Julian Edelman, Blake Bortles, The Nuggets Are Back And We Have An Embrace Debate On Whether Or Not Any Of Us Have Hobbies

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have a great, great show with some great friends. We got Julian Edelman on the show talking about the roast last week, talking about Drake May as a prospect, some also fun stories that we'd never heard before.
And then we have longtime friend Blake Bortles checking in. We figured we need to get Blake on before Blake of the year happens in a month and a half.
Always the best guy. Tells us what he's up to.
How retirement's treating him. His construction career.
Relive some old moments. Yeah, so awesome, awesome interviews on a Monday, and we also are going to talk some playoffs.
All the overreactions look foolish now after a weekend of playoff games. We've got a couple tied series.
We've got the Mavs up 2-1, Celtics back on track, and some good hockey that we're going to discuss as well. And it's all brought to you by our friends at DraftKings.
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The crown is yours. Today is Monday, May 13th.
And PFT, let's correct some overreactions. The Nuggets are in fact not dead.
The Nuggets are good at basketball. They didn't forget how to play.
I actually, so it felt like a lot has happened in the last three days of the playoff world.

And the number one story is the Denver Nuggets evening the series against the Minnesota Timberwolves.

And what we said last week, like this is the first time the Nuggets are going to have their back against the wall in the last year and a half of playoffs. And it turns out they answered the bell and they looked awesome.
And Nikola Jokic, who is the best player in the world, who you saw the little doubters creeping out of their holes and being like, ooh, Nikola Jokic shouldn't get his third MVP. He had a masterclass on Sunday night.
Yeah. And Friday night, they played really well uh the the overreaction was I I think it was somewhat warranted though because they looked like shit in the first two games Michael Malone even said he you know what he did he went home and he put together a uh a compilation tape of all the talking heads talking shit about the Nuggets and he was like I didn't do that because I hate those guys I did that because they were right right so he.
So he actually, credit to Michael Malone for respecting the biz and giving Stephen A. Smith all the credit for turning around.
It was so bad. In fact, Stephen A.
Smith, I don't know if you saw this, but after the game, the most recent one where they went up, I guess after Friday's game, Stephen A. Smith said, yeah, I was wrong and I apologize.
I've never heard Stephen A. Smith back to the day that is crazy but i think when we talked about it we were at least just saying what we've seen which was the nuggets look like shit they look lost timber look timberwolves look awesome which they did through two games and then they found out yeah okay we can actually play with these guys that went on friday gave them a lot of confidence it's a weird series because we haven't had a home team win yet correct it's been business trips all around and Jokic was incredible uh all weekend long he had in the two games he had 59 points 21 rebounds 16 assists in those two games uh tonight especially it feels like uh they you know you don't want to say they solve something because this series will go back and forth and now you get the counterpunch from the Wolves.
But Jokic basically, especially with the Murray pick and rolls, was like, oh, I'm just going to stop before I get close to the rim and neutralize Rudy Gobert and shoot these floaters that are there. And he was so awesome.
And then it also helps that Aaron Gordon played out of his mind 11 for 12 from the field was hitting everything like when Aaron Gordon plays like that everything opens up because now when you're doing pick and rolls when you're cutting to the rim he's standing out there he's gonna he's gonna shoot and he's gonna make it and the Wolves defense and and the worst part for the Wolves tonight and I don't want to listen I understand it's emotional for fans when your team is in the playoffs. And you've also got guys that you've ridden for for a while.
Last week I joked about Carl Anthony Towns making the – people talk about the big three, me, Ant, and Rudy Gobert. And I was like, I don't think people talk about that as a big three.
Tonight is why. Because Carl Anthony Towns was fucking dog shit.
And Anthony Edwards was incredible. And they wasted a 44-point night from Anthony Edwards because Rudy Gobert and Carl Anthony Towns were not good.
Well, yeah, Rudy Gobert wasn't great tonight, but the Nuggets did their worst damage when he was off the court. Yeah, but it's just— When he went out, he had two quick fouls, and he went out, and they went on a huge run.
It was like a 24 to six run, 24 to four run, something like that. It's because Rudy wasn't on the court then.
Carl Anthony Towns, I don't understand how a guy his size still doesn't know how to play in the post. He's in the post and if it's Aaron Gordon one-on-one, Aaron Gordon can DM down.
If they send a double team, he panics and looks completely lost. He was 5 for 18 tonight.
And like I said, Anthony Edwards was out of this world. I don't know if there's an actual conversation to be had, but it feels like Nas Reed should be playing more, especially later in the game, and maybe tape sitting Gobert or Carl Anthony Towns.
Remember, that was game one, right?

Nasri came out there and just lit shit up.

This is the frustration of Carl Anthony Towns.

He has all the ability in the world, but then you have nights like tonight

where it's like if you want to be a big three, you can't go five for 18

and waste a 44-point performance from your best player, Anthony Edwards.

I'll put it this way.

If I was cat size, I would be the best basketball player in the history of the world. Yeah.
I really would. And the Nuggets didn't shoot out of this way.
They shot like 57%. Yeah, they shot really well.
And they had the role players playing well on the road. Yeah, Aaron Gordon.
That's what we always say. That's the theme of this series, as we always say.
And I know a game isn't won or lost in one moment, but I do actually think that the game was lost for the wolves uh with 48 seconds left in the first half anthony edwards hit a three to cut the lead to seven 48 seconds left they went to halftime they were down 15 yeah i'd say that the the game was over when jamal murray hit that shot at halftime that was just like they fought all the way there back because they went down you know in. And like, okay, we can go into half, down seven.

That's great.

And he's like, what the fuck just happened?

Somebody do the stats on that for me.

If there's a buzzer beater before halftime in a game.

A 55-footer.

A 55-footer.

I bet you that team goes on to at least cover the spread in the second half.

I do think the Wolves will have a good answer on whatever game, Tuesday night.

Maybe Rudy Gobert just has to have another kid.

Well, maybe they need to have just like another three-day break, and then it flips back. Because this series is buckle up.
That's what I'm going to say. Buckle up for this series.
I was just very impressed by the Nuggets, and I know that they shouldn't be doubted because they won a championship, but they won it somewhat easily, and that's a credit to them. That's not saying it was an easy path,

but this was their first real test of the playoffs in the last couple of years, and it's like, holy shit.

They answered it, and they answered it resoundingly.

We're for real, and we're not going to go down like punks.

Hank, you had something that you looked like

you were going to say earlier.

What do you think?

Back to scared about the Nuggies.

You moved up to the mic. Yeah, I mean, the Nuggets are the scariest team in the West.
You were right. Left in the playoffs, period.
Yeah. Do you think the Wolves will – where do you think this series is going to go? I think it's going to go seven.
I think it's going to go six. Really? Do you think the Nuggets have it in the next two? Unfortunately.
They just figured it out. I hope the Wolves win in six.
The fact that Stephen A. Smith apologized concerns me.
That would concern me deeply, deeply, if I was a Timberwolves fan. Stephen A.
Smith could run somebody over in his car if he was driving it blindfolded, and he'd be like, that person shouldn't have been in the intersection. Well, it's why the Nuggets are the team you want to face the least, because they have the most experience, and this is that time in the playoffs where experience matters and the Nuggets just do not care.
They're not worried about the pressure of Game 5 or 6 or 7 because Jokic is the team leader and he doesn't care. So it kind of bounces off that, whereas Anthony Edwards is 22.
The Thunder are super young. Even the Mavs don't have experience this deep in the playoffs.
So that's why thinking about the championship, if you were to do that, you'd rather play one of those younger, more inexperienced teams. That's why I think the Nuggets are going to roll from here on out.
It was a fun weekend reminder that Jokic is the best player. The way he plays and the pace he plays and the decision-making that he...
He just puts the defense into such a bind when he's on that no one else is really like that and he's passing right off a pick and roll right yeah it's just a big he's a big question that you have to answer and in the shooting before you get to the rim like figuring out exactly where he can he can take apart a defense with the defensive player of the year and really go bear and just seamlessly doing it it's just he's incredible and hank said that he that he doesn't really care but yokich actually would have seen from in the last two games he he very much cares no not care like you saw him a couple times out there getting really heated up like he he deeply cares about this team and he wants to win he might yeah when he gets home he might be like oh shit i wish i was you know was in a horse stable back in Serbia for the next two weeks. But when he's out there with his team, he definitely does care and wants to win very badly.
No, that's not what I meant at all. Obviously, he cares.
He's the best player in the world. I meant more about the pressure of games they get later in the series.
He doesn't feel the pressure. I'd agree with that.
I'd agree with that. He doesn't care if it's game seven or if it's game two.
Yeah, he feels like he's –

He doesn't care if it's the finals or if it's the first round.

The same guy every time, and it's a killer.

But with younger teams, I mean, even –

It's a silent killer.

Even in Celtics in the past, you can kind of see teams pucker up a little bit

as the pressure rises.

He does nothing but success for the Celtics in the past, though.

Something like that.

So rank the four teams out of the West.

Who are you the most scared of? And then all the way down to who you're not scared of at all nuggets one nuggets timberwolves thunder really what if what if kairi what if kairi steps unlucky kairi kairi has gotten smoked in every single game he's played against the Celtics I think since that happened since he stepped on Kyrie's playing out of his mind right now yeah no he's really good I just think the the matchup versus Thunder would be probably harder for the Celtics and the Mavs we actually did a bad job the most important story out of the NBA playoffs this weekend is one that happened on Thursday night right after we got done recording. Somebody had their phone out and played porn during Lucas' press conference after the game.
Yes. It was actually the first time a lot of those reporters had ever heard porn.
Yeah, they were like, my God. What the fuck? I wish Jake Marsh was in the room at that time.
Is there a cat in distress? So what do you think the root cause of that was? My theory is that somebody clicked something and it opened up Safari on their phone,

and the last time they had been on Safari, they were watching porn.

So they got to go private.

They forgot to close that.

Or maybe they accidentally opened up a private tab, and it was still open from last time.

Sometimes I've heard that when you close...

I've heard that if you have it open and you close Safari,

like if you have a YouTube video and it will still be on your home screen

to press play.

Oh, were you?

Yeah, yeah.

I've heard that that could happen.

What was the James Brown video that he watched?

DampLips.

DampLips.com.

A little brunette bitch sucking her trainer's cock.

I'll find it for us.

Hank, why don't you – let's do an experiment.

Maybe pull something up on your phone and then see – press play and then see if it shows up on your home screen. James Brown was – It was definitely damplips.com.
It was damplips.com and it was – Little Blunt. It was Sexy Little Brunette.
Okay. Hold on.
I'm trying to find it.

I deleted it, obviously.

We got to find it.

If I were him, I would never delete that.

Yeah, no.

Leave that up, dude. It stays up.

Well, let people have the fucking link.

Listen, I'm a man.

Yeah.

Are you doing it?

Are you doing it?

Mm-hmm.

All right.

Hank is giving you a test right now. So press play.
It is not showing up. Do you have that Covenant Eyes app where you're not allowed to watch porn? Oh, nope.
There it is. What is it? Oh, it's right there.
Oh, it's right there. Okay.
So now hit it and see if you can get it to play. Yeah.
Okay. Was that fart porn? No No.
What was that? Sound like a fart. I don't trust people, though, that don't X out right away.
Or sexy little brunette bitch sucking. So does that mean when I happen to you? Personal trainer's big cock.
Yeah. I don't trust people who don't X out right away.
I agree. You have to X out right away.
The minute you're just like, what am I doing? If you don't get that i'm saying no that's no no no that's what happens yeah that's that's that's what i'm saying so you close it out walk us through what you just did you you're watching yeah okay you finish you close it out investigative research you close out what do you mean close it out like you just shut your phone and it just stays on the the home i i i know what you're talking about if you watch like a youtube watching and then i close it yeah and then i close my phone like i'm done yeah but it's still damp lips is still up on your phone yeah got it why do they have the share to twitter button on porn videos i mean there's some people who probably want to share yeah and why do they have a comment section in porn videos people gotta sound off the comment section gotta give some tips i love the porn comment section. You get the real takes down there.
Yeah. Who is she? Yeah.
This person fell off. Anybody have a name? Name.
Yeah. At.
Can someone give an at? I hope it devolves into like goat conversations down there. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
This is the goat. This is why she's my goat.
Yeah. By the way, Skip Bayless or Stephen A.
Smith apologizing makes me think that Stephen A. Or Skip Bayless is like, he is not as popular as Stephen A.
Smith. I think that debate is over.
You think Stephen A. won the breakup? He won the breakup.
But I think Skip Bayless won, if you want to say, who stayed true to themselves. Because Skip is still just firing crazy takes with no remorse.
He had one that I'm mad that we didn't come up with. When Frank Vogel got fired from the Suns, he said Frank Vogel led the Lakers to the 2020 championship.
Since then, he's already been fired twice. Shows you how the league viewed the Lakers bubble title, Mickey Mouse.
Yeah, everybody else vogel getting fired twice god damn that's good mickey mouse good detective work also that makes me think uh that how skip bayless has lost two consecutive breakups you would agree that also shannon sharp has been just next level club station so it's like skip bayless is good luck chuck where if you get with skip bayless yeah then your career is about to absolutely take off. I like that.
As soon as you get done not having to talk to Skip Bayless anymore, life becomes so much better. Skip Bayless, try to make Emmanuel Acho popular challenge.
Yeah. Level impossible.
Actually, Skip, if you want to be an intern, I'm part of my take. Yeah.
We'll take you. Yeah, we'll take you on.
We were looking for a Cowboys fan. That'd be great.
What if we got Tiff hooked up with Skip Bayless? Will you do that to Ernestine? I don't know if Ernestine exists. No, she does.
Does she? Oh, yeah. They don't sleep in the same bed during the week.
Yeah, I don't know. Who takes those videos? Ernestine.
It might be Ernestine. Either Ernestine or Wiz Khalifa.
That's it. Yeah.
Right? That's the only two options. Lil Wayne.
Lil Wayne. My bad.
He's best friends with Lil Wayne. He is.
That was close. Wait, who does Wiz- Wale.
He likes Wale, too. Is he root for the Steeler? He's a Pirates fan.
Yeah, he's a Steeler fan. All right.
All right. I knew he was a sports fan, but yeah, Lil Wayne's a Packers fan.
Yeah, look, there's Ernestine right there. Right there on the screen.
Right there. We should talk about the Thunder.
I will not speak because if I speak, I will be in big trouble. Let's talk about the Thunder and Mavs.
I might be out on the Thunder. Okay.
They're young. They're fun.
SGA is awesome. Chet is awesome.
I love Lou Dort, even though this might not have been the best Lou Dort game because they were like, hey, what if we just did UFC to Luka all game? Lou Dort just delivered a perfect knee to the midsection on one of those plays. And Luka's like, I know we said that he lets you know he's hurt he he's actually hurt now

because they just keep hurting him so i think that two things can be true about luca one is he complains about everything yep and the second is he's also tough as fuck also max uh told us after the show on friday he was like when you guys were talking about luca being the new big ben i was just silently being like please don't bring up and bead and bead is the new big ben the new Big Ben. That was our fault.
Yeah. Correction.
Good point, Max. Good point, Max.
I'm out on the Thunder for one reason. They can win me back.
I thought that was so fucking lame that they did hack a Lively with six minutes left. Yeah.
Down five. Yeah.
It was a five-point game, and they started doing hack-a-shack on Derek Lively, who I love.

I always root for the guy who gets hacked to prove them wrong, and he did.

He went eight for 12 from free throws.

You're the one seed, and you're down five in the fourth quarter with six minutes left,

and you have SGA and one of the best players in the NBA,

and you're doing fucking hack-a-lively?

Also-

Come on, man.

Lively is becoming one of my favorite players, one of my favorite role players in the nba yeah he works so hard on defense but that he's fun to watch and when you do there was one time when chet was chasing him around the court yeah like he was playing tag yeah and like lively had to run out of bounds and run back in bounds and chet was just like running out with his arms outstretched like pepe lepew trying to catch the girl cat it was very funny to watch. But you're right.
I do root for the guy that is being singled out as being a shitty free throw shooter. And it just ruins the flow of the game.
The end of the game, it was a great game, and then it just got clunky, and we're going to the free throw line. And again, it's six minutes left.
You're down five. I don't want to see this happen in basketball again where it's like, this is what the analytics tell us.
We got to just start fouling this guy. Play the game out.
And haters of the NBA will say we only have to watch the last two minutes of the game, which are the best parts usually of a game. Yeah.
And they're taking that away from us. Yeah.
It just, I don't know. Again, they can win me back, but I think even Thunder fans probably were a little disappointed in that.
Because you're the one seed. You have a really good team.
You have a lot of young, awesome players that are learning how to play in the playoffs.

And then you're doing this bullshit with six minutes left.

We also should shout out PJ Washington, who's like the best player ever.

27 points.

So this was the first time that Kyrie and Luka have played together on the Mavs.

And one of those two is not the leading scorer on their team.

Yeah.

He's been incredible. I think everyone graded that an F trade when he got traded from the Hornets, but he's been awesome.
And then Kyrie in one-on-one situations at the end of the game. I don't know who else.
I mean, maybe you'd say Jokic one-on-one situation, but he's got to be top three in terms of you need a basket. Just let Kyrie do whatever he's got to do he'll get it I think yeah I don't know if he'd be number one but he'd definitely be number one in terms of guy that I like to watch yeah play basketball with ball in his hands one-on-one at the end of the game and they were actually playing decent defense he's just so good you know what he's really good at and uh I know that Steph Curry did this a few times but I think Kyrie's better the pretending to pick up your move.
Yeah. And you have to watch Kyrie.
Stutter. You have to watch him in slow-mo to watch every time that he does it because he does like nine different moves every time you think he's doing one move.
Right. But he'll pick that hand up and put it next to the ball and take it away so fast that it just gets a defender to just make one small move, hesitate for a second, come up to try to block a shot or get in his way, and then he's past you.
But he does that. It's so smooth and so fun to watch.
Yeah. Especially when he does three between the legs, two behind the back, spin move, floater in the lane with his left hand.
Yeah. It's poetry.
It's incredible. So I'm going to let the Thunder maybe win me back because they are so young and so fun to watch, but that pissed me off.
You're the one seed. You're a good basketball team.
You're a really good basketball team. They thought they had something.
I just – it just ruins the flow of the game, and Derek Lively proved that he was up for it. Yeah, so what's his free throw percentage normally? Let's find it.
You said he's he's eight for 12 right but you know it's

some you know it's some nerd i bet you the guys on the thunder are like this is bullshit we don't want to do this yeah it's a nerd there's a nerd it's a nerd we haven't we have a nerd in the building in oklahoma city right and he's and he's got too much power so we got to figure out how to get this nerd out of here uh all right derek lively and this is taking a lot for me to defend a Duke player like this.

He's 50%, 50.6 percent in his career from free throw but he is also again watching him especially on the defensive end he's a fun player yeah yeah i mean the mavs are they they look good they look good not scared they're number four on hank's scared of teams yeah uh okay hank would you like to talk about your game? Yes, I would love to. Feels like Jason Tatum listened to everyone.
And by the way, we weren't the only ones. I think actually we were probably the nicest of the things that were said about Jason Tatum because there was a lot of people who were like, he's just flat out not the guy.
Yeah, haters. If you remember, our answer to the question was yeah, and he

was awesome on Saturday night.

Yeah, he's playing super aggressive, wasn't hitting

his threes, but still

driving to the hoop, got 30 points the hard way.

Also, he's an incredible rebounder.

He doesn't get enough credit for that, and they need that

with Chris Stops out.

And he's an incredible playmaker. He gets

double, triple teamed every time. He's good at

getting the rock to his teammates. Great Drew Holiday game.
First time I feel like he really showed up big in the playoffs. And you can definitely notice how different the defense is without Porzingis.
Getting him back, they're going to need him back fully healthy. He could be back next game, right? Yeah, we're at the several.
Yeah, they should save him until next series. It's not necessary, but in the beginning of the game, when Horford's the biggest guy in the lineup, it's a different defense.
So what if the Cavs win the next one? At that point, are you like, get Kristaps back? Yeah, you might start having those conversations. You might start having those conversations.
If he's fully healthy. You might? The proverbial you.
You. We.
Yes. Okay, I got it.
I have a question for you about the Celtics. Are the Celtics going to go an entire playoff? Let's say they go to the finals.
I think they'll be in the finals. We don't know what's going to happen in the finals.
But will they be the first team to ever get to the finals without playing a single memorable playoff game? It's crazy. Every game is either they kick the shit out of the opponent and their two losses are they got the shit kicked out of them.
They haven't played in one big fourth quarter moment yet. And that's not a knock on them because they're really, really good.
I saw a stat. They had a 20-point lead in 52% of their games this year.
So it's not their fault that they're just better than everyone, especially in the East. But isn't it crazy? They haven't had – I know you're watching it differently, but every single game they've played so far in the playoffs have just been laughers one way or the other.
I mean, it's only two losses, but that's just what it's been. Yeah, like there's probably like a warriors maybe the warriors runs but even the losses were probably closer because that's that's been the two weird yeah it's weird right right it's like not even dominated every other game right so big cat i have a question for you yeah if you were a celtics fan actually max i have a question for you oh yeah boss maxachusetts max uh as a celtics fan would you be concerned at all going into the finals if you haven't played any close games because you don't know how to win close games? No.
You want me to apologize for beating the shit out of teams? Let's go, Max. Or getting the shit kicked out of you by teams? That's fine.
You want me to apologize for winning? People lose games. Teams lose games.
Put it on a quote. I'll let the West go battle it out game by game.
We just keep winning over here in Boston. Fuck it.
Love that. Max is really fucking good at being in Boston.
Yeah, he's really good. He's from Massachusetts.
Yeah, no, it's not even a knock on the Celtics. They just haven't.
Like, there's been the Knicks-Sexers series was like every single game was a war.

Even the Knicks-Pacers obviously today wasn't.

But, like, there's been some memorable games in these playoffs,

and Celtics have just not been part of any of them.

Because they're just so much better.

They're so much better.

Right, right.

It's not their fault.

And the two losses are weird.

Two losses where they got the shit kicked out of them.

So you think that would you be – I guess it doesn't matter.

But it's weird to think, like, they could get to the – Oh, I don't get – yeah guess it doesn't matter, but it's weird to think like they could get to the.

Oh, I don't get it. Yeah.

It doesn't matter at all.

Right.

At all.

It doesn't matter.

And they'll smoke whoever wins the Knicks Pacers.

Would you rather beat the Knicks or the Pacers?

The Knicks.

So you want the Knicks.

Are you saying that because the Knicks have like two people left?

No, I just love beating New York little brother.

Pacers though, a little revenge for the in-season tournament. Yeah, who could forget? But if you played the Knicks, then you'd also get to do the double duty of after you beat them, be like, here come the excuses.
You're like, you're already doing that ahead of time, where it's like, I want to play the Knicks because they will make excuses for not having any players, which by the way, that's a legitimate excuse. I think if you're the Knicks, if all of your players are injured, but then you get to, you just have a, it's like a car that he just doesn't change the oil.
Like you just, you just roll the tires out and he's rolling on the rims and he's like, all right, let's just keep going. I got another 20 miles in this thing.
He wanted to keep his starters in the fourth quarter too.. He felt like it tonight.
As long as I've known Big Cat was when Tibbs was the Bulls coach and he's always said it, but he just runs people out. So this is the discussion now with the Knicks, and I don't know if you guys saw, but I weighed in in the fact that it's just you can look at this however you want to look at it because Tibbs does run his guys very hard I know that no Knicks I think were in the top 10 in minutes played this season so he he maybe has figured it out a little bit uh but they're they're gassed right now and they're gassed because they have injuries so So it's like a chicken and an egg.
I don't think that he specifically has caused this situation that the Knicks are in where it's like Julius Randall hurt his shoulder on a, like going like Jaime Jaquez play, which was weird. OG's always hurt and he was traded halfway through the season.
So we didn't even get the full Tibbs treatment. Brunson, you say he he was like 14th in minutes and he has he's clearly not 100 he doesn't seem like he has the same burst in the last couple of games but but you have to play him but you have to play him and then josh hart yeah he's been played to death and he looks gassed but again he has no one else to play so in a weird way like yes tibbs does do that he plays his guys really hard and he always is playing like in the middle of February he's like you guys got to go as hard as possible but I think this one situation like it's kind of just fluke injuries and I don't I don't know if you can blame him 100% for this yeah if it's a shoulder you can't like that stuff happens people get hurt I think Bogdan had a wrist when he showed up.
So I don't know which I get. And then Mitchell Robinson is kind of injury prone too.
So I don't know. He does.
It's crazy not to say like Knicks fans who would say like Tibbs is completely blameless in all of this. That's nuts.
He does play his guys hard. I don't think that he caused these injuries this time.
It was the Warriors, right, where they had all those injuries in the NBA finals that one year. Yeah.
And Klay and Kevin Durant. Klay and KD.
Nobody was like Steve Kerr treats his guys like shit. Yeah, it's like those guys played a shitload of extra games every single year, and their summer didn't start for like an extra three months because they went to the finals.
It sucks to watch the Knicks run out of gas. I don't know.
Maybe the Mecca is the great equalizer because it does feel. What was that? Did you have your phone still open? Sorry.
No, yeah. My bad.
I just think it's funny that we asked Hank to pull up a random porn video and he went straight to Brazilian fart porn. Yeah.
We also should give credit to the Pacers because the Pacers played great. I mean, that three on Friday night from Nembhardt was incredible.
Yeah. That was a total don't shoot, don't shoot, don't shoot.
Holy fuck. He shot it and it went in.
And the first quarter. That first quarter, you're right, probably doesn't happen at the Mecca.
Right. But it happened.
It happened today. And T.J.
McConnell, by the way oh so fun to watch play him I've or I got I got a quote from uh I think it's from heart he said TJ McConnell is annoying little shit love it but he said that in like an endearing way he's like I think that's how people talk about me too yeah I love watching this guy play but it's make t-shirts with his face annoying little shit he uh it does feel like the pacers are the worst team right now for the knicks to just lose everyone because they push the pace they're young and they do have depth and so it's i mean they then they deserve a lot they they could not miss today and they held serve at home i don't think they've lost a home playoff game so i they're fun to watch i mean they're

young and they're fun like they score they score they score again they're playing good defense too

again i don't know how much of that is the knicks just not having anybody to play basketball but

they don't they traditionally don't play defense now they're playing a little and i think that

jalen brunson is one of those guys that will just never admit that he's hurt even though he's

clearly hurt.

Yeah.

Uh,

and it's,

he even said after the game,

um,

he asked if, if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if,

if, if, if, if, has less burst, and he said, I'm fine. I'm fine.
When you've got to say I'm fine twice, you're just the I'm fine dog in the burning house. This is fine.
Yeah, but Jalen Brunson will never make an excuse. He kept on saying that.
He's like, why would I say that we're shorthanded? We just lost. who really lost they were actually not the knicks it was villanova yeah villanova took a bad l today all their guys yeah dante di vincenzo was incredible on friday night wasn't able to do it they they look tired they look very very tired and that is partially tibbs but again i don't think the injuries were like i don't think you can point to all of them and then people will bring up like Derrick Rose.
I got a bunch of those replies when I'm saying Derrick Rose was going to get in. He shouldn't have been in the game that he got injured.
The first ACL injury. Derrick Rose was going to like his body was not able to handle the NBA.
Like he a smaller guy playing. He had ankle injuries before he got to the NBA.
Like it sucks. It sucks that it happened that way.
But I don't think Tibbs was the reason why Derrick Rose had injuries. But counterpoint's a fun narrative.
Well, he shouldn't have been in the game. That was the part.
It was against the Sixers in that first-round matchup, and he was in the game. We were up like 20, and it was like, why are you in the game? But if you ask me, if he wasn't in the game that specific time, would Derrick Rose just never tear his ACL? I would probably say that's a far fetch like you know dream that yeah if you dig into the numbers there's definitely some loophole but i do like hank simplifying it down to like it's a car and he's not changing the oil yeah no he coaches hard i'd rather have him as my coach than not he's a fucking great coach and he always has teams overachieving with with guys like that shouldn't be doing what they're doing and that's kind of the story of this Knicks season they've been the only thing I'll say to Knicks fans I don't like is them using Julius Randall as like if we had Julius Randall they fucking killed that guy last year and he sucked but they like remember they ripped down his poster and they were like fuck him get him out of here he sucked in the playoffs yeah he's.
Yeah, he's very – Newt fans are bad fans. I don't think they're bad fans, but you can't say like, oh, but if we had Julius Randle after last year when you're like, get him off our team.
They're fake fans. No, they're not.
They're not fake fans. They win one game.
Bing bong, Maxie. They're not fake fans.
I think Knicks fans are some of the best fans. Max, you think that this is like a badge of honor for the Sixers?

Like you beat the Knicks up so bad that they're not even able to get to a next series?

Well, you hurt Mitchell and beat hurt Mitchell Robinson.

I mean, just being a little bitch back here.

He was like, oh, Julius Randle was hurt last year, so that's why.

He was playing the entire playoffs last year.

But you hated him.

No, but nobody knew that he was hurt.

He was playing hurt, and then everybody was like, oh, that's our guy.

Okay, fine. That's a fair retort.
Did they put the poster back up? Yeah. No, Julius Randle's fine.
Julius Randle fucking blows. We eat him, beat him to lunch.
Oh, but we're giving excuses to people who are playing hurt? We're not giving excuses. I love this.
We're saying that people found out that he was hurt. Okay, that's fair.
That's fair. That's a fair response.
Nobody knew he was hurt. And me likes to tell everybody that he's hurt.
That's true. I love Max and Memes going, this is what to expect on April Fool's Day and part of my take next year.
Yeah. Max and Memes podcast.
Memes, you do realize from the outside looking in, it's like no fan base was meaner than they were to Julius Randle lastall last year and then to be like well if we had julius randall yeah no everybody was mean and very mean and then they found out that he was hurt and they're like uh did anyone did the did anyone issue like a my bad full page ad maybe yeah no was there like a whoops sorry on it's just oh next season act like it didn't happen you think he forgets that that happened no definitely not but I think there was like a whoops? Sorry. We just moved on.
It's just, you know, next season. Act like it didn't happen? Yeah.

You think he forgets that that happened?

No, definitely not, but.

Just throw some dirt on it. I think there was like a story of his wife watching them rip down his statue or his poster.

Somebody, there should be one guy.

Spike Lee should apologize to him.

Yeah, we need someone to apologize just so that everyone else can move on.

Because I guarantee you he has not moved on.

No.

He's probably faking this playoff so that he doesn can move on. Because I guarantee you he has not moved on.

No.

He's probably faking this playoff

so that he doesn't give you little shits anymore joy in your life.

True.

Memes?

No, he was doing so good before he got hurt, too.

Yeah, because he wanted to break your heart.

He was, but that's not playoffs.

He wanted to give you all the hope

because you treated him so badly last year. No, he's fine.
He loves New York. So we got, I don't know, there's going to be, I mean, Hank calling Knicks fans fake fans.
No, say what you want about Knicks fans, but they're legit fans. They don't abandon the team in years of sadness.
The Mecca still sells out when they sucked. I think Hank's just looking at Rico

and just being like, all Knicks fans are Rico.

He's a fan of himself.

No, Rico's a real Knicks fan.

He's the only one.

But there's plenty of people that just hop on now

that were in the playoffs.

Every team that does well has a bandwagon.

That's sports.

I don't know.

I think it's more than...

I've been to the Mecca for Celtics games when the Knicks sucked and it was like 50% Celtics fans. I don't know.
I think New York is like a true, true basketball city. So when they're good, you obviously see it more boisterous, but those are real basketball fans.
Yeah, maybe it's not real Knicks fans. Got it.
I love it. We're going to get – I hope we – it's probably not going to happen, but I want Nick Celtics just to see how much Hank pisses off the entire season.
It's good. It's what he does best.
Get it going. Okay.
Should we talk some hockey? Hank, the Bruins have just gotten beat up with some cheap shots a lot of cheap shots to the star players that one that hl isn't doing anything wait but we got to give credit to what who's the guy who cheap sharted no no no here's why i got to give credit it took like 17 slow-mo like alternate angle shots for people to fully see the fact that he punched Marshawn. He did a really good job with that.
It was a great cheap shot to the point. We had to wait for the alternate angle to come out, which was I think the next day.
Yeah. We didn't get the actual angle of him throwing the punch until later.
All we saw was the glove kind of emerging from behind his body. So if he fooled high definitiondefinition, like 75-inch plasma TVs, he definitely fooled the refs that were watching that happen in real time.
So he got away with it. He definitely punched me in the face.
Now, there were a lot of people that were throwing around retaliatory clips, response clips online to all the Bruins fans that were complaining that showed Marshawn punching people in the face with a gloved hand from earlier in the series. So it's like, I think Marchand would probably do something like this too, but he was just on.
There was also another hit that, that he had at the end of the game where Marchand dove head first into somebody else's head and they made head to head contact, which also might've been the reason why it was out today with a concussion. So it might not have that cheap shot although he was definitely concussed but they brought him back in the game afterwards yeah absolute cheap shot and then i mean but you have to admit i agree as a cheap shot he he sucker punched him but in terms of cheap shots he did such a good job of hiding the sucker punch that we weren't able to figure it out for a while i don't know i something's fishy with the nhl and this panthers team i can't i can't put my finger on it i don't understand why but that happened and it's like you know why does it take the next day for the camera angle to come out because it existed they could have they probably had it toronto probably had it in real time they didn't suspend him which is crazy and then today same guy cross-checked charlie coil into swayman and so he couldn't you know block the shot and then hit a goal in clear as day goalie interference i'm not you know a hockey head but they reviewed it he cross-checked a guy into the goalie which interfered from the goalie being able to save the goal, and they didn't call it.
And then the Bruins challenged it, lost the challenge, so they came back on a power play, and it was like the Bruins didn't have a shot for the next seven minutes, it felt like. I didn't watch the game on Friday night.
I just saw a bunch of people tweeting from our own company being like, why is the crowd so silent? I thought it was one or two tweets. I mean, it's the lulls of a hockey game.
Bad sports now? I was just asking. Again, I did not watch the game, so I have no idea.
It was rocking. It was fake fans.
It was rocking today. Yeah, and the playoffs, they get a bunch of fake fans, bandwagoners come in, don't know when to cheer.
You don't see them throughout the regular season i'm a fake bruins fan i don't i don't i have no problem saying that but the bruin the the people that are fans of the bruins and go to the games are are die hard so probably more than any other sport in boston like there's you know the percentage of usually it's the case for fake fans versus diehards and like the bruins true bruins fans are eat live breathe die so you say that that hit was would you say it's a dirty play the sucker punch yeah yeah that's interesting because your own coach said that it wasn't dirty oh he said it was outside the lines but it wasn't dirty outside the line yeah but not dirty not dirty wait so I don't know what the difference is so there's inside the lines play yeah it's normal hockey play normal hockey play good hockey plays what they say there's outside the lines uh-huh then there's dirty then there's dirty afterwards and then is there anything after that scumbag i think after that maybe scumbag dangerous cheap shot assault uh yeah a horrifying act of violence yeah would be next up after that so oh wow so this is kind of a loophole like this is the new this is a new money ball for hockey we need to build a hockey team that knows how to play outside the lines but never dirty but not dirty yeah just up to that line wow you want to go right up to the line of playing outside the line yeah does that make sense we should actually do some research on this and we should should try some outside-the-lines plays on Hank, but never get dirty. Not dirty.
We won't get dirty. And just see what happens.
Yeah, see what happens. Oh, yeah.
So, yeah, you say see what happens, which is essentially the Bruins' response after that alleged cheap shot that was outside the lines. And then nothing really happened.
No one really took a run at him. There was some scuffling.
I mean, what are you supposed to do? You're down in the series. You can't just be giving up penalty minutes.
They did take a couple penalties that were clearly just like rage hits, essentially. Yeah, that one in the third period rocked.
I love Pat Maroon, by the way. But they're down in the series.
They've got to scratch and claw for everything they get. The NHL is trying to rig a Panthers-Rangers Eastern Conference Finals.
They'd much rather have that than Bruins-Rangers, yeah. It's sad.
What is that? What are they rigging that for? I'm trying to figure that out. Anti-Original Six bias? They wanted Hurricanes-Panthers? No, they want Panthers-Rangers.
Okay. But the Hurricanes won this weekend.
So maybe they want Hurricanes-Panthers? They got to get sales. Yeah, they want Hurricane, traditional hockey towns.
Right. Raleigh.
Now, speaking of that series. Rangers fans legit.
The Mecca, the Rangers games are popping. Memes.
You were out on a bachelor party this weekend, so you were not here on Thursday night. But one underrated part of this show is Meme's hatred for Rangers fans is actually maybe stronger than his love for any of his own teams.
So where are you right now? Because they look awesome. I know they lost in overtime.
Was it overtime? Yeah. Overtime on Saturdayurday where are you uh i'm i'm at the point the i i said the hurricanes it wasn't overtime i don't think no it wasn't yeah uh they won power play goal with like three minutes left yes i was watching and i forgot it yeah the rangers are really good but the hurricanes goalie is playing absolutely dog shit this entire seat series so it's like one of those, you know.
I don't think, the Rangers are really good, but the Hurricanes goalie is playing absolutely dog shit this entire series. So it's like one of those, you know.
The Rangers are definitely good. I don't think they're...
So you're not worried? I'll be worried if it's like... The Rangers are very good.
2-0 against the Panthers next series. That's worry level maximum.
and what if the home the home ice

advantage for them

that was

yeah

what if the

Rangers

best best

left in the

playoffs

yeah what if

well yeah

especially since

the Coliseum's

gone

wait say that

again

you heard what

I said

Hank said the

Rangers have the

best home ice

advantage I said

especially since

the Coliseum's

gone and you

sold out

no the Canucks

the Canucks is

probably up there

okay so but Thank you. Hank said the Rangers have the best home ice advantage.
I said especially since the Coliseum's gone and you sold out. No, the Canucks is probably up there.
Okay, but what are you going to do if the Rangers win the Cup? They're not going to win the Cup. Okay.
I want him there. That's a great place for us to have him.
They're not. I want him there.
No, I'm saying I want him in a spot where he's basically saying to himself there's 0% chance they can win the cup. And how could you say a team that's up 3-1 in the second round has a 0% chance to win the cup? They've got one of the best.
The parade if they win. Yeah, you have to cover that.
One of the best goaltenders. Probably their best goaltender ever.
Oh, I like that. Stir the pot.
Okay, wait. So, Memes, why do you hate Rangers fans so much? They're just the worst.
They're just the same as, like, Yankee fans. You know, they just think they're the best of all time.
They've won one Stanley Cup in, like, the last hundred years, and they just think they're the fucking shit. But they have won a Stanley Cup more recently than the Islanders.
Yeah, who cares? We won four in a row. I also love the idea of Memes walking past MSG and looking at, and one night being like, this is the best place on earth.
Then the next night, he walks past, he's like, I fucking hate this place. I mean, it's a basketball stadium.
Yeah. It's a Billy Joel stadium.
Yeah. Yeah, Billy Joel and Nick's.
I fucking hate the Rangers. Everybody on the bachelor party was a Rangers fan, so they were just all celebrating.
I was like, this sucks. Sounds like fun.
Yeah. The stars look good.
And then now the shocker of the playoff, we're watching it with eight minutes left. The Oilers look like they might lose this game.
My God. Four or two.
Canucks are just going to be painful. Are the Canucks a team of destiny? So many close goals here.
I don't know. Would we consider them team of destiny right now? The way Biz described them last week when he was on was like, no one expected them to be here.
They won a very tough division. And everyone's like, nice story, but they're not going to win at all.
I think they might be team of destiny. I do love their own crowd, too.
Yeah, and the Canucks have one of the scariest propositions in all sports

is that if they get to the final and don't win the Cup,

they'll just burn their whole city down.

That's true.

They've done it multiple times.

Yeah, they love to tear that.

Also, I was going to say, if they don't win the Cup,

then they know that they're not going to get another chance at it for, like, 15 years.

Yeah.

Like, Edmonton, if they lose in the Stanley Cup this year, they're going to be like, this fucking blows. But we've got McDavid.
We'll be back. Good young players.
If the Oilers lose this round, that would be a big disappointment. Yeah.
Big disappointment. Yeah, so it looks like the Canucks might win this game.
We'll update it as we go along in the show. Hank, do you think there's any chance that the NHL leadership in Toronto

is fucking the Bruins because you guys beat the Maple Leafs

every year in the playoffs?

Potentially.

Look into that.

Yeah, I could see that.

Also, if that were the case, can they just have Toronto beat you guys

in the playoffs every now and again? I'm trying to help you out. I'm trying to connect some dots for you.
Yeah, I mean, the NHL, if they were smart, if they were like the NBA, they would have had a Canadian Stanley Cup final at this point. I just want one team.
Yeah. It has to happen.
I want a team from Canada in the Cup. It would be the greatest.

Yeah.

I do not care.

It's such a fun series.

It doesn't matter what two teams.

Yeah, right now, I don't care who wins,

but it would be nice to have a Canadian team in the Stanley Cup finals here.

Yeah, when's the last?

Oh, I guess the...

1990.

No.

No, last in it.

Last in it.

The Canadians, right?

Weren't they in the bubble?

Didn't they lose to, I want to say the bubble.

I want to say the bubble. I want to say they lost to this is going to test our hockey knowledge memes.
You want to help me out here? No. Want to help me memes? Lightning.
I think they lost the lightning, right? Yep. In 2021 was maybe it was the year after the bubble.
Yeah. Yeah.
Bubble year. It was a very forgettable one because the Lightning smoked them.

And I feel like there were no fans.

So that was also like hockey with no fans might be.

We got over football with no fans because it's still football,

but hockey with no fans feels so weird.

Wait, it was the Lightning and the Canadiens. They're both in the East, right?

Oh, yeah.

But wasn't there a –

Yeah, no, but I think they did a weird bubble thing,

right? Those are two Eastern teams.

I know that. That is.

Alright, we gotta figure this out.

You think they just took away divisions because of...

I can't remember.

I'm just looking it up. Stanley Cup

Finals. We need a goal

here. We need a goal here.

This is bad. Alright, here

we go, boys. I'm gonna find this.
I'm say something yeah i i remember it was weird they yeah because they did the pods remember they did the pods yeah there was that weird system they had to like finish out the yeah it was just the canadian shit the canadian teams had like a different yeah oh because they had different COVID restrictions, so they had to play in their own pods and then come. That's right.
That's a weird. That's a question you'll get wrong in trivia.
God damn. That would have been so awesome, though, if they had won the bubble championship through the Canadian pod, and then everybody would be like, yeah, Canada won it, but it's really Mickey Mouse.
Yeah. And then, yeah, the Canucks, when they burned the city down when they lost to the Bruins.
I'm looking right now. The Senators played the Ducks in 2007, and the Oilers lost to the Hurricanes in 06.
Yeah, fucking someone's got to win one from Canada. What's the problem, Hank? Mrs.
Ice. Oh, Mrs.
Ice. I know.
I need a goal, too. They've had like five shots that should have been goals.
They have 40 shots. Mrs.
Ice can't lose. Not on Mother's Day.
Yeah, but it would also be perfect. They're meant for each other.
Mrs. Ice lost on Mother's Day.
I feel like we're getting a goal. We have to.
We have to. It's Mrs.
Ice. She can't lose this.
Okay. Let's do Can we get Ernestine off the TV? She's been staring at her.
She's an industry plant. She's not real.
Put damp lips back up. No, these are just more pictures of Ernestine.
What are you doing, Max? Stop. I thought he wanted more.
I thought he wanted more. Put Sidney Sweeney up with it.
Remember that time you just started searching for her? Yeah. I wasn't searching for her.
I was looking at things that were trending. You were bored.
Okay. Let's do Who's Back of the Week.
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You remember the movie Dumb Money? Yes. That was, by the way.
Dumb Money was in it. Yeah, Dumb.
First tweet since 2021. Whoa.
Dumb Money and the Patriots documentary. Two instances in the last, like, three months where I've watched something on TV, and I'm just, like, taking a break from work for a little bit, and then Dave Portnoy's face comes out.
Yeah. Pops up.
And Johnny Manziel. Yep.
back online now oh some weird shit's about to go down i want in this time yeah what's what's he telling people i'll buy it there's no context or anything it's just this meme so no one really knows i'm gonna retweet it yeah i'm gonna buy it and then i'm gonna retweet it with the eyeballs i might even start holding it before i buy it so this guy is the guy who did the GameStop stuff. Yeah.
Which I going to buy it, and then I'm going to hold it. I'm going to retreat it with the eyeballs.
I might even start holding it before I buy it.

So this guy is the guy who did the GameStop stuff.

Yeah.

Which I've never had more FOMO because I'm just convinced as a lifelong loser, if I don't get it the minute it happens, I'm the guy who's going to jump on

and then lose everything.

But I sat and watched for weeks where it just kept on going up. I was like, God damn it.
Is that back up? I don't know. Because I still have some.
I really, really want to be in on this one. I really, really want to nail this one.
Yeah. So just, oh, no, that looks like it's still down.
Yeah, it's still down. Okay.
Okay, but we're back. Stonks.
So I'm putting on alerts for Roaring Kitty. Who's back? Stonks.
He's going to tell us what to do? Does he just say what to do and then we all... Is this like the tunnel of chaos? He says, I like the stock.
Like, could I... If he likes the stock, then it's good stock.
Could I DM Roaring Kitty right now and be like, hey, Mr. Roaring Kitty, I'd like to win $20,000.
Yeah. Done.
Yeah. I'll make it happen.
Yeah. Okay, we're back.
Get him on the show. We got to all get in.
Yeah, I got to talk to my guy and get more information. Do you just mean Jack Mack? Greer.
Okay. Yeah.
We got our top guys on it. Top minds on it.
Rory and Kitty, come on part of my take. Yeah, please.
Hank, who's your who's back? Who's back of the week is Rory. Yeah.
What do you do? He dominated Quail Hollow, won the... Wells Fargo.
Wells Fargo. Shout out Jake.
Did a great job. Jake Marsh was on the call.
Max played well, finished eighth. Had an eagle in the first hole.
Jake called it. That was a great moment.
Yeah. Touching stuff.
Jake doing Bing Bong Maxi for Max Homo was awesome. Yep.
Yeah. it was great.
But Rory, I feel like he's the king of winning the championship right before major. Then everyone talks about him.
It's a major week. Right.
He's going to win a major and then he like misses the cut. So who's back? Rory fooling us about him being back.
Yeah. Scotty Sheffers still hasn't had his baby.
He has had his baby. Scotty Sheffers had his baby.
Congratulations. He had his baby right before Mother's Day? I'm pretty sure.
I'm pretty sure there was... I saw a tweet that was like, it's not out there official, but he's on the...
Did you just violate HIPAA? No, he's doing media stuff at Valhalla. With his baby? No, but I'm pretty sure it's confirmed.
Following birth to child. Yeah.
All right. Congratulations.
When did that baby happen?

Eric shared the news Saturday afternoon, so he just had his baby.

Congratulations.

Yeah, this is nothing beneficial.

That's how I saw it.

Okay.

So congratulations on the baby.

Yeah, he's going to.

I mean, my son turned one today.

That was Mother's Day.

Sucks.

I have the same thing with my first son. Two years ago was Father's Day.
Sucks. Just get robbed of your day.
Swagger jacked. Big time.
By a baby. By a fucking baby.
Charlotte Stingray still has not given birth. My kids did not.
My older kids did not understand the concept that the presents were not for them. They're like, but the baby can the presents and they had a good point yeah because i try i sat him on the present and i like tried to show him how to like rip the wrapping paper didn't do anything and then my other two kids were like see we told you and then they opened all his presents your daughter's like is this chucky cheese yeah this was it was a master class by them they dominated me on that i've never understood that meme with the guy that's like holding out his hand for the butterfly.

And he says, is this something?

Yeah.

You know what I'm talking about?

But it seems like that's your daughter with everything.

Is this Chuck E. Cheese?

Is this Chuck E. Cheese?

Did you see an update on Chuck E. Cheese?

They're getting rid of the original Chuck E. Cheese mascot in almost all their locations.

What?

Yeah.

What?

The scary one.

Oh, the rat?

The super scary rat.

Yeah, the rat one.

Yeah.

No, I think they're just phasing it out. Maybe sign that they're going out of business, that I got to get there and do my part and keep Chucky.
Wait. I might hold Chuck E.
Cheese. Look at this.
Chuck E. Cheese animatronic band will be phased out by the end of this year.
It is scary. You know what this means, though? This means that they're going to have to get rid of the actual mascot, mascot meaning that there are gonna be hundreds of these animatronic oh we gotta buy scary mascots to purchase we gotta buy one we have to buy one we need one of these yeah we need one of the chuck the charles entertainment cheese mask i will get back in my auction phase i lie i had one briefly where i was just trying to buy stuff uh when dominic's an old grocery store in chicago I was going out of business trying to buy like carts and stuff.
This, this, we got to get this.

If someone, if someone,

if someone, briefly where I was just trying to buy stuff when Dominic's an old grocery store in Chicago was going out of business trying to buy like

carts and stuff.

This, we got to get this.

If someone wants to gift us one, great.

Otherwise, we'll do it the old fashioned way

and we'll figure out a way to get it.

We need one in the office.

Yeah.

We need one when you walk in the office

because then it's Chuck E. Cheese.

I can tell my kids.

Then you can tell your daughter.

Every fucking time we come here,

we come here almost every week and it's Chuck E. Cheese.

That's a problem solved right there.

Yep.

All right.

What was your who's back?

Oh, Rory.

That was like one of those always sunny skits where we zoom out.

We're like, oh, Hank, you're still here?

Rory's back.

He won the Wells Fargo.

Jake, Max.

Scotty Scheffler.

Scotty Scheffler.

Scotty Scheffler won his last start before PGA Championship.

Roy won his last start.

Brooks won his last start.

Oh, the big three.

Okay.

Storylines.

I'm excited to bet it.

And where is the PGA?

Valhalla.

Okay.

Love it.

Let's get some fucking wagers going.

I don't know.

What?

I was thinking about reloading on the live thing, but probably not. Yeah, you gotta take the baby bump, right? You're gonna feel like an idiot if you bet against Scotty.
Oh my god. Oh my god, they missed an open netter.
Mrs. Ice.
This is the worst. Mrs.
Ice has two minutes for glory. It's on Mother's Day.
Is Mrs. Ice watching intently on a laptop? Has to be.
Has to be. Has to be.
She rips her shirt off afterwards. All right, so who's your pick to win? Brooks.
Okay. Smart.
Good man. We'll do some golf stuff this week.
We'll figure out. We'll get some.
I kind of like that they got the PGA Championship earlier, but it always does sneak up on me because remember how it used to be pga championship was last and no one would care yeah like fuck it we're gonna hop the line oh oh this is ice that's a good goal mrs ice she did it let's go mrs ice what a fucking goal all right uh pft your who's back My my who's back of the week is horse racing oh because it is preakness week where we'll have randy on we're gonna have randy on mystic dang going for the second leg of it and we talked a little bit about secretariat on friday's show yeah and about how jason kelsey thinks always retracted his this horse did steroids take and then horse people went after him Friday, I had a little bit of time on my hands, so I got on a flight, I was on my way to New York, and I just thought, let me just do some research about a good old secretariat, or a good friend's secretary. See if these claims against him have any merit to them.
Couple things. Secretary, when horses, when they're elite, like Secretary, they typically go on to have fruitful children, right? Yeah.
Right? Their cum is worth millions of dollars. Yeah.
Secretary had 663 children. I don't know what you call them.
He had 663 ponies. That's a fucking lot of child support.
Well, no. He's actually a deadbeat dad.
Okay one of his daughters was just found in the woods somewhere, and they had to rescue her. And now she's still alive.
Jesus Christ. And she's almost dead, but she got rescued, and she had to be adopted by a foster agency because Secretary is such a piece of shit.
Anyways, he had 663 children. Guess how many of his kids won a triple crown race out of 663.
And he was probably being bred to the fastest female horses. I don't want to say zero to ruin this for you.
I want to say five. Zero.
Ah, there we go. The answer is zero of them.
That's me for not saying zero. Actually, that's wrong.
Oh. One.
Okay. Whoa.
The answer is one. Whoa.
I said five. Yeah, you said five.
One of them won two legs, not the Kentucky Derby, and then one came in second place in the Derby. Got it.
So his genes, not that strong. Some people will be like, oh, but down the line, if you follow the trail enough, then you'll see that his grandkids' grandkids won some Derbys.
Yeah, question, big catch. Question.
Do the secretariat so clearly uh took during his horse racing prime uh do they carry in his semen no oh they don't isn't that interesting interesting it's very interesting to me he also did you know that that secretariat his his legendary time at the preakness obviously the belmont was the one that he won by yeah 16 links the race that he won at the Preakness, it's still one of the track records. It was at the time it actually got lowered like 40 years after he ran in that race.
They went back like seven years ago and there was a secret committee that met in Maryland went back and reduced his time by like a second and a half yeah they they met in secret and they changed his times way after the fact that's bullshit and this is also part of what jason kelsey was saying was like we have gotten faster bigger stronger in everything but not horse racing jason kelsey was talking about his heart mostly but he was saying that part too. I was making the point that every mile time has, like mile times have gradually gotten better over the years.
Yeah. 100-meter dashes, 200-meter dashes.
Yeah, he said something like this too, like every sport has gotten better except horse racing. So I went back and I looked at the records, and yes, he still does hold that time at the Belmont, and he holds that time at the Kentucky Derby, and that's an anomaly in horse racing.
Most of them have been improved upon since then. Right.
Not Secretariat's time. Wow.
Not Secretariat's time. He also, this is the other thing about Secretariat, I found out that a bunch of people would buy winning tickets for Secretariat, like they would bet on them, and then they wouldn't cash in the ticket later because they wanted to have the ticket it was a

bunch of darren revellas going out watching these ricky henderson ricky yeah essentially remember

when he got he got paid a million dollars for his first contract and framed it yep yep and uh

he also lost a bunch of races this is what we don't talk about with secretariat we only talk

about the wins with this fraud he lost i think three or four times and they had an excuse ready

after every single loss one time they were like oh he has an abscess in his mouth. He had herpes.
He had horse herpes, and they blamed his loss on that. One time he had uncontrollable diarrhea.
Another time they just tried to blame a horse for bumping him too hard and tried to get that horse disqualified. So there's a lot of stuff with Secretariat that the more we look at it uh the more questions need to be asked about old secretariat okay so this is great because uh we can now say i think we should as a podcast we should say flight line is our goat yes flight line is a horse that won the breeders cup uh two years ago uh i was at it flight line was injured as a three-year-old, so wasn't able to race the Kentucky Derby.
He raced six times, and he just killed everyone. So he never lost.
Never lost. Secretariat lost a bunch.
And also, it's a great one because people will be like, when people ask us who our goat is, the casual fans will say Secretariat, or maybe even American Pharaoh, will say someone who didn't even race in the triple crown flight line he was an incredible horse or we could go like old school with it and say man of war yeah man of war is a great horse and it's sad because man of wars all his accomplishments are overshadowed by a horse that's having seconds taken off his time like 35 40 years after he ran the fucking race yeah i think we can all agree is bullshit so um yeah again i think jason kelsey was on the right track and i can't wait to ask randy moss what his thoughts about secretary being a fraud were yeah and we'll also we got to use this as a way to get jason kelsey on who has recently followed max delante nice work max play cool yeah it's not a big deal are you are you like second guessing every time you send a tweet like what if jason sees this do you think he followed because of what we said no it was definitely not a sympathy follow you think it was just he sure loves your vibe yeah i will say this has nothing to do with this podcast i'll say this about max guys love max guys do love man dudes are fucking in love and i fucking love dudes one thing about max guys Guys love Max. Guys do love Max.
Dudes are fucking in love with Max. And I fucking love dudes.
One thing about Max, guys fucking love him. I fucking love dudes.
Yeah. All right, so I'm going with Flightline.
I watched him at the Breeders' Cup Classic. He killed everyone.
Like nine lengths. Yeah, Flightline's a good one.
And that's the best horses in the world. Man of War, though.
All right, well, we'll ask Randy. Okay.
Yeah. We'll say, who's your goat? I just like picking a horse that didn't race in the Triple Crowns because everyone's like, who's Flightline? Dude, you don't know.
Are you kidding me? You don't know horse. Also, selfishly, I saw him in person and I was wowed.
Okay, I like this. It's going to be great to have Randy on.
Yeah. And we should use this to try to get Jason Kelsey on.
Yep. And like no podcast is defending you more than this no like if the more you look into secretariat the more it stinks to high heaven also at the time when he was winning all these races people were writing about what a welcome escape this was to distract literally in sports illustrated which was a good magazine at the time said people are enthralled and we're so happy with secretary because he's distracting us from the vietnam war yeah and watergate it's a helen keller situation yeah was secretary even real wait secretary was mute no there's yeah super it's superhuman super larger than life yeah the um this would be great story arc if we got jason kelsey we an investigation with him.
Yeah. And we ended up having to go to a farm and watch horses fuck.
And so we were sitting there watching PNV. Yeah.
Yeah. With the Kelsey.
That would be really nice. That would be nice.
Let's just get this. Let's finish this story arc.
All right. That's a great who's back.
All right. My who's back is a simple one.
It's the Detroitroit pistons picking fifth in the draft yeah so we had the lottery on uh sunday weird time for it or no i think i it was a weird time they usually used to do it like on a tuesday night at halftime of one of the games uh i think maybe because this draft doesn't really have anyone of note uh although i was talking to someone, they said that this draft doesn't have like obviously a Wembenyama or a Zion Williamson, but they're like, there's some really good players. It's just, you're basically taking a guess one through 14, like one of one or two of these guys going to end up being incredible, but it could be the 10th pick, not the first pick.
It feels like the safe bets are guys like Klingon is a safe bet. So I'm working out don't know if he's out in this office yesterday don't know if he's gonna be a superstar but he's probably gonna be a good nba player uh and then that's pretty much the safest pick yeah then uh uh duke uh the guard shit his name is from fairfaction yeah um but the pistons i feel bad for pistons fans the detroit pistons uh now this draft is a weird draft like i said like we said there's not a surefire like franchise player which makes it even funnier that the hawks won it that's very atlanta sports to have a three percent chance to win this draft and they did like you used all your luck on this draft uh but the pistons two years ago the ago, the Pistons won 23 games.
They were third worst in the league. They got the fifth pick.
Last year, the Pistons won 17 games, worst in the league, fifth pick. This year, they won 14 games, worst in the league, fifth pick.
That's insane. Yeah, it is crazy.
That seems like a sick joke against the Pistons. I feel bad.
But, again, like you said, crap shoot you could get a good player you might end up getting yeah one of the ones that develops into being a great player but the fact that that's happened again just i mean you should try winning more games yeah try winning more games also uh in dc sports this is the third team that has the second overall pick yeah i saw that i was i was rooting for you to get the first pick yeah me too well i last year it was like at the end it became a coin flip between us and the spurs because the way the numbers shook out uh that would have been the nice one to get but we've taken two lsu players and base we took one baseball and then jane daniels obviously in football i don't think there's anyone from lsu that's projected to go that high but we fuck it let's just do it anyways but by the, talking baseball, Paul Skeens did make his debut against my Cubs. I feel like he had the perfect, awesome prospect debut where he pitched, I think it was like four innings, three earned runs, and seven strikeouts.
I feel like that means he's going to be really good. Yeah.
The first two batters, you were like, oh my God, this guy's going to be the best pitcher who ever played and and then it's like all right well he's going to have to learn how to you know pitch he's on a he they're on a load management but also like he's going to have to learn how to be craftier but holy shit can he pitch are you saying that the the wizard should draft livy dunn yes yeah that would fit she's a reporter did say that uh although Paul Skeen's only lasted four innings, Livvy Dunn, whole game. Oh, she stuck the whole game.
Complete game. She's a good force down.
Yeah, complete game from Livvy Dunn. All right, let's get to our interviews.
We've got great interviews. We've got Julian Edelman and Blake Bortles, and then we'll finish with embrace debate and a twist on the lottery ball machine.
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Okay, we now welcome on our very good friend, recurring guest, very, very good friend, Julian Edelman. You're shaking.
You're shaking. Yeah, because I have awkward arm angle, and I'm using my phone, and I'm watching games.
I'm trying to navigate both. Just put it on the coffee table.
Just rest it up against something on the coffee table. You probably got a spitter.
Then you might see my balls because I'm wearing some really short shorts. Oh, there we go.
All right, this is perfect. All right, so Jules is on.
We should have had you on right after the roast. Obviously, you were partying after the roast, but we still wanted to have you on.
We also needed to have you on because we need some tips on podcasting because you momentarily for a day took over the one spot and made everyone aware of it. So congrats on that.
Thank you. Thank you guys.
You know, I just trying to follow in the founding fathers that, you know, helped me put me in this situation. You guys, I mean, you guys probably on your show and, you know, we're going to take that data and we're going to try to learn from it, make our, make our show completely better day you know it's just a starting point it's actually funny because i remember like three or four years ago you're like hey can we get your entire subscribers list and we gave it to you um now it all makes sense they just did it that way no but games name's awesome it's it's actually incredible what you've like grown it into because i i watch it all the time like your ernie Adams interview was incredible.
And it feels like a very – Darn the shirt. I'm going to give you a genuine compliment.
It's hard, I think, right now. We've gotten very lucky because we started a podcast before everyone had a podcast.
It's hard to hop into the podcast game right now and be unique. And you've done that.
And that's a credit to you. I appreciate it.
That means a lot really coming from you guys. Yeah.
You know, it's been fun. It's, I didn't, you know, I, we just did this thing.
I wasn't, we weren't trying to do anything, but it's just, it's been fun to get to like learn how to ask questions. You know, when you watch guys shows, like you're, I listen to you guys all the time.
I listen to other people in the industry, the McAfee's and the Colin Cowher's, and see how people deliver information and how they deliver their knowledge. And it's been fun to be able to work that.
And I've seen it help me with TV and stuff. So it's been a fun, creative outlet.
And you did it without dating the most famous woman in the world so congrats no shortcuts for you facts facts facts yeah he's you still could all right so uh we have a bunch of questions but let's start with the roast you did incredible i told you no pressure before uh because i wanted you to feel the pressure because we were expecting a lot out of you. We had you as one of the highest ranked non-comedians.

You did a great job.

What was it like, though, the entire event, like being there?

And more than anything, what was it like sitting next to Gronk?

Because we – how many of Gronk's jokes did he get?

Like how many did he understand?

It felt like he didn't understand anything.

First off, yeah, he called me the night before.

Was it the night before?

The night before, yeah.

And I was just... many did he understand it felt like he didn't understand anything first off uh yeah he called me the night before that was it the night before night before yeah and i did i give you any of my jokes did i run any by you you didn't but you were like i was like listen we're like you have to perform because if you don't like we expect a lot out of you and you you delivered big time no it was i was super it was super nerve-wracking to do this whole thing because you're jumping in and you guys are good funny speakers and you guys have been in that that that kind of world like we're still i'm still new to this stuff so like when you're sharing a stage like kevin hard jeff ross and the nick eagle like those you can see how professional they are so the whole night i was watching teleprompters and stuff seeing how you know like ron bergadey came out and he didn't say anything on his teleprompter and then he'd get back into like i was watching the behind the scenes stuff so i was super nervous for this whole thing went and performed at the comedy store uh the thursday before with jeff ross which was awesome to get that like rep because i never really told jokes on a stage which is completely different than like doing a q a or speaking at a motivational thing like i've done those public speakings when you have to go out and actually execute something while you're doing that like to try to get a laugh yeah it's hard so i was like super nervous nervous at the store i was like shaking telling my jokes thankfully we had like there was like a a group of like 15 like frat boys that like knew exactly who i was they were like athlete fans you could sell so they i got some laughs and you could see where you could like pause the joke and not pause the joke so it was cool to get that rep and then when we go on the night before you know now you're in the the green room and our green room was me randy gronk and coach and uh everyone's kind of like we were all kind of it was like it was a it was like before game bro like guys were like sitting there in corners practicing their jokes and stuff it like it was fun and then you know go out and do it and you had to like judge like i can't drink really before my my jokes because i don't want to get too sloppy up there and something you know like you gotta and then after you start drinking it was it was fun it was a fun night yeah and it was good to see like a lot of people in that building you guys know what i'm talking about craft bill and and tom all in all in the building like never thought i'd see that again yeah that was it was cool to see you should you should have west welker gone up right before you and then like halfway through his set just pulled him off stage be like i got this west just taking over for him he probably wouldn't like that though um yeah we did have you very high we thought drew bledso, too.
He was like – Great way to open it. Yeah.
You know, that's got to be some pressure. And he's a great sport, you know, like with how he – I mean, that's got to be – that's such a crazy – Yeah.
Yeah, it's a great dynamic. It's like this guy is responsible for your career going absolutely sideways when you thought it was going to go perfectly.
And then you have to show up and make fun of him for being so much better than you yeah but he did a really good job i thought i thought he was he opened the gates yeah yeah absolutely so um about gronk so gronk gets up we can all agree gronk killed it right yeah he crushed it um it's okay to say gay again i think that's like five of five of gronk's jokes were like jules is gay. Tom Brady, you're so gay.
Remember that time Tom fucked Bill Belichick from Tampa with a 1,300-mile? Yeah. That was going to be my question.
So when Tom Brady fucked Bill Belichick with a 1,300-mile cock, and then you sucked it and lubed it up the entire way from Tampa to Boston boston it was in your mouth is that true no that wasn't true that was a good joke that was it that was that was a pigment of his imagination okay but yeah now getting back to gronk and watching because like i said you can see where the prompter and the jokes and stuff you know i'm sitting there watching gronk and like he he's starting he's doing his bit, and then all of a sudden, he just starts going off his dome.

He improvised, I want to say, half of the stuff.

It was like, oh, get back.

And then he got back onto it.

It was so funny.

I mean, it was Gronk.

Yeah, it was Gronk through and through.

Absolutely.

All right, so were you surprised no one roasted you for steroids? I was. I was.
I was too. I was like, if I were up there, I would say that would be the first thing I'd do.
I mean, I thought everything was on the door. When Kevin Hart opens up with the Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu instructor, I thought we were just fucking, oh, floodgates open.
Yeah. Yeah.
So when that was like one of the first jokes, were you like, oh, shit, we are really saying everything? Or did you guys think that there were going to be boundaries? It made me feel so good that like, all right, he went there. So I guess mine is not going to be that bad.
He won't. You know what I mean? It was actually a great teammate play by Kevin Hart.
Yeah. Because he set the stage where he's like, he knew we were nervous about saying certain things.
So he hits him to let let him know like this is what it's going to be and and in a weird way like you probably escaped the best out of everyone because the meanest joke anyone said about you was like you're obsessed with tom brady which is like i don't know there's a there's millions of of men out there who they could say that about so it's like okay, okay, yeah, I want to be him. Yeah.
I don't know if I want to be him, but why would you ever bite the hand that feds you, bro? Yeah. You want to be inside him.
I live in Brentwood because of Tom Brady. Yeah.
You're shadowing him. I'm not afraid to say it.
It's a quarterback league. You're a dependent person when you're a receiver.
Yeah. It's smart of you to own it like that.

Absolutely. So the whole situation with Bob Craft, Bill, Tom, all there together at once.

It seemed awkward when Bob came out on stage.

Like Bill didn't really want to be taking the shot.

He had to be like talked into it.

Did anybody hang out and talk afterwards or did they like go their separate ways ways what was that like seeing all them together if they hung out later uh it was pretty political you guys know that goes yeah like those guys are pros at that they know how to address rooms they know how to read situations and stuff like it was i mean it was what it was i didn't i didn't see them at the They left. Mr.
Kraft came for a second and hung out for a little while, but Bill, he wasn't there. So there wasn't really any interaction that I saw.
You're like a child of divorce being like, I don't know which, like who I should be seen with or who I should be buddy-buddy with. I'll give you this one.
Like we're in the green room and we're all telling like war stories having fun coaches talk telling us about you know a rookie skin or something that he loved back in the day and we're all like huddled up talking and you know craft walked in and you know they they played it they played it right i mean but it was like it was like what you just said i i wanted i and walked away. I didn't know what to do.
I walked away. I went to the bathroom.
I just didn't want to be in any kind of question asking or anything. You know what I mean? Yeah.
Was Kraft drunk when he came to the after party? Because he had like four shots. He had a bunch of drinks when he was on stage.
I don't know. Is this guy got a tolerance of a tank or what?

I didn't notice any of that.

Mr. Kraft, he's a funny guy.

He's fun.

So the other one, your running mate, Danny Amendola,

I think he got maybe the meanest joke of the whole time,

and it felt like Belichick might have just showed up just to get that in on him.

What did Amendola say afterwards?

Because that was brutal.

It did feel like it was like, that was a real one.

I mean, now you guys get a sense of that's how Bill's sense of humor was.

And that's how he would humiliate people in the film room.

You know what I mean?

Like, oh, that's a great 250 yards.

Yeah, Moss had that. That's a good half for Moss.
You know, that's how he would get on guys during film. Like, it was awesome to see that.
I mean, they knew it was all fun and games. They actually kissed it out.
Okay. That's cool.
And they were cool. I saw them.
They were good. Yeah.
The other guy he went after, which I thought was just really funny, was it Matt Light? Yeah. Yeah, Matt Light.
Yeah. And he just started, like, roasting Matt Light.
And and matt light was in the back just like i did not expect anybody to say my name at all tonight but that i felt like that was belichick just going back to the day of like okay i'm gonna i'm gonna rip this guy a new asshole because i know that he fucked up on film so i get to humiliate him in front of the entire team kind of the same way he was doing dann but like it there's a different thing with Matt Light there there's a different thing with Matt Light for sure because Matt Light I actually just had him on my podcast we'll be launching that here soon but like Matt was like the biggest prankster like ever like he had balls of steel like he would go above and beyond to do a – like, to get a prank in. Like, crazy.
Like, with Bill, with everyone, with the – you know, with Scarnacchio. Like, the coaches – like, he was a badass on the field.
And he was one – you know, he played for 12 years. He's, like, one of our leaders.
But he was not afraid to make fun of the environment with these crazy pranks,

which you guys can listen to on Games With Names coming out soon,

the Matt Light episode.

It'll be good.

I love that.

It's a good tease.

I love that.

What about – I have to ask this question because it came up like four

or five times.

Did Brady not really shower with the guys?

Yeah, Brady took – I mean, I've seen him a couple times.

He was a shower pill guy.

We always saw Brady took the shower pill, meaning meaning didn't shower just walked out yeah okay yeah that felt like a recurring theme like dude why don't you take a shower with us which is a very funny thing when you take it outside of the world of a football locker room where it's like you're mad that your buddy won't shower with you. Yeah.

I mean, half the jokes are in the shower. Yeah, you got to shower with the guys.
You got to shower with the dudes. That's where the real bonding happens.
Yeah. You got to shower with the dudes.
Like when Brady did shower with you, were you like, holy shit, we got to act on our best behavior because Brady's naked right there. No one is off limits in the shower, bro.
like if you're walking into the war zone but Brady would do this one thing

where he would get in the corner shower

and he'd have two shower heads On him It's nice Are you fucking serious? Are we serious here, Tom? You gotta have two shower heads Did you ever have a moment where Brady Walked in the shower one day Once a month and you're're like fuck i haven't shaved my pubes in a while no but i did there's this there's this one time where i was showering and i used to shave my ain't my legs like just to my calf and i had hella hairy thighs because i had to get my i like to get my ankles taped with no pre-wrap i wanted it on skin you know what i mean i go go in there and Sean Springs starts making fun of me. He goes, bro, what the hell? What are you doing? He would make fun of me in a locker room all the time.
Then one time I always took a shower and I showed him like, hey, Springs, I trimmed all the way up. Look, he goes, Edelman, don't you ever talk to me in the shower and make me look at you again.
He started making fun of me. I.
I'm like, oh, what the fuck? Yeah, that is. He was like in his 14th year, veteran Sean Spring.
I was like second year in the league. He'd make fun of me all day.
It was funny. Yeah, you got to shower with the guys.
Yeah, shower moments are fun. Yeah.
Yeah, would it be after like a special game that Brady would be like, you know what? I'm going to shower with the boys. Give him a treat.
Well, I mean, he had to shower in away games. Away games, you have to shower.
Yeah, that makes sense. It'd be gross if you didn't.
I think he just wanted to go home and shower. He probably had the craziest shower at his house, like something insane where he has like hydrated water.
Yeah, so when the schedule would come out, you would circle all the away games being like, nice, I'm going to get a shower with Brady these days. Yeah, yeah, so good.
So good, bro. All right, serious question, because we haven't had you on since it happened, but the Dynasty doc, it was a little crazy.
We had Belichick's back. It felt like a very slanted against him.
When you were watching it, were you like, like i lived half of this and it's not exactly how it went i mean yeah i mean that it was i don't know there it was pretty clickbaity where they just wanted to go over everything that you know you that people want to see that they hated us for a long time and they fed it and it is what it is you know what i mean uh they just kind of like brushed over like the great games that we had like the troy brown game where tom throws the interception they're about to lose against san diego troy strips like they're we didn't see any of that stuff like right i don't know but it's also it's Hollywood you know they gotta do what they gotta do to make it yeah no it's hard to do a documentary like there's definitely something to be said like you can't do a documentary where it's just like oh they won and then they won again and then they won again because no one everyone be like well what the fuck we want to see the other stuff but it did feel like more other stuff than it went. The crazy thing is we all did those interviews and that's when Bill was still under the team so I think he had to do it.
That's what we were saying. It's like Mr.
Kraft asked him one day. He doesn't get to have his, you know what I mean? But it's been really awesome to see because of all this stuff, Bill's kind of opened up just to go out and do some of these tv things and he's been doing stuff with mcfee and you know it's it's been cool to see him open up a little bit and show people like yeah i'm not i'm not yeah i'm an asshole but it's fun it's you know what i mean like it's yeah yeah yeah i'm a football coach look how much information i know yeah yeah he knows a lot he's yeah, in the documentary, uh, Pat or Hank was saying that there's not enough like Patriots porn.
It feels like they, they did make a documentary almost more for the Patriots haters because there are more of them than there are Patriots fans. Uh, but there was one part that featured you that was like just pure Superbowl Patriots porn.
When you made that catch against the Falcons and then you immediately jumped up, you're like, no, bro, I caught it, right in the defender's face. He's like, no, you dropped it.
You're like, bro, I caught it. And it was just like a nice little back and forth there.
When you watch that play on replay, when you see a replay of it, do you pause it and rewind it and rewatch it again? Because if I were you, I would just watch that shit all the time. Be like, look what I did.
No, not at all. I honestly...
It's a lucky play. I like watching plays that I got blown up or something and I hung on with the ball.
I can't chance to lit me up. I always liked that play, but...
Not really. That game, that was a bad route, so I don't like that play.
Oh, you fucked up? Bad process. Good result.
I bananaed my route. It a it's a it's a middle read and you know with cover five you gotta go to the near upright of the the post you know what i mean if it was cover if there is one safety then you take it to the numbers and it becomes more like a fade but right here you're trying to put pressure on the two on the two high safety so you know you you want to really try to get him the the defender he's got inside leverage i want you gotta you gotta like i've been named my route you gotta make him feel like you're hitting that that bow route and then he undercuts and then you get you get open and i just kind of i mean it was a bad route so i don't like it who's that oh it's brandon marshall's up marsh how we doing buddy literally hit me up on thursday 30 minutes before it's like hey bro i'm staying at your house from uh thursday to monday it's cool i'm like sure is this a real show he did the same thing with us b marsh he came to the chicago office and then like four days later he was still coming in i was like do you, do you work here now? He's like, no, I'm using your podcast studio.
I was like, oh, okay, cool. This is Rocky.
Hey, Rocky. What's up, Rocky? Big cat.
Y'all was making me meals and everything. I know.
You're welcome back anytime. Yeah.
Yeah, anytime. I walk in Jewel's house.
First off, this house is like the best house I've ever seen in the world. He's super rich.
But, uh, I thought you were retiring. Why are you still talking football? You ain't got a bow route.
You talking about bow routes right now? He fucked up that route in the Super Bowl. He keeps on asking about the catch.
I hate that play because I middle read. I didn't bop my guy to the bow route.
I put the end in my route. That's like the coach.
That's like one thing you can't do. This is so.
Because it was like our 97th play. Like we had a 97 play game for offense, which you're cooked.
I mean, they literally ran out of gas. That's what I want.
I'll walk into a real show. This is like so Belichick of you, though, because it makes me think that at one point Belichick might have brought up that catch the next year and been like, Edelman, this is not how you run the route.
Even though it was like... Nah, he never did that.
Nah, he never did that. That would be very Belichick.
He never did that. I've always wondered, do you watch film of the Super Bowl? Do you break that down and learn from it? Because it's a new team the next year.
Do you even go back? You know what I do? During Super Bowl time, I watch the NFL Network. And they know like the old games on and i i just watched the old games like the tv copies because a i've never seen really a lot of the tv copies when i was playing and he it's good to reference like for like it brings up my memories back like oh yeah i remember that situation this game right here then it's good for like when i talk tv and yeah you know talk to you guys and stuff so it's i i like i'm a fan of the game so you watch all these the old cut-ups are crazy like then you get the afc champion or championship week they have all the old afc championship weeks and stuff i think it's fun yeah one last question about the documentary you're going to tell us why malcolm butler was benched for the super bowl oh yeah i have no clue bro it no one on the team so no one knows i was i was away from the team bro i was so mad actually because i had i tore my acl that year yeah you're with us and yeah i remember i was with you and it was like i couldn't even go to the team hotel like they put me out in this other team up this is a family hotel like i was so pissed man i had to like go 45 minutes yeah part of the show.
I don't even know why. I remember you came on radio and I was like, how's it going? How are the guys feeling? And you were just like, I don't know.
I'm not with them. I'm not allowed to be with them.
Yeah. They were in the game, bro.
Yeah. Alright, so we have to ask you and you have to pump up Hank.
He's not super excited about Drake May, and partially your fault, right? You know what? He's been growing on me. Drake's been growing on me.
Okay. I like the whole basketball, rented-out basketball gym night of.
Dude's a competitor. I heard he was the best golfer at that one visit where they were going to top golf with the teams and stuff.
Like he went up and he's got like, this has nothing to do with football. Wouldn't you like him to not be excellent at golf? It has nothing to do with football.
Those are the types of things that like, you know, the competitive dudes that like to compete when it's like a, a hairy situation. Those guys aren't scared of that, that moment.
Now I'm not saying that guy's there, guy's there, but those little stories, I don't know if they're coming out of nowhere. I've started to hear them more.
Sitting at the... He sat with the people today at the Bruins.
Yeah. He sat in the regular seats at the Bruins, didn't sit in the suite.
Man of the people. Yeah.
Okay is not just, you know, on him. You know, this is on, you know, now Wolf, who's the general manager.
You got to get him playmakers. We got – you know, this is also on the developmental of, you know, the coaching staff.
You know, Van Drake or the new OC they have. Like, this is – that's going to be his job.
They brought in Ben McAdoo, so he's going to be probably working with the quarterback and help developing this guy. So this is a team effort when you have a young quarterback, and I never really got to experience one.
Yeah. What about the allegations, again, from Hank, that he throws a very heavy ball? Heavy.
The ball looks heavy in his hands. I like he's big, though.
Yeah. So you think he just has a heavier ball? Nah I mean I gotta catch it I'll let you guys know I'm probably gonna go check out a camp Yeah I'll give you a little update on it Okay I gotta go catch it You know hey I threw a Drew Bledsoe I was about to say that Yeah That was crazy He was throwing a thousand miles an hour He was still playing it bro Yeah Yeah Did you ask him to do that Or was he just like Here's a catch Here throwing 1,000 miles an hour.
He was playing it, bro. Yeah.
Yeah. Did you ask him to do that, or was he just like, here's a catch.
Here, it's going 90 miles an hour. No, we were literally – we did the podcast, and then we went out in the backyard, and we were drinking wine.
He's a big wine guy. You know, Double Back, I think, is his wine company.
And there was a ball there, and we just started throwing. I was like, I want to catch Drew's ball's ball i want to see how it feels and it's that dude's got the centrifugal force on his ball those are like big-handed guys when the when the the ball speed is spinning fast you know and he could just flick it is it i mean he could still he's 50 years old yeah is it weird he can still yeah is it weird when you when you when you're hanging out with a guy like Drew Bledsoe because you never played with him but it's like kind of going back to like the divorce with your divorced child with Robert Kraft and Belichick.
When you meet Drew Bledsoe you're like oh it's like your long lost brother like we had the same dad. We know we were born under the same thing but but we never really, like, bonded.
But you have, like, all these common things. 100%.
And, you know, Drew was around a lot. I met him early in my career.
And, you know, you guys don't realize Drew Bledsoe was, like, the biggest guy in New England. You know what I mean? Like, he was people loved him here and they still do and you know with how he's handled that whole situation that's the real patriot way right there doing we used to have a sign on that said mental toughness doing what's best for the team when it may not be best for you walk by it every day you know and he he's an example of that you know a lot guys could have handled that situation a lot differently.
And he's seen, you know, just from hearing stories and talking with guys, he was always a good teammate. He seems like he's got a good head on his shoulder.
It's funny because it's like do your job, but in his case, his job was to no longer do his job. Yeah.
But he did that job really well. But I'm just telling you guys, the guy's like 50 years old, and when you see him, he looks like a number one draft pick.
Oh, looks good in shorts. No, he was in jeans, but he was flinging that.
He's just a big, burly white man. Yeah.
You know, like a country mountain man. I've got just like an idea that just came to me.
You're talking about like, got to catch Drake's ball. You should do like Dave does pizza reviews.

You should just do ball reviews.

Yeah.

You just catch a ball from somebody and then you rate the ball.

How good was that ball?

That's not a bad idea.

Yeah.

You could even throw in some like blind,

like just to like,

obviously you got to catch people's balls,

current NFLs,

but like doing like a throwback blind ball catching video where it's like, ooh, I think that was like, I think that was Bledsoe's ball. Ooh, that might've been an Elway.
Yeah. You get smoked right in the face.
Could you tell the difference? Just if you were blindfolded and you caught one of Brady's balls and then we blindfolded you caught one of Jimmy G's balls. Could you tell? I mean, you wouldn't be able to catch it, but if there was a situation or scenario where you could actually do that, where I could see, but like...
Maybe they're behind a net. Maybe they're behind a net.
You could feel the ball. You could definitely feel the ball.
It's different. I could feel the difference between Hoyer's ball.
You could feel the difference between Jimmy G's ball. Cam's ball.
You could feel the difference. And then Tebow came in.
in i wouldn't let him throw to me because he goes opposite speed you know i don't want to get used to that other centrifugal force yeah who had the nicest balls you know who actually threw a real catchable ball brian hoyer did yeah axel he he had he he had this little little pat. He threw a real catchable ball.

Mallett used to throw a real heavy, heavy, like hard ball.

Yeah.

Hard ball.

He had an arm.

Yeah.

He had an arm.

But, yeah.

That's good.

I like that.

Ball reviews.

I got some draft analysis for you.

If you're looking at these three prospects, which one really jumps off the page to you

in terms of how they're going to fit in in the NFL?

Give me your experience.

Cooper DeGene, right?

McCaffrey, Luke McCaffrey, and then Ladd McConkie.

Are those all white guys, right?

Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know.

So what's the question?

Which one of those guys reminds you the most of you? Oh, they're all white. They are all white.
Yeah, they're all white. None of them.
None of them? None of them. Because they're all kind of big.
And that corner guy is like way faster than I ever was. Yeah.
And then the McCaffrey, he's taller. He's like more like Ed.
He's like his dad. His body type's different.
Yeah. Well, Jules, I got one last question.
Thank you again. It's been awesome.
We love having you on every time. It is the Roback question.
R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com promo code TAKE. 20% off your first purchase.
Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, Roback.com. We will hopefully see you maybe Grit Week, which we haven't announced.
Yeah, in Chicago? Or you guys are coming here? Possibly, possibly. I actually asked him.
I got to get out to Chicago. You do? You do? I asked Jules.
I was like, where are you going to be in August? And he's like, you mean like, will I be in America? And I was like, okay, let's start there. Yeah, like, will you be in America? He's like, yeah, I think so.
All right, cool. Us too.
It's travel month. That's right before this season.
You know, you got things going. Yeah.
You got to get a thing out. Then clamp down, football season in.
You got to buckle in. That's true.
That's true. 25 weeks.
All right, so rowback question. The last question I had for you was, we kind of skirted by it, but how many jokes do you think out of, let's say, 100 did Gronk actually process? He knew them all.
No. Yes.
I actually had a joke where I was going to incorporate Gronk because he gets a rap for being a – it was like, this is one of the jokes. I was going to have Gronk in on it.
I would have been like, you know, everyone has this big old thing out for Gronk that he's, you know, kind of a dumb – like a simple guy, a dumb-dumb. And it's not true.
He's actually a savant with numbers. Watch.
Gronk, what's 69 minus 37? 32. That's right, Gronk.
The same number of teams that rather lose than have a conversation with Coach Belichick. Oh, that's a good one.
Yeah. Should have done that.
I know. But he would have had to nail that 32.
Yeah. Is that why you didn't do it? No, he would have got it.
I'm telling you right now. Gronk knows numbers, bro.
I'm telling you. I think he just knows 69 based math.
He knows 69 minus any number. This guy, he can count.
Dude, I'm telling you, whenever we used to talk contracts, like, whenever we... I would always bust his balls.
Like, yo, watch. What square root is, Gronk? 144.
You're like 12, dude. Like, he really knows numbers pretty well, dude.
Listen, he... I think he is smarter than people give him credit for.
He did not understand Kevin Hart's three-fifths joke. That one he didn't get.
Because you forget, this was on live TV, so they had... Yeah, that one he didn't get.
They went to Gronk like seven or eight times. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sometimes you couldn't hear. The speakers are in front of you, or they were in front of you, so sometimes even though they're close, you wouldn't hear.
You'd hear the reaction before you hear the joke. He is the best, though.
I was saying I wanted just a mic'd up episode of the roast just of him. Because in his roast, him just being Gronk is so fucking funny.
He's just the best. He's the man.
Yeah. He's honestly the most genuine, lovable dude.
Yeah. Yeah.
We love him. Great energy.
Last question for me, just who out of the non-comedians do you think had the best set? And you can't say the ones that we talked about. You can't say Drew Bledsoe, and you can't say- I think Nikki Glaser killed it.
Well, she's a comedian, though. Oh, wow.
That was misogynistic of you. No, but she literally- I thought her jokes were- Did you say, oh, non-players was the best?-comedian yeah yeah and you just were like oh that that chick was pretty funny that was crazy she was look i thought she was the best she was the best she was the best yeah but who the non-comedians athlete athlete athlete or actor um we know it wasn't ben affleck so we can scratch that one not i.
Definitely not. I didn't even get that thing.
It was weird. It was so bizarre.
He was just like, you fucking keyboard warrior. Yeah.
I was like, who are you roasting? Yeah. I can't say Drew.
I thought Tom did well. Yeah.
I thought that Kanye joke was good. Yeah, it was.
About Kim. It was great.
I also thought Tom like, Tom did a good job of at the end, like, you didn't want him to, like, he did what he should have done, being like, fuck all of you. I'm Tom Brady.
Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, that's, like, he didn't play like, oh, like, it's kind of, like, I'm a humble guy.
He's like, no, no, I'm Tom Brady, which that was what he should have done. Dude, the guy wins.
It's crazy. We went on a Fox retreat for NFL Fox, like all the dogs and stuff, like Terry, Howie, Coach, Tom was out there, Burkhart, and we were playing this game LRC.
And for 45 minutes, Tom was out. You know what I mean? Have you guys played that game? What is it? What is it? It's like there's three dice and then there's dots oh yeah you put it the r you should pass it right you know left left dude fully won it in front of everyone and everyone's like oh my god this it's really true this guy wins at everything in his first introductory his first introduction to like the fox team you know what i mean like really all of us kind of hanging out and was just like everyone's like, oh, my God, is he Jesus? I heard Greg Olson's really good at that game too.
Oh, he wasn't invited to that. I don't know who you're talking about.
Jules, you're the best. I don't know who you're talking about.
You're the best, man. And hopefully we see you soon.
And everyone do go watch and subscribe to Games With Names. ernie adams episode start there it was awesome the blood show episode was just really good we went on all the rose stuff matt light episode is gonna be epic this dude was he was a nut bro yeah and then how about brandon marshall literally hit me up like two days ago three days ago he's like all right let's come over which going to do an episode with him? We already did an episode.
We did the Pro Bowl when he got Pro Bowl MVP. You should do – you should be like, hey, tomorrow can we do the episode where it was like maybe like week six.
It was Bears-Dolphins and he got in – allegedly got in a screaming match with Robbie Gold after the game in the locker room. You should see if he'll do that one.
We got, like, embarrassed, and it was like a real low. It was like Brandon Marshall fights with kicker.
You should do that. Oh, man.
Nah, I'm not. Do it.
I just like the fact that Brandon Marshall was hanging out at your house, and then he walks by, and he's also got a football in his hand.

Yeah.

He's like, yeah, it's me, Brandon Marshall, the football player.

We're just playing football.

Yeah.

No, we do have balls around the house.

Yeah. Because we do our podcast here, and if we need a five-minute break, you got five minutes.

All right, fellas, we got five minutes.

Toss.

Get a little air.

Throw the ball around.

I love it.

Yeah, you're living the life.

Podcast studio in your house.

That's everyone's dream.

All right, Jules.

Thanks so much, man.

I'm pretty sure. fellows.
We've got five minutes. Get a little air.
Throw the ball around. I love it.
Yeah, you're living the life. Podcast studio in your house.
That's everyone's dream. All right, Jules.
Thanks so much, man. Appreciate it.
Everyone go subscribe and we'll see you soon, hopefully. All right, guys, man.
Take care. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.
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That's betterhelp.com slash PMT. now here's blake portals and now for something completely different okay we now welcome on our very very very good friend recurring guest pardon my take legend is blake portals we figured we have to have him on before we do blake of the year in a month and a half get him prepped uh we were talking before.
You noted we always have Bortles with us in the background with his jersey.

And PFT mentioned that we have the Saints, the Packers.

We don't have a Broncos one.

Now, the question to you is, should we get a Broncos Blake Bortles jersey

or should we get the guy who had to start that game because you gave everyone COVID?

Kendall Hinton.

Yeah, it was also not my fault.

I couldn't.

I was thinking about that when you mentioned it, though.

I don't know what number I was in Denver.

Did you ever you didn't get did you play?

You didn't play a game.

Did I never dress because I got there.

I was inactive for like the first two or three weeks.

And then I was on practice squad. And then for like 45 minutes, I was goingactive for like the first two or three weeks.
And then I was on practice squad.

And then for like 45 minutes, I was going to start against the Saints.

And then I got blamed for everybody getting COVID.

Kendall Hinton got to start.

You did.

You did have five.

You had five.

Wait.

Yep.

Okay.

So when you go to Denver and like the punter or the kicker has number five,

are you like, hey, can I get your number?

Oh, I did. At that point in my career, I was was fine wearing like mike winchell 20 i didn't care um all right so uh first of all i just want to say apologies for uh that brunes panthers over because we were texting before and you're like yeah i'm ready to go i'm just sitting on my couch watching hoping for goals i don't know know anything about hockey.
That's basically everyone at this time of year where it's like, oh, let me turn on this hockey game. They score goals, and then it's the playoffs.
It's like, fuck, this sucks. It is tough.
I've gotten murdered. I've lost.
Like, I love hockey. I don't know a ton about it.
Like, I know kind of the basics and obviously the rules, and I've gotten to know guys that are playing, and the stars obviously of the league. league i listen to spit and chiclets here and there so it's kind of where my knowledge comes from but i'm just donating money at this point yeah what have you been up to recently i feel like we haven't heard from from bortles for a long time are you picking up any new hobbies uh i'm trying things out i'm trying just random things hoping to find something.
Golf will always be a hobby of mine.

I got two little kids, so we're doing that.

Still building a house that's, you know, hopefully going to be done here soon.

And then, you know, outside of that, just random stuff.

I played tennis a couple times.

I found out that wasn't for me.

I'm in to just try things. I'm working on getting into maybe like some jujitsu or something.

I'm going to see how that goes.

I'm just I'm looking for stuff.

Tennis is very boring.

I've found it.

It was.

And it was also like our daughter plays tennis.

So it was like, all right, let me see if, you know, I'll do this, too, so we can like play together.

And I did it for like an hour one day.

And I think I made contact with 50 percent of the balls and was dead tired in like 35 minutes.

And it's like, yeah, I'll play pickleball.

Yeah, every time I play tennis, I'm just like, I'll play for like 10 minutes. And then the thought will cross my head and be like, this would be so much sicker if it was home run derby.
Yeah. Every now and then you accidentally hit one like out of the fence.
It's just like, I'd rather do that. Yeah, you're like, holy shit, I'm strong.
I also just can't serve, which you just can't play if you can't serve. I can hit it hard, but I can't hit it in that square.
That's the thing about 10s. They say it's like a really good cardio workout, but it's not at all if you stink at it.
You're just getting started. Then it's like just the most boring standing around thing ever.
Oh, you're just one and done every time.

Yeah.

All right, so the other thing I was wondering,

we have all three of us have new quarterbacks on this show,

PFT, Hank, and I.

You were a new quarterback at one point.

What should we, if we ever meet our new quarterbacks,

what should we tell them?

The Blake Bortles, hey, this is what you do if you're drafted high

and you have an entire city expecting things out of you.

So who do you – I mean, you have Caleb Williams.

I actually got to meet because he was training like 10 minutes

from our house here in Florida.

Awesome kid.

Yes.

PFT has –

Jaden Daniels. Jaden Daniels, stud and hank has drake may yeah in new england right yeah um yeah i don't know i mean the uh i i feel like the young it's changed so much like it was it used to be come and sit hang out like the aaron rogers deal like that was kind of supposed to be what i did and you know ended up playing earlier than expected which was great and learned a lot through experience and a ton of failures um and then i feel like my homes has kind of just changed the game on the expectations of how you're supposed to play right away um if you ever meet him i don't know tell him you love him and he's doing great that's good that's good advice just just positivity man kids going through a lot it's probably not gonna go great right away and you know let's stick to it keep working you'll be fine yeah what was it like uh like just getting started with the jaguars like when you go into the building what attitude did you have to have like going people have expectations obviously because you're drafted so high do you come in like yeah i'm the fucking shit do you actively have to like check your own ego sometimes i would imagine there's probably guys that have done that you know whether coming off the heismans or just highly touted dudes throughout their entire career for me coming into the nfl was the first time there was really ever any expectations on me like I was the second quarterback at UCF in our recruiting class and still getting drafted third overall and going into Jacksonville.
That was kind of the first time that there was ever anything expected of me right away. So that was different.
But, I mean, it's all just new. It's a totally different game, especially I feel like the college and the NFL games are so different in all aspects of it and um i mean at the same time you're walking in at 20 21 22 years old and there's guys in there that are married with kids and it's like i have no experience of how to handle these kind of people yeah outside of talking talking to my parents and my parents friends i don't know how to talk to parents so uh you know some of that

stuff's new but you know i'm sure all those dudes will be fine they've gotten so good and so mature yeah um i deal with media and nio shit and all that so i'm sure they'll all do great have they retired your jersey at ucf yet no what the fuck i got inducted into the hall of fame two years ago okay um but I don't think there's only a couple like Dante Culpeppers. I guess they're like suit because there's 120 kids on a team.
They can't start taking numbers away but I guess they hang them up. I think there's a couple numbers that are hung up around the stadium which I guess maybe ring of honor.
We need that. It it will come we'll come to that day if they if they ever if they ever decide to do it let's let's put some pressure on them like what are we doing here let's get portals up in the orlando weekend and celebrate it'd be great yeah they need to respect you they need to they need to hang your banner high um did you know that we got a national championship banner yeah it's true.
Did you know that you had the highest yards per carry? Excuse me, third highest yards per carry of any quarterback ever in the history of the NFL? No, I didn't. Who? Is that an actual stat? Yeah, I think you finished with like 6.3.
Mike Vick only had seven yards per attempt. Hmm.
Only, dude. Could you imagine? Me and Mike Vick's similar athletic ability, too.
No, they need to put some respect on your name. That's the great Blake Bortles.
This is the Blake Bortles Hall of Fame pitch that we're going to start working on. We're going to make a whole pamphlet of it.
Third all-time yards per carry. It's a good start.
Yep. The boat.
That also is good. You can't say anyone else is the boat.
Should have beaten the New England Patriots in Gillette in the postseason and gone to the Super Bowl. That got ripped from your hands.
Yep. Absolutely.
That's going in there too. Outdueled Ben Roethlisberger.
Got everyone COVID and got Kendall Hinton a start. That's right.
Looking out for guys. Actually, one bullet point just should be, did not give the entire Broncos COVID, contrary to popular belief.
Again. Walter Payton, man of the year finalist.
Yep. That's right.
Yep. That was the year Jared played in the Super Bowl.
New England beat him. What was the score? 10-7, 13-7.
That game in Atlanta. Yeah.
That was the year Chris Long gave the entire world water. Yep.
And so he won man of the year. Supplied the entire continent of Africa with clean water.
We all thought we had a chance of winning that year for fundraising for our local community. No chance.
No chance. I forgot to tell you, and I want to hear your perspective of it.
I ran into your agent when we were in Indy for the Combine, and I had met him a couple times before, so I said said hello to him and I was laughing cause I was like, what was it like for you guys when Blake just accidentally retired on our show? And they were like, yeah, that kind of sucked for us. Like we just got a bunch of calls right away.
And he said, he was like, Blake told us specifically. He's like, any calls you get, I'm not talking to anyone else.
I'm talking to the part of my take guys so i want to say thank you and also was that your perspective of it that your agents were like what the fuck dude why'd you do that they i mean we had had they called when i went to new orleans the last stop i was on was kind of like the last rodeo and it was kind of like i was i was staying in shape i was still throwing so i kind of felt obligated to like take the call you know whenever it came but it came like the day before christmas and what year was that 21 22 yeah well somewhere in there right around it was like two days before christmas and we got little kids at home like we're starting to build stuff you know for to set out for christmas presents and my agent called us and he's like, hey, he's got a call from New Orleans. And I was like, yeah, yeah, let's just, you know, we'll maybe just see what happens next year.
See if we hear from anybody. And, you know, it was like, no, like they really want you to come.
They'll guarantee your contract or this or that. And I was like, all right, you know, we kind of owe it to ourselves to go do this.
So we did it. And then obviously the year ends.

And like a month later, I think they signed Andy Dalton.

And like guaranteed his money.

So it was just like, all right, that's not a road we're going to go down next year.

So like, let's get out of that.

And I was just like, I'm done.

I'm done.

And I remember him telling me, I was like, do I have to announce?

Because you used to have to like put in papers to retire.

And it was like a whole thing where they got rid of that.

And it was just if you're not on a roster for i think 12 months you're just considered retired was what i was told so i was like yeah let's just go that route dude we'll just hopefully nobody says anything for a year and then all of a sudden i'll just be officially retired and then a pft asked me a question when i was talking to you guys and i just accidentally said it i was like now we're officially retired we're officially retired. It's like common law retirement.
If you're not on a roster, then legally. Yeah.
Yeah, you're just done. Yeah, but so what did your agent say after you came on PMT that time? Were they like, wait, dude, that wasn't the plan? Yeah, I was just like, well, you know, just kind of out the window went the quietly retiring.
It's a thing. And then, thing and then of course after like it was either right around that time or maybe just after like there was calls from two or three teams like hey like dad you come in and it was just like no done yeah go listen to part of my take yeah and the fact that you like confirmed i i kind of knew you did that but the the fact that you told your agents like specifically like anyone who hits me up just tell them i'm not going to talk to them because i'm i'm i'm doing it all on part of my take thank you because that that was well i felt like that was where it all started like the first real interview i ever did or it felt like was with you guys at the super bowl and we tell us 14 well hold on story about that well hold on yeah i want the story about that but i have to just say that there was another interview that you did before that and i also talked to your agents about that the famous cribs episode with sophie julia they it's my mom's favorite they also told me a story that uh you did that episode and you didn't really tell your agents and they like had to put out a million fires after because you just had a bunch of sponsorships.
And everything in your house wasn't the sponsorship. Open your fridge.
And they were like, what the fuck, Blake? We just took money from these other people. There's no body armor in there.
There's no monster. Yeah.
The product placement wasn't great. It took me a couple years to understand the ramifications and the significance of being an NFL quarterback.
I lived like I was still playing in college for the first year or two. I was in the NFL.
That rocked. There was the interview that you did with us the first time.
I'll tell this story. We might actually have to cut this part out too, but I remember you had done a lot of media.
You're like, yeah, I trust these guys. I'll talk to them for a little bit.
And we asked you about the London games that the Jaguars would always play in. And you're like, yeah, it's crazy over there.
Like when you ask for a f***, they mean that they're asking for a cigarette. And then after we got off the call, me and Big Cat talked to me.
We were like, I don't think he said anything bad but i think that it would not be a good look for blake to have him saying that word out there so we quietly took that part out of the interview to have your back on it just to to spare you like a small headache uh but i don't think anybody i don't think we've ever told that story no we haven't that we took that part out but yeah i appreciate you guys protecting me on that and the dumb stuff that i i used to say a lot that I've tried to say a little less. Yeah.
I mean, it wasn't – that is the word they use over there. Yeah.
It's crazy. I just remember, like, the first time going over there and here and, like, I was the first – I mean, I was, I don't know, 22 years old and leaving the country for the first time in my life going to play football in London, playing playing at wembley stadium and um like unbelievable experience super cool but like we the first year i went we flew out we played sensei and then flew out after the game so we were there the entire week so we had a ton of time to go out and do stuff and get dinners and hang out and uh like hearing somebody say that like can i buy my it was just like yeah what are you saying no straight it's like it's that it's slang for uh cigarette yeah okay it's crazy yeah uh blake i don't know if you're aware of this but uh hank and i have been going through a similar thing recently where we've noticed that we're starting to lose our hair and uh we're wondering if you had any advice for us.
Shave it and grow a beard. No.
I can't do one of those. But yours, I mean, your hair's been, Hank, you look good.
Where's it going? In the front or the back? There's a little spot in the back, I see. Yeah, he's losing it in the back.
It's tiny. It's not even really noticeable right now to anybody except for hank but it's definitely but they got those just go to turkey that's what we're saying yeah i said i would go with them and i get a brazilian butt lift because i'm not losing my hair blake would you come with us if we went to turkey yeah i'll go i just i mean i feel like brian urlacher paved.
Like I used to always – like my thing was, which I held on to for a while, like I was obviously losing hair and I finally got – I don't know if I ever told you guys. Like I shaved my head for the first time because I was in L.A.
playing for the Rams and I found this barber and I went like four or five times and I was like, hey, you know, just give me the white boy fade on the sides and take a little off the top. And after like fourth or fifth time he just and i didn't really know the guy all that well outside of the 45 minutes i spent with him for the haircut he goes dude you need to just shave your fucking head yeah i think you're right dude it's time but shave it he's just you know kind of bullying me into shaving my head you used to be elite we we've talked about this used to be elite at the helmet off hat off, hat on.
Like, not even – you were so fast with it. It was probably – they should probably put that in the combine.
That'll go in the pamphlet. Yeah.
No one ever took their helmet off and put their hat on faster than Blake Portals. There was a quick, like – because what – like, if you're balding as a norm, or especially, like, being – like, I'm'm six foot five so walking around like nobody really

sees it but you go to play football in front of a stadium of you know however many people everybody's above you so me and my guy george um in the jacksonville equipment room had just an unbelievable assembly line of a helmet to hat switch off it's perfect practice all right uh Blake, this is very random that this happened when we had you on,

but Hank got a dm over the weekend that he's gonna have to read to you and we need you to address some allegations that you actually threw out there i don't know if you know what this is about it has something to do with you being on vacation and maybe someone coming up to you and talking to you yeah well they were talking about you know should we ask blake on and i i saw a dm this weekend i was like i think he's on vacation because some random guy dm me and said was on vacation this weekend and i happen to be at the same resort as bortles after mustering up the balls to say something to him with my brother-in-law i asked him how he likes his chances for this year's blake of the year he said very slim and his claim was because blake griffin cheats so blake griffin when the when it used to be blake griffin has the greatest wi-fi of all time because when you guys used to call and it was the first to answer i swear to god i could not have answered any quicker and blake griffin was beating me by half a second yeah so his xfinity or at&t or whatever he's got is just elite yeah so wait do you remember this guy coming up to you and asking you this yeah it was yesterday that's so funny that someone just i mean what is it like are you like what the fuck dude like this is or is it cool that someone's like coming up to you and being like hey i've been meaning to ask you blakely year how you feeling so i mean it's honestly probably one of the more most frequently things i get at like i would say people ask me more about blake of the year or pmt related stuff than anything football related but we were sitting at the pool um friday maybe and uh my fiance was like hey like i think that guy's taking pictures or videos of your stuff over there. And she goes, are you going to send that to Barstool? And I was like, yeah, but I don't think they'll post me over here lounging with my belly out in the pool.
I don't think that's kind of up their alley of stuff to do. So the fact that he actually reached out to Hank, that was pretty great.
Yeah. Yeah.
What about, have any advice for blake griffin in retirement blake to blake which i saw he uh he just retired right last in april yeah yeah awesome dude congrats what a career um no i'm sure he's got it figured out but he's he's in the golf he's talented he can do all kinds of stuff i got i got no advice for blake i'd actually like to hear some advice from him yeah yeah i i mean blake of the year is going to be big this year yeah i mean if we get brooks to i mean he's already he leads the world and live victory so he might as well retire we get all three of us retired it'd be great it's a blake retirement tour yeah yeah we would go have a full-on uh golf tournament for the blake of the year we're talking about what what to do for Blake of the Year. One idea that was thrown out there was to get everybody together.
Yeah. And to do maybe some sort of a – I don't know if it's a golf tournament, but it would obviously – Brooks would have to take a severe handicap in that.
Or you just make him play like left-handed. Is he still good left-handed? I think he's probably really good left-handed good? Not as good as I should be being retired.
What's your handicap? I think I'm a seven-something right now. Oh, that's good.
That's good, yeah. That's really good.
Came in second place and a member guest last week, so I got that going for me. And you're competing in the Barstool Classic, right, when it's in Florida? Yeah, hopefully, if Riggs ever lets me in.
Oh, did that not get taken care of? No, I don't know. All right, I'm on it.
Because I remember when you hit me up, it was very Blake Bortles of you. You're like, hey, is there any way that I could get in? I was like, dude, are you really asking me? Like, we'll do anything to get you in this.
Like your barstool royalty dude we i like i think i set an alarm because it went live at like 11 or 12 a friend of mine who i play in a bunch of tournaments and stuff with was like hey they got the barstool classic going on here josh scoby you remember that name kicker for the jags um he like facilitated the whole thing he belongs to the club where the tournament's at and um i was like all right yeah let's get in so i like fully signed this up like two minutes after it started and it was just like you're on the wait list we'll let you know if you get in and that was when i texted you wait so what what what uh what club is there where what city is it in it's in jacksonville it's like deerwood like closer to downtown jackson all right i'm sending a text right now to make sure this gets done to the to of the line. I mean, you have to be in it.
I mean, you have to be in it. I would love to.
I tried to go about it the right way. No, but you shouldn't have even done that.
You're too humble. But you can't have a Barstool Classic in Jacksonville without Blake Bortles.
That's not a real classic. Yeah.
I mean, maybe they just, you know, extra team in the field.

I don't want to take somebody's spot and rightfully registered.

I think if we, after this interview, someone will probably volunteer to give up their spot,

but we don't need to do that.

You're just in.

We'll figure out a way.

You're in.

No matter what.

No matter what.

Can't wait.

Yeah.

And then, yeah, stay tuned for Blake of the Year because we want to figure out a way

to get everybody in person for it.

Do it big.

Yeah, anything but lottery balls.

Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Do you big.
Anything but lottery balls. Yeah.

Do you want to pick a number?

Yeah, 19.

All right, 19.

This is Blake only.

Down, Max.

I can't believe you guys actually brought this thing to Chicago.

67.

67.

Yeah, close.

All right, Blake, I have one last question. question Wait I just got a text back Absolutely can you send me his information Alright we're in Yes That's a no brainer Alright Roback question Promo code take 20% off Your first purchase Polos, ho, shorts, rowback.com.
All right, so you mentioned at the beginning you're still building your house. Are you still doing some construction personally? Are you doing some cosplay? Are you getting over there and just getting with the guys every now and then? Yeah, I'm a locker room guy at the house.
I don't know anything. I ask multiple questions every time I'm over there.
I retain half the information, and I beer on Fridays. Oh, that's awesome.
Yeah. What a dude.
Yeah. Become good friends with like the guys that fret which they're like kind of all gone now.
Although the guys are like framed the entire house got close with the framers, which felt like my people. And then so now we've moved on the drywall.
There's a bit of a language barrier going on now but we're overcoming through Budweiser um and then I think we're we're close to meeting the roofers I met the roofers great dudes um and then I'm looking forward to hanging with the painters yeah this might be why it's taking so long is they just want to keep hanging out with you which yeah it's really backfiring because like in my mind I was like dude hang out with them buy beer like they'll love you they'll do it the right way but i think i think yeah you're exactly right i think they're just kind of um procrastinating not for the hangout yeah like why would i ever why would i ever finish a job if every friday i got free beer and got to hang out with blake portals yeah that's either either they think you're too nice of a boss or they just love hanging out with you yeah yeah one of the other i'm either. I'm either getting taken advantage of, which I'm sure is probably the more likely option.
Or, you know, we did play. There was a guy, an awesome dude.
His name's 95 because he was born in 1995. Electrician, they call him 95.
But guys were great. They crushed everything they did, wiring and everything throughout the house.
They brought a football out one day, and we just had a catch, and it just stopped work. Everybody stopped what they were doing from our house, the houses around.
And next day, it felt like you were at just gym class in sixth grade, and we're just playing a 15-wave catch. I love that.
That's amazing. What a visual.
I would never finish that house. Ever.
Ever. No.
It's probably good for you, too. You're learning Spanish.
Yeah. Oh, it's a blast, dude.
We went over the other day. The guys just like, and haven't necessarily met anybody by name in the drywall department, but they had the Spanish music bump in, and it was just, you know, it really set us up for a good night, because you walked in, and it was like, like, all right, we're going to Mexican tonight, margaritas.

Love it.

I love it.

All right, well, Blake, we'll talk in about a month and a half for Blake of the Year.

We've got to figure it out.

And then I'll make sure that you're set up with the Barstool Classic.

I'm excited to see you win that thing.

Look forward to it.

Don't you top three teams go in there like a championship that they do out in Arizona?

Yeah, and this is going to be the start of the championship DVD.

This is a great deal. to i can't don't you uh like top three teams go in there like a championship that he they do out in arizona yeah and this is going to be the start of the championship dvd this like little segment on the podcast being like this is when it all came out and you're going to win the whole thing that's right i can't wait it'll be a blast thanks for helping me out yeah all right well blake thanks again man appreciate it always great talking to you great talking to you Talk soon.
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For do-it-yourself projects to road trips, off-season adventures to tailgates whatever your thing is it all starts with a chevy truck okay let's finish up the show you have an embrace debate for us pft yes i have an embrace debate uh it's a good discussion that i think we should be having it's from ed latimore ed latimore uh former professional boxer okay he had this take on slash X. Something a lot of men don't like to admit.
All of your hobbies and ambitions are to attract women. Nature doesn't care how much personal fulfillment you get from them.
Those things are cool, but they're coincidental positive externality to the prime objective to keep the species going. Every hobby that you have is designed to attract women fact or fiction i mean my only hobby is gambling do you think women are attracted by flight simulators no serious question no no uh more than gambling that's a good embrace debate yeah i think flight simulator would definitely get you mean, gambling has to be the least attractive thing to a woman.
If you're good at it. Yeah, if you're good.
No. I'm not.
But that's a good point, Hank. Like, really good gamblers, they're swimming in it.
Yeah, that's my only hobby, so I don't know what I would be. I think women are attracted to the fact that I shot an 89 today.
Some. There are some.
How'd you shoot on the back nine? Good one. Do we have the least amount of hobbies as a podcast? Let's see.
I have zero. You have no hobbies? Vacations.
Nope. That's a good hobby.
I would be attracted to a woman. Max yelling at sports on TV isn't a hobby? That's job.
That's true. Memes, what's your hobby? Oh, Call of Duty.
Okay. duty okay you have video games no don't do that memes your hobby's helicopter parenting a turtle what's that what's that what didn't you sometimes memes just like does he just doesn't speak he just looks i think he just does i also think memes doesn't understand like common phrases like helicopter parenting, you've never heard that? No.
Like someone who's just a parent who's obsessive about their child to a point where it's unhealthy? Oh, that makes sense. They're always flying over them, being like, oh, what are they doing? What's Mr.
Pear doing? Did he eat his poop again? Yeah, probably. He's a fucking dumb ass turtle who can't pick games yeah i recently got into zoology okay shane what's your hobby well we know what your hobby is but what's your real what's your what's your hobby you can say i we you know i don't even know man work Do you want us to say your hobby then? Sure.
Combos? She plays guitar. No, I do play guitar.
Dude, you are combos, man. Yes.
Yeah, PFT, your hobby is guitar. That is meant to attract women.
I play guitar too. It's done a very poor job.
I think the flight simulator simulator, like the flight simulator cancels out the guitar. But your guitar, your number one hobby is guitar.
You're really good at guitar. No, don't say that.
You are. I don't think that I'm really good at guitar.
But you are really good at guitar. I think I'm a slightly above average guitar player.
And then I am a- Chicks love guys who play guitar. But I'm a below average flight simulator player.
So what would be... Oh, Pug has entered.
Pug, what is your hobby? This would be good. Pug.
Going for a walk. Good boy.
Pug. Pug saw the Northern Lights.
So this guy's only... I think the only hobbies that he's talking about is guys who work out a lot and then guys who are like into fashion maybe well he's a boxer so maybe his hobby was just beating people up yeah and that is like designed to get chicks you can protect them let me google what hobbies fishing girls love guys that catch big most attractive to women.
Hobbies. Cooking.
Cooking. Exercise.
So outdoor recreation. But I've also heard people say, like, isn't cooking feminine? Yeah, but I think that's something like, girls, if you're like a really good cook.
Like this guy would say that cooking. I don't think cooking is feminine, but a guy like this would say that that's feminine.
Yeah, politics and pets. Yeah, I guess pets.
Okay. Photography and Hank, you do photography art and sport.
I'd assume that's playing the sport, not sitting on our asses watching the sport. You think that's how that's attractive.
We run some pickup. Yeah, I mean, we don't have any.
I think maybe i i could say we're we are probably pretty funny guys yeah but that's not a hobby no it's not so yeah we have nothing we have literally nothing in this podcast in terms of hobbies so this guy is this guy wrong i i think the vast majority of guys do hobbies because they want to do something besides work. I think he's just talking about people who exercise.
That's their hobby. And it's exercising and owning a boat.
Having money. Yeah, those are the attractive things to women.
Gambling, golfing, flight simulators, helicopter parenting turtles, combos, going for walks,

Max clogging toilets.

I don't know.

Complaining to your deli guy.

Yeah.

I feel like you probably clog your shower drain too with all that fucking hair.

Oh, you probably shit in your shower.

The waffle stop?

I mean, this is crazy.

Wait, who told me there was a...

Was it Mel Gibson?

Someone said that Mel Gibson takes a shit in every shower he goes into.

There's no can't be true.

Every hotel he goes into, he takes a shit.

That's the funniest...

That is a funny rumor though.

Takes a shit.

No, there's a thing called the waffle stop. It might just be an online thing.
I don't know if people actually do it, but people say that they do it. Do you want to know what it is? Yeah, no, I know what it is.
I'm going to give people the opportunity to stop the podcast now. I know exactly what it is.
Where you shit on the drain, and then you stomp on your shit that's on the drain to push it down. Shane is ferociously agreeing with you right now.
About the Mel Gibson? Oh. The waffle style.
Is it a thing? It's a big Urban Dictionary thing. Yeah, Mel Gibson does it.
Do people actually do that? I don't know. That's a hobby.
I think it's like a Urban Dictionary. It would be a hobby.
Max, a lot of people have my back about the deli situation. Saying very, very was too much.
Shut up. They did.
They were like, that's offensive to say very, very to a deli man. People were saying everything.
No, they said that mostly. You probably saw like three tweets being like, oh yeah, big cat, you're right.
That's about right, yeah. I think it might have been two.
Max, by the way, I got a shipping confirmation. I completely forgot that we had ordered you a cheese slicer.
So that's going to be a giant box arriving. Yeah, we got that for you.
Ready. Yeah.
Okay. That's the show.
Let's do numbers. We got a little twist here.
Max and I have, I don't know how long this tradition will last, but we've started a tradition. We're going to at least do it one more week where we just decided we were bored on Thursday.
We did 40 free throws, and the winner got the loser's number on Sunday night's show. So now we set a line.
Credit to me for being a great odds maker. I set the line at four and a half.
I missed the last free throw to only beat Max by four. He did beat me.
I beat him. It was out of 40.
I did beat him. I beat him by four, but the line was four and a half.
It was a very fair spread. What was the number made? I think we made like 32.
We actually shot so bad that we made Pug and Shane leave and then come back and pretend that we had just started, that we were on our last 10 free throws. We're like, all right, so I've made 28 out of 30, and Max, it was bad.
Whatever. The camera came on, we shot like shit.
So anyway, Max has my number here, so I get to select a number. If it hits, it counts as Max's win.

Okay.

I'm all right with this happening one time.

This can't be a normal thing because I'm matched up against Max now.

I can't have Max beating me.

You can't be giving Max extra turns without my permission.

PFT.

If Max wins with my number, do you know how much I have over him for the rest of our lives?

That'll be a win. It'll be the biggest Mickey Mouse.
You can't win without my number. Think about it.
Win. He's put himself in such.
No, don't care. I'll reverse it because I've already won.
So if I win with his number, also, PFT, I promise you I will not lose again. Okay.
I will not lose again. Okay.
So we're going to do it at least one more time. I will not.
And the line's always four. No.
The line goes. So since I lost, it's now three and a half.
I'll win that. And if I win, then it goes back to four and a half.
If he wins with my number, that's the biggest cuck move of all time. Win.
Yeah. You know what I've done, PFT, here.
I put us in a very good spot. Max knows it, too.
Yeah. Oh, he knows.
He's fighting it right now, but he knows it.

He knows.

Well, I mean, I'm not fighting anything and nothing's happened yet.

And the reverse is true that if I won with Max's, I would spin it and be like, you can't win on your own.

I have to take your number to win this.

He's fucked.

He's so fucked.

He doesn't realize what he's done to himself.

All right.

So I'm going to select my number just regular.

And then it will be yours.

Okay.

All right.

Numbers.

20.

8.

46.

3.

I thought you were going to pick 20, and I didn't want that.

Yeah.

99, Pug.

21.

I'll go with one. Okay.
What was yours, Hank? Max, have you ever gotten this? 46. No, PFT, have you ever gotten this? Not yet.
What was your number, PFT? Eight. 45.
Oh, no, Hank. So close, Hank.

We've already gotten it.

Yeah.

So Max just couldn't even get it with two numbers.

No, it's tough.

What a loser.

Damn, yeah.

Damn.

Dude, he's got – how many numbers do you need to be able to get this?

Probably 100.

You can't even do it with two?

I'd take 100.

How many shows have we done on this office?

What a loser.

How many times have we drawn the lotto ball here?

76.

Was that a guess? That was a guess. You said it very assertively.
Wait, I want to just do one. This doesn't count for anything other than just for my own fun here.
Max, pick a number that it won't be. I'm not going to pick.
Pick one number that it won't be. I'm not going to answer any question.
Pick one number that it won't be. Nope.
Come on, Max. This is for the people.
Pick one number. Pick one number.
No. One number that it won't be.
No. Why won't you do this? You're being a baby.
Three. Okay.
Okay. 47.
Wow, Hank, you were on it.

47 and 45.

Love you guys. I'm all over.
See, I knew it wasn't day to find you. Shine it away.
I'm coming for your lover. Take on me.
Take me on. I'll be gone.
And after I'm taking you. I'm feeling it's safe.
I'm all saying it. It's for me.
It's no better to be safe than so Take on me Take me on I'll be on And I'll be on All the things that you say Yeah, it's easy to lie for Just to blame those words All the things that you say Every little I know Just to blame those words away From all the things I've come to remember Shine away I'll be coming through anyway Shine away I'll be coming through anyway Take on me, take me up.

I'll be gone indeed.

Thanks again.

Thanks again.

Thanks again.

Thanks again.