Kylie on Kids Table Hot Takes, Sweatpants on Thanksgiving & Jason's Fried Turkey Incident | Ep. 46

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Speaker 3 It's like playing pinball.

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Speaker 3 Not gonna lie, you you might hear a lot of sounds in the background in today's episode. I'm trying to train a studio dog to be a studio dog and not quite nailing it yet.

Speaker 3 Let's get this podcast started.

Speaker 3 Welcome to our first ever Thanksgiving special episode of Not Gonna Lie, a Wave Original brought to you by Amazon. I'm your host, Kylie Kelsey.

Speaker 3 The best Thanksgiving food is green bean casserole, period. Not up for discussion.

Speaker 3 Everybody knows that.

Speaker 3 Go Chiefs. Fuck the Cowboys.
And the best Thanksgiving episode of Friends is definitely,

Speaker 3 I think it's Rachel, Rachel's trifle. I think it is.
I feel like a close second is when Joey wears the Santa maternity pants. Anyway, happy Thanksgiving, real ones.

Speaker 3 Or at least happy Tuesday before Thanksgiving. And remember, you're really going to want to, you're turkey.

Speaker 3 You can blur that again. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.
I love it because it has nothing to do with gifts. It has to do with the things that you are thankful for in your life.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 you get good ass food and some green bean casserole. And to be clear, there have been times, specifically when I was pregnant, where I made green bean casserole outside of a holiday.

Speaker 3 But really, the only two holidays where it's acceptable to make green bean casserole is Thanksgiving and Christmas. And outside of that, when the fuck are you making green bean casserole?

Speaker 3 I have consistently said that Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday since I was maybe in middle school. Like, I've been tuned in on this for a long time.

Speaker 3 But, like, you know, I'm only 24, so middle school wasn't that long ago.

Speaker 3 You get it. Okay.
Coming up on today's Thanksgiving special, you're getting the solo episode you all asked for.

Speaker 3 I hope you're happy.

Speaker 3 But jokes on you. Now you're getting trapped with me for the next nope.
No.

Speaker 3 No.

Speaker 3 Here we go again. Let me read it the way Emma wrote it in the rundown, and then I'm going to tell you what the fuck I meant, okay?

Speaker 3 You're getting the solo episode you all asked for. I hope you're happy, but the joke's on you.
Now you're trapped with me for the next 60 minutes. Then Emma wrote, gotcha.

Speaker 3 While I rant about food and random shit about my kids, good luck. Good luck to you, Emma.
Good luck to you getting 60 minutes approved.

Speaker 3 Now, within all this ranting, I'm going to talk about Thanksgiving in the Kelsey house, my stance on hard pants during holidays. I'll answer a bunch of the real ones' questions and ask me some things.

Speaker 3 And apparently, Queen Emma has a pop quiz planned. Plus, we'll keep our eyes peeled for any surprise cameos.
People were very, very intrigued about the squirrel situation. It's a gloomy day.

Speaker 3 I don't see any out there. And we have our studio dog, so we'll see what they think about that.

Speaker 3 Who knows?

Speaker 3 Hey, guys, it was so cute. And there is a very large window next to me here.
And it jumped right up on the chair that's framed out perfectly in the window. It was,

Speaker 3 do you want me to take a picture from this viewpoint? Emma's, I can see Emma behind the camera taking a picture. Look,

Speaker 3 it was right on that pillow. I want a, I would love an arrow to this pillow, please.
Whatever. It's fine.
Now, an NGL announcement.

Speaker 3 Next Tuesday, December 2nd, we're dropping the second episode of FAFO exclusively on YouTube. So please subscribe to the NGL YouTube.
You will not want to miss this one.

Speaker 3 This is an episode that's very near and dear to my heart. I feel it deep in my soul, and I think you're going to enjoy it.

Speaker 3 I'm not going to tell you exactly where I fucked around, but I will say it was basically in my own backyard. There was chuffing involved, a very like,

Speaker 3 if you know, you know. And I picked up a non-human turd.

Speaker 3 I didn't raw dog it this time. I didn't because I was given a glove.
Follow us at NGO with Kylie for the official announcement soon.

Speaker 3 And next up, an absolutely absurd edition of Places Kylie Has No Business Being, because this past week, not going to lie, with Kylie Kelsey, had absolutely no business being ranked the number two top new show of 2025 on Apple Podcast charts.

Speaker 3 We were number two behind Good Hang with Amy Poehler.

Speaker 3 They're the top new show of the year. And I cannot emphasize enough, I speak for everyone on our NGL team.
We will gladly take second place to Amy Poehler all fucking day, all day.

Speaker 3 I can't even,

Speaker 3 I can't even fathom that.

Speaker 3 Like being on the list, crazy. Being second, like being right next to, we're, we're basically, we're basically touching Amy Poehler.
We're basically friends.

Speaker 3 I think that's how, that's called girl math.

Speaker 3 So shout out to Go to Hang and all the other top shows, including the other podcast, Jason and Travis's episode with Taylor, was the number three most listened to podcast episode of the entire year.

Speaker 3 If it had released a little earlier in the year, I firmly believe they would have.

Speaker 3 Like the turkey. Let's be clear.
That episode has been out for maybe three months. And I firmly believe that had it been on the internet earlier in the year,

Speaker 3 it would have blown everyone else out of the water. I mean, to be clear, it did.

Speaker 3 It fucked up some records.

Speaker 3 But

Speaker 3 that's because

Speaker 3 when you got three amazing people just getting together to chitty chat, that's what happens.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Squad. All right, moving on.
It's time for my favorite segment. You know what's fucked up? Hey, you know what's fucked up? The utter disrespect for Thanksgiving in this country.

Speaker 3 That's right, I said it. Let Thanksgiving have her moment.
Don't you skip over Thanksgiving right onto Christmas. Cut it the fuck out.

Speaker 3 Honestly, if I have to see one more person putting up their Christmas tree before Thanksgiving even fucking gets here, I swear to God,

Speaker 3 I'm going to flip the Thanksgiving table. No, I won't.

Speaker 3 No, I won't. Because I'm not taking down the green bean casserole because y'all are fucking nuts.

Speaker 3 Here's the deal. Last night, Wyatt said to me, can we watch Home Alone? And I said, next week.
The only movie in our house that has broken the barrier is The Granch.

Speaker 3 And everybody knows that. Because I'm not pissing off Benny.
Ah, that one scares me. She demands The Grinch.
We watch The Granch. Okay.
And I love The Grinch because it gives the new Grinch.

Speaker 3 I love the old Grinch with Jim Carrey. I also love The New Grinch.
I think it's fun. The soundtracks fire.
But here's the deal. It is the only holiday movie that has broken out of.

Speaker 3 Now, if you want to watch Christmas movies

Speaker 3 until New Year's, fine. You are not watching it before Thanksgiving in our house.

Speaker 3 Unless I'm not home. Maybe my husband would probably do it.
He's a little unhinged like that. But I'm not doing it.
The only acceptable decorations to do before Thanksgiving that relate to Christmas,

Speaker 3 Christmas lights on your house.

Speaker 3 Because if I could, I'd have a mirror round. I love that shit so much.
I love when it's dark out and there's just like this light glow.

Speaker 3 Now, if you put up Christmas lights on the outside of your house and they are that bright, light LED blue,

Speaker 3 get fucked. There should be a light glow, It should be warm and a little bit yellow.
Everybody knows that. Now,

Speaker 3 we are not lining our walkway with the candy canes before Thanksgiving. Do you see a theme here?

Speaker 3 Cut it out.

Speaker 3 Stop it.

Speaker 3 Now, Queen Emma's asking in the rundown when we decorate for Christmas at our house.

Speaker 3 It depends.

Speaker 3 Guys, I am so type-C that some years I will have lit garland on our mantelpiece and other years it never sees the light of day. Some years we have stockings hung over the fireplace and other years

Speaker 3 they are nowhere to be seen.

Speaker 3 I am very inconsistent. One year, oh my God, it was so bad.

Speaker 3 I should look, I should look to see exactly what it is.

Speaker 3 I'll send you a picture. There was a one year that I think we left the stockings that we hung up over the mantle, like on the mantle.

Speaker 3 I'm pretty sure we left the stockings up until the following Christmas.

Speaker 3 I don't, I might,

Speaker 3 at the very least, it was until summer. That's what you get with me.
And while I'm already fired up,

Speaker 3 you know what else is fucked up? Wearing hard pants on Thanksgiving. What are we doing? What are we doing?

Speaker 3 No, hard pants can get fucked. Let me tell you what hard pants are, okay?

Speaker 3 Any pants that have belt loops. That's pretty easy.
I feel like I just covered all hard pants. Wow.
I just, I wasn't even prepared to do that explanation.

Speaker 3 If a pair of pants has belt loops, get fucked.

Speaker 3 You can fuck right on off. I'm out.

Speaker 3 I

Speaker 3 most likely

Speaker 3 maximum, maximum effort I am putting in on a holiday that we are hosting

Speaker 3 maximum effort,

Speaker 3 mascara, change out of my pajamas. I've worn sweatpants for holidays multiple times and I stand by that decision.
There is no reason in your own house,

Speaker 3 even if you're going to someone else's house, what are we doing? Let's like sit on the couch and be cozy. Why are we going to sit there in our jeans and then like have to unbutton them?

Speaker 3 And then, if you don't unbutton them, if you don't unbutton them, what were you doing? What did you eat?

Speaker 3 No, let me be clear. I think it's so cute when other people do a holiday outfit, kids in cute little dresses, all of it.
I think it's adorable. I love when other people do it.

Speaker 3 I'm not prepared to invest that much effort

Speaker 3 unless my hand was forced.

Speaker 3 Now.

Speaker 3 Yeah, no, I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it unless I have to.

Speaker 3 The general vibe at the Kelsey house for Thanksgiving, there is a kids' table at Thanksgiving. And here's where I'll probably get a little judgment.

Speaker 3 And I'm okay with it.

Speaker 3 When we sit down to Thanksgiving dinner,

Speaker 3 I will probably put the kids' table in the living room where it is like

Speaker 3 we can see it from the dining room table.

Speaker 3 And I will put on the TV.

Speaker 3 There will come a time where my kids will sit at the table

Speaker 3 and indulge in holiday meal in like in full.

Speaker 3 Right? They'll sit at the table. They'll be engaged in conversation.

Speaker 3 They will actually eat the things presented to them.

Speaker 3 It's okay that it's not right now. And also, selfishly, I want to eat my food.

Speaker 3 So, how about that? Now, all this heated Thanksgiving talk actually leads me perfectly into some more of my do's and don'ts of Thanksgiving brought to you by Amazon. Shop Black Friday week deals now.

Speaker 3 Number one on my list,

Speaker 3 do pace yourself and do savor each bite. This day comes but once a year,

Speaker 3 which is exactly why I'm going to sit my kids in front of the TV so that I can

Speaker 3 maybe

Speaker 3 enjoy four bites before I get asked for something.

Speaker 3 Like dessert. Two, don't pressure others into participating in your turkey trots, turkey burns, or whatever the fuck else you want to do.
I love that for you, truly.

Speaker 3 But I don't need to earn my Thanksgiving dinner. And neither do you, really.

Speaker 3 Now, do I love physical activity? Yes.

Speaker 3 But I can do it on Friday.

Speaker 3 Or Wednesday.

Speaker 3 That's all.

Speaker 3 You got it. I believe in you.

Speaker 3 Number three, do play some backyard football or watch family and friends play. Football and Thanksgiving go hand in hand.

Speaker 3 You're supposed to have football on in the background so that people can be watching that while they're talking and mingling and chopping and doing things.

Speaker 3 Speaking of Thanksgiving football, number four, don't root for the Cowboys and do root for the Chiefs. Let's go, Uncle Trav.

Speaker 3 Um,

Speaker 3 first of all, congratulations to Travis on the franchise touchdown record. For those of you who don't understand what an accomplishment that is,

Speaker 3 we're talking about that stat means that every other player that has played for the Chiefs Chiefs organization has never had a touchdown record for the Chiefs

Speaker 3 as much as Travis has now scored. So Travis now owns the record

Speaker 3 of how many touchdowns he has made for the Chiefs franchise in his career.

Speaker 3 So that is an unbelievable feat. something that will be very difficult to get dethroned from Knock on Wood.
Oh, that was questionable. Sorry, Trav.
Sorry, Trav. I fixed it.

Speaker 3 But seriously, very impressive.

Speaker 3 And also, I'm so sick of the idea that the Cowboys are America's team, so they can kiss my ass and you guessed it, get fucked. And hey, do make the game fun.

Speaker 3 Maybe you eat a turkey leg every time Travis scores a touchdown.

Speaker 3 Huh.

Speaker 3 Maybe

Speaker 3 take a

Speaker 3 maybe you could, maybe you could um

Speaker 3 oh

Speaker 3 can't say that

Speaker 3 we'll bleep it. Maybe you could take a shot every time.

Speaker 3 Also, speaking of football, do root for the birds on the Black Friday game because we'll be there.

Speaker 3 Maybe.

Speaker 3 You know what? Who knows? Maybe I'll be in a turkey coma.

Speaker 3 But as always, go birds. Go birds.
Also, the other podcast is having a tailgate at the link on Friday.

Speaker 3 And I made a plea on social media that my husband take me with him.

Speaker 3 So as long as I can take a Thanksgiving leftover sandwich to go,

Speaker 3 I'm there. This one is more for the tiny humans at Thanksgiving.
Number five, don't yuck someone else's yum. AKA, don't talk shit about the green bean casserole, cranberry sauce, any of it.

Speaker 3 Don't you dare tell me that the food is gross.

Speaker 3 Okay, we're about to cut up some turkey and try and lie to our children and tell them that it's chicken.

Speaker 3 I know I'm not the only house doing that.

Speaker 3 We also call pork chops in our house chicken.

Speaker 3 We have pork chops, turkey, and actually chicken that we call chicken. So,

Speaker 3 yes. The girls will need a reminder not to yuck people's yum

Speaker 3 because

Speaker 3 they'll eat approximately three things that are served.

Speaker 3 And when I say three things that are served, I mean each of my three children who are currently like eating meals independently will each pick a single thing that they will eat, aka three things total amongst three children.

Speaker 3 Someone will eat some turkey. I'm, I can guarantee that.
Benny might eat green bean casserole because homegirl loves a green bean. She follows after her mom on that one.

Speaker 3 What else? Oh, they will eat some of the cheese board,

Speaker 3 but

Speaker 3 a lot of that ends up being them making crackers for other people to eat, which is actually a disgusting practice. Someone will eat macaroni and cheese.
I can almost guarantee that.

Speaker 3 They will eat buttered rolls.

Speaker 3 I can say that's a three-for-three situation. Now,

Speaker 3 are they at least one, Wyatt, will eat the butter off of the roll, and it is a toss-up of whether or not she eats the actual roll.

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 3 she'll probably just skip the middleman and give her a pat of butter. Benny will probably eat cranberry sauce because she's a little goofy like that.
She's, I'm telling you, she's,

Speaker 3 we share a lot of foods. Uh, when I eat salads in front of her, she goes, is that salad?

Speaker 3 Can I have some?

Speaker 3 So. She's built different, that one.

Speaker 3 They will tell me after they tell me that they're full while their plates still have food all over them.

Speaker 3 They will proceed to put their plate in the sink, immediately come to the side of me and say, Can we have dessert? What's for dessert? What are we having for dessert? Are we gonna have dessert?

Speaker 3 Is ice cream for dessert? Can I have a mini comb for dessert? Are we having cake? Are we having pie? I don't like pie. Can I have dessert?

Speaker 3 So there's that

Speaker 3 because you know their dinner stomach is full, but their dessert stomach

Speaker 3 empty. Number six: if your Thanksgiving dinner combo takes a contentious turn,

Speaker 3 do redirect to something we can all get behind. Okay?

Speaker 3 Cute dogs. Yes? The musical stylings of Wicked 2.
And of course, you can always just interrupt the conversation with a good go birds. That'll break it up.

Speaker 3 Don't leave early to go camp out in front of some store. We have Amazon at home now.
Shop for all your gifts while you watch the cowboys hopefully fall flat on their faces.

Speaker 3 Amazon Black Friday deals are live now, not just on Friday. And if the chaos in your house doesn't slow down until the weekend, Cyber Monday deals start Saturday, too.

Speaker 3 So basically, it's just deals, deals, deals, deals, deals. And it comes to your front door.
Guys,

Speaker 3 here's what we need to do. Okay.

Speaker 3 For those of you who need to buy gifts for we humans, okay,

Speaker 3 do it now.

Speaker 3 Do it right now. Do it.

Speaker 3 Do it

Speaker 3 now.

Speaker 3 Okay. While you lay in bed, fill up your cart, check out.
It's going to come right to your front door.

Speaker 3 And then you can just store it away. That does it for you.
Know what's fucked up. And my do's and don'ts of Thanksgiving brought to you by Amazon.

Speaker 3 Moving on, as is tradition in these solo episodes, let's get to some of the real ones' most burning questions in a Thanksgiving edition of Ask Me Some Things because Ask Me Anything is far too open-ended.

Speaker 3 Yep, that's right. You guys needed boundaries.
Ask Me Some Things is brought to you by Zip Recruiter, the smartest way to hire.

Speaker 3 Speaking of hiring and really jobs, around the Thanksgiving holiday, you know that you're cooking, taking care of your kids, working, taking care of everything else in life.

Speaker 3 It's a lot. Way more than a full-time job.
So I want to shout out to all of the parents, grandparents, caretakers, guardians who are just hustling and getting the job done. Cheers to you, real ones.

Speaker 3 Now, first question is from Rotman Jenny. Who cooks the turkey and who carves it?

Speaker 3 Depends who you ask.

Speaker 3 Typically, my mom and I cook the turkey, and

Speaker 3 honestly, I feel like my mom carves it.

Speaker 3 Jason has cooked turkeys the last two years. He is in charge of frying the turkey.

Speaker 3 He tried his very best.

Speaker 3 But if you ask him

Speaker 3 if the whole thing was safe to eat,

Speaker 3 the answer might have been no.

Speaker 3 He looked cute, don't it, though? You know?

Speaker 3 Jason doesn't cook often. So honestly, another situation of when he tries, it almost pisses me off because he's good at everything.

Speaker 3 But he did come up a little short two years in a row on the cook time.

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 3 good news is Lil Elise and I always do standard oven baked turkey, oven roasted turkey. And so we did have backup.
Next question from Brusso Brucker.

Speaker 3 Are you able to get all together on actual Thanksgiving due to the football games? No.

Speaker 3 We

Speaker 3 often,

Speaker 3 over the last, I don't know, however many years, we have often shifted a holiday, just one or two days. And that's okay.

Speaker 3 We will sadly not see Travis for Thanksgiving this year because he will be busy playing.

Speaker 3 But we do love to make sure that we

Speaker 3 make an effort, if possible, to see each other around the holidays. So

Speaker 3 it's a little bit difficult when people are moving all over the place. And since everyone is not all in the same area, it gets difficult.

Speaker 3 But we make sure that over the holiday season that we carve out time to see each other.

Speaker 3 It's really, it's a funny thing to think about the fact that when you're watching a football game that is a staple on Thanksgiving, you're not really thinking about

Speaker 3 the

Speaker 3 thousand

Speaker 3 people who have to work that day to make sure that the broadcast happens, that the stadium opens, that there's concessions happening.

Speaker 3 All of those people are taking time away from their families on the holiday to make sure that everyone can enjoy this football game and sort of lean into the tradition. So,

Speaker 3 shout out to all the NFL families whose holidays are disrupted.

Speaker 3 But

Speaker 3 the good news is, is that

Speaker 3 I'm sure that everyone will find time to celebrate and get together with their families the same way that we have over the years. From Kristen Ann, 16, first Thanksgiving with my BF.

Speaker 3 So exciting. How was your and Jason's first and any advice?

Speaker 3 I genuinely have no idea.

Speaker 3 I straight up have no clue. Guys, I had, I've had, I've pushed out four human beings.
That means four times my brain has left my body.

Speaker 3 Kirsten, I'm so excited that you're having your first Thanksgiving with your BF. Make sure that you tell your boyfriend that you're thankful for him if you are.

Speaker 3 And if you're not, get the hell out of there. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 3 Happy holidays.

Speaker 3 Next up from the Gerns, fuck Mary Kill. Thanksgiving dinner edition.
Okay, here's, here's my logic on this. All right.
We're leaving leaving mashed potatoes. We're leaving mac and cheese.

Speaker 3 We're leaving them out of this running because they're like a year-round food.

Speaker 3 Like you could really have mashed potatoes with a steak and asparagus for dinner one night, or you could have mac and cheese and pulled pork and that for dinner one night.

Speaker 3 So like those very much live outside of Thanksgiving. And although they are phenomenal and I would love to include them in this, I can't because they live outside of this.
So I'm going to go with,

Speaker 3 oh no, oh no. Should we go strictly Thanksgiving foods? Green bean casserole, cranberry sauce,

Speaker 3 stuffing. Oh no,

Speaker 3 I'm taking this very seriously, like far more serious than it needs to be. And I feel, I feel invested now.

Speaker 3 I'm gonna marry green bean casserole.

Speaker 3 I'm gonna fuck the stuffing.

Speaker 3 Mary Green Bean casserole, fuck stuffing.

Speaker 3 Kill cranberry sauce that's not jellied. Nailed it.
Loophole. And that does it for Ask Me Some Things.
Thanksgiving edition brought to you by Zip Recruiter.

Speaker 3 I'm going to ask, oh, I'm not going to ask, but you guys are. I'm going to answer even more of your questions in part two.
But first, some messages from me. This episode is brought to you by Amazon.

Speaker 3 Amazon has everything for everyone everyone on your list this year. I know that I will be adding all of the things to my Amazon cart because I can do it as I think of it.

Speaker 3 And I don't even have to check out right away. I can just put it in my cart and make sure that as the thoughts come, I can add them in there.
And they're going to come right to my front door.

Speaker 3 And that is the kind of support I need during the holiday season.

Speaker 3 And with Amazon Black Friday week happening right now, you can save up to 40% on the gifts everyone wants, like the latest toys and hottest housewares and and the gifts they need, like new clothes for these tiny humans of mine who keep getting less and less tiny.

Speaker 3 I don't like it. I am very big into Black Friday week because I love a deal.
I love a deal so much.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 it is the motivation I need to get ahead on my holiday shopping. So I'm 100% down for Black Friday week.

Speaker 3 Once again, real ones, you can save up to 40% on gifts right now during Amazon's Black Friday week. Shop Black Friday week deals now.

Speaker 3 As the real ones know, I've had a lot of different jobs over the years. I was a cashier in the local grocery store.
I was a coach. I still am a coach.

Speaker 3 I was an instructional assistant, snack bar manager, babysitter.

Speaker 3 I was,

Speaker 3 you get it. I had a lot of jobs.
And now I'm somehow considered a podcaster and a YouTuber.

Speaker 3 Wow, life comes at you fast.

Speaker 3 If you're an employer looking to find top talent in any of the fields I just mentioned and well beyond, ZipRecruiter's matching technology works fast so you don't waste your time or money.

Speaker 3 You can find out right away how many job seekers in your area are qualified for your role. Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day.

Speaker 3 And if you're looking for a job yourself, ZipRecruiter matches you up with relevant jobs in minutes and you can apply to most of them with just one click.

Speaker 3 Most applications on ZipRecruiter are viewed right away within 48 hours based on their recent data. The majority of jobs on ZipRecruiter include salary and benefits info.

Speaker 3 Plus, ZipRecruiter is the number one rated job site based on G2. Try ZipRecruiter for free at ziprecruiter.com backslash NGL.
That's ziprecruiter.com/slash NGL right now. Try it for free.

Speaker 3 ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire.

Speaker 3 We find Vecna. We end this once and for all together.

Speaker 4 On December 25th, we have a plan.

Speaker 3 It's a bit insane. Everyone in?

Speaker 4 He knows where we are.

Speaker 3 Watch out!

Speaker 4 Get ready for one last adventure.

Speaker 3 We stay true to ourselves.

Speaker 3 Stay true to our friends, no matter the cost.

Speaker 3 Found you.

Speaker 4 Stranger Things, Season 5, Volume 2, begins December 25th, only on Netflix.

Speaker 3 This week on Scene on the Screen, we were like, okay, we're going to do three times, more than three times that amount of animatronics for the second one.

Speaker 3 So we've got like a full-on army of animatronics in the second. We really focused on the fan base first and foremost.
At least if we stick the landing with them,

Speaker 3 we're in good shape.

Speaker 5 Join me, Jacqueline Coley, as I meet the filmmakers, actors, and industry insiders influencing entertainment.

Speaker 5 Each episode, guests share their journeys and inspirations and answer trivia about the movies that shape them.

Speaker 5 My next guest is Emma Tommy, director of Five Nights at Freddy's and Five Nights at Freddy's 2. To listen, simply search Scene on the Screen screen wherever you listen to podcasts.

Speaker 3 And we're back and so is Doom Scroll the week. And shocker, it's a special Thanksgiving edition of Doom Scroll, starting with this baking TikTok that proves TikTok isn't just for videos.

Speaker 3 I feel so strongly about this. I really want to nail this point, okay?

Speaker 3 TikTok.

Speaker 3 You are TikToking wrong if you're just laying there scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. You're TikToking wrong, okay? And this is how I'm going to prove it to you.

Speaker 3 Someone innocently posted this video of cookies she was struggling to bake with the text, Why are my cookies still dough? In parentheses, it says, I cooked it for 11 minutes, then it was still soft.

Speaker 3 So I did eight minutes, and it's still soft.

Speaker 3 She's pinching it, and it straight up looks like play-doh.

Speaker 3 Okay,

Speaker 3 first of all, your oven's broken. Okay,

Speaker 3 I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you.

Speaker 3 But

Speaker 3 in this instance, okay,

Speaker 3 you have to

Speaker 3 sprint to the comments. You got to get in those comments so fast, your freaking hair blows back, okay?

Speaker 3 Let me just, let me read a few, okay?

Speaker 3 What did you use to cook them? A heated argument? Girl, baked these with the heat of the moment.

Speaker 3 Did you drop?

Speaker 3 Did you try turning the oven on?

Speaker 3 Home girl baked these with warm regards.

Speaker 3 Fifteen,

Speaker 3 I can't. Fifteen degrees for 350 minutes, question mark.

Speaker 3 this one? This is what got me.

Speaker 3 This same thing happened to me.

Speaker 3 Your mom.

Speaker 3 I'm crying. I'm crying.
Your mom has to replace the light bulb in the Easy Pink.

Speaker 3 Oh my God.

Speaker 3 But Put the cookie.

Speaker 3 Guys, actual tears. Hold on.
I'm not done.

Speaker 3 Oh, God. Put the cookies in the comments section because it's roasting in here.

Speaker 3 Oh, God.

Speaker 3 Oh, God.

Speaker 3 This shit is fucking phenomenal. Guys, if you are not reading the comments, you're doing it wrong.

Speaker 3 This is how you should TikTok. You should be deep in the comments, okay?

Speaker 3 Oh, it's so good.

Speaker 3 Queen Emma said, it's the holiday. Should we get honest about your baking skills?

Speaker 3 Probably.

Speaker 3 What can I bake?

Speaker 3 I can bake

Speaker 3 chocolate chip cookies.

Speaker 3 And not the ones that are like break and bake. I can actually like make a dough and bake cookies.
Um,

Speaker 3 I am

Speaker 3 excuse me, excuse me, those presents aren't for you. I know there will be some for you.
I'm sure the big man will bring you something.

Speaker 3 You're gonna lay right there.

Speaker 3 Thank you.

Speaker 3 I can bake chocolate chip cookies.

Speaker 3 I can bake fun fetti cupcakes.

Speaker 3 I can bake.

Speaker 3 Oh, the one thing that I bake the most is banana chocolate chip muffins or banana chocolate chip bread. We do have well-known bakers in the family.

Speaker 3 Donna's dinner rolls, big hit.

Speaker 3 Grandma Mary had great chocolate chip cookies. Taylor makes all banging sourdough loaf.
I mean,

Speaker 3 it's so good.

Speaker 3 And Pop-Tarts.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 That's even more why I don't need to lean into being a baker because it's covered.

Speaker 3 So I'm just going to keep enjoying what is made.

Speaker 3 It's fine.

Speaker 3 Queen Emma's asking, do I want to give baking a try and let TikTok comments do their worst? Sure. Absolutely.
Let's do it. I will share.

Speaker 3 I did not bake a cake, but there was one year for,

Speaker 3 I want to say it was Ellie's birthday. She asked for a bluey cake.
And so I got a Wegman's chocolate cake and I put bluey on it.

Speaker 3 And by put bluey on it, I mean I mixed vanilla icing that comes in a tub up with some food coloring and then piped it on with a plastic bag. Maybe we'll post that and you guys can do your worst.

Speaker 3 Okay, we'll put that on our social media. When I showed it to my children, one of them said, It's a bunny.

Speaker 3 So I've already been roasted. How much worse can it get?

Speaker 3 Great. Let's try it.
And our next scroll, according to my TikTok algorithm and my Gen Z nieces, Thanksgiving is in the thick of cuffing season.

Speaker 3 And if you don't know what that means, Queen Emma, the clip, please.

Speaker 6 This is exactly why they tell you to get you a little

Speaker 6 something, something, a little bay, a little busky, a little whatever the kids be saying, fine, the fine shit.

Speaker 6 Because when the temperatures drop

Speaker 6 and you go home and you in your bed and you don't got nobody to cuddle with, this, this is, this is, I'm telling you, when you're single, when the springtime comes and the summertime comes, it doesn't even cross your mind.

Speaker 6 You're like, yes, I'm living. As soon as it gets cold, you're like,

Speaker 3 I wish I could cuddle up with somebody. This is all accurate information.
That was very well put.

Speaker 3 I

Speaker 3 nailed cuffing season. And I'm going to tell you why.
The idea of cuddling in the cooler months is because you want to be nice and cozy and warm cuddled up next to somebody. I married a human furnace.

Speaker 3 Okay. That man runs hot.
And I'm not just talking about the way he looks. It is absurd how warm he is as a human being.

Speaker 3 So I fucking nailed this. I nailed this so hard.
I think that if I asked Jason about cuffing season, that he would know exactly what it is. I feel like he would

Speaker 3 understand that.

Speaker 3 I do think it's funny

Speaker 3 that people consistently agree that cuffing season is the fall. That if you're not in a relationship by the fall,

Speaker 3 the clock's ticking. But

Speaker 3 full disclosure, don't settle.

Speaker 3 Don't do that.

Speaker 3 Ladies, we can get heated blankets. Okay.
We can get a heated blanket. We don't need, we don't need to settle.
Don't do that.

Speaker 3 Don't do that.

Speaker 3 Plus, when it comes to the holidays, think about it like this. If you're going into this holiday season single as a Pringle, this is what I'm going to tell you.

Speaker 3 No one's going to buy a better gift for you than you

Speaker 3 because you you know exactly what you want. And you won't be spending the money on somebody else to get them something that you think they want.
So then you can just splurge on yourself.

Speaker 3 Doesn't that sound kind of nice?

Speaker 3 Does, doesn't it? Get yourself a heated blanket. You'll be nice and cozy.

Speaker 3 You can get a cozy pair of slippers.

Speaker 3 And then you can watch all the chick-flick holiday movies and call the girlies to come over.

Speaker 3 Perfect.

Speaker 3 Shush!

Speaker 3 Why are you barking at a fucking keyboard?

Speaker 3 You're losing your studio dog privileges!

Speaker 3 Do you need to go outside? You're being crazy. Okay, hold on.

Speaker 3 And that's it for Doom Scroll the Week. Moving on, it's another week.
Another ridiculous question I was asked by one of my children that I didn't know the answer to. So let's get to the bottom of it.

Speaker 3 In Tiny Human Question of the Week, brought to you by Perplexity. Everybody knows that my kids kids are at the age where they ask a lot of questions.

Speaker 3 A lot of it ends up as an initial question and then a lot of why?

Speaker 3 Why?

Speaker 3 Why?

Speaker 3 But this week ahead of the holiday, Ellie was getting into the Thanksgiving Day spirit and she wanted to make sure that we had plenty of turkeys to decorate the house.

Speaker 3 So we went online, as we typically do, to print out a bunch of pictures of turkeys that she could color in and add as decoration to the house. And as we were doing it, she said to me,

Speaker 3 Mom, how do you tell if it's a boy turkey or a girl turkey?

Speaker 3 I didn't have an answer, I genuinely didn't. I had some assumptions, but I wanted to make sure that I was clear.
My best guess was: typically in the animal kingdom, the males are more

Speaker 3 flamboyant. They are more,

Speaker 3 it's more of a display because they need to impress the ladies.

Speaker 3 So,

Speaker 3 but I still, Ellie's my animal lover, so I wanted to make sure that I gave her a legitimate answer.

Speaker 3 Let's get her the actual one. So, Queen Emma, can you please pull up perplexity and ask, how do you tell the difference between a boy turkey and a girl turkey?

Speaker 3 To tell the difference between a boy turkey called a tom, I had no idea, and a girl turkey called a hen, you can look for several key physical and behavioral traits.

Speaker 3 The easiest way is to examine the color and features on the head and feathers. Males are more robust and distinctive traits not seen with distinctive traits not seen in females.

Speaker 3 Okay, so it is very much what I thought. The beard.
We know we love a beard. Most toms have a bristle-like beard, a long filament protruding from the chest.

Speaker 3 Some hens may also have a small beard, but it's rare. This is perfect.
I can go back to Ellie now and make sure that she knows the difference between a male turkey and a female turkey. Super helpful.

Speaker 3 That's it for Tiny Humans Question of the Week, brought to you by Perplexity. I'll be right back with some answers to the real ones non-Thanksgiving questions and ask me some things part two.

Speaker 3 Real ones. I hope you got to witness our NFL Piping Hot Tea Alt Broadcast group chat with Caleb Heron during the Chiefs game over the weekend on WhatsApp.
It was incredible.

Speaker 3 To be able to do it with people asking us live questions related to football made it extra fun.

Speaker 3 I don't know that there's a better way to spend your Sunday than enjoying football and specifically with friends.

Speaker 3 That's always the best. Caleb, hilarious.

Speaker 3 I don't, I, I mean, I would say like top 10, maybe top five funniest people on the internet. I love his takes and it was

Speaker 3 incredibly comical the whole time. Straight laughs.
I'm also a big fan of the polls in WhatsApp. Queen Emma was posting.
The gifts. Also, the video notes are very fun.

Speaker 3 I'm so glad Caleb and I were able to bring this piping hot tea NFL broadcast idea to life thanks to WhatsApp and the chat. And I think that we're going to have to do it again.
How about that?

Speaker 3 For even more real ones, and so true fans. WhatsApp is the ultimate second screen experience for any live game.

Speaker 3 And for the best group chat experiences, like the one Caleb and I just had for the Chiefs game, It's time for WhatsApp.

Speaker 3 All right, let's get right back to more of your Ask Me Some Things questions. The first batch were about Thanksgiving, but these are about everything else.

Speaker 3 First up from Judge Books by the cover, I listened to this podcast on two times speed while running. So a 90-minute episode is a 45-minute episode.
If it is less than that, I run less.

Speaker 3 Is that what you want, Kylie? America exercising less? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Next question.

Speaker 3 Actually,

Speaker 3 I'm on record saying I don't run unless it's from something or for something.

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 3 the running is hard to get me to buy in on.

Speaker 3 So,

Speaker 3 oh, lovely. Here we go.
A note from the desk of Queen Emma. Because you know we love those.
Hey, girl, no offense, but this person might really have a point here.

Speaker 3 In some ways, a cool 60 is actually only dirty 30.

Speaker 3 If you really think about it, haha, some food for thought. Okay, bye, love ya.

Speaker 3 Asshole.

Speaker 3 No.

Speaker 3 Absolutely not. Next question is something we surprisingly get a lot.
Who is Queen Emma? Great question.

Speaker 3 For those of you who have not been here from the beginning or heard this explanation, I will give it to you one more time. The other podcast.

Speaker 3 has an executive producer who was called out on the show

Speaker 3 as an intern. He was referenced multiple times as an intern.
Eventually, they did share his name. He then became intern Brandon.

Speaker 3 Okay?

Speaker 3 I started out this podcast making sure that it was known

Speaker 3 that my producer, Queen Emma, was not going to be reduced.

Speaker 3 See it? Do you see her?

Speaker 3 That she was not going to be reduced to an intern when she is a producer. So this is Queen Emma.
She's my producer. My favorite part is when we meet real ones out in the wild

Speaker 3 and they

Speaker 3 will be like, oh, I've listened to the podcast. And I'm like, great.
That's Queen Emma. And you know what Queen Emma does?

Speaker 3 Hi.

Speaker 3 I swear to God, every time she's like in her head, get fucked, get fucked, Kylie. Get fucked, get fucked.
I was minding my business back here. Get fucked.

Speaker 3 Is that right, Emma?

Speaker 3 Yeah,

Speaker 3 it's pretty accurate. Okay.

Speaker 3 Queen Emma, I've made threats to her that she will be on camera more because she will because I'm sick of talking about her like she's a mythical creature. She is a mythical creature.

Speaker 3 But good news, Queen Emma is actually in the room with me right now. So Queen Emma, you can get your ass over here.

Speaker 3 Look at how happy she is to be over here.

Speaker 3 Hey, everybody. Uh-huh.
Hey, friends. I dare you to say cool 60.
Well, you're you're here.

Speaker 3 You're close enough for me to punch you. Watch yourself.

Speaker 3 Queen Emma is not here all the time, but sometimes we're in the same room, which is kind of fun.

Speaker 3 And Queen Emma's stuck with me. Thanks, Queen Emma, for coming into the shop.
I know you really wanted to do that. No problem.

Speaker 3 You know what? Misery loves company, guys. And if I have to be dragged in front of a camera, so does Emma.
Okay, and this next question appears to be pure rage bait. What's with the boy names?

Speaker 3 I'll tell you what's with the boys' names. We, my husband and I, liked gender-neutral names for our daughters.

Speaker 3 We picked the name Wyatt before we knew the gender of the baby.

Speaker 3 Obviously, she was a girl and we had already decided on the name Wyatt. We decided we liked it as a boy or as a girl.

Speaker 3 Elliot's nickname is Ellie, so you can.

Speaker 3 The part that I take issue with on people

Speaker 3 having an issue with our names

Speaker 3 is that

Speaker 3 I actually didn't ask.

Speaker 3 I didn't ask what you thought about my kids' names.

Speaker 3 My husband and I agreed on the names. We like them.

Speaker 3 You honestly, you should try naming a human being. It's not easy.
And so,

Speaker 3 yeah, I'm good.

Speaker 3 I will say there's occasionally

Speaker 3 I will come in contact with someone face-to-face who will say to me, oh, Wyatt, is that a family name? Because they're trying to find

Speaker 3 a saving grace in the idea that my husband and I picked Wyatt for a little girl.

Speaker 3 And you know what? The theme of this episode, besides giving thanks, might be getting fucked because they can get fucked.

Speaker 3 How about that? And that does it for Ask Me Some Things Part Two. Now, the last thing before I wrap up this solo episode, pop quizzes have sort of become a thing around here.

Speaker 3 We've done animal trivia, gen alpha slang, pop culture trivia twice with Jason. For our special episode, Queen Emma has prepared a Thanksgiving pop culture quiz.

Speaker 3 I hope I'm going to ace this one, but honestly, who the fuck knows? So here we go. Now, once again, I have a stack of note cards here with me with the answers to check my work as I go.
Here we go.

Speaker 3 Number one, the 99th annual Macy's Day Thanksgiving parade will debut a brand new float this year featuring this trendy yet creepy toy. I don't even have to read the options on this one, genuinely.

Speaker 3 Number A is a Furby. B is a Tamagotchi.
C is a giant one-eyed cabbage patch doll named Doreen. And D is a laboo boo.
As soon as I read creepy and trendy, it is a D laboo boo. It has to be.
It's D.

Speaker 3 It's a laboo boo. I can guarantee you we will not be watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade when the laboo boo comes on the screen because

Speaker 3 Ellie will lose her shit. And I don't blame her.
Okay.

Speaker 3 The iconic SNL music video, Back Home Ballers, about young adults going home for Thanksgiving only to have their parents do everything for them, again, an institution.

Speaker 3 Name a single SNL cast member or guest star who appears in this sketch. Shit.

Speaker 3 Shit.

Speaker 3 Shit.

Speaker 3 Okay,

Speaker 3 I'm going to talk this out.

Speaker 3 Queen Emma calling this an iconic SNL music video and saying that it's an institution makes me think that it's older.

Speaker 3 But she just winced. I'm going to go one of the safest guesses I could possibly go here.

Speaker 3 I'm going to go not that old.

Speaker 3 I'm going to go not old, not old. I'm not going to go too far back.
I'm going to go ahead and guess

Speaker 3 Tina Faye.

Speaker 3 Amy Poehler.

Speaker 3 Am I thinking? I'm I'm thinking too far back or too far back. Pete Davidson.

Speaker 3 Motherfucker. I'm going to take the all because if I keep guessing, it's just going to.

Speaker 3 Oh,

Speaker 3 God.

Speaker 3 Some options here. Cameron Diaz, Kate McKinnon, Leslie Jones.
I was not going to get that right. So number three, here we go.
Here we go. Here we go.

Speaker 3 I have faith in myself right now and I haven't even gotten into the question. I've just seen the first words.
Number three, new girl, easy. Whatever it is, easy.

Speaker 3 Had Thanksgiving themed episodes in five of its seven seasons. In season two, Jess attempts to, quote, parent trap her divorced parents for the holiday.
Who plays Jess's mom? Easy. Jamie Lee Curtis.

Speaker 3 The options that I had were A, Lolise McDevitt, B, Jamie Lee Curtis, C, Sarah Jessica Parker, or D, Donna Kelsey. That was very nice of you to eliminate two of those options for me, but I knew it.

Speaker 3 I didn't even need options. Number four, turkeys typically have a flappy, fleshy, hanging flap of skin on their throat that becomes more pronounced when they're trying to attract a mate.

Speaker 3 You tried to get me on this.

Speaker 3 You tried to get me on this, and I respects it.

Speaker 3 What is that? What is this thingy called? Okay, so I want to point out that Queen Emma is not talking about the little flap that goes over their nose, over their beak.

Speaker 3 She's talking about this situation.

Speaker 3 It is called a waddle.

Speaker 3 I'm going with waddle. Ellie said it.
Ellie and I were literally talking about it the other day.

Speaker 3 And I'm going with waddle.

Speaker 3 A waddle!

Speaker 3 Oh, I was thinking it was not spelled like that because I haven't actually seen the word, but we were talking about a waddle. So that's wow.

Speaker 3 Number five, speaking of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade, not gonna lie, has had four former guests participate in the parade. Name the one who did not participate.
Oh, God.

Speaker 3 This is perfect.

Speaker 3 I said, oh, God, and then I read a couple of the options, and I think I can confidently say this. And Emma is making it seem like I should not be this confident.
So there's that. A.
Brie Larson. B.

Speaker 3 Jennifer Hudson.

Speaker 3 C. Avril Levine.

Speaker 3 D. Ed Sheeran.
E. Kelly Clarkson.

Speaker 3 I'm going to go with A, Brie Larson, because there's a theme with the rest of these people and they were all musical talent.

Speaker 3 I'm about to get fucked, aren't I?

Speaker 3 D. Ed Sheeran.
Brie Larson was indeed a participant of the Macy's Day Thanksgiving parade. Number six, Thanksgiving weekend is a huge box office event.

Speaker 3 Which of the following movies had the highest grossing opening weekend over Thanksgiving in cinema history? This is hilarious.

Speaker 3 Your options on this are hilarious.

Speaker 3 A. Moana 2.
B Frozen. C.
Deuce Bigelow, European Gigalo. Or D, Avatar 6.
Yep, we made another one. So, D, Avatar 6.
Yep, we made another one. Doesn't exist.
Great. Now we're down to three.

Speaker 3 Moana 2, I don't think is it.

Speaker 3 I'm going to go B frozen.

Speaker 3 What?

Speaker 3 It's a Moana 2.

Speaker 3 Really?

Speaker 3 Wow.

Speaker 3 Seven. How many different Thanksgiving dinners did Lorelei and Rory go to in the Gilmore Girls season three episode titled Deep Fried Korean Thanksgiving? Four.

Speaker 3 I don't even need to read the options for. I literally just watched this episode.
You are trying to set me up for success here. I don't know why.
Oh, because you're going to try and get more minutes.

Speaker 3 You're an asshole.

Speaker 3 Wow.

Speaker 3 Eight, as any Philadelphian worth her soft pretzel salt knows, Wawa famously has a hoagie called the Gobbler, which was first introduced in 2005.

Speaker 3 Name all five key components of the traditional Wawa gobbler. Bonus points if you name the most common add-on.
Shit. Gobbler consists of a roll,

Speaker 3 cranberry, stuffing, turkey, gravy.

Speaker 3 Bonus points.

Speaker 3 The most common add-on

Speaker 3 is mayonnaise.

Speaker 3 What?

Speaker 3 Okay, first of all, I got the key components correct. I did not get the bonus point.

Speaker 3 Do people really put mashed potatoes on a sandwich? Nobody's talking to you.

Speaker 3 Literally, no one's talking to you. I need you to chill out.

Speaker 3 I said gobbler and homegirl got all excited.

Speaker 3 Same.

Speaker 3 Number nine, the season eight Thanksgiving episode of Friends titled The One with the Rumor. Guest starred this actor who also made an appearance on the other podcast this calendar year.

Speaker 3 A. Leonardo DiCaprio, B.
Dwayne The Rock Johnson. C.
Brad Pitt or D. Shaquille O'Neal.
C, Brad Pitt.

Speaker 3 I can confidently say that. Yep.
Brad Pitt. Nailed it.
I love that I show you guys the answers, like you won't believe me that that's what's written on the card.

Speaker 3 Yeah, is that it? Uh, number 10, name a single Thanksgiving-related song ever, just one.

Speaker 3 Is there one?

Speaker 3 Are there multiples?

Speaker 3 No one's talking to you!

Speaker 3 You have stuff in your beard. Get yourself together.

Speaker 3 I'm not talking to Jason.

Speaker 3 Hmm.

Speaker 3 You know who would know this?

Speaker 3 My husband. Okay.
Acceptable answers.

Speaker 3 Does Adam Sandler really have a Thanksgiving song? I should have guessed that.

Speaker 3 The theme music from Charlie Brown, Mash Potatoes, USA.

Speaker 3 Oh,

Speaker 3 that makes sense. We are family.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 3 This is all fair. I'll call all those fair.
Final score is 6 out of 10. That's 60%.
That's absolute trash. Everybody knows that.
So we're going to try and do better next time.

Speaker 3 That does it for my Thanksgiving pop culture pop quiz.

Speaker 3 That also does it for our special solo episode of Not Gonna Lie. You can find even more exclusive clips on my YouTube channel on More Shit Monday.
I'll be back next Thursday with a brand new episode.

Speaker 3 Remember, a brand new episode of FAFO is coming out on Tuesday, December 2nd, exclusively on YouTube. Please subscribe right now to the NGL YouTube channel so you don't miss it.

Speaker 3 Follow Not Gonna Lie on all social media at NGL with Kylie. Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcast.
Not gonna lie is a wave original brought to you by Amazon.

Speaker 3 Thanks again to the real ones for tuning in.

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Speaker 3 And Ricky, wear them, please.