Kendrick Perkins, Celtics Lose Game 2, The Knicks Keep Winning, Rapid Fire Topics + Fyre Fest Of The Week

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have recurring guest Kendrick Perkins. Great interview with Perk.
He is on my, I think he might be on my Mount Rushmore of the way he says words. Oh, I love it.
Great accent.

Good South Tech.

We should have asked him about Galveston.

Yeah.

Get a feud going between him and Chuck.

Just throwing dogs around there.

Great interview with him.

We're going to talk about the NBA playoffs, the NHL playoffs. We have game two between the Celtics and the Cavs, also the Knicks and the Pacers, and

the Mavs and Thunder.

I also have a couple rapid fire discussion topics I would like to get to, maybe some cleanup. So it's a great show, a Friday show sending you into the weekend.
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Hank. Dank.
Dank. Dan K.
What's up? What's up? What's up, Henry? Just had a quick question for you, Hank. What's up? The Boston Celtics lost tonight.
They're now down one point in the series. No, they're up one.
Excuse me, the Cavaliers are down one point. The Celtics are up one point in the series.
The Cavaliers only won by 24, so that's good. People asking questions about the Celtics, it's just one game.
It's a long it's a long series it's just getting to it let him get to it it's called prefacing your question with giving you all the facts so i'm not giving you anything out of context got it okay so some people will say it's just one game there are other people that will say hank the boston celtics when you look at their record against the best teams in the NBA this year, could be known as maybe a cupcake merchant. Maybe they beat up a lot of bad teams in the East.
Maybe they have a sub-500 record against the top six teams besides the Boston Celtics. I don't believe those people, but they are saying things like that.
They're saying things like Jason Tatum, not a great shooter, and he seems to love love the ball in his hands seems to love taking shots uh what would you say to those two camps of people out there good question so what's the question what would you say those two camps of people say what would you say you weren't even listening we had the best record in the nba we're the number one seed in the entire playoffs we've lost two playoff games and we're in a good spot okay i think they're wrong i think jason tatum is is just gets picked on he's had nothing but success in his nba career he hasn't won a championship but he's still that's a wild one one second you just put out there what that he's a winner that he's had a lot of success i mean you rooted for fucking alex ovechkin for his his entire career. Would you say the same thing? No, I did not say that he was a winner

before he won the Stanley Cup.

I said he's had an extremely successful career

and people just try and shoot him down.

No, I think you said he's won.

He's had a successful beginning of his career.

Nothing but success was the blow.

Nothing but success.

That's just not true.

I would have never said that about Alex

before he won the Stanley Cup.

Interesting. I don't know if that's true.
He wasn't as successful as Tatum was, but they lost one game. It's the playoffs.
It's one game. It's the playoffs.
I'm not going to let it get me down. You guys are going to fucking kill the Cavs in game three.
Bruins and Celtics 0-8 in game twos in their last eight game twos. Is that a fact? It's not a Game 2 town.
Not a Game 2 town. 0-8 in Game 2s, 14-14 at home in the last three seasons for the Celtics.
Yeah, not a Game 2 town. I actually saw a worse home stat, I thought.
It was like 9-11. Yeah, I mean, I'm sick of these wake-up call games.
Like, you know, Miami lose Game 2. It's a wake-up call.
They'll bounce back. They'll figure things out and come back stronger.
At some point, you've got to just be like it's the playoffs. Wake-up time's over.
Let's just come out of the gate every game hot and just step on their throats. Just do it.
Celtics have the Dr. Jekyll and Mr.
Hyde thing going where one game they look like the best team in the NBA, which they are best record in the nba they earned that by winning the most games in the nba pft you can only play who gets put in front of you i agree with that point good point amen but then they come out in other games and look like they have no chance to get beat by 25 to a calves team that's not that good well the calves did play well tonight caris lavert was awesome we we told you donovan mitchell would have a game where he you know he shot well from three and Evan Mobley was awesome as well so like the Cavs have guys and they played really well yeah they have guys Celtics should yeah yeah I mean lose them they live and die by the three that's that's you know what what it is with this team uh when they shoot bad it looks terrible and when they shoot good they look like the best team of all time. So no panic, no nothing just it is what it is.
this team. When they shoot bad, it looks terrible.
And when they shoot good, they look like the best team of all time.

So no panic, no nothing.

Just it is what it is.

You lose a game, you know, wake-up call.

Yeah, it's the same.

It feels similar to the Heat series.

I'm not going to be humble about it,

but it's like they've got to come out and dominate the next three games.

They've got to win the next game.

But I like, again, you know, we had them on. AWS love them.
i love them like missoula is the guy that's that's gonna you know get in their ass tell them to figure it out i don't know you know why didn't get in their ass after game one i don't know what goes on there but who's ass does he need to get in he's got to get in everyone's ass yeah the whole team whole team everyone top to bottom yeah run a train stack them on top of each other and also remember h we are. So he's climbing the ladder.
Yeah. Okay, got it.
I think we're, what, one game away from hitting Kristaps' minimum. Oh, are we? Of several.
Yes, several. No, two.
Several is three. Several is three.
Well, no, a few is three. A couple is two, a few is three.
Several, I think, has to be like four or five. I think several is three and up.
I know a few is three, but I think three is also several. So he's close to hitting his minimum.
I think you keep him out until hopefully we don't get to a game six situation, but save him for that. Don't rush him back.
I have a question for you. Yeah.
And let's just be – let's just listen. What? No, I have a question seven hours later.
Oh, okay. All right, fine.
You want me to just rip the band off and ask the question? I don't know the answer to this question. I think you know the answer to the question right now, and I think when your head hits the pillow, you might be like, am I right? So that sounds like what you think the answer to the question is no because i actually don't know the answer to the question but you are but you prefacing that way means hank does so much fucking interrupting when we're trying to ask him a question it's ridiculous i said you want you do you remember the band-aid i'll ask question yes you know what i don't know the answer just be honest next time we say is it okay if i ask you a question just say no yeah i can't say you don't talk it's not okay it's definitely not okay with you question time I do want me to give you my answer before I give you the question my answer be yeah that's that would be my answer yeah you know the question what would your answer be my answer would be I think so yeah uh the is, is Jason Tatum the best player on a championship team? Yes.
100% no hesitation. Yeah.
Okay. Are you sure? Yes.
Okay. All right.
Then we're good. Then you don't even need to tell him the stat because he already said he's good.
You love your stats.

I have a stat.

Yeah.

I won't tell you the stats.

You cherry pick stats.

This isn't a cherry pick stat.

This is the opposite of a cherry pick stat.

There's a stat called BPM for basketball.

It's kind of like war.

It's what you contribute to your team points like overall when you're on the court.

If you look, the peak, like Jokic this year was like 13, plus 13. How's he doing? He won an MVP.
Good point, good point. We'll go to playoffs after because good point.
And it tracks pretty consistently like when a peak Jordan year is like 11-12, peak LeBron year 11-12. The best player in the league, the best player on a championship team is usually up there in the top 10.
So much so that I look back and the last time a team won a championship with a guy who wasn't on, with zero players in the top 10 of the BPM was the Detroit Pistons. Now, you could make the argument that these Celtics are like that Pistons team where the team is so good collectively that it doesn't matter.
But does that make you a little concerned? Because if you go down the list, it's pretty much every single year. He's 16th.
What's Brown? Brown is, here on, I'll find it for you. But it's every single year you go down, like Jokic last year was one Curry actually the Warriors year was almost an aberration Curry was ninth Giannis was two LeBron five Kawhi six when the Warriors won in 2018 that team it was incredible they had Steph and KD three and four like down the list it goes I think you said Jalen was pretty far down there every team that has won a title has a guy who is a top 10 BPM guy on their roster.
All right, I'm going to find it for you. But again, and here's where I'm being fair, Hank, the Wolves also don't have a top 10 guy from the regular season.
So maybe this is the year that we have two teams that don't have, quote-unquote, like one of the top five players players in the league although Anthony Edwards and Jason Tatum did finish did he finish five in MVP what about the is Luca I'm assuming is on there yes um let me get it for you oh yeah Shay so this year the top the top 10 were Jokic uh Luca Giannis Shay Tyrese Halliburton, LeBron, Sabonis, Brunson, Mitchell, Kawhi. Those are the top ten for this year.
And hold on, I'm going to get it for you. What? I mean, by that, you're saying it'll be a Knicks.
No, because it won a title. That's not how stats work also.
Like also Any of those teams from the East could make the finals You're talking about the winning team Historically It doesn't take a stat to tell you this It takes just watching basketball for the last It feels like 30 years The winner of the NBA championship Usually has a superstar on their team Correct The Pistons would be the team didn't. Yeah, and the Celtics team, to your point, is built, you know, it's a team.
It is a team. That's what I'm saying.
It could be the Wolves versus Celtics, and you could be saying, well, this stat makes no sense, because both these teams have proved the sum of the parts is bigger. Now, Anthony Edwards also is number two in BPM in these playoffs.
He's ascending to a point. You know who's number three? Here's a helpline.
You know who's number three? Who? Derek White. So it might be Derek White's team.
Derek White, MVP, plus 4,000. That's true.
That is true. So then what's the argument? But no, I'm going to take Hank's side.
I'm going to take your side. Jason Tatum, the best player on a championship team.
Got it. I'm going to take your side a little bit in this.
If the Celtics get hot, if Tatum plays, he's very capable of being the best player on the court in most games. He could do it, right? We've seen him do that.
Like you said, he finished, what, fifth in MVP voting? So if he kicks it into high gear, or you said something about MVP voting with Tatum? Nope. I thought you said something like that two minutes ago.
I think I said it. Jason Tatum, I think, finished fifth or sixth.
Okay, fifth. Yeah.
So there you go. So he's up there in the conversation.
If he plays at an extremely high level for the next three, four weeks, five weeks, he's going to be, and they win the championship, nobody's going to be like, oh, I can't believe this no-name Celtics team won. No no they're a really good team they'll say jason tatum is a superstar and he carried them to these the this title and people remember jason tatum because he's already close enough to that level where you'd be like okay the playoffs can turn him into a legitimate carrier of a team yeah uh so chris stops was 14 uh jason tat was 15.
And then Jalen Brown was 80. Derek White was 22.
So, you need Kristaps back. You need Kristaps back.
Again, I think you guys are going to still kill the Cavs. I think you're going to still win the East.
It was more of a bigger question. And, again, my answer is yeah but at least I don't know.
He just doesn't he took two shots in the fourth. He like feeds in and out.
Well, I mean, but you guys what was the 10 point game going into the fourth? More than that. I think you guys got blown out in the fourth.
And he just has he's averaging five points less in the playoffs than he did in the season. That can't – this is when Jalen Brunson is scoring 40 a night.
They have six players. He's got to step up.
Yeah, no, I think that actually might be an answer. The slander that goes on with Jason Tatum.
Where has there been slander? I've asked questions. No, just online and in the media.
I think he's an incredible player. We're online and in the media.
We're both of those. Yeah.
What do you say about Joel Embi bead when these conversations happen here comes max well joel and that was like doesn't make it this i was like matt oh yeah we all love we all love coming in second right max max was underneath the wrestling ring there and he just popped out with a steel chair actually max philadelphia according to hank philadelphia sports, they've had nothing but success for the last two years.

Correct.

Nothing but success.

Hank, tonight when the fourth quarter. I bet you Jason Tatum's played like 700 more playoff games than Embiid at this point.

And he's probably like two years younger.

He's very good.

But this is the time that we have to do this, Hank.

You suffer a.

Yeah, no, it's fine.

They were down 12 going into the fourth quarter. That's still a game.
That's still a game. That's a game that you can still win.
For sure. Yeah, it was a bad game.
I think you guys just have these bad games, and you're going to be fine. But that was a question that I just asked because I feel like half the time I watch him,'m like well he I expect him to be the best player on the court and there's been I don't know when he's been the best player on the court in these playoffs Jalen Brown's been phenomenal for some games Derek White's been insane Donovan Mitchell was great tonight Donovan Mitchell's had games you know last series that he was out of this world like I mean but it's happened in the past four or five years.
It's happened many times. You know what this sounds like? This sounds like on Inside the NBA.
It sounds like on Turner when Shaq directly calls out a player and gives a personal challenge. Sounds like Big Cat is giving a personal challenge.
Step up. I'm fine, yeah.
You're not wrong that this playoffs he hasn't been super, super, superstar level he's got to step up and again you're not in trouble you're not in trouble it's more that if he plays like this in the finals i think you might be in a lot of trouble agreed that's when you need him to step up and be like no i'm also you know one of these guys yeah and if there's one knock against him it would be that he didn't really step up against Warriors, but that experience... He was 19.
Basically. Okay, so prediction for Saturday night? Win.
By 33. 33.
Alright. Back on track.
That's good. Back on track.
No, they still won't be on track. No, if they won by 33.
They're bad. They have to win by 33.
That was mean. It's true.
You couldn't do 25. Oh, wait.
We're not even taking into account any of the losses that they have. That doesn't factor into the entire score.
Oh, no. Oh, BFT.
What? If they win each. Hank's saying.
So, if they win the next three games by 33 each, they'll win by 100. So, okay.
What did I say in the beginning? Point differential will be 100 plus. Yes.
So now it's one. Yes, but I don't like what you're doing to my close right now.
I don't like what you're doing. I know exactly what you're saying.
I didn't realize that the points scored against you and losses didn't count. Do you not? Point differential, do you know what that means? In metrics.
Got it. You don't understand the fact that right now you guys are up by one point.
Correct. That's why I said 33.
So, yes, I'm aware of this. But if the series goes seven games, then the Cavaliers could win, and they could have a 10-point win.
They could have an 8-point win and a 20-point win, and then you don't get to 100. I'm not bad at math.
Got it. How does that not make sense to you that makes sense i'm i think it's gonna be three wins 30 yeah he's saying three wins by 33 just to make it make it nice and even yeah i'm saying you gotta do better than that no three wins by 33 would make it nice and even no i guess a little you know you want a little not what a Baker is.
Well, yeah, you know, you get an extra one.

That's not what a Baker is.

All right.

So would you say we should bet on the Celtics on Saturday night?

I'm not, you know, spreads.

I'm not worried about spreads.

We're going to beat them by 33.

Oh, yeah.

That's one thing that I know.

We should ask our correspondent.

When the Sixers go out of the playoffs, Max does become Boston Max. Max, what do you think about the Celtics right now? I mean, it's game two.
Who gives a fuck about the Cavs? Everyone's crying about nothing. We're the Boston Celtics.
We're going to beat the fuck out of them the next game. Beat the fuck out of them again.
Beat the fuck out of them again. And then the Pacers and Knicks are both going to be dead by the time they come to us.

That's a clean sweep.

Clean sweep.

And then who cares about the West?

Max, what do you think about your Bruins?

The thing about hockey is I know a lot about hockey,

and I know that my Bruins are going to win in five.

Five?

Five.

Not a game two city.

Not a game two city.

I like that.

This is Maxachusetts. Yeah, not a game two city needs to be on a quote card.
Five. Five.
Not a game two city. Not a game two city.
I like that. This is Massachusetts.

Yeah.

Not a game two city needs to be on a quote card. Okay.
Other games we've got to talk about. The Pacers and the Knicks.
How many things did Rick Carlisle submit to the NBA? I think 78. I think after the game was over, Rick Carlisle, I believe it was in the first two games.
Yeah. But there were 78 fouls that were either incorrectly called,

not called at all, or just blown by the refs in some circumstance.

I don't know if he included the phantom double dribble because that was –

Okay.

He definitely included it.

All right.

I'm going to stand up a little bit for Rick Carlisle.

If my team is playing a game and there's a flag

and the whistle's blown or there's a flag on the field, to me, that's been called already. And if you pick it up or you take the whistle back, then you fucked me over by going back on your incorrect call.
Now, it was not a good call. He very clearly didn't touch the ball with two hands.
So it never should have been called in the first place. It ended up being, I think, a fair outcome to the the play but as a fan or a coach or a player on one of those teams once you do that it's going to really piss me off if you take it back yeah two two things can be true uh the pacers have had a bad whistle and they got they got screwed i mean game one that we talked about on wednesday that game one kickball call sucked they've gotten a bad whistle.
Rick Carlisle's being a gigantic baby. Like, that's – dude, play TJ McConnell more.
Like, keep him in the game. He was the guy who was making things happen.
He played phenomenal, and then he took him out for the last seven minutes. You blew a double-digit lead.
You gave up 130 points to a Knicks team that has no one left.

Start maybe pointing the finger at yourself and not, oh, they don't like small market teams.

Small market teams should have been the excuse after at least the third loss.

You got to wait on that because especially his whole case is it's Indiana against New York City.

Right.

The NBA wants the Knicks to advance. I don't know if he's seen the Knicks in the playoffs ever.
Yeah. But the NBA doesn't do a very good job of advancing the Knicks.
If that's been their agenda, they've been really, really bad at executing that agenda. Correct.
I'm fine with a coach trying to basically make a statement to get the refs to maybe give them a better whistle. But the small market thing, like, dude, come on.
And also, you have made some mistakes in this series that have cost your team. You should have won at least one of these games.
You didn't. You're still in this series because the other side of it, the Knicks, are essentially the knight from Monty Python like they have no one they so uh Mitchell Robinson's out for the rest of the playoffs uh OG is out for at least game three but it feels like more Jalen Brunson missed the entire second quarter which credit to uh the TNT crew for uh really giving us great timely updates when the best player in the series just wasn't there for a quarter they had to talk about Reggie Miller and how Reggie Miller used to play against the Knicks, too.
That was wild. It was very crazy because I was watching the game, and I was like, what's Jalen doing? Where is he? Is he taking a break? And then I was like, wait, no, Tibbs is their coach.
There's no chance that Jalen's taking a break. And just nothing happened until right before halftime.
And then they went back. We saw the replay was no help either no i don't know you like tweaked his foot or something i thought it was groin then it was foot yeah but he came back and i mean he was he's a tough motherfucker yeah i mean he was he did what he's been doing all these playoffs he's he's was like owned the game late and he's so much fun to watch and uh he's just incredible and he is i i've had some knicks fans ask me yes he is anthony edwards and jalen brunson are now officially emerging superstars like they i still think you have to do it for a couple years uh or maybe one more year because they all both did it last year too but they're absolutely emerging superstars and all over the place but i i don't know what the knicks do now they don't have they're just losing guys left and right.
They've got what, like seven guys now that can go out? Josh Hart. I think Tibbs just have to have Josh Hart play two positions at once.
That guy just never comes out. He can do it.
He's a fucking dog, and that was a great moment at the end when he went up to the mic and was like, hey, I think they're saying fuck you to Reggie Miller. Yeah, that was really good.
That was great. Reggie – I mean, why did they fly him in for that game? I think it's Spike Lee asked for it.
That sucked. Yeah.
There's no need for him to be there. Just brainstorming out loud.
But, yeah, that was crazy. They just didn't give us an update on the most important player in the series.
Yeah, I don't know. For an entire quarter.
So he's questionable right now. He's questionable.
They don't know if he's going to play. My guess is that he's going to try to play.
Yeah. And that Tibbs will be like, please try to play.
But that seems like one of those injuries that's going to get worse the day after you heard it than it is at the time. And we're getting also to a point where I think, and I've seen Max, he's starting to kind of be like, the Sixers-Knicks series is over.
Now it's my Villanova guys. Like the only guys they have left are Jalen Brunson, DiVincenzo, and Josh Hart.
They're just going to try to win this title, which is Nova. Yeah, well, that's what they've been saying.
It's like they're still like best friends. Yeah.
And it all goes back to Villanova. Max, this would be a championship.
It would. For Philadelphia.
I think Kyle Neptune would be, you'd have to give him a contract extension. Disagree.
Okay. But I do think that what's going on in New York right now only further cements that Jay Wright's the best college basketball coach of all time.
Okay. Yeah, that's appropriate.
Okay. He's going to be like, you know how Coach Cal had all those jerseys of his first round picks in the basement? This Knicks team, if they do happen to win a championship at some point, Coach Wright is definitely going to have championship banners of this Knicks team hanging up if he ever gets back into coaching.
Were we a curse to the city of New York? We lived there for seven years, and now they're on the precipice of having both teams in the in the eastern conference finals yeah and you said it from day one you just wanted them to be good so that you'd have something to like vibe off of yeah and we might i mean i mean if it was maybe be getting boston boston uh new york new york new york new yeah which is crazy i mean you might just have to go live there for a couple days. But, yeah, I think the Pacers will probably win on Friday night just based off – is it Friday night or Saturday? I think it's Friday night.
I think it's Friday. I believe.
I hate when they do these weird schedules. It's double-headed tomorrow.
Yeah, but where the Nuggets play Monday and Friday, and then everyone else is still going every two days. Yeah, that was weird.
I think the Pacers will get a good whistle. I think with the Knicks injuries, the Pacers will win game three, but the Knicks are like, it's crazy what they're doing because they just keep losing guys and they just keep fighting harder than everyone.
Keep offensive rebounding. Jalen Brunson keeps being better and better.
It's nuts. I could see them continuing to just do this.
Yeah. And have everybody be like, how the fuck is this happening?

It's fun to watch.

And the Mecca is crazy.

It's buzzing.

It is buzzing.

And then the last NBA game we had was the Mavs evening the series, 1-1.

Luka on one foot on no feet.

No feet, no arms.

Again.

No arms, no teeth either.

Yeah.

Had an awesome game.

Pretty close to a triple-double.

29-10-7.

And it was also the Tim Hardaway game and the P.J. Washington game.

Because both those guys were lights out.

Tim Hardaway was really good.

P.J. Washington was 7-11 from 3.

Also, real quick, credit to Hubie Brown.

Yeah.

Like, give a shout-out to Hubie Brown.

Think about Hubie Brown. Positive thoughts towards Hubie.
The dude is 90 years old. And he's beloved.
Nobody is out there being like, Hubie needs to get off the air. He's mixing stuff up.
Hubie is sharp as ever. The game started at, what, 830 tonight? Yeah.
830 Central? Hubie probably wakes up at, like, 6 p.m.m., goes to the game, goes home,

goes to bed like, I don't know, 4 in the morning.

You know how old people are.

He gets the kind little breakfast at like 7 p.m.,

but Hubie's absolutely crushing it.

Yeah.

I mean, he's a revelation when you compare it to flying Reggie Miller in.

Yeah, just fly Hubie Brown around.

Yeah.

I mean, I thought this series was going to be a dogfight back and forth so i'm not surprised the mavs won this game and luca i will see he luca's injured luca also likes to let you know he's injured oh yeah well he really likes to let us know he's injured because even when he's not injured he's injured right because maybe you'll get like a really late call he's he might lead the league in in hit a big shot limp yeah he no he yells he does the big he might be the big ben of the nba he might be he could be he does two things he'll like pretend that he's injured after he makes a shot or he'll he'll get mad at the ref after he makes a wide open shot where nobody came close to touching him and he's still mad about something from like five plays ago at that same ref. Right.
He'll scream at the, he's always angry about something. Yeah.
You could actually get Luca. Cause yeah, you're right.
Like when he yells at a ref, his injury goes away. Yeah.
So when he's yelling at a ref, the ref needs to be like, are you injured or are you yelling at me? Are you mad? It's like, he, it's like patting your head and rubbing your stomach at the same time. Yeah.
Can't be both. Right.
And it's like, it's like when my kids are like, when they don't want to eat their dinner, they're like, my i'm like great we won't have dessert and they're like no my tummy doesn't hurt anymore yep that's what luke is doing when you yell at a ref it's like so your leg doesn't hurt no no it still hurts yeah and there was blood on his one of his sleeves tonight on his leg and he's being extra he's so good and he's being extra what he was doing a really good job of was just staring down at the blood on his leg all the time to make sure everybody knew that there was blood on his leg yeah how what shirt did they wear in the first game was it white uh i think it was a combo i think some oh yeah that's right it was different like the blue tonight yeah it was all blue it kind of looked like it was just seats well and also that's the mavs colors too yeah i guess they're they have white as well yeah but it to the untrained eye from a distance across a big room it looked like it was just empty seats there. But I'm sure it was loud.
This series is going to be very fun. Should we talk a little hockey? The Rangers are an absolute wagon.
They're up 3-0 against the Hurricanes. In the hockey world, the Hurricanes, I think, are the big-time fraud alert team because every year the advanced analytics love them, and they just do this.
uh so it looks i mean the rangers haven't lost in these playoffs so you actually did you guys go to overtime in any of your games no uh did we no i don't think so i was gonna say maybe you will lose less we yeah on aggregate but they went to overtime yeah yeah no i'm trying to spin the cap The Capitals stink. Don't patronize the Capitals.
I'm not trying to patronize it. Bad team.
The Rangers, 7-0. Last time they were 7-0, won the Stanley Cup.
94. Feels like 94.
Feels like 94. Mark Messier.
OJ in the news for death again. Yeah.
Yeah. And Pavel Bure and the Canucks.
And those Canucks uniforms rocked. Yeah.
They were like bad,

but awesome.

Yeah.

That was a,

that was a very fun game.

Yeah.

Um,

so Vancouver crowd,

they love their hockey.

Yeah.

Oh,

that,

that,

yeah.

That Vancouver,

uh,

Oilers game.

I,

I have to admit I did fall asleep and I was shocked at the score because it felt like the Oilers had that game.

And even like,

even in the first period,

it was,

it was very workmanlike Oilers get a power play.

They screwed up. the score because it felt like the Oilers had that game.
And even in the first period, it was very workmanlike. Oilers get a power play.
They score. Okay, we're off and running.
Everything's good. And the Canucks just period of the week.
Period of the week was the third period of that. To come back and win that game.
That's my nominee. Absolutely.
That was awesome. So, I mean, the Canucks, Biz told us, like, the Canucks kind of have no business.
Like, they were not no business, but they didn't have the expectations of being this team this year. And they just keep getting, they keep finding a way.
Yeah. Hank, credit to your Bruins, though, for scrapping it up a little bit.
That was an awesome fight. Well, yeah, he got punched right in his head.
Well, he got cheap shot. I was going to say that Pasta taking that fight was awesome.
Awesome. Because he's not a fighter.
Nope.

And Kachuk is like a badass.

Pasta asked, like you asked the coach for permission.

Yeah.

Well, no, I don't think he asked for permission.

I think he told him he was doing it and you could see the coach be like, oh, okay.

You want to do this?

Go ahead.

That's what you should absolutely do in a game where you get your teeth kicked in the playoffs.

You should always get into a fight at the end of it. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
The Swingman magic wore off a little bit, but he was, you know, unconscious before that. So it was, you know, water always finds its level, but it'll be a big bounce back.
I'm interested to see the bounce back tonight. So pasta, you got it.
You got to load up on some pasta props. Yeah.
Did Chuck's not getting a suspension or anything, right? That was a cheap shot cheap shot at the end yeah like the i think the first he hit him on the way down well i think the one and then hit him again i think the hit on the way down was like borderline okay because they're still fighting but the one when he was all the way down it's like come on yeah you can't do that yeah don't do that um and then the the stars win they beat the uh avalanche We got some good series good series going except for the rangers hurricanes that's over i did not watch any of the stars avalanche tonight but um in theory i know that's an electric series so next time we have biz or wit on i'll just be like what a great series that was yeah tell us how two great teams you tell us how great that series is um okay i had some rapid fire things if you guys are down for yeah i got one thing too you go okay the nfl is king yes is this a rapid fire thing no okay the nfl is king they're doing christmas games again this year that's not the news the news is that it looks like they're going to be maybe two games all the christmas day games on netflix which is interesting because netflix has never broadcast an nfl game before correct i don't know who the answer is going to be is netflix going to have their own announcing crew you said maybe brady are they going to rent tom brady for a day and then he'll go on sunday and work at fox continue the roast what yeah continue the roast you know what that here's here's the thing that should really piss the nba off about this and the nfl can do whatever fuck they want, and they're going to dominate the NBA in ratings. Not only are they taking away Christmas Day from the NBA, they're also taking away the ability of people to comfortably change the channel to the NBA games during commercial breaks, quarter breaks, and halftime because signing out of Netflix, turning on to cable if you're watching on cable or to a different streaming app, such a pain in the dick to do that.
And so they're taking away even the pity ratings that you would get for a quick two-minute check-in on the NBA Christmas games. And remember, Christmas is on a Wednesday this year, and the NFL had previously said they weren't going to touch middle of the week Christmas Day.

Remember, last year they were like, because there is a rule,

they don't do Friday night games because of high school football.

But last year they're like, fuck it, we'll do a Friday afternoon game,

Black Friday.

Now it doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter when the game's going to be.

They're going to play it.

And we'll show up. Yeah.
We're going to watch it. Do you think there's a chance any of our teams are in it? On Christmas? Yeah.
How many games are there? I mean, our teams. Max probably has the best chance.
They do love scheduling the Bears in primetime for a national audience. They love doing that.
I think we might get a primetime game against –

I think we actually all might get primetime games against each other

because of the draft.

Oh, because of the rookies?

Yeah.

Are we playing each other again?

Yeah.

The Bears and the Patriots are that weird added game.

You know how –

We played each other.

I know.

With the 17-game season, you play a whole division and there's one added from the other conference, and for some reason we drew you. And then we play again.
We're going to play again. I hope it's Thursday night, as is tradition.
Tattoo bet. Tattoo bet, run it back.
Yep. They're probably going to do – it's later on in the season, so it might even be a divisional game.
What? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because it's Christmas Day.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, because they had the Raiders and the Chiefs last year.
Yeah, how many games were there? Two or three. Two or three.
I'm not sure. Give us a whole.
I heard the perm bet thing brought up. I just want to say for the record, and I've said this a few times, I wanted to do the perm bet during the live stream.
I agree. Put memes in charge of that.
Last year? Yeah, put memes in charge of that one. And memes was like, okay, I'll do it.
And then he told me like two days after I told him to do that, he's like, yeah, I don't know if we're going to be able to get the person to come out. So I didn't have enough time to schedule the person.
I will do a perm. If somebody max.
Good accountability. If Max or meme schedules the perm, I will absolutely do it.
Love that. Now we have to make it it a moment though.
It would be boring if we just did it in the middle of summer. It has to be during football season.
I agree. Like Super Bowl.
Yeah, we should wait. I'm down to do it whenever.
We have to do dingers only soon. Oh yeah, baseball.
We'll do it for July 4th week. july 4th yeah uh okay ready for my rapid fire yep uh first up shout out colin coward we don't really like him but credit to him for going backwards hat coach take with jj reddick saying jj reddick could not be a coach because he's wearing a backwards hat yeah good keep fucking that chicken i mean i just i once we got to the coaches.
By the way, J.J. Reddick's going to be the next coach of the Lakers, right? LeBron is really defending.
LeBron defended J.J. Reddick against Colin Coward.
It feels like he could be. It feels like J.J.
is the hot name out there. And this is based off no information, but I'm more basing off just seeing LeBron defending because lebron doesn't interact with colin coward yeah and you know what when we asked jj when he was on the show how he would feel about coaching the lakers he said they have a coach he didn't say he didn't really answer the question they have a coach um that leads me my next rapid fire it sucks to have to coach now sucks in a relative term because these guys make millions of dollars uh and they get paid to not work but frank vogel got fired from the sons today darvin ham got fired last week that's got to be the worst job in sports as a head coach right now is signing up to coach a super team because no matter what happens it's never the player's fault it's always the coach's fault yeah I think the trick is to coach a super team, but it's when they're in their late 20s, early 30s.
Yeah. If you get older superstars that are joining up to form a super team.
Also, Bradley Beal. I don't know.
Can you call the sons a super team? Well, they tried to. They tried.
It's kind of like the Eagles when they were a super team. Yeah, it was an attempted super team.
Dream team. Oh, yeah, dream team.
It was an attempted big three. I just, like, Darvin Hammond was not a great coach.
Frank Vogel has a championship. Maybe he wasn't a great coach for the Suns.
It doesn't matter. He had a decent regular season.
Right, but it doesn't matter because if you flame out in the playoffs with one of these teams with a big three or a super team, you are the fall guy every single time. It's never the players.
Do you think maybe Pat Riley is a secret genius, and that's why when the Heat – everyone was saying like Pat Riley is going to come down and take over the job from Spolstra. Yeah.
Was he a genius by just being like, I'm going to let this guy coach the team. Yeah.
So that way he'll be fired. I won't have to fire myself.
And Spoh is just, he's one of the best coaches. But yeah, I don't know.
Like, if the Lakers offered Spoh $15 million a year, he'd probably have to take it because it'd be $15 million a year. But I think he would think twice being like, if we don't win a championship, I'm the only guy who's going to get blamed.
How much do you think he gets paid?

I don't know what NBA coach

is. He probably gets like seven or eight.

I don't know. I'm doing California tax math

right now compared to Florida. Oh, good point.

Yeah. Good point.
You probably have to be closer to

17, 18. You have to deal with Gavin Newsom

on a regular basis. You have to go to

French Laundry with him.

Let me see. Eric Spolstra salary.

Eric Spolstra

salary. Oh, he already makes 15

million a year. Oh, yeah.
oh so he's gonna need like i was way off he's gonna need like 23 15 million a year he deserves it yep uh all right so what if it was the yeah so if they offered him 30 pop is number one it's 16 okay yeah i'm your point is valid which is like if you have old superstars that are uniting with each other and and they still have the championship expectations and they've never played together and they've had long careers before trying to make this team work you're kind of signing up on your own death warrant right there yeah like exactly if you don't at least get to a championship there's a chance you could be fired yeah right. The next rapid fire thing, we should have talked about it with the Celtics, but that was some peak sports talk radio with Tony Maz.
Felger Maz. Kings.
You saw this clip, PFT? I did not see this one. It was one of the greatest sports radio moments.
And when I say greatest, the worst.

He said that if the Celtics win the championship this year,

doesn't it feel a little hollow because there's not really any good teams?

That's a good point.

I hadn't thought about that.

All-time take.

That was a we-don't-have-anything-to-talk-about take.

No, they're all-time contrarians.

Hey, quick question for you.

If the Celtics, if they win the championship this year, doesn't it feel a little bit hollow? No. Yeah, because the East is so bad? No.
Okay. Yeah.
I'd say it's a quick no. So did they actually have a discussion about that? Yeah.
I saw like a 30-second clip, but yeah, he was like, Felger was like, no, it's the NBA, dude. And he's like, well, why don't they just play a YMCA team and call it a championship? They're the number one show in town.
It's crazy. It's making a lot of sense.
They've riled up the city of Boston for the last 15 years. But what you're not considering is like- Bruins, Celtics, Patriots, Red Sox.
What if they only played against girls teams in high school and for some reason that's the NBA schedule and they win? Hollow. Think about it.
What's the difference between that and this? I just love when sports talk radio guys are just like, you know what, let's just fucking, we have nothing really to talk about. Let's just say that this championship doesn't, that it doesn't exist yet doesn't count if it does exist.
This is what's so funny about Boston. They've won so many things that they're already like figuring out reasons to not get super excited about the next championship it was crazy uh all right my next one was did you guys see the new ipad pro no people are very mad because the ipad pro commercial uh it's uh it's basically it looks like fuck i'm i'm losing my words, the smash thing that they use where they smash things, the compactor.
Yeah. The pneumatic press.
Yeah, there it is, pneumatic press. So iPad Pro is a pneumatic press, and it's pressing down on all these instruments, like a piano, a trumpet, because it fits all that in the iPad Pro, and people are very upset.
Yeah, people are going to get mad about that. They mad they're like oh so we're just throwing away like thousands of years of cultural like meaningful things for fucking technology and then the wait then the the ipad pro does not get crushed by it no is that what you're saying no it all goes into the ipad pro oh all that shit gets combined i thought you were gonna say people are getting upset because people love watching those press videos oh i do too do too.
Because it's like therapeutic to watch things get crushed. And if the iPad doesn't get crushed, people are like, what the fuck? You've got to crush the iPad.
Yeah. No, they're like Tim Cook, way to ruin the world with your new sleek iPad Pro.
I just laughed at it because it's a commercial. Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of bad stuff that goes into that too.
It's a commercial. If you really want to talk about everything that's happened yeah i wish it would it would have been cool if they had just made that maybe the out of order guys will do it where it's just like the ipad pro crushing like gambling apps porn sites be like look you got it all right here everything in there yeah all your streaming services right here all right next rapid fire topic greg doyle suspended saw yeah.
Loved it. Why, what happened? Good call.
Do you like that? Good call. Hey, you like that? I like it, yeah.
Do that a little bit more, and I'll treat you nice. We'll be just fine.
Yeah. The other clip is so funny from that press conference, too, when he talks to the coach.
He's like, so you got the keys to that. Yeah, to that.
What are you going to do about that? A lot of journalists were actually being like, that's an overreaction to suspend him. I just like it because Greg Doyle's a scold and him getting suspended.
This is one of the funniest ways to get suspended. Hey, why did you get suspended from covering one of the most popular athletes in sports right now? Well, I did the heart signal to her and I was really creepy.
No, just like he got suspended for being a creep i don't so here's what's bad about suspending him at some point he's going to come back from suspension correct and then he is going to have to apologize to caitlin clark and he is going to do that in the most creepy way possible yeah it actually sucks for caitlin clark yes like caitlin clark probably doesn't want him suspended just wants him sitting in the back of the newsroom and just not even asking questions anymore because now when he does come back it's a whole other story where she has to accept his apology all that bullshit what she should do is say like he i don't want him in the room yeah and then the indie star will they'll have to say okay because she's the biggest sports she's a story in town right now yeah it's like she is she is the face of women's sports across the world and so if they just tell him no you can't because if he does come back he's going to try to do like he's going to try to get cute with his apology yeah of course he's going to say something that's going to make it worse she's going to feel like she has to accept his apology because she probably just doesn't want to deal with this shit anymore. And then it's going to be a very weird dynamic.
So just don't let him around the fever. He should actually not be suspended.
He should just have to go to every game with a t-shirt that says, I'm not a creep, but I ask creepy questions. They should just make a Doyle rule, which is not allowed to talk to women.
Yeah. Don't talk to women, Greg.
Don't talk to women. Well, how would he have found out that he was wrong uh from he already talked to the women in his life right he talked to just don't talk to women as part of your job yeah ever uh okay last one this one is probably the biggest one we have to come to the defense of one of max's heroes max i assume you've seen this

uh shady mccoy no that's one of your heroes chip kelly no shady mccoy what yeah and we have to come to his defense because we've been there jason kelsey is fighting a war online against horse Twitter because he implied that Secretariat might have done steroids.

And if everyone for a long time awls uh you remember this for new ones welcome uh we almost got canceled by horse twitter in 2016 because we called nyquist a fucking pussy ass bitch for not running in the belmont yes and we said that he was getting fat yeah and that's why he didn't run he looked like eddie lacy yeah and then there i'm just getting word now that there may have been some photoshops done of nyquist making him look super overweight yeah to the point where nyquist got bullied off twitter yes he deactivated his little horse twitter account we did that so we did that we know what you're going through um i still believe in the first amendment yeah when it comes to insinuating and slandering horses yeah so jason speak speak your truth yeah it's i it's just a very funny uh controversy to get in where he just was like yeah they did a lot of steroids in the 70s and his heart was three times bigger that feels like steroids and people are mad people are very mad like i mean he some people still have secretary posters on their wall listen secretary is the greatest athlete who ever lived correct uh it was funny how he apologized on twitter too because he he gave like a an emotional apology being like i'm sorry for making accusations towards this horse yeah been dead for four it's ridiculous yeah it's a ridiculous controversy we stand with you jason kelsey it's fucking ridiculous we're talking about a horse and i love horses i love betting on horses but saying secretary did steroids should not ruin anyone's day you know what i'm going i'm going to go one further than jason kelsey i say they should dig up Secretariat's body and test him.

Drug test him.

Drug test him.

Oh, wait.

It's the only record in sports that has never been broken in terms of speed or power for all these years.

Every other sport across the entire planet has gotten better since the 1970s.

And we're saying horse racing is the one that hasn't? He's making great points. Think about it.
Great points. Since the 1970s.
And we're saying horse racing. Is the one that hasn't.
Making great points. Dig that horse up.
Making great points. Also Max.
Since I saw this trending. And I was like let me see what's going on here.
And I went to Jason Kelsey's page. And I think he recently.
Just followed me. Really? Yes.

That rocks. He follows 48 people.

That rocks.

So.

That's sick.

You're one step away.

I knew that would excite Max.

Max is sounding so creepy right now.

No, no, that's just cool.

I did message him.

I was like, don't apologize.

We have your back.

I'm going to wait to tell him that we have a producer that would literally die for him.

I think that's more of like a month or two down the line. Don't embarrass me.
Well, do you not want me to say that? I don't know. Oh, wait.
He follows me too. There we go.
Max, does he follow you? No. He follows me too.
Do you guys follow? No, he doesn't. He does not follow me.
I'm going to follow him back. Yeah, follow us out.
He followed you first? Yeah, same with me. Same with me.
That's so cool. I was like, wait, I don't follow Jason Kelsey? I'm going to DM him and tell him not to follow Max.
What the hell? No, don't even bring me up. This is like- Hey, our producer, Max, he's a real big horse fan.
He was very upset with what he said about Secretary. For the record, confirm doesn't follow me.
I. All right, yeah, so maybe me and PFT need to just hit him on, like, just double strike, being like, hey, could you quickly follow this guy? No, don't embarrass me.
Max, here's how much I love you. I would trade, if he's trying to keep it at 48, take me off.
Yeah, me too. Put Max in.
Well, no, wait, what if we both get taken off? It's an empty threat he's got to follow mr pair too empty promise yeah we're we're you know two guys who have a direct line to jason kelsey no that's cool that's sick that's sick for you guys it is sick you know what i'm not gonna rock i'm not gonna tell him uh to follow max i'm gonna actually say uh max is so crazy in love with you that he has a can of soup that he refuses to eat because your face is on it yeah that's probably better right our producer max wears your face on his shirt like 90 and kind of on his own face yeah i just want yeah yes he wants to be you that is correct or at least inside you you want to remake? Not inside. No, Max, not like that.
I meant you want to look like you want your skin to look like this guy. Inside and out, I would like to be like Jason Kelsey, if that makes sense.
But would you be inside him if offered? No. Stop this.
No, but Max, if we could take- You're already doing this with the other Kelsey. If we could take your brain right now- No, I didn't say- No.
And put it it in Jason Kelsey's body and then you would just walk around with your brain but now you are Jason Kelsey would you do it for like a day I'll say it you know what I'll say it I don't believe that Max is actually a fan of Jason Kelsey until I see video proof of Jason Kelsey inside of Max yeah yeah that's fair we're gonna get

unfalled so fast

yeah this is

bullshit video proof of jason kelsey inside of max yeah yeah that's that's fair that's fair we're gonna get unfalled so fast yeah this is bullshit guys you're ruining this we've met him before we've hung out with him that's that's that also sucks and we were supposed to hang out in the summer i know beer olympics which we will not will know i don't want to say we will not i don't think we're backing out we can't back out i don't think we're not no i don't think we're probably We're not going to back out of it. Will we? I don't know to say we will not.
I don't think we're backing out. We can't back out.
I don't think we are going to. No, I don't think we're probably not going to back out of it.
Will we? I don't know. Can we? No.
We're definitely maybe not going to back out. It's going to be so hot in Vegas.
Yeah. It's like it's during the week.
And we're kind of closer with Jason Kelsey now than we are with Will and Taylor, and they backed out.

Yeah, but, I mean, we told them that we'd do it when they told us it was different days.

Yeah, we can't back out, right, Hank?

Hank, should we?

We can't.

We can't back out.

No, we won't.

No, we can't.

Nah.

No, we can't. I will be there no matter what.
Yeah. We can't.
We, we won't. No, we can't.
Nah.

I will be there no matter what. Yeah.
We can't. We're going to golf.
Yeah, we're going to golf. We're going to golf.
It's going to be so hot. It's going to be so hot.
We're going to golf at four in the morning. We'll be fine.
I never thought it would be this hard to get us out to Vegas to gamble in a casino where you literally can't lose. Well, I think the part where you and I have to compete against a bunch of NFL offensive linemen.
Well, not chasing Kelsey. True.
He's not really NFL offensive linemen. He's more just good friends of ours.
Yeah, my buddy. Yeah.
My buddy JK. And soon to be inside of Max.
Yeah. He was on stage at a Mount Joy concert.
I was showing PFT. That was cool.
That was all you were just showing. You were showing PFT pictures of Jason.
No, it was a video. He played a video.
You know those people that are in the crowd during rock shows? They have their phones out and they're recording it. And they're like, what are these people recording it for? Are they going to go back and watch it later? No, they're recording it so they can get posted online.
Then Max can show me his phone of somebody doing that. So, Max, you basically did like here.
You want to see a picture of my kids, but it was Jason Kelsey at a concert? It was cool. Look how much funny it was.
Well, I asked BFT if he was a Mount Joy fan. Also love Mount Joy.
Mount Joy rocks. Yeah.
A good band. And Jason Kelsey approved.
And Jason Kelsey approved. Which means us approved, too.
Us approved as well. The thing about us, we have so much in common with Jason.
That's right. That's a fact.
Okay. Good opening to the show.
We have Kendrick Perkins. Awesome interview with Perk.
And then we have Fyre Fest. Four-way, because memes and Jake are both out.
So Max chips into Fyre Fest. And Hank is in one.
He's in a pickle. He's in a pickle on Fyre Fest.
So let's kick it to ourselves with Kendrick Perkins. The Barstool Golf Time app makes it easy for golfers to find the best tee times at the best prices.
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Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest, recurring guest. He is an NBA champion.
You can see him on ESPN all the time. He's got some spicy takes we want to get to talk some NBA playoffs.
It is Kendrick Perkins. Perk, great to have you on.
We're watching the Celtics' fourth quarter right now, so we will have some questions about this game after the game. But I wanted to start with the series that everyone's going to watch.
We're going to air this, obviously, on Friday. Everyone's going to watch tonight as they're listening to this.
The Nuggets and the Wolves.

And you are the guy who said that Anthony Edwards reminds you of Michael Jordan.

I think it was you and Pat Bev.

But when you watch

this Wolves team,

has it clicked like, hey, this team

can win it all. The way they're playing

and they're so young and hungry. What are you

seeing?

Well, one, appreciate you fellas for having

me on. Y'all continue to

do a great job because that's exactly

Thank you. When I look at the Minnesota Timberwolves, the number one thing that pokes out to me is the togetherness.
The number two thing is they have a bunch of dogs, okay? And it's led by Anthony Edwards. And I said this, you know, in March, that when it comes to the young up-and-coming superstars, I've never seen a leader like him, and he's the best young leader in the game of basketball.
And so when you look at their personnel, right, everybody was wondering last year, could Carl Anthony Towns and Rudy Goldberg, can they coexist? The answer is hell yeah, because Cats could stretch the floor. So when I'm looking at their perimeter defense, before I even address the interior, I'm looking at an old school Mike Conley, who this year, he was holding his opponents to 31 He was 31st in the league for his opponent field goal percentage Jay McDaniels he was fourth in the league opponent field goal percentage Anthony Edwards he was 10th in the league opponent field goal percentage Then you have Rudy down there who's ready to swat everything so when I'm looking at this team I'm like they don't give a damn who you are right and when I started to watch the series against the Phoenix Suns and I'm watching Rudy and Carl Anthony Towns go at Kevin Durant on the perimeter and slide those puppies and they switching out on the pig and rolls I'm like hold on hold on jimmy butler couldn't pull this out of car anthony towns when he was in minnesota and donovan mitchell couldn't pull this out of rudy go rudy gobert and so i'm thinking about it i'm like man this team is serious yeah then they get to the defending champs and they kicking their ads.
And the game two real talk, game two was probably one of the greatest performances defensively that I've ever seen in my damn life. It was a clinic.
By the way, it was a clinic. I love the way you say dogs.
I love the way you say dogs. I love the way you say Gober.
It's like he's ice cold. Yeah, it's Rudy go burr.
Yeah, Rudy go burr. Like for French.
You know what I mean? French. So it was a clinic.
So if you're the Nuggets, what do they do? If you're in that locker room, what is said after game two and what's the fix? It's nothing that you can say. Either you got it in you or you don't.
I know Michael Malone, he said something the other day, I think it was yesterday, that he said, hey, we're the defending champs, and I need guys in this locker room who're going to believe and go down to Minnesota and get a game three. Well, it's easier said than done when you're dealing with a team that don't give a damn, right? And Anthony Edwards followed up, and he said, we know they're going to come in and give us their best punch, but guess what? We're going to punch back.
And when you have that type of confidence, it's just on a different level. I don't know if there's anything they can do.
Murray is not 100%. Jamal Murray is not 100%.
He's dealing with injuries. That's a bad time and especially when you face a McDaniels.
Jokic, he's shooting 42% from the field against Minnesota. Carl Anthony Towns, Rudy, and Nas Reed, they ain't going nowhere.
So I don't know what else they can do. Just think how important Jeff Green and Bruce Brown was to this team last year they don't have them yeah yeah and so with the Nuggets you said there's not a lot that they can do the matchups are an issue for him and especially how they're making Jokic play in places he's a little bit uncomfortable uh I saw you you referred to them I don't know if you said that they were babies the Nuggets the b-word or if you said they were playing like babies or acting like babies.
But have the T-Wolves turned the Nuggets into babies? No, no, no. I said, so this is what I said.
I said the T-Wolves got them crying like babies. Okay? And what I said was that the Denver Nuggets are doing all their damn crying.
They got to – what the babies go do. If you're going to do all their damn crime, what the babies go do.
If you're going to shed all the tears, they had Michael Malone whining to the referees. They had Jamal Murray crying to the referees.
They had them uncomfortable. Yeah.
No, it was. It was crazy to watch because I don't really know – I feel like the only fix the Nuggets really have is they got to try to maybe play faster and get some guys in foul trouble, but it does feel like the defense from the Wolves just bothers the Nuggets to a level that we haven't seen.
And they also got to play better. Jokic is a three-time MVP.
He's got to play better. Michael Porter Jr.
makes like $30-plus million a year. He's got to play better.
Like, they all – they've been tested for the first time in the last year and a half. And how they answer this test will tell you a lot.
It'll show their true character. Yeah.
Right? It'll show their true character. I mean, you never know what's their true character until they hear the adversity.
And all of a sudden, Jamal Murray throwing the heat pack on the down floor. Yeah.
Yeah. It's bad.
It's crazy to watch because of how easy it has seemed for them in the last year and a half. Really, two years they've been coming on like this.
Also out west, Oklahoma City. You used a term that I really like about the Oklahoma City Thunder.
We like watching them play. They're fun.

You said that they play agenda-free basketball in Oklahoma City. Can you describe what agenda-free basketball is and why it's beautiful to watch?

Well, I'll tell you, it's not the same type of basketball you watch from the Detroit Pistons

or the Washington Wizards.

It's the complete opposite of that, right?

Agenda-free basketball is when you're watching a team pass up good shots to get great shots, right? And you don't see that in a lot of young teams because everybody want to be the hero. When you're watching a team, guys pass up from actually getting an actual assist to just getting a hockey assist, the pass that's going to lead to the assist.
Okay, defensively, you're watching a team that's talking, loading up boxes and elbows, you know, communicating switches, challenging everything at the basket. That's agenda-free basketball because they don't look at the box score to see what type of numbers that they're putting up they just the only number that they care about is whether or not they win the game or not and so when i watch them it's just a beautiful thing to see because they're clapping up luke darts is doing his thing and they encourage you one another let me tell you when you could tell when especially in basketball when a team is together and they they have no hidden agendas whatsoever just watch the bench if you watch the bench when the guys who are not in the game if they up off the bench and they're clapping and they're rooting for their teammates then you know that team is really really special and guys then lost themselves into the ball club yeah Yeah.
You played on teams, I imagine, that were agenda-free

and also teams that had agendas, that had players,

that had their own agendas.

If you're on the bench and you decide whether or not

you're going to get into the game, you're going to stand up,

you're going to be a part of that action on the sidelines,

what is it about the players on the team

that make the guys on the bench respond or not respond?

Well, I think we respond to to and that's a great question because when you're on the bench you're always going to respond to what the average fan is not seeing right and that's the little things whether you know and that's the things that is rehearsed behind closed doors in the film room. So if a guy is helping out another guy and he sees a rotation and he rotates and he get a good contest or a great contest and he's on his high horse from leaving in the paint and running out to the corner three to make a guy miss, that's going to get the bench hype because we just went over this in the film room, right? It may not mean much to, you know,

uh, to make a guy miss, that's going to get the bench hype because we just went over this in the film room, right? It may not mean much to, you know, a person who's looking for a highlight dunk or a crossover step back, but it's everything to the guys that's sitting on, that's wearing the same jersey as you because we was in that same locker room with you watching film room and knowing what the the coach is preaching yeah now if we see a guy that's trying to get his then obviously you know the vibe is different or we see for example if I'm a big man and I'm supposed to be talking the coverage on the high pick and roll and letting my guard know that the screen is coming and for my guard to force it left or force it right and I don't do my job and my guard get hit with a screen and now the ball handler comes off and he have a clean 15-foot pull-up jump shot without anything happening then I'm not doing my job right that means I'm not engaged that means I'm not focused yeah those are are the little things that matter. So the Thunder crowd is incredible.
We joke they lead the league in wearing the T-shirt, the free T-shirt. I didn't realize, but before the game, they have a T-shirt cam that basically shames everyone who doesn't put on the T-shirt.
I like that. They just go around and put on the T-shirt.
When you were playing there, because you were on the Thunder at a similar kind of point where it's like a young team, a fun team, going deep in the playoffs. What is it like playing in Oklahoma City, and especially for the opponent? Is this a – I could curse off on him.
Yeah, you could say whatever the fuck you want. God damn it.
It was fucking unbelievable. When I take, hey, look, when you the motherfuckers in OKC, that city, that state embraces you like no other.
Right? Because, I mean, you're in competition with nothing else except for, you know, colleges. But as far as on a professional level, shit, it's just you.
Yeah. And it's just y''s just y'all and so man you know just when you're doing things and you're winning man it's just a different type of vibe do y'all remember when you know this the uh that franchise got to Oklahoma yeah yeah it was they used to have that meter because it used to be so loud in there and it's's a real thing.
I mean, literally feeding off the energy of the crowd. And there's no disrespect to Boston because Boston was great.
I mean, they give you chills in the history. But when that city gets behind you and you're playing winning basketball and they start to believe, ooh, there's nothing like.
It does seem different down there, yeah.

Did you have an MVP vote?

Yeah, I did have an MVP vote.

And who did you vote for MVP?

I voted for SGA.

Yeah.

So you think he should have won MVP?

Yeah, I voted for Shea because, listen, hear me out.

Okay, Shea, last year, first of all, Oklahoma didn't even make the playoffs. This year they're the number one seed in the Western Conference.
Okay, say is third in the league in scoring, averaging 30. He's first in the league in steals.
He's shooting fucking 54% from the field as a shooting guard. Do you realize that they have big men that doesn't shoot that percentage around the rim? Okay, and then to top it off, when you look at it, it's like, damn, what else do he have to do? What else do he have to do? He has the best record in a tough Western Conference, a tough Western Conference where the ninth and tenth seed was 10, 11 games above 500.
And so, you know, you think about what he's doing with the second youngest team in the NBA. I mean, how does he not get the nod? So many guys were deserving of it, okay? Whether it was Luka, Jokic, even Jalen Bronson, Anthony Edwards, so many guys could have won the award.
But I just thought what the SGA did and how he carried this team and brought this team along, I was like, he's for sure deserving of the MVP. Yeah, he's had an incredible, incredible season.
So we're watching. I think we can safely say the Celtics game is over.
There's a minute left.

There's a minute left.

They've gotten absolutely smoked by the Cavs.

Our producer, Hank, here sitting on the couch.

He's a diehard Celtics fan.

He loves you.

But what do you say to him and to the Celtics?

Because the Celtics are still the best team in the East.

One game doesn't change it.

But you can also say at the same time, when they look bad, it looks so bad.

I'll see you next time. The Celtics are still the best team in the East.
One game doesn't change it. But you can also say at the same time, when they look bad, it looks so bad.
Hey, first of all, fix your body language, okay? It's going to be okay. Fix your body language over there.
All right, there we go. There we go.
Go ahead and sit up. Look, I'm happy that the Celtics lost.
You know why? Because they need this. They need to be able to face adversity.
They need to be able to weather some storms, right? The only thing that I hate about it is that they worked so hard all season long to establish a place of dominance in their home arena that don't lose games at home, right? That's supposed to be a place where teams is like, you know what, man, we coming up in here and nowhere in hell we could get a win. I just think about that 2008 season.
Us having home court advantage actually was the key reason why we – the number one reason why we won the NBA championship. It was the number one reason because we knew once we got you back to the garden, we was going to spank that ass, and we did that.
But the Celtics need this. The Celtics need this because now you can expect a different version of the Boston Celtics come game three, and it's going to get them prepared for the long haul, and that's winning it all.
Let's go, Hank. Come on, Hank.
Spank that ass. Spank that ass.
Spank that ass, Hank. What is it, though? They have weirdly struggled at home in the last two years or three years, I think it is.
Like, they're about 500 in the playoffs at home. What is that? I don't know.
It almost feels like they don't have a sense of urgency at times, and they get too relaxed. But that comes with the best player on their team and Jason Tatum.

Right?

Like, he got to have that motor of being consistent.

Right?

Of I'm going to apply pressure every single time.

Paul Pierce, you know, a lot of people used to give so much credit to Kevin

Garnett, KG, the big ticket.

And rightfully so.

But Paul Pierce took it so personal when somebody, a matchup, came into his house.

Whether it was LeBron, Kobe, Joe Johnson, whoever it was, he took it personal.

It was like not Nick.

And that's what Tatum got to start doing.

You can't let people walk in your house without taking their shoes off and then kick their feet up on your coffee table and tell you to get them something to drink. Come on, Hank.
Fair point, Hank. You're letting them just walk all over your house.
You're getting the Cavs a bottle of wine. You're opening up a fresh bottle of red for the Cavs.
And Hank, he gets so down on himself. He doesn't stay, you know.
Hey, it's a seven-game series, brother. That's facts.
I did see you say after game one it was like dominant performance from the Celtics

in six.

Yeah, I got Celtics in six.

Yeah. So the Cavs

play basketball. They get paid to play too.

Yeah, you're going to lose games in the

playoffs. It's okay.

Yeah, you'll be okay, Hank. See, Hank had expectations

going into the series that they were going to

win by a cumulative score of 100

points. Still in play.
They were going to win four games by 25 points. How much did you lose by? Was it 25? Did you lose by 25 points tonight? No, I think they lost by 24.
All right, so we're plus one. You're plus one.
Three 30 pieces. You got some makeup.
Yeah, you're fine. Perk, do you think that there's – Yeah, Hank, you're okay.
You think that the Celtics kind of missed Marcus Smart, kind of missed that edge? I mean, that's to be determined, right? Like, they got to complete the mission in order for me to say that. But again, they gave up Marcus Smart to get who? I mean, it's a fair point.
I think that – But what I'm saying, they gave up Marcus Smart to get Kristoff Przingis. Am I right? Yep.
Okay. The one concern that I have for the Boston Celtics is, can Kristoff Przingis be healthy for four seven-game series? And right now, the answer is no.
Yeah. Yeah.
They're going to need him. They can't win it all unless they have him, and he's got to be healthy.
Yeah. So, speaking of health, the Knicks, who have been electric these playoffs, your guy Big Body Brunson, that's what you've given him his nickname.
Love that nickname. But now I feel like they've got no one left.
It's crazy. Mitchell Robinson's out.

OG is out for game three.

Questionable for Jalen Brunson.

At what point is it like they're just losing too many guys?

I know they're up 2-0, but it feels like, especially with their bench,

they're just running out of bodies.

I mean, they are, and it's unfortunate.

As far as making a run, when you're trying to make a real championship run, you need a lot of luck, and that includes being healthy, right? But last night, Tom Thibodeau did an in-game interview, and they asked him about OG and Anobi. And before he turned off with that snows and that fucking attitude, he said, next man up.
That's been their mentality all season long. You got to realize, man, when it comes to Dante, Big Body Bronson, and Josh Hart, those guys were groomed right from Villanueva.
They know how to play the game the right way. They know how to compete at a high level.
So those three have a different type of confidence that when they step on the floor together, they feel like they could compete and beat anyone in the league. And they have shown us that.
And they feel like they could make anybody around them better. Right? We're watching Isaiah Hardenstein.
He's going out there doing his thing, almost had a triple double, you know, last night. You're watching you're watching McBride come in off the bench and spurts and have big moments being aggressive.
And when you have that type of leadership, you're capable of winning any type of game. Yeah.
In terms of Rick Carlisle and his comments after, do you think those were baby comments?

Because I feel like that was a little too much crying. I understand trying to work the refs.
Thank you. Thank you.
Yeah, but that was too much. Don't give up 130 to a Knicks team that has four guys.
Now you preaching. Now you preaching.
Again, look, you're mad at the refs, right, for reversing a call that it wasn't a double dribble. But you're not mad at yourself, right? You're not mad at yourself.
Look, my grandmother, I love her to death. She got Alzheimer's, right? And, you know, it's part of life.
But she wouldn't remember to put T.J. McCompton back in the game.
Damn, Rick Carlisle, you didn't forget not one time. You forgot twice.
You didn't put him back in the fourth quarter for game one, and you didn't put him back in the fourth quarter for game two. He has been probably their best player to guard Jalen Bronson, and Jalen Bronson has been having it his way in the fourth quarter.
You didn't even think about putting him back in? And on top of that, listen, I understand the Knicks, their mindset, the way that they attack the offensive glass, but you're not going to say nothing about the offensive rebounds, especially late in the fourth quarter. Like, it's things that he needs to be worried about

and addressing for us with his team.

Then he'll be crying about the officials.

And then the last thing, the small market BS.

Dallas and Oklahoma City playing against each other, right?

Minnesota playing, huh?

So what is he talking about small market teams want to foul

but Tony to his will? You got teams want to fail opportunity as well.

You got your change.

Yeah.

You up double figures.

It's loser talk.

It's loser.

That's what it is.

Like, I'm a loser.

Big Cat.

Our team stink.

We're very familiar with loser talk.

Anytime you send your video staff to make a compilation of 78 missed calls

and then send them to the NBA, like, it's going to do anything.

Like, that envelope is probably not even going to get opened, but you had your video staff sit down for hours and make a compilation of missed calls. That, to me, seems like you're fighting a losing battle and you're spending a lot too much energy fighting that losing battle.
Yes. Yeah.
We're going to get back to Perk in a second. He's brought to you by Part of My Cheese Steak.
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Do you have any animosity towards Rick Carlisle for the two free throws he made you take like 15 years ago? And how much did that suck? So for people who don't know, it was Paul Pierce got kicked out of a game, but he had two free throws. And then the opposing team gets to pick whoever they want on the other bench, and they picked you, and you missed them both.
When you had to come in cold off the bench, were you like, fuck, this is going to suck? As a youngster. And I'm standing at the free throw line on the road by myself.

And as far as, like, with that situation, I at least wanted to see the first one go in. They would have gave me hope to make the next one.
But I wasn't mad at Rick Carlisle's by that. You know what I mean? I thought it was pretty fucked up.
He picked on me, but it is what it is. But it's no beef.
It's no beef. I would have beef.
I actually showed him a lot of love over the season for being able to make that transition. Because remember, a lot of his players from Dallas didn't have a lot of positive things to say about him.
Right? They didn't have a lot of positive things to say about him. So when he got to Indiana, he started to adjust his coaching style, those guys play so you know it's all love i just wish he stopped that damn crime yeah i i would hold a grudge if i were you i'd be like that was it was embarrassing you made me stand out there all by myself and shoot free throws that's like that's most people's worst nightmare yeah picking you off the bench that's fucked up uh you you brought the finals that you played in.
What about the other finals when you

unfortunately injured your knee?

Do you think you guys win that series if you

don't get hurt? Absolutely.

Look, I started five,

never lost a playoff series

when everyone was healthy. That's a fact.

That's a fact.

You know, and I mean, you know,

at the end of the day, we still should have won

that game. We was up 14

points going into the fourth

quarter and a mean, you know, at the end of the day, we still should have won that game. We was up 14 points going into the fourth quarter and a couple of breakdowns.
Guys were fatigued. And all of a sudden, you know, Ron Artest goes for 20 and 10.
The own song hero, I believe Kobe Bryant walk out the game with like 15, 16 rebounds. Because whoever dominated the glass in that particular game, whoever dominated the glass in those games won the basketball game.
That's who won the series. Yeah.
Yeah. They missed you.
Yeah. All right.
So I want to get some of your spicy takes that you got going right now. You think LeBron James should retire? See, you know what? Let's have an intelligent conversation.
Let's do it. I agree with your take, by the way.
I don't want to have an intelligent. Okay, so I was following up on my big brother, Michael Wilborn, okay? We know that Wilborn believes that Michael Jordan is the GOAT.
Right. And Wilborn went on a rant talking about the firing of Dalvin Hound and how LeBron and AD lack accountability.
So I went on first take with Stephen A. and the topic was brought up about the topic was LeBron James, 10 head coaches in 21 years.
Right. Does that like, you know, basically does it say something about LeBron James having 10 coaches? And I'm like, it does.
And I'm like, I wish he would retire because at this point I'm looking at it. What else is it for Le to accomplish he have nothing else to accomplish because even if he wins another championship he still don't have six so the mj uh people out there in the world still gonna say mj got six okay so you're playing in every single season that you're playing and that you don't win a championship because the expectations when you're in the Laker uniform, especially if you're LeBron playing at an elite level, is going to be what? Championships.
I don't give a damn if he's in a wheelchair. It's going to be championships.
And so every single season that you don't win, then you give more animosity or more arguments to come at you about the GOAT debate. And I wasn't attacking LeBron's legacy or saying like his legacy.
We know he's the all-time leading scorer in NBA history. We know he hit 40,000 points.
But when it comes down to his legacy, his legacy now is measured on the goat conversation i like that

and the firing of the firing of darbenham does not look good on him i like that take though because it's saying that if lebron james continues to play basketball even at a high level he's just proving all the people out there that are haters yeah you're right he's not mj thank you it's it's and they'll go five something it's a weird situation he's in yeah but but listen even even if i i couldn't find and i wanted to so bad i couldn't defend him i couldn't go at my brother willborn or steven a about that particular matter they were right i had to agree with him i couldn't lie yeah what about when you're talking to mad dog When you have a segment with him, do you have to go back to like a basketball almanac, back to like 1963 and get some stats ready for him? Look, I've only been on twice with Mad Dog, and I don't give him an opportunity to go back that far. But I must say, what are you mad about? Those rants are legendary.
Even when I'm not on, I want to listen to that shit. Yeah, he's very talented.
No, he's incredible. I think we agree because you're obviously an NBA guy, but we're four football guys, and we thought the hypothetical about the NBA-NFL thing was stupid, and there's no NFL players that if you said they had to do it in the next month there's no NFL players that could go and play in the NBA in the next month I like I think maybe no one will just agree on this hypothetical that's just why it exists and why we do it every couple years but um do you think there's some NBA guys who could play in the NFL I think it's very small I don't think it's 30 I think Austin Rivers is a little too much with that, but I also think there's some NBA guys who could play in the NFL? I think it's very small.
I don't think it's 30. I think Austin Rivers is a little too much with that.
But I also think there's zero NFL guys who could play in the NBA next month. How did we get here? It's a July argument.
We should have done it in July. Right, right.
But you know what? Look, I have a list. I have five players.
I think I got six. I did a big list today of five players.
I said Marcus Smart, Anthony Edwards, Russell Westbrook, Jalen Suggs, and LeBron James. Those five guys, I believe, could stop playing basketball right now and go find a spot on the football field.
They have the mentality. They still got the athleticism.
They got the size. They can go find the spot.
And I forgot one key person, Luke Dort. Luke Dort can go find a spot as well.
That's it. I couldn't really, like after that, I was like, nah, he too soft.
He can't get it. Yeah.
But I was just like, you know, and Austin actually was supposed to be in the day, but he called in sick talking about his stomach was hurting or whatever the case may be. So they're like, Perk, we need you to do the big list.
I'm like, it's not even my fight. So what do people get for, again, no one's ever going to agree on this.
Everyone's's got their sides but what would you say that people get wrong the most about current NBA and like the level of skill and player that that's in the NBA right now that like if you would understand this you'd understand that it's it's impossible for someone from the NFL to just show up and be an NBA player Well, I think it's more so like the coordination part of it,

being able to do it behind the back, between the legs, step back on a consistent basis at an efficient level, right? Like I think, you know, they take that for granted. And it's the IQ of the game, right? Being able to do it in that moment, right? Being able to have a guy on your hip and, you know, come around and pick and roll, keep him on your hip and split the defender with a crossover in between and left-hand scoop.
Like the coordination is just on a different level. But I don't want – look, I don't want no smoke with any of the football guys, okay?

Big Swaggoo and J.J. White and, you know, Miles Garrett.

Look, man, we all cool, big perk cool, man.

I respect everything that y'all are out there doing on the football field.

I want no smoke.

Yeah, I feel like you could have played, though.

You would have been the answer to that question back in, like, 2008. Yeah, Hey, I'm telling you, tight end and D-end.
I was a problem. I was a problem.
Texas football, baby. Yeah.
Friday night lights. I also think it's – and I understand it.
NFL players get – they're upset because they think, like, their toughness is being questioned. No one ever questions the toughness ofness.
Being in the NFL is an insane thing to be able to do, and that's why I thought maybe a couple guys. There are a lot of guys in the NBA that if they got hit, they would be like no moss instantly.
Yeah, for sure. For sure.
I mean, they no moss instantly right now in the NBA, let alone the NFL. Yeah, Anthony Davis would not like going to training camp and getting hit in training camp, for sure.
No chance. It's a guarantee.
So you had Suggs number one, right, Jalen Suggs? Is that because he's got cousins, right? Terrell Suggs is his cousin. No.
You better check Jalen Suggs' resume. Yeah, he was Mr.
Football in Minnesota.

Was he really? Yeah, 1,500 passing yards.

I believe 600 rushing yards.

Threw for 12 touchdowns.

He was really good.

Yeah, he was really good.

He was recruited by Ohio State and Nebraska.

Okay.

No, he was really, really good.

And Terrell Sugg's his second cousin too.

There we go.

Okay, good list.

But no Giannis on the list.

I don't know.

I don't know. Once you start getting to that level of being like 6, 8 and above, I got to see footage on it.
Yeah. I saw LeBron James play football in high school.
I saw what he did in Ohio. I ain't seen Giannis play football.
I don't know.

I don't know if he can play receiver and catch.

I don't know.

Yeah.

Somebody else tweeted me a really good idea, I thought, for that debate,

which was Wimby under center on the goal line.

Just snap it to him.

He sticks his arms on it.

It's a touchdown.

It's like the Drew Brees, except you don't have to jump.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Not a bad idea.

So who do you have in the finals, and who's your champion this postseason?

So I got the Celtics coming out of the East.

I got the Minnesota Timberwolves coming out of the West.

And I got Anthony Edwards, finals MVP, Minnesota taking it all.

Okay.

At 22, it would be quite something.

Yeah, but he got an old soul. Yeah.
He got an old soul. He does.
He's different. He's different.
Don't he make you look forward to watching basketball when he plays? Oh, yeah. I can't wait till tomorrow.
Yeah. I was upset when game two ended because I said, damn, I got to wait all the way to Friday to watch this man.
Yeah. No, I've been saying that all playoffs.
Like when it's not an Anthony Edwards night, I'm kind of bummed out. I'm like, well, fuck, what the hell? Like, yeah, I'll watch these games, but I wish Anthony Edwards was playing in it.
Would be nice. Hey, I got a dumb question for you.
Kendrick Lamar versus Drake. Do you have to take Kendrick's side just because of the name? No, but I actually like Drake's delivery belt.
I think Drake came, you know, the way he put into it. Like with Kendrick Lamar, I kind of got to be like, let me put it on.
Let me repeat and listen to this again. I kind of get lost.
But Drake kind of, you know, he's simplified for you. He shoot it out there, you know, and do what he do.
I just hope that it ends. I'm like, when is it going to stop? Okay, the first, like the first one, Drake sat out there, Kendrick responded, Drake responded, Kendrick responded.
I'm like, is this about to be an all summer thing? Because I don't have time for this shit. They're both going to accidentally do an

album.

Whoops. Kendrick's just

going to keep going after him, I think, just like every week

another Drake song. I just thought maybe because

Kendrick is a somewhat unique name,

you'd just be like, I got to ride with Kendrick's no matter

what. No, no, no.

Okay.

I try to shy away from the name Kendrick

and get called Perk. Yeah, Perk's good.
I like the name Kendrick though. Perk has no negative connotations to it.
Yeah. Okay, Perk, we love having you on.
This is always so much fun whenever you're on. I had one last question for you.
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So my last question is, and this is maybe just an excuse to hear you say the word dog again. Can you give us your top three dogs right now in the NBA? Oh.
That's a great, okay. Great.
Yeah. Well, number one is going to be Anthony Edwards.
Yeah. Rottweiler.
Rottweiler. Okay.
Great. Yeah.
Well, number one is going to be Anthony Edwards.

Yeah.

Rottweiler.

Rottweiler.

No teacup poolers, okay?

Rottweiler.

Now, it's a certain type of dog you got to be.

No teacup poolers.

All right.

I'm going to go Anthony Edwards.

I'm going to go Jalen Bronson.

Yeah.

Big body Bronson. Six foot, not athletic, leading the playoffs and scoring.
You got to be some type of damn dog. Damn it, he's dead.
And number three, I got to go with Josh Hart. Oh, okay.
So the Knicks lead the league in dogs. Explain why.
Yeah. Josh Schwartz done played, what, four consecutive games without getting a minute rest? Yeah.
And still, when he lead the game, he still got more in the tank. It's crazy.
He's the best rebounding guard in the playoffs. Imagine averaging over 11 rebounds at 6'5 in today's game you gotta have some gotta have some type of you know what i'm saying some real dog game shit yeah yes he absolutely did he bite yeah forgot that 6-5 to to average that many rebounds is it more about his dog or is he also like a sneaky smart player is he an intelligent dog no no because he gonna get the he gonna get that in traffic it's a difference if you know oh big's boxing out no when you're gonna get offensive rebounds and snatching them in traffic when you shoot a free throw when you shoot a free throw and you and you miss your own free throw and you go get an offensive rebound and put it back,

that's having a dog mentality.

There's nothing else past that.

Yeah, dog that plays in traffic.

So the Knicks lead the league in dogs.

I like that, yeah.

Yeah, they got two dogs.

So, I mean, think about it.

My top three dog, this is pretty damn good.

You got Anthony Edwards, who's undefeated in the postseason right now, right? Who just knocked off Kevin Durant, told him about it. Okay? He told him about it.
Oh, yeah, you're my GOAT. And then knocked him off.
Before the series, he said, oh, everybody think that Bradley Bill and Devin Booker are the best two-guard in the league, but I feel like I am. And when I did bust their ass, that's having a dog mentality.
And now he's telling the world, oh, Jokic, yeah, we got to be on our P's and Q's. He's the best player in the world.
And then he goes out when he's doing what he's doing right now to the Dipper Nuggets. Yeah.
It's all facts. Dogs.
And Jimmy Butler's like, he's a dog. He's definitely a dog, but he's the dog that's like behind the fence and doesn't actually have to get into the fight, and he just does the barking.
Yeah, but he in the dog house. Yeah, a lot of dogs.
Yeah, he barking from the house. You know how you got some of them dogs you go to your partner house or when you was younger, your friend house or your neighbor house, they have a dog barking, but he never come out the house.
Yeah. His dog dog.
Yeah, that's Jimmy right now. So you're walking by in the street and you're getting barked at.
Yeah. Yeah.
Beware of dog. Yeah.
All right. Well, Perk, thank you as always.
We love having you on, man. You're the best.
And good luck with the rest of the playoffs, all the shows you're doing. You're working hard.
You watch games. I know you have that.
Is the beef squashed with Chuck? I mean, it wasn't no beef. You know, I just told the truth, and they got in their feelings about it.
And I wasn't trying to take a shot at them. It just came out naturally, you know? When they was talking about the Knicks, and I was like, they don't know a damn thing about the Knicks, because they don't really watch basketball.
And you know, whatever. I got bigger things and other things to worry about,

like actually focusing on the game of basketball.

This is the most crucial time of the year.

Yeah.

Oh, I had one last question.

You're running, mate.

I know it's a sensitive topic, but Big Baby Davis,

he actually said today that he's going to be able to go to prison

and not eat cheeseburgers, so he's going to get in shape.

Do you still talk to him at all?

Yeah, I actually talked to Big Baby about three days ago. Yeah, how's he doing? Three days ago.
And it wasn't done. It was just a phone call, you know, checking in on him.
I ain't even asking him about the situation. I knew he was dealing with it.
But Big Baby, man, he's from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. He's going to handle that time.
He's going to do the time. The time ain't going to do him.
Yeah, gonna do him yeah yeah yeah and i mean it is a great spin zone to be like i'm probably just gonna get in really good shape yeah i mean go go do it and come on home yeah yeah maybe make a comeback read a few books yeah yeah yeah big three back out there um all right well perk thank you again uh i know you got a crazy busy schedule we We love having you on, man. I appreciate y'all, fellas, and keep up the great work.
Real talk. Welcome back to another Fire Fest of the Week brought to you by our good friends over at Morgan & Morgan.
You know what really sucks? Making a promise that you're going to dunk in nine months and then having to pay a lot of money for it. You know what else really sucks? Backing your car up into a telephone pole that somebody didn't paint in cautionary yellow in the parking lot driving head-on into it uh no not head-on it's got t-boned yeah t-boned i got t-boned you won't know anything about t-boned backed into it again no you're more of a hamburger helper guy i'm a t-bone guy and you know what doesn't suck calling morgan morgan so they can help get you what you deserve.

They can't help any of these fire fests that we've had in the past, unfortunately, although they might be able to sue Hank for my car.

I'll look into that.

They can help fight to get you full and fair compensation when you are injured.

Their fee is free unless they win.

For more information, go to forthepeople.com slash PMT or dial pound law pound 529 from your cell phone.

That's Morgan and Morgan.

You can go to forthepeople.com slash PMT or dial pound law pound five, two nine from your cell phone. That's Morgan and Morgan.
You can go to for the people.com slash PMT or dial pound law pound five, two nine from your cell phone. If you're injured, hit up Morgan and Morgan.
They will fight for you. Their fee is free unless they win.
Okay, let's wrap up. We got fire fest.
I'm very excited about Hanks. Henry also, uh, memes is out on a bachelor party.
Jake is calling golf all weekend.

Go listen, please.

We're very proud of Jake.

He's DJ Tour Live.

Yeah.

Crushing it.

He's calling Max's group.

Yeah, he's calling Max's group.

He's been crushing it with the golf coverage.

Been picking up, you know, what is this, third tournament this year so far?

So please go watch.

So it's just me, PFT, Hank, and Max here. Max has a fire fest for us but hank we always start with you so go ahead yeah i have a couple of the first memes memes isn't here but he uh mr pair two nights in a row jinx two heartbreaking correct mega chokes mega choke fact that it was back to back he had the stars They blew a three-goal lead.
And then he had the Oilers last night. He had a hezy hay to pick the Oilers.
Yep. Thought it was a lock.
Also blew a three-goal lead. Maybe a period of the week, third period.
Yeah. Yeah, I mean, Mr.
Perry, and he also memes has been kind of getting cocky when his teams go up 3-0. Yeah.
And then he starts tweeting these AI things that he's addicted to. By the way, tune in to the PMTV if you missed it.
It released Thursday night. Mr.
Pear picks his NHL and NBA champions. Oh.
Did you not see that? I did put it in. Do you know what he picked? Yes.
I'll watch. You'll be happy.
No, don't say anything. Wait, will he be happy with the NHL or NBA? You don't know.
Maybe both. You have to tune in to find out.
I hope he picks both Boston teams. Me too.
Do you, though? Because he kind of sucks right now. Well, as long as Memes doesn't do the AI, which I'm sure he will now Because he wants to mush me Have you noticed that Memes is getting very very protective over Mr.
Pear Notice It's crazy Like he won't let anybody look at the turtle He's like where are you going He's sleeping right now All he does is stare at it He's like oh still sleeping I think he's in love with Mr. Pear I like how this is the most we've ever talked about memes.
No. The one joke.
So I was walking into the show the other day. I came around the corner, and memes was kissing Mr.
Pear on the lips. I think he actually, when he takes Mr.
Pear home, he just puts him in the front of his underwear. Drives him home that way.
That's how they sleep. That's his bed.
Yeah. No, memes is obsessed with Mr.
Pear, which is good. That's good.
It's very good, but it is a little weird because it's a turtle. I think it's good.
It's a turtle that does nothing but sleep and shit in its own water. He's also very cute, though.
Yeah, no, he's the cutest. My other fire fest, which I alluded to before we recorded, is that I might get caught up in some legal action.
I'm not sure how this works, but I parked at the airport when I went home this past weekend, and I came back, was pretty hungover coming back. It was just like, it was a struggle getting on the plane.
I told the guy next to me that I had food poisoning in case I puked. Probably just reeked like booze, though, so I don't think I was really hiding anything.
So embarrassing. Yeah, no sort of zone.
I fell asleep. You know, no worries.
Get back to my car in the airport. Had a boot on it.
Oh, oh no. And it's because, which I, I still am trying to figure out.
It's not easy dealing with the DMV, but I guess I had a red light, like car violations. Oh yeah.
But I haven't got, like I hadn't got anything in the mail. Oh, have you checked your mail checked your mail yes okay so i think it's like when i moved somehow my my address to an updater it was violations i didn't know about had a boot on my car had to walk like all the way across the parking lot to the boot place pay like it wasn't a crazy amount but i had to pay off the it was like two or three red light violations and then wait like an hour and a half for them to come take my boot off.
Wait, so they've got license plate readers at the airport that scan every car that's going in to see if you have outstanding tickets? Yes. That is a fucking racket.
It's essentially like when they do the Iron Bowl free ticket giveaway and they get everyone for not paying their child support. Well, yeah, it was like that.
They did to you. They also, when I was pulling in, it was crazy busy and they had me park on like a curb like there was a bunch of cars on the curb but there were signs on the curb that said no parking but they literally were you know were directing people to park there so when i got back i was so mad i was like you know getting ready to fight being like i was you know looking at an attendant that told me to park here and they're like no you just have like three red light tickets okay so i don't even know what that means well i i get I collect them like Pokemon cards.
I get one a week. For what? You, if you go through, so there's a couple intersections, you got to know which ones and it's not even like, I don't go through red lights.
No, I go through yellow lights that turn red and they'll, if it's red while you're in the intersection, they will snap your picture. And I'm doing this at like 2 in the morning on Sunday nights when we leave and there's no one on the road.
Yeah. But it doesn't matter.
Get you. It's a fucking racket.
But you get them in the mail. I get them in the mail.
One thing that I've noticed about Chicago and the drivers here is- Be careful. Be careful with this.
No, no, no. I got cooked online for this and it's bullshit.
Okay, a couple things. This is niche Chicago talk i'll start out i'll do a shit sandwich so the nice part first people are very good about waving you in yep people love to wave you in if they'll stop for you let you make a turn if they know that they can't get any further because there's a traffic build up in front they'll let you right in love that about chicago drivers very nice um the left turns when the light is turning red when it's yellow i i come from a place i think most people grow up driving where you go out into the intersection you make the left turn maybe right after it turned red right that's totally fine in chicago you've got like four cars yeah yeah that make that left after you pile up and you're ready to go everybody all you gotta do is just basically be in line and you can make it.
Yeah, if you're there, you can do it. But with the red light cameras, Hank, so I had my car booted in a McDonald's parking lot when I just stepped out of it.
The boot on the car is such a racket. Yeah.
There's somebody that just- Well, the red light cameras are a racket. They are a racket too.
Because it's like I said, I would understand if you actively are going through a red light, which I do not not do it's going through a yellow light that then turns red or like you said going you know getting in line and being like oh i can go left here i'll even say like two cars making that left after turns red that's normal that's fine it's efficient driving here it's like it's like four or five something yeah i like getting in the in that lane and just being like i got this this was like two or three weeks ago i tweeted this because it's insane. You sit at the red light and you see the light goes red.
Four to five cars. Yeah, but that's good.
It's just insane. And PFT's right.
It's only in Chicago. I have literally driven across this entire country.
I've driven my entire life. And I tweeted, one thing I've learned driving in Chicago, everyone turns left on red right after it switches from yellow.
It's just an unspoken thing a car or three does every time. Every single response was like, dude, have you ever driven a car before? That's the most normal thing in the world.
Everyone does it everywhere. One car making that turn is completely normal.
But I like it. It's good.
It's way hard to get. It's hard to make that turn if everyone's going waiting.
Like you'll get at lights sometimes where it will be like if you went by the letter of the law you'd be at that light forever no i respected it was just an observation i was like one thing i know is about chicago and every single person dunked on me being like oh how about you drive in any other state in the world so a lot of those lights that we're talking about they there are lights that don't even have the left turn arrow. Correct.
And they should. And they should.

And this is their way of making up for it. I know we're not giving you an arrow.
So just take the first light. But I also do it when there is a left turn arrow.
Take the first 10 seconds of the red light to go ahead and everybody that's in line. If you're in line, stay in line.
You can make that left turn. Yeah.
I would take what happens here over what happens in New York any day of the week. Because New York, people will do that.
but you can do the left turn thing if you're like the fourth in line,

like PFT was saying, but you do it knowing that you're able to go down the next street. In New York, people will do that and just sit in the middle of the intersection.
Yeah, just to get off the line. Ever trying to get into the tunnel or anything like that, that will just be the entire time you'll just be sitting there and it just all chaos breaks loose because none of the lights actually match up to when you can move yeah yeah i don't mind it either i just literally said one thing i've noticed and people just were like you fucking i think people are still mad about this calling winter over in like february to be fair you also what you said is different than what pfc pfd said i was trying to say exactly what he was trying to be to be he said like you said any but you yeah he made the amount he made it sound like one car making one car that is it all across the country yeah if you are even two even two even two yeah throw it all the time i do it all the time i'd say yeah after it after like the sixth time i saw the fourth car go through the light i was like i think this might be a to be on your game.
It is a Chicago thing. You got to be on your game.
No, I'm with it. I play the game.
I like the game. I respect the game.
It's a better game. It's just a Chicago thing.
It's not like this everywhere else, much to people's disagreement. So you do it, though.
Of course. You've got loads of times.
Yeah, and it also makes it so that everyone's coming. And I've gotten like six fucking tickets doing it, apparently.
Yeah, I mean, I have two. People, you got to pay attention.
That's the other part. But now it's like, I don't want to do it.
You got to be ready to go. I guess I got to figure out where- You just got to figure out where- I know exactly where a couple are on my path.
There's one right down the street that is every time. I think we kind of- Because there's no left on green.
We glossed over Hank's original point was he drove to the airport like a psychopath. That's also crazy.
Why don't you take him over? I think two nights. Park in the lot.
It's like $15 a night. So it's like $30 versus $80 there and back.
Well, not for you. It was like $300.
It was like $500, $600. But no, it's cheaper.
But it actually worked out for you. And if you have time, yeah.
Because imagine if you got booted on a street that you were running around doing errands. Your whole day got fucked.
Yeah, I had time. I wasn't in a rush to get back.
When I said, you said we could do something at four. I was like, I can be there.
And we changed it. I didn't get back to like 6.30, bro.
Man. I did drive to the airport one time in Chicago, and that's a never again thing.
Oh, I like it. I had to park so far away.
But if you have time, it's not bad. You get on the shuttle.
No, it's bad. It's bad.
I'm never doing that again. I like driving.
I like driving, too. I think two days.
If you're going for a weekend trip, no problem. If you reserve your spot, it's a lot better.
Oh, you can do that? Yes. That's the move.
Like a restaurant? Yes. Like a jelly? Reserve your spot.
I've done it at O'Hare. I used to do it at LaGuardia.
If I had like a one day, 24 hour trip, you reserve your spot, you show up, you park. And then it does make sense if it's like one day, maybe two at max.
Anything over two, the cost just doesn't make any sense. It doesn't.
would even say in hank's circumstance where it's like two days you saved like 15 bucks well again no because yeah but it's also nice i don't know i like to drive i like i like getting off a plane i agree and just like being like i just gotta get to my car yeah i like driving yeah it's nice you feel like you have more control yeah yeah yeah sometimes okay well you're oh yeah i'm actually great if there's a pole maybe not fantastic driver uh okay so pft your fire fest uh my fire fest of the week is i have been accused of uh cheating and hacking on my favorite flight simulator game oh no and i'm being threatened with a ban by who by other players oh are you still, shit. Are you still in like a guild? That I'm beating.
I am in a guild. It's a squadron, Hank.
Sorry. I fly in a squadron.
We're improving. It's leaps and bounds.
We're dropping up the charts. Yeah, because you're cheating.
I got accused of cheating. I was also called several racial slurs that I haven't heard in a long time by people accusing me of cheating.
How do you cheat? I don't know. It's one of those things where I think- All right, let me ask that again.
If you've been playing the game for a long time, I think if you're really into the subculture around the game and the lore, you know that there are ways of cheating if you're really into it. I have not spent that much time understanding.
So I don't know. How do you cheat on a computer? Are you playing on a computer or your phone? My phone.
How do you- I don't know. You haven't seen him? He's on his phone.
No, no. I know, but I think if you're playing a computer PC game It's much easier to be like you're hacking You installed something How the fuck do you install hacks on a iPhone Let me ask the question again because I think You were thinking like the broad terms I'm saying how do you cheat How do I cheat Because you clearly cheat I cheat by being a really fucking good pilot That's not cheating No it's not i cheat by being excellent yeah and i think some people get jealous of my excellence in the cockpit but i had i had one game i put up like four mvp performances in a row after each of these games and then one of the guys i was just killing over and over again hit me up and then he told all of his buddies like this guy's now there's, like, now I'm being bullied in my flight simulator game.

Got it.

It's tough.

Is there a forum?

I guess I don't know if there is.

You want to leak it.

But is there, like, an outside forum or, like, Discord channel where, like, people congregate to?

There is a Discord.

I'm not.

I don't participate in the Discord.

I haven't reached that level with it yet.

You have to have a lot of time to participate in that kind of Discord. I might try and find it just to see see the chatter but i don't know yeah there might be like an effort a campaign behind the scenes to get me banned because i'm cheating sounds like there is what's your what's your kd uh a lot my usual i would say i probably kill like average nine planes die three times hmm it's pretty good you might be might be cheating but now i want to know how to cheat because that sounds like it would be awesome yeah they've they've kind of they've spoken into existence now you have to cheat now I have to you're going to be accused of cheating you might as well cheat you made me do this right exactly because like if everyone's already going to think of you a certain way just be like fine I'll fucking cheat yeah but I mean i haven't been called those words by a video gamer

in a long time yeah it kind of feels like still got it were you playing against uh what was his name what was the uh what was the fucking oh the peat players leonard miles leonard yeah myers leonard saw that yeah myers leonard that was a mistake uh okay my fire fest is um I'm being held hostage by a guy named Chuck E. Cheese.

So... That was a mistake.
Okay. My fire fest is I'm being held hostage by a guy named Chuck E.
Cheese. So what is Chuck E.
Cheese's real name? His middle name, the E, stands for entertainment. So therefore, his name is Charles Entertainment Cheese.
Yeah. So I took my kids.
I thought that place closed a long time ago. Dude, it's not.
It's not closed. It might be back.
It definitely went bankrupt or something like a few years. It's not closed because I've been a couple times with my kids and I don't know what happened but my daughter, my middle child, she just thinks every day we're going to go to Chuck E.
Cheese and I have to basically negotiate with a terrorist every single day that today's not the day we're going to Chuck E. Cheese.
And I've taken her many times, like more, I've gone to Chuck E. Cheese more than anyone should go to Chuck E.
Cheese in the last few months,

which is, I think, two or three times.

But every single day, taking her to school, we get in the car, and she's like,

are we going to Chuck E. Cheese?

I'm like, no, we're going to school.

She's like, oh, so we're going to Chuck E. Cheese later.

No, we're not going to Chuck E. Cheese today.

It's Tuesday.

Then we get home.

Dinner.

Is it time to go to Chuck E. Cheese? I don't know what to do.
I think I got to say that it's closed down forever. You have to tell her that school is actually Chuck E.
Cheese. I'm so sick of Chuck E.
Cheese. Yeah, just be like, this is the Chuck E.
Cheese where you learn and color and do finger painting. It's just every day.
Chuck E. Cheese.
When are we going to Chuck E. Cheese? Are we going to, oh, I'm going to take a nap and then I'll get up and we'll go to chuck e cheese no this is not what we do we don't go to chuck e cheese every day but now i think i either have to go to chuck e cheese every day or yeah say that it's closed or here's here's what you do you just give some you give tickets to her teacher and then when she does an assignment like here's your tickets you're at chuck e cheese if you want you can redeem these for like a tiny plastic dinosaur at the end of the day.
Yeah. Like turn every place that she goes into Chuck E.
Cheese. And we're going to do a birthday at Chuck E.
Cheese for her. So now it's going to just reignite the love for Chuck E.
Cheese. Yeah.
Chuck E. Cheese does rock.
It does rock, but I can't do it every day. Yeah.
And I've been asked, I would say 16 out of the last 17 days I've been asked, when are we going to Chuck E. Cheese? This is why you never do anything fun with your children.
I know. I know.
They want to go to the – you do one thing at once. You got to do like the – I'm trying to think.
I feel like I would get told like if you don't talk about Chuck E. Cheese, maybe we'll go.
Yeah, I don't think that would be. But then she's just going to be thinking about Chuck E.
Cheese. It's almost worse.
Yeah, and it's like she won't be able to focus on anything else besides Chuck E. Cheese.
Don't say Chuck E. Cheese.
Like every time you bring up Chuck E. Cheese, we're not going for another day.
I'm basically living with the Busters guy in a three-year-old girl body where she's just like, but you love Chuck E. Cheese.
You could turn your entire house into a Chuck E. Cheese.
Yeah, we could just build an arcade here. We could do a Chuck E.
Cheese arcade here. Yeah, get Pasquale the the parrot the craziest thing is it's not even fun for her i thought that was like a huge like when we go it's not like there's she's not at the point where she can play the video games yeah it's not really that fun but there's a ball pit right there's no ball pit at this chuck e cheese oh what's the point i i mean there's like little rides and then we play cruising usa and we crash into everything.
That's fun. And then we get, and then we do the game where we try to win like a ball.
Yeah. And usually I fail and look like a fucking loser.
Yeah. I think you just get, get a couple arcade machines.
We can put them in the office. We can even get a ball pit in the office.
That would probably be good. Yeah.
And then just have. Oh, that'd be good for our lice.
It'd be really good for the lice to share around yeah yeah one time my job was to be in charge of

uh hosing down the ball pit whenever some kid diarrheaed in it ball pits are gross

they're gross bad bad times uh but yeah just turn the office to a chuck e cheese and be like we're

going to chuck e cheese that's all i got or your house put up a sign be like we're back chuck e

cheese yeah we're here chuck e cheese welcome back chuck e cheese yeah but i yeah i just it's it it's

breaking me slowly to have to just every single day be asked are we going to chuck and again

And we're here at Chuck E. Cheese.
Welcome back, Chuck E. Cheese.
Yeah. But yeah, it's breaking me slowly to have to just every single day be asked, are we going to Chuck E.
Cheese? And again, it's not like I'm being a hard ass, like we're never going to Chuck E. Cheese.
I've been to Chuck E. Cheese too many times.
Do you like the pizza? I like Chuck E. Cheese pizza.
It's good. Yeah.
No, I haven't had it since I was probably like 12. Yeah.
But it was really good. It is funny going back to all these places and being like, damn, this place is small.
Yeah. Whereas when you were a kid, you're like, this is the craziest place ever.
The animatronic band. I thought they were giants.
Yeah, the light up dance floor. Yeah.
Chuck E. Cheese rocks.
So yeah, that's my Firefest. Max, finish us off.
This past week has been, you know, I was at a wedding. That's normal Firefest fest.
Flight got delayed. Love is fire fest.
Wow. Seeing your friends at their happiest.
The wedding itself was delightful, but like it's the normal thing. Like flight was delayed.
Sweat through my shirt. Outdoor wedding.
That's not normal. Sweating through your shirt at a wedding.
That's every time. You are that guy.
I'm the guy who goes as hard as you possibly could on a dance floor you got the tie around your head not a tire no the tie is in my back pocket jacket jacket at the at the dinner table rip your pants rip your pants i've ripped my pants before yeah you definitely have that look on your face where you're you're dancing so hard you look angry yeah yeah oh yeah yeah you you you are like the the guy that every uh you know like mother of the bride looks at and they're like really correct that is this is now this was supposed to be a classy day and this guy's here 100 percent max me every time what's your move in terms of going up to the bartender at the start of a an open bar wedding so the i'm normally two martinis and then and then beer. Two martinis.
Yeah, but what about tip? Because you got a tip. So I do a 20 at the beginning.
Smart. And then I'll get a couple drinks.
And then once I feel like I've gotten enough drinks, it's a five. Do you say anything? No.
I hate to be able to say something. No, I never say anything.
But the bartender always knows the 20, the person who gives the 20. Sometimes you have to wait, though, to make sure the bartender sees you put the 20 in.
I don't know if bartender, I assume any bartenders listening to this show, back me up if I'm way off, but they have to hate whenever someone gives them a 20 and they're like, take care of me for the rest of the day. Keep them coming.
Yeah, that's the worst. That's the fucking worst guy in the world.
Like, what do you mean take care of me? You're going to get... It's open bar.
Yeah, it's almost worse than not tipping because you're saying that your $20 will direct the course of this employee's evening for the rest of his night. And also, everyone's like...
$20 isn't an absurd amount of money. There's probably 20 people there are giving him $20 to start the night.
It's like the dude when you go on vacation, like there's always one dude around the pool that thinks he's like best friends with the locals. You gave him a tip the first day.
It's like, yeah, we're like, we're basically friends for life. Like, dude, shut up.
During any wedding, I do the same thing. I go up, I usually do $20 right off the bat.
And then after I get about three drinks in me, four drinks in me, then I'm like, fuck it, let's just give this guy more money. Spam him.
And then the next time I go up, I'm like, here's 40. Yeah.
Yeah. They're like, thank you, I guess.
Yeah. And from their perspective, they just see a bunch of people all dressed the same.
Yeah. They don't even recognize who's giving what.
Remember me, I'm the guy that's wearing the tie. Yeah.
Remember me, I'm the sweaty guy. Yeah.
So wait, what was your fire fest? So my real fire fest is this is like a year long fire fest that has happened again this week. I'm in a battle with my deli guy at my grocery store.
Oh, I don't know. I don't know if it's Chicago or if it's my specific grocery store that I go to, but I like I go to the deli thing.
I get my turkey, I get my cheese, but I like my cheese very thin.

So then you got to say it.

I say it every time.

Every time I go in there, I'm like very, very, very thin.

And the guy will give me a slice of cheese,

and I'm like a little bit thinner than that.

And then once I go home, it's always thicker than when he gives it to me.

Wait, you make him recut the cheese?

No, sometimes they give you a sample.

Okay.

Have you ever?

But wait, what do you say?

Matches for on cooking. And how does this tie to a wedding? Say what...
No, this is what I... He's a sweaty guy and he wants his cheese thin.
No, the wedding... I wasn't ready...
I wasn't going to talk about the wedding. I was just going to say, like, this past week, that's my fire fest of the week was like the normal wedding things but like year long i've been thinking about this fire fest of my battle with this cheese deli for all right wait every time fire so role play i'm i'm the guy who's cutting your cheese uh hey hey what can i get you hey can i get the uh the way you already are hey i'm already done with you hey can i get can I get the white? I'm already done with you.
Hey, can I get the white American sliced very, very thin? I think you got it. I do two verys.
I think very is the wrong word. I think you say extra thin.
Very special. Very is just not extra.
If I do two verys, that should mean very thin. No, extra feels like if you say, hey, can I get some cheese? I like it cut extra thin.
Maybe hold up something in comparison. I want it to be a slice of paper.
Yeah, bring a sheet of paper and be like this thin. Yeah, you're doing the see-through.
Jim Nance's toast. You need to just get it perfectly cut and then just hold on to that slice of cheese for the rest of your life in a in a ziploc bag in your pocket and anywhere you go you can be like look this is what i like i think you try extra extra okay just try a different deli too no but just now but there's i'm not gonna go to different let me know how extra works i think for some reason someone's saying very very thin is just...
But wait, if it's white American cheese, that's a very moist cheese.

Yeah.

Right?

It might not be possible to cut white American cheese as thin as you.

Not true.

You might be asking him to do an impossible task.

I mean, at the Acme in Philly, they get that thing as thin as shit.

Well, then maybe you should just order your cheese from the Acme in Philly.

Yeah, just say extra thin and let me...

And report back.

Okay.

You know what? Max, when's your birthday? This month. I'm going to get you a cheese slicer so you can cut your own cheese as thin as you want it.
I don't even know how that's possible. What do you mean? You don't think you can buy a cheese slicer? But you're going to complain about somebody else doing it not thin enough for you? That's their job.
Yeah, I think you give off bad vibes to these deli guys. I just want it thin.
Let's be honest. If Max walked into your deli, the first thought you'd have is, this guy is going to be a fucking pain in the ass about how I cut the salami.
Let me get seven pounds of salami. Yeah.
Oh, you want enough pepperoni to cover up your nipples. I just want some thin cheese, man.
You need to say very, very thin is off-putting. I don't care what a wedding has to do with any of this.
It's very, very off-putting. I don't know why you're still on the wedding, Hank.
Why you brought it up in the first place? Try extra. Very, very feels like you're scolding something.
Which is a slicer. Very, very thin? I don't know what Mr.
Pear had to do with your parking situation. That was to bring up PMTV, which I was asked to do.
Smart. Plug God.
Oh, okay. Fair.
Extra. Extra.
Got it. Very, very just.
Yeah, I don't know. I'd be bothered by very, very feels like you're like you're really kind of talking down to me like I don't.
Okay, that could be okay. I don't thought about it like that, right? Because when you say very, very, it's like, dude, show.
Well, that's a very, very special guest. When you say very twice, it's like, hey, buddy, I got it the first time okay no i don't i don't hate the same guy every time no it's different all right let's get extra let's get extra mixed in the lingo and let's in report back is it a deli or is it a deli in a grocery store it's a deli in a grocery like the deli counter at the grocery and maybe a little please and thank you oh no i do i i am polite do you tip him but your whole tone and vibe is angry are you supposed to tip the deli counter maybe cut your yeah maybe say hey hey hey take care of me for the rest of the time all right yeah remember this face how much do you go to this guy he eats a lot of cheese they should teach tipping in the grocery store i probably get cheese every other week go to the grocery once a week.
I think actually they shouldn't teach tipping in school.

I never know.

It's actually a good litmus test of like, were your parents shitty or not?

If you're a bad tipper.

But there's things where you don't know like what to tip, do not tip.

Give me, what are you talking about?

Deli.

No.

I don't think you usually do.

If there's a jar there and I've got like a $5 bill, I put it in.

Yeah, or if it's like you're doing, I would tip if I was doing, uh, going to a deli and ordering so much stuff for a party that it was, you know, when, when you have to ask, ask for a ton of stuff and you hold up everyone else because your guys like running back like, Oh, and I'll take this and I'll take that. That would maybe be a tip.
Do you do 20% at a restaurant? Obviously when you order takeout yes 20 uh take out or delivery yeah is it pickup pickup or delivery delivery i usually either one i smash more i do i do 25 yeah on delivery what about takeout takeout takeout i'll tip a little probably yeah like 15 to 20 yeah i'll round up i got soup on on Tuesday night. I got ramen soup.
I did 20% on that. Yeah, because, I mean, they're still making the food.
Yeah, no, I know. I just, there's.
Yeah, no, I always tip when you pick up. I wouldn't tip a full, like, 25 on pickup, but I'd tip.
Because that money goes to, like, the kitchen and the expo that does the takeout stuff. It's not to like a server hotel rooms yeah yes if i'm there for a long time i've started to do that a lot recently i like to write a little note yeah be like thanks for all you do appreciate you if i'm there for a night maybe not if i'm there for multiple nights i'll leave you know 40 like if we're super bowl week i'll leave 100 or something because they've been cleaning all week Yeah also max happy birthday you're getting a cheese slicer so you can do your own cheese okay yeah you have nobody to complain to now i'm excited maybe we can build a shelf behind you and just have this the slicer right there yeah you should do a segment that's that should be like a max video cutting the cheese with max sounds great thrilling uh okay good fire fest boys uh let's do numbers max you ever gotten this uh no i've not yet pft have you gotten this not yet but he's going to so am i someone offered me today wait there's other people here that haven't gotten it max why are you singling me out why why is big cat singling me i'm asking you because i have a rivalry with you

in this because i told you i would get it before you and the only other person is memes um memes

doesn't count uh i almost took this guy up on on an offer today he said that he would buy a certain

amount of stella blue coffee if I vacated my win,

and then he'd buy double that if I then beat Max again.

It's a tunnel of chaos.

Kind of wanted to do it.

Kind of wanted to do it.

Just be like, you know what?

Vacate.

I'll do it again.

I'll take eight.

Watch me do it again.

Okay.

26, please.

20.

99, pug.

I'm going to go...

Thank you. Uh, 26, please.
20. 99 pug.

I'm going to go.

21.

67.

Show me an eight.

Show me what Max doesn't like to do to thick cheese.

Mm. 38.

Love you guys. I'm to say I'm saved anyway Today is a holiday

To find you to shine away

I'll be coming for your love of grace

Take on me Take me up I'll be gone Right to watching Needless to say I'm all set in But I'm feeling so little I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I me Place the bedding to be safe than sorry Say up to me Place the bedding to be safe and solid Take on me Take me on I'll be gone in a day of cheer. Take on me Take me young I'll be gone And I do too Take on me

Take me up

I'll be gone

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