Best of 2020

Speaker 1 Hello, it's Ed Gamble here from the Off Menu Podcast.

Speaker 4 Hello, it's James Acaster here from the Off Menu Podcast.

Speaker 5 And before the episode starts, we'd like to talk to you about All Our Relations, a non-profit co-founded by your friend of mine, comedian Jen Brister, and Georgia Takax.

Speaker 10 Yes, All Our Relations was originally started to support 15 families in Gaza when the genocide started, but now supports 21 families and funds several mutual aid projects, including two seven-day food kitchens and two mobile food parcel delivery schemes, as well, feeding hundreds of families in Gaza every single day.

Speaker 10 They've created an absolutely amazing thing.

Speaker 13 And we feel like, you know, it's the off-menu podcast.

Speaker 10 We talk about food and we are very lucky to eat wonderful food and have access to absolutely brilliant food all of the time.

Speaker 19 And I think we need to talk about people who have access to no food, James.

Speaker 5 Absolutely.

Speaker 4 So if people would like to donate, please go to allourrelations.co.uk or look at the links in Jen Brister's bio on Instagram.

Speaker 23 Every penny raised goes to supporting people in Gaza.

Speaker 8 Thank you so much and enjoy the episode.

Speaker 26 Did you see the game last night? Of course you did because you used Instacart to do your grocery restock. Plus you got snacks for the game, all without missing a single play.

Speaker 26 And that's on multitasking. So we're not saying that Instacart is a hack for game day, but it might be the ultimate play this football season.
Enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders.

Speaker 26 Service fees apply. For three orders in 14 days.
Excludes restaurants.

Speaker 27 Instacart, we're here.

Speaker 12 Well, James, it's the end of 2020 and what a great year it's been.

Speaker 25 Everyone's flourished.

Speaker 29 The news has all been amazing.

Speaker 28 What a wonderful year we've had.

Speaker 25 So we thought here off menu in the dream restaurant, we'd round out a fantastic year by playing a best of episode.

Speaker 33 Why not?

Speaker 4 It has been, as you say, a fantastic year. I mean, the only thing that has struggled this year is podcasts, hasn't it? It's been very difficult to make podcasts in 2020 for some reason.

Speaker 4 But we managed to put out 46 episodes and we've got some absolute humdingers when it comes to clips in this.

Speaker 6 I can't wait to just relive a little trip down memory lane, Ed.

Speaker 37 Memory Lane.

Speaker 1 Oh, Memory Lane.

Speaker 29 There's so many brilliant clips.

Speaker 28 It's more like Memory High Street.

Speaker 38 Oh, it's Memory Boulevard.

Speaker 39 Memory Boulevard, let me say, the High Street, another thing that's really flourished this year.

Speaker 4 Ah, that's gone from strength to strength.

Speaker 22 God bless

Speaker 42 more at the higher street.

Speaker 44 It's gone even higher than you ever thought possible.

Speaker 45 I thought that high street couldn't get any higher, but it got even higher.

Speaker 46 It's even higher than Chee Chin Chong.

Speaker 14 An excellent reference. Yeah,

Speaker 25 and it's been a great year for Cheech and Chong as well, of course.

Speaker 4 Yeah, congrats to Cheech and Chong if you're listening, boys.

Speaker 29 Well, we start this year's best of with another batch of food and drink inventions. That's how we started last year's best of, and let's do it again.

Speaker 25 Our guests, James, are food innovators.

Speaker 49 Should we hear from some of our food innovators?

Speaker 4 Yes, here's some of the wonderful recipes that our guests came up with themselves. They think outside the box and in your mouth.

Speaker 25 We've got Catherine Ryan, David O'Doherty, Reggie Watts, Simon Rogan, and Joe brand to hear from take it away guys

Speaker 51 let's say then i would have like a don julio white tequila lime and soda oh lovely that's really nice i don't like yellow tequila but i like white right sounds great i quite like one of those now

Speaker 51 quite like a tequila lime and soda and you can have a little um chili in it as well that's really nice like get a green chili and a green lime.

Speaker 62 Oh,

Speaker 59 I love this.

Speaker 63 There's a certain place that you've had this, or do you make them yourself at home?

Speaker 64 Oh, I make them at home.

Speaker 51 I have like a whole drinks fridge and it is popping.

Speaker 67 But you can get it anywhere.

Speaker 68 Hold on, you got a drinks fridge.

Speaker 69 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 68 Talk about the drinks fridge, please.

Speaker 48 Yeah, I want to.

Speaker 48 My mind's been open to... My fridge is like normal size.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 25 I've seen a lot of people with some pretty impressive fridges recently.

Speaker 70 My fridge.

Speaker 54 I have.

Speaker 11 I've seen like people doing like tours of their houses and showing like their fridge and stuff.

Speaker 48 Who? There was a car that one of the Kardashians did it recently.

Speaker 72 Oh yeah.

Speaker 71 Did like a walkthrough of like, was it Kim Kardashian did a thing where she showed her fridge and it was just full of drinks and everyone was like, oh she doesn't eat food.

Speaker 48 Was she showing that she just has drinks and then she's like, oh no, that's not my food fridge.

Speaker 2 And then she's got just got like a walk-in wardrobe sized fridge.

Speaker 55 Yeah.

Speaker 76 Probably like she works in a restaurant.

Speaker 1 That's my dream. Yeah.

Speaker 77 It's exactly like a restaurant walk-in fridge.

Speaker 79 It's a really healthy fridge.

Speaker 80 You're a big admirer of the Kardashians, right?

Speaker 67 I mean, I admire anyone that everybody else hates. Yeah.

Speaker 51 And then I just think they're not hurting anyone really. Nobody really needs to be a billionaire.
Fine. They're a bit vacuous, fine.

Speaker 84 But I like to relax.

Speaker 51 And when I watch the Kardashians, I see big, delicious salads, nice green teas and juices. I see tasteful interiors.

Speaker 51 I always am kind of fascinated by how their makeup's going to be and how their hair is going to be and what they're going to be wearing. And they're always doing things that look like beautiful.

Speaker 51 And there's some like,

Speaker 51 I don't know, aesthetic satisfaction out of that. The same way, I don't know, people probably get satisfaction out of watching a sport.

Speaker 62 Yeah.

Speaker 51 I don't tell people, oh, what's it matter?

Speaker 56 It's only a game.

Speaker 51 It's like, no, you like watching football and screaming at the telly. So do that.

Speaker 67 And then I really like seeing how Courtney's like done her wallpaper.

Speaker 59 I like it.

Speaker 64 Kardashians are great. So I don't have a fridge like that.

Speaker 48 That's my dream, like to have a huge fridge.

Speaker 81 Yeah, I'd like, although I used to work in kitchens and the walking fridge would never be very pleasant.

Speaker 48 No, because they'd lock you in it instead.

Speaker 23 No, we would lock each other in the fridge and the freezer, yeah.

Speaker 80 Really, your dream is that you get someone in the walk-in freezer, and then you lock that because you can't open that from the inside.

Speaker 81 Yeah. Oh, God.

Speaker 91 And then they'd be like, oh, God, please.

Speaker 59 And that was a lot of fun.

Speaker 94 But no, the fridge was just...

Speaker 57 just smelly.

Speaker 42 Miss, it literally smells in here or whatever.

Speaker 95 Literally stinks in here.

Speaker 94 Yeah, that's what I'd say when I was in the walking fridge.

Speaker 79 But you've got a drinks fridge and you've got a food fridge you've got several fridges see that's good that's I'd like that it just feels very adult to be like hello welcome to my home let's go over to the drinks fridge and like what would you like oh there's no wine left again whoops

Speaker 54 are we going with the tequila lime and soda with a bit of chili yeah that's the most um sounds delicious interesting refreshing light and it gets you fucked up is there like a cocktail name for it or is it just tequila lime and soda i think it's tequila lime and soda well you can name it here officially and people will listen to you as well because we've just had word that Greg Davis, who's a previous episode, in his local curry house, he complained on the podcast that they've taken lime pickle off the normal condiments at the beginning

Speaker 18 and you have to ask for it.

Speaker 99 And he texted me the other day to say he went in there and they've heard the podcast and they've now put lime pickle back on the menu and they call it Greg's pickle.

Speaker 88 Oh, it says Greg's pickle on the menu.

Speaker 42 That's right. So if you want to name that cocktail now, some menus may take it up.

Speaker 58 Yeah.

Speaker 102 Oh, well, what would you call it?

Speaker 51 Well, I think the reason that I drink it, so this might help with the name and perhaps we can workshop, is that I believe that like really clean white tequila doesn't give you a hangover.

Speaker 84 Okay.

Speaker 51 And like then soda isn't, it doesn't have like that many calories.

Speaker 51 And then lime's nice. It's spicy.
I don't know.

Speaker 48 I was going to say like something like good morning, but then that suggests you should drink it in the morning.

Speaker 22 Yeah, perfect.

Speaker 62 Yeah.

Speaker 105 yeah the good morning the good good morning is a great name

Speaker 108 good morning the good morning is a great go for it so what's your yeah what's your main course so it's uh it's a it's a large ironware french influenced brightly coloured pot

Speaker 23 and uh it

Speaker 108 it's chicken and all the veg it's that one right and it's you you throw it in the oven and you can leave it in for two hours but you know what leave it in for four It'll be even more falling off the bone.

Speaker 108 And this is the kind of, I'm like, you know the way Messi, Lionel Messi in football? Probably the coach doesn't tell him what to do. Just goes out, go out there and do your stuff.

Speaker 62 Like, I'm like,

Speaker 9 you are wasting that on me and Ed.

Speaker 31 You know, you know, Messi, guys.

Speaker 43 I thought you were referring to Mr. Messi from the Mr.
Man.

Speaker 108 He is the so he's the most talented footballer in the, there's this game called football.

Speaker 108 How far back do you go?

Speaker 108 He's an instinctual player and I am an instinctual chef. But where he is very good, I am very bad.
So I fire things in.

Speaker 73 So we've got the La Cruz.

Speaker 108 Ah, we've got the ironware pot and we sear, we do the searing where you put it on the hob with oil in it and sear the chicken like full chicken we're talking here and then the problem is i don't remember what i did i don't remember the order i remember i put various veggies in and potatoes and popped the lid on and put it in the oven for three hours a bit of stock some uh red wine uh a selection handfuls of various

Speaker 108 things from the herb garden, but I don't remember what I did and I don't remember what I put up the chickens asshole I don't remember anything about it and I've been chasing that dream for three years now trying slight variations on it and every single time it comes out like

Speaker 108 like boiled you know like children in the second world war who had to move out of London and live in the countryside it's sort of like the food that they would eat that's what it always turns out as where the carrots are hard even though they've cooked them for five hours, and the fucking chicken is just like, you know, someone has just put it in a tumble dryer and let it just fall around on itself for a week.

Speaker 11 I love that your approach to cooking, you're from a jazz dynasty.

Speaker 12 You take a jazz approach to cooking as well.

Speaker 62 Yeah.

Speaker 31 Yeah, I try to, but I am

Speaker 108 missing the key element of jazz, which is to be highly musical.

Speaker 108 Like, you know, you know, the way they say about jazz, it's, it's the notes you don't play that are more important than the notes you play.

Speaker 108 Well, the ingredients you don't use and the ingredients you use, they're all bad from

Speaker 113 me.

Speaker 108 But I'll still keep going.

Speaker 126 I'll still keep trying.

Speaker 108 I'll try to chase that dream.

Speaker 74 And that is what I would like the genie

Speaker 108 to make for me.

Speaker 34 Does the dish have a name?

Speaker 127 Is it Coco Van?

Speaker 84 It must be Coco Van, right?

Speaker 108 Yeah, it's yeah, but like, what is Coco Van? It's

Speaker 108 you put stock, you put red wine.

Speaker 31 You can put white wine as well.

Speaker 108 I've tried it with that. Maybe I put in white wine.
And what temperature do you put it in at 170? Do you put it at 130? Do you leave it in for four hours? I don't know. And I can't.

Speaker 108 So it's Coco David is what we'll call it.

Speaker 62 Right, Coco.

Speaker 6 Amazing. Absolutely amazing.

Speaker 34 Your name is David O.

Speaker 9 Docherty, and you call it Coco David.

Speaker 23 Absolutely incredible.

Speaker 129 Like, I like a starter to be flavorful and small.

Speaker 129 So I would say, because sometimes we get starters and really they're just, it's a meal.

Speaker 130 Right. It's like a meal before a meal.

Speaker 23 That's why I like starters.

Speaker 55 Well, okay.

Speaker 92 That's why you love meal.

Speaker 133 I'm like, I'm taking in another meal.

Speaker 134 Oh, I see, I see.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but then you're probably like playing soccer for like six hours afterwards.

Speaker 24 You know me, Reggie.

Speaker 133 I'm always playing soccer for six hours directly after a meal.

Speaker 136 I've been professional soccer players play soccer for six hours.

Speaker 94 And they certainly wouldn't do it after they've eaten.

Speaker 65 Oh, my God.

Speaker 62 Yeah.

Speaker 129 I would say something on like a little Christini or something, like a little flavorful thing. I don't know what it would be, but

Speaker 62 because...

Speaker 129 You know, starters are weird. It's a non-starter.

Speaker 42 Why do they make you feel weird?

Speaker 129 Well, because I know that I should probably just order a meal.

Speaker 129 I know when I do a starter, I like the idea of it. It's really cozy.
You're with your friends. And you're like, maybe we could get it for the table.

Speaker 129 But I eat it and then I'm kind of already full.

Speaker 131 And then I'm like, ah, now I have a meal coming. And then I have to pretend like I'm not full for the meal.

Speaker 23 And, you know, that's tough. That's a lot of acting.

Speaker 48 How do you pretend to not be full?

Speaker 74 What's the sort of.

Speaker 18 You just go like, well, I got to eat this.

Speaker 138 That's the reality.

Speaker 42 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 82 I mean, sometimes we hit, you know, here in LA, you might be going for a meal with a casting director and you go, right, I've got to pretend to be not full.

Speaker 42 And then at the end, go, just so you know, I was full for that whole meal.

Speaker 136 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 131 And they'll be like, oh, my gosh, the role is yours.

Speaker 98 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 62 Yes.

Speaker 79 Is it Rye?

Speaker 112 Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 82 I think that's how you have to do it. You just have to eat it.

Speaker 129 You just have to be like, man, this is my first meal. I didn't have a starter.

Speaker 62 Yeah, this is good.

Speaker 130 Oh, whoa, boy, I can't believe this.

Speaker 138 You know, a lot of that.

Speaker 130 Put to yourself, maybe.

Speaker 21 Or maybe, mm, look at that.

Speaker 129 Oh, yeah, and then commenting on the color, the heat, whatever, the temperature. It all helps.

Speaker 80 If you want to, you can just pass on the starter.

Speaker 94 We've had guests pass on the starter.

Speaker 139 I'm going to pass.

Speaker 23 I'm going to pass.

Speaker 94 Ed will be upset because he's a starter boy and he loves starters.

Speaker 79 It's such a waste.

Speaker 94 This is his favourite course.

Speaker 141 Even when you were circling around Crostini, I was like, that's too small.

Speaker 62 Oh.

Speaker 93 I thought you... What's a Crostino?

Speaker 74 Like a little crispy bread thing.

Speaker 116 You know, like...

Speaker 129 Tiny, thin, crispy bread, and then they put things on it.

Speaker 142 And they put put like a tapanard on there or something.

Speaker 131 Yeah, I'll put like tapenard or a goose.

Speaker 68 If you want, I can just give you the crostini, and that's it.

Speaker 14 Man, maybe I'd do

Speaker 129 maybe I'd do a yeah, maybe I'd do a crostini with um a pureed uh air sauce.

Speaker 62 Yeah,

Speaker 22 yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't fill up on air, though.

Speaker 144 No, no, no, no, I won't fill up on air sauce.

Speaker 130 No, air sauce for sure.

Speaker 42 Air sauce sounds like an insult.

Speaker 131 Hey, get out of here, you air sauce.

Speaker 112 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 129 It's like, I don't know what that is, but the way you said it sounds like it's not supposed to be favourable.

Speaker 147 Sort of had a little bit of a little bit of a deviation away from gin and tonic.

Speaker 45 It was called the floor clearer.

Speaker 146 So if you picture, we're finishing the work, going after work, or if I'm off on a night, just go and sit at the bar.

Speaker 148 And it's a pint, pint glass.

Speaker 23 Lovely.

Speaker 149 Quadruple gin in there. Right.

Speaker 23 Eight ice cubes, and then just fill it up with a really spicy, hot, fiery ginger beer.

Speaker 21 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 146 And Angostira bitters.

Speaker 45 Yes. So basically, the effect was:

Speaker 146 as I drank more of this drink and went on to the next one, I got louder and louder, and the floor cleared.

Speaker 23 And that was it. We called it the floor clearer.

Speaker 23 Quite handy at closing time, obviously, because no one left.

Speaker 118 Anyone out anymore.

Speaker 147 But then she went back to gin.

Speaker 153 I don't drink it as bad as what I used to.

Speaker 147 Very sort of regulated now.

Speaker 45 Tanquare is probably the gin of my choice.

Speaker 146 Drink too much of it, the W goes on the front of it instead of tea.

Speaker 144 You sure, yeah.

Speaker 48 But yeah, that's my drink.

Speaker 29 I think any drink that starts with it has to be in a pint glass.

Speaker 65 Yeah, it's gonna be.

Speaker 55 Yeah, I've tried it.

Speaker 79 Take a pint glass.

Speaker 73 And I've tried taking that, you know, to other pubs.

Speaker 35 You tried to ask people to make it to make it, but then realise it costs 25 quid

Speaker 134 to actually drink it.

Speaker 19 I just thought, God.

Speaker 95 Were these costing 25 quid every time?

Speaker 55 No wonder we were crap at it.

Speaker 136 No wonder wonder we were shit.

Speaker 4 It's a huge loss every single day.

Speaker 62 I can't figure out what sits.

Speaker 55 I love the reason you won't get it in another pub is not is because of the price, not because you have to go get a pine glass, quadruple gin. Quadruple gin.

Speaker 41 Well, every time I did it, did it

Speaker 81 explain it, I did get a few raised eyebrows.

Speaker 156 Yeah, the quadruple gin was probably the first

Speaker 156 big sort of obstacle to

Speaker 93 navigate for people actually pouring you wines like, no, don't be so stupid.

Speaker 18 Especially going in there with a a tray of Dauphin ones.

Speaker 33 What side dish are you going to choose to go with?

Speaker 62 This is the smorgasbord?

Speaker 23 There's quite a lot going on already.

Speaker 158 Absolutely.

Speaker 159 Well, I would have sort of four or five different types of coleslaw. Is that allowed?

Speaker 73 Because I love that as well.

Speaker 1 I didn't know there were four or five different types of coleslaw.

Speaker 76 If you could please take us through them, Jo.

Speaker 78 Yes, okay.

Speaker 159 Well, there's the normal one, okay, where you just have like chopped up cabbage, onions, grated carrot with mayonnaise, okay,

Speaker 62 right?

Speaker 159 And then there's a type of coleslaw that my mum used to make when we were kids, which had all that in it, but it also had grated cheese.

Speaker 159 And instead of having mayonnaise, because we didn't have that in the 1960s, I don't know if you know that, we had something called salad cream.

Speaker 159 which everyone on telly who's over the age of 60 keeps blaring on about saying is great. And everyone else who's under the age of 35 just turns their nose up and go, oh my God, it sounds appalling.

Speaker 79 And it's great because I'm old.

Speaker 158 And so I would have that.

Speaker 159 I would have salad cream coleslaw instead of mayonnaise coleslaw.

Speaker 30 But you've also got mayonnaise coleslaw as well, right?

Speaker 124 Yes.

Speaker 159 Okay, and then you would have a type of coleslaw which has got all that in and you just add sort of extra bits in that you feel like doing.

Speaker 159 So like a bit of raw cauliflower or, you know, stuff that people would go, I think you'll find that's not in traditional coleslaw.

Speaker 23 Well, once on this podcast, every episode of this podcast, we have a secret ingredient that we don't like.

Speaker 35 If the guest says they get chucked out of the restaurant.

Speaker 19 Is it coleslaw?

Speaker 62 Well, one, no,

Speaker 62 luckily for you, no, it's not.

Speaker 107 But like one episode, it was coleslaw if it's got raisins in it.

Speaker 69 Oh.

Speaker 137 Because we did not allow that.

Speaker 35 Where do you stand on raisins in coleslaw?

Speaker 159 Totally anti-raisin. I think it's the equivalent of having pineapple on a pizza.

Speaker 44 Yeah, completely agree.

Speaker 107 I like that.

Speaker 160 You don't.

Speaker 23 I like pineapple on pizza.

Speaker 50 Oh, James. James.

Speaker 159 I feel depressed now.

Speaker 29 I do.

Speaker 1 Joe feels depressed about your food choice.

Speaker 61 And this is a lady who is currently halfway through listing five different types of coleslaw for her side side dish yeah that's who we're dealing with i mean i would be offended if this wasn't the most disgusting menu we've ever had

Speaker 159 well that's good that you're not offended

Speaker 159 see what i can't believe is is that i can't believe that

Speaker 159 People spend so much time thinking about and knowing about food and showing their food that they've just eaten online.

Speaker 158 That to me is a really disturbed behaviour.

Speaker 162 That's my life. Because

Speaker 159 I couldn't give a shit what someone's just had for their dinner. Honestly, I really couldn't.
And the more expensive and posher, the worse, the more angry I get, to be honest.

Speaker 164 And I just think, eat it and enjoy it.

Speaker 159 We don't care what you're eating.

Speaker 158 Go away and just eat it yourself and put a cloth over it.

Speaker 62 I think you would be surprised, joe brand if you sat down one evening and you had multiple portions of different coleslaw if you took a photo of that and shared it with the public i think people would care i think people would be like what what is she doing she's got five different types of coleslaw and she's sitting down to eat them all right i'm going to put that on my instagram and see what happens then i'll let you know how many likes it got oh james it's up to four

Speaker 168 oh i think it would go through the roof and you'd say to people based on just the photo, tell me which, which is which, which coleslaw I've got here, what types I've got.

Speaker 4 People would be throwing in suggestions, trying to guess which one's the salad cream.

Speaker 11 Now, I've got to say, we're only three deep in the coleslaw, though.

Speaker 15 I want to make sure we get to all five because we've got normal coleslaw, we've got salad cream and cheese coleslaw, and we've got one that is both of those, but with bits of cauliflower in.

Speaker 117 So, yes, okay.

Speaker 159 And then also, I would get the one that

Speaker 159 you have like fermented, one made with fermented cabbage,

Speaker 159 the one you get in Germany.

Speaker 160 What's that called?

Speaker 117 Like sauerkraut.

Speaker 159 Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 73 Sauerkraut, sauerkraut coleslaw.

Speaker 159 So basically, you ferment everything to the degree that the sauerkraut's fermented and just make a coleslaw out of that, really.

Speaker 160 Nice.

Speaker 29 That's good for the stomach as well, fermented things.

Speaker 25 Is it?

Speaker 85 Yeah, it is, yeah.

Speaker 159 It's a bit late for me on that front, isn't it, really?

Speaker 29 Anyway, what's the final, the final coleslaw, Joe?

Speaker 43 Not a question I ever thought I'd ask at this point.

Speaker 163 Yeah, the final coleslaw.

Speaker 159 It is just what you might feel like putting in a coleslaw

Speaker 159 on any given day when you

Speaker 2 the third one was coleslaw, but whatever you want to put on it.

Speaker 159 Yes, but I the third one's sensible things, and the fifth one is not sensible.

Speaker 145 Okay, so you hear the distant sound of a curly whirly being open.

Speaker 159 Well, I don't think quite that bad but maybe like some chopped up linda mccartney veggie sausages or you know um a bird's eye potato waffle chopped up and put in it or you know anything you felt like on the day a bit of rhubarb whatever

Speaker 4 whoa that coleslaw sounded insane Yes, no.

Speaker 29 Our guests have often brought their own surprise special guests to the dream restaurant, James.

Speaker 25 It's not just them.

Speaker 16 They often...

Speaker 22 I'm going to let you in on a secret.

Speaker 48 Sometimes they're not special guests.

Speaker 25 It's just them doing some characters.

Speaker 4 Well, I don't know, Ed, because as you know, I always record our podcast with my eyes closed because I want to experience it like the listener does.

Speaker 28 That's correct, but I have my eyes very much open.

Speaker 25 Here's the way I do podcasting. I open my eyes, I open my ears, and I often listen back to them.
James, not so much.

Speaker 34 Close my eyes, close my ears, never listen to them.

Speaker 29 So let's hear from some of the characters that our guests have performed as.

Speaker 25 We think that there's definite movie franchises in some of these characters.

Speaker 22 And, James, this year, I wrote a whole new stand-up act.

Speaker 34 You did write a whole new stand-up act.

Speaker 6 My favourite thing ever.

Speaker 4 I tell you what, my only appearance in that clip is me laughing my head off because I love Edwin Coffey.

Speaker 39 Well, apart from Edwin Coffee, let's hear from Louis Theroux, Emily V.

Speaker 171 Gordon, Anthony Head, Armando Ianucci, Louis Theroux again, and then me.

Speaker 34 AKA, BBQ Mam, The Bereavster, Shepi the Shepherd, The Dying pigeon, the Swedish lawyer, and the coffee comedian, Edwin Coffey.

Speaker 129 If you travel in the south, places like Oklahoma and Texas, they have these barbecue shacks where

Speaker 173 they've got, and they look like they're big drums. Some of them might even be converted oil drums.
And I guess they steam roast these, I guess, hogs.

Speaker 174 Or maybe it's beef. I don't even know what kind of meat it is.

Speaker 173 And sometimes they go, that's been in there for 16 hours.

Speaker 23 Like, this is very tender.

Speaker 173 That's been in there for 16 hours.

Speaker 139 Presumably on quite a low heat.

Speaker 173 And

Speaker 173 we got wood chips in there, tobacco flakes, and

Speaker 173 some herbs and seasoning.

Speaker 154 Herbs, they say, don't they?

Speaker 62 I was like, what's the secret?

Speaker 173 Like, secret is love, Louie.

Speaker 11 And do they always say Louie, or is that just when you're there?

Speaker 93 No, they don't always say Louis.

Speaker 173 I just put that in there. And then they...

Speaker 62 The secret is love.

Speaker 173 secret ingredient is love.

Speaker 9 They should bring them in when someone dies of a broken heart.

Speaker 62 Yeah, they should.

Speaker 9 Those barbecue guys can save some lives in the hospital.

Speaker 173 If you knew how many goldfish we've saved, you'd be amazed.

Speaker 104 We're getting calls all the time.

Speaker 173 And the time circus is in.

Speaker 62 When fairgrounds are in town, we get run off our feet.

Speaker 173 It's crazy. Seeing those little choppers going.

Speaker 95 How do you, sorry,

Speaker 9 Texan barbecue man, I'm just wondering how you save the goldfish.

Speaker 23 When they bring the goldfish into you on death's door, how do you save them?

Speaker 46 We just get,

Speaker 173 I think, you know, we get itty-bitty bits of barbecued beef or pork, and we just drop them into the... You can't, you gotta be careful.
You put too much in.

Speaker 173 Fish can overeat.

Speaker 113 I don't have to use it.

Speaker 62 And they die.

Speaker 173 The commonest way for a fish to die is...

Speaker 175 overconsumption of anything, not just barbecue.

Speaker 173 If you put feed it, I've seen it my own fish. Honest to God, this is me Louis now talking.

Speaker 113 It exploded.

Speaker 173 We had a fish explode on us once.

Speaker 40 It exploded.

Speaker 62 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Too much bread before it's made.

Speaker 23 Well, we only think that that's what happened.

Speaker 173 But we know that when we went on holiday, there were three fish.

Speaker 173 And we tasked someone with... feeding it every day and I think they overdid it and when we came back there were two fish and then tiny little bits of fish.
Oh it died of a broken heart.

Speaker 174 It exploded from a broken heart.

Speaker 173 It didn't. It exploded from eating too much.

Speaker 14 So you can't overfeed it, but just a little bit, and then it tastes the love, and then it can turn it around like that.

Speaker 173 If you ever have a loved one who's lost his partner or her partner, help me, soulmate.

Speaker 173 Only prescription I know is one of my sandwiches.

Speaker 177 I will say when I was a barista when I was 16, which is like quite some time ago, and I was a barista in a hospital.

Speaker 177 I worked at like a coffee stand, and it would just be like bereaved old men who were like, just give me coffee.

Speaker 178 I don't want anything fancy.

Speaker 64 Like they were like,

Speaker 177 because they would be like latte and all this shit on the menu and they would be like, why are you doing this to me?

Speaker 152 So I just

Speaker 178 mostly missed like regular ass coffee.

Speaker 177 But I would make a thing for myself that was like a combination of every flavored syrup that was available to me.

Speaker 83 And I called it the Milky Way.

Speaker 178 Just a 16-year-old just drinking every flavored syrup.

Speaker 69 All the syrups.

Speaker 143 And you'll just drink all the syrups with the coffee.

Speaker 178 A little tiny bit of coffee. Yeah.

Speaker 62 What the hell was wrong with me? Yeah.

Speaker 94 Also, I think the character of the bereaved man who has to order a complicated coffee is one of my favorite characters we've had on the podcast.

Speaker 55 That's great.

Speaker 180 It's a real, that's a sketch that really needs to see the light of day properly.

Speaker 83 And I was supposed to push the fancy drinks on them and I would just be like, I'm so sorry.

Speaker 95 I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 62 No!

Speaker 65 No, you really can't.

Speaker 93 I don't have a choice anymore, please.

Speaker 178 A lot of men who's like also masculinity were threatened by

Speaker 177 options. And this was when I was 16, so it literally was like, this is like 1995, 96.

Speaker 55 This is a long time.

Speaker 32 This is at the initial sort of coffee, the coffee crate.

Speaker 177 Before Starbucks really took over as like a thing.

Speaker 62 Yeah.

Speaker 68 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 155 So people were just getting used to

Speaker 177 it. Or not even slightly getting used to it yeah yeah

Speaker 181 oh what a what a character

Speaker 64 can't get it out my head oh bereaved barista i didn't know

Speaker 183 the bereavester the bereaves you are a bereaved you are a bereaved star

Speaker 167 you won

Speaker 184 do you is food part of uh part of your life would you say you enjoy it i do definitely enjoy it um yes i've been all over the place and what's quite interesting is is that we over

Speaker 185 during my life, England has gone from

Speaker 186 English cooking to pretty much everybody's cooking.

Speaker 185 It's adapted very well, I think, to absorb

Speaker 151 palates from around the world. But

Speaker 184 yeah, no, it used to be very...

Speaker 79 Shepherd's Boy and

Speaker 184 meat and two veg and all that. And that was it.

Speaker 69 And it was like, no, we can actually...

Speaker 14 And cream spinach, of course.

Speaker 32 You can't forget the cream spinach.

Speaker 42 I want to delve it more into the character you're just just playing.

Speaker 63 Because I like the character.

Speaker 54 I like

Speaker 54 it.

Speaker 119 Is it the character who said Shepherd's Pie?

Speaker 186 Shepherd's Psychiatry.

Speaker 79 Yes.

Speaker 187 Is the character called Shepherd's Pie?

Speaker 185 I'll see if I can invent him.

Speaker 62 Yeah.

Speaker 63 I like the character.

Speaker 88 What would the character's name be?

Speaker 69 Well, Shepherd.

Speaker 140 Shepherd?

Speaker 21 Shepherd. Shepard Spy.

Speaker 44 Shepherd Spy.

Speaker 65 Shepherd.

Speaker 54 Shepherd's Spy.

Speaker 63 What's Shepherd's Pie's job?

Speaker 188 Is it a Shepherd?

Speaker 19 Maybe he's a night.

Speaker 62 Maybe he's a shepherd, yeah.

Speaker 65 Maybe, yeah.

Speaker 93 Is it a shepherd? Did he just eat shepherd's pie?

Speaker 187 It's called shepherd's pie.

Speaker 81 You've got to marry a food.

Speaker 81 What food are you going to marry?

Speaker 82 It can be a whole dish or it can be an individual ingredient like salt,

Speaker 80 but you have to marry it.

Speaker 99 I have to marry it.

Speaker 189 Yes. Not marinade it.

Speaker 152 No.

Speaker 151 Very good.

Speaker 119 I think it would have to be that pigeon soap.

Speaker 190 Yes. Because it was delightful.

Speaker 157 And you could look at it.

Speaker 119 And it will bring back memories of my actual wife.

Speaker 89 You've had to divorce for the sake of the fun food, Marion.

Speaker 62 Yeah.

Speaker 55 Yeah, yeah. Sorry.

Speaker 191 But yeah, I was doing this podcast and I signed the contract.

Speaker 119 I didn't read the contract.

Speaker 119 And it does say I have to carry out all the ideas we get.

Speaker 186 They do have to be.

Speaker 111 Apparently, it's a law thing.

Speaker 79 Yeah, so...

Speaker 102 But I think I can then divorce the pigeon soup and then we can remarry.

Speaker 79 I think anyway, it'll all be fine. It'll be fine.

Speaker 63 Would you name the pigeon soup after your wife so it makes you feel more like she's around still?

Speaker 123 No, no, no.

Speaker 119 I think I think I would call it pigeon soup.

Speaker 79 Yeah, you're just.

Speaker 189 I mean, it's it is, you know, it is what it is.

Speaker 58 People boarded pigeon soup.

Speaker 68 Who of your friend do you think any of your friends would be quite accepting of the fact you're magic you're married to a bowl of pigeon soup?

Speaker 14 Um n n n no.

Speaker 70 No.

Speaker 54 No. No.

Speaker 148 Everyone would be worried about you.

Speaker 186 Everyone would be um everyone would be reporting me to the police.

Speaker 62 Yeah, fair enough.

Speaker 119 Because they'd be saying his wife has disappeared and there's just this pigeon soup in the house now.

Speaker 23 I think something's...

Speaker 93 He's erased it so it's pirate over the top.

Speaker 43 He's sat in so it's like in a jacuzzi. Yeah.

Speaker 79 He sort of puts it on the telly so it's just lying there on the telly looking at me.

Speaker 54 Probably dead beak.

Speaker 119 Brushing my teeth. There it is, kind of there in the mirror.

Speaker 54 She's

Speaker 79 beak open as if to say, can I have some of that

Speaker 62 toothpaste?

Speaker 94 Well, it'd be a fun joke if you can brush my teeth if I haven't got any teeth and dead pigeon.

Speaker 54 Oh, yeah. What fun!

Speaker 54 What fun?

Speaker 157 I mean, I know we'd probably have to move on.

Speaker 68 Obviously, for me, the most fun bit is imagine that our maddo's married to a bowl of pigeons.

Speaker 9 I was trying to think of another animal that you could make a vegetable, and then my first thought was going to be horse.

Speaker 54 And I was like, Well, we don't eat that anyway.

Speaker 173 Well, they do in France, don't they?

Speaker 9 And in those lasagna's that time, remember that?

Speaker 22 Trember for a while when that was the big story in England?

Speaker 173 If you remember, and I feel bad mentioning it,

Speaker 62 some of the meatballs were made from horse work. Were they? I think they were so good.

Speaker 55 He knows he's eating them.

Speaker 62 Run that past your legal team before you put that on air.

Speaker 31 You will get sued by a huge Scandinavian company.

Speaker 61 Who's this now?

Speaker 163 It's another character, the Swedish lawyer.

Speaker 173 I've spent many years building building my brand only to have it trampled on by a podcast, making false allegations. Oh, geez.

Speaker 111 We would like to ask you, Swedish lawyer.

Speaker 94 We'd like to ask you what is in your meatballs then.

Speaker 9 If you claim there's no horse in these meatballs, you tell us what's in them.

Speaker 173 They're purely made of vegetables, funny should ask.

Speaker 73 We don't advertise it.

Speaker 173 Oh, so I'm losing it.

Speaker 78 I'm losing it.

Speaker 73 I had it dialed in.

Speaker 193 You started going Irish.

Speaker 125 It was the idea.

Speaker 11 It was the advertisement the word that made you lose it there. You really slid off there.

Speaker 173 I was listening to Desert Island Discs this morning and they had a Swedish guy on there. He was the head secretary general of NATO.

Speaker 194 He sounded a bit Irish, so maybe I'm all right.

Speaker 38 This week, the secret ingredient is mocha.

Speaker 55 A mocha.

Speaker 37 A mocha.

Speaker 144 Now, you're okay with mocha, aren't you?

Speaker 32 I love a mocha.

Speaker 144 Not me.

Speaker 89 I mean, I don't drink coffee anyway. Yeah.

Speaker 92 But when I did, I was like, I either want a coffee or want a hot chocolate.

Speaker 144 I don't want it.

Speaker 133 I'm one of those guys.

Speaker 144 when Starbucks came out and you were like

Speaker 127 I don't know what's all this mocha choke a lot of ya ya stuff.

Speaker 127 I don't want a frappuccino grand eventi mocha choca lada cinnamon roll motherfucking white chocolate whipped cream shit.

Speaker 121 I tell you what I want I want a fucking coffee That's what I was like that's you isn't it yeah I was like I was like a yeah

Speaker 127 a mid-2000s comedy routine you know what I want I don't want any of this shit to yourself of me up some sort of Halloween cinnamon gingerbread latte shit.

Speaker 197 No, you gotta bring your own cup.

Speaker 127 You're kidding me, these glarus cups, these metal cups? Say they're killing the animals with the paper cups. I dropped my glass cup the other day.
I broke a dog's head open.

Speaker 55 That is very funny.

Speaker 91 I'm laughing at that at face value.

Speaker 91 It's an actual funny comedy routine.

Speaker 41 I'm not even messing around.

Speaker 20 But we don't want Josh to say mocco. Josh says mocha.

Speaker 94 No, if Josh says mocker, then that's it.

Speaker 112 But like, I'm kind of hoping you'll say mocha, so I'm going to hear more of that guy.

Speaker 200 More of that character, more of that routine, please.

Speaker 120 What would that character think about when they write your name on the cup?

Speaker 127 Oh my god, are you kidding me? I mean, it's like the government. They're trying to find out who you are.
What's your name? And they never get the name right, do they?

Speaker 55 What does it say on the cup?

Speaker 65 Fucking asshole.

Speaker 127 Oh, so help me God if I pass a Starbucks.

Speaker 94 How big would you like your coffee?

Speaker 127 I want a coffee size. I don't want to have to get a bucket from the back.
And who the fuck is the woman on the logo?

Speaker 55 I think she's like a god, isn't she?

Speaker 191 Of some sort of fucking god.

Speaker 127 I don't know.

Speaker 199 She's like for Moby Dick.

Speaker 105 Moby Dick.

Speaker 21 I don't need a Moby Dick.

Speaker 127 The only dick in there is the guy behind the counter.

Speaker 21 Yeah, very good.

Speaker 11 Whoa, thanks, Edwin. You might want to slow down on the coffee, actually.

Speaker 25 It sounds like you've had one too many.

Speaker 197 I love Edwin Coffee.

Speaker 9 He's my favorite comedian.

Speaker 23 We've got to get him on the podcast, Ed. Do you think he'd do it?

Speaker 42 I know what he'd have for his drink.

Speaker 11 I genuinely think if we did a full-length episode with Edwin Coffey,

Speaker 25 I think it would get a tenth of the normal amount of listeners and they would all turn off halfway through.

Speaker 42 I think some people, and I'm pointing at myself, would listen to it for the first time.

Speaker 18 Well, it's not just blockbuster movie franchises, which Benito has written in the script and seems obsessed with the fact we can do a blockbuster movie franchise.

Speaker 37 Yeah, good on him.

Speaker 37 The podcast has also produced chart-topping music hits and i say the podcast has produced chart topping music hits i mean james a caster has produced chart topping music hits because you have been obsessed with songs this year james i found my calling and it's no secret any chance i get i'd like to sing a song and here i am dueting with paul f tompkins serenading voicine connerty and bringing josh groban in for a collab

Speaker 11 How were they cooked?

Speaker 74 Because, I mean, Brussels Sprouts, I think, still in the UK are absolutely reviled because they're like, they're boiled they stink.

Speaker 31 They were roasted and they were so good.

Speaker 175 And I've had them, I've had them boiled.

Speaker 202 And yeah, the smell is a lot stronger.

Speaker 79 Very bad.

Speaker 119 I can still eat them boiled.

Speaker 202 I think they're my favorite vegetable.

Speaker 186 But yeah, roasted Brussels sprouts are so good.

Speaker 62 Yeah.

Speaker 50 They're so good.

Speaker 22 And they're on like every menu here.

Speaker 175 Yeah, they've really, in the last, I'm going to say in the last five

Speaker 150 years, they've really made this crazy resurgence where they are on every single, every place you go has Brussels sprouts do you take credit for that at all oh yeah

Speaker 162 I mean

Speaker 54 you know I mean

Speaker 57 it's something that happened here and uh I'm here yeah yeah and

Speaker 62 I don't know it's

Speaker 61 not for me to say

Speaker 88 you've probably been putting in a good word here and there I mean

Speaker 31 I certainly when I have them I do make a point of saying I really like these and they're very good yeah

Speaker 198 yeah

Speaker 92 I say it the same way every time,

Speaker 119 which is how you establish a pattern.

Speaker 74 So it's easy for people to remember.

Speaker 14 Yeah.

Speaker 202 So by the time I'm saying to someone else,

Speaker 202 you know,

Speaker 16 I like these, these are very good.

Speaker 26 They don't realize they've heard it from me already.

Speaker 62 And they're like, yeah, I've heard that before.

Speaker 57 That's a saying, isn't it?

Speaker 101 Yeah.

Speaker 21 That's a saying. Yeah.

Speaker 82 I very like these and they're very good.

Speaker 73 Do you have the Brussels Sprout song here?

Speaker 37 Oh, yeah. we have one.

Speaker 128 Yeah, do you think it's the same one that you guys have?

Speaker 55 Oh, I think it must be.

Speaker 101 Do you guys want to start singing at the same time?

Speaker 101 Yeah, sure.

Speaker 14 Were you kind of standing?

Speaker 62 Three, two, one, B, R, U, S, S, E, L.

Speaker 62 Shut up.

Speaker 121 Shut up.

Speaker 136 I really like these. These are very good.

Speaker 62 Yeah, it's the same one.

Speaker 54 Yeah, very good.

Speaker 9 You said you you liked fizzy drinks earlier.

Speaker 89 Yeah. I'm going to crack open one of my own.

Speaker 101 Can you hear that?

Speaker 205 It gives me a feeling that noise.

Speaker 207 Like it's listed.

Speaker 206 Like it's like the smell of the cinema. I'm like, oh, someone's got a fizzy drink.

Speaker 109 Love it.

Speaker 94 This is my favourite fizzy drink.

Speaker 62 What is it?

Speaker 23 My girlfriend ordered it for me the other day as a surprise.

Speaker 172 I'm extremely excited.

Speaker 100 24 cans of it.

Speaker 31 Corston Press.

Speaker 9 Are you familiar with Corston Press?

Speaker 206 Yes, lovely.

Speaker 9 Rhubarb, Corston Press.

Speaker 140 Not rhubarb.

Speaker 79 No.

Speaker 9 Yep, the rhubarb one's my favourite.

Speaker 115 I hate rhubarb.

Speaker 65 Oh,

Speaker 208 when I die, bury me with Cost and Press.

Speaker 206 Cost and press is lovely. I like that.

Speaker 209 Rhubarb.

Speaker 206 My mum, my whole life, makes rhubarb crumble and then pretends that we've not had the conversation where I told her I don't like rhubarb. It's really, it's like it's really dark, actually.

Speaker 1 What have you got against rhubarb, mate?

Speaker 207 It tastes awful.

Speaker 207 It's like a bitch, point.

Speaker 211 It's disgusting.

Speaker 207 It has no bliss point.

Speaker 206 No one can enjoy that. It's a vegetable disguised as something.
It's horrible. I hate it.

Speaker 1 You are so suspicious of food dressing up as other things, yet again.

Speaker 124 Yes, it's awful.

Speaker 206 In a crumble, it is dressed up. It looks innocent.

Speaker 211 Oh, apple crumble. And then you get into this like

Speaker 126 swamp food.

Speaker 207 This disgusting bitter

Speaker 207 hellscape taste. You're just like, ah.

Speaker 22 Does it creep you out that it makes a sound when it grows?

Speaker 206 I knew there was something wrong with it.

Speaker 206 It makes a sound when it grows.

Speaker 116 So

Speaker 1 they force grow rhubarb.

Speaker 165 They force grow it.

Speaker 125 What a beauty. No wonder it's in a foul mood.

Speaker 49 They grow it in the dark.

Speaker 116 So it grows quicker because it's growing to try and find the light, but there is no light for it to find.

Speaker 71 And it's growing so quickly that if you listen to it

Speaker 1 when it's growing indoors, it's creaking. You can hear it.

Speaker 29 That's how quickly it's growing.

Speaker 206 That's the saddest thing I've heard in a while.

Speaker 206 I've got PMT and that has broken me. That is a horror story.

Speaker 193 I'm strolling down to the orchard via the rhubarb patch.

Speaker 124 Open a catacoster press, pour it down the hatch.

Speaker 213 I can't believe poor rhubarb.

Speaker 124 What a tale.

Speaker 206 And I'm judging it for not being a nice god. You don't, you never know people's stories.

Speaker 193 I like it.

Speaker 31 I'm drinking it down and I love it.

Speaker 206 I really like Course and Press. They could do it a few more bubbles.

Speaker 34 No, I like the fact there's not many bubbles in it and I love the rhubarb taste.

Speaker 165 When I die, bury me with Carsten Press.

Speaker 214 I once went to Andrew, Lord Andrew Lloyd Weber's house,

Speaker 65 and we were working on, we weren't working on anything together.

Speaker 214 We were just, he was a friend of a producer of mine, and we went over there and I got to play him a song.

Speaker 120 I was working on it, he got to play me a song. He was working on, I've been a musical theater guy since I was a kid.
I went to college music.

Speaker 22 So hanging out at Andrew Lloyd Weber's house, super fun and he was so nice.

Speaker 214 But, you know, know, at that level of wealth, it's just, you realize that it's just, it's like pouring us tap water.

Speaker 120 He pulled out a bottle and he says, oh,

Speaker 214 would you like a drink? And we said, sure.

Speaker 180 And he goes, we had a party last night. And this was a real star at the party.
It's drinking quite well right now.

Speaker 214 We're going, great.

Speaker 120 I mean, this is two o'clock in the afternoon, so we're thinking nice little lunch wine, maybe a rosé, perhaps, you know.

Speaker 214 And,

Speaker 214 you know, my friend Marius DeVries, who's a producer in London,

Speaker 81 I took a picture of the label. We're like, oh, yeah, that was a $5,000 bottle of wine.

Speaker 92 Wow.

Speaker 137 Hold that for lunch.

Speaker 65 Yeah. Wow.

Speaker 180 I love that you played each other's songs as well.

Speaker 90 Yeah, I'm working on this.

Speaker 180 What would you have done if you had played him a song that you worked on?

Speaker 42 And then he'd have been like, oh, that sounds great.

Speaker 198 I need to be drunker to hear that again.

Speaker 172 And then what if he sat down and went, okay, I'm just working on this.

Speaker 92 And he was just like, my name's Andro.

Speaker 215 Hello, hello, hello.

Speaker 37 I have feet and I have to go.

Speaker 94 And he just like did that.

Speaker 183 What would you do in response?

Speaker 199 You're in his house.

Speaker 200 You've just played him a song and he said it's brilliant and he loves it.

Speaker 183 And then he just does like the stupidest, worst song you've ever heard.

Speaker 199 How do you respond to that?

Speaker 152 Everybody, I am Andrew. Hello, hello, hello.
I have shoes that I have to go in.

Speaker 152 That would have been a lot of deal.

Speaker 91 Yeah.

Speaker 134 That's the next chorus is, I have shoes that I have.

Speaker 198 Yeah, yeah, I have shoes that I have to go.

Speaker 195 Because he's found out that feet are not enough and he have to leave.

Speaker 76 He needs to put something on the feet.

Speaker 189 I think he only writes for characters that don't wear shoes.

Speaker 138 Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 198 Cats.

Speaker 134 Yeah, sure.

Speaker 198 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just think Jesus.

Speaker 152 Yeah.

Speaker 152 Yeah.

Speaker 136 And the Phantom of the Opera in the beach blanket boogaloo.

Speaker 152 Oh, boy.

Speaker 214 That went that one directions I never expected.

Speaker 120 Yeah, yeah, right.

Speaker 214 Well, to answer your question, I would say, you know, that's really interesting, and I can't wait to see how it develops.

Speaker 198 Oh, yeah. Very good.
Yeah.

Speaker 112 We got a lot of people to tell us about the podcast.

Speaker 29 Wow, what a load of great songs there were there, James.

Speaker 25 And we're yet to hear from Andrew Lloyd Webber about turning my name is Andrew into one of his musicals, but we've still got our fingers crossed.

Speaker 216 Give me a call, Webby.

Speaker 25 Now, at the beginning of the year, James, I don't know if you remember, we went to America, USA, to record some episodes.

Speaker 4 Seems like another lifetime away, pre-pandemic. I mean, it's crazy to think that it happened this year, but it was great.
I mean, some of our US guests, let's face it, didn't know what a pop-adon was.

Speaker 35 They didn't really know what we were on about half the time. There were some pretty odd moments.

Speaker 18 No, they were baffled, and it seems also crazy to say we've still got some in the bank and we will be putting some out next year.

Speaker 4 The weirdest one, I think it's safe to say, is still to come.

Speaker 25 But for now, let's hear some clips from Ronnie Cheng, Noah Schnapp, Catherine Cohen, Apana Nanchola, Anthony Jeselnik, everyone's favourite, Wyatt Senak and Ronnie Chegg again.

Speaker 183 These people are confused.

Speaker 114 First of all, this whole fucking thing is, okay, why are you dividing it into goddamn like you don't go for like the idea of it must be a what first course, second course, third course, this is already imperial colonial mentality.

Speaker 137 Like

Speaker 55 yeah, what if I don't eat with that?

Speaker 218 I eat like shared plates, man. Bring it out and then we share it.
I don't eat fucking first, second, third. So you're yelling at me about a public.

Speaker 62 So we're whwashing food, right?

Speaker 133 Yeah, right now the whole concept of what the fuck you're doing is already, in my opinion, is already flawed.

Speaker 7 Hashtag dinner so white. Yeah.

Speaker 92 Hashtag dinner so white.

Speaker 101 No, I didn't say white. I didn't say white.

Speaker 218 Imperial colonialist.

Speaker 55 Yes. Yeah.

Speaker 7 It's not about race.

Speaker 42 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not about race.

Speaker 154 Colonialism's not a lot racialized at all.

Speaker 48 Here's what you need to know about that sound effect: is that James is a genie waiter for this.

Speaker 42 Okay.

Speaker 80 That means I can get you food from

Speaker 42 wherever, from whenever, from your past, from your future. Not for your future.

Speaker 68 No one ever picks anything from their future, to be fair.

Speaker 28 Very difficult to work out.

Speaker 62 Wait, are you guys brothers or just friends?

Speaker 100 No, it's both from England.

Speaker 105 Just from.

Speaker 105 Do we?

Speaker 23 Yeah, yeah. We think we look alike? A little bit.

Speaker 73 I don't think anyone's ever said that before.

Speaker 79 Okay, maybe not. I was just...

Speaker 45 Maybe you don't look alike.

Speaker 136 That was quite nice.

Speaker 55 We could be brothers.

Speaker 149 We could be brothers.

Speaker 63 I think we both like how each other looks.

Speaker 23 Yeah, I think so.

Speaker 73 So that's a compliment for both of us.

Speaker 76 I don't mind being compared to James.

Speaker 62 Sure, that was quite nice.

Speaker 99 That would be awful if you said that and then one of us was really offended and the other one wasn't.

Speaker 43 Well, thank God you guys aren't ugly.

Speaker 24 Yeah, yeah, exactly. That would be really scary.

Speaker 82 Also, I mean, yo, I guess it's quite nice.

Speaker 80 Family-run restaurants are good. So if this was like our own dream restaurant and we're like the brothers running it, that's quite nice.

Speaker 100 Two brothers. Two brothers running a restaurant.

Speaker 79 Well, good to know you're not brothers.

Speaker 7 Yeah, you're in good hands.

Speaker 73 Do you get drunk with your family?

Speaker 54 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 179 I get drunk with anyone. It's so fun, isn't it?

Speaker 62 Yeah, it's great.

Speaker 162 It is good.

Speaker 179 Though yeah, we're like a fun, like we like to have parties and we're a fun group.

Speaker 68 Can't we in your toilet?

Speaker 113 Yay!

Speaker 167 He pisses off my bathroom and brings the award.

Speaker 62 Thank you very much.

Speaker 191 Oh, well, fuck me, right?

Speaker 62 Yeah, when we record it.

Speaker 59 Yeah, welcome to New York. My apartment's very, for those listening at home,

Speaker 219 it's a huge apartment, but I chose to have the best.

Speaker 68 James is such a good podcast host that he will wait for guests to get halfway through saying something and they'll go, Can I we in your toilet?

Speaker 149 Are you not going yet?

Speaker 220 Right, look,

Speaker 81 you're definitely going to hear it.

Speaker 155 So, what I'm going to do is

Speaker 155 I'm going to have have a sit-down wee.

Speaker 186 Don't be

Speaker 58 sit-down

Speaker 81 and then you won't be able to hear it as much.

Speaker 196 Well that's you're a worst guest.

Speaker 221 Now you've announced that you're going to put your bare butt on a toilet.

Speaker 220 That's a sign of respect.

Speaker 149 What? Rubbing your ass on people's stuff.

Speaker 73 Sign of respect going,

Speaker 219 I celebrate however you want to piss in my house is beautiful.

Speaker 221 Oh I respect you so I'm going to pull down my trousers and pants and rub my ass on it.

Speaker 179 So beautiful to me.

Speaker 102 I'm going to put on, I'm going to show you guys what I'm talking about.

Speaker 221 In Japan, some of the toilets play music, so no one can hear you go.

Speaker 54 I would love to go to Japan.

Speaker 17 You can pick the tune and everything.

Speaker 54 I would love, you're right.

Speaker 97 I really would just love to go to Japan.

Speaker 60 You guys are going to let this owner.

Speaker 14 What are we playing?

Speaker 222 If you've ever found yourself one evening wandering down a quiet street in the rain, looking for somewhere to take shelter,

Speaker 222 you'll know what a blessed relief it is to find such a place as Reinday Antiques.

Speaker 123 Don't you love it?

Speaker 81 You right, James?

Speaker 62 Oh, I locked myself in at the end to screw.

Speaker 21 Don't say a word.

Speaker 222 And the glass between the metal bars is ever so slightly wavy. This quaint little establishment stays open 24-7,

Speaker 113 if you can believe it.

Speaker 105 Is anyone else around?

Speaker 179 Wait, I actually have to pee.

Speaker 135 Is that the craziest thing you've ever heard in your life?

Speaker 198 Well, no, I know.

Speaker 28 As soon as you put on the reindeer antique, I know we're all thinking.

Speaker 13 I really need to pee as well.

Speaker 78 You're a guest, you go.

Speaker 42 All right, I'll go first. Yeah, you go, Ed.
And then we'll all, yeah.

Speaker 60 I'll probably do a sit down.

Speaker 90 Honey, we should have brought the toilet in here, am I right?

Speaker 183 We all gotta go.

Speaker 42 Edge will do a really loud and proud one now.

Speaker 80 Tell me. Assert is dominance as the alpha.

Speaker 54 Okay, I'll be right back. Go on.
How are we doing it?

Speaker 220 How'd I sound?

Speaker 58 Barely cool.

Speaker 171 Yeah, great, actually.

Speaker 82 I like if I hadn't gone first, I would have been a lot more relaxed about it.

Speaker 182 I know.

Speaker 64 Okay. Hey, what's up, guys?

Speaker 101 Look, everyone's, everyone.

Speaker 219 Hey, guys, we're back in the studio.

Speaker 10 Everyone's relieved themselves now.

Speaker 105 What is that, a donut?

Speaker 223 In my head? Yeah.

Speaker 64 On my head? Yeah.

Speaker 74 Nice. Now I can't see what you're referencing, so

Speaker 141 you just suddenly out of nowhere said, what is that, a donut?

Speaker 13 The partner didn't please.

Speaker 133 She was just like, on my head.

Speaker 152 I don't know what that is.

Speaker 223 I now think I came in wearing a donut on my head and it was only referenced at this point.

Speaker 41 No, yeah, I can see it. Only certain people can see the donut.

Speaker 141 Yeah, I had no idea. It just means, yeah, it means I'm not sensitive or something.

Speaker 224 I can't see the donut on a bar.

Speaker 41 He's wearing it like a little hat. A donut on the part of his head.

Speaker 199 No, it's like a hairpin, right?

Speaker 55 It's a hairpin with a piece of it. It's a donut hairpin.

Speaker 42 It's got a little pink doughnut on it.

Speaker 223 Do you remember the bagel head trend in Japan where people would get plastic surgery to make it look like there was a bagel in their forehead? What?

Speaker 223 Okay, you're looking at me like I'm crazy, but if you Google it, it was a thing.

Speaker 37 They got surgery.

Speaker 223 They got surgery to make it look like there was a bagel under their forehead.

Speaker 3 Well, sitting opposite me is the great Benito. He just Googled it.

Speaker 41 I've never seen him look more horrified in his life.

Speaker 41 Looks absolutely like he's going to cry.

Speaker 138 It's a thing, though.

Speaker 162 Why, why?

Speaker 216 I don't know why.

Speaker 141 Was it like an advertising thing for a bagel chain where they were like, I'm always thinking about bagels?

Speaker 216 I don't know.

Speaker 223 I could never really get it get an explanation for why it became so it would look like it was embedded in their forehead

Speaker 60 yeah I want to walk around the table have a little look at my

Speaker 48 they don't have bidets in space yeah that's true we don't have those in England anyway bidets no no they're not big here I mean people like rich people have them.

Speaker 194 Have you ever tried one?

Speaker 198 It's unpleasant.

Speaker 76 It's not a nice feeling.

Speaker 29 I'm not into it.

Speaker 20 And like Japanese toilets, I like the idea of the

Speaker 75 spray in the water to wash, but

Speaker 142 it's not for me.

Speaker 76 I'd rather have just a slightly dirty butt,

Speaker 99 I think, and then just give it a big wash at the end of the day.

Speaker 194 I don't like when people have

Speaker 194 the baby wipes on the back of the toilet.

Speaker 90 It's like,

Speaker 37 how filthy are you?

Speaker 194 You're acting like you don't own a blow dryer. You know what I mean?

Speaker 4 Have you ever had a bidet steak?

Speaker 148 beg your pardon james what a bidet steak a steak that's cooked in a bidet is that weird yes well you said about birthday steak earlier i know about oh i thought i'd do a funny little

Speaker 198 you did are you throwing a callback at me oh yes

Speaker 133 i thought i'd just throw a little callback at you that's the worst thing you've ever done on it yeah that's so bad that's a crime against comedy anthony's got you so shook it's brilliant i'm absolutely terrified and i'm off my game i'm not thinking straight

Speaker 195 I've got no confidence in anything that comes out of my mouth.

Speaker 55 You shouldn't do it if it's fucking bidet steak.

Speaker 95 Why are you ganging up against me?

Speaker 104 Sorry.

Speaker 194 I just talked about birthday steaks, maybe.

Speaker 37 Yeah.

Speaker 194 But it's been quite some time. Are you going to air this?

Speaker 41 Yeah.

Speaker 37 Did we just put a bullet in this one? This is perfect. This is perfect.

Speaker 3 I think this one is going out, but like.

Speaker 194 If you guys title each episode differently, I hope it's called Bidet Steak.

Speaker 41 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 41 Bidet Steak, maybe.

Speaker 183 Oh, I'm having an anxiety attack

Speaker 194 oh look at it in my head it was good bidet steak i still joe this is how shook i am i still don't know why it didn't work still in my head it was it was the best idea ever had at the time would you like me to explain it to you yep okay a callback you got to have like the first thing in your head you know so it's like it like you remember that first thing and so birthday and bidet aren't even that similar yeah and it was so long ago that i talked about the birthday steak

Speaker 194 that uh and even the way you said it was without confidence whatsoever I think you were looking at the table, and it almost sounded like

Speaker 194 just the fact that the steak was made in a bidet was the joke. Yes, I mean, it was a failure across the board.

Speaker 69 Also,

Speaker 75 birthday steak, we didn't really hang around on that for very long, either.

Speaker 138 We mentioned it once.

Speaker 198 Yeah, I forgot we talked about it at all until he brought it up.

Speaker 41 It just stuck in my head because I thought a birthday steak sounded fun.

Speaker 194 What's like your normal job?

Speaker 72 Although, now I'm also, you've just reminded me if I can go on a very quick other tangent.

Speaker 69 Of course.

Speaker 72 Just wanna,

Speaker 135 Uncle Y wise, weird little tangents.

Speaker 180 The tangent has to end with you saying your dessert.

Speaker 90 I'll get to the dessert.

Speaker 3 You have to do the whole thing, and then at the end, just say it yourself.

Speaker 55 Just seamlessly go to dessert.

Speaker 72 I did in Los Angeles, and when you get there, you'll learn this.

Speaker 72 Two things about LA. Drinking, it stops at 2 a.m.

Speaker 72 But also, you can sell alcohol at grocery stores and not just just beer but you can sell hard alcohol and I remember when I lived there there was a woman in line in the grocery store at like 159 in the morning with a giant bottle of Jack Daniels and a big like one of the big leader things of Coke and the clerk was like I'm I'm sorry it's two o'clock I can't sell this to you and the the woman was very angry and like looked like she'd just gotten out of the of a nightclub nightclub and was just kind of like, come on, just sell it to me.

Speaker 72 And was trying everything. And finally, as a last ditch, was like, please, a friend of mine just died.

Speaker 57 And there was a part of me that was like, oh, what an interesting play.

Speaker 72 But also,

Speaker 72 I like the idea that a friend of yours just died and you were so upset about it that you didn't just buy whiskey, you bought soda to mix it.

Speaker 72 You're making mixers right now to like mourn the loss of your friend.

Speaker 72 So, yeah.

Speaker 72 So that was very interesting to me.

Speaker 92 Cinnamon rolls.

Speaker 118 Welcome, Ronnie, to the Dream Restaurant.

Speaker 90 Welcome, Ronnie Chang.

Speaker 143 I have an amoebouche for you.

Speaker 59 What?

Speaker 9 What was that?

Speaker 218 Yeah. Okay, nice to meet you.

Speaker 133 Join us again, Bull.

Speaker 62 Amused Boosh.

Speaker 59 Amoozbouche.

Speaker 143 Amused Boosh.

Speaker 55 You've got to say it right.

Speaker 218 You know, this is really, we're really at the

Speaker 218 bottom. Like,

Speaker 218 this is the end of podcasting, I think.

Speaker 62 Yeah.

Speaker 218 I mean, we're down to two British guys whimsically talking about lunch now.

Speaker 101 What more can we fucking do?

Speaker 62 This is it. Yeah.

Speaker 28 Thanks, Ronnie, but you were wrong.

Speaker 16 This is not the death of podcasting because we're still going.

Speaker 92 Go to hell, Ronnie!

Speaker 169 A Merry Christmas.

Speaker 1 Now, we shouldn't forget, of course, that this is a food podcast.

Speaker 25 So what we love is a mouth-watering description of food.

Speaker 4 Ah, I love an in-depth, detailed description of someone's favourite dish.

Speaker 22 So here's some clips from Sarah Pascoe, Natasha Legero, and Moshe Casha, and Gene Gray.

Speaker 86 This is that thing, actually. I think it's about being a comic, is because we do gig all over the place.
If you love something from somewhere, especially as a vegan, have this gratitude.

Speaker 86 So, Leon have a love burger, and it's vegan, it has vegan cheese, and it has vegan mayonnaise in it.

Speaker 86 So, it's got all the stuff of a normal burger rather than like you're missing something, and they're so nice. The first time I had one, I cried halfway through because it was going to finish.

Speaker 86 I was just so happy that it existed and existed somewhere. I can get one everywhere now.
And now, I have a rule: I do not pass a Leon without getting one.

Speaker 22 That's difficult in central London.

Speaker 193 It's I'm eating a lot of burgers, but that's how you show corporate gratitude.

Speaker 143 So, you always always have to go in and get a love burger.

Speaker 88 Yeah.

Speaker 120 What is it about the?

Speaker 82 So, I've never had a love burger.

Speaker 86 And also, I haven't had a non-vegan burger for a long time.

Speaker 13 So, you do forget what things taste like.

Speaker 86 But the really great thing about, especially if you want like fast food, it's the condiments, it's the gherkins, the cheese, the mayonnaise, the lettuce.

Speaker 86 It's the whole thing rather than just the patty. I think love burgers are combination between a very, very meaty tasting patty.

Speaker 79 Right, yeah.

Speaker 86 And everything else just being like a Big Mac, kind of like it's delicious.

Speaker 52 Yeah.

Speaker 81 So, the side dish.

Speaker 227 Okay, what was your side dish?

Speaker 67 Well, mine is the cream spinach that you order at Pacific Dining Car.

Speaker 156 Staying in the same place. Staying there.

Speaker 42 We're not moving.

Speaker 62 You don't want to leave.

Speaker 59 Yeah.

Speaker 67 It's really cool.

Speaker 156 You've not left California so far for your menu. And with Moshe's, we've been to San Francisco and Israel.

Speaker 58 And Israel. Yeah.

Speaker 62 Okay.

Speaker 54 I love California.

Speaker 153 I was unable to decide. This is cheating now that it's a competition.

Speaker 81 If this was just more of a laid-back...

Speaker 58 What do I do here?

Speaker 153 well i'll tell you what okay i know what i'll do i'll tell you what i what i couldn't decide between and then i'm gonna order the second thing okay dude okay yeah yeah yeah yeah i just thought it'd be cool because it's like we're talking memory and stuff jews have the worst food of any ethnic group probably in the world i mean eastern european jews hummus hummus that that's how bad jewish food is that we had to literally colonize a region and go our national dish

Speaker 58 we invented it and it's like no i'm pretty sure it's not from there but uh

Speaker 58 like like Humas is like an Arab food, but Israelis are just like, no, we made it.

Speaker 153 But the one good food that Eastern European Jews make,

Speaker 153 it's mostly just like bad, standard, like Eastern European, you know, and I'm sure like sausage-y, well, not sausage, but, you know, meats and boiled chickens and sliced potatoes.

Speaker 153 But there's a dish called chullant, which is a rare dish.

Speaker 67 This is one of your favorite foods?

Speaker 153 One of the best things ever. The face that Natasha made.

Speaker 67 You have to describe it.

Speaker 69 It's delicious.

Speaker 67 Tell them what's in it. Okay.

Speaker 153 It's a stew, basically, but it's made with

Speaker 153 mixed beans,

Speaker 93 like

Speaker 153 16-hour boiled beef. So it's like just falling apart, kind of the tenderest beef you've ever had in your life.

Speaker 58 Little barley and like

Speaker 153 sauce, sauce kind of situation. And then in the, I'm not ordering this, in the middle, there's something called kishka, which is a kind of like wheat and beef fat,

Speaker 153 pasty sausagey thing.

Speaker 69 It's like a starchy.

Speaker 83 It's a sausage, right?

Speaker 62 Because that wouldn't be coaching.

Speaker 69 It's a bit of a beef fat.

Speaker 153 But it's made of like starch and.

Speaker 58 Okay, so what I will have to

Speaker 83 sound good to you guys?

Speaker 57 Let's stick on the chunk.

Speaker 62 I mean, I just wanted to.

Speaker 60 I've never had someone describe it.

Speaker 57 I wanted to take a swing for my ethnicity, but as I was doing it, I gave up.

Speaker 155 I've never had someone describe something so specifically and in so much detail, and yet I still have no visual

Speaker 65 what it would be and what that would look like.

Speaker 181 I have no

Speaker 48 chicken, is it spatch cock?

Speaker 59 Is it like all flat?

Speaker 54 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I've never done that before. How do you

Speaker 149 do?

Speaker 103 It's the only way that I like to cook chicken and also turkey on Thanksgiving really, really helps.

Speaker 103 Cuts down like hours. And it's never dry because I don't fucking like turkey except when it's done that way.
Except for the fact that I also

Speaker 103 am apparently not eating meat anymore because my body said no.

Speaker 62 Oh, really?

Speaker 164 But still like to cook it and think about it.

Speaker 62 So thank you for this show.

Speaker 103 You flip it over, you take a real sharp knife or some sharp scissors and you cut the backbone out and then you flip it back over and you smash the chicken down and you're like, who's your fucking mom?

Speaker 103 And then that's it. You just got to take that piece out and then it kind of just opens it up so everything just cooks evenly and it's it's really lovely.

Speaker 48 What you put you do put garlic on it?

Speaker 103 Well first I want to make a a garlic buttered rosemary lemon rub that you do all under the skin.

Speaker 103 Well, this is, and then do a really good marinade with like some citrus and some garlic and some herbs and lemon and let that sit for a few hours. That's amazing.

Speaker 97 That sounds great. Also, a question about you said you do it with turkeys as well.
Yeah.

Speaker 68 Is your oven massive?

Speaker 66 No, and that's why you have to spatchcock a fucking turkey.

Speaker 102 Right.

Speaker 103 Because otherwise, the height of it, you can't can't fit anything else.

Speaker 58 But how wide does it get?

Speaker 70 Not bad.

Speaker 220 Cool, so you can do it like long,

Speaker 62 long ways.

Speaker 19 Oh, okay, I see what you mean.

Speaker 103 Turn it and then be able to fit like other things or something like small alongside with it,

Speaker 103 whereas before it was just like the turkey's in, that's it.

Speaker 84 We just have it to

Speaker 164 luck with having everything out at the same time.

Speaker 48 I just imagine unfolding a turkey to the size of like a world map.

Speaker 180 Yeah, that's how big I'd imagine it would be.

Speaker 55 Yeah.

Speaker 59 It's like the height of a door. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Delicious description from Jean Grey there.

Speaker 36 Absolutely love it. Her menu was mouth-watering.

Speaker 201 But I remember more about that interview, Ed.

Speaker 35 On the day, we just interviewed Noah Schnapp, and he had been talking to us about the Benagorgon.

Speaker 22 which of course, as we all know, is the Demogorgon, but mixed with the Great Bonito.

Speaker 172 It's when the Great Bonito becomes the Demogorgon.

Speaker 18 Yeah, and Noah had been talking to us about that.

Speaker 31 Yes, he had bought it up with us.

Speaker 8 He had told us about the Bene Gorgon, which is the Great Benito who lives in the upside down.

Speaker 22 And we told Gene Gray about it, and she did an

Speaker 4 absolutely amazing impression of the Benagorgon, but then it never made the edit.

Speaker 1 Because guess who edits the episodes?

Speaker 34 The Bene Gorgon himself.

Speaker 44 The Benagorgon.

Speaker 28 But finally, we can say an absolute exclusive because no other media outlet was brave enough to play it.

Speaker 11 Here is Gene Gray's impression of the Benegorgon.

Speaker 187 Can you do voices?

Speaker 69 What sort of voices do you want?

Speaker 81 I don't know, like, because I never heard you do a voice before.

Speaker 54 Yeah, you have?

Speaker 68 Oh, yeah, you do the voice of the Benegorgan.

Speaker 74 Yeah, the Benegorgan is the Great Benito's other character name.

Speaker 93 You and Stranger.

Speaker 64 What does it sound like?

Speaker 110 I'm the Benegorgon.

Speaker 137 Yeah, that's what it sounds like.

Speaker 178 I know myself.

Speaker 228 I used to be a magician

Speaker 228 and a chap did some magic and I changed myself accidentally into a Gorgon.

Speaker 62 Oh no.

Speaker 166 Shit.

Speaker 48 Yeah, so it turns out I can't do the Benagorgon as well as Gene can.

Speaker 101 Yeah, Gene took your impression.

Speaker 149 Yeah. And really, really.

Speaker 62 Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 201 That's what I'd like to hear.

Speaker 34 Spot on. That sounds exactly like him.

Speaker 25 Now, sometimes we talk about fancy food that you can't do at home, but sometimes we hear about recipes that you can try at home.

Speaker 11 Lots of listeners, for example, have already sent us pictures of their Tomasina Myers potatoes, James.

Speaker 4 Yes, and we're going to hear Thomasina Myers' recipe again for those potatoes, along with a recipe that I myself had to write down in real time from Goku.

Speaker 229 I made a canton beef dish with

Speaker 229 tomato ketchup, which is a real, which is incredible.

Speaker 229 The minute you mix tomato ketchup with oyster sauce, you get this fusion flavour, which is so dynamic and delicious and simple, and you get the saltiness and the

Speaker 229 sweetness from the tomato ketchup. And then that with the charred beef and fresh plum tomatoes and lots of onions, it's delicious.

Speaker 9 I've got tomato ketchup in the fridge right now.

Speaker 229 You should try that dish. You should try it.
I will. Should I tell you how to make it? James, do you want the recipe now?

Speaker 95 Very quickly.

Speaker 23 He's only got tomato ketchup, though.

Speaker 62 Yeah.

Speaker 229 Have you got any protein in your fridge?

Speaker 46 Chicken?

Speaker 32 Chicken, that'll do.

Speaker 229 Okay, so you're going to boil your chicken, however, it comes, whether it's breast or thigh.

Speaker 22 Let me get my notes up.

Speaker 113 Boil.

Speaker 65 We're going to do this.

Speaker 23 Chicken.

Speaker 229 Do you have any soy sauce?

Speaker 21 Yeah.

Speaker 229 Okay, so you're going to put a bit of soy sauce in the water and it will colour the chicken, but also add some salt to it as well.

Speaker 229 And then after you've boiled it, you're going to let it go cool and then you're just going to shred it with your fingers. Just put it apart.
Yeah.

Speaker 229 Then what you're going to do is you're going to fry off some garlic.

Speaker 55 Have you got ginger? Fingers.

Speaker 62 Yes.

Speaker 78 Fry garlic.

Speaker 229 And if you've got any ginger,

Speaker 229 you're going to put in two cloves of garlic. You're going to put half a centimetre of ginger.

Speaker 62 Half a centimetre. Yeah.

Speaker 229 If you're really posh, you'll grate the ginger. If you're not really posh, you'll cut it up as small as you can go, James.
But watch your fingers. Yeah.
Yeah. Then have you got any spring onions?

Speaker 195 Yeah, I have actually.

Speaker 229 Okay, so you're going to chop your spring onions up. You're going to chop up the green bits into three centimetre strips.
And then the white part of the onion, you're going to chop into smaller bits.

Speaker 229 And that's because a spring onion tastes differently. So the green bit is less acidic, and the white bit is very acidic.

Speaker 65 Okay?

Speaker 229 Got it. And then you've got, so what you're going to do is you're going to fry your spring onion, your ginger, and your garlic.

Speaker 229 And then you're going to put in your chicken in a tiny bit of oil, not very much at all. And then you're going to put a squeeze, a good squeeze of tomato ketchup.
Have fun with that, James.

Speaker 62 Yeah. Fun.

Speaker 21 And then you're going to put in.

Speaker 229 Yeah. And then you're going to put in about half of what you've done with the tomato ketchup with oyster sauce.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 229 And then at the very end of it, you're going to serve it on fluffy rice just with a tiny, tiny, tiny dash of sesame oil, and that's your most basic Cantonese dish.

Speaker 36 That is great. And at no point do I have to use...

Speaker 9 Oh, no, you did say water.

Speaker 62 So I'm going to.

Speaker 23 At the beginning, I'm going to be absolutely sucked.

Speaker 11 Unfortunately, you're not going to be able to get the water into the pan to boil the chicken in the sales.

Speaker 145 And that's the first hurdle.

Speaker 53 So the side dish is really good. Okay.
Okay, so you get some spuds. It's quite nice with new potatoes, this dish.

Speaker 53 So you boil them or steam them until they're tender, and then you smash them a bit, which is quite fun with a rolling pin or your hand or depending on how angry you are.

Speaker 53 Yeah, or jams or throw them against the wall.

Speaker 170 Yeah. And if they stick, they're cooked.

Speaker 54 Does that help you? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 90 Sounds good.

Speaker 55 Is that with all food?

Speaker 64 I don't think a new potato,

Speaker 85 a new potato sticks.

Speaker 62 I think you're wrong there. They're never

Speaker 55 fraud.

Speaker 53 It's a fraud.

Speaker 53 And then you mash it, and then you don't mash it, you just smash it a bit.

Speaker 66 So you just, you just, you just squash it a bit.

Speaker 53 Yeah, so you break the skin a bit. You lean on them a bit.

Speaker 22 Yeah.

Speaker 142 This is not a full mashing, but I'm coming for you if you mess it up.

Speaker 13 So you'd lightly crush the new potato.

Speaker 53 Yeah, then my favourite instrument in the kitchen, you get your pest and mortar.

Speaker 53 It's a big one. It's none of these piddly small ones where you can't do anything because everything's flying out.
It's a really big, heavy one.

Speaker 53 And in the bottom of it, you put, you know, three or four really fat cloves of garlic.

Speaker 53 Not the supermarket hind, but you know, the stuff you get from a proper food purveyor, like a market or something.

Speaker 53 Big fat cloves of garlic, smash them up with some sea salt, some peppercorns, loads of thyme.

Speaker 53 You can put rosemary in there too, or oregano or margarine, but thyme is for great because you can buy it in the supermarket. And smash all that up.

Speaker 53 Then you put lots of olive oil on, like, you know, masses, 100 mils, five, six, seven, eight tablespoons.

Speaker 53 Mash it all up to this garlicky thyme, black pepper paste, and you smear it all over the potatoes.

Speaker 53 potatoes and then you put it in the oven really hot oven and then you roast them until they're all crispy crunchy golden garlicky delicious

Speaker 15 that all sounded delicious but if you're feeling hungry feel hungry no more because let's talk about poo and pee Pooh and pea and poo and pee and poo.

Speaker 32 I'd say more often than we talk about food, we talk about poo and pee.

Speaker 94 This is a very rude podcast, Ed.

Speaker 25 Indeed.

Speaker 16 So let's hear from Corey Taylor, Thomasina Myers again, Sarah Millikan, and Arabella Weir talking about a boy buffet.

Speaker 144 Disgusting.

Speaker 230 I've had some stalkers over the years who have, they've sent me some weird shit, let's just say. Just a lot of weird, you know, letters signed in blood.

Speaker 14 Oh, so intense.

Speaker 230 I tell you what, dude. Okay, so

Speaker 230 the first real weird letter I ever got was back in 99, And there was a PO box that we were using for a while that we then had to get rid of because just so much shit was fucking coming into it.

Speaker 230 We had to forward everything to our management. But before we did that, we would go down and we would find, like,

Speaker 230 was getting to the point that there was just like bags and bags and bags of it. And they would give me these fucking stacks of crazy fan letters.

Speaker 230 So I would read them and, you know, every once in a while I'd reply. and stuff.

Speaker 230 But there was one that started out, it was from a lady, and she was telling me about how her and her husband were quite big fans, right?

Speaker 230 And now, the first page, you know, this is all on like notebook paper and handwritten, very nice, very whatever.

Speaker 230 And she's like, you know, I'm a huge fan of blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, oh, this is very sweet.

Speaker 230 And I flip it over, dude, and it turns into a full-on, like, I want you to keep me in a cage.

Speaker 230 And I want you to, I mean, for real, it went from zero to what the fuck, like that. I just was like, it was interesting.
I still have it somewhere.

Speaker 171 In the whole build-up to you talking about that letter, um, I could see James was really annoyed when it turned out to be from a lady because he really wanted to make the joke that I'd written it, James.

Speaker 62 Yeah, I was getting ready for it.

Speaker 125 Well, there were two things I was getting ready for.

Speaker 89 One was that I wanted to make the joke that Ed had written it, absolutely, 100%.

Speaker 78 And I'm still not ruling that out, by the way. It's a classic

Speaker 9 throwing you off the scent, Ed Gamble,

Speaker 89 making out he's a lady in the letter.

Speaker 62 Yeah, but also,

Speaker 65 uh,

Speaker 9 also, in preparation for possible callbacks later on in the episode,

Speaker 9 because I don't know about Clutch as much as Ed does, so I thought I'll Google the Clutch albums so I know clutch.

Speaker 9 And I tell you what, there is not a single album by Clutch which wouldn't be a funny name for a toilet.

Speaker 47 Oh, I've just remembered Earthrocker.

Speaker 62 Every single one of Earthrocker,

Speaker 62 Earthrocker, Psychic Warfare,

Speaker 47 Book of Bad Decisions, that really makes me laugh.

Speaker 166 Transnational Speedway.

Speaker 106 Oh, jeez.

Speaker 115 From Beale Street to Oblivion.

Speaker 110 Yes.

Speaker 31 Strange Cousins from the West.

Speaker 47 I don't know why that's my favourite.

Speaker 31 Strange Cousins from the West really makes me work.

Speaker 125 It works. It works, though.
Jam Room.

Speaker 62 Oh, Jam Room.

Speaker 107 Jam Room.

Speaker 107 It's really good.

Speaker 95 Hang on.

Speaker 231 Isn't it

Speaker 49 Slow Hold to China?

Speaker 85 Isn't that a rarities album?

Speaker 113 I think so.

Speaker 181 How big is this pestle of mortar when you said about it?

Speaker 53 I bath in it sometimes.

Speaker 104 Right.

Speaker 62 Yeah, bubble bath.

Speaker 23 And the pestle.

Speaker 198 Actually, which is the pestle?

Speaker 90 Which is the mortar?

Speaker 37 Good question.

Speaker 66 The mortar goes.

Speaker 55 The mortar's the baseball bat.

Speaker 84 The smasher one.

Speaker 55 Yeah. The baseball bat.
Yeah.

Speaker 14 Okay. And the pestle's the bowl.

Speaker 84 The pestle is the bowl. Yeah.

Speaker 42 Pestle on its own is quite a funny word.

Speaker 144 Yeah.

Speaker 13 You never hear it on its own.

Speaker 4 No one's just going and just get me a pestle.

Speaker 37 Yeah, I've got the mortar.

Speaker 84 I've bought my mortar.

Speaker 66 It sounds like one of those things you put up your bottom.

Speaker 53 Huh? What is one of the things you put out your bottom?

Speaker 66 What's that called? It's one of the things you put up your bum.

Speaker 61 What is that? Oh, in medicine.

Speaker 55 There's loads of different things that you can do. Yeah, of course.

Speaker 21 Seriously.

Speaker 24 You've spoken to enough medical professionals in your time.

Speaker 41 You've heard about your ear doctor friend, your dentist. I'm sure you've spoken to some ass doctor who's

Speaker 55 got many, many, many stories about all the people that are.

Speaker 84 A pessary, it's a pessary. A pessary.

Speaker 121 What's a pessary?

Speaker 61 It's when they put something out of your bottom.

Speaker 55 I thought that was a suppository.

Speaker 62 What's a suppository?

Speaker 181 That definitely is something that goes up your butt.

Speaker 62 Up your butt. Yeah.

Speaker 54 But.

Speaker 112 But, yeah, I guess what

Speaker 55 we've learned is you can,

Speaker 78 anything can go up there.

Speaker 62 Apart from your puzzle, because it's too big, right?

Speaker 15 It's too big.

Speaker 13 You could fit a butt in the pastle.

Speaker 14 You fit a butt in the mortar.

Speaker 62 Butt plug.

Speaker 62 What's the same butt plug?

Speaker 24 She's lost it.

Speaker 41 Tomasina's absolutely lost it for the lesson. No, she said, but plugging, she's absolutely losing it, laughing her head off.

Speaker 89 Absolutely losing it.

Speaker 94 I just can't stop laughing now.

Speaker 168 We'll do well to get her back in this episode.

Speaker 100 Do you want anyone in particular playing the piano?

Speaker 212 Oh, that's a good question.

Speaker 231 Somebody who's quite good,

Speaker 228 but not really. I don't want to be...

Speaker 52 Yeah, I don't want anybody playing something where I'm like, I don't know know what that is. I want to be able to recognise the tunes, proper tunes.

Speaker 52 So somebody who, like mid-range, doesn't have to be famous, but better than I am. I can only play with one hand, which is limiting.

Speaker 18 You don't want to be sat at dinner and then not really listening to the music.

Speaker 30 And then you just tune into it and you just hear it in the distance.

Speaker 171 You're like, I think that's the Rugrats theme tune.

Speaker 62 Is that the theme from Midnight Caller?

Speaker 31 Oh, you're probably too young for that.

Speaker 233 Every now and again, someone says something on the podcast that I know is going to end up on the No Context Off menu Twitter account.

Speaker 35 And when you said, I can only play with one hand and it's limiting, I was like, well, that's going.

Speaker 62 That's amazing. I mean, that's also true.

Speaker 31 But I'm really good with that hand.

Speaker 62 Yeah, okay.

Speaker 172 Don't get it twisted, everyone.

Speaker 62 It's the same as an expert with that hand.

Speaker 78 Yeah.

Speaker 62 Not an expert.

Speaker 62 That sounds too much.

Speaker 1 Do you want someone in the distance doing that as well?

Speaker 31 Um, well, I mean, if I'm on my own, maybe I could be doing that to myself, couldn't I?

Speaker 23 Depends how good the food is, right?

Speaker 52 Yeah, and if I've got like instead of having cutlery, if I just have like a spoon, I could keep the other hand busy, it's fine.

Speaker 172 Then it'll be the pianist will be the one going to the waiters.

Speaker 100 Can you ask her to turn it down?

Speaker 57 Keep it down over there.

Speaker 89 It's too noisy over on that table, please.

Speaker 23 I'm trying to play the piano over here.

Speaker 85 I'll have what she's having.

Speaker 93 Better than sex, though.

Speaker 62 It's not on your menu.

Speaker 164 Yeah, but I'm old, so sex isn't that interesting to me anymore.

Speaker 225 But like, it's not like, you know, oh, fantastic sex or a mince pie. No, let's just go for the mini.

Speaker 16 A lot of foods are above sex now, right?

Speaker 62 Yeah, and the older you get, the basic you get.

Speaker 62 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 211 The older you get, they sort of swap places.

Speaker 225 You know, sex is everything when you're your age, and then you sort of think, I want to talk about it all the time.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 157 I do another podcast all about people's favourite sex menu.

Speaker 62 Yep.

Speaker 64 Do you? No.

Speaker 55 No, that would be a good one, though.

Speaker 225 It'd be interesting to see if you can get anybody on it.

Speaker 55 Boff men. What is it called?

Speaker 84 What do you like on your sex menu?

Speaker 64 Boff.

Speaker 162 Boff. Boff.
Oh, Boff. Yeah.

Speaker 56 You've got a podcast right there.

Speaker 55 It would be interesting to see who you get on it.

Speaker 151 Yeah, I know it's called Boff Men. Yeah.

Speaker 84 That's good.

Speaker 62 Boff men.

Speaker 225 Boff men.

Speaker 225 Quite boutique.

Speaker 138 That podcast, wouldn't you?

Speaker 84 But you might get a lot of listeners.

Speaker 225 Yeah, that's a good idea.

Speaker 42 So food has overtaken sex for you.

Speaker 225 Yeah, I mean,

Speaker 225 that sounds like I used to have as much sex as I did eat, and that probably is true, yeah.

Speaker 235 I probably used to have more sex than I ate.

Speaker 164 That's cool.

Speaker 225 And then you sort of swap a bit because A, you're not that interested as much, and also your opportunities diminish the older you get.

Speaker 57 Sure.

Speaker 62 Like it or not.

Speaker 225 And whereas you can

Speaker 225 eat where you like. I mean, you can go to a restaurant and eat what you like, can't you?

Speaker 174 If you can afford it.

Speaker 225 Whereas you can't go to a boy restaurant in my case and eat what you like necessarily.

Speaker 84 No.

Speaker 178 Especially if they have free will.

Speaker 62 You should stop calling places boy restaurants, though.

Speaker 216 Well, I mean, you know, the idea being that's going, I've arrived in the boy restaurant.

Speaker 225 Well, that's the sort of, you know, if there's a sort of smorgasbord of boys, which is, you know, yeah, I'll have one of that, a little bit of that, not too much of that, please.

Speaker 66 Just a suggestion of that,

Speaker 225 a taste of that. I've only thought of this now, but that is basically what happens.
Whereas you have more opportunities the older and richer you get.

Speaker 57 Yeah.

Speaker 225 In many ways, but fewer choices in

Speaker 164 the love.

Speaker 225 Well, let's not talk about love in the sex department. Yeah.

Speaker 23 you're not in love with all these boys at the boy restaurant.

Speaker 225 No, in fact, you mustn't be in love with them.

Speaker 55 No, you can't.

Speaker 111 You must not be in love with them. It's just, it's a picnics.

Speaker 225 And you don't want to invest too much.

Speaker 84 Sure. It's a, you know, it's a grab bag.

Speaker 111 Yeah.

Speaker 28 Well, James, what a year it's been for Willie.

Speaker 172 It has been an amazing year for Willie.

Speaker 3 Right at the start of this year, way back in March, Joe Thomas came on our podcast and he told us about his hero, Willie Harcourt Coos, who is a chocolate expert.

Speaker 4 He inspired Joe to do something awful with a lamb.

Speaker 8 And then we interviewed the wonderful chef, Andy Oliver, who revealed that she knew Willie Hardcore Coos.

Speaker 4 We used that contact, and as a Christmas special on Christmas Day, we released the conversation between Willie and Joe. We united them and brought them together for the first time.

Speaker 35 It's been a heartwarming story.

Speaker 150 This is also a dish that I'm going to prepare. Okay, it's something that I call 24-hour lamb.

Speaker 55 24-hour lamb.

Speaker 7 And this is a lamb that you cook by burying it with a fire in a hole.

Speaker 150 And I did this.

Speaker 80 Burying it with a fire in a hole.

Speaker 150 Initially with a fire.

Speaker 94 So that it's in there with the fire.

Speaker 150 Okay, you light a fire.

Speaker 2 Yep.

Speaker 148 You put the lamb in. Yes.

Speaker 88 Okay.

Speaker 148 Then you bury it.

Speaker 150 Great. Okay.
Basically, that's how you do it. Now, I did this about 10 years ago.

Speaker 11 There was one summer where I was

Speaker 150 living with my parents and I sort of really became really just

Speaker 150 for like one summer, like really genuinely quite good friends with like one of the local dads who lives in the village. So he was like my mate's dad.

Speaker 16 He's called Neil.

Speaker 7 But it was a bit like, that's my mate, Neil.

Speaker 150 So I suppose he's about, I suppose he was about 50, I was about 25.

Speaker 150 But it was a nice, it was a gent, it was a, there was nothing, you know, I wasn't like a Toy boy like it was it was a it was a perfectly lovely friendship just friends with your mates dad's dad's dad and I'm remain friends with that Neil now and

Speaker 60 that's not as weird as being in love with someone no no which would be quite nice actually

Speaker 150 mates with your mates dad so basically he'd wanted to do this for a while and I'd seen or it's whose idea was it It was perhaps even my idea, but I suddenly, I remember seeing a program on television.

Speaker 226 I'm just starting to laugh because I'm just remembering that this story is clearly building towards you and your mate's dad digging a hole

Speaker 24 in the garden and cooking a lamb in it together.

Speaker 144 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 150 It was,

Speaker 139 as I say, you know, it was, in fact, it wasn't summer, it was Christmas time.

Speaker 106 Because we went to.

Speaker 150 It was some sort of romantic time of year.

Speaker 23 Yeah.

Speaker 150 I'd seen a programme on television that was called Willie's Perfect Chocolate Christmas.

Speaker 7 Now, the thing is, in which this lamb thing had been done.

Speaker 105 Now, the thing is, it wasn't really a recipe programme.

Speaker 191 What's Willie's Perfect Chocolate Christmas?

Speaker 91 Okay, I'll tell you what it was like.

Speaker 139 It was like, you know, Kirstie, like Kirstie's Christmas.

Speaker 150 Like, you know, Phil and Kirstie, who do like the property stuff. She does programmes at Christmas where it's like, it's a bit of cookery, but it's not really like...
It's not really a cookery.

Speaker 150 They're not that specific about the recipes. It's more like tips.
And at the same time, it's like her just like making a house look nice and like making

Speaker 150 decorations. So it was the recipe was at sort of that level of distance from like specifically what he was actually doing.

Speaker 150 And also I kind of it was one of those frames that you kind of like catch where I was like oh yeah I think he

Speaker 150 I think he was doing something like and so this is me Sir Neil now.

Speaker 150 He dug a pit he put a fire in it and then he got a load of hay that he'd kind of

Speaker 150 kind of made a bit damp and he put that on top of the fire so the fire wasn't too harsh.

Speaker 150 then he put the lamb, which I think he'd seasoned or something. I remember them putting some herbs and stuff in.
Again, I sort of seen it. I was like, I don't know what's that?

Speaker 150 Could be rosemary, it could be anything. Yeah, and in a way, it's not really a bit about it.
Willie's family, really.

Speaker 59 Yeah, um,

Speaker 150 um, so, um, who's Willie?

Speaker 62 Yeah,

Speaker 111 well, okay, so this is the thing.

Speaker 150 So, having watched this program,

Speaker 7 I really identified with Willie. And to a certain extent, I was like, I think I'm a sort of Willie.

Speaker 21 Yeah, you're a Willie type.

Speaker 45 I'm a Willie figure.

Speaker 62 Yeah, yeah. Like,

Speaker 7 I'm a guy like that. I'm a guy.

Speaker 7 I'm an affable guy.

Speaker 150 Okay, he was a guy who I think... This might be totally wrong.

Speaker 74 I think he might have been a sort of chocolate entrepreneur.

Speaker 150 I think he might have owned...

Speaker 76 Please Google Willie's Perfect Chocolate. Willie's Perfect Chocolate Christmas.

Speaker 150 I think what you'll find is that he set up...

Speaker 92 He set up.

Speaker 150 The point is, he was a nice guy. And he was having a big party for his friends and family.

Speaker 174 And also,

Speaker 55 does it even exist?

Speaker 79 Willie Hardcore Coos.

Speaker 100 yeah there you go here it is about the show chocolate enthusiast Willie Harcourt Coos is back to show everyone that when it comes to chocolate consumers deserve the best yeah and doesn't say anything about lamb

Speaker 150 well and when it comes to lamb

Speaker 150 some people deserve a standard of lamb anyway so basically

Speaker 150 fire in the hole damp hei lamb seasoned in a Hessian sack on top of that fill it in Everyone basically, if I saw, actually, that is done the night before.

Speaker 150 The next day, 24 hours later, people are starting to arrive. There's a lot of anticipation.
And Willie, who's like an eccentric, but like, he's like, oh, what's he done now? This is

Speaker 150 mental. And his wife was like, oh, there was a bit.
So the neighbours called the police because they looked at him disposing of a body. So I was like, that's cool.

Speaker 71 So he's like a

Speaker 13 cookie cool guy.

Speaker 150 And then the neighbours came around and basically the lamb was dug up. It was quite sort of triumphant.
Um,

Speaker 150 and it was, um, I'm almost certain the phrase falling off the bone would have been used. And this, it was fucking nice.
Basically, it was fucking nice. And it looked nice.
It looked nice.

Speaker 150 Was it actually nice? No way of knowing.

Speaker 45 Was that the focus of the show?

Speaker 150 No. Did he really tell you how to do it? No.
Had I briefly caught part of that show? Yes. Did I know Neil?

Speaker 49 Yes.

Speaker 150 Did Neil's sister live on a farm and could get us a lamb?

Speaker 189 Yes.

Speaker 150 Did we drive to the farm?

Speaker 40 Yes.

Speaker 150 Was it snowing when we drove to the farm?

Speaker 80 Yes.

Speaker 150 It was that night. It was about 2009.

Speaker 60 Uh-huh.

Speaker 48 2009. Yeah.

Speaker 14 Three decades ago, if we're using that fucking football podcast rubric.

Speaker 143 Yeah, I mean, don't get shitty about it.

Speaker 150 You're the one who introduced that. Well, I just think it's bollock.
I mean, I just, it's not.

Speaker 150 The 90s is not four decades ago. It's just over two decades ago.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we established that. 2018.

Speaker 41 So it's just stupid.

Speaker 134 Depending on how it's going to be.

Speaker 150 It's like it's a stupid, tricky thing to go. It's like somebody going to me, like, next year you'll turn 38.
You don't need to say that. Okay.
I know it's true.

Speaker 56 That's That's not true. I'm 36 now.

Speaker 101 Sure.

Speaker 101 So you're basically

Speaker 150 getting another year.

Speaker 41 You're speaking in two.

Speaker 105 You're using a year in a different way.

Speaker 48 Yeah, using year, yes, exactly.

Speaker 76 Yes, exactly. Thank you.

Speaker 28 You're using year as a marker rather than a

Speaker 28 exactly.

Speaker 150 You're saying, yeah, like in a there's a there's a point of the year that comes after this one numerically where you'll actually be two years older.

Speaker 150 But you, in, you know, if people might think you're two years older than you are now, even that isn't true.

Speaker 62 Sure. Okay.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 101 I mean, decades and time and age doesn't matter.

Speaker 132 You can talk with a 50-year-old man.

Speaker 136 Yeah, well, as I say, the point is, as I say,

Speaker 150 you know, are you 50?

Speaker 174 Yes, good.

Speaker 150 Do I know your son?

Speaker 40 Yes.

Speaker 150 Johnny mates with the son? No, only mates with you.

Speaker 19 How old's your son?

Speaker 171 My age.

Speaker 60 Yeah.

Speaker 180 I still choose you.

Speaker 68 You chose him?

Speaker 119 I chose him. I didn't know it was a choice.

Speaker 14 I played a situation.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Place an advert.
I didn't.

Speaker 150 He's genuinely like, genuinely a good man.

Speaker 62 A good man. Yeah.

Speaker 106 And

Speaker 150 anyway, so we drive. So

Speaker 150 it was this snowstorm.

Speaker 150 was a year it was probably 2009 it was snowing so badly that the rate we were moving at this was a year where i don't know if you remember like people were having to like overnight in their cars yeah because they were getting stuck even on quite big roads like the m2 yeah

Speaker 62 for example for example yeah it's the biggest road i can think of yeah

Speaker 145 can't think of one bigger than that

Speaker 150 if you don't know what a big road is and me saying like the m2 also hasn't helped you i'm just gonna you're just gonna have to not understand that sure okay fine yeah yeah yeah We were driving to Neil's sister's farm.

Speaker 7 But the rate we were going.

Speaker 150 It was me, Neil, and also 50-year-old man.

Speaker 150 I think his daughter

Speaker 150 and also

Speaker 150 maybe

Speaker 122 her mate

Speaker 172 of the people in the car had been briefed and told about where these perfect chops looked like.

Speaker 7 One Neil.

Speaker 92 Yeah, Neil,

Speaker 24 the other two hadn't had that.

Speaker 150 The other two were.

Speaker 150 I think they were both there.

Speaker 148 Anyway.

Speaker 16 So you got the lamb as well. We got the lamb.

Speaker 150 So this was a fucking mission. So basically, we were moving at the speed that, because it was so snowy, we're moving at the speed that Henry VIII moves at in Wolf Hall when he's like on horseback.

Speaker 150 So like we got from Essex to Milton Keynes in about like five or six hours. Like it was a day's, it was like a day's ride.

Speaker 55 Yeah.

Speaker 150 You know Wolf Hall where it's like after a hard day's riding they'd made it from Kent up to London.

Speaker 137 What you're on about, they know what Wolf Hall is.

Speaker 54 Oh,

Speaker 150 not interested in the Book of Prize.

Speaker 14 No reference points are all over the place, Joe.

Speaker 108 We've had the Premier League, Wolf Hall, and Willie's Perfect Chocolate Christmas.

Speaker 150 But also, as I've established, I'm only addressing myself.

Speaker 65 So I know.

Speaker 21 I know.

Speaker 150 So basically, we were going at a kind of medieval pace, the pace where you'd have to stop to get fresh horses.

Speaker 150 So that added an element to it that, for me, made it better.

Speaker 55 You love. Time with Neil, basically.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 101 More time with the best mate.

Speaker 23 Time's your best friend.

Speaker 1 Got there, got the lamb.

Speaker 150 Point is about a lamb is that it's not really a lamb, it's a massive, dead, young sheep.

Speaker 139 Yes. Okay,

Speaker 150 so that goes in the back of the car. Did it smell? Yes.
What did it smell of?

Speaker 13 Blood.

Speaker 62 Yeah.

Speaker 150 Did it kick up a bit?

Speaker 40 Yes.

Speaker 13 I can't remember whether it was.

Speaker 171 So we overnighted.

Speaker 150 I'm going to keep using the verb overnight. We overnighted at his sister's farm.
Then we drove out the next day. I think it was a bit of an easier journey back.
Now it came to bury the lamb.

Speaker 150 The garden we chose to bury it in was not my parents' back garden.

Speaker 62 Garden.

Speaker 139 We buried it in a garden. In a garden.

Speaker 37 I thought you were doing it on the farm.

Speaker 22 No, no, that was a guest.

Speaker 106 No, no, no.

Speaker 225 Because the point is about Willie is he's a village character.

Speaker 150 So we had to come back to our village so we could invite.

Speaker 31 Well, you had to be like Willie.

Speaker 226 Yes. You couldn't just eat the land.

Speaker 13 You wanted the party like. I mainly wanted to be like Willie.
I wanted to party like

Speaker 189 it's 1999.

Speaker 150 Like I'm Willie and it's 1999. Yeah.

Speaker 172 You don't just want to eat this.

Speaker 41 You see it go on.

Speaker 91 It's not really about the farm. I'd love to talk about it.

Speaker 150 It turns out I'm more interested in preparing food for other people actually.

Speaker 1 It's about the display.

Speaker 150 It's about the display.

Speaker 28 It's about me having friends near.

Speaker 58 So, whose garden did you bury it in?

Speaker 150 We buried it in the so, as I say, not my back garden, not the back garden of the house that Neil,

Speaker 150 he was literally a homeowner, lived in, but just the back garden of one of the other local mums who was like known to be a bit of a soft touch. Like, she was, she was the

Speaker 150 mum where

Speaker 150 whenever there was a party with like

Speaker 150 when we were at school, where it was just like 20 adolescent boys no girls which was the only party I ever went to it was always at her house yeah because it was like you don't even need to make a comparison I think we all know the old phrase yeah you know her she'd let you bury a lamb in her background

Speaker 21 and his childfriend bury a lamb in her background

Speaker 42 because they saw well he's perfect

Speaker 150 so basically we um

Speaker 150 I could see, I mean, when we arrived with the lamb, I think we were basically late with the lamb because of the snow. We got there, my my brother was there.
Um, Giles was there. Giles is the son

Speaker 150 of the woman who was like, his mum was like

Speaker 187 soft touch, soft touch.

Speaker 150 He was, um, yeah.

Speaker 101 Soft touch, yeah.

Speaker 134 So they're there, ready to help you back.

Speaker 101 Yeah, they're there.

Speaker 150 So, Greg and Giles is there. And we arrive, and the fire's lit.

Speaker 119 The pit is ready.

Speaker 55 The five done quite a lot.

Speaker 105 They've done quite a lot.

Speaker 191 They've done a lot. They dug the pit for us.

Speaker 7 They've dug the pit for us.

Speaker 12 But Willie would dig his own pit.

Speaker 150 I wasn't great. I was pissed off.
I wanted to dig the pit as as well. I wanted to, like, I was because we were late back from

Speaker 150 the snow and everything. And, like, they dug the pit, they'd lit the fire, and

Speaker 150 then they were putting that hay on. It seemed a bit wet, but there was like a steam coming up.

Speaker 23 But I said, put that in.

Speaker 150 Then we put the lamb in, buried it.

Speaker 59 In a sack?

Speaker 150 I think we did have a Hessian sack. I think we genuinely did have a Hessian sack.
And it, you know, we'd put bits of rosemary in it and all the rest of it.

Speaker 150 Probably garlic.

Speaker 62 Yeah.

Speaker 69 I mean,

Speaker 150 just definitely we would have done.

Speaker 80 Fucking definitely.

Speaker 147 Yeah.

Speaker 147 Buried it.

Speaker 150 Came out the next day.

Speaker 150 So now there's

Speaker 150 Giles' mum.

Speaker 101 Soft Touch. Soft Touch is there.

Speaker 20 Soft Touch is there.

Speaker 23 Soft Touch Lamblady.

Speaker 150 My mum's there. Neil's wife is there.

Speaker 13 Probably thinking Neil's spending a bit too much time

Speaker 21 with

Speaker 55 his young friend.

Speaker 226 But they're burying a lamb.

Speaker 7 My dad's job.

Speaker 22 You're jealous of Neil's wife, of course.

Speaker 150 Yeah, I'm like, what the fuck's she doing?

Speaker 198 Why aren't you standing next to me?

Speaker 41 I thought this was about us.

Speaker 150 Why are you standing next to her?

Speaker 19 Why are you standing next to her at the lamb function? Yeah, sorry.

Speaker 7 What's this conversation about? Yeah. Sorry, no, I don't mean to butt in.

Speaker 150 Just what you're talking about.

Speaker 54 Yeah.

Speaker 150 Veg has been prepared, roasted veg.

Speaker 54 Yeah.

Speaker 150 A lot of anticipation. I am basically like, I'm Willie.

Speaker 152 Out we go. Shout out to the lamb.

Speaker 150 Like,

Speaker 150 I can't see like obvious

Speaker 13 smoke or steam, but like, it's fine.

Speaker 150 We dig it up, peel back the Hessian sacking.

Speaker 48 It's exactly the same.

Speaker 150 It's exactly, it's just raw.

Speaker 69 I mean, it's exactly the fucking same.

Speaker 142 It's just like, hasn't changed.

Speaker 40 It hasn't changed.

Speaker 150 So anyway, we um

Speaker 7 we get it out.

Speaker 150 Neil is in pieces. Neil's just literally like, we get it back into Elaine's kitchen.
With, sorry, Elaine is soft touch.

Speaker 13 So I walked in away.

Speaker 150 I was like, I won't use her name, but then in a way, we we just stopped calling her soft touch.

Speaker 7 Anyway, I think Elaine went by.

Speaker 150 So, weirdly, Elaine's also a vet, which is odd. So, it's weird having this thing on the table, dead animal.

Speaker 150 What I would say is: what's the difference between the lamb we got from the farm and the lamb that we've now dug up? I'll tell you the difference.

Speaker 150 Bits of the lamb we've now dug up literally stink of shit.

Speaker 150 That is the difference between the lamb. So, basically, in hindsight, there's three things I would suggest.
Um,

Speaker 150 first of all, when they put the hay on, I was like, that hay isn't damp. That's like what you'd put on a fire to put it out.

Speaker 152 It was just

Speaker 14 wet hay, yeah.

Speaker 7 So they just put the fire on it.

Speaker 2 Essentially, dug a fire, put it out.

Speaker 150 Essentially, it was like, how do you raise the chicken? Turn the oven on, heat up the oven to 200. Actually, it'd probably 180.

Speaker 16 Yeah.

Speaker 150 Turn the oven off, put the chicken in. That was basically what had happened.

Speaker 7 Fire put out, lamb buried.

Speaker 2 Two other facts.

Speaker 150 Soft touch told us that

Speaker 150 either the night before or maybe the following morning, quite a lot of the local squirrels and local pigeons had been just on the area immediately above the lamb, being like,

Speaker 156 There's something going on here.

Speaker 62 What is it?

Speaker 184 There's something near that we're interested in.

Speaker 156 What is it?

Speaker 184 There's food somewhere.

Speaker 57 What is it?

Speaker 150 And then the third fact I'd say is that when we dug it up, one of Neil's sons said, it smells like museums.

Speaker 150 which I assume means it smells like a mummy smells bad it smells bad does Neil's son also then say dad please come home dad please come home you finish hanging out with the Thomas boy he said first of all dad I'm glad you're still alive can you just we just want to know that you're safe

Speaker 13 so is that your main course so sorry that's your main course a better a better version of that is there is a version of that that works maybe

Speaker 44 well surely willy's one.

Speaker 150 Okay, Willie's making it.

Speaker 90 Willie's making it it's got these one.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we can't have your lamb zombie as no, no,

Speaker 62 no.

Speaker 150 Well, you can't have something that

Speaker 150 literally stinks of shit.

Speaker 13 Probably.

Speaker 54 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 148 main course, Rose Lamb.

Speaker 45 24-hour lamb.

Speaker 94 Long story short, you want a rose lamb for your main course.

Speaker 36 Had that lady who buried the salmon seen the TV show Willie's Perfect Chocolate Christmas?

Speaker 31 No, I don't.

Speaker 237 Why does he do that? Does Willie do that on that? I know him.

Speaker 166 You know Willie?

Speaker 54 Yeah.

Speaker 40 Andy, this is huge for the podcast.

Speaker 162 This is absolutely incredible.

Speaker 31 I'm so glad I brought up the Joe Thomas episode.

Speaker 237 And you know what? Just now, when I said Sam Richards, don't text me now because I'm busy, she's the woman who made Willie's chocolate, Willie's Perfect Chocolate.

Speaker 237 She's the producer of that programme.

Speaker 110 What?

Speaker 40 This is perfect.

Speaker 23 That was me in my head going, I'm going to ask if someone saw Willie's Perfect Chocolate Christmas.

Speaker 217 That's really good throw, Andy.

Speaker 166 And you were like, oh, no, she didn't see that.

Speaker 42 But the producer just messaged me.

Speaker 238 And I know Willie.

Speaker 237 His chocolate.

Speaker 196 That's some really good chocolate he makes.

Speaker 124 Right.

Speaker 237 Did he bury something in that? I don't remember that. But what did he bury?

Speaker 75 He buried a lamb, apparently.

Speaker 94 However, he's talking to Joe Thomas.

Speaker 5 He buried a lamb in Willie's Perfect Chocolate Christmas.

Speaker 11 Will you only hang out with Willie if he's been in the fridge?

Speaker 237 No,

Speaker 237 because I'm not liable to try to snap him and eat a bit off.

Speaker 132 So many questions right now.

Speaker 64 Yeah.

Speaker 9 What is Willie like, and how did you meet him?

Speaker 237 Do you know what? I actually, the first time I tried to meet him, I tried to meet him in Thailand because somebody said I was going to Thailand on my own.

Speaker 237 They said, my mate, Will's there, you have to go and say hi to him. And I got there and he'd already left.

Speaker 237 And I was like, oh, that's a shame. So I missed him.
And then when I came back to England, Sam, about two years later, was making this TV show, Willie's. What's the whole series? What was it called?

Speaker 237 There was a whole series. I can't remember, Willie's something.

Speaker 237 And

Speaker 237 said, oh, you must come and meet Will because you guys are going to get on like a house on fire. Was I in one?

Speaker 237 I can't remember whether we were in it or whether I just met him down there. But so I met him down at his farm place with all his millions of children and his lovely wife.

Speaker 237 And then occasionally I would see him in the Portobello Road.

Speaker 167 Right.

Speaker 237 Before the Portobello Road got really crap and boring.

Speaker 55 And what kind of a guy is he?

Speaker 209 What's his vibe?

Speaker 237 He's lovely, quite posh, very nice. He's good, he's funny, he's really into what he does.

Speaker 237 He's really like, you know, he's one of because to do that, obviously, to suddenly start doing a sort of making a Peruvian chocolate business, you've got to be fairly obsessive.

Speaker 237 So he's fairly obsessive about it, because he has to be, but he makes a really brilliant thing. And I love it when people are like that, when they're just one thing is their life.

Speaker 237 And that's what they're, you know, sort of their main focus is his children and the chocolate, I think.

Speaker 11 That's going to solve so many, so many mysteries and questions on the podcast.

Speaker 49 You should get him on.

Speaker 162 Yeah, we should.

Speaker 124 Do you want to do that?

Speaker 94 We're going to absolutely get in Willie's contact details on you after this episode.

Speaker 89 And we're going to try and get him on.

Speaker 149 You should get him on.

Speaker 85 We need to have Willie on.

Speaker 210 I mean, it was funny. You dig a massive hole.
I put lots of rocks inside the bottom.

Speaker 107 Yeah.

Speaker 210 and then built a mess when I say big fire it was six foot wide the pit six foot long at least and up to my chest filled it with rocks built a massive fire got it going it was pure embers almost level to the ground and then I had to pull out with a spade on a on a shovel on a long stick a lot of the coals yeah and then I stuck inside

Speaker 210 the lamb I had branches of rosemary and big bunches of garlic which I smashed up and then I wrapped it in calco, which is a kind of canvasy white material. And I was worried it was going to burn.

Speaker 210 So I wet it all, wet the calco.

Speaker 55 Very important to wet it, whatever.

Speaker 210 And then I whacked in the lamb, and then I pushed in all the embers over it. So I had a good, I suppose, a couple of feet of embers on top.

Speaker 210 And then I put the earth on top, and it looked like I buried somebody.

Speaker 12 Now, Joe, yours didn't go as well as that, did it? Can you hit from Willie's description there?

Speaker 148 Can you work out what went wrong with yours?

Speaker 213 Yeah, I can. I was, yeah, little bits and pieces were jumping out of me there.

Speaker 49 Do you want to tell Willie how you did it?

Speaker 147 Did you do the stage, Willie, where this was a stage that we added to your method as a slight improvement?

Speaker 2 Where after you've lit the entire fire, you

Speaker 150 and your brother and your brother's mates

Speaker 150 basically just pour so much water on the fire that the fire just goes out. And therefore, when you bury the lamb, there's not actually any heat at all.

Speaker 50 Because that was the stage that we that was the the stage that we did were you drinking we weren't drinking no because uh he was hanging out with his mate's dad being very responsible

Speaker 210 i've realized you were younger i was younger

Speaker 150 how old were you joe no i'm 37 now so i was 27.

Speaker 28 oh okay and just a quick reminder how old was your best friend

Speaker 117 he's about

Speaker 150 into his 50s

Speaker 239 consider this your sign to skip the what's for dinner debate tonight. Outback Steakhouse has a three-course meal starting at just $14.99.

Speaker 239 Start with soup or salad, then take your pick of down-under entrees, like our juicy towering burger or flame-grilled shrimp.

Speaker 239 And for dessert, New York-style cheesecake, plus $8 cocktails all day, every day. Three courses, starting at $14.99.
Tell the group chat you'll see them at Outback. Price and participation may vary.

Speaker 1 What a wonderful story that was, James.

Speaker 29 One for the ages.

Speaker 3 Ah, it brings a tear to my eye.

Speaker 191 But is that tear still or sparkling?

Speaker 25 We've learned a lot about people from such a simple question, but even we were shocked by these two answers from Claudia Winkleman and Ovi Soko.

Speaker 62 Still sparkling water, Claudia.

Speaker 163 Um,

Speaker 110 neither.

Speaker 212 Thank you.

Speaker 117 I don't.

Speaker 212 I don't like or believe in it.

Speaker 166 I don't, I won't have it.

Speaker 66 I won't have it.

Speaker 212 If you're walking towards my table and there's a water glass on there and you lean forward, tap or spark, you know, it's a solid no.

Speaker 212 I've never knowingly had water. I don't like it.
The whole thing is arrogant and smug. There's just a whiff of check me out.

Speaker 110 And I don't, I don't, I won't have it.

Speaker 212 I won't have it around.

Speaker 78 Claudia, you're...

Speaker 47 You're sounding dangerously like one of those anti-face mask people at the moment.

Speaker 113 I love, no, it's not true.

Speaker 212 I love a face mask. I'm always in a face mask, but I don't...

Speaker 212 But then when people drink it, like my husband drinks water, great

Speaker 212 amounts of water, and I really like him, but it is, it's problematic.

Speaker 212 Don't touch me, Claude, take your bra off.

Speaker 164 Don't think so.

Speaker 71 That was disgusting.

Speaker 212 You should be ashamed of yourself.

Speaker 22 I'm a glugger.

Speaker 28 I get all my, like, my day's water.

Speaker 171 I'll just have it by the sink and glug it all down in big pint cups.

Speaker 212 like when you open your throat yeah just pour it in like a raw egg in rocky like yes ah this is going down yeah why i mean am i an old prune sure sure sure but i'm never thirsty i've never been thirsty you know there are people who are thirsty i've never been i'm 48 i'm entirely made of spray tan i've never you know people like oh i'd do anything for a drink That's because they've gone down the route of giving their bodies liquid.

Speaker 212 And so then they want more.

Speaker 85 The key is none.

Speaker 31 That's a really

Speaker 48 interesting theory you've got there.

Speaker 1 People are thirsty because they've drunk.

Speaker 212 No, I don't know why people are thirsty. Maybe they've been outside.
I don't go outside. So sure, there are things that can make one thirsty, but I don't want water anywhere near me with its,

Speaker 212 it's like yoga or hummus. It's just all check, you know, look at me, look what I can do for you.

Speaker 1 I'm not sure you can lump all those things together. I think water has probably more of a backstory than yoga and hummus.

Speaker 212 Listen, I know that water, my little one is doing the water cycle now, yada, yada. You know, evaporation, precipitation, whatever.
I get it. I like the sea.
I like looking at a river.

Speaker 174 Do I want to drink it?

Speaker 52 Do I want to ingest it?

Speaker 212 Do I want to hear myself swallow?

Speaker 212 It's a solid no. So thank you, lovely water waiter, but it's

Speaker 62 not here.

Speaker 110 Not on my watch.

Speaker 115 Move along.

Speaker 128 I will accept that you don't want water.

Speaker 9 That's fine.

Speaker 212 Did I go in too hard? It's because I'm

Speaker 9 skimming over your reasoning a little bit too much at this point because

Speaker 62 you are talking about water as if it's a fad, as if it's a new thing that people have got into that you think is ridiculous.

Speaker 117 No, all right.

Speaker 231 Can I expand on this?

Speaker 9 You can, but also you're going to have to expand on the fact that you think the reasons that you don't like what you claim that you've never been thirsty and that the reason for that might be because you've never been outside and you never want to hear yourself.

Speaker 34 I don't like water, which you think is limited to water at this point.

Speaker 212 I think one gets warm and thirsty when they are either doing some form of movement, which I don't do, or they're outdoors, you know, and suddenly everyone's in the sun, they're wearing flip-flops, they're holding massive bottles of water at the size of my nine-year-old.

Speaker 212 Oh, I'm so thirsty. Do you want some?

Speaker 234 Oh, we've got a straw.

Speaker 164 Oh, yeah, it's made of bamboo. I'm so thirsty.

Speaker 212 I don't leave my bed, but if I did leave my bed, so I don't really build up a thirst.

Speaker 174 You know what I mean?

Speaker 212 That's A.

Speaker 231 B, I don't like the taste of it.

Speaker 212 Sparkling is too much of a shock, right?

Speaker 1 Well, it isn't if you never drink water.

Speaker 62 I can imagine it is a shock.

Speaker 212 It's like a slap around the face of bubbles and liquid. There's too much going on.

Speaker 212 Oh my god, bubbles. And then it comes out of people's noses.
I'm only guessing here.

Speaker 113 And then,

Speaker 52 or there's just pure water.

Speaker 212 H2O.

Speaker 232 Look at me.

Speaker 212 How do you stay so beautiful?

Speaker 67 Oh, I just drink water.

Speaker 31 But I think this is James's point. I'm glad we've talked about it for too long.

Speaker 107 Well, no, not at all.

Speaker 11 Whenever you characterise someone who drinks water, you do it like it's a hipster thing, like it's only started, you know, since 2010.

Speaker 212 My parents don't drink water.

Speaker 232 They're completely anti-it.

Speaker 110 Right.

Speaker 212 No, they're not completely anti-it. I don't know if I've ever seen them.
Oh, my dad had a glass of water. Yeah, the other day.
And I questioned him about it.

Speaker 113 But

Speaker 113 why?

Speaker 9 Why would anyone see anyone else drinking a glass of water and go, a few questions?

Speaker 212 All right, imagine you're on a date, right? I mean,

Speaker 212 I've been with the same man for 100 years, but imagine you're on a date.

Speaker 212 You go in, he's all sort of twinkly and a little bit, you know, he's wearing a fisherman's sweater with some paint on it because sometimes he paints.

Speaker 212 And he's sitting there and he's like, I don't know what to have. What are you going to have? Maybe we should have the same thing.
And somebody comes around and they go, would you like some water?

Speaker 241 And he goes, yeah, sure.

Speaker 212 And they give him like a pint glass of water and he drinks the whole thing.

Speaker 212 Are you going to want to kiss this man?

Speaker 9 Or more?

Speaker 212 Are you going to what?

Speaker 164 No.

Speaker 73 Lovely white mouth.

Speaker 166 A wet mouth with a big, fleshy tongue that's covered in liquid.

Speaker 212 I want to like a dry, shriveled up little man. I want to sleep with Mr.

Speaker 232 Burns. He doesn't drink water.
I want him at the table. Oh, no, I won't have water.

Speaker 212 and then just sits there and nibbles on some crusty bread

Speaker 23 all right we come to your dream drink dream

Speaker 50 drink yeah yeah

Speaker 54 um i you know i i had a think about this one and and this one might be a bit on the boring side but i honestly i only drink water guys like i i genuinely genuinely

Speaker 118 only drink like i drink water sometimes you know i'd have a i'd have a beer on a night out or something like that but yeah i love water man like it's your dream drink is water

Speaker 55 that's my dream drink man that's my dream that's my dream you already have it you had sparkling water and now you're some

Speaker 62 we can double it up with still you're doubling

Speaker 217 up with still i'll take one of those um

Speaker 62 uh those little sachets that you can get a touch of fruit in there just a touch of flavor in there and we're gonna your dream drink cleanse the palate let me get this straight your dream drink is still water

Speaker 170 after still water after choosing spring water fresh fresh spring don't try and make yourself more exciting by saying it's fresh spring water that's that is way more exciting you can't taste the difference yeah there you go

Speaker 55 can you taste the difference between spring water and and normal tea i think i can taste the difference probably yes

Speaker 62 it's fresh

Speaker 203 the best quencher this is what your body's made like your body's what 60 70 warm or whatever it is yeah you you need it, man.

Speaker 62 A lot, yeah. I bet you've never heard that one before.

Speaker 124 No, there you go. It's the first time.

Speaker 11 I love that you thought this might be a bit on the boring side, and I was like, oh no, it's definitely not going to be.

Speaker 25 He's just a bit worried that his drink.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, it is, but it is, it's water. He's picked water, is his drink.

Speaker 55 There was a long pause that you left after saying it was going to be boring.

Speaker 9 And I literally, in that pause, thought to myself, what's boring?

Speaker 37 Water.

Speaker 23 We're not going to pick water. Maybe it's.

Speaker 55 And I know you went, water.

Speaker 62 Definitely.

Speaker 12 Thanks, Ovie.

Speaker 4 A wonderful drink to the sparkling water, sure.

Speaker 4 But the king of drinks, as we all know, is Diet Cola.

Speaker 62 Since the very beginning of this podcast, James has told the most boring story of all time about how he stopped drinking normal Coke and then started drinking Diet Coke and it tasted like normal coke to him.

Speaker 25 He gets it into every episode record.

Speaker 28 It very rarely makes the edit, but we will be playing one version of it here.

Speaker 11 It's a partner nuncherler's.

Speaker 172 Ed, do you want to tell a part of my Diet Coke story?

Speaker 74 Yes, James stopped drinking all caffeine

Speaker 55 a while ago. Yes.

Speaker 224 And then, including Diet Coke because that's got caffeine in it, of course.

Speaker 20 And then after many years, he decided to start drinking Diet Coke again because he needed to wake himself up for something.

Speaker 76 And because it had been so long since he drunk any Diet Coke or Coke, Diet Coke now just tastes like normal Coke to James.

Speaker 55 Yes.

Speaker 90 How's that for a life hack?

Speaker 42 now was that story more exciting when ed told it

Speaker 3 so i've told it i've told it many times on the podcast and it always gets nothing and the guests hate it i thought i would try it this time with ed telling it uh was it better I think because you told him to tell it, I thought there was some element of shame

Speaker 223 for you. Yes.
So I was automatically invested in it.

Speaker 112 Right, yeah. There's a bit more like, oh.

Speaker 90 Yeah. Yeah.
Something's going on here.

Speaker 20 Should next time I tell it, should I add a more shameful element to it?

Speaker 142 And then he drank Diet Coke again and he immediately shit his pants.

Speaker 223 Yeah, I do think if someone gives you permission to tell their story, you have full license.

Speaker 51 Yeah.

Speaker 111 Clear from the facts.

Speaker 112 You can do what they like.

Speaker 172 Like Tim Burton remaking Planet of the Apes.

Speaker 62 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 55 Exactly.

Speaker 55 Okay.

Speaker 34 Well, he also, I liked your version of it, and it was nice, but I would say, just as some feedback,

Speaker 42 you missed out you weren't as precise and specific about some details like yeah you said like james has cut out all caffeine but you didn't say like it was like how long ago it was it's 2013 or you i usually pinpoint it no i definitely made it less

Speaker 105 it was five years later yeah it was fun you said some years went by it was five years later and then i started drinking because i bring sort of a natural element to the storytelling sure you know people don't care about dates and things like that you know i'm i'm more of an anecdotalist than james and he's more of a sort of science guy okay apana would you like to have a turn at telling the story

Speaker 94 I know you've heard it once. Yeah.

Speaker 55 Okay. But you can ask me.
I can try.

Speaker 55 I can try.

Speaker 223 Okay. So,

Speaker 223 James, you stopped drinking caffeine

Speaker 223 at a time in your life when you really didn't want to be awake.

Speaker 132 Yes.

Speaker 223 And then

Speaker 177 five years later,

Speaker 223 all of your relationships started falling apart.

Speaker 223 Professionally, you were off track. So you decided you had to add some caffeine back to the mix and you went for Diet Coke.

Speaker 223 The regular Coke was there for you, but you couldn't handle the impact. Regular Coke at that point because you were weak from the lack of caffeine.

Speaker 223 And so

Speaker 223 now Diet Coke gives you the same kick from regular Coke. And at this point, a regular Coke might, in fact, kill you.

Speaker 3 That was the best anyone's ever told.

Speaker 4 Quite easily, the best has ever been told.

Speaker 94 Brilliant.

Speaker 75 Loved it.

Speaker 13 Couldn't have said it better myself, a partner.

Speaker 54 Thank you.

Speaker 25 Now, it often winds James up if his Diet Coke story gets cut out, and people have really cottoned on that winding James up is a very fun thing to do.

Speaker 25 And we've got a list of clips here as long as your arm.

Speaker 12 These bunch of punks.

Speaker 11 We've selected from the bunch of punks Jem Brister, Ivo Graham, Terry Hatchett, David Cross, and Dolly Wilson.

Speaker 59 So we arrive at your desserts.

Speaker 191 Are you much of a dessert?

Speaker 55 You are, aren't you? I love them.

Speaker 196 You love a pudding.

Speaker 104 I...

Speaker 211 Do you know what?

Speaker 235 There are days where I'm like, I'm totally down for this, but mostly not bothered.

Speaker 235 I don't, like, if we go out, if I go out for dinner, I never have a dessert.

Speaker 235 I will have a dessert wine. Yes.
Or I will have the cheese board.

Speaker 78 More bread.

Speaker 41 We are in.

Speaker 154 Yes.

Speaker 65 What are you about to do?

Speaker 62 What kind of territory are we in?

Speaker 243 What's your actual...

Speaker 105 Oh my God.

Speaker 84 I don't know. This feels tense I don't know if this is coming across in the past what's your what's your choice what's your actual dessert you're choosing now

Speaker 243 well I guess it'd be a cheese board

Speaker 235 I'm sensing, I don't know where I'm getting this from, but I'm sensing some kind of competition here. And I'm sensing, James, that you may have lost.

Speaker 110 Oh, I've lost everything.

Speaker 18 James, can't bear the idea of anyone not having a sweet thing for dessert and having a cheese board.

Speaker 55 Oh, really? And that's what

Speaker 11 I do it on a regular basis.

Speaker 104 So you wouldn't have one either.

Speaker 48 We went out for lunch at Tom Carriage's restaurant, and I picked the cheese board, and James was genuinely angry with me.

Speaker 232 What did you pick?

Speaker 227 I sat here with you.

Speaker 69 I'd asked you about your Itsuan.

Speaker 19 I had fun of you, about Fizzy wines.

Speaker 182 Oh man, I feel

Speaker 62 like this is a really tricky one.

Speaker 93 You opened up about my psoriasis

Speaker 201 and you sit there and you choose a goddamn cheeseboard for dessert.

Speaker 156 Jeannie, be quiet.

Speaker 14 I want to talk to Jen about what cheeses she likes. Okay, right.

Speaker 48 What's on the cheeseboard, Jen?

Speaker 243 I love

Speaker 235 a mixture of the soft and the hard.

Speaker 232 Excuse me, James.

Speaker 243 So I would have like a really, I don't know, a really stinky

Speaker 62 cambisola or something like that, or like a brie

Speaker 235 or a camembert or something. And then maybe like a harder cheese, like a grou, yeah?

Speaker 65 Yes, nice.

Speaker 243 I also quite like a cheddar bomber.

Speaker 95 Oh, okay, nice.

Speaker 99 Now, just in case the listener doesn't know what's going on, every time Jen mentions a cheese, James blows a raspberry like an orangutan.

Speaker 243 And does something with his thumb. Yeah.

Speaker 243 Okay, and then, yeah, so I'd have a mixture of those.

Speaker 116 Tell me, tell me, Jen.

Speaker 48 Yeah.

Speaker 72 You say you like a crew, yeah.

Speaker 48 Have you dipped your toes into the waters of comte before?

Speaker 235 I have, and I love a comte as well. I love a comte.
I love a comte.

Speaker 243 A little bit nutty.

Speaker 116 Very nutty. Yeah.

Speaker 116 Very well-aged comte.

Speaker 73 Yeah, very delicious.

Speaker 52 But what I insist on

Speaker 235 whilst the genie dry wretch is in the corner is that will there be enough crackers for the cheese?

Speaker 21 Because there are never.

Speaker 195 As many crackers as you like.

Speaker 55 You can even.

Speaker 11 I don't know if anyone. There's only enough crackers if your kids haven't been at

Speaker 142 the oat crackers.

Speaker 9 They're not here.

Speaker 177 That's the only way I can enjoy this meal.

Speaker 95 They are.

Speaker 23 Lucky.

Speaker 37 Lucky for them they're not here.

Speaker 90 I hate them to see their mother make such an awful decision.

Speaker 92 And we arrive at your dessert.

Speaker 68 The greatest dish of all.

Speaker 189 I think I'm going to disappoint James with the dessert.

Speaker 189 Because I do like desserts, but I just don't have desserts that often.

Speaker 81 I don't like whether this is good.

Speaker 42 And I don't feel good.

Speaker 14 I feel great.

Speaker 189 I told you we'd return to the Graham Hearth,

Speaker 189 and we're back at my parents' house. And

Speaker 189 my mum will occasionally make some lovely crumbles, apple crumbles up there, really nice apple crumble.

Speaker 189 But I think what I'm probably going to have is just a banana cut up in

Speaker 65 Yeo Valley yogurt.

Speaker 152 What?

Speaker 106 What?

Speaker 106 What?

Speaker 216 I was almost stealing myself a cheese and biscuits and it's somehow worse.

Speaker 245 A banana cut up in Yeo Valley Yoggett.

Speaker 196 You absolute trash man.

Speaker 213 You trash man with your trash family.

Speaker 65 The Graham half.

Speaker 62 The back of the Graham half.

Speaker 62 What's going to be in the Graham half?

Speaker 166 I

Speaker 245 dropped a banana in a Yeo Valley yogurt.

Speaker 173 Well, because my dad,

Speaker 55 that's his favourite thing.

Speaker 62 What?

Speaker 62 What? Who is he?

Speaker 9 How is that his favourite thing? Because my dad can't really,

Speaker 135 he doesn't cook.

Speaker 104 No!

Speaker 167 That is clear.

Speaker 143 He barely eats full of zona babies.

Speaker 92 He doesn't barely eat.

Speaker 143 He has a lovely.

Speaker 73 So it's either that or putitifaloo.

Speaker 167 I mean, petiti faloo.

Speaker 101 What, one on its own?

Speaker 135 A petit faloo on its own or with the chopped up banana. No, no, no.

Speaker 114 You use your

Speaker 143 loads of different petitifalus all over the place.

Speaker 189 No, no, no, there's no banana with the petit falo.

Speaker 41 The The putty faloo is just on its own.

Speaker 81 If we don't have banana, but we do have petit faloo.

Speaker 189 Well, no, I'm 29 and my dad's 48, 58.

Speaker 59 It doesn't matter.

Speaker 189 He...

Speaker 166 So, but so it's his...

Speaker 80 Usually,

Speaker 80 you know,

Speaker 189 it'll be my mum or increasingly my brother who cooks a lot, who'll put a lot of effort into a big mane, usually a lovely carbonara, and then pudding will be a bit of a bits and bobs afterthought.

Speaker 189 So there will be some cheese and biscuits, some grapes, but my dad's very, and his sort of eyes light up

Speaker 189 and he says,

Speaker 62 you wouldn't shop a banana into some yogurt for me, would you?

Speaker 143 And I would say, no, I wouldn't.

Speaker 189 But now I'm afraid

Speaker 101 I've spent the last two decades of my life drinking that gulp.

Speaker 136 The cratchets, Bob Cratchet, you found me on Christmas Day.

Speaker 42 Can you put brown sugar on,

Speaker 23 if that's one of your tobacco?

Speaker 226 Brown sugar elevates it slightly.

Speaker 92 And also

Speaker 172 you watch the brown sugar sort of dissolve in such a lovely golden way.

Speaker 226 So I'm aware of how brown sugar sinks into a yogurt.

Speaker 65 It looks aware.

Speaker 101 I'm familiar with that visual.

Speaker 91 And it does not save any of this.

Speaker 41 And a bit of squeezy honey.

Speaker 143 As well.

Speaker 21 Okay.

Speaker 21 Fine.

Speaker 62 So you know we're coming.

Speaker 143 Squeezy honey and brown sugar just made it better. But like, still, this is the absolutely...

Speaker 62 Also, Yo Valley makes me angrier.

Speaker 62 Well, it doesn't have to be Yo Valley.

Speaker 55 But maybe it's a Greek.

Speaker 135 And having some brown sugar and honey in it to...

Speaker 190 Why are you even bothering it?

Speaker 76 Because I think that's that's a way your dad asked the reaction this was gonna get the way your dad asks for it as well.

Speaker 80 Oh, you wouldn't mind chopping up a banana in the middle.

Speaker 105 No, no, no, he doesn't say that.

Speaker 13 He says,

Speaker 189 he says, you know what I like.

Speaker 120 And

Speaker 100 everyone goes, yes, the most boring thing in the world.

Speaker 189 No, it's not the most boring thing in the world. It's something sort of simple and rustic about it.
And from a very young age, I was able, as a man,

Speaker 101 I knew some of those simple things.

Speaker 143 I could hit you in the face, you were Tony and Oxford graduate.

Speaker 189 I knew something I could do that could make my dad happy, and that was to cut banana into some yo value yogurt and sprinkle some brown or muscovado sugar on top. And

Speaker 189 I'd have it as well, and everyone else would scoff much as much as you have.

Speaker 13 But

Speaker 189 it's basically my dad, particularly when

Speaker 189 he's spending like, my mum's not around for whatever reason, will live very much like a

Speaker 189 divorced man who's got no idea how to defend for himself. So he'll have beans on toast, and he'll have banana yogurt for pudding, and

Speaker 189 and those are two of my favourite things

Speaker 141 well of course we've got two two alumni of the Great British Bake Off sat in front of us it sounds like we had very different experiences yeah

Speaker 41 James do you want to talk Terry through what happened oh and yeah I'd call it an experience

Speaker 3 I was

Speaker 168 I was just very jet-lagged at the time.

Speaker 136 I just came back from here actually.

Speaker 35 Okay. And Terry, did you travel from here?

Speaker 246 Yeah, I traveled from here, so I'm not quite sure.

Speaker 246 I travel from here, so I'm not quite sure.

Speaker 64 Yes.

Speaker 178 But go ahead. I'm not trying to show you up right now.

Speaker 90 I probably did a different route back.

Speaker 198 Right, okay, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 144 You took the long way around, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 172 Yeah, and I had what I think is commonly just, I think this is a bacon term, but what is referred to as a waking nightmare.

Speaker 101 And

Speaker 23 everything fell apart.

Speaker 41 My flapjacks were just like a porridgey mess.

Speaker 172 I had to do a cream horn for the technical, which is I think a bit too hard for the technical.

Speaker 78 I think technical is my own.

Speaker 246 We had a cream pie.

Speaker 137 Yeah.

Speaker 94 Yeah.

Speaker 94 How did that go?

Speaker 180 How did you do on that?

Speaker 246 I finished mine and helped other people.

Speaker 106 Well,

Speaker 90 I know.

Speaker 90 I did neither of those things.

Speaker 246 Yeah, Alan Carr didn't know how to make custard, so I helped him make his custard.

Speaker 246 And then one of the other girls had an issue with her hand, so she couldn't pipe her whipped cream, so I went and did that because I was finished.

Speaker 104 Wow.

Speaker 144 Wow. That's how you do it, Joe.

Speaker 3 I don't know how you did that.

Speaker 233 I couldn't even think in like normal...

Speaker 41 My brain was all over the place.

Speaker 246 No, I will say the technical is hard. It's hard because

Speaker 246 the way it works with

Speaker 246 the directions, the very minimal directions they give, if you don't know what you're doing, it doesn't tell you.

Speaker 246 What to do. So you're right.
Like, if you don't know how to do it, it's not there.

Speaker 41 And that makes it very hard they knew what they were doing with us they just completely gave very little direction cream horns like pastry and like

Speaker 55 creme pat that's a lot of stuff going on there so you had to make the custard and then you had to pipe you had to make the corn and then you had to pipe it in yeah yeah and like i couldn't do anything no that sounds like it all fell apart that sounds like a lot and then the next day i had to make my uh make my special place out of uh out of oh it's meant to be i guess like cake and stuff but I just did it with sweets.

Speaker 37 Oh meringue, that was it.

Speaker 233 Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, but I had to make I ran my mouth off and told him I could make a theme park out of meringue, but I couldn't

Speaker 132 go well either.

Speaker 71 It went so badly, Terry, that he became a meme.

Speaker 55 Really? Meme? Wow. That's how badly it went.

Speaker 105 He became known as the worst baker in bake off history, and that's including that's not just a celeb one, that's like all of them.

Speaker 246 Oh, I'm sorry. That's not good.

Speaker 136 It was the best day of my life, Terry.

Speaker 152 Oh, he had a good time.

Speaker 55 I had a great great day.

Speaker 246 Did you like the show before, though?

Speaker 244 I mean, is that why, yeah.

Speaker 105 I've not watched an episode since.

Speaker 246 Where it's like trauma, like PTSD, you can't do it.

Speaker 172 I'd not be able to watch it.

Speaker 246 I was such a huge fan. And this was back a couple of years ago, at least.
And I think I was one of the first people in the States to be a huge, huge fan. Because when

Speaker 246 the offer came to me to do the thing for charity,

Speaker 246 it sort of got got came to me in a way of like, you probably don't want to do this, but here's this thing. And I was like, what?

Speaker 167 Of course I want to do it. Oh my God.

Speaker 246 And I went over there with two big suitcases packed full of 30 pounds worth of flour and all my own tools and all my flour.

Speaker 37 Yeah. How did that look at customs?

Speaker 55 I know.

Speaker 85 I was sweating it out on the plane.

Speaker 244 I thought I am completely getting arrested for this.

Speaker 55 Unmarked bags.

Speaker 246 But the producer called me like the day before I was supposed to leave and she said, you know, it just really dawned on me that our flour is different than your flour.

Speaker 246 And if you've been practicing with this stuff, like it might not work with what we have here so you better bring so i brought my own you better food color dye i brought my own yeah i brought a lot of stuff

Speaker 90 yeah i feel like you really prepared for it as well i did

Speaker 42 i might have been doing it with different flour

Speaker 71 that was your problem yeah at home when you practiced when i made my flap jacks did you practice at home once yeah i had one run-through with my sister it was easy because your sister did it yes

Speaker 172 but it looked very easy when i watched her doing it.

Speaker 199 I thought, this is going to be great.

Speaker 3 I'm going to nail this.

Speaker 246 Wasn't it pretty, though, the tent and the whole thing?

Speaker 59 Like,

Speaker 246 no, okay.

Speaker 83 I just kept saying, I can't believe I'm in this tent.

Speaker 111 I can't believe I'm in this tent. I really love that.

Speaker 134 I said that as well, but not in that tone.

Speaker 172 Also, when I did it, it was a very cold day.

Speaker 233 I don't know what the weather was.

Speaker 105 Yeah, it was cold.

Speaker 77 Yeah, so I was cold and rainy and stop trying to make excuses.

Speaker 55 Terry also flew from LA. It was also a cold day.

Speaker 138 She finished and

Speaker 138 wasn't cold, yeah.

Speaker 134 She probably could have finished and then come to your episode as well and helped you.

Speaker 23 That would have been good.

Speaker 246 I would next time. If you ever feel like you want to confront your fears or whatever, I could be your sous chef.

Speaker 89 Yeah, oh, that would be good.

Speaker 4 That'd be quite the team, actually.

Speaker 199 Like the worst and the best who have ever done it.

Speaker 134 I think team up together.

Speaker 20 I think the team is probably stretching the term.

Speaker 62 You just didn't.

Speaker 246 You just didn't practice. I bet you would.

Speaker 94 Yeah, I didn't practice.

Speaker 112 And, you know, oh, so many things.

Speaker 41 I guess, you know, cream pie is a bit easier than cream pork.

Speaker 55 I agree.

Speaker 82 You know, it's hard to do.

Speaker 138 I think you're right.

Speaker 105 I think you're right.

Speaker 90 What did you do for your Showstopper?

Speaker 192 So we had to do

Speaker 246 a rainbow cake, and

Speaker 246 it had to have at least six layers that represented all the colors.

Speaker 78 Wow.

Speaker 246 And it had to be at least two tiers.

Speaker 192 But so then I did 12 tiers.

Speaker 192 It's always overachiever.

Speaker 105 So I I did

Speaker 246 the bottom layer I did with the cake being the rainbow, all the different six colors.

Speaker 246 And then the top layer I did a white cake and I made lemon curd as the filling between the layers, but I changed the color so that the curd was all the different colors.

Speaker 246 So that when you cut into it, it was white cake with the rainbow in the filling, and then the bottom was

Speaker 246 rainbow cake with white filling.

Speaker 14 Absolutely incredible.

Speaker 42 I iced an egg.

Speaker 4 I piped some icing

Speaker 24 onto an egg so it looked like Sandy Toxvig.

Speaker 112 That's what I did. Yeah.

Speaker 96 I'm a sweet, savory guy.

Speaker 93 Okay,

Speaker 93 I can work with that.

Speaker 62 That's good to know.

Speaker 62 When

Speaker 96 it comes to dessert, almost every single time, either I don't have dessert or we'll get the cheese plate. Yes.

Speaker 96 I'm a cheese man.

Speaker 152 Fuggin hell.

Speaker 55 The moment I met you, David Crosser, I knew you were one of my people.

Speaker 154 This is incredible.

Speaker 55 Fuck you, David Cross.

Speaker 106 I quit.

Speaker 13 So

Speaker 48 is that what you're selecting, David?

Speaker 15 Are you selecting the cheese plate for your dream meal?

Speaker 69 No. Yes!

Speaker 7 I'm not going to select it.

Speaker 92 God bless America.

Speaker 96 I'm going to say, you know what? I've got, I'm just going to use logic here.

Speaker 69 Yeah.

Speaker 96 I have enough room for dessert. I don't need a whole lot of dessert.

Speaker 96 And dessert's usually, you know, slice of pie or whatever it is. But I do have some room for dessert.
And rather than the cheese plate,

Speaker 96 because then I'd have to switch to wine. Yeah.
And I've had too much beer at this point.

Speaker 69 I mean,

Speaker 96 I mean, we're at like seven pints at this point.

Speaker 96 And so I don't want to switch to wine. So forget the cheese.
So I'm going to have some more poutine.

Speaker 62 Yes.

Speaker 7 This is great.

Speaker 92 Oh, I thought I was safe.

Speaker 183 I thought, oh, it's okay.

Speaker 62 For a minute there,

Speaker 42 for a minute there, I felt like when at the Oscars when they said La La Land one.

Speaker 183 And I was like, no, it was like, yeah.

Speaker 143 But now it's like they went, La La Land one. Oh, no, sorry.
We made a mistake.

Speaker 135 La La Land one.

Speaker 13 What was great about that is the look of glee on David's face when he said that.

Speaker 101 A, because he knew it was going to upset James, and B, because just the idea of just, oh, more poutine, please.

Speaker 143 Book ended it with poutine.

Speaker 42 I think that's a wonderful choice.

Speaker 96 You know, comes full circle.

Speaker 55 Yeah.

Speaker 23 We come to the dessert.

Speaker 200 Very exciting.

Speaker 62 The headliner of the meal for a reason is the best.

Speaker 211 Not for me.

Speaker 86 So if I'm hungover and I want to get the £12

Speaker 115 cheesecake slice, that's the only time I'll ever have a real hankering for sweet stuff.

Speaker 86 I haven't got that much for sweet tooth. So if I may, am I allowed to have cheese instead of pudding?

Speaker 62 Yes.

Speaker 149 Oh no.

Speaker 62 He's left.

Speaker 1 James has left the Zoom call.

Speaker 109 He's literally left.

Speaker 117 For loyal listeners, you will know what happens when people order cheese.

Speaker 22 It's the first time it's happened on a Zoom episode and I wondered what might have happened and he simply left the Zoom call.

Speaker 28 This is an order that has made him scream in an elected MP's face before.

Speaker 30 Okay, we've just taken a quick pause there just to explain what happened.

Speaker 16 When Dolly picked her cheese for dessert, which is perfectly reasonable to have for a dessert, James got really angry, slammed his laptop to leave the Zoom.

Speaker 116 and messed up the recording.

Speaker 25 So we've had to come to another

Speaker 171 website to record the rest of the podcast because James ruined the whole recording by being a little angry boy and

Speaker 12 getting all pissy about cheese, didn't you, mate?

Speaker 6 No regrets. Don't regret.
Stand by it.

Speaker 35 Completely stand by it.

Speaker 23 You're lucky that I bothered to reopen the laptop.

Speaker 62 I didn't throw the laptop out the window.

Speaker 66 Also, I really like, I like when you can really cost out the price of a joke.

Speaker 66 The cost of that physical gag, I think, was totally worth it.

Speaker 44 Yeah.

Speaker 11 And also, you call it a joke, but I think he's quite serious.

Speaker 18 He also normally gets to shout at the guests and he gets to get all that anger and aggression out towards the cheese.

Speaker 11 But now he's

Speaker 1 slammed the laptop and you can still see he's seething.

Speaker 124 It's bubbling away there.

Speaker 35 Yeah. Well, I thought by slamming the laptop, I didn't have to listen to

Speaker 42 the awful chat that now has to follow.

Speaker 94 Dolly lists a bunch of disgusting cheese and biscuits that she wants instead of a delicious pudding.

Speaker 42 But now I have to still listen to this bit.

Speaker 16 Oh, James, you didn't play it cool that day, did you?

Speaker 23 Those people.

Speaker 5 I do not regret shutting my laptop on Dolly Alderton.

Speaker 8 She absolutely deserved it. And all those people, by the way, now have IBS.

Speaker 34 Thank you, Sarah Millikan.

Speaker 29 I don't get wound up as often, James, but when I do, oh boy, I flip my lid.

Speaker 25 So let's hear a couple of clips now from a couple of people winding me up.

Speaker 39 But I'll let you in on a secret.

Speaker 18 Sometimes it's you two that wind me up.

Speaker 36 Me and the benegorgon proud here's diane morgan and hari kondabolu ed you deserve everything you get

Speaker 249 starter diane yeah all right so first thing i don't believe in starters oh no I never

Speaker 21 I never never have a starter.

Speaker 249 What is the point in starters?

Speaker 191 Just give me my main meal.

Speaker 65 Oh, a point of a starter.

Speaker 1 Well, how about a bonus mini main before the main main?

Speaker 54 No, no.

Speaker 55 No, point less.

Speaker 195 It's just

Speaker 249 more ways of getting money out of you, isn't it?

Speaker 11 Yeah, it's a Swizz. It's a Swizz.

Speaker 40 You can't.

Speaker 249 Do you want a smaller meal before the

Speaker 231 you actually want?

Speaker 178 No.

Speaker 48 You're the one who's just eating marmalade on a poppadub.

Speaker 50 Yeah.

Speaker 201 To be fair, that was weird.

Speaker 249 You forced me into it, though. I didn't actually want it.

Speaker 78 You said you were a shredheaded. You ate the whole poppadub before the barbalade on it.

Speaker 249 So anyway, no starter for me.

Speaker 178 Thank you.

Speaker 113 No, it's a pass.

Speaker 125 It's another pass.

Speaker 9 Greg Davis did this.

Speaker 6 Also, here's what might interest you, because I'm getting the heebie jeebies now.

Speaker 9 You might be able to see I've got goosebumps and my hairs are standing on end.

Speaker 88 Greg Davis chose poppadoms.

Speaker 35 Greg Davis said that his favourite...

Speaker 9 thing to have pop-doms with was lime pickle and that he loves lime pickle to the extent that he complained that his local curry house has stopped doing lime pickle and they put it back on the menu and called it greg's pickle afterwards after the podcast had gone gone out and he also said pass on the starter yes he's the only person to have done that you are the second person to have done it yes and you like the lime pickle but this is very exciting that's amazing I think you really get on

Speaker 160 what do you do though on a night if you're eating out with people and everyone else orders a starter what do you do don't have a starter so you just sit there while everyone else eats their starter yep oh yeah how do you like that i try and persuade them not to have a starter oh you're the worst diane doesn't have to worry about passing the starter and everyone else having their starter.

Speaker 9 She'd be chatting to Greg Davis. They're both not having starters together.
Probably splitting a jar of lime pickle together.

Speaker 11 But surely has there ever been a starter on a menu that you've thought, oh, actually.

Speaker 109 Yeah, I have.

Speaker 176 I have.

Speaker 249 Actually, sometimes the starters are nicer than the mains, aren't they? So I'll have two starters instead of the main.

Speaker 55 What is this?

Speaker 46 It absolutely flipped around.

Speaker 11 No, I thought I'd flipped her around and then she came back and said she'd have two starters instead of a main.

Speaker 9 You do your own kind of like impromptu tapas.

Speaker 42 You change the restaurant.

Speaker 249 Yeah, I won't be sort of, you know, pushed into having a starter.

Speaker 9 Am I right in thinking we are just passing on the start and going straight to the main course?

Speaker 109 Yes.

Speaker 11 It's always so disappointing.

Speaker 249 Don't you think it's the way that life's going now, isn't it? Everyone's getting so greedy for stuff.

Speaker 249 No, it's not funny, Ed.

Speaker 248 Am I allowed to take a bite out of this rugula that you have brought? Yes.

Speaker 144 Is that what that is?

Speaker 91 Yes, I bought it along with me, Ed.

Speaker 112 I got it from Rustin and Daughters.

Speaker 90 Must Rustin Daughters.

Speaker 74 Less said about that, the better, James.

Speaker 12 And you knew I wanted to go there and you went there without me.

Speaker 37 It's chocolate. And what is that?

Speaker 216 Ed, we can go together.

Speaker 22 I don't want to go with you.

Speaker 76 I'm going by myself.

Speaker 16 That seems to be the way people do things around here.

Speaker 90 Oh, Ed.

Speaker 76 I'm going to go and get a bagel by myself, and then I'm going to eat some Tody's Choco Lonely.

Speaker 55 Oh, no.

Speaker 136 Eddie Choco Lonely.

Speaker 105 Eddie bagel lonely.

Speaker 245 Eddie bagel lonely.

Speaker 22 I'm not organising any more food trips during this.

Speaker 105 I'm not choosing any more restaurants for all of us together.

Speaker 11 I'm only going to places by myself for a long time.

Speaker 1 A single bagel.

Speaker 48 Well, it's a single bagel that you knew I wanted.

Speaker 191 You could have had it. We want to go again with you.

Speaker 64 Well, bad luck.

Speaker 104 Why?

Speaker 28 You will not be getting my list of restaurants that I was planning on.

Speaker 216 I don't understand.

Speaker 105 I'm going by myself.

Speaker 167 But can't we? We can be with you.

Speaker 191 Like, do you have to be there when we have it for the first time? Yes.

Speaker 64 Oh.

Speaker 192 Because we're here together.

Speaker 74 I will say Terrace Bagels, which is a block away from here, is fantastic.

Speaker 48 If you do it. Is it better than Russ and Daughters? I can't tell you.
I don't know.

Speaker 76 Why did all your friends go to Russ and Daughters without you as well?

Speaker 105 Isn't Russ and Daughters a chain?

Speaker 37 Yeah, there's a few of them around New York.

Speaker 105 No, they've been to all of them. They probably went yesterday.

Speaker 216 No, we've just been to one. Me and Benito went to one.
We had to leave earlier than Ed.

Speaker 201 You didn't have to?

Speaker 62 We thought, you know, oh, we were hungry.

Speaker 168 Benito was like, I'm so hungry.

Speaker 191 And we're like, let's look for a place.

Speaker 121 And we're like, oh, there's a Russ and Daughters right there.

Speaker 216 So we just went, we just looked on the maps and then we just thought, we'll just go there and get one.

Speaker 76 And you knew, as soon as you made that decision, I bet someone said, Ed'll be annoyed if we go there without him.

Speaker 21 No,

Speaker 105 we didn't say that, we didn't think that that would happen.

Speaker 64 You should know me better.

Speaker 167 We thought it would be okay.

Speaker 16 Sorry, Harry, I don't like that you have to witness it.

Speaker 136 Oh, Eddie Bagel lonely.

Speaker 37 What is this?

Speaker 62 It's arugula.

Speaker 55 But what does that mean? It's, isn't it?

Speaker 105 I thought arugula was rocking.

Speaker 248 Yeah, that's arugula. This is uh

Speaker 248 R-U-G-E-L-A-C-H. Is that right?

Speaker 38 R-E-G-E-L-A-C-H.

Speaker 101 That's right. Correct.

Speaker 112 Five points to Hari.

Speaker 41 Isn't it?

Speaker 74 It's like a Jewish

Speaker 55 cookie, right?

Speaker 181 Yeah, it's like a little like, it's like a Jewish Swiss roll.

Speaker 62 It's lovely.

Speaker 93 From what I can see.

Speaker 75 It does look very nice.

Speaker 42 It's very nice, filled with chocolate, raspberry, apricot, depending on different ones there.

Speaker 181 It's an assorted one.

Speaker 35 Pastry that goes round in the spiral.

Speaker 14 I'm very hungry, of course, because I haven't eaten today.

Speaker 90 Oh, dear.

Speaker 18 You'll be happy to know that the next day I went went out and got one of those bagels and I bought James and Benito one in an act of what I like to call passive aggressive kindness.

Speaker 94 Yep, and guess what?

Speaker 34 We just liked the bagels and that was it.

Speaker 23 He thought we were gonna feel bad because we hadn't invited him the day before.

Speaker 94 But all that happened was we got two bagels and Ed paid for one of them.

Speaker 201 Yeah.

Speaker 25 About $18, ridiculous.

Speaker 62 It was brilliant.

Speaker 248 I love it.

Speaker 4 I love it in Russ and Daughters when you see the man slicing up the salmon in front of you.

Speaker 198 Even that is like a delicious mini meal before the main meal that's what i like to call uh some things it's a no that's what i call a starter don't you

Speaker 4 you're all winding me up as much as richard herring wound us up oh i remember richard herring winding us up the whole time richard herring was so ridiculous on that episode that one of my girlfriend's friends genuinely said to her that she felt sorry for us in that episode because a competition winner from the public had got on and didn't understand how the show worked but it was actually a professional comic named richard heron let's hear hear from the professional comic Richard Herring.

Speaker 209 I don't want to eat anything I can eat, you know, now.

Speaker 250 Yes, and this is something I would, this again, this is something from my past that is genuinely my favorite dessert, and you won't know what it is because it's uh, it's it's called Bella's Pudding, and it's named it's named after

Speaker 124 my grandma's friend, who's called Bella, not pudding, Bella.

Speaker 61 She made

Speaker 247 she was called Bella Pudding.

Speaker 250 She made a

Speaker 50 now,

Speaker 250 I didn't like the top part of it.

Speaker 209 The top part was like meringue that you get on lemon meringue pie.

Speaker 124 I wasn't that bothered about it, right? But the bottom bit, the bottom part of it.

Speaker 162 You didn't like the top part of it.

Speaker 62 What are you doing, Richard?

Speaker 213 I didn't really,

Speaker 124 but the bottom part.

Speaker 213 In every course so far, there's been a bit that you don't want to eat of it.

Speaker 250 You sometimes have to put up with something you don't want to get to the thing that you really love.

Speaker 213 Not in your dream meal!

Speaker 124 You do.

Speaker 117 Well,

Speaker 117 I could say don't put the marang on top.

Speaker 251 But it was this like set caramel dessert.

Speaker 209 Like I got a, not quite a mousse.

Speaker 250 I can't even describe what it is. My grandma could make it.
Bella presumably could make it.

Speaker 209 I never met Bella.

Speaker 247 So my pudding comes in three parts, but all parts are Bella's pudding.

Speaker 1 I would like to have a Bella's pudding made by Bella, which I never got to taste to see how my grandma did.

Speaker 250 I would like a Bella's pudding made by my grandma, which is the most delicious pudding I've ever eaten.

Speaker 209 If you scooped up the pudding

Speaker 247 and just ate the

Speaker 250 really nice set caramel, just I love caramel, but it was just incredible.

Speaker 247 And I'd like the attempt that my mum and my sister did after my grandma was no longer making it, which wasn't anywhere near as good.

Speaker 250 And I'd like to taste all three blind-tasted and work out and be able to identify which was which.

Speaker 247 It reminds me of my grandma, who's no longer with with us.

Speaker 44 And it was a unique and amazing dessert.

Speaker 250 And

Speaker 250 I like ice cream, especially.

Speaker 209 I love caramel stuff.

Speaker 107 And it was this just amazing, like cooked caramel, I think.

Speaker 209 Because it had meringue on the top, so it must have been cooked somehow.

Speaker 134 Was it like a creme caramel?

Speaker 23 Was it like a wobbly kind of, or was it like a toffeed cinder block?

Speaker 107 What are you talking about?

Speaker 250 It was it was somewhere, it wasn't like,

Speaker 209 creme caramel is one of my least favourite desserts because I don't like the texture of it so it wasn't that kind of that sort of weird texture that you get with creme caramel it was more like a mousse but it was not quite it was sort of set but you know you put a spoon in and you wouldn't you didn't have to dig it would come so it was mousse like but

Speaker 147 set like a like a sea it wasn't there was there wasn't bubbles in it I don't think I think it was just this brown caramel.

Speaker 162 Again, I don't really remember much about it.

Speaker 250 That's why I would like to have it again.

Speaker 107 Yeah.

Speaker 43 So two of your courses so far you've demanded different versions of the same thing to test to see which is the best one.

Speaker 117 Look, I'm gonna make the most of this opportunity.

Speaker 250 Do you not listen to the thing I said about Desert Island discs? I have the opportunity to travel in time, to get meals that I've forgotten about, to get meals that I know I will never taste again.

Speaker 250 And people on here choosing bloody pizzas and McDonald's and Nando's. No, Bella's pudding.

Speaker 247 Who else has chosen Bella's pudding? No one.

Speaker 25 Thanks, Richard.

Speaker 12 So many great stories, anecdotes, and food-based revelations have been on the podcast, James, and those are my words.

Speaker 4 Yes, I even taught everyone about the origin of crisps.

Speaker 42 I'm a very wise and learned man.

Speaker 4 So, here, with some great stories, anecdotes, and food-based revelations, is Sam Carter, Susie Essman, Amy Hoggart, Michael McKean, Russell Howard, Rosheen Connerty, Romesh Ranganathan, and myself.

Speaker 55 James, The Origin of Crisps Acastor, talking to Catherine Cohen.

Speaker 35 I used to hate sparkling water.

Speaker 151 I used to despise it.

Speaker 151 When we were touring in Europe when we were younger, I was not about it at all, but it was just all that they seemed to have.

Speaker 156 So you'd be on stage and be like, oh, I'm so thirsty.

Speaker 69 You go and pick up a big bottle of water, go to down it, and be like, whoa, what's happening here?

Speaker 7 Not on stage.

Speaker 62 You'd be burping and worse.

Speaker 22 Terrible, terrible to quench a thirst. Yeah.

Speaker 188 But now, over the last two, three years, I think, yeah, I've got really into sparkling.

Speaker 68 Would burps quite help, though, in metal voting?

Speaker 144 Maybe, that's a new start.

Speaker 112 I was listening to,

Speaker 81 I'll now get the name wrong.

Speaker 54 Thurgoffin.

Speaker 23 Thurgoffin.

Speaker 75 How are you spelling that?

Speaker 59 It's a funeral doom.

Speaker 143 So T-H-E-R.

Speaker 107 Oh, yeah, you told me.

Speaker 59 T-H-O-N. Right, yeah.
Thurgoffin. Yeah.

Speaker 23 Amazing album, but he does sound like he's burping.

Speaker 234 A lot of that black metal.

Speaker 37 there is a real sort of low sort of like it sort of sounds like they're not really making much of an effort yeah or they're really sad about the fact that they have to sing like that it sounds like he's doing that thing we used to see how long you could go uh yeah yeah mayhem are like that there's a band called mayhem that just sound like the singers burping yeah like really nasty I've only done a little bit of baking recently, but you've got to leave it until it's then twice the size and you're trying to walk.

Speaker 23 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 240 Let it rise, which is kind of fun, because then you get to beat it.

Speaker 177 Yeah.

Speaker 240 You get to beat the crap out of a thing of dough, which is fun.

Speaker 180 Would you think about anything in particular while you were beating up the dough?

Speaker 240 It depends. You know, I get asked this question a lot about, you know, how I work up my anger for my character, for Susie Green on curve.

Speaker 240 And there's always, now my trigger's so easy, you know, because I have this asshole in chief here that I could just use him.

Speaker 240 But, you know, there's always something. I mean, I brought up teenagers.
There was always something.

Speaker 62 Yeah.

Speaker 94 Is it, you know. I was then thinking about who the asshole in chief was.

Speaker 42 I was like, oh, yeah, it's Donald Trump.

Speaker 85 But we don't say his name.

Speaker 59 For a while, I was like,

Speaker 42 Larry seems like a nice person.

Speaker 138 No, it's not Larry. It's not Larry.
I love Larry.

Speaker 240 Larry's one of my best friends.

Speaker 223 I love him. Yeah.

Speaker 59 Yeah.

Speaker 24 So do you find that you find the character easier to access now?

Speaker 240 She's always been easy to access for me because it's so much fun. Yeah.
You know, you just scream and yell and tell everybody to go fuck themselves. I show up to set, you know, they fly me to LA.

Speaker 240 The other thing about when you're on set, they feed you all day. Yeah.
You know, this craft service, you know what craft service is.

Speaker 240 It's just like deliciousness all day long and choices and then catering. We always have a great caterer.
And I love when you don't have to think about your food when it's just provided for you.

Speaker 240 Because to me, every night is like, all right, what are we going to do for dinner? It's like the stress and the anxiety of it.

Speaker 240 And when I had kids at home and the meal prep, and now they're all in their late 20s and they all, you know, live on their own. But they come home and it's, what are we doing for dinner?

Speaker 162 What am I?

Speaker 242 The meal preparer? for the rest of your life i have to prepare your meals you figure it out here's money go to the store do we talk an amuse bush yeah go on

Speaker 62 wang over absolutely and what is it this time jam peas in a pod peas in a pod oh nice i love peas yeah better remember that for all the food stuff in a minute do you love peasy loves peas one day um I ate mushy peas three times and then I had peas for dinner.

Speaker 83 On my watch on my way back from a festival.

Speaker 149 No one could believe it.

Speaker 71 On your way back from a festival?

Speaker 77 Yeah.

Speaker 236 Like I ate mushy peas at the festival.

Speaker 48 So they served mushy peas at the festival.

Speaker 236 Yeah, it was like a you know breakfast thing. Yeah.

Speaker 62 Breakfast. I don't know.
I can't explain it, but I ordered it.

Speaker 236 And then we went on like a ferry or something. It was on the Isle of Wight.
Went on a ferry and then mushy peas.

Speaker 66 On the ferry, I had some.

Speaker 236 And then we got to a service station and I thought it would be funny to get them again just to make my friends laugh.

Speaker 236 And then when I got back, mum had made peas for dinner.

Speaker 76 Just peas.

Speaker 97 With other stuff.

Speaker 62 Yeah.

Speaker 85 I mean, that is incredible.

Speaker 40 It's a lot of fun.

Speaker 14 And you were, just to think, Amy, you were worried about coming on the food podcast because you didn't think you had enough food-based material.

Speaker 37 The first food that's mentioned, you've got a whole anecdote about it.

Speaker 42 A whole anecdote at the time you ate loads of mushy peas and then peas.

Speaker 236 Yeah, that's my only food story.

Speaker 111 Well, thanks for coming on the podcast.

Speaker 236 I'll expand on it. Thank you.
Thanks for having me.

Speaker 48 Very exciting. James has only started doing the amuse bouches recently.

Speaker 211 I really like it.

Speaker 236 It went very well from my perspective.

Speaker 48 Every time he does it now, I can see him suggest the amuse bouche and then panic because he's not thought of what it's going to be.

Speaker 236 Did you have it pre-planned?

Speaker 220 No. Oh,

Speaker 93 I did not know I was going to say peas in a pod, so it was amused even to me.

Speaker 59 I was amused by it. You were amused by it.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 55 But worked out quite nicely.

Speaker 17 Did it work out well from an anecdote perspective?

Speaker 180 Yeah, straight into the mushype's anecdote.

Speaker 236 I so, I mean, you needn't say mushy peas. Now, that being a moose bouche, I really, really, really like.

Speaker 81 Yeah.

Speaker 59 You love them.

Speaker 236 But I just tweaked it a bit.

Speaker 55 I wouldn't have thought

Speaker 89 that you would like mushy peas.

Speaker 58 Why?

Speaker 77 Because...

Speaker 99 Amy's immediately on the offensive.

Speaker 7 She's really confused.

Speaker 112 I mean, we don't know each other very well, obviously.

Speaker 62 That's true.

Speaker 42 You and Ed, brother and sister, it's fine.

Speaker 78 But I.

Speaker 59 Obviously.

Speaker 59 I don't really know you very well.

Speaker 94 So I just had...

Speaker 63 But when I've been around you and you've been eating food and talking about food and talking about your day-to-day routine, it sounds very healthy.

Speaker 23 Right.

Speaker 81 And so mushy peas is what I would not...

Speaker 94 I would not regard it as that, but I guess it's a bit of a...

Speaker 56 It is a healthy food that you've you've kind of cheated and made it it looks like it's unhealthy but it's actually quite healthy I don't know if it's healthy I mean it's peas but like they add stuff they add stuff but I don't even know if it is it peas because sometimes it's like I have two I've just realized I've got two more mushy peas adding

Speaker 62 yes

Speaker 236 oh it's even possible you know Edinburgh Fringe Festival yes

Speaker 236 I find it very stressful very stressful because it's an unpleasant time yeah

Speaker 236 and so one thing that got me through the last two years was if I couldn't sleep in the night or whatever,

Speaker 55 I would get up.

Speaker 236 Maybe just any time of day, actually, or night. If I was stressed, I would comfort eat mushroom peas out of a tin from little.

Speaker 176 And I would eat them.

Speaker 64 Out of the tin, cold.

Speaker 178 Cold.

Speaker 55 And that would relax you, would it?

Speaker 90 With salt.

Speaker 221 So if you were a bit sad, you'd eat mushroom peas out of a tin and that would make you feel okay about your life.

Speaker 55 It would have made me feel better.

Speaker 22 No, no, no, no.

Speaker 55 That would have really been.

Speaker 236 It would probably happen like a few times, but one of my friends came up in London just because I was struggling. and I said this is my weird habit one of them and she

Speaker 211 she did it too and she really liked it so you dragged your friends down with you up yeah

Speaker 138 you inspired her yeah so she wasn't like oh my god I do that too no she said that's rough but I'll do it with you like you know we're in this together and then she liked it Joanna

Speaker 42 Joanna Fleck Joanna Fleck just does whatever you say she came up from London because you were having a bad time yeah so she just dropped everything and came to London and came to Edinburgh she really loves and then she ate some mushy peas with you because you were doing it.

Speaker 54 Yeah.

Speaker 97 I don't really do that anymore.

Speaker 74 Right, so that's anecdote number one.

Speaker 71 That's number two from the Promise Three

Speaker 48 Mushy Peas anecdotes.

Speaker 236 Yeah, the other one's actually quite sad. I don't know whether to tell it, but it was when I moved.

Speaker 221 The last one was sad, by the way.

Speaker 37 All three have been.

Speaker 77 I'd say the first one wasn't happy.

Speaker 48 No, I like the first one because you were eating it to make your friends laugh.

Speaker 9 You were trying to make your friends laugh.

Speaker 118 Was Joanna Fleck one of your friends on the trip from the Isle of Wight?

Speaker 225 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 152 She was.

Speaker 41 that's good to hear, though, because otherwise, I would have hated her.

Speaker 94 Tell her why.

Speaker 235 She wasn't there.

Speaker 98 Oh, she wasn't there.

Speaker 198 Oh, okay.

Speaker 41 Back to sadness again.

Speaker 37 Flex on your amount for the bad size.

Speaker 42 That's what's sad.

Speaker 78 You don't evolve fleck when you're having a laugh.

Speaker 54 No, she doesn't get good, Amy.

Speaker 48 So, mushy pee anecdote number three.

Speaker 22 It's sad.

Speaker 236 When I moved to the States, I was really worried about it because I didn't really want to come.

Speaker 51 Sorry, America.

Speaker 236 And my boyfriend at the time was trying to be caring and sweet. So he made me mushy peas.

Speaker 117 But

Speaker 51 it was just like peas and cream.

Speaker 236 What? Which is not mushy peas. So the one I remembered it was because you said it's healthy.

Speaker 85 It's creamy peas.

Speaker 97 It reminds me of the far show, teasing peas,

Speaker 151 which I wouldn't eat.

Speaker 188 No, no.

Speaker 236 And

Speaker 236 but I didn't have any food the next day, so all I ate was creamy peas.

Speaker 105 Oh, is he did it?

Speaker 104 He did eat the house.

Speaker 27 Gary Goodrow took me. I said, what's a good place to eat around here? He says, okay, well, I'm going to take you to Ken Shopson's restaurant.

Speaker 23 It's called Shopson's.

Speaker 27 He says, you're going to like it. It doesn't even look like a restaurant, and it doesn't say restaurant anywhere.
It says Shopson's General Store, Groceries.

Speaker 81 What? Because that's what it was.

Speaker 27 It was a little corner store in Greenwich Village. So he took me there, and this menu was insane.
The guy who runs the place, Kenny Shopson, was a real amazing character.

Speaker 27 This big guy, always wore a headband, always had a t-shirt that looked like it hadn't been changed in decades. is this

Speaker 27 kitchen much smaller about half the size of the room we're in so it was like it was a phone booth and the menu had something like 300 items on it and no one knew how he did it but he came up with stuff so I'd scanned this and I said oh my god cashew tomato cream soup and I had it was like the best soup I'd ever had in my life and it had it had cabbage in it I don't like cabbage but it was delicious it was insane so I got that every time I went there every time I went there there.

Speaker 27 And so it got to be where, you know, Kenny would say, he'd see me come. Hey, Mikey, sit down.
He'd say, are you going to have this? I say, yeah, I'm going to have the soup.

Speaker 27 So one day I ordered the soup and he says, I'm not going to make it for you.

Speaker 45 I'm tired of making you the soup.

Speaker 27 I'm going to make you something else. No, Kenny, I'm going to make you something else.

Speaker 27 It's freezing outside.

Speaker 27 I'm going to make you something. I'm going to get you a turkey sandwich.
I said, I get a turkey sandwich anywhere.

Speaker 27 And he says, all right, if it's not the best turkey sandwich you ever had, you don't have to pay for it. It was easily the best turkey sandwich I've ever had.
This guy was amazing

Speaker 161 i would also have my nan there i'd bring her back with all her lovely psoriasis

Speaker 161 and me and her would make flapjacks because it's a thing we used to do when we were kids when i was a kid not her

Speaker 161 and um we'd make flapjacks together it was like this weird thing we did um and then we'd put them in the bin because we didn't really like flapjacks and

Speaker 161 genuinely did this and it used to drive my mum insane like she just

Speaker 225 couldn't get her head around it did you just just say yeah you and your grandmother used to make flapjacks together and then put them in the bin yeah yeah just it was so much fun like i don't know where it started this weird weird tradition of like just it go put them in the bin and just we we'd show it to mum and she'd watch us doing it and just going this is getting ridiculous now it's just this lovely little game we had um at any point did you did you think we like cooking together let's make something we like we liked the anger it produced from my mum more than we did the cooking.

Speaker 150 We cooked to get to the

Speaker 150 exasperation.

Speaker 117 Yes.

Speaker 161 Because we knew that in about an hour and a half's time, we were going to see my mum eat from a bin.

Speaker 117 That's the game we were playing.

Speaker 206 My big television idea.

Speaker 22 Bearing in mind, you have a very successful sitcom already, Roshine.

Speaker 43 This is your big television idea.

Speaker 211 It's called Animals Meeting Animals.

Speaker 206 And it's just animals who wouldn't have met other animals. And we just watched them meet.

Speaker 206 Four hours on a Sunday, if you're hungover and you just watch a horse meet an owl, you watch a donkey meet a fish. You just watch, you bring them to places that they wouldn't have met.

Speaker 206 And a mouse meeting a bat.

Speaker 211 Yes, I want to get up for that.

Speaker 109 Thanks.

Speaker 208 A donkey meeting a fish.

Speaker 211 No, maybe not a fish, but like a dolphin.

Speaker 117 Also,

Speaker 117 you gave examples of animals that could quite possibly meet.

Speaker 85 A horse meeting an owl.

Speaker 1 That completely makes sense.

Speaker 206 Being in the same, meeting each other, probably, okay, a rabbit meeting a uh

Speaker 9 goat but like meeting each other

Speaker 207 that's still that's still gonna happen a bear meeting a

Speaker 35 uh a bear meeting a sheep yeah sheep's dead the end of that episode is that the sheep is absolutely dead and the bear is destroying it's the problem why i haven't actually made this show is because i because of the death

Speaker 193 you don't have a bunch of dolphins pushing around a donkey corpse in the water just passing a donkey between themselves as it floats slowly on the top of the surface.

Speaker 207 A tiger meeting a...

Speaker 206 I feel like I've got a pitch meeting and it's gone really quite.

Speaker 62 Yeah, but you stop stop stop naming predators.

Speaker 193 Stop going a tiger.

Speaker 193 Learn from the bear thing.

Speaker 253 Okay, a bear.

Speaker 92 No, not a bear.

Speaker 253 Okay.

Speaker 253 A rabbit meeting a lamb.

Speaker 55 Yeah, that sounds nice.

Speaker 87 Right.

Speaker 206 But eat they could meet in the field though yeah but you know we haven't seen it i haven't seen it i presume they do meet i'm just saying let's capture this let's see them meet and see them going i just want to see the first time a lamb's like what's that

Speaker 126 um i um i really love the vegan doughnuts from crosstown donuts now i don't know if you tried this

Speaker 28 They're pretty phenomenal. That's one of the places where

Speaker 14 I would opt for the vegan choice probably anyway because it's just as good if not better.

Speaker 126 They are so delicious man.

Speaker 234 You know like they've got the because sometimes with doughnuts the sweet filling plus the sweet dough is too much but crosstown donuts they do this thing where they'll put like

Speaker 234 rhubarb in the center and the tartness of the rhubarb cuts against the sweetness of the doughnut so beautifully I absolutely love it.

Speaker 62 Oh God, there's so much.

Speaker 11 I think Crosstown got me into doughnuts because I don't think I was a massive doughnut guy before that, but Crosstown Donuts, I'm all over that.

Speaker 22 Absolutely love Crosstown.

Speaker 14 Really good.

Speaker 234 Well, I think the problem with a lot of doughnuts is they just think more is more.

Speaker 29 So they add like shit on the top of it and they make it like it is kind of monster confection.

Speaker 234 But actually, what you want is something where the flavors complement each other.

Speaker 170 And Crosstown absolutely nailed that.

Speaker 14 It's so, so good.

Speaker 18 I had an awful situation where I was doing a writer's day and one of the people that were there had

Speaker 234 sort of heard that I or I think they were the ones that introduced me to cross down anyway they turned up with a box full of crossed down donuts and they'd got like six vegan ones and they said Romesh I've got you vegan donuts and I was at that time trying to I was sort of hoping to get myself a six or trying to restrain myself from eating that kind of stuff but because they'd gone to the trouble of doing it I felt like I should eat these vegan donuts so I ate quite a few of them yeah

Speaker 22 I don't I hate to point that out to you Romesh but you have ordered something else that's just another another deep-fried thing.

Speaker 163 Oh, gosh.

Speaker 190 Do you know what that pause was? It wasn't even, I genuinely felt bleak.

Speaker 62 Yeah, I saw it in your eyes.

Speaker 13 I saw you go because I knew you felt bad about that anyway.

Speaker 1 Well, we were talking about the Gobi 65, but you've just ordered.

Speaker 73 Yeah, but you know, the one consolation I'll have from the Holy Spirit was at least a tango, the ice block's not deep-fried.

Speaker 109 So I'm not a haven.

Speaker 78 It is the only time on this podcast.

Speaker 9 We've done a lot of episodes of this podcast now. It's the only time on this podcast where a guest, I've looked at a guest and the look of their face literally says, what have I done?

Speaker 62 Like,

Speaker 47 never seen that before.

Speaker 193 But Papa, like, what have I done?

Speaker 125 And regret like it's real.

Speaker 11 Because you came into this all like, oh, can't wait to give some of my opinions on food and show off what a foodie I am.

Speaker 1 Deep fried chicken.

Speaker 44 Deep fried chicken for starter.

Speaker 62 Deep fried cauliflower.

Speaker 163 Donut.

Speaker 62 Do you know what?

Speaker 190 Do you know what makes it even more disgusting? The sort of connoisseury way I describe the rhubarb going to the donut.

Speaker 234 Like our some sort of fucking cordon bleu

Speaker 234 distinguished print.

Speaker 190 No, it's just another deep fried thing with sugar bars, actually.

Speaker 155 Mr. Brown, you know, Mr.

Speaker 97 Brown?

Speaker 182 No.

Speaker 97 Head teacher at St.

Speaker 55 Andrew's.

Speaker 80 At St Andrew's Primary School.

Speaker 220 Oh, now, yes,

Speaker 62 Mr. Brown, yeah.

Speaker 82 he gets up, and this is the whole assembly.

Speaker 81 He goes,

Speaker 81 once, back in the 20s or something,

Speaker 80 a man went into a diner and he ordered

Speaker 157 some chips, which is,

Speaker 82 you call them fries.

Speaker 42 And the chef makes them and he brings them out, and then they send them out, and the guy's like, these aren't crisp enough.

Speaker 157 I want them crisper.

Speaker 82 And he sends them back.

Speaker 80 and he cooks them for a bit longer and he sends it back out again he goes they're still not crisp enough i want them crisper than this and this goes on for ages.

Speaker 82 The whole assembly was this back and forth.

Speaker 80 And every time the chips came out, he said, these aren't crisp enough. I want them crisper.
And eventually, the guy was like so angry with this customer that he put them in there for ages.

Speaker 80 And they sent it back out again.

Speaker 34 And the waiter said, the chef says, you want them crisp?

Speaker 80 You got them crisp. And then that's how crisps were invented.

Speaker 82 Because he made it he put the chips so far in the fire for so long that they just got so thin that they were like potato chips as you would call them and that's how crisps were invented because he said if you want them crisp you got them crisp and that was a whole assembly story sucks

Speaker 62 oh james and it's so moved

Speaker 193 what was that well we were talking about the also

Speaker 84 the origin story of cold cheese cold cheese and it reminded me of the origin story of crisps but did you hear how catherine did her origin story was Apparently, someone didn't want to burn the roof of their mouth because they were so hungry so put the cold cheese on.

Speaker 54 Bang, done.

Speaker 149 In and out. Yours, very long.

Speaker 88 And also, it's the worst story to tell in America because chips mean crisps and crisps mean chips.

Speaker 42 Yeah.

Speaker 82 Well, it's the worst episode to have to tell it on because I had to translate it as I went along.

Speaker 80 Oh,

Speaker 102 I really shouldn't be here.

Speaker 25 What an amazing story that was, James.

Speaker 4 Oh, and I think it's true.

Speaker 34 It's definitely true that it is a story.

Speaker 25 But that's not the biggest news that's occurred this year. Of course, we're all aware of the biggest thing that's happened this year.
It's affected everyone.

Speaker 11 Yes, that's right. Someone was kicked out of the dream restaurant.

Speaker 6 Finally, it happened. People thought it would never happen, but it blindsided everyone.

Speaker 4 And the person it blindsided the most was Jade Adams. Ah, the secret ingredient that day was hundreds and thousands.
We thought, surely, no one's going to pick that.

Speaker 23 Enter Jade and her friend Babs.

Speaker 9 We come to your dessert.

Speaker 241 So

Speaker 241 here's the question about dessert.

Speaker 241 The issue I have here is I could go with like fancy restaurant dessert here because I have a favorite of a fancy, like, you know, like fancy, just like a nice dessert you'd get at a restaurant that I always enjoy having.

Speaker 241 However, I'm lying when I say that. I'm just trying to

Speaker 241 keep this facade that I actually

Speaker 241 have a refined palate. When in actual fact, if I wasn't massively overfull, say like I I had an ever-expanding stomach and it and I didn't get full up the thing I would actually have

Speaker 241 the thing I would actually have is school dessert with mint custard oh just school dessert you know like the sponge the sponge with icing and the hundreds and thousands on top with mint mint custard

Speaker 11 this is incredible jade

Speaker 9 jade this is the first in the dream restaurant now first of all what i would like to say is

Speaker 88 that sounds like the school pudding sounds nice.

Speaker 9 The mint custard is a bit of a...

Speaker 23 We didn't see that coming.

Speaker 62 Fine, but we don't see that.

Speaker 23 I know if you're aware of this, Jade.

Speaker 35 Every episode we do, we have a secret ingredient that if the guest mentions it, they get kicked out of the restaurant and don't get any dinner.

Speaker 9 It has never happened before.

Speaker 35 No one has ever said it. On the first episode we did, Scoobius Pip said it, but then agreed to not have it on the thing.

Speaker 9 But that was only because it was the first episode.

Speaker 137 We wanted people to know what the format was.

Speaker 9 It would have been confusing if we put it out and just we kick a guy out. And that's got the whole podcast.

Speaker 23 And so we said we'd never allow that again.

Speaker 9 This week, the secret ingredient is hundreds and thousands.

Speaker 23 Jade Addams, please leave the dream restaurant. Don't get any dinner.

Speaker 9 You are not getting any dinner.

Speaker 107 No dinner.

Speaker 217 You are out on your ass.

Speaker 9 And leave the pants behind.

Speaker 9 Leave the pants. They stay here now.
All we post that was delivered to the restaurant stays at the dream restaurant.

Speaker 117 Pants are are ours.

Speaker 22 Put the pork in the bin.

Speaker 22 Pour that jungle bird in the sink.

Speaker 101 Yeah.

Speaker 30 No dinner for Jade.

Speaker 78 Oh, I can't believe it's happened.

Speaker 65 I love you.

Speaker 124 It would be hundreds and thousands that did it.

Speaker 107 Wait there. Wait there.

Speaker 23 Oh, she's going away again.

Speaker 9 Oh, man. We've done it.
We've actually kicked someone out.

Speaker 31 We've actually done it.

Speaker 9 And it was right at the end as well. It was a perfect time for it to happen.
She got to say all the things she wanted to know. We're going to put it all in the bin

Speaker 62 oh my god

Speaker 9 i feel so alive so excited about her menu i've always wondered how we would feel when someone says it and i always thought that we would feel awful and that i thought i thought one day when someone says the secret ingredient i'm going to feel really bad about chucking them out and i felt so excited Oh, what's she got here?

Speaker 117 She's genuinely got a bag of hundreds and thousands in it.

Speaker 124 That's a whole bag.

Speaker 9 That's a massive bag as well.

Speaker 117 No one has hundreds of thousands in their house what the hell

Speaker 35 currently eating them out the bag yep

Speaker 217 you can eat them on the bus on the way home from the dream restaurant because you are out of here jade yeah fuck you both

Speaker 193 hashtag jade bagger hundreds and thousands jade bagger hundreds and thousands new hashtag I can't believe I've been kicked out.

Speaker 113 What are the chances?

Speaker 205 What are the chances?

Speaker 254 I'd say hundreds of thousands.

Speaker 15 And so happy it's just when you've talked about everything you want and you're so excited about the whole menu.

Speaker 154 And now we get to say you don't get any of it.

Speaker 254 Well, I get hundreds of thousands because I got them here.

Speaker 9 Eating them. That's Jade Adams' post-workout routine.

Speaker 193 A cigarette and a bag of hundreds of thousands.

Speaker 1 Well, Jade, normally at this point, we say thank you very much for coming to the Dream Restaurant, but we don't need to be polite to you because you picked hundreds of thousands.

Speaker 9 Oh, how does it feel, Jade?

Speaker 164 Do you know what?

Speaker 254 I feel fucking great because I'm the one person who got kicked out. So, yeah,

Speaker 52 that makes me punk.

Speaker 166 I'm like Liam Gallagher right now. I love it.

Speaker 205 Yes, bitches. Come outside with me, guys.

Speaker 61 Fuck this podcast. Fuck them.

Speaker 113 I'm going to do a podcast about hundreds and thousands of you go to peggle on your fucking dicks.

Speaker 32 Thank you very much for coming to the dream restaurant, Jade.

Speaker 18 It's a shame that you couldn't get any dinner today.

Speaker 163 oh,

Speaker 62 oh, I feel so alive.

Speaker 166 Do you know what I'm going to do?

Speaker 241 I'm going to take my James A.

Speaker 206 Castor Best Show Chortal Comedy Awards 2019 Award that I have in my house because you haven't picked it up yet.

Speaker 140 I forgot you've got that.

Speaker 9 No, don't come back in hundreds and thousands.

Speaker 124 Don't come back in hundreds and thousands.

Speaker 166 No, don't come in my award in hundreds and thousands, Jane.

Speaker 205 I've put hundreds and thousands all over your award.

Speaker 128 You're losing it like a plate.

Speaker 241 I'm going to take a picture.

Speaker 62 Yeah, I'll take a picture of it.

Speaker 62 not

Speaker 128 absolutely love it come in my award with the secret ingredient

Speaker 117 well i'm gonna put that out there that's the weirdest thing that's ever happened on this podcast

Speaker 125 also not many guests have in their house an award that was meant for me and a bag of hundreds of dollars you got two of two two awards that i wasn't there for yeah you and bitch picked them up i won there rich was rich picked it up well uh jade normally we read the order back to you, but not going to do that today.

Speaker 55 Oh, no, I am going to read the order back to her, actually.

Speaker 111 Oh, okay. Water.

Speaker 23 Nothing.

Speaker 9 Popped on some bread.

Speaker 113 Fuck all.

Speaker 85 Starter.

Speaker 31 In your dreams.

Speaker 22 Main course.

Speaker 62 Zilch.

Speaker 31 Side dish.

Speaker 62 As if

Speaker 183 dessert.

Speaker 31 You can cram it forever.

Speaker 126 None of this.

Speaker 9 You're getting none of it.

Speaker 167 In the bin.

Speaker 113 In the bin. In, in, in.

Speaker 9 You're not getting any.

Speaker 37 Or you're not getting any.

Speaker 28 Thank you very much for coming to the dream restaurant, Jade.

Speaker 14 I'm sorry it didn't work out for you this time.

Speaker 232 Fuck you both.

Speaker 28 We were absolutely reeling after that, James.

Speaker 29 Well, on that bombshell.

Speaker 25 Thanks for listening, guys.

Speaker 4 Yes, I hope you all made the most out of 2020. We'll be back in the new year with Series 5.
And to end, well, Ed, how about we do, what say you, our annual Papa Dumzo bread compilation?

Speaker 76 I would love that, James.

Speaker 12 Thank you so much. Thanks to James.

Speaker 25 Thanks to the great Benito.

Speaker 32 I've had a lovely time.

Speaker 18 You know, it's been a great year.

Speaker 18 I've really done great this year,

Speaker 17 as everyone has.

Speaker 18 Thanks so much for...

Speaker 142 everyone out there.

Speaker 25 I think I've made the most of all my opportunities.

Speaker 25 And just thanks. Thanks so much.

Speaker 208 Thank you Ed you've been amazing and thank you for me too the Brenna Gorgon. I just want to say guys it's been a great 2020.

Speaker 104 I'll see you in 2021 on the upside down

Speaker 197 fuck you Brett Gorgon.

Speaker 124 I'm gonna get a coffee

Speaker 7 Pop dumps or bread pop dumbs or bread Susie pop a dumbs or bread Papa what

Speaker 95 is he saying?

Speaker 240 You guys have bastardized the English language beyond all recognition.

Speaker 55 Pop a dumbs.

Speaker 84 What's Papa Dobs?

Speaker 13 Why don't you call me later?

Speaker 11 Do a video call later, and I'll take you through it, okay?

Speaker 78 Okay, thank you, Ed.

Speaker 62 That's all right.

Speaker 73 Right, so we've got sparks.

Speaker 65 Pop a dumbs or bread.

Speaker 56 It's so hard.

Speaker 11 I think we can all agree the worst time to hear what's for dinner, mummy, from a stranger is on a creepy service station bridge.

Speaker 252 Pop a dumbs or bread, buddy.

Speaker 204 Pop it ups or bread. Oh my

Speaker 152 Fuck you.

Speaker 65 And

Speaker 62 it was just, it was.

Speaker 96 It was a little bit of gold.

Speaker 23 That's incredible.

Speaker 62 Yeah.

Speaker 197 Pop it up and saw bread. Pop it up and saw bread, David.
Popped up and saw bread.

Speaker 96 Popadoms or bread?

Speaker 62 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 96 Uh, pop a doms. Yeah.

Speaker 55 Pop a dumb soft bread.

Speaker 238 Pop a dumps or bread, Jen.

Speaker 232 Poppin' soft bread. Uh, bread.

Speaker 14 Yeah, like you let us stick.

Speaker 104 Pop it up and saw bread.

Speaker 55 Pop it up soft bread, Paul.

Speaker 197 Poppin' up's or bread.

Speaker 140 I'm gonna say bread.

Speaker 252 Poppin' ups or bread!

Speaker 69 Poppadums, without a doubt.

Speaker 18 I think that might be the quickest response we've ever had to that.

Speaker 249 Don't know. Lost touch with him.

Speaker 216 Yeah, I should imagine so.

Speaker 252 Pop and absorb bread!

Speaker 249 Do what?

Speaker 252 Pop and absorb bread, Diane.

Speaker 249 Oh, poppadums or bread. I thought you said problems or bread.

Speaker 23 Ah, I love Facho Gus.

Speaker 225 I know we sound so rock and roll, don't we?

Speaker 104 What are we here for?

Speaker 104 Pop-dubs or bread.

Speaker 179 Say that again?

Speaker 197 Pop and hums or bread.

Speaker 84 Oh, bread.

Speaker 197 Pop and hums or bread.

Speaker 238 Pop numbs or bread, Gene.

Speaker 213 Poppin' ups or bread.

Speaker 62 Pop and hums. Yeah.

Speaker 164 Wait, no.

Speaker 238 Pop-lums or bread.

Speaker 197 Pop-lums or bread, Wyatt.

Speaker 167 Pop and dumbs or bread.

Speaker 54 Bread.

Speaker 148 Straight away, bread.

Speaker 62 Yeah, something like that.

Speaker 178 Pop-dums or bread. Pop-dumps or bread.
Anthony head.

Speaker 213 Pop and dumbs or bread.

Speaker 136 It's just a bad thing. Anthony head.

Speaker 245 Pop and dumbs or bread!

Speaker 92 Anthony head!

Speaker 29 Anthony whipped a steak out there.

Speaker 94 Yeah, absolutely, just shatter steak out.

Speaker 23 No, you just shat

Speaker 23 Poplums or bread! Poplums or bread, Sailor!

Speaker 67 Poplums or bread! This is the bit I knew was gonna happen.

Speaker 62 Saucy.

Speaker 60 Popadums or bread!

Speaker 197 Poplums or bread!

Speaker 156 I'll take, I'm gonna go bread.

Speaker 63 Pop and dumps or bread.

Speaker 60 Oh, bread. Bread.

Speaker 78 Bread for sure.

Speaker 9 Still sparkling water, Joe?

Speaker 123 Sparkling.

Speaker 106 Sparkling water.

Speaker 152 Poplums or bread.

Speaker 197 Pop logs or bread, Joe. Pop loves or bread.

Speaker 18 Bread, please.

Speaker 55 Water.

Speaker 55 House water.

Speaker 59 Whatever they recommend.

Speaker 65 Pop numbs or bread.

Speaker 55 Pop logs or bread, Armando.

Speaker 90 Pop nums or bread.

Speaker 90 Actually, bread.

Speaker 213 Pop a lobs or bread.

Speaker 197 Pop a dumbs or bread.

Speaker 90 A pana.

Speaker 223 Pop a dumps or bread. See, I'm ready because I listened.

Speaker 55 Yeah.

Speaker 55 Bread.

Speaker 59 Didn't scare you properly.

Speaker 62 Poplums or bread.

Speaker 197 Pop loves or bread, Emily.

Speaker 178 Pop loves or bread.

Speaker 64 I'm going to go bread. I'm going to go bread.

Speaker 62 Okay.

Speaker 79 Oh, we've got a jafar in our our hands.

Speaker 51 You're genuinely sad.

Speaker 78 Like, I thought he was going to cry.

Speaker 59 Oh, no. Pop it up so bread.

Speaker 7 Pop lobs or bread, Catherine.

Speaker 51 Poppin' arms.

Speaker 12 That was a big swing from James because you're about to take a sip out of a can.

Speaker 62 I know, but I'm ready to go. We've gone very badly.

Speaker 55 I didn't know that was.

Speaker 24 I only realized it at the last minute.

Speaker 81 I was like, uh-oh, I'm about to get vanilla coke all over me.

Speaker 51 Listen, I'm cool as a cucumber.

Speaker 59 That's quite clever.

Speaker 62 Pop lumps or bread.

Speaker 55 Pop-lumps or bread. Pop and arms or bread.

Speaker 90 Right, what's all right?

Speaker 147 I eat an absolute shed load of bread.

Speaker 65 Do genies swim?

Speaker 93 Yes, genie does. Lovely.

Speaker 220 I can swim, yeah.

Speaker 197 Pop-dums or bread!

Speaker 238 Pop lobs or bread, Ivo!

Speaker 189 Pop and arms or bread!

Speaker 22 What a moment.

Speaker 62 He jumped.

Speaker 101 Did you jump?

Speaker 136 What was a normal bread?

Speaker 189 Well, I like the podcast, and I've listened to it a lot, and I've thought I'm not going to get bamboozled by this pop-ups or bread business.

Speaker 189 But obviously, you're a master of your craft, and what you've made me do is you've made me picture you swimming in the stretching light.

Speaker 62 And I was having such a nice time

Speaker 135 picturing that logo.

Speaker 213 Poppin' obsorb bread.

Speaker 197 Poppin' up's or bread, Reggie.

Speaker 65 Poppin' up's or bread.

Speaker 129 Ah, Brad, because popadoms stick to the roof of my mouth.

Speaker 130 I don't get them.

Speaker 178 Poppin' arms or bread!

Speaker 238 Poppin' up's our bread, Sam.

Speaker 55 It does catch you off guard. I thought today, I thought I was like, I'm ready for it.

Speaker 7 I'm gonna be ready.

Speaker 55 It does get you. It does get you.

Speaker 212 Thank you so much, but no thank you.

Speaker 166 Poppin' ups or bread.

Speaker 62 Pop an arms or bread, Claudia winkleman this is very good not popadums texas toast big abs is it just big toast right okay okay pop an absorb bread pop it up bread caffeine pop it up

Speaker 162 what the hell what pop it ups or bread what's poppin' ups

Speaker 252 pop it up bread pop it ups or bread David O'Docketti, pop it ups or bread.

Speaker 128 Even though I don't even know what your water order is, I'm seeing the countdown here on the screen and I'm scared.

Speaker 9 What is the

Speaker 23 smallest unit of British currency?

Speaker 113 A pennet.

Speaker 23 That was all I wanted to know.

Speaker 204 Pop an absorb bread!

Speaker 166 Bread.

Speaker 204 Pop it up as old bread.

Speaker 252 Poppin' up saw bread, Sarah Melican.

Speaker 212 I think, so I've got another question.

Speaker 52 Are there repercussions in the dream restaurant? For example, I have a slight lactose and gluten intolerance, which I just ride out.

Speaker 52 I just eat what I like and drink what I like, and I just deal with the consequences, which are sometimes horrific.

Speaker 213 Pop a dumbs or bread!

Speaker 13 Pop a dumps or bread, Thomas Eden Myers!

Speaker 213 Pop-a-dumps or bread!

Speaker 53 Bread rubbed in garlic, charred, black, kidded, and olive oil.

Speaker 105 Okay, maybe.

Speaker 41 Popped over to Spain to a mentioned restaurant had a salad.

Speaker 45 Sometimes I like to be fancy.

Speaker 14 Yeah, that's okay.

Speaker 14 Absolutely.

Speaker 54 Yeah.

Speaker 62 Pop-doms or bread.

Speaker 23 Pop-a-dumps or bread, Noah.

Speaker 54 Yeah.

Speaker 73 Pop-a-doms or bread.

Speaker 23 Now, this is a confused a lot of our

Speaker 27 everything becomes a bumper sticker.

Speaker 213 Pop a dumbs or bread.

Speaker 54 What?

Speaker 64 Pop a dumbs or bread.

Speaker 167 Michael McKean. A pop-a-dum.

Speaker 166 A pop-a-dums or bread.

Speaker 79 Charcoal-filtered water.

Speaker 54 You can have a charcoal-filtered water.

Speaker 162 Yeah, pop-doms or bread.

Speaker 167 Pop-doms or bread.

Speaker 113 I love it.

Speaker 178 Poppy!

Speaker 113 Poppin' dumbs or bread, poppy!

Speaker 62 Poppy dumbs or bread?

Speaker 204 Pop and obs or bread!

Speaker 252 Pop and obsorb bread, Ovie. Pop a dumbs or bread.
Poppin' dumbs or bread.

Speaker 62 An excellent, excellent reaction shot from there, Ovie.

Speaker 252 Pop an obsor bread. Pop an obsorb bread, Corey Taylor.

Speaker 204 Pop an obsorb bread.

Speaker 184 Ooh. I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna go bread.

Speaker 62 Pop an obsorbed bread.

Speaker 238 Pop an obsorbed bread, buddy.

Speaker 213 Pop an absorb bread.

Speaker 218 I love Ben in the corner of my eye making notes as we talk, trying to decide what to keep it and what not to keep it.

Speaker 133 Yeah, that will happen.

Speaker 133 You gotta not look at him during the podcast.

Speaker 218 This is the equivalent of the audience response.

Speaker 172 Yeah, yeah, it's pretty demeaning sometimes when you tell an anecdote and then you look over and he's scribbling away.

Speaker 101 Yeah, it's an edit point, yeah.

Speaker 218 Yeah, I mean, honestly, we talk about Melbourne food.

Speaker 218 I mean, for white people, high eating, Melbourne's pretty high up there, but I mean, Singapore, you know, Singapore and Malaysia for me kills the food game. There's no, there's nothing that you can

Speaker 218 like in Melbourne,

Speaker 218 you can't anyway, you can't find that cuisine anywhere else. Singapore and Mal Mal Malaysian food, you there's no no one has done it well outside of Singapore, Malaysia.
Right, yeah.

Speaker 218 Yeah, definitely not the UK. But I mean, even, you know, Australia or

Speaker 218 even in America, you're hard-pressed to find good Singapore, like

Speaker 218 where it tastes actually the way it's supposed to taste.

Speaker 101 Right, yeah.

Speaker 74 Huge shout out to Ronnie for completely ignoring the Papa Domino.

Speaker 218 Papa Domsa bread.

Speaker 55 Papadom's or bread. I didn't know what you were saying.

Speaker 197 Papa Nobsa bread, Ronnie.

Speaker 55 What is that?

Speaker 101 What is that? Papa Numza bread.

Speaker 218 What is that?

Speaker 197 Is that like a meat? Popadomsa bread.

Speaker 101 Is that like pumpadom? Pop-doms or pop-a-domsaw bread.

Speaker 218 I think you're saying papa dom

Speaker 218 is a bread.

Speaker 197 Poppin ups or bread.

Speaker 165 But papa dumb

Speaker 101 is technically a cracker, I think.

Speaker 55 Poppin ups or bread.

Speaker 218 Yeah, I don't know what that is.

Speaker 62 Papa dumbs.

Speaker 65 Or

Speaker 167 bread.

Speaker 193 Oh, you actually did say papa doms are bread.

Speaker 62 Aww. Oh, oh, bread.

Speaker 59 Okay.

Speaker 101 But where would you yell that? Oh, you're asking me. Oh, okay.

Speaker 23 Yeah, I like it. It's pretty good.

Speaker 113 Papa Nobsaw

Speaker 204 Pop it up so bad, wretched Heron!

Speaker 213 Poppadubs or bread!

Speaker 42 Must be changing. Can we move on?

Speaker 21 Let's move on.

Speaker 197 Pop it up soft bread.

Speaker 238 Pop it up so bread, Terry.

Speaker 213 Poppadubs or bread.

Speaker 77 So Indian thing.

Speaker 64 Yeah. Well, let's see.

Speaker 47 I had assumed that had slipped your mind, but it hadn't.

Speaker 252 Popped up soft bread.

Speaker 125 Well, look,

Speaker 190 thank you for your question, James.

Speaker 23 If I was a listener of this podcast, which we've established I'm not,

Speaker 191 I would think, well done, James, that's really good knowledge.

Speaker 226 You know?

Speaker 197 Poppadobs or bread.

Speaker 166 Poppadobs or bread, Harry.

Speaker 55 Pop it observed.

Speaker 62 Pop bread, bread, bread.

Speaker 62 Olive bread.

Speaker 252 Pop it observed bread. Pop it observed bread, got one.

Speaker 78 Pop and observe bread, even though you've already said poppadobs.

Speaker 1 Yeah, interesting.

Speaker 11 You're the first guest to ever pip us to the post with that question and get in beforehand.

Speaker 159 I haven't got the first idea, but anyway, I could team up with someone knowledgeable, Ed Gamble.

Speaker 204 Pop it ups or bread!

Speaker 60 Eh?

Speaker 252 Popped up's or bread, Joe Brand.

Speaker 159 Popped arms or bread. Oh, God.
I'm going to show myself up yet again as a Philistine, but bread.

Speaker 62 Moving right along.

Speaker 197 Popping up's or bread!

Speaker 238 Poppin' up's or bread, Josh.

Speaker 213 Popped up's or bread.

Speaker 154 And I couldn't give away the sandwich. That's my time.

Speaker 90 Thank you so much.

Speaker 101 Pop it up's or bread.

Speaker 55 Pop it ups or bread. I'm so sorry.

Speaker 120 That was a response to your heckle.

Speaker 132 Yeah, that was a question.

Speaker 140 What would you like us to put it into into when we remove it, though?

Speaker 14 Sparkling, please.

Speaker 60 Pop a dumbs or bread.

Speaker 252 Pop a dumbs or bread, Louie. Pop a dumbs or bread.

Speaker 151 Um.

Speaker 70 Pop a dumbs or bread.

Speaker 173 I think I'm gonna go bread.

Speaker 90 Oh, here's the thing. Usually,

Speaker 94 at this point in the podcast, after he's talked about the water, I'd shout pop a dumbs or bread at you really loud.

Speaker 55 Ed.

Speaker 55 I'll say this to you.

Speaker 137 I find Anthony is like,

Speaker 14 I'm more afraid of him than any other guest we've ever had.

Speaker 48 He does seem like a guy who wouldn't take any shit.

Speaker 78 This is true.

Speaker 62 And so far, I feel like if I don't expect him to shout at you, I'm going to be in trouble. Yeah,

Speaker 194 I would definitely control the sound of your voice. Yeah.

Speaker 41 I didn't feel like it would go well if I yelled at you suddenly out of nowhere.

Speaker 23 I mean, I did it to...

Speaker 41 I've done it to so many people.

Speaker 34 Yelled at Terry Hatcher.

Speaker 36 I didn't give it a second thought.

Speaker 55 Yeah.

Speaker 62 But.

Speaker 62 you have a natural authority as well and i i also don't think yeah if he shouted at you i don't think it would affect you at all no i wouldn't be thrown by it yeah um but but whatever you're gonna say next i would write it down yeah pass me the piece of paper yeah just to be safe yeah he built it up too much would you prefer that he did everything through me at this point yes yeah okay cool yeah that'll be great can you ask anthony uh pop-adoms would you like popadoms or or bread i think uh what is a pop-adom he says what it is

Speaker 62 it up, so bread!

Speaker 204 Poppin' up your bread, Rogan! Pop it up, so bread!

Speaker 54 Hello.

Speaker 256 Sucks! The new musical has made Tony award-winning history on Broadway. We demand to be heard! Winner, best score.
We demand to be seen.

Speaker 198 Winner, best book. We demand to be quality.

Speaker 256 It's a theatrical masterpiece that's thrilling, inspiring, dazzlingly entertaining, and unquestionably the most emotionally stirring musical this season.

Speaker 101 Suffs.

Speaker 256 Playing the Orpheum Theater, October 22nd through November 9th. Tickets at BroadwaySF.com.

Speaker 86 Hello, I'm Carrie Add. I'm Sarah.
And we are the Weirdos Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival.
The date is Thursday, 11th of September.

Speaker 86 The time is 7pm, and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies.

Speaker 232 Tickets from kingsplace.co.uk.

Speaker 52 Single ladies is coming to London.

Speaker 255 True on Saturday, the 13th of September.

Speaker 70 At the London Podcast Festival.

Speaker 52 The rumours are true Saturday, the 13th of September at King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet.