Von Miller, Eagles GM Howie Roseman, Mt Rushmore Of Dream Blunt Rotation, Football Is Back + Zac's All Time Fyre Fest

Hey, pardon my take listeners.

You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.

Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

Why choose a sleep number smart bed?

Can I make my site softer?

Can I make my site firmer?

Can we sleep cooler?

Sleep number does that, cools up to eight times faster, and lets you choose your ideal comfort on either side, your sleep number setting.

It's the sleep number biggest sale of the year.

All beds on sale, up to 50% off the limited edition smart bed, limited time.

All sleep number smart beds offer temperature solutions for your best sleep.

Check it out at a sleep number store or sleepnumber.com today.

On today's part of my take, we've got a two-fer for the people we have.

Eagles GM Howie Roseman, awesome interview with him.

sit down talk about how to build the team we haven't you know we've interviewed brandon bean ryan poles not a ton of gms this was a really good one and then we have our good friend recurring guest, Vaughn Miller from the Washington Commanders.

That is the, actually, no, it's not the end of our great week interviews because we have Travis Pestrana coming on Monday.

We also have the Mount Rushmore of Dream Blunt rotation.

We're going to talk a little football because we had some preseason games, smelling salts.

We had another dildo hit the floor in the WNBA.

We have Fire Fest.

And it's all brought to you by our friends at DraftKings.

The dog days of summer means it's time for the boys of summer to kick it into into gear.

And the best way to cash in on your baseball IQ is with DraftKings Sportsbook.

As the stretch drive begins, DraftKings Sportsbook has you covered with live betting, home run props, odd boosts, and more.

Whether you're chasing dingers or jumping in mid-game, there's always action to be had.

Never been on baseball before?

It's simple.

Pick a guy to go yard, hammer some live odds mid-game, or just ride with your squad and hope for the best.

No spreadsheets, just vibes and dingers.

Here's something special for first-timers, new DraftKings customers.

Bet $5, get $200 in bonus bets instantly.

Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app.

Use code TAKE.

That's code TAKE for new customers to get $200 in bonus bets instantly when you bet just $5 only on DraftKings.

The crown is yours.

Gambling problem?

Call 1-800-GABBLER.

In New York, call 877-8 Hope and Wy or text Hope and Wynn 467-369.

In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling.

Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org.

Please play responsibly on behalf of Booth Hill Casino in Resorting, Kansas.

21 and over.

Age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction.

Boyden, Ontario.

Bonus bets expire seven days after issuance.

For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see dkng.co/slash audio.

Okay, let's go.

barn and my tank.

Yeah,

barn and my tank.

Welcome to part of my take presented by DraftKings.

Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code TAKE.

That's code TAKE for new customers to get $200 in bonus bets instantly when you bet just five bucks only on DraftKings.

The crown is yours.

Today is Friday, August 8th.

And in the words of my good friend at Zach Cornelius underscore, football is back.

Our boys That's the first time I heard say it.

Yes.

Yes.

Hard knocks got hard knocked, and we had some preseason football.

Thursday was exciting.

We got to see a quarterback battle for the ages between AR-15 and Daniel Jones and Indy.

It lasted just a couple plays until AR-15 broke his trigger finger.

Yes, yes, that was bad.

By the way,

I know this sounds lame, but like it did kind of, like my heart got bigger.

I was like the Grinch when the heart gets bigger when I saw Zach tweet football is back.

It's like he's one of us now.

He's finally

everyone except one of us on this show right now is football is back guy.

There's only one of us out,

one outlier who mocks the football is back.

You know what that was?

That was his welcome to the NFL moment.

What are you looking for, Hank?

What?

Sorry.

There's something going on behind me.

You're just looking around?

Yeah.

That was welcome to the NFL moment.

So, all right, we're on Zoom for the start of the show and for firefest we did in studio for mount rushmore and obviously our interviews uh yeah we have we have some football to talk about uh the only thing i really noted was i know obviously you shouldn't take a lot out of the preseason games but the bengals finally learning from all their like really bad starts and being like hey maybe we should have joe burrows start in these preseason games smart by them and trey hendrickson just saw dollar bills uh all night because tanner mckee looked awesome and uh the Bengals are going to probably want to have to sign Trey Hendrickson.

You kind of glossed over the fact that Tanner McKee looked awesome, though.

He did.

Really, really good.

Tanner McKee is that dude, I could see him starting in the NFL.

Yeah.

I love this part of the season when we just get excited about guys that are like, if they actually had to play week one, it would be an abject failure.

But during, you know.

Trey Lance, Tanner McGee, McKee, like these are guys that we can get excited about in August.

Max is right.

No, Max is right.

Tanner McKee, I would not be dismayed to see him starting week one.

No, no, I'm not saying dismayed.

I'm saying he would not be good.

Disagree.

Okay.

Yeah, Joe Milton.

Joe Milton.

Cowboys fans are doing the entire Joe Milton threw a ball really, really far.

And Cowboy fans are now saying that Joe Milton is going to be the heir apparent.

Like, I actually saw someone.

Honestly say this is the first time Dak has had pressure on him with a backup in the last 10 years.

And it's just like, okay, I guess if Joe Milton's pressure, sure.

He is pressure.

Joe Milton is the definition of pressure.

I don't know if you saw the interview that he did.

He was riding in a golf cart, and the woman that was interviewing him said, So, Joe, obviously, you threw an orange over 100 yards.

That's how she lit off the interview, which is awesome.

Yes.

And then she says, What's the farthest thing that you've ever thrown?

He said, It's probably a golf ball.

I was at top golf.

I threw a golf ball, and it basically hit the back net, which is 225 yards.

Jesus.

So actually, Big T, because he's my Joe Milton conciliary, having been like the original survivor of the Joe Milton experience in Tennessee.

He's the original, but he did, he did, he did survive Joe Milton.

I actually remember talking to Big T when Joe Milton went to Tennessee.

I was like, he's not going to be good.

And he thought that he was going to be good.

We all know what we're signing up for for Joe Milton, but I feel like he might have taken that next step.

But Big T actually ran the numbers on this for me.

He said,

let's see, to throw a golf ball 200 yards, you'd have to throw it 95 miles per hour at the ideal launch angle.

So Joe Milton threw a golf ball 95.

I honestly think if you can throw a golf ball 200 yards, you could probably break 90 on a golf course just throwing the ball.

Yeah, definitely.

Like he might be.

That's not even a hot take.

No, what would that put you at?

Probably like around 80.

You could probably break 80, maybe.

He wants to grandpa golf with your arm.

Yeah, if you just throw right in the middle every time.

I mean, the putting would, we saw what could happen with the putting could be a challenge.

And accuracy around the greens could be a challenge.

Him one-on-one with Tony Romo, where he just throws the ball, would be a match I would watch.

But yeah, Max, I'm with you, man.

I would even say the Eagles should think about starting Tanner.

That's wrong, but Tanner McKee has already played the Cowboys, and he's already beaten the Cowboys.

So if he were to play week one against the Cowboys, we've already seen a sample size of him winning that football game.

Okay, so he would be fine.

Would you feel good if Tanner McKee was starting the entire season?

Okay, I rest my kiss.

Would you feel good if Tanner McKee was starting week one against Joe Milton on the Cowboys?

Joe Milton.

You know, I'm a big Joe Milton.

I know.

I love that.

And it sucks that the two biggest Joe Milton guys on this podcast are the two biggest Cowboy haters.

It's such bullshit that he's on the Cowboys.

But Joe Milton

is absolutely slinging it.

He should be a starting quarterback in the NFL.

He should be on the Dolphins.

Tyreek would instantly be happy.

He would be awesome.

Tyreek, you just run straight.

Let Joe throw the ball as far as he possibly can every single play.

I mean, whenever someone talks about Joe Milton,

it's like an old person trying to give advice to the youth.

Like,

you guys are just going to make the same dumb mistakes that I made when I thought Joe Milton was going to be really good at Michigan and then Tennessee.

And it's like, that's fine.

But you can't.

You can't do anything to change it.

You act like I didn't watch Joe Milton in college at Michigan and at the Tennessee.

And then you know that he's not good.

I know full well what this is.

But you should not be excited about him zero you should zero percent be excited about him or think he could he could go for the job I'm sorry that I'm romantic about the deep ball the deep ball is awesome the 75 yard bomb was so sick I watched it like five times but it's just that's it but it could be fun like Dale Hill is such a fun quarterback but but I don't think anyone in the NFL they wouldn't allow it because it's it would be fun and then really bad and really bad would outweigh the fun and then they would take no coach does that that's why we have like the same backups all the time what if he just stops the really bad stuff though

i don't know can he throw softer think about can he throw softer i don't think he can throw softer he should throw left-handed on touch passes

yeah or just like he should do you should teach him rugby passes yeah rugby passes for for any screens would be perfect

uh all right what else what else do we have i mean there's the uh i'm trying to think mica parsons now has a fake injury.

So that's where we're at with that.

Smelling salts are back.

That was

a...

So

I'm happy for George Kittle.

Did you guys see also Levante Davids said that

he has hit the smelling salts for every single drive for 13 years in the NFL?

That's a lot of smelling salts.

Yeah.

But it's the NFL clarified.

The teams aren't.

allowed to give out the smelling salts, but players are allowed to use smelling salts.

You can bring your own from home.

This is probably Roger Goodell just figuring out a way, like, he's getting a promo code from Amazon because I'm sure they're going to be sold out of smelling salts.

Yeah, my affiliate link.

He drops that in there.

It was like a, I don't know if it was a point of confusion if somebody got the wires crossed or if Goodell just decided, like, I don't need the uprising.

I deal with enough.

I don't have to deal with players being pissed about smelling salts all the time.

But I'm glad that they fixed it.

I'm glad that they turned it around.

And yeah, we should get back in the smelling salt game here, in part of my take.

I'm actually, getting a big shipment for the boys.

So you're paying Roger Cadell.

I also bought a big shipment for the boys.

I forgot that we weren't going to be in the studio today.

Goodell definitely figured the way that he is getting.

He probably, if you go deep enough, he has a shell company that just bought all the stock in smelling salts and ammonia.

He's got the only tap to like the natural resource.

Is ammonia even a natural resource?

I don't even know what the fuck ammonia is.

That's a main thing.

Yeah, that's probably like in a DuPont chemical factory that they make overseas somewhere.

It's runoff.

Yeah.

So what is ammonia?

Is that what's in smelling salts?

Ammonia inhalant.

Yeah, it's a chemical compound.

I learned a valuable lesson one time that I was cleaning up a fridge when I was like 18 years old, and I was like, oh, here's ammonia.

That cleans stuff.

Oh, I've got bleach here.

That cleans stuff.

Let me go ahead and use them and clean up this fridge.

Started to get a nasty headache and I had to back away from the fridge.

Turns out I could have died.

it makes like mustard gas so don't combine those two yeah i'm reading ammonia right now and i don't know if like anyone would read this and then be like hey i want some ammonia a colorless gas with a pungent suffocating odor it's a crucial industrial chemical widely used in fertilizers refrigeration and various chemical manufacturing processes so yeah it's just it's just run off from every

factory in america Yeah,

I'm glad that they brought it back, though.

That was the absolute right call.

I also got something a little bit wrong when I was talking about the NFL's reason for why they banned it.

I thought that they had banned ammonia inhalants because

there's studies that show that they mimic the results of a concussion, but that's not true.

The reason why they banned it originally was because it's been shown that it can mask the symptoms of an actual concussion, which you think?

No, it does.

That's what I was saying in the Josh Allen Texans game.

Yeah.

That was the moment where they were like, oh, he got concussed and then he just hit the smelling salts and was back in.

Maybe we shouldn't do this.

But it's back.

Our long national nightmare is over.

That was a quick 24 hours of freaking out.

Okay, what else do we have?

Because there's

going on.

Yeah, more dildos.

Should we talk about the dildos?

We can talk about it.

It was right after we taped.

Almost like instantly, within five seconds after we taped, another dildo hit the floor.

I thought about hitting you guys up and be like, should we hop back on and add extra dildo talk?

But there there was one dildo that hit the court.

I think it hit Sophie Cunningham.

I think it did as well.

Kelsey Plum kicked it off the court.

But then the real story was

there was a second dildo that was thrown.

Oh.

That did not hit the court.

There were simultaneous dildo throws.

Only one struck the court.

So we're three for four.

Some say that that other dildo was meant for the Capitol building, but it didn't make it all the way there.

But there was one guy that got arrested afterwards.

And I think he's charged with a bunch of stuff.

And he might be involved in some sort of shitcoin scheme and that's what the dildos were doing which makes all the sense in the world

but it also makes me very very afraid of what people will do to pump a shit coin yeah did you see how far people will take something past where we're at right now

yeah did you see there was a dildo to MLB game as well the green dildo they were doing that uh it was it was right behind home plate where Marlin's man it wasn't Marlin's man he wears orange but the same as the silly fanatic that Ken put some respect on.

Yeah, the, I agree.

As soon as I saw his shit coins, I was like, I think I'm out on the dildo's.

And also, I might have been out on the third anyway, because it was, it was funny.

It's kind of like the Buffalo Bills one,

the dildozer who we did a documentary about.

It's funny in a one-off situation.

And then the second one, you're like, okay, this is kind of funny.

And then if it just keeps happening, it's just a bunch of people copying someone who did it that was funny.

And now that it might be a shitcoin guy, now it's not even funny.

yeah i miss when people would throw dildos for the love of the game right and just for profit right because they wanted they wanted a dildo they thought a dildo was funny now they're just using they're using these dildos incorrectly yeah to fuck us yeah right with the shit coins they're gonna rug pull us the the funniest the funniest possibility for the third dildo if it was gonna be funny would be if it was a suction cup dildo and they had thrown it and it had stuck to the backboard.

Yeah.

And then somebody would have to like get up on a ladder and try to like pull it off with their hand.

That would have been funny, especially if the dildo is lubed and then they couldn't get the dildo off the bat and they kept having to try to grab and pull the dildo.

Or if there was a way that you could have the dildo like hit the floor and it's a purple dildo or a black dildo, but then the minute it hits the floor, it then turns the green.

So you're like, oh, this, the person didn't even get the right, oh shit.

It's a transforming dildo.

It's now lime green.

Yeah.

Or if the WNBA had leaned into it and been like, if a dildo hits the floor in the fourth quarter, everybody in attendance gets free chicken McNuggets.

That would work.

That would have been good, too.

By the way, I think there was free chicken nuggets at the Ravens game tonight because there was a doink, which is awesome.

Oh, I like that.

Also, I saw that the Ravens, because this is the part of the season where...

you know, the local announcers get their shine because they get to call the preseason games.

I think he's a legend in Baltimore, so it's no shot at him, and it's with a G, but their announcer is Jerry Sandusky.

Yep.

You got to change that.

Or you got to really pronounce the G.

Jerry Sandusky.

Yeah, yeah.

It's got to be Gary.

You got to just be like,

or it's like Jerry Sandusky with a G and just kind of throw it in.

Yeah, I think

there, I could see his point of view when he's like, why should I change my name?

He's the one that sucks.

Like in office space.

But this guy really sucks.

Right.

Remember that there was that that guy who

was running.

Was he running for some type of public office, maybe in New York, and his name was Harvey Epstein?

Yeah.

It's like, dude,

how do you not figure, you got to change something here, man?

It was right in between the Harvey Epstein, Jeff, or Harvey Weinstein, Jeff Epstein.

And it was just like, come on, man.

Figure it out.

Middle name's got to work.

Got to move on from that.

His middle name's Adolph.

There's also an emerging story.

If we want to talk a little seam, we want to talk a little baseball.

Yankees,

yikes.

Yeah, they stink.

Things are bad for the Yankees, and Yankees fans are just, they're at their wit's end right now.

And it's sad, and I hate to draw a line to this, but the year where they decide to change their entire facial hair policy and grooming standards, things go downhill.

Like the Yankees, they should go back.

Yes, they should go back.

And you know what they should also do is go back to a manager that doesn't manage just off a spreadsheet.

I feel like that's run its course.

I feel like Aaron Boone's been the manager for 20 years now, and every year it's Yankees fans, rightfully so, being like, this guy is just managing off a spreadsheet and he's not no vibes.

They might need to bring back the no facial hair and Joe Tory

all in the same.

Joe Torrey's like barely alive, but just fucking.

Put them on the bench and have him go off vibes.

Yeah, I mean, Jazz Chiselum on the bases,

that was tough to watch.

Really bad.

Bad example for all the youngsters out there.

Yeah, really, really, really bad.

Yeah, the Yankees.

I also, I know this is just going to make everyone, all the, all the sickos and perverts happy, but the Brewers do just never lose.

I said it on Wednesday, and they still haven't lost.

They don't lose.

They never lose.

It's crazy.

This team never loses.

And the Mets almost got no hit, which was awesome.

Yeah, I was going to say there's another team in New York who's also playing pretty bad right now.

Yeah, the Mets are 2-8 in their last 10, and the Yankees are 4-6, so a little bit better.

But memes, what's going on?

They can't hit.

They got to fire their hitting coach, Eric Johnson.

You guys have an awesome lineup.

Yeah, but every single person has just forgot how to hit.

Yeah, that happens.

It's like everybody but Pete right now.

Pete's a stud, but everybody else just, nobody could hit.

That's happening to the Cubs, too.

I mean, they hit a couple on Wednesday, but they're just all striking out.

And then they're playing the Brewers this weekend, and then they never lose.

They never lose.

Can you explain this to me with PCA and the Cubs?

Yeah.

Some Cubs fans are not happy that the crowd continues to chant MVP at PCA

because they think that it makes them chase a lot of pitches.

No, not MVP PCA.

They chant PCA.

So they haven't been chanting MVP.

At least I was at the game on Monday night and there was no, he, which is another thing because council gave him a day off and then pinch hit him in the fifth and then kept him in for the rest of the game.

It's like,

the guy's lost, give him a day off.

There was no MVP.

It was PCA chance, but he is struck out, it feels like a billion times in the last week, and he's been chasing and lunging.

And he had a visible, like, like one of the loudest fucks after popping out in maybe the sixth or seventh inning on Wednesday.

We did have an Immaculate inning, though.

That was cool.

Do you guys see it?

Yeah, it was cool.

It was cool.

It was very cool.

That was all they had about the Mac of the Night.

I did hear that Cubs fans, maybe they've changed.

Maybe they decided, okay, absolutely no more MVP chance because you're making him chase these pitches.

The PCA chants keep happening.

The MVP, I did not hear at all on Monday, and I don't think I heard it the last two days.

Okay.

Yeah.

It's been bad.

It's been bad.

This is a part of baseball season that everyone, I mean, if you have a team that's in it or like around in it, it's just torture because every it's 162 games, but you just every game feels so like life or death.

And every game, like if you lose two in a row, you're like, this team's never going to win again.

And you have to, you have to do big picture, but it's impossible to do big picture at this point of the season.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You just want September to get here.

Right.

And you want to just win series.

Max, how's it, how are you feeling?

I feel, I feel pretty good.

I mean, the Phillies keep winning series, but then not sweeping.

So if that's my biggest worry right now at

this point of the year, that's okay.

Yeah.

The Phillies, yeah, the Phillies,

it feels like they're staying consistent while the Mets are falling.

We also should shout out the Blue Jays.

They also never lose.

They never lose.

They're very good as well.

I'm excited for playoff baseball.

I think it's going to be awesome.

Me too.

Should we talk any Slater?

What do we got?

Rashawn Slater?

Yeah.

Tours Patel attendant.

That sucked.

You also just want to fast forward to the,

we all want football to be here officially official.

But that sucks for the Chargers because he's a beast.

Injuries in the preseason are just especially cruel because we've talked about this before.

You don't get to see it.

And I know that sounds fucked up, but

just follow along my thought process.

You don't get to see it.

You just get a shefter.

tweet that says your key player is being carted off.

And then you have the hour or two

where you hope for the best, but know deep down it could be really bad.

You're hoping, like, hey, maybe it's just a sprained boo-boo

on his big toe.

And

all the hateful things I said to my coworkers seems ridiculous in hindsight because it was not a big deal.

But you know, deep down, it probably is going to be a season ender.

And that happened to the Chargers, which is massive.

I think also, did CJ Gardner Johnson tear his ACL as well?

No, it is not torn.

Oh, it's not?

Yeah.

He hurt his knee, but it's not ACL.

Okay, so is he out for the year?

I don't think so.

They don't know yet.

They said that it's injured, but they don't know the extent of the injury yet.

Got it.

Got it.

But they said that it's not ACL.

Got it.

Yeah, not ACL.

That's the worst, though, to be just sitting there because again, it's fucked up to say, but not being able to see it and process it live, when it happens live during a game, you can process it and be like, oh, maybe it's not that bad.

You know right away, like, this is either really, really bad or it might be okay.

When you just get the tweet, your mind goes to the worst possible place, and then you just spend.

Did you see there was also like

there was a rumor just going around that Garrett Nussmeyer tore his ACL, which I don't think was true.

But, like, this is what happens this time of year because we don't have eyes on all of this.

And then anyone can just say anything, and then you just expect the worst.

I just know that patella tendon is, I think that's the most painful of the knee injuries.

That might be like the most painful common sports injury is the patella.

Brutal.

and then and then you get and then you get sports medicine doc whatever his name is uh what's his name david chow david chow he gets the practice footage and that's how i saw it he was like chargers fans not good all right well that's brutal so they said anthony richardson just dislocated his pinky so he should be fine okay

who needs a pinky but i've never seen as many people just commenting on a preseason game in general but like right after an injury i saw like every NFL expert being like, Here's why this is actually Anthony Richardson's fault that he got hurt.

Like immediately.

No, like, no thoughts and prayers, no, uh, as a Giants fan, it was just straight up like, this was a dog shit play by Anthony Richardson.

He's got to be better.

It wasn't the play that he got sacked, right?

I think it was.

Oh, it was.

Where it was just a free rusher off the edge.

Yeah, you didn't see him.

He should have gone hot route, according to at least Jeff Schwartz and many other people.

Okay, got it.

Do we have, is Shane here?

Hey, Shane.

Can you hear me?

Yeah.

How you feeling?

Not good.

Not good at all.

All right.

Not good.

All right.

That was Shane, our Chargers fan.

I think that's it.

Well, early on in the day, I was just like praying that.

You went through the emotions.

Well, I was like, oh, it's not an ACL injury.

Like.

He'll be fine.

He'll be back.

And then to wishing it was an ACL injury.

Like, this is the worst thing that can happen.

There's been, like, no player that's gotten back to 100% off this.

Ever?

Ever.

It's bad.

I forget the stats.

I think it's like.

Thank God he got paid.

There was one dude that tore both of them at the same time a couple years ago.

Wait, you're not happy he got paid?

I mean,

for what?

But like, it's good that he, like, this is.

But the NFL is bullshit how they do contracts.

Like, this is a, if he hadn't gotten this huge contract, I'd feel awful, awful for him.

And like, at least he got paid.

I know that's hard for a Chargers fan to see, but from someone unbiased outside of it, like, I'm happy the player got paid.

Well, yeah, I'm happy for him.

Yeah, I would have preferred.

Yeah.

I would have preferred him to have gotten paid and played at the same time.

Agree.

Yeah.

We agree.

But your brain went straight to

consideration.

Take his money back.

I don't know how it works against the cap if he's injured.

Like, I don't know if we can get a good player like next offseason.

Like, he might not even, I don't know what the timeline is, but he might not even play the beginning of next year or next year at all.

Wait,

it's that long of an injury?

Yeah, it's pretty bad.

I know it's like JC Jackson had the same injury, and we know what happened to him.

Okay.

Depending on if it's fully ruptured, yeah, it could be over a year.

It could be.

So I don't know how that affects, because he's, I forget what his contract was.

It was a four-year extension, $130 million or something like that.

$100 million guaranteed.

So I don't know.

There should be a rule that if you get injured right after signing a contract, that some of it doesn't count towards the cap.

I mean, I hope not, but wouldn't it be a good idea?

Are you happy on the field?

Are you pretty sure he's getting money?

Yeah, yeah, okay,

yeah.

I'm pretty sure there was a rule they had to change it.

I think it might have been after Len Bias, but like, if you if a player died, he still counted against the cap.

And they might have changed it after, which that's heavy.

That's some heavy ass shit.

Yeah.

Uh, do you want

do we think Amario Hampton?

I know the boys were pumping me up because it's brutal for the Omario Hampton bet.

I mean, the good thing is, like, Joe Walt was like a natural left tackle, so I mean, there we go, it's good in that standpoint, but I mean, Rashawn Slater's awesome, yeah.

He was the highest paid tackle in NFL history, so you wish he didn't get for 11 days,

it's counting.

What's the rule that, like, if your entire team dies, you get to do some sort of like special redraft?

Yeah, there's the, there's like the cat, you know, cat,

I can't speak.

Catastrophic?

Yeah, or something like that.

There's some rule because remember, there was a guy on Reddit who was like, what if, what if our entire team dies and we can just redraft?

Because they were like so bad.

It's like a certain amount of players die.

They can, you basically get an expansion team.

I don't know what exactly it is, but

so 11 days.

So you got paid.

How much was it guaranteed?

I think it was 100 million guaranteed.

Wow.

Oh, they call it a disaster drive.

Disaster.

Okay.

That's a lot easier of a word.

It's been a long week.

Tell us the rules.

I'm trying to look it up right now.

In the event that a team disaster did occur, each of the four major professional sports leagues has a contingency plan.

Major League Baseball remained tight-lipped about its plan.

They have a confidential disaster draft.

So they're saying, we do have a plan, but we won't tell you what the plan is.

Sounds like they don't have a plan.

This is like the eighth overtime in a Stanley Cup final game.

Yeah, but yeah, so MLB keeps it all.

It's a secret.

The NFL plan refers to a near disaster as a common accident in which a team loses fewer than 15 players.

A disaster occurs when more than 15 players are lost.

What do they get to do?

They would be required to play out the season, though they would have priority on every waiver claim.

Okay, great.

Sick.

They get the waiver claims.

All right, Shane, listen.

Spin zone.

Better now than

in the playoff push.

I guess.

No, that's a fact.

If you're going to have an injury, you'd rather have it before the trade deadline, before the season starts, enough time to get your team ready, like, you know, continuity on the line.

You don't want injuries, but if you had to pick a time, it'd be this, then December.

Yeah, I guess.

Prayers are okay.

Yeah.

But if it happens late in the season, you automatically get the first pick in the NFL draft.

We could just tank on the season.

Wait,

if the disaster kicks in.

Oh, no, I was just talking about the injury.

I was talking about the injury.

Okay.

About the disaster.

Yeah.

Get Arch.

And not for another two years.

Oh, that's right.

Yeah.

I mean,

his grandpa has shown that this is the plan.

Those Mannings.

He's going to win.

Do you think he would let Arch play for the Chargers?

Yeah, for Harbaugh.

Yeah.

And it's L.A.

now.

I think that would change things.

Yeah, I think that would change things.

Okay, anything else before we get to ourselves back in studio for the Mount Rushmore?

I'm trying to think.

I'm just looking real quick.

If we missed any big stories.

Oh, the Heat Security Guard.

That guy's a scumbag, but he made a lot of money.

Did you guys see that?

No, what'd that guy do?

There's a Heat Security Guard who was just stealing jerseys for like five years, and he sold the jerseys for like $2 million

plus.

Among the items, a game-worn LeBron James NBA Finals jersey was reportedly sold by Perez for around $100,000 and later auctioned for $3.7 million.

So

he was just stealing all their jerseys and then reselling them.

I don't mind the hustle.

Kind of a perfect crime until you get caught.

Yep.

Yeah.

Former Miami Heat security guard appeared in federal court, accused of stealing hundreds of pieces of team memorabilia.

He's accused of using his special access to the equipment room to steal nearly 400 game-worn jerseys, 100 of which he sold for about $2 million.

Whew.

Sounds like it was a victimless crime.

Yeah, I mean, how did they find him?

So, was LeBron like, hey, I've been looking for that jersey?

Yeah, I don't know.

But, I mean, if he was able to get away with it for years, then nobody was really that wigged out about it.

So, let the man sell.

Let the man grind.

Got to have a side hustle.

I just imagine that guy was probably

just wearing like an NBA Finals Ray Allen jersey, just walking around his house.

Yeah.

Because you can't, like, he probably couldn't.

He had to sell it on the black market.

Then it went on to, you know, real, real auctions.

So he didn't give a fuck.

He was just wearing, he was just dressing in heat gear every single day, game worn.

Yep.

That kind of rocks.

I don't mind it.

Yeah.

Imagine if he was just using like Mario Chalmers jerseys for like, you know,

bath rags and stuff.

everything in his house everything in his his drapes yeah he's got a udonis haslam doormat

oh

every single thing in his house is just a heat jersey

uh okay let's do our uh mount rushmore then we got two awesome interviews howie roseman and vaughn miller Before we get to our Mount Rushmore, brought to you by our friends at game time.

There's nothing like getting to a baseball game, especially last minute.

Lucky for me, I always use Game Time, the official ticketing partner, Barstool Sports.

Game time makes getting tickets faster and easier.

Prices on the app actually go down the closer it gets to showtime.

Max, where are the Phillies playing this weekend?

The Phillies are playing the Texas Rangers in the Dallas area this weekend.

I can look that up.

Yeah.

Use Game Time.

Take the guess.

We're going to buy tickets with Game Time.

Download the Game Time app.

Create an account.

Use code PMT for $20 off your first purchase.

Terms apply.

Again, create an account.

Redeem code PMT for $20 off.

Download the Game Time app today.

What time is it game time?

What were the prices?

You can get in the ballpark for $18,

Texas.

Maybe get some right field seats with Game Time.

Catch a Schwarber home run.

So use Game Time today.

Use that code PMT for $20 off.

Download the Game Time app today.

What time is it Game Time?

We're also brought to you by our friends at Truly, Truly Hard Seltzer.

It's all about fun, light, refreshing variety in a bubbly, effervescent style to get you and your people in a lively party mood.

Truly Unruly is an 8% hard seltzer, full of flavor, but still light and refreshing.

Gets in four flavors, Tropical Twist, Berry Blast, Citrus Crush, and Strawberry Smash.

You can even grab a big 24-ounce Tropical Twist single at a convenience store.

Truly is the perfect day drink.

Tailgating on the weekend, bouncing around for game day.

You can't beat something as light and easy, but big on flavors as Truly.

Truly Unruly drinks light parties hard, get unruly with truly

8% hard seltzer, truly unruly, 8% hard seltzer.

You can find it anywhere like your favorite grocery, liquor, or convenience store, or visit trulyhardself.com and use the truly finder to grab it near you.

Okay, kicking it back to ourselves in studio for our Mount Rushmore.

Okay, Mount Rushmore time.

We are doing the Mount Rushmore

Dream Blunt rotation.

Dead or alive.

Could be anybody.

Could be anyone.

Anyone.

Anyone.

Yep.

Could be anyone.

Agreed.

Now, memes out.

Is Shane working with you, Max?

No.

Memes is still here in spirit.

We've been texting.

Okay.

He's just not here for the.

Will you ask him if you want Shane to help?

Yeah, Shane, would you like to help?

Dream Blunt rotation?

You're not ready for that?

Shane is just shaking his head.

Shane, we're going to need the undrafted free agents.

You need to assemble a team.

Yeah, we are going to need a team at the end, Shane Blunt.

Yeah, I would like to see Memes' reaction to you telling him Shane's doing the picks.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Max, I have a question for you.

Did Memes hit you up and say Queen Latifah?

No, he did not.

Okay.

All right.

There is a memes pick on here that I'm excited to talk about in the Honorable Mentions.

Okay, all right.

So it's already been played.

In the Honorable Mentions.

Oh, yeah.

I have a Zach pick as well that's exciting.

Memes is like insisting that I actually use this.

I think you got to do an H-Man?

No.

That will be a team point.

There is an H in there.

Oh.

Okay.

Harriet Tubman.

Okay.

Got a close.

All right.

Let's rip it.

So it's

Zach and I first, and then

Max and Memes, and then PFT and Hank.

Hank's got the ball.

Hank's got the ball for this one?

Fully?

No, we collaborated, but I mean, this is Hank's turn.

Yeah,

this is a Hank draft.

What do you mean by that?

This is a Hank draft.

Because PFT's not a drug guy, or because Hank's a drug guy?

Not a drug guy.

Neither one.

There's a difference between drug guy and weed guy.

Hank and I have both both quit drugs.

Yep.

Yep.

Okay.

At some point.

Yeah.

All right.

Ready?

I believe that's right.

So we have 1-1.

We're going to go easy 1-1.

Not overthink this.

Stay strong.

Don't break.

We're going to go Snoop Dogg.

1-1.

All right.

He's going to keep it.

I mean, he's going to provide the weed.

He's going to roll the blunt.

Thought about Snoop Dogg, not on our list.

I like Snoop Dogg, but someone else picked it earlier in the year, and I said he was a criminal, murderer.

So I had to stay strong with that one.

I think his weed would be too strong.

That's what I was going to go with.

Way too strong.

But in a classic blunt rotation, Snoop Dogg is a correct pick.

I'm staying true to myself.

He might be my one-one of like wouldn't want to be in a blunt rotation because I would go way too high.

Too high.

All right, so what's your pick?

I'm going to go with vibes.

A guy that, like, no matter what, if you're going to be smoking weed with this guy, you're going to be, it's going to be good vibes.

And it's a guy who is the ultimate good vibes guy.

We're going to go with Adam Sandler.

Wow.

Okay.

Good pick.

Hey, we had him on the list.

Yeah.

Had him on our list as well.

Wow.

That changes things.

That was going to be our R112.

Okay.

I agree with what Max just said.

I also think you want to have someone who's a good storyteller, celebrity,

and good vibes, funny, personable.

We're going to go Matthew McConaughey.

Okay.

on our list.

And similar,

you know, all-time storyteller, all-time guest, may you rest in peace,

all-time vibes.

We're going to go Bill Walton.

Okay.

Yep.

Great guy to smoke with.

I would imagine.

Okay.

He might, you know, microphone, he might hold on to the bun a little bit too long.

Yeah, I was going to

talk a little.

But the story is like, you know, you get him going with a group.

Sure.

The vibes would be all-time high.

Absolutely.

And I think the moments where Bill Walton doesn't make a lot of sense, he makes more sense when you're high.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

We're sticking with our vibes team over here.

We're going to go with Adam Sandler, dead or alive, paired up with good friend Chris Farley.

Okay, good.

All right.

He did die from drugs.

Not weed.

That's okay.

Yeah, but still.

Not weed.

So is he?

We're talking about weed.

Okay.

What do we do here, Zach?

Everything's out there.

There's a lot of different routes we could take here.

Yeah.

What route do you think gets?

I don't know.

Neither do I, which is not good.

We're going to be paralyzed here for a second.

Talk it out.

Talk it out.

Talk it out.

I don't hate six.

I don't hate 11.

I don't hate...

Your voice is quivering a little bit there.

It made me a little nervous.

How many rappers are on Zach's list?

He had a few.

He had a few.

But

we feel strong about some of our picks.

Clearly.

Yeah,

we do.

All right.

Zach, do you want me to just try to take the ball here?

I think you take the ball on the list.

And just go for it.

Ripped it.

All right.

Our next two picks are going to be Dave Chappelle and Hunter S.

Thompson.

Okay.

Whoa.

All right.

What do you think about those two?

Both good picks.

We had Dave Chappelle on the list.

Yeah.

Hunter S.

Thomas.

Hunter S.

Thompson.

Ooh, boy, would that be fun.

He'd just be fun to spend a weekend with.

Just talk to forever.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

I feel good about that, Zach.

Good picks.

Yeah.

We have too many picks.

We have

too many people on.

This was too big.

There's a lot.

Yeah.

It was way too big.

There's a lot.

It's like a lot of people.

I'm scanning it being like, do we pick Toe Mater?

Do we pick

that was one of Zach's picks?

I kind of liked it.

He would rock.

Yeah.

Memes has one of those.

Yeah.

No, yeah, but it's a good pick.

It's a good pick.

So pick him.

No, I'm not going to

pick him back.

No.

I'm in the game.

I'm going to stay strong with

my vibe here.

here.

I'm going to stay strong with my vibe here.

Old memes warm.

We're going to go with more of a weed guy, but still a good vibe guy.

We're going to go with Seth Rogan.

Yeah, politics.

Also, he's so political.

I don't know anything about that.

Yeah, he's gotten very political.

He's just like a pro-weed smoker.

That's the thing.

I mean, you can't also.

How's that not the same as Snoop Dogg?

Same thing.

No, but his weed's going to be

just as strong, if not stronger.

Is it?

Yeah, same.

Snoop Dogg like the fan.

Oh, yeah.

All right.

We're getting high with Seth Rogen.

Yeah, you don't want to be an amateur included in a pro blunt rotation.

It's going to get messy for you.

Yeah, no, that's fair.

That's fair criticism.

Okay.

All right.

Last two.

I'm scared where Hank's going to go.

Oh, Hank.

He knew some ones out there that I was just like.

Be yourself, Hank.

Let's not pander.

Just be yourself.

All right.

50.

Give it to him.

Hank, hit the Jesus button.

Follow me to court.

All right.

Trust my guy.

I wanted to hit the Jesus button really bad.

Hit it.

No.

This is the 2026 or 2025 meatballs.

I know.

I'm happy that we have a teammate because I would have taken Jesus six more times this year.

Yeah, we got a lot of yappers.

We got the good vibes.

We want someone great laugh, good hang, but not too much of a, you know, he's not like a Seth Rogen weed guy where he's going to have the strongest weed in the world.

We're going to go Gronk.

Okay.

I like that.

Okay.

Good pick, man.

Yeah, he'd just be fun.

He would just be a fun time.

Okay.

And then this is my pick.

I feel strongly about this one.

Do it.

All-time vibes.

One of my best friends, PFT commenter.

Oh, that is such a pick.

Thank you, Hank.

I don't know how that was going to play.

I don't know how that was for the play.

Well, you can't do that.

Hank, my dream bloomer rotation.

Hank wanted.

I tried to talk him out of it.

Max.

I'm not a weed guy.

We've never done this.

That's an interesting thing.

You've never been able to get him to play.

It's a PFT.

He just picked himself.

I picked himself up.

But your

PFT just picked himself.

That's Hanks.

But this is

people are voting on this.

The fans on our show are voting on this.

That's bullshit.

It's honestly not a bad pick.

Come on.

I'm a fan.

It's a dream.

You guys wouldn't argue against this if one of us picked him up.

No,

I was worried that

it wasn't going to get him.

I think that's a crap.

I was very worried that Max or you were going to take him.

No, because Hank and I have had

some good sessions before.

Hank knows I'm a good time to smoke with.

That's playing, like, you're playing to our audience and being like the guy who everyone listens to.

That's kind of.

You don't think that's rigging it a little?

I think it was, we waited because I was worried that someone else was going to take him.

I'm happy he got to us.

That's.

He was worried.

It's never been done.

He thought matches.

No, no, no, no.

It has been done.

When?

You guys did it.

When?

You guys did it a couple years ago as a team.

On what?

Forget what.

You need more.

Yeah, what are you talking about?

If you're going to make that claim, you got to come back.

If you're about to claim, then I'll listen to it.

Oh, fuck.

Where's memes?

Call him.

Hey, he's not wrong.

I'm fun to smoke with.

It's one of my calling cards.

I mean, but you see how there's a huge.

You can see how I was uncomfortable with the pick.

No, but not even that.

Hey, memes, wait, hold on, hold on.

Before he says something, memes, do you.

No, hold on, hold on.

This doesn't matter.

You should say if I have a question.

No, no, no.

I want to ask him a question.

A couple years ago,

this is my phone call.

All right, I'll call you back, memes.

Are you, do you have a second?

Yeah, I have a second.

Do you recall when PFT and Big Cow were teammates on Mount Rushmore, they picked themselves for something?

They picked themselves for something?

Yeah, like as one of the choices.

Ooh.

I'm getting another call.

Memes, what's up?

What the?

Hey.

We're doing the dream blunt rotation, and Hank picked PFT.

Don't you think that's pretty crazy?

Well, you you let's load a question.

You should let him answer the question before you.

It's crazy, but also not the best pick.

Oh!

Keep going.

Why?

I probably would have picked Hank.

Oh!

Yeah, you should have.

But you don't think for the voters, like, there's

the show they're listening to is, and PFT's on there.

Yeah, but

that could be a sneaky good pick.

Well, that's what I'm saying.

It's also, that's the point is that, like, it's pandering to a level.

It's not pandering.

They're listening to this show.

It's not pandering.

Okay.

Hey, memes.

Hey, it's PFT here.

Was there an instance where me and Big Cat picked ourselves?

That's very important.

Think about that.

I can't remember.

You got to come with better.

I knew you were going to come with this.

No, well, no.

I didn't think you guys were going to object this hard.

I've noticed you think it's kind of crazy you then stop saying that you don't want to smoke with pft when you have the list of the whole world also memes i've smoked with pft max took i would like to tifa yeah that's also

how is this a dream block rotation when you've already done this

you smoke with pft and you could pick anyone from the

history of the world one of the best sessions i've ever had that's one of the best times ever you've smoked with pft multiple times pandering and it's all

button to pick sand but it's the most blatant pandering of all time because you could

I honestly kind of

agree with memes, though.

It's probably not a great pick.

I don't know.

The four, like,

the rotation that we have would be a dream.

Okay.

Memes, do you have that?

I don't think

canceled stuff.

Things that have been canceled?

That would be Barcelona,

which wouldn't be us.

It's the show.

And that's also you.

I love how Hank's eating nice.

I'm not sure if I can do it.

I'm not sure if I can do it.

And honestly, plays for this draft, though.

Yeah, true.

Yeah.

All right.

Hey, great talk.

Bye.

Okay.

All right.

You can have anyone dead and alive, and you pick someone you've smoked with many times.

Again, like, I feel like you're disrespecting PFT a little bit.

No, I'm not.

I'm a chill guy.

I can deal with it.

Okay.

Put him on the movie.

And our other option was the Rizzler.

Download.

And that was PFT.

Yeah.

I wanted to do the Rizzler.

I feel like The Rizzler would be a good one for the graphic.

That's a great pick.

Yeah.

Just blow it in his ear.

Probably his first time he smoked.

Yeah.

What was me?

What was the Harry Tummin one?

Wait, there were so many.

You're not done, Hank.

You're giving away.

I know that you finished your ice cream,

but it's done.

You guys can take Big Cat.

No, I'm an integrity guy here.

Yeah.

Max doesn't mind to smoke with you.

No,

if you had the whole world, I would hope you wouldn't pick me.

The whole history of the universe and everyone, every dead or alive celebrity, I would hope you wouldn't pick me.

I guess I just love you guys.

I don't know.

Pander.

I love you too, Adam.

Thank you.

It's the most.

What's going to happen is we're going to finish in last, and it's going to be absolutely devastating for me.

Oh, because the fans are going to vote for you.

The fans are going to vote for you.

Go ahead, Max.

See,

my last pick is really throwing me off here because

I wasn't too.

I was kind of just thinking of Seth Rogan as talk us through it.

As like a funny, funny smoking comedian guy who's in a bunch of funny movies and he's a funny guy.

And my next pick is also a funny guy.

Rob Schneider?

No.

But it might.

I'm just going to stick with my pick.

I'm going to go with Shane Gillis as my last pick.

That's okay.

I had him on our list.

It's a good pick.

He's a drinker, but yeah.

But that's okay.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

That's a good pick.

No, it's a good pick.

Would you like to pick up the pick?

My problem is: are they going to be at odds if this is...

I didn't know the political affiliation.

Would you expect Shane to show up and to start performing for you?

No.

What?

It just makes a joke.

He sits down.

You're like, all right, Shane, you're on.

Here's your weed.

What?

No, I'm just...

There's a lot of funny.

Having funny people in a room, it's not like he's...

There's four comedians in that room.

Yes.

It's not like you're asking one person to be a funny guy.

Did you think about the cohesion of your group?

So you have Shane, you've got...

No, that's what.

That's what.

Who else do you have?

Adam Sandler and Chris Farley.

I think I think that's a good list.

That's a good list, yeah.

All right, we're taking cohesion as well because we wanted to have people that we know can all handle their weed.

No one's going to be calling to go to the hospital because they got a little too high.

Our last pick is going to be Marshawn Lynch.

That's a good pick.

That's a good pick.

Very good pick.

Very good pick.

Very good pick.

Great hang.

I like that.

All right.

So many honorable mentions.

So many times.

Can I say the memes one?

Yeah.

And then I'll say the Zach one.

Memes was insistent on Helen Keller.

Oh.

I don't know why.

Why?

I think we should call him and get like.

Why?

Ever since you first brought up this Dream Blunt rotation,

I think

he wants to get to the bottom of whether she is actually what she says that she is.

But she can't say what she is.

I know.

So Helen Keller's mom is what you always do.

No, no, no, he.

Because memes, you know how there's like the internet meme that she was just lying?

She was.

Well, her mom was lying.

I guess.

But he wants to.

He wants to get to the bottom of it.

To get to the bottom of it.

Let's give him another call.

You call him a call.

I'll call him.

All right, call him.

Zach's pick that I loved that didn't make the...

Well, he's not going to be able to hear you guys.

That's fine.

Just ask him.

Just talk him through it.

Was

Yellow Minim.

Okay.

He said that he thinks Yellow Minim is always high.

He does seem like the chillest one, yeah.

Chicken Joe was the cartoon that we were talking about from Surfs Up.

Okay, I'd say Yellow Minim and Patrick from SpongeBob would be kind of the same vibes.

Good vibes on that one.

Zach, rip off your honorable mentions because you had some good ones.

I do think Crush, the turtle for finding Nemo, would be a good hang.

I also think that Yoda would be a good hang.

Yoda is a great call.

Brian Griffin is a dog for family guy.

He might be a good hang.

Smart ass.

What are our thoughts on

going Zuckerberg?

Finding out all these.

No,

it's weed isn't like mind control serum.

So I think he would just like he would call the cops on himself.

Maybe Tom from MySpace.

Yeah, he'd be a better Hang, I think.

Tom from ISpace had it all figured out.

Yeah.

Cashed out for like $750 million, never heard from him again.

That is the dream.

We had, obviously, I think the Rizzler would have been a great pick.

Yeah.

Hank thought it was child abuse.

I actually was shocked this pick wasn't taken.

Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Yeah, he just sometimes can get like too much.

Yeah.

Yeah, I know what the fuck is that.

We thought about that with Rogan and you thought that same thing.

We also had Albert Einstein on there for that reason.

Trump.

Okay.

Trump's funny.

Remove politics from it.

But yeah, in this theory, everyone's going to be a little bit more likely to be

called

the police or the ambulance.

Jesus.

Leo DiCaprio.

Yep.

We had David Attenborough.

Okay.

Just calmly tell you animal facts.

Yeah.

Keanu Reeves.

Yep.

Nick Cage.

Liz Khalifa.

Yep.

Michael Jackson.

Yep.

Harambe.

Xavier Legette.

Yep.

Would be a great one.

I don't.

Harambe would be good.

I almost, if you made a switch, I might have gone Harambe.

Just pander even more.

We had

Vladimir Putin and Vladimir Zelensky together.

Okay.

Solve the crisis.

Get it figured out.

Say one thing you like about the other guy.

We had Prince.

Billy Strings.

Ozzy Osborne.

Yeah.

Steve Irwin.

What do you guys think about Johnny Osborne?

Ooh, Steve Irving.

We had Johnny Erwin on there.

Would he make you do some crazy shit?

No, I think you just have Chris.

This game is probably chill, yeah.

Miles Teller.

Yep.

Chill as fuck.

Charles Barkley.

We had Mac Miller, but he got a little sad at the end of his life, so I didn't want to.

Yeah, that one would be.

Well, I mean, you took Chris Farley.

Yeah.

Yeah, but Chris Farley is basically the same exact thing.

Willie Nelson?

Yeah, Willie B.

That's a big miss.

Yeah.

Joe Button could be a good hang.

Yep.

No.

No.

He's so much talking.

He's a yeller.

Joe Button is a...

Bill Walton kind of the same way.

Like they're, you know, they call it the microphone in the rotation where they just take the blunt and don't stop talking, don't give it up.

Joe Button, I feel like, would just

listen.

Jameis, would we good?

Norm McDonald?

Norm McDonald was on our list, too.

I thought about just going with that entire crew of

comedians of that prime group.

Who would your fourth have been?

Spade?

Maybe Chris.

Probably Chris Rock, yeah.

That would have been a strong one to say.

I think you guys are going to win.

Mellow.

The Seth Rogan thing, I'm nervous about.

He's very playful.

Yeah, that I didn't know about.

Yeah.

Because I wanted, like, I feel like it's good to have one smoker, like, one guy who is a smoker in the group to kind of.

He rolls the blunt?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Plato.

Plato.

Tim Linsicum?

Yeah.

He's a big-time smoker.

And I feel like he doesn't open up at all, and it would be awesome to hear some stories.

John Daly.

Oh, yeah, Shane.

We need your honorable mention.

Your free agent draft.

Oh,

Zach had Shaggy from Scooby-Doo.

Oh, yeah, that'd be a good pick.

Yeah, Scooby from Scooby-Doo.

Rihanna.

Yep.

Rihanna.

Oh, we had Miley Cyrus.

That would have been a good one.

We had Martha Stewart as well.

Rihanna's a good pick.

Dog would have been good together.

John Madden.

John Madden.

Oh, I feel like he would call the cops.

No, he would just sort of giggle, make sound effects.

That's what I thought about Batman.

Maybe a cop.

Yeah, Batman might, maybe a cop.

Maybe a restless rate when we light up.

What do you got, Shane?

Make your four.

I had Crush was my 1-1, but most of them got listed.

Crush, Keanu, Ricky Williams.

Oh, good one.

I don't.

Nicholas Cage.

Kelso from that 70s show.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Just the character.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right.

Smart.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You don't want to get

it.

Yep.

Okay.

Yeah.

Alan Iverson.

Yeah.

That'd be fun.

It'd be fun.

Nate Diaz.

Nate Diaz would be fun.

I feel like with Nick Gregor, you'd end up hitting each other.

Gregor would be if we did a dream coke rotation.

Yeah.

That would be a good Zuckerberg spot.

Just get all his best ideas.

Take them away.

Nick Cage.

Yeah.

Would be sick.

Sitting in his like.

Vince Vaughan, Owen Wilson.

Ooh, yeah.

Vince Vaughn Vaughan would be fun, I think.

Did we say Bortles?

We didn't.

Griffin Finn would be fun, too.

Yeah.

Kevin James.

I bet Kevin James is a pig.

Yeah.

Well, I said because you told me it.

Great pig.

I actually think Jesus would have been a good pick here, Hank.

Yeah, it could have played.

Yeah.

Jesus would be a chill guy to smoke with.

We got podcasts, Jesus, basically.

The Hank.

Respect, Hank.

You know exactly what you do.

I think it's...

I understand where Hank's head is coming from.

I just don't know if it's going to play.

It's not.

I don't think it is.

It might not play.

No,

I don't think we won this draft anywhere close.

I think

it's our fans.

We'll see.

All right.

Good Mount Rushmore.

Great Mount Rushmore.

Mount Cushmore.

Before we get to Howie Roseme's brought to you by our great friends at Aura Frames, I got a simple but meaningful gift idea for your mom, your dad, your grandparent who lives across the country.

It's a digital picture frame from Aura.

Aura Frames was named the best digital photo frame by Wirecutter, and it's easy to see why.

There's unlimited storage.

You can add as many photos and videos as you can find.

It's so simple to set up.

You just plug it in, you share away, you can download an app so you can actually upload your pictures from your place, put them on mom's picture frame in her living room.

I got my mom an aura frame for Christmas last year.

She absolutely loves it.

I upload pictures of Blake all the time.

It's in her living room, one of her favorite gifts she's ever gotten.

She absolutely loves it.

And actually, there's a picture of me, Jerry O'Connell, and my El Camino in her living room.

She wanted that one on there.

So that pops up in the slideshow on Mom's Aura Frame.

It's a great, great gift.

Check it out.

Start reliving your favorite memories by visiting auraframes.com.

For a limited time, listeners can get $35 off on their best-selling Carver Matte frame.

That's A-U-R-AFrames.com.

Promo code PMT.

Support the show by mentioning us to checkout.

Terms and conditions apply.

Get an aura frame today.

Howie Roseman's also brought to you by Proper 12.

It's PFT here.

I'm making my Irish entrance with Proper Number 12 Irish Whiskey.

How do you make an Irish entrance, you ask?

It starts with a shot of Proper Number 12 Irish Whiskey because real friends don't let friends Irish exit a party without a story to tell.

Original Proper Number 12 is a rich and smooth blend of golden grain and single malt, aged four years in bourbon barrels.

Mix it up with some ginger ale for a classic and refreshing proper ginger.

If you're in the mood for something smooth but a little sweeter, try proper Irish Apple.

It's a delicious blend of proper's award-winning Irish whiskey with crisp, fresh notes of apple.

So get out there and make your Irish entrance.

Anything else just wouldn't be proper.

Make your Irish entrance today with proper number 12 Irish whiskey.

And now here's Howie Roseman.

Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very special guest.

He's the architect of two Super Bowl championships.

It is our Grit Week interviews presented by Hey Dude.

It is General Manager, Executive Vice President.

Is that your official title?

You can call me whatever you want.

Okay, it is Howie Roseman.

Howie, thank you for joining us.

We start every interview grit week with the same question.

I'm actually going to change it a little.

How do you define grit in players you're looking at and maybe how it shows up when you're when you're scouting guys?

Adversity.

You know, you want to see how people are handling adversity, overcoming adversity, and that could be in different areas of life.

You know, that could be off the field, that could be on the field, but we know how hard it is to play in the NFL.

We know how hard it is to play in Philly.

And so

we understand that there are going to be moments during the course of the season, you know, moments during training camp where guys are going to face adversity.

And what are they doing to respond to that?

So we are looking for guys who have had adverse situations, overcome them, and you can go through our roster.

You know,

it's funny because

I was thinking about what I was going to say at the Super Bowl parade, you know, and Bob Lang, our great PR guy, says to me, hey, you know, you got to speak for a couple minutes.

And I'm like, what am I going to say?

And like the night before, at like 11.30, I figured it out.

I'm like, every single one of our players, our coaches, our staff, I think myself, you know, have overcome.

something in their life to get here.

You know, you just can go through the team.

You know, Lane Johnson was a Juco quarterback, you know, best right tackle to ever play the game.

Obviously, Jalen Hurts, A.J.

Brown, his team didn't want him.

I mean, Devontae Smith, third receiver.

I mean, I could go through every player on our team, you know, and then I got hit in the head with a beer can, and everything changed.

But, but, you know, I think that that's really

how I would define grit.

I would say Jalen is a great example of that.

Like, the fact what he went through in college and how he responded to that, he just seems like the right type of person that you would want in your building.

Is that like when you were breaking him down before the draft, was that a major factor in how you evaluated him?

And he kept getting better, you know, and there was constant improvement.

Like, this guy was working on his craft every part of the process you saw from when he was a freshman and people forget like he was the sec offensive freshman of the year you know like this wasn't like this guy hadn't had success but everything that didn't work for him he worked on to improve you know and and he continued that even like when you saw him at the senior bowl to the combine and it was the same for him when he was here you know from the time that he came in during training camp because that was the COVID year, you know, he didn't, we didn't have an offseason with him.

And then you saw him play towards the end of the year.

He kept getting better and better.

And so when you have guys who you got to be talented, you know, at the end of the day, like it's hard to play in the NFL.

And so at the end of the day, all these things are really important, but you got to have physical ability too.

So he had those.

And you looked at him and you saw kind of what was winning in the NFL and how successful he was even winning in college.

And quite honestly, we didn't think he'd be there when we picked in the second round.

You know, it was kind of like, yeah, we like this guy.

Probably not taking him in the first round, but

yeah, this guy is still sitting there in the second round.

That would be a gift.

So I think that's kind of how we felt about it.

We were joking with Trevor Lawrence when we had him on the show a couple weeks ago that he didn't lose enough growing up to like be able to respond to adversity, which we were like, we're busting his balls about and we were taking that seriously.

But is there anything that you would ever look at at a player and be like, I don't know how he's going to respond because he's just been on great teams his entire career?

Yeah, I think that when you're looking sometimes, if you're looking at a charmed life, and not a lot of people have a charmed life, you know, especially as you get older.

And these guys that we're getting, you know, they're still 21, 22, 23, something in their life has happened to them that they've had to respond to most of those guys.

But I think you got to dig into that too, you know.

And some guys, you know, are fortunate to have great upbringings.

And just, you know, the football gods have preyed upon them, freaking great physiques and great careers.

And you don't want to penalize that.

them for that either, you know, but it's very few and far between that you find guys like that.

Yeah, you mentioned adversity.

Your story is awesome.

And I always never know what to believe when I'm reading up on someone on the internet.

So you were a football fanatic from a very young age, playing fantasy football.

What was the first year you played fantasy football?

This is before it became big.

Yeah, it was before it became big.

But I would say, like, you know, I...

I remember I grew up, you know, my first experience of football was six years old and the Jets and Dolphins played in the AFC championship game.

And A.J.

Dewey had two interceptions on Richard Todd, and I was like crushed, you know, and I don't think I missed a Football Sunday from that time on.

And, you know, when I was growing up, I wanted to play quarterback, you know, in the NFL.

And I realized really quickly that wasn't going to happen.

But I loved everything about the game.

I loved

studying it, watching it.

And this is the only thing I ever wanted to do in my life.

And it was like, you know, to everyone who was around me, it was so far-fetched, you know, because I didn't have any connection or anything.

And I think I was just fortunate that at least I knew from an early age what I wanted to do.

So at least, you know, my psychopathic tendencies came out early, you know, so I could kind of, you know, stalk people at an early age and try to get into the NFL.

But

obviously, just fortunate to get an opportunity.

So the story goes that I read that you

sat next to John Elway's father on a plane.

Yeah.

And he kind of gave you the time of day where he was like, you know, you're 10 years old, but he's actually listening to you and being like, this kid knows football.

And that almost like it changed my life.

It changed my life because, you know, I was going to visit my grandparents in Florida and sit in the back of the plane.

And I was reading like a draft preview.

And, and, uh, I was wearing a Yankees hat, and he just kind of tipped my cap.

And he said, oh, my son played for the Yankees.

And I'm like, who's your son?

And he's like, I'm like, John Elway.

And he just sat and talked to me.

You know, at the end of the plane, he handed my mom a business card and said, you know,

have him keep in touch with me.

I've never met a kid that young who's this passionate, knew so much.

And of course, she threw away the business card.

But I had I finally had someone who believed in me you know and I held on to that for a long time and the first time I met John Elway

I told him how important his dad was to me after one meeting and that's incredible everyone needs someone to believe in that yeah that's incredible just a crazy circumstance so all right so so that happens when you're 10 and then I was reading more about how when you're trying to get in the NFL you're writing letters to every team trying to get your foot in the door which is hard to do hard was it every single team it was every single team And what was the letter?

It was just like, I'll do anything.

You know, I want to work in football.

I want to work in scouting.

You know, give me an opportunity.

You know, I'm not asking for money.

And I just would collect rejection letters, you know, which was great because

it was awesome because it really allowed me to

not care in my social life, you know?

So if like I saw, I'm like, shit, every freaking NFL team is rejecting me.

How hard is it to go ask a girl out, you know, and have a wife, you know?

So it was a great lesson to me you know about um

people are are

paralyzed by the word no you know and you gotta get gotta get past it in life you know a lot of people are gonna say you can or no and so it was a great lesson for me um but it took a long time yeah i heard that you would also send thank you letters for the rejection letters yeah that's how i got really my first

that's a cuck move that's crazy like thank you for thank you for your no

but then that stands out in your head though you're probably thinking well if they see the thank you, then they might say yes.

Yeah, that's no doubt.

You know, there was an ulterior motive.

I'm sitting there and I'm going, maybe they think I'm really nice.

You know, what I didn't realize was they thought I was a psychopath.

You know, they really did.

And, but that got me my first call from Mike Tannenbaum, who's the pro director with the Jets.

And he basically called me.

I had this like, at the end of the time, there was caller ID, you know, and I saw like New York Jets football club.

And when I grew up, I was a diehard Jets fan, you know.

And so I see this and I'm like, you know, which one of my boys is pranking me like this isn't funny and i'm like hello and it's like hey it's the new york jets and i'm like yeah

that's funny you know because at this time i was already rejected so much and mike got on the phone and he basically was like you know i got 15 minutes for you you know yeah i i'm calling you because i was looking through my resumes at the time that's how you did them and um after every one of my resumes is like a thank you letter from me basically saying we have nothing.

So like, what's your deal?

You know, what's your story?

So, and then I interview with the Jets with him and Coach Parcells, my first interview for a personnel job.

And I didn't get the job.

And I was talking here.

They were giving me this, like, keep us apprised of your plans, you know, which is basically probably their letter they gave to everyone.

And I made a connection with Joe Banner's assistant.

I said, call the Jets.

And

Joe Banner called Mike.

And he goes, is he really a psychopath?

And he's like, well, maybe you just interview him.

I might be.

And Joe interviewed me, found out I am, in fact, a psychopath, but for some reason hired me.

And that's how I'm That's awesome.

And then, and then in your growth, you know, getting your foot in the door, you came on as kind of a salary cap guy.

When did you like shed the salary?

I'm not just a salary cap guy, because I'm sure that was probably difficult to do.

Yeah, it was a different time, you know.

And so we started at the vet and Coach Reed had just started, and it was a really small organization.

And within a year, we made a change to GM and we brought in,

you know, a huge mentor to me.

And may he rest in peace, Tom Hecker.

And Tom was a young guy.

We brought him in.

I was a year in and I was the only holdover in the front office.

And so for him, he didn't know any different.

So like, he'd be like, what do you do?

I'm like, I do pro scouting, college scouting, cap.

And he's like, all right, cool.

You know,

maybe a little bit of a fib, you know, but, and, um, and then he started bringing in

people like Ryan Grigson and Matt Russell and Jason Light and John Spytech and, you know, these GMs now and around the league and just the staff.

And and we were all like in our 20s and you know we go to training camp in Lehigh and we'd hang out and we'd drink because there's nothing else to do until our staff meeting and just talk ball and and these are still some of my best friends in the world you know and um and so you know I had this like I guess it's it's how other people go through work, you know, and I guess, you know, you go to Google or Amazon and I was surrounded by these unbelievable people and Coach Reed and think about how many guys on that staff became head coaches, you know, and Jeffrey and Joe.

And it was just, you know, know, we're all, we're all products of who we're surrounded by.

And I was surrounded by such great people who gave me the insight.

And if I showed I could do something well, like Coach Reed used to say, listen, if you know the cap and you got that going on, I'll give you more, you know, and then if you start finding players, I'll give you more.

And that's what he did.

You know, I started doing pro scouting and then I found a little niche there.

And then he's like, you got to go on the road, you know?

I was like, I got to go on the road.

I got it all in front of me.

You know, I got to go on the road.

He goes, you got to go on the road.

And for two years, I was out on the road and doing 30 schools.

And, and it was, it was so smart by him because it was like, you need to feel what your scouts are feeling.

You know, you need to feel the frustrations of missing flights and, you know, going to schools that give you a lot of information that give you little information.

And, you know, I'm very fortunate that I was around people who gave me the opportunities that they did to be well-rounded.

You know, and then, you know, I got this GM job so young, but I was still surrounded by these great people.

I was Coach Reed and jeffrey and joe was our team president and um

and you think you know everything then you get your ass kicked yeah yeah understanding the cap is something that it's completely eluded us no we i think we have a general understanding of what a salary cap is but like the finer points of it and how you you know you can kick the cam down the road but then that can turn into cap hell like how how did you learn the ins and outs of the salary cap Yeah, I think really when I got here, there was no one better in the league than Joe Banner.

Like he was unbelievable.

And he was signing guys before everyone else was doing it.

He understood it.

And it was really like the early stages of the cap.

And so

I got like a graduate degree in that and understanding it.

And from my perspective, it's always about the players.

We could do as many creative deals as we want.

We could have as much cap room as we want, but we're not going to be any good if we don't have any good players.

And so we got to get as many good players as we possibly can.

For me, it's not about

winning some award for being under the cap or cap management.

It's about having really good players and winning a lot of games.

And so everything we're doing is in an effort to fit as many good players as we possibly can on every year's team as long as I'm here.

How creative have you gotten with the cap?

Well, you know what?

At this point, I got really good people on a day-to-day basis.

And basically I'm saying, like,

let's figure out ways to get creative.

You know,

let's sit down and let's figure out ideas.

Let's figure out ways.

Let's keep as many good players as we possibly can.

And also understanding that with that, we're going to have to lose players over a period of time.

Like if you look at us since 2022, we're in the Super Bowl in 2022.

Watch this.

Zero, zero of the defensive starters are still on our roster.

That's insane to me.

And it's not like they're not playing in the league.

You know, we have zero starters from that 2022 defense on our team, and we're three years later.

So, you know, there has to be a process where you're still kind of moving on and going forward.

And that's the hard part of this.

The guys that have done so much for this team, guys that you draft, that you care about as people, and you have to basically say, hey, we got to move on.

And it's like, why me?

Yeah.

You know, like, why me?

Well, you're keeping all those guys, you know?

So I think that's the worst part of the job.

Was there a rule, a cap rule, maybe like 10, 15 years ago that you were able to figure out before everyone else and then they maybe closed that loophole?

Because I always love that when front officers are thinking so far ahead that they end up having to change it because

you figured it out before everyone else.

Yeah, I'd probably have to think about that a little bit.

And again, I think the most important thing for us is

we have to bring talented players in.

None of this matters if we don't draft well,

if we don't re-sign the right players, none of that matters.

So from my perspective, the cap is a huge tool.

But again, it comes down to people, you know, and bringing in the right people into your building, the right players into your building.

And when you get a chance to draft guys, sign them, and see those guys, you know, come in at 22, 23, single, you know, and then retire with one team.

You know, they got kids, they got a family.

They're like, hey, I'm staying in Philly for the rest of my life.

I mean, it gives me chills talking about it.

Like, that's special shit.

Yeah.

Are you a Georgia merchant?

Are you allowed to say Georgia?

Yeah, shit.

Fuck.

Yeah, you can say shit, fucking say whatever you want.

Are you a Georgia merchant um

what does that mean you just you just take players from georgia it's like not that hard howie well you know that team's good i'm just gonna take all their players i went to the university of florida okay so that that's wow yeah can't beat them join them i know it's up so i you know i think from my perspective it's like um when you look at that georgia defense that won the national championship

That was an unbelievably talented team, you know, and to say like we go into the drafts and say, hey, let's go pick three guys from Georgia.

Who knows what everyone else is going to do?

You know, it's worked out that way, but it's really helped our team because when you have young players on defense, chemistry is important, communication is important.

And these guys have played a lot of high-level ball together.

And so you have this young group of guys who have already that history together.

So some of the learning curve, some of the learning curve is gone because of that.

And it's kind of special to see.

You know, it's kind of special to watch, you know, when Nacobe's playing linebacker and he knows what Jordan Davis and Jalen Carter is going to do and Nolan's going to do, and then he can look back and he sees Keylay.

Like, it's, it's like they've, which I have, they played together for a long time.

You get the same benefit that you get from a defense that has been together for three, four, five years.

So it's pretty cool.

Yeah.

And also, just the concept of drafting good college football players is a smart, that's a smart concept for you to bring into the NFL.

It's like, yeah, these guys were national champions.

I think they're probably pretty good.

Is he taking a shot at my ear?

No, no, no.

He's not taking a college.

I'm just kidding.

No, I'm kidding.

It's very funny for people to overthink it and be like wow he just takes georgia players but i mean they're pretty good at football yeah and and i think like as a young g and and you know what you like i'm sure i mean you guys are great but experience does matter a little bit you know you don't think that when you don't have experience like that i don't need experience and then you get it and it goes back to this grit part like you got to make mistakes and i make a lot of mistakes so For me, if I don't learn from the things I'm doing and correct them, then I'm not that smart.

So you got to go back and look where have I made mistakes.

And I can tell you where I've made mistakes, why I've made mistakes.

And if I do them again, well, then that's a problem.

Yeah.

Do you think that other GMs are afraid to pick up your calls sometimes?

I would say, in all honesty, that my favorite trades are good, good, you know, and I really, I really don't, I hate that, you know, because I'm really looking to give fair value.

You know,

I hope not, you know, because everything that I'm doing,

it's a small fraternity.

I mean, there's not even 32 of us because

some GMs are owners, you know, or other people or head coaches.

So you look at it and it's like, you don't want anyone to get shit for a bad deal.

I've gotten shit for a bad deal.

It doesn't feel good.

So if you can find win-win situations, you know, if I have a need and you have a need and I can help fill it and it works, especially if you're in the AFC and we don't got to play you to the Super Bowl, that's a beautiful thing, you know.

And I think that's the key.

Let's try to find something that works.

Are you addicted to accumulating draft picks?

You have 13 coming up?

13.

13.

Do you kind of go to bed at night and be like, maybe like a little note under your pillow, being like, I got 13 draft picks coming up?

Because I would, that's fun to have.

You know, that's a good number.

It's a good number.

It's a good number.

The chances that it stays that way before the draft next year are probably.

You're going to get more, you're saying?

Or trade it out, you know?

Yeah, whatever it takes, it's like it gives you an option to improve the team this year.

It gives you an option to improve the the team next year, maybe even the year after.

I think the way it worked,

the only upside to losing good players is the comp pick form.

So we were able to get that, but lost a lot of good players for that.

But you know what's really fun during training camp is when you get to watch college players now and you're like, I know the drafts in May, but this is a great time, especially a day like today where we have a walkthrough and you can watch college guys and go, man,

I get to see that guy.

And maybe we got a chance at this guy, you know, because of the amount of picks that we have.

Do you still ever get out on the road to see anybody in person?

I haven't the last couple of years, but my oldest son is going to college in the fall, and it's going to give me an excuse to kind of go out.

The last time I went out, I didn't go out all last year.

The year before, in 2023, I went out to a couple of schools, SEC,

but I'll make it to the ACC this year.

You know,

we got

a Hall of Fame coach in the ACC.

Now, my son's going to a school into the ACC, so I'll get a little ACC action.

Can you still, like to this day, is it so much different seeing somebody in person than it is watching all the film that you can get your hands on?

I think that

at certain positions, you got to see live, you know, and you could see live at the senior bowl.

You could see live at the combine.

When you're talking about a quarterback, like you want to see that guy throw.

You want to see how the ball comes off the fan.

You want to feel the velocity.

You want to feel the arm talent.

You want to feel the presence, you know, of that guy.

I think that the information that we get, you can do so much work at your desk.

You know, we used to go to camp in Lehigh, you know, and we didn't have all our systems set up.

But it's fun.

There's nothing better than going to a college campus and walking around and getting the energy that you get from it and going to practice.

But, you know, a great GM told me a long time ago, he said, you know,

he said it's hard.

You know, you never see the captain of the ship go ashore.

You know, and so he said, for his perspective, it was hard to get out during the course of the year.

And And that always stuck with me.

You know, I heard that in 2015, Ernie Corsi, what a great GM.

And he said that.

And for me, it was like every time that I would go out as a GM, and I used to go out more in my first phase of it, the phone would ring.

And they go, hey, what about this?

What about this?

What about this?

And so

you spend half your time on the phone.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What's your best draft pick?

They're like fingers on your hand, man.

Give me the the top three.

Well, I'll tell you from my perspective, like

what was really cool is,

you know, my first draft was 2010.

That was BG.

My second draft was 2011.

That was Jason Kelsey.

My third draft was 2012, Fletch.

My fourth draft was 2013, Lane.

And then I got my ass kicked, right?

I got my ass kicked.

I was out for a year.

And

those guys always stood by me.

They always believed.

They always trusted me.

They had always had my back.

You know, it would have been very easy for them when times were down to just kind of not do that.

So those four guys have been with me so long.

And so

to not have those guys here, you know, losing some of those guys.

Thank gosh, we still have Lane.

But those four guys, we had just been through so much together, you know?

Literally life and death, births and families and championships.

And so those guys are special, but that doesn't mean they're more special to me than, you know, all the all-pro players we got on this team right now that I care about.

It's just a cool, special story to have those four guys.

You know, before really we had the success, we had made the playoffs together and done stuff, but to see those guys win a world championship in 17 together.

Yeah.

When you say you were out for a year, did they actually move you all the way across the building?

Yeah.

That kind of sucks.

Yeah, yeah.

It was humbling for sure.

And for me, it was probably the best thing that happened to me because

I was so fortunate early in my career to keep moving and keep moving forward and

be a young GM and to take a step back and to understand some of the things I did and some of the things I could do better.

Certainly never thought I'd come back here and be the GM, but I got a chance to visit with so many great people, like unbelievable people, mostly in the sports world, but also in the business world.

And I think it really shaped me

to kind of help come back and,

you know, be fortunate to have some of the success we've had here.

What was your job title for that one year?

Didn't matter.

They just picked one?

It didn't matter.

It was really like, you know, I felt like my most important thing was I had to support the people that counted on me.

You know, and a lot of us have been together.

You know, our security, I mean, everyone knows Big Dom, you know,

our equipment guys, our video guys, our training staff.

Like, we had been together so long.

And so, like, for me, it was like, don't worry about me.

If there's anything I could do to help you, just let me know.

You know, what can I do to support you?

And I just felt like I needed to do that the right way.

Like, it was so important that I did it the right way and was positive and brought energy no matter how shitty I felt, you know.

So it was a great learning experience.

And I think, again, like,

I don't know that I would trade it for anything, even though, you know, it did suck.

suck.

And you won a Super Bowl two years later.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Are you worried that, like, if you have a couple down years that

Jeffrey is like, we're going to move Howie across the building just out of like good luck, and then we'll win a Super Bowl two years later?

Yeah, you know.

I would do that if I were the owner.

Oh, would you?

Yeah, I'd be like, wait, what worked last time?

Something about that building.

I think I'm over that.

I think I'm over that.

I think I'm going to keep Philly walking.

Yeah, okay, fair.

Did you think about leaving when that happened?

I think most people would.

Yeah, I don't know that, you know, I think the thing for me was

Philly's hard.

So I knew, you know, how it came down kind of hard.

It wasn't like I had job offers like being thrown at me during the time, you know, because of how much shit I was taking.

So I just felt like I had to deal with it.

I had to deal with it.

I had to deal with, again, like to me,

I dealt with adversity before, but to me, that was a huge lesson for my kids, you know, the people around me.

Like, I'm going to take this like a man.

I'm going going to be a stand-up guy.

I'm going to do whatever I can to help people who've helped me be in the position I am.

And, you know, we'll see where we are in a year.

You know, I didn't think that I would be in that role, you know, for a long time.

But

again,

I think it was really good for me.

And it really reminded me of my values in football, what I was looking for.

And a lot of the things that I did as a GM for those first four years weren't really consistent with how I had visions of really doing it.

So

except drafting BG, Kelsey, Lane, and Fletch.

Do you think that part of the shit that you take is because it's so fun to say fucking Howie?

Is it fun?

Fucking it's yes, it is very funny.

Fucking Howie.

Let's hear it.

Let's hear it.

Say it.

Max Giving Howard.

Come on, Cole.

Fucking Howie.

No, no, no.

That was a different fucking Howie.

You need it in a positive Howie.

That was the happy.

That was the Howie's in the back.

You told me to say fucking Howie.

That's not

the way you.

Here, I'll do it.

Ready?

Jalen Rager.

Fucking Howie.

There you go.

Do you ever, do you ever, like,

just, like, you know, dangering what Justin Jefferson would have been saying?

I think that everything,

all my mistakes, everything that we've done has led us to a certain point.

And you know what's the hardest thing is like

I can tell you

every pick of the picks in this sixth and seventh round free agent sign is I fucked up.

Like I my mind is so fucked up that that's what I think about all the time.

Yeah.

I think about the mistakes and I'm like, man, what was I thinking?

What was I doing?

And at the end of the day, it goes back to your point.

You know, sometimes you draft for need.

Sometimes you draft for a role, you know, and you're going, man, you know, we really need this role.

We really need this position and this player.

And that's all the times you mess up.

It's just too hard to find good players.

And when you start saying, like, I got to find this role, I got to find this position.

And so now what I say is, like, a team's going to win the Super Bowl this year.

Hopefully it's us or our team last year.

We weren't perfect.

You know, you could go before the Super Bowl.

I'm sure you guys were saying, hey, I'm worried about this on the Eagles.

You know,

the Chiefs won two Serbs before.

I'm sure you're looking at their team and going.

hey,

this is their weakness.

Every team's going to have a weakness.

And if you think you're going to come out of draft and get every need fixed, you're probably at a shitty draft.

Yeah.

You know, and so it's like, you just got to take good players.

It's so hard to find good players.

You accumulate good players, hopefully at important positions, and everything else works out.

And so I think like when I think about my mistakes, it's like going into an offseason and saying, we need this, you know, well, you can't make something up.

You can't invent something, you know?

And so I think that that is probably my biggest lesson in the free agent draft process.

Like

if you go into it saying, I need something, and then you change your grades, you change kind of your criteria for the position, you're probably going to fuck it up.

Is it intentional?

Because I've noticed this with your drafts and I'm wondering if it's intentional, but you have at times been like, hey, we're stacking kind of the same position where it's now something that maybe was a weakness is a super strength because we have depth there as well.

Is that an intentional thing?

Like, yeah, no doubt.

No doubt.

We're not just going to be like, oh, we took a cornerback, so we can't take another cornerback.

Yeah, especially if we're talking like the third day of the draft, you know, we'll double down on stuff, the understanding that it's hard to hit on third day picks, you know, so we'll double down on guys with unique skill sets who may need development, you know, and I think from our perspective,

the biggest problem you get into is if you don't take shots on those.

You know, I'll say to our staff, hey, we have a year or two before this becomes a big fucking problem.

So we better take, if we don't get one early, we better take chance on guys who have traits, who have football character, who we think we can develop because, you know, this is still a developmental league.

And at the end of the day, when you look at it, there's no other profession.

I love when I said I've never worked in any other industry, I've never gotten to be in any other, but there's no other profession where

you go into and you expect the person in their first year to be elite.

And we do have those expectations.

We expect the rookies to perform like veteran players and perform elite.

And if they're not, they're shitty, you know?

And I think from our perspective, if guys have tools in their body, they have the mindset, they want to be developed with our coaching staff, with our performance people, with our developmental people, what can we get out of them?

And

you get a little cocky when you get a Jordan Mulata.

You get a little cocky.

You start going, man, we get traits and want to.

And, you know, maybe something like that happens, probably never happened again.

Are you only a cycle like this about football, or are there other sports that you thought you might want to work in?

Nothing else, nothing else, uh, always football.

I mean, I liked playing other sports, um, but to me, I, the team building aspect, this sport, it was always that you know, someone said that to me the year I was out: hey, would you want to get involved in baseball or basketball?

I love football.

Um,

the

every aspect of it, I love.

I love the competitiveness, um, I love the talent level of our players, I love the skill level of the coaches in this and the competitiveness, you know.

And I really feel like it's the greatest game with the greatest people and feel very fortunate to be part of it.

You're pretty good at it.

I'm curious to know: like, if you're making a phone call

and let's say there's a player on another team that you're interested in inquiring about, do you call and do you say, do you have an offer for them ready?

Or you do ask them, what would it take to get this guy?

Yeah, I will first, you know, I don't like, I feel like a lot, I used to waste a lot of time.

I'm watch a guy and then call.

So most of the time I'll say,

this is what I'm looking for.

Would you be open?

I haven't even watched the guy.

And then I'll call back and then I'll try to be direct on kind of compensation and where we're at on it

because I like when people are direct with me.

So if a guy's not going to be available, I don't want to waste the three hours to watch him, do work on him, do cohab on him, and do all that.

I'd rather see when something's real and then work the shit out of it and try to bring it to a head.

So if Adam Peters called you up and said, I'm interested in Big Dom.

Probably the wrong is out.

Big Dom does that?

I'm interested in Big Dom.

What would it take to get Big Dom?

Well, it's funny because it's funny you said that because we did a coaching search and I take Big Dom with me.

I take Big Dom with me wherever I can.

You know, why wouldn't you?

Yeah.

It's fucking fun.

We like food.

I thought you were going to ask me if I was passionate about anything else like football and I was going to say food.

I think I have a tapeworm, undiagnosed tapeworm.

But

and we took him with head coaching interviews.

I won't name the team, but after we hired Nick,

other coaches got hired from that coaching cycle that we interviewed.

And one of the GM, one of the coaches I saw at the combine, he's like, man, I love Dom, you know?

And the GM comes up to me and he said,

I'm going to take Dom from you.

I'm like, oh, you are?

You are.

And he goes, yeah, I'm going to take Dom.

And he's like, I'm going to offer him.

And he gives me the number.

And I go,

my man, you are so far fucking off on Dom.

I want you to go talk to Dom and offer that to him, knowing that Dom's going to go,

what are you talking about?

But, you know, certain people just,

you know,

make this job even more fun

than it is.

And being with him and being able to do this with him and relying on him, you know,

yeah, because we obviously have fun with Big Dom.

We know him, and he's a great guy, so welcoming.

But like, you've talked about it.

You do rely on him for your draft analysis where it's like, hey, take a look at this guy, let us know what he's made of, kind of thing.

So, is he actively like helping you guys out?

Where it's like, hey, I can figure out, you know, is this guy going to be wired the right way for us?

Yeah, I mean, I'm

22 years with Dom, me and Dom.

And we started, you know, I started on the side of the table of the vet, and he started, you know, sleeping in hotel lobbies doing backup security, you know.

So we started together, and we have an unbelievable bond.

And again, like

marriages, births, deaths, like we've been through it all.

And so I totally trust him with my life.

And so from my perspective, he's got a great feel for players.

You know, he understands players.

He understands our players.

He understands what we need, what I'm looking for.

And so if I'm torn on a guy, I'm torn on the guy's fit, I'll send him down.

You know, I'll say, hey, go to this school and go hang with this guy, go to the combine, spend an hour or two with this guy, and

I need you to sign off on him.

Right.

You know, and

I don't even tell him what he knows I'm interested because I won't waste his time.

But from my perspective, because I know if that guy comes in and has an issue and I haven't gone through it, well, it's my fault.

You know, it's very easy for me to do.

And all he wants to do is help this team win.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He seems like the best.

What about yourself?

Do you evaluate yourself?

And I would imagine that if you did, you're probably evaluated on different metrics from ownership than you might evaluate yourself on a day-to-day basis, right?

Yeah, I think what for me,

I have incredible passion for this.

I go to bed at night thinking about our team and our roster.

I wake up in the morning, think about it.

You know, I go on vacation thinking about it.

I love it.

I love it.

I have incredible passion for it.

And I think that it's probably hard to work for me because I have incredibly high standards.

And, you know,

I know there's a lot of these books that talk about like, you know, don't micromanage, you know, like give people the leeway to do it.

Well, you know,

I tell Nick, you know, those are probably not people who have a Wikipedia page with their record on it.

You know, like at the end of the day, we have a record, you know, we win or we lose, and there's a right way to do things in the wrong way.

And I feel like we have a process, and when that process gets out of hand, I get upset.

You know, I want it to be the right way because it is really hard to win in this league, and we're competing against great teams.

And so, you know, when it doesn't go that way,

you know, I'm going to take it over.

And I want to be involved in every single thing that we do.

I want to know everything that we're doing.

There won't be a guy that we bring into this building that I don't watch, you know, because at the end of the day,

I say to our scouts, if you like a guy,

tell me.

And I will watch him.

But we're not going to draft him if I don't know about him, you know, because I don't want to stand up in front of God and everyone and talk about a player that I have no idea who he is.

And I'm not saying that's right or wrong, but that's how I feel.

So from my standard, it's my responsibility.

You know, I got to take accountability when things don't go right.

And I'm not going to be perfect, but I'm going to try my best to be perfect.

And so, the mistakes kill me, you know.

And I think about our, you know, our process, you know, in free agency, if I could have had another guy and went another direction, I think about what I'm thinking about in that, why I made that decision.

If I'm picking between two guys in the draft, I let the other guy go, I will follow that guy freaking religiously and beat the shit out of myself on it.

And I just, I want us to be great.

You know, I really do.

So how many do does every scout get a stand on the table?

Like, does my guy?

You know, we do, we do, we do, we have a red star meeting where guys get to put a red star on one guy in the draft

and basically talk about why they're their favorite player.

And that's character, play temperament, skill set.

And it's really fun.

It's a fun meeting to do.

And we end up taking a lot of those guys

because those guys those guys are easy to like you know our guys know what we're looking for um and so that they're guys that that are fun and when we go through our drafts you'll see our our content team will always come up and they'll show a red star meeting and it'll be like oh we got that guy we got that guy yeah because those are the guys we're passionate about does it have to be within the range of your pick because i would just cheat if i was a scout and i like this year i would have been like abdul carter yeah that's my red star yeah i love that you got to bring a giant into philadelphia

do they have to be in the range uh they they don't they don't okay.

So I guess they really don't.

They could just take the number one consensus pick every year.

Yeah.

I mean,

it wouldn't show a lot of growth as a scout.

That doesn't matter.

I'm fine with plateau on the fire.

If I can work for an NFL team, March Manning.

No problem.

Red Star.

Red Star.

Red Star guy.

I'm fine with that.

I know.

But everyone's in the room.

Our coordinator's in the room.

Our owner's in the room.

You know, all of us are in the room.

Yeah, think about how sick it would be if they're like, oh, damn, Abdul Carter was pretty good.

Told everybody smart.

I mean, how do you think I react in that moment moment right there?

I'm gone.

I give that glare up.

Yeah, so do you know that this show, fuck it, Alex?

This show is actually listened to by a lot of scouts, which always shocks us whenever we go on the road.

And they always are like, yeah, we just want to turn our brains off and listen to basically two guys be wrong about football.

Oh, yeah.

And I take that as a compliment.

You know what?

We're on par with this.

Perfect.

I can join in.

Perfect.

But they just, they're like, we're like, you listen to us.

You know so much about football.

We know nothing.

And they're like, yeah, that's that's the fun of it because i we just kind of laugh at i'm glad i can

i can add to that because you know what you know what's funny when you're swigging that i thought you were swigging mezcal oh that'd be wild

you brought a nice gift of mezcal for everybody you're gonna get a strong i'm excited for it yeah thank you fascaro mescal

has anybody ever pitched you some like crazy pseudoscience like i think i've got i i cracked the code to figure out whether guys are going to be winners or not oh my gosh i delete those emails oh we

we have one you want one what we got well i was i was just gonna say yeah if you have long hair you can't win a super bowl as a quarterback as a quarterback never been done never been done

interesting yeah think about something to think about howie something to think about so that's you have a quarterback now but you know in 10 years 15 years

jalen plays for a long time you're still here long hair quarterback is at any point in their life or no it's probably happening because tom brady has had long hair right so they so if we get a quarterback with long hair 15 years from now jalen's career is done and he comes in i can tell him to cut his hair and then we're good yeah it's over yeah

these are the things we thought send me that email right now yeah remember this

why don't I just give you the key to the the kingdom she kept that one to myself

I just like the the draft advice that Bill Belichick said which is I like drafting guys with big asses yeah look at their do you spend time looking at guys asses and be like that's an NFL ass I I really feel like that's a loaded question right there you know

so I'm gonna stay away from that one you know body types He's got a motor.

He's got a motor.

Yeah, but you need a big ass.

All right.

Well, Howie, this has been awesome.

I have one last question.

Roback question.

R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com.

Promo code take.

20% off your first purchase.

Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, roback.com, promo code take.

At what point of the season?

Have you been an auctioneer in your past life?

Pretty good.

It's freaking good.

It's basically our play call.

Yeah.

So I have it down.

It's the only one I can get.

At what point of the season do you have to

let go?

Is that a weird question?

Because I know, obviously, there's always fringe moves you can make, but is there a moment in the season that you're like, I kind of cooked it.

Let's just see how it goes out.

How it's going to go.

I always joke, you know, I'll say to Nick

on roster cut day, once we do practice squads, like, oh, let's go.

Like, I'll like throw him a key.

As I'm like leaving that night, I'll throw him a keys and I'm like, here are the keys you drive.

Yeah.

And,

but that's not really true because we still got the trade deadline.

I feel like it's really a trade deadline.

Yeah.

After the trade deadline, it's like, this is what we got.

Is that a nerve-wracking thing or kind of a freeing thing?

It's a nerve-wracking thing because at the end of the day, shit happens in the NFL and you lose guys.

And at that point, you're all in, you know, and you can't really do anything about it.

And

if something happens, you're going to have to find different ways to do it.

And I think from my perspective, being in this so long, you've had times where you get to November and December and you lose somebody and you're like, damn, I wish the trade deadline was still going.

But, you know, that's why we got depth.

That's why we bring in a lot of good players, and that's why we have a team.

And so I think that's really the moment where it's just like, all right, you know, I'm on to 2026, and

this is what we got.

You know, it's interesting because last year we didn't make any trades at the trade deadline, which is like unusual.

You know, I'm sure you were saying, fucking how.

Fucking how.

That was probably the last one.

Yeah,

we don't really do that often at the trade deadline.

They should make it later.

Because teams would get more.

Teams would get more desperate and there'd be more activity, but they want to keep, I understand, they want to also keep interest alive, more teams in the playoffs.

You know, you don't want to do it.

It's just like what you talk about, like, nobody's making a trade that they don't think is in the best interest of their team.

Like, nobody has some Jedi Montrix shit going on that it's like, you will do this move with me.

And then it's like, it happens.

You know, I thought you just did it to me.

Yeah, if there's anyone, it's you.

But yeah, go ahead.

Way to get us off the sand.

Yeah, you can take Jane Daniels.

But I think that

that is a constant conversation.

We moved it a little bit later this year, and we continue to have discussions like that because it is fun.

You know, I mean, I even you asked about other sports, like, I will watch the baseball trade deadline.

Curious because I have a lot of friends who are GMs in baseball.

Like, what are they doing?

How are they adding to their team?

And I love, I don't know all those players as well, but I love seeing how teams are doing that, how aggressive they get in an effort to win a championship because

when that confetti falls, man,

it's got to feel pretty good to be a smaller one.

What do you just rip it off?

Yeah, that's what it sounded like.

That's what you're seeing.

You just got a good rip.

That was you, Shane?

Shane, did you just rip one?

In front of Howie?

Fucking Shane.

How could you do that?

Fix Howie, Shane.

Howie Roseman is brought to you by Wayfair.

They know as summer winds down, you can get back into a routine that you will love with Wayfair.

From bedding and linens to storage solutions for every room in the house, Wayfair is your one-stop shop.

Refresh your workspace with desks, bookcases, and office chairs for way less, or make weeknight dinners a thing again.

They got quality cookware.

It makes mealtime a breeze.

There's something for every style, every home, no matter your space or budget.

Wayfair makes it easy to tackle your home goals with endless inspiration for every space and budget.

Free and easy delivery, even on the big stuff.

No more huge delivery fees for furniture.

Get big stuff like sofas, dining tables, beds, desks, and more ship-free.

I might have to get some outdoor furniture.

I got the hammock, the hammock set up.

You know me, I'm a hammock guy.

I might get a second hammock, dueling hammocks, or maybe some nice outdoor furniture.

We'll see.

I'm getting on Wayfair, though.

Get organized, refresh, and get back to a routine for way less.

Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home.

That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com.

Wayfair, every style, every home.

And next up, we have Von Miller, Washington Commander, and he's going to be brought to you by our good friends over at Chevy.

For over a century, Chevy has been building trucks that don't flinch, they never quit.

Whether you're hauling lumber on the job or you're trying to get the smoker, the cooler, the cornhole boards, and the whole crew to the tailgate on time, Chevy gets you there.

When Chevy says most dependable truck, they're not just speculating.

Chevy trucks have earned more dependability awards for trucks than any other brand, according to JD Power 2025.

Sounds like they've got the stats to prove it.

In every Chevy truck, dependability comes standard.

For more on Chevy trucks, visit Chevy.com and visit jdpower.com slash awards for more award details and now here's von miller

okay we now welcome on a very very very special guest recurring guest i think fourth time yeah fourth time it is uh von miller this is grit week presented by hey dude von miller on the washington commanders i feel like we're just following you around because i think we interviewed you in denver in buffalo and now here

uh great to talk to you actually we might have interviewed you in la too yeah

We're on a world tour, man.

Yeah, we're doing it.

So we start every grit week interview the same.

What does the word grit mean to you?

Grit,

you know, I'm thinking of the work type of fashion.

And, you know, that's coming in, working, early mornings, late nights, barely eating, just putting the work in.

If I'm thinking of like the other grit, it's that grit that's in the bottom of your shoe and you walk around with no socks on.

Well, I take the first one, though.

I just want to take the first one.

Yeah.

The way you described it, it sounded like you were talking about chickens.

Yeah, right?

Yeah, I mean,

you know, chicken farming is a gritty job, too.

Let's talk about the birds.

Yeah, they're gritty.

They're gritty too.

Wake up early.

Don't eat that much.

Go to sleep late.

Yeah.

Produce everything for you.

You know, it's funny.

It's funny because when somebody calls you a chicken, it's kind of like cowardly.

But if you ever like watch like roosters in the coop, they're really some of the toughest animals in the animal kingdom, though.

They're pretty cool.

We got to take that word back.

we gotta i feel the same way about the word pussy pussies are like the strongest things ever like they're think about it like delicious it's so strong

we all come from one yeah it made us who we are today yeah see yeah we all in we in the same spot yeah yeah

all right so how's how's the uh you know you sign with the commanders you're on the commanders you're new um really actually the only question i was really worried about asking you is have you farted around the guys no not yet okay but are you what are you yeah yeah are you holding it back on purpose?

I'm with I'm with the guys we all grown men if I have to do it like I'm gonna do it, but you know I only been on the team for it's uh It's been a week and a day.

Okay, because your reputation does precede yourself

They'll see they'll see but I haven't I haven't got there yet.

I haven't got there yet.

Are you waiting for somebody else to fart?

And then no, I just I don't know what it is.

I don't know if it's my diet now or whatever it is.

I just haven't it hasn't been crazy like it normally has man.

I don't know what's going on.

Are you nervous that like the first one like, you know, I'm gonna let it rip squeaker.

I'm gonna let it

let it rip and I'm not gonna show a reaction at all and I'm just gonna act like it's normal.

That's Dan Quinn's favorite saying.

Let it rip.

Yeah, I'm gonna let it rip.

I'm gonna let it rip and I'm 36 years old with other grown men.

I'm not gonna have a reaction at all.

Okay.

So so when you signed with the commanders, I was telling these guys like 30 minutes later, I got a DM from you saying like, when are we going to do the podcast?

You were excited to come a part of my team.

Is there any take that you're like looking to get off your chest?

No, I just, you know, I really enjoy the show, man, and and I just wanted to keep it going.

And I know this is your team, and, you know, I just wanted to be a part of it again.

I love it.

We appreciate you, and welcome to D.C.

Can you still get after the passer?

Yeah, I can still do that.

That's one of the easiest things.

That's what I do best in life.

You know, I might not be as fast or as quick as I was like when I was 21 years old, but

that's one of my gifts.

That's what I do better than anything else.

And I rush the passer.

You know, I'm a comedian.

Y'all supposed to laugh.

Yeah, no, I laughed.

I was waiting for a fart.

I was going to say, that's really funny.

But yeah, I mean, rushing a pastor is just one of my gifts, man.

And like I said before, it might not be like it was when I was 21, but I'm still pretty effective.

Have you thought about how many years you have left?

Is it like in your mind?

Or are you just trying to be like, hey, I'm taking it year to year?

Yeah, I'm just taking it year by year, man.

You know, whatever God gives me, I'm going to take it.

You know, I had said before, you know, you don't want to get kicked out the league, but you don't want to leave too early.

And I'm still in that sweet spot, man.

I still get butterflies in my stomach when I'm going to work.

And I still enjoy going to practice.

I enjoy being around the guys.

I still enjoy playing football in the National Football League.

So as long as God gives me an opportunity to do it, I'll do it.

You obviously enjoyed your time in Buffalo.

Did you like the cold weather?

Yeah, it grew on me.

It definitely grew on me.

You know, I actually started to love the cold weather.

The whole Buffalo Bills fan base and the whole Buffalo Bills organization, they're just the shade of the quarterback and the head coach.

And they have a really great head coach with Coach McDermott and Josh Allen is fucking Josh Allen.

So that whole city, that whole organization, that whole fan base is just the shade of those two guys.

Buffalo is a hard place to get to, but it's even harder to leave, man.

And I'm going to miss those guys, man.

I'm going to miss Brandon Bean.

You know, I'm going to miss those guys.

Nate Breske, Joe Mika,

Ed Oliver,

Greg Russo.

All of my guys that I I kicked it with, Josh Allen, man, I'm going to miss those guys.

Did you end up having a favorite wings place?

You know,

I didn't.

You know, I'm,

you know, I'm a chicken guy.

Yeah.

So all the wings were great.

All the wings were great, but you know, I spent most of my time at home too.

You know, I got kids and stuff.

So my chef was really good.

My chef Nick, shout out to Chef Nick.

Shout out to Chef Nick.

Yeah, he did a great job, man.

And

he made sure we had everything at home.

So I spent a lot of time at home.

Yeah, definitely.

You look like you're in pretty good shape.

Yep.

Best shape of your life?

I wouldn't say the best shape.

That's a good honest answer.

I wish I had the best shape, but I'm in pretty good shape.

And honestly, out of my 15 years playing in National Football League, this is probably the best I've felt two weeks

into training camp.

DQ does a great job.

There's no pride or no ego behind it.

He's not trying to get the guys callous.

He's not trying to make the guys hard.

He wants the guys to

be healthy.

He wants us to be sharp on our playbook sharp on our assignments wants us to be tough guys for sure but he wants us to be healthy uh most importantly man and i really appreciate that what so the best shape of your life we joke about it because training camp starts and every media you know outlet is like oh here this guy's shocking everyone do you guys see that do you do you like you know see the media talking about it and be like all right this is just training camp like who the fuck cares yeah i mean it's really not much to talk about right at this point

except that yeah except that it happens every single year it's really not much to talk about, you know, but you know, the

headlines will come soon enough, and we just got to get out this phase of

the first two weeks of training camp.

Then we start playing preseason games, and then there'd be more to talk about for sure.

Yeah, what's your mindset in terms of like young pass rushers?

Do you fall into the camp of people who are like, yeah, I'm going to mentor them, I'm going to work with them, show them what I know?

Or are you like, that's not really my job to teach them?

That's the coaching staff's job.

My job is to make the roster and have a starting spot.

My job is to

make sure we have the best team that we possibly can have.

If that's working with the young pass rushers, cool.

If that's talking to the third string safety, cool.

If that's giving input on special teams, cool.

If that's talking to coach about stuff that I did at other places, cool.

All I want to do is win.

And I do whatever it takes to win.

You know, when I was young, I used to hate when the old guys used to come up to me and be like, oh, we used to do it like that.

I always do it like this.

You know, back in my day, I never wanted to be that guy.

So as I get older, I'll probably, I do more listening.

I do more listening than anything else.

But if it's a place for me to interject some knowledge, if guys ask me a question, man, I'm an open book.

I love, you know, paying information that I have for.

And it's not nothing that's coming from me.

It's things that I've learned from, you know, Demarcus Ware, Aaron Donald, Peyton Manning, Andrew Whitworth.

All the information that I've, that has been paid to me before, I just pay it forward.

So I'm not telling none of the guys none of the stuff that I was doing.

I'm telling the guys what I should be doing.

But I do more listening than I do talking.

All right, along those lines,

has there been anyone in all your travels who has asked you to teach them the ghost move and they've been able to actually do it?

Yeah,

yeah, AJ Epanessa

in Buffalo.

You know, we talked a lot, we talked about a lot about past rushing moves.

And he's like 6'6 ⁇ , 6'5 ⁇ , 6'6.

And he's real, real bendy.

And he was able to do it.

But I told those guys, like, out of 129 sacks, like, I probably got a sack on a ghost move five times.

But it looks so cool yeah that's what gets highlighted the spins and all that stuff but you know I tell them like that's just the curveball that's just the knuckleball that's not what I'm leading with I like to get off the ball as fast as possible and just I'm just able to react to whatever the offensive lineman is doing I'm not a big move guy I honestly think pass rush moves are are overrated really yeah out of my 129 sacks

90 95% 90 95 sacks have come off some type of speed to power element so my stress is speed so I win mostly on power power guys you know their stress is is power and they win on finesse move so it's just the opposite it's just playing a mind game but honestly i i really do think you know pass first moves are overrated you're saying because you're a speed guy you win a lot on power because they're set up for the speed and then you hit them with the power yes sir that's awesome that's i mean yeah i mean i guess that would make sense and it's just it's it's something that we love watching the highlight ones but when it comes down to it the stronger faster guys usually win yeah it's how fast you can get from point a to point b and not really a big move guy.

Most of my sights come from some type of speed to power element.

Ghost move is awesome, though.

It is cool.

Because then the guy looks and he's blocking nothing.

And it gets a lot of views and everybody likes doing it.

But like, you know, honestly, I don't, I don't do that stuff a lot, but it's just the knuckleball off of my speed rush.

If the ghost move doesn't work, then that looks really bad on you.

Yeah.

You, you 15 yards up the field and the guy's saying, what is he doing?

And then quarterbacks scramble and go for a first down and everybody looking at you crazy.

Yeah, for sure.

When stuff don't work, that's on and off the football field when you're trying something and you're trying to hit a home run and it don't work you you definitely look stupid out there so in all your travels have you run across a teammate that has been like dude you kiss your dad on the lips

no man that was like so that was bro that was years ago that was years ago that was a wild face time

it was as a father you can appreciate now like i still talk to my dad about that though i still talk to my dad about that though and you know whenever like i'm watching you know it sometimes it comes up with tom brady and stuff but yeah if my dad watching that you know, I still try to kiss my dad on the lips, too.

But his reaction, Tom, as he's gotten older, he's gotten a whole lot faster.

Like, he'll be asleep, and I try to like come kiss him on the lips, and he'd just be up quick.

Like,

he'd just be up.

I've been trying to do it ever since then, but he's like, you know, he's up, he's, he's on top of it now.

What about your skin move?

You got to go, you got to go power on him.

Yeah, I just, I got to just hold his arms down.

Yeah.

He would be so pissed.

He would be so pissed.

What about your kids?

Are they, are they going the the other way where they're like, because you're trying to kiss him on the lips?

No, I don't.

So honestly, like, I don't do that with my kids, but my oldest son, Valor, he's a class clown.

Like, he is just, he's the identical version of me.

So I know whenever he gets older, I'm going to catch so much hell from Valor.

And, you know, when he sees this interview 20 years from now, he'll probably be holding me down and forcing me to kiss him.

But no,

I don't really like ingrained in those guys early.

No, I don't.

You holding your dad down and getting kissed on the lips is so funny.

Gotcha.

It's so funny.

You did ayahuasca with Aaron Rodgers.

How was that?

It was amazing.

I didn't know what to expect.

You know, done magic mushrooms and all that shit before.

I wasn't sure what to expect.

I was invited by Jordan Poirier.

And when I went, I didn't even know A-Rod was coming until we got out there and he told me Aaron Rodgers was coming.

I had met A-Rod before and we got like a personal relationship before.

We used to work out at Proactive in LA, played against him a whole bunch bunch of times.

But I didn't really know what to expect, man.

And, you know, that ceremony went in and just spending that week with A-Rod, man, it was definitely life-changing.

Really?

People ask me about ayahuasca and what it does.

Really, it just boils down to it just creates awareness about everything in your life.

And

it was definitely eye-opening for me.

And I try to go back at least once a year for sure.

Yeah, what about that tent that's so hot?

So that's the Tet Mascal.

It's really like a sauna.

Yeah.

It's got like a spiritual element of it.

You know,

whenever you do hard things and you're able to get through it's this sense of empowerment um it has so many different like meanings involved in it too you know the night before uh i think it was our second ceremony like i was just sweating like crazy and you know you're supposed to be quiet in the ceremony and i was like bro i I couldn't be quiet.

I was like, bro,

there's no fucking way

this hot in here.

And everybody started laughing and we talking about it like the next day.

And it was like, you know, we got Tim Mascal the next day.

And I was like, man, I don't know if I'm going to be able to do it.

Like, I'm going get in here and like I'm not gonna be the first one to leave but when somebody leaves I'm gonna be the second one yeah yep but we just everybody just kept everybody accountable and nobody left so I had to like tough it out man and I'm glad I did because it definitely showed me so many things about myself there's all good vibes in there I imagine it's like you have to be everyone's got to trust each other right yeah so many good vibes man and I think I think doing it my first time with A-Rod and I think that was probably his 15th time.

It was Jordan's second ceremony.

I think having it be my first time doing it with those guys that were experienced, I definitely drew strength from those guys, man.

Like, you know, being with A-Rod and just feeling this energy, man, and, you know, he was just riding that wave, man.

And you look up and he's dancing and enjoying it.

It definitely showed me that I can get up and dance too.

So that first ceremony was definitely amazing, bro.

And, you know, I'm a huge advocate for ayahuasca.

I try to go back at least once a year.

Did you, there was no chance you brought up football at any point in this trip, right?

Would that be weird or frowned upon?

With A-Rod, talk about football.

Yeah, no, no, we didn't talk about it.

We talked about life and, you know, so many different correlations in life that you get from that.

And, yeah, just being around a guy,

his life is totally different from mine.

He deals with

things that are totally different from what I deal with when I deal with things that are totally different from him.

But being able to be around him and his energy and his aura and all of those guys, man, we're able to just draw strength from all of those guys.

That's awesome.

Did it change the way that you approach your career or your job?

Yeah, 100%.

It just showed me, you know, you get caught up in football, especially football players.

players, we just want more, more, more.

Like more money, more contract, more houses,

more clothes, more females, more and more, more.

And sometimes more isn't what you need.

Sometimes it's just really dialing into what you have and, you know, really just staying grounded.

And I really realized when I was on that trip that, you know, nothing in life happens by coincidence.

And what's for me is for me.

And if it's not, it's not.

And I drew peace from that.

Some people might get scared about that.

You know, I control what I can control.

But at the end of the day,

if it happens, it happens.

And if it doesn't, it doesn't.

And I have a sense of peace from that.

Yeah.

Very cool.

So I'm very excited to have you in D.C.

Very excited to watch you get after passer here.

Have you found a guy?

Is there a guy that went to Texas that you can start just fucking with right off the bat?

No.

So when I first got here, so Coach Magano was my coach in Denver.

I was with him for all the OTAs.

and half of the season before I got traded to LA.

And Coach Magano is the, he's a a senior defensive assistant here.

So he knows me.

He knows like I'm a jokester, class clown, prankster.

Like my first couple of days, you know, I was just trying to figure it out.

I didn't have my driver's license yet.

You know, when you take mom's car out, when you don't have your driver's license, you're driving with, you know, high and tight, seatbelt on,

like, seat not reclined, music down.

You're really just trying to get the lay of the land.

You're not trying to get pulled over.

But when you just start to learn the guys and being around the guys, now I can, you know, let the seat back turn the music up, you know, dance and lean, you put the tint on the car.

So I'm really just trying to, just really just trying to learn the guys.

And then through that learning period, my personality has started to come out.

But I'm a weekend now.

Like, the guys know me now.

It's the first fart.

The first fart is going to break the ice.

Yeah, it's going to go crazy for sure.

Yeah.

When you played on the Rams, you won a Super Bowl.

What was it like playing with Aaron Donald?

Is he the strongest guy that you've ever seen in the locker room?

Yeah, man.

He was amazing, man.

The energy about Aaron Donald, man, was great, man.

And that honestly, leaving the Los Angeles Rams and leaving Aaron Donald specifically was one of the hardest things that I had to do and go to a new spot.

We had just won a Super Bowl.

You know,

Aaron Donald, one of the greatest defensive players to ever play.

Never mind what the offense does.

Never mind what we do on defense.

Me and Aaron Donald running games together and being able to rush together, we was going to get sacks.

And we only played half a season together.

So that was one of the toughest things that I had to do, man, is really leave that situation and go to the Buffalo Bills.

It got a lot of respect for Aaron Donald.

He had won everything.

He had led the league in Sachs.

He had been defensive player of the year.

He had did everything but win a Super Bowl.

And,

you know, his mentality and his mindset and his aura was all about winning Super Bowls while I was there.

And it was just a joy to be around, man.

He was a great player to be around.

Not just him, but Jalen Ramsey, Leonard Floyd.

That was a really good defense.

Greg Gaines, like all of those guys, man.

It was a super, it was, it was, it was a joy to be around those guys.

It was hard to leave.

That defense or the Broncos defense?

The Broncos defense was pretty insane.

Yeah, it was.

I don't like to get caught up in comparisons because somebody going to see this and be like, oh, you mad?

Well, we can beat those guys.

But I tell you what,

both of those teams were special.

And it's like having two kids.

Like, you love them both the same, but

they both different too.

But I love them both the same.

Yeah, there's been a lot of discourse about that Broncos team because people are talking about Cam Newton.

I think they're doing like Cam Newton, Jalen Hurts comparisons.

You have to compare everything, but that's led to people being like, oh, Cam wasn't that good.

He's not as good as you remember.

But I mean, you've matched up against him.

You played a great game against him.

Can you just talk about like Cam Newton as a player and how special he was?

Man, Cam Newton playing was, he was a hell of a player.

You know, not just that 2015 season, but leading all the way up to that 2015 season.

Like he was the typical, he was a prototypical quarterback.

Like he set the stage for all the quarterbacks now.

He can run, he can throw, he was big, he was strong, he was fast.

He had great personality and charisma.

And I saw that at that interview with Cam Newton.

I think people just...

People just don't like Cam Newton, so they just shooting at the messenger.

His hats.

His message was legit.

Like, they don't do that with everybody else.

You know, people can say this is top 10, top five, and they never say that to any of those other guys.

They never compare their careers.

They just go with the message.

But since Cam Newton was such a great player, they always try to compare him to whatever he's saying, whatever quarterback he's talking about.

But he's definitely qualified to have his opinion for sure.

Yeah, but you know what I'm saying?

It's like he can say that, but if he's got like a wide brim with a full peacock tail on top.

Yeah, his style is different.

His style is different.

His style has always been different.

And just because, you know, it's foreign to us doesn't mean that

it's not cool, though.

But it's cool to him.

He's the coolest guy on the planet.

Like we had him in the office, and it was like,

he is so cool.

It's unreal.

I'm just saying that if you were inclined to disagree with him already, the fact that he's wearing that hat makes you disagree harder.

If you don't like his swag, you don't think he also wear anything that he's talking about but he's definitely qualified to say whatever he wants yeah when he beat the fuck out of those two guys and his hat didn't even come off his head you saw that video that was like okay because like if you can keep your hat on for that yeah he's just he just right he's huge too like i he was at the pastor summit two years ago he he just happened to be in vegas and he we had like an after party at live and he had came and his hair was like up to he seemed like he was seven foot tall and he had got bigger too i was like geez this guy's he's fucking huge though but like yeah cam newton he's qualified to say whatever he wants to say he's a quarterback he's played at a high level all the way up from high school college nfl like people just don't like the messenger it's not really the message because this message is legit but they just don't like him so they just start attacking him all right because you can't compare what's your favorite uh color combo uniform you've worn in your career Oh, ones that you felt like you were the fastest, you know, you put them on.

Yeah, Denver, all orange, the color rush jerseys and in Denver, like just so sweet, man.

And

yeah, being away from Denver, and like,

you know, at first, it's like, yeah, I'm on a new team.

And like, as time goes, like, Bob, like, you just miss those days, man.

I had spent so much time in Denver, man.

They're doing so many good things with that organization, building a new facility and new stadium, and everything is just going crazy.

Got a good team now.

You're just like, damn, man.

Like, it's like seeing your old girlfriend with the new guy, and she's happy.

You're like,

damn.

And

at first you were at first you were you won the breakup because it you left yeah then nathaniel hackett so you're like wow that's a yeah i'm glad i'm here but but now she's starting to get in shape and like she's starting to look good now and she's bouncing back and you're like dang like i should send that hey big head text yeah

oh all right i got one last question great personality on nathaniel hackett though we should see yeah he is great too well great person we had him on grit week that year and so uh it took us like maybe 10 weeks before we started criticizing him.

It was a blind spot for us.

We tried to take care of our own, but yeah, maybe not the best head coach.

Yeah, it just didn't work.

And maybe it just didn't work with the Russ, the Russell Wilson combination.

If he would have had Aaron Rodgers, you know,

it would have been a little bit different.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I know people in Broncos country were banking on that reunion and kind of had to go with Plan B with Russell Wilson.

Yeah.

All right.

I got one last question.

Rowback question: R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com.

Promo code take 20% off your first purchase.

Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, rowback.com, promo code take.

Kind of a tough question, but I want your, because you're honest with us and you actually give us like honest answers.

Have you thought at all about your Hall of Fame acceptance speech?

Has it just ever like creeped in your head?

Yeah, so I've been to four Hall of Fame ceremonies.

Ron Dawkins, Champ Bailey,

Peyton Manning, and Demarcus Ware.

And whenever I'm there and like watching those guys like go through their speech and like they're just so great at, and it's just so motivating like I think about it when I'm in Canada like I think about like what I'm gonna say who I'm gonna have like intro with me I think about those things whenever I'm there but when I come back to my team like I got my head down and I'm and I'm still trying to you know add to that legacy for sure because it is kind of cool I mean you're still playing in your

no doubter Hall of Famer.

You know that.

Like deep down, you just know it.

You know you're going to be voted in.

So it's kind of a cool feeling, I'm sure.

It's cool.

And like at that, those small moments in time, whenever I'm watching the Hall of Fame game or whenever I'm there, like watching guys that I played with go, like, I think about it then.

But other than that, man, I still got my head down, and I'm still trying to add to that legacy.

And I'm still trying to add up that invitation list.

Like, I want guys from Washington to want to come.

I want guys from Buffalo to want to come.

You know, I care about what these guys come.

I care about what these guys say about me, man, and what these guys think of me, man.

And I'm still trying to win over these guys.

So that's when I focus on that.

You got to kiss your dad on the lips on the stage.

I will.

That's where you do it.

I will on the stage, man.

I hold him down.

I will hold him down.

It's five years after you played, too, so he probably won't have enough strength.

I will barehug him and I will kiss him on the lips.

A big wet kiss.

You got any personal goals for this year?

Man, I just want to go out here and be the best pass rusher I could possibly be.

Last year, I had shades of me getting back to myself.

But the way we played, you know, I was a designated pass rusher.

I definitely play a lot more here.

And I just want to get back to playing my style of football, man.

DQ and, you know, Adam Peters have been so supportive and the type of pass pass rusher that I want to be and the type of pass rusher that I can be.

And I just want to go out there and just play my style of ball.

I'm healthy.

I'm

two years removed from ACL, maybe three years removed from ACL.

Every day it feels a whole lot better.

They do a great job keeping us fresh.

The Buffalo Bills did a great job of keeping me fresh, too.

Like, no, I'm not comparing that.

But here is just, it's just different.

Like, they do a great job of keeping me fresh, man.

And y'all should be ready to go fast on Sundays, Mondays, and Thursdays.

Love it.

Well, thanks, Vaughn.

Always love having you on.

and

we'll be there in Canton when you're all fine.

I got to send y'all some chicken, man.

Yeah.

I got to send y'all some chicken and some swag, man.

Green and pasta chicken.

Yeah.

Also, will you do us a favor?

Will you just maybe throw out a tweet when you let the first one rip around the boys?

Yeah, I got you.

Yeah, yeah.

It happened.

It happened.

Yeah, just say it happened, no context.

I appreciate you guys.

All right.

Thanks, Vaughn.

Vaughn Miller is brought to you by Pepsi.

You guys know that food deserves Pepsi.

Pepsi makes your food taste better.

It's a fact.

I was eating pizza last night.

No joke.

Ice-cold Pepsi on the side made the pepperoni taste better.

Made the cheese taste better.

Made the sauce taste better.

Pepsi makes everything taste better because it enhances the flavor of your food.

It makes the flavors pop.

Pepsi is delicious.

It's refreshing.

It's a great drink for the summertime.

Food deserves Pepsi.

Grab a Pepsi today.

Okay, boys, Fire Fest of the week.

Henry, you are up.

Yeah, Fire Fest, although

it's good and bad.

It's bad for me.

Good for the program.

Good for my friend.

Good for my,

what are you?

Subject, student,

employee.

He's your mentee?

Oh, you're talking about me?

Apprentice?

Yeah.

That's you.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm your bitch.

Oh, no.

But yeah, PFTA, we posted a video on PMT YouTube.

Getting him ready with Internet Invitational next week.

Shot at a million dollars.

We played nine holes.

Wasn't a competition.

it was just you know just for practice but if it was a competition pfc beat me so that i've had to live with that for like a week yeah i actually hank it's interesting you brought that up because i my firefest was going to be that every time i play golf with hank not on camera he beats me and i have to deal with that you know like that's more impactful to me mentally than if it was on camera because i know that Hank beat me and he played really, really well when we weren't on camera.

But every time, I don't know what it is, every time we play on camera, I just, I beat him and I beat him convincingly.

But it's the other times.

That's what really gets me.

I've been beating myself up over that.

I'm sorry.

Wait, breaking moves.

We got a purple dildo.

Oh, no.

It's getting out of control.

As the buzzer was sounding in the Chicago Sky game, is it buzzer meter?

It was, it was.

I can't believe that.

All right.

We're out on dildos, I think, now that we know it's crypto scams.

So, PFT, you're saying that

you lose to Hank when the cameras aren't on.

Yeah, like for the last two years, since I've been actually playing golf, since I got my own set of clubs and a bag,

for some reason, whenever Hank and I play off camera, he beats me.

But people don't know that because every time that we're on camera and we played against each other, I beat him.

And people don't know that either.

This one wasn't a competition for the record, but.

It wasn't a competition, but you do keep scoring golf.

Yeah, it's true.

And so, when your score is lower, then you're the winner.

And it's just like every time it's on camera, I happen to win those.

And I think people are getting the wrong idea that Hank might not be better than me at golf.

But when people aren't watching, that's when he plays really good.

Zach, do you have something to say?

Because Memes is cracking up right now.

He just loved Buzzermeter.

Oh, okay.

Nice.

I'm glad you like that one, memes.

So, yeah, that was going to be my Firefest.

But I'm telling you guys, I think I can win the Internet Invitational.

I think I can.

The way I played today, Hank's been a great coach.

No,

I want to take that back.

Hank has been a good CEO, but he was a real piece of shit at our bunker practice.

I've never, never known how to hit out of a bunker.

So I'm out there grinding.

I've got a coach, shout out Will Smith, that was actually his name, teaching me how to hit a bunker shot.

And I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm practicing shot after shot, struggling to get it down, but I'm working hard.

Hank comes in, taps me on my shoulder, and goes, you mind if I give it a shot, show you how it's done?

During my practice, Hank steps up to the ball, hits it off the pin,

and then hands me the club back.

He's like, all right, that's how you should do it.

And then he's acting like he's doing me a favor by showing me how to hit a bunker shot.

It was,

we got it, almost got into a physical fight in front of my new coach, and he had no idea what the hell was going on.

I was like, this guy's a fucking asshole.

You don't understand.

Hank's a fucking dickhead.

Hank.

PFT hit, I'm not joking,

10 shots in a row, like directly into the face of the bunker.

It was just rage swinging.

Like, I know PFT.

He was rage swinging, like.

going negative, like going negative progress.

And I was just like,

take a second.

Like, I'll hit one.

Take up, take a breath.

Let me show you how it's done.

And then he wanted to start rage hitting me.

But after this bunker practice, unless it was good.

I learned how to hit a bunker shot.

I hit several good ones today.

I shot a 44 on the front today.

Oh, yes.

So pretty happy about the way things are going right now.

We'll see which PFT shows up next week.

But I mean, if my rounds against Hank are any indication, I tend to play pretty good when the cameras are on.

Yeah, you maybe need to just like carry a picture of Hank in your golf cart and just

always be thinking about about playing against him, and you'll just dominate.

Yeah, I'll do that.

Yeah, just like, oh, maybe we can get like a little Hank doll, and you could just have it like swinging in front of you as you drive your cart.

That might be infuriating,

but maybe that's what I need.

But it would also be fun if you want to punch it.

Or if I want to throw it in the water, yeah, drown the hank doll.

We can get a bunch of hank dolls.

Yeah, give it to Blake, have him rip it apart.

We might, I think we just came upon a little Black Friday merch idea.

The hank doll.

The hank doll.

I like it.

Give it to your doll.

We'll have it be like intentionally, you can, it's like the breakable chairs or breakable tables in WWE.

The minute your dog gets it, it just shreds it.

I would watch so many of those videos.

Can it be one of the ones where you like squeeze or pull a string on and it yawns?

Yeah.

Oh, all right.

So, wait, Hank, what was your firefest?

You kind of got cucked there.

No, we talked about it.

We're good.

Okay.

Clear.

So you don't have one.

You're just good at golf.

No, no.

You lost PFT.

I lost PFT.

Multiple times on camera.

Yeah.

But that wasn't a competition.

Multiple.

Yeah.

I think every time we've played me versus you, I think I've beaten you on camera.

Austin, Texas.

Max had that on the ready.

I was just filming.

I wasn't really

that was happening.

That was about to save Max's life.

All right, my Firefest.

I got two.

One is

memes.

So

Memes' parents were in town, and

he asked if he could use my Cubs tickets on Wednesday.

And I was like, of course.

And then it dawned on me after I sent it to him.

I was like, this motherfucker is going to try to win the 50-50.

And he told me before that he bought $200 worth, and he won't tell me what happened.

And

I legitimately think he might have won.

And then I realized, too, if he won, I would just be in memes spot where I would be like, well, they were my tickets.

And so we would just be like the mirror image of each other.

We'd be like, well, it was my pick in the ball, but it was P.

So tell me, did you win?

I did not win.

Okay, good.

I also.

My parents looked at me crazy when I bought $200 worth.

They were like, why?

I was like,

I got to win.

I don't know why, but on Monday night, I just got it in my head that I was going to win on Monday night, and it got a little out of hand.

And I didn't win.

But I got it in my head.

I was like, this is going to be the one.

I just, I felt it.

I felt something special on Monday night, and it was so far from special.

It's going to happen.

I don't think so, man.

I don't think so.

It's, it was.

I was like, this is too much.

You're like, I was, I even went to buy one extra one at the seventh inning, and then it was, there was the 50-50 booth that I go to, and then

one of the 50-50 guys who goes up and down the aisles was like, hey, big cat.

So then I was like, well, fuck, I have to buy from him too.

So then I bought two extras in the seventh inning and still didn't win.

But all right, memes.

So you did not win.

Did not win, but we helped inner city schools.

That's where the money goes.

They're talking about that.

Good shit, man.

What if Florio wins?

I can live with that.

I can live with that.

When he's in Chicago, no, you can't.

Yeah, no, you can't.

I like

instantly.

You also

have Hank and memes put together.

Florio's not going to, Florio's not going to spend a lot of money on the 50-50.

There's no way.

That's why you'd hate it.

He'd spend like five bucks.

If he won like that, yes.

If he won by spending like a thousand bucks, I'd tip my cap.

If he, if he bought one ticket for $5, I would be furious.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But if he went all in, if he was like, I'm going to try this, I'm going to try to buy this pot, I would have to be like, credit to you, dude.

You went for it.

And then my other fire passes, I didn't listen to Max during the Mount Rushmore because I should have.

The one time he had actually like a semblance of a good argument, and I didn't listen to him.

That PFT picked himself on the blunt rotation, which is a crazy move.

I didn't pick myself.

Yeah, your team is PFT and Hank.

Yeah, Hank picked me.

No, no, you are a team.

You're a team entity.

Your blunt rotation, team, PFT and Hank picked PFT.

You picked yourself.

I told Hank not to pick me.

You signed up.

Doesn't matter.

It shows Team PFT and Hank picked PFT.

PFT.

No, it'll be Team 3.

Okay, but

you understand.

Who is Team 3?

When the clip comes out, your team picks yourself.

Memes, you weren't here for Rushmore.

I should have listened to Max.

Memes, you weren't here for Rushmore that day.

What are your thoughts?

You guys called me on it.

Oh, right, right, we did.

But it was such a bad moment for me because usually Max is the one.

Yeah, we all called him.

Usually Max is the one who walks out of the studio and is like, I should have said that.

Yeah.

And I walked out of the studio being like, fuck, Max was right.

Like, that's never happened to me.

And it sucked.

So your point is that the picks should not have counted?

No, I think it's just a crazy narcissistic move to pick yourself in a blunt rotation.

For the record, I did not pick myself.

I begged him not to pick me.

I picked you.

And then looking at the graphic, I saw it.

I was like, this is the worst look of all time on a graphic.

This looks like MFT over here.

And then Hank, I went to take a piss after, and Hank just was giggling in MFT.

Max got zingers.

I hate him.

This is such a banger.

I went to take a piss, and I was just like, Hank, you know what you did.

And he just started giggling in my face.

And I was just like, this motherfucker, I was like, just admit to me, you know what you did.

He's just giggling.

I was like, God damn it.

And Max had the argument.

For the record,

I

agree with Hank that I'm a lot of fun to smoke weed with, but I would not put myself in the top four of all time.

But you did.

I did it.

You did.

I want that stuff to say.

You did, too.

You did.

Your team did.

That's fucking awesome.

You are a team.

You are a team and you picked yourself.

It's a good pick.

It was a good pick, PFT.

It was a good pick.

You literally were like, I would like to hang out with myself and smoke weed with anyone in the history of the world.

Well,

sometimes just smoking by yourself is fun.

Blunt rotation.

First pick, myself.

Because I want to get high.

Oh, but yeah, it was more the fact that Max, like, that's a bad feeling.

I, you, I hope you guys never have that feeling where, where you walk out being like, damn, I should have listened to Max.

It was, it was kind of like a gut check, like, what's going on with my life?

Yeah.

Really humbling.

Really humbling.

Really hurt.

All right, Zach.

My fire fest of the week is I may have to move out of my apartment complex.

Something similar has happened in the past to this quick story.

But the other night I was at the house.

It was a little late.

I needed to take a trash out.

I have met some of my neighbors previously.

I know I've got a very professional couple like two doors down that they leave in suits and like very business, not even business casual, like business business garb.

And then there's also a very beautiful woman that's probably two doors down the other direction

uh i have talked to them in passing good chats with with all of them uh but unfortunately i it was late i need to take the trash out i got caught at the trash chute not only by my business business neighbors but the the very attractive woman a couple doors down that's been very kind in my halloween pajamas and my xbox headset and i've

I've never wanted to just melt away more in my entire life.

Why did you take it off?

Why did you take off your Xbox headset?

It was going to be so quick, like down and back to the trash chute.

I thought it was so late at night, and I just, I've never regretted anything more.

And of course, they're all coming home at the same time.

You couldn't have, like, I'm actively on Redfin searching.

What was the interaction?

The interaction is they both, like, the one girl looks up, she waves, the two business business are coming in from maybe a date night or like an outing, and they just kind of like acknowledge.

I go to say something and just go directly back to the apartment

into my room, into my safe space.

I have a very important question for you, Zach.

Are the Halloween pajamas

are they glow-in-the-dark?

It's a skeleton that glows in the dark.

Yes.

My kids are the same one.

Is it the

matching set?

Is it exactly the ones you're talking about?

It's a matching set.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Is it your skeleton?

It's the legs and the torso.

Oh, no zach zach i'll take a picture i literally my kids love those pajamas they wear them they ask for them almost every night and you're wearing them oh so do i but i'm also not i'm also not yeah okay this is zach we're gonna need you to take a picture of yourself in the

i need to see these pajamas we need the pajamas and the headset when you get home we'll put it in the youtube Yes, we have to have it.

I'm going right back into them when I get home, so I can do that for you guys.

Perfect.

Perfect.

And the headset.

Yeah, the headset has to be there.

Zach, was it just like a standard generic white trash bag that you were throwing out or were you throwing out something that was identifiable no so luckily not identifiable uh but maybe telling because i do just do like the grocery bag move because i don't have a lot of trash so i just do like the the target bag tie-up so maybe they know now that i'm not like an official trash can guy as well zach zach would have multiple bags wait you don't own a trash can no i just use the tiny bags and then get get rid of them as I go.

Well, he's just throwing out the tiles.

You should get a trash can at some point.

It just feels like it would take forever to fill up.

Those bags in and out every night were good.

The best part of it.

That means less trips to the chute.

Yeah, the best part about Zach saying that he doesn't have a trash bin is that he goes to Target every single week.

That's like the number one place to get that.

Yeah.

That's where you get all the free bags, though, too, on the checkout.

They've got so many bags.

You're stuck up.

Yeah.

I do.

I think a trash can from Target maybe costs like $10.

But also you got to be careful.

You can't use the chute for bags that are too big.

So now I'm setting myself up to go downstairs.

Okay.

Hold on, Zach.

Let's

spin zone this real quick.

Okay.

The hallway.

Good lighting?

Not the best lighting.

Pretty, like, pretty dim.

Okay, but there's

enough lighting that when you got back in your apartment, those glow-in-the-dark skeletons popped?

Hopefully, I wasn't glowing.

If I was glowing in the hallway, I should have already moved out.

Yeah, so if it's dim in the hallway and it's light in your apartment, they might have seen the skeleton out.

Yeah, no, they saw the skeleton.

I just hope it wasn't glowing.

They definitely saw me in full skeleton, which is the worst part.

Like,

the Xbox headsets almost like just to run to the.

What color?

Did you have the pins on them?

They're just white.

No gibbets.

Okay.

Unfortunately.

We got to get you some gibbets.

What about the shirts?

The shirt was the chest and arms of the skeleton.

So you were wearing the full set.

Yes, as one does in pajamas, yeah.

Okay.

Oh, my God, Zach.

That is so fucking funny.

So if anybody needs a roommate or

knows any good spots, let me know, because I might be checking out soon.

Oh,

that's so good.

That's so good.

Oh, man.

The girl's not going to forget you, though.

That's true.

I probably did make it to the group chat, just not in ways that I wanted.

Yeah, no, exactly.

Girls are attracted to guys they can fix.

And a dude in glow-in-the-dark skeleton pajamas throwing out a target bag with the Xbox headset at midnight is a guy who can be fixed.

Yeah, that's the appropriate time of day to be doing that.

If this was like 1.30 in the afternoon, then that would be a different conversation.

That's a great point.

You're right.

It was like prime pajamas hours.

Yeah, I think you only have to worry about the business business couple.

They judged.

The hot girl might have been turned on the bit yeah business business has never invited me to their like hookouts on the patio ever again if they do you have to go in your pajamas

because they know like they they maybe could have pretended to take me seriously as a neighbor previously now they're just like who's this guy what's going on here oh man

they know

they're definitely not going to ask you for any favors

they're not going to be like hey can you come over and feed my cat can you walk you seem like a business guy you want to help me with this one well no don't let's not rule out let's not judge.

What if they're getting pub stomped and smurfed?

He is the number one guy you call.

I don't think they game a lot.

They scream a lot.

I don't hit each other much.

I think not, but it maybe.

I think the real problem might be that the business guy saw you and now he hates you because he's insanely jealous.

Yeah.

He's like, this dude, I would trade my entire life to be able to just hang out in my pajamas, play Xbox.

That's fair.

Maybe he.

I don't want his suit, though.

Do I have to give up my my pajamas?

No, no.

Okay, cool.

PFT's right.

You might be the alpha of that apartment complex now.

It's like this dude is just, he's living the dream.

No, PFT's right.

That guy definitely had a moment.

If he's dressing up in a suit every day and coming home to just scream at his significant other, he's wishing he could throw it all away to get into his skeleton pajamas and game with the boys.

Yeah.

In his defense, they are good suits, though.

Like, he leaves sharp.

Yeah, but you also have glow-in-the-dark pajamas.

Those aren't regular pajamas.

Those are the good suits of pajamas.

Because do you have a pair as well or just the kids?

Just the kids.

Add that.

I haven't.

Like, we're actually glossing over the fact that, like, I don't know of anyone else on this podcast, but me personally, I don't think I've had a pajama set since I was like five years old.

No?

I don't own anything that you would consider to be pajamas.

No, I go to sleep in a t-shirt and boxers every night.

What does that look, Hank?

What do you want to say there, Hank?

No, remember, Hank, he got robbed.

His pajamas got robbed.

Yeah.

Be like 90% of who you wear could be classified as pajamas.

Junk Suit January definitely gets blurry with pajamas.

It does.

It does.

But no, I mean, I'm an underwear man.

Go to sleep in underwear.

Yeah.

I don't think I wore pajamas past the age of 18.

Zach, you don't.

That's a good spin zone for you, Zach, by the way.

Like, PFT just wears pajamas in public.

Like,

it could be a lot of fun.

So, at least you were in the privacy of your own apartment building.

That's fair.

I want to ask a question.

You don't have to answer, but I want to ask it.

Yes, sir.

On your bed, do you have any stuffed animals or anything like that?

There's so I wouldn't cost five, I wouldn't call it a stuffed animal.

What is it?

What is it?

It's a Salobro Squishmallow.

So it's not.

My kids also have those.

This is

actually.

I should have kept that.

I should have kept that tucked.

Do you hug your Squishmallow?

No.

No.

It just goes on the.

I just throw it.

After I make the bed, I throw it up there as a garb.

Throw a pillow.

Festive.

Yeah, that's nice.

What is the, is it the Pokemon?

It is.

Okay.

It's the Pokemon Slowbro.

Is it Pikachu?

No, it's Slowbro.

Oh, Slowbro is.

Okay, my bad.

He's the guy.

I know Pokemon.

Obviously, I know Slowbro.

Which Slowbro

is it Slow Poke?

That I don't know.

I originally got it for my brother because it's the mascot of our unofficial official running team

that you didn't take part in.

Yes.

Oh, Slowbro.

I'm seeing him right now.

He's a pink Pokemon.

This kind of looks like he'd be thrown on a WNBA court.

I don't know how we're sneaking that in, but we try.

try.

No, Zach, it's

also it shows that you're a man that has a routine.

Like you change into your pajamas at the end of the day.

Yeah.

You don't just like hop into bed in your sweats or whatever.

No, I'm an outside clothes, inside clothes guy, so I'll get home,

quick shower, pajamas, and then I...

The pajamas are just like while I'm around the house, like in the apartment, and then I just rip boxers to sleep.

So out of the pajamas before bed.

Oh, those are just that.

Those are just pajamas for hanging out yeah just the after like the late evening lounge situation yeah you want to get comfy with it gosh put some get some elastic in the situation yes Zach

when you, you know, gaming locked in, like, what, what happened in the middle of the game where you're like, oh, fuck, I got to go take the trash out.

I spilt a diet Dr.

Pepper had to clean up a lot of paper towels, and I was like, these have to go.

Too much sugar on them.

Didn't want any ants.

Zach, the more you talk about this, the more what PFT said is correct.

I'm jealous of this.

Yeah.

Like you were you were describing like, obviously I love my kids.

I wouldn't trade it for the world, but like for a minute, I would love to just be like, oh man, my biggest issue tonight is I spilled like Dr.

Pepper while gaming in my pajamas.

That's a good night, dude.

Oh, there's no silver linings in everything.

It is an okay night sometimes.

Max.

I have one more question.

You said you still had the headset on.

yes is there any chance you were still connected to your xbox while this interaction was 3 000 my friends heard everything

100 connected they knew exactly what was going on wait were you holding the controller no no it was wireless wireless yeah yeah if you were if you were holding the controller

that would have been inscribable or if you were yelling at your friends as you were throwing the trash out were you talking at all to your friends while you were going on the way to the shoot yeah just because I thought it was a quick run.

And then as soon as individuals showed up that weren't like not expected, instant silence, just head nod, not a sprint, but I was just out of there.

Quick.

What a visual.

I can't wait to see you in these pajamas.

My favorite with Zach is when he's telling a story that he's a little bit nervous about or a little bit embarrassed about.

He starts kind of talking like a cop.

Yeah.

He's like, and so at that point, I encountered two individuals and the individuals and I acknowledged each other and

I had to retreat back to my domicile.

The individuals were wearing suits.

They approached me from 6 o'clock at a moderate pace.

Oh, man.

All right.

Great Firefest.

Great Firefest.

And I cannot wait to see this picture.

Send it to the group chat as soon as you get home.

It's so funny.

It's so funny.

All right.

Should we finish with numbers?

Three.

Good job, memes.

That was good job, memes.

22.

Oh, Pug.

Pug.

What's up, Pug?

Pug, Pug.

Oh, fuck yeah, Pug.

It's a great pug.

Hold it down.

Holding it down.

I'll go with 60.

I'll go with 6.

85.

I'll go with 6.

99, Pug.

I'll go 70 for Sean.

Oh, there we go.

What you oh, because you can't go 118 for all the money he made?

That was unnecessary.

Praise for him.

Big guy, you want to just tell me when to stop it?

You just go for like five seconds, yeah, and just don't even look.

Zach, what was your number?

94.

What's yours, Hank?

22.

51.

51.

Great show, boys.

Love you guys.

Cracker Barrel is home to all the more country anytime.

That means buttermilk pancakes whenever you want them, homemade classics like chicken and dumplings, and a country store full of fun finds.

Swing by and visit Cracker Barrel today.