Kendrick Perkins, Celtics Lose Game 2, The Knicks Keep Winning, Rapid Fire Topics + Fyre Fest Of The Week

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Speaker 1 Code audio at checkout. On today's part of my take, we have recurring guests.
Kendrick Perkins, great interview with Perk.

Speaker 1 He is on my, I think he might be on my Mount Rushmore of the Way He Says Words.

Speaker 3 Oh, I love it. Great Great accent.
Good South Tech. We should have asked him about Galveston.
Yeah. Get a feud going between him and Chuck.

Speaker 1 Just throwing dogs around there. Great interview with him.
We're going to talk about the NBA playoffs, the NHL playoffs. We have game two

Speaker 1 between the Celtics and the Cavs, also the Knicks and the Pacers, and the Mavs and Thunder. I also have a couple rapid-fire discussion topics I would like to get to.
Maybe some cleanup.

Speaker 1 So it's a great show. A Friday show sending you into the weekend.

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Speaker 1 Today is Friday, May 10th.

Speaker 1 Hank.

Speaker 1 Dank.

Speaker 1 Dank. Dan Kay.
What's up?

Speaker 6 What's up? What's up, Henry?

Speaker 3 Just had a quick question for you, Hank. What's up? The Boston Celtics lost tonight.
They're now down one point in the series. No, they're up one.

Speaker 3 Excuse me, the Cavaliers are down one point. The Celtics are up one point in the series.
The Cavaliers only won by 24, so that's good.

Speaker 3 People are asking questions about the Celtics. It's just one game.
It's

Speaker 1 a long series. Just one question.

Speaker 1 It's just getting to it. Let them pitch it.

Speaker 3 It's called prefacing your question with giving you all the facts, so I'm not giving you anything out of context. Got it.
Okay, so some people will say it's just one game.

Speaker 3 There are other people that will say, Hank, the Boston Celtics, when you look at their record against the best teams in the NBA this year, could be known as maybe a cupcake merchant.

Speaker 3 Maybe they beat up a lot of bad teams in the East. Maybe they have a sub-500 record against the top six teams besides the Boston Celtics.

Speaker 3 I don't believe those people, but they are saying things like that. They're saying things like Jason Tatum, not a great shooter, and he seems to love the ball in his hands, seems to love taking shots.

Speaker 3 What would you say to those two camps of people out there?

Speaker 1 Good question. So what's the question?

Speaker 3 What would you say to those two camps of people?

Speaker 1 What would you say?

Speaker 3 What would you say? You weren't even listening.

Speaker 7 We had the best record in the NBA. we're the number one seed in the entire playoffs we've lost two playoff games and we're in a good spot okay i think they're wrong i think jason tatum is is

Speaker 7 just gets picked on he's had nothing but success in his nba career he hasn't won a championship but he's still that's a wild one sent one second you just put out there what that he's a winner that he's had a lot of success i mean you rooted for fucking alex ovechkin for his entire career would you say the same thing like he no no i i did not say that he was a winner before he won the stanley i I said he's had an extremely successful career, and people just

Speaker 7 try and shoot him down.

Speaker 1 No, I think you said he's won.

Speaker 1 Nothing but success was nothing but success. That's just not true.

Speaker 3 I would have never said that about Alex before he won the Stanley Cup.

Speaker 7 Interesting. I don't know if that's true.

Speaker 7 He wasn't as successful as Tatum was, but

Speaker 7 they lost one game. It's the game.

Speaker 1 It's

Speaker 7 playoffs. I'm not going to let it get me down.

Speaker 1 You guys are going to fucking kill the Cavs in game game three.

Speaker 1 Probably.

Speaker 7 Bruins and Celtics 0-8 in Game 2s in their last 8 Game 2s.

Speaker 7 It's not a Game 2 town.

Speaker 1 Not a Game 2 town.

Speaker 3 0-8 in Game 2s. 14-14 at home in the last three seasons for the Celtics.

Speaker 1 Yeah, not a Game 2 town.

Speaker 7 I actually saw a worse homestat, I thought. It was like 9-11.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I mean, they got to. I'm sick.
I will say I'm sick of these wake-up call games. Like, you know, Miami lose game two.
It's a wake-up call. They'll bounce back.

Speaker 7 They'll, you know, figure things out and come back stronger. At some point, you've got to just be like, it's the playoffs.
Wake-up time's over.

Speaker 7 Let's just come out of the gate every game hot and just step on their throats.

Speaker 7 Celtics have the Dr. Jekyll, Mr.
Hyde thing going where one game they look like the best team in the NBA, which they are, best record in the NBA.

Speaker 7 They earned that by winning the most games in the NBA, PFT. You can only play who gets put in front of you.

Speaker 7 I agree with that.

Speaker 1 Good point. Good point.
Amen.

Speaker 7 But then they come out in other games and look like they have no chance to get beat by 25 to a Cavs team that's not that good.

Speaker 1 Well, the Cavs did play well tonight. Karis Lavert was awesome.

Speaker 1 We told you Donovan Mitchell would have a game where

Speaker 1 he shot well from three, and Evan Mobley was awesome as well. So the Cavs have guys, and they played really well.

Speaker 8 Yeah, they have guys.

Speaker 1 Celtics shouldn't lose them.

Speaker 7 They live and die by the three. That's

Speaker 7 what it is with this team. When they shoot bad, it looks terrible.
And when they shoot good, they look like the best team of all time.

Speaker 1 So no panic, no nothing. Just it is what it is.
You lose a game, you know, wake-up call.

Speaker 7 Yeah, it's the same. It feels similar to the Heat Series.
I'm not going to be humble about it, but it's like they got to come out and dominate them

Speaker 7 for the next three games.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 They got to win the next game.

Speaker 7 But I like, again, you know, we had them on. AWS love them.
I love them. Like, Missoula is the guy that's going to get in their ass, tell them to figure it out.

Speaker 7 I don't know why I didn't get in their ass after game one. I don't know what goes on there.

Speaker 1 Which ass does he need to get in? He's got to get in everyone's ass. Yeah.
The whole team. Whole team.
Everyone. Top to bottom.
Yeah.

Speaker 8 Run a train.

Speaker 7 Stack them on top of each other.

Speaker 1 And also, remember, Hank, we are.

Speaker 3 So he's climbing the ladder.

Speaker 1 Getting ass tat. Okay, I got it.

Speaker 1 I think we're, what, one game away from hitting Chrisop's minimum? Oh, are we? Of several.

Speaker 3 Several is three.

Speaker 1 Several's three.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 a few is three. A couple's two, a few is three.
Several, I think, has to be like four or five.

Speaker 3 I think several is three and up. I know a few is three, but

Speaker 3 three is also several.

Speaker 1 So he's close to hitting his minimum.

Speaker 7 I think you keep him out till hopefully, we don't get to a game six situation, but save him for that. Don't rush him back.

Speaker 1 I have a question for you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And let's just be, let's just, listen. What?

Speaker 7 No, it's just, I have a question seven hours later. Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 All right, fun. You want me to just rip the baby off and ask a question?

Speaker 1 I don't know the answer to this question.

Speaker 1 I think you know the answer to the question right now, And I think when your head hits the pillow, you might be like,

Speaker 1 Am I right?

Speaker 7 So that sounds like what you think the answer to the question is.

Speaker 1 No, because I actually don't know the answer to the question.

Speaker 7 But you prefacing that way means.

Speaker 3 Hank does so much fucking interrupting when we're trying to ask him a question.

Speaker 1 It's ridiculous.

Speaker 7 I said,

Speaker 7 Do you want me to remember the bandit office question? Yes.

Speaker 1 You know what? I don't know the answer to that question.

Speaker 3 Just be honest, next time we say, is it okay if I ask you a question? Just say no.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I can't and say you don't talk.
It's not okay. It's definitely not okay with you.
Question time.

Speaker 1 Do you want me to give you my answer before I give you the question? My answer would be, yeah.

Speaker 1 That would be my answer.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you know the question. What would your answer be?

Speaker 3 My answer would be,

Speaker 1 I think so. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The question is, is Jason Tatum the best player on a championship team?

Speaker 8 Yes.

Speaker 1 100% no hesitation. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Are you sure? Yes. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right, then Then we're good.

Speaker 3 Then you don't even need to tell him the stat because he already said he's scared.

Speaker 1 He loves your stats. I have a stat.
Yeah. I won't tell you the stats.

Speaker 7 You cherry-pick stats.

Speaker 1 This isn't a cherry-pick stat. This is the opposite of a cherry-pick stat.
There's a stat called BPM for basketball. It's kind of like war.
It's what you contribute to your team points like

Speaker 1 overall when you're on the court. If you look, the peak, like Jokic this year was like 13 plus 13.
How's he doing? He won an MVP.

Speaker 1 Good point. Good point.

Speaker 1 We'll go to playoffs after because good point.

Speaker 1 And it tracks pretty consistently like when a peak Jordan year is like

Speaker 1 11-12, peak LeBron year, 11-12. The best player in the league,

Speaker 1 the best player on a championship team is usually up there in the top 10. So much so that I look back, and

Speaker 1 the last time a team won a championship with a guy who wasn't on, with zero players in the top 10 of the BPM, was the Detroit Pistons. Now,

Speaker 1 you could make the argument that these Celtics are like that Pistons team where the team is so good collectively that it doesn't matter. But does that make you a little concerned?

Speaker 1 Because if you go down the list, it's pretty much every

Speaker 1 single year.

Speaker 1 He's 16th.

Speaker 3 What's Brown?

Speaker 1 Brown is, here on, I'll find it for you. But it's every single year you go down.
Like, Jokic last year was one.

Speaker 1 Curry, actually, the Warriors year was almost an aberration. Curry was ninth.
Giannis was two. LeBron five.
Kawhi sixth. When the Warriors won in 2018, that team was incredible.

Speaker 1 They had Steph and KD three and four. Like down the list, it goes.

Speaker 3 I think you said Jalen was pretty far down there.

Speaker 1 Every team that has won a title has a guy who is a top 10 BPM guy on their roster. All right, I'm going to find it for you.

Speaker 1 But again. And here's where I'm being fair, Hank.
The Wolves also don't have a top 10 guy from the regular season.

Speaker 1 So maybe this is the year that we have two teams that don't have, quote-unquote, like one of the top five players in the league.

Speaker 1 Although Anthony Edwards and Jason Tatum did finish, did he finish five in NVIDIA?

Speaker 8 What about the

Speaker 7 is Luca, I'm assuming, is on there? Yes.

Speaker 1 Let me get it for you. Oh, yeah.
Shea. So this year, the top, the top 10 were Jokic,

Speaker 1 Luca,

Speaker 1 Giannis, Shea, Tyrese Halliburton, LeBron, Sabonis, Brunson, Mitchell, Kawhi. Those are the top 10 for this year.

Speaker 1 And, hold on, I'm going to get it for you.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 7 Yeah, I mean, by that,

Speaker 7 you're saying it'll be a Knicks.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, because

Speaker 1 that's his team. No, that's one of the

Speaker 3 stats work, also. Like,

Speaker 3 any of those teams from the East could make the finals.

Speaker 3 You're talking about the winning. The winning team.
The winning team. Historically, I mean, it doesn't take a stat to tell you this.
It takes just watching basketball for the last feels like 30 years.

Speaker 3 The winner of the NBA championship usually has a superstar on their team.

Speaker 1 Correct. The person

Speaker 7 would be this team that didn't. Yeah, and the Celtics team, to your point, is built, you know, it's a team.

Speaker 1 It is a team. That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 It could be the Wolves versus Celtics, and you could be saying, well, this, that makes no sense because both these teams have proved the sum of the parts is bigger.

Speaker 1 Now, Anthony Edwards also is number two in BPM in these playoffs. He's ascending to a point.
You know who's number three?

Speaker 1 Here's a helpline. You know who's number three? Who? Derek White.

Speaker 1 So it might be Derrick White's team.

Speaker 7 Derek White, MVP, plus 4,000.

Speaker 1 That's true. That is true.

Speaker 9 So then what's the argument?

Speaker 3 But no, I'm going to take Hanks.

Speaker 1 I'm going to take your side. Jason Tatum, the best player on a championship team.

Speaker 3 Got it. I'm going to take your side a little bit in this.
If the Celtics get hot, if Tatum plays, he's very capable of being the best player on the court in most games. He could do it, right?

Speaker 3 We've seen him do that. Like you said, he finished, what, fifth in MVP voting? So

Speaker 3 if he kicks it into high gear, I don't think it's good.

Speaker 3 Or you said something about MVP voting. Nope.
With Tatum? Nope.

Speaker 3 I thought you said something like that two minutes ago.

Speaker 1 I think I said it. Jason Tatum, I think, finished fifth or sixth.
Okay, fifth. Yeah.

Speaker 3 So there you go. So he's up there in the conversation.
If he plays at an extremely high level for the next three, four weeks, five weeks, he's going to be,

Speaker 3 and they win the championship. Nobody's going to be like, oh, I can't believe this no-name Celtics team won.

Speaker 1 No, they're a really good team.

Speaker 3 They'll say Jason Tatum is a superstar, and he carried them to

Speaker 3 this title, and people remember Jason Tatum because he's already close enough to that level where you'd be like, okay, the playoffs can turn him into a legitimate carrier of a team.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so Chris Dopps was 14,

Speaker 1 Jason Tatum was 15, and then Jalen Brown was 80.

Speaker 1 Derrick White was 22.

Speaker 3 So you need Christopse back.

Speaker 1 You need Christophs back. Again, I am not - I think you guys are going to still kill the Cavs.

Speaker 1 I think you're going to still win the East. It was more of a bigger question.
And again, my answer is, yeah.

Speaker 1 But at least

Speaker 1 I don't know. He just doesn't.

Speaker 1 He took two shots in the fourth.

Speaker 1 He feeds in.

Speaker 1 Well, I mean, but you guys, what was it, 10-point game going in the fourth?

Speaker 7 More than that.

Speaker 1 I think you guys got blown out in the fourth. And he just has

Speaker 1 averaging five points less in the playoffs than he did in the season.

Speaker 1 This is when Jalen Brunson is scoring 40 a night.

Speaker 9 They have six players. Okay.
He's got to step up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I think that's, I think that actually might be.

Speaker 7 Slander that goes on for with Jason Tatum.

Speaker 1 Where has there been slander? I've asked questions.

Speaker 7 No, just online and in the media.

Speaker 1 I think he's an incredible player. We're online and in the media.

Speaker 3 We're both those.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 What do you say about Joelle and Bieden when these conversations happen?

Speaker 9 Here comes Max off the top.

Speaker 7 Well, Joel and Beden. That was like.
Doesn't make a difference.

Speaker 1 That was like Max. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 We all love coming in second, right?

Speaker 1 Max was underneath the wrestling ring there, and he just popped out with a steel chair.

Speaker 3 Actually, Max, Philadelphia, according to Hank, Philadelphia Sports has they've had nothing but success for the last two years. Correct.

Speaker 1 Nothing but success.

Speaker 1 Hank, tonight when the fourth quarter. I bet you would.

Speaker 7 Jason Datum's played like 700 more playoff games than Embiid at this point, and he's probably like two years younger.

Speaker 3 He's very good. But this is the time that we have to do this, Hank.
You suffer a.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, it's fine.

Speaker 1 They were down 12 going into the fourth quarter. That's still a game.
That's still a game.

Speaker 1 Like, you should, that's a game that you can still win. For sure.

Speaker 7 Yeah, it was a bad game.

Speaker 1 I think you guys just have these bad games, and you're going to be fine. But I just, that was a question that I just asked because I feel like half the time I watch him, I'm like,

Speaker 1 I expect him to be the best player on the court. And there's been, I don't know when he's been the best player on the court in these playoffs.
Jalen Brown's been phenomenal for some games.

Speaker 1 Derek White's been insane. Donovan Mitchell was great tonight.
Donovan Mitchell's had games,

Speaker 1 last series that he was out of this world.

Speaker 8 But it's happened in the past four, five, six years.

Speaker 7 It's happened many times.

Speaker 3 You know what this sounds like? This sounds like on

Speaker 1 inside the NBA.

Speaker 1 True.

Speaker 3 It sounds like on Turner when Shaq directly calls out a player and gives a personal challenge. Sounds like Big Cat is giving a personal challenge.
Step up.

Speaker 1 I'm fine.

Speaker 7 Yeah,

Speaker 7 you're not wrong that this playoffs, he hasn't been super, super, superstar level.

Speaker 1 He's got to step up. And again, you're not in trouble.
You're not in trouble. It's more that if he plays like this in the finals, I think you might be in a lot of trouble.
Agreed.

Speaker 1 That's when you need him to step up and be like, no, I'm also

Speaker 1 one of these guys.

Speaker 7 Yeah, and if there's one knock against him, it would be that he didn't really step up against Warriors.

Speaker 1 But that experience. He was 19.

Speaker 1 Basically.

Speaker 1 Okay, so prediction for Saturday night?

Speaker 7 Win by 33. 33.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Back on track.

Speaker 1 Back on track.

Speaker 3 No, they still won't be be on track.

Speaker 1 No, if they won by 33, they have to win by 33.

Speaker 1 That was mean. It's true.
He couldn't do 25. Oh, wait,

Speaker 3 we're not even taking into account any of the losses that they have.

Speaker 1 That doesn't factor in the future. No, he's saying,

Speaker 1 oh, no. Oh, PFT.
What?

Speaker 1 If they win each... Hank's saying to win the next three games by 33 each, they'll win by 100.

Speaker 3 So, okay.

Speaker 9 What did I say in the beginning?

Speaker 7 Point differential will be 100 plus.

Speaker 8 Yes.

Speaker 7 So right now it's one.

Speaker 1 Yes, but I don't like what you're doing to my three. No,

Speaker 1 I don't like what you're doing.

Speaker 1 I know exactly what you're saying. I had 30.

Speaker 3 I didn't realize that was. It's 60.
I didn't realize that the points scored against you in losses didn't count.

Speaker 7 Do you not point differential? Do you know what that means?

Speaker 3 In metrics.

Speaker 1 Got it.

Speaker 3 You don't understand the fact that right now you guys are up by one point.

Speaker 1 Correct. That's why I said 33.

Speaker 3 So yes, I'm aware of this. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 3 if the series goes seven games, then the Cavaliers could win, and they could have a 10-point win. They could have an eight-point win and a 20-point win, and then you don't get to 100.

Speaker 1 I'm not bad at math.

Speaker 6 Got it.

Speaker 3 How does that not make sense to you? No, did that make sense?

Speaker 7 I think it's going to be three wins, 33.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're saying three wins by 33.

Speaker 7 Just to make it nice and even.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 I'm saying you've got to do better than that.

Speaker 1 No, three wins by 33 would make it nice and even. No, I guess a little, you know.
You want a little extra 101. That's not what it means.
Well, yeah, you know, you got an extra one.

Speaker 1 All right. So

Speaker 1 would you say we should bet on the Celtics on Saturday night?

Speaker 7 I'm not, you know, spreads,

Speaker 7 I'm not worried about spreads.

Speaker 1 We're going to beat them by 30. Oh, yeah, that's true.
That's one thing that I'm going to say.

Speaker 1 We should ask our correspondent when the Sixers go out of the playoffs, Max does become Boston Max. Max,

Speaker 1 what do you think about the Celtics right now? I mean, it's game two. Who gives a fuck about the Cavs? Everyone's crying about nothing.
We're the Boston Celtics.

Speaker 1 We're going to beat the fuck out of them the next game. Beat Beat the fuck out of him again.
Beat the fuck out of him again.

Speaker 1 And then the Pacers and Knicks are both going to be dead by the time they come us.

Speaker 1 That's a clean sweep. Clean sweep.
And then who cares about the West? Maxwell.

Speaker 3 What do you think about your Bruins?

Speaker 1 The thing about hockey is I know a lot about hockey, and I know that my Bruins are going to win in five,

Speaker 1 five, five, five. Not a Game 2 city.
Not a Game 2 City. I like that.

Speaker 3 This is Massachusetts.

Speaker 1 Yeah, not a Game 2 city needs to be on a quote card.

Speaker 1 Okay, other games we've got to talk about. The Pacers and the Knicks.

Speaker 1 How many

Speaker 1 things did Rick Carlisle submit to the NBA?

Speaker 3 I think 78. I think

Speaker 3 after the game was over, Rick Carlisle, I believe it was in the first two games.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 But there are 78 fouls that were either incorrectly called, not called at all, or just blown by the refs in some circumstance.

Speaker 3 I don't know if he included the Phantom double dribble because that was... Okay.

Speaker 1 He definitely included that.

Speaker 3 All right, I'm going to stand up a a little bit for rick carlisle if my team is playing in a game and there's a flag and you the whistle's blown or there's a flag on the field to me that's been called already and if you pick it up or you take the whistle back then you fucked me over yeah by by going back on your incorrect call correct now it was not a good call he very clearly didn't touch the ball with two hands so it never should have been called in the first place ended up being, I think, a fair outcome to the play.

Speaker 3 But as a fan or a coach or a player on one of those teams, once you do that, it's going to really piss me off if you take it back.

Speaker 1 Yeah, two things can be true.

Speaker 1 The Pacers have had a bad whistle and they got screwed. I mean, game one, that we talked about on Wednesday, that game one kickball call sucked.

Speaker 1 They've gotten a bad whistle. Rick Carlisle is being a gigantic baby.

Speaker 1 Dude, play TJ McConnell more. Like, keep him in the game.

Speaker 1 He was the guy who was making things happen.

Speaker 1 He played played phenomenal and then he took him out for the last seven minutes you blew a double-digit lead you gave up 130 points to knicks team that has like no one left start maybe pointing your the finger at yourself and not oh they don't like small market teams small market team should have been the excuse after like the at least the third loss and i get you got to wait on that because especially like his whole case is it's indiana against New York City.

Speaker 3 Right. The NBA wants the Knicks to advance.
I don't know if he's seen the Knicks in the playoffs ever.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 But the NBA doesn't do a very good job of advancing the Knicks. If that's been their agenda, they've been really, really bad at executing that agenda.

Speaker 1 Correct.

Speaker 1 That was, yeah, I mean, it's, I'm fine with like a coach trying to basically make a statement to get the refs to maybe give him a better whistle, but the small market thing, like, dude, come on.

Speaker 1 And also, like,

Speaker 1 you have made some mistakes in this series that have cost your team. You should have won at least one of these games.
You didn't.

Speaker 1 you're still in this series because the other side of it the Knicks are essentially the knight from Monty Python like they have no one they so uh Mitchell Robinson's out for the rest of the playoffs uh og is out for at least game three but it feels like more jalen brunson missed the entire second quarter which credit to uh the tnt crew for uh really giving us great timely updates when the best player in the series just wasn't there for a quarter.

Speaker 3 They had to talk about Reggie Miller and how Reggie Miller used to play against the Knicks, too.

Speaker 3 That was wild. It was very crazy because I was watching the game and I was like, what's Jalen doing? Where is he?

Speaker 3 Is he taking a break? And then I was like, wait, no, Tibbs is their coach. There's no chance that

Speaker 3 he's taking a break. And just nothing happened until right before halftime.
And then they went back. We saw the replay.
The replay was no help either. Nope.
I don't know.

Speaker 3 He tweaked his foot or something.

Speaker 1 I thought it was groin, then it was foot.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but he came back and I mean, he's a tough motherfucker.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, he did what he's been doing all these playoffs. He's he's was, like, owned the game late, and he's so much fun to watch.
And

Speaker 1 he's just incredible. And he is, I've had some Knicks fans ask me, yes, he is.
Anthony Edwards and Jalen Brunson are now officially emerging superstars.

Speaker 1 Like, I still think you have to do it for a couple of years or maybe one more year because they both did it last year, too. But they are absolutely emerging superstars and all over the place.
But I.

Speaker 1 I don't know what the Knicks do now. They don't have, they're just losing guys left and right.

Speaker 3 They've got, what, like, seven guys now that can Josh Hart?

Speaker 1 I think, I think Tibbs just have to have Josh Hart play two positions at once. That guy just never comes out.
He could do it. He's a fucking dog.
And that was a great moment at the end

Speaker 1 when he went up to the mic and was like, hey, I think they're saying fuck you to Reggie Miller. Yeah, that was really good.
That was great. Reggie Miller.

Speaker 1 I mean, why did they fly him in for that game?

Speaker 3 I think it's Spike Lee asked for it.

Speaker 1 That sucked. Yeah.
There's no need for him to be there.

Speaker 1 Just brainstorming out loud. But yeah, that was crazy.
They just didn't give us an update on the most important player in the series.

Speaker 1 for an entire quarter.

Speaker 3 So he's questionable right now. He's questionable.
I don't know if he's going to play.

Speaker 3 My guess is that he's going to try to play. Yeah.
And that Tibbs will be like, please try to play.

Speaker 3 But that seems like one of those injuries that's going to get worse the day after you heard it than it is at the time.

Speaker 1 And we're getting also to a point where I think, and I've seen Max, he's starting to kind of be like, the Sixers Knicks series is over. Now it's my Villanova guys.

Speaker 1 Like, the only guys they have left are Jalen Brunson, DiVincenzo, and Josh Hart. They're just going to try to win this title with just Nova.

Speaker 3 Yeah, well, that's what they've been saying. It's like they're still best friends.
Yeah. And it all goes back to Villanova.
Max, this would be a championship

Speaker 1 for Philadelphia.

Speaker 1 I think Kyle Neptune would be, you'd have to give him a contract extension.

Speaker 1 Disagree. Okay.

Speaker 1 But I do think that what's going on in New York right now only further cements that Jay Wright's the best college basketball coach of all time. Okay.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's appropriate. Okay.
He's going to be like,

Speaker 3 you know how Coach Cowell had all those jerseys of his first-round picks in the basement? Like that's going, this Knicks team, if they do happen to win a championship at some point,

Speaker 3 Coach Wright is definitely going to have championship banners of this Knicks team hanging up if he ever gets back into coaching.

Speaker 1 Were we a curse to the city of New York?

Speaker 1 We lived there for seven years, and now

Speaker 1 they're on the precipice of having both teams in the Eastern Conference Finals. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And you said it from day one, Haley. You just wanted them to be good so that you'd have something to vibe off of.

Speaker 7 Yeah, and we might, I mean,

Speaker 7 maybe be getting Boston, Boston.

Speaker 1 New York, New York. New York, New York.
Yeah, which is crazy. I mean, you might just have to go live there

Speaker 1 for a couple days.

Speaker 1 But yeah,

Speaker 1 I think the Pacers will probably win on Friday night just based off. Is it Friday night or Saturday night?

Speaker 3 I think it's Friday night.

Speaker 1 I think it's Friday. I believe.

Speaker 7 I hate when they do these weird schedules where it's double hundred tomorrow.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but where the Nuggets play Monday and Friday, and then everyone else is still going every two days. Yeah, that was weird.

Speaker 1 I think the Pacers will get a good whistle. I think with the Knicks' injuries, the Pacers will win game three.

Speaker 1 But the Knicks are like, it's crazy what they're doing because they just keep losing guys and they just keep fighting harder than everyone, keep offensive rebounding.

Speaker 1 Jalen Brunson keeps being better and better. It's nuts.

Speaker 3 I could see them continuing to just do this. Yeah.
And have everybody be like, how the fuck is this happening?

Speaker 1 It's fun to watch.

Speaker 1 And the mecha is crazy.

Speaker 3 It's buzzing, bitch. It is buzzing.

Speaker 1 And then the last NBA game we had was the Mavs

Speaker 1 evening the series, 1-1. Luca on one foot, on no feet.

Speaker 3 No feet, no arms.

Speaker 3 No arms, no teeth either.

Speaker 1 Yeah, had an awesome game, pretty close to a triple-double. He's 29, 10, and 7.
And it was also the Tim Hardaway game and the PJ Washington game because both those guys were lights out.

Speaker 3 Tim Hardaway is really good.

Speaker 1 PJ Washington was 7 for 11 from 3. Also, real quick, credit to Hubie Brown.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Like, give a shout out to Hubie Brown.

Speaker 1 Think about Hubie Brown.

Speaker 3 Positive thoughts towards Hubie. The dude is 90 years old.

Speaker 1 And he's beloved.

Speaker 3 Nobody is out there being like, Hubie needs to get off the air. He's mixing stuff up.
Hubie is sharp as ever. The game started at, what, 8.30 tonight?

Speaker 1 8.30 Central?

Speaker 3 Hubie, probably, Hubie probably wakes up at like 6 p.m.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Goes to the game, goes home, goes to bed, like, I don't know, 4 in the morning. You know how old people are.
He gets the Continental breakfast at like 7 p.m.

Speaker 3 But Hubie's absolutely crushing it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. He's, I mean, he's a revelation when you compare it to flying Reggie Miller in.

Speaker 3 Yeah, just fly Hubie Brown around.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, I thought this series was going to be a dogfight back and forth, so I'm not surprised the Mavs won this game. And Luca, I will see.

Speaker 1 Luca's injured. Luca also likes to let you know he's injured.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 He really likes to let us know he's injured.

Speaker 3 Because even when he's not injured, he's injured. Right.
Because maybe you'll get like a really late call.

Speaker 1 He might lead the league and hit a big shot limp.

Speaker 3 Yeah, no, he yells. He doesn't.

Speaker 1 He might be the big Ben of the NBA. He might be.

Speaker 1 He could be.

Speaker 3 He does two things. He'll pretend that he's injured after he makes a shot, or he'll get mad at the ref after he makes a wide open shot where nobody came close to touching him.

Speaker 3 And he's still mad about something from like five plays ago at that same ref. Right.
He'll scream at the, he's always angry about something.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you could actually get Luca because, yeah, you're right. Like when he yells at a ref, his injury goes away.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So when he's yelling at a ref, the ref needs to be like, are you injured or are you yelling at me?

Speaker 3 Yeah, are you mad?

Speaker 3 It's like patting your head and rubbing your stomach at the same time. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Can't be both. Right.
And it's like, it's like when my kids are like, when they don't want to eat their dinner, they're like, my tummy hurts. I'm like, great, we won't have dessert.

Speaker 1 And they're like, no, my tummy doesn't hurt anymore. Yep.
That's what Luca's doing. When you yell at a ref, it's like, so your leg doesn't hurt? No, no, it still hurts.

Speaker 3 Yeah, and there was blood on his, one of his sleeves tonight on his leg.

Speaker 1 He's being extra. He's so good.
And he's being extra.

Speaker 3 What he was doing a really good job of was just staring down at the blood on his leg all the time to make sure everybody knew that there was blood on his leg. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What shirt did they wear in the first game? Was it white?

Speaker 3 I think it was a combo. I think some

Speaker 3 blue. It kind of looked like it was just seats.

Speaker 1 Well, also, that's the Mavs colors, too. Yeah.
I guess they have white as well.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but it... To the untrained eye, from a distance, across a big room, it looked like it was just empty seats there, but I'm sure it was loud.

Speaker 1 This series is going going to be very fun. Should we talk a little hockey? The Rangers are an absolute wagon.
They're up 3-0 against the Hurricanes.

Speaker 1 In the hockey world, the Hurricanes, I think, are the big-time fraud alert team because every year the advanced analytics love them and they just do this.

Speaker 1 So it looks, I mean, the Rangers haven't lost in these playoffs. So you actually,

Speaker 1 did you guys go to overtime in any of your games? No.

Speaker 1 Did we? No, I don't think so. I was going to say, maybe you will lose less.

Speaker 3 Yeah, on aggregate, but they went to overtime. Yeah.
Yeah, no, I'm not trying to spin Zona. The Capitals stink.
Don't patronize the Capitals. I'm not trying to spin Z.
They're a bad team.

Speaker 3 The Rangers, 7-0. Last time they were 7-0, won the Stanley Cup.
9-4. 94.
Feels like 94.

Speaker 1 Feels like 94. Mark Bassier.

Speaker 3 O.J. in the news for death again.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. And Pavel Burre and the Canucks, and those Canucks uniforms rocked.
Yeah. They were like bad, but awesome.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that was a very fun game. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The Vancouver crowd, they

Speaker 1 love their hockey. Yeah.
Oh, yeah, that Vancouver Oilers game, I have to admit, I did fall asleep, and I was shocked at the score because it felt like the Oilers had that game.

Speaker 1 And even like, even in the first period,

Speaker 1 it was very workmanlike. Oilers get a power play.
They score. Okay, we're off and running.
Everything's good. And the Canucks just, period of the week.

Speaker 3 Period of the week was the third period.

Speaker 1 To come back and win that game.

Speaker 3 That's my nomination.

Speaker 3 Absolutely.

Speaker 1 That was awesome.

Speaker 1 So, I mean, the Canucks, Biz told us, like, the Canucks kind of have no business, like, they, or not no business, but they didn't have the expectations of being this team this year, and they just keep getting, they keep finding a way.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Hank, credit to your Bruins, though, for scrapping it up a little bit.

Speaker 1 That was an awesome fight.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, he got punched right in his head. Well, he got cheap shot.
I was going to say that. Pasta taking that fight was awesome.
Awesome. Because he's not a fighter.
Nope.

Speaker 1 And Kachuck is like a badass.

Speaker 1 Pasta asked, like, like you asked the coach for permission yeah well no he i don't think he asked for permission i think he told him he was doing it and you could see the coach be like oh okay you want to do this go ahead is that's what you should absolutely do in a game where you get your teeth kicked in the playoffs you should always get into a fight at the end of it yeah yeah the swimming magic wore off a little bit but he was you know

Speaker 7 unconscious before that so it was you know water always finds its level but it'll be a big bounce back i'm i'm interested to see the bounce back uh tonight yeah so pasta Pasta, you got to load up on some pasta props.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 Kachuk's not getting a suspension or anything, right? That was a cheap shot at the end. Yeah.
Like, I think the first.

Speaker 7 You hit him on the way down.

Speaker 1 Well, I think the one. And then hit him again.
I think the hit on the way down was borderline okay because they're still fighting. But the one when he was all the way down, it's like, come on, dude.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can't do that.

Speaker 3 Yeah, don't do that.

Speaker 1 And then the Stars win. They beat the Avalanche.
We got some good series going, except for the Rangers Hurricanes. That's over.

Speaker 3 I did not watch any of the Stars Avalanche tonight, but in theory, I know that that's an electric series. So next time we have Biz or Witt on, I'll just be like, what a great series that was.

Speaker 1 Tell us how

Speaker 1 you tell us how great that series is.

Speaker 1 Okay, I had some rapid-fire things. If you guys are down for it.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I got one thing, too.

Speaker 1 You go. Okay.

Speaker 3 The NFL is King. Yes.
Was this a Rapid-Fire thing yet? No. Okay, the NFL is King.
They're doing Christmas games again this year. That's not the news.

Speaker 3 The news is that it looks like they're going to be maybe two games, all the Christmas Day games, on Netflix,

Speaker 3 which is interesting because Netflix has never broadcast an NFL game before. Correct.
I don't know who the announcer is going to be. Is Netflix going to have their own announcing crew?

Speaker 1 You said maybe Brady.

Speaker 3 Are they going to rent Tom Brady for a day and then he'll go on Sunday and work at Fox?

Speaker 1 Continue the Roast?

Speaker 3 Yeah, Continue the Roast. You know what?

Speaker 3 Here's the thing that should really piss the NBA off about this. And the NFL can do whatever the fuck they want, and they're going to dominate the NBA in ratings.

Speaker 3 Not only are they taking away Christmas Day from the NBA, they're also taking away the ability of people to comfortably change the channel to the NBA games

Speaker 3 during commercial breaks, quarter breaks, and halftime because signing out of Netflix, turning on to cable if you're watching on cable or to a different streaming app,

Speaker 3 such a pain in the dick to do that. And so they're taking away even the pity ratings that you would get for like a quick two-minute check-in on the NBA Christmas games.

Speaker 1 And remember, Christmas is on a Wednesday this year, and the NFL had previously said they weren't going to touch like middle of the week,

Speaker 1 Christmas Day. Remember, last year they were like, because there is a rule, they don't do Friday night games because of high school football.

Speaker 1 But last year, they're like, fuck it, we'll do a Friday afternoon game, Black Friday. Now, it doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter when the game's going to be. They're going to play it.

Speaker 3 And we'll show up.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 We're going to watch it.

Speaker 1 Do you think there's a chance any of our teams are in it?

Speaker 3 On Christmas?

Speaker 1 Yeah. How many games are there? I mean,

Speaker 3 our teams.

Speaker 1 The Max probably has the best chance.

Speaker 3 They do love scheduling the Bears in prime time and for a national audience. They love doing that.

Speaker 1 I think we might get a primetime game again. I think we actually all might get primetime games against each other because of the draft.

Speaker 3 Oh, because of the rookies?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Are we playing each other again? Yeah,

Speaker 1 the Bears and the Patriots are that weird

Speaker 1 added game. You you know how with

Speaker 1 each other like i know with the 17 game season it's you play a whole division and there's a one added from the other conference and for some reason we drew you uh but and then we played again we're gonna play again i hope it's thursday night as is tradition tattoo bet tattoo bet run it back yep they're probably gonna do it's later on the season so

Speaker 3 it might even be

Speaker 1 a divisional game what oh yeah yeah because it's christmas day yeah yeah because they had the

Speaker 3 Raiders and the Chiefs last year.

Speaker 1 Yeah, how many games were there?

Speaker 3 Two or three.

Speaker 1 I'm not sure.

Speaker 1 Give us a whole. I heard the permbet thing brought up.

Speaker 3 I just want to say for the record, and I've said this a few times.

Speaker 3 I wanted to do the permbet during the live stream. I agree.
Put memes in charge of that one. Last year? Yeah, put memes in charge of that one.
And memes were like, okay, I'll do it.

Speaker 3 And then he told me like two days. After I told him to do that, he's like, yeah, I don't know if we're going to be able to get the person to come out.

Speaker 3 So I didn't have enough time to schedule the person. I will do a perm.

Speaker 3 If somebody maximizes

Speaker 3 if Max or memes schedules the perm, I will absolutely do it.

Speaker 1 Love that. But now we have to make it a moment, though.

Speaker 1 It would be boring if we just did it in the middle of summer. It has to be during football season.
I agree. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We should wait. Like during it, like Super Bowl.
Yeah, we should wait.

Speaker 1 Super Bowl perm. We should wait.

Speaker 3 I'm down to do it whenever. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We have to do Dingers Only soon. Oh, yeah, baseball.
We'll do it for July 4th week. Yeah, July 4th week.
Yeah, yeah. Okay, ready for my rapid fire? Yep.

Speaker 1 First up,

Speaker 1 shout out Colin Coward. We don't really like him, but credit to him for going backwards hat.
Coach take with J.J. Reddick, saying J.J.

Speaker 1 Reddick could not be a coach because he's wearing a backwards hat. Yeah,

Speaker 3 keep fucking that chicken, Colin.

Speaker 1 I mean, I just,

Speaker 1 once we got to the coaches, by the way, J.J. Reddick's going to be the next coach of the Lakers, right?

Speaker 1 LeBron is really defending. LeBron defended J.J.
Reddick against Colin Coward.

Speaker 3 It feels like he could be. Feels like J.J.
is the hot name out there.

Speaker 1 And this is based off no information, but I'm more basing off just seeing LeBron defending because LeBron doesn't interact with Colin Coward. Yeah, and you know what?

Speaker 3 When we asked JJ when he was on the show how he would feel about coaching the Lakers, he said they have a coach.

Speaker 3 He didn't really answer the question.

Speaker 1 They have a coach. That leads me to my next rapid fire.
It sucks to have to coach. Now, sucks in a relative term because these guys make millions of dollars and they get paid to not work.

Speaker 1 But Frank Vogel got fired from the Suns today. Darvin Ham got fired last week.

Speaker 1 That's got to be the worst job in sports as a head coach right now is signing up to coach a super team because no matter what happens, it's never the player's fault. It's always the coach's fault.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I think the trick is to coach a super team, but it's when they're in their late 20s, early 30s. Yeah.
If you get older superstars that are that are joining up to form a super team.

Speaker 3 Also Bradley Beal.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 3 Can you call the Suns a super team?

Speaker 1 Well, they tried to. They tried to.
Kind of like the Eagles when they were a super team.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it was an attempted super team.

Speaker 1 Dream team. Oh, yeah, dream team.
It was an attempted big three. I just like Darvin Hammond

Speaker 1 was not a great coach. Frank Vogel has a championship, maybe wasn't a great coach for the Suns.

Speaker 1 It doesn't matter.

Speaker 3 He had a decent regular season.

Speaker 1 Right, but it doesn't matter because if you don't, if you flame out in the playoffs with one of these teams with a big three or a super team, you are the fall guy every single time.

Speaker 1 It's never the players.

Speaker 3 Do you think maybe Pat Riley is a secret genius, and that's why when the heat, everyone was saying, like Pat Riley's going to come down and take over the job from Spolstra? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Was he a genius by just being like, I'm going to, I'm going to let this guy coach the team. Yeah.
So that way he'll be fired. I won't have to fire myself.

Speaker 1 And Spo is just, he's one of the best coaches. But yeah, I don't know.
Like,

Speaker 1 if the Lakers offered Spo $15 million a year,

Speaker 1 he'd probably have to take it because it'd be $15 million a year, but I think he would think twice being like, if we don't win a championship, I'm the only guy who's going to get blamed.

Speaker 3 How much do you think he gets paid?

Speaker 1 I don't know what NBA coach is. He probably gets like seven or eight.
I don't know.

Speaker 3 I'm doing California tax math right now compared to Florida.

Speaker 1 Oh, good point. Yeah.
Good point.

Speaker 3 It'd probably have to be closer to 17, 80.

Speaker 1 Have to deal with Gavin Newsom on a regular basis.

Speaker 3 You have to go to French Laundry with him.

Speaker 1 Let me see. Eric Spolstra salary.

Speaker 1 Eric Spolstra's salary. Oh, he already makes $15 million a year.
Oh, yeah. He's

Speaker 1 going to need like... Oh, it's way off.

Speaker 3 He's going to need like $23.

Speaker 1 $15 million a year. He deserves it.
Yep.

Speaker 1 All right. So what if it was the

Speaker 1 yeah, so if they offered him 30?

Speaker 1 Pop is number one at 16. Okay, yeah.

Speaker 3 I mean, your point is valid, which is like, if you have old superstars that are uniting with each other and they still have the championship expectations and they've never played together and they've had long careers before trying to make this team work, you're kind of signing up on your own death death warrant right there.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like exactly.

Speaker 3 If you don't at least get to a championship, there's a chance you could be fired.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 The next rapid-fire thing, we should have talked about it with the Celtics, but that was some peak, peak sports talk radio with

Speaker 1 Tony Maz. Felger Maz.

Speaker 1 Kings.

Speaker 1 You saw this clip, PFT? I did not see this one. It was one of the greatest sports radio moments, and when I say greatest, the worst.

Speaker 1 He said that if the Celtics win the championship this year, doesn't it feel a little hollow because there's not really any good teams?

Speaker 3 That's a good point.

Speaker 1 And I hadn't thought about that. All-time take.

Speaker 1 That was a, we don't have anything to talk about take.

Speaker 7 No, they're all-time contrarians.

Speaker 3 Hey, quick question for you. If the Celtics, if they win the championship this year, doesn't it feel a little bit hollow? No.
Yeah. Because the East is so bad?

Speaker 7 No.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's a quick no.

Speaker 3 So did they actually have a discussion about that?

Speaker 1 I saw a 30-second clip, but yeah, he was like,

Speaker 1 Felger was like, no, that's the NBA, dude. And he's like, well, like, why don't they just play a YMCA team and call it a championship?

Speaker 7 They're the number one show in town. Crazy.

Speaker 1 It doesn't make a lot of sense.

Speaker 7 They've riled up the city of Boston for the last 15 years.

Speaker 1 But what you're not considering is

Speaker 8 Celtics,

Speaker 8 Patriots, Red Sox.

Speaker 3 What if they only played against girls' teams in high school and for some reason that's the NBA schedule and they win?

Speaker 1 Hollow. Think about it.
But yeah.

Speaker 3 What's the difference between that and this?

Speaker 1 I just, I just love when SportsTalk Radio guys are just like, you know what? Let's just fucking, we have nothing really to talk about.

Speaker 1 Let's just say that this championship doesn't, that it doesn't exist yet, doesn't count if it does exist.

Speaker 3 This is what's so funny about Boston is they've won so many things that they're already like figuring out reasons to not get super excited about the next championship.

Speaker 1 It was crazy. All right.
My next one was, did you guys see the new iPad Pro? No.

Speaker 1 People are very mad because the iPad Pro commercial,

Speaker 1 it's

Speaker 1 basically, it looks like,

Speaker 1 fuck, I'm losing my words.

Speaker 1 The smash thing that they use where they smash things, the compactor. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The pneumatic press. Yeah.
There it is. Pneumatic press.

Speaker 1 So it's the iPad Pro is a pneumatic press, and it's pressing down on all these instruments, like a piano, a trumpet, because it fits all that in an iPad Pro. And people are very upset.

Speaker 1 We're going to get mad at it. They're like, oh, so we're just throwing away like thousands of years of cultural, like, meaningful things for fucking technology?

Speaker 3 And then the wait, then the iPad Pro does not get crushed by it? No. Is that what you're saying?

Speaker 1 No, it all goes into the iPad Pro.

Speaker 3 Oh, all that shit gets combined. Yeah, I thought you were going to say people are getting upset because people love watching those press videos.
Oh, I do, too.

Speaker 3 Because it's like therapeutic to see what watch things get crushed. And if the iPad doesn't get crushed, people are like, what the fuck? You've got to crush the iPad.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, they're like,

Speaker 1 Tim Cook,

Speaker 1 way to ruin the world with your new sleek iPad Pro. I I just laughed at it because it's a commercial.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of bad stuff that goes into that, too.

Speaker 3 But you really want to talk about everything that's happened.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I wish it would, it would have been cool if they had just made that. Maybe the out-of-order guys will do it, where it's just like the iPad Pro crushing like gambling apps, porn sites.

Speaker 1 Be like, look, you got it all right here.

Speaker 3 Everything in there.

Speaker 1 Yeah, all your streaming services right here. All right, next rapid-fire topic: Greg Doyle suspended.

Speaker 3 Saw that? Yeah. Loved it.
Why would happen?

Speaker 1 Good call. Do you like that? Good call.

Speaker 3 hey yeah you like that i like it yeah do do that a little bit more and i'll treat you nice we'll be just fine yeah uh the other clip is so funny from that press conference too when he talks to the coach he's like so you got the keys to that yeah to that what are you gonna do about that um A lot of journalists were actually being like, that's an overreaction to suspend him.

Speaker 1 I just like it because Greg Doyle's a scold and him getting suspended for this is one of the funniest ways to get suspended.

Speaker 1 Hey, why did you get suspended from covering one of the most popular athletes in sports right now? Well, I did the heart signal to her and I was really creepy.

Speaker 3 No, it's just like he got suspended for being a creep. I don't.
So here's what's bad about suspending him.

Speaker 3 At some point, he's going to come back from suspension. Correct.
And then he is going to have to apologize to Caitlin Clark. And he is going to do that in the most creepy way possible.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it actually sucks for Caitlin Clark. Yes.
Like, Caitlin Clark probably doesn't want him suspended, just wants him sitting in the back of the newsroom and just not even asking questions anymore.

Speaker 1 Because now when he does come back, it's a whole other story where she has to accept his apology, all that bullshit.

Speaker 3 What she should do is say, like, he, I don't want him in the room. Yeah.
And then the indie star will, they'll have to say, okay,

Speaker 3 because she's the biggest sports, she's a story in town right now. Yeah.
It's like she is the face of women's sports across the world.

Speaker 3 And so if they just tell him, no, you can't get it, because if he does come back, he's going to try to do like, he's going to try to get cute with his apology.

Speaker 3 Yeah, of course.

Speaker 3 He's going to say something that's going to make it worse she's going to feel like she has to accept his apology because she probably just doesn't want to deal with his shit anymore and then it's going to be a very weird dynamic so just don't don't let him around the fever he should he should actually not be suspended he should just have to go to every game with a t-shirt that says i'm not a creep but i ask creepy questions they should just make a doyle rule which is not allowed to talk to women yeah

Speaker 1 don't talk to women greg talk to women well how would he have found out that he was wrong

Speaker 3 uh from he already talked to the women in his life. Right.

Speaker 3 Just don't talk to women as part of your job.

Speaker 1 Yeah, ever.

Speaker 1 Okay, last one.

Speaker 1 This one is probably the biggest one. We have to come to the defense of one of Max's heroes.
Max, I assume you've seen this.

Speaker 1 Shady McCoy? No. That's one of your heroes? Chip Kelly?

Speaker 1 Well, Shady McCoy, yeah. And we have to come to his defense because we've been there.

Speaker 1 Jason Kelsey is fighting a war online against horse Twitter because he implied that Secretariat might have done steroids.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 if everyone, for a long time, AWLs, you remember this for new ones, welcome.

Speaker 1 We almost got canceled by Horse Twitter in 2016 because we called Nyquist a fucking pussy ass bitch for not running in the Belmont.

Speaker 3 Yes, and we said that he was getting fat. Yeah.
And that's why he didn't run. He looked like Eddie Lacey.
Yeah. And then there

Speaker 3 I'm just getting word now that there may have been some Photoshops done of Nyquist making him look super overweight. Yeah.
To the point where Nyquist got bullied off Twitter. Yes.

Speaker 3 You deactivated his little horse Twitter account. We did that.
So we did that. We know what you're going through.

Speaker 3 I still believe in the First Amendment

Speaker 3 when it comes to insinuating and slandering horses. Yeah.
So Jason, speak your truth.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's just a very funny

Speaker 1 controversy to get in where he just was like, yeah, they did a lot of steroids in the 70s and his heart was three times bigger. That feels like steroids and people are mad.

Speaker 3 People are very mad.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 I mean, some people still have Secretariat posters on their wall.

Speaker 3 Listen, Secretary is the greatest athlete who ever lived.

Speaker 1 Correct.

Speaker 3 It was funny how he apologized on Twitter, too, because he gave like an emotional apology, being like, I'm sorry for making accusations towards this horse that's been dead for 40 years.

Speaker 1 It's ridiculous. Yeah.
It's a ridiculous controversy. We stand with you, Jason Kelsey.
It's fucking ridiculous. We're talking about a horse.
And I love horses. I love betting on horses.

Speaker 1 But saying Secretariat did steroids should not ruin anyone's day.

Speaker 3 You know what?

Speaker 3 I'm going to go one further than Jason Kelsey. I will say they should dig up Secretariat's body and test him.
Drug test him. Drug test him.
Yep. Oh, wait.

Speaker 3 It's the only record in sports that has never been broken in terms of like speed or power for all these years.

Speaker 3 Every other sport across the entire planet has gotten better since the 1970s.

Speaker 3 And we're saying horse racing is the one that hasn't.

Speaker 1 He's making great points.

Speaker 1 Think about it.

Speaker 3 Dig that horse up.

Speaker 1 Making great points. Also, Max,

Speaker 1 since I saw this trending and I was like, let me see what's going on here. And I went to Jason Kelsey's page and I think he recently just followed me.

Speaker 3 Really? Yes.

Speaker 1 He follows 48 people. That rocks.
So

Speaker 1 sick.

Speaker 1 You're one step away. I knew that would excite Max.

Speaker 3 Max is sounding so creepy right now.

Speaker 1 I'm going to wait.

Speaker 1 I did message him. I was like, don't apologize.
We have your back. I'm going to wait to tell him that we have a producer that would literally die for him.

Speaker 1 I think that's more of like a month or two down the line. Don't embarrass me.
Well, do you not want me to say that? I don't know. Oh, wait.
He follows me too. There we go.

Speaker 3 Max, does he follow you?

Speaker 8 No. Oh, he follows me too.

Speaker 1 Wait, do you guys? No, he doesn't. He does not follow him.

Speaker 1 I'm going to follow him back. Yeah,

Speaker 1 follows him. He followed you first? Yeah, same with me.
Same with me. That's so cool.
I was like, wait, I don't follow Jimmy.

Speaker 3 I'm going to DM him and tell him not to follow me.

Speaker 1 What the hell? No,

Speaker 1 don't even bring me up. This is like.

Speaker 3 Hey, our producer, Max, he's a real big horse fan. He was very upset with what he said about Secretary.

Speaker 1 For the record, confirm doesn't follow me. I just.
Shit. All right.
Yeah, so maybe me and PFT need to just hit him on on, like, just double strike, being like, hey, could you quickly follow this guy?

Speaker 1 I would be.

Speaker 1 Don't embarrass me.

Speaker 3 Max, here's how much I love you.

Speaker 3 I would trade, if he's trying to keep it at 48, take me off. Yeah, me too.
Put Max in.

Speaker 1 Well, no, wait, what if we both get taken off? It's an empty, empty threat. He's got to follow Mr.
Pear, too. Empty promise.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know two guys who have a direct line to Jason Kelsey. No, that's cool.
That's sick. That's sick for you guys.
It is sick. You know what?

Speaker 1 I'm not going to tell him to follow Max. I'm going to actually say,

Speaker 1 Max is so crazy in love with you that he has a can of soup that he refuses to eat because your face is on it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's probably better, right?

Speaker 3 Our producer Max wears your face on his shirt like 90%.

Speaker 1 Kind of on his own face. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I just want. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yes. He wants to be you.

Speaker 1 That is correct.

Speaker 3 Or at least inside you.

Speaker 1 You want to remake face off?

Speaker 3 No, I mean Max, not like that. I meant like you want to look like you want your skin to look like.

Speaker 1 Inside and out, I would like to be like Jason Kelsey, if that makes sense. But would you be inside him if offered? No.
Stop this.

Speaker 3 No, but Max, if we could take.

Speaker 1 You're already doing this with the other Kelsey.

Speaker 3 If we could take your brain right now

Speaker 3 and put it in Jason Kelsey's body, and then you would just walk around with your brain, but now you are Jason Kelsey, would you do it?

Speaker 1 For like a day. I'll say it.
You know what? I'll say it. I don't believe that Max is actually a fan of Jason kelcey until i see video proof of jason kelcey inside of max yeah yeah

Speaker 1 that's that's fair that's fair grunt we're gonna get involved so fast yeah this is bullshit guys you're ruining this we've met him before we've hung out with him that's that's that also sucks

Speaker 1 this summer i know peeralmpics which we will not well know i don't i don't want to say we will not i don't think we're backing out we can't back out i don't think we are going to no i don't think we're probably not going to back out of it will we i don't know.

Speaker 1 Can we? No.

Speaker 3 We're definitely maybe not going to back out. It's going to be so hot in Vegas.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 It's like

Speaker 3 it's during the week.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 we're kind of closer with Jason Kelsey now than we are with Will and Taylor, and they backed out.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but I mean,

Speaker 3 we told them that we'd do it when they told us it was different days.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we can't back out, right?

Speaker 1 Hank?

Speaker 3 Hank, should we.

Speaker 1 We can't. We can't back out.
No, we won't. No, we can't.

Speaker 1 Nah. Nah, we can't.

Speaker 3 I will be there no matter what. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We can't. We're going to golf.
Yeah, we're going to golf. We're going to golf.
It's going to be so hot. It's going to be so hot.
We're going to golf at four in the morning. We'll be fine.

Speaker 3 I never thought it would be this hard to get us out to Vegas to gamble in a casino where you literally can't lose.

Speaker 1 Well, I think the part where you and I have to compete against a bunch of NFL offensive linemen is

Speaker 3 not Jason Kelsey. True.

Speaker 1 He's not really NFL offensive linemen. He's more just good friends of ours.

Speaker 3 Yeah, my buddy. Yeah.
My buddy JK.

Speaker 1 And soon to be inside of Max. Yeah.
He was on stage at a Mount Joy concert. I was showing PFT.
That was cool. That was all you were just showing.
You were showing PFT pictures of Jason Kelsey.

Speaker 1 No, it was a video.

Speaker 3 He played a video. You know, those people that are in the crowd during rock shows, they have their phones out and they're recording it, and they're like, what are these people recording it for?

Speaker 3 Are they going to go back and watch it later? No, they're recording it so they can get posted online. Then Max can show me his phone of somebody doing that.

Speaker 1 So Max, you basically did like, here, you want to see a picture of my kids, but it was Jason Kelsey at a concert?

Speaker 1 It was cool.

Speaker 1 Well, I asked PFT if he was a Mount Joy fan. Also, love Mount Joy, Mount Joy rocks.
Yeah. Good band.
And Jason Kelsey approved. And Jason Kelsey approved.

Speaker 3 Which means us approved too. Us approved.

Speaker 1 As well.

Speaker 3 The thing about us, we have so much in common with Jason.

Speaker 1 That's right. That's a fact.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Good opening to the show. We have Kendrick Perkins.
Awesome interview with Perk. And then we have Firefest.
Four-way, because Memes and Jake are both out. So Max chips into Firefest.
And

Speaker 1 Hank is in one. He's in a pickle.
He's in a pickle on Firefest. So let's kick it to ourselves with Kendrick Perkins.

Speaker 10 The Pro Football Football Show is presented by the Chevy Silverado. Built for the hustle, ready for the game.
Chevy Silverado is America's most dependable full-size truck.

Speaker 10 Whether you're grinding through the week or gearing up for kickoff, the Silverado is one ride that's always game ready. Just like football, it's about grit, grind, and getting it done.

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Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest, recurring guest. He is an NBA champion.
You can see him on ESPN all the time. He's got some spicy takes we want to get to.
Talk some NBA playoffs.

Speaker 1 It is Kendrick Perkins. Perk, great to have you on.

Speaker 1 We're watching the Celtics' fourth quarter right now, so we will have some questions about this game after the game. But I wanted to start with the series that everyone's going to watch.

Speaker 1 We're going to air this, obviously, on Friday. Everyone's going to watch tonight as they're listening to this, The Nuggets and the Wolves.

Speaker 1 And you are the guy who said that Anthony Edwards reminds you of Michael Jordan. I think it was you and Pat Bev.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 when you watch this Wolves team,

Speaker 1 has it clicked like, hey, this team can win it all? Like the way they're playing and they're so young and hungry. What are you seeing?

Speaker 5 Well, one, appreciate you fellas for having me on. Y'all continue to do a great job because that's exactly what y'all doing.
And y'all doing it y'all way. That's first thing first.

Speaker 9 Thank you. Thank you.

Speaker 5 When I look at the Minnesota Timberwolves, the number one thing that pokes out to me is the togetherness. The number two thing is.
They have a bunch of dogs, okay? And it's led by Anthony Edwards.

Speaker 5 And I said this, you know, in March, that when it comes to the young up-and-coming superstars, I've never seen a leader like him. And he's the best young leader in the game of basketball.

Speaker 5 And so when you look at their personnel, right, everybody was wondering last year, could Carl Anthony Towns and Rudy Goberg,

Speaker 5 can they coexist? The answer is hell yeah.

Speaker 5 because cats could you know stretch the floor so when i'm looking at their perimeter defense before i even address the interior I'm looking at an old school Mike Conley, who this year, this season, he was holding his opponents to 31.

Speaker 5 He was 31st in the league for his opponent field goal percentage. Jay McDaniels, he was fourth in the league, opponent field goal percentage.

Speaker 5 Anthony Edwards, he was 10th in the league, opponent field goal percentage. Then you have Rudy down there who's ready to swat everything.

Speaker 5 So when I'm looking at this team, I'm like, they don't give a damn who you are. Right.

Speaker 5 And when I started to watch the series against the Phoenix Suns, and I'm watching Rudy and Carl Anthony Towns guard Kevin Durant on the perimeter and slide those puppies and they're switching out on the pick and rolls, I'm like, hold on, hold on.

Speaker 5 Jimmy Butler couldn't pull this out of Carl Anthony Towns when he was in Minnesota. And Donovan Mitchell couldn't pull this out of

Speaker 5 Rudy Gobert. And so I'm thinking about it.
I'm like, man, this team is serious. And then they get to the defending champs and they kick in their ads yeah and the game two

Speaker 5 real real talk game two was probably one of the greatest performances defensively that i've ever seen in my damn life yes it was a clinic that by the way it was a clinic i love the way you say dogs i love the way you say dogs and i i love the way you say go bur yeah like he's ice cold yeah yeah it's rude gober yeah yeah

Speaker 1 from france yes you know what i mean friends So it was a clinic. So what, if you're the Nuggets, what do they do?

Speaker 1 Like, what do you, if you're in that locker room, what is said after game two and what's the fix?

Speaker 5 It's nothing that you can say. Either you got it in you or you don't.

Speaker 5 I know Michael Malone was, he said something the other day, I think it was yesterday that he said, hey, we the defending champs and I need guys in this locker room who are going to believe and go down to Minnesota and get a game three.

Speaker 5 Well, it's easier said than done when you're dealing with a team that don't give a damn, right?

Speaker 5 And Anthony Elwood followed up and he said, We know they're going to come in and give us their best punch, but guess what? We're going to punch back. And

Speaker 5 when you have that type of confidence, it's just on a different level. I don't know if it's anything they can do.

Speaker 5 Murray is not 100%. Jamal Murray is not 100%.
He's dealing with injuries.

Speaker 5 That's bad timing, especially when you're facing Mick Daniels.

Speaker 5 Jokic, he's shooting 42%

Speaker 5 from the field against Minnesota. Carl Anthony Towns, Rudy, and Nas Reed, they ain't going nowhere.
So I don't know what else they can do.

Speaker 5 Just think how important Jeff Green and Bruce Brown was to this team last year. They don't have them.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah. And so with the Nuggets, you said there's not a lot that they can do.
The matchups are an issue for them, and especially how they're making Jokic play in places.

Speaker 1 He's a little bit uncomfortable.

Speaker 3 I saw you, you referred to them. I don't know if you said that they were babies, the Nuggets, the B-word, or if you said they were playing like babies or acting like babies.

Speaker 3 But have the T-Wolves turned the Nuggets into babies?

Speaker 5 No, no, no, no. I said, so

Speaker 5 this is what I said. I said the T-Wolves got them crying like babies.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 And what I said was, was that

Speaker 5 the Denver Nuggets are doing all that damn crying.

Speaker 5 What the babies go do? If you're going to do all that damn crying, what the babies gonna do?

Speaker 5 If you're gonna shed all the tears, they had Michael Malone whining to the referees, they had Jamal Murray crying to the referees, they had them uncomfortable, yeah.

Speaker 1 No, it was. It was, it was crazy to watch because I don't really know.

Speaker 1 I feel like the only fix the Nuggets really have is they got to try to maybe play faster and get, you know, some guys in foul trouble.

Speaker 1 But it does feel like it's a deep, the defense from the Wolves just bothers the Nuggets to a level that we haven't seen. And they also, I mean, they got to play better.
Jokic is a three-time MVP.

Speaker 1 He's got to play better. Michael Porter Jr.
is, makes like $30 plus million dollars a year. He's got to play better.
Like, they all, they've been tested for the first time in the last year and a half.

Speaker 1 And how they answer this test will tell you a lot.

Speaker 5 It'll show their true character.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Right?

Speaker 5 It'll show their true character. I mean, you never know

Speaker 5 what's their true character until they hit adversity. Yeah.
Now all of a sudden, Jamal Murray throwing the heat pack on the damn floor.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 It's crazy to watch because of how easy it has seemed for them in the last year and a half, really two years they've been coming on like this.

Speaker 3 Also out west, Oklahoma City, you used a term that I really like about the Oklahoma City Thunder. We like watching them play.
They're fun.

Speaker 3 You said that they play agenda-free basketball in Oklahoma City.

Speaker 3 Can you describe what agenda-free basketball is and why it's beautiful to watch?

Speaker 5 Well, I'll tell you, it's not the same type of basketball you watch from the Detroit Pistons or the Washington Wizards. It's the complete opposite of that, right?

Speaker 5 Agenda-free basketball is when you're watching a team pass up good shots to get great shots, right? And you don't see that in a lot of young teams because everybody wants to be the hero.

Speaker 5 When you're watching a team

Speaker 5 guys pass up from actually getting an actual assist. to just getting a hockey assist, the pass that's going to lead to the assist, okay, defensively.

Speaker 5 You're watching a team that's talking, loading up boxes and elbows, you know, communicating switches, challenging everything at the basket.

Speaker 5 That's a gender-free basketball because they don't look at the box score to see what type of numbers that they're putting up themselves.

Speaker 5 They just, the only number that they care about is whether or not they win the game or not. And so when I watch them, it's just a beautiful thing to see because...
They're clamping up.

Speaker 5 Luke Dorks is doing his thing and they encouraging one another.

Speaker 5 Let me tell you when you could tell, when, especially in basketball, when a team is together and they have no hidden agendas whatsoever, just watch the bench.

Speaker 5 If you watch the bench, when the guys who are not in the game, if they up off the bench and they're clapping and they're rooting for their teammates, then you know that team is really, really special and guys then lost themselves into the ball club.

Speaker 3 You played on teams, I imagine, that were agenda-free and also teams that had agendas, that had players that had their own agendas.

Speaker 3 If you're on the bench and you're, you know, you decide whether or not you're going to get into the game, you're going to stand up, you're going to be a part of that action on the sidelines.

Speaker 3 What is it about the players on the team that make the guys on the bench respond or not respond?

Speaker 1 Well, I think, you know,

Speaker 5 we respond to, and that's a great question because when you're on the bench, you're always going to respond to what the average fan is not seeing, right?

Speaker 5 And that's the little things, whether, you know, and that's the things that is rehearsed behind closed doors in the film room.

Speaker 5 So if a guy is helping out another guy and he's he sees a rotation and he rotates and he gets a good contest or a great contest, and he's on his high horse from leaving in the paint and running out to the corner three to make a guy miss.

Speaker 5 That's going to get the bench hype because we just went over this in the film room, right?

Speaker 5 It may not mean much to, you know, a person who's looking for a highlight dunk or a crossover step back but it's everything to the guys that's sitting on that's wearing the same jersey uh as you because we was in that same locker room with you watching film room and knowing what the coach is preaching yeah now

Speaker 5 if we see a guy

Speaker 5 that's trying to get his

Speaker 5 then obviously you know the vibe is different or we see for example if i'm a big man and i'm supposed to be talking to coverage on the high

Speaker 5 pick and roll and letting my guard know that a screen is coming and for my guard to force it left or force it right and I don't do my job and my guard gets hit with a screen and now the ball handler comes off and he have a clean 15 foot pull-up jump shot without anything happening, then I'm not doing my job.

Speaker 5 That means I'm not engaged. That means I'm not focused.

Speaker 5 Those are the little things that matter.

Speaker 1 What, what, so the Thunder crowd is incredible. We, we, we joke.
They lead the league in wearing the t-shirt, the free t-shirt.

Speaker 1 I didn't realize, but before the game, they have a t-shirt cam that basically shames everyone who doesn't put on the t-shirt. I like that.
They just go around and

Speaker 1 put on the t-shirt. When you were playing there, because

Speaker 1 you were on the Thunder at a similar kind of point where it's like a young team, a fun team going deep in the playoffs.

Speaker 1 What is it like playing in Oklahoma City and especially for the opponent?

Speaker 5 Is this

Speaker 5 I could curse him?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can say whatever the fuck you want. God damn it.

Speaker 5 It was fucking unbelievable.

Speaker 5 When I took, hey, look, when you the motherfuckers in OKC,

Speaker 5 that city, that state embraces you like no other, right?

Speaker 5 Because the only, I mean, you're in competition with nothing else except for, you know, colleges, but as far as on a professional level, shit, it's just you. Yeah.
And it's just y'all.

Speaker 5 And so, man, you know, just when you're doing things and you're winning, man, it's just a different type of vibe. Do y'all remember when, you know, this, the, uh,

Speaker 5 that franchise got to Oklahoma? Yeah. Yeah.
It was, they used to have that meter because it used to be so loud in there. And it's a real thing.
I mean, literally feeding off the energy of the crowd.

Speaker 5 um and there's no disrespect to boston because boston was great i mean they give you chills in the history but when that when that city gets behind you and you're playing winning basketball and they they start to believe, ooh,

Speaker 3 there's nothing like it. It does seem different down there.

Speaker 1 Did you have an MVP vote?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I did have an MVP.

Speaker 1 And who did you vote for MVP?

Speaker 5 I voted for SGA. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So you think he should have won MVP?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I voted for Shea because, listen, hear me out. Okay,

Speaker 5 Shea, last year. First of all, Oklahoma didn't even make the playoffs.

Speaker 5 This year, they're the number one seed in the Western Conference. Okay, Shea is third in the league in scoring, averaging 30.
He's first in the league in steals.

Speaker 5 He's shooting fucking 54% from the field as a shooting guard. Do you realize that they have big men that doesn't shoot that percentage around the rim?

Speaker 5 Okay, and then to top it off, when you look at it, it's like, Damn, what else do we have to do? What else do we have to do?

Speaker 5 He has the best record in a tough Western conference, a tough Western conference. Well, the ninth intensity was 10, 11 games above 500.

Speaker 5 And so, you know, you think about what he's doing with the second youngest team in the NBA. I mean, how does he not get the node? Yeah.
So many guys were

Speaker 5 deserving of it, okay? Whether it was Luca, Jokic,

Speaker 5 even Jalen Bronson, Anthony Edwards, so many guys could have won the award, but I just thought what the SGA did and how he carried this team and brought this team along, I was like, he's for sure deserving of the MVP.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's had an incredible, incredible season. So we're watching, I think we can safely say the Celtics game is over.

Speaker 3 There's a minute left.

Speaker 1 There's a minute left. They've gotten absolutely smoked by the Cavs.

Speaker 1 Our producer, Hank, here, sitting on the couch. He's a die-hard Celtics fan.
He loves you.

Speaker 1 But what do you say to him and to the Celtics? Because

Speaker 1 the Celtics are still the best team in the East. One game doesn't change it.
But you can also say at the same time, when they look bad, it looks so bad.

Speaker 5 Hey, first of all, fix your body language, okay? It's going to be okay.

Speaker 1 Fix your body language over there.

Speaker 5 All right, there we go. There we go.
Go ahead and sit up. Look, I'm happy that the Celtics lost.
You know why? Because they need this. They need to be able to face adversity.

Speaker 5 They need to be able to weather some storms, right? The only thing that I hate about it is that they worked so hard all season long to establish

Speaker 5 a place of dominance in a home arena that don't lose games at home, right?

Speaker 5 That's supposed to be a place where teams is like, you know what, man, we coming up in here and nowhere in hell we can get a win. I just think about that 2008 season.

Speaker 5 Us having home court advantage actually was the key reason why we, the number one reason why we won won the NBA championship.

Speaker 5 It was the number one reason because we knew once we got you back to the garden, we was going to spank that ass. And we did that.

Speaker 5 But the Celtics need this. The Celtics need this because now you can expect a different version of the Boston Celtics come game three.
And it's going to get them prepared for the long haul.

Speaker 5 And that's winning it all.

Speaker 1 Let's go, Hank. Come on, Hank.
Spank that ass. Spank that ass.
Spand that ass, Hank. What is it, though? They have weirdly struggled at home in the last two years or three years, I think it is.

Speaker 1 Like they're about 500 in the playoffs at home. What is that?

Speaker 5 I don't know. It almost feels like they don't have a sense of urgency at times and they get too relaxed.
But that comes with the best player on their team and Jason Taylor, right? Like,

Speaker 5 he got to have that motor of being consistent, right?

Speaker 5 I'm going to apply pressure every single time. Paul Pierce, you know, a lot of people used to give so much credit to Kevin Garnett, KG, the big ticket, and rightfully so.

Speaker 5 But Paul Pierce took it so personal when somebody, a matchup, came into his house, whether it was LeBron, Kobe, you know, Joe Johnson, whoever it was, he took it personal. It was like, not near.

Speaker 5 And that's what Tatum got to start doing.

Speaker 5 You can't let people walk in your house without taking their shoes off and then kick their feet up on your coffee table and tell you to get them something to drink.

Speaker 1 Come on, Hank. Fair point, Hank.
You're letting them just walk all over your house.

Speaker 3 You're getting the Cavs a bottle of wine. You're opening up a fresh bottle of red for the Cavs.

Speaker 1 And Hank, and he gets also down on himself. He doesn't stay, you know.

Speaker 5 It's a seven-game series, bro.

Speaker 7 I did see you say after game one, it was like dominant performance from the Celtics, Celtics in six.

Speaker 1 Yeah, surprisingly.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
So the Cavs play basketball. You get paid to play two.

Speaker 5 Yeah, you're going to lose games in the playoffs. It's okay.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you'll be okay, Hank.

Speaker 3 See, Hank had expectations going to this series that they were gonna they were gonna win by a cumulative score of a hundred points so still in play they were gonna win four games by 25 points how much did you lose by was it 25

Speaker 1 did you did you lose by 25 points tonight no i think they lost by 24.

Speaker 7 oh all right so we're plus one you're plus one

Speaker 1 three thirty thirty pieces you got some makeup okay you're fine perk do you think that there's yeah you're okay you think that the celtics kind of missed marcus smart kind of missed that edge i mean

Speaker 5 that's to to be determined right like they got to complete the mission in order for me to say that. But again, they gave up Marcus Smart to get who?

Speaker 3 I mean, it's a fair point.

Speaker 3 I think that

Speaker 5 they gave up Marcus Smart to get Chris Dy Prasinkas. Am I right? Yep.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 The one concern that I have for the Boston Celtics

Speaker 5 is, can Chris Dow Prasinkas be healthy for four seven-game series?

Speaker 5 And right now, the answer is no.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 They're going to need him. They can't win at all unless they have him, and he got to be healthy.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So speaking of health, the Knicks, who have been electric these playoffs, your guy, Big Body Brunson, that's what you've given him his nickname. Love that nickname.
But now

Speaker 1 I feel like they got no one left. It's crazy.
Mitchell Robinson's out.

Speaker 1 OG is out for game three. Questionable for Jalen Brunson.
At what point is it like they're just losing too many guys?

Speaker 1 I know they're up 2-0, but it feels like, especially with their bench, they're just running out of bodies.

Speaker 5 I mean, they are, and it's unfortunate.

Speaker 5 Far as making a run, when you're trying to make a real championship run, you need a lot of luck, and that includes being healthy, right?

Speaker 5 But last night, Tom Thibodeau did a post, well, an in-game interview, and they asked him about OG and Anobi.

Speaker 5 And before he he turned off with that snow and that that that attitude he said next man up that's been their mentality all season long you got to realize man

Speaker 5 when it comes to dante big body bronson and uh josh hart

Speaker 5 those guys were groomed right from villanobi They know how to play the game the right way. They know how to compete at a high level.

Speaker 5 So those three have a different type of confidence that when they step on the floor together, they feel like they could compete and be anyone in the league. And they have shown us that.

Speaker 5 And they feel like they could make anybody around them better, right? We're watching Isaiah Hardenstein. He's going out there doing this thing, almost had a triple-double, you know, last night.

Speaker 5 You're watching, you're watching McBride come in off the bench and spurts and have big moments being aggressive. And when you have that type of leadership, you're capable of winning any type of game.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 In terms of Rick Carlisle and his comments after, do you think those were baby comments? Because I feel like that was a little too much crying. I understand trying to work the rest.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 I understand. Yeah, but that was too much.
Like, don't give up 130 to a Knicks team that has four guys.

Speaker 5 Now you're preaching. Now you're preaching.
Again, look, you're mad at the refs, right? for reversing a call that it wasn't a double dribble, but you're not mad mad at yourself, right?

Speaker 5 You're not mad at yourself. Look, my grandmother, I love her to death.
She got all-timers, right? And, you know, it's part of life, but she would have remembered to push TJ

Speaker 1 McCove back in the game.

Speaker 5 Damn, Rick Carlisle, you didn't forget not one time, you forgot twice. You didn't put him back in the fourth quarter for game one, and you didn't put him back in the fourth quarter for game two.

Speaker 5 He has been

Speaker 5 probably their best player to guard Jalen Brunson. And Jalen Brunson has been having it his way in the fourth quarter.
You didn't even think about putting him back in.

Speaker 5 And on top of that, listen, I understand

Speaker 5 the Knicks, their mindset, the way that they attack the offensive glass.

Speaker 5 But you're not going to say nothing about the offensive rebounds, especially late in the fourth quarter.

Speaker 5 Like, it's things that he needs to be worried about and addressing for us with his team than be crying about the officials. And then the last thing, the small market BS.

Speaker 5 Dallas and Oklahoma City playing against each other, right?

Speaker 5 Minnesota playing, huh? So what is he talking about? Small market teams want to fire opportunity as well. You got your chance.
Yeah. You up double figures.
It's loser talk.

Speaker 1 It's loser talk. That's what it is.

Speaker 3 Like, I'm a loser, big cat. Our team stink.
We're very familiar with loser talk.

Speaker 3 Anytime you send your video staff to make a compilation of 78 missed calls and then send them to the NBA, like it's going to do anything.

Speaker 3 Like that, that envelope is probably not even going to get opened, but you had your video staff.

Speaker 3 You had your video staff sit down for hours and make a compilation of missed calls. That to me seems like

Speaker 3 you're fighting a losing battle and you're spending a lot too much energy fighting that losing battle.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yeah.

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Speaker 1 Do you have any animosity towards Rick Carlisle for the two free throws he made you take like 15 years ago? And how much did that suck?

Speaker 1 So for people who don't know, it was Paul Pierce got kicked out of a game, but he had two free throws.

Speaker 1 And then the opposing team gets to pick whoever they want on the other bench, and they picked you, and you missed them both.

Speaker 1 Did that, when you had to come in cold off the bench, were you like, fuck, this is going to suck?

Speaker 5 As a youngster. And I'm standing at the free throw line on the road by myself.

Speaker 5 And far as like with that situation, I at least wanted to see the first one go in. It would have gave me hope to make the next one.
But now, I wasn't mad at Rick Carlos about that.

Speaker 5 You know what I mean? I thought it was pretty fucked up. He picked on me, but it is what it is.
But it's no bee.

Speaker 1 It's no bee. I would just show Rick Carla.

Speaker 5 I actually showed him a lot of love.

Speaker 5 over the season for being able to make that transition. Because remember, a lot of his players from Dallas didn't have a lot of positive things to say about him, right?

Speaker 5 They didn't have a lot of positive things to say about him. So, when he got to Indiana, he started to adjust his coaching style, letting those guys play.
So, you know, it's all love.

Speaker 5 I just wish he stopped that damn crying.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I would hold a grudge if I were you. I would be like, that was, it was embarrassing.
You made me stand out there all by myself and shoot free throws.

Speaker 3 That's like, that's most people's worst nightmare.

Speaker 1 Yeah, picking you off the bench. That's fucked up.

Speaker 3 You brought up up the finals that you played in. What about the other finals when you unfortunately injured your knee? Do you think you guys win that series if you don't get hurt?

Speaker 5 Absolutely. Look, our starting five never lost the playoff series when everyone was healthy.
That's a fact. That's a fact.

Speaker 5 You know, and I mean, you know, at the end of the day, we still should have won that game. We were up 14 points going into the fourth quarter and a couple breakdowns,

Speaker 5 guys were fatigue, fatigue, and all of a sudden, you know, Ron Artes

Speaker 5 goes for 20 and 10. The on-song hero, I believe, Kobe Bryan, walk out the game with like 15, 16 rebounds.
Because whoever dominated the glass in that particular game

Speaker 5 and in that series,

Speaker 5 whoever dominated the glass in those games won the basketball game. That's who won the series.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
They missed you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. So I want to get some of your spicy takes that you got going right now.
You think LeBron James should retire?

Speaker 5 See, you know what? Let's have it, let's have an intelligent conversation.

Speaker 1 Let's do it.

Speaker 1 I agree with your take, by the way. Oh, I don't want to have an intelligent question.

Speaker 5 Okay, so

Speaker 5 I was following up on

Speaker 5 my big brother, Michael Wilborn. Okay,

Speaker 5 we know that Wilbourne believes that Michael Jordan is the GOAT, right? And Wilborne went on a rant talking about

Speaker 5 the firing of Darvin Ham and how LeBron and AD lack accountability.

Speaker 5 So I went on first take with Stephen A. And the topic was brought up about, the topic was LeBron James, 10 head coaches in 21 years, right?

Speaker 5 Does that, like, you know, basically, does it say something about LeBron James having 10 coaches? And I'm like,

Speaker 5 it does. And I'm like, I wish he would retire because at this point, I'm looking at it.
What else is it for LeBron to accomplish? He has nothing else to accomplish.

Speaker 5 Because even if he wins another championship, he still don't have six. So the MJ

Speaker 5 people out there in the world still going to say MJ got six. Okay.

Speaker 5 So you're playing in every single season that you're playing and that you don't win the championship because the expectations.

Speaker 5 When you're in the Laker uniform, especially if you're LeBron playing at an elite level, it's going to be what? Championships. I don't give a damn if he's in a wheelchair.

Speaker 5 It's going to be championships. And so every single season that you don't win, then you give more animosity

Speaker 5 or more

Speaker 5 arguments to come at you about the GOAT debate. And I wasn't attacking LeBron's legacy or saying, like, his legacy.
We know he's the all-time leading scorer in NBA history.

Speaker 5 We know he hit 40,000 points.

Speaker 3 But when it comes down to his legacy, his legacy now is measured on the goat conversation i like that and the firing of dark the firing of darbenham does not look good on him i like that take though because it's saying that if lebron james continues to play basketball even at a high level he's just proving all the people out there that are haters yeah you're right he's not mj thank you it's it's so

Speaker 3 it's a weird situation he's in

Speaker 5 yeah but but listen even even if i i couldn't find and i wanted to so bad I couldn't defend them. I couldn't go at my brother Wilborne or Stephen A about that particular matter.
They were right.

Speaker 5 I had to agree with them. I couldn't lie.

Speaker 3 What about when you're talking to Mad Dog? When you have a segment with him, do you have to go back to like a basketball almanac, back to like 1963 and get some stats ready for him?

Speaker 5 Look, I've only been on twice with Mad Dog.

Speaker 5 And I don't give him an opportunity to go back that far. But I must say, what are you you mad about? Those rants are

Speaker 5 legendary. Even when I'm not on, I want to listen to this shit.

Speaker 3 Yeah, he's very talented.

Speaker 1 No, he's incredible.

Speaker 1 I think we agree because you're obviously an NBA guy, but we were four football guys, and we thought the hypothetical about the NBA NFL thing was stupid.

Speaker 1 And there's no NFL players that, if you said they had to do it in the next month, there's no NFL players that could go and play in the NBA in the next month.

Speaker 1 I think maybe no one will just agree on this hypothetical. That's just why it exists and why we do it every couple years.
But

Speaker 1 do you think there's some NBA guys who could play in the NFL? I think it's very small. I don't think it's 30.
I think Austin Rivers is a little too much with that.

Speaker 1 But I also think there's zero NFL guys who could play in the NBA next month.

Speaker 5 How did we get here?

Speaker 1 It's a July argument. We should have done it in July.

Speaker 5 Right, right. But you know what? Look,

Speaker 5 I have a list. I have five players.
I think I got six. I did a big list today of five players.
I said, Marcus Smart,

Speaker 5 Anthony Edwards, Russell Westbrook,

Speaker 5 Jalen Suggs, and LeBron James.

Speaker 5 Those five guys, I believe, could stop playing basketball right now and go find a spot on the football field. They have the mentality.
They still got the athleticism. You know, they got the size.

Speaker 5 They can go find a spot. And I forgot one key person, Luke Luke Dort.

Speaker 5 Luke Dort can go find a spot as well. That's it.
I couldn't really, like, after that, I was like, ah, nah, he too soft. Yeah.
He can't get it. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Like, nah, but I was just like, you know, and Austin actually was supposed to be in the day, but he called in sick, talking about his stomach was hurting or whatever the case may be.

Speaker 5 So they're like, Perk, we need you to do the big list. I'm like, it's not even my fight.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so we got dragged into it. So, so what do people get for, again, this is never, no one's ever going to agree on this.
Everyone's got their sides.

Speaker 1 But what would you say that people get wrong the most about current NBA and like the level of skill and player that's in the NBA right now?

Speaker 1 That, like, if you would understand this, you'd understand that it's impossible for someone from the NFL to just show up and be an NBA player.

Speaker 5 Well, I think it's more so like the coordination part of it, being able to do a behind-the-back, between-the-leg step back on a consistent basis at an efficient level, right?

Speaker 5 Like, I think, you know, they take that for granted.

Speaker 5 And it's the IQ of the game, right? Being able to do it in that moment, right? Being able to have a guy on your hip and, you know, come around us, pick and roll, keep him on your hip and

Speaker 5 split the defender with a with a crossover in between and left-hand scoop. Like, like the coordination just on a different level.

Speaker 5 But I don't want, I look, I don't want no smoke with any of the football guys, okay? Big Swaggu

Speaker 5 and JJ White and you know, Miles Garrett. I look, man, we all cool, Big Perk, cool, man.
I respect everything that y'all are out there doing on the football field. I want no smoke.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I feel like you could have played, though.

Speaker 3 You would have been the answer to that question back in like 2008.

Speaker 5 Yeah, hey, I'm telling you, tight end and DN, I was a problem. I was a problem.
Texas football, baby.

Speaker 5 Yeah, Priday night light.

Speaker 1 I also think it's, and I understand it. NFL players get

Speaker 1 they're upset because they think like their toughness is being questioned.

Speaker 1 No one ever questions the toughness of it. Being in the NFL is an insane thing to be able to do.

Speaker 1 And that's why I thought like maybe a couple guys, like there, there are a lot of guys in the NBA that if they got hit, they would be like, no, Moss instantly.

Speaker 5 Yeah, for sure. For sure.
I mean, they no Moss instantly right now in the NBA, let alone the NFL.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they would not like.

Speaker 3 Anthony Davis would not like going to training camp and getting hit in training.

Speaker 1 For sure. No chance.

Speaker 3 It's a guarantee. So you had Suggs number one, right? Jalen Suggs.
Is that because he's got cousins, right? Terrell Suggs is his cousin.

Speaker 5 No.

Speaker 5 You better check Jalen Suggs.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he was Mr. Football in Minnesota.
Was he really? Yeah, 15.

Speaker 5 Yeah, 1,500 passing yards, I believe. 600 rushing yards, through for 12 touchdowns.

Speaker 1 He was really good. Yeah, he was really good.

Speaker 5 He was recruited by Ohio State and Nebraska.

Speaker 1 Okay. No, he was really, really good.

Speaker 3 And Terrell Suggs is second cousin, too. There we go.

Speaker 3 Okay, good list.

Speaker 3 But no, Giannis on the list.

Speaker 5 I don't know.

Speaker 5 Like, once you start getting to that level of being like six, eight, and above, I got to see footage on it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 I saw LeBron James play football in high school. I saw what he did in Ohio.
Like, I ain't seen Giannis play football. I don't know.
I don't know if he could play receive and catch. I don't know.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Somebody else tweeted me a really good idea, I thought, for that debate, which was Wimby under center on the goal line, just snap it to me, sticks his arms out. It's a touchdown.

Speaker 3 It's like the Drew Brees, except you don't have to jump. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Not a bad idea.

Speaker 3 So who do you have? Who do you have in the finals and who's your champion this postseason?

Speaker 5 So I got the Celtics coming out of the East.

Speaker 5 I got the Minnesota Timberwolves coming out of the West. And I got Anthony Elwoods, finals MVP, Minnesota taking it off.

Speaker 1 At 22, it'd be quite something.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but he got an old soul.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 He got an old soul.

Speaker 1 He does.

Speaker 5 He's different. He's different.

Speaker 5 Don't he make you, like, don't he, he, he make you look forward to watching basketball

Speaker 1 when he plays. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 5 He can't wait till tomorrow. Yeah.
I was, I was upset when game two ended because I said, damn, I gotta wait all the way to Friday to watch this man.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I've been saying that all playoffs like when it's not an Anthony Edwards night, I'm kind of bummed out. I'm like, well, fuck what the hell?

Speaker 1 Like, yeah, I'll watch these games, but I wish Anthony Edwards was playing in it.

Speaker 1 It would be nice. Hey, I got a dumb question for you.

Speaker 1 Kendrick Lamar versus Drake, do you have to take Kendrick's side just because of the name?

Speaker 5 No, but I actually like Drake delivery better.

Speaker 5 I think Drake came, you know, the way he

Speaker 5 the way he put, what he put into it, like with Kendrick Lamar, I kind of got to be like, ah, let me put it on, let me repeat and listen to this again.

Speaker 5 I kind of get lost, but Drake kind of, you know, he simplified for you. He shoot it out there, you know, and do what he do.

Speaker 5 I just hope that it ends. I'm like, when is it going to stop? Okay, the first, like the first

Speaker 5 one, Drake shot out there, Kendrick responded, Drake responded, Kendra responded. I'm like, is this about to be an all-summer thing?

Speaker 1 Because I don't have time for this shit.

Speaker 1 They're both going to accidentally do an album.

Speaker 1 Shit. Whoops.

Speaker 3 Kendrick's going to keep going after him, I think, just like every week.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I just thought maybe because, you know, Kendrick is a somewhat unique name, like that you just be like, I got to ride with Kendrick's no matter what.

Speaker 5 No, no, no.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 So I try to shy away from the name Kendrick and get called Perk.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Perk's good.

Speaker 1 I like the name Kendrick, though.

Speaker 3 Perk has no negative connotations to it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, Perk, we love having you on. This is always so much fun whenever you're on.
I had one last question for you.

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Speaker 1 So, my last question is, and this is maybe just an excuse to get to hear you say the word dog again.

Speaker 1 Can you give us your top three dogs right now in the NBA? Oh,

Speaker 5 that's a great. Okay.

Speaker 1 Great. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Well, number one is going to be Anthony Edwards.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Rockwaller. Rockwaller.
No T-cup poolers, okay? Rockwaller. Now, it's a certain type of dog you got to be.
No T-cup poolers.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 5 I'm going to go. I'm going to go Anthony Edwards.
I'm going to go Jalen Brunson.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Big body Brunson. Six foot, not athletic, leading the playoffs and scoring.
You got to be some type of damn dog. Damn it, he's that.

Speaker 5 At number three,

Speaker 5 I got to go with Josh Hort.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. So the Knicks leave the league and dogs.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Josh Hart didn't play, what, four

Speaker 5 consecutive games without getting a minute rest? Yeah.

Speaker 5 And still, when he led the game, he still got more in the tank.

Speaker 1 It's crazy.

Speaker 5 He's the best rebounding guard in the playoffs

Speaker 5 imagine averaging over 11 rebounds at 6'5 in today's game you gotta have something

Speaker 5 you gotta have some type of you know what i'm saying some real dog in you

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 5 forgot that 6'5 to to average that many rebounds is it more about his dog or is he also like a sneaky smart player is he an intelligent dog no no because he's gonna get the he gonna to get that in traffic it's a difference if you know oh big's boxing out no when you're going to get offensive rebounds and snatching them in traffic when you shoot a free throw when you shoot a free throw and yo and you miss your own free throw and you go get an offensive rebound and put it back that's that's having a dog mentality

Speaker 5 there's nothing else past that yeah dog that plays in traffic so the knicks lead the league in dogs i like that yeah yeah they got two dogs so i mean think about it my top three dog list is pretty damn good.

Speaker 5 You got, you got Anthony Elwood, who's undefeated in the postseason right now, right? Who just knocked off Kevin Durant, told him about it. Okay.
He told them about it. Oh, yeah, you're my GOAT.

Speaker 5 And then knocked him off. Before the series, he said, oh, everybody, you know, think that Bradley Bill and Devin Book are the best two guard in the league, but I feel like I am.

Speaker 5 And went out there, bust their ass. That's having a dog mentality.
And now he's telling the the world, oh, Jokic, yeah, we got to be on our P's and Q's. He's the best player in the world.

Speaker 5 And then he goes out when he's doing what he's doing right now to the Denver Nuggets.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's all facts.
Dogs.

Speaker 3 And Jimmy Butler's like, he's a dog. He's definitely a dog, but he's the dog that's like behind the fence and doesn't actually have to get into the fight.
And he just does the barking.

Speaker 5 Yeah, yeah, but he's in the dog house.

Speaker 1 He got in the crib. Yeah, like dogs.
Yes, he is. Yeah,

Speaker 5 he barking from the house.

Speaker 5 You know how you got some of them dogs, you go to your partner's house or when you was young or your friend's house or your neighborhouse that they have a dog barking, but he never come out the house.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 1 His dog goes. Yeah, that's Jimmy right now.

Speaker 3 You're walking by in the street and you're getting barked at. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Beware of dogs.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.
Well, Perk. Thank you as always.
We love having you on, man. You're the best.
And good luck with the rest of the playoffs, all the shows you're doing. You're working hard.

Speaker 1 You watch games. I know you have that beef.
Is the beef squashed with Chuck?

Speaker 5 I mean, it wasn't no beef. You know, I just told the truth, and they got their feelings about it.
And I wasn't trying to take a shot at them.

Speaker 5 It just came out naturally, you know, when they was talking about the Knicks, and I was like, they don't know a damn thing about the Knicks because they don't really watch basketball. Yeah.

Speaker 5 And, you know, whatever.

Speaker 5 I got bigger things and other things to worry about, like actually focusing on the game of basketball. This is the most crucial time of the year.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, I had one last question.

Speaker 1 Your running mate, I know it's a sensitive topic, but Big Baby Davis, he actually said today that he's going to be able to go to prison and not eat cheeseburgers, so he's going to get in shape.

Speaker 1 Do you still talk to him at all?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I actually talked to Big Baby about

Speaker 5 three days ago. Yeah.

Speaker 1 How's he doing? Three days ago.

Speaker 5 And it wasn't nothing. It was just a phone call, you know, checking in on him.
I ain't even asked him about the situation. I knew he was dealing with it.

Speaker 5 But Big Baby, man, he from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. He's going to handle that time.
He go do the time. The time ain't going to do him.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. And I mean, it is a great spin zone to to be like, I'm probably just going to get in really good shape.

Speaker 5 Yeah. I mean, you go do it and come on home.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Maybe make a comeback.

Speaker 3 Read a few books. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Big three back out there. Um, all right.
Well, Perk, thank you again. Uh, I know you got a crazy busy schedule.
We love having you on, man.

Speaker 5 I appreciate y'all, fellas, and keep up the great work. Real talk.

Speaker 1 Man, I'll tell you what. When you're hungry out there, you start acting like a rookie quarterback in his first game, making bad decisions, messing up the basics, being all out of sorts.

Speaker 1 That's where Snickers comes in, man. That thing is packed.
Roasted peanuts, nugget, caramel, milk chocolate. It's like the MVP of candy bars.

Speaker 1 And when you bite into it, boom, it sorts you out, gets your head back in the game of life, satisfying your hunger. Remember this: Snickers handles your hunger so you can handle everything else.

Speaker 1 Snickers satisfies, man. That's a winning play.
Okay, let's wrap up. We got Firefest.
I'm very excited about Hanks.

Speaker 1 Henry. Also, Memes is out on a bachelor party.
Jake is calling golf all weekend. Go listen, please.
We're very proud of Jake.

Speaker 7 He's J Tor Live. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Crushing it.

Speaker 3 He's calling Max's group.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's calling Max's group. He's been crushing it with the golf coverage.

Speaker 1 He's been picking up, you know, what is this, his third tournament this year so far? So

Speaker 1 please go watch. So it's just me, PFT, Hank, and Max here.
Max has a Fire Fest for us. But Hank, we always start with you, so go ahead.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I have a couple of the first, memes isn't here, but he,

Speaker 7 Mr. Pear, two nights in a row.
Jinx.

Speaker 9 Two heartbreaking.

Speaker 1 Correct.

Speaker 7 Mega chokes.

Speaker 9 Mega choke last.

Speaker 7 The fact that it was back-to-back, he had the stars two nights ago. They blew a three-goal lead, and then he had the Oilers last night.
He had Hezzy Hay to pick the Oilers. Yep.

Speaker 7 Thought it was a lock.

Speaker 1 Also, it's grouped.

Speaker 7 And just an all-time joke.

Speaker 1 Also blew a three-goal lead. Maybe 4-1.

Speaker 3 Period of the week, third period. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 the Mr. Perry, and he also, memes has been kind of getting cocky when his teams go up 3-0.
Yeah. And then he starts tweeting these AI things that he's addicted to.

Speaker 1 By the way, tune into the PM TV if you missed it. It released Thursday night.
Mr. Per picks his NHL and NBA champions.

Speaker 1 Oh, he's a very good term.

Speaker 1 I did put it in.

Speaker 7 Do you know what he picked?

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 I'll watch. I don't watch it.
He'll be happy. No,

Speaker 1 don't say anything.

Speaker 3 Wait, will he be happy with the NHL or NBA?

Speaker 1 You don't know.

Speaker 1 Maybe you have to tune in to find out.

Speaker 3 I hope he picks both Boston teams.

Speaker 1 Me too.

Speaker 1 Do you, though? Because he kind of sucks right now.

Speaker 7 Well, as long as Memes doesn't do the AI, which I'm sure he will now, because he wants to

Speaker 3 motion me. Have you noticed that Memes is getting very, very protective over Mr.
Perry?

Speaker 1 Noticed.

Speaker 1 It's crazy.

Speaker 3 Like, he won't let anybody look at the turtle. Right.
He's like, what are you doing?

Speaker 1 He's sleeping right now. All he does is stare at it.
He's like, oh, still sleeping.

Speaker 3 I think he's in love with Mr. Pear.

Speaker 1 I like how this is the most we've ever talked about, memes. No, the one joke.
So

Speaker 3 I was walking to the show the other day. I came around the corner and memes was kissing Mr.
Pear

Speaker 1 on the lips. I think he actually, when he takes Mr.
Pear home, he just puts him in the front of his underwear.

Speaker 3 Drives him home that way. That's how they sleep.
That's his bed. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, Mr. Memes is obsessed with Mr.
Pear, which is good. That's good.
It's very good, but it is a little weird. Because it's the turtle.

Speaker 1 It's a turtle that does nothing but sleep and shit in its own water.

Speaker 3 He's also very cute, though.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, he's the cutest.

Speaker 7 My other Fire Fest, which I alluded to before we recorded, is that

Speaker 7 I might get caught up in some legal action. I'm not sure how this works, but I parked at the airport when I went home this past weekend, and I came back, was pretty hungover coming back.

Speaker 7 It was just like, it was a struggle getting on the

Speaker 7 plane. I told the guy next to me that I had food poisoning in case I puked.
Probably just reeked like boozo, so I don't think I was really hiding anything.

Speaker 1 So embarrassing.

Speaker 7 Yeah, no sodazone. I fell asleep.
Yeah, no worries.

Speaker 7 Get back to my car in the airport, had a boot on it.

Speaker 1 Oh, oh, no.

Speaker 7 And it's because, which I still am trying to figure out, it's not easy dealing with the DMV, but I guess I had red light, like

Speaker 1 car violations. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 7 But I haven't got, like, I hadn't got anything in the mail. Oh.

Speaker 3 Have you checked your mail? Yes. Okay.

Speaker 7 So I think it's like when I moved, somehow, my address didn't update, or it was violations I didn't know about.

Speaker 7 Had a boot on my car, had to walk like all the way across the parking lot to the boot place, pay, like, it wasn't a crazy amount, but I had to pay off the, it was like two or three red light violations, and then wait like an hour and a half for them to come take my boot off.

Speaker 7 Wait,

Speaker 3 so they've got license plate readers at the airport that scan every car that's going in to see if you have outstanding tickets? Yes, that is a fucking racket.

Speaker 1 It's essentially like when they do the Iron Bowl free ticket giveaway and they get everyone for not not paying their child support. Well, it was like that.

Speaker 9 Did you?

Speaker 7 They also, when I was pulling in, it was crazy busy and they had me park on like a curb. Like there was a bunch of cars on the curb, but there were signs on the curb that said no parking.

Speaker 7 But they literally were directing people to park there. So when I got back, I was so mad.
I was like, you know, getting ready to fight.

Speaker 7 Being like, I was, you know, looking at an attendant that told me to park here, and they're like, no, you just have like three red light tickets. Okay, so I don't even know what that means.
Well,

Speaker 1 I collect them like Pokemon cards. I get one a week.
For what? If you go through. So there's a couple intersections.
You got to know which ones. And it's not even...

Speaker 1 Like, I don't go through red lights. No.
I go through yellow lights that turn red. And

Speaker 1 if it's red while you're in the intersection, they will snap your picture. And I'm doing this at like two in the morning on Sunday nights when we leave and there's no one on the road.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But it doesn't matter. Get you.
It's a fucking racket.

Speaker 7 But you get them in the mail. I get them in the mail.

Speaker 3 One thing that I've noticed about Chicago and the drivers here is the left. Be careful.

Speaker 7 Be careful with this.

Speaker 1 No, no, no.

Speaker 7 I got cooked online for this and it's bullshit. Okay, a couple things.
This is niche Chicago. A couple things.

Speaker 3 I'll start out. I'll do a shit sandwich.
So the nice part first. People are very good about waving you in.
Yep. People love to wave you in.
If they'll stop for you, let you make a turn.

Speaker 3 If they know that they can't get any further because there's a traffic build up in front of them, they'll let you right in. Love that about Chicago drivers.
Very nice.

Speaker 3 The left turns.

Speaker 3 When the light is turning red, when it's yellow, I come from a place, I think most people grow up driving where you go out into the intersection, you make the left turn, maybe right after it turned red, right?

Speaker 3 That's totally fine. In Chicago, you've got like four cars that make that left after it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you pile up and you're ready to go. Everybody.
All you got to do is just basically be in line and you can make it.

Speaker 3 Yeah, if you're there, you can do it. But with the red light cameras, Hank, so I had my car booted in a McDonald's parking lot when I just stepped out of it.

Speaker 3 The boot on the car is such a racket. There's somebody that's...

Speaker 1 Well, the red light cameras are a racket. They are a racket camera.
Because it's just, it's like, like I said, I'm not,

Speaker 1 I would understand if you actively are going through a red light, which I do not do.

Speaker 1 It's going through a yellow light that then turns red, or like you said, going, you know, getting in line and being like, oh, I can go left here.

Speaker 3 I'll even say like two cars making that left after it turns red. That's normal.
That's fine. It's efficient driving.
Here it's like, it's like four or five something.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I like getting in that lane and just being like, I got this. This was like two or three weeks ago.
I tweeted this because it's insane.

Speaker 7 You sit at the red light and you see the light goes red. Four to five cars.
cars.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but that's well passed.

Speaker 7 It's just insane. And PFT is right.
It's only in Chicago. Like, I have literally driven across this entire country, have driven my entire life.

Speaker 7 And I tweeted, one thing I've learned driving in Chicago, everyone turns left on red right after it switches from yellow. It's just an unspoken thing a car three does every time.

Speaker 1 Every single response was like,

Speaker 9 dude, have you ever driven a car before?

Speaker 7 That's the most normal thing in the world.

Speaker 1 Like everyone does it everywhere.

Speaker 3 One car making a turn completely normal. But I like it.

Speaker 1 It's good.

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 1 it's hard to make that turn if everyone's waiting. You'll get at lights sometimes where it would be like if you went by the letter of the law, you'd be at that light forever.
No, I respect it.

Speaker 1 It was just an observation.

Speaker 7 I was like, one thing I know is about Chicago, and every single person dunked on me being like, oh, how about you drive in any other state in the world?

Speaker 3 So a lot of those lights that we're talking about, they... They are lights that don't even have the left turn arrow.

Speaker 1 Correct.

Speaker 1 They should.

Speaker 1 And they should.

Speaker 3 And this is their way of making up for it. It's like, I know we're not giving you an arrow.
So just take the first 10 seconds.

Speaker 1 But I also do it when there is a left turn arrow.

Speaker 3 Take the first 10 seconds of the red light to go ahead and everybody that's in line. If you're in line, stay in line.
You can make that left turn. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I would take what happens here over what happens in New York any day of the week because New York, people will do that.

Speaker 1 You can do the left turn thing if you're like the fourth in line, like PFT was saying, but you do it knowing that you're able to go down the next street.

Speaker 1 In New York, people will do that and just sit in the middle of the intersection. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just get off off the line. If you're trying to get into the tunnel or anything like that, that will just be the entire time.

Speaker 1 You'll just be sitting there and it just, all chaos breaks loose because none of the lights actually match up to when you can move. Yeah.
Yeah. I don't mind it either.

Speaker 7 I just literally said one thing I've noticed and people just were like, you fucking.

Speaker 1 I think people are still mad about this, calling winter over in like February. To be fair, what you said is different than what PFT said.

Speaker 7 I was trying to say exactly what he said. He was trying to be,

Speaker 1 but you

Speaker 1 specify the amount.

Speaker 3 He made it sound like one car making a one car.

Speaker 1 That is all across the country.

Speaker 1 If you are in your fourth, even two, even two, I do.

Speaker 3 Even two,

Speaker 1 three. I forgot all the time.
I do it all the time. I'd say, yeah,

Speaker 3 after the sixth time I saw the fourth car go through the light, I was like, I think this might be a Chicago car.

Speaker 1 You just got to be on your game. It is a Chicago.
You got to be on your game. No, I'm with it.

Speaker 7 I play the game. I like the game.
I respect it.

Speaker 1 It's a better game.

Speaker 7 It's just a Chicago thing. It's not like this everywhere else, much to people's disagreement.

Speaker 1 So you do it, though. You've gotten rid of the times.
Yeah, and it also makes it so that everyone's.

Speaker 7 And I've gotten like six fucking tickets doing it, apparently.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, I have two. People, you got to pay attention.
That's the other part. It's like, but now it's like, I don't want to do it.
You got to be ready to do it.

Speaker 7 I guess I got to figure out where.

Speaker 1 You just got to figure out where. I know exactly where a couple are on airports.

Speaker 7 There's one right down the street that is every time.

Speaker 7 I think we can. Because

Speaker 7 there's no left on green.

Speaker 3 We glossed over Hank's original point: he drove to the airport like a psychopath.

Speaker 1 That's also crazy. Why do you think he's a fan?

Speaker 7 I think two nights park in the lot.

Speaker 7 It's like $15 a night. So it's like

Speaker 7 $30 versus $80

Speaker 1 not for you. There's like it was like $300.
It was like

Speaker 1 $500, $600.

Speaker 7 But no, it's cheaper.

Speaker 1 But it actually worked out.

Speaker 7 And if you have time, yeah, I can't do it.

Speaker 1 Because if you imagine if you got booted on like a street that you were like running around doing errands. Yeah, like I had.
They got fucked?

Speaker 7 Yeah, I had time. I wasn't in a rush to get back.
When I said, I was like, you know, we could, you said we could do something at four. I was like, I can be there.
And we changed it. Yeah.

Speaker 7 I didn't get back till like 6:30.

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 3 I did drive to the airport one time in Chicago, and that's a never-again thing. You have to park.
I had to park so far away. But if you have time, it's not bad.

Speaker 7 You get on the shuttle.

Speaker 3 No, it's bad. It's bad.
I'm never doing that again.

Speaker 1 I like driving.

Speaker 1 I like driving too.

Speaker 7 I think two days, if you're going for a weekend trip,

Speaker 1 if you reserve your spot, it's a lot better. Oh, you can do that? Yes.
That's the thing. Like a restaurant? Yes.

Speaker 3 Like a jelly?

Speaker 1 I've done it at O'Hare. I used to do it at LaGuardia.
If I had like a one-day, 24-hour trip, you reserve your spot, you show up, you park.

Speaker 1 And then it does make sense if it's like one day, maybe two at max. Anything over two, the cost just doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 3 It doesn't. I would even say in Hank's circumstance, where it's like two days, you saved like 15 bucks.

Speaker 1 Well, again, no, because you got to do it.

Speaker 7 But it's also nice. I don't know.
I like to drive. I like getting off a plane.
I agree. And just like being like, I just got to get to my car.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I like driving. Yeah.
It's nice. You feel like you have more control.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah, sometimes. Okay.
Well, you're both.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. I'm actually a great driver.
If there's a poll, maybe not.

Speaker 3 Fantastic driver.

Speaker 1 Okay, so PFT, your Fire Fest?

Speaker 3 My Fire Fest of the Week is I have been accused of cheating and hacking on my favorite flight simulator game. Oh, no.
And I'm being threatened with a ban.

Speaker 1 By who?

Speaker 3 By other players.

Speaker 7 Oh, are you still in like a guild?

Speaker 3 That I'm beating. I am in a guild.
It's a squadron, Hank. Sorry.
I fly in a squadron. We're improving.
It's leaps and bounds. We're jumping against the charts.
Yeah, because you're cheating.

Speaker 3 I got accused of cheating.

Speaker 3 I was also called several racial slurs that I haven't heard in a long time by people accusing me of cheating. How do you cheat?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 3 It's one of those things where I think.

Speaker 1 Hey, let me ask that again.

Speaker 3 If you've been playing the game for a long time, I think if you're really into the subculture around the game and the lore, you know that there are ways of cheating if you're really into it.

Speaker 3 I have not spent that much time understanding. So I don't know how do you cheat.

Speaker 1 Are you playing on a computer or your phone?

Speaker 1 How do you phone? I don't know.

Speaker 1 He's on his sweet phone. No, no.
He's on his phone.

Speaker 7 I know, but I think if you're playing a computer PC game, it's much easier to be like, you're hacking, you installed something. How the fuck do you install hacks on an iPhone?

Speaker 1 Let me ask a question again because I think you were thinking like the broad terms. I'm saying, how do you cheat? How do I cheat? Because you clearly cheat.

Speaker 3 I cheat by being a really fucking good pilot.

Speaker 3 That's not cheating. No, it's not cheating.

Speaker 3 I cheat by being excellent.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 And I think some people get jealous of my excellence in the the cockpit. But I had one game.
I put up like four MVP performances in a row after each of these games.

Speaker 3 And then one of the guys I was just killing over and over again hit me up. And then he told all of his buddies, like, this guy's cheating.

Speaker 3 So now there's like, now I'm being bullied in my flight simulator game.

Speaker 1 Got it.

Speaker 3 It's tough.

Speaker 1 Is there a form?

Speaker 7 I guess I don't know if there is, you want to leak it, but is there like a outside forum or like Discord channel where like people constantly hate to.

Speaker 3 There is a Discord.

Speaker 3 I'm not, I don't participate in the the discord i haven't reached that level with it yet i you have to have a lot of time to participate in that kind of discord i might try and find it just to see just to see the chatter but i don't know yeah there might be like an effort a campaign behind the scenes to get me banned because i'm cheating sounds like there is what's your what's your kd uh a lot my usual i would say i probably kill like

Speaker 3 average nine planes die three times hmm it's pretty

Speaker 3 you might be you might be cheating but now i want to know how to cheat because that sounds like it'd be awesome yeah they've they've kind kind of

Speaker 1 spoken into existence. Now you have to cheat.

Speaker 1 You're going to be accused of cheating. You might as well cheat.

Speaker 3 You made me do that. Right, exactly.

Speaker 1 Because, like, if everyone's already going to think of you a certain way, just be like, fine, I'll fucking cheat.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but I mean,

Speaker 3 I haven't been called those words by a video gamer in a long time. Yeah.
It kind of feels like still got it.

Speaker 1 We playing against, what was his name?

Speaker 1 What was the

Speaker 1 fucking.

Speaker 3 Oh, the P player. Myers Leonard? Myles Myers Leonard.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Myers Leonard saw that. Yeah.
Myers Leonard.

Speaker 1 That was a mistake.

Speaker 1 Okay. My Fire Fest is

Speaker 1 I'm being held hostage by a guy named Chuck E Cheese.

Speaker 1 So, what is Chuck E Cheese's real name?

Speaker 3 His name is Charles. His middle name, the E, stands for entertainment.
So therefore, his name is Charles Entertainment Cheese.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so I took my kids.

Speaker 8 I thought that place closed a long time ago.

Speaker 1 Dude, it's not. It's not closed.
It might be back, actually.

Speaker 7 It definitely went bankrupt or something like that.

Speaker 1 It's not closed because I've been a couple times with my kids, and I don't know what happened, but my daughter, my middle child, she just thinks every day we're going to go to Chuck E.

Speaker 1 Cheese and I have to basically negotiate with a terrorist every single day that today's not the day we're going to Chuck E. Cheese.
And I've taken her many times, like more, I've gone to Chuck E.

Speaker 1 Cheese more than anyone should go to Chuck E. Cheese in the last few months, which is, I think, two or three times.

Speaker 1 But every single day, taking her to school, we get in the car and she's like, are we going to Chuck E. Cheese? I'm like, no, we're going to school.
She's like, oh, so we're going to Chuck E.

Speaker 1 Cheese later. No, we're not going to Chuck E.
Cheese today. It's Tuesday.
Then we get home. Dinner.
Is it time to go to Chuck E. Cheese? I don't know what to do.

Speaker 1 I think I got to say that it's closed down forever.

Speaker 3 You have to tell her that school is actually a Chuck E. Cheese.

Speaker 1 I'm so sick of Chuck E. Cheese.

Speaker 3 Yeah, just be like, this is Chuck E. Cheese.
This is the Chuck E. Cheese where you learn and color and do finger painting.

Speaker 1 It's just every day, Chuck E. Cheese.
When are we going to Chuck E. Cheese? Are we going to Cheese? Oh, I'm going to take a nap and then I'll get up and we'll go to Chuck E.
Cheese.

Speaker 1 No, this is not what we do. We don't go to Chuck E.
Cheese every day. But now I think I either have to go to Chuck E.
Cheese every day or, yeah, say that it's closed.

Speaker 3 Or here's what you do. You just give some, you give tickets to her teacher.
And then when she does an assignment, have her teacher

Speaker 3 be like, here's your tickets. You're at Chuck E.
Cheese. If you want, you can redeem these for like a tiny plastic dinosaur at the end of the day.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Like turn every place that she goes into Chuck Eschee.

Speaker 1 And we're going to do a birthday at Chuck E. Cheese for her.
So now it's going to just reignite the love for Chuck E. Cheese.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Chuck E.
Cheese does rock.

Speaker 1 It does rock, but I can't do it every day. Yeah.
And I've been asked, I would say

Speaker 1 16 out of the last 17 days, I've been asked, when are we going to Chuck E.

Speaker 3 Cheese? This is why you never do anything fun with your children. I know.

Speaker 1 I know. They want to go to the, you do one thing.
You got to do like the mine.

Speaker 7 I'm trying to think. Like, I feel like I would

Speaker 7 get told, like, if you don't talk about Chuck E. Cheese,

Speaker 1 maybe we'll go. Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 3 But then she's just going to be thinking about Chuck E. Cheese.
It's almost worse. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And it's like, she won't be able to focus on anything else besides Chuck E.

Speaker 3 Cheese. Don't say Chuck E.
Cheese.

Speaker 7 Like every time you bring up Chuck E. Cheese, we're not going for another day.

Speaker 1 I'm basically living with the Busters guy in a three-year-old girl body where she's just like, but you love Chuck E.

Speaker 3 Cheese. You could turn your entire house into a Chuck E.
Cheese.

Speaker 7 Yeah, we could just build an arcade here.

Speaker 1 We could do a Chuck E. Cheese arcade here.
Yeah, get Pasquale the parrot. The craziest thing is it's not even fun for her.

Speaker 7 I thought that was like a huge, like.

Speaker 1 When we go, it's not like there's, she's not at the point where she can play the video games. Yeah.
It's not really that fun, but she's not. There's a ball pit, right?

Speaker 1 There's no ball pit at this Chuck E. Cheese.
No.

Speaker 3 What's the point?

Speaker 1 I mean, there's like little rides, and then we play cruise in USA, and we crash into everything.

Speaker 3 That's fun.

Speaker 1 And then we get, and then we do the game where we try to win like a ball. Yeah.
And usually I fail and look like a fucking loser.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I think you just get a couple arcade machines. We can put them in the office.
We can even get a ball pit in the office. That would probably be good.
Yeah. And then just have...

Speaker 1 Oh, that would be good for our lice.

Speaker 3 It'd be really good for the lice to share around.

Speaker 3 One time my job was to be in charge of hosing down the ball pit whenever some kid diarrhea in it.

Speaker 1 Ball pits are gross. They're gross.

Speaker 3 Bad times. But yeah, just turn the office into a Chuck E Cheese and be like, we're going to Chuck E Cheese.
That's all I got. Or your house.
Put up a sign and be like, we're back to Cheese Cheese.

Speaker 3 Chuck E. Cheese.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're here at Chuck E. Cheese.
Welcome back, Chuck E. Cheese.
Yeah. But I, yeah, I just,

Speaker 1 it's breaking me slowly to have to just every single day be asked, are we going to Chuck E's? And again, I've, it's not like I'm being a hard ass, like, we're never going to Chuck E. Cheese.

Speaker 1 I've been to Chuck E. Cheese too many times.

Speaker 3 Do you like the pizza? I like Chuck E. Cheese pizza.

Speaker 1 It's good. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Now, I haven't had it since I was probably like 12. Yeah.
But it was really good.

Speaker 1 It is funny going back to all these places and being like, damn, this place is small. Yeah.
Whereas, like, when you were a kid, you're like, this is the craziest place ever.

Speaker 3 The animatronic band. I thought they were giants.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the light up dance floor. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Chuck E. Cheese rocks.

Speaker 1 So yeah,

Speaker 1 that's my Fire Fest. Max, finish us off.

Speaker 1 This past week has been, you know, it was a wedding. That's normal Firefest.
Flight got delayed. Love is Firefest? Wow.

Speaker 1 Seeing your friends at their happiest?

Speaker 1 The wedding itself was delightful, but like it's the normal thing.

Speaker 1 Flight was delayed, sweat through my shirt, outdoor wedding. That's not normal.
Sweating through your shirt at a wedding, that's every time for you. You are that guy.

Speaker 1 I'm the guy who goes as hard as you possibly could on a dance floor. You got the tie around your head? Not a tie.
No, the tie is in my back pocket

Speaker 1 jacket

Speaker 1 at the dinner table. Rip your pants.

Speaker 9 Rip your pants.

Speaker 1 I've ripped my pants before.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you definitely have that look on your face where you're dancing so hard you look angry.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 You are like the guy that every, you know, like mother of the bride looks at, and they're like, really? Correct. That is.
This is now, this was supposed to be a classy day and this guy's here. 100%.

Speaker 1 Matters.

Speaker 3 What's your move in terms of going up to the bartender at the start of an open bar wedding? So

Speaker 1 I'm normally two martinis and then and then beer. Two martinis.
Yeah, but what about tip? Because you got a tip. So I get, I do

Speaker 1 a 20 at the beginning,

Speaker 1 and then I'll get a couple drinks, and then once I feel like I've gotten enough drinks, it's a five. Do you say anything?

Speaker 1 No, I hate that.

Speaker 1 Do you say something? No, I never say anything. But

Speaker 1 the bartender always knows the 20, the person who gives you the 20.

Speaker 3 Sometimes you have to wait, though, to make sure the bartender sees you put the 20 in. Yes.

Speaker 1 I don't know if bartender, I assume any bartenders listening to this show,

Speaker 1 back me up if I'm way off, but they have to hate whenever someone gives them a 20 and they're like, take care of me for the rest of us. Keep them coming.
Yeah, yeah, that's the best.

Speaker 1 That's the fucking worst guy in the world. Like, what do you mean, take care of me? You're going to get, it's open bar.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's almost worse than not tipping because that you're saying

Speaker 3 you're saying that your, your $20

Speaker 3 will direct the course of this employee's evening for the rest of his night.

Speaker 1 And also, everyone's like, $20 is an absurd amount of money. There's probably

Speaker 1 20 people there who are giving him $20 to start the night. It's like the dude when you go on vacation,

Speaker 3 like, there's always one dude around the pool that thinks he's best best friends with the locals because you gave him a tip the first day it's like yeah yeah we're like we're basically friends for life like dude shut up during any wedding i i do the same thing i go up i usually do twenty dollars right off the bat and then after i get about three drinks in me four drinks in me then i'm like fuck it let's just give this guy more money you know spam him and then the next time i go up i'm like here's 40.

Speaker 1 yeah yeah they're like thank you i guess yeah and they from their perspective they just see a bunch of people all dressed the same yeah they don't even recognize who's who's giving what remember me i'm the guy that's wearing the tie.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Remember me, I'm the sweaty guy.

Speaker 1 So what was your fire fest? So my real fire fest is, this is like a year-long fire fest that has happened again this week. I'm in a battle with my deli guy at my grocery store.
Oh.

Speaker 1 I don't know if it's Chicago or if it's my specific grocery store that I go to, but I like, I go to the deli thing, I get my turkey, I get my cheese, but

Speaker 1 I like my cheese very thin. So then you got to say it.
I say it every time. Every time I go in there, I'm like very, very, very thin.

Speaker 1 And the guy will like give me a slice of cheese, and I'm like, a little bit thinner than that. And then he gives, and then once I go home, it's always thicker than when he gives it to me.

Speaker 3 Wait, you make him recut the cheese?

Speaker 1 No, sometimes they give you a sample. Okay.
Have you ever seen it? But wait, what do you say? Say this big uncomfortable thing.

Speaker 3 And how does this tie to a wedding?

Speaker 1 Say this. No, this is what I...
He's a sweaty guy, and he wants his cheese thin. No, the wedding,

Speaker 1 I wasn't ready ready to. I wasn't going to talk about the wedding.
I was just going to say, like, this past week, that's my Fire Fest of the week, which is like the normal wedding things.

Speaker 1 But, like, year long, I've been thinking about this Fire Fest of my battle with this cheese deli for

Speaker 1 every time Fire Fest. So, role play, I'm the guy who's cutting your cheese.

Speaker 1 Hey, hey, what can I get you? Hey, can I get the

Speaker 1 white American?

Speaker 1 Hey, I'm already done with you. Hey, can I get the white American sliced very, very very thin? I think you got it.
I think

Speaker 1 two very. I think very is the wrong word.
I need to say extra thin.

Speaker 1 Curry special.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 very is just not extra.

Speaker 1 If I do two very, that should mean

Speaker 1 that should mean very thin. No, extra feels like if you say, hey, can I get some cheese? I like it cut extra thin.

Speaker 3 Maybe hold up something in comparison. Like I would say, I've got a slice of paper.

Speaker 3 Yeah, bring a sheet of paper and be like, like this thin. Yeah, you're doing

Speaker 1 Jim Nance's toast.

Speaker 1 You need to just

Speaker 1 get it

Speaker 1 perfectly cut, and then just hold on to that slice of cheese for the rest of your life in a Ziploc bag in your pocket. And anywhere you go, you can be like, look, this is what I like.

Speaker 1 Try extra. Extra.
Okay. Just try extra.

Speaker 7 Try a different delta, too.

Speaker 1 No, but just try. No, but there's, I'm not going to go to a different grocery.
Let me know how extra works. I think for some reason, someone's saying very, very thin is just.

Speaker 3 But wait, if it's white American cheese, that's a very moist cheese.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Right?

Speaker 3 It might not be possible to cut white American cheeses thin.

Speaker 3 You might be asking them to do an impossible task.

Speaker 1 I mean, at the Acme in Philly, they get that thing as thin as shit.

Speaker 3 Well, then maybe you should just order your cheese from the Acme in Philly.

Speaker 1 Yeah, just say extra thin and let me report back. Okay.
You know what?

Speaker 3 Max, when's your birthday?

Speaker 1 This month. Oh, okay.

Speaker 3 I'm going to get you a cheese slicer. So you can cut your own cheese as thin as you want it.

Speaker 1 I don't even know how that's possible. What do you mean? You don't think you can buy a cheese slicer?

Speaker 3 But you're going to complain about somebody else doing it not thin enough for you?

Speaker 1 That's their job. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I think you give off bad vibes to these deli guys. I just want a thin.

Speaker 3 Let's be honest, if Max walked into your deli, the first thought you'd have is, this guy is going to be a fucking pain in the ass about how I cut the cheese.

Speaker 7 Let me get seven pounds of salami.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 you want enough pepperoni to cover up your nipples. I just want some thin cheese.
You need to say very, very thin is off capital. I don't know what a wedding has to do with any of this.
It's very off.

Speaker 1 It's very, very off. That's why you're still in the wedding, and

Speaker 1 why you brought it up in the first place. Try extra.
Very, very feels like you're scolding someone. Which is a slicer guy.
Very, very thin. I don't know what Mr.

Speaker 1 Pear had to do with your parking situation.

Speaker 7 That was to bring up PMTV, which I was asked to do.

Speaker 8 Smart. Plug God.

Speaker 1 Okay, fair. Extra.

Speaker 1 Extra. Got it.

Speaker 1 Very, very. Just, yeah, I don't know.
I'd be bothered by very, very. It feels like you're really kind of talking down to me.
Like, I don't know. Okay, that could be.

Speaker 1 Okay, I thought about it like that. Right, because when you say very, very, it's like, dude,

Speaker 1 well, that's a very, very special guest.

Speaker 1 When you say very twice, it's like, hey, buddy, I got it the first time.

Speaker 1 Okay. No, I don't.
I don't have it.

Speaker 7 Is it the same guy every time?

Speaker 1 No, it's different. I think.

Speaker 1 Let's get extra mixed in the lingo and report back.

Speaker 7 Is it a deli or is it a deli in a grocery store?

Speaker 1 It's a deli in a grocery store. Like the deli counter at the grocery store.
And maybe a little please and thank you. Oh, no, I do.

Speaker 1 I am polite.

Speaker 3 Do you tip him?

Speaker 1 But your whole tone and vibe is angry. Are you supposed to tip the deli counter?

Speaker 3 Maybe cut your cheese.

Speaker 1 Yeah, maybe say, Hey, hey, hey, take care of me for the rest of the time. All right, remember this face.

Speaker 3 How much do you go to this guy?

Speaker 1 He eats a lot of cheese. They should teach tipping.
They go to the grocery store. I probably get cheese every other week, go to the grocery store once a week.

Speaker 1 I think actually they shouldn't teach tipping in school.

Speaker 7 I never know.

Speaker 1 It's actually a good litmus test of like were your parents shitty or not.

Speaker 7 If you're a bad tipper, but there's things where you don't know like

Speaker 7 what to tip. Do you not tip? Give me, what are you talking about?

Speaker 1 Deli. No.

Speaker 3 No, I don't think you usually do. If there's a jar there and I've got, like, a $5 bill, I put it in.

Speaker 1 Yeah, or if it's like you're doing, I would tip if I was doing going to a deli and ordering so much stuff for a party that it was, you know, when you have to ask for a ton of stuff and you hold up everyone else because your guy's like running back, like, oh, and I'll take this and I'll take that.

Speaker 1 That would maybe be a tip.

Speaker 7 Do you do 20% at a restaurant, obviously, when you order takeout?

Speaker 1 Yes. 20%.

Speaker 3 Takeout or delivery.

Speaker 1 Yeah, is it pickup? Pick up or delivery.

Speaker 7 Delivery, I usually either one. I smash more.

Speaker 3 I do 25 on delivery.

Speaker 7 What about takeout?

Speaker 3 Takeout.

Speaker 1 Takeout, I'll tip a little. Probably like 15 to 20.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'll round up.

Speaker 3 I got soup on

Speaker 3 Tuesday night. I got ramen soup.
I did 20% on that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because they're still making the food.

Speaker 7 Yeah, no, I know. I just, there's.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I always tip when you pick up.

Speaker 1 But I wouldn't tip a full 25 on pickup, but I would would i'd tip because that money goes to uh like the the kitchen and the expo that does the the takeout stuff it's not to like a server hotel rooms yeah yes if i'm there for a long time i've started to do that a lot recently i like to write a little note yeah be like thanks for all you do appreciate you if i'm there for a night maybe not if i'm there for multiple nights i'll leave you know 40 like if we're super bowl week i'll leave a hundred or something because they've been cleaning it all week yeah

Speaker 3 also max happy birthday you're getting a cheese slicer so you can do your own cheese.

Speaker 3 You have nobody to complain to.

Speaker 1 I'm excited. Maybe we can build a shelf behind you and just have the slicer right there.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you should do a segment.

Speaker 3 That should be like a Max video, cutting the cheese with Max.

Speaker 1 Sounds great. Thrilling.

Speaker 1 Okay, good Firefest, boys. Let's do numbers.
Max, have you ever gotten this?

Speaker 1 No, I have not yet. PFT, have you gotten this? Not yet.
But he's going to.

Speaker 1 So am I.

Speaker 1 Someone offered me today.

Speaker 3 Wait, there's other people here that haven't gotten it, Max. Why are you singling me out?

Speaker 1 Why is Big Cat singling me out?

Speaker 3 I'm asking you.

Speaker 1 Because I have a rivalry with you in this because I told you I would get it before you.

Speaker 1 And the only other person is memes.

Speaker 1 Memes doesn't count.

Speaker 1 I almost took this guy up on an offer today. He said that he would buy a certain amount of Stella Blue coffee if I vacated my win, and then he'd buy double that if I then beat Max again.

Speaker 1 This tunnel of chaos. Kind of wanted to do it.
Kind of wanted to do it. Just be like, you know what? Vacate? I'll do it again.
I'll take eight. Watch me do it again.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 9 26, please.

Speaker 1 20.

Speaker 1 99, Pug. I'm going to go

Speaker 3 67.

Speaker 1 Show me an eight.

Speaker 3 Show me what Max doesn't like to do to thick cheese.

Speaker 1 38

Speaker 3 Love you guys talking away

Speaker 3 on the road

Speaker 3 to say I'm saved anyway.

Speaker 3 Today's not my day to find me you to shine

Speaker 3 away.

Speaker 3 I'll be coming for your love of please.

Speaker 3 Take

Speaker 3 on

Speaker 3 me.

Speaker 3 Take

Speaker 3 me

Speaker 3 on

Speaker 3 I'll be

Speaker 3 God's to say

Speaker 3 I've all designed it.

Speaker 3 But I'll be

Speaker 3 stumbling up

Speaker 3 to okay.

Speaker 3 Say up to me

Speaker 3 It's the better to be safe than sorry

Speaker 3 Say up to me

Speaker 3 It's the better to be safe than sorry

Speaker 3 Take

Speaker 3 on

Speaker 3 me

Speaker 3 Take

Speaker 3 me

Speaker 3 I'll be

Speaker 3 gone

Speaker 3 in a day of two.

Speaker 3 They

Speaker 3 come

Speaker 3 here

Speaker 3 to me

Speaker 3 I

Speaker 3 beg you

Speaker 3 They

Speaker 3 come

Speaker 3 in here

Speaker 3 Save

Speaker 3 me

Speaker 3 I'll be

Speaker 3 gone

Speaker 3 and