Will Compton, Comedian Sam Morril, Mt Rushmore Of Orange Things And The Finale Of Barstool Summer Camp

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
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Speaker 1 On today's Pardon My Take, we have the finale of Pardon My Take a Camp. And we've got two great interviews for the people.
We have our good friend Will Compton, sober this time.

Speaker 1 to talk a little football, get us excited for college football, some funny stories from his NFL days.

Speaker 1 And then we have comedian Sam Murrell, our friend, who was on a year ago, pretty much a year ago today,

Speaker 1 back in studio. We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of orange things.

Speaker 1 It's getting tight. We have four Mount Rushmores left.

Speaker 1 We're going to maybe do a

Speaker 1 we're going to start the show maybe reading some headlines because there's not a lot going on and we've also been at camp.

Speaker 1 And then we are going to do Firefest of the Week, which you will not want to miss.

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Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch sauce only at McDonald's for a limited time.

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Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 let's go.

Speaker 1 No place to hang out on washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can't play all on the sun. Oh, no, we're gonna rock it down to electric avenue.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to electricity. Part of my take

Speaker 1 presented by barstove.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take presented by DraftKings. Score big with DraftKings all-college football season.
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The crown is yours. Today is Friday, August 23rd.
And boys, I am the sorest man alive.

Speaker 4 Yeah, football's back, too.

Speaker 1 Football is back.

Speaker 4 But yeah, very, very sore this morning. Every part of my body, really.
We were in the water yesterday, and when you swim, you use muscles that you don't know that you have. And yeah,

Speaker 4 my back is sore, arms are sore, shoulders are sore.

Speaker 1 My soul is sore. I wanted to do, I was talking to

Speaker 1 our good friend Rudy, who works with us, and I was like, I'm so sore. And he's like, I'm sore than you.

Speaker 1 And I thought in my head, we should, next year when we come to camp, the last day we should do a sore relay race that is just simply like picking things up off the ground, sitting in a chair, getting out of the chair,

Speaker 1 like reaching in the back seat for something.

Speaker 4 I think that the getting out of the chair, it shouldn't be like timed. It should be judged on merit.
So like the noise that you make when you get up.

Speaker 1 Belly flop.

Speaker 4 How many parts of your body crack?

Speaker 1 Right. It's the belly flop.
You have three judges watch you get out of a chair and like, you know, like the sounds, the angles,

Speaker 1 maybe, you know, touch your toes.

Speaker 1 The sore relay race would play.

Speaker 4 And absolutely no stretching beforehand. So it's just pure 100% your body at that time.

Speaker 4 My body now, when I stand up, it makes cracks in places that aren't joints. I don't know what's going on.

Speaker 1 I think I've had like a sprained or a broken thumb for about three weeks now. Yeah.
But it's one of those things where I don't know when it happened. So I can't see a doctor because they'll be like,

Speaker 1 why is your thumb hurt? And I think my best

Speaker 1 guess would be playing video games. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't

Speaker 1 think that's the only time I probably would have injured it.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Can you get carpal tunnel in places that aren't your wrist? I think my body has just gross carpal tunnel. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I think as a podcast, though, we could beat pretty much any other podcast in a swimming relay.

Speaker 1 Are you sure about that? As long as

Speaker 1 we showed some impressive skills. If you backstraps, would it matter, though,

Speaker 1 about going straight?

Speaker 1 That would probably matter. Yeah, like maybe if we had an app where it's distance covered, so if you veer off, kind of like you did, Hank.

Speaker 4 Like three times in a row.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no.

Speaker 4 You looked like Pat Mahomes Sr. trying to drive.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You were a blind person in the water. Well, yeah, yeah, I couldn't see.
Yeah, but it was quite something. But yeah,

Speaker 1 we're a water podcast. Maybe we should get more into the Olympics next four years from now.

Speaker 4 Water Dogs.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we are the Water Dogs who have been eliminated. They were the first team already?

Speaker 1 They got eliminated like three weeks ago, dude.

Speaker 4 We got to figure out what's going on there.

Speaker 1 We won a game after we got eliminated and our social team was like, look at this. We could finally get a win.
It's like, yeah, we could have used that a month ago.

Speaker 4 It was an embarrassment of a season. As owners, we don't tolerate that.
We don't like losing.

Speaker 4 If me and Big Cat cared enough to be at the games, we would be like Arthur Blank and we'd be down on the sidelines standing behind the coaches glaring at him. Yes.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 should we do some read some headlines? Because we have been at summer camp.

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We've got a great, great video that's going to come up.

Speaker 4 I don't know when it's going to be out. We haven't even taped it yet, but Huey is going to learn how to swim.

Speaker 1 Yes. Huey famously, when we asked him if he could swim before surfing in the Pacific Ocean, said,

Speaker 1 I kind of can swim.

Speaker 4 I think he said, I think I can swim.

Speaker 1 He said, I think I can swim. I haven't swim in seven or eight years, but I think I can swim.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah. We know Huey's not a witch because he's going to sink.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Quick read a headline. So we do have football tonight or Thursday night.
but no one's playing. Are any of your guys starters playing?

Speaker 4 That's disrespectful to Lyndon Wood.

Speaker 1 Are you talking about college? No, I'm talking about NFL.

Speaker 4 Because we do have college football, actually, college football tonight.

Speaker 4 Missouri, NC State, Kansas, Utah playing tonight.

Speaker 1 You're just off by an entire week.

Speaker 4 Am I? Yes.

Speaker 1 God damn it. Couldn't even be further off by a tight week.
That's close, though. God damn it.
You're close. Week zero is Saturday.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I know week zero is Saturday. I thought we might get an appetizer on Thursday.

Speaker 1 No, that's week one. Fuck.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 4 No, no stars are playing tonight.

Speaker 4 No starters playing tonight. There's actually like an interesting thing, though, about the Bears Chiefs game.
You know, no starters are playing, I think, on either side. Right.

Speaker 4 But the way that it's set up right now with TV rights in Kansas City, you can't watch the game. You can't stream it.
You can't watch it if you have cable. You can't watch it on like the local channel.

Speaker 4 The only way you can watch the game in Kansas City is if you have a TV with the bunny ear antennas.

Speaker 1 Oh, I thought you were going to say the only way you can watch the game is if you have a a family member playing on the second or third team of the Chiefs.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's another way that you can do it. Yeah.
Yeah, you can definitely do it that way.

Speaker 4 But yeah, I just wonder if there's anybody in Kansas City that's like we were for Hard Knocks that's going to be like, I've kept my bunny years this whole time just for a moment like this.

Speaker 4 Fuck you guys. I get to watch week three of the preseason.

Speaker 1 Yeah, week three of the preseason. What a, I mean, it used to mean something.
It used to be starters all the way through the third quarter.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it was a dress rehearsal.

Speaker 1 Back in our day.

Speaker 1 Okay, so there's no college football tonight.

Speaker 4 No college football.

Speaker 1 That was a test. That was a test.
Yeah. For everyone out there.

Speaker 1 Hope no one failed that. Also, it would have been a funny test because this would have burned tonight after

Speaker 1 those games had aired, if you were correct.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you missed out.

Speaker 1 So you were double off.

Speaker 1 Okay, you guys want to read the headlines real quick? Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 Sources, Ference suspended for QB recruiting. So Kirk Ference is out for the week one game against Illinois State.

Speaker 1 This is just a funny story to me because the fact that he got in trouble for recruiting and it's Iowa is very funny.

Speaker 4 That is very funny to me.

Speaker 4 He got suspended for doing such a bad job of cheating.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I hope it was recruiting for a punter.

Speaker 1 I hope he went like a, you know, all-expense paid trip. He did like a vacation in Australia on the state of Iowa's dime.

Speaker 4 He stayed over at a punter's house like Harbaugh. Right.
So if he was suspended for QB recruiting, So I guess he was trying to... Was there one specific guy he was going after?

Speaker 1 I don't know. I can look up the story real quick.
We can go even deeper than a headline. You ready? Here we go.

Speaker 4 Iowa coach Kirk Ference and assistant John

Speaker 4 Budamere will be suspended one game for violation related to the recruitment of transfer quarterback Cade McNamara.

Speaker 1 He was on Michigan, and then he obviously got hurt last year. He's going to be the starter this year.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 he must have been tampering, maybe.

Speaker 1 He must have been tampering during that season. Okay, that's a good story.

Speaker 1 New NWSL-CBA drops draft, increases salaries.

Speaker 4 So they're going to try out the Mike Florio rule.

Speaker 1 Love that.

Speaker 4 Which is what happens if there's no draft and it's just the free market.

Speaker 1 I think that's a good idea.

Speaker 4 Pure capitalism. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just, yeah, let's do it. I'm in for this.

Speaker 4 What are the richest teams? Who are the richest owners that are going to benefit from this?

Speaker 1 Probably

Speaker 4 Los Angeles, doesn't LeBron, Serena, aren't they involved there? Yep.

Speaker 1 I would say like maybe the Spirit, the Gotham, the Red Stars,

Speaker 1 Rain, the Royals,

Speaker 1 the Racing

Speaker 1 Louisville FCs. I'm just naming these off the top of my head.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I think the best way to treat this is just to say LeBron has ruined women's soccer. Yep.

Speaker 1 That sounds like a good path forward. Okay.

Speaker 1 Yanks back judge after criticism from Little League World Series coach. So

Speaker 1 there was a story. This is where we're at in the sports calendar.
Right before football is the deadest time.

Speaker 1 I actually think, as much as we think, July might be the deadest time, you usually have like some soccer tournaments going on. We have baseball, Olympics, yeah, all-star game.

Speaker 1 This might be the deadest week of the year, right before we get to like the busy time. This is the fourth headline on ESPN right now.

Speaker 4 This week is so dead that I mentally fast-forward an entire week. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you did.

Speaker 1 Next week. So race it.
So there was a controversy that I guess Aaron Judge big-leagued the

Speaker 1 South Shore Little League coach, Bob Laturza. I think this is the Staten Island team.

Speaker 1 And then everyone was like, no, he didn't big league them.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, he said, Laturza said, how about turning around or waving to New York and the kids that think you're a hero? They're the ones who pay your salary. Fact.
The kids pay his salary.

Speaker 4 Also, wait, literally, he is big leaguing them. They're the little leagues.
Yes. And Aaron Judge plays in the major leagues.
Yes.

Speaker 1 And then the Yankees had to release a statement that said, Aaron Judge always acts with kindness and respect. The coach could learn a lot from him.
I love that. Yeah.
This is a great battle.

Speaker 4 Anytime you can work, you could learn a lot from somebody into a sentence. It's always you win that argument.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Aaron Boone said, not even going to dignify LaTerzo's comments with the response. Aaron Judge is as good as it gets.
That's literally, you responded.

Speaker 4 But on the other hand,

Speaker 4 I would like Aaron Boone to show some of this fire that the Little League coach shows. Yeah.
Like the Little League coach, he goes on the attack against people.

Speaker 4 It feels like Aaron Boone's always playing defense for his guys.

Speaker 1 Yeah. He said, Judge said, I got no response for that.
I'm not going to give him a response because it's about the kids. Again, this is a response.
This is what it's all about.

Speaker 1 We got a chance to spend a lot of time with quite a few kids in Williamsport, make some great memories, had a great time in the game, you know, besides the loss.

Speaker 1 So I kind of want that to be the focus.

Speaker 1 This is, I hope this keeps going on. Laterza's got to fire back.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean, right now, it sounds like Aaron Boone big leaked him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Laterza, Laterza, you need you're you're you're kind of on the you're on the defense now. Uh, let's see, Ronaldo creates a YouTube channel, breaks record.

Speaker 1 This is kind of crazy. What happened? He joined YouTube and got 8 million subscribers in like one second.

Speaker 4 I think he's up to 12 now.

Speaker 7 Did he do, did he do, like, did he do a giveaway or anything?

Speaker 1 Did he do, like, did he run suicide? Did he do a shit? Did he do the shot color? He did a mukbang. Did he do the shot color or lemon in his eye? Mukbang.

Speaker 4 That would do numbers. What are you going to say, Max?

Speaker 1 Never mind.

Speaker 1 We'll get to it a roughly. Yeah, we'll get to it.
We'll get to it.

Speaker 4 I think Messi could dominate these numbers

Speaker 4 if he came out with a YouTube channel. Yes.
Easily. By the way, I had this thought about Messi.
I don't know if I talked about it on the podcast.

Speaker 4 What's stopping the United States from just giving Messi a U.S. passport for the next World Cup?

Speaker 1 21%. Probably the fact that Messi wouldn't play for us.

Speaker 1 Are you sure? I'm pretty sure. Pocatino, Argentinian guy, too, now our head coach.
I also don't know if he'll play in the next World Cup. He's getting a little old.

Speaker 1 He's getting old, but wouldn't you want him on the U.S.? Of course I would. I think Messi really likes Argentina.

Speaker 4 What if we gave him a shitload of money?

Speaker 1 I don't know if that's legal or not, but I still think Messi, like, he's a god in Argentina.

Speaker 4 What would happen if he does that? I'm just dreaming. He loses his godstaff.
I'm just dreaming, and I'm thinking outside the box. And there's got to be somebody out there that's got money to burn.

Speaker 4 And if you're Jeff Bezos, give him like a billion dollars to play for the U.S. Passport.

Speaker 1 I don't think Jeff Bezos cares about anything besides being rich, bald, and doing TRT. Allegedly.

Speaker 1 Is Jeff Bezos going to buy the Celtics? No.

Speaker 1 Why'd you say no so fast? Because I saw a report that said he wasn't interested. Oh, okay.
So I guess that's good. No.
Good report. Wouldn't you want him to buy the Celtics? I think so.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't

Speaker 1 buy the pairs. We're throwing out this new stadium shit, shit, though.
I'm not a fan of that. Yeah, the Amazon touchless stadium.

Speaker 1 I don't think the

Speaker 1 fight Boston doesn't need a new stadium. That's just like an owner would want a new stadium.
Jeff Bezos would just build a new stadium because he can't. But we don't need that.

Speaker 1 Listen, I'm fully supporting Jeff Bezos buying any team because it goes back to my original, my longtime take that if you're that rich and you don't own a sports team, you're a fucking weirdo.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's the only thing you should want. The point of getting money is that you can own a sports team.

Speaker 1 It's the only only thing that actually costs the amount of money that you have. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Once you have the billions and billions Jeff Bezos has,

Speaker 1 there's nothing left to purchase.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you want to own the best toy in the world, and the best toy is an NFL team.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Jason McIntyre said Simmons was doing that.

Speaker 4 to get his name in the headlines.

Speaker 1 To get Bezos' name in the headlines? Simmons' name in the headlines.

Speaker 1 This is what McIntyre said on Coward Show.

Speaker 1 He was basically alluding that Bezos was, or Simmons floated that out there just to get his name in the headlines because he's going through some type of contract dispute or something. Which

Speaker 1 levels are that shit? I don't know.

Speaker 1 I don't believe that, but Simmons is going through a contract dispute with Spotify. Wait, so he just

Speaker 1 saying that Simmons is going through a contract dispute, so Simmons decided to talk about the Celtics for once? Right.

Speaker 4 He threw out an unfounded theory about the Celtics, and this raised a lot of red flags.

Speaker 1 Sounds like he was just doing what he did.

Speaker 4 Did Bill Simmons do a potential draft of Boston Celtics owners? And then everybody was like, this is unusual. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What's his name?

Speaker 1 What's wrong with him? Is he sick?

Speaker 1 Okay, so Bezos, maybe, but probably not. I think maybe.
My favorite part of the team. But Pork Demon said he has no plans on purchasing the team.

Speaker 1 He should start the plans. Yeah, start the plans or buy the Bears.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he probably wants to buy a football team.

Speaker 4 The rumor was that Dan Snyder would not sell to him, even though he was the highest bidder for the Commanders because he doesn't like Bezos because of the reporting the Washington Post did on the Commanders.

Speaker 4 Also, if you're a billionaire like Bezos, it's probably easier to buy a team that's not in complete disrepair and take that over like the Celtics.

Speaker 4 Like you've got a winner, a proven winner already.

Speaker 4 So that seems like I'm connecting a lot of dots here, but I'm going to dispute that report and say he's not done.

Speaker 1 No, he's not done being interested.

Speaker 4 He's still interested. He's definitely still interested.
My favorite story about Jeff Bezos is that, remember when the mistress came out? Yeah.

Speaker 4 When he got that divorce a couple years ago, he got caught having a mistress because he was hanging out. He was at some business conference with MBS, the leader of Saudi Arabia.

Speaker 4 And MBS was like, let me get your number so that we can text later. He gets his number.
MBS sends him a text and has like a link on it. It's like, thought about you.
Check this link out.

Speaker 4 Bezos clicks on the link. Now Saudi Arabia hacked into Bezos' phone.
Oh, no. And so they released, they found out all the the dirt on him, and they released all the information about Bezos.

Speaker 1 That's fucked up. Yeah.
You guys seen the Zuckerberg? There would always be your friends that just want to send you links. I know.
What happened with Zuckerberg? Have you just seen him?

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's trying to get into his swag era. Which, again, I respect that too.

Speaker 1 Like, if you're, it's the buying a team, or if you're a very rich guy, you have to essentially do enough performance enhancing, do some kind of weird navy seal, crossfit, crav Maga, or whatever the hell it's called to try to wipe away the fact that you were a nerd.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you do that.

Speaker 4 You also just put yourself in positions to make yourself feel uncomfortable because everything about your life is super comfortable.

Speaker 4 So you go on like two week-long retreats where you don't do anything but drink water. You just try to make yourself feel like you're poor again.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 In order to tap into some like deep, yearning, missing piece that you haven't seen.

Speaker 1 Or when Zuckerberg got choked out, but then had to release a statement saying he didn't.

Speaker 4 He did not, in fact, get choked out.

Speaker 1 I also would love to interview the guy who choked him out because I feel like he didn't choke him out as hard as he would any other person.

Speaker 4 You think he let up at the end?

Speaker 1 Yeah, of course he did. If he's getting paid by Zuck, he definitely let up a little.
That wasn't a full choke. So actually, now that we're talking this out, Zuckerberg got choked out in a half choke.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I also think that billionaires sometimes, if you get that much wealth and power, you have this deep, dark instinct that takes over that makes you want to be an evil billionaire and take over the world and potentially destroy it.

Speaker 4 And so you just have to do everything you can to like steer yourself away from that instinct. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They're all evil. They're all evil.
Yeah, like that's Bernie Lockwood. Ooh, a little

Speaker 1 Rose Avatar Hank over here. Yeah, eat the rich, Hank.
I like that. They're all evil.

Speaker 4 Yeah, okay. Because Hank thinks that anybody that's worked that hard to become a billionaire is an idiot because they didn't take any vacations.
Right.

Speaker 1 But now they do take ultimate vacations.

Speaker 1 That was kind of all the headlines. So it was Ronaldo and Aaron Judge fighting with Little Leaguers.

Speaker 1 I just pulled up CBS Sports. Purdy leads young QBs on contenders.
I like this

Speaker 1 as a topic where you can rank Purdy number one,

Speaker 1 but not have it be number one.

Speaker 1 Like if you do the age thing,

Speaker 1 so you can leave out Mahomes, Alan Burrow, all those other guys.

Speaker 4 Like, who would you start a franchise with right now?

Speaker 4 The answer is still Patrick Mahomes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Patrick Mahomes. I was Well, I was going to say CJ Stroud if you're doing age, under 25.

Speaker 4 Oh, I do Jaden personally.

Speaker 4 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I'd like to be Caleb Williams. I want to see him play in the NFL.
I'm being realistic. I'm not going to go crazy.

Speaker 1 Okay, anything else?

Speaker 1 Well, let's do.

Speaker 4 Did you just fart? Hank just farted.

Speaker 1 You just farted. No.

Speaker 1 Yes, Hank.

Speaker 4 You definitely farted.

Speaker 1 You gave me eye contact and farted. No, I didn't.
Yeah, you did. You looked at me and farted.
You're sitting in a a wood chair. What does that have to do with anything? It makes a louder noise.

Speaker 1 Like it was a very clear fart. I'll have to check the tapes.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no, Hank, you farted before the podcast started.

Speaker 1 You just looked at me.

Speaker 4 And that was the exact same sound.

Speaker 1 We're going to have to check the tapes.

Speaker 1 You're real comfortable, huh?

Speaker 1 I just had a lot of,

Speaker 1 I don't know,

Speaker 1 a lot of cell blue.

Speaker 1 Was that it?

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 4 Now you're mad at us for acknowledging that you farted on our podcast.

Speaker 1 You're the one who stared me in the eyes and farted during the podcast.

Speaker 4 There's a million people listening to this right now, and you're just like, ah, fuck them.

Speaker 1 I didn't mean to fart.

Speaker 1 Slipped out.

Speaker 4 Control your sphincter.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. Hank.
Okay.

Speaker 4 Hank had a lot of nitrous this morning.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 4 Loosened your butt hole.

Speaker 2 What's nitrous? Like whippets.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Kanye.

Speaker 1 All right, let's do.

Speaker 4 Would Kanye do like $60,000 of nitrous a month?

Speaker 1 And then there started this debate online. It's like, why isn't nitrous just legal? And everyone replied, because it actually burns your brain cells.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, it's actually the one, like, to get high with nitrous, it's because you have a lack of oxygen to your brain and your brain is dying.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, Kanye got that hookup.

Speaker 4 So there's a very funny text thread that was going back and forth between Kanye, his dentist, and I guess his old boss. And his boss, or his dentist, have you seen his Instagram page? Yes.
Dr.

Speaker 4 Thomas Connolly? Yes. He's a jacked-up dentist with head and face tattoos.

Speaker 4 He says this needs to be a long-term goal. Get recreational nitrous legalized.
Meanwhile, we mastered the delivery system with a two-year head start.

Speaker 4 And then Kanye's old business partner said, surely you're joking. Prolonged misuse of nitrous causes birth defects.
Problems with B12, spinal cord will disintegrate.

Speaker 4 Why would anyone want to introduce another drug to an already depressed, addicted, demoralized, and apathetic population of dopamine slaves?

Speaker 4 Then Kanye follows that text with, can I have the nitrous today?

Speaker 1 Spinal cord disin uh disin what is it? I can't say the word disintegration. Disintegration.
That's got to be one of the worst side effects for a drug.

Speaker 4 For anything, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Your spinal cord will disintegrate. It's pretty important.
Turn into dust.

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Let's do let's do our college football picks real quick. It is not week one.
It is week zero. Next week is week one, but let's get them in right now.

Speaker 1 DraftKings, you can bet them all on the DraftKings Sportsbook app. So we've been tasked with a national champion, Heisman, or conference winner.
I will let you go first, PFT.

Speaker 4 Okay, I do apologize for thinking that there were week zero Thursday games when I was looking at the app.

Speaker 4 I got a national champion pick. I have two, but I'm going to tell you.

Speaker 4 Two can't win it. I have one that I already bet on.

Speaker 4 But I have one that I like more than the one that I bet on. So I'm going to give you a brand new one.

Speaker 4 The Texas Longhorns. Okay.
I like the Texas Longhorns.

Speaker 9 What are their odds?

Speaker 4 Their odds are, I believe, 850.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 8.5 to 1. Texas is back.
We might see Arch Manning if Ewers has any issues, but I think that Ewers is still obviously one of the best quarterbacks in college football.

Speaker 4 And their hardest game is Georgia. They have that at home.
And with the expanded playoffs, I think.

Speaker 1 They have to go to Michigan, too.

Speaker 4 They have to go to Michigan, but I'm thinking Michigan's a big question mark this year.

Speaker 1 They're still going to be good.

Speaker 4 They'll be good, but there's a lot different at Michigan from the national championship team. So

Speaker 4 I think Texas will also benefit from, obviously, the expanded playoff. If they do lose one of those tough games, still very much in it.

Speaker 1 Yes. All right, Hank, your conference champion pick? I'm going to go with the uh the conference our local conference the big ten

Speaker 1 a little little

Speaker 1 long shot it's more than a little long shot one two three four five six seven they are the ninth this is ninth out of whatever team nine out of ten in the big ten

Speaker 1 washington huskies plus eight thousand plus eight thousand okay eighty to one damn Okay, hungry dog.

Speaker 1 All right, I'm going to go with my Heisman, and this is one that you're going to bet, and we're either going to have great value or was the worst bet ever within the first week, which is what I like to do with my Heisman champion

Speaker 1 picks. I'm going to go with Miller Moss, USC.
They play LSU week one. I think it's actually the Sunday game.
So it's going to be a standalone game. If he comes out in balls, it's right now 35 to 1.

Speaker 1 It will be half that price if he comes out in balls. I also am high on USC this year simply because they got rid of Alex Grinz, the worst defensive coordinator of all time.

Speaker 1 So they will be better on defense.

Speaker 1 If they're better on defense, the offense doesn't have to press as much. They could maybe have a better record.

Speaker 1 Miller Moss, Heisman Trophy winner. And guess who?

Speaker 1 Guess who just churns out Heisman Trophy winners? A guy named old Stinkin' Riley. Stinkin' Riley.

Speaker 4 Now, where's that first game?

Speaker 1 I think it's neutral. Yeah.
I think it's either in

Speaker 1 Louisiana, which, or New Orleans, which would not be neutral. But I think this might be the Camping World game where they play in Orlando.

Speaker 1 Which isn't that, wasn't that stadium built during the war or something? Isn't there something weird with the Camping World stadium?

Speaker 4 I mean, just based on U.S. history, it was probably built during a war.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true. Hold on.
I'm going to find that because it's actually in Vegas. It's in Vegas.

Speaker 1 No, there's a weird.

Speaker 1 Because, you know, the fact that Orlando has a football stadium makes no sense, really. Right?

Speaker 1 Blake Bortles. Well, no, that's...
But they have their own football stadium. Camping World is just a neutral football stadium.

Speaker 4 For just this type of occasion, yeah.

Speaker 1 It opened in 1936's Orlando Stadium. It's also been known as the Tangerine Bowl and Florida Citrus Bowl.
1936? That's crazy that Orlando.

Speaker 1 If you had asked me when Orlando was created, I'd be like, I guess whenever Disney.

Speaker 4 Yeah, Disney. So Orlando built this.
Was that during the Great Depression? Was that like a new deal? I think so. Like FDR is like, I'm going to give money to build the Hoover Dam.

Speaker 4 We're going to do a lot of mining and bridge construction in Tennessee. And we're going to build a football stadium in Orlando.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so that Florida State can play LSU week one sometime.

Speaker 4 Save the economy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was. It was under the Great Depression.
Was it really? Stadium was built immediately.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was built for that reason.

Speaker 4 Capacity of 8,900 is Orlando Stadium.

Speaker 1 First college football bowl game was played on January 1st, 1947. That's not actually the first college football bowl game.
I did a bad job of reading that sentence.

Speaker 4 So Miller for Heisman.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he's got a good Heisman name.

Speaker 1 He's got a good Heisman name. Lincoln Riley, USC.
USC no longer playing in the Pac-12. They got some big primetime games.
They're playing like Penn State.

Speaker 1 I believe they, I don't know if they play Ohio State. I know they play Wisconsin, but they start the season with LSU.

Speaker 1 Again, this is a bet that if he plays well against LSU, it's going to go from 35 to 1 to 20 to 1 overnight.

Speaker 1 Okay, we're going to do a bunch of college football previews next week, by the way. So everyone, get ready for that.
We will make sure that we stuff your brain with college football previews.

Speaker 1 Those are coming.

Speaker 1 Let's do... Our Mount Rushmore.

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Speaker 1 Okay, so Mount Rushmore of orange things.

Speaker 1 We have Max in first last week. We have myself, or on Wednesday, I was second.
And then we have a tie for third and fourth. So we have to figure out what we're going to do about the tie.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I have an idea.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 My idea is that it rolls over. It's like in golf.

Speaker 4 If you tie a hole in like a skins game. Okay.
So it rolls over to this Mount Rushmore.

Speaker 4 And then between Hank and myself, whoever finishes ahead of the other person, they get the third place points from Wednesday.

Speaker 1 And the other person

Speaker 1 gets fourth place points. Okay, I like that idea.
I'll throw a counterpoint out there. I think we should give third place to the person who didn't try to meddle with the vote.

Speaker 4 Who tried to meddle with the vote?

Speaker 1 Hank? Max? Did anyone try to meddle with the vote? Charity. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, PFT was so charitable online. I almost want to just give it to him as,

Speaker 1 you know, he really inspired me.

Speaker 4 Oh, if he was so charitable, he'd give it to you. Oh, that's very charitable.

Speaker 1 PFT tweeted in the middle of the vote.

Speaker 1 So the vote had not been decided yet? No, no. And it was a neck-and-neck race.
He said, I will give an autographed Game Ward camp parcel hoodie signed by myself and Big Cat.

Speaker 1 I didn't agree to that. Somebody asked me to one person.
Somebody asked me and Big Cat

Speaker 1 Rushmore poll.

Speaker 4 Hank, you didn't read the quote tweet part. Somebody had asked.

Speaker 1 You must send proof of voting.

Speaker 4 And read the rest of it.

Speaker 1 Hashtag rock the voting.

Speaker 4 No, you left out a part.

Speaker 1 You can vote for whoever you want. It will not affect who gets the hoodie.
Correct.

Speaker 4 So there were plenty of people that sent replies of voting for you.

Speaker 1 Plenty of people that voted for

Speaker 4 Max.

Speaker 4 You know what's disgusting is that Hank thinks that the only reason that somebody can do something nice is because they're secretly trying to do something wrong.

Speaker 1 I've been literally definitely trying to do something wrong.

Speaker 1 I was not trying to do anything wrong. Let's just be clear here.
You were 100% sure. Surely you've chosen the winner then, right? You've never done that.

Speaker 4 Oh, oh i have to i've there's a significant giveaway send a hoodie to anyone i've done giveaways before i'm gonna send the hoodie hank why don't you pick who gets it okay how come you didn't let hank get to sign it well because the person asked me and big cat for one okay either the person said hey big cat pft can i get one of those camp barstall hoodies

Speaker 4 That's why I said me and Big Cat will sign it.

Speaker 1 Did you think about waiting until after the Rushmore poll ended? No, because

Speaker 4 I was just walking up to the building here. We were getting ready to eat lunch, and I took my phone out, out, happened to check Twitter, saw that tweet.

Speaker 1 Saw we were in a neck and neck race.

Speaker 4 I didn't know that we were in a neck and neck race at the time. It was actually, it was a very close amount of rushball.
I think Bighead had 23%.

Speaker 4 Hank and I both ended at 21.7%.

Speaker 4 Crazy. I don't think we've ever had a tie like that.

Speaker 4 And also, after I put that out, Hank went up from like 20.7%. But you weren't paying attention to 20.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you weren't paying attention to the vote. What

Speaker 4 I did when we sat down for lunch and Hank came to the table and he was just looking at me and he said,

Speaker 4 How's your lunch? But I knew what he meant.

Speaker 9 Yeah, we may need the commissioner to make it make a.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, listen, I'm just going to say, in fairness, if Hank had done this, I would have gone after Hank. So I have to say that I think that's bullshit.

Speaker 4 I didn't do anything, though. I was just

Speaker 1 super charitable.

Speaker 4 I was trying to be a nice guy. You're charity shaming.

Speaker 1 I'm not. I've been complimenting you the whole time.
James.

Speaker 5 What are the official standings right now?

Speaker 1 It is.

Speaker 1 Well, it depends. Yeah.
Max has 69 points. I have 57 points.
And then PFT and Hank are three points apart. So they'll either be

Speaker 1 they'd be two points apart or they would be

Speaker 1 four points apart.

Speaker 4 Or we could roll it over into this Mount Rushmore and whoever wins this one gets the points from the tie.

Speaker 5 All right, Hank gets it and PFT loses one point.

Speaker 4 Okay. I get subtracted a point.

Speaker 1 He gets subtracted a point?

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 I don't think you should get subtracted a point, Commissioner. Well, he did break the rules.
Commissioner, I don't think you should get subtracted. Wait, wait, memes.

Speaker 4 memes. When Hank explicitly broke the rules and posted what his picks were during Mount Rushmore, he didn't get subtracted a point.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's a bad precedent to set. It should just be.

Speaker 1 Well, it wasn't a pick.

Speaker 5 It was an honorable mention.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. No, he posted his pillow.
Cold play. No, I posted.
Cold play. He posted cold play.

Speaker 4 And he posted.

Speaker 1 Can you

Speaker 1 speak it to you? In the back end of the day. Push people to the most votes.

Speaker 1 Wait, wait, wait. Hank, did I push people to vote for a certain story?

Speaker 1 I'm a vote. Hold up.

Speaker 4 You're anti-democracy.

Speaker 4 I'm encouraging people to vote.

Speaker 1 I don't care who you vote for.

Speaker 4 Just participate in democracy.

Speaker 1 Memes, just see if you can see the exact amount of votes. Is that possible?

Speaker 4 And Hank, I'm giving them the shirt, literally the shirt off my back right now.

Speaker 1 I mean, you knew what you were doing.

Speaker 4 I had no idea what I was doing. Yeah, I do.
I thought college football started tonight.

Speaker 1 I walked into PFT and go, damn, PFT, you're so charitable. And he goes, well, it's not even going to matter.
Like, he instantly got defensive. So that's.

Speaker 4 And it actually helped Hank.

Speaker 1 But you weren't watching the poll.

Speaker 4 No, I saw the poll when I tweeted it out afterwards and then wait, how would you know you saw before you tweeted it? No, after. I just said after I tweeted it out.

Speaker 1 So how would you know it helped him because you didn't see it before? Good God.

Speaker 4 Well, it was right after I tweeted it.

Speaker 1 Oh, I looked. Like, like

Speaker 1 half a second later. But you hadn't looked, yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, half second later, I looked at it.

Speaker 1 You hadn't looked at before. What inspired you to start being charitable yesterday?

Speaker 4 I do a lot of charity. I just don't talk about it all the time.

Speaker 1 So what inspired you to talk about it?

Speaker 4 The real charity is, well, because somebody asked me publicly, so I responded publicly, and I care about our listeners.

Speaker 4 I care about, I don't care who you vote for in Mount Rushmore season. Let's be clear here.
You have choices to make, and you're going to make those choices.

Speaker 4 Choose who matters to you, who speaks to you as a representative of your thoughts during Mount Rushmore season on this podcast.

Speaker 4 I just want people to take an active role in democracy, and I want you to know that your voice matters.

Speaker 1 You can't see the actual amount of votes, memes.

Speaker 1 All right, Ashley at a mangled. And who does she vote for?

Speaker 1 Max.

Speaker 4 Okay, Ashley mangled.

Speaker 1 A mangled.

Speaker 4 A mangled. You win.
You get the shirt off my back. Big Kat, will you sign it for Ashley?

Speaker 4 You don't care about the listeners?

Speaker 1 I care about Ashley. Maybe I'll just send her my shirt off my back and not have to have any strings attached on voting.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, that's how much I care about the listeners. I don't make them do things to get free things.

Speaker 4 I didn't make them do anything. I said, if you're going to vote, I want to encourage that behavior.
Voting's good.

Speaker 1 I just know I'm trying to be fair here that if Hank pulled this move, we'd be fucking,

Speaker 1 he would literally be on trial for an hour and a half.

Speaker 1 Which you, I think, would agree with, PFT.

Speaker 4 I don't know what you're talking about.

Speaker 4 I'm trying to do a good thing. And Ashley, this is for you.

Speaker 1 It's a nice shirt.

Speaker 4 It is a nice shirt. Are you talking about the tie-dye one? Are you talking about can you see it?

Speaker 4 Do you want this shirt?

Speaker 1 He's still pulling it off. I don't want this shirt.
It's a small for me.

Speaker 4 You want this shirt, Hank?

Speaker 1 I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 I don't think PFT should lose a point, but we'll get to it We'll get to it by the end of

Speaker 1 this Mount Rushmore? All right. Here, I also wanted to say

Speaker 1 shout out Carl Ham,

Speaker 1 who made a very, very funny Mount Rushmore graphic summing up all of our picks this year. I'll just read it real quick.

Speaker 1 This is the first round. Max, good pick.
PFT, good pick. Big Cat, good pick.
Hank making a third-round pick.

Speaker 1 Then the second round is Max, good pick, PFT, third-round pick. Big Cat, pick 1-1 for people aged 35 to 45.
Hank, something nobody even considered picking.

Speaker 1 Third round is Max, good pick. PFT, something hyper-specific that wins the votes of 50 people.
Yeah, but they vote hard. Big Cat, a niche sports reference that nobody else was going to take.

Speaker 1 Hank, something that Hank has to explain as to why it fits the category.

Speaker 1 Then the fourth round is Max, good pick slash Italian. PFT, it fits a category, but it's just weird.
Big cat wrestling or kid-related, Hank, a reasonable pick.

Speaker 1 Pretty much nailed that. That's really good.
Pretty much nailed every single one. That's our show.

Speaker 1 All right, so we're going to do the Mount Rushmore of Orange Things. Orange things.

Speaker 1 And we don't know the standings right now, but I guess we'll know at the end of this, at the end of this Mount Rushmore. So who's first? Orange things.

Speaker 1 PFT's first. Okay.

Speaker 1 Wait, who's second? Me?

Speaker 9 You, Hank, third, Max, four.

Speaker 4 Got it. And it goes four, three, two, one in points, unless there's a tie.

Speaker 1 Right. Got it.
Or someone messed with the voting. Yes.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Never mind.
No,

Speaker 9 so Hank got the point.

Speaker 1 Do we agree with that?

Speaker 1 We don't know. I don't think memes can find the actual votes, can he?

Speaker 4 On the desktop, it breaks down to the decimal point, and we were tied 21.7 to 21.7.

Speaker 9 But I think we should be able to get into

Speaker 9 the analytics of the actual post.

Speaker 2 Got it.

Speaker 1 Can we get the overnight votes?

Speaker 1 Huh? You get the overnight votes?

Speaker 1 Can we get the timestamp votes of when PFT sent out his tweet?

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah, I was winning before that.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm saying. I thought you said you didn't check before.
Well, right after we had a second afterwards, exactly.

Speaker 4 I'm just saying, I was up.

Speaker 1 I helped Hank.

Speaker 1 You keep saying you haven't checked. I haven't checked before.

Speaker 4 I did not before, but I've learned a valuable lesson today. That's don't help Hank because he'll always accuse you of doing it to.

Speaker 1 I I have done nothing but compliment you for your charitable actions. Fact of fiction.

Speaker 4 Man, it did call me Dr. Charity this morning.

Speaker 1 Dr. Charity.

Speaker 1 He said when we were asked, we were in the bunk this morning. He's like, What should we do for Mount Rushmore? He's like, Things that you give to charity.

Speaker 1 Okay, PFT, your first pick. Okay.

Speaker 2 1-1.

Speaker 4 I'm going to go with Buffalo Wings.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Good pick. Thank you.

Speaker 4 My favorite food in the world.

Speaker 1 Hank, Max, anything to say to that? That's orange. Yep, it's orange.
It is orange.

Speaker 1 Okay, so it's my pick.

Speaker 1 One, one, I'll go with the maybe the most...

Speaker 1 One, two.

Speaker 1 I'll go with maybe the most important thing

Speaker 1 ever created, although it wasn't really created. Maybe it was created.
I'll go with fire.

Speaker 4 All right, that is my second.

Speaker 1 Fire is...

Speaker 1 You need fire for everything. For buffalo wings

Speaker 1 you can't have you buffalo wings without fire no you can you can use an electric fryer to to heat it up but yeah no it's fire electric fryer electric fryer yeah and then where's the electricity come from fire the big plant a lightning fire happening a lightning that struck a kite that but how do they how do they get electricity from the lightning fire

Speaker 4 lightning struck a key fire

Speaker 4 Fire's good. Listen, fire is a great pick.
I had it as my second overall.

Speaker 1 Okay, Hank.

Speaker 1 Hank, I watched Hank put together his list. I think he has four picks.
I'm going to go with basketball. Okay,

Speaker 1 basketball is a good pick. Have that on my list.
Barry Orange.

Speaker 1 Good pick. Thank you.
Okay.

Speaker 9 I'm going to go with

Speaker 9 mac and cheese.

Speaker 1 Sometimes you white.

Speaker 1 Mac and cheese?

Speaker 1 Mac and cheese. Whoa, that's interesting.

Speaker 4 What kind of mac and cheese are we talking about here?

Speaker 9 Just plain boxed mac and cheese. You can say boxed mac and cheese.
cheese if that's.

Speaker 1 That's interesting. The point is pretty yellow.
Are you talking about the blue box? Pretty yellow.

Speaker 7 Boxed mac and cheese.

Speaker 1 Pretty yellow. Yeah,

Speaker 1 that's yellow.

Speaker 1 Orange.

Speaker 1 Orange. Pretty yellow.

Speaker 1 No, I mean, craft mac and cheese is definitely orange. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think it's yellow.

Speaker 1 It's definitely orange. There is yellow mac and cheese.
There's white.

Speaker 1 Yeah, white mac and cheese. What color would you guys say that he wants? That's orange.

Speaker 4 This is orange? I believe that would be orange. You think that's orange?

Speaker 9 Have you ever seen the powder?

Speaker 1 Yeah, the powder is very orange. Yeah, it's about as orange.
Yeah, powder. Okay, very okay.

Speaker 9 And then I'm going to go with an orange.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 You want to fight me on that one? Good pick.

Speaker 4 Is orange orange?

Speaker 1 He just plays the one-word answers.

Speaker 1 His graphic always looks better. He's hacked it.
Okay, Hank. All right, PFT was a little too specific.
I'm going to go with something that is more universal, hot sauce. Ooh, good good pick.

Speaker 4 Hot sauce is orange?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't think hot sauce is orange. We've had this discussion before, haven't we?

Speaker 1 Hot sauce is red.

Speaker 9 The most popular brand of hot sauce, I would say, is Frank's. And what's the word that comes after that?

Speaker 1 Orange hot.

Speaker 4 What hot sauces are orange?

Speaker 1 Buffalo?

Speaker 1 Buffalo sauce. Buffalo sauce is orange.

Speaker 1 Because you mix it with the butter.

Speaker 1 You mix it with butter and vinegar.

Speaker 1 It's red and yellow put together. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Good pick, though. Good answer.
It is a good pick if it were orange.

Speaker 4 Wait, did Hank just take buffalo with the sauce? I'm going to go with goldfish.

Speaker 1 Oh!

Speaker 1 Good answer. Would you like to take a specific goldfish? It might help.
Nope. Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 Because I had Larry the Goldfish on there.

Speaker 4 Are you talking about the snack?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm talking about... Or the fish? The snack.
Oh, I had Larry the Goldfish on there.

Speaker 1 Did you want Larry the Goldfish?

Speaker 4 I don't know. No? He's going to fart again.

Speaker 1 Alright, he's going to fart again.

Speaker 1 Okay, I can't believe this lasts all the way here. I'm going to go with a tiger.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Tiger is fucking dominant. I had that.
Very orange. Good pick.

Speaker 4 Very good pick.

Speaker 1 Very awesome animal.

Speaker 1 Okay. I'm glad.

Speaker 1 I just remember we did do this Mountain Rushmore of hot sauce. Or the hot sauce thing was the spirited debate.
I think it was just us debating it off hair that you were very wrong about.

Speaker 4 Yeah, because we had the same conversation. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It didn't work your way.
Okay. Never does.

Speaker 1 Okay, PFT.

Speaker 4 You have two picks. I got two picks.
Glad this one lasted as long as it did. Cheez-Its.

Speaker 4 Cheez-Its. Love Cheez-Its.

Speaker 4 The hot and spicy, the big Cheez-Its, extra toasty, you reduce fat.

Speaker 1 What were you going to say, Hank?

Speaker 1 I mean, you took goldfish.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Good pick.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 Okay. What color's the box? Red.

Speaker 4 I didn't say Cheez-It boxes.

Speaker 1 We might have to give we might have to do the Hank gets third place and PFT minus one point because he's just blowing this draft. Hank's like an animal.
How am I blowing this draft?

Speaker 1 I mean, because you. I didn't take hot sauce.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're doing fine. And I got, I couldn't pick something.

Speaker 4 You're like an animal that doesn't have a real defense mechanism. Like you don't spit venom.
You don't have a stinger. Just when you get upset and frustrated, you shut down and fart.

Speaker 1 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 Next pick.

Speaker 4 That would have been so great if you farted.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was hoping you were going to fart.

Speaker 4 All right. Next pick.
He's a skunk. Yeah, I'm going to go with Hooters Uniform Shorts.

Speaker 1 Okay. Pretty great.
Shorts. No, this is the shorts.
This is the part of the draft where

Speaker 1 I get the 50 people.

Speaker 4 Are you saying you don't like the Hooters uniform shorts?

Speaker 1 No, you're. No, this is.

Speaker 1 There's normal from looking at the shorts.

Speaker 1 You do. Personally, I don't think I go to Hooters to look at the shorts.

Speaker 4 You do look at the shorts sometimes.

Speaker 1 I'm going to Hooters for something else. The wings.

Speaker 1 Which I already have. Yeah, that's a good pick.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 This is what PFT just picked.

Speaker 1 Let me see. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's great.

Speaker 4 They're great shorts.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'll go with. It's my pick, right?

Speaker 7 Is it?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'll go with

Speaker 1 fall leaves. Orange fall leaves.
Okay. Nice crunchy leaf.
Something about the fall. Football.

Speaker 1 Love it.

Speaker 1 Hank.

Speaker 1 Good pick. Thank you.

Speaker 1 I will go with

Speaker 1 another food. Okay, nice.

Speaker 1 Or should I go with an animal?

Speaker 1 I think you should just decide

Speaker 1 whoever you want to do. Go Nemo, finding Nemo.
Oh, so you went

Speaker 1 goldfish, goldfish, back to back.

Speaker 4 Hank, I'll be honest. I had Nemo on my list.

Speaker 1 That's awesome. That was good.
That's good. So you know it's really good with both me and that's why I didn't want to take Larry.

Speaker 1 That's why you didn't want to take Larry because you're like, I already got this covered. Okay.
Max, your last two. I know.

Speaker 9 Well, I'm going to go with the orange tic-tac.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay.

Speaker 4 I think that's one of the worst tic-tacs.

Speaker 9 There's only two tic-tac.

Speaker 4 No, that's not true. Is there three?

Speaker 4 There's probably like seven tic-tacs.

Speaker 9 I like the orange tic-tac. It was like, that was a staple for me growing up.

Speaker 4 You got the white, you got the spearmint, you got the winter green, you got got the fruit colors that are like mixed in.

Speaker 1 You got whatever.

Speaker 4 It's like,

Speaker 9 I don't know, multiple flavors of fringe and white are the two TikTok colors. Okay.

Speaker 9 Those are the two OGs.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I gotta say,

Speaker 1 I never was a Tic Tac guy. It's like, who cares?

Speaker 9 Or Tic Tac.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 have some gum. Tic Tacs.
And also, the TikTokers

Speaker 1 make your breath fresh, and you picked one that doesn't. Yeah.
True. Tic Tacs are.

Speaker 1 The only benefit for a Tic Tac is to make it your mouth.

Speaker 1 It's

Speaker 1 not candy.

Speaker 1 It's not candy. Yeah.
Tic Tacs are. No.
Orange Tic Tac. They're breathlessness.
They're breathman.

Speaker 9 The orange tic tac is just a candy.

Speaker 1 But that's just a shitty candy. No, it's a good thing.
No, that's. Hey, if we did.

Speaker 1 Shane is. Let me ask you a rush ferociously, right? Shane, the guy who's never had a bad thing.
I don't give a fuck.

Speaker 6 I already won this stupid shit. Shane.

Speaker 1 Did you say Shane, the guy who's never had McDonald's?

Speaker 6 You want to keep debating with the king of Rushmore?

Speaker 1 I've already won the whole thing.

Speaker 1 I want to just,

Speaker 1 I'm standing up for candy. If we did a candy Mount Rushmore and we each got 10 picks each, so that's 40 candies, orange tic-tac still wouldn't be picked.
I'm saying, or okay, pick another orange.

Speaker 1 The lowest tier candy.

Speaker 9 Pick another orange candy.

Speaker 1 I might.

Speaker 1 It's not my pick, buddy. Okay.
You want me to do it right now?

Speaker 1 No, because

Speaker 1 actually, yeah, I don't even care. Syracuse Orange.
Last pick.

Speaker 1 You're the king of my rushmore, so I don't really.

Speaker 9 No, I thought about going with another school, but it's they're literally called the Syracuse Orange.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Okay.
My last pick, I'm going to go with the orange hairs on weed.

Speaker 1 That's a great pick.

Speaker 1 That's a great pick. That's when you know you have a good weed.
That is the kind bud. That's a great pick.
That's a good bud.

Speaker 7 Kind bud.

Speaker 1 Kind bud's not good.

Speaker 4 What? In my day, Hank, kind bud was the best.

Speaker 1 Mids, KB, and then

Speaker 1 the GB. KB?

Speaker 1 KB.

Speaker 4 KB is kind bud.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's like a step above mid. What?

Speaker 1 Kindbud is like not that great. God damn it.

Speaker 1 Used to be the best. It'd be like, yo, you got mid, you got KB, you got that

Speaker 1 orange-haired weed.

Speaker 1 Okay, you get a nug of weed and it's got orange,

Speaker 1 I think it's a great pick. I think it's a great pick.
You just laugh pretty hard. What? No,

Speaker 1 I laughed because it was very niche, but it was a great pick.

Speaker 1 Who doesn't like weed?

Speaker 1 I'm telling you, it's a great pick, Hank.

Speaker 4 That was Hank's pick that kind of fits the category, but he has to explain why.

Speaker 1 That's crazy. It's literally whatever.
I'm telling you.

Speaker 1 Every fucking pick is a crazy thing.

Speaker 1 I'm saying it's a great pick. It literally fits the category perfectly.
Oh my God. Hank, I'm telling you, it's a great pick.
I was laughing because it's something I never thought of. That's funny.

Speaker 1 Thanks.

Speaker 1 You don't believe that. You're drawing.
You believe that.

Speaker 1 All right, my last pick. I'm going to take Snookie.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. She's.

Speaker 1 She's orange. You could have.
Patient. She's orange.
Yeah, I know. You could have gone.

Speaker 1 You could have gone. DT.

Speaker 1 But then it's like, is he, you know.

Speaker 9 You would win half. Yeah, you know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, who knows?

Speaker 1 Not to get political snookies. Lip cap.

Speaker 1 God, you're lashing out extra hard today. And I've had your back.
From the start of this Mount Rushmore, I was the only one trying to prosecute PFT for you. I loved you.

Speaker 1 I wasn't trying to prosecute PFT. I was commenting on this charity the whole time.
I laughed at the red hairs. Orange hairs, excuse me.

Speaker 4 There are red hairs in me, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they might be more red than orange.

Speaker 1 I actually initially said yes to the hot sauce. Yeah, all you want to do is just fart in my face, give me eye contact.
All right, Piety, your last pick.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 Last pick. I think I might just run the football here.
Do something easy, simple, definitely orange.

Speaker 4 I'm going to go with pumpkins.

Speaker 1 Pumpkins.

Speaker 4 Make great pie out of blankets.

Speaker 1 I don't like pumpkin pie. I've never been to a pumpkin pie.
Oh, pumpkin pie is to like.

Speaker 4 I like pumpkin pie. It's great.
Yeah. Pumpkin pie is good.

Speaker 1 I mean, you like orange tic-tacs, you like everything.

Speaker 4 Orange TikTok. Pumpkin pie is

Speaker 4 it's a staple.

Speaker 1 Yeah. In the autumn.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 You think fall, you think Thanksgiving. There's pumpkin pie.

Speaker 4 You also get the jack-o'-lanterns. You get Halloween decorations.

Speaker 4 Yeah. I'm going to go with pumpkins.

Speaker 1 Okay. Good Mountain Rush where we got honorable mentions.
I had a lot here. Yeah.

Speaker 9 Mountain New Live Wire. Yep.
Yep.

Speaker 1 Peaches. Yams.

Speaker 4 Yams. I'd take a pumpkin over a yam, though, I think.
Tennessee Orange. Tennessee Orange had that as well.

Speaker 9 Texas burnt orange.

Speaker 4 Tennessee.

Speaker 1 Don't like Texas burnt orange. Cheese balls.

Speaker 4 Cheese balls are good.

Speaker 1 Cheese balls are the best. Sweet potato fries.

Speaker 4 Yep.

Speaker 1 The sun?

Speaker 4 Yeah, sometimes.

Speaker 1 I kind of wanted someone to take the sun.

Speaker 9 I thought about that, but someone.

Speaker 1 So sunsets are orange.

Speaker 9 But someone took the sun.

Speaker 1 Correct.

Speaker 1 Correct.

Speaker 1 You can't. It can't be both.

Speaker 9 The precedent was set. I agree.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Cheese.

Speaker 9 Cheese. You could have sunset, probably.

Speaker 9 I almost almost took mac and cheese and cheddar cheese.

Speaker 9 I almost just did a full cheese.

Speaker 9 You're just

Speaker 1 running up the score. You're on the 10-yard line.
Yeah, no, I'm not going to lie.

Speaker 9 I think I had like five things written down.

Speaker 1 I'm done.

Speaker 4 You're resting your starters. Well, I don't need it.

Speaker 9 By me getting first place,

Speaker 9 it ruins the rest of the draft for the two of you that need those points.

Speaker 1 Not really. I don't need the points.
PFP is so nice anyway. I'll probably just give me some at the end of the day.

Speaker 1 Can you move your mic a little bit?

Speaker 1 Tabby Cat. What about the tabby? Tabby Cat?

Speaker 4 The orange tabby.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the one from

Speaker 1 what was the show?

Speaker 1 Morning Edition.

Speaker 1 First edition.

Speaker 1 It was a show with Coach Taylor where he got the newspaper from the day, the next day.

Speaker 4 Friday Night Lights.

Speaker 1 Is that Coach? No, it was. I think it was Morning Edition.
No.

Speaker 12 First edition.

Speaker 1 It was an orange tabby cat.

Speaker 1 Bring him the newspaper, tomorrow's newspaper today. Oh, I didn't see that.
Holman Proof. It was a good show.

Speaker 9 I'm re-watching Friday Night Lights.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 4 Golden Retrievers.

Speaker 1 That golden?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's golden.

Speaker 4 It's kind of orange. Literally in the name.

Speaker 1 Didn't you?

Speaker 4 We're doing honorable mentions.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 No, Hank said golden retrievers for yellow.

Speaker 1 Nah, I didn't. Kyle Chandler.
Yeah, you did. Yeah, you did.

Speaker 1 Hank,

Speaker 6 why are you so grumpy right now, dude?

Speaker 1 Oh, Foxes.

Speaker 4 We missed Foxes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Foxes. Foxes were hard.
We saw some foxes, yeah. Damn.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 4 We missed foxes.

Speaker 1 Early edition. Early edition.

Speaker 1 We missed foxes.

Speaker 1 You're on one. Orioles.
Yeah, Orioles. They're really cool if you ever see an Orioles.

Speaker 4 They're awesome. Yeah, good birds.
I thought you were talking about the baseball team.

Speaker 1 Garfield.

Speaker 1 Yep, said that five minutes ago. Sorry.

Speaker 1 I was looking up the show that is completely irrelevant that I was trying to figure out. Heathcliff.
This came out 20 years ago.

Speaker 1 Monarch Butterflies.

Speaker 9 Yeah. Orange County.

Speaker 4 Orange County. Yeah.

Speaker 4 You're not an OC guy?

Speaker 1 Orange County Choppers. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Laguna Beach.

Speaker 1 You can't. I know.

Speaker 4 That's crazy.

Speaker 1 You can't. You can't smoke cigs if you live in Laguna Beach.
Like, even in your house? No. Your neighbors can report you.
In your house?

Speaker 4 If you smoke outside or you smoke in your house and the smoke wafts into into your neighbor's property and they smell it, they can call the cops on you. That's insane.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Wait, weed or...

Speaker 2 Sigs.

Speaker 1 That's crazy.

Speaker 4 There's another orange

Speaker 4 political guy not to get political.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we were saying that. DT.

Speaker 1 Frank Ocean, Chanel Orange.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah. Channel Orange? You say Chanel Orange?

Speaker 4 Is it Channel Orange or Chanel? Was I wrong?

Speaker 1 Probably not. It's probably me.
You're definitely right. Always are.

Speaker 4 Didn't Apple rank that album as like the second best album of all time?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 That's bullshit.

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 4 Hank, I can't with you right now.

Speaker 1 I literally can't.

Speaker 1 You can't exist. Did you memes? Do we have a conclusion? Nope.
Okay, so what is your ruling? Hank gets third and PFT gets fourth and

Speaker 1 a half you guys just didn't accept. Well, you have no commissioner.
You have a commissioner and it's like, all right, make a rule. But you didn't actually

Speaker 4 get to the point where you broke an explicit rule. Don't bring it up to the point.

Speaker 1 I broke an unwritten rule.

Speaker 1 Wait, so you're admitting you broke a rule.

Speaker 4 No, that's what I'm being prosecuted for, is breaking an unwritten rule. You were prosecuted for breaking a written rule that you invented, and you didn't get subtracted.

Speaker 1 Yes, you did. You guys just decided I did.
No, you did.

Speaker 4 It was actually your rule that broke it.

Speaker 1 All right, so memes, what's the final ruling?

Speaker 5 Hank gets a point.

Speaker 1 Hank gets the two points. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 5 But PFT gets an official warning.

Speaker 1 A warning. Okay.

Speaker 5 And next time it's negative 10.

Speaker 1 And what if he doesn't? What if he doesn't send it? How long does he have to send the sweatshirt? Because that should be part of it. Oh, good point.

Speaker 5 You have one week.

Speaker 1 Wow. Okay.

Speaker 1 I can make that.

Speaker 4 Huey, can you please sign the sweatshirt?

Speaker 1 No, you have to do it.

Speaker 1 Okay. You're showing the chairs before you're doing it.

Speaker 4 All right. PK, I need you to sign the sweatshirt.

Speaker 1 Happily. Okay, so then the updated standings going into this Mount Rushmore would be PFT has 48, Hank has 46.
All right. So it's very close.

Speaker 4 Anyone's game. This is why we do Mount Rushmore season.
It's fun, isn't it? So much fun.

Speaker 1 I'm having a blast. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 4 I don't want to do the challenge again, not because I'm afraid of doing the challenge. I don't want to do it for a second year in a row.

Speaker 1 What challenge?

Speaker 4 The baseball challenge. Oh, no, that's for dingers only.
Yeah, you're breaking down. Oh, this is for a different challenge.

Speaker 9 Hank and I lost Mount Rushmore last year.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You'll get up to speed.

Speaker 1 Hank is assassin.

Speaker 4 Listen, we can't record before 10 a.m. That

Speaker 4 just doesn't work.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's do our interviews. We got Will Compton.
He's brought to you by our friends at Mountain Dew.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know. No, I know.

Speaker 1 PFG just made another inaccurate. But we started recording.

Speaker 1 We started recording before 10.

Speaker 4 Before 10.

Speaker 1 But Hank was...

Speaker 1 Hank is being a real bitch. I don't know what you were saying to me there.
I thought you were saying, like, it's 10.30. We got to hurry up, but you were just correcting him.

Speaker 4 He was like, can we wrap up this little podcast thing that you're trying to do?

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 uh, before we get to another mountain, before we get to Will Command, just for fun. I'm down.

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Speaker 1 Okay, Will Compton.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on our very good friend, Will Compton, the boy.

Speaker 1 Little Redemption,

Speaker 1 because last time he was on the show, it was the drunkest episode we've ever done. So, Will,

Speaker 1 first of all, let's start there.

Speaker 1 How bad were the scaries' anxiety when you woke up and you're like, I did a podcast.

Speaker 7 Yes, bro.

Speaker 7 My scaries, and you know, we message back and forth, but my scaries were through the fucking roof, man.

Speaker 1 It was a great performance. Not only that, I remembered how,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 7 you're in the final game, and so you're shit-talking, you know, to get in the other team's head. And I'm just trying to recall the things I was saying to Joey, the comedian that was with Pac Tiari.

Speaker 7 And, you know, you have no clue. You go in the next day in the shop, and the boys were talking about how obnoxious I was getting.
And you're just like, God, man.

Speaker 1 You were the drunkest man alive.

Speaker 7 Bro, when I saw your guys's first clip, and I'm just slurring.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 7 every word I felt like in my brain meant so much.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know that feeling.

Speaker 4 You think you're being super profound. Yeah.
Yeah. You get down to it and you listen back to it and you're like, that is the opposite of what I thought I sounded like.

Speaker 4 Although you made some good points about Max and how much he hates J.J.

Speaker 1 Rickick. Yeah, do you want to apologize to Max or do you think he still might hate JJ Reddick?

Speaker 7 No, yeah, I think that you were explaining something that I wasn't quite following.

Speaker 1 No, I brought J.J.

Speaker 7 Reddick into it. I was going to say, do you hate J.J.
Reddick for real?

Speaker 9 No, I love J.J. Reddick.
He was a great sixer. He was probably on the best sixer team

Speaker 1 of my lifetime, probably.

Speaker 1 I should have won. Did they win?

Speaker 9 No, he was on the Kawhi team.

Speaker 1 What year were you born, Max?

Speaker 9 I mean, the 0-1 Sixers, but AI was just the best player. That team honestly sucked.

Speaker 4 The team was bad, except for AI.

Speaker 1 Yeah, AI covered up a lot.

Speaker 7 So does that make you mad that JJ took the job at the Lakers?

Speaker 9 No, I like J.J. I appreciate JJ for everything that he's done for Philadelphia.

Speaker 4 What if the Lakers beat the Sixers in the finals?

Speaker 9 Then I would probably hate JJ.

Speaker 1 So he does. So he does hate Jason.
He does have the ability to say, there's a

Speaker 9 pre-hate. There's

Speaker 1 the potential of it. Sounds like you're onto something.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 What's the word?

Speaker 4 In vino veritas, in wine, there is truth.

Speaker 1 It sounds like Will tapped. A drunk man's thoughts are soberman's words.
He tapped into the universe. Soberman's words are a drunk man's words.
Right.

Speaker 7 Like, so if the Lakers beat the Sixers, you wouldn't be calling for JJ Duck to come home.

Speaker 1 A sober man's thoughts are a drunk man's words.

Speaker 9 Maybe got it from him. But I mean, that.
But that would be in my. he would be tapping into my brain, which.

Speaker 4 No, no, Will's asking you if the Sixers fired their head coach and they hired J.J. Reddick, it sounds like you wouldn't like that.

Speaker 1 Like, they were just doing J.J. Reddick.
Sixers fired. Yeah.

Speaker 7 But would you be hoping JJ comes to Philly?

Speaker 9 I like JJ. I would like to say that.
But you wouldn't want to make sure that you?

Speaker 1 Yes or no?

Speaker 9 I like Nick Nurse. I don't want anyone to get fired.

Speaker 9 I want JJ to keep his job. I want Nick Nurse to keep his job.

Speaker 7 So you wouldn't be excited about having J.J.

Speaker 1 as your head coach.

Speaker 9 No, I would.

Speaker 1 I just know you want to get him. I think he's going to be a good head coach.

Speaker 9 I do think he's going to be a good head coach.

Speaker 4 If you thought he was going to be a good head coach, then you would be like, yeah, I would take him over Nick Nurse in a second. Right.

Speaker 9 But you ride with your guys.

Speaker 1 So you do hate J.J. Redding.
Yes.

Speaker 1 We got to the bottom.

Speaker 9 Do you think Caleb Williams is going to be a good quarterback?

Speaker 7 What's that to do with J.J. Reddy?

Speaker 1 Was that for me?

Speaker 9 Either one of you. Do I think that? Do you think Jaden Daniels is going to be a good quarterback?

Speaker 6 Yes.

Speaker 9 Would you get get rid of Caleb Williams and take Jaden Daniels? No.

Speaker 9 So you hate Jaden Daniels? No.

Speaker 4 We're not talking about J.J. Daniels.
We're not talking about

Speaker 1 the fact that you said he's going to be a good coach. Or a good QB.
You think J.J. Ray is going to be a good coach? Correct.
Would you put your reputation on the line for it?

Speaker 1 I don't know. So you do hate J.J.
Ray. Oh, no.
Yeah. He hates J.J.

Speaker 9 I would put my reputation on the list.

Speaker 1 It's so clear. He knows that.
He hates J.J.

Speaker 4 J.J. needs this.
He needs doubters out there.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Putters and doubters.

Speaker 7 But it's good to be sober.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's good to be sober.

Speaker 1 That was, um, I don't think we'll ever do that again. Uh,

Speaker 1 it seemed like a good idea in the moment, and then the next day we all were going through because we were going to interview Joe Burrow, and it was like we were just all silent in the bus being like just the anxiety, you could cut it with a knife.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it was a bad day. We were at each other's throats.
Hank left his wallet in like three different locations and held us up big time and wouldn't apologize for anything.

Speaker 4 And so, any like, we weren't never mad at Will, obviously, because we were all in that same boat. We were hammered drunk.

Speaker 4 Uh, but then when the clips came out, I think we all thought that they were hilarious. When you see the clips come out, you're probably just like, turn your phone off.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I eventually listened all the way through on the JJ Ready part because I remember we, yeah, yeah,

Speaker 1 you're like one of the only people who made it all the way through this part.

Speaker 7 And it's like when you guys are talking about like writing back on the next day, like with your boys, you're almost like sitting there with anxiety, hoping somebody's like,

Speaker 7 hey, man, you were the MVP yesterday.

Speaker 1 Make me feel like, okay, all right, everything is all cool.

Speaker 1 It was epic. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, we didn't have to.

Speaker 7 But you all sit there and just assume everybody else is thinking like you're obnoxiousness specifically to you.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yes.
All right. So, Will, we're on the precipice of football season.
Actually, we can talk about this. It's coming out on Friday.

Speaker 1 We were all on the same team for Camp Barstool.

Speaker 1 I think, I don't know how you guys are feeling personally.

Speaker 1 This was just an eye-opening, like, goddamn it. I know I say this all the time, but like another one of like, damn, you are just so washed because the few fun activities we did have just made me.

Speaker 1 I actually am like 1% chance tomorrow I wake up and I can't walk. Yeah, I'm just paralyzed.

Speaker 4 Legs on fire. I'll tell you what, we won the real game, softball.

Speaker 7 Yeah. Dude, here's our list.

Speaker 1 Softball, wrestling.

Speaker 7 Swim relay, kayak relay. What else?

Speaker 1 Tramp, tramp ball. Tramp ball.
Like all like the cool ones where you had the actual sports. And they basically the closest things to the sports, we won.

Speaker 1 And they basically just won Donnie, Donnie, Chef Donnie, Chef Donnie. Like he just won all the time.

Speaker 7 He climbed the rock. He won the belly flop contest.
And White Sox Dave, White Sox Dave won paper, rock, scissors. Yeah.

Speaker 1 How did you win that? I was rock, paper, scissors. Rock, paper, scissors.

Speaker 4 I blame Stephen Che for that. Like going 0 for 4 and rock, paper, scissors, we had memes crunch the numbers on it.
You know how hard it is to go 0 for 4 in in RPS with no ties?

Speaker 4 He had a 1.2% chance of doing that.

Speaker 1 Like 99 times. Only Che broke.

Speaker 4 Or probably 99 times out of 100.

Speaker 1 In wrestling, Che bodied White Dean. Yeah, what are you talking about? He bodied him.

Speaker 1 He took his blow and turned it around on him. We also,

Speaker 1 we ended up losing, but we lost with class. There was the one moment, Will, where I had to correct you.
Yeah, I was going to say, you were leading the charge by winning with class.

Speaker 7 I'm like sitting in the back, like, fuck this, man.

Speaker 1 Let's go. He's like, let's get out of here.

Speaker 1 I was like, Will, we have to they remember when the pistons walked off the floor dude like you gotta you gotta at least shake some hands but and we and none of us had any freakouts yeah and it's it feels that way because

Speaker 4 we should have won i know we should have like we left some blades on the field like we might think that way if we were younger but at this age it's important to have that perspective if one event doesn't go your way you don't need to lose your cool you don't need to shove a ref shove a ref you don't need to attack anybody it's important to know like hey it's just a game right so it's just a game We had fun.

Speaker 4 We're all winners in my book. And I'm glad that we can look back on this week, all of us, and say we take pride in how we compete.

Speaker 1 I loved our team. I did too.
I loved working with our team all day. I know we seen our team next year.
Yeah. It was so much fun, though.

Speaker 7 Because part of me, like, when I, you know, I think, I believe I broke my toe. I just want to put that out there.

Speaker 1 Well, you went to the infirmary at summer camp. You've been here for 48 hours and you had to go see the nurse.

Speaker 4 So after the nurse, after Will left the table, the nurse came up to me and she was like uh so i asked him what activities he was planning on doing later on in the day and he said i played in the nfl for 10 years and she's like why did he tell me that

Speaker 7 that is not how it went that's what she said are you calling the nurse a liar no the nurse is a liar about what she said you don't respect she said she said what do you do and garrett he had the camera on me so i'm like making garrett laugh thinking she's gonna laugh so i took it as what do you do and i was like oh i played nine years in the nfl bounced around i was like bounced around a few teams but and then i was like i'm just fucking with you we're about to do swimming games.

Speaker 1 That's interesting. Because she said you weren't.

Speaker 7 But she had like a weird kind of reaction. I was like, okay, I guess that one didn't land well.

Speaker 4 She said you told her 10 years.

Speaker 4 You just said nine.

Speaker 1 Maybe I said a day.

Speaker 1 You never know how long. You round it up.
You round up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 7 I got as close as you can to 10 years without having 10 years.

Speaker 1 You kissed the wall. I got as close as you can.
Yeah, you couldn't have gotten any closer.

Speaker 1 We saw the tape of you dropping those balls in Atlanta.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I mean, Art, he clipped that up.

Speaker 1 That was the one drop I had. Well, I think there was a couple drops.

Speaker 1 I don't know if there's two. Hey, listen,

Speaker 1 there's a reason why you play defense. Yes.
You're not supposed to catch the ball. You're not there to catch the ball.

Speaker 1 Are you excited for football season? Oh, yeah, I mean, of course.

Speaker 7 It's the best sport in the world.

Speaker 1 It is, but do you, do you have, now that you've been out for, what, two years now? Yeah. Wait.

Speaker 4 No, like a year and a half. A year and a half.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are there any like moments where like, is there a training camp? Like, damn, I wish I was with the boys? A little bit.
I mean, we went to.

Speaker 1 Instead, you're playing swimming games with

Speaker 1 swimming through the pave. White Sox, Dave, and Che.
Che is literally your coach. Yeah.
And that's right. And he's like, how are you feeling today?

Speaker 7 I'm like, I'm going to figure out how to go.

Speaker 4 By the way, there's no worse coach or captain than Steve.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 4 Because he has no confidence in himself or in anybody. He'll come up to you and you can put your chest out.
You can be like, I'm ready to go in the kayak, Che. And he's like, are you sure?

Speaker 1 There was a moment yesterday where he was like, I didn't realize he was standing basically right next to me and someone asked me how it was going and i was like chase the fucking worst and he goes what and i and i turned and i was like oh i didn't see you there i said chase the fucking worst and he's like fair

Speaker 7 yeah do you miss it at all yeah i do every now and then but it's like Again, playing the games and everything out here, you truly realize, like, I see, when I see the hits that happen, I just think to myself, I have no clue how I was out there doing that.

Speaker 4 Yeah. It was the hardest you ever got hit.

Speaker 7 Oh, man, it was this all-pro cat. I forget his name,

Speaker 7 but number 76 or 78 for the Saints. And it was my second year or third year.

Speaker 7 And

Speaker 7 they ran this dip later where they pulled a couple guys outside and I just fucking took off because, you know, you're thinking, I got to get to them before they see me or get to me first, before they turn their shoulders.

Speaker 7 And I ran into this cat and he caught me just at the very end. And he didn't like do a whole lot to me, but he felt like I ran into a fucking brick wall.

Speaker 7 And I dropped, like, literally, right when I hit him, I lost all feeling in my legs. And like, my, my arms are kind of out wide.
And I was still trying to lean. And I just go down.

Speaker 7 And I can't like stand up because I hear him on the way, like, as he put me on the ground. He looks back.
He's like, night, night, motherfucker.

Speaker 7 And I was trying to like get up to like say something back, like, say, like, a joke back, but I couldn't stand up. Everybody's like, hey, stay down, stay down.

Speaker 7 And I just didn't have any like feeling in my limbs for a minute.

Speaker 1 How long was that? How long did you not have feeling?

Speaker 7 I don't know, probably like five seconds.

Speaker 1 That's scary as fuck, I'm sure.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I mean, it was like everything went stiff, but like on the ground, I'm coming together, but you kind of feel like that baby deer trying to stand up. You can't get your bearings underneath you.

Speaker 7 And then, you know, you go out, then you get right back in.

Speaker 1 Because you love the game. You do the same thing on the next play.

Speaker 4 It's like, I guess I got to do this again.

Speaker 7 Go side to side, and you'd just be like, hey, I'm good, man. I'm solid.

Speaker 1 I got there. Get me back.
No, Will was a beast.

Speaker 4 I did love watching Will play when he was a. You were a Redskin, right? Not a football team.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was a Redskin.

Speaker 4 Loved watching you on that team. Captain Will, Captain Compton.
Good story.

Speaker 4 Who do you root for more? Because you played on, let's see if we can name the Will Compton teams. It's just the Redskins.

Speaker 1 I'm going to stick by you.

Speaker 4 Redskins, Titans, Raiders,

Speaker 1 Saints. Yeah.
You were on the Saints.

Speaker 7 I was on the Saints for a cup of coffee.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And Falcons for the drop pass.

Speaker 7 Yeah, yeah. Almost Falcons.

Speaker 1 Almost Falcons.

Speaker 5 Almost Falcons.

Speaker 4 You got a workout sleeveless shirt, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Did you get the title? Time to take a picture.

Speaker 4 Or did they say, like, put it back in?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 7 Well, actually, when we went there in the spring, they let us put on gear and stuff for photos, but they're like, hey, do you mind putting everything back? Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's the last time it came. Yeah.

Speaker 4 So, yeah, do you root for one of those teams or do you have another squad? I don't know, man.

Speaker 7 Each of the teams I play for, I mean, outside of the Saints, because I just wasn't there very long. But the Raiders, Titans, and Commanders, I want them to do well because

Speaker 7 it's cool to root for them.

Speaker 7 But the NFL is such a business to where, like, once you're removed from them and you understand how the machine works, it's like you're more tied to players than you are the actual logo.

Speaker 7 Like, I want Washington to do well because it was like the spot where everything basically happened for me. It's like, I want the Titans to do well because I still know a few guys.

Speaker 7 And then the Raiders, it's like you still got some players over there that I play with, like, Max, that you're just like, yeah, you want the Silver and Black to do well. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That would be a weird moment when there's no teammates left. Yeah.
That will.

Speaker 7 It was a weird moment in Nebraska when I realized I didn't know anybody in the locker room anymore. And then you kind of feel weird going back.

Speaker 7 But now that I'm this far removed from football, I find myself being immersed more as a fan, like I was when I was younger.

Speaker 1 Big season coming up for the Cornhuskers.

Speaker 1 Dare I say make or break?

Speaker 1 I actually think you guys would be good because Matt Rule, everywhere he's gone, his second year has been phenomenal yeah i feel really good about the huskers okay i like their schedule yeah they're over under seven and a half i think that is

Speaker 7 i think that is high get those first seven i think you need to get that i think you need to jump on that um

Speaker 7 they just named rayola the starter yeah honestly man i think that they could i think that they could compete this year what does that mean what does that i think they could go 10 and 2 whoa

Speaker 4 i mean you're talking about maybe sneaking into a playoff spot yeah 10 and 2 Yeah.

Speaker 7 You got to think about it.

Speaker 7 If we're going into Ohio State, we're 7-0.

Speaker 1 How many times have you done this exercise and it actually worked out that way?

Speaker 7 Yeah, I know because I understand the history, the recent history of Nebraska to where it's like, oh, these guys are delusional, but there's something about this year, man.

Speaker 1 But the fact that you said if we get to Ohio State, I got some mind eclipse where you said exactly that.

Speaker 4 The fact that you said, think about it, we could be going into Ohio State and we're 7-0. You're kind of admitting that Ohio State's about to kick your ass.

Speaker 7 They could, but I think that would be good for us.

Speaker 4 You think so?

Speaker 7 Yeah, obviously I'm talking way into the future, like it's happening. But number one, like, yeah,

Speaker 7 if I'm trying to be, you know, everybody's like, oh, we'll be realistic. Trust me, I want to say 12-0.
But if I'm going to have some type of credibility in saying it, it's like

Speaker 1 if you have a credit card, I don't think you should have to worry about credibility.

Speaker 7 You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 Listen, we do this.

Speaker 1 We don't have credibility. You're right.
There's no reason to

Speaker 1 have the people.

Speaker 7 The fan bases that you're a part of, like if I'm just saying 12 on O, it's a competition.

Speaker 1 Yeah, maybe you throw 11.

Speaker 7 But if you say 10 and 2, a couple people are like, I mean,

Speaker 1 it sounds realistic. Well, and also,

Speaker 1 the trick is to do

Speaker 1 a couple different versions. You know what I mean? Like, when people ask me, like, what do you think about this Bears season? I'm like, 9-10 wins.
And they're like, well, what about the best?

Speaker 1 I'm like, 12-13. Like, you just throw out a a couple different numbers.

Speaker 1 Get a little cloudy and everywhere. Everyone's like, well, what do you say? And it's like, well, I kind of covered all my bases.

Speaker 1 That's the key. Yeah,

Speaker 7 I'm fired up, though. I think Rayola is going to be a stud.
We returned most of the black shirts. Top defense last year.
Last year, we were 5-7.

Speaker 1 We had 4-1 score losses. Yeah, in that Michigan game, if that fourth and one goes different, you probably win that game.
I mean, you lost at 42-7.

Speaker 7 Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they knew our signs.

Speaker 1 So if they don't know then, we can yeah,

Speaker 7 that game's a different story.

Speaker 1 I gotta say, Will, I was very excited to go to Nebraska. And

Speaker 1 maybe it's because the team, like, that game was just not really competitive. I know where you're going with this.
But that was tough. That crowd was like.

Speaker 7 They died in the second series.

Speaker 1 It just felt like it felt like one of those crowds where it's like they just have been, they just expect the bad thing to happen and they just can never fully get into it.

Speaker 1 And I know that, like, if they, if they rattle off some wins this year, they're an unbelievable fan base. No one, everyone knows that.
They sell out everything, sell out the spring game.

Speaker 1 But I was like, damn, what is going on here?

Speaker 7 Bro, I'm with you, man. It's like, I think it was...

Speaker 7 They scored, they had that long drive, and then like a pass got tipped the very first player, second player, and they picked it.

Speaker 7 And then when you need the crowd to be involved, the defense getting back out there on some third and shorts, like you need the fan element to like, hey, settle for a field goal, Ben, don't break.

Speaker 7 And then you go back and tell the offense, hey, we got you. Right.
Go back out there, clean that one off. But instead, it's dead.
They drive and score. And then it is like, oh, now the shit.

Speaker 1 And then, and then it's like, what, 21-0, and you got to go out in the fucking t-shirt.

Speaker 1 That was

Speaker 1 awful. At the start of the game, they're like, hey, start of second quarter, you want to hit the t-shirt canon?

Speaker 7 I was like, oh, hell yeah, that would be awesome. And when we started to get handled, bro, I'm like, this sucks.

Speaker 1 I'm going to have to go out here and just fake that. Hey, let's smile.
Let's get live.

Speaker 4 It's a very, very sad t-shirt, Cannon. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You got to move that up to like a little bit of a shot. There's a little thing, too.
There's like a little buggy or something. I don't even know what it is.

Speaker 1 But it was awesome, but it was like, oh, fuck, this is going to look ridiculous.

Speaker 4 One cool thing about Nebraska and college football, I don't know if you've seen this map, but this is the percentage of

Speaker 4 people who live in certain parts of the country that actively watch college football. And if you look at the hot spots on the map, the entire state of Nebraska.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 What, Alabama might have us?

Speaker 4 It looks like Alabama maybe, but like Nebraska, it starts and ends on the border of the state.

Speaker 4 It's like once you cross this line, you have to care about college football.

Speaker 7 It's oxygen out there, man. Oh, I like that set.
It's oxygen out there.

Speaker 1 It's oxygen out there. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, listen, I want Nebraska to be good. It'd be fun.
They're one of the teams.

Speaker 7 Which you take in seven and a half over-under?

Speaker 1 I'd have to look at the whole schedule.

Speaker 4 I mean, I like Will.

Speaker 1 Let's pull it up. Pull it up.
I'm getting talked into it. Max, give us the whole schedule.

Speaker 4 Will sounds like he means.

Speaker 1 Game by game.

Speaker 1 Now, listen, I don't think the Badgers are going to be that great this year.

Speaker 1 We have a really tough schedule and kind of a, you know, I think they're going to be, I think this is going to sound like loser talk, but I think you understand what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 I think they're going to be a better team than they were last year. They may not have a better record.

Speaker 7 Yeah, because you guys have to be able to get it. Because it's like

Speaker 1 we have to replace. Because I think Fickle,

Speaker 1 I think he's going to be solid. And we have to play

Speaker 1 Alabama non-conference, Penn State, Oregon. Like, it's a brutal schedule.
USC. So, like, they could end up.
The Badgers could end up being like 7-5, but I'd be like, I'm excited about the future.

Speaker 1 Yeah, let's go.

Speaker 4 No, I'm with you. Let's go through it one at at a time and we'll give instant reaction.
Win-loss.

Speaker 1 Me or just you guys? They have the easiest schedule in September.

Speaker 9 Nebraska, home against UTEP. Win.

Speaker 9 Easy. Home against Colorado.

Speaker 1 Win. Ooh, Deion.
Deion.

Speaker 9 Home against Northern Iowa.

Speaker 1 Win.

Speaker 9 Home against Illinois.

Speaker 1 Pillmas? Pillmas?

Speaker 1 They're always a sneaky team. Yeah, they are.

Speaker 4 I'm going to say Ty.

Speaker 1 Ty is good.

Speaker 9 Ty is good.

Speaker 9 Okay. Road, Purdue.

Speaker 1 That's also another one.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's a tough one. Well, no, because I feel like Purdue will use their crazy good game at home against a better team.

Speaker 1 Nebraska might be ranked if they're 4-0.

Speaker 1 So that could be a game. But they're 4-0 or their 3-0-1.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 That's a win.

Speaker 9 Home against Rutgers.

Speaker 1 So many home games.

Speaker 1 That's a win.

Speaker 1 The Rutgers is also going to be salty.

Speaker 12 Some good teams.

Speaker 9 Road against Indiana.

Speaker 1 Lost.

Speaker 7 Did you know that we were playing the Indiana?

Speaker 4 Signetti. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Win. I know that's your boy.
That's my boy.

Speaker 1 Here comes Lost. Yeah, here comes the gauntlet.
You know what?

Speaker 4 That's going to be a game that's actually Nebraska against JMU because Indiana got all of her best players and they got her coach. So that's me versus you right there.

Speaker 7 Yeah, when you were talking about on the plane, I was curious. I'm like, do we play Indiana this year? Because if so, like,

Speaker 7 I'm assuming PFT thinks that they'll beat us.

Speaker 4 Yeah, Indiana's going to win that game.

Speaker 1 Ready for the gauntlet? Yeah. Yeah.
Road against the Buckeye. Loss.

Speaker 9 Home against UCLA.

Speaker 1 Win.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 9 Road against USC.

Speaker 1 Loss. Loss.

Speaker 9 Home against Wisconsin.

Speaker 1 Loss. Okay, here's the thing.
Like I said, Wisconsin's, I don't think they're going to be great this year. Wisconsin handles Nebraska.

Speaker 7 That game came down to the wireless.

Speaker 1 I'm not even.

Speaker 1 But what's the record?

Speaker 12 Yeah, what's the record with Wisconsin-Nebraska?

Speaker 7 And you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Dude, look up Wisconsin versus Nebraska.

Speaker 7 You know what you're doing right now, too. No, I'm not.

Speaker 1 I'm just looking. I'm asking for the record.
I think it's like 10 and 1. Yeah, no doubt.

Speaker 7 I mean, when you took me on that walk with the fart video last year, you were kind of saying what the recent was.

Speaker 1 That was a close game last year. You guys should have a lot of people.
But we probably won that.

Speaker 7 When you say Wisconsin handles, you're just talking in the scope of their overall record of all time.

Speaker 1 Against Nebraska. Since Nebraska has been in the Big Ten, but you were saying our bitch.

Speaker 1 That's a fact. Fact or fiction.
What's the record?

Speaker 7 Total, it's Wisconsin, 13, Nebraska, 4.

Speaker 1 Okay, but what about in the last

Speaker 1 since the Big Ten? Because I don't know.

Speaker 1 They probably got a couple wins when they did steroids back.

Speaker 1 10-1?

Speaker 1 That's crazy. I knew that.
You knew that.

Speaker 1 You fucking knew that. Thank you for fact-checking, boys.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. That'll be a good game.

Speaker 7 You guys got our number.

Speaker 1 No, that'll be a good game. I'll be very interested to see because it'll be a big test for Wisconsin.
Yeah.

Speaker 9 And then the last game of the season is on the road, Iowa.

Speaker 1 Let's loss.

Speaker 7 We got to control the border, man.

Speaker 4 Do you get mad when Iowa beats you because it's like that's what we should be doing?

Speaker 4 Yeah. You might be the only person who's like envious.

Speaker 1 That's more me.

Speaker 1 Nebraska at their height is better than Wisconsin and Iowa. Iowa and Wisconsin are kind of...
Like when Iowa beats us, I'm like, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 Because we should be able to beat teams with punting and running the ball. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It pisses me off. Yeah.

Speaker 7 It's all of it, too, right?

Speaker 7 Like, Iowa and Nebraska are similar states, but I just get pissed because it's like the Iowa team last year is basically everybody in that division, but they just happened to win 10 games.

Speaker 7 You know what I mean? And then you got,

Speaker 7 what's his name? Butterbean out there beating you,

Speaker 7 throwing dimes against your defense, and you're just thinking, how in the fuck does this guy beat us? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Do you think that Matt Rule is the kind of coach, though, that like, if... If shit goes bad, is Matt Rule a guy that's going to like turn it around?

Speaker 1 I think so. He literally turned it around.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 7 I mean, I think you came across his speeches, I'm sure.

Speaker 7 And I feel like, like, you know, I'm sure nobody's out there watching Nebraska Hard Knocks, but they do have some nice training camp episodes out right now on YouTube. But

Speaker 7 the way he interacts with the guys, the words he has to say, it always feels like he has the right thing to say at the right time.

Speaker 1 I think both at Temple and Bale are his second years, he won 10 games.

Speaker 7 Is it? I thought the first year was like one. No, no.
The second year was like seven.

Speaker 7 And then he's double.

Speaker 1 And then you, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Either way, he's a turnaround guy. Yeah.
Like big time. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 7 I think he is definitely the guy. I think he's definitely the guy.

Speaker 1 And you didn't say that about Scott Frost.

Speaker 7 And if he's not, I mean, there were a couple. Yeah, we thought Scott Frost was the guy.

Speaker 1 That's a weird position.

Speaker 4 I wanted Scott Frost in, too, because he's like a hometown boy coming back. He was part of the squad in the 90s.
Yeah. Yeah.
So he's like a legend and then he comes back and then he stinks as a coach.

Speaker 4 Like, is he, does he feel like he's not part of Nebraska anymore?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 7 I think that would be a good question for him because I get curious to that too. It's like, man, it's got to affect you.

Speaker 1 She hit him with high tax.

Speaker 1 How are you doing? Yeah, just being like, hey, man, you still feel like you're part of Big Red? Okay, I'll dagging through that. True right now.

Speaker 1 How are you going to phrase it?

Speaker 7 I'm going to say what you just said.

Speaker 1 You're going to ask him if he feels like he's a part of Big Red?

Speaker 1 Maybe throw in like a, I hope you know you are. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, just so he, like, feels that way.

Speaker 7 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, what would you say?

Speaker 1 Hey, I'm having a debate with the boys. Like, do you still feel like you're part of Big Red? I hope you know you are.

Speaker 1 That's a good way to do it.

Speaker 4 Also, what do you think about JJ?

Speaker 7 What do you think about the Lakers side of JJ Reddick?

Speaker 1 Thoughts on JJ Reddick? I mean, I'm just,

Speaker 1 even as crazy as you've been, I actually do think, like, for the first time, Will, I'm actually on your side because every year that you've done the Nebraska, like,

Speaker 1 this year is different. I mean, like, this guy's crazy.

Speaker 7 It's going to end up in the same spot.

Speaker 1 This is the first year where I'm like,

Speaker 1 he actually has a little merit. Like, I think they're going to be a pretty good team.
I think they're going to go to a bowl game for the first time in forever. How long has it been the bowl drown?

Speaker 7 Has it been over a decade?

Speaker 1 It hasn't really. It might have been.
Polini? It's been bad.

Speaker 7 Was Polini the last one? Or did Mike Riley? No, Mike Riley.

Speaker 1 That was

Speaker 1 the higher year.

Speaker 7 He started like six or seven and oh. Yeah.
It was a similar schedule.

Speaker 1 You guys did the same thing that Wisconsin Wisconsin did Gary Anderson was our weird hire where you hire someone and Mike Riley say Utah State and Oregon State was Mike Riley like hiring someone from the west coast being like yeah come coach

Speaker 1 like just like you could like it made no sense none none and he you know we don't I don't have to I don't I don't have to throw shit on on Mike Riley

Speaker 7 do you want to text him and ask him if he's still I don't have his I don't have his because that the point that the time that he was there is like you know your staff gets fired and and then when he was transitioning that last group of seniors was the very last class that he was around.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 So that was the time where I didn't, you almost, everything kind of felt weird.

Speaker 1 Was he driving a Tesla? Might have been. Or not, maybe it was.
He could have been working for a Tesla, but it was like a Subaru or something. I was like,

Speaker 1 this isn't a Nebraska. Maybe like a Priest.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 It was something like. I could judge a lot by a football coach based on what car he drives.
Yeah. I could tell you how many games he's going to win.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Like Andy Reid probably has a truck from 1996.

Speaker 1 Yeah, or even a minivan. Yeah.
He could have a minivan for sure.

Speaker 4 Minivan would be good. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Matt ruling a minivan would be kind of weird.

Speaker 7 I wonder what Kush Will does drive.

Speaker 1 He drives a truck for sure. He has to.
He's absolutely

Speaker 1 a truck.

Speaker 7 He's a Chevy guy. Yeah.
There's no doubt.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. Anything else, Will?

Speaker 1 No, you guys are. We're going to see you a bunch more because you're going to be in the office.
I'm excited for football season. You're going to be a little bit more fun.

Speaker 1 Do you think the football show is going to be fun?

Speaker 1 Right, gambling with the boys?

Speaker 7 Yeah. We got to get in and on some action.
You had a clip that was out the other day talking about like, you know, the whole, it's not not about winning and losing, but having fun with your boys.

Speaker 7 Yeah. You guys just put your money in one thing and you're all rooting for it.

Speaker 1 I can't wait for that. I say it all the time.
And I know like people are like, oh, this loser talk because, you know, everyone online is hitting 65% of their bets somehow

Speaker 1 and knows the outcome after the game.

Speaker 1 But to me,

Speaker 1 obviously you bet. you know, what you think, but there's no better feeling than when you're sitting down watching a game with all your friends and you're all like, all right,

Speaker 1 what do we like?

Speaker 1 And everyone's like, all right, we like this. And then you're all in it together.
And it's just like, we're pulling up for this together. It's just the best feeling.
I fucking love it.

Speaker 7 What's going to be your first prop bet on Thursday? Because you got the first game.

Speaker 1 No. No, right? No.
Ravens Chiefs. Yep.

Speaker 7 Is that one on Thursday? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Ravens Chiefs. Bears played.

Speaker 12 Noon on

Speaker 1 first week one against the Titans. Sunday, Sunday? Yeah, Sunday against the Titans.

Speaker 1 You know what I love?

Speaker 4 Here's what I'm putting my money on this year. I'm going to go big on this.
Kind of a sharp play. Kansas City Chiefs over 11 and a half wins.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

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Speaker 1 Thank you for bringing that up, PFT, because

Speaker 1 goddamn, were you so stupid about the Chiefs last year?

Speaker 1 Why did you do that?

Speaker 7 In hindsight, just like you just said, yeah, the guys 65% of the players.

Speaker 1 But that's the one guy. But that's the one guy.
You said they weren't going to make the playoffs.

Speaker 7 That was my hot take.

Speaker 1 Wait, that take's got to be hot, right? They should all be hot. And that's one day.
But if you thought, and I remember so vividly after week one when they lost to the Lions.

Speaker 1 When they lost to the Lions. You were like,

Speaker 1 I am the fucking smartest man alive.

Speaker 7 I'm telling you, this is the year where they start to go down.

Speaker 4 Well, there has to be one person every year that has that take.

Speaker 4 It's the same person that was like, this is the year that Tom Brady falls off and Father Time catches up. You're right, right?

Speaker 4 There's always somebody that's out there being like, I don't believe in the Chiefs anymore.

Speaker 4 It's going to be a lot harder to not believe in the Chiefs this year.

Speaker 1 But in the take game,

Speaker 1 there's certain teams you just don't.

Speaker 1 I would never be like, oh, the Chiefs are going to suck this year.

Speaker 1 It's Patrick Mahomes.

Speaker 1 Were Chiefs fans giving you a lot of shit?

Speaker 7 You don't think, oh, they give me shit all the time.

Speaker 7 Yeah, it's like it's fun nowadays. But you don't think that division, Raiders, Broncos, Chargers, are going to be.

Speaker 1 Chargers will be better, for sure. No, I don't think that division is going to give them any problems.

Speaker 4 I'm sure. Not too worried about the Chargers.

Speaker 1 Are you doing this again? Are you doing it again?

Speaker 7 I mean, I'm doing it again, but

Speaker 1 you're doing it again.

Speaker 4 12 wins.

Speaker 1 No, I don't think so. You're doing this again, Will.

Speaker 7 I think that division is going to be scrappy.

Speaker 1 Will's doing it again. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Will, what are you talking about? Scrappy top to bottom. I'm telling you.
Would you have 10 wins? Nine? Will. I think they make the playoffs.

Speaker 7 I think they make the playoffs.

Speaker 1 I think they make the playoffs.

Speaker 7 I I don't think they win the division.

Speaker 1 Oh, well. Oh, well, well, well.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I love this. I love it, Will.

Speaker 4 Will's that mouse that keeps going back and touching the electric kids shot. He's like, I'm going to get this cheese next time.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we were literally just talking about it. You just did it again.

Speaker 7 Yeah, but man,

Speaker 7 I know deep in that brain, you're like, yeah, it could be a scrappy division top to bottom.

Speaker 1 It could be interesting.

Speaker 4 You're going to feel so smart, though, if it hits.

Speaker 1 I think the Chargers will be, because I believe in Harbaugh, will be better, but I don't think they're there they have they're doing a full roster overhaul I think the Raiders are gonna be better Herbert

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 Mahomes

Speaker 7 Bo Nicks

Speaker 1 Mahomes

Speaker 1 you didn't miss you

Speaker 1 a second Mahomes

Speaker 7 Bro I'm telling you I think

Speaker 1 that's just why do you hate the chiefs I don't hate the chiefs no it feels personal feels like you feels like you hate the chiefs as much as Max hates J.J. Reddick

Speaker 4 In your brief time in Las Vegas, did you develop that hatred for the Chiefs?

Speaker 7 No, not like that. I think it just developed over, like it's starting there, but I didn't hate the Chiefs.
You just knew that that was a big rule.

Speaker 1 That sounds like a guy who hates the Chiefs.

Speaker 7 No, I don't hate the Chiefs.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 A lot of good friends on that team.

Speaker 1 Like who?

Speaker 7 Harrison Buckner.

Speaker 1 Bucker.

Speaker 1 Wow, good friend.

Speaker 4 Good friend, great friend.

Speaker 7 Travis Kelsey.

Speaker 4 He dropped a fire quote about Winston Churchill the other day.

Speaker 1 He did.

Speaker 4 An NFL kicker is like, yeah, I'm just like Winston Churchill.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, man.
I know. I know.
All right. Well, Willie, you're the best.
We'll see you again soon. He'll be on again this fall.

Speaker 1 Great job.

Speaker 1 Listen, great wish.

Speaker 1 I'd go to war with you guys. I'd go to war with you guys any day of the week, even though we

Speaker 1 fell a little short. It's okay.

Speaker 7 The backstroke, and you were.

Speaker 7 I mean, you downplay yourself all the time. I think it's just

Speaker 7 part of the bag you try to work with. But you were.

Speaker 1 I did have the...

Speaker 1 It was a moment where will taylor and i taylor was on the other team will taylor and i were in our cabin right before we were heading out and i was just like man

Speaker 1 i feel like i'm like 50 tops right now and will just turns to me after we walked out he's like that was so smart we just did

Speaker 4 oh will do you do you secretly miss just uh like after you know after we're done today we go we eat dinner we hang out socialize a little bit outside maybe hit the showers but we're all not showering together in a big open open area, all butt-naked, looking at each other.

Speaker 4 Does that do you miss that at all in the NFL training camp?

Speaker 1 Well, Will showers with his shorts on.

Speaker 4 He does. That's a fact.
Yeah, that was. I was talking to Will about that yesterday, though.
It is kind of weird that after practice, yeah. Games in the NFL, they're like, oh, okay, boys, pack it up.

Speaker 4 And then they all just take all their clothes off. Yeah.

Speaker 4 We do, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 12 And you got that nickname.

Speaker 7 I mean, I miss being in the locker room.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 It's some of them shower conversations, man.

Speaker 1 That's when it gets real.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's when it gets real. Yeah.

Speaker 7 The scrimp nickname.

Speaker 1 Well, you own it. They go scrimp.

Speaker 1 Who the hell are you in here talking about today?

Speaker 4 Yeah, they must be calling me Jumbo. Yeah, that's cool.

Speaker 1 All you can eat. Yeah.
All right. Thank you, Will.
Appreciate it. You're the best.

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Speaker 1 And now for something completely different.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a recurring guest, a little bit of a better setting than last year when he was on. It is comedian Sam Morell.

Speaker 1 Sam, first of all, welcome to the new office. We promised you last time you were here, we were in like a closet that we'd be in a little bit of a better spot.
So here we are.

Speaker 2 This is crazy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 great to have you.

Speaker 4 I think last time there was a toilet that was flushing in the background the entire time.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's right. Yeah.

Speaker 4 We had a pipe running through our studio. So whenever somebody would flush upstairs, we would just get a big dump going through our studio.

Speaker 1 It was a dark time for us. We just like, there was a couple guests that came through and were like, we swear, like, we didn't move to Chicago for this.
And now we're here. So no, this is insane.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's pretty, it's pretty nice.
So you have a new special out on Amazon. Yeah.
And you were saying to me earlier, your new special is out, but now you have to get a new special.

Speaker 1 And that's the hard part about comedy.

Speaker 2 It never goes away, man. It's painful.
Yeah. It's like

Speaker 2 you, people are like, oh my God, you have a new hour out. I'm like, yeah, cool.
I have to start at fucking zero. Yeah.
You're just like in the, you know, you're just in it.

Speaker 2 You feel like you're in spring training. You're just out of shape and shitty.
And you're like, no, I swear I'm good at this. But then they come out and I'm like, it's going to be all new shit.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Do you ever get a moment to be like, oh, that was awesome. I'm going to take some time to enjoy that?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 1 Well, you're addicted to comedy. Yeah.
You have an actual, like, an addiction.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's hard. It's hard to.

Speaker 2 I really don't really, I'm not good at celebrating ever. I'm not, I was never like a birthday guy.
I was never like, oh, this is awesome. No,

Speaker 2 I like the grind of starting a zero back on the road and just having a, having to build it again. Yeah.
It's humbling. It keeps you like from being a piece of shit.

Speaker 1 Wait, so you didn't celebrate the Amazon special coming out for even like a week? No.

Speaker 1 No. What are you doing it for?

Speaker 2 I was getting too frustrated. They were just turning down.

Speaker 2 Every time I'd be like, hey, they'd be like, what should we market your clip as? And everything they'd suggested, like, well, that's not a joke.

Speaker 2 It'd be like a setup and they'd be like that's that's it and i'm like no here's nine options and they were like none of those work yeah and i was like what do you mean they're like what's a bad representation of amazon and i was like well it's on amazon yeah you know and then i'd see like what they would post otherwise it'd be like homelander from the boys sucking on a woman's breast or something i'd be like this is okay and you got to be careful because like whatever they choose to market your stand-up with that's what people are going to see yeah and then they'll assume that's the entire thing like netflix they put out a bad clip of joe rogan and everyone's like joe rogan is the worst person he's the worst stand-up comedian ever.

Speaker 4 And so it's just like what they market you as is not always what's contained in the special.

Speaker 2 It's usually like someone 22, fresh out of college, who's like, you're like, this should be like an important job. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. So you're, you're, did you also get almost called a pedophile?

Speaker 2 Not, not to my knowledge.

Speaker 1 Wait, no, there was some, one of your jokes, I feel like went viral and people were like, this guy

Speaker 1 recently. Maybe I'm a pedophile.
Yeah, maybe it wasn't that new one.

Speaker 2 I've never heard it.

Speaker 4 No, probably, yeah, probably for the best.

Speaker 1 I can't even remember. Someone maybe posted one of your jokes, and everyone was like trying to take it out of context.
And it was like, well, this is bullshit. Like, he's a comedian.

Speaker 1 That's the hard thing with those clips, right?

Speaker 2 Because it's like you put them on social media. It's like, it's like a comedy club where someone's opening the door and being like, that's fucked up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right.

Speaker 2 Well, it's not for you, obviously. Right.

Speaker 2 I don't know. I don't.
I've definitely have a lot of pedo jokes.

Speaker 1 That was a bad question by me, being like, hey, did you get accused of being a pedophile?

Speaker 1 Now,

Speaker 2 this is going to get

Speaker 1 part of like some. Yeah,

Speaker 1 at least address it.

Speaker 4 Hypothetically, what would your response be if somebody were to accuse you of being a pedophile, Sam?

Speaker 2 I would say Kevin Spacey was exonerated. Maybe I'll have similar luck.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I have a lot.

Speaker 2 I definitely had a lot of pedo. I had a joke back in the day about how the best thing about pedophile jokes is like no one ever gets offended.
Yeah. Because

Speaker 2 no one's going to stand up in the crowd. Like, that's enough.
Right. You know what I mean? No one's standing up for them.
I had a lot of pedo jokes in my last special.

Speaker 2 I don't know if I had any in this one.

Speaker 4 Did Amazon say like, let's not include those in the clips?

Speaker 2 They asked me not to include one joke in the special they asked me to cut one joke and i as you know my friends are like dude fuck that you're an artist i'm like what are you talking about like i i get the joke back yeah i was like thrilled it was a i opened on a joke that was like uh my friend uh i texted her she was pregnant i said congrats on the baby she just had a baby and she sent me back a picture of her breastfeeding i was like oh okay and then uh she was sorry if that's like the female equivalent of a dick pic and i was like that'd be way worse if uh i send you a picture of a baby sucking my piece

Speaker 2 that was my first joke i just thought it was like a quick fun joke and they were like can you not open on that and i was like well it's kind of hard to move it yeah it's kind of hard to put it in like the middle of the special yeah so then uh that was an issue and then i was just like well i'll just keep it i'll just yeah yeah that's a bonus that yeah there must be just one less joke that you have to write when you're coming with new material right i know yeah that's the tough thing but uh

Speaker 2 I mean, look, they didn't, they didn't ask me to cut anything. They were just like, this will fuck it up in the algorithm.
Like, people will get. It's so funny.

Speaker 2 You're like, they always could say that, algorithm. I know.

Speaker 1 Like, anytime anyone, they're just like oh yeah, well we got to do this for the algorithm. I'm like, okay, I know sure take your shirt off and make this, you know, tick-tock video for the algorithm.

Speaker 1 All right. That's Bert.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. It's like get in the algorithm.

Speaker 4 It must also be weird taping a special and like you tape it and you know that it was good. You're happy with your performance.

Speaker 4 But then you have to wait and be like, well, I don't know if the actual stand-up special is going to be good because there's so much else that goes into like putting out like a video of your performance than actually just doing the performance live, right?

Speaker 2 I felt good about it. We did four shows, which is stupid.
It's a huge waste of money, but I liked it. I did seven when I did one in Chicago.
I'm a psycho. I'll just keep taping.

Speaker 2 I'm like, no, let's just keep taping them. I'm just watching money just disappear from my account.
But I'm like, no, it'll be cool. We'll just keep taping it.
And

Speaker 2 yeah, by the fourth one, I knew we had a good moment too where a woman, I didn't want hecklers, but like if someone heckled, I didn't want to put any crowd work in the actual special because there's so much crowd work on the internet right now.

Speaker 2 And I was like, I'm just going to do start to finish jokes.

Speaker 2 But one woman heckled a joke and I was like, I kind of got got to keep this in because it was a quick moment. But I just said the words Fox News, and she was like, Boo!

Speaker 1 And I was like, A joke is coming. It's not a joke not coming.

Speaker 2 Maybe I'm just going to say the words Fox News.

Speaker 2 And then she was like, I'm sorry. And I was like, hold on, I've never heard a woman say that before.
Let me take that in. So that was like a fun, quick one.

Speaker 2 But I'm like, I'm not going to, I didn't want crowd work in the special.

Speaker 4 Yeah. What is it about hecklers? What's the mentality of somebody that goes to a comedy show and is like, you know what? Now is my time to chip in.

Speaker 2 It's a good question. I mean, alcohol, maybe,

Speaker 2 maybe just that you, you know, you're that person. I think you probably lack a self-awareness, and maybe your group of friends around you is always like,

Speaker 2 you're that person. There's like a weird thing of someone's like, well, I tell it like it is.
I'm like, well, that's not a talent.

Speaker 1 Anyone should do that. You're just being an asshole.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 The person who's like, I said it. I'm like, anyone can say it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Say it cleverly. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I just wonder if those people, if they're like that every single show they go to or if something snaps. And they're like, I can't hold back anymore.

Speaker 1 I think it's also like, I know, because I've seen Shane do a couple shows, and I think that there's, and this is a good thing that you want your fans to feel this affinity towards you.

Speaker 1 But I think a lot of hecklers show up. They're being like, I'm going to make Shane Gillis laugh.
Yeah. And you're like, well, you're probably not because he's very, very funny.

Speaker 1 And also he's doing a show. But like in their head, they're like, this is my moment.
Yeah. I'm going to make him laugh and then we're going to be best friends.

Speaker 2 Totally. Yeah.
Shane is. you know, you might make him laugh at the bar afterwards, but on stage,

Speaker 2 Shane is like, his fans are also probably probably just all guttural alcoholics you know yeah shane's insanely funny but his fans shane drinks heavily yeah and like oh we've been we've been with him many times

Speaker 2 it's like a video game when i see him just like how do i get around shane without getting blackout drunk yeah and i lose most times but i saw him in nashville just recently i was passing through nashville he was at some i was at some post malone concert it was really fun I see Shane.

Speaker 2 He's like, your beer looks light. I'm like, it's not like a see-through glass.
You don't know it's light. But he just assumes you, he's like, have another beer.
And I'm like, I'm hungover.

Speaker 2 I've been, I flew in that day. I'm like, all right, I'll have one.
And he's like, he just keeps an eye on everybody. He's like making sure he's like a fucking bad cop.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 he did a case race with us on the yak, and I made the mistake of just being like, oh, I think like you and I will be like the two heavy hitters. It was like dissing Jordan.

Speaker 1 Like he was just like, oh, yeah. And then he like took a party.
Afterwards, he's like, yeah, you shouldn't have said that because he just dominated everyone. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I was like, yeah, I probably shouldn't have. That was

Speaker 1 impressive.

Speaker 8 I like that he's like a coach.

Speaker 2 He sees people that aren't drinking enough he's and he's like a football guy he's a football player so he just gives you tough love he's like come on pussy yeah let's go one more rep yeah get it in it was brutal it was him and joe de rosa who are just both joe's 46 joe's got to slow down joe's like that dude who like you know that friend who's like kind of happy to be at a funeral because it's an excuse to do shots yeah or he's like we got to do this for steve i'm like you fucking love this dude yeah you love that he died yeah

Speaker 1 another party wait how old are you i'm 37.

Speaker 2 okay so you still got some i got a couple more years but it's hurting i'm hurting now i had some martinis last night with with christa stephana we're getting hammered at shaw's crab house he's with his family we're just pounding martinis he's like let's go on a boat tour so we're in we're doing like and by the way Boat tour with a woman just narrating.

Speaker 2 So it's like her comedy show where she's like, don't interrupt me. No, no sound.
And I'm like, so we just got drunk and we have to be quiet.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So now I'm in my head. I'm like, yeah, you can't.
You got to be respectful.

Speaker 1 It's the thing.

Speaker 2 But we're just like staring at each other shit faced, looking at your beautiful city. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Like this is a mis both knowing it was a mistake to get on that boat.

Speaker 2 He had a great, I think he liked it.

Speaker 4 The architecture tours are kind of cool here. It's very cool.

Speaker 1 It's beautiful. Yeah.

Speaker 4 It's a lot of fun facts. It was also perfect weather day.

Speaker 2 Oh my God. You get one of those perfect, like

Speaker 1 not too hot

Speaker 1 Chicago summer days. It was like 10 p.m.
It was late. Oh, yeah.
You guys, you guys went after dinner? Yeah. Jesus.

Speaker 4 I didn't know they did night tours. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It was cool. If you checked that out, it was very cool.

Speaker 1 So, so you are addicted to comedy. Have you taken any breaks?

Speaker 2 I did a little bit last year.

Speaker 1 Which is what? How long? A week. It's fucking crazy.

Speaker 2 It's so painful to get back into comedy. It's so to stop and then have to start again is so, it's excruciating.
I hate going on feeling weak as a comic. I like always knowing I'm in comedy shape.
And

Speaker 2 I like touring. I've talked to like legends in comedy who are like, you're burning yourself out, which is totally true.
But like, what else am I going to do?

Speaker 2 You know, I always wanted to make like a TV show or a movie. I'm working on stuff like that.
But in the meantime, like, I want to go all I love Stan is my favorite thing to do.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, I laugh at it, but also whenever we take like a week vacation, I'm like, I want to talk about sports.

Speaker 2 I know.

Speaker 1 Like, I get the itch where I'm like starting to go a little stir crazy in my brain where it's like, I don't have this outlet and you can't relax for like an extended period of time.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's

Speaker 2 you've gotten to this level because you guys are workaholics.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 You don't get to where you got. You don't get this studio by being like, I'm going to Mykonos next week.
No, you fucking work your ass off.

Speaker 4 I did go to Mikonos Mikonos this summer, but did you?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 You guys are falling off.

Speaker 1 But we came back.

Speaker 4 We did tape while I was there to talk about NBA free agency. Yeah.
That's cool. So there was that.
So it's not really a full trip.

Speaker 4 But like, are you, do you think you're a workaholic in the true sense of the word? Like, no matter what you were doing, you would be like this? Or is it just comedy?

Speaker 2 Probably comedy. I really like what I do, so I'm pretty fortunate.
Yeah, if I didn't, if I hated what I did, I would probably not be. going crazy working at it.

Speaker 2 But I also, when people say workaholic, like it's just hilarious hilarious to me. Cause I'm like, I did two sets last Monday.
It's like 15 minutes each. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Less than an hour day at work. Our job is awesome.

Speaker 2 You're like, you're a fucking workaholic.

Speaker 2 I was home in an hour 15. Yeah.

Speaker 1 When I say like, I'm a workaholic, it's like, oh, you did a three-hour video game stream. Exactly.
Like, yeah, I guess I am. Guilty as charged.

Speaker 2 My podcast is literally me getting shit faced. And people are like, you had a hard day at work.
Like, you work all day. I'm like, I was drunk with my friends.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's not

Speaker 1 the rules. Yeah.

Speaker 4 That sounds fun. So So, you, you do, you tour a lot, you do a lot of shows.
You're going to Europe, right? Yeah, going to Amsterdam.

Speaker 2 Never been. That'll be fun.
Only there at night, unfortunately. We added a show.

Speaker 2 I can't believe that's the weird thing: is like you undersell in some places, and uh, and then places like Amsterdam, we added a show. It's crazy.

Speaker 4 Do you have to like plan ahead to see because and Frank House? Well, stand-up comedy, tickets like six weeks out for that thing.

Speaker 1 I know it's a hot ticket.

Speaker 2 I don't want to be calling my agent. You got to get me in.

Speaker 4 It is crazy, but like when you're doing show, I would imagine that different audiences react differently to different jokes right yeah when you're traveling overseas there's also maybe a small language barrier sometime yeah do you have to think about which jokes like a dutch audience is going to be into totally yeah you don't sometimes you can groom your set you go all the way through it and then by the way groom that's

Speaker 2 there it is that's why people are saying it's a pedophile but no you go through it and then you don't realize till you're mid

Speaker 2 set and you're like fuck they don't have panda express in london you know you're just like shit i don't i don't know that so yeah it's it's stressful you you don't realize till midway through, but the, the shit that's universal is so funny.

Speaker 2 I had a joke in my special about, like,

Speaker 2 like, I went down a girl and it was, I didn't know how long I was down there, but it was at least 22 minutes because the entire episode of Frasier played in the background.

Speaker 2 And, like, how, you know, I'm like, fucking Niles. Like, I had a whole thing about that.
And everyone, like, applauds when I say Niles in Australia.

Speaker 1 Like, Niles is that global.

Speaker 2 It's huge. So it's funny the shit that people don't mix, but then, or they don't catch, but then the stuff they do catch, you're like, wow, this is global.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 We got to to talk about your knicks yeah dude jalen brunson i love him so much i couldn't love a player more

Speaker 1 he clearly like someone's paying him

Speaker 2 someone's paying him in new york city i hope so yeah there's got to be something to leave that kind of money on the table like dude i i was at so many games this year and like i i can't remember loving a player this much i mean i love starks and ewing and oak and and the 90s knicks so much mason but like

Speaker 2 that team was lovable in like a way like they're gonna fuck you up these guys are lovable and like they're best we're just watching best friends win together yeah awesome right it is cool and I feel like you know for the most part people root against New York City at like national level but within you know why not why the Knicks is my question because I'm saying the Yankees

Speaker 4 because you're also Yankees fans that's fair that's kind of like the the math that we do in our head but the Knicks were so good and so fun that I feel like for the most part America didn't hate the Knicks like yeah we loved watching the Knicks because they were a fun team to play you know like it was it was cool watching them like you said friends from college playing on the same team,

Speaker 4 having success in the NBA playoffs. And their style of play, I feel like it translates.
It's like universal. So we loved them.

Speaker 2 It's beautiful. It's like what you hear the 60s and 70s Knicks played, like just moving the ball.
You know, the injuries did us in, but like, I think this year we're pretty good.

Speaker 2 It just hurts so much to lose Hardenstein. He's like, well, he was one of my faves.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 He's a bruiser. He's a high IQ guy, great passer.
Like, I loved how he played.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, Jalen Brunson is so much fun.

Speaker 1 I mean, like, he bet on himself and, like, the fact that he just ended up in New York where, like, people love that style, like, New York point guards and all that stuff. It's just.

Speaker 2 We never had that guy either. Like, you look at a, like,

Speaker 2 who are we starting? Shane Larkin?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 You know, I'm like, uh, fucking Tony Douglas. No disrespect to these guys, but like, no, I'll disrespect them.

Speaker 1 You don't need NBA players, but they're barely NBA players.

Speaker 2 And now we have a guy who's like, I think it's fair to say he's

Speaker 2 in the combo of a top 10 guy. In my opinion, he's definitely in my top 10.
Yeah. You know, I'm sure people will argue that, but he's a hell of a player.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I got into argument because I was like, I, I,

Speaker 1 superstars in the NBA are like, there's like five of them. Yeah.
And I was like, he's not a superstar yet. And Knicks fans were very upset about that.
But I was like, he's on the way.

Speaker 1 He's got to be a little bit more. That's the only way I would go against that, though.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 He elevates in the playoffs. Of course.
To me, like, you have to, okay, is he a regular season superstar? Debatable, fine, but you've got to put a guy like Jimmy Butler in that conversation, too.

Speaker 2 Guys who are.

Speaker 1 See, he's not a superstar to me, but in the playoffs,

Speaker 1 yeah. And I also think he's going to be there.

Speaker 1 Like, him and Anthony Edwards are going to be superstars, where it's like the face of the NBA in a year or two, where it's like, that was the first deep run for Jalen Brunson.

Speaker 1 And this next year is going to be a big year for him. And if he goes deep again, it's like, oh, shit, this guy is, he's the real deal.

Speaker 1 He is the real deal.

Speaker 2 He is the real deal. And he's fearless and a closer.
Just losing. We don't have depth at the big.
I loved Hardenstein.

Speaker 2 I knew he was leaving because I DM'd with him a little and I invited him to the Comedy Cellar. and he said, oh man, I would have, but I'm in Houston.
I was like, would have?

Speaker 2 This is a week out, you know, so I know it means he's not coming back.

Speaker 1 Do you ever feel weird DMing players?

Speaker 2 No, because

Speaker 2 it's not like I'm like a fucking chick sliding in all these dudes' DMs, but I'm just like, oh, great game, occasionally a great game or something. And he

Speaker 1 good game. Yeah.

Speaker 2 He had so many huge plays.

Speaker 1 Well, does he follow you? Yeah. All right.
That's a totally normal thing.

Speaker 2 So that's why I did it.

Speaker 2 I'm not just cold sliding in, but like he,

Speaker 2 yeah, we were at a game and he came over to high-five me in the playoffs. And Chris DeStefano and his fucking meatball cop friend got in front of us to try to intercept a high five.

Speaker 2 And I was like, what the hell are you doing? That was my high five. That was my high five.

Speaker 2 And he like went away like shaking his head because this guy was like 300 pounds of muscle, Chris's cop friend. Like, he's like, no one's taking that high five.
You break your hand. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then after the game, he DM'd me. I tried to high five you, but some dumbass got in front of you.
And I just show it to Chris. I go, you're the dumbass.
You cost me a fucking playoff high five.

Speaker 2 I loved him.

Speaker 2 I mean, the energy of the garden was something unlike.

Speaker 1 It is special.

Speaker 1 I was skeptical because I was like, it can't be that much different. But then I went to a playoff game two years ago and I was like, okay, this is pretty sick.

Speaker 2 That was against Atlanta, you mean?

Speaker 1 The Cavs.

Speaker 2 The series against Atlanta. Oh, yeah, that was a good one.

Speaker 1 But I was just like, this is sick. Like, this is, you could tell that everyone's just in it, and it's so loud throughout the entire game.

Speaker 2 Dude, it was epic. I mean,

Speaker 2 here in Tracy Morgan,

Speaker 2 I was lucky enough to get good seats, some of those games. One, one game, Tracy Morgan, just he turns behind to look at us and he goes, Rio animals eat meat.

Speaker 2 Like, I don't know what that means.

Speaker 1 We're just like, hell yeah, dude.

Speaker 4 He means something in that moment. I meant something.
The way that he says it, you're like, he's right. No, we were like nodding.

Speaker 2 We're like, fuck yeah, they do, dude.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and you had all the old Knicks there, which was a little depressing because it wasn't like, you know,

Speaker 1 they were good players, but not like, oh, man.

Speaker 2 Bernard King's a legend. Yeah, but it was like

Speaker 1 Steph Marbury and like

Speaker 1 Mari Stottemire. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Hey, Amari gave us one of the best half seasons in life.

Speaker 1 That was a beautiful thing.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
Look, Marbury, it didn't work out. That was a tough era.
Yeah. That was a tough one.
But he's a New York kid, and I think his story is still pretty cool. It is.

Speaker 1 So I was having this conversation with a couple buddies the other day, the New York Sports Mount Rushmore.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's kind of depressing because it's probably all Yankees. Like, I was thinking about it, and I was like, is it all Yankees?

Speaker 9 Whoa, so it's Cheater, Ruth, Ruth,

Speaker 1 Mantle.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but then you say we could go like 10 deep.

Speaker 1 True, with the Yankees.

Speaker 2 And then it's better than a lot of other teams.

Speaker 2 Absolutely. Because maybe Mariano Rivera is not even on it.

Speaker 1 I think I settled on Mantle, Ruth,

Speaker 1 Mo, and Jeter.

Speaker 1 DiMaggio. DiMaggio.

Speaker 2 You can't put Mantle over DiMagis.

Speaker 1 So DiMaggio over Mantle. But then what other sport would get in?

Speaker 4 Joe Namath.

Speaker 1 No, he sucked.

Speaker 1 Eli would get in over Joe Namis.

Speaker 2 Eli is definitely an over-Joe. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But like, it's kind of depressing when you think about the other sports. You're like, who else?

Speaker 2 Frazier and Reed are pretty iconic. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But the Yankees are so iconic. Right.

Speaker 2 I get why. I mean, you didn't say Gehrick.
Like, Luke Garrick's numbers are fucking stupid.

Speaker 1 Right. And you leave off like Mark Messier.
And like, there's a bunch of, but like, the Yankees are just the Yankees. Lawrence Taylor.
Yeah, Lawrence Taylor. Yeah.
But I think it's all Yankees.

Speaker 1 Kretsky. Yeah, but Kretzky at the end.

Speaker 2 You know, Messier was older when he was a Ranger.

Speaker 1 Lundquist, like, but it's all Yankees, problem.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Lundquist. You had to do it.
That's a man that guy is.

Speaker 5 He still is.

Speaker 2 He's still a gorgeous guy. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, would Ewing even touch it?

Speaker 2 It's just tough because of the Yankees, you said, and the winning, but like, yeah, Ewing, I love Ewing so much. Yeah.
I mean, that voiceover he did for Brunson, I was like, fuck.

Speaker 4 I love that we didn't even consider any Mets on this list. No.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 The problem is like who makes it? When he dykes rock.

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's kind of depressing. Like, it's not, there's a lot of cities where you're like, boom, that's the Mount Rushmore.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then the New York, yeah, the Yankees can fill it up, but then you're like, wait, we don't even have any other sports?

Speaker 4 I think for the Knicks, you got to put Stephen A. Smith on there.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was a little bit.

Speaker 4 What did you think about Stephen A. during the playoffs? Like, they made the game about Stephen A.
Smith. Well, isn't that what he always does?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I was shocked to see that Stephen A. Smith made it a bit more.
Did you think at any point, like, hey, the Pacers are also playing in this? Or because

Speaker 1 you're a New Yorker through and through, you're like, no, this is just how coverage should be.

Speaker 2 No, I knew it was not.

Speaker 1 okay for

Speaker 2 what he was doing, but I also don't really watch him, to be honest. Like I kind of like mute until the game starts.
I don't want to watch his halftime show. It's awful.

Speaker 2 I mean, when they go from TNT to him, I'm like, this is the biggest

Speaker 2 turnaround I've ever seen. Yeah, he just kind of, it's like, you know, when you play in the park with someone who's like an ISO guy and doesn't pass to anyone, that's what he does.

Speaker 2 And then you see Ernie and he's like dishing it out. He's getting everyone cooking.
It's like, it's just not good TV to me. No.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it was very strange. And I kept feeling like they were just giving the Pacers more ammo.
It's like, this is exactly what they want.

Speaker 2 Well, they only, they won because of the injuries. I know that I'm going to get shit every time I say this, but it's like they're not beating us without.

Speaker 2 I mean, we didn't have one starter who's our current starter playing with Brunson.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was pretty bad at the end. Yeah.
It was.

Speaker 2 And when Brunson broke his hand, I was at that game. That was hell.

Speaker 1 Where do you land on the Tibbs argument? He's great. But.
Like, I know the injuries weren't exactly, you know, some of them were freak injuries, but this is what I struggled with with the Bulls.

Speaker 2 It's like he gets his teams to play so hard throughout the regular season and they just run out of gas gas in the playoffs and they get injured and they just everything falls apart we're in love is he toxic who knows you know like if I love a girl that's treating me like shit I still love her yeah so I don't know you're asking the wrong guy I love Tibbs yeah like I think he's they buy in if you don't buy into Tibbs yeah he's not right but if the best player and all the other best players buy in like Randall bought in before Brunson Brunson buys in no they do they all die I mean they all play so hard for him og is the only one that worries me a little because of his durability And same with Mitch, of course.

Speaker 2 But like, I think if they're healthy for the playoffs, we're like, we're tough. We just need that backup five.
Like, Hardenstein was so valuable. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's such a good one. He was so good.

Speaker 4 So, what happens next year?

Speaker 2 I think we have to see how this plays out because part of me is like, is our defense going to be insane? Or is our shooting not going to be quite good enough without Dante in the lineup? So,

Speaker 2 I mean, but the length defensively with Bridges and

Speaker 2 OG and then Randall just beating you up. I I mean, it could be a physical team.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah. And a fun team to root for, too.

Speaker 2 Yeah, look, Boston is an amazing team, but they're just not fun. Tatum is not fun.

Speaker 4 Does he have aura?

Speaker 2 He has no aura. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You think Tatum? I don't know. No, no, no.
We're not sure. We're firmly on the no aura.

Speaker 2 I mean, Brown has some aura.

Speaker 1 Oh, he's definitely got it.

Speaker 2 I think Tatum has no aura. I think Drew has aura.
Yeah. But Tatum is like, once your mom starts being like, this isn't fair.
It's like, shut the fuck up, dude.

Speaker 1 Who gives a shit?

Speaker 2 Like, this isn't, no, you you don't get greatness from a supportive mom yeah you don't you're not an alpha tony soprano had a bad mom he's a fucking alpha lebron's mom's fucking his teammates yeah he's an alpha yeah you need you need a bit of like yeah maybe he should be on the bench Look at the numbers.

Speaker 2 He should have been on the bench in team USA. He wasn't a good enough spot up shooter.
Devin Booker's a better spot up shooter. And then he doesn't play the D that Drew plays.

Speaker 2 Like he should have been. He's a great player who should have been not getting minutes over LeBron or KD.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Mom needs to be crazier. I like that take.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I wonder, too, if they hadn't won the title, would this conversation even be happening? Because it was more like, I mean, Tatum's a very good player.

Speaker 1 He should have probably played more minutes than just not playing some games. But if they don't win, are people as up in arms about

Speaker 1 not playing?

Speaker 2 Well, he kind of anointed himself. He's like, I'm the face of the NBA.
And we're like, did you run that by anyone else? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because there's Anthony Edwards. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Devin Booker's a great young player.

Speaker 1 Luca,

Speaker 2 Jalen Brunson is a great young player.

Speaker 1 People have forgotten about Giannis. I haven't.
I know you haven't because you were heavily recruiting him.

Speaker 2 I was, and I know that

Speaker 2 I fucked up last time I was here saying he'll definitely come to the Knicks. And guess what?

Speaker 2 And I'm not done saying it could still.

Speaker 4 I blame yourself.

Speaker 2 No, I blame.

Speaker 4 Did you DM him?

Speaker 2 I DM'd his brother and I got left on red.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit. I got left on.

Speaker 2 He follows me. I thought it was safe.

Speaker 4 So you touched the NASAS?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I did their benefit a couple years ago. And dude, I killed.
I went up and

Speaker 2 I got applause break from Mayor Adams on an AIDS joke.

Speaker 1 I was like, I'm fucking locked in right now.

Speaker 2 I had this old Magic Johnson joke about like how,

Speaker 2 you know, my ex was like, you're not crying during this breakup, but you cried during the Magic Johnson documentary. And I was like, you think you're in the same inspiration category?

Speaker 1 Imagine you play the all-star game with HIV.

Speaker 2 You wouldn't fuck me when you had a headache. And I look into the crowd and Mayor Adams is like this.
And I'm like, man, I'm fucking crushing.

Speaker 2 And I see Giannis and his brother in the crowd going, I was like, oh, they're so innocent.

Speaker 2 And then his brother was like, hit me up if you're ever in Greece. And I was in Greece and I hit him up and he just left me on trash.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's tough. But that's also a great move by him to be like, because, you know, you always be like, oh, yeah, I'll see you next time.
You're like, hit me up if you're in Greece.

Speaker 1 No one ever actually follows through except you. I follow.

Speaker 2 I never do it, but I was like, I'm in Greece.

Speaker 1 And I think he's told me.

Speaker 2 And I kind of want to, I want to see Greece with the Ante Tena Coupos, you know?

Speaker 4 Yeah, the way they see it. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 But.

Speaker 2 No, I don't think I blew it. I think, you know, it's he was,

Speaker 2 he's loyal. I think it was a really dumb dumb decision to be loyal because Dame is getting older.
Doc is not the greatest coach in the world. And Brooke Lopez is getting older.

Speaker 2 Middleton's injury prone. I think.

Speaker 1 This might be the year Giannis complains.

Speaker 2 I'd be shocked.

Speaker 1 You wouldn't be shocked.

Speaker 5 No, I would be a little shocked.

Speaker 1 I don't know, though, but like you, what you just laid out, and like if it doesn't go well and they went, you know, all in on the Dame thing,

Speaker 1 this could be the year where he's like, what the fuck is going on here? He's been, there's something about the European players. They don't really, like, maybe it's cultural.

Speaker 1 They just don't like complain the same way that our guys have complained the last like five years that have kind of ruined the NBA in some ways. Luca.
He complained. Luca, yeah, Luca complained.

Speaker 1 But mostly to the next one. But Jokic is never.
Giannis is never.

Speaker 2 Isn't that interesting? Yeah. Giannis is, I think Jokic doesn't care enough.
He's like just like the great guy who's like, yeah, whatever.

Speaker 1 He's the best dude ever.

Speaker 4 He's like, I happened to be great at basketball. I have.

Speaker 2 Yeah, exactly. It's like a side hustle for his horse racing.
And then Giannis is so competitive that I think part of him is like, I don't want people to forget how great I am.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 This might be the redemption year because we kind of have forgotten. Like, if you ask people right now, top five, he sometimes gets left off because he's been injured.

Speaker 2 He can't be just because of what he does.

Speaker 2 Agreed.

Speaker 1 Totally agree. Like, he is top five.

Speaker 1 Because we haven't seen, you know, they got bounced against the heat in the first round. And then this year he was.

Speaker 2 That was brutal. But that's what I'm saying.
That's why Jimmy, you have to say in the playoffs is a superstar. Different guy.
Because what he did was insane.

Speaker 2 And it gives me no pleasure to give love to Miami fans.

Speaker 2 yeah did you did you take any joy watching team usa because you're rude against most of these guys no no no were you able to put all that aside it's amazing it's like i'm proud to be an american i mean it's an incredible thing to watch lebron with barack obama gray hairs throwing down crazy dunks kd hidden fat nut closing shots against serbia steph looking like a phenom like no it was a beautiful thing i i loved it and uh No, I took so much joy.

Speaker 1 It also was to me like the significance of just like, it felt like an era ending, you know, because those guys, Steph, LeBron, KD, if you had to bet, would you bet any of them to win another title?

Speaker 1 I probably wouldn't.

Speaker 2 No, right. So it's like kind of not in this current.
Right.

Speaker 1 It's kind of like the end of like this era of basketball for America where it's like they went out on top.

Speaker 2 It's the Avengers. Right.
It's literally Tony Stark dying.

Speaker 4 Oh, and spoiler. Never seen it.
Oh, fuck.

Speaker 1 Yeah. God damn it.
LaShawn McCoyle. Wait, Tony.

Speaker 4 I thought Tony Stark was the Green Goblin or whatever.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 But, you know,

Speaker 1 he is a green goblin.

Speaker 2 No, that's Willem Dafoe.

Speaker 1 Oh, who's

Speaker 2 who I heard has got a monster hog?

Speaker 1 Oh. Oh, really?

Speaker 2 Yeah, apparently his dick's so big Lars Von Shreer had to cut it out of a movie. Like, you have to get a penis double,

Speaker 2 which is amazing to me that that job exists. That there's a guy just like picking up a phone, like, is it too big or too little? It doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 I'm there.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you got to scout that out in the conditions. Put it on something tight.
Wait, what is Robert Downey Jr.? What character is he going to be? He's going to be Dr.

Speaker 2 Doom. Dr.
Doom, yeah.

Speaker 1 Are you a big Marvel guy?

Speaker 2 No, but I know that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we don't know anything. It pisses people off every time we talk about Marvel.

Speaker 4 I only saw Black Panther because I'm an ally, but I haven't seen Black Man.

Speaker 1 I didn't see Black Panther. Really? Yeah, not an ally.

Speaker 2 It's so funny they got all this credit for doing that in All Black Cats, but it's like, dude, you did it after Ant-Man. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you got Ant-Man first. You got Ant-Man

Speaker 1 before the black movie.

Speaker 2 We got to do Ant-Man first.

Speaker 4 Paul Rudd, superhero. Okay, I guess we've conquered all the hills.
Now we can do this one

Speaker 4 but yeah we don't know shit about about Marvel yeah I'm not a big Marvel guy but I know that sounds like you kind of are yeah look I mean that one was fun the Avengers one was fun yeah we wouldn't know we didn't see it yeah so yeah the Olympics were fun getting to root for those guys and LeBron he did have he's like embracing the gray hair I don't know if he's going to come back and dye the beard but it felt like he was intentionally

Speaker 4 showing I've got I've got gray facial hair it was real

Speaker 2 Yeah, it was like, it was like, holy shit, LeBron could, it'd be so funny if he just kept playing. If he just was on the next Olympic team and Tatum had to ride the bench again.
That would be funny.

Speaker 2 Just as an old, like he's got gray hair. He's fucking, you know, he's taking Cialis.

Speaker 4 But getting to like truly love LeBron James when he's playing is a foreign concept for me because like he's he's corny.

Speaker 4 He's he's funny when you watch him try to be like take himself super seriously sometimes, whether he's reading all these books that he never gets past like page two of or like catching him in a lie.

Speaker 4 Yeah, what is that?

Speaker 2 Always, what is the posing with the book?

Speaker 4 He read the biography of Malcolm X and then they asked him like what his favorite part was and then he like paused and he's like, you know, all of it. I just enjoyed all of it.
Yeah, Trump. Yeah.

Speaker 4 What's your favorite part of the Bible?

Speaker 1 All of the passing.

Speaker 1 I can't pick one.

Speaker 4 So it's funny because

Speaker 4 he wants to be everything to everyone. Yeah.
And the way he goes about that, it's an interesting insight into his mind. Beat KD.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Be the dude who's all of us, who's just writing back to angry people.

Speaker 1 Yeah, who's just mad online.

Speaker 1 He wins a game and then he's just calling out people's citizenship.

Speaker 1 I loved it.

Speaker 4 It's like 3 a.m. and he's trolling Serbia.
I love it. They just beat him.
I love that, too. We love KD now.

Speaker 4 But like getting to, getting to root for LeBron James, it woke something up in me where I was like, maybe I've been a closeted bronze sexual my entire life.

Speaker 4 And maybe now like I got to tell my dad or like I got to tell my mom and she's going to be disappointed in me. And it's like, what is what's this all about?

Speaker 4 Like what are these new feelings that I'm feeling inside? But he's great. He's like, he's fun to root for when he's your guy.

Speaker 2 Well, this is what we do. I think the most, I think real sports fans, you don't root for the guy who's like the number one, who's the anointed.
He's literally called King from when he was a rookie.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I felt this way with Kobe.
I didn't like Kobe until the end. I like Kobe.
It's like wrestling. They kind of reinvent themselves over time.

Speaker 2 And then you're kind of like, fuck, Kobe went heel for a minute. Then he was back.
It was kind of like, by the end, I loved Kobe. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But it takes a minute.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's very. When you're in the moment, you're just like, fuck this guy.
And then when he leaves, you're like, oh, it's weird now.

Speaker 2 All my friends were like, Kobe, Kobe's the man. So I was like, no, fuck that.
I'm a spree guy. I think T-Mac is cool.
I would like go for the other guys.

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 1 don't want to say what I think Kobe's

Speaker 1 he's very overrated

Speaker 1 because he's rated so high like he gets talked about like LeBron or Michael Jordan I don't think he's in that that's a fair take I mean he was for that it's tough it's by error really right I mean he was that era's greatest but he also like he wasn't the best player on the three-peat team no way I mean Shaq was an absolute monster but he but he went back to back yeah you know I mean he he was a.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm going to get shit for that.

Speaker 1 Again, it's not because he's not great. It's because he gets talked in a group that I just don't know.
There's like a hollowed group of players that are in that upper, upper, upper echelon.

Speaker 1 I think he's right behind it. Yeah.

Speaker 4 He's also become a mindset where like if somebody goes out there and like in high school, they win like 120 to 10, you're like, that's that mama mentality. Yeah.
Like Kobe.

Speaker 4 Or if somebody doesn't do some, if someone doesn't act like an asshole sometimes, you're like, Kobe would never do that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 There's also moments where I do, like, I wish Kobe would have been there

Speaker 1 at the game on

Speaker 2 and for the winners' game.

Speaker 1 He was a big ambassador for he would have, and he would have been like staring down the other team. Like, it would have been cool, those moments.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 But isn't it kind of annoying when the guys in the bench are trying to hog the, like, when they kept panning to Mellow? I'm like, Curry's the one hitting the shots. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Joe Curry. Although Mellow calling plays was sick.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it was fun.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, he did.

Speaker 4 I mean, Mellow was the best when he, he was at his best when he was on the Olympic.

Speaker 2 He was a sixth man. Yeah.
That's what's so funny about it. It's like, these dudes are coming off the bench.
He's phenomenal. I know.
Mellow is awesome. Olympic Mellow was the coolest Mello, I think.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he just got passed by KD.

Speaker 4 I like having Draymond there, too. Draymond should travel with the team.
Yeah. That was so petty.
He should be just so petty.

Speaker 1 And he won't let.

Speaker 2 And Gobert is like, dude, enough.

Speaker 5 You choked one.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I'm a joke.

Speaker 1 Like, everyone laughs at me. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Draymond just... still twisting that knife.

Speaker 2 Gobert, the hatred for Gobert really does remind me when like a hack comedian blows up too much. Yeah.
And he gets paid too much money and you're just like, fuck that guy.

Speaker 2 You didn't give a shit about him like before he got paid. He was like an afterthought.
But then he gets like really rich. You're like, this guy fucking blows.

Speaker 2 And then he's like, I just took the money. Yeah.
Like, you hate me for just taking the money, but we do.

Speaker 1 Do you think, do you think hack comedians like walk around knowing that everyone hates them?

Speaker 2 Some of them and some of them just

Speaker 2 drink their own Kool-Aid. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They're like,

Speaker 2 why would I get all this if I wasn't the greatest? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because that would be like pretty brutal imposter syndrome to walk around being like, everyone else in comedy hates me, but I'm selling out arenas.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, there's worse lives.

Speaker 9 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 You're selling out arenas. You're probably having a good life.
Yeah, true.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you can delude yourself in anything.

Speaker 2 I don't think Rudy Gobert should be unhappy.

Speaker 1 No. No.
Although deep down, like somewhere, he's probably like, man, I wish anyone respected me. I wish I was.

Speaker 2 It sucks when all the bigs are shitting on you.

Speaker 2 Like, you know, Shaq and all these guys are like, this guy sucks, you know, and it's like, and you're kind of like, Shaq, you should be a little unbiased.

Speaker 2 This is, you know, but then it's kind of funny that he's not. Draymond's hatred of him, it does stem from jealousy.
That's the thing. It's like, because he's got four DPOYs.

Speaker 1 I know. That's the problem.
It's like you have that success. That's why you should just never have too much success because then everyone's going to shit on you.

Speaker 1 Like, if he just had two defensive player of the years, because then he wins one, and then they go to the playoffs. It's like, this is your defensive player of the year.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like, he should just give one back. He should say, I don't want it this year.

Speaker 1 You know what? If he takes himself out of of it, that's actually the smart thing. That's what I would do if I were him.

Speaker 4 He plays really well against shitty players, shitty offenses. And so he likes to pads his stats a little bit.

Speaker 4 Then sometimes in the playoffs, you see him get exposed and he gets cooked by good players. So just, yeah, just let some shitty players get some more points against you this year.

Speaker 4 Take yourself out of the running that way.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's smart.

Speaker 2 And also, yeah,

Speaker 2 I'm sure the French thing for some reason isn't helping. There's a lot of problems.

Speaker 1 Oh, the French thing is always, we're always going to hate French people.

Speaker 4 And we will blame him for COVID, too.

Speaker 1 That's

Speaker 1 true.

Speaker 4 But just kind of like wrong place, wrong time.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but he mocked it.

Speaker 4 He came back and he like touched every microphone. And then they're like, yeah, it turns out he did have COVID.
And now we have to cancel all of basketball.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm now thinking about it. Wemby's going to be a great test.
He's like, they're like, how much do we hate French people?

Speaker 2 Nah, he's already with a love.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I'm saying. Like,

Speaker 1 he's going to supersede that.

Speaker 4 The fact that he cried, too, when they lost.

Speaker 1 I love that. I love that.

Speaker 2 He could be the best ever.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, it's an insane problem. Cooper Flag.
Cooper Flag. Cooper Flag's next up.

Speaker 4 The main event.

Speaker 4 I'm excited about that. I've already set my tanking watch on that.
I want Cooper Flag in D.C. that that would be cool.

Speaker 2 That'd be cool. Man, you guys are making weird moves.
The Valentunis one?

Speaker 4 I like what we're doing, though, because we at least have a plan now.

Speaker 4 For years,

Speaker 4 the plan is basically tank and try to just turn everything over. But for years, it was like, you know, finish 10th in the East.
And then maybe one year we'll get in as an eighth seed.

Speaker 4 Then we'll get hooked.

Speaker 4 But post-John Wall, there hasn't been a lot of

Speaker 4 actionable plan going on in D.C. But we got the guy from Oklahoma City running the front office.
He at least knows what he's doing.

Speaker 4 Then we got Kuzma and Jordan Poole, which I think are great players to have if you're trying to lose. You know, like give the keys to a franchise to Jordan Poole.

Speaker 4 Let him go out there and do his thing. And naturally, you will lose a shitload of games.
He'll get his points. He'll go like 10 for 40 shooting.
But at least there's a plan now.

Speaker 4 That's all I can ask for.

Speaker 2 That's fair. Yeah.
I was hammered at a game once and I was just yelling at John Wall and I was just like, man, you fucking, you got fat. You let yourself go.

Speaker 1 And he and he turned and looked at me and i was like oh jesus christ and then years later he writes this book about depression i'm like oh i hate myself oh he turned it on you i gotta dial it back man

Speaker 1 you were just being a good fan though i was trying to be a good because you you but i do notice them now when the people are going a little too hard i'm like i'm getting i can tell i'm getting older because i'm like that was kind of yeah take it down a notch yeah if you become the take it down a notch guy you're getting older i mean i've done it like at restaurants where i'm like can you turn down the music a little

Speaker 1 fuck yeah but i actually can't hear.

Speaker 2 When every pill you take is a downer. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You're like, whatever makes it tomorrow.

Speaker 1 Let's fucking wrap it up.

Speaker 4 That kid getting in LeBron's face after they won the gold. Do you see that? He needs to take it down a notch.
Yeah. What did he do? Well, he just went.

Speaker 4 He went up to LeBron on the streets of Paris and wanted a picture, and LeBron was like, not now, kid, and pushed him out of the way. Wow.

Speaker 1 And then he started dancing.

Speaker 4 And then he started dancing. So people that hate LeBron James will be like, look what a disgusting human being LeBron James is.
Michael Jordan would never treat a child like that.

Speaker 4 Michael Jordan was kind to every kid that he ever met in his entire life.

Speaker 1 I've found some like really good hater LeBron accounts that I follow just so I can get my hate up.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm not a fan. I've never been a guy.
Look, he's a. I love that he's on Team USA and I root from there, but I'm not a LeBron guy.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, it's basically, it's probably the most like cut and dry, either you're a bronze or you're not. Like, there aren't people who are like, some people are both.

Speaker 1 I'm still waiting for year 21. He's on the like,

Speaker 4 he's coming all stripes. It's like your college years.
They need to, yeah,

Speaker 4 I'm experimenting with LeBron right now.

Speaker 1 You went abroad.

Speaker 4 I was taught growing up, naturally, you're supposed to love the Washington Wizards. A man loves the Washington Wizards.

Speaker 4 And I've thought that I've loved the Washington Wizards, but now I tried LeBron and I think I like LeBron.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you went pretty fun. You went abroad for a couple weeks and then you came back and you're like, I kind of like that.

Speaker 4 Add another stripe to the flag for us bronze sexuals.

Speaker 4 Representation matters.

Speaker 2 It's just, I hate the Lakers, too. That's another part of the problem.

Speaker 2 It's just an unlikable franchise. And I've always felt that way.
I mean, look, it was in looking looking back, they're great for the sport, obviously. Kobe, Shaq, those years were awesome.

Speaker 1 But like, have you had any like self-reflection where you're like, the Lakers are the Yankees? Of course. Okay.

Speaker 1 I was going to say, because like, that's the two franchises that do the, oh, he'll be a Laker soon. Oh, he'll be a Yankee someday.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's the two like shining examples of it where they, and they're usually right. Where they're like, oh, yeah, a free agent will come here.
Yeah. No problem.

Speaker 2 Now, the Yankees, it is complicated for me because I grew up because my grandfather was a Yankees fan. So I grew up just watching like Bernie Williams and Paul O'Neal on his lap, you know? Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then you get older and everyone's like, these are the fuck. And you're like, it's too late.
Yeah. I'm a fan.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know? Yeah.

Speaker 2 And the Yankees history is awesome. Yeah, it is.

Speaker 1 Especially all the World Series they won before they let black players play.

Speaker 2 It's a lot of them. Yeah.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of them.

Speaker 1 They're really good now, though.

Speaker 2 I was watching a Babe Ruth documentary and it was literally just old white men who were just like, it was like one sentence about how he walked out on his wife and adopted kid.

Speaker 2 And it was like, he walked out on this family.

Speaker 1 Babe Ruth was one of the kindest people I've ever been around.

Speaker 2 You know, he was, he was a gentleman. I'm like, can you just say he walked?

Speaker 1 That was one sentence. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Every other sentence was like, what he did for those cancer-stricken children was the Lord's work.

Speaker 1 Have you seen the theory that Babe Ruth could possibly be Dominican? I love that one. He looks a little bit tiny.
Yeah, right. And it's just like,

Speaker 1 this would throw like all the old sports writers into a tizzy being like, yeah, he was Dominican.

Speaker 2 It's so, the sports writers is such a weird, because I watched the Pete Rose doc too, and it is weird. Like, clearly, Pete Rose is not a good human.

Speaker 2 Like, if you want to keep him out of the Hall of Fame, if you want to keep him out of the Hall of Fame, do it for the statutory rape, not the gambling.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's such a weird line to draw in the sand. Like, you got Ty Cobb in, who's pushing pregnant women downstairs.

Speaker 1 Although Ty Cobb had a little bit of a, like, when, who was it? Oh, it was when they brought all the Negro League

Speaker 1 records into the MLB, and there was a lot of, like, Ty Cobb discourse.

Speaker 1 And I had no idea, but, like, Ty Cobb essentially got completely slandered by this one writer who wrote a biography about him that just made up shit like everything you did beat his wife he yeah but like there's a like the beating like a handicapped person and like him being like a crazy racist like none of that was true which is nuts wait did he did he like babe ruth i don't know that'll tell us if he was dominican or not but it was it was eye-opening to be like wait How did this happen that like one person wrote a book about Ty Cobb and then we just were told Ty Cobb was one of the worst humans ever.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And a lot of it was just made up.

Speaker 1 I'm not saying he's a good, I'm not, I'm not, you know, vouching for Ty Cobb, but it was crazy to read about it and be like, wait, this guy just made up a lot of that stuff.

Speaker 2 That's what you could do as a writer in the old days.

Speaker 1 Right, he had a vendetta.

Speaker 2 I'll destroy you in my column. Yeah.
That was the power. I mean, there's, there's a story about Joe DiMaggio like leaving a hotel room after he just banged someone.

Speaker 2 And he sees, I think it was Walter Winshall on the street. And he just looked at him like, fuck, this guy's going to write a piece on me.

Speaker 2 I'm going to get trash or like poon hunting on the road and he just looked at him he goes win today and I won't write about this and they won

Speaker 1 he played the best game

Speaker 1 having your biggest hater become your biographer is an all-time bad move bad move I don't want that yeah but credit to that guy for at least like having a vendetta and like I'm gonna I'm gonna ruin I'm gonna ruin this guy for the rest of eternity yeah if you if you pulled a hundred like sports fans like Ty Cobb bad guys like yeah the worst really yeah I bet he wasn't a good guy no that's what I'm saying I'm not vouching for him, but I just, it was crazy to read it and be like, wait, this guy made up a lot of these stories that we walk around being like, you know, Ty Cobb would go spikes up on everyone.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Is that not true?

Speaker 9 I think a lot of it is made up.

Speaker 2 I don't know. I feel like most good players would try to like spike the second baseman back then.
Yeah, you feel like it wasn't just him. Yeah.

Speaker 4 And there was also that story. You know, the Mickey Mantle story about when he got head underneath the Wrightfield bleachers.
Is that true? Yeah, he wrote like a thank you note or something.

Speaker 4 What was the exact story about

Speaker 4 it?

Speaker 1 Look that up because...

Speaker 2 I thought that was Daryl Strawberry for some reason.

Speaker 4 Because back in the day, like sports writers, we were told growing up that like baseball is the most poetic sport. They wrote about it in the most like flowery terms ever.

Speaker 4 Like a day at the ballpark is nothing like anything else you'll ever experience. They wrote about all the baseball players like they were gentlemen.

Speaker 4 No, Mickey Mantle was getting his dick sucked underneath the right field bleachers in Yankee Stadium during a game.

Speaker 1 So the Yankees hit up Mickey Mantle and were like, the 50th anniversary is coming up. Can you please write something about being a Yankee?

Speaker 1 And the prompt was, I consider the following my outstanding experience at Yankee Stadium. And he wrote, I got a blowjob under the right field bleachers by the Yankee bullpen.

Speaker 1 And then this event occurred on or about. He got sucked off by all the middle.

Speaker 1 He said it was about the third inning, third or fourth inning. I had a pulled groin and couldn't

Speaker 1 focus at the time. She was a very nice girl and asked me what to do with the come after I came in her mouth.
I said, Don't ask me. I'm no cocksucker.
McMantle. Y'all American.
Poetic. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Is that true?

Speaker 1 That's got to be a real letter, right? I think it's sold in auction. Pretty crash for a

Speaker 1 don't ask me. I'm not a cocksucker.
What is he? Like a Tulsa, Oklahoma boy? Yeah.

Speaker 1 What a line. Yeah.
Oh, man.

Speaker 1 And it's doing it. There's a star next to, he signed it, Mickey Mantle star.
And then underneath the star, he starred and said the All-American Boy.

Speaker 1 I love that. I had a sense of humor.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 So are they back? Are the Yankees fully back?

Speaker 2 I don't know, man. It's hard to tell.
That trade was pretty big,

Speaker 2 you know, but

Speaker 2 I don't know, man.

Speaker 2 Pitching is everything in the playoffs. So we'll see.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It feels like the Yankees just do the same thing every year. Yeah.

Speaker 1 A million home runs and they get to the playoffs like shit.

Speaker 2 Those are never the teams that win at all, except maybe the Astros have a lot of power. But they have pitching, too.
Yeah, and they do the little things, too. Yeah, we'll see.

Speaker 1 It's like cheating. Yeah, cheating is big.

Speaker 4 Baseball is such a weird sport where you can be by far the best team. And then in the playoffs, it's just about who's hot at that team.

Speaker 1 But hockey is the same way.

Speaker 2 Yeah, hockey, If you're a big hockey guy,

Speaker 4 you get a hockey goalie standing on his head, then any team can win. But yeah, baseball playoffs, it's like pitching.

Speaker 4 And then if you get like two guys that just catch fired out of nowhere, then it's like we saw the Diamondbacks in the World Series last year. Yeah.
Crazy shit happens.

Speaker 4 But it is fun to see like Yankees do the same thing, get to the playoffs. Same thing happens.
Aaron Boone, okay, come back next year. Yeah.
You know?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I wonder how long they're going to let him hold the reins.

Speaker 1 He's got blackmail.

Speaker 1 Him and Cashman have to to have blackmail. I feel like I've been hearing about them getting fired every year for the last five years.

Speaker 2 You just don't want to waste Aaron Judge's prime because this is fucking insane what he's doing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and he's just a beast. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, Sam, this has been awesome.
I got a robot question. Last question.
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Speaker 1 We were talking about it earlier, but for people who don't know, one of my favorite things that Sam does is he goes on like local early morning talk shows news shows and just bombs on purpose yeah so are we worried that it's getting too big that it's going to be like you can't do this anymore yeah for sure i mean you said it you know back there you're like you might have to go international i've tried it's not a big thing internationally i'm i'm trying i'm doing baltimore tv this week so i hope i hope i can fingers crossed yeah it's tough though you got to have the the getaway car waiting for you got to have the car outside like i would say it's like a bank robbery So, so, when did it start?

Speaker 2 Uh, Pittsburgh is where it started because I was like in a bad mood. When you're a young comic, you're required to do morning TV.
It's in the contract, they don't give you a door deal.

Speaker 2 So, you're like, this is just for the club that they're making me do it. I don't see another cent from this.
So, you, after you do it for like a decade, you start to get a little bitter.

Speaker 2 And I was kind of like, you know what? Fuck this. So, in the middle of it, I just kind of snap.
They never do research. It's always like the corniest shit.

Speaker 2 No one who's watching this is going to come to my show. Right.
It's like, you know, people who are like, you know, soccer moms or something who just will not find me funny.

Speaker 2 So it's like, the only way this is selling tickets is if I just burn a hole. So I think the question she asked was,

Speaker 2 So when did you first catch the funny bug? Have you always been funny? And I was like, no, but when I was young, I was molested by my uncle and he was funny.

Speaker 2 So I kind of caught the powers like in Spider-Man. And she just kind of paused and was like, okay, I don't know what to do with that.

Speaker 1 And I left.

Speaker 2 And I remember asking them for the tape, the producer. And she just just looked at me and she goes, get out.

Speaker 1 Now you've been doing it. Like, I see the clips.
They're so fucking funny.

Speaker 2 Well, I realized, like, people started sharing that to the point that I was like, I guess I should do that. I guess I should start doing morning TV.

Speaker 2 And then it just got bad every time to the point that I was like, I guess I'll just keep doing this.

Speaker 4 Is there an art to bombing?

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's fun. It's, you know, I mean, look, there's no really killing on those shows either.
There's no change, right? So it's just like, I'm kind of, I'm playing for whoever's watching.

Speaker 2 I'm not playing for who's in the room, but

Speaker 2 they they don't want, I've noticed though, they don't want you to come off as like they're the guy there. They don't, the guys are the more insecure ones.

Speaker 2 The women are usually really cool, but the guys are kind of like, no, I'm the big, I'm the big shot around here. I'm the funny one.

Speaker 2 And you see them try to be funny, you're like, you ain't the funny one. I'll tell you that.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So I remember going on there and just rattling them and saying shit they can't say.

Speaker 2 So I'm like, you know, if I'm making like a pedo joke on like, you know, some NBC affiliate in Philadelphia, the guy's like, what the fuck is happening?

Speaker 1 Like, I can't do that.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 it just started taking off. I don't know.

Speaker 2 It's weird.

Speaker 1 It's the perfect bit, too, because

Speaker 1 those people, those broadcasters, are trained to smile through everything. Exactly.
And like they have to be cheery and they have to be bubbly.

Speaker 1 And then you just drop, like, yeah, I was raped by my uncle. And they just have to be like, oh.
There were people who thought that was true.

Speaker 2 Someone like messaged me, like, hell yeah, speaking truth to power, taking your pain and making it funny. I'm like, no, that's not true.

Speaker 1 I was just trying to ruin you. Did you miss the Spider-Man part of it?

Speaker 2 People thought it was real.

Speaker 5 Yeah. And then,

Speaker 2 yeah, it's just funny that they have to be so scripted. Like anything that's off script on those shows is like, they're like, what do I do? Right.

Speaker 1 Used to this. They panic.

Speaker 2 So it's just funny to watch it go off the rails.

Speaker 1 That's so good.

Speaker 2 I have a publicist who's like losing sleep over these because I can't book them. I can't cold email them.
So she gets the hate.

Speaker 4 She get, they'll be like, why'd you do this? Yeah. Why'd you send this guy here? But the funny thing is they don't remember.

Speaker 2 She's like, now you're ruining it for my clients who like take it seriously, who want to go on.

Speaker 2 She'll email them a month later and they'll be like, we had some guy come on a month ago and pretend that Columbus, Ohio has a human trafficking crisis and he wouldn't let it go.

Speaker 2 And she's like, that's disgusting. Someone would and they just let her know.

Speaker 1 Other clients, no one remembers.

Speaker 2 So, you know, it ends up working out. But she's,

Speaker 2 yeah, she just messaged me. She's like, I've up my Xanax.
What are you going to do?

Speaker 2 People get mad. I did one in Buffalo from the Delta Lounge.
I put like duct tape over Gary Viter, who tours with me's mouth, and I pretended he's my Gimp sex slave.

Speaker 2 I just kept saying, like, he's not my GIMP sex slave. And the guy in Buffalo was like, all right, well, that's the segment for today.
Like, he just abruptly cut it off.

Speaker 2 And then Rachel Feinstein, who's like one of my best friends, was in Buffalo. And he's like, Do you know Sam Morrow? She's like, Oh, he's like my best friend.
He's like, I hate that guy.

Speaker 2 He brought a GIMP sex slave on the segment.

Speaker 2 And I was like, Oh, yeah, you can't tell these people that we're friends.

Speaker 1 They all hate me.

Speaker 4 Clearly, he said he wasn't his Gimp slave.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I explained that.

Speaker 1 You weren't listening.

Speaker 2 But yeah, so then we do

Speaker 2 that. And then

Speaker 1 uh

Speaker 2 it it's like the thing i look forward to most my comic friends like star versus always like what are you doing waking up at 7 a.m after a gig and i'm like i've learned to love it i yeah it's it's like a challenge yeah i i love it it goes south a lot it will it will sometimes just not work at all but when it for the times it does work it's it's it's worth burning a hole in the room yeah definitely are you gonna do that in in uh the netherlands i wonder if i can get on stuff international is tougher i tried to do it in because look, when they roll with me, sometimes it's great too.

Speaker 2 You know, if they just play, there was a woman for Texas who just, she got it and she played along. And it was funny her like straight manning me to everything I said.

Speaker 2 But then we tried in Australia and they didn't really,

Speaker 2 they were too big of fans of it that it didn't work. Like they were like cheering me on for every golf thing.
They're like, well, it's not funny when you guys are like doing, you know. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 But yeah, they're not as scripted as American TV. That's all the comments are like, oh, what is this that you guys do in America? I was like, oh, I didn't know this wasn't wasn't a thing.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's so good.

Speaker 2 In the UK or whatever. But yeah, Australia is more just like all the news.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You know,

Speaker 1 oh, so. No, go ahead.
Oh, no.

Speaker 2 I mean, you go on, like, I would go on like MSNBC and stuff, and it would be like guys who are, you know, big, and they don't want you to, like, I'd go on like Ari Melbourne, and he would just like, like, he would like set me up for a joke and then just like watch it bomb and just like stare at me and be like, so why is that funny?

Speaker 2 I'd be like, well, apparently it's not. I don't, I don't think it's, I guess it wasn't.
I don't know. And he'd just be like, huh.

Speaker 2 It's like they don't want, it's it's weird like they want you on and then they kind of like try to psychoanalyze

Speaker 2 they don't know how to deal with jokes because he it's live so I think you know then I just like went into Epstein jokes and he was like all right let's go to break you know but yeah because if you're hosting a morning show or if you're hosting a TV show your job is usually not to be an audience exactly so then all of a sudden he's supposed to just like laugh and be a normal human being I would hope so yeah I guess he isn't yeah it's just not programmed for that yeah yeah yeah well Sam thank you so much yeah everyone go see where i we're gonna probably air this in the next week and a half okay so where are you going after baltimore well yeah i got uh i'm in new brunswick new jersey working on new jokes of the stress factory then i got uh ontario uh casino and then uh and then i'm off to europe all over europe so paris amsterdam london belfast dublin Copenhagen.

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 1 We gotta see you on international TV.

Speaker 2 I don't know if you guys have good listenership in Oslo, but I'm we do. We do.
My fucking numbers there stink. Oslo, come on.

Speaker 1 Oslo, let's go.

Speaker 2 And then, yeah, and I got the new special, You've Changed on Amazon Prime. It's one of my favorite ones I've done, so I hope you guys like it.

Speaker 1 It's perfect because all of our fans do have Amazon Prime because we got to watch football. Fuck you, dude.
Yeah. So it's a perfect marriage there.
All right. Thanks so much, Sam.
Appreciate it.

Speaker 2 Thank you guys.

Speaker 1 Give it up for Chicago.

Speaker 13 Sebastian Meniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep

Speaker 1 coming.

Speaker 13 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers.

Speaker 2 Terms apply.

Speaker 1 Okay, Firefest of the Week time, Hank. Breaking news.
Oh, breaking news.

Speaker 1 Breaking news.

Speaker 1 What do we got?

Speaker 4 We have a trade, an interdivisional, inter-podcast trade.

Speaker 1 There's been a trade.

Speaker 4 A rare in-division trade. Washington.
Matthew Judon to the Bears.

Speaker 4 Washington is sending former first-round pick Jahan Dotson and a fifth-round pick to the Eagles in exchange for a 2025 third-round pick and two seventh-round picks per sources. Ooh.

Speaker 1 Fleeced. What do we think, Max?

Speaker 4 Fleeced. Fleeced.

Speaker 9 Agreed.

Speaker 9 What round did you draft him in?

Speaker 4 We drafted in the first round. Oh.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 9 And what did you get back?

Speaker 4 Not a lot last year.

Speaker 4 What did you get back? He had a bad season last year. Apparently he hasn't looked good in training camp.

Speaker 1 Who's his quarterback?

Speaker 4 We got Martavis Bryant,

Speaker 4 Sam Howell.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 4 We got Martavis Bryant now.

Speaker 9 I'm excited. Wait.
Yeah. Martavius Bryant hasn't played in the league in like 10 years.

Speaker 4 Yeah, do you remember when he did that somersault catch? I have a question, though, PFT.

Speaker 1 Wouldn't you want your rookie quarterback to have more weapons?

Speaker 4 We got plenty of weapons. Okay.

Speaker 1 Martin Bryan. I was just saying.
Did you Martavius said Martavius Bryant? That would be the only part that would make me nervous.

Speaker 1 Martavius taking away wide receiver from the rest of the rest. I like Jahan Dotson, a Penn State fan.

Speaker 9 He was a beast at Penn State. Good wide receiver three.
Give up a third, get back a fifth.

Speaker 1 He needed a wide receiver three, too. Big time.

Speaker 4 Yeah. So wide receiver three for a third-round pick, that sounds like a good deal to me.

Speaker 1 Well, he was your, what wide receiver was he for you?

Speaker 4 But we can't, well, he was fighting for the second spot. No, he was not guaranteed that second spot.
It was like a competition. He was, I think, losing that competition.

Speaker 1 To who?

Speaker 4 Let's see. Martavius Bryant.
Martavis Bryant, possibly.

Speaker 5 No, it's actually a former Eagle,

Speaker 4 Zacchaeus.

Speaker 9 So we got rid of him. Yeah.

Speaker 4 And he was our fourth last year. Yeah.
And now we got him, and he's thriving in our system. Yep.

Speaker 1 Pleased. Fleeced.
Fleece. Fleece.

Speaker 4 Somebody got fleeced. Yep.

Speaker 1 Someone got fleeced. We'll find out.

Speaker 4 We're not going to find out until the end of the season who got fleeced. But I can tell that this was a, between this and the

Speaker 4 Cooper to Jean trade, like we're...

Speaker 9 Someone's going to get fleeced.

Speaker 4 We're fleecing the Eagles big time. You're a bunch of bald Eagles over there.
Got fleeced so hard.

Speaker 1 That's good. Thank you.
It smells so bad in here.

Speaker 1 Hank, you're fired fast.

Speaker 1 Hmm.

Speaker 1 I haven't thought about that.

Speaker 1 No, I mean, I have a few.

Speaker 1 It's been remedied, so I don't know that it really counts. It was over the weekend.

Speaker 1 Also, I've been just sleeping in like a hard shell taco this week. It's been fun, but it's camp.
Like, you can't really complain about camp. That's just kind of what you get.
A hard shell of taco.

Speaker 1 I mean, my bed is literally like concave. No, his bed is broken.

Speaker 9 His bed is broken.

Speaker 1 The first day. There was other beds in our bunk.
That's true. You could have just slept on a different bed.

Speaker 9 Or you could have swapped the beds. But the first day, Egg comes up to me and he's like, is your bed like inverted like this?

Speaker 9 And I went and I looked at it and it literally looked like the trampoline yesterday. Like the middle of it was just sinking to the floor.

Speaker 1 You sleeping in a taco. Yeah, I think there were

Speaker 4 like three other mattresses that weren't being used.

Speaker 9 I don't think it was the mattress. I think it was the frame.

Speaker 1 It was the frame. Yeah.
You've had trouble. It was ultimately like, I'll fix it tomorrow.
And then by the time it's bedtime, I was like, okay, I'll just sleep on it. So it's really my own fault.

Speaker 4 Didn't you sleep on a bed that had fucked up slats for like nine months?

Speaker 1 Yeah, for like three months. I actually found that picture the other day.
It wasn't even the slats. It was the construction of the bed.
That's neither here nor there. Who made the bed? Me.

Speaker 1 I was basically sleeping like in like downwards. Like I was doing like

Speaker 1 decline sleeping with blood just rushing to my head every night.

Speaker 1 I also

Speaker 1 had an issue with my stove over the weekend that it like It wasn't working. It had an error message.

Speaker 1 You know, it gave me the number to call so I called and they told me I had to mess with my you know circuit circuit breaker board and my circuit breaker board wasn't labeled, so the lady was just having me turn things on, turn things off.

Speaker 1 I finally fixed the stove, accidentally killed all the power in my bedroom hallway, and like the AC, so I didn't have, and then no one was working in my building until Monday, so I had to sleep in my living room on the couch with a fan, like at my face for two nights.

Speaker 12 Jesus Hank.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 yeah, we fixed it. So you just haven't been, you've been sleeping either in like a high-income room with a fan or in a taco.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I'm excited to get back tonight and sleep normally for a while.

Speaker 1 Get that AC bus. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
All right, PFT.

Speaker 4 My fire fast of the week is, I mean, it's been a fun week. I don't have a lot to complain about because going to summer camp is, it's fun.

Speaker 4 And getting to hang out with boys and basically just play sports all day, competitive games all day, has been a great time.

Speaker 4 The first night we got here, we got in a little bit late, and it was myself, it was actually all of PMT, and then the busting guys came in with us. So we get to our bunks, we set up.

Speaker 4 I believe, Hank, were you passing out mouth tape or was Big Cat passing out mouth taptape? Not me.

Speaker 1 Will Compton. Will Compton.
I was too. I saw a mouth tape.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so everybody, I did not use mouth tape. I'm afraid, like, I'm asleep.
I sneeze. I don't know what that's going to be like.
I don't want to tape my mouth before I go to sleep.

Speaker 4 But everybody had it. We're going to bed.

Speaker 4 And we're all sending pictures in the group chat to each other of us with mouth tape on. Fast forward a couple days, we're watching hard knocks.
And there was one TV that was set up.

Speaker 4 We're seated in this very, very dark room.

Speaker 4 All the lights were out, just the TV was on, and it was a lot of people from Barstool and a lot of people that are counselors here at the camp that were watching hard knocks with us.

Speaker 4 And during that hard knocks, I was posting a picture that I just taken of the TV with Caleb Williams on it with us interviewing Caleb to promote the show, being like, tomorrow's part of my take.

Speaker 4 And I'm taking out my phone. I'm going through my photos to select those pictures.
And there are some other photos photos that are in my phone that are saved right next to it.

Speaker 4 The guy, one of the counselors, looks over my shoulder at my phone as I'm selecting the pictures of Caleb from Hard Knocks, and he's staring at my phone, and then he's looking at me.

Speaker 4 I'm like, oh shit, he saw something else.

Speaker 4 So when we're passing it, when we're sending all these pictures from the mouth tape incident, on Tuesday, Monday night to each other, I respond to the group chat with a picture of my balls.

Speaker 4 and I said naked balls. Naked balls and I said, oh shit guys, I think I just got bit by a bug.

Speaker 4 Classic bit with the boys, but the counselor that was sitting next to me just saw like three pictures.

Speaker 1 Of your balls.

Speaker 4 I had to get the lighting right. He saw three pictures of my balls on my phone and he just thinks that I've got nudes for days saved on my phone.

Speaker 1 Of your balls. Of my balls.
Never looked at another man's balls. And

Speaker 4 he gave me quite a look. It was partially confused.

Speaker 1 I've been like, hey, I was just sending my balls to the boys.

Speaker 4 He didn't touch my leg or anything afterwards, but I don't know. I don't know.
But it was a little bit embarrassing for me. So I guess that's the worst thing that happened to me this week.

Speaker 4 That's not that bad.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's not that bad.

Speaker 4 Some guy just thinks that I have a lot of pictures of my balls on my phone.

Speaker 1 Yeah, which he doesn't realize you sent it to your boys.

Speaker 4 It was to send to other men. So it was very funny.
It's not like I'm gay or anything.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was a very funny picture. Okay, I'm going to seed my Firefest because I've had a great time this week.
I've had nothing bad happen.

Speaker 1 Knock on Wood. We were on hard knocks.
We've been at summer camp. Can't complain.
Living the dream. Got a blessed life.
I'll see my fire fest to my good friend Max.

Speaker 1 Max, have you do you have a fire fest this week?

Speaker 9 Yeah, I got a little bit of like a cough from

Speaker 9 the camp, I think. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What about when you were competing in any of the events? Did you take anything too seriously and then have your team win? So you were the guy who shoved the ref in a win.

Speaker 9 No, I actually, yeah.

Speaker 1 What happened?

Speaker 9 Big Cat was saying it all week that we like, don't get, think about it. Like, if you get too competitive, you're going to regret it.
You're going to regret it.

Speaker 9 I had the most instant regret I think I've ever had in my time here at Barstool.

Speaker 1 There's a there's a line. Yeah, there's a line when we do these events or

Speaker 1 these activities where I get competitive. Everyone should be competitive.
But if you take it too far, you then come across as the guy who's just being a hardo.

Speaker 9 I smashed that line. Like, absolutely smashed it.
And it was one of those things where I smashed it so hard, and then I took like 30 seconds, and it was like, holy shit, what did I just do?

Speaker 1 So explain it to the people. Okay, this is what happened.

Speaker 9 It was the final event. It was

Speaker 9 the championship of the week. Yep.
Some may say.

Speaker 9 There was some tactics to get it to get in my head. There were some tactics to get in the referee's head.

Speaker 9 I think the person who was doing those tactics did a good job of getting in both parties' heads.

Speaker 1 He's referring to me in this situation. I somehow got into both of their heads with one sentence.
Yep. Yep.

Speaker 8 It's very true.

Speaker 9 I thought the referee was

Speaker 9 taking the words from Big Cat

Speaker 9 and purposely trying to

Speaker 9 screw me over.

Speaker 9 And I

Speaker 1 think the worst part was the throw. Max took an egg and basically recreated the Billy football whiffle ball throw.
And then shoved Rico back. When he just spiked the ball, the shoves.

Speaker 7 Spiked the ball into the ground.

Speaker 4 Max, what were you so upset about?

Speaker 1 He thought he got a bad. So what happened was the

Speaker 1 best. Rico had to throw eggs to Max.
And as the event was about to start, I said to Rico, because I was on the other team, I said, Rico, remember all the things we talked about this morning.

Speaker 1 And then I was basically the uncle from The Godfather 2 showing up to the courtroom, just being like, hey, I'm here.

Speaker 1 And Max was like, well, Rico, don't you take your integrity as a ref very seriously? And I just yelled, he takes his career even more serious. And then it was just on.

Speaker 1 The two of them were locked in mental warfare that I had started. And Max pushed Rico, yelled at him, threw an egg at him.
The egg. And they ended up winning.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 So Max, basically, it boils down to the fact that Rico was throwing eggs too high into the air.

Speaker 1 Play the clip. And so they're falling.
So then you shove them. Sound of the the clip, of the end of the clip, of Max.
Oh, don't take off the headphones, Max.

Speaker 1 Max was putting his

Speaker 1 fingers in his ears like a toddler at dinner last night when we kept on playing the clip. Look at him right now.
He looks like a fire truck's coming.

Speaker 1 Max, you're good. Stay focused.

Speaker 1 I'll just kick it back.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's fucking horseshit and you know it. You're running out of left.
You didn't do that shit at all.

Speaker 1 He got so Italian. That's horseshit and you know.
Horseshit and you know it.

Speaker 1 That was horseshit. No,

Speaker 1 I'm sorry.

Speaker 9 I think I've apologized to Rico like 60 times in the past day. And to his credit, he didn't care at all.

Speaker 1 Of course he didn't.

Speaker 9 He was like, dude, I didn't mean to throw him that far. I was like, dude, I'm apologizing.
Like, I overreacted so much. He was like, I didn't mean to throw him that far.
Like, I'm just tired.

Speaker 9 And I'm like,

Speaker 9 me and Rico are good.

Speaker 4 Rico is like Game Respect Game. I know where you're coming from.
I would have done the same thing.

Speaker 9 Yeah, so I think that was something that I... regret very deeply.
I've been super anxious about it the past.

Speaker 1 You're fine, Max.

Speaker 9 24 hours, and it's just.

Speaker 9 I'm going to have to just.

Speaker 1 If anyone should apologize, it should be me for getting getting in both your heads with one simple sentence. No, I'm not going to apologize, but if anyone should, it would be me.
But you're

Speaker 9 that was your, I said that, that was your Magna Carta.

Speaker 6 Yeah, just like me and Rico, like the two people.

Speaker 1 Wait, what?

Speaker 4 That was his what? Magna Carta.

Speaker 1 He ran the Magnum Opus.

Speaker 4 Magna.

Speaker 1 No, I essentially was. I was the Joker just walking by and

Speaker 1 Magna Carta, holy grail. I was throwing a lit match right in between the two of them, and they both just were on fire yelling at each other.

Speaker 5 Well, he didn't yell, to his credit.

Speaker 1 He just threw eggs crazy. Yeah.
The eggs were thrown high into the air.

Speaker 9 It's not, it wasn't. But when you have to explain to people

Speaker 4 why you got mad.

Speaker 1 I know that.

Speaker 4 You're mad because Rico threw bad eggs.

Speaker 4 I know.

Speaker 1 That's so bad. In a game where they ended up winning.
Yeah. All right, Huey, wrap us up.

Speaker 8 My fire fest is I haven't taken a shit since I've gotten here.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 And I don't know what's going on. Wait, what? I don't know what's going on.
I've eaten every day, three meals.

Speaker 1 I've had snacks, don't know what's going on.

Speaker 4 Is your body just telling you like this is you're in a bad place right now? We need to concern.

Speaker 4 Maybe you're operating so efficiently that you're not creating any waste.

Speaker 1 I've done this as a kid before, where we've gone on trips, and I just, I'll pee fine. Everything else works.
No, I don't for like four days.

Speaker 1 Oh, I forgot to say, too, one of the craziest things that came out of camp was, I don't know if you saw this PFT, but I think it happened multiple times.

Speaker 1 If you walked by on the basketball court, it was just memes and Shane playing two-on-one versus Huey. And it was insane to watch.
It got up to Huey.

Speaker 1 It was just

Speaker 1 four-on-one.

Speaker 1 They were just like bullying him. Like, he would never touch the ball because it was two-on-one.

Speaker 1 The editors looked like they are Harlem Globetries out there.

Speaker 1 He was just floundering around trying to.

Speaker 1 And I walked by actually before last night when Memes literally was like, Huey, you you ready for some two-on-one?

Speaker 1 Like, they're still doing this?

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's his own sport.

Speaker 1 It was so funny.

Speaker 4 It's like a time game. How quickly can you get to 11 points against Huey?

Speaker 1 I won one of the games. What? Will you be in? And I was within one shot on three of them.
What?

Speaker 1 How? I could shoot. Oh.
Every time I would shoot it, I yell, Caitlin. Caitlin? Yeah.

Speaker 4 He goes, I'm her.

Speaker 1 All right, so Huey, you got to shit, man. Yeah, I ate some.
Before you get on this bus. I ate some fruit this morning.

Speaker 1 Seemed to have done more damage than anything I've eaten so far. So have you shit? No, not yet, but I've have you had coffee? No, I'm not a coffee guy.

Speaker 4 Drink some coffee.

Speaker 1 That would probably be new to my system.

Speaker 4 Yeah, if you drink a cup of coffee and you've never drank coffee, that's going to run through you like it's going through a goose.

Speaker 1 I'm also a little scared of these bathrooms, and I don't know if that's just. They're fine.
Yeah, they're okay.

Speaker 4 Now, I understand what Huey. I think your body is just anxious.
I think since you know that you're away from home base, there's a comfortability. There's comfortability.

Speaker 4 Your Your body knows to shut it down until you get back into a situation where you're comfortable pooping.

Speaker 1 Yeah, something's up.

Speaker 9 But we're going to be all right.

Speaker 4 Huey, you want to finish this cup of coffee?

Speaker 4 It's just a little bit of coffee.

Speaker 9 Sure, sure.

Speaker 9 I'll give it a shot.

Speaker 1 Okay. Well.

Speaker 4 We got to have you shitting, Huey.

Speaker 1 Here we do.

Speaker 4 It's part of your job description.

Speaker 1 Here we do.

Speaker 4 Give him a sticker when he's done.

Speaker 1 Okay, next week, football week, fully, fully. I know there's four games Saturday, which we'll talk about on Monday, but full football week.
We're gonna prep everyone for week one of college football.

Speaker 1 We got some great guests lined up.

Speaker 1 So let's kick it to ourselves back in studio with numbers.

Speaker 4 Love you guys.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's wrap up the week.

Speaker 1 Let's do some numbers:

Speaker 4 56, 8,

Speaker 9 20.

Speaker 2 Go 97, Pug.

Speaker 1 Juan.

Speaker 1 21. What was that? One.
Juan?

Speaker 2 Juan?

Speaker 1 Juan.

Speaker 1 Say.

Speaker 1 What is that?

Speaker 1 I think it's 86.

Speaker 9 86. You thought it was 56.

Speaker 1 No, I thought it was 98. Yeah, but I forgot he did 97.

Speaker 1 Max,

Speaker 1 madmen mean, I don't think about you. Okay?

Speaker 9 I mean, you literally only pick my two numbers.

Speaker 1 No, they're mine.

Speaker 1 Oh, they're my two numbers.

Speaker 9 And you start off every single one of these asking if I've ever gotten it.

Speaker 1 Have you ever gotten a lottery ball? I've gotten the numbers. Have you ever gotten either?

Speaker 4 I've never gotten the lottery ball. No, not on this machine.

Speaker 1 The lottery ball is all that matters, and you know that.

Speaker 7 You know that.

Speaker 9 I got the number.

Speaker 4 Love you guys. Come on, Harry.
We wanna say goodnight to you.

Speaker 4 Don't keep away.

Speaker 4 While I'm living,

Speaker 4 I'm not to say I'm saying anyway.

Speaker 4 You did it for the day to find you. Shine away.

Speaker 4 I'll be coming for your love of dreams. Take

Speaker 4 on

Speaker 4 me.

Speaker 4 Take

Speaker 4 me

Speaker 4 on

Speaker 4 I'll be

Speaker 4 gone

Speaker 4 And if you have to

Speaker 4 need that to say

Speaker 4 I'm hard to say it's But I'm easy to a little way

Speaker 4 Cause all the

Speaker 4 life is okay to say after me

Speaker 4 listening better to say this all the way. Take

Speaker 4 on

Speaker 4 me,

Speaker 4 take

Speaker 4 me

Speaker 4 I'll be

Speaker 4 gone

Speaker 4 every day I'll do

Speaker 4 all the things that you say

Speaker 4 that I've done.

Speaker 4 Just blame my birthday.

Speaker 4 You are the things I've got to remember.

Speaker 4 You shine away.

Speaker 4 I'll become who anyway.

Speaker 4 Take

Speaker 4 on

Speaker 4 me.

Speaker 4 Take

Speaker 4 me

Speaker 4 on.

Speaker 4 I'll be

Speaker 4 gone

Speaker 4 in a day.

Speaker 4 I'll be

Speaker 4 gone

Speaker 4 in a day.