Will Compton, Comedian Sam Morril, Mt Rushmore Of Orange Things And The Finale Of Barstool Summer Camp

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have the finale of Pardon My Take at Camp, and we've got two great interviews for the people. We have our good friend Will Compton, sober this time, to talk a little football, get us excited for college football, some funny stories from his NFL days.
And then we have comedian Sam Morel, our friend who was on a year ago, pretty much a year ago today, back in studio. We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of orange things.
It's getting tight. We have four Mount Rushmores left.
We're going to maybe do a, we're going to start the show, maybe reading some headlines because there's not a lot going on and we've also been at camp. And then we are going to do Firefest the week, which you will not want to miss.
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Okay, let's go. done no place to hang out or wash in and then i can't blame all on the sun oh no we're gonna rock down to electric avenue and then we'll take it higher oh we're gonna rock down to it's part of my take presented by barstool sports welcome to part of my take presented by draft kings score big with draft kings all college football season download the draft king sportsbook app now use code take that's code take for new customers get 200 in bonus bets when you bet just five bucks only on draft kings the crown is yours today is friday august 23rd and boys i am the sorest man alive yeah football's back too football is back but yeah very very sore this morning uh every part of my body really we were in the water yesterday and when you swim you use muscles that you don't know that you have and uh yeah i my back is sore arms are sore shoulders are sore my soul is sore i i wanted to do i was talking to uh our good friend, Rudy, who works with us.
And I was like, I'm so sore. And he's like, I'm sorer than you.
And I thought in my head, we should next year when we come to camp, the last day we should do a sore relay race. That is just simply like picking things up off the ground, sitting in a chair, getting out of the chair, like reaching in the back seat for something i think that the getting out of the chair it shouldn't be like timed it should be judged on merit so like the noise that you make it up belly flop how many parts of your body crack right it's the belly flop you have three judges watch you get out of a chair and how like you know like the sounds the the angles um maybe you know touch your toes the sore the sore relay race would play and absolutely no stretching beforehand so it's just pure 100 your body at that time i my body now when i stand up it it makes cracks in places that aren't joints i don't know what's going on i think i have i think i've had like a sprained or a thumb for about three weeks now yeah but it's one of those things where i don't know what when it happened so i can't see a doctor because they'll be like what why is your thumb hurt and i think my best guess would be playing video games yeah yeah i don't that's an injury that's the only time i probably would have injured it.
Can you get carpal tunnel in places that aren't your wrist? I think my body has just gross carpal tunnel. Yeah.
I think as a podcast, we could beat pretty much any other podcast in a swimming relay. Are you sure about that? We showed some impressive skills.
Would it matter though about going straight? That would probably matter yeah like maybe maybe if we had uh an app where it's distance covered so if you veer off kind of like you did hank like three times in a row yeah no you looked like pat mahomes senior trying to drive yeah you you were you were a blind person in the in the in the water well yeah i couldn't see yeah but it was it was quite something but yeah we we're we're we're a water we're a water podcast maybe we should get more into the olympics next four years from now water dogs yeah we are the water dogs uh who have been eliminated they were the first team already stink they got eliminated like three weeks ago dude we got to figure out what's going on there we won a game after we got eliminated and our social team was like look at this we could do finally get a win it's like yeah that could have used that a month ago it was it was an embarrassment of a season as owners we don't tolerate that we don't like losing if me and big cat cared enough to be at the games we would be like arthur blank and we'd be down on the sidelines staying behind the coaches glaring at him yes uh so uh should we do some reads read some headlines because we have been at summer camp by the way thank you to Mountain Dew our wonderful sponsor Mountain Dew's the best we got off our ass this week with Mountain Dew uh the code red the Baja Blast the original I've been drinking the original non-stop such a delicious drink so Mountain Dew has this is one of those things where uh if you like seeing us do fun things and we can create fun content that's a little different, please support our sponsors. And our sponsors Mountain Dew and Mountain Dew is the best.
We've got a great, great video that's going to come up. I don't know when it's going to be out.
We haven't even taped it yet, but Huey is going to learn how to swim. Yes.
Huey famously, when we asked him if he could swim before surfing in the Pacific Ocean, said, I kind of can swim. I think he said, I think I can swim.
He said, I think I can swim. I haven't swum in seven or eight years, but I think I can swim.
Yeah. We know Huey's not a witch because he's going to sink.
Yes. Okay.
Quick read a headline. So we do have football tonight or Thursday night, but no one's playing.
Any of your guys starters playing? That's disrespectful to Lindenwood. Are you talking about college? No.
I'm talking about NFL. Because we do have college football, actual college football tonight.
Missouri, NC State, Kansas, Utah playing tonight. You're just off by an entire week.
Am I? Yes. God damn it.
Couldn't even be further off by a entire week. That's close, though.
God damn it. You're close.
Week zero is Saturday. Yeah, I know week zero is Saturday.
I thought we might get an appetizer on Thursday. No, that's week one.
Fuck. All right.
No, no starters are playing tonight. No starters playing tonight.
There's actually an interesting thing, though, about the Bears-Chiefs game. You know, no starters are playing tonight No starters playing tonight There's actually an interesting thing though About the Bears-Chiefs game No starters are playing I think on either side Right But the way that it's set up right now With TV rights in Kansas City You can't watch the game You can't stream it You can't watch it if you have cable You can't watch it on the local channel The only way you can watch the game in Kansas City Is if you have a TV with the bunny bunny ear antennas oh i thought you were going to say the only way you can watch the game is if you have a family member playing on the second or third team of the chiefs yeah that's another way that you yeah yeah that's you can definitely do it that way but yeah i just wonder if there's anybody in kansas city that's like we were for hard knocks that's gonna be like i've kept my bunny ears this whole time just for a moment like this fuck you guys i get to watch week three of the preseason yeah week three of the preseason what i mean it used to mean something yeah used to be starters all the way through the third quarter yeah it was a dress rehearsal back in our day uh okay so there's no college football tonight no college football that was a test that was a test yeah for everyone out there i hope hope no that.
Also, it would have been a funny test because this would have aired after those games had aired, if you were correct. Yeah.
You missed out. So you were double off.
Okay. You guys want to read the headlines real quick? Yeah.
Okay. Sources, Forenz suspended for QB recruiting.
So Kirk Kirk Forens is out for the week one game against Illinois State. This is just a funny story to me because the fact that he got in trouble for recruiting and it's Iowa is very funny.
That is very funny to me. He got suspended for doing such a bad job of cheating.
Yeah. I hope it was recruiting for a punter yeah i hope he went like a you know all expense paid trip so he did like a vacation in australia on the state of iowa's dime he stayed over at a punter's house yeah like harbaugh right so if he was suspended for qb recruiting so i guess he was trying to was there one specific guy he was going after? I don't know.

I can look up the story real quick.

We can go even deeper than a headline.

You ready for this?

Here we go. Iowa coach Kirk Ferentz and assistant John Budimer will be suspended one game

for violation related to the recruitment of transfer quarterback Cade McNamara.

He was on Michigan, and then he obviously got hurt last year.

He's going to be the starter this year.

So he must have been tampering maybe he must have been tampering during that season okay that's a good story uh new NWSL CBA drops draft increases salaries so um they're gonna try out the Mike Florio rule love that Which is what happens if there's no draft and it's just the free market.

I think that's a good idea.

Pure capitalism.

Yeah.

Just, yeah, let's do it.

I'm in for this.

What are the richest teams?

Who are the richest owners that are going to benefit from this?

Probably Los Angeles.

Doesn't LeBron, Serena, aren't they involved there?

Yep.

I would say like maybe the Spirit, the Gotham, the Red Stars, the Reign, the Royals, the racing Louisville FCs. I'm just naming these off the top of my head.
Yeah, I think the best way to treat this is just to say LeBron has ruined women's soccer. Yep.
That sounds like a good path forward. Okay.
Y back judge after criticism from little league world series coach so there was there was a story this is where we're at in the sports calendar right before football is the deadest time i actually think as much as we think july might be the deadest time you usually have like some some soccer tournaments going on we have baseball olympics yeah all-star game this might be the deadest week of the year, right before we get to the busy time. This is the fourth headline on ESPN right now.
This week is so dead that I mentally fast-forward an entire week. Yeah.
Yeah, you did. Next week.
Just erase it. So there was a controversy that I guess Aaron Judge big-leued the South Shore Little League coach, Bob Latterza.
I think this is the Staten Island team. And then everyone was like, no, he didn't big league them.
So, yeah, he said, Latterza said, how about turning around or waving to New York and the kids that think you're a hero? They're the ones who pay your salary. Fact.
The kids pay his salary. Also, wait, literally, he is big-leaguing them.
They're the little leagues. Yes.
And Aaron Judge plays in the major leagues. Yes.
And then the Yankees had to release a statement that said, Aaron Judge always acts with kindness and respect. The coach could learn a lot from him.
I love that. Yeah.
This is a great battle. Anytime you can work, you could learn a lot from somebody into love that yeah this is a great battle anytime you can work you could learn a lot from somebody into a sentence it's it's always you win that argument yeah um yeah aaron boone said not even gonna dignify latour's comments with the response aaron judges as good as it gets that's literally you responded but on the other hand i would like i would like aaron boone to show some of this fire that the little league coach shows yeah like the little league coach he he goes on the other hand, I would like Aaron Boone to show some of this fire that the Little League coach shows.
Yeah. Like the Little League coach, he goes on the attack against people.
It feels like Aaron Boone's always playing defense for his guys. Yeah.
He said, Judge said, I got no response for that. I'm not going to give him a response because it's about the kids.
Again, this is a response. This is what it's all about.
We got a chance to spend a lot of time with quite a few kids in Williamsport, make some great memories, had a great time in the game, you know, besides the loss. So I kind of want that to be the focus.
This is – I hope this keeps going on. Leturza's got to fire back.
Yeah, I mean, right now it sounds like Aaron Boone big-leaked him. Yeah, Leturza.
Leturza, you need – you're kind of on the – you're on the defense now. Let's see.
Ronaldo creates YouTube channel, breaks record. record this is kind of crazy what happened? he joined YouTube and got 8 million subscribers in like one second I think he's up to 12 now did he do like did he do a giveaway or anything? did he do like did he run he's not sure did he do the shot collar? did he do the shot collar or the lemon in his eye? muck bang that would do numbers what are you gonna say max never mind i think uh we'll get we'll get to it yeah we'll get to it we'll get to i think i think uh messi could dominate these numbers oh if he came out with a youtube channel yes easily by the way i had this thought about messi i don't know if i talked about on the podcast what's stopping the united states from just giving messi a u.s passport for the next World Cup? 21.3.
The fact that Messi wouldn't play for us? Are you sure? I'm pretty sure, yeah. Pocatino, Argentinian guy too.
Now our head coach. I also don't know if he'll play in the next World Cup.
He's getting a little old. He's getting old, but wouldn't you want him on the U.S.
team? Of course I would. I think Messi really likes Argentina.
What if we we gave him a shitload of money i don't know if that's legal or not but i still think messi like he's a god in argentina what would happen if he does that i'm just dreaming he loses god's death i'm just dreaming and i'm thinking outside the box and there's got to be somebody out there that's got money to burn and if you if you're jeff bezos give him like a billion dollars to play for the u.s. Passport.
I don't think Jeff Bezos cares about anything besides being rich, bald, and doing TRT. Yes, there are.
Allegedly. Is Jeff Bezos going to buy the Celtics? No.
Why did you say no so fast? Because I saw a report that said he wasn't interested. Oh, okay.
So I guess that's a good no. Good report.
Wouldn't you want him to buy the Celticsics i think so yeah i don't i want to buy the bears throwing out this new stadium shit though i don't i'm not a fan of that yeah the amazon touchless stadium i don't think the that'd be cool if it was virtual fighting boston doesn't need a new stadium that's just like an owner would want a new stadium yeah jeff bezos would just build a new stadium because he can't but don't need that. Listen, I'm fully supporting Jeff Bezos buying any team because it goes back to my long-time take that if you're that rich and you don't own a sports team, you're a fucking weirdo.
Yeah, it's the only thing you should want. The point of getting money is that you can own a sports team.
It's the only thing that actually costs the amount of money that you have. You know what I like there's once you have the billions and billions jeff bezos has nothing there's nothing left to purchase yeah you want you want to own the best toy in the world and the best toy is an nfl team um okay uh jason mcintyre said simmons was doing that to get his name in the headlines to get bezos name in the headlines simmons's name in the headlines because he's like this is what uh mcintyre said on coward show he was basically alluding that bezos was or simmons floated that out there just to get his name in the headlines because he's going through some type of contract dispute or something which i don't believe that but simmons is going through a contract dispute with spotify wait so he just so he's saying that simmons is going through a contract dispute with Spotify.

Wait, so he's saying that Simmons is going through a contract dispute,

so Simmons decided to talk about the Celtics for once?

Right.

He threw out an unfounded theory about the Celtics,

and this raised a lot of red flags.

Sounds like he was just doing his job.

Did Bill Simmons do a potential draft of Boston Celtics owners,

and then everybody was like, this is unusual.

Yeah.

What's his angle?

What's wrong with him?

is Sounds like he was just doing his job. Did Bill Simmons do a potential draft of Boston Celtics owners? And then everybody was like, this is unusual.
Yeah. What's his angle? What's wrong with him? Is he sick? Okay.
So Bezos maybe, but probably not. I think maybe.
My favorite Bezos. He has no plans on purchasing the team.
He should start the plans. Yeah.
Start the plans or buy the Bears. Yeah.
He probably wants to buy a football team. The rumor was that Dan Snyder would not sell to him, even though he was the highest bidder for the commanders, because he doesn't like Bezos because of the reporting the Washington Post did on the commanders.
Also, if you're a billionaire like Bezos, it's probably easier to buy a team that's not in complete disrepair and take that over like the Celtics. Right.
Like you've got a winner, a proven winner already. So that seems like I'm connecting a lot of dots here, but I'm going to dispute that report and say he's not done.
No, he's not done being interested. He's not done.
He's still interested. He's definitely still interested.
My favorite story about Jeff Bezos is that, you remember when the mistress came out? Yeah. When he got that divorce a couple years ago? He got caught having a mistress because he was hanging out he was at some business conference with mbs the leader of saudi arabia and mbs was like let me get your number so that we can text later he gets his number mbs sends him a text and has like a link on his like thought about you check this link out bezos clicks on the link now saudi arabia hacked into bezos's phone oh no and so they released they found out all the dirt on them and they released all the information about bezos that's fucked up yeah you guys seen the all these bigger friends that just want to send you links i know what happened with zuckerberg have you just seen him yeah he's he's trying to get into his swag era.
Which again, I respect that too. Like if you're, it's the buying a team or if you're a very rich guy, you have to essentially do enough performance enhancing, do some kind of weird Navy SEAL, CrossFit, Krav Maga, or whatever the hell it's called to try to wipe away the fact that you were a nerd.
Yeah, you do that. You also just put yourself in positions to make yourself feel uncomfortable because everything about your life is super comfortable.
So you go on like two week long retreats where you don't do anything but drink water. You just try to make yourself feel like you're poor again.
Yeah. In order to tap into some like deep yearning missing piece that you have inside.
Or when Zuckerberg got choked out, but then had to release a statement saying he did not get choked out. He did not in fact get choked out.
I also would love to interview the guy who choked him out because I feel like he didn't choke him out as hard as he would any other person. You think he let up at the end? Yeah, of course he did.
If he's getting paid by Zuck, he definitely let up a little. That wasn't a full choke.
So actually, now that we're talking this out, Zuckerberg got choked out in a half choke yeah i i also think the billionaires sometimes they if you get that much wealth and power you have this deep dark instinct that takes over that makes you want to be an evil billionaire and take over the world and potentially destroy it and so you just have to do everything you can to like steer yourself away from that instinct yeah they're all evil they're all evil we got Iernie lockwood oh a little little rose avatar hank over here yeah eat the rich like that they're all evil yeah because hank thinks that anyone anybody that's worked that hard to become a billionaire is an idiot because they didn't take any vacations right but now they do take ultimate vacations um that was kind of all the headlines so it's ronaldo and aaron judge fighting with little leaguers i just pulled up cbs sports purdy leads young qbs on contenders i like this as a as a topic where you can rank purdy number one but not have it be number one. Like if you do the age thing, so you can leave out Mahomes, Allen, Burrow, all those other guys.
Like who would you start a franchise with right now? The answer is still Patrick Mahomes. Yeah, Patrick Mahomes.
I was going to say CJ Stroud if you're doing age, under 25. Oh, I do Jaden personally.
Yeah, I'd like to be Caleb Williams. I want to see him play in the NFL.
I'm being realistic. I'm not going to get crazy.
Okay, anything else? Will, did you just fart? Hank just farted. You just farted? No.
Yes, Hank definitely farted. You gave me eye contact and farted.
No, I didn't. Yeah, you did.
You looked at me and farted. You're sitting in a wood chair.
What does that have to do with anything? It makes a louder noise. Like, it was a very clear fart.
I'll have to check the tapes. Yeah, no, Hank, you farted before the podcast started.
You just looked at me and farted. And that was the exact same sound.
We're going to check the tapes you're real comfortable huh i just had a lot of i don't know a lot of cell blue was that it oh now you're mad at us for acknowledging that you farted on our podcast you're the one who stared me in the eyes and farted like during the podcast. There are people that are.
There's a million people listening to this right now. And you're just like, fuck them.
I didn't mean to fart. Slept out.
Control your sphincter. Oh, man.
Hank. Okay.
Hank had a lot of nitrous this morning. What? Loose it your butthole.
What's nitrous? Whippets. kanye uh all right let's do would kanye do like oh yeah thousand dollars of nitrous a month nitrous and bince and then there started this uh debate online like why isn't nitrous just legal and everyone replied because it actually burns your brain cells yeah like it's actually the one, like to get high with nitrous, it's because you have a lack of oxygen to your brain and your brain is dying.
Oh yeah, Kanye got that hookup. So there's a very funny text thread that was going back and forth between Kanye, his dentist, and I guess his old boss.

His boss, or his dentist, have you seen his Instagram page? Yes.

Dr. Thomas Connolly? Yes.
He's a

jacked up dentist with head

and face tattoos.

He says, this needs to be a long term goal.

Get recreational nitrous legalized.

Meanwhile, we mastered the delivery

system with a two year head start.

And then Kanye's old business partner said,

Surely you're joking.

Prolonged misuse of nitrous causes birth defects.

Problems with B12.

Spinal cord will disintegrate.

Why would anyone want to introduce another drug to an already depressed,

addicted, demoralizing, apathetic population of dopamine slaves?

Then Kanye follows that text with,

Can I have the nitrous today?

Spinal cord disintegrate.

What is it?

I think that's got to be one of the worst side effects for a drug for anything yeah yeah your spinal cord will disintegrate it's pretty important turn into dust yeah uh okay let's do let's do our uh college football picks real quick it is not week one. It is week zero.
Next week is week one, but let's get them in right now. DraftKings, you can bet them all on the DraftKings Sportsbook app.
So we've been tasked with a national champion Heisman or conference winner. I will let you go first, PFT.
Okay. I do apologize for thinking that there were week zero Thursday games when I was looking at the app.
I got a national champion pick. I have two, but I'm going to tell you.
Two can't win it. I have one that I already bet on, but I have one that I like more than the one that I bet on.
So I'm going to give you a brand new one. Okay.
The Texas Longhorns. Okay.
I like the Texas Longhorns. What are their odds uh their odds are i believe 850 okay eight and a half to one texas is back we might see arch manning if uh if youers has any issues but i think that youers is still obviously one of the best quarterbacks in college football and uh their hardest game is georgia they have that at home and with uh the expanded playoffs they to go to Michigan, too.
They have to go to Michigan, but I'm thinking Michigan's a big question mark this year. They're still going to be good.
They'll be good, but there's a lot different at Michigan from the national championship team. So I think Texas will also benefit from, obviously, the expanded playoff if they do lose one of those tough games.
Still very much in yes all right hank your conference champion pick i'm gonna go with the uh the conference our local conference the big 10 little little long shot it's more than a little long shot one two three four they're the ninth this is ninth of whatever team. Nine out of ten in the Big Ten.
Washington Huskies plus 8,000. Plus 8,000.
Okay, 80 to one. Damn.
Okay. Hungry dog.
All right, I'm going to go with my Heisman, and this is one that you're going to bet, and we're either going to have great value or was the worst bet ever within the first week, which is what I like to do with my Heisman picks. I'm going to go with Miller Moss, USC.
They play LSU week one. I think it's actually the Sunday game.
So it's going to be a standalone game. If he comes out in balls, it's right now 35 to one.
It will be half that price if he comes out in balls. I also am high on USC this year simply because they got rid of Alex Grinch, the worst defensive coordinator of all time.
So they will be better on defense. If they're better on defense, the offense doesn't have to press as much.
They could maybe have a better record. Miller Moss, Heisman Trophy winner.
And guess who just churns out Heisman Trophy winners? A guy named old Stinking Riley. Stinking Riley.
Now, where's that first game? I think it's neutral, yeah. I think it's either in – It might be in Louisiana or New Orleans, which would not be neutral.
But I think this might be the Camping World game where they play in Orlando. Wasn't that stadium built during the war or something?? Is there something weird with the Camping World Stadium? I mean, just based on U.S.
history, it was probably built during a war. Yeah, that's true.
Hold on. I'm going to find that because it's actually in Vegas.
It's in Vegas. No, there's a weird because, you know, the fact that Orlando has a football stadium makes no sense, really.
Right. Like Bortles.
Well, no, but they have their own football stadium. Camping World is just a neutral football stadium.
For just this type of occasion, yeah. It opened in 1936 as Orlando Stadium has also been known as the Tangerine Bowl and Florida Citrus Bowl.
1936? That's crazy that Orlando... If you had asked me when orlando was created i'd be like i guess whenever disney yeah disney so orlando built this it was that during the great depression was that like a uh a new deal i think so fdr is like i'm going to give money to build the hoover dam uh we're going to uh do a lot of mining and bridge construction tennessee and we're going to build a football stadium in Orlando.
Yeah, so that Florida State can play LSU week one sometime. Save the economy.
Yeah. Yeah, it was.
It was under the Great Depression. Was it really? Stadium was built immediately.
Yeah, it was built for that reason. Capacity of 8,900 is Orlando Stadium.
First college football bowl game was played on January 1st, 1947. That's not actually the first college football bowl game.
I did a bad job of reading that sentence. So Miller for Heisman.
Yeah. He's got a good Heisman name.
He's got a good Heisman name. Lincoln Riley, USC.
USC no longer playing in the Pac-12. They got some big primetime games.
They're playing like Penn State. I believe they – I don't know if they play Ohio State.
I know they play Wisconsin, but they start the season with LSU. Again, this is a bet that if he plays well against LSU, it's going to go from 35-1 to 20-1 overnight.
Okay. We're going to do a bunch of college football previews next week, by the way, so everyone get ready for that we we will make sure that we stuff your brain with college football previews those are coming uh let's do our mount rushmore our mount rushmore so we are going to do our mount rushmore it's brought to you by our friends at mountain dew you know what we all need to get more of off our ass with bold flavors and refreshing citrus kick.
Mountain Dew will get you off your ass and have you feeling like you're on an actual mountain, a mountain where the weather is always perfect. Your friend's ready to hang in a day of epic proportions awaits.
We love Mountain Dew. We've been playing.
We've been in the lake. We've been doing softball.
We've been doing rock climbing. Mountain Dew is the best.
I love best i love the original mountain dew that's my personal favorite so thank you to mountain dew we've had an awesome time at camp this week it's been so much fun and it's in big thanks to mountain dew for sponsoring it and getting it all together so go do the dew original is the way to go hank's a baja blast guy uh i you're a Code Red guy. I love Code Red.
We got all three here. Absolutely fantastic soda.
Okay, so Mount Rushmore of Orange Things. We have Max in first last week.
We have on Wednesday I was second. And then we have a tie for third and fourth.
So we have to figure out what we're going to do about the tie.

Yeah, I have an idea.

Okay.

My idea is that it rolls over.

It's like in golf.

If you tie a hole in like a skins game.

Okay. So it rolls over to this Mount Rushmore.

And then between Hank and myself, whoever finishes ahead of the other person,

they get the third place points from Wednesday. And the other person gets fourth place.
Okay, I like that idea. I'll throw a counterpoint out there.
I think we should give third place to the person who didn't try to meddle with the vote. Who tried to meddle with the vote? Hank? Max? Did anyone try to meddle with the vote? Charity.
Yeah. Yeah, PFT was so charitable online.
I almost want to just give it to him as he really inspired me. Well, if he was so charitable, he'd give it to you.
That's very charitable. PFT tweeted in the middle of the vote.
So the vote had not been decided yet? No, no. And it was a neck and neck race.
He said, I will give an autographed Game Ward Camp Barclay hoodie signed by myself and Big Cat. No one else.
I didn't agree to that. Somebody asked to person who votes in this mount rushmore poll hank you didn't read the quote tweet part somebody had asked send proof of voting and read the rest of it hashtag rock the vote no you you left that apart you can vote for whoever you want it will not affect who gets the hoodie correct so there were plenty people that sent replies that voted for that voted for you.
No, I was like, damn, Gifty is so charitable. For Max.
You know what's disgusting is that Hank thinks that the only reason that somebody can do something nice is because they're secretly trying to do something wrong. I've been literally trying to do something wrong.
I wasn't trying to do anything wrong. Let's just be clear here.
You were 100% sure. You've chosen the winner then, right? You've never done that.
Oh, I have have to there's a zero percent chance you send the fucking hoodie to anyone i've done giveaways before i'm gonna send the hoodie hank why don't you pick who gets it okay how come you didn't let hank get to sign it well because the person asked good question for one okay the person said hey big cat pft can i get one of those camp barst That's why I said me and Big Cat will sign. Did you think about waiting until after the Rushmore poll ended? No.
Good question. I was just walking up to the building here.
We were getting ready to eat lunch, and I took my phone out, happened to check Twitter, saw that tweet. Saw we were in a neck-and-neck race.
I didn't know that we were in a neck-and-neck race at the time. It was actually a very close amount of Rushmore.
I think Big Cat had 23%. Hank and I both ended at 21.7%.
Crazy. I don't think we've ever had a tie like that.
And also after I put that out, Hank went up from like 20.3% to 20. Yeah, you weren't paying attention to the vote.
I did when we sat down for lunch and Hank came to the table and he was just looking. I mean, he said, how's your lunch? But I knew what he meant.
Yeah. We may need the commissioner to make it.
Yeah. I mean, listen, I'm just going to say, in fairness, if Hank had done this, I would have gone after Hank.
So I have to say that I think that's bullshit. I didn't do anything, though.
I was super charitable. I was trying to be a nice guy.
You're charity shaming. I'm not.
I've been complimenting you the whole time uh what are the official standings right now uh it is what depends yeah max has 69 points i have 57 points and then pft and hank are three points apart so they'll either be uh it either be there'd be two points apart or they would be four points apart Or we could roll it over into this Mount Rushmore and whoever wins this one gets the points from the tie. All right.
Hank gets it and PFT loses one point. Okay.
I get subtracted a point? Wait, you get subtracted a point? Wow. I don't think you should get subtracted a point, Commissioner.
Well, it did break the rules. Commissioner, I don't think you should get subtracted the point.
Wait, wait, wait, memes. When Hank explicitly broke the rules and posted what his picks were during Mount Rushmore, he didn't get subtracted the point.
Yeah, that's a bad precedent to set. It should just be.
Well, it wasn't a pick. It was a honorable mention.
No, no. He posted his picks.
Coldplay. No, I posted it.
Coldplay. He posted Coldplay.
And he posted Pikachu. Can you see memes in the back end who got the most votes?

Wait, wait, wait.

Hank, did I push people to vote for a certain person?

Push people to the vote.

Pull it up.

You're anti-democracy.

I'm encouraging people to vote.

I don't care who you vote for.

Just participate in democracy.

Memes, just see if you can see the exact amount of votes.

Is that possible?

And Hank, I'm giving them the shirt, literally the shirt off my back right now. I mean, you knew what you were doing.
I had no idea what I was doing. Yeah, you do.
I thought college football started tonight. I walked up to PFT and go, damn, PFT, you're so charitable.
And he goes, well, it's not even going to matter. He instantly just got defensive.
And it actually helped Hank. But you weren't watching the poll? No, I saw the poll when I tweeted it out afterwards.
And then... Wait, how would you know? You saw before you tweeted it? No, after.
I just said after I tweeted it out. So how would you know it helped him? Because you didn't see it before.
Good question. Well, it was right after I tweeted it.
I looked. Like half a second later.
But you hadn't looked, yeah. You hadn't looked.
Half a second later, I looked at it. You hadn't looked before that? What inspired you to start being charitable yesterday? I do a second later.
But you hadn't looked, yeah. Half a second later, I looked at it.
You hadn't looked before that.

What inspired you to start being charitable yesterday?

I do a lot of charity.

I just don't talk about it all the time.

So what inspired you to talk about it?

The real charity is, well, because somebody asked me publicly,

so I responded publicly, and I care about our listeners.

I don't care who you vote for in Mount Rushmore season.

Let's be clear here.

You have choices to make, and you're going to make those choices.

Choose who matters to you, who speaks to you,

as a representative of your thoughts during Mount Rushmore season

on this podcast.

I'm going to make, and you're going to make those choices. Choose who matters to you, who speaks to you as a representative of your thoughts during Mount Rushmore season on this podcast.

I just want people to take an active role in democracy, and I want you to know that

your voice matters.

You can't see the actual amount of votes, memes?

I don't want to.

All right.

Ashley at A Mangled.

And who did she vote for?

Max.

Okay. Ashley Mangled.
A Mang't make them do things to get free things i didn't make them do anything i said if you're going to vote i want to encourage that behavior voting's good i just know i'm trying to be fair here that if hank pulled this move we'd be fucking he would literally be on trial for an hour and a half which you i think would agree with pft i don't know what you're talking about i'm trying to do a good thing and ashley this is for you it's a nice shirt it is a nice shirt are you talking about the tie-dye one are you talking about can you see it look good yesterday do you want this shirt he's still pulling it too small for me you want this shirt i'm sorry i don't think pft should lose a point but we'll get to it but we'll get to it by the end of it. This round, Rushmore? All right.
Here. I also wanted to say shout-out Carl Hamm, who made a very, very funny Mount Rushmore graphic summing up all of our picks this year.
I'll just read it real quick. This is the first round.
Max, good pick PFT,

good pick,

big cat,

good pick Hank making a third round pick.

Then second round is max.

Good pick PFT,

third round pick big cat pick one,

one for people age 35 to 45.

Hank,

something nobody even considered.

Third round is max.

Good pick PFT,

something hyper specific that wins the votes of 50 people yeah but they vote hard big cat a niche sports reference that nobody else was going to take hank something that hank has to explain as to why it fits the category then the fourth round is max good pick slash italian pft it fits the category but it's just weird. Big Cat Wrestling or kid-related, Hank, a reasonable pick.

That's really good.

Pretty much nailed every single one.

That's our show.

All right, so we're going to do the Mount Rushmore of Orange Things.

And we don't know the standings right now,

but I guess we'll know at the end of this Mount Rushmore.

So who's first? Orange Things. PFT's first.
Okay. Wait, who's second? Me? You, Hank third, Max four.
Got it. And it goes four, three, two, one in points unless there's a tie.
Right. Or someone messed with the voting.
Yes. Okay.
Yeah. Never mind.
No, go ahead. So Hank got the point.
Do we agree with that? We don't know what the point is. I don't think memes can find the actual votes, can he? On the desktop, it breaks down to the decimal point, and we were tied at 21.7 to 21.7.
I think we should be able to get into the analytics of the actual post. Got it.
Can we get the overnight votes? Huh? Can we get the time stamp votes of when PFT sent out his tweet? Oh, yeah. I was winning before that.
That's what I'm saying. I thought you said you didn't check before.
Well, right after. Exactly.
I'm just saying. I was up.
I helped Hank. You'm saying you haven't checked before i i did not before but i've learned a valuable lesson today that's don't help because he'll always accuse you of of doing it i have done nothing but compliment you for your charitable actions fact efficient and he did call me dr charity this morning dr charity yeah he said when we were asked we're in the bunk this morning he's like what what should we do for mount rush where he's like, things.
Charity this morning. Dr.
Charity. He said when we were in the bunk this morning, he's like,

what should we do for Mount Rushmore?

He's like, things that you give to charity.

Okay.

PFT, your first pick.

Okay.

1-1.

I'm going to go with buffalo wings.

Okay.

Good pick.

Thank you.

My favorite food in the world. Hank, Max, anything to say to that? That's orange.
Yep. It's orange.
It is orange. Okay.
So it's my pick. One, one.
I'll go with the, maybe the most. One, two.
I'll go with maybe the most important thing ever created, although it wasn't really created. Maybe it was created.
I'll go with fire. All right, that is my second.
Fire is, you need fire for everything. For buffalo wings.
You can't have you, buffalo wings without fire. You can use an electric fryer to heat it up.
But yeah, no, it's fine. Electric fryer.
Electric fryer. Yeah.
And then where does the electricity come from? Fire. There's just a big plant with fire happening.
A lightning that struck a kite. But how do they get electricity? From the lightning.
Fire. Lightning struck a key.
Fire. Fire's good.
Listen, fire's a great pick. I had it as my second overall.
Okay, Hank.

I watched Hank put together his list. I think he has four picks.

I'm going to go with Basketball.

Okay. Basketball's a good pick.
Had that on my list.

Yes, very orange.

Thank you. Good pick.

Thank you.

Okay.

I'm going to go with Mac and Cheese.

Sometimes white. Mac and Cheese? Mac and cheese.
That's interesting. What kind of mac and cheese are we talking about here? Just plain boxed mac.
You can say boxed mac and cheese. That's interesting.
Are you talking about the blue box? It's pretty yellow. Boxed mac and cheese.
Yeah, that's yellow. Orange.
Pretty yellow. No, I mean, Kraft Mac and cheese is definitely orange.
Yeah. I think it's yellow.
It's definitely orange. There is yellow Mac and cheese.
There's white Mac and cheese. Yeah, white Mac and cheese.
What color would you guys say that is? That's orange. This is orange? I believe that would be orange.
You think that's orange? Have you ever seen the powder? Yeah, the powder's very orange. Yeah, it's about as orange as orange.
Very orange. And then I'm going to go with an orange.
Oh. Okay.
Okay. You want to fight me on that one? Good pick.
His orange orange. He just plays the one like the one word answers yeah his graphic always looks

better he's hacked it okay hank all right pft was a little too specific i'm gonna go with something that you know is more universal hot sauce oh good pick hot sauce is orange yeah i don't think we've had this discussion before not hot is red. The most popular brand of hot sauce, I would say, is...
Frank's. And what's the word that comes after that? Orange hot.
What hot sauces are orange? Buffalo. All of them.
Buffalo sauce is orange. Buffalo sauce is orange.
Because you mix it with the butter.

Correct.

Because you mix it with butter.

Butter and vinegar.

It's red and yellow put together.

Yeah.

Good pick, though.

It is a good pick if it were orange.

Wait, did Hank just take buffalo sauce?

I'm going to go with goldfish.

Oh, good answer.

Would you like to take a specific goldfish that might help?

Nope.

Oh, okay. Because I had Larry the goldfish on there.
Are you talking about the snack? Yeah, I'm talking about the fish. The snack.
Oh, I had Larry the goldfish on there. Did you want Larry the goldfish? I don't know.
No, gonna fart again all right he's gonna fart again okay uh i can't believe this lasted all the way here uh i'm gonna go with a tiger yeah tiger's fucking dominant i had that very orange good pick very good pick very uh awesome animal okay uh i'm glad that Do we do? I just remember we did do this mountain rush more of hot sauce or the hot sauce thing was the spirited debate. It was just us debating it.
Yeah. Fair that you were very wrong about.
Yeah. Because you we had the same conversation.
Yeah. Yeah.
It didn't work your way. Okay.

Never does.

Okay.

PFT.

You have two picks.

I got two picks.

Glad this one lasted as long as it did.

Cheez-Its.

Mmm.

Cheez-Its.

Love Cheez-Its.

The hot and spicy.

The big Cheez-Its.

Extra toasty.

Reduce fat.

What are you going to say, Hank?

When you took goldfish. Yeah.
Good pick. Thank you.
Okay. What color is the box? Red.
I didn't say cheese at boxes. We might have to do the Hank gets third place and PFT minus one point because he's just blowing this draft.
Hank's like an animal. How am I blowing this draft? I mean, because you...
I didn't take hot sauce. Yeah.
Okay. You're doing fine.
And I couldn't pick something. You're like an animal that doesn't have a real defense mechanism.
Like, you don't spit venom. You don't have a stinger.
Just when you get upset and frustrated, you shut down and next pick that would have been so great if you fart yeah i was hoping you were gonna fart uh all right next pick he's a skunk yeah i'm gonna go with uh hooters uniform shorts okay pretty great shorts no this is this is the part of the draft where he gets the 50 people are you saying you don't like the hooters uniform shorts no you're no this is i don't know if i'm looking at the shorts you personally i don't think i go to hooters to look at the shorts you do look at the shorts sometimes i'm going to hooters for something else the wings which you already which i already have yeah that's good pick yeah uh okay uh this is what pft just picked let me see yeah yeah it's great they're great shorts okay i'll go with it's my pick right is it yeah i'll go with fall leaves orange fall leaves okay nice crunchy leaf some about with fall leaves. Orange fall leaves.

Nice crunchy leaf.

Something about the fall.

Football.

Love it.

Hank?

Good pick.

Thank you.

I will go with another food.

Okay, nice. Or should I go with an animal? i think you should just decide whatever you want to do go nemo finding nemo oh so you went goldfish goldfish goldfish back to back hey i had nemo on my list that's awesome that's good so you know it's really good both me that's why I didn't want to take Larry.
That's why you didn't want to take Larry because you're like, I already got this covered. Okay, Max, your last two.
I know. Well, I'm going to go with the orange Tic Tac.
Oh, okay. I think that's one of the worst Tic Tacs.
There's only two Tic Tacs. No, that's not true.
Is there three Tic Tacs? There's there's probably like seven tic tacs i like the orange tic tac it was like that was a staple for me growing up as a kid you got the spearmint you got the wintergreen you got the uh the fruit colors that are like mixed in you got orange those it's like uh i don't know multiple i think orange and white white are the two Tic Tac colors. Those are the two OGs.
Yeah, I got to say, I never was a Tic Tac guy. It's like, who cares? Or a Tic Tac.
Have some gum. Tic Tacs.
And also that you walk around. Tic Tacs are supposed to make your breath fresh, and you picked one that doesn't.
Yeah, true. Tic Tacs are candy.
The only benefit for a Tic-tac is to make it your math you're there it's i can't speak it's not candy yeah tic-tacs are no they're breathments the orange tic-tac is just a candy but that's just a shitty can no it's a good there's no that's a if we do shane is just let me ask you ferociously right now i don give a fuck. I already won this stupid game.
Did you say Shane, the guy who's never had McDonald's? You want to keep debating with the king of Rushmore? I've already won the whole game. I want to just, I'm standing up for candy.
If we did a candy Mount Rushmore and we each got 10 picks each, so that's 40 candies. Orange Tic Tacs still wouldn't be picked.
I'm saying orange. Okay.
Pick another orange candy. It's the lowest tier candy.
Pick another orange candy. I might.
It's not my pick, buddy. Okay.
You want me to do it right now?

No, because that's not how it works.

Actually, yeah, I don't even care.

Syracuse Orange.

Last pick.

You're the king of Mount Rushmore, so I don't really.

No, I thought about going with another school, but they're literally called the Syracuse Orange.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

My last pick, I'm going to go with the orange hairs on weed. That's a great pick.
That's a great pick. That's when you know you have good weed.
That is the kind bud. That's a great pick.
No, the Good Bud. Kind Bud.
Kind Bud's not good.

What?

In my day, Hank, Kind Bud was the best.

Mids, KB, and then the good stuff.

GB?

KB.

KB is Kind Bud.

Yeah, that's like a step above mid.

What?

Kind Bud is like not that great.

God damn it.

It used to be the best.

You'd be like, yo, you got mid, you got KB, you got that. Orange-haired weed.
Okay. If you get a nug of weed and it's got orange hairs all over it.
I think it's a great pick. I think it's a great pick.
You just laughed pretty hard. What? Well, I laughed because it was very niche, but it was a great pick.
Who doesn't like weed? I'm telling you it's a great pick, Hank. That was Hank's pick that kind of fits the category, but he has to explain why.
That's crazy. It's literally whatever.
I'm telling you. It's the fucking word.
Every fucking pick is a great pick. I'm saying it's a great pick.
It literally fits the category perfectly. Oh, my God.
Hank, I'm telling you it's a great pick. I was laughing because it's something I never thought of.
That's funny. Thanks.
You don't believe that, eh? You don't. Yeah, he's so mad at me.
All right, my last pick. I'm going to take Snooki.
Okay. All right.
She's orange. You could have.
Patrick Mahomes. She's orange.
Yeah, I know. I could have gone DT.
You could have gone. DT.
But then it's like, is he, you know.

You would win half.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Who knows?

Not to get political snooky.

Lip cap.

God, you're lashing out extra hard today.

And I've had your back.

From the start of this Mount Rushmore, I was the only one trying to prosecute PFT for you.

I wasn't trying to prosecute PFT.

I've been commenting on this charity the whole time. I laughed at the red hairs, orange hairs, excuse me.
There are red hairs in me too. They might be more red than orange.
I actually initially said yes to the hot sauce. All you want to do is just fart in my face, give me eye contact.
All right, Piazza, your last pick. Okay.

Last pick.

I think I might just run the football here.

Do something easy, simple, definitely orange.

I'm going to go with pumpkins.

Pumpkins.

Make great pie out of pumpkins.

I don't like pumpkin pie.

I've never been a pumpkin pie guy.

Oh, pumpkin pie is delicious.

I like pumpkin pie.

It's great.

Yeah.

Pumpkin pie is good.

I mean, you like orange Tic Tacs. You like everything.
Orange Tic Tacs. yeah pumpkin pie is good and you like orange tic tacs you like

everything orange tic tac pumpkin pie is fire it's a staple yeah in the autumn yeah you think fall you think thanksgiving there's pumpkin pie uh you also get the jack-o'-lanterns you get halloween decorations yeah i'm gonna go with pumpkins okay good mount rush where we got uh honorable mentions I had a lot here

Mountain Dew Live Wire

Peaches

Yams

I'd take a pumpkin over a yam, though, I think. Tennessee Orange.
Tennessee Orange had that as well. Texas Burnt Orange.
Tennessee Clares, though. Don't like Texas Burnt Orange.
Cheese balls. Cheese balls are good.
Cheese balls are the best. Street potato fries.
Yep. The Sun The sun Yeah, sometimes I kind of want someone to take the sun I thought about that But sunsets are orange But someone took the sun Correct Correct You can't It can't be both Correct The precedent was set I agree Yeah Cheese Cheese Sunset probably I almost took mac and cheese and cheddar cheese.
I almost just did a full cheese. You're just running up the score.
You're on the 10-yard line. I'm not going to lie.
I think I had like five things written down. I'm done.
You're resting your starters. Well, I don't need it.
By me getting first place, it ruins the rest of the draft for the two of you

that need those points.

Not really.

I don't need the points.

It's so nice anyway.

I'll probably just give me some at the end of the day.

Can you move your mic a little bit?

Tabby Cat?

What about the Tabby Cat?

The orange Tabby?

Yeah, the one from what was the show?

Garfield.

Morning Edition?

I had Garfield.

What was the show with Coach Taylor where he got the newspaper from the next day's newspaper.

Friday Night Lights.

Is that Coach?

No.

I think it was Morning Edition.

No.

First Edition.

It was an orange tabby cat that would bring him the newspaper, tomorrow's newspaper today.

Oh, I didn't see that.

Home Improvement.

It was a good show.

I'm re-watching Friday Night Lights.

Wow.

Golden Retrievers.

That golden?

Yeah, that's golden.

It's kind of orange.

Literally in the name.

Didn't you...

You said this...

We're doing honorable mentions.

Okay.

Hank said Golden Retrievers for yellow.

Nah, I didn't.

Kyle Chandler.

Yeah, you did.

Yeah, you did.

Why are you so grumpy right now, dude?

Oh, Fox is...

What's wrong?

We may be Nah, I didn't. Kyle Chandler.
Yeah, you did. Yeah, you did.
Why are you so grumpy right now, dude?

Oh, foxes. What's wrong?

We missed foxes.

Yeah, foxes.

Foxes are good.

We saw some of it.

We saw a fox, yeah.

Damn.

What?

We missed foxes.

Early edition.

Early edition.

We missed foxes.

You're on one.

Orioles.

Yeah, Orioles.

They're really cool if you ever see an Oriole They're awesome yeah good birds I thought you were talking about the baseball team Garfield I was looking up the show that is completely irrelevant that I was trying to figure out Heathclcliff. It came out 20 years ago.
Monarch Butterflies. Yeah.
Orange County. Orange County.
Yeah. You're not an OC guy? Orange County Choppers.
Yeah. Which is in New York.
In Laguna Beach. You can't.
I know. That's crazy.
You can't? You can't smoke cigs if you live in Laguna Beach.

Like even in your house?

No.

Your neighbors can report you.

In your house?

Yes. If you smoke outside or you smoke in your house and the smoke wafts into your neighbor's property and they smell it, they can call the cops on you.

That's insane.

Yeah.

Wait, weed or?

Cigs.

That's crazy.

There's another orange political guy not to get political.

Yeah, we were saying that.

DT.

Frank Ocean, Chanel Orange.

Oh, yeah.

Channel Orange.

You say Chanel Orange.

Is it Channel Orange or Chanel?

Was I wrong?

Probably not.

It's probably me.

You're definitely right.

Always are.

Didn't Apple rank that album as like the second best album of all time? Yeah. That was bullshit.
Oh, man. Hank, I can't with you right now.
I literally can't. You can't exist.
Did you have a conclusion? Nope. Okay, so what is your ruling? Hank gets third and PFT gets fourth.
Or his original ruling you guys just didn't accept. You have a commissioner and it's like, all right, make a ruling.
But you didn't get subtracted at a point when you broke an explicit rule. Don't bring it up to me.
I broke an unwritten rule. Wait, so you're admitting you broke a rule? No, that's what I'm being prosecuted for is breaking an unwritten rule.
You were prosecuted for breaking a written rule that you invented, and you didn't get subtracted. But I didn't break the actual rule.
Yes, you did. You guys just decided I did.
No, you did. It was actually your rule that broke.
All right, so memes, what's the final ruling? Hank gets a point. Hank gets the two points.
Yeah. Okay.
But PFT gets an official warning. A warning.
Okay. And next time it's negative 10.
Negative 10. How long does he have to send the sweatshirt? Because that should be part of it.
Oh, good point. You have one week.
Wow. I can make that.
Huey, can you please send that sweatshirt? No, no, you have to do it. Okay.
You're so in the. All right, Big Cat, I need you to sign this sweatshirt.

Happily.

Okay, so then the updated standings going into this Mount Rushmore would be

PFT has 48, Hank has 46.

All right.

So it's very close.

Anyone's game.

This is why we do Mount Rushmore season.

It's fun, isn't it?

So much fun.

I'm having a blast.

Yeah.

I don't want to do the challenge again,

not because I'm afraid of doing the challenge. I don't want to do the challenge again not because i'm i'm like

afraid of doing the challenge i don't want to do it for a second year in a row what challenge the baseball challenge oh no that's for dingers only yeah your brain oh this is for a different challenge yeah hank and i lost about rushmore last year yeah yeah yeah you'll get you'll get up to speed Listen we can't record before 10 a.m.

That just doesn't work

Okay let's He'll get up to speed. Hank is a sass.

Listen, we can't record before 10 a.m.

That just doesn't work.

Okay, let's do our interviews.

We got Will Compton.

He's brought to you by our friends at Mountain Dew.

Yeah, I know.

No, I know.

PFC just made another inaccurate.

But we started recording before 10 a.m. Before 10, but Hank is being a real bitch.

I don't know what you're saying to me there.

I thought you were going to it's 10.30. We got to hurry up.
You were just correcting him. Can we wrap up this little podcast thing that you're trying to do? Okay.
I never said that. Let's do another Mount Rumble.
I'm down. Just for fun.
I'm down. Before we get to Will Compton, Mountain Dew.
We're here at Barst barstool summer camp thanks to mountain dew you know we all need to do uh to get more of off our ass with bold flavors and refreshing citrus kick mountain dew will get you off your ass and have you feeling like you're on an actual mountain a mountain where the weather is always perfect your friends are ready to hang and a day of epic proportions awaits the mountain is calling you should answer grab your friends grab an ice cold mountain dew wherever refreshing beverages are sold and do the dew i love the original thank you to mountain dew this has been one of our favorite weeks barstool summer camp incredible idea incredible sponsor hopefully we can do this every single year and hopefully mountain dew is back every single year because we love Mountain Dew so if you want to support us uh and all these fun new things we get to do please support our sponsors Mountain Dew go get an original Baja Blast code red right now and do the do okay here he is Will Compton bring back Mountain Dew Live Wire it is the greatest flavor as good as all these flavors are Mountain dew live wire is just incredible incredible okay will compton okay we now welcome on our very good friend will compton the boy little redemption uh because last time he was on this show it was the drunkest episode we've ever done so will uh first of all let's start there how how bad were the scaries anxiety when you woke up and you're like i did a podcast yes bro my scaries and you know we messaged back and forth but my scaries were through the fucking roof man it was a great performance not only that i remembered how you know you're in the you're in the final game and so you're shit talking you know to get in the other team's head and i'm just trying to recall the things i was saying to joey the comedian that was with pak tiari and you know you have no clue you go in the next day in the shop and the boys were talking about how obnoxious i was getting and you're just like god man you're the drunkest man alive bro when i saw your guys's first the first clip and i'm just slurring and every every word i felt like in my brain meant so much you know what i mean yeah i know that feeling you think you're being super profound yeah yeah you get down to and you listen back to it and you're like that is the opposite of what i thought i sounded like yeah although you made some good points about max and how much he hates jj yeah do you want to apologize to Max or you think he still might hate JJ Reddick no yeah I think that you were explaining something that I wasn't quite following no I brought JJ Reddick into it I was gonna say do you hate JJ Reddick for real no I love JJ Reddick he was a great sixer he was probably on the best sixer team of my lifetime probably where should have won they win? No, he was on the Kawhi team. What year were you born, Max? I mean, the 0-1 Sixers, but AI was just the best player.
That team honestly sucked. The team was bad, except for AI.
Yeah, AI covered up a lot. So does that make you mad that J.J.
took the job at the Lakers? No, I like J.J. I appreciate J.J.
for everything that he's done for Philadelphia. What if the Lakers beat the Sixers in the finals? Then I would probably hate JJ.
So he does hate JJ. He does have the ability to hate JJ.
There's pre-hate. There's the potential of pre-hate.
Sounds like you're on to something. Yeah.
I think Will is right. What's the word? In vino veritas? In wine there is truth? Mm-hmm.
It sounds like Will Tapp. This is a drunk man's thoughts or a sober man's right.
What's the word? In vino veritas? In wine, there is truth? It sounds like Will tapped. A drunk man's thoughts or a sober man's words or whatever.
He tapped into the universe. A sober man's words or a drunk man's.
Right. So if the Lakers beat the Sixers, you wouldn't be calling for JJ to come home.
A sober man's thoughts or a drunk man's words. Maybe.
I got it finally. But my he would be tapping into my brain which no no will's asking you if if the sixers fired their head coach and they hired jj reddick it sounds like you wouldn't like that like they were just doing jj reddick yeah would you be hoping jj comes comes to philly i i like j Yes or no.
I like Nick Nurse. I don't want anyone to get fired.
I want JJ to keep his job. I want Nick Nurse to keep his job.
So you wouldn't be excited about having JJ as your head coach? No, I would. I just don't want him to get fired.
He's going to be a good head coach. I do think he's going to be a good head coach.
I don't think he likes JJ. If you thought he was going to be a good head coach, then you would be like, yeah, I would take him over Nick Nurse in a second.
Right. But you ride with your guys.
So you do hate J.J. Reddick.
Yes. Okay.
We got to the bottom. Do you think Caleb Williams is going to be a good quarterback? What's that have to do with J.J.
Reddick? Was that for me? Either one of you. Do I think that? Do you think Jaden Daniels is going to be a good quarterback? Yes.
Would you get rid of Caleb Williams and take Jaden Daniels? No. So you hate Jaden Daniels? No.
We're not talking about Jaden Daniels. I just did the same thing.
I just said he's going to be a good coach or a good QB. You think J.J.
Reddick is going to be a good coach? Correct. Would you put your reputation on the line for it? I don't know.
So you do hate J.J. Reddick.
Oh, no. Yeah.
He hates J.J. I Redding He hates JJ It's so clear

JJ needs this he needs doubters out there

Yeah

But it's good to be sober

Yeah it's good to be sober

I don't think we'll ever do that again

It seemed like a good idea

In the moment and then

The next day we all were going through

Because we were going to interview Joe Burrow

And it was like

We were just all silent in the bus

Let's go. It seemed like a good idea in the moment.
And then the next day we all were going through because we were going to interview Joe Burrow. And it was like we were just all silent in the bus being like just the anxiety.
You could cut it with a knife. Yeah, it was a bad day.
We were at each other's throats. Hank left his wallet in like three different locations and held us up big time and wouldn't apologize for anything.
And so we weren't never mad at Will, obviously, because we were all in that same boat boat we're hammered drunk uh but then when the clips came out i think we all thought that they were hilarious when you see the clips come out you're probably just like turn your phone off yeah yeah yeah i i eventually listened all the way through on the jj reddit part because i remember yeah yeah you're like one of the only people who made it all the way through that part and it's like when you guys are talking about like riding back on the next day

like with your boys you're almost like sitting there with anxiety hoping somebody's like hey man you you were the mvp yesterday yeah right make you feel like okay all right everything is all cool yeah it was epic yeah yeah you didn't get that we didn't have but you all sit there and just assume everybody else is thinking like you're obnoxious in this specifically to you. Yes.
Yeah. Yes.
All right. So, Will, we're on the precipice of football season.
Actually, we can talk about this. This is coming out on Friday.
We were all on the same team for Camp Barstool. I think I don't know how you guys are feeling personally.
This was just an eye opening like God damn like, God damn it. I know I say this all the time, but, like, another one of, like, damn, you are just so washed.
Because the few fun activities we did have just made me. I actually am, like, 1% chance tomorrow I wake up and I can't walk.
Yeah. I'm just paralyzed.
Legs on fire. I'll tell you what.
We won the real game, softball. Yeah.
Dude, here's our list. Softball, wrestling, swim relay, kayak relay.
What else? Tramp, tramp ball. Tramp ball.
Like all the cool ones where you had the actual sports. Yeah, the closest things to sports, we won.
And they basically just won Donnie, Donnie, Chef Donnie, Chef Donnie. He just won like he just won all he climbed to rock he won the belly flop contest yeah and white socks dave white socks dave won uh paper rock scissors yeah how did she did that was the end of rock paper scissors rock i blame steven che for that like going 0 for 4 and rock paper scissors we had memes crunch the numbers on it you know how hard it is to go 0 for 4 in RPS with no ties? He had a 1.2% chance of doing that.
Only Che, bro. Basically 99 times out of 100.
In wrestling, Che bodied. What are you talking about? He took his blow and turned it around on him.
We also ended up losing, but we lost with class. There was the one moment, Will, where I had to correct you.
Yeah, I was going to say, you were leading the charge of winning with class. I'm like sitting in the back like, fuck this, man.
Let's go. He's like, let's get out of here.
I was like, Will, they remember when the Pistons walked off the floor, dude. Like, you got to at least shake some hands.
And none of us had any freak outs. Yeah, and it feels that way because we should have won.
I know. We left some plays on the field.
We might think that way if we were younger. But at this age, it's important to have that perspective.
If one event doesn't go your way, you don't need to lose your cool. You don't need to shove a ref.
Shove a ref. You don't need to attack anybody.
It's important to know, like, hey, it's just a game. Right.
So it's just a game. We had fun.
We're all winners in my book. And I'm glad that we can look back on this week, all of us, and say we take pride in how we compete.
I loved our team. I did, too.
I'd go to war with our team all day. I hope it's the same team next year.
Yeah. It was so much fun, though.
Because part of me, like, when I, you know, I think I believe I broke my toe. I just want to put that out there.
Well there well you went to the infirmary at summer camp we've been here for 48 hours and you had to go see the nurse so after the nurse uh after will left the table the nurse came up to me and she was like uh so i asked him what activities he was planning on doing later on in the day and he said i played in the nfl for 10 years and she's like why did he tell me that that is. That's what she said.
Are you calling the nurse a liar? No, the nurse is a liar about what she said. You don't respect her response.
She said, what do you do? And Garrett, he had the camera on me. So I'm like making Garrett laugh thinking she's going to laugh.
So I took it as, what do you do? And I was like, oh, I played nine years in the NFL. I was like, bounce around a few teams.
And then I was like, I'm just fucking with you. We're about to do swimming games.
That's interesting. Because she said you told her.
But she had like a weird kind of like reaction. where I was like bouncing around a few teams and then I was like I'm just fucking with you we're about to do swimming games but she had like a weird kind of like reaction where I was like okay I guess that one didn't land well she said you told her 10 years you just said 9 maybe I said it day you never know I got as close as you can to 10 years without having 10 years I got as close as you can yeah as close as you can.
Yeah, you couldn't have gotten any closer. We saw the tape of you dropping those balls in Atlanta.
Yeah, I mean, he clipped that up. That was the one drop I had.
I think there was a couple drops. I don't know if there's two.
Hey, listen, there's a reason why you play defense. Yes.
You're not supposed to catch the ball. You're not there to catch the ball.
Are you excited for football season oh yeah i mean of course do you do it's it's the best sport in the world it is but do you do you have now that you've been out for what two years now yeah wait well like a year and a year yeah are there any like moments where like is there a training camp like damn i wish i was with the boys a little bit i mean we went to uh instead you're you're playing swimming games yeah white socks dave white socks dave and che che is literally your coach yeah and that's he's like how you feeling i'm like i'm gonna figure out how to go by the way there's no worse coach or captain than steve oh my god because he has no confidence in himself or in anybody he'll come up to you and you can put your chest out you you'd be like i'm ready to go on the kayak che and he's like are you sure he he there was a moment yesterday where uh he was like i didn't realize he was standing like basically right next to me and someone asked me how it was going and i was like che's the fucking worst and he goes what and i and i turned and i was like oh i didn't see you there i said chase the fucking worst and he's like fair yeah do you miss it at all yeah i do every now and then but it's like again playing the games and everything out here you truly realize like i see when i see the hits that happen i just think to myself i have no clue how i was out there doing that yeah What was the hardest you ever got hit? Man, it was this all pro cat. I forget his name.
But number 76 or 78 for the Saints. And it was my second year or third year.
And they ran this like they ran this dip plater where they pulled a couple guys outside. And I just fucking took off because, you know, you're thinking I got to get to them before they see me or get to me first.
Before they turn their shoulders. And I ran into this cat and he caught me just at the very end.
And he didn't like do a whole lot to me, but he felt like I ran into a fucking brick wall. And I dropped like literally right when I hit him, I lost all feeling in my legs.
And like my arms were kind kind of out wide and I was still trying to lean and I just go down and I can't like stand up because I hear him on the way. Like as he put me on the ground, he looks back, he's like night, night motherfucker.
And I was trying to like get up to like, say something back, like say like a joke back, but I couldn't stand up. Everybody's like, Hey, stay down, stay down.
And I just didn't have any like feeling in my limbs for a minute how long was that how long did you not have feeling um I don't know probably like five seconds that's scary as fuck I'm sure yeah I mean it was like everything went stiff but like on the ground I'm coming together but you kind of feel like that baby deer trying to stand up you like can't get your bearings underneath you and then you know go out, then you get right back in because you love the game. It's like, I guess I got to do this again.
It'll go side to side and you just be like, Hey, I'm good, man. I'm solid.
Give me back. No, what was a beast? I did love watching Will play when he was a, you were a Redskin, right? Not a football team.
Yeah. I was a Redskin.
Loved watching you on that team. Captain Will, Captain Captain Compton good story uh who are who do you root for more because you played on let's see if we can name the Will Compton teams it's just the uh the Redskins one might sneak by you Redskins Titans Raiders Saints yeah are you on the Saints I was on the Saints for a cup of coffee yeah and Falcons for yeah.
Almost Falcons. Almost Falcons.
You got a workout sleeveless shirt, right? Yeah. Did you get the tummy shirt? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or did they say like put it back in? No. We're going to watch this.
Actually, when we went there in the spring, they let us put on gear and stuff for photos, but they're like, hey, do you mind putting everything back? Yeah. That's the last time you came.
Yeah. So, yeah.
Do you root for one of those teams or do you have like another squad i don't know man like each each of the teams i played for i mean outside the saints because i just wasn't there very long but like the raiders titans and and the commanders i want them to do well because it'd be it's cool to root for them but the nfl is such a business to where like once you're removed from and you understand the machine works, it's like, you're more tied to players than you are the actual logo. Yeah.
Like I want the, I want Washington to do well. Cause it was like the spot that where everything basically happened for me.
It's like, I wanted, I want the Titans to do well. Cause you, I still know a few guys.
And then the Raiders, it's like, you still got some players over there that I play with like max that you're just like like, yeah, you want the silver and black to do well. Yeah.
That would be a weird moment when there's no teammates left. Yeah.
That will. It was a weird moment in Nebraska when I realized I didn't know anybody in the locker room anymore.
Right. And then I kind of feel weird going back.
Right. But now that I'm this far removed from football, I find myself being immersed more as a fan like I was when I was young.
Big season coming up. Yeah.
For the Cornhuskers. Yeah.
Dare I say make or break? I actually think you guys would be good because Matt Rule, everywhere he's gone, his second year has been phenomenal. Yeah.
I feel really good about the Huskers. Okay.
I like their schedule. Yeah.
They're over under seven and a half. I think that is hot.
Get those first seven easy. You need to get that.
I think you need to jump on that. They just named Rayola the starter.
Yeah. Honestly, man, I think that they could compete this year.
What does that mean? I think they could go 10-2. Whoa.
I mean, you're talking about maybe sneaking into a playoff spot. Yeah.
10-2? Yeah. You got to think about it.
If we're going into Ohio State, we're 7-0. How many times have you done this exercise and it actually worked out that way? Yeah, I know because I understand the history, the recent history of Nebraska to where it's like, oh, these guys are delusional.
But there's something about this year, man. But the fact that you said, if we get to Ohio State.
I gotta find the clips where you say exactly that. The fact that you said, think about it, we could be going into Ohio State and we're 7-0.
You're kind of admitting that Ohio State's about to kick your ass. They could, but I think that would be good for us.
You think so? Yeah. Obviously, I'm talking way into the future like it's happening.
But number one, like, yeah, if I'm trying to be, you know, everybody's like, oh, we'll be realistic. Trust me.
I want to say 12 and 0. But if I'm going to have some type of credibility in saying it, it's like I got to find a couple.
I don't think you should have to worry about credibility. You know what I'm saying.
But listen, we do this. We don't have credibility.
You're right. There's no reason to pretend to have credibility.
But also the fan bases that you're a part of, like if I'm just saying 12-0, it's like, oh, you know, comp, he's just delusional. Yeah, maybe throw 11-1.
But if you say 10-2, a couple people are like, I mean. It sounds realistic.
Well, and also the trick is to do like a couple different versions. You know what I mean? Like when people ask me what do you think about this Bears season? I'm like, 9-10 wins.
And they're like, what about the best? I'm like, 12-13. You just throw out a couple different numbers.
Get a little cloudy and everywhere. Everyone's like, what do you say? And it's like, well, I kind of covered all my bases.
That's the key. I'm fired up, though.
I think Raiola's going to be a stud. We returned most of the black shirts, top defense last year.
Last year we were 5-7. We had 4-1 score losses.
Yeah, and that Michigan game, if that fourth and one goes different, you probably win that game even though you lost it 42-7. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And they knew our signs. So if they don't know then, we can stop them.
True. That was a different story.
story. I gotta say, Will, I was very excited to go to seven.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. And they knew our signs.
So they don't know them. Oh yeah.
True. That was a different score story.
I got to say, well, I was very excited to go to Nebraska and maybe it's because the team, like that game was just not really competitive. I know where you're going with this, but that was tough.
That crowd was like, they died in the second series. It just felt like it felt like one of those crowds where it's like, they just have been, they just expect the bad thing to happen and they just can never fully get into it and i know that like if they if they rattle off some wins this year they're an unbelievable fan base no one everyone knows that they sell out everything sell at the spring game but i was like damn what is going on here bro i'm with you man it's like what i think it was uh they scored that long drive and then like a pass got tipped the very first player second play and they picked it yeah and then when you need the the crowd to be involved the defense getting back out there on some third and short it's like you need the the fan element to like hey settle for a field goal bend don't break and then you go back and tell the offense hey we got you right go back out there clean that one off but instead it's dead they drive and score and then it is like oh now the and then and then it's like what 21 nothing and you got to go out in the fucking t-shirt that was and you looked that was awful at the start of the game they're like hey start a second quarter you want to hit the t-shirt and i was like oh hell yeah that'll be awesome and when we started to get handled bro i'm like this sucks yeah i here and just fake it.
Like, hey, let's get loud. It's a very, very sad t-shirt cannon.
Yeah, they got to move that up to like the first quarter. He was on the little thing, too.
There's like a little buggy or something. I don't even know what it was.
Dude, it was awesome. But it was like, oh, fuck, this is going to look ridiculous.
One cool thing about Nebraska and college football, I don't know if you've seen this map, but this is the percentage uh people who live in certain parts of the country that actively watch college football and if you look at the hot spots on the map the entire state of nebraska yeah what alabama might have us uh it looks like alabama maybe but like nebraska it starts and ends on the border of the state yeah it's like once you cross this line you have to care about college football it. It's oxygen out there, man.
I like that saying. It's oxygen out there.
Yeah. I mean, listen, I want Nebraska to be good.
It'd be fun. They're one of the teams.
Which you take in seven and a half over under. I'd have to look at the whole schedule.
I mean, I like Will's confidence. Let's pull it up.
I'm getting talked into it. Max, give us the whole schedule.
Will sounds like he means... Game by game.
Now, listen, I don't think the Badgers are going to be that great this year. We have a really tough schedule and kind of a you know, I think they're going to be I think this is going to sound like loser talk, but I think you understand what I'm saying.
I think they're going to be a better team than they were last year. They might not have a better record.
Yeah, because you guys do have a tough we have to because i think uh fickle i think yeah i think he's gonna be solid and we have to play with alabama non-conference penn state oregon like it's a brutal schedule usc so like they could end up the badgers could end up being like seven and five but i'd be like i'm excited about the future yeah let's go i'm with you let's go through one at a time, and we'll give instant reaction. Win-loss.
Me or just you guys? They have the easiest schedule in September. Nebraska, home against UTET.
Win. Easy.
Home against Colorado. Win.
Ooh, Dion. Dion.
Home against Northern Iowa. Win.
Home against Illinois. Pilmos? Dude, Pilmos is a fucking salty motherfucker.
Illinois is a sneaky team. Yeah, they are.
I'm going to say tie. Tie.
Okay. Tie is good.
Okay. Road, Purdue.
That's also another one. Yeah.
Well, no, because I feel like Purdue will use their crazy good game at home against a better team than Nebraska. Nebraska might be ranked if they're 4-0.
But they're 3-0-1. That's a win.
Home against Rutgers. So many home games.
Sheano going out west. Rutgers also going to be salty.
Some good teams road against Indiana loss. Did you know that we were playing the Indiana signetti? Yeah, I know that's your boy.
That's my boy. Here comes the gun.
That's going to be a game that's actually Nebraska against JMU because Indiana got all of her best players and they got her coach so that's me versus you

right there yeah when you were talking about on the plane i was curious i'm like do we play indiana this year because if so like i'm i'm assuming pft thinks that they'll beat us yeah indiana's gonna win that game ready for the gauntlet yeah yeah road against the buckeye loss home against UCLA. Win.

Road against USC.

Loss.

Home against UCLA. Win.
Yeah.

Road against USC.

Loss.

Home against Wisconsin.

Loss.

Okay, here's the thing.

Like I said, Wisconsin is, I don't think they're going to be great this year.

Wisconsin handles Nebraska.

That game came down to the wire last year. I'm not even, but what's the record?

Yeah.

What's the record with Wisconsin-Nebraska? And you know what you're doing. You look up Wisconsin-Nebraska You know what you're doing right now too.
No, I'm not. I'm just looking, I'm asking for the record.
I think it's like 10-1. Yeah, no doubt.
I mean, when you took me on the walk with the fart video last year, you were kind of saying what the recent season was. That was a close game last year.
You guys should have probably won that game. When you say Wisconsin handles,

you're just talking in the scope of their overall record of all time.

Against Nebraska.

Since Nebraska's been in the Big Ten, you have been our bitch.

That's a fact.

Fact or fiction?

What's the record?

Total, it's Wisconsin 13, Nebraska 4.

Okay, but what about in the last, since the Big Ten?

Because I don't know.

They probably got a couple wins when they did steroids. Ten and one? That's crazy.
I knew that. You knew that.
Ten and one. You fucking did it.
Thank you for fact-checking, boys. Yeah, yeah.
That'll be a good game. You guys got our numbers.
No, that'll be a good game. I'll be very interested to see because it'll be a big test for Wisconsin.
Yeah. And then the last game of the season is on the road to Iowa.
Let's loss. We got to control the border, man.
Do you get mad when Iowa beats you because it's like, that's what we should be doing? You might be the only person who's envious. No, that's more me.
Nebraska at their height is better than Wisconsin and Iowa. Iowa and Wisconsin are kind of like when Iowa beats us, I'm like, what the fuck? Because like we should be able to beat teams with punting and running the ball.
Yeah. It pisses me off.
Yeah. It's all of it too, right? Like Iowa and Nebraska are similar states, but I just get pissed because it's like the Iowa team last year is basically everybody in that division, but they just happen to win 10 games.
You know what I mean? And then you got, what's his name, Butterbean out there beating you, throwing dimes against your defense, and you're just thinking, how in the fuck does this guy beat us? Yeah. Do you think that Matt Rule is the kind of coach, though, that if shit goes bad, is Matt Rule a guy that's going to turn it around? I think so.
He literally just got the around. Yeah.
I mean, you came across his speeches, I'm sure. And I feel like, I'm sure nobody's out there watching Nebraska Hard Knocks, but they do have some nice training camp episodes out right now on YouTube.
But the way he interacts with the guys, the words he has to say, it always feels like he has the right thing to say at the right time. I think both at Temple and Baylor, his second year is he won 10 games.
Is it? I thought the first year was like one. No, no.
Second year was like seven or eight. And then he's double digits.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But either way, he's a turnaround guy.
Yeah. Like big time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he is definitely the guy.
Yeah. I think he's definitely the guy.
And you didn't say that about Scott Frost. And if he's not, I mean, there are a couple.
Yeah, we thought Scott Frost was the guy. Yeah.
That's a weird position. I wanted him to be the guy and you didn't say that about scott frost and if he's not i mean there are a couple yeah we thought scott frost was the guy yeah that's a weird position i wanted scott frost is in too because he's like hometown boy coming back he was part of the squad in the 90s yeah so he's like a legend and then he comes back and then he stinks as a coach like is he does he feel like he's not part of nebraska anymore i don't know i think that would be a good question for him because i get curious of that too.
It's like, man. He's got to affect you.
She hit him with the text. The height of everything.
How you doing? Yeah, just being like, hey, man, you still feel like you're part of Big Red? Okay. I can do that.
Do it right now. How are you going to phrase it? I'm going to say what you just said.
No way. You're going to ask him if he feels like he's a part of Big Red yeah maybe throw in like a i hope you know you are yeah yeah you know just so he like feels that way yeah yeah so what would you feel like hey we're i'm having a debate with the boys like do you still feel like you're part of big red i hope you know you are that's a good way good way to do it.
Also, what do you think about J.J.? What do you think about the Lakers side of J.J. Reddick? Thoughts on J.J.
Reddick. I mean, I'm just – even as crazy as you've been, I actually do think, like, for the first time, Will, I'm actually on your side because every year that you've done the Nebraska, like, this year is different.
I'm like, this guy's crazy end up in the same spot this is the first year where I'm like he he actually has a little merit like I think they're gonna be a pretty good team I think they're gonna go to a bowl game for the first time in forever how long has it been the bowl drought it's oh has it been over a decade it hasn't really might have been Pelini it's been bad was Pelini the last one or did mike no mike riley that was the weirdest hire ever he started like six or seven and oh yeah until it's just similar schedule you guys you guys did the same thing that wisconsin did gary anderson was our weird hire where you hire someone in mike riley say utah state and oregon state was mike riley like hiring someone from the west coast being like yeah come coach this ball AD like just like you could like it made no sense none none and he you know we don't I don't have to I don't I don't have to throw shit on Mike Riley it seems like you have you want to text him and ask him if he's still I don't have his I don't have his because that the point that the time that he was there is like you know your staff gets fired and then when he was transitioning that last group of seniors was the very last class that was around yeah so that was the time where i didn't you almost everything kind of felt weird driving a tesla might have been or not maybe it was too early for a tesli but it was like a subaru or something i was like this isn't a nebraska maybe like a prius yeah it seems like yeah it was something like judge a lot by a football coach based on what car he drives Yeah I can tell you How many games he's gonna win Yeah Like Andy Reid probably Has a truck from 1996 Yeah or even a minivan Yeah He could have a minivan For sure Minivan would be good Yeah Matt Ruhle in a minivan Would be kinda weird I wonder what Coach Will does He probably He drives a truck For sure He has to He's a truck guy He's a Chevy guy. He's a Chevy guy.
There's no doubt. Yeah.
All right. Anything else, Will? No.
We're going to see you a bunch more because you're going to be in the office. I'm excited for football.
See you in the office once a week. Dude, football show is going to be fun.
Yeah. Gambling with the boys.
Yeah. We got to get in on some action.
You had a clip that was out the other day talking about like, you know, the whole it's not about winning and losing but having fun with your boys yeah you guys just put your money in one thing and you're all rooting for it i can't wait for that i i say it all the time and i know like people like all this loser talk because you know everyone online is hitting 65 of their bets uh somehow uh and and knows the outcome after the game uh but to me, obviously you bet what you think,

but there's no better feeling than when you're sitting down,

watching a game with all your friends,

and you're all like, all right, what do we like?

And everyone's like, all right, we like this.

And then you're all in it together, and it's just like we're pulling up for this together.

It's just the best feeling.

I fucking love it.

What's going to be your first prop bet on Thursday? Because you got the first game. No.
Ravens-Chiefs. Yep.
Is that one on Thursday? Yeah. Ravens-Chiefs.
Bears played noon on first week one against Titans. Was it Sunday? Yeah, Sunday against Titans.
I'm off on that. You know what I love? Here's what I'm putting my money on this year.
I'm going to go big on this. Kind of a sharp play.
Kansas City Chiefs over 11 and a half wins. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Here we go.
Rollback question. R-H-O-B-A-C-K dot com.
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Goddamn, were you so stupid about the Chiefs last year. Why did you do that? In hindsight, just like you just said, yeah, guys, 65% of the outcome.
But that's the one guy. But that's the one guy.
You said they weren't going to make the playoffs. That was my hot take.
Wait, a take's got to be hot, right? They should all be hot. And that's one where it's like, you know.
And I remember so vividly after week one when they lost to the Lions. When they lost to the Lions.
You were like, I'm telling you. I am the fucking smartest man alive.
I'm telling you, this is the year where they start to go down. Well, there has to be one person every year that has that take.
It's the same person that was like, this is the year that Tom Brady falls off. Falls off, yeah.
And Father Time catches up. Right, right, right.
There's always somebody that's out there being like i don't believe in the chiefs anymore there's it's gonna be a lot harder to not believe in the chiefs this but in the take game like those are the certain there's certain teams you just don't like i would never be like oh the chiefs are gonna suck this year because it's just like you just it's patrick holmes where chiefs fans giving you a lot of shit you don't think oh they give me they give me shit all the time. It's fun now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you don't think that division, Raiders, Broncos, Chargers, are going to be? Chargers will be better, for sure.
No, I don't think that division is going to give them any problems. I'm sure.
Not too worried about the Broncos. Are you doing this again? Are you doing it again? I mean, I'm doing it again, but I'm...
You're doing it again. 12 wins.
No, I don't think so. You're doing this again, Will.
I think that division is going to be scrappy, top to bottom. Will's doing it again.
Yeah. Will, what are you talking about? Scrappy, top to bottom.
I'm telling you. What do you have, 10 wins? Nine? Will.
You have nine wins. I think they make the playoffs.
I think they make the playoffs. I don't think they win the division.
Oh, Will. Oh, Will, Will, Will.
Okay. I love it, Will.
Will's that mouse that keeps going back and touching the electric. I can't believe it.
He's like, I'm going to get this cheese next time. Yeah, we were literally just talking about it.
You just did it again. Yeah, but, man, I know deep in that brain you're like, yeah, it could be a scrappy division top to bottom.
It could be interesting. You're going to feel so smart though if it hits.
I think the Chargers will be, because I believe in Harbaugh, will be better, but I don't think they're there. They're doing a full roster overhaul.
I think the Raiders are going to be better. Herbert.
Yeah. Mahomes.
Bo Nix. Mahomes.
Gardner missed you. Bro, I'm telling you, I think...
Why do you hate the Chiefs? I don't hate the Chiefs. No, it feels personal.
Feels like you hate the Chiefs as much as Max hates J.J. Reddick.

In your brief time in Las Vegas, did you develop that hatred for the Chiefs?

No, not like that.

I think it just developed over – like it's starting there,

but I didn't hate the Chiefs.

You just knew that that was a big rivalry.

It sounds like a guy who hates the Chiefs.

No, I don't hate the Chiefs.

Yeah.

A lot of good friends on that team.

Like who?

Harrison Buckner. Bucker.
Wow, good friend. Great friend.
Travis Kelsey. He dropped a fire quote about Winston Churchill the other day.
He did. An NFL kicker is like, yeah, I'm just like Winston Churchill.
Oh, man. I know, I know.
All right, well, Willie, you're the best. We'll see you again uh soon you'll be on again this fall um great job great listen great i said it we i'd go to war with you guys i'd go to war with you guys any day of the week even though we fell up short fell a little short it's okay the backstroke and you were i mean you downplay yourself all the time i think it's just part of the part of the bag you try to work with But you were.
I did have the. It was a moment where Will, Taylor, and I.
Taylor was on the other team. Will, Taylor, and I were in our cabin right before we were heading out.
And I was just like, man, I feel like I'm like 50% tops right now. And Will just turns to me after we walked out.
He's like, that was so smart. What you just did do do you secretly miss just uh like after you know after we're done today we go we eat dinner we hang out socialize a little bit outside maybe hit the showers but we're all not showering together in a big open area all butt naked looking at each other does that do you miss that at all in nfl training camp or will showers with his shorts on he does, that was.
I was talking to Will about that yesterday, though. It is kind of weird that after practice, after games in the NFL, they're like, okay, boys, pack it up, and then they all just take all their clothes off and shower next to each other.
We do, yeah. Yeah.
And you got that nickname. I mean, I miss being in the locker room.
Yeah. And some of them shower conversations, man.
That's when it gets real. Yeah, that's when it gets real.
Yeah. The scrimp nickname.
Stop. Well, you own it.
They go scrimp. God.
Shit. What the hell are you in here talking about today? Yeah.
They must be calling me jumbo. Yeah.
That's cool. Yeah.
All you can eat. Yeah.
All right. Thank you, Will.
Appreciate you guys. You're the best the best you know what we need to get more of off our ass will compton was brought to you by the one drink that will get you off your ass that's mountain dew we love mountain dew been drinking it all week here got the baja blast in a can we got code red we got the original we got zero sugar we're fueled up on Mountain Dew with bold flavors and refreshing citrus kick.
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And now here's Sam Morrell. And now for something completely different.
Okay, we now welcome on a recurring guest.

A little bit of a better setting than last year when he was on.

It is comedian Sam Morrell.

Sam, first of all, welcome to the new office.

We promised you last time you were here, we were in like a closet that we'd be in a little bit of a better spot.

So here we are.

This is crazy.

Yeah.

But great to have you. I think last time there was a toilet that was flushing in the background the entire time.
Yeah, that's right. We had a pipe running through our studio.
So whenever somebody would flush upstairs, we would just get a big dump going through our studio. It was a dark time for us.
There was a couple guests that came through and were like, we swear we didn't move to Chicago for this. And now we're here so no this is insane yeah yeah it's pretty it's pretty nice so you have a uh new special out on amazon yeah and you were saying to me earlier your new special's out but now you have to get a new special and that's the hard part about comedy it never goes away man it's painful yeah it's like uh you people are like oh my god you have a new hour out i'm like yeah cool i have to start at fucking zero yeah you're just like in the you know you're just in it you feel like you're in spring training you're just out of shape and shitty and you're like no i swear i'm good at this but then they come out and i'm like it's gonna be all new shit yeah do you ever get a moment to be like oh that was awesome i'm gonna take some time to enjoy that no well you're, you're addicted to comedy.
Yeah. You have an actual, like, an addiction.
Yeah, it's hard. It's hard to...
I really don't really... I'm not good at celebrating ever.
I'm not... I was never, like, a birthday guy.
I was never like, oh, this is awesome. No, I like the grind of starting a zero back on the road and just having to build it again.
Yeah. It's humbling.
It keeps like from being a piece of shit wait so you didn't celebrate the amazon special coming out for even like a week no no what are you doing it for i was getting too frustrated they were just turning down they they every time i'd be like hey they'd be like what should we market your clip as and everything they'd suggest we're like well that's not a joke oh they'd be like a setup and they'd be like that's that's it and i'm like no here's nine options and they were like none of those work yeah and i was like what do you mean they're like what's a bad representation of amazon and i was like what's on amazon yeah you know and then i'd see like what they would post otherwise it'd be like homelander from the boys sucking on a woman's breast yeah i'd be like this is okay and you gotta be careful because like whatever they choose to market your stand-up with, that's what people are going to see. And then they'll assume that's the entire thing.
Like Netflix, they put out a bad clip of Joe Rogan. And everyone's like, Joe Rogan is the worst person.
He's the worst stand-up comedian ever. And so it's just like what they market you as is not always what's contained in the special.
It's usually like someone 22, fresh out of college, who's like, this should be an important job. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah job yeah yeah yeah all right so you're you're did you also get almost called a pedophile not not to my knowledge wait no there was some one of your jokes i feel like went viral and people were like this guy uh huh recently maybe i'm pedophile yeah maybe it wasn't a new one i've never heard it no it's probably yeah probably for the best I can't remember someone maybe posted one of your jokes and everyone was like trying to take it out of context and it was like what this is bullshit like he's a comedian that's the hard thing with those clips right because it's like you put them on social media it's like it's a comedy club where someone's opening the door and being like that's fucked up yeah right well it's not for you right I know I don't I've definitely have a lot of pedo jokes that was a bad question by me to being like hey did you get accused of being a pedophile Now, now for you, obviously.
I definitely have a lot of pedo jokes. That was a bad question by me, being like, hey, did you get accused of being a pedophile? My bad.
Now this is going to get part of some video. Yeah, at least address it.
Hypothetically, what would your response be if somebody were to accuse you of being a pedophile, Sam? I would say Kevin Spacey was exonerated. Maybe I'll have similar luck.
Yeah, I have a lot. I definitely definitely had a lot of pedo i did joke back in the day about how like the best thing about pedophile jokes is like no one ever gets offended yeah because no one's going to be like no one's going to stand up in the crowd like that's that's enough right you know what i mean no one's standing up for them i had a lot of pedo jokes in my last special i don't know if i had any in this one did amazon say like let's not include those in the clips they asked me not to include one joke in the special they asked me to cut one joke and i you know my friends are like dude fuck that shit you're an artist i'm like what are you talking about like i i get the joke back yeah i was like thrilled it was a i opened on a joke that was like uh my friend uh i text her she was pregnant i said congrats on the baby she just had a baby and she sent me back a picture of her breastfeeding i was like oh okay and then uh she wrote sorry if that's like the female equivalent of a dick pic and i was like i think be way worse uh i send you a picture of a baby sucking my pee that was my first joke i just thought it was like a quick fun joke and they were like can you not open on that and i was like well it's kind of hard to move it yeah kind of hard to put it in like the middle of the special yeah so then uh that was an issue and then i was just like well i'll just keep it i'll just yeah yeah that's a bonus that yeah there must be just one less joke that you have to write when you're talking about new material right i know yeah that's the tough thing but uh i mean like they didn't they didn't ask me to cut anything they were just like this will fuck it up in the algorithm like people will get so funny like they always could say that algorithm i know like anytime anyone they're just like oh yeah well we got to do this for the algorithm i'm like okay i know sure take your shirt off and make this you know tiktok video for the algorithm all right that's burnt yeah right it's like getting the algorithm it must also be weird taping a special and like you tape it and you know that it was good you're happy with your performance but then you have to wait and be like well i don't know if the actual stand-up special is going to be good because there's so much else that goes into like putting out uh like a video of your performance than actually just doing the performance live right i felt good about it we did four shows which is stupid it's a huge waste of money but i i liked i did seven when i did one in chicago i'm a psycho wow i'll just keep taping i'm like no let's just keep taping them i'm just watching money just disappear from my account but i'm like no it'll be cool just keep taping it and uh yeah by the fourth one i knew we had a good moment too where a woman i didn't want hecklers but like if someone heckled i i didn't want to put any crowd work in the actual special because there's so much crowd work on the internet right now and i was like i'm just gonna do start to finish jokes and but one woman heckled a joke and i was like i kind of got to keep this in because it was a quick moment but i just said the words fox news and she was like boo and i was like a joke is coming it's not like i'm just gonna say the words fox news and then she was like i'm sorry and i was like hold on i've never heard a woman say that before let me take that in so that was like a fun quick one but i'm not gonna i didn't want crowd work in the special yeah what is it about hecklers what what's the mentality of somebody that goes to a comedy show and is like you know what now is my time to chip in it's a good question i mean alcohol maybe uh maybe just that you you know you're that person i think you probably lack a self-awareness and maybe your group of friends around you is always like like you're that person there's like a weird thing of someone's like well i tell it like it is i'm like well that's not a talent anyone can do that you should be an asshole yeah the person who's like i said it i'm like anyone can say it yeah say it cleverly yeah i just wonder if those people if they're liked at every single show they go to or if something snaps and they're like i can't hold back anymore i think it's also like i know because i've i've seen shane a couple shows, and I think that there's, and this is a good thing, that you want your fans to feel this affinity towards you, but I think a lot of hecklers show up there being like, I'm going to make Shane Gillis laugh.
Yeah. And you're like, well, you're probably not because he's very, very funny and also he's doing a show, but in their head they're like, this is my moment.
Yeah. I'm going to make him laugh and then we're going to be best friends.
Totally, yeah. Shane is, you know, you might make him laugh at the bar afterwards, but on stage, Shane is like, his fans are also probably just all guttural alcoholics, you know? Yeah.
Shane's insanely funny, but his fans, Shane drinks heavily. Yeah.
Oh, we've been with him many times. It's like a video game when I see him just like how do i get around shane without getting blackout drunk yeah and i lose most times but i saw him in nashville just recently i was passing through nashville he was at some i was at some post malone concert it was really fun i see shane he's like your beer looks light i'm like it's not like a see-through you don't know what's like but he just assumes he's like have another beer and i'm like i'm hung over i've been i flew in that day i'm like all right i'll have one he's like he just keeps an eye on everybody he's like making sure he's like a fucking bad cop well the the we we did he did a case race with us on the yak and i made the mistake of just being like oh i think like you and i will be like the two heavy hitters it was like dissing jordan like he was just like oh yeah and then he like took a party afterwards he's like yeah you shouldn't have said that because he just dominated everyone yeah i was like yeah i probably shouldn't have that was a mistake yeah it's impressive i like that he's like a coach he sees people that aren't drinking enough and he's like a football guy he's a football player so he just gives you tough love he's like come on pussy yeah let's go one more rep yeah get it in it was brutal it was him and joe de rosa who were just both joe is 46 joe's got to slow down joe's like that dude he like you know that friend who's like kind of happy to be at a funeral because it's an excuse to do shots yeah or he's like we got to do this for steve i'm like you fucking love this dude yeah you love that he died yeah another party wait how old are you i'm 37 okay so you still got some i got a couple more years yeah it's hurting i'm hurting now i had martinis last night with with chris de stefano we're getting hammered at shaw's crab house he's with his family we're just pounding martinis he's like let's go on a boat tour so we're in we're doing like and by the way boat tour with a woman just narrating so it's like her comedy show where she's like don't interrupt me no no sound and i'm like so we just got drunk and we have to be quiet yeah so now i'm in my head i'm like yeah you can't you got to be respectful it's her thing but we're just like staring at each other shit-faced looking at your beautiful city yeah like this is a miss both knowing it was a mistake to get on that boat i he had a great i think he liked it the architecture tours are kind of cool here it's very cool it's beautiful yeah a lot of fun fact lot of fun facts.
It was also a perfect weather day. Oh, my God.
You get one of those perfect, like, not too hot Chicago summer days. It was like 10 p.m.
It was late. Oh, yeah.
You guys went after dinner? Yeah. Jesus Christ.
I didn't know they did night tours. Yeah.
It was cool. Check that out.
It was very cool. So you are addicted to comedy.
Have you taken any breaks? I did a little bit last year. is what how long a week it's fucking crazy i i it's so painful to get back into comedy it's so to stop and then have to start again is so it's excruciating i hate going on feeling weak as a comic i like always knowing i'm in comedy shape and uh and i like touring i've talked to like legends and comedy who are like you're burning yourself out which is totally true but like what else am i gonna do you know i i always wanted to make like a tv show or a movie i'm working on stuff like that but in the meantime like i want to go all i love stan is my favorite thing to do yeah i mean i laugh at it but also whenever we take like a week vacation i'm like i want to talk about sports i know like i get the itch where i'm like starting to go a little stir crazy in my brain where it's like I don't have this outlet and you can't relax for like an extended period of time yeah it's you you've gone to this level because you guys are workaholics yeah you don't get to where you got you don't get this studio by being like I'm going to Mykonos next week no you fucking work your work your ass off.
I did go to Mykonos this summer. Did you?

Yeah.

All right, you guys are falling off.

But we came back.

We did tape while I was there to talk about NBA Free Agency.

Yeah.

That's cool.

So there was that.

So it's not really a full trip.

But like, do you think you're a workaholic in the true sense of the word?

Like, no matter what you were doing, you would be like this?

Or is it just comedy?

Probably comedy.

I really like what I do, so I'm pretty fortunate. Yeah,'t if i hated what i did i would probably not be going crazy working at it but i also when people say workaholic like it's just hilarious to me because i'm like i did two sets last monday it's like 15 minutes each yeah less than an hour day at work our job is awesome like you're a fucking workaholic i was home in an hour 15 yeah when i when i say like i'm a workaholic it's like oh you did a a three hour uh video game stream exactly like yeah i guess i am guilty as charged my podcast is literally me getting shit-faced and and people like you had a hard day at work like you work all day i'm like i was drunk with my friends yeah yeah it's not pretty that rules yeah that sounds fun so you you do you tour a lot you do a lot of shows you're going to europe right yeah going to amsterdam never been that'll be fun only there a night unfortunately we added a show i can't believe that's the weird thing is like you undersell in some places and uh and then plays like amsterdam we added a show it's crazy do you have to like plan ahead to see because they and frank house well stand up comedy it's like it's like six weeks out for that thing know i don't want to be calling my agent you got to get me in it is crazy but like when you're doing show i would imagine that different audiences react differently to different jokes right yeah when you're traveling overseas there's also maybe a small language barrier sometime do you have to think about which jokes like a dutch audience is going to be into.
Totally. Yeah.
You don't,

sometimes you can groom your set.

You go all the way through it.

And then by the way,

groom,

that's why I'm saying pedophile,

but no,

you go through it and then you don't realize till you're mid,

uh,

set and you're like,

fuck,

they don't have Panda Express in London.

You know,

you're just like,

shit,

I don't,

I don't know that.

So yeah,

it's,

it's stressful.

You don't realize till midway through,

but the, the shit that's universal is so funny. i had a joke in my special about like uh like i went down a girl and uh it was i didn't know how long i was down there but it was at least 22 minutes because the entire episode of fraser played in the background and like how you know i'm like fucking niles like i had a whole thing about that and everyone like applauds when i say niles in australia like niles is that global he's huge so it's funny the shit that people don't mix but then or they don't catch but then the stuff they do catch you're like wow this is global yeah yeah um we gotta talk about your knicks yeah dude jalen brunson i love him so much i couldn't love a player more he clearly like someone's paying him someone's paying him in new york so.
Yeah. There's got to be something.
To leave that kind of money on the table. Like, dude, I was at so many games this year, and, like, I can't remember loving a player this much.
I mean, I love Starks and Ewing and Oak and the 90s Knicks so much, Mason. But, like, that team was lovable in, like, a way, like, they're going to fuck you up.
These guys are lovable, and, like, they're best. we're just watching best friends win together yeah awesome right it's cool and i feel like you know for the most part people root against new york city at like a national level but with oh you know why yeah not why the knicks is my question i understand the yankees because you're also yankees fans that's that's kind of like the the math that we do in our head but the knicks were so good and so fun that i feel feel like, for the most part, America didn't hate the Knicks.
We loved watching the Knicks because they were a fun team to play. It was cool watching them, like you said, friends from college, playing on the same team, having success in the NBA playoffs.
And their style of play, I feel like it translates. It's like universal, so we loved them.
It's beautiful. It's like what you hear the 60s and 70s knicks played like just moving the ball you know the injuries did us in but like i think this year we're pretty good it just hurts so much to lose hardenstein he's like he was one of my faves yeah he's a bruiser he's a high iq guy great passer like i loved how he played yeah yeah i mean jalen brunson is so much fun i mean like he bet on himself, and the fact that he just ended up in New York where people love that style, like New York point guards and all that stuff.
We never had that guy either. Look at a few – who were we starting? Shane Larkin? Yeah.
You know? I'm like fucking Tony Douglas. No disrespect to these guys, but like – No, all disrespect to them.
NBA players, but they're barely NBA players, and and now we have a guy who's like I think it's fair to say he's at he's in the combo of a top 10 guy in my but he's definitely in my top 10 yeah you know I'm sure people argue that but he's a hell of a player yeah I got into an argument because I was like I I uh superstars in the NBA are like there's like five of them yeah and I was like he's not a superstar yet and Knicks fans were very upset about that. But I was like, he's on the way.
You've got to be like deep in the playoffs. Here's why I would go against that, though.
Yeah. He elevates in the playoffs.
Of course. To me, you have to – okay, is he a regular season superstar? Debatable, fine.
But you've got to put a guy like Jimmy Butler in that conversation, too. Guys who elevate – See, he's not a superstar to me either.
But in the playoffs, he is. Yeah, and I also think he's going to be him and anthony edwards are going to be superstars where it's like the face of the nba i hope a year or two where it's like that was the first like deep run for jalen brunson and this next year is going to be a big year for him and if he goes deep again it's like oh shit this guy is he's the real deal he is he is the real deal he's the real deal and he's a and he's fearless.
Just losing. We don't have depth at the big.
I loved Hardenstein. I knew he was leaving because I DM'd with him a little.
And I invited him to the comedy cellar. And he said, oh, man, I would have.
But I'm in Houston. I was like, would have? This is a week out.
So I know it means he's not coming back. Do you ever feel weird DMing players? No, because it's not like I'm a fucking chick sliding in all these dudes DMs, but I'm just like, oh, great game.
Occasionally, great game or something. Good game.
Yeah. He had so many huge plays.
Well, does he follow you? Yeah. Oh, all right.
That's totally normal. So that's why I did it.
I'm not just cold sliding in, but he, yeah, we were at a game and he came over to high five me in the playoffs and Chris DiStefano and his fucking meatball cop friend got in

front of us to try to intercept the high five.

And I was like, what the hell are you doing?

That was my high five.

That was my high five.

And he like went away, like shaking his head.

Cause this guy was like 300 pounds of muscle.

Chris's cop friend.

Like, he's like, no one's taking that high five.

Yeah.

Break your hand.

Yeah.

And, uh, and then after the game, he DM me, I tried to high five you, but some dumb ass got in front of you and i just showed it to chris i go you're the dumb ass you cost me a fucking playoff high five i i loved him i love i mean the energy of the garden was something unlike i mean it is special i i i was uh skeptical because i was like it can't be that much different but then i went to a playoff game two years ago and I was like okay it can't be that much different. But then I went to a playoff game two years ago, and I was like, okay, this is pretty sick.
That was against Atlanta, you mean? The Cavs. The series against the Cavs.
Oh, yeah, that was a good one. But I was just like, this is sick.
You can tell that everyone's just in it, and it's so loud throughout the entire game. Dude, it was epic.
I mean, hearing Tracy Morgan, I was lucky enough to get good seats in some of those games. One game, Tracy Morgan, he turns behind to look at us, and he goes, real animals eat meat.
I'm like, I don't know what that means. We're just like, hell yeah, dude.
It means something in that moment, right? It means something. The way that he says it, you're like, he's right.
No, we were like nodding. We're like, fuck yeah, they do, dude.
Yeah, and you had all the old Knicks there, which was a little depressing because it wasn't like, you know, there were good players, but not like, oh, man. Bernard King's a legend.
Yeah, but it was like Steph Marbury and like Marist Odomeyer. Hey, Amari gave us one of the best half seasons of my life.
That was a beautiful thing. Look, Marbury, it didn't work out.
That was a tough era. Yeah.
That was a tough one. But he's a New York kid, and I think his story is still pretty cool.
It is. So I was having this conversation with a couple of buddies the other day.
The New York sports Mount Rushmore. Yeah.
It's kind of depressing because it's probably all Yankees. I was thinking about it, and I was like, is it all Yankees? Cheater.
Ruth, Mantle. Yeah, but then you say we could go like 10 deep.
True, with Yankees. And then it's better than a lot of other teams.
Absolutely. Because maybe Mariano Rivera's not even on it.
Yeah, I think I settled on Mantle, Ruth, Moe, and Cheater. How about DiMaggio? DiMaggio.
You can't put Mantle over DiMaggio So DiMaggio over mantle. But then what other sport would get in? Joe Namath? No, he sucked.
Eli would get in over Joe. Eli is definitely in over Joe.
Yeah. But it's kind of depressing when you think about the other sports.
You're like, who else? Razor and Reed are pretty iconic. Yeah.
But the Yankees are so iconic. Right.
I get why. I mean, you didn garrick like luke garrick numbers are fucking stupid right and you leave off like mark messier and like there's a bunch of but like the yankees are just the yankees lawrence taylor yeah lawrence taylor yeah but i think it's all yankees gretzky yeah but gretzky at the end you know messier was older when he's a ranger lungquist like but it's all yankees probably yeah lungquist you had to do it it's a man that guy is still is he's still a gorgeous guy yeah yeah i mean would ewing even touch it it's just tough because of the yankees you said no and the winning but like yeah you mean i love ewing so much yeah like i mean that that voiceover he did for brunson i was like fuck i love that we didn't even consider any mets on this list no yeah yeah the problem is likeny Dykstra.
Doc, yeah. Yeah, it's kind of depressing.
There's a lot of cities where you're like, boom, that's the Mount Rushmore. And then the New York, yeah, the Yankees can fill it up, but then you're like, wait, we don't even have any other sports? I think for the Knicks, you've got to put Stephen A.
Smith on there. Yeah, that was a little much.
What did you think about Stephen A. during the playoffs? They made the game about Stephen A.
Smith. Well, isn that what he always does yeah i was shocked to see that steven a smith made did you think at any point like hey the pacers are also playing in this or because you're new you're new yorker through and through you're like no this is just how coverage should be no i knew it was not okay for what he was doing but but i also don't really watch him to be yeah like i kind of like mute until the game starts right i don't want to watch his halftime show it's awful yeah i mean when they go from tnt to him i'm like this is the biggest it's crazy turnaround i've ever seen yeah he just kind of it's like you know when you play in the park with someone who's like an iso guy and doesn't pass to anyone that's what he does and then you see ernie and he's like dishing it out yeah everyone cooking it's like it's just not good tv to me no yeah it was it was very strange i kept feeling like they were just giving the pacers more ammo it's like this is exactly what they well they only they won because of the injuries i know that i'm gonna get shit every time i say this but it's like they're not beating us without i mean we we didn't have one starter who's our current starter playing with brunson.
Yeah, it was pretty bad at the end. Yeah.

It was pretty tough.

And when Brunson broke his hand, I was at that game.

That was hell.

Where do you land on the Tibbs argument?

He's great.

But I know the injuries weren't exactly – some of them were freak injuries,

but this is what I struggled with with the Bulls.

He gets his teams to play so hard throughout the regular season,

and they just run out of gas in the playoffs.

And they get injured, and everything falls apart. We're in love is he toxic who knows you know like if i love a girl that's treating me like shit i still love her yeah so i don't know you're asking the wrong guy i love tibbs yeah like i think he's they buy in if if you don't buy into tibbs yeah he's not right but if the best player and all the other best players buy in like randall bought in before Brunson.
Brunson buys in. No, they do.
They all die. I mean, they all play so hard for him.
OG is the only one that worries me a little because of his durability, and same with Mitch, of course, but I think if they're healthy for the playoffs, we're tough. We just need that backup five.
Hartenstein was so valuable. Yeah.
He was such a good player. So what happens happens next year i think we have to see how this plays out because part of me is like is our defense going to be insane or are we going to is our shooting not going to be quite good enough without dante in the lineup so uh i mean but the length defensively with bridges and uh and og and then randall just beating you up i mean this it could be a.
Yeah. And a fun team to root for too.
Yeah. Look, Boston is an amazing team, but they're just not fun.
Tatum is not fun. Does he have aura? He has no aura.
Yeah. I don't know.
No, no, we're not sure. We're firmly on the no aura.
I mean, Brown has some aura. Oh, he's definitely got aura.
I think Tatum has no aura. I think Drew has aura.
Yeah. But but tatum is like once your mom starts being like this isn't fair it's like shut the fuck up dude who gives a shit like this isn't no you you don't get greatness from a supportive mom yeah you're not an elf tony soprano had a bad mom he's a fucking alpha lebron's mom's fucking his teammates yeah he's an alpha yeah you need you need a bit of like yeah maybe he should be on the bench look at the numbers he should have been on the bench in team usa he wasn't a good enough spot-up shooter devin booker is a better spot-up shooter and then he doesn't play the d that drew plays like he should have been he's a great player who should have been not getting minutes over lebron or kd yeah his mom needs to be crazier.
I like that take. I wonder too if they hadn't won

the title would this conversation

even be happening because it was more like

I mean Tatum's a very good player. He should have probably

played more minutes than just not playing some games

but if they don't win

are people as up in arms

about not playing?

He kind of anointed himself. He's like I'm the face

of the NBA and we're like did you run that

by anyone else? Yeah. Because there's Anthony Edwards.
Yeah. Luca.
Devin Booker's a great young player. Luca.
Jalen Brunson is a great young player. People have forgotten about Giannis.
I haven't. I know you haven't because you were heavily recruiting him.
I was. And I know that I fucked up last time I was here saying he'll definitely come to the Knicks.
Yeah. And guess what? You did say that.
saying it could still happen yourself no i blame did you dm him i i dm'd his brother and i got left on red oh shit i got left on he follows me i thought it was safe so you'd help the nasus yeah i did their benefit uh a couple years ago and dude i i killed i went up and i i i got a pause break from mayor adams on an aids joke i was like i'm fucking locked in right now i did this i had this old magic johnson joke about like how uh you know my ex was like you're not crying during this breakup you cried during the magic johnson documentary and i was like you think you're in the same inspiration category you played in the all-star game with hiv you wouldn't fuck me when you had a headache and i look into the crowd of mayor adams just like this and i'm like man i'm i'm fucking crushing and i see janice and his brother in the crowd going i was like oh they're so innocent you know and then his brother was like hit me up if you're ever in greece and i was in greece and i hit him up and he just left me oh no that's tough but that's also a great move by him to be like because you know you always be like oh yeah i'll see you next time hit me up if you're in greece no one ever actually follows through except you i follow i never i never do it but i was like i'm in greece and i think he's here and i kind of want to i want to see greece with the on-tentic coupos you know yeah the way they see it yeah yeah but uh no i don't think i blew it i think you know it's he was he's loyal i think it was a really dumb decision to be loyal because dame is getting older doc is not the greatest coach in the world and brooke lopez is getting older middleton's injury prone i think this might be the year yannis complaints would i'd be shocked you wouldn't be shocked no i would be a little shocked i don't know though but like you what you just laid out and like if it doesn't go well, and they went all in on the Dame thing,

this could be the year where he's like,

what the fuck is going on here?

There's something about the European players.

They don't really, maybe it's cultural.

They just don't complain the same way that our guys have complained

the last five years that have kind of ruined the NBA in some ways.

Luka, he complains. Yeah, Luka complained.
But mostly Luka complained. But Jokic is never.
Giannis is never. Isn't that interesting? Yeah.
Giannis is, I think Jokic doesn't care enough. He's just like the great guy who's like, yeah, whatever.
He's the best dude ever. He's like, I happen to be great at basketball.
Yeah, exactly. It's like a side hustle for his horse racing.
And then Giannis is so competitive that I think part of him is like, I don want people to forget how great I am right yeah this might be the redemption year because we kind of have forgotten like if you ask people right now top five he he sometimes gets left off because he's been injured he can't be just because of what he does on agreed totally agree like he is top five but because we haven't seen you know they got bounced against the heat in the first round and then this year he was that was brutal but that's'm saying. That's why Jimmy, you have to say, in the playoffs is a superstar.
Different guy. Because what he did was insane, and it gives me no pleasure to give love to Miami fans.
Yeah. Did you take any joy watching Team USA? Because you root against most of these guys.
No, no, no. Were you able to put all that aside? It's amazing.
I'm proud to be an American. I mean, it's thing to watch lebron with barack obama gray hairs throwing down crazy dunks kd hitting fat nut closing shots against serbia steph looking like a phenom like no it was a beautiful thing i i loved it and uh no i took so much joy it also was to me like the the significance of just like it felt like an era ending you know because those guys steph le Steph, LeBron, KD, if you had to bet, would you bet any of them to win another title? I probably wouldn't.
No. Right.
So it's like kind of – Not in this current roster. Right.
It's kind of like the end of like this era of basketball for America where it's like they went out on top. The Avengers.
Right. It's literally Tony Stark dying.
Oh, spoiler. Never seen it.
Oh, fuck. Yeah.
God damn god damn it the sean mccoy wait tony i thought tony stark was the green goblin or whatever all right but uh you know uh he is a green goblin no he's that's willem dafoe oh who's who i heard has got a monster hog oh oh really yeah apparently his dick's so big large vonrier had to cut it out of a movie. He had to get a penis double, which is amazing to me that that job exists, that there's a guy just picking up a phone, like, is it too big or too little? It doesn't matter.
I'm there. Yeah, you got to scout that out in the auditions.
Put it on something tight. What is Robert Downey Jr.? What character is he going to be? He's going to be Dr.
Doom. Dr.
Doom, yeah. Is he a big Marvel guy? No, but I know that.
Yeah, we don't know anything. It pisses people off every time we talk about Marvel.
I only saw Black Panther because I'm an ally, but I haven't seen the rest of it. I didn't see Black Panther.
Really? Yeah, not an ally. It's black people.
It's so funny they got all this credit for doing that in all black cast, but it's like, dude, you did it after Ant-Man. Yeah.
Yeah, right. Yeah, you got Ant-Man first.
You got Ant-Man before the Black movie. We got to do Ant-Man first.
Paul Rudd, superhero. Okay, I guess we've conquered all the hills.
Now we can do this one. But yeah, we don't know shit about Marvel.
Yeah, I'm not a big Marvel guy, but I know that. Sounds like you kind of are.
Look, I mean, that one was fun. The Avengers one was fun.
Yeah, we wouldn't know. We didn't see it.
Yeah, so the Olympics were fun getting to root for those guys. And LeBron, he did have, he's like embracing the gray hair.
I don't know if he's going to come back and dye the beard, but it felt like he was intentionally showing, I've got gray facial hair. It was real life Uncle Drew.
Yeah. It was like, holy shit, LeBron could, it'd be so funny if he just kept playing.
If he just was on the next Olympic team and Tat tatum had to ride the bench again that would be funny just as an old like he's got gray hair he's fucking you know he's taking cialis but getting to like truly love lebron james when he's playing it was a foreign concept for me because like he's he's corny he's he's funny when you watch him try to be like take himself super seriously sometimes whether he's reading all these books that he never gets past like page two of or like catching him in a lie yeah what is that always what is the posing with the book well he read the biography of malcolm x and then they asked him like what his favorite part was and then he like pausing he's like you know all of it i just enjoyed all yeah trump yeah yeah what's your favorite part of the bible my all the past i can't pick one so like it's funny because he wants he wants to be everything to everyone. And the way he goes about that, it's an interesting insight into his mind.
Be KD. Yeah.
Be the dude who's all of us, who's just writing back to angry people. Yeah, who's just mad online.
He wins a game, and then he's just calling out people's citizenship. I loved it.
It's like 3 a.m., and he's trolling Serbia. I loved it.
After they just beat him. I love that, too.
We love KD now. But getting to root for LeBron James, it woke something up in me where I was like, maybe I've been a closeted LeBron sexual my entire life.
Wow. And maybe now I got to tell my dad, or I got to tell my mom, and she's going to be disappointed in me.
And it's like, what's this all about? What are these new feelings that I'm feeling inside? But he's great. He's fun to root for when he's your guy well it's i this is what we do i think the most i think real sports fans you don't root for the guy who's like the number one who's the anointed he's literally called king for when he was a rookie yeah i felt this way with kobe i i didn't like kobe until the end i like it's like wrestling they kind of reinvent themselves over time and then you're kind of like fuck kobe went heel for a minute then he was back it was kind of like by the end i loved kobe yeah but yeah but it takes it takes a minute yeah you're in the moment you're just like fuck this guy and then when he leaves you're like oh it's weird now all my friends were like kobe kobe's the man so i was like no fuck that i'm a spree guy i think tmack is cool i would like go for the other other guys.
Yeah. I don't want to say.
What? I think Kobe's very overrated because he's rated so high. He gets talked about like LeBron or Michael Jordan.
I don't think he's in that spot. That's a fair take.
It's tough. It's by era, really.
Right. I mean, he was that era's greatest.
But he also wasn't the best player on the three-peat team. No way.
Shaq was an absolute monster. But he went back-to-back.
Yeah. I'm going to get shit for that.
Again, it's not because he's not great. It's because he gets talked in a group that I just don't know.
There's like a hollowed group of players that are in that upper, upper, upper echelon. I think he's right behind it.
Yeah. He's also become a mindset where like if somebody goes out there and like in high school, they win like 120 to 10.
You're like, that's that mama mentality. Yeah.
Like Kobe. Or if somebody doesn't do something, if someone doesn't act like an asshole, sometimes you're like, Kobe would never do that.
Yeah. There's also moments where I do's also moments where I wish Kobe would have been there at the game.
And for the women's game. He was a big ambassador.
And he would have been staring down the other team. It would have been cool, those moments.
Isn't it kind of annoying when the guys on the bench are trying to hog the attention? When they kept panning to Mello, I'm like, Curry's the one hitting the shots. Go Curry.
Although Mello calling plays was sick. Yeah, it was fun.
Yeah, he did he did i mean mellow was the best when he was at his best when he was on the olympic he was a sixth man yeah that's what's so funny about it like these dudes are coming off the bench he's phenomenal i know mellow was awesome olympic mellow was was the coolest mellow i think yeah he just got passed by kd i like having dream on there too dream on should travel with the team yeah that was so petty he should be so bad and you know gobert's like dude enough like yeah i you choked one yeah and you're like and every and i'm a joke like everyone laughs at me yeah he dream on just still twisting that knife it gobert the hatred for gobert really does remind me when like a hat comedian blows up too much yeah and he gets paid too much money and you're just like fuck that guy you didn't give a shit about him like before he got paid he was like an afterthought but then he gets like really rich and like this guy fucking blows and then he's like i just took the money yeah like you hate me for just taking the money but we do do you think do you think hat comedians like walk around knowing that everyone hates them some of them and some of them just drink their own kool-aid they yeah they're like i'm like why would i get all this if i wasn't the greatest yeah because that would be like pretty brutal imposter syndrome to walk around being like everyone else in comedy hates me but i'm selling out arenas yeah i mean it's there's worse lives yeah yeah you're selling out arenas you're probably having a good life yeah true you can delude yourself into anything. I don't think Rudy Gobert should be unhappy.
No. Although deep down, like somewhere, he's probably like, man, I wish anyone respected me.
I wish I was in the church. It sucks when all the bigs are shitting on you.
Like, you know, Shaq and all these guys are like, this guy sucks, you know? And you're kind of like, Shaq, you should be a little un this is you know but that's kind of funny that he's not Draymond's hatred of him it does stem from jealousy that's the thing it's like because he's got four dpo why I know that's the problem it's like you have that success that's why you should just never have too much success because then everyone's going to shit on you like if he just had two defensive player of the years because then he wins one and then they go to the playoffs it's like this is your defensive player of the year yeah it's like he should just give one back he should say i don't want it this year that you know what if he takes himself out of it yeah that's actually the smart that's what i would do if i were him he plays really well against shitty players yeah shitty offenses and so he like pads his stats a little bit then sometimes the playoffs you see him get exposed cooked by good players. So just, yeah, just let some shitty players get some more points against you this year.
Take yourself out of the running that way. Yeah.
It's smart. And also, yeah, I'm sure the French thing for some reason isn't helping.
There's a lot of problems. Oh, the French thing is always, we're always going to hate French people.
And we will blame him for COVID too. Holy shit.
But just kind of like wrong place, wrong time. But he- Yeah, but he mocked it.
He came back and he like touched every microphone and then they're like, yeah, it turns out he did have COVID and now we have to cancel all of basketball. Yeah, I'm now thinking about it.
Wemby's going to be a great test of like how much do we hate French people? Nah, he's already beloved. Yeah, no, I'm saying like he's going to supersede that.
The fact that he cried too when they lost. Yeah, I love that.
I love that. He could be the best best ever yeah no i it's insane problem i think flag flag's next up the main event i'm excited about that i've already set my tanking watch on that i want cooper flag in dc that that would be cool man you guys are making weird moves the valenshounis one i kind of i i like what we're doing though because we at least have a plan now for years the plan the plan is basically tank and try to just turn everything over.
But for years, it was like finish 10th in the East, and then maybe one year we'll get in as an 8th seed, and we'll get booked. But post-John Wall, there hasn't been a lot of actionable plan going on in D.C.
But we got the guy from Oklahoma City running the front office. He at least knows what what he's doing then we got kuzma and jordan pool which i think are great players to have if you're trying to lose you know like it give the keys to a franchise of jordan pool let him go out there and do his thing and naturally you will lose a shitload of games he'll get his points he'll go like 10 for 40 shooting but at least there's a plan now that's all i can ask for that's fair yeah i was i was hammered at a game once and i was just yelling at john wall and i was just like man you fucking you got fat you let yourself go and he and he turned and looked at me and i was like oh jesus christ and then years later he writes this book about depression i'm like oh i fucking hate myself oh he turned it on you i gotta dial it back man yeah you were just being a good fan though i was trying to be good because you but i do notice them now when people are going a little too hard i'm like i'm getting i can tell i'm getting older because i'm like ah that was kind of yeah take it down a notch yeah if you become the take it down a notch guy you're getting older i mean i've done it like at restaurants where i'm like can you turn down the music a little what the fuck yeah i actually can't hear when every pill you take is a downer yeah they know you're like whatever makes it tomorrow let's fucking wrap it up that kid getting in uh lebron's face after they won the gold do you see that he needs to take it down a notch yeah what he did well he just went he went up to lebron on the streets of paris and wanted a picture and lebron was like not now kid and kind of pushed him out of the way wow and then he started dancing and then he started dancing so people that hate lebron james will be like look what a disgusting human being lebron james is michael jordan would never treat a child like that michael jordan was kind to every kid that he ever met in his entire life i've found some like really good hater lebron accounts that i follow just so i can get my hate up so yeah i'm not a fan i've never been a guy like he's a i love that he's on team usa and and I root for him there, but I'm not a LeBron guy.
Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's basically, it's probably the most, like, cut and dry, either you're a bronze sexual or you're not.
Like, there aren't people who are like, I don't know, I'm still waiting for year 21. He's on the fence.
You're coming all stripes. It's like your college years.
It's weird shit. I'm experimenting with LeBron right now.
He went abroad. I always told, I was taught growing up, naturally, you're supposed to love the Washington Wizards.
A man loves the Washington Wizards. And I've thought that I've loved the Washington Wizards, but now I tried LeBron and I think I like LeBron.
Yeah. It was pretty fun.
You went abroad for a couple weeks and then you came back and you're like, I kind of like that. Add another stripe to the flag for us bronze sexuals.
Representation matters. I hate the L lakers too that's another part of the problem is like it's just an unlikable franchise and and i've always felt that way i mean look it was in looking back they're great for the sport obviously kobe shack those years were awesome but like have you had any like self-reflection where you're like the lakers are the yankees of course okay because like that's the the two franchises that do the oh he'll be a laker soon oh he'll be a yankee someday yeah that's the two like shining examples of it where they and they're usually right we're like oh yeah free agent will come here yeah no problem now the yankees it is complicated for me because i grew up because my grandfather was a yankees fan so i grew up just watching like bernie williams and paul o'neill on his lap you know yeah and then you get older and everyone's like these are the fuck and you're like it's too late yeah i'm a fan yeah you know yeah and the yankees history is awesome yeah it is especially all the world series they won before they let black players play that's true it's a lot of them yeah there's a lot of them they're really good now though i was watching a babe ruth documentary and it was and it was literally just old white men yeah who were just like it was like one sentence about how he walked out and his wife and adopted kid and it was like he walked out on the family babe ruth was one of the kindest people i've ever been around you know he was he was a gentleman i'm like can you just say he walked that was one sentence yeah every other sentence was like what he did for those cancer-stricken children was the lord's work have you seen the theory that babe ruth could possibly be dominican i love that one he looks a little bit yeah right and it's just like this would this would throw like all the old sports writers into a tizzy being like yeah he was dominican it's so the sports writers is such a weird because i've watched the pete rose doc too and it is weird like clearly pete rose is not a good human like if you want to keep him at the hall of fame you want to keep him at the hall of fame do it for the statutory rape not the gambling yeah that's such a weird line to draw in the sand like you got ty cobbin who's pushing pregnant women downstairs although ty cobb had a little bit of a like when who was it oh was it? Oh, it was when they brought all the Negro League, like, records into MLB, and there was a lot of, like, Ty Cobb discourse, and I had no idea, but, like, Ty Cobb essentially got completely slandered by this one writer who wrote a biography about him that just made up shit.
Like, everything you know. But he did beat his wife.
Yeah, but, like, there's, like, the beating like a handicapped person and like him being like a crazy racist like none of that was true which is nuts wait did he did he like babe ruth i don't know that'll tell us that's you was dominican or not but it was it was eye-opening to be like wait how did this happen that like one person wrote a book about ty cobb and then we just were told ty cob was one of the worst humans ever, and a lot of it was just made up.

I'm not vouching for Ty Cobb, but it was crazy to read about it and be like, wait, this guy just made up a lot of this stuff?

That's what you could do as a writer in the old days.

Right.

He had a vendetta.

I'll destroy you in my column.

Yeah.

That was the power.

I mean, there's a story about Joe DiMaggio leaving a hotel room after he just banged someone and he sees i think it was walter winchell on the on the street and he just looked at him like fuck this guy's gonna write a piece on me i'm gonna get trash or like poon hunting on the road and he just looked at him he goes win today and i won't write about this and they won't he played the best game pretty cool having your biggest hater become your biographer is an all-time bad move bad move i don't want that yeah but credit to that guy for at least like having a vendetta and like i'm gonna i'm gonna ruin this guy for the rest of eternity yeah if you if you pulled a hundred like sports fans like ty cobb bad guys like yeah the worst really yeah i bet he wasn't a good no that's what i'm saying i'm not vouching for him but i just it was crazy to read it and be like wait this guy made up a lot of these stories that we walk around being like you know ty cobb would go spikes up on everyone yeah that's is that not true i think a lot of it is made up i don't know i feel like most good players would try to like yeah like the second baseman back then yeah it wasn't just him yeah and there was also that story you know the mickey mantle story about when he got head underneath the right field bleachers? Is that true? Yeah, he wrote like a thank you note or something. What was the exact story behind that? I'll find it.
I'll find it. Look that up.
I thought that was Daryl Strawberry for some reason. Because back in the day, like sports writers, we were told growing up that baseball is the most poetic sport.
They wrote about it in the most flowery terms ever. A day at the ballpark is nothing like anything else you'll ever experience.
They wrote about all the baseball players like they were gentlemen. No, Mickey Mantle was getting his dick sucked underneath the right field bleachers at Yankee Stadium during a game.
So the Yankees hit up Mickey Mantle and were like, the 50th anniversary is coming up. Can you please write something about being a Yankee? And the prompt was, I consider the following my outstanding experience at Yankee Stadiumkee Stadium and he wrote I got a blow job under the right field bleachers by the Yankee bullpen and then this event occurred on or about he got sucked off by all the middle he said it was about the third inning third or fourth inning I had a pulled groin and couldn't focus at the time she was a very nice girl and asked me what to do with the cum After i came in her mouth i said don't ask me i'm no cocksucker wow y'all american poetic yeah i don't know is that true that that's got to be a real letter right i think it's sold an auction pretty crass for don't don't ask me i'm not a cocksucker what is he like a tulsa oklahoma boy yeah what a line yeah oh man and then doing it there's a star next to he signed it mickey mantle star and then underneath the star he starred and said the all-american boy i love that had a sense of humor yeah so are they back are the yankees fully back i don't know man it's hard to tell that that trade was pretty big uh you know but i don't know man i pitching is everything in the playoffs so we'll see yeah it feels like the yankees just do the same thing every year yeah a million home runs and they get to the playoffs like shit those are never the teams that win it all except maybe the astros have a lot of power but but they have pitching too yeah and they do the little things too yeah we'll see like cheating yeah baseball is such a weird sport where you can be by far the best team and then in the playoffs it's just about who's hot at that yeah but hockey is the same way yeah hockey you're a big hockey guy you get a hockey goalie standing on his head then any team can win yeah but yeah baseball playoffs it's like pitching and then if you get like two guys that just catch fire out of nowhere then it like we saw the diamondbacks in the world series last year yeah crazy shit happens yeah but it is fun to see like yankees do the same thing get to the playoffs same thing happens aaron boone okay come back next year yeah you know yeah i wonder how long they're gonna let him uh hold the reins you know he's got blackmail he's got him and cashman have to have blackmail i feel like i've been hearing about them getting fired every year for the last five years you just don't want to waste aaron judge's prime because this is fucking insane what you're doing yeah and he's just a beast yeah um all right well sam this has been awesome uh i got a roback question last question rhoback.com promo code take 20 off your first purchase qsips polos hoodies joggers shorts rob.
We were talking about it earlier, but for people who don't know, one of my favorite things that Sam does is he goes on local early morning talk shows, news shows, and just bombs on purpose. So are we worried that it's getting too big that it's going to be like you can't do this anymore? Yeah, for sure you said it you know back there you're like you might have to go international i've tried it's not a big thing internationally i'm trying i'm doing baltimore tv this week so i hope i hope i fingers crossed yeah it's tough though you got to have the getaway car waiting for you got to have the car outside like i always say it's like a bank robbery so so when did it start uh pittsburgh is where it started because i was like in a bad mood when you're a young comic you're required to do morning tv it's in the contract they don't give you a door deal so you're like this is just for the club that they're making me do it i i don't see another cent from this so you after you do it for like a decade you start to get a little bitter and i was kind of like you know what fuck this so in the middle of it i just kind of snap she they never do research so it's like the corniest shit no one who's watching this is going to come to my show right like you know people who are like you know soccer moms or something who just will not find me funny so it's like the only way this is selling tickets is if i just burn a hole so i think the question she asked was uh so when did you first catch the funny bug? Have you always been funny? And I was like, no, but when I was young, I was molested by my uncle and he was funny.
So I kind of caught the powers like in Spider-Man. And she just kind of paused and was like, okay, I don't know what to do with that.
And I left and I remember asking them for the tape, the producer, and she just looked at me and she goes, get out. Dumb.
Now you've been doing it. I see the clips.
They're so fucking funny. Well, I realized people started sharing that to the point that I was like, I guess I should do that.
I guess I should start doing morning TV. And then it just got bad every time to the point that I was like, I guess I'll just keep doing this.
Is there an art to bombing? Yeah, it's fun. I mean, look, there's no really killing on those shows either there's no right so it's just like i'm kind of i'm playing for whoever's watching i'm not playing for who's in the room but uh they don't want i've noticed though they don't want you to come off as like they're the guy there they don't the guys are the more insecure ones the women are usually really cool but the guys are kind of like no i'm the big i'm the big shot around here i'm the funny one yeah you see them try to be funnier like you ain't the funny one i'll tell you that yeah so i remember going on there and just rattling them and saying shit they can't say so i'm like you know if i'm making like a pedo joke on like you know some mbc affiliate in in philadelphia the guy's like what the fuck is happening like i can't do that so uh it just started taking off i don't know it's it's it's weird it's it's the perfect bit too because the like those people those broadcasters are trained to smile through everything exactly and like they have to be cheery and they have to be bubbly and then you just drop like yeah i was i was raped by my uncle and they just have to be like oh there were people who thought that was true someone like messaged me like hell yeah speaking truth to power taking your pain and making it funny i'm like oh that's not true i was just trying to ruin the segment spider-man part of it people thought it was real yeah and then uh yeah it's it's just funny that they have to be so scripted like they anything that's off script on those shows is like they're like what do i do right used to that they panic so so it's just funny to watch it go off the rails it's so good i have a publicist who's like losing sleep over these because i can't book them i can't cold email them so she gets the hate she gets they'll be like why'd you do this why'd you send this guy here but the funny thing is they don't remember she's like now you're ruining it for my clients who like take it seriously who want to go on she'll email them a month later and they'll be like we had some guy come on a month ago and and pretend that columbus ohio has a human trafficking crisis and he wouldn't let it go and she's like that's disgusting someone would and they just let her know other clients they don't no one remembers so you know it ends up working out but she's uh yeah she just messaged me she's like i've upped my xanax i what are you gonna do that people get mad i did one in buffalo from the delta lounge i put like duct tape over gary veder who tours with me's mouth and i pretended he's my gim sex slave i just kept saying like he's not my gim sex slave and the guy in buffalo was like all right well that's the segment for today like he just they abruptly cut it off and then rachel feinstein who's like one of my best friends was in buffalo and he's like do you know sam around she's like oh he's like my best friend he's like i hate that guy he brought a gimp sex slave on the segment and i was like oh yeah you can't tell these people that we're friends they they all hate me clearly said he wasn't his good yeah it's been more clear you weren't listening but yeah so then we do uh we do that and then uh it it's like the thing I look forward to most,

my comic friends like Starverse is always like,

what are you doing waking up at 7 a.m. after a gig?

And I'm like, I've learned to love it.

Yeah.

It's like a challenge.

I love it.

It's so fun.

It goes south a lot.

It will sometimes just not work at all.

But for the times it does work, it's worth burning a hole in the room. Yeah, definitely.
Are you going to do that in the Netherlands? I wonder if I can get on stuff. International's tougher.
I tried to do it in, because look, when they roll with me sometimes, it's great too. You know, if they just play, there was a woman for Texas who just, she got it and she played along.
And it was funny, her straight manning me to everything I said. then uh we tried in australia and they didn't really they they were too big of fans of it that it didn't work like they were like cheering me on for every awful thing i said like well it's not funny when you guys are like doing you know yeah yeah but yeah they're they're not as scripted as american tv that's all the comments are like oh what is this that you guys do in america i was like oh i didn't know this wasn't a thing oh it's so good in the uk or whatever but yeah australia is more just like all the news yeah you know oh so yeah no go ahead oh no i mean you go on like i would go on like msnbc and stuff and it would be like guys who are you know big and they don't want you to like i'd go on like ari melber and he would just like like he would like set me up for a joke and then just like watch it bomb and just like stare at me and be like so why is that funny i'm like well apparently it's not i don't i don't think it's i guess it wasn't i don't know and he's just like huh it's like they don't want it's weird like they want you on and then they kind of like try to psychoanalyze they try to they don't know how to deal with jokes because he it's live so i think you know then i just like went into epstein jokes and he was like all's go to break, you know.
Yeah, because if you're hosting a morning show or if you're hosting a TV show, your job is usually not to be an audience. Exactly.
So then all of a sudden he's supposed to just like laugh and be a normal human being. I would hope so.
Yeah. I guess he isn't.
Yeah. It's just not programmed for that.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, Sam, thank you so much.
Yeah. Everyone go see.
We're going to probably air this in the next week and a half okay so where are you going after baltimore well yeah i got uh i'm in new brunswick new jersey working on new jokes at the stress factory then i got uh ontario uh casino and then uh and then i'm off to europe all over europe so like paris amsterdam london belfast dublin copenhagen i don't Copenhagen. We got to see you on international TV.
I don't know if you guys have good listenership in Oslo. We do.
We do. My fucking numbers there stink.
Oslo, come on. Oslo, let's go.
And then, yeah, I got the new special, You've Changed on Amazon Prime. It's one of my favorite ones I've done, so I hope you guys like it.
It's perfect because all of our fans do have Amazon Prime

because we've got to watch football.

Fuck yeah, dude.

Yeah, so it's a perfect marriage there.

All right, thanks so much, Sam.

Appreciate it.

Thank you, guys.

Sam was brought to you by our great friends at Mountain Dew.

Love Mountain Dew.

We've got a big cooler of Mountain Dew right here.

I was drinking some Code Reds earlier today.

I was drinking Code Reds and Baja Blast yesterday. I had an OG Mountain Dew around the campfire at night last night.
Mountain Dew is great. It helps us get off our ass.
Mountain Dew will get you off your ass. You got bold flavors, a refreshing citrus kick.
Mountain Dew will get you off your ass. Have you feeling like you're on an actual mountain? Mountain where the weather is always perfect.
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Grab your friends. Grab an ice-cold Mountain Dew, wherever refreshing beverages are sold, and do the Dew.
Fyre Fest is brought to you by Morgan & Morgan. Welcome back.
It's another Fyre do the do fire fest is brought to you by morgan and morgan welcome back it's another fire fest of the week it's brought to you by our great friends at morgan and morgan you know what really stinks sitting next to a guy who's farting the entire time it literally stinks it's a stinky thing to do stinky thing to experience you know what else really sucks having your boys all go at you because you're trying to give to charity but you know that's the cross that you bear sometimes when you're trying to be a charitable person but you know what else really sucks? Having your boys all go at you because you're trying to give to charity. But, you know, that's the cross that you bear sometimes when you're trying to be a charitable person.
But you know what doesn't stink? Calling Morgan Morgan. They can help get you what you deserve.
They can't help a cranky co-host that tries to drag you down to the depths of oblivion through a sour mood. But they can help fight to get you full and fair compensation when you're injured their fee is free unless they win for more information go to for the people.com slash pmt or dial pound law pound five two nine from your cell phone okay fire fest the week time hank breaking news oh breaking news breaking news what do we got we have-divisional, inter-podcast trade.
There's been a trade. A rare in-division trade.
Washington is... Matthew Judon to the Bears? Washington is sending former first-round pick Jahan Dotson and a fifth-round pick to the Eagles in exchange for a 2025 third-round pick and two seventh-round picks per sources.
Fleeced. What do we think, Max? The commander's got fleeced.
Agreed. What round did you draft him in? We drafted him the first round.
Oh. What did you get back? Not a lot last year.
What did you get back? He had a bad season last year. Apparently hasn't looked good in training camp.
Who's his quarterback? We got Martavis Bryant.

Sam Howell.

Okay.

Yeah.

We got Martavis Bryant now.

I'm excited.

Wait.

Yeah.

Martavis Bryant hasn't played in the league in like 10 years.

Yeah.

Remember when he did that somersault catch?

I have a question though, PFT.

Wouldn't you want your rookie quarterback to have more weapons?

We got plenty of weapons.

Okay.

I'm just saying.

Martavis Bryant. Martavis Bryant.
That would be the only part that would make me nervous. Are you taking away a wide receiver? I like Jahad Dotson.
A Penn State fan who's a beast at Penn State. Good wide receiver three.
Give up a third. Get back a fifth.
You needed a wide receiver three too, right? Big time. Yeah.
So wide receiver three for a third round pick,

that sounds like a good deal to me.

Well, he was your, what wide receiver was he for you?

But we can't, well, he was fighting for the second spot.

No, he was not guaranteed that second spot.

It was like a competition.

He was, I think, losing that competition.

To who?

Let's see.

Martavius Bryant?

Martavius Bryant, possibly.

No, it's actually a former Eagle, Zaccheus. So we got rid of him.
Yeah. And he was our fourth last year.
Yeah, and now we got him, and he's thriving in our system. Yep.
Fleeced. Fleeced.
Fleeced. Somebody got fleeced.
Yep. Someone got fleeced.
We'll find out later. We're not going to find out until the end of the season who got fleeced.
But I can tell that this was a – between this and the Cooper to Gene trade, someone's going to get fleeced. We're fleecing the Eagles big time.
You're a bunch of bald Eagles over there. Got fleeced so hard.
That's good. Thank you.
It smells so bad in here. Hank, you're fire fast.
Hmm. I hadn't thought about that.
No, I mean, I have a few. It's been remedied, so I don't know that it really counts.
It was over the weekend. Also, I've been just sleeping in a hard-shelled taco this week.
It's been fun, but it's camp. You can't really complain about camp.
That's just kind of what you get. A hard-shelled concave no his bed is broken his bed is the first day there was all their beds in our bunk that's true you could have just slept on a different bed or you could have swapped the beds but yeah the first day it comes up to me and he's like is your bed like inverted like this and i went and i looked at it and it literally looked like the trampoline yesterday like the middle of it was just sinking to the floor you're sleeping in a taco i think there were three other mattresses that weren't being used i don't think it was the mattress i think it was the the frame the frame yeah you've had trouble it was ultimately like i'll fix it tomorrow then by the time it's bedtime i was like i'll just sleep on it so.
So it's really my own fault. Did you sleep on a bed that had fucked up slats for like nine months? Yeah, for like three months.
I actually found that picture today. It wasn't even the slats.
It was the construction of the bed. That's neither here nor there.
Who made the bed? Me. I was basically sleeping like downwards.
Like I was doing like decline sleeping with blood just rushing to my head every night um i also had an issue with my stove over the weekend that i like it wasn't working it had an error message you know give me the number to call so i called and they told me i had to mess with my you know circuit circuit breaker board and my circuit breaker board wasn't labeled so the lady was just having me turn things on turn things off I finally fixed the stove accidentally killed all the power in my bedroom hallway and like the AC so I didn't have and then no one was working my building till Monday so I had to sleep like in my living room on the couch with a fan like at my face for two nights Jesus. Jesus Hank.
But I fixed it. Yeah, we fixed it.
So you just haven't been, you've been sleeping either in like a hot room with a fan or in a taco. Yeah.
So I'm excited to get back tonight and sleep normally. Get that, get that AC bust.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. All right.
PFT. My fire fast of the week is, I mean, it's been a fun week.
I don't have a lot to complain about because going to summer camp is it's fun. And getting to hang out with boys and basically just play play sports all day.
Competitive games all day has been a great time. The first night we got here, we got in a little bit late and it was myself is actually all of PMT.
And then the Boston guys came in with us. So we get to our bunks.
We set up. I believe, Hank, were you passing out mouth tape or was Big Cat passing out mouth tape? Not me.
Will Compton. Will Compton.
I was too. I saw a mouth tape.
Yeah, so everybody, I did not use mouth tape. I'm afraid, like, I'm asleep.
I sneeze. I don't know what that's going to be like.
I don't want to tape my mouth before I go to sleep. But everybody had it.
We're going to bed and we're all sending pictures in the group chat to each other of us with mouth tape on. Fast forward a couple days, we're watching Hard Knocks and there was one TV that was set up.
We're seated in this very, very dark room. All the lights were out, just the TV was on.
And it was a lot of people from Barstool and a lot of people that are counselors here at the camp that were watching Hard Knocks with us. And during that Hard Knocks, I was posting a picture that I'd just taken of the TV with Caleb Williams on it with us interviewing Caleb to promote the show, being like, tomorrow's part of my take.
And I'm taking out my phone. I'm going through my photos to select those pictures.
And there's some other photos that are in my phone that are saved right next to it. The guy, one of the counselors looks over my shoulder at my phone as I'm selecting the pictures of Caleb from hard knocks.
And he's staring at my phone and then he's looking at me. I'm like, Oh shit, he saw something else.
So when we're passing it, when we're sending all these pictures from the mouth tape incident on Monday night to each other, I respond to the group chat with a picture of my balls. And I said- Naked balls.
Naked balls. And I said, oh shit, guys, I think I just got bit by a bug.
Classic bit with the boys, but the counselor that was sitting next to me just saw like three pictures of your balls. I had to get the lighting right.
He saw three pictures of my balls on my phone, and he just thinks that I've got nudes for days saved on my phone. Of your balls.
Of my balls. Never look at another man's phone.
And he gave me quite a look. It was partially confused.
Actually, like'm like, hey, I was just sending my balls to the boys.

So you turned on?

I was maybe like, ooh.

He didn't touch my leg or anything afterwards, but I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know, but it was a little bit embarrassing for me.

So I guess that's the worst thing that happened to me this week.

That's not that bad.

Yeah, that's not that bad.

Some guy just thinks that I have a lot of pictures of my balls on my phone.

Yeah.

He doesn't realize you sent it to your boys.

It was to send to other men.

It was a very funny picture.

It's not like I'm gay or anything.

Yeah, it was a very funny picture. Okay, I'm going to cede my firefest because I've had a great time this week.
I had nothing bad happen. Knock on wood.
We were on hard knocks. We've been at summer camp.
Can't complain. Living the dream.
Got a blessed life. I'll cede my firefest to my good friend, Max.
Max, do you have a firefest this week? Yeah, I got a little bit of a cough from the camp, I think. Yeah? What about when you were competing in any of the events? Did you take anything too seriously and then have your team win so you were the guy who shoved the ref in a win? No, I actually, yeah.
What happened? Big Cat was saying it all week that we week that we like don't get think about it like if you get too competitive you're gonna regret it you're gonna regret it i had the most instant regret i think i've ever had in my time here at barstool there's a there's a line yeah there's a line when we do these events or these activities where I get competitive. Everyone should be competitive.
But if you take it too far, you then come across as the guy who's just being a hard-o. I smashed that line.
Like, absolutely smashed it. And it was one of those things where I smashed it so hard, and then I took, like, 30 seconds, and it was like, holy shit, what did I just do? explain to the people okay this is what happened we're it was the final event it was the the championship of the week yeah so some may say there is some tactics to get it to get in my head there were some taxes tactics to get in the referee's head i think the person who was doing those tactics did a good job of getting in both parties heads.
He's referring to me in this situation. I somehow got into both of their heads with one sentence.
Yep. Yep.
It's very true. I thought the referee was taking the words from Big Cat and purposely trying to screw you over.
Screw me over. And I...
I think the worst part was the throw. Max took an egg and basically recreated the Billy football, wiffle ball throw.
And then shoved Rico. When he just spiked the ball into the ground.
Max, what were you so upset about? He thought so what happened was the Rico wasn't throwing him good enough Rico had to throw eggs to Max and as the event was about to start I said to Rico uh because I was on the other team I said Rico remember all the things we talked about this morning and then I was basically the uh uncle from the godfather 2 showing up to the courtroom just being like, hey, I'm here. And Max was like, well, Rico, don't you take your integrity as a ref very seriously? And I just yelled, he takes his career even more serious.
And then it was just on. The two of them were locked in mental warfare that I had started.
And Max pushed Rico, yelled at him, threw an egg at him. The egg.

And they ended up winning.

Yeah.

So, Max, basically, it boils down to the fact that Rico was throwing eggs too high into the air.

Play the clip.

And so they were far.

So then you shoved them.

Just the sound of the clip, of the end of the clip.

Max.

Oh, don't take off the headphones, Max.

That's bullshit.

Max was putting his fingers in his ears like a toddler at dinner last night when we kept on playing look at him right now he looks like a fire truck's coming

i mean that's fucking horse shit you know. You didn't do that shit at all.
He got so Italian. That's horse shit and you know it.
It was horse shit. It was horse shit.
I'm sorry. I think I've apologized to rico like 60 times in the past day and to his credit he didn't care at all of course he didn't he was like he was like dude i didn't mean to throw him that far i was like dude i'm apologize like i overreacted so much he was like i didn't mean to throw him that far like i'm just tired just tired.
And I'm like, me and Rico are good.

Rico is like game, respect, game.

I know where you're coming from.

I would have done the same thing.

Yeah.

So I think that was something that I regret very deeply.

I've been super anxious about it the past.

You're fine, Max.

24 hours, and it's just, I'm going to have to just.

If anyone should apologize, it should be me for getting in both your heads with one simple sentence. I'm not going to apologize, but if anyone should, it would be me.
But you're... I said that.
That was your Magna Carta. It's just like me and Rico, like the two people.
Wait, what? That was his what? Magna Carta, is that not right? Magnum Opus. No, I essentially was...
I was the Joker just walking by and just throwing... Magna Carta, Holy Grail.
I was throwing a lit match right in between the two of them, and they both just were on fire yelling at each other. Well, he didn't yell to his credit.
He just threw eggs crazy. Yeah.
The eggs were thrown high into the air. It was the distance.
Why you got mad. I know.
You're mad because Rico threw bad eggs. I know.
It's so bad.

In a game where they ended up winning.

Yeah.

All right, Huey, wrap us up.

My fire fest is I haven't taken a shit since I've gotten here.

What?

And I don't know what's going on.

Wait, what?

I don't know what's going on.

I've eaten every day, three meals, vet snacks.

Don't know what's going on.

Is your body just telling you like you're in a bad place right now?

We need to concern. Maybe you're operating so efficiently that you're not creating any waste.
I've done this as a kid before where we've gone on trips and I just, I'll pee fine. Everything else works.
What the fuck? Don't poop for like four days. Oh, I forgot to say too, one of the craziest things that came out of camp was I don't know if you saw this BFT but I think it happened multiple times if you walked by on the basketball court it was just memes and Shane playing two on one versus Huey and it was insane to watch it got up to four on one it was was just four on one.
They were just like bullying him. He would never touch the ball because it was two on one.
The editors look like they are Harlem Globetrotters out there. He was just floundering around trying to stop.
And I walked by actually before last night when Mames literally was like, Huey, you ready for some two-on-one?

Like, they're still doing this?

Yeah, it's his own sport.

It was so funny.

It's like a time game.

How quickly can you get to 11 points against Huey?

It gets a lot.

I won one of the games.

What?

And I was within one shot on three of them.

What?

How?

I could shoot.

Oh.

Every time I would shoot it, I'd yell, Kate.

Caitlin?

Yeah. He goes, I'm her.
All right. So, Huey, you got to shit, man.
Yeah. Before you get on this bus.
I ate some fruit this morning. Seemed to have done more damage than anything I've eaten so far.
So have you shit? No, not yet. But I've.
Have you had coffee? No. I'm not a coffee guy.
Drink some coffee. That would probably be new to my system.

Yeah, if you drink a cup of coffee and you've never drank coffee,

that's going to run through you like it's going through a goose.

I'm also a little scared of these bathrooms, and I don't know if that's just... They're fine.

Yeah, they're okay.

Now, I understand what Hugh...

I think your body is just anxious.

I think since you know that you're away from home base...

There's a comfortability.

There's a comfortability.

Your body knows to shut it down until you get back into like a situation where you're

comfortable pooping.

Yeah.

Something's up, but we're going to be all right.

Huey, you want to finish this cup of coffee?

It's just a little bit of coffee.

Sure.

Sure.

I'll give it a shot.

Okay.

Well.

We got to have you shitting, Huey.

Yeah, we do.

It's part of your job description. Yeah, we job description give him a sticker when he's done okay next week football week fully fully I know there's four games Saturday which we'll talk about on Monday but full football week we're going to prep everyone for week one of college football we got some great guests lined.
So let's kick it to ourselves back in studio with numbers.

Love you guys.

Okay, let's wrap up the week.

Let's do some numbers.

56.

8.

20.

Go 97 pug.

Juan.

21.

What was that?

1.

Juan? Juan? Juan. 21.
What was that? Juan. Juan? Juan? Juan.
I'm sorry. What is that? I think it's 86.
86. You thought it was 56? No, I thought it was 98.
Yeah, I forgot he did 97. Max, Mad Men mean, I don't think about you, okay? I mean, you literally only pick my two numbers.
Whoa, they're my two numbers.

And you start off every single one of

these asking if I've ever gotten it.

Have you ever gotten the lottery ball? I've gotten the numbers.

Have you ever gotten either? I've never

gotten the lottery ball. No, not on this machine.

The lottery ball is all that matters, and you know

that.

You know that.

I got the number.

Love you guys. Come on, Harryry we want to say good night to you

I'm talking away, while I'm moving, I'm just saying that saves anyway Today's the night, the days I find you shying away

I'll be coming for your lover, King, King Today is enough, the days I find you shying away

I'll be coming for your lover, okay?

Take on me

Take me on

I'll be gone

The day of change Needless to say I'm on set ends But I'll be stoned right away So the little life is okay Say unto me Is it better to save the sun? Take on your heart Bye. Bye.
Take on me. Are you shying away? I'll be coming through anyway

Take on me

Take me on

I'll be gone

In a deep Energy I'll be good in a day Thank you.