Jayson Werth, Xander Schauffele, Mt Rushmore Of Round Things And Fyre Fest

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
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Speaker 1 Code audio at checkout. On today's part of my take, we've got a twofer for the people.
We've got an awesome interview with Jason Worth in person.

Speaker 1 MLB legend won a championship with the Philadelphia Phillies, kind of won a championship with the Nats. Basically,

Speaker 3 no, he basically did.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he kind of did.

Speaker 3 Which team retired

Speaker 3 had a ceremony for him to put him in the ring of honor? What did you say? Which team put him in the ring of honor?

Speaker 4 Well, your franchise is like five years old.

Speaker 1 I think that's interesting.

Speaker 3 Also, it's the Montreal Expos, which goes back a very long time, but that's fine.

Speaker 1 So, we have a great interview with Jason Worth. We have a great interview with Xander Shauffley, open champion, now good friend of the show.

Speaker 1 We might be on his coaching staff. We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of Round Things,

Speaker 1 and then we're going to finish off with Fire Fest of the Week.

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the street, there is violence.

Speaker 1 And then a lot of soft work to be done.

Speaker 1 No place to hang out on washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can babe all on the sun.

Speaker 3 It's part of my take presented by Marshall Sports.

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Today is Friday, July 26th.

Speaker 3 Is there anything you'd like to say to me, Big Cat?

Speaker 1 And to Max?

Speaker 3 And to Hank, who's not here?

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 3 Happy Uncle's Day.

Speaker 1 Happy Uncle's Day. Thank you.
Yes. Happy Uncle's Day.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. I also am an uncle.
Oh, happy Uncle's Day. Thank you.
So I should say to myself. Happy Uncle's Day.
Yep.

Speaker 1 Huey, are you an uncle? Nope. Okay, so you're out.
Memes, are you an uncle?

Speaker 1 I am. Yeah.
Happy Uncle's Day, memes. Happy Uncle's Day.
Uncle's Day. Hank is not here.
We are actually on vacation next week, but we still have all the shows.

Speaker 1 So next week's schedule, Sunday, PFT and I will be in studio. Max and Hank will be on a much-deserved vacation.

Speaker 1 Wednesday will be the Takeys, which are phenomenal. Fired up.
28 takes, I think we're giving out.

Speaker 1 And then Friday, we will have a very, very special guest, and we'll be doing a Zoom show, and then we're off to Grit Week.

Speaker 3 I'm very very excited about what this next like week and a half has in store. Yes, now it is.
We are on vacation next week, uh, but to Hank's defense, it's Wednesday of the week before vacation.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he so he left Wednesday,

Speaker 1 um, but that's fine.

Speaker 1 He did do the Mount Rushmore with us, so we taped a couple, we taped three Mount Rushmores that uh, so we'll all be participating, but yeah, Hank, when we were like, Hey, we're gonna take a vacation last week of July, he's like, Great, I'll go the second to last week

Speaker 1 and the last week, yeah, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 3 He deserves it, he's had a tough summer, which, speaking of, of,

Speaker 1 it's such a shame Hank's not here because, boys, I think

Speaker 1 I don't,

Speaker 1 listen, we've been doing this a long time. A lot of the things that we talk about here are from other shows or we're not claiming, you know, Mount Rushmore.
We love doing Mount Rushmore season.

Speaker 1 Obviously, it was a joke when we're like, yeah, we invented Mount Rushmore season. We did not invent Mount Rushmore season.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of things out there that we are part of, but we don't take credit for inventing stuff because everyone's got ideas. Everyone's doing different things.

Speaker 1 I do think we had a part in Jason Tatum aura conversation becoming mainstream.

Speaker 3 Yes, the Jason Tatum conversation has reached its apex. Stephen A.
Smith put out a podcast yesterday and he titled it, you know, you're doing the rundown of what the podcast is going to be featuring.

Speaker 3 Here's how he described his podcast. Another horrifying police shooting.

Speaker 1 Does Tatum lack aura? Ooh.

Speaker 3 So we're going to get to the bottom of maybe both those things at the same time.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and so Carmelo Anthony also came out and said that Jason Tatum will never be the face of the league because he lacks aura. Anthony Edwards has aura.

Speaker 1 I'm actually good on it. I don't think we're good on the discussion.
I'm like, we settled it a long time ago.

Speaker 1 It just was interesting that it's now become like an actual thing that people, the fodder in the middle of July.

Speaker 3 That's what you got. It is Mount Rushmore season, which we invented as Big Cat Series.

Speaker 3 But

Speaker 3 this is an interesting conversation because it's like, it's undefinable. Yeah.
You can just say whether or not you like the guy or not.

Speaker 1 Correct.

Speaker 1 And we also

Speaker 1 began this whole conversation 100% just to piss Hank off. Yeah.
I mean, I don't even know what aura means.

Speaker 3 Everything we've said about Jason Tatum and Jalen Brown to a certain extent has been just to piss Hank off.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if Hank wasn't here, we'd be like, those guys are fucking awesome.

Speaker 1 They're probably going to win multiple championships. And who the hell cares who gets the MVP and who has the aura? All that matters is winning.

Speaker 1 But Hank is usually sitting here, so we have to say they probably hate each other and Jason Tatum has no aura.

Speaker 3 But also, to your point, they in those two questions, Jalen Brown has both those things. Yeah, he does have a lot of aura and the MP.

Speaker 1 He's got aura, he actually has overflow of aura plus a thousand aura. Yeah,

Speaker 3 what would you say if you were to do like statistics on Jason Tatum's aura? I'd say he's like negative 650.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that sounds about right.

Speaker 1 I was gonna go like minus nine war,

Speaker 1 yeah, wara, yeah, wara, chase. Jalen Brown's like a plus 28 wara, Yeah, that's the guy.

Speaker 3 It's hard to replicate.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, so the other things we have going on, it is training camp, so we are starting to get some of the training camp news.

Speaker 1 We had Jim Harbaugh welcome everyone to training camp in their new facility, The Bolt, which looks incredible.

Speaker 3 Inspired by lightning?

Speaker 1 Yep, it looks awesome. He said training camp feels like being born.
It feels like coming out of a womb. It's comfortable.
And then poof, you're born. The lights are on.
People are looking at you.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 I mean, being born is a lot like training camp, for sure. You put your head down, you hit the hole, you just need 10 centimeters of daylight, and then you explode.

Speaker 3 And Harbaugh, I feel like he hears the word labor, and he thinks hard work. Yeah.
So he's like, yeah, that's what training camp is. It's work is giving birth.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't be shocked if Harbaugh maybe also gives his players some, you know, breast milk. Oh, yeah.
Just being like, hey,

Speaker 1 we got to build stronger, stronger bones.

Speaker 3 What's like the pre-come of breast milk, the liquid gold stuff? I don't know. The stuff that bodybuilders take.
Oh, I don't know. It's like a special type of highly concentrated breast milk.

Speaker 3 I'm sure that Harbaugh's got the placenta. Placenta? Shooting that up.
Yeah, three yards in the cloud of placenta. That's his offensive.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I always get placenta and paella confused, and they're very different.

Speaker 3 Extremely, especially the taste.

Speaker 1 Placenta is delicious. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 We had also in Cardinals camp, did you see this? Jonathan Gannon.

Speaker 1 No, we joke about Jonathan Gannon, but this one had me thinking, like, he might be in trouble.

Speaker 1 And he was kind of being funny, but he said that he and several

Speaker 1 staff members did a deep dive on the concept of momentum, apparently going back to wars in the 1800s. Okay.

Speaker 1 And after all the research, when he was asked about it, if momentum exists, he said, perhaps, I have no idea. That's great.
That's great.

Speaker 3 So he did an exhaustive research study on it. Wars.
And it's undefined.

Speaker 1 Anytime a football coach comes back from summer for training camp, been like, I've been looking at some wars.

Speaker 3 Except for the Browns' offensive line coach, being like, the troops didn't stretch before they invaded the beach at Normandy. Yeah, Bob Wiley.

Speaker 3 It's interesting, though, that he is like trying to figure out whether or not momentum is real by doing a scientific study on momentum.

Speaker 1 Just ask the sports fan.

Speaker 3 It might as well just be vibes. Yeah.
Like,

Speaker 3 vibes are real.

Speaker 1 Ask a gambler.

Speaker 1 They're sitting there and watching a game and they feel it going bad. That's momentum.

Speaker 3 Like, I can tell you when a team that's winning is going to lose the game. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like when they.

Speaker 3 It's usually when they have a black bird that's on the side of their head and they play in Georgia.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, the

Speaker 1 it's like 10 years ago, 15 years ago, when there was that whole discussion like clutch actually doesn't exist. I'm like, nah, we've been watching sports a long time.
Clutch 100% exists.

Speaker 3 It definitely exists.

Speaker 1 Like there's no way to explain how some people are just better and like rise to the occasion and other people don't.

Speaker 3 Isn't momentum also clearly defined by Isaac Newton? Yeah. I'm pretty sure it's one of the laws.

Speaker 1 He's the one who said momentum is your next day's starting pitcher.

Speaker 3 Yeah, he said, first he said, what the fuck is this apple doing falling on my head? Ow. Yeah, and then he said, yeah, I don't know if

Speaker 3 I can pinch it for Derek Jeter.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. So momentum's real.

Speaker 3 It's definitely real. And also in sports, like...
Vibes are 100% a thing. In war, I think they call it, what do they call it? Just when your team's down?

Speaker 3 It's a French term, the spirit, the espirit de corps or something like that. Okay.

Speaker 3 If you're, if your army's pissed off and they're lazy and they don't want to go fight, they're going to get their ass kicked.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 So if you're getting your ass kicked, then that means you're more likely to get your ass kicked. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 Other training camp notes I wrote down for you. Dan Campbell has the biggest podium ever.
Yeah. I love that they built that for him.

Speaker 1 They basically built a podium so big that he can't break it with his hands because I think they were probably nervous that if he gets upset and he like pounds his fist, he'll break the podium.

Speaker 3 It's a solid podium.

Speaker 1 It's an indestructible podium. I like it.
It's an unsinkable podium. It's Titanic.

Speaker 3 I like it with Dan Campbell. I would love it if it was like Mike McDaniel behind that giant podium.
Yeah. It would just be so funny because of how big it would be, how small he would be.

Speaker 1 He'd get lost.

Speaker 3 I think that might be podium of the year for next year.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it is. We should have put that into the takeies, but it came too late.

Speaker 1 Lincoln Riley said he's coming quickly. They're coming quickly.

Speaker 1 It's about baseball. It's weird

Speaker 1 seeing all USC and UCLA and Oregon and Washington, the Big Ten media day.

Speaker 1 We got a lot of media days going on.

Speaker 3 What was the context behind we're coming quickly?

Speaker 1 I think it was talking about like, are they going to orgasm?

Speaker 3 Okay, yeah, that's unusual for someone who represents the Trojans to say that. Yeah.
Usually that's a good thing.

Speaker 1 It takes a while, yeah. Yeah.
But maybe ribbed for his pleasure.

Speaker 3 His pleasure on the inside.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But and then the, I think that was all the training camp.
Oh, we had our first training camp fight, Chiefs.

Speaker 1 No, no. Oh, incorrect.

Speaker 3 First training camp fight was the Houston Texans.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 3 Which I think we said on the show,

Speaker 3 the AFC South was going to be the first

Speaker 1 fight.

Speaker 3 And the Chiefs had one, too? The Chiefs had one as well. Interesting.
I saw the Jerry Jones talk today. What did he say? He addressed the media.

Speaker 1 AI Jerry Jones or

Speaker 3 Real Jerry Jones, not dead Jerry Jones.

Speaker 3 He said, he was talking about the DAC extension and the CeeDee Lamb extensions that he's working on. And then he compared himself to Patrick Mahomes.

Speaker 3 He said, if you have an option quarterback like Patrick Mahomes, famous option quarterback that we all know,

Speaker 3 you want to wait to make your decision until the defense gets up on you, and then you can make your choice.

Speaker 3 And he also said

Speaker 3 he's more all-in than he's ever been. Oh.
So he's like way.

Speaker 1 He's been very all in.

Speaker 3 He is balls deep in.

Speaker 1 He's been all in every single year for the last 20 years to nothing to show for it.

Speaker 3 Well, he's been also, he's been distracted recently, shall we say, with his paternity lawsuit.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. What ended up happening? Is he the father?

Speaker 3 I don't think he's. Well, either he's the dad and doesn't have to pay for it or he's not the dad.
Got it.

Speaker 3 So he's saying because he doesn't have those distractions, he's going to be able to commit 100% of his time to the team. To being all in.
Which is apparently a good thing in his mind.

Speaker 1 Okay, yeah. Yeah, you don't want him all in.

Speaker 3 No, you want just the tip. Yep.

Speaker 1 How mad would you be if the Cowboys got actually good, Max?

Speaker 1 Would that like because it's kind of a fascinating thing to think about because the Cowboys have not been a threat, an actual threat in a long time. I know that they have had good seasons.

Speaker 1 They've won a couple playoff games, but they have not been to an NFC championship game since the 90s, correct?

Speaker 3 1996.

Speaker 1 Right, so I don't know about.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that sounds right. Yeah.
That's when they won the last Super Bowl. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 would it destroy you?

Speaker 4 I don't know. I got one more year.
No NFC East team ever goes back-to-back. So I'm good for this year.

Speaker 1 You need this year.

Speaker 1 Right, PFD? Yeah.

Speaker 3 We just trade off. Yeah, everyone.
Been what trades? Since 2006, crazy.

Speaker 3 So we haven't had a back-to-back champion.

Speaker 1 So the Cowboys can't win the NFCs this year. They can't.
Take them off your list. Take them off your list.

Speaker 1 Not going to happen.

Speaker 3 Not going to happen. And the Commanders are going to rise up and we're going to dominate them.
It's going to be great. And nothing's ever going to hurt again.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Baseball news.

Speaker 1 So, what was the clip that you just showed? The

Speaker 1 Colorado Rockies since 2004. It's the last time the NFC's had

Speaker 1 back-to-back champions.

Speaker 1 This was a very funny clip because it was a Red Sox Rockies, and the relief pitcher yelled at the batter. Yeah.
You jerked off in a parking lot.

Speaker 3 Who was the batter?

Speaker 1 I don't know, know, but I looked up and he did, in fact, jerk off in a parking lot.

Speaker 3 Was it Kellen Winslow?

Speaker 1 It's one of those ones that you just hope never becomes a viral clip because I didn't know who that guy was. And then I looked it up and I was like, oh, he did jerk off in a parking lot.

Speaker 1 That's got to suck going to the ballpark every day being like. Someone might say I jerked off in a parking lot and they wouldn't be wrong.

Speaker 3 And it probably didn't happen that much until this pitcher said it and it was clearly caught on camera. By the way, shout out to McGuire.
Shout out to whoever did the lip reading for it. Yes.

Speaker 3 Because you did America a wonderful service. Now every fan is going to know that's the guy that jerked off in a parking lot.

Speaker 1 I did not know until that moment. Is it Reese Maguire? Yes.
Yeah, Reese Maguire.

Speaker 1 He jerked off in a parking lot.

Speaker 3 Confirmed by this pitcher.

Speaker 1 I think it was, who was the pitcher who yelled it? It was Quintrall? Yeah, Cal Quantrell.

Speaker 3 There we go, Huey. I love how you said that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I do too. I also,

Speaker 1 yeah, Rhys Maguire.

Speaker 1 He jerked off in a parking lot.

Speaker 3 That's interesting.

Speaker 1 The other baseball thing I want to talk about real quick, and this is we don't have memes as a Mets fan,

Speaker 1 but the Yankees.

Speaker 1 I saw our good friend Tommy Smokes this morning, and I've known Tommy now for seven years, and I think for every single moment of those seven years, I've seen him tweet: this is the game that Brian Cashman and Aaron Boone are getting fired.

Speaker 1 Yet the Yankees will never fire either of those guys. And Aaron Boone even said, after getting killed by the Mets, I think they got swept by the Mets this season.

Speaker 1 He said, one of the things I really liked tonight was how hooked up we were in the dugout in the eighth and ninth inning. I'm not worried about the compete level with these guys.

Speaker 1 This is talking about a game where they lost like 12 to 3, I believe.

Speaker 1 So I don't know what it is with the Yankees, but these guys stink and they, like, I'm talking about Aaron Boone and Brian Cashman, and they're never getting rid of them.

Speaker 1 As a two-week Yankee fan, I think. What was the two-week Yankee fan thing, by the way?

Speaker 1 Explain that. I was sold on the

Speaker 1 high class and the high history. The pinstripes? The pinstripes.
The Derek Jeters of the week. When was the two weeks?

Speaker 1 The first two weeks of the season. Okay.
They were hot coming out the gate. They looked good.

Speaker 1 And then I stopped Karen. And then they started to kind of took us up a couple of slumps and bumps.

Speaker 1 But at the end of the day, I think Cashman and Boone are, you know, they're going to always be on the hot seat. And at the the end of the day, the team's, you know, it's not even that horrible.

Speaker 1 We have a two-week.

Speaker 3 I generally think

Speaker 3 you said once you stopped caring about them, then they went to a slump. You have to start caring about them again.

Speaker 1 This is what I have to do for that team to be great. I'll walk for them to run.

Speaker 3 I like how Brian Cashman, how

Speaker 3 they get off to a hot start, you're right. But his strategy is basically sign the best players and pay them the most money.
Yeah. Which isn't really the mark of a good general manager.

Speaker 3 It's just a general manager that's got a rich dad. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly. So, Hughie, you are a football and a basketball guy.
You're not really a baseball guy. Just this season, you were like, I'm going to give this Yankee thing a shot?

Speaker 1 Yeah, like, I was watching the playoffs last year, and, you know, I got kind of sold on, like, baseball. And then.
Oh, you were not sold on baseball until last year.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it took last season to kind of be like, oh, this thing, you know, because it moved faster.

Speaker 3 Okay. What about the Yankees in the postseason sold you on the Yankees?

Speaker 1 Not last, but it was the potential. Okay.
Well, look at what this team is in the regular season. Imagine if they're good, and it matters when they're playing.

Speaker 1 How much baseball had you watched the previous 25 years of your life?

Speaker 1 Four months, maybe. Four months? Like a game here, a game there.

Speaker 3 It's very specific. Four months.

Speaker 1 Cumulative four months? Yeah, like if I had to. That's a lot of games.
But that's not like 24-7. That's just like a day here, day there.
A game here, a game there. Okay.

Speaker 1 And then two-week Yankee fan. And then two weeks, I was watching every game for two weeks.

Speaker 1 And you just stopped? No, I watched every single game. And then you just stopped.
And then I was like, this is what am I doing?

Speaker 1 Okay. Two week Yankee fan.

Speaker 3 Yeah, the Yankees, I know that the fans are really, really pissed off, but I think that there's a solution to this.

Speaker 3 I think that you have to give Aaron Boone an extension and show that you believe in him. Yeah.
And then the rest of the clubhouse is going to truly believe in him, too. Then you'll be fine.

Speaker 1 You might have a lame duck otherwise. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 3 He kind of is a lame duck, right? I think

Speaker 3 he's got a club option for next year.

Speaker 1 So you got to do it. So you got to do it.

Speaker 3 Extend Aaron Boone.

Speaker 1 I got a question for you. The Olympics started.
How are we doing in rugby?

Speaker 3 So right now, we're waiting for the quarterfinals. We made it to the knockout stage, and the U.S.
is playing Australia. We won.
Australia good? Yeah, they're very good. Shit.

Speaker 3 They're probably going to win. We won a game, lost a game, tied a game.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's perfect for us.

Speaker 3 Yeah, and we finished, I believe, second in our group, which means that we kind of won. So we moved on to the knockout stage.
I think, I don't know. I think...

Speaker 3 I don't want to make any predictions because we're watching the games right now, but I like both Fiji and Ireland. Whoever wins this game, I think, is going to win it.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 Okay. But it's been awesome to watch.
Like, the whole office has been watching sevens, and I wish that it had more of a prime time spot. I wish that it was.

Speaker 1 I wish it was happening during the Olympics.

Speaker 3 I wish it wasn't the appetizer for the Olympics. Right.
Like, this deserves.

Speaker 3 Get this in like a Friday night, Saturday night.

Speaker 1 Right, I don't understand.

Speaker 1 Oh, by the way, you got the Nationals got no hit today.

Speaker 3 Yeah, we did. And you know what? Thing about me? Guy like me, when we get no hit, I say that we got no hit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we got no hit by Cease.

Speaker 1 One guy, One guy threw it. Yeah, but they, they, well, no, but they got no hits.

Speaker 3 We got no hit. Remember when you happened to be

Speaker 1 yours what happened in yours? Did you get any hits?

Speaker 1 Okay, exactly. Speak down, boy.

Speaker 1 That's basically, we just took out the newspaper and we just kind of held it over the dog's snout, and he's just like, all right, I'm going to lay down. That's what we call accountability, Max.

Speaker 3 That's as close as you'll get to Max admitting it, by the way.

Speaker 1 He's just slinking back. Yeah, he's shrinking.

Speaker 1 We've had this argument for two years now, and he just didn't see the, well, how, did you guys get a hit? Yeah. Question coming? Never saw that part coming.

Speaker 3 It was Dylan Cease.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Dylan Cease. Fantastic.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I baseball.

Speaker 1 I tried to give.

Speaker 1 I was basically like, all-star breaks, a nice reset. The Cubs have been bad.
And I was like,

Speaker 1 I'm going to give my all for this next week to see if the Cubs can maybe win a few games and get back in this.

Speaker 1 I went on Monday night.

Speaker 1 They're so bad, their foul balls are bad. They don't even hit foul balls well.
Like not good contact?

Speaker 3 Is that what you're doing? Correct.

Speaker 1 They suck at hitting the baseball.

Speaker 1 Very important part of baseball.

Speaker 3 That's probably the most important part.

Speaker 1 Yes. Well, no, they're really good at pitching the baseball.

Speaker 1 They're just really bad at hitting the baseball. Hitting the baseball is important,

Speaker 1 especially when you pitch the baseball well. All you need to do is hit the baseball a little bit, and they can't even do that.

Speaker 3 Ideally, you'd like to combine the two.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's also so boring.
It's boring.

Speaker 4 Watching the Cubs play is so boring.

Speaker 1 They don't have anything.

Speaker 1 I've said it a million times.

Speaker 1 When we talked about with Aaron Rodgers. What?

Speaker 3 The Cubs were the Bears.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no. They've grown up into the Blacks.
No,

Speaker 1 they won in 2016.

Speaker 3 No, I'm saying their style of play.

Speaker 1 Oh, right now, yeah.

Speaker 1 Their style of play, but they have not historically... I mean,

Speaker 1 yeah, they're not good historically, but they did win in the last decade.

Speaker 1 When we were talking with Aaron Rodgers about how often guys think about the Roman Empire

Speaker 1 and how that whole meme started, and everyone's like, ask your boyfriend how often he thinks about the Roman Empire. For me, it's how often I think about Kyle Schwarber still being on the Cups.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's almost daily occurrence for me in my brain.

Speaker 3 He's such a joy to root for. If you're going to have a team that, even if it's not that good, having Schwarber on the team is just so much fun.
Just one.

Speaker 3 A big boy that steps up to the the plate and mashes.

Speaker 1 One bat that would make the other pitcher not be like, oh, I'm fine. This is an easy out.

Speaker 4 That'd be so sector root for him.

Speaker 1 Shut up.

Speaker 3 He also wouldn't tolerate other guys not hitting the ball well.

Speaker 3 Right. He'd just be like, dude, just do what I do.
Just mash. Just spank a ball.

Speaker 1 He'd be, yeah, he'd be pissed off. The Cubs

Speaker 1 in the last,

Speaker 1 let's see, in the last six games. Two runs, zero runs, two runs, three runs, zero runs, two runs.

Speaker 3 That's bad.

Speaker 1 That's really bad.

Speaker 3 Boring baseball.

Speaker 1 And they don't give up runs, so it's like every loss is a 3-2 loss or a 2-1 loss.

Speaker 1 It's brutal.

Speaker 3 It's kind of the same in every sport where if your team's going to be bad or mediocre, you'd rather it be the opposite, where they're great on offense and

Speaker 3 stinks.

Speaker 1 Play softball games.

Speaker 3 Yeah, just because you can have fun watching the games. Correct.
There's a lot going on.

Speaker 1 Correct.

Speaker 3 I saw a stat the other day. This is back to football real quick.
I think the Dan Lebatard show pointed this out, but I wanted to make memes aware of it.

Speaker 3 Memes, do you know that

Speaker 3 the Indianapolis Colts have more AFC titles than the New York Jets do?

Speaker 1 Wow. Yeah,

Speaker 1 that was going around this season. Yeah, AFC.
Memes, I stand with you. Don't let them do shame statistics.

Speaker 1 Shame statistics are the lamest thing you can do. I thought you guys saw it earlier in the year.
You were going to bring it up. I would never bring that up, memes.
I fucking live.

Speaker 1 All I have to deal with every single day is insult stats. Yeah, we got to stick together.
Yeah, insult stats are not cool. We just got to turn the insult stats on the Patriots.

Speaker 1 See something, say something. If you see someone using an insult stat, insult them back.

Speaker 3 I kind of like using them on the Patriots, though. You can use them on the Chiefs, Patriots, any team that's won more than two Super Bowls in the last 20 years.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, because then they have something to defend. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't have when people, the insults, we're about to get to the time of year where the Bears not having a 3,000-yard passer or what? 4,000? I can't remember. 4,000.

Speaker 1 4,000, 4,000, it's 30 touchdowns, 4,000. That's going to start going everywhere.
Yeah. And so insult stats suck.
Yeah, they're back.

Speaker 1 They're not nice.

Speaker 1 All right, before we do Mount Rushmore, and Hank is involved in this, I wanted to do one thing. PFT, I told you this.

Speaker 1 I was going to save this for you.

Speaker 1 I got talking to Huey the other day, and our boy Huey's working on a script. Okay?

Speaker 1 And I want you to hear the script because I think we need to make the pilot for this. Okay.
Okay, so Huey, the floor is yours. How long have you been working on this script?

Speaker 1 Technically speaking, about six months. Okay, and how many pages do we have? One.
Okay.

Speaker 3 Okay. When you say technically, what does that mean?

Speaker 1 I started it six months ago. Okay.
And I did one page. Okay.
That day.

Speaker 1 Oh, so it was all one day? Yeah, I've gone back and edited. They can kind of add some lines, added some subscriptions and stuff, but that page.

Speaker 3 And it's subscriptions.

Speaker 1 Descriptions. Descriptions.
Yeah, sorry. Sorry.

Speaker 3 You're a perfectionist, it sounds like.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 wanted to be realistic, wanted to make you be able to believe that you're in the story.

Speaker 3 Okay, so what was the inspiration for the script?

Speaker 1 Basketball. Yeah.
Okay. So go ahead.

Speaker 1 Tell them what the

Speaker 1 pitch is. All right.
So

Speaker 1 the show is called High Up in the Mountains.

Speaker 1 It's about two brothers.

Speaker 1 One looks very similar to me.

Speaker 1 The inspiration behind the other one is by a rapper by the name of Shake Well,

Speaker 1 who looks very similar to Max Delente. Oh.

Speaker 3 But so. ShakeWell, like a milkshake? Like something that you'd see on

Speaker 1 a Slimfast? Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's a big goofy guy. Got it.

Speaker 1 So it's about two brothers, one named Carmelo, the other Anthony.

Speaker 1 And they were born two days before he got traded to the Knicks. Okay.
And so, you know, that's why their dad, not the best of guys, grew up to resent them, you know, because they live in Denver.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 they live in Denver. Now he's got to be reminded of, you know, his two shitstaying kids, you know, Carmelo and Anthony.
Yeah. And then, long story short, life goes on.

Speaker 1 Dad starts to meet another woman. They have a kid.
That kid. Guess what he names that kid?

Speaker 3 Tebow.

Speaker 1 Nicola. Oh.

Speaker 1 So now there's not enough room for Carmelo and Anthony. So they're getting kicked out.

Speaker 1 So now the story is, you know, these two, you know, shit brains kind of having to figure out life, you know, on their own, high up in the mountains, named Carmelo Anthony.

Speaker 1 I'm in. Yeah.
I'm in.

Speaker 1 We got to make it. There's not, there's, I did point out when I heard this that

Speaker 1 the

Speaker 1 years between Carmel Anthony getting traded from the Nuggets to the Knicks and Jokic getting drafted by the Nuggets is significant.

Speaker 3 So the timeline doesn't add up.

Speaker 1 So, no, well, it's just that's more room for the script. Well, Jokic was drafted in 14.

Speaker 1 And then you got to think, you know, you had another six, seven years before he starts to, like, really start to be in the final conversation and MVP. and takes a couple six years.

Speaker 1 So by then, you know, they're pushing 18. Okay.
So, you know, it's right on, right on that par right there. So, and then the Carmelo and Anthony resent their baby brother.
Yeah, because

Speaker 3 so do they do they move to New York?

Speaker 1 Well, I haven't gotten that far yet. Okay, I'm opened.

Speaker 3 This is actually a lot of script for just one page.

Speaker 1 Wait, what do you mean you haven't gotten that far yet? Because they already, in where you've gotten to, Carmelo's already retired. Yeah, no, I mean, like,

Speaker 1 no,

Speaker 1 in theory, yeah, I haven't written all of this. Right, you've only written all this.

Speaker 1 The theory, the direction is this. This is where we're going.

Speaker 1 The end of the episode is going to, by the end of the episode, we're going to have all this laid out, and we're going to have kind of the path of. Is this all happening in the first episode?

Speaker 1 Not all of it, but

Speaker 1 again, the pilot's going to really have to lay down a lot of what these guys are, their story,

Speaker 1 and then them getting kicked out, and then that kind of where that ends. And then we'll pick up episode two, kind of.

Speaker 3 So it's a TV show, so you have like a season.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah as many episodes as it needs out of question yeah yeah is there a time jump in the first episode yeah there has to be

Speaker 1 well no um

Speaker 1 yeah there's a the first little like 30 seconds is like you know them as babies you know and then it's camelo and anthony and then bang you know two days later camelo gets traded and then it's like all right and then it's a quick time jump he cuts to these kids you know smoking weed in the car oh so there is a time jump yeah but for like again 20 seconds it's the first like 20 like you just get introduced to babies.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're in present day. And then, boom, yeah, now we're in present day.
Yeah, these kids are present day. Yes, yes.
All right. I got a question.

Speaker 3 I don't want to completely poo-poo your script here because I think that's maybe we should make it.

Speaker 3 When Carmelo was traded to the New York Knicks, did the father think about just changing their name?

Speaker 1 No. No, no, no, no.
He signed the birth certificate a couple of days earlier. So officially, you know, and again, the dad, what we're going to find out from father is he's not the brightest.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay. And that he's, at the end of the day, it's more about the reminder of what he did wrong, and he kind of blames himself.

Speaker 3 Okay, so when he named the new baby Nikola, did he do that right when Jokic got drafted?

Speaker 1 He did that kind of late, late 2019.

Speaker 3 Awesome. So as he started to emerge, as it was like, this is the guy.

Speaker 1 He wasn't going to make the same mistake again. He wanted to come on, yeah.
Make sure he was committed full-time.

Speaker 1 This was going to be the guy.

Speaker 4 So we're going to have to find like a four-year-old actor for Nicola.

Speaker 1 Correct. Yeah.
Yeah. Got it.
Okay.

Speaker 4 Just wanted to make sure that that's the path that we were going.

Speaker 1 Yep. A four-year-old for Nicola.
Hot mom. Shithead dad.

Speaker 4 And then two guys that look like you and me.

Speaker 1 It's going to be a hard one.

Speaker 7 We got to figure out how we're going to find two guys that look just like me and you.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.
So I think we need to make this pilot.

Speaker 3 Every sitcom needs just a wacky neighbor, too.

Speaker 1 Okay. Put your wacky neighbor in there.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of wacky people in this office. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Bosco's crazy. Wacky.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Wacky neighbor is named

Speaker 1 JR?

Speaker 3 JR'smith?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to think. Birdman? Birdman? Birdman would be a good one.
Oh, Birdman would be good. Travail? I was just thinking, what would an enemy be to a nugget?

Speaker 1 Kobe? Sauce.

Speaker 1 Kobe.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we could. Yeah,

Speaker 1 Kobe could live next door. Yeah, well, he shouldn't be in Colorado.

Speaker 1 Okay, we'll figure it out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so I wanted you to hear that.

Speaker 1 We will make a pilot. We will make a sizzle reel.
I don't know if we have enough for more than like 45 seconds. It might just be 45 seconds of time jumps.

Speaker 3 Maybe a short film. Yeah, make the entire show out of the montage.

Speaker 1 Let's just time jump the entire show. Like, how so? Like, just.

Speaker 1 Like, every minute, it's like,

Speaker 1 we don't know where we are in time.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 3 And also, it should have a lot of NBA highlights in it. Yes.
Like, of Carmelo Anthony and then of Nicole Jokic. It should actually be mostly highlights.
Should it be like each year of their life?

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Each time jump. So then it's just like another year of like Carmelo, you know, doing something great in New York and their dad turning into them.
These fucking kids, you know.

Speaker 1 And then next year it's like, oh, Carmelo Anthony, he's only 13 Knicks. You know, we got something.
Yeah. And he's just reminded of his kids.
You know, maybe it's something like that.

Speaker 3 And they could have like a little robot sidekick named AI.

Speaker 3 It's got braids like Alan Iverson. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I like this.

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 1 who doesn't want to watch a sitcom about like the mid-2010s?

Speaker 1 Denver, Colorado. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Great time and place.

Speaker 3 Can you tell me how you came up with this idea?

Speaker 3 Because you're not a Nuggets fan.

Speaker 1 No, so my theory is

Speaker 1 your theory of how you came up with this idea. Yeah, it all comes together.

Speaker 1 I think that

Speaker 1 the best shows ever are like, you know, like Simpsons, Family Guy, Office, Friends, normal people. Normal people, normal environments, normal places.
So, two kinds of shit-staying campuses.

Speaker 1 Simpsons and Family Guy are cartoons. Yeah, but they're family, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 1 There's a talking dog in Family Guy.

Speaker 1 Look at that. The specifics.

Speaker 4 And a talking baby. Family Guy is bad example.

Speaker 1 The specifics aren't what matters. It's about the fact that regular people that we can all relate to.
Yeah, we can relate to them.

Speaker 1 Maybe you're not a stoner, but you've seen these two. You've seen those types of kids around.
And now, instead of it being like a sad existence,

Speaker 1 I'm so confused.

Speaker 3 What types of kids?

Speaker 1 You know, stoners. Oh,

Speaker 1 no.

Speaker 4 Carmelo and Anthony.

Speaker 4 I was still looking at the family guy.

Speaker 1 No, sorry. I'm moving on.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And those type, but the backstory of that's usually kind of sadder. And, you know, it's like a little bit more like, yeah, but this is kind of funny.
You know, it's just Carmelo. And it's Anthony.

Speaker 1 You know, the resentment doesn't come from like, you know, a fucking divorce or something. It comes from, you know.
you're naming your kids Carmelo Anthony.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and then you're dumb enough to not like try to change it.

Speaker 1 It's just, yeah, it's, it's,

Speaker 1 look, I don't think this answered the question.

Speaker 3 It's really a story about what.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know how.

Speaker 3 I was trying to figure out how you decided that the Denver Nuggets would be like the perfect.

Speaker 1 I just needed a name that had two first names.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's it. I knew that was going to be.
That's it.

Speaker 1 And I can figure out how to do it. No, it all goes around.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And Weed Legal in Colorado.
So

Speaker 1 two for two, and I went with it. Got it.
So you kind of started with just anyone who's got two first names, and we'll just figure out the rest. We'll figure out the story.
Got it.

Speaker 1 Okay. I like it.
I'm in. Thank you.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 I knew you would be. I think this sounds lucrative.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
By the way, do you understand the new NBA deal?

Speaker 1 It's on every channel now?

Speaker 3 So they extended with ESP and Disney, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, and then another. TikTok.
and NBC.

Speaker 3 This is what the leagues are doing.

Speaker 1 Amazon, I heard that Amazon's getting, this might be rumor, Amazon's going to get one of the conference finals

Speaker 1 every two years on Amazon Prime.

Speaker 3 This is what the leagues are doing. They're just, they're chopping it up, and they're cutting it, and they're selling a bunch of NBA to us that we have to buy individually.
Yeah. So I want to know,

Speaker 3 if you were to be able to watch every NBA game and every NFL game, how much per year does that cost you to be a sports fan? Right. I feel like that's the real...

Speaker 3 inflation in the United States right now.

Speaker 1 It's becoming expensive to be a sports fan.

Speaker 3 They're pricing a lot of people out of watching sports. Yeah.
And that shouldn't be right.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 And we should do something about it.

Speaker 1 And we won't. We won't.
But I'm not going to pay for all the stuff they make us pay for.

Speaker 3 But I'd like the record to show that I'm upset about it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I'd like the record to show that

Speaker 1 I'm mad.

Speaker 3 Same.

Speaker 1 Mad. We're mad.

Speaker 3 I'm mad as hell, and I'm going to keep taking it. Yep.

Speaker 1 Not going to do a thing. Yep.
Not going to do a goddamn thing.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's get to our Mount Rushwar. Let's do our Mount Rushwar.
Then we have Jason Worth and Xander Shauffley.

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Speaker 1 Okay, time for Mount Rushmore.

Speaker 1 It is time for the Mount Rushmore

Speaker 1 of Round Things.

Speaker 1 Mount Rushmore of Round Things.

Speaker 1 Hank, you kind of groaned when we came up with this idea.

Speaker 1 Are you not into round things?

Speaker 9 I mean, that just didn't happen.

Speaker 1 That was Cap. That was Cap.

Speaker 3 Do you like this Mount Rushmore?

Speaker 1 I'd like to hear you say it. You like it.
You like it. You like it.

Speaker 9 I like the open-ended one.

Speaker 1 Okay. I love it.
All right.

Speaker 3 Round things are actually enclosed.

Speaker 1 They're very much enclosed, so this might be a struggle for you. All right, so I have first pick.

Speaker 1 I have first pick. There's so many good picks.

Speaker 3 There's a lot of good round things.

Speaker 1 There's so many good round things.

Speaker 1 I'm going to try to keep it just basic, simple, run the ball. Mount Rushmore round things.

Speaker 1 A pizza.

Speaker 3 That's a good pick. Pizza.
That was my 1-1.

Speaker 1 It's a beautiful round thing. You see your big full pizza.
There's just nothing better. Yeah.

Speaker 9 Good choice. That was my 1-1 as well.
I thought I would get it for sure.

Speaker 9 Because I assumed you were going to take donuts.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was also on there, but I was like, pizza is just, listen, I love donuts.

Speaker 1 I love donuts, but if you had to, if it's pizza or donuts for the rest of your life, you'd have to take pizza.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I would agree with that. Like, I'm just being honest.
Like, I love donuts, but you can't eat donuts every single day. You could eat pizza almost every day.
Burrito, actually, you could eat more.

Speaker 3 I don't know if you'd be able to eat a pizza every day. That would get old real fast.
Also,

Speaker 3 what if you took one bite? No, old. People would get sick of that.

Speaker 9 You would never eat.

Speaker 9 Pizzas are round. I'm not objecting.

Speaker 3 Oh, it sounds like you're objecting.

Speaker 9 But you don't eat like a donut, you eat as a circle. You don't eat a pizza as a circle.

Speaker 1 What about

Speaker 3 you eat from the inside of the circle out?

Speaker 1 What about the slices? What about the long ones, the long, skinny ones? What about...

Speaker 3 What about in Ninja Turtles, the video game, when you just run over pie and just

Speaker 3 jump in your mouth?

Speaker 9 I feel like those have a different type of

Speaker 1 longjonds.

Speaker 1 What are they called? I think the Long Johns?

Speaker 1 No, Pizza is round.

Speaker 3 Final. Pizza is round.

Speaker 9 I know.

Speaker 1 What about a bear claw? What about a fritter?

Speaker 9 Those are different names.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true. You got me there.

Speaker 3 They're at a donut store.

Speaker 1 They are at a donut store.

Speaker 3 Something to think about.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 9 Donuts are more pure round.

Speaker 1 Wow, so we're going to do pure roundness? I mean, okay.

Speaker 3 Yeah, we're doing. Just a thought.
We're doing skull measurements now, Hank.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.

Speaker 1 Let's hope you don't pick anything that's not fully round.

Speaker 1 Let's hope. Let's hope.
Let's hope. Okay, Max.

Speaker 4 I'll be taking boobs.

Speaker 1 Ah, you dick. Good one.

Speaker 4 I thought that was an easy one, one.

Speaker 1 Hank, would you like to say anything about boobs not being fully round?

Speaker 1 They're not.

Speaker 1 And Hank has spoken.

Speaker 1 Right? Yeah, no,

Speaker 1 they are. They are.
They're curved.

Speaker 3 They're round. It's a round piece of meat.
Is it curved or?

Speaker 1 Yeah, all right. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Good pick. Yeah, good pick.
Great pick. Okay.

Speaker 3 All right. I'm going to go with

Speaker 3 pie.

Speaker 3 Pie is round.

Speaker 3 Do you you want to object to that, Hank?

Speaker 1 No, I like that pick. Okay.
All right.

Speaker 3 Love pie. I'm more of a pie guy than I'm a cake guy.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I think.
Pie clears cake all day.

Speaker 3 Birthday cake, pretty decent. Pie, vastly superior.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You don't think pie clears cake?

Speaker 9 I think I've had more cake than pie in my life.

Speaker 1 That's not the question, sir. So, yeah, I would say that's because personal

Speaker 1 one is one is served more. Doesn't mean it's better.

Speaker 3 You get force-fed cake at birthdays. I would prefer birthday pies.

Speaker 1 Ice cream is better than cake.

Speaker 1 Why don't they just do ice cream at every birthday?

Speaker 1 Because you just do.

Speaker 1 They do both. No,

Speaker 1 they do cake way more than ice cream at a birthday.

Speaker 9 But you've had more ice cream than cake because it's better.

Speaker 3 I've definitely had way more ice cream than cake.

Speaker 1 Yeah, easily.

Speaker 1 I probably have had a lot of pie.

Speaker 3 But that's because I select the ice cream myself. I go out of my way to purchase ice cream.
I don't get ice cream foisted upon me like people do with cake sometimes.

Speaker 3 I don't want to talk shit about cake because I do enjoy cake, but pie is way better.

Speaker 3 Okay, pie, number one. And then back to me.

Speaker 3 The wheel.

Speaker 1 Good pick. The wheel.
Add it on there.

Speaker 3 Maybe the best invention of all time.

Speaker 1 Add it on there.

Speaker 3 That in red zone.

Speaker 1 Add it on there.

Speaker 1 Damn.

Speaker 3 You complain about that, Hank?

Speaker 1 Nope. Okay.
Good. Nice.

Speaker 10 I'm going to take a basketball.

Speaker 1 Yep. Okay.

Speaker 3 Good pick. Shit.

Speaker 1 Man, I'm getting foisted

Speaker 9 i'm going to take

Speaker 1 earth yeah ah

Speaker 1 good pick is this terrible mount rush more might be

Speaker 1 might be

Speaker 3 the earth's not round hank yeah ask your boy kyrie it's way more round than boobs uh

Speaker 1 and i oh oh

Speaker 3 you just went out of order You're right.

Speaker 1 Wait. What were you going to say? He didn't go out of order.
No, he's fine. You're good.
You're good. Go.
What's your pick? Your other one. You have two? No?

Speaker 3 I shouldn't have stopped you. Fuck.
What's the punishment if you go out of order? There should be a...

Speaker 1 No, you can just take... The other person can take it.

Speaker 3 Yeah, true.

Speaker 1 Hmm.

Speaker 1 Hmm. There's a lot of good ones, but I don't really know.

Speaker 1 Am I just going to go all food?

Speaker 3 I mean, some of the best round things are food.

Speaker 1 It is a lot of, there's a lot of food out there.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.
I'm gonna go with

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm gonna go with a cookie cookie beautiful round thing Love a chocolate chip cookie

Speaker 1 And then I will go

Speaker 1 People are gonna be confused because they're gonna think that our Mount Rushmores are not the blind Mount Rushmores I'm gonna go with the golf ball Great ball. Okay.

Speaker 3 Decent ball. That's great ball.

Speaker 1 They're gonna think I was you and you were me especially when I take my next pick.

Speaker 9 Oh, no. The sphere.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit. This is going to be very shit.

Speaker 1 I'm going to lose because people vote against Hank. Damn, big cat.
You're really, you're really stinking this, my rush. You're talking right now.

Speaker 3 And Hank's reaping all the benefits. That's wild.

Speaker 1 Shit.

Speaker 9 I mean, we never know until the votes get cast.

Speaker 1 Kind of a fraudulent pick by you because you've never been.

Speaker 1 Also, wait, is there sphere a.

Speaker 3 Yeah, because we gave the earth and boobs.

Speaker 1 But it's also not fully round.

Speaker 3 You just pick golf ball though.

Speaker 1 The floor.

Speaker 9 That boobs, the chest, like there's.

Speaker 1 Well, you opened this Pandora's box

Speaker 1 when you went at Peter.

Speaker 9 We allowed. No, I didn't.
I didn't. I said I'm not objecting.

Speaker 1 Boobs are round. You did.
You opened them.

Speaker 9 But there's a floor to them.

Speaker 1 Boobs are round.

Speaker 1 They are around in

Speaker 1 the shape.

Speaker 3 Hank, you can't see the flat part, though. The flat part is connected.
That's the same with the sphere. So the part that you see.
Yeah. No, I think both play.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm fucked. I'm fucked with this one because he's...

Speaker 1 people are just going to look at it blind and just be like, donut, sphere.

Speaker 4 No, you may actually be good because some people have been wanting to give Hank

Speaker 1 Pity votes. Maybe I'll get that.

Speaker 1 Maybe I'll get that.

Speaker 4 I'm going to go with a baseball.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit.

Speaker 3 You took mine. Baseball is a good pick.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 3 Now you got two. So now I got two.
I'm going to go with the sun

Speaker 3 because there would be no earth without the sun. Yeah.

Speaker 3 And all of us would be dead.

Speaker 9 But that's fine.

Speaker 3 It's just what? It's just gas. Yeah, but gas isn't like the cool way to say.

Speaker 9 Round gas?

Speaker 3 Round gas. That shit's gas as fuck.
Big round gas. Yeah, big round gas.
And then... I mean, the sun is...

Speaker 1 What? It's gas.

Speaker 3 It's burning gas. It's a burning.

Speaker 1 There's no burning ball. I'm going to be honest with you guys right now.
A moon is round. Scientifically speaking, I'm going to...
Take myself out of this because I don't know what it is.

Speaker 3 The sun is round.

Speaker 1 I just assumed the sun was fire. You wait.

Speaker 3 Are you like extra woke and you think that the sun is flat?

Speaker 1 Is the sun lava?

Speaker 3 It's gas. It's plasma.
It's actually plasma if you look it up.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I'm in over my head. I never thought I'd be stepping away from a Hank

Speaker 1 debate, but I am.

Speaker 3 Hank's looking it up.

Speaker 1 Hank knows more about the sun than me.

Speaker 3 What is the sun?

Speaker 9 Is the sun round?

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 9 The sun is not a perfect spear.

Speaker 9 A perfect what?

Speaker 1 You should get a... That should be illegal now that you got that pick.

Speaker 3 Okay, so for my last one, I'm going to go go with.

Speaker 9 Sun doesn't have a solid surface.

Speaker 1 Shut the fuck up.

Speaker 3 Neither does the earth.

Speaker 1 Ever heard of water?

Speaker 9 We're on a solid surface.

Speaker 3 Yeah, partially.

Speaker 3 Shut the fuck up, Hank. All right, my last one.

Speaker 1 I'm going to take bagels.

Speaker 3 Bagels. Love bagels.
Bagel sandwiches. Bagels for breakfast.

Speaker 1 I was just going too many foods.

Speaker 3 Yeah, bagel, baby.

Speaker 1 Okay. Bagel boss.
Meat? Yeah.

Speaker 4 I'm going to, I've taken it in my fourth pick like 10 times. I'm going to go meatball.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Meatball. Meatball.
Meatball again. Max just hits the meatball button.

Speaker 1 Hank.

Speaker 1 Oh, he's about to be really thinking.

Speaker 3 This is about to be a reach.

Speaker 1 Bullseye. Hmm.
Okay. Well,

Speaker 1 be careful.

Speaker 3 Don't let's not contribute to the toxic climate.

Speaker 1 What the fuck does that mean? Bullseye. Were you trying to say dartboard?

Speaker 1 You're just saying bullseye. The target load button.
Got it. Got it.
You'll be bullseye. Yeah, bullseye.

Speaker 3 So you're talking about the center of a dartboard.

Speaker 9 Yeah, the best. That's the

Speaker 9 bullseye. That's a great round thing.
You got a bullseye. Yeah, it's a bad pick, whatever.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Let's pick out.

Speaker 1 Man,

Speaker 1 I don't know what to do here. I got so many food options.
And then I got one.

Speaker 1 Hubie, should I go crazy or a little bit outside or stick with the food? You need to risk it for the biscuit now. Okay.

Speaker 3 You want to go biscuit?

Speaker 1 Is that what you're saying? Biscuit's a great pic. Yeah.
All right.

Speaker 1 Super Bowl ring.

Speaker 1 How is that not round? Kind of. It's a ring.

Speaker 3 The ring part is round. Right.

Speaker 1 I mean, everything we said. But

Speaker 1 everything else we've said has had parts that. The sphere.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but the part that makes it a Super Bowl ring is not round.

Speaker 1 But it's a ring. It's round.

Speaker 3 It's what's on. It's what's built into it.

Speaker 1 The ring is round. So listen.
Fine. I'm going to allow it off.
No, no, I'm not going to. No, no, no, no.

Speaker 4 That has to be allowed.

Speaker 1 I'm going to allow it, but we're going to debate it. Okay.

Speaker 3 It has to be allowed, Max.

Speaker 4 Well, with everything that we've said, we haven't said anything's not allowed.

Speaker 4 Like,

Speaker 4 a ring is round.

Speaker 1 A ring is round. It's a Super Bowl ring.

Speaker 1 But it is round.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's stuff on top, but it's round. You put your finger in the round part.
It's a Super Bowl ring.

Speaker 1 Memes. Also, there's a lot of Super Bowl rings that were fully round until recently.
Max Bowl. That's true.
Like the old school Super Bowl rings were were literally just rings. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like a little diamond on top. Super Bowl ring rocks.

Speaker 3 What do we miss? A lot. We did miss a lot.

Speaker 1 All right, so here were the food options I was thinking about. Butthole.
No.

Speaker 3 Butt cheeks. Butt cheeks.
Butts. Butts are round.
Is a vagina round? Like, I'm talking about the actual.

Speaker 3 I don't think so. No.

Speaker 1 The hole? No, the like, yeah, the pee hole?

Speaker 3 The part that you go in. Yeah.
Not talking about the labia majora.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I've never seen one.

Speaker 1 Waffles, tortillas, Reese's peanut butter cups.

Speaker 3 Pancakes.

Speaker 1 Pancakes. MMs.
Yep. Onion rings.

Speaker 1 I had

Speaker 1 Round Here, Connie Crowe's song. That song rocks.
Okay. I was just thinking of round and I was

Speaker 1 got in my head and I was just like, oh, I put it on my list.

Speaker 3 Lifesavers.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 3 The thing and the candy.

Speaker 1 Pie charts.

Speaker 3 Pie chart. I hate pie charts.

Speaker 1 I like pie charts.

Speaker 3 No, give me a good, give me a graph, like the bar graph.

Speaker 1 No, see, because then you got to read the X and the Y. I like the pie chart.
I just look at it and it's like, okay, got it.

Speaker 3 What about a tin of dip? Yep. Or Lucy.

Speaker 1 Lucy. Manhole cover?

Speaker 3 Manhole cover, classic round thing. Yep.

Speaker 1 Those are cool to look at.

Speaker 9 Gongs.

Speaker 3 Gongs. Yeah, symbols in general.
Records. Drums.
The wheel of Fortune Wheel.

Speaker 1 Fuck. Pretty cool.
Yeah. That one's pretty cool.
Sushi?

Speaker 3 Sushi's round. Yep.

Speaker 1 Toilet paper roll?

Speaker 3 Yeah, but not a fan. I kind of need it.
I got really into the

Speaker 3 day situation. Burger, yeah.

Speaker 1 Burgers.

Speaker 3 Burgers, you got to go.

Speaker 1 There you go. Hubie.

Speaker 3 Oreos.

Speaker 1 Oh, this one's going to be triggering for Max, so maybe take off your headphones.

Speaker 1 Ping pong balls. Ping pong balls around.
Ping pong balls around. Yeah.
And they're great.

Speaker 9 Tennis balls, I think, are more versatile than

Speaker 1 a baseball or a golf ball. Yeah, if I could have taken anything back, I'd probably go the bouncy ball, the classic bouncy ball.
Yeah. That's my favorite ball.

Speaker 9 If you're left alone with it.

Speaker 9 If you had the option to be left alone

Speaker 9 with a tennis ball, a golf ball, or a baseball.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's tennis ball all day. All day.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Throw it against the wall, bounce it off the ground.

Speaker 1 Throw it up to yourself.

Speaker 3 Baseball would be cool because you could work on your grips. Yeah.

Speaker 1 A bowl.

Speaker 1 A bowl? Yeah, a bowl. Oh, yeah, yeah, bowl.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 A bowl. is round.
Yeah. And also, like, I was thinking about it.

Speaker 1 There's nothing really that you have a bad bowl of. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 When you're getting a bowl out, you're getting just good. It's like soup, ice cream, cereal, cereal, all good things.
It's just great things. Yeah, I agree.

Speaker 1 Popcorn, like, a bowl delivers great things.

Speaker 3 It does.

Speaker 1 A plate, you could have a bad meal, but a bowl is fucking great.

Speaker 3 Basketball hoop?

Speaker 1 Basketball ring? Sorry?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I did have dartboard on. Hank took bullseye.

Speaker 1 What about an aura?

Speaker 1 Can I get dartboard?

Speaker 3 I feel like auras are round. No.

Speaker 1 The O button,

Speaker 1 the spin button.

Speaker 3 Yeah, spin button's good.

Speaker 1 The number 100 is a round number, right? Yeah. It's a great number.

Speaker 3 Just the letter O. Yeah, the letter O? Letter O is good.
Letter O.

Speaker 3 Nobody took circle.

Speaker 9 Can I get dartboard bullseye?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 So you said bullseye.

Speaker 1 Ferris wheel?

Speaker 1 Ferris wheel?

Speaker 3 Yeah, those are very cool. They scare me.

Speaker 1 I like those.

Speaker 1 Oh, Hank, you said bullseye. I even said dartboard.
You said bullseye. Yeah, dartboard bullseye.
No, bullseye.

Speaker 9 Whatever. That's.
All right.

Speaker 3 I'm giving you your pick. Yeah, you said bullseye.
And you said, no, just bullseye.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 9 Bullseye. Like you said, dartboard, I said bullseye.

Speaker 3 You clarified and said just bullseye. Me? What?

Speaker 9 You got Kentucky Derby winning racehorse.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's an animal.

Speaker 9 It could have just been racehorse.

Speaker 3 But I specified.

Speaker 3 But I specified as I made the pick, Kentucky Derby winning racehorse. You, on the other hand, said bullseye.
Then we asked you numerous follow-up questions about the bullseye.

Speaker 3 I don't think I said the best. And then you said just the bullseye.

Speaker 9 I don't think I said just the bullseye.

Speaker 1 I just said bullseye. I think you did.

Speaker 2 Because they did give you the option to.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we gave you. You said dartboard almost immediately.

Speaker 3 We gave you a lifeboat.

Speaker 1 Okay. Right away.
My bad. No, it's good, dude.
You're doing fine, sweetie. Thanks.

Speaker 3 What about just an eye, a human eye?

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 3 that's it. Eyes are great.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Eyes are great. A tire.
I know we have wheel, but tires are cool.

Speaker 3 Blueberries.

Speaker 3 Nectarines. Yep.

Speaker 1 Peaches.

Speaker 3 Yeah. A lot of good fruits.

Speaker 1 Grapes.

Speaker 1 What kind of grapes do you guys like?

Speaker 9 Purple.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Same.
I like wine. I like the green ones.
I like the only

Speaker 1 purple, and then if I had to pick second, it's the cotton candy ones.

Speaker 3 Cotton candy is good. Those ones are so

Speaker 1 freak me out.

Speaker 3 They're too sweet almost. They taste so.

Speaker 4 Why do they taste like cotton candy?

Speaker 3 Yeah, they're weird. Cherries?

Speaker 3 testicles, testicles.

Speaker 4 I thought about testicles.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but balls is kind of tough to put up there. Yeah.
It's not.

Speaker 1 A racetrack?

Speaker 3 Yeah, racetrack that's round.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it goes round. Right?

Speaker 3 Medicine.

Speaker 4 Ferris wheel.

Speaker 1 I said Ferris wheel just now. It's okay.
I'm dumb. No, no, that's fine.
We're moving fast. We also had Hank kind of derail us with the bullseye thing.

Speaker 3 UFOs.

Speaker 3 Flying saucers.

Speaker 1 A lighthouse if you're from bird's eye view, yeah, looking down.

Speaker 3 It actually kind of looks like a bullseye.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 How did this happen, Hank?

Speaker 1 The Barshall Sports logo?

Speaker 3 Also round. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. Okay, that was a good Mount Rushmore.
I feel good about it. Everyone feel good?

Speaker 3 I feel good. I think

Speaker 3 Hank felt good until Bullseye.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's fair. But they're going to vote.

Speaker 10 Like, they're going to think that

Speaker 1 you're me and me. I'm you.

Speaker 1 What are your picks? Sphere? Donut?

Speaker 1 Bullseye? What was the other one?

Speaker 1 And I have golf ball, pizza. Earth.

Speaker 1 You have a good pick because you got Mount Rushworth.

Speaker 3 You got pretty much everything.

Speaker 1 Everyone critiques every Mount Rushwarn. Sometimes you got to take shots.
You say things.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Who cares? Now, if I had

Speaker 1 the whole point is to just have fun with the boys.

Speaker 3 After Max's first pick, if I had picked nipples, would that have counted?

Speaker 1 No, you can't. That's like

Speaker 9 a part of it.

Speaker 1 Oh, Pepperoni is a great pick.

Speaker 1 Fuck. I didn't want to go so hard food.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think Nipples would have not counted just because they are part of the boob. They're the most important boob.

Speaker 1 They're the part of the boob.

Speaker 3 But it's the best part of the boob.

Speaker 1 Right, if you don't have a nipple, you have no boob.

Speaker 4 Memes wanted me to just take synonyms of boobs. So I was going to go melons, pepperonis.

Speaker 1 Oh, you should have.

Speaker 1 Memes.

Speaker 1 You horny, horny. Front porches.

Speaker 1 Okay, good Mount Rushmore, boys.

Speaker 3 Good job.

Speaker 1 Give it up for Chicago.

Speaker 11 Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep

Speaker 1 coming.

Speaker 11 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right. Premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers.

Speaker 1 Terms apply.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is 15-year MLB Pro Jason Worth, also horse owner.

Speaker 1 Jason, thank you for coming. In studio.
My pleasure to see you. You got the American Century Championship hat on.
Yeah. Golfer.
Still flying the hat there. Yeah.
So

Speaker 1 let's start with, actually, I don't know where you want to start. We want to start horse owning.
We want to start

Speaker 1 all your businesses that you got going on.

Speaker 1 Wherever you want to start. Wherever we start with.
We're going to be here. I finally made it.
Actually, I'll start here.

Speaker 1 Jason Wirth, the connection that we have is we just had David Wells on a couple weeks ago, and Jason Worth's first

Speaker 1 MLB hit was against David Wells.

Speaker 1 How pumped were you for your first MLB hit? Also, how long did it take? Because I always wonder, like guys who take a while, does it really fuck you up? Yeah, so it's a good story. So

Speaker 1 I was a catcher all like growing up and up until Triple A.

Speaker 1 And then I was with Toronto. They finally were like tired of watching it, so they moved me to the outfield.
And I played left in AAA the whole year, played like 10 games in center.

Speaker 1 And I get to the September 1st, I get called up. We're playing the Yankees

Speaker 1 in the Sky Dome or Rogers Center, whatever they call it now. And I go into the clubhouse, I look at the lineup, and I'm like, oh, shit,

Speaker 1 you know, nine, batting ninth, worth nine.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, the fuck's nine?

Speaker 1 I'm like, oh, shit, I'm playing right field.

Speaker 1 I've never even seen a nine by my name before. So I was like, okay.
So, you know, you don't ever play in stadiums with five decks.

Speaker 1 You don't ever play in domes, you know, when you're a kid growing up, you know, minor leagues, whatever. So my first game is playing right field at Rogers Center.

Speaker 1 We were out there playing catch running sprints before the game, and they opened the dome. And so I'm like, this is fucked.

Speaker 1 And of course, first pitch of the game, Alfonso Soriano hits the highest fly ball that I ever caught in my career.

Speaker 1 First pitch in the big league. But you caught it.
But I caught it barely. And then my first at-bat

Speaker 1 off Boomer, I hit a bullet down the third baseline, and Ron Coomer was playing third that day, and he picked it up.

Speaker 1 And I think he threw it between his legs to second for a double play. And I'm like, I didn't really get doubled up much in my career, especially when I was younger because I could move a little bit.

Speaker 1 And first at bat in the big leagues, it was like

Speaker 1 a piss missile double play. I'm still standing in the box.
I'm like, fuck.

Speaker 3 They're doing like Harlem Globetrotter shit. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 Exactly. Like, I'll never get a hit.
So I ended up getting a hit in the game. We won.

Speaker 1 I think I had two hits, maybe. I don't know.
It was a long time ago. But that's really not the Boomer Wells story

Speaker 1 that

Speaker 1 I was mentioning. So a couple years later, I'm with the Dodgers, and I hit a Homer off them.
And

Speaker 1 after the game, he texts Jeff Weaver, who's a teammate with LA, and he said,

Speaker 1 What's up with that Worth kid? He's like, Oh, dude, you love him. And so he comes over and he's like, All right, he's like, tells Weave, he's like, tell Worth to meet me at this address.

Speaker 1 And so, Dream, he comes over and he's like, Hey, Boomer wants you to meet him at this address. And I'm like, You know, I'm like, I'm a kid.
I'm like, well,

Speaker 1 is this like a Hell's Angels? Yeah, you're going to get

Speaker 1 killed?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm like, what's going on? He's like, no, he's cool.

Speaker 1 So I go, I meet him, like, best time ever. Just the coolest dude.
Like, yeah, you know, a couple friends there. And, like, we just hung out and boozed it up one night in L.A.

Speaker 1 and, like, you know, I was still a rookie at the time. So it was like my first experience with David Wells.
And I've been friends with him ever since. And like, Solomon American Century.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you saw the picture or whatever.

Speaker 1 Just the greatest guy. I mean, I've ran into him and we've hung out like, you know, 50 times.
Probably,

Speaker 1 I go to his charity golf event. He's like one of my better friends in baseball that I didn't actually play with.
Yeah. It's awesome.
So he's the man.

Speaker 1 That's a scary proposition to hit a home run off him and then have him be like, meet me here. Yeah, well, I was like, what the fuck?

Speaker 3 You're getting set up. It's like that scene in Goodfellows.

Speaker 1 I was getting mailed. I was legit scared.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I wonder how many other guys that he's given up the first hit to, and then he texts them afterwards. He's like, I have to be best friends with you.

Speaker 3 He seems like a baseball historian, so I imagine it's probably a handful of you guys.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know. He's a cool ass dude, though.
Yeah. So wait, wait, I have a question about the catcher to outfield thing.

Speaker 1 That's, I mean, you, you thought you were going to be a catcher your whole life. At what point were you like, this is probably not going to work out, and I have to go play in the outfield?

Speaker 1 And how long did it take to like actually learn outfield? So double A was 01 with first year with

Speaker 1 the Blue Jays, and they started playing me at some different positions, DHing. We had Josh Phelps was there,

Speaker 1 Kevin Cash, Guillermo Kiros. There's like a backlog of catchers with the Blue Jays.

Speaker 1 And I had a big year in AA that year. It was like my kind of my breakout minor league season, hit like 20 homers.
And the next year in spring training was been 0-2.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 Dick Scott was the farm director, and he came in and wanted to have a conversation with me. He sits me down.

Speaker 1 He's like, How would you feel about moving to, and before he could even tell me where, I was like, Yes.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 Like, wherever you're talking talking about I was you were done catching I mean I wasn't not a very good first baseman but I would I would have done that all day long instead of catching but it feels like fucking sucks yeah but the only thing with catching is it it probably sucks beyond belief but you don't like if you hit 20 home runs as a catcher you're one of the best catchers whereas if you hit 20 home runs as an outfielder it's like ah he's okay so I'm I'm 6'5 I actually didn't crazy you caught didn't even like catching you know it's like you're always getting second guessed by the pitching coach and if you know if somebody hits a home run it's your fault yeah you

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 The stand out in the outfield and picking daisies, that sort of thing is more my style. Yeah, save your knees.

Speaker 3 Save your knees. That's probably the, I mean, as a

Speaker 3 back. 6'5? Yeah, and you're back.
Trying to catch for that long.

Speaker 1 I played with Matt Wieders in Washington. He was like 6'4.

Speaker 1 And, I mean, it was like he'd been catching for a long time. And you could tell, like, it just,

Speaker 1 you know, he couldn't run, his knees, his back, everything was slow. And I could run.
So, you know, by the time May came around, you know, catching you, you couldn't run.

Speaker 1 I caught over 100 games four years in a row in the minor leagues. Yeah, that sounds awful.
Yeah, it's terrible. Yeah.

Speaker 3 So, growing up, you were a baseball family, right?

Speaker 3 Everybody in your family played professional baseball. Correct.
Was there any option for you to not be a professional baseball player? Was it always like Jason, one day he will play in the big league?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, from the time I was like hitting T-ball or even before that,

Speaker 1 I did sign with the University of Georgia, and I was an all-state basketball player in the state of Illinois. Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 Hot take.

Speaker 1 If I went to Georgia, I was going to try and walk on play hoops. Wow.
I don't know if it would have worked, but I don't think I had much of a career path in basketball.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, that's the classic debate. How many Major League Baseball players could play in the NBA? How many NBA players could play Major League Baseball?

Speaker 1 I think I could have maybe sat the bench if I really put a lot of time into it. Yeah.
Yeah. Would have been like

Speaker 1 a nobody.

Speaker 3 Yeah. So obviously I'm a Nationals fan.
Max behind the glass is a Phillies fan. We had this debate earlier.
Do you consider yourself to be a national or a Philly?

Speaker 1 Who am I talking to?

Speaker 3 You're talking to me.

Speaker 1 Well, I'm a Nat.

Speaker 1 Nat for you. You're also talking to me.
I'm a Philly. Nat for life.

Speaker 1 I got a question.

Speaker 3 Which team did you retire for?

Speaker 1 Washington. Yeah, Nat.

Speaker 3 Isn't that interesting?

Speaker 1 Philly. But it's interesting that he came back to Washington.
He paid you more.

Speaker 1 Washington. Washington.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Which team did you change the culture at?

Speaker 1 Washington. Which team did you hit more

Speaker 1 past season for? The Phillies. And that team I was on in Philly.
I mean, we took that, we were losing in 07.

Speaker 1 We ran down the Mets, 08, we ran down the Mets Winner World Series.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 that changed Philadelphia at the time. So, I mean, that run from Philly to Washington was pretty good for me.

Speaker 1 Being in the Middle East, I mean, there is the whole deal. We're good now, but there was that seven years of getting boot off the field every time I stepped on the field in Philadelphia.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's, I mean, there's no animosity anymore. So

Speaker 1 we're good. Yeah, you're a champion.
Yeah, we won.

Speaker 1 What was the

Speaker 1 was there any like chance you were going to stay in Philly when you, or is it

Speaker 1 offering me so much money? I'm not I wanted to stay in Philly. I mean I

Speaker 1 we had a great team. We were all about the same age.
I mean you know Chase and Phil and Jimmy and Shane and

Speaker 1 then they kind of pat left whatever. But I mean we had an awesome team Cole.

Speaker 1 I wanted to stay but

Speaker 1 there was Ryan, obviously Ryan Howard.

Speaker 1 There just wasn't the GM told me they just couldn't pay everybody. Right.
He offered me some bullshit hometown discount, even though I'm from Illinois.

Speaker 1 And it just, you know, it wasn't in the cards. I hired Scott Boris and pretty much made it known I was going to hit the free agency market.

Speaker 3 I think you should get credit for the World Series in D.C., too, because when you got to D.C.,

Speaker 3 we sucked.

Speaker 3 It was a bad ball club.

Speaker 1 200 lost seasons.

Speaker 3 Yeah, 200 lost seasons back-to-back, right?

Speaker 3 And then Jason Worth shows up.

Speaker 3 They kind of asked you to mentor Bryce Harper, which is kind of a weird thing to ask a grown man to do when they're paying another guy a lot of money. But

Speaker 3 what was that like when he was coming up? And it was like, okay, Bryce is the future of the team. Jason is the guy that's going to change the culture and move things around.

Speaker 3 But we need Jason to make sure that our young guy doesn't screw up too bad.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I wasn't very good at that.

Speaker 1 Bryce was an interesting kid.

Speaker 1 I love Bryce.

Speaker 1 We were talking about it earlier, how hard it had to have been to be Bryce Harper or

Speaker 1 Alex Rodriguez or somebody that

Speaker 1 had a lot of fame at a young age.

Speaker 1 You're the chosen one before your brain is even half-developed. And before you've even done anything in the sport or at the level.
I mean, I think Bryce had a tough time in Washington at times.

Speaker 1 At other times, he was great. He was an MVP one year.
We were good. We had good teams in Washington while I was there.

Speaker 1 But Bryce has moved on to Philly, which is kind of like

Speaker 1 funny that that happened with him. And, you know, he's, you know, now he's like the face of MLB, which was kind of what was, you know,

Speaker 1 how it was supposed to go. Yeah, it was destined for him.
And

Speaker 1 he's an awesome dude. He's a great dad, you know,

Speaker 1 great teammate, husband. I mean, Bryce has turned into an unbelievable big leaguer.

Speaker 1 So I don't know if I help or hurt that cause along the way.

Speaker 1 We had some good times. We had some tough times.
But, you know, it's all part of growing up in the big leagues.

Speaker 1 The veterans kind of have a hold of the team and the young guys got to fall in line. And,

Speaker 1 you know, Ryan Zimmerman was there, Ian Desmond. I mean, he had a lot of good guys.
We had good teams in Washington.

Speaker 1 I mean, that was one thing that's cool about my career is I've always played on good teams. Yeah.
What about, so a moment you were a little later in your career, the famous Papa Bond versus Bryce

Speaker 1 scuffle in the Decent Strangler came out. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Where were you when that was going down? And what was the vibe like in the locker room after? And how does that get resolved? I mean, Pap was just on a podcast talking about this.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you...

Speaker 1 He talks a lot. He has a lot to say.
Pap, I'll show you a video. He just sent me a video from one of the basketball games.
It was interesting.

Speaker 1 Pap's unbelievable.

Speaker 1 So I wasn't at the other side of the dugout, and it had been building. between the two of them.
You know, we weren't in the playoffs, so like August is always the month of hate in the MLB.

Speaker 1 So no matter if your team's good or bad, everybody wants to fucking kill each other.

Speaker 1 It's literally the month of hate. Just from being around each other for so much? And then

Speaker 1 either you fight and you suck, or you fight and you go on to win. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's coming. It's inevitable.
August is,

Speaker 1 everyone hates each other. It's hot.
You're miserable.

Speaker 1 And this was September, and we suck, so it was even worse. And, you know, I think Harp just didn't put it in the effort that

Speaker 1 Pap was looking for that day. And

Speaker 1 he was in the dugout. I have to go back and look why, why he was even in the dugout in the bottom of the ninth.

Speaker 1 He either must have gave up a home run or came in in a tie game or when we were down or whatever, because usually if you know, if the closer is in the dugout in the bottom of the ninth, either

Speaker 1 Louis saved, which Pap didn't do that very often.

Speaker 1 And yeah, and then I think

Speaker 1 I think the I think the key words in that exchange were either do you want to fucking go or let's let's fucking go and you're gonna read Bryce's mouth and you you see the fucking head twitch from pap you know like and it was like this happened so fast and then

Speaker 1 uh i i coined the the phrase the dc stranglers shortly after yeah so so what happens in the locker room after something like that because i i i mean shit happens like you said the the the month of hate yeah it's 162 games you guys are with each other all the time there's fights i mean people get upset i mean it happens all the time you got 25 grown-ass men that are you know work out every day.

Speaker 1 They play their balls off every day. I mean, there's fights.

Speaker 1 People hate each other. There's shit that goes on behind the scenes that no one ever sees.
That spilled over onto the cameras, which was a little tough. We had a,

Speaker 1 I guess, according to Pap's

Speaker 1 podcast he did the other day, he called a meeting, which I, you know, I just walked in there after getting our ass kicked again.

Speaker 1 And next thing I know, we have a meeting and they kind of talked about it. And

Speaker 1 that was that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What he talked about, was he like did you guys just see me kick bryce's ass is that what the meeting was i mean he apologized and i mean he called the meeting i guess and he was just like hey you know i'm sorry i wouldn't shouldn't have you know shouldn't have done this blah blah blah hey the the interesting part from a fan's perspective is because we always you know fans sit there and when we played uh the sport we're watching it was when you were in little league and like you're you're all your friends and stuff so you think in your head you're like oh these guys must all be friends but that's never how it works how like, in a clubhouse, I mean, you are and you're not.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but like, how many, how many guys, like, was there some guys in clubhouses, not even naming names, but like that you're like, yeah, they generally they like genuinely hate each other, but we can figure out a way to get along?

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 uh, you know, I mean, for the most part, everybody gets along.

Speaker 1 I mean, the Mets do things sometimes that I think would probably fall under that, you know, but they're the fucking Mets, so that's just what happens.

Speaker 1 Um, I just don't, I don't get their

Speaker 1 their franchise at all.

Speaker 1 I played in the NLEs for too long and played against them.

Speaker 3 What's so different about the Mets?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 They just suck.

Speaker 1 But so in a day-to-day, how do you, were you like considered a glue guy or are you like, I'm going to mind my own business type of guy? I mean, I would think you'd probably call me a glue guy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So was it, you, would you take responsibility of like, hey, look, I know this isn't going well right now, like just vibes. I got to figure out a way to.
I think you just make it work.

Speaker 1 I played on mostly, you know, championship teams that won the division almost every year, and you got to make it work. You know, you fight, you get up, you hug it out, and you move on.
I mean,

Speaker 1 the fight's not with each other, it's with the other team. Yeah.
You literally walk on the field, at least you used to.

Speaker 1 The game's changed a little bit, but you used to walk on the field every day, like with the mentality and the thought is I might have to fight the whole other team. Right.
Right.

Speaker 1 You know, so like that. And I know that my guy's got my back.
You know, so that's kind of the mentality at the end of the day when the game starts. You know, you're all in it together.

Speaker 1 You're all brothers. We're all going to out there to fucking kill people.

Speaker 1 Because I remember you had... That's the good teams.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you had a quote about the analytics in baseball and just how the people upstairs, they read books and do math and bullshit like that was what you said. Yeah, the...

Speaker 1 Twirlybirds. Yeah, that's what you call them.

Speaker 3 You might call them super nerds at that point, too. Yeah, I fucked that up.

Speaker 1 They're twirly birds. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 But downplaying the importance of chemistry because I do think that gets lost, especially with how the media talks about it how the analytics talk about it it's like guys wanting to fight for each other doesn't show up on a stat on a but in a box score but it's really fucking important yeah i mean i think the yankees have proved you can have the all the best players but if you don't have the chemistry it doesn't matter you know you gotta you gotta uh give me a give me a group of guys that might not be the best players but they get along and they're all moving in the right direction and we'll go win yeah because there's more the little things right i would imagine if if it's something that you actually care about you care about the guy next to you you make sure that you're backing him up on

Speaker 3 a throw to third base. Yeah.
All sorts of stuff, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, and that's the stuff off the field, too, I think,

Speaker 1 and in the clubhouse and like how that all works.

Speaker 1 The 19 Nats were a perfect example of that. I mean, we had all those things all those years.
We just couldn't get over the hump. You know, we get to the playoffs, we lose in the first round.

Speaker 1 Like, what was it? In the 19 team, they were able to put it all together. You know, they brought in Para and my nemesis, Annabelle Sanchez.

Speaker 1 He's your nemesis? Dude, just look it up. It's bad.
Oh, wait.

Speaker 1 No, tell me a story because I, Annabelle Sanchez is a personal hero of mine just because I had him on my fantasy team the year that he threw a no-hitter. That's literally the whole story.

Speaker 1 That's my only game. That was my every game against him.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's something like three for 35 with like 28 punchouts.

Speaker 1 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1 And then, like, I faced him when I was hot, when I was cold. I did hit a homer off him in Philly, but it, like, it hit the back of the fence, like, went in the flower bed.
You know, barely counted.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. Didn't feel good.
I I remember we went into Detroit. I was with the Nats.
I was hot. I was like player of the month.

Speaker 1 And I was going there. I was like, I'm going to get him.
This is it.

Speaker 1 And it was like two punchouts and a broken bat back to the pitcher. And it was just like, and I got three hits the next day.
Oh, man. It's crazy.
Didn't matter. Yeah.

Speaker 3 How psycho is Max Scherzer as a teammate?

Speaker 1 On the day he pitches,

Speaker 1 from 2:30 on. Max is great.
He's one of my buddies.

Speaker 1 He loves, you know, it's like, what are you?

Speaker 1 You're a horror. You're a horse for one day and you're a horse's ass for the next four.
Yeah. That was Max.
He's just, he's an idiot. But on the day he pitches, you won him with the ball.

Speaker 1 But at like 2.30 on, he puts the headphones on and starts listening to, like, I don't know what he's listening to. But, you know, the funny thing is

Speaker 1 he'll look over to like his

Speaker 1 locker mate and he'll be like, you know, with the squirrely ass eyes. He's got like, see you on the other side.

Speaker 1 And then he puts his fucking headphones on and he goes full psycho until he comes out of the game. It's all, It's awesome.

Speaker 1 You come in, you look at the lineup, and you're like, you know, you don't really,

Speaker 1 for the most part, you don't know who's pitching every day.

Speaker 1 You're going to play every day.

Speaker 1 Whoever pitches is inconsequential. But you walk in and you see Scherzer, you know, pitching, and you're like, immediately.
You're like, fuck yeah, let's go. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because you know he's going to be just, he's going to be fired up for the game. Yeah.
Yeah. Ultimately, ultimate.

Speaker 3 I got to ask you about the, maybe one of the best at-bats in Major League Baseball history. It was the NLDS, right? Yep.

Speaker 3 And you had 13 pitches, and then you hit a dinger, walk it off, bottom of the ninth. When we're watching that at-bat

Speaker 3 at home, it's like every single pitch, you get more and more nervous as a fan. When you're in the box going through that at-bat, are you like, fuck, another foul ball?

Speaker 3 I hope I don't fuck this next one up. Do you get more nervous or do you get more locked in?

Speaker 1 No, I only get nervous for horse racing.

Speaker 1 That at-bat was cool. So

Speaker 1 that bullpen, that Cardinal bullpen that year was the hardest throwing bullpen of all time.

Speaker 1 And it wasn't even close. And that was like the new age bullpen.
Now every bullpen is constructed like that.

Speaker 1 Everyone's throwing 100 out of the pin.

Speaker 1 Their bullpen was nasty. That Lance Lynn in there that was, you know, he had like an 18-game winner.
And I start off the 80th. He paints two heaters down the way at 97.
I'm down 0-2.

Speaker 1 I always had this thing.

Speaker 1 you know, personal thing of mine where if I got down 0-2, I'll be like, all right, let's get it to 3-2.

Speaker 1 You know, if I get to 3-2,

Speaker 1 now I can win the at-bat. So, and it's, you know, it never works out.
I mean, sometimes it does, but that's the kind of the mentality. We're going to fight.
We're going to battle and get to 3-2.

Speaker 1 You know, we're going to be tough out.

Speaker 1 And I just kept grinding and kept grinding and fouling balls off. But as I kept fouling those balls off, I kept timing them up.
And there was like a 2-2 pitch, I think. He threw a hook.

Speaker 1 And, you know, Yachty, probably the best catcher of all time, he went to frame it and just kind of hit off the bottom of his mitt, just didn't quite catch it. You know, if he catches it,

Speaker 1 I'm done.

Speaker 1 So then I went to 3-2, and I was like, I fucking got him. And I fouled the ball off, and the next pitch, I shot him, and it was like, you know, a pretty cool moment for D.C.

Speaker 1 and for me, obviously, coming, signing that big deal and

Speaker 1 kind of sucking the first year, getting the organization turned around in the right direction. And then, you know, I broke my wrist that year in 2012.

Speaker 1 I had all these wrist problems when I was younger. And so then I break my wrist, you know, second year in Washington.
It's just like, oh my God,

Speaker 1 things cannot go worse. Right.

Speaker 1 And then the team plays great. We're like best team in baseball.
I come back off the DL and it ended up in like 3, 10 or 12 or something that year and then got that hit. But the next day, I lead off

Speaker 1 with a double and we go up like six, seven runs, and then we end up fucking losing that game. Yeah.
You know,

Speaker 1 we were just so snake bit in the playoffs. We had that 18-inning game against the Giants that we couldn't win.

Speaker 1 It's just like, then we go to San Francisco. We needed to win a game and

Speaker 1 all hell breaks loose. We got, you know, it was just, it was weird.
It was like, it was like, we just, we just weren't meant to win. You know, everything went against us.

Speaker 1 The series against the Cubs that year,

Speaker 1 I mean, we had, we had them beat,

Speaker 1 and we, we beat them up. You know, when they went and played the Dodgers the next round, they had nothing.
Yeah. Same thing the next year, we hit the Dodgers, we had them beat.

Speaker 1 They had burned Clayton Kershaw off no day's rest out of the bullpen. And we had, you know, we had them beat, and they, they ended up beat us, and then they played the Cubs, and they had nothing left.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You know, we were set up.
I felt like we were just hitting our stride.

Speaker 1 So it was like if we could ever have gotten through the first round, I mean, I thought every time we were in the playoffs, we were going to win it all. So

Speaker 1 and then, but, you know, we got our championship in 2019. I wasn't there, but I feel like, like you said, I had a lot to do with that team and those guys.

Speaker 3 Well, it's a big change in terms of what the team was like before you got there to what the way that you left the team afterwards. And you were talking about like changing culture.

Speaker 3 Is there any what how much can one guy do as a baseball player to change a culture in the city?

Speaker 1 I mean, I tried a lot. We got a lot.
Zim was a big, big help. I mean, if I ever wanted to get anything done, I went to Ryan.
The ownership and the GMs, they would listen to Ryan.

Speaker 1 I became white noise, I think, towards the end. I was asking for so much.

Speaker 1 You know, we changed the medical.

Speaker 1 We changed the food and the clubhouse and did a lot of good stuff and created this a really good environment for guys to go and win and be successful and be comfortable.

Speaker 3 How important is the food?

Speaker 1 I think it's everything.

Speaker 1 Would you stop at McDonald's and feed your racehorse

Speaker 1 at Big Mac on the way to the track and expect him to win?

Speaker 1 Or would you want to feed him the best food in the world and make sure he

Speaker 1 has everything he needs from a training

Speaker 1 mind, body, spirit type of approach?

Speaker 1 I got a question about your time in Washington as well, and it doesn't totally apply, but it's more like where baseball's headed.

Speaker 1 So obviously it was very famous when Strasburg came up and he gets hurt and then they put the limits on him.

Speaker 1 You see it now with young pitchers like Paul Skeens had a no-hitter going through seven, and they took him out of the game.

Speaker 1 What do the rest of the guys in the clubhouse think when the management puts a limit on the pitchers, and you know that it's not the pitcher's fault, but you're like, come on, like this guy's a stud.

Speaker 1 Let's keep him out there. Yeah, this is a tough one for me because

Speaker 1 I still want to work in baseball ongoing, so I can't bury my former employer on this one. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I will say that we had a conversation at the beginning of the year.

Speaker 1 Davey Johnson was the manager and I said, why are we going to start Strauss opening day if we have this innings limits? Why wouldn't we start him in May so we can get him through October? Right.

Speaker 1 And I mean, we're coming off 200 lost seasons, a 500 season, and then that season. And he looked at me and says, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm like, fuck. Yeah.
All right.

Speaker 1 And that was about all I had to say about it. But I mean, I feel like looking back, I wish I would have said more.
I don't think it would have matter. No, but I don't give a fuck what I say.

Speaker 1 But are the guys in the clubhouse like me? Like, do they get frustrated? I mean, I'm sure Strauss was frustrated, too. I think we were all frustrated, especially since we lost.

Speaker 1 But I mean, Strauss was healthy. I don't know.
Could he have pitched out of the pen? Could he came in and closed games?

Speaker 1 Did he want to? Was he like, I want to be in there? I don't know. I mean, he had having being injured and not, you know, getting to the point where you've made money is really tough in that game.

Speaker 1 Right. So you got to look out for yourself,

Speaker 1 unfortunately, but at the same time,

Speaker 1 you got to be there for your guys.

Speaker 1 Strauss was young. The team was

Speaker 1 in its infancy. I mean, it turned out he got paid and they won a World Series.
So I think it all worked out. Would I like to see him

Speaker 1 continue to pitch or even start the season later? Yeah. So we would have had him, of course.
But

Speaker 1 I don't know. We still had a chance.
We were up six runs. I mean, in that game five, I mean, we should have closed that out.
I mean, it's just another one of those weird things when I was there.

Speaker 1 You felt snake bit, really.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I mean, it does, that's a good point that you made, which is like, if we have him on this innings limit or this pitches limit, whatever the case was, why don't we just start the clock later?

Speaker 3 And the fact that he's like, well, we'll cross that bridge when we get there, that's pretty much saying, yeah, we're just, we're not going to do that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, just go

Speaker 1 back, go out into right field and

Speaker 1 third or second or whatever.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's the same amount of innings. It would make sense to just push it back a little bit.

Speaker 3 Switching over to the outfield,

Speaker 3 do you remember the first time that you lost a ball in the lights or just lost in the clouds? Because that feels like it must be the most helpless feeling.

Speaker 1 It's the worst. Yeah, and I, like, for whatever reason, I wasn't good at it.

Speaker 1 Sunballs too.

Speaker 1 First one? I don't know. There's a good one at...

Speaker 1 You can still find it, I think. It was a Twilight Ball.
So, like, for like three minutes every night, sometimes

Speaker 1 the sky goes purple. And if the ball goes up, you got no shot.
And it was kind of later in my career, and we were all, you know, we all talked about it.

Speaker 1 The worst is when you see an outfielder go back, and he's throwing his hands up, and like, I can't see it, I can't see it. And everyone's just running because they know he can't see it, you know.

Speaker 1 So, I'm like, why? Well, just act like you have it.

Speaker 1 You know, you know, the center field, you know, I don't see it. Like, get, get over here.
Yeah, right. So, um,

Speaker 1 Andre Ether was hitting for the Dodgers, and uh, my buddy Chase Utley was on second. And we were kind of like later or

Speaker 1 later in our career. And Andre either hits a ball up, and I like, I go back and like camp underneath it like I, like, I definitely got it.
And I, I don't see it until I see it go over my head.

Speaker 1 But, you know, I was, I was already at the spot.

Speaker 1 And then I like act like I catch it, and I look at Chase at second base, and he looks at me. He's like, like, you can see him be like, what the fuck? And like,

Speaker 1 he's like laughing around third. I'm laughing.
Like, it was hilarious. Like, I, you know, I text him every game.
I was like, I fucking got you.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 that was, there's the GIF actually, or the, yeah, you can see the ball goes right over my, you know, and they did the thing where it was like the circle for the like MLB of the show. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like, you know, when your controller stops working. Yeah.
You know, like,

Speaker 1 I don't know. It was pretty funny, but it is.
It sucks. My buddy, Sean Kelly.
He tells everybody that I'm the worst outfielder of all time because it was like, it was two times in

Speaker 1 Milwaukee. Now, Now, Milwaukee has the weird, the weird glare.
Sometimes on day games, like the afternoon game, it gets kind of weird in the fall.

Speaker 1 And there was two balls that went out there I never saw. Like, one almost hit me.
I was like, I was trying to just catch the sun and it, like, went right here. I mean, you're fucked.

Speaker 1 It's not, it's not a good feeling. It's not where you want to be.

Speaker 1 But I just always felt like the guys that are running around acting like idiots and like they don't, you know, they don't see the fuck giving it away. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm like, just stand there and act like you got it. Yeah.
You know, but I don't know.

Speaker 1 Neither way works. Awesome.
I got a horse racing question for you. Who's your goat horse race? And this is a very important question because we have one as a podcast.
What do you mean?

Speaker 3 Who's your goat? Your goat horse. The best horse.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's easy.

Speaker 1 Dornock. Oh, okay.
All right. You can name it your own.
We think Secretariat was roided up, and Flightline is my personal goat. So I was at that.
So I just got into horse racing. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I haven't really. I'm like, this is year three of horse racing for me.
I was at that Flightline race. And at the time.
The Breeders? Yeah. Yeah, I was there too.

Speaker 1 I felt like I was watching Muhammad Ali Ali in Prime. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was the coolest. I've seen some cool shit.
And I put that up there.

Speaker 1 It's number two now after Dornick's winning the Belmont. That's like, I put the World Series, the parade, and then the Belmont win as my top three.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 That's got to be awesome. Did you find that horse racing people have welcomed you with open arms, or is it still, is it like a club that you're trying to get into?

Speaker 1 I don't know. We'll see.
I mean, I think winning the Belmont

Speaker 1 was kind of like my entry in.

Speaker 3 You can't say anything to you now, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so I know one thing, Saratoga, doing that at Saratoga was really cool. Awesome.

Speaker 1 And then, so, like, the next day we went back on Sunday to like get some souvenirs and shit and just run by the tracks, say hi to a couple people. And I felt like the mayor of Saratoga or something.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Saratoga, I've said it before. People are so great.
For people who don't know, Saratoga and Keeneland are the Fenway and Wrigley of horse race. Correct, yeah.

Speaker 1 Like that, they are the special, special places when you walk in. You feel like back in time.
Right, exactly. It's like very old-timey, and it feels feels that way.
That's a good analogy. Yeah, so

Speaker 1 I mean, that's crazy that you won the Belmont three years in. My first coal I bought.
It's nuts. Like, that doesn't happen in horse racing.
No, it doesn't happen, period. Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 So, are you like, are you all in? Are you like, this is because it, because it's very cool if you, if you have the money and

Speaker 1 you can get some success, it's got to be one of the coolest things to be able to buy horses and win big-time races. Yeah, it's addicting.

Speaker 1 But look, I tell people that running a Tuesday 16 claimer at Tampa Bay Downs is exciting.

Speaker 1 It's not as exciting, but it's like winning a big game.

Speaker 1 Winning the Belmont was like winning the World Series. That's kind of the emotions that you feel.
I think horse racing is cool for athletes in general, even regardless of what level you played.

Speaker 1 Because if you own the horse,

Speaker 1 I think when you bet on the horse compared to when you own the horse are two different things.

Speaker 1 You're like dealing with a family member that's playing.

Speaker 1 But I say that when they come out of the gate, I get the emotions of when I had when I was playing.

Speaker 1 And you can't replicate those.

Speaker 1 You can't play

Speaker 1 anything really, golf or whatever,

Speaker 1 pick up basketball, whatever it is. I mean, you can't do anything anymore after you're done playing a sport that gives you those emotions.
And then all of a sudden I start getting into horse racing.

Speaker 1 I'm like, damn, like I'm back on the field. Right.
And you win. You're like, fuck yeah, whoo! It's uh, it's it's for I think for athletes, it's an amazing sport.

Speaker 3 How'd you get into it in the first place? Like, was there somebody that you had that was a friend that owned a horse and was like, Hey, I think you'd enjoy this?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was playing golf with some guys. Um, I just kind of started playing golf too.
And um, that's not fair that you're that good. I played a lot as a kid, sorry.

Speaker 1 You started still, I started again.

Speaker 3 Wait, how good are you?

Speaker 1 I mean, he was like plus eight or plus ten on what did you shoot? I got ten points at uh yeah, American Century, but I played pretty damn good. That's really good.
I'm a 5.6 handicap. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Did you see what A-Rod shot? He was awful. I saw him on the range.
I didn't need to see what he shot.

Speaker 3 So they cap your strokes per hole, right? Yeah,

Speaker 1 you can only get a double point.

Speaker 3 I think he maxed every hole.

Speaker 1 His first round, he did.

Speaker 1 His swing would lead you to believe that that's true. Yeah.
Yeah. But yeah, that's not fair.
He's such a great athlete. He's such a bad golfer.

Speaker 1 It's so funny because you don't, when you see athletes, like professional athletes golfing, you're like, this is not fair.

Speaker 1 And then you remind yourself, like, oh, yeah, they just move different than everyone else. So, of course, they can be good at golf.
Yeah. You guys just move differently.

Speaker 1 I think there's exceptions, but yeah. But I mean, it's for the most part, like, you see them and you're like, yeah, of course they are.

Speaker 1 And I can understand if Alex just started playing golf because when I started first started, again, I was really bad. Because the baseball swing and the golf swing are two totally different things.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Is there a sport that you really stink at?

Speaker 1 I don't really play many sports.

Speaker 1 So the answer is you probably are awesome at all of them.

Speaker 3 Every sport that you've played.

Speaker 1 All-state basketball.

Speaker 3 Won the Belmont.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so far, so good. Yeah.

Speaker 3 The all-star.

Speaker 1 Seems like you're pretty damn good at all of them.

Speaker 1 I wasn't really good at long-distance running.

Speaker 1 That's not a sport. I really suck.
I really suck at long-distance running.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's not a sport. That's a great thing to suck at.

Speaker 3 That actually means that you're smart. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It means that your body knows to concern you. Why would you do that anyways? Yeah, it's a shitty sport.
Exactly. So the other thing is you're into is you're a farmer and you farm regular crops, right?

Speaker 1 And also marijuana. Like that's how did you get into that? We haven't actually started farming marijuana.
We're in the process.

Speaker 1 We have a license too and we're building the concept.

Speaker 1 But yeah, I got into ag

Speaker 1 kind of in 09. It was more of a place just to get away from everybody after the season and

Speaker 1 do some deer hunting. And then it turned into this.

Speaker 1 It was about the same time I started kind of taking real good care of myself, like eating organically,

Speaker 1 you know, just doing everything I could to be the best athlete. And I didn't want them, you know, I didn't want them spraying all that shit on my land.
And

Speaker 1 I wanted to eat the, you know, process the deer that we killed. And

Speaker 1 I just wanted them eating good stuff too. So it turned into this organic farming project,

Speaker 1 which is cool. It turns out I like agriculture.
And we applied for a craft grow marijuana license a few years back and we got it. We're kind of building that all out.
Yeah, that's awesome.

Speaker 3 It's really really cool. Yeah, so do you actually get out in the fields, and do you, do you, like, get on the machinery sometimes and you get hands-on with it?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm more into like the planning side of it. Uh, I've got a farmer that actually farms, but uh, I've done some

Speaker 1 I've done some harvesting and kind of get out there and move some big machinery around. I like, you know, I like driving stuff like that.
So I've done it a little bit, but I mean, that's

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 That's a whole different animal.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I've been saying for the last four years that weed has gotten too potent in America. It's gotten too strong.
And we need to bring back just good quality normal weed, regular weed. Mids.

Speaker 3 Like mids. Weed that you can get.

Speaker 1 Like ditch weed?

Speaker 3 No, not like bad, not like weed that'll give you a hangover.

Speaker 3 This is the battle that I fight against people sometimes. I'm like, let's just smoke normal weed.
And they're like, wait, you want to smoke shake?

Speaker 3 No, I want to smoke something that I can enjoy and then go out and function and go about my day.

Speaker 3 But a lot of the weed nowadays, it's like you hit it, then at least for me, I have to just sit down on a couch and watch a show that I'm going to forget and you have a low tolerance.

Speaker 3 I might have a low tolerance, but I think America needs to bring back mids. Think about it.

Speaker 1 I think just making like average regular weeds. Just one strain of average weeds.
It's an interesting concept.

Speaker 1 Our business plan is actually built on the opposite. We're going for the super high-end.

Speaker 3 Super high-potency. Super potency.
You should just have one plant that's just

Speaker 3 says normal pot.

Speaker 1 Yeah, just put like one, literally, just put one plant outside. I think you could probably do this yourself.

Speaker 3 Now that you're talking about it, I probably could.

Speaker 1 You can put it on on your rooftop. They allow you

Speaker 1 like three plants in Illinois, right? Yeah. Do they really? Thanks.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Fuck it.

Speaker 1 I'm going to grow my own weed. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I'm going to show you. I'm going to show everybody.
Yeah. And I'm going to sell it for, since it's only one plant, I can charge just an enormous.

Speaker 1 Oh, that would be illegal. Yeah.

Speaker 3 You're right. I'm not going to, definitely not going to be doing that.
We're going to smoke it. And we're going to smoke it.
Yeah. Have a hell of a time.

Speaker 1 All right. Let me know if it gets popularity.
Maybe

Speaker 1 we'll change our business plan up.

Speaker 3 Yeah. I'll sell you my seeds.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Max, I'm sure you have a couple questions.
Max is a diehard Phillies fan, baseball player. I don't know if you saw some of his swings last night.
He was the Matt Stairs of the CAA.

Speaker 1 I was following around last night.

Speaker 1 You guys are idiots. Yeah.
I mean, you're way too old to be going out there trying to hit 700 home runs. Well, those, Max is a little bit younger.

Speaker 1 I'm an idiot. When I looked at the, we're talking obviously about the Jerry After Dark.
We did the Barry Bonds record.

Speaker 1 I looked at the, halfway through, I looked at the leaderboard, and it was the bottom four guys were all 37-plus. And I was like, this might be the moment that we got to just stop.

Speaker 1 But Max was a beast, and Max is still in his prime. So, Max, baseball guy to baseball guy, you got questions about the Phills, the World Series champion, Phills?

Speaker 4 I have one question, and it's not about the World Series team. It's about the 07 team and the Mets collapse.

Speaker 1 Let's talk about it.

Speaker 4 What exactly was going on in the clubhouse during September? Like,

Speaker 4 you guys were so far back, and the Mets had such a big lead, and like each day, the Mets kept losing, the Phillies kept winning.

Speaker 1 Like, what was going on in the clubhouse?

Speaker 4 Did you actually think that you had a shot to the camera?

Speaker 1 I tell you what,

Speaker 1 I think we thought that there was no way in hell we weren't catching them. Like, the mentality of that team, and

Speaker 1 that's what set that run off because we knew we were so far back. We were seven down with 17 to play.

Speaker 1 Crazy, that's nuts. Crazy.
Yeah. So we sweeped the Mets.

Speaker 1 And I had a big game. I think that might have been been 08.

Speaker 1 We did the same thing in 08. We were down seven.
You were down seven with 20 to play. You can't even remember your favorite Mets collapse.

Speaker 1 There are like five

Speaker 1 of them.

Speaker 1 They come together, but

Speaker 1 I stole second.

Speaker 1 Tie game. I like walked off Billy Wagner, and then I stole second.
We were down a run. I stole second and third.
And then

Speaker 1 Takuchi, Takuchi. I played for the White Sox.
So Takuchi? No, so I was on 08. This was 07, though.
So this was 07. This was the one.
So it's still second, third.

Speaker 1 He hits a double and ties the game, and Chase comes up and gets a base hit to win it, to walk him off in a four-game series. And that was the moment where it was like, we can't be stopped.
And

Speaker 1 we come down. So this is called the

Speaker 1 last day of the season. Second to last day of the season.

Speaker 1 I guess it was the second day. God damn, they all run together now.

Speaker 1 We come out of the tunnel, walking down the tunnel

Speaker 1 to run your pregame sprints or whatever, and it's like, it's fucking loud out there. And by the time we got in the dugout, it's like, it like cranks it up like, you know, it's like full throttle.

Speaker 1 And we look, and it's 7-0 Marlins against the Mets.

Speaker 1 And they like started at like, you know, 105. We're like the 135 game.
So it was like 7-0 to start the game. And like, we, like, the place, Philly is so fucking cool in this regard.

Speaker 1 It was going ape shit. I mean, everyone was going nuts.
And the game was, you know, we're still 20 minutes till the game. Yeah.
And it was like, we're like, we ain't losing.

Speaker 1 And then, so we win that game.

Speaker 1 I think it ended on like a kind of a crazy double play still, but that would have made us tied for the set.

Speaker 1 If we would have lost, we'd have been tied going to the last game of season, but then we were up.

Speaker 1 And then the next day, Charlie told me I wasn't playing, so I was like sitting in there. I had my shoes off, had my spikes off.

Speaker 1 And then Jimmy comes in and says, hey,

Speaker 1 you're up. It's like the ninth inning or something like that.
I'm like, I'm up.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 all right. So I throw my shoes on.
I got 19 stolen bases on the year and like 24 home runs. So I'm like, fuck, I got a chance to go 20-20.
And

Speaker 1 I get a...

Speaker 1 I get a base hit or I walk or somehow I ended up on first base and I steal second base, you know, dead cold.

Speaker 1 Like, probably could have like tore a hamstring or something, but I went 20-20 that year and like, I wanted to rip the base out of the ground. Hold it up for

Speaker 1 me. I didn't because it was only 20 bases.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 that was a, you know, that was kind of the start of the Mets kind of, in my mind, being the Mets.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Then we did it again the next year, then won the World Series.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it was awesome. I just like, I was 12 years old during the 07 run.
I think that was the first time

Speaker 3 that we made the playoffs that I could really remember.

Speaker 4 And then that just set up the Phillies to be such a good

Speaker 1 franchise for a little while. Yeah, we sell out every night.
Oh, yeah. It's like what it is now.

Speaker 1 You watch the Philly games now.

Speaker 1 The place is going bananas. Thanks.
They're loving it.

Speaker 3 What's the hardest place to play? Is it in Philly?

Speaker 1 For me, it was the old Marlin Stadium. It was anything in Miami was hard, I guess.
I don't know. I didn't play very good down there.
The Giants.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and what was the other?

Speaker 1 Volstad.

Speaker 1 Volstad, he was there too. I wasn't very good off him either.

Speaker 1 I think he would pitch the next day after I was all fucked up, and then he would be like, he was like 6'10. I didn't get any hits off him either.

Speaker 1 What's the hardest visuals, whether it be batting or in the outfield in MLB?

Speaker 1 I'll tell you, the good ones are the ones where they have the flat background that's close to the fence, like Milwaukee, Arizona, Philly. Philly's really good.

Speaker 1 The tough ones are the ones like Boston, where it kind of goes back or they put fans out there. The old Miami Stadium where it would go back for like a long ways.

Speaker 1 I think that's why I didn't play good. I didn't see very good.
But,

Speaker 1 you know, San Franz kind of, you know, Batter's Eye sits way far back. Yeah.

Speaker 1 LA is a good place to hit. Yeah, it's funny because you don't even think about it like that matters a lot, I would assume.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 A lot. Being able to see is it's crucial.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Didn't they change that rule because of the Cubs? Not having fans that are just in center

Speaker 1 Yeah, some

Speaker 3 they used to wear like white shirts

Speaker 3 when the opposing team was bat and then change into black shirts when they guys were up brutal.

Speaker 1 Some guys, it doesn't bother. It bother me a lot.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 What about just velocity in general for pitchers? Because we're seeing, I think in the all-star game, we had this one guy get in from the A's last night.

Speaker 3 He threw a bunch of pitches that were above like 102 miles an hour. Yeah, he's topped out at 103.6, I believe.

Speaker 1 Definitely makes it harder.

Speaker 3 We've seen a lot of, like, the velocity has been increasing a lot in the last couple of years.

Speaker 3 Did you you notice in your time span when you started playing to the end that pitchers are getting faster?

Speaker 1 Oh, big time.

Speaker 1 I mean, when I came up, if guys were still throwing like 80, 89 sinker sliders, you know, like

Speaker 1 there was none of that left by the time I got out of there. My last year when I came off the DL, I like put one of those flaps on my helmet just as a mockery to how hard everybody was throwing.

Speaker 1 But I made the joke the other day. It was like, you know, I played in like the golden era of baseball.
It's like when it was still pure and like, you know, what it was for the last hundred years.

Speaker 1 And then, you know, now it's like everyone's throwing 100 and wearing oven mitts. It's turned into this

Speaker 1 totally different

Speaker 1 phenomenon of the sport. You know, no one hits for average.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you're either striking out or hitting a home run.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1 The game cycles through these things, and the game is still the game.

Speaker 1 I did a broadcast the other night for the Nats, and

Speaker 1 I still love the sport.

Speaker 1 I think it's great. It's just changed.
Yeah. Rules have changed.

Speaker 1 Does it benefit guys? Like, I know Kyle Hendricks is on the tail end of his career, but he was always a guy who was like, he wasn't throwing more than 91, 92. And he was kind of...

Speaker 1 It fell a lot harder, though. Yeah, like, so does it benefit guys like that who have something a little different than just throwing a hundred and one down the middle? Yeah, I mean, it can.

Speaker 1 I don't know. So, you know, that's why you always kind of s switch up your your your pitching rotation so it's not the same guy every night.
Right. But I don't know.

Speaker 1 velocity was, especially these kids now, though, they're used to it. That's like that's all they see.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, we didn't ever see that, and then all of a sudden, one guy would come out of the pin throwing 100. You're like, oh, shit, this guy's, you know.

Speaker 1 So it's just different.

Speaker 1 But it is weird that

Speaker 1 batting averages have plummeted

Speaker 1 with the velocity.

Speaker 3 It's like the thing that makes the game fun to watch is actually statistically not proven over the long run to make for the best batters. So like, home runs and strikeouts, not that fun to watch.

Speaker 3 People getting on base, the excitement, the drama, that is fun to watch.

Speaker 3 But the nerds upstairs, they're like, well, if we model this out over the course of a full season, it's not always the best for us. So,

Speaker 3 yeah, the twirly birds.

Speaker 3 So, baseball has caught in this weird place where it's like,

Speaker 3 do we want an entertaining product or do we want to win baseball games? We don't know if this actually proves out to win baseball games over the long run.

Speaker 3 So, it's kind of frustrating as a fan, someone who used to watch a ton of baseball.

Speaker 1 Right, I agree. I feel like we're losing fans.
Yeah. By the way, I looked it up.
You were actually worse against Chris Volstadt. I thought so.

Speaker 1 Yeah, three for 33, and you were six for 33 against Annabelle Sanchez. Yeah.
Equally as awful. Yeah.
So, and I'm looking at it right now. You were awesome against R.A.
Dickey.

Speaker 1 You just could hit a knuckleball? Yeah, I hit a homer off Wakefield in Boston and I was with LA and 04 my rookie year. Yeah.
And we played a lot of backyard knuckleball, wiffle ball when we were kids.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So I just equate it to kind of going back to that.
But yeah,

Speaker 1 I killed R.A. Dickey.
Yeah, you hit 400 against him. So you just could use

Speaker 1 a

Speaker 1 two home runs against R.A. Dickie.
Oh, is that all? I thought there was more. But still, I mean, 406.

Speaker 1 He would throw me fastballs. Really? Yeah, you got tired of me hitting the fastball.

Speaker 3 How intimidating of a pitcher was Dan Herron? And he's a close friend of ours.

Speaker 1 So feel free to

Speaker 3 say how great he was.

Speaker 1 Dan was nasty. I played with Dan in Washington, too, so I got to know him.
He's like the best guy. He's like the driest, most sarcastic.
He's the best. He's the funniest dude.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 He used to have diarrhea every day he'd pitch.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Chug Pepto-Bismal.

Speaker 1 He said that he would.

Speaker 1 When his last year, when he was with the Cubs, he was like, I contemplated retiring every time the wind was blowing.

Speaker 1 That's the type of guy he was.

Speaker 1 I remember facing him when he was in Arizona.

Speaker 1 He looked like he was really mean and you were kind of like, you know, he's a bulldog out there, and his stuff was really nasty. But then I played with him and realized he's just a really nice guy.

Speaker 3 Nicest dude ever, yeah.

Speaker 1 Nicest dude, yeah. Yeah.
Who were you the best against? I'm looking it up right now. Do you know?

Speaker 1 The best that was like good. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I had some good games against Clayton Kershaw. Yeah.
You also. I hit lefty's great.
You tuned up Tim Hudson. Yeah.
All the Bros Braves guys. Yeah.
D'Lo. Hit good off him.

Speaker 1 Like, I played good against the Braves

Speaker 1 and the Mets. Yeah.
Played them a lot. Yeah, you hit 386 against Tim Hudson with four home runs.
Yeah, I remember one time on the bus,

Speaker 1 Rick Ankill was on my team, and he was like, hey,

Speaker 1 Tim Hudson just texted me and told me to tell you to fuck off.

Speaker 1 There you go. It feels good going both ways.
Sanchez and then that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 How...

Speaker 1 This is a dumb question. Just how sick is it to hit a home run?

Speaker 1 Oh, it's sick. It's like, yeah, it's sick.
So it's the best. I mean, you guys hit a ton of them last night, so it probably like

Speaker 1 you're so tired, you probably hated it.

Speaker 1 No, it's especially a big one with the

Speaker 1 on the road, you know, in a big game when the place is packed, and then like you hit it, you hit it, and you can hear a fucking pin drop.

Speaker 1 Oh, I'm sure when they do the slow clap, then you hit a home run, that's got to be the best feeling in the world. And just goes dead silent.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then everybody's like, fuck, and they're all leaving. Yeah.
And that's a, that's, that's a pretty good feeling. Yeah.

Speaker 3 It also must rock to just know that you don't have to run the bases like you can just trot take your time i like to run the bases though

Speaker 1 i think that's part of the the game that we're missing out on right now no one knows how to run the bases yeah you know the whole this whole stealing stolen base rules kind of you know

Speaker 1 messing up the you know the numbers on the stolen bases and then guys are making a ton of outs on the bases yeah and it's like a when i would coach my kid that summer i coached my kid i was like

Speaker 1 what who's teaching you guys what are you guys i mean it's it's like a lost art yeah it really is is. I agree with that.

Speaker 3 Do they have the giant sliding mitt?

Speaker 1 Yeah, and they got all these skits. You know, you got kids, 12-year-old kids wearing the oven mitt.
Like,

Speaker 1 why? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Just wear a bigger mitt, get like four extra inches. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just flop it out there and be like, I stole.

Speaker 3 Just touch second. I mean, I played a long time.

Speaker 1 I never had any problem sliding into bases with my hands. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Did you ever have a rivalry against a pitcher that did you ever charge the mound?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 I wouldn't put myself in that situation. Because I saw it.
One on six with a with a guy behind you. It's not a really, I guess one on five with a guy behind you is not a great place to be.

Speaker 1 Knocked odds.

Speaker 3 Because I did see a video, I think it was you and Jose Fernandez, where you stared him down.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he would hit me a lot.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you guys locked eyes, and neither one of you would look away. But then by the time you got to third base, I think things were all good.

Speaker 1 Well, he punched me out that game, and then he was like, he's running his mouth at me when I had my head down, and he punched me out, and he stared me down, and I didn't see it.

Speaker 1 So the next bat, he hits me, and I'm like, what the fuck? You got something to say? Like I was ready to fight then.

Speaker 1 But he was just a kid. You know, I was like,

Speaker 1 12 years older or something like that. Yeah.
So I was just like, what, why? You know, I got, I got to second base and Dee Gordon was at second base. I was like, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 What's his problem? Yeah. Like, I don't even know him.
Like, you know, and I knew Dee when he was a kid. I played with his dad, Flash, in Philly.
And Dee's like, I don't know, man.

Speaker 1 What'd you do to him? I was like, I don't fucking do anything to him. And I got to third, and he was like looking over me.
He's all smiley, you know, and I'm like,

Speaker 1 what are you looking at me like that for? He's like, you were looking at me. I was like, whatever.

Speaker 1 So I don't know. That was,

Speaker 1 didn't really have too many issues on the field. We got into

Speaker 1 a lot of fights in the Mayor Leagues. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But nothing too bad in the big leagues. I was there for the Bryce Harper fight in San Fran when he throws his helmet sideways.
Yeah. And it's always,

Speaker 1 that's a funny one.

Speaker 3 It was interesting because he threw his helmet.

Speaker 3 It was like 50 cents first pitch. That's how bad the helmet tossed.

Speaker 1 It's hilarious.

Speaker 3 But then his flow was so good after he took his helmet off. I thought he just took his helmet off to show off his hair.

Speaker 1 So you had Bryce throwing his helmet sideways with his hair. You had Samarja and Mike Morse coming right in between the two of them, and they literally made out.

Speaker 1 Mikey never played again. Like he had like concussion.
Samarja never played again. Like ended both of their careers.

Speaker 1 And I was coming in there and I had my hair. It was like the Hair Olympic.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 that was a good one. It wasn't, it didn't end up being too bad.

Speaker 1 We had a little mix up with the Pirates one time that got a little testy, but for the most part, you know, there's only been a few really bad fights. Yeah.
Most of them are just.

Speaker 1 They just get everyone chest bumps. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, you try.
Yeah, yeah. You start with eight.
All right, so I have one last question. This has been awesome.
We appreciate you coming on.

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Speaker 1 You did something that I wish more professional athletes do and did.

Speaker 1 It's the coolest thing you can do. I don't know why more guys don't do it.
You retired and then you played like rec league baseball. One time.

Speaker 1 And just fucking, but okay, so even that one time, the bomb you hit

Speaker 1 so goddamn awesome.

Speaker 1 First of all, how sick was that because like that's i honestly i don't know why like if you are a professional athlete can't win but especially like with the amount of shit talking that happens on social media these days if i were a sick professional athlete the minute i retired i would go play intramurals and just kick the shit out of everyone and be like there's levels bro all right so so

Speaker 1 Full disclosure, a good buddy of mine became a good buddy of mine, Matt Micah,

Speaker 1 was involved in the congressional baseball team shooting in D.C. when Steve Scalise got shot.
He was there. He got shot twice.
I went to go see him in the hospital after that whole thing.

Speaker 1 And that's where I met Matt. And, you know, he was about dead when I met him.
And I was like, hey, man,

Speaker 1 take care of yourself. He played baseball in college.
I was like, we'll bring you out to the brought him out to the Nats Park.

Speaker 1 And then the next year, he took a little batting practice, but he still, I mean, he got shot in the hand. So it was weird.

Speaker 1 So years later,

Speaker 1 I'm playing with Seattle Seattle in the Marleys, my last year. Pull my hamstring and

Speaker 1 I quit. I just like, that's a, I'm done.
I retire. And I come home and Matt calls me.
He's like, hey, man, I'm getting back on the field next week for the first time. Will you come play with me?

Speaker 1 And I'm like, fuck all.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, I have to. So I'm like, sure.
So I go, and it's just like,

Speaker 1 you know, it's probably the worst field that I've ever played on. You know, it's just a wrecked field or whatever.
I ground out. First of all, I'm tuned up for like 95 plus.
I'm just retired. Right.

Speaker 1 These guys are throwing like 78. Yeah.
So I like ground out the short, bugs bunny, like one, two, three strikes, you're out, you know, like swing three times at a ball, strike out my second about.

Speaker 1 And then these fucking guys are like mouthing me. You know, like, oh, I don't know who this guy is.
You know, I'm in DC. Yeah.
You know, like, there's, so they're like talking shit.

Speaker 1 And the guy goes 3-0 on me. And then the catcher's like, whatever.
And it was like one of those times where, like, the hair

Speaker 1 stands up on the back of your neck. And I got like fucking mad.
Yeah. And then I hit a ball over the moon and I came in, you know, and that was my last trip around the bases.
Ever. Really? Ever.

Speaker 1 I'll never play that game. That's awesome.
Ever again. And I told him I came in.
I said, that's it, boys. I'm going home.
And I walked in my car with my full uni off.

Speaker 1 Spikes on, got in, and left. So you proved your point, though.
Like, that was a moment where everyone's like clowning you.

Speaker 1 And you're like, no, dude, I can, you don't understand the difference between me and you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So that was, you know, and it goes around social media like quarterly, and people send it to me like, are you playing rec league? Yeah. That was like 20, that was 2018, so it's been a while.

Speaker 1 You wouldn't do it for softball? I don't think.

Speaker 1 Just fucking messing up. No, I would not play softball.
Absolutely not.

Speaker 1 If you would have called me and said, hey,

Speaker 1 we need you to come in and get us home last night. Yeah.
I mean, I maybe would have slammed a six-pack on the way over there

Speaker 1 and came in hot, but it would have to be for a good cause. I don't think I'd lace him up and go run around the outfield or anything like that.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 For a good cause could just be to feel good one day. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just show up to just get to dominate someone.

Speaker 1 I'm not there mentally right now. Okay.

Speaker 1 Well, we

Speaker 1 might need you on a barstool softball team. Because that's also my dream is just doing a barstool softball team and then just like one week just showing up with like five ex-MLB guys.

Speaker 3 You ever see that episode of The Simpsons? Homer at the bat? Yeah. They get the entire team of just MLB players.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 That's what we're going to do when we face off against like bleacher reports.

Speaker 1 We can just buy some horses too and go get fired up about it. No, I want to see you hit tanks.
Do you want to see tanks? Yeah. I get it.

Speaker 1 I'll consider it. Do you have any more horses? Yeah, I got a few.

Speaker 3 Any good ones that are like

Speaker 1 the same level as Jordan? Yeah, yeah. So I own this horse named Drip.
And Drip was supposed to be the favorite in the Tampa Bay Derby. Tampa Bay Derby is when and you're in the derby.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And he scratched that week.

Speaker 1 But he ran the fifth fastest time of the year on his first race. And

Speaker 1 we think he's really talented. He's with Witt Beckman, the trainer, and his workmate was Honor Marie.
And he was outworking Honor Marie by like a length every time. He was kicking his ass.
Wow.

Speaker 1 And we joke that Dripp made Honor Marie because Honor Marie got in the

Speaker 1 Derby, ran like eighth, and then ran fourth into Belmont. Nice horse.
But it's not real big, and Drip towers over it. He's a good magic sire, same as Dorick.
And I think

Speaker 1 he'll run. We're kind of pointing him to the big races next year.
I don't know. I've got this crazy dream.
Maybe he runs in the Dubai Cup or the Saudi Saudi Derby or something. Or the Breeders, yeah.

Speaker 1 And then the Breeders at the end of the year. So

Speaker 1 he would be the only other horse that I have that's really good.

Speaker 3 Nice Drip. It's a great name.

Speaker 3 Do you have any input into the names of the horses?

Speaker 1 I did on that one, actually, but I do on some of them.

Speaker 1 Dornick is a cool story. I was actually in Scotland

Speaker 1 playing Royal Dornick, the golf course, with with Utley and and I came home the next week I came home I called the the trainer I was like hey how's that horse doing and he's like oh really good I was like did you have you named him yet he's like yeah

Speaker 1 Larry named him

Speaker 1 Dornick or something I'm like like the fucking golf course that's nuts and he's like I think so I was like when I was just there he's like yeah last week so literally while I was playing Royal Dornock with with Chase the guys named the horse Dornick unbeknownst to me being there or anything like that Wow.

Speaker 1 It was meant to be.

Speaker 3 It was meant to be.

Speaker 1 Then he runs 10th in the Derby and wins the Belmont. That's incredible.
Incredible. Incredible.
Well, Jason, thank you so much. We appreciate it.
It was great having you on. Yeah, not for life.

Speaker 1 I finally made it. Yeah.
Finally made it. Yeah, life complete.
You made it before or after you hit that home run off that random dude in the intro. Did you pimp it?

Speaker 3 Did you pimp it? Did you stare him down?

Speaker 1 Not really.

Speaker 1 My best pimp job ever was off Carlos Mormall at Nats Park when he was later in his year because he would always pimp everybody with the Cubs when he was really good.

Speaker 1 And I got him a three-on-one and pimped the fuck out. It was my favorite.
It was my favorite pimp of my career. I didn't pimp much because it wasn't really, that wasn't the thing back then.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, I mean,

Speaker 1 the home run against Sanders, I do watch it like once or twice a year just because it's so fucking awesome because you hit it so far. And it's the rec league one? Yeah.
Yeah, that was a good one.

Speaker 1 That was a good one. All right.
Thanks so much, Jason. All right, guys.

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Speaker 1 and now for something completely different

Speaker 1 okay we now welcome on recurring guest friend of the program now two-time uh major winner it is the open champion uh xander shauffley xander first of all congrats i i mean it's it's nuts that that we're at two now just like that um got some questions about winning it but I wanted to start real quick.

Speaker 1 We watched, obviously, the entire Open Championship. We're bad golfers.
We're regular golf fans. Just how hard was that course, especially with the wind, like in regular golfer terms?

Speaker 1 Like, how bad would we be on that course?

Speaker 7 Really bad.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's what I thought. Yeah, because it seemed miserable at times.

Speaker 7 Saturday was really bad. You know, with a little bit of wind and rain, it was,

Speaker 7 it would have been a good day to watch golf on TV, no doubt. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 It's much more fun, I would imagine, seeing it on TV than being even a spectator at that golf tournament because you're dealing with the rain, the wind, the elements.

Speaker 3 The patrons of Royal Trune have a hard time, just like the golfers.

Speaker 3 Congratulations, like Big Cat said. Very happy for you.
Got to know, your dad said he was going to drink wine out of the claret jug. Did you get to drink something out of the jug before he did?

Speaker 3 Or did he just take it from you? He's like, let's fill this up with a mulback.

Speaker 7 red wine was the first thing poured into it, yeah. And he immediately had to go do media after the ceremony on the green.
And as soon as we got in the car, he basically took the trophy off me.

Speaker 1 Uh,

Speaker 7 and then they're like, you know, you should probably give it back to your kids

Speaker 1 for the rest of the media run.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, I mean, but it mean it was his first major because he obviously wasn't there for when you won your first.

Speaker 1 So, um, how, like, what was it like having him there? First of all, when we saw him, you didn't do him justice. He is a hoss.

Speaker 1 And I mean that in the best way possible, like an intimidating guy, had the hat on, was drinking out of a flask. But what was it like?

Speaker 1 What was it like after the round and just like getting to actually celebrate it with him for the first time?

Speaker 7 It was awesome. You know,

Speaker 7 when I called him after Valhalla, how he looked on TV was exactly how he sounded on the phone after Valhalla. So if you want to just put those two together,

Speaker 7 he is an ugly crier, no doubt.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 it was, it was, it was awesome, though.

Speaker 7 You know, to have my whole family there,

Speaker 7 you know, my uncle's my agent, my wife was there, just the people that have been with me for such a long time. And, you know, my dad is European and this is,

Speaker 7 he is an American citizen now, but, you know, this is like the one he really wanted. And, you know, I'm not picky, but for me to deliver this one to him in person is probably the coolest thing.

Speaker 7 And I don't know if I can top that. You know, the gold medal was up there, there, but this is, you know, right there with it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I mean, it was, it was, it was an awesome Sunday to watch.
You were so locked in. Did you, at what hole,

Speaker 1 maybe it was in the back nine, maybe it was in the front nine, but I feel like it was the back nine. But at what hole were you like, I'm, I'm, I'm here, I'm locked in, I'm winning this thing.

Speaker 13 After I birdied 14,

Speaker 7 I was able to, there was a huge board on 15. And 15 is such a hard hole, but it was, you know, like crazy left to right.
And I was like, you can, I've hit that fairway every day.

Speaker 7 And I was like, you just got to hit this fairway one more time, kid. I was like, just hit the fairway, and you're going to have like a wedger 9-iron or 8-iron in.

Speaker 7 And after I hit that fairway, get, you know,

Speaker 7 like a little fist pump inside because I was like, okay, we're dancing. Like, this is, you know, this is my tournament to lose.
Like, only I can mess this one up.

Speaker 7 So, a little bit of added pressure in that moment, but I felt like I really took control after I birdied 14. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Was it, did the, did the thought of like a Vandeveld even enter your mind at any point?

Speaker 3 Because I feel like if I was, if I was winning at the open championship, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from thinking about it.

Speaker 1 I'd just be like, keep your shoes on.

Speaker 7 That's incredible.

Speaker 7 Luckily, there were no burns ripping through the rest of the property. So

Speaker 7 I took a really deep breath after I hit the 17th green. It's a very difficult hole.
After I hit that green, I took a huge, huge breath because I knew, you know, I had at least a two-shot lead.

Speaker 7 I was expecting guys to birdie uh 16 behind me but i knew that i was in a really good spot and you know 18 is

Speaker 7 iron iron you know i hit three iron eight iron you know so it wasn't it's not to have a two or three shot lead going into 18 is a very nice thing to have because yeah it is you know not the most intimidating t-shot with an iron yeah somewhat idiot proof at that point i i feel like in the open the uh the caddies do a lot of great work for the golfers maybe more so than in some other tournaments because you have to know as you're approaching each green like you have to hit you have to land some of your shots 10 yards 15 yards short of the green are they giving you specific spots and like how much time did your caddy spend studying all the hills and all the slopes that are right at the front of that green yeah so you know austin's my boy he's he's been caddying for me since you know my dad cattie caddied for me for a few events and he got canned uh but kais kaiz has been with me for ever since i've been playing and corn ferry uh up up through the tour and he he's incredible uh he he does a really good job and I definitely feel like he gives me that sort of edge or advantage that you were talking about on properties that aren't super known on tour.

Speaker 7 You know, whenever we play US Opens or Opens or PGAs, there's these big championship style golf courses where more information, the better, especially if you haven't played it much.

Speaker 7 And, you know, Kai's, Kai's is, he's good for walking. You know, I mean, he has that little

Speaker 7 Apple Watch or whatever. And, you know, I think last year at the open, he locked like 30,000 steps one day.
So

Speaker 7 the dude is just out there walking, trying to like you said figure out every little mogul every little bounce where it can go can't go all those types of things and uh he's funny you know on 14 it was a really big moment because I was kind of like I might hit five iron and he was like it's a six iron and I was like

Speaker 7 okay it's a six iron balls like this is aggressive he's like just hit it between the bunkers I don't know if you guys remember that part three yeah two coffins like the flagstick and then two coffins in the green and he's like just hit it between the bunkers and and of course i was so locked in i hit it in between the bunkers like a really good iron shot in there like whatever 12 feet and i remember after i hit the shot i looked at it and i was like just hit it in between the bunkers like that

Speaker 1 advice yeah

Speaker 1 yeah advice just hit it at just hold out just hit it

Speaker 1 yeah just hit a good shot that's all you gotta do all right so i'm fascinated obviously golf is so much mental and this year has been incredible for you with two majors and you were going into this year

Speaker 1 one of the guys that was like hey, can he win the big one? Because he's been so good, but he hasn't won a major. So after you win the first one, you're winning the second one.
Was it easier mentally?

Speaker 1 Did you feel like, hey, I've been here. I know it.
The pressure isn't the same as it was during the first one. And does it feel kind of like the top is off now? Like this is the sky's the limit?

Speaker 7 Yeah, I mean, the expectations are going to have to get reeled in here.

Speaker 7 You know, I don't think I would have won this one if I, you know, my head was, you know, through the roof for too long, but that's going to be something I need to to work on just to, you know, set the bar right and then keep moving along like we've always moved along.

Speaker 7 But yeah, I mean,

Speaker 7 totally different feelings for both. I was significantly more nervous at the PGA, just the back and forth, holes playing a little bit easier.
The style of golf was so different.

Speaker 7 And then, you know, everyone was so bunched up. Not that people weren't bunched up at this one, but.
The back nine at this Trune golf course is so freaking hard.

Speaker 1 And if you hit good shots and you make birdies on these holes where no one else is making birdies you will you will gain an advantage and so to me you know i i wouldn't have been as calm at trune if it wasn't for valhalla but i was way more nervous at valhalla than i was at trune so it's it's kind of funny how how the two kind of paired up and how different they were yeah all right so i i got a tip for you because if we're trying to stay humble not go you know go through the roof um have you thought about maybe changing the golf shoes no offense to your golf shoes but the all black shoes are tough because you kind of look like a server like you look like you're gonna pass me some like bacon wrapped scallops.

Speaker 1 Um, so maybe that's maybe we've got to work on that part of our game. That's the next step.

Speaker 7 That's humbling. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, when

Speaker 1 they look like shit, dude, they look like shit. Come on, let's get better.

Speaker 7 I got nothing for you. You know, Adidas is my shoe sponsor.
They wanted me to wear contrasting, contrasting,

Speaker 1 you know, colors. Yeah.
Go white and then black stripes. That's easy.

Speaker 1 Okay. You know, I can do that for you.

Speaker 7 You know what I mean? I just, I figured, you know, I was sitting there and, you know, I was spending such a long time getting ready before I went to the course.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You look slow. Yeah, yeah, right.
You might ask

Speaker 3 my golfers to look like Adam.

Speaker 1 Adidas makes great shoes.

Speaker 7 Dude, I don't give a shit what I look like.

Speaker 1 Well, all right. See, that's, see, that's a problem.
You're, you're, you're through the roof. You're, we've got to humble you.

Speaker 7 I don't have to look at me when I'm playing.

Speaker 1 Okay, well, very true. I'm telling you,

Speaker 7 I do have to look at my shoes.

Speaker 1 Yes. But if you.

Speaker 7 I do feel good. So as long as I feel feel good, and then, you know, the shoes are the shoes.
I wore those black shoes at the freaking PGA won with them. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Had the same complaint. I'm just saying, if we're trying to work on our game, if we're trying to find different ways to get better, PFT said it, like, what white shoes look faster.

Speaker 1 I think maybe go, you know, white with maybe blue stripes because Adidas makes great shoes. Great sponsor.
But we're just trying to get you better.

Speaker 7 You know what?

Speaker 7 Let me show you something. Better and faster are two things I'll definitely take.
So

Speaker 3 maybe, I mean. Let me show you something.
See these? These are black Adidas shoes. I like them.

Speaker 1 I can't see them.

Speaker 1 Hang on, hang on. Hold on, hold on.
He's going to get them. He's flexible.
Wait. Yep.

Speaker 3 I am not an athlete. I look slow as fuck.
And shorts.

Speaker 1 And shorts. They make you look short.

Speaker 3 They make you look short. I'm actually six feet tall, but when I wear these, everyone's like, oh, PFT's 5'8.

Speaker 3 Yeah,

Speaker 7 don't be afraid to let your body hit the sun every once in a while either.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, check that out. That's good.
Listen, I'm not good. See, we can take it back.
You know, better podcasting. I'm really tan, and I've been podcasting my balls off.
There you go. So,

Speaker 3 who is the fastest golfer on tour? You guys ever race?

Speaker 7 Not me. The fastest would probably be,

Speaker 1 oh, gosh, who hits really fast?

Speaker 7 There's a few guys. I mean, I can't think of anyone right now, to be honest, but there's a few guys who just, I mean, Dustin was, he would hit so fast.

Speaker 7 Matt Jones, the two guys that went to live are like the fastest guys I've ever played with. There's a few guys.
I'm trying to think of the guys that are unbelievably fast on our tour now.

Speaker 3 I'm not talking about clubhead speed or ball speed. I mean, like, fast, like, because

Speaker 1 you look slow, he's the fastest runner. We play golf for a living, dude.
We're like camels.

Speaker 1 We're just supposed to just flop around until we get to the finish line. Yeah,

Speaker 1 we're not running up there. I mean, Ricky's fast.

Speaker 3 He looks like his legs can move pretty quickly. Yeah, I think so.

Speaker 7 You know, my catty is a little top-heavy, but he's pretty quick. He's got some quick legs.

Speaker 1 That's a good way to say it, top-heavy. Top heavy.

Speaker 1 Did you have a talk with Scotty after? I know you're friends with him being like, because

Speaker 1 listen, we didn't put an asterisk on your PGA championship, but some people did because Scotty got arrested. So were you like, hey, asterisk off? I did it.
And you didn't even get arrested this time?

Speaker 7 Yeah, actually, thanks for reminding me. I was meant to send a bottle of wine to that police officer.

Speaker 1 I feel good.

Speaker 1 And now the asterisks is off of PGA championship because if you had only won that one, we would have been like, yeah.

Speaker 7 Despite my slowness. Yes.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 7 and bad style, lack of speed, yeah, yep, lack of speed.

Speaker 1 I'm legit now, yes, yes, yes, you got the stamp of approval, you actually can golf, you're a good golfer. God,

Speaker 1 I feel good, yeah.

Speaker 7 This has been this has been really helpful for me, guys.

Speaker 1 Thank you.

Speaker 3 One can be a fluke, anyone can win a major.

Speaker 1 I could win a major if I just played the best golf of my life, especially when Scotty gets arrested. I could have won that.

Speaker 3 This was actually harder for you to beat Scotty because he was naturally driving on the wrong side of the road over there. So he probably felt very comfortable in Scottie.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 3 I want to ask you about your good friend Patrick Cantley. Do you guys just know going into every tournament at some point you'll be right next to each other on the leaderboard?

Speaker 3 It's always going to say at some point, Shoffley, Cantley, and then everyone's going to be like, okay, I used to think you were the same guy.

Speaker 7 Well, he's white. I'm tan.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 7 he could be whiter than you, to be honest.

Speaker 1 There's a chance. Yeah, unlikely.

Speaker 3 But yeah, you guys just always kind of find your way together.

Speaker 7 Yeah, this is actually the first time we were paired together with Tiger Thursday, Friday in quite some time.

Speaker 7 And then we were paired together Saturday and like two or three days in a row, we wore matching sweaters, which was not intentional.

Speaker 7 We got to the practice practice screen.

Speaker 1 We're like, God damn it. I was like, God damn it.

Speaker 7 I mean, why not? We'll just shine together.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, you, you, we'll work on the fashion part. All right.
So I had, I had one

Speaker 7 next time I'm going out to make sure I'm dialed.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we'll get you. We'll get you right.
I had one last question.

Speaker 1 rowback question, R-H-O-B-A-C K.com, promo code take 20% off your first purchase, Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, great polos for the golf. So you're now about to play in the Olympics, right?

Speaker 1 Yep. So how, what, what is Olympic golf compared to like playing in the majors? Like, how do, what's the pressure like?

Speaker 1 Is it wildly different? Like, how do you, how do you approach Olympic golf?

Speaker 7 It's pretty different. I mean, you're, you're essentially on a team, kind of, but it's the same.
I mean, I approach it the same way, to be honest. It's a 72-hole stroke play.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 And there's 60 guys and everyone's playing under the country and everyone wants to win. And only, you know, I think the emphasis on second and third is a lot more than a normal tournament.

Speaker 7 You know, you podium versus if you

Speaker 7 don't do well and you come in second or third, or if you're doing well and then you fail at the end, you feel like a, oh, you know, one of those.

Speaker 7 And I think, you know, in the Olympics, everyone's fighting to finish in the top three more so than any tournament, I'd say.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Have you thought about getting the Olympic rings tattooed on you? That's what all Olympians do.

Speaker 7 Yeah, maybe I'll just do them in all black.

Speaker 1 Just look extra slow. Listen,

Speaker 1 I feel like you, you know, you, you might not like that we came at your shoes, but again, I think that you're going to have a lot of people walking around being like, Xander, you're the best.

Speaker 1 Xander, oh my God, two majors, golfer of the year. Just remember, whenever you want to get humbled, you come back here and we'll find something to nitpick you.

Speaker 7 You guys, I mean, I don't think you guys have ever had a conversation with my dad, so he can humble you pretty quickly.

Speaker 1 Yeah, let's do it. Let's have a humble off.
I'd love to have him off.

Speaker 3 It's really important to have haters.

Speaker 1 Would he try?

Speaker 7 I'm going to think now that you guys are, I'm going to draw you two up as haters right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You know what?

Speaker 7 Bolton board.

Speaker 3 We like you so much that I'll gladly have you hate us. Yeah.
Just because I want to see you succeed.

Speaker 7 I don't really hate anyone, to be honest. I'm not really.

Speaker 7 you know, I'm from San Diego. We're all just go with the chill, like chill vibes.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Yeah.

Speaker 7 Soccer white or whatever color shoe you want to wear. It's not a big deal.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.
We got to get you to hate us. We got to just bolt him board meeting.

Speaker 3 I can do this.

Speaker 3 I'm very confident in my abilities to piss you off.

Speaker 1 I'll let you know if I'll start hating you guys or not.

Speaker 3 I had one last question for you. What is the Shauffley way?

Speaker 7 Is that something my dad said?

Speaker 3 It probably is. It's your training, especially your Olympic training.

Speaker 7 what did he say i don't even know

Speaker 3 all right so i've got i've got a note here i'll read you what the note says because this is what this is what the tour is sending out about you it says that you have learned discipline from your father and his olympic training they call it the shoffley way

Speaker 7 that's what he calls it uh

Speaker 7 you know it's probably you know it's that it's kind of got like some kind of weird ring to it i guess but or maybe the tour coined it that i'm not really sure but the shoffley way is just my dad's half french half german so growing up it was you know, my mom is Taiwanese, grew up in Japan.

Speaker 7 So, you know, we have the Axis, you know what I mean? I'm the allies, my parents are the Axis, you know,

Speaker 7 we're on that side of the world, and discipline is something that

Speaker 7 I grew up with. So, hard work and you know, I always watch my parents, they're super disciplined, they're super hardworking, and

Speaker 7 maybe that's the Shoffley way. I'm not really sure, but it has to be something along those lines of, you know, how they were sort of raised and their, you know,

Speaker 7 countries. Yeah,

Speaker 1 it's like it's all, it's all tattooed in there. I like, I like the Shoffley way.

Speaker 1 I feel like your dad's sitting there watching you win majors and he's like, that's the shuffley way. And you're, and in your head, you're like, I don't even know what the fuck he's talking about.

Speaker 7 This is the shoffly way.

Speaker 3 I love that. Yeah.
Look slower than you are. That way you'll surprise people.
Yeah. Shoffley way.

Speaker 1 Shoffley way.

Speaker 7 Sneaky fast.

Speaker 1 Yeah, deceptively quick. Yeah, you are deceptively quick.
You are slower than people think.

Speaker 1 I like that. Oh, I am.

Speaker 7 To be fair, though, maybe I'll just keep wearing the black and white shoes because I am a slow learner. It takes me how long to win two majors.
You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 But the lid's off now. No, no, they're off.

Speaker 3 Actually, I did have one last thing. So when you win, this time it's a little bit different because you had to wait.

Speaker 3 It wasn't like, you know, you make your putt, tournament over, you're a major champion.

Speaker 3 Did you feel like you had to kind of tamper down your celebration because you had to wait for other people behind you to finish?

Speaker 7 Yeah, I mean, you just never know when it's over. And, you know,

Speaker 7 the last board I saw was on 15.

Speaker 7 So, but the way everyone was kind of behaving and I was like, you know, I, when I got up, I saw that I had a three-shot lead

Speaker 1 when I was on the last hole.

Speaker 7 And it was like, you know, it was weird. I was walking with Austin.

Speaker 7 I was just, I was trying to take it all in because that, that walk up 18 with the yellow leader boards, you know, that is like, if you're a golfer, that's.

Speaker 7 That's the sickest thing ever.

Speaker 7 You know, you get, I got chills when I was walking up to the green because I was like, this, the standing, everyone stands up and you take your hat off you wait you you know you're appreciative of everything and i'm sitting there walking with one of my best buds and i was like this is pretty freaking cool like this is sick and then i was like oh shit i still have to putt like i can't yam this 18 footer you know four feet by then mess mess this up so i quickly kind of locked back in and like like you said i didn't want to let my mind wander too much i was just you know it's done when it's done and you know i'm a big believer in that so

Speaker 7 Yeah, maybe I, you know, I didn't really

Speaker 7 really feel the need to celebrate or anything because I wasn't sure if I was going to win. You know, someone could make a hole in one on 17 and hold or hold out on 18 or something like that.

Speaker 7 So I just, I mean, how much of an ass would I look like if I was sitting there just like, you know, over the top celebrating and then just get absolutely shafted in the end?

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 it is what it is.

Speaker 3 So the big moment of celebration comes when they take that last stroke where it's like, okay,

Speaker 3 they mathematically can't win now.

Speaker 1 And then exactly. And then you throw yourself out.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 Once, you know, I think they had to hold out from the Faroe on 18. And, you know, after they didn't hold out, it's statistically or mathematically impossible to tie, and then it was over.

Speaker 1 Time deal. Yeah.
All right. Well, Xander, thank you so much.
Have you thought

Speaker 1 maybe you're just never going to lose a major again?

Speaker 1 What happened to this whole humble thing that we were doing? I'm just saying, I just started thinking, like, because that's how I think about everything. Like,

Speaker 1 whenever I play anything, I'm like, what if I just like, if I'm playing beer pong, I'm like, what if I just never miss? Like, have you thought about that? Maybe, maybe you just will never lose it.

Speaker 1 You've already lost your last major. That's crazy.
Yeah, that's crazy. U.S.
Open was the last major you'll ever lose.

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 3 What if you just retired right now?

Speaker 7 That would be the

Speaker 7 hottest take on PMT ever right there.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Xander Shoffley has lost his last major ever. Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Not my words.

Speaker 7 Not my words here.

Speaker 3 We're going to bet you accordingly. Yeah.
So we will let you know if you do not live up to X.

Speaker 1 I'm going to see if I can parlay all four.

Speaker 3 This is what's great about the media. It's like we spend years saying like, I don't know if Xander's ever going to win a big one.
Then you win two.

Speaker 7 Who's your guy now?

Speaker 1 We talked about this.

Speaker 1 We don't need to find that. We don't have to talk about our guy or who might be our guy, Max.

Speaker 1 But after he's a good friend.

Speaker 3 After we spend all these years saying like you can't win a big one, now every time you don't win a major, we're going to be like, what a disappointment from this guy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, he's off.

Speaker 3 He's overrated. You swing to overrated so quickly these days.

Speaker 7 Absolutely disgusting. He needs to change his shoes.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.
Well, we did. I feel like we did a good job.
We broke you down. We built you back up the Shauffley way.
That's good. All in 20 minutes.

Speaker 1 I feel refreshed. I'm ready to go.

Speaker 1 All right. Thanks so much, Xander.
We appreciate it. We'll talk to you after you win the masters.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 And the gold medal.

Speaker 1 And the gold medal, yeah. Okay.
Got it. Everything.
Okay. All right.
See you, man. Congrats.

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Speaker 1 Okay, Fire Fest of the week. Hank is not here.
That's my Fire Fest. No, I have a real Fire Fest, but I miss Hank.

Speaker 3 I kind of miss Hank.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just whatever his face would be right now.

Speaker 3 I miss the idea of Hank. Yeah.
I miss just having somebody I can get angry at.

Speaker 1 Huey, you want to start? Because Hank's not here? Yeah. All right, give us your Fire Fest.
Awesome. My Fire Fest is coaching softball, particularly me.
Yeah, I heard you were a really bad coach.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, this was,

Speaker 1 I was a bad coach.

Speaker 1 The report I got was you guys, they asked Huey to coach because Pug has

Speaker 1 off the team. Yeah, he needed some time off.
Because you resigned.

Speaker 3 Well, he might be back

Speaker 1 in a remote role. You signed up for softball on nights that we were, like, you have to work.

Speaker 4 I know.

Speaker 4 I don't.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
So, anyway, what I heard, and I would like to hear Huey's side, was Huey was made the coach, and all he did was chirp and be an asshole to his own team. Okay.

Speaker 1 Hand up.

Speaker 1 That was wrong. Wrong of me.

Speaker 1 Wrong of me to do everything I've done.

Speaker 1 I can make excuses, but none of them would

Speaker 1 surmount to anything excusable.

Speaker 1 But here I go.

Speaker 1 I wasn't aware of what they were expecting of me.

Speaker 1 I didn't know, you know, I had to keep track of the outs

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 3 the score.

Speaker 1 Those are two big ones that I was not aware of.

Speaker 1 I probably should have asked more questions before I accepted the job.

Speaker 1 And I think that's fair to say.

Speaker 1 And I just, you know, I then

Speaker 1 we went off against another team.

Speaker 1 They had uniforms, and they had drills in between each inning. And

Speaker 1 they had pregame drills. They at least had pregame drills.

Speaker 1 You're not a baseball guy. Like, throwing it around the diamond is

Speaker 1 a drill.

Speaker 1 Like, was the third baseman, was the first baseman throwing grounders to the shortstop in the third base, and then they were throwing it back to him?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that sounds like it was. Yeah, it's not really a drill.
Max, what was Puget?

Speaker 3 What did Pug do when he was the coach? Did he have you guys doing drills?

Speaker 4 No, Pug didn't have us doing drills. He made the lineup every day with a nice little graphic.
He would do a little pregame speech. He would keep track of the stats, and then

Speaker 4 he would do a post-game speech after the game. That was basically all he did.
He was a great vibes guy. Everyone turned to Pug when we needed something.

Speaker 1 And then,

Speaker 1 to Hull's credit, well, Huey, sorry.

Speaker 1 Three hours before the game, somebody sent the text being like, Pug, send the lineup. And then I texted knowing Pug wasn't going and said the Pugs may be dead.

Speaker 1 And then Huey got elevated to manager three hours before the game.

Speaker 3 Interim manager, maybe? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. So, and he was a dick?

Speaker 1 Big dick.

Speaker 1 Slight dick. Slight dick.

Speaker 3 Well, like, Huey, I'm going to take your side a little bit because it seems like this might be a millennials problem and a Gen Z problem that they can't take hard coaching.

Speaker 1 I just, I didn't, I wasn't told everything. If I knew how to keep track of stuff, I would have been on my game more.

Speaker 1 I also had three beers. It's a perfect amount, but not for me.
Yeah. And it was the night that the episode dropped.
First episode. I was a little anxious.
a little,

Speaker 1 all right, and then, you know, going to have some fun with the boys, and all of a sudden we're playing a team that had matching uniforms and drills, and it was alarming.

Speaker 1 And I got caught off guard, and

Speaker 1 I didn't keep track of what I should have been, keeping track of. And then I got frustrated, and I let it out on everyone.

Speaker 1 That's not fair to them.

Speaker 3 If you drink three beers, don't keep track of anything during the game, and then just yell at your teammates. I mean, Tony LaRusa has made a great career.

Speaker 1 But did you notice what he said there when he said three beers? He said three beers, perfect amount, not for me.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
So you overdid it? I should have known my own limits.

Speaker 3 Were you overserved by yourself?

Speaker 1 It's the perfect amount for someone else, but not for the person actually drinking them. Yeah, that was.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Live and learn, and I'll learn from that.
Okay. I don't think I'll ever have a coaching opportunity again.
You're not night tonight? No.

Speaker 1 They shouldn't let me even allow it near the stadium. Okay, so

Speaker 1 yeah, they do play the stadium.

Speaker 1 He's not coaching tonight, Max?

Speaker 4 I don't make those decisions.

Speaker 1 That's Pug.

Speaker 4 Pug has been reinstated as remote coach.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. So that's how bad he is.
You'd rather have a coach who doesn't show up than Huey.

Speaker 4 We're also, our team name is the Pugs.

Speaker 3 Like, we need Pug. I think that's more the case.
It's like

Speaker 3 you can't fill Pug's shoes. When you have a dog and your dog passes away, you don't get another dog immediately and then expect it to be just like the other dog.
You got to wait a little bit of time.

Speaker 1 I was a shelter dog. Yeah.

Speaker 1 My last owner beat me. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Who?

Speaker 1 I don't want to talk about that. Okay.

Speaker 1 Let's go to the analogy. All right.
Well, you'll get better. Maybe you'll get another shot.
Yeah, there's a Friday basketball game. Maybe

Speaker 1 I get a coaching job there. There's no coaching in that.
Okay. You'll play in it.
Yeah. So maybe it'll help the camaraderie.
You know, somebody might let me. We could use a coach.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I guess we could.

Speaker 1 I just heard from Hank that he was like, yeah, Huey showed up to the game. We made him coach, and he just talked shit the entire time

Speaker 1 nobody knew who he was there who was this kid who was it was his first

Speaker 4 just talking when i when i pop up right

Speaker 3 you should have gotten kicked out you should have just gave the umpire peace

Speaker 1 he was much bigger than me um and there was no way in how i was gonna i was gonna challenge that man to anything hug energy oh all right pft your fire fest uh my fire fest of the week is that i'm uh i'm going on the road for a little bit so we are going to grit week starting not next week but the week after and 10 days so 10 days but i'm doing i i think i'm doing

Speaker 3 seven cities in 14 days holy shit because i got a wedding then i'm going to austin for a little bit then i'm going to columbus for pup punk then i'm going to nashville for pup punk then i'm going straight from nashville to grit week and our cities that we're going to be going to grit week so the challenge i've put myself in is uh i delayed packing and i'm leaving tomorrow and i've got about a two-week long trip that I have yet to pack for and I've only got my tiny little red suitcase.

Speaker 1 You do laundry.

Speaker 3 I can do laundry on the road, but it's also in like seven different cities. Yeah.
Packing for all that and a concert that I have to bring my guitar with me for.

Speaker 1 You're going to lose at least three things.

Speaker 3 I know myself and there will be one item I will just completely forget to pack entirely. Meaning like I might not pack socks.
Yeah. I might forget entirely to pack underwear.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 There will be, I might not pack shirts.

Speaker 3 I've gone on a trip recently where I just didn't pack any shirts. Maybe you should just not pack.
And just buy stuff in every city. Yeah, live off the land.

Speaker 1 Live off the land. I could do that.

Speaker 1 What would I get? You've done it for Grit Week.

Speaker 3 I might do that for Grit Week this year.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 All new fits? Yeah. That actually would be fire.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'll do it with you.

Speaker 3 We land at Grit Week and we go.

Speaker 1 We've done it before. Yeah.
Goodwill.

Speaker 3 I kind of like this.

Speaker 1 I do all new fits.

Speaker 4 Exact.

Speaker 4 You and I have the exact same Fire Fest, even though I don't have a Fire Fest today.

Speaker 4 I haven't packed a single thing and and I'm going.

Speaker 1 You're going to Europe.

Speaker 4 I'm going to Europe tomorrow, and I'm going straight from Europe to Grit Week.

Speaker 1 I'm not saying that's all new fits. So, all new fits.

Speaker 3 We'll get new fits the second we arrive.

Speaker 1 Because I'll get there, I'll get your first fit. So, when you show up, like I'll go to a Pac-Sun or something.
Yeah. And we'll get us fits.
Do whatever you want.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Actually, we'll switch off days. I'll go day one, you go day two.
I like back and forth. Makeover.
Maybe, maybe, actually, yeah, everyone gets a day. Okay.
So

Speaker 1 I'll start on the Sunday. I'll get the whole boys a fit.
and then we'll go, yeah, we'll just do fits every single day.

Speaker 3 I like that part of my makeover. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Sounds like a video.

Speaker 1 PFT, you can do Monday, and then, yeah, Max can be up. Hank can be up.
Huey, maybe we'll do...

Speaker 1 I'm so glad. I don't know if that was...

Speaker 3 I'm so glad that Huey's around because

Speaker 3 there's probably only one guy in this room that has a worse sense of style than I do. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Although the coat was great. The coat was great.
That was all my dad. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay, that's great.

Speaker 3 Okay, so that's how you turn a fire fest into a fire FIRS fest.

Speaker 1 I love that.

Speaker 3 Now I'm excited about that. Yes.

Speaker 1 I love that. All right, my fire fest.
It's a simple one.

Speaker 1 I got to pull up the text.

Speaker 1 My wife said to me, texting me, she was like, our daughter said, poo is a bad word. And I was like, and my wife said back to her, like, it's not a bad word, it's a potty word.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And she told me that, like, she had said that. And I was like, oh, that's probably because I do swear around the kids.
Like I'm bad with that. I talk how I talk.

Speaker 1 And I was like, she probably just thinks it's a bad word. She's not actually talking about actual poop.

Speaker 1 And then when my wife tried to correct her, my daughter said, no, I'm talking about poops, the things daddy does for a really long time.

Speaker 3 That's good.

Speaker 1 So she was definitely talking about poops. And it's just like, yeah, she's like the thing daddy goes and does for a really long time.

Speaker 3 I've wondered that about people that have like three kids. How do you shit?

Speaker 1 I don't. Because

Speaker 3 you go shit, then there's only one parent and then there's three kids.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and they don't respect any type of like, I'll do the shower, I'll turn on the shower and hope that like they know showers on, they'll still walk in. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Parents just don't have time to shit.

Speaker 1 No, it's bad.

Speaker 1 But she's just, it's, I actually kind of feel like this is like my first, like, I'm feel like a masculine dad because I feel like that's a very big dad move for all the kids in the house to be like, yeah, dad goes and takes long shits.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 You should do that in front of your son. So then your son's like, my dad has bigger poops than your dad.
Yeah. You can get one up on that guy.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, your rival.
Big. That would be.
But that is like a real sense of like being a man. Yeah.
Being like, I'm going to the shitter. I'll be back in three hours.

Speaker 3 I mean, taking a shit is one of life's little pleasures where you get some time to think, scroll whatever website you're scrolling, maybe play a game while you're on there. Hang out.
No.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's like, that's what guys do for meditation. Yeah.
We just go take a shit. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I actually kind of want to put a couch in my bathroom.

Speaker 3 That'd be nice. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just lay down for a little bit. TV.
Appreciate

Speaker 3 it. A bed.
It wouldn't be bad. You could get a bed in there.
A kitchen?

Speaker 1 A kitchen would be nice. An air fryer in the bathroom? Yeah.
Have it all there in the bathroom. That would be nice.
Yeah. My bathroom's a mess, too.

Speaker 1 It's just like, I don't know how do you, you guys have the, just there's like splotches on the, on the mirror. All the time.
I think it's just because I wash my face.

Speaker 3 When you wipe it off? Yeah, when you wipe the mirror off. Yeah, it's a problem.
Yeah, and mirrors never get clean. No.

Speaker 1 No, it's a big-time problem. Okay.

Speaker 1 Let's finish off the show. Numbers, 20.
8.

Speaker 3 56.

Speaker 1 Max and I are dancing.

Speaker 4 Yeah,

Speaker 1 one time it's going to happen.

Speaker 1 3.

Speaker 1 77.

Speaker 1 Shane's in here. Shane, we talked about Jim Harbaugh's.
Put on the headphones to Shane. Give the headphones to Shane.
Shane,

Speaker 1 we talked about Jim Harbaugh's quote.

Speaker 1 And I saw the facility, the new facility. It looks awesome.
The bolt. Yeah.
It looks incredible. Yep.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Your number? 21.

Speaker 1 Pug?

Speaker 1 99. Pug.

Speaker 1 What were your numbers, Huey and PFT? 8.

Speaker 1 77.

Speaker 1 I know your number, memes. You've never gotten it.

Speaker 1 90

Speaker 1 90s

Speaker 1 need less to say

Speaker 1 I'm hot set it's about me, it's dumb

Speaker 1 weight.

Speaker 1 Still they learn a lot, it's okay. Say after me.

Speaker 1 It's for better to save the time,

Speaker 1 but I'm telling

Speaker 1 you.

Speaker 1 Release the anger, release your mind, release your job, release the time, release the strain, release the stress, release the love, forget the rest.