Caleb Williams, Hard Knocks Episode 3, Mt Rushmore Of Things That Are Hard To Explain

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We're up at Hallis Hall. Hard Knocks.
Yeah, we're going to talk some Hard Knocks. We made our Hard Knocks debut.
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And boys, that's the best episode of Hard Knocks I've ever seen. Hard Knocks.
We made it. That was really fucking cool.
It was. It was pretty awesome.
Almost didn't happen for me. I forgot to sign the release until like three hours before the actual airing of the episode.
Of course. I'm bad with's a theme on this podcast but yeah it was it was cool it was kind of surreal uh myself big cat max and memes were all on hard knocks it was uh it was pretty much the whole squad was on hard knocks yeah had a blast doing it and uh i think that they took some some fair a fair representation of what the interview is encapsulated into hard knocks yeah so it was it was very cool we we always we had our interview planned with kail Williams last tuesday uh and we went up to hallas hall and we're like maybe there's a chance like we get seen in the background at hard knocks turns out the majority of the hard knocks film crew is fans of ours and we're fans of them and like they were the coolest dudes ever they're like hey they're awesome do you mind if we like punch into your sound and then so they listen to the whole interview is that right well they listen all right go ahead i know you didn't get it no that was good what did i say what did i say wrong that was good they patched patched i love hearing you talk shop yeah i'm sorry what they didn't do which i was notes.
What they didn't do, which I was disappointed about. You rang a bell.

You were in Missoula's fucking thing.

And Hank thought that there was a possibility this could happen.

Before the interview, we were waiting in this room for Caleb to shower

or get ready after practice.

We were waiting in another room.

We weren't waiting in the room where Caleb was showering.

We were waiting in a different room while Caleb was showering.

He was showering, yes.

Caleb was showering in a bathroom. Yes, we were not.
And were in the interview room yes that did not have running water correct and so we're waiting there and we got into a big just I want to say debate but it was really just um Hank versus the world you know like just a regular day you know you know you know like in the Roman Empire when they would like tie up a bear to a stake and then have a bunch of wolves just stand around it and try to kill it that's what we're doing to hank uh for about 20 minutes and hank thought that they might use some of this this uh just hank baiting it was that was when we knew the guys uh like liked us and knew us because they were chuckling in the background and i was like you see like we just never turn off the podcast we're just doing it right now well hank was in a mood too yeah so he wasn't in a mood but uh it was a great mood it was really cool yeah i said a mood i didn't say what kind of mood so they patched into our sound yeah they punched in they punched into our sound so we were like this is awesome maybe they'll use a clip cool and then like maybe a day later i got a text from someone at hard knocks and they're like hey can we get all your footage i was like yeah no problem and at that point i was like i boys i think we're gonna be in hard knocks yeah and then they they sent us the uh edit uh what is sunday and we watched it and we're like well this is the coolest thing ever so yeah the show that we've been watching for 20 years uh we all made it yeah and caleb Caleb was a cool guy, confident guy. I like talking to him.
I think the way that he came across, or the way that he's coming across on Hard Knocks is also what we saw in person. Yeah.
Seemed like a good dude. He would have pressed the button.
He would have killed somebody. Oh, he was pressing the button.
He was going like this. He was smashing that kill Bears fan button on his leg.
And I would imagine, just from the replies that I got on Twitter tonight, there are probably thousands of Bears fans. Everyone was saying, smash it.
That would willingly die for 10 Bears Super Bowls. If you got the credit for it, for sure.
Yeah, yeah. Get the statue.
Besides us, we're not such narcissists that that was the only Hard Knocks recap. I mean, I obviously.
No, I think we're good. I i loved the episode just because it was the hype is at an all-time high i understand that it was the bengal second defense i understand that but i'm gonna i'm gonna ride the hype wave the way they edited it the way they ended it what do you what are you doing uh we got a text while you were talking big cat it was from max max is uh now butting into the show via text he says h Hank take your hand out of your pocket it looks like you're jerking off it did I looked over I did look like on camera it doesn't look good it did I I did that off air because I thought I would do it I didn't want to blow up a spot on the show well we couldn't tell Max because you touch your balls all the time that's true that's true that's welcome to.
Welcome to any new listeners. Pardon my team.
Actually, Hank does this every episode. He jerks off at some point.
You got to figure out when. It's usually during the Lighthouse segment.
Yeah. So, yeah, no, it was an awesome episode.
I feel like they finally started hammering in on different players. That was really cool.
Like Tori Taylor. Yeah.
He looks like Chef donnie he's a weapon he uh he doesn't like the nickname the crocodile hunter which that was the classic like media thing yeah oh there's an australian guy let's ask him if his nickname is the only australian person that we know and he was like no i don't know like call me literally anything but that yeah i actually thought he looked like brogan roback and i thought that his nickname should be bogan Roback. Ooh, I like that.
He looks like Chef Donnie, too. Yeah, he does.
And then we had Tyson Bajant was great. His dad is a world-class arm wrestler.
Well, not world-class. He is universe class.
Yeah, the best. He's the best in the history of left-handed arm wrestling.
Yeah, he's the best. Austin Booker, the ferret king.
No, the different guy. Oh, no.
Who was the ferret king? Is it Velas or Velas Jones? I don't think Velas Jones is the ferret king. I thought he was the ferret king.
Yeah. Oh, he might have been.
I think he's the ferret king, which is it's a red flag for me that he's a ferret guy. Yeah.
And he may have murdered his ferret. Oh, yeah.
It was Velas Jones. What was Austin Booker? He had a nickname too uh austin booker i don't know um i had like he was just doing nicknames for everyone his nickname austin reed austin reed yeah that's probably it they're very similar they could just switch names yeah the austin reed had a nice moment singing to everyone yeah that was a lot of fun case of cole yeah um and then we also had a pretty cool uh situation where learned about the Judon trade, which we actually are going to talk about in Hot Seat Cool Throne.
I think we pretty much covered it. I had some nice spin zones, but it was good.
I'll say this. I wish I had seen the episode before we talked about Hot Seat Cool Throne.
Hank, did you watch that part? Ryan Poles has guardrarails And he doesn't want to go too far

I saw the one I saw

Iber flew talking to the guy on the sidelines he's like

You think it's gonna happen they're like yeah

Yeah it's like if you're driving your car and you're like

You think we're gonna crash oh no the guardrails there

I love it because Big Cat was prepping for Hank

To come at him and the

Line of defense he had set up was just guardrails

Guardrails

Should we drive straight and they say yes, yes. No, no, no, no, no, no.
You're going to crash. You're going to crash, which would have been trading for Matthew Judon.
It would have been. We would have totaled our car.
Instead, the guardrail saved us. Like, Hank, if there was a guardrail.
The guardrails being in the guardrails are just Matthew Judon saying no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
It was the guardrail. Hank doesn't understand.
If there was a guardrail around that telephone pole in the parking lot my car'd be fine yeah i don't think you understand what a guardrail is we're gonna do the mount rushworth things that are hard to explain it's a guardrail and so yeah so like i just saw the clip where they're like yeah we really we're going for him we're gonna get him even if we're gonna get him and they're like yep but that right after that moment which you you probably didn't see even watch the episode, he hit into the guardrail.

Got it.

Yeah.

Yeah, there was a full room in there.

I wasn't really going to squeeze in.

He had a binder ready.

Poles had a binder.

He was just reading off fake stats.

That was set.

He was like, yeah, he's 50th in wins.

You have to understand.

Does he have that stats for every NFL player? Could you tell me via a punter how many wins added you get with a punter? That scene was, I think Kevin Warren put it in the Hard Knocks contract that he has to be in at least three scenes an episode. Oh, well, let's not downplay the scene where he was talking about the different chairs that you can get in the streets.
That was riveting television. they're designing suites for their stadium that doesn't exist yeah and kevin warren's making he's making executive choices about whether or not you want a high top chair with a back if you want people like sitting up if you want people standing if you want an adirondack chair like that's what you pay a guy like he's president of the team right yeah these are the decisions that a president has to make listen i'll i'll squash my beef with Kevin Warren for canceling the Big Ten football season uh when COVID happened if he gets the Bears a new stadium but that was I I assume Ryan pulls when he has to do these scenes where he's just like I can just say any stat yeah it will be good yeah 50th in added wins for a defensive end uh Montez was 19th last season.
Oh, I see right here. He's 32.
Looks like we hit a guardrail. That's one of the guardrails we talked about earlier.
Oh, he's from Louisiana. He probably wants to go to Atlanta.
Listen, listen, don't spoil the hot seat, cool drone spin zones that I had. Cooked up some good ones.
I had a question for you. After the game, they gave Caleb Williams the ball from his first touchdown pass.
Or was it from his run? His touchdown run. Is that the first time that you think football has been put into an alligator purse? That wasn't his purse.
I think that was his carry-all. His purse was next to that.
Oh, the carry-all. Yeah, yeah.
Is that the first time? Please, PFT. Is that the first time? Learn men's fashion.
A football has been put into an alligator carry-all. No, definitely not.
Dude's been rocking the alligators forever. Are you serious? I don't know.
We're asking a question. That's a common.
The purse next to the carry-all, if you put it in there, maybe you'd have an argument. The carry-all is guys walk in.
Think about the tunnel walk. Like ESPN Countdown.
They're all wearing. the carry it's all gator yeah a lot of them i gotta get into some gator yeah i mean we're gonna get into a kill i'm probably gonna buy whatever that european handbag he has is yeah the gator one no i'm gonna get the carry-all that's the carry-all i'm also i thought set.
I'm also going to get the handbag. No, I don't think they're matching sets.

Good episode, though.

Yeah, I liked it.

I liked it a lot.

It's so funny that Matthew Judon trade was like a five-minute segment after we taped.

The Wi-Fi is not great here, so we're trying to get the upload as fast as possible so people can listen.

And so we taped a lot of the show earlier today, and we had an extended spin zone for me about where places are in America. Mm-hmm.
Yeah. Only other thing I had before we get to Hot Seat Cool Throne is, are you guys sitting down? Yeah.
J-Lo and Ben Affleck have broken up. Really? I never could have seen this coming.
Love is dead. You think maybe the band's getting back together? I don't know a rod if i know a rod he's not gonna call first this has a rod soft fingerprints all over listen if we see j-lo it's a minister she is a timberwolves fan yeah die hard so wouldn't shock me but yeah isn't it i mean you guys thought they were going to be together forever i did but you know what this is a good.
I honestly didn't even realize I got married again. I thought they were like divorced.
Yeah. They had gotten divorced.
They just started like dating again. It's a good opportunity for us because, you know, we can't date Taylor Swift.
She's off the market. But I think maybe you could slide into J-Lo's deals.
Yeah. I've been to multiple of her houses before.
Multiple of her houses. How about that? You've been in the back doors oh we have been to multiple of her houses that's weird and she smelled nice in all of them yeah and she hate she only i don't think they let me walk inside the one in the hamptons they're just like showed me oh we never went inside show me around and then to the backyard the la one she's got a great backyard the la the la one she uh i've never seen someone more angry to see two guys in someone's house like that weren't outside of someone robbing actually i think she would have been less angry if it was robbers because she'd been like i'll just call the police she saw us in her face immediately dropped and she's like these fucking guys are in my house the? Yeah, that was bad.
Hank, between you and J-Lo, you'd have

a perfectly normal-sized ass.

Yeah.

Dude, Hank, you should.

Just slide. Hank, send her a DM.

Send her a DM right now. I want to see it.

Just be like, heard you got divorced.

Hey, remember me? Yeah.

Heard you got divorced. I was the guy that was in your

backyard.

Oh, wait.

No, no.

No, just write, so divorce, question mark.

No, no.

Hey, do so, dot, dot, dot.

Yeah.

Divorce, question mark.

Look, here's a picture from a backyard.

Oh, yeah.

That is.

Oh, wow.

Let me see a picture.

Really nice backyard.

Yeah, it's really nice.

What did you send her? What did you send her? I said, so, dot, dot, dot. Div is.
Oh, wow. Let me see a picture.
Really nice backyard. Yeah, it's really nice.
What did you send her?

What did you send her?

I said so dot dot dot.

Divorce question mark?

No, you follow up with a divorce.

Yeah, I'll wait till tomorrow.

I'll send her the exclamation point on that.

Be like, you must have missed this.

I heard you like guys from Boston.

Well, no, that's a bad time for that.

And she's also, yeah, she's going back to A-Rod.

That's true.

Yeah. So we're good.
But yeah, shocking news in the love world, which we cover extensively. It's tough on this show.
Also, there was a fire at the Cowboys Hotel today. Oh, yeah.
So everyone's safe. Who started it? If I had to guess, I would probably say Jerry.
This might be a Vesuvio's thing. He needs money.
He's got to pay Dak and CeeDee. He might trade CeeDee.
Yeah, you're right. I'm surprised there's still a camp.
I feel like camp ended. Camp broke for a lot of people, yeah.
Yeah, because they just announced a lot of these preseason games, no one started. Honestly, if we're being real, if Michael Irvin was around.
Yeah. That was his fire.
That's my guess. That was that was his fire for sure uh okay we got a great rest of the show so we'll kick it to ourselves uh with hot seat cool to run mount rushmore of things that are hard to explain and caleb williams the barstool golf time app makes it easy for golfers to find the best tee times at the best prices stop searching all over google for your next tee time start searching multiple courses in your area from one app.
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Celebrate responsibly. Co Company Golden Colorado Coors Light the best beer out there oh nothing better than a Coors Light in the fall tailgate at the big game it's the best beer in the world all right hot seat cool thrown Hank my hot seat is the Chicago Bears why we talked about the Matthew Judon trade and basically it worked out for for the Patriots.
The Bears and the Falcons had very similar offers. So the Patriots gave Matthew Judon the option of which team he wanted to go to.
And he chose the Falcons. I mean, he's from Louisiana, I think.
So not too far from Atlanta. Yeah, they love the Falcons in Louisiana.
Yeah, they love them. I'm honestly happy that we didn't trade uh yeah i i think ryan poles has got it set up perfectly they wanted to see well they offered yeah yeah made the offer uh doing that it's not intentional no but i sounds like the bears drove up the price for the falcons yeah exactly no it's the same price no no they had two offers drove up.
No, they drove it up. They drove it up.
Because the Falcons had to match. So the guy that you said was definitely going to be still on the Patriots, you're now saying it's a loss for the Bears.
I think if it gets presented in the way it got presented, where it's like a player had the choice. I saw this tweet.
It was like a week old. I got tagged in it.
It was it was a couple days ago yeah it was a week old well let me see albert breer's tweet was was really the mean one and i didn't even think it was fair but wait hank i thought you were saying that it's okay to lose matthew judon because he's getting older two days so wouldn't that be a good thing yeah aren't you shouldn't i be happy that he's not on the bears that was a good he doesn't really fit with iberflue's scheme either albert breer said new england and Falcons, were in similar category and with third-round offers from both, gave linebacker Judon his choice of being dealt to Atlanta or Chicago. And then Breer said, Judon obviously picked Atlanta.
Obviously. Well, obviously because that's where he ended up.
And he's got more chance to play. He might not even be a starter on our defense.
He's from Louisiana. It's so deep.
I think the obviously part came from the fact that he is indeed a Falcon,

so obviously he did pick the Falcons.

Also, not fitting into Matt Iberflus' scheme,

that's a very good thing historically.

Matt Iberflus is a good defensive coordinator.

I mean, just as a head coach.

Yeah, but he's a good defense.

He turned that defense around when our defensive coordinator left for various reasons.

Was it various reasons?

Various reasons.

Yeah, Matthew Judon.

He's from Louisiana, close to Atlanta, and he went to high school in Michigan.

Probably hates the Bears because he liked the Lions.

That makes sense.

Yeah, actually, if you do Detroit and Baton Rouge, Atlanta's probably right in the middle. Also, net positive for the Bears because he wears the long-sleeved sweatshirt.
Yep. That's not a tough Chicago Bearweather guy.
Listen, we're not in full win-now mode. We're in win-now.
But you wanted him. I never – find me a tweet where I said I wanted him.
No, the Bears. I'm saying you.
I think Ryan's just You know He's wheeling and dealing He's out in the business You gotta at least call I would say the win now Window Is open Yeah The Bears Yeah win now Window might be open I think it's open We got some regular season games You got a nice little draft coming Yeah Then my cool throne's back Dude she's trying to yuck my yum no i just you know it was a it was a topic

of conversation on this show this is hank is it was an interesting follow-up that's a relevant

follow-up hank is in the depths because he actually i saw him off camera the other day

admit that the patriots are gonna be terrible this year he's trying to drag us down that's just i

mean if we're doing admit admitations off camera that's a slippery slope but oh what i meant no

i'm not i'm not gonna stoop to that level what i meant what's going on hank what's on your mind

I'm not going'm not gonna stoop to that level what i meant what's going on hank what's in your mind i'm not gonna stoop to that level my cool thrones back where do i begin i mean i got a laundry list of things there's a code there's a code i mean saying that you think the patriots are bad that's a bad that's a code that i broke i didn't say i think they bad. I just think they're not going to win a lot of games.
Yeah.

Statistically.

Yeah.

My cool throw is Backyard Baseball.

Okay.

Oh, yeah.

It's back.

It's back.

Yeah.

They released a video.

Someone found their...

They started an Instagram a couple weeks ago, and someone uncovered the Instagram, which

is one of the crazier...

That's just a weird internet thing where someone's like, I found this Backyard Baseball Instagram

account.

It has 200 followers, but it follows... How do do you find that that seems like it was planted maybe because then it came back this week didn't we talk to them yeah we did what i was not supposed to no i don't know i'm pretty sure they came in the office because we were talking about maybe making a level.
I guess our office.

I got a text about that from somebody and I passed it along.

Yeah.

I don't know if you followed up on it.

Is this a bad admit offline?

No.

This is your thing now.

Well, I'm asking you a question.

We did.

Yeah.

That happened.

It didn't happen publicly, but it definitely happened.

I'm going to have to be careful when I say in the group chats from now on.

Strike that admit from the... I mean...
It would have been sick. It would have been sick.
I'm pumped. It still might happen.
Who knows? This actually makes it probably a better chance. Let's get it done.
I have an on-camera admission, Hank. Okay.
I've never played backyard baseball. I also have never.
It seems like it's fun. Because we're a little older.
This stinks for you guys. I know.
I want to play. I'm not knocking it.
I would love to play it Pablo Sanchez When did it come out? Kenny Tamaguchi At least like 99 I don't know Because the players were definitely Your era of players 1997 I'm sorry How old are you? Well, here's the thing. My family, we were always like two generations behind the most current game system.
So it would take me a good like eight years to catch up to whatever was popular. Sunny Day.
Chuck Downfield. Something else.
I really wanted Matthew Judon on the team. Dante Robson.
Kenny Kawaguchi. That's what it was.
Sundance like that. Vicky Kawaguchi was trash.
Change the topic. I got my feefies hurt the other day because there was one of those.
Feefies? Yeah, there was a Twitter poll out there that said, which quarterback would you rather have retweet for Jaden Daniels heart for Drake May? Oh. And of course, Drake May.
That's dirty trick. That's what I don't like.
I don't like that. That's election interference when you do that.
It that you could dirty trick you could put up a poll that said which cast member part of my take is taller uh retweet for big cat heart for pft and i would win that maybe not maybe maybe we should do a social experiment on that one because i feel like those polls those polls are skewed they're they're skewed and i don't like they are skewed theywed. They are skewed.
Yeah, I'm excited for backyard baseball. Backyard football also elite.
It was a computer game? So maybe I did play it a little bit. No, no, you're not allowed.
No, you're not allowed to talk. You would know Pete Webber and Pablo Sanchez if you got to control their power and speed.
I'm not saying I ever played it to like, I never played it, but I've have played one time maybe Kenny Kawaguchi Because I forgot it was computer So it was all It was not on a gaming system It was a computer game MS-DOS Yes Yes CD-ROM I'm starting to come back to me But I did not play it I'm not saying I played it I'm saying I was aware of it More than I realized That would be a good Mount Rushmore too Is Mount Rushmore of computer games Yeah Yeah. Not video games.
Snood one, one. I love Snood.
Doom. Power Pete.
I think backyard baseball would do one. Boomer, doom and quake chocolate chunk.
I used to play Matt. I used to play like MVP baseball on computer, but I should just, that was why.
Yeah. The no, it was N64.
Ken Griffey baseball was my jam. The free pinball on.
I hate free pinballball. Free pinball is great.
I've never been a pinball dad. Not on the computer.
No, in general, I hate pinball. But the space pinball on the computer was elite.
Hank puts like 18 hours of pinball in a week in our office. When Hank complains about coming to- When he takes a vacation, he's actually mostly taking a vacation for pinball.
Yeah. It's basically, it just trades off.

He and Spider and whoever has the record,

you just can just take the other person

and scratch off their entire week,

knowing that that's all they're going to try to do.

There's times where Hank's like,

all right, I'm heading home.

See you guys later.

And then like three hours later,

you walk over into the kitchen.

It's like, what dude?

You're still here.

It's the ultimate because it's free.

It's like, it's the ultimate, like one more game. And then it's it's yeah yeah do you know pinball used to be like a badass thing to do back in the day and like the yeah the 60s 70s dads would be like don't date that boy he plays pinball pinball it's one game it's addicting probably why it's like addictive personality syndrome good hot seat cool thrown thanks yeah you and spider two Real uh rebels of the office My hot seat is uh

That guy Good hot seat, cool thrown, Hank. Thanks.
Yeah, you and Spider, two real rebels of the office. My hot seat is that guy Sinner, the tennis player.
Oh, steroids? Steroids. Oh, no.
So Sinner just won at Indian Wells, I think, last week. He beat Tiafoe.
And a report just came out today. He tested positive not once but twice for banned substance.
The tennis community, this was like months ago, they found out about it. They gave him a slap on the wrist and they accepted his explanation of how he got the steroids in his system.
And the explanation is his trainer was performing like, I don't know, you get calluses on your feet during a tournament or something. And his trainer said that he had a scalpel to cut off part of the calluses, accidentally

sliced his thumb, and then used like one of those new skin type sprays on his cut to heal

it up.

And then later on in the day, gave Sinner a full body massage.

And that's how the chemical got onto Sinner's body.

Okay.

So two things.

One, his name is Sinner.

Yeah.

Okay.

So. Hate the Sin.
Yeah, yeah. Love yeah love the center two um i think i defend him because if you come up with such a bullshit excuse the first time and they buy it why wouldn't you keep doing it being like they'll just come up with this they'll they'll accept anything well it was the same excuse he tested positive twice for it but he said again that's how he got it yeah again i think i would i think i have his back because like that's on the tennis community what's the federation uh so i actually saw this they have a ridiculous name i'm trying to look it up right now it's called like the uh federation for fairness in tennis but do you see what i'm saying like if you if you use such a ridiculous excuse the first time and they buy it, what is the disincentive to not keep using that excuse? There's none.
Right. So I would just keep doing it.
Like it makes no sense. RFK is going to keep collecting bear cubs in his car because he didn't get in trouble the first time.
That's just a fact. Right.
He got away with it. He's going to be a serial massager.
Right. So so yeah he said that it came from a spray used on his trainer's hand and then his trainer put the chemical on his body via a full body massage and then he he tested positive and then he tested positive got it later yeah again this is the other tennis players are pissed this is essentially like no honey the glitter on me is not from the strip club.
I actually went to a sprinkles party. I was going home and there was a huge stop in traffic and there was a three-year-old's birthday party happening and I got sprinkle bombs.
I actually stopped by Michael's craft store to pick up some things for the house because I know you like decorating. Right.
And if she buys that, then you're going to keep doing that. Yeah.
So center said, I will now put this challenging and deeply unfortunate period behind me. I will continue to do everything I can to ensure that I comply with the ITIA's anti-doping program.
It's called the International Tennis Integrity Agency. If an agency is named like that explicitly, uh, cornily, cornyly, cornily.
Yeah. It's no, there's no better mark that that agency is completely full of shit yes agreed if you have to add more the word salad agencies are always the most full of shit agencies in the world yeah uh okay good hot seat it's the same drug that uh fernando tatis got suspended for did he also get a massage i'm sure he did yeah'm sure he's always hurt, so probably.
So my cool throne is going to be Kirk Cousins. Kirk Cousins on the playlist.
He got the ox cord the other day. It was his birthday, so they let him choose the workout playlist at practice.
I'm just going to run through it because when I saw that it was a Kirk Cousins playlist, I thought that there would be a lot of Nickelback. I thought there'd be some Creed, some Coldplay, maybe some DC talk or Jars of Clay if you want to dip into the spiritual side.
But his playlist is The Middle by Jimmy Eat World. Move Along by The All-American Rejects.
There's Green Day, Stacey's Mom, Fountains of Wayne. Maybe got a little New York Jets quarterback in him.
Former Jet, current Bronco. All the Small Things by Blink-182.
The Anthem by Good Charlotte and Mr. Brightside.
It sounds like an awesome playlist. The Best of You by the Foo Fighters.
Another Good Charlotte song. Lifestyles of Rich and Famous.
Dirty Little Secret, Sugar We're Going Down. Somebody Told Me by The Killers.
Dear Maria, Count Me In by All Time low. This guy has good taste in music now.
Or maybe, maybe we're just washed. No.
Yes, we are. Yeah.
Why not both? True. Can I? I was going to say, why not both? Because you and I are.
Good point. Yeah.
Yeah. Listen, this.
You don't have to see. 31 is not washed.
not wash This is 31 is a spring chicken This is a great playlist Yeah it is Like Kirk Cousins surprised me I saw And I wanted to roast it Like All these songs rock This is good It's actually 90% Of a pop punk playlist Yes This is that These are actually This is our set list Oh Kirk C Cousins singing a punk song on stage would be awesome.

You might just have to start doing shows in Atlanta.

Yeah.

If you do it, like if you build it, they will come.

Yeah.

Just a residency in Atlanta.

Kirk, listen, anytime you want, you can get on stage, sing a song with us.

You don't have to sing the F word parts.

Yeah.

We'll bleep those out. We will.

Okay.

My hot seat is us.

This is a theme now.

We're just talking about Washington.

Actually, Hank, you might be in this.

Max, you might be in this too.

I was thinking, so we have a great life.

We have a great job.

Everything is awesome.

But there are definitely certain times when you're like, man, I miss that.

And every year, no matter what, it's these last two weeks of August when I see kids going back to college. I'm like, fuck, that was, that's it.
So I want to just give a PSA to anyone listening to this right now who went back to college or maybe starting college. It is the fastest four years of your life.
So just embrace it and like close your eyes and live in the moment. But I don I don't know something about these, like, like college football starting next week, those first few games on campus when it's hot and everyone's partying and everyone, and like the, the first September is such a joke in college.
You don't go to any of your classes. You don't have to worry about anything.
Midterms feel like so long away. Yeah.
We, we, it was constant welcome week where it was just an entire week where everyone went back just to rage i i uh yeah i miss it so it is a very very good week and it it's funny because when you're when you're in college you take summers off and then you go home you party with all your friends from your hometown and then when you go back to school you don't have that downside of um god damn it i have to go back to school you have oh yeah i get to go hang out with all my friends from college. Right.
And it's a great week. And yeah, I do miss that too.
It is because there's a lot of things about college I do not miss. And like, you know, living in squalor.
I kind of miss that. Every now and then.
I talked to you guys. I told you guys my wife was out of town last week.
I kind of went back to that. I was like, I don't think this is for me anymore.
But yeah, there's every now and then I'm just like, man, I miss that. Welcome week.
You know what I'm talking about, Hank. Max? I kind of miss the idea of just having an apartment where I would not care if everything in there got lost in fire.
I've lived in squalor for sure, just not at college. Just breaking shit.
Yeah. Putting holes in the wall.
That's artwork now. I threw now i threw a backwards still ass i lived in the same apartment for two years in madison didn't somehow didn't really break a lot of stuff like you know wear and tear last day before we moved out i threw a behind the back pass beer can right through the window that rocks so awesome i mean it's too late no money and it was like 300 bucks to fix yeah this fucking sucks yeah forget about that glass pain.
It's awesome. I mean, it's too late to fix it.
And I had no money and it was like 300 bucks to fix. Yeah, it's too late to fix it.
This fucking sucks. Yeah, forget about that glass pane.
It was, I think I was living with the Beave at one point and we had so much trash in the kitchen and our landlord came over. He was like, you guys got to get rid of all this trash.
And I was like, okay, be careful what you wish for. I told this before.
And so I took it out on the porch and we had, it was, you know, like one of those um second story apartments so you had like a little deck area that was maybe you know the size of i don't know just like a large closet and then you had a deck above you and a deck below you i took all that trash out there we gathered it and then we had a controlled burn we just lit it on fire and then the landlord came by later and he was like you can't be lighting fires or i said told us hold us. I said, okay, dad, you told me to take the trash out.
Not our fault. Not our fault.
Okay. My cool throne is, so yeah, just embrace college.
If you're going to college, you're going back to college, if you're starting college, fucking embrace it. Cause the beginning, the first few weeks when it's just beautiful weather and you don't have to go to class is just, there's something special.
All right. right.
My cool throne, I have two. One is for Aaron Rogers because when we had Aaron Rogers on, uh, for chill week, he told us make football hard again.
That was one of the things he wanted. And he said that the camp, the jets camp this year is much harder and maybe the hardest in the last seven or eight years of his

career. And he said that Robert Salah is like really cracking the whip and the boys are hitting hard and it's tough and it's making football hard.
So good job, Aaron Rodgers made football hard. Good job, Aaron Rodgers.
And it sounds like everybody on the Jets is there. Yeah.
Right. Asan Reddick? Update? Memes?

Memes, is Asan Reddick not hard?

I Yeah. Right? Hasan Reddick? Update, memes? Memes, is Hasan Reddick not hard? Memes, the season's about to start.
He'll come. He'll come.
He's got to be hard before he comes. He's going to come.
No, he's going to come. He'll get hard.
He'll come. You sure he's going to come? Positive.

He's going to come.

Okay.

Well, so he has not come yet, right?

And he owes what?

Like $3 million?

That's an expensive come.

What will you do if he doesn't come?

We just wait for him.

But Matthew Judon is helping him come.

Why?

He said today that he wants to show off for the Falcons so he could earn his contract. So how does that have anything to do with Hassan Reddick? Oh, Hassan Reddick just needs to show up and he'll get that contract.
So you think Hassan Reddick saw Matthew Judon said that and said, you know what? He's right. Well, it doesn't help his case.
What? Hassan Reddick because he hasn't showed up. Well, Hassan Reddick is watching another man come for the Falcons and he's not coming yet also Hasan Reddick is three years younger than Matthew John Matthew John knows that this is his last chance at a contract could be Hasan's too okay I guess yeah yeah right sure 29 could be his last big one Kyle Shanahan taught us we might die tomorrow.
Yeah.

Memes, I don't think you're going to get him to come.

I think we will.

I really don't think you're going to get him to come.

I don't even think he's hard.

He hasn't been at camp.

He can't get.

Yeah.

You have to be at camp to get hard. Right.

So he's soft as could be right now.

And you're telling me he's going to come.

I think he's going to come.

No.

You got gotta walk before

you nut all right my other uh cool throne is tua tua's on my cool throne yeah because uh he went on levitard show and basically uh said that brian flores was doing mental torture on him and uh he said if you woke up every morning and i told you that you suck at what you did that you don't belong

that you don't belong

doing what you do

you shouldn't be here, that this guy should be here, that you haven't earned this right. And then you have somebody else come in and tell you, dude, you're the best fit for this.
He said, how would it make you feel listening to one or the other? Talking about Brian Flores basically shitting on Tua every single day. And so normally I saw that clip.
I was like, yeah, that sucks. But who knows? Like Tua might be exaggerating.
Brian Flores actually came out and said like I've evolved. And yeah, I kind of fucked that up.
Yeah. Also, I think Tua said he was a terrible person.
Yeah. You don't really hear quarterbacks say it that much.
It sounds like Tua is to Brian Flores as Big Cat is to the chat. What do you mean? Like the chat is your Brian.
Oh yes. Yeah.
They, they, every time I log on for the streams for the Doug streams, they're like, you're terrible at what you do. You shouldn't be here.
Someone else should be here. You suck.
I hate you. Sliders, uh, cheat code, glitch play.
You just need more positive energy. Learn more plays.
Learn more plays. Oh yeah.
Four played playbook. You're never going to win the big one you're a piece of shit no composure no composure you're fat we hate you we hope you die this does give me pre-recorded pre-recorded this does give more credence to our theory though that former new england patriots coaches they go places they become head coaches and then they absolutely tank those teams so that the Patriots would have an easier walk through their division it sounds like if you were to tell me that Brian Flores was sent on a mission to the Miami Dolphins to destroy the team and destroy their new quarterback it sounds like that's exactly what he was doing Flores admitted it was true so two is not wrong but yeah his last two seasons Dolphins, they won 19 games.
Mike McDaniel's first two seasons with the Dolphins, they've won 20. Okay.
So it's not like he was the worst coach in the world. He was getting semi-results.
They missed the playoffs with 10 wins. Let's look back at Brian Flores' tenure as a Miami Dolphin.
He destroyed the confidence of their young quarterback. He sued the team, and he narked on the team.
But he won some games. It's also just as simple as everyone would leave Belichick's coaching tree and try to be Bill Belichick.
And it turns out when you tell someone you suck, you don't know what you're doing, you're a piece of shit, it's something that you can listen to when the person has six rings. And when they don't, they're just an asshole.
Or it's easier for you to accept that criticism. Correct.
If you're already good. Yeah.
If you're Tom Brady and you have a guy that's telling you like always on your case, I'm sure that sucks a lot. Yeah.
But it's probably easier to digest that than it would be if you're a first-year quarterback and your coach is just destroying your confidence before you have an opportunity to get in it. Yeah, it's carrot in the stick.
If you know there's a carrot at the end and someone says, oh, they're hitting you with the stick, it's like, well, I'm going to get the carrot. Actually, that doesn't work.
We have to change that entire analogy too because who gives a fuck about a carrot? If I'm getting

hit by a stick, I'd rather have the carrot.

If you were to say like Cool Ranch Doritos

or a stick. Yeah, did a rabbit write that?

Yeah. That makes no

sense. It should be Coors Light

and a stick. Yeah.
Mountain

Dew and a stick. Yeah, that's what I said.

That would get me

to get off my ass. Mountain Dew.
Shout out

Mountain Dew. The best.
Okay, Huey, you're up. My hot seat.
I got a question for you, Huey. Yeah.
When you do Who's Back, someone mentioned this. Do you say Hugh is back? No, I think people want me to start saying Hugh's back.
Okay, nice. Yeah, I got a couple DMs from that.
They're like, you should do a Hughes back. Oh, I thought you might've even said it.
It was kind of like dress, you know, is it whatever green or gold? Yeah. Yeah.
I remember that. Black or gold.
My hot seat. Godster children.
Childress. Oh yeah.
So it was a former lion first round pick. He.
He, at one in the morning, took a flight.

Apparently, in his apology, took a couple of sleeping medications

that he's not familiar with.

Okay.

And he peed on a woman.

On a plane.

On a plane, yes.

On a plane.

Godster.

Godster Children.

Children.

Yeah, he's a big guy.

I think he's churlis.

Churlis, yeah.

He's like 6'5", 6'6". He was a tackle.
Big son of a bitch. Peeing on you.
On a flight. 1am flight.
If you do take sleeping pills, you can have crazy things. Crazy things can happen to you on a flight.
Absolutely. Hank, would you like to see a picture of Godster? See if it's your speed? No.
Okay. Just seeing? I'm not into that stuff.
I do love every time. Sure, you're into planes.
When somebody goes viral for anything that happens on a plane, just the first response is, Hank, are you going to date them? You just started dating Godster Childress? Okay. My cool throne, a man by the name of D.

Oh, boy.

Why do you pick the hardest names?

Well, also, isn't it Churlis?

I don't think there's a D in the last name.

We're just going with Childress.

Okay.

Godster Churlis.

Ducras.

Ducris Duplass.

Duplass.

Are you talking about DDP?

This guy that Tour de France? DDP, UFC guy No DS DSP DDP Yeah I just think of DDP Drikus Duplass Just go with DDP Duplass This is great because we can't get sued for this Even if we get the story story wrong. Yeah.
We don't have any idea who you're talking about.

He beat Israel Adesanya.

Oh, nailed that. Round four of a UFC fight.

Round five, sorry.

Round five championship fight.

But in round four, it was a rough, rough round for Dekris.

And he was not looking good.

He looked like he was clearly going to lose that fight. And then fifth round comes in.
Izzy. It didn't happen.
Is your cool throne the UFC fights from Saturday? My cool throne is D-Chris Duplass. Yeah, coming back out of nowhere.
Coming, waking up from the dead. is like a magic johnson tweet yeah just like just four days later decress way to go dude so is it was a good fight it was it was great yeah it was great it was awesome it was just you know we didn't see it coming and now he's now he's got the world in front of him yeah good for him champion yeah cool cool throw ddp GDP.'d you find that story was that you said no i was watching it on saturday and then i just kind of forgot about yeah i kind of was like let's bring it up yeah i wasn't watching that i was i kind of wish you saved this for friday's show would have been nicer if you got even more time in between i should start doing ufc reca on Friday.
Yeah, just a week later. Wait, did you say that you weren't really watching the fight? You were watching mostly for Joe Rogan? Well, Joe Rogan had a commentator.
Oh, you watched the fight commentator? Yeah. Companion, yeah.
I knew it was happening. Yeah.
Yeah, he didn't buy the pay-per-view. He watched Joe Rogan and Brennan Schaub watch it and commentate on it.
I like that. That's a hell of a way to watch it.
Hughie's second screen is just his first screen. So they must have said his name a lot.
Yeah. Oh yeah.
They would say his last name a lot. Okay.
Where's he from? South Africa? Yeah. It was a battle of Africa.
Mies. Yeah, it was a battle of Africa.
I'm from South Africa. Alright.
Good hot sequel hot sequel thrown everyone let's do the mount rushmore of things that are hard to explain okay mount rushmore time it's brought to you by our friends at mountain dew you see us we're a camp this is uh gonna be the funnest week we're basically kids again mountain dew they were a wonderful sponsor grit week as well you know what we all need to do? We need to get off our ass. With bold flavors, refreshing citrus kick, Mountain Dew will get you off your ass and have you feeling like you're an actual mountain.
Hank just dropped a couple of the Mountain Dews. A mountain where the weather is always perfect.
Your friends are ready to hang in a day of epic proportions awaits. We're going to play.
I think we're going to swim. We're going to be doing some softball.
We're going to do some rock climbing. It's all Mountain Dew.
So I've been drinking this Mountain Dew. It is.
Mountain Dew is one of those sodas where it's like every time I have them, I need to drink more Mountain Dew. I got the Code Red right here.
No soda changed the game harder than Code Red. When Code Red dropped, it was the beginning of the era.
They changed the game multiple times. Oh, the Baja Blast.
They changed the game, then they changed the game again. Yeah, Hank actually taste tested the Baja Blast.
Hank invented Baja Blast. And they were powerhouse before they even changed the game.
Yeah, right. They were powerhouse, then they changed the game.
Then everyone's like, oh, this is a new game. They're like, whoops, we just changed on you again.
Code red. Yeah.
So thank you to Mountain Dew. Okay.
Mount Rushmore of things that are hard to explain. Right now, we are with five Mount Rushmores left.
Max has already clinched. Whatever.
65. Good job, Max.
Thanks, guys. I have 54.
So I'm still in danger. PFT has 47.
Hank has 44. Yes, I am.

Anybody's game. Technically, that's cute when you throw that

in there. That's nice.
Hank, if you

rattle off the next five going number

one and I pick up a point,

I'm screwed. I mean, Hank should have gotten number

one last time. I know.
The voting.

How do you feel about how that went? You blame

the voters. No, I don't.

Stop the steal? Yeah.

On your Mount Rushmore picks? Yeah, Hank looked at it. He was the first vote and it had 100% for him.
And then all of a sudden, in the middle of the night, they changed all the votes. It's crazy.
So are you feeling? I feel good. I feel like this is a perfect Mount Rushmore for you because a lot of things are hard to explain for you.
Well, there's a lot of material for Hank to work. Yeah.
Yeah. I'm excited.

I'm blessed to have the opportunity, and I'm looking forward to the end of the season.

Okay.

You sound like a Belichick. You sound like you're about to retire.

No, it's a hard game.

You know, sometimes, you know, you finish the season, you want to get ready in the offseason

and go for next year, and I might have to do some thinking.

You got to circle the wagons right now.

This is the time where you got to circle the wagons, gear up for the playoff push hank's thinking is going to be wow i don't have to do this anymore and then next year he's gonna be like wait this is back yeah that's gonna be the extent i think we should do teams like i don't i think doing like split up like i don't know it's kind of weird how this was next year mount russmore we're just gonna have to do like we'll have Max and PFT. We'll have all three of my kids.
We'll just use their picks first Hank and just see how he does. I should get the first four picks and then you guys go.
That's actually not. Yeah.
That's not a bad idea. Well, I mean, the truth is Hank, you could very easily beat me.
It's not like I've been great. This is my, no, you got it.
You, you're, you're so, no, i'm three points ahead of you how how does the point system work now uh three two one four three two one okay so there's a good chance hank that you could even surpass me this game that's literally impossible no but he you could tie yeah yeah you could tie good math if you get four points and i get zero points no one point you get one you get one. You get one for just showing up.
This is like the SAT.

Hank said four, three, two, one, zero.

Yeah, he just – but count that.

No, fifth place gets zero.

Mike's first fifth. My first thing.

Fifth place gets zero.

How a snake draft works.

Okay, what's the order?

This is going to be a trickle.

This time it's going to be sitting out of order.

It's going to be Max, me, Big Cat, Hank. Okay.
Because Hank went first last time. Now we got to be on our...
And he took boobs. Yeah.
Feeling. Boobs.
We got to be smart here because we're zigzagging across the room. We're going to mess up a thousand percent.
Yes. Yes.
All right. So, Max, you're up first? I am first.
Max is like, do you feel good about making it not competitive? It's not fun. I mean, it is competitive.
Where was his last summer? You didn't let me pick anything last summer. Yeah, actually, that's a great point.
I didn't even realize that, that you had the best Mount Rushmore picker on your team last year, and you still lost. Hank was going for one week.
I think I got first every time. Yeah.
And since you've already clinched, you can open up the book here. How do you go about making your relatable selections? I don't know.
Meatballs. If you have a chance to take meatballs, take meatballs.
Yeah. Just every other food draft is a food draft.
Like the big boys are going to eat. Yeah.
Okay. Max.
You're still blaming food drafts. Yeah.
We haven't done a food draft in so long. You took feeling boobs, number one.
You said it like that. It's a bad thing to do.
Okay. Things that are difficult to explain.
First pick, the female anatomy. Oh, good pick.
Including boobs. Yeah.
Good pick. Sure.
Sure. Female anatomy.
That's a good pick. Would you have done that one? No.
We're at camp, so you just heard over the loudspeaker we'll probably cut that but we have uh announcements we actually woke up this morning cory was over the loudspeaker waking us up being like food is ready he said breakfast has been canceled due to lack of hustle okay pft that would have been a good quote movie quote all right yeah my first overall hmm well you're saying this hard no my first overall Hank my personal he said his first overall Hank shut the fuck up uh this is hard because I've got a lot of different ones on here I have no idea I'd hope you'd have a lot of different ones I have no idea how to rank them though that's my problem um go goofy style okay I'll go goofy style yeah you're you clenched okay uh first overall for me

i'm going to go with how money works oh good one how money works slash finance yeah no idea where

where does money come from and why is it valuable what i think it's because you say it's valuable

then i also agree that it's valuable so it's valuable how money works yep big cat

Thank you. I think it's because you say it's valuable.
Then I also agree that it's valuable. So it's valuable.
How money works. Yep.
Big cat. My pick.
The universe. So you're taking everything.
I guess the technical pick could be. I'm having a hard time explaining just what my pick is because it's so confusing.
The big Bang? Are you talking about the start? God? How big the universe is. It's so hard to explain.
I watched a video the other day where they zoomed out. That will fuck you up for a while.
Are you talking about watching the Grateful Dead at the sphere? No, kind of similar. But it was, yeah, it was like it showed it was someone sitting on a beach in California and then it zoomed out.
So that actually does sound like the sphere. Zoomed out and then just kept on zooming out.
And it's like, here's our Milky Way or here's our universe. Here's the Milky Way.
Then there's millions. I feel like they just make that shit up, though.
I don't know, dude. Yeah.
A new universe drops like every other week. And who is deciding that? But when you think about it, it does not hurt your brain.
space so it's like yeah kind of similar yeah it's like yeah i guess the infinite freaks me out yeah the thinking about something is infinite makes the infinite space of the universe well here's the thing is the universe is not infinite there's like an end to the universe and it's expanded it's getting bigger yeah but it's it's behind us there yeah light years and. Yeah, right? See, I think this is a good pick because we don't know.
The universe is finite, but it's getting bigger. Yeah.
And it's like me during football season. Yes.
And there might also be multiple other universes. Got it.
And in other universes. Milky Way is a galaxy.
And then that's in a what? Milky Way is a candy bar. In what? What is Milky Way in? My pantry.
You know, the hooky way is a galaxy And then that's in a what? Milky Way is a candy bar In what? What is Milky Way in? My pantry Milky Way is a galaxy that's in the universe But I think the Milky Way galaxy is part of a cluster of galaxies Yeah, in the And then there's another And that's all a cluster And there's another cluster And there's like This is just one of those things that If you don't think that there's other life somewhere you're crazy you're crazy okay did you have that on there nope oh so you got it down pat yeah i mean who knows what even exists this might not exist simulation um i will go with sight to a blind person okay you've been doing that recently have you ever tried to do that no have you i've been with blind people and tried to explain i've had moments where i've said things out loud and i'm like oh you don't have no idea what i'm talking about that's kind of mean yeah well you know i know it's like you were like. What were you explaining? You're like, oh, look at that.

Look at those boobs.

No, like we had a kid in our old office in Boston that was like, he could kind of see,

but not really.

And then I was explaining.

Blindmikeproject.net?

Yeah.

And I was telling him a story.

Shout out. Oh, you have no idea what I'm saying because you can't really see.

You're like, Mike, I totally dunked.

Missed it.

And then I will go with the taste of water.

Okay.

All right.

Good pick.

Yeah.

What does water taste like?

You tell me.

Explain it to me.

Tastes like life.

Tastes clean.

What's clean?

I don't know what the taste of water is.

Well, different water.

Honestly, the freakiest thing I ever saw a human do was jeff d low taking five different types of water from five different bottled water companies and then we wrote the names of them on the bottom of the cups and he went blindly and took five for five just on taste alone and then he did it again. That's insane's insane.
He is a freak. Yeah.
He is a freak. Okay.
My pick? Is it? Yeah. I don't know.
It's a good bet. I don't.
I can never explain. I mean, I don't know how it works.
Big airplanes, how they fly. I don't get it.
I'll never get it. Frost is all people say.
The i don't know how it works uh big airplanes how they fly i don't get it i'll never get it frost is all people say the pilots don't even know dude i saw uh there was a picture where like it was all the fuel that's in a 747 it's all in the wings and it's like so much fuel i don't get how they get that in the air yeah it takes like i don't know 45 minutes an hour sometimes just to put all that fuel into the plane fucking crazy same thing with with like aircraft carriers how they float yeah that's a pick you could take i could take that i did read a thread about that the other day and everyone was just like water displacement yeah okay what does that mean if the if the space of the ship moves out water that is heavier than that space the ship is. I don't know.
Don't understand. Never will understand that.
Just say magic. Yeah.
Planes fly. Yeah.
Magically. Is it my turn? Hank? Yes, it is.
Okay. My second pick, I'm going to take the rules of craps.
Okay. I've had the rules of craps explained to me probably 10 or 11 times in my life.
I've forgotten them 10 or 11 times in my life. I've played craps.
I think it was just because you were drunk. Yes.
Yes. I was definitely drunk.
But that's not the point, Hank. The point is it's hard to explain.
It is.

And it's harder to understand.

Yes.

Well, yeah.

It's always in the setting of being drunk.

It was that hard to explain.

They wouldn't put it in every casino in the world.

But the good pick. Fair counterpoint.

Fair counterpoint.

A lot of people play craps.

Yeah.

A lot of people do.

But they're all drunk.

And they all just had the rules explained to them that night.

And the next day, you ever go to a craps table in the morning? There's nobody there because nobody knows how to play in the morning. True.
True. Okay, Max.
He's probably going to have some awesome pick right now. I'm going to go with the NFL cap.
Yep, that's a good one. Good pick.
I think Max's key is that he also picks things that are less words. Yeah.
So the graphic always is bigger. Yeah.
Yeah. Meatballs, boobs.
It's simple. System plays.
I have a simple mind, simple brain, simple graphic. Okay.
Simple mind, simple brain. Going off of that, one word.
We've talked about it on this show. Are you going one word? Yep.
Cal i had that on my list hand up i actually don't know what calculus is nope no i just i just know it's the math that comes with the most expensive books that we've said it before i've never even met calculus no no one's even shown me a calculus goodwill hunting that's as close as i can later is about as close as i've gotten yes you like i know you could show me any you could show me a math formula i wouldn't be able to tell you if it's calculus or just two plus two yeah uh a squared plus b squared equals c squared that's why it was mx plus b yeah i'm just saying letters those are equations yeah they are Okay I feel like calculus is one of those things that smart people made up

They just yeah I'm just saying letters those are equations yeah they are okay I feel like calculus is one of those things that smart people made up they just invented a puzzle for themselves to teach other smart people so they could all feel smart yeah oh it's PFT sorry oh what it's not Hank's turn it's PFT's turn okay we got lost I was wrong I'm going to go with good pick Okay. We got lost.
I was wrong. We got lost in snake.
I was wrong. I'm going to go with.

Good pick.

This is very difficult for me.

What a catch is.

Yep.

In football.

Yep.

Okay.

No one knows.

We still don't know.

That is true.

They change it all the time.

That's a good pick.

That's a good pick.

I had a football one. I had a football one.

I had two football ones.

I want to do one of them.

Yeah, you know what?

I'll do one of them.

It's hard to explain why Matt LaFleur kicked a field goal down eight.

It is.

It's really hard to explain that.

No, it's easy to explain.

It's really fucking hard to explain that. It's very easy to explain that.
No, it's easy to explain. It's really fucking hard to explain that.

It's very easy to explain.

He just got dumb for a second.

He had a brain fart.

It sucks that I hate – I like Matt LaFleur as a guy

because obviously I hate the team he coaches for,

but we really have kind of tortured him.

Yeah, well, it's out of love because he's not going to make that mistake again.

If he makes that mistake again, then I don't –

I would actually respect it.

Yeah, if he was just like –

All right. have kind of tortured him yeah well it's out of love because he's he's not gonna make that mistake again if he makes that mistake again then i don't i would actually respect it yeah if he was just like if he was just like you know what i want to give the pmt guys a little more fodder yeah uh okay hank you have two picks i do have two picks i have three choices you have three choices and two picks you want to sound them out you want us do you want to you we'll do a group help you You want to say all three and we'll pick your best two? I got my fourth.
We can't do that. He's still competing with me.
Wait, how did your fourth... It's not over.
This is the coddling of Hank that I talk about. Yeah.
No, this is coddling. Yeah.
Yeah, we're coddling. Hey, I didn't ask you to do this.
Big Cat just said it. I was coddling.
Yeah, he was coddling you. And then he also will be like, Honestly, disrespectful.
Oh he also honestly disrespectful i could still lose you do do that like i could technically mathematically mathematically i could do you say you've clinched if you haven't mathematically clinched but if you're if you're if you're competing then why are you also coddling but if you do want to because i'm down um because you're you're you're so bad at this and it like but i could still beat you that's where it's like, which one is it? If I'm so bad at this, why are you worried? Fuck off, Hank. You suck at this and you're a little bitch all the time.
Not Rushmore season. All right.
I'm going to go with your dreams. Bad pick.
Your dreams. Bad pick.
No, I think you're mistaking that with like the lamest things. Yeah, yeah.
That was a bad pick. That was legit a bad pick.
Your dreams are very easy to to explain you're either my teeth fell out or i almost had sex yeah there's no one wants to hear you explain your dreams yeah that's it because if i'm about to have sex in my dream i'm definitely telling myself like wait this is definitely a dream uh and then i'm gonna go are you gonna back your pickup no because you guys are gonna say that no matter what, we're being honest. Your dreams are...
No one wants to hear you explain your dreams. Explain your dreams.
Why is one of the best movies of all time, Christopher Nolan, Inception, and basically the whole concept is how everyone has these crazy detailed dreams, and then you wake up the next day, and it's like you kind of remember some details, but you can't, and then you wake up and say, I had the plot of Inception would have been very. Exactly.
Or Interstellar. Yes.
I have my picks. You're just going to tear it down.
I don't give a sh. I don't care.
I'm not coddling you. I'm going to go with VAR.
VAR. VAR.
VAR. VAR.
VAR. VAR.
VAR. Also easy.
Also easy. It's basically just like challenging in football.
The camera. The camera.
That's not right. All right.
Honorable mentions. The camera gets it right.
You picked one of the most popular casino games in the history of the world. We haven't been playing since like the 1500s.
Hank, Hank, can you explain it to me? Yeah, it's a game on a table. There's rules.
I don't play craps, but it's like if it's hard to explain to everyone. Explain to me the rules of craps.
Explain to me your dreams. Okay.
So sometimes my teeth fall out in my dreams. And that's when you turn your brain off.
Explain to me VAR. Okay.
That's when the video does the robot thing and gets it right. What's the robot thing? How does the robot thing work? It's the eye in the sky.
Hawkeye technology. What is like the rule though? There's cameras.
What are they determining? 1984. There's cameras everywhere.
Got it. They pick everything up.
Good. Thanks.
That was really helpful.

I get it now.

You know exactly what VAR is.

What is it?

A camera that tells you if it's a goal or not.

How does it determine it?

Because it's a camera.

Is a camera like AI?

Like it's sentient?

It's a camera that can see on the field and know when the ball crossed the line.

Interesting.

Yeah, I'm confused still, but I guess it's really easy.

Well, you... AI, like it's sentient.
It's a camera that can see on the field and know when the ball crossed the line.

Interesting. Yeah, I'm confused

though, but I guess it's really easy.

You must be pretty dumb. Yeah, I

definitely am.

Piece of shit.

That was nice.

I liked that.

I enjoyed that. I like how Big Hat and I

just kind of tapped out and let you guys go at it.

Hank and I are locked in a battle for last place.

The gloves are off.

What are you typing?

Who are you typing to?

What are you typing?

He's Googling crap.

You're looking up crap rules because you don't know.

No, I'm looking up.

Big Cat asked. ITalking about VAR.
Oh, I mean, VAR is just... It's easy.
It's very easy. What are you looking up, Hank? Nothing.
Honorable mentions. Well, I know we still got picks.
I guess, BigHat and I, you just don't want us to pick? Oh, I forgot. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
Alright, my last pick. I gotta get a good one.
I screw up my last picks every time. Oh.
Internet jokes slash memes to non-internet people. Yeah, like when we were talking about AJ and Big and big justice the other day yes yes we realized very quickly this is a conversation that needs to stay between a man and screen and the internet yeah because like if you just go out of there's a lot of people a lot of people listening to this right now don't have twitter instagram they're not like just scrolling all day like we are and then when you have a conversation with them, it's, I had one where I explained, I just explained to people, uh, big Mike.
Yeah. So if you know who big Mike is, you know, big Mike is, uh, and people are like, what are you talking about? Um, I was like, yeah, no, it's a, it's a big thing.
Big Mike. Uh, okay.
Mine's actually kind of similar to that. Wait, Oh, what? You're not up is tapped out, by the way Anyone who's listening to part of my take for the first time This is when Hank taps out I'm thinking about getting real political with my last pick here Thanks, Hank Real political I liked your dream pick, I just had to shoot on it I think dreams are very easy to explain.
He's not giving me eye contact.

Okay, so for my last one, I'm going to take

wind.

Good pick.

Yeah, that's a good pick.

Break it down, Hank.

The earth.

Yeah, tell me about wind. We're spinning

really fast.

It always comes in one direction. Fuck fuck wind was a bad pick actually no i don't i think i think when it's not gonna look good when doesn't pop when when probably doesn't it doesn't pop max probably has something that's gonna pop yeah it's gonna pop big time i do have one that could pop but i'm gonna i'm gonna go more niche because it's because you're just running up the score on us? Yeah, basically.
So I'm just going to go with our job to someone who doesn't know Barstool. Good one.
I had good one. I mean, that's not going to look good on a graphic because it's literally only hard for us to explain.
And it's also people voting know what Barstool is. Correct.
Yeah. But you can just say...
I just say i just say like if someone if i don't want to have the conversation i just say i do like or not anymore but i'd say i still say it to get out of the conversation like just you know video production video and audio yeah you guys we say when they go yeah like there's a little you know like we just do try to explain what we're doing like right now this week to someone who like doesn't understand why would you be explaining that like why would they be like people ask what you do and then i'm like like a podcast and they say like oh as like a hobby yeah and i'm like no i actually make money they're like hank is just trying to for other people's picks to be bad yeah there's nothing more no i mean that's a bad pick on the ground video production it's like it's pretty easy to like, oh, yeah, just do video and audio production. I'm like, oh, yeah, you know, like, you know, the pizza guy.
Like, yeah. There's nothing more embarrassing.
The pizza guy. I just basically say, you know, Miss Peaches.
I work for her daddy. I'm Miss Peaches assistant.
Yeah. Like, oh, yeah, that makes sense.
Writing down podcaster on occupation on like a custom form dude coming into the united states is tough a custom form how about like a fucking elementary school form for your kid that's the worst i'm just like smut blogger slash pod yeah you're like i'm a podcaster like free lunch then yeah uh okay uh what honorable mentions hank a color is that what you were going to decide between Yeah

Actually that would have been an awesome pick

Than dreams

Yeah

I'm not going to let you switch

That might even be better than wind

Okay I know

I was going to say the afterlife

That was going to be my one that would pop

Death

That would pop

Yeah death

Death to a child

How babies get made to a child

I had

This one was a niche one

But trying to explain to someone

That you can't dunk from the free throw line

Thank you. How babies get made to a child.
I had this one was a niche one, but trying to explain to someone that you can't dunk from the free throw line while shooting a free throw. Impossible.
It's really hard to do. I had that you can't tackle the quarterback playing tackle football.
Yep. Rules of baseball.
Yeah, I had batting average. Yep.
New kickoff rules. Taxes.
Batting average is easy. Batting average is so easy.
Batting average is easy. Explain it to me.
What? If you bat 10 times and you get three hits. You understand fractions? In seven outs, you're batting 300.
Isn't there more to it than that? No. You're thinking of like.
If you get a walk, it doesn't count as a play. War.
War would be good. Yeah, you're thinking about like.
No, yeah. I'm going to pitch 10 balls to you.
And if you get three hits, your batting average would be 300. I'm thinking of slugging.
He'd have to get on base. Slugging is still pretty easy.
It's more like war. Hits.
Well, yeah, you'd have to get a hit and get on base. Slugging is three hits.
Oh, bases per at bat. Well, I'm glad I didn't take batting average.
Yeah, that would have been a horrible, horrible thing. That would have been one of the worst picks.
When Hank says, do not understand's how you know that you fucked up here's one that i was trying to i was thinking about and i was i think there's something there but it'd be hard to but it it's hard to explain to people that you're not triggered online because the minute you say you're not triggered online you're triggered online i'm not owned yeah right so it's by definition it's hard to explain it because people are like yeah you are you're responding to me right yeah i had taxes explaining emotions via text yeah emojis that's what they're no but like if someone would be like oh like you're mad and it's like i just sent like i sent a text message with no there's no emotions to the sentence trying to deciding that so that's specifically you what do you mean you give off multiple people have told you that you give off asshole vibes over text i just give short answers yes yeah you do i think that's you so this is like someone asks a question like yes and they'll be like why were you mad you you say yes period though no i don't yeah you do you think i'm adding extra extra grammar no that's true it's a good point I I did have the plot to interstellar no people just decide like but Hank just yeah you're you're a big okay yes okay is one that's a big time okay guy hey we're going to do this okay but you could be like yeah that's fine yeah or like that's it if you like say a sentence no this is getting it can't can't. No, it's not.
If I said to you, if you said to me, the plan today is we're going to do this, I'd just write back, okay. That does feel a different vibe.
That sounds good. Okay is different.
That sounds great. We're right.
We could pull every single person at this company and everyone would be like, yeah, I don't know if Hank likes me over text. Replying just okay definitely gives a vibe of like, okay, fine.
You know what, Hank? Okay, fine. Do you hear how I said it? But like that's you're deciding that.
Watch. All right, tell me the plan today.
You're going to do the yak, then we're going to draft teams for Camp Barstool, then we're going to do the first field day stream activity for Mountain Dew. Okay.
Yeah, if you said it like that. That's how you say it.
Or say it again. Say it again.
We're going to do the yak. We're going to draft teams.
We're going to do the- That sounds great, exclamation point. Yeah.
That would be that gear sarcastic. Fuck off.
Hank, you seem like the kind of guy that would put the dot dot like two periods after. Okay.
Okay. Dot dot.
You're basically rolling your eyes. It's texting as a means to an end.
All right. Other honorable mentions.
I had a lot of honorable mentions. I probably should have taken.
I had trying to explain that you went to the strip club, but you didn't get a lap dance or go to the back room. You just went there with the guys.
Why other people did. Why you liked an Instagram post.
Well, that one's pretty easy. LeBron.
Big tits. Yeah.
Artificial intelligence. Yep.
Black holes that you're not paranoid. they're just out to get you very hard thing to explain really really hard thing to explain to people love yeah the number zero yep uh what about that the cia is behind a lot of shit yeah that's you just said it though yeah but like what i just said I said a lot of shit It's more than that

I actually think the CIA Is behind so much shit That they're behind the idea Right That the CIA Is behind everything So now you think the CIA Is super powerful Right That the Bears have never had A 4,000 yard passer In over 100 years of playing You know Jason Campbell Almost had that Yeah Cutler was close And he got hurt I almost said Ben Mince yeah oh that's a good one magnets yeah how do they work yeah Rico Bosco would be another one I had both of them on hard to explain those are the two those are the two Barstool employees I had on my list um how Pete Carroll didn't run with Marshawn on the one yard line tough to that's very hard to's very hard to explain. Very hard to explain.
Good pick there. The new kickoff rules.
Yep. You said that like four times.
Oh, man. You have.
Am I wrong? Do you want to explain them? No, I'm saying you clearly don't understand them. What if after you clinched Big Cat, we just let them go mono-y mono? Yes, yes.
I think that would be. If I clinched, they would go mono-y mono.
do hell in the cell right put him in an actual cell in a gulag it's like a post scene yep for for every part of my take in the fall they should have to pick eight yes oh that would be fun oh but i don't know if hank can street you can't stretch hank is hank is like a shitty middle reliever he can maybe give you one and two-thirds innings if you make him stretch out to five innings no way although color i can still beat you yeah you can color you should have picked color color was a great pick color was actually color could have been one one Yeah. I'm sure.
Yeah. I always...
My honorable mentions are usually better than my picks. Yeah.
The way she goes. Okay.
Any others? Any other honorable mentions? Time zones. Time zones.
China only having one time zone is crazy. That is wild.
I close my mind every time I see it. Yep.
They have one time zone, Max. Why doesn't the world just have one time zone? Can you answer me that? They only have one time zone is crazy that is why it blows my mind every time i see it yep they have one time zone max why why doesn't the world just have one max can you answer me that they only have one time zone because then people would be like sleeping it yeah but that it's just like season so you could say like noon here in the united states is midnight in hong kong that sounds like that sucks they just know that noon is nighttime that sounds terrible it's just one clock for everybody max i'm looking at the like a globe of time zones yeah china has one time zone because 97 of china all lives like on the east side got it but there's people who live all the way out there yeah they get screwed to bet they're just absolutely screwed by the time zones.
Free Tibet. Russia has 11.
How does Russia have 11 and China has one? Well, China has more, but they just said we only have one. Okay.
They only acknowledge one. They only acknowledge one.
It's like if you built an entire country out of Arizona. Yeah.
I thought this was one of those like Atlanta is closer to, you know. The other weird one that I saw the other day is Spain is the same time zone, I think, as like Germany or something.
There's something weird with that where they're like flopped. There's just weird time zones.
I think Spain in World War II, the Spanish government wanted to align closer to Germany. They took their time zone.
Yeah. So Spain is like, you know, you know where Spain is on a map.

It's right underneath France.

Yeah.

And they have different time zones.

That's a try hard move on Spain's part.

It's a cuck move.

Yeah.

It's like, hey guys, look at us.

You're taking another man's time zone.

Exactly.

Yeah.

That's ridiculous.

Okay.

Good job, guys.

Good Mount Rushmore.

Good Mount Rushmore.

Good vibes all around.

It's one of those things I love whenever we have a big interview because we're about to get to kill williams and maybe some new fans and they listen to that yep and they're like i had a friend uh text me he was listening to the mount rushmore of cheese uh and with his wife in the car wait mount rushmore yellow yellow uh he's making us listen to part of my take where they're arguing over yellow foods and whether certain foods are yellow or gold. Pure gold is a rich orange yellow color.
It's been going on for 15 minutes. The freshest pasta is always yellow.
It's still going. That's a great one.
That is good. I just got a text from a random number hello are you lisa i think i have to be lisa no this is this is a scam every one of those yes yeah it's lisa i like how you know it's a scam and you're you're still i'm gonna scam them right back it's lisa all right uh pft let's do that and then we'll get to caleb williams before we Before we get to Caleb Williams, brought to you by our great friends over at Mountain Dew.
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Mountain Dew is the best. When we're outside, we're going to be tossing a Frisbee around.

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Grab an ice-cold Mountain Dew wherever refreshing beverages are sold and do the do. And now, here is Chicago Bears quarterback, Caleb Williams.
Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very, very special guest. It is QB1 of the Chicago Bears, Caleb Williams, Heisman Trophy winner.
First of all, Caleb, thank you for joining us. I was very close to saying savior of the franchise, but I'm not going to put that on you uh how's camp going let's start with that camp is camp is good uh the defense has been the defense has been challenging me uh throughout camp OTAs all of that so um it's been great uh you know offense we've been we've been starting to pick it up um and it's been fun okay how's it been having the uh the hard knocks cameras around yeah you don't really notice them they do it they do a pretty good job um other than the times when you know you're having you're having talks you're like oh I gotta yeah mic above my head but other than that um you know it's they've been great did you watch uh week one of hard knocks I watched the.
I haven't gotten back to it. I watched the – heard the Bulls introduction was happening, so I went and watched that part.
And then one of the nights I had to go to sleep. There were some good slow-mo shots of the spirals.
Yeah. That's what we tuned in for.
We tuned in for the sprinklers going on. We tuned in for the spirals.
Yeah. They might have gotten mad at me, or not mad at me.
They made fun of me because I got triggered because I thought they weren't showing enough touchdown passes. Okay.
So I was defending you. I was like, let's get some more highlights going.
Yeah, hopefully this, I think the next episode comes out in a few days. Yeah.
Hopefully in the next episode, we got a few more spirals and touchdowns in there. Yeah.
So, I mean, you're obviously a very confident guy. guy has the transition obviously we haven't started the regular season but the transition to the NFL been what you kind of expected yeah I mean I knew it was gonna be challenging I knew it was a offensive wise I knew it was a new language for me a new you know way of doing things and so um just understanding my situation understanding that um the guys are you know they to push me, coaches, the players.
And then they're also going to be gracious with me, learn that throughout this process. And so now just picking up the speed, you know, getting better with things, processing things a lot faster, checks, alerts, all of that.
So it's been great. It's been fun.
It's been challenging. but the transition-wise, I've had to move a couple times whether it was transfer from Oklahoma to USC or all of that stuff and so yeah it's been it's been it's been a normal transition.
I feel like people kind of memory hold the whole Oklahoma part of your career because you know you were obviously the number one pick for two years which that's tough because people are going to poke holes in everything. But you went to Oklahoma.
You weren't the starter. And then you won the starting job halfway through the year.
And everything I've read, it was like the minute you showed up, there was a story about how at 6 a.m. they wouldn't let freshmen lift.
But you basically forced your way in there. Yeah.
Has that just been your mindset from the beginning?, even if they don't let me come in here, I'm going to go compete. Yeah.
I would say my mindset has always been, you know, compete ever since I started, you know, ever since I really switched to the position of quarterback around 10 years old. I understood that I may have started later than most QBs at that time because a lot of QBs in my class have been QBs for their whole life and so I switched to that and I just was competing versus people I mean somebody that I was competing versus and training just working out working hard and not actually like QB training was like Blake Korn and he's unbelievable like his work ethic and all of that is unbelievable so you know, just getting in there, competing versus people that are older than me, bigger, faster, stronger.
And then, you know, when I get to those positions that I've been in with Oklahoma and high school, all those other positions that I've been in, just go out there, compete, work my tail off and get after it. Yeah.
I mean, I want to bring up because winning the job as a freshman

with a starter in place, that's dog mentality.

But then you go to USC and everyone's like, oh, LA, soft.

There's a whole perception there.

But I just want to remind people.

I'm an East Coast kid.

Yeah, and you won that starting job as a freshman.

Yeah, so the story about you deciding I'm going to be a quarterback now.

You're playing defense, right? Yeah, so I was playing running back and linebacker. A little bit of safety.
And then we lost a game, lost the FBU game, which is, I think, do you all know what FBU is? No. So it's basically like an all-star team from each region.
Okay. And state and things like that.
So for us, they had a couple different because DMV, we kind of bunch everybody together. So, so it was, it was a FBU, Maryland national team, team.
And we went down, we were whooping up on a bunch of teams. We lost to actually Harrison Bailey.
I think he just left UNLV. He's a quarterback there.
But we lost to him and I didn't like the way we were playing. We were playing kind of ball with the the the the coach and the QB on our team and I switched and my kind of thing was spread the ball around everybody go win games and and and you know be a big big be a big reason why so you're 10 years old and you decide I'm going to be a quarterback now yeah and that was that a complete lifestyle change for you um it was more of I was probably because I Because I went more into like I already decided what I'm going to do, and then my dad and godfather and all those people kind of put together a plan from training to eating to when I wake up and things like that.
That's incredible. So you're 10 years old and you're like, this is my plan to be in the NFL did the i had a plan to be in the nba when i was 10 years old didn't really work out like do you ever think back like we set ourselves to do something at 10 years old and now we're here that's nuts yeah it's nuts i do think about it um and i don't i don't know if i'm going to classify it as nuts in a way like Like, it's – I don't really know the exact word, but, you know, I expected myself to be here, but it is crazy.
I wake up every day and I'm like, I'm here. It's got to feel like a superpower that you were able – because, like, we were joking about it.
There was a draft story when the draft happened. Like, someone – there was a story about some kid wrote down when he was, like, eight, I'm going to be in the NFL draft.
And we were joking, like, every eight-year-old writes that. I had the same thing.
Yeah, I started that every day. But there's a story about some kid wrote down when he was like eight i'm gonna be in the nfl draft and we were joking like every eight-year-old writes i had the same like yeah there's that every day but there's only a few guys that get drafted so to see that and have that plan at what point in in that plan like what age were you like okay this plan is actually like this is happening it's probably it was probably after i started training and getting after probably two years after after I started training is when I was like, okay, this is actually, you know, it's going to happen, can happen.
You know, that's when I started getting to, what was that? It was probably seventh grade and then I hit eighth grade. So around ninth grade is when I was like, this can really happen because I started getting out there playing with guys that were older than me.
All the training was kind of, you know, working and things like that. So, kept all that going and then starting to get some offers.
Played well first year of high school and then the offers and everything started climbing. Confidence kept rising and growing because of the work that I kept putting in and was putting in before high school and things like that.
Yeah, I read a story about about when you were 16 you broke your offensive coordinator's wedding ring i would imagine that was also a moment that you were like oh shit i got a cannon yeah so he um he he his wife always told him don't don't you know catch footballs with the wedding wedding ring on wedding band and uh he was he, he didn't listen. And then one day his hands

started bleeding. He looks at it and he was trying to figure out what happened.
And then

I realized that it was cracked a little bit and it's pinching his skin.

I love that. Homewrecker.

Yeah. She's like, what the hell is this? Homewrecker.

Yes.

I read that you ate the same meal every day for like four years.

Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. It's eggs, eggs with ham in it.
And then I'd have a insure my vitamins. And how old were you when you started doing this? 10.
So that's when everything started. So not buffalo wings and ice cream.
Not buffalo wings and ice cream. What about candy? You're a candy guy? I love candy, actually.
Everyone has to have a vice, right? Yeah, that's my that's my vice. Not big into all the other stuff um or do any of that stuff and so candy was my candy was my getaway yeah that and video games video i like that yeah i'm a big food guy myself and if i uh if i had seen coach riley's brisket before i went to oklahoma i would never have gone that thing is actually pretty good though it was it was pretty good it was pretty good.
You're just saying that because he's your coach. No, no, no, no.
No, we give Coach Riley some shit. Yeah.
But it was actually pretty good. It was a bad picture.
But that wasn't one we ate. We ate another one that he cooked, and it looked good.
He violated rule number one of the internet, which is don't post a picture of your meat. Yeah, ever.
Never put your meat online. Ever.
People are going to roast it. Don't put your meat online.
It's going to be a problem. Yeah, number one rule, don't put your meat online.
So your transfer from Oklahoma to USC, I have a very specific question that is going to make me feel like a fool. I went to Wisconsin.
Okay. Yeah, the Wisconsin story of rumors and stuff.
Was there any truth to it ever? so my best friend and his dad so what dean ingram was at wisconsin right and and his dad was a coach um and so we reached out to them we were trying to just you know get the vibe and and and and see what was going on how it was up there whatever or over there um and all of that um and and you know somehow it caught it caught wind that i was you know in contact with them which i'm i'm i'm consistently in contact with with those two um because i've grown up with them so um but somehow it caught wind and and and it blew up on instagram but it wasn't like it wasn't too huge it was never really it was never too yeah it wasn't it wasn't too any like Badger fans like DMing you stuff? Yeah, there were a lot of Badger fans. Any like 37 year olds DMing a 20 year old being like, hey, we could sell a lot of t-shirts? Probably.
Yeah, I did that. It was pretty embarrassing for me, especially because in my heart of hearts, I was like, he's never going to go to Wisconsin, but I still shot off a couple of DMs being like, dude, we could sell some t-shirts yeah yeah no it uh i felt a little short yeah it felt a little short uh wasn't i don't think it was gonna happen in the end but uh um much respect to the badger fans okay okay yeah you tried yeah i tried i tried my best and i did feel i just want to say it's the best thing to do for the record i felt weird dming you out of the blue being like hey man you should come to wisconsin we could sell like over a hundred t-shirts it was a low point but i was trying anything that's all right but now you're here so now we're here yeah so so i'm excited the um do you i've seen your quotes but you you're basically like listen the history the past

is the past i'm here to be myself has anyone explained to you the history of chicago bears quarterbacks i just know that there's never been or 4 000 and a 30 plus touchdown pass yeah things like that it's an insult meme that goes around yeah so i'm always see the the edits of like all 31 yeah and then there's

n-a yeah so i think you got to change that yeah we're ready to do it we'll try and change that we got the guys to do it i saw when you had the quote like my job is to rewrite history and people are like oh he's so cocky i was like no it it actually shouldn't be that hard that is my job They brought me here for reasons.

Yeah.

Because if they had people like Aaron Rodgers. actually shouldn't be that hard that is my job they brought me here for reasons yeah um because

if they had people like Aaron Rodgers or anything like that I mean yeah it wouldn't be the it wouldn't be well not him he's well yeah sorry he's with the Jets now so it doesn't really yeah we don't care anymore yeah you're a big uh you had people you know like that and and a history in a lineage yeah of of QBs that were ripping it up in this later stage of of of the NFL where you know, like that in a history and a lineage of QBs that were ripping it up in this later stage of the NFL where, you know, they were thrown at 30 times a game, then, you know, that would be the case. But it hasn't been the case.
And, you know, they obviously bring people in like Keenan and DJ and myself and, you know, all the offensive linemen, D-line people to change history. Do you ever, like, what's the line between cocky and confidence? Because I feel like you get accused of being cocky when it's everything I've read, all the stories, it's like, no, he's just supremely confident in himself, which why wouldn't you want a guy who's confident in himself? Yeah, I think the difference is knowing yourself.
I also think the difference is it's the people around you around you, um, you know, and how hard you work. Um, I think those are the three, three biggest things.
Um, and I think the biggest part is, is the people around you. Um, and, and the second one is probably how hard you work.
Um, and I say that one first, because the people around you, um, you got to have the right people around you to tell you when it's time to, all right, like, you know, you're pushing a little bit. You're doing this and that.
Like, you know, you have people around you as no people, as they say, and not yes men and yes women. So having people around me like that and then getting after it.
I'm always, you know, hard work always builds confidence and hard work always pays off. It always, always you know at the end of it gives you a

yeah a check mark yeah i'm i'm glad that you're post-draft because leading up to the draft it

felt like that that took a long time to get there there were all you know a lot of bullshit out

there there was a lot of a lot of bullshit the anonymous scouts you had one scout or i think

it was a gm compared you to prince but like that's the greatest when we saw it i don't get that one just because I,

yeah,

he picked the worst,

like,

yeah,

he picked the worst,

like,

yeah,

he picked the worst,

like,

yeah,

he picked the worst,

like,

yeah,

he picked the worst,

like,

yeah,

he picked the worst,

like,

yeah,

he picked the worst,

like,

yeah,

he picked the worst,

like,

yeah,

he picked the worst,

like,

yeah,

he picked the worst,

like,

yeah,

he picked the worst,

like,

yeah,

he picked the worst,

like,

yeah,

he picked the worst,

like,

yeah, he picked the worst, like, yeah, he picked the worst. I was like, wait, he's going to be the prince of quarterbacks? Sign me up.
Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I actually saw that.
Yeah. I actually think I saw you say it popped up on my Explore page or something.
Yeah, I didn't – I mean, it was a lot of bullshit. Yeah, I've been defending you even before.
It's the nicest thing that you can say. I didn't mind being compared to Prince because he's.
It's a great compliment. You're going to change your name to just the Lombardi trophy at some point.
If someone said we were the Prince of podcasters, I'd be like, awesome. Yeah.
The revolution. So was there ever a moment though, where the stories were getting, I mean, at one point it was like Caleb Williams wants to own the bears.
Yeah. I mean, I, and I trolled a little bit.
bit. I mean, I was bored.
I had so much free time. I was just chilling in my room or working out.
And so it was just like, I'm going to step in every once in a while and just kind of say a few fun things. Mix it up a little bit.
You should mix it up. You had one of our coworkers.
You made them change their profile picture. Oh, his name Jack? Yeah, Jack.
You just replied to picture is crazy and then he changed it the inner i didn't do that it was a kill shot yeah the interaction it was the well he always he always um i've actually since high school he's he's he's responded to a couple of my stuff so i was i was joking with him yeah yeah he's a big football fan the pink cell phone at uh you were watching juju play i actually do not i think my cell phone's over there is it still pink no i actually. The pink cell phone at, you were watching Juju play.
I actually do not.

I think my cell phone's over there.

Is it still pink?

No, I actually broke my pink cell phone on accident.

So what are we doing?

I have to get a new one, actually.

Right now it's black.

I'm trying to get a new pink one.

The phone was pink, though.

Everything else was not pink.

Wait, the case was pink or the phone was pink?

The phone is pink.

Oh, that's actually cool.

That seems like a custom thing.

It's a pink iPhone.

Hey, listen, are you getting another one?

I'm trying to.

All right, then I will, too.

I don't apologize yeah no i didn't apologize yeah you're holding the pink phone and then jack mcguire jack max cfb says pink phone is crazy not not going to lie. Yeah, and I said your profile, or your profile PFP is crazy.
They changed it. And they changed it.
They changed it. Yeah, I did see that.
I saw that. Thank you for your service.
Yes. But yeah, the stories before the draft, it was just like every week it was like.
It was something new. How can we poke holes in Caleb Williams is seemingly what was put out there.
There were rumors like you didn't want to go to Chicago at some point. But was there a team going into that last season that if they had the number one pick overall, you decided that you didn't want to be in that situation? I don't know.
I think within the NFL, I think they've done a good job, you know, of whether it's the owners and the coaches and the things like that um i wasn't i wasn't against going home as people said also throughout the process it was just it was gonna be well it'd be it'd be like uh katie you know katie didn't really want to go home and it wasn't because necessarily the the team or anything like that was more of the like everybody in my family is right there and you know you buy a lot of tickets to a game family or it's the family that's not family that i've known for so long or been around or haven't known or the new family that everybody talks about so it was more or less um having to deal with all of that and make it a huge distraction for me and you know take away from the thing that i enjoy doing i love doing every single day yeah i would have been happy with that i'm a i'm a commander's fan you? I'm from Northern Virginia myself. They've been doing a great job.
Yeah, they've been doing a great job recently. I think it worked out well.
I think you've got a great home here. I think Jaden's going to be a great quarterback too.
So I told Big Cat, it's cool with me if you guys win six Super Bowls. I'll take three.
I'm not going to be greedy. He's very nice of him.
I hope it works out for both of us and we all get to look back on this. Three.
Yeah, things turned out well for you. So now that you're playing football, you mentioned all the guys that you have to throw the ball to.
Yeah. There's just one ball.
It's just one ball. It's just one ball.
Always is. So you've got three excellent receivers.
Yep. And Cole Komet.
And Cole Komet. And DeAndre Swift.
Yep. And Gerald Everett.
How are you going to keep them all happy? Gerald Everett's a beast. You're going to keep them all happy with just one ball? Yeah.
yeah, yeah. I wouldn't say it's easy.
It's obviously, you know, it's going to be the fun part about it. Within the coaches and us scheming it up, and with us also understanding early in the games and things like that, get your guys the ball, keep them engaged, and then when it's time to go win games, all these guys also understand when it's time to go win games, it's time to go win games know um so which that means out of halftime and things like that um it's it's it's you know who gets the ball go make plays let's go win this game um but early in the game it's important to one scheme up and then two you know figure out what the defense is doing what they're going to be doing for the game and then three um you know where what points can you get your guys the ball and easy touches yeah just blame coach just be like sorry dj coach told me well i'd assume all those guys too uh none of them ever been like i'm not open right now they all know they're always like they're open which is i mean you want that's what you want yeah you want guys just like throw me the ball i'm open um but we also have to have an understanding of like you know i have reads i have progressions i have you know i saw this i didn't like how you ran this um we didn't we didn't agree on the same page we weren't you know i was hesitant on your route so i moved on you know things like that but also um constant and open communication with the guys is also important um so that we can always be on the same page and keep growing yeah so um i don't you you haven't signed up for this but i've signed myself up myself up for it.
I'm a Caleb Williams protector online. I appreciate that.
And I'm just wondering if there's anything that I need to – like any, you know, standard lines. Like people do the fingernails.
Like who cares? Like you can't – Yeah, I'm going to do it this year. Yeah.
Oh, you are? Yeah, I just haven't done it for – I try to do it for games. All of like, you know, regular regular season, things like that, playoffs.
Also, because I've been doing it for so long now, I'm trying to, like, make sure I can do it for games because I run out of ideas. So what should I say to people? Just being like, mind your own business? I mean – Should I do it for games? I mean, I think Prince paid in his nails, right? Yeah.
Yeah. That's facts.
Okay. Are you going to put the F word on there? I will not be doing that.

Roger Goodell would have some things to say.

Yeah, he'd have some things to say.

I'm trying to keep good-spirited things on my nose.

But it fires you up, right?

It does fire me up.

All right, so that's the answer I'm going to say.

It fires you up.

I can use other stuff that will fire me up.

Okay, all right.

There's other things.

Code words.

Maybe some acronyms.

Maybe SMDGB.

Yeah, I like that. I don't know what that means i just i mean i don't know came up with those letters yeah yeah what about uh the people always like oh well he cried after a loss like dude guys can't cry and also yeah i mean care like i want my i mean if i want to if i if when we win the super bowl you know at some point i'm hoping that we have multiple people out there crying tears of joy so when i lose I know how important it is that these games that we win the Super Bowl, you know, at some point, I'm hoping that we have multiple people out there crying tears of joy.
So when I lose, I know how important it is that these games that we win and lose. So trying to win every game is what we go out there to do.
That's why we're here now. That's why we have practice throughout the week.
So, you know, teardrop, you know, it's also, you know, there's a time and a place for it. But, you know, if a teardrops, I mean, it's how much I care for winning and losing.
Right, it means that you care. I would much rather someone have that emotion than laughing.
No emotion. Or laughing.
Yeah, or like just being like, I don't care. I'm just getting paid.
Yeah. With the Super Bowl thing, this is very important.
Are you planning on wearing a visor? This is very important. Are you going to be wearing a visor in your face mask? If you take anything away from this interview, this is the most important part.

Yeah, I don't switch.

I wouldn't need a switch unless it was like rainy.

Okay.

All right. Good.

Good.

It'll be indoors.

No quarterback with a visor has ever won a Super Bowl.

Oh, that's sick.

I didn't know if you knew that.

Also, long hair.

I don't know how long you're going to get your hair.

Yeah, it's going to be long.

How long?

It'll be pretty long.

However long it's going to grow.

Let's cut it right where the Super Bowl winning is.

That's the length. That's why I've never won a Super Bowl These are the analytics that we go through What about the people with short hair though? They've won a lot of Super Bowls Think about Tom Brady What about the ones that lost? I think Tom Brady lost his one Super Bowl When he had long hair Same with Big Ben had a visor, too, in the Super Bowl that he lost.
Yeah. These are really important things.
Got it. Yeah.
Yeah. You think you know football.
We know football. I won't think twice about it, though.
Yeah? Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're just going to go out there and run the score up. Okay.
I respect that. I like that.
What about the Notre Dame game? People love talking about the Notre Dame game. People love talking about it.
It's crazy. One game? My one tough game in three years.
It's all right. I mean, it happens.
I'll have a tough game in hopefully my long career in the NFL. And it's going to happen.
It's how you come back and the confidence and hard work that you put in to come back and recoup and go out there and go win the next game. I like that.
I have my marching orders. I'm defending you online.
Now, people who get maybe a little too excited should we should we just like try to take it one game at a time you can take it you can take it one game at a time you can you can have at it you do your thing um whatever whatever floats your boat okay just be you yeah just be you yeah just be you because yeah there was someone said i saw this one guy say uh you know what i'm done being mature i tried for an hour and it sucks caleb williams is a guy i need to get out of my own head he's gonna be so fucking good i'm gonna be so fucking happy and life is gonna be amazing suck my dick from the back haters i might have said that after an hour of your preseason game all right i won't retweet it i won't like anything but you can like it now that's what's great about about There's no likes. There are hidden likes.
Yeah, hidden likes. How crazy are you going with the likes these days? Not crazy.
No? No, not crazy. Yeah.
I'm still fearful that they're going to change it back. Yeah, I am too.
So I don't really go into liking stuff. He's going to flip it on, and we're all just going to be standing there with our clothes off.
Like, what the hell just happened? I got some stuff I got to clean up. Got to go back into the history here.
Yeah. I read that you drink four ginger beers a day.
I back down from that diet-wise and things like that. It's a lot of sugar in them.
That's a lot of ginger beer. Yeah.
I'm actually trying to create my own ginger beer with not as much sugar. Oh.
Because I love it so much, and I want to be able to drink it. It's so good.
And it's always, and I actually learned. I got to start drinking it.
Damn. I'm going to have to just do everything.
It's pretty good. Have you tried it? No, I've had ginger beer before.
It's fantastic. You got to try the right now.
I'll get to y'all on what it's going to be. I like that.
You got to try Fever Tree. That's the best one right now.
And then when yours comes out, that will be the best one. Yeah, we're going to blow that up.
And it's going to be the I like that. But you got to try Fever Tree.
That's the best one right now. Okay, okay.
And then when yours comes out, that will be the best one.

Yeah, we're going to blow that up and it's going to be the best.

Yeah. My grandfather used to drink old-time ginger beer.

Really?

When I was growing up.

And so I would have some.

I don't know what that is.

I liked it.

It was powerful.

It had that spice to it.

Yeah.

Old and spicy.

And I feel like kids don't drink ginger beer anymore.

Yeah.

You might bring ginger beer back.

Also, it's good for your stomach and all.

It has a bunch of awesome benefits from it, but it is a little bit of sugar.

So I back down from it.

All right. ginger beer anymore.
You might bring ginger beer back. It's so good for you though.
Also, it's good for your stomach and all, like it's a bunch, it has a bunch of, a bunch of awesome benefits from it, but it is, you know, a little bit of sugar. So I'm back down from it.
I'm back down from it. We'll bring it back.
You're doing a work with a foundation that you just started, right? Caleb Cares. Caleb Cares.
Where does Caleb Cares? Yeah. So Caleb Cares is like a, it's an anti-bullying, um, and mental health, um, you know, nonprofit that we're, we try and try and do our best with anything that we can do.
And a lot of times it's with Boys and Girls Clubs that we try and help out with and reach out and show up in person. We've done it in L.A., D.C., now here in Chicago, trying to grow it.
I want it to be a huge thing globally and be able to use, you know, my platform and anything that I can do to help in those ways. And it's just trying to provide a good spokesperson, a good person to be able to, you know, help and reach out if, you know, people need to reach out to Caleb Cares and, you know, get help or whatever the case may be, or just talk to somebody and things like that.

We're trying our best to do that. We'd love to help in any way that you ever need it.

Awesome.

Remember that show?

I forget what channel it was on where there would be a bully

and then they would invite the bully out to do something

and there would be an MMA fighter that would wait in the ring?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, we don't do it like that.

We don't beat up bullies?

Yeah, we don't beat up bullies.

But for people that grades or they get in trouble or whatever the case may be, just trying to shed, you know, some good light on what, you know, things should be and how they should be. And we've had so far pretty awesome success through that, through the process that we've been through and, you know, showing up, being in person um going to the the boys and girls clubs um you know providing gifts and presents for for certain

things um you know we've we've we call it the Caleb Cares Hero Award um for people that change

their you know their attitude their mindset they're all of that and they you know the the

teachers or the helpers or TAs are showing um or they you know they tell us about you know their

progress and things like that and then they get an award and they get some some gifts or they get

Thank you. the teachers or the helpers or TAs are showing, or they tell us about their progress and things like that, and then they get an award and they get some gifts or they get some beats or whatever it's been in the past.
That's awesome. I mean, we can't beat up.
You don't beat up bullies. No.
We can't beat up bullies. But if you ever get to a point where you need us to ratio a bully, we could do that online.
We could drop a quick ratio on someone. If we need to make a bully, change his profile pic.
Yeah, right. Sounds good.
We get him. Yeah, we pick yeah right sounds good yeah that's another one i wanted to bring up one story that i loved and like says what you are as a teammate and uh you know the media goes with all these different stories like i said i think two years being the number one pick yeah everyone's gonna poke holes yeah but when you won the heisman you brought your entire offensive line and you demanded that they would come was there any pushback when they when you're like I'm not going if I don't bring my guys well there was pushback I said I want to invite them and then there was pushback and then I said I'm not going unless and that's awesome and then it ended up happening yeah and then I mean we end up having a great we hadn't it was it was like I'll never forget that that that night um because we all went and sat around we ended up getting getting a suite after you win.
You get a suite after you win the Heisman. And so we ended up going up to the suite, and we just – I mean, we had chicken fingers, pizza.
I mean, the big man – Just hanging with the dudes. Yeah, the big man had beers and drinks and stuff like that.
And we were just – I mean, we were having a blast just sitting around a round table and just music, laughing, joking, thinking about all the good times and having stories and stuff like that and just enjoying each other.

I love that because, you know, there's – I mean, that's just –

especially in a moment because I was reading the story that, like,

all your offensive linemen being like,

we don't know when we're going to be all together again.

And we're just going to enjoy this moment together,

hanging out, getting room service.

Like, that's old school fun.

Yeah.

So, yeah, I love that story.

That's a great teammate. So I just wanted to highlight that story.
How do you fly back with the Heisman trophy? Did you just bring it on? Did you have a private plane? So USC provided the private plane for that. And then, you know, we hopped on the private and it was sitting pretty in the private plane.
I love it. So I know that you've received, I read that you've received a lot of media training.
So you're ready to deal with the media that tries to get you to say stuff. Yeah.
I don't know if they prepared you for this question. All right.
If there was a button, if you had a button and if you pushed it, one Bears fan would die.

But you would win 10 Super Bowls.

Do you press the button?

You can kill me.

You don't know which Bears fan is going to die.

One, just one.

10 Super Bowls?

10 Super Bowls.

I feel like most Bears fans would be like, I'll throw my name in the hat. I'd press the button for you.

You think they'd sacrifice?

Yeah. Wow.
That's love. It in the hat.
I'd press the button for you. You mean they sacrifice? Yeah.

Wow.

That's love.

It is love.

So do you press the button?

I'll take it.

I'll take it.

I'm saying I'll take it, Caleb.

You can kill me right now.

You're pressing the button many times.

Yeah, you're getting 30 Super Bowls.

Yeah.

Smashing it.

I like that.

I would press the button.

10 Super Bowls.

That's a lot of Super Bowls.

Yeah, that's great.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

I know we've got to wrap up, and we appreciate your time.

I have one last question, Roback question.

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So I'm a big college football fan as well, and I one very stupid question utah can you tell the difference when it goes from uh day to night there because i have a theory that if utah like you tell me utah's playing a game you just tell me what time they're playing because if it's nighttime i'm gonna bet on utah if it's daytime take the other team and you had that one game where we started started in day sudden day ended at night and you guys were awesome in the first two of them yeah and it was just like yeah two so can you feel the difference in that crowd it's only and there's always smoke in the crowd that that crowd was actually an awesome crowd love the love the stadium love all of that love the crowd um but man I don't even they're a tough football team i mean i don't know how we didn't win any of them it was it got dark yeah i mean that's literally all it was it was 12 after after after dark yeah it was it was tough yeah is it weird now that you're in big 10 country and your usc is going to come play yeah it's weird it's gonna be cool though yeah it's gonna be cool hopefully going to be cool. Hopefully I can try and get to that first game.
If not, they'll be around here, hopefully. Yeah.
Well, Caleb, thank you so much. No, awesome.
Appreciate you. I wanted to say I love you, but that would be weird because we just met.
No, it's all good. All right, I love you.
Much love. I love you.
All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But, no, seriously, thanks so much. And we're excited for this season.
Yeah, same here. And let us know if we can ever ratio someone for Caleb Klerz.
Yeah, we'll do it. We're ready to go.
Appreciate it. Appreciate it.
Thanks for having me. Much love and the Bears.
Yeah. Love it.
Oh, yeah. Caleb Williams is brought to you by Mountain Dew.
We got our Mountain Dew fridge right here. Stocked.
We got plenty stocked. We got all the flavors out on the table.
Hank, what flavor are you drinking there? I'm drinking the OG. Just regular.
Regular Mountain Dew. OG Mountain Dew.
Big Cat's got an OG Mountain Dew. I love the OG Mountain Dew.
Actually, can you throw me another one? Do the Dew. Hank, you want to pass Big Cat an OG? Go for it, buddy.
I love these cans. Cans are great.
Just the color of them pops. The Code Red is aggressive.
There's like a dragon, iguana type guy on here. Code Red's the best.
I love it. You guys love Mountain Dew.
There's nothing else to say. You guys know Mountain Dew's great.
We know Mountain Dew's great. And there's nothing like that refreshing citrus kick.
Mountain Dew will get you off your ass and have you feeling like you're on an actual mountain, a mountain where the weather's always perfect and your friends are ready to hang. And a day of epic proportions awaits.
We're here at Camp Barstool. We're going to be drinking Mountain Dew all week long, engaging in some outdoor activities, some recreation, hitting up the lake, sharing a cabin with the boys, playing some wiffle ball, playing some ultimate frisbee.
We're going to be playing some kickball and we're going to be drinking a ton of mountain dew the mountains calling you should answer grab your friends grab an ice cold mountain dew wherever refreshing beverages are sold and do the do okay let's finish up the show we got guys on chicks hey boys long time awl here congrats to pug on 98 that was electric see how easy that was max

anyway that was electric pft what see how easy that was yeah i'm beyond impressed with pug shout out to one guy who said that he had been picking uh 98 for an entire year because of conor bedard when the blackhawks got conor bedard and he's like all it took was pug to pick it once and we're back Like, you guys just he's magic.

Pug is magic.

Anyway, any advice on asking a guy out there's this guy in my apartment complex i'm borderline obsessed with and i'm curious whether he's interested we've hung out a few times walking our dogs and getting drinks with mutual friends but never one-on-one should i just assume that if he was interested he would just ask me out and accept that it's never going to happen no no that's not how it works no we're stupid right now the guy is probably leaving a voicemail for another podcast asking whether or not he should ask you out yeah so he's on life advice right now here's the thing um just ask him out yeah i don't know a single guy that's intimidated or has like a turnoff to a woman asking him out.

If he's interested in you and you ask him out, then it's actually the best thing that could ever happen to him.

What's going through his brain right now is there's a cute neighbor of mine who I walk dogs with and we've had some beers and I really want to ask her out.

But I'm super afraid that if I ask her out, she says, no, it's going to be awkward every time I see her.

That's exactly what's going through his brain every day when he wakes up.

So if you just ask him out you're good yep and then when you guys break up one of you will have to move because that will be the awkward time yeah but you'll you know have some fun in between or you guys dogs become friends oh yeah then you gotta explain don get a third dog. No, then you'd have to figure out who gets the third dog when you break up.
Yeah. And it will be a messy breakup.
It also matters if you live on the same floor, I think. Yeah.
Oh, even messier. Yeah.
Hey, PMT boys. I went to a college party last weekend of school in May.
The last weekend of school in May. Me and this guy had a lot of fun dancing dancing and hanging out there he brought us he bought us an uber back to his place but he threw up in the uber into the trash sack i wanted to go back to his apartment but he said he's too fucked up and unable to perform do you think he was lying to me or is that true i don't that's definitely true that's definitely also credit to this woman she shared an uber back with the guy he p puked in the Uber.
Yeah. And then she was like, you want to go fool around? Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, that's a real one right there. Yeah.
I mean, he's, he was just so bombed that. Wow.
And then she's like, do you think he was faking it? Yeah. Imagine if the guy could puke on command just to get out of hookup, bad hookups.
Yeah, I'll take the $500 cleaning charge. Actually, you know what? Now that you're saying it.
Yeah, he was faking it. He faked the whole thing.
You got to think about something else. Okay.
Sub dad cat, JNCO man, and bell ringer. My husband is not a football guy and loves museums and art fairs with a particular interest in modern art.
He'll watch football with me and scroll his phone. Con is that getting a call? Sorry.
Doesn't particularly enjoy it. And when we get together with friends to watch a game at a house or bar, it's pretty awkward because he doesn't understand the lingo or rules.
Is there any hope he will come around? No. Sounds you just you have an art guy yeah this is this is like uh remember when we went to dinner pft we might have told this story and there was um we went to dinner with a friend and he invited the guy who uh wrote the music to succession yeah and there was a moment during dinner where i actually i felt like an idiot but i was like hey man can i ask you a question like it's kind of a weird question he's like yeah it's like what do you do on sundays and he was like what do you mean and then he explained like yeah i just go to the park or in like he lives a regular day and it just was it's so foreign to me like what do you imagine having having your full weekend clear every single weekend he's productive He actually he does things to improve himself yeah but even summer i mean there's still some sports but yeah yeah i guess it's summer yeah yeah but imagine having that all year round you're saying a very bizarre feeling like you you'd have all you get all the stuff done around your house yeah.
Well, listen, admiring art isn't that different from watching football. Yeah.
Hear me out. You spend all day.
You pay like $15. You go to a big building and then you look at a screen on the wall and then that screen makes you feel emotions.
Not only that. That's exactly what I do every single Sunday.
Add to that, a lot of times when you go to the museum, you get the headset and someone's explaining the art to you. Yeah, exactly.
It's a complimentary piece. You've got like a play-by-play guy for the art.
Right. And it makes you feel angry sometimes.
Other times it makes you feel happy. Other times it makes you feel like you want to get into a fight with another guy that's in the art museum.
Yeah. And then to the gift shop which is similar to when we order like five hundred dollars worth of wings and and pizza yeah or you buy like yeah you're getting like your your fifth like on-field replica jersey yeah for your favorite team yeah that's what you're getting when you get the rembrandt calendar right it's actually the same thing as being a sports fan yeah okay hank last one hey pmt boys my, PMT boys.
My boyfriend is a longer time listener and I've gradually become a reluctant fan of your show. Whoa, whoa.
There's a lot of qualifiers in that sentence right there. Chill out.
When my boyfriend gets drunk, he will often eat whatever is available. Most recently, he pulled out five tortillas and made a bunch of quesadillas, but he also included mayo and peanut butter along with the cheese.
I find this disgusting, but get your thoughts what has been your train of drunk food creation i mean that's that's not that mayo and peanut butter together is gross yeah but i'll stand on that i i would agree but with cheese putting yourself into into a drunk person's mindset where you just take anything that you see and put together like i've heard worse yeah he probably likes mayo and peanut butter. And he was just like, oh, let's just play the hits.
How many times have you, I was very, I never did like the, a ton of crazy ones. It's just usually just a frozen pizza.
How many frozen pizzas have you guys burned to almost burning your house down? I can think of three times. I was going to say seven.
I can think of a few. Yeah.
I once. I once.
With a pizza in there.

It's just a brick when you wake up.

I used to keep my like buns and like bread in my stove in my old apartment.

So I didn't have like a lot of space.

Yeah.

And I accidentally.

I thought I took them all out.

I left one in there and then like lit an entire bag.

Yeah.

Oh, no.

It was bad.

That's a bad place to keep plastic.

Yeah, it's bad.

That's so great.

That's a great Hank story.

I wish I had a good one. Plastic? Yeah.
Oh, no. It was bad.
That's a bad place to keep plastic. Yeah, it's bad.

That's so great.

That's a great Hank story.

I wish I had heard that before.

What I used to do was I used to just go into my closet and add chips.

Like I would always get like the flaming hot chips or the Takis.

And I would add those to just anything. If I had like leftover fried rice from a restaurant.

Guess what makes it better?

Put some flaming hot Doritos in there. Yeah.
I would leave the stove on once a week in college. Like my, it became a thing that like my roommates had to, had to be there when I was using the stove.
Cause they knew I was going to leave it on every time. Yeah.
I wasn't even drunk either. That was just like, I would cook something and then leave the stove on after.
Yeah. Well, you were just.

I was just dumb.

Well, all right.

Hold on to back you up.

It was obviously if it was a college apartment, it was the coils.

No, it was one of the electric ones, but it wouldn't be red.

Yeah, that's not your fault.

That's not your fault.

The coils are like you leave those on.

You can see the fire.

I couldn't see the fire.

Yeah.

If it's an open flame one, like if it's a burner, then're an idiot anything else i have your back yeah yeah all right good show boys hard knocks that was fun yeah holy times thank you also any of the awls that didn't spoil it after i accidentally said it on donnie's live stream at like 11 a.m today so good job it's been uh's been cool seeing part of my take make it to the big screen again. Yeah, this podcast might actually work out.
As a TV show? No, as just a podcast. All right, let's kick it back to ourselves for lottery balls.
Okay, let's wrap up the show. We're back in studio for numbers.
Pug, can he do it? Three in a row.

First ever three-peat.

Pug, you got to go first.

I think I'm going to go 97, Pug.

Wow.

You crazy bastard.

You are fucking psycho.

Maybe work my way down.

Wait, Hank's mic's not on.

Hank's mic's not on.

This is good.

Yeah, best part of the show.

You're good.

What are you going to say, Hank? I kind of had them. My first line was...
It was a killer line? Yeah. I just pretend.
Just pretend. Hey, Pug, you go first.
I think I'm going to go with 97, Pug. Oh, you're sick.
Do you think that just going down in order is going to work? That was a good line, Hank. Yeah.

The first one.

Wait, was that because that was your strategy at one point?

But Pug won't miss numbers.

True.

He's just going to get them all.

Pug's just better.

Yeah.

Pug's a better human being and dog than all of us.

Yeah.

I'll go with 20.

I'll go back to eight.

Pug might be a better picker of numbers than human. I don't know.
He's a better dog than picker. I mean, he's elite at picking numbers.
He's a very great human. We love him, but is he elite? I think he's probably the best on this show.
Yeah, by far. Thanks, guys.
That means a lot.

Pug. See, what a good guy.
All right. What's your number, Hank? 70.
70. 70.
70. Did you just try to pick all the 70s? 70s.
Max, have you ever gotten the lottery ball? I've gotten the number, 56. 21.
You've never gotten the lottery ball 8 This is 97

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2 Love you guys I don't know what I have to say I'd say it anyway Today's an update to find you Shining away I'm coming for your love of three Shining away I'm coming for your love of three So yeah, you're gonna need me Dream on me Dream on me Dream on me Dream on me Dream on me Dream on me Take off me

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Take off me Thank you. Okay, say after me, it's a letter to be safe or sorry.
Say after me, it's a letter to be safe or sorry. Things that you say, yeah, is it a lie, though? Just to play my boundaries away.
You are the things I've got to remember. Are you shying away? I'll come for you anyway.
Are you shying away? I'll come to you anyway. Take on me Take on me

Take on me

Take on me

Take on me