Christian Yelich, DJ John Summit, Giannis Possible Last Game On The Bucks, Pistons Beat The Knicks, Hockey Playoffs And Listener Roasts

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On today's part in my take, we have playoff action.

We're going to recap everything that happened on Monday and Tuesday night.

Crazy.

Eight games on Tuesday night between the Stanley Cup playoffs and the NBA.

We've got some teams eliminated.

We then have our good friend, Christian Yelich, in studio.

Haven't seen him in a while.

Caught up with him.

Great interview.

Awesome to see him.

And then we have the number one DJ in the world right now, DJ John Summit.

Really cool interview.

One of those ones that's maybe not traditional sports, but

crazy story because he went from accountant to the world's biggest DJ and a really good guy.

And then we're going to finish with listener Rose.

And Shane is back from Italy and he gave us some gifts, which you won't want to miss, some big time gifts.

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Today is Wednesday, April 30th, and PFT.

It is playoffs, playoffs, playoffs.

Playoffs coming out of our ears, playoffs coming out of our eyes.

So much playoff action.

Ball's deep in sports, baby.

We've got some teams going home.

We've got some teams advancing.

We've got the Boston Celtics doing exactly what we all thought that they would do.

But yeah, it's been a wild couple nights.

Not enough TVs in my house.

Yeah, it has been a wild.

I mean, eight games on Tuesday night with some closeout games.

It was crazy.

As always, with the playoffs, we are in Zoom for the beginning because we wanted to recap all the games.

We are back in studio when we interview Christian Yelich, John Summit, when we do Hot Seed Cool Throne.

Let's start.

So we have to recap Monday's games too, but I feel like we got to start with Bucs Pacers because that was one of the craziest endings.

The Bucs, maybe if you're a Bucs fan, this is the last time you see Giannis in a Bucs jersey, which sucks.

And he went out on his sword with an incredible performance, 30, 20, and 13.

But the story was

the collapse of the Bucs in the last 36 seconds.

They were up 118, 111 with 36 seconds left, and it all fell apart.

And we basically had Gary Trent Jr., who had an incredible game three with 37 points.

Gary Trent Jr.

is,

let me say this.

Giannis was the best player on the Bucs.

Gary Trent Jr.

was the most impactful player on the Bucs because both good and bad, he had the entire Gary Gary Trent Jr.

experience.

He started the game 0 for 7.

He then went 8 for 9, and he hit four straight threes in overtime, four straight threes, and then turned the ball over two times to basically let the Pacers have an incredible comeback and clinch this series and go on to the next round.

Yeah, he had a great overtime, and also he cost his team the game at the end.

There's no two ways about it.

Halliburton also had some very clutch plays at the end of regulation and at the end of overtime.

But Gary Trent Jr., he is the ultimate example now, I think, that we can point at to a guy that has changed so much about himself that he's trying to make everybody forget that he's from Duke.

Yeah, so he got he got all the tattoos, got different hair.

He's even wearing the glasses like he's in witness protection program.

He's like, no, that's it.

It must be two Gary Trent Jr.'s because that's not me.

But yeah, it was a crazy overtime for him.

And then do we want to talk about Halliburton's dad?

Yeah, of course.

But wait, hold on.

I want to just say the overtime.

Yeah, like the the Pacers that this was a game.

Well, it was the weird NBA, I feel like they do this once a year where they throw in this game.

Uh, it started at 5 p.m.

Central Time, 6 p.m.

Eastern.

So, it's like one of those games, if you weren't just, if you're not a fan of one of these teams or like super clued in, you could easily just like be like, oh shit, this game's in the first quarter already.

And the Pacers were getting killed for the for the first quarter and a half.

Uh, I think they were down 11-0, like before you could even blink, and they fought all the way back.

The Pacers are so much fun to watch.

They just have guys that make big shots.

And Tyrese Halliburton, basically, Tyrese Halliburton and Gary Trent Jr.

did like a freaky Friday in overtime where Tyrese Halliburton hit his first three and then he's like, all right, it's Tyrese Halliburton time.

And he started bricking threes while Gary Trent Jr.

hit everything.

And then Gary Trent Jr.

just couldn't hold on to the ball, turned it over twice.

And then Tyrese Halliburton came back and was like, I'm just going to drive to the rim, including the game winner on Giannis.

And it was a pretty sad way for Giannis to go out.

It was sad.

It was a great play by Halliburton, though.

Oh, it was a great move, and all the credit in the world to him.

And then after the game,

when they asked Giannis, they asked him a bunch of questions, and he did a good job, I think, at the podium.

But they did ask him, like, is this the last time that you'll be wearing a Bucs uniform?

And he answered it in a way that's like, I don't really want to talk about that, but it's pretty clear that this is probably the end of the road.

And I heard people talking about Giannis to the Thunder.

That might ruin the NBA if Giannis goes to the Thunder next year.

They would have to trade players because the Bucs don't own any of their own picks for the foreseeable future.

So they're in a weird situation where they can't really tank

because if they trade Giannis for picks, you're now...

you have to hope that the other teams stink, but they have Giannis, so they're probably not going to stink.

So the belief is they're only going to do a trade where they can get a couple players back so the thunder would have to trade some players but yes it would be scary to have the thunder have yannis would the thunder have would they be able to trade picks that belonged originally to other teams yeah but i'm saying like i think i they because for sure they have a shitload of other teams picks yeah so it wouldn't just be like banking on nailing the uh the 30th overall pick for sure but i think they're gonna want some players too like i i i feel like that's the bucks are kind of stuck in a spot where it doesn't help for them to just be bad because they can't, they can't fully tank, you know?

Yeah, and I, I feel, I feel bad for Giannis, yes, but I'm also glad that he got his title because if he didn't have the title, then wherever he ends up going, you, people would be like, oh, you couldn't get it done.

You're, you're ring chasing, have to join a super team.

So it's good that it's good for everybody involved that he was able to do it kind of on his own in Milwaukee.

Yeah, yeah, I agree.

I mean, that's like, if he didn't have a title, it would be a totally different story and feel different.

But yeah, this,

I, I don't, I feel like it's a foregone conclusion.

He's gone.

Maybe there's a shocker and he's like, I'm just going to be a one.

Like, this is the fork in the road that if Giannis stays with the Bucs this summer, he's just going to be a Buck forever.

Wouldn't you agree?

Like,

this is the perfect exit point for him where I don't even think Bucs fans would be.

They wouldn't even be like, oh, man, I can't believe he's leaving us.

Like, no, the team is not good.

We don't own our picks.

And Dame is out for a year.

Yeah, he should go somewhere else.

So it's like, it's almost perfectly set up for him to exit and not have hard feelings.

And so if he does not exit, I feel like he's just going to be a Buck forever.

Nico, you have the opportunity of a lifetime to make everything okay.

Yeah.

So after the game, it wouldn't be a Bucks Pacers series if there wasn't something crazy that happened after the game.

Our good friend Pat Bev, obviously last year, the ending of that series, they've had weird things happen in the regular season as well.

We had multiple skirmishes.

Tyrese Halliburton's dad comes on the court,

starts yelling at Giannis.

Giannis then gives him maybe the most intimidating stare down of all time where he was his head was like Giannis's eyes were basically at the top of Tyrese Halliburton's dad's like the top of his head.

And I got to say something, PFT.

I'm kind of bummed out that all sides like squashed it before we could even get mad.

Yeah, I wish Giannis wasn't so mature.

I wish he didn't have so much perspective because it would have been, it would have been a very entertaining fight.

And what Giannis did before the top of the head stare down was equally as intimidating where he just stood there very calmly, just staring him in the eyes, figuring out what he wanted to do, figuring out what the next step was.

And he's like, well, I could swing on him.

I could walk away.

No, I think I'm going to walk over to him and try to look down at his brain through the top of his skull.

Yeah, I'm going to eat him.

I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to eat Tyrese Hall Burton's head.

But it's not even Giannis because Giannis, I expected.

Giannis is like one of of the classiest guys.

I don't know who dislikes Giannis.

Like every answer he gives, other than the one time when he was like, it's not a disappointment.

But like, he's just, he is one of those guys that it feels like he's genuine and he also has really good perspective.

Tyrese Halliburton kind of ruined it, though, because he said afterwards, he was like, yeah.

My dad is a fucking, like, he shouldn't have done that.

And we got to talk to him.

And I got to go apologize to Giannis.

I was hoping that we'd have a little beef here because I wanted to be like, hey, Tyrese Halliburton, your dad's a fucking piece of shit.

He shouldn't have been on the court, but I can't even do that because every side was like,

it was a fair.

Like, Giannis basically accepted an apology and Tyrese Halliburton admitted that they were 100% in the wrong.

Okay, so this might sound confusing and contradictory, but Tyrese Halliburton is correct.

His dad was in the wrong.

However, I would have liked for Tyrese Halliburton to have his dad's back.

Right, that's what I'm saying.

Like,

I would have, I wanted to get mad at Tyrese Halliburton for saying, like, no, my dad's allowed to be there.

They just robbed us of

false anger, which is really all we, all we want as sports fans is like, we just want to be angry about something.

But, like, not having your dad's back when he's got the biggest stage ever, that's worse than forgetting his birthday.

Can I, that is, yeah.

Can I say something too about Tyrese Halliburton's dad?

Um, he's a ref.

Kind of crazy.

That's kind of crazy.

You got to kind of, you might have to strip him of his stripes.

Yeah.

he's egomaniac.

That's all refs.

Yeah, that's true.

That's a good point, Hank.

But then we had also

Giannis versus Mathurin, which was a hilarious clip because they started hugging, and then something was said, and they just ended up shoving.

And then everyone got into it.

And then the best clip of

the whole exchange, everything that happened was while everyone's fighting and there's all this chaos, Brooke Lopez dapping up Boomer, the Pacers mascot.

Just ultimate respect.

I don't know if you saw that clip.

It was so funny.

It was just nuts.

Everything's happening.

And he's just like, yeah, you know what?

Good fucking series, Boomer.

You laid it all out there.

I love Brooke Lopez.

Yeah, just two competitors that put it all on the line, showing mutual respect.

Hockey would never, they would never end a series like that with a handshake.

No, no.

But it was, I mean, the Pacers are really, are good.

I don't know if they can beat the Cavs.

I think the Cavs are probably going to beat them, but I think the Pacers are going to give them a hell of a series because they just have so many dudes that can make shots they always they just take good shots too it feels like they pass the ball well they play up tempo how burton is kind of taking that like next little step and i what are your thoughts on how burton because i feel like there's a lot of people that really hate him and i i want to but i also think he might just be

like a very well-adjusted dude who's happy all the time and that bothers people yeah listen he's a little bit corny but as a guy who who's also a little bit corny like I think I'm allowed to say that about him, he's also like supremely talented.

There's no doubt about that.

But he's, you get the feeling just looking at him that you could talk shit and not get your ass kicked by him.

And so that's why I think people talk, they take, they take a lot of liberty with that.

That makes sense.

Because

players in the league voted him most overrated, too.

That's what I try and figure out.

Like, what, what do other players in the league think about him is so overrated?

Well, I think it's because he's goofy.

Well, he also passes the ball a lot.

He gets a lot of assists.

Uh, I, I feel like the goofiness, I know you need a goofy guy every now and then.

Like, I, I, my initial inclination is like, I don't think I like this guy.

And then the more I see him, like, why do I not like this guy?

He's just, he's kind of just having fun out there.

He's fucking not winning, though.

If he was like winning,

if he was winning more, people would hate him.

But it's like, yeah, you know, wins the first round.

Oh, he's not a threat.

Yeah.

Got it.

It is true that if he was an NBA champion, everybody would absolutely hate his guts.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I was impressed with that.

I wish the Pacers would stop wearing the Miami Heat jerseys.

I'll stick on that.

We had so many alternate jerseys tonight.

But yeah, the Gary Trent Jr.

just,

I mean, that's how, I feel like that's how Giannis can

like exit stage left from Milwaukee, just being like, did you see Gary Trent Jr.?

And what's going to happen with Doc?

Is Doc going to just keep getting another job?

That, and also the, I feel like the Kyle kuzman trade is is should have been like that's enough that's enough to be like i'm out like that that that is one of the worst trades of all time yeah and and dame getting hurt also let's give credit to doc rivers though he had a 10-point lead in the fourth quarter he did he had a seven-point lead with 30 seconds six seconds left that was such an insane ending comeback i legit walked out of the room and came back i was like what the happened it was crazy i mean it was just

after the four three-pointer i was like ball game Yeah, Gary Trent Jr.

couldn't miss for that 90 seconds.

He was insane.

And it was Halliburton having those two drives and Nemhart hitting like way downtown three.

It was crazy.

The Pacers didn't give up.

They felt like they were dead multiple times in this game.

And

that's the only part that if you're a Bucs fan, I mean, obviously the whole Giannis thing bums you out and the way you lost this game bums you out.

But it would have been nice if Giannis could have finished his Bucs career win or lose with one last home game, you know?

Yeah, it was nice.

It was nice to see Giannis at the podium, though.

Another all-star speech by him.

Yeah.

He's so good at those end-of-the-year wrap-up things.

But yes, it was nice that the Pacers came back.

They showed a lot of grit, determination.

They got some good players.

They play an entertaining style of basketball, but they're not taking more than one game off the Celtics the season.

They're playing the Cavs next.

When they get to the Celtics, They might not.

So you have them beating the Cavs or you have them.

I'm saying if they were to play the Celtics,

no team out of the East.

Do you think they're going to beat the Cavs?

Because that's the only way they could play the Celtics.

I do not.

And truth be told, I forgot that they weren't playing the Celtics in the next round.

I was just trying to fuck with Hank.

You got blinded by him for a minute.

Yeah.

I'm going to say Cavs in six.

Cavs are really good.

I respect the hell out of the Cavs.

Yeah, I'm going to say Cavs in four.

In four?

Yeah, this Cavs team is fucking legit.

Oh, here he goes.

Here he goes.

I think Cavs in five.

Do you want to do the eliminated teams real quick?

The Cavs beat the Heat by a billion.

That was crazy.

I mean, like, I know that it's.

Just get rid of the

play-in game.

Both of the teams have played two playing games.

Yeah, listen, I hate the playing game.

Would the Hawks have fared better against the Cavs?

No.

They're just not.

The seventh and eighth seed, like the eighth seed was just going to be bad, you know?

Yeah, but this was exceptionally bad.

As far as NBA playoff series go, it was a 122-point series win.

That's the most lopsided series of all time in the history of the NBA playoffs.

We also had, it was

the,

since 2000, when

they've been tracking it, it was the largest double-up of a home playoff team when the Cavs were up 96 to 48.

So it was a double up score.

Yeah,

the other two were the Cavs, Celtics, 2017, 88-44, and the Bulls, Bucs, Bulls, 88-44 in 2015.

But that's a 96-48 double-up.

That game was never even, it was just nothing.

It was just the Heat were just so, so ready to go and get out of there.

They had one game where I feel like they gave the Cavs a good fight, and then everything else was just blah.

Yeah, it was pretty ugly.

Double win for Jimmy Butler.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Heat culture might be dead.

It might have just been Jimmy.

It might have been Jimmy.

But yeah, the Cavs are really fucking good.

I can't wait for the Cavs to start playing some real playoff games because this wasn't a real, it's kind of like the Thunder.

Both one seeds.

That was just...

That was just basically a practice that they had to go through in the first round because they're just so much better than the eight seeds.

Hank, your Celtics

have advanced.

You feel good about it?

I felt great about it.

First win-all series, I felt easy.

The Magic put up a good fight.

They got some very, very good.

Well, they have two really, really good players.

The rest of their team is garbage, but still impressive from them.

But I'm excited to get going with the rest of the playoffs.

Yeah.

That was classy of you, Hank.

Very classy.

They got two good players.

The rest of them suck.

It was impressive how well they were able to play with such a shitty team.

That's not.

That's what you said.

Everything you said was right.

No, that's not.

Like, that is a compliment.

Like, that's like, they played hard with bad players.

Two really good players

and a bunch of like plumbers.

Yeah.

Well, I mean, this game was, just proves

Hank's point because it was a 53-53 game.

And Paolo got his fifth foul and had to go out.

And then it was an 83-62 game.

And it was just like, oh, yep, that's it.

It's over.

So that's just what happened.

Like,

you can't have Paolo go out for, it was, I think it was like nine and a half minutes.

That's, you, the Magic are terrible without him on the floor.

Yeah, you just need him to dominate every single game that he plays, and you might have a chance to take a couple.

Yeah.

Tatum looked good, Hank.

Tatum looked really good.

Everyone looked good.

You know, some of the

some of the side guys that were struggling earlier in the year, early in their series with threes, Hauser and Porzingis, they played well.

Okay.

I'm ready.

I'm ready.

So going to the next series, because

you get to rest now.

Nick's Pistons gets to go to game six.

And the Pistons,

the Pistons have kind of dominated the Knicks in this series.

Like, they could have won game one.

They got screwed in game.

They chose game one and they got screwed.

They basically won game one.

In game four.

Yeah.

And this game game was, I mean, Cade Cunningham is so, so good.

Azur Thompson was, did you see he had 22 points?

He had seven dunks.

He was just at the perfect place for the entire game, and he just kept on dunking.

And then Tobias Harris is good.

Tobias Harris is a good one.

Tobias Harris is a stud.

It's crazy.

It's crazy, Max.

Tobias Harris is good.

Tobias Harris is a pussy.

He's good.

The amount of people that are pussies that can't play in Philadelphia is disgusting.

I wonder why after you say that.

Last year, weren't you celebrating?

Weren't you saying

the biggest

bonus about losing in the playoffs was that you no longer have to pay Tobias Harris?

He sucked for his entirety of his time in Philadelphia.

No.

Never once did he show up for the Sixer.

Don't give me that.

Don't give me that face, Hank.

If you know anything about what I'm talking about, he was horrendous.

And the fact that he just joined the lowly fucking Pistons, and now all of a sudden, he's good at whatever.

Pistons are during the playoffs, Max.

Correct.

And they're playing well.

Like, this is a Detroit.

This is a young team that just went to Madison Square Garden and won an elimination game with their back against the wall.

Like, how can you not be impressed with what the Pistons have done this series and this season?

When I say low, I mean like the pressure.

It's a lowly pressure pressure city.

What?

I don't fucking know.

Okay.

But yeah, I'm like,

the piss.

Five-year, $180 million contract is so funny.

For who?

For that was a 76ers contract.

Tobias Harris.

Yeah.

He got another big contract in Detroit.

Wasn't he?

Yeah, you can see why.

Wasn't he the next LeBron by someone?

Didn't someone say he was the next LeBron?

Oh, I need to find that take.

I'm pretty sure someone,

like when he was in high school, someone was like, dude, this guy is, he's the next LeBron.

Baby Bron.

Can you find it for me?

I'm trying.

I'm trying.

See it?

I might have made that up, but it's kind of a funny.

He's a perfect guy to be dubbed the next LeBron when he was like 17 years old.

Tobias Harris.

But yeah, the Pistons are good.

Like they, they, they could be easily up 3-2 in this series.

The TNT graphic wants the Knicks to win so bad, they put 4-1 after the game that the Knicks won the series it was crazy

you did you did

it you'll never guess in a million years who said it oh was it Stephen A they were at the beer olympics

they were at the beer this person was at the beer olympics uh-huh

and they so are they involved in basketball uh they're on they're a recurring guest of the show they suck at Rocky we talked about him the other day

JJ

who was it

Waka Flock of Flame.

Oh, that's awesome.

Yeah, because he's a long, isn't Tobias Harris from Long Island?

It's Waka Flock of Flame.

I think he played him.

Yeah, we used to play him in high school.

Holy shit.

Where's Waka from?

His two brothers are on Waka Flock is from LA.

That's what I thought.

And he said that Tobias Harris was the next LeBron.

It was in a tweet, yeah.

In 2009, I love.

All right, so my memory is correct.

It's not a full take, but it is hilarious that someone at one point was like next LeBron Tobias Harris.

Yeah,

Cade Cunningham is, he's a star.

This is like, this is, I love the playoffs because you get guys like getting to that next level, that elevating their level.

And Cade Cunningham has, this is his first playoffs, has completely elevated his next level.

The big story, though, from this game.

And I don't know if you guys, which side you're on, because you could, I guess you could make an argument one way or the other.

Tibbs.

Yep.

At the end of the game, Josh Hart gets hurt.

He had to go to the locker room.

Jalen Brunson turns his ankle.

He had to come out.

Tibbs, the game is 97-95 when both those go, when Brunson goes out with 257 left.

They get to the scorers table

with like two and some change left.

And I think they were down four at the time.

Tibbs has one timeout left.

And he sits there and he waits for a stoppage in play for a minute and a half.

And Jalen Brunson and Josh Hart are not on the court, and he finally calls his last time out with 27 seconds left and gets them back in the game.

The Knicks are down six.

I don't know what the fuck that was.

Well, you got to make up your mind.

Do you want Tibbs to play his starters too much and tire him out?

Or is it okay if you rest him for a little bit?

Tibbs counts the two minutes standing at the scorers table as part of your break.

It was, yeah, you'll be rested when you get back in there.

it was very strange.

If you're Tibbs, you have to know when you when you send them to go in, you have to know how long you're willing to wait out before you call that timeout.

I think if you had asked him that before he sent them to go check in, his answer would not have been until 27, 27 seconds left of the game, right?

And it was just wild to watch because the camera just kept on panning to Brunson and Hart standing there watching, waiting for a stoppage in play.

And

I think it's crazy.

I think Tibbs is an idiot.

He should have called a timeout.

He did get kind of screwed by like a weird set of circumstances that the Knicks were in the bonus or the I think the Pittsburgh were in the bonus so you couldn't foul.

He had to burn a timeout with Josh Hart getting hurt, which is kind of stupid when a guy's on the floor that you have to burn a timeout.

And you kind of want to save your timeout if you get in a situation where you have to advance the ball to half court late in the game.

But still, you have to fucking get those guys in the game.

You can't let a minute and a half go by with both those guys standing and watching at the scorer's table.

He also got screwed by the court, too.

Jalen Brunson, when he hurt his leg.

I don't know.

I'm not an MSG expert.

That's probably memes.

Actually, Max, you guys are both, I guess, different kinds of MSG experts, but memes.

For Madison Square Garden,

the court that they have there.

Sorry, Max.

The court.

I've always heard people say it's like a trampoline.

It's known that it's a little bit more bendy than other courts.

Is that just because of the hockey arena underneath the ice underneath, or what's going on?

It's possible.

He just seems to hurt that right leg every single game.

Does he need to wear high tops?

I think he might.

It's just every single game, it just.

Oh, the court.

Did you see the replay?

Yeah, well,

it was like, remember Armando Baycott in the Final Four when the floor panel just gave out on him?

Yeah.

It was crazy.

It was crazy.

You could see it bend all around.

When I say, I don't mean it's actually like a trampoline during games, but I've heard people say that it's got more bounce to it than other courts do.

Yeah.

Maybe?

I don't know.

Should we go to our other MSG expert?

Max?

Hank's still trying to figure out that joke.

I know.

His eyes were darting back and forth.

MSG is in Chinese food.

It's the.

You don't know what MSG is?

Frank puts it on everything.

Yeah.

Oh, it's like a sauce.

No, it's like a

artificial flavoring.

flavor enhancer.

Yeah.

And maximum.

Really good joke, PFD.

You have to explain it 10 minutes later.

To Hank.

You'll have to explain it.

Oh, that's a pretty good thing.

That's a segment.

Explain it to Hank.

Pretty good counterpoint.

Pretty good counterpoint.

Yeah, I don't know if this is an old man take, but when I saw Brunson's ankle do that, I was like, dude, fucking get some high tops on.

And lace those things tight.

I've actually heard that high tops make you more likely to sprain your ankle.

If you wear them all the time, because if you don't wear high tops, then all the muscles in your lower leg, the small ones get stronger and they provide more support.

You

sound like you've been paid off by low-cut shoes.

No, I looked this up a couple years ago.

There's a study that was done on it to see the incidence of ankle injuries.

Yeah.

Those are definitely the people that just walk around barefoot all the time.

It might have been, yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, I don't think any guys really wear high tops.

So I understand it.

It's probably also harder to cut and move laterally in high tops for a guy like Jalen Brunson.

But I still was like, man, get some high tops on, bro.

Lace those things up.

But yeah, I don't know what Tibbs was doing.

This series has been fun.

Maybe not the best basketball, but it's been fun.

And I'm excited to watch game six.

And I think the Pistons are like,

they're in the gravy.

like portion of of being in the playoffs where yes obviously they very much want to win this series, but like, it's a young team building, and all of these games are big for their future.

Hank, who would you rather play?

That doesn't matter.

I'd rather, I'd rather play the Knicks just because I want to crush their souls, but it doesn't matter.

I don't care.

Wouldn't that be wild, though, if Tobias Harris beat you?

Yeah, I mean, that something drastic, maybe like MSG's floor broke Jalen Brown, Jason Tatum, Drew Holiday, and Derek White's knees.

But

that was crazy to throw that out there.

Okay.

That would be wild.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

You guys want to quickly talk about tonight's game?

The Nuggets were

insane from three.

Like, I feel like Jamal Murray hit 100 threes.

I don't know if that's an actual stat,

but there was that stretch in the third quarter where they basically were

after game four, was it?

No, yeah, game four, when they gave up the 22-point lead,

even though they ended up winning.

I feel like they coming into halftime in game five, they're like, we're not going to let this happen again.

We're going to keep the pedal to the metal because they were so hot from three.

They ended up 51%,

almost 52% from three, and Jamal Murray hit eight of them.

Yeah, you just can't beat a team who is shooting like they shot.

on a night like tonight.

And now when you've got Good Russ either.

Yeah.

Good Russ came out big time, and he was feeling himself.

He was cussing out the crowd.

He was he was doing a lot of shit tonight and yeah, making a lot of big shots.

Also, Christian Brown has become a very, very solid player.

Yeah.

He's like, I think you need a young guy like that with a team that's been good for a few years.

Get a new young guy in that's just faster than everybody and let him give you a little bit of energy to stretch the floor.

But he's he's been fun to watch.

Yeah, he was all over the boards.

And yeah, I mean, Jamal Murray ended up with 43.

Like that was, that's the, that's what you just need from Jamal Murray.

Like, I know 43, you don't need 43 from him, but Jamal Murray is a guy who has that in him.

It's not like a Gary Trent doing it twice in a series.

You're like, holy shit, how'd this happen?

Jamal Murray can be that guy.

And if you just get that, the Nuggets are really, really scary.

Yeah, I would say if, like, obviously Jokic is going to get what he's going to get.

And it's rare that he'll have an off night.

But if he plays up to like his standard, then if you can get a good, solid night, like a really good night from either porter or murray then i think the nuggets are going to win like 95 of those games yeah it's just a matter of having one of those guys get hot uh i i think this will go seven i mean i want it to go seven i think it's going to go seven thursday night will be fun though because we get both game sixes uh and then we should talk about monday night the

warriors rockets

Pretty much exactly how I expected this to go in the fact that the Rockets have had a really good season or a good team.

They're just too young for these moments.

And

we had it all because it wasn't even Steph.

Steph didn't have to do anything, didn't have to be Steph.

Jimmy Butler was back, played really, really well,

told Dylan Brooks to his face, you a bum and a bitch and you weak, which was a very funny clip because the ref came over and said, are you talking to me?

Ready to tee him up?

He's like, no, I'm talking to Dylan Brooks.

And the ref was like, oh, okay, no problem.

You're right.

Like, carry on.

And then Jimmy Butler, like, abused Dylan Brooks and got in Dylan Brooks with the foul that basically decided the game.

But the story of the game, Draymond Green just had the most Draymond Green game possible because

he had six points, eight rebounds, two assists, five fouls, a flagrant, and a tech.

So he had five fouls, a flagrant, and a tech.

He basically

And then he and then he had a game high set plus 17, and he was playing like great defense down the stretch because I don't think that Draymond Green has to get to the edge.

He was all out of ⁇ he couldn't do anything else.

He could not have any other whistle go against him when you have five fouls, a tech, and a flagrant.

And he was right on the edge.

And he's like, all right, now I'm going to play great defense.

You know, it's going to be a very dangerous night when Draymond hits his first two shots of the game and they're both threes?

Yeah.

Because at that point, Draymond, he's like, my work here is done.

Like, I've contributed on offense.

Now it's time for me to really impact the game in every single possible way that I know how.

And yeah, they hit him with the technical.

And then for the kick to the head, the refs gathered around.

They looked at it.

There was also an attempted kick to the nutsack that they kind of just poo-pooed away.

They looked at the review and they said, okay, we can't give him another technical because we can't kick him out.

But...

We can say flagrant and he's allowed to keep playing.

And I think everybody thought that Draymond was going to get kicked out at that point, including Draymond.

He was sitting on the bench like, oh, fuck.

And it was funny because he knew that he couldn't do it.

He knew that he had to like try to tone it back once he got teed up.

And so you could see him actively trying to like talk himself out of getting technicals.

Yeah.

And then you get him on the ground and all that goes out the window.

And he's like, I got to start kicking somebody.

Yeah.

He basically played the rest of the game with two strikes.

Like

he was choking up on the bat.

It's like,

I got to foul some things off.

I got to make sure that I don't make it out here.

It was crazy.

You can't get more than five fouls a tech and a flagrant.

And great defense at the end.

Yeah.

Shutting that down.

Yeah, it was pretty incredible.

And by the way, underrated, like,

the, the, um,

YouTube puts up the final like six minutes of every game, which is pretty sick.

Uh, if you ever miss any of these games that we're talking about, Jimmy Butler's rebound on Shingoon's miss with like four seconds left was insane.

He just skied over everyone to get that rebound.

And I mean, he's just, I thought he was going to be injured for a long time and he, he was, he scored 27 points.

And that, that rebound, like, I'm going to say right now,

rebound of the first round.

Oh, I like that.

So you're saying that Jimmy Butler has beaten the unathletic allegations?

Yes, that was my rebound of the first round.

Okay.

Because the Rockets are so much bigger than the Warriors.

And if

Shingoon misses one like that,

you're hoping like he shot with with five seconds of the shot clock because you're like, we'll hopefully get an offensive rebound, be able to win the game that way.

And he just skied over everyone, rebound of the first round.

Now, is the Aaron Gordon buzzer beater?

Is that technically a rebound?

No, I'm counting that as a pass because I love Jokic so much, even though he said it wasn't.

It was definitely an assist.

Yeah.

Yeah, playoff Jimmy's back.

And did you hear what Playoff Jimmy said about playoff Jimmy?

No.

So this is very confusing, but try to follow me on this one.

He initially denied that playoff Jimmy exists.

So he said, man, I think it's a facade that people have created over the years.

Playoff Jimmy.

I know what I'm capable of.

I can tell you that.

And now just wait, because after saying it's a facade that people have created that doesn't exist, he then goes on to say,

I don't really just take it up a notch.

I might have the ball a little bit more.

I might be a tad more aggressive looking to score, but you're talking about somebody that's going to do anything to fucking win.

That's a motherfucker right there.

The person they deemed as playoff Jimmy, he'll die die out there.

He really will.

It's scary.

He really will die out there.

So

he started off by saying, no, that's just something you guys talked about.

And then he thought about it.

He was like, yeah, no, he's different.

Playoff Jimmy's a different guy.

I can't be responsible for anything he does.

But yeah, he's, man, the Warriors, I think, what are they, like 20, I want to say 26 and 9 or something since they got Jimmy Butler?

Yeah.

27 and 9.

27 and 9.

And I think most of the losses they have are either without playing Steph Curry and then to a couple really, really good teams.

But the Warriors are not, they're not the team that started the season.

They are one of the best teams in the NBA right now.

And you have to be sick of the Rockets because this was a very winnable game because you had Fred Van Vliet go off.

Shingoon was awesome.

This is, though, my point going into the playoffs, like the young team, Jalen Green, like that's your second leading scorer.

And he just, he was a no-show.

And that's just what he's been this year.

He's either been incredible or a no-show.

And it's like that consistency and being able to win games when maybe your best player or second best player is not shooting well, but he just, they're just a young team that's going up against the wily old vets.

And Dylan Brooks, the minute that Jimmy Butler said that you, you bitch, you, you weak, you a bum, I was like, he's got him right where he wants him.

That's exactly what he wants.

And with Jalen Green, he I thought it was either Shaq or Chuck that said it after the game, but they made a pretty good point, which is that he was only three for eight, which isn't, it's not terrible.

It's not, it's not a good game.

It's not terrible.

But one of them said, like, you don't even know if you're having a cold bite if you only shoot the ball eight times.

Right.

And you're, do you got to be, for the Rockets to be like a real contender, he has to be shooting the ball more and scoring more.

Like, that's just a fact.

You know, you can't rely on Fred Van Vliet to go eight for 12 from three.

So to have him do that and then lose that game, that's brutal.

Yeah.

And when he didn't have a a good Steph Curry.

Yeah, right.

So that's.

We didn't get a blowjob night from Steph Curry.

No, we had the J-Butt

Pazemski and Draymond Green playing at the edge all night.

Did you hear Bill Simmons say that?

Yeah.

That a Steph Curry game is like getting head.

I think he said it's like hating on blowjobs.

Who does that?

No one.

I mean,

you got to clarify because I don't like to give blowjobs.

That's true.

There's two sides of that coin.

A Draymond night is more like anal sex.

It's like fun, maybe sometimes, but it's also a little dangerous and someone's going to get sore.

A Draymond night is like BDSM.

Like one of those dudes that goes to a sex dungeon and has a chick step on his balls with high heels for four hours and then he comes.

It could be fun if you're into that sort of thing.

I'm not saying like all the time.

Don't touch him.

Yeah.

We're sex positive podcasts.

Yeah, I needed Rasillo, though, to

chime in in that moment and just be like, you got a big oral fixation, Bill, or something like that.

Just reverse it.

You got to say getting blowjobs.

But

he is right.

Hating on Steph Curry.

Like, I love Steph.

I don't know anyone who doesn't.

Well, I would never hate on somebody that liked to give blowjobs.

I always hate the dude.

There's always some dude who's like, I don't even like getting blowjobs.

Like, fuck you, dude.

What are you talking about?

You're a piece of shit.

That could be a good strategy, though, if you're if you're like younger i'd say in your early 20s or so and you tell a chick you're like yeah you know i don't know blow just never do it for me and then in the back of their head they're like well the way i do it yeah tommy smokes i think says that i think he says he doesn't like getting blowjobs like fuck you dude yeah that's that's weird like what are you talking about you're just trying to be different like that's come on don't do that uh

All right, should we talk hockey?

Yeah, we got to talk hockey.

By the way, did you guys see

we're not in studio, so we can't play the video,

but put a note in it for take of the year

or takeies.

Did you guys see Rich Eisen almost cry about the Shador prank call?

I did not see that.

It was quite something.

And we like Rich,

but he was almost in tears.

Now, was he crying for the future of our youth?

He was crying about the whole incident.

Like, if you took out the context of it being a prank call,

you could definitely convince me he was talking about like a horrific like tragedy somewhere.

Okay.

I'm going to have to look this up.

I'm going to have to watch it.

He's going to have to be in the takesies because it was something.

Apparently, Connerly, the guy that the commanders drafted, he got prank called too.

And there was another guy that got prank called after he got drafted.

And they told him that you're getting traded.

Oh.

So this is like, now we're up to like six guys that these dudes prank called.

Yeah, a lot of prank calls.

Are prank calls back?

Yeah, the jerky boys are back, baby.

The jerky boys were the best.

I remember having those CDs.

Fucking awesome.

Was it the jerky boys?

What was the

was that Toll Booth Willie?

No, that was Sandler.

That was Sandler.

Sandler did some The Goat.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The Jerky Boys did Terrorist Pizza.

That was their big hit.

Jerky Boys are so funny.

All right.

Let's talk some hockey.

PFT, I don't know why you guys didn't play tonight.

I'm pissed off about that.

I really wanted to.

But we've got some, so we got eliminations.

Devils are out,

which I think we're going to get to that moment later in the podcast where Max was like, no, the Devils are still in.

And we're like, no, dude, they're probably out.

But it was a crazy game because it was an overtime game, 5-4, double overtime game.

The hockey playoffs have been.

incredible.

And by the way, I know

we've been promising, but we have confirmed Ryan Whitney will be on the show on Monday's show so we're going to recap all of round one and preview round two but they have been every single night like the lightning panthers series incredible with the hits and everything that's going on ekblad's uh elbow he got he got we we went from i think uh hagel took out barkov and then ekblad took out hagel And now Ekblad's out.

They're just getting each other's out with injuries and suspensions.

It was a gnarly elbow, too.

The uh, the Panthers were

playing a little chippy the other night.

They were boarding, they were just ramming guys' heads into the walls.

They're uh, they're a physical team.

I do not want to play the Panthers in the playoffs, but I have uh a confession to make.

I tweeted this out because there's a couple people that have been tweeting at me a lot in the last couple days.

I kept something from you in my recap about my visit to Montreal.

Um, so you went to Super Sex?

I did not go to Super Sex.

Remember, it shut down,

yeah, allegedly.

I did leave the game early.

Oh, I saw, you know what,

I got sent a video.

Yep.

And

I did not retweet it because I was like, fuck it.

He might just be taking a shit.

And I'm also defending.

I'm not going to put my boy out there.

I'm going to defend him.

But I did see a video of someone on the opposite side.

Yep.

They had your seats pegged and they're like, where are they?

Where are they?

Yep.

So I was at the game.

I was in my seat for almost all of the game.

And then in the third period, Oldie and I were sitting there.

We're depressed.

Caps are losing.

Boys are no longer buzzing.

And there's about three minutes left in the game.

We're down two goals.

A lot of time left.

We just got a penalty against us, though.

So we're about to go man down.

Down two.

with about so when they needed men the most you were like super sexy hit the super sex i turned in i turned into a boy is what I did.

And I, yeah, listen, I feel like in that situation, you're not going to come back if you're down two goals and you also have two minutes where you're down a man, right?

It's a NHL playoffs, man.

Anything can happen.

It was bad.

It was bad.

And I also gave a lot of bulletin board material when I just glazed Montreal.

I just like sucked their building's dick for about five minutes on part of my take.

And I just have a feeling that if it goes back there, there's going to be a lot of that thrown in my face.

So I'll have to deal with it when it comes to me.

But yeah, I wanted to let you guys know that I did

regrettably leave the game about two and a half minutes early.

May or may not because I wanted to go super sex.

I think that's okay.

I mean, I, yeah.

You were down.

Well, you were down two?

Down two and a man down.

And a man down.

Yeah, that game was over.

I wasn't going to leave until we got to Pennsylvania.

Yeah, that game was over.

Got to beat the traffic.

So, yeah, this Lightning Panthers game, though, that was one of the craziest games because we had two separate instances where the teams went two goals in 11 seconds.

The Lightning did it in the second period.

They went up 2-1.

It felt like they were going to win the game.

And Ekblad, who...

By the way, he got suspended two games for his forearm.

He did not get a penalty in the real time because the refs just missed it.

Which is crazy because it was the most blatant forearm that I've ever seen.

I texted Whitney and I asked him, I was like, what is this?

Like,

is it, this is just hockey?

Or they just met.

He said the refs were just out of position and they just missed it.

Like, they just didn't see it.

So,

and then, and then Eckblad scores the goal to tie a 2-2.

Then 11 seconds later, Seth Jones and the Lightning are now, it was like the Lightning were about to be 2-2 in the series, and now it's 3-1 Panthers.

That game was so awesome, though.

Yeah.

And this series does have a lot of bad blood in it, which is great.

So I can't wait to watch the rest.

Yeah, it's very funny to look at, like,

like I said, Hegel

injured Barkov, got suspended for game four,

then came back,

got injured by Ekblad, then Ekblad got suspended for the next two games.

They're just passing the torch of it.

It's great.

It's playoff hockey, baby.

We also,

the stars absolutely shit pumped the avalanche, which was,

it was crazy because they they scored, I don't know, it was like a minute into the game, and then three minutes into the game, the announcers were like, this is actually the longest.

They've doubled up how long they've had a lead in this series because the Stars, up until that point, had two overtime wins.

So they weren't leading any of the, like, they had been leading for like a minute and a half, the entire series.

And then they just, they absolutely like, the one cool, cool thing about hockey playoffs is sometimes you can turn on a game, and this has kind of happened to you in game three in Montreal.

The arena feels so loud and crazy, and the team has such a jump that you're like, there's just no chance of losing tonight.

Yeah, you just know.

You can feel it.

Right.

And yeah, the entire West, these playoffs have been incredible.

So I think on Monday before the games, was it every series was 2-2?

Yeah.

And every series in the East was 3-1.

Yeah, it's been great.

I really can't wait to talk to Whitney about it because I know that he's able to watch the games and actually pick up on what's happening out there.

I have a kind of an understanding, but it's typically limited to when I think the announcer's wrong, then I just bury that point deep in my head.

I'm like, okay, now I've got a handle on it.

Did you guys also see, which I loved,

Messier?

Messier was like,

I think he was getting on his high horse about Ekblad's elbow and was like, you know, that's crazy dangerous, all this stuff, like to the head.

And then the ESPN producers just got a like one-minute highlight reel of him doing the exact same thing to like a million different guys.

Yeah, it's great.

I love it when that happens.

Biz from time to time has been known to wander into a similar situation, but it's like when Rodney Harrison's on Sunday Night Football talked about how like James, James Harrison is a disgrace to the league.

Yeah.

Yeah, exactly.

Oilers finally beat the harmonica band.

Yeah, uh that's tough.

I'm glad that they brought him back, and I love that the crowd sings along, too.

They should hand out harmonicas.

Like, more, the whole crowd should, if you know how to play, join in.

Yeah, that series has been nuts, too, because it feels like the Oilers have been dead 17 different times.

Uh,

and they're now up 3-2 in this series.

And we should have mentioned, we are now officially on,

is this going to be the Leafs?

Like, this would be very funny.

They lose to the Senators.

We weren't really in that game.

You got to start getting nervous.

It's 3-2.

You can't,

you can't lose.

I mean, game six is back in Ottawa.

Yep.

If they get to a game seven, oh my God.

Yeah.

I think that if you were to ask Maple Leafs fans, yeah, you're up 3-1,

but tonight was a must-win because of what you said.

Game six, Ottawa is going to be an insane environment.

It's going to be super tough to win there.

And then game seven is the biggest, the biggest butthole pucker game of your life if you're a Lee's fan.

It's like, how much more sad can things get?

This would do it.

This would get more sad.

Yeah.

And it wasn't like the Stars Avs game.

Like, they didn't get killed because I think it was 1-0

through the first two periods.

But what happened is Omart got a shutout.

and was making some incredible saves.

And then the senators opened it up in the third period.

You don't want to let a goalie get hot.

You don't want to let a goalie get hot.

Well, in the first period, the Leafs had so many good chances.

Yeah, they did.

And that top line that the Leafs have, especially their power play unit, their power play unit is insane with all the goal scores that they have.

They've got Tavares, they've got Nielander, they've got Austin Matthews, obviously, and I'm trying to remember who else.

Oh, Mitch Martyr.

Yep.

And they were getting great chances, and they just couldn't score.

And it was like after, it was one of those games where it felt like the Leafs were the better team in the first period, but the fact that they didn't score made it seem like they were down like four to nothing.

Right.

Right.

And, and

yeah, goalie gets hot.

Oh, boy.

Oh, boy.

Um, all right.

Anything else before we kick it to ourselves?

We got some good hot seat cool throwing.

We're going to, we're going to defend our girl, Jordan, again.

Uh, and then we've got two great interviews.

Hank, what do you got?

Yeah, just abolishing

in-studio broadcasters.

Celtics had it tonight.

Uh, the two guys were not in the garden.

I think that's crazy for the playoffs.

They had like

this

I at first I thought the crowd was dead because of just the way they mixed the sound where it's like you could tell that the two guys commenting were in a quiet room and they just had like the crowd volume on low, so it sounded like a dead arena.

And I know it's been an issue with hockey.

Like I've seen

I know Bluttman's posted some of the like, you know, TNT with the in-studio announcers versus a Canadian feed with the announcers in arena, and it's like night and day.

Like that should, that just needs to not be a thing.

I have a question.

How much money it saves.

It's good for golf.

It's bad for real sports.

I have a question, Eck.

Yeah, PFT.

So the police officer that gets to sit behind the Celtics bench.

Yep.

How do you get that job as a cop?

It's got to be the best cop job.

Are you talking about the guy that looks like Feidelberg?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And he's there all the time.

How is that his job?

How is that like on the day that you graduate from the police academy, they're handing out your beats and they're like, okay, yeah, you're going to be in Southey.

You're going to be in Duxbury.

You're going to be sitting in the second row behind the Celtics bench.

I feel like it's, you know, just seniority.

You got to know a guy and, you know, you do a favor for the right guy.

Then all of a sudden you're behind the bench.

Are they doing cop activities while they're at the game?

Because every time I see the guy, he's just watching like a fan.

I think it's like security details.

Yeah, it's like the cop at the end of every football game walking,

probably.

Yeah, good.

Listen, I don't want to blow the guy's spot up.

I don't want to make it seem like I'm accusing him of not working.

It just seems like the best job that you could ever have.

Yeah, it's also like a universal thing.

It's not like it's a Celtic-specific person.

That guy does look like Feidelberg.

He's in the Fidel Verse.

Yeah.

Yeah, remember the

Coach O's guy who was like

400 pounds of muscle?

Yeah.

And like 6'6?

Now, is the Celtics cop, is that a different one from the right field Finway Park cop?

Yes.

I think that guy retired.

That's another great job.

To be like sitting, facing forward at a game is pretty sick.

Because like being security and having to stand under the basket and looking at the crowd would suck.

But being able to face forward,

that's a primo job right there.

Good gig.

That's a good gig.

Missoula probably is like...

I'll find out.

I can probably do some digging internally on how that guy got his.

I bet Missoula was like, if shit goes down,

I don't want you helping me at all.

I'm going to fight my way out.

If you try to defend me, I will come after you.

He doesn't want that shit.

Okay.

Let's take it to ourselves.

We got two great interviews.

Rose, Hot C, Cool Throne, Max's White House trip.

Pretty fucking cool.

We're going to recap it all back in studio.

Okay, let's do some Hot Seat Cool Throne.

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Henry, hot seat.

Cool throne.

My hot seat is love.

Yeah.

I don't know why.

There's just media reports.

You know, we talked on Sunday about

Jordan

and Jordan.

Yeah, by the way, about the book tour.

By the way, we were our fault.

It's Jordan.

Oh, is it?

I don't know.

I just like saying that.

Jordan.

Jordan.

It's exotic.

And, you know, we also we love love and

we have her back.

We root for love.

Because we want Belichick on the show.

Right.

And

the fake news media and big tech are doing their best to just take down this beautiful couple by releasing reports that, you know, there's concerns within the UNC organization about this relationship and her involvement with the football program.

There was reports that she stormed out of that same interview for 30 minutes, causing a delay.

All reports.

None of this has been verified.

This is TMZ, the fakest of the fake news.

But yeah, love is on the hot seat.

So I think that's trying to, they're trying to tear down a beautiful couple.

It's the dynamic duo of TMZ and the New York Post.

Ugh, reporting these things.

Disgusting.

I saw the headline in the New York Post.

It said that the relationship, or at least Jordan, is a runaway train.

Right.

Runaway train.

Runaway train.

That's probably.

I would imagine that.

Wait, what?

They said the relationships are runaway.

They called her a runaway train.

And I thought maybe that quote came from Belichick because maybe she's just got a caboose that won't quit.

Yeah, which is so facto runaway train.

Isn't that a song?

Runaway train.

It's a great song by Tom Petty.

Yeah.

That's a great song.

So actually, it's a compliment.

I guess.

I mean, Tom Petty's a legend.

So to say that she is a Tom Petty song, that's a pretty good compliment.

And Jordan's a cool ass chick.

Yeah, and it sucks to see people tearing her down like this.

Here's what I'll say in defense of Jordan.

She's handling it very well.

Yeah, so she posted on Instagram a long email screenshot of Bill Belichuk talking about the book and how the media is going to only focus on him saying

that he lost and not focusing on the 250 pages of him talking football.

That email, by the way, was definitely sent by Bill Belichick.

Bill Belichick.

Belichick.

He wrote that.

Yeah.

And also,

it's very funny because

when you hype up a book, that's how it works.

They take one excerpt that's like, they don't really care about what your game plan was in the Super Bowl.

They care about

you saying something salacious, and then they hype up the book that way.

Does Jordan know how hype works?

I think she's hyping it right now.

She is hyping it, but they didn't want him to talk about the relationship, and she did storm out for 30 minutes.

Allegedly.

Allegedly.

Per reports and big tech.

And also, what if she...

All right.

You know what?

Because we are a Jordan podcast because we want People Bocheck on PMT.

What if she just had to take a shit?

Yeah.

30-minute shit.

What's the problem there?

What, girls can't shit?

Again, misogyny is at play here.

I saw her Instagram post.

My favorite part of it was that it was used the soundtrack for the post of Taylor Swift.

Oh, nice.

Look at what you made me do.

There was also

slide carousel posts.

The first post was the screenshot of the email.

The second post was a screenshot of a video from her camera roll that was 35 minutes.

Oh.

No other context.

Okay.

What was on it?

No other context.

No, in the 35-minute video.

Did you watch a screen?

Like, if you took a, you know, if you looked at your phone,

it had like, it was just like,

there is a video that's 35 minutes on her phone.

But the screenshot didn't show anything.

Wait, that is the most disturbing thing I've heard so far in this relationship, that she has a 35-minute video that she took on her phone.

Maybe it's the 35-minute she was taking a shit.

I may be.

She seemed to be alluding to that.

Do you think she took a video of herself taking a shit?

Because that's what, you know, look what you made me do.

I won't watch it.

I will not.

I'll listen.

I won't watch it.

5.59.

There's just two pairs of feet on the ground.

Feet?

Wait, what?

You said feet?

There's two pairs.

The Tootsies?

Is this the shit?

What is this video?

What the hell?

Again, she's handling it

perfectly.

See, this is not not crashing out.

I'll say this.

I'm going to follow her on Instagram right now.

You already follow.

I don't, but now I do.

Also, she is, again, not crashing out, just simply retweeting people that are defending Bill Belichick on Twitter.

Is she?

Yeah.

Like this person replied to Florio said, or maybe she didn't want her or their personal relationship to be part of the interview instead of on football.

I think if they don't want to talk about, they shouldn't.

And if anything, your article, Demons, Demons Why, demonstrates why, trying to embellish and take things out of context.

Retweet.

Dennis Byers with an egg profile said the interview was supposed to be about his new book, about his dad at Navy.

They were wearing Navy for this reason.

Retweet.

Again, handling it well.

I see a woman who cares about her man and doesn't want him to be screwed around by the media.

This is from Texan Nightmare.

She's probably not going to fuck you, bro.

Nothing awkward about it.

Imagine a private person wanting to keep their private life private.

Shocking.

She's not exactly

a private person anymore.

Yeah, she is running comms for the UNC football program.

Right.

And posting

probably the most famous football coach on her Instagram all the time.

Retweet.

Well, I'm looking at her Instagram posts here.

Riddle me this.

How does one write a review about a book they haven't read?

Oh.

It sounds like she's going on a one-woman tirade against everybody in the media right now.

Actually, also, Riddle riddled me this.

I have definitely done that.

I've definitely done that.

I think multiple times someone has asked me to write a review or give a blurb, and I'm like, cool, no problem.

Did not read the book.

I've reviewed movies of books that I haven't read.

Yeah.

So, like, I can tell you that Da Vinci Code sucked.

Here you go.

I just saw the movie.

Great movie.

Either way, we're Jordan's show.

And we have no ulterior motives outside of trying to get Bill Belichick on the show.

And we've been,

it's clear that the keys to Bill Belichick are dangling off of Jordan's

very expensive purse.

And we love love.

And we love people having to take 30-minute shit breaks.

Hank?

Run away track.

You do that all the time.

Right when we do hot seat cool throne, you're like, I'm out of here.

Run away tracking.

We did have one interview on this show.

I don't know if you want to say the name or not that had a similar

where we interviewed a person and their manager, possibly,

possible relationship there.

Oh, not interjecting.

Not that person.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

That was someone else.

Remember that?

Yeah.

Doesn't this seem exactly like that relationship?

Wait, who is it?

We can bleep it.

He's really tall.

Very tall.

It was a long time ago.

With mixtape.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

With Kareem.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

It gave me that exactly.

Also, Kareem is credit to Kareem.

He's one of those guys that has the reputation of being tough to deal with.

And then he was.

And I was like, you know what?

Respect.

Because you don't want it to be the reverse.

You don't want someone to be like, hey, he's the friendliest guy.

Like, it would break my heart if, like, Adam Sandler, when we interviewed him, was a dickhead.

He was the nicest guy ever.

Kareem, I knew going in, is like, he might not like us.

And he did not.

I don't necessarily think that Kareem's even a jerk.

I think he just is a private person.

He doesn't like doing media, but he knows that he has.

He's really good at basketball.

He knows he has to do it sometimes.

Like Jordan.

Who does it sound like?

Jordan.

Jordan.

It sounds like Belichick.

Yeah.

Jordan.

Okay, so Jordan, keep doing you.

Retweet.

We got to get memes.

Try to get retweeted by Jordan.

Reply to Florio or any account and just be like, you know, and tag her and be like, can't a girl just have love and be private?

I feel like it's got to be like Shane.

Yeah, Shane.

Has Shane.

We'll have Shane here.

All right.

Shane's, Shane's, Shane's got to get retweeted.

Are we getting our presents today, by the way?

We are getting our presents.

Yeah, fine.

Yes, okay.

Everyone but me.

Okay.

Well, you don't need a present from Italy.

You just go to the fucking meatball hut every day.

All right.

Cool throne?

My cool throne is...

Where did you just get trapped to?

Did we lose you for a sec?

Well, I was pulling up.

My cool throne is Alex Cooper.

I just saw this before the show that Hulu's doing a two-part documentary.

So is that part on her and

Alex.

Part on Sophia with an F?

I hope so.

I feel like with the way things have gone with that, like they're just not going to mention Sophia with an F somehow.

I don't know.

Do you think that Roan and I will be in this documentary for the time that Sophia with an F and Alex Cooper told us we had small dicks.

Hopefully.

I'm very excited to see how they.

She wasn't wrong, by the way.

I thought that was a great episode.

Yeah.

But I got taken aback because

I tweeted about it, and

someone in the replies goes, quotations, Alex.

So what are your thoughts on Henry Lockwood IV?

I wish I was the fourth.

I'm not.

And then the answer was, well, Hank is a bit of a grumpy guy who doesn't really know ball and is scared of the Knicks, but also afraid to admit it.

And that.

Wait, what was that?

When did she tweet that?

No, this was someone in the reply just making up a fake question answer.

Got it.

Got it.

And in this hypothetical, I'm a grumpy guy.

A grumpy guy.

Doesn't really know ball and is scared of the Knicks.

I don't think you're also afraid of two minutes.

I don't think you're scared of the Knicks.

Thank you.

Everything else.

Hank, when I saw this news, I thought the same thing as you.

Two parts.

We're doing two.

Why not four?

Yeah.

Why not five?

Why not six?

Why not just a daily show?

There's nothing better than the documentary that could be like two episodes or one episode, and they stretch it to three, and there's just that middle, the middle where it's just like, or four.

It's just that third episode that's

the yak.

Yeah, it might have gotten sold before.

I mean, they should have an episode about the Milfunner.

They should.

Yeah.

They should.

They won't.

What if Doug's got in there?

Or me, the hooligans.

We should do an Alex Cooper.

Yeah, and talk to me about that.

I would do an Alex Cooper documentary from our perspective.

I respect how fucking rich she is.

Yeah.

I really do.

It's insane.

Dude, she's killed it.

Nothing but respect.

Yeah, it would be funny if we did one from our

perspective.

And it was just like, so yeah, we saw her one day, and then a couple months went by.

She came out to Field Day that one time.

And we saw her again.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, Field Day.

I remember that because I actually, they want, Sophia with an F and Alex Cooper wanted to get lunch and field day was right by my neighborhood.

And I walked back to my apartment with just me and the two of them.

And it was, we had nothing to talk about.

Nothing.

I remember that episode where the two of them were talking about like the size of guys' dicks in the office.

Yeah.

And all I took away from it because they mentioned me and they said, yeah, PFT's got a big dick.

And I was like, this is a very awesome episode.

I love this episode.

And then Big Cat and Roan came walking out and they were pissed off.

And I was like, why are you guys so angry?

That was a great chat.

I mean, again, they got it right.

So I wasn't

able to do anything about it.

But it was cool to hear.

And when someone says, hey, you got a small dick, I'm like, yep.

What are you going to do?

All right.

Is that it?

Still get laid.

Yeah.

Cool.

The cool thriller is actually the Giants.

Oh, no.

Well, that's crazy because my hot seat was the Giants.

Oh, I had the New York Giants on the hot seat

because although they seem to have made some good moves in the draft, they took another step back yesterday because at the White House, our president Donald Trump was addressing the Philadelphia Eagles.

I don't know if you guys saw that the Eagles went to the White House yesterday,

but he was talking about, he did like a full season recap of the Eagles, going back to like week one and just gave basically a play-by-play of every cool play that happened that year.

But he said in the offseason, they picked up Saquon.

He was on the Giants.

He was a great player.

I told the Giants, I told them, do not let this guy go.

He's a great player.

They didn't listen to me.

They let Saquon go, and now he's with a great team.

It just must have felt bad for anyone.

I felt bad for Giants fans that had to listen to that.

Yeah.

And then the Giants, they actually had to release a statement saying we did not, in fact, talk to President Trump prior to letting Saquon Barkley go.

Yeah, it was so, Max, the completion of one of the best story arcs in pardon my take history.

Jerry O'Connell calling us as Big Dom, pranking you, you getting so upset that you almost quit the show, leading to the real Big Dom texting me and you and being like, my Paisons, this can't stand.

We got to get Max at the White House.

Turns out you went to the White House.

Tell us how how it was.

It was great.

I mean, Big Dom hooked it up per usual.

It was a buzzer beater.

Like Sunday, Sunday right before the actual day happened, he hit.

We were in talks, but nothing was official until Sunday.

I got the official invitation.

You know, it was mostly just like, it was the team up doing the ceremony and everything.

And then it was a bunch of

politicians and like their plus ones who are all Eagles fans that were like

and then it was me so it was like a bunch of Eagles fans that were like what are you doing here what are you doing here how did you end up getting in here and then luckily big dom hooked it up it was cool I mean I've never obviously been that close to the White House that's pretty damn so I was in the South lawn saw the entire thing go down big Dom you know

he did it again big Dom's the best I'm forever forever grateful for Big Dom and

It was the only way that that story could have ended.

Dude, that picture of Big Dom where he's standing like above the whole team was was so badass.

He's just the man.

He was the first person that Trump shout out and brought to the stage.

Yeah,

he brought Big Dom up there.

He's like, you're a big guy.

You're great at your job.

And Big Dom shook his hand and said, my Paison.

Yeah.

I mean, that's just his, his, his,

let me, let me, that's just like his meeting call, right?

Yeah, yeah.

But, but, but, Max, think about this.

Like, so we watched the whole thing from, from here.

Uh, Trump's whole speech was hilarious because he basically just did a play-by-play of the entire season.

He was just like, and then Saquon jumped over two guys.

Which played.

It was all Eagles fans in the crowd, and they were like, yes, that was awesome.

Yeah, that was awesome.

Yeah.

He kept on going through the whole season.

So

for you, like.

It had to be a crazy moment to be like, I'm standing on the lawn of the White House while the president talks about my favorite team winning a Super Bowl.

What the fuck is going on?

Yeah, no, there's many times where this show has brought those sorts of moments.

That was definitely among the top.

It was just like, what I am so out of place here, but you know, just happy to be there.

So you took a piss in the White House?

I took a piss outside of the White House.

Oh, did you get in the White House?

Wait, you took it in the Rose Garden?

No, there were

bathrooms set up.

At any point when you were on the White House lawn, were you thinking about Hamas?

No, Hamas.

There were a lot of Photoshops of Hamas.

Okay.

I took the picture, and then, you know, the internet ran.

The internet ran so much.

So Hamas.

MAGA MAX comments.

Yeah.

Make America Max again.

I'm down for that.

Mama.

Just Max.

Just Max.

It's just Max.

Very cool.

Do we give any credit to Jerry O'Connell?

No.

Oh, you got to give credit.

Max, that's bullshit.

That's bullshit because Jerry O'Connell without Jerry O'Connell, that would not have happened.

Jerry, yeah, obviously, that's the only reason it happened.

He set the wheels in motion.

He did, but I still don't like him, you know, having this victory lap.

I think Big Dom is going to invite you regardless.

I don't think that Jerry is going to be.

I agree with that.

I agree.

Big Dom is my guy.

Big Dom was going to make sure that I got in there.

I saw him also defend vigorously the tush push.

Yeah.

That had to make you feel.

Donnie Trump defended the tush push up there.

He said it's a great play.

It's a strong play.

They shouldn't take it away.

And bring back the kickoff.

And then in an ultimate direct shot at our friend Sam Schwartz.

Trump won't fucking stop taking a direct sniper shot at Sam Schwartzein for his kickoff rule.

Like Sam has been watching TV.

He's been watching football his whole life.

He's been playing football.

He came up with a play that he thought would be a benefit to the game.

He's very proud that it's in the NFL, and now that it got there, the president of the United States keeps talking about what a shitty rule it is, and he just has to sit there dealing with it.

Like, god damn it, so funny, it is very funny.

Well, uh, have you thought though, all right, so you're not gonna give credit to Jerry O'Connell, but we could use Jerry O'Connell for future.

Like, what if Jerry O'Connell

prank calls you and says he's Nick Siriani and says, Hey, I want you to uh come out to training camp.

I think you'd, we have a roster spot for you.

And then you get pranked, and then Big Dom texts and, like, that's unfair what they did to my Paison.

We got a roster spot for Max.

I'm retired from all Jerry O'Connell pranks.

Okay, retired from pranks.

It would be a real shame if Jerry were to call up impersonating Tom Cruise and to be like, PFT, I'd like to invite you to be in the next top gun.

That would go.

That's that would suck.

Don't do that.

Jerry would be like, sorry, Tom.

I can't actually fly.

I'm scared of Heights.

Yeah.

I can fly.

Are you scared of Heights?

I'm scared of heights, but I can fly.

PFT, don't let Hank do this because I got something for Hank later.

I can fly.

Don't you worry.

I'm not letting Hank get away with anything as long as I'm not outside.

Don't you worry.

I got something coming up on my hot seat.

Hank, you can't even get 10 feet off the ground.

Don't talk about heights.

Don't you worry.

I'll tag you back.

I'll tag you in.

I'll let you know.

I'm going to give you PFT.

Oh, really?

Because that's dunking height.

No, dunking height is actually 10-7.

Okay, you can't get 10-7 off the ground.

PFT, whatever.

That's a big seven inches.

When I give you this,

when I do this,

that means you're ready.

Okay?

So just look for the.

Big Dom also FaceTimed me when he was with Lane Johnson, Jordan Milata, and Saquon.

So

I have a screenshot of a FaceTime with me and Saquon.

That's fucking sick from like 100 people.

That's sick.

No, no, no, just like on the phone.

No, but I'm saying, like, when he FaceTime you, you were like.

No, no, no.

This was after the phone.

Okay, got it.

Got it.

Got it.

What would you rate the experience overall?

10 out of 10.

Big Dom's the best.

Yeah, he is the best.

He is.

We will forever be a Big Dom.

If there's two things you can take from this podcast, it's that Big Dom is our Paison.

We'll defend him to the ends of earth.

And Jordan, keep doing you, baby.

Yep.

But one more than

one way more than the other.

Yeah, Jordan.

Yeah, Jordan.

Jordan is number one.

PMT Power Rankings.

In fact, I would have Jordan on the podcast without Belichick.

Yo, absolutely.

Without a doubt.

She deserves her two-part Netflix series.

Oh, Jordan could maybe, listen, Jordan's doing a pretty good job of managing an NFL, now college coaches whole calendar career.

Maybe Jordan manages Jerry O'Connell.

Oh, I like that.

I think Jerry would like her.

Give her a little piece.

Jordan, my take.

I like that.

Okay.

My cool throne is billionaires paying for a fair amount of their public-private fucking stadium purchases.

So, Josh Harris, great owner.

Some would say the best owner in sports, right, Max?

Say it again.

Josh Harris, maybe the greatest owner in sports.

Yeah, no, I

all Commanders fans are now Sixers fans.

If the Wizards don't get the number one pick, wouldn't mind it if the Sixers got it because that's just a testament to Josh Harris's ownership.

The process has worked, the results of the process haven't worked.

Yeah, but you got to trust the process of the process, which is what he's in charge of.

As my friend Stephen Chase says, great value.

Great value.

The Sixers have gotten great value.

Tremendous value.

It's not over yet.

So this is actually very

big piece of news for Washington, D.C.

and Washington sports fans is that RFK Stadium is coming back, which is, we had that stadium for, I want to say, like 30 years or so in the heart, in the district itself.

We moved out there in like 97, 98 to suburban Maryland.

into a soulless toilet bowl of a stadium that was it just only existed to generate revenue at the expense of fan convenience at the expense of the fan experience while you're at the game i bought tickets there my first game that i went to i bought tickets didn't have a lot of money I spent like 50 bucks on a Skins Giants game.

Went out there, and I was seated directly behind a giant pillar, a cement pillar.

I could only see from within the 20-yard line on each side of the field.

That stadium was a dump, and it still is a dump.

It's a piece of shit.

And it's also just out in the middle of nowhere.

It doesn't tie anything into the community.

The team practices in Virginia.

They play in Maryland, like 50 minutes outside the city.

It sucks.

Bad place.

RFK Stadium is where the stadium should be.

And they announced yesterday that they're going to go back to RFK.

They're going to build a new stadium there.

Hopefully get a Super Bowl.

Hopefully get, I don't know, maybe the draft, but concerts and all that stuff.

I think it's a great plan.

The one thing that does concern me a little bit is that I don't think that they've officially cleared everything with the city council yet.

They did this announcement, and then I heard on the radio a couple council members being like, yeah, that announcement kind of came as a surprise to us.

I don't know why the mayor did that.

So my guess is it's going to happen, but there's probably going to be some concessions back and forth.

Some like, make the council members feel like they get their pound of flesh.

As someone's going through this right now, you're going to have to negotiate with Arlington Heights as well to see if you can get a better offer.

And then we'll have to get Kevin Warren to look at the chairs.

Yeah, yeah.

And then only then.

Stadiums are hard to build.

Sign it off.

I mean, even in Arlington Heights, that's still Chicago.

Yeah.

Where we built this stadium for FedEx Field, it will go down as the tombstone of a

soulless project that was run by greed that accomplished nothing except to piss off an entire area and lose interest in the team.

But it was DMV.

because like Arlington Tyran's Chicagoland.

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean listen, all these stadiums, there's a ton of stadiums that are not in the cities.

Right.

This one though was especially egregious just because it was it was designed with like absolutely no care to the fan.

We had to spend what it was open in like 98.

We had to spend a long time out there and it sucks for skins fans.

There was no good way to get to it.

I'm glad that now it's in the district.

You've got Metro, you've got all this stuff.

I hope they bring back the stands that used to bounce that we used to have at RFK.

Now, when they originally had those, it was just because people were jumping up and down, and the stadium wasn't that well built, so the stands would move and they would shake.

I hope they put hydraulics in so that you can actually have a section that you can get in,

make it bounce up and down.

That'd be really cool.

It's honestly the coolest thing ever.

This is what I've wanted for the longest time, is for the team to move back to the city.

So, I'm very, very, very excited about that.

New ownership actually works.

Well, what happened was the day that Snyder sold the team, the mayor of D.C.

was like, yeah, okay, now we'll have the conversation Because we just gave up on dealing with that piece of shit.

So credit to Josh Harris, Max.

Josh Harris.

Great owner.

Families.

Great owner.

Yep.

And the Devils were in the playoffs, too.

They were.

So what a great season it's been for Josh Harris.

Yeah, absolutely.

Technically still in it.

Technically, well.

Are they playing tonight?

I don't know.

We already recorded.

We're doing this out of order because we want to make sure everyone has their updated games.

I get all my devils news.

As of right now, they could be out of it.

I get all my devils' news from Frank the Tank.

So, as far as I'm concerned, they have been out of it for six months.

Also, Juan Soto has not gotten a hit this year.

Correct.

Juan Soto.

What is Juan Soto?

Can I see Juan Soto's stat line real quick?

Because I have seen, this is just, we should just do this as a random segment.

Like, what do you think this player is doing based on Frank the Tank's

tweets?

So I saw Frank the Tank tweet a couple days ago that he was batting like 100.

I think he's probably batting 240.

Based on Frank the Tank's treats, the Devils did not make the playoffs.

The Mets are 500, and Juan Soto's batting 120.

Yeah.

What is he batting?

267?

257.

257.

267?

I mean, that's not, like, obviously you want Juan Soto to bat higher than that, but that's not even close to a historically bad year.

I think that's the lead.

That's probably above the lead average.

Click on Juan Soto.

What's his career average?

It's definitely higher than 257,

but it's probably not like

what's his career average?

Are you just getting

some max was so much smoother when you weren't here?

I'm not going to lie.

Oh my God, he's so.

What do you mean?

I clicked on it.

The lookup was bad.

Dude, the issue.

How drafted?

How was that bad?

You said Juan Soto, I clicked on his fucking name, and you guys are like, oh, the lookup.

But you just looked at

284.

285.

284.

What did you want me to do there?

Bad lookup.

How is that a bad lookup?

Well, you were just kind of lost.

Well, sorry, I don't, I didn't memorize exactly where ESPN puts all of their career stats.

Okay.

Just take some accountability.

All right, my hot seat is accountability because, well, it's two people.

It's me and Hank.

I'll go first.

I fucked up like seven things on Monday.

The value did have time put back on.

ESPN fucked me on that, but I'm accountability.

Also, there's just like incredible

running backs named number 22.

It's Emmett Smith, Matt Forte, Derrick Henry, Christian McCaffrey with the Panthers.

Najee Harris probably doesn't belong in that group.

I can't remember numbers for the life of me.

Didn't you say wide receiver number 22, though?

Yeah, but then when we said running backs, I was like, well, that's a bad running back number.

And then everyone's like, dude, Emmett Smith.

Okay.

I still agree that 22 is not a good receiver number to look at.

Well, the Eagles have a receiver that's picking number 46, which I'm sure I'll probably fuck up and be like, there's some 46, I don't know.

But are you guys

still that's still invalid for fullbacks?

You should be allowed to do that.

I know.

Yeah, and kind of safeties.

Yeah, like a hard-hitting box safety.

Yeah, yeah.

I know quarterback numbers.

I don't know any other numbers.

Like, Stephen Shea blows my mind when he can just, he's like, oh, yeah, I know, like, Valentunis' number.

Do you guys know numbers?

I'm decent with offensive numbers and football.

Basketball is pretty hard.

But I feel like I'm good with wide receivers, running backs, quarterbacks.

Yeah, I don't know.

Defense is a toss-up.

I don't know

basketball numbers to save my life.

Football numbers, I think I'm like average average at.

I know quarterbacks.

Yeah, quarterbacks, I can get.

Yeah.

Yes, Mames?

We did this on MacroDosing.

Yeah.

He brought us in and we picked a lottery ball number and you had to.

Pick anyone?

It's actually a fun game.

Do it right now.

Let's do it.

It was so bad.

Number two popped up and then like afterwards you're like, all right, Zach Wilson.

That's just Derek Cheeter.

Like I know like the most famous person.

People are mad at me because

I didn't know Cam Juergen's number off the top of my head.

Right.

Like I just told him.

Yeah.

So Tom Brady.

Fuck.

I think that's Aaron Rodgers, or was he...

Did he change?

Yeah.

See, I don't.

12 in Green Bay.

I'm so bad at numbers.

I just, those are details that I just can't

remember them.

That was the easiest one ever.

Do one more.

That was hard.

Can't believe you didn't get it, Hank.

15.

That's Vincent Holmes.

Oh, you said Vince Carter.

That's good.

See, I would never have gotten it.

I know that.

I just remember that as a kid.

I liked Vince Carter.

So

whenever 15 was a number, it was like, oh, yeah, that's Vince Carter.

I think that if you.

Yeah, do a number.

Those are both very.

I think if you did, if you gave me a multiple

choice test, I would do okay.

Because it's like one of those things that if I see the number and the name, I can be like, yeah, that was probably his number.

But if

I have to get it from thin air, I just got no shot.

All right, just let Big Cat do this one.

I mean, Darryl.

Let's do a solo one.

I know a lot of the numbers, like one through five everyone else to chime in.

One through five from playing Beard Eye.

Just say people's name.

What is that?

90.

90.

That's a tough one.

Except, wait.

See, I'm not good either.

White Freeney.

Is TJ, is he 90?

He might be.

I think Julius Peppers might have been 90.

Yeah, TJ's 90.

Can you see that?

Puna Ford, maybe?

Puna Ford?

He might be 88.

Oh, there we go.

Julius Pepper's 90.

Nice.

I just so bad at it, though.

I still agree, though, that 22 is.

Yeah, it's tough.

It's tough.

There's been.

Actually, my real take is you have to be great to be 22 as a running back.

Because it is, like, there's McCaffrey Panthers, Emmett Smith, Matt Forte, Derrick Henry, and then it's like the next one is Najee Harris.

I still think that Zero is a bad, bad choice for Zach.

Yeah.

And then Hank.

Hank is on the hot seat.

He is.

My boy Hank is a pussy.

Whoa, this is, yeah, okay.

This is, I'm watching this new show you should watch at PFT.

I think I've recommended it to you, Mobland.

Yeah.

Basically, Tom Hardy is just Tom Hardy for the whole show, and it's so badass.

And I've been, I don't have anyone, like, it's a weird show because I don't think there's any buzz about it, but.

It's really, really good.

It's about London mobs, and it's just, it's a great show.

Is Tom Hardy playing like a a British mobster?

He's a fixer.

Is he American?

No, he's a British mobster.

He's a fixer.

And he's a badass.

Pierce Brazin is in it.

Great, great show.

Roll it in the skull.

So I've been looking for someone to talk to about it, and Hank said he started watching it.

So I came in this morning.

I watched the last episode last night.

No spoilers.

Everyone should go watch it because we should talk about it.

And I was like, Hank, have you caught up on Mobland?

And he was like, no, I'm only on episode two.

I was like, why, dude?

There's five episodes out.

How do you?

It's one of those shows that if you watch one episode, you you got to watch the next because it gives you cliffhangers and it's just great and hank said he can't watch any type of violence at night before he goes to bed what is that now is that because it amps it gets you too jacked up no he said he gets scared this was this is like four or five this is pre-covered i i've i made this switch uh

ah maybe during covet i forget whatever yellowstone i why are you bringing covet into this i was trying to think of the timeline it's been like this for a while i've been it was Yellowstone.

I was watching Yellowstone in season one or two, and I was watching before bed and proceed to have the most detailed and violent dreams of all time that I would wake up and be like alarmed that my brain could even get to that point.

Because obviously the dreams is like real life, and I'm just like doing like crazy shit.

What were you doing?

I know it's killing people.

You just...

It's not before you go to bed.

You get high before you go to bed, and you can't watch a show when you're too high.

No.

No, Max is right.

No, he's like, I get that.

Like, I don't want to watch something that's like, if I'm super high and I'm watching something that's freaking me out, that'll scare me.

No,

I think it's just that I do not freak out when I'm holding it.

He said he dreams, and then he threw me into it.

He's like, I'm not going to watch a show before bed, and then get violent dreams.

It has nothing to do with

watching the show.

I think it's that you get super high before you go to bed.

Yeah, and that's your dreams.

I don't do that.

PFT, he then threw me into it, and he said, Yeah, I get violent dreams after watching a violent show, and I'll kill you in my dreams.

He said that to me.

He said he's killing me in his dreams.

Which is why I stopped watching shows like that before.

But that's like, we need to get you some better help because like that's but like you're you're making it worse by now shaming me for like trying to stop myself from having

I have I want it on the record

in your life and then when you watch a show that's very violent then you have violent dreams at least that's how I diagnosed it.

I would like it on the record.

I am not shaming Hank.

I just think he's a tremendous pussy.

Fair.

Thank you.

So you dreamed about killing Big Cat.

I was having violent dreams for like a while.

Tell me more about killing Big Cat in your sleep.

Did you ever kill Ben FT?

I'm better helping him right now.

I don't know.

This was a while.

This is a long time ago.

Tell me more about that.

I don't remember.

I stopped.

I blocked.

It was a really traumatic experience.

I thought I've blocked.

It sounds like that was a tough experience.

Have you ever had those types of dreams before?

No, it was pretty much only in this two-week period where I was watching Yellowstone.

But then the follow-up question is, when do you watch the violent shows at like 8 a.m.?

No, like, you know.

know, when did you watch Last of Us last week?

I don't watch Last of Us.

That was a violent one.

I don't either.

Yeah.

When do you

catch up?

When do you when do you watch your violent shows?

Do you set like a reminder?

Like, oh, I'm going to have

like a brunch and I'm going to watch Mobland because I know that I won't.

I would say before like 10 o'clock.

And if it's, if it's, if there's a chance that I fall asleep during an episode, I won't watch it.

This is not a fall asleep show.

I'm a fall asleep guy.

You are.

Now, Hank, does that put that on a quote card?

Hank, does that,

like the fact that you watch Mob Land or that you won't watch Mobland at night?

Like, I'll watch an episode at 9 o'clock and then just throw on some golf.

Fall asleep to golf.

What about if you watched like a sexy show at night?

Would you then dream about fucking us?

Possibly.

Good question.

Have you ever fucked any of us?

What qualifies as a sexy show?

I don't know.

Porn?

Romance?

Yeah, I mean, I've definitely watched porn before I've gone to sleep, and that hasn't happened, so I guess

do you?

So I think that means that you just want to actually kill us.

Because if it was equal, then

I feel like I've like I was alarmed with the dreams I was having, so I stopped

the thing that was causing me to have those scary dreams.

You guys are like worried about the dream.

I told you that the dreams were fucked up.

Like, I said that.

It was like, yeah, I had some really fucked up dreams.

I really didn't like it.

So I stopped doing the thing that made me have those dreams.

And you guys are now hung up on the dreams I was having.

Just wake up.

I'm so mentally tough that I control my dreams.

Me too.

Sometimes in the middle of the dream, I'll be like, yo, PFT, this is a dream.

Open your eyes.

And then I'll be like, okay, I'm back.

Thanks, dream, PFT.

Yeah, I'll be like, hey, big cat, you're a fucking moron, dude.

You're dreaming right now.

I did that two days ago.

I was like, this is clearly a dream.

Let's just get out of here real quick.

Let's hit the reset button.

Good for you.

Did I ever defend myself and kill you?

Again,

that would be reality.

I feel like I might have even talked about this when it happened.

But yeah.

I had a dream last week that I was going to fight White Sox Dave and Rough and Rowdy.

Hell yeah.

That's all.

Have you ever had any dreams with Steven?

Oh, yeah.

I also had a dream that my girlfriend cheated on me with Stephen J.

Oh, that's brutal.

That was bad.

He's really good at eating box.

All right.

My cool throne is our friend, recurring guest, Brandon Bean.

Bill's GM.

So Brandon Bean

had had enough of it.

And this is one of my favorite moves whenever a a player or coach or GM does this.

He called into

a local Bills radio station and basically roasted the guys because they were saying that they don't have any wide receivers.

This was the Jeremy and Joe show on WGR 550.

And

Brandon Bean called in and was just like, you guys wanted me to draft Josh Rosen instead of Josh Allen.

You guys, like, we scored 30 points in all of our playoff games.

We need to fix our defense, not our offense.

You guys are idiots.

I just like any GM that sticks up for themselves.

Yeah, I mean, he makes a good point, which is that if you had this complaint, the time to voice it would have been last offseason after they lost Diggs.

Yeah, although they did draft a receiver last year.

Yeah, but

the time that you would have had to voice this complaint would have been last offseason.

That's what he said.

Yeah.

And he's like, this year, our receivers were not a problem.

I actually, I love Shakir.

Yeah.

Shakir's awesome.

I think he's a great player.

So, yeah, I liked hearing him do that too.

And he was ready.

Oh, so he was ready for it.

He had the notes ready to go when he sat down that interview.

And if, in fact, they did claim you should have drafted Josh Rosen instead of Josh Allen, if that did happen, I think that Brandon Bean has a get out of jail free card for life from those guys.

Agreed.

Like, no matter what he does, no matter what happens to the team, no matter what boss he drafts, he gets to be like, you wanted Josh Rosen.

Yeah.

I was ready.

The argument is over.

That is the biggest decision he possibly could have made as team manager, and he got it right.

Therefore, you just have to accept the fact that you're dumb, he's smart, he's right, you're wrong.

Yeah, but I just

am all in favor of

like sports talk radio GM just being like, you know what, I was in my car, heard you guys, you're wrong.

I'm calling in.

Great move.

Great move.

Big Brandon Bean fans.

Okay.

Good hot seat cool throne, everyone.

Let's get to Christian Yelich.

And then we have our interview with John Summit.

Really good interview.

If you don't know who he is, he's probably the biggest DJ going right now.

He came in studio.

Both these are in-studio interviews.

So PFT, let's do Christian Yelich.

Okay, before we get to Christian Yelich, we're brought to you by our friends at Game Time.

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Hank, what do we got?

We are looking at tickets to the Chicago White Sox.

Oh, you can get in tomorrow for $3.

Oh, Christian Yelich.

You can see Christian Yelich.

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Okay, here he is.

Christian Yelich.

Okay, we now welcome on our very, very, very good friend, recurring guest.

It is Christian Yelich from the Brewers in studio.

Here, you saw the office.

It's good to have you here.

I just looked up your name, and I want you to guess what the headline, the most recent headline in the news is.

About me?

Yeah.

It's got to be, be is it something with this no no no not that quick christian yelich's ghastly error cost brewers and brutal loss to giants yeah that was a tough one was he what happened in the error well he airballed a line drive what how does that happen i think i don't know just didn't catch it

what and when that happened i fell down after after i tried to go get it

oh yeah what what happens when you get to the dugout after that Nothing.

You're just like, fuck.

Does anyone try to joke about it or no?

We joked about it later like a day later but then we we ended up losing that game bad series for us so nobody was talking about and then the next day we all kind of like laughed about how i tried to tackle a flyball and then fell fumble recovery in the outfield just yeah all around bad scene tough scene for the boys but what what when when an error happens in the outfield is there like a moment where you're like oh i'm fucked like right before where you're like i just misjudged this because i'm always shocked how good you guys are with it oh wow i'm watching it That was really bad.

Yeah.

Holy shit.

Oh, my God.

It was in your glove.

Tough.

Yeah.

It was exactly.

It was in my glove.

I'm not even going to my glove.

The gloves fall.

Two hands.

Errors in the outfield are way worse than errors on the infield for whatever reason.

Because anytime you're like back to the field,

chasing the ball after,

something bad, something really bad has happened.

That's got to be a very, very lonely jog that you have to do when you're like running back to the warning track to get it.

Yeah, that.

And then when you're just sitting out there afterwards.

Yeah.

It's like, like, look what you just did, you know, and you're on the road, you're like, oh, this is a great time.

Everyone's having a great time right now.

This is so much fun.

You can hear the fans.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's good.

I don't recommend it.

I don't recommend it.

Yeah.

But it does happen.

But the opposite, I would say, like, when you, when you throw someone out, that has to be like a top.

Yeah, that also doesn't happen all too often.

So that was the next part that was going to have to happen in that play.

If I actually caught it, we were going to have to try to throw the guy out at home.

Oh, so that was probably what you were thinking of.

Like, I got to deal this throw.

Yeah, we won't make excuses for it, but yeah, I was trying to kind of catch it and throw it all at the same time.

We just skipped the first part of that whole equation, didn't catch it, so we didn't get to throw it.

All right, well, we got the hard question out after there's like a dicey play in the outfield.

Do you just wait staring at the scoreboard, being like, Come on, rule that a hit, rule that a hit?

No, that was not even close to being a hit.

That was straight up, just top spin line drive, airball.

I don't think we've had, we had you on, what, two years ago, so it was right before all the rule changes.

What, What has the pitch clock been for hitters?

Is it better?

I think it's great because it keeps the game going.

Keeps the game moving.

There's like a long game now, it's three hours.

That used to be flying back in the day.

Where if you played in three hours, you were super stoked because usually it was like three and a half, four hours.

Right.

So now...

like the games move even you know even blowouts even when you're losing by a lot or you're winning by a lot like they still go quick which is which is cool right when it first started you have to remind yourself got to get back in the box yeah like there was a month, like, spring training basically was like the adjustment period, and then after spring training, it was fine.

Yeah.

Do you think it's an advantage at all for hitters that pitchers have to go at a different pace?

No, I think everyone's pretty used to it now.

I think before people would forget about it, and now you see, like,

one or two of those a month, like, for both sides.

It very rarely happens now.

But I think it's been good because it just, you know.

keeps the action going, keeps the game moving.

There's no minute, like a whole minute in between pitches, you know?

So that's good.

It's good to get that out of the game.

And since there hasn't really been any issues with it either, it's been something that's been good.

What about the robot umps that they're thinking about putting in?

I know they've tried it out in the minors a little bit.

Have you guys had any because in spring training, you had some of the robot ump where you could challenge, right?

Yeah, but I never played in a game with the challenge because it was only at some stadiums.

Yeah, it wasn't all of them.

And I never made it to any of those stadiums, I guess.

So there's never any like challenges that we got to do.

But I think it'd be, I think that would be like the furthest extent that you'd want to see it.

I don't want it full.

I just don't think it would be good, but that's just my opinion.

I think in big spots, if there's an egregious miss or something like that, I think even the umpires would probably want it to be

corrected.

That way it doesn't impact the game.

Yeah, the way that they're talking about implementing it, it's interesting because they're going to put it up to the players.

So it's not going to come from the dugout.

It's going to be the player gets to say, either the catcher or the batter, I'd like to challenge this call, and you only get a certain number of them per game you got to watch out for guys that are just like looking after their own stat line being like hey i know it's the top of the second inning there's a zero zero not the time to do it but i think that that was a ball yeah it's like no not the time yeah they measured us for it in spring training like we had to go like get measured for the electronic zone oh for the strike zone yeah like they came they came to the facility and like you I don't know, we had to like stand.

It was like you're getting your height taken.

If you're like the doctor or something, they have the thing that goes on top of your head and then some cameras all around you and it took like 10 seconds so every person's strike zone is a little bit different yeah

yeah that's pretty wild stuff yeah yeah uh dumb question for you because we're at the start-ish of the season what point at the start of the season are you like if you're not if you start slow you're like fuck this is the the average because it's always i i always feel bad for guys who like you don't get a hit the first week and your average is it's actually better to be zero yeah than to be like it looks like like you haven't played yeah right everyone's like oh he hasn't had an abat yet yeah but at what point are you like all right i gotta start getting a couple hits here i think

right around now like if you're still like in the if like the hundred like you're for like around a hundred yeah you know but really like the end of may you still have like a whole another month to go before

even if you like but even then you still have four months to play so you can still salvage it you know right but yeah it just looks real it just looks ugly yeah you know yeah i was flirting with a 100 earlier this year, just kind of hanging out around there for like a week or so, and it feels like an eternal, you've played like seven games, so it's not that big of a deal, but it just feels like forever.

Wait, so did you have the moment?

Because did you not get a hit for the first few games?

No, I got one like the second, but then I didn't get like another one for a while after that.

So

we were one for the season for quite some time.

Yeah.

But you agree, though, like hitting zero is like, who cares?

And then the minute you get that first hit, you're like, shit.

They actually registered.

now it's point eight one yeah

it looks like on uh on april fourth you were batting point zero eight three yeah so when you get on base on april fifth are you doing the math like okay that's one hit so now my average should be 0.92 no because i can't do that i can't do that i can't do that math

you just know like some some seasons like you kind of start and it's it's just like you get off to a hot start and you're kind of cruising the whole season.

You're like, that's way better, by the way.

I recommend that one.

Other times you get off to like a really bad start and you're like, man, like, here we go, dude.

Shoveling a hard hat the rest of the season because you're digging yourself out of this hole for months.

But that's how it goes, you know?

Yeah.

Do you have a way to get yourself out of a slump?

No.

Eat ass.

No, no, no, no.

Full uni shower every now and then.

Some guys are full uni shower?

Straight uniform, just right into the shower, cleats everything.

Just turn the, you know, really?

get it off you.

Does it work?

No.

Let's try to try it.

Yeah.

Hey, so, so, uh, another dumb question.

You obviously won the MVP in 2018.

Do you ever, how often do you think, like, well, that's pretty cool that I always had the MVP?

Because, like, once you do that.

That means you were the

best player in the National League for an entire year.

Yeah, I don't think about it that often.

I remember thinking about it that year in like the middle of September.

I was like, man,

if I don't mess up these next couple weeks, the rest of your life's pretty cool.

But I remember thinking about it, like, all right,

we've got like two weeks of games left.

Let's try not to mess this up.

Let's try not to mess this up, you know?

Because it can go either way.

You can get hot for two weeks and then that's what ended up happening and ended up winning.

Or you can just

kind of be feeling off up there and going a little bit of a slump.

there goes that.

So I was like, well, we'll see how our life is in two weeks and ended up kind of working working out and being pretty cool.

But I remember actually having that thought one day at the stadium, like, let's try not to mess this up.

Yeah, because it is for the rest of your life.

It's MVP Christian Yellow.

And it's never something that I thought I would do.

You know, it was one of those things like

how it's actually happening right now.

Yeah.

You don't ever start playing baseball and be like, I'm going to win the MVP one day.

You just kind of find yourself in the middle of it.

And it wasn't something that I ever expected, especially when I first started in the league.

Like winning an MVP was the farthest thing from my mind.

So when it kind of shaped up and happened like that, I remember, you know, thinking that it was pretty cool and let's try not to mess this up.

Yeah, you almost won back-to-back.

Yeah, if I didn't blow my kneecap up, maybe I would have had a chance.

Yeah, yeah.

So, how are you feeling now?

Good.

Good.

Yeah, much better than last year after surgery and all that stuff.

So, we got a new back, feeling pretty good.

Swing feels good.

A new back?

Swing feels good.

Tell me about what does that mean?

It's just cleaned up.

It's just, there's, you know, I had to get some stuff taken care of back there.

And

it feels a lot better than it had like the last few years.

So that's exciting.

You know, home run derby ready, if you will.

So, yeah, you hit a grand slam the other day.

We get tagged in every single one of your home yards.

Every single one of your home yards.

It's just like hundreds of people tagging us.

So home run derby, is that you want to do that?

Like, home run derby is not even cool anymore.

I don't even.

You messed up the format.

I don't think it matters if I want to do it or not anymore.

I feel like I have to do it.

No, you don't have to.

It's more of like a responsibility than anything, just to, you know, just make sure you experience everything that Major League Baseball has to offer before you're done.

You wouldn't want to not experience something that's as cool as that.

It's all Mickey Mouse, though.

You don't even get to see the balls hit the ground.

They just, you know, one right after the other.

The camera works gone.

I don't think Chris Berman's even doing it.

It's lost a lot of its luster.

I think we can probably bring all of that back.

No, I wouldn't even want to see.

I wouldn't even want to win the home run derby.

Hold on, PFT.

Before you say this, though,

how is Atlanta for left-handers?

Because we should.

It's a good place.

It's a good place.

It is?

Shit.

All right, so maybe not this year.

We need to push him to do it a year where it's not.

Isn't the game here

in a couple of years?

I think so.

Yeah, I think it's like we need like a wind blowing out at Wrigley.

Oh, no, we don't need center.

No, we don't need that.

So, about that, like there was the game a week and a half ago, the Cubs played the Diamondbacks, and there was 21 runs scored in an inning and a half.

When you guys play at Wrigley and the wind's blowing out, are you just like, this is like pop flies are just yeah, well, it's like, I mean, it's one of the

elements have the most effect on the game at this field.

Right.

You know, like, we've played a lot of games here, too.

You know, if the wind pinned straight in and it's a cold day, like, you know that there's not going to be a lot of scoring today before the game even starts.

And then when you see the flags just pointing straight out with the wind howling, you know that if you just hit anything in the air on the barrel, it's probably going to be a homer.

That's to be the best feeling.

It has to be.

It's way better that way for a hitter.

Yeah.

Pitchers don't like it as much.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

What about in the outfield if the wind's blowing outfield?

It's not a good feeling either.

The outfield's not that fun of a time at Wrigley anyway, because

the foul lines are right next to the stands.

There's no foul territory plus the wind, plus the sun.

Ivy.

Ball goes in.

On the wind blowing in days, usually a lot of those games are decided by who messes up in the field.

Yeah.

That's you or them.

Basically, if a sunball happens, somebody drops one in the wind.

You know, those are kind of how those, that's how those games are decided, kind of.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I've been playing a lot of right field in softball.

How's that been going for you?

No errors so far.

You haven't missed any?

I haven't missed any yet.

Do you have any recommendation?

How do you track a ball off the bat?

What do you mean?

Do you have

any pieces of advice?

I know that it's easier to go forward than it is to go backwards.

That's the guy.

I got to won a gold glove in the outfield last year.

Me?

You saw what I did out there the other day.

Yeah, we got self-tackle here.

Yeah, I just need to know if you have any advice, any tips.

on how to track a ball.

Catch it.

Okay.

Just make sure you catch it.

Yeah.

Close the glove.

Close the glove.

Catch it before you try to throw it.

Two hands.

What about you try to throw it before you catch it?

It doesn't end up very well.

Do you try to position your body so that you catch it in a place where it's close for your hand to grab it and throw it?

Ideally, yeah.

Me too.

Right shoulder.

Yeah, me too.

I like to do that too.

I'm curious to know also, like, baseball has gotten tobacco out of the dugouts because they don't want guys on TV spitting all the time.

What is the spread like now?

Do you have sunflower seeds still everywhere?

Do you have nicotine pouches?

Just strictly sunflower seeds.

By one of those.

Good answer.

Just sunflower seeds.

That's it.

I've noticed that none of the guys are using nicotine anymore, which is pretty crazy.

Zero percent.

Do you do any

of the

I love whenever there's like a blood, the cups on the head or the hot foot.

Have you ever done any of those?

I don't think so.

It might have happened to me before, though, when I was a rookie.

I don't know if anybody ever lit my foot on fire.

Hot foot is so funny.

Every now and then it will happen.

You're like, wait, so the prank is just lighting his foot on fire?

And then it is.

Yeah, that's exactly what it is.

Which I think is pretty frowned upon.

I haven't seen that one in a while.

I think I have seen that one, but yeah, we haven't had a good dugout fire in a while.

Yeah, no, when they stick the giant bubbles of gum on people's ass without them noticing, that's always fun, too.

Yeah, that's a good one.

I like that one.

Are you pro-torpedo bats?

Yeah, I'm fine with them.

I think it was the most overblown sports story in a long time.

I think we had a lot to do with that.

Wait.

We kind of contributed to that.

Because you guys got killed by the Yankees?

Yeah, we sure did.

Yeah.

And then the bats became a thing.

It was just like perfect storm.

Yankees in New York, ESPN, gave up a lot of runs, a lot of home runs.

But Judge hit a lot of those homers too, and he wasn't using ones.

It's just another model bat.

Like everybody, all of us use different models, you know, so it would just be like a different model that you could bring up there.

So you still have to hit the ball, you know, which is the hardest part.

Yeah.

And it's just a feel and preference thing.

So if some guys are going to like them, some aren't, but it definitely didn't, it wasn't the reason why they scored, I think, 40 something runs on us in three days.

How often do you mess with your bat?

Do you like try out new bats?

I never do.

I've used the same one since I was 18.

I grabbed one that I liked early, and I've used the same model my entire career, like never, never switched it up, never changed it.

So I kind of like it because I don't have to think about it ever.

It's just one less decision you have to make every day.

But it takes a while to find.

I kind of got lucky and just found one that I really liked and worked for me, so I haven't changed.

And then other guys kind of bounce around.

Just a field thing.

Yeah.

Could you tell when the Yankees are up?

You're like, oh, fuck, this guy's got the torpedo bat.

No, it's not.

No, it's more so Aaron Judge is up with the basis loader right now.

This is not good.

Yeah.

Yeah, that was not good.

It's not good for the boys.

I have a kind of serious question because I know that you knew Bob Euchre, right?

Yeah.

So, funniest guy.

I never got the chance to meet him.

We never got him on PMT, unfortunately, but he seems like an all-time great dude.

Very fun Hang.

Yeah.

What was your experience like with Bob?

He would have crushed PMT.

He would have loved it.

This would have been right up his alley.

Yeah.

But I mean, it was awesome just because

the stories that he could tell and like the life he lived was unlike anybody else, you know, and he's, he was around all like some of the best players in the game, and he would just go out with these guys.

They were all buddies, you know, Mickey Mannel, Hank Aaron, like all these guys just.

hitting the town, having a good time before any kind of social media, cameras, anything.

So, you know, he had all those stories there'd be astronauts facetiming him from the space station for his birthday like just all kinds of just all kinds of wild stuff and like a crazy life and he knew everybody and had a story about everything and anytime you got to hang out with them was was cool because you just listened to him tell stories he's a great storyteller and had an amazing amazing life where he basically did it all you know yeah Yeah, I mean, it's one of those ones like the, I think it's baseball, too, like whether it be Vin Scully or like some of these guys who just it feels like they've seen so much baseball talking about the major league movie yeah Charlie Sheen right like all kinds of crazy stuff they're like a walking history yeah yeah knew every

tonight show like everything and you could also tell when he passed like they're the amount of people that loved him just because of all the outpouring like yeah it was very cool yeah I mean he's a huge part of the brewers too he'd been there forever and just really he'd come out hang out in the clubhouse almost every day when we were at home on the horse and just like hang out with guys tell stories hang out in the kitchen.

Just everything.

He knew everything about everyone, too, whether he'd been there for 10 years or had just been called up.

He knew everything about you and where you were from, what you're doing.

So

he had a unique way of connecting with people and making everybody feel like he'd known them their entire life.

Yeah.

Who's the best clubhouse guy you guys got right now?

I don't know.

These guys are all pretty cool.

Sal, Bryce, Bryce, Bowers,

Reese.

Reese is a good clubhouse guy.

I'd imagine that's important.

You need to like one.

Yeah, we got a good club.

We have a good clubhouse, so we've had it for a few years.

Yeah.

It's a big reason why I think we've been pretty good.

We're pretty tight-knit group, and

we're all pretty similar.

I'll get along.

It's super important, though, to have a good clubhouse.

Yeah.

When does it become hard to

get yourself amped up for every single game?

Because the season is so long.

Like, do you have to remind yourself to stay focused?

Just caffeine.

Yeah.

Caffeine, bro.

Firing them back.

Coffees.

No, I mean, I think we all kind of help each other out with that.

Like, when the game starts, we're fine.

And you play a major league baseball game, like, you're going to have enough adrenaline and energy to make sure that you can post that night.

So, there's not really any problem with that.

But, you know, the season gets long sometimes, and you just have to pick each other up and

help each other through the year at different points.

But we've done a great job of that.

We have a young team, which helps, too.

All young guys have energy and play the game hard.

hard, so everybody else kind of falls in line after that.

Respect 90?

Yeah.

Is there a pitcher that you go up against that throws a pitch that

gives you problems in particular?

Like the hardest pitch to hit in baseball right now?

I don't know.

I mean, they're all s everybody's so good now.

Like, every pitcher, I think, is like the best version that they can be.

Yeah.

You know, because of all the technology.

So, you know, whether they're one of the best in the game or or they're not, it's still the best version of themselves because of the technology that they have with pitching as far as like grips and kind of pitches and what kind of pitches you should throw, you know, as opposed to him.

Like you guys would have different pitches and how to do it and how to use them.

And these ones are good to this guy and not to this guy.

There's so much technology now where it never was.

It wasn't like that 10 years ago.

Guys would just throw shitty pitches and not know that they sucked.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They'd get turned around and be like, oh, well, that's just my curveball.

You know, I got to stop.

I've got to throw a curveball and they won't know if it was good or not.

From your perspective as a batter, is there a pitch that's come along since you've been in the league where you're like, that's a pitch that I didn't used to see?

I think guys like they call it, I think, sweeper now.

Those have all gotten better just because they've taught them how to throw them and how to use them.

Splits, like there's all that stuff.

They can just tell now.

They don't even have to watch the pitch.

They can just look at the data from the pitch and tell you if it's good or not and if it's going to play.

What the spin rate is.

Yeah.

And so like they'll either be like, no, that's not good.

You're not allowed to throw that ever again.

Or yes, that is good.

Use it with this pitch.

Right.

These are the pitches you're going to throw.

Right.

This is how you're going to throw them to each hitter.

Have you gotten a hit off Paul Skeens yet?

I have not.

No, I've only seen

two or three at-bats.

Is he as nasty as he seems?

Yeah, he's good.

Just because he's got good stuff, but he also knows what he's doing.

Like, he knows how to pitch.

Right.

So that combo is

pretty special.

Yeah.

He's pretty advanced for how young in the game he is.

But he's only pitched against us one time.

Yeah.

We only caught him last year at the end, and then we haven't played the Pirates yet this season.

Do you, when you DH,

do you like that?

Is that more fun?

I'm learning.

It's something that you have to learn how to do because

it's different.

Well, it's just different because you're not going into the field and you're kind of just hanging out, you know, and then you go hit.

So it kind of feels like pinch hitting a lot throughout the game.

Early at-bats feel normal, and then the later at-bats feel like you're kind of pinch-hitting.

So tried a bunch of different things.

I've stayed in the dugout the whole time, I've walked the halls of the clubhouses, I've gone in the cage a little bit,

go to the weight room.

So, you kind of just try to find a routine that you like and that you feel good with.

Yeah, for me, it's kind of different every day for me, honestly.

But I don't mind it.

I kind of like it.

Yeah, I mean, if you DH, I feel like it would be fun just hanging out with the boys in the dugout, and then you're like, all right, time to hit.

Time to go.

Yeah, four times, you know, maybe five.

Yeah.

Just hit, maybe hit, get one hit.

I just want to take my body out.

It's helped my body out a little bit you know how wait have you been dhing more this year yeah probably because of the error yeah yeah that might be why the error

that's why i just asked i could probably just i was like i could probably just leave my glove in this locker right here hans i mean listen i didn't know what i looked when i looked like because i was just looking for most recent news that was a ghastly error It was a bad one.

It was really.

It'll be on highlight.

It'll be on for sure like stadium bloopers and stuff like that.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

It's potentially.

That's an error that could keep you out of the all-star game.

Potentially, yeah.

Yeah, which then would keep you out of the home run derby.

Is that how it works?

Well, no, he said that he doesn't want to go to the all-star game just for the home run derby.

So as long as we keep Christian out of the all-star game, he won't be in the home run derby.

Yeah, surely this won't backfire on us telling everybody not to vote for Christian yellow.

It'd be a shame if we just tweeted that error constantly.

Preferably, but I think if it doesn't, I think before I'm done playing, I feel like I'm just going to have to do it.

You're going to have to do it.

Find a close one and just go and then have the all-star break if you're not in the game.

Do you have like an

amount of years that you like ideally want to keep playing for?

I think I have three more after this one for sure.

And then we'll see after that.

Wait, is that contract or

then one or two maybe after that one if everything goes good or feels good?

But we'll see.

So we got to get this thing.

We got to get this thing done soon, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

What's it like becoming a veteran?

Like a guy that 13 years?

The young guys are like

talk to Christian.

He's been around for a while.

He can tell you everything to do all the time.

I mean, I try, you know, but I don't know.

I think it depends on the guys you have, but we've got really good young players, you know, two of them over here.

It's been fun to watch them come in the league and like learn the league and watch them get better and

become like full-time major leaguers.

I think that's been cool, being able to help guys or talk to guys and see guys' careers progress.

It feels weird, though, because I was always like the young guy when I was younger, like always was the youngest.

And so now I'm pretty much the oldest, definitely the oldest position player on our team.

So it's a weird feeling and it feels like it flies by.

It feels like it goes by fast, right?

Like I'm sure it feels like that for you guys.

Like, man, we've been doing this for so long, but it doesn't feel like it, you know?

So it's been cool.

It's something that I've really enjoyed, but it's also a weird feeling.

Yeah.

It's going to feel great, though, when you retire and you get a summer.

Yeah.

Like to do whatever you want.

That part is going to be pretty cool.

Yeah.

It's pretty amazing.

Like people don't talk about that with Major League Baseball.

I haven't had one since I was 18.

Yeah, we're not going to cry for MLB players.

Good job on the contracts.

Guaranteed.

You got a pretty sweet job.

A lot of us, when we were kids, we wanted to be ball players.

But you guys don't get summers ever.

Ever.

And that's tough.

It's just, yeah, it's kind of weird because we just haven't had one in 15 years.

You're just doing baseball every day, which is fine.

Like you said, it's a good job, but you don't get to do all the summer things with everybody else.

Like, no 4th of July is no, you're not doing anything, you know, but

could be worse.

Thank you for your service.

Sacrificing your fourth birthday.

North of July.

Yeah, get out of here.

Have you ever pitched in a game?

No.

I'm ever going to do that.

I don't really want to.

You're not on the list?

No, not right now.

I think maybe in my last year, they might let me do something like that.

Rizzo did that, like his last year with the Cubs.

But it's not something that I don't really want to lob a ball at a guy and just stand there 60 feet away.

Yeah.

Please don't kill me.

Wait, so who's on the list on your team right now?

Like, who's Bowers has done it for?

I mean, he was leading the league in innings pitch at the beginning of the season

he had one of the most like appearances by relievers with the dra

zero he didn't go oh wow that's huge cutting everybody up the the game that judge hit three homers uh bowers bowers got him out he flew out to the track oh that's awesome that's pretty cool that's huge oh yeah yeah your your whip is really good uh let's see

4.5 I can't read all these stats there's too many stats do you think there's too many stats in baseball yeah because you're gonna be bad at something.

You can't be good at all of them, you know?

Do you guys find the ones that you're good at and just being like, look at this?

I don't even look at them because it's like they change every day.

And then half of them, I don't even know what half of them mean, to be honest with you.

Yeah.

I pretend that I know what they mean, but I don't know anything.

I just know the standard ones, you know, which is RBIs, Homers, OPS, war.

Yeah, but how do you get war?

Like, I don't know what no one knows.

I don't know how you get.

Let me see what you get.

I mean, missing five balls in the outfield.

I bet you that doesn't help your war.

Your career war is 42.3.

That's pretty damn screwed.

That's pretty good.

I think.

So you're responsible for 42 wins.

Yeah.

That's huge.

Above an average guy.

Yeah.

I think that's what it means, right?

Yeah.

Sure.

Couldn't tell you.

Hey, do you, I know you watched some football.

We had a debate on this show.

Hank thinks that Travis Hunter is more impressive than Shohei Otani.

No.

Okay.

It's impressive, but it's not.

Like, put Shohei, like, it's just insane that he's able to do both.

Right?

Yeah, I think I mean what Travis Hunter does is pretty impressive too like playing both sides in a football game, but Shohei is

maybe

he's definitely one of the best pitchers in the game when he's pitching and then he might be the best hitter when he's hitting right, you know, so

that combo and then he's one of the fastest players too, so he can really do everything the best, which is super rare.

Not that Travis Hunter can't do either of those, but

you don't know how it's going to go in the NFL, I guess.

The counterpoint, though, Shohei never won a Heisman.

Didn't win the Heisman.

Probably could have, though.

And he's never tackled anybody.

That we know of.

Yeah.

That's true.

We don't know.

Do you still feel good stealing bases?

Yeah.

You hit 21 last year.

Yeah.

Before I blew out.

Yeah.

And you have six this year?

Do you...

Do you.

Like, when you, when you, what's the strategy when you're trying to steal a base?

Like, is it all jump or is it...

It's a field thing.

Yeah.

It's a game, really stealing bases is a game like you got to pick your spots you're kind of

pretending that you're not gonna then you're gonna

um some guys you can some guys you can't it's it's a little bit of an art you know and something that takes time to learn right i learned a lot when i came to the brewers as far as you know stolen bases they're always pretty good at it and had had good people teaching it and um

you know it's actually with the cubs now quentinberry q oh this is the third base coach for the cubs so what uh do you have the green light to steal bases, or is it?

Yeah, all of us do.

That's kind of how our team, that's kind of how our team plays, like

wild.

We're just trying to cause chaos the whole game.

So, it's kind of fun to watch.

You don't really know what's going to happen because we don't know what's going to happen.

That is fun, but it usually works out for us.

Yeah, that also means, though, if you get thrown out, that's on you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So,

you have to go back to the dugout and be like, sorry, guys.

Is there a chance anyone could get it taken away from them, the green light?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, Murph will take it away from you.

He will.

So, if you get caught, how many times do you have to get caught for it?

He doesn't even have to get caught.

You need to do enough stuff where he gets pissed.

You have to talk to him.

Have you ever had the green light taken away from you?

No, I haven't.

No.

We've had it happen, though, before.

How hard do you have to work to get the green light back?

Usually get it back.

You just give it, like, they'll give you an explanation about, like, all right, can't be doing that.

Yeah.

It's back.

Yeah.

Don't do it again.

Do you have an art of how to get out of a rundown?

There's really no getting out of a rundown in the big leagues anymore.

Yeah.

You're getting a rundown, just like one throw and you're done.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That was like a strategy in Little League where it's like just get into a rundown and they'll throw it away.

Your best best to hope somebody gets like lazy on the throw and you can like bump into them, get a distraction.

That's how you get out of it.

Yeah, the old A-rod, slapping the hand.

Yeah, I mean, don't slap them, but yeah, if you just like somehow maybe clip them a little bit on the left eye.

What's your favorite unwritten rule?

There's no more, like, there's no more unwritten rules in baseball.

There used to be all the time, but

I don't know.

What's a good one?

I mean, bunting on

a.

That kind of happened to us.

Yeah, on a no-hitter.

Yeah.

That one's tough.

That one you have to be careful of because it's like...

But then if that's 1-0 or 0-0,

winning the game, you know, like, I feel like you can still bunt then if it's 0-0 or just because you haven't gotten a hit yet, you need to win.

Have you been part of a no-hitter or a perfect game?

I've been a part of a bunch of no-hitters, good good side and bad side.

How, so good side.

I think like three or four.

Does it get at what point in the game are you like, all right, we got a

seventh inning.

You're like, this is after the seventh inning, it starts to get pretty real.

Both sides.

If you're getting no hit or

you're the team with a no-hitter, I think after the seventh,

when you're getting no hit, how like are guys in the dugout being like, yo, we cannot let's get a hit.

We got to get a hit.

Somebody needs to get a hit.

Somebody locked it in.

Somebody's got to get a hit.

do you change up anything about your approach is that top of the ninth

anybody just get a fucking hit yeah top of the ninth you're down six nothing yeah you're getting no hit yeah and and you're uh you're leading off are you just trying to just slap anything possible just get a hit just anyway possible matter what you don't want to be you don't want to go down in history

yeah i think i've been on the wrong side of two no hitters

and then i think good side of like three or four

positive unwritten rules stealing a base if you have the green light stealing a base when you're you got a big lead late in the game.

How late though?

And how big is the lead?

Okay, eighth inning and you're up 10 to 2.

Yeah, you shouldn't.

Shouldn't steal a base.

You shouldn't steal a base.

You shouldn't.

But that's tricky, too, is because the other team's still trying, you know?

Yeah.

So it's like you're not allowed to try to win the game anymore, but you can give them a chance to catch up.

What about bat flips?

I'm fine with those now.

I think everyone's cool with bat flips.

Everyone's all right.

You have to be.

Now, like, when I first came up, it was something that was like they kind of everybody looked at it as like earned, like, you had to earn the right to do that.

Now you can hit your first helmer and throw it 12 rows into the thing.

That's true.

How cool it is.

What about why, why don't any teams do the hidden ball trick?

This doesn't work.

Why not?

You don't know.

Have you tried?

Have you ever tried?

Oh, I'm never on the infield, so like I can't.

Okay, but has your team ever tried?

No, well, that's the guy that talked to me.

No, why not?

Why not, Bryce?

Well, hold on, hold on.

Come here and

talking to Christians, Mike.

This is Bryce Serang.

Why don't you do the hidden ball trick?

Well, a lot of the times the umpires call time right when the guy gets on the base.

Right.

So they're like, time, get a new ball.

You'd have to do like a full

huddle?

Yeah, something like that.

And then everyone would have to put it in play, like, hey, play on or whatever.

Go.

Can you just try once for me this year?

Yeah, we can try it out.

All right, there we go.

All right.

Dude, it would be electric.

We might have just

hope it worked.

It would be so awesome if it worked

double it's like time yeah he's right though give us one try one try yeah that's all i would say that is a good point because like now anytime like the ball hits the dirt or is put in play like as soon as the play is kind of done like yeah we're running they do throw the ball out and right put a new one so it's it's different it is kind of hard to do it you would have to have like mound visit in play

yeah or maybe like if there's a guy on second uh line drive you get it out would they would they even if it didn't hit the dirt, would they make you change the ball?

I mean,

they're changing balls.

Okay, fuck.

Yeah, that's just try.

Just try.

As long as you try, I'll be happy.

It can fail, but I just, I would like to see it.

Like, middle of August.

Likely going to fail, but that's fine.

That's the effort that.

But if it doesn't,

I feel like the other team would be pretty pissed, and that would be awesome.

Pretty pissed.

It's like the no-punt punt.

Yeah.

A pickoff and then a fake throwback.

Yeah.

That's how you have to do it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I've seen that happen before.

Somebody's done that before for sure.

What about this might be the version of the fake punt that we can incorporate into baseball.

What about a hidden ball trick, but the outfielder has the ball and just starts sprinting in?

Well, he'd have to catch it first.

Well, yeah, you'd have to catch it first.

So we'll take it one step at a time.

I have to catch it first.

But then everybody in the infield looks around.

They're like, where's the ball?

Where's the ball?

And the guy takes off to run to second, and then boom, you got him from the outfield because you had a hidden ball at the outfield.

It would really backfire if you didn't throw it it in there.

There's a lot of ways that that could backfire, but imagine how sick it would be.

Just kind of sprinting in.

Have you ever thrown a guy out at first base?

No.

Like on a hit?

Uh-uh.

That's got to be a cool feeling.

That used to happen a little bit when pitchers were still hitting.

Yeah.

The right fielder was so close that they'd hit like a one-hop line drive and get gunned down.

That's the worst.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I can't have that.

Somebody got thrown out from left field last week.

Really?

Yeah, that's hard to happen.

That's hard to do.

They thought it was like Codd or something, like Chom Casey?

I think so, yeah.

Let's Let's see.

That's bad.

Did you see the little league home run with the Giants Royals game?

That was tough.

Yeah,

it's the field.

It's the field.

Things just happen.

That's facts.

It's not your fault.

No.

It's not your fault.

Yeah, getting thrown out from left field.

You should just quit baseball at that point.

You can't go back into the

slower.

That's so brutal.

Yeah.

Did you find it?

It was against the Nationals, but you just rounded for the guy rounded first base.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Okay.

Picked him.

I got one last question for you, Christian.

Always great having you on.

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So let's just be honest here.

Are you considering the home run derby this year?

I don't know about this year.

We'd have to think about it.

Okay, so we can we get comfortable?

No, because we have to see how the rest of the year shapes up, you know?

And also, you told me, PFTE told me off air that after the Jeff Passon interview,

his teammates found out about it.

So what was the reaction when they saw it?

I don't think a lot of them knew about it.

Yeah, I don't really tell anyone.

I don't tell them.

You don't say that?

It's like your icebreaker.

You're podcasting.

Guess what?

A guy gets called up and you're like, hey, I'm Christian.

And if I ever win the home run derby, these two podcasters have to eat each other's face.

Usually

not the first conversation.

But yeah, they all kind of found out about it.

Everybody thought it was hilarious.

I get yelled at to do the derby every night that we play, which is also pretty funny.

And then every time I do hit a homer, I do know that you guys get tagged all the time, as you should.

It should happen all the time.

What about a magic number for it?

How many home runs do you have this year?

Six.

Five?

Five.

Five, yeah.

Five home runs this year.

What would be the number where you're like, okay.

You can enter with any, though, because you could technically have seven

be in the derby if they let you.

But for you to feel good enough about participating this year.

Oh, I would do it with whatever.

I would do it with zero homers on the season.

That would be mean if you did that.

This is bad.

He's going to to do it.

You're not going to do it.

Because it's all your seating.

You just go up against whoever had the most, you know?

Yeah.

I actually think you're a sicko and I think that you like not doing it.

Screw up but teasing it just so that we have to think about it all the time.

Just fucking do it.

You could do it like four times.

Yeah.

It doesn't have to just, it's not a one and done thing.

It's just no, no, no.

It only counts for the first time you enter.

No, yeah.

That wasn't what you said.

You said if you ever win one.

I mean, that could be in like 20 years.

It could be like

an old-timer's home run derby.

It will probably end the podcast.

So, just so you know, the blood would be on your hands.

No.

It would be over.

It would be pretty funny.

I mean, we're going to probably...

Each round that goes by would be more and more electric.

And we're like, the options we've chosen are like either actually eating each other's asses or like cannibalism.

So it's neither's a good option.

Taking a slice of his ass.

Eating a liquid.

Like it's sashimi.

Yeah.

Neither is hard.

It's hard, though.

The derby is hard.

Like, it's exhausting.

Yeah.

It's really hard.

You don't want that.

You'd be exhausted.

You're ruining your pHing, man.

You know, you got a lot of extra energy now.

Did you pay attention to your launch angle?

No.

Like, how is your home?

So do you have a home run swing right now?

BP in the game is different, though.

Like, BP, you can get on a little bit of a run.

Like, there's some days, like, when you're taking BP that you get on a little bit of a run, and it's just like that day, you're just hitting everything.

Like, that's the kind of day we would need.

So you don't really know how it is until you get out there, you know?

So

if you got, like, locked in and got on a roll, then you're in trouble would you be willing to have pft and i be like your friends and family on the field with you i feel like you guys would have to go i would have to you guys would have to go or you'd have to watch it with everybody else i think that's what you're gonna do last time right yeah we were gonna live stream it but i i i feel like we'd have to be on the field and we'd have to be close for sure it would be so funny you guys could like hold the trophy and stuff we'll hold hands the whole time down on the field holding up the the portable camcorders like they used to do back in the day oh man it would be i mean it would be hilarious.

They get showers right back there.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Make it happen.

We have different definitions of hilarious.

I think you entering and not winning would be hilarious.

I just don't even know if it would be allowed.

Yeah.

They're not allowed to do that.

Which would be also hilarious if Rob Manford

came across his desk and he was just

the most viewed derby.

It would have to be.

There's no way it wouldn't be.

Adam Silver would watch that be like, how can we steal this idea for the NBA?

You can't steal this idea.

Yeah, you can stay.

We're the only people dumb enough to make this bet.

Yeah, I mean, listen, it was a good bet because it's given us, what, like, eight years?

Yeah.

It was so accidental, too.

So accidentally,

it was so innocent at the time.

When was the last time you watched the video that this was based off of?

He was watching it earlier today.

But you guys showed me a screenshot, but I hadn't seen it since then, like, since it first started, which I don't even remember what year that was anymore.

Oh, so here's it.

Well, we got to introduce your teammates to that since they didn't know about the ass eating and the reason why.

Yeah.

It got there.

Christian was in a film.

Yeah.

Allegedly.

He tried to present me, but it was my

twin.

Earlier,

he was like, what year was that video anyway?

And we're like, dude, why are you asking us?

Yeah, you should know.

Yeah.

I want to say it was like 20.

He wants to say.

He wants to say.

Yeah.

Which is like, we're going on a solid 10 years now, but we didn't know each other that good then.

Yeah.

Now we know each other.

I feel like I've got to be like one of your guys' most frequent guests.

Yeah.

Yeah.

By far, I'm definitely number one.

Dan Harry.

I'm like, I'm like, 25 or something, right?

Yeah.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

It's always a good time.

I feel like it has to happen because

the best part about it would be like, I would for sure be thinking about this during the final.

Oh, yeah.

See, that's why I don't think you could ever win because if you're in the finals in the derby,

you would not be able to lock in.

I would be focused during it while I was hitting, but like in between.

Like if you were going into the finals, like you were waiting for the finals to start in the derby, like how could you not think about it?

Like after every home run you would hit, you would just start laughing your ass off in the box.

I for sure.

I would maybe

like if you were the guy that went second in the finals and you were like a couple away from winning with like a minute and a half left, I would have to call time because I would be laughing so hard.

You should let one of us pitch.

You can just roll them all up there.

But

just that image of being able to call time with like a minute left and just looking at the need like two more homers and watching you guys just be devastated over there on the field.

It would be with your camcorder, of course.

I might tackle you.

I might run out there and take out your ACL, yeah.

I might have

a wrestling entrance, have all three of my kids just bring them out as human shield right before the end, being like, Christian, you sure?

Potentially would be maybe like one of my favorite career moments.

You want the MVP?

Yeah.

But I want an MVP, but I think

this would be pretty even with that.

Oh, man.

It'd be pretty even with that.

Because 2019 was about to be pretty.

That was your best shot, actually, because I might have lost because Vladdy hit like 30 that year.

Yeah.

And that's who I was supposed to go up against.

And he hit like 30 in the first round.

We were happy you didn't enter that year.

But I might have lost.

I probably would have got bounced in the first round because 30 is a lot.

But you hit 44 home runs that year.

Yeah, but like game homers and like BP homers, that's a

totally different game.

I still don't think you have a swing for it.

I feel strong.

That's these guys.

Nah, he doesn't have a swing for it.

Does he have a swing for it?

Yes or no?

Home run derby.

Yeah, shit.

They're giving us a look.

How good does it feel to hit a home run?

Dude, is it that same feeling where you don't even feel never attack?

Well, some feel better than others, but yeah, when you like really get one, it still feels cooler.

Yeah, because I mean, tell me if I'm way wrong, but like when you really barrel one up, it's almost like you don't even swing because it just like goes well.

You don't feel anything, right?

You don't feel the ball off the bat.

That's gotta be a good thing.

That's a good feeling.

It's loud, sounds loud, and yeah, yeah.

It's pretty sweet.

It never gets old.

You ever used a cork bat for batting practice?

No.

And then for the derby, we should start that rumor so you get suspended.

Well, you did it in batting practice.

Somebody accidentally put it.

Maybe we use a torpedo bat in the derby.

That's funny about that.

You guys don't do it.

Don't do it.

No, that's nothing involving the derby.

Nothing involving the derby.

Don't do anything with the derby.

Nothing involving the derby.

And the balls are like super juice.

Watch it on TV like the rest of us.

You have to put in a good word, too.

You're just saying that you need, you know, it'd be nice to have a little summer.

You get a couple days off for the all-star break.

That'd be a fun way to spend your couple days.

All right.

Well, Christian, thanks so much, man.

We appreciate you stopping by.

And yeah, just listen, you want MVP.

Just remember it.

You're the MVP for life.

You don't want it to be like Christian Yelich, he made two guys eat each other's ass.

Let's just keep it Christian Yelich MVP.

But also won the home run derby.

Yeah.

That's a sweet trophy.

Yeah, that is a sweet trophy.

You get a truck?

Do you get a truck?

You might get a truck.

I think if you, that's all-star game MVP.

Oh, yeah.

Did you get anything for being MVP?

No, they give you like a plaque.

No car?

It's like a circle, no.

It's like a circle with your name on it.

Oh,

do you, did you get your gold card yet or no?

Yeah.

You do.

Yeah.

So you can go.

That's the coolest thing ever.

That every eight years.

Eight years of service time.

Yeah.

If you play eight years in Major League Baseball, you get a card that you can go into any game ever.

I think they give you like the two best available tickets if you like walk up to the box office.

That's so cool.

So you can sit pretty much anywhere you want.

Yeah.

And it's just regular season games, though.

So like no playoff games or anything like that.

Or I don't even know if opening day or playoffs.

But then the rest of the games, yeah, apparently, I've never obviously tried it yet.

Well, let me have it.

Do you try it?

Is it a physical card?

Yeah, it's like a, it's just a gold card with your name it says like mlb lifetime pass on it your name that's pretty cool that's a cool thing to have yeah it's a gold yeah basically like a gold credit card looking thing that's pretty sick um all right christian thanks so much man you got it guys

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And now here's John Summit.

Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very special guest.

He is the hottest name in DJing right now, hottest name in dance music.

It is John Summit, who I'll say right now, I think the office is more a buzz for you to be here than like we've had, you know, NFL MVPs, we've had, you know, big-time guests, and everyone's like, when's John Summit coming in?

So congrats to that.

We're a little older, but everyone in this office is like, John Summit's coming.

John Summit's coming.

So I love that.

I mean, you guys can come to the show.

Yeah, no, listen.

Listen, you have like a matinee that you do?

Yeah.

You're home by seven?

Yeah, how many, how?

So I want to get into your whole career because it's very fascinating, but how long

you do at least three hours every time that you do a set?

Pretty much two hours now, but it'll go from two to twelve hours, depends on how I'm feeling.

And can you sit while you're listening?

No.

Okay, all right.

So then I'm out.

I'm out.

I'm hit you guys chairs, you know.

You can sit in the VIP.

Yeah, so you are like the hottest name right now in djing for for people who don't know he has had a crazy rise so you and and the craziest part is that you were an accountant before this right yeah i was working at ernston young here in chicago actually so how long were you an accountant for uh a year and a half until they uh until we mutually parted ways okay so yeah you got fired so that means like you were working on your side gig and okay we know that you don't care about actuarial tables so yeah i mean i'd show up late to work every single day with like bloodshot eyes because i'd be djinging at night and yeah yeah i I was a terrible employee.

You were the coolest accountant ever?

I think that's the accountant.

The accountant, yeah, Ben Affleck.

Wait, so you, so wait, so go back.

So you, University of Illinois,

you started DJing there.

You graduate, you're like, I'm going to be an accountant, even though I love DJing.

Yeah, because I wasn't making any money DJing.

And so it was kind of just doing it as a hobby and a passion.

And so, yeah, accounting during the day, DJing at night.

And then I was always releasing music on SoundCloud and everything like that, too.

And then it started going more and more viral.

And then I started touring, doing, I was only making like two, $300 a night.

And then it wasn't really until COVID and like the whole world locked down in 2020 where like all the TikToks and stuff started going like insanely viral.

So your music on TikTok.

Yeah, so as a DJ, you actually got bigger during COVID.

Oh, yeah.

When everybody else was like, well, I can't DJ because there's no crowds anywhere.

Exactly.

But I was like literally broke living at home.

And then I think everyone else, especially like entertainers, like took it easy and like rested with their family and friends and stuff where I was like putting out new songs every single day.

Yeah, and just like going 100% were you working in accounting still then?

No, I got fired the year before.

Okay, the year before.

All right, so so that's fascinating.

So do you remember the TikTok that you were like the first one where it was like, oh shit, people are using this and it's getting a lot of views?

The song was called Deep End, if you've ever heard that one.

And that was like the sound went viral, but it was more so like just getting the fans and community and like growing from like 1,000 followers to 10,000 to 100,000.

So it wasn't like one specific song.

Right.

So if you're producing songs for TikTok,

are you micromanaging your songs?

Knowing that like, hey, this seven-second clip right here.

Well, so I wasn't producing for TikTok, so I'd like actually release on Spotify and all of that stuff too.

But I would like heavily market it on there and then do funny shit.

And like I would like go on Instagram live every day chugging white claws to my music and people thought that was funny for some reason.

Yeah.

It was like back when like I was DJing on Twitch every single day, you know, like when everyone was just sitting at home getting fucked up.

Yeah.

So as an accountant, were you hiding your your hobby from the people at work or did you tell them like everybody there knew that you were dj at night uh i definitely hid the hobby there's only like a couple people that knew um but then once eventually like i played coachella in 2022 and like my senior manager came to the show no shit yeah so that's pretty cool yeah like some of your co-workers like do they text you being like you i hate you now

pretty much yeah like watching your vlogs you're jet setting around the world and well they're they try to convince me like like like you know to stick with the accounting and stuff because they try, they don't, like, just fire you right away, especially in like big four accounting.

They try to coach you through it, but I was just like genuinely terrible.

Yeah.

Wait, so you, that means, I mean, you passed your CPA, right?

That's that's a hard test.

Yeah, it wasn't fun.

Yeah, so did you pass your first time?

Uh, pretty much all on my first time.

I had to do like the tax one, like, three times.

Okay, it was a little rough.

Now, were you hiding your accounting life from the people that you were hanging out with at shows?

Yeah, oh, yeah, no way I talked about that.

You were two different people.

That's our account.

Superman.

It was like a full Batman lifestyle for me.

Do you ever miss anything about being an accountant?

Like anything at all?

The stability, I guess.

I mean, come on, dude.

I got to think of something.

Yeah, sure.

Oh, the camaraderie, the locker room with the boys, lunch breaks, the 20-minute lunch breaks you get.

Yeah, no, no, I really don't miss anything from that.

Yeah, I would imagine not.

So what was the,

like, so, so the tick or COVID happens, TikToks start start blowing up.

Was there another moment where it was like it went from, oh shit, this is a fun little gig side project, something that I'm very passionate about to, oh my God, this is now going to change my life and I'm going to do this and be really good at it for a long time?

Um, I don't know, I was pretty delusional and I like convinced myself I was always going to make it, especially when I left the accounting world in 2019.

And like to me, when I was like DJing like 200 person clubs, I was like, oh my god, I'm huge.

I'm a big famous DJ, blah, blah, blah.

And like, but then it just kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger.

And then, yeah, it wasn't till like after COVID when all the festivals opened up and I did like Lollapalooza for the first time in 2022 and I did the Perry stage there.

And that was like actually insane.

And I was like, oh, shit, I think I can really make it with this.

Yeah, and it's cool.

So what is your songwriting process like?

So I usually like for, I just did an album last,

it came out last July, and then I write that in London.

So I usually go there, write out like the chords and stuff with vocalists and kind of just work from there.

And then I do all my production in Miami right now.

But I literally, I was just telling you before this, I produced in Chicago just like a couple boxes from here for like eight, ten years.

That's awesome.

So you would like sit down with a piano or a guitar and a vocalist, and you just like write the song that way.

Yeah, it's just like super basic chords, though, because then you can just write lyrics and like melodies off that.

And then you just get in the lab and start adding textures to it, all that stuff.

Exactly.

How do you know when to stop adding stuff to the songs?

That's a very good question.

And that's what most people struggle with.

And

I'm very good at finishing tracks.

Like in 2020, I literally did like a hundred tracks that year and then it's just you kind of just have to hit a certain point when you know it's good and you send it I have a good like group of people that I send out to and they tell me that it's good and just kind of move on because if you're listening to something that you're writing you you probably keep hearing things that you could add a thousand percent and you keep getting different ideas like what if I put this high saw over top of it and then you have to have somebody that tells you hey man it's good as it is.

No, literally.

I mean, when I did like Shiver, I got to like version, which is like one of my big records.

I got to version 27 and I kept sending it to people.

And they're like, like, dude, we literally can't tell the difference.

Like, what are you doing?

Right.

And I'm just like, you know, running in circles, basically.

Whenever you've put together a song, have you ever accidentally dropped the beat at the wrong point?

You had to like move it.

You're like, shit.

Well, I mean, I fuck up all the time.

Yeah.

But I'm good at covering my fuck.

What are you talking about when I'm DJing?

No, no, when you're actually writing a song.

Do you have you ever moved

where you dropped the beat?

Because you're like, that didn't work.

No, of course.

And then you just try different things.

And that's like how you stay interesting in dance music is when you bring in the drops and stuff when people don't expect it.

So we call that happy little accidents.

Oh, when you like deal a little fuck up, and you're like, wait, this actually kind of works.

Yeah, wait, all right.

So when you're actually DJing, this is going to sound really dumb.

I apologize.

But

are you doing anything when you're at a show, or are you just pressing the button?

Yes, I'm doing things.

How much stuff are you doing?

Well, it depends, right?

So it's like you can be doing three to four tracks at once.

Okay.

And you have extra layering and stuff like that, too.

But it depends like what kind of set I'm doing.

If I'm doing a like a club set, I don't come in there with any single game plan whatsoever.

So I guess it would be kind of I'm trying to dumb it down as much as possible right now.

Like if I was just if you were to show up to a like a Vegas nightclub and I hand you the aux and be like, yo, play for the next three hours.

Right.

But then you have to actually smoothly blend everything together, make sure it's all in key, make sure the phrasing and everything's right.

Right.

And you can get creative with it because I had extra a cappellas on top.

I cut out the bass and stuff.

Right.

You know.

So, so that, so in that, and then what about if you have like a like festival set?

Is that more set up?

Depends, yeah, because I'm very involved with the lighting and visuals and all of that, so it's like a whole production process.

So a lot of the work is done beforehand.

And because I don't know if you've seen like any of these shows at all, but everything's like time-coded and synced, and then that's what we plan with the team and doing rehearsals and all that.

So, festival, you're able to have a little more fun where you're just pressing a button,

more or less, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, I don't mean that.

I mean, you created the music, so

if I created the music, I would be like, Yeah, watch me press the button.

I fucking made this.

No, I got the best button in the world.

You don't have a button like mine.

But it's good to clear it up because obviously I'm so stupid.

I think the

I've watched some of your sets and you're obviously dancing, getting in the crowd, and that clearly is like part of what you have to do as a DVD.

Of course, because you have to have like some of the performer aspect to it.

And that's why now I'm bringing in, like, when I just did Kia Forum in LA, I did three nights there.

I brought like a whole orchestra over there.

I saw that.

So that was cool.

And then now, like, that visuals are such a big deal because I just played the sphere last month.

Oh, have you guys been there yet?

I have been there.

I've been there.

I'm actually going back

to the dead.

It's fucking nuts.

Yeah, I'm so excited.

And so that, obviously, a lot of the work is spent making visuals for that.

Wait, did you do The Sphere just yourself?

I played before Anima.

Okay.

So he has that show.

It's insane.

It's the biggest, it's the most expensive show you can possibly do.

So I do plan on doing it in the future, but it's a big investment.

Yeah, as a performer at the sphere, do you ever get lost in the sphere?

I was just like staring at the wall the whole time.

Yeah.

I was tripping out a little bit.

Yeah.

It's pretty intense.

What about, so Big Cat was saying, like, you put the beat drop in the wrong place.

What about when you take the beat away?

And you let the

antenna beat it.

What's the longest you've ever edged an audience?

Well, I was probably cooked while DJing.

This is when I play in Miami, and I do like the very long sets, and I'll edge them for a good five to seven minutes.

Oh, that's awesome.

Yeah, yeah.

Especially, I mean, if it's like, if I got to go to the bathroom, too, I'll put on a loop and then go in one.

I say, okay, four minutes.

And they have no idea what's going on.

Yeah, yeah.

What about, are you, are you partying when you're DJing?

I saw that you did the Colorado or the Veil shows sober.

Are you normally?

No, not the Veil shows sober.

The shows after that.

I was pretty much not sober.

It depends.

Please strike that from the record.

He was fucked up for the Vale shows.

I mean, there was like a stretch of years where I was like drinking and partying like five nights a week, and it was just getting too much, and I was getting too wrapped up in it.

And then that obviously affected my performance a little bit.

So now it's like I pick and choose my battles.

Yeah.

Like Vegas, I do 20 times a year that's so easy to me so now i'm taking shots during that and yeah but these big shows especially when you do things like coachella pooz and stuff yeah you have to be yeah pretty

yeah how when you're when you're djing like a club how hot of a girl does the girl have to be for you to put on her song we talk nine and a half out of ten yeah wait wait so when they have like a song request no yeah they're just like hey john i want you to play this song you're like uh they're gonna be really hot they have to have great vibes and great energy great vibes Great mind.

Great vibes.

Your vibes are a little bit off.

Maybe hit the gym.

Your vibes are a little bit better.

What if a guy like me came up to you and I got like $20 in my hand, folded up?

I'm like, do you play Freebird?

I'm going to have to say no to that.

Say no to Freebird.

What if my vibes are great?

No, your vibes are great.

I might be able to mix it in somehow.

Yeah, what if I had 100K cash?

I was like, hey, dude, I need Freebird right now.

Oh, Freebird's coming to us.

Okay.

Can you talk to us again, like we're six years old, and explain to us what is the difference between EDM, house, techno?

So EDM is kind of an all-encompassing term that was created by Americans.

So Europeans and the rest of the world hate it.

And I was like a snob, because

I started making underground music and tech house and stuff you hear at the warehouse parties and stuff here.

And so I kind of avoided that term for the longest time, but it basically means all of dance music.

It means electronic dance.

Electronic dance music.

And then house is just four on the four, you know, kick, clap, hat.

And then techno, it's like just a kick.

I mean, you probably know techno when you're here.

Yeah, exactly, exactly.

Got it.

And then you know disco, and then, yeah.

But now all these genres are all mashed.

And during my sets, I play everything.

I play like dubstep to house to

everything.

And how much, like, are you allowed to just sample off other people?

I never understood that.

Like, DJ.

You can do whatever you want.

Really?

Yeah, so I sample everything and anything.

And do they ever come after you or say, like, hey, what are you doing?

Like the actual

because I think people like like their songs getting spread.

Like, when I go to like EDC, for example, I hear my song everywhere, but in a different flip and a different style.

Yeah.

And then, like, I just did a Britney Spears remix, like, made it in my hotel room two hours before my set last week in Sydney, and now we're already figuring out how to get that officially cleared.

I love that.

That's awesome.

Give her simple podcasts.

Oh, you could.

If you guys have a good little tagline or something, you know?

Yeah, just Big Cat saying, the bear's back.

Yeah, and PFT saying, shut the fuck up.

Shut the fuck up, Hank, would go, that would go dumb.

Maybe just Hank's yawn would be there, too.

too that's a good way to ruin a concert to have our podcast i think that would work when i play in chicago or something yeah yeah wouldn't this part be better if it was a podcast no yeah it would never be better um so we have so max our normal producer is a huge fan of yours he's sick his diarrhea he's got diarrhea he's puking uh but his best friend jackie tables he he is a huge john summit fan so he's i think he saw you all three nights in chicago then he went on vacation to see you no in veil in veil you went to

Fuck yeah.

So he just he goes everywhere that you go.

Jack, do you have some questions for John?

Yeah, sure.

They told me about 10 minutes before I was doing this, so I apologize if these suck.

One, do you miss performing at Spy Bar?

And if you do perform there again, can meet Big Cat and PFTCom?

I do kind of miss performing there.

Have you guys ever been there before?

Yeah, of course.

Okay, yeah, I have a spot.

I have that spot.

And then that's where I played a lot in like 2017, basically to COVID.

But yeah, if I did there, I'd have to be a little pop-up set.

Because last time time I was here in Chicago, I did a pop-up at Portilla.

Yeah, Jack was there.

Oh, I was out that one, too.

I was fucking with.

But yeah, I think SpyVar has to, it would have to be so low-key.

I don't know.

Like, low-key, low-key?

Yeah.

Or kind of just show up.

I kind of like just showing up and starting play places and people being like, oh, fuck.

I think that's kind of high-key low-key.

Yeah, that's true.

It might be the low-key.

But I'm going to announce the date or anything, and I would start doing it because otherwise, you have a good line around the box.

We didn't get the invite.

No, yes, you got the invite.

The other one was also fucking out.

definitely not part of it.

That invite from Jack was just like, can I come to the show?

Yeah, he's using the show.

I'll make Big Cat and PF.

Can you feel him?

I have three kids.

I'm not going to the show.

But Jack is going to go to the show.

Where would you want to see me play if I was to play in Chicago with a father of three?

My backyard, just for me.

And my kids, could you do like a kid's bop set?

That would rock.

My kids will have their birthdays coming up.

That would be,

might have to get John Summit for my kids' birthdays.

No, I would like to see you live.

It's just he, you know, I can't go to Tahoe to see you.

Which looked insane.

Of course, no, that was awesome.

The ski resorts.

All right, Jack, what's your other question?

What's the worst thing someone has done behind the DJ booth?

Oh, cookie.

I mean, you have all the usual things, like played levels.

Yeah.

Like, like, I don't know, like drugs, like puking.

I saw the girl

steal the tequila.

Oh, yeah, but that's the absolute worst thing you can do is steal my tequila vibe.

Oh, no.

Have you seen this video?

No.

Yeah, like three people said, like, oh, John's up to school.

You got to ask him about the time the girl stole the voice.

I'm going to look it up right now.

Yeah, please.

She just jacked your...

No, no,

I shoot her off, but she got pretty killed by the internet after that.

Yeah, I mean, that's a big no-no.

You can't reach on that.

Oh, I'm DJing.

That's ridiculous, right?

Yeah, that's crazy.

When you were, when you, when you, oh, here it is.

There it is.

Oh.

Oh, out of your hand.

I was like, no, I get the.

Oh, that's insane.

He's like going straight for the pole.

That's a a good bottle tip.

Yeah.

That's an insane move to try to grab it out of the ball.

Tampa, though, so that kind of behavior is kind of expected there.

Yeah, true.

Yeah, that's fair.

So

when you're up on stage and you're DJing and you're sober,

if you're taking a night off, are you like, holy shit, everyone's really bad at dancing?

Well, I'm just like, holy shit, everyone looks crazy.

Yeah.

Especially like in our scene where people just take everything and anything, you know, and I'm like, oh shit, is this what I normally look like?

Yeah.

I try not to think about it.

Yeah.

What are your

friends

from Illinois or childhood friends think?

Do they go to your shows?

Yeah, no, they go to all those shows.

It's awesome.

I'm meeting up with them after this.

Love it.

And what about your parents?

I'm sure they were super supportive of you leaving a big four for a DJ job.

Yeah, and then when I left the accounting world, my mom was crying her eyes out.

And I was like, what the fuck are you doing with your wife?

So I kind of had to figure it out for myself for a year.

But that's like motivation, right?

Yeah, and also you could flip it on them now.

Yeah.

You'd just be like, look at me down.

Yeah, now they go to every, now they they have too much fun.

Right.

I need to send them home sometimes.

Yeah, no, my mom did not want me to, like, she's like, you can't be a blogger.

Blogger, there's no, there's no future in that.

And I remind her every day, I'm like, you're getting, like, a three-star,

you know, you know, old folks home.

Yeah.

Yeah, like, at max.

How many years did it take for her to realize?

Oh, she still probably wishes I was like a lawyer or something, which I would have never been able to pull off.

But yeah, there's just, I mean, it's an unorthodox job.

So does she what kind of benefits does she get?

Do you ever get her like free tickets to a sports game?

Yeah, I mean, I pay for all her vacations now.

So that's pretty nice.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, there are perks, but also if you're talking to older people and you're trying to explain what you do for a living, I'm sure that can like that's that's a long conversation to have.

They're like, what do you do?

I'm a DJ.

Oh, like on the radio?

Yeah,

I just say like entertainer and then because I have like a Vegas residency and they're like, oh, so you're like Elvis.

I'm like, yeah.

Have you noticed, though, that your name now, like when you say it like DJ

and then you say John Summit, people are starting to recognize it more.

Maybe the older people as well, uh, like my own name, yeah, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, 100%.

Yeah, that's got to make it easier.

Oh, yeah, because, like, saying, like, I'm a blogger, and then you have to be like Marshall Sports,

but it's kind of a good thing, though, because you don't want to be like a full-on household name.

Like, it's kind of scary if I got to like the Justin Bieber Taylor Swift level, right?

You can't, like, leave your house or anything.

Do you get, like, do you get stopped if you walk down the street today, would you have a bunch of people noticing a decent amount, but it's normally just like, John Summit, what's up?

Oh, that's good, But not really kind of like interrupting my day or anything.

That's the good.

I mean, you guys get stopped for selfies all the time here.

Yeah.

I mean, it's fun.

It's a good problem to have.

Yeah, it's like people are very nice.

But I'm sure it's even worse in your own domain because, like, if I'm in a festival or a club, it's really bad.

So, for you guys at a sporting event, it's probably that, right?

Yeah, yeah.

I don't want to say bad, but you know, no, no, no, it's all good.

Like, I would much rather that be the problem than having nobody ask me for a picture.

And people are so much nicer in real life than they are online.

Oh, my God.

That's not even.

I've had some trouble just like with Twitter and stuff recently because people are fucking relentless there, man.

Oh, tell us.

We can help you out.

We'll be an army for you.

What's the problem?

Well, it's just all bullshit.

And it's just mostly because I think I've gotten really big.

And, you know, like when it's just the easy target kind of thing.

Yeah.

It's weird seeing the internet turn on you sometimes out of nowhere.

And you're like, what the fuck is this all about?

Online culture is basically built on building people up and the minute they get to the top.

You'd be like, fuck that guy.

We hate him.

But I always wonder, I'm like, should I take like the because like Portnoy, for example, he just fights right back and always has, and I think always will.

And I'm always like, should I take that stance?

But then when I do it, it ruins my whole day because then I'm on my phone for the next two hours and I'm reading it all and I'm like, fuck, I got to actually make music, not just review on the internet.

Sometimes

Dave's job is kind of to do that.

He has to go back and he's really good at

a different job that's kind of unrelated from clapping back at people online.

Yeah, that's true.

And his provides legitimate entertainment.

Correct.

Just get a burner.

Yeah, Yeah,

I really share it at this point.

So, what's like next for you?

Are you working on a new album?

Like, is there a festival you want to play?

Or have you kind of reached the level, the high level, the summit level of teaching?

Yeah, the summit of teaching?

I don't think I've reached the summit yet.

I mean, I always, there's more music.

I've only done one album so far, and all my favorite artists have done, you know, multiple.

And then I still got to do some big things like in Chicago.

Like, I can't announce anything yet, but the next shows will be very big here.

Oh, but then I'm starting to to do the goal is to do festivals with the Expertoni brand and the label I have too, and signing a bunch of new artists and kind of just growing the whole scene in general.

Oh, that's very cool.

What would you say is the best electronic song of all time, and why is it Sandstorm?

Sandstorm's up there, man.

Best electronic song of all time, though.

I mean, I'm just a huge Dead Mouse fan at heart, so I love strobe.

That was the first time I ever saw electronic music was like here at Lollapalooza when I was in high school, seeing Dead Mouse, and that blew my mind.

You were instantly like, yes, this is my life now.

Yep.

Because I liked bands and stuff, especially throughout high school, but it wasn't until I saw that show I was like, holy shit, this is what I can do.

And then you can just go home, just download the program on your computer.

I don't use anything but my laptop to make music.

Wait, yeah, so you were fully self-taught, right?

Yep.

So how did, did you play any instruments growing up?

Like elementary piano.

Oh, you can just learn it all and do it all on your laptop nowadays.

And so you just, you taught yourself what with like YouTube videos and stuff?

That's crazy.

Yeah, and all the programs are awesome nowadays.

And you can just draw in all the notes and everything.

Yeah.

But then I work with, now I work with like actual vocalists and stuff like that too.

So it's kind of like working with a band now when I make music.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Have you thought about doing,

you might do this already, but in electronic music at large, has there been a lot of crossover between live bands, like rock bands, and then adding in the electronic?

Well, so Zed Ecocello this past weekend just had John Mayer come out during his set.

That's cool.

And then he did like a live version of Clarity and stuff.

And I thought that was really sick.

Oh.

And that's kind of like the shit that we were listening to in college.

if you remember the Zed era and clarity and all that yeah so

yeah I think just evolving the music and kind of turning it into a full live experience especially with AI and stuff nowadays I think people crave like seeing live music right so

how does AI incorporate into this because I feel like that's that I I can tell AI still when I hear it yeah but I think five ten years from now I I don't know if anybody's gonna be able to tell the difference but well but it could never replicate the live experience though so maybe AI can make a Spotify song and maybe like all that's gonna be like robot-generated.

Like, who fucking knows?

It's kind of creepy that you can type in like house song, it'll just make a house song out of nowhere, but um, you can't beat a live show, and that's the one thing I think some DJs lack is that they just, you know, I think adding in all these extra elements will make it dope.

No vibes from AI, no, no, negative aura, no aura, yeah.

Are you gonna have John Mayer do a show with you?

No, I'm trying to think of someone else, it's gotta be creative and unique.

Who's a younger John Mayer?

Who here plays guitar?

I don't know.

I'm kind of like a younger John Mayer.

Yeah, if he plays guitar.

How old is John Mayer?

I think we're older than him.

Are we older than John Mayer?

Maybe not.

I think I am a younger John Mayer.

Yeah, John Mayer might be.

No, you could be a newer John Mayer.

He's 47.

Dude, he's older than he is.

He's wash.

Yeah, if you want to meet John Mayer, I know him.

I met him once.

That's pretty much it.

You guys are best friends?

Yeah, pretty much best friends.

I met him once for 40 years.

Was he playing with the dead when you went there?

Yeah, yeah, at the street.

That's sick.

Yeah, he's the best.

So this is another dumb question.

I feel like this, I just build this up in my head, but having a residency at Vegas has to be like the coolest thing ever.

Do you have like a penthouse at the place you're doing it?

It's kind of like a main suite, yeah, and it has like a pool of table, it's big, it has my own separate room.

So, you just get to party all weekend when you're doing it?

Pretty much, yeah.

It's in the same building as the club, so then when I'm done with the set, you know, you just take the party upstairs, pretty much, yeah.

That's fucking awesome.

That's exactly what I thought.

Yeah, it's a pretty good life.

So, now that like you're massive, you're big, you've got the residency going on, do you have to force yourself to adhere to that same schedule that got you to that place where you're like,

I have to put in work?

I got to write songs.

How do you manage having the best time ever?

Yeah.

With also being dedicated to making it.

Well, I'm also like an extreme workaholic, and I do credit the accounting and the CPA and all of that for instilling discipline.

I think most artists don't have any discipline at all.

And even with working out and stuff, too, I have a pretty good schedule like Monday through Friday.

But I mean, you guys know how it is that if you work your ass off during the week, then the weekend's so much more fun.

But the party never ends, then it's like,

I used to get swept up in the mass like that.

I imagine, yeah.

But I got Vegas this weekend, so I'm just like,

so we ask, we've had

people on from all walks of life.

Dungeons and Dragons.

We've had professional bowlers.

We had a Rubik's Cube mask.

Yeah, the best in the world.

Yeah, so and we asked all of them this question, like, how are the chicks?

Pretty good.

The chicks?

Are they as good as the Dungeons and Dragon chicks?

No, they can't be.

There's no way.

They're probably less freaky.

No, yeah.

No one's getting dressed up as well.

A lot less roleplay, that's for sure.

No sexy goblins at your show.

I'm curious.

What was their answer for that?

I'm still curious.

The Rubik's Cube guy is swimming in it.

Yeah, yeah.

Pete Weber.

He's a ladies' man.

I ran into the Rubik's Cube guy down at the Jersey Shore one time.

He was at a bar that I was at.

I was like, hey, man, good to see you again.

What brings you down here?

He's like, I mean, look around the room, man.

God damn, I got to pick up the Rubik's Cube.

He's good with his hands.

Also, I know that, like, DJs, like, they kind of, because the old Diplo tweet that doing girls is cool, but doing work lasts longer and more fulfilling.

That is true.

That's pretty cool.

Diplo said that?

Yeah, he said.

Yeah, doing girls is cool.

Yeah.

Fact.

Confirmed.

Yeah.

But doing work lasts longer and more fulfilling.

Took me 35 years to figure it out.

So I don't know if you figured it out yet, but...

I figured that out.

Like, doing girls, very cool.

It's still cool.

We're not doing work.

It's not cool.

Because we're not trying to say that doing girls isn't cool.

It's the work hard, playhard mentality, right?

Yeah.

Is Pete Weber?

Is that the bowler?

That's like whoever you think you are.

Yeah.

actually today's the anniversary of that oh okay yeah yeah and he's swimming in it he is oh yeah oh man well i think he might be married he might be married but he was he was then if he if he wasn't married dog yeah he would be a dog yeah jackie you got any more questions yeah you do you got another question come on you want to hey john you want to be my best friend i did well yeah i do but uh i heard a rumor you worked at mcdonald's in college is that true no i didn't work at mcdonald's okay no i just worked at the bar and then i got fired from the bar and then i still wanted to work at the bar i was at it's called bright Lion and

I've been there.

And they're like, well, we need a DJ.

So that was like the start of my DJ career.

How much did they pay you?

I got like $100 a night.

Oh, that's not bad.

Not bad at all.

College?

That's like 100 drinks.

All right, so you got to fix the McDonald's thing.

I also saw online said you were 5'6.

Yeah, what's up?

That's crazy.

That's what I'm saying.

He's these Twitter haters.

How tall are you?

I'm 6'1.

Okay.

6'2.

Okay.

All right.

So confirmed.

Because I saw that and I was like, oh, shit, John Summers.

You thought I was going to come here?

I thought you were going to come come in here and put you in my back pocket and be like, hey, kids, I brought this DJ home.

It doesn't work, though, that every time you get fired from a job, you get better at DJing.

Yes.

Yeah.

Do you do your own taxes?

Not anymore.

Okay.

So you did at one point.

Wasn't there like a Jay-Z line that's like, my accountant's got an accountant?

That's the goal now.

I feel like you might, at some point, just want to crack your knuckles and be like, I'm going back to the old man.

Yeah.

Well, I got to do that for like my business and stuff, too.

And I do like, you know, to audit my business.

You should go back to your old office.

Yeah, should I?

that would be a very funny video vlog just showing up kind of suppress that from my memory how long were you how actually how long were you actually an accountant uh like a year and a half okay yeah so yeah that's good enough to be able to suppress it if it was like five years it'd be tough yeah I feel like at those companies they go through so much turnover too it wouldn't even be any of the same people yeah I love the idea of you coming in like in in fight club like Edward Norton he comes in he's got like a banged up face every day because he's getting beat up at night you come in and just got red eyes because you've been that's literally what it was though yeah because I would I would do full-on benders though to like because my set times would be like four to seven a.m.

at these warehouses that's crazy so i imagine that being a dj the your your sleep schedule is all off oh it's completely fucked you ever go to bed before 11?

i did last night oh there you go had a nice wholesome night i went to duck duck goat here in westloo great

awesome restaurant yeah very cool so wait so when you go to sleep that early is it is your body like what the hell's going on dude Pretty much, because then I woke up at 3, like, completely disoriented.

Like, what the fuck is going on?

And I just got back from Australia too, so I'm all fucked up.

Yeah, like, somebody out there is partying here.

It's not me.

Wait, so when do you sleep?

Like, if you do it, like, do you sleep just during the day?

Uh,

sometimes, yeah, but then I wait to the flights.

Like, Australia, that was like a 22-hour flight.

Yeah, okay, that makes sense.

Yeah, so that was that was nice.

Yeah, are there any uh any other DJs that you like really respect what they're doing right now?

Up and coming guys, we should be aware of up and coming guys, uh, Dante the Dawn.

The guys I work with on the label right now, Max Styler and Leighton Girodani, are absolutely fucking smashing it.

And then I'm trying to think of guys you would know it all.

I mean, if you just found out who I am, you probably don't know too much of the song.

Yeah,

I wouldn't.

You know what it is, though?

So when they, this was probably six months ago where everyone was like, John Summit, John Summit, John Summit.

And I listened to one of your songs, like, I know this song.

So it's like one of those things.

You hear the song before you get it.

Well, and it's tough, too, because it's like, because I'm like the producer on the records.

I'm not the one singing.

So it's not like super obvious.

You know, it's like Bieber or wherever the fuck, Billie Eilish.

Yeah.

I mean, who were the DJs when you were back in college days?

Jazzy Jeff.

Okay.

No, no, no, no.

Avici.

Yeah, Avici.

Yeah.

Okay.

Calvin Harris.

Yep.

Yep.

I liked Calvin Harris a lot.

I'm really dating myself.

Yeah.

That era was nuts, though, because they were like full-on pop stars, I feel like, yeah, but just the world has a little changed a little bit.

Yeah.

It does.

It is weird that

Calvin was collabing with like Rihanna and all of that.

Yeah.

I haven't done any like big pop star collabs.

Who would you want to work with?

You can give Rihanna a shout out right now, take her out of retirement.

I don't know who I'd want to work with.

I don't know.

I really like what Charlie XTX is doing right now.

I think that's fucking dope.

I don't see any of the clips from her shows at all.

Yeah.

Also, White Panda, I should have said them.

I wish they would have to go.

Yeah, they're making things.

Yeah.

I don't know if they keep doing it.

Girl Talk, you remember them?

Yep, yep.

They were great.

White Panda, the yearly end-of-the-year mashup was so awesome.

I'd be like, I'm like, basement with all my friends, drinking like water bottle vodka.

Yeah.

Put that shit on.

Just put it on for an hour drive.

Get you there fast.

All right.

I got one last question.

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All right.

So I asked you, this has been so much fun, John.

We appreciate you coming by.

And I do want to go to a show.

We got to figure that out.

Jack will probably be.

How many times have you actually seen John?

Probably like seven or eight.

Okay, nice.

Jack's on guest list.

Yeah.

Yo.

That's damn.

I love that.

I'll tell you off camera word it's at.

Okay.

Excellent Full security for Jack.

Love that.

Full cavity search when Jack comes in.

What's the longest set you've ever done?

That's been 12 hours of holy shit.

And you were standing up the whole time?

The entire time, yeah.

How did you do that?

Did you have taking shit during it?

No.

I can't go 12 hours of that.

I mean, a decent amount of Adderall.

You know, that keeps going.

Yeah.

That's crazy.

Yeah, that was awful.

How tired were you after?

Oh, so fucking spent.

You had to.

I had to be carried home after that.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's brutal.

But then, like, the whole crowd was still there the whole time.

And then then when I get off, they start booing.

They're like, no, stay on.

Like, you guys are fucking crazy.

And it's like, and then it's like 2 p.m.

on a Tuesday, too.

You're about the most surreal place that you've ever DJ.

Surreal.

Hmm.

I think Bali, I did this one set.

It's on YouTube.

It's fucking epic.

Have you ever been out there before?

No, no.

But I've added to your list.

I've seen it, yeah.

Have you done Ibiza?

Obviously.

I'm doing like four headline dates there, so I'm starting like a residency thing.

Yeah.

You basically just get full-time jobs in the best cities in the world.

Yeah, it's pretty cool.

Ibiza's kind of like the European Vegas in a sense, except with the gambling.

I don't know if you guys have been gambling, but in the party side?

No, not really, but it just has all the.

Yeah, you just travel to the coolest places.

Yeah, yeah.

That's pretty damn sad.

That's not the worst job now.

I think about it.

Have you thought about just like going to a going to a random brunch place and showing up to setting up a table?

Yeah, just giving like a bachelorette party the time of their lives.

Maybe I should.

That would be fun.

They had this one brunch spot when I was in Chicago.

I don't know if it's still a thing.

I think that the whole scene's different before COVID and after COVID.

But it really is.

It's, I mean, congrats on all the success.

I really don't think there's ever a bigger gap between accountant and like world famous DJ.

It's an awesome story.

I feel like I'm living in a simulation right now.

Yeah.

Pinch myself every now and then.

It's a really cool story.

So congrats for everything.

And yeah, I would love to come out to a set, and we appreciate you stopping by, man.

Thank you.

Thank you for having me.

John Summit was brought to you by Part of My Cheesesteak.

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Okay, let's wrap up the show.

We got roasts.

Are we roasting?

We're getting roasted today.

Roasted.

Five stars.

Please, everyone, if you listen and love this show, we appreciate if you could subscribe everywhere.

YouTube,

Apple Podcasts, Spotify.

OnlyFans.

I play.

If people saw the PM TV last week, we got our plaque

for 250 million downloads on Spotify, which we're hungry for more.

I think we were the

Joe Rogan was the only one who had 500 million.

Yep.

And then it was us in like some true crime at 250.

Yep.

So we would love to get up there.

Yeah.

So we're that that was PFT and I both said the same thing.

We're like, when's our 500 coming?

I think we got to get bigger in China.

We got to get bigger in China, India.

Sechin Tendelkar, greatest cricket player of all time.

We're a huge cricket guy.

That was speaking cricket.

Yeah.

Okay.

Hank, Rose.

In a sick parody of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Donut Dan, who sucks down coffee and crawlers like crack cocaine, and his uniquely closed musical midget friend, Oompa Loompa, umpa that's a hard M.

Oompa Loompi F T.

Uh huh.

Hard M.

Damn.

Entertain a gaggle of man children in their grown-up playground fun factory.

Featuring a big, burly, beefy boy who recently made his own chocolate river.

Hopefully, no diet revealing Pennsylvania Ad with Sal Pal Maxie.

Bing bong.

A sports spoiled heir to the Taco Bell throne who can't eject eject himself from the factory quite high enough to dunk, but always enough to get in a quick nine.

And a man boy so focused on drowning his Jets fandom with screen time that it's literally his name.

But no amount of memes can get you that lottery ball.

Oh,

Hank,

how are you golfing?

Golfing well.

Trending upward, yeah.

What are we shooting these days?

How many holes do you play this weekend?

36, 54.

54.

Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

Friday was tough conditions.

It was raining for the first five holes, windy.

I shot a 97, which I was happy with.

It was probably a good 97.

89, Saturday, which ties my best PR at the bev.

And then Sunday was good conditions.

I birdied one, and in typical fashion, it all kind of fell apart.

I played well.

Five par threes, 10 over.

I had four sixes out of five par threes.

So what did you shoot?

96.

Real quick, though, Hank, when you had to do math real quick to figure out how many holes you played, you know, that's how many holes Liv plays every weekend, your favorite league.

Yeah, that you watch religiously.

I watched Live this week, and Liv was the so how did you not fit?

Yeah, I played three rounds of golf.

Oh, yeah, that's just like the pros, yeah.

It was a great, great Live leaderboard this week, but yeah, games trending upward.

I just love golf.

Yeah, you just love it.

What are you gonna do?

You love it, yeah, it loves you back.

You love your kids, right?

Yeah, I listen, you gotta have love.

I feel like I have 18 kids, and I want to see them as much as possible.

Perfectly.

Welcome to Part of My Take.

The show where the intelligent host makes himself sound dumber to be funny, while the dumber host uses words like quintessential all the time to make himself sound more intelligent.

Produced by two guys who look like they would work in a food truck if they didn't land this job.

You can always expect they get the pot out on time.

One barely ever speaks, so you don't have to worry about him so much.

The fat one speaks enough for both of them.

Five-star show.

Which one of us uses Quint Essential?

I do, I guess.

I think that would be me.

Max is a food truck guy, though.

That is spot on.

I would love to own a food truck.

You should.

If you put on some pajama bottoms, like maybe Simpsons or South Park, you would be a perfect line cook.

Yeah, that's fine.

Yeah, it's not a diss.

I can see you.

Yeah, like pulling your hair back real tight, wearing the flowy pants, maybe some sort of giant head wrap that you have on.

I'm actually just describing the Taliban right now.

Mm-hmm.

You look good in the Taliban.

No.

Should we show the

video?

Is it on YouTube?

Yeah.

I don't know if we can.

Why not?

It's just a Photoshop.

Or was it real?

There's a video.

Max had a bomb strapped to his chest at the way.

Wait, can I see the video?

It's very funny.

I mean, we're not.

Can you play the video?

Just blur it out, but let us react to it.

They're like all my text messages.

All right, so it's just.

You don't even, you don't have them.

Okay.

Oh, he does have them.

Max, when did you get those in your text messages?

Because Quiggs is.

Quiggs is a terrorist.

Like, did he send that?

That's the problem.

Did he send that to you while you were?

Do you have a terrorist that works

in this company?

Did he send those to you while you were at the White House?

Yes.

They probably saw that.

The people that monitor your phones.

Okay.

I guess.

I don't know.

I didn't open that.

Oh, my God, Max.

This is a huge gun that you have.

Quigs is on the front lawn?

What the hell, Max?

Oh, no.

He's got a bomb!

Are those real?

I think we can show those on YouTube.

Say that following image is not real.

Yeah, the following image is the doctor.

We can't show it.

Well, at least on social.

Yeah.

We could tweet them out.

Yeah,

you can tweet it out.

I called a bomb.

Okay.

Bomb's very funny.

Okay.

Yeah, sorry.

I'm just going back to my spot.

Oh.

You you got lost.

Let me know when you're back at your spot.

Yeah, tell us, tell us, give us the sign when you're back at your spot.

All right, I'm back.

Okay.

An insecure walrus on Ozempic and his Pokemon card dealer wife hosts a podcast with the spoiled brat son and the overweight family bulldog, where they attempt occasionally coherent yet entertaining discourse regarding almost sports.

A nervous group of juveniles whom I can't help but imagine with underbites chime in from their holding pen

every every now and then would recommend.

I like that.

That was very nice.

I do like the name holding pen.

Yeah.

We should maybe put a big holding pen.

The pug pen.

The pug pen.

That's good.

The holding pen.

You guys look good in there.

We should also

try to figure out if I had an underbite.

And it's also so funny that you guys, we were like, hey, decorate the holding pen, and you guys literally just made a eight-year-old's bedroom.

It is nice.

What else do you want for me?

Nothing.

I'm saying I like it.

It's very funny.

I think me and Big Cat should lock you in there during the shows, though.

Dude, I went in there the other day and it smelled so bad.

You already said this on the last one.

I don't, but I got to say it again because it was so bad.

What are you doing in there?

It is so fucking hot in here, and there is zero ventilation at all.

That's a fact.

It was nice out in Chicago.

The air is not on.

There is no vents in here.

There are no vents.

The funniest thing with our, because we've been in this studio for a year and a half now, the funniest thing is we just still have the R.

Kelly TV that we've never turned on.

That is one of the dumbest things that has ever been put in a studio.

There's a, for people who don't know what I'm talking about, behind the cameras, there's a small TV right above the glass that is, it's blinking right now.

What is it?

Does it go on?

Have we ever turned it on?

I think it was meant for you guys to watch TV.

No, it was not.

How do you watch TV?

It was meant for interviews.

But

how would we ever think the interviews would get?

Oh, it does turn on.

That's it.

We got.

Is the Michael Scott TV?

Is it hooked up to Michael Scott TV?

I know it's hooked up to power, but does it have like an input?

I don't think so.

Good job, Pete.

Fucking idiot.

Come drinker.

It is the size of a large iPad, and it's about 15 to 25 feet away from the internet.

So far away from us.

All right, last one.

Yeah.

I can't roast you guys because I just love this cast so much.

I always enjoy

cast or like someone came up to me in person.

It's like kind of, kind of me to you guys, too.

But when they're like, you're my favorite character on the show, it just makes me feel like not a real person.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, that's okay.

You're my favorite character.

Like you're an actor?

Yeah.

Yeah.

In our sitcom.

But I just want to say thank you so much for all the podcasts.

I will hopefully make you feel old, though.

I graduated high school about the same time the show came out in 2016.

i now have dropped out of college have a career house wife and kid like they put dropped out of college like instead of graduated from college yeah dropped out respect i feel as as if i have grown up with you guys as i have become a real adult listening to you guys and enjoying all the football talk you are my espn go pats please run back the yellow things for first mount rushmore

oh the mount rushmore yellow things i'm getting ready for mount rushmore season i'm me too excited

i'm pumped

what do you mean you've got some good ones i got some good i have a notes app of Mount Rushmore who we can do.

Oh, of topics.

Do you guys want to do the Mount Rushmore yellow things?

Run it back.

I don't even remember doing that the first time.

You don't remember?

No.

On the bus?

Shut up.

Oh, that was.

Cheese.

I thought he was talking about way back.

No, no, no.

Beer.

Yeah.

Cheese.

That was a very contentious.

And that was, I think, when Peter Schraeger walked on the bus.

He was like, what are you guys here?

Yeah, we were mad.

We were mad, mad.

What?

Look at Max Jackson's text.

I almost pooped my pants.

It was a full sprint out of the booth.

I was wondering where he went.

Oh, no.

That's tough when, like, the roasts are basically calling that out.

And then he almost did.

Yeah.

Oh, man.

All right.

And show we got, oh, Shane has presents for us.

By the way, I yellow cold play, dude.

Yellow cold play, yeah.

Code answer.

Um, quick

rest in peace to uh Nick Soars, Cinema Lord.

So Kirk Minahan show.

Kirk texted me.

I guess he was a huge AWL, so uh, as well.

So, really sad, 32 years old.

Yeah.

Just one of those things, you know, just take every moment and don't take any moment for granted, is what I'm trying to say.

So, as SP Cinnamon Lords, as Warren Zivon would say, enjoy every sandwich.

Yeah.

I think about that when I'm eating sandwiches.

Yeah.

Every minute.

Life is short, and he was a very entertaining guy.

So, R.I.P.

Cinema Lords.

All right, Shane.

Yes, sir.

Shane.

You went to Italy.

Yep.

Your mic's not on

at all.

Talk.

hello you went to Italy I did killed the pope killed the pope did not do that fuck some Italian broads

oh Sounds like he sounds like he didn't kill the pope leave any gifts behind

Will you have any Italian children?

I mean I'm Italian so probably

yeah true good point you got me on a technicality how was it though um it was cool yeah always wanted to go to Italy so it was like a nice check off the bucket list I wouldn't say it was necessarily like fun but it was like cool

why?

It was a solo trip to Italy.

It should be fun.

You didn't have any fun?

I mean, it was like something I always wanted to do, but it wasn't like, oh, this is like, I'm having the time of my life here, you know?

You never thought about staying?

No.

I was like, by the last day, the night before I left, I got McDonald's because I just needed

a change.

Did they have the same stuff on the menu?

They did, but their proportions are...

terrible.

Oh, no.

I got like a, I usually get like a large meal, so I got a large drink and it was like size of a small here.

Well, the drinks, yeah.

It's probably a good thing.

And the fries are

like a small fire.

I was at the movie theater last week and I got a small drink.

The small drink was probably 54 ounces.

Yeah.

It was insane.

Yeah.

So good trip, though.

Yeah, it was a good trip.

It was really cool to.

You missed us?

I did, yeah.

Okay.

Did you miss sports?

Actually, yeah, because I actually watched the NFL draft, which in Italy was at 3 a.m.

Oh, yeah.

So I was up for like from 3 a.m.

to like 6 a.m.

and then it like wiped out my whole day.

When do you grade the Chargers?

Wait.

Hold on.

So you went to Italy and you watched the NFL draft and then the days after the NFL draft you just didn't do anything.

Well, no, the day.

So I left Saturday.

The draft was Thursday night, right?

So

that day I just slept in to like one or two and then I just hit restaurants for the rest of the day.

That's fun.

What a great I mean, yeah, it's a great trip.

I cannot watch the draft.

Yeah, no, you have to watch the draft.

Yeah.

It's how the Chargers do.

I'm pretty happy with.

Everyone hates on like the Amarion Hampton pick, but I bet him 16 to 1 to win offensive rotator.

Everyone's like Najee Harris, but like Najee's like a one-year deal.

Yeah, he's going to be gone.

That picture they showed of Amarion Hampton, he looks jacked.

Shaking Harbaugh's hand is huge.

Huge beast.

What, Hank?

What?

What do you want to say?

The draft is the stupidest looking event in the world.

If there's one event you could not watch, it's the draft.

The people that go to the draft are insane to me, like weirdest sports fans of all times.

And like watching the draft for an extended period of time doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

It never has, never will.

Yeah, well, you thought the draft was pretty fun last year.

The 10 minutes the Patriots selected, yeah, and then I stopped watching.

I do agree that, like, if you

go to the draft in person, yeah, that's kind of a weird move because the draft, from even like a media standpoint, you just stand there and just look at a stage.

Yeah.

Yeah.

For 30 teams that aren't yours.

Yeah.

31.

31.

And

yeah, I mean, the draft is weird to go to in person.

I went to it once in Chicago, and I was just like, this is boring.

But I also went to like the second day.

It is fun to boo Goodell, though.

Yeah.

Actually, thank you to the people who

do that after we win the Super Bowl and he's coming out to bring a little party.

But, you know, to each their own.

Everyone has a different time.

Shut the fuck up, Hank.

I do want to say, though, because I was kind of mean to people that choose to go to the draft, they do fulfill a very important

thing.

Which is to boo Roger Roger Dell, and number two, because I love watching you with your weird hats and the outfits that you put on.

Like, thank you for that.

No, those, the people who go to the draft are the foundation, the bedrock of the NFL.

They go to the draft so we don't have to go to the draft.

Like, those are the salt of the earth, you know, where, and I, because when the draft was here at Chicago, I went and interviewed a bunch of them.

They all know each other.

There's like a network of super fans.

Super fans, yeah.

I love them.

They're the best.

They make the world go around.

They deserve all the credit.

They are the shield.

All right, so you got us gifts.

I did.

And Willie's not here.

I should probably preface.

I got everyone but Max presents.

That one's pooping.

All right, do you want to open yours first, Hank?

Yeah.

Or memes, you get one?

I got one.

All right.

Let us know what you got.

Are these joke gifts or real gifts?

I mean.

Oh, let's go.

What'd you get?

It's a coffee mug with a pair of titties.

Oh, hell yeah.

Sorry, so the joke was real gifts.

Did we all get that?

That would have rocked.

Yeah.

We all just opened up a coffee bug with a pair of titties.

Would you get Hank?

Hank?

I think this is like a mini ashtray with the Roma Coliseum.

Or what is this?

It's an ashtray.

Ashtray, yeah.

Yeah.

Anything in there?

Things on there.

Yeah.

Why are there tissue paper?

There's no tissue paper, so I put it.

Who's lupa?

Who's this lupa cow?

Tissue.

That's like the

I don't know.

It's like a

like a wolf breastfeeding.

Oh shit.

I got a Pope bobblehead.

Four roll head rocks.

Look at that.

I looked.

The dead pope?

Yeah, the dead pope.

That's a collector's item now.

Yep.

I looked everywhere for a Pizza Balla memorabilia.

Oh, there's none anywhere.

Soon.

We're going to get that soon.

Vatican was pretty pro Francis when I was there.

Yeah, Pizza Ball is going to get his shit.

I got a Rome ashtray.

Oh, yeah.

You think I smoked?

So, which one?

Yeah, who got the double gift?

You guys, you guys, I wanted to get something unique for everyone or try to, and I couldn't think of a personalized

other than you to

tend to burn.

Oh, yeah,

you can say that.

What did you get popped?

I got

a little keychain that says bologna on it.

Is this Tortellini?

Oh, Tortellini.

Oh, no.

Tortellini keychain?

Yeah.

And you didn't get Max anything.

I did not.

I love that.

But it was for.

I was looking everywhere.

They don't let you carry meatballs across the board.

I was looking everywhere for meatball-related things, and that's just like an American stereotype, I fear.

Max, did you poop yourself?

He asked if you shit yourself.

I like memes being like Max is like Max is an old man, and memes is his caretaker.

What happened?

Your Lee Corps shit yourself, and memes is Kirk Herb Street.

Yeah, no, yeah, he asked you a question.

I did not shit myself.

Oh, okay.

I almost did.

I don't know where they came out of nowhere.

Okay.

By the rules of Yankees.

Came out of your butt.

Yankee swap.

I'm going to.

I'm going to trade my Pope bobblehead for the coffee mug with titties.

Oh, boobs.

Can't do that.

Why?

It's Yankee Swap.

You want to trade for my nothing?

I mean, I got a Pope bobblehead.

I'm a fucking pizza bala guy, and I got a fucking dead Pope bobblehead.

Nim specifically asked for the mug.

I collect mugs.

All right, just so we're clear, for any future trips you take, Shane,

outside of sports,

I would say my two favorite things in the world are coffee and tits.

Okay,

the only other mug like that was one with the statue of David's penis on it.

That would have been funny.

That would have been a funny mug.

That would have been funny.

But I would have.

If you see any breast stuff or coffee stuff, me.

What did you get yourself, Shane?

More importantly.

I got a

like, I didn't want to get something from like a souvenir shop, so I got like a real Italian leather, like engraved.

Oh, that's nice.

Do you want to trade it for the Pope bobblehead that's

should I come back with some Hawaiian, some Hawaiian?

Yes,

I like that.

Also, just a point of clarification.

How did that work?

Did memes say before you left, he's like, hey, if you see any coffee mugs with tits, I want it.

I asked everybody if there's like a type of souvenir they want.

And he said coffee tits.

And he said coffee mug.

I saw the one with tits, and I was like, I have to get this one.

I just like the idea of memes just being like, hey, I know you're going halfway around the world, but...

If you got any of those titty coffee mugs, get me one, man.

It's good.

How do you, you like yours?

Yeah, it's good.

I don't really smoke, but I like it.

What do you think about my dead pope?

Well, he's dead.

You got a statue of a dead guy up there.

So that's cool.

Yeah.

That's one of the good popes, right?

Yeah.

I think so.

I don't know.

Beat the accusations.

No accusations?

I think the part I like about it is that it's so small you can't even tell it's a bobblehead.

It's also a throwback pope because that's the pope from like 40 years ago.

Yeah.

That's a young pope.

Francesco.

I had luggage.

I couldn't get like the biggest bobblehead there was.

Yeah, no, no, you clearly didn't get the biggest bobblehead there.

You actually got the smallest bobblehead there ever was.

Can you zoom in?

Are you able to get it?

Can you even see it?

I like it, Shane.

You know what it is, though?

Honestly, anyone who brings back any gift, it is the thought to count.

It is.

And you know what?

And you say that when you get a shitty gift.

So it is the thought to count.

I think I might start smoking.

Just because of that?

Yeah, because of this.

You're welcome.

I might start collecting Pope Bobblewagon.

Thank you, Shane.

Glad to to have you back.

Appreciate you, Shane.

Appreciate you a lot.

All right.

Look at him.

He's so fucking ready.

Numbers.

Three.

I think Big Cat got that one.

Did Hank say that?

No, I got it.

I did say it.

Numbers.

Three.

Oh, fuck.

Hank got it.

Hank got it.

77.

90.

Actually, no, I'm going to go 77.

What are you going going to do, memes?

I don't know.

I think it's going to be three.

It's not going to be.

Why would you think it's going to be three?

Because I got it.

I'll do eight.

I'll do 56.

I'll do 59.

I like that.

99.

Pug.

33.

I'll do number eight.

Ah, memes.

Memes got eight.

21.

What was your number?

93.

93?

63.

You're right on it, Max.

So close.

Meames, you're never gonna get it.

Love you guys.

Got tits, though.

Thank you, Shane.