Coach Mike Vrabel, Comedian Gary Vider Growing Up With A Scam Artist Dad + We Introduce Our New Intern

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have a packed, packed show. Our good friend Coach Mike Vrabel on the show.
Awesome interview with Coach Vrabes.

Speaker 4 Large and intimidating.

Speaker 1 Yes, we also have a very interesting interview with comedian Gary Veter, who has a new podcast out that everyone should go listen to called Number One Dad.

Speaker 1 Basically talking about his childhood living with a father who was a scam artist, and he had these crazy stories. He snuck into MSG with his dad over 50 times.
Awesome interview with him.

Speaker 1 We're going to try to do the Mount Rushmore pizza toppings for real this time. It's our third try at this.

Speaker 4 We tried it last year. We tried to run it back and give Hank a shot at redemption.
Hank threw it right off the top, taking spinach in the first round. Yeah, so but I think Hank's really turned around.

Speaker 4 His attitude's much better. I was watching the old clip and Hank used to be just in a sour mood all the time.
Yeah. Didn't want to talk, didn't want to participate.

Speaker 4 All he did was complain that we ruined Mount Rushmore season. But now it's the summer of Hank.
We've got a new boy and he's chipper as hell. Different guy.
This is going to be great.

Speaker 1 Different guy. And then we also have the introduction of our intern.
So we're going to,

Speaker 1 there's an extra person in here, our new intern,

Speaker 1 who we all are fond of. He's been in the office for a couple days now, but we've kept him a secret because we wanted the AWLs to see him first.

Speaker 1 So we'll finish then with Firefest, but we have an awesome show.

Speaker 5 When Cool Creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo. The whole is greater than the sum of its sauce.
Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch sauce, only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 6 At participating, McDonald's.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the street, there is violence.

Speaker 1 And not a lot of solved work to be done.

Speaker 1 No place to hang out or washing,

Speaker 1 and then I can't blame all of the songs. Oh, no, we're gonna rock it down to Elite Trick Iven,

Speaker 1 and then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Elite Trick Avenue. It's part of my take presented by Marshall Sports.

Speaker 1 Welcome to Part of My Take presented by DraftKings. Best Ball Week is here.
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Speaker 1 It's Best Ball Week only on DraftKings. Today is Friday, July 19th, and my co-host looks like a poodle.

Speaker 4 I got the perm, baby. Yes.
Got the perm. Finally, a long time.
Yes. Now, I've wanted to pay this bet off for a long time.
I was originally supposed to pay it off when I got the tattoo.

Speaker 4 Memes didn't book the appointment correctly. Not to throw memes under the bus.
Don't point fingers. But if I were to point a finger, it would be directly at memes, but I'm not going to.

Speaker 4 I tried to reschedule it a couple times. Things popped up with travel.
Finally got it done today.

Speaker 4 I was the first male. Popped up.

Speaker 4 What? Popped up? Yeah, things popped up. Things popped up with.

Speaker 1 Things pop up in travel, yeah.

Speaker 4 Are we starting off with

Speaker 4 a negative attitude?

Speaker 1 I'm just curious.

Speaker 4 I'm just curious. Things popped up with travel.

Speaker 4 I actually was going to do it the day before Beer Olympics, but when we got kicked out, I scheduled it. Then we kicked ourselves back in.
Yeah. had to reschedule.

Speaker 1 You didn't know Super Bowl week was happening.

Speaker 4 They didn't know Super Bowl Week that blindsided me. Final four, also blindsided.
Yep. I was the guy's first perm.
Oh, so a guy had in that salon had never done a perm on a guy before.

Speaker 1 Wait, was it his first perm or

Speaker 1 first

Speaker 1 perm permit?

Speaker 4 It was his first perm.

Speaker 1 First same-sex perm?

Speaker 4 First same-sex perm.

Speaker 4 We're doing it now. Perm is perm in 2024.
You're good. Thank you.
Shout out to the people at Salon Sen, Sen Salon up north in Boys Town. Love it.
Great place to get a perm.

Speaker 4 It does smell, though, with the stuff that they put in your hair. Yeah, they don't tell you about that.
They really stink it up for a while.

Speaker 7 To be honest, it looks like you just jumped in the ocean.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean, I've got curly hair anyway, so this is. I told him to use the tightest, smallest rods they could find.

Speaker 7 How long does it last?

Speaker 4 I think until I like wash it out.

Speaker 7 So it's

Speaker 7 tough, yeah.

Speaker 4 No, I'm not going to wash it out too much.

Speaker 7 I can see why you put it off for so long.

Speaker 4 No, I didn't put it off, Hank. You missed it.
Meme screwed it up.

Speaker 1 If you're wondering why Hank might be in a bad mood, is because we're doing the Mount Rushmore of Pizza toppings today for the third time. We've done it twice.

Speaker 1 The famous first time we threw it. Well, we didn't throw it.
We were just trying to help our boy. Second time, Hank threw it.
Third time, we're going to do it for real. For real.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 For real, for real.

Speaker 1 Okay, so you got your perm. I kind of like it.
Yeah, it looks good.

Speaker 4 I'll tell you what, cruising in the El Camino with a perm hanging out. Yeah.
That's a good look.

Speaker 1 You're basically a time traveler.

Speaker 4 I'm pretty much from the 1970s. I'm living dazed and confused.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so we have a couple sports things to get to before we get to to Mount Rushmore, but the other thing we have to get to,

Speaker 1 there's another person here,

Speaker 1 and we have our intern, and his name is Matt, or Matthew. Matthew?

Speaker 1 I'd prefer Matthew. Okay, great.
Okay, why would you prefer Matthew? I think I'm a little too fat for Matt. Okay.
I think, you know, Matt's, you know, last six months, they've probably gotten laid.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. And you have not.

Speaker 1 Hey. You said it.
Okay.

Speaker 4 You lose a couple pounds, then you lose the letters. Yeah.
Then you'll just be Matha.

Speaker 1 But then what's the point?

Speaker 4 Yeah. Yeah.
So

Speaker 4 when you came in for the interview, we instantly fell in love with you. I'm a little disappointed that you're not wearing the suit again because the suit that you wore was a good look.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was a good look. I got it.
I mean, I can bring in any day. Okay, so you got your one suit.
Yeah, Matthew,

Speaker 1 we'll get to your backstory real quick in a second, and then we also gave you a task. Matthew blew us away.
He came in

Speaker 1 the wettest handshake of all time, which, by the way, I don't know if you guys shook his hand on Wednesday his first day. Yeah.
Still wet.

Speaker 4 Still wet, always damp.

Speaker 1 Still wet.

Speaker 4 Still wet. These are moist little boys.

Speaker 1 He had an upper lip that was just wet as could be.

Speaker 1 And then he sat down and we started talking. He is NBA whole on Twitter with a W.
With a W. And we were asking about it.

Speaker 1 And he said that he had an NBA podcast called NBA Hole, but he then decided he was going to, you know, equal time here. We're going to add the women, so he became NBA Hole with the W.

Speaker 1 And then we asked if we could listen to his podcast, and we're like, hey, how many episodes have you done? And he's like, I've been doing it for a couple of years. I got over 200 episodes.

Speaker 1 Like, great, we'll listen to it. He said, well, I accidentally deleted

Speaker 1 over 200 of my episodes. So that right there was basically like, we need this guy.

Speaker 4 Yeah, we need you. We need you.
That seems like the kind of guy that would fit in real real well around here, yeah.

Speaker 1 And then, and then I think he also had a did you have another podcast?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that also accidentally uh fell in the same category of waste, okay, that one, uh, but yeah, that one was more of like a just a whatever, you know, whatever floated my boat type of podcast.

Speaker 1 Okay, okay, what does float your boat, you know, just whatever is in, I'm in the mood for. Yeah, I'm a big, you know, sports and uh, those are my hobbies, gambling, obviously.

Speaker 1 Uh, I'm a big horror movie fan, so I like to get into you know, uh, weird, you know, thoughts and you know which killer could kill me quicker okay okay you know type of thing which guy could I you know do I have a shot against yeah

Speaker 1 who do you have a shot against Pennywise okay

Speaker 1 you're ready with that I've never seen it he well he never you never need to that IT yeah yeah IT that scared the fuck out of I saw it way too young as a child like the first one yeah and I shouldn't have seen that movie and I saw it and it was the scariest thing ever all right so Matthew give us a backstory give us what who where are you from?

Speaker 4 What are you about?

Speaker 1 Yeah, what are you about? What were you doing before this? Just, you know, yeah, I'm from Detroit,

Speaker 1 a little bit north of Detroit more specifically, a small little town called Macomb. Okay.
A high school. We got a lot of cougars out there because that's our high school name.
Okay. And

Speaker 1 a couple hot moms, but you know, a lot more young studs. We want to win a state title this year.

Speaker 1 Oh, you think so? Oh. We were like first place in the state, you know, like what, a year, two years ago? So you're asking, you're saying it like we know, we don't know.
Yeah, what's

Speaker 1 I'm hoping somebody else.

Speaker 4 So we're talking like the football team, they're going to win state this year in Michigan.

Speaker 1 That's the goal. Okay.

Speaker 4 I'm going to hold you that. I'm going to become very, very, I'm going to pay a lot of attention to Michigan High School football.

Speaker 1 Do it. You're going to be in it for a rude awakening.

Speaker 1 You don't even know what team he roots for. Yeah, come on.

Speaker 1 What if he roots for Macomb? You're not going to.

Speaker 4 No, I'm a Kalamazoo guy.

Speaker 1 But we have a rival. Yeah, I know.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Who's the rival? Chippewa.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Chippewa.

Speaker 1 That's my team. Yeah, they went under a name change a couple years ago.

Speaker 4 Yeah, now they're just the football team.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 what happened? I think they're the big reds now. Okay.

Speaker 1 That's almost worse. Yeah, that's that might have been the old name.

Speaker 1 They changed.

Speaker 1 They won this title in 2019. So we're, you know,

Speaker 1 we're falling behind them. Okay.

Speaker 4 So you're from north of Detroit, Michigan? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Did you go to college? Not one bit. I took one

Speaker 1 English class once. Okay.
Where? At a community college in Macomb.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 4 Why'd you take one class?

Speaker 1 Well, I just wanted to get it tested out, you know, see how I could do in the college life.

Speaker 1 See how I, you know, just I was working, so just let's add one thing, see if I can manage a class, manage the extra hours.

Speaker 1 Couldn't. Okay.

Speaker 1 The extra hour? Yeah, it was about an hour and a half.

Speaker 4 So what kind of jobs did you have after high school?

Speaker 1 So I've done, you know,

Speaker 1 lots of odds and ends. A cook, prep cook, laborer, non-union.

Speaker 1 You know, so just done it all. All good, yeah.
Yeah, don't know what a union looks like. Okay.

Speaker 4 What does laborer mean? That's like it could be anything.

Speaker 1 Exactly. That's picking things up, putting things down.
Yeah,

Speaker 4 giving birth.

Speaker 1 Yeah, putting some drywall. Maybe, you know, I'm the grunt work.
So, you know, up and down the stairs, you know, I was the one carrying everything, so Randy didn't hurt his back, type of thing. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then, yeah, like, you know, just helping, you know, hold stuff, get this. Yeah, you know, nothing skillful.
That sounds illegal.

Speaker 1 Like, hey, hold this for me. No, not that.
Hold this

Speaker 1 bag for me. No, hold the ladder up.

Speaker 1 So I can install the light. Got it, got it, got it.
That type of hold. Okay.

Speaker 1 And yeah, just kind of stuff like that.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't say anything too skillful, but yeah.

Speaker 4 We got to get you together with Jerry. Oh,

Speaker 1 me and Jerry. Oh, boy.
Me and Jerry had a night last night. They are very good friends.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you remind me.

Speaker 1 You share a lot of interest.

Speaker 4 You remind me a lot of Jerry right off the bat.

Speaker 1 They share a lot of interests. How much money are you?

Speaker 1 Political interests. Yeah.
You're not going to have to loan it. You're going to have to earn it.

Speaker 4 Okay. All right.
So the podcast that you started, NBA Hole.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I kind of want to just call you Hole.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I like Matthew for some reason.
Hole is good, I think. Hole, Matthew.

Speaker 8 We're just a nickname company, though.

Speaker 1 I need nicknames. I know, but it sounds like he's a Matt guy, and then Matthew's almost his nickname.

Speaker 4 Sir, intern whole.

Speaker 1 I think I'm going hole. Okay.

Speaker 1 With the W. That's so weird.

Speaker 1 Or just like our guy whole.

Speaker 7 I mean, we call memes

Speaker 7 at

Speaker 7 introducing himself to celebrities like, hey, what's up, Hank? And he goes, hey, I'm memes. But memes.
People were just like, what?

Speaker 1 Memes make sense. He's a memes guy.

Speaker 7 But saying memes to another human being is weird.

Speaker 9 Saying whole, it's like, it's, but that's the beauty of it. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, we'll work on it.
I have a kid named Pug.

Speaker 4 Also, Matt.

Speaker 1 Oh, he's a dog.

Speaker 4 Matt and Max sound a lot alike.

Speaker 1 Matthew, that's what I'm saying. Matthew? I like Matthew.
But okay, we'll figure it out. Let's not, we can't decide right now.
Let's see how he goes. He's going to do something stupid.

Speaker 4 So you started the podcast. What inspired you to start your own podcast?

Speaker 1 I just love sports. And I just, you know, I like a place to kind of go and talk about it and kind of...

Speaker 1 avenue you know funnel it down into a place where I I mean I'll be honest like I've listened to my own podcast like two to three times over what that's crazy I wanted to understand wait so were you listening to your podcast so you had another podcast to listen to or were you making your podcast you had another podcast i was i was making it just so i could go back and listen to myself and and learn how i like talked and my oh okay that's good yeah and and practice that so that it was like you know because i can sit there and you know hear somebody else talk and and talk about um you know i can sit there there we go i can sit there and hear somebody else talk and and and you know do all that but when it came to myself i just wanted to uh you know actually understand how you know my beats and uh you know my emotions and you know at the end of the day like you could talk but then you're not listening back to the film.

Speaker 1 It's

Speaker 1 going over game tape. It's all turned to

Speaker 1 except for you when you deleted it all. Well, listen.
I already listened to it back twice. Oh, I had all the, you know,

Speaker 4 is there something that you listened back to that you, you changed about how you did the podcast?

Speaker 1 Like, I just like certain like in and out of topics, making it like how I would transfer it from one topic to another, just making sure those transitions were a little bit better, understanding, making sure that like there was a little bit more of a beginning, middle, and end to my points and not just a point that, you know, didn't know where it was going to fizzle out.

Speaker 1 So, just kind of being a little bit more prepared for those things, not even necessarily writing it down, but just mentally knowing where to take that. Okay, so let's show everyone what you can do.

Speaker 1 So, why don't you tell us your order of teams, like your fandom order of teams?

Speaker 1 You can do college as well, and then transition into the first thing we asked you to do, which was we want the top 10 current basketball players in the world. So, that's NBA and WNBA combined.

Speaker 1 All right. All right.
Well, first off, I guess I'll give you my rundown of my teams.

Speaker 1 First off, as you can see, I'm repping them proudly, defending, reigning, undisputed, national champions of the college football world, the Michigan Wolverines. Okay.
So the football team will go one.

Speaker 1 Dan Campbell and the Detroit Lions are going to have to take a nice spot at number two.

Speaker 4 Number three, Shadley,

Speaker 1 my loyalty goes out to Tommy Gores and the Detroit Pistons. Okay.

Speaker 1 Four, Dusty May coming into Michigan Wolverine basketball. Okay.
Taking them back. I like that.

Speaker 1 Fab Five is going to be fabulous once again. Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, then, you know, Tigers and Red Wings are, you know, they're at the bottom. They're tied down.

Speaker 4 Are you a Michigan man?

Speaker 1 I'm a Michigan man at heart.

Speaker 4 What makes a Michigan man?

Speaker 1 Well, that's a good question.

Speaker 1 Hard work.

Speaker 1 And that's about it. Okay.

Speaker 1 What would you say to people who might call you a Walmart Wolverine?

Speaker 1 You're not a half-rong. Okay.

Speaker 1 I think that's a fair statement.

Speaker 1 Because I think, at the end of the day, I think it's fair to say

Speaker 1 the Wolverines have a little bit of pride and prestige.

Speaker 1 And, you know, a lot of doctors and lawyers go there. So when you never went to Michigan and you never even touched the university, but then you're sitting there saying, look at these boys.

Speaker 1 These are my boys. It feels a little, you know, it feels a little fucked up.
Listen,

Speaker 1 I don't prescribe to the theory the Walmart will ring. I think you should root for whoever you root for.

Speaker 1 It doesn't fucking matter.

Speaker 4 If you were to say that about everyone that cheered for every SEC team, yeah, it's stupid.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's a level of prestige. Yeah, but gatekeeping that stuff is the dumbest thing in my mind.
So, all right, so those are your teams.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, and then, you know, but at the end of the day,

Speaker 1 those teams are awesome. They are nowhere near as awesome as these 10 people in and out of the NBA and WNBA world.
That was a great transition. That was a great transition.

Speaker 1 And last, we're going to start with number 10.

Speaker 1 The old man himself, the man who's done it before and he'll do it again, LeBron James. Do you think he's going to win another title? He could.
Wait, are you a LeBron fan?

Speaker 4 I like excellence.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.
And he's been excellent. Okay.
That's who you are, LeBron.

Speaker 1 For now.

Speaker 4 What do you think about him making the Lakers draft his son?

Speaker 4 Man,

Speaker 1 it was disappointing.

Speaker 1 LeBron's a better person than that. And I think at the end of the day,

Speaker 1 sure, he's going to play with Bronnie one day. But

Speaker 1 it's.

Speaker 4 I like that. Like, you're disappointed.

Speaker 1 You're actually disappointed.

Speaker 1 Yeah. What about?

Speaker 4 I mean, I always have a feeling a man who doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man. Well, that's what I always say.

Speaker 1 Maybe he was trying to speedline that process. Yeah.
Bringing Bronnie to his team. Yeah.
So, you know, just disappointing. Okay.
Just, you know, made me look at him differently as a father. Oh.

Speaker 1 That's what I was saying. Oh, okay.
Yeah. Number nine, not a father.
Are you dad? No. Okay.

Speaker 1 And neither is this guy, I don't think.

Speaker 1 Joelle and Biet. Okay.
I think he

Speaker 1 definitely is a father. 100% a father.
100% a father. All right.

Speaker 10 Arthur is the name of his son.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I got a dog named Arthur.

Speaker 4 All right, so he's number dog.

Speaker 1 A Pomsky. Who's that? Like a little.

Speaker 4 That's the chief of staff for Coach O at LSU.

Speaker 1 Remember? Yeah, a Husky Pomeranian. Okay, yeah.
Yeah, he's a little thing. Okay.

Speaker 1 Joelle, you know, dying, but, you know, at the end of the day, is he going to do it?

Speaker 7 No.

Speaker 1 Number eight. I like how he did.
That was a great sports broadcaster thing. You didn't even answer your own question.
Is he going to do it? And then just go to the next one.

Speaker 1 Number eight, a guy who arguably maybe shouldn't be on this list.

Speaker 1 But you made it.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm arguing. Okay.
You're arguing with yourself. Love this.
But he's he's probably the best ball handler in the world.

Speaker 1 Magical, some say. Kyrie Earth.
Whoa, yeah. I don't hate that.
At the end of the day, if you want to win a game, he can help you do that. Turns out.
He's more than Joel.

Speaker 4 He was hurt at the end of last season.

Speaker 4 He just got surgery.

Speaker 1 Okay. Well, he is Kyrie.
There's a lot of big names left. Seven? Yannis Antatakumbo.
Okay. Good job.

Speaker 1 A great Greek freak.

Speaker 1 He's, you know, a couple rough seasons, and the Bucs are a rough organization right now.

Speaker 1 But they're going to be all right. And if they have him, they'll manage.
Okay. Six, obviously, the man who still does it, Stefan Curry.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I think he just performed pretty well against Serbia.

Speaker 1 I think it was 18 in a couple minutes.

Speaker 4 Rivalry game, yeah.

Speaker 1 Great kid. Gonna keep doing big things.

Speaker 4 Hold on, let's

Speaker 4 that a Michigan accent?

Speaker 1 Nervous Michigan, that is. Okay.

Speaker 1 Steph Curry's like.

Speaker 1 34. Yeah, he's like 10 years older than you, right? Yeah, he's a young guy.
Great kid. Great kid.
Not even 40. He's got a whole life in front of him.

Speaker 1 Number five, the man himself, SGA. Okay.
Shane Gildress.

Speaker 1 At the end of the day, he does great things. And his ceiling is, he's blown my expectations out of the water.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Number four,

Speaker 1 maybe a pretty controversial pick.

Speaker 1 Victor Wenbenyama.

Speaker 4 Okay, I like this. Let's get him out there.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 by the time this man can rent a vehicle, he will be the best player in the world. Wow.

Speaker 4 Was that 25?

Speaker 1 Yeah, 25.

Speaker 1 We got like four years? Yeah. I mean, to me, the sky is nothing but a limit.

Speaker 4 When you put it that way, like that,

Speaker 4 it seems like he's about to be the best player in the world. Yeah.
Because you would assume he'd be able to rent a vehicle.

Speaker 1 No, he can't. Can't now.
Yeah. But he will be three more years.

Speaker 1 Probably.

Speaker 1 How old is he? I think he's like 21? 20.

Speaker 1 How old are you, Matthew? 25. Okay, so you can rent a vehicle.
He's 20 years old. Five more years.
All right.

Speaker 1 Number three on this list. The only woman

Speaker 1 I want to make clear. Let's make it clear now.

Speaker 1 Asia Wilson. Oh,

Speaker 4 good call.

Speaker 1 She averages 12 rebounds, two steals, three blocks. Four more points per game than second place in the league.

Speaker 1 Her EFF, which is her overall efficiency, is nine more than the second place girl. Wow.

Speaker 1 And that's points, rebounds, assists, steals, blocks together, minus field goals and missed free throws per game and turnovers.

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 1 her being the best woman in the world compared to the second best woman in the world, the gap is as

Speaker 1 long, as as strong, as as big

Speaker 1 as Patrick Mahomes to the second best quarterback in football during the playoffs, specifically the playoffs. Okay.
Just, she is just, you're confident with her.

Speaker 1 You know, she is skillful. She's athletic.
She's insanely talented. Yeah.
She can do it all. You're not worried about what she can't do.
You're worried about what she can do

Speaker 1 against them. And she's going to be.

Speaker 1 Okay. Who's the second best quarterback in the NFL?

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 During playoff time, I would take Joe Burrow. Okay.
All right. At the end of the day, you know.
Good answer. He hasn't been, you know.

Speaker 4 Yeah. He's been injured.
He's come back.

Speaker 1 Number two,

Speaker 1 a teammate of a man we named earlier, Luka Donkic. Okay.
You know, just what he does, his overall stat line, just impressive as can be.

Speaker 1 A little bit of a beer belly, but hey, I'm no one to talk.

Speaker 1 Same age. Same age.

Speaker 1 Number one. Good kid.
Number one, great kid. Number one,

Speaker 1 the best player in the world,

Speaker 1 Nikola Yokic.

Speaker 4 Yep, I like your list. This is a solid top 10.

Speaker 1 At the end of the day, he's one. And that's the difference between him and Luca.
Yeah, world champion. And you can argue Asia should be two because she has a title.
Yeah. So maybe I'm.

Speaker 1 Do you want to change?

Speaker 1 Sure. Okay.

Speaker 1 Asia's number two. Okay.
All right. I like that.

Speaker 4 I can't find any holes, any gaps at all in that top 10.

Speaker 11 I want to be realistic.

Speaker 1 At the end of the day, you have to be honest. There isn't going to be another two or three girls on this list.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, Caitlin Clark fans can shut the hell up. Oh.
With that being said, 19 assists, that was incredible. Incredible.
Incredible.

Speaker 1 I haven't seen something like that since Kirk Heinrich and NBA 2K06. Oh.

Speaker 1 But yeah,

Speaker 1 that's my list.

Speaker 4 I would rank your list very highly.

Speaker 1 That's one of the

Speaker 4 top 10 lists I've heard this year.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Hopefully, it's the best.
Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. Anything else before we talk some other stuff?

Speaker 4 Hank, do you have any comment on that?

Speaker 7 No, I think the only one that

Speaker 7 I would take umbrage with would be SGA.

Speaker 8 Yeah?

Speaker 4 You're an umbrage taker.

Speaker 1 Who do you think should be on it?

Speaker 7 Well, I think there's a guy who's the same age.

Speaker 1 Jason Tatum. He's not in the top 10.
More all NBA for

Speaker 1 Jalen Brown is not in the top 10.

Speaker 7 Yeah, well, I heard your list. I know that.

Speaker 7 I just said if I were to take Umbridge, it'd be with that.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 More points per game, more rebounds per game.

Speaker 7 Way more playoff wins.

Speaker 1 No Anthony Edwards either.

Speaker 7 But that's fine. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, so and then you also said that you were working on Mount Rushmore ideas. Why don't you give us two? Okay.
And then we'll keep moving.

Speaker 1 By the way, Matthew said he was working on Mount Rushmore ideas. He came up with some.
He found some. He found some and split them.
I don't know what that means, but he found some and he split them.

Speaker 1 So one, I got families to live with. The Mount Rushmore families to live with.
Like, you could do sitcom families like the Griffins, but the Hutchinson family.

Speaker 1 You just wake up next to good-looking people. Oh, you know, so families to live with.
with are good moms. I don't hate that one.
Yeah, that felt like that. Okay, so Hutchinson was right there with.

Speaker 1 It's a good family. Yeah, okay.
It's a very good family. Yeah, yeah, no, very good family.
This is a good one. Missed shots.
Oh. Come on, Rushmore.
Missed shots.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's kind of wide open.

Speaker 1 Yeah, a lot of missed shots lately, I'd say. Oh, okay.
Yeah. Yeah.
Missed shots being up there.

Speaker 1 I also got fat guy sayings. Oh.
Okay. I like that.

Speaker 1 I mean, every draft is stacked for Max.

Speaker 1 I'll have another. Yeah.
Are you going to eat that? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I could eat. Yeah.
Yeah. I'm not sure.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I like that. Can we have some?

Speaker 7 I hate pizza. I hate ice cream.
That's what Max has been saying all week.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 10 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hank, how could you call us fat again? Another fat guy says.

Speaker 1 Or the one today,

Speaker 7 Jerry walked in and was like, oh, we got the big guys in here. Max was, what is that supposed to mean?

Speaker 7 Damn, Max. But it wasn't.

Speaker 1 It's okay. Yeah.
I was calling calling you my big boy on Tuesday night. Yeah, that was good.
Yeah, I said that's my big boy.

Speaker 10 I thought this jersey was too small.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Okay, Matthew, we're excited to have you.

Speaker 1 You'll be helping out as much as you can, internship for the rest of the summer.

Speaker 7 I was having one conversation with him yesterday that I told him to save for the show, and that I needed to hear your coach Doug's critiques.

Speaker 1 He started

Speaker 7 breaking it down.

Speaker 1 Breaking it down. He has a notebook.
So I took notes on every game. Okay.

Speaker 7 Just general philosophy stuff.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So it's actually just really impressive what you've managed to do.

Speaker 1 Feels like.

Speaker 1 Because somehow

Speaker 1 you performed worse on the second night.

Speaker 1 What? Even though you had more wins,

Speaker 1 which is actually impressive. No, this is good.
This is good. Win ugly.

Speaker 1 You threw,

Speaker 1 I want to make this very clear, eight pick sixes last night.

Speaker 1 I played more games.

Speaker 1 You threw 16 interceptions. Yeah, I played more games.
I played five games the first night. I played, what, like eight games the second night?

Speaker 1 You still threw 11 interceptions on the first night. Yeah.
Three of them picked sixes. Yeah.
Four touchdowns. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I think these are all passing numbers, but I think there was only three touchdowns, and I'd give you an extra one because I felt bad. Okay.

Speaker 1 I mean, it was just honestly awful. Yeah.
But I won.

Speaker 1 The Cala game, the first game, you threw five interceptions. Yeah.
I mean,

Speaker 1 that's a horrible way way to start a season. Yeah, that was the first game that I played in the game.

Speaker 4 These are long quarters, right?

Speaker 1 These are

Speaker 4 10, 15-minute quarters.

Speaker 1 He should be running the ball more. Okay.
I mean, that was the one thing I kept noticing is positive yards happen more times than not when the ball is in the ball carrier's hand.

Speaker 1 But then you throw the ball and the shit doesn't go well. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And you were the craziest part is on the second night, you were staying in the pocket more, but yet you were more inconsistent with your throw.

Speaker 1 So somehow you learned from your mistakes, but you didn't.

Speaker 1 Just so we're clear, I'm the offensive coordinator. I'm not playing the game.
Right.

Speaker 1 Like the players play the game. But the play call hasn't been great either.
Okay, okay, okay. You know, for good to get into it.
Okay.

Speaker 1 But I did win, I turned the season around, won a bowl game, which you have yet to congratulate me on.

Speaker 1 Congratulations

Speaker 1 on the best season Wazoo is going to have under you, Coach Dougs. Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 I mean, the roster coming into next season. Are you poopy stinks?

Speaker 1 I'm realistic. Okay.
And I'm wanting to root for you. Okay.

Speaker 1 But when you're missing Reeds,

Speaker 1 I mean, you could have beat Oregon. Yeah.
Game one, or that's, what is it, second or third week? Yeah, you're talking about the first night, though. Yeah.

Speaker 1 First night I was like, it was just, it was, it added to the badness on night two. Okay.
If you won that game,

Speaker 1 you know, sky's the limit. Yeah.
You could have got a three-star recruit. Yeah.
Okay, I'll take that criticism. That's rough.
Yeah. All right.
That's fair. Listen, I'm a big boy.

Speaker 1 I'll be in the booth next season, and I'm excited. Okay.
I'm rude. I would love to see your notes after a game.
I'd love to get you, you know, the feedback helps.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I think, you know, you need to listen to your thoughts more. I feel like you're,

Speaker 1 you know, you're just doing things. Yeah, I know that's true.
You just got to calm down, breathe, and take it one day at a time, one play at a time. Yeah, that's facts.
That's facts. Okay, so Matthew.

Speaker 1 I like that. I like that.
Come in at Doug's. I like that.
So you're going to be there. You'll watch the games, the streams.
You're going to be with us for the rest of the summer.

Speaker 1 We'll see how it goes. We're excited to have you.
And

Speaker 1 what else? Anything else for Matthew?

Speaker 4 No, I'm excited. I'm excited.
I think we're going to have him be the world's first college football brachatologist. Yeah.
Preseason. So maybe next week? Yeah, next week.

Speaker 4 Next week, do your brachetology for the top 10. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Or top 12.

Speaker 1 And between now and the end of the show, think of a fire fest, okay? All right. All right, you got this.

Speaker 4 I like Matthew.

Speaker 1 That's Matthew, our intern.

Speaker 4 Mr. Hole.
Yes.

Speaker 1 There's got to be some people who applied, and they're like, the guy fucking deleted 200 podcasts, and that's how he got the show. I mean, I like that.

Speaker 4 We've got a guy whose only job is to press the button to publish the show. Now we have a guy whose only job is to press the button to delete the show forever.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 10 They're also the video with all of the interns that applied will be coming out shortly.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and you'll see Matthew did sweep us away.

Speaker 1 He was quite something. Yep.
Suit on, and he looked, I think I called called him John Candy, New Age John Candy. Yeah, like from watch trains and automobiles.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if you're watching right now, he's got a John Candy look that makes him very lovable.

Speaker 1 So we're Big Matthew guys. Okay, Sports World.

Speaker 1 Cale Williams officially signed as a bear.

Speaker 4 Was there a doubt that he was going to sign?

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 that's funny, PFT, that you asked that.

Speaker 1 If you listen to the lamestream media, there was a doubt. The Florios, the Cowards, the RG3s of the world.

Speaker 4 Wait, are you talking about pre-draft?

Speaker 1 I'm talking about the entire process of there was pre-draft. There was in between draft and signing that people were like, oh,

Speaker 1 he's trying to get the Bears to agree to no franchise tag. He's trying to get the Bears to agree to no fifth year right now.
He wanted equity.

Speaker 1 All these rumors were such bullshit because Caleb Williams doesn't have an agent. So you have agents basically saying, hey, Caleb Williams, if you had an agent, all this stuff wouldn't be happening.

Speaker 1 You should have hired me. But Mike Florio, Colin Coward, RG3,

Speaker 1 the countless anonymous trolls, all who said that there was 0% chance that Caleb Williams is going to sign with the Bears, that he was going to force a trade, that he was going to demand ownership.

Speaker 1 Florio said he was going to play another season at USC. You all look like morons.
Caleb Williams is officially signed as a bear. We now have a window, and I would like an apology.

Speaker 1 I would hope Florio would be a big enough man to apologize. I don't expect it.
Coward, the same. Remember, Coward said his father said he's no chance he's going to go to Chicago.
All these people

Speaker 1 spent all this time, and no one's taking him to task. So you've been taking a task, and he's officially a bear, and I'm excited.

Speaker 4 I think that there was a lot of talk going like through the season about certain teams he didn't want to go to.

Speaker 4 And then for like a month leading up to the draft, then that ESPN article came out that was like Caleb is down to because it was always bullshit. And then there was nothing.

Speaker 4 I haven't heard any other doubters after the draft, post-draft.

Speaker 1 There were people who were saying he was trying to get the fifth year taken away and to get the franchise tag taken away. Like, there are people, and they'll move the goalposts.

Speaker 1 I had people yesterday telling me that Caleb Williams won't sign a second contract.

Speaker 4 Let's have that discussion right now. It's just crazy.
I don't listen to the Floriers of the world. I listen to the Boogers of the world.

Speaker 1 An RG TV.

Speaker 4 Booger McFarlane, he said today on Get Up, don't be surprised when Jaden Daniels is the guy that they're talking about next year as being like a C.J.

Speaker 4 Stroud and Caleb Williams is the one being talked about like he's a Bryce Young.

Speaker 1 So I go with Booger. Booger played in the league.
Okay. That's my guy.
Okay.

Speaker 4 He knows ball.

Speaker 9 Windows open.

Speaker 4 Windows open.

Speaker 1 All right, what else do you guys want to talk about? That was a dud.

Speaker 1 No, I honestly just

Speaker 1 Bronney hit a three. He did? Finally?

Speaker 4 Bronney hit two threes. He had a good game.
12 points. And there's talk that they might shut him down after he had one good game.
Just leave him with a good taste in his mouth from Summer League.

Speaker 4 So I don't know if that's going to happen. But that was the big story.
A lot of other people are pointing out that Alexander Saar went 0 for 15 from the field,

Speaker 4 0 for 7 from three points against the Blazers.

Speaker 4 You know what? You learn more from a miss than you do from a make. Yeah.
So I feel like Alexander Sarr has nothing but room for growth.

Speaker 1 Wait, so Brownie hit 1-3.

Speaker 4 Oh, I thought he hit 2.

Speaker 4 I thought he went 2-for-5.

Speaker 7 And one of them was clutch.

Speaker 1 He's on fire. What do you mean it was clutch? I was like,

Speaker 1 the agency? No. No.

Speaker 4 I think they're all clutch.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, he is all clutch.

Speaker 1 We also had the list, the top 100 athletes. We called it correctly.
Serena Williams was number one. Was she?

Speaker 4 Yep. Fucking nailed that one.

Speaker 1 We forgot about Michael Phelps. Oh, no, it was Michael Phelps.
Sorry, Michael Phelps, number one. We forgot about Phelps.
Serena was number two. Okay, and then number three was Messi.

Speaker 4 Okay, Messi. That makes sense.

Speaker 1 I like that.

Speaker 4 That makes sense. And then after that, Tom Brady.

Speaker 1 It was two, Serena, three, Messi, four, LeBron, five, Tom Brady, six, Federer, seven, Simone Biles. Okay.
We didn't have that on our radar. Eight, Tiger Woods, nine, Yusaine Bolt, ten, Kobe Bryant.

Speaker 4 Interesting.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And then Novak, and then Nadal and Ronaldo.
Oh, so interesting.

Speaker 4 Messi's way higher than

Speaker 4 that. Where was Jokovich?

Speaker 1 Jokovich was 10.

Speaker 4 Did they have any horses on the list?

Speaker 1 I don't think they had any horses on the list.

Speaker 4 Null and Void.

Speaker 1 I do not think they had any horses on the list. Steph was 14.
Katie Ledecki, 15. Yeah,

Speaker 1 they did a good job of switching it up on us because we thought it was going to be Serena, and then they went with the Phelps. Forgot about Phelps.

Speaker 4 We also had Sam Pittman, Arkansas coach. He went in front of the media today, and he gave the best quote of the offseason, besides Mike Gundy saying that he's driven drunk thousands of times.

Speaker 4 Sam Pittman said, our focus this year is to embrace the hog

Speaker 4 at Arkansas. Okay.

Speaker 1 Which I love.

Speaker 4 That's a great slogan that you can put out there. Okay.
It's easy to chant. That's what Bill Clinton's motto was for the state when he was governor there.
And I feel like Arkansas might be back.

Speaker 4 I think they're also back because they get to renew the rivalry against Texas. Yeah.
Which is bigger than a lot of people think. Like, Arkansas and Texas hate each other.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 And so we didn't get to see too much of that in the last couple of years. But I don't know.

Speaker 4 I like Sam Pittman. I'm wishing the best for the hogs.
Embrace the hog.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And he's also got those big old breasts.

Speaker 4 Big breasts. Yeah.
And the gels. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're Sam Pittman guys. I would like Arkansas to be good.

Speaker 4 Oh, also, Russell Westbrook. He's in the news today.
Yeah, what happened with him? So he was traded to the Utah Jazz again, and they're going to buy out his contract again.

Speaker 1 He just gets,

Speaker 1 he's got the best career ever.

Speaker 4 So this is two years in a row where he will be on the Utah Jazz. I don't think they ever even thought about making a jersey for him.

Speaker 1 They should really do a retirement video for him.

Speaker 4 Yeah, a welcome back. They should do it.
Yeah, a welcome home video.

Speaker 1 He went to the Nuggets today.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so he went to the Jazz. They bought the contract out.
Oh, I don't like him. And then he goes to the Nuggets.
I don't like that fit on the Nuggets either.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't like that on the Nuggets. Huh.
Okay, and then we had the Open Championship. Victor Hovland sucks.

Speaker 1 Yeah, tough course. That was a bad decision by us with the whole death thing.
And we're like, oh, maybe this will be. And then he was eating ice cream.

Speaker 1 That sucked. Yeah, this is a tough course.
We saw a couple people. I think Morikawa did it where he hit a bunker shot and it just went around the bunker and came back in the bunker.

Speaker 4 I saw that a couple times. Those are fun.
Bryson's basically out.

Speaker 7 Ludwig's basically out.

Speaker 1 yeah tigers definitely out he had that one birdie though which was sick yeah and then brooks had like a four-hole span where it looked like brooks is live brooks is alive brooks is dialed right now and bryson also had a uh moment where he uh corrected a reporter's english and but bryson was wrong i don't know if you guys saw no i didn't see that he he said incalculable yeah uh the reporter i believe hold on let me get the clip uh i think the reporter said incalculable and he said it's actually incalculable or whatever Incalculatable?

Speaker 1 Yeah, hold on. Ready?

Speaker 1 When there's so many measurements going on in your mind, there's not that many.

Speaker 1 There's a couple.

Speaker 11 Yeah, there's a couple, but not that many.

Speaker 1 Incalculatable.

Speaker 1 And you got to give a look to it.

Speaker 4 Uncalculatable might be a word. I don't know.
But yeah, incalculable is the word.

Speaker 1 Incalculatable.

Speaker 4 I love the idea of Bryson just correcting people and being wrong, though. That's good.
I like that. Good for you.
Yeah. Did you see the plants? The borse? Is that what it's called?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's what Shane Baker.

Speaker 4 That Shane was telling us about. Have you seen the pictures of it? Yeah.
It's fucking gnarly. Yeah.
It is crazy. It doesn't.

Speaker 1 I know that Lynx golf is supposed to be the best golf, and everyone wants to go to

Speaker 1 the UK to play it, but it just never seems fun. No.
When I watch it, I'm like,

Speaker 1 the wind is always blowing. It's overcast.
There's huge bunkers. It just doesn't seem fun.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and the courses look like they were just bombed out in World War II.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Never repaired them. Yeah.

Speaker 4 It looks like the worst event to go to as a fan, as a spectator. Just sitting out in the rain and the wind the whole time.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but you guys love the course. I do, but I'm just saying, like

Speaker 1 the course is fighting.

Speaker 7 Correct.

Speaker 1 No, these are good things for the course.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah. I'm talking about like the experience of being out there in person.

Speaker 1 The course, like when I watch the Masters, I'm like, man, I wish I could go play Augusta. That looks incredible.
When I watch the British Open, I'm like, I don't know if I'd want to play that.

Speaker 1 And obviously I'm not a big golfer, so I get it. It's incredible for golfers, but like it looks miserable in the fact that if I ever got in that bunker, I'd never get out ever in a million years.

Speaker 8 It's cheap over there.

Speaker 8 Golf is cheap over there, which seems appealing.

Speaker 1 Well, I mean, but you have to fly over there.

Speaker 7 Yeah, but if you're right, that's true.

Speaker 4 How cheap is it?

Speaker 4 Like, 50 bucks, 100 bucks. But the flight.

Speaker 7 I'm saying, though, like that.

Speaker 1 In the hotel.

Speaker 4 Hank's thinking about moving.

Speaker 7 No, no, I'm not saying. I just think that's a nice thing.
Like, they golf is for the people.

Speaker 8 For the people's, for the people.

Speaker 1 Should we take a trip i'd be down group week yeah we're throwing that out there yeah do you think you can golf right now i can't no oh no we gotta he can't eat ice cream fire fest yeah it's bad oh no hank sacrifice you do sacrifice for us constantly the team needed me and i i didn't want to back out yeah

Speaker 1 uh what i i agree with you you did you you were awesome on homerun derbies you didn't want to back out no I didn't.

Speaker 7 I wanted to, but I knew I couldn't.

Speaker 1 Hank was very good.

Speaker 4 Stand-up guy.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, he was fucking awesome.
He had a great swing.

Speaker 1 Okay, anything else?

Speaker 4 Brandon Ayuk demanded a trade.

Speaker 1 Again?

Speaker 4 No, he formally

Speaker 4 requested it with the team.

Speaker 1 Instead of passive aggressive.

Speaker 1 Instead of just posting practice videos where he's like commanders. Yeah, I wish I could play with this guy.

Speaker 4 Yeah, but he apparently requested it with the team. But the Niners have a history of not honoring trade requests because you don't really have have to.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, you don't have to do anything. You don't have to do anything.
And Brandon Ayuk's really good.

Speaker 4 In the NFL, that's what the contracts basically say. It's like your only leverage that you have is to just be annoying.

Speaker 1 So he wants to trade. Wait, is something going on with Devontae Adams too? Memes?

Speaker 4 A lot of people shot it down, but there's speculation.

Speaker 1 So, but you're thinking maybe. I'm thinking if the Raiders start off bad, then trade rumors are going to ramp all the way up.

Speaker 4 Nice. Nice.
Yeah. Nice.

Speaker 1 Yeah. On the on the new Netflix show, The Receiver,

Speaker 4 he was just pissed at Jimmy G.

Speaker 1 I saw that. He's like, he's going to get me killed.
Yes. Never want to see that.

Speaker 4 We should watch that show. I feel like it's good.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Never want to get me killed is not what you want your wide receiver saying.

Speaker 4 They got to make a show just the fullback. Like how we had the quarterback one, then wide receivers one.
Give me a fullback show.

Speaker 1 It's just a 10-minute episode.

Speaker 4 All fullbacks. Yeah.
10-minute episode, but just like dudes lighting people up.

Speaker 1 Sideline shot, sideline shot, sideline shot. Yeah.
Full line package, sideline shot.

Speaker 4 Then like the bye week and they're on like their family farm using a tractor.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's what I want.

Speaker 1 Show me fullbacks. Chose fullbacks.
All right. Should we do our Mount Rushmore? Something that is probably the most ambitious thing we've ever done is this podcast.

Speaker 1 We're going to try to do a Mount Rushmore for the third time for real this time, though.

Speaker 1 Hank. Water?

Speaker 1 Oh, we did do water. Yeah.
Water was a good one.

Speaker 4 That was a good one, yeah.

Speaker 1 Water was a good one.

Speaker 4 You remember when what did what went 1-1 overall?

Speaker 1 I think it was from the hose,

Speaker 1 maybe the ocean.

Speaker 7 The ocean, probably. My dad did that one.

Speaker 7 It was bad. Yeah.
Bad performance.

Speaker 1 Uh, okay.

Speaker 7 The second time we did it.

Speaker 1 It is the Mount Rushmore of Pizza Toppings.

Speaker 4 Hey, it's PFT here, reminding you that Boarshead makes game day entertaining elevated and effortless.

Speaker 4 Whether you order catering platters ahead from your local Boarshead retailer, or you create your own spread at home with Boarshead premium deli meats and cheeses, you are sure to impress your guests.

Speaker 4 My favorites, like oven gold turkey or blazing buffalo-style chicken, paired with their classic Vermont cheddar or creamy Munster cheese, are sure to score big and help me elevate my entertainment every time, whether it's for a tailgate or a home gating celebration.

Speaker 4 Seriously, guys, it's a game-changing flavor for every gathering. Boarshead, committed to craft since 1905.

Speaker 1 And we are going to do the Mount Rushmore pizza toppings

Speaker 1 for real this time.

Speaker 1 Hank,

Speaker 1 are you going to participate?

Speaker 7 I think

Speaker 7 I'm going to leave it up to my guy Hole.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 9 No, I have a question for him.

Speaker 7 I have a question for him.

Speaker 1 If you got lied to and burned.

Speaker 7 Here we go.

Speaker 1 I would like to, after this question, I would also like to ask a question. No.

Speaker 1 What do you mean, no? I can't ask a question?

Speaker 7 He can answer. Not before he answers.

Speaker 1 All right, answer his question, then I'm going to ask you.

Speaker 4 But I object to Hank's question. Objection

Speaker 4 because he did not get burned. If anything, that's what I was going to ask.

Speaker 1 We were gassing him up. Yeah, yeah, save it, save it, save it, because I'm going to ask him a different question after.

Speaker 7 All right, you know, you do something with honor and integrity.

Speaker 7 You believe everyone's playing by the same rules, and then you find out that people bent the rules, they went behind your back, they lied to your face.

Speaker 4 He's a Michigan fan.

Speaker 7 Would you give them the time of the day and do another version of that?

Speaker 8 Or would you stand for something

Speaker 1 you should give him another chance oh i love that answer i did last summer i love no no you didn't no you didn't no you didn't i let me let me no he took spinach 1-1 let me ask you a different question uh matthew uh

Speaker 1 would you say uh if you're if you have a friend and they are going through some tough times down in the dumps they're losing mountain rush more they're just not happy like life is but that's the thing i'm losing mountain rush mores right right now, so how am I supposed to believe you?

Speaker 1 Hold on, Mount. I don't believe.

Speaker 1 You're already treating yourself, bro. This will be his life.

Speaker 7 I've lost the last five Mount Rushboys.

Speaker 1 That's not true.

Speaker 4 I lost Monday's Mountain Rush Boys.

Speaker 1 Life is not great, and then your friends come and pick you up and try to make you feel good for a moment.

Speaker 7 Do it as a bit to make you feel worse.

Speaker 1 They make you feel worse.

Speaker 1 For people who don't know.

Speaker 7 That was the worst thing that happened to me that four years ago,

Speaker 1 Hank was getting crushed, and life wasn't good for him at the time. And we might have thrown a Mount Rushmore at Pizza Toppings when he found out he was so mad.

Speaker 1 So, so mad. And then last year, we tried to do it again for real, and he took spinach 1-1.

Speaker 1 So, we're going to try to do it for real this time.

Speaker 1 Let's put it together. Let's do it.
I'm going to go for real. Me too.

Speaker 10 Hank's acted like a little kid at camp who got bullied once.

Speaker 1 He's like, This is the worst thing that's going to happen in my whole summer. Can I come home?

Speaker 1 I understand your PTSD.

Speaker 7 Oh, I said that was the worst thing that happened to me that summer. It It was a joke.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I got it. Yeah.
I did too.

Speaker 7 Well, you just said, whatever.

Speaker 1 All right. I know you have PTSD from this, but Hank doesn't think you actually got it.

Speaker 4 I kind of.

Speaker 7 You said this was going to be the worst thing that happened to me this summer.

Speaker 1 I kind of did not.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 9 Okay, whatever.

Speaker 1 Let's do it.

Speaker 1 Who's up first? Hank is.

Speaker 1 Hank.

Speaker 7 Pepperoni.

Speaker 1 Come on, Hank. Good pick.

Speaker 1 Wait, so good pick.

Speaker 4 Don't be a bummer.

Speaker 1 Don't be a bummer. Come on.

Speaker 8 I don't believe.

Speaker 7 I literally will not do this in good faith.

Speaker 8 You just set it up.

Speaker 7 Your friend's been losing Mount Rushmore's. Have I been losing Mount Rushmores? Yes.
So, how, like, I can't. I'm going to go through with good faith.
I'm not going to. I can't.

Speaker 1 But our picks are going to show that we're trying. But, Hank,

Speaker 4 you're not losing Mount Rushmore's season by that much.

Speaker 1 No, you're getting smoked. I'm only four points ahead of you.

Speaker 4 And I lost on Monday's show.

Speaker 1 It's early. There's always a comeback.
All right, who's up second?

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 1 Max.

Speaker 1 I'm second? Yes. Oh, fuck yeah.

Speaker 1 Sausage. Easy.
Good pick. Good pick.
All right.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go double.

Speaker 1 No, it's PFT, right?

Speaker 1 Wait, did I go last last time? No. No, you went first last time.
It was in circle. I'm sorry, Hank.
Wow. I'm sorry.

Speaker 4 I apologize.

Speaker 1 I apologize.

Speaker 4 All right. I'm going to go

Speaker 1 with

Speaker 1 bacon.

Speaker 1 Then I'm going to go. Wait, we're all fucked up.
Yeah, yeah, bacon.

Speaker 4 Bacon. Bacon.

Speaker 1 Bacon.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Hank collapsed.

Speaker 10 Hank definitely thinks something's up.

Speaker 1 Hank has collapsed. So, what's been taking? Pepperoni, sausage, and bacon.

Speaker 1 I want to take double offs. I'm not going to.
I'm joking.

Speaker 1 That was a joke, Hank. That was a joke.

Speaker 4 Hank's having a great time.

Speaker 1 That was a joke.

Speaker 4 Hey, can you at least pretend to be excited about Mount Rushmore's season?

Speaker 1 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 I got a question.

Speaker 1 Does sausage include all sausage or just like classic sausage?

Speaker 4 I think sausage is sausage. Sausage is sausage.

Speaker 1 Is chorizo sausage?

Speaker 4 I think chorizo can be a cheap. Chorizo could be different.

Speaker 1 Okay, so I'll go barbecue chicken and then chorizo are my two picks. Okay.

Speaker 4 My second pick is going to be extra cheese.

Speaker 1 I don't like extra cheese.

Speaker 4 Oh, I love extra cheese.

Speaker 9 I'll take buffalo chicken.

Speaker 1 Okay, nice pick.

Speaker 1 Hank, this is a good draft, Hank.

Speaker 1 How do you think we're throwing this? There's no throwing.

Speaker 1 We're doing this.

Speaker 7 I will do

Speaker 7 peppers and onion.

Speaker 1 We'll give you both. No, we'll give him both.

Speaker 4 No, he has to take two. No, one of the two.

Speaker 1 We're not pandering.

Speaker 4 Either one of the peppers or onion.

Speaker 1 You have to take one or the other.

Speaker 7 All right, I'll do peppers and onion.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Two picks.
Okay, that's good. Two picks.
That's a good pick.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Max,

Speaker 1 it feels like there's a gun at everyone's head right now. We're in a Mexican standoff, but we're actually doing this for real.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no.

Speaker 1 Hank, are you all right? No, it's not.

Speaker 1 I don't think he's all right.

Speaker 4 All right, Max.

Speaker 7 I mean, we all know that Mount Rushmore died four years ago.

Speaker 1 People love Mountain Rushmore's season.

Speaker 10 Okay.

Speaker 10 Some people hate it, but I absolutely love it. I'm going to go mushrooms.

Speaker 1 Ooh, I like them. Yeah, not bad.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go meatball.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 10 That was my other pick. Yeah, meatball, baby.

Speaker 1 Pick it, though.

Speaker 10 We're not allowed to think about two picks?

Speaker 8 I mean, I would have picked all these.

Speaker 10 I'm saying I was thinking between meatball and mushrooms. Got it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 You love meatball.

Speaker 10 I always make meatball. That was the other reason.

Speaker 4 It was on your sub, too. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And it was also on my meat. If it was on my sub, it was on.

Speaker 10 I should have done meatball for

Speaker 4 Rushmore's salads. Meatball.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Great salad.

Speaker 10 Meatball salad is an excellent salad.

Speaker 4 Is that a real thing? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 10 It's an Italian thing. Meatball salad.

Speaker 1 Meatball salad.

Speaker 4 That's the fattest thing you've ever said.

Speaker 10 It's a thing.

Speaker 1 I can't tell you what things are.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 Can I put forth a motion to have Hank smile?

Speaker 1 He won't. Just smile, Hank.
He won't.

Speaker 4 You'll feel better.

Speaker 1 Is a white pie a topping or no? I don't even know what would be the topping.

Speaker 4 Is it a different song?

Speaker 1 We'll give you a regut.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was weird how you said that. It was very horny.

Speaker 1 Say it again.

Speaker 1 No, I'm not saying it again. Okay.

Speaker 1 I do love a white pie. Love a white pie.

Speaker 1 Fuck it. I love it.
I don't care. Pineapple.
I love pineapple on pizza. Yeah.
I fucking love pineapple on pizza. I love pineapple with barbecue chicken on a pizza.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I like pineapple and pizza too. Yeah.

Speaker 7 There will be haters. Pineapple and bacon.

Speaker 1 Pineapple and bacon's great as well.

Speaker 7 That's crazy because that's my favorite pizza.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like, I don't know why.
What happened? At what point was it, like, did it become a thing where people are like, pineapple doesn't belong on pizza?

Speaker 10 I personally don't like pineapple and pizza, but I don't mind people that do.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But it's just like, it's one of those things.

Speaker 10 I don't want to fight someone on it.

Speaker 1 It's kind of like Mayo, when Mayo just got a bad rap for no reason.

Speaker 4 You order, you got to, if you're doing like a big order, get one of them that's got the pineapple on there. Yeah, of course.

Speaker 1 And then I'll go

Speaker 1 with a prosciute. Prosciutto.
Okay. My last pick.

Speaker 4 I'm going to go in a nod to the margarita pizza. Basil.
Yep, good pick. Fresh basil.
Get a little fresh basil on there. Fresh basil, mozzarella, tomato.
That's really all you need.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 6 It's a good pick.

Speaker 10 I'm going to go with a sopra.

Speaker 10 I think I like it better than a pepperoni, and it's kind of similar.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 I don't think I've ever had sopra sat. Oh, it's good.

Speaker 10 It's really good.

Speaker 1 Oh, I forgot one.

Speaker 10 Fuck.

Speaker 9 I have another one that I.

Speaker 1 I forgot one. Oh, I'm so mad at myself.
I'm so mad at myself.

Speaker 9 Can I ask Hole for a recommendation?

Speaker 1 Yeah, his name's Matthew. I don't know if Hole sounds so weird, but I understand.
We do nicknames.

Speaker 7 Should I go meat or or cheese meat

Speaker 1 taco meat you asked him if you should go meat or cheese yeah come on

Speaker 1 he's gonna say meat taco taco meat it's not bad yeah i've tried a taco pizza before that's a good pick that's a good pick i totally forgot

Speaker 1 oh burada's a good one burada's a good one brata would have been much better than taco's a good one thanks yeah thanks matthew oh matthew

Speaker 1 you ruined it would you guys have accepted hot honey yep i was thinking the same thing.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. That was the one I forgot.
Yeah. It's because when you said sopra set, I was like, yes, hot honey.
So damn it.

Speaker 10 That's the exact thing that was going through my head. I was like, that could be like a drizzle.
I don't know if that's necessarily a topping.

Speaker 10 I'll just go with sopra set.

Speaker 1 I'm mad at myself. Hot honey was what I was thinking as well.
I'm mad at myself. All right, what got left off?

Speaker 1 I like, and this is more, you do it with the pursuit, but an egg on the pizza is pretty good. You guys ever get that? Have you ever had that? In the middle? Never had it.
Oh, it's great.

Speaker 1 No, you you don't like it, Matthew? No? That was. I'll get you guys one.

Speaker 1 I order from a place that it's proschut, and there's an egg in the middle, and it's fucking delicious.

Speaker 10 I actually like the pizzas with the proshut and the arugula on top of them as well. So arugula is another one I like.

Speaker 1 Jalapeno could have put that on there.

Speaker 4 Jalapeno on a pizza is pretty good, too. Yeah.

Speaker 10 I hadn't had it until I've been out here, but sausage, like Jardonier is really good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I've never had Jardonier really. Yeah,

Speaker 1 Jardiner, but it's good.

Speaker 10 It's really good.

Speaker 4 If I get like a tavern-style pizza with

Speaker 4 Jardoner,

Speaker 1 probably the fattest thing you can do, but I fucking love it. It's the pizza place in Madison Ian's, which actually they have one.
Demo's is the name of it. It's in Chicago as well, macaroni.

Speaker 1 Yep, we died. I had that in coffee.

Speaker 4 They had that at, what's the name of the pizza buffet place?

Speaker 1 Pizza? Cece's Caesar.

Speaker 4 Cece's. Cece's Pizza Buffet.

Speaker 1 There you go, Matthew.

Speaker 4 Nice job, hole. Tomatoes on the pie.
Sometimes it's pretty good. Yes.
It can be overkill. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, tomatoes, like a margarita. Margarita.

Speaker 4 Yeah, margarita pizza's good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, margarita pizza is good. Salami.

Speaker 4 Trust tree?

Speaker 7 I used to work at a place that had like, it wasn't great pizza, but it was an Italian place with like the oven style thin, and they had a really good like salami and like hot honey pizza. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Or with the trust tree.

Speaker 7 But I haven't ordered it. Like it's not something I would order.

Speaker 4 I want pizza real bad right now. Tell you guys something, being totally honest.
Yeah. I don't mind anchovies.
I don't like them. I don't mind it at all.

Speaker 4 I almost never get a pizza with anchovies on it, but when there's there's like a little bit of anchovies as a treat, they just taste like salty. You just need, you need, you don't taste fishy at all.

Speaker 1 It's just so hard to do that because you just can't, you need like buy-in from like three people. Yeah.

Speaker 4 If I'm like by myself once every couple years, just as a treat, get half of it with anchovies on it. Yeah.

Speaker 10 I had a chicken Caesar slice at my college pizza place. That was good.
It was, it was just like chicken Caesar salad on a pizza, but it was nice.

Speaker 1 One of the biggest pet peeves I have is when you order pizza for a large group and someone's like,

Speaker 1 get a cheese or whatever, cheese, or like, maybe get like a mushroom or something. And then they only have one slice of that, and they eat all the other ones.

Speaker 1 I'll make people, if they ask for something, like, if they asked for an anchovies, I'd be like, you have to eat four slices.

Speaker 4 You better put it in water complicated.

Speaker 1 Like, you have to, you can't, you can't have one anchovy and then go to the pepperoni that we're all eating.

Speaker 7 Darren has ever eaten a full pie by yourself.

Speaker 1 Colony Grill. Yeah.
I don't know if that's full pie. Like, it is the full pizza, but it's thinner.
But yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I've had it.

Speaker 10 What is your favorite, like if you're going and you can get any toppings you want, like what is your customizable pizza order?

Speaker 7 Like right now? Bacon pineapple.

Speaker 4 I'm doing pepperoni, Jardoner, and then I've got hot honey at home that I put on it.

Speaker 1 I go one pepperoni pie,

Speaker 1 one barbecue chicken with like sauteed onions pie,

Speaker 1 one cheese pie. This is all for me.

Speaker 1 That's it. I go pepperoni and then a barbecue chicken with sauteed onions.

Speaker 10 I do sausage, onions, and mushrooms.

Speaker 10 That's my favorite. Solid order.

Speaker 4 Solid order.

Speaker 10 I love mushrooms on pizza, but I know people aren't going to. There's some people that just hate mushrooms.

Speaker 1 No, I think mushrooms belong on pizza. It's all about the saute, too.
Like, it's not, they're not

Speaker 1 eating like, you know, dry mushrooms. Yeah.

Speaker 4 When I was in college, I was a pizza delivery guy for, I think, a full year, full calendar year. I worked at a place called Anthony's Italian Touch, which is a very creepy name for a pizza.

Speaker 1 That is weird.

Speaker 4 And what made it weirder was the guy that ran the place was not Anthony. His name was Nick, but he just called it Anthony's Italian Touch because it sounded more Italian.

Speaker 4 But I had this one customer that would order extra mushrooms, like double mushrooms. That was all that he would get.
And that shit would stink on me. Double mushrooms.

Speaker 4 Double mushrooms, like extra, extra mushrooms. Double mushrooms.
My car would smell so bad.

Speaker 1 What do you guys think about a little pesto? Pesto on the pizza. That's not

Speaker 1 bad. A little change of pace.

Speaker 4 Not bad.

Speaker 1 That's another one where, like, I won't order it if I'm not eating. Like, you have to eat all all the you have to eat a lot of slices though.
You can't be like, I want the pesto pizza.

Speaker 10 Memes keep saying vodka pizza, but I don't think that's a topping. I feel like that's just a sauce.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah, I thought I thought about doing stuff crust, but I don't think that's a topping, right? No, it's a style of pizza.

Speaker 1 No, yeah, that's a style. Matthew, we missed that.
I did read.

Speaker 1 No, I think you covered it. Okay.
I mean, unless you want to start talking, like barbecue sauce and ranch. Well, yeah, barbecue chicken.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but like sauces.

Speaker 4 Just the sauces.

Speaker 1 I do like a little, but yeah, like if you can't get a little barbecue sauce, a little Frank's Red Hot.

Speaker 4 Frank's Red Hot's pretty good.

Speaker 1 Frank's Red Hot goes on everything.

Speaker 10 If it's like shitty pizza, I like a ranch or like a hot sauce, but if it's good pizza, I just like want the pizza by itself.

Speaker 1 By the way, Hank still thinks we're fucking with him. He's just not participating.

Speaker 4 I think what happened is this took Hank back to a dark place.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, there's PTSD.

Speaker 4 It's like trauma involved, and he heard us.

Speaker 8 You're the death of this segment.

Speaker 1 We've had so many good moments. We had Max saying the titty fucking.

Speaker 1 There's been some incredible moments.

Speaker 4 Mr. Positions.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Billy and Jake doing AI Taco Bell orders.

Speaker 1 There's been some great Mount Rushmore moments. I don't know.

Speaker 1 The integrity of

Speaker 9 that chick.

Speaker 1 We haven't broken the integrity since. We broke it one time.
And you still have trust issues. Why wouldn't I? Of course I do.
Because we've done three seasons straight up since then.

Speaker 4 I've watched that video so many times, by the way, of us doing the original Mount Rushmore pizza draft and then Hank being totally surprised whenever he got like his next pick on the board.

Speaker 1 He was so mad at us. Yeah.
So, so mad.

Speaker 1 We're back. This was a good draft.
Come on, Hank.

Speaker 1 Yeah, good times.

Speaker 1 It's a good draft.

Speaker 4 Hank, you won an NBA championship like three weeks ago. Your favorite athlete of all time sucked your dick at his retirement ceremony.

Speaker 4 That's got to, you can't get down in the dumps because of a segment.

Speaker 7 I'm not down in the dumps.

Speaker 1 He's just, he's got, he's got his guard up. Yeah.
He's got his guard up. As I should.
But you are down in the dumps. But we did.
We just pulled this off. Now we can put it to bed.

Speaker 1 Now we can lay it to rest. Pizza toppings are done.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 7 I feel like that's what you, you're setting me up.

Speaker 1 You're trying to set me up. Yeah, I know you are.
This whole time you've been like.

Speaker 7 You're trying to get me to get my guard down and then you come back over the top.

Speaker 1 I'm surprised.

Speaker 7 Because I'm getting smoked in the standing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what are the standings? It's not that bad. Yeah, there's, remember last year, you guys, didn't you guys make a comeback at the end?

Speaker 7 Yeah, Hank. Billy and Jake did.

Speaker 1 Oh, it was Billy and Jake.

Speaker 4 It'd be a real shame if people voted for this Mount Rushmore based on attitude during the Mount Rushmore.

Speaker 10 No, we had a good lead, and then I went on vacation.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. That's right.
So you just suck at Mount Rushmore, Hank.

Speaker 1 That's all it is.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I feel like you always have like two good picks.

Speaker 7 I tried to blame the team. I had the team angle for a while.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 That's kind of like there's nobody left to blame now.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 It's all right. It's a long season.

Speaker 1 It is a long season. Yeah.
We got a lot of Mount Rushmore left. Okay, let's get to our interviews.
We got two great interviews. We have Mike Rabel.
Wait, did we lose last year, Max? Yeah, you lost.

Speaker 1 You had to go to the next street. Yeah, we did the 24-hour stream.
Yeah. Yeah.
It was bad.

Speaker 1 We have Mike Rabel, and then we have an awesome interview with comedian Gary Veter, who has a crazy, crazy story about

Speaker 1 his life with his dad growing up, who's a scam artist. Insane stories.

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Speaker 1 Okay, here he is, Mike Rabel.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very, very special guest.

Speaker 6 One more, very.

Speaker 1 Very, very, very,

Speaker 1 one of our dear friends.

Speaker 1 It is a chill week interview presented by Coors Light and Chevy Silverado. One of our dear friends, recently retired,

Speaker 1 NFL head coach Mike Rabel. You can't fire me.
I quit.

Speaker 1 I was going to say the recently retired, but then I realized you have a job.

Speaker 1 I have a great job. I asked Kevin Stefanski, the coach of the Cleveland Browns, what is Vrabes doing for you? And he said he's a scout team middle linebacker.

Speaker 1 So that's what you're doing for the Browns. Partly.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 Anything they need help with and anything I can do to learn.

Speaker 6 It's been awesome.

Speaker 4 You were actually putting on the pads, right? You were doing like kickoff return.

Speaker 6 Yeah, just helping. You know what I mean? Bubba Ventrones, the special teams coordinator.
Bubba was a rookie when I was with the Patriots.

Speaker 6 And so we would take Bubba and his girlfriend, his wife at the time now, and his girlfriend Katie, you know, we'd take the rookies to dinner or whatever.

Speaker 6 And so Bubba now is a special teams coordinator. So it was an easy transition to help on special teams.
I've played a lot of those positions.

Speaker 6 I've coached them and helped Kevin and Andrew and the Browns and the Haslam family, however I can.

Speaker 1 Wait, you just said whatever I could do to learn? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's actually a pretty crazy, it's cool and also crazy thing to see.

Speaker 1 You're a very good NFL head coach that is in a transition period where you're going to be an NFL head coach again, and you're like, I'm back to learning.

Speaker 6 Well, I think like anything else, you guys look at podcasts. There's a million podcasts.
Well, there's a lot of ways to coach football. There's 31 other teams, head coaches, there's coordinators.

Speaker 6 There's guys that have been other places. Andrew Berry, his personnel staff, how they go through draft prep, how they

Speaker 6 integrate analytics and how they communicate with the coaches and all that stuff that I'm trying to learn and be a part of. And it kind of worked out for them and for me, especially.

Speaker 6 And so that's what I've tried to do.

Speaker 4 That's a super mature way to look at it. When you relate it to podcasting, it's like we should send Hank off to another podcast to learn.
Yeah, we should learn.

Speaker 6 We should send him to politicking. When we were in Ohio State, Urban Meyer was like, whatever Alabama's doing, if they have 50 people in recruiting, we need 51.

Speaker 6 And if they have this, then we need to have one more. Like, that's how he looked at it.
And so you're always trying to figure out what everybody else is doing that's successful and

Speaker 6 try to figure something out.

Speaker 4 So, yeah, you're a consultant for the Browns, right? Is that your official title? Yes. That's an awesome title.

Speaker 6 Coaching and personnel consultant.

Speaker 4 It seems like you do whatever is needed. Or

Speaker 4 are you coming up with your own initiatives? Do you have to be like a self-starter?

Speaker 6 I think there's a lot of leeway there. I think

Speaker 6 the first thing I want to do is help Kevin wherever I can. I've got a lot of respect for him.
I think he's done an unbelievable job:

Speaker 6 help and support him wherever if he has questions or he wants to bounce something off of me. And then I thought it was a great idea.

Speaker 6 He's like, we have a pretty new offensive staff, you know, a lot of guys that have transitioned on to other places. And now we've hired some really good coaches that are new to Cleveland.

Speaker 6 Why don't you hang out on the offensive side and give a defensive perspective?

Speaker 6 Tommy Rees,

Speaker 6 former quarterback in Notre Dame, Alabama coordinator, and he's coaching tight ends. So he's like, why don't you work with Tommy and the tight ends? And so I played a little tight end in my day.

Speaker 4 Ooh, maybe Miles Garrett at tight end this year?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, you can't stop that. It's July.
You can't stop it.

Speaker 6 So, anyways, that's been really cool to have that perspective on offense, which, you know, having six years as a head coach in Tennessee,

Speaker 6 there's plenty of offense that I was doing and and understood and communicated with. So that's what I've been doing.

Speaker 1 So do you think Stefanski is going to have you address the team in the Mike Vrabel

Speaker 1 situational spot this year during the season?

Speaker 6 Potentially. I mean, we've discussed it.
I've put, you know, I put tapes together for Kevin and things that they've done, things that we've done, things that people around the league have done.

Speaker 6 I showed it to him. He's got a...
great group there. And so we sat you know a few mornings and went through the tape.
And

Speaker 6 what you try to do situationally is you try to take all these clips and you try to, you know, consolidate it down so that you can show the team, you can show the quarterback, so that everybody sees it through the same set of eyes.

Speaker 6 They're not going to be able to watch 3,000 clips in the last 45 seconds of the first half and the last 45 seconds of the game. So you're like, okay, that's a good one.

Speaker 6 And then you come up with this cut up and then you just, you know, show it to the coach and then he decides how he want to do things.

Speaker 1 Do you know what I'm talking about, though, in terms of the actual situational spot? I knew.

Speaker 4 I knew where you were going with this.

Speaker 6 There's a lot of people.

Speaker 6 Just tell me what situation.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's the Tennessee Titans are playing a Sunday night or Monday night game and they're like seven to ten point underdogs and everyone thinks they're going to get absolutely killed and then Mike Vrabel comes in and he wins the game.

Speaker 6 We did that quite a few times. Yeah, that seemed like every game we won pretty much seemed like that.

Speaker 1 Anytime the Titans were like consensus written off as they got no chance in this game, you guys would win out.

Speaker 1 decent money line yeah very good right so like that's the that's i don't know i don't know how you did it i it really was more than just a couple times where it came it became something that i almost expected where it's like if they're if their backs are against the wall and people think that they got no chance rave's going to figure out a way to get this team to play and play their best football here's what i say you guys have a team you guys have an operation You're very good at what you do.

Speaker 6 Early on, maybe a few years ago, you're like, we're going to make this switch and it's going to work

Speaker 6 and our shit's going to take off and

Speaker 6 we're going to nail this. We're going to figure it out.
Whatever that was, whether that was with Dave or you guys.

Speaker 6 And so early on, I forget what it was, 2018, we said, it was like, I think it was the second game. We were playing Houston and they were rolling.
They were good. Deshaun was down there.

Speaker 6 We had nobody. We had everybody got hurt in Miami.
We had like our practice squad tackles. Marcus got hurt.
And it was like, how are we going to win? Well, we faked a punt.

Speaker 6 We threw a punt to Bayard for a touchdown. I was like, we're going to stand in the huddle for 38 seconds.
We're going to run to the line, snap it. We're going to go wildcat with Derek.

Speaker 6 I mean, we did all. And I was like, the night before the game, I was like 40, 17, and two.
I was like, we got to run the ball 40 times. We need to hold him to 17 points or less.

Speaker 6 And we need to get two turnovers. And we won 20 to 17.
Yeah. And it was like, that was the message.

Speaker 6 So when you explain these things, then you're like, this is how we're going to win. It may not be the same every week.
It may not always work, but this was the plan.

Speaker 6 And I think if you can do those things and then the people around you see it work, they're like, okay, well, we'll give it another try.

Speaker 1 We'll see how it goes. So you had a specific like plan like that when you would go into a game where maybe your team didn't match up 100%, like talent for talent.

Speaker 1 You know, if you play this game 100 times, you're not going to win 50% of them. But you had that plan of, hey, if we can muck it up and do these three things.

Speaker 6 Reserve the right to punt. We played the 49ers, and, you know, we came out.
I said, reserve the right to punt. It was back and forth.
We took care of the ball. We had a huge turnover in the red zone.

Speaker 6 And

Speaker 6 then Jimmy came out. I think it was the first play of the second half.
And we had gone from playing all zone. We switched it up.
We played man.

Speaker 6 He kind of chunked the ball. Monty Hooker intercepted it and we ended up beating him.
And they were, you know.

Speaker 1 That was a Thursday night game right around Christmas. Yeah.
I remember that. That was one of the ones, yeah.
Where it was like in the Rams Sunday night game. Remember that one? That one.

Speaker 4 Was there a Dolphins one too?

Speaker 6 The Dolphins one was last year. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. There's so many where it's like you just go in and everyone's like, Titans got no chance.

Speaker 4 But you know that, and whatever team hires Mike Vrabel next, his head coach is getting like an entire season's worth of Mike Vrabel being counted out.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I think the 49ers were wearing all whites in that game.
Yeah. I actually gave you a chance after I saw those.
Those didn't make any sense. Yeah.

Speaker 6 I mean, I don't know necessarily being counted out, but I just think that that

Speaker 6 there's a mentality that,

Speaker 6 you know, I mean, these guys were here for a reason.

Speaker 6 Everybody, I think each week you just try to explain to everybody that you have to prepare as a starter. And I think it kept guys engaged.

Speaker 6 I think when they saw that, you know, we play different guys in different places and whatever we try to do, you just try to keep them engaged.

Speaker 6 And, you know, hopefully I get an opportunity again and would love to try to do it.

Speaker 4 I think it's going to work out for you, for sure. I mean, this offseason, I felt like you were one of the top coaching prospects out out there.
It's like

Speaker 4 I was going through my own personal coaching search at the time, and I was like, Yeah, Mike Vrabel would love to have Mike Vrabel in DC.

Speaker 6 It's a lot of it is about fit. You know, I think these interviews get overblown.
I think that they go through a process. I think that

Speaker 4 you were too big and intimidated.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you are too physically big.

Speaker 6 It's a big man's game.

Speaker 4 You scared away a lot of owners.

Speaker 6 It's a big man's game, boys.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 6 I mean, they just keep getting bigger and bigger. And so,

Speaker 6 you know,

Speaker 6 I didn't really necessarily, I try to do my job the best that I could for that organization.

Speaker 6 But these interviews are interesting, right? You try to make a connection early on, right? We have a connection. I've known you guys,

Speaker 6 you know, thought I had a great interview in LA, you know, for the Chargers. And, you know, Harbaugh decided to come back to the NFL.
And that's what,

Speaker 6 you know, Mr. Spanos and John Spanos communicated with me.
And I respect them for that. They literally called me on a, you know,

Speaker 1 speaker.

Speaker 6 No, they called me. And

Speaker 6 that rarely happens to where, you know, if an owner is going to interview you and then go in a different direction, that they'll personally call you.

Speaker 6 And they're like, you know, second place isn't going to give you much. But I wanted to tell you that, you know, we just had an opportunity to hire, you know,

Speaker 6 John Harbaugh. So

Speaker 6 that's how it goes. Or Jim Harbaugh.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I was actually surprised every time by

Speaker 1 Jim and and John. Fucking impossible.

Speaker 6 Every single day.

Speaker 4 Just say Harbs.

Speaker 1 I know them so well, and I just always do that.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I was actually shocked that you were fired this year because it felt like you were a good thing, a stable thing that the Titans had going.

Speaker 4 Your teams always played hard, and I remember it was during the season.

Speaker 6 I will say that was, I was always proud of that. I appreciated that.
As a young coach,

Speaker 6 there was a veteran coach at Ohio State. He came in, Dave Adolph, and he was a defensive coordinator with the Raiders, and

Speaker 6 he was a defensive coordinator for al davis and that's not an easy thing and he and he was helping out oh state when i just started there and he came in and he uh tressel had brought him in to kind of just you know watch consult hang out and good football coach and he's since passed away but he said man your guys play hard yeah and i that didn't realize how good that felt when he said your guys play hard and so i always try to carry that through um

Speaker 6 You know, and I figured it was the contract that you made for the team, with the team. Yeah.

Speaker 6 You individually, that's the contract that you make with the football team is that you're going to play your ass on.

Speaker 1 But that, I really do think the way, if you can get your team to play hard in the NFL, I think it actually is worth, like, consistently, week in and week out, I do think it's worth a win or two at the end of the season.

Speaker 6 Yeah, and then if you're worth a broke one, then you got a chance to win. You know what I mean? It's like if you play hard, you're going to be in the game.
Right.

Speaker 1 There are teams that you can see, like, oh, they're just not, they don't bring it to the other team at week in and week out. But when you, when Vrabel coaches a team, that happens.

Speaker 1 Well, let's let's hope so. Yeah.
We should hire him right now.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you want to coach our podcast?

Speaker 1 We don't have a headache. You know, you consultant.

Speaker 6 I mean, if I can't beat one of these guys,

Speaker 1 you can definitely.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Name your time. I had to hit record on the on the camera yesterday.

Speaker 6 The coffee. Yeah.
Did we get the coffee? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, Hank, you know, he's slow. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, so, all right, so would you ever coach college?

Speaker 6 I don't, I'm not going to say never,

Speaker 6 but it's certainly turned into a different game. You know, I talked to,

Speaker 6 you Coach Fickle.

Speaker 6 You got to be a huge fan. Are you going to go up there and have him on or no?

Speaker 1 We've had him on. Oh, good.
But I saw him when I was up there in the spring and I'm going to go up and talk about it.

Speaker 6 Are you contributing to the NIL?

Speaker 1 I've been telling them.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you the answer. I've told them, find me a really good player, and I will do a Stella Blue Coffee NIL deal that's bigger than like just getting away with it.
I hope you're hearing this.

Speaker 1 I told the basketball team, I told the football team, but figure out, like, you bring the player to me and be like, hey, we're this close to this guy. Can you help? And I'm in.
And

Speaker 6 you bring in the closer.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm not going to just write like a 10 grand.

Speaker 6 You don't trust.

Speaker 1 I'm just not going to write a 10 grand check and just be like, oh, let's see where it goes. 10 grand is not going to get you a player.

Speaker 6 Exactly.

Speaker 1 You're not going to get a player for 10 grand. I want to actually have like an impact where like, if you just give money to like a collective, it's like, where's this going to go?

Speaker 6 It's going to go to the players.

Speaker 1 But anyways,

Speaker 1 I want to find out. I don't know.

Speaker 6 Like, Luke and I I have had conversations about this, about, you know, how do you want to structure that money that you have that you're allocated for each team, your salary cap.

Speaker 6 Is it going to be this group of incoming freshmen that I would consider rookies that you're not really sure on? And what's the hit rate?

Speaker 6 Are you going to try to develop your own team and then re-sign your own guys? Or are you going to live in the portal and that's free agency? And again, those are six-month rentals.

Speaker 6 Guys are coming in and then they're out.

Speaker 4 There's a lot about coaching college football that's not about coaching football at all.

Speaker 4 And I feel like it would be, you could have more success, I think, translating from the NFL to college than you would going the other way around.

Speaker 4 But also at the same time, if you're an NFL coach, I don't see why that would appeal to you. You have to work so much more.

Speaker 6 Well, there is a lot of,

Speaker 6 you know, in the summer, you know, I mean, you'll be sitting at baseball games or you'll be sitting at things and kids will call and say, hey, coach, I'm 30 minutes from campus. And you're like,

Speaker 6 I mean, there was a guy from Georgia.

Speaker 6 I was at one of the kids' baseball games when I was coaching at Ohio State, and he was making the Notre Dame, the Michigan, Ohio State loop like in the summer.

Speaker 6 And he went to high school like an hour from Georgia, and I'm thinking, there isn't a chance in hell this guy's going to be in Ohio State, but I've got to come in there, open up the stadium, go box.

Speaker 6 And I'm thinking, just go on down there and commit to Georgia. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And yeah, it's chasing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right, of course. He did.
So do you think Coach Fickles,

Speaker 1 I mean, I'm very bullish on this season. I think it's a tough schedule.
But how do you think, I think going into his first first year at Wisconsin. And again,

Speaker 6 maybe some of

Speaker 6 Bull, Bear, like, can we clean up that? Like, you mean that you're excited about the bull is good?

Speaker 1 Bear is strong.

Speaker 1 Bull is strong.

Speaker 6 Well, Bears are excited. I mean, have you seen the Bears out here?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm bullish, means I'm very excited, and I'm like by the Luke Fickle stuff.

Speaker 4 It gets very complicated when he's talking about Chicago because he's always bullish on the Bears.

Speaker 1 Bullish on the Bears. Yeah, bearish on the Bears.
I can see that that's true. That is true.

Speaker 1 That's true. All right, so I am high on Luke Fickle.
Good. I think the first year going to Wisconsin probably were, it was maybe a more of a match.

Speaker 4 He was my host at Ohio State.

Speaker 6 He was there as a freshman, and I came in in December, and he was waiting for me when I got there at the hotel. And

Speaker 6 the rest was history. How could you guys best friends?

Speaker 1 Were you guys like best friends?

Speaker 6 It was amazing how well his ID worked for me when I was 19 years old.

Speaker 1 Who would win in a fight right now? Fight? I'll beat his ass. I mean, he only lost once.

Speaker 6 This is not a sanctioned wrestling event.

Speaker 1 He only lost once as a high school wrestler, right?

Speaker 6 I think he lost

Speaker 1 three times as a freshman.

Speaker 6 He was an unbelievable wrestler.

Speaker 1 I thought he only lost once his entire career.

Speaker 6 I think he lost three. Because I went to a really, really good high school wrestling program.
I was a basketball player. I was too athletic to wrestle.
But

Speaker 6 I remember, and

Speaker 6 we would end up winning the national championship. So all my buddies were wrestlers and they played football.

Speaker 6 And so Luke, I think, lost three as a freshman and then went undefeated three straight years. Crazy.

Speaker 1 So he kicked your ass.

Speaker 6 Yeah. No, no, no.
Like in a sanctioned, like wrestling match?

Speaker 1 Absolutely. Yeah, but if you guys fought right now,

Speaker 1 he would wrestle you to the ground.

Speaker 6 I do not believe if it was a street fight that I would lose to Luke.

Speaker 1 I think he would, I think he'd have you

Speaker 1 splatle you.

Speaker 4 He'd splatle your ass. You're way bigger than him right now, right?

Speaker 6 I'm intimidating. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You are bigger than him. He's lost a little weight.
But all right, so back to the Luke Fickle question.

Speaker 1 I think the first year at Wisconsin, maybe a little bit more of a situation he had to clean up than he realized. How do you think he's feeling going into your time?

Speaker 6 I am always high on Luke. I wanted

Speaker 6 Luke recruited my oldest son, Tyler, when he played in Houston and he recruited him at Cincinnati.

Speaker 6 Jen and I, you know, obviously we don't have a say. My wife and I thought it would be amazing because what he was doing with that program.
Right.

Speaker 6 And then Tyler's like, you know, Dad, I've known Uncle Luke since the day I was born.

Speaker 1 You put him in a tough spot.

Speaker 6 Yeah. And it was like, yeah, when you look at it like that, you make the decision that's best for you.
Now you got to call him.

Speaker 1 And Tyler was like, fuck.

Speaker 6 He's like, I got to tell him. I got to call him.
I said, yeah, that's part of the deal. He goes, I figured you were going to say that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he should have just gone to Cincinnati instead of

Speaker 1 having to call him.

Speaker 6 He's like, look, you're pissed at me because Tyler's not coming. I was like, don't be pissed at me.
Right, right.

Speaker 1 Hank, you got Vrabe's coffee? Where'd he go?

Speaker 1 Hank's just

Speaker 4 off surfing the internet in the other room.

Speaker 4 So speaking of Hank, his favorite person in the world, Tom Brady, I don't know if you saw, but he went to Tom's Jersey retirement.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Tom called him out by name.
Yep.

Speaker 1 Brady 4.

Speaker 4 We also watched the roast of Tom Brady, which you were not at. I was thinking that you were going to be there.

Speaker 6 I mean, all the good stuff. I mean, I was

Speaker 6 too much low-hanging fruit on those jokes. I thought there was

Speaker 1 literally, yeah, I've done much more. Yeah, I mean, it does feel like

Speaker 1 you maybe spent whatever it was the first five years of his career roasting him every single day.

Speaker 6 Yeah, no, we had those were great. Those were fun.
The roast was funny.

Speaker 6 The funny parts, I mean, I didn't sit there for three hours, but

Speaker 6 there was some good stuff. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Do you want to, what if Hank was Tom Brady? Would you roast Tom Brady?

Speaker 4 Like, what would you have said at the roast?

Speaker 9 Oh, I,

Speaker 6 there's a lot of stuff left in there, I think, that we could have done, but I mean, it was a lot, again, the, the, the,

Speaker 6 I, I struggle with,

Speaker 6 I like to age gracefully. I got wrinkles, I got crow's feet, I got scars.

Speaker 6 There's just a polish and a shine on that face of his right now.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I think everybody in this room, we all age gracefully. Exactly.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we just embrace it, you know? He's kind of like an anime versus

Speaker 1 Brady.

Speaker 1 It's an Instagram filter of himself.

Speaker 6 I was with, like, we had a family over the summer come and hang out with us a couple days. And we went out on a boat.
And

Speaker 6 we got a 16-year-old son and a 12-year-old daughter. And the daughter wanted to get like pictures of her like jumping off the boat.

Speaker 6 And like, she's like, as she's in there, she's like, put it in portrait mode.

Speaker 1 And I'm like,

Speaker 1 what is portrait mode? Yeah, I mean,

Speaker 1 the game has changed.

Speaker 1 Everybody's got to go on Instagram or TikTok.

Speaker 1 Speaking of which,

Speaker 1 are you surprised that

Speaker 1 Bill didn't get a job?

Speaker 1 That was a little surprising to me. It felt like he would have.

Speaker 1 Yeah, again, there's

Speaker 6 a connection. Right.
You know what I mean, you come in, you sit down.

Speaker 6 Some organizations have eight to ten people there, some have uh just a few, and uh, you have to sit down there, and they have to, you know, I'm not, I don't think many people know Bill.

Speaker 6 I mean, he's been in New England forever.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 6 so I don't know how those interactions went, but there's certainly a connection that has to be made.

Speaker 6 It's not just, you know, they have to see and say, this is the person that's going to lead our team to a championship. Not that he did it in New England and it's just diagnatically going to work.

Speaker 6 So there's a lot of fit to it, having done it.

Speaker 6 There's a lot of fit with the pieces that are around you, with ownership, the support, the communication, the general manager, the personnel people, however that works.

Speaker 6 And so, you know, maybe that wasn't the right fit.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I think there's a chance also that he gets into media and he either loves doing media or he loves. the time away from football and kind of leans into it and doesn't come back.

Speaker 6 Well, I think there's just so much knowledge there and the way that he can articulate it and he explains it. And those are, when I watched him briefly,

Speaker 6 you know, in those media opportunities,

Speaker 6 that's what we felt like, you know, me and Teddy and Willie and Tom, and on and on and Seymour and everybody that we played with and Rodney. And it was just,

Speaker 6 that's kind of what we got in a team meeting: this

Speaker 1 overall

Speaker 6 history of football, understanding of who we're playing, how we have to win,

Speaker 6 just the intricacies of that. And I think you saw some of that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I mean, he was great on the draft night stuff. It's, yeah, I just, I was shocked.
We'll see. You're right.

Speaker 1 The fit is always, you know, the connection, the human connection with the owner and the coach. But that just feels like maybe owners are intimidated too, where it's like a guy who has that.

Speaker 1 legend behind him and the amount of Super Bowl rings, he is going to command a lot of eyeballs and kind of take a lot of attention in your organization yeah and sometimes you need that though sometimes somebody's got to stand up there and take the bullets yeah and uh

Speaker 6 sometimes that's a good thing did you um yeah did you think the uh apple tv documentary was uh what did you what were your thoughts i didn't watch it i did they came in they interviewed me i said um

Speaker 6 you know, I can be available,

Speaker 6 you know, for an hour or two in the summer right before training camp or something.

Speaker 6 You know, they came in, and I didn't really,

Speaker 6 again, I was in a different position. I was coaching, right? I was going to play against coach against Bill.
I wasn't going to play, hell,

Speaker 6 coach against Bill.

Speaker 6 So I didn't really like catch much of the undertone of the hit piece.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 6 You know, I didn't watch it.

Speaker 6 I talked to some big, big Patriot fans, and they're like, if they spent 10 minutes on a team that won 23 games or four games in a row in the National Football League, then it wasn't a a very good documentary.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, your team, Scott, they basically

Speaker 1 showed the first Super Bowl. And they won again.

Speaker 1 And they won again. And also, they won two more.
Okay, now Aaron Hernandez.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 I felt like the roast thing, man, that was probably what bothered me the most was like the whole idea of about a roast.

Speaker 6 Like if we went out or we were hanging out, like you'd make fun of me, I'd make fun of you, or

Speaker 6 you'd make fun.

Speaker 6 Like you're there to like, you get made fun of, and then you get to stand back up and then make fun of somebody else This poor bastard he can't even defend himself.

Speaker 6 Yeah, like he's in the he's in the grave. It's like we can yeah, you can't really like there's no swinging back from that standpoint.
That was I was some of those jokes. I was like,

Speaker 6 but there were some funny moments in that roast. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah. So you obviously still have you know close ties with the Patriots always will.
Was there any part of the Ring of Honor ceremony that maybe rubbed the Titans the wrong way?

Speaker 4 Where it's like, does he love them more than he loves us?

Speaker 1 He's a person.

Speaker 6 I certainly hope not. You know, I certainly hope not.

Speaker 6 You know, when you, when you,

Speaker 6 there was going to be some uniqueness to this. I don't know,

Speaker 6 you know, I can't think off the top of my head. I'm sure there's coaches that did something, but not currently where I went back.
It was the bye week and everything was structured. It was hopeful that

Speaker 6 our bye week in Tennessee was Patriots home game. And it was, and it did, and it worked out.
And as soon as it came out, you know, you call the owner, you call the team president,

Speaker 6 you know, because you can kind of see like this is how it's going to be. It's, it, it's going to be a big deal.
You know what I mean? It's like, I played there, you're going back there.

Speaker 6 You're going to put a red jacket on. You're going to stand with Mr.
Kraft for four hours. There's going to be

Speaker 6 that, you're going to sit in the box next to him and you're going to watch the game and you're going to have a conversation.

Speaker 6 And all these things are going to be caught on television. Right.
But like

Speaker 6 my that didn't affect my desire to be in Tennessee.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 6 That's how it goes. Like you go back there and it was amazing.
And the conversation that I had with the fans was, don't be frustrated about this season. Like, look up there and look and see.

Speaker 6 Like, when teams come in, like, they stare at those banners. Like, I remember going back there in 2020 and the 19 season and telling the players, like, you're going to see those banners.

Speaker 6 And those aren't, you know what I mean? You don't get caught looking at the pinstripes, boys. Like, those things are amazing and what they've done.

Speaker 6 And yeah, they were 19 and three in the month of January in the playoffs. Like it's going to be a tall task, but we're up for it.
And I'm going to tell you how we're going to win.

Speaker 6 But also a lot of teams go in there and they stare at those banners. And I wanted to explain that to the fans.

Speaker 6 Like it's not like you don't walk in NFL stadiums and see the entire end zone like with AFC

Speaker 6 Central Division champion banners.

Speaker 1 Like these are Super Bowl banners.

Speaker 6 These are Lombardi trophies. These aren't like division banners.
banners.

Speaker 4 That was a great game, by the way, where you stole time from Belichick. You just time traveled.

Speaker 1 Did he ever, yeah, did he ever say, like, hey, Touche? Like, good job, Braves. No,

Speaker 6 it's different. Like, I mean, Bill and I, I mean, we have a, I would, I think, a great relationship,

Speaker 6 but it's, it's different, right? It was a player coach. Now it's coach-coach, and we're, you know, we were competing against each other, and now we're, you know,

Speaker 6 up

Speaker 6 hopefully potentially for some of the same opportunities if it presents itself. And so, we never really talked about that situation or anything else.
And it's kind of like understood.

Speaker 6 Everybody, these games are all taped, guys.

Speaker 6 Somebody comes up with an idea, and then somebody tries to do the same thing.

Speaker 4 Somebody did it like perfectly.

Speaker 1 That's the point in the perfect moment.

Speaker 6 Yeah, it was good. And again, my favorite thing.

Speaker 1 You had that smirk on your face.

Speaker 6 I did not want to smirk. I did.

Speaker 1 I swear to God. You definitely had a a little smirk.

Speaker 6 But my guy Stretch up in the box, who's with the Rams now, he's going to help the Rams, John Stryker, stretch. He's like my personal assistant, game management.

Speaker 6 He was doing a lot for us, and now he's with the Rams. But he was in my ear, and he could watch on the TV copy.
And he is like, he is steaming.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Like, stop. Stop telling me this.

Speaker 6 Because I could not, I didn't want to

Speaker 1 smirk.

Speaker 1 Explain the situation, the loophole that

Speaker 1 you took advantage of.

Speaker 6 Yeah, outside of five minutes, any defensive penalty, they would just wind. Right.
Right, the clock. They would just take the yardage off and then put 25 seconds back and start the clock.

Speaker 6 So you could take it down,

Speaker 6 you could fall start, or you could delay a game, then you can fall start, then you can delay a game again.

Speaker 6 If you're punting from the 36-yard line or 35-yard line, you don't want to attempt a long kick in the weather or whatever it may be.

Speaker 6 What's the difference for these punters nowadays between the 40 and the

Speaker 6 plus 40 and the minus 45? They're so good. They're so specialized.
They'll just, you know, instead of kicking an end over end, you know, they'll just kick it in the corner and kick it out of bounds.

Speaker 6 So the yardage really didn't matter. It was about taking the time off and figuring that.
try to give Tom Brady less opportunities or if we get a stop, then they would have less time.

Speaker 6 We ended up stopping them and then they had eight seconds.

Speaker 1 And there's nothing the other team could do. They're sitting there.

Speaker 6 They can sit over there and yell at the officials. And the officials are like, if you do it again, it's going to be this, this.
And I said, you know, I'm like, the guy jumped off sides.

Speaker 6 Like, the guy flinched. I don't know what to tell you.

Speaker 1 Like, geez, the stress you're yelling at me.

Speaker 6 Like, I know the rules. It's right there.

Speaker 1 And you've done it.

Speaker 6 You know, just tell me what the rules are, and we'll play by them.

Speaker 6 We'll do the best that we can. So then the next year they said, any penalty, the clock stops.
Any offensive penalty, the clock stops.

Speaker 4 That's kind of an honor to get a rule change because of something that you did.

Speaker 6 I had one as a player too.

Speaker 1 What was that?

Speaker 6 So it was the old like fake timeout because the rule is you can't call two consecutive timeouts.

Speaker 4 You pump fake the timeout?

Speaker 6 I pump fake the timeout.

Speaker 6 So we would do this on like the field goal block. And

Speaker 6 because this is back when you could push. So Teddy and I would literally stand with our hands on Seymour's ass and Ty Warren and Ty Warren's ass.

Speaker 6 And we would, as soon as the ball was snapped, you could push and it was like, it would just be a tidal wave and the line would go back and everybody try to block. And then you can't push anymore.

Speaker 6 Right. So we would like, I used to kick her, we'd call the old timeout, and then I would stand up and I'd be like, timeout, timeout, timeout, knowing that the official wouldn't give it to me.

Speaker 6 And then the tight end who had his hand down, he would like think it was a timeout. So he'd pick his hand up.
I'd go, that's a false start. And they would move him back five yards

Speaker 6 because the guy thought, oh, it's going to be another timeout. I said, watch, this guy's going to pick his hand up.
I'd be like, timeout, time out. And he would like, and I'm like, false start.

Speaker 6 And it's like, I guess he's right.

Speaker 1 And we got to throw it.

Speaker 6 So then they're like, if you do that, then that's the delay game. Yeah, that's you anymore.

Speaker 6 But we did that a couple times back in New England.

Speaker 4 You'd also just take a guy sometimes. I think it was on punt, maybe punt return.
You would just take a guy on the sidelines and be like, hey, go run out on the field. Get 12 men for us real quick.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 6 that is a, that was a clock thing, and it wasn't necessarily punt return.

Speaker 6 I don't want to get too far into the weeds on that one because that's actually a pretty good one.

Speaker 1 Oh, wait, you got to keep that one. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Yeah, for sake of, you know, I mean, you're down in a game. Let's say you're down in a game, right? So now you're trying to conserve time.
There's two things.

Speaker 6 You want to consume time or conserve time. If you're down, you obviously want to conserve.

Speaker 6 And they get a long gain on first down, right? So now it's second and one. Do you want to waste the time out? What's the probability that they gain a yard?

Speaker 1 Give them a first down.

Speaker 6 Right. So you're kind of just resetting the price.

Speaker 6 Because again, it's not about the yards. It's about the time.

Speaker 6 So you kind of run a guy out there and, you know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because the worst that could happen is they get like a gain of no yards on the second down and then get a first down on third down, then a gain down. And then you're fucked.

Speaker 4 Have you ever read up on, I think it was Buddy Ryan's Polish goal line defense? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You ever heard this one? No. Oh, yeah.
I'm trying to get away with that. I remember I played with some of my

Speaker 6 first coach in New England was Rob Ryan.

Speaker 6 And he'd tell Buddy Ryan stories. He didn't tell this one.

Speaker 4 You put 14 guys on the field on defense or like 13 guys on the field.

Speaker 1 It is 12 or yeah, yeah, it's 12 or 13 hits.

Speaker 6 What difference does it make if you're going to turn back? 12 is good. 13's got to be better.

Speaker 1 But 12, it's harder. Sometimes the ref will miss 12, right?

Speaker 6 No. And, well, I mean, not the NFL refs.

Speaker 1 No, they miss it. And if you get a penalty, it's half the distance.
So you go a centimeter.

Speaker 4 And then if there's like six seconds left, then they can, some of those seconds burn off, maybe. Yeah.
And so then now they only have one run time down.

Speaker 6 And you might be able to get a penalty. Yeah, more like the hacker shack where, you know, there's six seconds and you think it's the last play.
Usually it's the half.

Speaker 6 But a lot of these teams now with the analytic, you know, I mean, they're going for it where it used to be a field goal. They would just take the field goal.

Speaker 6 Now, you know, the untime down, the ball's on the half-yard line.

Speaker 4 Most teams will go for it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you've, you've, I mean, are you, I feel like you would go for it a relative like you'd play the game of, hey, this makes sense. You went for it.
This actually was, I mean, you know, this.

Speaker 1 Will Compton's a fucking moron.

Speaker 6 He's got like rocks in his brains.

Speaker 1 We had the whole debate about Dan Campbell, and he was like, you can't go for two.

Speaker 1 You got to kick the extra point. You got to kick the field goal.
I was like, your coach, Mike Vrabel, who from the outside, people would be like old school, doesn't like analytics.

Speaker 1 He did this against the Dolphins on the Monday night game where they're down 14 and you go for two after scoring a touchdown. He did it.
That is what that is playing the percentages.

Speaker 6 He is showing you that you can adjust, and will just didn't understand yeah i i it makes sense when you look at it that if overtime is a coin flip right right you try to avoid the coin flip right and you're just trying to put the numbers give yourself a best chance to win it in regulation and

Speaker 6 you know you can debate whether you want to do that from you know the the eight-yard line i i don't know what the numbers

Speaker 1 yeah those kind of things

Speaker 6 those i think the odds start to go down yeah but you know, that's the whole idea and the mentality. Seeing a lot of these teams, you know, just

Speaker 6 being able to go for it more when you cross the 50-yard line. Yep.
And a lot of those things inside the two or three-yard line, going for it on fourth down,

Speaker 6 these things are all very important. And how you combine those numbers is critical.
Just like

Speaker 6 when you talk about analytics and drafting players, right? Height, weight, speed,

Speaker 6 different scores that they put together based on the testing, arm length,

Speaker 6 you know, how you weight things, what positions may take in

Speaker 6 analytics, you know, to more

Speaker 6 seriously than other positions would, right? Like, maybe not need to use the analytics so much in this position, but historically, height, weight, speed

Speaker 6 has transferred, translated pretty well in these positions.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, maybe this is what you should do for your next when you get to the next coaching cycle that you're trying to get hired. You bring Will with you and you sit him down.

Speaker 1 You're like, watch, I'm going to teach him something basic.

Speaker 4 That's risky, though, because you might not pick up. Or you just

Speaker 6 bring a monkey in there to watch him wipe his ass before I'd interview Will.

Speaker 4 What you do is you just have Will and you debate Will and you show how much if you bring Will, then Taylor's right there.

Speaker 6 You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 And they got like seven JPs.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and they got a bus, which is a great idea that they had to do a podcast on a coach.

Speaker 1 Well, I love Will, but he, I literally

Speaker 1 fight him.

Speaker 1 I wanted to fight him on the analytics thing because I was like,

Speaker 1 you just don't understand the simple math. How'd the Beer Olympics go?

Speaker 4 That was fantastic. I'm still hungover.

Speaker 1 It was a lot. Puke and rally? Well, they kicked me out.
So if you puke you out. I was like, I can still play.
Put me back in, coach. It was like a kid.
You come past the current past protocol.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they took my helmet. I was like, I want to kill you.
You get past the protocol.

Speaker 4 You took Piccat to the tent, and they were like, he's not coming out of this tent. I actually threw up after the very first time.

Speaker 6 Did they let you compete as an individual?

Speaker 4 I was very sneaky about it. So I just.
TFT threw up right away. Yeah, so I chugged three beers and then just calmly walked around the corner, puked, and came back and started drinking again.

Speaker 4 Good to go. They didn't see that.
The cameras weren't on me.

Speaker 1 They saw mine because mine was at the end of the day and it was after all day. And I'm thirsty.

Speaker 6 So did you guys show up in one of those like party buses?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
And it was, I mean, it was fun with the boys. Like, those guys are the best.
All the guys that were there.

Speaker 1 The not fun part is being 39 years old and waking up with like crippling hangover anxiety and being like, what the fuck am I doing? I just want to go home. That part wasn't fun.

Speaker 1 But everything else was great.

Speaker 6 Who won?

Speaker 4 Will and Taylor. So they, yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, can we? Yeah, I know we can bleep it. I mean, I bleep that out.
Jimmy Tatra went on Rich Eisen and said who won. Oh, he did? Yeah.

Speaker 4 So they invited everybody to Nashville to win. Yeah.
That was basically it.

Speaker 4 The last game of Beer Pong took, I think, an hour and a half.

Speaker 1 It was insane. He was playing David Bactiari and they just, none of them could see.

Speaker 1 Will and Taylor beat our asses in the pool because i started a rumor that they were drinking fake beer and everyone in the whole house like kept on coming up to them like are you drinking non-alcoholic beer and so uh yeah they kicked our asses they like almost drowned hank i nooggied the shit out of tail you should come i've been invited uh i didn't think that was the best place for me

Speaker 1 probably not you should come is just security Just beat the fuck out of me.

Speaker 6 God, it looked, it looked fun. It looked like carnage.

Speaker 1 It was a lot of fun. It's like, there's something about just hanging out with the guys, playing games all day, getting drunk.
It's just, it's fun.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's out there throwing a ball around with the boys. Right, it's just fun.
Like, there's nothing like there. Yeah, there's moments.

Speaker 1 I think around four o'clock, I was like, I'd pay a fucking million dollars to be in my basement right now, but still. Just get me out of here.

Speaker 6 You like try looking for the Irish ass.

Speaker 1 We go like that. Yeah, snap my fingers.

Speaker 6 Like the old Mountain Dew slipperoo.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 So me and Big Cat never had a chance to win. No.
That's what we realized after we got there because you're competing against giant dudes.

Speaker 1 They came in.

Speaker 1 They flew all here. They were pretty sad, the bus.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 We were talking. I was talking to two guys who played on Michigan last year who just got drafted.
Not only are they freak athletes, they're 300 pounds and they're 22 years old. Like we got no chicks.

Speaker 1 You can't compete with that. No chick.

Speaker 4 We made the cut, though, which I think is pretty good. Yeah.

Speaker 6 What is that? Like top.

Speaker 1 It was like the top half. It was half.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So he break off. I did it.
I did a three-beard chug in 8.19 seconds.

Speaker 6 Tom could chug. I would say that.
That's the one thing I remember about that. He was like.

Speaker 1 Just one right down. He would break down.
Parentes.

Speaker 6 There was a bar outside of Bryant College called Parentes. And then we would go there for like an hour after meetings before bed check at the Patriots.
And it would be like,

Speaker 6 okay, boys, let's go.

Speaker 4 When did he stop chugging, though?

Speaker 1 Oh, I don't know.

Speaker 1 He had to have

Speaker 1 a couple years. Yeah, okay.

Speaker 1 When he was new.

Speaker 6 Yeah, man, that's how it goes. It was a transition.
That's a transition. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 I don't drink with my coworkers anymore.

Speaker 1 I can't.

Speaker 6 No, they don't want to either.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, no, no.

Speaker 6 They won't tell you this, but they don't want to.

Speaker 1 Well, if I pay, they may want me there.

Speaker 1 They really don't want to. Yeah, no, they don't want me there.

Speaker 4 I think we can drink with them for the first four or five beers, and then we got to go and let them do whatever they do late night.

Speaker 6 I mean, I guess if that's the

Speaker 6 culture that you guys want to be.

Speaker 1 We're not cool. Yeah, we're not cool.
No,

Speaker 6 they don't want to hang out with the bosses, just like nobody wanted to hang out with the head coach. It's how it goes.

Speaker 1 Are you going to be be on the sideline for the Browns this year? No. No.
You're going to be up in the booth?

Speaker 6 I'm not. I'm not.
I knew going in, Kevin and I talked and not having a role on game day. Oh.

Speaker 6 But I think that that's good. You know, I mean, I want to do everything that I can, you know, prior to the game, to pre-advance, to practices, help out where I can.

Speaker 6 And I don't want to change their flow of.

Speaker 6 the game day.

Speaker 6 And there'll be games that I go to.

Speaker 6 And again, these were conversations that Kevin and I had, like, how is this going to work? You know, first we talked about, is it just going to be for the home games, right?

Speaker 6 Would it just be for the home games? And then the schedule comes out and it's like, they've got three home games in a row and then they've got three away games.

Speaker 6 And I was like, I don't, that's not good to you. That's not fair to you guys.
I don't think that anything I want.

Speaker 6 Like, maybe I'm starting to work with a young player or helping a coach or doing something, and then I'm just not there for three weeks.

Speaker 6 That didn't feel, so just trying to find something that's consistent.

Speaker 6 And so we came up with this. And, you know, I think it's going to work really well.

Speaker 4 Have you thought about what your Sunday is going to be like now, though?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Welcome to our world. You're going to be watching the games on TV like everyone else?

Speaker 1 It's harder than playing.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 I mean, I think that that's exactly what I'll do. I'll watch the Browns or I'll watch whoever we're playing

Speaker 6 next.

Speaker 6 And try to get ready.

Speaker 4 You're going to get to watch the game. Red Zone.

Speaker 6 What is that? The Red Zone?

Speaker 4 You're going to experience Red Zone.

Speaker 1 We have all the TV, so we put on all the games.

Speaker 1 We have all the TV. I'm telling you the truth.

Speaker 1 You're going to have to

Speaker 1 strike me as a one TV guys.

Speaker 1 You strike me as a one TV guy.

Speaker 6 You guys are like, hey, you want to know how everybody's doing, and you don't want to know that they're doing better than you're doing.

Speaker 6 It's our job.

Speaker 1 How many people are doing, Braves?

Speaker 1 It's also a fair question. How many TVs are you doing?

Speaker 4 How many got a job? How many TVs? That's

Speaker 1 you don't have a job. You're right.
You work at Deloitte.

Speaker 4 Wait, are you on contract?

Speaker 6 You guys understand, like, I used to wear like orange brown sweatpants to school with a dog. Like, we'd see how many dog biscuits you could eat.
You want to talk about chugging beers

Speaker 6 like you haven't lived until you puked on milk bone.

Speaker 1 You know, there's like hair in those things when you eat them as a sixth grader. You ever party in the muni lot?

Speaker 4 What's that?

Speaker 6 You hang out in the muni lot ever at the what at the muni lot isn't that what it's called the muni lot oh yeah yeah yeah municipal lot so that'd be funny if you're yeah my the first time i ever smelt weed i was like in seventh grade and my dad splurged for dog pound tickets and it was like guys are like had a keg there and they're like pouring and it's like smack passing J's around.

Speaker 6 And I was in seventh grade. I'm like, What is this? He's like, Well, it's a good time to talk through a lot of this stuff here as we're watching the ball game.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 6 was at the last uh game at Municipal Stadium, oh, wow, which was awesome. They were people were pulling.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, you remember if you see people? Yeah, oh, yeah, taking out the ship.

Speaker 6 They had to pull the rails and they come out or the chairs, and they come out like 15 seats in a row. And it was like, ah, ah, ah, and it would throw it over to the thing, and the place would go nuts.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah, Browns fans are special. I do have a good place in my heart for them.

Speaker 4 I've tailgated a couple of times in that parking lot. I have never seen people that drunk before 10 a.m.
before.

Speaker 6 Northeast Ohio is a great place for football. There's a lot of history, which is really cool.

Speaker 6 You know, they had a lot of Ohio State players. Yeah.
You know what I mean? So the history there, they've had a lot of Ohio State players.

Speaker 6 Obviously, Paul Brown, you know, coach in high school football and Maslin. So that's the kind of stuff that's really cool.

Speaker 6 You know, Bill Willis was like one of the first

Speaker 6 nose guards.

Speaker 6 He played at Ohio State, and they said the story was that he kind of was like a linebacker and then he walked down over the center and put his hand down, and that's how he became a nose guard.

Speaker 6 And he was, you know, he's a Hall of Fame player, he's a Hall of Fame, Pro Football Hall of Fame, College Hall of Fame, and Ohio High School Hall of Fame. So there's a ton of history there, obviously.

Speaker 6 And it's cool to look up and see a lot of those names. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Speaking of Ohio, does it bother you that Michigan has your number right now, Or do you not care?

Speaker 6 I care a little bit.

Speaker 1 I don't care a lot. Yeah, you're not.
You're not. You know what I mean?

Speaker 6 I'm not. No, I'm.

Speaker 6 I care. I don't care that much.

Speaker 4 Okay. You don't care that the NCAA football game just shat on Ohio State with their trailer, right?

Speaker 6 Didn't catch that. Did they cross radar?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 That's shocking. I thought that for sure would have been on your radar.

Speaker 6 Nope. That's

Speaker 6 a girl. She was on the timeline.

Speaker 1 She was on the for you page.

Speaker 6 She was on the For You page.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Spit on that thing.

Speaker 1 She did a documentary about her.

Speaker 6 And I love this. Like their hillbillies in Tennessee.

Speaker 6 And we're making sure she gets every dollar that she's supposed to get.

Speaker 1 And she's over there signing hats. Signing hats, yeah.
That was great. Good for her for cashing in, though.
You got to know, strike while the iron's hot.

Speaker 6 He's like, I'm representing her now, and she's going to get every dollar she's supposed to earn.

Speaker 4 I'm being ethical about this.

Speaker 4 You got to have like a follow-up plan if you're hawk to a girl like how do you follow up that massive first hit yeah

Speaker 6 there's you know i mean you don't yeah

Speaker 1 i mean

Speaker 6 other than like a like a fantasy camp where like do you come in and it's like

Speaker 6 you teach like here's the technique she's a coach

Speaker 4 she could be a coaches i got kind of a kind of a serious question we talked about uh dan campbell

Speaker 4 kind of serious we talked about

Speaker 4 dan campbell earlier and i feel like where you were early on in your head coaching career in the nfl NFL is kind of like where Dan Campbell has been around the last couple of years. Where

Speaker 4 what I mean by that is that I feel like journalists and the media and fans a lot of times didn't necessarily know how smart you were for the first couple seasons.

Speaker 4 They saw you as, you know, former linebacker, meathead. He's aggressive.

Speaker 4 And I don't know if you played into that aspect to like let people underestimate you, but I feel like that same thing is happening with Dan Campbell, where he gets all the clicks where he says, I'm bringing a live line onto the field, you know, doing all the meathead stuff.

Speaker 4 But that was our fault. Yeah, that was our fault.
But secretly, secretly, he's like very, very smart in a football sense. And he's like, he's been around the game.

Speaker 6 He played for a long time. He,

Speaker 6 you know, obviously was successful in New Orleans and in Miami and everything that he did.

Speaker 6 And I think that that's

Speaker 6 his ability to translate that being a player, right? These tight ends are very unique positions, right? They're involved in a run game. They're involved in the pass concepts.
So they know coverages.

Speaker 6 They also know fronts. So he took a lot of that as a player and the way that he played the game and then translated that to his coaching style.
And

Speaker 6 when you go out there, you're not trying to prove anybody like, oh, I'm this or I'm smart.

Speaker 6 I'm very intellectual. It's all about what you can get your players to believe in.

Speaker 4 Right, but I feel like sometimes he does it the other way where he puts stuff out there to make people underestimate him. And not realize that.

Speaker 1 I mean, I don't know that.

Speaker 6 Maybe he does, or maybe that's his personality.

Speaker 6 But they've certainly been successful. And I love the way that they play.
I love the, you know, I always root for Dan. I think that he's, you know, like, would always have conversations with him.

Speaker 6 wish them the best until they play the Browns.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. I mean, it is, I think it also just speaks to the way the game is talked about has obviously evolved.
Analytics,

Speaker 1 a lot of it's covered in a different way.

Speaker 6 But analytics is always something that was a part of the game. Of course.
There's always percentages. They're always this.
And I think now that there's got to be a fine line, right?

Speaker 6 There's got to be some working balance between the two. You know, they're humans and you have a feel.
And not every time the conditions are the same.

Speaker 6 And, you know, the decisions that we make, yeah, they have to be, you know, you just don't want results-based analysis. Yeah.
Right. Well, it didn't work.
So, or it worked, and so it was right.

Speaker 6 It's got to be thought out before, like, if we get this situation, here's what we're doing.

Speaker 4 We've always had analytics, it's just how the numbers that we're now measuring are different because we've learned what's better, what's not.

Speaker 4 And having a coach that has like real life, like, especially playing experience, absolutely helps when you've got the numbers and then you also have game feel at the same time.

Speaker 6 Right, the application of it, and the biggest thing is that the players understand

Speaker 6 what it is that you're doing. Hey, guys, we got to call upon this practice in August when we went through this situation and

Speaker 6 this is why we're doing this. And I think that those, once you can get the players to understand it and buy into it and believe it, you know, then you got a chance.

Speaker 1 Did you have that moment where you could feel that the players

Speaker 1 were fully buying into everything you did?

Speaker 1 Because it feels like every time I hear a story about coaching, and this goes back to Belichick, it's like the minute the players realize the coach is putting them in the best spot, they buy in 100% and they're all in and they'll do everything for that coach.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I do. I mean, I think

Speaker 6 it was, you know, early on, I think we'd,

Speaker 6 I think that they,

Speaker 6 we might have beaten the Patriots in 2018, you know, even before we went up there. And

Speaker 6 they'd lost to them in the playoffs the year before and and they went hurry-up, right? They went on the ball and they weren't ready and they weren't lined up and it just, it didn't look

Speaker 6 like it was a unit, right? It didn't, there was, there was no flow to what they were doing. And so

Speaker 6 I just said, you guys are going to be ready to beat this team, to beat this quarterback and to beat this coach. When the game's over, you have to be mentally and physically exhausted.

Speaker 6 And however you want to put that first, physically and mentally exhausted or mentally and physically exhausted.

Speaker 6 Because every snap, if you're not ready to go, a quarterback like Tom is just going to pick you apart, right? They're just going to spread you out.

Speaker 6 And if you can't get lined up, he's going to snap it and he's going to throw to the guy that's open. That's how they operate.
And

Speaker 6 we beat him in Tennessee and the guys that were there and then had gotten beaten were like, okay, we felt like we were prepared. They went empty.
We blitzed them, sacked.

Speaker 6 I mean, we sacked Tom like eight times. You know what I mean? And they were like, okay,

Speaker 6 this, this felt better. It felt like we were ready for what they were going to do.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 So those, those, that was something that, you know, I think early on

Speaker 6 helped us.

Speaker 1 I just thought of another Vraibo game when you, I think you held Patrick Mahomes to three points.

Speaker 11 We did. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That was a classic. Was that the week after you guys lost the Cardinals opening week?

Speaker 6 I don't know if it was the very next week, but that was a Vrabel game.

Speaker 1 That wasn't played well, yeah. Where the Chiefs were like, oh, the Chiefs are the best.
Patrick Mahomes, you held them to three points.

Speaker 6 Yeah. And we had great, you know, I mean, again, to be able to, I think Travis had one catch or something like that.
And so

Speaker 6 the guys executed the plan. They knew, you know, just,

Speaker 6 but, you know, unfortunately, we weren't able to, you know, to beat them when it mattered. That was to go to the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 I need you back in the league.

Speaker 4 Yeah, we need the Mike Vrabel weeks. It's just

Speaker 4 you get a sense, yeah, you get a sense of it. And it's like, okay, at least I've got one winner this weekend.
Yeah, it's always good to go in a weekend knowing you're not going to get shut out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the Steelers or the Titans are underdogs, and everyone's written them off. Great.

Speaker 4 Oh, have you thought about the new kickoffs yet?

Speaker 6 Yeah, we've worked through that.

Speaker 4 What's going to happen with those?

Speaker 6 I think you'll probably see,

Speaker 6 I think, as the season goes on, probably more touchbacks. You know, I think that we'll see

Speaker 6 what's the difference. I know that analytically, somebody's going to, as soon as this comes out, they're going to tell me the difference between the 25 and the 30.

Speaker 1 It's five yards.

Speaker 4 Just did it for you. Points.
Okay.

Speaker 6 Points. Is it a half a point?

Speaker 1 Is it a third? Is it third of a point?

Speaker 4 It's 0.13 points.

Speaker 1 Is it? Yeah.

Speaker 11 Good. Yeah.

Speaker 11 Sure.

Speaker 1 It's a third of our points.

Speaker 6 But I think that it's going to, if it keeps the kickoff alive and it keeps guys,

Speaker 6 you know, the special teams in the game, I think that there's going to be

Speaker 6 more returns. I think there will be more yardage gained.
I think guys are going to, you know, be able to

Speaker 6 get it up, you know, I mean, to be able to hit it in there and get some yardage out there. And we'll see what the 30-yard line does on the touchbacks.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and maybe have kickers that can tackle, too.

Speaker 6 that's, that remains to be seen.

Speaker 1 That'll probably never happen. One of my best friends in the league playing.

Speaker 1 Larry Izzo.

Speaker 6 Larry Izzo came with this idea when we were in Houston. And he went to, you know, Larry and I played for eight years together in New England.

Speaker 6 And so he was like, Billy, I think we're going to have Brian Peters, you know, Northwestern guy. We're going to have Brian.
He was our special team. He's like, really good player.

Speaker 6 And he's like, I'm going to have Brian kick off. You know, he can kick off.
And it's like, we're going to get an extra guy covering. And I think we we were in Minnesota.

Speaker 6 First one, he kicks down to like the five, and maybe it wasn't the first one, but the second one he kicked, and you could just see his quad go,

Speaker 1 just explode.

Speaker 6 And I'm like, Larry, this isn't going to go well for you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's one guy who's like, What the fuck are we doing, Larry?

Speaker 4 I think he's on the Texans, right? He's he's a safety and can also kick pretty well. He did a couple kickoffs last year, so might have made a field goal too.

Speaker 1 Reed is a safety for Kansas City, and then Darrella, yeah, Badger.

Speaker 6 He was, I really like, he was versatile. He was in Houston the first time when we were down there.
And

Speaker 6 he kicked last year. I think he had a kick against Tampa Bay, the game that, you know, Houston came back and won at the end.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Do you still hate kickers? Because I think for a time period, you did hate kickers, right?

Speaker 6 I mean, I don't know how many we've gone through, but there should be a game. Have you kicked for the Tennessee Titans from 2008 to 2022?

Speaker 6 And I wouldn't be able to tell you if they did or not.

Speaker 6 I think one year we probably had six field goal kickers.

Speaker 4 And sometimes you just wouldn't send the kicker out there. It'd be like, you're just like, I'm done with kickers.
I can't handle another miss.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean,

Speaker 6 I see these guys at Kickforce. Cairo Santos missed four field goals against the Bills.
Bills were good. They're still good.
I mean, Josh Allen, you know what I mean? A great defense.

Speaker 1 Four field goals.

Speaker 6 You know, the last field goal he missed was that fourth one against the Bills. And then he goes to Chicago.
I don't think the guy's missed.

Speaker 1 No, No, he's been actually money.

Speaker 1 I mean, it would be, it was unreal.

Speaker 6 Yeah. And I'd watch every week.
I'm like, oh,

Speaker 6 Greg Joseph.

Speaker 6 He could only kick 52 yarders when he was in Tennessee.

Speaker 6 Apparently, he made a 65-yarder or whatever he did to win the game.

Speaker 1 I'm like, nice kick, Greg. These guys are great guys.

Speaker 6 Apparently, they get down here on

Speaker 6 Broadway.

Speaker 1 They can't sell it.

Speaker 6 They can't make them.

Speaker 6 Nick Folk was fantastic for us last year. And I joke, but we had certainly

Speaker 6 some bad breaks. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, so I got one last question. This has been awesome.
We love having you on, Vrabes.

Speaker 1 Can't wait till you get back in the, well, you're in the league, but head coaching. If you need us to call in a recommendation, we got you.

Speaker 1 I tried on a resume, yeah. Recommendations.

Speaker 4 I tried to do that last year. There was a guy from the Commanders.
Remember, he was on, he was like sitting first class on a plane. You were on that same plane.
I was like,

Speaker 4 you should go talk to Mike Vrabel about this job. He told me you were on there.

Speaker 7 Did he talk to you?

Speaker 6 No.

Speaker 6 That's sad.

Speaker 1 That's right. But I like Dan Quinn.
Dan Quinn, great job. Absolutely.
But all right, so my Roback question: R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com, roback.com, promo code take. 20% off your first purchase.

Speaker 1 Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. I got great golf stuff.
Roback.com, promo code take. 20% off.
That was all from the dome. I know.

Speaker 6 Make sure my swag bag's ready here for you.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 coffee. Well, how was the coffee? Hank wants to know how was the coffee.
Hank got you the coffee.

Speaker 6 I meant the roback, the golf stuff, Hank.

Speaker 1 Uh, how are you golfing?

Speaker 1 We'll see.

Speaker 1 What's your hand there?

Speaker 6 But it's better than what it was last year. Okay, I got really good at skiing this year.
I mean, I'm a scratch skier.

Speaker 6 I got fired and I went to the mountain and I skied.

Speaker 6 But

Speaker 6 it is, it's, I mean, when you go out there, like, it is nerve-wracking. Like, there's fans, like, it's a long line.

Speaker 6 Like, and every ball, you got to put everything in, and it's like, no, like, no gimme, gimme's yeah no gimme's yeah yeah so wait what what's your what's your handicap do you have one i i do you that the index would be 8.3 if you looked it up right now

Speaker 1 it's like joe biden it's pretty damn good yeah yeah it's pretty damn good what's the work sometimes may be good sometimes may be shit yeah incline walk some push-ups that's it hike wait what is it incline walk what's the incline at that's a hot girl walk two hot girl walks 12 and 35 okay accountability you don't you don't hold on to the things right you go hands-free

Speaker 1 That was a dumb question. I'm just making sure.

Speaker 6 Some push-ups.

Speaker 6 I did get into this boot camp. So the boys back in Nashville at Richland Country Club, there's a 7 a.m.
boot camp. There's like four of us.
And we got this trainer,

Speaker 6 Justin, and he does this boot camp. And I was like, screw it.
These guys are guys I golf with.

Speaker 6 I'll, you know, Pico and the boys and Chappie and Gotti. And so we'll go in there and he grinds us and it just gives me a chance to cuss him out

Speaker 1 for an hour. It is something about being pushed by someone else.
It's funny. Right.

Speaker 6 And it's not even like heavyweight. It's just like do as many reps you need to be.

Speaker 1 Because someone is just yelling at you.

Speaker 6 Take a two-second break and then go.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So you go incline, walk, three and a half

Speaker 1 speed, 12 incline for 30 minutes.

Speaker 6 Yeah, 35, 30 minutes.

Speaker 1 And then how many push-ups?

Speaker 6 100 or whatever if I don't do a boost.

Speaker 1 That's a full workout?

Speaker 6 Yeah, I'd do some toe touches and some core matrix point.

Speaker 1 Some core. So, wait, when you hit the first tee.

Speaker 4 You do 100 push-ups. How many breaks do you take?

Speaker 6 I just go straight through.

Speaker 4 You just do 100 push-ups? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, same.

Speaker 4 Me too.

Speaker 6 I don't go on it. My shoulder.
I mean,

Speaker 6 the last two years, I would say this, the last two years I have felt like,

Speaker 6 man,

Speaker 6 I felt like I played. Like, I was okay, 45, 46, and then now it's like, Jesus.

Speaker 1 What's going on?

Speaker 6 But now you're skiing. I wake up, identify as I'm set.
Yeah, but that's gravity. Skiing is just,

Speaker 1 you just go down.

Speaker 1 Just using gravity.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's how you got a place in Utah, right? I do.

Speaker 1 Is that isn't it?

Speaker 4 Apocalypse Bunker? I heard it might have been. Yeah, I heard it was Apocalypse Bunker.

Speaker 6 The entire state?

Speaker 1 No, no, your place in Utah.

Speaker 4 Yeah. No.

Speaker 6 You don't have it.

Speaker 1 It's not an Apocalypse Bunker.

Speaker 4 The entire state.

Speaker 1 No, it goes right on a mountain. You just ski right out.

Speaker 6 You just go right out the back.

Speaker 1 The entire state of Utah. So Apocalypse Bunker.
So

Speaker 4 it's in the mountain. Your place is in the mountain? That sounds like a bunker to me.

Speaker 6 It's half in the mountain. You know what I mean? The top part is not.
So it's half a bunker.

Speaker 1 So it's half a bunker.

Speaker 4 It's a good place to go in case shit goes down.

Speaker 1 Will you let us in the bunker when shit goes down?

Speaker 6 Yeah, we'll go down there.

Speaker 6 We got a golf semi in the lower levels. Nice.

Speaker 1 Tomato cans. Yeah, we got a bunch of money.

Speaker 6 No, just beer cans.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.
That sounds like a good bunker.

Speaker 4 Any guns? You got guns out there?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 6 Not a huge gun guy, you know.

Speaker 6 But that doesn't mean we can't

Speaker 1 get some.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. We'll get some.
Yeah, it's, I don't know. We'll bring the bunker.
We'll need one.

Speaker 6 i mean other than a you know

Speaker 6 you go hiking right you guys are married and and you know we'd go hike and you know my wife jen and i would hike and she's like well i saw on the instagram they got bears out there now park city and i'm like babe i don't have to be faster than the bear i just have to be faster than you yes right exactly it's not that hard to understand yeah we saw

Speaker 1 yesterday i'd fuck a coyote up Yeah, easy.

Speaker 4 Yeah,

Speaker 4 they're skinny. They're like 90 pounds.

Speaker 8 Punch in the face.

Speaker 6 that's like a raccoon. It's like a carp with legs.
Right.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they were afraid of us, too.

Speaker 4 We were intimidating as fuck.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right, Brabes.

Speaker 6 Did you enjoy this?

Speaker 1 You're the best. Yeah, of course.
Did you enjoy it?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Kidding me? I knew the best.

Speaker 4 Was it Rodney Harrison that said you're the nicest asshole that he knows?

Speaker 1 Maybe.

Speaker 4 I think that's, yeah.

Speaker 6 You guys remember that story about Rodney and Kevin Falk, right? No. No.
So we bring Rodney. Bill comes up with this idea that he's going to sign Rodney Harrison after the Chargers let him go.

Speaker 6 And he comes in. It's like the first day of pads.
And

Speaker 6 Kevin Falk runs one of his like option routes out. And I tried to cover him, or Teddy tries to cover him, and we can't cover him.
And so he catches it and he turns up.

Speaker 6 And Rodney comes and knocks the shit out of him. And everybody, you know, this is when we had like 8,000 fans.

Speaker 6 And he wasn't a cheap shot. And Falk gets up and kind of slams the ball around.
He's like, fuck you. And then

Speaker 6 Dante's like,

Speaker 6 Scarneckia, right? A little scar.

Speaker 1 He's like, Take care of you, Tina. You can't Ronnie goes,

Speaker 6 you too.

Speaker 6 And me and Teddy looked at each other like, I think we got a dude right now.

Speaker 1 He's cussing out Dante. He crossing out the coaching.

Speaker 1 We're like, me too. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We got to do it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Fuck.
Yeah, that's that's Rodney Earson. All right.
Yeah, you know, you're the best. We love having you on.
Um, maybe come watch some games with us on a Sunday. I think we could do that.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 Let me me see if

Speaker 6 my boss.

Speaker 1 Okay, all right.

Speaker 6 Kevin, I'm going to reach out to you and I'll see what he thinks.

Speaker 4 I have one last last question. Do you have any interest in doing TV, media or TV?

Speaker 6 Because I feel like you'd be at some point in time. I just don't want to cross over.
I don't think that it's ready to go to the dark side. No, no.

Speaker 4 You don't want to dark side. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Whoa, I mean by that, I mean, like, once you go to media, like you, these guys, they never missed a tackle. Yeah.
They never dropped a pass. They never threw a pick.
Like, that's what I mean.

Speaker 6 Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 It's a good point. All right, Braves.
Thanks so much, man. Thank you.

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Speaker 11 And now for something completely different.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is comedian Gary Veter, who is here for his comedy, but also for his podcast that is out now.
It's called Number One Dad.

Speaker 1 I've listened to every episode. It's an insane story.
So we wanted to have you on talk about it. There's a very weird and awesome sports angle to it.

Speaker 1 So let's start start there. Let's start with number one, dad.

Speaker 1 First of all, thank you for coming in here. Totally.

Speaker 1 Do you want to give

Speaker 1 a quick

Speaker 11 background? Yeah, background. And then my

Speaker 11 start and kind of where the podcast picks up. It's my dad and I, we had an extremely complicated relationship.

Speaker 11 But back, this is in the early 90s. My dad, he, for one, he is a con man.
Yes. Let's get that right out there.
He's a con man, and we stopped talking 24 years ago.

Speaker 11 But back back in the early 90s, him and I, we shared this special moment where one of the cons involved me, where we would go to Madison Square Garden, he'd call up a head, he'd say that we work for Sports Illustrated for Kids, that I was a reporter and he was a photographer.

Speaker 11 And when we'd arrive at the garden, they'd give us press passes to these games back in the 90s, between 93 and 97. And we went to over 50 games completely for free without tickets.

Speaker 11 And

Speaker 11 they gave us access to the locker rooms also. So when we would go there, not only would I meet the players, but I would keep up appearances and I would also interview the players as well.

Speaker 11 So I met all the New York Rangers back in the 90s. I met all the Knicks back in the 90s.

Speaker 11 And then if they're playing a cool opposing team, especially like the Bulls when they came to town and Michael Jordan was there, I met and interviewed Michael Jordan as well.

Speaker 1 It's got an easy deal.

Speaker 4 Would you actually write stories?

Speaker 11 No, we wouldn't even write stories. Then that was the thing.

Speaker 11 Nobody asked because over time, one for one, people just believed us because after they see you a few times, they're like, oh, here you are again. So it's all good.
But they never question us.

Speaker 11 They never asked to see any articles or anything like that. But I would come around with like a notepad and a pen and I would ask questions, mostly like, you know, bullshit questions.

Speaker 11 So it would be like, what's your favorite food? Or what's your best advice for a kid that, you know, wants to maybe one day be an athlete? So it's things like that.

Speaker 11 Things that they would actually ask in Sports Illustrated for kids.

Speaker 1 It's crazy. And obviously the whole podcast is, you know, about your dad and he has a ton of different cons that broke apart your family and like was very hurtful.

Speaker 1 But this one, when I first saw this one, I was like, oh shit, this is insane because there's pictures of you with Michael Jordan and Patrick Ewing. Now, how old were you when this happened?

Speaker 11 So I was between the ages of nine to 13 when we were doing the SSI for kids scam.

Speaker 1 Did you have any idea that like you were just you were part of this con, or were you like, because there's, there's like nine years old, I could see a nine-year-old not fully understanding and being like, this is just the coolest thing ever.

Speaker 11 For sure. I mean, I knew 100%.
My dad, dad, I was kind of groomed into my dad, I think, wanting me to be like him.

Speaker 11 He wanted me to be this kind of con man, this fast talker, a guy who had a lot of street smarts. So very early on, my dad was operating like this and just everything he would do.

Speaker 11 If we're going to a restaurant, he's trying to cop a free meal by whether he's bartering or might he owned a payphone slash telecommunications business.

Speaker 11 Their phones would just be magically out somehow.

Speaker 11 I would always think that my dad would cut wires and things like that, and we'd be getting a free meal because they needed somebody to repair the phone system.

Speaker 11 So I was seeing my dad operate on a certain level.

Speaker 11 So when it came time to do the SI for kids scam, I was very familiar with how my dad operated that I knew that it wasn't, you know, who we were, but that we would just have to keep up this ploy to actually get in.

Speaker 1 So there was no part of you that was like, when you get SI for I remember getting SI for kids when I was a kid. There was no part of you that was like, oh, I'm going to see my article in here.
No,

Speaker 1 you're just like, this is what we do to get tickets.

Speaker 11 Oh, Oh, for sure. And my dad would take the pictures and he would use these pictures to show off to people.

Speaker 11 If we went to restaurants, he'd be like, oh, look, this is who my son meets to kind of give him a higher profile. He always just loved bragging about different stuff, his accomplishments.

Speaker 11 He loved lying. So him succeeding in this particular lie definitely brought him joy.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 So did you tell any of your friends that you were writing for a Sports Illustrated for Kids?

Speaker 11 No, never told them. And that was part of my dad's thing.

Speaker 11 He knew that. However, if I was to tell somebody, they wouldn't understand it and then it would also get back to him.
So we kept it very hush.

Speaker 11 Later on, as time, I was like, I want to share these moments. I want to share that I met Michael Jordan with people.

Speaker 11 So my dad agreed that we could tell people that he knew somebody at the garden, and that's how we had access. Okay.
So it was never, you know, being completely forthcoming or anything like that.

Speaker 4 Yeah, go ahead. Was there like a moment growing up where you realized that like a lot of what dad says is bullshit?

Speaker 11 Oh, yeah. And it becomes a point where you're like, damn, can't you just be like a normal dad? Right.
That's all you want. You just want your dad to be normal at a certain point.

Speaker 11 You're living this cool, this cool moment where you're going to these games and all my friends, they weren't able to go to see. I went to the Rangers Game 7, Stanley Cup.

Speaker 11 Game one, game five, and game seven without a ticket. Game seven, I sat glass and watched the Rangers win the cup.
Went to locker room after the game, watching them drink from the cup.

Speaker 11 Went to the after party. So these are things.

Speaker 11 And I go to school the next day. I can't share with anybody, but...
I just want, I want to, I wish that I could have.

Speaker 11 I wish I could have been like, my dad and I, we did this thing, but you have have to keep it quiet because you don't want to not be able to do it. And who knew?

Speaker 11 I didn't know what the repercussions were about lying. I just knew that it probably wouldn't be good.
We probably wouldn't be seen in a good light.

Speaker 1 Have any of the, so when you went, you, you posted the first

Speaker 1 story about this during COVID, right? Yeah. So you posted like, hey, I lived this life as a fake sports illustrator kids reporter.

Speaker 11 Well, the last dance just came out. Right.
So it kind of brought it up. And my son was just born.
So I was like, maybe I should just start sharing this.

Speaker 11 And I would tell people like Nate Borgettzi and my friends in comedy all about it when we were when we were like starting out and they were like oh this is so insane and I just I didn't really find the right time to say it and then having a kid of my own kindly

Speaker 11 kind of brought this out more of why you know make it made make maybe question why did my dad do this why what were his did he even do it for me was he doing it for himself or was he was he actually wanting to show his kid a good time and this is the only way he could show it yeah and then kind of made me wonder, what has he been up to after all this time?

Speaker 11 Because, like I said, we haven't talked. We have had no communication in 24 years.
And

Speaker 11 yeah, I wanted to see what he's up to.

Speaker 1 When you went public with it, did any of the, I would assume none of the athletes reached out, but did anyone reach out like from Madison Square Garden or anyone being like, hey, this is crazy.

Speaker 1 I remember this?

Speaker 11 No, nobody, nobody reached out. The only, I mean, Sports Illustrated reached out just so I could write an article for them.
Right. And then they went under, so I don't know if that was because of me.

Speaker 11 Yeah.

Speaker 11 But besides that, I would say, yeah, nobody did. And it was before Dolan.
So I think I, and I've been to Madison Square Garden.

Speaker 11 I went through like the private entrance before, and it's after that article came out and everything. So I think I'm good on Dolan's terms.
But other than that, it was pre-Dolan.

Speaker 11 So I think everybody's gone from the garden by that at this point.

Speaker 1 The craziest part to me is: so you're a professional comedian.

Speaker 1 I want to talk about you, you won. Did you win America's Got Talent? No,

Speaker 11 I was a finalist, though. Finalists.

Speaker 11 I lost to

Speaker 11 a magician or somebody.

Speaker 4 It's always a magician or some guy that invents a musical instrument that takes up the entire room.

Speaker 1 So you've been doing comedy for a long time, and comedy, you know, we have a bunch of comedians on. We have friends that are comedians.
It feels like most comedians tell a lot of personal stories.

Speaker 1 You just didn't tell this story through all your comedy all these years?

Speaker 11 Yeah, never told it. It was one of the ones where

Speaker 11 I wouldn't even mention my dad in my act. I didn't want anything to do with him.
I completely cut him off. It was just too much bringing him up.

Speaker 11 And then I needed a kind of a right platform to bring out the story. And then so I thought that this podcast would be it.

Speaker 4 Yeah. It's kind of beautiful, too.
You ended up becoming a Sports Illustrated columnist because your dad lied about you being a sports illustration.

Speaker 11 Yeah, 24 years later.

Speaker 1 And you're, like, I would hope that you're, I mean, the podcast is really, really well done. Everyone should go listen to it.

Speaker 1 But I would assume you're making money now off your day. It's like you're kind of getting them back.
a little bit.

Speaker 11 He exploited me, and it's my chance to

Speaker 11 exploit him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he put you through all this.

Speaker 11 Yeah, this is everything he taught me. Yeah, right.
It's coming right back at you.

Speaker 1 Full circle. Yeah.
That's crazy. The other one that, and you mentioned it there for the payphones,

Speaker 1 I don't know if you listened to it yet, PFT, but your dad basically went around selling payphones, pretending to be ATT, even though he had no relation with ATT.

Speaker 11 Yeah, my dad was a master at pretending and posturing people. He could be somebody, anybody he really wanted to be.

Speaker 11 And as soon as he saw something as simple as this is, but with ATT, he owned and operated his own payphone/slash telecommunications business.

Speaker 11 And he would go and get accounts by saying that he personally was ATT.

Speaker 11 They didn't know that he was just a one-person to maybe he had four people max working for him at a time, but this very small company.

Speaker 11 And he'd get accounts like Toys R Us and Costco, and he'd put in all their payphone systems.

Speaker 11 And this is, I mean, this wounds up being big money back then, and they had no idea they weren't actually working with

Speaker 11 ATT.

Speaker 4 So, like, when he'd send them a bill, would it say ATT on the bill? Yeah,

Speaker 11 he would forge it. He would have their insignia and their symbol on there and their logo.
And if you call my dad's phone, it would have the ATT chime on it.

Speaker 11 So, they fully believed that they were in business with ATT. And then he would give, when they would change over managers, he would give them a commission.
And then, if

Speaker 11 they move managers, sometimes he wouldn't give them commission, things like that. Just finding ways to weasel his way in and out of certain deals.

Speaker 4 Was he always on the look for a scam? Like, where would he go about his day and be like, oh, that's something I can, I can take it? I'm going to circle back on that one later.

Speaker 4 Like, or was this just about like, you know, get a meal here or there?

Speaker 4 He'd have a couple big ideas every now and again, like the Sports Illustrated for Kids, or was this like an everyday thing where he always had a new project?

Speaker 11 Everything. Everything he did.
So before what predated the ATT thing, he had a furniture business and he would give some people their furniture and then some people not. And this is back in the 80s.

Speaker 11 So finding out

Speaker 11 where my furniture is back in the 80s, you have to jump through hoops. You could call the Better Business Bureau, but are you one of, you know,

Speaker 11 two people complaining about this furniture company? Or

Speaker 11 how long do you have to wait on the phone, this whole process?

Speaker 11 And this guy is saying, meanwhile, my father's saying, I did send you your furniture. You do have it.
What are you talking about? This person's lying. So your word against his.
And eventually,

Speaker 11 enough people complain about my father he wound up uh being court the attorney general new york state attorney general uh filed suit against him and apparently my dad uh it was something over like a hundred thousand dollars that that he took from people back in the 80s which is equivalent of like four hundred thousand five hundred thousand now and these all all these scams do feel like you couldn't pull them off today a lot of them yeah you can't you can't now A lot of my dad's scams, it's simplicity.

Speaker 11 It's him saying he is somebody and then somebody buying it, the AT ⁇ T thing, the Sports Illustrated.

Speaker 11 So a lot of people look at certain scams as, you know, to get into Madison Square Garden, I'm going to have to Jimmy a lock and then slide in through a back door.

Speaker 11 My dad's just going to walk through that front door because you're going to give him access. A lot of his things are figuring out a way in the most simple way to get in.

Speaker 4 Yeah,

Speaker 4 I'm ashamed to admit this, but like...

Speaker 4 It wasn't until about two years ago that I realized that con man didn't mean con like you're tricking somebody. Con means confidence.

Speaker 4 And so if you just do something with enough confidence and you act apart, then people just let you.

Speaker 4 We've always said that the easiest way to get into places is if you have a clipboard and maybe like one of those orange Dayglow vests and an earpiece. Yeah, no one's got it.

Speaker 1 If you're on a golf cart, golf cart with a clipboard,

Speaker 4 you can get in anywhere in America. But yeah, so your dad was like a very confident person in everything he was doing.

Speaker 4 Would he like change his style, or was it always like a very assertive, aggressive guy?

Speaker 11 He was always like, I mean, very assertive, but you you know if he was talking to somebody who is is like uh israeli he could put on like a hebrew accent or russian he's figuring that out french he's all of a sudden he could like speak french so he's a smart guy so he knew what to say to make certain people like him yeah yeah so he could always figure out something the psychology of it is is so fascinating to me because i've i've dealt with a couple people in my life who are you know i i think your dad is probably to the like very far extreme but like i used to have to manage property in my old career, and like I dealt with someone who they moved into an apartment and all, they made a list of like 300 things to complain about.

Speaker 1 And their whole plan was, you can't fix 300 things, so I'm just not going to pay rent for three months until you finally kick me out. And like they, and then I looked it up after.

Speaker 1 It was like, I was very naive. I looked it up after the person was in all these court cases, and that was their entire thing.

Speaker 1 They just go from apartment to apartment, knowing that they could live off of people for long enough to then go to the next one.

Speaker 11 Yeah, they just figure out a way.

Speaker 1 And they just, it's like, I think there's such a fascinating thing where like most people are trusting and most people want to take people at face value.

Speaker 1 So if you have this sociopathic brain, you can take advantage of anyone.

Speaker 11 For sure. And now some people are not going to buy your bullshit, but for the most part, a lot of people are.

Speaker 11 Like I said, I mean, not everybody think when somebody's talking to you, you're thinking that they're going to be telling you the truth. Right.

Speaker 11 Even on the street, oh, I need, you know, anyway, the directions for this. By the way, could I have, you know, $5.
I have no money. It's like, well, now I gave you directions.

Speaker 11 You already had a conversation. Maybe now I am going to give you $5.
Right.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 11 You know, it's like that was their whole intent, but they got you kind of talking or whatever.

Speaker 11 People just figure out a way because they don't think that they're going to be lied to you. Right.

Speaker 1 And it's like, it's, it's a, it's kind of a scary life hack. It's like, it's actually almost, I was thinking about it more because, again, this podcast is so, so good.

Speaker 1 And I was listening to it all weekend um thank you it's like it's like the people like in homeowners associations who complain and complain and complain and they know that if they complain enough they'll just wear everyone else down right and it's like if you if you're just an like if you just annoy people to a point that they just give up that is like a weird life hack that's a loophole that you can use and it seemed like your dad kind of had that figured out he's like people will eventually give up because i won't yeah yeah i'm not going to give you your furniture because i know that it's going to be a pretty hard for you to figure this out or maybe you don't want to put in the time So I'm gonna get away with this for a while, right?

Speaker 11 But yeah, but back to the confidence thing. Yeah, my dad

Speaker 11 He kind of operated on a thing where eventually you know when we're all young you you kind of like I could do this thing I could I'm gonna sneak into you know

Speaker 11 Six flags or something like that.

Speaker 11 I'm gonna figure something out But when you get older you're like oh, I don't want to deal with the consequences I think as my dad got older He really just didn't care continue not to care about the consequences.

Speaker 11 Right.

Speaker 11 He just had that mentality like I'm gonna go through with this i'm gonna figure out how to how to get by and if i get caught i'm not gonna be embarrassed it just is what it is yeah did he ever get caught in front of you yeah i mean there was one time we were at a uh a diner and i i had like a small cut on my hand because there was some glass on the table and my dad just went up to i guess the manager of this diner and said that My son is bleeding.

Speaker 11 You know, you should comp our meal. And I was with a friend at the time.
Next thing I know, my dad was getting thrown out of of the diner.

Speaker 11 So it's these little things where you don't want your father to be doing that. There's no reason for him to ask for a free meal and who knows exactly what he said to them.

Speaker 11 But next thing you know, he's having the cops called on them and he's eventually he like uh he pressed charges against them and he still got he got more money out of it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's a complaining thing. Like if you keep pushing, someone's going to give up because they're like, I don't want to deal with it.

Speaker 11 Exactly.

Speaker 4 That's crazy. Is there anything that you've taken from him that he taught you either like knowingly or unknowingly that you've been able to use to your advantage?

Speaker 4 Like either in your career, obviously the podcast, the stories, right, right. Big thing, but just like his mannerisms or how he approaches people in a conversation.

Speaker 11 I would just say that, you know, basically how people take you at face value. So you could really use that, you know, to your advantage, but you don't want to use it.

Speaker 11 I didn't want to be anything like my dad, but in terms of comedy, if anything, it just taught me, you know, if you could be, if you could be confident, if you use your skill set in a positive way, you might be able to do something actually with your life.

Speaker 11 My dad would say that he was a cop. He would say that he was a lawyer.
He'd impersonate these people. He would say that he's a photographer.

Speaker 11 And these are things that he all probably could have done on his own if he actually worked hard, but he chose not to.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because he does sound like a very smart guy.

Speaker 11 Yeah, and he was funny, too. So I saw all this, that he had the capabilities of being a different person, but he chose to, he loved lying.
He loved conning.

Speaker 11 and it seems that that really brought him joy.

Speaker 4 Well, as a comedian, it's interesting because that's probably the one line of work where you can't lie about it. You can't fake it.

Speaker 1 You can't fake it.

Speaker 11 You can fake confidence. In comedy, you can fake it.
A lot of comics, you go on stage and

Speaker 11 you're still in front of an audience. You have to act more confident than you actually are.
So it does play some sort of a role, but yeah, for the most part, there is vulnerability.

Speaker 11 Vulnerability, and I can't even say that word, but it's a good one.

Speaker 4 If you're funny, you're funny. Yeah, yeah yeah like you can't i guess you could steal other people's jokes yeah

Speaker 1 yeah but there's still some yeah there's still some truth in who you are on stage for sure yeah how so now that you're a father uh are you worried like your son is gonna have like if he shows signs of being a con man early because it is it does i i i don't know the actual psychology of it but it does feel like this is something that some people are just born with where they have that sociopathic like ability to lie and they never relent on their lying.

Speaker 11 Yeah, I think you know whatever made my dad do it, it might have been his upbringing, his need to see that he couldn't afford things and then he was like, how am I going to get certain material goods?

Speaker 11 But in my son's case, I think if you just try and teach them right, hopefully they and tell them to be honest and say that's not a good way to go about your life, hopefully that they stay clear of that.

Speaker 4 It's funny because every kid has moments where they bang their arm on something and then it's a big deal and they act like they're hurt. It's a perfectly normal thing for a kid to do.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 But maybe you look at your kid, you're like, oh no.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's still me.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He wakes up the next day and neck brace. Yeah, neck brace, being like, dad,

Speaker 1 where's our settlement?

Speaker 11 You know what? My son does now. And I mean, kids are, how old are your kids?

Speaker 1 Five, three, and one.

Speaker 1 Okay, yeah.

Speaker 11 So I have a four and one year old now. And my four-year-old, he'll say sorry about stuff.

Speaker 11 He'll hit his brother and be like I'm so sorry after he does it yeah but he's saying it just so he could you know what else are we we're gonna be like well you shouldn't do that and he goes I'm sorry no they know it's the easy way out it's a very a very good tactic at manipulating the situation so they had so kids have it and it's just it depends how you you kind of maneuver around it teaching them right from wrong yeah no that's true my my son does the I'll say sorry if you say sorry I'm like what the fuck

Speaker 1 how did you get that and then obviously I'll just be like yeah I guess I'm sorry yeah so that way we can move on like yeah like yeah my kid will do that too be like say you're sorry for for raising your voice yeah right yelling i'm like i didn't yell exactly i just said don't do that yeah like well that was too loud right yeah

Speaker 1 the kids kids are little con men right um how bad was it looking back on pictures and seeing your bowl cut oh my god i would have done anything that's probably actually why i didn't share the story forever i went bold on purpose

Speaker 11 but it was the i have that bowl bowl cut is horrendous, but it was the 90s.

Speaker 11 And that's what they did. And the guy who, I had a guy who's cutting my hair, and I guess he was, he was probably just bored.
He just kept on doing it every single time.

Speaker 11 I probably, I had definitely had the bowl cut probably too long. I probably had it going into 2000.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because it's like, oh, sick, you got a picture with MJ. I know.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 1 Oh, it was terrible.

Speaker 4 So, how did this end? How did you guys decide, okay, the Sports Illustrator for Kids thing, I'm too old for that now?

Speaker 11 I was started getting fed up with all the stuff my dad was lying about. He wasn't treating my mom well, my sisters, and myself.
And we'd be going to these games lying.

Speaker 11 I wanted eventually a real relationship with my father that I saw was non-existent. I saw all my friends had it.
And I was also getting older.

Speaker 11 And there was always a chance that I could run into somebody that I knew at the garden. A friend that was there.
So that was always on the back of my mind.

Speaker 11 And I felt that it was kind of at its course. So I was about to be probably close to 14 at the time.
And I just said, you know, we got to, we just stopped doing it.

Speaker 11 And my relationship with my dad was kind of fizzling out.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And you did say the anecdote that you would, when you went there, you would like go as, you know, your fake press credentials, but then you would never sit with your dad.
You'd sit by yourself.

Speaker 1 So you're nine years old.

Speaker 11 Never actually having that father-son experience going to a sporting event with your dad.

Speaker 1 You're just sitting by yourself.

Speaker 11 Yeah,

Speaker 11 I would sit in the press area, or if he found me a seat, I'd be in another part of the arena where he would be taking pictures on the floor or like he would have his camera through the glass.

Speaker 1 That's crazy.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so he would actually take the pictures, though, because he was, was he like your photographer?

Speaker 11 That's what I was my photographer and wouldn't say that he was my father either, which was totally unnecessary.

Speaker 11 He could have said that he was my father, but I think that he just enjoyed not saying that he was my father and that he was a professional photographer and I was kind of this prodigy kid reporter.

Speaker 11 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, yeah, he sounds like he like got high off the lie. Yeah.
Where it's just like lying to someone makes you

Speaker 1 it's it's it's wild because I think everyone's probably had an experience We know somebody like that. Yeah, we know somebody like it's like dude, just tell the truth.

Speaker 1 It would be so much easier if you just told us the truth instead of lying. And then when we say it's a lie, you're like, well, no, it's not.
It's like, why are we doing this? Yeah.

Speaker 11 And I went to tons of therapy over

Speaker 11 time just to

Speaker 11 teach myself not to lie. I would lie with my wife about things I don't even need to lie lie about.
And then she'd be very upset with it.

Speaker 11 When I saw Top Gun Maverick, I didn't tell her about it. And then she was like, you want to go see it? And I'm like, sure.
And she's like, you saw it already, right? And I'm like, no.

Speaker 11 And she's like, you saw it. I'm like, yes.
And then she got so furious with me. But it was such a pointless lie.
Right.

Speaker 1 No reason to lie.

Speaker 11 And then in her mind, she's like, if you're lying about that, what else are you lying about?

Speaker 1 Right, right. Wow.

Speaker 4 That's crazy. So, so have you, have you made like a plan for the podcast of all the different storylines you can go down? Are you like rediscovering? Are you re-remembering some of these old things?

Speaker 4 For sure. It feels like doing the podcast itself might be almost a therapeutic experience.

Speaker 11 Definitely therapeutic because a lot of the stories I buried, I had them so far in the back of my mind, I wasn't thinking about it. And then

Speaker 11 as the more I thought, and then I started interviewing different people, my sisters, and of course, talking to old people that work for my dad. And it just brought back tons of old memories.

Speaker 11 And then just going to therapy, I would be like, oh, my God, we counterfeited money together.

Speaker 11 You know, we would get in, he would purposely get in, he would purposely get in fender benders and then, and say, you know, act like my neck hurts also, just so he could collect on an insurance claim.

Speaker 11 So these things, you know, getting thrown out of that restaurant, these are all things that I completely forgot about.

Speaker 11 You know, when we would go to a movie theater back when I was, I remember five years old, the first thing that we would do is I would sneak under the ropes and then he would go find me.

Speaker 11 And it's normal. Who hasn't snuck into a movie theater? But not with your dad.
Right.

Speaker 11 So, so and i didn't think i knew my childhood was messed up but i didn't think that it was as messed up because i'll get uh responses from people be like oh my god i can't believe you went through this and i was like oh yeah i guess my part of my childhood you know i missed out on certain things or at least a normal relationship with a parent yeah it's it like the stories going to madison square garden sounds very cool and then you're like but it was also with your dad who you're supposed to have a relationship with like that's not running cons how i don't understand how he never got arrested Yes, everything that I've been able to find, he never has been arrested.

Speaker 11 And since 1984, he's been involved in, that I've been able to find, 23 court cases. Jeez.
And that's just what I've been able to find. And these are only the stories that I know.

Speaker 11 And there's got to be so many more that he has that maybe he'll share

Speaker 11 and we'll find out.

Speaker 1 You also told a story he was not in the mafia, but he knew mafia guys and would like hang out with them. Would he take you to those places?

Speaker 11 Yeah, I never went to this place. There's a place called Wiggles, and my dad installed their payphone system and had

Speaker 11 their all their communication was done by his company. And

Speaker 11 this strip club, Wiggles, was owned by this guy, Vinnie Palermo, who was the head of the Decavalcanti crime family. And some people say that that's who Tony Soprano is based off of.

Speaker 11 And apparently, and this comes from one of my dad's ex-employees, is that he found a bug in their phone. And from that point on, these guys were completely indebted to him.
And

Speaker 11 that's the word that came from one of my dad's employees.

Speaker 11 And then, knowing my father, most more than likely, he put the bug, planted the bug, told him that, just so he could be on good terms with them.

Speaker 4 False flag.

Speaker 1 He's the hero. Yeah.

Speaker 4 So it seems,

Speaker 4 I'm not a licensed therapist, obviously, but it seems like a lot of the stuff that

Speaker 4 a con man would do is rooted in deep, deep insecurity for themselves.

Speaker 4 Yeah, like every interaction that you have, you have to feel like you're getting one over on somebody, like you're smarter than them, like you're better. For sure.

Speaker 11 These people who are successful, you know, to everybody else, let me feel better than they are.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I'm better than that guy. Everyone thinks he's high and mighty.
Tell you what, I'm going to trick him, and now I feel good. Was he ever like that? Was he trying, was he conning you?

Speaker 11 My thing with him was I played sports, I played baseball, and I played hockey. And in those senses, he would take what I was doing and use it to his advantage.

Speaker 11 If I was playing baseball, he would have to be the coach. All of a sudden, equipment for the team would be missing.

Speaker 11 And

Speaker 11 I assume that he was selling it. And he was responsible for

Speaker 11 the clubhouse that he had access to for a little league. In hockey, he was

Speaker 11 hockey basically, this is early on, where they kind of started having AAU teams, especially during my age of growing up in the 90s. And he started his own AAU hockey team, essentially.

Speaker 11 And he would overcharge the parents. And I would be playing on these teams.
I wouldn't deserve to be playing on these teams. He would have really great players.

Speaker 11 Some guys went on to play D1 in the NHL as well, but he would overcharge their parents and he would make money off of them.

Speaker 11 Meanwhile, I love playing hockey, but then you're hearing parents complaining about your father overcharging them when, you know, a hotel shouldn't cost $400. It should cost $100 or whatever.

Speaker 11 And he'd be charging these people and making money off of them and then kind of putting a bad taste in their mouths about him. And then I'm hearing about it on the bench, of course.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it sounds like

Speaker 4 a lot of complications that you have to deal with as a kid. Oh, no.

Speaker 4 And I could see why that relationship would probably get fractured at some point.

Speaker 4 So now that you're doing the podcast and you're talking about all these stories, at some point, he's going to hear the podcast, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Do you think he has already?

Speaker 11 I don't know.

Speaker 11 I haven't heard from him since the podcast has come out. So as far as I know, he hasn't unless he's preparing a lawsuit.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's got to be a concern. Yeah.

Speaker 11 I mean, maybe that would be season two. Do you want

Speaker 4 to?

Speaker 1 We probably could get sued. He's having you in here.
Yeah, yeah. I think he's a good guy.

Speaker 1 I don't believe you ever. Oh, that man, he's a stand-up guy.
Never done anything. He never told a lie in his life.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 Would you want him to reach out?

Speaker 11 You know, so, I mean, the way the podcast is going right now is that

Speaker 11 I, I tracked him down. I have his phone number, and that was an episode that just came out today.
So the next thing is just to wait and see. We're supposed to meet face to face in the podcast.
Okay.

Speaker 11 Going to the Second Avenue Deli. Yeah, Jesus.

Speaker 1 All right, so your comedy career, so you,

Speaker 1 when did it start? When did you, what was your first like big break? Or was it America's Got Talent?

Speaker 11 No, first big break was Conan. I did Conan in 2014, and then that was the first time I was ever on TV.

Speaker 11 And then the booker at the time he saw me at a comedy festival in Portland just randomly and it was there's nobody in the room and fortunately enough I went on second and he was still in he was still there and I did well and then I got booked for Conan maybe like a month later.

Speaker 1 That's awesome. Yeah.

Speaker 11 So I always wanted to do Conan too.

Speaker 1 Yeah so you did Conan and then was it from that point on it was like everything started opening up a little bit for you.

Speaker 11 Then I yeah started opening up started touring more started headlining and then I got America's Got Talent and then going pretty far in that that helped get an agent and manager and and then some more gigs and then you know fortunately enough a lot of my friends they started doing well too so guys like Nate and Sam Murrell and the guys that I've toured with Salvicano so their careers exploding as friends help friends in comedy and that's kind of been the best thing better than any agent or manager yeah they they've been definitely a deep part of any type of success that I've yeah I love that part about comedy where it's like there's little groups and if one of them you know quote unquote, makes it to that like big supernova level, they kind of bring everyone along for the ride.

Speaker 11 Yeah, and I didn't know that going in comedy.

Speaker 11 You just kind of, you think it's very secluded, that you're, you know, just going to be in isolation all the time writing jokes, but you meet a lot of people who have maybe similar pasts to you or quite, or could at least understand your past.

Speaker 11 And that's been a cool thing. And then those become your best friends.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Has Nate ever sworn around you?

Speaker 11 Never.

Speaker 11 Yeah, I try getting him every time. Yeah, he doesn't, he doesn't do it.

Speaker 11 He won't say damn, no, he told me to not say damn, actually. Really?

Speaker 1 Did I clean it up? I was like, damn, damn. Is it weird watching Nate with his dad? Who like his dad, you know, does shows with him, and it's like, he's incredible, very, it's so perfect.

Speaker 11 And his dad loves the, the, uh, the podcast, and he loves the sports stuff. So it's, but it's such a different relationship than I had with my father.
Yeah. They're so close.

Speaker 11 Yeah, Nate's dad opens for him. Yeah.
And it's, it's super cool.

Speaker 1 What? Are the Knicks back?

Speaker 11 I think, oh, my God, yeah. And especially getting bridges, it's insane.
Yeah. I love it.

Speaker 1 Villanova Knicks. Yeah.
Yeah. It's crazy.
None of your sports fandom was diminished at all by any of these things, was it?

Speaker 11 For, yeah. I mean, well, also, the Knicks and the Rangers had some bad years

Speaker 11 in the 2000s, so that kind of affected it. So I took a step away from sports, especially with my dad, as I mentioned, getting involved in hockey.

Speaker 11 I was like, let me just put the skates down, the stick down and the skates. Because I couldn't be around ice hockey anymore by the time I was 17.
Yeah. And then

Speaker 11 I'm back in it now. Yeah.

Speaker 11 It's just sports just warms your heart. You love it.

Speaker 1 It draws you back in. Yeah, and especially when you have kids, too.

Speaker 1 I want to share these moments too. Completely.

Speaker 4 Yeah, at the garden, especially, like, these playoffs were just incredible. The atmosphere there, like, I get it.
I understand why people say Madison Square Garden is like the mecha of basketball.

Speaker 4 When you see them win a playoff game and they go nuts, it was just, it felt pretty special this year. So they, yeah, the Villanova Knicks, they've got like every player from that college.

Speaker 4 Do you want Jay Wright to coach the team?

Speaker 11 I mean, that would be all. If he came back, that would be insane.
But, I mean, right now, they're great. I mean, I think that, I think coaching is kind of set, but

Speaker 11 I think that they could definitely make a run. But other teams are making moves, too.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's fun.

Speaker 1 We lived in New York for seven years, and

Speaker 11 I hate to admit it, but when you go to to a Knicks playoff game there is a different vibe to it and it's better for bass if the Knicks are doing well it's better for basketball same with hockey if the Rangers yeah I mean ESPN just sucks their dick the whole thing yeah yeah the Pacers weren't even in that series right right it was just the Knicks yeah Brunson is amazing and I met him at a game and he's such a nice guy and you always hear great stories about him and he'll help old people he's a superhero yeah Dante DiFencinjo too he's that that dude seems awesome oh he's super cool that they're they just seem like cool dudes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Brunson's helping old people?

Speaker 11 Yeah, I heard a story that like one of Sam's cousins, Sam Morrell's cousins, said that

Speaker 11 they helped his Brunson helped and his wife, I think, or girlfriend helped their grandparents carry in their groceries.

Speaker 1 Sam can't be trusted, though, with the Knicks.

Speaker 1 He's just going around just doing like guerrilla marketing for them. Like, yeah, you hear Brunson, he saved like a bunch of puppies.
Exactly. Yeah, yeah.
What? Okay, sounds good.

Speaker 4 What about on the baseball front?

Speaker 11 Baseball front, I mean, I like the Yankees, but I'm not die-hard in any which way. And I did love baseball at one point, and now I know you guys are huge baseball guys.
You know?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Huge.
Big time. Huge.

Speaker 1 Are you being facetious? Oh, no.

Speaker 1 I thought you were. No, we just did our, we do a fantasy league called Dingers Only, where we just draft nine players and the only stat is home runs.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And we start it July 3rd, which is like three months into the season. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 And we drafted like half players that were on the

Speaker 1 Super Serve. Everyone's very mad.
I mean, baseball to me is always.

Speaker 11 Oh, because I heard, yeah, the, what's his name, Christian? Yelich.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Well, we, yeah, it's a whole other issue.
I don't know.

Speaker 4 Nate would not want to hear this story.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we, we told him when he, before he, when he was on the Marlins, so before he was hitting like a ton of home runs, he was like, I think I could win a home run derby. We're like, no, you can't.

Speaker 1 And there was a porn doppelganger of him who there was a video of a guy who looked exactly like Christian Yelich eating a girl's ass.

Speaker 1 So we said stupidly, stupidly, if you ever win the Home Run Derby, we'll eat each other's ass.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 he, the one year that he, he, did he win MVP? I think he won MVP that year. He got hurt right before the Derby.
So we dodged that. But I think he's going to be in the Derby this year.

Speaker 1 So we might have to eat. Eat ass.
We might have to eat each other's ass. Yeah.
He could end this podcast. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Really stupid.

Speaker 11 Or make some good money, you know. People into that.

Speaker 4 But at what cost? Right. It would just be Bella.
I don't know if I could look Big Cat in the eye.

Speaker 1 Well, you won't have to. Yeah, the brown eye.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 it's going to be bad. That's actually a really bad thing that is in the back of my head.
I don't like your dad. Yeah, yeah.
Like, just bury it.

Speaker 1 And every now and then it comes up and triggers a memory. Right.
And we're like, oh, fuck. We have to get to say that.

Speaker 4 Go to therapy. We should actually have a therapist on the show.
Like in Billions, how they have Wendy that just sits in the corner. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 11 You need somebody, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What's the hardest part about comedy?

Speaker 11 Hardest part.

Speaker 11 I mean, coming up with new jokes is super hard because you might think you have a new joke, then you have to test it on stage, and then it might not work are you going to be able to are you going to use your dad now like because that i might that feels like a treasure trove of material i might i'm definitely you know letting so much out in the podcast so i i mean i i i do sprinkle it in a little bit on in my set right now so we'll see how it goes and as time goes on but uh yeah if there if there's room for it you know it's if now that people know the story and then you know if they come to see me that gives it a little bit more weight so it kind of helps yeah the the it must be be a weird feeling, too, now that you're a public figure, knowing that all this time your dad probably was still scamming using your name.

Speaker 11 Yeah, telling people.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like that's my son.

Speaker 11 Yeah, that's my son, for sure.

Speaker 1 Like, that's crazy to think about that he was. That's something I always was.

Speaker 11 Yeah, I've thought about that.

Speaker 11 And, you know, I had concerns about him even showing up into my life before I went and approached him until now, which was when my wife and I got married, we had to tell security at the wedding venue, this is what my father looks like.

Speaker 11 Make sure you don't let him in because who knows? We're like, maybe he shows up and dresses up as a waiter. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 That would be that'd be wild, though, if you got super, super famous, most popular stand-up comedian in America, and then your dad's out there somewhere telling everyone that's my son.

Speaker 4 And they're like, dude, stop bullshitting us. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 No, this is the only real

Speaker 1 thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's that could very well happen. Yeah, maybe.
We're rooting for you.

Speaker 1 So, so the whole story and everything coming out,

Speaker 1 what has your friend's reactions been? Are they like, well, now I understand you a little more?

Speaker 11 My wife says that now. Really?

Speaker 11 Yeah, she's like, oh, wow, you mean you really, I mean, she knows all this stuff, but now just hearing it and you're like, oh, you could have went one, I mean, there's only one or two ways.

Speaker 1 There's no in the middle.

Speaker 11 You have to, you're either going extreme, extreme liar, or you're going to be, you know, I like to think decently honest, you know, pretty honest.

Speaker 11 So I try and, you know, tell the truth and be a good person, be a good father, because I could have been a bad father, and that was kind of what was taught to me.

Speaker 4 But maybe, maybe you're being a con man right now. I know.
Maybe none of this is true.

Speaker 1 All of his

Speaker 4 spin. All of his lessons that he kind of gave you.
Right. But you're just, you're taking

Speaker 1 up. Yeah.
Your dad's actually literally the number one dad. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's all in plain sight. Yeah.
You did that as a joke, but it's reverse.

Speaker 11 Yeah, just so my son could have a podcast.

Speaker 4 That would actually be a fantastic ending to the podcast.

Speaker 4 This has been a con.

Speaker 11 Here's my dad he's a sweetheart yeah and i just knew that i would get good content out of this right but i i like what you said and it's and i i thought of that recently but he exploited me as a kid trying to use me whether it was sports or you know going to the games together and getting what he wants out of those lies and then now it's kind of my turn yeah huh yeah you get back at him have you can you take what what you've experienced with your dad and are you better at spotting another con man because oh yeah absolutely i mean also the key is just think think everybody's lying to you yeah that's one it does think that everybody's full of shit and most people most people are i mean you a lot of times you go and you start talking to people if they're at a party people start bragging about they're already they're already lying because you're trying to uh be entertaining you're trying to sound interesting yeah so a lot of a lot of things that people are saying to you are gonna be false yeah and it is that like first feeling of oh i just got conned like it does change you where you're like all right now i'm looking at everyone and not like i'm not gonna take them fully at face value.

Speaker 1 Cause I find myself, I struggle with that, where I think I'm too trusting of a person sometimes. And it's like, I could, you know.

Speaker 11 You're trusting where the guy.

Speaker 11 The Stella Blue Coffee, last time I was here, you're like, I'm sending it. And you did.
You sent it.

Speaker 1 I did. Yeah, yeah.
Oh, I didn't even do it. Nice.
Fuck yes.

Speaker 11 I did too.

Speaker 11 But a lot of times people give, you know, empty promises and they'll say they're going to do something

Speaker 11 and they don't. So, you know, you're my good girl.
That's this because you kept your word. You're an honest man.

Speaker 1 That's probably credit to Paige, who's our office manager here who's fantastic i probably was like hey send him some so credit to her she did the hard work right but i at least said please send him some it happened it happened i want to go back to howie mandel real quick so uh america's got talent howie's a recurring guest on the show

Speaker 11 interesting guy yeah did he ever he never shook your hand right never shook my hand i've opened for him too he's had me open for him in ac I bombed too it was not a not a fun crowd to uh perform in front of ac's oh a lot of trash there and uh but he's a good guy, Howie.

Speaker 4 He's a good guy. So I would assume that doing stand-up comedy for him and Howard Stern would be you'd be like thinking in the back of your head, like, oh, fuck, this is

Speaker 4 Howard Stern.

Speaker 11 Yeah, super cool. Yeah.
Howard Stern was one of the judges on AGT when I was there.

Speaker 11 And Howie being there. And you're seeing them because you grew up listening to them and seeing them on TV.
And obviously, they're both very famous. But that is definitely in the back of my mind.

Speaker 11 But even more so, these shows were live. They were live.
So

Speaker 11 I am at Radio City. So you have a lot going on where you kind of don't even care that it's Howie Mendel and Howard Cern.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 Backstage, it must have been quite a scene, though. Like, when I think of America's Got Talent and the casts that are on there, you've got like a guy with seven dogs.
You've got acrobats, dancers.

Speaker 11 Oh, it's terrible.

Speaker 11 It was awful.

Speaker 11 The whole scene back there, it's very hectic. You're waiting to go on, and then you only have a couple minutes to perform on the show.
And meanwhile, the person before you,

Speaker 11 on my shows,

Speaker 11 they would have a singer, and they wouldn't even be singing an original song.

Speaker 11 On my show, sometimes they do sing original songs, and that's cool. But when they're not singing an original song, and then they're getting a standing ovation, to me, it's karaoke.

Speaker 1 Yeah, really.

Speaker 1 I'm doing my joke.

Speaker 11 And I wanted to say that to the judges, but then you seem like you're a dick. Yeah.
But it's true.

Speaker 4 And also going out there, sometimes the act before you, they stink, and then it's a cold audience, and now you've got two minutes. Like, just jump right into your stand-up routine.
Completely.

Speaker 4 There's no build-up whatsoever for it. You just got to be like, okay, I got to be funny within the first, like, five seconds of being on stage.
For sure.

Speaker 11 And comedy works better when there's comedy a little bit before you. Right.

Speaker 11 An audience just needs to start hearing jokes and just getting warmed up. So the whole setting is tough, but

Speaker 11 whatever the lineup that they had me in, it definitely worked to my advantage somehow.

Speaker 1 Was there any reservation of doing America's Got Talent that it was like not a comics-comic move?

Speaker 1 Like you're kind of doing this thing where people are going to look at you and be like, it's kind of cheap.

Speaker 6 For sure. Really?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 11 In the back of your mind, you just don't want to be, it's kind of an icky feel of you don't want to be associated with it.

Speaker 11 It's not as, it's not as cool as a cone in or being in the light of, you know, just, I don't know, kind of a cool vibe.

Speaker 1 Right. Which is a crazy thing to be like, I'd rather grind it out in clubs and have this like be on network television in front of me.

Speaker 11 I guess an advantage is not winning it. Yeah, true.
Because then you don't have the label, but you still have, oh, I was on and you have cool clips.

Speaker 4 I still feel like a lot of comics or a lot of people from America's Got Talent have from America's Got Talent after their name.

Speaker 1 Who's the most famous America's Got Talent person?

Speaker 4 Jeff Dunham.

Speaker 1 I don't think he's. Puppet guy, was he?

Speaker 1 Who's the most successful?

Speaker 4 He brought puppets back.

Speaker 11 Maybe Gary Veter.

Speaker 1 Yeah, maybe

Speaker 1 you. It might be you.
Most successful America's Talent.

Speaker 11 Gary Veteran and Manny Veter. That just

Speaker 1 if it was like.

Speaker 4 Did they do like a puff piece on you or like a sob story?

Speaker 11 Yeah, well, I lied in my sob story. I said that I had, well, there's two things I lied about.

Speaker 11 One, I said that I had a roommate at the time because I didn't have material yet about having a girlfriend. We were about to get married.

Speaker 11 So I made up a whole story about having a roommate, and that was my backstory. And my roommate

Speaker 11 was played by a comedian, Greg Stone, and he was kind of just a piece of garbage, and he would steal from me. So that was kind of my backstory.
But

Speaker 11 I was actually getting married at that time, and I didn't want to share that with them because I I didn't want them to ruin the wedding, yeah.

Speaker 11 So it was either them or my father that was that I was thinking was gonna ruin my wedding, yeah, but I don't recognize any of these names, Terry, Terry Fader,

Speaker 1 he's an impressionist.

Speaker 11 A lot of these guys, if you win, you get a show in Vegas. I don't know if they, I'm pretty sure they still do that, but um, yeah,

Speaker 11 that name sounds familiar.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it'd be funny if it was just like if I was scrolling like Kawhi Leonard, yeah, yeah,

Speaker 1 he just went and dribbled and was like, oh, shit.

Speaker 1 Olate dogs won in season seven.

Speaker 4 I remember them, yeah. Yeah, a bunch of like little small white dogs that did all these tricks and jumped through hoops.

Speaker 1 Matt Franco, I don't know. I don't recognize any of these.

Speaker 11 I was on season 10.

Speaker 1 Paul Zerden. Yeah, so you lost to a puppeteer.

Speaker 11 Yeah, puppeteer ventriloquist.

Speaker 1 That's brutal, dude. Yeah, it was tough.

Speaker 1 It was really tough. That's the most tragic thing that's ever happened in your life.
Because you try, yeah, I know.

Speaker 11 You try, you do, and you try so hard to be funny, and this is a set I'm going to be doing. And you run it, even though it's two, three minutes that year, you're going to be on stage.

Speaker 11 And then, yeah, you lose to a guy who's a ventriloquist.

Speaker 4 What's also tough about America's Got Talent as a comedian is they've got, don't they have the like buzzers, the X's, if they don't like you? Yeah.

Speaker 4 So you can, like, tell one joke, and then you would just hear buzzers, and then you have to keep going until they all X you out, right?

Speaker 11 Oh, completely. And Heidi Klum did not like me whatsoever.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit.

Speaker 11 And she was still pretty attractive back then. Yeah, bro.

Speaker 11 And also, I thought, you know, I loved her. too, growing up.

Speaker 11 So then hearing that, it's part of you as you're a kid when you're talking to one of these people that you knew back then, you know, in your mind.

Speaker 11 And I remember her saying that she didn't like my comedy.

Speaker 1 It hurt.

Speaker 11 But I'm at the, and then I'm like, screw her. She doesn't even know the language.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Good point. Right.
You're where you got this.

Speaker 4 Wasn't Red Panda on America's Got Talent? I don't think so.

Speaker 1 Shin Lim was the big winner. I know he's got like a whole act in Vegas.
I feel like that's why she got discovered.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Season eight, America's Got Talent.

Speaker 6 Was Red Panda? Red Panda.

Speaker 4 That's where she got discovered from, yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, she should, she's the most successful.

Speaker 4 She's the most talented talented person.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. I have, I have a couple last questions.
Appreciate you coming by.

Speaker 1 Everyone go listen to Number One Dad. It's an incredible podcast.

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Speaker 1 Do you think there's going to be a movie or a show out of this?

Speaker 11 Right now, working on writing up a TV show. Yeah.
And

Speaker 11 any cameos.

Speaker 1 Oh, absolutely. Podcasting.
I think it would be cool. I could see you guys in it.

Speaker 1 We are like, we strike out on every cameo.

Speaker 11 No, but if it was up to me, I want to throw in as many of my friends as possible. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's super cool. Are you going to play your dad? That'd be cool.

Speaker 11 I mean, maybe. I mean, they might need a bigger name or something, but I would be totally down.
And I think I could do it. Yeah.
Sure.

Speaker 11 And I think that it would be cool because it could be, you know, definitely a nostalgia piece. So back in the 90s,

Speaker 11 maybe mixing, you know, present day, especially me being a father now and stuff like that.

Speaker 11 I think it would be really cool. But whether it's a TV show or movie, I think it has legs for.

Speaker 1 What about,

Speaker 1 so I know that the ant, I know probably the answer to this, but has there ever been a small part of you that's like, let's go to a game and pretend that we're someone else?

Speaker 11 Yeah,

Speaker 11 absolutely. Yeah, you wouldn't want to do it, especially when I had no money.

Speaker 11 It's all I was thinking. I was like, I could go to these games and I could probably get in and figure out a way.
Yeah. And I do know how, but it would make me look so bad.
I can't, I can't say it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 11 Think of the worst thing, and that's how I'm getting it.

Speaker 4 One time I tried to sneak into RFK Stadium. It was the Nationals' first year, and it was the 4th of July.
I was drunk.

Speaker 4 I was shirtless, and I went up to the media entrance, and I told them, I was like, yeah, you have my name on the list. And they're like, no, we don't.
What's your name?

Speaker 4 I told them I was Michael Wilbon. And they said, no, you're not Mike Wilbon.
He's black. And I was like, Touche.

Speaker 4 That was my biggest experience. But Hank, our producer, he used to sneak into the Boston Garden, what, like, almost every night.

Speaker 1 With butter knife.

Speaker 6 With a butter knife.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he did. There was one door that had a latch on it that you could just go up to and wiggle, get into the garden.

Speaker 1 And he, like, early Barstool days when the Blackhawks played the Bronze at Stanley Cup and Dave and I went to a bunch of the games and we were looking for tickets for one of the games, Hank was like, we could just butter knife in.

Speaker 1 And we're like, dude, we can't. Like, do you imagine the look of us like trying to break into the Stanley Cup? Right, right.
Like, he just didn't even think about it. He's like, it'd be no problem.

Speaker 1 We'll just butter knife in. I know the door.
But yeah, he used to do that all the time.

Speaker 4 One thing I do agree with your dad on: it's fun to sneak in places. Oh, yeah.
That's very fun.

Speaker 1 It's a thrill.

Speaker 11 It's absolutely. You have a rush.

Speaker 11 There's something about it. There's something about not paying for something and then getting away with it.
You got to see something that was amazing. Seeing game seven of the Stanley Cup.

Speaker 11 I was at Jordan. The time I met Jordan was at his double nickel game.
That's crazy. So it just wound up being this historic event that I was able to go to completely for free.

Speaker 1 And you got to interview Jordan one-on-one after?

Speaker 11 I did. He was in a private locker room.
It was him, Phil Jackson, and a few other assistant coaches. And then I just went in there.
I only asked him one question.

Speaker 11 I asked him what his favorite food was. I was so freaking nervous that it was Jordan.

Speaker 11 and i i mean i would i couldn't believe that we were able to do that yeah and that game the actual real sports illustrated for kids was there and this is the only time they ever they were ever at a game and they weren't it wasn't a kids reporter it was uh two adults they didn't use kids back then and wait what yeah they didn't use kids So that was another part.

Speaker 11 Nobody even asked.

Speaker 1 It was scammed.

Speaker 4 It was for kids, not by kids.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

Speaker 11 But eventually they wound up using kid reporters. Maybe they got it from my dad.
Yeah.

Speaker 11 But at the game, we found out that they were there, and my dad went up to them and asked them for their business cards.

Speaker 11 I don't think he led on that we were saying that we were Sports Illustrated for kids, but he said whatever to them, got their business cards, and when it came time at the end of the game to go in, security let us in, didn't let them in.

Speaker 11 I go in, meet Michael Jordan. We're coming out, and then they were still trying to get in.

Speaker 1 That's crazy. Yeah.

Speaker 11 Man, and not only this, I was, I found this out because we interviewed and we had to cut it for the podcast, but I was the last person to interview Michael jordan for sports illustrated for kids because he didn't take any interviews with sports illustrated they had an article called bag at michael titled bag at michael and from then on he said i'm never uh interviewing with sports illustrated again so you were the only one yeah he let me slide because mine was in 95 and that article came out in like early 95 or 94.

Speaker 1 and and you weren't even sports illustrated yeah you need to get in touch with mj and be like listen your boycott actually stands yeah i didn't actually work for sports illustrated right yeah it still works which What was his answer, though?

Speaker 4 What's his favorite steak? Favorite fruit steak. Yeah.
Good choice. Good answer.

Speaker 1 Good answer.

Speaker 1 Steak's good. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, Gary, thank you, man.
Anytime you're in Chicago, you got to come by.

Speaker 1 We appreciate it. And everyone, please go listen to Number One Dad.
I can't recommend it enough.

Speaker 1 It's like a very nice, refreshing change of pace of like, it's in the line of a true crime podcast, but you don't have to listen to someone getting murdered. Yeah, yeah.
That's the best.

Speaker 1 It might be your elevator pain.

Speaker 11 Maybe my dad did murder somebody and I I don't know about it, but it's not in the podcast.

Speaker 1 I feel like he didn't have that in him. Like, he's just gets off on lies.

Speaker 11 I think he's the type of person that he could be adjacent, he'd be adjacent to it. Yeah, not he would never have the blood on his hand, right?

Speaker 1 Right, right. Well, thanks so much, man, and uh, best of luck with everything uh going on with this podcast and the show.
Thank you both

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's wrap up Firefest of the week. Hank,

Speaker 7 I have

Speaker 7 bicep tendonitis in my right arm from hitting dingers.

Speaker 4 Sorry to hear that.

Speaker 1 Hold on.

Speaker 1 Is that bad for golf?

Speaker 4 It's terrible for golf.

Speaker 1 Why?

Speaker 7 Because I can't really lift my arm. It hurts to lift my right arm.
So the backswing,

Speaker 7 there's a lot of pain.

Speaker 1 A lot of pain.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I saw you try to eat an ice cream cone today, and when you couldn't eat an ice cream cone, I knew it was significant.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I mean, it's not like, you know, debilitating pain. And

Speaker 7 I talked to an esteemed doctor, aka a chiropractor, at the office yesterday, and he gave me some exercises to work on. It feels better today than yesterday.

Speaker 7 But I keep doing things and reaching for things and going to lift things up and just being like, ah, ah, ah. So, yeah, I was trying to eat ice cream and almost died.

Speaker 4 Here's a good exercise, Hank. Put your elbow kind of down at your side.
Bend your arm at 90 degrees.

Speaker 1 Lower it a little bit. Lower your elbow.

Speaker 4 Yeah, drop your whole arm a little bit. Wing it down a little bit.
No, no, like this.

Speaker 1 Hank, look at my arm.

Speaker 4 Like that. Bring it down.

Speaker 1 Bring down over to you.

Speaker 4 Bend it over to your.

Speaker 4 Now start moving your wrist back and forth.

Speaker 1 You don't know what he's trying to do. Like that.

Speaker 4 There you go. That's good.

Speaker 1 He's trying to get you to jerk off, Hank. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Just do that a lot. You'll be fine.

Speaker 1 I've just searched it. That's like golfer's elbow.
Is it the same thing as golfer's elbow?

Speaker 7 I don't know. Is that what it says? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 That's bad. So, Hank, when I fucked my elbow up a couple years ago, you remember that?

Speaker 4 I had like the UCL when my fingers went numb from swinging a golf club.

Speaker 4 I actually got injected. Billy Football injected those research chemicals into my arm, and they worked.
Now, the downside to this is you have to let Billy Football inject you with research chemicals,

Speaker 1 but it worked.

Speaker 4 So the question is, how bad do you want to golf?

Speaker 7 We'll see. I'm just going to ride it out and just hope I wake up tomorrow and I'm fine.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 that's the point. Like it's a wait-and-see approach.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. I don't hate that.

Speaker 7 Ice heat, ice heat.

Speaker 4 Is that medically advised? Ice.

Speaker 1 Ice heat. Have you done any of that? Yeah.
What's the heat?

Speaker 7 Like a heating, like a

Speaker 7 heating pad for when I

Speaker 7 blew my back out a few years ago.

Speaker 4 Yeah. I'm pretty sure you just have to go ice or you just have to go heat.
I don't know what ice heat, ice heat does.

Speaker 1 Well, ice is right after you injure it. Yeah.

Speaker 4 First like 48 hours.

Speaker 1 Heat, it can be used when you're like, if he's like actually going to go out and play, it can help warm up the muscles. I don't know if sitting on your couch, a heat does much, but I'm not a doctor.

Speaker 4 Well, good luck, Hank. Thank you.

Speaker 1 Ice is a great choice for the first 72 hours. Like I said, so maybe I am a doctor.
Heat, on the other hand, helps soothe stiff joints. So I actually nailed that.

Speaker 1 That's heat is what you do when you want to go play and you want it to feel like warm and

Speaker 1 good.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I just don't know if you should do both at the same time.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. Oh, that's hot ice.
Well, Well, hot.

Speaker 4 You said ice heat, ice, heat.

Speaker 7 Ice it, and then

Speaker 1 heating pap. Yeah.
Okay. Well, good luck.
Thanks.

Speaker 4 I really want you to be happy. Because

Speaker 4 I can't take this, Hank, for the rest of the day.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I think we said it would be a shame if he got hurt and couldn't golf. Now that we're here, it is a shame.
It fucking sucks. Because I need, it's like having a dog, like on a rainy day,

Speaker 1 a hyper-active. Like Lerog.

Speaker 4 Yeah,

Speaker 4 you're like Blake.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. You're a a hyperactive.

Speaker 1 No, like Blake is like that.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and he had two elbow injuries. Yeah, but you and he couldn't go out and play.
And yeah, he was a pain in the ass.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and you're stuck inside, and you're like, man, I wish I could just get my dog to run around. Yeah.
He would be a lot happier in sleep.

Speaker 1 We need you to play some golf, so you'd be a lot happier in sleep.

Speaker 4 I actually have some of his old anxiety medication that I use to keep him calm. Maybe Hank could use some of that.

Speaker 4 Put a cone on you.

Speaker 1 You'll have to talk to a dog to make sure that it's okay to take. So we'll have Pug see if you can take that medicine.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I think it should be fine.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay.

Speaker 4 Uh, my fire fest of the week is I've gone down a rabbit hole and I've got a new hobby.

Speaker 1 Oh, because I've gone down a rabbit hole too, and I think that the driver actually was the one who shot JFK.

Speaker 1 But go ahead.

Speaker 4 Oh, in like way back in the day. Yeah.
Well, you can bet your ass that it wasn't the story we're being told.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Because the Secret Service agent said he found that that bullet.

Speaker 1 That bullet. Dude, I watched one video and it looked like the driver turned around.
Either way, I'm down other rabbit holes. Go ahead.
Back into the left.

Speaker 4 Yeah. So my rabbit hole is just about growing weed.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 So I've been talking to a lot of people about it. I think I'm going to start growing weed on my rooftop, which is legal.
It's totally legal for personal use.

Speaker 4 But they said I got to go to a store and ask for a clone. And then when you get the clone, then you can grow it.
And then the trick is to harvest it before it gets too mature.

Speaker 4 That way I can get my mids. Nice.
My perfectly average average weed. Nice.
And then if it does well, maybe I'll experiment with it.

Speaker 4 It does well, then maybe we get into the weed business and we sell PM THC.

Speaker 1 I like it.

Speaker 4 What do you guys think about that?

Speaker 1 I like it.

Speaker 7 I've gone down this rabbit hole before.

Speaker 8 The key is when

Speaker 7 you're ready to pluck it, it's drying it out.

Speaker 1 So you got to wait.

Speaker 1 You got to wait.

Speaker 4 You got to dry it properly or else you're just going to spend months growing weed and then you go to smoking and it's just wet as hell and pointless yeah so i've heard so i i need to talk to somebody that has experience of this my aunt actually grew weed when it became legal in virginia she had her own plants and then she gave me some of it like in bags and it was like the most 1960s yeah ever with like seeds and stuff i don't want that i want i want like just decent weed also i've heard if your friend if your friend that you're growing it with wants to like pluck it soon because they really just want to smoke it but it's like if you're supposed to wait an extra couple weeks and you get a lot more yeah just wait okay if my friend tells me that, okay, what would you say to people who say that you're a drug guy?

Speaker 1 I'm not a drug guy.

Speaker 4 Okay, marijuana is not a drug. Growing weeds.
It's an herb. It comes from the earth.
Watch this video.

Speaker 1 Watch this video.

Speaker 7 Is this Ravel? No, this is.

Speaker 4 No, I don't want to watch this. No, it's fine.

Speaker 1 This is Ravel. No, I know.
No, it's not. It's not, it's not HK 8K.

Speaker 1 Look, the driver. The driver turns around.
Bang. Oh.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I said, hold you, I've been down some rabbit holes.

Speaker 1 I unfortunately have gotten into a very bad.

Speaker 7 I mean, this has to be an edited video.

Speaker 11 That video of the guy is holding a gun.

Speaker 1 There's no way that that is the video.

Speaker 1 That is the most edited video of all time. My algorithm.
He goes around with a gun in his hand. My algorithm is so toxic.
That is,

Speaker 1 there's no way. Yeah.
I clicked on like three things a week ago, and it's gotten crazy. The internet that I've gotten into is crazy.
So, yeah, I saw this. And yeah, now I think the driver's in this.

Speaker 1 I'm not.

Speaker 4 My mind's still open about this. Yeah, okay.
I guess JFK's. That's fine.
Just

Speaker 1 click. Is that too soon?

Speaker 4 No.

Speaker 1 You're good. Just click more of those videos and you'll see it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it probably is edited. You're right, Hank.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he's crazy. Have you guys seen the octopus murders on Netflix? No.
So it's a crazy, crazy documentary series.

Speaker 4 One part of it is this dude who claims to be CIA brings somebody in, shows them the video, and then edits something into it and tells them, like, this is the video that you haven't seen your entire life.

Speaker 4 And then that person spends the rest of their life not knowing what video is real and drives them nuts. Now I don't know what's real.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's all simulation. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, my Firefest. Hiccup.
Yeah, that's a hiccup. My Fire Fest.

Speaker 1 On Tuesday night, we hit Dingers. It was a lot of fun with the boys.

Speaker 1 But I think I'm

Speaker 1 officially washed because

Speaker 1 it was one of those things.

Speaker 1 I had so much fun being out with the guys i'm not claiming i was ever a great athlete but i do think a younger self i could have probably hit more dingers and uh it was halfway through the whole competition and i looked at the leaderboard and it was like me titus chief brandon and i did the math and it was like every guy who's 37 plus and max obviously played college ball like max was a fucking beast so i would never thought that i was gonna hit as many dingers as max but it just dawned on me that it might be time I might be washed Hank did what Hank Hank thought he was going to hit as many as me I don't know I don't understand I don't I don't understand Max where are you going after Hank this is no no no no this is crazy this is like this is

Speaker 7 this is good I am a competitive person we are a team max is by far and away the best hitter So I'm I'm striving for something.

Speaker 7 Like, you want to be the best, and in order to be the best, you have to beat the best. Now, did I think I had any chance of beating Max? No.
If we did that 100 times, would I beat him once?

Speaker 6 Maybe. But, like,

Speaker 1 I think you thought you were going to beat him at one point.

Speaker 7 I didn't think I wanted to beat him.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 But I never thought I was going to beat him. But I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to beat the person who's the best.

Speaker 4 Here's a question. Right? Like, I'm not going to lie, it seems

Speaker 4 Max was up at the plate. Were you rooting for him to hit home runs?

Speaker 1 Yes, because I wanted to leave.

Speaker 4 Or were you happy when he didn't hit home runs?

Speaker 7 I wanted him to hit home runs.

Speaker 1 Was there any point where you were

Speaker 1 rooting for him to not hit home runs?

Speaker 7 No, if it had gotten closer, maybe, but it.

Speaker 1 So at the beginning, when it was close?

Speaker 7 It never, no, because it took me a couple of rounds to get hot. There was a point where I was like maybe six or seven behind, and I would, but I also was, my arm was fucked.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Hank was awesome.

Speaker 10 Yeah, yeah, no. But I will say, like, when you came up to me, we're like, how many did you hit last round? And then someone was like, are you trying to beat him? You're like, it's keeping me in it.

Speaker 1 It's keeping me in it. And then

Speaker 1 that kept that.

Speaker 10 Like, I was kind of like cruising. and then you said that.
I was like, all right, now we just have to hit a home run on it.

Speaker 1 So, that was good. Thank you.
You did, you did.

Speaker 4 Iron sharpens iron. Yes, and then I ended up.

Speaker 1 But then people were like, I can't believe you want to beat me.

Speaker 7 I was like, Yes, I don't, I don't, there's nothing against Max. It wouldn't have mattered who, you know, the best person was.
Like,

Speaker 7 why do something if you don't want to try and win it?

Speaker 1 Okay. No, yeah, and it kept me more involved, too.

Speaker 4 I can see both sides. Many fine people on both sides.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was fun. It was a lot of fun, but I'm so much fun.
I'm watching. I'm so much fun.
It was the first time.

Speaker 1 I mean, there's been other times, but it was the first real time where I was like, if I were 10 years younger, I feel like I would be hitting more home runs.

Speaker 1 And I like, I was maxing out everything I had, and it wasn't that good.

Speaker 4 Well, you didn't have to swing that hard, right? Because it was only 215 feet. Right.
You just made decent content.

Speaker 1 No, I wasn't maxing out my swings. I'm saying I was maxing out the fact that I was tired after four swings.

Speaker 6 I think you were the third furthest ball.

Speaker 1 But still, I was just not.

Speaker 1 That actually proves my point even more that I feel like it was there at some point and it's just completely gone now. So that hurts.
That hurts. Shout out Ebo.
He was a fucking.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Ebo was a monster. And that's the thing.
I'm not deluding myself to think if I were 25 years old, I hit the fifth. Fifth, fifth.
That sounds close enough.

Speaker 1 If I were 25 years old, Max would still kick my ass. Ebo would still kick my ass.
I just think I would personally have performed that. That school is hilarious.

Speaker 7 They put my fucking film school.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they put your film school. Also, Jersey Jerry's just bar stool.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So, yeah, it was a lot of fun.
Thank you for everyone who watched. Just hitting dingers.
We got to do it again. It was just, we should just do it and not even count it.

Speaker 4 I'm down to do it just casually. Yeah, it was

Speaker 1 so much fun.

Speaker 4 Taking BP rocks. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was so much fun.

Speaker 1 Okay, Matthew, did you get a Fire Fest?

Speaker 1 Yep. Okay.

Speaker 1 City Living. uh, very new for me.
Okay, uh, I grew up, uh, my house is a next to a farm. You're a country mouse, yeah.
That's all I know is uh, fresh air and nothing else.

Speaker 1 Uh, so yeah, just trying to get like, and like, you know, trying to get here, like a 45-minute walk doesn't seem like that big of a deal to me.

Speaker 1 But when I said that yesterday, Jerry had a pissy fit when he was like, Well, 45 minutes, that's a long, that's a long walk, yeah. So, I know small stuff like that.

Speaker 1 Uh, there's a bus, there's a train, there's an Uber, yeah, uh, planes, Planes, trains, and automobiles.

Speaker 9 Yeah,

Speaker 1 it's

Speaker 1 anxiety-filled. Just trying to pick which one is best for me at that particular time of day.

Speaker 4 So, what's your commute like so far? What have you done? Did you ride a bike?

Speaker 1 I mean, I'm fucking fat, dude.

Speaker 1 Sorry.

Speaker 9 I'm sorry.

Speaker 7 I'm sorry.

Speaker 10 I also really like the way you're wearing your headphones.

Speaker 1 No one has worn their headphones like that at all.

Speaker 7 I'm sorry, Matthew.

Speaker 1 My dad thought about bringing an electric bike. Yeah.
But I'm like, dude, I live on the fourth floor. So I'm just going to bring an electric bike up four floors every night.

Speaker 1 You're not going to be fat after that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But yeah, just trying to get around and understand,

Speaker 1 get a feel for the streets and the environment. Having roommates is a new thing that's

Speaker 1 not family.

Speaker 1 So that's, you know, I feel like I can't be as comfortable with them.

Speaker 4 Are they random roommates?

Speaker 1 Just random guys. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're dudes. They're normal, like, 30-year-old guys, you know, normal jobs and stuff nine to five so kind of can go off of that But yeah, what do you think they

Speaker 1 think they like your vibe so far? Do they like barstool? Dude, I don't know anything about these people. You don't see them?

Speaker 1 I saw the one guy. He leaves today and the other guy I haven't seen.
And he just was just different times.

Speaker 1 You know, I hear him. I got home yesterday at midnight.
I heard somebody come home at two in the morning. Oh, but I think it was the guy leaving today.

Speaker 1 So then I heard another guy there today at like 6 a.m.

Speaker 1 And then he left, but I heard somebody else in there. So I don't know who there could be 13 people people in that back hallway.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 But I know there isn't one person in that front bedroom and that's me.

Speaker 4 Are you sharing a bathroom? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. One shared bathroom.
Again, haven't even run into them. So it's been perfect timing every time.

Speaker 1 All right. That's a good fire fact.

Speaker 4 Wait, did you try to walk? Did you try to do the 45 minutes?

Speaker 1 No, I do plan on that. That's a weekend trip.
I'm thinking I'm just going to make sure to do it on a weekend day, make sure I kind of get the route, kind of get a feel for it.

Speaker 4 You're going to take a dry run on a weekend.

Speaker 1 Yeah, just, you you know, take two hours. Well, match you for it.
When you're here late, I'll take care of your Ubers, okay? So when you're here, like, you know, past dinner time,

Speaker 1 we'll talk and I'll make sure that you can take an Uber home. Okay, that sounds good.
Thank you very much. You don't need to take a bus at midnight.
Yeah, well, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Is that what you did last night? No, I took an oh, no, memes drove me home last night. Oh, yeah.
So that was fun. That's funny.
Yeah, that was fun.

Speaker 1 What was that conversation like?

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 was there one? Yeah, there was. We had about 40, 60, 40 to 70 words said.
Okay. Yeah, it was nice.
It was a quick drive. It was a, you know, we didn't have time to get into it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But yeah, great guy. What did memes say? What do you lead off with? You know, it was just, you know, asking the simple questions.
You know, you know, how was the day? Everything good?

Speaker 1 You know, you know, don't worry too much. Everything's going to be all right.
You know, just get, you know, I'm a little stressed out. It's a lot.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, everyone's been awesome. Okay.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Just be like, if you start to post online and you get a lot of traction and maybe you're really good with social media, just don't take any any more rides from memes.

Speaker 4 He also has a series coaching because he will take you out.

Speaker 1 You were a coach? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I forgot about this. Three years.
For what? Defensive coordinator. Middle school.
Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We went, what was our fourth? I think we got like eight wins, three seasons.

Speaker 1 Total. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And you came at me for my coaching? Hey, man, I got 12-year-olds on my hand. You got grown men.
You know?

Speaker 1 I got kids trying to live dreams. So what was the most complex defense you were on in? Oh, I mean,

Speaker 1 very similar to Coach Doug's, four plays. Okay, all right.

Speaker 1 We had an Alabama and a Michigan, and that was just blitz up the middle or blitz on the outside. Okay.
So, you know, just switch it up every now and again.

Speaker 1 And middle meant Michigan. So, you know, middle, you know, just keep it simple for these kids.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 One kid I coached, name was Marquise Johnson. He's a third-string receiver right now at the University of Missouri.
Whoa. Yeah.
Literally knew him when he couldn't even tackle.

Speaker 1 And now he's, you know, catching balls down the field. Do you think he would recognize you? Yeah, I mean, I haven't changed much.
Yeah. I only lost six pounds since.

Speaker 1 Six pounds. That's big.
I didn't gain a single one. All right.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Numbers. Let's Matthew pick first.
Go ahead. 42.
20. 56.
Eight.

Speaker 6 He's going to get it.

Speaker 1 40.

Speaker 1 That was so fun. What was your number? 99, Pug.

Speaker 4 56, Matthew? Oh, 20. 42.
42.

Speaker 1 47.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 6 I thought it was.

Speaker 10 I thought that was it.

Speaker 1 That was crazy. That would have been unbelievable.

Speaker 4 Love you guys.

Speaker 4 me for your love, kid.

Speaker 4 Make me

Speaker 4 up.

Speaker 4 I'll be

Speaker 4 home.

Speaker 4 And don't want you.

Speaker 4 Needless to say,

Speaker 4 I won't say it. It's about me standing over.

Speaker 4 Then bodies are saying

Speaker 4 It's the better to be safe inside with sight

Speaker 4 It's the better to be safe inside with inside

Speaker 4 Take me

Speaker 4 up

Speaker 4 I

Speaker 4 will

Speaker 4 do your dream

Speaker 4 Save

Speaker 4 Just a payment

Speaker 4 away

Speaker 4 You all the things I've got to remember. You can shine away.

Speaker 4 All they can be to do anyway.