NFL Week 2 Mega Preview, TNF Recap, Shannon Sharpe Went Viral + Brooks Koepka & Talor Gooch In Studio

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.

Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

On today's Pardon My Take, we have our good friend Brooks Koepka and Taylor Gooch,

professional golfers on Live Tour in studio.

They were here this weekend, so we figured we have to have Brooks on because he's our good friend.

We are going to talk a lot of football, a full weekend preview, some picks, some storylines, some tangents, everything. We're going to talk Thursday night football.
Tua got concussed. The Bills looked awesome.
And then we have a fire fest. And if you're lactose intolerant, get ready for the fire fest.
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Today is Friday, September 13th.

And no one circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills.

And Tua got concussed.

So we were taping the weekend preview for the second half of the game.

We saw it happen live.

It's bad.

I really don't remember anyone having as bad of injury luck, concussion luck like Tua. It sucks so bad.
Antonio Brown. Antonio Brown.
Not bad. Now, I hope Tua's okay.
It was bad because the fingers happened again. And, yeah, it just sucks.
I don't really know what to say other than it sucks. He wasn't well up into it we probably should talk about the game the bills look awesome yeah we were saying it during the game I know that this podcast gets accused of Josh Allen glazing I don't think there's a guy besides Patrick Mahomes that you would take over Josh Allen yeah Josh Allen is really good though the knock against him is he's not Patrick Mahomes.
And he's lost tough games to Patrick Mahomes,

some of which were on his defense entirely and not on him.

But he is very, very good still.

Yeah.

So don't worry about Josh Allen.

He's going to be great this year again.

I hope he stays healthy.

He's playing with that giant glove on it.

It's like the hamburger helper hand died on his wrist.

It was massive, so I don't think his left hand is healthy. But he's like, you know what? I'm a gamer.
I'm going to go out there. I'm going to play.
He played awesome. Yeah, and he's played awesome in two games so far, and this was supposed to be kind of a reset year for the Bills.
They don't have Stephon Diggs anymore. Gabe Davis is in Jacksonville, like all that stuff.
He's still Josh Allen. That's what having a franchise quarterback looks like.

On the other side, before Tua got hurt,

the Dolphins are still the Dolphins in the fact that they can't beat the Buffalo Bills.

And I don't know.

Usually we don't see this Dolphins performance until later in the season.

Maybe they got it out of the way.

The good news is we're not going to call them frauds.

Yeah, but they did not look good.

Yeah, they looked bad.

They did not look bad.

the offense performance until later in the season maybe they got out of the way the good news is we're not going to call them frauds yeah but they didn't they they did not look good yeah they look bad they did not look bad they look terrible on defense the offense didn't look good the end of the first half was just crazy to me watching what mcdaniel was doing with the clock he gave up he gave up at the end of the first half he was he was playing for a field goal at that at originally i thought he was just trying to run out the clock with three minutes left yeah because i think three maybe three minutes 15 seconds went off the clock and they were down to like i don't know the 35 yard line and it was like a full field drive it's like i don't even know that's a that's a long drive just to gain those 50 yards in general yeah not to mention that you have timeouts and it's the end of the half just very very strange the way he way he was calling the end of that half. Yeah.
Tua looked bad in the first half when he played. First interception was not his fault.
He actually threw a perfect pass. Great pass.
The receiver just didn't turn in time. Yeah.
Second one, I'm sure there was a miscommunication, but he air-mailed one over Robbie Chosen's head. And then the game was kind of over when they went for it on fourth and two at the 47-yard line and he got sacked.
And it was just like, yeah, the Bills are just better than the Dolphins. I will stand with the Dolphins fans and say that the NFL fucked you by having to play the Bills at a night game.
You lose the advantage of the sun. Although it did look so hot and sweaty.
It looked hot. It looked very humid.
Before the game, too, it looked like he had played a full game already. Yeah.
He was just sweating his balls off. Also, I like the Dolphins uniforms tonight.
Love them. I like the Dolphins uniforms.
The throwbacks and the throwback end zones, those are quality uniforms. Yeah.
Very good primetime uniforms. Now, for Tua, I am very glad that Tua got a contract this season.
Yeah. Because now it takes all the financial reasons away from Tua for him to decide whether or not he wants to keep playing football yeah so if he wants to keep playing football it's not because he needs it for the money to set himself up for the rest of his life his kids up whatever that case may be uh he doesn't have to think about that at all because he's set financially yeah i don't know what's going to happen but i would not be surprised if he was like, I'm done playing football because, what, this is the third time that we've seen the fencing reflex from him? Yeah, it's bad.
Can he at least wear a guardian cap? I don't know if this would have helped here. Also, we should mention it was DeMar Hamlin, which is a weird occurrence.
Crazy that it was Tua's head and DeMar Hamlin's chest. Yeah.
Yeah. It was weird.
But yeah, I agree with you. I don't know what the future is, but this does feel like...
And maybe it's because two of them happened in primetime, and that is just part of the psyche of it. Like, we saw it twice in primetime, and it just feels...
Like, if it happens on a Sunday, your eyes are everywhere. You kind of miss it.
Oh, you oh you see the replay maybe but it happened on primetime twice and we're sitting here being like is he okay like there's bigger things in football and I don't know he can't make a decision right now and I hope he keeps playing football but it's scary the fact that he's been concussed this badly this many times I think it's a a fair point, and you could say that if every game was played in primetime, there would be a lot more guys that would be concerned about. Correct.
Because we would have seen all the concussions that happen. And with Tua in that other primetime game, didn't he get, like it was clear that he was concussed? He was out on a stretcher.
Well, it was clear that he was concussed and he stayed in the game, and then he got more concussed. I think it was the week before he was concussed.
Oh, yeah, you're right. You might be right.
There's been a lot of very blatant in-your-face concussions for Tua. I'm just glad that he can make his decision about whether or not he wants to play and not have to worry about having to play to make money.
Yeah, but the Bills are good. Yeah, the Bills are good.
The Bills are still good. The Bills are very good.
Yeah, and again, it's impressive that they've done it at least through two weeks. Obviously, it's a very long season, but this was supposed to be a reset.
They were underdogs tonight. Josh Allen didn't have to throw the ball a ton.
I mean, the game script, if you look at his stats, it's not like he lit it up. He threw 139 yards passing, but if you watch the game, it was more because they were in such control.
Yeah. Basically from the second quarter on that they could just run the ball and control the clock.
And James Cook had an awesome game. Three touchdowns for James Cook.
James Cook was awesome. He was great.
And the Dolphins defense looked very soft. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
The other story before we get to our weekend in preview. Shannon Sharp.
Yeah. Shannon goes live on IG.
now i guess we should set the table for people that don't know what we're talking about yeah on wednesday afternoon uh afternoon delight shannon sharp went live went live on instagram and it was the sound of uh what seemed to be a man and a woman engaged in a perfectly natural physical act, healthy physical act, that thousands, if not millions, if not billions of people do. And it was live for a couple minutes, and then it turned off, and everybody got to listen to Ankh having sex.
Ankh has turned into Poppy. Yeah.
And the grunts are what were something else. Did you think he wasn't going to grunt? Yeah Oh I had Shannon pegged as a grunter Yeah oh yeah Yeah He sounded like a Denver Broncos He was like growling Yeah he was growling and grunting and neighing That's a passionate man He still got it Still got it Still got it And again I didn't think it was anything less Yeah because those I don't know if I've ever heard.
That's a stallion right there. Yeah.
I like how his instant reaction was to go hacked. Yeah, no, that just shows that whenever someone says they're hacked, they're not hacked.
They just fucked up. I still don't really understand how, because it is a couple steps to go live, how he did that.
So I listened to his podcast that he did last night with Ocho Cinco, and his explanation was that he's never been live on Instagram before. Oh.
He's never done it. And he had his phone, and he tossed his phone onto the bed, and then he was having sex.
Then his other phone was getting FaceTime calls, phone calls left and right while he was boning. Didn't pick those up, but he picked one up later, and they said, hey, we can hear you.
You're having sex you're having sex and he was like how i have no idea how and he went to his phone he's been live on ig so now now i'm terrified now i'm scared that but this is a ticking time bomb sex

yeah there's a ticking time bomb that i've got in my pocket and i could be i would be caught doing

way more embarrassing stuff than having sex yeah i do think it is like he's only only he's old

I'm going to go right and he does have a very, very popular show, and it did get a lot of people talking about it. So there's a little bit of...
Paul Pierce, by the way. Yeah, he did that to himself.
Well, no. No, Paul Pierce.
No. Paul Pierce, his mistake was he didn't fuck.
Right. He didn't even fuck.
All he did was. Yeah, but I think if you fucked it, it was like Friday night.
He was having a couple of drinks with some friends. Yeah, but then you got to fuck.
Who happened to be strippers. Did you miss the part about perfectly normal, healthy adult behavior? You got to fuck.
Right. He got fired.
He got fucked. Yeah.
Paul Pierce did. Yeah.
yeah but he his problem was he didn't have sex he should have gone all the way to sex if he had had sex he wouldn't have gotten fucked right because that like if shannon sharp stayed with i got hacked thing or i was i don't know the the i felt bad for paul pierce all things considered of course yeah yeah that takeaway. All things considered, him getting hacked.
His Instagram live was way funnier. The Instagram live for Shane Sharp actually makes him seem a lot cooler.
Like I said, still got it. Yeah, still got it.
Still got it. The man fucks, and he's a passionate guy.
Like I said, those are sounds I'm not familiar with. Yeah.
This is why Skip and Ernestine sleep in separate rooms. have to might have to rebuttal oh my no that's that's why they sleep in different bedrooms that would be funny though he oh Skip he's just fucking no he's only wearing the Ezekiel Elliott jersey yeah Skip and Ernestine doing a comparable video would just be Skip like laying in bed with her like see we, we're in the same bed.
I bet you Skip. Kissing lightly on the lip.
I bet he gets his ass eaten. Either way, Shannon Sharp ruled like 24 hours of internet.
Yeah, it was great. Yeah.
I'm walking into Skip Bayless's bedroom. He's got his legs over his head.
Oh, man. All right.
Should we get to our weekend preview? Let's do it. Weekend preview.
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We're ready to roll. Yeah, week one doesn't mean anything.
Week one doesn't mean anything, unless you're one of those. No, it doesn't mean anything.
Then it means something. We have three games late this week, so we're going to have to really – the witching hour is going to be – I thought they changed that.
I think it's coming soon. I thought they made a whole announcement.
I think they made an announcement but it might have been like starting week like six or something they might have been like get off our back announcement kind of thing we know this sucks yeah but we're still gonna do it yeah all right so let's hop into the games we're gonna do our picks we're gonna have a td parlay for the people uh let's start with Saints and Cowboys.

America's Game of the Week.

Cowboys are 1-0 in Tom Brady games.

That's a fact.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, Tom, old Tom's going to get another crack at it.

I think he's probably taking some of this criticism to heart,

and he's going to try to improve.

But the biggest winner, actually, in Tom Brady's debut is Tony Romo.

Yes.

Well, Greg Olson. Greg Olson.
Greg Olson. Greg Olson.
The biggest one. Greg Olson literally saw dollar signs.
Yeah. When Tom Brady had his week one performance.
Winner number two would be Tony Romo because it doesn't seem like Tony Romo's that bad. No.
I was thinking about it. What? Continue.
Tom Brady should. Fox has a lot of money.
money if they were smart they should just hire max kellerman to be on tom brady's staff and just be like tom brady's over the hill he can't get it done he can't get it done he can't get it done as an announcer now the one thing that was interesting uh and it's not in defense of tom brady but i don't understand why fox hasn't fought harder for this tom brady is not allowed to do the pre-game interviews with the teams. Because he wants to be an owner, yeah.
And they basically, I think Burkhart is who he's with, was like, yeah, that's a big deal. It is a big deal, yeah.
That's a big deal not knowing what the teams are going to want to do, talking game plans with the coaches, all that stuff. It was also unlucky for Tom that he had to do a game where one quarterback was actually playing terribly.
Yeah. In his very first game.
If that game had been like week six or seven, because we want to hear Tom talk about football naturally. We want to hear Tom Brady be Tom Brady like he was in his living room, where he'd probably be like, this guy can't get it done.
Yeah. But the fact it was his first game probably made it so much more harder for him to criticize a quarterback that was playing openly stinkily.
Yes. Yes.
Openly stinkily. Openly stinkily.
I have a prediction for this game. Okay.
Well, not really a prediction because I'm for Saints at Cowboys. This might be a fraud bowl.
Ooh. Because both teams look really good in week one.
We don't know where the teams that are playing against that bad. Probably.
Well, I don't know if the Cowboys. Yeah that bad probably well i don't know if the cowboys yeah i i think the cowboys can win this game because they are the kings of september and october uh mike mccarthy in september october 71 48 and three against the spread also dennis allen uh after a win a straight up win is 5 16 and 2 and 2 against the spread interesting uh i though this game to me it's it's really the panthers didn't pressure derrick carr derrick carr who we like uh under pressure is it's a big drop off he's you know they have those advanced stats like you know clean pocket versus uh under pressure and yeah of course actually there's a couple guys who actually get better under pressure.
I think Joe Burrow might be one of them. But he goes from 112.3 rating to 73.1 when pressured, and the Cowboys defensive line is all about the pressure.
They're going to turn the heat up. Yeah, they were pretty excitable last week.
They were getting after Deshaun. I have another stat for you.
Okay. So, Clint Kubiak.
Yeah. He's going to be on the sideline again, sideline again we think we think we're not sure but their offense is a lot different this year than it was last year so they had 28 plays and the running plays that use pre-snap motion right they got 137 yards on pre-snap motion runs and that's more than any of their other games in 2023 so they're putting a new wrinkle they're doing some new stuff some new stuff.
They're doing new stuff out there. I have a stat for you guys.
Okay, Hank's stat of the week. Hank's stat of the week.
I think Tom Brady's going to be fine. Oh, okay.
I think people, it's going to be reversed Tony Romo where everyone was sucking Tony Romo's dick so hard in the beginning that it made people flip. Whereas now, because Tom Brady's so fresh, people are tearing him down so hard.
Once he gets good are going to love him okay it's kind of like ryan pole's making a really bad trade when he became gm of the bears genius move and then everything that he does after that it's like this guy's awesome he did the chase the chase claypool was actually i could make the argument that ryan pole's trading for clay chase claypool using a second round pick was the smartest trade he's ever made. Go on.
Because then it led to everyone else being like, this guy doesn't know what he's doing, and then he made all the other trades that have all been dynamite. Because everyone else thought that they were getting a Chase Claypool-type trade.
Correct. Yeah.
PFT, I think that you don't like the Cowboys. You've hated the Cowboys your whole life.
I think you have to be a Cowboys fan on Sunday. Why is that? So Jake Ferguson is hurt.
The Cowboys have a few different – he might play. They have a few different backup tight ends.
But I did some deep diving into what they might do. And Brian Schottenheimer, the offensive coordinator for the Cowboys, said, you guys see the way we're using Hunter Lempke? Hunter Lempke.
Hunter Lempke. Former Loman Trophy winner.
He's a 2022 Loman Trophy. He said, I mean, Hunter Lempke does not get enough credit for what he does for our offense.
I think he's a steal. We were able to get him where we got him.
He then revealed during the season opener that there was a quick toss sweep to the right that Lepke had not even practiced and made it work one of the more physical players we have this guy he is physical he loves contact he's a low leverage player yeah it's not just the initial strike it's the ability to sustain and stay low with leverage and strain and knock people back I think he's going to maybe play tight end if Jake Ferguson He could. He could do it all.
He lined up a tight end a little bit against the Browns. So Hunter Lepke, I love him because he's a great fullback.
I hate him for two reasons, though. One, because he's a cowboy.
And two, because he demolished James Madison in the playoff. I think it was 2022.
Yeah. That's when he won the low man.
Just absolutely destroyed us. Yeah.
But I do like him as a fullback. Yeah.
I respect his position. I respect his craft.
He is kind of like the way that he's described right there. I would also describe him as a working man's Carson Steele.
Carson Steele's a little more flashy. Yeah.
He's got the hair going. Hunter Lepke is just, he's as North Dakota as they come.
I might just bet Hunter Lepke to score a touchdown. They probably won't even list it, but I might do it.

Did he get a touchdown last year?

He might have, but I think they're going to line him up in tight end if Jake Ferguson.

Jake Ferguson's an important piece.

I've dubbed him, and it's not biased, but he is Barry Alvarez's grandson.

I've dubbed him next up in the tight end community.

Okay.

Next year, maybe this year.

I think it should be this year.

He'll be part of the Laporta's. Oh oh two i just threw another pick six yikes uh the laportas the kelseys the kittles these guys part of the new breed they got like hey well i mean kelsey i guess is the old breed but still very very good but the uh guys in the tight end community were like man this guy is awesome.
Yeah, he he's a good player i'll admit that i'll be unbiased when i evaluate tight ends and fullbacks yeah so he'll be important um okay next up we have bucks at lions baker was awesome probably played the best of any quarterback in week one i think the bucks might be the best team in the NFL. Okay, here's the problem with the Bucs, though.

They've got a lot of injuries

very early. So they have a cluster

injury at cornerback. They lost their starter

Zion McCollum. They lost their backup

Bryce Hall. They lost their safety

Antoine Winfield. They're signing guys

off the street. They also lost some defensive

line guys.

I think this is going to be a problem

against a team that one, Lions showed thatameson williams he's ready to amon ross st brown is one of those guys that i put in the category if he has a bad game just bet everything the next game that he's going to be awesome because we've met him we've had him on the show he doesn't feel like the type of guy that takes a bad performance and obviously he does more than just catching He blocks a lot and he's doing a lot of stuff. He's very physical week one.
Right. But a performance where he doesn't catch the ball a lot or get a touchdown, I feel like he takes that very personally.
Yeah, I would agree with that. He gets pissed off at himself and he's like, it's not happening again.
I think he's going to have a huge game. Also, I was being a little bit facetious about saying that the Bucs are the best team in the NFL.
I'm just saying that because they beat us week one. No, they looked incredible.
I can say to myself, we just lost to the best team in football. It's okay.
The Bucs indoors just never sits right with me. No.
I don't think I've ever bet on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers to win an indoor game. No.
And the Lions are for real, for real. Yeah, they are.
I actually think they didn't play a great game against the rams and won that game i think they're gonna dan campbell's kind of in the monra st brown where it's like if you give him some bad tape he will use it and they will come out firing so here's a fun stat jared goff our friend three and one against todd bulls defenses oh i like over the liked that a lot. He averages.
He gets how many yards passing he averages against TB. 275.
383. Woo! 383.
Damn. It feels like another dome game for Jared.
Yes. Jared loves the dome.
Yes. Yes.
Yeah, I like the line. I know the line has ticked up all the way to, I think, 7.5 now.
But if I pick this game i would probably pick the lions yeah um i'm also week two is a big trap week where you have to you have to realize that what you saw week one is going to change drastically to week two yeah sometimes i just like to erase week one from my memory entirely yeah because week one doesn't mean anything we can agree on that doesn't matter if you won last week one well it matters if you're one to know we're moving forward because you can't start better than one to know uh we move forward We don't mean anything. We can agree on that.
It doesn't matter if you won, lost week one. Well, it matters if you won.
If you're 1-0. We're moving forward.
Because you can't start better than 1-0. We move forward.
We don't look backwards. What happens every single year with how we follow, consume the NFL, we spend all offseason talking about what these teams are going to look like, have our preconceived notions, week one happens, and then you throw them all out the window, and you say, oh, yeah, it's just whatever happened in week one.
Don't do that. Don't do that.
I will probably do that, but don't do that. I know I'll do that, but don't do that.
I could see Baker just loving Dan Campbell a lot, too. He seems like he would love to play for Dan.
Baker's the best. Yeah.
He really is. He's just – I root so hard for him.
Yeah. Everyone counted him out.
That actually, with the whole Deshaun thing going on in Cleveland, Baker has never looked better before. Yeah.
How you like me now, that's what he's saying. Seriously.
Baker Mayfield. Seriously.
Okay. Next up, Colts at Packers.
PFT, you already have told us that you've made a very large wager on the Colts. Biggest bet of the season.
I know it's early, but so far biggest bet of the season on the Colts. I'm nervous for you.
I took him at minus three, then the line moved to minus two and a half. And all the money's on the Colts.
All the money's on the Colts. But this is strictly a bet against Malik Willis game.
And so sometimes we need to remind ourselves that there's 21 other guys that play football on that team. But I don't think that there are.
I don't think that there are 21 other guys. I think it's just an entire team of Malik Willis' this week.
I feel like the Packers are going to find a way here. And it's – so I was thinking about it more.
The Texans ran the ball very easily on the Colts. Josh Jacobs – it was funny.
When we were watching that Packers-Eagles game, Josh Jacobs in the first half looked bad. And I kind of walked away from that game like, Josh Jacobs, he's not good.
I look back at it. He had four yards on six carries in the first half, and then he had 10 carries for 80 yards in the second half.
So he can still play, and I just think that Matt LaFleur is a good coach and he's going to find a way.

Like, there's a difference between having Malik Willis come in at halftime

and having Malik Willis have eight days getting ready and being like,

hey, Malik Willis, this is what we need you to do because you're not good.

Well, let me tell you a little sad.

And just try not to do the bad things and we'll make it as simple as possible for you.

A little fun fact, though, about that.

Malik Willis started three games for the Titans in 2022, and he didn't throw for 100 yards. But he did cover the spread twice.
That's important. But this is just 2.5.
Yeah. It's just 2.5.
Which is scary because everyone's on the Colts, and it went from 3.5 to 2.5. Yeah.
That's bad. Really, when I put my biggest bet of the year on a team, that's a pretty good indication that's probably also the squarest play.
Yeah. I don't know.
I just feel like I'm not going to bet it against you, but I feel like we're going to Sunday night be like, how did the Packers win this game? I'll ride with you. Let's go.
Anthony Richards. I also am not a believer in Anthony Richards.
I know people get mad at me for that. He has incredible play.
I'll say it again. He's got all the tools say it again i watched the tape yeah there's a lot of wide open guys missed a lot of guys that fell down a lot of wide open guys missed a lot of easy throws missed i think anthony it's three it's back to three so there you go okay nice three uh right it's gonna make you feel better yeah it's gotta make me feel better yeah the anthony richardson i get it i've said this colts fans get upset i get why you he's a project and why you would invest in that type of arm talent it's just not there yet at least for me looking at it i don't think he's like a top five quarterback but no no no but he but i guess the the problem is he he scores a shitload of fantasy points yep and has the wow plays.
And then the rest of the game, if you watch the rest of the game, it's like, what's going on here? We should dive into that and see who the all-time greats in terms of being awesome fantasy players, but not very good actual football players. Yeah.
Yeah. I want to know who's the goat in that conversation.
Yeah, someone tell us that. I mean, Trent Williams, or not Trent Williams, Richardson.
Trent Richardson. I don't think he scored a lot of fantasy.
I think there was one season where he may have led the league in touchdowns, or he had like a lot of touchdowns in one year. But they were all like two-yard touchdowns.
He did have a lot of those. Yeah, for that year, that might have been one of the all-time great fantasy seasons that did not correlate to football.
To being a good football player. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, it's got to be a quarterback.

It's a quarterback who can score touchdowns with his feet, too.

Yeah, it's pretty big.

I mean, Justin Fields, actually.

That's the answer.

That's the answer, yeah. Justin Fields was a very good fantasy quarterback last year

and not a very good – he scored 11 touchdowns in 2012.

Yeah.

950 yards.

That probably didn't lead the league, but it was a lot of touchdowns.

It was a lot of touchdowns.

Okay.

Yeah, I just don't – I don't know. I don't know know.
This is a tough game. There's some tough games out there.
What? It's not a home game. No, it's at Green Bay.
Jets at Titans. Memes? How are we feeling? I'm feeling all the way back.
All the way back. That was quick.
Let's go. That's also dangerous, though.
Is that all the way back? Does getting, because if you had gotten 60% back, I would think that the emotional crash if they lost this game wouldn't be as hard. If you're all the way back, we could have all the way out memes like we did the other day.
Yeah, all the way out. I'm setting myself up for failure again.
Maybe find a middle ground? You know what? I love it, memes. You just love hard.
But it's the reason why I'm setting myself up because I think this is the correct see where you're at as a team game. Got it.
The best comment from Wednesday's episode, someone someone was like what do you think's going through max's head that he's been uh called the craziest most irrational fan and the craziest most irrational fans been sitting right next to him in the booth this whole time yeah that's a good point so it was perfect the thing is when max loses it's like what you see is what you get i'm gonna let to let all my emotions out, and then I'll be able to just clear him.

Then I'll be clear-headed.

With memes, it just consumes him.

He becomes a loss after the game. I don't even think it would be quiet quitting because it was very loud how he quit.

Yeah.

Because we just knew he wasn't here.

It was – yeah.

So, memes, you're all the way back.

I'm worried about you for this game.

I'm all the way back. This is – see where you're at as a team because, obviously, yeah.
So, Memes, you're all the way back. I'm worried about you for this game.
I'm all the way back. See where you're at as a team.
Because, obviously, the 49ers, probably the best team in the NFL right now. Titans just came up.
Or the Bucs. Or the Titans defense.
The Titans defense is good. That's what I'm worried about for you, Memes.
Tavondre Sweat is a monster in the middle of the field. And if Aaron Rodgers, which I said it after I watched that game, his arm is still there, but his mobility is clearly limited, having a guy who's just coming up the middle constantly doesn't feel like a good thing for a 41-year-old quarterback coming back from a killis injury.
Thoughts?

Correct.

But there is a major key on the Titans' defense that's returning this week,

and that's Jamal Adams.

Oh, okay.

So that means guys are going to be open.

Blitz boy.

So Jamal Adams still in the league.

Still in the league on the Titans.

That's how I found out he was still playing.

Yep.

You guys did.

You fleeced the Seahawks.

Oh, yeah. I guess you feathered them.
But, was a uh that was a big big trade for you guys who'd you get for that i believe it's garrett wilson and elijah vera tucker two first round picks okay so um what's what's the latest on hassan reddick he's not coming back have they talked they have not talked they just not care about money yeah it's kind of admirable i said earlier but i did the hassan reddick yeah he's he he's losing eight hundred thousand dollars a game he is gaining our respect which is worth zero dollars yeah that's pretty much what's happening well i guess he could do like maybe he could start doing some commercials Sure. Oh, no.
Yeah. Yeah.
What was the oh, no? Tua's concussed.

Who?

Tua.

Tua? Tua. Well, I guess he could do, like, maybe he could start doing some commercials.
Sure. Oh, no.
Yeah.

Yeah.

What was the oh, no?

Dude was concussed.

Who?

Tua.

Tua?

Oh, no.

Wait, are you ahead of us?

Are you way ahead of us?

I can't.

Yeah, he's ahead of us.

Oh.

That fucking sucks for Tua.

Yeah.

Like, that was another bad one.

Damn it.

Let's see what happened. I don't like what they should know i just got crunched was that that was damar oh that would be a good talking point all right um praise for tua yeah well you have heard us talk about it at the beginning of the show that that just happened live that's a peek into how we tape these things uh okay uh we'll talk we've already already talked about it but uh to vandre sweat can i go back to him real quick wait what were you saying memes about hassan reddick we were saying that uh he's got our respect which is worth nothing yeah no the hassan reddick thing doesn't make any sense okay just losing more and more money every single day they are never getting back what about our respect the respect the respect is good okay but it just zero dollars worth zero might be negative money from us to get yeah we're like branding him if we respect you a lot that probably is uh people will be like oh that's ironic i feel like this is a guy that aaron rogers has to talk to aaron rogers could could get on the same wavelength as a guy that doesn't need money.
Yeah. I think somebody needs to talk to him.
Because I think he just is like, I'm fine. But he owes over $5 million.
Is this bad leadership by Aaron Rodgers? Well, no, he doesn't owe it. Are he being fined? I think he just doesn't get paid it.
No, I think he... Oh, he got fined.
I think what happens is when you sign the new contract, it's non-negotiable. That money gets taken out.
Got it. Yeah, so I think he owes money.
But yeah, I would say it might be bad leadership on Aaron Rodgers' part. Yeah, I would say so too.
He's supposed to lead the team. Hasn't talked to him.
Guys are no-show. Gotta step up.
You need some guys to make plays on defense. Gotta step up.
Someone needs to talk to him. Someone needs to talk to him.
You should talk to him, memes. Reach out to him.
Hit him up on DM him right now and be like, hey, man. Do you need to talk? A memes from Pardon My Take.
I cried on Tuesday. Can you please hit me up? I'd love to talk.
All right. I'll do it right now.
Yes. All right.
Here we go. Tavondre Sweat, by the way.
Baldi tried to nickname him T-Pain. Okay.
And he corrected him and was like, hey, Baldi, just so you know, my nickname is Meatloaf, and it has been for my whole life. That's a good nickname.
I mean, he's a big boy. I'd say two of our history's all-time greatest singers.
Meatloaf. T-Pain and Meatloaf.
Yes. They go hand in hand yeah they should they should collab together um i think meatloaf might be dead he is dead confirmed dead yeah uh i don't know where will levis's head is at because that brian callahan quote was it wasn't good he said if we'd punted on first and 10 every time we might have won the game yeah and he's not wrong although we did block a punt can we run those stats we blocked you could have so you might have blocked four punts yeah that's probably wrong but yeah uh he now brian callan did say that his mentals are in a good spot um i just think this is going to be titans running the ball and playing titans football and playing defense and mucking it up as much as possible and if you get three and a half i'd take them this is actually a perfect example of something that happens to every single rookie head coach which is they say something that's true and that wasn't meant to cause harm and then when they see it written down online then they get asked a bunch of questions about it they're like shit now i'll just never say anything to you guys yeah so congratulations to cal and for getting out of the way after one week yes because it takes coaches sometimes six seven weeks to get to that point now he's just reached the spot where he's like i will not say another word that is remotely interesting to you guys yes yes um all right niners at vikings uh i was thinking about this the niners defense was Fred Warner.
Fred Warner. He's incredible.
Fred Warner might be one of the, I'd say probably top 10 player in the NFL when he's actually on the field. I'd agree with you.
Yeah. And it made me think like back to last year's Niners.
And I kind of memory hold it because he was used as a scapegoat but that Niners defense hated Steve Wilkes remember all the comments and like Bosa saying that they're just not playing the right defense and and there was the comments that he was a scapegoat after the Super Bowl and all this stuff yep I feel like they got their swagger back because they hired a guy from within Nick Sorensen who was there for D'Amico. So he knows the Niner way.
And I think the Niners defense maybe has their swagger back. It did feel like they were playing like they had played when they had Robert Salah and D'Amico Ryans as their defensive coordinator.
Yeah, yeah. They looked really, really good against the Jets.
And they know Sam Darnold. So Sam Darnold knows the 49ers.
But he knows Steve Wilk's 49ers. But he knows the personnel.
He knows the personnel, but he saw someone not use the personnel correctly. What is a bigger advantage in football? One guy knowing 11 guys or 11 guys knowing one guy? I think it's 11 guys knowing one.
You think so? Yeah. I don't know.
I think it's 11 guys knowing one. I also think that Kevin O'Connell – we fucked up when we did our coach's draft because Kevin O'Connell fell very, very far.
He's a very good coach. I think he's much better than we gave him credit for.
I agree. And I think that every quarterback should love playing for him.
Yeah, I agree. I just – remember the Niners lost in Minnesota last year? It was like the Brock Purdy concussions.
It was after one of the concussions. It was a weird game.
I think it was a Monday night game. They were seven-point favorites.
Maybe a little revenge. I don't know.
I like – Oh, Skylar Thompson's in. I like the Vikings to cover, but I like the Niners to win.
Okay. Okay.
Listen, I'm not going to disagree with you. That's not one of my picks.
I also like the entire narrative of Christian McCaffrey being a system running back. Yeah.
Let's keep that up. Trade him.
Because it reminds you of some of the all-star no-name guys that played really well for Kyle's dad. Yeah.
Where they just put a different guy in after every four weeks, they'd rotate a new guy you'd never heard of. And he would have 120 yards on the ground.
Orlandis Gary? Yeah. Not one of them? Smaller guy? I can't remember.
Mike Anderson? Mike Anderson. Well, wasn't he part of the Mile High salute? Mike Anderson? He might have been.
I want to say Mike. Yeah, Orlandis Gary did play for the Broncos right after they won the Super Bowl.
Yeah, they had so many of those guys. Mike Anderson.
Ruben Drones? Ruben Drones Ruben Drones yeah wait let me see football Mike Anderson

I think he was on the Ravens

for a little bit

yeah Mike Anderson was I think he started the Mile High

Salute because he was a Marine

but I thought the Mile High Salute goes back to like

I thought so too but I'm pretty sure

to Ed McCaffrey Mike Anderson was in the

Marines yep so

I don't know let's see

you want to find out

Hank say something Thank you. to Ed McCaffrey.
Mike Anderson was in the Marines. Yep.
So, I don't know.

Let's see.

You want to find out?

We got to figure this out, yeah.

Hank, say something.

No, Hank just rolled his eyes because he's bored with this line of conversation.

Maybe it was just Mike.

All right, so, yeah, Terrell Davis did start the Mile High salute.

Mike Anderson, it just meant more because he was a Marine.

I just remember when Mike Anderson would do it and people were like,

dude, he actually was a Marine.

It hit different when Mike Anderson hit it, yeah. He was actually saluting.
Let's see. Terrell Davis reveals.
Oh, it's a video. I'm not going to watch it.
What game are we talking about? That was my Ohio salute talk. We were talking about the Niners and the Vikings.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because we were talking about the old school Mike Shanahan running back system where it was just we do a zone system.
If you can make one cut and then run very fast, hold the ball. Don't fumble the ball.
Then you'll get 100 yards. Yeah.
Seahawks and Patriots. Henry.
Yes. You will be golfing on Sunday? I will not be.
Oh, next Sunday. If no.
Oh, maybe. Yeah.
Can I?

Sure.

You can golf whenever you want.

Hank, if you feel like it's a good use of your time to golf during NFL.

Ryan Whitney and Paul Bissonette, friends of the program.

Great friends of the program.

Ryan Whitney, number two all time.

Number two all time.

In guest appearances, I believe.

It might be one.

I think he might be one. I think it might be one.

I think it might be one, too.

Or I think it's Bortles.

Bortles is one.

Okay.

But he hit me up.

He's going to be in Tower for Surviving Barstool.

He said he's trying to find some golf.

I said I could maybe help out, but I'll have to ask the boss men.

Okay.

So.

Yes.

Okay.

But this Sunday.

You don't like football.

I'll be locked in.

That's fine.

And the Patriots and Jets play Thursday night.

Exactly.

So you and memes.

Primetime.

Exactly.

You got to figure out a mirror's bet for that one.

Yeah.

How do you feel about this game?

I'm excited.

Have you thought about this game?

That should have been my first question.

Have you thought about.

Did you know you were playing the Seahawks?

Yes.

Have you thought about playing the Seahawks?

Not that much.

Okay.

So how do you feel.

The little bit that you have thought about it.

Thank you. Did you know you were playing the Seahawks? Yes.
Have you thought about playing the Seahawks? Not that much. Okay.
So how do you feel? The little bit that you have thought about it, how have you thought about it? I'm excited for this game. I'm a little bit confused.
I mean, the Dolphins are losing. The Jets are ass.
Like, I obviously went into the season expecting to be, you know, ass, bottom of the league, rooting for, you know, just looking at the lottery pick. Not lottery pick, it's NFL.
Yep. But.
You got it. You're new to the draft.
Rooting for a high draft pick. Yeah.
It's seven rounds. We're 1-0 now.
The AFC East is ass. Ass.
Bills? Well, maybe not ass. Well, the Bills are ass.
Well, I mean, it's. I mean, the Bills aren't ass.
The Jets are ass, and... I don't know if the Jets are ass yet.
I think we have to wait. You remember when we talked about not putting too much stock in Week 1? Yeah.
The Jets played the Niners. The Jets might be the perfect, perfect case for not putting too much stock in Week 1.
Yeah, I'd like to see the Jets play someone other than the 49ers. I'm excited for this game.
If the Patriots win, I'll probably be borderline all in. If they lose, I'll probably be going back to just golfing.
No, I'm not. I mean, if you guys were good, it'd be nice to have Judon on the team still, huh? Yeah.
Your defense is good. What does all in mean? Yeah, what does all in look like? Yeah.
Yoffs. And does it mean locked in on Sundays? Like excited for games? Yes.
I'll tell you exactly what all-in means for Hank. It means that he will watch every Patriots game until they lose.
Yeah. I was thinking the same thing.
And then he's all out. If you're all-in, like a loss.
If we're all-in, we're going for 10 wins. All-in means we're fighting, scratching, clawing for 10 wins in the playoffs.
No, all-in, you're upset about losses. I don't see a scenario this entire year.
Until, like, your fight actually in December, like, every game is a playoff game, you won't care when this team loses. I want to encourage this behavior, though, from Hank.
So if you win this weekend, you're all in? I just don't believe him. Look at his face.
I can't even really see it. It's horrible.
I went through this whole offseason and I'm just preparing. Being all out.

You were excited for a football season where you didn't really care about your team.

If you win this weekend and then you beat the Jets,

and then you beat the Jets, you're 3-0, you're all in.

Answer the question.

This is probably Hater Hank.

This is probably Hater Hank.

Hand up. Hater Hank.

As much as I want the Patriots to win, I just want to

be better than the Jets and the Dolphins.

That's a fair answer.

That gets me going.

I'm not going to lie, I thought you were going to say Commanders. No.
I thought you were going to say you wanted to be better. No, because if Drake May was playing, then it would be like, I want to be better than the Commanders and the Bears, but that doesn't really matter in this scenario.
Yeah, you just want to be better than at least two teams in your division. I do love...
With the most annoying fan bases, especially in this office and maybe the control booth. The rivalry that we have cooking right now is...
I'm just tickled watching how... Because I have it with Max.
Oh, no, no, no. I own Max.
That's not what the rivalry I was talking about. And I would love to have memes, too.
No, that's not the rivalry I was talking about. Between the Super Bowl.
The rivalry I'm talking about is we've been doing this podcast for eight plus years now.

We're a football podcast first and foremost.

Our fans are football guys.

They love football.

They're diehard football fans.

The rivalry of Hank not really caring about football versus our fans is so funny to me.

The Kent State Pittsburgh, people don't forget. Being all in and all out on week two of the NFL season, it's great.
Be yourself. Yeah, I always have been.
I always will be. I like you clarifying that if the Patriots aren't good, as long as you can be better than the Dolphins and the Jets, you will get satisfaction.
That's funny to me. That's an honest answer.
Hank isn't going to celebrate that hard if they win, but I actually think you celebrate Jets' losses harder than you celebrate Patriots' wins this year. Yeah, that's kind of what I'm saying.
Listen, guilty as charged when it comes to the Packers losing in the playoffs. That's a fact.
If the Bears stink, which they have for a long time, yeah, I get a lot of satisfaction. I get some sick satisfaction about the fact that I have six Super Bowls.
I have all the championships. I've kept the light.
I've led the team out of the tunnel. No, you rang a bell.
I kept the light. Where is it? Do you have it? Is it on right now? So they didn't let you keep it? No, but I kept it when I was there.
When I was there, I made sure that I kept i kept it uh and and then we have these jets and we have these dolphins fans that are just living and dying with every play every snap every game and talk about football fans to be better than them would just would be would be nice hank wants to be better than the people that care about their teams yeah yeah i get it yeah yeah that's that's hater hank and and and I know people are going to get mad hearing this, but it is what it is.

That's just how I feel.

Because you're like, I just show up, and they win,

and I don't even do anything, and it's awesome.

And you put your heart and soul into your teams, and you study,

you read articles about them during the week,

you know exactly what's going to happen, you know everybody's number,

even the offensive linemen, even the backup D-line that they switch

in and out of the games, and you care so much, and then they lose, and I don't have to deal with that because I'm a winner. Yeah.
Yeah. You're such an asshole.
You're so good at being an asshole. I was just going to say, you're so good at being an asshole.
Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I don't want to do it. No, no, no.
You have to go. It's good for your brand.
It's great. What you are doing right now is great for your brand of being the fucking worst.
You know what he is.

He's a meat shield for us.

No, it's great.

Hank is spoiled.

No shit.

You're so spoiled.

Yeah, city of champions.

What are you talking about?

So spoiled.

Okay, as for this game, the Seahawks played so bad in that first half against the Broncos,

and I think their defense is good.

Mike McDonald, I mean, he was a good defensive coordinator. I think he's going to be a really good head coach.
I do think that this is one of those games that the Patriots shocked everyone against the Bengals. This is a harder game because the Seahawks probably have a better game plan and can run the ball.
Yeah, when a team that's not that good but feisty starts to think that they're very good, that's when they're a good time to bet against those guys and the seahawks shut down the broncos run game so if you take out bo nicks scrambles the broncos ran for 3.2 yards uh 20 rushes for 64 yards the patriots need to run the ball to be able to control this game how they want to control it i think the seahawks defensive lines up for the challenge and the se seahawks probably aren't going to get two first half safeties i don't know i guess is i actually maybe not i'm not going to rule that out with the way those things happen and like calling a play action play in the end zone needs blocking i they might be the safety bet every single week yeah so i thought more about it and i think the perfect think the perfect, perfect thing to do for a safety instead of two points, which we agree is not enough points for a safety. Correct.
Give the ball to the offense on the one-yard line. Yeah.
Or to the other team. Give it to them on the one-yard line.
So if you get tackled in your own end zone, it's a turnover. The other team gets the ball on the one.
I think that's too much. On the five-yard line? I was saying the 20 saying the 20 no red zone start of the red zone i think is it worse you get three because i want it to be worth essentially five points but i want the off i want the other that would have to do something else with it i wonder what the someone has a nerd stat where like expected start at this yard line your expected points are this yeah let me see it's probably around the 25 or something um but okay i'm ready for that yeah i would like to also the seahawks are not going to have marshall lynch giving mike mc or uh mcdonald a massage on the side yeah uh okay next game pft yes giants commanders okay this is the maybe the game of the week i'm not i'm surprised that we don't have tom brady in the booth for this one um i'll give you some good news if you're a commanders fan okay manuel forbes is out oh that is good and he might go on ir but how bad is his backup to lose the job to manual for i think i don't think it's not it's not necessarily emmanuel forbes was better than the backup i think it was think it was we have to play Emmanuel Forbes to see if he can be good before we make a decision about him.
Got it. So he's got a thumb injury, and you can't play football with a bad thumb.
Yeah. So he's out.
Well, he couldn't play football with a good thumb. Yeah, he might be better than an injured thumb.
Yeah. I think it's a good thing that he's not playing.
I am scared of the Giants because the Giants always figure out a way to beat the Commanders, even when they're bad. I'm scared for you because I think the Commanders' defense might be one of the worst, if not the worst.
I think they might be the worst. Yeah.
Watching last week against the Bucs, it was a nightmare. There was no point in even trying to play.
It would be better if you just let them score immediately when they had the ball yeah this is this is a true ass ball where the team who loses this game if especially if they lose it significantly they're truly ass i'm gonna put the dun chain on the loser even if it's me yeah if the commanders lose this game the dun chain goes well a loss for you is different than a loss to the giants a loss for you you still have jayden daniels and you're like we're rebuilding a loss to the giants you're like we thought we'd be bad but we're worse. Yeah, we're worse than we thought.
And God damn it, that Giants, a loss for you, you still have Jaden Daniels, and you're like, we're rebuilding. A loss for the Giants, you're like, we thought we'd be bad, but we're worse.
Yeah, we're worse than we thought we were going to be. And God damn it, that Giants, I don't know why they allowed them to do hard knocks, but that clip is just going to live forever, where they were talking about, I think it was one of the Maras asking the GM, like, what are we going to do? What's our identity without Saquon? Yeah.
Like, we're going to go all in on Daniel Jones. He said, literally, I'm going to lose sleep if this guy goes to Philly.
Yeah. And then the GM said, we're going to build up our offensive line and say, this is the year, Daniel.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's not a good time to be a Giants fan. It's especially not a good time to be Daniel Jones because he's already starting up with the only people that matter are the people in this room those are the only ones i listen to that's early and maybe the worst sign for daniel jones was when brian dable announced that he was the starting quarterback this week that's not good for your starting quarterback yeah at the beginning of week one to have your head coach clarify for the media that you're starting yeah you're the starter we they just paid you a fuckload of money everyone thought you were the starter and brian dayball being like we're gonna give the ball to daniel this weekend no one asked no one asked but he is he's starting starter uh so you think you're gonna win i don't want to you don't want to pick because i don't want i don't want to pick because i would i would like to win so that way i can at least say we're not the worst team in the division but the giants Giants have a way of beating our ass.
Yeah. But Jaden Daniels, rookie of the week.
Rookie of the week. First of many to come.
That's huge. Okay.
Chargers to Panthers. I so badly want to bet the Panthers, but I can't because it's Harbaugh.
But I want to because I feel like I'm going to chase that all year. I'm not going to.
I'm not going to. I might.
Did you see? I might. Well, not necessarily just the Harbaugh effect, but also the Panthers effect.
The Panthers are so bad. The Panthers are so bad.
Hank, go ahead. How bad are they? How bad are they? Like a game show.
The Panthers are so bad. How bad are they? They did a 9-11 memorial post on Instagram, and some of the comments are as follows.
This team makes me wish I was on those planes. I won't forget how bad.
Or no, our situation is worse than theirs. Saddam Hussein would be a better defensive coordinator.
This post is still not safe. Every Sunday feels like I'm reliving 9-11.
Our tower has been collapsing since 2017. Never forget 9-8 when they lost the Saints.
Sir, a second Saints wide receiver has hit the end zone. You're so bad that your own fans are making 9-11 jokes in your comment section.
That's bad. You know what's worse? That's as low as it gets.
What's worse than 9-11, Big Cat? What? When Bryce Young goes 9-30. Oh.
When that's his completion. Yes.
Yes. I'm going to take the Chargers because I think they're just going to play man football.
We also have the Chargers. A reminder for next week, they're staying out east.
Okay, that's good to know. They're staying out east, and Jim Harbaugh say there's no reason why we can't have some fun, bring the board games and snacks.
There's no way they're going to have fun. That's fun.
What kind of board games do you think that Harbaugh plays? Is he a guess who guy? I don't know. I feel like he's just a straight up chess or checkers.
I think he's. Checkers.
You think checkers? I think he might be a risk guy. The game's taking like three days.
Everybody just gets bored and quits. Yeah.
And then he wins every time. Yeah.
We also had an all times Jim Harbaugh quote. He said, speaking about coaching, it was about five or six years ago.
My brother and I and dad were talking football, talking, and my brother said, hey, dad, how long do you go in coaching? How long do you coach in this game? And he said, and I never forget it, you go as long as you possibly can. You go and you coach till you cannot step on the field one more time, till you can't endure one more practice or put one more game plan together.

And when you come to that point, you coach for two more years.

I love that.

That's a great quote.

You play football, you coach football, then you die.

You have to be so sick of coaching and then you still do two more years of service.

Yeah, I respect that.

I respect that.

I need to know where they're staying out east too.

I could see Harbaugh taking them on a tour, like a history tour.

They're probably just, what's the West Virginia place?

Uh,

the green briar.

Yeah.

They're probably,

they're probably just staying there.

Right.

I could see him going on like a civil war battlefield tour,

staying East Chargers,

staying East.

They'll stay in Charlotte.

Okay.

Kind of boring.

Yeah.

Pretty boring answer.

All right.

Uh,

I,

I,

I want to say that Jaden Daniels,

he did win the rookie of the week. I think Joe Alt should have won it joe but that incredible that will never happen and i'm going to take the stand for offensive lineman because an offensive lineman will never win an award like that and they should joe alt and rashaun slater on both sides of herbert that's that's harbaugh's wet dream yeah he just knows like they can do what they want to do and they're going to shove it down the Panthers' throat.
Yeah, I think that's going to happen, and the Panthers have their best defensive player maybe out for the year. Yeah.
So I think it might get worse before it gets better. It couldn't be a more different vibes game between the two teams.
Like, the Panthers' vibes are as low as low gets. And the Chargers are like the new regime.

You know, going from Brandon Staley to Jim Harbaugh has to be just a complete shock to the system in a great way.

You can't get different than these two teams, organizations right now.

Yeah, very optimistic in L.A. right now.

Yeah.

Okay, next up, Browns and Jaguars.

Speaking of bad vibes, everyone hates Sean Watson. That was one of my notes.
David Njoku's out for the game. And a little quiz for you.
When was Deshaun Watson's last 300-yard game? His last 300-yard. He had one or two decent games last year, but I don't think he threw for 300.
So I'm going to go back a couple years and say 2021 so uh partial credit yes because it happened in 2021 it was a 2020 season so it was january 2021 that's why i said 2021 yeah but that is a long time that's a very long that's a long time he used to be so good he used to be incredible. He had that one season where he carried the Texans and was out of this world good.
I don't know what happened. Well, obviously a lot of stuff happened.
We do know what happened. But there's some stuff where physically he doesn't even look the same.
I think he just doesn't like football anymore. He's going to quit on this season, or the Texans, or sorry, the Browns will find a way out of this.
Something's going to happen. He used to be so good, and last Sunday he got sacked six times.
Guess how many of those sacks were on the offensive line by pro football focus? One. Zero.
Zero. They were all his fault.
They were all quarterback sacks. Damn.
and then there was a clip that went around of of one of his linemen not wanting deshaun to help him up did you see that yeah one of the linemen were on the ground after the play deshaun went up to him stuck his hand out the lineman batted his hand away and said no i can do it he just doesn't want deshaun touching him right it leads to bad things yes and deshaun watson yeah you't want him around I'm just looking it up right now I don't know where that hand's been um probably well no it's not his hands I think his hand is probably yeah no he's went a few places yeah yeah not a good guy uh yeah that 2020 season he threw for 4800 yards 33 touchdowns seven interceptions it's crazy pretty Pretty damn good. You could definitely make the case at that point that Deshaun Watson was a top five quarterback.
Yeah. And since that season, I know that he's been injured a bunch.
He has not thrown for over 1,500 yards. Yeah.
Okay. So I also, this game to me is, I love that we get to watch every game and see how every game flows because the Jaguars should have beaten the Dolphins, and I think you're getting them at a little bit of a price here because they lost.
That game was the Jaguars were winning that game. Etienne doesn't fumble.
They go up 24-7. That game's over.
Yeah. And it goes completely south on them, but I didn't walk away being like, man being like man the jaguars are bad no they did some funky shit in the second half they did some very jaguars they panicked yeah they did panic after the turnover i think that they looked good enough in the first half but are the dolphins good so when they look good against the dolphins are we counting that as the bills really good the bills might be really good yeah so uh I I do also like the Jaguars in this game yeah uh okay uh Raiders at Ravens I'll say this this is one time actually Jake should he should still do this for us uh I didn't know this maybe no one knew this Alexander Madison's wife went into labor before the game on Sunday yeah he.
He scored a touchdown. Yeah, we did not know that.

But wait, when was the baby born?

That night.

So after the game.

But he had, oh my God, my wife's in labor.

Yeah, technically this would be the first baby.

Yeah, this is the baby bump.

Because our theory is that everybody else in the locker room is pumped for the guy.

Yeah.

Especially if they're a new dad.

Yeah.

That's their first kid.

So if he had the baby after the game, then this week it's all, congrats on the baby.

I'm so happy that you got a baby.

Yeah.

Let's give you the rock.

Oh, let me see the baby.

You got dad strength now.

What'd you name the baby congrats on the sex yeah let me kiss the baby yeah all that shit kiss the baby bet yeah kiss the baby bet uh i do think the ravens though are going to play better than they did they it's crazy we walk away and the chiefs win that game and it really was a couple inches or an inch on isaiah likely's foot yeah the change because harbaugh is gonna go for two so there's a reasonable way that the ravens win that game if his foot is in bounds and we think about it completely different and we're like holy shit what a gutsy performance from lamar the ravens are still that team they just didn't have the result week one i think they are going to beat the raiders yeah i think they're going to spank them yeah and antonio pierce we like you but god damn that was the dumbest decision ever the punt was it looks even worse like with the light of day yeah after a couple days to think about it i've been thinking about that punt all week yeah and it just makes zero sense at all. Yep.
And as he's a new coach, he does not have a guy that's giving him

a... After a couple days to think about it, I've been thinking about that punt all week.
Yeah. And it just makes zero sense at all.
Yep. And he's a new coach.
He does not have a guy that's giving him advice on analytics. That much is clear.
Because if he did, that person probably resigned. Yep.
Because you're not being listened to at all in that case. Yep.
But it was really, really bad. Yeah.
And he should get somebody whose job is just to stand next to him and be like, use a here go for it here yeah that's that's the job yes get a nerd very simple find a nerd in las vegas just find anyone with glasses on yeah maybe maybe like david blaine he could probably figure it out anybody in las vegas that that is smart that likes numbers like david blaine could absolutely bend time yes have that person stand next to you and he's only allowed to say like five words. He doesn't have to talk.
He can just have a mat that's in front of him with five different options for buttons. Yeah.
And he pushes those. And then you look at the iPad.
Then you do that thing. He should actually make it even simpler for him.
It should be like when you go to Fogo de Chao and you have the coin that you flip over when you want meat or when you want to stop eating. Yeah.
just have a coin and the guy should just hand him like hey red side up red side up don't punt yeah green side up go yeah that's as simple as it could be or what was the chest scandal from a while ago the uh the butt plugs the anal beads yeah vibrating anal beads yeah when i hit those that should that should stimulate you yes yes go for it so i don't know if this is a record or not i think it might be the first time do we have a noise for weird stat alert uh yeah hank weird stat on the soundboard please nice okay so if antonio pierce and the raiders lose this week to the ravens i think he might become the first head coach in n NFL history to lose back-to-back games against brothers. Oh.
Oh. I can't think who else it could have been.
Well, it could have been the Harbaugh brothers. The Harbaugh brothers? Or were they...
Have they ever... Rob Ryan was never an interim coach, right? Oh, man.
I don't think he was. I wish he...
I would have bet the fuck out of him if he was yeah fuck we gotta find out if that's true I think it might be true the double brother loss the double brother loss never been done before he's been just bodied by the Harbaugh now the other question would be has it has a team ever played against two brothers in back-to-back weeks probably probably already making history yeah probably it's brother awareness month was there ever a time where the harbaugh's played each other and then the next week one the losing harbaugh made a terrible mistake and beat himself so he got beat by harbaugh back by himself yeah i don't know because like did jim harbaugh ever lose to john harbaugh then also lose to john harbaugh or jim harbaugh uh well jim harbaugh lost to John Harbaugh in the Super Bowl. Right, but I'm saying, you know what I'm saying, beat yourself.
What did he do week one after that? I don't know. He might have beat himself.
Might have beaten himself. Okay, that's a good stat.
Good weird stat. Afternoon slate, three games, Rams and Cardinals.
Rams injuries are bad. 2022 vibes.
Very bad naku out and also their line their entire line their line is probably like puka naku is the name that everybody knows but their line all being injured probably has a bigger impact they're signing guys off the street off the street off the street like homeless people off the street they're signing guys off the street that's concerning yes i Yes. I just love that saying.
Off the street. So, I don't know.
I can't trust the Cardinals' defense. Sean McVay does own the Cardinals, so we should at least note that.
Yeah. That's part of our trio in the NFC West.
I just feel like the Cardinals are healthier. Well, they know they're healthier.
And Kyler might be able to get something going. Yeah, when is the double XP weekend? October something, right? Okay, so we're way too early for that.
We've got to wait on that. And Marvin Harrison Jr., he will...
Welcome to the NFL, Marvin Harrison Jr. I think that's going to happen this week.
Yeah, well, after what happened last week target him any less correct they were saving him for this game correct i feel like maybe maybe the cardinals were saying the bills really good team buffalo tough environment to play in they're going to sacrifice somebody to the pit before the game probably lose that game anyways but divisional game now let's actually try to win yeah and let's throw the ball to Marvin Harrison Jr. a couple times.
Yes. Yes.
Agreed. Steelers or Broncos? I'm mad.
I'm mad about this game. Why? Because Russell Wilson's not playing.
Yeah. And I really wanted to see Russell Wilson against the Broncos.
I do. If you're a Steelers fan, I think you should be happy, though.
Why? I think Russell Wilson would have tried so hard to do a revenge Thing that he would have fucked it up He would have made a big revenge game spectacle He would have tried so hard to be like This is my moment to stick it to Sean Payton That he would have fucked up And it would have been a bad situation That might be true So I think you're better off with Justin Fields I want to take the Broncos simply because of the, you know, go against yourself

week one, switch it up.

Also, mile high, when it's still

hot, is always a tough place to play.

I just don't understand how Bo Nix

is going to survive against the Steelers defense.

Yeah, Bo Nix,

I regret saying that he might be the next

up Jameis Winston.

He was funny when he played. I'm not

saying that he's going to have the spectacular highs

that Jameis gives you. Yeah, he doesn't push it

down the field like Jameis doesames but in a slapstick type of way watching him play quarterback is very funny to do correct and just watch how he like tries to run around throw across his body that part is still funny to me you're probably right about about russell wilson trying too hard he definitely he would probably have some weird video he would yeah they would show when they go to the game like, like Russell Wilson actually was here fully padded at 6 a.m. Running around the field.
It would have been very funny for him after the game to talk about what a great welcome the Denver Broncos fans gave him. It was a great homecoming.
It's just to see the guys that rooted for me and be able to thank them for everything they did for me while I was a fan. That would have been 100% a lie.

I wanted to see that, though.

I wanted to see him try too hard as an outsider.

If you're a Steelers fan, probably a good thing.

Yes.

But for the rest of America, we wanted that comedy of the revenge game.

Correct.

Okay, so big game, afternoon game.

This one will be, obviously, the sound.

Bengals at Chiefs.

Bengals got to figure it out. I worried though about joe burrow yeah so the video of him trying to pick up a water bottle went around um i think he well he's i know that he's saying that it's not a big deal i think it's a big deal i think joe burrow is a tough guy and he wants to play and he was so competitive that he's like i'm not going to miss the first couple games of the season.
I think it's fair to say that he's not healthy. And it's more – so his wrist and his arm might feel okay.
I don't know if mentally he trusts it yet, because watching back some of that game, some of the tape – no big deal, we watch tape on this show. He was a check down king.
He actually was third ranked lowest in the NFL on Sunday or on week one with throws going to the sticks, so 27.6. He basically was just checking down.
I think he just doesn't trust it yet. Like there were some plays, I was watching this one play that people were breaking down where Jamar Chase had a one-on-one on the outside, and he had a clean pocket.
All he had to do was wait a couple seconds, and he had just predetermined he was going to check it down. And so it's not as much that he might – it might not be that his wrist is so fucked he can't make throws.
I think he just is not ready for the game speed yet i think he will be there eventually unfortunately they have to go up against the chiefs and that is a big tall task and you have chris jones coming down your throat and the chiefs know that he is not 100 there and if joe burrow can't throw it deep and take those shots it's just different i think i'm gonna he also has always been a little bit of a slow starter and always started in this way, so it could also just be that. I disagree with you that it's mental, not physical.
I think it's physical. No, I – So the only reason I'm saying mental is because I – when Joe says that he's good, I trust that he's saying that in good faith.
I do think there's some physical part, but I think there's also the mental part of – it happened with like Kirk Cousins where when you come back from an injury and you get thrown into a live NFL game it's going to look different than it did in preseason which I don't even think Joe Burrow played uh or practice it just is different no but I think it's I think it is 100 physical and that when Joe Burrow says he's good he knows he's not good and he's pissed off that he's not good. He was flexing it a lot, too.
Yeah, but he doesn't want to say, like, I'm not feeling good because that would be making an excuse. Yeah, no, he's a fucking tough ass.
I think that if it was physically good, he would, like, Joe is so mentally tough that he would just be like, I'm not worried about it. Let's just play football.
Yeah. And I don't think that he can't play football 100%.
So I don't know. I want to see Joe play good this year.

I want to keep the narrative of Burrowhead going.

Yeah.

It would be fun if he went into Kansas City and won.

They also gave the Chiefs a little bit of Bolton board material.

Oh, no.

You see that?

I love doing that.

Oh, the Xavier Worthy?

Yeah.

So Taylor Britt said on Xavier Worthy, he's got speed.

That's about it.

He can run straight, run jet sweeps, and just run straight. He can't do too much else.
So that's about it. That's bulletin board.
That is bulletin board. I also don't fully disagree if you're just basing it off his first game because we were victim to this.
We're like, Xavier Worthy's not fair. He had that big end around run.
Yep. And he had the play where the Ravens just didn't play defense on what looked like a wheel round.
I don't know what it was, but there was just no one even close to him. It's not like he caught 10 balls and had 150 yards.
He caught two balls and had 47 yards, and I think 30 of them were on that one play. So 35 of them were on that one play.
So I do think Xavier Worthy, I think that's bulletin board material. Yeah.
I also don't think it's totally wrong yet. Also, if he can just run straight really fast, that's a pretty good thing to combine with Patrick Mahomes.
That is good. And on the end of round, if you're like .01 seconds slower, you don't score that touchdown.
You get tackled. It was a great run.
Here's my thought starter for you. If Xavier Worthy was on any other team and had his stat line from week one, would anyone care? No, he'd be a speed merchant.
Right. That's kind of my point.
It's not that he's not good. It's just that because he's on the Chiefs and he's so fast and we saw it, everyone's like this is not fair.
This is not right. Well, there's another Right.
It's because he replaced Kadarius Toney. True.
So it's a big, big upgrade. That's the biggest upgrade ever.
He's not. I think he's good.
I just think we're more pissed that the Chiefs have a weapon, another weapon. Yes.
And Taylor Britt should update this and say he can't do too much else. He can run straight and be better than Kadarius Tony.

Yeah.

So he's a two-headed monster.

And then everyone would nod in the locker room and be like,

yeah, he's actually right. That's very right.

Yeah.

Okay.

We have Sunday Night Football to wrap it up.

Bears-Texans will be streaming.

I'm very nervous about this game.

Mm-hmm.

Here's what I've done because everyone does this as fans.

You do mental gymnastics, try to figure out a path to victory how it's going to work uh the one thing that I have uncovered is that we talked about meatloaf to Vandre sweat for the Titans absolute monster the Texans don't have a to Vandre sweat in terms of the middle of uh the interior defensive line shouldn't be as big of a problem as it was against the Titans, and that's where the Bears had a lot of trouble blocking. So I'm hoping Caleb Williams doesn't have those plays where there is a 350-pound man jumping on top of him within half a second of the ball being snapped.
Yeah, and when he spins, he should spin away from the person and not just stop. Do we need a defensive touchdown and maybe a special teams touchdown to win this game? Yeah, maybe.
I'd take it. Or if they punted every first down.
I'd take it. Then you could win that game, too.
I'd take it, but yeah, I think this is going to be a very interesting game to see where everything's at. All right, walk me through this, Big Cat.
I know you'll be happy with a win regardless. No matter what.
You tell me. Okay, let me ask you a hypothetical.
Taking out injuries, win, no matter what. Okay, hypothetical.
Yeah. Would you rather the Bears win and Caleb Williams, he throws for 90 yards passing.
Caleb Williams runs for 17 yards with a fumble. And he's got an interception, no touchdown was the fumble was he hit on the fumble no it was like it was like it was like jalen hurts in the super bowl okay just slips and shit they run it the other way okay uh would you rather that or caleb throws for 350 yards and the bears lose 20 to 32 i would take the win.

Take the win over progression from the quarterback. Yeah, because the progression will come.
Winning games is the best. I don't care how it happens.
If there's two games in a row, without 100, then now we're talking narrative. But what you just said, so I was actually almost with you until you said 32, and then I'm like, then that means the defense stinks.
It's a weird score. you could delete but the thing that i was i was feeling most confident in is now not a source of confidence and now i'm questioning everything get me to 2-0 okay let me change get me to 2-0 what if uh caleb throws for 350 yards a touchdown no interceptions and you guys lose 7 to 10 350 yards touchdown no interceptions 7 to 10 i no interceptions, 7-10.
I still want to win. You probably have kicking issues.
I still want to win. 2-0 would be awesome.
Were you going to say something, Max? Would you take 2-0? Yeah, I'll take 2-0. Yeah.
I want 2-0. I want 2-0.
I want my quarterback to have a good game too. I do.
Best world, best case scenario, both case scenario, both things happen. Both things, yeah.
Yeah, that would be awesome. Correct.
But if he doesn't have a great game, having a win is a nice consolation prize. Yep.
It's actually the main prize. What's fun is at that point, if he has some stinky games and you guys win, then you can just be like, he's a winner.
Yeah. He's got like Jimmy Garoppmy garoppolo it's also if if he doesn't play well on sunday night and we use defense and special teams to win the game it's no different than the bears entire history yeah of everything that's true he's just a perfect bears quarterback he's just a turbocharged rex gross the best game manager you could have i think he's gonna play better though i really do uh Roma Dunge, right? I believe he is out.
I don't think he's officially been ruled out, but it doesn't look like he's going to play, which stinks. Alright, so the touchdown parlay.
I screwed it up last week, then we'll get to our picks. I screwed it up last week.
I had Dalton Kincaid who did not score, so I'm out. So what we're going to do is we're going to do three picks.
I'm out because I lost. If you guys win, all three win, we go to the next week.
So we want people to win. And if one of you loses, then you're out.
If two of you lose, we'll figure out how to do it. But go right now to DraftKings.
DraftKings has you set up. They have not one but two special offers to AWLs who want to bet the PMT parlay this week.
First, DraftKings giving all customers a no-sweat touchdown bet for each football day this week. That means you'll get a bonus bet back if your touchdown bet doesn't hit.
Second, any customer who chooses to use their no-sweat touchdown bet on our four-to-score parlay, which is now three-to-score, will also receive a profit boost. So head to the app now to claim those offers.

We're going to have the parlay up.

Hank goes up Friday night, so you have all weekend to bet it.

I'll bet it.

I'm going to ride with the boys.

I'm going to be out, but I'm going to ride with the boys.

I also will have big cap parlay, which is 1-0, no big deal, plus three units.

Okay, Hank.

Going Tony Rich. Tony Rich.
Anthony Richardson. Okay.
Hank. Going Tony Rich.

Tony Rich.

Anthony Richardson.

Okay.

Good.

Good.

To score a touchdown.

I like that. Score a touchdown.

Anthony Richardson.

Okay.

I'm not going to make any comments because I can't because I lost.

No, please do.

It worked last week.

I'm not going to make any comments.

But if you were going to make comments, you would say.

I can't believe that the Falcons scored one touchdown and it was to Kyle Pills. It's crazy.
It's crazy. All right, Tony Rich.
I like that. Tony Rich on the board.
All right. I'm going to stick with my...
What was that? No, I want to go quarterback two, and I'm nervous about going two quarterbacks. Oh, who are you going to take? I'll let PFT go.
Well, you just made a noise when I started to go. No, I just started to stress because that stresses me.
No, you made a noise. to go no i want you to go i want you to go go you go first no you go i i'm not gonna talk i want you to go i'm done nope i want you to go everybody get mad at max for ruining the podcast get mad at max you know i'm i'm fine i'll go fuck it i'll go jayden you ruined the podcast jay ruined the podcast.
Jaden Daniels. Good pick.
That's good. There you go.
Great pick, Max. I like it.
You brought the podcast back. Giants defense sucks.
Great podcast. Jaden Daniels.
Run the ball to Jaden Daniels for a touchdown is a great play. It's a great play.
It's a great play. I actually, I like Daniel Jones to score in this game.
Okay. He plays really good.
Are you going to do both? No, we can't do three quarterbacks. No, that's not my pick.
I'll give you my actual pick. But bonus pick, Daniel Jones.
Okay. But my real pick is J.K.
Dobbins. Ooh.
So my formula is take a running back on a team that's playing against the Carolina Panthers. I like that.
And it was good in week one, and I think it'll be good in week two. Okay.
All right, so bet on DraftKings. They'll have that up.
And like I said, the no sweat bet is there as well. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER.
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Okay, let's do our picks. So the four weddings and a funeral picks.
Which, have we thought about it more? Someone did throw out that we should do a bachelor party. I don't know if any of us could survive.
Or I don't know if PFCI could survive. Well, the problem is...
That's what's exciting. All right, should we do this? That's what's exciting.
Well, here's the problem. The funeral is a bad idea.
I'll speak for myself. Why? Because we don't.
How do you schedule that? What if we did an... What if the loser had to do just life? So they had to go to...
Oh, my God. A birth of a baby.
Maybe a quinceañera. The funeral is bad.
No funeral. I'm down for all of this except for funeral.
Oh,, if we're going we gotta go with the full circle. The life would be incredible.
Imagine loser has to do life. How about this? We can't do funeral.
How about this? A 50th birthday party? A bachelor party? A wedding? I had to go to their funeral. A divorce proceeding? A divorce proceeding.
We can't do funeral. Okay.
The problem with the bachelor party would be I would want to do things on the bachelor party that I should not be doing in front of AWL the problem with the bachelor party is we just basically produce blackmail on ourselves and if we didn't do stuff to produce blackmail, then they'd be like, what a snooze. I can't believe this guy came to the bachelor party and didn't have any fun.
I think we could do it if we just said no phones for the bachelor party. People would be so pissed if Hank or I lost.
Yeah. Or memes.
I bet Max would be fun on a bachelor party. Max would be great on a bachelor party.
If it was a golf trip, Hank would be in a good mood. All right, so we'll figure it out.
But I do think there's something there with... I had a lot of people hit me up and they were like, it would be an honor to go to my funeral.
Yeah, me too. But I think in the sake of a bet, you guys having to go to a bachelor party because you don't want to is the entire point.
I also had a lot of people hit me up and be like, thank God somebody thought that that was a bad idea. I had a lot of people hit me up saying that was a great idea.
I heard the other one. He doesn't realize that death is part of life.
Alright, so we'll evolve it. But I think we're on to something.
It's going to be something like that. Can we all agree? Whether it be a wedding and a bachelor party, maybe a birth of a baby, a quinceanera.
Life would be awesome. What about, I know it's hard.
What if we had to go to a birthday party of every age? I know it's hard because it's right in between 99 days. A high school graduation.
I know it's hard because it's right in between the masters. A Division I college graduation.
Yes. For like 7,000.
Wait, Division I college graduation? This is just so many things. Or like a state school graduation.
It would be funny if we could move somebody into college. Like we're the dads.
Like we show up on campus with a truck full of shit. We help them load up their dorm room.
That's what I'm saying. Just do life.
That's too many things. We could pare it down.
Okay, what about this? What if we probably have some high school AWLs, right? You think? Okay. So if you lose, you have to commit to somewhat adopting that kid for the rest of their life.
I can't take another kid. I can't have another kid.
So you have to go to their high school graduation. No, I can't have another kid.
You have to help them move into college. You have to go to their wedding when they get married.
I can't have another kid. You have to be there after they have their first child.
I can't have another kid. And then they're for their funeral.
God forbid. That would be fine.
Because then you would develop a relationship and it would actually be... I'm out on that.
All right. And then when they die, you go to their funeral? Yeah.
Then I would go to a funeral. If it felt like I was going because it was out of respect and not out of a punishment.
Not just for vibes. All right.
All right. We got to figure this out soon because somebody is going to start to fall behind.
By next week. By next week, we'll have a lot of questions.
By next week. I'll put my – I'll think about some stuff.

All right.

So I think Max, PFT, and Hank all went 2-0. I went 1-1.
I went 1-0. I went 1-1.
Oh, and Memes went 0-2. So, Max, you have first pick? Do I? Yes.
Because Hank went first last time? No, Memes went first last time. Okay i am going to take the seattle seahawks minus three and a half against the new england patriots oh nice hank doesn't even care doesn't i think that was like at all i think that lines too i think the patriots still fucking suck okay all right uh i am going to take my indianapolis colts minus three right.
I am going to take my Indianapolis Colts minus three. Okay.
Okay. I'm going to take someone's Jacksonville Jaguars minus three.
Jaguars, kid. What? You taking the Browns? Yep.
Oh, do it. Do it.
That's stinky. I like it.
Yeah. Do it.
The Jaguars are stinky. Why? Well, you didn't watch the games on Sunday.
I did. I was sitting next to you.
It was on the same time the Patriots were playing. The Patriots, I couldn't even fucking watch the games.
Small TV. Gave us the fucking...
Small TV. Okay.
22 inches of screen. It was the R.
Kelly TV. The Jaguars just blew that.
They absolutely choked that game away. They have no business being a three-point favorite.
I'm not disagreeinging with you whatsoever but i don't think they're that and deshaun watson has has the tools has as we just went over yeah which one tool he has arm talent yep does he yeah we just yeah we just went used to arm didn't look that good last week it's somewhere in there It's somewhere in there. Somewhere in there.
Is it a snake? Yeah. I'm going to go.

I have the. Yeah, we just went through it.
You, Sue, arm didn't look that good last week. It's somewhere in there.
It's somewhere in there.

It's somewhere in there.

Is it Snake?

Yeah.

I'm going to go.

I have the Browns plus three against the Jaguars.

Excuse me.

And then I am going to take the under in the New York Giants-Washington Commanders game under 43.

Nice.

It's not your pick.

Snake.

It is Snake.

Oh, it's memes.

Got it.

Steelers minus two and a half, and then the under in the Giants'

commander.

Nice memes.

That was huge memes.

Huge.

All right.

I'm going to take the over in the New York Giants-Washington

commanders game over 43.

I love it.

I love it, Hank.

That's a good move.

That's a spite move.

Why do you like that over, Hank? Just two dynamic quarterbacks, explosive offenses. Don't lump me in with Danny Dimes.
What do you mean? They're high-flying quarterbacks. High-flying quarterbacks.
High-flying quarterbacks. All right, I'll take the over in the senior.
I shouldn't have done that. Saints-Cowboys, 46 and a half.
That was dumb. Okay.
That's a fun over to take. 43 is so many points for that game.

I thought about that one.

High-flying, Hank.

It's an impossible amount of points.

High-flying.

That was a throwaway.

I just threw away a pick.

Hank, think about it this way.

Pick sixes.

That helps.

Yeah.

That was dumb.

Okay.

That's all right.

You know what?

I'm going to take the over on that game because Hank thinks it's so dumb.

No, he's got it.

Oh, you're saying in person.

Just saying in real life, yeah. All right, so your last pick.
I'm going to Jags over on that game because Hank thinks it's so dumb. No, he's got it.
Oh, you're saying in person. Just saying in real life, yeah.

All right, so your last pick.

I'm going to Jags-Browns over 41.5.

Okay.

I don't think that Deshaun is going to be as bad as he was last week.

I hope.

And then I think that the Jags, again, kind of a fluky game that they gave up last week.

Yeah.

And they're at home.

Yep.

Home opener.

Yep.

I believe in Duvall.

And Hank thinks they stink. Hank thinks they stink yeah yep okay uh i took such a stinky under last time i'm gonna try and go with a fun over this time i love that about you just get fun with it yep i'm gonna go lions bucks over 51 and a half lions bucks over that is a fun one yeah it's a lot of very funny A lot of points.
But 51.5. Lions Bucks over 51.5.
That is a fun one. That is very fun.
A lot of points. But fun.
Okay. All right.
So those are our picks. We'll figure out.
We'll nail down the punishment for next week. Let's do Fantasy Fuck Boys before we get to Brooks Koepka and Taylor Gooch.
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What's up, boys? What's up? What's up, you fuck? It's Von Trappio Arrivederci. Hey, Von Trappio.
My stardom this week. The Pac-12.
Yeah. Yeah.
All the way back. Who are the teams? Merging with the Mountain West.
Yeah. Boise State.
Bunch of other Mountain West teams.

Yeah, all those Mountain West teams.

Get it.

The teams you don't want to watch when you got a golf outing on Saturday.

The Pac-12 is all the way back.

That's a fact, Jack.

I sit them.

Eating dogs.

Eating dogs.

Don't eat dogs, people.

Don't eat it.

Pet them.

Max, you hear that?

Yeah, Max.

Fuck.

Max.

Yeah.

I know you want to fucking eat some dogs. Max would eat a dog.
God knows you don't want to pet him No, I love dogs You can't even fucking say it Make that dog a meatball and Max would eat it all day I got a good friend that likes eating cats His name's Steven Che Sleeper He does, he loves eating pussy You were sleeper. You were racist.
You were racist. Wow.
I didn't say that. Wow, he was making a pussy.
Very, very. You idiot.
Very racist, man. Holy shit.
My friend, my uncle Junior loves. You might be part Haitian.
Oh. Hey.
My sleeper is Josh Allen's pistachio farm. Oh.
Did you guys see this? Did you guys read about this? No, I didn't see it. I didn't read about it.
I saw it on the big screen on the television during the game. He's got a pistachio farm.
I don't even know what the fuck that means. I love it.
I remember hearing about that. He was doing an interview on Part of My Take, and he talked about that pistachio farm.
I want to go. Thanks for listening to Part of My Take.
Great podcast. Okay.
Is that it? Yeah. All right.
All right. Hey, what's up, guys? My name is Shinona Sharpie Shinona Sharpie I'm starting And this week I'm sitting Hey papi Oh papi And my sleeper is Jon Bon Jovi.
Great guy. Yeah.
Saved somebody from jumping off a bridge. Hey, Dom.
What's up, guys? My name's DiCaprio Boodle. Hey, Boodle.
My stardom is the Los Angeles Chargers because they just signed me off the practice squad, to our practice squad. Let's go, Boodle.
That's actually my name, DiCaprio Boodle. My sit- My sit-em is the Texans.
Boodle, Boodle, Boodle rocking everywhere. My sit-em is the Texans' defense.
They don't know what they're going to get. Caleb Williams is going to throw for over 100 yards.
Over 100. Over 100.
He's joined the three-digit club. I'm putting my personal guarantee on 100 yards plus.
There we go. And my sleeper.
He's going to be like Will Chamberlain after the game holding that sign up. Yeah, 100.
My sleeper is Antonio Brown's Twitter account because he's being run by a random white dude from UCF. Like the.
No shit. What was obvious call? Yeah, it was obvious, but it's funny seeing the guy's picture.
Cracker of the day. Yeah.
Oh, that guy. Aurs.
That guy liked to say the N-word. Yeah.
And the F-word. Yeah, so that came out.
Yeah. And then the account that tweeted out clarified after like an hour, I just talked to Antonio Brown.
It is actually him doing it. That's just his manager that helps run the social media.
Got it. He curates.
So it's a legend. It's all a legend.
It's all a legend i'm gonna i'm gonna go on a limb and say that it is the guy from ucf that does it's very funny because we all thought it and then it was obvious we it was very obvious but it was also like there's no way some white dude's running this because someday we're gonna find out that it was a white dude running this and then we might have found out that it was a white dude running it today yeah this makes me look at ctesbn is not a trusted news source anymore does he keep tweeting yeah he has yeah oh okay so he's got a power i think that's the right move because if you stop then everyone's it's you're guilty we need to you don't then you can just always be like yeah it was antonio brown all along i was gonna say we need to run it through one of those like ai language analyzers but i don't think that i that would probably just break the ai machine trying to analyze antonio brown's thoughts yeah i'd agree yeah i'd agree uh all right let's get to brooks kepka and taylor gooch yep before we get into brooks and taylor it's brought to you by our good friends over at chevy there's a reason why we've never done the Mount Rushmore pickup trucks. That's because there's only one, and that's Chevy.
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That would be the Chevy Silverado. The interview is also being brought to you by the farmer's dog.
Blake just had the farmer's dog for breakfast this morning. He had the farmer's dog for dinner.
He had the beef. He had the beef flavor.
We're on a beef kick right now. He also loves the turkey, loves the chicken.
Stella's been on it for a long time. Yes.
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I get a shipment of farmer's dog, I put it in the freezer, and I take it out, and I cut it open, and I just squeeze that plastic tube out. That food that's in there, that's Blake's meal.
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Just go to thefarmersdog.com slash PMT, get 50% off at thefarmersdog.com slash PMT. And now,'s Brooks Koepka and Taylor Gooch.
Okay. We now welcome on a long time recurring guest, a nominee for Blake of the year.
And then we also have a new guest, Taylor Gooch in the studio, Liv Guys. Welcome.
I was going to ask the first question to be about Blake of the the year but i think that probably is going too hard too fast uh taylor i was my first question for you was your last name um it's pretty memorable yeah i mean it's just kind of the elephant in the room like i mean i i don't know why i have a first name yeah you're just you're just the gooch just the Gooch. It's not a bad golf nickname because it means that you're always close to the hole.
Hey, I don't think you can say anything that I haven't heard already on the golf course. Yeah.
What point were you like, oh, was it like 10, 11 years old? You're like, oh, this kind of sucks. I feel like maybe like in a movie or something, they said Gooch when I I was 10.
I'm like, hold on a second. What are they talking about? And then you quickly learn what they're talking about.
Yeah, because that had to be a big life-changing moment where you live your first 10 years being like, oh, my life's totally normal, Gooch. And then the minute it clicks, well, this kind of changes everything.
Correct. Correct.
But, hey, like I said, it's memorable. Yeah.
And also in your defense, like, I mean, you're a professional golfer. So it's like you're kind of beating everyone else because that's golf.
Being a professional golfer, the one sport that it feels like all these dudes play late in their life and being better than all of them, that's got to rock. It does until it doesn't, and then everybody beats you,

and you're like, well, I suck now, which has happened a few times this year.

I mean, it's a humbling game, but it is nice going back home with the boys

and cracking a few cold ones and kind of beating them with one hand, basically.

Yeah, right.

Do you still golf for fun?

Soberly? No. Yeah, smart answer.
Correct answer. with one hand basically yeah right do you still golf for fun uh soberly no yeah yeah yeah correct answer yeah it's practice yeah because it is the it is the one thing that i think most people i'd say like 50 or 60 percent of adult at least adult males that have good jobs they do your job as their vacation yeah they plan their entire vacations around what your job is so so one of my good buddies uh is uh the catcher for the phillies his name is jt real mudo we grew up together and we have a bunch of buddies back home that are still tight and we still get together in the off seasons and stuff and for years the uh the debate was who's got the better gig the baseball player or the golfer and i always used to say dude like when was the last time you paid for a flight? Yeah.
When was the last time, like, you carried your bags? Like, when was the last time you went over and your game check wasn't there? But then his argument was always, dude, people work their whole lives to be able to retire and do what you do for a living. I'm like, yeah, that's kind of true.
Yeah. That's true.
JT Real Muto's in my fantasy league, or I'm in his fantasy league.

Yeah.

I got to talk some shit.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to give me some dirt on him.

Yeah.

I got you.

Okay.

For later.

We'll talk after.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, being a professional golfer, yeah, that is like everyone's – feels like everyone's

dream.

I wonder, does podcaster go in there at all?

No.

I'm watching football all day.

Yeah, the watching football part.

Brooks is kind of jealous of us.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He texts every now and then being like, I kind of wish i was just sitting in the gambling cave yeah that's one spot i do wish i was on saturdays and sundays yeah there are a few people that work for the company where their their primary job is just to sit down on live streams and watch games yeah and those people yeah that's that's a great that's the best job dave's just gotta hire me yeah have any history? No, no. Yeah.
Perfectly fine. Everything good there? We got to talk about the big elephant in the room.
Your Blake of the Year performance this year was abysmal. No-showed.
There's a lot of people out there like, does he want it? Is he invested in this? Now, in your defense, every single time we do Blakeake of the year you are somewhere abroad yes which doesn't help but a lot of questions and wondering if you if your heart's still in it i set out when i woke up that day i was ready i was ready to answer the phone and then there was i don't know 15 tequila shots in between then and then somehow forgot about my phone don't even know where it was yeah yeah yeah it was a pretty poor performance i might i might argue on your behalf though because one could make the argument that that's the most blake move of all time to get so drunk during blake correct that's what i forget about blake of the year exactly this is our barrett robbins moment when the remember when the guy on the raiders like went to tijuana right before the soup bowl and just got drunk and pissed off yeah that's what you did in this case that's what i did yeah next year's my redemption year it's like bortles and griffin the kind of a try hard move true being right ready to answer their phone and get hop on the zoom call immediately true they're quick too yeah yeah um the one thing i think we had to wait like three four days before i even remotely looked at my phone again. Yeah.
Yeah. Before I responded.
Yeah. The thing you have going against you is that your name's not actually Blake.
So if, I don't know if you could say that like if you're not a Blake and you're partaking in this type of extreme Blake behavior, like are you, is that Blake appropriation? Ooh, that's a good point. Might have to legally change it.

You'll have a chance, yeah.

Actually, if you did, you wouldn't even have to tell anybody. You'd just go to the courthouse and do that on your own, and then you just have a certified document that says that your name is officially Blake Koepka.
We'll keep it in here. Yeah, we'll keep it in here.
You have another kid named Blake. That's true.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Are you getting excited for the President's Cup? um

I don't know

it's like two weeks from now. Yeah.
I want to say like the 20th sometime around that. Is that when it is? Yeah.
Okay. There's a two on it.
Somewhere in the 20s. Okay.
Who decides you guys can't be in it? The tour. the tour runs the president's cup yes i think the pga tour actually does run the president's now i don't want to give you any tips scooch but you need to make a big stink about it being like this is bullshit because i would have been in it you'd be like they're holding me back you're basically getting you can just put an asterisk yeah you can argue that yeah yeah yeah you know i don't like causing any chaos or anything so i'll just let them do their thing that's a good headline though gooch makes big stink yeah he did yeah the asterisks yeah throwing asterisks everywhere so wait do you think they're going to change that it feels like they're going to change it but i don't know i feel like they're you're on the rider cup yeah i mean i feel like over like two years from now i think we'll all be laughing about this and i'll be playing somewhere it might be a live versus pga tour thing yeah that's what it could be, so we'll see.
Yeah, I mean, I feel like over like two years from now, I think we'll all be laughing about this and I'll be playing somewhere.

It might be a Live vs. PGA Tour thing.

Who knows what it could be, so we'll see.

Yeah, I mean, there is a merger in place, right?

Isn't there?

Yeah.

A framework?

Yeah, yeah.

I heard that.

First, I heard there was an outline, and then I heard that there was a framework, and then I heard.

There's a bunch of deadlines that come and go.

Yeah, we got to hit the deadlines and then miss a couple deadlines.

Yeah, yeah.

Do you know where there's another one? Have you heard anything as players in the live tour of where this framework is right now no or any of the points from the framework have you looked around like it could be in the locker room somewhere it could framework yeah you never know framework in the room with us right now yeah might be might be a few frames maybe maybe the big sticking point is whether or not you guys can wear shorts oh that seems like a non-negotiable to me do you guys like the shorts it's so much nicer well you do look ridiculous i mean i always look ridiculous yeah but it does like there's something about golf where it's like why are these guys wearing shorts it you should play golf in shorts but for some reason because we're so so conditioned to watching guys in pants when you see the shorts like this is not what's is not what's going on here. Yeah, make you mouse golf.
Yeah, but it does it has to like, how many strokes does it affect being in shorts? I'd say at least two. Really? Yeah.
Gooch? I mean, it affects Gooch. Yeah.
It bunches you up. Yeah.
I mean, hey, when you're in places like Singapore and you are sweating your nuts off, it is a game changer. Yeah.
I imagine. Because I don't think I've ever, unless it was like raining outside or 50 degrees, I don't think I would ever wear shorts.
Or excuse me, ever wear pants on a golf course. It's always shorts.
You don't even want to play when it's 50 degrees and raining. Yeah.
Yeah. Wait, so, Brooks, why can't we win a Ryder Cup on the road? That's a good question.
It's kind of tough. I mean, I did lose, what, 9-8? Wait, I thought you won the last.
I lost my one match with Scotty Scheffler, the best player in the world. Yeah.
And we both no-showed. 9-8, it was a quick exit.
I spent a bunch of time on the couch drinking. Okay.
But then on that i feel like you came back yeah yeah i did on sunday you and max basically just tried to protect america yeah max max led the led the charge yeah but is it is it really that different like playing on the road in the right because it feels like it just flips back and forth whoever has home i don't think it is i mean two teams somebody's got to win yeah obviously home field advantage probably a little bit but i don't know i don't think it's anything I mean, two teams. Somebody's got to win.
Yeah. Obviously, home field advantage probably a little bit, but I don't know.
I don't think it's anything. Yeah.
Do you guys talk about it before the matches? Do you have a team meeting where you go over strategy? Like, hey, we need to be good today at golf. Yeah.
Yeah, we definitely have a few meetings. It's just sometimes you think you might be playing with one guy, and then all of a sudden it switches up.
You never know what's going to happen. But there's no, like, pump-up speech in the locker room.
No, and there's no rah-rah speech. We're not, you know, headbutting guys doing stuff like that.
That would be kind of cool. Maybe that's what we're going to change.
We could start that in New York. Get Saban in there, yeah.
Coach O from Ryder Cup. Yeah.
Was there any point when the whole, like, was it the hat controversy? Was it a hat? Yes. Yeah.
Yes, the no hat. Was there any point where you're like, I'm ready to fight? Like, we're going to go fist fight this thing out? I couldn't believe it.
I didn't even know what was going on. I think I was back in the locker room just chilling and then getting in the car, and all of a sudden everybody said that Rory had a lot of pull-me-back energy.
Yeah, he did. Yeah, with the hat.
He was upset. That's such a golf thing, how'd this fight start one guy had his hat

that's sports in general

golfers you have no chance of fighting

I mean there has been some beef

but you did squash the beef

there's no more beef at all with Bryson

you guys are going to be teammates right

in the match against Rory and who

I don't know

he might be in prison

Rory and Scotty

hopefully he's not arrested on the way to the course. So Rory and Scotty versus you and Bryson.
So it's safe to say that the beef is way over and gone with between you and Bryson. Yeah, we're done.
Was there a moment where you guys shook hands and you said, okay, beef ended? Yeah, I think it was. I think obviously the live conversation, that was kind of the big turning point it's like hey we got to work together with this um but also it's i mean for five years it's like all right finally we'll just move on yeah yeah it ran its course i didn't want to beat him up too bad yeah i think we were the last two people who are still beefing on your behalf yeah and we had to like put down the flag where like everyone's like no bryson's actually not the brandy shamblies yeah that stuff that's still going still going with that's still going i think we're gonna keep that one for a long time i'm going with bryson right now but i just want you there is like a hair trigger where if if i even get nudged in the direction of re-beefing with bryson i'll do it right i just think you should go back to the paperboy hat yes yeah agreed i think we need a little bit of that yeah a little bit of flair yeah we want we were trying to get bryson on to officially squash the beef here because you've squashed it but like we need to squash it because we did a lot of evidence we were on the front lines for you for a very long time you were i will say that we have some like battle scars that we need to probably talk through like hey we said some things you said some things yeah we need to get them on yeah i don't think he ever said anything about us i think think he thought about us.
Yeah, he definitely thought about us. Oh, yeah, yeah.
I think everybody, it wasn't hard to get that at. Yeah, he thought about us quite a bit.
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Check it out now. And now back to Brooks Koepka and Taylor Gooch.
So you guys are in town this week. What's the goal? What are we going to look at on Sunday? Trophies.
Yeah. Trophies.
Trophies, yeah. Yeah, so how is Team Golf, like, it's so weird to me.
still don't really understand like i know how team golf works but is it did it take a little time to get over like hey this used to be a sport that we just only care about ourselves and now we're trying to be actual teammates i think it's one of those things where if you you go out and you go do what you got to do and then you're just looking at the leaderboard hoping gooch plays well or gmack if he's playing. And then, you know, Kokrak, you just hope they're playing well.

And then just add them up at the end of the day i mean it's like belichick says the same said just do your job yeah do you guys though ever fall for the trap like when we go out hank pft and i and we are trying to do something as like a three-man scramble uh it's within maybe two shots, we just blame each other.

Do you ever like, hey, we lost, but I won.

I played better than you.

I mean, if we start playing scramble golf, maybe.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Which would be fun.

We start our own tour.

Yeah.

I mean, a scramble on the tour would be very fun.

I think so.

That's what I'm saying. We've got to start our own league.

You want to do it? Let's do it. Okay.
What are we going to call it? The Gooch. The Gooch.
The Gooch. Yeah, I'm down.
The afternoon Gooch. There we go.
I thought a good format for golf would be if you just took your best nine holes, no matter what holes those were, and just score it to par. You just pick? Yeah, you score it to par.
So I'll go out there, and I'll probably have seven or eight holes where I just take the max, and I'm like, fuck it. But it's okay if you do that because you're only counting your top nine holes.
So halfway through a hole, you can be like, I'm not going to use this hole anyways. I'm going to pick my ball up, go on my way.
Just go sit in the cart and have a beer. Go sit in the cart, have a beer.
The round moves along a lot quicker. We're in, we're out in like three hours.
Yeah. I've always said 18 holes is too many.
Yes. Yeah.
perfect amount of holes i think it's 12 that's a great question i mean you've said i've said 12 yeah because like the blackout yeah 13 through 17 12 is because 12 also is like you could go golf and be done in two and a half hours and that's like because for me personally i would love to golf more but i can't be like hey to my wife like hey i'm i'm gone for six hours yeah good luck with that yeah right but like two and a half hours you could do that and just be like that's not a huge time perfect time frame right there need more 12 i think there are a couple 12 hole golf courses what do they call those executive courses yes that's such a cool name that is you're like yeah i'm a ceo have you – I'm skipping work to come golf here. I'm a CEO.
My time is important. I can't do 18 holes of golf.
Yeah. When was the last time – so you guys have played so many courses all over the world.
When was the last time you were wowed by a course? You're like, this place is insane. It's been a while.
I mean, I gusts to go every year, and it's in perfect shape. It's phenomenal, but there there's not many shadow blew my mind a few years back when we played uh on tour there they had like it took me six holes to find a divot like it was in such perfect shape i was like did you play that yeah where is it dude in vegas in vegas so it's a little blurry yeah okay got it yeah literally like took six holes before I found a divot in the fairway, and I was just like, this is insane.
Yeah. Insane.
That's crazy. Yeah, I mean, a good – I don't know the difference between any of these golf courses, so if you took me to Gus, I'd be like, this kind of looks the same as all the other ones.
No, the green. You would notice the green.
It's a different color there. Yeah.
Yeah. You can go play the one we're playing this week.
Yeah, we are. We are.
It's perfect. Are you a little bit afraid to see me back out on the course after what I did to you? Yeah, the beatdown I got last time was pretty good, so we're going to have to figure out something new.
You're also in trouble because I found on Instagram, I found a driver that doesn't slice. Oh, yes.
I think it's illegal, but I have it. Yes.
It goes left? No goes left no it goes straight every time it only goes 200 yards but it goes straight every time that's perfect yeah i have a bunch of buddies that would want that by the way yeah you could i'll hook them up i'll hook them up uh all right so florida state sucks yes very bad what's going on there i don't know is it a lack of nil it could be because you have money get the piff involved yeah yeah bring the piff i know the piff was beyond trying to do that or somebody in colorado yeah yeah i saw yeah bring him to florida state we'll be fine what what's i mean oh and two after last year like what are you gonna do yeah i don't know uh find more nil money okay that's the answer um i don't know it's not the coach i think it's a bit of both yeah dju yeah ravelle i don't know it's not great right now yeah and then the vibes aren't good and gucci you're a big oklahoma state guy uh sucks that oklahoma's out of the big 12 but your season's going okay i love gundy gundy is the man yeah the man did you see what he was saying earlier uh Maybe it was yesterday. They asked him about – they had some transfer in, and they were like, so why did you pick him? He's like, do you want me to tell you Coach Doc or do you want me to be real? Yeah.
And they were like, we want you to be real. He goes, ah, he was affordable.
Yeah, right. I love Gundy.
Gundy's a perfect example, too, of like you got to know what you are in college football and not try – like having Gundy, you know you're going to have a good competitive team every year. Yeah, maybe you won't win a national title, but there's still some fun in it.
Like I'm going through that right now with Wisconsin where it's like we've made these transitions. Like I just want to go back to winning nine games, ten games.
Yeah. That's cool.
You know? Eight or nine games at Oklahoma State is a fun season. Right.
Fans go. They have a good time.
You could win any game at home. And Gundy is always – he's just so fun to watch, like, during the games.
I saw him just screaming at the refs in that game against Arkansas. And you can't tell me that the refs don't think about that in the back of their head.
They're like, I really don't want to piss off Mike Gundy. Oh, 100%.
They don't want to get hit with the mullet. No.
Like, plain and simple. No, he's the best, man.
So he grew up where I'm from. I have a funny story about him.
So I'm from this little town right outside of Oklahoma City. And so my freshman year at Oklahoma State, the golf team was great.
It had like Peter Uline and Morgan Hoffman, Kevin Tway, like all these All-Americans. And I'm just this little freshman showing up.
And so I kept joking with all of them. I'm like, man, y'all are like small fish in a big pond.
Like where I'm from, I'm a big fish in a small pond. Everybody knows me back home.
Like I'm just messing with them. Right.
I kept saying, I'm like, man, I'm a hometown hero. Y'all know nothing about that.
And Gundy brought a recruit on a visit to Carson Creek, the golf course. And we were there that day.

And I hadn't seen him since I was like a kid.

And so he comes, introduces the recruit to all the golfers and the coaches and stuff.

And he comes to me.

He goes, oh, fellas, this guy is a hero back home.

Like, this is the man.

And I was like, I've been telling you.

I've been telling you. So, yeah, Gundy's my dude.
Yeah. He's, I mean, he's, it's crazy.
How old is he now? Because I feel like he's always 40. I think he's not.
That's going to be a big one if you're old when he turns 60. I think that was 2007, maybe, on the man I'm 40.
So he's, yeah, he's that 17 years old. Yeah.

Yeah.

That's going to fuck me.

That's going to fuck me up bad.

But then we get,

we get to say it starting next year.

That's true.

We're about to turn 40.

We're men.

Finally,

we're a man.

One of my favorite things about Oklahoma state is the mascot.

His name's Pete,

right?

The,

the different cartoon drawings that they do with Pete for every single

sport.

So cool.

It's the best.

So,

uh,

the golf and Pete one is pretty good. Yep.
Swing and Pete, swinging Pete. That's the name of it.
Swinging Pete. Swinging Pete's awesome.
What's a, what are the other crazy sports that they have him playing? I think there's a wrestling Pete. Oh yeah.
Where he's like, he's grappling with somebody. My favorite one's the baseball one.
It's, it's sweet. Like he's, it's just, he's got bat and he's just swinging.
It just looks sweet. He is a great, is a great mascot.
I haven't seen. They should have one.
Like, the equestrian is big at Oklahoma State. I bet there's an equestrian Pete somewhere where he's, like, riding a horse or something.
Yeah. Yeah, there's some good ones.
It's just a fun sports university. I always say that the sky in Stillwater, you will never find a darker sky anywhere in the world than Stillwater at night for a home game the sky is neon black it's a different shade of black than you'll see at any other college atmosphere and when the when the uh students are wearing like sometimes you do the black out there too it's one of the most intimidating places to play i think college football um there's about seven stoplights in the town so there's not a bunch of uh light illuminating the sky.
You're right. It gets dark there.
It does. Look at Wrestling Pete.
That might be my favorite one. Oh, Wrestling Pete's a fucking monster.
Look how jacked up this guy is. I love that.
Oh, yeah. I love that.
That guy's awesome. That's pretty solid.
I forgot to say congratulations on the Panthers. Yeah, thank you.
How long? Where were you when they won? Were you there? No. I promised my wife.
I was in Nashville. Oh.
I promised my wife that I would stay in Nashville. She went to school there and lived there for about two years.
So I stayed there. I actually went to the Barstool bar.
Oh, nice. We had some fun.
How long did it take for you after they won for you to blink? Probably about three hours. Yeah.
That was an awesome run. It was phenomenal.
It was so cool. The fact they almost blew it too was nerve-wracking yeah it was close um i was sweating it yeah you know um between the the bets and watching it and not wanting to blow um 3-0 lead was was a bit nerve-wracking but uh we had a few drinks to ease the pain yeah did you feel like there it was like all the world against you at that point? Because I think everyone wanted to see Edmonton make that comeback.
Yes, I think everybody did. Yeah.
I think there was all of about everybody in South Florida, or at least that goes to the games that are fans. It was fun to see.
Yeah. Gooch, who do you root for in NFL? Cowboys? Man, I don't really have an – I love the NFL.
I don't really have a team, though. That must be nice.

You just get to watch it stress-free.

No heartbreak. Yeah, and I can just talk shit about everybody's team.

Yeah. Suck.
Yeah.

Most people from Oklahoma are

either Cowboys or Chiefs fans,

just because it's closest to... That's a big difference

in the last 10 years.

Yes. Can't be a Cowboys fan.

Yeah.

Wait, but you're a Packers fan. Yeah.

You're a loser. Yeah.
You're fan. Yeah.
You're a loser.

Yeah.

You're actually a loser.

I loved Brett Favre growing up.

Do you love him still?

Uh-huh.

Could do without the photos, but yeah.

Photos, maybe some funding.

Yeah.

Yeah, they're staying out of trouble.

Were you saying he could come back and play while Jordan Love is hurt?

Yeah, it's going to be interesting to see what happens the next few weeks.

Do you want Malik?

You don't want Malik?

No, I don't.

No, I'm not a huge fan, no.

I mean, the fact that they're not going to be able to play anybody but Malik Willis this weekend.

I want to say, for the record, I launched the biggest regular season bet of my life on the Colts minus three for next week.

Oh, did you?

Yeah, because I just don't think – have you seen Malik willis play football yes really good guy great great guy really good guy cares about the homeless yeah we're we're in trouble i think yeah yeah are you a uh oklahoma city thunder fan no or yeah sorry yeah the glasses gotcha it happens yeah you're a big thunder fan that's my only professional team allegiance thunder so you got to be excited right oh bro i just got my season tickets like i'm i'm pumped i scheduled out like all the like games i'm actually gonna be home for like i'm i'm locked in it is a crazy crowd we talk about all the time it's like the closest a professional sports team has to a college crowd yeah everyone wears a shirt everyone when they put those free shirts out everyone wears oh yeah unbelievable yeah no doubt very very fun all right so wait how how many more weeks is there in the live season and how does it end so this week is the last individual championship okay we're gonna have so 13 events gooch won it last year oh congrats yeah so this is the last one. And then the team championship is next week in Dallas.
Oh, okay. So that one, are you guys in – is it cumulative? Yeah, we're in fourth right now as a team.
But, yeah, we've got all our guys back this week, so hopefully we'll be able to move up into that first three teams. If you guys win, we'll raise a banner.
We'll put up a banner. We're going to get one.
We're going to get one bigger. A smash banner in this studio being like, look, we root for winners here.
Yes. I'm in.
What do you get if you win? Do you get a ring? You should. You got one last year.
Don't look at me. I didn't win anything.
I'm saying the teams, though. Oh, the team? Yeah, the team, right? Yeah.
I mean, we

deserve six of them. You guys deserve one, too, right?

Yeah, I would say so. Hank is a fan

of your rival, though. He's a big

fan of the four aces. Hank, who are

the four aces? Who's on the four aces, Hank?

The

Dustin Johnson. He prepared for this.

Oklahoma State, Peter, you

line? Mm-hmm. Wrong.

Fuck.

It's a bad idea.

Damn! You were one

I'll see you next time. Oklahoma State, Peter Uline.
Mm-hmm. Wrong.
Fuck. It's a bad idea.
Damn. You were one for one.
Varner. Yep.
Yep. Is Perez still on there? Yep.
Yep. I thought, was Uline on there last year? Yeah, it was.
Wow. Fuck.
Sounds like you're a Fairweather fan. Wow.
Who is it? P. Reed.
Patrick Reed. Oh, man.
And he's a diehard Four Aces fan. I know.
And that's what he's- He's got swagged out in the gear, I'm sure, and everything. Yeah.
All right. Well, I got one last question.
Rollback question. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com.
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I have to bring it up so that AWLs can hear it.

Have we had any further discussions with Jenna about her feet and Jerry?

I have not.

I did.

Gooch, we're asking.

Yeah, Jerry is interested in getting pictures of Jenna's feet. Feet the streets, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

He does a foot competition where a bunch of contestants come and females show off their feet and he would like jenna to participate so normal stuff you participated yeah i did participate yeah he didn't know i was a girl it was like there was a big uh drape in front and i got my nails painted and everything and i made it through the first round no way yeah yes yeah it was all time clip so i did participate you went against me oh yeah that's right i went against max i forgot i went against max yeah i think uh i think we got to get her this year yeah we got to get her in i mean she has she talked to you about that or are you just saying she asked me what i was trying to sign her up for i think a couple this was a. And then I showed her the big cat's feet clip.
Yeah. And she was like, I think I could beat that.
Yeah. Yeah, I think Jenna's in.
We'll get her in. Yeah.
We couldn't get baby Blake, but we can definitely get the feet in. We need to get some PIF money.
The cash prize would be huge. Imagine if we had to feed the streets for like $10 million.
I don't see why we can't.

We have a quality competition for that.

Yeah.

Brooks, I have to ask you about the suit that you wore on the red carpet.

Oh, yeah.

No.

Yeah, the black suit.

Yes.

I brought it back.

I was trying to get drafted in like the 03 draft.

Yeah, that's what it looks like.

Old school, man.

It looks like Carmelo Anthony on draft night.

I was the most comfortable guy in that whole theater.

Were you trying to send a message?

Were you trying to like set a tone for fashion, be a leader, or were you just like- I'm a trendsetter, yeah. I was trying to set the trend.
I was the most comfortable guy, I promise you. Everybody showed up in the tight suit, and they didn't look comfortable sitting down.
And meanwhile, I was just chilling with popcorn and a beer and was happy as could be. It looks like either a Stephen A.
Smith suit. I've seen him wear pants like this and a jacket like that.
It looks like if Chet Hayes was playing Johnny Cash in a movie. That's kind of the vibes that you give up right here.
Yeah, that kind of was. Taking some fashion chances.
It did look comfortable, though. It looked like it flew.
It was. It's great breathability.
All right. Well, go win a championship for us.
Hey, we're trying. We're diehard smash guys.
The banner, we will raise a big banner in the office being like smash champions. I love it.
So, and if you don't win it. We'll wait till next year.
Yeah. We'll be a next year guys.
We'll be like next year's our year. There's always next year.
Yeah. There's always next year.
Are you, are they going to break up the smash? No. Brooke, maybe you should do like a last dance thing.
Tell the guys right before like, Hey, they're talking about breaking us up. See, that could be good.
Yeah. Get them all juiced up.
Instead of that Netflix thing, we could do this. Yeah.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Wait, you're not in the Netflix thing again. No.
Yeah. No, I passed on that.
Yeah, I mean, the last time you were in it, they shouldn't film anyone around March Madness. That was unfair for you.
I thought it was. I had more important things to do.
If you put a camera in my face, March Madness, you're going to get the worst version of me. Yes.
Not that you came across well, but it would be bad for me. The funny thing about that was I didn't even participate in season two.
It was just Jenna. Jenna just did a couple of the interviews, and I was like, eh, I'm good.
But then she still made the episode. Yeah.
I don't really know what was going on. I was like, all right.
That is fucked up, though. You were upset for reasons not having to do with golf right yeah that's thin hit yeah it was a it was a low blow but you know what we move on yeah um all right thanks boys best of luck for the championship go win it yeah thanks we'll see you on the course yeah welcome back to another fire fest of the week brought to you by our friends over at morgan and morgan You know what really sucks? Getting invited to get another wedding for like the ninth weekend in a row and having to pack up, go to town, fly in, fly out, Max.
You know what else really sucks? If your quarterback doesn't throw for 100 yards. Couldn't be me.
While they can't help any of that, they can help fight to get you full and fair compensation when injured. Their fee is free unless they for more information go to for the people.com slash pmt or you can dial pound law pound five two nine from your cell phone for more information go to for the people.com slash pmt or dial pound law pound five two nine from your cell phone okay fire fest the week to wrap up the week sending you into a football a football weekend.
Henry. Daniel.
Hank. Give it to us.
P. Ha-ha! Monday.
Yeah, that's the day of the week. Mondays are fire.
Days of the week. Days of the week.
Days of the week. Days of the week.
Days of the week. There's week Days of the week There's Sunday

And there's Monday

There's Tuesday

And there's Wednesday

There's Thursday

And there's Friday

And then there's Saturday

Days of the week

Days of the week

I've listened to that

Too many times

I don't think I've ever heard that

Yeah

That's how they teach the kids

Days of the week

In my house it's just

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday

Thursday, Friday

Saturday

Donuts

Donut day

Donuts

When is donut day?

Speaking of donuts

I'm sorry. That's how they teach the kids days of the week.
My house is just Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. Donuts.
Donut day. Donuts.
When is donut day? Speaking of donuts, I went to the grocery store Monday, eating healthy, trying to get some groceries, get my week started off right on the right note. I was in an aisle.
I saw milk, whatever, grabbed it, didn't think about it. One of those half gallons.
Got home Monday night before I went went to bed had a bowl of raisin bran i like to eat cereal at night not a cereal in the morning guys late night late night snack okay okay making them at night what what you know the shanky he's making them at night making them at night and then in the morning woke up early before i went to the gym, made a protein shake, used the same milk, started driving to the gym and had never had to shit my pants as bad in my entire life. Legitimately- You shitting the Audi? Please tell me you didn't shit the Audi.
I was driving. Did you shit the Audi? I had shit the Audi.
I didn't even make the gym. I came to the office because the gym that I go to has like one stall.
So sometimes if you have to take a shit, there's a chance that it's occupied.

So I couldn't even run the risk.

I was like passing cars, driving borderline recklessly to get just to the office.

Yeah.

Disaster.

Yeah.

Disaster.

Stomach.

Disaster.

For like two hours.

Disaster.

And I got home and I was like, what could it possibly possibly have been all i had today was just a protein shake i bought lactose free milk oh okay so you're lactose intolerant intolerant reverse yeah i got reverse lactose intolerated yeah damn which i didn't know was a thing i don't know what how what lactose free milk no wait wait why they sell it and why they sell it near the regular milk let me jump in real quick you might it might not have been the milk it might have been the massive protein shake that you had no because i had that every morning okay no no other ingredients no creatine i have creatine every morning because creatine can make you have the shits bad But it was Unlike anything I've ever experienced Like I've had shits You drink coffee in the morning sometimes it gives you the shits You pre-workout gives you the shits This was like It was a disaster And it was a disaster for a while It wasn't like your morning You never recovered For like. It was pain.
It was sitting on the toilet contemplating life, thinking you're never going to smile again type situation. Are you addicted to milk? Do you get a milk problem? No, I like regular milk.
Lactose-free milk is crazy to me. I didn't know it existed.
You didn't read the labels. No.
I didn't know. I didn't even subject myself to the...
I do that all the time. I do that.
Hand up. Not lactose-free milk, but I don't read labels ever when I'm shopping.
I always come back with one thing that was incorrect. You know what it is? It's the red carton that they sell it in.
It was blue. It was the blue carton? Yeah.
Oh, man. Fair life.
They do try to get you. And they got me.
And they got me bad. And if that's what happens to people that are lactose intolerant that i sympathize with them dearly i i have a take wait what what max gonna say i think that i i used to drink lactose free milk all the time growing up i had someone in my family who's lactose and we would only have that oh good i have a take yeah that's that's a good comment man no i don't i think i don that that's what that was i think that i'm happy you have that because i have a take off that max is like you only max like i only shit myself when i was drinking regular milk yeah no but i would drink regular milk too i was fine what i'm about to say is probably gonna offend some people and people are gonna tweet me and be really upset i think lactose intolerant people are just pussies I used to think that.
just i god come on come on when people like i can't eat that ice cream i'm locked shut the fuck up eat the ice cream i think that there are people that that's not true for the most part of lactose intolerant people but there are some people lactose intolerant when they're 18 plus there yeah there are some people that claim stolen valor off lactose and yes like there are because Because it becomes a personality trait. There are allergies I respect.
Peanut allergy, respect that. You could freaking die.
Oh, bee allergy. Bee allergy, respect the fuck out of that.
Don't respect people who say, oh, the trees have buds on it and I'm sneezing in the spring. Don't respect that.
And don't respect lactose intolerance. Don't respect pollen? No, I don't.
No, I don't either. I think pollen is just a sign of weakness.
If pollen affects you, sign of weakness. I don't respect that and don't respect like like pollen no i don't know i don't either i think pollen is just a sign of weakness if pollen affects you sign a weakness i don't respect pollen allergy uh i do respect the lactose thing i don't unless unless it's borderline people that are like yeah i drink lactose free milk because sometimes my stomach gets upset if i have milk don't respect it it's i respect lactose free if you've been lactose for your whole life if you're 18 plus and then decide to become lactose intolerant i don't respect it.
I respect lactose-free if you've been lactose-free your whole life. If you're 18 plus and then decide to become lactose intolerant, I don't respect it.
I just don't respect it. But now I kind of do.
Answer this. Because if the reverse of what happened to me is what happens to them, then I would also be lactose intolerant.
Are some babies lactose intolerant? I don't think so. Because you got to get that milk, right? When it comes to things people are allergic to, if it could kill you, I'm fully on board.
Like, respect you. Like, you know, people have like shellfish, something weird like that where it's like, yeah, I could die.
That's just no joke. That's no joke.
If your tummy hurts, shut the fuck up. My tummy hurts every time I eat ice cream.
I'm lactose intolerant. I like it when people go to a doctor that specializes in treating, like a lifetime treatment uh for being like gluten intolerant and they give them a test like oh surprise you tested positive for the thing that i actually solve and then you have to keep coming back and seeing me for yeah exactly yeah like oh the only medicine is just give me more money yeah i'm happy i got just described big pharma bro yeah i've had that take for a while i I've never felt safe to say it, but I'm going to say it.
And I know there's going to be people who will be like, you don't know, man. You don't know.
I kind of think of all, other than peanuts, I respect peanut allergies. Yes, because it kills people.
All food allergy. Nah, shellfish is no.
Shellfish is no. Shellfish.
That can kill you. Anything that's like you need.
I just don't like going out to dinner with people who have food allergies. It's basically very clear.
Yeah, but shellfish, you can legitimately. Shellfish, yeah.
If you need an EpiPen, I respect you. Right.
If you're like, oh, I got a little diarrhea. Dude, that's my whole life is eating too much ice cream and getting diarrhea.
Shellfish and peanuts, they can take you out. Yeah.
At a moment's notice. Yeah.
Yeah, exactly. Tree nuts.
TJ Watt. Yeah, tree nuts.
Yeah, I feel like that's an epi pen yeah it's an epi pen which my fault tj sorry again wait i thought only tree nuts were just nuts that literally that literally dropped from a tree didn't realize it was literally all the nuts i'm reading up right now that uh cow's milk can cause life-threatening anaphylaxis No,. Never heard that word before.
And that would be they'd have to drink like an entire cow. We can get to it at the lottery ball.
Pug is this person. He's lactose? Get him in here right now.
Get him in here right now. Get Pug in here right now.
You know what? I respect Hank more that he's intolerant of things that are lactose intolerant.

Yeah. Yeah.

You just got a man's stomach.

Yeah.

I'm reverse lactose intolerant.

Yeah.

You need it.

Yeah.

I'm lactose tolerant as fuck.

Yeah.

Jerry claims that doing one of the challenges, drinking a lot of milk, has made him lactose intolerant.

That sounds like that.

Yeah.

That's a Kamala voter.

That's a Kamala voter.

Pug.

Puggy. Our dear Puggy.
Our lovely Puggy. We love you so much, Puggy.
We want to boop you forever. Pug.
You lactose intolerant? Yes. Like actually lactose intolerant.
What happens when you eat ice cream? I just like get very bloated. Oh.
That's intolerant. And I rest my case.
And I rest my case. Thank you, pug.
You're dismissed. Appreciate your time.
You have done exactly what I needed in front of the jury. What a moment.
What a moment. So perfect.
What happened? It's good. Fuck.
I fart a lot. Yeah, get in line.
That's every time I eat ice cream. Or pretty? Fuck.
I fart a lot.

Yeah, get in line.

That's every time I eat ice cream.

Or pretty much anything.

But like, yeah, dude, if you give me a whole bowl of queso,

I'm not going to feel great after it. Well, I've noticed one thing since I've been eating more salads recently.

I get bloated on salads.

I might be allergic to vegetables.

I just eat too much.

Yeah, thank you, Pug.

That was great.

All-time moment.

I'm going to need a clip of that.

Pug, my take was that lactose intolerant is just not real

and that people are just pussies.

I think it's everyone's a little bit lactose intolerant

and no one should actually eat as much dairy that we eat.

That was my point.

I eat so much ice cream, my stomach hurts almost every time. That doesn't mean I'm lactose intolerant and no one should actually eat as much dairy that we eat.
That was my point. I eat so much ice cream, my stomach hurts almost every time.
That doesn't mean I'm lactose intolerant. It just means that I like to go to the limit.
I eat ice cream to the limit. PFT, good firefesting.
My firefest of the week is that I was watching clips of old football games earlier this week, and there was an old Washington game, an old Redskins game. And watching the game, I felt excited to see that team.
And it made me realize that the Commanders is just, it's the worst name for a team you could possibly have. Like, say they're not bringing the old name back.
It's not going to happen. Josh Harris has been very clear about that.
You can't go back to Redskins. But just seeing those colors and the logo, it actually made me feel for the first time like, God damn, this new logo sucks so bad.
Yeah. Which is the logo.
It's the same colors. I don't feel anything.
It's different colors, though. We got like a different shade of burgundy sometimes.
We got the black jerseys. It used to pop more more and it looked so cool yeah it looked cool that's the only thing i care about it looked cool and it made me feel something and now i'm just depressed that we have the shitty name and they they have to change the name you need a mascot they have to change it hey yeah hank and i were talking about the mascot be the red hogs because like yeah well that's, let's just say hypothetical.
I hope they change the name. But if they keep the name, we need, like, a cool logo that's not just the letter W.
Yeah. That's on the side.
Every time you wear that hat, I think it's a Wisconsin hat. It's a bad logo.
And it's a, I don't like the name. If they don't change the name, Hank was saying that they should actually have, like, a cartoon president on there.
And we were saying it'd be funny if they took every president's name put it in a hat and then picked one out and then the cartoon of that one president was going to be our logo man rock if you got garfield it would rock if we got you got van buren it'd be tough if we got uh william howard taft there's a big fat guy on there yeah fdr would be funny too yep teddy roosevelt bama teddy roosevelt would rock. Teddy Roosevelt would rock because everybody loves Teddy Roosevelt.
He saved football. He absolutely plays as a cartoon character.
Yeah. It'd be great.
And Hank will appreciate this. He actually got shot during speech, Hank.
Yeah. So you can get behind him.
Mm-hmm. Allegedly.
And he finished his speech, yeah. Allegedly.
I agree, though. I think you need to be the Red Hogs.
Yeah, the Hogs would be great. The Red Hogs would be great.
But it sucks. It's such a bad name.
Nobody likes the name. People that root for the team don't like for the name.
People that happen to catch on the bottom line of ESPN the word commanders, they don't even watch the game. They see that word, and they're like, ew.
Yeah. Bad name.
It makes everybody's football-watch's football watching experience worse it's a shitty name change it to something else and also give me a fun logo to look at yeah because the w the w sucks i agree with you um all right my fire fest i got two uh the first one's quick i feel like i'm headed into an all-time bad football weekend uh because uh the badgers are 16 point underdogs. I'm going to that game, and then the Bears play Sunday night football against the Texans.
Let's just say beware of hackers. I think I'm going to be in a world of hurt late Sunday night.
So all the people who just love just soaking in my misery, I had a lot of Packers fans be like, it just didn't hit the same on Monday, having to listen to you be happy about one and oh it's one thing to be gonna get it it's one thing if your team's bad and you watch them and it's buried in like a an early game slate and nobody really pays that close attention to it it's another thing if your team sucks and everybody watch and i'm doing the bookends yeah the the badgers play at 11 a.m on saturday and then the bears play the last game of football on sunday so i'm basically bookending what could be a disaster for me you're gonna get a lot of potentially if you lose not ready for prime time yes yes uh and then my other one is uh we went so we had uh brooks and taylor gooch on the show in studio because the live tour is here if you're looking to to go watch some Live Golf, Bowling Brook, that's where they're playing. We went out and played with Brooks today.
Video should be out by, what, 7 p.m. tonight, Max? No.
Oh. You're not going to press the button? All right.
Well, just tell Max to press the button and the video will come out. But anyway, we went.
We had fun. TBD.
Video willd uh got back hour and a half back a lot of traffic rush hour got back uh jerry my caddy who i drove with uh as we're leaving the course i ryan poles was playing in the in the uh pro-am as well so i went to go say hello to him and i said jerry here's here's the valet ticket here are my clubs i'll meet you at the car in 10 minutes just make sure my clubs get in the car got all the way back to the office hank had gotten a call from the live tour that uh my clubs are in bowling brook and if you know how i like golf i don't think i'm ever getting them back yeah my i don't care enough to get them i thought when i when i found out the news i was like big cat to quit golf now. Yeah.
The clubs are too far away. Too far away.
Those are lost clubs. Yeah, they're gone.
I'm never getting them back. That's the universe telling me I'm not going to golf anymore.
Unless someone gets them back for me, they're never coming back. To be fair to Jerry, I was talking to him afterwards, and he said that Hank went up to the car, too, and sat in the car for a second.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. That was another part.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

No, that's...

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, wait, Hank.
Let me finish. Let me finish.
He said that you went to the car and that you sat in Big Cat's car and then you left and then you got in your own car and drove home. So that makes you equally responsible to Jersey Jerry for not picking up the clubs.
What Jerry didn't mention is the reason why Hank had to go to my car is because Jerry couldn't figure out how to put my car in park. Yeah, but you're not seeing...
There's a button that you just press for park, and Jerry had been sitting in the parking lot with his foot on the brake for like 10 minutes waiting for Hank to save him. Yeah, you're missing the force for the series, though.
Hank, at one point, was next to the car that was supposed to have the clubs in it that Jersey Jerry should have loaded into the truck. And then Hank left that car, so he's equally to blame as Jersey Jerry.
Yeah. So they're gone.
Oh, well. That's it for me in golf.
That was my golf career. Clubs left 45 minutes away.
Death. Maybe we'll play that course in the spring or something.
Maybe they'll just hold my clubs. You just treat it like you're a country club.
It would be like a giveaway. Yeah.
I mean, they're just there. Just do like a scavenger hunt and leave them around the course.
I told Jerry that it's his responsibility to get him back. I don't have high hopes for him to get him back.
I don't really care. But I'd prefer to have them back.
But, yeah, in terms of losing things, golf clubs, whatever. That's almost like a canceling plans rush that you could get like i'm not golfing anymore my clubs are 45 minutes away i don't have clubs you could just put them outside for the live tour event with a sign that said free to a good home yeah we'll figure it out and when i say we'll figure it out we won't someone else will and if they don't then it's figured out.
Okay, Max, finish this off. You got one? Yeah, it can be quick.
It's basically a continuation of last week's Fyre Fest when I said that I was snoring. Oh, no.
I just got told maybe in a serious note probably 5,000 times that my DMs forever will just be remedies on how to stop snoring and at the end of the day they're all just like doctors telling me that I'm fat. Yeah.
I actually had a doctor, Dr. Dan hit me up and say you're fat.
He's fat. Yeah, so that was basically the whole thing and then I'm saying publicly now that I am going on a diet at the start of football season to get ahead of football season.
Listen, me and PFT have been dieting. Yeah.
Yeah. So let's go.
No, I know. I've been lifting.
But today, when we get meals together, we have to get healthy meals. I think what we need to do- That's never going to happen.
But we need to do it. No, no, no.
We're all kind of in the same boat.

Here's what we got to do.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Are you trying to eat...

Fact or fiction, you were on the phone today and you were saying, like, I want to eat something healthy.

Yeah, we're not in the same boat.

In the same boat of wanting to eat healthy.

Also, Hank, fact or fiction, you're shitting your brains out constantly.

Maybe you could mix in a salad.

Fact.

Here's the solution.

You guys are in the big boat. Obviously, me and PFT are not in the same boat.
Well, he's got high cholesterol. I have high cholesterol, Max.
Don't say I'm not fat. Here's the solution.
That's not what I'm saying. Here's the solution.
It's very easy. Why am I getting worked up? Sundays are a no-fly zone.
We can't do it on Sundays. Thursdays, we eat healthy that's fair i'm that's fair i'm willing

to because it's it's really like sundays are my cheat day i'm just like i don't give a fuck we're gonna sit and watch football i'm gonna eat whatever i want to eat thursdays are the unnecessary let's try to be as a group try to eat a little healthier maybe we have donnie start cooking us meals on thursday i'm down with that i'll pay for it i don't care i think we sure we just order from a place that has salads as an option.

Yeah.

But like... that i'll pay for it i don't care i think we sure we just order from a place that has salads as as an option yeah but like good like i don't like sometimes we'll get a place that'll have like two salad options they're both shit yeah no we need to know like there's nothing worse than like getting food from a good place and you're just eating shit salad all you got to do and i say this is someone who fluctuates fluctuates weight more than Oprah, the only time it's ever worked for me, which I've been doing recently, is just during the week.
It's no carbs. Nah, that's bullshit.
Okay, well that's the way you got to do it. No, but I...
Carbs are the enemy. No, calories are the enemy.
I don't think carbs are the enemy. It's easy.
Calories in, calories out. Because I need my oats.
You gotta have the oats. I have to count calories.

If you don't eat carbs, the weight will come

off. But that's because you just have

to put your...

I eat chicken and steak every night during the week.

Yeah.

No carbs. But that isn't...

That is

not how I will be doing it.

I'll eat sweet potatoes.

Alright, then you just stay fat and snoring. Yeah.
I'll eat like sweet potatoes. Like.

All right.

Then you just stay fat and snoring.

Yeah.

No, you eat sweet potatoes.

Fuck off.

You're not the fucking king of weight loss.

I'm not.

But I'm telling you.

You're the only guy who's ever lost weight on the fucking planet.

No.

I'm telling you the only time I've ever been able to lose weight is because I just don't

know carbs.

But people can lose weight in different ways.

But I've tried every way.

And the only way.

But you are different.

It's not like you are the only way.

But also Big Cat says that he fluctuates more than Oprah.

That's true.

When he's not eating you are the only way.

Also, Big Cat says that he fluctuates more than Oprah.

That's true.

When he's not eating carbs, he loses weight.

Correct.

And the second he has a carbohydrate, he's back up.

I'm like Pug eating ice cream.

I think Max is right.

There's a lot of different diets that can work, and they can work in short term.

But Max, we just got to be healthy overall.

Correct.

Let's just be healthy overall.

I don't know why.

I wasn't expecting to get this fired up during this.

I'm just trying to help you.

No carbs is what me But it would work for you That wouldn't work for me What about a treadmill? Yes it would What you gotta do is you gotta eat a lot of no carbs I wouldn't do it I eat boiled carbs Every morning That wouldn't I wouldn't do it. I eat boiled eggs every morning.
Like that wouldn't, I wouldn't do it. Like that, I could.
But then on the weekends you can eat whatever you want. Tim Ferriss.
Let's start doing suicides before the podcast. Tim Ferriss diet.
You can do whatever you want. I'm going to do the way that I'm going to do it.
Anyway, I'm down for Thursday night's health. Yes.

Thursday night's health.

Cheat day Sunday.

Cheat day Sunday.

Sunday, we can't fake it.

The problem with me doing a cheat day Sunday is that I also want to treat myself to another cheat day during the week. So sometimes I'm like, oh, it's Saturday.

It's my cheat day.

I forget that I've got my regularly scheduled cheat day coming on Sunday.

I'm not going to go full cheat day Sunday because I drink on the weekends and you guys don't. Yeah, that's true.
That's true. That's true.
Yeah, you do drink a lot. Vodka.
You drink a lot. No, vodka soda.
That's also a myth. Vodka water.
Tequila. No, that's also a myth.
They're the same amount of calories as Coors Light. Max, do you think that maybe if you drank less, that would help the snoring? Yeah, no, that's definitely a myth.
Max, it's a mystery why he keeps snoring all right we gotta drink i drink 60 beers a week weddings i have another wedding yeah that's true you are getting weddings and also at weddings there's not a healthy option there's appetizers i love appetizers yeah the walk in but you eat those standing up yeah yeah that's true um all right let's uh also you dance at weddings so you exercise yeah that's true i'm a. I bet you are.
You're a tie around the head guy. No, I'm not that.
Yeah, you are. All right.
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