Chicago Bulls’ Alex Caruso, The A’s Moving To Sacramento, Stefon Diggs Traded And Tiger Stopped Having Sex

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Sign up for Greenlight today at greenlight.com slash podcast. On today's part of my take, we have Chicago Bulls guard Alex Caruso in studio.
Awesome interview with Alex Caruso. It's been a long time coming.
Great talk with him about the NBA. A little March Madness talk.
Awesome time with him. We've got a lot of stuff we've got to get to.
The A's are officially going to Sacramento. The NCAA is trying to stop UConn from getting to Phoenix.
We have the Stefan Diggs trade. And we have Fyre Fest.
We got a lot to get to on a Friday show. We're going to get right back to the show.
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All right, back to part of my take. Okay, let's go.
Boy! Boy! Now in the street there is violence And then a lot of stuff is worth to be done No place to hang out or wash in And then I can't blame all on the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to electric avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh we're gonna rock down to electric avenue It's part of My Take presented by Marshall Sports. Welcome to Part of My Take presented by DraftKings.
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So go check it out and use code take today is Friday,

April 5th. And the NCAA is trying to screw the Connecticut Huskies.

They're doing everything they can.

The Huskies were delayed on the tarmac.

They had a plane issue or not on the tarmac.

There was a plane that was coming in from Kansas city.

Yes.

It got delayed.

Yukon didn't get out to Arizona until early this morning.

Three,

four in the morning?

Yeah, so they're doing it.

Mayor Pete, he's an Indiana guy.

Maybe he's thinking throw the Huskies off.

Purdue, they beat him in the championship.

I don't know.

There's a lot of stuff going on with the NCAA going after UConn.

But fortunately for Danny Hurley, he now has the fuel.

It wouldn't shock me if Danny Hurley actually delayed that flight.

Yeah.

False flag.

So, therefore, he could complain about this. But whatever it is, they've got motivation.
They fucked with the Huskies. I know people are like, oh, well, it's two days ahead.
That's the most important sleep. This is the sleep before the most important sleep, isn't it? I think it's Jack Mack, our colleague, talked to a sleep expert and said that when you go through time zones, it's a day per time zone.

So three days to get feeling good.

And they got there Thursday morning.

So they won't feel good until probably Sunday.

Okay.

Because Jim Harbaugh's stance is that it's the night before the night before.

Right.

Right.

So this would be the night before the night before the night before.

But you can't get a good night's sleep the night before the night before if you got all fucked up in your head the night before the night before the night before.

It's messed up. Yeah.
It's messed up. They're trying to take down the Huskies.
But, yeah, we're getting ready for the Final Four. We're going to be there in Arizona.
So we will be on location. We'll be at the game on Saturday night.
We're going to be doing a watch party on Monday night. Are you excited, Hank? I'm super excited.
How many golf games you got planned? Just one. Just playing tomorrow.
Just one? We're going to Topgolf, too. That's for work, though.
Yep. Have to do that.
Have to do that. And we were talking about maybe squeezing in the Tiger Woods putt-putt thing that he has out there.
That's more like location scout. Yeah.
Or maybe something in the future. Who knows? Oh, and we were also talking about...
I wasn't invited to that when is that we have we haven't locked it in jeff d low hit me up oh okay we're also talking about maybe doing a par three but that's not golf no and it's not locked in well neither is top golf it's golf but it's not it's not golf but it is golf it is golf yeah so we're gonna be excited we'll be out there we'll get we'll get to our picks a minute. Let's talk about some other things.
The Oakland Athletics have officially announced that they're moving to Sacramento temporarily. Yeah, for I think, what is it, three years and then a fourth year option? Something like that.
Yeah, so we got all types of scumbags we got to go through for this. You guys have heard us talk about how much we hate John Fisher, that fucking idiot.
John Fisher got in front of the people of Sacramento and said that he is very excited to be able to watch some of the greatest players in baseball, whether they be athletics players or Aaron Judge and others. This fucking dude doesn't know anyone on his team.
No, he doesn't. He just wants, he's selling the idea of good baseball players will play here.
Also, that i own yeah here and it's what a 10 000 seat stadium 15 i think he said it's the most intimate environment in baseball yeah so it's it's official the the grounds crew i think in in the coliseum didn't find they found out via twitter uh this was obviously like it felt like it was going to happen and then it happened officially on Thursday. We also had Vivek, the owner of the Kings, total scumbag as well because he bought the Kings to keep the Kings in Sacramento, which was an admirable move.
And now he's just basically laundering the A's for them and being like, yeah, we'll take you for a few years. It's a halfway home before you go to Vegas.
He also had a quote, Vivek, when I bought the Kings, I said that Sacramento would never play second fiddle to any other city. That makes no sense.
You're literally playing second fiddle to Las Vegas. And Oakland.
And Oakland. You're getting a temporary fiddle.
Yeah. It's just a who's who cast of characters of people that you should all hate and it's ridiculous the way this has been handled from start to finish obviously it's been a clusterfuck but the the fact that they have to find a stadium to move to before they move to their new stadium is just absurd right to like just find a a place that you can crash at essentially for and it's not just for a season that's what's crazy is like they're going to be doing this for multiple years, staying in Sacramento, all the while trying to design a stadium which actually hasn't been designed yet in Las Vegas.
It's a bad look for baseball. I'm going to say it.
Bad look for baseball. Bad look for Rob Manford.
Bad look for Rob Manford. Bad look for Vivek, the owner of the Kings, who, again, the hypocrisy of being like we're not gonna let uh someone come in and take the kings and then just being the handoff for the a's yeah total bullshit so unfortunately it feels like this is all gonna happen whether we make a stink i mean we're small a small small piece of all this it's obviously the city of oakland our goal should just be for the rest of time is just to remind people that john fisher is a fucking coward scumbag loser yeah i'm okay with doing that and they also they have locked their uh their tweets so you can't reply they did that a while ago yeah but to tweet out being like we're going to sacramento and no one can reply you're cowards you're cowards and you're losers, John Fisher? You're rich, dude.
Why don't you have hair? That's a good point. You fucking idiot.
He's very, very bald. See, this is where we got to take it.
I think we just got to take it to the personal level and just be like, John Fisher, bro, you can't fucking get money for a new stadium and you can't get hair? Yeah, John Fisher, your family owned the gap. Then it looks like your teeth own the gap right now, bro.
Get to the dentist. Oh, shit.
No wonder Aaron Judge is his favorite player. See an ortho.
I also didn't realize. I was reading up more about John Fisher.
He bought a piece of the Giants back in the 90s to keep the Giants in San Francisco. Yeah, he bought the Giants, and then he said, you know what? I'm going to buy the the a's so that i can make money it's a classic case of a guy wanting to prove that he can make money but the only way he knows how to make money on his own without mom and dad holding his hand is to take mom and dad's money and then buy a guaranteed asset that's going to increase no matter how bad you fuck it up yeah and then you can say look i did so i made something of myself it's a classic feel fucking loser and i guarantee you like he should he should have to be quizzed on his entire roster because there's no way he knows his entire roster and i i wouldn't be shocked if he also thinks brad pitt works it is in his facility yeah where's jonah hill well i haven't seen him in a while yeah it's it's a sad state of affairs major league baseball right now and there's nothing you can do about it except say john fisher's a fucking loser for and has no hair from now until the end of time you can remind him that he's bald yeah because guess what that ain't coming back come on the podcast though we won't ask any bald questions i'll ask one actually you know what john fisher because you're such a broke boy i will pay for your hair restoration if you come on the podcast.
So make that a quote card. John Fisher, it should say, John Fisher, because you're a bald fuck, Big Cat will pay for your hair restoration for one appearance on Pardon My Take.
I think that's a fair deal. That's a fair deal.
Because he's bald. Take it.
Because he's bald. You bald bitch, you alopecia, no hair having bitch.
How much does that cost? A lot? Like 50 grand. He's really bald.
So probably a lot. Yeah.
But all that money's tied up. And his suit wasn't even that good.
You own the gap. He's got to do a security deposit.
It's kind of like baggy. It looked like shit.
The collar was bad. Yeah.
The collar was bad. All time collar.
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Other things we got to talk about um stefan diggs was traded from buffalo yeah i think that this uh probably something that had to happen i would say so so he was not happy at the end of last season he was not happy during last season or really ever it feels like i think he started not being happy it was like the playoff loss to the bangles yeah it was like basically an entire year of not being happy yeah so he's unhappy he had to leave town he's making a bunch of money so they traded him to the texans the texans gave up a second round pick in next year's draft yep but they also took three years off his contract i believe yep so he's going to be a free agent it's a one-year rental go back stefan digs maybe maybe it's coming home i i do love this move for the texans i think it's genius move for the texans they are basically going all in under cj stroud's rookie contract this is what a team should do yeah like if you're texans fans you should be really pumped especially because cj stroud's not like if if they were drafting a quarterback like do you really want stefan digs with a rookie quarterback that feels like a problem because let's just be honest. Stefan Diggs is an awesome football player.
But if you get traded twice in your prime, there might be it might be you. Yeah, it might be you.
This is also a great business move on on Stefan Diggs's part because he's going to get to be a free agent again. Yeah, he's going to get paid again.
And it's good if you're a Texans fan, too, because going into this off offseason you were probably thinking like best case scenario we get maybe t higgins yeah if he doesn't get tagged t higgins gets tagged and you're like well fuck that was kind of the big name that was out there now you got a better player than t higgins and they have an awesome receiving court they're all in i i mean the i just love that a team is being proactive with the fact that like cj C.J. Stroud, outside of Mahomes, is probably the most valuable quarterback

in the NFL next year.

The guy that you'd want to build around the most.

Well, not even talent-wise.

Mahomes is Mahomes because he's Mahomes.

You can just win with Mahomes no matter what.

But I'm saying, like, C.J. Stroud, talent plus contract is probably number two.

If you had to pick a quarterback, and all contracts matter, you'd still take mahomes one even though he's getting a lot of money i think you probably take cj stroud too because you're like oh i can build everything else up and we have three years four years here where he's not going to get paid this max money it also marks a very big change in the the houston texans philosophy for years they were great at drafting they've always drafted great players but then they trade their players yeah or they let them go yeah they never really bring in big name outside free agents this is now like a complete uh 180 turnaround from what the texans have done it feels like for the last 10 years yeah so they're actually going out there they are being proactive they got um mixed net running back right yep who i guess that's fine yeah i think he's a pretty good running back uh and then you got nico collins nico collins tank dell dell and you got a good defense that's young and getting better credit to a coach dick casario good job nick i'm talking myself into the texans yeah well that's the other thing is now we have we know who the team is going to be this offseason yeah where it's the trendy pick of a team they're going to say, like, who's your dark horse? The Texans, they shouldn't be a dark horse. They should be a pale horse.
They should be, like, the team that everybody should be focusing on. But everyone's going to talk this offseason, like, my surprise pick for next year is the Houston Texans.
Yeah, and now for the Bills, the Bills are not better without Stephon Diggs. That's just a fact.
Like, they're not a better football team when Stephon Diggs is not on their team. But they had to do something not only because of Stephon Diggs, but they've been in a cap hell where they went all in the last few years.
And, you know, even that Chiefs, like the Chiefs have rebuilt on the fly with Mahomes and got younger. The Bills were a very old roster, had to make some tough decisions, had to cut some players, had to trade Stephon Diggs.
I know people will get upset about this, but I still think that if you have Josh Allen, you still have a shot. Yeah, I know, and people are like, this is so stupid.
But when you have a franchise quarterback, you have to reset and overturn your roster a couple times over. The Bills should be criticized for going all in with this older team that wasn't able to win a Super Bowl, but now this is the reality.
They have to hit their hard reset. They have to make some tough decisions.
They can't miss on the draft, but that's just the reality of it. And even still, if you're a Bills fan, as doom and gloom as it might seem to trade Stephon Diggs, you have Josh Allen, and if you draft well, you'll still'll still have a shot yeah so with josh allen he's probably going to be running the ball a lot at the start of next year until he can like establish who his receivers are who he trusts um maybe gabe davis maybe he plays every game like he's not on the bills not on the bills anymore fuck okay so i did know that but he basically wasn't on the bills for 75% of the game.
Yeah, that's true. Yeah.

I think it's Shakir is their number one right now.

Okay.

So they.

Well, and they also have, they still have Dalton Kincaid and Dawson Knox.

That's true.

They've got.

Curtis Samuel and Matt Collins.

Curtis Samuel.

Matt Collins.

Curtis Samuel's nice if you like doing pop passes and reverses and shit like that.

They draft 28th.

So I don't know if they're going to look to add a wide receiver.

It is a deep wide receiver class.

Yeah. Polk from Washington.
He'll be there. I don't know.
It's just like, to add a wide receiver. It is a deep wide receiver class.
Yeah, Polk from Washington, he'll be there. I don't know, it's just like it's one of those, it's a hard reality.
It sucks if you're a Bills fan because Stefan Diggs didn't work out, but I think you had to move on because it was not tenable, and now you have to be like, all right, here comes the hard reset, here comes a couple years where Josh is going to have to be superhero, and hopefully they're able to nail some draft picks and get a young roster around Josh Allen who will still play for a long time. And getting a second round pick next year is not bad.
No. Like that's a decent haul.
There's not very many players outside of quarterbacks that would be worth a first round pick. The only issue is they probably waited to a point where it was clear that they needed to get rid of Stefan Diggs so their their hands were tied a little bit like it was clear they had like you never want to be in a negotiating spot where everyone's like oh they really don't want him on the team anymore maybe maybe a deal that should have been done last year yeah one year too late when you still had a gabe davis on your team yeah yeah maybe bring cole beasley beasley back i don't know i feel like bills fans understand the reality of it that like you just this is what happens when you have to pay your all-world quarterback.
And now you've got to start making some good moves and some cheap moves and hopefully guys step up. I'd say it's a win-win for both teams.
I just think Stefan Diggs was like, he was causing, we talked about the Diva receivers, he's number one right now. Yeah, the Instagram king.

The Instagram complete.

There's so many players.

I never understand why players do this,

why they, like, post something extremely inflammatory on social media,

on Instagram, on, like, their story,

and then they delete it after, like, an hour.

Yeah.

And then they act like it didn't happen.

Yeah, oh, yeah.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Yeah, I didn't know.

My phone got hacked.

Yeah. It was good, though, to see a big NFL trade.

Yeah, never happens.

Traces flowing. Never happened.
They did. The Bills did sign Lael Collins, so that was nice.
Okay, cool, cool. Someone to protect.
Yeah, cool, cool. Yeah, good, good.
But you know what I'm saying? Like, Josh is probably – over the course of last year, he started to run the ball more, and their offense – they started to win games. Yeah.
When they kind of played into those strengths, I think he's going to go back to that at the start of next year especially if he doesn't have these dynamic downfield receivers so it is funny though watching some fan bases be like that's the death of the bills i i think that it's as long as you have a if you have a top five quarterback on your team you're never dead and i think that because mahomes is so great everyone behind mahomes gets diminished to a point where you're like yeah i think a lot of teams would still want Josh Allen. I want to start keeping track, too, of all the teams that go all in and still end up losing to Mahomes.
Yeah, he's the thief of joy. He's the thief of joy.
There are going to be so many teams that go all in. They're like, now's our chance.
And then Mahomes just keeps beating them. Yeah, that's the last level of greatness.
Like, being great is one thing. But then when you get to that last level of greatness, Brady, Mahomes, youomes you know MJ in the 90s where it's like you can actually point and be like he took at least a couple Super Bowls from this guy yeah like Peyton Manning would probably have three Super Bowls if it wasn't for four Super Bowls if it wasn't for Tom Brady yeah the Niners they were all in yeah stole their joy Texans are gonna try to go all in seems like there's a lot of teams out there.
The Ravens. Dolphins.
The Ravens have been all in yeah stole their joy texans are going to try to go all in seems like there's a lot of teams out there the ravens dolphins the ravens have been all in although they lost a lot in free agencies yeah they'll go all in again yeah they'll figure out a way to go all in the chargers all in the bears are going to go all in do you see caleb blumes was in chicago bears are kind of all in he went out to dinner he went out to dinner with some players he stopped by the. Yep.
It'd be funny if they didn't draft him, if they're like, we didn't like his order. I mean, I'm going to paint my nails for draft night, so if we don't draft him, that's going to be a problem.
Yeah, no, you guys are going to draft him. That's going to be a real problem for your boys.
It's going to go Williams number one, and then who knows. Now, we're in the thick of mock draft season where people are doing new mock drafts just so that they can have a different quarterback going at number two.
Yeah. So people will click on it and then they'll change it again right before the draft.
Are you a little worried about Jaden Daniels' elbow? He's got a freaky fucking elbow. That thing is weird.
He's got like a three-inch protrusion on his elbow. Well, elbow's not- Is elbow important for a quarterback? Nah.
No, not the bursitis that he has. So obviously I did a deep dive on what the fuck is on his elbow.
Because if I'm going to be rooting for that elbow, I want to know what's going on. You're going to have to get intimate with that elbow.
I might have to just hit my elbow like you're painting your nails. Yeah.
I might just bash my elbow against a table. Take a hammer to your elbow.
Until I get a dick that grows out of the inner arm. No, you can't be nervous.
I'm not nervous. You said he's fine.
Yeah, everyone says it's fine. It's a completely normal elbow.
It's a fine-looking elbow. It's a good elbow, Hank.
So it's a coincidence that it's throwing arm? You might end up with Jaden Daniels. Yeah, it's bursitis.
No, I'm trying to find out more. I didn't understand.
It seems... Read a book, Hank.
It's bursitis, dude. How does one acquire bursitis? By being too good at quarterback and winning a high school.
Throwing too much. But it's not a concern.
By dominating people. Yeah, you got to get rid of it by throwing less.
What happens if it gets worse? Oh, wait. So, wait, Hank.
So, the other quarterbacks in this draft, the one that you're looking at right now. We're looking at all of them.
Drake May. You're looking at Cowboys? Mm-hmm.
Do they have bursitis? No, it sounds like they don't throw footballs that much.

Jayden Daniels has bursitis because he practices so hard.

Yeah.

That's a guy I want on my team.

Backed.

Yeah, I'm not going to bash him.

I hope we get him.

The new Moneyball is drafting a quarterback with a fucked up elbow that looks like a modern

art sculpture.

Mm-hmm.

Did you guys see Harbaugh's strength and conditioning coach, who is a Badger, Ben Herbert? Yep. Did you see his introductory press conference? No.
Oh, my God. I'll just play one little clip from it because it made me want – I actually think that we should hire a strength and conditioning coach here.
Like, I kind of want someone to come and, like, kick my ass. But let me play this one clip.
Hold on. And a get-back guy that just holds Miny off from stepping in front of cameras yeah all right here it is this is philosophy stopping him from having conversations in the office this fire you up training is that i don't know if there's two people that view it the same uh there are concepts that different people believe in that may match up but i view training in this way and this how I told it to the guys.
My first goal is to make you harder to break. Yep.
That's it. People often may say- Just make you harder to break.
This is also a great quote from Harbaugh today. So he said, the back is just an untapped goldmine of lean muscle mass.
Ooh, I like that. I love that too.
It does sound like he's looking at players like he wants to eat them. Like he's evaluating a cut of venison.
Yeah. Like that's such a gold mine.
I'd like to sink my teeth into that. But his whole point is that if you have a strong back, it supports your neck.
That's what... And then your neck supports your brain.
Yeah, Ben Herbert said that the first thing I showed them was trap exercises to support their brain. He also talked about emotional intelligence.

And I just love this is the most intense dude ever.

Here's what he said.

Oh, Coach Herb got the juice today.

He's feeling good.

He's happy.

He's excited.

Well, then it rains.

And I feel a certain type of way.

Or I told the guys, I have a wife, two boys, two dogs.

I have a car with four tires.

If I get a flat tire, I'm not going to take it out on you.

If something happens, I don't change emotionally.

When I walk in the facility, who you know me to be is who I am.

Same guy all the time.

All the time.

Yeah.

It doesn't matter if his wife's mad at him.

Yeah.

And just so we're clear, he's got two dogs, two kids, wife, four tires dogs two kids wife four tires right at the same level all those matter just the same exact and he's also tougher than the weather yeah he's like if it rains i'm not gonna i don't know anyone who who's tougher than the weather if it's if it's shitty out you're you feel shitty he's tougher than the weather i like that uh he's gonna be a force i i can't wait for harbaugh to just do his press conferences just we get all of Harbaugh NFL content all the time. Because he doesn't have to be as careful, too.
He doesn't. I hope he cheats, too.
I hope he brings some of that extra spy shit to the NFL. Yeah.
All right. Last thing I had was Tiger Woods isn't having sex.
Isn't that what you'd say if you were having a lot of sex? Well, at first, the headline was like, actual headline because it looked like from his friend it looked like tiger woods penis actually wrote the story so he's focusing on winning the masters by not having sex tiger woods has eliminated sex while training for the masters it's until only recently that golfers have even started having sex back in the 90s golfers were nerds isn't this but didn't tiger win when he was having sex that was when he was tiger tiger was at his best when his but he hurt his back yeah but that was also because he tried to be a navy seal but he also got his back blown out that too but tiger was winning championships he was winning majors when his when like the uh the grip of his putter smelled like absolute shit from his hands perkins waitresses the dirtier tiger was the better he was getting it in the hole now he's gonna not do maybe he just can't have sex because he like he can't walk maybe uh there's always like before the world cup there's always one like brazilian soccer manager that says like i've had my guys not having sex for three months now yeah they're ready to go i feel like i don't know if tiger i i want tiger to be competitive but if he doesn't play well after he spent the entire like month not having sex he's going to have so much sex yeah next masters eliminating sex so it just feels like the wrong thing for Tiger to do. He needs to be having sex.

I are the Tiger.

I want my Tiger fucking.

Yeah.

I want him just loose.

Yeah, and the more he fucks, the more Charlie Woodses we have.

Who's next up?

Next up.

Next up.

All right, do we have anything else before we talk?

Maybe a little picks on Final Four.

Any other stories going around?

Congrats to the Celtics for winning the Eastern Conference. That officially happened? Now that that the knicks have uh yeah we clinched the best record in the nba nice yeah julius randall not going to play anymore this year so i think they were about 50 they were about 500 with him out of the lineup but people were saying if he comes back they could be the ones that could threaten the celtics in the east so who is this exactly julius rand also just was like, I don't want to, like last year went so bad.
Yeah. Maybe I just don't want to deal with this.
Yeah, there's just nobody in the East at all. Am I forgetting your teams? Oh, who's that? Somebody else came back? Somebody else came back.
What do you think about Joel Embiid wearing Skechers, Max? Who cares? Their sneakers. Okay.
All right. You want your guy wearing the best gear.
I want my guy well-supported from whatever company will support him the best. Okay.
Skechers just doesn't seem like that's a skateboarding brand. No, yeah, you can think that.
I will. You can think that, yeah.
You're entitled to your own opinion. He came back.
Sixers without Maxie. Beat the Thunder.

They were without Shea Gilchrist without Alexander.

But Sixers are back.

Okay.

By the way, Max, I forgot to say congratulations to the Villanova women for finishing third in the NIT.

Second.

No, WBIT.

WBIT.

Oh.

So it actually doesn't count as a real second because it was not even the second tournament.

No, that is the second. Well, we had a debate.
There's a WNIT n it and a w bit we don't know which one is yes we do the w bit is better in the second place yes you finish second in the second place tournament correct wow like this is what yes you're just a walk yeah you're just it's kind of like when you buy a car and then all of a sudden you see your car everywhere. You're like, oh, man, I didn't know how many people had this car.
As soon as Max finished second once, we just started noticing. It's like he finishes second everywhere.
All the time. Everywhere.
But anywhere you look, he's finishing second. That's a bad example because when you buy a car and you notice that car everywhere, it's not like there's a ton of those cars.
It's just that you notice them more. It's like whatever kind of bias that is.
With Max, it really just opened our eyes to it. Yeah, and then people were all, like the Little League video we put out the other day, I finished second in that tournament.
Oh, no. I didn't know that.
So people were reminding me of that the other day. Yeah.
Oh, man. Dave and Buster's commercial we did.
That's true. You finished second? Yeah.
Science Fair finished second. Fuck.
Hey, memes, do we have a- I was excited for that second. Do we have an update on Mr.
Pear? People want the Mr. We want Mr.
Pear bad. Yeah, I'm going to try to get it next week.
Okay. Him.
Get him. Mr.
Pear. Not it.
I'm either getting a tortoise that we're just going to call a turtle. Here's what I'm worried about with the tortoise, though, memes.
I'm told that tortoises can live like 20, 30 years. Yeah.
I would feel bad if a turtle tortoise, excuse me, died after like six months if its lifespan was supposed to be 30. That was my number one worry about this from the start.
Yeah. Now, if it's just a turtle and it does bad, we'll rip that shit up like, what was the turtle that was at Florida State? Turntle? Yeah.
Yeah, we'll tear that turtle in half if he stinks. Turntle got ripped in half by, what was it? Aguayo.
Aguayo Brothers. Yeah.
Yeah, one of the Aguayos. So you're going to get it next week? I'm going to try to get it next week.
Maybe make a master's game. So that means we're not going to get it next week.
But yeah, wait. So you're going to get a tortoise or what's the other option?

I was speaking to a zookeeper.

He said get a box turtle.

They're easier to take care of.

And will a box turtle actually make picks for us?

I think so.

It eats pears.

It does eat pears.

That's good.

Mr. Pear.

Oh, Mr. Pear.

Mr. Pear.
We could just make the longest videos of him walking around the studio. Yeah.
Where are you going, Mr. Pear? He's going to be a superstar.
Yeah. I just love the idea of us just doing the entire weekend preview and Mr.
Pear is like, oh, he just made his second pick after 45 minutes. That's what we should do, too, with Mr.
Pear. We shouldn't be, Mr.
Pears has to do five picks. Mr.
Pears should just get to do as many picks as he can do. You know what I mean? Let's not put so much pressure on Mr.
Pears. Maybe he just likes one game.
Yeah. We'll just give him the option.
Yeah. Mr.
Pears game of the week. Yeah.
Mr. Pears.
And what are we going to put? We're going to put pears out for him to eat or remotes?

I think pears.

Okay.

Maybe one pear, one in a row.

Mr. Pear, Mr.
Pear.

No chewing gum?

Mr. Pear.

No.

I can't wait for Mr. Pear.

All right.

Let's do some picks for Final Four.

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Get grocery, alcohol, and everyday essentials in addition to the restaurant food you love. So in other get almost almost anything with uber eats order now for alcohol you must be legal drinking age please enjoy responsibly product availability varies by region see app for details what are we guys feeling what are we guys feeling i love i love yukon i already i there there will be no bet on that game for me because I have UConn so much.
I want to elect to abstain from betting on Purdue-NC State. I'll put it that way.
The DJ Burns shirts we just put on sale are so far that I have to bet NC State money line. I have no choice.
You know what? And rooting for Purdue is just it's so fun to root against them i just have to do it so the reason why i wanted to abstain look at these i'm so convinced that zach edie is just going to have his way with nc state but i'm also very stupid so since i'm so sure that purdue is going to dominate i should just bet on nc state yeah i just don't know how you can't like if you're impartial if you don't have a team or bet on these this final four the answer has to be nc state like you have to and i they're perfect because the 83 title run is so similar to this run where you're like maybe it just is destined yeah maybe this is just this is just what's going to happen, and they're going to shock the world, and this is going to be the craziest three-week, four-week run in history. That's what I said before the Duke game.
I was like, are you a little worried if NC State wins that they're destined? No, UConn would smash them. But.
Smash them. They can beat Purdue.
I am a little worried about Alabama, though, because Alabama could just go nuclear from three. You want to know what I'm betting that game? What? Alabama.
Batman Moneyline. Oh, of course he is.
No, I'm not. UConn to win by one to two.
Oh. Oh, exactly.
Just for chaos. That would – we're going.
We're going to be with Dave and Big Cat, who have huge, huge futures bets on UConn. Rico, diehard Alabama fan.
That would be the best content if it ended up with that scenario. Yeah.
Because if it's a blowout, it would lose its luster. But if it's close to the end, it would be quite a scene.
I am enjoying watching Alabama fans game plan for this game. And I saw one guy was like, we got to just force the ball to Klingen and Caravan and let Caravan shoot threes.
Caravan's shooting 40% from three. Yeah, force the ball to two great players.
Yeah, they have just great players everywhere, and I don't really know what the answer is to UConn other than their sleeping schedule is fucked up. The strategy in this game for Alabama is just be Alabama and then hope you have the have the best alabama night that you can because if they do play their best basketball they definitely can win this game shoot 60 from three yeah like that's the thing is i'm not i don't give i'm not saying that alabama has zero chance they definitely have a chance because of the style they play if they hit all their threes anyone could lose to them on any night but uh yukon is just a kind of a there's levels and they're just at a different level right now if they come out and play like uconn would have to play what a c-minus game to give alabama a chance like if i think about if uconn plays a b game they beat everyone yeah i i'm gonna take connecticut minus 11 and a half and then i'm gonna take nc Moneyline.
And we'll let the chips fall where they may.

I want to just shout out the women's game, too, real quick.

I kind of like UConn on Sunday.

Okay.

I scouted that UConn-USC game.

They had a very good plan for Juju Watkins.

I think they'll have a very good plan for Kaitlin Clark. Let everyone else beat them except Kaitlin Clark.

So, yeah, I think that's what my plan is for Sunday.

I think that the powers that be— Or, no, Friday. That's Friday.
i think that's what my plan is for sunday i think that

that the powers that be or no friday that's friday sorry that's friday sunday is the championship i think the powers that be really want caitlin clark south carolina championship yeah they really want that star player against a perfect team that would what ratings higher or lower than what than lsu iowa-Iowa. Lower.
In that championship game? Yeah. You think so? Yeah.
I just think LSU-Iowa is going to always have the highest ratings of the tournament just because of last year. It was the highest-rated women's college basketball game ever.
I think highest-rated women's game ever. Yeah.
Sunday is ABC. Yeah, that's true.
I think it would be higher. Sunday afternoon.
I think Clark against undefeated USC would be higher. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, second or not. Yeah.
Yep. And they got, what, 12 point what? 4 million? 12.4 million? Something like that, yeah.
Yeah. And Rasilo only watched a half.
The funniest was when everybody was talking about the LSU-Iowa game, and then Rosillo tweeted something out about some NBA player not getting rebounds. He gets people so angry.
I like it because it breaks up the timeline a little bit. Yeah, and he does that every now and then where there'll be a big football game, and he'll just randomly tweet, like, yeah, Blue Jays, like, Manoa shouldn't have left that one hanging.

Nah, people should be able to tweet about what they want to tweet about.

I was tweeting about the Phillies during that game.

No, we're defending Rusillo.

Every single comment was like, read the room.

Everyone's talking about college.

Agreed.

We're defending Rusillo.

He just makes everyone so mad.

I know.

Like, he makes people so mad.

It's like, like what you like.

Who cares?

But he only watched half. Yeah.
Who scored 50 points in the nba yesterday was it malachi yeah malachi flynn malachi flynn scored that might be the the moment where we all realize like scoring is is out of control in the nba right scoring is pretty crazy it is congrats hank you're you feel you were saying before that there's a 0% chance you don't make it to the finals. I don't know that I said 0% chance, but it would be heartbreaking if they don't.
Big Cat put a future on the Nuggets, and I was like, that's a little of fun. Well, no.
You're like, well, it's different. Hold on.
I put a future on Scotty Scheffler and the Nuggets, so it might not even be a thing. Yeah.
I put a future on Brooks and the Celtics, but that's just me. Well, I also put a future on Brooks, but it was a Scotty Scheffler and Nuggets.
I put a future on Brooks and the Celtics, but that's just me.

Well, I also put a future on Brooks, but it was a Scotty, Scheffler, and Nuggets.

You left that part out.

You left that part out.

So he's not even going to be rooting for the Nuggets unless Scotty wins.

Correct.

And I don't want Scotty to win.

I want someone else to win, but I think Scotty's playing so well that he's going to win, but

I don't want him to win.

Does that make sense?

Yeah, but you could have just done Scottie and the Celtics.

Why?

Everything you've done?

He doesn't think the Celtics could win.

And everything you've done?

No, I think they absolutely could win.

But you were like, you know what?

Everything you've done to me?

Let's get a reason to root against the Celtics.

Boom.

Got it.

Oh, my God.

I got UConn.

This is why.

Nuggets.

This is why I should have seen.

Juan Silva.

Formatted Hank.

MVP.

He's a fucking baby. So, fair warning, Hank.
But again, I am a longtime Nuggets This is why I should have seen Juan Silva Formatted Hank MVP So I

Fair warning Hank

But again I am a long time

Nuggets podcast

He is

That's fine

He's a Nugs guy

Been through it before

I'll go through it again

What are you going to say Max

I'll be rooting against the Celtics

For sure

I won't feel bad about it

And I want your pain

Like bad

That's fine

You can taste it on your lips

Yeah

So I'm not going to be pretending

You're not fake

You're not fake

You're a real one

I'm sorry. it and I want your pain like bad.
That's fine. You taste it on your lips? Yeah.

I'm not going to be pretending.

You're not fake. You're a real one.

I mean this is setting up for Hank to defeat Max.

Wait how am I fake for not betting on your team?

No you just

like to be like oh it's a coincidence I bet on the

Nuggets. No I think they're going to win the

why would I bet on something I don't think is going to happen?

How do you solve the Jokic riddle? I think that're going to win the... Why would I bet on something I don't think is going to happen? How do you solve the Jokic riddle?

Yeah, I think that's going

to happen, so that's what I bet.

That's fine. I'm looking forward

to it.

I don't know how that's...

That's what I think is going to happen. You do that all the time.

I also don't think you're looking forward to it.

I think you're scared of the Nuggets.

No, the Nuggets are good. The Nuggets will be

a worthy test if the Celtics

can make it that far, and the Nuggets do as well.

But I'm super excited Thank you. I think you're scared of the Nuggets.
No, the Nuggets are good. The Nuggets will be a worthy test if the Celtics can make it that far,

and the Nuggets do as well.

But I'm super excited.

I think it was April 22nd, playoff start.

Can't wait.

Yeah.

Very excited.

Don't sleep on the Sixers, Sixers.

No, we're sleeping on the Sixers.

Don't sleep on the Heat.

I'm going to sleep on the Switch.

Maybe not.

Yeah, maybe not.

Also, be at the Sixers game next week.

Oh, yeah.

What are you doing?

We'll talk about that next week. Okay.
I was thinking about setting it up as my firefest but yeah next week alright well let's talk more NBA we got Alex Crusoe on the show in studio awesome interview it's brought to you by our friends at Coors Light oh do you have the chill calendar from day to day annoyances to the big stuff life throws your way it's easy's easy to get worked up, but there's a better way, a chiller way.

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Get Coors Light delivered straight to your door with the Instacart by going to CoorsLight.com slash take. Celebrate responsibly company golden colorado okay here he is alex caruso okay we now welcome on a very special guest long time coming it is the man the myth the legend alex caruso chicago bull uh should we do the hard part first yeah sure okay because i was gonna say nba champion but we don't uh think that oh you don't recognize it yeah we don't recognize it let's just do the hard part first let's just get out of the way bubble championship didn't count la bubble what how do you do what do you say to that um gotta still play the games gotta still show up and win the games so i mean uh-huh there's something to play for, you know, like the NCAA tournament.
Yeah. I mean, it happened.
I'll say this. It did happen.
So what's the argument for the – The argument is that LeBron won a championship, and so it doesn't count. Okay.
So actually, we're fine with letting you be NBA champion. My championship ballot.
Yeah, you're an NBA champion. That's cool.
Yeah, I'm fine with that. Congratulations.
Thank you. Yes.
He's got a couple that are real, so the fake one. Three.
Also, are you the first Italian-American all-defensive player in the NBA? Is that what we declared last year? I haven't really got this. Yeah.
Danilo never got one. I don't think the other white guy that was a guard that made all-defense was Italian, so I think that has to be.
It has to be you. so talking about the bubble championship because obviously we're joking but not really because we don't really count it for lebron um do you think back and you're like man i kind of wish that we had won that in like regular setting because it feels felt a little different i would say just for the just for like the like all the extra stuff that comes with it You know,.
Being able to celebrate with fans afterwards, being able to have a parade, having the energy of the final second countdown. Yeah.
It would have been different having 16,000 people in the arena, regardless of home or away, just to have that kind kind of atmosphere i mean it still is like incredible that you guys did it because it was very hard circumstances oh yeah three three and a half months basically a summer and then you come back and just start playing again yeah yes were you were you ever at any point being like i really just want to go home i'm sick of living in Yes, but no. You know, like it was kind of like I've seen like multiple takes, right? There's like both sides of the spectrum.
Some people are like, it's the hardest thing ever. And then some people are just like, yeah, like it was, you know, a hotel.
We stayed there. I don't have kids, you know, at the time I wasn't in a relationship.
So like for me, it was like college like college again. I was just going to practice.
I would go play golf. I'd go back, get some food, play Call of Duty, and then wake up and go play basketball the next day.
For me, it was like, this is not terrible. That's a pretty good life.
Yeah, I think some people would take playing Call of Duty golf and then go on a play in the NBA playoffs. I think some people would like that.

Yeah.

What was the vibe like in there?

Were you guys hanging out with other teams, or did you guys mostly just keep to yourselves?

No, yeah.

It was like clicks.

Everybody was with their own team.

Some people turned their meeting rooms into players' lounges, had ping pong tables and stuff.

But for the most part, we were a pretty close group all year.

We hung out 1 through 15 on the roster, so it was easy for us to hang out once we got there. Yeah.
Were you allowed to buy coffee from Jimmy Butler, or was that just for his teammates? I don't know. That's a good question.
I never tried. I'm a little bit of a coffee drinker now, but this has really come on in the last year, year and a half.
Yeah, good. Yeah, no.
I'm always like to just take a shower and go yeah kind of guy but recently coffee uh

i don't know i don't think he would have sold it to us you would have poisoned it probably yeah he would have done something to it he would have like put some eye drops the little yeah dumb and crashers yeah easier question do you think the sons would have let you hang out with them no probably not still yeah would you have wanted to hang out with the sons I'm going to say no to that as well

Smart answer

So yeah I'm pumped that you're here like i said it'd been a long time coming got a million questions but i i was just going back through like your career and it's incredible like seeing that you you know four years of college and then the g league and then getting to a point where you sign

a huge deal win a championship sign a huge deal become like a very impactful part of like an nba roster was there any part of like that journey where you're like fuck i was pretty close to like not making it to where i wanted to do because not a lot of guys do that journey you know what i mean a lot of guys are on that same path yeah i don't know if there was any point in time where I was like, oh, man, this might be it. But at the same time, that's kind of what kept me on my P's and Q's and on top of my game to make sure that when I got the opportunity, I took advantage of it.
Because I was like, all right, if I don't play good, I'm done. If I don't play good in the G League, I'm not going to be able to get to an NBA team.
If I don't play in the g league i'm not gonna be able to

get to an nba team if i don't play good in college i'm not gonna be able to you know go to the g league so or professional um so it was always kind of like i was i was almost like a like a racehorse like i had blinders on but at the same time like i understood you know what what the stakes were yeah i was playing yeah and is it like that still now where it's like you you have in the back of your mind if i don't work hard enough this all could be over yeah i mean that's that's that's probably the cool thing about it is like at first it was like all right i gotta work hard and i gotta play my ass off so i can get into the league or get into the spot to get into the league and then you know like you said like now i've kind of established myself and it's to the point to where like I'm a coveted asset and it's it's now the point to where it's like all right that's the standard I have for myself like I can't drop below that you know and water down you know everything that I've worked for or you know throw away the the work that I've put in I just I just really enjoy being competitive with myself, and that's kind of the best part about it. I'm just constantly chasing.
What was the moment where you're like, oh, shit, I am a coveted aspect? Because it's crazy. Not only did you obviously sign a great contract, but when you left the Lakers, I feel like Lakers fans were so upset.
Yeah, they still are. Yeah, they're like pissed.
They tweeted the other day i blew out a pair of shoes in a game against the timberwolves a couple days ago um even even just not even that tweet but like i'll tweet something and at least two to ten responses will always be like come back to la like can't wait to see you in a lakers uniform next year like they they're either just like drinking the kool-aid or they they just really are trying to convince me to come back every LA, like, can't wait to see you in a Lakers uniform next year. Like they, they're either just like drinking the Kool-Aid or they, they just really are trying to convince me to come back.
Every time I post something, they, they respond. That's got to feel good though, to be loved.
Yeah, no, that's cool. I mean, cause like, like you said, there's a time where, you know, people didn't know who I was at all.
And then, you know, we're to the point now where he's talked about being an asset. Um, probably just over the last couple of years, you know, once i signed the contract in chicago that was kind of like all right cool like this one team really believes in me and that was that was uh that was a big step for me just to be able to like like you said keep taking another step keep chasing something uh and then the last couple years you know every year at the trade deadline there's rumors of you know yeah one to two to ten teams that are interested in me so i know that there's some type of yeah and i know there's some type of um like you said want for me to to to be on their team and i think that i mean that's that's the goal you know that's that's leverage that's power in the league is is you know being able to say that multiple teams want you on their team yeah it, it's a double-sided coin because you're wanted, but then also every time there's a trade deadline, you're like, am I going to have to move again? Yeah, well, knock on wood.
I've never been involved in a trade, really been a part of one. We didn't have one, I don't think, in L.A., maybe besides picking up some free agents.
I haven't had one really in Chicago. So I don't know about the whole moving thing.
But there is, you know, this year we were at home, I think last – or no, no, this year we were in Memphis. I was on the road the last two trade deadlines.
And it's like I'm getting ready. Like we have a game both days.
I'm like getting ready to lay down for my nap at like 1230 or 1. And it's like deadlines at 3.
and I'm just, all right, text my agent. I'm like, hey, I'm just going to leave my phone on loud.
If you need me, just call me. Yeah.
But I'm going to go take a nap. I got to take a nap so I can get ready for the game tonight.
But it is nice to be wanted. How does that work for most players when they get traded? I know you haven't been traded, but from what you know, do you get a call from your agent first, or do you have Woj notifications on? I don't have notifications, but I do follow Woj.
Are you Shams or Woj guy? I think I'm Woj, but I don't think I have a side. I think it's just that Woj was the first one I knew about.
Right. So I think that's where the loyalty kind of lies.
Yeah. But, I mean, it's a time game.
Like, Shams eventually. Yeah.
Just the years is going to have to take over. Yeah, I just wonder if most players find out the right way or if they find out the right way.
Yeah, I don't think most do. I would be willing to bet that most find out, you know, through their agent or through, you know, you've heard social media, like, nightmares where, like, they see someone tweet that they've gotten traded or like something crazy like that i don't think most of the time yeah i i just you don't hear about it so maybe maybe that's the thing it's like when it happens right people just don't talk about it yeah but like you always hear about the ones where it's like the agent calls he's like hey they just traded you or like dude finds out on twitter or one of their family members text them and that's probably not a good feeling and I also I at least from my perspective I always like obviously being on an NBA team so different than everyone else's work like day to day where you can't just walk up to AK and be like hey you thinking about trading me yeah I would assume right I don't think that dynamic yeah yeah right like he's not someone you could just be like hey can i just get a few minutes with you just wondering what your plan is hey when you have a few can i put you on my calendar real quick no i don't think yeah that's probably not the way at least not that i've seen to go about it yeah that's i mean that comes with the territory you know we make a lot of money to play a children's game you know at the end of the day it is what it is yeah do you remember the moment when you knew that lebron trusted you oh good question thank you thank you um now you say thank you to me i know i was repeating after you because yeah good question it was a great question uh i i would say honestly it's probably earlier than than maybe even he realized or or people realize it was when I was on two-way my last year in L.A., his first year, and it was the year before the AD trade, so I was playing with him and a couple of other two-ways and guys middle end of the bench because I don't think we were making the playoffs, and it was before playing.
And we're playing at Toronto and I'm running a pick and roll with him on the side. And this is when I figured out that, oh, when I'm playing with him, people are just going to pay attention to him and I can just go shoot layups.
Yeah. And I just go straight downhill and shoot the layup and one.
Nice, and one. Yeah, and one.
And he comes over to me and he's like talking very intently and directly and it was the first time like within a game where i like it was just like oh we're on the same team playing basketball it's not like oh that's lebron i'm alex and we're just happen to be here it was like he's talking to me like teammate like hey we gotta figure this out to try and win this game right yeah yeah like peers and so that was that was probably the first time looking back on it where I was just like, okay, this guy is competitive. That's what I do.
This is going to be a good thing. That's got to be a good feeling.
Did that unlock something in you where you're like, oh, shit, LeBron believes me? Maybe I believe in me too. Yeah, I think it freed me up just to know that the stuff that I see on the court, he's also seeing, obviously, and then another level to that.
But my instincts kicked in. I was able to just kind of play free and play off my instincts, and then from there learn what to do, what not to do, what I can get away with, how I can be useful when playing with him.
And from there, I'm a learner. So the more opportunity, the more reps I get, I use that, store it up here, and then just take it to the next game.
Yeah. Has Austin Reeves ever hit you up being like, how do I get LeBron to like me? No, he hasn't.
We talked once. He wants to try and play golf, and I'd love to play golf with him.
I heard he's pretty good. Yeah.
No, he has not hit me up for LeBron relationship advice. Yeah.
I mean, it is crazy to think about that team, too. I mean, I would assume Anthony Davis is one of those guys who I feel like gets forgotten at times of how dominant he is.
When you would even practice with him, were you like, fuck, this is when he controls the defense. Yeah, I mean, the year we won the championship, we literally just like, if he switched on to to somebody you just face guarded your guy and get ready to box out because like we're not helping him right don't need to help him like if you try to take it to the rim he's gonna block it yeah or he's you're gonna throw it so far up like you know you're gonna clank it off trying to trying to get around him and then i mean he's 6 10 6 11 7 something wingspan like he's guarding guys with lengths moving his feet on the perimeter like literally when when people switched on to him late in the clock we just all right find your guy like we're gonna get the ball back here yeah um and then for me you know i just pressure the hell out of everybody send them into the rim when you got dwight javel and then you got anthony davis you know two of the three of them are always on the court together.

Yeah, just feed him that way.

Pretty easy for me, yeah. It's like, yeah, he was a monster.

He should have won DPOY that year.

I think they gave it to Giannis, and he gave him MVP too.

But, like, literally that was our defense.

Yeah.

We'd just be super aggressive, and then when AD got on somebody,

it's like just let him guard him.

Yeah, when he's on, it's just the whole defense just looks unstoppable. Yeah, I mean, literally what I told you, when he's on, you don't have to play defense anymore because he's just going to do it.
Who have you pissed off the most by being in their face defensively? Because you are a bulldog. Yeah, no, I have to be.
Yeah, I yeah i mean you're all up in everyone's face i think that's the fun thing for me too is like people always get pissed off and like they think that i'm fouling and like everyone you know everyone's best two players in the league thinks that everyone fouls right yeah that's just how it goes but it's just funny to me because i just have like no emotion attached to it and they're just you know if they get mad it's it's almost amusing for me because i'm like you know contact sport what do you want me to do yeah we're playing a sport and i'll let you score yeah um i don't know if any one person comes to mind is it like though is it in the calendar year can you tell like i've always thought like you know february's that time when it kind of you have a lull and guys are maybe looking for the all-star break there'll be games in february where somebody like dude can you stop can you stop doing this not not directly dude i don't know i mean i can tell though you know like like when i'm picking them up and they don't usually complain to me they'll complain to the refs yeah you know like i'll i'll be super physical getting over a screen and then like i'm just trying super hard like getting deflection and like obviously yeah i'm trying to be all defense again and i'm trying to make sure that i'm like creating more value for myself in the league i'm not going to just keep letting you score right you do things um and then they start like you know they get mad they get pissed off and start yelling at the ref or like that that's when that's when you know you got them that's gonna feel like the best feeling yeah yeah that's the best yeah then you can kind of like you can kind of troll them in the moment too you know like you do the indirect like really aggressive clap or like you know yell at the crowd right with them next to you that's when you can kind of like get under their skin top the floor a little bit yeah you ever stop the floor no no yeah you can't stop the floor not without being like not without being a troll in practice or something. I don't think in a game.
I hate that. Yeah.
That's the Duke thing, right? Yeah, the five in unison. Yeah, you can't do that.
You can't do that. Speaking of college, though, you had a great career at Texas A&M.
You went to Sweet 16 your senior year. Do you still watch college ball like in college ball like in our fan I watch A&M yeah yeah no I can't watch I can't watch too much college basketball why it's just it's it's slow yeah you know it's a little too methodical and it's just I mean once you played like night in night out I'm playing against the best players in the world like the talent level there is just so different.
The skill level in college varies. Yeah, it's nice.
The good teams have a couple players that are really elite that are going to be pros, but at the same time, it's hard to watch. But yeah, I'm still Maroon Kool-Aid A&M through and through.
We're big Buzz guys. Yeah, we love Buzz.
Buzz is a good guy. Buzz is our guy.
So are there times when you're watching a college game and you're just frustrated being like all these wide open shots are not going in because that is when you watch the shots, like, cause you know, like NBA guys, like you'll miss some open shots every now and then. Like that's rarely.
Yeah. I mean, it is, it is more rare, but it's, it's more just like the basic understanding of basketball.
Yeah. You know, like understanding how to play, being able to make certain passes that should just be like elementary, that they like mess up, missing layups and stuff.
Like that's the stuff that like open layups, like wide open ones. Yeah.
That's the stuff where it's just like. How awesome was it though to play in the tournament, get to the Sweet 16? Because, I mean, I love the tournament.
It was sweet. Well, you remember our game against Northern Iowa, the comeback, right? Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, I get reminded of that by people just as much as winning the championship in L.A.
Like, random people would stop me and be like, oh, dude, I loved you, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then, like, you had that game in college.
We had the comeback. And I'm like, yep, we did.
It was crazy.

And then we went to Sweet 16 and got smacked by Oklahoma,

but that comeback was awesome.

Yeah, but it was also – that was the Buddy Heald year, right?

Yeah, they were a good team.

So that was good that you got smacked.

So you got smacked even more because Villanova beat Oklahoma by like 1,000.

Yeah, that was a weird year in college basketball too

because there was like – it was just so up and down. Like we got up to number five in the country at one point that year, and then we lost like four in a row.
Yeah. And we beat every Big 12 team we played, like four or five Big 12 teams, but went like a couple games over 500 against everybody else.
And that might have been the year before. So Texas A&M, you're from right around there.
Yeah. Are you from College Station? Yeah, I grew up there.
So you've never had a chance to be outside the cult. No, I mean, I've seen other stuff.
Yeah, but do you understand how weird it is? Yeah, no, I do. I get it.
I get it. I think once I left College Station and I was like, because obviously i'm still like that's the only team i really root for like i really have a professional sports team that i love outside of uh premier league soccer oh who's your team manchester city oh your front runner front runner yeah big front been a fan for 12 years oh what when they you know won 12 years ago and then won again you're a championship merchant yeah that's fine we can go with that and once i left and went to la i was like oh okay i get it like everyone is really aggressively pro a&m or pro or anti-a&m yeah all right that's fine like we can go with that like i i will i will admit to being able to recognize that it doesn't lower my level of fandom and love or appreciation.
But since you're from College Station, you never thought that it was weird, the whole yell eater thing. That was always normal to you.
Yeah, I still don't think it's weird, but it's definitely. The midnight yell? This is a cult.
The midnight yell is not weird. What about when they grab each other by the cock and they like.
No, it's not the cock it's it's the waist or the it's the shoulder i went to the store and old bed said no the i mean the the midnight yell is just a pep rally that's yeah i guess in the same way that jonestown was a pep yeah there's there's no drinks being passed around yeah it's strange are you are you allowed in college station yeah okay uh there you go come on here we go i mean you are i really okay so on the drive over here i was thinking that somebody was going to show up with the t-shirt of my picture on it yeah in the back of my mind i was like they won't do that like but no i did it was cool it made you cool it's literally like the best it was 90 positive p yeah yeah here's the best crime to get busted for you're the last person in america i think to get arrested for weed yeah at least in texas yeah yeah it was just a grinder right i am a trendsetter you know i pioneer yeah i'm saving so many 18 to 21 yeah 22 year olds from getting arrested that's facts was it it was just a grinder right yeah that's crazy yeah that's like because i remember when it happened i was like wait what that's what it yeah dude when it was happening too i was just like more annoyed than anything because i'm like this is well one i had to make sure because it was right before i was free agent i was like i hope this doesn't mess up you know anything with me signing a contract didn't no of course not nobody in the league cared right which know why yeah yeah um and then while it was happening it was just since since the airport is on technically it's on texas campus it was campus police that came out they didn't give you what you did you not it was too young like up and comers they were trying yeah dude remember northern iowa fresh stashes you know they there's one of those they just wanted their big boss ever northern iowa yeah 12 12 points in 44 seconds anything to you yeah that would have rocked they might have let you go yeah that actually would have been like they would be like we're football fans the only time a dito who i am would work is like you think so 44 seconds you think yeah it was it was kind of because at the time, me and Big Cat's reaction was the same, which was like, why? Why are they getting in trouble? Yeah. We were free Alex Caruso.
And then there was a, it just always makes me think back to the Laramie Tunsil draft in the NFL. Oh, yeah.
Where like four teams, five teams passed on the guy. That was the night of the draft, huh? It was like minutes before the draft started.
Yeah. And teams panicked.
And they're like, this guy smokes weed. He can't play in the nfl what year was that that was like 20 2016 16 yeah yeah that might have been like the second month of part of my take yeah the gas mask that was crazy um so alex i actually i own a piece of alex caruso history i'm not sure if you're familiar with this i don't know if i am um he has the grinder you remember i would buy the revel probably does that would be revel probably but you think so yeah i own uh i own an nba top shot oh yeah i remember that the only one that i bought was your chase down block against james harden yeah i've seen there's quite a few of those aren't there uh i don't know how many there are uh no they're very rare okay yeah yeah yeah no yeah super rare know, it would be even rarer if you were to autograph my NBA top shot for me, and then I could try to sell that.
Can you do that? I'll print out like a still frame. Okay.
I'll have you sign it. Okay, yeah, yeah.
But do you remember that block? I do. I do.
I turned it over right before that. Oh, so you were making up for your mistake.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh.
Classic Alex Caruso move. It was a great block.
It was. It was.
It was. Yeah, so I it right now and there's it's it's in the bubble and you can see the the videos of the fans in the stands behind you okay how weird was that yeah that was it was it was weird until the game started once the game started you didn't really notice it it was almost just like you know how there's like the ribbon board and the nba nba arenas yeah it's just kind of like there.
But pregame and warm-ups, you're looking and there's people's faces and these fish bowls just staring at you. It wasn't normal.
It wasn't normal, but once the game started, I think it was pretty normal. Yeah, yeah.
I'm pretty sure Lil Wayne was in one of them for somebody too. Yeah, I think I was in one for the heat.
I think I chged a beer hell yeah might have been in the eastern conference in my phone and they're like don't let this guy back on don't let him in the zoom again caruso is being brought to you by our great friends over at top golf it's golf it's not golf it's top golf if you've never heard of them they have all the stuff to make them legit golf they've got balls clubs turf even a ball picker a ball picker upper cart thing, but they're very much not golf too. We're talking loud music, giant targets, climate controlled bays, and unbeatable food and drinks day or night.
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or try crisp and fresh Irish Apple. Smooth to the core and now here's more alex caruso i was i was reading the other day that you're a big fan of sandstorm by darude no so i don't know why they picked that song because i am first of all great song you know classic but that wasn't the song the dj was playing in warm-ups before that game because that's the whole the whole tweet was before the minnesota yeah and i had a really good shooting i had new career high seven made threes and i was like in the interview afterwards with casey johnson one of our reporters i was just like yeah i was like vibes were great pre-game like i was i was coming out i was bobbing my, music was phenomenal.
I was making everything in warm-ups.

So I was like, all right, probably going to be a good night. Sure enough.
And then the guy tweeted and was like, make sure it's Sandstorm. I was just like, okay.
You gave all the credit to Sandstorm. Yeah.
Yeah, and then Sandstorm didn't deserve it. But, you know, shout out to the OG Sandstorms.
How many points do you think you could score in a game? Because you did the seven threes. I don't know if you saw on January 22nd when Embiid went for 70 and Cat had 53.
I did note. I was like, Embiid just went for 70.
Cat has 53 and Caruso has nine in the first quarter. I'm pretty sure I saw that.
It's like everyone's going off right now. It's one of those days.
It could be one of those nights um i think 40 and you i think 40 is is is is a is a number it would have to be like it would have to be the right circumstance like i'm only getting that many attempts up if there's like a couple people out or it's like end of the year some some type of situation i think that's my my career high now i was like 32 and it was when i was on two-way, and it was like one of those things where it's like, all right, playing the game from my career here. Right.
And I think I made five threes in that game and then had a bunch of layups. But it was me and a bunch of two-way guys and then KCP and Rondo.
So who else is going to take the shots? Yeah. I can't wait for the 40.
Alex Russo, 49. I'll make sure.
Whenever I ball i'll give you the shout out for it oh yeah that would rock just be like thank shout out part of my take inspiration behind all of it you could do it yeah just have you ever gotten the green light for an entire game i mean i kind of do but like i'm trying to win too so like i don't need to be out there just jacking up oh come on no give give caruso the green light i don't see that's the thing i don't think i have a like a red light like i don't have like when i'm open i'm allowed to shoot like i'm allowed to be aggressive it's not like a yield sign yeah billy d ever say like i want you to shoot more it's like a lime green yeah does he ever say like hey you're hot shoot more uh no but like usually when i'm hot like i'm gonna shoot it anyway like the other night like i was you know i made seven of eight so like any chance i got yeah that's what i, but like usually when I'm hot, like I'm going to shoot it anyway. Like the other night, like I was, you know, I made seven of eight.
So like any chance I got, that's what I did. But like, you know, we got Kobe, we got DeMar, Vooch.
Like I'm not going to just run the offense through me if I'm going one night. What's Billy D like as a head coach? Billy D's got, uh, you know, y'all say y'all like buzz.
He's, he's got a little bit of buzz charisma buzz charisma into him you know with the leadership and like making sure that you know the team's kind of focused on and big storyteller guy big big big metaphor analogy guy so that that's always fine because they'll come out of left field with some of these things but then you know somehow it always correlates back to basketball um i like playing for billy he's competitive uh you know he's got some of that you know he played in providence back in the day i don't know if they were big east or what they were but he's got some of that yeah i think he played for patino yeah he's one of patino's favorite players he said he stunk that makes sense i think patino said he was fat when he came into college and then he played his way and became great at the end of it i don't know the only picture i've seen he looks pretty skinny yeah yeah same height what's a good billy d metaphor billy d metaphor dude he just he he'll come up with stories and like he knows at this point that like you know whenever he tells a story we like you don't eye roll but it's just like oh okay here we go another story so like he'll start it off and be like vuj i know you love stories here's another story it'll like go into it before and it'll just you know whatever we need during the season whether it's like you know refocus on you know we talked about that that using the old pictures from high school like yeah finding the love for the game and stop like get out of your own head and thinking about circumstances presently you know when you had hair yeah being being being more involved in your love for the game rather than focusing yourself kind of thing i have a hair question but i want to go a question off of billy when you had hair. Yeah, being more involved in your love for the game rather than focusing yourself kind of thing.
I have a hair question, but I want to go a question off of Billy Dee. When you got to the Bulls, he obviously was hired as well.
Were there any stories about Jim Boylan and what happened before you got there? So I don't know him personally. Yeah.
A little disclaimer. Yeah.
Because that's got to be, I mean, Billy Donovan's a very good coach. That guy was a unique character, I heard.
I heard he was a unique character. Yeah.
He basically was like a Pop Warner coach coaching NBA basketball. I love that.
Yeah. But he's, I mean, credit to him, he keeps finding jobs.
Yeah, I know. He's a basketball lifer.
He coached USA basketball yeah he's a world cup qualifiers uh he was head coach there i think he's in indian i think he's in indiana right now with the pacers yeah so like uh maybe he's just a wizard in these meetings with the office guys or he's just like he or he's got blackmail on everybody yeah i don't know he's he's uh he it was a ride it was a ride when he was here in chicago it was something yeah something special sound bites i heard it was unique very unique i heard it was unique but uh all right so the hair question when did you know that you were going bald because i feel like you did a really good job like we never really got full bald like you you got yeah you need to switch fast enough that no one really caught on well it was uh was right after the championship. It was right after we won the chip, and then I did a deal with Manscaped.
I signed like a 100K deal with them to like promote their stuff, and this was like when they were first coming on, and I ended up shooting a commercial with them, and it was on TNT or something, and it was like this cheesy little like me flying through the air kind of like their whole you know their whole mantra is like kind of like goofy and sarcastic um and they were like yeah we'll give you a bunch of money and do this commercial and like shave your head i was like all right sure like i'm gonna have to do this anyway like yeah i might as well you know get some get some fun money actually you did you did have some bad hair i was gonna say i remember there was forgot there was a second where it was dodgy yeah i i was i was so locked in on basketball that like i just didn't care and like i think it was bad like i would see some of the photos after like games and i'd be like ah yeah the headband was smart because you also rock the headband that's like did he have a traumatic brain injury or is he wearing a head it was a thick yeah well dude i have a i have a small head in general so like like hats beanies like i don't i can't wear like flat bill hats like i'm i'm a big snapback yeah baseball cap like i have to like find certain ones that i can fit so like the headbands are they're crucial yeah it was it was important would you would you always like make sure to adjust it after a play if you got hit, like real quick, pull it down to the right spot? Yeah, I could feel it. But even then, sometimes I've seen highlights of me where it's kind of zigzagged and sometimes I just lose control of it.
Yeah, it's smart by Manscaped, though. It was like if we're going to ask somebody to shave their head, let's ask somebody who's probably going to shave their head soon.
Yeah, it was very responsible. Yeah.
Have you thought about going mustache only? I do every now and then in the summer. Like I did for 4th of July last year just for fun.
Yeah, I can show you. Yeah, I want to see that.
Also, you would drop 40 with a mustache. Easy.
That's a 40 stash. Easy.
Yeah, I think that's probably the key to it it maybe that's a signal for us is the night that you're going to go off just roll out there with a mustache as a signal that's that now you're trying to get me in the green light you're trying to get me in the jante border mess we're not just stay away from that did you i'll find it remember the time you got drug tested because you did a photoshop picture with muscles yeah no i didn't do a photoshop you just posted a photoshop somebody somebody posted it to me yeah i was just getting back into la and we're and i was working out and this was like this was uh this might have been before after my two-way year going into the year that we won the chip the 2020 season 1920 season i was just working out like that's what the young guys do like you come back a couple weeks before in september and start working out get in front of like everybody again and you know our the pr people just taking pictures coming back and this was like still after like you know the hype was still building and somebody just photo excuse me they photoshopped it made me look like miles garrett and then all of a sudden like within a week i got a drug test and i was just like well welcome to the welcome to the big leagues oh that's so good yeah it's pretty good so we had this debate uh last week on the show um we're talking about college versus the nba the shot making at the nba is much better. Players are so much better at that level.

How many players do you think right now could go from the NBA if you were to take one guy,

put them on the worst roster in college basketball

that's in the tournament?

So like one of the 16 seeds.

How many players are there in the NBA

where they could take that roster

and then win a championship with it?

Win the tournament?

Yeah, just put them on a team.

Like put them on one of the worst teams. Oh, dude.
Like, I was saying that it would be more than we think. Yeah, more than you think for sure.
Yeah. Like, if you put...
What's the number y'all said? I think you said a few. I said, like, 15.
I thought about it. I think my number's probably around 10.
Oh, I was going to go triple that, maybe 40. Yeah.
I mean, anybody that's like... Dude, I mean, guys in the NBA are so good, man.
Yeah. You got to automatically think bigs have an advantage because it's college, so the big is back, right? Yeah.
So that brings in a whole other couple group of people i i think probably 30 to 40 i'd say 30 30 safe because you never know the last 10 they might not have yeah i was thinking like duane wade when he was on marquette they were a decent team but then they also had duane wade but they didn't even win the championship i'm comparing this right now to like every every player that i'm putting on the worst team I'm making them play UConn in my head right now. Yeah.
Like Giannis playing on a 16 seed, I think they would probably win. You wouldn't even have to dribble.
He's so strong. It doesn't matter.
He would foul out the whole team. Yeah.
Yeah. He's dunking on grown men yeah it wouldn't be fair yeah um the the the best way i think we'll go with this 27 27 that's a good answer make a whole list it makes it sound like you really thought about i did yeah the best way to like describe the difference i think winhorse said it a few years ago where he was like the worst shooter on the nba team would be the best shooter on a college team and like that's even including big men yeah like they would be better than like the three-point sniper on a call i mean yeah i mean that's i i've seen javel mcgee and dwight howard go shot for shot from the three-point line at five spots that's crazy like you know like first one to miss and they both make like four or five in a row yeah and y'all would never trust them to shoot like outside in the game.
You'd be like, no, no, no, don't do that. Like, set the screen, roll, we'll throw you the lob.
But I've seen, yeah, like I've seen a number of big men that just, they can shoot in practice, but. Yeah, they're not asked to do it in a game.
Yeah, it's just, it's different. How awesome of a teammate was JaVale? JaVale's a great teammate, man.
He's one of the guys I love seeing now because he's just so, he's so, he's so chill. Like, it doesn't, like, make any sense that, you know, when he first came in the league, he was on Shaq and a Fool, you know, every other week.
Yeah. And now he's playing, like, 17 years in the NBA.
I know. Like, that's one of the things.
Incredible career. He should get a lot of respect and admiration for that because, like, he figured it out it out yeah he figured it out how to be a pro fun fact javel was the one that convinced me to wear uh the headband oh really yep so he was the head man he started doing the yeah yeah he was he was he was an inspiration he was a nice friend yeah who was like hey man yeah he's a thing i used to love about javel was he would go out out there.
He was a great player by the time he was done with his career. But he would still have, like, once a week he'd have a throwback JaVale moment where he'd do something like put up a shot.
Yeah, I think he was just testing it out, like, see if he still got it. Yeah.
He's like, see if I can still do this. Speaking of the NBA to college, can you tell a story about how you ruined the basketball hopes of a tiktoker because i i read that story oh i saw that yeah i saw that he was it was high school yeah um we talked about this the other day in the locker room randomly um because we were talking about like you know every now and then guys will like no matter who it is at any level they'll be like oh yeah i played against that school or I played against that guy in college.
And, like, we don't remember because we played against thousands of people.

Right.

I had a couple people send me that TikTok where this guy was, like,

basically talking about, like, yeah, I thought I was good.

Like, I thought our team was good.

Coach comes in and he tells him, like, hey,

there's one guy on the other team you got to worry about.

Like, make sure that we're locked in and focus on him.

And, like, we had some decent athletes, you know, in Texas,a 5a school so like big school 3 000 students um a couple football players uh like you know first off the bus kind of guys and then like i come in and the coach points at me he's like that's the guy you worry about and this is when we talked about like i had the floppy hair like i had bangs yeah and he tells a story he's like yeah i'm just like stealing the ball dunking like doing a windmill warm-up so i was like yeah that was me in high school like i was i was different in high school i was dunking on people and basically just playing like you know how college players do at the rec and yeah in the off season yeah i love it though this kid this kid told the whole story he's like yeah i thought i was nice and then yeah alice crusoe showed up and i was like. There are levels to this thing.
Yeah, that was – I remember the tournament too. I remember we played a – it was a preseason tournament down in Houston.
Our coach took us down there because he used to coach down in Houston a little bit. And we just went out there and we just like destroyed people.
We were just – we were a good team though my senior year. We lost like five or six games.
Does this still shock you every now and then? Because we were talking about this. I was talking about it with Titus.
For some reason, the NBA is the one sport where casual fans are like, oh, I could take him. Scalbrini used to do the Scal Challenge where he would just invite people one-on-one.
He would invite anyone who wanted. I've seen that video.
He takes somebody to 11, and he smokes them 11-0. Yeah, and it's like you don't understand how good we are to be in the nba do you ever have like people who talk shit you're like you just don't have any idea like yeah all the time every day you should do a caruso challenge yeah maybe it hosted here maybe we should dominate people if i played you first the 500 that's like people that's like people like random random average Joe on Twitter, and he's just like, whenever I'm playing bad or something, he's just like, this guy sucks.
And I'm like, he's like, I was scoring him any day. I'm like, dude, I was first team all defense.
That is incredibly hard to do. You understand the people that I have to guard every night and night, and you think that you can just walk in here and do this yeah i think we need to do a crusoe challenge that would be that would be a good one half court me versus you first to 500 would i score eventually yeah i think i would just like once i get up to 500 i just like i'll just catch my breath for five points and go score the other hundred in a row and i would clip that video and and that would be, yeah, that would be the online every day.
How often first to five, me five. Oh, how often do you get people being like, damn, you're a lot taller than I thought.
Yeah. Pretty often.
Cause that's, it's always so funny. Cause like even Steph, like, you know, he looks, people are like, Oh, he's so small.
It's like, he's six, three, six, four. Like that's a big human being.
And that's what I try to explain to people. It's like you don't understand the monsters that play in the NBA.

Yeah.

These dudes are genetic lottery winners.

Yeah.

And also athletic and coordinated.

You can pick anybody in the world that you find a couple guys that are 6'10",

that can't chew gum and ride a bike at the same time.

Yeah.

These dudes in here, they're monsters.

They fill up a room.

Yeah.

And they're smart, too.

They're so smart.

We're going to get started. that can't chew gum and ride a bike at the same time.
Yeah. These dudes in here, they're monsters.
They fill up a room. Yeah, and they're smart too.
They're so smart when it comes to basketball. They're coordinated.
Everything. They're strong.
I'm a big human being, just on that scale. Once I get to the NBA, I'm a little guy.
Yeah. I'm small.
Yeah, but even a dude like James Harden, he he's so smart when it comes to understanding the rules how to use them to his advantage and and take whatever the refs are going to give him yeah there's a bunch of people like that now yeah so how do you adjust your defense playing against guys like that i mean first you gotta learn what's a foul and what's not a foul based on how the league is going to officiate it like that's the key because like you can think you're playing really good defense, but what they could do in the 90s and the early 2000s, you'd foul out in 10 minutes trying to do that nowadays. So, I mean, a lot of it's just figuring it out and then just not getting upset when the refs call something that you think is bullshit.
That's the biggest thing. They're going to call some bad fouls.
It's a product, right want to score points we want to entertain people so like the offense is always going to have the advantage yeah so at that point it's just like all right don't don't get pissed when there's a bad one is it like night to night in terms of how you adjust how you play defense depending on the refs or is it month to month year to year because they do they do put points of emphasis on different things at different times yeah sometimes the points of emphasis last for a couple weeks sometimes they last a whole year that's neither here nor there yeah you know but no the the way that the game is called usually increases towards the end of the year you know like there's been there's been an uptick like statistically and like the amount of free throws shot before all-star break and after all-star break well i guess so down to like a regression less fouls are being called you know it's starting to get a little more playoff like yeah where like you know you don't get the little bump uh head fake throw it at the rim call anymore yeah and that's always an interesting dynamic to see how like the guys who do get those calls during the year have to adjust that's what we talked about earlier where like guys get pissed and they start yelling at the refs. It's like, no, I know that I can get away with this now or vice versa.
My favorite is whenever Jokic tries to act like he was going to shoot a three from the opposing line. He's going to get it sometimes.
He should. They should call it.
He's in the act of shooting. You know what's crazy about that is practically thinking, right? Why would that not be? If he's legitimately shooting the ball from there, it's like the people who talk about like if it's a foul in the first minute of the game, it should be a foul in the 47th minute of the game.
Yeah, yeah. Kind of true.
Yeah. Swallow your whistle.
If the dude's trying to shoot it, at what distance does it become not an attempted shot? Why can I not shoot it from here? Why is that? Before Steph, if somebody was trying to pull up five feet from half court, they'd be like, no, that wasn't going to go in. Yeah, they'd be like, no, you weren't really trying to shoot it.
You don't get to judge by intent. Just take the facts for what they are.
And Yoka should probably make that. I hope it happens in a playoff I hope it happens in a playoff game.
Like a contest. Nah, they won't do that.
That would be so awesome. But it would be great.
Preseason next year, get one. Yeah, that's what they should actually do is tell the refs, okay, we have to give him one so he stops trying it.
Yeah. And then give it to him.
No, see, the problem is you give him one, now they're going to do it. Oh.
Now everyone is easy to do it. They're going to draw a place? First time it happens, it'll happen three or four times the next night in the NBA.
Yeah. Somebody will try it.
Well, I think you can guard anyone, so I don't want to disrespect you in asking who's the hardest to guard, but who has the most in their bag? Who has the most moves where you're like, damn, they just do everything? This year, I mean, the two guys that are guards that are in the MVP conversations, Luka and Shea, Gildress Alexander. Yeah.
His career's over because of that commercial. Wait, what commercial? Him and Chet singing.
Dude, that was so tough. It's tough.
I saw it so many times watching the games too. They literally – they're a fun young team, and those guys are so good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they did that, and it's like, I don't like them.
RIP their career. Yeah.
That's sad to see for them. It's over.
It was so promising. Yeah.
So, Luka, for example, like, I mean, watching him play is crazy, but when you're playing against him, I would assume it's more of like, we know he's going to score. We know he's going to get his shots just trying to make him work as hard as possible for it yeah no that's i mean that's you could you could use that line and sentence for 30 people in the nba really yeah no there's nothing you can't stop i've said this before it's like dudes like the dudes in the league like the ones they're going to get their averages yeah too many possessions the game's too open like it's just there's 48 minutes they're going to play 40 of them they're going to get their numbers.
Yeah. Too many possessions.
The game's too open. Like, it's just, there's 48 minutes.
They're going to play 40 of them. They're going to get their numbers.
You got to make sure the other guys don't get above their averages. You got to make sure this guy doesn't, you know, he's averaging 29, 30, 31.
You got to make sure he doesn't get 40. Yeah.
Make sure he doesn't get 50. Do you keep it in your head when someone scores on you? Like, all right, that was two? No, no, I don't.
Okay. I got, I'm, I'm, I'm, I got amnesia when i play basketball that's smart you have to though like that's what we talked about these guys are incredible athletes shot makers scores like they're gonna make shots like i could play the best defense in the world like good offense beats good defense any day of the week yeah yokich hitting a one foot timeline shot last year in year in the playoffs over AD.
It's like, you couldn't have guarded any better. The dude threw in a prayer.
That's going to happen. At that point, it's just like, all right, cool, take it out.
Let's go the other way. Yeah.
How annoying was Pat Bev in practice? Pat Bev wasn't annoying in practice. He tells us that he's annoying in practice.
He ended Jeremy Lin's career. career he's a hard worker oh i didn't know that well no he just said that when he he was trying to get in the league he was like i started guarding him the minute he got off the bus like yeah no that's fair i mean that but that's you got to do that stay in the league like that's you know pat recognized the opportunity uh no he just he just pisses people off because he's just so extra sometimes.
Yeah.'s smart yeah gotta do is you keep your job bro like you know he's he was first team all defense for a handful of years yeah and now he understands the game now he knows how to think the game and that's just his stick now that's his mantra you had to have been when he was on the bulls last year and then now he's back off the bulls you're like fuck i really, I really liked when he was on my team and I didn't have to deal with him. Yeah, it was funny seeing it from the first person view every night and seeing how he would just fuck with people.
He's the best. Yeah.
Yeah, he's very good at getting inside your head and driving somebody off their game because now they're not thinking about the game. They're thinking about Pat Bev.
Yeah, he did that. He tried to do that to me a little bit.
I can't remember what was the game we played here yeah the late game yeah and he he was messing with a couple of our guys and he was like talking to our bench in front of our bench after like the thing with bobby and damar and so i was just like i was just like slowly escorting him like all right come on come on and he like slapped my hand down and like i knew he was just like you know he's doing what he does and so I just don't even give him a reaction. He's talking, and he just passed me the butt, pat him the butt, all right, come on.
That's it. You just got to ignore it.
We both know that we don't want to waste energy doing this. Just keep going.
Who on the bulls right now, young guys, because there are a lot of young guys, you can see they're going to gonna have a long awesome career honestly i think i mean obviously the two are two guards right now i own kobe yeah just because they like you can tell that they've they've as an nba player the thing i respect the most about other nba players is when you can tell that they got better because they worked hard yeah you know like like, like you can be good in the league, but if like if you leave one season, like the end of the season, I come back next season and my game is exactly the same and I haven't

changed anything, I wouldn't respect that as much as like I saw Kobe last year and I

saw him come back this year and like, oh, I could tell he's worked all summer and gotten

better.

Io, same thing. I could tell all summer he worked, got better, and then like through the year it shows.
Those are the things that like you can figure out who's going to be in the league for a long time based on who goes and gets better each summer. Yeah.
You know, because that's what happens. Like every year there's 60 new players picked in the draft.
Every year that's 60 jobs that have to be and then you got free agents and you got people retiring like the turnover is crazy in the nba so like if you're not getting better and you're staying the same place you walk in a dangerous line of getting replaced yeah so what are you working on this offseason i'm probably going to try and work on like a little little touch shot mid-range instead of trying to get all the way to the rim just because you know i'm like over the last couple weeks i've been dealing with like an ankle sprain and it's finally like feeling better but like for those two weeks i didn't have like the explosion that i usually do and i didn't have like the ability to like jump up like i'm missed a dunk one night against somebody i barely made one last night like i'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel it's like oh once i get old like i'm not gonna be able to use my athleticism like i gotta be able to get here and be crafty and use use different shots so probably that probably playing off pivots in the lane and then and then just working on little touch shots yeah how embarrassing is that when you miss a dunk i've never missed one i've never missed a dunk oh for oh yeah um well you don't have to say that well i just want to make sure everyone knows uh no i had no i i said clearly i've never missed one. I've never missed a dunk.
0 for 0. Yeah.
Well, you don't have to say that. Well, I just want to make sure everyone knows.
No, I said clearly I've never missed a dunk. Yeah.
You're right. You're right.
Is that 100% then or is that a 0%? It's 100% because I've dunked on the Koosh ball. Yeah.
I mean, I've never failed dunking. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
You have. You're right.
Honestly, not too much. Embarrassing isn't the word.
I'm more disappointed in myself. I just wasted two points.
I could have just laid it in and got my two points. Yeah, layup counts as two.
Yeah, but not embarrassed. I don't really hold fans' opinions very high.
That's smart. That's very smart.
Not in a disrespectful way, but you don't understand what's going on out here no you can disrespect that you can be like yeah we're idiots you don't get it you're not yeah no it's like we talked about earlier like the people who think they can just like you know go score an nba game or i saw something it was somebody on tiktok and it was like it was like you could give you 10 million dollars right now or or or like i could give you like ten thousand dollars right now or you had to go get like five rebounds in nba game for like $10 million right now or, or, or like I could give you like $10,000 right now,

or you had to go get like five rebounds in NBA game for like $10 million.

And people are like,

I think I could do it.

You couldn't bro.

It's the Jay-Z.

I'm six,

five and somewhat athletic and like pretty heady,

like smart IQ.

Like I can find the ball.

I average like three and a half rebounds at night,

like four rebounds.

Like you're not getting five.

Yeah.

Good rule of thumb is if somebody says you can either have $10,000 right now,

See you next time. like smart IQ, like I can find the ball.
I average like three and a half rebounds a night, like four rebounds. Like you're not getting five.
Yeah. Good rule of thumb is if somebody says you can either have $10,000 right now, say yes.
Yeah, just say yes. Don't finish the sentence.
I'll take the 10 grand. Tunnel of chaos.
Yeah. We were talking about the in-season tournament a few months ago and whether or not the players cared about it.
I think it was smart having the NBA setting aside, okay, here's cash. Here's money if you end up winning.
But some teams obviously cared about it. Some teams did not care about it as much.
Did you find yourself caring about the tournament? Yeah, I definitely cared about it. I don't think anybody didn't care, but I think some people had a for-sure plan and guideline of what they wanted to do with the in-season tournament.
And then some teams were just kind of figuring out their team still. It was so early in the season that a lot of people, if you look back at the games and look at the box scores, I'm sure probably half the teams in the league don't have two or three of the players that started in those games for them playing right now.
That's one thing. It felt like it was a year ago.
It was so long ago. So maybe they change it and make it a little longer or push it a couple days back in the season.
But no, I definitely cared. Are y'all pro colored courts? I actually kind of like the difference.
They're tough to look at, but I did like that they tried to do something new. I thought it was fun.
And it made it felt like it was different. I enjoyed, like people said they hated looking at, you know, like I think Phoenix had a purple court.
Charlotte was tough. What was Charlotte's? Charlotte was like teal.
Yeah. Just anytime we're such creatures of habit and when we watch a game on TV, if it's different, we're like, yeah exactly fun bad bad fun if they if they reintroduce the first line or the first down line in football right now people would be like oh that sucks for a week yeah they'd be like reality is you can't live without it but yeah anything news no i thought i thought it was i thought it was good like the intensity around the games was real like i don't know if y'all could feel it through the tv watching or not but like it felt you know people to call it like playoff atmosphere like we're treating like a playoff game kind of thing it felt like that for you know majority of the games yeah what's uh what's the best jersey the Bulls have right now that make you feel like you're gonna play the best because it is the black with the little pinstripe that's okay yeah the classic yeah those ones are great sick I love I think black I are the best.
Really? Yeah. The, I do think the NBA has gone too uniform crazy.
Like there's, there's times they've, they've, it was, it was a couple of years ago. Yeah.
A couple of years ago, the city additions first came out. It was rough.
There was a couple of bad ones. There was a game where I think the Pacers might've been playing the heat and it was like the, the heat was like color.
Oh yeah. It's like the throw up.
Yeah. The NFL wearing like yellow and the Pacers were wearing like playing the Heat, and it was like the Heat were wearing yellow.
It's like Color Rush throw-up night in the NFL. Yeah, the Heat were wearing yellow, and the Pacers were wearing what the Heat should be wearing.
I was like, what is going on? Or sometimes when the Nuggets – it was the Nuggets playing the Blazers, and the Nuggets were wearing a maroon, and you're like, what's going on here? Oh, yeah, they did. Well, that's when they changed their whole logo and color scheme.
Yeah, no, I don't like that. Man, what they need to do is bring back the old jerseys.
Yeah. The Nuggets with the stripes.
Yeah, the stripes. The Raptors, the purple Raptors uniform.
Yeah, the old Grizzlies. Old Grizzlies.
Grizzlies ones. You know, the Bulls are the only team in the NBA history who never changed their logo.
Yeah. It's the robot doing the DJ.
That's why the black one suit, I'm telling you. Yeah, those are awesome ones.
When you first put on the Bulls jersey, were you like, I'm Michael Jordan? Close, but no. I was more like, oh, I'm John Paxson.
Shout out to my guy Paxson. It is cool to be like, I'm wearing the same jersey that the greatest player of all time wore.
Yeah, I think, well. Oh, no in you went by it y'all are trying to get me in trouble you're a kobe guy i i think we'll come back to this the jersey part is like the cool part is like y'all i don't think y'all see the details but any team that's won a championship they have a crest yeah like a i don't even know what it looks like, but like it's like a shield with the number of championships you won.
And so like every time you put on your jersey, right, you're putting it on, you know, your back Caruso six, and then it has the thing on it. Six X, yeah.
So like when I was in LA, it said, you know, 16 or however many it was. And then the next year we won it, 17.
So like that part is when i put that on for the bulls like that was cool and then like hearing like the uh the little theme song yeah yeah yeah that's gets jacked up yeah so yeah what it is the you know you look up and you're like man i'm playing we're the best player bar none time not even close he's played there a couple times so you're lebron no it was what do you mean way more than a couple times oh oh wait i don't know who are we talking about we're talking about the greatest player ever yeah who is that my bmj oh you still got a year on your contract with the bulls so yeah yeah no i know probably you're setting the stage it's 1a 1b i don't know you don't know which one yeah i've got No, I know. Probably.
There's going to be pitchforks out of here. You're setting the stage.

It's 1A, 1B.

I don't know.

You don't know which one?

Yeah, I've gotten.

That's a really smart answer.

I feel like somebody else asked me this.

It is the new. I wanted to say it was you, but I don't know if it was.

It's like the new hot dog is a sandwich.

Oh, it's not new.

This has been going on.

No, I know, but I'm saying like everyone asks this question,

it becomes like first take when they just run out of stuff to talk about. well they yeah who's the go that's a whole nother that's a whole nother conversation sports talk tv oh what would you change oh what would i change yeah just the whole thing what about us would you change us no no no y'all are fine y'all are like third third party kind of like omniscient you know yeah everything yeah.
Yeah. I would have specific sports stuff, like have to have former players talk about stuff.
I don't hate that because there are definitely – People that go through it need to be the ones speaking on it. Well, the problem is I think what we try to do is we try to admit that we are really stupid before we say anything.
Great disclaimer. Right.
Huge disclaimer that basically his entire career – Except for MJ versus LeBron. We're very right about that.
Okay. But everyone else.
Historians of the debate. Yeah.
People who don't admit that they're dumb before they say dumb stuff. I could see how you'd be like, you have no idea.
Or after. Or at all.
Or just in general. Yeah.
There's nothing at stake if you're wrong. Mad Dog.
Mad Dog said he was going to retire if the Diamondbacks made the World Series the world series yeah right yeah yeah they went and he's like come on i was joking about that yeah just kidding i got three more years on my contract yeah he would have high stepped around the studio if he was right about it yeah uh yeah that's a fair point i think having having somebody at least in the conversation that's gone through it would probably be a good addition overall yeah are you a are you a cowboys fan no i'm not i got friends that are oh you talked about this earlier i don't have a favorite pro sports team like i grew up in a&m so like maroon kool-aid from birth and then i never caught on i would always watch like the texas teams though like growing up with basketball i had you know like prime texas basketball i had t-mac yow i had dirk yeah uh you know the the hall of fame trio in san antonio so like i was i was

a fan of theirs but like i didn't follow the teams did you just try to say some of my friends are

cowboys fans so you can relate to them you're are you allowed to do that no no no i if they lose or

win i don't care okay yeah no it makes no difference to me hey cowboys fan you don't care you don't

even take joy when they lose that's the best part about not being a cowboys i take joy in my friend's

Thank you. win i don't care okay yeah no it makes no difference to me hey cowboys fan you don't care you don't even take joy when they lose that's the best part about not being a cowboys i take joy in my friend's misery yeah okay that's fair yeah yeah yeah that's me me be being a good friend like if i didn't do that you'd be a bad friend yeah if you're like oh i'm so sorry yeah yeah that would be lame all right well i got one last question it's a rowback question rhoback.com promo code take 20 off your first purchase q-O-B-A-C-K dot com.
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This has been awesome. We actually, once we get into playoff basketball, maybe when we have a question where we're the dumb people talking about it, we might have to hit you up and be like, hey, can you help us? Yeah, phone a friend.
Yeah, phone a friend. My last question, though, is how many times do you think LeBron has read The Godfather? The book, read The Godfather? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The book. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How many times do you think he's read it? Twice. Cover to cover? Yeah.
Huh. Have you seen him read it? Cover to cover, you mean the front cover and the back cover? Have you seen him reading it? No, I haven't.
I i haven't do you remember when he was photographed walking into the locker room and every time his bookmark was on the same was that was that in the bubble when he had the book i don't know it was then someone asked him like who his favorite characters were and he he was like uh the italian guy i don't know but let's see lebron asked what his favorite scene from the godfather Let's see what he says. They're probably going to play a stupid ad before this.
They're definitely going to. It's like the one where they kill everybody.
Oh, how awesome is it to play with J.R. Smith? Dude, Swish is the best.
I play a lot of golf with him. Really? He's really good, right? Yeah, he's good.
When he's on, he's really good. Yeah.
Yeah, he was so chill. Dude was that was something while we're filling this time our our team in the bubble had you know whenever you don't play in the games you do these things called stay ready runs so like the guys that don't play will play pickup in the days stay in shape in case they got to go in and play and so like it would be you know Quinn Cook, Jared Dudley,

Taylor Horton Tucker, J.R. Smith, Dion Waiters,

JaVale and Dwight would get in there.

Like we had some like elite, elite pickup runs in the bubble when they weren't playing in between days.

So like every now and then I'd go in and get my work in,

then I'd just sit there and watch them play.

Yeah.

Dude, the shot-making ability for Dion and Swish. Yeah, J.R, when he would get hot, it was just like everything would go in.
Yeah. I mean, if he would have played, I mean, he did pretty well for himself.
It's not like he had a bad career. Like, he had a very good career.
But, like, if he would have played in this era, it would have been talked about. Yeah.
So here's LeBron on The Godfather. Let's see what he says.
Not related to the game, but since it has been a lot of publicity yesterday and today about Godfather Part II. Is that The Godfather talking about? The scene or the moment or the phrase or the quote you like more from the movie.
Oh, from The Godfather. It's too many different phrases and too many different lines in that movie to just categorize one.

But which is the one?

This guy doubled down on it?

Yeah, he was fucking going at him.

I've never seen this.

Each movie is nine hours long.

I mean, what do you want me to do?

I mean, there's so many. I don't know.
I'll let you pick one and I'll roll with it. It's a great trilogy.
That's actually the biggest proof. Information overload.
That he didn't watch them was that he said it's a great trilogy. Yeah.
It's a great one and two. Yeah.
The third one stinks. I'm going to be, this is going to be a hot, I've never seen The Godfather or the second one.
As an Italian? Yeah, I know. What the fuck? I know.
I'll go home and watch it today. You a Goodfellas guy? Not really.
I don't watch a lot of TV. No, I've never seen that.
Oh my God. I don't watch a lot of TV.
Like I watch sports. I watch YouTube.
Max, what do you, I mean, Max, this is Italian discrimination by one of your own. That's going to be disappointed in me.
No, it's all right. Hell yeah, man.
You guys stick together? Max doesn't mean that. No, you're still trying to put in that Philly.
I will say, like, I have. Godfather is like a thing that is on in my house during Thanksgiving, like every year, but I don't know any, I don't like know it like bar for bar like that.
Like, I don't like sit down and watch it all the time. It's always kind of on it's like that's hilarious yeah yeah it's hilarious that it's on it's on it's like no actually every thanksgiving like my like in between football games it's god father like everything's like the radio in your house yeah it's just background noise godfather yeah you leave your house like oh wait you forgot to put off the godfather, I don't know.
They used to run it on AMC during every Thanksgiving, so it was an easy flip back and forth. Like commercial, go to the Godfather, go back to the football game.
Just catching three minutes. Yeah, but then they stopped putting it on AMC, so we just run it if there's a downtime in the football.
I think what you're doing is smart, by the way, Alex. You're definitely not saying anything bad about LeBron today, just in case.
No, great guy. Just in case.
All right, well, this has been awesome, man. Long overdue.
One question. Are y'all made up after the James? Yes.
Yeah. I was a bitch.
There was a lot of buildup to that, but then we didn't get to see. Yeah, well, he was at the game.
Yeah. Yeah.
I was more mad. You were yelling at that dude behind.
That guy was a piece of shit. He sounded like one.
We made friends later. Oh, did you? Yeah, well, it's like, have you ever had- Classic tough guy falling back scene.
Yeah. He's telling you to sit down, then you- He didn't think I was going to stand up to him.
Yeah, he didn't. And then when I did, he kind of respected it.
It's like, you know, sometimes you butt heads with somebody. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Then you become friends. I also was never mad at PFT.
I was only mad at Hank. No, that's fair.
I remember seeing it. Because Hank is annoying.
And when his teams lose, he just doesn't talk. Well.
So that was the part. Probably why he's been quiet today.
Yeah, right. So actually, that's a good question.
How many players are there in the NBA that you could put on Wisconsin and win the national championship? Because they got beat by a 12-seater. I will say, it might have been me, because I didn't watch Wisconsin play all year, and apparently I had a pretty good year.
Decent. The only game I watched all year was the worst.
It looks like they didn't know how to play basketball. It was not great.
No, it was not. That was probably the game that you're like, yeah, I can't watch college basketball.
It was, yeah. The first half was tough.
I mean, they didn't know how to play basketball. The first half was tough.
It was so bad. But, yeah, it was only Hank because he's just like, when his team's loose, he doesn't even watch.
Yeah, no, I remember seeing some of the live stream stuff from the first weekend. There was a lot of animosity in the- Yeah, it gets tested.
The worst. The den, the better den.
Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you probably also saw live streams this year in football season you probably didn't see hank yeah patriots sucked so he didn't watch it's nice you know a clip i i stumbled upon the other day was was hank jumping into the pool and then running into the house yeah cowboys fan slamming into the wall yeah huge decrease that's weird he was a lot more lively when that team lost for him it was fun you know i had to make lemons out of lemonade out of lemons yeah cowboys fans been doing that for a while yeah that's true all right well caruso thank you so much man uh awesome having you on we got to have you back on oh yeah especially because you live not too far from here yeah it's been long overdue's been long overdue.
We also got a – I know we're doing our – court,

we're doing a mini golf tournament next week, so they're changing it,

but we have to have you come and –

Those are electric, by the way.

I've watched those on YouTube.

Yeah.

We're going to do one all live next week, but we should have you come

and have me –

Are you doing it at the –

Here.

They're building it here.

Oh, in here.

Yeah.

If you want to come do a practice round.

Yeah, you can.

If you're around, you can do a practice round.

What's your game like? You get a putt putt? Yeah, we'll do a pro-am. Yeah.
I'm probably better at real golf than putt-putt, but I compete. Yeah.
Yeah, gauntlet. He sees.
Yeah, you had a good time. Was it 246? It's 246.
That's pretty good, yeah. That's pretty damn good.
He almost tripped over the whole set. Yeah, with the roughing the passer from the bags board.
If you had gotten hurt hurt that would have been yeah that would have been a tough sell just had to move back to new york yeah uh all right well thanks so much man appreciate it guys thanks man alex caruso was brought to you by cars.com cars.com is a leading digital marketplace that connects car shoppers with a perfect car celebrating 25 years of helpingpers research, find inventory, finance, and sell cars. Wherever life takes you next and whoever you're looking to be, there's a car for that on cars.com.
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I'm getting an El Camino and I'm getting it off cars.com. Cars.com has so many so many options no matter what you're looking for you'll be able to find something that you want check it out for your next possibility in cars.com where to next okay let's wrap it up we got fire fest of the week hank yeah my fire fest is uh tried to you know do something fun for the company got a mini golf tournament built.
Some are saying it's the only idea I have. That's fine.
Who said that? Nick. He wrote an intro for it, and it's like, mini golf, the only idea Henry Locke has ever had.
And I was like, oh, dude. I did the Alonzo Mourning.
Kind of hurts, yeah. Kind of true.
It's kind of true. But now I'm just getting heat because there's a bunch of dick holes.
Yeah? Dick, dick holes. Yeah, I mean, it was very phallic.
I didn't do the individual holes, and I'd probably, it was maybe a bit of an oversight, but there are probably five or six solid dick holes. Like the outline of the holes? Dick holes, yeah.
Look like dicks? You should call that two men corner if they're docking each other. Yeah.
That's a good idea. Yeah.
Hank also. It's the only good idea I've ever had.
He's come up to me probably. What are you going to say? I know what you're going to say.
What do you think I'm going to say? About practicing? Yeah. So Hank has come up to me probably.
It's true. I want to play.
Ten times in the last four days asking me the same question every single time. And I him the same answer every time and then he comes back to me like two hours later he's like but what like maybe what if i could what if we could practice more the the issue is a bunch of people are flying in for this they're flying in late tuesday they only have a chance to practice once hank is like but can everyone else just practice before that i'm like no if we're gonna do it you know that people complain if everyone gets if people get to practice more than others well hank would never do that at a mini golf tournament get there early and he keeps coming up to me asking me if like there's any way that other people hank can practice more and i'm like we have to keep it consistent and he just thinks that like i'm gonna change my answer depending on the day.
Hank's definitely going to practice late at night. He's going to sneak back in.
We need to check out the security camera. No, I play by the rules.
If you really want to get a peek inside my mind, I understand and I respect the decision. I understand why it happened.
It's going up against Dave, Ryan Whitney, and Kirk Minahan, who are impossible to argue with. My hope a little bit maybe was like maybe Big Cat will fight the fight for me and then I can kind of get in his ear like Draymond Green.
But I've tested the waters in Big Cat. Many times.
Many times. What motivation do you think Big Cat would have to go to basketball? He wants to practice.
I know. I'm saying that's my hope.
Oh, you thought I did. Maybe.
No, one practice is more than enough. Honestly, Hank, the correct thought about this tournament is I don't care if I practice before.
Right. We're going to go out there.
I don't want to practice to win. It's fun.
We have a mini golf course set up. I want to practice to win.
I don't care as much about winning as much as when we have a mini golf course in the office. I am a child.
I'm like, I want to play with this mini golf course. But it's fine.
I respect that. That might just be my fire.
Hank just keeps asking me the same question. I keep giving him the same answer.
Then he comes back and he's like, but what about... Thankfully, we're? I will say that to it.
We're gone this weekend. Otherwise intrusive thoughts made.
If you would have been here practice for sure. 100% you'd be here, but I think you've actually, I think you've already practiced.
I haven't secretly. No, I respect, I respect the rules.
I've just been maybe lobbying. Swear to God.
You haven't practiced yet. Swear to God.
I haven't taken it. I'm not going to, i understand how much people are going to bitch about this so i have not i've just been trying to maybe change legislation you know in the court unsuccessfully unsuccessfully you i still i'm definitely getting asked that at least two more times no it's all we're not gonna be back by the time we're back it's practice round day yeah but you're gonna be like oh i practiced once but practice again? No, no.
It's over. We've made it.
Our flight's tonight. We're good.
We're done practicing. Yeah.
Did Hank design this entire tournament just so that he could practice mini golf? Yes. No, it's just it was a good idea I had.
Mini golf. It's the mini golf button.
Hank, what ideas you got? Mini golf. It's going to be- Or mega golf.
Mega golf. Ooh, I like mega golf Regular golf It's got to be bigger than regular golf With bigger holes Longer holes, bigger holes Bigger clubs That would be fun I would play mega golf Next week is going to be great we're Wednesday will be uh Wednesday morning will be round one when Wednesday afternoon will be round two then a cut Wednesday night prime time will be round three and then we're saving the final round for Thursday night after the Masters so people don't have to choose between us and the Masters I think we'd probably lose that fight mm-hmm B of changing legislation hank uh my fire fest of the week is that billy football is running for congress so uh what started out as encouraging billy to run for george santos's seat excuse me run against george santos uh for congress is turned into billy seriously doing uh a campaign to get elected to New York's third district to the point where today he was interviewed on Fox News.
I thought he did well on Fox News. Yeah.
I thought he did a pretty good job. All things considered, the lady came after him right off the start and said, like, you're not really running.
No, I regret to inform you, Billy Football is 100% legitimately running for this seat., my fire fest is that I feel like Oppenheimer that, uh, by, by putting this into motion, I've affected the course of the United States for the foreseeable future. Yeah.
It's scary. It's a scary thought.
It also, it would be the perfect ending to like a, a part of my take documentary where it shows like, where are they now? Like at the end of animal where it's like oh big cat PFT Hank are doing this Billy football went on to serve eight terms in Congress and is now running for vice president yeah like I could see that I could see that scenario panning out he is taking it seriously so if you want to read more about Billy running for Congress go to Bill Cotter for congress.com I guess i could see billy maybe the story ends like billy gets elected to congress and then creates a law that bans podcasting and shut down forever oh there are podcast libraries yeah so he's like you you can only have your podcast live for 24 hours you're a podcaster you're a criminal yeah i would actually take it one step further hank i would would say that he could put us all in prison. Yeah.
Billy's ultimate revenge is just throwing us into a CIA black side. I'm rooting for Billy to get to a point where he has to debate, and then I'm also rooting for Billy to win, and then some big scandal takes him down.
I want him to just live the George Santos story arc. Yeah.
Perfect. Except he's he's stealing frogs because and then he would also just make us call him like congressman bill cotter for the rest of his life i yeah that'd be funny yeah i also hope that this ends it'd be awesome if like he lost but then he did like election fraud and like campaign for like four years to try to get the results overturned yeah because somebody screwed him over of his votes.
It's going to be sad. And we also found out his middle name is Biddle.
Yeah. That was a shocker.
I still can't believe it. I can't believe it.
Bad job on our part not uncovering that years ago. Biddle.
And you know that Billy's going to be like, don't make fun of it. It's my mom's name from some English old person.
But it's still Biddle. Yeah.
It's not like that's a weird name. It's the fact that it's Billy Biddle.
Yeah. That's the weird part.
Yeah. It's not a normal name.
No, it's not. But you know his answer would be that, like English something or other.
Yeah. I want him to win.
Listen, he's running on common sense. Dudes can't buy houses anymore.
Let's fix that. I think the article that was written about him, he's like, everyone can see there's problems.
And I see these problems and face value. And that was it.
That was it. But he sees the problems.
So his website, which is, this is Bill Cotter for Congress 1.0. 2.0 will be coming out later where it kind of expands on his basic talking points for his campaign.
But his campaign is, I like the good things. Yeah.
So if you like good stuff, then I'm a good guy to vote into office. Remember when life rocked? Yeah.
So, I mean, I'm proud of Billy for taking it seriously. But at the same time, I'm like, dear God.
No, I mean, the craziest part about all of this- He's worked more in three weeks on this campaign than he did his entire career. Correct.
He literally said that. Yeah.
He said, I've never worked harder than I have over the past week. It also is, it's a sad state of like American politics that like I saw, I've read everything Billy's written and I saw him on TV and I was like, he's actually not a bad option.
He isn't. I honestly don't think he's that bad of an option.
He would not be the most incompet con right exactly that's that so I'm without a doubt I'm getting I'm inching closer and closer to a full endorsement I haven't gotten there yet because he's running up against a guy named Jim toes so I want to see what Jim toes has to say but uh we're getting closer to a full billion endorsement for me yep yeah it's uh it's something it's something to take in I hope i hope we also get to a point where it's like the we have to like he gets the delegation of the riders and jerry's army and the minifans like he's gotta he's gotta actually like pander for the endorsement the best part of the interview was today when they asked him if he would if he is supporting donald trump for president yeah and he goes yes i would accept donald support donald trump's support if he gave it to me yeah he flipped it on him yeah like billy you can't teach that no you can't but yeah like you know when it used to be that like oh the washington post has decided who they're they're backing yeah i need that for like jerry's army has come to their decision yep the minifans are ready to say who they are backing so this this concerns me a little bit max just brought brought up Jim Toes' website. Yeah.
So Billy's running on the Common Sense platform. Oh, no.
Jim Toes' platform is... Oh, no! It is hardcore common sense.
That's way more common sense. Billy, how can you get more hardcore than hardcore? You can't.
Hardcore common sense. The fact that he spells his name like actual Toes.
Yeah. I was just assuming it was like Jonathan Taves.
No, his name literally means athlete's foot. So Billy's got to go mega hardcore common sense.
Yeah. Hardcore common sense beats common sense every day.
Foot fetish. What about hardcore common sense? What about NSFW common sense? Yeah.
Yeah. it's so common sense you won't even be able to show your your colleagues yeah his name translates to foot sex this guy also does he what part of gym is that does he live in the district he lives in the district problem jimmy toes i yeah that or athlete's foot.
If it's GYM. True.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. My fire fest.
Have you contributed to Billy football for Congress? I haven't decided yet. I haven't.
I haven't yet. Yeah.
I also think that he probably doesn't have his financial setup that I would assume that I would just get robbed. Yeah.
I think he probably would just get recurring payments from me yeah this is it is very similar

to the plot line of jonah and veep yeah yeah i also i have to watch my finances because i don't know if you know it's hogs for the cause season so i got hit up pretty hard i did know that yeah i got hit up pretty hard who hits you up this year uh ben mince okay yeah so it's caught it's costly being his friend very costly costly. My Fyre Fest.
Oh, actually, I've had a pretty good week, but we have our wings date with Stanford Steve. We don't have a wings place.
So anyone who's in Arizona, tell me the best wings place. Oh, I got one.
Oh, okay. So then I don't have a Fyre Fest.
I got a really good one. Yep.
I don't say it. Okay.
Also, I got an email from my daughter's school that said that there was a bout of diarrhea going around. And if you have three diarreas, you're out for the day.
And I was like, that would suck if we had that here. That's a lot of diarrhea.
I'd be out. Yeah.
We'd all be out. I saw that email.
I was like, wait, they have a three-strike diarrhea policy? That's wild. Crazy.
Wasn't my daughter. But still like just the idea of being anywhere where three

diarrheas would get me kicked out i i would be scared to go anywhere swimming pool swimming

pool is like if you've had tubs yeah if you've had diarrhea within the last year you're not oh

yeah hot tubs i don't listen that's not hot tub is pretty much a bath yeah and that it does say

don't if you come in here don't have diarrhea it's like bro i always have diarrhea so that's

not we're not doing that uh all right jake finish off, on a similar note, the other day I was in the bathroom and the lights just went off. Yeah, lights, they do that when there's not enough movement.
So I was sitting too long and it just got pitch black and I didn't turn on my flashlight. Oh, no.
Yeah, that's rough. That's rough.
It's happened to me a couple of times. Yeah, me too.
Yeah. We need to change those timers.
It's very quick. It's just hanging out.
You're hanging out too long. Yeah.
I'm pooping in here. But it's nice when somebody walks in and you're just like, thank you.
Yeah. I kind of like pooping in the dark.
Yeah, but you got to clean up. You want to unpack that real quick? There's something about just like- You just don't want to see yourself? Yeah.
Yeah. I can see that.
Yes, yes, yes. And you can focus.
Right. Like, I've done it in my apartment before.
Just like, it's dark. I'll just, I am pooping.
You straight out of the way. Oh, yeah.
If you wake up in the middle of the night, you have to shit. I never turn the lights on.
Yes, exactly. I'll wake you up.
Yes. Seeing yourself does suck.
I actually... A real firefest is I have not gotten the toenail polish off my toes from Arch Madness a month ago every morning i wake up and i'm like oh fuck and i'm just too lazy i just don't how much toenail polish is still on there all of it are you serious i that yeah that's all i just assumed that it faded away no you can use i my wife gave me the toenail polish remover, and I started to do it, and it took fucking forever, and I just gave up, and I was like, I'll just...
I don't know. I guess next time I go to a pool, it's going to be...
I guess we could... Yeah, I probably could.
This could be a problem this weekend. Yeah.
Max... Although, maybe it's just Cale Williams.
Cale Williams. Max, do you take your shirt off when you poop? Never.
Never? You seem like a guy who would. No, I try to keep my shirt on as often as possible.
That's another thing. Sometimes I'll shower in the dark because I don't want to see myself.
That's dangerous. That's not fully dark.
You shower in the dark? Not fully dark. It's kind of relaxing, actually.
Well, it's like if it's daytime and I don't have windows, but I'll open my door a little bit and then the natural light will come through.

Yeah, like a tiny bit of light in the shower.

Yeah, like a tiny bit of light in the shower.

It's like a meditation.

It's like relaxing.

All right.

Good show, boys.

Numbers.

Eight.

Three.

Forty.

Eighteen.

I know 77. Ninety 40.
18. That was 77.

99.

Pug.

Good luck to Pug and Seton Hall tonight.

20.

I almost never said it.

That would have been brutal.

56.

56.

That's the first one I won on.

You didn't win.

Look at this.

Yeah, at the old office, I guess.

Doesn't win. Or yeah, at the old office, I guess.
Doesn't count. We're sinking away.
I don't know what I'm to say. I'll say it anyway.
Today's another day to find you shining away. I'll be coming for your love, okay? For your love, okay, take me on I'll be gone, but I don't want you

Needless to say

I'm sorry. Thank you.
It's the better to be safe and solid Take on me Take me on I'll be right back. Take on me, take me on I'll be gone