CFB Mega Preview With Tom Fornelli & Brandon Walker, Joey Chestnut + Mt Rushmore Of Things In A College Guys Apartment

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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have an awesome college football preview with our good friend Tom Fornelli. And we also invited Brandon Walker.

Speaker 1 You'll hear at the beginning, we told Brandon Walker he's going to be the college football expert this year. He did not know that Tom Fornelli was in the studio.
It was great.

Speaker 1 Brandon Walker was great too. So, awesome deep dive with the two of them.
Our two favorite college football experts, not named Danny Staples.

Speaker 6 Yeah, they were very good. Brandon's got a shady track record whenever someone labels him as an expert.
Yeah. But he did a good job this time.
That's true.

Speaker 1 So we also have an interview with our good friend, Joey Chestnut, who has a big competition coming up on Monday.

Speaker 1 Perfect, perfect come down from the football we're going to watch all weekend long. We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of Things in Every College Guy's Apartment.

Speaker 1 It is still anyone's Mount Rushmore between Hank and PFT.

Speaker 1 And then we'll have Fire Fest.

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Speaker 1 At participating, McDonald's.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 Hey,

Speaker 1 Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by DraftKings. Score big with DraftKings all college football season long.
Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app now and use code TAKE.

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When you bet just five bucks only on DraftKings, the crown is yours. Today is Friday, August 30th, and football is back.
PFT.

Speaker 1 We're recording this early because pup punk this weekend, go buy tickets, Philly in Washington, D.C.

Speaker 1 But you finally got your Lindenwood game.

Speaker 6 We're Lindenwood tonight, man. I'm heavy on Lindenwood.
I have no choice but to bet on that.

Speaker 6 Although I do like Kansas, but I'm going to have to bet on Lindenwood.

Speaker 1 That felt like the longest week ever.

Speaker 6 It was such a long week. And then with reports that that Putin was acting up in Ukraine, I thought maybe World War III would start

Speaker 6 and we wouldn't get to the Lindenwood, Kansas game.

Speaker 6 Fortunately, cooler heads prevailed, and we made it.

Speaker 6 And that is actually a secret phobia of mine. Every single offseason, and I refer to our offseason as football offseason.
There are other sports, but I love football.

Speaker 6 And every year, I'm terrified that the asteroid is going to happen

Speaker 6 right before kickoff. So we've got, we still have another week until NFL, until it's fully football season.
Knock on wood. Knock on wood.
So Asteroid, just mind your own business.

Speaker 6 Putin, kindly just fuck off for another week.

Speaker 1 How many World War IIIs have almost happened? A lot. It feels like in the last two years, it's been

Speaker 1 hundreds.

Speaker 6 Do you think right after World War I ended, they were like, why do we keep calling this World War I?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Why are we, does that mean we're going to do it again? It's weird. Oh, shit.
Is there a sequel coming?

Speaker 1 Oh, fuck. We didn't realize that we have to do a sequel.

Speaker 6 Was this a prequel?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true. Hank, big news for for you.
You have a starting quarterback. Yeah.
Jacoby Brissett. Yep.

Speaker 6 I actually like Jacoby Brissette a lot. I think

Speaker 6 he's a good quarterback. He'll get you probably eight wins if he starts the entire season.

Speaker 1 So you're not going to. Eight? Eight.

Speaker 6 Jacoby Brissette is eight? Jacoby Brissette is a sneaky eight-win quarterback.

Speaker 9 It's a lot for their roster. Their offensive line.

Speaker 6 I'm just saying Jacoby Brissette is a sneaker.

Speaker 9 So you're going to bet the over for the Patriots win total, which is what, five and a half?

Speaker 6 Three and a half?

Speaker 1 It might be four and a half. Yeah, I'm going to take the over.

Speaker 6 You know what? I will take the over on that. I actually don't think that they'll win eight games.
I'm just saying Jacoby Brissett feels like an eight-win quarterback guy under the radar.

Speaker 6 I wouldn't be surprised if they won six, seven.

Speaker 1 Seven? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm going to tell you.

Speaker 1 I'd be stunned. Okay.

Speaker 1 Jacoby Brissette.

Speaker 1 I mean, he seems like a great dude. We've got to have him on the show at some point.

Speaker 1 I like Jacoby Brissette. Hank, are you a little sad, though, that you don't get to be in.

Speaker 1 Jacoby Brissette, just not to correct you, has never won eight games.

Speaker 6 Because he's never started a full season. Right.

Speaker 1 He's gone. Well, he has started a full season.
He went 4-11. Okay.
And he started another season. He won seven games.

Speaker 6 That's 15 games.

Speaker 1 Seven and eight. Yeah, so I mean, you couldn't get to eight with

Speaker 1 four wins. And he went four and seven,

Speaker 1 and then not a full, full season, four and seven, and then seven and eight. So he was close.
He could have gotten to eight there. Yeah.

Speaker 6 He's also, I think he's the best quarterback sneaker of all time. If you look at his yards per sneak hank, so you got that going for you.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Huge. I'll never forget.
There was like my first year working on the show, there was a Thursday night football game that Jacoby Brissette started.

Speaker 2 I think it was for the

Speaker 2 Browns where we started the show saying, and Jacoby Brissette might be the guy.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I was like, he flashes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. I think he's, I wouldn't say he's an eight-win quarterback.
I think he's

Speaker 1 gets you a couple wins in

Speaker 1 like your starter goes down, Jacoby Roussette comes in, he can tread water. He's a tread water guy.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's a three and four guy.

Speaker 6 Three and four is not bad.

Speaker 1 Three and four is not bad. He's tread water.
Yep. Like, hey, the season didn't fully fall apart, but we also didn't really win.

Speaker 6 I may have gotten over my skis by saying eight wins at the start.

Speaker 1 I knew what you were saying. I want to take five.

Speaker 6 I want to take accountability for that. Like it.
Because when you're wrong on the show, it's important to admit that you're wrong. Yeah.

Speaker 6 I may have been wrong like 30 seconds ago, but I'm right when I say that he will get you a few more wins if he starts a full slate than you would think that he would get you.

Speaker 1 I think the only thing you did wrong was you should have said he's an eight-win vibe guy.

Speaker 6 Eight-win vibe guy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Might not get you eight wins, but you'll feel like eight wins is possible.

Speaker 6 He'll get you eight covers.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true. Yeah.
That's true.

Speaker 1 So congrats, Hank.

Speaker 1 Good job on that. You have a starting quarterback? Yeah.

Speaker 6 Congratulations. Are you feeling like you're going to be missing out on the rookie quarterback excitement that's going to be permeating this podcast?

Speaker 9 No, because if things go south for you guys, it's

Speaker 9 Whereas

Speaker 9 the Patriots also aren't in win now. The Commanders aren't either, but you, for some reason, think they are.

Speaker 1 No, I don't. You're wrong with what you just said.

Speaker 1 What? You're wrong. The Bears are definitely not over.

Speaker 1 You don't know what it's like to have a rookie quarterback.

Speaker 1 Things are definitely not over if things go wrong in the first year. That's when you go, hey, year two is going to be different, sophomore bump.

Speaker 1 After year two goes bad, you're going to be like, okay, this might be a problem, but year three, new year, fresh start, and then year three goes bad, and you're like, maybe, though, we should extend him.

Speaker 1 So really, there's a lot of time before things go over.

Speaker 6 And you forgot after year two.

Speaker 1 You can convince yourself they aren't over.

Speaker 6 When year two goes bad, then you get a new offensive coordinator. Right.
And then you read all the reports of how they're clicking. It's more quarterback friendly.

Speaker 1 Maybe an older wide receiver.

Speaker 6 Yeah, you get a veteran presence in there, and then you can convince yourself, yeah, he could turn around year three.

Speaker 1 He just needed some targets.

Speaker 6 Yeah, he has like a really good performance in the second half of a couple games where they're losing by 30 points, and you're like, you know what? He made a couple really nice throws there.

Speaker 6 Yeah, so no.

Speaker 1 No. You're wrong.
Things are not over.

Speaker 9 But I'm not, I don't, I'm not going to get FOMO about Drake May not starting our offensive lines bad. I think the roster's not great.
It's okay. You know, it's a rebuilding year.

Speaker 9 Just embrace it for what it is.

Speaker 1 Put a pin in that, Hank. I think mid-October, you're going to be like, let's see what the young guy's got.
Because that's also part of it.

Speaker 1 You definitely get to a point where you're like, hey, can we just

Speaker 1 get one in five? Yeah. You're going to be like, let's just see what the young guy's got.

Speaker 9 No, then you start looking at, you start looking at the draft board, start paying attention to college football.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Start paying attention, which is back.

Speaker 6 I think you're going to have FOMO, though.

Speaker 6 I think you're going to see me and Big Cat so emotionally invested in our quarterbacks, and you're going to want a taste of that because it's going to be sad watching Jacoby Brissette go out there and have those covers that

Speaker 6 he'll play better than you think he is, but you're going to get sick of losing. And then you're going to say, I just want the excitement of seeing what my guy can do.

Speaker 9 I mean, this is loser mentality.

Speaker 9 I feel like we've talked about it a bunch on the show, but your guys' ultimate goal is achieving one, you know, if you could have one fifth of the success that the Patriots had in that 20-year run, you'd be thrilled.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, that'd be a good thing.

Speaker 9 Whereas I've felt it. It'd be a little more than

Speaker 9 you can't, it's impossible to expect those results forever. I would love to be able to.
I'm very happy with the 20-year run we had.

Speaker 9 If we don't have a good year, I'm not going to be that upset about it. And that might upset people.

Speaker 1 I don't care.

Speaker 6 I would love to be in a position where Patrick Mahomes could just absolutely crush my dreams of the Super Bowl. That's what I want.
Like, choke me, Daddy.

Speaker 6 I want to be.

Speaker 1 You want him to dom you?

Speaker 6 I want to get... I want to be the sub for Patrick Mahomes.
It sucks. No, but it's fun.
You get so many fun memories. No.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 2 I have no fun memories from that.

Speaker 1 No, there were some fun memories. Yeah, with dance.

Speaker 9 Jalen Hurts will suck his dick right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 6 when you beat the 49ers when they didn't have a quarterback, that was fun.

Speaker 1 And tried to say that that was a real game that should count.

Speaker 2 What do you mean it should count?

Speaker 1 It shouldn't have counted.

Speaker 2 They should have just replayed the game. Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, until Brock Purdy's elbow was okay.

Speaker 1 Do you guys want to do another anonymous poll? Yeah, I'd love to. We should conduct our own anonymous poll at some point.
It's all in the rage right now. So anonymous poll time.
These are my favorite.

Speaker 1 I have some good quotes from this. This is NFL agents dish on best and worst franchise

Speaker 1 from the athletic.

Speaker 1 So they had which is the best run franchise. Max Eagles were number one with tied with the 49ers.
Congratulations. Let's go.
Let's go. Eagles and 49ers.

Speaker 1 Howie, there was a lot of praise for Howie and everything he does, which is the most unstable franchise. I think this one won't surprise anyone.
Most unstable franchise.

Speaker 6 Most unstable franchise, the Carolina Panthers.

Speaker 1 That is correct. A resounding number one with the Carolina Panthers because David Tepper,

Speaker 1 if he's got one fan, it's Peter Schraeger. Yeah, that's about it.

Speaker 6 He can't buy any of the other owners' houses and bulldoze them to the ground.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the quote actually was,

Speaker 1 I think the headline for this section should be that for the first time in my career, most NFL organizations are relatively competent. Wow, how about that? Which that is a direct dance.

Speaker 1 We would have voted Dan Snyder if he was there.

Speaker 6 It's actually nice not being on that list really anymore.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 And I actually could see if the Packers were to beat the Panthers multiple times in the playoffs, I could see David Tepper buying all the Green Bay Packers' owners' homes and leveling them and building his own home there.

Speaker 6 He's that kind of guy. But yeah, it's nice to have a new boogeyman.

Speaker 1 I want to do something else here. Blind poll, blind quote.
So I'm going to take out anything that describes what team this is talking about. You guys tell me the team.
You ready for this?

Speaker 1 There is complete disarray over there. Look at how they've handled blank.

Speaker 1 Has one player had more power than him?

Speaker 1 They have been unable to convert him into a team player. The vibe inside the building is terrible.

Speaker 6 jets that's correct well

Speaker 1 i would the jets they're not in disarray they're out of formation if you know anything about jets but this is actually accurate describing aaron rods having the most power he's got the most power in the nfl so memes should what how do we find this we gotta we gotta find out who this blind polar was rossini no i it was i think it was g I think it was oh maybe it was let's see who was voted who voted who voted let's get this name

Speaker 1 let's see The athletics: 31 representatives of our sixth annual NFL agent survey. So, agents.
We need to find some agents.

Speaker 6 It was an anonymous agent.

Speaker 1 It was an anonymous agent that said the Jets are in complete disarray over there. Look at how they've handled Aaron Rodgers.
Has one player had more power than him? He skipped minicamp.

Speaker 1 They've been unable to convert him into a team player. The vibe inside the building is terrible.

Speaker 6 I'm going to go out on a limb, and I think that this anonymous agent might represent Hassan Reddick.

Speaker 1 Well, it's 31 of them. Okay, well, if you're a victim.
So that quote, that quote.

Speaker 6 Yeah, if you can't trust an anonymous agent, who can you trust? That's true.

Speaker 1 So, memes, we got to find who this Rossini is.

Speaker 2 Bunch of songs.

Speaker 1 Or sorry, this Florio is.

Speaker 1 All 31 of them. Be better at your job.
Be better at your pay.

Speaker 1 This was a fun one. What average annual value would three-time Super Bowl MVP Patrick Mahomes receive if he were a free agent on the open market?

Speaker 9 80 mil.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 6 the most common answer was 70 mil but there were six people who voted for over a hundred million dollars holy shit crazy can you even build a team I don't know I don't I don't know if that's possible I saw that Deshaun Watson just restructured his contract and I think next season and the year after he's going to get like the the cap hit is going to be 74 million dollars oh my god on him which I saw what the Browns did I do not understand the salary cap.

Speaker 6 No. It's not real.
It makes no sense. It can't be real.
So they had him signed to a guaranteed contract, and they said, we're going to restructure, convert it to a signing bonus.

Speaker 6 We just freed up like $70 million.

Speaker 6 They have the most cap room in the NFL right now. It doesn't make any sense at all.

Speaker 6 If you sign a guy to like a very unfriendly cap deal, and then a year and a half later, you can be like, actually, it's a really good deal for the cap this season. Yeah.
It doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and we can cut them whenever. And this money's not real.

Speaker 1 I do like playing that game, though. If there was no salary cap whatsoever, what would he make? $250 million a year?

Speaker 6 No salary cap? No salary. For Patrick Mahomes?

Speaker 1 The Chiefs would still run an organization where they want to make money, but

Speaker 1 it's the old one LeBron was in his heyday. Like,

Speaker 1 what is he actually worth? Like, I don't know, $300 million?

Speaker 6 Yeah, if the NFL was truly free market capitalism, he might go to the Panthers.

Speaker 6 David Tepper, they might turn this ship around. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're right.

Speaker 1 Okay, we also had,

Speaker 1 I think there was the team their most, or team who had best offseason, that was the Commanders.

Speaker 6 Let's go, offseason champs.

Speaker 1 Commanders won that. They said basically just everything, the vibes have changed.
They don't have Aaron Rodgers. Yep.
Yep. All that stuff.

Speaker 6 No, Aaron Rodgers is a big one.

Speaker 9 We just signed Nick Balori.

Speaker 6 Nick Balori, we signed that the wide receiver from Houston.

Speaker 6 We unfortunately cut Martavis Bryant. Yeah, which you found out in the middle of the Jerry O'Connell.
I still think we could bring him back.

Speaker 1 You're getting Ayuk?

Speaker 6 Yeah, we're going to get Ayuk. When's that going to happen? So Ayuk was, he was supposed to practice yesterday.

Speaker 6 There was a report out of San Francisco he was going to practice, and then all the reporters just went out onto the practice field and just watched for Brandon Ayuk to come out, and he never did.

Speaker 6 So things aren't going great with whatever they're negotiating out there. I don't know.

Speaker 6 Brandon Ayuk is just, he's reached the point where I just want it to be over. Yeah.
I want to know what's going to happen with him this year. Yeah.
And the back and forth is, it's gone way too long.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 1 The last thing that I found funny about this poll, because this is, again, agents,

Speaker 1 they asked what they should change. This is NFL agents.
They should say college players should be allowed to enter the draft as a one and done.

Speaker 1 That's interesting. Yeah.
They want to get more players to be able to represent. They also said add rounds to the draft.

Speaker 6 That's not necessary. Okay.
Well, because think about it. If you're an agent, don't you want there to be like seven rounds is okay.

Speaker 6 You might even want six rounds because if you're a seventh round pick, you'd almost rather just be able to choose where you want to go and negotiate your own signing bonus at that point.

Speaker 1 These are just funny, like, how could you make a perfect world? And they're, here's another one.

Speaker 1 Any three years or less contracts should be fully guaranteed. I'm fine with that.
Yeah, that's good.

Speaker 1 Shrink the length of rookie contracts so players can get to a second contract quicker. Again, this has nothing to do with the agents making money.
For running backs.

Speaker 1 Well, they said that the change the running back to fix the running back thing is to have the one and done or college players don't have to stay three years, which I agree with. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, if you're a really good running back, usually you find out if you're a really good running back within the first two years. Why add that extra wear and tear? I agree.

Speaker 6 Also, I like the idea of being a one and done in college just to piss off Dabo Swinney more. Yeah.
Yes. He would hate.

Speaker 6 He might actually, he might commit Suppuku at the 50-yard line with his own cleat if that happens. He's like, I'm sacrificing myself at the altar of college football.

Speaker 1 This one, actually, I agree with. Separate salary bucket for quarterbacks.
That makes sense. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Basically, let the quarterbacks get paid something completely separate so it doesn't, again, the cap doesn't make sense, but they're so out of control compared to everything else.

Speaker 1 You do a separate bucket where it's like, you know, every team has $100 million or whatever, and then the rest of the roster is under a salary cap. I don't mind that.

Speaker 6 I like the idea of having that separate bucket for quarterbacks and also for running backs. Yeah.
I think that the Zoom call that they did last year really changed my mind about a lot of things.

Speaker 1 It did big time.

Speaker 1 And then, yeah, there was just another one that was raised rosters to 60 players on game day.

Speaker 1 So, again, that would be, they'd just be able to represent more NFL players.

Speaker 6 Yeah, so I stand with the anonymous agents.

Speaker 6 Doing a poll of anonymous agents is such a funny thing to do. It's very funny.
It's like, let's figure out how these guys want to make more money out of it.

Speaker 1 Raise the agent fees to 25%.

Speaker 6 I stand with the agents on that one.

Speaker 1 All right, yeah, those anonymous polls. I love anonymous polls.
We should conduct one.

Speaker 6 Yeah, let's do it.

Speaker 1 We should conduct one.

Speaker 1 We should come up with one maybe mid-season, and we can do about how the season's going and have all the AWLs vote on it, and then just release the findings like they're facts.

Speaker 6 Or we just ask our friends that are in the NFL to vote in the polls.

Speaker 1 We just ask people in the office.

Speaker 6 Yeah, we can do that, too.

Speaker 1 We should do anonymous polls around the office.

Speaker 6 Yeah, there was also a report about Tom Brady, Hank's best friend, Tom Brady. Oh.
So he is trying to purchase a stake in the Raiders, which I think that's progressing.

Speaker 6 I feel like we have a vote about that

Speaker 6 in two weeks.

Speaker 1 He was wearing a Raiders hat at the Morgan Wall concert oh was he

Speaker 6 interesting so is he already like officially officially

Speaker 6 i don't know anything other than that i just assumed that meant that it was happening so there's a rule that the court happened in place because he's going to be doing games he's going to be calling games now right where as an owner he's not going to be allowed to do any like pre-production or behind-the-scenes visits with any of the teams that he's going to be covering right because he's going to get some like secret sauce from them or something and that's going to be against the rules he's going to use that that's pretty much what true aikman has been doing for the last 20 years to make sure the cowboys stay on top yeah and it's done an incredible job and so they don't want a repeat of that with the raiders and uh florio is all over this by the way hank uh he said this is the opening paragraph from his article about it such a florio story tom brady's first significant encounter with the raiders happened in the tuck rule game the latest developments wow he's really setting the stage there oh just wait oh just wait because like okay he's setting you up right now yeah yeah yeah tom brady's first significant encounter with the raiders happened in the tuck rule game.

Speaker 6 The latest developments involving Brady and the Raiders could have him saying a different word that ends with UCK.

Speaker 1 Whoa. Suck.

Speaker 6 Buck. Is he making a Jujitsu? Is he making a jiu-jitsu joke? Is this the C?

Speaker 1 Is he going to PF Chains with Mark Davis and getting the duck?

Speaker 6 Cuck. I think he's talking about.

Speaker 1 Oh, cuck. Yeah.
Got it.

Speaker 9 Facebook?

Speaker 1 Florio doesn't know that word.

Speaker 9 Zuck.

Speaker 1 Florio does not know the word cuck.

Speaker 6 I don't think he does either.

Speaker 1 He's an Italian man. He doesn't get cucked.

Speaker 6 But

Speaker 6 it seems like Brady. I don't know.
Florio is saying that the league is trying to convince Brady not to have a stake in the Raiders.

Speaker 1 Got it.

Speaker 6 I don't think Roger Goodell would overstep his balance when it comes to punishing Tom Brady. No.
That doesn't seem like it.

Speaker 9 But let the finance bros come running in. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Right. Yeah.
The Bengals.

Speaker 6 The Bengals were the only team that voted against that. They just love being the one team that does Mike Brown stuff.

Speaker 1 I actually feel bad for Bengals fans right now because obviously Jamar Chase is,

Speaker 1 i think he was supposed to be at practice or he's like oh yeah he's gonna practice uh for the rest of the week or or up until week one and then he showed up in uh street clothes i feel bad for bengals fans because mike brown is so so cheap and he was like i have to pay joe burrow and then once he paid joe burrow he's like no i'm never doing that again

Speaker 6 it sucks yeah he's just you have like a you jamar chase and joe burrows should play together forever yeah he's he's right now house poor right like i spent all my money money on Joe Burrow, so I'm not spending a dime on anything else.

Speaker 6 It's crazy.

Speaker 1 I don't understand.

Speaker 1 I get like you want to own the team and you have the power and you feel like a big, strong guy, but like, dude, if you can't fucking pay and if you, if you, if you're going to be cheap, just fucking sell the team and go be rich and fuck off.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Just do it.

Speaker 1 Like, I mean, the McCaskies are kind of similar, although

Speaker 1 I'm back on the McCasky side because they kept swearing out of hard knocks, which was very important.

Speaker 6 That's good. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They made sure there was no swearing on the on hard knocks because it would you can't have that not not in football not in football. No, not in FL.
No.

Speaker 1 All right, before we do Mount Rushmore, I also saw Ravens GM sees increased urgency in Lamar.

Speaker 1 So that's good. Good, yeah.

Speaker 6 He wasn't urgent enough. That was the problem.
There's urgency. You're talking about urgent care?

Speaker 1 That's one of my favorite.

Speaker 1 If you're a fan of a team that has been close but hasn't gotten over the hump, where the, like sometime in late August, where you get reports being like,

Speaker 1 they really feel the pressure to win.

Speaker 1 They really want to win this year.

Speaker 6 Yeah. There was a interview with Caleb Williams.
It might have been your guys Waddle and Sylvie that did it, but they were talking about pressure. They're like, do you feel any pressure?

Speaker 6 And he was like, no, I don't, I don't, I never feel pressure. Yeah.
I just think about the expectations that I have for myself that I have to go out there and be the best and win.

Speaker 6 He described pressure. Yeah.
But he just doesn't call it pressure. He doesn't call it pressure.
It's a good, it's a good move. It's a judo move.
It's very smart.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
It's like,

Speaker 6 i'm not anxious i've just got a lot to do tomorrow yeah i just got a lot on my mind and i want to make sure that everything happens and then i keep going through the worst case scenario of what could happen and then i overthink that and then i try to go to sleep but i can't because i'm thinking about it too much yeah but anxiety is not a word in my it's a chick thing yeah yeah we don't have we don't get anxious here yeah we just we just constantly think about the future and if everything's going to work out.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 There was a great college football story, too.

Speaker 6 Did you see this about Chuck Martin from, I think it was University of Miami at Ohio?

Speaker 1 Okay. Love and Honor?

Speaker 6 Yep. They were talking about iPads and how iPads are going to be on the sidelines in college football this year.
And he is the only guy that voted against using iPads on the sideline.

Speaker 6 He said, I don't want iPads. In the old days, you actually had to coach.
You had to watch the action, figure out what was going on, and then go make adjustments.

Speaker 6 I can get a nine-year-old kid to watch the play on an iPad and say, that guy was running wide open up the scene. We should cover him.

Speaker 1 I agree with him.

Speaker 6 And then he said

Speaker 6 at the end that you used to have to make in-game adjustments, but now the iPad will make them for you. Pretty soon there will be robots on the sidelines and you won't even have to hire anyone.

Speaker 6 Soon we'll have fake officials, fake players, fake coaches. Yep.
So he described NCAA. He described the college football team.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes, I agree with him. There's nothing worse than having someone watch you.
I'm speaking from a lot of experience, having someone watch you be like, X was open.

Speaker 6 Yeah, yep, that's true.

Speaker 6 Also, kids these days as they get into college they're used to having screen time to just make them shut up at dinner right it's like oh are you are you gonna annoy us for this entire dinner just watch this game just play this game on your iPad the whole time so that's gonna make its way into college football where coaches are just gonna get sick of their players complaining about stuff be like here just watch this iPad of a game and you'll be fine and it'll just kind of bring the temperature down on the sidelines yeah if they can just have screen time credit to me I don't I don't have my kids watch at dinner I just it's just basically a constant terrorist negotiation with being like, hey, you take one bite of this and you're getting an Oreo.

Speaker 6 That's pretty good. That's it.

Speaker 1 That's the whole thing. That's pretty good.
It's just a constant negotiation back and forth. Yeah.

Speaker 6 But I do, I like what Chuck, what's his name? Chuck Martin? I like what Chuck Martin's saying. Pretty soon we're just not going to have coaches and players anymore.
He's right. He's right.

Speaker 1 He's absolutely right.

Speaker 6 It's a slippery slope once you allow them to look at an iPad on the sideline.

Speaker 1 Guys are going to be marrying pigs.

Speaker 6 Next thing you know, people, there's not even going to be football anymore. We're going to be living in a simulation.

Speaker 1 Where's the line? Yeah. Where's the line? All right, so speaking of college football, you guys got any picks for people? Let's just do a pick for week one.

Speaker 1 We're going to talk our full preview with Brandon Walker and Tom Fernelli in a second, and we go through everything. But what's your favorite game week one, Hank?

Speaker 9 I looked at the board.

Speaker 9 I saw the one that jumped out, Eastern Michigan plus 2.5.

Speaker 1 Why did that jump out?

Speaker 9 Because UMass football should never be favorites against anyone. Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 6 No offense. Don't they have a really hard schedule this year?

Speaker 9 Umass? Yeah. Any game that they have is a hard schedule.

Speaker 1 That's true.

Speaker 1 Every year is a hard schedule.

Speaker 6 I think they're real sickos this year. I want to say that they've got like, are they playing several games against the SEC?

Speaker 1 I mean, they probably do.

Speaker 9 They usually always play one against the SEC. Yeah.

Speaker 1 By the way, go to DraftKings for any of your week one lines. All right, so Eastern Michigan, huh?

Speaker 9 Eastern Michigan plus two and a half.

Speaker 1 Okay, PFT?

Speaker 9 They're playing Georgia on November 23rd.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. Yikes.
Oh, no.

Speaker 6 And Mississippi State. They're playing Mississippi State.
I guess they're technically in Mississippi. Missouri.

Speaker 6 Yeah, they're sickos.

Speaker 1 They're sickos. I like PFT.

Speaker 6 I like the University of Richmond, the Spiders.

Speaker 6 I like the Spiders going into Charlottesville, playing UVA, 18.5. That's too many points.
Too many points. These guys get paid to play football, too, at Richmond.

Speaker 1 Although

Speaker 1 that UVA quarterback, I kind of like him. He's got Aura.

Speaker 6 Does he have an airborne?

Speaker 1 He's the guy who his helmet popped off last year and he took a picture flexing for a first down.

Speaker 6 Does he he have Aura or does he have Moxie?

Speaker 1 Both, I would say. And this is also because of our friend and colleague, Jake Malasek, always tweeting this picture.
So

Speaker 1 it could be that he sucks, and I have been brainwormed by those close around you talking about someone. Calandria.

Speaker 6 Oh, Calandria. Okay.

Speaker 6 I still like Richmond.

Speaker 6 Don't count out the Spiders early on in the season. Because

Speaker 6 they're going to get on the bus.

Speaker 6 They're going to drive from Richmond to Charlottesville, and they're going to have their coach say to them as they get off the bus, just remember, these guys at UVA, nobody there recruited you. Yeah.

Speaker 6 And then Richmond's going to step off and smash them. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I like that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Anthony Calandria, he finished the season with, he only won one game last year, but he's got an aura.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 6 Yeah, you have been tricked into like, into supporting UVA.

Speaker 1 I'm looking at his numbers right now.

Speaker 1 He had 13 touchdowns, nine interceptions. He finished the season.
I guess they beat Duke. That was probably why I've been tricked.
So they won his second to last game last year. I have been tricked.

Speaker 1 I have been brainwormed. It's going to cost me money.

Speaker 6 Hoodwink, bamboozle.

Speaker 1 Yes, led astray. I'm going to take USC.

Speaker 1 I've given it out on all the college football shows I've done.

Speaker 1 This is going to probably be a disaster because it's a Sunday night standalone game. Yep.
So,

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm going to be like, hey, remember when I just was like, yeah, USC, USC, just wait for Sunday night, USC. Hey, memes,

Speaker 1 how are you feeling about your Georgia Bulldogs this year?

Speaker 3 I'm feeling fantastic. They're going to beat the absolute fuck out of Clemson.

Speaker 1 Okay. I like that.
I want to see some memes, Georgia stuff, this year because it is, you are kind of,

Speaker 1 what's the guy, the Two-Face guy in Batman?

Speaker 6 Two-face. Two-face?

Speaker 1 Is that his name?

Speaker 9 Harvey Dent.

Speaker 1 Harvey Dent. You're Harvey Dent.
Yeah. You get the Jets in Georgia.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 People see you and you're like, oh, that's a normal-looking guy. And then you turn and your face is completely off because Florio and Rossini have burnt it so many times.

Speaker 3 Yeah, my weekends go Saturday, good because Georgia wins, come in, watch the Jets, they lose, and then I'm miserable the rest of the week. And then it goes Saturday win on repeat.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so you only get like 12 hours.

Speaker 6 Yeah, you have Saturday scaries. Yes.

Speaker 6 Like Saturday night, you're feeling good, you're having a great time, and you're like, oh, fuck, I got Jets tomorrow. I got to do this.
I got to go to Jets tomorrow.

Speaker 1 I just watched a competent team. Now I got to go back to the Jets.

Speaker 6 Yeah, there's a...

Speaker 1 But you're basically like a child of divorce. And

Speaker 1 you go for like one day to dad's house and play all these games, and you go to mom's house, and there's a lot of rules.

Speaker 6 You just want to go back, you're like, Yeah, but Georgia, but Georgia scores points.

Speaker 1 Can you score points? Yeah, but yeah, Georgia lets me eat Cheetos in bed. Why can't I do that here, mom? Jets, it's the best.

Speaker 6 Yeah, so it memes, you're not, you usually haven't been as over-the-top as a Georgia fan.

Speaker 6 Is that because they're an adopted team, or is that because you just, you always have that impending doom of being a Jets fan?

Speaker 3 Um, I adopted them in junior high when I got got a Matthew Stafford jersey sent to me. My uncle lives down there.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 3 they are adopted, but I still root for them equally as all the other teams.

Speaker 9 Also, being from the Northeast, it's like no one really has college teams. Like every most people from the Northeast have adopted college teams.

Speaker 1 Meems is a real

Speaker 1 Georgia fan.

Speaker 1 I'm going to back him up. He watches every game.
He knows every player. And then he roots for them on the Eagles.

Speaker 1 We have a big Georgia representative at Barcelona.

Speaker 3 It's me, Ryan Whitney, and Triggs.

Speaker 1 Yeah, all Northeast guys.

Speaker 6 Yeah, real Southerners, real SEC guys.

Speaker 1 Hey, isn't it crazy the Georgia team memes from two, three years ago that won the national tonight three years ago?

Speaker 1 Like all those players on the defense, like there's a lot of guys that kind of suck in the pros. Like who? I saw Lewis seen, right? He got cut.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Which there's no worse

Speaker 1 having anything say former first-rounder. Yeah.
That's a bad thing to have. When it's phrased that way, former first rounder.
Gets cut. That means that something bad has happened.

Speaker 6 I wonder what went wrong.

Speaker 1 Isn't, I mean, Nicoby Dean, has he played a lot?

Speaker 1 He's just been hurting. He's been hurt a lot.
Is he a third-rounder?

Speaker 1 No, yeah, I'm not saying where they were, but like, if you look at the Georgia defense that was so dominant three years ago, Jalen Carter. Jalen Carter has been good.
Memes, am I off on this?

Speaker 1 Georgia Ross.

Speaker 3 Well, Louis Cen just signed with the Jets, so they're going to revive him.

Speaker 1 I thought he switched to the Bills.

Speaker 3 No, the Jets.

Speaker 6 The Jets are going to revive him. Mike White's on the Bills.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Maybe I'm. Who was the other? There was a couple guys.
This might be very wrong. We'd have to maybe do a deep dive for memes.

Speaker 1 2021 defense.

Speaker 6 What's his name? Louis Cenes.

Speaker 1 They were supposed to be the best team in the history of college football. Wait,

Speaker 1 Louis Cene signed with the Bills? No, the Jets.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I'm reading right now, Ian Rapport, the Bills are actually signing former Vikings' first-round safety Louis Cene to their practice squad.

Speaker 2 This has Jets signing.

Speaker 1 Many thought Cene would land with the Jets. Oh, no.

Speaker 1 Wait, what?

Speaker 1 Oh, no.

Speaker 6 Wait, did the Jets turn him around by

Speaker 6 letting the Bills sign him?

Speaker 2 Wait, did this just happen?

Speaker 1 I mean, I'm seeing from three hours ago.

Speaker 2 Two hours ago, the Bills practice squad.

Speaker 1 Plot Twist, former Vikings first-rounder Louis Cene is expecting to sign with the Bills practice squad.

Speaker 1 Oh, no.

Speaker 1 He had initially leaned towards Jets, but opts to go elsewhere to the AFC East. Is

Speaker 1 the vibes terrible? Georgia fan revoke. Oh,

Speaker 6 I think this is an example of disarray. This is a team that would be...
A team that is in disarray would do something. Wow.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, memes. I'm sorry that you had to find this out right here and right now.

Speaker 1 That was a perfect rabbit hole we just went down to get to this point.

Speaker 6 Oh, my God. Sorry for your loss, memes.

Speaker 1 Memes?

Speaker 6 Did you already order the jersey?

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 You're pretending like this was a make-or-break player.

Speaker 3 I mean, we had 10 former first-rounders on the defense.

Speaker 1 That's cool. Oh, that would have been sick.
Wait, would he have made 11? No, he was 10. Oh, that would have been awesome.

Speaker 6 Like the Falcons from back in the day?

Speaker 1 Yeah, the offense. Yeah, that would have been sick.
Now I am kind of bummed for you.

Speaker 6 Sorry, memes.

Speaker 1 Sorry, memes.

Speaker 6 There's a great story that's coming out of Gainesville. Have you seen what's going on with the game between the Gators and the Hurricanes? No.
All right, so

Speaker 6 the University of Florida announced that they were going to do a whiteout for this game, which I guess they rarely do, but it's like, you know, opening week. Let's get all the students wearing white.

Speaker 6 Let's get all the fans wearing white. Make it a tough environment.
Miami then responded by choosing to wear their all-white uniform.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit.

Speaker 6 So they completely took the white from Florida, and now they own that white-out game. Oh, shit.
Now this is a University of Miami white-out game.

Speaker 1 Oh, no.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's shocking. That is shocking.
So, wait, so it's going to be, so who gets the whites?

Speaker 6 So, Florida is going, their fans are going to be wearing all white.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 6 But the Hurricanes are going to be dressed in all white on the field. Got it.
So it's going to look like.

Speaker 6 I think they completely lost home field advantage on this.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. Yeah, they did lose home field advantage.

Speaker 1 That's significant. Yeah.
That feels significant.

Speaker 1 What are you looking up? Oh, you're looking it up, Max?

Speaker 2 We're just looking at all the players.

Speaker 1 And how many are like crushing it? Because that was an insane defense. It's not taking anything away from their college defense.
It looks like they were.

Speaker 2 Trayvon Walker and Jalen Carter.

Speaker 1 Or the two that are like,

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 1 Because that was an

Speaker 1 insane, insane

Speaker 6 defense.

Speaker 1 And I only thought of it because I saw Lewis Cene was going to the Jets.

Speaker 1 He went to the Jets, right?

Speaker 6 He went to the Jets initially, but then he changed his mind and went to the Bills.

Speaker 3 Yeah, verbal meme, Aaron Rodgers walking out with the flag was Lewis Senior.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. Oh, no.

Speaker 6 It's a tough scene.

Speaker 1 Oh, no.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 let's do our Mount Rushwark.

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Speaker 1 Okay, boys, it all comes down to this: PFT and Hank are separated by three points, which means if Hank can win this Mount Rushmore and PFT somehow comes in last, we will have a tie and figure out what exactly we're going to do to break that tie.

Speaker 1 We have the Mount Rushmore

Speaker 1 of things

Speaker 1 in a College Guy's Apartment. Correct?

Speaker 6 What are the standings right now? The standing. I know I'm up three on Hank.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 You have no chance at coming in second right now.

Speaker 1 No, I've been kind of mailing them in because of the standing.

Speaker 6 Well, I thought

Speaker 6 as of

Speaker 6 today's poll, you could have come in third.

Speaker 1 Oh, I could come in third. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know. As soon as I clinched,

Speaker 1 I went with Max Autopilot.

Speaker 6 You clinched, not last place.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I mean, yeah, second and third mean nothing.
No,

Speaker 1 I've also clinched. Wait, I don't know when these standings were.

Speaker 6 Second place means nothing, Max?

Speaker 2 In this competition? No.

Speaker 1 In other competitions? Second place means nothing.

Speaker 9 You keep bringing up second place. It seems like you're gunning for big cat.

Speaker 1 You brought that up like three. Why does that matter? Yeah, why does it matter?

Speaker 6 Hank, are you trying to stir the pot a little bit?

Speaker 9 Have you not brought it up? Max, he brought it up to you?

Speaker 1 He's brought it up to me.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 2 He has not brought it up to me, but

Speaker 2 it does seem like

Speaker 2 you care a lot about second place, which means nothing.

Speaker 6 Well, I guess I don't in this because like you asked for the standing thing that matters

Speaker 6 literally means nothing it's not like second to last and last place do the punishment like in the baseball one right correct and even if that was the case you still wouldn't want second even more

Speaker 1 you just wouldn't want to be second to last that's all i'm saying yeah this what what the second place second and third place mean absolutely the minute i clinched yep i was like great pack it up I'm out.

Speaker 1 Awesome Mount Rushmore season. Did my job.
Yep.

Speaker 6 I was talking about the baseball one, where if you're second to last, it's not good.

Speaker 9 No. We do an NFL picks where you come in second.

Speaker 1 Yes. And last.
And last. You lose.

Speaker 2 Someone messaged me this week

Speaker 2 an idea that I like of next year doing a lottery system.

Speaker 1 What do you mean?

Speaker 1 Like

Speaker 2 lottery, like the NBA lottery.

Speaker 1 For what?

Speaker 2 So for doing the punishment. So if you come in last, you get like a ton of lottery balls to get picked to do the punishment.

Speaker 1 Oh, I do like that.

Speaker 1 Yes, I love that. That is a great idea.

Speaker 2 I think if you come in first, you're out.

Speaker 1 No, I think first you have like one lottery ball. Okay, yeah.
Yeah, it should be 100 lottery balls. We could just do it with our lottery ball machine.

Speaker 2 I wish I could do it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like

Speaker 1 if you come in last, you have 40 lottery balls. If you come in

Speaker 1 third, you have 30 lottery balls, then 20, then 10, or whatever it is.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I love that. Good idea.
I love that.

Speaker 1 I love that. Great idea.

Speaker 2 Because you and I have just been checked out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're right.

Speaker 1 We should incentivize. There shouldn't be just playing out the string.

Speaker 6 Yeah, you guys are doing load management now.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Basically.

Speaker 1 You're resting up for the playoffs.

Speaker 6 Pretty much.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I'm going to try, though, in this one, Max. We got to try in this one.
Yeah, yeah, we have to.

Speaker 1 We have to give it. We don't want it to

Speaker 1 have any issues. All right, so who's going first?

Speaker 1 Oh, I think it's me. Okay, so things that are in a single guy's apartments.

Speaker 6 College guy's apartments.

Speaker 1 College guy's apartments. Excuse me.

Speaker 2 I am going to go with

Speaker 1 liquor bottle decor.

Speaker 6 It's a good one, yeah. Good pick.
Yeah, any sort of alcohol

Speaker 1 or empty liquor bottles. Yep, yeah, just like this.
You put it around. Yep.

Speaker 2 Like, look how many empty bottles that we have in this house. Yep.

Speaker 6 Yeah, you ever put like Christmas lights into the liquor bottles and then use those. It's ways

Speaker 1 for us.

Speaker 6 Decorations, but they're like shitty liquor bottles. Yep.
Like aristocrat vodka. This is my centerpiece.
Yep.

Speaker 6 All right. My first pick, I'm going to go with an

Speaker 6 almost empty keg.

Speaker 6 Just having a keg in a corner somewhere. Okay.
And there's not enough beer in it to drink.

Speaker 6 It's probably been warm for about two weeks, but you still have the keg there because you can take it back, get the deposit, get it refilled at some point. But it's not totally empty yet.

Speaker 1 Yep. Okay.

Speaker 1 I'll go with easy um

Speaker 1 xbox and ps5 and specifically both because that's like a very college guy thing to be like we got both gaming systems and it's just like you don't need to but we have both we have one xbox guy one ps5 guy in here you had like ps2 when you were in college uh that's really funny i actually had xbox 360 why don't you go fuck yourself i

Speaker 1 i dealt with the red ring of death so did i

Speaker 9 oh so we're not that much different i was just curious you said ps5 obviously you didn't have a ps5 in college Well, I mean, what am I...

Speaker 1 All right, fine. I should say.
Was it PlayStation 2?

Speaker 9 Was it? No, it was Xbox 360. But you just said specifically both.

Speaker 1 No, I think he said Xbox and PlayStation 2. Xbox and PlayStation.
We just say Xbox and PlayStation 2. I'm saying both.

Speaker 1 I'm saying like every college apartment, like when you get older, you don't have two consoles in your house. Got it.
When you're in college, you have two consoles because why the fuck not?

Speaker 6 Yeah. Yeah, usually one guy brings one and another guy brings the other.

Speaker 1 It's a very college thing to have two of the consoles.

Speaker 6 I did have a PS3 in my apartment in college at at one point, but it's because we were broke as shit, and so we all pulled our money together.

Speaker 6 I waited in line for like three days to get a PlayStation 3, and I was like, I'm going to buy it, then I'm going to flip it right before Christmas. These things are going for like $10,000, $15,000.

Speaker 6 I get it, and then I put it online. Turns out that they're going for $10,000, $15,000 because they haven't come out yet.

Speaker 6 And then once I put mine online and everybody else did, I think I ended up losing $50

Speaker 6 after three days of us taking turns waiting in this line. But yeah, PS2, PS3.

Speaker 1 Xbox 360 was, for, I don't know, five, six years of my life, was definitely the most expensive thing I owned.

Speaker 1 And it was, I remember, I look, I watched the video to try to fix the Red Ring of Death with the hair dryer, the whole thing. Can't do it.
Can't do it. Can't do it.
Okay.

Speaker 9 I'm going to go with full-size trash cans. Yes.

Speaker 1 I love it. I miss it so much.
Just only have to take out the trash like once every month. Two of them.
I had two of them.

Speaker 6 Or you can burn it.

Speaker 1 Sometimes we would not even, we'd run out of trash bags. That got gross.

Speaker 2 We used to call it, I was, we used to call it a trash corner.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Where we would have our trash can there, and then it would overflow, so it would just fall out the side.

Speaker 1 So it just, it was just the corner of trash.

Speaker 6 Piles of trash, yeah.

Speaker 9 And I'll go with a massive bong.

Speaker 1 Ah, okay. Add it on the list.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 Good pick.

Speaker 6 The community bong.

Speaker 1 I was going to go bong is very, very good pick, Hank.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go with

Speaker 1 a shittily made beer punk table somewhere in the middle of the apartment, very sticky, gross.

Speaker 9 Also, probably the kitchen table.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it could be the kitchen table. But

Speaker 1 I'm thinking. Yeah, it doubles.
I'm thinking of the skinny one, you know, that everyone, like the rage of the skinny one, was like, oh, it doesn't take up that much space.

Speaker 1 And you just had a, like, oh, yeah, look, we have a football field table in the middle of the apartment.

Speaker 6 It could be made from plywood, like one big shit plywood that you get at Home Depot, and then you put it on some chairs. Could be just a door.
We took a door off the hinges one time.

Speaker 1 But it stays up. And then it stays up.
Yeah, we used to use the mirrors in freshman year. We'd take the mirror, the big sliding,

Speaker 1 what word am I looking for?

Speaker 6 Closet mirrors.

Speaker 1 We used to take those doors off, and that was what we do.

Speaker 6 It's very nice.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 All right. I'm going to go with

Speaker 6 a beer bong.

Speaker 6 A beer bong that you've just got hanging out all the time.

Speaker 6 Never put it away.

Speaker 6 Usually stays maybe on the TV stand just to the side of the TV.

Speaker 6 But you're ready for a beer bong at any moment because you never know.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 6 You got to be prepared. You'd rather have a beer bong and not need it than need a beer bong and not have it.

Speaker 1 Right. Agreed.
Also,

Speaker 1 some kind of like mildew, some kind of mold,

Speaker 1 and you're like, I'll be fine. Yeah, just run.
Just pour Everclear down it. Run hot water through it.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm going to stick with decor.

Speaker 2 I was, my mind went to decor when we were doing this, this Mountain Rushmore.

Speaker 1 You are interior design is your passion. Yes.

Speaker 2 So I'm just going to go with flags.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like, no matter American flag, Saturdays are for the boys flag, frat flag. Yep.
I don't even know if frat flag was a thing. I wasn't in a frat.

Speaker 2 But I feel like that was good. Because you could just fill up so much space and be like, oh, yeah, we did decoration.
There's a flag.

Speaker 1 The best was the flag on the ceiling in your bedroom to set the mood. Yep, that was good.
It set the mood.

Speaker 2 And then the girls had the little tapestry, the weird tapestry things. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The beds with the posts, you're saying? Yep. Yeah.

Speaker 6 It's ridiculous how much more nicely decorated girls' apartments are in college than that.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. It's not even college.

Speaker 6 Like they're real people.

Speaker 9 They get the lights.

Speaker 1 Yep. They get everything.
Yeah. They go to IKEA and spend cork boards with shit on it.

Speaker 6 Yeah, pictures everywhere. It always smells nice.
Yep.

Speaker 6 They have towels that aren't beach towels in their bathrooms. Yep.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 2 continuing with the core beer case wallpaper.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Love that.
That was awesome. Yep.

Speaker 2 Everyone would spend like the entire semester being like, yo, can I get your case? Can I get your case? I'm trying to make something.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to make something.

Speaker 9 The one year, once, one year I went to college, I did have the sickest wall. Yeah.
My dad gave me, it was like from an old Taco Bell drive-thru neon sign.

Speaker 9 So that was in the middle of the wall, and then it was just

Speaker 9 beer case wallpaper around it.

Speaker 1 There's another remind me that you could like see the sign.

Speaker 9 It was literally like the sign they would have like on the freeway So it was massive So you could like see it from the cafeteria like 500 yards away.

Speaker 6 That's awesome. People probably thought that there was a taco bell in that room.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah

Speaker 1 Good pick. I have some I have something else I else if I I would like to table that discussion I have something else if it doesn't get picked circle back circle back

Speaker 6 Okay, so is it me?

Speaker 1 Yeah, all right.

Speaker 6 I'm going to go with

Speaker 6 Bob Marley poster.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 6 Bob Marley poster. It doesn't matter if you like Bob Marley or not.
I knew a lot of guys that had Bob Marley posters that maybe listened to Jammin' once or twice.

Speaker 6 Weren't really fans, but it was just the vibe. If you had one, it's like, you're not a cop.

Speaker 1 You're cool. The only reason I kept that one off my list was that was a

Speaker 1 dorm more than apartment. I feel like when you graduated to apartment, it felt a little different.
I think more flags.

Speaker 6 I think you bring it with you, though.

Speaker 1 More flags.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 This one, who knows how this will play, but I mean, it's it's just everyone has to the shittiest couch possible. Like,

Speaker 1 I don't remember, my couches were so bad.

Speaker 2 I had broken furniture, which is kind of the same thing.

Speaker 6 And also, like, two extra couches.

Speaker 1 One of the biggest days of my life was when

Speaker 1 we lived next to a halfway house, and we got like the best couch ever that they had discarded of because a drunk guy had pissed all over it.

Speaker 1 And we're like, fucking, fuck, yeah, we'll just flip over the cushions.

Speaker 6 We'll just clean it. Yeah,

Speaker 1 this is incredible.

Speaker 9 Yeah, when you guys went to college for four years, I had went to college for one year and then had three to four years of visiting my friends at college. So I slept on all those couches.
Yes.

Speaker 9 And they were all

Speaker 1 horrible. Also, they were all

Speaker 1 like way too big, but like in a good way. Like, I felt like every couch we'd get was just so shitty, but it would have like three pieces to it and could sit like 10 people deep and big, but terrible.

Speaker 1 I miss those shitty couches because you just could, you could spill, literally, you could just spill directly on it and just be like who cares?

Speaker 6 You ever go to like a doctor's office and they've got dorm room furniture in their waiting room? Yeah, that's a sign you should leave that doctor's office.

Speaker 1 Yes, agreed.

Speaker 9 All right, my last two. I'm going to go with expired food.

Speaker 1 Fuck.

Speaker 2 I thought for sure I was going to get that with my last one.

Speaker 1 That's a good one. That's a good one.
All right.

Speaker 2 Good job. It's a good job, Hank.

Speaker 9 And then similar to Max's decor,

Speaker 9 sports jerseys hung on the wall. Yeah, okay.
Because like it won't even, sometimes it'll be, you know, your favorite team, but sometimes it'll just be like your high school jersey.

Speaker 6 Yeah. And you just like put a pen.

Speaker 9 Yeah, you just like,

Speaker 9 yeah, you put two thumbtacks, and then it's like, you know, I'd be at people's colleges where it's like

Speaker 6 just, you know, the random kids' like hockey high school jerseys. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But a whole wall of them. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 This last one, I'm going to go with something I, I, just, just doing this, Mount Rushmore, doing this exercise, I realized that, like, it's something that I only had in my life for this short period of time.

Speaker 1 Way too many mismatched shot glasses just everywhere. Shot glasses.
I don't have shot glasses in my life anymore.

Speaker 6 I still have a drawer. You do? And I never use the drawer.

Speaker 1 But just like, you know, there's one from spring break. There's one from this bar.
And you just, you in college, I think if you asked me, like, hey, can we do 50 shots? I'd be like, no problem.

Speaker 1 I got 50 shot glasses. Yeah, got a match.
Guys don't keep diaries.

Speaker 6 Yeah. We just accumulate shot glasses from different places that we've been.

Speaker 6 Oh, yeah. I remember when I was down in Acapulco.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you graduate from from shot glasses to golf balls. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's literally, that's the, the, that's, that's the image of a guy learning to walk. Yeah.

Speaker 9 I bought some shot glasses the other day, though, in the Boston airport, the like Celtics championship.

Speaker 1 Really?

Speaker 9 Because the championship, you really, like, you remember, it's like you only get the one year with all the championship merch. Like, you got to load up.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But it's just like, I probably have a couple of shot glasses in my house, but I'm talking like, oh,

Speaker 1 you know, you open it up and it's just mismatched mugs and a ton of of shot glasses.

Speaker 6 Yeah, some of them have the ones that like have the girl in the swimsuit and then her swimsuit fades away when you put liquor in there. That's a really nice one you can bring out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, a couple like big ones, big skinny ones that are different colors. Yeah, you're right.

Speaker 6 It's shot glasses to golf balls for guys. And then women don't really, they just write in a diary.
And then as they get older, sometimes they start to collect spoons. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Like when you go to a different city, bring them back

Speaker 6 a fancy spoon. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Did you guys used to drink Boilermakers? Yep. Oh.

Speaker 1 Shot of vodka dropped into a beer. Disgusting.

Speaker 6 Pretty good.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 6 so bad. Pretty good.
Okay. Okay, my last pick.

Speaker 6 Mount Rushmore of Things Found in College Guys' Apartments. My fourth pick will be a random dude.

Speaker 6 A random dude that's staying over. Maybe a friend of one of the roommates.
Maybe a friend that you met at a party. Seems like he's got cool vibes.
He's in town for the weekend.

Speaker 6 Doesn't have a place to crash. You're like, that's fine, dude.
You can crash on our couch, no problem. Okay.

Speaker 1 Then you wake up.

Speaker 6 Yeah, then you wake up in the morning, and if it wasn't your guy that you invited over, there's just a random guy there.

Speaker 1 Yeah, random dude.

Speaker 6 I woke up at some random places.

Speaker 9 We went to ASU way back in the day.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 9 I remember we were just, you know, we went out, we watched the game, you went home. I stayed out with these random kids, woke up in their dorm to like a pool party.

Speaker 1 I would like this is still one of the weirdest.

Speaker 9 Greatest college of all.

Speaker 6 I would like the graphic to say random dude on the couch.

Speaker 2 You said random dude.

Speaker 1 No, I'd say random on the couch.

Speaker 1 No, no, but I would like

Speaker 6 to say that then I described it as a random dude.

Speaker 1 Because that's a terrible terrible pick. I described it as a random dude.
How do you describe it? A random.

Speaker 1 It's a random dude. You picked a random dude.
You picked a random random dude on the couch.

Speaker 2 I want to know both of your four picks because I have a pick that I think will win it for me, but I want to know your four picks.

Speaker 1 What are my four picks? No, no, I don't care about yours.

Speaker 2 I want to know your four picks. Oh.
Because there's a.

Speaker 2 We could have a chance. Because Hank has done a very good job of this draft.
He has. And you may have just lost it with random dude.

Speaker 6 Random dude on the couch is what I said. I described it as a random dude on the couch.

Speaker 9 And then we said that. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 6 The way that Mount Rushmore season has always gone is you have an opportunity to clarify before the next person makes their pick what goes on the graphic.

Speaker 1 Am I wrong?

Speaker 9 Memes?

Speaker 2 Regardless, I don't think it's a good pick.

Speaker 1 It was way worse.

Speaker 1 All right, a random dude.

Speaker 1 It just says random dude. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The way you said a random dude was very definitive, but I'm fine with a random dude on the couch.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 whatever PFT wants, we call it the foreman.

Speaker 1 Kamish? Commish.

Speaker 6 I will abide by memes.

Speaker 2 What did he say at first? He said a random dude.

Speaker 1 A random dude. All right, that's it.

Speaker 6 Okay, it's going to be tough.

Speaker 1 Hank, what are you for? Did I just... Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 So when you said it, 250 can come in second? When you said it, I was like, what the fuck? And then I was like, and then when you described it, it made sense. But when you said it, I was like, what?

Speaker 6 Okay, so I will abide by memes' decision. I'm a fair sport.
What happens if we do tie, Hank?

Speaker 1 We have to figure out how to do it.

Speaker 1 There's a duel.

Speaker 1 There's a duel on Monday's show. There's a duel on Monday's show.

Speaker 9 There's no way. You got it.

Speaker 1 You can try it.

Speaker 1 What did you take in? I had

Speaker 9 full-size trash cans, a massive bong, expired food, sports jerseys hung on wall.

Speaker 6 I had

Speaker 6 an almost...

Speaker 2 You didn't say sports jerseys hung on wall.

Speaker 1 You got that. Oh.

Speaker 6 Was that going to be your big pick? No.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 6 I had an

Speaker 6 almost empty keg. I had a beer bong.
I had

Speaker 6 the Bob Marley poster. And then I had a random dude.

Speaker 9 Also, not to hate, I just said I spent three years of my life visiting all my friends at different colleges. I don't think I ever saw a keg in there.

Speaker 1 You never saw a keg?

Speaker 9 Kegs were not like a major main thing.

Speaker 1 That was a house thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 2 that's not a bad thing.

Speaker 1 I'll defend PFD on it. We had a kegerator, so it wasn't usually empty.

Speaker 1 We made an old fridge, and that also became the fridge where we just kept

Speaker 1 the expired food. So it was like

Speaker 1 the old fridge and freezer we converted to a kegerator, and then just threw all of our expired food in there like if we get in a pinch the kegerator was a good idea i had that too uh i think we inherited it when we moved winning and winning in fourth place is impossible that also is a

Speaker 1 a a a niche pick is which wouldn't look good on the graphic here i'll just we'll do your last pick and then we'll do it

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 2 i'm gonna say

Speaker 2 I'm gonna say a multiple TV living room.

Speaker 1 Like that. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But they're like,

Speaker 2 that wasn't my A pick.

Speaker 1 Oh, what?

Speaker 1 What was your A pick?

Speaker 1 No, that's his pick. That's my pick.
That's my pick.

Speaker 2 My first honorable mention would be Red Cups.

Speaker 1 Ah.

Speaker 1 I don't think that was as A as you thought.

Speaker 2 You go into any college apartment. There are Red Cups

Speaker 1 everywhere. Well, what if you're

Speaker 1 in solo cups? Yeah, what if you're in the Crips?

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 The reds were better. I feel like the blue ones were all.
The red ones were all right. You know, the reds were red.
Obviously.

Speaker 1 The one that just popped in my head, which would be hard to describe, but because I was thinking about the Keg Raider because we inherited it.

Speaker 1 It's something large that you inherited from the guys before. They didn't want to move out.

Speaker 2 That was always the bong.

Speaker 2 It was always like the biggest bong. They're like, I can't bring this home to my parents.

Speaker 1 I was thinking, like, did I make a Keg Raider? They're like, no, it was just the dudes before us couldn't move it out.

Speaker 1 We also got their TV that was like an old, one of those TVs that weighs like a thousand pounds.

Speaker 6 Yeah, the real deep ones. Yeah.

Speaker 6 We had one relatively flat screen and then one super deep that were there were different colors too one was gray and one was black and you just set them up on the table so you can watch two football games at the same time all right what else did we miss i had um

Speaker 1 uh

Speaker 1 i just had spitters spitters oh i had random workout equipment that's never used like a maybe a

Speaker 2 bumbells you didn't you have dumbbells yeah like dumbbells or like a bench but we would use a we every time like before we went out every time we would just start doing curls and be like this is what's gonna get get us chicks tonight.

Speaker 9 Yeah, I didn't really know how to word it,

Speaker 9 but

Speaker 9 either hockey sticks, baseball bats,

Speaker 9 just sporting equipment.

Speaker 1 I had the random hockey bag that smells like shit. Yep.
Because I had that in our apartment, and it was gross.

Speaker 6 Empty pizza boxes.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 6 Just on the floor, on the counter.

Speaker 1 Neon beer sign that doesn't work. Yep.
We had that.

Speaker 1 Neon signs. Yeah, neon signs.

Speaker 2 That was like a basement thing of like a house, though.

Speaker 1 yeah i had a uh a smoked smoke detector with no batteries in it because it started to give you the low battery beep so you just said okay i don't have a smoke detector anymore broken speaker uh george foreman grill yeah that was a big message foreman grill and the big one where they just remember how when they just kept on making them bigger and bigger yeah and it's like wait you're just now selling me an oven like a burner yeah so you're i should just buy a new oven with this with the stove top.

Speaker 6 I think along those same lines would be one piece of cooking equipment that's way nicer than everything else that you have. So you try to cook everything in that thing.

Speaker 6 So if that's an air fryer, like one of their parents bought them an air fryer, now we're going to cook everything in the air fryer.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this is very niche, but like similar to that,

Speaker 1 either a plastic, a big plastic spoon or spatula that's burnt a little bit because it fucked that up. It was just like melted.

Speaker 6 A dented frying pan. Yeah.
Everybody had the dented frying pan.

Speaker 6 Let's see. A stack of mail.

Speaker 1 Stack of mail. That's good.
I had

Speaker 1 posters. Oh,

Speaker 1 shitload of hot sauce. So many different kinds of hot sauce.
Just collect hot sauce.

Speaker 1 Oh, what I wanted to say, Max, what were you going to say?

Speaker 2 No, continue.

Speaker 2 Before we finish, I want to.

Speaker 2 I think there's a chance

Speaker 2 that we get a

Speaker 1 chance.

Speaker 6 I don't know. I like my picks, but

Speaker 6 a random dude is going to be tough. It's going to be good.

Speaker 1 A random dude is going to be tough.

Speaker 6 That was a mistake.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what I was going to say was the, because Max, you did the beer poster wall.

Speaker 1 That is another one where that, like, to me is more like freshman year, and then you graduate to the bottle cap coffee table. That's the classy version of it.
I had that.

Speaker 6 Yeah, you go out and you use the coffee table that came with the apartment if it's furnished, but you go out to Home Depot, you get like the plexiglass rectangle cut out.

Speaker 1 And if you have, and if you have a roommate whose dad was like a really handy guy, maybe worked worked in construction you had the bottle cap beer pong table which was that's crazy that's a yeah that wasn't made by that was that was a summer project with some guy's dad i had friends that would do it with dip cans but never actually built it yeah had the idea of like yo i'm gonna get a ton of dip cans and then i'm gonna make a coffee table out of it but then like never actually going through with any of it dude being a fucking dumbass 20 year old rocked yeah it was the best like all this stuff we're describing I'm so, I'm, like, phased out of, but I'm just like, I, that rocked.

Speaker 1 Like, we were, I was so stupid and thought I was the man and I wasn't, but that rocked.

Speaker 6 Did you guys ever have the big plastic jug that you would either keep the bottle caps in or the pop tops from the cans? Yeah. Just the tops.
And then you're like, look how many beers I've drank. Yeah.

Speaker 1 A piss jug also.

Speaker 9 Or like something. A piss jug, yeah.
Something on the wall that you're trying to snap them into. snap the bottle caps into.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 That one just misses.

Speaker 6 As a target, yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, speaking of which, I feel like a lot lot of apartments had a dartboard that just didn't work. Either was like, didn't you lost the darts?

Speaker 2 We had a nice dartboard, really.

Speaker 1 I used darts a lot. Shit like that, where it's like we would just have shit, and it would be cool in theory, and it would just be broken within a day, and then it would just sit there.

Speaker 6 Big miss on our part.

Speaker 1 A hole in the wall. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's a big miss.

Speaker 6 Big miss.

Speaker 1 Fuck.

Speaker 1 Big miss. That could have been.

Speaker 6 So many random holes in the wall. And you're like, I'm going to fix this before I move out.
And you have like three hours on move out day. That's it.
And you're like, oh, shit.

Speaker 6 Does anybody know how to do drywall? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think if you guys tie,

Speaker 1 it's a duel.

Speaker 1 I think it's a duel and I think it's, I think it's a, I think Max and I come with a Mount Rushmore than a spring on them.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 6 How long do we have to get ready? No, no.

Speaker 1 Right away. It's instant.
Like we do it.

Speaker 2 No, but that's that's an inventory.

Speaker 6 I think one minute.

Speaker 1 This is the during the show. No, no, I got it on it.
I got it. I got it.
I got it. I got it.

Speaker 1 I think it should be me, Max, and memes all come up with the Mount Rushmore, and it's a three-game series duel.

Speaker 1 So it's head-to-head, and we'll do a poll at 11, poll at me. Yeah, best of three.
You got to win two out of three. Oh,

Speaker 1 because then we have a little flexibility where someone can't be like, oh, this one was slanted towards me. It'll be three randoms.

Speaker 9 None of this is going to matter.

Speaker 6 I think there's a good chance.

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 1 Hey, what are your picks again? Hey, what your picks again?

Speaker 8 I still think you could come in second place, Pete. Yeah, you could.

Speaker 6 I think I just threw a pick. It was like the end of that Colts-Texans game that decided the rest of the history of the NFL.
I just threw a big pick at the end of it with Random Dude. Duel.

Speaker 1 Random Dude. What was your.

Speaker 2 Again? Yeah, I want to know one more time.

Speaker 9 You tell me. You tell me what you thought.

Speaker 1 Sports jerseys.

Speaker 2 Sports jerseys, expired food.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's rocks.

Speaker 2 Expired food rocks.

Speaker 9 A massive bong.

Speaker 1 A massive rocks. A massive bong rocks.

Speaker 9 And full-size trash cans.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 2 Full-size trash cans I don't love. But the other three

Speaker 2 I'm very high on.

Speaker 9 But for the fourth pick, none of this matters, but I appreciate it.

Speaker 1 My pick is so bad. You're right.
You guys patronize him.

Speaker 6 You're right. I think Hank's going to win.
I think I might come in last place.

Speaker 1 This would be awesome.

Speaker 2 This would be like one of my favorite things that's happened on this show.

Speaker 6 Big-time fumble at the goal line.

Speaker 1 You're good.

Speaker 6 Desmond.

Speaker 6 Duel.

Speaker 1 Duel. Duel.
Duel. Duel.
Duel. Duel.
You guys having to do Mount Rushmore's off the dome.

Speaker 2 Oh, it'd be so good.

Speaker 1 We should just do a real duel with paintball guns. We could do that too.
Gotcha.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Gotcha. I watch that clip every like couple months and I just laugh so hard.
It's really good. Shout out Jake.
He did a great job on the Creators Cup. He did, yeah.

Speaker 6 Jake, I saw Jerry's tweet. He was dominating the desk.
Yeah, he was.

Speaker 6 He was man spreading with his shoulders. He was out.
Great job, Jake.

Speaker 1 All right, let's get to our interview. We got a college football preview with Brandon Walker and Tom Fernelli, and then we have Joey Chestnut.
Fuck, random dude.

Speaker 1 It's a tough one.

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Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on our college football expert, Tom Ferneli,

Speaker 1 and Brandon Walker as well. Go on, sit down.
What are you doing? Sit down.

Speaker 1 You're not going to shake his hand? This is a.

Speaker 1 This is a real dickback.

Speaker 1 Sit down and talk to the mic.

Speaker 1 We're recording. Brandon, get away.
Who is a podcast? Who is a podcast? We're recording. We have our college football expert Tom Ferneli and Brandon Walker here.

Speaker 6 Talk to the mic, Brandon.

Speaker 1 We want to do a big-time college football preview. Brandon, welcome to pardon my take.
You've never recorded in this studio before

Speaker 1 five years. I've been waiting to do this.
Well, you think we were at Tom's been on the show 10 times. I know.
I figured you could use my experience.

Speaker 1 I can help you out, show you the ropes about how you talk college football on this show. I do.
Well, talking college football. First of all, it's good to meet you.
Good to meet you.

Speaker 1 You and I have gone back and forth many times on Twitter.

Speaker 6 What do you guys go back and forth about?

Speaker 1 Oh, nothing.

Speaker 1 We just

Speaker 1 get in the mix a little bit together, right? We just talk ball.

Speaker 6 Is there anything a Tom reply guy?

Speaker 1 No, no. Tom's more of a Brandon reply guy than I am a Tom Reply guy.
Yeah, but we had the bowl game against each other, and that kind of really fueled the rush. Oh, yeah, the Illinois.

Speaker 1 The United States, Illinois. So, Brandon, did you think there was going to be a twist?

Speaker 1 That shows how stupid I am. Not once did I consider.
You kind of looked at it. Maybe I'm an egomaniac because I was like, yeah, it's about goddamn time.
It's about time.

Speaker 1 And not once did I think they're luring me into something. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Tom is our number one college football person.

Speaker 1 That's the end. He is.
You've never really given anybody else a chance. I know Andy Staples got chances.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, yeah, if you need to know what chalupa to get in Oklahoma City, that's your guy.

Speaker 1 But if we're talking ball, I don't think they're saying chalupa. Tom talks ball.
Still water then, whatever. I just want to make sure you know this was my idea.
They had nothing to do with it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true. They asked me to come on again like they always do.
I know both these sons of bitches. This was not your idea.
Nope. My idea.
I show you the text. Yeah.

Speaker 6 This is Tom. Listen.

Speaker 1 This was all you. You got outflanked.
I said, I want Brandon on with me. Well, well done, Tom.

Speaker 1 Well, listen, I mean, this is, we got the two best college football minds sitting on the couch. Exactly.

Speaker 1 This is going to be great. I want to get into it.

Speaker 1 Let's start with takes. I can't fucking believe.

Speaker 1 I walked in here. And

Speaker 1 not what's in my mind that I go, I wonder who's sitting on that couch. No.

Speaker 1 Dumb fuck. All right, go, go, sorry.
Started in my takes number one college football. Sorry.
Sorry. Sorry.
Sorry. I guess

Speaker 1 let's start with the playoff, and we'll work our way backwards. Do you guys want to do a playoff draft in front of us? Are you a playoff guy? I am.

Speaker 1 I think this day is a long time coming for college football.

Speaker 1 Anybody that says college football is worse off for the playoff is lying or just grifting or something because more seats at the table is good for everybody, and it doesn't diminish the regular season.

Speaker 1 Excuse me, it doesn't diminish the regular season.

Speaker 6 Tom's never done this. This is a mistake.

Speaker 1 It doesn't diminish it at all. It makes us have way more games that matter in November.
I would love the playoffs.

Speaker 1 But can't you argue that Florida State losing to Georgia Tech on Saturday is already kind of diminished? Because a couple years ago, that loss completely fucks their season. It makes it even more fun.

Speaker 1 Whereas now

Speaker 1 the immediate reaction is Herbie getting on Twitter saying that. It's not because

Speaker 6 every game means more in the other.

Speaker 1 Their season is absolutely fucked now. That team that

Speaker 1 technically Nick's still winning.

Speaker 1 We're not talking technicalities. That team that played on Saturday is not a playoff team in a four-team format, a 12-team format, a 30-team format.
That's not a playoff team.

Speaker 1 That's an average football team we saw. I don't know if I'd call it average.
I don't think it looked good, that's for sure. Like, I don't think Florida State.
If that wasn't average, what is?

Speaker 1 We agree that Florida State should not have been the 10th best team in the country as far as anybody who looked at that team and voted them to be in the playoff or be number 10 should be the same.

Speaker 1 But the preseason votes are always bullshit. But when I look at the rest of the ACC, I don't think Florida State's a team that can't win the ACC already.

Speaker 1 If they get bullied, and I mean, absolutely bullied at the point of attack by

Speaker 1 how many teams have Georgia Tech's offensive line? Clemson's going to be able to bully him.

Speaker 1 You're arguing Clemson has a great offensive line. No, I'm saying Clemson as a whole team is a bully team.

Speaker 1 I think Clemson's defensive line will be able to bully Florida State's offensive line, which also didn't get any push after that first drop.

Speaker 6 Dabbo's not a bully. He's not even taking calls on his radio show.
He got bullied by Tyler from Spartanball. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 He responded well to that.

Speaker 6 Why, by shutting him off?

Speaker 6 By censoring free speech?

Speaker 1 He stood up. Dabbo's got that drip.

Speaker 1 Which team am I describing right now? Bad quarterback who's been around for a while. We know who exactly who he is.

Speaker 1 Questionable offensive line, questionable receivers, questionable defensively in the second half. I think you were attempting to describe Clemson, right? And who?

Speaker 6 Florida State. Florida State.

Speaker 1 Florida State, yeah.

Speaker 6 And you really don't know college football.

Speaker 1 No, I just, I just told him exactly who he was thinking about. Well, Clemson, here's my thing about Clemson.
I know Cade wasn't great last year. I really know he wasn't great.

Speaker 1 DJ, we've seen him not be great at multiple spots. A game against Notre Dame.
And

Speaker 1 people still thought DJ could do it. Cade, I think, second year in a system with Garrett Riley, guys can get better from year to year, especially if they stay in the same system.

Speaker 1 If you transfer every year, you're not getting better. But I think Cade is in a spot where he could improve.
Do you guys? Drew Aller is the same way, by the way, in the Big Ten.

Speaker 1 Yeah, which I disagree on that. Do you think Dabo will ever go to the transfer portal? Yes.

Speaker 6 You think he'll have to eventually? He's going to have to.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's crazy that he's not.

Speaker 1 Do they have a single transfer? No, it's them in the three services. They lost a couple.
Yeah, they lost a couple, but they didn't gain a couple. Can't tell me Caleb Downs can't help them.

Speaker 1 But don't you think he's got an opportunity?

Speaker 1 Yeah, probably could. Don't think he has the opportunity to be the counterculture to

Speaker 1 the transfer portal. Because if he's getting guys out of high school and actually developing them in the face of everybody else following the Eastern Project, he's got to win first, though.

Speaker 6 But hold on.

Speaker 1 Opportunity exists. Do I think he could pull it off? No.
But hold on. There's two ways to use the transfer portal.

Speaker 1 You could do the lane kiffin where you just get a new team every year, the Deion Sanders, or like in Ohio State, who's like, hey, we got a couple holes.

Speaker 1 Let's just, let's fill the three or four holes that we have. How could you not want to do that? So that can work.
It absolutely can work. It also not work.
Like Florida State did that this year.

Speaker 1 But depth is never a problem, especially with how many games they got to play now. I just think within the era of college football, everybody's going to the portal.
Everybody's going to the cupboard.

Speaker 1 And Dabbo is, and he's, and I think Dabbo has been a full of shit guy his whole career. He is not full of shit about this.
He's living exactly what he's saying. And I think it could work.

Speaker 1 Like, he's got a sophomore class that last year took some lumps on that defensive line, especially. I I think they're going to be loaded this year.
So

Speaker 1 we'll just start with the ACC because we're already talking about it. If it's not Florida State or Clemson, is it Miami? Yeah.

Speaker 1 It fucking better be. Miami's roster is loaded.

Speaker 1 Is the seat warm for Crystal Ball? I feel like he's still got. Anything less than 9-3, I think the seat's warm.
Yeah, I would agree with that. I mean, I'm with him.

Speaker 1 I know he has Clemson winning the ACC. I was just trying to make a point.
I have Clemson winning the ACC, too.

Speaker 1 Wow. I do think receiver-wise, they're going to be better than they were last year.
So this guy's just baiting me. No, No, that was podcast.

Speaker 6 It was a thought exercise.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can't just all agree on everything.

Speaker 6 Obviously, like, if Dabo is, if he's able to do this without using the transfer portal, that would be incredible in this day and age.

Speaker 6 He's had resounding success before, but this is a new style of college football. This is a new way to build a team.

Speaker 6 And it seems to me like if he's not willing to go to the portal, then he's just going to lose players over the years.

Speaker 1 I think Dabo can win the ACC without using the portal because I don't think the ACC is that good. I think it is a three-team league and then there are, you know, good teams.

Speaker 1 There's the NC States, there's your Virginia Techs, but those aren't like teams that I'm looking at as title contenders.

Speaker 1 I think he can win the ACC, but without using the portal, when he gets to the playoff, I think they're probably going to get their ass kicked. Yeah,

Speaker 1 they don't have the depth to compete with those other teams. So I think that when you look at what Clemson has been the last few years, there have been obvious holes on that roster.

Speaker 1 You knew going in, they could use help. Like everybody needs help on the offensive line.
They don't exist in the portal for the most part. But you knew they needed help at wide receiver.

Speaker 1 They never went after them. It could have made a huge difference.
Keon Coleman.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you could have gone after Keon Coleman. I don't know if you already could dunk in shorts or in jeans.
But, like,

Speaker 1 I think that that is the one aspect that really is going to cut him short. And I think that if they keep failing, he will change his approach.

Speaker 1 He will realize I need to do something if I want to get to the title game. Yeah, we'll see Pank.
Oh, you're just putting Tom's mic closer. Oh, my God.
I like that. No, you're good.

Speaker 6 Good producing, Hank.

Speaker 1 I'll just swallow it like Brandon is like this. No,

Speaker 1 that's how you do it. He didn't have his second lunch.
I'm just saying, like,

Speaker 1 the mics in my studio don't have to be this close. Megan brought me banana pudding.
Okay, so you did have your second lunch.

Speaker 6 What about Dark Horse?

Speaker 1 In the ACC or completely? What about?

Speaker 6 Well, I was going to throw you out one and then get your reaction. Go ahead.
Virginia Tech hokies.

Speaker 1 I don't know if they're Dark Horse. I think they're getting a lot of love.
They bring 18 of 22 starters back. They got Kyron Jones, a good quarterback.

Speaker 1 I actually don't like them as much as most people. That's why I like Vanderbilt plus 13 and a half this weekend.
They bring back 18 starters off a team that went 6-6.

Speaker 1 They didn't go 9-3.

Speaker 1 I think they're pretty good. I like NC State a little bit more than Virginia Tech.

Speaker 1 You did just mention Kate Klubnick in the second year under an offensive coordinator can improve, did you not? I did. I think Kyron Jones in his second year as a starter can improve.

Speaker 1 And I think Kyron Jones, between his size, his arm, and his mobility, I watched a lot of their tape last year, and he took over for Grant Wells, who got hurt. He becomes a starter.

Speaker 1 He transfers for Baylor. He was kind of eh at the start of the season, as you'd expect a kid without much experience.

Speaker 1 But as the year went on and they got more familiar with what his strengths were and what he could do, that offense started getting pretty damn good towards the end of the season.

Speaker 1 They've got a couple good running backs, they've got good receivers. The offensive line I thought was okay.

Speaker 1 That is one of the bigger hindrances, I think, for that team, whether that can take a step forward. Defensively, they got a couple guys.

Speaker 1 I don't think they're spectacular, but I do think in the ACC, whereas we're talking about Clemson, Florida State, Miami, after that, there's a whole hell of a lot of wiggle room.

Speaker 1 I do think Tech could take advantage of that because when you look at what they have with the experience with the quarterback and with a schedule that I think is kind of friendly, all things considered, they could be in the hunt for like an ACC championship game appearance.

Speaker 1 And there's always

Speaker 1 Beamer Ball, just kind of like, you know, if they block a punt, it's Beamerball.

Speaker 1 So anything that happened basically between like 95 and 02, if it happens again, that's just, it just goes back to them. Beamer ball.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if they do anything that's like out, you know, outside of regular offense and defense, it's beamer ball. If they block a punt, it's game over.
Yeah, it's pretty much beamer.

Speaker 1 It just goes back to anything you saw like five or ten years ago. Like DJ's good game against Notre Dame.
He's always that guy. He was crouched.

Speaker 6 Virginia Tech will always have a speedy guy they recruit from the track team to just stand on the edge for field goals and just run as fast as you can at the holder.

Speaker 1 Bieber ball. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I had a thought, and I want you guys to, we'll jump to the Big 12, which is, I think, going to be the funnest conference to watch because it just feels like there's, I don't know, six, eight teams that could win it.

Speaker 1 The Big Ten.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, the Big 12.

Speaker 1 Utah.

Speaker 1 55 to 1. Is that crazy? To win the national title? I know they're probably not going to win the national title.
No, no, no, no, that's crazy. Okay, but hear me out.
Hear me out.

Speaker 1 I know they're not going to win the national title. If they win the Big 12, they could potentially get the three or four seed

Speaker 1 and they could be by already. You know, you got your first game.
Say they get the four seed and they play the five seed, maybe it's Notre Dame. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's a coin flip game. And yeah, you're basically betting on Cam Rising being not injured for the entire year, which is not a great bet.
But I don't know. It's more of a.

Speaker 1 I don't think they're winning the national title. I think I'd get in a spot where I could maybe hedge.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 if you want to get in a hedge spot, I mean, they are. They'd be a hedgeback.

Speaker 1 They have the lowest odds to make the playoff of any Big 12 team. So, I mean, they could get to the playoff and they could put you in a hedge spot.
I personally don't like them that much.

Speaker 1 I don't like them as much as most people like them this year. Who do you like in the Big 12? Kansas State.

Speaker 1 That's what everyone loves.

Speaker 1 Who do you like? Kansas State. Okay, let me throw this idea at you.
I've thrown it out there on Twitter and everything.

Speaker 1 But Utah's main advantage in the Pac-12 was when they would play USC and UCLA and Arizona State and all those. They had a distinct physicality advantage and they could bully those teams.

Speaker 1 Now, most of the Big 12, you probably can do that too, but you ain't doing that to Kansas State. They don't play them in the regular season.

Speaker 1 And you're not doing that to Oklahoma State, who they have to go to Stillwater. I know that's their toughest game.
They're not bullying those teams and that was their big advantage.

Speaker 1 It wasn't a talent advantage. It was a toughness advantage.
And that's gone now. That's why I like Kansas State to win it more than I like Utah.

Speaker 1 And the other side of that, like, offensively, they were still very physical. Last couple years defensively, you could put Utah around them.
All right, so I won't do it.

Speaker 1 It's also the Cam Rising thing that makes me new. I love love Cam Rising, but he's been hurt a lot.
He's been hurt. A lot.
All right, so other teams, because there are a ton of teams in the Big 12.

Speaker 1 I had eight that could win it as well. So list them.
So Kansas, State, Oklahoma, State, Utah are the three at the top.

Speaker 1 I think Iowa State's right behind those. UCF?

Speaker 1 I don't have UCF in the group. I got Kansas in the group, but that's entirely based on defense coming a long way and Jalen Daniels staying healthy.
I think West Virginia sneaks in that group.

Speaker 1 I disagree. You don't think West Virginia sneaks in that group? No.
I think defensive losses are too much.

Speaker 1 I just think that last year they took advantage of some quarterback injuries and some close games, and I think that this year there could be a come-up and for it.

Speaker 6 I dismissed Kansas real quick there. No, I just brushed him off.
I didn't brush him off.

Speaker 1 I put him in the group, but again, Jalen Daniels has never played a full season healthy, and if he doesn't, they don't have a chance. Yeah, they don't have a Jason Beaton this year behind him.

Speaker 1 And also, I think another thing that's under discuss, too, is Andy Kodel Nicki, their offensive coordinator, has left to take over at Penn State.

Speaker 1 How does that offense look without him with a new play collar there if Jalen Daniels goes down?

Speaker 1 Because that was one of the things that really impressed me about Codle Mickey was the last couple years with Daniels not being available, the way he was able to keep things going at the pace that they were with Bean, and it was just really impressive.

Speaker 1 So I don't know. I think the thing about the Big 12 is my hot take about the Big 12 is that nobody is coming out of that league with fewer than three losses.
Yeah. I think it's going to be

Speaker 1 four, nine, and three. A one-bid league.
A one-bid league. Yeah, for sure.
Interesting. I think in my playoff, I had two teams.
I had Oklahoma State and Kansas State making it.

Speaker 1 It's hard to get two in the first one. I don't even have Utah making it.
I don't have Utah making it.

Speaker 6 Their schedule is not tough.

Speaker 1 Schedule is not that tough. I just think their advantages they had over Pac-12 are gone, and I think I like Kansas State better.
I like Oklahoma State better.

Speaker 1 They do have like a Gen X quarterback and Alan Bowman, which kind of worries me. He's been around.

Speaker 1 Seven years. He's Brandon Whedon.
Yeah. So I think my concern about Oklahoma State is it's like it's a Mike Gundy team.
So you expect a certain level of competence.

Speaker 1 I just worry that they're too dependent on Ollie Gordon.

Speaker 1 And Ollie Gordon got so many touches last year, and you come back, and if you're trying to rely on him to that same level, we've seen running backs break down.

Speaker 1 What happens if Ollie Gordon suffers an injury? That's a team whose season can go down. And his punishment for the DUI is 100 carries, right? Yeah.
Mike Gundy said that. Beneficial to the team.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 He's going to give him more work.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That'll teach him.
No, I want to step in Mike Gundy here. I was drunk driving here today.

Speaker 1 I saw your park drive.

Speaker 1 Does Gundy have the disease or the syndrome that when he's hyped up and good, they never live up to it. And when he's not hyped up and good, that's when they can sneak out 10 wins?

Speaker 1 I think there's definitely a correlation there. They never deliver when they're the favorite.

Speaker 6 That's Mike Tomlin. Yeah.

Speaker 1 College Mike Tomlin. Yeah.

Speaker 1 There are so many similarities between those two. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, so let's talk Big Ten.

Speaker 1 Obviously, Ohio State is the favorite. They have what that's the best Ohio State team on paper in a long time.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think Oregon's going to be very, very good. Yeah.
Well, I mean, you're talking about number two and number three. I understand, but

Speaker 1 who else? I know Brandon's high on Penn State. He's a Drew

Speaker 1 Aller apologist.

Speaker 1 Guy had 29 touchdowns and two interceptions. He just couldn't beat Michigan and Ohio State last year.
I don't think that's that big of a sin.

Speaker 1 With no receivers on his team, by the way.

Speaker 1 I am not a Drew Aller hater by any stretch of the means, but I think part of the reason he didn't throw any interceptions is because he never took any chances.

Speaker 1 And that's kind of like the Shader situation with Colorado, where it's like everybody talks about how he didn't turn the ball over.

Speaker 1 It's like he would wait till the guy was wide open before throwing it.

Speaker 1 I think he needs to get a bit more aggressive, but I do think, to your point, part of that was Penn State's receivers last year were so bad that they really weren't getting any separation.

Speaker 1 And I don't know if they have fixed that as far as personnel-wise, but going back to Andy Kotlinicki, like when he was at Kansas, it's not like he was working with four and five-star players everywhere up and down that roster.

Speaker 1 He was able to scheme guys open and get the plays there.

Speaker 1 So if he's able to bring what he had at Kansas to Penn State, I do think Penn State is a team that could take kind of that last step that they've been missing.

Speaker 1 And now that we, they don't have to take that step. The step came to them.
Yeah, yeah. They couldn't get in a 14 playoff, but over

Speaker 1 they would have made six out of the last nine years. They would have been a winner.
But can they win with, like, that's the thing, though, because they've been losing to Michigan.

Speaker 1 They've been losing to Ohio State. So the argument would be: had the playoff existed for the last 10 years, Penn State would have been there six times.

Speaker 1 How many games would they have won while they were there? I think that Kodal Nicki could get them to a spot where they could beat Michigan, beat Ohio State, and win a playoff. Fair enough.

Speaker 6 They finished what? If you look at their aggregate ranking and then divide it by the number of years, I think they average out about.

Speaker 6 Yeah, they average out about, they would be the eight and a half seed.

Speaker 6 If they make the playoffs as a 10 seed, that actually feels like a win for James Franklin, right? It feels better. Getting in is a winner.

Speaker 6 If you're in the playoff as opposed to what it's been in the past, which is being number eight in the country, coming on strong at the end of the year, you lose a couple very blatant,

Speaker 6 like nationally televised games. that that rub salt in the wound.
At the end of the season, you're like, damn, we were almost really good.

Speaker 6 Now you can be almost really good, and it's actually better than it was before.

Speaker 1 Yeah, finishing eighth in a four-team table doesn't work. Finishing 10th at a 12-team table, you've got to see.

Speaker 6 That's a win.

Speaker 1 But what we'll see is we'll see a change in expectation.

Speaker 1 Like the talk now with James Franklin, whether you're talking to Penn State fans who don't like him or just national media consensus, can't win the big game.

Speaker 1 We're going to see coaches who are now getting to the playoff and we're saying, well, it would have helped James Franklin's reputation huge if they'd have gotten to the playoff all these years.

Speaker 1 But once you get there and you don't win anything, it's going to quickly turn into, well, we've got to get ourselves a coach who can win a playoff game. So it's a double-edged sword.

Speaker 1 I also think the firing line is is changing too because now that 12-team playoff if you finish 14th

Speaker 1 that hot seat's a lot quicker it is crazy too the expectations when you consider the fact that uh coaching in this college football season there's only three coaches that have won a national title yeah which is nuts yeah well they even hogged them all yeah but it's but it's kirby it's dabo and it's mac brown that's it yeah so like that i wonder that's the expectation i wonder how many casual fans would be able to name the third yeah like i think everybody would get kirby Kirby and they would get

Speaker 1 Dabbo, but I think a lot of fans would be like, shit, I don't know who the third person is. Right, and so that's the expectation.

Speaker 6 That's one of the best gigs in college football, I think.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 The expectations are very low compared to what they were at Texas.

Speaker 1 But you're expecting out of everyone something that three guys have, which is nuts.

Speaker 1 Hard to do. Yeah, hard to do.
I got a question about Ohio State. So I've come around a little bit.
I'm not the biggest Will Howard guy. I do think he's like a tough gamer.

Speaker 1 He's a Kansas State quarterback.

Speaker 1 He's not going to light it up throwing it, but he'll make the big plays, get the big first downs. Is there any concern that Ohio State is built to pound teams running the football?

Speaker 1 They're almost built like Michigan last year. They're built exactly like Michigan.
Just like Michigan last year. But Chip Kelly's the OC.

Speaker 1 So is there any concern that that doesn't fully match up? No, I think it matches up perfectly.

Speaker 1 They have the best running back room in the country.

Speaker 1 Chip Kelly coached at Oregon eight years. They led the Pac-12 in rushing eight times.
He coached at UCLA seven years. They finished first or second seven times.
They're going to run, run, run.

Speaker 1 And what did Michigan ask J.J. McCarthy to do last year? I'm not saying how good he is.

Speaker 1 What did they ask him to do? Not much. Throw for 150 yards and a key throw here and there, hand the ball off.
And that's what Ohio State's going to ask Will Howard to do, I think.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because that's my only concern with him is if he gets in a game where he has to throw it deep a bunch, that's not Will Howard.

Speaker 1 My concern, I think there are Will Howard questions because we haven't seen him in an offense like Ohio State's, but I do think that Ohio State's offense will look a lot different, like we're saying.

Speaker 1 It's going to look more along the lines of Will Howard, which is why they wouldn't got him, because Kyle McCord, I think if you look at McCord versus Will Howard talent-wise, there's really not a huge disparity.

Speaker 1 It's just Will Howard can run. Right.
And for a Jip Kelly offense, I think that's important.

Speaker 1 My biggest concern with Ohio State will be the offensive line.

Speaker 1 I don't know if they have the line to run the ball as effectively as they want. And if Will Howard is not giving you that kind of vertical passing threat, then defenses don't have to respect it.

Speaker 1 Then it could become more difficult for them to run. It's just, I think, talent-wise, you look at the rest of the Big Ten, I don't know how often it's going to happen.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 every time we talk about Ohio State, there has to be a disclaimer that the nitpicking we're doing is just based on winning a national title. It's the most talented team in the country.

Speaker 1 Here's what could go wrong.

Speaker 1 Can they win a national title? That's the only question. The offensive line certainly is, if you had to listen to concern, it might be on there, but that defense is going to be lights out.

Speaker 1 That's going to be the best. That's the fact they added Caleb Downs.
Yeah, it's going to be insane. It will be just as good as Michigan's defense was last year.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 Do you want 15 seconds to talk about Illinois, Tom?

Speaker 1 Illinois is going to go bowling. They are going to get to at least six wins, probably seven.
I think they might have one of the best offensive lines in the Big Ten. I think they got J.C.

Speaker 1 Davis, who is a left tackle from New Mexico. You can't find offensive linemen in the portal.
Illinois found one. He'll be an NFL draft pick.

Speaker 1 I think offensively, they will look a lot like the Brett teams you used to from Wisconsin. They're roughly 100%.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. We got a lot of the game.

Speaker 1 I'm going to seed my winning. We'll give three seconds to Mississippi State so that way we can name all the national titles they've won.

Speaker 1 Well, how many has Illinois won? Five. No.
How many real ones? Five. Okay.

Speaker 1 Don't pee on my legs. How many conference titles has Mississippi State won? Oh, we had one, buddy.
Yeah, we won. We had one.
Oh, you ever heard of World War II? We won one in the height of it. So

Speaker 1 whenever it was off

Speaker 1 all the manliest men were playing college.

Speaker 1 Yeah. 1941.
Look it up. Now, long story short, Illinois offense good.
Illinois defense,

Speaker 1 offense good. Neutral site game.
Lost Jim Leonard. Your quarterback couldn't go to the playoffs at Starville High School.
Our quarterback, we had a backup last year throwing for 500 yards a game, man.

Speaker 1 Wow. What are you talking about?

Speaker 6 Neutral site game. Illinois, Mississippi State, what's the spread? Oh, Illinois by three.

Speaker 1 Missouri State by.

Speaker 1 Mississippi State is going to be really bad this year.

Speaker 1 We've only played once, right? That's it. I think that was the only time.
Yeah, only time. And Mississippi State won that one.
So that's we own you forever for the rest of time.

Speaker 1 Until we meet the players. What a sad couple of teams to articulate.
I know.

Speaker 1 Being branded just sitting there like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Fuck you. Seven wins, maybe.
Two midgets in a dunk contest.

Speaker 1 We've been to four bull games the last 10 years. How about you? How many games is Mississippi State going to win? Five, six.
Wait, so back to the Big Ten real quick. If it's not Oregon and Ohio State,

Speaker 1 it would have to be Penn State, I think. Could it still be Michigan? Yes.
No. Why not? 100%.
No. Why? How? I'll let you go first.
You are a Michigan hater, huh?

Speaker 1 You just talked about how Michigan last year didn't ask its quarterback to do anything, and they still won a national title.

Speaker 1 And now the one thing I hear hammered over the head about why Michigan is going going to be bad is, well, who's the quarterback?

Speaker 1 If Alex Orgy, who is a giant man who's very fast, is able to throw the football at any rate.

Speaker 1 If he can just be Will Howard, I don't see any reason why Michigan can't be as good as Ohio State because defensively, Michigan's still just as good as Ohio State is.

Speaker 1 They have three first-round picks on that defense. They might have two top five picks.
And the offensive line, I think, is a huge question. No, no, it's bigger than a huge question.

Speaker 1 But the offensive line last year suffered a whole bunch of injuries, and that really did not stop them from mauling people and winning a national title.

Speaker 1 Sharon Moore, he has somewhat of a history of being an offensive line coach. I'm not worried about them developing a line.

Speaker 1 It could be a slow start, but Michigan, to me, is one of those teams that in September, they might look kind of... Yeah.

Speaker 1 But by the time you get to November, when that stuff starts gelling, they might be a really good team who's going to be like, you know, the momentum dark horse in the playoffs.

Speaker 1 Maybe, but Texas early, Oregon in the middle, Ohio State late. That's three losses.
Are you that confident in Texas on the road, Nann Arbor? Not as much, but I do favor Texas to beat Michigan there.

Speaker 1 Listen, I think you really are sanding over the offensive line. Like, this was the best offensive line in the country last year, and it is.

Speaker 1 Address the allegations of

Speaker 1 way up there. Address the allegations of sanding over.
You sand over that.

Speaker 1 You sandpapered over that. I have not sanded over that.
You sandpapered over that.

Speaker 1 First of all, Michigan's offensive line is made of sandpaper, so how the fuck can you sand over it? You can sandpaper over sandpaper. Yeah, you can't.
It's like iron chips.

Speaker 1 Jefferson's iron, they both get crittier. I think you start a fire if you do that.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 6 You actually gassed them up.

Speaker 1 So, Michigan's offensive line's on fire. They're going to die in a fire.
Yes. And I don't think they're going to be as good.
But Alex George is so good he doesn't need to. You got half as good.

Speaker 1 You're half as good at running back as you were last year. And listen, I know

Speaker 1 you're half as good at running back.

Speaker 1 Blake Corin was getting three yards a carry. I shit on J.J.
McCarthy a lot, but you had a guy. They had a lot going on off the field.
A lot going on, a lot of distractions.

Speaker 1 They're going to have the same damn distractions this year.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they will. No, they definitely won't.
You cannot say those are going to be the same. They just received the notice of allegations, but they've got got one more Texas.

Speaker 1 Nothing's going to come from them. Having Connor Stallions happen in the middle of the season will not even, it won't pale in a comparison.
You don't have a veteran quarterback to get you through it.

Speaker 1 You don't have the great offensive line to get you through it. You don't have the veteran coach to get you through it, even though he was not on the sidelines.
He was getting them through it.

Speaker 1 Now you've got a rookie head coach doing it. I just think

Speaker 1 Ohio State and Not Area. He did.

Speaker 1 There's so much. There's so much.
There's more wins over Ohio State and Penn State than 80% of the coaches in the Big Ten.

Speaker 1 I'm not saying they're falling off to 6-6 level, but I think they're going 9-3.

Speaker 1 Well, Well, if Michigan goes 9-3 against that schedule, they'll get in the playoffs. I don't know.
We don't know what's going to be around them. They'll get in.
We don't know what's around them.

Speaker 1 We don't know what's around them. Well, they'll get in.

Speaker 1 They go 9-2 into Columbus. They get beat by 40 points.
You think they're getting in? No, but they're not going to get beat by 40 points.

Speaker 6 Address the allegation that they got half as good at running back. Well, I'm just

Speaker 1 the best running back room in the country last year. They bring one back, one's in the NFL.
Yeah, but the one that brings him back is not as injured as he was.

Speaker 1 He's damn good actually.

Speaker 1 He's damn good. He's really good.
He's damn good. But do you think they can win the Big Ten? Do you honestly think they can?

Speaker 6 I think Brandon is a known Michigan hater. In fact, when Brandon talks about Michigan, there should be a blinking sign on the screen saying Michigan haters' thoughts.

Speaker 1 And then they should all be playing. This team is not as talented on paper as Ohio State and Oregon.
I don't know if I've got to get him, though. No, Dave's very mean to him.
Yeah, I get it.

Speaker 1 This team is not as talented as Ohio State and Oregon on paper. No, on paper.
They don't play the games on paper. Ohio State was more talented than them last year.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they don't play the games on paper.

Speaker 1 I mean, Michigan was pretty damn talented.

Speaker 1 They don't play play the games on paper.

Speaker 6 All right, now say sandpaper. You just talked about sandpaper.

Speaker 1 Let's sandpaper over that. Yeah.
All right, I got to take.

Speaker 1 We didn't talk about Oregon. Oregon.
We were good.

Speaker 1 We're really good. Dylan Gabriel's the man.

Speaker 1 Oh, you don't. Oh, wait, wait.
Timeout.

Speaker 1 Brayden and I were in the car together when he was convinced that Dylan Gabriel was going to Mississippi State. You guys drive to work together? All the time.

Speaker 1 I don't know where we were going, but he was like, it's going to be announced any second. And as he was saying that,

Speaker 1 Dylan Gabriel to Oregon. So he's got a little bit of Dylan Gabriel bias.

Speaker 1 I think he's a good quarterback. I think him as the Heisman favorites a little bit too much.
That's fine.

Speaker 1 I will say we interviewed while we were in Indianapolis, the Cover 3 podcast, and we interviewed Gabriel. We're a large podcast.
He was the smallest one of the five of us on the show at that time.

Speaker 1 He's a tiny man. Yeah, he's not a big guy.
It's kind of startling when you see him in person how small he is. So if he goes down, they have Dante Moore, who transferred in from UCLA.

Speaker 1 He's a highly touted kid out of high school. Oh, all he did was throw picks last year.
Yeah, and he wanted to go go to Oregon so he could sit because that was like his goal.

Speaker 1 He wants to develop and become a better QB. If they're forced to go to him, if Gabriel goes down, that could be tough for them.

Speaker 1 And I also, they've suffered a couple like low-key injuries on the offensive line and camp that are somewhat concerning. But again, it's kind of like with Ohio State earlier.
It's you're nitpicking.

Speaker 1 This is a very talented team that will probably win a lot of games.

Speaker 6 Okay, what about Washington? Belichick's coach at Washington.

Speaker 1 Yeah, not very good. They lost everything.
You know, I bought Hanked a Washington t-shirt, and he didn't even fucking thank me for it.

Speaker 6 No. That's classic hang.
I know.

Speaker 1 They lost everything, and Jed Fish didn't get anything. They brought him with him.
Listen, nobody is a more experienced watcher of Will Rogers football than I am. I know.

Speaker 1 I was going to say, you've lived through this. I have lived through this, and it's just not, it ain't happened.

Speaker 1 He can't throw the ball more than 10 yards down the field. I don't expect he'll start much.

Speaker 1 If he even starts a year, maybe he'll start three or four games, but Washington just too much talent has gone and too much, the conference is too hard.

Speaker 1 They're going into like six and six, seven and five. That's what I'm thinking.
Yeah. Yeah, I don't think Washington's going to be very good this year.

Speaker 1 I think Hank's getting in on the ground floor, so that way you can't call him a bandwagon fan.

Speaker 1 I'm high on USC. I know that's stupid.
No, it's not. No, it's not.
Miller Moss is fantastic, and that receiver room is as good as anybody in the country. It's the defense.

Speaker 1 But it's going to be a lot better because Alex Grinch doesn't exist there anymore. Safeties coach at Wisconsin now.
I mean, that's the thing that they. They can't fuck that up too bad.

Speaker 1 Their defense doesn't have to be good. Like, Lincoln Riley's.
He has to not miss tackles. Yeah, Lincoln Riley's Oklahoma defenses weren't what you would consider good, but they were just good enough.

Speaker 1 Like, I think that if the defense improves and can tackle and just be kind of below average,

Speaker 1 well, hold on, hold on. They brought in Lynn for the bowl game, and they were better in the bowl game immediately.
Lincoln Riley's Oklahoma defenses were also playing in the Big 12.

Speaker 1 U.S.C. is going to be playing in the Big Ten.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's right. The home of all those great offenses.
I think there's some fine offenses in the Big Ten. Besides Illinois, name one.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I thought Brandon was doing a bit there.

Speaker 1 Ohio State, Oregon, those are not good offenses. We're just pretending those are not good offenses.

Speaker 1 They are. They are.
But most of the time. But it's not.

Speaker 1 They can get to 8-9 wins.

Speaker 6 Ohio State is probably going to run the ball down the throat. Yes.

Speaker 1 I mean, the Big 12, the comparable spot in the Big 12 is, you know, Texas Tech is the same level as, like, I don't know,

Speaker 1 no, not even Iowa, Illinois, Indiana. The Big 12 has better offenses.

Speaker 1 Y'all don't think coming into the Big Ten is going to be a shock for that defense? I think it's going to be...

Speaker 1 Oh, I think that they might actually be better equipped for it because they're going to see more run than they were in the Pac-12. In the Pac-12, they were going to...

Speaker 1 But they couldn't stop the run, Tom. They couldn't stop the run or the pass.
Yeah, but UCLA could stop the run.

Speaker 1 You only have to worry about one. It becomes easier to do the other.
But they got UCLA's defensive winner, who was UCLA's defense was very good last year.

Speaker 1 Well, to back up his point,

Speaker 1 Deanton Lin, who was at UCLA last year, his defensive line was much better. Yeah, that's true.
He's inheriting at USC.

Speaker 1 But I do think, like, just coaching-wise, because I don't think the problem specifically with USC last year was talent. Like, I don't think they had top-tier talent on the defensive side of the ball.

Speaker 1 I thought that was a poorly coached team who clearly did not work on tackling in practice during the season, and it showed on Saturdays.

Speaker 1 I think there is going to be very much a philosophical change in how they approach that side of the ball, and that alone I think will lead to some specific jobs.

Speaker 1 Again, the bowl game was, you could see it right away. Grinching allowed the job as long as he did was shut down.
Now practice on Lincoln's part.

Speaker 6 And they got bigger guys. Andy Staples taught us that.

Speaker 1 It matters. Yeah.
I'm not familiar with Mr.

Speaker 6 Staples. You want big guys playing playing defensive line.
Fair enough.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 SEC. I know you disagree with this, Brandon, but I, and this is not a hot take because it's still Alabama, but I think Alabama is, I think Jalen Milro is going to be awesome in Kalen DeBoer's offense.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't. I just think

Speaker 1 it took, and I'm not. What does Kalen DeBoer do? I'm not comparing Kalen DeBoer and Tommy Rees.
I'm not.

Speaker 1 What I'm saying is it took Tommy Rees and that offensive staff about a month to figure out how to best utilize Jalen Millrow.

Speaker 1 You had to work around his deficiencies, you had to work around the fact he can't really throw the ball. Okay, but you had to work around it.
And they did, they figured it out.

Speaker 1 But once they got a playoff and play in Michigan, he was terrible again. He just didn't do anything.
I mean, they were a snap away from. That's fine.

Speaker 1 But it certainly wasn't thanks to Jalen Millrow or the way he played.

Speaker 1 I think Jalen Milro is a challenge for offensive coordinators. And I think if they had a better quarterback, I would be a lot higher on Alabama.
Okay. I just think Kalen Boer is a great coach.
He is.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 what does he do? He schemes it up, especially deep balls with Jalen Milro. That's what he's a lead at.

Speaker 1 What? He's

Speaker 1 good at a deep ball. Deep balls.

Speaker 1 He can throw deep balls.

Speaker 1 He can physically throw it that far, but he knows where it's going.

Speaker 1 I've seen him throw good deep balls. You don't think he's going to depot?

Speaker 1 No, he's not going to deep ball.

Speaker 6 Listen, I watched a lot of Alabama games last year. I saw everything.

Speaker 1 He chucks the ball deep.

Speaker 1 He had receivers capable of running under it. I'm not saying that.
They were not exactly active. But he can't throw in the middle of the field.

Speaker 1 If you were to highlight debt that he's better at than other things,

Speaker 1 running, running.

Speaker 6 I'm talking about throwing the ball. It would probably be a deep ball.

Speaker 1 For sure. Yeah, because if you throw a deep ball, somebody goes and gets it, it looks like a good throw.

Speaker 1 He can't throw it.

Speaker 6 Don't put a spy on him.

Speaker 1 If you try to use Jalen Milro to run the Michael Pennix offense, it's going to fall apart. Well, yeah.
Yeah. Well, that's Michael Pennix.
It's going to fall apart.

Speaker 1 But he can run a lot better than Michael Pennix.

Speaker 1 Kalen DeBoer is a great coach, and I think that over the long haul, Alabama is going to be pretty damn good under DeBoer, as long as they give him a chance and they don't overreact anyway.

Speaker 1 That's the problem. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But you aren't going to see the Washington offense you saw last year at Alabama with Jalen Millro because he had Michael Pennix and three NFL receivers. Alabama doesn't have that.

Speaker 1 They've got Jalen Millro, who has a chance to be a good college quarterback. But I do not think, like, I think the completion percentage on those deep balls last year is

Speaker 1 really carrying a lot of weight more than the actual throws. 12 touchdowns, one interception on deep balls.
Deep balls. It's hard to throw an interception on a deep ball.
Here's Here's who he is.

Speaker 1 Here's who he is in the middle of the field.

Speaker 6 Jalen Miller firmly falls in that category, and there are a bunch of teams across the country that have this, where you talk about their quarterback, and you just say, Jalen Millro is Jalen Millrow.

Speaker 1 That's what you're looking at this time. On cover three, we call them Jag pluses.

Speaker 6 Jag pluses. Okay.
I like that. Yeah, that's good.
Just a guy.

Speaker 1 Just a little bit more than Jalen.

Speaker 1 You don't even know what it is. You're just saying that.
Yeah, no, just a guy. Jag plus.
I use Jag a lot, but I can't use Jag Plus. That's copyright.
Copyright, and Bud will sue you. He is a lawyer.

Speaker 1 No, I know. So you don't think Alabama is going to be good? No, no, no.
I didn't say that. It sounds like you said that.

Speaker 1 I think Alabama will be solid, but I think the second they lose to Tennessee and Knoxville, the second they lose a game that that fan base isn't expecting to lose, like they can lose to Georgia, fine.

Speaker 1 But if they lose to Tennessee and Knoxville, that fan base is going to melt down, freak out, and I'm not sure Kaylin DeBoer will be able to write that ship this year.

Speaker 1 I think in the SEC, there's not enough air to go around to support everybody that thinks they're a contender this year, and somebody's going by.

Speaker 1 Everyone is still in it.

Speaker 1 In what sense? The 12-team playoff. The 12-team playoff, but there's eight fan bases in the SEC that think they're going to the playoff this year.
Yeah. Eight of them.

Speaker 6 Half the SEC. Who's the most delusional?

Speaker 1 Ole Miss. Mississippi State.
No, I don't. First of all, we know exactly what we're getting into this year.

Speaker 6 No, you said five wins, then he said six, and he said five. You don't know exactly.

Speaker 1 Five, six, and five. The average is five and a half.
What? I'm right around it. Okay.
Ole Miss, I don't think it's delusional because I think their roster is very good. But as far as delusional.

Speaker 1 But Ole Miss is very similar where they kind of like the Penn State. They can't beat the good teams.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Lane People. They haven't won those games.
They can't, but

Speaker 1 God damn, they went out and got a lot of help. Yeah, I know they did, but they also, it wasn't like they were blowing out everyone else either last year.
No, they didn't. They were in some scary ones.

Speaker 1 They didn't really, they had the one good win over LSU who finished 9-3. That was

Speaker 1 the end of the game. That was 51-45.
Could have gone either way. But again, Lane saw every deficiency they had and addressed it with a big-time transfer portal.

Speaker 1 It wasn't like he just went out and got guys for the sake of getting them. He got Walter Nolan to plug the defensive line.
He got Princely.

Speaker 1 I think this might be be the year for Ole Miss. And Mintz already said they're in the college football playoff.
I don't care. He's cross-eyed.

Speaker 1 Here's the thing about Ole Miss, and this is true about Mississippi State too, and I said it earlier about another team, but every time there's high expectations on a team in Mississippi, it never works.

Speaker 1 It has never worked.

Speaker 1 We only do well coming from the back. I hope.
I think they're a great team. I think they're a top 10 team.
I hope they're not. I hope they fall, but I think they are.

Speaker 1 I mean, I think that playoff is a realistic expectation for Ole Miss. I do think it's going to be difficult.

Speaker 1 I do think one of the more interesting aspects of following the SEC now that Texas and Oklahoma are in the league is that somebody's going to have to be losing these games.

Speaker 1 Georgia has a gauntlet of a skill. There's not enough oxygen to support everybody.
Yeah, like when you're already that league. Have you been that line before? It's my line for this year.

Speaker 6 That's a congestive heart failure thing. It's very common.

Speaker 1 When you're already a league that has like five teams that consider themselves legit national title contenders, and then you add two more, like somebody is going to be like the seven and five team that's looking around like, what the fuck.

Speaker 1 And there's teams like Ole Miss and Missouri who who are not used to being on this level who believe they're on this level this year. And of those levels, although Missouri's not.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't think Missouri is going to. I think it's going to be a rough one.
I think they're an 8-4 team.

Speaker 6 I'll give you some names, and you tell me if they're delusional by thinking that they should be in the playoffs.

Speaker 1 They're all in the FCC.

Speaker 6 They're SEC fans.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Texas AM.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's delusional. Yes.

Speaker 6 Delusional.

Speaker 1 That's delusional. But I don't know that they truly believe that.
I think they want that, and they might believe it in year two, but not in year one.

Speaker 6 If they win week one, they're definitely in. Oh, for sure.

Speaker 1 They're all in. Then they're all in.
That changes everything, though. Okay.

Speaker 6 Missouri sounds like delusional.

Speaker 1 Delusional.

Speaker 1 I understand why they think it. They like the coach.
Luther Burden's the best receiver in the country.

Speaker 1 I understand why they think it, but the loss of the defensive coordinator and so many defensive players,

Speaker 1 it's not happening. Also, we're just papering over that they beat Middle Tennessee by like three, and they needed a last-second field goal to beat Kansas State.
Florida, they needed fourth and 18.

Speaker 6 We did paper over it.

Speaker 1 Sand paper over it. Sam papering over it.

Speaker 6 Sand papered over it. Tennessee.

Speaker 1 I think they're a legit playoff contender.

Speaker 1 Nicole. I've got him as my number 60.
I think Nico's the best QB in the country. Really? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm not going that far yet, but I think if he is as good as I think he is, we've seen what their team can do, or what Hypo can do when they got a great quarterback.

Speaker 6 Tom, why do you say he's the best quarterback in the country when we've seen him play one game?

Speaker 1 Because I think that you don't need to see the one game. Like three years ago, I was telling you Caleb Williams was the best quarterback in the country, and he wasn't even the starter in Oklahoma.

Speaker 1 I'm telling you, Nico's the best quarterback in the country. I love it.
Size-wise, talent-wise, ability-wise, fit in the offense that he's in, which is an offense that

Speaker 1 somehow made Joe Milton Milton into an NFL quarterback.

Speaker 6 Did you watch the Monday Night Football game, though? No, I can't say that. So, Chris Collinsworth was just gushing all over.

Speaker 6 It was a glaze fest for Joe Milton, which I love because anytime somebody gets their eyes on Joe Milton for the first time, they just fall in love with the guy.

Speaker 6 So, Collinsworth spent about five minutes talking about how Joe Milton told him before the game that if he wanted to feed on the goal line, he could throw the ball 95 yards in the air.

Speaker 1 He probably can, yeah.

Speaker 6 Which is so awesome.

Speaker 6 It is awesome.

Speaker 1 It's pointless. It's useless.

Speaker 6 It's not pointless because it's pointless. It's so much fun to watch.
Great deep ball. You just hate deep ball.

Speaker 1 I found that. No, there's no reason to throw a 95 yards.
All right, but no more. No more Joe Millennium.
95 yards.

Speaker 6 Nico is vastly different than Joe Milton. Couldn't be any different from Joe Milton.

Speaker 1 Nico could throw it to all parts of the field. Nico is mobile.
I just, I think that him in that offense, with what they have, that is going to be a really tough team to beat.

Speaker 1 And they're really good around him. The front seven is fantastic.
Secondary needs a little.

Speaker 1 It's going to be some smoke and mirrors with secondary. Tennessee is a team that you can argue, like I'm saying they have the best QB in the country.

Speaker 1 You can also say they have the best defensive player in the country, and James Pierce Jr. So, like, you put those two things together, those teams tend to be pretty good.
Pretty good. They've got a

Speaker 1 schedule is tough. It's all about that at Oklahoma.
It's all about that.

Speaker 1 They have to go to at Oklahoma. They have to go to at Georgia.
And Alabama at home. And Alabama at home.
I don't think they'll win in the middle of it. I think they'll beat Alabama.

Speaker 1 I think they'll beat Alabama as well. And they also have Mississippi State at home, which would be tough.

Speaker 6 I feel like having a great pass rusher is going to be pretty important for an offense like that.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Make him look even better as a defensive end.

Speaker 6 What What about LSU?

Speaker 1 I don't love them.

Speaker 1 It's delusional. It's kind of a USC side.

Speaker 1 It's hard to say LSU is delusional because you know the talent's just brimming out of that state and on that roster.

Speaker 1 But last year, the roster was talented and they had the worst defense in the country. And I know they went out and got the LSU fan to argue down.

Speaker 1 You know, we have the best defensive staff in the nation now. They got Bro Davis for defensive line.
They got Blake Baker for defensive corner. That's great.

Speaker 1 You're not going from 130th against the pass to like 30th. You might go to 70th, but I don't think it's good enough.
And the defense gets marginally better.

Speaker 1 The offense is definitely getting marginally worse without a Heisman-winning quarterback and two first-round receivers.

Speaker 1 Their offensive line, though, is big. It's really good.
They've got two great tackles.

Speaker 1 I think that there's a lot of people high on Garrett Nussmeier who we have not seen a whole lot of, although you got a front-row situation. They're all LSU fans, though.
Yep.

Speaker 1 But no, I know what non-LSU fans were big on Nuss. But

Speaker 1 to your point,

Speaker 1 again, it's like a USC situation. They lose a Heisman Trophy winning quarterback.
They lose two first-round wide receivers, and that defense sucked ass last year.

Speaker 1 And how much better can that defense get? Doesn't have to be great if Nussmeyer is as good as Jaden Daniels, but we don't know that he's as good as Jaden Daniels.

Speaker 1 There was a report that Harold Perkins is overweight. Good.
It's about time. I know.

Speaker 1 But that was the whole thing where it was just like, because everyone was wondering what the hell happened to Harold Perkins. Harold Perkins is in the running for the weirdest career ever.
Ever, man.

Speaker 1 A four-sacked. He came on in his third year.
Like the freshman Harold Perkins, you think this is the best college football player I've ever seen in my life.

Speaker 1 And then he just doesn't show up for a sophomore season. They don't put him in the right spot.
Now, who knows where he is this year?

Speaker 6 He's also got a 70-year-old man's name.

Speaker 1 Harold Perkins, not a great name.

Speaker 6 No, he can't. That is not a college student.
There's never been a college student named Harold Perkins.

Speaker 1 Does Harold Perkins have Aura?

Speaker 1 The name doesn't, but the guy doesn't. Jason Tatum.

Speaker 6 He's got clogged earlier. What are those teams?

Speaker 6 Let's see. Vandi.

Speaker 1 Probably going to be pretty bad. Yeah, I don't think Vandy's making the playoffs.

Speaker 6 Okay, so Florida. Are they delusional to think that they can win five games this year?

Speaker 1 No, I don't think so.

Speaker 1 I'm torn with Florida because I have just shit on Napier forever because they fired Dan Mullen to hire a guy who's got 50% of his ceiling.

Speaker 1 But Napier is a bad coach, but I think he's built a pretty good roster. I think the roster is better than the coach.
I think they can win.

Speaker 1 First of all, I think they can win this week against a Miami team I love. And then I think they can win seven games.

Speaker 6 Have you seen their last four games?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, it's LSU,

Speaker 1 Home S at Home, Georgia. Top 10 teams every year.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But one of them is Florida State. That's already taken off.

Speaker 1 But I think talent-wise, yeah, they're good. I think Billy Napier is a very good developer of quarterbacks.

Speaker 1 And I think we saw some of that last year with Graham Mertz, who went, looked pretty damn competent with the Gators, more competent than he did with the Badgers.

Speaker 1 But I also think the X Factor there is the guy behind Mertz. If things start going sideways, if they bring in DJ Lagway, that could be kind of like a spark plug to really make...

Speaker 1 turn that season around a little bit and make them far more competitive late in the year. But I think they can get to a bowl game.

Speaker 1 It's just with that schedule, it's impossible to think they're going to get to the playoffs. I don't think the schedule is going to end up being as hard as we think.

Speaker 6 Okay, right now, their last seven games. I'm going to go seven games at Tennessee.
Loss. Kentucky at home.
Win.

Speaker 6 At, well, Florida, Georgia, and Jacksonville. Loss.
At Texas.

Speaker 1 Loss.

Speaker 6 Home against LSU.

Speaker 1 Winnable.

Speaker 13 Winnable.

Speaker 6 Home against Ole Miss. Winnable.

Speaker 1 Winnable. Winnable.
Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 6 And then at Florida State. Winnable.

Speaker 1 We don't know what LSU and Ole Miss. I think both are volatile.

Speaker 1 I like Ole Miss better than I like LSU, but by November, both of those teams could either either be in the tank or be like in the top five. What about Oklahoma and Texas, the new guns?

Speaker 1 All right, Tom, I got to talk to you about Texas. Okay, go.
I've been going through some emotions about Texas. I've got Texas in the playoff.

Speaker 1 I think the quarterback is great. I think the offensive talent's great.
Offensive line, especially the tackle is great.

Speaker 1 How easy is it? They are glossing over. They're just kind of really sandpapering over the fact that they lost Byron Murphy and Devondre Sweat in the middle, and you're going to

Speaker 1 the toughest running conference in the country, and you lost your running defense. I like them, but I can see them falling apart too.
Yeah, no, I'm with you.

Speaker 1 I think Texas people are expecting a little too much from coming into the SEC, and I think the other side, people are sleeping a little too easily on Oklahoma. But I agree with you.

Speaker 1 I feel like defensively, that is a team that could run into some serious problems because between Murphy and Sweat, like that's not, it's not a Georgia situation where when they lost their guys, they had more monsters behind them ready to replace they got big people in Texas they do big old people don't have them on the Longhorns depth chart right now so yeah so you got to get some of them get some churros yeah send Charles to so we need fat San Antonio women on the defensive line yes I mean if that's if that's what Sark should be doing right now he should just be walking the river walk looking for defensive tackles he's done worse yeah okay instead of focusing on stripper monkeys because they they they're still around no they got married they got married brand yeah well love is love guys yeah yeah pull assassins pull assassins stripper monkey what's your hottest take

Speaker 1 for all of college football? All of college football.

Speaker 1 The one that you feel like you're out on a limb. Mine's Alabama.
Mine's Alabama, and it's not,

Speaker 1 I don't think Alabama is going to have a bad year because of the roster talent or because of Taylor DeBoer being a bad coach. I truly think

Speaker 1 they're going to plumb new depths of fan base irritation and fan base just throwing themselves off the mountain. As soon as they lose a game, they're not expecting.
They're going to lose to Georgia.

Speaker 1 But as soon as they lose another game, they're not expecting. That fan base, I mean, we saw Auburn.

Speaker 1 Auburn fans made up a fake affair rumor about their coach to try to get him fired a couple of years ago. Alabama's going to go further than that.
God knows what these Hillbillies are going to do.

Speaker 1 I don't know what they're going to do when they get mad at Calen DeBoer. Everything's nice right now.
They don't want a guy named Calen DeBoer who's never been in the South as their coach.

Speaker 1 So when it goes bad, it's an oxygen problem. It's an oxygen problem.
There's not enough air in the room to support everybody. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. What about you, Tom? I feel like Nico being the best quarterback in the country.
It's a good take.

Speaker 1 it's warm. I will go.

Speaker 1 Oklahoma finishes with a better SEC record than Texas. Wow.
All right. I got to let me ask about that.
Let me probe there.

Speaker 1 Probe. Can I probe? Probe.
And my first car was a 93-ford probe. Remember those?

Speaker 1 So I don't think Vandables is a very good coach. I think they were a soft, a soft, a soft 10-2 last year.

Speaker 1 I can see your argument that they were a soft 10-2, but the problem is, like, we talked about Dylan Gabriel going to Oregon. I think they actually upgraded a course.
Was Jackson Arnold?

Speaker 1 I think Jackson Arnold will be a step forward for them. I think he is a great player.
I think he's going to have an excellent season.

Speaker 1 The question for me is: I think defensively, they got better last season. The question will be: how do they handle the grind of facing LSU offensive lines all season?

Speaker 1 Because they were able to kind of maneuver in the Big 12 away that I'm not 100% sold that they will be able to do here. That schedule is nasty, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the schedule is nasty, but I just think if Jackson Arnold's as good as I think he is, that's going to be a really good Sooners team.

Speaker 1 Not going to win the SEC, but I like your concerns about Texas are shared with me. So I could see that Longhorns losing four games in the SEC.

Speaker 1 But they don't have Oklahoma doesn't have the receiver talent for Jackson Arnold that Baker Mayfield had, even that Jalen Hurts had. They don't have the receiver talent they had five years ago.
No.

Speaker 1 But I think that you can overcome that with a great quarterback. Yeah, but it would certainly help.

Speaker 1 It would certainly be great. Especially when you got Tennessee coming in one week, you got Alabama, you got all this.

Speaker 1 The other wild card.

Speaker 1 The other wild card is their offensive line. I know Oklahoma Sooners fans have serious concerns about it, and I get it.

Speaker 1 But I think that Bill Biedenbaugh over the years has done a tremendous job developing offensive line. What a name.
So I give him credit.

Speaker 6 You could have just made that up.

Speaker 1 No, he's a real person.

Speaker 1 I thought it was Bedenbaugh.

Speaker 1 Bill Biedenbaugh. Is it Bedenba? I thought it was Bedenbaugh.
I've always said Bedenbaugh. I've called him Biedenbaugh to his face.

Speaker 1 Did he react? No. Have you ever called him Bettenbaugh to his face? Never touched his face.
Speaking of Oklahoma, while we're on the subject, how are you on Levy?

Speaker 1 I'm excited. He came in, and he's not scared to recruit.
He's not scared to at least try to recruit. He's not scared to go go after a coach.
I would hope he'd be not scared to recruit.

Speaker 6 Our last guy was terrified. Okay, you missed it.
He's not scared

Speaker 6 to try to recruit.

Speaker 1 No, no.

Speaker 1 Understand what I'm saying. What a hire.
Our last guy was terrified of battles. Our last guy was not going after it.
And Mike Leach, frankly,

Speaker 1 he would recruit you. If you said no one time, he's like, all right, I'll just go.
So

Speaker 1 we haven't had to compete in recruiting battles in a while, or we haven't gotten to compete in recruiting battles. Offense will be a lot better.

Speaker 1 Defense is probably going to be really bad, and hopefully he fixes that in the offseason.

Speaker 1 What coach is on the hottest seat? Billy Napier, for certain.

Speaker 1 What about Ryan Day not beating Michigan? I think, and this is an oxygen problem. I think you're going to see quicker hot seats than you've ever seen before.
Like in the SEC.

Speaker 6 Too much oxygen.

Speaker 1 That's more oxygen because it ignites quicker. Fine.
In the SEC, if Brian Kelly goes seven and five this year, I think that seat heats up real quick. Real quick.

Speaker 1 I think Brent Venable's seat could heat up real quick if they come in and go 6-6 in the SEC. I think Oklahoma fans are a little too much, like, too pot committed with Brent right now.

Speaker 1 They were so fucking like.

Speaker 1 They went 6-6 two years ago. Last year, they kind of had a flukey 10-2.
If they were to go 6-6 again in a new conference, that'd seat. He's hot.
He'll get the new conference excuse, though.

Speaker 1 What about Ryan Jay if he doesn't beat Michigan? He's in trouble. I mean, if he doesn't beat Michigan, he's in real trouble.
In real trouble.

Speaker 1 I think he's going to beat Michigan, but I think he's in real trouble if he doesn't beat Michigan. I think if he doesn't beat Michigan, he better win the national title.
Who's sneaky on the hot seat?

Speaker 1 Sneaky on the hot seat.

Speaker 1 I kind of like Brian Kelly. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's a good one. Yeah, because I think he looks safe.
He looks really safe. He won the division his first year, went 9-3 last year.
But again, like... It's a buyout luck for him, right?

Speaker 1 The reason their defense was so bad is he hired a bad defensive coordinator last year, and he tried to fix it. He went out and spent a lot of money.
If it doesn't fix.

Speaker 1 Is Dabo sneaky on the hot seat? No. Because they just would never fire him? I don't think I think.
Like, if Dabo had a bad year,

Speaker 1 would there be.

Speaker 1 He would go in the next season on a hot seat. I don't think they would would pull the trigger.
Okay, I think too that Clemson's fans, he would be on the hot seat.

Speaker 1 I don't think that administration would ever be able to do that.

Speaker 1 Right. Because there's a difference.

Speaker 1 There's guys that they just, nothing's going to happen. Especially because they don't know how much they're going to have to spend to get out of the ACC, so the buyout situation could be a hindrance.

Speaker 1 I mean, Franklin, right? Franklin's not going to be a fan. I was about to say too far.

Speaker 1 But he's never on the hot seat because whenever he's on the hot seat, he just says he's going to go to USC.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But we talked earlier, like, you know, Penn State's a team that should benefit the most from the expanded playoff because now they're going to get in.
What if they don't?

Speaker 1 Yeah, he isn't all-time, like, I'm not going to let you fire me, I'll quit. Because every single time he gets on the hot seat, it's like, oh, James Franklin, going here, going there.

Speaker 1 But I let me ask you about one more guy. What about Lincoln Riley? He doesn't seem that far.
I think Lincoln is more likely to jump ship than USC is to fire Lincoln.

Speaker 1 Well, that's the exact same principle. He just

Speaker 1 can't fire me, I quit.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I'm going to go be an offense coordinator in the NFL.

Speaker 1 But if he doesn't have a good year, he could have trouble finding that kind of gig.

Speaker 6 Yeah. What about, what does Sam Pittman have to do to save his job?

Speaker 1 Become a different coach.

Speaker 6 It's over for him. It's over.

Speaker 6 There's not even a seat there.

Speaker 1 His seat is so hot. His seat is so hot.
How hot is it? They went out.

Speaker 1 He went out and

Speaker 1 they went out and hired Bobby Petrino, the guy who disgraced the school.

Speaker 1 Well, no, that worked out great for Texas AF. Hey no, he disgraced the school like 10 years ago, and they went out and hired him just because Sam Pittman's fan ass can't coach.
This seat's not hot.

Speaker 6 That's just syphilis.

Speaker 1 Just burns a little bit.

Speaker 6 All right, Heismans. Nico.

Speaker 1 Nico? Brandon? I like Carson Beck. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think Carson Beck's the best quarterback in the country.

Speaker 1 Georgia could win the national title and they could lose two games in the radio season. I mean, their schedule is crazy.
For sure. They have

Speaker 1 four, I think, four top 10 games, and three of them are on the road. One's a neutral site.
Yes. That being Atlanta.
But I mean, they got Clemson.

Speaker 1 Clemson's not a top 10 team, but they got at Alabama, at Ole Miss, at Texas.

Speaker 1 It's crazy.

Speaker 1 It's crazy, but for the Heisman thing, Carson Beck is going to be in marquee spots all season long.

Speaker 1 Every level of the season, the beginning, the middle, the end, he's going to be there. And then the Florida game, the Tennessee game, like there's others.

Speaker 1 I think Carson Beck's going to be in marquee spots and he's going to win the Heisman.

Speaker 1 I already have the future on Nico's Heisman, but I'm telling you, the turning point will be he'll throw for like 350 and four touchdowns in the win over Alabama, and then Nico Mania will be getting Nashville.

Speaker 1 Nicomania's narrative will start.

Speaker 6 There'll be Nicotines everywhere.

Speaker 1 The issue I would, it's a good bet.

Speaker 1 I don't mind the bet, but it almost is like the Hooker thing where he beat Alabama, it goes crazy, and there's a trip to Athens in three weeks, and they just shut you down.

Speaker 1 Anytime somebody says the Hooker thing. Yeah, I was like, what? Bobby Wayne.
Where are we going now? Hindon Hooker? Well, it was raining in that game. Yeah, sure.

Speaker 1 Didn't matter.

Speaker 1 Didn't even get close.

Speaker 6 You got a group of five.

Speaker 1 So I had Boise State until they named Amy Schumer their starting quarterback.

Speaker 1 Have you seen the kid? No, no.

Speaker 1 Look up Boise State's. By the way, I should use

Speaker 1 everyone that Hank Bachmeyer is the Wake Forest starting quarterback.

Speaker 1 Every year, he just bounces around, and I end up losing money. And then halfway through the game, I'm like, fuck, I bet on Hank Bachmeier? Yeah.

Speaker 6 Maddox Madsen.

Speaker 1 Maddox Madsen. He looks like a Targaryen.
Yeah, he looks like Amy Schumer. He really does.
That's not even a joke. Like, he looks exactly like her.
And they got 18 starters back.

Speaker 1 They got one of the best running backs in the country. The schedule is very manageable.

Speaker 1 I can't bet on that quarterback. He kind of looks like a fatter Cody Lanza.
I was like, a little bit.

Speaker 1 He looks a little bit like Brandon Walker. No, he does not look like Brandon Walker.
Yeah. Yeah, he does.
Okay, would you bet on Brandon Walker to win the national title?

Speaker 6 He looks like Brandon Jogger. Like, if you got a little more exercise, lost a few pounds.

Speaker 1 App State?

Speaker 1 I got Memphis.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think Seth Hennigan's a very good player. He's probably one of the better quarterbacks.
I mean, people were going after him in the portal. Memphis was able to hold on to him.
Thank you, FedEx.

Speaker 1 But I do think the Tigers are a team that's kind of flying under the radar out of the American.

Speaker 1 Boise, I'm with you. I was with, until they, like, the the Malachi problems, I'm kind of selling out.
When Jeff Tedford retired again for the thousandth time, I kind of sold stock on Fresno.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I think Liberty's going to get the playoff spot, but I don't think they're going to play anyone.
I don't think Liberty. Don't they play App State? They do.

Speaker 1 They do, but I don't think they're the best G5 team. I just think they play a dog shit schedule filled in a conference where they have more money than the rest of the league combined.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're going to need App State to handle business on that. Yeah.
Unless you got Liberty in the playoffs you can play. Because it is.

Speaker 1 And that bowl game last year where they played whoever they played, Oregon.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it just did not belong there and it was a sham that they got there so hopefully they don't crash the playoff party that's why i got memphis yeah uh okay i got one lesson you guys have been great together you guys both know ball you guys want to kiss i like it too because there was a little moment there where you guys were doing like a one-upsmanship of like what offensive line coach or backup tight end can we name yeah and i lie it was like we kind of hit a crescendo that was just beautiful they kind of if you look at the wide shot of them on the couch right here it's like alternate universe beevis and butthead yeah you guys are perfect

Speaker 1 High cholesterol, Beavis and Butthead. I actually would say it right now.
You guys got to just do this every time together. That's fine.
Perfect. I'm down to do it again.
Are you? All right.

Speaker 1 Oh, look at that. All right.
So my last question. And I just thought of this, and I want to do this right after.
So I'm springing on both of you. I don't like this looking.
Roback question. No, no.

Speaker 1 Listen, it's fair.

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Speaker 1 So I think what we should do is we should do a draft of the playoff. You guys go back and forth, and we'll give,

Speaker 1 let's say, one point for making the playoff, and then one point for every playoff win.

Speaker 1 Is that fair? So it's a season law. It's a okay.

Speaker 1 Do we get a trophy? Yeah, you get college football. Yeah, we'll make a trophy for you.

Speaker 6 So I thought we were going to do this just in the event that Brandon Walker won.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, we'll just pretend it never happened if it looks like he's going to win.

Speaker 1 So we're both drafting drafting 12 teams? Or are we just drafting... You're both drafting 12 teams, but you could...
No repeats. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. What do we think about that? I made some notes.
I was going to say, are you hyped? Oh, you made some notes. Yeah, I wrote down.

Speaker 1 You need to keep notes to know who's going to make the playoffs.

Speaker 1 Wow, I think we know who's in the league. Or 12 teams after this.

Speaker 1 Should we do one point for making the playoff?

Speaker 1 One point for winning. Two points per win.
Two points per win. And if you get a buy that's already automatic, two points, that should count as a win.
Or how about this?

Speaker 1 One point to make it, one point for a first-round win, two for second-three. Yes, because you don't want to wait them the same.
Yeah. Because Ohio State, if they get a buy,

Speaker 1 one point for winning or for making it, one point for a first-round win, two points for memes, write this down. Second-round win, three points.
No, four points for the national champion.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so go one, two, three, four. Yeah, I just said that.
You said one, one, two, four. No, it's not.
What are the odds any of us remember all this? Yeah, memes go write it down. All right.

Speaker 1 Okay, who would like to go first? Actually, you know what? We'll do the lottery ball to decide. Three.

Speaker 1 Odds or evens. Odds or evens.
Odds or evens. That would be funny if we made you guys do that.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Let him call it. I'll take odds.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 if you get the number dead on, you get the first two picks. Three.
Oh, fuck.

Speaker 1 71. Eight.
Wait, I just don't know. Wait, you just fucked yourself.

Speaker 1 He doesn't get a number. Shut the fuck up, Max.
He does get a number.

Speaker 1 He gets 71, which fucks him. Yeah.
But no it would override it would override

Speaker 1 i hope it's eight

Speaker 1 i hope it's three

Speaker 1 94 94 that's first pick for me all right first pick snake draft though so do you want the first pick yeah well no actually it's not a snake draft it's just one one one one back and forth but it can snake no it doesn't snake no it's no all right hold on let's do a lottery ball see if we snake odds are snake answered no snake no snake no snake do you want first pick or would you like to give it to tom i would of course, like first pick.

Speaker 1 Oh, well, that's a very unclassy move by you. Well, what did we have? The fucking laundry

Speaker 1 all the way down here. I drove further than it.
No, but that's, I mean, come on. He's our guest.
You do it every day. What was the point? I'm a guest.

Speaker 6 If I was Tom, I would want the second pick.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but he's our guest. Come on.
I'm good. Would you like the first pick? No, I'm good.
Tom, take the first pick. Wow, he is fucking Brandon is.
How would you?

Speaker 1 Listen, as the number one college football expert on this podcast, Brandon is my guest. The guest is a good guy.
That's true. That's true.
Good point. I'll kick you in the chin.
Good point.

Speaker 1 All right, I'm going first.

Speaker 1 Ohio State. Fuck.
Buck I, Brandon. Yeah.
At it again. So I get the next two? No.
Yeah. I thought he didn't.
Snake.

Speaker 1 Gee, I'll get it. You get the two after that, Brandon.
I'll go with Georgia. Okay.
I feel like they got a chance to be pretty good. I mean, somebody told me they got the Heisman at quarterback.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. Good point, Tom.
And then I'll take Oregon. Okay.
No shit. No shit.
No shit. No shit.

Speaker 1 Kind of fucking me.

Speaker 1 Because you get two picks. Yeah, I got it.
I got it. Everybody, chill out.

Speaker 6 Did you say Tom's fucking me?

Speaker 1 No, nobody's fucking on a quote card, please. You got to think about who's going to get.
I understand, but I don't. Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 I'm going to do it because I believe in them. I'm taking Clemson.
Wow.

Speaker 1 Give me Texas. Texas.

Speaker 1 Clemson. Okay.

Speaker 1 Give me Tennessee. Okay.

Speaker 1 Give me. Penn State.
Fuck you. Okay.
I was trying to see. I'm doing the game theory.
I'm trying to figure out what he wants next.

Speaker 1 I saw his notes. Yeah.
Yeah. All right, Brendan.

Speaker 1 It's getting harder already, isn't it? Yeah, well, the problem is my beliefs and my thoughts about what I said, I think it's going to happen. But also, I want to pick a team.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 not enough oxygen. You can't pick them up.
No, it's a different, it's a different case. Oh, I want to pick Utah, but I already said I don't think they're making the playoffs.

Speaker 1 Well, see, but that way you cover all your bases. Correct.
Why wouldn't you pick the team that you think is going to make the playoffs, Sarah? Yeah, you're right.

Speaker 1 Do you need just to remind you? So I'm picking two.

Speaker 1 Who's going to make the playoffs? All right, so we've already got. Hold on, hold on.
We already got Ohio State. We already got Oregon.
We've got Penn State.

Speaker 1 In the SEC, we've picked Texas, Georgia, Tennessee.

Speaker 1 James, are you writing this down? Because I've already forgotten. Brandon, you're thinking of Kansas State.

Speaker 1 If that's what you're going to go with your Big 12 champion, I'm going to take

Speaker 1 Ole Miss.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 Make sure that graphic just says that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Wow. Get a graphic of Brandon in red and blue.
And Miami.

Speaker 1 And Miami. Yeah.
All right. All right, Tom.
You kind of stuck me with Florida State, you son of a bitch. No.

Speaker 6 I can't believe Brandon took a mess. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I want to be the number one. I want to be the football expert here.

Speaker 6 Turning your bad

Speaker 1 single Big 12 team. Yeah, I'm going to take Kansas State.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And there's also a really good team that's won a lot of national titles. I don't know why you have to talk like that.
I don't know why you have to remind people that there's teams out there.

Speaker 1 You mean like Alabama? Like he understands. I know Alabama's out there.

Speaker 1 He knows Alabama's out there. You don't have to get sassy about it.
I know Alabama's out there.

Speaker 1 Give me Alabama. All right, good pick, Tom.
Give me Notre Dame. Okay.
Yeah. Shit.
That's a good pick.

Speaker 6 That's a good fucking pick. That's great value.

Speaker 1 And Utah. Okay.

Speaker 6 That might be the difference right there.

Speaker 1 Should we give Tom Notre Dame? No, you shouldn't because this is a draft. Yeah, I think so.
What do you mean, if he and I get to swap one team at the end?

Speaker 6 Tom gets old miss.

Speaker 1 Okay. Give me Michigan.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And I'll take Florida State. I'm not really super super thrilled about it, but

Speaker 1 its value at this point. No, yeah.

Speaker 6 How many rounds do you think we could just have him going back and forth before we told him they were to? Just name every team.

Speaker 1 How many teams have we named? You both have.

Speaker 1 Tom has eight teams. And I have seven?

Speaker 1 You have seven. Okay.

Speaker 1 I'm running out of teams. Just chill out.
Everybody relax.

Speaker 1 More relaxed than you are, dude. No, you're not.
You've never been more relaxed than me in my life. I check my fucking aura ring.
It'll tell you right now I'm relaxed.

Speaker 1 The fact that you're wearing an aura ring says you're not relaxed.

Speaker 6 No, it says he has aura. Yeah.
It says I got aura.

Speaker 1 You have diabetes. Type two.

Speaker 1 The best kind. Best kind.

Speaker 1 You're going to pick one of the two. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He can't even get the number one diabetes. I don't want to get the number one college football expert.

Speaker 6 If you got two, you don't have one.

Speaker 1 Fuck, come on. It's hard, right? Yeah.
I know. Fuck, it's like now

Speaker 1 we've reached the point where we both have to pick teams we don't actually believe in. So it's like, yeah, give me LSU.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And Oklahoma State. Okay.

Speaker 1 Agreed.

Speaker 6 I feel like there's a lot of meat on that bone in the Big 12. There is.

Speaker 1 I'm just trying to. That's the thing.
The Big 12 is just such a random number generator.

Speaker 1 Tough. Give me Liberty.
They're going to be in it. Okay.

Speaker 6 Or give you death.

Speaker 1 And Utah and Kansas State are the only Big 12 teams we've taken. Wait.
just took Oklahoma State. Wait.
You took Oklahoma State. Wait, hold on.
What?

Speaker 1 You have Liberty? Yeah. No one's taking Oklahoma.
Yeah. I'm comfortable with that.
Yes. I'm just throwing it out there.
I don't want them yet. Okay.

Speaker 1 He's not going to take them, so I'll take them later. Or am I tricking him into taking them? Who knows?

Speaker 1 Have we taken USC yet? No.

Speaker 1 Give me USC. Good pick.

Speaker 1 I feel like I've got the yeah, I took Liberty in USC. I feel like I've got the entire Big Ten except for Ohio State.
Well, I'm about to.

Speaker 1 I'm turning fully to the dark side. I've already got all miss.

Speaker 1 Give me Iowa.

Speaker 1 That's a disgusting fucking pick. You're a disgusting fucking pick.
Yeah, but I was picked first. They might go 10 and 2 and be terrible.
Schedule's easy. Yeah, they might.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Illinois might go 10-2, too. No, they might not.
No, but that's 100% they might not.

Speaker 1 Iowa does.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're a big Cade McNamara guy. That's cool.
No, I'm not a Cade McNamara guy. What kind of guy are you?

Speaker 1 Fun.

Speaker 1 I'm a Luther Burden guy.

Speaker 1 Give me Missouri. Okay, Missouri.
I don't believe in that one. That one's worse.
Missouri and Iowa. Yeah, that was bad.
That was bad.

Speaker 1 We're at the bottom of the barrel here. I know we are.
I can't fault you for it. We're 23rd and 24th teams in the country.

Speaker 1 Give me Kansas. Okay.

Speaker 1 Wait. Kansas is worse than both those teams I just picked.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because that's how it goes when you draft. Better teams go first.

Speaker 1 Why am I hollering? Where are we fucking back in Mississippi? God only knows. I wish we were.

Speaker 1 All right, for the

Speaker 1 last pick, the 12th pick, you can pick any team the other guy has except for the top three of their picks. So I'll list them for you, and then Brandon, you can do the same.

Speaker 1 But how is that going to be the 12th pick if we're just... Yeah, you just, you just, you know, the same amount of teams.
Yeah, still, same amount of teams. So So you can pick.

Speaker 6 No, no, Brandon's right. So there's still only 11 teams.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. I don't like it.
Yeah, I just want to make it as confusing as possible.

Speaker 1 You get to pick,

Speaker 6 you get to pick one team for the other guy.

Speaker 1 You got two idiots that can't think of any more teams, and you're trying to confuse.

Speaker 6 No, no, you get to put a team on the other guy, but they can't be a shitty team. Memphis.
And me and Big Cat will decide if they're shitty.

Speaker 6 Put something moderately shitty on your opponents.

Speaker 1 It has to be adequately shitty.

Speaker 1 God damn.

Speaker 1 Give me Virginia Tech. Oh, nice pick.

Speaker 1 Do I have one more? Yes. NC State.
Okay.

Speaker 1 We got the ACC covered. All right.

Speaker 1 So, Tom, you have Georgia, Oregon, Tennessee, Penn State, Kansas State, Alabama, Michigan, Florida State, Liberty, USC, Kansas, Virginia Tech. Brandon, you have...

Speaker 1 I don't like Alabama or Michigan being in the middle of yours. Ohio State, Clemson, Texas, Ole Miss, Miami, Notre Dame, Utah, LSU, Oklahoma State, Iowa, Missouri, NC State.

Speaker 1 Notre Dame might have been still a draft. Might have been.
It was a very good pick. It was an excellent value play.
Because they should be in the playoff.

Speaker 1 And that will get you one point no matter what. Although they already have lost their starting left tackle after they had to replace them.
And they got to go to Texas AM. Oh, Texas AM.

Speaker 1 Why wasn't that picked? Because they're not very good. Okay.
That's a good reasoning.

Speaker 6 Marcus Freeman also hosted a show. All right, now.

Speaker 1 What? Don't you host a show with a Texas AM fan? Buddy.

Speaker 1 Now, PFT and I are going to draft the rest of the teams that weren't mentioned. And if any of those teams make the playoffs, we become the college football.
Y'all are going to become

Speaker 1 Weiss Roots on Assistant Manager?

Speaker 6 West Virginia.

Speaker 1 If any of them even make it,

Speaker 1 we then become the experts. All right, boys, this has been awesome.
Yeah. Thank you so much.

Speaker 1 I'd call it awesome. I mean, it was tolerable.
Yeah, it was tolerable. New annual.

Speaker 1 What was the draft for? I thought we were competing. Oh, no, no.
You both would be. No, because the loser of the draft still has a chance to play.
Michigan won a national title last year.

Speaker 1 The other teams still get to play. That's true.
And you were very wrong about Michigan last year. No, not really.
Yeah, you were. Not really.
Yeah, you were.

Speaker 1 You know who wasn't the number one college football expert? I'm pardoned by taking. Oh, Tom Fernelli was.
He called it. That's true.
He called it.

Speaker 6 Are you still saying that you weren't wrong about Michigan, Brandon?

Speaker 1 Does that feel good that you were able to call Michigan for a national championship? Well, you literally said... All they had to do was do

Speaker 1 a national championship. You can't talk about it.

Speaker 1 Give him a blood oath. Yeah, I can.
We won a national title. Baseball 2021.

Speaker 1 It didn't really count because I'll miss one the year after. It doesn't matter.
Wiped it away. We both won.
Yeah. We're both winners.
Mississippi's winners. Everybody's a winner.

Speaker 1 Up to 35th in education. That's pretty good.
Yeah. Huge.

Speaker 1 Huge. We found that fact out today.
That's huge. Enormous.
So suck it, Arkansas.

Speaker 1 They introduced boats. God, who are the 15 states that are worse? West Virginia was there.
Almost everybody around us in the South.

Speaker 1 You guys just all moved out of Mississippi.

Speaker 6 Just a general area.

Speaker 1 Rising tide lifts all boats. Mississippi is leading the way.
Yes. All right.
Thank you, boys. Tom Fernelli, go listen to his podcast.

Speaker 1 Cover three. Cover three.

Speaker 1 I know cover three. I was thinking about whether I want to plug Brandon's.
No, listen to the cover three. Brandon has a podcast? Ish.

Speaker 6 Several. A show.

Speaker 1 Family. Multiple shows.
Family. Well, what about wrestling? Plug wrestling.
We're working on it. Wrestling.
Wrestling mostly on wrestling. Wrestling.

Speaker 1 What about unnecessary roughness? Yeah. Dude, you chose.
What about the yak? You plugging the show that you're on? Yeah, why not? All right, I'm on the yak. Okay, there we go.

Speaker 1 Big cat and Brandon Walker. Yeah.
Mostly sports is good. Thank you.
Yeah. Family.

Speaker 6 It's not as good as wrestling. Who would you say is the Batman and who's the Robin of mostly sports?

Speaker 1 Oh, Titus is Batman. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know that that's true. I mean, whose name is first in the graphic? Yeah.
Titus is Batman and Robin. Brandon's Cat Girl.

Speaker 1 It's Catwoman. He's got the game.
No, I said Cat Girl. You're not even Catwoman.
Catwoman is Connor Griffin. All right.
Thank you, boys. Thank you.

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Speaker 6 Time for something completely different.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. He is an American hero, one of our favorite Americans of all time.
It is Joey Chestnut, and we've got some beef that we're settling. Labor Day weekend.

Speaker 1 Joey Chestnut going up against Kobayashi, unfinished beef. So, Joey, first of all,

Speaker 1 thank you for joining us.

Speaker 1 We missed you. We missed you dearly on 4th of July.
It didn't feel like 4th of July. Where are we at with that part of everything that's happened in the last six months?

Speaker 13 Yeah, I miss being there, man.

Speaker 13 They haven't reached out at all.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 13 yeah, so it's, I don't know if they're waiting to see how this thing goes with

Speaker 13 this contest goes maybe they're hoping I lose and maybe I don't know what but that's not gonna happen all they've done is make me more hungry to make a new record. I'm gonna smash that

Speaker 13 I'm gonna eat more hot dogs than ever before

Speaker 1 the tiger right there.

Speaker 13 I missed that contest. Who knows? Hopefully we can figure out something.
But right now I'm just thinking about Labor Day and Kobayashi.

Speaker 6 Yeah, they poked the bear and they might be very upset that they did that. One last question about what happened on 4th of July weekend because we had your back.

Speaker 6 I love love watching Joey Chestnut compete. It's one of my favorite parts of 4th of July weekend.

Speaker 6 And the report came out that there was a dispute behind some sort of vegan or vegetarian hot dog product. And then I saw the spin machine kick into high gear.

Speaker 6 And then all these people were saying that you wanted to eat vegetarian hot dogs during the hot dog eating contest. And I said, that doesn't sound like something that Joey Chestnut would do.

Speaker 6 This sounds like they're trying to get in front of the narrative. Can you clear us up as to what happened and why they kicked you out?

Speaker 13 Oh, they did some weird things. So, yeah, I started working with Impossible Foods.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 13 by all my previous agreements, I've been allowed to work with them.

Speaker 13 All our agreements,

Speaker 13 they had companies that I couldn't work with, and they were like real hot dog companies.

Speaker 1 And so this year I said, hey,

Speaker 13 they knew I was going to be working with Impossible Foods. So they put them on the list of companies I can't work with after I, after they knew that I was working with them.
And it was lame. lame.

Speaker 13 It was,

Speaker 13 yeah, and I couldn't go back on my deal with Impossible, so I was in a tight spot.

Speaker 13 And then they started leaking all this information to the news and trying to tell people that I wanted to eat vegan hot dogs

Speaker 13 in contests, which wasn't the case.

Speaker 13 I eat clean after contests because I do eat like a madman. So I take days off of eating meat.
So it's they they they try to

Speaker 13 there's probably things I could have done, but they pissed me off a little bit.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 but

Speaker 13 and it sucks because everybody wants to see a new record on the 4th of July. And I want to do it.

Speaker 13 So

Speaker 13 I'm not giving up. I love that contest.
I love 4th of July. I love eating in New York City and I'm hoping I can do it again.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because

Speaker 1 that was the saddest part. The most disconcerting part for us is people saying, oh, Joey likes vegan hot dogs more than regular hot dogs.
We're like, no, he doesn't.

Speaker 1 This guy's American through and through. He puts his life on the line for our enjoyment every 4th of July.
So just so we can set it straight,

Speaker 1 understand you eat it after, but like, you're always going to eat regular hot dogs when we're doing competitions.

Speaker 13 This contest for Netflix, it's all beef hot dogs.

Speaker 13 And I eat meat, crazy amounts of meat, but I do take a break from eating meat,

Speaker 13 which is,

Speaker 13 I think it helps me so I can get back into it so I can push harder.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 13 it's weird that

Speaker 13 they were so sensitive.

Speaker 1 Dude,

Speaker 13 and the way they were trying to control the narrative, changed the narrative to make it look like I was an American, which is, it irked me a little bit.

Speaker 1 But, you know,

Speaker 13 I love the guy who won, Pat Bertiletti. He did awesome.
But I think me and Kobe Ashi are going to probably eat more than he did in six minutes. Yeah.
And

Speaker 13 we're going to push each other to ridiculous limits.

Speaker 6 Yeah, the fake news was out to get you. And it's been a long time since you've competed against Kobayashi, right? Do you remember the last time you guys went head-to-head?

Speaker 13 Oh, yeah. Last time we were in Singapore.
It was one of the only times that the audience was in

Speaker 13 his corner. And he started out.
He was ahead of me. And they were like cheering.
And then I tied it up and they got all quiet.

Speaker 13 It was a good feeling.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But, dude, yeah.

Speaker 13 So

Speaker 13 he's an eater. And I know he hasn't, last couple of years he's taken some time off, but there's nobody who pushes me like him.
And every time we eat against each other,

Speaker 2 we break records.

Speaker 13 It's going to, it's,

Speaker 13 I, I, oh my God. Yeah.
I,

Speaker 13 between eating against him and

Speaker 13 the hunger, just missing the hot dog contest on the 4th of July,

Speaker 13 I've been training, and I'm ready to.

Speaker 1 ready to eat like an animal. It's bird versus magic in hot dog eating competitions.
You just got to bring the best out of each other.

Speaker 1 So what exactly is going to be the setup for this hot dog eating competition?

Speaker 13 Oh, yeah. So Netflix, they want to announce some of the rules.

Speaker 13 I don't know if I've, I might have let some stuff slip, but

Speaker 13 some of the rules, we're eating them a little bit different. It'll be a little bit cleaner.
But I've been practicing and

Speaker 13 I'm a machine right now. So

Speaker 13 it... it shouldn't matter too much that we're eating them a little bit different.

Speaker 13 But at 10-minute contest, all beef hot dogs, just two of us. We'll be kind of slanted so we can see each other while we're eating.

Speaker 13 And

Speaker 13 it's going to be intense. And there'll be a couple undercard events, some eaters, international eaters.
Love that.

Speaker 13 Yeah. And, dude,

Speaker 13 it's going to be, and another thing, only two eaters.

Speaker 13 So the hot dogs they're making, they're going to be super fresh.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 13 it'll be helpful. Good food is always easier to eat.
And

Speaker 13 I'm going to to just turn it on.

Speaker 1 Fast buns.

Speaker 6 Yeah, are we going to have the similar buns to what we have in nature? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 6 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 13 Well, there'll be a little bit different buns, but they'll be fast. And they'll make because they're not sitting outside in the heat.
They won't turn stale. Yeah.
So these ones will

Speaker 13 be able to chew quick, swallow, and move on.

Speaker 6 I'll go beast mode.

Speaker 1 So, so when you say cleaner, are we not dunking them?

Speaker 6 That sounds like we're not dunking them.

Speaker 13 You didn't hear that from me, but

Speaker 1 that would definitely be cleaner,

Speaker 13 which which is awesome. I mean,

Speaker 13 it's more enjoyable to eat them without dunking. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, yeah.
The slush, the dunking is the grossest thing

Speaker 1 ever.

Speaker 13 It's one of the we've

Speaker 13 with practice and competition,

Speaker 13 I know that I can make a new record even with the different roles.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 where's the is there beef? Like, is co is Kobayashi beefing with you more than you're beefing with him? Because

Speaker 1 he's

Speaker 13 very angry. He's an angry, angry man.

Speaker 13 He knows how to hold a grudge okay um he's blocked me and he we we're doing like a blow press tour and he won't do do anything in the same room as me which is all right i mean we're we're not we're not here it's not competitive nicing we have to we have to we're gonna be pushing each other to our uncomfortable limits and he uh he knows i'm gonna he knows what's coming and i know what's coming he's gonna push me and i uh

Speaker 13 it's when everything in my body is telling me to slow down or stop i'm gonna keep pushing it are you guys i love that Are you doing a weigh-in beforehand?

Speaker 6 That would rock.

Speaker 13 I don't know what they're doing exactly. I know they're doing a weigh-in for the hot dogs.
I think the day before.

Speaker 1 Oh, they're weighing the hot dogs?

Speaker 13 Just like, so the people like, oh, these are the hot dogs they're eating, so they can bet on them, I think.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 13 I think right now the over-under is like 66. And I'm going to blow that out.

Speaker 6 Okay. I love that.
I love the confidence from you. I'm curious,

Speaker 6 when you're competing, you mentioned that you're going to be like slanted a little bit so you'll be able to see your opponent.

Speaker 6 That's probably very different from how it is in most of the eating competitions that I've seen, where it's just you, you get to stare straight ahead, you look at your food, you look straight ahead, and you focus.

Speaker 6 In this, you're going to be able to see your opponent as your opponent's eating.

Speaker 6 Are you planning on monitoring him and using him as like a pace car, or are you just going to try to zone out and do your normal thing?

Speaker 13 I'm going to go out hard

Speaker 13 and hopefully I'm finding a rhythm where I'm just almost like a zombie, where I just find this, do the same thing over and over again and can make sure I'm breathing and

Speaker 13 I'll hear, I'll see numbers.

Speaker 13 And I'm hoping that I,

Speaker 13 yeah, usually if everything's working right, I'm just like in a zone.

Speaker 13 If if I'm having a hard time, then I start looking around a little bit too much. But if everything's going good, I can just

Speaker 13 almost like almost teleport. And towards the end of the contest, I'm like, oh yeah,

Speaker 13 I know what I ate, even if I don't don't even if I lose track of numbers.

Speaker 6 Yeah, do you um do you have any self-talk while you're eating? Any things that you you think to yourself?

Speaker 6 I know a lot of elite athletes they they stress the importance of the mental game and putting themselves in the right headspace. Are you are you saying things to yourself internally?

Speaker 6 Are you telling yourself, okay, one dog at a time?

Speaker 13 Yeah, so it's it's uh my biggest thing is stay calm, breathe.

Speaker 13 I know I I'm so I'm so amped up and intense. Uh the the most

Speaker 13 I yeah, if I get a little bit too amped up, I try to swallow too much at one time.

Speaker 13 If I stay calm, breathe, if I hold my end up holding my breath, then I end up getting winded and it screws up my rhythm. So I just stay calm.

Speaker 13 I love this. This is my happy place.

Speaker 1 And it's,

Speaker 13 this is, I,

Speaker 13 yeah, last couple of years on the 4th of July, I didn't break a record. It wasn't even close.
So this is,

Speaker 13 I love competition. It brings out us and everybody.
And

Speaker 13 we're gonna

Speaker 13 make me it's gonna make me work.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.
So I got one last question, Joey. It's a roback question.
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Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts.

Speaker 1 Roback.com, promo code take. So September 2nd, everyone tune in, Netflix, 3 p.m.
Eastern Time, unfinished beef. I hate asking this question, Joey, but I have to ask it.

Speaker 1 If you're thinking about your career, where are you in terms of how many years do we have left?

Speaker 1 Because I don't want to, I already did this year without, I didn't even watch, because I love you so much. I didn't even watch the Nathans on 4th of July.
I was boycotting out of respect for you.

Speaker 1 So I'm hoping that you'll be back next year. But

Speaker 1 what is your body telling you in terms of, are you in your prime still? Are you on the back nine?

Speaker 1 Where are you at?

Speaker 13 It's weird. Like, the way my practices have gone this year,

Speaker 13 I'm breaking records. I'm doing the best I ever have.

Speaker 13 But I am older.

Speaker 13 It'd be silly for me to say this is my prime, but I know my body so well.

Speaker 13 It takes a little bit longer to recover. So

Speaker 13 I definitely have more years. My doctor's really happy with everything.

Speaker 13 Did the scope on both ends, and everything's working well.

Speaker 6 And so I got years left.

Speaker 13 And I'm not even looking at that.

Speaker 13 I'm not looking at the end. I'm looking at

Speaker 13 just hot dogs right now and hot dogs in the future and some awesome records.

Speaker 13 Some Oktoberfest events.

Speaker 1 And yeah,

Speaker 13 it's going to be a fun ride. I'm

Speaker 13 staying on this wave.

Speaker 1 We're going to put that on a quote card. Hot dogs right now, hot dogs in the future.
Yeah, I like it.

Speaker 6 I don't want to think about what the 4th of July is going to be like in perpetuity without Joey Chestnut.

Speaker 6 Have you thought, actually, when you're watching the Olympics this year, did you see some of those events and be like, why isn't eating in the Olympics?

Speaker 13 Man, dude, yeah, there was a couple that,

Speaker 13 yeah,

Speaker 13 eating is eaten, but

Speaker 13 there should, like that rake dancing.

Speaker 13 There's some serious athletes there, but then that woman was a joke.

Speaker 6 Raygon.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, Raygun.

Speaker 1 She had a goofball, but I like her, actually.

Speaker 1 But, you know, eating, it wouldn't be that weird to every

Speaker 13 host country to have an eating contest.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 I think it should be an Olympic sport because it's one thing that everybody that's ever ever born has done. So you can actually say Joey Chestnut is the best eater of all time to eat.

Speaker 6 And you can't say that about most sports because some people, they grow up in places that maybe don't play basketball or don't play,

Speaker 6 don't do the luge, you know, for Winter Olympics. But with Joey Chestnut, it's like you can say definitively, this man is the best eater to ever walk the face of the earth.

Speaker 13 Yeah, it's uh yeah, like there's old women who know what it's like to be full.

Speaker 1 There's not too many people.

Speaker 13 Not that many people have ever hit a home run. Not that many people have slammed dunked a basketball.

Speaker 13 So everybody can kind of relate and

Speaker 13 kind of measure up.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I would like to see that in the Olympics.

Speaker 1 I would too. All right, well, Joey, we're going to be rooting for you.
We're excited for it and great to see you. And

Speaker 1 let's just never retire. Let's just keep eating forever.

Speaker 13 Oh, until the wheels fall off. Love it.

Speaker 1 Love it. Love it.
All right. Thanks so much, Joey.
Appreciate it, man. Take care, guys.
All right. Thanks, Joey.

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Okay, let's wrap up with Firefest. Also, quick show announcement.
Huey's summer internship has completed.

Speaker 1 We appreciate him being around. It was a lot of fun having him around.

Speaker 1 So yeah, it ended. He's going back to Michigan.
So, thank you to Huey. He's got everyone still follow him on Twitter.
NBA Hole. Is that NBA Hole? NBA Hole.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 He went out with a bang with the Jerry O'Connell.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was Jerry and Huey. We were a great tandem.
So, yeah, everyone follow him. We'll see what he does next, but we appreciate him being our summer intern.

Speaker 1 And next summer, we will probably have another intern, but we have to figure that out. We'll do it earlier, too.
Fuck that part out.

Speaker 9 Well, we were gone for like the whole month of July. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Maybe next summer, let's not be gone the whole month of July.

Speaker 1 I don't know about that. Just a whole month.

Speaker 1 Show week? Yeah. Fourth of July.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Gone the whole month of July.

Speaker 9 I'd rather be here. But my fire fest of the week is

Speaker 9 goes back to Camp Arsenal. Last week we played 16-inch softball for the first time.
Big Hat has been preaching about it for a while.

Speaker 9 Had a lot of fun. Probably my favorite part of camp.

Speaker 9 And then

Speaker 9 this past Thursday, we had our 12-inch softball game, hard ball. I'm the pitcher, and then I got absolutely smoked.
Kid hit a screamer up the middle as hard as you could, smashed into my shin.

Speaker 9 I heard a crack, and I like limped off. But after it initially happened, based off the sound, I thought I broke my leg and the dunking wasn't going to happen.
Turned out just to be a little bit more.

Speaker 1 Oh, that would have been the reason?

Speaker 6 That would have been a great excuse.

Speaker 9 Yeah, but I don't want to give up. I'm not giving up.
I'm not giving up. I still think I'm going to do it.
It's a big month. September's going to be.

Speaker 1 Oh, I mean, yeah.

Speaker 1 Why would you give up? We work in a basketball office. Yeah.

Speaker 9 But I just hate, it really, the 16-inch was so fun, and then getting hurt, playing 12-inch. And I never really loved 12-inch, but.

Speaker 1 I've converted you.

Speaker 9 You've converted me. And then I was already converting me.
Max were already saying, like, this is going to be, because we have a playoff game tonight.

Speaker 9 We haven't won a single game in the regular season. We're probably going to get smoked again.

Speaker 9 But I was already at the game being like, I wish we were playing 16-inch. Next season, we're playing 16-inch.
Like, this is going to be our last game. And then I almost

Speaker 9 had a life-life-threatening.

Speaker 6 Ironically, it's more about playing small ball when you're playing with a 16-inch soft. Oh, yeah.
Because you try to direct the hits, hit it where they ain't.

Speaker 6 There are some dudes that play at the park next to my house, and they take it so seriously. Oh, yeah.
They show up wearing like the skin-tight, they're almost like

Speaker 6 motorbike racing shirts that they wear. They're like really tight, flashy colors.
They're all 6'2 ⁇ , 230, and they just mash the ball. And it's so much fun to play.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Old dudes can play 16-inch, which tells you that that's the style of the game. It's a thinking man's softball.
So it's fully converted. We're going to get a 16-inch.

Speaker 1 I told you guys when you guys started the 12-inch league, I was like, the minute you get a 16-inch league, I'm in. But I'm not playing 12-inch.
What time's your game tonight? 8.

Speaker 1 I want to bail somewhere. I can't make it.

Speaker 1 Shit. I really wanted to be there for you boys.
I'm I'm not going to be able to make it.

Speaker 9 We're doing the office, everyone pointing a gun at each other meme in our group chat, waiting for someone to bail.

Speaker 1 Here's an idea.

Speaker 9 Everyone else is ready to ball.

Speaker 1 Why don't you guys bring a 16-inch ball and be like, want to do this instead?

Speaker 9 I'll just bring the balls.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, but go buy a 16-inch ball and be like, hey, let's play 16-inch.

Speaker 1 We should bail. Worth a shot.
You guys should bail.

Speaker 3 Because if we win tonight, the next game is next Thursday.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, you can't do that. You got to bail.
You got to bail.

Speaker 6 Throw it.

Speaker 1 You got to bail.

Speaker 1 Bail now so that you can at least let the other guys not have to show up.

Speaker 1 Like, don't bail and not tell anyone. Just bail.

Speaker 1 And they're already playing.

Speaker 9 They're already playing after. If we won tonight, it'd be a double header.
So the team that we're playing is only going to, like, they're still playing tonight.

Speaker 1 Max, tell them I demanded to bail.

Speaker 6 What's your team record?

Speaker 9 Worry, we have 0 for the season.

Speaker 6 You haven't won a game. Well,

Speaker 1 they did Thursday nights in the summer, which is is an impossible thing. I've been won games.

Speaker 6 You haven't won a game?

Speaker 3 We had a full team one time.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you guys should never have done Thursday nights in the summer.

Speaker 4 Or you're thinking like Thursday nights, we'll play some games, drink some beers.

Speaker 1 No, it's a Tuesday or Monday thing because it's summer, so then you drink the beers on Tuesday or Monday or Wednesday.

Speaker 6 Wait, if you win this game, you make the playoffs.

Speaker 1 We're in the playoffs. Everyone makes a playoffs.
Everyone makes the playoffs.

Speaker 6 This is the playoffs.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, it's bad. What if you won it all?

Speaker 1 What if you guys just fucking won it all?

Speaker 6 You got to throw this game. It's not even fun.

Speaker 9 12-inch softball is just like a glorified t-ball.

Speaker 1 Wait, how does... How does...
I agree. That's why 16 inches is far superior.
How does the team have a double header if it's the playoffs?

Speaker 2 I think we're in the play schedule.

Speaker 1 Oh. Wait, but how to, what do you mean? So you could have a doubleheader tonight? Yes.
Ah. That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 9 So if we forfeit the team's battle.

Speaker 2 Because the team could just go on, just play the next game, right? Right.

Speaker 6 Right. You either got to bail

Speaker 6 or you got to win it all.

Speaker 1 No, yeah, just bail. This is a no-brainer bail.
They're going to still get to play softball tonight.

Speaker 1 And they don't have to get there at 7 o'clock. Hank,

Speaker 2 how about you get Joe's on the on the

Speaker 1 add me to the group text?

Speaker 2 A live Joe's call will be funny.

Speaker 1 No, add me to the group text. Add me to the group text.
Add me to the group text right now. All right, PFT.

Speaker 6 My fire fest of the week is I'm on a diet. And I have to go on a diet during football season, and it's not fun.
It's not fun at all.

Speaker 1 I diet

Speaker 6 off season. There's no no good time.
There's no really good time to diet, but this is maybe the worst time of year to diet. And I'm trying to, so I went to the doctor.

Speaker 6 Doc told me cholesterol is a little bit high. I would not be dieting during football season if it wasn't like, okay, you got to bring this number down, but I have to.

Speaker 6 And so I've been eating super healthy, and it sucks. It sucks eating healthy.
I had buffalo cauliflower the other night. Everybody was like, you're not going to miss chicken wings.
Guess what?

Speaker 6 I fucking miss chicken wings.

Speaker 1 I kind of like buffalo cauliflower. It's not the same.

Speaker 6 It's not the same. It's not the same.

Speaker 2 If you just look at it as something different,

Speaker 2 it's kind of good.

Speaker 6 And everyone always tells you, oh, there's ways that you can eat healthy and still enjoy your food. That's not true.
It's not true. You can't, all the good stuff in the world is bad for you.

Speaker 6 All the bad stuff in the world is good for you. Or all the bad tasting stuff is good for you.
All the good tasting stuff is bad for you.

Speaker 1 No, just

Speaker 1 eat no carbs. That's the way I do it.
But I love carbs. You're a fucking model of health.
I love carbs. I know, but that's the only way to lose weight is just go no carbs.

Speaker 1 I'm not trying to lose weight. Yeah.

Speaker 6 I'm trying to bring down the

Speaker 6 cholesterol. So just eat bacon.
Does that do it? No, I don't think so.

Speaker 1 So all I know about cholesterol is, listen, I don't see a doctor. I take care of my cholesterol.
I have a fucking bowl of Cheerios every morning.

Speaker 6 Yes. I start eating oatmeal, steel-cut oats, all that shit.
It's not fun. There's no fun in it whatsoever.
And it just sucks because I'm going to, on Sundays, we eat junk food all day.

Speaker 1 Oh, we eat. We junk.
We eat.

Speaker 6 And I'm going to have to be the guy in the office that brings in like a Tupperware thing of tuna and avocado.

Speaker 9 Literally, it will never happen. Never happen.

Speaker 1 And if you do, honestly, I'll fight you. Yeah, you should.
No, if you bring in a

Speaker 1 hold on,

Speaker 1 like, I hold on, time out.

Speaker 6 If I bring in a healthy timeout on Sunday and I get slapped, I'm going to be like, yeah, I deserve that.

Speaker 1 No, no. If you bring in a Tupperware of tuna fish on a football Sunday, you're done.

Speaker 6 Well, I'm not eating it in the room.

Speaker 1 No, but I'm saying just bringing that like Monday through Friday. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's over. I know.

Speaker 1 You can't do that.

Speaker 6 And then, so what happens is, because I complain about it.

Speaker 1 I don't think you understand that you can't do that. I get it.
I get it. No, but you keep pretending like,

Speaker 1 PFT, that would be no different than me being like, hey, PFT, I've just committed five murders.

Speaker 6 I'm going to sneak out. Can you help me? I'm going to have to sneak out to the car and eat my healthy food and shit.

Speaker 1 I can't help you.

Speaker 6 It's bad. It's bad.
And people complain because I have the take that there's no good food, no food that's good for you that actually does taste good.

Speaker 6 And then everyone's like, actually, you can eat steak all you want and be super healthy. Yeah, there's no carb.
Is that true? That you can just eat steak all the time?

Speaker 6 And if the only thing you eat is steak, you'll be,

Speaker 6 your fat levels will go down? Yes.

Speaker 1 100% true. People do not.
Don't do not mess with Sundays. There's no dieting on football Sundays.
That's not a thing.

Speaker 6 I might just fast. We don't do.

Speaker 1 That's fine.

Speaker 1 You don't eat? That's fine.

Speaker 6 I might just not eat.

Speaker 1 But you don't get to eat healthy shit around us when we're stuffing our face with everything else.

Speaker 6 I might just not eat that. That's fine.

Speaker 1 Not eating is a choice that you can make, but if you bring a Tupperware of tuna and avocado,

Speaker 1 it's on site. It's bad.
Because then you're going to make everyone else feel bad, and that's not okay.

Speaker 6 That's why I'm saying I just have a safe space. I'm going to put a bunch of car and eat it in shame.
Sunday's a safe space.

Speaker 6 What if I just do like two slices of pizza?

Speaker 1 That's fine.

Speaker 1 It's pretty much

Speaker 1 bringing other things, like healthy food. If you bring a Tupperware on a Sunday, you're an asshole.
If we get pizza. You could even order a salad from the pizza place.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't say shit to that. Can there be a Tupperware that's the problem?

Speaker 6 No, I want pizza. Could there be, can we have one thing that is the color green on the pizza? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 That's healthy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. We're

Speaker 1 update on the group text.

Speaker 6 But I am going to have a six-pack by the Super Bowl and we're going to be the first shape of our lives.

Speaker 1 Oh, I am too. Adding in my friend Dan from work, I said, hey guys, Dan from work here.
I think we got a bail tonight. I'll be the first to say it.
I'm out.

Speaker 1 And then Tom Lay said, it's the playoffs, Dan. Yeah, I know,

Speaker 1 but we can't make it.

Speaker 6 Sorry, guys. Great season.

Speaker 1 My hero.

Speaker 1 Okay. My Fire Fest is simple.

Speaker 1 Thank you to everyone who watched Doug's streams. We won a natty on Wednesday night.
It took me seven years to win a natty.

Speaker 1 But my Fire Fest is

Speaker 1 there was a point we played in an incredible semifinal game, and

Speaker 1 in the overtime, I scored first, kicked the extra point. UNC scored second, kicked the extra point.
UNC went third, scored, didn't get the two-point conversion.

Speaker 1 I then scored, was getting ready to do the two-point conversion, and the game gave me the option to kick the extra point, and I did.

Speaker 1 And it's the only thing I regret because now a lot of people say asterisks no matter what. They say sliders, even though I show the sliders, I wish I had just gone for two.

Speaker 6 So you kicked the extra point, they didn't get their two-point conversion.

Speaker 1 They didn't get their two-point conversion. The rule in college football is then I still have to go for a two-point conversion.

Speaker 1 When I pulled up the screen, it gave me the option to kick the extra point. I kicked it in one.

Speaker 1 Some may say you should probably take it up with the EA developers, not me.

Speaker 6 By the rules of the video game.

Speaker 6 But by the rules of college football, you did a play that doesn't count.

Speaker 1 I did, what I did was I gave the haters. a spot

Speaker 1 to do an asterisk which they were going to do anyway but i was going to be able i mentally and even max said that he was going to get in the chat and say asterisks.

Speaker 1 I wish in the moment, memes, that you had stopped me and said, hey, go for two anyway.

Speaker 1 We got to get the win.

Speaker 6 We had to get the win. You should hang the banner, the championship banner that you make for yourself should just be a giant asterisk.
Take it back.

Speaker 1 I'm fine with that. I'm fine with that.

Speaker 1 Max, memes, you guys got a fire fest?

Speaker 1 If you don't have one, it's okay. I do.
I have one. Oh, let's go.
I have a doozy.

Speaker 2 I have one that may not, I know how you guys are going to spin it. Uh-oh.

Speaker 2 And it's going to look bad on myself. Uh-oh.

Speaker 6 We would never do that.

Speaker 1 Did you clog another toilet? No.

Speaker 2 I'm going to start this by saying I love dogs.

Speaker 1 Oh, no.

Speaker 2 I'm going to start this by saying I love dogs.

Speaker 1 Okay, good that you've got that out there. I'm going to.
You love fucking dogs?

Speaker 2 First and foremost, I love dogs.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 I've moved into a new apartment this week. Yeah.
I've been talking about my struggles with that. That in itself is the biggest firefest that will be going on for at least another month.

Speaker 2 Moving is the worst thing in the world.

Speaker 9 You got a long weekend.

Speaker 2 And it's also, I have a wedding

Speaker 2 four out of the next five weekends.

Speaker 1 It's crazy how many weddings this guy's got to go to.

Speaker 2 A million weddings.

Speaker 2 I go to sleep my first night there.

Speaker 2 I go to sleep my first night there. I wake up 6:15 in the dog's bedroom.
Howling.

Speaker 2 A howling dog that gets anxiety when

Speaker 2 his owner leaves.

Speaker 6 Right next door.

Speaker 2 Right next door,

Speaker 2 6.15 on the dot every single day.

Speaker 1 Have you met the dog?

Speaker 1 I have met the guy.

Speaker 2 Very good guy. I've met the dog.
Good dog.

Speaker 6 What type of dog?

Speaker 2 I think

Speaker 2 it's got to be.

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 1 Size. What size is it? It gives us a description.

Speaker 11 Sounds like you didn't get the dog.

Speaker 1 It's a medium-sized dog. Sounds like you didn't pet the dog.

Speaker 6 It sounds like you can't describe the dog.

Speaker 2 It's a medium-sized dog.

Speaker 6 Okay, so what does that mean? Anything.

Speaker 2 I don't know. It's not like

Speaker 2 a toy dog, but it's not like a lab.

Speaker 1 Stella?

Speaker 2 Yes, kind of Stella-size.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 It's just

Speaker 2 an issue.

Speaker 6 What color is the dog?

Speaker 2 It has woken me up at 6 o'clock every single day, and I'm just anxious that for the rest of my time in this apartment you wake up at 6 o'clock because it's not something you can complain about.

Speaker 2 You can't go to.

Speaker 1 Well, you could.

Speaker 2 but what's the solution? There's no solution. The guy leaves for work and the dog gets anxiety about the guy leaving for work.

Speaker 1 What if the guy howl cries? What if howl cries?

Speaker 6 I got a solution for you. What if you just make such good friends with the dog that you offer the guy, hey, I'll take your dog for a walk in the morning if you'd like.

Speaker 2 We talked about that, but then I still have to get up, then we still have to get up at 6 a.m.

Speaker 1 Wait, no, what if he just opened your door and just let the dog run in?

Speaker 2 I just leave my door wide open.

Speaker 6 Well, you give him a key, and then he drops his dog off with you when he leaves.

Speaker 2 And then the dog would just come in and

Speaker 1 he's a dog out of the room. Is a dog in a crate?

Speaker 1 I have no idea. So the easy option is whatever wall you share with him, which is what, the bedroom wall? Yes.

Speaker 1 He should put it.

Speaker 1 You should get the dog a crate and put it in the far wall.

Speaker 2 I think it's a studio.

Speaker 6 Oh. So it's one room?

Speaker 2 Because I looked at the,

Speaker 2 you know, when you get out of an elevator, there's like a fire escape thing that shows all the the layouts. I'm pretty sure it's a studio.

Speaker 1 So this has been every single morning.

Speaker 2 Every morning since I moved in.

Speaker 1 So then you got to just. Well, I haven't had.
All right, here's an idea. All right, all right, all right, which I think will be.

Speaker 1 Here's an idea.

Speaker 1 Do we think the guy's a listener?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 1 Okay, great. Perfect.
We got to figure out where he works. We've got to get him fired.

Speaker 1 That's easy.

Speaker 1 We've got to get him fired. Yeah, it's out of it.
Because then he won't have a job, and then he'll be at home all the time with his dog.

Speaker 6 Or is he a single guy?

Speaker 2 When I met him, he was by himself with the dog.

Speaker 6 So it's just him in that apartment?

Speaker 2 If I had to guess, yes.

Speaker 9 He always don't move into a studio.

Speaker 6 You need to get him a girlfriend.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we got to hire a prostitute, pretty woman. We've seen the plot of that movie.

Speaker 2 That's not about

Speaker 6 nights. That's not about IT.
Sorry, around in the morning.

Speaker 1 Prostitute, girlfriend, or get him fired.

Speaker 1 It actually work in conjunction.

Speaker 6 I kind of like the idea of Max just giving the guy a key and saying, I'll look after dog in the mornings, let him into my apartment. But

Speaker 2 that doesn't help my problem. Like the dog.

Speaker 6 No, it's not going to howl. What about separation angles?

Speaker 6 But it's still going to wake me up.

Speaker 1 Luckily, it's only for like five minutes and

Speaker 2 then the dog's quiet and I can go back to bed, but it's still like waking up at 6.15.

Speaker 1 Earplugs?

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's

Speaker 2 a sound machine was our first.

Speaker 1 Okay, sound machine earplugs also maybe like make a hole in between your apartments and have a dog door. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I don't know how that would work.

Speaker 2 There's an easy solution that I don't want to do because I'm stubborn about it.

Speaker 1 Kill the dog, Max? What the fuck?

Speaker 2 I moved into a two-bedroom. I could just, like, it's the master that has two closets and a bathroom in it.

Speaker 1 I could just go into the seat.

Speaker 1 You don't want to get bullied out by it. Exactly.

Speaker 1 That's exactly what I'm saying. Yeah, you can't do that.

Speaker 2 Then I'm just like succumbing to the situation. No, then the dog went.

Speaker 1 I don't know if that was the right word, but I used it.

Speaker 6 Then the dog went, so Max, you're a big Eagles fan. Have you thought about just wearing Mike Vick jerseys all the time around him and then seeing what the guy, maybe he moves out?

Speaker 1 This explains why you've been yawning.

Speaker 2 I just said stucks. It sucks.
It stinks and it sucks.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It sucks.

Speaker 6 Stuck. Imagine Max, though, like, wearing sunglasses, a big, like, bright green Philadelphia Eagles Mike Vic jersey, knocking on his door and be like, hey, your dogs give me some problems in the next.

Speaker 2 I thought about how frustrated I'm going to be after the first NFL Sunday when I get home at 3.30 and the dog, and I just wake up two and a half hours later to this dog just like when I say howling, like I feel bad for the dog every, like, scream crying.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like, you know, the sound of, like, and it's, and it's loud and it doesn't stop. It's just like, oh,

Speaker 1 oh, no.

Speaker 2 Like, for five straight minutes.

Speaker 6 Max, can I put you on some game real quick? What's that? All right. One thing I've been doing recently, and I love, I got this.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, you have told me about it.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I got the, at nighttime, I got a blindfold that I put on to go to sleep that has these earphones in them. They're like Bluetooth earphones.
So you can play like a podcast.

Speaker 6 You can play a video on YouTube. You put your phone, plug it in on the nightstand, and you can listen to it as you fall asleep, and it doesn't fall out.
It doesn't hurt your ears.

Speaker 6 It's like very comfortable. If you have something going in your ears like that, you might not hear the dog in the morning.
And when your alarm goes off, it'll play the alarm sound in your ears.

Speaker 6 So you don't have to worry about missing your alarm.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's nice.

Speaker 6 Or you could kill the dog.

Speaker 2 I'm not going to kill the dog.

Speaker 6 You want to kill the dog now? I'm not not going to kill the dog. Did the thought cross your mind?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 No. You have definitely thought about it.

Speaker 6 Yeah, you thought about it.

Speaker 1 You thought about it. Deep, dark, dark, down thoughts you've thought about.
No.

Speaker 9 No.

Speaker 1 Hey, who's the guy who, that clip where he was like, more, more, 100, more, 500, more? Isn't that the Cabinet? No,

Speaker 6 Michael Cohen. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And someone asked me how many plays I'm going to add.

Speaker 3 I thought that was the Beers thing. No.

Speaker 1 Well, I'm going to add automatic. Someone asked me how many

Speaker 1 plays I'm going to add on Saturday.

Speaker 9 College Chicks, automatic.

Speaker 1 All right. Memes, you got anything?

Speaker 3 My apartment door keeps getting stuck because apparently when it's so humid out, wood expands.

Speaker 9 That's a fact.

Speaker 3 So I had to lube up my door with Vaseline for like 30 minutes and still get stuck.

Speaker 1 Use Vaseline?

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's what my building manager told me.

Speaker 6 Not WD-40? No. He said use that.

Speaker 3 Still get stuck.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 6 So you can't get out? Yeah.

Speaker 6 I can't get in. Which harder?

Speaker 3 Can't get in, so it looks like I'm breaking into my apartment every single time.

Speaker 1 I love that. Damn.

Speaker 1 That's worse than a dog. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Max hates dogs. I love dogs.
Shane, what's up?

Speaker 1 Shane, did you see softball got canceled?

Speaker 1 I said, did you see softball got canceled?

Speaker 1 They said, update, they said

Speaker 1 some number I don't have said just

Speaker 1 send us Pug and keep the other four and I said okay deal and they said oh shit wait Pug is out of town. Back to canceled.
So we're canceled.

Speaker 1 It's Tom Lay and his friends, right? That's the problem. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And we forfeited so many times. I think the biggest problem is I think it's an awkward conversation for the guy who.

Speaker 2 Because the guy asked us last week, will you be able to field a team this week? We said yes. Who? Like the league manager.

Speaker 1 But you're never playing in this league again. I know.

Speaker 1 That's what I was thinking. League manager, if you're a listener, hit me up.

Speaker 1 He'll be happy. Yoast.
Yoast. Yoast.
Hit me up. $100 free gift card to stellablue.com.
StellaBlue Coffee.com. All right.
We figured this out. All right.
Numbers. Three.
Twenty.

Speaker 9 One. Eight.

Speaker 1 Twenty-one.

Speaker 1 Ninety. Is that 90? Looks like 90.
90.

Speaker 1 Love you guys.