Julian Edelman, Blake Bortles, The Nuggets Are Back And We Have An Embrace Debate On Whether Or Not Any Of Us Have Hobbies

2h 28m

The Denver Nuggets are still good at basketball (00:00:00-00:18:10). We talk about this weekends games including the Thunder going down sad in Game 3 with a Hack a Shaq strategy (00:18:10-00:23:19). The Celtics are back to dominating and Hank calls out Knicks fans after the Pacers have a great weekend of basketball (00:23:19-00:37:32). Hockey talk and the Panthers took it to the Bruins and we ask are the Canucks a team of destiny (00:37:32-00:51:09). Who's back of the week including the Pistons picking 5th and a deep dive into Secratariat doing Steroids (00:51:09-01:12:16). Julian Edelman joins the show to talk Tom Brady's roast, a joke that didn't make the cut, what he thinks about Drake Maye and more (01:12:16-01:48:20). Blake Bortles joins the show to catch up with the guys on his new hobbies, construction work, and advice to young quarterbacks coming into the league (01:48:20-02:13:34). We finish the show with an embrace debate do we have any hobbies (02:13:34-02:26:03)?


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Runtime: 2h 28m

Transcript

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have a great, great show with some great friends.

Speaker 1 We got Julian Edelman on the show talking about the roast last week, talking about Drake May as a prospect, some also fun stories that we'd never heard before.

Speaker 1 And then we have longtime friend Blake Bortles checking in. We figured we need to get Blake on before Blake of the Year happens in a month and a half.
Always the best guy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Tells us what he's up to.

Speaker 3 How retirement's treating him.

Speaker 1 His construction career.

Speaker 3 Relive some old moments.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so awesome, awesome interviews on a Monday. And we also are going to talk some playoffs.
All the overreactions look foolish now after a weekend of playoff games. We got a couple tied series.

Speaker 1 We got the Mavs up 2-1.

Speaker 1 Celtics back on track.

Speaker 1 And some good hockey that we're going to discuss as well.

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the street, there is violence.

Speaker 1 And then I love the sound of work to be done.

Speaker 1 No place to hang out or washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can't blame all on the sun.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, we're gonna rock it down to electric avenue.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to electric It's part of my take, presented by Marshall Sports.

Speaker 1 Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by DraftKings Play Pick 6 from DraftKings, a new fantasy app that packs more fun into less time. Download the new DraftKings Pick 6 app now and use code TAKE.

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The crown is yours. Today is Monday, May 13th.
And PFT, let's correct some overreactions.

Speaker 3 The Nuggets are, in fact, not dead.

Speaker 1 The Nuggets are good at basketball.

Speaker 3 They didn't forget how to play.

Speaker 1 I actually,

Speaker 1 so

Speaker 1 it felt like a lot has happened in the last three days of the playoff world. And the number one story is the Denver Nuggets evening the series against the Minnesota Timberwolves.

Speaker 1 And what we said last week, like, this is the first time the Nuggets are going to have their back against the wall in the last year and a half of playoffs.

Speaker 1 And turns out they answered the bell, and they looked awesome.

Speaker 1 And Nicole Jokic, who is the best player in the world, who you saw the little doubters creeping out of their holes and being like, ooh, Nicole Jokic shouldn't get his third MVP.

Speaker 1 He had a masterclass on Sunday night.

Speaker 3 Yeah, and Friday night, they played really well, too.

Speaker 3 The overreaction was, I think it was somewhat warranted, though, because they looked like shit in the first two games. Michael Malone even said, you know what he did?

Speaker 3 He went home and he put together a compilation tape of all the talking heads talking shit about the Nuggets. And he was like, I didn't do that because I hate those guys.

Speaker 3 I did that because they were right.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 3 So he actually, credit to Michael Malone for respecting the biz and giving Stephen A. Smith all the credit for turning around.
It was so bad, in fact, that like Stephen A.

Speaker 3 Smith, I don't know if you saw this, but after the game, the most recent one where they went up,

Speaker 3 I guess after Friday's game, Stephen A. Smith said,

Speaker 3 yeah, I was wrong and I apologize.

Speaker 3 I've never heard Stephen A. Smith back dead.

Speaker 1 Whoa. Yeah.

Speaker 3 That is crazy. But I think when we talked about it, we were at least just saying what we've seen, which was the Nuggets look like shit.
They look lost.

Speaker 3 Timberwolves look awesome, which they did through two games. And then they found out, yeah, okay, we can actually play with these guys.
That went on Friday, gave them a lot of confidence.

Speaker 3 It's a weird series because we haven't had a home team win yet. Correct.
For business trips all around.

Speaker 1 And Jokic was incredible all weekend long. He had, in the two games, he had 59 points, 21 rebounds, 16 assists in those two games.

Speaker 1 Tonight, especially, it feels like they, you know, you don't want to say they solve something because this series will go back and forth, and now you get the counter punch from the Wolves.

Speaker 1 But Jokic basically, like, especially with the Murray pick and rolls, was like, oh, I'm just going to stop before I get close to the rim and neutralize Rudy Gobert and shoot these floaters that are there.

Speaker 1 And he was so awesome. And then it also helps that Aaron Gordon played out of his mind.

Speaker 1 11 for 12 from the field was hitting everything like when aaron gordon plays like that everything opens up because now when you're doing pick and rolls when you're cutting to the rim he's standing out there he's gonna he's gonna shoot and he's gonna make it and the wolves defense and and the worst part for the wolves tonight and i don't want to listen i understand it's emotional for fans when your team is in in the playoffs and you've also got guys that you've ridden for for a while last week i joked about carl anthony towns making the you know people talk about the big three, me, Ant, and Rudy Gobert.

Speaker 1 And I was like, I don't think people talk about that as a big three. Tonight is why.
Because Carl Anthony Towns was fucking dog shit. And Anthony Edwards was incredible.

Speaker 1 And they wasted a 44-point night from Anthony Edwards because he, Rudy Gobert, and Carl Anthony Towns were not good.

Speaker 3 Well, yeah, Rudy Gobert wasn't great tonight, but the Nuggets did their worst damage when he was off the court. Yeah, but he was.

Speaker 3 When he went out, did he have two quick fouls and he went out and they went on a huge run? It was like a 24-6 run, 24-4 run, something like that. It's because Rudy wasn't on the court then.

Speaker 1 Carl Anthony Towns, I don't understand how a guy his size still doesn't know how to play in the post. Like,

Speaker 1 he's in the post, and if it's Aaron Gordon one-on-one, Aaron Gordon can D him down. If they send a double team, he panics and looks completely lost.

Speaker 1 He was five for 18 tonight, and like I said, Anthony Edwards was out of this world.

Speaker 1 I don't know if there's an actual conversation to be had, but it feels like Nas Reed should be playing more, especially later in the game, and maybe tape sitting, gober, or Carl Anthony Towns.

Speaker 3 Remember, that was game one, right? Nas Reed came out there and just lit shit up.

Speaker 1 I just, this is the frustration of Carl Anthony Towns.

Speaker 1 He has all the ability in the world, but then you have nights like tonight where it's like, if you want to be a big three, you can't go five for 18 and waste a 44-point performance from your best player, Anthony Edwards.

Speaker 3 I'll put it this way. If I was cat size, I would be the best basketball player in the history of the world.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I really would.
And the Nuggets didn't shoot out of this. They shot like 57%.
Yeah, they shot.

Speaker 3 And they had the role players playing well on the road.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Aaron Gordon. That's what we always say.

Speaker 3 That's the theme of this series, as we always say.

Speaker 1 And I know a game isn't won or lost in one moment, but I do actually think that the game was lost for the Wolves with 48 seconds left in the first half.

Speaker 1 Anthony Edwards hit a three to cut the lead to seven.

Speaker 1 48 seconds left. They went to halftime.
They were down 15.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I'd say that the game was over when Jamal Murray hit that shot at halftime.

Speaker 1 That was just like they fought all the way back because they went down, you know, in the second quarter. And like, okay, we can go into half down seven.
That's great.

Speaker 1 And he's like, what the fuck just happened?

Speaker 3 Somebody do the stats on that for me. If there's a buzzer beater before halftime in a game.
A 55-footer. A 55-footer.
I bet you that team goes on to at least cover the spread in the second half.

Speaker 1 I do think that I think the Wolves will have a good answer on

Speaker 1 whatever game Tuesday night. Yeah.
Maybe Rudigobert just has to have another kid.

Speaker 3 Well, maybe they need to have just like another three-day break and then it's and then it flips back. Yeah.
Because I this series is buckle up. That's what I'm going to say.
Buckle up for this series.

Speaker 1 I was just very impressed by the Nuggets and I know that they sh they shouldn't be doubted because they won a championship, but they won it somewhat easily and that's a credit to them.

Speaker 1 That's not saying it was an easy

Speaker 1 path. But this was their first like real test of these of the playoffs in the last couple of years.
And it's like, holy shit. They answered it and they answered it resoundingly.

Speaker 1 We're for real, and we like, we're not going to go down like punks.

Speaker 3 Hank, you had something that you looked like you were going to say earlier.

Speaker 1 What do you think? You went back to scared about the Nuggets.

Speaker 3 You moved up to the mic.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I mean,

Speaker 5 the Nuggets are the scariest team in the West. You're right.
Left in the playoffs, period.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you think the Wolves will

Speaker 1 where do you think this series is going to go? I think it's going to go seven.

Speaker 5 I think it's going to go six.

Speaker 1 Really? You think the Nuggets have it in the next two?

Speaker 1 Unfortunately. They just figured it out.

Speaker 5 I hope the Wolves win in six but the fact that stephen a smith apologized concerns me that would concern me deeply deeply if i was a timber wolves fan yeah stephen a smith could run somebody over in his car if he was driving it blindfolded and he'd be like that person shouldn't have been in the intersection well it's why like the i the nuggets are the team you want to face the least because they have the most experience and this is you know that time of the playoffs where experience matters and like the nuggets just do not care like they're not worried about you know the pressure of game five or six or seven because Jokic is you know the team leader and he doesn't care so everyone kind of bounces off that.

Speaker 5 Whereas Anthony Edwards is 22. The Thunder are super young.
Even the Mavs don't have experience this deep in the playoffs.

Speaker 5 So that's why thinking about the championship, if you were to do that, you'd rather play one of those younger, more inexperienced teams. But that's why I think the Nuggets

Speaker 5 are going to roll from here on out.

Speaker 1 It was a fun weekend reminder that Jokic is the best player because just

Speaker 1 the way he plays and the pace he plays and the decision making that he, like, he just puts the defense into such a bind when he's on that no one else is really like that.

Speaker 3 And his passing right off of pick and roll is. Right.
Yeah, it's just a big, he's a big question that you have to answer.

Speaker 1 And in the shooting before you get to the rim, like figuring out exactly where he can take apart a defense with the defensive player of the year and Rudy Gobert and just seamlessly doing it.

Speaker 1 It's just, he's incredible.

Speaker 3 And Hank said that he doesn't really care, but Jokic actually, what I've seen from him in the last two games, he very much cares.

Speaker 5 No, not cares.

Speaker 3 Like, you saw him a couple times out there getting really heated up. Like, he deeply cares about this team, and he wants to win.

Speaker 3 He might, yeah, when he gets home, he might be like, oh, shit, I wish I was, you know, in a horse stable back in Serbia for the next two weeks.

Speaker 3 But when he's out there with his team, he definitely does care and wants to win very badly.

Speaker 5 No, that's not what I meant at all. Obviously, he cares.
He's the best player in the world. I meant more about the pressure of games that get later in the series.

Speaker 1 He doesn't feel the same. He doesn't feel it.
I'd agree with that. I would agree with that.

Speaker 5 Like, he doesn't care if it's game seven or if it's game two.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he does. He feels that.

Speaker 5 He doesn't doesn't care if it's the finals or if it's the first round.

Speaker 1 The same guy every time, and it's a killer.

Speaker 5 But with younger teams, I mean, even silent, even in Celtics in the past, like you can kind of see teams pucker up a little bit, you know, as the pressure rises.

Speaker 3 He does nothing but success for the Celtics in the past, though.

Speaker 5 Something like that.

Speaker 3 So, rank the four teams out of the west. Scary, who are you the most scared of? And then, all the way down to who you're not scared of at all:

Speaker 5 Nuggets one, Nuggets, Timberwolves,

Speaker 5 Thunder, Really?

Speaker 3 What if Kyrie?

Speaker 3 What if Kyrie steps unlucky?

Speaker 5 Kyrie won. Kyrie has gotten smoked in every single game he's played against the Celtics, I think, since that happened.

Speaker 1 Since he stepped on Lucky. Kyrie's playing out of his mind right now.

Speaker 5 Yeah, no, he's really good. I just think the matchup versus Thunder would be probably harder for the Celtics than the Mavs.

Speaker 3 We actually did a bad job. The most important story out of the NBA playoffs this weekend is one that happened on Thursday night right after we got done recording.

Speaker 3 Somebody had had their phone out and played porn during Lucas press conference after the game.

Speaker 1 Yes. It was actually the first time a lot of those reporters had ever heard porn.

Speaker 3 Yeah, they were like, my God.

Speaker 1 What the fuck?

Speaker 3 I wish Jake Marsh was in the room at that time.

Speaker 1 Is there a cat in distress?

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 3 what do you think the root cause of that was? My theory is that somebody clicked something and it opened up like Safari on their phone. And the last time they had been on Safari,

Speaker 3 they were watching porn.

Speaker 3 They forgot to close that. Or maybe they accidentally opened up a private tab and it was still open open from last time.

Speaker 5 Yeah, sometimes I've heard that like when you close,

Speaker 5 like if it, if you, and I've heard that if you have it open and you close Safari, like, you know, if you have a YouTube video and it will still be on your home screen to press play.

Speaker 1 Oh, where you, yeah, yeah, right.

Speaker 5 I've heard that that could happen.

Speaker 3 Was it James Brown video that you watched?

Speaker 3 Damp lips.

Speaker 1 Damplips.com. A little brunette bitch sucking your trainer's copy.

Speaker 3 I'll find it, of course. Hank, why don't you, let's do an experiment.
Maybe pull something up on your phone and then see press play and then see if it shows up on your home screen.

Speaker 1 James Brown was

Speaker 3 it was definitely damplips.com.

Speaker 1 It was damplips.com and it was

Speaker 1 sexy little brunette. Okay.
Hold on.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to find it.

Speaker 1 Oh, he deleted it, obviously. We got to find it.

Speaker 3 If I were him, I would never delete that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, leave that up. It stays up.
Well, let people have the fucking link.

Speaker 3 Listen, I'm a man.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Are you doing it? Are you doing it?

Speaker 3 All right, let's see. Hank is giving you a test right now.
So press play.

Speaker 5 It is not showing up.

Speaker 3 Do you have like that Covenant Eyes app where you're not allowed to watch porn?

Speaker 5 Oh, nope. There it is.

Speaker 1 What is it? Oh, it's right there. Oh, it's right there.

Speaker 3 Okay, so now hit it and see if you can get it to play.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 3 Was that fart porn?

Speaker 1 No. What was that? Sounded like a fart.
I don't trust people, though, that don't X out right away. Are sexy little brunette bitch sucking?

Speaker 5 What does that mean about that?

Speaker 1 I don't trust people who don't X out right away. I agree.
You have to X out right away. The minute,

Speaker 1 the minute you caught, you're just like, what am I doing? If you don't know what I'm saying, that's what I'm saying. No, that's

Speaker 1 what you're saying. That's what happened.

Speaker 5 That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 So you close it out? Walk us through what you just did.

Speaker 5 You're watching.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 5 You finish. You close it out.

Speaker 1 Investigative research.

Speaker 3 You close it out. What do you mean, close it out?

Speaker 5 Like, you just shut your phone.

Speaker 1 And it just stays on the home.

Speaker 1 I know what you're talking about. If you watch like a YouTube video.

Speaker 5 You're watching and then I close it. Yeah.
And then I close my phone like I'm done. Yeah.
But it's still.

Speaker 1 Camp Lips is still up on your phone. Yeah.
Got it.

Speaker 3 Why do they have the share to Twitter button on porn videos?

Speaker 1 I mean, there's some people who probably want to share.

Speaker 1 And why do they have a comment section in porn videos?

Speaker 1 People got to sound off.

Speaker 3 The comment section. Got to give some tips.
I love the porn comment section. You You get the real takes down there.
Who is she?

Speaker 1 Yeah. This person fell off.
Anybody have a name? Name.

Speaker 1 Yeah. At.
Can someone give it an at?

Speaker 3 I hope it devolves into like goat conversations down there. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
This is the goat. This is why she's my goat.
Yeah. By the way, Skip Bayless, or Stephen A.
Smith apologizing makes me think that Stephen A. or Skip Bayless is like...

Speaker 1 He is not as popular as Stephen A. Smith.
I think that debate is over.

Speaker 3 You think Stephen A. won the breakup?

Speaker 1 He won the breakup, but I think Skip Bayless won, if you want to say, like, who stayed true to themselves? Because Skip is still just firing crazy takes with no remorse.

Speaker 1 He had one that I'm mad that we didn't come up with

Speaker 1 when Frank Vogel got fired

Speaker 1 from the Suns. He said Frank Vogel led the Lakers to the 2020 championship.
Since then, he's already been fired twice. Shows you how the league viewed the Lakers' bubble title, Mickey Mouse.

Speaker 3 Yeah, everybody else.

Speaker 1 Frank Vogel getting fired twice. God damn, that's good.

Speaker 3 Mickey Mouse title. Good detective work.
Also, that makes me think that how Skip Bayless has lost two consecutive breakups. You would agree that also Shannon Sharp has been just

Speaker 3 next level. Club Shashia.
So it's like Skip Bayless is good luck Chuck, where if you get with Skip Bayless, then your career is about to absolutely take off. I like that.

Speaker 3 As soon as you get done not having to talk to Skip Bayless anymore, life becomes so much better.

Speaker 1 Skip Bayless, try to make Emmanuel Acho popular challenge.

Speaker 3 Yeah, level impossible.

Speaker 3 Actually, Actually, Skip, if you want to be an intern, I'm part of my take.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we'll take you.

Speaker 3 Yeah, we'll take you on. We were looking for a Cowboys fan.

Speaker 1 That'd be great.

Speaker 3 What if we got Tiff hooked up with Skip Bayless?

Speaker 1 Will you do that to Ernestine? I don't know if Ernestine exists. No, she does.
Does she? Oh, yeah. They don't sleep in the same bed during the week.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 3 I don't know.

Speaker 1 Who takes those videos?

Speaker 3 Ernestine. It might be Ernestine.

Speaker 1 Either Ernestine or Wiz Khifa. That's it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Right? That's the only two options. Lil Wayne.
Lil Wayne. My bad.
He's best friends with Lil Wayne. Yes.
That was close.

Speaker 1 Wait, who does Wizard? Wale.

Speaker 3 Wiz. He likes Wale, too.

Speaker 1 Is he root for the Steeler?

Speaker 3 He's a Pirates fan. He's Steeler.

Speaker 1 All right. All right.
I knew he was a sports fan, but yeah, Lil Wayne's a Packers fan. Yeah, look, there's Ernestine right there.
Right there on the screen.

Speaker 1 She's right there. All right, we should talk about the Thunder and Matt.

Speaker 3 I will not speak because if I speak, I will be in big trouble.

Speaker 1 Let's talk about the Thunder and Mavs.

Speaker 1 I might be out on the Thunder.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 They're young. They're fun.
SGA is awesome. Ched is awesome.

Speaker 1 I love Lou Dort, even though this might not have been the best Lou Dort game because they were like, hey, what if we just did UFC to Luca all game?

Speaker 1 Lou Dort just delivered like a perfect knee to the midsection on one of those plays. And Luca's like, I know we said that he lets you know he's hurt.

Speaker 1 He's actually hurt now because they just keep hurting him.

Speaker 3 So I think that two things can be true about Luca. One is he complains about everything.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 3 And the second is he's also tough as fuck.

Speaker 1 Also, Max told us after the show on Friday, he was like, when you guys were talking about Luca being the new Big Ben, I was just silently being like, please don't bring up Embiid.

Speaker 1 Embiid is the new Big Ben. That was our fault.
Yeah. Correction.
Good point, Max. Good point, Max.

Speaker 1 I'm out on the Thunder for one reason.

Speaker 1 They can win me back.

Speaker 1 I thought that was so fucking lame that they did hack a lively with six minutes left. Down five.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was a five-point game, and they started doing hack a shack on Derek Lively, who I love, I always root for the guy who gets hacked to prove them wrong. And he did.

Speaker 1 He went eight for 12 from the free throws.

Speaker 1 You're the one seed, and you're down five in the fourth quarter with six minutes left, and you have SGA and one of the best players in the NBA, and you're doing fucking hack a lively.

Speaker 1 Come on, man.

Speaker 3 Lively is becoming one of my favorite favorite players, one of my favorite role players in the NBA. Yeah, he works so hard on defense.

Speaker 3 He's fun to watch. And when you do, there was one time when Chet was chasing him around the court.
Yeah. Like he was playing tag.

Speaker 1 Tag, yeah.

Speaker 3 And like lively had to run out of bounds and run back inbounds. And Chet was just like running out with his arms outstretched, like Pepe Le Pue trying to catch the girl cat.

Speaker 3 It was very funny to watch, but you're right. I do root.
I root for the guy that is being singled out as being a shitty free throw shit.

Speaker 1 And it just ruins the flow of the game. It does.

Speaker 1 The end of the game just, it was a great game, and then it just got clunky. And we're just going to the free throw line.
And again, it's six minutes left. You're down five.

Speaker 1 I don't want to see this happen in basketball again, where it's like, this is what the analytics tell us. We got to just start fouling this guy.
Play the game out.

Speaker 3 And haters of the NBA will say, we only have to watch the last two minutes of the game, which are the best parts usually of a game. Yeah.
And they're taking that away from us.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it just, I don't know. Again, they can win me back, but I think even Thunder fans probably were a little disappointed in that.
You're the one seed. You have a really good team.

Speaker 1 You have a lot of young, awesome players that are learning how to play in the playoffs. And then you're doing this bullshit with six minutes left.

Speaker 1 We also should shout out PJ Washington, who's like the best player ever.

Speaker 3 27 points. So this was the first time that Kyrie and Luca have played together on the Mavs, and one of those two is not the leading scorer on their team.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's been incredible.

Speaker 1 I think everyone graded that an F trade when he got traded from the Hornets, but he's been awesome. And then Kyrie in one-on-one situations at the end of the game.

Speaker 1 I don't know who else, I mean, maybe you'd say Jokic,

Speaker 1 one-on-one situation, but like he's got to be top three in terms of you need a basket. Just let Kyrie do whatever he's got to do and he'll get it.

Speaker 3 I think, yeah, I don't know if he'd be number one, but he'd definitely be number one in terms of guy that I like to watch play basketball with the ball in his hands one-on-one at the end of the game.

Speaker 1 And they were actually playing decent defense.

Speaker 3 He's just so good. You know what he's really good at? And

Speaker 3 I know that Steph Curry did this a few times, but I think Kyrie's better. The pretending to pick up your dribble move.
yeah, and you have to watch Kyrie in

Speaker 3 slow-mo to watch every time that he does it because he does like nine different moves every time you think he's doing one move, right?

Speaker 3 But he'll pick that hand up and put it next to the ball and take it away so fast that it just gets a defender to just make one small move, hesitate for a second, come up to try to block a shot or get in his way, and then he's passed you.

Speaker 3 But he does that, it's so smooth and so fun to watch, yeah, especially when he like does three between the legs, two behind the back, spin move, floater in the lane with his left hand. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's poetry. It's incredible.
And I, so

Speaker 1 I'm going to let the Thunder maybe win me back because they are so young and so fun to watch. But that pissed me off.
You're the one seed. You're a good basketball team.

Speaker 1 You're a really good basketball team.

Speaker 3 They thought they had something.

Speaker 1 I just,

Speaker 1 it just ruins the flow of the game.

Speaker 1 And Derek Lively proved that he was up for it.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so what's his free throw percentage normally?

Speaker 1 Let's find it.

Speaker 3 He said it's 8 for 12, right? But

Speaker 1 you know it's some nerd. I bet you the guys on the thunder are like, this is bullshit.
We don't want to do this.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's a nerd. There's a nerd.
It's a nerd.

Speaker 3 We have a nerd in the building in Oklahoma City.

Speaker 1 Right, and he's got too much power. So we've got to figure out how to get this nerd out of here.

Speaker 1 All right, Derek Lively. And this is taking a lot for me to defend a Duke player like this.

Speaker 1 He's

Speaker 1 50.6% in his career from free throw.

Speaker 3 But he is also, again, watching him, especially on the defensive end, he's a fun player. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, the Mavs are, they look good. They look good.
Not scared. They're number four on Hank's scared of teams.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. Hank, would you like to talk about your game? Yes, I'd love to.
Feels like Jason Tatum listened to everyone.

Speaker 1 And by the way, we weren't the only ones have I think actually we were probably the nicest of the things that were said about Jason Tatum because there was a lot of people who were like he's just flat out not the guy.

Speaker 5 Yeah, haters.

Speaker 1 If you remember, our answer to the question was, yeah.

Speaker 1 And he was awesome on Saturday night.

Speaker 5 Yeah, he's playing super aggressive. Wasn't really hitting his threes, but still driving to the hoop.
Got 30 points the hard way.

Speaker 1 Also, he's an incredible rebounder. He doesn't get enough credit for that.
And they need that with Chris Stopps out.

Speaker 5 And he's an incredible playmaker. He gets double, triple teamed every time.
He's good at

Speaker 5 getting the rock to his teammates. Great Drew Holiday game.
First time I feel like he really showed up big in the playoffs.

Speaker 5 And you can definitely notice how different the defense is without Porzingis. Getting him back.
They're going to need him back fully healthy.

Speaker 3 He could be back next game, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're at this several.

Speaker 5 Yeah, they should save him until next series. Like, it's not

Speaker 5 necessary, but

Speaker 5 in the beginning of the game, when Horford's the biggest guy in the lineup, it's just a different defense.

Speaker 3 So, what if the Cavs win the next one? At that point, are you like, get Christophs back?

Speaker 5 Yeah, you might start having those conversations.

Speaker 3 You might start having those conversations.

Speaker 5 If he's fully healthy.

Speaker 1 You might.

Speaker 5 The proverbial you.

Speaker 1 You. We.

Speaker 1 Yes. yes okay i have a question for you about the celtics are the celtics uh

Speaker 1 going to go an entire playoff let's say they go to the finals i think they'll be in the finals we don't know what's going to happen in the finals but will they be the first team to ever uh get to the finals without playing a single memorable playoff game

Speaker 1 It's crazy. Every game is either they kick the shit out of the opponent and their two losses are they got the shit kicked out of them.
They haven't played in one

Speaker 1 like big fourth quarter moment yet. And that's not a knock on them because they're really, really good.
I saw a stat. They had a 20-point lead in 52% of their games this year.

Speaker 1 So it's not like it's not their fault that they're just better than everyone,

Speaker 1 especially in the East. But isn't it crazy? Like they haven't had, I know you're watching it differently, but

Speaker 1 every single game they've played so far in the playoffs have just been laughers one way or the other.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's only two losses, but that's just what it's been.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I feel like there's probably like a Warriors,

Speaker 5 maybe the Warriors runs, but even the losses were probably closer because that's been the two weird things.

Speaker 1 We had lost

Speaker 1 all outs.

Speaker 5 Right. It's not even dominated every other game.

Speaker 3 Right. So, Piquette, I have a question for you.
Yeah. If you were a Celtics fan, actually, Max, I have a question for you.
Oh, yeah, Boston. Massachusetts? Max.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 3 As a Celtics fan, would you be concerned at all going into the finals if you haven't played any close games because you don't know how to win close games?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 You want me to apologize for beating the shit out of teams? Oh, Max.

Speaker 3 Or getting the shit kicked out of you by teams.

Speaker 1 That's fine. You want me to apologize for winning? People lose games.
Teams lose games.

Speaker 1 I'll let the West go go battle it out game by game. W we just keep winning over here in Boston.

Speaker 1 Fuck it.

Speaker 3 Max is really fucking good at being the Boston.

Speaker 1 He's really good. He's in Massachusetts.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no,

Speaker 1 it's not even a knock on the Celtics. They just haven't like there's been the the Knicks Sixers series was like every single game was a war.
Even the Knicks Pacers, obviously, today wasn't.

Speaker 1 But like, there's been some memorable games in these playoffs, and Celtics have just not been part of any of them.

Speaker 5 Because they're just so much better.

Speaker 1 They're so much better. Right, right.
It's not their fault. And the two losses are weird two losses where they got the shit kicked out of them.

Speaker 1 So you think that would you be, I guess it doesn't matter. But it's weird to think like they could get to the

Speaker 1 right.

Speaker 1 At all.

Speaker 5 It doesn't matter. And they'll smoke whoever wins the Knicks Pacers.

Speaker 3 Would you rather beat the Knicks or the Pacers?

Speaker 5 The Knicks.

Speaker 1 So you want the Knicks. You want New York.
Are you saying that because the Knicks have like two people left?

Speaker 5 No, I just love beating New York, Little Brother.

Speaker 5 Pacers, though, a little revenge for the

Speaker 1 in-season tournament. Yeah, who could forget?

Speaker 3 But if you played the Knicks, then you'd also get to do the double duty of after you beat them, be like, here come the excuses.

Speaker 3 You're already doing that ahead of time, where it's like, I want to play the Knicks because they will make excuses for not having any players, which, by the way, way, that's a legitimate excuse, I think, if you're the Knicks.

Speaker 3 If all of your players are injured, but then you get to play.

Speaker 5 But you just have a, it's like a car that he just doesn't change the oil. Like, you just, you just roll the tires out and he's rolling on the rims.
And he's like, all right, let's just keep going.

Speaker 5 I got another 20 miles in this thing.

Speaker 3 He wanted to keep his starters in in the fourth quarter, too. He felt like it tonight.

Speaker 5 Like, as long as I've known Big Cat was, you know, when Tibbs was the Bulls coach, and he has always said it,

Speaker 5 but he just runs people out.

Speaker 1 So this is the discussion now with the Knicks. And

Speaker 1 I don't know if you guys saw, but I weighed in in the fact that it's just,

Speaker 1 you can look at this however you want to look at it because Tibbs does run his guys very hard. I know that no Knicks, I think, were in the top 10 in minutes played this season.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 he maybe has figured it out a little bit.

Speaker 1 But they're gassed right now, and they're gassed because they have injuries, so it's like a chicken and an egg.

Speaker 1 I don't think that he specifically has caused this situation that the Knicks are in, where it's like Julius Randall hurt his shoulder on a, like, going like Jaime Hawke's play, which was weird.

Speaker 1 OG's always hurt, and he was traded halfway through the season, so he didn't even get the full Tibbs treatment.

Speaker 1 Brunson, you could say he was like 14th in minutes, and he has, he's clearly not 100%.

Speaker 1 He doesn't seem like he has the same burst in the last couple of games.

Speaker 3 But you have to play him.

Speaker 1 But you have to play him. And then Josh Hart, Hart, yeah, he's been played to death, and he looks gassed.
But again, he has no one else to play. So in a weird way, like, yes, Tibbs does do that.

Speaker 1 He plays his guys really hard, and he always is playing in the middle of February. He's like, you guys got to go as hard as possible.

Speaker 1 But I think this one situation, like, it's kind of just fluke injuries. And I don't know if you can blame him 100% for this one.

Speaker 3 Yeah, if it's a shoulder, you can't. Like, that stuff happens.

Speaker 1 People get hurt. I think Bogdan had a wrist already when he showed up.
So I don't know which.

Speaker 1 And then Mitchell Robinson is kind of injury prone, too. So I don't know.

Speaker 1 He does.

Speaker 1 It's crazy not to say, like, Knicks fans who would say, like, Tibbs is completely blameless in all of this. That's nuts.

Speaker 1 He does play his guys hard. I don't think that he caused these injuries this time.

Speaker 3 It was the Warriors, right? Where they had all those injuries in the NBA Finals that one year. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And Clay and Kevin Ray.

Speaker 3 Nobody was like Steve Kerr treats his guys like shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like those guys played a shitload of extra games every single year, and their summer didn't start for like an extra three months because they went to the finals.

Speaker 1 It sucks to watch the Knicks run out of gas.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Maybe the Mecha is the great equalizer because it does feel.

Speaker 1 What was that? Did you have your phone still open? Sorry.

Speaker 5 No, yeah. My bad.

Speaker 3 I just think it's funny that we have

Speaker 3 to pull up a random porn video and he went straight to Brazilian fart porn.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 We also should give credit to the Pacers because the Pacers played great. I mean, mean,

Speaker 1 that three on Friday night from Nemhart

Speaker 1 was incredible. That was a total don't shoot, don't shoot, don't shoot.
Holy fuck, he shot it and it went in.

Speaker 3 And the first quarter. That first quarter, you're right, probably doesn't happen at the mecca.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 3 But it happened.

Speaker 1 It happened today.

Speaker 3 And TJ McConnell, by the way,

Speaker 3 so fun to watch. Play him.

Speaker 3 I got a quote from, I think it's from Hart. He said, TJ McConnell is an annoying little shit.
Love it. But he said that in an endearing way.
way.

Speaker 3 He's like, I think that's how people talk about me, too.

Speaker 3 I love watching this guy play.

Speaker 3 He should make t-shirts with his face.

Speaker 3 Annoying little shit.

Speaker 1 It does feel like the Pacers are the worst team right now for the Knicks to just lose everyone because they push the pace. They're young.
and they do have depth.

Speaker 1 And so it's, I mean, they deserve a lot of credit. They could not miss today, and they held serve at home.
I don't think they've lost a home playoff game. So they're fun to watch.

Speaker 1 I mean, they're young and they're fun.

Speaker 1 like they score they score they score again they're playing good defense too again i don't know how much of that is the knicks just not having anybody to play basketball but they don't they traditionally don't play defense now they're playing a little and i think that jalen brunson is one of those guys that will just never admit that he's hurt even though he's clearly hurt yeah uh and it's he even said after the game um

Speaker 1 he asked if he has less burst and he said i'm fine i'm fine when you got to say i'm fine twice you're just the i'm fine dog in the burning house.

Speaker 3 This is fine.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but Jalen Brunson will never make an excuse. He just kept on saying that.
He's like, why would I say that we're shorthanded? We just lost.

Speaker 3 You know who really lost today? Actually, not the Knicks. It was Villanova.
Yeah. Villanova took a bad L today, all their guys.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Dante DiVincenzo was incredible on Friday night. Wasn't able to do it.
They look tired. They look very, very tired.

Speaker 1 And that is partially Tibbs. But again, I don't think the injuries were like...
I don't think you can point to all of them. And then people will bring up like Derek Rose.

Speaker 1 i got a bunch of those replies what i'm saying derrick rose was gonna get injured he shouldn't have been in the game that he got injured the first acl injury derrick rose was gonna like his body was not able to handle the nba like he a smaller guy playing he had ankle injuries before he got to the nba like it sucks it sucks that it that it happened that way but i don't think tibbs was the reason why derrick rose but had injuries counterpoints a fun narrative well he shouldn't have been in the game that's the that was the part it was against the sixers in that first round matchup and he was in the game we were up like 20 and it was like why are you in the game?

Speaker 1 But if you asked me, if he wasn't in the game that specific time, would Derrick Rose just never tear his ACL? I would probably say that's a far-fetched

Speaker 1 dream that you have.

Speaker 3 Yeah, if you dig into the numbers, there's definitely some loopholes. But I do like Hank simplifying it down to, it's a car, and he's not changing the oil.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, he coaches hard.
I'd rather have him as my coach than not. He's a fucking great coach, and he always has teams overachieving with guys

Speaker 1 that shouldn't be doing what they're doing. And that's kind of the story of this Knicks season.

Speaker 1 The only thing I'll say to Knicks fans I don't like is them using Julius Randle as like, if we had Julius Randle, they fucking killed that guy last year, and he sucked.

Speaker 1 But they like, remember they ripped down his poster and they were like, fuck him, get him out of here. He sucked in the playoffs.
Yeah, he's fake. And the fans are bad fans.

Speaker 1 But you, I don't think they're bad fans, but you can't say, like, oh, but if we had Julius Randle after last year, when you're like, get him off our team. They're fake fans.
No, they're not.

Speaker 1 They're not fake fans.

Speaker 5 They win one

Speaker 1 thing bomb. Maxi.

Speaker 1 They're not fake fans. I think Knicks fans are some of the best fans.

Speaker 3 Max, you think that this is like a badge of honor for the Sixers? Like you beat the Knicks up so bad that they're not even able to get to a next series?

Speaker 1 Well, you hurt Mitchell Row.

Speaker 1 I mean, he's just being a little bitch back here. He was like, oh, Julius Randall was hurt last year, so that's why.

Speaker 3 He was playing the entire playoffs last year.

Speaker 1 But you hated him.

Speaker 3 No, but nobody knew that he was hurt. He was playing hurt, and then everybody's like, oh, that's our guy.

Speaker 1 Okay, fine. That's a fair fair retort.

Speaker 1 Yeah, did they put the poster back up? Yeah, no, Julius Randle's fine.

Speaker 1 Julius Randle fucking blows.

Speaker 1 You eat a beef lunch.

Speaker 1 Julius Randle's face. Oh, but we're giving excuses to people who are playing hurt.

Speaker 3 We're not giving excuses. I love this.
We're saying that people found out that he was hurt.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's fair. That's fair.

Speaker 1 That's a fair response. I knew he was hurt.

Speaker 3 Did you like to tell everybody that he's hurt? That's true. I love Max and Memes going, this is what to expect on April Fool's Day and part of my take next year.
Max and Memes podcast.

Speaker 1 Memes,

Speaker 1 you do realize from the outside looking in, it's like

Speaker 1 no fan base was meaner than they were to Julius Randall last year. And then to be like, well, if we had Julius Randall.

Speaker 3 Yeah, no, everybody was mean.

Speaker 1 Very mean.

Speaker 3 And then they found out that he was hurt and they were like,

Speaker 1 did anyone issue like a My Bad?

Speaker 3 Full page ad, maybe? Yeah.

Speaker 1 No. Was there like a whoops? We saw on it just

Speaker 1 next season. Act like it didn't happen.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 You think he forgets that that happened?

Speaker 1 No, definitely not, but just throw some dirt on it. There's like a story of his wife watching them rip down his statue or his poster.

Speaker 3 Somebody, there should be one guy. Spike Lee should apologize to him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we need someone to apologize just so that everyone else can move on.

Speaker 3 Because I guarantee you he has not moved on.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 In the back of his head.

Speaker 3 He's probably faking this playoff so that he doesn't give you little shits any more joy in your life.

Speaker 1 True.

Speaker 1 Memes?

Speaker 1 No, he was doing so good before he got hurt, too. Yeah, because he wanted to break your hole.
He was, but then

Speaker 3 he's not playoffs. He wanted to give you all the hope because you treated him so badly last year.
No, he's fine. He loves New York.

Speaker 1 So we got, I don't know, there's going to be, I mean, Hank calling Knicks fans fake fans.

Speaker 3 Fake fans? No, they're. Say what you want about Knicks fans, but they're legit fans.
They don't abandon the team in years of sadness.

Speaker 1 The Mecca still sells out when they sucked. I think Hank's just looking at Rico and just being like, that's all Knicks fans are.

Speaker 1 He's a fan of himself. No,

Speaker 5 Rico's a real Knicks fan.

Speaker 1 He's the only one.

Speaker 5 But there's plenty of people that just hop on. We're in the playoffs.

Speaker 1 Well, every team that does well has a bandwagon. That's the

Speaker 1 sports.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I think it's more than...

Speaker 5 I've been to the Mecca for Celtics games when the Knicks sucked and it was like 50% Celtics fans.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 I think New York is like a true, true basketball city. So when they're good, you obviously see it more boisterous, but like, those are those are real basketball fans.

Speaker 5 Yeah, maybe it's not real Nick fans.

Speaker 1 Got it.

Speaker 3 I love it. We're going to get.
I hope we. It's probably not going to happen, but I want Nick Celtics just to see how much Hank pisses off the players.

Speaker 3 It's good. It's what he does best.

Speaker 1 Get it going.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Should we talk some hockey? Hank,

Speaker 1 the Bruins have just gotten beat up

Speaker 1 with some some cheap shots. A lot of cheap shots.

Speaker 1 That star players. That one.
Nat HL isn't doing anything.

Speaker 1 But we got to give credit to who's the guy who cheap shot it. No, no, Marsha.
I will not say that. That is Bennett.
No, no, no. Here's why I got to give credit.

Speaker 1 It took like 17 slow-mo, like, alternate angle shots for people to fully see the fact that he punched Marshawn. He did a really good job with it.

Speaker 3 It was a great cheap shot to the point we had to wait for the alternate angle to come out, which was, I think, the next day yeah we didn't get the actual angle of him throwing the punch until later all we saw was the glove kind of emerging from behind his body so if he fooled high definition like 75 inch plasma TVs he definitely fooled the refs that were watching that happen in real time so he got away with it he definitely punched me in the face now there were a lot of people that were throwing around uh retaliatory clips response clips online to all the cell all the Bruins fans that were complaining that showed Marshawn punching people in the face with a gloved hand from earlier in the series.

Speaker 3 So it's like, I think Marshan would probably do something like this too, but he was just on.

Speaker 3 There was also another hit that he had at the end of the game where Marshan dove headfirst into somebody else's head and they made head-to-head contact, which also might have been the reason why he was out today with a concussion.

Speaker 3 So it might not have been from that cheap shot, although he was definitely concussed, but they brought him back in the game afterwards.

Speaker 5 Yeah, absolute cheap shot. And then

Speaker 1 I mean, but you have to admit, I agree, it was a cheap shot.

Speaker 1 He sucker punched him. But in terms of cheap shots, he did such a good job of hiding the sucker punch that we weren't able to figure it out for a while.

Speaker 5 I don't know.

Speaker 5 Something's fishy with the NHL and this Panthers team. I can't put my finger on it.
I don't understand why.

Speaker 5 But that happened, and it's like, you know, why does it take the next day for the cam Wrangle to come out? Because it existed.

Speaker 5 They probably had it. Toronto probably had it in real time.
They didn't suspend him, which is crazy. And then today, same guy

Speaker 5 cross-checked Charlie Coyle into Swayman so he couldn't, you know, block the shot and then hit a goal in. Clear as day, goalie interference.
I'm not, you know, a hockey head, but

Speaker 5 he cross-checked a guy

Speaker 5 into the goalie, which interfered from the goalie being able to save the goal, and they didn't call it.

Speaker 5 And then the Bruins challenged it.

Speaker 5 lost the challenge, so they came back on a power play, and it was like the Bruins didn't have a shot for the next seven minutes, minutes, it felt like.

Speaker 1 I didn't watch the game on Friday night. I just saw a bunch of people tweeting from our own company being like, Why is the crowd so silent?

Speaker 5 That was one or two tweets. I mean,

Speaker 5 it's the lulz of a hockey game. Bad sports, though?

Speaker 1 I was just asking. Again, I did not watch the game, so I have no idea.
It was rocking today. It was fake fans today.

Speaker 5 It was rocking a day.

Speaker 3 Yeah, in the playoffs, they get a bunch of fake fans, bandwagoners who come in, don't know when to cheer. You don't see them throughout the regular season.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I'm a fake Bruins fan.

Speaker 5 I have no problem saying that. But

Speaker 5 the people that are fans of the Bruins and go to the games are diehards.

Speaker 5 Probably more than any other sport in Boston. Like, there's, you know, the percentage of

Speaker 5 fake fans versus diehards. And like, Bruins, true Bruins fans are eat, live, breathe, die.

Speaker 3 Would you say that that hit was... Would you say it's a dirty play?

Speaker 1 The sucker punch? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah. That's interesting because your own coach said that it wasn't dirty.
Oh. He said it was outside the lines, but it wasn't dirty.

Speaker 1 Outside the lines? Yeah.

Speaker 3 But not dirty. But not dirty.
Wait, so. I don't know what the difference is.

Speaker 1 So there's inside the lines play.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's normal hockey play.

Speaker 1 Normal hockey play.

Speaker 3 Good hockey play is what they say.

Speaker 1 There's outside the lines.

Speaker 1 Then there's dirty.

Speaker 3 Then there's dirty afterwards.

Speaker 1 And then is there anything after that? Scumbag?

Speaker 3 I think after that, maybe scumbag movie. Dangerous.
Cheap shot. Assault.

Speaker 3 Yeah, a horrifying act of violence would be next up after that.

Speaker 1 So, oh, wow. So this is kind of a loophole.
Like this is the new, this is the new money ball for hockey. We need to build a hockey team that knows how to play outside the lines, but never dirty.

Speaker 3 But not dirty. Yeah, just up to that line.
Wow. You want to go right up to the line of playing outside the line.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Does that make sense?

Speaker 1 We should actually do some research on this and we should try some outside the lines plays on Hank, but never get dirty. Not dirty.
We won't get dirty. And just see what happens.

Speaker 1 Yeah, see what happens. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 So, yeah, you say, see what happens, which is essentially the Bruins' response after that alleged cheap shot that was outside the lines.

Speaker 3 And then nothing really happened. No one really took a run at him.

Speaker 5 There was some scuffling. I mean, what are you supposed to do? You're down in the series.

Speaker 5 You can't just be giving up penalty minutes. They did take a couple penalties that were clearly just like rage hits, essentially.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that one in the year period rocked. I love Pat Maroon, by the way.

Speaker 5 But they're down in the series. They've got a scratch and claw for everything they get.
The NHL is trying to rig a Panthers Rangers Eastern Conference Finals.

Speaker 3 They'd much rather have that than Bruins Rangers, yeah.

Speaker 1 It's sad. What is that?

Speaker 1 What are they rigging that for?

Speaker 5 Anti-original. I'm trying to figure out what they're saying.

Speaker 1 Anti-original six bias. They wanted Hurricanes Panthers.

Speaker 5 No,

Speaker 5 they want Panthers Rangers.

Speaker 1 Okay. But the Hurricanes won this weekend.
So maybe they want Hurricanes Panthers? They got to get Samuel Sales.

Speaker 3 Yeah, they want Hurricane traditional hockey towns. Right.

Speaker 1 Raleigh. Now, speaking of that series.

Speaker 5 Rangers fans are legit. The Mecca, the Rangers games are

Speaker 1 memes.

Speaker 1 Memes.

Speaker 1 You were out on a bachelor party this weekend, so you were not here on Thursday night.

Speaker 1 But one underrated part of this show is Memes' hatred for Rangers fans is actually maybe stronger than his love for any of his own teams. So where are you right now? Because they look awesome.

Speaker 1 I know they lost in overtime.

Speaker 1 Was it overtime? Yeah. Overtime on Saturday.
Where are you?

Speaker 1 I'm at the point,

Speaker 1 I said the Hurricanes wereted. It wasn't overtime, I don't think.
No, it wasn't. It was

Speaker 1 one power play goal. With like three minutes left, yes.
I was watching and I forgot it. Yeah, the Rangers are really good, but the Hurricanes goalie is playing absolutely dog shit this entire series.

Speaker 1 So it's like one of those, you know.

Speaker 3 The Rangers are definitely good. I don't think they're.

Speaker 1 So you're not worried?

Speaker 1 I'll be worried if it's like... the rangers are very good 2-0 against the panthers next series that's worry worry level maximum and and what if

Speaker 1 the home ice advantage for them though is yeah what if the rangers have the best best left in the playoffs yeah what if the well yeah especially since uh the coliseum's gone

Speaker 1 wait say that again you heard what i said

Speaker 1 Hank said the Rangers have the best home ice advantage. I said, especially since the Coliseum's gone and you sold out.

Speaker 3 No,

Speaker 3 the Canucks is probably up there.

Speaker 1 Okay, so, but

Speaker 1 what are you going to do if the Rangers win the cup? They're not going to win the Cup. Okay.

Speaker 1 I want him there. That's a great place for us to have him.
He was at the parade. I want him there.

Speaker 1 No, I'm saying I want him in a spot where he's basically saying to himself, there's 0% chance they can win the cup.

Speaker 1 How could you say a team that's up 3-1 in the second round has a 0% chance to win the cup? They've got one of the best.

Speaker 5 They're going to be at the parade if they win. Yes.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you have to cover that. One of the best goaltenders.
They've got...

Speaker 1 Probably their best goaltender ever. Oh,

Speaker 1 I like that.

Speaker 3 Sir the pot.

Speaker 1 Okay, wait, so memes, why do you hate Rangers fans so much? They're just the worst. They're just the same as Yankee fans.
You know, they just think they're the best of all time.

Speaker 1 They've won one Stanley Cup in like the last hundred years, and they just think they're the fucking shit. But they have won a Stanley Cup more recently than the Islanders.
Yeah, who cares?

Speaker 1 One, four in a row.

Speaker 3 I also love the idea of memes walking past MSG and looking at it and one night being like, this is the best place on earth. And the next night he walks past.

Speaker 1 He's like, yeah, I fucking hate this place.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's a basketball stadium. Yeah.
It's basketball.

Speaker 3 It's a Billy Joel stadium. Yeah.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 Billy Joel and Knicks.

Speaker 1 I fucking hate the Rangers. Everybody on the Bachelor Party was a Rangers fan, so like they, every, they were just all celebrating.
I was like, this sucks.

Speaker 1 Sounds like fun. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 The stars look good. And then now the shocker of the play we're watching with, what, eight minutes left, the Oilers look like they might lose this game

Speaker 1 4-2.

Speaker 1 There have been Canucks are just going to be painful. Are the Canucks a team of Destiny?

Speaker 3 So many close goals here.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 3 Would we consider them Team of Destiny right now?

Speaker 1 The way Biz described them

Speaker 1 last week when he was on was like, no one expected him to be here. They won a very tough division.
And

Speaker 1 everyone's like, nice story, but they're not going to win it all. I think they might be Team of Destiny.

Speaker 3 I do love their home crowd, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and

Speaker 1 the Canucks have one of the scariest propositions in all of sports: that if

Speaker 1 they get to the final and don't win the cup, they'll just burn their whole city down. That's true.
They've done it multiple times.

Speaker 3 Yeah, they love to tear that. Also, I was going to say, if they don't win the cup, then they know that they're not going to get another chance at it for like 15 years.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Like Edmonton, if they lose in the Stanley Cup this year, they're going to be like, this fucking blows. But we've got McDavid.
We'll be back. Good young players.

Speaker 1 If the Oilers lose this round, that would be a big disappointment. Yeah.
Big disappointment.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so it looks like the Canucks might win this game.

Speaker 1 We'll update it as we go along in the show.

Speaker 3 Hank, do you think there's any chance that the NHL leadership in Toronto is fucking the Bruins because you guys beat the Maple Leafs every year in the playoffs?

Speaker 5 Potentially.

Speaker 3 Look into that.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I could see that. Also, if that were the

Speaker 3 just have Toronto beat you guys in the playoffs every now and again.

Speaker 3 I'm trying to help you out. I'm trying to connect some dots for you.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I mean, the NHL, if they were smart, if they were like the NBA, they would have had a Canadian Stanley Cup final at this point.

Speaker 3 I just want one team to be able to

Speaker 3 get it.

Speaker 1 It has to have a lot of people. I want to believe from Canada.
It would be the greatest.

Speaker 5 It would be the greatest.

Speaker 5 It's such a fun series.

Speaker 3 It doesn't matter what two teams. Yeah, right now, I don't care who wins, but

Speaker 3 it would be nice to have a Canadian team in the Stanley Cup final this year.

Speaker 1 Yeah, when's the last, oh, I guess the 1990. No, no, last in it.

Speaker 3 Last in it. The Canadiens, right?

Speaker 1 Weren't they in the bubble?

Speaker 1 Didn't they lose to,

Speaker 1 I want to say the bubble. I want to say they lost to this is going to test our hockey knowledge.
Memes, you want to help me out here? No?

Speaker 1 Want to help me, memes? Lightning? I think they lost the Lightning, right? Yep. In 2021?

Speaker 1 Maybe it was the year after the bubble. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Bubble year.

Speaker 3 It was a very forgettable one because the Lightning smoked them.

Speaker 1 and I feel like there were no fans, so that was also like hockey with no fans might be.

Speaker 1 We got over football with no fans just because it's still football, but hockey with no fans feels so weird.

Speaker 3 Wait, it was the lightning and the Canadians, they're both in the east, right?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But wasn't it the wasn't there?

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, but I think they did a weird bubble thing, right?

Speaker 3 Those are two Eastern teams. I know that is

Speaker 3 all right, we got to figure this out because they just you think they just took away divisions because of I don't, I can't remember.

Speaker 1 Memes just looking it up stanley cup finals

Speaker 1 we need a goal here we need a goal here this is bad all right here we go boys i'm gonna find this i'm gonna find this

Speaker 1 uh someone say something yeah i i remember it was weird they yeah because they did the pods remember they did the pods yeah there was that weird system they had to like finish out the yeah it was just because of the canadian the canadian teams had like a different yeah

Speaker 1 oh yeah because they had different covet restrictions, so they had to play in their own pods and then come.

Speaker 1 That's right. That's a weird, that's a

Speaker 1 question you'll get wrong in trivia.

Speaker 3 God damn, that would have been so awesome, though, if they had won the bubble championship through the Canadian pod, and then everybody would be like, Yeah, Canada won it, but it's really Mickey Mouse.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 and then, yeah, the Canucks when they burned the city down when they lost to the Bruins. I'm looking right now, the Senators played the Ducks in 2007,

Speaker 1 and the Oilers lost to the Hurricanes in 06. Yeah, fucking, someone's got to win one from Canada.

Speaker 1 What's the problem, Hank?

Speaker 5 Mrs. Ice.

Speaker 1 Oh, Mrs. Ice, I know.
I need a goal, too.

Speaker 3 They've had like five

Speaker 5 shots that should have been goals.

Speaker 1 There's 40 shots. Mrs.
Ice can't lose.

Speaker 1 Although it would be lost. Not on Mother's Day.
Yeah, but it would also be perfect.

Speaker 3 They're meant for each other. Mrs.
Ice lost on Mother's Day.

Speaker 1 Oh, by the way, I feel like we're getting a goal.

Speaker 3 We have to. We have to.

Speaker 1 It's Mrs. Ice.
She can't lose this. this.

Speaker 1 Okay. Let's do.
Can we get Ernestine off the TV?

Speaker 1 She's been staring at her. She's an industry plan.

Speaker 1 It's not real. Put Damp Lips back up.

Speaker 3 No, these are just more pictures of Ernestine.

Speaker 1 What are you doing, Max? Stop.

Speaker 1 I thought you wanted more. I thought he wanted more.
Put Sidney Sweeney up. Remember that time you just started searching for her?

Speaker 1 I wasn't searching for her. I was looking at things that were trending.

Speaker 1 You're bored.

Speaker 1 Okay. Let's do Who's Back of the Week.

Speaker 3 Hey, it's PFT here, reminding you that Boarshead makes game day entertaining elevated and effortless.

Speaker 3 Whether you order catering platters ahead from your local Boarshead retailer, or you create your own spread at home with Boarshead premium deli meats and cheeses, you are sure to impress your guests.

Speaker 3 My favorites like oven gold turkey or blazing buffalo-style chicken, paired with their classic Vermont cheddar or creamy Munster cheese, are sure to score big and help me elevate my entertainment every time, whether it's for a tailgate or a home gating celebration.

Speaker 3 Seriously, guys, it's a game-changing flavor for every gathering. Boarshead, committed to craft since 1905.

Speaker 1 Max, what did you do now?

Speaker 1 This is just something else that people are talking about.

Speaker 3 This is a who's back of the week, also.

Speaker 5 This is what is it?

Speaker 5 Somebody of the week.

Speaker 1 Somebody's who's back?

Speaker 3 No, but we can talk about it. Is this your who's back, Max?

Speaker 1 Yeah, Max. Your who's back is the sitting up meme? No, it's Roaring Kitty.
Roaring Kitty.

Speaker 1 Who is that? That's Roaring Kitty.

Speaker 1 That's the GameStop guy. Oh, he's tweeting.

Speaker 3 He's deep fucking value. He's the guy that wore the red bandana.
You remember the movie Dumb Money?

Speaker 1 Yes. That was

Speaker 1 in it. Yeah, first tweet since 2021.

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 3 Dumb Money and the Patriots documentary. Two instances in the last three months where I've watched something on TV and I'm just taking a break from work for a little bit.

Speaker 3 And then Dave Portnoy's face comes up.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Pops up.

Speaker 3 And Johnny Manzel. Yep.
True. So, yeah, he's back online now.

Speaker 3 Some weird shit's about to go down.

Speaker 1 I want in this time.

Speaker 3 Yeah, what's he telling people to buy?

Speaker 1 I'll buy it.

Speaker 1 There's no context or anything. It's just this meme so no one really knows

Speaker 1 i'm gonna retweet it yeah

Speaker 1 i'm gonna buy it and then i'm gonna hold it i'm gonna retreat it with the eyeballs i might even start holding it before i buy it so this guy is the guy who did the game stop stuff yeah which i i've never had more fomo because i i i'm just convinced as a lifelong loser if i don't get it like the minute it happens i'm the guy who's going to jump on and then lose everything but i sat and watched for weeks where it just kept on going up up i was like god damn it is that back up i don't know because i still have some

Speaker 1 i really i really really want to be in on this one i really really want to nail this yeah so just oh no that looks like it's still down yeah that's still down okay okay but we're back stonks so i'm putting on alerts for roaring kitty who's back stonks he's gonna tell us what to do Does he just say what to do and then we all is this like the tunnel of chaos?

Speaker 3 He says

Speaker 3 I like the stock. Like, could I if he likes the stock, then it's good stock.

Speaker 1 Could I DM Roaring Kitty right now and be like, hey, Mr. Roaring Kitty, I'd like to win 20,000.

Speaker 1 Done. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I'll make it happen. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Okay, we're back. Get him on the show.
We got to all get in.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I got to talk to my guy and get more information.

Speaker 3 But do you just mean Jack Mac?

Speaker 1 Greer. Okay.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 We got our top guys on it, top minds on it.

Speaker 3 Roaring Kitty, come on part of my take.

Speaker 1 Yeah, please. Hank, who's your who's back? My who's back of the week is Rory.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 What'd he do?

Speaker 5 He dominated Quail Hollow, won the

Speaker 5 Wells Fargo. Wells Fargo.
Shout out, Jake.

Speaker 1 Did a great job.

Speaker 5 Jake Marsh was on the call. Max played well, finished eighth, had an eagle in the first hole.
Jake called it. That was a great moment.
Yeah. Touching stuff.

Speaker 1 Jake doing bing-bong maxi for Max Homo was awesome. Yep.
Yeah. It was great.

Speaker 5 But Rory, I feel like he's the king of winning the championship right before major. Then everyone talks about him.
It's a major week. Rory.

Speaker 5 He's going to win a major, and then he misses the cut.

Speaker 3 So, who's back? Rory

Speaker 3 fooling us about him being back.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Scotty Shefford still hasn't had his baby.

Speaker 5 He has had his baby.

Speaker 1 Scotty Shefford's had his baby.

Speaker 3 Congratulations. He had his baby right before Mother's Day?

Speaker 5 I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure there was.
It was.

Speaker 5 I saw a tweet that was like,

Speaker 5 it's not out there official, but he's on the.

Speaker 3 Or did you just violate HIPAA?

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 5 he's doing media stuff at Valhalla. With his baby? No, but

Speaker 5 I'm pretty sure it's confirmed.

Speaker 1 Following birth of child. All right, congratulations.
When did that baby happen?

Speaker 1 Eric shared the news Saturday afternoon, so he just had his baby.

Speaker 5 Congratulations. Yeah, this is nothing beneficial at all.

Speaker 1 I saw it. Okay, so congratulations on the baby.
Yeah, he's going to.

Speaker 1 I mean, my son turned one today. That was Mother's Day.
Sucks. I have the same thing with my first son.

Speaker 1 Two years ago was Father's Day. Sucks.
You just get robbed of your day.

Speaker 3 Swaggerjacked.

Speaker 1 Big time. By a baby.
By a fucking baby.

Speaker 3 Charlotte the Stingray still has not given birth.

Speaker 1 My kids did not, my older kids did not understand the concept that the presents were not for them. They're like, but the baby can't open the presents.

Speaker 1 And they had a good point. Yeah.
Because

Speaker 1 I sat him on the present and I tried to show him how to rip the wrapping paper. Didn't do anything.
And then my other two kids were like, see, we told you. And then they opened all his presents.

Speaker 3 Your daughter's like, is this Chuck E.

Speaker 1 Cheese?

Speaker 1 It was a masterclass by them. They dominated me on that.

Speaker 3 I've never understood that meme with the guy that's like holding out his hand for the butterfly, and he says, is this something? Yeah, I'm talking about?

Speaker 3 But it seems like that's your daughter with everybody. Is this Chuck Es?

Speaker 1 Is this Chuck Espae? Did you see an update on Chuck E. Cheese? They're getting rid of the original Chuck E.
Cheese mascot in almost all their locations. What? Yeah.
What? The scary one.

Speaker 1 Oh, the super scary rat. Yeah, the rat.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, I think they're just phasing it out. Maybe sign that.
They're going out of business, that I got to get there and do my part and keep Chucky Cheese. I might hold Chuck E.
Cheese. Look at this.

Speaker 1 Chuck E. Cheese animatronic band will be phased out by the end of this year.
It is scary.

Speaker 3 You know what this means, though? This means that they're going to have to get rid of the actual mascot, meaning there are going to be hundreds of these animatronic

Speaker 3 scary mascots to purchase. We got to buy one.
We have to buy one.

Speaker 1 We need one of these.

Speaker 3 Yeah, we need one of the Charles Entertainment Cheese mascots.

Speaker 1 I will get back in my auction phase.

Speaker 1 I had one briefly where I was just trying to buy stuff when Dominic's an old grocery store in Chicago was going out of business, business, trying to buy like carts and stuff.

Speaker 1 This, this, we got to get this. If someone wants to gift us one, great.
Otherwise, we'll do it the old-fashioned way and we'll figure out a way to get it. We need one in the office.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 We need one when you walk in the office because then it's Chuck E.

Speaker 3 Cheese. I can tell myself.

Speaker 1 Then you can tell yourself.

Speaker 1 Every fucking time we come here. We come here almost every week.

Speaker 3 It's Chuck E. Cheese.
That's a problem solved right there.

Speaker 1 Yep. All right.

Speaker 1 Woji, who's back?

Speaker 1 Oh, Rory. That was like one of those always sunny skits where we zoom out and we're like, oh, Hank, you're still here.

Speaker 3 Rory's back. He won the Wells Fargo.
Jake, Max, Scotty Schoffler. Scotty Scheffler.

Speaker 5 Scotty Scheffler won his last start before PGA championship. Rory won his last start.
Brooks won his last start.

Speaker 1 Oh, the big three.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 Storyline. To bet it.

Speaker 3 And where is the PGA?

Speaker 1 Valhalla.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 3 Love it.

Speaker 1 Let's get some fucking wagers going.

Speaker 1 I don't know. What?

Speaker 5 I was thinking about reloading on on the live thing, but probably not.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you got to take the baby bump, right?

Speaker 3 You're going to feel like an idiot if you bet against Scotty.

Speaker 1 Oh, my. Oh, my God.
They missed an open netter.

Speaker 3 Mrs. Ice.

Speaker 1 This is the worst. Mrs.

Speaker 5 Ice has two minutes for glory.

Speaker 3 On Mother's Day. Is Mrs.
Ice watching intently on a laptop? It has to be.

Speaker 1 It has to be. It has to be.
She rips her shirt off afterwards. All right, so who's your pick to win? Brooks.
Okay. Smart.
Good man.

Speaker 1 We'll do some golf stuff this week. We'll figure out.

Speaker 1 We'll get some.

Speaker 1 I kind of like that they got the PGA championship earlier, but it always does sneak up on me. Because remember how it used to be PGA Championship was last and no one would care.

Speaker 1 And they're like, fuck it, we're going to hop the line. Oh,

Speaker 1 Mrs. Ice.

Speaker 3 That's a good goal.

Speaker 1 Mrs. Ice, she did it.
Let's go. Mrs.
Ice, what a fucking goal.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 3 PFT, your who's who's back uh my who's back of the week is horse racing oh because it is preakness week where we'll have randy on we're gonna have randy on mystic dang going for the second leg of it and we talked a little bit about secretariat on friday's show yeah and about how jason kelsey thinks well he's retracted his this horse did steroids take and then horse people went after him on friday i had a little bit of time on my hands so i got on a flight i was on my way to new york and i just thought let me just do some research about uh good old secretariat or good Friend Secretary see if these claims against him have any merit to them

Speaker 3 a couple things secretary when horses when they're elite like Secretariat they typically go on to have fruitful children right yeah right their cum is worth millions of dollars yeah secretariat had 663

Speaker 3 children. I don't know what you call them.
He had 663 ponies.

Speaker 1 That's a fucking lot of child support.

Speaker 3 Well, no, he's actually deadbeat dad. Okay.
And one of his daughters was just found in the woods somewhere, and they had to rescue her. And then now she's still alive.
Jesus Christ.

Speaker 3 And she's almost dead, but she got rescued, and she had to be adopted by a foster agency because Secretary is such a piece of shit. Anyways, he had 663 children.

Speaker 3 Guess how many of his kids won a triple crown race? Out of 663.

Speaker 3 And he was probably being bred to the fastest.

Speaker 1 I don't want to say zero to ruin this for you. I want to say five.
Zero. Ah.

Speaker 1 The answer is

Speaker 3 zero of them.

Speaker 1 Correct to me for not saying zero.

Speaker 3 Actually, that's wrong.

Speaker 1 Oh. One.
Okay. Whoa.
The answer is one. Whoa.
I said five.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you said five. One of them won two legs, not the Kentucky Derby, and then one came in second place in the Derby.
Got it. So his genes, not that strong.

Speaker 3 Some people will be like, oh, but down the line, if you follow the trail enough, then you'll see that his grandkids' grandkids won some derbies. Yeah, question, big cat.

Speaker 1 Question: Do the steroids that Secretary so clearly took during his horse racing time,

Speaker 1 do they carry in his semen?

Speaker 1 No. Oh, they don't.

Speaker 3 Isn't that interesting? Interesting. It's very interesting to me.

Speaker 3 He also, did you know that Secretariat, his legendary time at the Preakness, obviously the Belmont was the one that he won by 16 links. The race that he won at the Preakness,

Speaker 3 it's still, it's a track record, or it's one of the track records. It was at the time.

Speaker 3 It actually got lowered like 40 years after he ran in that race. They went back like seven years ago, and

Speaker 3 there was a secret committee that met in Maryland, went back and reduced his time by like a second and a half.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 They met in secret and they changed his times way after the fact. That's bullshit.

Speaker 1 And this is also part of what Jason Kelsey was saying: was like, we have gotten faster, bigger, stronger in everything, but not horse racing.

Speaker 3 Well, Jason Kelsey was talking about his heart mostly, his heart.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but but I was saying that part, too.

Speaker 3 I was making the point that every mile time has, like, mile times have gradually gotten better over the years. Yeah.
100-meter dashes. You know,

Speaker 1 he said something like this, too. Like, every sport has gotten better except horse racing.

Speaker 3 So, so I went back and I looked at the records, and yes, he still does hold that time at the Belmont, and he holds that time at the Kentucky Derby, and that's an anomaly in horse racing.

Speaker 3 Most of them have been improved upon since then. Right.

Speaker 3 Not Secretariat's time wow not secretariat's time he also this is the other thing about secretariat i found out that a bunch of people would buy winning tickets for secretariat like they would buy the they would bet on them and then they wouldn't cash in the ticket later because they wanted to have the ticket it was a bunch of darren revelles going out most of these ricky henderson ricky yeah essentially you remember when he got he got paid a million dollars for his first contract and framed it yep yep and uh he also lost a bunch of races This is what we don't talk about with Secretariat.

Speaker 3 We only talk about the wins with this fraud. He lost, I think, three or four times, and they had an excuse ready after every single loss.
One time, they were like, oh, he has an abscess in his mouth.

Speaker 3 He had herpes. He had horse herpes, and they blamed his loss on that.
One time he had uncontrollable diarrhea.

Speaker 3 Another time, they just tried to blame a horse for bumping him too hard and tried to get that horse disqualified. So there's a lot of stuff with Secretariat that the more we look at it,

Speaker 3 the more questions need to be asked about old Secretariat.

Speaker 1 Okay, so this is great because

Speaker 1 we can now say, I think we should, as a podcast, we should say say flightline is our goat so flightline is a horse that won the breeders cup uh two years ago uh i was at it flightline was injured as a three-year-old so wasn't able to race in kentucky derby

Speaker 1 he raced six times and he just killed everyone so he never lost never lost secretariat lost a bunch and also it's a great one because people will be like when when people ask us who our goat is the you know casual fans will say secretariat or maybe even american pharaoh will say someone who didn't even race in the Triple Crown flight line.

Speaker 1 He was an incredible horse.

Speaker 3 Or we could go like old school with it and say Man of War. Yeah.
Man of War is a great horse.

Speaker 3 And it's sad because Man of War is all his accomplishments are overshadowed by a horse that's having seconds taken off his time like 35, 40 years after he ran the fucking race. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I think we can all agree is bullshit. So

Speaker 3 again, I think Jason Kelsey was on the right track, and I can't wait to ask Randy Moss what his thoughts about Secretariat being a fraud were.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and we'll also, we got to use this as a way to get Jason Kelsey on, who has recently followed Max Delante.

Speaker 3 Nice work, Max.

Speaker 1 Play it cool. Play it, yeah.
It's not a big deal. Play it cool.

Speaker 3 Are you like second-guessing every time you send a tweet? Like, what if Jason sees this?

Speaker 1 Do you think he followed because of what we said? No, it was definitely not a sympathy follow. You think it was just he sure loves your vibe?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I will say this.

Speaker 1 Has nothing to do with this podcast?

Speaker 3 I'll say this about Max. Guys love Max.
Guys do love Max. Dudes are fucking in love with Max.

Speaker 1 And I fucking love dudes. One thing about Max, guys fucking love him.
I fucking love dudes. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, so I'm going with Flightline.

Speaker 1 I watched him at the Breeders' Cup Classic. He killed everyone like nine lengths.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Flightline's a good one.

Speaker 1 And that's the best horses in the world.

Speaker 3 Man of war, though.

Speaker 1 All right, well, we'll ask Randy. Okay.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 We'll say, who's your goat?

Speaker 1 I just like picking a horse that didn't race in the Triple Crowns because everyone's like, who's Flightline? Dude,

Speaker 3 you don't know. You're kidding me? You don't know horse.

Speaker 1 Also, selfishly, selfishly, I saw him in person and I was wowed.

Speaker 1 Okay, I like this. This is going to be great to have Randy on.
Yeah. And we should use this to try to get Jason Kelsey on.
Yep. And like, no podcast is defending you more than this.

Speaker 3 No, like, if the more you look into Secretariat, the more it stinks to high heaven.

Speaker 3 Also, at the time when he was winning all these races, people were writing about what a welcome escape this was to distract, literally in Sports Illustrated, which was a good magazine at the time, said, people are enthralled and we're so happy with Secretariat because he's distracting us from the vietnam war yeah and watergate it's a helen keller situation yeah was secretariat even real

Speaker 1 wait secretariat was mute

Speaker 1 no they're just yeah super human it's superhuman super human larger than life yeah the um this would be great story arc if we got jason kelsey we we did an investigation with him yeah and we ended up having to go to a farm and watch horses fuck and so we were sitting there watching p and v yeah yeah With a Kelsey.

Speaker 1 That would be really nice. That would be nice.
Let's just get, let's get this. Let's finish this story arc.
All right. That's a great who's back.

Speaker 1 All right. My who's back is a simple one.
It's the Detroit Pistons picking fifth in the draft. Yeah.
So we had the lottery on

Speaker 1 Sunday. Weird time for it or no? I think it was a weird time.
They usually used to do it like on a Tuesday night at halftime of one of the games.

Speaker 1 I think maybe because this draft doesn't really have anyone of note.

Speaker 1 Although I was talking to someone, they said that this draft doesn't have like, obviously, a Wembinyama or a Zion Williamson, but they're like, there's some really good players.

Speaker 1 It's just you're basically taking a guess one through 14. Like, one or two of these guys is going to end up being incredible, but they could be the 10th pick, not the first pick.

Speaker 3 It feels like the safe bets are guys like

Speaker 3 Klingen. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's a safe bet. You saw him working out.
Don't know if he's worked out in this office yesterday.

Speaker 3 Don't know if he's going to be a superstar, but he's probably going to be a good NBA player.

Speaker 3 And then that's pretty much the safest pick. And then

Speaker 3 Duke, the guard, shit. His name is Juan Fairfax.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 But the Pistons, I feel bad for Pistons fans. The Detroit Pistons.
Now, this draft is a weird draft.

Speaker 1 Like I said, like we said, there's not a Surefire franchise player, which makes it even funnier that the Hawks won it. That's very Atlanta sports to have a 3% chance to win this draft, and they did.

Speaker 1 Like, you used all your luck on this draft.

Speaker 1 But the Pistons, two years ago, the Pistons won 23 games. They were third worst in the league.
They got the fifth pick. Last year, the Pistons won 17 games, worse than the league, fifth pick.

Speaker 1 This year, they won 14 games, worse than the league, fifth pick. That's insane.
Yeah, it is crazy. That seems like a sick joke against the Pistons.

Speaker 3 I feel bad. But again, like you said, this draft is kind of a crap shooter.

Speaker 1 You could get a good player.

Speaker 3 You might end up getting one of the ones that develops into being a great player.

Speaker 1 But the fact that that's happened again, just, I mean, you should try winning more games?

Speaker 3 Yeah, try winning more games. Also, in DC sports, this is the third team that has the second overall pick.
Yeah, I saw that.

Speaker 1 I was rooting for you to get the first pick.

Speaker 3 Yeah, me too. Well, last year, it was like at the end, it became a coin flip between us and the Spurs because of the way the numbers shook out.
That would have been the nice one to get.

Speaker 3 But we've taken two LSU players.

Speaker 3 We took one baseball and then Jane Daniels, obviously, in football. I don't think there's anyone from LSU that's projected to go that high.
But fuck it. Let's just do it anyways.
Make it fun.

Speaker 1 By the way, talking baseball, Paul Skeens did make his debut against my Cubs. He was, I feel like he had the perfect

Speaker 1 awesome prospect debut where he pitched, I think it was like four innings, three earned runs, and seven strikeouts.

Speaker 1 I feel like

Speaker 1 that means he's going to be really good. Yeah.
The first two batters, you were like, oh, oh my God, this guy's going to be the best pitcher who ever played.

Speaker 1 And then it's like, all right, well, he's going to have to learn how to pitch.

Speaker 1 They're on a load management, but also he's going to have to learn how to be craftier. But holy shit, can he pitch?

Speaker 3 Are you saying that the Wizards should draft Livy Dunn?

Speaker 1 Yes. Yeah.
That would fit.

Speaker 1 A reporter did say that

Speaker 1 although Paul Skeens only lasted four innings, Livy Dunn whole game.

Speaker 3 Oh, she's like the whole game.

Speaker 1 Complete game. She's a complete sports down.
Yeah, complete game from Livvy Dunn.

Speaker 1 All right, let's get to our interviews. We've got great interviews.
We've got Julian Edelman and Blake Bortles, and then we'll finish with Embrace Debate and a Twist on the Lottery Ball Machine.

Speaker 6 Whether I'm hosting game day at at my place or taking my talents to the tailgate, Boarshead is my go-to for a spread that's as exciting as the game itself. Their platters are a hit every time.

Speaker 6 They've got everything you need to keep your guests coming back for more. And if you want to take it up a notch, grab a few dips.

Speaker 6 My personal favorite, the Blazing Buffalo Chicken, Hummus, or even one of their charcuterie collections for game-changing flavor.

Speaker 6 Boarshead helps me elevate my entertaining every time, whether it's for a tailgate or a home gating celebration.

Speaker 6 To upgrade your spread, visit your local Boarshead Deli for platter options or build your own to make it perfect for your crowd. Boarshead, committed to craft since 1905.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on our very good friend, recurring guest, very, very good friend, Julian Edelman.

Speaker 1 You're shaking. You're shaking.

Speaker 7 Yeah, because I'm trying to get, I have awkward arm angle and I'm using my phone and I'm watching game.

Speaker 7 I'm trying to navigate both.

Speaker 1 Just put it on the coffee table, put it, just rest it up against something on the coffee table. You probably got a

Speaker 7 balls because I'm wearing some really short shorts. Oh, there we go.

Speaker 1 All right, this is perfect. All right, so Jules is on.

Speaker 1 We should have had you on right after the roast. Obviously, you were partying after the roast, but we still wanted to have you on.

Speaker 1 We also needed to have you on because we need some tips on podcasting because

Speaker 1 you momentarily, for a day, took over the one spot and made everyone aware of it. So, congrats on that.

Speaker 7 Thank you. Thank you, guys.
You know, I just

Speaker 7 trying to follow in the founding fathers that, you know, helped me put me in this situation, you guys.

Speaker 7 I mean, you guys brought me on your show, and, you know, we're going to take that data and we're going to try to learn from it and make our show completely better every single day.

Speaker 7 You know, it's just a starting point.

Speaker 1 It's actually funny because I remember like three or four years ago, you're like, hey, can we get your entire subscribers list? And we gave it to you.

Speaker 1 Now it all makes sense that you just did it that way. No, but Games' name's awesome.
It's actually incredible what you've like grown it into because I watch it all the time.

Speaker 1 Like your Ernie Adams interview was incredible, and it feels like

Speaker 1 I'm going to give you a genuine compliment. It's hard, I think, right now.
We've gotten very lucky because we started a podcast before everyone had a podcast.

Speaker 1 It's hard to hop into the podcast game right now and be unique. And you've done that.
And that's a credit to you.

Speaker 7 I appreciate that. That means a lot, really, coming from you guys.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 You know, it's been fun. It's, I didn't, you know, we just did this thing.

Speaker 7 I wasn't, we weren't trying to do anything, but it's just, it's been fun to get to like learn how to ask questions, you know, when you watch guys shows, like you're, I listen to you guys all the time.

Speaker 7 I listen to other people in the industry, the McAfees and the Colin Cowards and see how people deliver like

Speaker 7 information and how they deliver like their, their, their knowledge. And it's been fun to be able to like work that.
And I've, I've seen, you know, it helped me with TV and stuff.

Speaker 3 So it's it's been a fun creative outlet and you did it without dating the most famous woman in the world so congrats no shortcuts for you

Speaker 1 facts

Speaker 1 facts facts

Speaker 1 yeah he's you still could all right so uh we have a bunch of questions but let's start with the roast you did incredible i told you no pressure before uh because i wanted you to feel the pressure because we were expecting a lot out of you we had you as one of the highest ranked non-comedians uh you did a great job What was it like, though, the entire event, like being there?

Speaker 1 And more than anything, what was it like sitting next to Gronk? Because we,

Speaker 1 how many of Gronk's jokes did he get? Like, how many did he understand? He felt like he didn't understand anything.

Speaker 7 First off,

Speaker 7 yeah, he called me the night before. Was it the night before?

Speaker 1 The night before, yeah.

Speaker 7 And did I give you any of my jokes? Did I run any by you?

Speaker 1 You didn't, but you were like, I was like, listen, we're like, you have to perform because if you don't, like, we expect a lot out of you. And you, you delivered big time.

Speaker 7 No, it was, I was super, it was super nerve-wracking to do this whole thing because you're jumping in and you guys are good, funny speakers, and you guys have been in that, that, that kind of world.

Speaker 7 Like, we're still, I'm still new to this stuff. So, like, when you're sharing a stage with like Kevin Hart and Jeff Ross and the Nikki, like those, you can see how professional they are.

Speaker 7 So, the whole night I was watching teleprompters and stuff, seeing how, you know, like Ron Bergerty came out and he didn't say anything anything on his teleprompter.

Speaker 7 And then you get back into like, I was watching the behind the scenes stuff. So I was super nervous for this whole thing, went and performed at the comedy store

Speaker 7 the Thursday before with Jeff Ross, which was awesome to get that like rep

Speaker 7 because I never really told jokes on a stage, which is completely different than like doing a QA or speaking at a motivational thing. Like I've done those public speakings.

Speaker 7 When you have to go out and actually execute something while you're doing that, like to try to get a laugh, it's hard. So, I was like super nerve

Speaker 7 nervous at the store. I was like shaking telling my jokes.
Thankfully, we had like there was like a group of like 15 like frat boys that like knew exactly who I was.

Speaker 7 They were like athlete fans, you could tell. So, like, I got some laughs and you could see where you could like

Speaker 7 pause the joke and not pause the joke. So, it was cool to get that rep.
And then, when we get the night before,

Speaker 7 you know, now you're in the green room, and our green room was me, Randy, Gronk, and Coach.

Speaker 7 And

Speaker 7 everyone's kind of like, we were all kind of, it was like, it was a, it was like before a game, bro. Like guys were like sitting there in corners practicing their jokes and stuff.
And like,

Speaker 7 it was fun. And then, you know, go out and do it.
And then you had to like judge, like, I can't drink really before my.

Speaker 7 my jokes because I don't want to get too sloppy up there and something, you know, like you got to, and then after you start drinking, it was, it was fun. It had a fun night.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 And it was good to see, like, a lot of people in that building. You guys know what I'm talking about: Kraft, Bill, and Tom, all in all in the building.
Like,

Speaker 7 never thought I'd see that again.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that was, it was cool to see.

Speaker 3 You should have, you should have Wes Welker gone up right before you, and then, like, halfway through a set, just pulled him off stage, be like, I got this, Wes, just taking over for him.

Speaker 3 He probably wouldn't have liked that, though. Uh, yeah, we did have you very high.
We thought Drew Bledsoe did a good job, too. He was like,

Speaker 3 great way to open it.

Speaker 7 Yeah, you know, that's got to be some pressure. And he's a, he's a great sport, you know, like with how he, I mean, that's got to be, that's such a crazy.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 It's a different dynamic. It's like this guy is responsible for your career going absolutely sideways when you thought it was going to go perfectly.

Speaker 3 And then you have to show up and make fun of him for being so much better than you. Yeah.
But he did a really good job. I thought, I thought he was

Speaker 1 good.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.
So about Gronk. So Gronk gets up.
We can all agree Gronk killed it, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Gronk killed it.

Speaker 3 It's okay to say gay again. I think that's like five of Gronk's jokes were like, Jules is here.
He's gay.

Speaker 1 Tom Brady, you're so gay. Remember that time Tom fucked Bill Belichick from Tampa with a 1,300-mile cock? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think, right?

Speaker 3 Yeah, that was going to be my question. Like, so when Tom Brady fucked Bill Belichick with a 1,300-mile cock, and then you sucked it and lubed it up the entire way from Tampa to Boston.

Speaker 3 It was in your mouth. Is that true?

Speaker 7 No, that wasn't true. That was a good joke.

Speaker 7 That was a pigment of his imagination.

Speaker 7 Now, getting back to Gronk and watching, because, like I said, you can see where the prompter and the jokes and stuff.

Speaker 7 You know, I'm sitting there watching Gronk. Like, he's starting, he's doing his bit.
And then all of a sudden,

Speaker 7 he just starts going off his dome. He's, he, like, he improv, like, I want to say half of the stuff.
And, like, it was like, I was like, oh, get back. And then he got back onto it.

Speaker 7 It was like, it was so funny.

Speaker 7 I mean, it was Gronk.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was gronk through and through. Absolutely.

Speaker 1 All right. So what, were you surprised no one roasted you for steroids?

Speaker 7 I was. I was.

Speaker 1 I was too. I was like, if I were up there, I would say that'd be the first thing I'd do.

Speaker 7 I mean, I thought everything was on the door. When Kevin DeHart opens up with the Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu instructor, I thought we were just fucking, oh, floodgates open.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 So when that was like one of the first jokes, were you like, oh, shit, we are really saying everything? Or did you guys think that there were going to be boundaries?

Speaker 7 It made me feel It made me feel so good that, like, all right, he went there. So I'm not, I guess mine's not going to be that bad.

Speaker 1 He won't, you know what I mean?

Speaker 7 It was actually a great teammate play by Kevin Hart. Yeah.
Because he set the stage where he's like, he knew we were nervous about saying certain things.

Speaker 7 So he hits him to let him know, like, this is what it's going to be.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 in a weird way, like, you probably escaped the best out of everyone because the meanest joke anyone said about you was like, you're obsessed with Tom Brady, which is like, I don't know,

Speaker 1 there's millions of men out there who they could say that about. So it's like, okay, yeah,

Speaker 1 I want to be him. Yeah.

Speaker 7 I don't know if I want to be him, but why would you ever bite the hand that fed you, bro? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You want to be inside Brentwood because of Tom Brady.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're shadowing him.

Speaker 7 I'm not afraid to say it. It's a quarterback league.
You're a dependent person when you're a receiver.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 You know, it's smart of you to own it like that. Absolutely.
So the whole situation with Bob Craft, Bill, Tom, all there together at once.

Speaker 3 It seemed awkward when Bob came out on stage. Like Bill didn't really want to be taking the shot.
He had to be talked into it. Did anybody hang out and talk afterwards?

Speaker 3 Or did they go their separate ways? What was that like seeing all them together if they hung out later?

Speaker 7 It was pretty political. You guys know how that goes.
Yeah. Like those guys are pros at that.
They know how to address rooms. They know how to read situations and stuff.
Like

Speaker 7 it was, I mean, it was what it was. I didn't, I didn't see them at the after party.
They left. Mr.
Kraft came for a second and hung out for a little while, but Bill, he wasn't there. So

Speaker 7 there wasn't really any interaction.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're that I saw. You're like a child of divorce being like so hard.
I don't know which, like, who I should be seen with or who I should be buddy with.

Speaker 7 I'll give you this one. Like, we're in the green room and we're all telling like war stories, having fun.
Coach is telling us about, you know, a rookie skid or something that he loved back in the day.

Speaker 7 And we're all like huddled up talking and, you know, Kraft walked in and, you know, they, they played it. They played it right.
I mean, but it was like, it was like what you just said.

Speaker 7 I, I, I wanted, I, I got up and walked away. I was fucking, I didn't know what to do.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I walked away.

Speaker 7 I went to the bathroom. I just didn't want to be in any kind of question asking or anything from either, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Was Kraft drunk when he came to the the after party? Because he had like four shots. He had a bunch of drinks when he was on stage.

Speaker 3 I don't know if this guy got a tolerance of a tank or what?

Speaker 7 I didn't notice any of that. Mr.
Kraft, he's a funny guy.

Speaker 1 He's fun.

Speaker 1 So the other one,

Speaker 1 your running mate. Danny Amendola, I think he got maybe the meanest joke of the whole time, and it felt like Belichick might have just showed up just to get that in on him.

Speaker 1 What did Amandola say afterwards? Because

Speaker 1 that was brutal. It did feel like it was like, that was a real one.

Speaker 7 I mean, now you get, now you, now you guys get a sense of that's how Bill's sense of humor was, and that's how he would humiliate people like in the film room. Yeah, you know what I mean?

Speaker 7 Like, oh, that's a, that's a great 250 yards. Yeah, Moss had that.
That's a good half for Moss. You know, like, that's how he would get on guys during film.

Speaker 7 Like, it was awesome to see that.

Speaker 7 I mean, they knew it was all fun and games. They actually kissed it out.
Okay.

Speaker 1 That's cool. And they were cool.

Speaker 7 I saw them. They're good.

Speaker 3 The other guy he went after, which I thought was just really funny, was it Matt Light?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, Matt Light.

Speaker 3 And he just started like roasting Matt Light. And Matt Light was in the back, just like, I did not expect anybody to say my name at all tonight.

Speaker 3 But I felt like that was Belichick just going back to the day of like, okay, I'm going to

Speaker 3 rip this guy a new asshole because I know that he fucked up on film. So I get to humiliate him in front of the entire team.
Kind of the same way he was doing with Danny, but like,

Speaker 1 there's a different thing with Matt Light.

Speaker 7 There's a different thing with Matt Light for sure, because because Matt Light, I actually just had him on my podcast. We'll be launching that here soon.

Speaker 7 But like, Matt was like the biggest prankster, like ever. Like, he had balls of steel.

Speaker 7 Like, he would go above and beyond to do a, like, to get a prank in, like, it crazy, like with Bill, with everyone with the, you know, that, with Scarneckio.

Speaker 7 like like the coaches like he was a badass on the field and he was one you know he played for 12 years he's like one of our leaders but he was not afraid to make a fun of the environment with like these crazy pranks which you guys can listen on on games with names coming out soon you know the matt light episode it'll be good i love that tease i love that um

Speaker 1 what about uh i have to ask this question because it came up like four or five times did brady not really shower with the guys Yeah, Brady took the, I mean, I've seen him a couple times.

Speaker 1 He was a shower pill guy.

Speaker 7 We always call it, oh, Brady took the shower pill. Meaning, didn't shower, just walked out.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 okay yeah that felt like a recurring theme like dude why don't you take a shower with us which is a very funny thing when you take it outside of the world of a football locker room where it's like you're mad that your your buddy won't shower with you

Speaker 7 yeah i mean that's half the jokes are in the shower yeah you got to shower with the guys you got to shower

Speaker 1 the real bonding happens yeah

Speaker 3 you got to shower with the dudes like when brady did shower with you we were like holy shit we got to act on our best behavior because yeah brady's no, he's not.

Speaker 7 No one is off limits in the shower, bro.

Speaker 7 Like, if you're walking into the war zone, but Brady would do this one thing where he would get in the corner shower and he'd have two, he'd have two shower heads on it on him.

Speaker 7 I'd be like, dude, are you fucking serious? Are we serious here, Tom? You got to have two shower heads.

Speaker 3 Did you ever have people waiting?

Speaker 1 Did you ever have a moment where Brady like walked in the shower one day, like once a month, and you're like, fuck, I haven't shaved my pubes in a while? No, but I did. There's this one.

Speaker 1 there's this one time

Speaker 7 where i was showering and i used to shave my my legs like just to my calf and i had hella hairy thighs because i had to get my ankle i like to get my ankles taped with no pre-wrap i wanted on skin you know what i mean and i go in there and sean springs starts making fun of me he goes bro what the hell you

Speaker 7 what are you doing Like he would make fun of me in a locker room all the time. And then one time always shower and I showed him like, hey, hey, Springs,

Speaker 7 I trimmed all the way up. Look, he goes, Edelman, don't you ever talk to me in the shower and make me look at you again.
Like, he started making fun of me.

Speaker 1 I'm like, oh, what the fuck am I doing?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that is.

Speaker 7 He was like in his 14th year. He was like, veteran Sean Spring, like second year in the league.
He'd make fun of me all day. It was funny.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you got to shower with me. Shower moments are fun.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Was it after, would it be after like a special game that Brady would be like, you know what? I'm going to shower the boy.

Speaker 1 Give him, give him a treat.

Speaker 7 Well, I mean, he had to shower and away games. Away games, you have to shower.

Speaker 1 Right. Yeah, that makes sense.

Speaker 3 That'd be gross if he didn't.

Speaker 7 Oh, so I think he just wanted to go home and shower. Like, at his, he probably had like the craziest shower at his house, like, something insane where he has like

Speaker 7 hydrated water.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so when the schedule would come out, you would circle all the away games being like, nice, I'm going to get shower with Brady these days.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, you're so, yeah, yeah, so good, so good, bro. Uh, all right, serious question.
Uh, because we haven't had you on since it happened, but the dynasty dock, it was a little crazy.

Speaker 1 Uh, we had Belichick's back. It felt like a

Speaker 1 very slanted against him. When you were watching it, were you like, I lived half of this? And it's not exactly how it went.

Speaker 7 I mean, yeah, I mean, it was, I don't know.

Speaker 7 It was pretty clickbaity where they just wanted to go over everything that,

Speaker 7 you know, you, that people want to see that hated us for a long time. And they fed it, and it is what it is.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 7 They just kind of like brushed over like the great games that we had, like the Troy Brown game where Tom throws the interception. They're about to lose against San Diego.
Troy's trips.

Speaker 7 Like there, we didn't see any of that stuff. Like, right.
I don't know, but it's also, it's Hollywood. You know, they got to do what they got to do to make it

Speaker 1 sell. Yeah, no, it's, it's hard to do a documentary.
Like, there's definitely something to be said.

Speaker 1 Like, you can't do a documentary where it's just like, oh, they won, and then they won again, and then they won again, because no one, everyone everyone be like well what the we want to see the other stuff yeah but it did feel like more other stuff than

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 7 the crazy thing is we all did those interviews and that's when bill was still under the team so i think he had to do it yes

Speaker 3 that's what we were saying it's like mr crowd

Speaker 7 he doesn't get to have his you know what i mean yeah but it's been really awesome to see because of all this stuff Bill's kind of opened up just to go out and do some of these TV things.

Speaker 7 And he's been doing stuff with McAfee.

Speaker 7 And, you know, it's been cool to see him open up a little bit and show people like yeah i'm not i'm not yeah i'm an asshole but it's fun it's you know what i mean like it's yeah yeah

Speaker 3 football coach look how much information i know yeah yeah he knows a lot he's a genius yeah so um yeah in the documentary uh pat or Hank was saying that there's not enough like Patriots porn.

Speaker 3 It feels like they did make a documentary almost more for the Patriots haters because there are more of them than there are Patriots fans.

Speaker 3 But there was one part that featured you that was like just pure super bowl patriots porn when you made that catch against the falcons and then you immediately jumped up you're like nah bro i caught it right in the defender's face he's like no you dropped it and you're like bro i caught it and it was just like a nice little back and forth there when you when you watch that play on replay when you see replay of it do you do you pause it and rewind it and re-watch it again because if i were you i would just i would watch that shit all the time be like look what i did no not at all i honestly it's a lucky play like i don't like i like watching plays that like i got blown up or something and i just hung on with the ball like cam chancel lit me up like i always like that play but

Speaker 7 not not really that game that was a bad route so i i don't like that play oh oh you up bad process because you're so i i i bananed my route it's a it's a it's a middle read and you know with cover five you gotta go to the near upright of the the post you know what i mean if it was cover if there was one safety then you take it to the numbers and it becomes more like a fade but right here you're trying to put pressure pressure on the two, on the too high safety.

Speaker 7 So, you know, you, you want to really try to get him the defender. He's got inside leverage.
I want, you got to, you got to like, I banana my route. You got to make him feel like you're hitting that

Speaker 7 bow route. And then he undercuts, and then you get, you get open.
And I just kind of,

Speaker 7 I mean, it was a bad route, so I don't like it.

Speaker 1 Who's that?

Speaker 7 Oh, it's Brandon Marshall. What's the hell?

Speaker 1 How are you doing, buddy? Yeah, you got to be up there.

Speaker 1 He hit me up.

Speaker 7 Literally hit me up on Thursday, 30 minutes before. I was like, hey, bro, I'm staying at your house from

Speaker 7 Thursday to Monday. It's cool.
I'm like, sure.

Speaker 1 It's a real show.

Speaker 1 He did the same thing with us. B-Marsh, he came to the Chicago office, and then like four days later, he was still coming in.
I was like, do you work here now?

Speaker 1 He's like, no, I'm using your podcast studio. I was like, oh, okay, cool.
This is Rocky. Hey, Rocky.
What's up, Rocky? Big Cat. Y'all was making me meals and everything.
I know.

Speaker 1 You're welcome back anytime.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Anytime.

Speaker 7 I walk walk in Jules' house. First off, this house is like

Speaker 7 the best house I've ever seen in the world. He's super rich.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 7 I thought you were retired. Why are you still talking football?

Speaker 1 You ain't got a bow route. You talking about bow routes right now? He fucked up that route in the Super Bowl.

Speaker 7 He keeps on asking about the catch. I hate that play because I, little read, I didn't bop my guy to the bow route.

Speaker 7 I put the hand in my route. And that's like the coach.

Speaker 1 That's like one thing you can't do.

Speaker 1 This is so because it was like our 97th play.

Speaker 7 Like we had a 97 play game for offense, which you're you're cooked. And they literally ran out of gas.
So, wait,

Speaker 1 yeah, this is this is like so Belichick of you, though, because it makes me think that at one point, Belichick might have brought up that catch the next year and been like, Edelman, this is how this is not how you run the route.

Speaker 1 Even though it was like, nah, he never did that. Nah, he never did that.
That would be very Belichick back.

Speaker 3 I've always wondered, do you watch film of the Super Bowl? Do you break that down and learn from it? Because it's a new team the next year. Do you even like it?

Speaker 7 You know what I do? I, I, during Super Bowl time, I watched the NFL Network and like they always have, you know, like the old games on.

Speaker 7 And I, I just watch the old games, like the TV copies, because A, I've never seen really a lot of the TV copies when I was playing.

Speaker 7 And B, it's good to reference like for like, it brings up my memories back. Like, oh, shit, yeah, I remember that situation, this game right here.
And then it's good for like when I talk TV and.

Speaker 7 Yeah, you know, talk to you guys and stuff. So it's, I, I like, I'm a fan of the game.

Speaker 7 So you watch all these, the old cutups are crazy like then you get the afc champion or championship week they have all the old afc championship weeks and stuff i think it's fun yeah what one last question about the documentary you're going to tell us why malcolm butler was benched for the super bowl oh yeah

Speaker 7 i have no clue bro no one

Speaker 7 so no one knows i was i was away from the team bro i was so mad actually because i had i tore my acl that year yeah you're with us and Yeah, I remember I was with you.

Speaker 7 And it was like, I couldn't even go to the team hotel. Like, they put me out in this other team, is the family hotel.
Like, I was so pissed, man. I had to go 45 minutes,

Speaker 7 not part of the show.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I don't even know why.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't even know why. I remember you came on radio, and I was like, How's it going? How the guy's feeling? And you were just like, I don't know.
Like, I'm not with them.

Speaker 1 I'm not allowed to be with them. Yeah, it's fucking, yeah, dude.
They're, they're like,

Speaker 7 they were in the game, bro.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Um, all right, so we have to ask you, and you have to, you have to pump up Hank.
He's not super excited about Drake May and partially your fault, right?

Speaker 7 You know what?

Speaker 7 He's been growing on me. Drake's been growing on me.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 7 I like the whole basketball, rented out basketball, Jim Night of, dude's a competitor. I heard he was like one of the best.

Speaker 7 I heard he was the best golfer at that one visit where they were going to top golf with the teams and stuff. Like he went up and he's got like...
This is nothing to do with football.

Speaker 3 Wouldn't you like him to not be excellent at golf?

Speaker 1 And that has nothing to do with football. Those are the types of things that like,

Speaker 7 you know, the competitive dudes that like to compete when it's like a

Speaker 7 hairy situation, those guys aren't scared of that moment.

Speaker 7 Now, I'm not saying that guy's there, but like those little stories, if you, I don't know if they're coming out of nowhere, I've started to hear them more.

Speaker 1 Yeah, um, sitting at the

Speaker 5 Bruins, yeah, not not, he sat in, he sat in like the regular seats at the Bruins, didn't sit in the suite, man of the people.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 7 it's ultimately, I mean, it's, it's, this is the, this is, this is not just,

Speaker 7 you know, on him, you know, this is on you know now wolf who's the general manager you got to get him playmakers we got you know that this is also on the developmental of you know the coaching staff you know van drake or the the new oc they have like this is that's going to be his job they brought in ben mcadoo so he's going to be like probably working with the quarterback and and help developing this guy so you know this is a team effort when you have a young quarterback and i never really got to experience one yeah what about the allegations again from hank that he throws a very heavy ball heavy the ball looks heavy in his hands.

Speaker 7 I like he's big. He's big, though.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So you think he's when he

Speaker 1 has a heavier ball?

Speaker 7 Nah, I mean,

Speaker 7 I got to catch it. I'll let you guys know.

Speaker 1 I'm probably going to go check out a camp.

Speaker 7 Yeah. I'll give you a little update on it.
Okay. I got to go catch it.
You know, hey, I threw it Drew Bledstone.

Speaker 1 I was about to say that. Yeah.
That was crazy. He was throwing a thousand miles an hour.
He was playing it, broke. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Did you ask him to do that or was he just like,

Speaker 5 here's a catch here? It's going 90 miles an hour?

Speaker 7 No, we were, we were literally, we did the podcast, and then we went out in the backyard and we were drinking wine. He's a big wine guy, you know, a double back, I think, is his, his wine company.

Speaker 7 And we, and there's a ball there, and we just started throwing. I was like, I want to catch Drew's ball.
I want to see how it feels. And it's, that dude's got the centrifugal force on his ball.

Speaker 7 Those are like big-handed guys. When the ball speed is spinning fast, you know, and he can just flick it.

Speaker 7 I mean, he can still, he's 50 years old.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Is it weird? And he's still, he can still dig it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Is it weird when you, when you, when you're hanging out with a guy like Drew Bledsoe, because you never played with him, but it's like kind of going back to like the divorce with your divorced child with Robert Kraft and Belichick.

Speaker 1 When you, when you meet Drew Bledsoe, you're like, oh, it's like your long-lost brother. Like, we had the same dad.
We know

Speaker 1 we were born under the same thing, but we never really bonded. But you have like all these common things.

Speaker 7 100%.

Speaker 7 And, you know, I,

Speaker 7 you know, Drew was around a lot. He would always, I saw, I met him early in my career.
And,

Speaker 7 you know, he, well, you guys don't realize Drew Bloodstow was like the biggest guy in New England. You know what I mean? Like, he was the guy.
People loved him here. And they still do.

Speaker 7 And, you know, with how he's handled that whole situation, that's the real patriot way right there.

Speaker 7 We used to have a sign on that said mental toughness, doing what's best for the team when it may not be best for you.

Speaker 7 Walk by it every day, you know, and he's an example of that. You know, a lot of guys could have handled that situation a lot differently.

Speaker 7 And he seemed, you know, just from hearing stories and talking with guys, he was always a good teammate.

Speaker 3 He seems like he's got, he's got a good head on his shoulder. It's funny because it's like, do your job.
But in his case, his job was to no longer do his job. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But he did that job really well.

Speaker 7 But I'm just telling you guys, the guy's like 50 years old. And when you see him, he looks like a number one draft pick.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 he looks good in shorts.

Speaker 7 No, he was in jeans, but he could still, he was flinging that, like, he's just a big, burly, like, white man.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You know, like a country mountain man.

Speaker 3 I've got just like an idea that just came to me. You're talking about, like, I got to catch Drake's ball.
You should do like Dave does pizza reviews. You should just do ball reviews.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 You just catch a ball from somebody and then you rate the ball. How good was that ball?

Speaker 7 That's not a bad idea. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You could even throw in some like blind, like, just to like, obviously you got to catch people's balls Uh, current NFLs, but like doing like a throwback blind ball catching video where it's like, oh, I think that was like,

Speaker 1 that was Bledsoe's ball. Oh, that might have been an L way.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Smoked right in the face.

Speaker 3 Could you tell the difference? Just if you were blindfolded and you caught one of Brady's balls, and then we blindfolded you, caught one of Jimmy G's balls. Could you tell?

Speaker 7 I mean,

Speaker 7 you wouldn't be able to catch it, but if there was a situation or a scenario where you could actually do that, where I could see, but like maybe they're behind it,

Speaker 1 maybe they're behind a net, like the you could feel the ball, yeah.

Speaker 7 You could definitely feel the ball, it's different. Oh, like I could feel the difference between Hoyer's ball, you can feel the difference between Jimmy G's ball, Cam's ball.

Speaker 7 Yeah, you can feel a difference. And then Tebow came in.
I wouldn't even let him throw to me because he goes opposite speed.

Speaker 1 I don't want to get used to that other saturable force.

Speaker 3 Yeah, who had the nicest balls?

Speaker 7 You know, who actually threw a real catchable ball?

Speaker 1 Brian Hoyer did. Yeah.
Yeah. Axel.

Speaker 7 He had this little pat thing. He threw a real catchable ball.

Speaker 7 Mallet used to throw a real heavy, heavy, like hard ball.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Hard ball.
He had an

Speaker 1 arm. Yeah.
He had an arm.

Speaker 7 But

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 1 That's good. I like that ball reviews.

Speaker 3 I got some draft analysis for you. If you could, like, if you're looking at these three prospects, which one really jumps off the page to you in terms of how they're going to fit in in the NFL?

Speaker 3 Given your experience. Cooper DeGene,

Speaker 1 right?

Speaker 3 McCaffrey, Luke McCaffrey, and then Lad McConkey.

Speaker 7 Are those all white guys, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 3 I don't know.

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 1 don't know what that is. So, what is the question?

Speaker 3 Which one of those guys reminds you the most of you?

Speaker 1 Oh, they are white. They are all white.
Yeah, they're all white. Yeah, none of them.

Speaker 5 None of them.

Speaker 1 None of them.

Speaker 7 Because

Speaker 7 they're all kind of big. And

Speaker 7 that corner guy is like a way faster than I ever was.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 And then the McCaffrey, he's taller. He's like more like Ed.
He's like his dad. His body type's different.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Well, Jules, I got one last question. Thank you again.
This has been awesome. We love having you on every time.

Speaker 1 It is the Roback Question, R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com, promo code TAKE, 20% off the first purchase. Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, roback.com.
We will hopefully see you maybe grit week,

Speaker 1 which we haven't

Speaker 1 you guys are coming here, possibly, possibly. I actually asked, I got to get out to Chicago.
You do, you do. I asked Jules, I was like, Where are you going to be in

Speaker 1 August? And he's like, You mean, like, will I be in America? And I was like, Okay, let's start there. Yeah, like, will you be in America? He's like, Yeah, I think so.
All right, cool. Oh, that's true.

Speaker 1 But, uh, that's travel month.

Speaker 7 That's that's that's right before the season. You know, you got things going.
Yeah, you got to get a thing out, and then you clamp down, football season in. You got to buck win.

Speaker 1 That's true. That's true.

Speaker 7 25 weeks.

Speaker 1 All right. So, rollback question.

Speaker 1 The last question I had for you was,

Speaker 1 we kind of skirted by it, but like, how many jokes do you think out of, let's say, 100 did Gronk actually process?

Speaker 7 He knew them all.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 7 Yes. I actually had a joke where I was going to incorporate Gronk because

Speaker 7 he gets a rap for being, it was like, it was, this is one of the jokes.

Speaker 7 I was going to have Gronk in on it. I would have been like, you know, everyone has this big old thing out for Gronk that he's, you know, kind of a dumb, like a simple guy, a dumb-dumb.

Speaker 7 And it's not true. He's actually a savant with numbers.
Watch. Gronk, what's 69 minus 37?

Speaker 7 32.

Speaker 7 That's right, Gronk. The same number of teams that rather lose than have a conversation with Coach Belichick.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's a good one. Yeah.
You should have done that. I know.
But

Speaker 1 he would have had to nail that 32.

Speaker 3 Yeah, is that why you didn't do it?

Speaker 7 No, he would have got it. I'm telling you right now, Gronk knows numbers, bro.

Speaker 3 I think he just knows 69-based math. Like, he knows 69 minus any number.

Speaker 7 This guy, he can count, dude. I'm telling you, whenever we used to talk contracts,

Speaker 7 like, whenever we, I would always bust his balls, like, yo, watch, what's where it really is, Gronk? 144. You're like 12, dude.

Speaker 7 Like, he really knows numbers pretty well, dude.

Speaker 1 Listen,

Speaker 1 I think he is smarter than people give him credit for. He did not understand Kevin Hart's three-fifths joke.

Speaker 1 That one he he didn't get

Speaker 1 because you forget this was this was on live TV, so they had that one, they went to Gronk like seven times in 20 years, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes

Speaker 7 the speakers are in front of you, or they were in front of you, so sometimes, even though they're close, you wouldn't hear, you'd hear the reaction before you hear the joke.

Speaker 1 He is the best, though. Like, it was, I was saying, I wanted just a mic'd-up episode of The Roast, just of him, because like his and his roast, just him just being Gronk is so fucking funny.

Speaker 1 He's He's just the best. He's the man.

Speaker 7 Yeah. He's honestly the most genuine, like, lovable dude.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. We love him.

Speaker 1 Great energy.

Speaker 3 Last question for me. Just who out of the non-comedians do you think had the best set? And you can't say the ones that we talked about.
You can't say Drew Bledsoe.

Speaker 3 And you can't say, you can't say the complete.

Speaker 7 I think Nikki Glasner killed it.

Speaker 3 Well, she's a comedian, though. Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 That was misogynistic of you.

Speaker 7 No, but she literally, I thought her jokes were. Did you say, oh, non-players was the best?

Speaker 1 Non-comedian. Yeah, yeah.
And you just were like, oh, that chick was pretty funny. That was crazy.

Speaker 7 She was, I thought she was the best.

Speaker 1 She was the best. She was the best.
Yeah, but who of the non-comedian?

Speaker 1 Athlete or actor?

Speaker 1 We know it wasn't Ben Affleck, so we can scratch that one. Apparently, not.

Speaker 1 I didn't even get that thing. It was weird.
It was so bizarre. You were just like, you fucking keyboard warrior.
Yeah. It's like, who are you roasting?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 I can't say Drew.

Speaker 7 I thought Tom did well. Yeah.
I thought that Kanye joke was good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was about Kim. It was great.
I also thought, like, Tom did a good job of at the end. Like, you didn't want him to, like, he, he, he did what he should have done, being like, fuck all of you.

Speaker 1 I'm Tom Brady. You know what I mean? Like, that's like, he didn't play like,

Speaker 1 oh, like, it's kind of like, I'm a humble guy. He's like, no, no, I'm Tom Brady, which that was what he should have done.

Speaker 7 Dude, the guy wins. It's crazy.
We went on a Fox retreat for NFL Fox, like all the, all the dogs and stuff, like Terry, Howie, coach. Tom was out there, Burkhart.

Speaker 7 And we were playing this game LRC.

Speaker 7 And for 45 minutes, Tom was out. You know what I mean? Have you guys played that game?

Speaker 1 What is that?

Speaker 7 It's like there's three dice and then there's dots. Oh, yeah.
You put it the R, you pass it right, you know, left, left. Dude, fully won it in front of everyone.

Speaker 7 And everyone's like, oh my God, this, it's really true. This guy wins at everything.
And his first introductory,

Speaker 7 to like the Fox team, you know what I mean? Like, really, all of us kind of hanging out. And it was just like, everyone's like, oh my God, is he Jesus?

Speaker 3 I heard Greg Olson's really good at that game, too.

Speaker 1 Oh, he wasn't invited to that.

Speaker 1 I don't know who you're talking about.

Speaker 1 Jules, you're the best. I don't know what you're talking about.

Speaker 1 You're the best, man. And hopefully, we see you soon.
And everyone do go

Speaker 1 watch and subscribe to Games with Names. The Ernie Adams episode, start there.
It was awesome.

Speaker 7 The Blood So episode was just really good. We went on all the Rose stuff.
Matt Light episode is going to be epic. This dude was, he was a nut, bro.
Yeah. And then, how about Brandon Marshall?

Speaker 7 Literally hit me up like two days ago, three days ago.

Speaker 1 He's like, all right, let's come over here. Which, which, are you going to do an episode with him?

Speaker 7 We already did an episode.

Speaker 7 We did the Pro Bowl when he got Pro Bowl MVP.

Speaker 1 You should be like, hey, tomorrow, can we do the episode where it was like

Speaker 1 maybe like week six? It was Bears Dolphins, and he got in, allegedly got in a screaming match with Robbie Gold after the game in the locker room. You should see if he'll do that one.

Speaker 1 We got like embarrassed, and it was like a, it was like a real low, and it was like Brandon Marshall fights with kicker.

Speaker 1 You should do that. Oh, man.

Speaker 7 Nah, I'm not. I'm pretty good.

Speaker 3 Do it. I just like the fact that Brandon Marshall was hanging out at your house, and then he walks by, and he's also got a football in his hand.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 He's like, yeah, it's me, Brandon Marshall, the football player.

Speaker 1 We're just playing football. Yeah.

Speaker 7 No, there is, we do have balls around the house.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 You know, because we do our podcast here. And like, if we need like a five-minute break, you know, you got five minutes.
All right, fellas, we got five minutes.

Speaker 1 Toss, get a little air, throw, throw the ball around. Love it.
Yeah, you're living the life. Podcast studio in your house.
That's that's everyone's dream. Uh, all right, Jules, thanks so much, man.

Speaker 1 Appreciate it. Everyone, go subscribe, and we'll see you soon, hopefully.

Speaker 7 All right, guys, man. Take care.

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Speaker 1 And now for something completely different.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on our very, very, very good friend, recurring guest. Pardon my take, legend.
It is Blake Bortles.

Speaker 1 We figured we have to have him on before we do Blake of the Year in a month and a half, get him prepped.

Speaker 1 We were talking before, you noted we always have Bortles with us in the background with his jersey.

Speaker 1 And PFT mentioned that we have the Saints, the Packers.

Speaker 1 We don't have a Broncos one. Now, the question to you is: should we get a Broncos Blake Bortles jersey, or should we get the guy who had to start that game because you gave everyone COVID?

Speaker 9 Kendall Hinton. Yeah, it was also not my fault.
I couldn't, I was thinking about that when you mentioned it, though. I don't know what number I was in Denver.

Speaker 1 Did you ever, you didn't get, did you play, you didn't play a game, did you?

Speaker 9 I never dressed because I got there.

Speaker 9 I was inactive for like the first two or three weeks. And then I was on practice squad.
And then for like 45 minutes, I was going to start against the Saints.

Speaker 9 And then I got blamed for everybody getting COVID, and Kendall Hinton got to start.

Speaker 1 You did, you did have five. You had five.
Wait, yep, okay.

Speaker 3 So when you're going to Denver, and like the punter or the kicker has number five, are you like, hey,

Speaker 3 can I get your number?

Speaker 9 Oh, dude, at that point in my career, I was fine wearing like Mike Winchell 20.

Speaker 1 I didn't care.

Speaker 1 All right, so

Speaker 1 first of all, I just want to say apologies for that Bruins Panthers over because we were texting before and you're like, yeah, I'm ready to go. I'm just sitting on my couch watching, hoping for goals.

Speaker 1 I don't know anything about hockey.

Speaker 1 That's basically everyone at this time of year where it's like, oh, let me turn on this hockey game. They score goals and then it's the playoffs.
It's like, fuck, this sucks.

Speaker 9 It is tough. I've gotten murdered.
I've lost. Like, I love hockey.
I don't know a ton about it. Like, I know kind of the basics and obviously the rules.

Speaker 9 And I've gotten to know guys that are playing and the stars, obviously, of the league. I listen to spit and chicklets here and there.
So it's kind of where my knowledge comes from.

Speaker 9 But I'm just donating donating money at this point.

Speaker 3 What have you been up to recently? I feel like we haven't heard from Bortles for a long time. Are you picking up any new hobbies?

Speaker 9 I'm trying things out. I'm trying just random things, hoping to find something.
Golf will always be a hobby of mine. I got two little kids who are doing that.
Still building a house

Speaker 9 that's, you know, hopefully going to be done here soon. And then, you know, outside of that, just random stuff.
I played tennis a couple times.

Speaker 9 Found out that wasn't for me.

Speaker 9 I'm into just trying things I'm working on getting into maybe like some jiu-jitsu or something I'm gonna see how that goes I'm just I'm looking for stuff

Speaker 9 tennis is is very boring I've found it it dude it wasn't and it was also like our daughter plays tennis so it was like all right let me see if you know I'll do this too so we can like play together And I did it for like an hour one day.

Speaker 9 And I think I made contact with 50% of the balls and was dead tired in like 35 minutes. And it's like, yeah, I'll play pickleball.

Speaker 1 Yeah, every time I play tennis, i'm just like i'll play for like 10 minutes and then the thought will cross my head and be like this would be so much sicker if it was home run derby yeah 100

Speaker 1 because every now and then you

Speaker 9 you accidentally hit one like out of the fence and it's just like i'd rather i'd rather do that yeah you're like holy shit i'm strong

Speaker 9 i also just can't surf which like you just can't play if you can't surf like you can i can hit it hard but i just i can't hit it in that square that's the thing about test they say it's like a really good cardio workout but it's not at all if you stink at it.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you're just getting started. Then it's like just the most boring standing around thing ever.

Speaker 9 Oh, you're just one and done every time.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.
So the other thing I was wondering, we have

Speaker 1 all three of us have new quarterbacks on this show, PFT, Hank, and I.

Speaker 1 You were a new quarterback at one point. What should we, if we ever meet our new quarterbacks, what should we tell them?

Speaker 1 The Blake Bordles, hey, this is what you do if you're drafted high and you have an entire city expecting things out of you.

Speaker 9 So who do you, I mean, you have Caleb Williams, who I actually got to meet because he was training like 10 minutes from our house here in Florida.

Speaker 9 Awesome kid. Yes.
PFT has Jaden Daniels.

Speaker 9 Jaden Daniels, stud. And Hank has Drake May.
Yep.

Speaker 9 In New England, right?

Speaker 9 Yeah, I don't know. I mean,

Speaker 9 I feel like the young, it's changed so much. Like it was, it used to be come and sit, hang out like the Aaron Rodgers deal.
Like that was kind of supposed to be what I did.

Speaker 9 And, you know, ended up playing earlier than expected, which was great and learned a lot through experience and a ton of failures.

Speaker 9 And then I feel like Mahomes has kind of just changed the game on the expectations of how you're supposed to play right away.

Speaker 9 If you ever meet him, I don't know. Tell him you love him and he's doing great.

Speaker 1 That's good. That's good advice.

Speaker 9 Just positivity, man.

Speaker 1 Kids going through a lot.

Speaker 9 It's probably not going to go great right away. And, you know, let's stick to it.
Keep working. You'll be fine.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 What was it like just getting started with the Jaguars? Like when you go into the building, what attitude did you have to have?

Speaker 3 Like going, people have expectations, obviously, because you're drafted so high. Do you come in like, yeah, I'm the fucking shit? Do you actively have to like check your own ego sometimes?

Speaker 9 I would imagine there's probably guys that have done that, you know, whether coming off the Heismans or just highly touted dudes throughout their entire career.

Speaker 9 For me, coming into the NFL was the first time there was really ever any expectations on me. Like I was the second quarterback at UCF in our recruiting class.

Speaker 9 And so getting drafted third overall and going into Jacksonville, that was kind of the first time that there was ever anything expected of me right away.

Speaker 9 So that was different. But I mean, it's all just new.
It's a totally different game, especially I feel like. The college and the NFL games are so different in all aspects of it.
And

Speaker 9 I mean, at the same time, you're walking in at 20, 21, 22 years old, and there's guys in there that are married with kids. And it's like, I have no experience of how to handle these kinds of people.

Speaker 9 Outside of

Speaker 9 talking to my parents and my parents' friends, I don't know how to talk to parents. So, you know, some of that stuff's new.

Speaker 9 But, you know, I'm sure all those dudes will be fine. They've gotten so good, so mature

Speaker 9 and dealing with media and NIO shit and all that. So I'm sure they'll all do great.

Speaker 1 Have they retired your jersey at UCF yet?

Speaker 9 No.

Speaker 1 What the fuck?

Speaker 9 i got inducted into the hall of fame two years ago okay

Speaker 9 um but i don't think there's only a couple like dante culpeppers

Speaker 9 they well i guess they're like suicide because college i mean there's 120 kids on a team so like they can't start taking numbers away but i guess they hang them up i think there's a couple numbers that are hung up around the stadium um which i guess it may be ring of honor type people we need that it will come we'll come to that day if they if they ever if they ever decide to do it let's let's let's put some pressure on them be like what are we doing here let's get borderline

Speaker 3 up in the land a weekend and celebrate it'd be great yeah they need to respect you they need to they need to hang your banner high um did you know that we had a national championship banner that's true did did you know that you had the highest uh yards per carry excuse me third highest yards per carry of any quarterback ever in the history of the nfl

Speaker 3 i no i didn't who uh is that an actual stat yeah i think you finished with like 6.3 Mike Vick only had seven yards per attempt.

Speaker 1 Hmm.

Speaker 9 Only, dude. Could you imagine? Me and Mike Vick's similar athletic abilities.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 No, they need to put some respect on your name. That's the great Blake Bortles.

Speaker 1 This is the Blake Bortles Hall of Fame pitch that we're going to start working on. We're going to make a whole pamphlet of it.
Yeah.

Speaker 9 Third all-time yards per carry. It's a good start.
Yep.

Speaker 1 Yep. The boat.
That also is a good, I mean, you can't say anyone else is the boat.

Speaker 3 Should have beaten the New England Patriots in Gillette in the postseason and gone to the Super Bowl. That got ripped from your hands.
Yep. Absolutely.
That's going in there too.

Speaker 3 Outdoored Ben Rotlessberger.

Speaker 1 Got everyone COVID and got Kendall Hinton a start.

Speaker 1 That's right.

Speaker 9 Looking out for guys.

Speaker 3 Actually, one bullet point just should be: did not give the entire Broncos COVID, contrary to popular belief.

Speaker 1 Again. Oh, Walter Payton.

Speaker 3 Walter Payton Man of the Year finalist. Yep.

Speaker 9 That's right. Yep.

Speaker 9 That was the year Jared played in the Super Bowl. New England beat him.
Like, yes, he scored 10-7, 13-7.

Speaker 1 They gave him in Atlanta.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that was the year Chris Long gave the entire world water.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 And so he won man of the year.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 9 The entire continent of Africa with clean water. We all thought we had a chance of winning that year through, you know, fundraising for a local community.

Speaker 1 No chance. No chance.
I had, I forgot to tell you,

Speaker 1 and I want to hear your perspective of it. I ran into your agent when we were in Indy for the Combine.
And I had met him a couple of times before, so I said hello to him.

Speaker 1 And I was laughing because I was like, what was it like for you guys when Blake just accidentally retired on our show? And they were like, yeah, that kind of sucked for us.

Speaker 1 They were like, we just got a bunch of calls right away. And he said, he was like, Blake told us specifically, he's like, any calls you get, I'm not talking to anyone else.

Speaker 1 I'm talking to the part of my take, guys. So I want to say thank you.
And also, was that your perspective of it that your agents were like, what the fuck, dude?

Speaker 3 Why'd you do that?

Speaker 9 They, I mean, we had had.

Speaker 9 They called when I went to New Orleans, the last stop I was on was kind of like the last rodeo. And it was kind of like I was, I was staying in shape.
I was still throwing.

Speaker 9 So I kind of felt obligated to like take the call, you know, whenever it came. But it came like the day before Christmas and what year was that, 21, 22?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 9 Way somewhere in there. Right around, it was like two days before Christmas.
And we got little kids at home. Like we're starting to build stuff, you know, for to set out for Christmas presents.

Speaker 9 And my agent calls and he's like, hey, he's got a call from New Orleans.

Speaker 1 And I was like,

Speaker 9 yeah,

Speaker 9 let's just you know we'll maybe just see what happens next year see if we hear from anybody and you know it was like no like they really want you to come they'll guarantee your contract or this or that and i was like all right you know we kind of owe it to ourselves to go do this so we did it and then obviously the year ends and like a month later i think they signed andy dalton um and like guaranteed his money so it was just like all right that's not a road we're going to go down next year so like let's get out of that and i was just like i'm done i'm done and uh i remember him telling me i was like do i have to announce because you used to have to like put in papers to retire.

Speaker 9 And it was like a whole thing. Well, they got rid of that.
And it was just, if you're not on a roster for, I think, 12 months, you're just considered retired. Was what I was told.

Speaker 9 So I was like, yeah, let's just go that route, dude. We'll just, hopefully, nobody says anything for a year.
And then all of a sudden, I'll just be officially retired.

Speaker 9 And then a PFT asked me a question when I was talking to you guys, and I just accidentally said it.

Speaker 1 I was like, yeah, now we're officially retired.

Speaker 3 It's like common law retirement.

Speaker 3 If you're not on a roster, then legally.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're just done. Yeah, but so

Speaker 1 what did your agents say after you came on PMT that time? Were they like, wait, dude, that wasn't the plan?

Speaker 9 Yeah, it was just like, well, you know, just kind of out the window went the quietly retiring now. So, you know, it's a thing.

Speaker 9 And then, of course, after, like, it was either right around that time or maybe just after, like, there was calls from two or three teams, like, hey, I'd like to have you come in.

Speaker 9 And it was just like, nope, done.

Speaker 1 Yeah, go listen to pardon my take. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And the fact that you like confirmed, I kind of knew you did that, but the fact that you told your agents specifically, anyone who hits me up, just tell them I'm not going to talk to him because I'm doing it all on Pardon My Take.

Speaker 1 Thank you. Because that felt like

Speaker 9 I felt like that was where it all started. The first real interview I ever did, or it felt like, was with you guys at the Super Bowl and

Speaker 1 2014. Well, hold on.
I wanted the story about that. Well, hold on.
Yeah, I wanted the story about that, but I have to just say there was another interview that you did before that.

Speaker 1 And I also talked to your agents about that. The famous Cribs episode with Sophie Julia.

Speaker 9 It's my mom's favorite.

Speaker 1 They also told me a story that

Speaker 1 you did that episode and you didn't really tell your agents, and they had to put out a million fires after because you just had a bunch of like sponsorships, and everything in your house wasn't the sponsorship.

Speaker 1 Open your fridge, and they were like, What the fuck, Blake? We just took money from these other people.

Speaker 9 There's no body armor in that, there's no monster.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 9 the product placement wasn't great. It took me a couple years to understand

Speaker 9 the ramifications and the significance of being an NFL quarterback.

Speaker 9 I lived like I was still playing in college for the first year or two. I was in the NFL.

Speaker 1 That rocked.

Speaker 3 There was an interview that you did with us the first time. And I'll tell this story.
We might actually have to cut this part out too. But

Speaker 3 I remember you hadn't done a lot of media. You're like, yeah, I trust these guys.
I'll talk to them for a little bit.

Speaker 3 And we asked you about the London games that the jaguars would always play in and you're like yeah it's crazy over there like when you ask for a

Speaker 3 they mean that they're asking for a cigarette and then after we we got off the call me and big cat talked we were like i don't i don't think he said anything bad but i think that it would not be a good look for blake to have him saying that word out there so we quietly took that part out of the interview to have your back on it just to to spare you like a small headache uh but i don't think anybody i don't think we've ever told that story no we haven't that we took that part out but yeah I appreciate you guys protecting me on that and the dumb stuff that I used to say a lot that I've tried to say a little less.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, it wasn't, it is what they, that is the word they use over there. Yeah.
It's crazy.

Speaker 9 I just remember like the first time going over there and here and like I went there for the first, I mean, I was, I don't know,

Speaker 9 22 years old and leaving the country for the first time in my life, going to play football in London, playing at Wembley Stadium. And

Speaker 9 like unbelievable experience, super cool. But like we, the first year I went, we flew out.
We played Scentsy and then flew out after the game. So we were there the entire week.

Speaker 9 So we had a ton of time to go out and do stuff and get dinners and hang out. And like hearing somebody say that, like, can I buy my?

Speaker 9 I was just like,

Speaker 1 yeah. What are you saying? No.

Speaker 1 Straight.

Speaker 1 It's just like that slang for a cigarette.

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just like, okay. It's crazy.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Blake, I don't know if you're aware of this, but Hank and I have been going through a similar thing recently where we've noticed that we're starting to lose our hair.

Speaker 3 And we're wondering if you had any

Speaker 3 advice for us.

Speaker 9 Shave it and grow a beard.

Speaker 3 No, no, no. I can't.
That's been every one of those.

Speaker 9 But yours, I mean, your hair's been... Hank, you look good.
Where is it going? In the front or the back?

Speaker 5 There's a little spot in the back. I see.

Speaker 1 Yeah. He's losing it in the back.
It's tiny.

Speaker 3 It's not even really noticeable right now to anybody except for Hank, but it's definitely. But they got those.

Speaker 7 just go to Turkey.

Speaker 1 That's what we're saying. Yeah, I said I would go with them and I'd get a Brazilian butt lift because I'm not losing my hair.

Speaker 3 Blake, would you come with us if we went to Turkey?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'll go.

Speaker 9 They just, I mean, I feel like Brian Erlacher paved the way. Like, I used to always, like, my thing was, which I held on to it for a while.

Speaker 9 Like, I was, I was obviously losing hair and I finally got pure.

Speaker 9 I don't know if I've ever told you guys, like, I shaved my head for the first time because I was playing, I was in LA playing for the Rams, and I found this barber. And I went like four or five times.

Speaker 9 and i was like hey you know just give me the white boy fade on the sides and take a low off the top and after like the fourth or fifth time he just and i didn't really know the guy all that well except of the 45 minutes i spent with him for the haircut he goes dude you need to just shave your head

Speaker 1 yeah i think you're right dude it's time i shave it and he's just you know kind of bullied me into shaving my head you used to be elite we we've talked about this you used to be elite at the helmet off hat on like no not even you were so fast with it it was probably they should probably put that in the combine That'll go in the pamphlet for sure.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No one ever took their helmet off and put their hat on faster than Blake Portals.

Speaker 9 There was a quick, like, because what, like, if you're balding as a normal, or especially like being, like, I'm six foot five, so walking around, like, nobody really sees it.

Speaker 9 But you go to play football in front of a stadium of, you know, however many people, everybody's above you.

Speaker 9 So me and my guy, George, um, in the Jacksonville equipment room had just an unbelievable assembly line of helmet to hat switch off.

Speaker 1 It's perfect practice. All right, Blake, this is very random that this happened when we had you on, but Hank got a DM over the weekend that he's going to have to read to you.

Speaker 1 And we need you to address some allegations that you actually threw out there. I don't know if you know what this is about.

Speaker 1 It has something to do with you being on vacation and maybe someone coming up to you and talking to you.

Speaker 5 Yeah, well, they were talking about, you know, should we ask Blake on? And I saw a DM this week and I was like, I think he's on vacation because some random guy DM'd me and said,

Speaker 5 was on vacation this weekend and I happened to be at the same resort as Bortles.

Speaker 5 After mustering up the balls to say something to him with my brother-in-law, I asked him how he likes his chances for this year's Blake of the Year.

Speaker 5 He said very slim, and his claim was because Blake Griffin cheats.

Speaker 1 Blake Griffin,

Speaker 9 when it used to be.

Speaker 9 Blake Griffin has the greatest Wi-Fi of all time. Because when you guys used to call and it was the first to answer, I swear to God, I could not have answered any quicker.

Speaker 9 And Blake Griffin was beating me by half a second. yeah so his xfinity or at t or whatever he's got is just elite yeah so wait so do you remember this guy coming up to you and asking you this

Speaker 9 yeah it was yesterday

Speaker 1 that's so funny that someone just i mean what is that like are you like what the dude like this is or is it cool that someone's like coming up to you and being like hey i've been meaning to ask you blake of the year how you feeling

Speaker 9 So

Speaker 9 I mean, it's honestly probably one of the more

Speaker 9 most frequently things I get at. Like, I would say people ask me more about Blake of the Year or PMT-related stuff than anything football related.
But we were sitting at the pool

Speaker 9 Friday, maybe. And my fiancé was like, hey, like, I think that guy's like taking pictures or videos of your stuff over there.
And she goes,

Speaker 9 like, you can send that to Barstool. And I was like, yeah, but like, I don't think they'll post me like over here lounging with my belly out in the pool.

Speaker 9 Like, I don't think that's kind of up their alley of stuff to do. So the fact that he actually reached out to Hank, though, is pretty great.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 What about, um, do you have any advice for Blake Griffin in retirement?

Speaker 9 Blake to Blake? Which I saw he just retired, right, last in April.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 9 Awesome, dude. Congrats.
What a career. Um, no, I'm sure he's got it figured out, dude.
He's, he's into golf. He's talented.
He can do all kinds of stuff. I got, I got no advice for Blake.

Speaker 9 I'd actually like to hear some advice from him.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
I, I mean, Blake of the Year is going to be big this year. Yeah.

Speaker 9 I mean, if we get Brooks to, I mean, he's already, he leads the world and live victory, so he might as well retire. We get all three of us retired.
It'd be great.

Speaker 3 The Blake retirement tour.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 9 Yeah. We would go have a full-on golf tournament for the Blake of the Year.

Speaker 3 We're talking about what to do for Blake of the Year.

Speaker 3 One idea that was thrown out there was to get everybody together.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 And to do maybe

Speaker 3 some sort of a, I don't know if it's a golf tournament, but it would obviously Brooks would have to take a severe handicap in that.

Speaker 9 Or he's just making a play like left-handed.

Speaker 1 Is he still good left-handed?

Speaker 3 I think he's probably really good at it.

Speaker 1 Are you good?

Speaker 9 Not as good as I should be being retired.

Speaker 1 What's your handicap?

Speaker 9 I think I'm a seven-something right now. Oh, that's good.

Speaker 1 That's good. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's really good.

Speaker 9 Came in second place in a member guest last week, so I got that going for me.

Speaker 1 And you're competing in the Barcelona Classic, right? When it's in Florida?

Speaker 9 Yeah, hopefully, if Riggs ever lets me in.

Speaker 1 Oh, did that not get taken care of? No, I don't know. All right, I'm on it because I remember when you hit me up, it was very Blake Portals of you.

Speaker 1 You're like, hey, is there any way that I could get in? I was like, dude, are you really asking me? Like, we'll do anything to get you in this. Like, you're Barstool royalty.

Speaker 9 Dude, we, I, like, I think I set an alarm because it went live at like 11 or 12.

Speaker 9 A friend of mine who I play in a bunch of tournaments and stuff with was like, hey, they got the Barstool Classic going on here. Josh Scobie, you remember that name, kicker for the Jags?

Speaker 9 He, like, facilitated the whole thing. He belongs to the club where the tournament's at.
And I was like, all right, yeah, let's get in.

Speaker 9 So I like fully signed this up like two minutes after it started. And it was just like, you're on the wait list.
We'll let you know if you get in. And that was when I texted you.

Speaker 1 Wait, so

Speaker 1 what club is it? Or what city is it in?

Speaker 9 It's in Jacksonville. It's like Deerwood, like closer to downtown Jacksonville.
All right.

Speaker 1 I'm sending a text right now to make sure this gets done. to the to the top of the line.
I mean, you have to be in it. You have to, I mean, you have to be in it.
You can't be in it.

Speaker 1 You can't be. You tried to go about it the right way.
No, but you shouldn't have even done that. You're too humble.
But you can't have a barstool classic in Jacksonville without Blake Bortles.

Speaker 1 That's not a real classic.

Speaker 3 Yeah. I mean, maybe they just, you know,

Speaker 9 extra team in the field. I don't want to take somebody's spot that rightfully registered.

Speaker 1 I think if we, after this interview, someone will probably volunteer to give up their spot, but we don't need to do that. You're just in.

Speaker 3 We'll figure out a way.

Speaker 1 You're in. No matter what.

Speaker 1 No matter what. Can't wait.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 And then, yeah, stay tuned for Blake of the Year because we want to figure out a way to get everybody in person for it.

Speaker 1 Do it, pick up. Anything but lottery balls.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yeah.
Well,

Speaker 3 do you want to pick a number?

Speaker 9 Yeah, 19.

Speaker 3 All right, 19.

Speaker 3 This is Blake only.

Speaker 1 Down, max.

Speaker 9 I can't believe you guys actually brought this thing to Chicago.

Speaker 1 67.

Speaker 1 67. Yeah, close.

Speaker 1 All right, Blake, I have one last question. Wait, I just got a text back.
Absolutely. Can you send me his information? I get his information.
All right, we're in. We're in.

Speaker 1 Yes. That's a no-brainer.

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Speaker 1 All right, so you mentioned at the beginning you're still building your house.

Speaker 9 Are you still doing some construction personally are you doing some cosplay are you getting over there and just getting with the guys every now and then yeah i'm a i'm a locker room guy at the house i don't know anything i ask multiple questions every time i'm over there i retain half the information and i bring beer on fridays oh that's that's

Speaker 1 what a deal

Speaker 9 become good friends with like the guys that fret which they're like kind of all gone now although the guys that like framed the entire house got close with the framers which felt like my people and then uh so now we've moved on the drywall there's a bit of a language barrier going on now but we're overcoming through budweiser um

Speaker 9 and then i think we're we're close to meeting the roofers i met the roofers great dudes um and then i'm looking forward to hanging with the painters yeah this might be why it's taking so long is they just want to keep hanging out with you

Speaker 9 Which, yeah, it's really backfiring because like in my mind, I was like, dude, hang out with them, buy beer, like they'll love you. They'll do it the right way.

Speaker 9 But I think, I think, yeah, you're exactly right.

Speaker 9 I think they're just kind of um procrastinating out for the hangout yeah like why would i ever why would i ever finish a job if every friday i got free beer and got to hang out with blake portals yeah that's either either they think you're too nice of a boss or they just love hanging out with you yeah yeah one of the other i'm either getting taken advantage of which i'm sure is probably the more likely option or you know we did play there was a guy that awesome dude his name's 95 because uh he was born in 1995 uh electric electrician they call 95 but uh guys were great they crushed everything they did wiring and everything throughout the house.

Speaker 9 We brought a football out one day, and we just had a catch, and it just like stopped work. Everybody stopped what they were doing from the house, our house, the houses around.

Speaker 9 And next thing, it felt like you were at just gym class in sixth grade, and we're just playing a 15-wave catch.

Speaker 1 I love that! That's amazing! Yeah,

Speaker 1 I would never finish that house ever, ever, no, so you, it's probably good for you, too.

Speaker 3 You're learning Spanish, yeah.

Speaker 9 Oh, it's a blast, dude. Yeah, we went over there the other day.
The guys lay in, haven't necessarily met anybody by name in the drywall department,

Speaker 9 but they had the Spanish music bump in, and it was just, you know, it really set us up for a good night because you walked in and it was like, all right, yeah, we're going to Mexican tonight, Margaritas.

Speaker 1 Love it. I love it.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, Blake, we'll talk in about a month and a half for Blake of the Year.
We got to figure it out.

Speaker 1 And then I'll make sure that you're set up with the Barstow Classic. I'm excited to see you win that thing.

Speaker 9 Look forward to it. I can't.
Don't you

Speaker 9 like top three teams go in there like a championship that they do out in Arizona?

Speaker 1 Yeah. And this is going to be the start of the championship DVD.
This like little segment on the podcast being like, this is when it all came out, and you're going to win the whole thing.

Speaker 9 That's right. I can't wait.
It'll be a blast. Thanks for helping me out.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.
Well, Blake, thanks again, man. Appreciate it.
Always great talking to you.

Speaker 9 Great talking to you guys. Talk soon.

Speaker 1 Give it up for Chicago.

Speaker 11 Sebastian Meniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep

Speaker 1 coming.

Speaker 11 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's finish up the show. You have an embraced debate for us, PFT?

Speaker 3 Yes, I have an an embraced debate. It's a good discussion that I think we should be having.
It's from Ed Lattimore. Ed Lattimore, a former professional boxer.
Okay.

Speaker 3 He had this take on Twitter slash X.

Speaker 3 Something a lot of men don't like to admit. All of your hobbies and ambitions are to attract women.
Nature doesn't care how much personal fulfillment you get from them.

Speaker 3 Those things are cool, but they're

Speaker 3 coincidental positive externality to the prime objective, to keep the species going. Every hobby that you have is designed to attract women.
Factor fiction.

Speaker 1 I mean, my only hobby is gambling.

Speaker 3 Do you think women are attracted by flight simulators? No.

Speaker 1 Serious question.

Speaker 1 No. No?

Speaker 1 More than gambling.

Speaker 3 That's a good embrace debate.

Speaker 1 Yeah, which I think you fight, too. I think flight simulator would definitely get you.
I mean, gambling has to be the least attractive thing to a woman.

Speaker 5 If you're good at it.

Speaker 3 Yeah, if you're good. No, not.
But that's a good point, Hank. Like, really good gamblers, they are swimming in it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't, that's my only hobby, so I don't know what I would be.

Speaker 5 I think women are attracted to the fact I shot at 89 today.

Speaker 1 Some?

Speaker 1 There are some.

Speaker 3 How'd you shoot on the back nine?

Speaker 3 Good one.

Speaker 1 Do we have the least amount of hobbies as a podcast? Let's see. I have zero.

Speaker 3 You have no hobbies? Vacations?

Speaker 5 Nope.

Speaker 3 That's a good hobby.

Speaker 1 I would be attracted to a woman.

Speaker 3 Max, yelling at... sports on TV isn't a hobby.

Speaker 1 That's job. Yeah, that's true.
Memes, what's your hobby? Oh, Call of of duty okay

Speaker 1 no don't do that memes your hobbies helicopter parenting a turtle

Speaker 1 was that was that

Speaker 1 what's shane

Speaker 1 what didn't you understand sometimes memes just like does he just doesn't speak he just looks i think he just does it i also think memes doesn't understand like common phrases like helicopter parenting you've never heard that no

Speaker 1 like someone who's just a parent who's like obsessive about their child to a point where it's unhealthy oh that makes sense.

Speaker 1 They're always like flying over them, being like, Oh, what are they doing? What's Mr. Pear doing? Did he eat his poop again?

Speaker 1 Yeah, probably. He's a fucking dumbass turtle who can't pick games.

Speaker 3 Yeah. I recently got into zoology.

Speaker 1 Okay. Shane, what's your hobby?

Speaker 1 Well, we know what your hobby is, but what's your real, what's your hobby you can say?

Speaker 1 You know.

Speaker 1 I don't even know, man. Work.
Do you want us to say your hobby then? Sure. Combos.
Cliche plays guitar. No, I just play guitar.

Speaker 1 Dude, you are combos, man.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, PFT, your hobby is guitar.

Speaker 1 That is meant to attract women. I play guitar too, though.

Speaker 3 It's done a very poor job of it. I think guitar and flight simulator, like the flight simulator cancels out the guitar.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 your number one hobby is guitar. You're really good at guitar.

Speaker 3 No, don't say that because

Speaker 1 you think that I'm really good at guitar. But you are really good at guitar.

Speaker 3 I think I'm a slightly above average guitar player. And then I am a chicks love guys who play guitar.
But I'm a below average flight simulator player.

Speaker 1 So what would be oh, Pug has entered. Pug, what is your hobby?

Speaker 1 This should be good. Pug

Speaker 1 going for a walk.

Speaker 1 Good boy. Pug.

Speaker 1 Pug's all the Northern Lights. So this guy's only, I think the only hobbies that he's talking about is guys who who work out a lot and then guys who are like into fashion.

Speaker 3 Maybe. Well, he's a boxer, so maybe his hobby was just beating people up.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 And that is like designed to get chicks because you can protect them.

Speaker 1 Let me Google what hobbies.

Speaker 5 Fishing. Girls love guys that catch big fish.

Speaker 1 Most attractive to women.

Speaker 1 Hobbies. Cooking.

Speaker 3 Cooking. Exercise.

Speaker 1 Outdoor recreation.

Speaker 3 But I've also heard people say, like, isn't cooking feminine?

Speaker 1 Yeah, but I think I think that's something like girls if you're like a really good cook like this guy would say that cooking I don't think cooking is feminine but a guy like this would say that that's feminine yeah politics and pets and we hate yeah I guess pets okay photography and Hank you do photography art and sport I'd assume that's playing the sport not sitting on our asses watching the sport you think that's hot that's attractive we run some pickup

Speaker 1 yeah I mean, we don't have any. I think maybe I could say

Speaker 1 we are probably pretty funny guys.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but that's not a hobby.

Speaker 1 No, it's not. So, yeah, we have nothing.

Speaker 1 We have literally nothing in this podcast in terms of hobbies.

Speaker 3 So this guy, is this guy wrong?

Speaker 3 I think the vast majority of guys do hobbies because

Speaker 3 they want to do something besides work. I think it's only, I think he's just talking about people who exercise.

Speaker 1 That's their hobby. And

Speaker 1 like, it's exercising and like owning a boat.

Speaker 5 Those are the attractive things. Having money.

Speaker 1 Yeah, those are the attractive things to women.

Speaker 1 Gambling, golfing, flight simulators,

Speaker 1 helicopter parenting turtles, combos,

Speaker 1 going for walks,

Speaker 1 max clogging toilets. I don't know.

Speaker 3 Complaining to your deli guy. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Max. You probably clog your shower drain, too, with all that fucking hair.

Speaker 1 Oh, you probably shit in your shower.

Speaker 3 You did the waffle stuff?

Speaker 1 I mean, this is wait. Who told me that there was a

Speaker 1 was it? Mel Gibson? Someone said that Mel Gibson takes a shit in every shower he goes into. That's the hotel.
It can't be true. Every hotel he goes into, he takes a shit.

Speaker 1 That's the funniest thing. It's a funny rumor, though.
Takes a shit.

Speaker 3 No, there's a thing called the waffle stomp.

Speaker 3 It might just be an online thing. I don't know if people actually do it, but people say that they do it.
Do you want to know what it is?

Speaker 1 No, I know what it is.

Speaker 3 I'm going to give people the opportunity opportunity to stop the pop.

Speaker 1 I know exactly what it is.

Speaker 3 Where you shit on the drain and then you stomp on your shit that's on the drain to push it down.

Speaker 1 Shane is ferociously agreeing with you right now. About the Mel Gibson?

Speaker 1 Oh. The waffle stomp.
Is it a thing? It's a big urban dictionary thing. Yeah, Mel Gibson does it.

Speaker 3 Do people actually do that? I don't know.

Speaker 1 That's a hobby. I think it's like a urban dictionary.
It would be a hobby. Max, a lot of people have my back about the Delhi situation, saying very, very was too much.

Speaker 1 shut up

Speaker 1 they did they were like that's a fucking that's offensive to say very very to a deli man people were saying everything no they said that mostly you probably saw like three tweets being like oh yeah big cat you're right you're like that's about right yeah I mean it was like I think it might have been two uh Max

Speaker 3 by the way I got a shipping confirmation I completely forgot that we had ordered you a uh a cheese

Speaker 1 slicer

Speaker 1 so uh that's gonna be a giant box arriving yeah we got that for you ready yeah uh okay uh that's That's the show. Let's do numbers.
We got a little twist here.

Speaker 1 Max and I have, I don't know how long this tradition will last, but we've started a tradition. We're going to at least do it one more week where we just decided we were bored on Thursday.

Speaker 1 We did 40 free throws and

Speaker 1 the winner got the loser's number on Sunday night's show.

Speaker 1 So now We set a line. Credit to me for being a great odds maker.
I set the line at four and a half. I missed the last free throw to only beat Max by four.

Speaker 1 So he did beat me.

Speaker 1 I beat him.

Speaker 1 It was out of 40. I did beat him.
I beat him by four, but the line was four and a half. It was a very fair spread.

Speaker 5 What was the number made?

Speaker 1 Don't worry. I think we made like 32.
We actually shot so bad that we made Pug and Shane leave and then come back and pretend that we had just started. That we were on our last 10 free throws.

Speaker 1 And we're like, all right, so I've made 28 out of 30 and Max.

Speaker 1 It was bad. Whatever.
The camera came on. We shot like shit.
So anyway, Max has my number here, so I get to select a number. If it hits, it counts as Max's win.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 3 I'm all right with this happening one time. This can't be a normal thing because

Speaker 3 I'm matched up against Max now. I can't have Max beating me.
You can't be giving Max extra turns without my permission. PFT.

Speaker 1 If Max wins with my number.

Speaker 1 Do you know how much I have over him for the rest of our lives?

Speaker 1 It will be the biggest Mickey Mouse. Like, you can't win with my number.
Win. Think about it.
Win. He's put himself in such a

Speaker 1 win. I'll reverse it because I've already won.
So if I win with his number, also, PFT, I promise you I will not lose again. Okay.
I will not lose again. Okay.

Speaker 1 So we're going to do at least one more time. I will not lose it.

Speaker 3 And the line's always four. No.

Speaker 1 The line goes.

Speaker 1 So since I lost, it's now three and a half.

Speaker 1 I'll win that. And if I win, then it goes back to four and a half.

Speaker 1 If he wins with my number, that's the biggest cuck move of all time. Win.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know what I've done, PFT here. I've put a

Speaker 1 put us in a very good spot.

Speaker 3 Max knows it too. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, he knows. He's fighting it right now, but he knows it.
He knows it. I mean, I'm not fighting anything, and nothing's happened yet.

Speaker 1 And the reverse is true that if I won with Max's, I would spin it and be like, you can't win on your own.

Speaker 1 I have to take your number to win this.

Speaker 1 He's fucked. He's so fucked.
He doesn't realize what he's done to himself. All right, so I'm going to select select my number just

Speaker 1 regular.

Speaker 1 And then it will be yours.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.
Numbers. 20.
8.

Speaker 3 46.

Speaker 6 3.

Speaker 1 I thought you were going to pick 20, and I didn't want that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 99 pug.

Speaker 1 21. I'll go with 1.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 3 Losers, Hank.

Speaker 1 Max, have you ever gotten this? 46. No, PFT, have you ever gotten this?

Speaker 3 Not yet.

Speaker 1 What was your number, PFT? Eight.

Speaker 1 45. Oh, no, Hank.
So close, man.

Speaker 1 We've already gotten it. Yeah.
So Max just, he couldn't even get it with two numbers. No, that's tough.
Oh, what a loser. Damn, yeah.
Damn. Dude, he's got...

Speaker 1 How many numbers do you need to be able to get this? Probably 100. You can't even do it with two?

Speaker 1 I'd take 100. How many shows have we done on this? Loser.

Speaker 3 How many times have we drawn the lotta ball here?

Speaker 5 76.

Speaker 3 Was that a guess?

Speaker 1 That was a guess.

Speaker 3 You said it very assertively.

Speaker 1 Wait, I want to just do one. This doesn't count for anything other than just for my own fun here.
Max, pick a number that it won't be. I'm not going to be.
Pick one number that it won't be.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to be. Pick one number that it won't be.
Nope.

Speaker 1 Come on, Max. This is for the people.
Pick one number. Pick one number.

Speaker 1 No. One number that it won't be.
No. Why won't you do this? You're being a baby.
Three. Okay.

Speaker 1 47. Wow, Hank, you were on it.

Speaker 1 47 and 45. Looking guys all over.
See? I knew it wasn't going to be three.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go. Hunt to say I'm saving you.

Speaker 1 The days are not dangerous.

Speaker 1 I've been coming for your love of grace. Take

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 Take

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 on.

Speaker 1 I'll be

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 top of

Speaker 1 me as the same.

Speaker 1 I've already said it. It's about me somewhere.

Speaker 1 Further than I said, okay.

Speaker 1 Say unto me

Speaker 1 It's the better to be safe than some say unto me

Speaker 1 It's the better to be safe than some

Speaker 1 take

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 Say

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 I'll be

Speaker 1 young

Speaker 1 when I'm down

Speaker 1 to

Speaker 1 things that you say

Speaker 1 that I've loved. Just lay my flow away.

Speaker 1 There are all the things I've got to remember. You shine away,

Speaker 1 love a true blue anyway.

Speaker 1 Shine away,

Speaker 1 love becoming blue anyway.

Speaker 1 Take on

Speaker 1 me,

Speaker 1 take

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 up.

Speaker 1 I'll be

Speaker 1 gone

Speaker 1 and take

Speaker 1 We're up all night again,

Speaker 1 we're up all night again,

Speaker 1 we're up all night again,

Speaker 1 we're up all night again, lucky

Speaker 1 girl

Speaker 1 nights again

Speaker 1 We're up all night again

Speaker 1 We're up all night again

Speaker 1 We're up all night again

Speaker 1 We're up all night

Speaker 1 We're up all night again Lucky We're up all night to get lucky, we're up on nights to get lucky, we're up all night to get lucky, we're up on nights to get lucky, we're up all night to get lucky.