CARDI B: Overcoming Depression, Blocking Out the Hate & Owning Your Power

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Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the Psychology Podcast.

Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you.

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My marriage, I felt the love dying.

I was crying every day.

I fell in the deepest depression that I had ever had.

The number one health and wellness podcast.

Jay Shetty.

Jay Shetty.

The one, the only Jay Shetty.

Cardi B, welcome to On Purpose.

Hi.

Oh my gosh.

I have to tell you something.

And I mean this.

You can go back six years when I launched the podcast.

People would always ask me, they'd say, who do you want on the show?

Yeah.

Like, who would be your dream guest?

And I'd always say, Cardi B.

And I'll tell you why.

I'll tell you why.

Because no one would ever put us in the same room together.

We're just so different externally.

But I believe there's a, there's a spiritual connection that we'll find out today.

You know, it's so funny.

I saw a video of you and I definitely won't, I was like, I want to send it to my boyfriend, boyfriend, but

it's about like asking difficult questions.

And it's like when you, when you ask difficult questions and you get through, you get over the difficult question and you discuss the difficult questions, it really do make you stronger.

It really do make the relationship stronger.

And it's like, oh my gosh, he really is like, is he a psychic?

Did you send it to him?

Huh?

Did you send it to him?

What did he say?

He was like, yeah, exactly.

And it's like, yeah, exactly.

Did it change any behavior did it we'll see okay okay on the next question

i love it i love it i wanted to ask you first of all i heard that you have a hidden talent that you can name the 46 presidents in order is that real it can't it go it comes and go it comes and go i just know a lot of weird different facts about presidents okay And people will be like, well, why?

That is so random.

Like when I was younger, I didn't really have like Nintendos and I didn't, sometimes I had cable and sometimes I didn't.

So I just really ain't had no choice but to read.

And like I like to read like factual stuff.

So I would just read like a whole bunch of history things.

Like me, I will literally, when I'm bored, like, you know how they give you the history books in your school?

I will literally read the whole history book.

in a week from front to back just just because I'm bored.

Wow, that's impressive though.

Do you still get bored now?

Do you even have time to be bored or?

I don't be bored, but that's like what I really just like to watch and everything.

So like I watch it, like I watch YouTubes on like factual things.

Like I just get into certain

certain topics and I always go down a rabbit hole and then I'd be obsessed with it for a week and then it's just like whatever.

Yeah, I feel like you can't go anywhere without being recognized.

I mean, you have such an iconic look.

Even today, I was admiring it when you walked in.

I was like, what inspires this?

But if you could be anonymous, for 24 hours what would you do?

If no one could recognize you, no one could see you, what would you do?

Well, Well, you know what's so funny?

Like, I really do

like, I don't always look like this.

So, I usually go outside, probably with glasses or probably not, but I always go outside with like an oversized hoodie.

And then, I'm not even gonna lie, due to COVID for like a long time, it really did help using the mask.

But I do a lot of things by myself with no security, just because I'm a person that if I want to, if I want to go and buy

a steak to cook, I will go downstairs to Whole Foods and buy it and

no one will know.

And no one will see you.

They might or they might not, but I feel like I already maneuver how to like, oh, it's Cardi B.

And I just walk fast and maneuver my way around.

That's impressive.

Yeah.

You know, this show is all about getting to know the person behind.

the music, behind the stardom, behind the fame, getting to know the human behind it.

Yeah.

And I feel like your journey, even though you've talked about it, I'd love to dive into some parts that I find fascinating.

Yeah.

And I wanted to ask you, what's a childhood memory that you have that you think defines who you are today?

Oh,

it's it's a lot.

Well,

it's not really like a childhood memory, but me and my sister, we used to go to the same school, right?

Even though like she's three years younger than me.

And she always be telling me this thing, right?

She always be telling me this.

She used to, she always tells me like, oh, I used to see you in the cafeteria in the morning by yourself with your head down

and i used to feel so bad for you and it's like why and she's like i don't know because you just looked so lonely and i used to tell her like it's like i was not lonely i just always need time to think and be by myself.

Like, I'm a person that I have friends, but I don't really like to be around

people that much sometimes.

I just, I'm always in my thoughts.

Like there's like a hundred people and I feel like it's been like that since I was five years old that talk in my head and plan things out, plan my future, plan my life.

It's like I'm playing dollhouse in my head.

You know that when you play with your dolls

and you make a scenario, not a scenario or like you, you.

build your home and this and your that.

Yeah, like a little universe or whatever.

Like a little universe.

I'm always planning a universe in my head.

And it's just, sometimes people say that I have like an interesting look, like if I'm spaced out, I'm not spaced out.

I'm deep in my universe and planning five years ahead.

Wow.

So you're dreaming, planning, visioning.

Do these different workers, different you're in your head, have different names or personalities or no?

It's just no, it's not really no different personalities.

It's just straight planning.

tomorrow, straight planning for five years, straight, straight imagining what I want.

And it's crazy because it's like

everything that I planned for since I was five and dreamed of,

I really gotten it.

Even when I was like younger,

even when I was like younger, I used to look at my mom and I used to be like, I want to be

so pretty and beautiful like her.

And I grew up to be the pretty, beautiful woman that she is, but I also wanted wanted like to be very successful

very

i'm not gonna say rich but like very successful i really hated being poor

and i used to say like it's that i refuse to have kids and raise them in the hood i have to find a way to never do that but i always wanted kids and i figured it out and i not only did i figure it out but it's like I always have plan B's, C's, and D's,

but I don't, I didn't have to settle for plan B, C, and D.

I had, I settled for my dream.

Like, this is my dream job, and I have it.

It's a little bit more difficult than what I saw in my dreams, but I'm living it.

That's what I always wanted.

Yeah, that's incredible.

As that little girl who was sitting alone, that your sister said she would see you and she'd feel sorry for you, but inside your head, you were dreaming.

Was it dreaming about music?

Was it dreaming about getting out of the hood?

What were those dreams?

What did they look like to that little girl back then?

I always

felt like I was going to be a superstar.

And it's so weird because my grandma, she has like a lot of grandkids,

but she always used to tell me that.

And it's like, why you always used to tell me, like, I don't understand why she used to tell me that all the time.

Like, I used to be

like a little black sheep.

I used to like nag a lot.

I have like cousins that they're very pretty.

They have beautiful, beautiful eyes.

They just stand out so much.

And it's not that I don't stand out.

It's just like out of everybody, my grandma used to be like, you're going to be a superstar.

You need to practice how to sing because you're going to be a superstar.

And I just knew I was meant to be something.

Like for some reason, me and my sister, we have like

really strong personalities.

And I feel like the things that they used to tell me, they would tell her the same thing too.

Like, all my teachers, all my friends, they're going to be like, you're going to be somebody.

You're going to be somebody someday.

But I always used to wonder, like, it's like, what is my calling?

Because I used to like acting in school, but I'm not a good actress.

I used to like singing, but I'm not a good singer.

I'm not the greatest singer.

Like, from the pack, from the school, I'm not the greatest singer.

Like, if I will audition for a play, they will pick somebody else because they sing better than me, or they will pick somebody else because they act better than me.

So, and then it's like, oh, people used to say, I'm so funny, but it's like, I'm not a comedian standout show.

Like, it's like, I am, I'm naturally funny, but I can't see it as my job.

Just

my mouth.

This is just me being me.

So, it's like, what is my calling?

And I always wonder, what is my calling that everybody says that it's like, I'm going to be somebody, but what am I going to be?

I don't know.

And God gave it to me.

God showed it to me.

And God really did give it it to me.

And here I am.

And I just can't believe that millions of people know me.

Yeah, congratulations.

When I hear you say that, and you always exude this confidence, you're outspoken, you're bold.

Was it always like that since you were a young girl?

Or did that develop over time?

Where did that come from?

I was like born like this.

I was always, I always been like this.

I guess I got my real quiet side.

And I always got like into my self-side, because like I said, I'd be be in my own universe, quiet, planning and planning.

But

I feel like when I open my mouth or when I am who I am, it's just this is just how I am.

But

if I kind of think about it, I mean, like, my family are very like funny.

They're very loud.

My parents are a little different from each other, but they're very loud.

They have very strong personalities, both of them.

So I feel like it just all

comes came into you.

Came into me.

Yeah.

So it's like, you know, how people, I don't know, maybe, you know, how people, parents give their kids their looks.

Yeah.

I think my parents gave me a mix of they both personality.

I'm a little bit of both of them.

Cardi B, even still today, finds time for her quiet side.

I'm naturally quiet, though.

I'm like, tell me about that.

I want to know about that.

I'm like, I don't think people know that.

Yeah, like I'm naturally in my room, just deep in my thoughts

and just deep, deep, deep.

I might just talk to you the whole day as a friend on the phone, but I don't really want to see you, which is so weird.

Like I could talk to my friends all day long, but I like to be by myself all the time.

I don't really want to be.

Are people surprised when they figure that out with you?

Yeah.

And my friends don't feel a certain type of way about that because they know me.

Yeah.

They know I'm not the friend that wants to go out to dinner.

They know that I'm not that.

They know I'm not the friend that, oh, I'm just going to go to your house and chill and blah, blah, blah.

But we will be on the phone like forever.

So what about like parties, events, all of that kind of stuff?

That's like, is it work?

Is it networking?

I do like to party, but

sometimes I haven't even really had the time for it lately.

I haven't really had the time for it.

And to be honest with you, even before.

I was like famous and everything, I wasn't really a club girl.

I was already a dancer.

So I work in the club.

So it's like, I didn't really care to like, oh, I'm going to the club today for what?

I work in it.

Like, it's just like, I've always been like a person that just work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work.

Focus on the bigger picture.

Just focus on the biggest thing.

I always wanted kids.

So the goal is to be comfortable before the kids get here.

That was always my goal.

My goal was always to be a mother, but having your own.

I had my own before I became a mother.

Yeah, I mean, you said just a few moments ago that you didn't want to raise raise kids in the hood.

Talk to me about what we don't know about that.

Like, how hard was it?

What was it that was so bad that you were like, I could never raise my kids in the place I grew up in?

It's just a lot of things.

Like, sometimes when kids are like bad or they get into trouble, people automatically blame the parents.

And you can have the best parents.

Like, my parents, they are not criminals.

They have never even committed a crime.

My grandma used to tell my mom a lot, like, it's like, you're pretty for no reason.

And I feel like they used to tell her that because it's like, she's so pretty.

So it's like, you know, Caribbean folks, it's like, when you're pretty and you're this and that, it's like they always expect you to be with a man that got a lot of money.

And my mom, she was never even that type of person.

She was a very modest and honest, hardworking woman.

So, and my dad, he's, he's a good man.

He's, he's a party animal, but he's a good man.

He's a good person.

He's a good dad.

However, you will end up going in the wrong path or going in the wrong direction

because the influence around you, because certain peer pressure, or because you almost have no choice, especially if you're a boy.

You never know if you're going to have a boy or a girl, especially if you're a boy.

And when you are a girl, it is a little bit difficult.

It is a little bit tougher.

I feel like people just grow a little bit faster in the hood.

Like when I was 11 years old, there was girls in my class in the sixth grade, 11 years old.

I have nieces that are 11 years old.

All they want to do is play Roblox nowadays.

But when I was 11 years old,

there were girls that were already

at 11 in sixth grade.

So it's like

you go certain paths, path, or your environments.

Like boys too in the hood, they're a little faster.

So, you know, you will be walking down the block, and the typical little bad boy, he'll slap your ass out of nowhere.

He'll slap your ass out of nowhere.

You start arguing him.

He'll smack the shit out of your face.

That's how boys,

a lot of boys in the Bronx are.

They're very like aggressive.

They're aggressive with girls.

They're aggressive.

They grouped out.

They grope you.

You just never know.

Like, one of the reasons also why I'm so witty with my mouth.

People are like, why are you so witty?

Why are you so thin?

Like, going to school, it was like,

it's almost like like

i think that's why i'm always so tough like

boys or girls mostly boys they used to like kind of like make fun of certain things but not only just me to everybody like like you look at your shoes they're leaning look at your hair your hair is never not done

so i used to go home and i used to go in the mirror and practice my jokes.

And the next day, I will be like, I i can't wait till he flame me i got a joke or two for him that's why i'm so witty too as well so it's like i don't want to raise my kids in that type of environment i don't want to and then on top of that it's like it is fun i had a lot of fun in the hood but it's like it's not fun

like for me right

it's not fun

living in an apartment right

And contrary to what I say, I don't cook, I don't clean.

I grew up with a mom that will make me brush the corners, the corners of the apartment, like brush it by hand.

That's how clean my home had to be, my crib had to be.

Every day I was doing dishes, every day I was mopping floors, every day I was making sure that I go outside to the parking lot and take out the garbage.

And even though no matter how clean your apartment is,

there will still be roaches, there will still be mices because your neighbor probably a hoarder.

The person downstairs is dirty.

Y'all live in the same building.

You cannot avoid

certain rodents and stuff.

And it's like, I don't want to put my

kids through that.

And it's like, I have to find another way.

And then, and then another thing that always like gets me in my head is like this one time, my mom, she was working very hard, but we still needed help.

So she went to welfare to get like benefit, like a benefit card and stuff like that.

And the lady, like my mom, she's the type of person, like, it's like, if you're rude to her, she's gonna be like, oh, I don't gotta take this.

And she would just storm out.

Like, I don't gotta take, nobody gotta talk, gonna talk to me like that.

She got a very strong character.

And this lady was talking so rude and so nasty to my mom.

And she was taking it because we needed the help.

I don't want nobody to feel like they have to talk to me a certain type of way because I need the help.

And it's like, this could never, ever be me.

I would never want to like be in a situation where I have to go get welfare and the social worker is talking to me like I'm a dog, like I need you.

And I just felt so bad for my mom because she just felt so, I could tell in her face that she was just like looking for the papers that she needed.

Like

it just, that vision is always in my head.

And it's like, it'd be getting me mad.

I hope that lady, I won't punch in her face to this day.

And I don't want that.

I ain't wanted that.

Yeah.

And as a woman,

even if you get with a man with money, you should have your own.

Because one thing you learn from young, one thing I learned from having aunts, you could have a man with money.

You could have a kid with money.

If you stop doing what that man asked you to do, or if that man decides to leave, or if you deal with a man from the streets and you go to jail, that's your child.

That's you.

That's your responsibility.

That's your hustle.

You got a to grind for that child.

It's always two parents, but sometimes it's not really two parents.

And the dad could be alive right there.

And then that's why you always got to have your own.

It's not even about, oh, I don't need a man.

I don't need the father.

I don't need the thing.

But sometimes it gets to the point that it's like, they're going to make you feel that way.

That's why you need it.

I had cousins and I had aunts and I have it.

that it's like they they may have a little bit of money have a little bit of land have a little bit of this and once those men are done and through with you and put you off the ringer, it's like, yeah, I'm not dealing with that kid no more.

Or, like, you go, you get these $200

every three, four months when I want you to.

I'm not dealing with that shit.

That's why I was like, but I always wanted to have kids.

So it's like, I have to have my own shit before I become a mom.

And that's exactly what happened.

And I only do it.

And I only have one kid.

I have three kids.

And that's exactly not exactly the number that I want, but I always wanted a big family.

Like, I love family.

I love family.

And there's a higher possibility that I won't be in a living assistant home with all the kids.

How many kids do you want?

I want like six.

Okay, so three more.

I want like three more kids.

Three more kids.

I love that for you.

I mean,

hearing you say that, I mean, as I was listening to you, I could tell there's like a...

There's almost like a, you can almost vision what that life was like.

Yeah.

And there's a part of you that's like, so happy you got out at the same time there's there's such a part of it that's there inside of you that you've been fighting against you've been breaking out of right like for all of these years

when was the moment you felt like

i'm out like i broke out like when was that moment where you really felt like i did it i'm out i i made it you know i'm safe now It's crazy because every single time I feel like I felt like I was safe, I really wasn't.

Oh, interesting.

Yeah.

when I got on TV, when I first got on TV, I was like, Did I make it?

I didn't feel like I made it because I used to see girls go on reality TV shows, and then they will end up right back in the strip club where I was at.

So I never felt like it's like, oh, on TV, I made it.

It's like I'm almost there, but I didn't make it.

Then when I got signed to a label,

it's like

I'm almost near making it

because

I'm signed, but I'm not where I want to be.

Where I really felt like I made it was when Bodak Yellow came out.

The million that I made, the first real million that I made, I didn't have to share with nobody.

I had to share with managers because they signed me to something.

It's mine.

It's mine.

But I never felt comfortable.

I still to this day don't feel comfortable, especially with how.

everybody just trying to take it from you all the time.

It's like I fight every day to keep this level of success because people want to take it from you so bad and

people just feel like

they could they could tell you when you deserve to to have this success because it just looks so easy but it's not it really is not it's is a it's a challenge to stay here it's a challenge to stay relevant it's a it's a challenge to to to keep your mental health right it's a challenge to getting up is it everything every day is a challenge it's it's is

It's a job.

Everybody has a job.

You can't complain about getting up and doing a job.

The only thing I could complain about is millions of people that love you and then millions of people getting in your head and telling you that you don't deserve your job that you work hard for.

That's what it is.

We all have jobs.

That's what it is about being a dog.

Oh, don't complain to them.

Everybody want to complain.

I work so hard.

I work so hard.

I work so hard.

You have to work hard to pay your bills.

But when you work hard and people tell you that you don't deserve the success that you have and you don't deserve to do what you do after you put in so much work, that's what with you for real.

What makes you feel like that every day?

What are the things that make you feel like

there's people constantly coming at you?

What does that look like in your life?

I tell you something that's been going on for like a hot minute, right?

Like, a lot of people

think

that I put out music, that I put out an album, that I don't be putting out this and that because I don't know, they always say that, like, I'm always getting pregnant all the time.

But I don't think people follow timelines

when it comes to having kids.

I'm very seasoned by now.

I'm very seasoned right now.

When I had my child at the beginning, I canceled going on a tour tour with Bruno Mars because it was my first time having a kid.

I did not know anything.

I didn't have no nanny, no night nurse.

I was figuring out all by myself.

I was figuring out postpartum.

I was figuring out everything, right?

But even when I had a child, it didn't stop me.

Three months after I gave birth, I was going, I was doing shows, four or five shows a week into

COVID.

Then COVID happened.

And I put out this big record, WAP, and I put up up.

Then I got pregnant.

And people thought that I didn't put out an album because I got pregnant.

But the reason why I didn't put out an album is because I didn't have a body of work.

I just didn't have a body of work.

So I couldn't put out no music because I didn't have a body of work.

Then

last year, I was planning to have an album.

I was planning to put out an album,

but I couldn't focus.

I fell in the deepest depression that I had ever had.

And with that depression, I couldn't function.

I couldn't function on nothing.

And when I talk about function, it's not even like, oh, just working.

I couldn't eat.

I couldn't sleep.

I couldn't do nothing.

So that just halted

everything that I had.

So.

It's not really because of having a baby.

Sometimes too, I don't be wanting to put music because I love being in the studio and I love creating music and I love perfecting my craft.

And that's like baking a cake.

You bake a cake, you practice baking the cake, you practice baking a cake.

And then when you put out the songs, sometimes it'd be good.

And sometimes, like, for example,

people will just be like,

We hate it and she shouldn't be doing this.

And that's like you baking a cake.

You bake a cake, you bake a cake, and people eat the cake.

And then people be like, this is the worst cake ever.

And they splat it.

Have you ever seen The Simpson?

Yeah,

shit.

When they splat the cake, that's how I be feeling.

And it's like, that is the worst feeling ever.

That's like a guy

you

and you think you have the best pussy in the world.

And they tell you, your pussy's trash.

You should never f nobody no more.

That's just how I feel.

Like, you work, you work, you work.

You try to do your best to perform, perfect your craft.

And somebody just tells you, like, you shouldn't be doing this.

You should never do this ever in your life.

It brings you down so much and it with your mental so much that it's like, this is why I kind of avoid it.

Just for a peace of mind.

Just for a peace of mind.

I've been okay for almost a year.

Like after I gave birth to my daughter,

I was a little happy.

I was going outside.

I started dating.

I started feeling really good.

Sometimes I have bad days.

Sometimes I have good days because I feel like I'm resetting in life.

Last week when I put out a song,

and it's not really the criticism in the song, the way that people ate me up, tore me up, chewed me up

just because of one song.

I feel like I didn't deserve that, especially for a song that I put so much work in

that I just was like, this is, this is why.

I don't really put music out like this because I remember how this used to feel.

This is a very terrible feeling to have.

This is a very terrible feeling to have.

And you tell yourself, like, it's like a lot of these people that are telling you these types of things don't have no jobs, don't have no titles, don't have no this.

But when it's millions and millions and hundreds of thousands of people, like, it's like, not only are they criticizing the song, they're criticizing you as a whole.

It's be like, this is why I don't really put things off too much because it's just like the mental health, the peace of mind

it's so much,

you just got to ask yourself sometimes, is it even worth it?

Is it even worth it?

Because I haven't felt down like last week for a very long time, for almost like, almost like a year, almost like a year.

I'm Dr.

Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the Psychology Podcast.

Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about exploring human potential.

I was going to schools to try to teach kids these skills, and I get eye-rolling from teachers, or I get students who would be like, it's easier to punch someone in the face.

When you think about emotion regulation, like you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy, which is more effortful to use, unless you think there's a good outcome as a result of it, if it's going to be beneficial to you.

Because it's easy to just say, like, like, go blank yourself, right?

It's easy.

It's easy to just drink the the extra beer it's easy to ignore just oppressed seeing a colleague who's bothering you and just like walk the other way avoidance is easier ignoring is easier denial is easier drinking is easier yelling screaming is easy complex problem solving meditating you know takes effort listen to the psychology podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Talk to me about

that depression for you, as confident as you are, as bold as you are, to be so vulnerable.

And I'm so sorry you went through that, but to be so honest and open about the fact that a year ago you were in this dark depression and it seems like the worst it had ever been.

Yeah.

What got you there?

Why were you feeling so low?

It was just a lot of pressure from my career.

And I also felt like my marriage,

like I felt the love dying

from my end, from

my end, from his end.

I was very lonely because I chose to be lonely, choose to be lonely.

I was saying, like, you know what?

I can't go through this anymore.

I have to put a stop to it.

But when I said I was going to put a stop to it, because you could say you're going to put a stop to it, and you could, you could go a month without being around somebody

it's not it's not until you it's not

when you say so it's when your heart say so

I kept telling myself, I will not contact this person for a month.

I will not give in.

I will not forgive this easy.

I will not go back.

I will not go to the pattern.

I will not go through it.

But I was crying every day.

I was hurt every day.

I was out here in LA in a mansion by myself I was thinking about it every single day

and when your heart is not done your heart is not done

then

I told myself

I'm pregnant

I'm going to accept the

I'm going to accept my flaws, the flaws that I bring in this marriage.

I'm going to apologize for it and I'm going to work on it.

And when I take accountability, and you take advantage of me taking accountability, and you take that as a,

see,

I know she be back instead of me taking accountability, and you taking advantage of that, it really just killed everything.

And while it was dying,

I had a human growing in me.

And I just had, and I just kept thinking: like, it's like, what's life going to be without this person?

What's life going to be without raising my last child without this person?

What's life going to be with that person not being my friend anymore?

Without nothing.

When you have those types of thoughts, it will make you sad.

It will get you depressed.

It will have you lost.

But I overcame that.

that.

And I am the strongest that like I have ever been.

Like I almost feel like,

when was I ever my strongest?

I felt my strongest when I was 22, 23, 24.

That's when I felt like my strongest and I was like living in a power.

And that's how I feel right now.

Like I feel like I live in a power.

And

it took months for the heart to say,

you're done.

Instead of my mouth and my brain, my heart had to be like, You're done.

Because you could say it and you could take actions,

but even if you take actions, if you're not done, you're not done.

Like, I kept asking, like, around that time, I was working with Shakira and I was like, How the f did you overcame this?

Like, how did you overcame this?

And it's like, it's going to happen, and it's like, it will never happen.

And it happened.

It took some crying, it took some thoughts, scary thoughts.

But I'm here, honey.

Yeah.

I'm here and I'm the strongest I've been and I'm

just.

I love hearing that.

But it was hard.

I can tell.

I could tell.

I could see it as I'm speaking to you.

It's not easy.

And I think those moments in all of our lives are the most difficult moments.

What did you do for your mental health at that time?

What did you do?

What actions did you take?

What did you have to do to keep yourself together and come back the strongest you are right now i think there are so many people who are listening who have probably been through similar things who feel broken feel hurt feel lost and confused what worked for you that helped you come back the strongest you've ever been i don't know if it was just time because i kind of did a little bit of everything

like i i did do therapy

I did so, I did saw a therapist.

She's really good, by the way.

It was like on Zoom.

And it was like, I was telling myself, like, it's like, I can't believe I'm telling a whole stranger my feelings, my thoughts, my personal business for three hours straight.

I was just like,

what the fuck am I doing?

That just feels so weird.

I did therapy for, I did a couple of sessions.

They didn't give me no nothing.

i was all spring all summer recording

it just wasn't like enough i just felt like i just had to let it die

on its own let things die on its own and the bad thing about it is that it's like not only am i dealing with that that's that's my personal life i was also dealing with fans putting pressure on me

Because they want, you know, they want an album.

They want products from me.

I had people that don't like me talking down on me.

And then I had peers trying to start problems with me.

And all of that while I was going through a mental breakdown at home.

So it was just a lot.

It was like, I'm trying to work it.

I'm trying to sleep it.

After I gave birth.

to my daughter,

my baby girl, I was just like,

it

take a break from work.

And I was just going out

every weekend with my friends.

It was scary talking to somebody else and giving them a little piece of me, not just my heart, just a little piece of me.

And,

but

I overcame that.

And I just, that's why I feel like I just became a little bit more better, like just resetting.

Yeah, it's a good, it's a good reminder that time is the ultimate reset.

And time does have a healing power that we, you know, the cliche of time heals all wounds.

But it's the truth.

But it's true.

Yeah, it's a cliche because there's truth in it.

Yeah.

There's some reality in it that time and distance and being patient enough.

I was, I was working with a client recently.

who was going through a breakup.

And when we would speak in the first month, she would tell me every single day that she couldn't stop thinking about the guy she was breaking up with, that broke up with her.

And then the second month, she'd tell me every

other day.

And then the third month, she'd tell me once a week.

And then the fourth month, she was just telling me once a month.

And I was like, you don't see it, but I see

that it's affecting you less and less and less as time goes on.

But when it's you, you feel like you're just still stuck there.

And so it's such a great reminder that time time is the ultimate reset and time does heal and and just because time heal like in the meantime don't don't think that like you shouldn't like try to get help because it's like therapy didn't really help me like that it didn't work for you not as much well maybe because maybe because i didn't get to the part of where you get the help

I mean, I did do this like six sessions.

I don't know if y'all know how long.

Like sometimes when I give advice to girls, I'd be like, bitch, boss up, boss up, go to work, get pretty.

But even when I was doing that, I had like a pain in my heart.

And sometimes when I was going out with my friends and I was having a good time, it will always be like around 4:30 a.m.

when it's time to go home

and I'm drunk and I'm thinking to myself,

I am alone.

I don't have nobody to talk to.

And it feels really weird.

And it feels very lonely, especially when you're used to that.

However,

don't avoid that.

Don't like, don't avoid that.

But it will be time that will heal it.

It will be time.

Time just heals everything.

When you said again last week, you were saying when you put new music out, it was kind of the lowest you'd felt.

in another year.

What's the hardest part for you to take that criticism?

Because like like you said you're quick with it you've got responses you've lived in a place where you had people coming at you why is it so hard to put out something you love it seems like you've really put your heart into your work yeah and so when you put that out is is that why the criticism hurts the most because you put so much heart and soul into your work yes because i put like a lot i always

I don't like what, like, I'm not a lazy person and I do understand my flaws.

Well, it's not really my flaws because a lot of people will say something about my accent right but it's funny because my accent to some people might be my flaw but it's also my superpower and what makes me unique some people say that i have a spanish a spanish accent but i really don't really have a spanish accent i have a very unique accent i talk very unique when you try your best to like

Perfect your accent, perfect your flows, perfect everything.

I always try to perfect everything that i'm doing at the time i was trying to perfect it like even when i was a stripper like it's like okay

i'm a stripper but i'm gonna be the best pole dancer in here and i'm gonna bust my ass bust my knees

practice every day and to like up be the best at it that's the same with music i'm gonna perfect it that's the same with my um marketing i'm gonna perfect it that's the same with my business i'm gonna perfect it i like to perfect things.

And if it's not the best things,

if I'm not the best at it, I could say that I tried to be and I worked my ass off to be.

And I didn't make it easy for myself.

So when people just throw it in your face and then make other narratives on top of it with that, it's like.

That is so mean.

And it's also like different narratives of you.

Like, it's like, wow, you don't even know me.

You don't even know me.

And you're making all these stories, scenarios, all this this

over one song.

Like, for example,

when I did this song and people didn't like this song, so many people was like, they just,

Cardi never deserved to be a rapper.

They just made it so easy for her.

And it's funny because it's like, this shit was not given to me.

I worked my ass off from it and I planned it.

Just like you see when I was a little girl, I used to plan

I plan every step,

every single step, and I might even be inspirational to other artists coming up because for a long time, since I have such a big personality, people just felt like

she's funny, she's funny, she's funny.

So, it was really hard for labels to take me serious.

And some labels were trying to

give me scraps to do a slavering record deal.

And

even when I was on TV and I thought that was gonna be my big break for like people to recognize me as an artist, it wasn't.

I was doing good numbers on my mixtape,

it wasn't enough.

So, the money that I was getting for partying and hostings, I took that money,

I made my own concerts, and the best thing about it is that everything is documented.

I did my own concerts,

for 500 to 400 people in New York, 800 people came out

singing my songs.

And I went to a label and I was like, this is why you need to sign me.

It's not just Instagram.

It is real life.

And the $15,000 that I used to get for hosting parties, I used it to rent cars, rent buses, rent venues,

to perform my songs, to show these labels.

Like, it's like, I'm the one.

This shit ain't fake.

This shit ain't a personality thing.

This ain't a love and hip-hop thing.

This is what my music is doing.

This is the people singing it and doing all of that.

And now being this far

after you plan everything

and people will tell you that you don't deserve it and you got it because of this, this, and that.

That pisses me the f off.

Yeah.

Because everything, everything that I did is documented.

This shit wasn't given to me.

I didn't open my legs for it neither.

So that's the type of shit that be getting me angry.

Like it's like, don't tell me that I didn't put the work in

when I put the work in.

There's days that I miss.

I miss birthdays.

I miss birthdays.

I miss family events.

This shit has gotten in the way of like my

personal relationships.

marriage and everything.

Just what somebody told me, somebody that never f ⁇ ing did shit in their motherfucking life told me that i don't deserve it get the out of here

absolutely i mean

you know what though i also find that instagram and tick tock or whatever platform it is

the comments that are negative are just loud

because you can literally go to someone's comment section and see negativity or whatever but then like you said you go to an arena and everyone in the arena screaming their name and singing their songs

and so it is this really weird thing that happened that happens for the mind where where you're watching your page or you're watching yourself on someone else's page and there's criticism, but then actually there's all these other people that love you.

The negativity and the hate is just so loud and people say stuff.

Whereas the people that love you, they just press the heart, right?

So it's always like that weird thing where I'm like, the mind just overvalues negative feedback and undervalues the positive feedback because the negative feedback is just so critical and loud and heavy.

When you reflect on it and after you think about it for a week, do you you think I want to prove them wrong?

Or do you go actually, who cares about them?

Where do you end up after a week of reflecting on it?

Like last week, right?

I was in tears.

And I was telling myself, I was telling myself, like, it's like, not only myself, I told this to my friend, actually.

I told this to my friend.

I was like, sometimes people say, don't let the devil win.

But what happens if you let the devil win?

Maybe I need to let the devil win so I can have a a peace of mind.

And then I'm like thinking to myself, like, why the fuck would I ever say, let the devil win?

Imagine praying to God on your knees every single night, asking God, God, please bless me with this.

God, please give me that.

God, please give me this.

Please give me that.

Please bless me with this.

Please bless me with that.

Just so you could like,

everything that God gave you,

tell the devil here, you can have it.

because he's sending

sometimes the devil sends evil in human forms and human mouths and human and human tongue just so you could tell the devil to have it like imagine how god feels imagine god be like all right baby all right girl here you here here here have this you wanted this here here's what you get

and then

Like imagine, like it's like, it's like he's giving you something.

And then you go to school and they'll be like, that's ugly.

And that's something that you've been asking him for a long time.

And now you don't like it because somebody told you that it's ugly.

Yeah, well said.

And it's like, how almost let the devil win?

And I was telling myself that.

I was telling myself that.

And like I said, I was telling it, but sometimes you got to believe it from the heart because your mind could tell you it.

Your mouth could say it.

You got to believe it from the heart.

This week, though, I feel so much better and I feel so much confident.

And I was like, I'm not going to let the devil win.

I'm not going to be like, you know what?

I was saying my team, like, it's like, you know what?

I just need some days off.

And it's like, how the are you gonna take some days off when your team has been planning all of these, all of these things that you have to do for your album rollout because of these people

that are spewing things that the devil wants you to

think of yourself?

I almost let this motherfucker win.

Don't let the devil win.

Because,

how do you think God feels?

How you think God feels, Cardi

Gave you all this shit you've been asking for forever.

Just so you could say that.

That really pissed me off about myself because I can't believe I said that.

Well, no, I think it's human.

I mean, even as I'm listening to you, I'm thinking everyone will be relieved because, you know, when someone is confident and as bold as you are and as outspoken as you are, which are all amazing qualities, the truth is, though, that...

We all have these human moments.

Yeah.

And it's not a weakness.

It's natural for all of us to feel pain, to experience sadness, to experience, and it humanizes you in a good way.

It makes me feel like, oh, wow, if Cardi feels that, then, hey, I can feel that too, you know?

Like, if she goes through those days and she gets out of them and a week later, she's feeling better.

And a year ago, she was in a real mess and she's feeling better, then maybe I can take something from that as well.

I'm not a perfect person.

I'm not a perfect person.

And sometimes I'm a little bit misunderstood.

How do you think you're misunderstood?

I don't even want to bring this up again, but it's like, I could tell you how I misunderstood.

I actually got dragged for weeks because of this.

So I made

this,

I think I'm just a little misunderstood.

Sometimes I could be, I don't have a dark, I'm not a dark humor person.

I'm not a dark humor person, but sometimes like my humor could be a little rough.

And I feel like my humor could be a little rough because like, you know, like I said, like

boys in the Bronx, they will make really tough jokes on you, and then on top of that, like, it's like a family like mine, we're always cracking jokes on each other.

Like, it's like,

like, being Caribbean, Caribbean people, like, if you're too skinny, they'll be like, girl, you shape like a candle, like, you shape like a candle, just small, like a candle, like a white candle, or like Dominicans, like when you shape like big from the top and small on the bottom, they'll be like, Cuel pueduca.

What does that mean?

It's a certain type of yam okay okay and it's like it's rude but it's like it's just something that is like people just joke around that it's just so naturally so sometimes my jokes might be a little bit not for everybody and when i make certain jokes like like i made a joke the other day with my fans because they they literally started the joke and then i continue the joke And because of the joke and I refuse to apologize for it, people was just saying that I'm just such a mean person, that I was trying to bully people, that I'm hurtful to people.

But it's like, I wasn't even trying to hurt nobody.

My intent wasn't to hurt nobody.

It's just like, everybody naturally jokes with their friends.

Everybody naturally jokes with their peers.

Everybody just might say, not

the most nicest jokes or stuff like that.

However, like, I'm not trying to hurt nobody.

I don't want to hurt nobody.

And So many people criticize me because of that or like judge my character because of that.

But it's like, I'm not this evil, mean person that people think that I am.

I'm very actually compassionate.

I'm too compassionate.

That's why I cry for, there's something that might be going on in the other side of the world.

And I'm crying for it.

And it's like, why am I crying for this?

Like, this is crazy.

I'm very compassionate and I'm very understanding.

And I'm a Libra.

So I see always two sides of the scale.

I always have sympathy just a little.

I ever have sympathy for bitches.

I have sympathy for bitches that f my man and they have taken a family loss.

I'm like, damn, I feel bad for her.

That's how sympathetic I am.

Why do you feel sympathy for them?

Like, where does that come from?

Or what do you feel?

I don't know.

It's just

how you're made.

It's just how I'm, that's just how I'm made or stuff like that.

That's just how I am.

However,

people just have this.

thought of me and that's because my mouth is so rough like i'm a little rough and i curse like a sailor

and i give advice very strong

but everybody in my family give advice like very strong and i don't have yes men's neither so my friends will give me advice in the most rudest way that it's like damn bitch do you like me but it's the truth

And that's just how I am.

That's how I'm going to talk to you.

And that's just how I am because it's the truth.

And you're like that with everyone.

It doesn't change for anyone.

And I'm like that with everyone.

How about the kids?

Oh, I'm like that.

I'm like that with my kids too.

Like,

little fks.

God damn it, I'm tired.

But you can't tell me I'm a bad mom.

I'm a great mom.

If I'm good at something, it's being a mom.

But sometimes I'll be like, get the f, you little f.

Get the f.

God damn it, I'm sick of you.

That's just how I talk.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Does that make me a bad mom?

I don't think I'm I'm a bad mom.

Shit, I give them too much.

It's funny you say that.

I was talking to a parenting expert on the podcast a few weeks ago, and she was saying that parenting is the most inconvenient thing.

She goes, you love them, but they're inconvenient.

Like, it's hard, like if you're honest about it.

And so

there's a real feeling about how tough being a mom is.

How do you balance being a superstar and being a mom?

Like, how do you make it?

You said it yourself you want to be the best at everything when you do something you want to be the best at it so i assume that applies to being a mom too yeah and so it's like how do you do that what what is it to you what makes you a great mom what are the parts that you focus on and how do you balance those two crazy worlds i think that what makes me

i think that what makes me like a good mom i don't give my kids it's not that i give my kids everything but they just think i'm so funny Like even when I curse at them, they just think I'm so funny.

And it's like, I'm being serious with y'all, but they just love me.

I don't know why they, I mean, of course, I know why they love me, but it's like, why y'all love me so much?

I guess I'm a good mom because they love me so much.

They just think I'm so entertaining.

They think I'm so fun.

Even when we just laying in bed, they just want to lay in bed with me.

Ain't no Target.

We ain't going to know the goddamn Target yet.

We ain't going to no Target.

Don't ask me for no motherfucking goddamn Roblox.

That's exactly how.

Don't come in here asking me for no goddamn Roblox.

You ask me one more time for a iPad for one of your cousins.

We're going to have a problem.

I, this is exactly how I talk to my kids, and they still love me, they just love me.

I don't know, they love me for who I am, they love me.

I don't even know how to explain it.

I do, I do give them everything, though, but not

giving them everything doesn't always make you the greatest mom because it's like you've seen, you've seen cases where like the parents work so hard, they give they parent their kids everything, and it's not enough.

Like them two brothers, what's they call again?

Uh, oh, yeah, the uh Menendez, brother.

Yeah, you could give them everything, but if they don't love you, they just don't love you.

And I don't know, they just

love me.

I just always remind them that I love them, but I will curse them out, though.

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What's a quality or a skill that you have that you really want them to learn and develop and grow as they get older?

I know they're young right now, but please don't be a bum.

Please don't be a bum.

Please don't be lazy.

Some people are

some people have the look, the intelligence, the talent.

Some people really have that,

but they don't go nowhere because they're lazy.

Don't be lazy.

Don't just be, oh, your parents are this and that.

No, be your own person, be your own human, be something.

Be something, be something that you could be proud of.

My mom, she was not, she's, she was, she was a lunch lady practically, but I am very proud of my mom because she used to work her ass off.

She could have gone to my grandma, like, I'm going through a tough time right now.

Can you raise my kids for a year or two?

She never did that.

My grandmother's as well.

One of them got 10 kids.

The other one got 13 kids.

They work

every day.

My grandma from my dad's side, she gave birth on her kids in her wooden house.

And then a couple of days later, she working back in the farm.

And she brought all her kids to America.

one by one, different time.

Same with my grandma.

She had, for my mom's side, she had 13 kids.

She used to cook, cook, cook, cook, cook, sell food, sell food, sell food.

She brought all her 13 kids over here.

Like there's no excuse, but I could say that because they did that.

And you're going to be able to say that about me.

Like it's like my mom worked every day.

I seen my mom work every day.

Be that.

Be that.

One day you're going to have kids one day and you want your kids to say that about you.

that you worked hard every day, that everything you got, you deserved it, that you made it.

Nobody gave it to you.

You don't want to be like, oh, you just, you just successful because you a whole man.

Like I have son.

I have a son.

You don't want nobody to say that you fly

and you fire because you somebody's son.

No, I'm fly because I'm my own man.

I made myself a man.

I worked my ass off.

You going to have a bitch one day?

You don't want your bitch to be like, oh, he a mama boy.

He a daddy's girl.

No.

I'm a hardworking man, baby girl.

You can f ⁇ on.

Same with my daughters.

Ain't no nigga going to roll you over because you got your own shit.

You're more than just a pretty face.

Be a boss.

Be something.

Please.

I don't give a fuck what they do, whatever the just, just do not have that lazy bone on you.

Like,

ain't no way that I'm busting my ass for you, motherfuckers,

just so you could end up not being shit.

I'm giving y'all everything.

Even when they're 18 and stuff like that, and it's time to leave.

If you want an apartment,

if you want a car i'll give it to you but please please

become something

don't be nothing please don't be nothing that would be the worst disappointment they could ever do don't disappoint me like that whatever y'all do just don't be a nothing

if if you give it to them though don't you think they'll be lazy then because if you give them an apartment and you give them a car then they'll feel like well i don't need to work because mom's got me no because it's like like all right for example, I, I went to college.

I went to college, right?

But I had to drop out of college because I had to work to just feed myself.

If you got a crib and if you could maneuver to college or you probably want to open up a business or something, if you can maneuver, you don't got to worry about a bill, then

It becomes easier for you.

But don't get, don't make me give you an apartment or a f ⁇ ing car and you just out here not doing shit.

I better every single time I FaceTime you, you better be doing something.

If you're in bed at 12 p.m.,

yeah,

ain't that car under my name?

Oh, it's coming with me.

You need it, you need the real world, yeah.

You need you, I'm gonna have to, and don't go to your daddy.

You know, let me go into your daddy.

I will take the shit away.

I don't play that.

You ain't gonna be nothing.

Yeah, you're clear.

You got two feet, you got two hands, you got a brain.

You better do some shit.

Yeah, for sure.

I found like I started working when I was 14.

I used to deliver newspapers at the time.

And then I started working at a grocery store.

I used to work at the back and stack the shelves, pick up all the pallets, bring all the goods in, work back of house.

And then I worked and sold jeans at some jean shop.

It's like I found working since I was 14 is what made me realize the value of work.

And I've been working hard ever since.

And it's, if I didn't start working hard at 14 i feel like my parents didn't have anything to give me either yeah but i feel like that work ethic has to start early it do have to start early and that's why like it's like like sometimes when my parents here come my parents sometimes my parents they be getting my nerves sometimes like they be getting my nerves sometimes because like my kids they have school till 3 p.m right and after school I don't care and I don't want y'all at home talking about like I'm a little tough and shit.

I don't give a f ⁇ .

This is what I work hard for.

After school, my kids, four times a week, they have tutoring, reading, math, whatever they have tutoring mandatory in my house.

Then, culture have piano or she got gym class.

Wave, he got sports class and he still got to do the tutoring.

And I don't, I'm feeling sleepy.

I don't, I don't want to hear that shit.

I don't want to hear that shit.

It's discipline.

It got to be in you.

And you have to be better than me.

I want you to be better than me.

There's things that I cannot do that i want my kids to do i don't know how to swim i would love to swim

but the one time i went to a pool in high bridge there was a crazy fight that broke out people was getting cut left to right so i couldn't go swimming because i had no pool if i have a pool you're gonna learn how to swim you're gonna take your swimming classes

I'm not really good with my feet.

So you're gonna take dance classes because if you wanna, if you ever wanna be a superstar, superstar, that shit going to be in you that you are a dancer.

I want you to be smarter than me.

Like, I could read down,

but my grammar is not that great.

I want you to be not perfect because you cannot make your kids perfect and you don't want to put pressure on your kids perfect, but I want you to be a hundred times better version than me.

And I'm going to install that in you.

And you're going to be mad and you're going to be crying, but you're going to appreciate that one day.

Because

I wish things that

I put on my kids that somebody put in me when I was younger.

But they couldn't put that in me when I was younger because they couldn't afford it.

And they couldn't really have time to be like

Buckley's Buckley's Buckley's Hennessy, Hennessy, Hennessy, because they had to work.

I have to work, but I'm going to give you classes for it.

Grab me something, boy.

Brabby something, girl.

I'm playing with y'all.

I love it.

I love it.

Success is so much of who you are.

It's who you breathe.

It's what you do.

What makes Cardi B happy?

It's like little, little elements.

Like my kids make me very happy.

They're just so cute and funny.

Like, it's just,

and they say stupid stuff.

Like, it's like, what do they say?

Just things that it's like,

girl, what?

It's funny.

And it's funny seeing your kids grow and develop a little character in them.

Like, when my baby, she be hitting her brother, her sister, it'd be so funny to me because it's like a baby, and she's,

and they're, and they're just there taking it.

So, to me, little things like that is funny and makes me happy.

Romance, you know, I'm saying, when I'm, when I'm in love and when we're having a good, you know, we're having a good week, when you're showing that you care, that makes me happy.

You know,

actually,

when I did saw a piece of an interview with Selena Gomez and you, where she said, I might have a 14 hour

day

and just one phone call and knowing somebody's there for you is a good feeling that's a good feeling as well

what else is a good feeling for me

when I'm with my cousins when I'm with my family and we just cracking jokes and it just feels it feels like

It feels like childhood.

It makes me happy.

Music make me very happy.

I love music.

when me and my team we plan

something we put in so much work and it goes good that makes me happy that makes me happy the team happy and it motivates me and it motivates my team and it more and it's just like we did it so stuff like that stuff like that makes me happy seeing all the work that you do

and the time that you put, the process, the progress that you put, and it's like, it hits, it's successful.

That makes you really happy.

Like, it's like, thank God, thank you, Jesus.

It makes you want to keep going.

Just like that's a good list.

Yeah, that's a good list.

I like it.

It's all connection.

It's all real.

It's human.

It's love.

It's family.

It's friends.

It's intimacy.

It's, it's, it's all the, it's all, it is all the most beautiful things that we're all looking for.

How do you see love now?

Like, how do you define love?

Effort.

It's not going to always be perfect.

Effort is, is like a lot to me.

It means a lot to me.

Like calling me, studying me, personality as well.

I love me a joke.

I love me a hee, he.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, if you, if, if I'm, if I come to you and I'm in tears, when was it last week?

I saw, I saw my little boyfriend.

I saw my boyfriend.

And I was in tears.

I was like, it's so much pressure on me.

Like, it's so much pressure on me.

And just one little joke,

I'm in tears i kind of forgot the joke but it was so funny that's good and like snack coming out of my nose and it's like it made me laugh it just made me feel good and it's just like you know what things are gonna be okay yeah

someone you can someone you can someone who can make you laugh cry and someone who can be there for you when you're crying real hard tears yeah I like that.

And I like effort.

I like what you said, study you.

Yeah.

That was really interesting.

Now, I've never heard that before, but I like it.

The idea that if someone loves you, they study you.

What does that mean to you?

Tell me about that.

I like that one a lot.

Certain things are just the obvious.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, certain things is like, are you really studying me, or it's just the obvious?

Like, for example, if you get me a purse, if you get me a Birkin or a Kelly, right?

It makes me happy, of course.

Like, who, who don't, who, which, which woman don't a bag make them happy?

But you know that that's what I like.

So it's not like you study it.

It's like you see it on my page.

But like when you do things that you don't normally do, but you're doing it because you heard me talk about this.

Like, like when you rent a castle, and I know you don't want to be in this old ass castle that you literally got to go up and down the stairs just so you could pee and it's hot and there's no air conditioner.

When you rent a castle out, just so you could,

just because you, you keep saying like, oh, I can't wait, I can't wait to have a day off in Paris so I could go to Versailles.

I'm obsessed with castles.

I'm obsessed with kings.

I'm obsessed with queens.

And it's like you listen to that and you like do your best to make it happen.

It's like

little things like that.

Yeah.

So you're always leaving clues.

It's not even like leaving clues.

It's just like me talking about it.

It's just me, just you talking.

It's just me talking.

It's like it means stuff

to me and stuff like that.

When you get to know my personality too and get to study me,

it's like, okay.

Because

I think I'm a hard person to figure out.

Some people just see me and think certain things

until you really get to figure me out and crack me.

Because I might give you what I want to give you.

You haven't cracked me yet.

Will anyone ever crack you?

Is it possible?

Yeah.

Little by little, I open up

and I show more of myself, my real self.

Yeah.

It's been seven years since you released new music.

And you've talked to me about releasing it, the hard work that went into it, the journey that got you there, why you waited.

What finally made you feel confident that you had the right piece of work?

What did you put into it?

How did you know that now is the right time and the work was ready?

Because it feels good.

It feels good.

Like, it's like

this.

I feel like people are missing this.

It feels good.

I feel good.

I feel confident about it.

I feel very confident about it, to be honest with you.

So,

that's why I'm like, it's time.

Yeah.

Where did the name, Am I the Drama?

What inspired that?

What's the subtext?

What's the hidden meanings behind it?

I don't want to keep saying when I was a little girl.

But it's funny.

Like, it's like.

Say it.

I love it.

I love knowing that you manifested this.

It's beautiful.

No, because it's like, ever since I was a little girl,

i always get in trouble

and it don't really be me like it's like if we having a sleepover me and my cousins i will be the one that the aunt is pulling their ears because it's like yeah i know this was your idea but even was it wasn't even my idea sometimes when i used to go to school and i used to fight my mom used to be like Didn't I tell you to avoid the fight?

And it's like, mom, I swear to God, it's not me.

It's these girls.

They keep trying me.

That's why I keep getting into fights.

And when I was in school, too, like, it's like, when I do get in trouble just because I'm being mischievous, it's like,

like, my friends' moms used to be like, it's because of her.

It's because of it.

It's because of Belkalese.

I know it's her.

And it's like, it don't really be me.

It really don't be me.

And that's just how it is with my life.

Like, it's like, yo, I'm always in a scandal.

I'm always in some bullshit.

I'm always in some beef.

And it's like, no matter how much I avoid it, it comes to me.

Am I the drama?

Is it me, Jesus?

Is it me?

No matter how much I avoid it, no matter how much I think I'm in a bubble and it's like, nope, that bubble is always going to pop.

Something's always going to find you, girl.

But

that's why I'm like, am I the drama?

Why am I always in some shit?

Whether it's good or bad, why am I always in some shit?

What's the answer?

Am I?

That's the that's that

the answer is still the question.

Am I?

Am I?

Only one person can answer that, and that's Jesus.

Because, God, why the f am I always in some shit?

When is the f ⁇ ing boat gonna start smooth sailing?

Why are we always in the ocean, in the middle of the ocean?

and the roughest we in the we in the pacific ocean all the time

i love that it's a great question it's a great question it lines up for a great album it's it's it's such a great name it's such a great such a great energy even just hearing you talk about it is such a great vibe what's the uh

i mean how does it feel when that drama gets televised and then it's all over tick tock how does that feel Yep, sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad.

You always show up looking fabulous, fabulous, but I'm like, how does that feel when, like, you know?

Well, I try to come in here having eyes like you, but one of one of the contacts wasn't cooperating.

So I'm like, I'm not taking this other contact off.

So that's why we have the.

Yeah, that's why we got three blue eyes on set.

It's T4.

I love it.

I love it.

I love it.

How does it feel when your drama is televised?

Like when that is televised?

How does that feel?

It just feels sometimes it feels okay because there's gonna be people that's gonna cheer for you, and sometimes it's gonna be very overwhelming, like

and very stressful, very annoying.

And then it's like

unlike other celebrities, you know, a lot of people be wanting me to be like certain celebrities and stuff like that.

Oh, really?

Like, who?

Like, they just want me to be like the type of person that just don't respond, that don't tell my feelings.

And

they be thinking that some of these celebrities, like, they're perfect,

which

they are amazing, but don't think they're not going through what I'm going through.

Don't think they don't feel like what the pressure that I go through.

Don't think they're not saying,

yeah,

I hate you, motherfuckers.

Who the f do you think you are to tell me that I'm this, this, and who the fk do you think you this and that?

I'm just the person that tells it.

So

it's a blessing and a curse because sometimes I feel like I speak for them.

And that's why when a lot of celebrities see me, they be like, yo, you be saying what I want to say.

That's cool.

But then sometimes it's like a curse because sometimes people be like, it's like, oh, you the only one that do that.

You the only one that do that.

And it's like, well, I'll be the one that do that.

Yeah.

I can't do it all the time, though, because then people are going to think I'm just crazy.

But I'll be the one to do that.

Y'all need to leave people alone.

Y'all think because us celebrity, we make a little money and we make a little this, like, because that bitch,

I have feelings too, ho.

I ain't no chopped liver.

So

maybe that's why I'm sometimes like the punching bags.

And sometimes people be like, you need to stop doing that, you need to stop being this, you need to be more like them.

And it's like, they feel the same way I feel too.

They want to tell these people, yeah,

you and your mom, and your dad,

and your whole bloodline.

How the f are you talking on me?

Fuck you.

Trust me.

They want to say that.

They want to say that.

Yeah, I think everyone does.

But I'll be the one to say it.

But that's because sometimes it do feel good to say it.

Fuck you.

Bitch, f ⁇ you.

I'll be the one.

Yeah.

Not all the time, but I'll be the one.

Yeah.

Yeah, I could see that from all the clips that I've seen.

Like, you're always yourself.

Like, you're never not yourself, wherever you are.

The glam, the looks, the fashion, the wigs, the everything that comes out of your mouth.

It's like

you're never filtering yourself, no matter the environment you're in.

Oh, trust me, I filter myself a lot.

Oh, you do?

Sometimes I feel like, damn, who the fk am I?

Who the f have I become?

Because I used to have no filter.

Now it's just like I'll be like, all right,

but still f you though.

Where do you filter yourself?

If you ever do where do you filter yourself

This mouth

I could be a piranha

What are we today a shark?

No, today's

no today.

I'm a goldfish.

Okay, today

I said nothing bad today.

I'm a goldfish

today.

You have been wonderful, but it's like sometimes I'll be seeing people and I'll be like,

I could get really nasty.

Just off facts, I could get really nasty.

But you hold back something.

But I hold back so much.

I hold back so much, so much, so much, so much, so much, so much.

I really, you know what?

I really did change a lot.

I don't know what changed me.

Maybe, maybe the age.

Maybe the kids.

Maybe life.

You softened up a bit.

I've always been soft, but I could really give it to you.

And I won't stop, but I stopped.

Just for

is it the age?

Is it the kids?

Which one is it?

All of them, all of the above.

It's a combination.

Age really wisen you

wisen you and make you afraid.

Yeah.

Got more to lose.

I think that plays a big part.

When you're young and you're dreaming and you want all these things, no one ever tells you the cost that it comes at.

Yeah.

And how much

it tests you and brings all sorts of other challenges into your life, yeah, yeah.

You've talked about how money doesn't fix everything, and success doesn't solve everything,

and it almost feels like when you don't have those things, you think it will, yeah, and then when you get it, you realize, oh, wait, there's all this other stuff that we haven't figured out yet.

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What is something that you're still trying to figure out, learn, solve in your own life?

What's the part of your life you're like working on, dreaming, envisioning, imagining to be better and different?

I mean, life in general.

All of it.

All of it, to be honest with you.

Life just doesn't get...

I wonder when life is going to start getting easier.

Because life is just hard.

No matter if you have money or not,

you got problems when you're poor.

You got problems where you're rich.

You're just always just trying to figure it.

Every single day, I feel like people are just trying to figure it out, trying to figure themselves out, trying to figure life out.

And it just will never stop.

It will never stop, I think.

One will do will stop when you're 60.

But even when you're 60, you're going to start having other problems, like back problems.

it is like another thing, another problem that you got to figure out.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, it's like, it just would never stop.

Yeah.

The older you get, the more people you lose.

The more kids you have, the more things you have to worry about.

The more money you have, the more you have to learn about managing.

You have a partner.

Or when you don't have a partner, you got to figure out how you, if you want to, how you want to deal with being alone.

When you have a partner, is that how you got to figure out how to be the piece in everything?

And I really don't want people thinking either that it's like just because you have money, like it's that you live the easy life.

Everybody that that have money, that are successful, that are good

at what they do, if you notice a pattern, they work their asses off.

Think that Beyonce got a f ⁇ ing boat in a mansion and this and that because she's just

Beyonce?

No, she work her ass off.

She's one of the most hardest people ever.

Why people cannot go to her level?

Why people cannot this and that?

Because Because they just, she just have an insane work ethic,

insane time.

And my partner, he wakes up every day at 5.30, 6 a.m.

and leave work at 7 p.m.

And then you got people that hate on him.

And it's like, well, why he's so good?

Because

he works hard.

Why am I here after seven years?

Because I'm every day.

Every day,

working every day.

What are we doing next?

Hello, what y'all doing?

Wake up.

I got a certain plan.

I just thought of something.

I just had a dream of something.

We got to make it happen.

And working hard, you could say working hard, and it sounds like working hard, but it's like it's hours and hours.

It's hours.

It's time.

It's body, it's brain.

I'm exhausted.

I'm really exhausted right now.

Back hurt, butt hurt.

I'm sleepy as shit.

I got a headache on the right side of my head.

When I'm working.

After this,

I got to do a promo shoot and then I'm going to the studio.

And then tomorrow I got to do something else every single day.

Every single day, every single day.

If you want it, you got to do it.

Ain't no complaining, no crying shit.

In this conversation, you've talked about Jesus.

You talked about the devil.

Do you talk to God a lot?

Do you pray?

Every day.

Every day.

I feel like I have a very deep

spiritual connection with God.

And it's not even like about praying.

It's like talking.

Like even when I talk to God, I talk to him just like I'm talking to you.

I'll be cursing.

I love that.

Crying.

Because people are like, oh, cursing is bad.

But it's like, God knows, God knows, God knows who I am.

God knows how I'd be.

Like, it's like, it's almost like I'm talking to a friend.

And I really do believe

in my weird mind, in my weird universe that I made.

Like I have, I have angels.

I really do believe that God gave me angels.

And I believe in them.

I feel like God is here.

And I feel like you got your angels here, then you got your other religions here.

I believe in God so

much.

It's not even funny.

And you know, some people might not believe in God, but it's like, don't try, like, it's like, I'm not going to convince nobody to believe in what I believe in.

But if it,

how you expect me not to believe on the person that I've been praying to my whole life and gave me what I wanted?

So that little girl was talking to God in that dream.

Always, all the time.

It's like the imaginary friend, the voice in your head, that you think is your friend, that you think is

your voice.

That was just you talking to God the whole time.

That's just you talking to God the whole time.

I love him.

I believe in him.

I always tell this to somebody, like, it's like the most, the most, the most I could give you, the most powerful thing that I could give you is me praying on you.

If I pray on you for you, it's because I love you.

It's the most powerful

thing.

And I do feel like when you pray together, miracles happen.

I love him.

I love you so much.

Why do you love me so much?

Why do you love me so much?

Tell everybody, I'm like one of your favorite kids.

Tell them.

Jesus, Lord, tell these people, I'm one of your favorites.

Don't lie to them.

That's beautiful.

Cardi, you've been so

generous with your time, your energy, your heart.

I really felt, you know, this surpassed every one of my expectations that I had of meeting you and getting to interview you.

I knew there was so much spirit.

I knew there was so much soul.

I knew there was just this energy inside that I'm really grateful you let share today and people get to know you a bit more deeply.

We end every episode with a final five.

These questions have to be answered in one word to one sentence maximum.

So, Cardi B, these are your final five.

You know, I talk a lot.

I know, you can, you can.

You think I guess answer with one word?

I'm giving you permission.

You can.

All right.

So, question number one: We ask these to every guest who's been on the show.

What is the best advice you've ever heard or received?

Well, I'm going to go with one advice that I heard today.

No, I didn't heard it today.

I heard it yesterday.

Ask the difficult questions.

The difficult questions

make the relationship stronger.

It could break it.

It could make it, but you still have an understanding.

If you become that understanding, then you might become stronger.

You said it better.

You said it better.

Whoever said it, you said it better.

Question number two.

What is the worst advice you've ever heard or received?

I think you've heard a lot.

Sometimes when somebody told me to wear a certain outfit or when somebody told me to drop a certain song, you never know.

You could go from here to that.

Question number three, finish the sentence.

One thing I'll never apologize for is

well, sometimes I'm apologizing for my mouth.

Sometimes I might, maybe I'm a little too hard.

I don't know.

I'll apologize for my mouth sometimes, but not all the time.

Question number four, what's something that you used to value that you don't value anymore?

I haven't had like

the streets.

I value it a lot and I don't.

I value it because it made me and it gave me a certain mentality.

But I wouldn't want to

advise that to people that I love, people that I care, or to young kids, to young boys, to young girls,

because it don't always lead you to where you think it's going to lead you.

It's very grimy.

It don't love you back ever.

And fifth and final question, we ask this to every guest who's been on the show.

If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?

If I was Kim Yong-nyun,

what law?

I'm not sure.

I got to come back to that.

Yeah, think about it.

Matter of fact.

If you hurt children, you got to get, what's that thing when they clip you?

cast cash,

whatever it's called.

You just gotta be clipped.

And if you're a woman, they need to burn it.

Oh, wow.

If you hurt kids, wow.

Yeah, that should be a mandatory thing all over the world.

Wow.

Because kids are so precious.

They're so precious.

They're so innocent.

Well, some of them, some of them are kind of evil.

They're born with the devil inside them.

If you see Dr.

Murray read, some of them are like, oh,

you was born to die.

You was born to be a devil.

Jesus.

Jesus upon you, child.

cardi b everyone the album is called am i the drama i'm so excited for everyone to hear it love your energy love your spirit so grateful to have spent this time together

and uh all the best god bless and i hope that you continue to succeed and win at life and keep being the energy and force that you are so thank you so much thank you thank you if you love this episode you'll really enjoy my episode with selena gomez on befriending your inner critic and how to speak to yourself with more compassion.

My fears are only going to continue to show me what I'm capable of.

The more that I face my fears, the more that I feel I'm gaining strength, I'm gaining wisdom, and I just want to keep doing that.

This is an iHeart podcast.