Fantasy Football Preview With Jerry O’Connell, Mt Rushmore Of Everything + Great Listener Submitted FAQ’s

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He took the red eye to get here. It was great.
It's great to see J.O.C., Mount Rushmore of Part of My Take guests. So we did it all.
He also had a nice poem for Hanky, Hanky, Hanky. We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of everything.
We're very close to having Mount Rushmore season end. We're going to do FAQs.
Listener submitted FAQs and talk a little football. When your home system or appliance breaks down, American Home Shield will help fix or replace the covered item, no matter its age.

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Okay, let's go.

Hey, football guy.

For Dean of A.W.

Martin Mike's.

Yeah.

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The crown is yours. Today is Wednesday, August 28th, and it is cut day, boys.
Yeah, we're going through it right now. We're all going through it.
We're going through it big time. A lot of guys that you thought were going to make the team based on how they did in week three of the preseason, a lot of those guys ended up not making the team.
How they sang in hard knocks. Austin Reed got cut.
Yeah. Oh, how do we feel about tonight's hard knocks? Can we do a recap of that? Oh, yeah.
Recap of hard knocks tonight. It is 2.30.
We were in it again. Yeah, we were in it again.
The whole thing. So we just went back.
It was a recap of our episode from last week. Yeah.
We went back and we rewatched week two of hards. Yeah.
They should need to show more Caleb. More Caleb.
Yeah. No, we phase out Hard Knocks around this time.
I'm going to watch it. I don't think anyone else is going to watch it.
No. But that's okay because real football is about to be back.
But we do have cut day. I saw a rumor that Jameis might get traded.
Yeah. So Jameis,is the four million dollar vibes guy is i think it's a clear case of the backup quarterback being too popular yeah especially when you got deshaun watson ahead of him so i feel like the browns they i mean they could have anyone so dtr is going to make the team they said okay jamis might get traded and we should all be so lucky to have jamis wins that's actually great news for us because everybody has something to look forward to maybe jamis winston will be on our team by the end of the day yeah i mean well i was gonna say our team barstool sports you might be traded to barstool sport if he gets if he gets caught and no one picks him up he's got a he's got a seat ready to go listen if you want to make deshaun watson happy all you have to do is you trade Jameis Winston to Barstool Sports in exchange for our personal in-house masseuse, Hank Lockwood to the Browns.
And then I think- Talk about a vibe switch. Huge vibe.
That'd be the greatest vibe trade of all time. Max, you just yawned and made me yawn.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. Oh, man.
What the fuck? Now people are listening right now yawning.

There's someone who just yawned because of that. Hank was laying down earlier, so that's what made me.
We had to do an ad. We had to do an ad.
We had to do an ad. Do you guys want to get mad about an anonymous poll? Yes.
Okay, let's do it. I still think PFT.
It was fair. It's not that big a deal.
Oh, no. Oh, thanks.
We'll get to that with mount rushmore uh espn pulled over 100 nfl players to rank quarterbacks according to a variety of criteria let's get angry you guys ready yeah so uh the goat standings according to over 100 players as it stands right now tom brady 85 mahomes 7 okay good hank feels like he's still holding a lot of ground there 85 to seven that means that eight percent of nfl players don't have either one of those two as their all-time yeah i don't know i feel like some people just miss these some of these questions because there's oh i guess there was several other players receiving votes they didn't list them i would like to know yeah i want to know i would like to know maybe peyton manning paul george yep yeah throw that out there uh okay rank the top three current quarterbacks does anyone want to guess what the top three were patrick mahomes yes lamar jackson yes then for the third i'm gonna say aaron rogers no it was patrick mahomes with 291 votes how does this oh points they get three points Top three in their point totals. Patrick Mahomes blew out Lamar Jackson over double the points, who blew out number three, Joe Burrow.
Oh, okay. The players know.
The players do not forget about Joe Burrow, and then other receiving votes were Josh Allen and then Aaron Rodgers. Being in the others receiving votes category for Aaron Rodgers, that's a tough look.
Yeah it is kind of funny that whole VP thing he could have been the VP and still made it to week one I also think that he would have gotten more votes as VP than his percentage of who the best quarterback I'd agree I'd agree bad decision Aaron Rodgers uh Aaron Rodgers does not have secret service protection right now though yeah uh who will be the best rookie qb uh best career and this was a poll that was done before jj mccarthy got hurt uh not that it matters but we'll just throw it out there jayden daniels jayden daniels finished second he's so good kayle williams first i that see this is pft this is one of those situations where we we do have uh Same conference. Both have new quarterbacks.
But I feel like we're in a good spot together where it's like, I'm rooting for your guy, you're rooting for mine. That's not going to last.
Shut up, Hank. Shut the fuck up, Hank.
That's not going to last. Shut the fuck up, Hank, and let me get to the point here.
Cale Williams and Jaden Daniels both were very close in votes, 34 to 30. Wow, that's really close.
J.J. McCarthy was third.

He wins.

Other top vote-getters, Michael Penix Jr. and Bo Nix.

No Spencer Rattler.

No Drake May.

Interesting.

Not even on the other top vote-getters. He's not others receiving votes.

Bulletin board.

Tough summer for Drake's.

Okay, that's tough.

Most overrated quarterback. Drake May.
No. Okay.
Bolton board. Tough summer for Drake's.
Okay, that's tough. Most overrated quarterback.

Drake May.

No.

Okay.

Most overrated.

Trevor?

Josh Allen actually won it.

It was number one, but there was someone more important, number two.

Actually, two people tied for second.

A vote behind.

Deshaun.

No.

Tua?

Ooh. Tua's on the list.
And Jalen Hurts. Ooh.
Yeah. I was going to say Dak, but he's properly rated at number 17.
Yeah, 17. Jalen Hurts, overrated.
I love every single second of all of the Jalen Hurts slander this offseason. Is there a chance? He was hurt last year.
He wasn't himself. You said it yourself.
Brandon Walker had this question to our co-worker, Connor Griffin, who's also a Philly fan. He said that at some point this season, you were going to utter the words, Jalen Hurts is a bum.
No. Do you think you will utter those words at any point? I think you uttered them last year.

No, I didn't. At any point, not even in the heat of passion.
Well, we've said it ourselves, that in the heat of passion. Yeah.
I'm a passionate guy. You are.
You're Italian. You're on hot.
Right. I could say that after one pick.
You will utter those words this year. But I don't actually mean that.
I could say that he could be having the best game ever. Question for you, Max.
Is there even a small, small, small, small, small, small part of you? You said no? That thinks Jalen Hurts is good? Oh, no. Oh, no.
You said no to that? Please make that a quote? Big Cat asks, is there a small, small, small, small part of you that thinks Jalen Hurts is the guy? People just have the quickest memory of all time.

Yeah, thank you.

Wait.

Did I say that wrong?

Did I say that wrong?

Yeah, quickest memory.

What did I say?

You said the quickest memory.

You meant the shortest memory.

That's the same thing.

Shortest. No.

People have a short.

I mean, he played.

Max is moving.

Max is moving.

Cut him some slack.

You're moving right now? How long is this move? Moving sucks. Yeah, but how long is it? I mean, I had to move my girlfriend from New York to Chicago, and then she moved into my place, and I'm moving into a bigger place.
I got to unpack like 50,000 boxes. The toilet is fucked up.
Toilet's fine. Toilet was fucked up in my last place.
My entire apartment is just filled with boxes. Sounds like you're not ready for football season.
I just bought a new couch, which I'm very excited about. Okay.
Can I give you a tip? And Jalen Hurts, I got to listen to these knuckleheads over here talk about Jalen Hurts. These knuckleheads.
That's a good use of knuckleheads there. It's a simple matter of fact, though, that they don't have their center anymore.

And Jalen Hurts' best play was the quarterback sneak right behind his ass.

He's got to learn an entirely new ass.

He's going to be fine.

People forget we went and got fucking Saquon Barkley. Wouldn't you say, though, just the fact that we're having this conversation means there's a little part of you?

You started this conversation.

I didn't.

The anonymous poll did.

We are podcasting here. I'm answering a question.
you. You started this conversation.
I didn't. The anonymous poll did.
We are podcasting here.

I'm answering a question.

The anonymous poll started this conversation.

They're idiots.

They don't know anything.

They play in the league.

Yeah, stupid.

I'd like to know what his receivers would say.

AJ Brown came to Philly because of him.

And is he going to stay in Philly because of him?

He just signed a long-term deal.

Okay. So maybe he'll get Jalen Hurts out? No.
Okay. Max, can I give you a tip? No free ads, but just hire Serve Pro to come and get all the boxes.
I don't even know. It's the best move.
They get rid of the boxes? Yeah, they come and just take them all and get rid of them. They move them out of your apartment.
Yeah. It's not that expensive.
You you just call schedule it because that is the one of the worst parts about moving is when you get everything out of the boxes then you're like i have a house full of boxes i there's like a little entryway to my apartment it it literally is there's all boxes get spider will call him up for you spider's the man with that okay there's your tip not be grumpy. And you can maybe be honest.
I'm grumpy. You can be honest about Jalen Hurts.
You'll see. Really? Everyone will see.
Everyone will see. Others receiving votes for most overrated, Justin Herbert, Trevor Lawrence, Deshaun Watson, Kyler Murray, and Brock Purdy.
I don't know that Kyler Murray is that overrated. I don't think he's highly rated at all.

He was last year.

Like going into last year.

Maybe a little bit.

Most underrated quarterback.

Brock Purdy.

Number one tied with.

This is a good one I agree with.

Matt Stafford.

Richard.

Correct.

Matt Stafford.

Kirk Cousins tied in third with Jared Goff, Jordan Love, and shocker, Bryce Young. Most underrated.
Well, I guess he might be most underrated because everybody thinks that he's the worst quarterback. He's rated so poorly.
So low that it's impossible for him to be overrated. Yeah.
What about the biggest trash-talking quarterbacks? Fun one. This is the last one.
Ooh, this is fun. Very.
Patrick Mahomes. No.
Kirk Cousins. Not even close.
Josh Allen's number one. Okay.
Love that. Baker.
Yes. Yeah.
Number two. Baker likes to run the jaws.
And then Aaron Rodgers, number three. Fun anonymous poll.

It's just like another thing.

They just keep throwing us little appetizers back and forth right before we're just waiting so desperately for football to come out.

It's like, oh, yeah, here, discuss this for a second.

We'll give you a little tidbit to run about.

Yeah, I can see Aaron Rodgers being very sarcastic with his trash talk.

Yeah.

Like something.

He definitely spits something at you from the comments section. I also feel like he one of those guys who does the uh first down in your face after a penalty when the db is arguing yeah and he'll just walk by and be like move the ball we're going that way but he'll pick the ball out of your hands and be like we're over here yeah move the chains buddy yeah nice flag yeah um what else we got i don't know anything else that's We on read some headlines uh the nfl is considering approving private equity investment in saudis no that's not saudi so they're still against foreign governments being able to invest okay that's next up and so this whole thing is just that they're we're running out of people who can afford to buy nfl teams got it because they're getting so expensive so there 40 people in the United States that right now, in theory, could purchase an NFL team.
So they're like, how do we make this work? Oh, yeah, we'll just let private equity buy it. And everyone knows everything that private equity touches turns to gold.
Yes. So this is going to be a great move by the NFL.
No downside to the fans. They should do a raffle for one NFL team.
10% of the team goes to team goes to one fan yeah no or just like one fan gets to own an entire team next time an owner dies or like there's some someone gets ousted like this one's going up to a raffle that would be fun it's just imagine the because they could do it probably if they did a lottery how many people how much money do you think a lottery would raise if the if what you got was an nfl team it'd be billions probably more than the value of the actual is this not the best idea ever that you then get billions of dollars for the actual so the sale actually happens you sell the team to the lottery to the lottery yeah and then and then one random fan will end up being an nfl owner or the first one that gets picked in the lottery gets stoned to death by the

opponents fans, and the second person to win gets the team.

Oh, man.

Imagine winning an NFL team.

Or you pick two people, and they have to fight to death for the team.

Oh, I kind of like that, too.

I like that as well.

Then the fans of that team will instantly be like, he fought for us.

What if the team that wins the next Super Bowl, they split all the shares of that team, that brand new team? Yeah. What if it's instead of fight to the death, the two fans have to start a quarterback for their team during the preseason? It's who can last the longest.
I like that too. That would make preseason fun.
Who can survive the longest? Yeah, who can basically just keep going out there? out there that's not a bad idea either man I think we just solved the NFL's viewership crisis yeah we're in trouble this year I think the NFL's back it's too bad if we had this idea for the NBA Adam Silver we'd just have to post it under you know like respond to one of his tweets and he'd probably be like this is a. Okay, if the NFL fan winning lottery idea was it has to be a fan who is delinquent more than $50,000 on child support.
Yeah, well that's part of it too. When you go by the lottery, you get arrested.
You get arrested for it. Roger, think about it.
Maybe it's an expansion team. Do you think we're going to get an expansion? I would hope not.
32 is a great number. It's a good number.
It's always weird when you have the offset leagues where they're not the same amount. I don't know.
What's the next team? Everyone keeps talking about San Antonio. Now that Las Vegas is Las Vegas, that was the one boogeyman that every owner could point to and be like, we'll just Las Vegas.
We'll just move to Las Vegas. Well, it was L.A.
too.

So San Antonio.

Double L.A.

Yeah.

Now San Antonio is probably the next one out there.

St. Louis.

I feel like they also would just throw out a third team in New York.

Or Chicago.

There's been talks every now and then about that.

Imagine if the second team in Chicago was just awesome.

Yeah, they're really good.

That's exactly what it would happen. I've always said give Pittsburgh a second team.
Yeah. It's a football town.
Yeah, absolutely. Youngstown.
Yeah, give one in Alaska. I don't hate it.
Yeah. Hawaii would be fun.
Yeah, Hawaii would be fun. That's what they're going to do.
They're going to give one to London and Mexico. Yeah, that's true.
That's exactly what they're going to do. Maybe Brazil.
So private equity. So private equity, they're going to be allowed to invest in the nfl so what does that mean it means it's going to suck it's good the league is going to get 10 worse why because private equity they're going to come in and they're just going to try to figure out how oh yeah only streamline only streamline everything got it they're going to fire all the mascots you're done that makes sense okay um anything else going on in the sports world before we do our Hatsi Kulteron and Mount Rushmore? By the way, we have a big college football preview coming on Friday with Brandon Walker.
So it'll be fun. And we're going to have more football previews, NFL preview coming next week.
We're going to do Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday shows. Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday shows.
That's what we do. We work extra hard that week.
Oh, Kadarius Toney has been cut. Oh, no.
The Chiefs just became Super Bowl champs. Yeah, well, this is also very bad news for anybody that's playing against the Chiefs because Kadarius Toney was one of your better players if you were playing against the Chiefs last year.
Yeah. Just by him no longer being on the Chiefs.
What was his war? It was probably like minus two last year. Yeah, no, it was, I mean, that opening game, the Lions game, that was a, he lost at least two full games.
He lost two full games. Yeah, two full games.
As wide receiver, which is very hard to do. Do we think that we don't give enough, not credit, because it's not credit yet, but the storyline that the Chiefs could make history this year, have we not talked about it enough? What do you mean? No team's ever won three in a row.
I mean, I think the Chiefs are – we've been glazing pretty hard. I understand, but I'm just saying no team has ever won three in a row.
If they win three in a row, that's going to be – I mean, that's, it's, it feels like one of those records that probably will never be touched just because it is so hard to win one Superbowl, let alone two, let alone three. I honestly forgot that the Steelers never did it.
Nope. I thought that the Cowboys didn't do it.
Steelers didn't do it. Patriots didn't do it.
There was always that one little year and you know, the, the Cowboys and the, and the Patriots, and I believe the Steelers asers as well went three out of four but three in a row is really fucking hard to do are we are we not talking about it we should talk about it more we should probably talk about a little bit more I like the Chiefs over this year yeah who is the closest I mean the Cowboys in 94 did they lose in the NFC championship game to the 49ers I believe? That sounds right. That would probably be the closest, but I'm sure there was a...
I mean, the Pats lost to the Eagles, but if they had won that... No, that wasn't for three.
Oh, I guess that was. That would have been two.
Yeah. Yeah, you're right.
No, that was a very close game. You're absolutely right.
Pittsburgh did not go three out of four. I'm actually wrong.
They went four out of six. Okay.
So they had two years in between. Miami also had two in a row and a chance for the third.
I don't know where they finished back way, way back in the day. But, yeah, three in a row would be pretty crazy.
That would be cool. We'd have to be like the Chiefs are bad for the NFL.
Three-peat. Also, kind of the way you could also talk about it is there's 0% chance.
Because it's never happened before. Because it's never happened.
And if you know anything about gambling or life, if something's never happened, it will never happen. Yeah.
That's where I go. So what are their Super Bowl odds right now? I think they're 5-1.
5 or 6-1 on DraftKings. I might ride.
Yeah? I might ride. You going to get in on it? I might get in hard on that, yeah.
But that's also one of those ones that, you know, remember last year? They went from odds on favorites to then time it out. Like 10-1.
Let them lose a couple games. Yeah, I think the Chiefs are definitely, they're 5-1 on DraftKings right now.
The Chiefs are definitely in that mode of the Tom Brady Patriots where it just doesn't matter until, like Kelsey could suck, and then he's like, all right, I'm going to play now because of the playoffs. I'll tell you what I'm thinking about betting on is Lamar Jackson to win MVP because I think he's like 16-1 right now.
Oh, back-to-back MVP. Yeah, it seems like, just purely from Nod's standpoint, it seems like a good bet.
How weird. I watched the Steve McNair doc last night.
Have you guys seen it? I've not seen that. It wasn't great.
It was kind of weirdly done because there's, I didn't realize this, but there's a lot of conspiracy theories or just murkiness around his death. Yeah.
They didn't touch on it until the last five minutes. It was just about his life.
life it was about his life but it was also jeff fisher was great uh it just jumped around a lot and it just felt like at the end they told us oh hey we actually don't know if this is actually how it went down okay documentary over so but i was thinking about it it's so crazy they gave out two mvps that year it is wild and oh three peyton and steve mcnair won both one mvp i feel like that'll never happen again so weird it's that's not mvp steve mcnair was awesome though he was he was such a fucking tank uh so yeah i mean it sounds like maybe they made that documentary and they had something they wanted to put at the end and then for legal reasons they cut it and like i guess we can't get into this i don't know It was the rare documentary where it was only one episode, 58 minutes. And I was like, this could have been a two-episoder.
Because usually with documentaries now, they just stretch them for way too long. This one was the reverse.
It was like, do an entire first episode about Steve McNair and coming up and his story. Finishing third in the Heisman voting at Alcorn State was insane.
Do that whole thing then do the football then do the death three episodes i'm good with it yeah he was a monster i'm looking at the mvps right now lamar is 18 to 1 to win mvp so i think i'm hitting that right now right now 18 to 1 same odds as dak maybe they don't tap that with you they might know something about his ass maybe maybe they know what's been plaguing his ass. You know who I like for MVP? I like Jalen Hurts 14-1.
That's pretty good. 14-1? Yeah, I like that a lot.
For Eagles MVP? 14-1 for MVP of the Philadelphia Eagles. I also don't hate, you know what, another one I'll throw out there.
I don't hate Matt Stafford 30-1 because it feels like he's due for the everyone, you know, just picture yourself. Actually, well, maybe not the first week because they're playing the Lions and that's too early, but picture early October PFT.
Let me look at the schedule. I'm going to give you the Matt Stafford visualization right now of how this can happen.

It is, we're going to go to, hold on, I'm going to pull it up.

We're going to go to, let's say, early to mid-October.

You turn on your TV.

It is Rams versus Vikings. So Vikings are not great.
Rams, you know what? Actually, let's go in November. It is Rams-Dolphins.
Two explosive offenses. Monday Night Football.
Joe Buck comes in with his big ass head and his terrible hair plugs. Where's the game? The game is in LA.
Okay. I love LA.
Randy Newman. We love it.
So that's the intro. And they're like, Matt Stafford, who's having a sensational year, takes the field with the Rams, and did you know he's never even received a vote for the MVP? I don't know if that's actually a fact.
I'm just saying it. Troy, I can't imagine that trend would continue after this season.
You're right, partner. And the upstart Rams, who last year put it together to get into the playoffs, are an insane 7-1 to start the season, and Matt Stafford is playing MVP football, and this guy is a gamer.
I like it. 30-1.
When you watch that game, it's going to be 5-1. My only disagreement is in that matchup, it's definitely going to be a lot of talk about Sean McVay and Mike McDaniel being from the same coaching tree.
True. That's how they're going to start it out.
True. But then right after that, they'll say, can you believe this guy's never got an MVP? He's never got – let me see if that's actually correct.
But I think this might be a narrative year with Matthew Stafford where it's like, you know, one of those, hey, do we appreciate him enough? I do think the Rams are going to have a really good offense this year. Do we appreciate him enough? That kind of stuff.
He won comeback player of the year. Is that CPOY? No.
Yep. Is that? Yep.
Why did he win comeback player of the year? I think he came back from being on the Lions. Oh.
That's weird. He played the whole year.
He played the whole year before. Sometimes if you just stink for a year and then you come back and you play good, they're like, okay, yeah.
Like Joe Flacco. Yeah, I guess so.
Joe Flacco came back from being on the Jets. Yeah, I guess, yeah, they were 4-12 and then went 10-6, and he won comeback player of the year yeah uh he did receive uh at least one vote for mbp but it was only it was four votes in his rookie year or not yeah no sorry not his rookie year it was last year uh he received four votes so we'll just i think it's pretend that the four votes didn't happen okay what if what if at that game he's never finished higher higher than eighth in MVP voting.
Can you believe that? You know how they always zoom in on the player's parents or a close friend of theirs or their wife that's in the stands? The camera does a slow zoom in on Jake Felt. Yeah.
You know, this guy played high school football with Matt Stafford. Yeah.
This guy was actually better than Matthew Stafford, who's the MVP of this season. Five touchdowns.
Visualizations are fun. It is fun.
It's very fun. Right now, what that was was an exercise in teleporting into the future.
Also, visualization for that game, over-under was 52. I hammered the over.
Final score, 20-13. I just took that.
I took Stafford. Stafford, the visualization worked.
Yeah, the visualization. It's narratives.
It's narratives. Yeah, I don't know.
It seemed too good for 30 to 1. Right.
Especially they win primetime game on Sunday night to start. They're playing at the Lions.
He's got some big games. Think about this with Lamar.
Lamar at 18 to 1. You know that you're at least going to be in the conversation that's a fact also uh stafford has a bunch of primetime games they play the dolphins on uh november 11th and then they play uh the 49ers it says 7 15 so i assume that's an espn game maybe a thursday night game it is is a Thursday night game against the 49ers.
And, yeah, he's got some – and the Eagles. They play the Eagles Sunday night football, November 24th.
Narratives. Narratives.
Narratives. We also have the NFL deciding not to use the electric measuring system instead of the chain game.
Thank God. Which is good because we like the chain gang.
Yeah. Listen, we're very dumb,

but sometimes the way that we watch football is very smart in that we can tell you,

oh, I like this.

This is fun versus no, that's too much technology.

Yeah.

And the chain gang is a part of football.

I like having old guys who are 75 years old.

They're wearing that white hat

that doesn't fit them correctly.

The giant black vest with the X marker on it.

I like that guy waddling out onto the field and holding up a chain next to a football. Stretching it out.
Yeah, to determine. And also, again, it goes back to if you're rooting for either team in that situation, that's another win that you get during that game.
When the chain's on your side, that's a bonus play that you get to cheer for. That's huge.
We did it. We were the ones who said that we were going to fight for it, and boy, did we fight.
We fought. We fought hard.
We talked about it on a podcast one time. Yeah, and forgot about it until this very moment.
Okay, let's do Hot Seat Cool Throw, and then we have Mount Rushmore of Everything in an awesome interview with Jerry O'Connell. Ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working? Nah, neither has Ariat.
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And weather whatever in Ariat work gear. Hank i see his boeing boeing boeing boeing why boeing another boeing explodes what during maintenance at an atlanta airport killing two delta employees another another boeing exploded what the fuck is going on that boeing did that plane have information relating to the arrest of Hillary Clinton?

I don't know, but I feel like they should be on a hotter seat.

I think it's like... Agreed.

I wish I knew if I was flying on a Boeing or not.

I think you can tell.

Yeah, you absolutely can tell.

You can look at your app.

Look it up.

All right, well...

I'll tell you right away.

But what are you going to do?

You're going to change to a different...

Like, everything's a Boeing.

Yeah.

They should be on a hotter seat.

So I'm putting them on the hot seat. I'd agree with that.
Allegedly, but don't kill me. Yeah, Hank is very happy, not suicidal.
Oh, it looks like the tire exploded. Shit.
Well, that's two people dying. That's terrible.
So Hank is just pointing something out, but again, he's not suicidal. Not suicidal.

I love my life.

Do you?

Everyone listening to this podcast says that.

Yeah.

Like Hank's a happy-go-lucky guy.

Yeah.

I am in my own personal mind.

You're not trying to take that ultimate vacation, Hank?

No, not yet.

Although summer is over. But we got next summer coming up so is next summer you're already looking ahead I'll be honest I'm looking at I'm looking at Christmas I'll throw one thing out there I am already looking ahead to chill week next year that was like one of the best things we've done.
Camp week was great, too. Two editions of good vibes weeks.
Yeah. All the haters out there that say that all Hank does is complain, complain, complain, complain.
Hank, you're demure. You know that? Oh, are you demure? No.
I think Hank is the most- I saw that. I saw that TikTok trend.
He's the most demure person on this podcast. Define demure.
What's the other word she uses?

Language of origin, TikTok.

TikTok.

What's it mean?

It means demure.

Demure.

I learned about Taiwan yesterday.

Demure today.

What is it?

What's the definition?

If you have to ask, you might not be.

I'm going to just guess off the top of my head.

Can you use it in a second?

It's not yours.

Reserved, modest, and shy, typically used of a woman.

It means unbothered. You are demure.
You're a chick. You choose classy over trashy.
That's facts. And isn't the lady's name LeBron? Isn't she the one that's making it famous? I believe so.
Yeah, Hank and LeBron have a lot in common. Very demure.
What is it? What's the original video? I honestly hate that word. Why? Whoa.
I never understood what it it meant and every time people use it i just hate it you never were like hey i can just look this up real quick no but it's like it's like no no no no no no don't use words i don't know no no no that's not it it's just the like the trendy like when people just hop on it i mean i guess i am maybe just a hater but i didn't how what other words do you hate when that's such a weird word to be like i hate it's like it's like the uh it's like the cost no but it just becomes all of a sudden this word goes viral on tiktok and then every single team every single person yeah that's how internet trends work i know and i but i judge the people that just i'm on hank's side follow them and just like wait use it without sometimes when it's funny it's funny But if you're just like, all right, everyone's using demure, I'm going to use demure. I agree with what you're saying in that when everyone latches onto a word and it just becomes like you have a word that you never see and then you see it every single second for like a week straight, that's annoying.
But do you specifically not like the word demure no just just the usage of it yeah i just the people that are using it i thought you were triggered by just the word no no you know that something's up when you've when you've never heard a word and then all of a sudden you hear it three times in the same day right yeah and like this is the world conspiring against me with this word and and obviously this has happened you know over five years, but every brand and team account has gotten super cute, and it's like they just are the first ones to hop on. Chuggy.
And kill it instantly. Very cutesy, very mindful, very demure.
Oh, that's the TikTok. And you actually kind of...
I crushed it. What kind of look? Do the amigliata.
What's a drink of choice? What is that? Spagliato. There's so many things that happen.
That one is old. I just said it.
Wait, what's the last one? Ooh, stunning. See, there's so many things that happen in our day-to-day lives now that are objectively not funny.
Correct.

But because you've all seen the same video, it's funny.

Yeah.

And it's also, what it's become is it's just funny.

If it's funny for like one single second, then everyone's like, well, this will be funny for the next thousand seconds.

That's basically what you're talking about.

Who do you think is, we should do an anonymous poll.

Anonymous, pardon my take poll.

Who is the most demure quarterback in the NFL? Reserveerved, modest, and shy typically used of a woman. Deshaun Watson? Reserved, modest, and shy.
Justin Herbert. Yeah.
I think he's the most demure. Dak? Jalen Hurts.
No. Jalen Hurts is demure as fuck.
Shut the fuck up. No, he's not's not Yes he is No he's not He's not He's not demure at all He's got a fucking ass that he flaunts everywhere Brock Purdy He's literally just existing with that ass Well What that ass do Alright Boeing My cool thumps.
Thank you. Back.
Back on tour this weekend. Oasis? I think we might have to break into Oasis.
Hell yes, you have to. Me and Roan will just scream at each other in Liverpudlian accents.
Yes. Throw bottles and shit.
Manchester. They're not from Liverpool? I'm pretty sure you're going to get fought over what you just said.
Okay, what part of i think you're about to get what part of the fuck what part of london is manchester because i know that liverpool is west london i think it's south london okay south london manchester okay my mistake i just i don't know yeah they're from manchester pft oh my god okay i didn't know my london they're gonna get apologize because liverpool is like that's where the bales are from well that's that's also liverpool is one of the places in in the uk that i feel like it's like uh someone from texas yeah they're like fuck you yeah i'm not i'm not from england i'm from liverpool yeah if someone was from texas and you're like oh yeah they're just you know a yankee yeah patty the bad york yeah yeah that type of my mistake so yeah manchester accents uh but yeah it'll be fun. DC Friday, Philly, Saturday night.
Tickets on sale.

Pup Punk Rocks, R-A-W-X.com. Love it.
And maybe some guest appearances. After parties? After party at Barstool Sansom in Philly.
Awesome bar. Yeah, should be good.
Love that. Max will be in Philly, but he will not be at the show.
He's moving. He's moving.
He's moving. I have a wedding.
I have a wedding. I know, but in case people connect any dots and see Max is in Philly, he will not be at the show because he doesn't care about you.
That's not true. That's not true.
Hank, are you going? No. Would you just ask for the after parties? I was just curious if there would be one.
Would you like to go, Hank? Where is it? Philly. Where is the? The people in Philly would go nuts for Hank.
Oh, my God. They love you in Philly.
DC in Philly. I do love the Barstool bar in Sansom Street.
Yeah. It's a great bar.
Okay, PFT, your hot seat, Coltron. My hot seat is John Cena.
He's on the hot seat big time. Retirement tour, John Cena.
I don't know if you saw the recent bombshell report that came out in rolling stone today but apparently john cena follows multiple white supremacist twitter accounts oh no now the person that wrote this i don't know if they saw that john cena follows everybody yeah he follows twitter 700 000 people i also think you could have found something even more weird damaging than white supremacist twitter accounts okay because there's a bunch bunch of those. Follows me.
I don't even follow them. Oh, really? That's a power move.
Also- That's 857,000. 857,000 people.
Is this person going to next tell us that Joey Batista follows some white supremacists? Taye Diggs probably known white supremacists. Yeah.
Now, just saying that out loud made me realize John Cena's account should be locked, shouldn't it? Why? Because you can't see him. Oh, yeah, true.
You can't see any of his activity. I can't believe that someone actually wrote this story and didn't point out the fact that they just follow every single person.
They might have. I didn't read the entire story.
I just saw the first part of it, and they listed the accounts that he followed. But yeah, he follows 800- He follows like half of Twitter.
Didn't we ask him about that? And he said it's a blessing to be able to see so many different people's perspectives.

I just assume whenever someone does that,

they just don't run their own account.

Like, I don't think he's ever probably logged into his account.

Yeah, that's probably true.

Someone else is running it, following everyone.

But yeah, somebody else, dig through John Cena's Twitter followers

and just see how bad you can make it for him.

All right, so ex-hate speech is so common that celebs like John Cena's Twitter followers and just see how bad you can make it for him. All right.

So ex-hate speech is so common in celebs like John Cena follow white nationalists.

This is, I mean, they have to mention it, right?

Oh, I'm not paying for this article.

Never mind.

Oh, wait.

They have to mention it.

I'm sure they do.

Okay.

Either way, John Cena hot seat.

Oh, yeah.

They do mention it. Cena follows tons of users on the site, more than 850,000 at this point.
What is his timeline? It looks insane. Somebody should do one of those accounts that updates you on who he's following and who he's unfollowing.
Yeah. Because I want to know who he adds.
I actually just want to know how bad you have to be at Twitter for John Cena to unfollow you. Yeah.

I don't think he's ever unfollowed.

What would stand out enough where John Cena's like, no, not my company.

I'll take the 860,000 other people I follow.

What was the chick's name that Kyle Kuzma followed?

Shit, I unfollowed her.

Fuck.

It was...

Today's?

No, it was not Today's.

It was something even better.

I still follow AJ Today's.

For research?

It was... Did she have a kid? Shit.
she did wow congrats to her uh kyle kuzma follows oh man it was so funny it was one of those ones that usually like you just can't follow just based on the username like some of the usernames you can get away with because you just you know can get a little a little, oh, what do they do? Who knows? All right. We'll figure it out.
Keep going. Your cool throne.
My cool throne is, hang on. I just got an alert.
Oh, here it is. Yep.
Ms. Thick Overlord.
Ms. Thick Overload.
Overload. Ms.
Thick Overload. Thick Overload ENT.
So she's ear, nose, and throat. I think we knew the last part of that oh I love it I love it uh my cool throne is going to be Angel Hernandez oh what happened because he's not statistically the worst major league baseball umpire ever who would that be that honor goes to Scott Berry he was behind home plate in uh the last innings of the Cubs Pirates gameates game yesterday.
Cubs might be back. Cubs are beating them, what, 14-5? 18.
18-5, 18-6. They were up.
Kind of used up all their runs. So a position player from the Pirates got in to pitch, as you do sometimes blow it, like these.
And there was a pitch that was 15 inches out of the strike zone that was called a strike because he kind of lobbed it in. Also, I'm not gonna blame him you just want to get out of there you want to get the fuck out of there at

that point but it would also suck if you were up to bat and you know that your contract is parsed

based on like every single statistical measurement that you can make correct and so every strike or

strikeout or if you get into a bad count unnecessarily that probably pisses you off too

but i do stand with scott barry in this instance just because just call everything a strike. Right.
It should be like, okay, no matter what. If you're a batter, you should have the ability to take an intentional strikeout.
Right. Just like you have the ability to intentionally walk someone.
Yes, agreed. By the way, Nathan Peterman just got cut.
None of these really make sense though because they all end up getting back on the team. You know what I mean? Nathan Peterman is going to be practice squad, is he not? Is he eligible? I don't know.
He's been in the league for a long time. I don't know what the rules behind that are.
I think if you have five or six years. Okay, my hot seat, I have two.
One is dolphins. The animal? Yes.
There's a report out of Tokyo that they found and trapped a sexually frustrated dolphin that had allegedly raped over 200 people. No, 45 people.
Over 200 miles. Sexually frustrated is one way to put it.
Yeah. I think he would be sexually satisfied at that point.
This dolphin went on a multi-year rampage sexually assaulting beachgoers about 200 miles west of Tokyo. Dolphin will reportedly bite people and rub its genitals on them if they get close.
Teabagging. He's just been teabagging.
Yeah. Is that really? I don't know.
It seems like just boys being boys. It does.
Peyton Manning won co-MVP after doing something like this in college. Correct.
Yes, that is true. People don't talk about that.
My other hot seat is Will Compton memorabilia. So I'm in the business now.
We're going to create a museum for Will Compton, our good friend, in the handicapped stall of the back bathroom in the barstool chicago office i've already procured one of his old jerseys but if you have any will compton memorabilia i am buying i want his teeth i would love his i want to get i want i will pay top dollar for will compton's old teeth anything will compton related we want to put up in the museum which again will be in the handicap stall of the back bathroom of the Chicago office. When you get those veneers put in, they take out all your teeth, right? I don't know.
I think they shave them down. Are they shaved? I don't understand how it works, but they do shave them.
It's your real teeth because I've also wondered that. I think they shave them down and then they put the veneers in front.
If somebody can do a, like, you know, you go to the dentist and you do the plaster and they give you the mouth. Yes.
Will Compton's dentist, please hit us up. Will Compton's dentist, please hit us up because we'd like to buy a plaster mold of his old teeth.
I want to just. Precap.
I want to have one of the greatest museums we've ever put up. I think it would be the greatest.
We'll sell tickets. The only.
Yeah. The only museum.
That we've ever put up. Yes.
That's true. Give tours.
Yeah. Yeah.
Gift tours yeah yeah gift shop yeah i like it tours while someone's shitting have an audio extra one of those audio pieces that you can put in we can just release a podcast actually if all three black friday we'll do a uh we'll do a personalized tour while will shitting i like that yeah and we can record it and then that way anybody that ever goes into that bathroom in the future they can can just play that episode of the podcast. And it's like, you're getting the tour of Will Compton.
Yeah. If all three stalls are available in that bathroom, go to Will Compton museum.
No, but before, before the museum existed, are you going for the handicap? Yeah. Usually.
Yeah. Yeah.
In, in this office. Yes.
I've just wondered that I usually do too, but I think the correct move. I've wondered because I've thought, I've realized that most people probably do that.
The correct move if you're going for least trafficked is definitely the middle. I think the middle always gets the least amount of traffic.
Yeah, I don't care about the traffic as much. I just care about the luxury.
Space. Yeah, you feel like you're in a penthouse.
And now you're going to get to be in a museum. Yeah.
Who gets to shit in a museum? Us. That's us.
My cool throne is us, podcasters, because Jason Kelsey and Travis Kelsey signed a $100 million deal. Love that.
Good for them. How does that put us on the cool throne? That means the market has changed, bitch.
Value goes up. I think that means we just get another bored ape in our paycheck next week.
Yeah, we can drive a hard line in the negotiation process. We should allow private equity to be able to invest in part of my take.
Saudis. I'd like to see the guaranteed money on that.
I would as well. I'd also like to see if there's any notes on who has to be dated.
There's an escape clause in there? Hank, you have to start dating Rihanna. Come on, dude.
How's the J-Lo thing going? That's not shit. Did she get back to you? No, I don't think so.
Dude, I want to get the 100 million. All right, listen.
We have a lot of famous women that listen to our podcast. Please reach out to us and we'll do a dating show for Hank.
Yes. But it's strictly based on who the most famous person is.
A million followers or more. Yeah.
Actually, that would be a great series. Yes, it would.
Hank. I'm down for that.
Okay. Would you be intimidated dating somebody that was way more famous and rich than you? No.
No. Fuck no.
That'd be great. Yeah.
They Schumer Why not she's famous I'm just going to throw this out here Hank Not political AOC yes AOC we know that you love AOC's Yep Would you date any singer Any famous singer singer? Probably. Chapel Rhone.
Sure. Liz.
Talented. Sure.
Nice. I don't think Chapel would be into you.
Adele, who's getting married to you. I love Adele.
You're not her, too. I love Adele.
That's Chet Hayes' territory. Gwen Stefani.
Yes. Bangers.
I feel like she has kids that are my age.

Sexy Red.

She might be too much of a thought for me.

Billy Strings.

But I mean, Hank, think about it.

Billy Strings. He's married.

But what if he said,

you know what, this isn't working out for me. Hank, you're the one for me.

Probably not.

I'd go on a mandate with him.

Okay.

Who's your new guy? Didn't you find a new musician? Oasis? Oasis, yeah. It's new with this crazy new band.
You guys are like, you can have multiple musicians that you like. Would you date both of the Gallagher brothers at the same time? I'm a Liam guy.
Are you? But he's not someone you date. That's just like a fling.
Yeah. Okay.
There's a very funny video that I saw yesterday of him talking to a fourth grade class.

Oh, yeah.

So good.

And they were like, okay, you have any questions for Liam?

And one kid was like, yeah, do you get, what does he say?

Do you get treats after?

Yeah, you get treats after you do a good concert.

And he's like, sort of.

Yeah, of sorts.

Sweets.

Yeah, sweets. Yeah.
Okay, Huey, your hot seat, cool throne. Yeah, my hot seat.
The Detroit Tigers, particularly Javi Baez. Oh, my guy.
So Javi Baez will be out for the rest of the season this year with right hip surgery. That doesn't sound good.
No, and this completes his third year out of a six-year contract with the Tigers. In three years with the Tigers, he's ranked as the second-worst hitter in baseball among 285 players who stepped up to the plate at least 250 times.
Yep. And in three years, he has a total of 36 home runs.
And he has three years left on that contract, right around $75 million. Still paid to him and it's just a bad contract all around another reminder of how bad it's been and we're not out of the storm yet we still have to deal with that big money is that a win for the cubs yeah oh yeah so the the cubs essentially they can sleep at night knowing that they got rid of all their other good players because they're like at least we didn't keep this one guy.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. And Pete Crow Armstrong, not exactly a hitter, but he did have an inside the park home run.
Did it in 14 seconds the other night. It was pretty fucking fast.
Yeah. Pretty cool.
Yeah. But cool thrown.
Reese's. Particularly, Angel Reese.
Oh, okay. The new sponsor.
You love WMA.

Nice.

That was good.

The new sponsor of Reese's.

They've dropped a collection, a merch, jerseys, the whole nine.

Yeah.

I'm sure some candy is going to be around the corner.

Maybe a basketball-shaped Reese's coming, potentially.

Big things coming.

It tastes like sour grapes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

She also, speaking of Angel Reese, we might be, she's also on the cool throne, but we might be on the hot throne. She has a podcast.
Yeah, she does have a podcast. She does? She's just.
Unapologetically Angel. Yeah, unapologetically.
Hank, what about. Dropping tea.
What if you, no, I think she says she's clocking tea. Clocking tea.
She's clocking tea because this is a problem in the podcast space. A lot of people with the blogs think that they clocked a tea, but if you clock your own tea before they clock your tea, then they don't actually have the real tea because you've already clocked it yourself.
Got it. Clock and tea.
Would you date Angel Reese? Yeah. Okay.
Here we go. We'll make the intro.
Here we go. Chai Barbie.
Yeah. Huey would be so upset.

I'd be supportive.

I'd be supportive.

That would be a power couple.

That would be a power couple.

Yeah.

Hank, you got to start.

I think you'll hire kids.

We got to milk you.

The tagline for her podcast.

I want to milk you for everything.

Let's milk you.

Yeah, what's your tagline? What they going to say now. Oh, nice.
I like that. That's a Jason Tatum quote, right? Wait, what? That's a Jason Tatum quote.
No, Seth Curry. No, Jason Tatum.
He invented that. You're not going to respond.
Okay, he's not taking the bait. That was smart of him.
Point Hank. Okay, good job, Huey.
Let's get to our Mount Rushmore. We have the Mount Rushmore of everything.
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One also has other delicious flavors like birthday cake, maple glazed donut and blueberry blueberry cobbler find all one bars at a retailer near you or on amazon.com okay mount rushmore time uh our good friend jerry o'connell is coming up he is in the booth though for this mount rushmore so he can he can talk at any point uh chime in if he needs to he's he's his best friend huey he's not talking right now jerry just talk so people know your your your fantasy preview is coming up in a second okay so there's jerry we're gonna do the mount rushmore of everything mount rushmore of everything now hank yes you run the risk of officially losing yeah i think it's over if you lose this mount rushmore you are now down four points to pft i think if pft comes in second in either of the next two it's over yes yeah are you i i have to avoid last place like the plague was there any issues with how last mount rushmore was voted on no issues pft had a good a good, very basic looking draft. He did a good job.
Was there any issue with the phrasing of memes tweet? No, I mean, memes brought it up to my attention. He was like, oh, I realize I usually do every single Mount Rushmore we've ever done in the history of this podcast has been prefaced with who won today's Mount Rushmore yesterday memes and accidents happen he's a busy guy he's got a lot of stuff going on he just phrased it uh what got left off the list with the poll and I don't believe this but some people online the the few the proud the the Hank fans uh very few they brought to my attention that based off of the wording of the tweet people might have been voting off whose has got like who had the worst list oh I don't necessarily think that I don't either I don't either yeah so either at first when memes brought it up I was like maybe there's something to this maybe maybe memes is right but then Hank was adamant about it not affecting the result of the poll so I'm gonna go what hank says yeah good guy hank so friday you might be depending on how this goes you might be picking out of a hat yeah i'm assuming that's gonna happen okay this is pft's pick uh so i'm sure he's got a good draft what you've wanted to do mount rushmore everything no we talked about this in the group chat like a couple weeks ago into the season we're gonna do the mount rush more of, we had the conversation.
Well, this could be the last Mount Rushmore of the season. Could be the Mount Rushmore of everything.
But what? Yeah. Are you saying we didn't have a conversation yesterday where you said, what about Mount Rushmore of everything? Well, that was one of the ones that we had said we would do the last week.
Right. But you brought it up.
Fact of fiction, this is the last week. We had the choice.
I don't think I suggested it, but it was on camera. We'll see.
We'll look at the tape. Okay.
I think what's important is that Hank's sportsmanship is so good this year. Yeah.
I said you should pick what we do tomorrow, and you said everything. I don't know why you're in denial.
The Mount Rushmore of everything. That's kind of weird.
Well, the good news is, Hank, you have the first pick. I do.
And that's huge in this it is huge huge so mount rushmore of everything hank trying to stay alive what is your first pick i am going to go with having sex okay okay you're learning i thought for sure he was going to take boobs i was like boobs are. Boobs are still on the table, right? Yeah, boobs are on the table.
Yeah, of course. Okay, good pick.
Good pick, Hank. Having sex.
I'll take boobs. Okay.
I'll take boobs. That's a good second pick.
Good second pick, Max. Great pick.
So I'm up third, huh? You're up third. You know what? you know what i'm just gonna say football okay football is

my football is my one one yeah it's my first pick yeah no that's a great one that's a great one it sounds like you guys are pandering a little bit with yours but that's okay yeah all right so i have two picks you if you had to choose one for the rest of your life you'd choose football football yeah absolutely I'm not having any more kids. I'd take football.
Easy. Easy.
Okay. I'll go with music.
Music. Need music.
Mm-hmm. And personal pick, ice cream.
Interesting. Music and ice cream.
Music and ice cream. Music and ice cream.
All ice cream all right my second pick i'm gonna go with beer okay so i got football and beer yeah i mean i love i love ice cream so i don't i love i would take ice cream over beer i would take beer for the rest of your life i think i would take beer over ice cream yeah uh i'm also gonna i did zero prep for it same i don't have I don't have a single list of anything.

I'm not feeling good about music and ice cream.

I'm going to go with movies.

Oh, movies.

What's your favorite movie of all time, Max?

I'm going to either go with Kangaroo Jack, Stand By Me, Jerry Maguire, Scream.

Just any of those, really.

Yeah, those are good picks.

Hey, Jerry, for when I beat Hank in Mount Rushmore and he finished his last finishes last can you just give us a quick you guys want to see a dead body were you mad that we didn't pick that line jerry when we did the quotes um i just thought i just thought you missed uh you missed an opportunity you missed you missed points on the board you left you left points off the board

how did you say that phrase how do you say that quote um typically i charge money on cameo for this but i'll give it to you guys for free you guys want to go see a dead body oh that's good chills wow wow it's hank it's a little more fucked up coming from a skinny jerry o'connell It's better when it's husky

Hank

I think you're up. All right, I'm going to go with a dog that loves you.
Okay. And winning the lottery.
Yeah. Winning the lottery.
Winning the lottery. I don't like 90% of people that win the lottery get divorced, dead, or broke within like two years.
Well, they got to do the right take they don't don't take the lump sum or no you do take you do take take the lump sum and and stay anonymous yeah yeah you take the lump sum you're saying you take the best annuity where you get paid like every year for the next 50 years dollar tomorrow is not gonna be a dollar next week yeah you invest it biden you invest it okay winning the lottery winning the lottery and a dog that loves you okay max fuck um i weren't gonna take dogs no i just didn't think i forgot that i was up um i'm gonna go with meatballs all right i had as a fourth round grade but that's okay no i had as a fourth round grade too but i couldn't think of a third so i just thought i would go with it now okay okay i'm gonna take living in the good old usa okay living in the united states let's go america yep and oh no you have one pick all right i will go so i have i have music and ice cream let me just go I'll just go drugs and gambling. My last two picks.
Solid. Yeah.
All right. What kind of drugs? Even it out.
Any kind. All drugs.
Drugs and gambling. Okay.
Prilosec. Sure.
Okay. Helps.
Afrin. Yeah.
Actually, yeah. Afrin should be on this.
Yeah. I mean, you could do it the PG way.
Like, hey, it would suck if we didn't have Tylenol and antibiotics, and we would all be dead when we were, like, 12 years old from black lung. Or you could do the other way and be like, hey, weed's pretty nice.
Yeah, it is. And other stuff.
It is nice. So my pick? Yeah.
I'm going to go with family. Oh, nice.
Family. I feel like family's a strong one your family if you don't have your family Hank was lucky enough to be able to bring his dad in from Mount Rushmore earlier this week that's the kind of thing that you got to cherish family it's true all right Max uh I'm gonna go with part of my take oh nice bit nice.
It's a bit narcissistic. Wow.
Okay. I should have gone with the other one.
First podcast off the board. Hank is really thinking hard.
There's a lot on there. There's one that you really love.
Vacation. There it is.
You got to pick it. I was going to go.
Is it done? No. Yeah, it's done.
Draft over. Yeah.
What were you going to pick it i was gonna go is it done no yeah it's done draft over yeah what were you gonna pick well pft we were talking about how pft like used to back in the day like try and be funny because it's a comedy podcast and pick funny picks yeah um but he kind of stopped doing that and just well when we made a punishment and i started coming in last place because people don't like the outlier picks then you gotta you to adapt to the game, Hank. But we were just reminiscing on how old PFT used to be so funny.
But I was thinking about... I knew this was going to be the line of attack.
Truth in comedy, dude. There's truth in comedy.
Comedy is true. It's true.
But I was going to go with just warm clothes out of the dryer. Oh.
But I was pf now hang vacation now hang out hank real quick that wouldn't happen to be the first thing that pops up when you google what are the best things on earth would it that wouldn't happen to be the first thing on the first link that you click on you needed help on the mount rushmore i've been doing oppo research on hank for the last like six mount rushmore drafts and hank always goes with the whatever that first list on ranker.com is you yes you live everything's the easiest mount rushmore to do yeah and i didn't use any of them you typed in what are the best things on earth and i didn't use any of them fact or fiction but you wanted to use no you wanted to He was putting on clothes of the dryer Yeah I thought about it Things that got left off Buffalo wings Pizza Steak Melted cheese Melted cheese Money Coffee Coffee Great one Jerry The F-15 Eagle Yup Video games Yeah I was gonna say video games And then part of I saw a part of my take The logo logo, and I was like, I should just say that. Yeah.
Oh, you know what's a big miss? Dingers. Yeah, dingers are great.
Big miss. Getting a good night's sleep.
Yeah. Sleep.
Sleep is a very good one. Fast car.
Boats. Cars.
That's right. Boats are cool.
Yeah. Yeah, boats are okay.

Cheese?

Selling your boat is good.

Yeah.

Oh, you said melted cheese.

Being on a boat is cool.

Being on a boat is fun.

Being on a boat is awesome.

Nobody took vaginas.

No.

Blowjobs?

I guess that's in sex.

What else?

Chicks.

Fuck.

Chicks got left off.

Chicks.

Chicks.

Chicks.

Chicks.

Chicks.

Chicks.

Chicks.

Chicks.

Chicks.

Chicks.

Chicks.

Chicks.

Chicks.

Chicks.

Chicks.

Chicks.

Chicks.

Chicks.

Chicks.

Chicks.

Chicks.

Chicks.

Chicks.

Chicks.

Chicks.

Chicks.

Chicks.

Chicks.

Chicks.

Chicks. Chicks.
Chicks. Chicks.
Chicks. Chicks.
Chicks. Chicks.
Chicks. Chicks.
Chicks. Chicks.
He's getting paid, getting drunk. College? No.
Come on. There's a lot of work.
Yeah, but not really. March Madness? Basketball? Pretty good.
Football clears, though. Football does clear.
Golf? Definitely golf. Jerry, what else did we miss? I coffee being retired PFT said vagina that's a good one sugar walls that's about it coffee and vagina anything else french fries friesers.
Burgers. Soup.
Soup would have been a tough pick, I think, on this one. Oh, getting out of a speeding ticket, some sort of traffic violation.
Canceling plans. Oh, that's a good one.
Hank, what was that little smirk for? I'm going to look up on this list of this thing. Oh, man.
He's going full AI. You picked some of the things on the list.
No, I didn't. No, I didn't.
Family? Oh, shit. Family wasn't on the list.
this thing oh man he's going full ai you you picked some of the things on the list he did no i didn't family oh shit it wasn't on the list i just i'll be honest i looked at the top thing on the list and i saw i was putting on warm clothes on the dryer family might be on the list but family i feel like that's fairly generic that is pretty generic interesting no i don't i don't need a computer to do my list so do we hold on yourself do we remember what's in the hat if we have to on Friday do the hat?

It is.

We're going to have to go back and look it up.

The nine darter is not possible.

We talked about it.

You have one veto.

Okay, so that's going to be the nine darter.

It's rough and rowdy ring girl.

And calendar shoot.

And calendar shoot.

I know.

Well, rough and rowdy ring girl and photo shoot while you're wearing the rough and rowdy ring girl outfit. It's winning a season of college football.
On Heisman. I thought we agreed that everything should be a stream.
Yeah, true. But Ruff and Rowdy is a stream.
All right. What was LeBron's points? LeBron's points.
But this is where it is. What? What? It is what it is.
You haven't lost yet, Hank. It is what it is.
What?

We go through these things.

We say, all right, we're going to pick a punishment.

Everyone pick a punishment.

Then we push it off.

Then we push it off.

Then we say, all right, everyone pick a punishment.

Everyone picks a punishment.

We say, this is going in a hat.

After they go in a hat, we then decide everything has to be a stream, even though half the things in the hat aren't a stream.

And so even though there's things in the hat, which we all agreed upon, somehow it's going to have to be something that's a stream, even though some of the things in the hat aren't a stream and so even though there's things in the hat which we all agreed upon somehow it's going to have to be something that's a stream even though some of the things in the hat aren't a stream most of the things are streams though the rough and rowdy one is not but like you guys are going to be like it has to be rough and rowdy is a stream buddy right but the calendar shoot like well that's just behind that's for tiktok thing is not a stream so why don't why don't we just why don't we get it to just three stream things or four stream things? Okay. I know.
I'm just saying it is. And I'm obviously lashing out because I have to do the punishment.
But it's like we come to this agreement before the season starts for a reason. So then to then change it after the season's over.
I feel like you were part of the conversation that said it should be a stream. But that still.
But before still. But you were, but like before your moment right now, you were like, yeah, it should be a stream.

But now that you lost, you're like.

But why didn't we decide this before?

Okay.

So it's very simple.

What's, what other punishments are not streams?

I don't know.

TikTok one?

I don't know.

We got to go back and check.

What do you think watching this live happen?

What's going through your head?

Hank, you want to call your daddy you haven't even lost yet hank get a landline no i'm i'm fine with whatever i'm fine with whatever i just the only one that i would veto is nine daughter because that's literally no one could do that except for like michael van gerwin i think oh michael i think you do could do it. If I have a veto, it's going to that.
I think you could do it. We wouldn't do maybe the exact distance.
If you were a little closer, you could probably do it. Would be an electric stream.
You said I have a veto, right? Yeah, you do. Yeah.
Okay. Good Mount Rushmore.
How do you feel about your Mount Rushmore, Hank?

I think it's over. I think, again, new PFT has figured it out.
He's going to come in second. Yeah.
No laughs, but good. It would be a shame if I actually come in first.
I'm feast or famine. I'm like Adam Dunn.
I either hit a dinger, get first place, or come in last place. It would be a shame if the AWL has made Friday's Mount Rushmore do or die.
You can't. You're skewing the vote.
You're skewing the vote. It would be a shame.
Election fraud. It would be a shame.
I'm not involved. You literally just said that it would be a shame.
Stop the steal. Max, do you agree with me? That would be a real shame.
It would be such a shame. And hey, I'm willing to take away some of my points here.
If I want to get penalized for this, I'll get penalized. I heard that you're shipping this podcast down to Central and South America and getting all these new voters in, trying to weigh it for you guys.
I don't want them to vote. I want them to vote.
This is Democat. This is Libcat.
I want to vote the right way. I want everyone to vote the right way.
It just stinks that the AWLs are going to get a less. Jerry, invite Big Cat to your next Kamala rally.
One less Mount Rushmore. Yeah, one less Mount Rushmore.
We won't do a Mount Rushmore Friday. No? I mean, if it's over, it's over.
True. It'll be over.
Good job, Hapty. Congrats.
Congrats. Hank, you did great.
Thanks. And we'll see what happens with the vote tomorrow.
Yeah. I'm sure memes will get the caption right.
It'll be fine. Yeah.

Okay.

Let's get to our interview with Jerry O'Connell.

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Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, I'm not done Very

Very very

Jerry Jerry Jerry Jerry

Very very

Jerry Wow there I'm not done very very very I'm blushing Jerry Jerry Jerry Jerry Jerry very very Jerry very very very that's what if the whole what if the whole podcast was me just doing that and then I just said all right thanks for coming very special guest Jerry O'Connell oh man thank you so much that's so kind of you I can't believe I think I got three more berries than. Yeah, you did.
I think that was the max amount of berries. I don't think I can go further than that.
I speak on behalf of all AWLs. When you popped up on that show, I was by myself in a corporate apartment naked, actually, because I didn't bring many clothes to me.
So I had to wash like my underwear. I had to wash everything and then make sure I put it in the dryer so I had underwear the next day.
And I went fucking berserk, fellas. Naked.
That was crazy. Yeah.
It was fun, yeah. That was unreal.
That was unreal. So Jerry's here.
So funny. This show has been our little secret as AWLs's like big time i'm so i was so proud of you guys i i had an overwhelming feeling of pride and i gotta tell you as an actor sometimes you see people moving up and you're like oh man like why aren't i in deadpool i i go to the gym and it's so different like with you guys i had such i almost cried i appreciate it was yeah it was very cool and it was very fun for our fans to see us in a show that we all love and have been watching for a very long time so Jerry fantasy football preview yeah uh we have to set the table though because Jerry is such a committed guest and part of this show that we text him we're like hey fantasy football preview we're gonna do it the the week before labor day uh and he's like great i'll fly in anytime uh you flew in when so tell us what the last 12 hours have been because you have your briefcase i think you went to planet fitness this morning uh yeah um when did you fly in are we a planet fitness podcast can be now, yeah.
We're a fitness podcast. Yeah, I have a membership to the old PF, and I can go to anyone really in the world.
Universal. Yeah, I papered the Universal one.
And I just went there. I just did a little lift.
You flew it? You took the red eye? I took the red eye on you And so you landed at O'Hare at like 6 a.m. Yeah.
Went to Planet Fitness. That's right.
And then came here. Chest and buys.
Chest and buys. What's in your briefcase? So in my briefcase, this is like just stuff I bring because for those who don't know, for those who may be like first seeing me here and Huey, I should probably introduce myself.
My name is Jerry. I'm sort of the fantasy expert here.

I'm part of my tape.

I don't think he's in the booth right now.

No, he's right there.

Okay, I can't see him.

Yeah, and I don't think it's sort of.

You are.

Well, yeah.

Huey, do you have any clue who I am?

Oh, there he is.

There he is.

He's tucked away.

Yeah, I know who you are.

How would you describe Jerry O'Connell to somebody that's never watched TV before? Or movies? We've got headphones issues. Oh.
He's used to be an actor. No! No, no, no.
His big hits were in the past. Oh, no, no, no.

He's married to a supermodel.

Yep.

Fact.

One of the most beautiful ever.

Thank you.

And he lost some weight.

Okay.

Well, yeah.

I mean, I didn't.

You were fat.

Well, I was a husky.

First of all, I was husky.

I was never fat.

That's true.

You were a husky child.

I was a husky child First of all, I was husky. I was never.
That's true. You were a husky child.
I was a husky child. And I just grew, you know.
But listen, by the way, I should also note that a lot of the people here on this podcast are in incredibly good shape. When I hugged a lot of you fellas this morning, I felt firmness.
Yeah. Big Cat cat again the best shape of our lives we're about

number 40 because what your body when you're 40 that's your body for the rest of your life yeah yeah sweet so jerry what is in the briefcase so in the briefcase i just bring um so i i manage your fantasy league with the um the mic still on in the booth yeah guys um i i know i used to be an actor, Huey, but you got to turn the mic off when I'm in here.

I can't believe he said i used to be an actor yeah he's on tv every day huey that's huey i mean you know i i mean i listen to all the nba hole podcasts before you come here i'm a big fan and you hit me with the he used to be an actor i was in kang Jack, motherfucker. That's right.
Yeah. And his name's being tossed around for the next Marvel movie.
That's true. That's not true.
No, we just tossed it around. We just tossed it around.
Hey, Jerry. I heard that Jerry is, he's in consideration.
Yeah. It's not true.
I'm not, I would require me to go to Planet Fitness a lot more. It would require me to get a private trainer at Planet Fitness.
Yeah, you get some steroids like Hank. No steroids.
So you got your briefcase here. I got my briefcase.
I love the briefcase because you get on a plane, I assume, first class? Do we do first class? No, exit row. Exit row.
Okay, because you're a hero. You're a first responder in case something happens.
I like that. No, I just, it's a red eye.

And I mean, I bought the ticket myself and the price to buy a first class ticket at last

minute was just the price of a used automobile.

So I just went to exit row.

Did you raw dog the fight?

I actually took a couple of Tylenol PMs. oh bad boy yeah be careful with those well you have to time them out perfectly you have to wait till the flight is definitely leaving and it's going you know and you're boarding and then you just chew them and just get in your exit row kick your shoes off and then get ready for the fantasy podcast yeah so you got your briefcase and i love that you bring that briefcase on playing because it looks very official looks very business like yeah but what's in it um so uh i mean really what's in it like i mean i have my shorts that i wore at planet fitness this morning i have a rough draft of what i'm going to say here today and then um i have the uh final draft i also have some deodorant here that I put on.

Get some of this.

Yeah.

Please.

Yeah.

Let's do the belly as well.

Did you, does your wife know you're not home right now?

So listen, here's the deal.

My wife knew I was coming to do this podcast.

Okay.

Now I have to talk to you guys because I manage your fantasy team that is in the high

I'm sorry. here's the deal my wife knew i was coming to do this podcast okay now i have to talk to you guys because i manage your fantasy team that is in the high roller league yes okay so i know it costs a substantial amount of money and i've been managing it i think this is my third year prayers for demar if those who don't remember that's uh that's a call back to um we were in the championship game when Damar Hamlin went down.
Say it. Press for Damar.
And we were trailing by, I think, five or six points. And the person who I was playing said, that's it.
I'm champion. And I was not on the text chain.
And I, we were talking about the negotiations that were going to happen. And the negotiation was, they had Josh Allen as a quarterback and we had Joe Burrow.
I think it might've been the other way around. We might've had Josh.
Either way, we were going to win. I think we had, I think we had whoever scored first and was getting ready to to light it.
OK, so then we did. Yeah.
Yeah. Because we had Joe Burrow.
And then the other person I was playing who I didn't know, but is obviously some sort of celebrity and high roller because the buy in is pretty significant. Said I'm the champion.
And I was like, no, no, no. You got to fight this.
You got to fight this. We need to complete an entire game.

So then it was decided that the following week we would play Joe Burrow and Josh Allen.

And the next week, Joe Burrow was playing, I don't know, whoever has a tough defense.

Yeah, we got screwed.

Yeah.

But prepares for tomorrow.

Right.

And we lost.

And listen, I want to come here today because you were kind enough to put me on the text chain with all those celebrities not going well tossed in there um i think it's going pretty well i i don't know i i was actually a little bit worried that we were going to get kicked out of the league the other day because and jerry i love your initiative i love your passion when it comes to fancy football but with jerry you took it upon yourself uh because you're you're a self self-starter. You said, I want everybody to be able to get some mock drafts in under the belt.
So let's figure out this order about a week before we do the draft. You win through mock drafts.
You know that, right? You mock draft win. Yes.
Yeah. You got to get reps in, right? You got to get reps in.
It's like anything else. So Jerry just sends a video out of nowhere to the group chat of himself shirtless uh at a beach somewhere it looks like you're at a beach and you've got a hat and you put all the names in the hat and the camera angle I don't know if you did this on purpose uh but the camera angle doesn't show below the belt whatsoever so it appears that you could be nude in this video I couldn't really see it was very sunny out and I was not wearing my glasses at the time so i couldn't really see anything right so jerry proceeds to do the the draft order and no one asked him to do this no one asked him to do it but again i i don't have a problem but somebody needs to take the bull by the horns yeah get the ball rolling we didn't have a draft order yeah we didn't have a draft order less than a week yeah so jerry does this video and uh he puts all the names into the hat and then he reaches down and pulls out the first name and jerry what is the first team that you drafted it's our team oh so he picked us first overall hell yeah you can imagine the reaction from the group chat though it varied from like oh he cheated he took his own team to somebody saying who is this right why is this man doing our draft order right so jerry had to clear up real quick.
Yeah, unlike Huey, they didn't say he used to be an actor. They just said, who is this? Yeah, but then Jerry pointed out very helpfully, I was in Kangaroo Jack.
I'm a fantasy football expert. And then he posted a picture of him and his lovely supermodel wife.
Yes. Who is very, very attractive, respectfully.
Hot. I'm a big fan of your wife.
I've been a big fan of your wife since I was yes 12 years old okay all of us have huge fan when i was 12 especially when we were 12 when i was 12 i was a massive 13 14 those were our yeah respectfully respectfully okay thank you knock it out of the park respectfully thank you uh so so jerry does the draft order and then there's a bunch of pushback against it and then then Jerry hops into the chat to defend himself, and he wins the chat over. Nice.
As you do. I think you won the chat over.
Eventually, they were like, okay, this guy's funny. I like him.
So what's the problem? So there's no problem right now, except I thought for a second we might get asked to leave the fantasy league. But I think you won us back over.
And now we're trying to decide whether or not to use Jerry's draft order or if to do a random. You have to.

Well, what are you going to do?

Just have a random mater pick all the picks?

Yeah.

Right now, we put it up to a vote, and it says, I think there's four votes for redoing the draft order and then one vote for keep Jerry's draft order.

All right.

Why don't you add all of us to the chain?

And just blow it up? Yeah, we'll stuff the ballot. Okay, we can do that i don't know would the vote still pull up show up though i don't think it would maybe not now jerry uh you did turn the group chat green yeah that was a sticking point for a lot of people yeah that's a dick move out of i think there are 13 or 14 people in this group chat jerry was the first non-iphone user yeah have you thought about getting you know like walter white and breaking bad has a second cell phone for dealing drugs you just have a fantasy football cell phone i'll never do it no ever i won't do it you're an android guy i'm an android guy that's it uh mostly because um my entire family are all apple people and i just want that like one degree of like they can't facetime me or get in touch oh that's smart it's like one degree of like we were trying to reach you dad and we couldn't reach you and if you have that android like just that one extra step it just it's just a little bit of freedom so i i had one other question before what was the dm you sent to max yesterday oh i i wanted to i just i i have some things that i want to say because i have to talk about who we're going to draft if we're still yeah no we're going to get we're going to get to it but listen i i also want to ask i would like to help out with the buy-in for this no like no listen if you would just whisper to me what one third would be don't say it on air because it's like it'll be upsetting how much it is.

So just $50,000.

What?

No, I'm just kidding.

Just whisper to me what it actually is.

I believe it.

You're not even going to be able to fly exit seat anymore.

So the math would be.

That's a tough fraction to do. I think he yeah um okay okay you know what why don't hold on why don't we take care of it let me um we'll handle this offline i think i can handle it let me call my wife and see if i can okay good yeah yeah because i actually had a question for her as well all right just give me one second maybe she's Maybe she's home.
She was introduced to the AWLs when we were on Grit Week. Give me one second here.
Okay. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please.
Hello? Honey, hey, you're live on PMT. It's Jerryerry huh uh you're live on that podcast that i do um the podcast that i'm always talking about and we listen to the bing bong guys uh yes they're the bing bong guys uh this is uh this is big cat this is pft Huey didn't know I was still an actor Becca, hello?

Yeah, hello? Yeah. Hey.
Can I, I was about, I was taking the kids to school. Okay, but hold on a second.
They, I want to join their fantasy league and it's going to cost. Hold on, can you call me back in one second? Call me back.
I think that went well. We'll call her back.
I think that's a maybe. I think that went well.
We'll call her back. It's not a no.
So, Jerry, I actually had a question about your wife, supermodel. Yeah.
Respectfully. She was introduced to AWLs because we were on Grit Week.
Sure. In LA.
You were in somewhere else. You were trying to get her to let us come over to watch Hard Knocks.

Right.

You tweeted out, hey, please let the fellas come over for Hard Knocks.

I'm not there.

My wife is not an AWL.

She quote tweeted and said, are these your bing bong friends?

Right.

And then all the AWLs introduced themselves to her in a respectful way.

What was her reaction to that? She doesn't really know what who you are what i do here at all um it's not like a secret relationship that i have with you guys it's just um you just drive to a park in secret and send videos to us that she doesn't well listen typically during the season you guys record on sundays for your monday show correct if max remembers to push push the button and that's like family time and my wife is pretty adamant about not making plans on Sundays. So if I do come and see you, it does have to be sort of off hours.
Yeah, sort of secretive here. Let me wait.
That wasn't enough time. Jerry she's dropping off the kids.
No, let me this is not going to go well again. She didn't say one Jerry.
She's dropping off the kids. This is not going to go well again.

She didn't say one minute.

She's going to hate us, Jerry.

She's going to hate us.

Hello?

Hey, honey.

Can you talk for like two minutes?

Okay.

Hi.

By the way, I should introduce you.

This is Big Cat and PFT.

They're huge fans.

Huge fans.

Big fans.

Huge fan, respectfully.

What the hell kind of a name does PFT stand for?

It's a long story.

We can get into it later.

It's pro football talk.

He left comments on, it doesn't matter, they they are are part of a fantasy league and i would like to join it is going to cost one-tenth of repairing our driveway jerry you've never won in fantasy i've not i came in second but remember demar hamlin the man with the heart condition say it fellas chris for tomorrow and remember that i came close what do you think no you get mad at the entire family if you get mad at everybody when you don't win what's the upside for us uh this could be a very victorious moment for all of us. I just need to, because we have a joint account, so you'll see if I send Venmo someone money.
Oh, hey. Sure, you walk around the house muttering about Kendrick Bourne.
You mutter. To yourself.
Your girls still play volleyball? Oh, yes. Stella Blue Coffee NIL deal for wherever they go to college.
We're getting an offer to pay the girls if they play volleyball. At the University of Wisconsin, actually.
That's the only place they can play. Yeah, they may be Div 4.
Okay. University of Wisconsin.
Yes, it's a great school.

Great school.

Go Badgers.

Are these the guys who argue for hours about the color of cheese?

That's us.

Do you think, what was it?

What color is cheddar?

Where are we on that?

Yellow.

What's your answer?

It's yellow.

Yeah.

Okay.

What about pepper jack?

Did somebody say orange? No, what about Pepper Jack? Pepper Jack is like pale yellow, right? Oh, no. She's a Hank rider.
Be careful, Jerry. Oh, wow.
Is Hank the angry one? Yeah, Hank's the angry one. Yes, yes.
Yes, Hank is always angry. She knows us well.
Wow, you do know. You are an AWL, Rebecca.

I've turned you into an AWL.

What do you say?

Can I take 10% to fix our driveway and give it to these guys?

Hello?

You can join the Fantasy League, but you need to do one thing.

Oh, no.

Oh, God.

Yes.

You've got to win. Oh, I love it.
All right. it all right fire me up love you babe thanks for coming on the show all right oh yes oh man you got a good one there you got a good one there man that was like adrian to rocky we probably should have kept her on though to see what happens if you don't win because i feel like that was if you don't win there's something bad coming all right so i'm in um i'll uh i'll get you that money somehow so what did you send max before we start what did you you sent max a random dm yeah i did i just wanted him to know that um i i just wanted him to know that uh wow that was like that was like uh that was so much better than you calling it darren revel um uh that really went well there was no uh She likes us.
Yeah, it sounds like she's a fan. Yeah.
That's incredible. I think we should, yeah.
We should probably meet her. Yeah.
Would you like to come on the show? My wife? Yeah. I mean.
I'll get her number and I'll set it up. Just tone it down with like the 12-year-old stuff and like intensely like with crazy eyes.
No, it was when we were 12. Yeah, I know.
So it's not talking about other 12-year-olds. It's talking about ourselves.
It was just kind of... It was a little awkward.
Well, you remember. Yeah, but it's just a little awkward.
Okay, come on. She was on the cover of the swimsuit issue, Jerry.
A number of times. I think three times.
Was she on the body paint one? I don't know if she was on the body paint. She had this one that had a zipper that went right down the middle.
Do you remember the zipper one? Oh, I remember it. The zipper one was really good.
This is inappropriate a little bit. Yeah.
Sorry. That's way in the past.
We're almost 40. You sent Max a DM just saying, Max, let's get into it today.
Well, I just, because I i have because because this is what i do as your manager if i'm still in the league and i'm managing it i just i have to break down fantasy stuff for you guys it's also fun as an awl because you typically talk a lot about gambling so it's fun to have a little fantasy on the show yeah and um huey uh while i used to be an actor i'm also i'm sort of the fantasy expert here at part of my take here we go um our strategy this season now last season i know i said you got to draft um fields and darren waller yeah yeah. Who could forget? And that was a double miss.
It's a rare double miss. Typically, if you make bold statements like that, I think PFT, you said, I'm standing on the table.
I'm doing that. Yeah, you stood on the table for a guy who got traded for six round picks back up now to Russell Wilson.
Possibly starting. And another guy who retired.
Yes. He was going through some personal stuff.
We're sorry to hear about his personal life. But yeah, it was a double miss.
I hope that doesn't scare you away from making bold statements this year, though. It doesn't.
Because here's my bold statement.

Here's our theme for this season in drafting.

There are so many talented wide receivers in the fifth, sixth, seventh, and eighth rounds

that we don't have to draft wide receivers until the fifth round.

Now, if one comes up in draft, if Garrett Wilson is there at the end of the second round, you've got to take him.

You know what I'm saying?

But I don't think we're going to touch a wide receiver until the fifth, sixth, seventh, and eighth rounds.

And it's because Devonta Smith, okay, Max, is there.

Dunze is there.

Keenan is going to be there.

Curtis Samuel, I know people are sleeping on him. He's going to be there.
Curtis Samuel.

I know people are sleeping on him.

He's going to be the wide receiver one in Buffalo.

Rashi Rice.

Team motherfucking Higgins is going in the fifth round.

In the fifth round.

We can wait.

We can wait.

So, that said, also, I'm definitely going to Buffalo Wild Wings to do my draft.

They have great internet.

You know, let's go fantasy. Let's go football.
Yeah. You get the ring and you can talk.
All right. So here we go.
Let's start with the NFC East. Okay, Max? Love it.
Now, Max. Ready.
I want to draft all the Eagles. All of them.
Every single one of them. Love it.
We're definitely drafting Devonta in the fifth round. Okay.

If Saquon is on the board, we're probably going to draft him.

Okay.

That said, I'm worried about drafting any Eagles.

Okay.

But we're drafting all of them. But I'm worried about drafting any of them.

Because if they go one and four, one and three, which they could in the first few weeks, okay? They're playing the Packers, the Falcons, the Saints, the Bucks, okay? Who they lost pretty badly in the playoffs, Max, okay? New year. Okay, I understand it's a new year, and I understand you have a new defensive coordinator.
And offensive coordinator. Okay, if they go one and three and people are fired and the wheels fall off of that thing and they're spray painting defensive players' names on garbage cans, which I saw with my eyes in the city of Philadelphia, okay, what are you going to say when the wheels have completely fallen off? That'll be my responsibility.
I'm willing to take that. Okay.
Just a few questions for you, Max.

Ready.

Can they tackle this season?

Yeah.

Vic Fangio's got the boys ready.

Okay.

Okay.

And you feel confident that there are two, not one, but two rookie corners who are going

to be guarding your backfield?

I don't know how much time the rookies are going to get early on, but I think we'll be

ready.

Okay.

How about the offense since Steichen has been gone? Are they going to do anything? Yeah, Kellen Moore's got the guys ready. Okay.
Now, is Kellen Moore going to be coaching come week five when everything breaks down? You're telling me that you want to draft all the guys, but then you're telling me you don't want to draft the guys. No, I'm just telling you when it all falls apart, and it could very possibly happen.
Why are you saying things are going to fall apart if we're drafting them all? Because it's Philadelphia and if there's any blood in the water it goes it's like a bunch of piranha jumping in and jumping on them and it gets insane and then we drafted three players from a team that is in a fucking vortex spiral that they can't get out of. A death spiral.
Is that going to happen this season? You have to assure us because I am now economically, a part of this fantasy team he's a tenth of his driveway is going to be on the eagles yeah no i love it i love it i want the pressure okay i don't know that you do this is good jerry you're learning you you've learned hey max that was just a test i was just testing all right but jerry you learned the simple trick of uh investing yourself monetarily in philadelphia sports so either you can win or you can just blame it all on Max. It's the best strategy out there.
That was just a test. I was really hoping to get more of a rise.
That was a stress test, yeah. Do you have a chamomile before the show or something? No, I'm just getting ready.
I mean, this is preseason. No, this is preseason.
All right, let's move on. We're all.
NFC East. All the Eagles.
All of them. Jalen Hurts is available.
Is he okay? Jalen Hurts? Yeah. He didn't look like himself last year.
He didn't look right. Let's ask Max.
He only threw one interception all of camp, and that was the last day. It's bad.
That's a bad thing. No, but he did throw one.
Yeah, that's a bad thing to only throw one. No, it would have been a bad thing if he threw zero.
No, because if he threw one, it's almost like he threw that one on purpose just because we were on to him. No, you thought that you were on to him.
Also, he doesn't have a center. Pretty big part of the brotherly show.
We'll be fine. We'll be fine.
Okay. Hmm.
Might have to rethink this whole Eagles thing.

Yeah, maybe.

Let's move on to another team of the podcast,

the Washington Commanders.

We're probably taking Jaden Daniels in like the ninth round.

Okay.

Okay, I like that.

You think he'll be around?

I think he'll be around then.

Because I feel like a lot of people are drafting him

fairly high this year. In the mock drafts i've looked at he or caleb are around and i i just i just think it's gonna have i think he's i think i think of the two of them i think jaden daniels is gonna light it up a little bit sorry and legs he's got the legs um can't draft any running backs on ever since Alfred Morris, I have bad vibes.
Also, Adrian Peterson on that team, I just think of, I didn't know what a switch was until he came on that team. And I always think of my kids and switching them if they're bad.
You can't do that. But yeah, this Brian Robinson, Austin Eckler, Antonioio gives him backfield we're not touching it but scary terry mclaurin is gonna be part of our i think he's going in like the seventh round of these mock drafts that i've been doing he is the wide receiver one johan dotson isn't there he is going to have a killer year that is what i'm talking about Can I give you just one name that maybe we don't draft him, but maybe we just keep his name in our brain for the waiver wire.
Okay. Martavis Bryant.
Now, by the time this podcast comes out, he might have been cut. But if he's still on the team, I feel like Martavis Bryant.
Keep an eye on him. 6-4, 208.

He lost like 30 pounds by drinking water and eating fruit.

Weed is pretty much legal in the United States,

so he won't get suspended again.

Okay.

Just keep an eye on him.

Okay.

I'm going to...

What was the office term?

I'm going to put a pin in that.

Yeah.

I'm going to table that.

Oh, man.

Sorry, Hank.

I don't think we're drafting any Cowboys this season.

Hank's gone.

Did he know I was going to talk about the Cowboys?

Yeah, he might have.

He put in his 30-minute workshop.

He probably got a call from...

Oh, Huey, here's a fun little fact.

Guess how many wide receivers are named Jalen on the Cowboys?

Three.

Correct.

Wow.

Dibbity.

Wow.

Dibbity fucking Dibbity, man.

Dibbity Dibbity.

I can't believe I heard that in person.

Maybe Jake Ferguson in the late round because you know Dak is going to have to dump that ball.

Giants, absolutely none.

Just can't watch any dimes.

Maybe Devin Singletary if he's around in the seventh round.

But man, I can't believe people are drafting Malik Neighbors in the second round.

I know.

Do they see who's going to be throwing to him uh let's go to the nfc north oh uh oh man huey i'm so sorry buddy hivvity divvity we can't draft jameer gibbs somebody has a hamstring injury and is out for a couple weeks you just want no part of it it does make um david montgomery a must draft oh because you know he's gonna be playing i'm gonna guess a majority draft. Oh.
Because you know he's going to be playing, I'm going to guess,

the majority of the season.

But you notice we have a theme here, commanders, Bears coming up,

Eagles.

This is part of the podcast.

I wonder if we'll have any Patriots, Hank.

I wonder.

He's not here.

Oh, he's back.

Oh, he's back.

Chicago Bears, NFC North. Yeah.
Big Cat. Yeah.
All of them. Yeah.
Every single one. Yeah, Jerry.
I don't know if it's that fucking hard knock show. Yeah, Jerry.
I'm just in. They're going to be good this year.
By the way, getting back to our wide receivers, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth rounds rounds a dunze is going to be such a good receiver and like i know you guys are talking about my wife and things you did to no i just photos i was just no no no no no no no okay ourselves yeah as 13 year olds looking at photos and stuff so i do want to be respectful here um but dunday's very attractive mom. I don't think I've ever said that about someone's mom.
Yeah. And by the way, it's also like a, it's like, I don't want to get really crazy here, but it's like, you know, when you're attracted to someone, it's a potential mate, you know? And like, I don't know if she's still a childbearing age but like you want to everyone wants to have a child a child that is a professional athlete and i found her to be i was very attracted to her i went on a deep dive you know she's a realtor in las vegas so and gets incredible reviews that's like it's quite a deep dive.
Yeah. So I was looking for, I was trying to see if there is a husband, a ring.
Uh-huh. And I think she's single.
I believe so. Total respect, though.
Respect. Respect.
I'm in a relationship. I just, um.
It's complicated. No, it isn't complicated.
It's not complicated at all. Your relationship? Yeah, it's not.
It's simple. It's very simple.
Straight down the line. Nothing complicated.
Not even like, just like, it's- You guys agree on everything. It's like missionary, our relationship.
Yeah. It's like nothing even crazy.
Like, there's nothing crazy about our relationship. I just...
All right, listen.

I like Keenan Allen a lot, too.

He's going in the ninth round. Are you worried that there's reports he gained a lot of weight?

I know.

I heard that.

I don't think it's a problem.

I think he'll lose it.

And, man, I just...

You know, I live in Los Angeles, and I watched that man for years just rack up fantasy points with those Chargers.

Green Bay. Oh, you know, i have a question for this podcast um and anybody can jump in here huey as well he's an nfc north guy um how do we think josh jacobs is going to do in green bay i thought he was pretty good when he when he got the ball in oakland or las vegas oh he was incredible yeah yeah i thought when they gave him the ball and they trust him to be the first running back, I thought he was still good.
Yeah. So A.J.
Dillon is a little hurt, I think. So that's good.
I mean, bad for A.J. Dillon, but good for if you're drafting Josh Jacobs, who's going a little later.
And Jordan Love is not a scrambling quarterback. So I think Josh Jacobs is a good.
Oh good oh i think that i'm biased okay i think the packers i think aaron jones is better and he's on the vikings now for the price and everything i like aaron jones i think the packers just will always have a good running back they always seem to be okay but they won't use them okay um i guess i should just be asking big cat this stuff because he's going to be the most judgmental and really scrutinize these picks what about jaylen reed how do you feel about him and our mom wow christian watson bum can't catch wow can run fast so i guess no no packers on our fantasy team. NFC North Vikings.

Man, I've seen this Sam Darnold movie.

It's terrible.

Seven-year bump, Jerry.

Seven-year bump.

Let's go to the NFC West, 49ers.

I guess just that Christian McCaffrey.

I just don't like anyone else.

It's just such a boring team to watch.

I'm sorry.

The 49ers?

Yeah.

You don't like Kittle?

I don't.

I'm sorry.

I know he's a friend of the show. I understand that.
He's a friend of yours. You're basically like step cousins or something.
I know. I just think we have, you know, I do want to say in the third round, we're either going to take Sam Laporta as a tight end.
I like that. Or we're going to take McBride as a tight end because every mock draft I I've done, those tight ends seem to go back to back.
It's like Laporta, Kelsey, McBride. It just goes boom, boom, boom.
And it typically happens in the third round, so you've got to get it early if you want one of those three. Kittle's not one of them.
I'm sorry.

I just...

Also, you have to watch 49ers games.

They're on kind of later.

It's like dark out.

It's just...

It's a bummer.

There's also...

They use them in a way

that's not necessarily great for fantasy.

There's a difference between

being a great fantasy tight end

and then what Kittle does,

which is some games

he'll have those great fantasy games,

but other games he'll just block the shit out of people. Yeah.
I just can't do it. I'm so sorry.
I'm not a Brock Purdy guy. No, you're honest.
I'm not a Brock Purdy guy either. About Kyle Ushak.
Do you see his wife's jackets? He just loves fullbacks. I do.
Yeah. Still can't believe that that gold medalist wore a Green Bay jacket.
Nah, it wasn't a Green Bay jacket. It a jonathan owens jacket you know that jerry um lnfc west rams uh that gold medalist um but the best olympian we've ever had um uh rams i love kyron yeah it's gonna be really good i don't know why he's not getting respect on these drafts.
Because Blake Corham, maybe?

I don't think Blake Corham's going to do anything.

I mean, you think Blake, maybe. All right, I should do a little more research there.
And I do want to say also, great grit week, great interview with Coach McVay. But, um, man, when a head coach starts talking about their like beauty routine and their beauty regiment and also like like aesthetic surgeries that they've gotten it's just look i'm an actor i'm arguably i mean don't ask huey but i'm like beside matt damon and casey affleck the most famous guy, Huey should look me up, but like, and you don't hear me talking about my like implants that I get or like, and I just, I couldn't believe he was, I guess like a for honesty and he's got supposedly a photographic memory, but like, I, like I want my head coaches, like, like Dan Campbell with with chaw like coming out of you want them drooling on themselves i want like andy reed who looks like his spleen just fucking exploded and he took a shit and like he's got heartburn and just chewing like prilosec yeah i don't know if this is a prilosec podcast but like it's like i want that's what i want for my head coach yeah no pretty boys like dan quinn Quinn.
He goes bald. Guess what he does? He shaves his head and just grows a goatee.
He doesn't have to get the PRP. That's what you need out of a football coach.
Yeah. Yeah.
So that was a little annoying. But I do like Kyron.
Arizona Cardinals are a really interesting team this year. Yeah.
I just is going to be awesome. I think their offense is going to be great.
You know, I cannot draft Marvin Harrison in the second round. He's a rookie.
I can't do it. But I think he's going to be really good.
If we were to draft one of those rookies, it would be him, man. And I have a feeling that Kyler Murray is going to have a great year.
Yeah. I think they're going to be a lot of fun to watch.
Warning, though'd say this as someone who plays call of duty's new game drops the 25th oh and it is supposedly like incredible of september of october october okay and it's like i'm not usually usually throw a month on those sorry um it will exp weekend that's what he said listen it's like a spy thriller you don't know who to trust i hear the single player is incredible i hear the multiplayer it's like post cold war we may lose kyler for i mean six weeks after that maybe we trade him maybe we draft him and then we trade him early october that's's a great plan. Yeah.
Sell high. NFC West, Seattle, no one.
Wow. Okay.
Yeah, I just... Jackson Smith is never going to leapfrog those two guys, DK and Tyler.
It's just no one. Like, you know Kenneth Walker is going to get injured.
I just can't deal with it. NFC South.
Also DK. That actually was the best Kenneth Walker preview ever.
Kenneth Walker is going to get injured. I just can't deal with it.
And then they got Charbonnet. Charbonnet.
I don't even know. There's usually two behind and they usually split carries after that.
I can't deal with it. And DK will get you like two touchdowns one week, but then he'll also get ejected from that game he's fun to watch um nfc south wow the most powerful division in the nfl that you're saying yeah um man i have a question for this podcast is kirk cousins going to make kyle pitts a good tight end i think he will interesting because that could change things for us yeah i just didn't throw to him now are you willing to take that risk of not taking Laporta or McBride in the third round and take Pitts in like no if they're sixth I have a question okay what if Kyle Pitts just isn't good I don't think that's possible because he got drafted so high he got drafted so high and he did have a one incredible year i think two years ago

with uh not great quarterback somebody look it up um is okay another question is kirk cousins gonna make drake london catch more footballs i think so i think kirk cousins gonna fix the entire office i also think bijon is gonna get a lot more touches he's getting a lot of love in drafts, Bijan.

And I mean wow so we may be going heavy on the Falcons so this is not a Falcons podcast but we might become one Kyle Pitts his first year had a thousand yards that's a good year and who was the quarterback how many touchdowns Desmond R might have been Mariotta and Ritter. How many touchdowns Kyle Pitts has been in the league for three years? How many touchdowns does Kyle Pitts have? Okay.
I think it's disgusting. I think it's going to be six.
I think it's exactly six. That's a full year for a tight end that you'd want to draft at that spot.
I mean, I hope Kyle Pitts. I've gotten to the point where I might have to wait and see because every year we do this with Kyle Pitts.
No, but you answer my question. You would rather Laporta or McBride than the Pitts.
Laporta is a beast. Jerry, what you're doing, you're trying not to steal Hank's thunder as the econ finance guy, but you're trying to time the market right now.
Correct. You think that you're smarter than the market, and you're like, I think is going to be we're going to see like three four hundred percent roi on kyle pitts let's stick with the guys that we know that like their past performance has been good and then that way you know we're just going to ride the market up well i'm also uh i'm i'm questioning everybody here because that's what fantasy is about it's about buying low and getting a big return and like Kyle Pitts outperforms Sam Laporta we're going to be bummed

because that's what fantasy is about. It's about buying low and getting a big return.

And like, if Kyle Pitts outperforms Sam Laporta,

we're going to be bummed because we wasted, I mean.

I'll make a bet right now that doesn't happen.

Okay, all right, good.

Then we're drafting Laporta or McBride in third.

Are you concerned, Jerry, at all with the ops that are listening to us right now?

People in our fantasy league might be listening to this fantasy preview

that you're doing, and you're essentially giving the strategy away.

Well, you know what's funny is um last season uh somebody immediately drafted um uh fields and immediately drafted waller and i was like wow they must have listened to me on my fantasy preview and that worked really well in our favor yes, so this whole thing might be a misdirection.

Wow.

Carolina, absolutely no one.

Yep.

Not even Deontay Johnson, who's going really late.

You just can't do it.

Saints, absolutely no one.

Sorry, Stephen Shade.

No Tampa Bay either.

Rashad White. I don't even know.
I I mean they just have the worst running backs every season no Mike Evans no I'm sorry I just I know he's a friend of the show but I'm just not a baker I just don't think it's going to happen sorry everybody is Michael Thomas still on the Saints I think he left did he retire where Don't know. He's a free agent.
It just popped in my head. I was like, where the fuck is Michael Thomas? He's had the weirdest last five years possible.
Yeah. Okay.
Let's get into it, guys. AFC East.
Yes. Here we go.
This is it. Henny, come on.
Given our wide receivers in 5, 6, 7, 8, Curtis Samuel, I really believe is going to be the number one wide receiver there. And I just...
Keon Coleman. Have you watched Curtis Samuel play? I have.
I just think he's going to get a lot of... Let me put it this way.
I think he's going to see a lot of targets from an incredible quarterback. Is there a chance, Jerry, that the number one wide receiver on the Buffalo Bills

might actually be a tight end?

I don't think so because...

Okay.

Aren't there two tight ends that...

There are, but Dalton Kincaid is the one who is ready.

If you're timing the market, he had 73 catches last year.

But I can't tell you...

I think we had Kincaid a couple years ago,

and every time I'd fire up the old X, you'd just see Knox trending trending and you'd be like that motherfucker's gonna have had a touchdown and it just it really upsets me and then i get mad at my children and my wife and i start yelling at them for no reason and i'm muttering about dalton kincaid in my underwear so just to clear it up i think maybe what happened if it was a couple years ago dalton kincaid was still at Utah, so he was not going to catch any balls. It was going to go to Dawson Knox.
Okay. I don't like it if there's too tight ends.
I agree with that. Got it.
Where's memes? I brought him a little gift actually. Oh.
Yeah, here. Let me get it.
Jets fan to Jets fan. Is it a bomb? No, it's not that.
That joke is actually like gonna get us all in trouble so let's not even jerry do you ever think about it because we're doing a uh oh do you ever think about the fact that uh it got tangled but here memes here you go oh look at that it's a uh it's a little nicks pendant it's a nicks yeah jerry do you ever think about how uh crazy it is that like this whole thing happened because we we talk about it we you actually changed the course of this of the history of this podcast you know that what you changed the course of the history of this podcast you can't tell the story of pardon my take without jerry o'connell when you first got offered to us we were like what will we talk to jerry o'connell about? And then we're like, you know what? Let's have him on. Well, did you know I was still an actor at the time? Yeah, we did.
We did. We didn't.
Oh, because your staff doesn't seem to know I still act. I'm very familiar with your work.
Stand by me, one of the greatest films of all time. Yeah.
But what happened, Jerry, is we had you on, and it was an instant, instant chemistry, instant love. Yeah.
well and we basically said from that point on we have to take a risk on anyone who were like oh we don't know what to talk about with him because the next jerry o'connell could be that person yeah i like that yeah because we we thought it was gonna be a one and done you come on we talk about kangaroo jack stand by me haha you used to be fat oh shit you know we used to jerk off to your wife when we were 13, that kind of stuff. I mean, yeah, I'm glad I could help out.
Wow. I just- Was it the fat thing? No, it was the jerking off to my wife thing.
That's the thing. It's just the image of- She wasn't your wife at the time.
A 15-year-old Dave Cass just pulling his pud, looking wasn't your wife. Looking at himself in the mirror holding up a photo of my wife.
It's just frightening with your hairy body. It's just fucking crazy.
I was late to a couple football practices because I went home from school. And then I was like, oh, I got to poop after school.
I wasn't pooping. And then I was late for it.
Your wife's probably the reason why I'm not an NFL player right now. Yeah.
Because I didn't time at receiver because I was cranking off I gotta say it's the image of uh big cat jerking off that really like fuck oh it's gross it's really gross because you know he like he doesn't do it normally he like you know he like squats or something he does something crazy and like lays paper on the ground like a bird he's into some weird stuff where he like you know like there's like a pet watching him also yeah it's it's just it's not okay and you know i'm a man of a particular age so like it's like tough enough for me as it is and i mean i still have the last time i came here i know this i don't know if it is anymore was a hymns podcast you gave me like a a packet of stuff and it does work when i'm saving it for you know like my birthday but i how we got to this point was i wanted to thank you because you changed how we view booking guests on this podcast because we thought jerry o'connell we're what are we going to talk about with him and then you've become one of our favorite guests one of our best friends and our fantasy owner expert thank you I'm so glad to I want to say you know I want to take a moment to not only thank you but I want to thank the AWL's it's really fun to be a part of this show I went to Cleveland a couple weeks ago and it was a Saturday night and i went to downtown i went to an awesome bar called town hall highly suggested and i was there with a co-worker who has no clue that i come on this show or even what this show is and the amount of people awls who came up to me they're the best and yelled like bing bong to me but by the way in like a respectful manner

like like i gotta say every awl is funny they have a light in their eyes there's like a high five followed by i mean in my case it's like a grabbing of my shoulders and then like a whispering like hanky you blew it bing bong it's um AWO. I love being a part of the show.
All right, let's get back to this. Because last time I was on this, you cut out when I talked about the NFC North, and a couple people got upset about that, so I'm going to try to do this quickly.
But that was nice of you, Big Cat, to text me and say we cut out the NFC North. I think because I said terrible things about the Bears.
No, I think it was because it was like three hours long. Jets, we're drafting Brees before everybody.
Okay, I like that. I'm sort of bummed out that we got the first pick in that draft because you have to take Christian McCaffrey in that case.
We might have the first pick. But I would love to take Brees.
I just think he's going to have a great year. Go into the group chat and then vote to redo the draft if we don't want to draft number one overall.
I think we should all take our shirts off and redo the numbers. Yeah, we will.
Three of us. Oh, this is a fun trick to do on fantasy.
You draft Mike Williams with your last pick, okay? You immediately put him into your IR slot, and then you pick up somebody off a waiver. So you get an extra person in there.
And it's likes who's gonna who's gonna have a good season when he comes back uh miami dolphins now last season last year i came on the show and i said no dolphins and it turned out that was a mistake the most explosive offense well fantasy is like you get points from offense and yeah yep and they had a really good offense so it was like 70 points in the game. Yeah.
Right. I wish I had like 25.
Yeah. So I'm reversing that and I'm saying all the dolphins.
Okay. Good.
Good. I think that I think most it's going to have a great year.
Again, you're getting a value pick. He's a goal line running back.
Look, Devin, if we could get him in the second round, that would be fun. I would even get both of them.

Jalen Waddle's going in like the sixth, fifth, late fifth, sixth round.

That's part of that five, six, seven.

Jalen Waddle, Tyreek has a thumb injury.

Come on, guys.

Oh, here we go.

AFC East.

Is Hank here?

Yep.

Hank is here.

Hank, are you there?

Hank is here. I'm here, Jerry.
What's that sound? Is that the wind? That's the fall breeze. Because the summer of Hank is over.
Feel that chill in the air? No, I'm kidding, Hank.

When it comes to drafting the Patriots, we are going to draft none of them. None of them.
We can't draft even Ramondre. Who can we draft? Hank, tell us.
Who can we draft? Who? Ramondre. Summer wind is gone, baby.
I was at the Cubs game the other day, and I was walking, and some AWLs were very excited and started yelling, hey, bing bong, bing bong, bing bong. And there was an old woman behind me who afterwards was like, sir, what was that all about? And I just didn't even have the heart to explain it to her.
Ma'am, I had a relationship with a young lady named Tiffany Gomez. And this guy Jerry was upset that the Knicks didn't make it to the next round of the playoffs and started saying bing bong.
Yeah. Hank, you think we should draft Ramondre? Really? Nah just not happening this year you know who I will draft is Belichick's girlfriend Bingman yeah teach us some Zumba classes she's an entrepreneur and a philosopher yeah and 23 you know what's so crazy crazy about your pets they just have no speed they have no speed what's going on like everyone's fast in the nfl now hank it's a rebuilding year it's not gonna be pretty uh it's not gonna be pretty uh drake may gonna be there in a couple years drake may hopefully is not gonna play much this year he's going to see some stuff, get some reps in on the practice field, and then – So Jacoby's going to start? I'm going to be Jacoby.
Okay. All right.
That was our – It's weird, though, because Jared Mayo said that Drake May was the best quarterback on the team. I think he said second best.
I think he said Jacoby's the best, but then the next morning he said Drake May has outplayed

Jacoby. Interesting.

Yeah, I saw the quote when he said

second best.

Okay, good

luck with that. AFC North,

Baltimore.

How do you think Derrick Henry is going to do this season?

I think he'll be

fine. He's a perfect Raven.
I see

it whenever a guy goes to a different team

I like to visualize it

And be like alright how's that gonna look

I can see him in a Ravens uniform

He's gonna look big in that uniform

Yeah I like it too

Now here's the problem

He and Kyron are going right at the same time

In drafts

Who would you take

I'd take Derrick Henry just because you can say Tractor Cito

Yeah

You can also watch Baltimore games

It'll be really fun

I get that

Thank you. in drafts, who would you take? I'd take Derrick Henry just because you can say Tractor Cito.
Yeah. You can also watch Baltimore games.
It'll be really fun. I get that.
The Bengals, I told you T. Higgins is going in the fifth.
Tyler Boyd isn't there anymore. T.
Higgins is going to go off in the fifth round. That is everything.
Oh, how do we think Zach Moss is going to do there? Good. Why do you – like your voice went up like three octaves yeah i don't really i mean i think chase brown the backup's probably more explosive zach moss will probably get the goal line carries we're gonna stay away from you're very intuitive there that was good them as well i tried to give you a good but you you sniffed that right out um okay and afc north i want to apologize to you guys because i think you guys were on the right side of history here.
Last season, I really was sort of hot on Deshaun Watson, and you guys were upset about it because of his indiscretion. We have morals on our team.
Yeah, and I was trying to convince you otherwise. So I re-listened to it, and I was on the wrong side of history.
Like, you don't want to be – I was kind of defending him.

You don't want to do that.

I don't defend that sort of behavior.

I'm really against it.

So we're not going to draft any Browns this season.

Nick Chubb late?

Not Nick Chubb late.

His injury, man.

Do you remember that last season? He was pretty gnarly.

But I tell you, if he's there in like the eighth, ninth round, maybe.

What about Amari Cooper?

He is not starting so much. Do you remember that last season? It was pretty gnarly.
But I tell you, if he's there in the eighth, ninth round, maybe.

What about Amari Cooper?

He is not starting, so we could do that IR trick where we draft him.

I'm just saying if he's around and you're like, oh, we're going to pick a backup running back somewhere, take a flyer on Nick Chubb.

All right.

No receivers there because it's like Amari Cooper, Elijah Moore, Jerry Judy. We're not doing that.
Pittsburgh, absolutely no one. Yeah.
No one. I mean, name a receiver on Pittsburgh.
George Pickens. Other than George Pickens.
That's it. Pat Fryer move.
They don't have Deontay, right? No, Deontay's gone. Yeah.
He's gone. I think he's in Carolina.
He is. Yeah.
I heard they were going to get Ayuk, but that's from Jersey Jerry. Najee cancels out Jalen Warren, and Russell Wilson.
I mean, who's starting there? Who is starting there? Probably Russ. Probably Russ, and it probably won't go very great.
They have Van Jefferson and Quez Watkins and Scotty Miller of Bucs fame. Let's go to the AFC West because you guys are going to cut out one of these divisions.
I know you are. No, no, no.
The Chiefs, we're going to take Pacheco in the second if we can get him. Because Gerard McKinnon isn't there.
He's going to get all those touches. He's another fun guy to watch.
And you're going you're gonna get to watch fun games with oh yeah and so you want somebody on that team to root for it oh pacheco starts doing his run where he's like stomping through it's great it's great yeah um oh man we're i'm a pmt guy you guys know that we know that we very much know that i don't go on other sports podcasts i don't do it have you been invited i don't anyone tried to to kind of cut you i wouldn't go but have you been invited i wouldn't go okay i don't talk about other lovers i don't do it unlike you guys telling me in detail what you did with my wife's photo it's fucking gross it's crazy you photos It wasn't just one. That that'd be again wasn't your wife at the time but it is now right i would never do that now all right well listen i would never go on another person's sports podcast and i would never draft draft someone who is in another sports podcast no travis kelsey on our team i love that good good

take a stand this is the number one sports podcast yes that's it yep there is no other sports podcasts there will be no talk of that person on this let's make a list make a graphic of jerry o'connell's undraftables for moral reasons deshaun watson and travis kelsey yes And what about Henry Ruggs?

Would you draft Henry Ruggs?

Has he been through a trial and everything I think he's in prison sitting in jail at this okay but I killed a woman I I I God rest everyone's souls it was terrible prayers for tomorrow prayers for everyone but has he been found guilty he's literally sitting in jail right now so is it so that okay i didn't i wasn't i didn't keep up on the trial yes prison uh but i mean look getting back to what i was talking about like others like if chicks in the if mba hole was like a like a the number one pod the number two sports podcast i wouldn't draft huey especially since he didn't know I was a fucking actor huey i i'm i was in the big bang theory i'm sorry man i'm i don't watch that show huey you ever see uh the heartbreaker music video with mariah carey no jesus guess who they asked to play the heart throb jerry jerry that's cool you remember that jerry he just knows you know what he just knows me as a fantasy guy. You've never seen Jerry Maguire? Jerry, how cool is that being Mariah Carey's boyfriend? It was so cool.
I tried hard. Man, I went for it hard.
Yeah. Went hard.
All in. How fun was it being in Can't Hardly Wait? That was a lot of fun.
I love that movie. Very young and attractive.
Really fun. I felt like I was invited to young Hollywood at that time.
Where's Jennifer Love Heifer love hewitt these days she was the best i just saw her she's in a show called uh emergency 911 she plays the dispatcher love it beautiful young lady has a beautiful uh family doing great great um got a new tattoo she showed me her new tattoo nice on her arm um okay rashi rice i think is a great deal in our 5 six seven eight i and i don't think his legal trouble oh whoa he just likes to drive we talked about the morals i don't think these legal troubles are going to stop him from playing this okay okay um like eight felonies or something like that pending against him it'll get dropped down yeah they'll work it it's fine yeah i just um he went back yeah he was like hey hand up my bad uh this is also another bummer we're still talking about the chiefs you know we spoke to my wife on this podcast uh big cat may cut it out or supermodel no we're definitely not cutting out that part um but um you know my wife uh how do i say this um is like the breadwinner in our household which is why i had to ask her if i can borrow the money to pay you guys to get in this fantasy league and i love her working it gives me time to really concentrate on fantasy yeah and I love her working. It gives me time to really concentrate on fantasy.

Yeah.

And help you guys out with your team.

That said,

like I do like,

like I'm so happy my wife works.

That said,

we are going to draft Harrison Buck Kerr.

Okay.

Yes.

Yeah.

I know he's like probably against, I mean, my wife working all the time and being the breadwinner, he would probably, his head would explode if he lived in my shoes. Breadmaker, maybe.
And also his head would probably explode hearing how much you guys talked about jerking off to my wife this entire episode. Yeah, not your wife at the time exploded once or twice he couldn't handle that um sorry but we're gonna draft harrison butker okay butker he's just he's a really good kicker bad at like um opinions where women stand in society good at kicking i just want to clear one thing up jerry because i don't want there to be any any awkward tension.
Pamela Anderson was always my one one. It's a pretty rude thing to say.
I thought like my wife was just I'm just being that's a respectful way to say it. Yeah.
But why are you dropping like people who you thought are more attractive than my wife? Not me, Jerry. I wanted you to not have the visual like the visual that you the picture you painted.
that was mostly Pamela Anderson. Picture you painted of you laying down paper towels on the floor.
Squatting with animal watching. AFC West.
Oh, Raiders. Zamir White.
Yes. He gets a lot of hate, but you know what? I love a Raiders running back.
I just love a Raiders running back. We're going to draft Samir White.
And he's going late in the draft, so he's like an RB1 going late. I don't think Brock Bowers is going to do anything.
I keep hearing his name on radio shows. I just, I mean, you have any feelings about Brock Bowers? He's catching everything.
He had a good camp. Also, I feel like a new head coach like Antonio Pierce, they're going to run the football.
Back of the show. And they'll probably throw some passes tight ends.
Yeah, I don't hate also taking Carlson from the Raiders if Bucker's not there, just because I think Antonio Pierce is going to be a take the points guy. Yeah.
Okay. Okay.
What are Carlson's views on women in the workplace? I think he's pro. It's cool.
It's cool with it. Okay.
I think Daniel Carlson, is he from Sweden? Yeah, I think he, yeah. I feel like they're very progressive.
Yeah. Super, super duper.
A lot of supermodels from there. Yeah.
He's from Colorado. Oh.
But yeah. Who's the Swedish guy? Because I thought the same thing.
I don't know. Like I imagined him in clogs going, it's okay that women go to work.
They need to have a life as well. It's important.
I don't believe in what Harrison Butker says. Yeah.
His dad's name's Hans. That's pretty cool.
I mean, I think he just, just i mean i like the idea that he's wearing clogs to the to allegiant and uh getting ready to kick some footballs again daniel carlson 100 america i think well he has a brother right yeah neils neils yeah and so his brother's the swedish one i think they both yeah they're swedes man they're swedes you know they're anders anders. These guys are...
Oh, wait. There is...
Anders is the other kicker. Okay.
Dude, you know they're like... Anders also born in Colorado.
Big summer blowout. Yoo-hoo.
All right. Over to the Chargers.
You're going to cut this all out. No, no, no.
How do we feel about Gus Edwards? Is he going to do anything? All right. Can I say something right now?

Just full disclosure.

When we did the new places, new faces, new places thing,

I didn't realize the Chargers just took the Ravens' backfield.

Yeah.

Gus Edwards and J.K. Dobbins on the Chargers.

That's kind of cool. A little Harbaugh swapsies.

Yeah.

So I am kind of high on it.

I mean, late round running back. Lab McConkiekey how do we think he's gonna do yes draft him okay someone has to catch the ball joshua palmer obviously is gonna be the receiver one but uh we've learned that what's his name can't catch quentin johnson yeah lab mcconkey is gonna they're gonna force feed lab mcconkey Good.
Then we're going to draft him. He's going really late.
Denver. Absolutely no one.
Yeah. Sorry.
It just I mean not even like Javante who I love as a running back. It's just I have a feeling that McLaughlin is going to take that Jaleel is going to take a lot of his touches.
AFC South, Colts, given our 5'6", 7'8", wide receiver Michael Pittman's going in the seventh round, fellas. Seventh round.
If Jonathan Taylor's on the board, we might have to take him. I do think...
Man, I don't know why Anthony Richardson is getting drafted so high. I'm not a believer.
Because he runs. I know, but he's played a game and a half.
Yeah. Not only that.
And he's being drafted 50 slots higher than he was last season. Listen, I might get shit for this, but Anthony Richardson is an insane athlete.
Has he ever been good at football? Hank? For that game he was good before he got hurt last year he had some problems i know but i like florida he was it feels like he's just a forever prospect we'll see oh breaking moves here we go brandon iuk brandon iuk uh kind. It's about a commander's wide receiver.
Oh, okay. Commanders are releasing Martavis Bryant.
Oh! That is perfect. Well, my take stands.
Yeah. We'll bring him back.
If he's still there, take. You know what? Dan Quinn's such a good guy.
He's giving him a shot. He's giving him an opportunity to sign with the roster.
Oh, that's so perfect. And then when he doesn't, then we're going to bring him back practice squad.
That's perfect. That was not worthy of breaking moose.
That was. It was.
It was. Given the context, it was.
That was really funny. Yes.
Really funny. Funnier than you guys talking about what you did to your young prepubescent bodies with a photo of my wife.
It was not prepubescent. No, that would make no sense.
That would make us weirdos. Decidedly postpubescent.
Yeah, I'm sorry. That got weird when I said that.
That was weird. I shouldn't have said that.
AFC South. Thanks for not making a weird joke.
Jacksonville. I'm just worried about their offense.
I'm not taking anybody there. I'm worried about that offense.
I just don't think they're going to have a good year.

Etienne goes really early.

I'm going to try and pass on him unless he falls on our lap.

I'm not worried about Tank Bigsby.

Everybody says he gets touches.

Houston Texans, all of them, every single one of them.

This is their year.

C.J. Stroud, I think, is really like he's in like the fourth, fifth round.
He's going after Anthony Richardson. This is it.
Stephon Diggs is being drafted in like the eighth round. Stephon fucking Diggs.
Yeah. Tank Dell is in the seventh round.
Nico. Nico's going earlier, but like, I just think, I think Joe Mixon is going to be that goal line passing back that's good you know that man catches like 90 percent of the passes that come his way um I'm all in on the Texans the Titans the only one that interests me is Tony Pollard and that's only because I live like two years ago when we came in second he was such a disaster in Dallas last year for him what was up with him was he injured or something tony pollard i don't i mean he's the only player there um you think will levis will have a bounce back season i i don't know if you can call it bounce back i mean do you think he'll have a good season i think he'll be okay um and with defenses uh we're just gonna stream meaning we're just gonna pick up each week whoever's playing the Patriots bing bong I like that that's a good strategy for defense by the way that's it guys that's what we're going to do with fantasy I'm going to wire you some money I have a debit card I might have to somehow debit it to you we can do a payment plan my wife gave me a debit card so I'll just figure out a way to just debit it to you.
We can do a payment plan. Well, no.
Play away, maybe? My wife gave me a debit card, so I'll just figure out a way to just get it to you somehow. Maybe Zell.
Okay. Yeah, we can make it work.
I like your strategy this year. Oh, good.
So who are the guys that we're targeting that you're standing on the table for? Who are the Justin Fields and the Darren Wallers of this year so it's funny because we have the first pick in the draft right now currently when it comes back around to us in the second round pretty much all the really like the tier one running backs are gone so we get one tier one running back in Christian McCaffrey then we got got to take Josh Allen at the end of that. Okay.
Just because he's there. If he's not there for some reason, we're taking Jalen Hurts.
Okay, Max? Love it. Thank you.
Then for our third pick, we're taking Laporta. If he's there, somebody could get weird and take him at the end of the second, or McBride.
Okay. Then, depending on who's in our fourth round, we're taking Devonta Smith, or if there's a really good running back up there, like Samir White, who could be in the fourth round, or Joe Mixon, who could still be hanging around, okay? And then fifth, sixth, seventh, we're taking all just wide receivers, all those guys I mentioned, Stephon Diggs, not Watson, not Jaden Reed.
Odunze is going to be there. I mean, it's going to be really, I just, I, I, you know, we're at an age in fantasy where everyone takes wide receivers in those first two rounds.
Yep. And I just think all the good running backs are gone.
And like you get the, those, those tier one running backs and tier one quarterbacks and tier one tight ends. And I think we can think we can wait a little bit for we're what wide wide receiver i like that little zig on the zag yeah zag on the zig um well jerry love the fantasy preview yeah uh last question hey it's ria from tricks in the office it's officially mini skort season and abercrombie has the ones to go out in their scarlet mini is a classic it's one of those skirts that fits the outfit vibe for any plans and i'm excited to style their new sienna skort it's a little more flirty and it's perfect for date night make plans to go out in abercrombie shop their newest arrivals in store and online uh my last question the rowback question question.
Have you prepared anything for anyone here? You know, I have. For those, Huey, this is your first time having me on as a guest.
You should really, you should check out Kangaroo Jack. You should check out science fiction film I did, Mission to Mars.
I've been in some stuff. Crossing Jordan? Crossing Jordan.
I plan on watching a couple of these. You would love that.
It's good stuff. But you probably also don't know, aside from being a fantasy expert, I'm also a little bit of a poet.
And I like to write poems for cast cast members here at part of my take. And this poem, uh, my, my roadback poem is for, uh, is for Hank.
Hanky, Hanky, Hanky to the man of many championships, the man of many cities, Hanky, Hanky, Hanky.

To the man who would rather play golf than go playing with those big soft titties.

Good choice.

Hanky, Hanky, Hanky, how's your summer been?

We've all heard.

It's going pretty swell.

Hanky, Hanky, Hanky, capped off by getting to ring that stupid useless bell elevator ride was fun hanky hanky hanky this summer has given you purpose this summer has given you a reason hanky hanky hanky will you be asked to ring that stupid useless bell during the regular season pre-season don't mean shit ask max hanky hanky hanky this summer you seem to check all the boxes on all of your lists hanky hanky hanky topped off by that image of you at the top of foxborough pumping your tiny little fists how many pumps you get huh hanky hanky hanky you would think that all these accomplishments would finally impress me hanky Hanky, Hanky, even if you were less nervous than the very brave Kenny Chesney.

He rode up in the elevator.

You were brave.

Hanky, Hanky, Hanky, yes, climbing to the top of that lighthouse would make most people quiver.

Hanky, Hanky, Hanky, even if from all the way up there, you still can't see the Neponson River.

The trees are in the way. Hanky, Hanky, Hanky.
None of us are used to all this winning and all these victorious aromas. Hanky, Hanky, Hanky.
Although you did take one L and her name is Tiffany Gomez. You blew it.
Hanky, Hanky, Hanky. Here's to hoping you have a great fall with victories and many a vacay.
Hanky, Hanky, Hanky, even if you won't acknowledge the freedom and sovereignty of Taipei. You're a commie, bing bong.
So Hanky, Hanky, Hanky, we honor you this summer and all your aura and all your might. Hanky, Hanky, Hanky.
For the summer of 2024, you were our keeper of the light. Yes.
Beautiful. Great poem as always.
Love you guys. Jerry O'Connell, you're the best.
We love you so much. Thank you so much.
I can't wait to see our team and i can't wait to see where we go with this we got to win your wife said we have to win so we got to win jerry what do you want to plug you had oh yeah plug anything you want to plug charles in charge charles in charge who those got bail i was in an episode of that yeah huey uhy. No, I got another plug.
Okay.

Nothing?

I want to say hi to the AWLs.

I love them.

Keep it coming.

TV?

We can't watch it on TV?

Oh, I host a show called Pictionary, a game show.

I'm in a show called The Talk on CBS.

This is broadcast TV, so it's on, yeah.

No, I have nothing to put on.

I'm on Yelp.

I leave good reviews for places if I go someplace.

We'll be right back. broadcast tv so it's uh it's on yeah it's uh no i have nothing to play i'm on yelp i leave good reviews for places if i go someplace love it check out jerry's yelp account yeah yeah all right well jerry thanks so much you're the best noble is known for their best in class award winning footwear with options across training and lifestyle bull has options for everyone exclusively for barstool listeners no bull is offering 30 off your order visit

www.nobullproject.com slash barstool for 30 off your entire order that's www.nobullproject.com backslash barstool for 30% off okay let's wrap up hank credit to us for not making any jokes about jerry's wife during that whole thing yes very above board it's also that's why i love jerry because every now and then i'm, did we go too far? And then he'll just like one up us with something else. We'd be like, yeah, I looked into Roma Doonsay's mom.
Yeah. Okay.
Okay. Henry FAQs.
If Big Cat and PFT were in an empty room with all the podcast equipment unassembled, cameras, mics, etc. How long would it take them to record an entire episode oh record what a question uh we could i think we could record if you gave us four hours we might have to do this but now uploading no phones either obviously yeah uploading it and publishing it would be different we might have to do this But record it, I think we could do it.
Someone asked us this at camp. I think memes just added it to it.
He did. Oh, this is memes? Yeah, this is a memes listener submitted question.
It's FAQ. Or FAQ, yeah.
Actually, Hank, why don't you tell us what you think? I think we got to do this. I think PFT's inclination, because he has some experience with recording equipment, probably correct that you could record it, but you would not be able to edit and upload it.
It would also take us a long time to record. But actually, PFT can use iMovie too.
I think it would take a long time. I can? Or whatever you you've made songs like the things you use to make what's that yeah it's like all the recording garage band all the recording software is like kind of similar I think I think you could eventually be able to record audio the guys who were here yesterday giving out free stuff are they sponsoring us in anything uh not us but the office can they sponsor us in something they can't do uh like hypothetically a live stream of us using their product and then trying to accomplish yes yes we do a live stream of us using their product show the us using their product right so we use their product then we come in here we'd company and we come in here we have to build it and we live stream of us using their product.
Yeah, to show us using their product. Great.
So we use their product. Then we come in here.
It's a weed company. Then we come in here.
We have to build it and we live stream us building it and then we end the live stream and whatever we end up recording we put at the end of a show. That would be great.
All right. I feel like you guys would just be calling for help.
You would find a way to be like, I can't do this. Call for help.
We are allowed to use our phones to Google, right? No. No, I like Google.
Google, I think. We should be allowed to Google.
No, I don't do a computer with Google, but even. No, so you guys would still upload, but we would have to record it.
We put at the end of it. It'd be a part of my bake at the end of the episode.
Actually, it'd be funny if you guys, if Max and Hank were sitting in here and you guys couldn't help us, but you watched us. I kind of.
I don't trust anyone'll read my eyes i was thinking that like if it was if we had like facility or zoo like they would just end up telling you what so yeah you big cats are great like he can he will he will finesse people what do you mean are we saying that we're going to use the same equipment that we do right now are you saying that we we go in with a computer i think i think travel yeah no i think travel you'd be, you'd be better off. I think if you had to use this computer.
And we'd have to do video, too. But PFT can use, like, I would be confident with PFT's ability to use the travel record.
But what if we did the thing where we were high? So let's try to get a sponsorship deal. I've put so many sick filters.
Let's do this. This would be so funny.
So funny. And live stream, and then we come.
Yeah, but what if they do really well, Max? I'm looking at it more as a PMTV. Okay, we do a PMTV, but we cut it at the end.
We cut at the end so people then have to listen to what comes out. Right, right, right.
Because who knows what comes out? It could just be us not talking for two minutes. Or if it sounds like absolute shit.
Right. That would be fun.
It's a buzz, massive buzz. Yeah.
Okay. Yeah, great question, and we should do it.
Good question, memes. Hey, PMT, when looking at the upcoming football season, what would be a shame if it happened? Oh, jeez.
I mean, there's so many shames out there. There's a lot of shames.
I don't want to do the shames, but we got to do the shames. I mean, we know the shame.

We'll say this.

This isn't about football.

It would be a shame if memes died via suicide bombing.

That would be a shame.

That would be a shame.

The first five plays of the Jets season.

It's going to be incredible.

It would be a shame.

It'd be incredible.

Listen, it'd be a shame if any of our guys got hurt.

Let's just hope for a healthy football season.

Knock on wood.

That would be a shame.

It was a healthy football season.

Knock on wood.

That would be a shame.

It would also be a shame if someone's quarterback in here,

they kind of opened their eyes and were like, he's not good anymore.

You guys don't even know you. We're not talking about you.

I wasn't talking about you.

I have Jalen Hurts 14-1 win MVP.

It'd be a shame if after like.

No, I didn't take it.

I don't know.

Five, six games, it was apparent that Kevin Stefanski wasn't the guy.

Excuse me, not Kevin.

Wait.

Not Kevin Stefanski.

I didn't mean to say that.

We love Kevin Stefanski.

I meant to say the other guy whose name ends in nine, Nick Sirianni.

Oh.

That is more like it. Kevin Stefanski's a very coach.
He's the guy. I meant to say the other guy whose name ends in nine, Nick Sirianni.
Oh. That is more likely.

Kevin Savanti is a very good coach.

He's the guy.

I like Kevin Savanti.

No, I'm back in on Nick Sirianni.

I'm back in on Sirianni.

Oh, you are?

Yeah.

Why?

Italians got to stick together?

Yeah, no.

It's the start of a new year.

We got good guys around them.

We got good vibes going into the year.

Listen, I hope that the Eagles are good.

And I do mean that, Max. I know that you probably think, you think I'm fucking with you? No, you want them to be good enough.
Correct. Yeah.
Correct. That's what everyone should always be rooting for.
It's what I say when I do the Doug stream where I'm like, you don't want me to lose in the regular season. You want me to lose in the playoffs.
That's when it's maximum pain. So I want the Eagles to be good.
be good but if they're not which would be a shame it's going to get weird with nick sirianni very weird he doesn't feel like someone who's going to control that well because they basically hired two assistant teachers for him yeah come in yeah like you can't handle the classroom yeah uh good question but bad question it would it would be a shame if jordan love won mvp high that would be a shame it'd be a MVP. That would be a shame.
It'd be a shame. High Tall Guy, PFT, Father of Three, Big Cat, Captain Hank, and Meatball Max.
We all know the odd jobs PFT has worked before the pod. Who anyone else on the pod has worked a job not remotely close to what you guys are doing now? All of my jobs before the pod.
Yeah, all of my jobs too. I worked as a caterer i worked as a uh i actually for a while there i did uh focus groups do you guys ever do that yeah those i got paid like 200 bucks to like try shit out was awesome and you just fuck with the people yeah yeah uh i did i did the worst job i had was i was the guy who would call you when you're sitting down to dinner asking you to donate to the University of Wisconsin that was bad so my hours were literally like 5 to 8 p.m.
and I would just sit there at a phone and just I'd have to call like 100 people in a row that sucked bad cold calls are so hard to do yeah I was a shift manager at a valet parking company oh you you look like a valet parker yeah i did that for four years you were always running right yeah you run you run a lot in valet actually well not when i did you do that early once you become a manager all you do is ticket and then hand off and then hand off the tickets to the runners that's what you got to do so wait when when people bring in stick shifts, what would you do? I couldn't do stick shifts. Also...
Do you get paid more if you could grab... That's why you delegate as the shift manager? Delegate the stick shift thing, of course.
Another thing... That sounds like you might have tried to drive the stick shifts.
If you have a stick shift, do not ever give it to a valet. Yeah, so you definitely tried to draw the stick shifts.
Sometimes, I don't even know if I should be saying this. Yeah, say it.
Statue of limitations. Sometimes there's private parties.
Sometimes there's private parties where someone will valet and then you know that they're not coming out for six hours because they can't leave the event early. If someone has a stick shift, at every site I worked at, there was one person who tried to teach everyone else how to drive a stick shift.
I love it. There was like five times with somebody's random car who went into the thing.
I learned how to drive a stick shift enough to move it from point A to point B, just on some random person's car. What was the policy like if at the end of the night somebody came out, asked for the keys back, and you could tell they should not be driving? That's on the restaurant.
That's not on us. Here you go, sir.
Yeah. That's a thing that we were told they were like, that's on the restaurant to tell them whether or not they can drive the worst the worst part is sometimes you would lose a key if you lose a key that's an awkward conversation do you lose a key uh i was never a manager of a shift where someone lost a key but i was a i had been a runner in one and it's super awkward like the manager has to drive the person home it has to offer this may have been before

the one that i remember may have been before like uber was very like ubiquitous yeah so the person drove the the the person home to get their spare key yeah and then they have and then obviously the company would pay i'm Mr. Romero O'Connell, but I seem to have lost your key.
One of the craziest ones is that Memes was an accountant. I mean, that's the least crazy.
No, but we don't talk about it. I think Memes did cold calling too or something, didn't you? I've had so many jobs.
I worked at Burger King, Panera Bread, Cheesecake Factory, Ruby Tuesday, UPS. How bad were you at these jobs? No, no.
They were all quick summer job, one month. Demolition.
That rocks. I worked manual labor where I literally was not skilled enough to do anything but dig the trenches.
I just dig ditches all summer. I did tree work where I just picked up the branches that fell after someone cut down a tree.
Yeah, I dug

holes and got made fun of in Spanish

for an entire summer. Yeah,

cold calling was not fun.

No, cold calling is

by far the worst because you just

all, you're just like,

I would call and a successful night

would be getting one donation

an hour, which would be like 50

calls. Yeah, you have to be a real sicko.
People who are really good at cold calling, really good at sales, you have to be fucked in the head. It really sucked.
Yeah, because you have to be able to say, okay, 39 people hang up on me. Doesn't matter.
Yeah. One person I get to talk to for five minutes, that's a win.
My job's around Brando's Little League umpire, Taco Bell drive-thru, stock shelves, dishwasher, busboy, cook, landscaper, that was dishwasher, prep cook, regular cook. I applied to be a busboy at a company.
They said, we need cooks. Can you cook? I said, sure.
And they never trade me. Yeah.
And I just started working in the kitchen. I love that.
I love that. And I was like working the fry later, which was easy.
But then there was one guy got fired. One guy got, the head cook got fired in real time for saying inappropriate stuff to a waitress that walked by, like got insta-fired.
And then I had to finish the shift as the head chef with no experience. I love that.
That's a great episode. But it was a sports bar.
It was a sports bar. Being a caterer sucked too sucked too just walking around just hoping that people would take your like if you get like stuffed mushrooms or something you're just fucked the uh about little league umpire what was your strike three call i could strike three because i was i was a demon literally umpire i was fast because like my friend was the one that would assign the um so you're like always assign me and my two friends and we would just power through.

Honestly, in hindsight,

and I was telling the catchers too,

and the batters,

they're like, swing, buddy.

I was a soccer ref for like four years.

I was a basketball ref.

And then it turns out that the guy

that was in charge of assigning

all the assignments for soccer refs,

who I refed with all the time

as like a linesman,

he got busted by the CIA for being for being a pedophile oh yeah and then and then i was like he never he never came on to me oh i was a basketball ref and i 100 it was like fifth graders i 100 like called against kids i didn't like like if they like cried or like were a little boisterous, I'd just follow them out right away. I reffed the one year I was in college.
I did intramural reffing and I watched. I still think about it all the time.
It makes me laugh even though it was terrific for the kid. I knew him.
Tip, wide open layup. Kid goes to do the wide open layup, tears his ACL.
I thought he was faking it. No one was even near one was even near him it was like you know a free tip just you know make the layup and he comes down and goes on the ground is screaming in pain and everyone kind of took a second to be like is he joking oh and he tore his acls on crutches for the rest do you guys have jobs that you tried to get that didn't get that you're like wow that was good that i didn't get that museum science oh what'd you done there uh the when i was applying for barcel i had a family connection the museum science to do video production for the butterfly exhibit oh that would be nice yeah i had uh would have not worked here i got to my i got to my second interview in uh medical sales that they basically were like you either had to be a hot girl or a college athlete, like play football at college.
And I think about that every now and then where I'm like, I would have 100% just been selling opioids and been like, what? It's money. Yeah.
So that was good that I didn't get that because that was like the timeline lines up. But I've been like, yeah, it's fine.
I applied to work for Bleacher Report in 2011, and they sent me the meanest rejection email. It said, quite frankly, a column like this is something we would never allow to appear on any of our sites.
Fuck them. Yeah, I got to look that one up.
I was a production intern for the... I applied to be a production intern for the Flyers.

Interview went really well.

I was still in school.

And the guy called me.

He was like, we want you to take the job.

But can you take this?

Basically asking, can you take this semester off?

Because the other guy, like Drexel gives people a semester off.

So he could do five days a week.

And I could only do three.

And I was, I remember I was so upset.

I was like, I can't just take...

Flyers Max.

Awesome.

Here's my rejection letter from Bleach

Report. Just found it.
Your post

included offensive language

such as mentioning of the

Aryan race. It was about

Bruce Arians.

Thanks. Once again

we apologize for not notifying you sooner.

Below is a copy of your post for your own records.

This is something that we would not allow on any of our sites.

Whoops.

Damn.

How are they doing now?

Pretty good.

Yeah.

Okay.

Do we have any others?

That's some good questions.

The main issue coming away from writing sample is that you were missing several things. For one, your points were not backed up with any supporting information or analysis.
Not the point. Simply stating a coach's win-loss record is not enough.
You need to actually back those opinions up. Nope.
Anything about the grammar? This is an assumption. It comes with no backing.
In all honesty, it's sentences like this that our content moderation teams would not let on our site we'd rather have you produce an article that is based on results losers and more importantly the situation around Chuck Pagano is a sensitive subject that's great all right perfect Let's do numbers. 17.
3.

56.

11.

Whoa, Matt.

38.

Switch it up.

Switch it up.

PFT, have you ever gotten this?

21.

How does that feel? It feels great.

I love it because I'm about to get number 8.

78.

Not even close.

78.

This stinks. Love even close.
78. This stinks.