Travis Pastrana, Preseason Football Thoughts, Tommy Fleetwood Chokes Again, Who's Back Of The Week + Mt Rushmore Of Things We Can't Wait To Do When We're Old

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On today's part of my take, we have Tanner McKee and Jake Elliott.

Philadelphia Eagles podcast.

Can't wait.

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Everyone complaining about us doing interviews with the Super Bowl champs.

We have an awesome interview with Travis Pestrana,

top four Mount Rushmore of coolest guys we've ever interviewed.

Toughest man to

part of my take.

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We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of things we're looking forward to doing when we're old, which should be very fun.

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Okay, let's go.

Part of my take.

Yeah.

Martin My Take.

Yeah.

Martin My Take.

Yeah.

Bard and Mike.

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Today is Monday, August 11th, and we are back in studio and we got ball to talk about, boys.

All kinds of ball.

A lot of ball.

I was thinking about a segment that we could do for around the league.

Okay.

Going deep.

Something really creative like that.

I like that.

Under center with part of my take.

Hut-hut, hike.

I like that.

Hut, hut, hike.

Yeah.

You know, those sound effects they use.

Did CeeDee Lamb deserve to get run over?

First question, big cat.

First and 10.

CeeDee Lamb did deserve to get run over.

Got to have your head on on a swivel.

Did Dak Prescott, was Dak Prescott out of pocket, as a kid say, when he told Stan Cronky

he'll see you in the NFC Championship game?

A little bit out of pocket.

I would say that was a pretty crazy thing to say.

Yeah, when Dak gets out, though, he's not that mobile anymore, so not that much of a threat.

Third down.

Third down.

Do the Jets have a chance at the postseason?

Oh, I'm happy you bring this up.

The Jets.

Let's talk about the Jets real quick.

This is good.

We're whipping around the league.

First and 10, pardon my take.

Our good friend Memes, he tweeted out this weekend, he's the guy.

Talking about Justin Fields.

Now, Memes,

I didn't watch the game.

I saw some of the highlights.

I have one question for you.

Yes.

For the, he's the guy.

He led a touchdown drive, correct?

Yeah, the expectations were really low.

Hold on, hold on.

Let me get my question.

So

explain to me the touchdown throw that he had.

He ran it in.

Oh!

Okay.

So, yeah.

It was a nice run, though.

It was a great run.

He's so fast.

Right.

That's Justin Fields.

He's a really good runner.

He had a couple throws that were good, too.

Okay.

It's preseason.

You just get up.

You're going to hurt yourself.

Probably, but I'll defend Justin Fields until the Jets are mathematically eliminated.

Okay.

Okay.

I think that you're

right to be excited about Justin Fields, especially in the preseason.

Like, that was a great run.

Timeout.

Timeout.

We're going going to need a timeout here.

We've got to think about our fourth down before our fourth down play comes in.

We've got to think about this.

We're going to go for it.

What you just said is not true.

What do you mean?

You just said, I'm going to defend Justin Fields until the Jets are mathematically eliminated.

That is,

there are many circumstances where I could see that not being true.

No.

No.

Yes.

What if he gets benched?

Yes.

If he sucks, you're going to kill him.

Yeah, but he's not going to suck.

He's going to be good enough to win you some games.

Listen, Justin Fields'

whole thing

is fun to watch.

It's fun to watch.

It is very fun to watch.

And the offensive line was really good yesterday.

He had tons of time.

He looked good.

Okay.

Okay.

You ready for fourth down?

I had one follow-up to third down.

Okay.

I'm going to throw a challenge flag on third down.

Okay.

Memes.

Aaron Glenn.

Still the guy?

Because you also said that he's the guy, and then you said that Justin Fields was the guy.

So which one is the guy on your team?

Aaron Glenn's definitely the guy.

Okay.

So Justin Fields is a guy.

He's a guy for now.

No,

you could have a coach who's the guy.

You could have two guys?

Well, yeah, you could have a two guys.

How does that work?

You can have a coach, yeah.

I mean,

that works a lot of times.

You definitely can.

It's a different position.

No, I think your coach is the man.

Hank, would you say that Tom Brady and Bill Belichick were both the guy when they were in New England?

Yes.

Yeah, I mean, I think it's position-dependent.

You can't have two the guys in one position playing the same position.

They don't play the same position.

I know, they don't.

Who do you feel more confident in?

Aaron Glenn or Justin Fields?

Aaron Glenn.

Aaron Glenn was motherfucking people yesterday after

offsides penalty push out of bounds.

Love that.

There was no accountability.

There was no accountability before.

I re-listed to the John Harbaugh one, and he came in.

He was motherfucking people.

Same thing.

You just got got to change your culture.

What if Aaron Glenn says that Justin Fields isn't the guy?

Whatever he says goes.

Okay.

Okay.

Memes, I have another question on third down because this is we're kind of in a similar situation.

Coach that we think is like culture changer.

Do you think, because I'm going through these thoughts with the Bears, the Bears last week had the most violent practice that has happened at Hallis Hall since Lovey Smith.

They had a scrimmage against the Dolphins where the Dolphins were like getting beat up.

A little like edge to them, teeth to their defense.

But do you think because the culture was so bad, they're just playing regular football and it's so different than what it was that everyone's like, holy shit.

That's my only concern.

I don't know if you go through those same concerns with Jets, where it's like Aaron Glenn is yelling at someone for being off sides.

That's just what a coach should do, but because...

You and I have not had coaches who have done that, we're like, oh my God, this guy's incredible.

He's changing the whole culture.

But he's actually just coaching.

He's He's just doing his job.

Yeah, it is just new

to the Jets.

Okay.

Yeah, no, I'm saying this.

I'm speaking from the same spot where I'm just like, part of me is like, I'm so excited, but I have to temper my excitement because I'm like, maybe he's just doing what every coach, competent coach, should have been doing.

Like, you go from Matt Iberflus to

Ben Johnson, that's a big difference.

You go, you know, Robert Salah, Jeff Ulbricht to Aaron Glenn, that's a big difference.

Yeah, the Jets just needed some accountability, but it's also preseason game one.

Yeah.

But you can get excited about it.

Get excited.

That touchdown run was awesome.

It was against the Packers starters.

Yep.

Jordan Love didn't complete a pass.

There you go.

Love that.

Packers also didn't look like they practiced.

Love that.

Not the Jets.

Love that.

Not the Jets.

Jermaine Johnson just got activated off the pup.

Mm-hmm.

Yep.

Vibes are immaculate.

All right.

Take a cold hard six-pack of one question memes.

Okay.

Will the Jets make the playoffs?

Right now.

Right now, if the season ended dead.

That's a yes.

That was the yes.

If the season ended

on Sunday, August 10th, the New York Jets would be a playoff team.

Right now, yes.

That was the yes.

Yeah.

Okay, I like that.

Okay.

You want to keep it in the division or you want to whip it around the league?

What?

For the cold horse?

Yeah, no, for fourth down.

Oh, no, fourth down.

I was going to add, I had a fourth down in mind.

Shador Sanders, the greatest quarterback of all time.

I think he's very good.

I think Shador looked really good.

He got a Nike ad.

Yeah.

He got a Nike ad.

Only a matter of time.

It was the first preseason game.

There's just no way that this will backfire at all, right?

No way.

Well, I mean, the Browns are set up to the point where they have one of those guys has to play good, right?

Yeah, but no, no, definitely not.

You don't think one of them?

One of them is going to look better than the others.

Yes, but that doesn't mean they...

One of them could look better than the others in camp and they could not play well in the previous game.

That's what I mean.

In the preseason, one of those guys is going to end up looking great and be like, yeah, okay, we've got a bona fide starter.

Right now, I think it's whoever starts those games.

I think that, like, if they kick it over to Flacco for a start, he'll carve up a defense in preseason.

Yeah.

If they have Dylan Gabriel, if he's healthy to start, he'll have a great game.

I want Shador Sanders to be good because I think it would be great for the take ecosystem.

He's a polarizing guy.

We need to fill some of these spots that we have open.

I just thought that the Nike had only a matter of time for the first preseason game was maybe a little premature.

But this is kind of like when the Browns have a polarizing quarterback like that, it makes it more fun.

Oh, definitely.

Like Johnny Manzel in the preseason, all that stuff.

This is good.

And I think that Chador, there were some things that he did in that game where I was like, yeah, I think he could be a good quarterback.

For sure.

Like, go to

third option.

It is preseason.

But yeah, being excited about a Browns game.

That's exciting.

Yeah.

Very exciting.

All right, that was our first and first and 10 with PMT.

There was a pass interference on fourth down, so we get a new set of downs.

Oh, okay.

Zach, did you have first down?

Uh, first down, uh, the Bucs play the Titans, no, you have first down, first down

the first down, yeah.

Uh,

what's going on, Hank?

How are we?

How are we feeling today?

I was just uh, we might have ourselves a little bit of a Wally Pip situation.

Hope your day's going well.

You really delivered that?

I'm home for a funeral, Zach.

Yeah, that's my condolences, Hank.

Oh,

we made him.

We're like, he's like, I'm not saying that.

And we're like, you actually have to say that.

And then you delivered it with zero confidence.

I just knew the circumstances.

No, but you look good, Zach.

Don't understand.

Put on that couch.

Wally pimp.

Yeah.

He does look good.

I won't move anything around, Hank.

I promise I'm not touching your stuff.

Yeah.

It's all right.

You're good.

Thank you for having me.

Zach will be decorating your room while you're going, Hank, guys.

All right, do set it down.

So what were you going to say about the Bucks?

Oh, I think the Bucks look good.

Kyle Dress looked good.

I know he's a backup quarterback.

Mbuga got a catch.

Ketch looked good.

Fat guy's still not playing.

We just got to get the weight off him.

A couple more weeks.

Sonasude something.

I would love to see him play, though, soon.

Please soon.

He might just be in good shape for a playoff push.

I just love the idea of him next to Vita Vea.

Just so much mass right there.

It's also very funny because when he does get to the playing weight that the Bucs feel is good enough for him to play, he's still going to be very fat.

Big boy, yeah.

Yeah, like not like just throw him out there, dude.

Like, what does it matter?

This might be how you guys stop the tush tush push.

We do have historically, we are pretty good against a tush push.

Adding him is just a whole nother, yeah, whole nother defensive

defense, a whole lot of defense on him.

Yeah, a whole lot of tush.

You guys have more tush than the Eagles.

More tush than they have push, you think?

Yeah, I think so.

Well, speaking of the tush push,

Landon Dickerson carted off.

So, yeah, he was carted off.

Max.

He was kind of carted off.

Kind of.

It is important to make a distinction that when you cart somebody off, there's the back to the cart and then there's a pass shotgun.

Landon Dickerson was riding shotgun as he was carted off.

He also was helped off of the field and then brought to the cart and then sat shot.

So the cart didn't come all the way up.

The cart was not on the field.

Okay.

The cart was not on the field.

He got driven to the locker room riding shotgun.

Correct.

Oh, so he's just going for a ride.

It's probably fine.

But

I mean, there's a lot of.

Could he have driven the cart?

Probably.

He's a man.

Yeah.

Did you watch the video of it?

Yes.

So there's a lot of good news, bad news going on.

on.

Okay, injury breakdown.

Do you want to do bad news first or good news?

We already did the good news: was that he was sitting passenger seat?

That he was sitting in the passenger seat, and that he was

sucks when you almost passed over the ball.

He almost was able to walk off of the field.

He had

Big Dom, he had his arms around Big Dom.

Big Dom was helping him off.

But he was putting a little bit of weight on it, you know.

But the video shows that it didn't look like a ton of

contact, which is always the bad news.

But

I'm not going to.

I saw what happened to Memes last or a couple weeks ago.

He got really upset off of something that there's not real good footage of.

You don't really know what happened.

I'm going to wait to really react until I know what the injury is.

What did Memes get really upset about?

He thought Justin Fields was dead.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Always assume for the worst.

Yeah, he stubbed his toe.

I like this.

This is maturity.

There's no reason to freak out yet.

There's no reason to freak out yet.

It could be anything.

If you were to freak out, what would it look like?

I can't tell you because

that would just be a fake freak out because there's no reason to freak out yet.

Okay, but what's the darkest thought that's gone through your head?

That

he would be hurt.

He's a big part of our offensive line.

Our offensive line is a big part of our offense.

It's a big part of our team.

It would just have to be a next man up mentality, but he's a big man to lose you guys gotta go next man yeah the next man up is not as good as him more teams should do next man up

they should and the eagles normally do but it's you know we already lost becton so then that that's kind of the next man up and if you lose both of our

you lost becton but he's on the chargers and then the chargers lost becton so now the chargers have to go next man up

yeah that's next man up everywhere everywhere is in a next man up kind of situation preseason injuries shouldn't count

preseason We should just turn on.

What if we just don't do it?

Well,

he got injured not in a preseason game.

Yeah, just don't do it.

Don't do practice.

Just start.

Don't do training camp.

Yeah.

I feel like that might be more injuries.

Yeah, you don't know that.

Yeah,

I think that if you're just like, hey, guys, come back and it's week one.

Yeah, like tell everyone, get everyone to work out on their own, on their own accord.

Safely.

Safely.

And then once everyone feels like they're in shape, we just start playing We start playing.

The amount of people that are fighting about whether football is back or football is not back, we just wouldn't have that problem anymore.

Football would just be a little bit more.

But would you have to wait for everyone to get in shape?

Because then we might not have football because the Bucs fat guy.

Well, Bucs, fat guy, can't play.

You're not in shape, you can't play.

During the games, they have to walk around the field with the fat suit on.

There's definitely the thought crossed Mike McDaniel's mind to do that exact thing.

Yeah.

He's like, let's just not do training.

Let's just show up and be fast week one.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That was.

Tyreek Hill, you promised that you're going to behave yourself this summer.

They all, they all have to.

Come at your fastest.

That would, you know, that would weed out a lot of bad, bad mentality players.

Do you really love football?

Exactly.

Do you care enough about your teammates to stay in shape and stay out of trouble this summer?

How would you pick a team?

How would you make cuts?

Vibes.

You know, last year, just go off of last year.

Last year, like, just send us your most hype

Instagram workout.

Tavony.

So you're just going no new friends.

No.

Yeah.

No new friends.

These guys that you draft that you believe are going to be good.

A sick edit of like a fifth string wide receiver doing some cone drills out on a field with like his high school quarterback.

Yeah.

And you're like, okay, I think we got our number two.

He's in.

He's in.

Preseason injuries are bullshit.

I know.

They are.

They are absolute bullshit.

But I'm not overreacting

to

cell phone videos.

Okay, fourth down.

We're going to kick a field goal.

Okay.

Cam Little kicked a 70-yard field.

70-yarder.

Will we see a 70-yarder in the NFL this season?

We had two.

We had Cam Little, 70-yarder, and then Ray Davis, the running back for the Bills, kick a 25-yarder.

Pretty cool.

That was pretty cool.

I love it when positioned players do that.

Yeah.

But the Cam Little one was nuts.

And it was good from like 75.

It was pure.

And that was some thick.

Zach is our expert on this.

That's some thick air.

Jacksonville area?

Very viscous there.

Yeah.

Very

hot.

Got the humid, heavy

air.

A bit of meth smoke in the air weighing the ball down.

Certainly that.

Not easy to kick in those conditions.

It's the opposite of mile high.

But it still went 70.

70 it did yeah and his teammates were so pumped for him yeah that was the most excited i saw any players in the preseason it's like our kicker just drilled a 70 yarder very cool uh yeah he nailed it i mean he should i don't know how uh how the jaguars are going to do on on fourth downs this year like most coaches in the nfl even if they know their kicker can hit a 70 yarder they get to like the 50 yard line they just think all the most negative thoughts yeah well what if he misses what if it gets blocked it gets returned but i mean if you if you're drilling a 70 yarder you should make a 60-yarder.

Like, it's almost a chip shot.

What if we money balled this?

What if you have a guy who can hit consistently 70-yarder?

So, what, what, what, what

yard line is that from?

You would kick that from, you'd get the ball to the 47-yard line.

47-yard line.

All right, so let's say.

Your own 47.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's just say for this thought experiment, let's say he can kick a 77-yarder consistently just every time he hits it.

So, you get the ball to your own 47.

Do you think a team would be like, we don't need an offense?

We will will just draft all defense every year.

We can run in a different defense like

series to series.

All we got to do is get the ball to the 40 and we'll just kick.

Pretty much just hope the way that

the return game's going, like just return the ball to the 35 or the 40 and then just kneel it out.

Jumbo set.

Just jumbo set, run the ball, try to get 10 yards.

Right up the middle, and then we'll kick.

If you get three points per drive, I think you win most football.

I think we just broke football.

And also, if you have a defense that is so good, you have two starting defenses that you can just rotate in.

Then you get field position.

So when you get it, if you were to get like an interception in your opponent's territory, do you then kick a field goal in first down?

Yeah.

I think so, too.

Yeah.

All right, we just broke football.

Hank, what'd you think about the Brady statue?

Was it up to your liking?

Yeah, I mean, I wish it was like, I don't know, 30 feet bigger, but

did he light the lighthouse?

What'd you say?

Did he light the lighthouse?

No, they had the McCordy twins do it.

But they just rang the bell.

They didn't like the lighthouse.

Well, yeah, that's the tradition.

Yeah.

Yeah.

As we know.

But in terms of the statue,

I thought it was one of the better statues.

I think it's a good statue.

I think it's fierce.

I think I like, you know, his hands up.

His face looks good.

It's

in a good spot at the stadium where people walk in, so it'll be good photo up.

My only complaint, which I don't think is even realistic, is like, I just wish it was 40 feet tall.

Yeah.

It was very lifelike.

They nailed the mobility.

Yeah.

Hank, while we have you, let's do halftime, halftime entertainment, Jordan of the week.

Have you seen the recent Jordans?

She has compared herself to Taylor Swift's publicist, Tree Payne, who is like well-known as probably the best publicist ever.

That's my goat.

Yeah, she's my goat as well.

She's the one who told the Swifties, come after me.

She basically was like, no one, everyone was loving Belichick's new media makeover, and they didn't realize I was the one who was doing it until they found out who I was.

Thoughts.

I did not see that.

We love Jordan's podcast.

We do.

We love her.

We love her.

I would have to agree.

I would have no choice but to agree.

I have a question.

Was that picture of Bill Belichick photoshopped in any way?

I mean, there's no way you're coming at a guy for having man tits, right?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I didn't.

I asked the question.

Why did you jump to that?

You don't even know what picture I'm talking about.

I do know what picture you're talking about.

Okay.

Explain the picture.

Picture.

And yes, man-breasts happen, okay?

Some of the Tony Soprano.

You can say what you say all the time.

Oh, bad angle, blah, blah, blah.

I'm just asking a question.

Was that photoshopped?

I'm actually on your side here, Hank.

I saw it and was like, there's no way that's real.

Is there no way that's real?

I think it was the shirt.

It was kind of a Heather gray, so it really outlined the shadows.

Okay.

It did look like he's wearing a bra because they had me barking.

He's a barrel-chested beast.

Barrel-chested, that's a strong man.

That's something that we used to look up to in society.

We've gone away from that.

Yeah.

Did you guys see the picture, Max?

Everyone saw the picture?

Barking.

You seeing it?

Oh, Zach, give us your instant reaction.

Zach's seeing you for the first time right now, Bill Belichick.

He's got some heavies.

He's got some heavies.

And again, I'm not judging Hank because I do also have heavies.

So it would be crazy for me to judge someone else's heavies.

I just asked if it was real or not.

If I'm making a guess, I'm leaning towards T-Cups here.

We just got to get them some spanks.

I'd grab grab them.

That always works.

Yeah.

Some spanks would be good.

This is probably,

I bought some new spanks, by the way.

Put me on.

I'll let you know when they come.

The advertising got me so perfectly.

It was so hideous, the dude that they use as their model.

I was like, they must work.

He looked like a Lego piece.

He was just a box.

He was just a box of a man.

Those are, yeah, you're right, Hank.

That's the angle.

Or PFT.

That's the angle.

It's the shade of gray in the t-shirt.

It could also be Jordan being Jordan.

This is how she earns her money doing PR.

It's like, oh, everyone's talking about the negatives with Bill Belichick right now.

He's got this young beauty queen girlfriend who's really, really attractive and very smart.

And we don't want to be drawing the attention away from Bill.

Bill, let's send you out there with a couple of softballs, 16-inch softballs inside of Sports Brawl.

Then people will start the conversation of like, is Bill Belichick hot?

Yeah.

Like, would you fuck Bill Belichick?

I would.

Those heavies.

Yeah.

Max?

I think he just became twice as fuckable.

Max, as a guy who doesn't like titty fucking?

I mean, those are beasts.

Those who get the job done.

Gotcha bro.

I

also have manned titties, though, so it's fine.

Right.

So

we can speak from a place of

love.

It's also the way his arms are.

Like,

he's

what I've been noticing is that my move has been

arm on the table.

Like if you can get a chair or arm on the table and you kind of like like put your arm almost in front of you.

You're talking about the sorority skinny arm.

No, no, no, no, because that's on the side of the hip.

I'm talking about literally like, because when you have your arm in front of you like that, it almost flattens your chest a little.

It's the same arm.

Belichick should do one of those sorority dance videos with the UNC football team.

No, because the sorority girl arm is on your hip and it pops the tits.

I'm talking about forward, so it almost like caves in the tits.

I'm talking about mostly just the arm.

Yeah.

The skinny arm.

Yeah, but the skinny arm also acts as a pop for the tits.

Yeah.

But I'm trying to go the other way.

They know what they're doing.

Yeah.

Okay, that was halftime entertainment.

I want to talk some.

I got more Patriots for Hank.

Okay.

Mike Vrabel,

the dude.

I think the Patriots are back.

Oh, he was in the.

That happened when we were.

He got

in a brawl at training camp, dove into the pile, and cut his face up pretty good.

And then first play from scrimmage, Travion Henderson.

I think he's a great running back, Hank.

I think he got a good one.

I think we're going to be the best team on this podcast.

I don't know if I've said that yet.

No, that's a heavy thing to say.

Heavier than Bill Belichick's chest.

Yeah.

That's okay.

So that's the two teams that were in the NFC championship last year.

I'll give you the Bears and Jets.

That's not really a bold statement.

The Bucs are pretty fucking good.

So you're saying you're going to be better than the Bucs, the the eagles and the commanders wow king hank and the patriots yeah i know that's again that's not that's not going crazy because i was watching this game hank you know what i thought what super bowl preview

that's not bad

people forget that that hank owes me thirty thousand dollars if the patriots don't make the super bowl this year or next

but i like our chances now yeah you want to double it no

i'm going to oh OBFT my life in a couple years.

We're just going to have to long drive forever.

You know what's crazy, though, is you guys can't beat the NFC East in the Super Bowl.

We beat the Eagles.

That was a long time ago.

Okay, but we did.

Long time ago.

Mike Vreble has beaten the NFC East in the Super Bowl.

Okay, that's a fair point.

But that was a long time ago.

Point for point.

That was a long time ago.

Point for point.

Do we have any other football that we want to talk about?

I have a couple takes that I wanted to throw out there that you just be like, hey,

I'm not trying to ruffle any feathers, but I got a take.

Okay.

And one's football, one's baseball.

Two baseball, actually.

You ready for him?

All right.

So this is just all due respect.

I'm doing an all-due respect segment.

All due respect.

Virginia McCasky passed away, all due respect.

The patch is too big.

Did you guys see the patch?

I did not see that.

No.

Pull up the patch.

Now I know what they're doing.

They're doing the same patch that they did for her father george house when he died so it's the same size yeah the problem is

those uniforms back then 30 years ago the pads were bigger the uniforms were bigger the patch didn't take up as much real estate this patch is too big and i i it's a fine patch it's too big it's got to be like 50

as big it's pretty look how big that is yeah the m is huge don't you guys agree all due respect all due respect too big of a patch why not a helmet sticker Because they want to do the same thing as the George House one.

Which I get, but all due respect, let's just

do the thing where someone's like, every like, every retweet I get, I make this 10% bigger.

Let's just every game make it 10% smaller and no one will notice.

Yeah, it's giant.

It draws the eyes.

It's too big.

It's way too big.

Because the uniforms are just a lot tighter than they were 40 years ago.

So, yeah.

Yeah, we got to do something about this patch.

The patch is...

All due respect.

It's the M, too.

All due respect, guys.

The patch is so

big and so kind of like in your face that I wish she was still alive.

All due respect.

Because then we wouldn't have the patch, right?

Yeah.

That's good math.

All right, here's my other all due respect.

All due respect.

Shout out to Woman Ump.

Yep.

All due respect.

All due respect.

What was her name?

Powell?

She's an ump.

She did okay, right?

The first strike was funny.

First strike was very funny.

You got it.

But she also, this is one of those things that Jen Powell, this is one of those things that, like, all the umps suck.

She kind of was like, hey, I'm just part of the club.

She's better than Angel Hernandez.

Yeah.

At least, right?

But it was very funny.

She wanted the first pitch to be a strike so bad that no matter where it was going to be, she was calling a strike.

So it's kind of shocking that it took this long,

right?

Yeah.

Because there have been

NFL refs, NBA refs.

Yeah.

I don't know if hockey.

But it's kind of also mean to

celebrate this.

I understand why, because it's obviously something that's never happened before.

But also, we're celebrating somebody that's being put in a position to get all the hate in the world.

Yeah, we're going to hate your guts, Jen.

No matter what gender you are, we're going to hate you.

And if you're a female umpire, you're going to deal with the same shit that the Hernandez

and the Wests of the world got.

Right.

That's why I loved her first strike call.

Yeah.

Because it was bad.

And it was like, all right, she's perfect.

Yep.

Pass the test.

That hat is in the Hall of Fame now.

Is it?

It is, yeah.

Oh, damn.

And then the other all due respect was the kid ump.

I'm just,

if people have not seen it,

the Cubs Cardinals series this weekend, there's been a kid ump in, I don't know, the second or third row, and he wants to be, he's a kid.

I'm not going to go against the kid.

I'm going to go against his parents because the kid wants to be an ump.

He's 13 years old.

He's been doing balls and strikes, home run calls, everything

during the game.

I don't like these parents.

So the kid's obviously very passionate about umpiring, which is an interesting thing to be into.

Whatever.

I'm not going to judge your interests as a kid.

I blame mostly just the TV producers for putting him on too much.

This should be a once-a-game look-in.

It should also have been one game.

Yeah, yeah.

Friday night, he was there, and I was like, okay, all right, one time.

Yeah.

And then it just kept on happening.

I was like, kid ump's still there.

This is too much.

Right.

Like, if they just cut to him after a home run and he made the home run motion and then they never cut back to him again, everybody would be like, this kid ump is awesome.

That was so funny.

It also made me think, so I guess there is some positive to come from kid ump.

Why doesn't the Little League World Series have kid umps?

Because that would be so funny.

Because they get the best of the best.

They do get the best of the best.

I know that for a fact.

But how funny would that be if it was just kids umping kids?

And then they're yelling at the kids.

Yeah.

And then the coaches come out and kick dirt on the kids' shoes.

Kids should be allowed to yell at the kids.

Yeah.

Like the umps should be able to yell and kick kids out, and kids should be able to yell at the umps.

I think the Little League World Series should have kid umps.

Kid managers, too.

Kid managers, rock.

Kid announcers.

Yeah.

Why not?

Have it just be kids every day.

Be good.

Okay.

Where do we want to go to next?

Do we want to go to the golf, Hank?

Hank's an unmute.

You want to go to golf?

Yeah, we can.

Did you watch?

Oh, you didn't see.

Oh, I was at a wake.

No, I did not watch.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

I did not.

There were multiple playoff holes, so I thought maybe you'd seen one of the playoff holes.

Tommy Fleetwood is, I think I love him now because

it's rare that we have like just a good old bona fide, old-fashioned bona fide choker.

And that's all he is.

And he choked by going 69 Saturday, 69 Sunday.

But that putt on 17.

But like, think about it.

We obviously in sports media will

say someone's a choker.

Even, you know, Connor McDavis is a choker.

He plays a team sport.

Tommy Fleetwood seems like the nicest guy in the world, and he's just a choker.

That's just all he is.

He can't win the normal one.

He can't win a one.

He can't win a one.

And I think it's better that Scheffler didn't chase him down and beat him because everyone thought that was what was going to happen over the course of the weekend.

So I think

it's less sad for him that he didn't get just came back on by the best player in the world.

Yeah, I saw someone had,

I wish I had saved the tweet, but someone was like, Scotty Scheffler stalking Tommy Fleetwood is like one of those fucked up National Geographic shows where the lion goes after like the hurt antelope.

Yeah.

And you just know how it's going to end.

Well, it was like, yeah, it was the lions going after the injured little Cape Buffalo.

Yeah.

And then all the other buffalo came around to protect its child from the lions.

They fought off the lions, and then the baby still died of its injuries.

Yeah.

And then one of the buffaloes survived.

Do you think it's worse though?

I guess it's probably better that it's Justin Rose is like one of his best friends.

No, I think it's probably worse.

Yeah.

Give us the try my hardest.

I just tried my hardest.

Just try me hardest.

It's a very difficult hole

classy move by tommy fleetwood to to do the media rory could learn something from him he definitely could he did uh like during the playoff hole which was gut-wrenching

and uh yeah i i like partly feel bad for him and partly just love the fact that we have uh just a choke guy let's see what what were his earnings this year

it's insane that's so when i said poor tommy fleetwood people were like why would i feel bad for him he makes millions like you can still have some some compassion because he's a nice guy yeah And like he is trying his hardest and it's clearly consuming him because that putt on 17 was as choke as choke could putt could get.

Yep.

So his earnings this year, this is according to AI, so who knows if it's true or not, it says that he's earned 6.4 million in 16 tournaments this year.

Yeah, that's pretty good.

So it's pretty good.

Golf is just such a funny sport because you can play, objectively, he plays very, he's a great golfer.

Yeah.

He's an amazing golfer, one of the best in the world.

And just by not winning, you can still be making a fuckload of money.

And the worst part is, he's probably going to kick our teeth in in the Ryder Cup.

That would because team, he does do well in the Ryder Cup when it's the team setup.

Yeah, this doesn't have to be, you know, lone guy.

Just trying me hardest.

I just tried me hardest out there.

It's

a very tough peen location today.

I mix it up.

It goes to Australia real quick.

I just tried my hardest.

So here in 34, I got him at 34.9 million, and last year was his second best year.

He got 28.9.

Wait, he made 28.9 last year?

Last year, and then this year, 34.9.

That's what he made this year, Tommy Fleetwood?

34.9.

You just said six.

He just said six.

Is that his career earnings?

I'm sorry, cumulative.

That's cumulative.

Yeah.

I was going to say, holy shit.

I was like, I do not feel bad for him if he made 28.

No, that's his cumulative earnings.

Actually, his best year was 2023, where he made 12 mil.

It's actually impressive.

I guess if we're going to spin zone for Tommy Fleetwood, he's going to be the richest golfer to never win anything.

That's a great title to have.

Right?

Yeah.

Yeah, but

he's won the DP tour.

Well, that doesn't count.

He's won the Ryder Cup.

Okay, that's a team.

He's not one on the PGA tour.

No.

What does the DP tour even stand for?

Double penetration.

Is the European Tour?

He's European.

But what does it stand for?

Dude, perfect.

European.

Dan Patrick.

What do we think the DP World Tour stands for?

What does it say?

It's got to stand for something.

Does it not?

It used to be the European tour.

Now it's the DP tour.

Oh, is it just the sponsor?

I mean, I need an answer for this.

For sponsorship.

Alright.

Currently titled is the DP World Tour for Sponsorship Reasons.

So what the fuck is DP?

I see Dubai Ports, possibly.

Dubai Ports?

Dubai Ports.

That is a different.

Double penetration?

That's a different tour.

Displayed pictures.

Nope.

Okay.

DP Tour.

What does the DP and DP Tour World Tour stand for?

Do you think it doesn't stand for anything?

I think

this is a company, DP World.

Oh.

Okay, here it is.

Oh!

There we go.

So it's...

Okay, so it's the DP World Tour.

Tour is the only thing that

Europe is putting into this equation.

Yeah, you would think that it's World Tour as part of it, but it's not.

It's DP World.

DP World.

The multinational logistics.

Wait, go back to that.

Logistics company based in Dubai.

Does anyone understand logistics?

I think logistics is solutions.

Logical.

Okay.

Don't mess with my dots.

Was that Nextel?

I think it's innovative solutions for a fast-paced world.

Okay.

All right, so they move boats around and shit.

Probably.

Logistics services.

Oh, it's logistics services, not just logistics.

Services.

Port services, marine services, free zones.

All right.

Do we want to talk a little baseball?

Let's talk some seam.

We should start with Mariano Rivera tearing his Achilles the Old Timers Day game, which is so brutal.

That's a bad sign for the Yankees.

Bad sign for the Yankees.

Very bad sign for the Yankees.

And maybe not the biggest Yankees news to come out of this weekend.

No.

Are we going to talk about Aaron Boone getting ejected again?

Oh, no.

No.

Are we talking about the widest news?

The widest news of the weekend.

Johnny Damon,

which

it is Max.

I don't know what to say.

It is a shocking picture of Johnny Damon.

It's a shocking, shocking picture of Johnny Damon.

The pinstripes do nothing.

I don't understand.

He's got to keep the beard.

He can't shave the beard.

That's the Yankee rule, though.

Not anymore.

Not anymore.

I know, but when he joined the Yankees, he famously had to do that, trim everything up.

But now that they've relaxed that, Johnny needs to know that.

Yeah.

Max, how many times how many did your phone just blow up?

I have never had more mentions for anything ever in my life.

Like, the Super Bowl was

a fraction of the amount of mentions that I had when this Johnny Damon picture came up.

It was never-ending.

It was 10 full hours yesterday of, like,

I had Twitter up on my phone and it was just constantly refreshing of just people tagging me in it, thinking that I hadn't seen it.

Yeah.

And then obviously when you face swap it, you didn't, memes didn't even need to, but the face swap was great because it is.

It's just you.

You're a Yankee.

You're a Yankee today, Yankee today.

I think he looks good, to be honest.

Yeah?

Yep.

Do you think he wakes up and thinks he looks good?

Probably.

Yeah, the

face swap.

It's so good.

It really is.

It's just you.

Really, all you did was just add eyebrows.

Yeah.

Like your eyebrows to it.

No, it's Max.

You put this in the YouTube.

Oh, my God.

It was so funny.

It is the best baseball picture of the year.

Picture of the year.

The best part was Max.

I saw it because, shout out Hubbs, our co-worker, who's a big Yankees guy.

The guy who took the picture, Chris Kirshner, who I think is the Yankees beat reporter, literally texted Hubbs and was like, I just took this picture and it looks exactly like Max.

Oh, I I did.

That's funny.

I mean, yeah,

it's a shocking picture.

So funny.

When I first looked at it, I mean, I think everyone had the same thought.

When I first looked at it, I thought it was just a face swap.

Like, I thought that's, I thought this

had just done that.

I was like, okay, here's another one.

Then I looked at it closely.

I was like, holy shit.

This isn't me.

Oh, man.

Has Johnny addressed the picture yet?

I don't think so.

I don't think Johnny has social media.

Does he?

Oh, yeah.

A guy like Johnny, definitely.

He had a DUI arrest video, right?

He's a big-time DUI guy.

Yeah, just hanging out.

He has not addressed it on social media.

His picture on Twitter, X, the Everything app,

this does

happen.

It's a different guy.

That's a different guy in that picture as opposed to this one.

Yeah, I don't know.

It's just so fucking funny.

He's got eight kids.

And by the way, the Yankees are as

the Yankees and the Mets are basically racing to the bottom right now.

They both are, since June 13th, the Mets are 18-31 and the Yankees are 20-31.

Pretty bad.

Pretty bad times for baseball in New York.

And the Brewers never lose.

Oh,

that picture's from 20 years ago.

That's very funny.

Yeah, the Brewers literally never lose.

And they got guys pulling fucking Charizard cards now, too.

It's crazy.

Yeah, I saw that.

Explain the Charizard card to me, Zach.

How valuable is that card?

If it's a first generation, very valuable.

$100,000 of dollars.

And Biz Mizureski, he's the one that drew it.

Yeah.

The rookie pitcher?

Yeah.

What are the odds of you getting that card in a pack?

It's incredibly slim, not only just because

the packs are made so long ago, also,

guys are resealing packs and selling them.

So you got to just hope you got an okay pack to begin with.

I inquired about buying a pack because our good friend Nick Turani really wants a Charizard.

So I was like, oh, that'd be funny if I got it before him.

A pack of 10 cards.

Or no, maybe 8 cards?

Eight in a pack?

I believe so, yes.

Eight cards, PFT.

How much do you think a pack of eight cards is?

And this is obviously no guarantee that you're getting the Charizard.

I don't know how much the other non-Charizard cards are worth.

Like, what's a no, no, no.

Like, to purchase the cards.

No, yeah, I know.

So I'm trying to estimate how much that pack would be.

Like, if I just pull a random, like, a mid-Pokemon Zach.

What's like all the other cards that were in his pack?

What are those?

But that doesn't matter.

It's people just going for the Charizard.

I mean, some cards can just be worth like pennies on dollar.

Yeah.

Okay.

So I'll guess like four grand?

$8,000.

$8,000.

$1,000 a card, and they can all mean nothing.

That's crazy.

I was like, I can't.

This is crazy.

Is that the best card?

That is the best card.

Yeah, that's the Charizard.

Not Pikachu.

Not the Pikachu?

No.

Why not?

Isn't Pikachu the good guy?

Pikachu's a great right-hand man, but Charizard's the chase.

What about Charmander?

Charmander de-evolution of Charizard.

This is the baby Charizard.

He's in the family lineage.

Okay.

Would that be a Charizard rookie card?

Would it be a Charmander?

It would be

like adolescent Charizard, like just earlier in life.

Like less so.

Top prospect.

Rookie season.

Top prospect card.

Because First Generation would be his rookie unveiling.

There's other Charizards among the seasons.

Yeah.

Do they have First Edition?

It would be the rookie, pretty much.

I'm seeing one right now for $140,000.

Do they have autographed Charizard cards?

That I don't believe so.

I don't think Charizard

autographed.

No.

He was notorious for that.

He said you should be asking teachers and firemen for autographs, not dinosaurs.

He knows his worth.

He's like, I'm not doing this.

Also, just shout out Paul Skeens because he's insane.

He has 194 ERA.

It's crazy.

Seven and eight.

Yep.

It's fucked up.

Yeah, I love the people that are pointing.

I like that win-loss is starting to come back a little bit.

Yeah.

People would be like, dude, this guy, he's only got seven wins, and you think he's the best pitcher in baseball?

I mean, yeah.

Yeah.

I kind of like that.

I kind of like how RBIs are coming back.

Yeah.

RBIs are fun.

They are.

It obviously means a lot about who's around you in the lineup, but it's still fun.

You're never going to get...

the RBI off the main line when somebody talks about a batter stats.

That's there for life.

I don't care how meaningless you prove it to be be if you're talking about like OPSX slash.

Yeah.

That's never that's never coming on that graphic at the bottom of the screen when it guy's up to bat.

Agreed.

Agreed.

Okay.

Should we do who's back of the week?

That's some good ball talk.

Great ball talk.

Everywhere.

Who's back of the week?

Let's do who's back of the week.

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Cubs versus Pirates.

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We're looking for Cubs Pirates this weekend.

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Yeah, great weekend.

I think we're under attack on Tuesday, and you're living in Chicago.

Zach, I'm excited to hear your recap of that.

The Aaron Water Show is happening this weekend.

So we've got all sorts of planes and things coming through.

I'm calling it Blue Angels.

Oh,

okay.

The Blue Angels are going to be here?

I think so.

F-18s.

Yeah.

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It's just some Super Holes.

Correct.

That's good to know.

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On Saturday, August 16th, Pirates at Cubs.

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I'm seeing $75 get-in price.

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Okay.

Who's Back of the Week?

Hank, you got one for us?

My Who's Back of the Week was going to be Johnny Damon, but also Joe Missoula is back.

Oh, what'd he do?

Signed a multi-year extension.

Back with the Celtics.

They should just give him a job for life, but he's at least back for the next few years.

Do we know how many years?

Multi-years.

Multi-years.

So through the rebuild.

Yep.

That was smart to actually do that being like, because you know it's not going to be good next year.

Yeah, the tweet from the Celtics are said a multi-year extension.

Okay, multi-year.

Good for him.

It's a lot of years.

Or it could be only a few years.

Could be, but it's more than one year.

Hopefully, it's a lot of years for him.

A good friend joins us.

Okay, good.

Who's back, Hank?

Did you guys see Paul George at the club?

I did not see Paul George at the club.

Did you guys memes you saw Paul George at the club?

Can you pull it up?

You saw it, Hank?

I did.

Paul George's club?

I saw him at the bank.

He looked good.

Well, he looked okay.

Paul George was at the club.

He was a good fit.

Paul George is waiting in line at the club, and if you zoom in, he's got the knee brace on.

Yeah, that's being responsible.

Stickser.

That's being responsible.

If he's supposed to be wearing the knee bracelet,

that's a funny look.

It would be worse if he was at the club without the knee brace if he needs to be wearing the knee brace.

Fact or fiction.

You got to admit, it's a funny picture.

I'm so glad I saw this picture.

And it's a great fit.

Look at that fit.

Fire ass fit.

You couldn't pull that fit off.

No, I couldn't.

Oh, I could.

Great looking PFD.

I woke up like this.

PFD could probably pull it off.

Okay, yeah, that's Paul George.

I mean, if he's wearing the knee brace, he doesn't give a fuck.

He's just like, yeah, people are going to say whatever they do.

I'm injured.

What do you want me to do?

Listen.

I'd rather him wear that to the club than him not wear it to the club and walk out with an ACL.

But you could, there's a different, there's another path here.

Pants.

That's fair.

I thought you were going to say not going to the club.

Oh, pants.

It was probably.

Pants are real easy.

Yeah.

Pants are super easy.

You know what he's trying to do?

Like, let's just normalize all athletes wearing double knee braces to the club all the time, like offensive linemen.

Yeah, like maybe some shooting sleeves at the club.

Yeah, just in case somebody falls into you, you get rolled up on at the club, you're not going to hurt anything.

Okay, PFT, your who's back of the week.

I got two who's backs.

First is MGK.

Oh.

MGK dropped an album on Friday.

It's good.

I hate how much I like MGK's music.

He does have some good songs.

I really dislike how much I respect MGK as an artist.

I got into a fight with the Young'ins here recently because I said that MGK's got bangers and they just said I was.

No, he objectively has bangers.

Yeah.

He's got good songs.

What's that face, Hank?

What's up with that person?

Yeah, no, yeah, Hank's probably one of the haters.

We could get Rosift.

His halftime performance at the Cavs game?

That's pre-evolution of MGK.

That's not the current MGK.

He was in the crystal.

And then killed MGK, and then he had to come back.

He's also like.

He just switched genres, and he's better at the other genre.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He's not a fan.

He's

a pretty good pop-punk musician and songwriter.

Like, actually, very good.

Yeah.

So, I've been listening to his album all weekend, and every time I, like,

I'm embarrassed by it, and I need to get over this.

Oh, fuck.

I'll be rolling up to a stop sign, and I'm blasting the shit out of MGK, and then I, like, look around and I roll my windows up.

I'm like, I can't.

But now, you know what?

I'm out.

Gatekeeping music is the worst.

I'm out.

I'm officially, I'm coming out.

I'm an MGK fan.

We should actually do the Mount Rushmore of Worst Gatekeepers.

Yeah.

Music gatekeepers are my least favorite because

music is the most subjective.

Yeah.

You like what you like.

I like MGK.

I'm proud to say it's

MGK Pride Month.

I haven't listened to the new album.

You're going to have to give me a spark notes of which ones I should listen.

Sing one of the songs, please.

Not live so boring.

Pretty good.

Why make it look so fucked up here in stories?

Oh, there's a song, I want something

else to get me through this.

It's actually the chorus of one of his songs.

And I was listening to it.

I was like, this motherfucker just took a chorus from another song.

But anyways, he's good.

My other who's back of the week is Fatherhood.

Oh, yeah, I had it as well.

Fatherhood's back.

For a while, Fatherhood was kind of a thing that people were afraid to talk about, much like being an MGK fan.

But on Thursday, Anna Lulis tweeted out, pro-life NFL legend Tim Tebow shares a video holding his baby girl while working.

humanizing fatherhood.

Get married, have kids.

And it's got 32 million impressions on it right now.

First of all, referring to Tim Tebow as an NFL legend.

Great troll bait.

Great troll bait.

Absolutely great troll bait.

But I never thought, like, okay, fathers are humans until I saw Tim Tebow, NFL legend, working while also holding his child.

Yeah, it's.

And by working, I mean, he was looking at a laptop.

He was looking at his laptop.

He was getting screen time.

He was looking at his laptop.

Of course, they're going to politicize Tim Tebow having a kid.

Is that politics?

I don't know.

Well, the whole have kids part.

Yeah, have kids, maybe.

Yeah, but

it was just so funny because that baby is, I don't know, two months old.

That's like the easiest time to look after your kid.

They can't go anywhere.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I respect Tim Tebow for the fact that he was a,

he was like the poster child for virginity.

Yeah.

And now he's the poster child for having sex.

I've never seen a father hold their child and scroll their computer.

This guy's a dual threat.

It's crazy.

It's crazy.

Okay.

My who's back.

So I had fatherhood as well.

Tim Tebow, never been done.

Yeah, look at this.

You guys were going to see this video and be like, that's it?

That's all he's doing?

Yeah, he's holding his kids.

He's bouncing his newborn baby

while clicking on a mouse.

Well, not paying attention to his baby.

Yeah.

But it's also that that baby does not need attention paid because they're a baby that just sleeps all day.

He's kind of carrying it like a loaf of bread.

I'd like to see more security.

A little more head security.

Yeah.

Okay.

My who's back of the week is dumb bets because we're getting right close to college football season.

We got two of them, guys.

We got two of them.

The first is Paul Feinbaum.

Paul Feinbaum said that if an SEC team doesn't win the national championship, he will leave the country.

Okay.

I think he's going to use a loophole here and just like leave for vacation after the season.

Leave God's country?

I don't know.

But that was what he said.

So we got to hold him to it.

Yeah.

Listen, if you get mad at Paul Feinbaum at at this point and you don't understand that you're just playing into the WWE act of Paul Feinbaum, the joke's on you 100%.

If you're a Big Ten fan that's actually mad at Paul Feinbaum, be like, I fucking hate that guy.

First of all, I love you because you're what makes sports fun.

College football.

And continue to do that, please, for my own satisfaction.

But you've got to be smarter.

In the year 2025, to be able to fall for Paul Feinbaum's trap, it just you got to be better.

Here's what Paul Feinbaum's going to do.

If Ohio State wins, if Oregon wave Penn State wins, if someone else wins, Clemson.

Paul Feinbaum is going to take a picture from Italy in the end of January and be like, see, promises made, promises delivered.

I left the country.

I'm on vacation.

I'm in Palermo.

Yeah.

Paying my bet.

Yeah.

All right.

And the other one, this one, so

a Twitter account called The Raider Hub, Texas Tech fans said this is this is a great time of year because we talked about it with Justin Fields and how you get excited about preseason football.

So the Raider Hub said there's a legitimate possibility that Texas Tech could leave Salt Lake City 4-0 and be the number one ranked team in the country,

talking about the upcoming season.

And then it was quote tweeted by CFB Fight Club saying, if Texas Tech is ranked number one at any point this season, I will shove a five-layer burrito up my ass.

So we have another five-layer burrito back.

I like it.

And then I was like, am I just

like, why do I even care about this guy?

But guess what?

CFB Fight Club, you earned a follow because I went and clicked on your page and it says interactive place to talk all the trash you want on each other's school.

Love that.

Year-round account dedicated to college football.

It's like Yikiak?

Yeah, it's Smoot.

It's Smoot.

Yeah,

Smoot Talk.

Smoot Talk.

So yeah, he just talks shit about every college football team.

I'm in on it.

That's good stuff.

Somebody reminded me a couple weeks ago of the fact that I said when Greg Sciano was announced as a head coach of Rutgers, that if, because he said we're going to be ranked number one at some point, I said if Rutgers is ever ranked number one in football, I will cut my penis off.

Oh.

But I feel good about that bet, actually.

Okay.

I still think that that's one that I'm going to be on the winning side of.

It has to be with Greg Schiano.

With Greg.

Yeah, yeah.

I don't know how I phrased it.

I might be okay with just saying.

For the rest of the time.

For until the day I die.

Because they did win the first national championship.

They did.

And don't get me wrong.

Love Rutgers, James Gandolfini, grade school, birthplace of college football.

They invented the sport.

Yep.

Piscataway is magical on a

Saturday in early September.

Yep.

But I feel like my penis is safe.

I would say so.

Yeah.

But that's a good bet to at least have out there.

Okay.

Oh, I've got Who's Back as well.

My Who's Back of the Week.

Oh, that reminded me.

Someone tweeted me there was a discussion that I said that if we ever wrote a book, I'd put a free Brazzer's password in the book.

I will do that.

So that's another bet.

Okay.

I will make sure that, you know what?

I'm going to say 10 Brazzers passwords in the book that we sell.

Is that one per book or 10 in each book?

And

have to claim.

First 10.

Whoever gets the book first can get their free browser's password.

Okay, go ahead, Zach.

My Who's Back of the Week is going to be our coworker Michael Kadick because I've had a blast watching him traverse the Jersey Shore here recently.

Yes.

He's going tarps off.

He's protecting chicken fingers.

I saw him in a drum line doing percussion bass drum at some point.

He's busting dance moves that aren't in the bag of most big guys.

And

I just...

I can't get enough of it.

He's all the way back.

He's protecting chicken fingers.

Yes.

His actual chicken fingers.

I love that.

Yeah.

They might have been personal, but they were protected.

That's what he does.

The video of him just farting

and the face he made.

It was like

it was a two-year-old.

It's pure joy.

Yeah, pure joy of like, oh my God, I just made that out of my butt.

And he just had these girls sitting around watching.

Good who's back?

No video games.

Trying to broaden the horizons for you.

What's happening in video games?

Battlefield 6 beta came out this weekend.

Are you going to be part of this?

It was pretty fun.

Crew that Sass and Mook and Jerry have?

They're doing an awesome thing.

They're starting a Challengers team.

So, like, Challengers is a step before you would have a professional Call of Duty team.

They're starting from the ground up on that.

I wish them the best of luck in those endeavors.

That's such an awesome thing to try to accomplish.

Are they playing in it or are they just owning it?

So they're starting the team, looking for guys to play on the team.

Okay.

You're going to start your own streaming.

They're in an ownership

position on last week of August.

Last week of August?

We will be streaming.

Zach will be streaming.

We might start with college football, and then we'll go off from there.

We can rip streams.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm done rip streams.

Rip the stream.

Okay.

Good who's backs, everyone.

Let's do our Mount Rushmore and then we get to Travis Pestrana.

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All right.

Ready for the Mount Rushmore, guys?

Yep.

Mount Rushmore of things we are excited to do when we're old.

Who goes first?

So the standings are 33, 33, 30.

It's anyone's game right now.

Whew.

Too close.

Surprisingly, Hank's Mount Rushmore of Dream Blunt rotation did not finish in last.

So shout out Hank.

Yeah, Hunter S.

Thompson, people didn't like that pick.

That was probably a bad pick by me.

I would agree, though.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay, who goes first?

I believe PFT and Hank.

Okay.

And then we're second?

You're second.

Me and Max third.

We've been doing this the same order every day, every week this summer.

Still got to ask.

Still confused.

Okay, so Hank, is this me or is this you?

Actually,

you guys are the same team.

We're the same team, but I forget

who's taking the lead.

I think it's me.

You got the rock, sir.

Okay,

so 1-1.

Hank, do you think the second one on our list is good?

I don't want to screw up 1-1.

I don't know.

That's the loaded question.

I think it's a good choice.

I trust you.

I don't want to say yes to that.

Whatever you want to pick,

I'm down with.

Playing golf every day.

Okay.

Play golf every day.

Okay.

I don't know why you even had any discussion.

Yeah, that what was the problem?

It's a good pick.

I don't know why Hank thought maybe not.

Yeah.

Well, I just didn't want to, you know, it's obviously going to be my team.

I said it.

I said it.

Not team.

Yeah, no, no.

Yeah.

Listen, I've played golf every day since Tuesday.

It's kind of fun.

Yeah.

It's a good thing to do.

Okay, R11.

Not after work.

Not work.

Not work.

Yep.

What do you mean?

Yeah.

How do you play golf every day if you don't first not work?

Well, that is Hank's job.

No, that's what I'm saying.

Like,

I'm ready for that.

I feel like you love to work.

Well, no, I have, I went, doing this exercise made me realize that I'm very excited to get

old.

Thing about me is I love my job.

Yeah.

So I love working.

But you guys can't play that game when you're just picked playing golf every day because that would be not working.

No,

I know.

I could play golf every day tomorrow.

Right, but you'd have to first not work.

Right.

That wouldn't be a problem for me.

I feel like it would be be more of a transition for you.

Got it.

Got it.

That's what you're trying to say.

Yeah, I mean, I'm talking about, like, in I'm not talking about tomorrow.

We're talking about when we get old.

True.

You're talking about tomorrow.

Yeah, I'm old.

Okay.

I think those were the clear one

first two picks there.

Are you guys okay in there?

Yeah.

You guys were okay.

They tried to come at me for me and Zach for saying not work.

You guys had that.

Those were the clear one-and-two picks.

You guys were having a little meeting in a dark room before this podcast.

Yeah, no, this is a thin rush.

This is a tough ride.

Oh, I just went.

We went deep.

Enjoyed this one.

We enjoyed the hell out of this one.

I think this is a real tough one.

Oh, I think it's wide open.

We are going to say

moving to good weather.

Okay.

Golf every day if weather's not nice.

Okay.

Cool.

And we're going to follow that up with.

Is this the right way to word this?

I don't know how it is.

They're in a.

No,

this one we struggled with a lot.

Okay.

Is that the right way?

Okay.

I don't know if that's the right way to say it.

Okay.

What about that?

Is that better?

This is.

No, I think it's think it's just.

Jesus Christ.

I mean, you guys.

We are the only ones who don't do the...

I think I'm going to take four.

Yeah, because we're not.

No,

I think like

12.

12.

No.

Max, do you think that's the decision?

No, because

I just make the decision.

He's on the pick.

Yeah.

You think maybe that's because you're the only team that sits next to each other?

No, because I just make the decision.

We don't sit next to each other.

Hank is.

You're literally doing that by saying this one, this one.

Hank is at a funeral.

I've had to try to text with him, and now we're communicating for the first time this but like

first time ever that i joined one person picks every witch so don't do that okay what are you talking about okay i lost you our system is all right one person has the ball that's the whole system you idiot

do you do do you do that do you do the two 15 get 18 19 24

What you you just you just say the two six nine twelve seventeen seventeen uh I think it's actually gonna be 15 I said you just I said, do you want to do the second one on the list?

I know.

That's what you guys do every time.

This is the first time

that there was any delay.

We don't.

No.

Me and Big Cat used to be.

This is a unique circumstance because I'm fucking home for a year.

I get that.

I think you forgot the funeral portal.

Yeah.

Okay.

Whatever.

We're going to say.

Oh, no.

Saying whatever you want and not giving a fuck.

That's what we're saying.

Okay.

Okay.

It's a good pick.

Good pick.

Do you think we could take four from that, off that, or no?

I think those are separate, right?

Yeah.

Because

one is an attitude, one's an act.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, so what were your two picks?

It was moving to good weather and saying whatever you want and not giving a fuck.

Got it.

Okay.

Or do we take two?

I'm going to do this either.

Two is great as well.

But do we just avoid the do we avoid possibly

being

do we avoid one being null and void by just taking two instead of taking four?

Yeah, maybe.

Maybe.

Okay, yeah, yeah.

We're going to take napping.

Just napping all the time.

We just had sleep.

Like, you can just wake up whenever you want.

You can nap whenever you want.

That's a good pick.

Good pick.

So,

should we ask if that pick would have been even.

Do we take it?

No, okay, all right, yeah.

We'll go with napping.

We have something that's similar to what you said, but so we know how it was going to get ruled.

It'll probably be honorable mention.

I mean, memes turned to me after you said it and said, can we say retire?

And I was like, that's the same thing.

You're not working.

My next pick is trying to get my handicap lower.

Oh, okay.

You guys have two.

Okay, we're going to go with

traveling, traveling the world.

Okay.

Going on lots of sick vacations whenever you want.

I feel like traveling gets harder when you're older, though.

Tough.

No, I'm not talking when you're like 95 years old.

I'm talking you're like 65.

You guys, see, this has to be

a good pick.

Because you guys are old.

So this has to be

old like that.

Buddy, if we're old, you're in trouble.

10 years younger.

Yeah, but you're in trouble.

Correct.

If we're old.

Correct.

You got to be doing the opposite to us that we couldn't young.

He couldn't do this.

This is a wild objection.

He's traveling

the world when you're older.

I have a 27-year-old on my team, and he did a great job.

That's what everyone does when they're like

so much more life to live.

He is an older soul for sure.

So much more life to live, guys.

All of us.

Wow.

Could you just throw him the big O at us?

You're saying like

you can't get around?

It's impossible to travel in the world.

No, it's a lot tougher.

It is tougher.

It is tough.

I also don't like traveling.

I like traveling.

Traveling's great.

Checking off places on the bucket list.

I love that.

All right.

Next up, we're going to go with never setting an alarm.

Okay.

Yeah, we have that.

Yeah, not setting an alarm.

No alarms tomorrow.

Going to bed.

Just let nature take its course.

Okay.

We're going to go off here for our last two picks.

Do you like 10?

I love 10, but what's 10 going to do to us?

I think we got to just be ourselves.

We're making ourselves laugh.

We would like to take,

as a third pick, light shoplifting.

Light shoplifting.

Just a little bit of light shoplifting.

Some of it.

When you're old, you can kind of just walk out with shit.

Oh, I'm sorry.

And people aren't going to get mad at you.

Like, you can't rob.

Yeah.

But you can walk out with, you know, oh, I didn't know I put the candy bar in there.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, that drink.

Oh, that soda that's in my pocket.

Whoops.

I guess the days are just getting away from it.

Yeah, light shoplifting.

Do you guys like that pick?

A little light shoplifting.

I like that.

Hell yeah.

Sure.

It wasn't on our list.

Yes, it wasn't on our list.

I think this is where we went a different different place than you guys.

Well, people can get away with crimes for sure.

Yeah.

Okay.

We're going to go.

This one we're excited about.

This one we're excited about.

I'm excited that you're excited.

We're going to do becoming a regular at a restaurant.

Yeah, okay.

Got it on there.

Just like going to the same either breakfast spa or like

I diner.

Yeah, going to the same diner and

they know you.

They know your order.

Just the same thing.

Like, that's going to be awesome.

There's like a really cute 30-year-old waitress that's really sweet to you.

That's like I'm excited for what Hank has said.

Hey, Mr.

Delaney.

Oh, Hank, how are you doing?

Hank.

I'm just curious what is stopping you from doing that now.

Well, you can't.

You have to work.

You have to work.

Do you not go to restaurants?

That's what you're doing.

I don't regret it.

You don't have regular?

You have a lot of free time.

No, I do not go to the same restaurant.

I don't have my every morning open to go to...

to a diner every morning now.

Well, no, you said restaurant.

Okay.

Sure.

Restaurant.

Sure.

Hank, would you say that...

No, you said restaurant.

It's a restaurant.

Restaurant, restaurant, diner, same thing?

Yeah.

No, diner and restaurant.

I know what you guys are saying.

Become a regular at a restaurant.

Hank, would you say it would be stronger pick if it was diner?

Because you can't go to breakfast every morning when you're working.

I don't think we had it on our list.

I feel like I go to the same restaurants and diners all the time now.

Are you a regular?

I'm not like regular, regular, but like.

So you're kind of proving their point.

I had it on our list.

I thought about doing just meeting people for breakfast.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I'm going to have a breakfast club.

Yeah.

Just hanging out, dudes.

You want to meet me for breakfast tomorrow?

Okay.

Love a cup of coffee, some waffles.

And then going home and napping.

Yeah.

My grandparents went to the same diner for like 25 years and sat there for four hours every second.

That's awesome.

Yeah.

That's awesome.

Okay.

And your last pick?

This one, this, I see, this one's kind of boring.

But should we just say it?

It is so boring, but I should say.

I might pivot.

Pivot.

No, no, no, pivot.

What's a pivot?

I think I might pivot.

No,

pivot.

Have fun with it.

Don't be boring.

Getting super into an old person's game.

Okay.

Whether it's like

card games.

Yeah.

Whether it's a card game,

shuffle board, or bingo.

Just getting super into

one game that you only play once you get old enough.

Yep.

Patty.

I think we got to go with nine.

We got nine.

Yeah, nine is a pick.

Yeah, yeah.

I agree.

Handicapped parking.

Oh,

I can't wait to pick it up.

Dude, if I get home.

Fuck, that's a good one.

Oh, we looked it up.

We looked up the law.

It's if you can't walk unassisted 200 feet.

So if you have

a cane, walker, walker.

Anything.

Dude,

those spots are so fucking good.

That's a good one.

They're so good.

Gremo spots.

I always pass it.

I'm like, obviously don't want.

I'm very thankful.

To be able.

To be able.

But if you're old,

that's a good deal.

I remember my grandfather had it, and it was good.

That's a very good pick.

That wasn't on our list.

I wish that was on our list.

I got a little life hack for the people out there.

Get injured in college because having a handicapped parking permit, a temporary one, on a college campus is the best fucking thing that's ever happened to me in my life.

It was awesome.

You could just drive right up to your class like five minutes before and get out and just walk right in.

Didn't have to worry about the big parking lots or anything like that.

If you have like a broken foot or a broken leg in college, that is actually the best thing you can do.

Yeah.

Okay, your guys' last pick.

Okay, our last pick.

Hank, do you have a recommendation?

Because if not, I've got one.

I trust you, sir.

Okay.

So you guys tapped out on picks in the booth?

No, we got.

We have a lot of picks or just a lot of bad ones.

We got a ton on the board.

I mean, don't do the Jesus one.

That's a joke.

Well, at least say it.

Finding Jesus and devoting my life to him.

All right.

I actually was kind of thinking, like,

I'm not a

God guy, but I do think when people get older, they become more religious.

Yeah, because you think, like,

I saved myself.

Yeah.

Okay, so for our last one,

I'm going to go with

pretending not to hear someone you don't want to talk to,

regardless of who it is.

Okay.

If it's just a jerk that you don't like, if it's a police officer being like, hey, you can't park here.

What if you actually can't hear him?

But yeah, you can do both.

Okay.

Not being able able to.

If you're getting old, you would definitely not be able to hear them.

Yeah, pretending, but you can get away with pretending not to hear people that you don't want to talk to.

Yeah.

Okay.

I enjoyed that, Mount Rushmore.

That was fun.

We had a lot of honorable mentions.

I'm surprised spoiling grandkids didn't make it.

That's kind of boring.

I had a list.

I asked my dad to do this.

He gave me an entire list.

So it was just roasting the podcast.

Yeah.

Do you want me to read them or do you want to?

Yeah, you got it.

So from Hank's dad, dunking a basketball.

Learning Freebird.

getting TSA pre-check,

going to the dentist regularly.

Actually, have it.

Don't.

Yoga.

Living on one level.

That would actually be cool.

That was a good question.

Ranch house.

Ranch house is a business.

Ranch house.

Ranch house at the beach.

Dude, ranch house in the desert.

Yep.

Ooh.

When your kids all come home to visit.

Getting rid of all your work clothes.

Wearing Roback all the time.

Mm-hmm.

Not having to dye your hair.

Feeling not bad about farting all the time.

I don't.

Good list from Mr.

The Rowback one is solid because my dad loves the free rowback I gave him.

Did your dad also include when your kids remember your birthday?

He forgot that one.

The one we were going to do that I don't know if it was very similar to your second pick, but I'm excited for being able to flirt with every waitress.

Yeah, yeah.

It would have been different enough, I think.

Yeah, but flirting with waitresses, calling everyone sweetie.

Yeah.

It's pretty.

It's going to be fun.

Where you get off-color jokes.

That's kind of what you guys are going through.

Yeah, you can just say whatever you want.

Yeah.

We probably should have taken the senior discounts.

Yeah.

We had senior discounts.

We had

Social Security was going to be our boring one, but that's.

Yeah, collecting, collecting social,

yeah, collecting Social Security.

All forms of retirement.

Yeah, but that just feels like, yeah, whatever.

All right, so Hank, do you want to hear why I am now comfortable with getting old after doing this exercise?

Okay, here's what I have.

This is all the things that made me, and some of them were already picked, like becoming a regular at a diner,

sitting on my porch, just sitting on my porch.

Don't sit on my porch.

Memes had it.

Yep.

Day baseball, just going to everyday baseball.

Horse track.

I knew you were going to say horse track.

Horse track all day, every day.

I knew you were going to say horse track.

I'm ready to retire now that I've gone through this.

I'm going to become a big-time metal detector at the beach guy.

Big time.

Do you like that or not?

No, I hate that.

That sounds like.

That's fine.

That sounds like doing yard work.

No, that's way better.

You're going to find shit.

Early dinner.

I would love to do early dinner.

Early dinner is rock.

You're done with dinner at like 6 o'clock.

That's so great.

Watching your enemies die.

I got some enemies that I wouldn't hate seeing die.

That's a good one.

And like, the older you get, the better chance you have to watch them die.

I think more about friends, but.

Yeah, no, I was trying to do the positives.

Like, Jimmy Carter had to be pretty pumped in his face.

How many enemies?

Yeah, how many enemies do you have?

I got a list of enemies.

Hopefully, you're not on it.

Getting multiple dogs.

Yep.

Like, I think old people, that's like an old person thing to get, like, big dog, mid little the little dog, medium-sized dog.

You just walk them around all day.

You just walk them around your neighborhood.

You should have dogs.

Getting a bunch of dogs, a lot of land, maybe growing her crops.

I'm thinking about the farmhouse again.

What do you guys think about train sets?

Nah, I'm out.

I think I would love to be a train set guy.

No, that's a world I don't think you want to get into.

You might get shot like Bobby Bakala.

Yeah.

I think train sets have potential.

Yeah.

Or anything like

maybe woodwork too.

What do you think?

Yeah.

Anything hands-on where like keeps your cognitive function going, but you're like, you're achieving a goal, but at the end of the day, it's like a train car.

Yeah.

I thought of this one.

This one probably is going to get poo-pooed.

I think I would maybe become a big puzzle guy.

Not

I'm, I love puzzles.

I'm talking about the big puzzle.

It's just everybody's one that takes up your whole room.

Yeah, it just stays on.

Like walking by every morning and just putting one piece in.

Yep.

I like that is like such a

if you sit down and it's like a really

like large number puzzle and you get one piece.

Yes.

It's such a, it's such a good sense of, you know,

I'm struck by it.

Accomplishment?

Yes, that's what I was trying to find there.

Just walking by and being like, yep, all right, there's my puzzle for the day.

Yeah, just developing new hobbies.

Yeah.

Trying out new hobbies.

Yeah, but really the racetrack, day baseball, flirting with waitresses at the diner that I'm a regular at.

That's pretty much.

I think you're talking about Pete Rose.

Yeah, pretty much.

Become Pete Rose.

Cool with that.

What else did you do?

Get in the baseball hall of fame when you die?

Yeah.

We had eating whatever you want because you're just going to die anyway.

Yeah, but that goes the other way where, like, you, I feel like every old person, like, they're, they want to,

they're trying to hold on.

You got to hold on as hard as you can.

Yeah, and also, as you get older, if you continue to eat poorly, then you just, you shit yourself.

Yeah.

You have to, like, start watching what you eat because your body handles things better.

Yeah.

Max didn't like this pick, but retirement homes where you just fuck all the time.

Oh.

Yeah, if you're a dude in a retirement home?

Yeah.

But the actual home itself seems bad.

Well, there's like some are okay.

Retirement homes know retirement communities.

Yes.

Communities is what you want.

Where it's like standalone houses, but they're all like, you know, like-age people.

Or like assisted living doesn't sound fun, but a retirement community

where you have like, it's like upscale, upscale condos, but you have like a common area with your restaurants.

Yeah, no, that's awesome.

That's awesome.

Yeah, it's like a walkable little mini city.

Yeah.

Everybody's doing golf carts.

Yeah, I was born.

Golf cart communities.

I was just thinking happy go more.

Like in my in my head, I was like, that sounds bad.

Golf carts is a big miss.

Getting everywhere in your golf cart.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Golf cart's so much fun.

Yeah.

It might be the best part of golf.

Yeah.

It's sitting at the docks.

Oh, going out on your dock.

Sitting.

Yeah.

Just sitting a lot.

Like, just sitting around and just, yeah, you're just staring out at the ocean, staring out at your porch, playing cards, like I said.

Bingo night,

shuffle board.

There's so many games.

I just want to get into an old person.

I just want to get really into a game.

Rummy?

Rummy.

Rummy's fantastic.

Rummy's great.

Love Rummy.

Yeah.

What else did you have, Zach?

Having people drive you around.

Yeah.

Ever having to be like behind the wheel?

Yeah.

Chauffeure.

Also, you're never the DD, so I get the functions.

You can just kind of.

Get fucked up.

Yes.

Yeah.

Other stuff that could be fun as an older person is

wait no oh never have to check your phone yeah

you just you don't have to worry about any emails text phone calls you're just you're communicating with who you got in front of you and that's it the comically large text on your phones you are at like 200 zoom yeah

what about forgetting what day of the week it is

that's got to be nice that's kind of one of those things one big day you know the whole like you you basically are a baby and then an old person is a baby.

That's like my kids never know what day of the week it is.

Yeah, but if you're old, it's because you doesn't matter.

Yeah.

I'm going to wake up.

I'm going to do what I want to do.

Every day is every day.

Yeah.

Like the diner thing is what I really just want.

I just want to have breakfast at the same place every day.

Do you think that Saturdays actually suck for old people?

I'm not talking about college football Saturday, but like Saturdays in general, like all the restaurants.

Well, I'm just saying on a Saturday, all the restaurants are packed, way more traffic in places that normally don't have traffic.

I would normally say yes, but sports start earlier.

Sports do start earlier on Saturday.

Yeah, but I mean.

But yeah, like golf tea times are harder to get.

Yeah, going to the movies.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

You could be right.

It's like reverse weekends.

Yeah.

Or like when you have a...

So you're at 75, 80, got an older friend as well, been with you for a long time, maybe just like sitting down, hanging out, reminiscing a little bit, like old stories.

Yeah.

That always looks like a blast.

Yeah.

Just scoffing at kids.

You don't have to be cool.

You can wear whatever you want.

Mismatched clothes.

Yep.

Slippers everywhere.

When we were talking, we were like, we wear sweatpants every day.

And we're like, well, that's what we do already.

Yeah.

So that doesn't really play as well.

Yep.

Okay, that was good, Mount Rushmore.

It makes me look forward to being old a little bit.

Yeah.

Hank, do you think I can retire now?

Did I have laid out my diner, nap,

horse track day baseball?

Light shoplift?

No.

Light shoplift?

But no.

Why?

Because

you're still going to want to get off your takes.

Yeah, but I could just do it at the diner.

What if PFC and I just have a standing date at the diner every morning and we make you come with the recorder?

You produce it?

Yeah, no.

It's just not even recorded.

I think we're talking about a conversation.

Oh, we so would do that too.

We're talking about a conversation.

Just pay Max, Hank, and memes to just come with us with the Zoom

and just be like, hey, you guys got to record this and put it out.

Oh,

eating a little bit of dessert with every meal.

Uh-huh.

Like breakfast dessert.

A little bite.

Lunch dessert.

Oh, yeah.

Old people definitely, they get pie at breakfast.

Yeah, I'll have, you know what?

We'll do the pie.

Yeah,

that's so true.

Have you ever done this?

This actually happened to me on Friday night.

Went out to a nice restaurant, wanted dessert.

They had as their special at the bottom, they had peaches and cream.

Okay.

I was like, fuck, I haven't had peaches and cream maybe ever, but it sounds good.

I ordered the peaches and cream,

and it was a salad.

What?

It was like cubed peaches, and the cream was like

a cheese, and then there was like a vinaigrette and spinach on it.

I accidentally ordered a salad for my dessert, but it was at the bottom of the mini.

So you would think that being at the bottom,

that means dessert.

I just had to sit there and I ate a salad for dessert on Friday.

It really got the weekend off to a bad start.

That's terrible.

Yeah.

I'm still thinking about it.

I woke up thinking about the dessert salad.

I had so much ice cream.

By the way, I want to make a quick announcement because Zach is part of the cream team.

I have, much like Oppenheimer building the bomb, I got soft serve ice cream the other day.

And actually, Max, Zach and Jacob did a great Viva TV video.

Go watch it now, where they tried out people for the cream team.

Max tried out and Max made a point that it's too soupy.

I went out and got ice cream this weekend and it was eight layers of soft serve and it was perfectly stood so firm and tall.

I told these guys they have to stop at nothing to get us to that point in our machine.

So are you talking, what do you mean mean, eight layers?

Like, it was eight swirls.

So, eight times 360 degrees.

And it was just, it was as, as like, perfect.

We can't, what do you think we can get to?

Four?

We can do four consistently.

We can't touch eight right now in full transparency.

I told them, do anything you have to do, whether it's the temperature, the mix, whatever, because Zach's like, we might break the machine.

I was like, you have to try.

I think it's more about the balance of the cone.

Like, you could design a piece of robotics that has like a gyroscope in it that keeps the cone perfectly level and moves around in circles and you might be able to get up to 10.

no but the thickness of our ice cream is the problem it's those bottom foundational layers to hold the other rows and our foundational layers after like four and maybe like a half turn with the peak are they start to fade away quick starts to fall you got to get a big cone max the one who brought this yeah the way i described it is have you seen those tick tocks where people will take soft serve ice cream and just throw it at their co-workers face we need to get to that point i don't know if you've seen these videos it's a trend that was going on on TikTok for a while.

I missed that one.

But they get

the way that they, it's like a baseball, and then it just sticks.

Like, it doesn't drip at all, even after it hits the person in the face.

And it's so thick that

it travels so well.

There's no way that our cream would travel like that.

Yeah.

We're going to need to get our cream to that point.

Since we're doing the Mount Rushmore things, we look forward to when we're old, and you called us old with a capital O.

Yeah, no, well, that was in the lash out portion of the rush more.

Okay.

Yeah.

Since we are old with the capital O, what's the 41 thing?

I know the 67.

I do, too.

I found out about that, but that's

the one I said it, and then I went and looked it up.

The 67 is a song.

Yeah, man.

What's 41?

What's for it?

Oh, wait.

I thought the 67 was on the periodic table that it was like, ho.

But then there's also a song to it where Zach is a 6'7.

41.

41 is just Hoopify's version of 6'7.

He's just indoctrinated.

Oh, that's just Hoopify made it?

Yeah, him and a guy named.

There's a guy, something dumb.

I forget the first part of his name, but it's just instead of 6'7, it's 41.

Oh,

I wish I hadn't learned this.

41.

And then 6'7 is like this.

I know, 6-7.

Did you see Brian Dable did it?

What does this mean when you go 6'7?

That I don't have for you.

Hank?

41.

I really thought it meant ho.

They also sell like 6'7 water now.

Like they're getting in the beverage pan.

I'm so lost right now.

I think I'm right.

I think I'm right.

Hoe?

Because 67 on the periodic table is

home?

Is hoe is hoe.

So in the song 67, they're talking hoes.

Back in our day when 69 was the only funny number, 69 and 420 was all you needed.

420 was great.

Really sad.

Really sad where we've gotten to.

All right, let's get to our interview.

We got Travis Pestrano.

Awesome interview.

One of the coolest guys in the world.

And also, we taped this before Zach got his orange hat, so we didn't even know.

Only went up from there.

But awesome interview.

Let's do it.

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And now here's Travis Pastrana.

Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very, very special guest.

It is Grit Week presented by Hey Dude.

It's Travis Pastrana.

17 X Game medals.

Is that right?

I think you only count the golds, though.

Okay, so it's 11.

All right, no, I'm going to count all.

So 11 gold, 17 total.

Right.

All right.

So we're here on Grit Week.

We're in Pastrana land.

It's insane here.

First question is always, what does the word grit mean to you?

For me, grit means it doesn't matter how sick you are, how hurt you are, how whatever's getting in your way, you get it done.

Okay.

I think that's a, I think coming from you, that makes sense because I've been reading up.

I guess I...

I guess I'll start at the beginning.

Like you, you started, you were on a dirt bike when you were four years old.

Is that right?

Yep, started riding.

four.

Racing

racing, my whole family was kind of construction.

My dad was always riding dirt bikes.

So, yeah, it was.

That's insane.

I think now, though, dude, the kids, if you don't start by four, you're probably not making it to that professional level.

There's very few.

I mean, yeah, like McGrath and some of the guys back in the 90s that started riding BMX first, but nowadays, like, it is, it's amazing how hard these kids work and how good they are.

Is that competitive?

Coming along so progression is ridiculous.

That's did you think when you were growing up that there was like a big future for you, like financially, professionally, like just going fast all the time?

No, as a kid, you never, I don't know, my reality never set in.

Like, I feel like every kid wants to be a firefighter, astronaut, or soccer player, football, whatever it is.

And I just, as I got older, my friends started having to figure out they're getting real jobs or they're getting hurt or they didn't love what they do.

And I'm 41 years old, still making a living on kids' toys.

I mean, it's freaking awesome.

It's pretty cool.

This place is insane.

I mean, for, but we, we put out a video.

I think people will see the video before the interview, but you have 20 acres.

You have 20 acres yourself.

You're saying it's 100 acres total.

There's a bunch of tracks.

You took us out.

We did some jumps.

I mean, it's like dreamland.

Trusting me, by the way.

Yeah.

No, it's good.

It's so this area we basically built, you know, from the time I signed, I won my first X games,

got a little bit of money, everything's gone into this land and it's a redneck paradise.

But it's, it's funny because everyone thinks this is like way in the middle of nowhere, but we're, you know, we're 16 miles from the DC Beltway and we're five miles from Annapolis.

So it's, it's really cool.

And we got just all the people that live on this road are all either snap-on workers or they're military or

mechanics.

Like if you need anything done or there's a zombie apocalypse, this is where you want to be.

I was thinking about that.

Yeah.

So in case shit goes down, is it cool if we just crash here for a while?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

We got arsenals in most of the houses.

There's people out back shooting all the time.

We do all, I mean, it's if

when I say redneck paradise, I mean, we can fix anything, we can build anything, we jump anything, we crash everything, we're always on bikes, we're always in cars.

And it's like for me, I don't think I've ever grown up.

I think my wife is starting to realize that now.

Like, she's, you know, she lived this life a lot, but she's like, all right, you know, now we, we, we moved about a, you know, about a mile away.

So not too far, but just far enough to be like, all right, there has to be a separation from like, you know, this is your church and state.

This is where you go to have fun.

Yeah.

That sort of thing.

But I feel like this is where, how many hours a week do you spend out here?

So I'm not home a lot, to be perfectly honest.

So we're probably, but when I'm home, I'm here.

And what's really cool about moving away was, you know, now I kind of come and it really feels like this is my job, if you will.

And I can come in here.

And what's cool now is my kids are 10, 11 years old.

They were just out running the can-ams all morning and four-wheelers.

They're not as big into the motorcycles, but I mean, we got like the world's biggest trampoline out there.

They said all kinds of things.

Yeah, we saw that.

We saw that.

That scared the fuck out of me.

Right, right.

Yeah.

Has there been an idea?

Cause you have so many different jumps, so many different parts of this property that you can go out and just be creative, fuck around with it.

Has there been an idea that's been like too much where you've had to say, I don't know about that one.

That one seems like it's a little too far.

Well, we're currently just purchased the world's largest outdoor wind tunnel.

So that might be- How big is it?

So it's second biggest in the world to Dubai, but it's the world's biggest outside.

So it's

like 25 feet.

in circumference so it's pretty big yeah uh but it's going to take four uh like megawatts i don't even even know what a megawatt is, but it's like, I feel like we're going back to the future here.

So I don't know if we can even afford to power it.

So that might have been too big.

What are you going to do with it?

Yeah.

What are you going to do in it?

Dude, we got a catapult system coming.

So the catapult, we're going to fly up and see if we can stop in the wind.

Like in mid-air.

Like, yeah.

Suspend yourself.

Wonder if we could backflip dirt bikes over and like high-five the people.

You know, we have so many ideas.

Yeah.

It is limitless.

Wait, you, and you jumped out of an airplane without a parachute before, right?

It's kind of passed or fail is my favorite kind of test.

Okay, so what was What, why did you decide to do that?

Have you ever seen you have kids at the time?

No.

Okay.

All right.

Yeah.

Before, pre-kids, pre-wife, let's see, you know,

but yeah, so point break.

I mean, Johnny, Utah did it.

I was like, you gotta, so kind of as a joke, it started out.

And then I started skydiving.

I'm like, man, there's some really, really good skydivers.

I'm like, we could probably drop an anvil out, which would be me kind of like, yeah, yeah.

I'm all right.

I can get around on this guy, but those guys are amazing.

So, yeah, we hired some guys that actually one of the guys that caught me was military because it was kind of not exactly legal to do.

So, the pilot was 15 years old and didn't have a pilot's license.

There's a word for that, by the way.

It's illegal.

Yeah, I guess I could have stopped with that.

Yeah, anyway.

So, I wouldn't recommend doing it, but it was fun.

It was a good checklist.

I was, I was young.

Were you scared at all?

The scariest part was that when I jumped out of the plane in board shorts and my socks.

Yeah.

And I kind of giggled and I thought, this is like, this feels normal.

And that's what scared me the most.

Oh, my God.

I was going to say, because like you're just reading about your like upbringing.

So four years old, you're on your, you're, you're racing competitively on, on a motorbike.

How many hours a day were you on like a motorbike when you were five, six, seven?

So, well, so my whole family was all either military or division one.

My uncle Alan was quarterback for Denver Broncos for two years.

Like, um, I was the runt of my family for sure.

And the only way that I could prove that I was tough, I mean, my granddad was called Glove Boxer.

They were all like, everyone was tough.

Something, yeah.

Something.

And I, I wasn't.

So what I realized was I'm extremely durable.

And when it came to like jumping off of bridges, a lot of bridges around here into water, like I didn't mind doing the most flips and I didn't mind getting hurt.

I didn't even mind flopping.

And then, you know, we started kind of doing it with some of the other family guys that like my cousin Greg and we started filming stuff.

And all of a sudden, this was kind of pre-Youtube and everything.

And it just kind of kind of evolved from there.

Yeah.

I was going to say, because you, I was also reading that you got diagnosed with ADHD.

Was that the easiest diagnosis ever?

No, well, because they were just, the doctors were just like, yeah, this kid's riding motorbikes and jumping off bridges when he's four years old.

The irony on that was that, yes, I was diagnosed with ADHD.

But now when I, all the, like, the testing that we do, so we've done just a bunch of stuff for head injuries, concussions, a lot of really cool stuff with like the Lattrelle brothers, Lone Survivor, Marcus and Morgan.

They've invited a couple of Nitro Circus guys as well, some of the NFL players down.

We paid for it, but just to go through their same concussion protocols and stuff and learned a lot.

Besides getting sidetracked and completely forgetting what we were talking about right now, the coolest part about that.

Shit, what was the question?

The ADHD was the easiest diagnosis ever because you were riding motorbikes at four.

Yeah, so I do get easily distracted.

But

all of these tests, it was funny because I'm in the top like 1% of attention, but only when most people's attention falls off.

Yeah.

Like, I don't know.

I just kind of get fixated on something.

If you really care about something, when your life is on the line, you're focused on it.

So, yeah, when adrenaline kicks in, like, when most people's brains kind of go the other way, like, that's when, that's my happy spot.

Yeah, yeah, that's shit.

I mean, that's pretty incredible stuff.

So, yeah, so you come up, you start riding competitively, and then you get your first X-Games medal, you put everything into this place.

And then, when you first, when you first got the spot and you got the bulldozer, you said the, what, the yellow truck and the bulldozer were the first things that you got here yep so i i kind of did it a little bit backwards from most people but mind you my dad is like hey your uncle alan might have been the greatest athletes ever come out of annapolis and he's still you know working construction in the summers and he's teaching senior citizen health and uh coaching lacrosse at the community community college he's like you're never going to make a living doing what you love but any day that you can wake up and do what you love, it's worth everything.

So my whole goal was basically, hey, look, this isn't going to last forever.

So I'm going to wake up with that passion and we're going to go out.

And I've, to this day, always treated sport as

like just, and I switched a lot of times when turn down a paycheck for a motocross to go do freestyle, turn down a freestyle to go do rally, go spend all your money trying to turn left.

Not very good at NASCAR.

But, you know, it's, it's like, what do you wake up and what drives you kind of thing?

Yeah.

And what's really cool about that is just

I've always been kind of just all in for everything.

And it's, it's led me to here, here although we spent most of our money like just investing back in the sport yeah building ramps doing stupid stuff so it was never about like a vision that you had for this place it was like wake up every day follow your passion and then it just kind of grew naturally every step of the way 100%

and it's it's amazing like around here you know it takes a village and we have we have a very eclectic group you know welders, ramp builders, we got construction guys, we've got just about anything that you can imagine.

And everyone, you know, filmers, editors, and we've just got this group of friends now.

And it's so cool.

And the YouTube stuff, I always thought YouTubers were just stupid.

I was like, this is not you guys.

You guys are awesome.

We're not really YouTubers.

But now I realize that it's allowing me at 41 years old.

I'm still driving cars.

I'm still having fun.

And like, you get a company like Black Rifle.

And they're like, hey, dude, all we care about is let's bring some veterans, some first responders.

Let's make people's day.

Let's bring some guys from Walter Reed that have had some really crappy times, you know, fighting for our freedoms.

And we bring them over here and we just have a freaking blast and we have a platform to be able to do it with yeah i mean you could tell there's like a community here you have like guys all hanging out you said it's like i mean there's the over there there's uh you know bunk beds and guys are sleeping here before x games how many people are here like before x games training because this feels like ground zero for x games so if you're and now a scooter is coming in as well but like so nitro circus um you know we kind of started this basically where we started building bigger and bigger ramps and now X games is actually starting to adapt a lot of the stuff but you know with Olympics and everything with BMX and all that stuff so we are the big air of action sports right so if you want to do something huge you want a new ramp built you want to just test some designs we have everything from foam pits to airbags we designed all the landing bags that now pretty much every olympic training facility has in every country and it's pretty cool to be on that kind of front edge of i never thought i'd be the safety guy yeah but it's like okay we want to go a hundred feet above ground level and do three backflips how do we survive wait so are you saying that there is there's like anyone could come up here and be like hey travis i'm training for this i want to build this ramp there's no ramp too big that you would be like no way we can't do it

there's there's ability level like so everyone's like hey make sure you wear all your safety gear yes 100

but there's certain people that you could dress as the the michelin man and you're like

this is a bad idea i don't care what you're wearing there's certain people that you know you can go out there and like oh he was,

not that you do, he was riding without a helmet.

I'm like, if he's riding around, like, so it's, it's finding the, the people that are qualified for what they're doing.

And you get them around other people that are very qualified at what they do.

And you kind of come together with this, this eclectic group of mad scientists, ADHD, random, complete, like, hey, we tried this and this happened.

We tried that and that happened.

What if we do this, this, and this?

And when you get everyone together, some amazing things happen.

Yeah.

And

my greater point is it seems like in this world that you have created, this land you've created, Pastrana land, like no is not the answer.

It's all right, let's figure it out.

You know, like, let's do it safely, but you're not like, ah, no, we can't do that, which is such a cool ethos to have around here where everyone's like, no, let's figure it out.

So one of the next things that we're doing, it was really funny.

My buddy was at the bar.

He was just telling some random story about what he does.

And he's like, oh, yeah, we're freestyle tractor.

drivers and he goes to me he's like hey can have need uh nate wessel who's like kind of our main ramp guy he's he's like have him sketch something up for me real quick so now this is we're in utah it's i don't know 11 o'clock at night it's you know one o'clock in the morning back here on the east coast nate wakes up puts together a sketch little program sends it back over we completely forgot we had even said it but an hour later we got a sketch now we're actually going to backflip a tractor because the sketch was so good i was looking at it i'm going over this i'm like Yeah, no, it's not an answer.

This, this will work.

Yeah.

So it's, you just got to be careful what you ask for.

Because, you know, at the the beginning, I'd be like, hey, I want to do this.

And everyone's like, yeah, yeah.

Now I'm like, hey, I want to do this.

And I have overwhelming support.

Right.

So it's like,

I need someone to be like a check.

Yeah, yeah.

You need someone to be like, hey, maybe a bad idea.

I heard that there was a dude that came up here one time and he said, I've got a mind-blowing trick that no one's ever thought of.

And then you were like, well, okay, what's the trick?

And he's like, you got to pay me for the trick.

Does that work?

That's a great business model if it does work.

If you can just like come up with an idea and be like, Travis Pastrano will pay me for my brain.

I guarantee you that if it's possible, like if there's an idea out there, there's no way that someone hasn't had it before, and there's a reason that it's not being done, right?

I they're the best in the world from like in action sports and the brains that come together.

So, what was really interesting, we had a guy fly over from Europe, he was trying to on Instagram and on everything, he's hitting everybody up.

He ends up eventually getting onto the radio station here, like

98 Rock.

And they get all they're like, hey this guy flew in he wants to go to pastranoland the guy shows up my mom's house knocks on the door so my mom's like oh he's he's got this trick he wants to try i was like well bring him over so i flew in we set him all up we had everything that we wanted he's like oh it's gonna be so easy he's like i want the automatic front flip ramp we're like there it is hoss he's like that's that's just a curb at the top of a ramp i'm like he's like that looks like something i built in my backyard i'm like we did build it yeah right this is our backyard so he didn't do it but that's the

he tried Everyone's like, oh, 98 rock.

How'd it go?

I'm like, well, he almost got a front flip around.

Yeah.

Like, I thought he was going to do it.

I'm like, yeah, he did too.

I would just say, like, take any trick that you already do, but then light yourself on fire while you do it.

Yeah.

That's like the next level up for everything, right?

If you have to light yourself on fire, the trick's not cool enough to start with.

Okay.

My opinion.

It's a fair point.

What's the trick that like eluded you for the longest amount of time that you then hit?

So

there was a trick.

It's a backflip with a full twist.

So pretty simple.

Backflipping and then twisting.

You do a 360 and a backflip at the same time.

Okay.

Now,

on paper, on a bicycle, it's pretty cool.

Ridiculous.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So still today, I'm the only person that's ever landed that and it was to a mulch pile.

Doesn't even really count and I broke my foot in the process.

It's just, so the motorcycle does, first, if you pull as hard as you can backwards, you get a full flip to every half twist.

Okay.

So one of my snowboard buddies, he goes, hey, that looks like the start of a double cork 10.

I'm like, what?

He's like, you just got to go twice as high and twice as far.

Do the exact same thing you're doing.

And he goes, it'll come right around.

So we started doing it on bicycles, became the first one to do it.

I was the first one to land that trick, a double back flip with a full twist on a mountain bike.

And then the first person to land, only person still to land on a dirt bike, but the takeoff ramp had to be 35 foot tall.

So like, so he was right.

It was Trevor Jacob.

He went to, he ended up Olympian snowboarder, but it was, it's cool, like that mind.

He's like, well, you can't do this with that motorcycle.

It weighs too much to get the spin and you get the gyro.

But he goes, just, keep going.

Just go bigger.

Add another flip.

It'll be easier.

And he was so right.

I also love the rules that you have written downstairs.

There were two of them that jumped out to me.

Yeah.

And the rules are just, they're in either pencil or sharpie.

They're on like a piece of particle board down there.

And I think there's seven rules.

One of them was, don't break stuff, but if you do, have it be on camera.

No, no.

If you get it on camera,

I'll pay for it.

Yeah.

No problem.

You kind of do the same thing.

That's a great rule.

It's a great rule.

And I mean, hopefully not like, you know,

something to express.

But But you want it to be worth it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then my, I think by far my favorite rule was no sex in the phone pit.

And that seemed like a rule that might have been put in there because somebody did have sex in the phone pit one time.

Well.

So let's just say someone left something used

in there.

All right.

And it wasn't me, but someone was upside down in the phone pit.

And they just saw it.

And it was just right there and you're stuck and you can't move.

Oh, no.

And it was like, all right, look, this, we got to draw a line somewhere, guys.

No sex in the phone pit.

Wait, so when you were starting out, you won your first

gold at 15, right?

Yeah, 1999, right?

Yes, very nice.

But you also broke your spine when you were 15 years old.

What the?

How did you not quit?

Like,

your spine, I was listening to an interview.

You said your spine basically came out of your asshole.

For medically technically, yes, that's about what happened.

That seems like that hurts.

That seems like you should just chill out of it.

Your pelvis connects to your spine like uh like this and it just so the spine went straight down yeah

um so shattered my pelvis um i was the third known case not to basically bleed out after having both si joints dislocated

um woke up you know basically i didn't get knocked out but i kept passing out so it was good for me because i was it was my 15th birthday and i realized that i can only take so much pain so i have ex i have experienced as much pain as my mind will allow me to take and I'm still here.

And it was at 15 years old.

Yeah.

Well, I mean, I guess if you're tougher, you could probably experience more pain.

Yeah.

But my level of threshold.

So shitting out your spine is a pretty big amount of pain.

Right.

Yeah.

So every time I'd wake up, because they couldn't really figure out, they just thought it was shattered pelvis, but the spine was kind of in place when I was laying on the backboard.

But every time they tried to move me, it wasn't all the ligaments and stuff weren't, you know, everything that was attached wasn't attached.

So I just kept, every time I move, I pass out, move, pass out.

Hard moment for my mom, but right there was the moment that she always had my back.

But from, you know, she's basically crying.

I, you know, wake up, come out of surgery, everything's kind of fused in a wheelchair for the next couple months.

And I'm like, man, I hope they keep that jump.

I want to do it again.

And she just, she was crying, but she started laughing.

She's like, all right, the most pain you've ever been in.

You're lucky to be alive, almost bled out, six blood transfusions.

And you're still, the first thing that you think of is not, will I be able to walk again, but when can I get back on the bike to that jump?

And she kind of laughs.

She's like, all right, so you really love this.

Yeah.

You're just built different.

Like most people would, would run away from that pain.

You're like, I want to conquer.

Did you go back and conquer that jump?

No, they took the jump down.

Oh.

Thank God.

I really want to do it anyway.

Wait, so how much blood did you lose?

So they said I lost a third of my blood volume over,

you know, a couple of days.

Holy fuck, man.

And I know you've had a bunch of injuries almost to like every part of your body.

Are you getting so used to being hurt that you can tell exactly what's wrong?

Like that's an ACL, like immediately.

So, well,

I didn't have ACR or PCL for about 15 years and then I got a knee replacement.

So that kind of makes sense.

But so I landed, I was doing a base jump for the start of this Jim Conner video we were doing.

And I should have just, I went, I'm not a great bass jumper.

I'm not a great cannabity flyer, but it was kind of a layup.

I feel like there's only two kinds of base jumpers, right?

The good and then alive and dead.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I hit that middle ground a couple of times.

So this one, I was, I kind of hooked turned it in a little bit too low.

I was trying to land next to my car.

I should have just.

gone downwind, but I was trying to be cool.

I was like, I don't know if I get to jump out of this hotel again because we got the car all set up, like everything's there.

And I hooked, turned it in, and I landed.

And my dad always said, hey, get up because it always feels like you're broken, but you don't know until you got it.

I got up and I felt everything, like my whole, everything crumbled.

My pelvis just, so I hit the ground and my stomach started getting super warm.

And I had felt that before from the other time we were just talking about.

And I was like, oh, I'm bleeding out.

So the medic came over.

And they're like, are you okay?

I'm like, I'm fine, but I shattered my pelvis and I'm bleeding out.

And they kind of laughed and I was like no no no like I'm good So I called and called my wife on the way because she didn't know I was base I forgot to mention it She really not a huge fan of base jumping and I was like yeah, so no big deal You know, I shattered my pelvis and the person's like the doctors will tell you what you did So it was funny because when I woke up after like two surgeries later and had everything like basically fused back together and had a

The worst part was a torn urethra.

Not not not ideal.

But long story long on this one.

So the lady came back in, the EMT or whatever that was there.

She goes, you were right.

You shattered your pelvis.

You were bleeding out, had five blood noses.

Yes.

But she goes, you also got your tailbone from top to bottom and you broke your back and you tore your urethra.

So I was like, well, so I missed a couple.

Yeah.

I mean, but in your defense, like in a moment like that, you're probably only feeling the part of your body that's in the most pain, right?

So not to get off on another tangent, but I like tangents.

Yeah.

It was

what a podcast was for.

My kid during COVID was

six years old, and she was riding a sled down the stairs, as you would.

And

the sled turned, she caught her foot on the way down, like basically faceplan at the bottom and grabbed her foot right away.

I was like, ah, she broke her foot.

And my wife was kind of, she's like, no, she landed on her head.

I'm like, if you land on your head and you grab any other part of your body,

that's the part.

You only feel what's broken or what's the worst.

Yeah.

Yeah.

When was that?

How old were you?

No, no, the

pelvis again.

So that was yeah, so that was uh two years ago, almost three years ago now.

And what was the rehab like?

So that was the first time.

So I had a basically a tube in my bladder

for being for lack of better.

So I was back in a race car in six weeks after that and still had some issues, but that was the first time in my life that I realized I was getting old because Instead of thinking I got to win, I was thinking, don't hit anything.

And then

I got a new knee.

I got a new hip, stem cells in the shoulder, started on just some peptides that just helped with some tennis obo.

Like I was at rock bottom.

I couldn't sleep.

I couldn't compete to the level I wanted to because all I was thinking about was just not getting hurt.

And I feel like when you're hurt, it's the hardest time.

And I took the last year to really get myself, I still, you know, I eat too much, I drink too much, I don't work out probably enough, but I'm able to get to the gym every single day, able to get things moving.

I'm able to sleep through the night and not to be that guy, but dude, when you can't, when you're hurt too much to sleep through the night and you're hurt too much to actually work out, like life changes.

Not only not competitive, but just like mood and everything.

Like I need to be active.

I need to be pushing myself.

I need to be out there.

And it's, it was, you know, everyone says, how do you do it?

And my, you know, my uncle was playing for Denver.

He said, look, the day you stop moving is the day you die.

Yeah.

So how are you feeling right now?

Like walking around day to day?

I feel the knee replacement, it's not a perfect knee.

Like it's, you still notice it, but I can sleep through the night, doesn't ache or anything stupid.

The hip, dude, best surgery.

Six weeks after getting hip replacement, I was back, I was doing backlash on dirt bikes.

Yes.

They've really mastered that.

Or you can walk out of the hospital.

Yeah.

Get a hip replacement.

Well, and the knee too, but the knee just, the pain on that one was

bad for me.

How cool is it to know, like, you, because you were talking at the beginning, like your dad telling you, like, hey, you can do this, but you might always end up back in construction.

And like, you know, this might not be a life that you can make a lot of money, but you actually did make a lot of money.

And you were also like the start of it.

Is that cool to be like, X Games didn't exist for 10-year-old Travis, right?

And then you almost are at the beginning of all that and that wave.

Do you feel like pride in how it's all come along?

Because you're a pioneer, really.

No, I mean, it's been fun.

You know, everyone, there's a lot of different ways to look at it, but I'm just very fortunate to be this kid, to still feel like this kid that's living my dream, that gets to go out every day and think of fun things to do with my friends.

And it just gets the cars get faster, the jumps get bigger.

But at the same, it's basically just playing in the sandbox when you're like the little, you know, little toy cars trying to jump them, except you're now in the cars.

Yeah.

Freaking awesome.

Yeah.

Is there a stunt or a trick that you've done that has brought you the most joy, like the biggest rush?

I think.

So I was already, I I was well over my career and I really wanted to do that trick though.

So that unicorn trick, it was the backflip 360 and then it got in my head for like four years.

And I started working on mountain bikes and everything.

And now this is, so we're in my backyard.

I spent, so Nitro Circus, they're like, here's the budget, what we think we can do on this.

Basically, we're just, you know, DVD for lack of, it's, you know, we can make $400,000 on this.

That's.

If it's good, if it's bad, like it's going to be, like, that's just our, our audience.

Yeah.

So I spent 1.2 million building ramps for my buddy Shee-han to do a triple backflip, for another guy to do a quadruple backflip on a BMX bike.

And I just, I just wanted to see this.

I wanted to see progression with stuff that we had been talking about for a while.

So we spent two years.

And then that ramp where Shee-han was doing the triple backflip.

I'm like, that's enough air.

That's that.

I can do it.

So we did all of our filming, got everyone else done.

And it's just about the end of the, like it's sun setting, already tired, already exhausted.

And the ramp was set up.

And I was like, it's never going to be a more perfect time.

And I go out there, my wife's just shaking her head.

She's like, look, you literally are paying to hurt yourself.

Yeah.

There's, there's 15 of us here.

No one wants you to do this.

There's not one good reason.

There's not one financial,

like, you're old.

Just, and I just, I remember, so I, I, I hate telling the story, but it's been out there.

So I'm going to tell it again.

So the first time, so I tried it and I kind of bailed out halfway through.

I got lost.

I got scared.

You got the twisties.

I got the twisties.

I mean,

yeah.

On that, there's three steps you got to take.

And on step two, I said, oh, shit.

And forgot step three completely.

I was like, I'm way too high.

So, so I landed and I didn't knock myself out.

But somehow, when I opened my, I just closed my eyes for a second.

When I opened them, someone had shit in my pants

and all my friends were right there.

And my wife is shaking her head.

She's like, are you done now?

Can we just, can you go home?

And I'm like, nope, I got to do it.

And she's like, like well you're gonna go change i'm like if i go up there to change i i'm getting that hot tub yeah and i'm never doing this trick yeah so i ended up uh i crashed two more times on that and i was able to not somehow not break myself off in that the snowboarder trevor jacob he goes everyone else like it won't work it won't work it won't work and trevor goes it'll work but you have to go no look he goes you keep trying to spot your landing halfway through you're stopping everything he goes it's a 250 pound machine you got gyro you got everything he goes go blind the whole time He goes, if you're not willing to do that, like just stop now.

And I came down.

I've never like come at a ramp before and gone around it.

I went around it like four times.

Yeah.

Whole pant full of poop.

Just like

everyone just like, don't do it.

And you're just, so those are those moments that you're like, okay,

why?

Do I ride a dirt bike?

Do I ride a dirt bike to get paid?

Do I ride a dirt bike for fame or pride?

Or do I ride to see if I have what it takes to do what I believe can be done?

And that was a moment that was really cool for me.

You landed it with shit in your pants.

Yeah.

And then you broke it.

And you broke your leg on the last one or no?

No, no.

That one, you're good.

No, no, that was the, we tried without the second one.

Got it.

Got it.

Got it.

That's so sick.

Yeah.

Sorry.

No, I mean, that's a great story story.

No, no, it's a great story.

I've never heard it before.

Okay, good.

Yeah, so it was good.

Yeah, that's, I mean, and to do it, like, I don't know, you're just a badass, dude.

I actually saw Wait.

I saw, I was watching a YouTube video of Pastrana Land the other day, and I saw a comment that I got to read to you that I thought was so perfect.

Travis Pastrana, the most well-adjusted, insane person out there.

Feel like that sums you up perfectly.

I like it.

You're well-adjusted insane person.

Yeah, yeah.

I just saw the comment.

I was like, that pretty much sums him up.

Yeah.

So my all-time hero, Matt Huffman, like this is a guy before there was any money, before any first one to do a 900.

He he tore his like blew out his knee and he needed to be ready because he had like video game deal and everything.

He was retired at the time, coming back out and he wanted to do a no-handed 900.

He's like, this is the last chance I have.

So he goes up to Canada.

He does full ACL.

Like they hook all this stuff together.

No anesthesia because he couldn't legally do that procedure or whatever.

Somehow bylaws getting around it.

He competes like five days after get his whole knee redone.

No way.

He does it, lands a no-handed 900 income.

Didn't win.

He got second to Mira.

But like this guy, and so we were out base jumping one day and everyone else is getting close to the edge.

And he's like, no, I got to have my rig on first.

I'm like, you afraid of heights?

He's like, no, I'm just afraid I'm going to jump.

I was like, wow, that's, yeah,

the calling of the void, right?

You see that out there?

I might as well go leap.

That's insane, though, that he had surgery with no anesthesia.

Yeah.

His body.

Like, that's civil war shit.

Like, here's a stick you can do.

He goes, Yeah, he goes, I wouldn't do it again.

But so, for some reason, the law was if you get, you can't get put under for any of these procedures.

But there was nothing that said you couldn't because no one's well that tough.

Yeah,

it's not really

thought.

Yeah.

Damn.

so what's next for you guys here what are you working on right now

um honestly i've just i'm home about two to three days a week um which you know it's good when i'm home i can be home i can be with family but a lot of that time we're still you know we're still doing stuff or we're building up for whatever's coming my goal is to kind of cut down on on the sponsor i still love race and rally i i need that competitive spirit i need to see who's the best and when i don't have that i i take that in different directions i become competitive with my wife and that's not that's not a good thing to do.

So, you know, we stay in our own lane.

She's action sports too.

But, you know, she's got the she-shed on top of the hill.

I got the man cave on the bottom of the hill, and we can kind of come together in the evenings.

It's a fucking awesome place.

What do the neighbors think of this place?

Most of the neighbors are part of it.

Like, you've seen just about everyone, like Danger, and all the guys.

Like, they're all yeah, by the way, but we, you glossed over that.

There's a guy in Pastranoland who walked by us, and Travis is like, What's up, Danger?

And I was like, How do you get that nickname here?

Like, he's got to be the most badass guy out here.

So, as short as story that I can make, I didn't, I'm kind of a no-new friends guy.

Like, I've got all my, like, I travel when I come home.

I'm a homebody.

We just, we get to work here or work, play, whatever you call it.

Um, and my wife, you know, she likes to socialize and kids are getting in school and stuff.

And a guy, a couple doors down, we hadn't met.

He's across the road, so not our property that we really need.

He had five kids.

A couple of them, our daughter's age.

His wife, they had goats and chickens, you know, fresh eggs, all this stuff.

And we go, go we call uh we go quad riding and now once a year like we get the group together and we're gonna go until the sun comes up and there may be beverages involved in it you don't want to take people that aren't really really good at what they do and put them into this environment my wife's like oh just take jason no he would love to go he could really use an out i'm like

so we put uh Caleb Moore, who's an X Games gold medalist, in the pasture seat.

So he brings his Ranger down.

And so I just, first hill, I'm like, I'm just going to lose this guy real quick and just drop off a cliff.

He gets stuck on the cliff.

It's teeter-totter.

He's like, hey, guys.

And he had a handle of water that he was also drinking.

And so a couple of the guys pushed his ranger off the cliff, goes down the thing, hits the stream at the bottom.

I thought he was going to hit the brace, get stuck in the stream, hits the stream, jumps up, front end comes up, hits a tree.

Hubert, who you met today.

Yeah, yeah.

The tree comes down, knocks Hubert off his four-wheel.

He's like, I didn't spill.

And I was like, dude, danger ranger was

That's danger.

That's danger.

You guys ever think about getting a plane out here and just doing like plane jumping and shit?

That might be next up.

I don't, we got too many trees.

You got a lot of trees.

There's a lot of trees.

When we were jumping those cars, yeah, a lot of trees.

Natural enemy of planes.

Yeah.

Yeah, trees.

All right.

I got a couple of last questions for you.

This has been awesome and so thankful that you let us come here.

Thanks for coming.

Thanks for trusting me.

Thanks for having me.

How sick are the jackass guys?

Dude, so much fun, but we had to make a rule when we were around them that if you come up with an idea, you have to be willing to do it first.

Yep.

That's a good rule.

So we were all hurt.

We were at the end of season one.

Johnny Knoxville, dude, just whenever someone on our crew gets hurt, he's the first one to call.

Like, he's like, dude, dude, good, good human being.

But yeah, so he's on and he's like, hey, we need to finish up this final episode.

I'm like, dude, we're like, we're broken.

He's like, well, we can take like three or four days.

I'm like, three or four, like, we're broken.

He goes, all right, we're going to get get a bull.

I'm like, no, like, we're broken.

He goes, yeah, you don't have to do anything with a bull.

I was like, well, he's like, yeah.

I'm like, Johnny, if the bull hits us, we get hit by the bull.

If it doesn't hit us, we can't use the footage.

He goes, yeah, win, win.

Here we go.

And we were too afraid to get out of there.

Jolene tried to go and she got, she ended up with a broken hip from a buttercup.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They were riding tandem on it and the bull and the rider both fell on Jolene.

She She did good.

She's tough.

So then it was just Knoxville.

So he goes out there.

The guys were like, hey, this bull, if you run as fast as you can, it always, it doesn't hook you.

It'll go straight.

So when you feel something, you go put your hand behind your butt.

When you feel it hit, you go lean back.

Knoxville got, he went two stories in the air.

He had no air awareness at all.

If he did, he would have landed on his feet and prior.

He landed on his feet and then his face, and then the bull came back after him.

But it was great footage.

Yeah.

Win-win, Johnny.

Those guys, I mean, I've respected that about him.

It seems like he does the most dangerous stunts in the jackass.

So Knoxville knows what needs to happen for the clip to be successful.

He's extremely intelligent and he'll sit on the sidelines until he realizes that the skit needs something else.

And it's scary because it might be bees.

Yeah.

It might be a bear.

It might be

pink ball gonzie.

You never know what is going to like.

I've never experienced more pain.

So first time we met Knoxville, it was a tribute to Evil Knievel.

Knoxville's a huge Evil Knievel fan.

He's like, I want to do a backflip.

Like, all right, blah, blah, blah.

Like, just don't let the bike go in the air.

And that's what we're going to find out later if you guys want to try.

Yeah.

So I was like, the bike can come back and hit you.

Well, Knoxville, we had to jump, push, start him because he didn't know how to use a clutch.

No, I'm not playing like the world's worst bike rider.

So, second gear pinned, he hits the takeoff, blows off the back of the bike.

Bike goes straight up, lands on his back.

He's okay, but the bike comes down, hits him in the taint, tears his urethra.

Oh,

so he's got a catheter for the next six months we're on a public flight this is a southwest flight right i'm sleeping mouth wide open he has a catheter and bags fly free bags fly free yes no but he's got a catheter so he's like four seats behind me he has a catheter long enough to reach me and has only knoxville could get away with this he's got people holding the catheter up and he's got it aimed straight for my face

and on a southwest flight he uses his catheter and pisses on me before CC.

No, no video of it.

No, no, this was before this was

clapping.

I was like, that's great.

A hypothetical.

That's back when Southwest was a real airline.

Oh, that changed everything.

That's awesome.

Yeah, I mean, Jackass, like, we've always said it's, it's basically the, the, it's, it's male friendship distilled into a video.

And it's obviously chaos, but like at the core of it, it's these guys just being like, no, you do this, no, you do this, just egging each other on.

I think that's why it was so successful.

And you can, you can see that friendship and the camaraderie and the willingness.

The guys are actually, I mean, some of the guys were smarter than others, but like Knoxville was a good human, a good friend, and someone that, yeah, I mean, they all knew what they were in for.

And a lot of them got busted up really bad, but they were super successful because of that friendship.

And that's a lot of what we try to create around here.

It's just like, that's what Nitro Circus was really born.

And he helped us kind of define like what that is.

What was the insurance like on Nitro Circus?

That's why we went to Panama a lot.

Fantastic.

Six pack of beer.

Can we set a blob up at the top of your skyscraper?

No problem.

Take hell later.

All right.

I have one last question.

It's a roback question.

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We did a video with you 10 years ago.

Do you remember it at all?

It was the worst video.

I actually would say, I would argue it's probably the worst video that you've ever been part of.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

No, no, no.

Not your fault.

Our fault.

We did.

It was bar it was i remember too oh what's up dogs doggy dogs love it dogs showing up

no no no the uh wifey i remember at the time it was it was like a big deal for us because this is barstool and we're not you know we weren't big at the time and i think we had some ad deal i think it was something around nitro circus where it's like travis pastron is going to do a video with you you guys come up with the video he'll do it with you Our video was like a tricycle race in New York on a basketball court.

It was so bad.

Do you remember it all or did you try to erase it from your memory?

I vaguely.

Okay, yeah.

I'm not joking.

It was like we were so stupid thinking it was going to be sick.

And like everything you've described to me, everything I know about you.

Thank you for entertaining us for an hour because I'm sorry.

I want to apologize for it.

And we showed up in costumes.

Did you guys do great?

No, we did not do great.

It was so bad.

We had one guy, Nate, he showed up in like a pajama costume.

It's an all-time picture from it.

But but yeah, I don't know.

I didn't know if you remembered it all.

I think you erased it from your memory.

It's good, good.

I really, I like, I remember meeting you guys.

Yeah.

I don't.

Yeah.

I'm happy you don't remember it.

No, no, no.

I'm happy you don't remember it.

Yeah, well, dude, it was so bad.

I mean, I feel like we might have made up for it today when you took us around the track.

Yeah.

Sent us up the jumps.

How would you say Zach did?

Zach, where's Zach?

Oh, he's Zach.

He's getting ready for it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Who did the best?

You know, all of you didn't, like, I think you guys all had a similar mindset where you're like, you didn't really want to get in.

Yeah.

But as soon as you committed to getting in, you're like, all right, like, this is like, we're in.

So, like, nobody was, it seemed like everyone had a good time.

No one was like, I'm a horrible passenger.

I can't do it.

But I think he had the best.

Zach didn't know where to put his hands because

I was trying hard not to laugh.

It was like a Ricky Bobby moment.

Yeah.

Like, cause he, every, I was like, is he like going on a roller coaster?

Does he have his hands in the air?

You can grab.

I was just worried that if we had like a, like, kind of a, his hands were going to like smack the walls or something or

heaven forbid, like,

I don't roll with people in the car unless it's a co-driver and we're going for a win, but there's always stuff that can happen.

Yeah, yeah, of course.

I was just telling myself, like, if there's one person that's driving me that I would want drive me in the entire world, it's probably you.

Yes.

You're probably the safest guy.

Well, I appreciate that.

You see, I've got a reputation for crashing, but I'm in stuff all the time.

And yes, if there is someone faster than me, I am I'm convinced that I'm the best driver in the world.

If someone's going faster, I'm going to like, obviously, I could could just do it.

And that's usually not the case.

Yeah.

So I have a reputation for crashing, but there's no one here today that's going to go faster.

So you guys should be safe.

Okay.

Nice.

Nice.

Well, they don't talk about all the times you don't crash.

Well, to be fair, like I've got one of the best track records, but there's always a camera going.

And on a dirt bike, dude,

you can always make up time.

Like if you, there's a whoop section right there.

I'm going to shift another gear.

I'm going to wheelie as far as this bike will go.

And it's going to set down somewhere and it's going to spring up and I'll probably get to the other side.

Now, you can make up like two seconds, like the whole field separated by a half second.

I can make up two seconds right there.

I could be a second slower than everyone else and still win this thing by 15.

Like, go.

So it's that calculated risk.

Now, when I went into a rally, I had a co-driver.

That co-driver had a wife, you know, two kids.

And he's like, look, I'm an accountant.

He goes, I do rally.

He goes,

I'm going to retire at 50 years old with 50 million in the bank.

He goes, I am the collegiate Quiz Bowl national champion.

I am a genius.

I am getting in this car because we always say this is a life or death deal.

He goes, it's bullshit.

He goes, winning and losing.

He goes, numbers doesn't matter.

He goes, I rally to win, but you have to understand that you have to listen to me.

And if at any time you're driving over your head, he goes, I'm going to shut it down.

If you don't listen, I will not be your co-driver anymore.

And he taught me so much about, he's like, on this day, I'm like, we're in fifth.

He's like, I don't care.

This is as fast as you can drive.

Right.

I can tell right now we almost went off that cliff.

We almost hit that tree.

He's like, you have to slow down.

I'm like, but they're going faster.

He's like, and we'll learn and we'll live to fight another day.

But if we crash today, we're, we're screwed.

Yeah.

And I know that seems really simple and self-explanatory, but there's nothing common about sense.

And it took someone sitting in that passenger seat that was kind of my like,

you know, just reining in.

There's certain days you're just not going to be the best.

There's certain conditions that you're not going to be there.

And on a dirt bike by myself with devil on both shoulders, I was like, I got this.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, well, Travis, thank you, man.

This has been awesome.

We appreciate it.

You're the best.

I mean, you're one of the coolest guys.

Thank you.

You're a legend.

You're one of the coolest guys.

You're grit personified.

And this place is a dream.

So congrats on all your success.

Dude, thank you for the time, guys.

Really appreciate it.

Let's do it.

We're doing a flip, right?

Yeah, we're doing a flip.

Let's do a flip.

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All right, let's wrap up the show.

We can just do for the Monday reading, I can just read you a headline that I bookmarked over the weekend because I saw it.

It is

from our good friends in China.

China.

Let me find it.

I'm going to find it.

I'm going to find it.

Say something, Zach.

We got a...

What'd you do this weekend, Zach?

This weekend, I did a trip out to Target.

Made a nice little journey out there.

On the way back, I found there's a 7-Eleven around the corner.

Grabbed a Slurpee.

It was just hot enough for the perfect Slurpee.

Like, Slurpee made it just to the front door of my apartment complex.

The timing couldn't have been better.

It was so good.

So, did you get a trash can?

I did not get a trash can, no.

Okay.

All right, what'd you get?

I got some socks and a steak.

That's a great trip to Target.

You go to prison?

No, but it was a great day.

That's awesome.

Fresh socks, good protein.

That's a prison birthday.

Yeah.

I might have had one of those.

New socks and steak is definitely what you get for your birthday in prison.

Fun fact about Shane's.

It was a great birthday weekend.

Speaking of Slurpees, Shane got three Slurpees on Saturday at three different points in the day.

What?

Yeah.

I did, yeah.

Why?

He did trip Slurpee.

I hadn't had a Slurpee in like 10 plus years, and for some reason, I was just.

Wait.

What flavors?

So I got

first Slurpee was at the movies.

I got an Icy, a blue raspberry icy, which I hadn't had in forever.

That was great.

Solid.

What movies did you see?

Weapons.

Okay.

Then right after,

I needed to get like a toothbrush or something, so I pulled in 7-Eleven, and I saw the Slurpee machine.

You're like, damn.

I got,

it was a Mountain Dew, like pineapple.

Okay.

Slurpee.

And that was also awesome.

And then I got...

A watermelon margarita, like a frozen marg.

So that's basically a slurpee.

It's a slurpee, yeah.

And then I got like a snow cone on the beach.

So that's really cool.

How cold was your tummy?

I don't know.

Pretty cold.

Must have been really cold.

Did you look at what color your shit was?

I noticed, yeah.

What color was it?

It's pretty fluorescent.

Do they know you at Target?

Oh, no.

No.

But you're getting close.

Every weekend, you're like, I'm like, what'd you do?

You're like, I went to Target.

I'm a self-checkout guy.

So

you don't have to.

There's no interactions, really.

What kind kind of steak?

Not the strip, not the filet, but the...

Ribeye?

Yes.

You had a ribeye?

That was a one.

Cooked it up in a pan?

I did, yeah, cast iron pan.

Smoky?

Unfortunately, yeah, so much smoke.

So much smoke.

So now my entire apartment does smell like steak, but it's a fire alarm going.

Including your bed?

Does your bed smell like steak?

I had to wash the sheets.

Okay.

Yeah.

Did you go to Target in your pajamas?

No.

No pajamas at Target.

I did look at the, I did, I happened to be in the aisle checking out some others, but didn't come up with any.

Some formal ones in case you have to go in the hallway again.

Yeah.

I'm going to start going in the hallway in khakis and a pleasing shit.

You're going to dress up for the hallway.

Yeah.

All right.

Here's the headline.

Stressed adults rely on pacifiers to soothe themselves.

I feel a sense of safety from childhood.

It's a, I guess, a new trend that a bunch of adults are using pacifiers.

Can we play a game?

Yeah.

A game called Guess the Publication that wrote that headline?

Yeah.

This feels like a New York Post.

Of course.

Okay, yeah, New York Post.

So it's like one guy.

I think it's like people in China.

Really?

That's a drug thing.

Oh, yeah, it is a Molly.

They're sold as sleep aids.

Some online sellers move thousands each month according to South.

Oh, so maybe it's actually America, but they're obviously making them in China.

That's good.

When I'm under pressure at work, I feel a sense of safety from childhood, one Chinese buyer said.

So maybe it is China.

a doctor in

Sichuan yeah the trend isn't staying swaddled in China either TikTok is sucking it up literally with videos of American adults pacifying themselves in traffic at work or in the throes of a burnout whatever happened to just sucking your thumb yeah

also this has got to fuck up your teeth doesn't it whatever happened to just cussing yeah it's being like fuck

or what about just uh what about a what about some gum what happened to gum yeah i feel like this is one of those trends where it's mostly from people on TikTok that are doing it as a joke for the TikTok views.

And then

you can't do that.

Because the headline is like, fucking millennials, they're sucking on pacifiers.

Yeah.

Or how about be a badass and put in a mouth guard?

How about just getting into a fight when you're frustrated instead of sucking on a pacifier?

Get your shit rocked.

How about just taking it out on your wife and children?

Back when America was awesome.

Oh, man.

Yeah, so pacifiers.

They're the hot thing in the street.

Okay.

Good show, boys.

Great show.

We're going to be

inter-invitational this week.

Can't wait.

That won't come out for a while, but PFT, we're excited to go down there.

Can't wait.

I'm excited.

Been working on the game.

What is it about golf that when you really work on one part of your game and you get good at that, the other parts that used to be good just completely fall apart?

I wouldn't know because I've never gotten one part good.

What's up with that, Hank?

Kind of in the same boat.

I'm just pretty bad at most parts.

That's such a lie.

You're a good golfer.

You beat me off camera last week.

You shoot in the 80s.

Not that often.

Oh.

No, you're.

I haven't gotten that.

Hank is pretty good now.

Yeah.

Come on, Hank.

Is it a panic move to switch putters like two days before?

No, I love that.

The big golf tournament.

I love that move.

Because I made the move.

I switched putters.

Here's the thing, PFT.

You got to think about headlines.

I switched putters, yes.

The headline of if you win this tournament, new putters.

What happened?

I switched putters.

It's going to be, oh, he actually switched to putter.

Yeah.

Even though his coach was upset at him.

I'm so much better with this other putter, Hank.

So much better.

Got no feel with the new one.

I'm a feel guy.

Come on, Hank.

You know he's good at this new putter.

It's a mental game.

It's about confidence, right?

Yep.

It's about confidence.

I'm more confident in this putter.

Now, if I can just work everything else out, I'll be in a good spot.

Yeah.

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Okay, numbers.

Three.

You're so proud of yourself.

Fuck yeah.

67.

What number is Justin Fields?

7.

He's 7 with the Jets?

All right, I'll go 7.

I like 85.

It's a good number.

99 Poke.

44.

Nose Jack.

17.

That was Slurpee Boy.

Slurps.

Congrats on your Chargers, memes.

All right.

Thank you.

Shane.

Shane's Chargers 2-0.

Hank, what'd you have?

22.

What'd you have?

31.

53.

53.

There's a three in there.

Whatever.

There's a three in there.

Love you guys.

One day.

You two.

No, ever.

Never.

Not gonna happen, James.

Give up.

It's been so long.

Yeah.