Nate Bargatze, Mt Rushmore Of Breakfast, Training Camp Has Started And Listener FAQ’s

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have our good friend, comedian, funniest guy, one of the funniest guys going right now. Yeah.
Nate Bargatze, talking some golf with him, having some fun with him. Nate is one of the funniest guys out there.
Awesome, awesome interview with him. We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of breakfast food, which is going to be great.
We've got training camps started. We've got a big issue with Hank.
We've got Hot C, Cool Throne. Do you see his face right there? Yeah, I it is and we've got faqs and it's all

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Now in the street there is violence And then a lot of work to be done

No place to hang out or wash in

And then I can't blame all on the sun

Oh no

We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue

And then we'll take it higher

Oh we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue

It's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports Welcome to part of my take presented by DraftKings Get in on all the best ball action Download the DraftKings app Use code TAKE That's code TAKE for all customers who enter the NFL Best Ball 15 Million Millionaire Contest To get a bonus ticket and get a shot at being crowned one of two millionaires only on DraftKings. Today is Wednesday, July 24th.
And, Hank, we have an issue. We're in school right now, Hank.
You're a teacher. Are you ready for your assignment? I am.
You are. Are you really? All right, so the back story here is our darling Jake texted PFT and I.
Oh, no. Fuck.
Oh, you're not ready. The whale thing.
No. No, no, no.
Hank. No.
You had an assignment for me. No.
Our darling Jake texted PFT and I said, I have three, three different reminders set for this week. The first reminder, which, you know what? another time uh because we're we have a bunch of stuff going on right now and hank's traveling on thursday yep no that is not yours uh we're gonna do nfl coaches draft yeah we did last year that last year it was uh current coaches draft so we'll do that a lot of mics um we also had a reminder to do all-time rankings for groups of position or for position groups so it'd be

like if you're taking A lot of mics. We also had a reminder to do all-time rankings for position groups.

So it would be like if you're taking the Vikings wide receivers,

and you get Randy Moss and Chris Carter and Justin Jefferson, whatever.

We'll do that as well at some point.

But today, oh, no, sorry.

You have until Friday.

You have until Friday. You're supposed to teach us an econ class.
Hank. Eastern Connecticut? No.
No. It would be economics.
I have no idea where this came from. I forget the context behind it, but Hank said that he would teach us an economics class.
An econ 101 class. I know you're not ready right now, but you'll be ready for friday i'm not gonna be here oh so you already failed you incomplete no i'll give you guys a's so then we pass no we're gonna do it you have to do it class i want to learn i don't i didn't take econ i didn't i literally never got past algebra two.
So what's a fair amount?

There's a difference.

One's a math class.

The other is economics.

Yeah.

What's a fair time frame?

How much time do you need to teach us econ 101? We want to see what Hank Lockwood comes up with econ 101.

A week?

Maybe we do it on the bus, grit week.

Okay.

I like that. While we're driving.
Do you want to do that? Can can you tie it into sports maybe teach us what the salary cap is oh okay second apron yep get that going i would like you to become a capologist not just because you lie all the time just and i want you to teach us about this if you became our capologist this show would go to the moon i'm not saying that you're holding us back but that specific thing is definitely holding us back yeah yeah i'll try i mean i i struggle with you know multiplication tables same you're teaching dumb students too just so you know like i'm math and i have never gotten along ever oil and water i would have liked jake to have texted you Yeah, but that's all right. Yeah, it's okay.
He kind of set you up. Yeah.

But also, he was being he was being responsible he's texting us the rivalry continues yeah yeah in the afterlife jake is getting you he's haunting you uh okay so that was the i mean i it's a slow time in sports but that we saw that we saw we're like holy shit we have to address this the listeners are going to be like where's the econ class we thought we were getting an econ class and the NFL coaches draft and the all-time ranking groups for position groups let's do the NFL coaching draft while you do the econ draft we'll do a combo we're going to get so lost in that snake it's going to be insane so it'll be like lesson round of the round of the draft. That's some...
I don't think anyone's ever done that on a podcast. I like this.
I like this. It's going to be...
Fuse the listeners purposefully. Yeah.
Terrible audio. It's going to be educational.
I do have an economics question as it pertains to the NFL. Oh.
Do you think that Jordan Love deserves to be the highest paid quarterback in football? Listen. Highest paid player in football.
Here's what I'm going to say about Jordan Love real quick. I don't – this has nothing to do with him being a Packer.
He's holding out right now for people who aren't paying attention. He's holding out.
He's not going to practice. He's holding in, though.
He's holding in. He's not going to practice with his team until he gets his new contract.
I don't – I can't remember a player ever doing this. This is one of the most selfish things I've ever seen a player do.
I don't remember. Someone can show me a time that a player has been like, I'm not playing until I get my contract.
That would be the first I've ever seen of it. Because as far as I know, Jordan Love is the first player to do this.
And it's disgusting. And if you were his teammate, you know what? I would like, Huey, can you please set up an anonymous tips email? Any Packers players that want to reach out anonymously and tell us about Jordan Love being so selfish that he's not going to training camp? We will hear you out, and we'll keep you 100% anonymous, and we'll read your story for the world on friday this is the uh the downside to the packers of like the way that they do their their quarterback system yeah they draft a guy and let him sit for a while yeah and then they get out there and they play like one half of the season like one of the best quarterbacks in the league and now it's like shit now we have to pay him immediately yeah they don't get any of those the window is tough yeah their guys their guys are too good that they have to pay him right away let me ask you a question pft if you were a fan of a team uh would you rather your quarterback win the heisman trophy yes yes but miss two days of mini camp yeah or an entire week maybe more of training training camp um which one comes after Phase me is training camp.
Okay, training camp comes afterwards. I'm going to say I would rather have my quarterback miss minicamp.
I agree. Wait, is it mandatory minicamp? Kind of.
It's a little bit. We don't really know.
We don't know. It's excused, not excused.
That was going to be my follow-up question. Partially excused.
I would say if it's an excused missing of mandatory minicamp, yes. If it's an unexcused missing of voluntary minicamp, no.
I don't want that guy anywhere near my team. Okay, so I bring this up because Aaron Rodgers has shown up to training camp, which was up in the air because if you remember on Monday's show, he said when we asked him if he was going to training camp, he said, yeah, probably, as first reported by us.
The yeah part won out. So Aaron Rodgers is at training camp.
The most important time of team building of the entire season is building your team during training camp. Aaron Rodgers is at training camp.
Jordan Love is not at training camp. Is Aaron rogers less of a diva than jordan love we miss me yet hmm yeah interesting to think about it this is a good lesson the economy because the market is speaking right now and it's saying that jordan love if they do i think they will make him the highest paid like per year i don't know which is crazy because he's a grand total he's gonna do 32 years old yeah so um so so making jordan love the highest paid quarterback after like such a small sample.
So that's 32 years old. Yeah.
So making Jordan Love the highest paid quarterback after such a small sample, that's the free market in the NFL. Yeah, it is.
It's one of those situations where you have to pay him. Yeah, I think they'll, what would you guess? Thursday? Maybe even today? Yeah, it could be today.
Today he'll get paid and he'll just be back at camp and it'll be nothing. So the current highest paid player per year is Joe Burrow.
He gets $55 million a year. Which.
Just signed his contract. Also, I hand up, spent way too much time this morning thinking about Joe Burrow's hair.
Yeah, so he shaved his head and then he bleached his head. Yes.
So he looks like Eminem right now. So the shaved head, I was like, Bengals are going to win the Super Bowl.
All business. It almost looked like a mug shot he's like i don't need hair i don't need any of these frills better than you uh so that was mean the bleached hair i don't really i can't figure out it does look like m&m it looks like straight out of 1998 but that feels like fashion jo, Joe.
I was totally in on Joe Burrow being like, I'm going to training camp. I'm going to shave my head like a Marine.
And this is war this season. But then to bleach it, like late 90s.
But wait, what I think is going to happen, I think this is just team building. This is just a guy being a dude.
Letting them make fun of him? Letting them make fun of him during training camp.

And then I think once the regular season starts, then it's business hair.

I like that.

It's back to business for Joe.

I like that. I predict he will not play an NFL game with bleached hair.

Yeah, Hank, by the way, what you said.

So wait, not one single game?

I don't think.

Not a regular season.

Yeah, because he is going to play in the preseason this year.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do you want to bet on it?

Anyone want to take the other side?

I don't. I agree with you.
I think he'll go back yeah i agree with you i agree with your assessment hank what i was gonna say was um that was mean of me but i think we found out that shaving your head was never a punishment because you've i haven't even noticed yeah i i was a shaved head guy until i was like 20 because my friend did haircuts and i was too broke to get other haircuts. So yeah, you just go.
I just rocked the buzz. You go out, you buy one of those clippers and then you're number three.
Yeah. So if you don't do the econ lesson on grit week, you got to reshave.
Not the BIC. Oh, come on.
I'm going to do the econ. Okay.
You know already. You know so much about econ already.
It's true. How to not pay taxes.
False. Everything.
How to make more money by not paying taxes. Yeah.
All these things. I am going to think about, I will be at the beach this weekend.
I might try and get some sun in or get my hair blonde. Yeah.
So Joe Burrow. Yeah.
Okay. Me and Fyde said that a couple years ago.
It gets blonde and red real fast. We'll find out.
A little ginger. We do need a ginger on this podcast.
I've been raw dogging the sun this summer, by the way. I haven't been using any sunscreen.
Paws. Yeah.
It might be a problem. I feel like it's a problem.
What? Are you laughing about the paws? I said the sun. You didn't say which sun.
No, you didn't say I spelled it. No, you're a pervert.
I don't know if it was a you or a no. You're a pervert.
We've been talking about Bronny. I feel you're a pervert.
Talking about Bronny a lot recently. That's gross.
Yeah, I should probably start putting it on sunscreen, but it's nice having a tan because when you're fat, if you can't tone it, you got to tan it. I haven't used a single ounce of sunscreen.
It doesn't feel like a manly thing.

I know, again, this is not something people should do.

We are not role models, Charles Barkley, blah, blah, blah.

Something about just raw dog in the sun.

What I like to do is I go out for the first hour, no sunscreen, and then I put it on.

Get a little base coat going.

But yeah, if you're going on a vacation, you can't do the first day sunscreen-less because

then you just ruin the whole trip. Yeah, but I don't really burn that bad.
You've got the swarthy olive skin. Yeah, us Italians, me and Max.
Jewish and Italian have very similar skin. Yeah, and I'm an Italian father.
Yeah. So, okay, the other quarterback I wanted to talk about, did you guys see Bryce Young coming in? I did see Bryce Young.
Oh. Like me, he had an accidental six-year-old day.
It happens from time to time. Swagless.
Do you have a backpack on? Yeah. Yeah, you got to ditch the backpack.
Either that or go like full steam ahead with it and rock a SpongeBob backpack. Yeah.
Swagless. That was tough.
Yeah. He doesn't.
I'm not inspired by Bryce Young. Yeah.
Because I was like. Especially when your last name is Young.
Yeah. And he was kind of.
I was toying around with the idea of being like, maybe buy stock in Bryce Young this year. You know? Because there's always one guy that everyone's written off.
And then I saw that. Again, it's a four-second clip.
This is how we consume our NFL in this part of the summer. It's basically long pass in practice.
Don't think about the fact that they also threw six picks and guys walking into the building on day one. How they look there's that yeah the the the walk up

when you show up to training camp and some guys drive those like spider cars in yeah they get you

rent a car for that day for the first entrance the packers on the bicycles kind of weird uh and then

the cameras that they set up for the social team when the players are coming off practice

and they're asking like is water wet yeah as they're leaving the practice field that's training

camp that's the whole training camp yeah it does your team is your team about to get into a fight

Yeah, That's training camp. Are they ready to hit somebody else? Yeah.
Are they tired of hitting each other? Yeah. How bad is Lamar Jackson's diarrhea? Bad.
Bad. Two days bad.
What team do you think will have a report about there being an actual fight over NCAA? Oh! I didn't even think about that. What team has the biggest mix of different SEC players? That's a good one, Hank.
Because, oh, man. I'm so jealous of everyone who's been able to just basically fuck off for the last two weeks and just do nothing but play this game.
Because I've not played. You have mentally, in a way.
i mean i've i when i'm playing it's on stream i've had very little practice time but like i'm talking about the dude who's listening to this right now who's 27 years old single no kids nothing no responsibilities not doesn't have roommates so maybe a little bit past the roommate time. And he's working at 9 to 5.
And he has played this game 100 hours in the last seven days. That guy is my hero.
The guy whose apartment is just the folding chair, the TV, and that's it? Yeah, he just has been like, I'm not going to talk to anyone. I'm not going out.
I'm just going to rip dynasties for the next seven days or probably more than that a couple weeks uh until they like resurface into into you know regular civilization that guy is living the dream i think this might be the first day in the in the sports calendar year at least for the last 10 years where the optimal day to get a vasectomy is not before March Madness. Yeah.
It was right before this game came out. Yeah.
But even then, if you're getting a vasectomy, that means you have kids. That means you're probably not playing the game.
Probably not playing as much. Like, I just don't.
A recreational vasectomy. I had a very sad conversation with our friend Scott Van Pelt because he loves this game.
And he was like, I think I just don't have, I'm washed. And I don't think I have the amount of time that I need to get good at it and it's like a very it was like almost like a heartbreaking conversation I was having with him yeah it's like this is this is a really sad thing that we're talking about guys can't have hobbies they can't they can't just fuck off from the entire world for 10 days and be like I I need to work on my recruiting for coastal carolina that would actually be a great thing for for dads to be able to do just adults in general uh spend a week where you're essentially in prison but it's a prison of your own choosing where you get to bring like a piece of technology in there yeah you get to sleep however much you want don't have to look at at phone calls.
Don't have to deal with work. No emails.

The best out-of-office email reply ever set up.

Yep.

And just have a week where you don't do shit.

That's what I do.

I'd play this game.

Yeah.

I'd play this game.

What were we talking about?

Lamar Jackson's butt.

Oh, the teams.

Anyone going to get in a fight over it?

Oh, yeah.

Which team?

Good question, Hank.

Which team most likely?

That is a fair question.

Hmm.

Feels to me like it could be from the AFC South.

I'm going to say the Jaguars.

I don't know.

I was thinking that too.

Yeah, Jaguars.

Jaguars are going to fight over this.

Let's do it.

Is Christian Kirk on the Jaguars still?

He's a gamer, right?

I don't know if he's still on the Jaguars, but.

Oh, I mean the Cardinals.

Kyler Murray.

Yeah, Cardinals. Kyler Murray is going to get his ass kicked this week.
We got to do new faces soon. Yeah.
Yeah, we got to do that whole, maybe get a quiz going. Here we can set it up.
By the way, I just want to see, because I know I'm going to get a lot of replies being like, dude, you have a dream job. I agree.
I just wish I had more free time to be able to just fuck off and play college football. That's all.
Yeah. I mean, I'm very jealous of all those guys who have that right now.
It is nice. It's the best.
It is nice. Just know this.
Just take this. If you're one of the people I just described, just take one second out of your day and be like, yeah, I am living in the good old days.
You think that's why Joe Biden dropped out? Yeah, probably. More time to play college football? Yes.
Delaware State, national champions. He's definitely playing on freshman mode.
Yeah. He's playing Grand Theft Auto.
He's like, I love this college football game. All right.
Any other sports stories that we can talk about? Olympics coming up? Yeah, I got one of those in my hot seat, Cool Throne. Okaybron did save or was that it so no it wasn't lebron did save team usa we were playing against germany yep uh aaron rogers very conflicted which was a good guy in that game i watched that clip back that was crazy yeah it was that he took a second he's like were we i think he's just i think aaron is so he's in a mode now where he questions everything, which I don't have a problem with because I think those type of people we need more.
But he was thinking about questioning World War Two and then he stopped himself. He kind of stopped himself.
I also think, yeah, you're right. He just likes to say, were we? Yeah.
Are we just to kind of like let you know that he thinks that he's smarter than you sometimes? Yeah. in that context if i remember the conversation correctly i think he was replying more to the fact that you said he was talking about dropping the bombs yes yes and so he's saying that's where that's up to debate were we good for dropping the bus yes that is 100 up to debate yeah um yeah so lebron saved team usa saved team usa from germany uh we were we were losing then we were winning then we're losing again and then he made a basket at the end so yeah with his offhand uh well was it yeah i think he made a it was not with his right it was right-handed yeah yeah his offhand his offhand he's he's beating everyone in offhand competitions because he's actually a lefty and his offhand is his right hand which he's shot with for 40 years yep uh okay we have a big big story coming out of the sec and that is that they've decided which team is going to be ut oh texas or tennessee who do you think is ut big cat oh man this is huge i mean i think tennessee gets the rights to it but i think when i think of ut i feel like i say tennessee and when i think of ut i say texas yep that's tennessee if tennessee wants it they should they deserve it that's fair because they've been in the sec right the sec agrees right texas is tex tex tex and oh this is for the graphic like i'm an idiot i was thinking of just like casual conversation they're gonna police everyone's language oh we will yeah yeah we will um yeah no tennessee should get ah they should you know it should be like a midas touch is that the right no king solomon uh cut it in half cut it in half they should it should just be 10 and

tax 10 and tax i like when it's t e n n 10 yeah i think that's what it is yeah so they're not getting ut no no that i think it's text t e x ut is now tennessee but i'm saying i think i've seen t and yeah that's what i like yeah now i so neither of them got ut no tenn Tennessee did. But they're going with 10.

No, Tennessee is UT.

Got it.

I wish they would stay as 10.

I think they decided this based on which orange was better.

And it's Tennessee orange.

It's Tennessee.

Yeah, Tennessee gets right to this.

I have no problem with that.

But I do like when the score bug says T-E-N-N.

People are big mad about this in Texas.

Well, shouldn't have changed conferences.

Yep.

Also, the Big Ten conference is going to keep the championship game in Indy until 2028, which just is so great. Because if you're a USC or UCLA fan, you probably said to yourself, I'll never be an Indianapolis.
Or Rutgers. Rutgers.
Well, they still won't. But USC and UCLA fans are definitely pissed.
They're pretty mad about this.

Probably not UCLA.

USC and Oregon?

Yeah.

UCLA is probably like, oh, okay, noted.

Yeah.

Okay, we can clear that schedule.

Yeah.

And then also we have,

there's more smoke going around about the 18-game schedule.

Yeah, so the NFLPA and the NFL have had discussions about the 18-game schedule.

I think we figured it out with Joe Burrow.

Yeah. Before the bleach got to it.
Double think we figured it out with Joe Burrow. Yeah.

Before the bleach got to it.

Double buy.

They said double buy and then Super Bowl.

It's been a no-brainer to have the Super Bowl on President's Day weekend.

No offense to Lincoln.

But, yeah, that's how the schedule should line up.

Yeah.

And it basically eliminates winter.

Yeah.

Because if you have football on, winter doesn't exist. I know it can be cold, because if you have football on winter doesn't

exist that's i mean i know it can be cold but if you have something to look forward to being football on the weekend you can get through the week yeah so how are they going to is this going to affect obviously it'll affect revenue so that would mean that salaries go up do we get anything more and then we gotta work more whoever yeah we should get more whoever the next quarterback is, is it still Tua?

Is it Tua after Jordan Love?

I thought Tua was supposed to be this before jordan love but i think we just passed tua it's kind of at one point it was great for tua to see all these deals getting done yeah and then at some point it became bad for tua where he's like am i going to get my long-term deal yeah and then it'll be coud soon. Well, I guess he has to go three years first.
Yeah, I guess Tua. Did Tua get lost? Yeah.
I think Tua got a party. He's going to be a fun one.
I cannot wait for the Brock Purdy. That's going to be so great.
We're going to say, Max. You had something to say? No.
Memes wants to. Were Tua and Jordan Love in the same draft class? Yes.
It was Herbert, Burrow, Tua. Well, we can find out very quickly.
2020. I think he was.
I think Jordan Love was like the 22nd pick or something in that draft class because it was the COVID draft, right? Yeah. Chase Young draft.
Yes. Yes, he was.
The answer is yes. And he was picked 26.
So, yeah, Tua should be, and Herbert and Joe Burrow, and, yeah, have all been paid. So Jordan Love's going to get paid.
Man, this is going to be a hell of a draft class for quarterbacks. It is going to be wild, yeah.
That's nuts. Were you drafting a quarterback that year? Me? Yeah.
Jalen Hurts also in this draft class. We were talking about first-round quarterbacks.
We should have. We're talking about guys that are the guys.
You said draft class. You said draft class.
Chase Young that year almost had the opportunity to draft Joe Burrow. Or Justin Herbert.bert uh or just herbert or two but max have you heard have you heard the rumors that they're not going to be running the uh the um push push push this year they're not running as much i want i want the rest of the nfl to think that because jason kelsey no jason kelsey yeah but jay have you heard that jason kelsey's been in the locker room he's got a locker the coach's office, and he's been in more than any of the other players.
Is he a coach? He's a coach. He's going to come back.
He's Coach Jason. And he's an ESPN analyst? Yep.
Seems like conflict. Wait, so he's going to play this year? No, but he's been in the locker and helping the boys.
I feel like he's going to play this year. He didn't look like he had lost.
He looked good. Yeah, he didn't look like he had lost a bunch of weight or anything.
He looked good. If you have an injury, God forbid, at the center position, God forbid, you think Jason Kelsey's not going to come back if he has an office in the building and the team's good? Listen, if he wants to come back, I would love to have him, but I want him to enjoy his life.
Because if he came back, this would be an even better tush-push because you'd have Saquon behind him. Yeah.
You want whatever's best for Jason Kelso. That's like 1,200 pounds worth of squats in the backfield pushing forward.
Yeah. No, there's some thighs back there.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, man.
There's some thighs. You creeped me out the way that you said that.
Yeah. Yeah, some thighs.
Yeah, so I guess Tua's got to... Maybe we should just start...
I mean, we are part of Tua. Maybe we should be like, hey, what about Tua? Tua awareness? Yeah, what the fuck's happening? The Hawk Tua girl stole his thunder.
Yeah. We need Tua to get paid.
Come on, Mike McDaniel. Spit on that thing.
Okay. Let's do Hot Seat Cool Throne, and then we have the Mount Rushmore of breakfast foods.
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What are you going to say? Yeah, I was going to say, in keeping with the summer concert series, Pup Punk is playing on August 2nd, Friday in Columbus. Hell yes.
Just found out today, Mark Titus will be in Columbus that weekend. He'll be joining us on stage.
He's going to try to follow up Max's performance, which is going to be tough to beat. But Titus is going to be with us in Columbus Friday, August 2nd at Scully's.
We've got tickets available. And then in Nashville, at the Barstool Bar in Nashville, those are free tickets to the one in Nashville.
But you have to VIP. You have to RSVP, one of those acronyms.
RSVP for it. But it's going to be fun.
Nice. Awesome.
Pop Punk's back.

If you haven't been to a Pop Punk show, they absolutely rock.

Okay.

Hot seat, cool throne.

Hank.

My hot seat is people.

There was a viral video today of a whale essentially breaching, and it seemed like it was attacking or knocking over a boat on purpose.

Yeah.

People, William Football reported said an angry whale basically attacked a boat.

Does he know if he was mad?

Right.

That's what people were trying to say it seems like they're already blaming the whale seems that's what i'm saying and people people were giving me shit for picking blue whales on orcas i i've said this before i orcas are cool but they're like a cursed animal why because of tilicum and you and they basically got turned evil. What about Jim Irsay's whale? I guess that whale was cursed too.
Tilikum was the one in Blackfish. Oh, yeah.
The one whose dorsal fin started to fold over because it was sad. Got it.
And orcas weren't predatory or as evil as they are. They're fighting back.
Yeah, they basically. But that was...
They are called killer whales. But they weren't killer whales until Tilikum, whatever.
I feel bad for orcas, but whatever. Then this blue whale video came out, everyone was saying, this is like what orcas do, this is a killer whale move.
Not true. I don't think that's a blue whale in this video.
It's a whale, but it's not a killer whale. A blue whale would have been...
No, I'm saying when people were giving me shit for my blue whale pick, this is in the same video. The whale did look blue.
It kind of did. But it's a whale but it's not it's not it's not a killer where a blue whale no i'm saying when people are giving me shit for my blue whale pick this is in the same the whale did look blue it kind of did but it's not a blue whale but it is a blue whale yeah blue whales kind of cucked everyone with the blue yeah we're the only ones because there's a lot of blue whales yeah we're the white podcasters yeah i reached out to a whale photographer yeah got some intel uh what's uh his or her name's her name's Erica.
Shout out to Erica for filling me in. Thank you, Erica.
How's your furniture store doing? I said the whales weren't doing this on purpose, right? She said, no. The whale's just trying to eat.
When there are schools of small fish all bunched up, anchovies, et cetera, whales will come in and try to eat them. The fishermen are trying to fish out the small fish.
What are they doing? I don't know why they're trying to fish out the small fish. The whale can't see the boat.
They have eyes on the side of their head, so the boat is just in the way. So it's an accident.
Accident. Okay.
So, yeah, and the boat right of way in water is always the bigger boat has right of way. Is that true, Hank? Mm-hmm.
It is. The smaller boat, what, is it not? Probably.
You took a boating class. I feel like that should be the one thing.
I thought that was like very. Yeah.
That should be the first thing they teach you. If you're.
What direction you're going in. No, but if you're a bigger boat, it's harder to maneuver.
You have the right of way. Do you not? It depends on.
You're an expert. I'm not getting in Hank's boat.
If I'm in a kayak and you're in a barge, who has the right of way? Well, motorboats. Motorboats.
Okay. If I'm in a dinghy and you're in a barge, who has the right of way? Motorboats.
Motorboats. Okay.
If I'm in a dinghy and you're in a barge, who has the right of way? Are we going in the same direction? We're going right at each other. Oh, no.
Then it's easier for the smaller boats to get out of the way. Yes, that's what I'm saying.
Yes. Yes.
The bigger boat has the right of way. The whale has the right of way.
Are you sure you took a boat safety class? Yeah. Well, no, it depends on direction.
Wait, wait, wait. What's the other one? I would make sure change.
Yeah, what other direction would matter? If you're going the same direction? Like if you're coming up and the boat's going straight. T-bone? Are you talking about T-bone? Yeah, the bigger one still.
The smaller boat would stop. Yeah.
So the bigger one still has the right of way. But if it was reversed and the smaller boat was going this way and the bigger boat was coming this way.
I think the bigger boat would still have the right away. You're talking about just two boats colliding into each other.
I don't know what you mean when you... Are you saying if...
It's like roads. But the smaller boat is always the one that has to get out of the way, no? But if it's like 10 feet versus 20 feet, it's...
Well, then they wouldn't hit each other if it was 10 feet first. What are you talking about? Wait, what do you mean 10 feet versus 20 feet? What are you talking about? He's saying if one boat...
Are you saying if one boat is 10 feet in front of the other? If a 10-foot boat, a 20-foot boat, it depends with the directions on who has the right of way. A 20-foot boat would have it.
Because they're bigger. That's not true.
I'm pretty sure the ocean is actually how the world should work Bigger things get the right of way They're shipping lanes Either way This is how it should always be Max The bigger you are the more right of way you get I don't think he took a call It was not an evil Those whales are not attacking There's going to be a lot of corrections on this It was not an evil whale is It was not an evil whale is what you're saying. Correct.
The whale was just being a whale. Correct.
And the boat happened to have been in the way. Correct.
Wrong place, wrong time. Also, the whale was much bigger than the boat, therefore the whale had right of way.
Sure. Did they arrest the whale? No.
Are they going to kill the whale like it does? Did they at least get his license plate? No. Okay.
This is a problem. What did you just...
So what's your hot seat? Oh, he Googled it! He Googled it! I'm not even a boater. Oh, no.
Much bigger than yours have the right away. Okay.
But not... 20 double a 10-foot boat.
You're not going to stand there and be like, that's a 23-foot boat. I got a 20-footer.
A 20-foot boat is literally double the size. In theory, there are plenty of situations where they do not have the right of way.
In theory? What theory? They have the right of way. Are you reading a blog post? If another vessel is approaching you from the port or left side of your boat, so it depends on the direction.
Oh, there's no way that's what you do. That's exactly what I i said what's starboard you did not take a voting class you just said port or left side a second ago right i knew that which one's republican what's the bow starboard or port all right my cool throne my cool throne is trump okay stick sports but he's a very awesome against Bryson.
He did a video with Bryson, and he was impressive. What did he shoot? They did.
It's a series Bryson does called Breaking 50, where him and one other person try and break 50 playing from the front tees. So, like, every par four is drivable.
Even par fives are drivable for Bryson. And what did they do it? I think they shot minus 22.
So I think 50 or maybe 49. Did they do best ball or did they do scramble or what? Scramble.
Damn. But Trump had two solo birdies and a solo eagle.
Like on his own ball. From the front tee.
Yeah. But if you or I or PFT was playing with Bryson, it's doubtful that we would have his...
I would hope Brooks is a better golfer than me because he golfs. Yeah, but he's 79.
What happened on the first hole? Are you saying he's old? Yeah. Wow.
I didn't say that about Joe Biden a week ago. What happened on the first hole when we played against Brooks? Right, we weren't playing with Brooks, though.
Like, if we were playing with Brooks, we would have used his drive. No.
No, I don't think so. Mine had a better lie.
Got it. Better angle.
Shit. He got you there at PFT, I think.
Well, what did he do with it? What did he do with it? He made a bird. He made an eagle.
Yeah. Sick.
Yeah. Okay.
PFT, your hot seat cool tour. That was a very good hot seat cool tour.

Thanks.

That was good.

Who was on the hot seat, though?

Whale haters.

Smaller boats.

Oh, the haters. Smaller boats everywhere.

The haters.

Really, Billy Football wrote a blog saying an angry whale, and that got me angry.

Yeah.

Why was Billy going after the animal?

I think Billy was just, he was casting his own assumptions onto the whale.

It was dirty.

It's a dangerous thing to do. My hot seat is...
He tried to think it was capsizing it on purpose, which is something that killer whales do. That's crazy.
Yeah, but a whale wouldn't do that. Killer whales.
But that's not a whale, is it? They're fish? I don't know. No, killer whales are whales.
Orcas are whales. Again, I don't know.
They got the blowhole, right? I thought I sounded smart. Yeah, they got the blowhole.
You sure about that? Yes. Did you get it in the boating class? Mm-hmm.
I don't know they got the blowhole i thought i started smart yeah they got the blow hole you sure about that yes you took it did you get it in the boating class i just imagine hank doing the boating class being like where the fuck are the questions about the whale what are some other like very elementary boating questions to ask because i think we asked them the two most common ones they didn't know either one why aren't they asking me what i'll do if i see no i was right, I was right about the right-of-way one. Not really.
And the starboard one. No, you weren't.
What kind of knot do you use to tie up your boat? What do you mean? I think that's a pretty easy question, right? When you dock your boat, what kind of knot do you tie? A regular... I don't know the name of the knot.
What is the golden rule of boating etiquette? I don't fucking know. Boat others the way you'd want to be treated.
Yeah, you kind of did it. Do it to others as you would have them do to you, which that's not boating.
That's just a very common phrase. Yeah, that's just life.
Boaters just took that? The boater's code. That was a mean question by PFT.
There are many knots that you can tie to tie up a boat. Yeah.
Okay, I didn't know. I didn't take a boat in class.
You said that was a very easy question. How old do you have to be mandatory to have to wear a life jacket the whole time? Everyone has to wear a life jacket the whole time.
That's just not true. 13? right that sometimes a trick question yeah yeah yeah it's fair yeah uh yeah 13 year olds are required to wear a life jacket at all times when the boat is underway what's faster a mile per hour or a knot like a nautical knot per hour what's rule nine in boating if you're just floating away in the harbor you don't have to use a flare gun no this is this is the problem you missed rule nine rule nine places the obligation on you the small vessel operator to avoid impeding the large vessels while operating in a deep draft channel

or fairway.

That's the small boat rule.

You got to remember rule nine.

Yeah, I mean, the boats that I'm dealing with are like I'm dealing with average size boats.

Okay.

True or false, an F-35 Lightning II can land on an aircraft carrier.

True.

Okay.

You know boats.

Okay.

True or false, you should not shoot a flare off in the harbor true okay yeah you know boats you know boats all right nice passed it i feel like you're nervous that like the boating police are going to listen to this no i mean i've gone on the boat one time this whole summer i'm probably not going to do it again because i've just never used it but what color are coast guard helicopters? Red and white. Aren't they orange? I have no idea.
I feel like Coast Guard rocks orange sometimes. Hopefully I'll never find out.
Yeah. Good point.
Good point. As long as you stay out of the harbor.
You don't need the Coast Guard. Okay.
PFT, your hot seat, Coltrane. My hot seat is Kevin Durant.
Yeah. Kevin Durant.
Because has he played yet? I don't think that he's played in any of the tune-up games. Steve Kerr has said that he's not being sent home, that they need him, that he's going to be their closer at some point.
Yep. Kind of weird that Kevin Durant hasn't played at all yet.
Maybe he's unhappy. Isn't that what we heard about Kevin Durant? Yeah, he could be.
He's unhappy, and he's looking to be traded. He's mad at Nike.
Yeah, mad at Nike, unhappy, and he'd like to be traded to France. Did you see...
Kevin Durant. I feel like USA team, especially nowadays, it's just great controversy that happens.
Did you see Drake? Did I see Drake shared a go team with everyone except LeBron? Or did I make that? LeBron's the oldest guy on the team, so that makes sense. No, because it was not that.
I guess there was a clip where they were playing Not Like Us, and LeBron was like, Steph was like, this song again, this is the only song in the world. I've heard it a million times.
LeBron's like, I could play it a million more. Like, this song fucking rocks.
Love that. So I just saw the beef.
I was like, oh, maybe that's real. Yeah, Drake can't do anything this summer.

No.

He has worse summer by far.

You can't leave the house if you're Drake.

Yeah.

Not because you have to notify your neighbors.

But I think that maybe Steve Kerr just forgot that Kevin Durant's on the team.

Yeah, probably.

It's like home alone.

You get to France.

Kevin.

Kevin.

Hank, is that crazy that you, like, we can say with a matter of fact that you had a far, far better summer than Drake. It is crazy.
That's nuts. Like, it's not even up for debate.
You dominated this summer compared to Drake. It's not over yet either.
Congratulations. You got more winning to do.
My cool throne is true love. True love is on the cool throne because you guys remember our good friend pole assassin the dancer from texas yes and her husband the monkey or her excuse me her boyfriend at the time jeff banks the special team coach on the university of texas and uh pole assassin spelled p-o-l-e she's an exotic dancer her monkey gia uh allegedly bit a small trick-or-treater on Halloween a couple years ago.
Pole Assassin immediately clarified, said that it was clearly labeled, do not pet my pet monkey when you come into our Halloween funhouse. There's a big controversy about that.
They just got married. Oh.
Yeah. So Jeff Banks and Pole Assassin, I don't know if Gia's still with us, but they're married they're they found love steve sarkeesian a bunch of other coaches were at the wedding showing support for the team i love that i love it when a good story gets tied up yeah that's beautiful because for a while it seemed like we didn't know what was going to happen there's lawsuits there's people get arrested seem chaotic well they settled down they got married love pole assassin found love um so shout out to her that's beautiful beautiful.
It's beautiful. I like having a good story every now and again.
That's beautiful. Okay, my hot seats, I have two.
Well, the first one is Tariq Skubal, who is the presumptive Cy Young favorite for the Detroit Tigers, is possibly going to get traded. And it's more a hot seat for me because I think we've told this story.
Maybe we haven't. When we went to Detroit for the draft, an AWO came up to me, handed me an envelope, and he's like, don't open this until I walk away.
And in that envelope it just said, Tariq Skubal, Cy Young, plus 400. And I bet it right then and there.
So I have a plus 400. I think he's like minus 125 now.
but he might get traded to the dodgers okay so that's a problem yep that's a big problem if he gets

traded to the orioles i'm good if he gets traded to the dodgers i'm fine you don't want him in the

national league yeah i mean there's players who have won uh cy young while getting traded

sucklifted it i did cliff lee do it i'm pretty sure he did when he went from the indians to the

phillies um i think cc might have as well johan santana or am i making that up i don't

Thank you. Did Cliff Lee do it? I'm pretty sure he did when he went from the Indians to the Phillies.
I think CeCe might have as well. Did Johan Santana, or am I making that up? I don't think so.
Maybe, though. So it can be done, but you'd have to be incredible, and you also probably have to get traded a little earlier.
So I might be in trouble if he gets traded to the Dodgers. I hope he goes to the Orioles.
But I feel like the voters, at least recently, have become become more tuned into they don't take into account wins and losses nearly as much as they used to yeah but it's like era so if you have like one less start that might not be the worst thing in the world you'd have to be insanely insanely good i'm looking it up right now i'm pretty sure it was yep cliff lee and cc both did it what was cc was it was it the same year no oh wait back-to-back years oh wait no nine oh wait no nine yeah yeah so cc i remember so i'm

looking at right now he was a beast cc was insane because remember he was pitching on three days

rest down that stretch for the brewers cc went to the brewers and he had he was 11 and 2 with a 1

6 5 era in 17 games started that's pretty hard to do yeah what was cliff lee the year that he did it

Thank you. and he was 11-2 with a 1-6-5 ERA in 17 games started.
That's pretty hard to do. Yeah.
What was Cliff Lee the year that he did it? Because they do only vote for what you do in that league. Cliff Lee, I'm looking at right now.
Got to be Indians-Phillies, right? Yeah, yeah, it was Indians-Phillies. But Cliff Lee was 7-4.
Wait. So, wait, the voting is 3-3-9 is three three nine era was there no one else in that oh no he did he win the cyung i don't think no no no it was no he won the cyung in 08 yeah so it was just cc i think so when you get traded to the other league they only base their voting on what you did in your league.
They completely discard anything you did in the AL if you go to the NL. Also, I made this up because CeCe didn't.
Okay. This was bad information by this Reddit post that I guess we both looked at.
Yeah, I mean, I just Googled it. Yeah.
But do you know what I'm saying, Big Cat? Is that the rule? Yeah, if you have... Let's say it again.
Like, if you get traded at the deadline and you have a monster first two-thirds of the season or whatever, and let's say you're, I don't know, 10-1 with a 1.2 ERA, then you get traded, and then after that trade deadline, then you go, I don't know, 6-4, and you have a 3 like 3.1 era they won't give you the award even though you average out to somewhere like i don't know in the twos era no i think that so suckliff did do it i was right about that he had he was four and five for the indians in 1984 and they got traded to the cubs and he was 16 and one and he won the andl cion right because he was so he was so good for the cubs they throw out yeah i think so really good beforehand yeah i think so that probably rocked back in the day if you got traded as a pitcher to the national league yeah it's like one free out yeah it's crazy um yeah the i don't know either way uh my other hot seat was Joe Biden because he might be dead and then my cool throne is what I think he was seen today oh he was yeah he was seen coming off the plane that's always good alright great it's always good when you talk about your president and you're like don't worry he's been seen we saw him someone saw him great okay what about Jimmy Carter that I mean, he doesn't wake up for full days, so who knows. My cool throne is the Wisconsin Badgers because they're finally serving beer at Camp Randall.
It took a very long time, but we're there. That must have been the only place in the state of Wisconsin where you couldn't buy a beer.
It's crazy. I think they probably just did it because they're like, it's going to get too drunk.
But yeah, it's good that finally they're serving beer.

I think they were doing it in some of the VIP areas, but now everyone gets to drink beer.

I like that.

Yeah.

Okay.

Huey.

So I'm going to start with my cool throne.

It'll lead into my hot throne.

Oh, hot throne.

Okay.

Well, hot seat.

Well, you're starting with your cool throne.

Cool throne.

It's going to get hot.

It's going to get hot.

This has never been a good throne. Oh, hot throne.
Okay. So, well, hot seat.
You know. Well, you're starting with your cool throne.
Cool throne. It's going to get hot.
It's going to get hot. This has never been done before.
We're flipping it reversing. It's never been done.
Cool seat. Cool throne.
The WNBA. Okay.
Yeah. With the best ratings of the All-Star game of all time.
The best ratings ever was 1.4 million.

This top 3.4 million.

Wow.

Last year was under 900,000.

So just colossal upgrade over last year's performance in numbers.

I wonder who that could be from.

Might be you.

Maybe.

Talking about it on this show.

Kaitlin, Angel, Huey.

Print the shirt.

Print the shirt.

But my hot seat, coincidentally, the WNBA.

Oh, okay.

That would also lead into the other way around.

You could have done that.

Huh.

I guess you're right.

They won't be playing basketball for four weeks. Okay.
if the 1988 dunk contest was incredible, and then the NBA just didn't happen for four weeks. All the momentum they've gained, just nothing's going to happen.
And Team USA is not even the best team of women in the USA, as we saw this past weekend. So just a colossal mess up from them, but I guess nothing we can do.

That's the part that sucks that they didn't think about. If Caitlin Clark was on Team USA, it wouldn't be four weeks off.

It would be Team USA.

Yeah, now it feels like you're just kind of watching something else.

Damn.

That's tough, yeah.

Caitlin Clark should just live stream herself playing basketball

at the same time the Team USA is.

Just shooting threes.

Yeah, just take all of the viewers. All right, good good job huey um let's do some mount rushmore uh mount rushmore is brought to you by our friends at pepsi saucy stretchy crunchy gooey messy pepsi is an essential part of the most undeniably delicious food moments let Let's face it, Pepsi just makes every bite better.
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Okay.

Mount Rushmore. What is...
Hank!

I blew it.

I blew it. People did not like

the Patrick Mahomes pick. I blew it.

You finished in second to last place again.

I fucking blew it. Hot streak.
I keep blowing it.

I keep blowing it.

So you're not, you're climbing back out of the hole.

Yeah, it's a long season.

Just got to keep my head down, focus.

I just fucking blew it.

So Big Cat unfortunately keeps blowing it,

which is really tough because he's not trying to blow it.

But have you thought that maybe he's trying to blow it?

No, I don't think he would do that.

No, I would never do that.

We also, did you hear what they came up with, Hank and Max came up with as a punishment for Mount Rushmore? No, this was memes. This was memes.
Sorry, memes. We don't have to do it, but we put it in the hat or we could make it the thing.
I don't think I did hear memes. Okay, so here it is.
And I do think that it's a perfect punishment. Maybe in the hat or maybe we say this is just the punishment.
Memes had an idea that the loser of Mount Rushmore has to win a national title in the new college football game on Heisman and can't stop till they do it. Okay.
I don't hate that. It'd be very good stream.
The more you get to the end, the more pressure becomes. And then as soon as you lose, it's like, oh my God.
You got to start over. And you can do any school.
Any school. We said we were going to all pick a school, a big school, and put it in a hat.
And then you had to pick out of the hat. Okay.
And we were going to say offense only because it would take so long

if we did offense and defense.

I think if it's offense only, then...

You'll never win one with defense.

Yeah.

And also offense only makes it so we've done the math.

It's about four and a half hours, five hours for one single season.

So if you do doing offense only, so if you do offensive only,

you should be able to have like five or six cracks at it in a 24-hour stream okay yeah what does everyone think i'm in i think it'd be pretty fun yeah i think it'd be pretty fun and it would definitely do big time numbers i've got to get a coaching staff like you and have 12 people giving me plays well that sounds like you're coming at me a coming at me a little bit. No, it's a great punishment for you.

What do you mean?

I'm bad at the game, and I played All-American.

You guys have more chance to play the game than I do.

Hank, aren't you on his coaching staff?

No, I got fired.

He got fired.

He was laughing at me.

Hank, you realize that you have so much more free time

to get good at this game than I do?

Yeah, I like it.

Let's do it.

You have an infinite amount of free time. The only time I play is when I'm streaming.
I'm never going to get good at this game than I do. Yeah, I like it.
Let's do it. You have an infinite amount of free time.
The only time I play is when I'm streaming. I'm never going to get good at this game.
Let's do it. Hank doesn't have that much free time.
Golf. Vacation.
We could put it in our hat of other punishments. Memes came up with it.
I'm down for that. I think it's the best one.
I do think it's the best one for the viewers. Yes, for the viewers.

I agree with that.

Viewers, it's the best one.

Because also, I always like the streams where you just have to sleep on stream.

Right.

Shit hits the fan.

Do you want me to do, if I lose Mount Rushmore season, I have to do it in Madden?

Because I'm not playing Madden?

No.

Is it an unfair advantage?

No, no, no.

It has to be college football. I think you guys have as much time to play.
You have more time to play. Yeah, I'll get grinding.
Here we go. Come out of the golf time.
There's a part of me that thinks you should have to go undefeated, too. No.
Whoa. No, national championship.
Then you just restart the season. You know how hard Heisman is? Heisman's very hard.
All-American is, I can't win games. It's insane how hard Heisman is.
I may never get out of this. May never.
Okay, I'm down for the punishment. Let's do it.
Add it to the last stream for the people. Okay, so we're doing the Mount Rushmore of breakfast food.
Who's going first? I believe I'm up first. Okay.
I need a good Mount Rushmore. I sucked.
Patrick Mahomes was a cheeky pick that people were very upset, which is good because Mount Rushmore people should get people feeling something. I have a good, I fucked up.
This is going to get confusing. Okay.
Oh, I think I know what your question is. I think that should be i don't think you can i think you can pick different variations there's going to be different eggs yeah that's you can't just say eggs there will be eggs yeah yeah yes there can be variations of of those yeah yes yep they just have to be specifically different okay so i'm up first yes i am going to go waffles love waffles superior to pancakes in every way anyone complain i used to be pancakes but i think i'm you you can't really complain because there's so many more picks still on the board.
If you give your opinion, it gives up picks. All I'll say about waffles is I do think waffles have a significantly higher ceiling, but I think a bad waffle...
Pancakes are hard to fuck up. A bad waffle is really bad.
I agree with that.

It's a little more volatile, but the ceiling is way higher.

But it's rare that you get a bad waffle.

Very rare.

I've had maybe three instances in my life where I'm like, this is a bad waffle.

Waffle is versatile.

You can go sweet.

You can do the whipped cream.

You can do chocolate on there.

You can do strawberries.

Or you can go savory, put some chicken on on there even a little bit of hot sauce

maybe some syrup or honey on there waffles very versatile i love a waffle agreed the nooks and crannies make it okay this is gonna be a tough draft um all right i think this is going to be the second time

I take this

this summer

but I'll do a bacon egg and cheese okay easy good pick it's breakfast i know that it's not a sit-down breakfast i mean we're doing all breakfast bacon egg and cheese yeah i would have thought that was a no-brainer one one yeah shut the fuck up it is the go-to i don't really know when you can have a one. Bacon, egg, and cheese.
I'm going to have to throw this later. I'm going to go similar.
Sausage, egg, and cheese. Okay.
That's kind of a cuck move, like taking the same thing, but you know that it's not as good. Agreed.
Yeah. Yeah.
But we're not getting contentious today. Wait, are you saying that foreplay is better than sex, Hank?

Is that what that was an allusion to?

No.

Okay.

What are you talking about?

All right.

It seemed like you were being spicy with that.

I just said it.

I can't agree with your points now.

Okay.

Gun to your head.

Would you take bacon, egg, and cheese or sausage, egg, and cheese?

Sausage.

Really?

Yeah.

I would take sausage, too.

Interesting.

I love bacon.

I'm going to go-

I love bacon.

I do. Oh.
I'm going to go'm gonna go pancakes okay pancakes for the table yep pancakes pancake house in chicago greatest pancakes i've ever had yeah like that's the thing it's a fluffy pancake that's just oh i'll tell you what when we had fucking love when we had to eat all those pancakes on the live stream those were good i didn't even't even mind it. Yeah, it was great.
I crushed those pancakes. Blueberry pancakes are so good.
I love blueberry pancakes. I like blueberry.
I don't really like chocolate chip pancakes. I think they're a little too much.
I agree with you. Yeah.
I actually, this is going to be the one time we don't sound like the fattest people here. I think the chocolate chip pancakes are too much.
I like the sweetness to come from the syrup. Right.
I don't need it to come from the chocolate. I like having one chocolate chip pancake.
Homemade chocolate chip pancakes are actually better than the ones they make in restaurants because they do too many chocolate chips. Yes.
Yeah. Yes.
What about banana pancakes? Yes. I like bananas on top.
I don't like them in. Strawberries on top of my waffles.
Always good. Whipped cream.
Dude, breakfast is so good. It's the best.
It's great. It's the best.

Now I will go a breakfast burrito. That's a strong one, too.
Good pick, good pick, good pick. French toast.
Mmm. Okay.
Now, what do you think about these places that get real cute with it? They put, like, edible flowers and shit on there. I think that's a lot of places.
Like I think a lot of restaurant breakfast places try and overcomplicate pancakes, waffles, French toast.

Like you don't need that much shit on top.

Maybe some fresh fruit.

They make it palatable for Instagram.

Yeah.

It's like, look at this flower on my French toast.

Like I don't need the whipped cream.

I don't need the flowers.

I don't need.

I just maybe. Whipped cream's good.
Fruit, bananas, maybe some bacon on the side. Yeah.
Yeah. Agreed.
Little powdered sugar. When we go, I got a question.
Okay. I don't want to make it a thing.
Like, can I do a specific order or does it have to be just one by? want to take steak and eggs i i think that's fine that's like a that's like a breakfast a known breakfast meal it's a that's a close one you tell me there's an ant okay then i won't i'm being very i i want to be as i want to be very i'm trying to be fair too yeah i'm being i have to be fair i want to be fair though. I want to be fair.
I want to be as fair as possible. Steak and eggs doesn't count.
That's fine. I have no problem with not doing steak and eggs.
I just wanted to... It is like...
That's a breakfast thing. I'm coming around on it.
Because it's an order. It's a Yeah.
You don't get steak for breakfast, but you do get steak and egg. Right.
Yes. Right.
And there's other things that are like that. Right.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Like there's a thing.
There's another thing out there that will have multiple things in it. Yes.
That can be picked. I think it has to be picked.
Okay. So are we allowing it? Hank was the only one who doesn't want me to.
I think it's fine. I literally never said that.
I'm going to throw it in the fourth. Okay.
All right. You weren't throwing it.
What? No, I'm not. He's not going to throw it in the fourth.
But you just said you were going to. They're cutting that.
Got it. He's going to throw it in the fourth.
Like Patrick Mahomes. I am going to take- I really do.
That was a bad pick by me, but I do think that we glossed over the fact that Hank didn't realize that humans are animals. Yeah, that's very true.
Also- That part was- It was a bad pick. A hand up.
Bad pick. Got a little cute.
Hank did not know humans were animals. Yeah.
Also, Mount Rushmore season, there used to be a ton of cute picks.

Yeah.

If you go back.

Yeah, we did.

We've whittled it down.

Yeah.

So one cute pick stands out.

I own it being a bad pick, but I think the shock that Hank had, I think there was probably

some listeners, too, that didn't realize humans are animals.

You didn't know that?

No.

Okay.

I'm impressed that you're live.

Same. Yeah.
Good job. Maybe not.
I just had to get it off my chest. Again, bad pick.
I own it. But yeah, humans are animals.
Okay. Okay.
Next up, I'm going to go breakfast tacos. I think breakfast tacos are better than breakfast burritos.
Wow. Breakfast tacos are elite.
They're my favorite. You can grab two of them.
Max. You can grab three.
If you're hungry, you grab four. Your response, your retort.
In Austin, you are correct. Yep.
But the rest of the country, breakfast burrito is always better than a breakfast taco. Yeah.
I don't know the rest of the country. Where have you had a good breakfast taco outside of Austinin i had a good breakfast taco here really good breakfast taco but how many how many places have you had a good breakfast burrito everywhere i also had a good breakfast yesterday literally yesterday morning yeah i had a great breakfast tacos are good but they're they're like a they're a treat for certain parts of the country i like both the only thing i'll say that that sways me towards burrito is that as a spill guy, I like to not start my day off with a spill.
So what I like about the breakfast taco is you can meter out your dipping sauce or your salsa more accurately on a breakfast taco than you can a burrito where you have to go like sauce, bite, sauce, bite. Oh, I like the sauce bite, though.
Yeah. Or you can get the sauce in there.
You get a fresh bit of sauce in every bite. What, fresh sauce makes a difference? No, because sometimes if you let it sit for a little bit, it'll get a little soggy.
Not if you eat a breakfast taco and it's like three bites. Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, I like breakfast tacos.
I'm not. Okay.
Both are great. You're the one who's coming at my pick.
I said I liked your pick. Well, it's a big rivalry.

Here's the thing.

There has not been a pick that I wouldn't eat.

Yeah.

That's really what it comes down to.

It's a strong draft.

It's all things we want.

Okay.

Next up, I'm going to go with hash browns.

Hash browns are so good.

Good pick.

When they're crispy, thin. Waffle House hash browns.
Can I specify Waffle House hash browns. Hash browns are so good.
When they're crispy, thin.

Waffle House hash browns. Can I specify Waffle House hash browns?

Yeah.

Waffle House hash browns.

Smothered, covered, chunked, diced, peppered.

Okay.

As your whole meal?

Yeah, they make actually big hash browns.

You can load them up with meat and stuff too.

And Hank, these are breakfast foods. It's not breakfast meal.
Yeah. As a category.
Just FYI. I was hoping it would stick to me.
It would stay to me. And I know people would be like, well, you can't really have a whole meal like that.
But donuts. Donuts are breakfast food.
And they're delicious. And I love them.
And I love Donut Day every Saturday every saturday nothing i mean it's a good pick oh whoa max has got his fingers crossed what was that he's hoping the next one gets to him is that what i was max talk we're a podcast it's fine he's nervous you are you hoping something gets to you i gets to me. Do you think donuts is a bad pick? Donuts is a great pick.
Is omelet what you're worried about? Did you take omelet? I'm taking omelet. Love that you took omelet.
Bagel and cream cheese going this way. Oh! I thought you were going to take meatballs.
Omelet's a good pick. Omelet was what I was talking about.
Omelet, you obviously have a bunch of stuff in it Like that's what makes an omelette an omelette That was kind of what I was saying We're going to get to something that Bagel and cream cheese Bagel and cream cheese is just like a Standard Such a great way to start your morning Not too much I'm just so outm out manned in these food and my i the well shout out pepsi the response of the food this isn't like super difficult though it's breakfast everyone loves breakfast i know but i just i i eat just to fill my stomach these guys eat for passion and love i was gonna say max would it be offensive if i took my last pick as a backup bagel? Because I would like a backup bagel. A backup bagel is great.
Dude, I did a backup bagel at home the other day, like on a Sunday. I literally just had a bagel and then went back and just got a half.
It was like, great. It's a good ratio.
Okay. It's my last one now and i'll finish with eggs benedict um yep i had that on my list okay that's another dish that sometimes gets cute with it yeah but like a good solid i'm not a big guy it's for me that's like a treat like if i'm going to like a brunch yeah and they have like they're known for their eggs bened It always tastes good.
How do you get your eggs?

Aren't they just poached eggs?

Yeah, poached eggs.

Oh, you mean in general.

Yeah.

I thought you were asking on an Egg Benedict.

On Eggs Benedict, they're usually poached, but you can specify.

How do you guys get your eggs normal?

If you say two eggs, side of bacon. I'm always scrambled.

Scramby's raw.

Really?

I go over easy.

Yeah, over easy, fried. Over easy with a side of toast.
Yeah. That's the difference between men and boys.
Right there. Yeah, I don't like over easy.
Sometimes I like. You eat little scrambled eggs.
Yeah, I like scrambled eggs. Scrambled eggs are good.
Yeah, have some more scrambies. Scrambies.
Come sit next to my kids and have some scrambled eggs while I eat a fucking over easy egg like a man. You probably just don't know how to make good scrambled eggs.
As you were saying, you realize how stupid it was, too. That wasn't even the question.
It's literally the easiest thing in the world to make. No, no, no, no, no.
I mean, there's good scrambled eggs and there's bad scrambled eggs. Yeah, it's like Hotel Continental Breakfast scrambled eggs.
Yeah, but that's because it's sitting out. Once I learned the Gordon Ramsay method of making scrambled eggs, it completely- What's Gordon Ramsay? You just call everyone in the room a cunt.
No, you got to constantly stir it. Constantly stir it.
Yeah, you go- You add a little milk. You stir it on- No, no milk.
Oh, I add a little milk. I add a little milk and cheese.
Yeah, yeah. You can add a little bit of milk.
He does creme fraiche. So you do, it's like 15 seconds on the heat, then take it off 15 seconds while you're stirring off the heat.
Right. And then back on the heat, go back and forth.
I've had a little milk. They make it a little fluffier.
Yeah. I don't like the milk.
It's good. You should try it.
You don't even notice it. You stir it in.
Yeah. Okay.
Hank, last pick. You're not happy with your draft.
What do you have so far? He's got omelet. Sausage, egg, and cheese.
Yep. Omelet.
Yep. French dough.
French dough. Yeah, that's a good board.
I'll play it safe. You know what I think the matter is here? You're not getting the votes because you're down.
You're not confident. I don't care about the votes.
No, I just, I can, when I hear these guys talk about food, I realize how outmatched I am. It's like you go and you're a good D2 team and you go play a D1 team and you're like, oh, these guys are just bigger.
PFT likes to talk about food too. I love talking about food.
Yeah. You just had your tacos and burritos.
I'll go bacon. Okay.
Good pick. Okay.
Classic. I don't know if this is going to fuck fuck me or not but it feels like just an enormous omission because when you think of breakfast you think of like what everything you're saying cereal yeah cereal yeah i like i eat cereal every day so i thought about cereal it's a great breakfast food it's it's breakfast soup yeah i mean i i i know what this draft is like we're obviously talking about like going to a diner but like when i think breakfast cereal is my is what comes to mind cereals better at night than the morning i don't know i eat a shitload of cereal yeah it's a very hot i eat a lot of cereal i it's just it's old it's steady and reliable yeah so there have been many mornings where i've got the time i can sit down and make myself myself a nice egg over easy.
I can even poach it, do like a little side of hash browns or whatever. And I look at the Honey Nut Cheerios in my cabinet.
Yeah. And I'm just like, Honey Nut Cheerios really can't be topped.
Yeah. I feel like, because when I was writing out the list, I was like, wait, cereal? Yeah, cereal's a breakfast food.
What the fuck? You might have fucked yourself by accident, though, like, how cereal shows up on the graphic. I don't know.
I mean, it just is the most consistent breakfast food. But, yeah, I might have fucked myself.
And then Hank would be. Yeah.
That'd suck. You guys, the cereal I've been rocking recently, if you can find it's not at every single store, peanut butter Chex.
Oh, okay. Incredible.
I love Chex. And peanut butter.
And peanut butter. And it's so good pft it's fucking you can't you know it's good because it's not at every store and then when you see it you'll be like all sold out when i see a peanut butter checks at a store usually target has it i'll buy like five boxes yeah and you know cereal is good when there's types of cereals that your parents won't let you have.
Yeah. Because they're too good.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. All right, my last one.
This is maybe my favorite item that you can purchase at a fast food restaurant in the entire world. Oh.
The Taco Bell Breakfast Crunch Wrap. Mmm.
It is so fucking good. See, Hank, you could have picked this.
It is so good. I'm going to order one tomorrow.

So good.

It's elite.

It's got eggs.

You can get sausage in there, cheese, some sort of weird sauce that they don't tell you

about, and then it's got hash browns inside, and it's in the crunch rack.

Good pick.

Very good pick.

Yeah, thank you.

Very good pick.

All right, what did we miss?

I was going to do beer until I...

That would have been like Mahomes.

You would have gotten killed for it.

Yeah.

I should have done beer.

Can I switch my last one to beer?

Cereal.

Oh, shit.

You ever have beer-ial?

No, that always sounded so gross.

I have a lot of beer-ial.

It sounds cooler to say I had beer-ial.

Yeah.

Brown cinnamon sugar Pop-Tarts.

Yep, I had Pop-Tarts on there.

Sausage gravy. Yep.
That was what I was thinking of when you said I was thinking biscuits and gravy that's why I was like if you do steak and eggs you got to be able to do biscuits and yes yes cinnamon rolls sticky buns banana bread zucchini bread McGriddle PFT honestly one of my favorite breakfast is when we had in Austin the the Migas. Yeah, Migas.
It's a breakfast taco. It's a very...
Well, it's not a taco. It's like...
Well, it comes with side tortillas, and you scoop the Migas into the tortillas. Oh, wait, I might be thinking.
What are the ones where they're like the chips, and you put the eggs? Yeah, it's Migas. That was unbelievable.
Those were so good. I've never...
I haven't had it since, but I've been thinking about it. A little free tip to people out there.
You're making your own Migas at home. You just make eggs, and then you crumble up.
First, you put cheese on top after it's done cooking. Then you crumble up some Flamin' Hot Cool Ranch Doritos on top, and then you're in heaven.
And then thank me later. Chilaquiles.
Have you guys ever had that? Yes, delicious. Chilaquiles.
Basically, breakfast nachos. Yeah.
I think that. I like home fries sometimes more than hash browns.
What's the difference? It's like the potatoes are not, they're like chunks of potatoes. Oh, no.
No thanks. Yeah.
With a little, it's like if it's cooked correctly, it's like there's some onions and peppers and it's like kind of cooked crisply. I go to this one place.
I don't want to say the location because i don't want to blow up the spot because it's that good but the home fries are part the potatoes are cooked perfectly what about just breakfast sausage in general yeah i love breakfast sausage yeah um what else yeah banana bread was a was big oh muffins too blueberry muffin muffins are good how do we feel about parfait parfaits. Love a parfait.
I feel like I'm in the minority. I don't know.
I feel like people just look down at yogurt. Yeah.
I like oatmeal, bananas, and strawberries, but I don't think that's a sexy pitch. Yeah.
I love a good parfait, but there's nothing worse than a parfait when you run out of granola. I need the right ratio.
Right. Because the granola makes it look like it's super healthy.
And also the granola, you get that crunch. You're not just eating.
Just eating yogurt is very... It's kind of bleh.
Yeah. But with the parfait and some fruit.
Parfait is good. It's refreshing.
Very refreshing. It's very light.
Good summertime. Body took a shower.
How do we feel about European breakfasts?

Oh, with the beans?

Beans on toast.

We want a war for that.

British people, here's the most fucked up thing about Great Britain,

besides the fact that they eat beans on toast.

They also make blood pudding for breakfast.

So if you have a traditional English breakfast,

it's this red disc that comes out and it's just filled with guts.

Yeah. And they let it congeal into almost like a loaf of blood.
I've had that before. I've had it.
The black pudding. It's fine.
Yeah. I have a trustee thing that I know that is gross to most people that I have, like, a couple times a week, and that's, like, cottage cheese and blueberries for breakfast.
I never got into cottage cheese. I know that, like, I love it.
I've been having it since I was, like, a kid, and that's like cottage cheese and blueberries for breakfast i never got into i know that like i love it i've been having it since i was like a kid and it's kind of gotten like a viral thing on like tiktok recently because it's very like it's very high in protein cottage yeah yeah i i love it i'll just do like a bowl of cottage cheese and blueberries there's yeah i love everything about cottage cheese cheese except for how it tastes yeah i like and and i trust people like a bowl of cottage cheese and blueberries. I love everything about cottage cheese, except for how it tastes.

Yeah.

And I trust a lot of people, like Max,

that I trust their food opinions.

They love cottage cheese.

It's like Radiohead for me.

I respect everything about Radiohead.

People that I know that have good taste in music

really enjoy Radiohead, just can't listen to it.

I love Radiohead.

I respect that.

I respect your love of Radiohead.

I appreciate your respect.

I appreciate your respect.

Okay, anything else we missed?

Huey, you got any?

Huey, anything?

Go ahead.

No.

Okay, all right.

I had one cheeky pick that I've learned my lesson

that the AWLs don't want me to do too crazy, but I think it's an elite breakfast. Cold slice of pizza.
So good. I think that would have played.
Yeah. I don't know.
I'm gun shy now. Yeah.
But cold slice of pizza, it's zero calorie. Tastes great.
Just put a little hot sauce on it. Yeah.
It's great. I having pizza for breakfast it's very good yeah it's very very good um okay let's get to our interview we got nate bargazzi uh great interview with him pft you got a couple ads before we do that yeah before we get to nate he's brought to you by our good friends over at game time can we look up see what the uh who are the cubs playing this week uh we are playing the brewers and so today you can buy afternoon game then we're going to kansas city for the royals okay 25 bucks tomorrow 25 bucks tomorrow today to get in at wrigley yes that's a great deal use game time go see a cubs game go see a baseball game it's summertime perfect time to duck out of work and just sneak off go see a ball game go after work with GameTime they are the official ticketing partner of Barstool Sports you shouldn't have to worry when you buy tickets to your next big event GameTime is the fast and easy way to buy tickets to all the sports music comedy and theater events near you they have flash deals for sudden discounts zone deals for when you're feeling flexible, and their lowest price guarantee means that if you can find the same seats for less anywhere else, GameTime will credit you 110% of the difference.
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For do-it-yourself projects to road trips, off-road adventures to tailgates, whatever your thing is, it all starts with a Chevy truck. And now here's Nate Bargatze.
Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest, recurring guest. It is our Chill Week interviews presented by Chevy Silverado and Coors Light.
It's comedian Nate Bargatze. Thank you, boys.
One of the funniest guys in the world. Well.
Well. Well.
His mom likes me. Yeah.
My mom is a massive fan fan i always would say i'm a i'm a parents comics parent you've heard you've heard the uh the phrase comics comic yeah like i'm a i'm a comics parents comic yeah like because all the comedians if they were like dirty they would always tell they'd be like well go watch nate and because i would be clean yeah so like all the yeah, I do well with parents.

Parents can be like, my son, he

does this, this exact same thing.

Yeah, I gotta start sending your clips

to my mom because I sent her some

Shane Gillis and she's like, what's wrong with you?

It's a lot.

What's going on?

Alright, so

the golf tournament, we're going to run this

next week or the week after so you have already played. Do you want to make a prediction on where you finish? I wouldn't say I'll be in the positives of the – it's Stableford.
Yeah, scoring. So I think I'll be positives.
I forget what I was. I might have been positive six last time.
I think I can get to positive double digits this time. How's the game looking? Because you golf a lot.
I do, but we just got done. I did a 200-city tour, and so I haven't got to play a ton.
But over the last week or two weeks, I've played pretty hard every day just to get ready for this. So it's okay.
Yeah. But it's not anything crazy.
Yeah, I mean mean the good news is out here like if you have a bad shot it's not like oh there's nate bargazzi like nfl starting quarterback yes you get that you get that you get a little leeway where as a comic i think you do i thought about that the other day i was thinking because it's like as a comic you can you're just funny so you can do something that's i mean really and you embarrass your family and then there you're like hey he goes hey i'm a fun guy though and they're like yeah that guy's a good guy yeah you should you should have like a colored handkerchief that you put like you shank a shot you're like haha yeah that's what my dad's out with me he's a magician so i have him just walk with me and then if people get distracted he's like oh pick a car he goes and talks to the crowd help you cheat like yeah drop a golf ball out of nowhere yeah wait is your dad caddying for you no my brother is okay but he's out here your dad is very very funny he's he does a lot of your shows and he's uh yeah he's just the best yeah he is yeah yeah you feel uh any pressure to be funny though on the golf course like if you're paired group, you don't have the expectation of an athlete, but it's like, well, Nate Bergasi, he's going to crack us up all day. Yeah, yeah.
We used to more when – because you would be booked as a comic and no one would know you. Not saying that they all know me now, but earlier you get there and, I mean, these dudes are like, ugh.
Like, you know, you're like, hey, I'm a comedian. And it's pretty hard to be funnier than those four guys that are best friends.
Right, yeah. So you kind of like learn.
You're like, yeah, I can't top. You guys have a history.
Yeah. You don't know who I am.
And so it's hard to top it. So then you just learn to kind of tell stories or something you just try to talk about stuff we were we were out yesterday we're in a random foursome with Kyle Yushek he's a fullback in the NFL but the other guys they were close friends and one guy you could tell he spent this entire year reading like golf one-liners like semi-dirty one-liners say after every type of missed shot possible and this guy was just ready to go locked and loaded with them and no stand-up comedian can compete with that you can't you know when someone's uh you miss a putt and someone uh there's a guy he says that reminds me of my first teacher my first grade teacher miss reed and they're always funny and like even though you hear them a hundred times when you tap the ball off the tee that's the oldest and you go that's one it's always really funny yeah it does and so it's tough to top them yeah like you could tell the funniest joke in the world and then like Joe farts in Frank's backswing and that's put that on an album and it's platinum that's why golf like videos are so big on social media you know

with foreplay and everything like it's uh it's so funny dude it's and golf is so specific that if

you are into it and get it it's so hard of a thing that it is the ball can you know i remember being

a driving range with my buddy a long time ago and he is a driver and he swings and it just goes

straight sideways and just hits the people it's almost almost like something that's like, well, that's not even possible to do, but golf is so beautiful. You're like, you can hit a ball completely sideways, maybe backwards.
There are infinite amounts of ways to screw up on a golf course. The videos that we've been seeing a lot recently is the honking the horn in the the backswing yeah you don't like it i think it's i don't think you know comedy yeah that's true i don't think i do it is so funny yeah i know it's uh you like golf too much like we i like it but it's like but how quick does it you see two videos of it then you're like all right oh no no it gets hours.
It gets better. Yeah, this is nuance to it.
I have a dumb brain. I have a longstanding rule.
If you show me a puke video, I'll cry laughing. There's something about it.
But yeah, the honking and the fad a few years ago where guys were hitting each other with golf carts, we were very clear we didn't want that to happen. But if you showed me a video of you hitting your friend with a golf cart, I will yeah because it's funny yeah that that that was a wild trip i mean full speed yeah dave put a bounty on riggs's head then oh yeah because they wanted riggs was like we can't be posting these on the barstool account yeah and dave was like if anyone hits riggs with a golf card i'll give him 20 grand jeez that's probably a crime but yeah no it's like the nfl the nfl the it's bounty game y'all have your own bounty game yeah we did which with the car you don't like the honking videos uh i've seen it i don't like i don't know i mean it's like i get it it's like just i think it's like you're like all right i get it that's fun and then you just kind of moves on that's the hard part with social media and like the funny jokes is like it all is very funny but it's like you're like, all right, I get it.
That's fun. And then you just kind of moves on.
That's the hard part with social media and the funny jokes. It's like it all is very funny, but it's just this kind of funny moment, and then it goes crazy.
And then it's like, all right, what's the next thing? It's all about the guy's reaction too. The honking is not the funny part.
It's the guy who gets so angry and will throw a club at the car, and I'll just be like, that was great. That was great that was a peak of comedy that's when you're in some golf courses you can tell like when you see the courses where there's fights and all this stuff you're just like those are some real deal public courses where you're like yeah dude dudes are in jeans yeah yeah you're like people are gonna fight yeah you don't hit into like unless you're prepared to fight another four men i mean it's a war it is it's like braveheart it's like we're gonna just go four on four and run at each other and it's like you you might not even know everybody in your foursome but if it's a fight you gotta it's jets versus sharks you gotta have to i think you have to stay yeah the hardest is when you get paired up with a random i I'll see some of those videos that are funny, where they get stuck with some dude that's terrible.
Because that was the biggest fear of me forever. No one likes it.
No one likes it. You don't like to show up and you're just like, you've got to play with this dude.
Yeah. You're the guy slowing it down.
You're the guy who's in the woods the whole time. That's my whole life.
Yeah like that literally you're describing me i'm good i'm good you sure man you want to we'll look for it no no no they start helping you look for it and you're like guys just please yeah go to your ball i'll just play your ball yeah yeah i don't want you in here no let's look for a second we have time just go to your ball dude i want to live my life and not find it i i got a good one for you that i had never heard on the golf course so i caddied for a few holes for blake griffin this morning and he hit a shot it was a terrible shot went all the way into the woods the guy who was it was a pro-am the guy playing with us goes that was a great shape of your shot and i was like what he was complimenting it's like the shape of the shot was incredible but it was like a terrible shot yeah so i think i'm gonna start saying that whenever someone has a bad shot just like great shape though yeah i don't even know what that means it's like good swing or it's you know it's like curved a little yeah you committed to it i think it means from like you're like oh thanks man you go thanks man yeah scientific you gotta You gotta re-tee it. Yeah, right.
Yeah, but you committed. From three, but hey.
Yeah. If you think about just like from physics, it is impressive that he was able to make the ball spin so hard.
Yeah. It just went right into the woods.
He's like, great shape. Yeah.
I mean, a person that has never played golf can go make a ball spin. Like, it's really crazy.
Yeah. It is.
Yeah. Yeah.
You talked about like a random part. I think that's what kept me away from playing golf for so long was just you have to play with you have to go out there and meet a new friend yeah you're gonna hang out with for four hours i actually did try to play one time back in like 2012 i was like i'll try golf i go out on the course and i'm so bad and the guy that i'm with after about eight holes he's like i'm just gonna i'm gonna go home and we're gonna play 18 to play 18.
He was there for four hours. And he just said, you know what? I'm done.
I'm done for today. And then I was like, well, now I'm just never going to play golf again.
It was such a miserable experience. I played in like I did one mid-am, like mid-amateur.
I'm an eight handicap. That's good.
It's good. You're talking to guys that are very's but uh I played in one mid-am a while a long time it was I think it was during COVID and there's we played and so that's like a real tournament so you have to play you know you got to put everything in you're it's rules it's like a PGA event but for amateurs and so this guy's playing with us and we get to he's just playing horrible and then we get to hole, and it's a par three.
He hits it in the water, then hits it in the sand, and then out of the bunker gets into the water again and comes back. So, I mean, he's already pretty much done.
And then right when we finish, he just takes his hat off. He goes, boys, I've got a long drive ahead of me.
I'm going to get on out of here. He shook her hand and just left the tournament.
So me and my friends say it all the time. We're like, boys, I got a long drive.
We'll get on out of here. He just bounced.
I respect that. Yeah, I respect that.
I mean, he looked it up and was like, dude, I'm going to shoot 120 out. I might as well just beat traffic.
There is no traffic because there's 40 of us out there. But I did that.
i famously uh i like to fuck with the internet and i'll put on the scorecard whatever i just feel like putting like i played like a month ago and i had i think my score was like minus six on the front nine and i still shot a 92 and i was like just tweeted like really got away from me in the back nine everyone's like damn dude you shot a minus so i went out and played shinnecock which was incredible and i decided to just say i shot a 72 and everyone was like holy shit but when i was playing shinnecock i was so bad i didn't want to ruin everyone else's time i just like didn't play half the holes yeah i just was like you guys just shoot like i'll just walk with you that's but and that's the way it should be done yeah to be like you do that where because sometimes people play like a very nice course and if they're not good and they're like well i want to put everything out and get a real score you're like we don't need to see your 150 yeah right right just just if your ball goes out of bounds drop it where mine is and write down your score from there no one's yeah you know write down a 72 if you want yeah like i did yeah the fedex cup's not watching yeah right kind of zero on holes that you didn't play. Yeah.
That counts. You're not lying.
You got a zero. Yeah.
And then you shoot a 48. Yeah, right.
Exactly. I feel pretty good about myself.
I feel pretty good. Genius scoring.
Is there a guy that you're competing against this week? Like, is there a guy that you really want to beat? Usually the comedians you want to do better than. Who else is out here? So Cable Guy, Ray Romano, Colin Jost.
Okay, yeah, we've got to beat them. Yeah, and so usually the comics are the ones you kind of look at that you want to beat.
I'm trying to think if there's, you know, I always do a game with Larry Fitzgerald, and so we'll do like a side game. And so, like, his, he beat me.
I beat him when I played AT 18th team pebble beach but he destroyed me here last year so so it's revenge so i gotta yeah yeah yeah so i'll come back i'll find him yeah he'll get a few games going who's yeah who's the best stand-up comedian golfer uh santino oh yeah he might be he might be a two i mean i'm sure there's some there's a good. Court McCown is another guy, another comic,

and he caddied in PGA for a little bit.

And then Santino, I want to say, is two to four range.

Yeah, he's good.

Yeah, and I've played with him.

He's real.

He's legit.

Who's the worst?

Stavi?

Yeah, I've never seen him play. I'd imagine You know, you get a swing around, all that.
I mean, I know John Daly did it, but he doesn't. I feel like his whole body, just everything's in the front.
And it's all. It's like too much front.
There's no. You see him in the back, and you're like, that guy's in shape.
And then you look in the front, and you're like, it's all there. That's where it's at.
all there because he kept it he moved it up yeah yeah yeah the uh all right so you had an incredible 2024 i know it's not over yet or 2023 into 2024 200 wait you said you did a tour of 200 cities uh 200 shows 200 shows how many cities it was like uh i mean 7500 yeah 100 probably 150 cities, something. So are you, after such an incredible last year, which I would imagine was the best year of your career by far, and are you hitting the reset or are you like, strike while the iron's hot, I got to stay out there? I'm going to take a year off.
So I probably have 20 shows left this year that are kind of sporadic, but but the big bulk of the tour is done and so i'll just do some fairs and casinos and some stuff like that yeah uh and i will be off until probably in for the u.s i probably won't go back out again until june july next year so i'm talking about a year off yeah so is that is that specifically i'm always curious with this with with comics like your comedy especially is being a regular guy yeah if you're on the road all the time you're no longer a regular guy so are you doing that intentionally like i have to just go back to live my life and i'll get new material absolutely you got to go home you got to go hang out with your buddies that you know are not in this industry and so i just go back i mean that you know and i'm from nashville i wanted to move back to nashville the big reason to be back in nashville was to make sure i don't write like everybody else everybody you know your jokes can kind of your uh point of view is different because you're just in a different position yeah than everybody so it just sounds different yeah and uh so yeah i'll go back and, you know and i there's a lot of stuff i've got i'm doing but it's like it overall it's like i'm trying to uh get ready and get this new hour and get it figured out yeah have you found yourself has there ever been a moment where you like start a complaint you're like god damn it um this is not me anymore like you know oh it's like relating to someone like oh it's like when they don't put this on your rider like you know they don't put this in your green room and you and you have to stop yourself and be like shit no one can relate to this yeah no yeah i'm trying to think i mean i'm sure there it's yeah because it happens naturally you just talk about your own life it happens it happens well i yeah i try to be aware of that and not have it i used to do a joke about uh get i think i did it somewhere but getting recognized at the beginning because people would always like they like i would take a picture with someone but then once i take the picture with you then then i have to then explain who i am to like 30 people yes because people are like well what was that yeah and uh i think i did this but then one guy was it was at the airport and this one guy worked at the airport he goes well who are you yeah i'm a comedian he goes is there any money in that like he told me like he would do it yeah it was like like i'm a plumber and he's like how's that going now you go yeah it's a good business now, man. I think you should get in on it, dude.
And I go, right now is the time. I just took a picture.
I had a golf tournament I did for my high school. And it's the Nate Burgazzi golf tournament.
And I'm sitting there in the same golf cart. These two guys in the same group.
One kid comes up, and he was taking a picture of me. He's nervous.
He's kind of shaking. And I take a picture with him, and he's like, we're just big fan, whatever.
And then the guy in the next cart comes up, and he goes, so you still doing it? I go, yeah, still bouncing around. He's at a golf tournament with my name on it.
Yeah, still plugging along. Maybe he thought that was the end, where it's like when you come home and do a golf tournament like it's over the end is usually

when your name is on a golf yeah right exactly yeah like oh he's he went like basically like when Pablo Escobar goes back to Medellin or wherever he was the Pablo Escobar golf tournament yeah no but you're like I'm going back to home like this is my crew here it's all I got left yeah like you know that analogy didn't really work for me well no it's also I liked the fact that he had a golf tournament.

He did.

He did.

It's a classic end of inspirational movies. You finally accomplish your lifelong dream.
You had some tough times. You make it.
And now at your point, my own golf tournament. It's a happily ever after.
At least you get to say comedian because we always joke. There is no thing worse.
There's nothing worse in the world than when someone asks you what to do and you have to say, I have a podcast. Yeah.
You feel like the biggest douchebag ever because that is something that everyone's like, is there money in it? And they're actually asking like, are you doing okay? Like, do you need help? Yeah. Well, they do you full time.
You probably get like full time. Yeah.
It is my job. What else do you do? What do you seriously do? During the day., full-time? Yeah.
Yep, it is my job. I'm like, what else do you do?

What do you seriously do?

Yeah.

During the day.

Yeah, you get, yeah.

People can't imagine making money outside of a traditional way sometimes,

and so it's hard.

Like, you'd be on a plane sometimes.

A lot of comics would just make up a job, just something to,

because you know it's going to be like,

well, what am I going to have to talk to this guy about?

I did that a couple weeks ago. Somebody asked me what i did i said uh i bought a lot of bitcoin so i just said i was a crypto bro and then i did not expect a follow-up question from that person about crypto and i was i had no idea what to tell them yeah i was like that's the tough that's where you gotta be real careful yeah lucky uh you gotta pick a job that you had before yeah yeah yeah well i got lucky's your answer yeah i got you know just got in dude my problem is when i when i feel like i don't want to say podcast i just go to the previous job as blogger and i'm like yeah that's been around longer like blogger is something that they're like oh yeah you're a blogger that's yeah that's almost like uh mainstream media at this point blogging so yeah i think so blogging still i think blogging took over for...
I don't think you hear the word blogging. Is it still? Yeah, I think so.
Blogging still?

I think blogging took over for-

I don't think you hear the word blogging.

No, not anymore?

Yeah, I would be like, ew.

Yeah, I mean-

I would be like, my God.

It doesn't feel good either way.

I didn't have to follow up with, why don't you try to start a podcast?

Something else.

You're like, yeah, maybe I'll give it a go.

Yeah, that's a good point.

Yeah, I should podcast.

Just never say influencer.

Yeah. Influencers, yeah, that might be the worst.
10 years from now now do you think if someone's gonna say influencer they're like oh cool oh it's yeah that's a brutal one dude yeah yeah because yeah who are you influencing yeah it's also if you say that's your job description you're basically calling all of your audience a bunch of marks yeah you're like they'll do anything i tell them to do yeah yeah yeah that and asking someone to come on your podcast also sucks just being like who yeah being like hey can you come on my podcast oh yeah it's it's never feels good yeah yeah i mean you have a very successful podcast i don't know i mean you don't yeah i mean ours is coming around no it's good crazy yeah i mean it's also i love the vibe of it because it's your friends yeah yeah yeah which is how we we don't have guests that's we have four and i've liked that because yeah you don't have to i didn't want to feel like i needed to invite buddies and make them feel like they have to come do it and then if one of the guys is out i'll just have like someone that i'm actually friends with right so it's like a fun yeah so it's a real authentic thing and it doesn't feel like you're just like i don't know how to talk to like some of these a celebrity you're like i don't dude i'm not i don't know this person yeah that's the agenda for the podcast who sets it yeah do you guys write that down yeah they just the brian bates who's on it he usually will come up with a topic and then just look up stuff. And then we're just trying to talk.

It's kind of a, we always say it's a show, like Seinfeld, like a show about nothing.

Yeah.

So we're just like, we just talked about sharks last week.

And then we just, we're just trying to do jokes and get going and, you know, just blow off things.

Did you watch that shark attack video?

No.

I mean, I can't, I like kind of saw it because you could see like a leg or something.

And then I got, I changed quick. Twitter now is leg or something, and then I changed quick.

Twitter now is just...

Dude, Twitter's getting...

It's insane.

It's insane.

They're showing you stuff, and you're,

A, these streamers.

Why do I got to know speed?

You've seen speed?

Yeah.

I didn't really know what he's doing,

but I don't really know.

But I mean, it's everywhere.

Everywhere.

And that dude was in other countries. He's getting mobbed and yeah and then i'm like what is happening yeah and it is it makes you feel old when you're like dude there's a whole thing i don't even know yeah yeah anything about yeah and it's a point you gotta be like i i don't know if i have time to like fully understand what this is about yeah and everybody goes to that as you're a you just go like i think i'm i think i'm kind of done yeah this is i'm gonna do stuff yeah yeah you're like and i i just don't yeah it's good well y'all should do it that's all i think it's nice to every now and then just like willingly say you know what i'm not gonna learn about this yeah and just let it go well you can see it when kids like you even at an event like this uh the athletes they go up to yeah and like who they want you know versus like we see john elway steve you know and then the other guys see josh allen they see the younger and that's like they and they can see john elway and they're like i don't even know who's that just an old man yeah yeah and then their day it's like you know you don't know who he is but yeah yeah uh twitter is like i i think it's just rotting all of our brains because i'll go on and like it'll be, here's a person getting hit by a bus.
Here's a person on fire. I saw another one where it was just a guy who had a picture of his heroin that he was about to do before he started a stream.
And I was like, what is going on? You shouldn't be desensitized to all that stuff. Yeah.
Because you shouldn't be seeing it. And then if you happen to see something in real life, like you just don't care that it's a human being.
You have to opt into it when we were growing up. You'd have to go to those, like, there were, like, weird websites.
Everybody had one friend that knew, like, the grossest website, Rotten.com. Rotten.com.
And then it's like, I don't want to go to Ricky's house. He's going to make me look at LiveLeak all night.
E-bombs world. E-bombs world, yeah.
now it's like, you go on Twitter, you watch the video, and then the next one that Otto plays, it's like, here's Ukraine. Here's a drone attacking a Russian.
Yeah, you liked watching this guy die? Well, we've got more death videos for you. You watch like a half-court shot, and then they're like, here's a family dying.
And then Twitter's like, we're just trying to get, what are you into? We're trying, here we go. We're trying to get a feel free here.
Like, I don't think I'm that, I don't think I'm that big of a scale. I think I would like it tightened up a little bit.
Yeah. Pretty bad cat videos.
Just some puppies running around every day. Yeah.
But the worst is I know when I click on it, like, my fascination is there. So, like, the shark video, I saw the woman's leg.
It was horrific. I clicked on it.
And after I clicked on it, I was like, shit, I know the algorithm just got me. I'm going to see a lot of legs fall off soon.
Like that's coming. Yeah, I try to flick past stuff to see if I can get the algorithm off me.
Yeah, right. Shake the algorithm.
Shake the algorithm. You're just like, no, no.
And then you start. I feel like you see it start coming down.
It's pretty weird. It's pretty, yeah.
It's crazy to watch. It's crazy to watch.
I think you're on the right track. Like, if you go on Instagram, you just like enough dog posts.
Next thing you know, the For You page is just cute puppies. Oh, yeah, mine's all just big titties and, like, cheeseburgers.
Yeah. Yeah, I've got it locked out.
Things go together. Yeah, right, exactly, exactly.
All right, so what's, are you, so you're not going to tour for a while. You got a show in the works? I have a few things.
If they come out, they'll come out. I'd hear about them before this year's up.
Okay. So you never know what's ever going to happen.
So, yeah, I've got a few things, like trying to write a movie and some other things. So we're trying to roll into some other stuff.
That's awesome. Yeah, I'll have a special come out at the end of the year and then all that.
That's so good. Are you going to act in the movie? Are you writing it for yourself? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh. Is your dad going to act? I mean, I'll give him a part in it.
Yeah, he'll be mad if you don't. Yeah, he'll love it.
What's it about? What's the movie about? Well, we just started. We're working on the deal.
It's like I'm just riding over the right. It's just, you know, I don't know.
My movies are all going to be PG, and they're going to, you know, it's like I'm just because I'm clean, and everybody go do whatever you want to go do. I'm just doing my little thing over here.
And so it's like I'm just going to do that. You know, miss like a lot of those old movies like home alone and oh yeah like uncle buck and all these kind of stuff that was like very fun and like you know just trying to see even get that stuff going uncle buck is the best yeah that's the best i i got a a dumb question do you because you are a clean comic do you ever think about swears uh i don't know like are you thinking about the f word right now No, no i blocked it out i blocked it out of my head right there i gotta i gotta force i gotta force field around my brain and it won't get in uh no yeah i mean i mean yeah i'm not better than anybody it's uh i just don't do it on stuff and try to just not do it's enough doing it.
There's enough comics that do it and they're all the best and they're funny and all that. So I've just.
You should flip it. You should, you should become like the, the vegetarian of, uh, swear words and be like, I am better than you.
Like, do you know that saying this many swear words will take 10 years off your life? Yeah. That's going to take it real hard and go, I look down on you.
I look, I feel, i will pray for y'all right past that camera yeah do you know how many baby cows had to die for you to say fuck yeah like think about that yeah yeah just start judging everyone yeah it's not a bad way to go yeah did you ever was there like a year where you swore did you try it and not like it no yeah i've i've swore i'm not perfect but i'm not you know i've done i've made a ton of mistakes i used to drink i used to do all this but it's uh it's i just never but i on stage there was a couple that i think i have a couple things where i i like said a couple curse words and i i'm just disappointed that i did it now yeah it's i just i didn't do it i did a lot of it because i mean i grew up you know in the south like southern christian home like you you weren't i didn't i wasn't allowed to watch any of this stuff and all this so i didn't because i'd never one of my parents i felt bad if my parents like would see me do comedy and i was being dirty so i just started doing that and now with now with comedy there's not's not that many clean comedians. And this is just the way I think now and the way I kind of write.
So I'm just going down this lane. And there's just not a ton of clean guys out there.
The times that you did do it, you'd probably look back on and be disappointed that you allowed yourself to be pushed into doing that because maybe you thought it was yeah i mean sometimes you hang out with comics and stuff like it can get you know it's it'd be like you're hanging out like army buddies or cops or but you know where it can get like you know you sound like a maniac and then you got to go back to reality where you're like you got to calm it down stop talking like that yeah yeah and so uh but you know it's like i mean i don't know if disappointed like i'm not you know i'm trying the whole point of when i was clean is i didn't want anybody to even notice it yeah and that was the thing no you don't you don't know and it was just like i'm just doing my little thing and like uh if you notice great if you don't better great you know and you just go from there no i've seen you live a couple times and it's you just sit there like this guy is just incredible on stage it's never even popped in my head yeah yeah that's the yeah that's the the goal of it yeah and when it helps me with like if i'm not gonna talk about sex you know it's like well then that's a huge chunk that i can't talk about so then it makes you talk talk about other stuff that's either my family or all this other stuff. But, I mean, the comics, I mean, I watched, you know, all the comics.
Bill Burr was a huge influence on me because I was in New York, and I watched him really like a lot of – I mean, he was probably 10 years in when I first saw him, but then I saw him, I kind of take off. So like Burr was like a giant influence on me.
And I would take the influences. I would get David Tell.
David Tell's another one that's like, well, I mean, he's the, I think the best ever. And then he's just the funniest.
He's the guy, if I had to buy a ticket for any comedian, I would buy a ticket for David Tell. And if, but watching them, you would just take stuff that you would learn from them.
And then I would just put it put it i just wouldn't i would do it my way yeah but i would take their advice their you know stuff that you learn from them and see what they do and then just go from there i feel like there's there's a couple different types of stand-up comedians ones that will actually take somebody who wants to learn and help them learn and then some comics that just don't want to help anybody yeah usually young i think it's young when people get stuff young that's a big problem is like and you either i always have a saying i would always uh or i joke and say you either make it at 20 or 40 and no one makes it in the middle and so it's like you basically either come out of the gate and you're like boom gone or you're going to grind it out for the whole time and then and you know, I was one that got – and you're trying the whole time in your 20s. But then, you know what? It takes 20 years, man.
And when it does, you're like, well, I'm glad it does because I can sit in my career and I, like, have an act and you just feel like you have more – like, you know, you're not as like – nothing can just come out and take and take you under like you're not built on stilts or what's that thing yeah yeah it's also i mean it's a fucked up thing that we do as just human beings where it's like if someone gets success at 20 everyone's like god damn it he doesn't deserve that yeah when someone gets success at 40 we're like man he really he he he did it all the right way and grinded it's like yeah well they get well, they get – yeah, it's hard. It's hard when you see it.
And it's hard for – my buddy Julian McCoy used to have a joke about Britney Spears where he's like, if you gave me a million dollars when I was 18, I'd be dead. Yeah.
And so it's like that's what happens. You got like a Justin Bieber.
You're like, yeah, you're giving these kids. I mean, they become more powerful than their parents.
Yeah. Because they have so much money.
And it's a dynamic that's just like, yeah, you're lucky that it's not. This person is not, you know, he seems like a fine person.
I don't know him at all. But LeBron James.
LeBron James should be, I mean, on another planet. And that guy.
He was 16. Yeah.
I never judge anyone. Like when we get to When we get to talk to a lot of celebrities and athletes, anyone I meet that has been famous when they were in their teenage years, because maybe they were going to be the first-round pick.
Everyone knew when they were 16. It's like, I don't judge who you are because your life is just so different.
So different, yeah. And your experiences are so different that no one in the world can relate outside of like a handful of people the only thing i would for if the ones that do it they're they need to be at least have awareness yeah you are getting that's because that's where it goes wrong is when they they don't have the awareness that they're they think their life is kind of everybody's life right and so they just are like yeah i'll just and that's when they start telling you how to vote and start doing all this, true.
And you're like, dude, you don't follow any of this stuff. Like, you don't do it.
It's like, just stay out of it. Yeah.
So I have awareness that you're like, yeah, yeah. My life is insane.
So I'm not going to tell you how to go live your life because I don't even, you know, I've never had any of my, I've had millions of dollars from the get-go. Yeah, I mean, I think we've done a good job with that on this show and that we try not to delve into stuff that, like, people don't want to hear us preach about anything.
They don't want to hear our thoughts on, like, you know, important topics. They come to us for us to be dumb and laugh about sports.
I would feel so, like, weird to try to tell someone how to think. That's why y'all built to what you have been built to is because people can come here as a uh distraction they don't need you right tell them how to run their life and you know they don't you know the the dad that's picking his kids up and the mom and the single mom and all the all the situations uh they don't need to be told they're like your job is entertain them yep have fun and then you go about your dance yeah and if you but and if you want to do that stuff to influence stuff you go you got to dive into it you got to be all in you got to be all in so then you got to yeah yeah you got to go like talking about that it's like yeah why is this this person thinks they're more important than me and they actually don't know what they're talking about that will drive you yeah people are very smart yeah i think people underestimate like an audience you're the audience

is yeah they're the smartest people in the world way smarter than us yeah and so you just you know you're like i'm here to be a distraction and you know i don't want to be telling anybody anything yeah yeah what's your distraction now uh politics Oh, the Middle East

Guys, saying all that

I do think we have a big problem with our golf you know that kind of is I mean it's hard to have a distraction I have a lot of things that I want to do and so I'm you know I think about that a lot and so it's like i'm just kind of rolling and uh so i think i have a big appetite so it's like i you know it's like i just want to keep things moving forward so you know i watch a lot of old movies like just dumb old movies like like no like 90s oh okay yeah i was just, yeah. I hate when people are like, I watched this black and white film from 1940s.
That can't be that good. I wouldn't watch The Cuckoo Nest.
That's a good movie. Yeah, I bailed.
But I bet it's great. I bet it's unbelievable.
You bailed on? I didn't bail on it. Then I got tired and I haven't gone back to it.
But I was trying to be better at watching these movies that are the greatest thing ever and but it was a lot yeah i mean it was but i i'll go back and what 90s movie and then i was you know what i was actually did i talk about this last i was annoyed because i bought it and then it was on netflix i talked about y'all with that no but yeah that i bought it yeah i bought it and then the next day i saw it was on netflix and i'm just so annoyed that it sits there yep and i'm like i didn't and why didn't i just watch it on yeah yeah so i have a bad taste can you get a refund if you if you bought a movie no i don't think so my wife gets mad because i'll buy them instead of renting them and she's like you're not gonna watch this again i'm like. I'm like, but what if I really like it? Yeah.
She's like, and I've never really liked a movie to rewatch it like that. But she's like, just stop buying it.
Just rent it. Yeah.
I'm like, I need to buy it. When you buy a movie now, you don't even get anything.
No. You should get something.
It's nice when you buy a movie, you used to have the VHS or the DVD. Yeah.
You put it on your wall. Then it becomes like a piece of art in your house.
It's like, look, I bought Die Hard 2. That's pretty cool.
Now it's just like it lives inside your television. Yeah, you're just like, oh, I don't even remember which app I bought it on.
Yeah. I know some guys that do DVDs, and they keep DVDs.
That's kind of cool. And I've kind of liked it because we were at a show, and they had a flea market out front, so we walked around.
So you're looking through all those DVDs, and you're seeing seeing the cover and all that stuff and you're like getting to read them and it's like yeah that is pretty fun like yeah you know because you can scroll on netflix or whatever and you're just like you're never going to find something yeah yeah but that you're like kind of like you only have this many choices you don't need too many choices you're like i need it to be like a limit yeah i'm gonna watch saving private ryan again yeah that's pretty Gotcha. Or forrest gump yeah it's always always felt like tom hanks yeah i watch a lot of uh i did equalizer a bunch i like watching movies that i've already seen because then you can kind of zone out and but be in it and like enough distraction training day that's a good one for that equalizer they made equalizer too which doesn't make any sense.
After the first one, it's already equalized. He did a bad job equalizing.
Well, then they did it again. A third time? There's an equalizer 3.
Yeah. You should be an action star.
That's where we're going. I've got to lose some weight.
I'm a mess right now. You've got to bulk up.
You've got to do steroids and then have People magazine say, find out Nate Bargatze's tips to dieting. And it's like he drank orange juice.
And I give the tips. Well, you like drink orange juice and you woke up and did 100 pushups and they just leave out the part you did steroids.
I did. I am on so much stuff.
I love it when they do that. They're like, how did this guy get ready for the Marvel? Domestic violence charge against him and his wife last night.
I'm like, I'm just drinking orange. Yeah, right.
I go, I'm not, don't read into that stuff. I just do 100 sit-ups a day.
That'd be great. The world's first clean action star.
Yeah. You just show up, you're like, come on, man.
Chill out. Put it down on the guns.
You're right, Nate. You're right.
Yeah, it's just real quick. It's a real quick movie.
Yeah. Equalizer, we're just not, it's like, I would like to have a conversation with you about you doing this drug stuff.
If you don't mind. It's really hurting your body.
All right, well, this has been awesome. We appreciate it.
I have one last question. Roback question.
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Can you give us a Titans prediction? I think the Titans make the playoffs. And I'm excited.
I love Will Levis, the quarterback. We've got DeAndre Hopkins.
What's the other receiver? We picked up another receiver this year. I like the Snead dude from Kansas City that we got.
And so I think he I mean, you got like – you know, especially in our division, Houston's going to be – it'll be a tough division. But I think we can do it.
Okay. Will Levis is like a very exciting dude.
And we've needed some that energy kind of in it where, you know, he set up and did the first down. So it's like that kind of excitement.
So I think we can get in the playoffs. And you got your coach's dad too.
Yes. Coaching offense is like one of the best coaches in the league.
Yes. So it's, you know, it's going to be tough.
But, I mean, I think we still have like a really legit team. Yeah.
You know, it's like we didn't – I don't think we really went backwards. new stadium coming soon yeah what is that uh 2027 the super bowl in nashville is gonna be awesome it's gonna be yeah they're gonna get i mean that's gonna be so much fun yeah it's it's the yeah they're talking about a baseball team too oh supposedly there's you know i don't know it's like one of those i think every city probably is like i think I think we're getting one.
No, Nashville, I think they're number one.

They're the first MLB team.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, the growth in Nashville has been nuts.

It's nuts.

I saw a skyline picture from like, it was like a 15-year difference.

Yeah, we have a building called the Batman Building

because it looks kind of like Batman.

And I remember that was built, and there was no skylines,

and that was like the tallest building.

And you're like, we drove downtown to go back,

and you see, look at that building.

I couldn't believe it.

They made a building.

It's everywhere.

Yeah, and Nashville's blowing up on the entertainment scene too.

You got Nate Borgazzi, the Hawk Tour Girl, everybody.

Yeah, we're rolling, dude.

We're rolling.

Stay hot.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She's going clean, actually.

That was part of her. Yeah, she reached out to me, and I go, yeah, we're talking about it.
I go, I think, you know. Yeah.
All right. Well, Nate, thank you as always, man.
You're the best. You're the best.
Thank you, guys. Thanks, Nate.
Nate Bargazzi was brought to you by Body Armor. This entire episode is presented by Body Armor Sports Drink.
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Thank you to Blue Chew for sponsoring the pod. Okay, let's wrap up.
We got FAQs, memes. Hank.
Hank. Memes found them.
Hank reads them. FAQ, what is the average time of night you all finish recording each show? Oh.
It depends wildly on what season it is. And what day it is.
I would say football season. What do you think the average is, though? Year-round.
Well, here, you're math guy. Yep.
Football season, I would say. I think it's day dependent.
Yeah, no, no, I'm saying Tuesdays at 4, we're done. Thursdays at 1130.
I was going to say later. Well, I was going to say.
Not with central time in the. I feel like we're out of here past midnight a lot on thursday no because the thing about that thursday night football during the off season we don't do yeah super late yeah and something about the average i know we're getting through we're working away we're showing our work but i think we're i think thursday night football because it starts at seven so usually we're recording the first 10 minutes what we do on the football season this is probably very boring for everyone, is Tuesdays we'll just record in the afternoon.
It's our one day that we can record early. Thursdays we'll record the majority of the show in the afternoon, and then we'll record the first 10 minutes after Thursday night football.
And then Sunday is the bear of a day because we don't start recording until Sunday night football, probably halftime, and usually we don't leave until like 1230,

and then the guys, shout out the boys in the booth,

because Max, Memes, Pug, Shane, they don't leave until like 4 or 5.

Yeah, that's the better question.

What time do you guys usually leave on a Sunday night in October?

Depends on how early we start recording.

If we start at halftime of Sunday Night Football, we're done at midnight.

Central time has helped.

Yeah, central time has helped.

I've gotten, like, when we were in New York, I've gotten back at, like, 8 a.m.

When we used to do Hoboken, it was a race to get it out before people woke up.

Like, we wouldn't be able to. Sometimes we'd put it out at 7 o'clock, and we'd still be uploading it, and people would be like, what the hell? Where's the show? Where's the show? Shout out.
That's really it. It's not about this side of the glass.
It's about that side of the glass. Yeah.
It's normally like three, I'd say, right? And then, yeah, it's dependent on season. It's like spring.
We like NBA playoffsba playoffs we'll record a little bit we've gotten a lot better where we used to just do the full show at like late at night now we do the majority of the show and then if like there's an nba game we're watching we'll just do the first 10 minutes of the show so people have whatever happened yeah same way better same with nhl nba it's always weird because sometimes the game that everybody cares about is the last game right and so then we'll have to stay up a little bit later college basketball um the ncaa tournament a little bit later on that especially on that friday uh that thursday night show going into friday but yeah i would say the average hank to answer your question i would say we average finish recording at like seven yeah and the big takeaway here is memes max pug shane those are the heroes yeah those are the guys you having kids change the game too what do you mean we've been doing a little earlier yeah it's it's been earlier on nicer the thing is our average is probably we are out of here at seven me big kink but we i don't think we ever actually finished recording a show at seven yeah and we have yeah you're right because i've i try to get home by like 4 30 every day so i can be with my kids i know there's some people out there who think i literally never see my kids but i do what did you guys say? Like once or twice a week I don't go home or like can't go home.

Like tonight I'm not going to go home,

but pretty much every day I'm out of here by 4.30.

Why does the logo of the show have a cartoon of Big Cat,

but the other guy isn't PFT?

That's a good question.

Good question.

Fair question.

Are you new here?

So I think this person hasn't seen my social social profile but it's the picture of that guy and it's a guy in the stands and he's cheering and it was during like a week two preseason game we figured out what preseason game it was and it was the seahawks and the titans and we put our best guy on the case to find the actual screenshot

of when I found this guy because it was back in 2010,

and I was starting a Twitter account.

I was like, what would an average NFL commenter look like?

I was like, this is the guy right here.

This is 100% the dude.

Yep.

So we tried to look him up later to go back to that game from 2010,

find the exact screenshot, and our best man, Billy Football, kind of just didn't do it. So we never found that out.
But maybe, I don't know, should we put Huey on the case? Yeah. He won't find anything, but we can do it.
Yeah. Huey, can you just spend like an hour trying to find it? Okay.
If you can find the broadcast of the 2010 Seahawks-T titans preseason game and find this guy in the stands and just give me like all the footage that they have of them yeah that would be awesome huey question for you faq how are you doing weekend pretty good yeah how's the internet treating you it's good yeah i don't know if it's award season around the corner and awls are just you know in a, in a good mood trying to get an award here. But, yeah, everyone's been pretty cool.
Everyone's for the most. Yeah, we did.
I want to apologize to you. We did a bad job your first episode.
We, like, probably asked you too many questions. You talked for, like, 20 minutes.
Yeah. And people were like, the show is just changing forever.
Wait, what did you say? Yeah, no, it just ripped me. Oh, ripped you.
Yeah. I didn't even think we ripped you.
We just asked you a question. Oh, gonna ever probably talk correct and i'm like i don't yeah and i understand it we overreact on on everyday things uh yeah they were like this guy is now talking for 30 minutes show i was like i tried to get in the weeds a little bit defending you i was like dude he's he's gonna talk uh like an amount that's appropriate for where he's at yeah you guys just had to like to like, you know, give a little backstory of everything.
It was like, yeah, I was good. I was good.
Yeah, I think people are getting comfortable with you. We still got to figure out that I like Huey.
Someone said Curly. We can't keep changing.
It's got to be Huey. But I feel like he doesn't know his name yet.
He's like a dog. Yeah, he hasn't responded to his name yet.
So I feel like we still have a second to change it. Nobody in the office knows it either because I get, like, three different names.
I get whole Huey and Matthew. I mean, I do like the idea of you as being a – you did screw up.
We had a – it will come out, I don't know, in a couple weeks. Mason Plumlee came by to give us a basketball lesson.
That was the perfect time to introduce yourself as Huey and see how it goes. Yeah, that was my fault.
Okay. You're going to have more chances on Grit Week.
Yeah, that's going to be a lot of Hueys. I need to hear Hubert out of your mouth.
I'll go back to a person and call myself Hubert. I'll go on the same person, three different names, see what they respond to.
Just be like, Hubert, but you can call me Huey. Yeah, Hubert, make sure like matthew's you know my middle name that might be a little iffy with you know everything going on what yeah you know what the trump shooter's middle name was math oh i don't think anyone's made that connection i'm just saying oh that was actually that was my first thought god for me now i'm thinking about it too huey likes.
Yeah. Oh, no.
They released two people out of the bunker that week. Oh, no.
Boy. That's a...
Okay, Matthew. Yeah.
Everyone was thinking. Watch out for those slanted roofs.
His name's Thomas Matthew... Crooks.
Crooks, right? Yeah. Yeah.
I did not put that together. No, I didn't either.
All right. Hank, last one.
My question is for the boys in the the booth Max, Memes, Shane, Pug Do your family and friends outside of Barstool Typically listen to the show And how often do they mention Slash bring up things that happen on the show Max My mother listens to every show What's up How we doing Sorry about Sorry about the time when he said he hated titty fucking. Yep.
My girlfriend has never listened to the show. Okay, that's good.
Yep. Look at that chick.
My friends are kind of like 50-50 on it. Okay.
So, yeah. Like, close friends being 50-50 is great.
Yeah. Like, my friends.
My friends are like 70-30 no anymore. Really? My friends are aware, but like it's not like every second that they're.
Yes. That's.
Yeah. Some.
I have a couple of friends. I'm always more surprised when they bring it up.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. I had a moment with one of my good friends not too long after the show started where he was like, hey, I just want to let you know that I want to support your show, but it's just too fucking weird to hear your voice in my iPad.
I completely understand that. Like, if you know someone that well, it's like, yeah, that would be weird.
Yeah. That's why I never listen to Ryan Russillo.
Yeah. No, we love Russillo.
Ryan's got a lot of friends. He must have a lot of friends out there.
Yeah. Russillo's got a lot.
Yeah, that's a smart podcasting strategy. That was mean.
That was mean. That wasyan we're gonna see him a great week i love you ryan we love him very much we just we made it sound like he's dying yeah we love you ryan i was in the car oh max tell the story real quick i i didn't know if it if that was he max saw max saw and when we see ryan we'll we'll have him explain inside max got to see what being friends with ryan rassilo is it's so funny.
He called me. We were going to the dingers thing, and he was on speaker, and he didn't even say hi.
He just like – it actually sounded like a podcast was coming through. He was like, what was he even – what was he saying? Something with LeBron.
Something with LeBron or basketball. And he's like, and this – and I was just like, oh, good to see you too.
Yeah. Max got to hear you.
He just started bursting out laughing start bursting out loud he was like hey ryan what's up and then immediately he was like so lebron did this and he like did the cadence of like he's like doing a podcast i was like yeah that's how it always is it's perfect it's a perfect friendship uh get right to it all right uh we good all right great right. Great show, boys.
Good job. Numbers

20. 56.

91.

36.

I sound confident with that.

Three.

99 Pug?

99 Pug.

Shane watches the show on a stream

and never knows when to come in.

Wait, he's watching us right now?

Yeah, every time.

That's sick fuck.

Get the fuck in here, Shane.

We'll give him 10 seconds.

Count him out.

8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

See ya.

What was everyone's numbers again real quick?

Eight, 20, 36, 36.

Hank, what was your number?

91.

29. 29.

Love you guys.

I'm soaking away.

I don't know what I'm about to say.

I'm saved anyway.

Today's a hot day to find you.

Shine away.

I'll be coming for your love of games.

Shine away.

I'll be coming for your love of games. Take on me.
Love. Take care.
Thank you. All those things that we sing And reason why I hope Just to play my word and reason why You are the things I've got to remember So you shine away I'll be coming for you anyway So you shine away I'll be coming to you anyway.
Take me up. I'll let you.
Take me up. Take me up.
Take me me. Drink on me.

Drink on me.