10 Things I Am Leaving Behind in 2024 to Make Space for 2025

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Speaker 16 No one's really judging you for that long because they're judging themselves more.

Speaker 16 No one's really criticizing you that much because they're criticizing themselves more. Give them and yourself some grace and compassion.
Leave that self-consciousness that blocks you behind.

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Speaker 16 Hey, everyone. Welcome back to On Purpose.
I'm your host, Jay Shetty,

Speaker 16 and I can't believe it's the end of another year. Doesn't it feel like every year just gets faster and faster and faster?

Speaker 16 And

Speaker 16 time truly does travel in a way that we can't comprehend. And I think when it comes around to the new year, a lot of us are thinking about New Year's resolutions.

Speaker 16 we're thinking about new habits, and those are all great.

Speaker 16 But one of the things I've realized over the years is that in order to make space for new habits, new ideas, new routines, new skills, new abilities, we have to leave things behind.

Speaker 16 We have to make space by letting go. We're not always going to be able to find new patterns, new routines, new habits if we still have old ideas, old mindsets, and old thought processes.

Speaker 16 One of my favorite stories told by the Buddha is about a person who is on a journey. And on their journey, they come across their first obstacle.

Speaker 16 Just like you and me, they have a challenge in their way. Their challenge happens to be a fast-flowing river.

Speaker 16 And this person knows that if they dip their toe in, they'll be swept away with the current. So they decide to craft a raft.

Speaker 16 They find bamboo, they find some wood, they find some rope, they tie it together, they lay it down, they even make themselves an oar, and then they paddle with all their might and all their energy just to get to the other side.

Speaker 16 And finally, after lots of paddling, lots of pushing, they make it to the other side. And they think to themselves, this raft saved my life.
I always want this raft to be with me.

Speaker 16 I can't leave it behind. So they strap the raft to their back and continue to walk.
Now, just like all of us have more than one challenge in our life, this person too comes to their next challenge.

Speaker 16 And their next challenge isn't a fast-flowing river. It's a tall wooded forest.
with trees dotted at every other step.

Speaker 16 As they're trying to maneuver and move through the forest, the raft that's strapped to their back is getting stuck, it's getting chipped, they're trying to navigate and they're trying to shift and move, but the raft keeps getting damaged and they keep falling back.

Speaker 16 The Buddha says that this person has an important choice to make. They either hold on to the raft and struggle to get through, or they put down the raft and walk through freely.

Speaker 16 The Buddha says that we also have the same dilemma and choice in life.

Speaker 16 We can either hold on to old mindsets that helped us in the past, old ideas that served us in the past, old habits that may have made sense in the past and we can struggle to move forward, or we can recognize that we can always rebuild that raft, put it down, and walk through freely, developing new skills, new mindsets, new ideas.

Speaker 16 The Buddha said that on this occasion, this person put down their raft and walked through freely. This is what today's episode is about.
What am I letting go and leaving behind of in 2024?

Speaker 16 If I truly want 2025 to be a new year, what old parts of me do I have to leave behind? If I truly want to build a new year's resolution or habit, Which old ones do I want to leave behind?

Speaker 16 And if I truly want to create a new life, which old mindsets am I willing to leave behind?

Speaker 16 And so I wanted to talk about this in the hope that you'll also reflect on what's something that you realize no longer serves you.

Speaker 16 What's something that isn't helping you to move forward, push forward? What is it that is actually holding you back? As the famous Zen saying goes, What's holding us back is what we're holding on to.

Speaker 16 What is your raft and how can you leave it behind? Number 10 as to what I'm leaving behind in 2024

Speaker 16 is avoiding making mistakes.

Speaker 16 This is a world and a culture that favors people who take risks. Those risks can be personal.

Speaker 16 For example, deciding as my wife and I did around eight years ago, to upend our lives and move to a new country, a new city.

Speaker 16 They can be professional, like deciding to launch a small business or write the screenplay you've always dreamed about writing, or experimenting with a new hobby, whether it's learning how to play the guitar or learn Italian or become a birdwatcher.

Speaker 16 But often what gets in the way of our taking those risks is our fear of making mistakes. More specifically, our fear of future regret.

Speaker 16 We tell ourselves that if we make the wrong decision, it will be with us for the rest of our lives. And we'll lose all respect for ourselves and so will everyone else.

Speaker 16 I'm here to tell you, that's just not true.

Speaker 16 If you look at any life or any career or anyone who has ever taken a positive risk that paid off, you will find that the pavement they walk to get to the place is literally littered with mistakes.

Speaker 16 Mistakes are a part of life. I don't know about you, but I've never been 37 years old before.
So of course I'm going to make mistakes, just as I did when I was 27 and 17.

Speaker 16 Let's also remember that some of the greatest inventions in history, most of them in fact, came as the direct result of mistakes and accidents. Velcro, potato chips, pacemakers, the microwave oven.

Speaker 16 In 2025, more than ever, I want to let go of the idea that mistakes are bad things, and instead lean into them.

Speaker 16 As Alexander Fleming, the doctor who discovered penicillin by mistake, said about his discovery, one sometimes finds what one is not looking for.

Speaker 16 What I've found is that anyone who moved fast, anyone who grew fast, made mistakes. And if we didn't make mistakes, it means we were moving too slow.

Speaker 16 And chances are we weren't happy with that pace of growth. You will make mistakes.
You can't avoid mistakes. The biggest mistake is to try to never make a mistake.

Speaker 16 The biggest mistake is to be so scared of other people's judgment that you don't try something new.

Speaker 16 The biggest mistake is to let go of your dreams because of how you think other people will think about you. You will make mistakes.
Start that podcast anyway.

Speaker 16 You will make mistakes. Write that book anyway.

Speaker 16 You will make mistakes.

Speaker 16 Start making content anyway.

Speaker 16 You will make mistakes. Move cities anyway.

Speaker 16 You will make mistakes.

Speaker 5 Do it anyway.

Speaker 16 Because if you try to avoid making mistakes, nothing will change and nothing will happen. Number nine, I want to leave self-consciousness behind and take forward consciousness and awareness.

Speaker 16 We live in a world of our own construction, a kingdom that lives inside our own heads, so to speak. We don't see the world as it is, someone once said.
We see it as we are.

Speaker 16 Realize that everyone around you is wearing a lens that determines and influences how they see the world.

Speaker 16 Yes, we can all agree on certain things, a concept known as consensual reality, but most of the time the lenses of others will in no way resemble yours.

Speaker 16 I say this because when we go to the supermarket or go shopping for a new outfit outfit or go on a bike ride, our very human tendency is to believe we are the center of the world and the center of attention and that all eyes are on us, which of course makes sense since we are the center of our own attention.

Speaker 16 Well, guess what? No one's watching or judging you with as much focus or in as much detail as you're observing yourself.

Speaker 16 Another example of consensual reality is that despite the glasses each of us is born wearing, other people are a lot like us in the sense they're focused mostly on themselves and wondering what you think of them.

Speaker 16 Which is why I'll leave any traces of self-consciousness behind me in 2024.

Speaker 16 The best part, no one's going to notice, but me. See, what I mean by this is you are fearful because you're scared of what people will think.

Speaker 16 You're not chasing your dreams because you're scared of what people will think. You're not pursuing your passion because you're scared of what people will think.

Speaker 16 You're not listening to your inner voice because you're concerned about everyone else's noise.

Speaker 16 And when you think about that, you realize that that person thought about you for two minutes, maybe once a year.

Speaker 16 Maybe two minutes once a month, maybe two minutes, once a week, maybe two minutes, once a day. But most of their time was spent thinking about themselves.

Speaker 16 No one's really thinking about you because they're thinking about themselves more.

Speaker 16 No one's really judging you for that long because they're judging themselves more.

Speaker 16 No one's really criticizing you that much because they're criticizing themselves more. Give them and yourself some grace and compassion.

Speaker 16 Leave that self-consciousness that blocks you behind because it's not serving anyone. The number eight goes to the belief that busy is good.

Speaker 16 Have you ever called up a friend or a colleague and asked them how they're doing or how their day is going?

Speaker 16 Nine times out of ten, they'll tell you that they're busy, that they have virtually no time to themselves, that they're juggling a bunch of different projects and have 125 unread emails in their inbox.

Speaker 16 If you're expecting to hear the word, I'm fine, Jay, thanks for asking, what about you? Odds are you won't, or maybe a quick text message. Instead, you will most likely hear the word busy.

Speaker 16 Busy in today's culture has become a badge of honor, a flag of sorts.

Speaker 16 It communicates to the world that we're popular, in demand, and more indirectly, probably extremely good at what we do for a living. Now, it can also make us feel like that's how we feel value.

Speaker 16 Hey, I'm busy.

Speaker 5 I've got lots on.

Speaker 16 And that's how we define our own value. It says that we're plugged in, connected, and on the fast track in our careers and professions, or that we've just got an overwhelming amount of stuff to do.

Speaker 16 That we want some attention, we want to be seen, we want to be heard, and there's just too much going on. When asked how you are, do you say busy?

Speaker 16 I fear that a lot of the time, without thinking about it, I do. And it's a response and a concept I'm eager to leave behind in 2024 for many reasons.
First, busy isn't everything.

Speaker 16 In fact, busy is oftentimes misused.

Speaker 16 Busy can be a defense, a form of sublimination, a way of ignoring other things you should be thinking about, like your happiness or your mood state or your mental or physical health.

Speaker 16 Finally, what does it say about us as a culture that when someone asks us sincerely how we're doing, a personal question, we reply in a professional capacity that we're busy. And what about you?

Speaker 16 Are you busy too? In 2025, if someone calls to ask how I'm doing, I plan on giving them a straight honest answer in the spirit of how the question was asked.

Speaker 16 One that has nothing to do with what's on my desk or in my calendar. Try it for yourself.
You might be surprised by the words that come out of your mouth.

Speaker 16 I think one of the biggest things I've seen here is that it's about how we believe we're valuable. So I would encourage you to all think about that.
Do you feel you're valuable?

Speaker 16 Do you feel your day is effective? and your day is a success because you're busy? Or do you actually end the day and realize that a busy day was not a beautiful day?

Speaker 16 A busy day maybe didn't even lead to the achievements and the effectiveness you wanted to have. And so really, really take a moment to think about it.

Speaker 16 Really, really take a moment to figure out what do you want the answer to that question to be?

Speaker 16 It may be like, I've got a lot on, but do you have a lot on because you think having a lot on is the right way to think about life? Now, we all have a lot to do. We all have a lot going on.

Speaker 16 But actually, are you just very organized? Are you prioritized? Are you being effective? Are you being productive?

Speaker 16 What's the language that you want to use that creates a healthy relationship with yourself and the idea of being busy? Now, number seven, turning down the noise.

Speaker 16 When you think about it, noise surrounds us. We wake up in the morning to traffic sounds, maybe a leaf blower or a loan mower coming from the neighbor's house.

Speaker 16 We hear the drip of the coffee maker, a dog barking, the sounds of children.

Speaker 16 Later, meeting a friend for brunch in a local food spot, we're surrounded by the clink of silverware, the clash of plates and bowls being set down or whisked away, the murmur and squall of other people talking.

Speaker 16 Music plays overhead constantly.

Speaker 16 It sometimes seems that wherever we go, a clothing store, a gas station, a coffee shop, a restaurant, a gym, a song is playing, as if the riskiest thing in the world is for any of us to be alone with our own thoughts.

Speaker 16 But when I talk about noise, I'm not just talking about what comes in through our ears.

Speaker 16 I'm also talking about what is consumed by our eyes and our attention and how the culture we inhabit seems intent on fragmenting the information we absorb, dividing it by two, then four, then ten, then a hundred.

Speaker 16 It's the opposite of depth, the opposite of learning and remembering. Instead, this kind of noise focuses on the surfaces of things.

Speaker 16 We scan headlines, we glance at our favorite websites, we scroll through photos and advertisements, we text instead instead of a call and call instead of a meeting.

Speaker 16 What is noise if not a soundtrack to our lives that interferes with what we should really be doing? Which is to say being attentive to ourselves and those around us.

Speaker 16 One thing I want to leave behind in 2024 is the role I've allowed noise to play in my life. Noise refers to everything that is distracting, alluring and diverting.

Speaker 16 the blinking silver bells of technology and the pressure it puts on me not to walk but to skip to skim, and to speed read, a process deliberately designed to leave me and all of us wanting more and always playing catch up.

Speaker 16 Eliminating noise is one of the things I plan on leaving behind in 2024.

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Speaker 8 Start improving agent performance at pendo.io/slash podcast.

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Speaker 16 Number six, before I say this, I want to just put in a disclaimer because I think people may see it as me being defeatist, but it's not that, it's me being a realist.

Speaker 16 I would call it the concept, not the idea or the fight for it, but the concept of how I see justice. So I still want to fight for justice, but the concept of it is different.

Speaker 16 Many of us want to believe that the world makes sense, that justice is a silent and animating presence in our lives.

Speaker 16 The idea that there may not be justice in the world makes most of us incredibly anxious. And when I say justice, I'm not talking about the judiciary or the local police and fire services.

Speaker 16 I mean the idea, no doubt borrowed from movies and TV shows, that people who work hard are certain to get ahead. That if you keep plugging away at something, you're guaranteed to see success.

Speaker 16 That if you do everything in your power to salvage a relationship, that relationship will probably succeed. The thing is, as we know, life doesn't always work out this way.

Speaker 16 Causes and effects are far more random than we're comfortable admitting.

Speaker 16 Sometimes we have to face the fact that people we don't respect, for mysterious and inexplicable reasons, manage to triumph, while other good people worthy of respect fall short.

Speaker 16 That justice sometimes operates as we believe it should, but just as often doesn't.

Speaker 16 When we illusion the world, the likelier we are to find it disillusioning when the equations we hold in our head don't work out as we'd expected them to.

Speaker 16 What I'm leaving behind in 2024 is the idea of justice as an organizing principle of the universe. Sometimes things work out the way we expect and want them to, other times they don't.

Speaker 16 And the reasons why are mysterious, and perhaps that is a kind of justice. Actually, the universe does have justice, just not in the way we think about the math.
So what does that mean?

Speaker 16 I would encourage us to walk away from waiting for justice and focusing on patterns. How can we study and create and build passions that will make that difference in our lives?

Speaker 16 That's what I'd consider. That's what I'd think about.
Getting serious about light and dark is number five. Getting a good night's sleep matters.

Speaker 16 It's essential, in fact, to our physical and mental health, health. Helps us maintain a healthy immune system, keeps our stress levels in check, and improves our thinking and processing.

Speaker 16 If we don't get enough of it, it can lead to fatigue, anger, poor focus, lowered productivity. Like there's so many things connected to the quality of our sleep.

Speaker 16 It even contributes to health conditions like diabetes, obesity, and cardiovascular disease. But growing research and evidence shows that sleep is even more crucial than any of us imagined.

Speaker 16 Today, science supports the idea that sleep is the absolute foundation of our mental and physical health, that it is or should be the primary determinant of the success of every one of our human endeavors.

Speaker 16 This means it's important to differentiate, really differentiate, between lightness and darkness. First, let's talk about light.
It has two separate components.

Speaker 16 People who try to get light in their eyes first thing in the morning, whether they're sitting outside or next to a strong SADS lamp, example, one with at least 10,000 lux, meaning not a bedside lamp or the light that comes from screens, have dramatically better fitter mental health than those who don't make getting morning light a priority.

Speaker 16 20 minutes is all anyone needs, with sunlight being the best source.

Speaker 16 Studies show that getting light first thing in the morning also has a positive effect on people who suffer from anxiety and depression.

Speaker 16 Access strong light early in the day, and you'll feel stronger and more invigorated, thereby setting the stage for a better night's sleep. A good night's sleep starts in the morning.

Speaker 16 Cut to nighttime, where the presence of light plays havoc with a good night's sleep.

Speaker 16 Studies show that if we keep our bedroom environment as dark as possible, we will see the benefits in our own mental health.

Speaker 16 At night, dim all the lights, avoid screens for at least an hour before bedtime, and that includes reading on your Kindle.

Speaker 16 Invest in a sleep mask, a big element of insomnia has to do with our nighttime exposure to light. Light, dark, simple as that.
A simple change I plan to adapt in 2025. Number four is self-criticism.

Speaker 16 We all have a judge and a jury in our own heads. You should have done this.
You should have done that. You messed up.
You're late.

Speaker 16 Sometimes that voice in our head is useful and potentially productive. It keeps us working hard, disciplined, and helps keep the trains running on time.
But it can blur into something else too.

Speaker 16 a monologue of self-denigration, the accusation that you never measured up to your own standards. Like most people, I can fall into this myself.

Speaker 16 Sometimes and in 2024, my goal is to leave this kind of inside talk behind. I can't help but think back to something someone said to me once.

Speaker 16 Imagine yourself talking to a friend or someone you just met at a party the same way you address yourself inside your own head.

Speaker 16 Chances are your friend would burst into tears and walk away and the person at the party would excuse himself or herself to go refresh their drink in the hopes they never have to talk to you again.

Speaker 16 This was sound advice. In 2025, I'll retain the right quality of self-criticism.
The kind that makes me better, kinder, more positive, and more productive.

Speaker 16 But as for the other darker stuff, I'll remember to ask myself: are you treating yourself the same way you do a close friend? And that doesn't mean that you don't need tough love sometimes.

Speaker 16 It doesn't mean you don't need a push or a nudge. What it means is we don't have to denigrate ourselves in a way that we wouldn't talk to anyone we love.

Speaker 16 Number three is waiting for the perfect time.

Speaker 16 It's so easy to put our goals aside, to wait for the perfect time almost as though we're expecting a lightning bolt and a rack of thunder to rumble overhead, a signal that it's time to go ahead with our plans to travel and to pursue our passions and start that thing we've been putting off for longer than we remember.

Speaker 16 I'll do it as soon as, we tell ourselves, as soon as the weather changes, as soon as the car gets fixed, as soon as I feel more settled. We all do this and sometimes I find myself doing it as well.

Speaker 16 Waiting for the perfect moment, the perfect time, the perfect sequence of months. Well, everyone who's listening right now, there's no such thing as the perfect time.

Speaker 16 There's no such thing as the perfect moment. There's no such thing as the perfect anything.
Perfect is a concept taken from eternity.

Speaker 16 Perfect is a concept that we've subscribed to for far too long, and it's blocking us from starting. Don't let perfect stop you from starting.
Don't let perfect stop you from creating.

Speaker 16 Don't let perfect stop you from trying.

Speaker 16 Don't let perfect stop you from practice. Don't let perfect stop you from progress.
Don't let perfect stop you. from understanding your potential.

Speaker 16 If you wait for the perfect time to do something, I can guarantee you'll be waiting for the rest of your life.

Speaker 16 In 2025, I am pledging that I will no longer put important things, things I want to do off. Life is long, but it's also over before you know it.
Start what you want to do now.

Speaker 16 Number two, as we get down to the final two, number two.

Speaker 16 When we hear the words mediocre or mediocrity, our minds go back to school or college. We associate mediocre with so-so grades, B minuses and C pluses, and with sloppiness or an absence of effort.

Speaker 16 Who would ever want to be mediocre? We wouldn't ever want to be a mediocre partner, mediocre friends, a mediocre job, a mediocre car, or even a mediocre dog or cat. Fair enough.

Speaker 16 But I'm not using the word mediocre in the conventional sense. I'm using it in the sense of finding balance in our over-stressed, over-busy, often imbalanced lives.

Speaker 16 I know I'm not alone in occasionally going to extremes, traveling too much, working too much, exercising too much, it's almost as though if I don't, a voice will show up in my head, chastising me for my lack of discipline, for not putting enough effort, for letting another person down.

Speaker 16 I wonder sometimes who's that person, that voice I'm at risk of letting down? Is it me or is it a phantom parent or teacher from my past? Is it real or is it a silhouette, an archetype?

Speaker 16 What would happen if I listened to my own voice in an effort to figure out what feels right to me? Or is the other voice my voice too?

Speaker 16 What if I fought back every time that voice, that internal twist in my own personality pushed me to tip over extremes? Which brings me back to mediocrity.

Speaker 16 The word comes from the Latin medius, meaning middle. Ochris refers to a steep or rugged mountain.
Mediocre simply means in the middle of the mountain, not at the summit.

Speaker 16 not at the base camp, halfway there. Yes, there are some areas in my life where I will continually strive to reach the top.

Speaker 16 And once I do that, to ascend the pinnacle of the next mountain and the next one after that.

Speaker 16 But there is value in remembering that once you separate the word mediocre from how most of us define it, it simply means that you have found balance.

Speaker 16 And balance in our lives, our relationships, our work, and our well-being is what we all seek to attain, isn't it?

Speaker 16 And finally, number one, stop fighting fate. There's a wonderful paper written by a philosopher in the 19th century.

Speaker 16 He wrote words to the effect that as we get closer to the end of our lives and look back on the decades that have gone by and the people, places, and experiences that played a part in them, it's as though a cohesive narrative stretches out before us, an inevitable shape, even though some things felt accidental and random at the time.

Speaker 16 This thing led to that thing and that thing led to this meeting and this person and that person and before I knew it, what this philosopher was trying to communicate was that while we are all the heroes and protagonists of our own lives, it can be hard to shake the feeling that a co-creator also played a part because the form and the format make such intuitive, remarkable sense when we look back on it.

Speaker 16 You can call this co-creator God or a guardian angel or angel numbers or the universe, but the point is. There seemed to be a direction that our lives were supposed to take.

Speaker 16 And our goal is to go with that direction, not against it. That doesn't mean we're passive or that we lack agency or should ever play the victim.

Speaker 16 It's simply a reminder to trust our intuition, to remember that what happens in our life, good or bad, is happening not to us, but for us.

Speaker 16 For reasons we may not at the time understand, but we will later, when we look back on our lives and see how much their shape resembles a book with a well-composed storyline, vivid characters, unexpected turns, and one can only hope, a satisfying ending.

Speaker 16 This is a good lesson for all of us in 2025. To take things day by day, do battle when it's called for, but remember that by and large, most things turn out all right in the end.

Speaker 16 Don't fight fate, and if you do, remember that battle may play a part in that same fate.

Speaker 16 Thank you so much for listening. I want to thank each and every one of you for dedicating hours and hours and hours of your time in 2024 to listening to the podcast.

Speaker 16 Take on purpose with you as your friend, as your companion, as your support into 2025. I promise you, we are just getting started.
I am so excited for the future of this podcast.

Speaker 16 We're working on something all the time for you to make it more special, more deep, more profound. I can't wait to see you in 2025.

Speaker 16 And I hope a lot of you will join me on my podcast live tour. I can't wait for that.
And

Speaker 16 remember, I'm forever in your corner corner and I'm always rooting for you. Thank you.

Speaker 16 If you love this episode, you will also love my interview with Charles Doohig on how to hack your brain, change any habit effortlessly, and the secret to making better decisions.

Speaker 19 Look, am I hesitating on this because I'm scared of making the choice because I'm scared of doing the work? Or am I sitting with this because it just doesn't feel right yet?

Speaker 4 Are your AI agents helping users or just creating more work?

Speaker 2 If you can't compare your users' workflows before and after adding AI, how do you know it's even paying off?

Speaker 3 Pendo Agent Analytics is the first tool to connect agent prompts and conversations to downstream outcomes like time saved, so you know what's working and what to fix.

Speaker 8 Start improving agent performance at pendo.io slash podcast.

Speaker 11 That's pendo.io slash podcast.

Speaker 12 Hey, audiobook lovers, I'm Cal Penn.

Speaker 13 I'm Ed Helms.

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