March Madness, We Recap The First 4 Days Of The Tourney, Then Talk To Jack Gohlke From Oakland And DJ Burns From NC State

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On today's part of my take, we have March Madness recap. What a four days we just witnessed.
It's been crazy. It's going to be a loopy episode.
Our brains are full of basketball we also have uh jack golki and dj burns two of the heroes from the first four days nc state still marching on they beat jack golki's oakland but he also captured the hearts of america when they took down kentucky uh who's back the week and it's gonna be a great show we're gonna put it together we've been watching non-stop basketball together we're gonna do it ever had one of those days when it's going to be a great show. We're going to put it together.
We've been watching nonstop basketball together.

We're going to do it.

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Boy! It's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports. Welcome to part of my take presented by DraftKings Sportsbook.
New customers can bet $5 to get $150 in bonus bets only at DraftKings Sportsbook with code TAKE. Today is Monday, March 25th, and my head is full of basketball.
My eyes have been burning for four days. I feel like I've gained 15 pounds.
I've had a headache nonstop, but God damn it, was that fun. I've had of vegetables since thursday yeah two a lot i have not had yeah just because of the wedding early course you get the asparagus took a couple bites of that i haven't that's it i've had i've had candy on candy on candy and we just watched basketball for four days straight and i feel great though i feel great i will say this uh for you people listening right now.
I would throw this out there maybe Monday after Super Bowl and then Monday after the first weekend of March Madness. Two worst Mondays in the calendar year.
Your body just craves day basketball. You're just sitting there like, what do I do with the rest of my life? Basically, you're basically red.
Or no, Brooks getting out of Shawshank, and you're like, this sucks. Yeah.
I want to go back to just sitting on a couch with my boys watching hoop. Yeah.
If you want day ball, by the way, look at Big Cat's blog on the coach's picture. Yes.
Which we can talk about a little bit in a little bit. I'm going to be up till four in the morning tonight.
That's fun. That's a nice little like wind down after a week in the ball.
But yeah, it was a great time. The games weren't that competitive over the weekend um well let's do it's still a lot of basketball let's debate this before we we go through the games and talk about all the story lines there's the we we do this as sports fans we have to say well this march madness has been great or this one has sucked i've seen both arguments i'm firmly in yeah i wish there was less blowouts but what this March Madness is setting up it's actually exactly what I want a few upsets in the first round some shocking moments you get a Jack Golke you get a Yale beating Auburn you get these weird things happening but then you get the best 16 teams in the sweet 16 and you have I know it's chalky, but we have matchups that are so, so great and I don't want to get to the Sweet 16 and have like a 13 seed who's going to lose by 20 to UConn.
Yeah. 30 to UConn.
We got some blue bloods in there. We got a national title rematch.
Yeah. UConn and San Diego State.
And the one Cinderella that's still in there is a Cinderella that we can all focus on in NC State. Also, not a Cinderella anymore because they just keep winning.
I think they went from Cinderella to just Team of Destiny. There was a moment when NC State, in that Oakland game, they win in overtime.
And I'm like, why can't they just win it all? Yeah, they're good. They're legit good.
The two DJs and then Diara. They got some players.
Who's fasting for Ramadan, which is nuts. So they're the new Yukon.
Yeah, he's not been eating during these games. And they've played seven games in 12 days.
That's really impressive. I don't think I'd be able to watch basketball without eating.
No. Much less play it.
Definitely not. I sit on that couch.
It's like Pavlov's dog. He's like are we eating today? Oh, we had lunch two minutes ago.
Let's talk about dinner. Yeah, we've got solid matchups in the next round.
And also, shout out to the ACC. The ACC, what are they, 8-1 in the tournament? The one loss being UVA in the first four.
Well, the Big East also undefeated. Big East undefeated.
Big East undefeated, 6-0. Big East back.
Probably should have put more teams in from the Big East. Big East is back.
Well, yeah, UConn had Northwestern and Stetson. Yeah.
But, yeah, we got some really good matchups coming up next weekend. Oh, so excited.
I'm pumped about that. I would have liked more close games, maybe with the same results, but more close games, but all in all, like, yeah, it was a weekend well spent.
Yes. I don't want to be second-guessing my weekend, and the fact that the very last game or second-to-last game was the Houston A&M shocker that went to overtime.
Yeah, that was incredible. That's a good way for me to, like, wash a little bit of the stink of the blowouts out of my mouth.
Yeah, so I don't like it, the years when we get to Sweet 16 and we have multiple 13, 14, 15 St. Peter's.
That was a great story. But then you get – St.
Peter's went all the way to the Elite Eight, correct? Yeah, they beat Purdue in the Sweet 16. And they lost by like 40 to UNC.
UNC beating by 50. Right.
You get Cinderella fatigue. We can channel all of our Cinderella energy into NC State now, which is nice.
Yeah. Usually when these double-digit seeds lose, they lose in big fashion.
Right. Like they just completely run out of gas.
Right. So I'm very excited with this tournament.
I'm excited with what we've watched. Where do you want to start? Let's start on Friday.
Oh, okay. That's it.
We usually go in chronological order. That's true.
Fact or fiction. Yeah, we do.
On the show. Okay, so I didn't really watch much of the games because i was flying and then i was at dinner but i did see one game yes james madison wisconsin james madison wisconsin wisconsin played like fucking ass jmu played like fucking uh good ass like a really good ass no i that was torture for me it was a torturous game it was they they played uh just horrendous I don't think they knew what JMU was all about it felt like they showed up and they're like oh yeah we'll just win this game oh yeah JMU is gonna pressure us on every possession and we'll just not be able to handle the pressure they were not ready for the fight the fight was brought to them they were not ready for the fight uh why are you pulling up the box? I was just curious.
I was looking. Yeah, but it sucked.
It sucked. And it was torture for me.
I hated every second of it. As you get older, it's weird because you think that these games should matter less as you get older and have perspective.
But I was thinking about it because I was so mad at myself, so sad on Friday night. And I realized that they, in a weird way, matter more because as you get older, your teams keep some, you know, your friendships alive.
And all my college friends who I'm still very good friends with, like, we watch it together and we talk about it. And then, like, to have that performance and that just disgusting.
I would have rather have lost on a buzzer beater than the way wisconsin went out because it was so pathetic um and then it's got me questioning everything with the direction of the program and everything so yeah you had fun i had torture yeah i had a pretty good time it was a great night uh wisconsin i would say they weren't ready for the defensive pressure but also wisconsin would have been i think they would have been better if the game had been played on like monday or or Tuesday. Yeah, no.
When they were on a roll in the Big Ten tournament. And then they had to take a couple days off, and they kind of reverted back.
They were Jekyll and Hyde all year, and what happened in the Big Ten tournament just pulled me back in. And I knew that was going to happen, and it just pulled me right back into being like, oh, maybe this team will hit all their shots, and they'll be great.
And they were not. And, yeah, it sucked.
AJ Store was bad was bad wall was not good it was the last game like just sucked everything sucked yeah we had a great game our big three showed up uh it was an electric atmosphere inside the barclays yeah it's the the loudest that it's been inside the barclays which when you look back at the history of teams that have played there yeah you had the nets for a little bit and then you have what the a10 tournament yeah so yeah uh the the biggest night in the history of the barclays in terms of crowd noise it was a blast what was up with the guy behind you that you told to shut the fuck up well he needed to shut the fuck up and so i told him to shut the fuck up i have a lot of practice what happened after fuck up because of you hank i know it was good it was good to see that and not be on the receiving end of it yeah uh so basically what happened was was Max, myself, my friend Brian that I went to JMU with, and then Russillo met up with us. Russillo put a rookie mistake.
He was trying to watch Vermont Duke. With a Cardinals hat on.
With a Cardinals hat on. Saw that picture.
I was like, just Russillo. That's Russillo.
I didn't even ask him. I love him, but that's just Russillo.
I didn't question it. I was like, okay, Brian's here, whatever.
But he made a rookie mistake. He rookie mistake he bought tickets for the early slate oh no thinking he was going to get all the games and then you don't get all and then he got kicked out and then uh then he had to be like hey is there an extra ticket yeah we got you ryan so ryan was watching the games with us and the guy behind us started running his mouth a little bit right after we got out to an early start because jmu came out pretty hot and he was like telling me to sit down called me a c word like the australian c word and uh and i was just like this guy needs to shut the fuck up and i was about seven or eight cocktails deep at the time uh so i just i let him have it and then after i said that to him we reached like a mutual respect thing where the guy was like fair enough and he was like are you even a jmu fan i was like yeah i went to school there and he didn't believe me at first and he thought that i was wearing a suit going there to troll all the wisconsin people that i was sitting next to okay um and so i explained to him i went there i liked the team he was like okay okay that's that's somewhat fair and i was like how about this how about we both agree that whoever wins we want the other team to beat the fuck out of duke in the next round he was like okay that's good so we bonded also he thought rusillo was my security guard that was with me so he's a little bit intimidated he is he's built he was ready to roll yeah ryan was ready to rock and roll so it was a yeah it was a fun night and getting to see your team win a tournament game is uh it's electric and my hopes got up i was i was thinking that we were going to come out and at least show some fight against Duke.
Yeah, no, you guys suck too. We just suck way more.
Yeah, it was a great Friday night. Because that was...
Well, actually, on Friday night, you had a great Friday night. I had a torture Friday night.
Hank and I almost broke up for good. Yeah, I heard about that.
Yeah, we almost actually ended our relationship forever. But you should thank me.
You actually should thank me, Big Cat. Because you would have much rather lose on Friday night to me than to beat us and then get your shit kicked in by Duke.
Yeah, no, I agree. I don't think we would have lost by 30 to Duke, but I agree.
It's 38. Yeah, it sucked.
I mean, I bet on James Madison. I held my end of the bargain.
I rooted very hard for James Madison today, and it was not good. Yeah, Hank and I had a grudge battle that almost ended our relationship for good.
Yeah, I don't know what I was supposed to do. I mean, I explained it to you as many times.
And it was before the game. I was just making a lighthearted comment.
We basically stood in the kitchen. Wait, wait.
So just to set the table here, Hank was rooting for JMU because in a sponsored ad deal. Correct.
We drew JMU. Correct.
As our team that we had to root for. But he was saying it.
So was Hank not being a good employee? No, he was saying it like he was going to root for JMU. He was like, people want to tune in to see me and you go after each other.
I was like, no, they don't. You have no connection to JMU.
I was like, if PFT was here, that would make sense.

When Max has a big game, I've lost so much money betting on Philly sports and riding

with Max.

But to be fair, you sometimes do that because that way when you lose your bet, you can't

get mad at Max and that's fun.

It's very fun.

I bet the Eagles because I thought they were going to win the Super Bowl.

I bet the Phillies because I thought they were going to win the World Series. It wasn't because I was trolling Max.
The Villanova one was trolling. But yeah, Hank, he was basically like, I'm going to root for JMU like I've been rooting for this team my whole life.
And I was like, but that doesn't make sense. Yeah, Hank was a one-man house-divided bumper sticker with his allegiances to JMU and also Duke.
And also Duke. Yeah.
I actually have the idea that Hank came out the biggest loser in this whole entire squad. He didn't even get to enjoy a win.
Right, because I didn't lose fully because I never lost to Duke. You obviously got a win and then you lost Duke, but you got a win.
And Hank didn't get his sponsored deal to the point where he could win money. The team that he actually likes, Duke, played his sponsored deal and he just didn't root for duke so everyone's like wait are you a duke fan anymore hank was the biggest loser yeah but now i can just hop back in okay yeah you can hop back in and it was hard i i did think it wasn't going to matter and then you know once the game started i saw the duke unis in action it made you a little teary-eyed hank hop back in i want you to root to root for Duke.
I like it when you root for Duke. Hank, I want you to root really hard for Duke.
In fact, I want you to go to their next game. Where are they playing? Oh, they're playing in Dallas.
Oh! Nice! Oh, that's crazy. But Hank and I did make up.
It was a 12-hour tiff. I found Friday as well.
I didn't mean to say t i have i have a tweet here from oh it's from tiffany oh she wants to know if hank can come to dallas to watch his beloved duke blue devils is that actually no oh yes did she actually somebody said at hennies and i was tagged in because it was a reply to a tweet i had the The never-ending story. Are you going to Dallas for the next Duke game?

Eyeball emoji at Tiffany Gomez.

Tiffany replied 29 minutes ago, good question, dot, dot, dot.

Oh, you got to go.

At Henny's question mark.

You got to go.

Oh, my God.

You got to go.

I give you permission to go if you want to go, Hank.

You got to go.

Yeah, I'll look into it.

Okay, great.

You always ride for Duke as he sits in his purple jumpsuit.

Hank, you got to go down there and fix your wall up.

Thank you. yeah i'll look into it okay great you always ride for duke as he sits in his purple jumpsuit you got to go down there and fix your wall up you gotta you gotta plaster her walls hank yeah i might have to i gotta head her up yeah but hank and i did we we ended our beef uh just the very next day it was a bad night for me i had a very very bad time that was sports should not change your mood as much as they do i mean you had a bad time today i had a bad time today but again like i'm looking back at friday i had a great friday night i had a great saturday i had a stressful the thing about today though was i was stressed out and i was i was anxious before the game and then i didn't even get a single second's worth of joy out of the game today yeah i went immediately from being anxious to being sad to dead it was never we never got to cheer never got i loaded up on jmu i didn't get money line spread i was like let's go you know i i had i had had the appropriate amount of time to process the debacle and torture of friday night i would moved on we had a good saturday And then, yeah, there was no cheering.
Jamie was built to beat the Big Ten. We can't hang with the ACC yet.
Yeah. That's the next step for us.
And now, who are we losing in the portal? Don't talk. If you want to be a big-time basketball school, that's what you've got to deal with.
What did you say? What did you say on Friday? Give the person a day. Okay, all right.
I'll give you a day. Give me a day, and then we'll talk portal.
I'll give you a day. I'll give you a day, and then we'll talk portal.
We were already talking about my coach going somewhere else earlier. I didn't bring that up.
I know. I know.
I said, yeah, it was not you. Yeah.
But just give me a day to process. Portal sucks.
No, I asked that because Wisconsin just started, everyone just started hitting the portal. It's like the worst part about college sports now is like yeah you lose a game and then the minute after you're just like oh cool portal portal for everyone next year all right let's talk about some other games but congratulations pft that was you guys i mean yeah you took i really was like the game started and you guys were like we're gonna play 10 times more times more aggressive and faster than Wisconsin.
And Wisconsin just looked like they had just never seen that. And it was over from that moment.
Yeah. We played some Tenacious D on Friday for sure.
And it was so fun to watch. I'm so glad I got to experience it.
It's something that I never thought. JMU basketball has never been a threat to do this ever.
And now we got some that we're building on. So it's maybe it was sweet 16.
There's nothing like that. Second weekend.
My little Grinch heart grew three times the size that day. Yeah.
Okay. So let's talk some other games.
Where do we want to start? There's been all the favorites have advanced basically. Oh, we could start with North Carolina doing the narrative bowl of tom iso in march we've had about 10 minutes of he did it again he's done it again tom iso you know january february iso and then north carolina happened because we all collectively forgot that all north carolina does is beat tom iso mich State in March.
Michigan State is 0-6 in the tournament against North Carolina, and it was like a 28-20 game. I read a story where essentially it was a 28-20 game, Michigan State, and Hubert Davis, instead of calling a play during the media timeout, just bitched out everyone in the huddle and was likeuddle it was like you guys don't want this and then they finished the half 41 uh 30 and it was or 31 40 31 and it was just over from there yeah there were like five different teams this weekend that had these types of games where it's like okay if they play like this they're gonna win the title north carolina had a half where it's like they're gonna win the national championship and i'll i'll say for the first time maybe is oh maybe maybe it is over for Izzo because North Carolina, that second half, they just ran the same play over and over and Michigan State just never stopped it.
They just kept on running the same screen down low with Baycott and then they would just hit a three or Baycott would go one-on-one and that was it. Yeah.
That was it. It's always been funny to me that it's January, Februarybruary iso april when you would ideally like your coach to be january february march iso yes because that's when you really have yeah you need to win the fight yeah but he is march but he is got that one win and we got we got fooled for a second yeah yeah the first half was pretty good for michigan state but i i north carolina looks like when they're playing at their best they are one of the five teams that are unbeatable yeah they're very good uh all right other games from saturday arizona is i i was rooting for dayton i wanted i wanted that was the type of team that i wanted to make it but north but arizona they're looking like it's like i look at the bracket right now and i don't know 10 out of the 16 i could conceivably see winning it all they're also fun when they're running yeah getting up and down the court they're one of the funest teams to watch and then hand up um i owe clemson an apology i was not familiar with their game oh yeah that's sunday but yeah yeah yeah up into sunday yeah clemson clemson i'm just saying like they're good i i all of a sudden i think when they announced the bracket i believe we said clemson they stink, they stink.
They shouldn't be in here. Correct.
I would like to retract that statement. Clemson does not stink.
Retroactively, I never said that. We forgot that they played a Mountain West team in the first game, which New Mexico looked like.
I don't know if they practiced before or they didn't even sleep before, but that was one of the worst first-round showings for a team that people were picking. They were favored in that game.
They got absolutely demolished by Clemson. Yeah, and I was high on New Mexico too.
So I completely botched that one. Yes.
That's March, baby. I have a team for you, Max.
Did you hear about this story? I have a team for you to root for because you don't have a team in the tournament okay that team is illinois and their first sweet sweet 16 since 2005 which is a crazy stat because illinois yeah historically has been good but it has been a very rough stretch for them brad underwood has been knocking at that door i think he's an awesome coach i actually have like one of my only non-old takes exposed when they hired him i was like, Brad Underwood is an awesome coach. They're going to win with him.
I know where this is going. Illinois is in the Sweet 16 since the first time in 2005.
There was a story out there that Brad Underwood was trying to – so the last couple of years they've had a team that has not really fit the modern basketball. So have big man a guard his whole goal was we got to find more wings we got to find more guys that are dynamic with the ball his entire starting five's over six six Terrence Shannon is insane he's got over 30 30 and a half points a game in the last six games what are you averaging and uh they also have a guy Damask who's so so good and the story goes they lost the game early in the last six games what are you averaging and uh they also have a guy uh damask who's so so good and the story goes they lost the game early in the season jay wright was calling the game brad underwood had a meeting with jay wright after the game they became friends and jay wright was like hey this guy damask why don't you just do booty ball with him classic villanova booty ball where you just fucking let him get the ball ISO and he

brings people down in the post

like what Jalen Brunson used to do

like all those guys used to do

and that has basically changed the course

of their season and that's how they run their offense

and they're a lot more dynamic now. It opens up

everything for Terrence Shannon. Jay Wright

has helped

coach Illinois to the first Sweet 16

since 2005, Max.

Yeah, no, that's great. I wish he did more for Villanova.
I thought he'd be more excited about this. You wish he had told that to Kyle Neptune.
Correct. Jay Wright is such a good coach.
He's helping Illinois break their 19-year streak of not getting to the Sweet 16. Yeah, no, I saw that.
Villanova Twitter wasn't... I mean...

I'm happy.

Is he a traitor?

My eyes lit up when I saw it.

He's not a traitor.

Turn his back on you.

It's Illinois.

Max.

What if he goes to Kentucky?

He's not going to Kentucky.

Booty ball, Max.

Although I do have a trade in place

for the rights to Jay Wright for John Calipari.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

You would accept that?

Well, yeah, because he's not going to come back. So I'll give up the rights to get...
Do you have his rights? Do you want John Calipari. Oh, okay.
Okay. You would accept that? Well, yeah, because he's not going to come back.
So I'll give up the rights to get John Calipari. Do you have his rights? Do you want John Calipari? Yeah.
We have the rights. Huh? You want John Calipari? Yeah, 100%.
Italian. He would be good in the Big East.
Yeah, keep the Big East Italian. Yeah, I thought you'd be- Put it on a red hat with giant letters.
Keep the Big East Italian. I thought you'd be more excited about this revelation that Bo ball has been brought to Illinois via Jay Wright.
No. Okay.
Also brought to Illinois via your other team, Penn State, because that was part of it was Brad Underwood's son is on the coaching staff, and he's like, Jalen Pickett from Penn State last year did booty ball to us three times, beat us three times. Booty ball can beat anyone.
No, yeah, booty ball is great. I've've seen a lot of guards at Villanova do the booty ball and it's always fun to watch.
Booty ball is great. Yeah.
Because you just see these guards just the other guards just don't know how to defend it. Right.
And Jalen Brunson is like, is 100% when he goes to booty ball. He could literally do that every possession when he was at Nova.
It was awesome. And then we just had shooters everywhere.
So he would just kick out and it would be open. It was booty ball, easy bucket for Brunson, or kick out wide open.
Did he call it booty ball when he was at Villanova? I don't think so. I think booty ball was Coach Underwood's son was calling it booty ball after they got torched by Jalen Pickett at Penn State last year.
It sounds so much better when it's called Booty Ball.

It's great.

Just be like, what are we going to run today?

Booty Ball.

Yeah, use your ass.

And Damask is awesome at Booty Ball.

So Illinois, that is a very big story, the fact that they broke through, and they have

a team that could absolutely beat anyone, especially with the way Terrence Shannon's

playing.

The other weird story I had from Saturday was Bill Self.

Yeah. After losing to Gonzaga, said, for the last month, I've been thinking about next season.
So I was thinking about it. I actually, weirdly, people were roasting him, and my initial inclination was to roast him too.
But Bill Self, the one thing that you can say about Bill Self is he's actually probably too honest in his press conferences and too honest with like the assessment of his team he essentially was like we've been hurt and we are going to bring back a lot of starters next year and when i bring back starters i usually have success and yeah i hate it here or was he saying that um who's who's the guard that's not playing uh mccullers yeah that mccullers like when he was out when he found out to be out for a long time, he was like, well, our season's over.

Yeah.

Just at that point, he's like, I knew it.

And then Hunter Dickinson getting his shoulder torn off.

Yeah, but he is a very honest coach.

Remember, there was a couple years ago when they lost to USC, and he's like, I wish Drake had beaten USC.

Yeah. I knew that USC was going to beat us.

He's very honest, except for the hair.

Although, actually, you know what?

So we've talked about Bill Self's hair a lot on this show over the course of the years.

About a year ago, I started to turn on it, and I'm thinking that it might be real hair.

Yeah, but then you see one shot. I saw one shot yesterday, and I was like, no.
Because I can spot a rug. I don't think it's a rug.
I think he's got a great astroturn. Yeah, so that's what I'm saying.
A lot of people were saying he's got a wig beforehand. No.
I think he got a good surgery done. He got ravaged.
Yeah, he got ravaged. Yeah, ravaged.
Big time. Ravage.
But yeah, Bill Self, people were criticizing for that quote because Gonzaga absolutely torched him, and Mark Few deserves our credit. Nine straight Sweet 16s is insane.
It's hard to win a game in the tournament, and he's won at least two, nine straight years. He's also, the stat is 24 straight March Madnesses, 15 straight first-round wins, nine straight Sweet 16s.
Yeah. Anyone would sign up for that.
Yeah, he doesn't have a title, but you're basically saying to your fans, I will make sure that you guys have that extra week of happiness every single year. That week of happiness is huge.
And not only did they beat Kansas, they destroyed Kansas. Destroyed them.
Played perfect basketball in the second half. Shit pumping.
Yeah. That was a great game.
What other things from Saturday? I mean, Iowa State is very good. Another fun stat to keep your eye on here is the Tennessee-Texas game.
Tennessee made that a lot closer than it had to be because they couldn't shoot worth a goddamn and against texas texas had 19 points in the first half yep against them uh colorado state played texas the game before colorado state had how many points the first half was it 12 11 11 points in the first half 11 who did colorado state play before that virginia uva who had 14 points yeah first half so it's like we said that colorado state caught uva they caught uh what was it cavid 19 yeah uh texas also caught uva from colorado state yes so now is tennessee going to get uvaids against creighton in the next round possibly in the first half. I actually think that if you're a Tennessee fan, that was the perfect way to win because it was the way you always lose.
Like that game, they just went so cold shooting but their defense is so much better this year and their offense is a lot better than it was last year but their defense, they could rely on their defense when their shooting was bad. And that was a game that Tennessee always loses and Rick Barnes always loses where it's like you're up double digits in the second half and what just happened, we just lost this game.
They survived the what just happened, we just lost this game. And you have to do that to win.
Not everyone's going to be like UConn last year where they beat everyone by double digits.

If you win a national title, if you look at every national champion,

there's a couple games mixed in there where you didn't have your best stuff and you just found a way to do it.

This could be that game for Tennessee.

Yeah, their score connect, he sucked.

He was so bad.

So bad.

So bad.

Finally made a three down the stretch, but for most of the game he couldn't score.

They had to rely on Adu and...

And their defense. Yeah, yeah.
Adu and viscovi yeah on defense they're they're legit so um i'm looking forward to that creighton tennessee game yeah and then we had the oregon creighton game which was one of the most electric uh weird games because you had creighton miss every wide open shot and oregon tried to beat a team with two guys kinard and Dante, they took every single shot essentially down the stretch and double overtime just ran out of gas. Yeah, it felt like Oregon was the better team for most of the game.
They were and they just... And then it just kept extending until they ran out of gas until the second overtime.
Yeah. But yeah, yeah.
They tried to win with two guys. I've never seen anything like it.
Like Cousinard, that three he hit at the end of the, what is it, regular? No, second, first overtime was just an insane shot to hit. And they just, every single time down the floor, it was like one of these two guys has to do it, otherwise we're fucked.
And Creighton just outlasted them. Big East, 6-0.
6-0. 6-0.
All right, let's talk some Sunday games. Let me do a quick ad.
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Find all One Bars at a retailer near you or on amazon.com all right sunday we talked about your game that sucked i'm very worried about duke although houston winning makes me less worried but that would duke played a perfect game duke couldn't miss they couldn't miss mccain was on fire it was it was a blowout there was there's no team that can beat duke if they shoot that well yeah the thing is they're probably not going to shoot that well in every other game. But, yeah, it was a blowout from start to finish.
There was no time. At no point during that game did I feel optimistic.
No. No, it actually is crazy to say that, but it's a fact.
The only thing I can hang my hat on is that it wasn't the worst blowout of the weekend. Yeah, who was that? By one point.
Who was that? Well, Houston blew out their first round opponent by a lot. Yeah.
I mean, like in this round, Utah State, Purdue, Utah State was a 39 point victory. Yeah.
Purdue was 38. I got to say, I got to give a lot of credit.
Purdue. They, uh, yeah.
People will be like, oh, they didn't play anyone. They played a 16 seed.
They played a Utah State team that was probably overrated because they didn't play anyone non-con. Purdue deserves credit because Purdue has failed so tragically the last couple of years to get to the Sweet 16 and to do it the way they did it, where they absolutely shit-pumped both the teams along the way.
And Zach Eadie put up just insane, insane stats. Purdue's very good.
I'm a Purdue hater, but I'm also a Purdue realist. They're very good at bats.
So what do you have, 23 or 24 today? And they took him out real early. Yeah, no, real early.
And he was dominant when he was in. He was dominant when he was in the game in their opening against Grambling.
Yeah, he had 23 and 14. Against Grambling, I think he had a double double like with like eight minutes left in the first half yeah so i'm just with 30 and 21 i'll say it produce legit zach ed has 53 points and 35 rebounds through two games also jake on your wild meter where do we have it purdue in the ultimate wild uh their path if everyone wins wins, who's supposed to win, would be they're playing Gonzaga.
They played them in the Maui. They would play Tennessee.
They played them and beat them in the Maui. And then if Marquette, I believe it's Marquette.
Yeah, that would be crazy. Marquette would be the final four game they played and beat them in the maui that's exactly how it went in the maui right so as well to say there was one person like they haven't played anyone it's like they are they could easily their next three games could be games that they have already won on the season also you can't say they haven't played anyone a you don't control that b they earned the number one seed correct so screw those people yes screw them yeah and they could then potentially play illinois again who they beat so yeah the championship well no they beat them they did not beat them in the championship no i'm saying they could meet in the championship yes who they've beaten twice so they've played some really good teams that are all sitting in front of them purdue's a problem zach edie is a problem yeah and.
And yeah, he does get some calls. That's not why they won this game.
They won this game because Purdue was dominant and Zach Eady was really good, even without the refs on his side. But it is, it's confusing to watch.
The refs don't know how to officiate him. Matt Painter had a comment after basically calling out anyone who says Zach Eady's not good at basketball.
I agree with Matt Painter. Anyone who says Zach Edy's not good at basketball is a fucking moron.

The guy's good at basketball,

especially college basketball.

I don't know.

Whatever happens to the NBA

happens to the NBA.

He has put on a lot of muscle,

gotten a lot better

through his years at Purdue.

I've watched it.

He's put in a lot of work.

He's very good at basketball.

I don't love how he's reffed,

but I would never say

Zach Edy's not very good at basketball.

Yeah, he's really good.

Anyone who says

he's not good at basketball,

he's just tall,

is being a hater.

He's also got a great scowl.

This is the first time I was going just tall, is being a hater. He's also got a great scowl.
Very underrated look on his face. When he gets into business time, you can tell and he does the LeBron face where he dips his forehead and looks at you at the top of his eyes.
Yeah. Very intimidating.
There's also probably, the reason why that narrative is out there is there's probably two or three times a game where he is just too tall. Yeah.
Where it's like he'll pick up a rebound, he'll take it literally off the block, and then just not even barely jump and put it back in. You're like, he's too tall.
Yeah, and basketball is always great for that so that us five, eight and a half, five, nine people at home can watch and be like, if I was just as tall as that guy, I would be so good at basketball. Yeah.
Without taking into account the fact that your body would be huge and you wouldn't be able to move as quickly as you do. Correct.
If you got these tiny little Mickey Mouse limbs. Correct.
And he's gotten a lot better and a lot bigger and stronger. Zach Eady confirmed good at basketball.
That was my full say something nice about Purdue. We also had Colorado Marquette, which was one of the best games of the weekend, because that was kind of similar where Colorado has been playing so many games of basketball.
They've been, I don't know, they have six games in the last 12 days or something like that. But Marquette is back with Kolek looking like they could absolutely win the national title.
Kolek, someone said it on Twitter, which was so perfect. Kolek's drive and uh lay up with his left where he kind of does a little bit of body work and then extends his arm and is able to hit it off the backboard is the basketball equivalent of the tush push i don't know how you defend it he's he's the smartest player in the tournament yeah just watching the angles that he takes and like he knows the situation all the time he makes the perfect play even at the end of the game when they were just trying to run the clock out, take as many seconds as he could on each possession, he knew what to do.
He knew when to pass the ball, where to cut in order to take time off so they couldn't foul him. Yeah.
And so they were trying to foul Kolek. Yeah.
And Kolek was just too smart for him getting around. So having that guy running point for you, it's huge.
And I'm that's going to be a good matchup against NC State NC State team of destiny I don't know team of destiny survives Oakland and uh yeah that is going to be that's gonna be a very fun game and then the other two quick games I want to talk about was uh the Alabama Grand Canyon game was one of the most chaotic games I've ever watched of not great basketball. But I think if you're Grand Canyon, great season.
Credit to you. You should just make all your players just walk around with the basketball for the entirety of the offseason.
Because they just holding on to a basketball was a very, very hard thing for them to do. And their players would be doing these crossovers, but they wouldn't actually be doing.
They just be in standing in place but doing crossover dribbles not actually moving side to side just moving the ball from one side of their body to the other and every time they bounce it you thought they were going to bounce it off their own kneecap or their shin it was uh it was out of control and it was it was just hands and arms flying everywhere for 40 minutes and the ball just randomly bouncing out of bounds yeah and then a basket would basket would get scored now and again. And then Alabama running the basketball equivalent of the spread offense.
They're doing some football shit out there. They like to go ISO.
They like to run. And when it works, it's nice, but they also don't play defense.
Yeah, and I've been a critic of Alabama basketball because of our good friend Rico Bosco and his love affair with Nate Oates. They were watching them in the end of the season.
They were soft. They got bullied down low.
That Florida game in the SEC tournament was like Florida just absolutely dominated them with layups and just being stronger than them. Alabama won this game because they were strong rebounding the ball because it was Grand Canyon up three, Alabama comes down, and they basically had two minutes where they were on their side of the court because they went make three throw, miss three throw, free throw, rebound, make free throw, miss free throw, rebound, and won.
Like they were able to out-muscle Grand Canyon. And then Grand Canyon would try to run back down and have the same pace that Alabama has.
They would pull up and take the worst three-point shot that you've ever seen, hit off the front of the rim, Alabama gets the ball, they're back down at the other end. Yeah, so Alabama deserves credit there.
Oh, we forgot one other thing was Iowa State looks really, really good. I want their coach so bad.
He's from Wisconsin. Is he really? Yeah.
He looks like a Wisconsin guy. He looks like a wrestler.
He looks like he's been out in the sun and springtime drinking milk all day. I can tell, too, that that's starting to bother because I've been included on some Twitter threads where Iowa State fans are like, he already has his dream job.
And everyone's like, but he wants to go back. And I'm like, I don't want to get involved in in this, but yeah, I want him.
Yeah, you could get him. What can we do?

You could have him.

Does he want to be the president of Stella Blue Coffee?

Would you make that happen?

Easily.

I've offered that job to way too many people, but that's fine.

Whoever takes it first gets it.

I think I offered it to big T.

Is he the most jacked basketball coach?

Who?

Rick Martin's still coaching.

Yeah.

He's jacked. Buzz is pretty jacked.

Buzz is jacked. Yeah.
Buzz is absolutely jacked. Bruce Pearl, sneaky, kind of jacked.
Barrel-chested. Yeah.
Bruce Pearl went out sad. That Auburn, everyone's bracket got busted with Auburn.
Yeah, it was tough. The analytics darling.
I was tough. Did you know Auburn was top five in both these things? I love the week leading up to the brackets where it's like it's now just TikTok.
You can't go one TikTok or Instagram scroll without some dude being like, I got the perfect formula. Yeah.
Everyone has a formula. Everyone does.
And I believe them all. And every year they're wrong.
Yeah. But yeah, these games are – I'm so excited for next weekend.
What other games did we miss? Houston A&M. Yeah, that was incredible.
I mean, Houston almost – like, that was – the fact that Houston let Texas A&M get to overtime, that would have been an all-time, all-time, all-time March Madness loss. So they had a 99% win probability.
Atlanta Falcons-like win probability with 44 seconds left. I think what A&M was down – was it 12? It was 11 with 148, I think.
11 with 148 left. And then somehow, through the magic of Wade, who just took every shot possible out there, they claw back, get to overtime, and then everyone on Houston fouled out.
Yeah, I mean, Texas A&M had a – Buzz Williams coached a perfect game in the fact that he – from the very first whistle, their entire strategy was go to the hoop on every possession and make them foul you. And they did.
But Shed was too good. I mean, that hop step by Shed where he just – I think he started almost at the three-point line and ended up in the lane for that bucket down the stretch.
He was the only guy left. We had the guy who was sitting on the bench named Elvin.
Elvin came in. Who had to come in and hit a free throw.
Isn't that a name from our D&D quests? Elvin? No, like you can be, that's like elf-like would be Elvin. You can have Elvin features.
Oh, I'm Cake the Elvin Wizard. Yeah, yeah.
Oh, you are? Yeah, yeah. That's Elf.
So like you're Cake the Elf-like Wizard, Elvin. Elvin.
Yeah. That means to have qualities pertaining to an elf.

Yeah.

All right.

Who's going to be mad that we didn't mention them?

UConn's the fucking best.

Yeah.

Okay.

So let's just suck UConn's dick real quick.

UConn is going to win the national championship.

I mean, they're doing the same thing again.

I mean, the San Diego State will be definitely a step up from Northwestern and Stetson.

Yeah.

But I have no... I think they'll kill them.
I want to be very clear. UConn is going to win the national championship, also going to win the national championship.
UNC is going to win the national championship. Arizona is going to win the national championship.
Gonzaga is going to win it. Purdue is going to win the national championship.
NC State's the team of destiny. Marquette's going to win the national championship.

NC State is the team of destiny.

They're probably going to lose at some point.

Houston is a tough out.

I think Houston's going to win the national championship.

And also Duke.

Duke's playing great ball right now.

The way they shot today. Duke's playing great ball right now.

Duke is going to win the national championship.

Purdue also going to win the national championship.

Oh, yeah.

I forgot about Purdue.

Because Virginia lost to Sweet 16.

Purdue's going to win the natty.

It's in the script.

Yep. Creighton's going to...
If Creighton hits their threes, they will probably win the national championship. Tennessee and Rick Barnes.
Actually, the only, to go full circle on this, the only team that's not going to win the national championship is the team we disrespected going into the tournament. Clemson will not win the national championship.
Yeah, zero chance. And now they will.
No, it's no. And now they will.
If that happens, I'll get a cat. Oh, okay.
That's exciting. I'm not going to, yeah.
I think they will just because we said they won't. They're not.
Clemson's not going to win. I'm reverting back to my initial take.
Clemson doesn't deserve to be here. Yeah.
All right, Jake, what do you got for one shining moment or just what announcer did a good job? What was that announcer that I motherfucked on Saturday night? Andrew Catalan. Piece of shit.
No. Wrong.
Piece of shit. Wrong.
Wrong. He called a technical foul.
No, what did he call? Yeah, he called a technical foul, and then he's like, oh, there wasn't. I forget.
Yeah. There's been so many things that I've gotten mad at.
You can't do that. Adam Lefkoe's kind of stealing your swag.
Yeah, but I know him personally. He's a good guy.
He's a good guy. But I'm watching the games.
Yeah, a little bit. And there's been a few times where I'm like, I have to do a second glance because I'm like, is that Big Cat? And it's like, no.
Listen. Wait, it's the fact, like how is he stealing his swag? He looks kind of like my advisors.
Yeah, he's got the. He's got a turtleneck in the.
Yeah. Yeah.
By the way. He kind of looks like me.
Yeah. It's just Lee i don't know if you've if you've heard him talk after uh the the games on tnt are over he says welcome back it's me lefkoe i love that he's a good dude but yeah that's all right uh you know it's like my swag it's like share one name yeah that was my only other yeah that was just my observation over the weekend was yeah but i can i like i like lefkoe we're like long lost brothers brothers.
So he did a good job. Respect.
All right, so Jake, tell us what we missed. Yeah, so Florida, Colorado entering the weekend.
That was the game of the tournament. Walter Clayton.
That was awesome. He was three to tie it at 100.
Yes. And then Colorado hit a jumper to win it 102-100 in regulation.
You never see that in college. That hung on the rim, right? That one? Yeah.
This is fun. This is a trip down memory lane because it's like i watched all these games but i do remember that that one was like the kawaii shot yes exactly same who's that shot against uh i think team was that let's go to the let's go to the next one okay uh yale stuns auburn uh nebraska's tomenaga getting emotional yeah i mean tomenaga thataga, that was the best five minutes that Nebraska basketball has ever played.

And then they got absolutely dog walked.

It's just crazy to me that Nebraska, a school that big,

with such a good athletic department overall,

has never won a tournament game.

Yeah, they never won a tournament game.

It's crazy.

Grand Canyon's win over St. Mary's was dominant.
Yep. That was Friday.
Yep. Dante, you mentioned Alley Oop.
We had a halftime buzzer beater from Clemson today, so more flowers to Clemson. For a halftime buzzer beater? Yeah, halftime buzzer beater.
Just giving out the moments. I'm going to say no flowers for that.
Giving out the moments left and right. Halftime buzzer beater, no.
And then A&M Miracle forces OT. And then what about your one shining moment? That was the best.
Oh, you think Clemson halftime buzzer beater is going to be on one shining moment? Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. It was a deep one.
Was that their signature moment? Because they had the announcer call. What about Oregon's on Thursday? Halftime buzzer beater.
Yeah, I have that. Oh, okay.
What do you have? No, no, no. On Thursday.
Oh. Halftime buzzer beater.
I don't have that. Oh, okay.
Of course OT. Okay.
What do you have? No, no, no. On Thursday.
Oh, no. Halftime buzzer beater.
I don't have that. So not all halftime buzzer beaters are built the same.
Yeah. Okay.
What moment do you have in the JMU-Wisconsin game? I don't know if I have any specific moment. It's probably one of our 75 turnovers.
Yeah, I don't have any specific moment. I'm sure there's going to be something, but it's probably just like you guys hitting a three.
It's probably going to be like Jay and you celebrating after. The guy in the stands yelling at the other guy in the tux? Yeah, what about that guy shutting the fuck up? Yeah.
Okay, yeah, that's good. We could create our own.
How would you grade this tournament, Jake? So I've compared this tournament a lot to the 2019 tournament where Virginia won it all. Also good news for Purdue where it was mostly chalk in the first weekend.
We had all ones and twos advance, which this time I think it's like the fifth or sixth time ever we've had that to the 16. But in that second weekend, we had some crazy games.
Remember that Purdue Tennessee Sweet 16 game? I think Ryan Klein was his name. He dropped like 40.
He like 40 went to overtime I think and then the Elite Eight game was the Virginia Virginia Purdue game yeah with Mamadi Diakite so I like how you said that yeah he was ready correctly and then they won it all so I think we're lining up to have an incredible Sweet 16 and Elite Eight shot it's It's going to be a great week to look at the logos that are playing against each other this upcoming weekend. Because think about it.
If it was UConn-Yale, no disrespect to Yale, it's like, all right. The battle for Connecticut.
Yeah, that would have been a great storyline in Boston. But they would have won by 20.
Yeah, they would have killed them. And they might still beat San Diego State by 20, but at least you have the storyline of the championship rematch and all of that.
How about that Yale big sweater guy? Oh, yeah. Good for him.
He had some huge shoulders. He's on the moment, right, Jake? Yeah.
He's got to be. Yeah, that's a moment.
Got to be. That's for sure a moment.
Also, what did you count? Four. Four.
Underwhelming. Oh.
That part's underwhelming. Not great.
Have we figured out what to call because there was one one of the hoops on thursday yeah the net was too tight the net was so tight that the ball was getting stuck in the net loosen them up but whatever what do you call those i think megan said netters maybe netters be careful with that okay why it't say that one again. Okay.
You pronounce things very well, but just to be safe. Oh, oh.
Yeah, just to be safe. That's a good list, though, Jake.
It's been a fun tournament. I'm excited for this week.
Yeah, definitely not the most chaotic opening weekend we've seen. But still, the Kentucky game.
Yeah, 100%. Kentucky's got to look at this Sweet 16 and be like, all our old friends are there.
It's still the best. Yeah, we're not.
Yeah, tough day for Kentucky. Yeah.
Seeing that. Kentucky and Kansas.
Kansas won it all two years ago. Yeah.
And Bill Self was worried about next year. Yeah, put me down, actually.
I want to do a future on Kansas for next season. No, I actually.
Bill Self's already looking ahead. ready for this uh Kansas might return four starters next year here's how Bill Self did when that happens uh 21-22 national champions 15-16 number one overall seed uh 0-9-0-10 or 10 number one overall seed 0-7-0-8 national champs 0-6-0-7 number one overall see i'm bill self is thinking about next year so i'm thinking about next year yeah next year this was the sea they're going to be a really good team next year this was the season before the season for kansas yes there was a person online pranav sreeman that asked uh an interesting question that i thought i bring up to embrace debate here they said who's the worst worst NBA player that could lead the worst team in the tournament to the final? Oh.
Like, who's the worst NBA player that could take – who's the worst team in the tournament? To the final? Yeah, or to win the championship. Who's the worst team? I think it was Stetson or Howard.
Or UVA? Yeah. Yeah, UVA.
Who's the worst player in the NBA that you could put on UVA and have them win the national championship? I think I know my answer. Because there's only maybe like three or four guys.
Oh, I think there's way more than that. That could take the worst team and beat every other team with that.
I don't know. NBA players are so much better than college football players.
It's insane. Sam Hauser? Yeah, probably.
Think thing about it, he's the best player, and they're saying he's going to be a, what, fringe first rounder? Yeah. I don't know if even that, yeah.
And he's the best player right now. Campaign.
You think campaign could lead UVA? I do too, just off the title. Just based off vibes.
Bobby Portis? No, you need to be like a – Well, Virginia would be be a scorer wing. Ultimate test because it's such a weird system to play in.
I think you lean into it. You lean into the defensive pressure.
St. Hauser would be good.
But wait, there's got to be more than four. I mean, Luka, Tatum, LeBron, probably Anthony Davis, Jokic.
If you want to lean into the UVA-ness of it all put Pat Bev on that team yeah I mean imagine Embiid playing college basketball it would be Wilt there's so many guys that would just dominate Wimby nobody could stop Wimby there's not a team in college basketball right now that could do a god damn thing goddamn thing about victor women yama someone did say something very mean whether like zach edie is exactly like victor women yama minus like the shot making the versatility the handles the speed the skill that was mean this the tallness is there the tallness is you can't Yeah, no, I think there's a lot. I mean, it's not.
I think it's more than 15 or 20. Kawhi would dominate.
I was thinking about Kawhi earlier, but he would dominate for sure. But could you just rely on him to single-handedly win every game? I don't know how anyone would you have to triple, triple team him.
Steph? Steph almost did it with Davidson.

But Steph doesn't count because he's one of the best players in the NBA that could do it.

Yeah, no, I'm just saying there's – you said there's only four players that could do it?

I think there's, like, four.

I think there's, like, five.

20-plus easy.

I mean, the NBA is way better.

I know that.

Yeah.

I just – all these guys thinking about it.

Oh, Giannis.

Giannis would be a problem.

Giannis would be a fucking –

He'd be a problem.

He would dominate everyone. It would be a joke watching it.
Oh, Giannis would be a problem. Giannis would be a fucking...
He'd be a problem. He would dominate everyone.

It would be a joke watching it.

I'd like to see that.

Yeah.

I mean, yeah, I just think...

Because then what do you do?

You put like three guys on them,

and then you just have everyone else stand around and shoot.

Think of it, this Jimmer almost did it by himself.

Yeah, yeah.

And he sucked.

Yeah, but he was good. point Golke be Kentucky yeah yeah it's a great point yeah I I think you could I think you put a lot of guys on UVA and they would fuck everyone up pretty bad especially because UVA could actually play defense so then you just add one more defensive like stopper no one would on him, and then you just have that one guy score all the points.
Yeah, I think UVA is probably the wrong example to use for that one. Yeah.
But, like, Longwood. Still.
You put LeBron on Longwood, and they're in the final four, for sure. And it'll be so much fun.
I don't know if LeBron can play college ball. That's why the coolest thing LeBron could have ever done for his career is just go to Akron for one year and just be like, how deep could we take? It would have been perfect just so that we could know.
So we could know the answer to that question. Yeah, and it would also be great if we should just do a tournament like this.
Someone should fund this tournament where every team that's in the tournament, we just replay the tournament again, but everyone gets to add an NBA player. Yeah, Adam Silver, you get all your ideas from the internet.
Here's a good one. Make it legal for NBA players to go and play one season in college after they've been in the league for like 10 years.
Yeah, it's my rule of bringing a graduate back. No, not even that.
Yeah, yeah. It's a different rule because the guy goes straight to the NBA, and then they get to choose what college they want to play for one one season yeah but it would be it would be sick yeah be awesome to watch uh okay anything else hank you enjoy it i feel like you were you have a good time i had a good time uh my mega max lock purdue was a miraculous backdoor cover yeah so that was fun saturday night was fun sunday wasn't as fun but i still have fun you see that's the thing i'm excited for a good to succeed matchups and i hope we get a good final four i i maybe it's just because march madness is something that is so uh ingrained in my head that i lose money no matter what that

like when people are like oh all you care about is your bets you you decide if it's fun if you

win or lose i had i lost all my bets i had a lot of fun like i enjoyed watching basketball for four

days i enjoy the moments.

None of it ended up good for me.

I also lost my job Friday night, so that wasn't as fun.

No, you didn't.

You got fired?

You did for a second.

And then you kept showing up?

I was over on the precipice.

You Monson'd it?

He just kept on asking me the same question.

I gave him the same answer over and over and over.

What was the question?

He was just like, will you be mad if I go hard?

And I was like, yes, I care a lot about

my team. So wait, so

did Hank at any point go hard?

No, because we

figured it out

that it would not make sense.

I was like, everyone wants to tune in to watch me

die. I will die and

it will be tortured and I'm going to

die. And then I died and was tortured.

Everyone watched me. Biz was Biz

obviously, you know, golden retriever.

He's like, what are we taking? I was like, I think a lot of people are taking JMU. And that set Big Cat off.
Well, Hank also touched me and was like, did the DraftKings huddle up and was like, what do we think about JMU, guys? And touched me. He is touchy.
He touches me, and it's a technical foul. I wanted that on the record technical foul.
If he touches me, he's been touching me a lot. Yeah.
Hank gets non-consensual touching should not be allowed in that setting. He gets very feely.
Yeah. Max, is it okay that I kissed you on Friday? Yeah, it was good.
Okay. Good at you.
Game time. Yeah.
Max just had a fucking vacation weekend. Well, no.
He died on the company. Max was working hard, working hard, got some great clips out there.
That was my lowest moment when I was just like, Max just fucking burns our money going to New York. It was $300 for the entire weekend.
I said it was my lowest moment. No one was even listening to me when I said it.
I was appalled. What were you appalled about? I thought Max did a great job.
He did do a great job. I love Max.
Can I do a quick PSA? Because I was just thinking about the game. Love seeing the fans out in public.
If you're an AWL, love saying hi to you. Love taking pictures, all that stuff.
One small request, though. If I'm actually peeing and my penis is out and I'm at a urinal, can we wait for like 15 seconds?

I disagree.

It's a Friday night March Madness game.

I think that's all bets are off.

Yeah, I just...

Yeah, okay.

I think they get to touch it if they want.

You don't even let him touch your arm.

Take that back.

Everyone's going to start grabbing our dick.

No, we don't do that. We don't do that we don't do that we're getting our dicks grabbed well okay so it's not it's not don't do that it's not for me but it's for the other three guys that were standing next to me also taking a piss and there's a guy just with his camera out being like pft take a picture and then the three guys are like yeah you're taking a picture of me while i'm pissing yeah's fair that's a fair i think that's a fair request that's a fair request if i'm shitting and you put your phone over the top of the stall and get a picture of me that's one because that's just me yeah it's everybody else yeah it's fair request you you agree yes what's up hank what's wrong just losing today no i'm good hank's not good he's good.
Hank, you're hiding something. I can always tell.
What's on your mind, Hank? There's nothing on my mind. What's wrong? Come on.
You're on the psychiatrist's couch over there. Nothing.
What's wrong? No, there's something. There's something wrong.
Are you talking to Tiff right now? Are you talking to Tiff? I've been talking to Tiff. Ben.
Whoa. What is wrong, though? There's nothing wrong.
No, there's something on your mind, though, that you haven't said. There's nothing wrong.
Are you still scared of Big Cat? I'm focused. I'm not scared of Big Cat.
We came back together yesterday. I literally saw him one second.
I was like, I'm sorry. I think he's scared.
No. I think he's scared.
I took my medicine earlier. That's usually what it is at the time of this situation.
All right. Never mind.
Then nothing is wrong. Then nothing is wrong.
Yeah. Yeah.
He's medicine does. I'm focused.
I'm very focused'm very focused something's wrong no i don't think so that explains it all that that's the conversation he's very pretty much every time when i when i came that is true every time you take your medicine we're like dude what what's fucking wrong with you and you're like nothing i took the medication i'm prescribed to take and we're like oh okay yeah when hank's healthy, what the fuck? It really does go like that. Well, it's like, yeah, usually I have ADHD, and I'll say things or be a little more outgoing, and then when I take my medicine, I'm just quiet.
Yeah, and then we're like, what the fuck's wrong with you? Yeah, actually, I did. And the resting anger face, that's where it gets me.
My perfect Hank is when he hasn't slept for like three days, and he just has no idea what's coming out of his mouth and just lets it fly yeah I like that person my perfect Hank is after he does comedy yeah yeah all the way to the world office yeah feeling like a new man there was a moment when I came into the office on on Saturday when we were starting the stream I came straight from the airport and I got in the door and uh it was like a morgue in the office because the the mood from last night on friday was apparently well we lost everything and then i lost everything yeah it was bad we we could not have i don't think anyone won a single thing on friday well actually you did yeah jay mule fridel but no it was we went and purdue no No, Purdue Friday. I was runningM.U.
Friedel. No, it was – And Purdue.

No, Purdue Friday.

I was running high.

Purdue – We went –

That Purdue cover was –

I don't think anyone else really had it.

It was, for me, miraculous.

Just when it was a walk-on, guy that never plays,

hit a three when it didn't matter.

Yeah.

We went back-to-back on Friday night where we got all whooped up for Will in nebraska what do you mean whooped up like everyone was like let's go nebraska like let's do this and then it was just did you so bad did you bet on nebraska yes just for will yes literally i was like all week i was like i think texas am's a better team they're gonna win this game yes and i was like you know what i i said the quote and i'll say it again and i actually believe this i will never be someone who wins money gambling i have to be rich in friends so like that's that was my whole plan was like i'm not winners are never gonna happen for me friendship is more important so i was i'd fucking put on a fucking headband and i was like let's do it and then it just fell flat so fast yeah that sounds so sounds like bad vibes there. I'm actually glad I wasn't there on Friday because it would have been weird if everybody was losing everything and then I'm just like the happiest I've ever been watching a basketball game.
Yeah, yeah. It was tough.
It was tough. But that's March and I bounced back a day later.
I was back here just doing the thing. But yeah, it just sucks.
It's i wish i wish i didn't care as much as i cared i am jealous of people who can compartmentalize and not let it bother them i care a lot and it just fucking sucks i mean you were like you today you were you were down yeah i was down but also in the grand scheme of things house money yeah well you gotta win did not expect to be there Got a big win. Probably the biggest in program history.
And got to see it. So I was feeling good.
I was feeling good. I'll feel better tomorrow.
Now I'm a little bit down. But in the grand scheme of things, it's like this was a good march for me.
Yeah. When Hank loses, he ruins the show.
He doesn't talk. He ruins the show.
I mean, everyone deals with their losses different ways. Hank, are you okay? I'm good.
You're also a big cat. I mean, unfortunately.
Oh, here it comes. Here it comes.
All right. Here it comes.
Let's go, Hank. Finally.
There was a point when you were lashing out and you were like, fuck everyone that's texting me. Fuck you, Max Homa.
Yeah. Fuck you, Khan.
Well, these people were texting me. I would never do this.
Wait. You do that all the time.
No, I don't. When have I done that? When have I texted you right after a lot? We have to do a show.
Oh, no, Hank. We have to do a show.
We have to do a show. How many times have you texted that? Oh, no.
Wait, a regular season game? That's with Max. It does happen all the time, but only to Max.
But are we talking about playoffs? Because first of all, we're watching playoffs together. But if it's a Celtics game, if the Celtics blew.
In the playoffs i've done that i've texted you yeah i don't know specifically i don't think that's true i do not think that's true and i also don't text random people like you and i are like our relationship different than fucking spencer haws who i haven't talked to in a year just texting me out of nowhere talking shit that's a weird move captain cons i'm not gonna talk to him for a year uh you text someone that you don't like talk to regularly okay but wait in the middle of a bad loss i would be that big i do not i'm not sure i'm not sure if he also texted you individually but he texted the group chat that we're on where he no he added frank kaminsky where he says things about part of my take i understand but he added frank kaminsky and he started a new group chat group chat. When someone's losing in the middle of a game, I do not text them in the middle of the game a person I don't talk to.
Is that not? That's fair. Do I do that? I don't talk.
I was listing people who I don't talk to regularly. Rusillo tried.
And they just started. Rusillo tried to face.
I do not. In the middle.
This was in the middle of that. And it's.
And I was like, I was like, Ryan, hang up your phone. Like, please don't FaceTime right now.
He's like, he's not going to pick up. Like, like even the Stanford Steve's SUP thing.
That's a regular season game. If someone wanted to talk shit during a regular season game, I don't care.
Scott, when Scott texted me after Maryland beats Wisconsin, I don't care. A tournament game, it sucked.

It sucked a lot.

I didn't want to respond.

Also, I didn't want to respond to something mean.

I just didn't respond.

There is a Max exception because those texts do happen strictly with Max.

Yeah, that's probably fair.

But you do that.

You do that.

Yeah, I do.

Yeah, for sure.

But would you ever text someone who you don't talk to regularly during a bad loss talking shit that is a crazy move to me if it was like a friend like if i yeah if it was a friend that that's a crazy maybe haven't talked to in a year but like yeah time was right i might still i think that's a crazy move and like twitter's totally different because you can just not look at twitter like i know i'm gonna get shit on twitter who cares about twitter the text feels personal when someone texts you in the middle of a torture like if i have a i have a friend that went to virginia tech that like we don't talk day to day but you would do that i don't think i would i would wait a day and then i would talk shit did you text matt jones from kentucky during the loss. No.
Okay. Fuck no.
That would be crazy.

Circumstance. did you text matt jones from kentucky during the loss no okay fuck no that would be crazy circumstantially i'm not gonna say i wouldn't because i i guess maybe i i don't know i just can't think of the time where i've done that to someone i don't regularly talk to the only exception being if my team's playing their team if so if like if bft texts me that's totally fine if it's like that's that makes sense if your team is involved but like third party out of nowhere texted i haven't talked to this person in months i'm like i'm not responding to that yeah i didn't do i didn't like i wasn't like i responded fuck you don't ever talk to me again i'm just not responding yeah would you respond to that would you text someone you don't talk to i i well so morty texted me during this game but he's a Duke fan.
Right. And then I was just like, I don't want to.
That's kind of expected. Yeah, you lashed out.
Yeah. I just said, why is he texting me? I don't want to respond to this.
But no, if your team's playing the other person's team, I think that's totally fair. But yeah, we should just clarify that with Max.
That's fine. Max does not apply to these rules.
Yeah. Max, what would you do? We get 90% of our joy on this podcast out of doing that exact thing to Max.
Would you text a random person you haven't talked to in a while? And again, it's not like I hate these people. I'm just not going to respond.
There's one kid in particular that I'm thinking of that I would. So it sounds like everyone has one.
Mine's Max. But it sounds like you're a lot of people's one person.
Well, yeah. I know it's coming when when like the twitter like when everyone shits on my throat i know it's coming i can deal with it it's the text just feels personal so i'm just not gonna respond when homa texted us i i just wanted to respond to be polite but i did not expect you to respond to it yeah i also will i will text someone during loss being like you're getting screwed both of you changed it as well.
Because it's part of my tape podcast thing. I got the joke.
I'll text someone consoling them. When Ohio State lost that game in the Big Ten Championship, I texted him an hour later.
I was like, the foul discrepancy is insane. You guys got fucked.
Actually, this was a funny text from Max Oma. This is to me and Big Cat at 9.30 on Friday.
I thought it was kind of vanilla.

Hey, just wanted to let you know I'm watching the game

and I'm rooting for your team.

I know he'll be bad, but that makes it even better.

Oh, shoot, I didn't mean to send this to both of you guys.

That's like, all right.

I mean, you do that all the time.

Yeah, I know.

With Rico, yeah.

But yeah.

All right, so that's what was on your, what else? What else are you mad at me for? Not that. It seems like you're very mad.
I wasn't. I get it.
That was my only note. My only note, we did come to...
We had a long conversation before. The outburst was pregame, which I thought were still within the lines of...
Yeah, I thought that Hank did something like... In the laws of engagement.
No, he just asked me over and over in the kitchen,

will you be mad if I go really hard?

And I said yes over and over.

And then he asked me a different way and I'd say yes.

And it was like we had the same conversation

for maybe 20 minutes where I was like,

I don't know how I can answer this differently

than I care a lot.

I really want to win this game.

So you got pre-mad at him.

Well, because it was like I was talking to...

He was just basically going to ask the question until I was like, you know what? I don't care. But it was never going to happen.
But the irony in this is that Big Cat did actually get mad at you for asking him if he would get mad at you. Because he asked me so many times.
You asked him if he would get mad too many times. So many times that it was like, I can't, there's nothing I can do here.
We're not going to ever see you die. But that was months ago at this point.
Yeah. True.
I moved on when I saw you. I was like, I can't be mad at you.
I saw your face. Chewed ass face on Saturday morning.
Oh, so you went to bed mad. I went to bed in the worst mood ever.
You can't, you never go to bed mad. I went to, it's like, I feel like I'm pretty good for a really, really bad mood for about 12 hours after a bad loss and then i can move on isn't that not fair can we all agree that's fair yeah that's that's a it feels like it's a fair thing to do 12 hours 24 hours i mean hank you are in a bad mood when you lose yeah obviously yeah right that's not yeah that's natural we just have to sometimes get on here and talk about it like i would have it would i would have talked about on friday night if we had the show and it would have been similar we suck it would have been it would have been a bad show if we'd done that i thought about hitting you guys up and be like time capsule so we record it would have been the same thing it would have just been we suck that sucked it was torture no but i would have been so happy yeah well you still were happy today you i was i came in happy i woke up happy this morning yeah you were happy yesterday i was happy i got all your happiness i've been happy for the last week and a half sports has made me happy every day for the last week and a half and now sports has made me sad not me everything sucks everything fucking sucks i feel like max Max I would have rather had max his way out the nit would have been way better no one gives a fuck wisconsin went to the final four of the nit last year no one gave a fuck so much better to not have like a very public everyone's watching your failure and the friday night time slot is the worst because you had to

wait for you have to wait and then and then it's like all everyone thinks about after the first

the the conclusion of the first round is that and everyone's like man that was bad yeah i just sat

there with it or if you're good you're like man that yeah no it's great and then you do something

dumb like uh put a bet on jmu to win the national championship right afterwards yeah i did get one

guy one email from now i have to look at that future for the rest of the tournament that's

Thank you. And then you do something dumb like put a bet on JMU to win the national championship right afterwards.
Yeah. I did get one guy, one email from a guy.
Now I have to look at that future for the rest of the tournament. That's brutal.
Because it doesn't cash out or it doesn't cancel out until, yeah. I got an email from one guy who was like, the Badgers suck and I hope you die and your kids die.
And I was like, that felt a little far. But everyone else was totally fair to just shit on me.
I deserved it. My team was an embarrassment to watch.
And I'm sorry that people had to watch it. That's how bad I felt.
When you have to say sorry to – We were watching in the cave. I had to move it to the little TV.
Yeah. Because I was like, I don't want you guys to have to watch this anymore.
Yeah, we did that today with the Duke JMU game too. It was bad.
It's embarrassing. It was bad.
All right, so it seems like we're good, Hank. You were holding that in for a long time.
I wasn't. You got it out.
Yeah, I could tell that something – Yeah, no, I could too. I mean, that's just not true, but we're good.
Yeah. And now we're on to bigger and better things.
You got your beloved Duke. Yeah, now you're Duke.
Now you're Duke. Duke.
I want Duke-y Hank back. Hank's just taking off a series of masks in the first one.
He's just ripped off the JMU mask. I'm a Duke fan all along.
Duke Hank is electric. Let's go to the final four, Duke Hank.
Fuck yeah. Get the jumpsuit back.
I actually got rid of my Duke stuff when I moved. I had one sweatshirt left and it didn't make the cut.
I think that if Duke loses to Houston, you should have to jump in that pool. And put a new hole in her.
And then run to the shower. I'm going to Dallas, but we'll see.
Yeah. You're going to Dallas, buddy.
You got to jump in the pool and then run through the house to the shower and try not to fall. You have a tea time in Dallas? Here.
It's going to be like 70 degrees. No, tea time means like Tiffany.
It's an abbreviation. He's got tea time.
Yeah.. Yeah, it did snow.
That was the other thing. It snowed on Friday here, and I was just like, I woke up, and I was like, fucking Hank.
Yeah. But he's right.
It's been a mild winter. He has called it.
All right, let's do Who's Back of the Week, and then we'll get to our interviews. No Bull is known for their best-in-class, award-winning footwear with options across training and lifestyle.
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Who's back of the week, Hank? My who's back of the week is Rat Beef. Rat Beef or Rat Beef? Rat Beef.
Rat Beef. Rat Beef.
I'm sure you guys are caught up. I'm very interested to hear whose side you're on between future, Kendrick Lamar, J.
Cole, Drake. Say it again.
Give us our options again. Future, Kendrick Lamar.
Metro Boomin. Metro Boomin.
Drake, J. Cole.
I think I'm on Drake's side. I like Metro Boomin.
Is that right? I mean, it's, you know, it's... What's the beef? Dealer's choice.
Okay. Which side are you on? I think I'm on Future and Kendrick.
Oh, so it's 2v2? Shit, I should have said Future. I think it's really 2v1.
So Future and Metro Woman released an album that was basically all a response to Drake. And there was a song that Kendrick Lamar was featured on where he took direct shots at Drake.
So it's kind of, you know, it's a Civil War situation. There's obviously interpersonal beefs in between the big beef, but...
Drake is the big beef. It's basically Future and Metro Boomin versus Drake.
I've seen the video. Got it.
Apparently it's over a girl, but who knows. Wait, so I picked future by picturing, pitching, picking Metro Boomin.
Okay. So you got two for one.
Yeah. All right.
Whose side are you on? He said future. Metro Boomin.
Metro Boomin. Okay.
Yeah. Yeah.
All right. I'm glad we got to the bottom of that.
I now feel confident knowing that I can walk around and if someone asks me this question, I'm like, future. Drake.
Whoa. Damn, dude.
Podcast divided. Is this the start? Hank, be careful who you root for.
Be careful. Hank, don't you fucking root for future in front of me.
Be careful. You don't care about future.
Be careful. My who's back of the week is Dosa Cero.
The U.S. men's national team won the, I think it's a three-peat for us, in the CONCACAF Nations League Cup Final Trophy.
I don't know, it's a made-up tournament that CONCACAF made up, but we beat Mexico 2-0, which is always awesome when we beat them 2-0. So our team's really fucking good.
Our team's awesome. Tyler Adams is good.
Our coach is a shithead. Gio Reign is awesome, too.
We got a really good team. I'm still – I'm still in my prediction that we need to make it – if we don't make it to at least the quarterfinals in the next World Cup, massive disappointment.
Is there soccer in the Olympics? Yeah. Yeah, there is.
I don't know. Sure.
Yeah. No one really cares about it.
What tournament was this? It was the Nations League Final Cup Trophy CONCACAF. No thanks.
Yeah. No, it was...
But USA winning Dos Acero was always good against Mexico. Yeah, I just...
What, say it again? Dos Acero. No, no, no.
I know that part. The Trophy of the CONCACAF League of Nations Final.
If it's more than like four words, I'm out. I think the actual name for it is the CONCAC calf nations league cup yeah anyways it's a made up it's a made up tournament that sounds so made a few years ago because that's what conca calf does just get more tv stuff but we beat mexico i like beating mexico and our young guys look awesome we had probably the goal of the year from tyler adams he shot one from like 35 yards out.
Fucking knuckleball rocket. It was great.

Whole of the year.

I'm buying stock.

We're only in March.

I'm buying stock.

I'm buying stock in the national team.

Okay, my Who's Back of the Week is Caitlin Clark.

We had the women's tournament start,

and I am so excited for Caitlin Clark in Iowa

to keep advancing because it's getting nuclear.

Caitlin Clark headbutted a ball.

A ball?

Yeah.

People were like, what a brat.

Disgusting.

I was like, what?

I don't know. to keep advancing because it's getting nuclear.
Caitlin Clark headbutted a ball. A ball?

Yeah.

People were like, what a brat.

Disgusting.

I was like, what?

How is that a brat?

She was frustrated.

Did she headbutt it out of frustration?

It was out of frustration.

They were struggling with Holy Cross.

They were up like 20.

Was she mad at the ball?

It's gotten to a point where I don't even know

how people have found this much hate in their heart for someone. Again, I like it though.
Yeah, no, I do too, but it's out of control. Yeah.
I love it. It's out of control.
I actually love it. I love it when you can hate a female athlete enough to have takes on it for her.
Yeah. She has like Duke times 10 hate.
Yeah. It's crazy.
Also, women's tournament, because Kim Mulkey did a press conference saying she's got a hit piece going against her, but it's not out yet. So it was an interesting strategy on her part.
No idea what the article is going to be about. But I want to read it now.
Now I want to read it. Oh, yeah.
I did not care about this article until I heard about it, because Kim Mulkey did a press conference to talk about how no one should read the article that's going to come out i would agree with that interesting strategy kim yeah did you guys see the story from uh the referee

in chattanooga versus nc state women yeah yeah that was crazy they pulled the ref at halftime

because they realized that she went to school to chat at chattanooga yeah she got her master's

there right yeah and you're supposed to disclose it and she didn't disclose it before it's just

crazy they pulled her in the middle of the game yeah Yeah. That's a win for integrity, though.
Absolutely. I wonder who found out about that.
You know what? I bet it was somebody online. I bet somebody online, like a real freak, a real diehard fan, was like, this ref has given us the worst calls.
I'm going to look up her bio. And then they're like, oh, shit oh shit she actually went to that school i bet it was like a golf thing where they called in the violation and they took action yeah i don't know who alerted who in the middle of the game but it happened respect oh also um donald trump's back because he won another club championship this weekend yeah i just saw dude's the best golfer of all time deep field deep field uh some of the it was aing field, he said.
I actually respect the fuck out of him just having tournaments that he wins because I would do the same thing. Yeah.
If I had my own club, I would just be like, yeah, let's all play and I'm going to win. I won again.
And I want everyone to do a gala for me after where I get my trophy. I think he won a couple days ago, but now he's doing a big ceremony tonight, presenting himself with a trophy.

That rocks.

Yeah, if you have a fuckload of money and you don't do stuff like that, you either have to own a sports team or you have to constantly dominate your friends at sports where you get to decide the rules. I've said this before, but our old friend Jared Karabas, if I was a billionaire, I'd build a uh i'd build a baseball field in my backyard and i would have i would pay him a million dollars where he had to pitch to me like whenever i wanted just call him up like you gotta come pitch to me but he had to fucking let me just hit dingers off him so every day i could just be like i want to hit a few dingers call him up and he's got to give me just the the worst and he's got to act like he's upset and like god damn it not again but wait big cat at the stadium that you would build would you pay for your own fucking stadium i would pay for my own fucking stadium it'd be so sick it'd probably be wiffle ball if i'm being honest oh i love wiffle ball fields that look like that look like major league baseball fields yeah if we're being honest it would be a wiffle field for sure uh all right jake who's back.
My who's back of the week is Michigan basketball. Yes.
We have the coaching carousel begin, and recurring guest Dusty May is going from FAU to Ann Arbor. People thought he was going to go to Indiana.
He's an Indiana boy. Wouldn't it be so confusing if Dusty May, like he was a new Tom Izzo, so it was January, February, May, April, May.
We sleep in May. Yeah, we sleep in May.
John Rothstein's for sure going to do that. Rothstein was almost on the court.
Yeah. Rothstein was playing defense against the inbound guy.
Yeah. I got comment from our colleague, White Boy Rick, who's an Indiana fan because Indiana fans, I think Dusty May was on their list.
Because he's a loser, right? Yeah. I think he was a manager on one of the Bobby Knight teams, maybe.
Yeah, I think so. In the last ones.
Either way, I asked him for comment, and he said, because I was like, oh, that sucks. You probably had Dusty May on your list if you had fired Mike Woodson.
He had a great response. He said, no, this is good.
He's going to prove that he can win with the big boys. Then he'll take the Indiana job.
Which is an even bigger boy. So Michigan's just stepping stone for indiana yeah yeah i love that i love the indiana delusion he's gonna go he's gonna win a couple big 10 titles what beating indiana and then he's gonna be like i want to join indiana well that's what brad stevens is doing he he got to the nba learned how to coach in the nba then he transitioned to front office so he learns how to assemble a great team right and now that he's got like a full 360 degree view of how to actually run an operation then he transitioned to front office, so he learns how to assemble a great team.
Right. And now that he's got like a full 360-degree view

of how to actually run an operation,

then he'll come back to Indiana eventually.

Right, right.

With Dusty May, I was thinking about this

when they announced the hiring.

Is he automatically a Michigan man?

Well, Dave tweeted Michigan man.

Do you have to prove yourself?

Do you have to do something Michigan-like?

No, he's also probably not tall enough to be a Michigan, if we're being honest.

Michigan men are usually tall, yeah.

They're Harbaugh-like.

Okay.

Yeah.

So football and basketball for Michigan.

Dave is not a Michigan man.

He's probably not tall enough.

Real Michigan men.

You have to earn your man.

Like strong stock.

I'll never be a Michigan man.

You'll never be a Michigan man.

I don't want to be a Michigan man. I think they're going to back quickly Yeah no he's a great coach Is he going to bring Golden with him? Yeah all those guys still have eligibility So it would be interesting to see if he brings any of those guys From FAU from Boca to Ann Arbor Yeah I would not go I'll just say that if I was Golden And I'd be like do I want to move to Michigan And away from the beach? No.
Counterpoint, he could become a Michigan man. He is a Michigan.
He's tall enough. He could be a Michigan man for life.
I'd rather be a Florida man. Florida men have way more fun.
Yeah. Get to do way better drugs in Florida.
All right. Let's get to our interviews.
We've got two great ones with Jack Golke and DJ Burns. And then the other side, we'll wrap up the show.
Maybe we'll talk about the coach's picture real quick because I still have to do that blog. Let's do it.
Give me some help. Hey, it's Rhea from Chicks in the Office.
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It's a little more flirty and it's perfect for date night make plans to go out in abercrombie shop their newest arrivals in store and online okay we now welcome on a very special guest he captured the hearts of america for about 48 hours it is uh jack colkey from oakland who had the huge upset on thursday night at kentucky lost in overtime on saturday night which we apologize for we were pulling for you very very hard jack but we still wanted to have you on because i we'll start here and you can tell me if this is wrong or not but you were built in a lab to be the perfect march madness guy like? Like the, the look, the team, the beating Kentucky, the fact that literally every shot you take is a made three. Uh, did you know that going in? You're like, if I have a good game, like I'm going to, I'm going to just take over the country for a day.
Uh, well, first off, thanks for having me on guys. This is awesome.
Um, but I mean, yeah, I guess looking back on it, I didn't really expect expect that or think about it that way but now that you kind of lay it all out and i mean you see all the memes and all the just everything going around i would have never expected all that but it all kind of just fit together like you said and um yeah i guess the story just it was just too perfect and people saying it's an industry plant and all that stuff is just crazy.

The CIA op, yeah.

You were. You're an industry plant.

And you know what? I enjoyed every second of the CIA op.

I really did. I got caught up in Golky mania.

Yeah.

They finally did something right.

The stat that was going viral was your breakdown of three-point attempts

to two-point attempts this season.

So you attempted eight two-point shots all year long. Do you even practice mid-range? So I tell my teammates this year, I'm like, hey, guys, I used to shoot twos.
I used to make a couple twos a game, but they just do not believe me. Ever since the year started, Coach Campy just kind of set me up as the three-point specialist.
And to be honest, this whole season I really haven't gone in the gym and shot many twos. It's pretty much just get in there, get a couple form shots, and then start launching threes.
So does that mess with your foul shooting at all? Because I've always thought if a guy's a three-point specialist at some point he's not working on mid-range games, so that could impact you from the foul line. We were actually saying that you should take your foul shots from the very, very top of the key, like back up five feet.
I definitely should, man. I mean, this was my worst free throw shooting year in a long time, so something was definitely up.
Maybe I should have just been shooting them from half court or something. You're too close you were too close so going back to thursday night because it was it was an incredible game taking down kentucky i the way i put it is like you know all those kentucky guys are gonna a lot of them are gonna go on to be pros make millions and millions of dollars but you basically you and your teammates can be like yeah we had them one night we took it we took them down one night and that's one the coolest things.
That's why we love this tournament. At what point in the game, though, were you guys like, wait, we can play with them? This is not going to be a game where they can just overpower us.
Yeah, I think the first couple minutes of the game, they did a really good job of kind of imposing their will as Kentucky, as like a power five school, where they just kind of fed the ball inside and and got a couple quick buckets on us but i think it was probably like the third media timeout so like about halfway through the first half where we might have been tied or or down one something like that and we're just like hey if we've hung with them for 10 minutes like we might as well just go out here and do this thing like yeah let's just go do it let's shock the nation and have some fun with it. And we kind of just ran with it from there.
Yeah, were you at any point, did you feel at any point that you were in the zone? Because it felt like that. Because some of the shots you were making were ridiculous, where it's like no one should be shooting this, like falling away, hand in the face, being, you know, guys trying to run after you.
Did you feel like you had reached the zone at any point? Yeah, it was just a classic game for me if for anyone who's like watched my career they know I miss open threes and I make the hardest threes yes and I don't know why that is but uh I yeah I there was a time in the first half I think I made like three or four in a row and a couple of them I kind of threw up and didn't even see them go in I kind of thought they were bricks and then everyone was just like cheering and I was like okay I'll take it like yeah that's incredible did you know you're gonna be wet before the game like in warm-ups were you like yeah tonight's tonight's the night uh I was feeling good yeah uh a couple of the Kentucky guys were chirping me a little bit in warm-ups because of some comments I made in the in the pre-game interview so at that point I was like okay I gotta show out today or else I'm gonna be getting clown the entire game. Would you say pregame? So in the pregame interview.
So at that point, I was like, okay, I got to show out today or else I'm going to be getting clowned the entire game. Would you say pregame? So in the pregame interview, like I guess it was the day before, pre-practice, people were asking me about Kentucky, and I told them, like, they're obviously a tremendous shooting team, shoot the best percentage of the country, but I think our team shoots it better.
And they just ran with that. Their fans said, oh, this is ridiculous, blah, blah ridiculous blah blah blah so then before the game their players were just saying like you better you better have a good night or else uh you can't be saying stuff like that and then they didn't really say anything the entire game no yeah no yeah you were dead right what is what is your range man as soon as you walk in the gym you got to start firing them anywhere anywhere my teammates are gonna pass me the ball i'm putting it up yeah and we by the way so the other part of the perfect like you're an industry plant for March Madness you had an NIL deal almost like 10 seconds after you got off the court you also we go buy the shirts in our barstool store we did an NIL deal with Jack uh so those are those are live right now but what how quickly did that all take place like was it just you were in the locker and you're like, all right, now I got to do an ad tomorrow? No, you guys are going to love this.
So my phone obviously was just blowing up. I didn't even want to look at it.
A couple of my buddies are just like, dude, we'll just set up an email for you and we'll do it all. So I didn't even see any of it.
It was just them going through these emails and being like, oh, let's do this one. Let's do this one.
This is a good one. This is a bad one.
That's incredible. They picked it.
It was just, it was just them going through these emails and being like, Oh, let's do this one. Let's do this one.
This is a good one. This is a bad one.
That's incredible. They picked it's just my two, two dumb guys just running the, running the email, picking a turbo tax.
And I go in the hotel ballroom and shoot a video and everyone's telling me it's so amazing because it's so bad. The turbo tax can, that contributed to the conspiracies out there out there because like wait now he's doing an ad where he's just getting the government paid yeah you're doing an ad right before we have to pay our taxes right now but it was that credit to your dumb friends because that's like that's a pretty good nil deal to just have come through at the last second no yeah shout out to them they made it happen yeah that's oh that's perfect.
Yeah, so what's next for you? What do you have on the horizon right now? So I just got invited to the Final Four to do a three-point contest there, so I'm excited for that. That'll be fun.
Do you need one of us to put a hand in your face for it? Because like you said. I think I would shoot better, yeah.
I would appreciate that. Come out.
Yeah, so maybe I'll run into you guys out there that would be awesome yeah um and then after that just uh gonna try to play pro i have no idea where i'm gonna end up but just gonna kind of go through the the process during the summer and maybe i'll be overseas maybe i'll be you know g league or whatever it is but just gonna try to keep playing basketball and and avoid the car salesman or uh insurance jobs as possible. Yeah, I think I said on the stream last night, I was like, this guy is so perfect, like he probably already has a job at Deloitte lined up.
But I want more Jack Gokey on the basketball court. I also said, I was like, we have to hire him.
So I think you have a standing job offer here. I kind of got creepy, though.
I was like, I don't even want to do anything. I just want to have him, and whenever someone comes over, we're just like, hey, you want to see our guy shoot some threes? We got a goal key here.
Yeah, we would be like, okay, here's our popcorn machine right there. There's the gambling cave.
There's our goal key. Your job is just hit threes all day long.

I'll just be a prop and then if I

miss a couple threes, you guys just got to kick me to the

curb. We might need you if we

ever have to do the free throw competition again.

You'll be the first call.

Yeah, but take the shots from

the three-point line.

Yeah, free throws for everybody else.

I'll shoot deep threes. Did you get a text from

JJ Watt? I did, yeah. That was pretty cool.
Of course, he's trying to get in the limelight here. What did he say? I should have, hey, J.J.'d him.
That would have been like flashbacks for him. He was just like, what the fuck? Did you grow up watching J.J.
Watt play in the NFL? Oh, yeah. I mean, he – so I'm trying to think of what year he graduated high school, but I saw him a little bit in high school.
I saw him at Wisconsin, and obviously he was at Central Michigan before that. But, yeah, he was just an absolute sensation in Pewaukee.
Everyone knows J.J. Watt.
Everyone knows T.J. Watt.
Those guys are just – Derek. They're the top standard in Pewaukee, yeah.
Did you ever think that – did you ever try to go to Madison? Because I would have loved a Golki in my life for the team I root for. They never really reached out.
Fucking idiots. That wasn't in the cards.
But they don't recruit Wisconsin very well. I'm sure you know that.
We need to get you an extra COVID year. Would you play? I just want to watch more Golki.
Just hitting threes. I'm going to get even more shit for how old I am if I do one more year.
No one's going to complain. You could play in the next three March Madnesses and people would be like, awesome, more Golki.
Yeah. Keep more Golki going.
So a question, obviously the NC State game didn't go your guys' way. You guys fought your asses off, went to overtime.
I noticed, though, obviously, it was clear that NC State was like, we cannot let this guy be open ever. Did you notice it from the jump that it was totally different than the Kentucky game where Kentucky almost no shots at Cal, but it felt like they didn't really understand that you could hit anything.
NC State was like, there was a guy glued to you, and you still scored. Yeah, it was definitely different from Kentucky.
Kentucky was just guarding in a different way that you don't typically guard like really good shooters. But NC State, they just, they said, we're going to get physical.
We're going to foul until the refs call it. And I mean, credit to them.
They were just physical the entire game and kind of mucking things up. And I was just trying to get loose in transition because they were doing such a good job in the half court of just ruining everything, to be honest.

So just try to get loose in half court, pump fake, have the guys fly by.

And luckily it worked a couple times, but I wish we could have made a couple more down the stretch, obviously.

Yeah, when you did the pump fake, every pump fake.

And we also had a rule in the gambling cave because we were watching games for four days. games for four days and I told everyone they cannot say like you know wet or anything like that unless it's a Golki shot because I've never been more confident that NC State game you had one shot where it didn't even leave your hands and I was like good three good and it was just like I was like the only person I'll do that for is like Steph Curry and Golki that's it I love it I'll take that comparison day of the week.
Do you have like a favorite thing that you say right as the ball leaves your hands? Like

some people say water. Some people say butter, wet, wop.
I usually say like, like, why'd you

let me get that off? Oh yeah. I like that.
Like, why are you letting me shoot? You know better than

that? Yeah. Just scold.
Yeah. A little scold.
Yeah. That's a good one.
What, what, um, so are

you still in school? You're not in school. Are you in school? I mean, technically, but it's tough to lock in, guys.
I'm not going to lie to you. I would imagine.
Yeah, I do want to get ahead of one thing. I might have said, you said on Thursday night, we're not a Cinderella.
I loved that. I was like, let's go.
Tough luck. Tough luck.
But Oakland's president had a Cinderella slipper in front of her. And in the heat of the moment, I might have said some things that were, you know, anger induced.
So I just want to apologize to that if you ever see her walking around and just be like, hey, that guy didn't mean that. He was just rooting really hard for Golki.
What about, so your coach also was a great story. When you, what was the process? Because you were at Hillsdale for four years.
Then you end up going to Oakland what was what sold you on Oakland was it was it coach yeah I mean he he's just had a tremendous history of guys like me that just shoot a bunch of threes and I mean you guys have probably heard like Max Hooper and maybe even Travis Bader guys that just launched threes and he he just called me and said hey I want you to watch this film with me and see like what these guys have done in the past i think it'll be a good role for you and i just watched it and i was like it doesn't get much better than that i mean you you guys know how it is like if you can just go out there and launch threes it's it's a it's a good life so it fit really well and i was just like i'm not going to find a better place than this and i think we could be really successful i had a theory that you went there because their their half court logo is so big at your gym that you were like, I'm not going to find a better place than this, and I think we could be really successful. I had a theory that you went there because their half-court logo is so big at your gym that you were like, I'm going to hit all the logo threes.
No, you always got to walk. When you walk in a gym, you got to look for the logos and be like, which spot is the most strategic for me to hit some logo threes where I'm really only two feet behind the line? Yeah, I think Oakland might have maybe the number one gym in America with that.
Oh, yeah. We got the Michigan State thing out there where you can be like one and a half feet behind the line and you're shooting a logo three.
And then if you're shooting from the bear, you can be like three feet. So you can get a bunch of them up for sure.
I love it. That's great.
All right. Well, last question.
Rowback question. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com.
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If I told you Open Gym, 100 threes, let's say hypothetically it's a high school line and it's actually our office, 100 threes, how many are you making? High school line? Honestly, I'm probably making more at the college line the high school line oh i just haven't shot high school line in five six years okay so you could step back you can shoot from wherever but how many you're making empty gym okay empty gym i'm gonna set the line at i'd say like 78 and a half okay well we open invite uh to come to chicago and let's do that video because i mean it's you know our hour and 15 drive from pewaukee whenever you're back come on down we'll do it 78 and a half i'm taking the over yeah probably the over on that one i'm taking the over all day i'm telling you i'm making if you if you want threes off the off the move and sprinting i'll make 90 but okay we'll do love it. All right, so we're doing it.
I actually think we could put you at one end and then put maybe our worst player at the other end with one basketball, and you would outscore him if all that other guy had to do was just hit layups over and over and over again. Yeah, let's do that, actually.
I guarantee you I will make more threes than your worst player makes. All right, we'll do a Jerry after dark.
Oh, yeah, Hank is our worst player. Hank's our worst player.
He's a bad athlete. You know that, though.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
I've seen it all. Well, Jack, thank you so much, man.
We really enjoyed watching you play, and best of luck. And we've got to have you come to the office and do a challenge.
Yeah, that sounds great. Thanks for having me on, guys.
And I'm excited to come in. That'll be a lot of fun.
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That's topgolf.com slash PMT. And now here's DJ Burns.
Okay. We now welcome on a very special guest.
He is starting center for NC State, the sweet 16 bound NC State Wolfpack. It is DJ Burns.
DJ, congratulations, first of all.

And second of all, are you tired yet? Because you guys have won now seven games in 12 days.

It's an incredible run.

Are you tired?

I'm not too tired yet.

Not yet.

Not yet.

Okay.

Okay.

Yeah.

It's been a wild run, like going back to the ACC tournament, watching you guys really, like, play your way into form. It was awesome, like, watching you run through that tournament.
At some point, did you feel yourself, like, going into the tournament? Did you know that you had it in you to make a run? Or did it take a little momentum, maybe, you know, like, hit a big shot against UVA to really buy in and believe that this team can be, you know, a special team? Yeah, I definitely say we knew we could do it, but that shot definitely sent us right over the top, man. That was the point where we knew we just needed to fight a little bit more and we were going to get it done.
Yeah. And it's, I mean, it's like the run is insane.
Last night, you guys play in overtime. You play 42 minutes, 24 points, 11 rebounds.
Like it's just been, It's been so much fun to watch. Do you ever find when guys go up against you, do they visibly – can you tell when you got them when they're so frustrated because your moves are so smooth and you're touched? Everything you throw up at the rim goes in.
Do you know when you're like, all right, I got them. They can't stop me? I wouldn't say that, but I'd say I can tell definitely when they begin to, you know, I can tell when they get frustrated because that's when they'll start to, you know, say little slick things under their breath, like, you know, to themselves, like they try to, you know, hype themselves up.
But when we're having a game like that, it's hard to not keep going. Yeah.
Yeah, and I feel like you don't get the calls that you deserve sometimes they ref you a little bit different sometimes and sometimes the uh the other team strategy just becomes like see if you can take a charge from dj but meanwhile they're like they're hugging you they're grabbing your arms do you have to like dial yourself back because i know you get frustrated sometimes we don't get like the zach edy treatment on those whistles do you to hold yourself back sometimes, or do you talk to the refs and let them know like,

hey, this guy's just tackling me every time I get the ball?

Yeah, for sure.

I mean, I've been told by them that I'm hard to ref sometimes

because of, you know, being bigger than everyone and everything like that.

So I understand it, but, you know, it is frustrating.

I oftentimes have to catch myself getting frustrated

and reel it back in for sure.

Yeah.

I got to stand up for you for one moment in this run. I thought CBS did you dirty when they tried to give you ice cream after the game.
They tried to set you up. That was wrong.
I'll keep my comments to myself on that. Okay, all right.
I'll just say it. I'll say it was wrong.
It's been like – but I know that you guys sometimes do ice cream after wins. Have you guys, I hope in the locker room, have you guys said anything to coach being like, we've made you so much money on this run? Because like I keep seeing every single win.
It's like, you know, Kevin Keats gets another bonus. He gets a two-year extension.
Have you at least said, hey, what we're doing for you, it's pretty nice? No, no no no um that man that man he's the one who put us all together you know he's the one who saw the vision of what we could be so you know definitely we're thankful for him as well it is funny though it's literally every single game which it's an incredible run I mean the the five games in five days and I was reading a story that you guys were like every day coming back to the game and being like, we feel better than we did yesterday. Was that just a mentality that you were taking? Cause there's no way at some point your body has to be five games in five days.
You guys are just all bought in like that. Dude, that's just, that's just the vibe around this place right now.
We, we don't plan on quitting at all. And we work real hard and we did treatment the same way that we treat practice.
It's very important. I think that we're taking the necessary steps to keep going.
Yeah. Going through the ACC tournament, backing up a little bit, you beat Duke and you beat UNC over the span of just a couple days.
Can you power rank? What's the most satisfying win? Is it beating Duke or beating UNC or maybe some other team in the ACC? I'd probably say beating UNC just because we played them twice and lost twice going into that. If we played Duke twice, I feel like we, you know, we probably would have split that.
So definitely would say UNC because we lost to them twice. Yeah.
And, I mean, the three that you hit against UNC was awesome too. Have you asked Coach for more looks from the outside? Like take a few threes every now and again.
No, no, sir. I'll play my role, and if the opportunity presents, I'll take one.
But I don't try to do too much outside of what I'm good at. So I try to, you know, do what helps us win.
I got a weird question for you, DJ, and it's something I'm actually weirdly interested in um you sell vending machines yeah i have a few um i don't sell them i just own a few i have two myself that's incredible so how did you get into that uh that was just you know um there's a guy who played at auburn named josh dollard um he's from the charlotte area we used to train with this trainer named gabe blair and he um phenomenal guys and I was just talking to him you know about some things that went through up and we were just talking about what are ways to make money outside of basketball so you're not like one-dimensional as a person and that was one of the things he showed me and I took after it. I mean that's awesome so you have you have two active right now and you just it just makes money for you? Yeah and I've showed a few friends how to do it as well and they take it a little more serious than i do now what what's in your vending machines though that's very important because like i hope it's not to be honest i can't eat what's in my vending machines okay all right that's a good thing okay all right yeah don't don't get high on your own supply yeah yeah but it does it sells well for sure yeah that's that's smart.
Do you have big Texan cinnamon rolls in there?

No, not right now.

Oh, those are a moneymaker.

Wait, do you switch it up?

Do you do a different menu every month?

Not every month, but every now and then.

I have two different vendors, so depending on which one I go to,

they have different stuff. I mean, we could do a whole interview on vending machines.

I love vending machines so much.

I'm interested in the snack game right now.

So you could also, if you want to plug your vending machines let people know where they can find the dj burns vending machines and maybe people just go to just flock to them they're just at um some schools out in charlotte you know stuff like that but um it's not it's not anything too major i don't really i don't really i'm not in that's not my business for sure that's just like some little side hustle stuff it's i like that yeah it's entrepreneurial and then the other one i had which you know the internet might just lie but do you do you play four different instruments uh i did play four instruments i'm not as i'm not as active in all of them anymore you know just because basketball takes up most of that time now so um it's more of something that i'll do every now and then i'll it's it's it stayed with me from but, yeah, that's not really something I'll do as much anymore. What were the four? The upright bass, the piano, the baritone saxophone, and the alto saxophone.
That's badass. That's a good variety, too.
Upright bass, that's an instrument that I would love to be able to play. Yeah.
Yeah, I actually went into school, and they were showing me the violin, and the lady, the teacher, Ms. Thompson, she was like,

yo, you're going to snap that thing with your neck.

Try this.

And she handed me the bass, and I fell in love with it, man.

That's, I mean, to have that, like, wide variety of, like, skills is insane.

Like, to be a Division I basketball player, go to the Sweet 16,

and have four instruments that you can play, and also a vending vending machine owner yeah you might be the coolest dude in the world hey man i hope to be one day man not there yet america's big man that's what they're calling you right now and i i was reading your twitter profile earlier it says that your um your profile says bible books and ball the big three for you sir what's your, man. I don't really have a favorite, to be honest.
I read a lot of books based on sports and then about God and stuff like that, you know, my walk with faith. So that's mostly, I'd probably say the one, I'm still, I'm rereading the Uncommon book by Tony Dungy right now.
That's one, like a little daily devotional. So stuff like that.
I set you up, though. The answer was the Bible.
Yeah, 100%, man that's that's a given i thought you were like you know in general i got another weird question for you um i i love the fact that you're a big undershirt guy i feel like the ncaa tournament every year you've always got a couple dudes that rock the big undershirts and now they're getting tighter you know most people are wearing like the compression sleeves almost you still rock the old school undershirt. You can go back and look at, like, Keith Van Horn, Simbular.
There's just a long list of undershirt guys. Have you always been an undershirt guy? Was that a conscious decision you made? Yeah, I mean, honestly, when I used to play basketball, I wore a lot of long-sleeve shirts, and people would always look at me crazy for wearing long sleeves while hooping.
So I just kind of stuck to the undershirt. Now I kind of get the same ones that are comfortable so I can move around in them.
Yeah. What's your favorite, uh, like way to score on the court? Is it a dunk over someone or is it like, you know, the spin move when you get someone going the wrong way and it's just easy layup? I mean, again, it's so much fun watching you play because when you have your post moves going, you just get people just turned around.
I wouldn't even say I have a favorite move. I just like to react.
You know, whatever you're going to give me is what I'm going to take. You know, whether that be a pass or something.
But I'm not really looking to make spectacular plays, but I'm always trying to be smart with it. So I just like smart plays, people who play smart.
Yeah. Do you ever catch yourself? Because every now and then when we're watching your games, there'll be like, you'll throw in like almost a football move.
Do you realize that? Like sometimes you'll like, you'll have the ball and you'll just kind of throw a little shoulder and you'll be like, wait. And then you, and then you'll kind of be like, all right, I'm still on the basketball court.
Do you notice that? Yeah. The thing with that is, I just learned that, you know, I'm going to get fouled.
So sometimes I have to, you know, use a little more muscle than I would like to have to use. But I mean, if that's what I have to do the sport and so be it you know i'm gonna get fouled so sometimes i have to you know use a little more muscle than i would like to have to use but i mean if that's what i have to do to score it and so be it you know that's smart yeah and your passing is incredible too is that skill that you've you've worked on in the last few years um because when when i see you do like a little like behind the back or a little like look away pass there's nothing that i like more than a big man that can pass the ball oh man i just say that's something that god blessed me with man I don't know where it came from or how it got there but I've always been able to be a passer um I think it just has something to do with being unselfish that's always been me man yeah all right well I have one last question for you it's a rowback question r-h-o-b-a-c-k.com promo code take 20 off your first purchase q-zips polos hoodiesgers, shorts.
DJ Burns, who we're rooting for to hopefully get into the Final Four.

We want to see this journey continue.

I'm rooting for you to get to the Final Four because then,

for people who don't know, you were third in your state in high school rankings

behind Zion Williamson and John Morant.

Pretty good company.

I would like to see you get to the Final Four, something those guys didn't,

so we can be like, yeah, they were wrong.

DJ Burns probably should have. Pretty good company.
I would like to see you get to the final four, something those guys didn't,

so we can be like, yeah, they were wrong.

DJ Burns probably should have been ranked number one.

Hey, man, that's 100% the goal.

That's what we're working towards every day, man.

Yeah.

I love it.

I appreciate that.

Yeah.

I mean, it's great.

Yeah, I mean, the fact that that's a trivia question, that's cool. And you're the most fun to watch of the three.

Definitely.

Right now.

Definitely the most fun to watch. Yes, by far now definitely the most fun to watch yes by far i appreciate that man that's awesome yeah thanks for joining us man we really appreciate your time and good luck go wolf pack and yeah we're gonna be pulling for it keep it rolling keep it rolling wolf pack yes sir go pack man dj burns is brought to you by proper 12.
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Let's wrap up the show. Hank, any other grievances? Nope.
Okay. Are you mad at me for anything? Nope.
No, either. He picked your side.
I had two. I had two.
The last three months have not been great for me because hank when you and i went head to head hank went with you and then surviving barstool before remember when he was like if it comes down to you and dave i'm going with dave i i know where i stand i didn't pick pft i'm third me and pft got assigned a team and pft forced JMU. Did I force you? That was mean of you, PFT.

Contractually.

Did I force you?

You should have not done that.

Now I'm mad at Hank.

Oh, okay.

Yes.

Fuck you, Hank.

Because he definitely wanted to pick JMU.

You piece of shit.

Yeah.

I wanted to pick NC State.

You're spouting fake news.

Seriously?

You would have won 40K?

I know.

Did he actually?

No.

He wanted JMU.

And he said it's going to be so funny when Big Cat gets mad.

So you did pick against me.

That's fine.

I can deal with it.

I made that last part up.

I'm going to close my circle.

My kids still like me.

I did.

Big Cat, Shane was shooting, and Big Cat was like, what's up, Shane?

Only person that did pick JMU.

I was like, Shane, it was a dark place.

I was like, Shane, it's good that I know I still have you, dude. And he's like, yeah.
I bet Wisconsin. I was like, oh, bad bet.
That was stupid of you. But yeah, I know where I stand with Hank.
He's third. And might even be way lower than that.
I think he likes memes more. I don't know.
He took memes off. I've been falling down the chart.
He took memes off the pip. Yeah, I've been falling down the charts.
It did hurt. pip yeah i've been falling down the charts it did hurt it is what meme sketches the most strays of anybody yeah it hurts he and max have been like getting along recently because the sixers suck yeah so it's like they're both lying down on this couch earlier when i walked in who that's together together not true like snuggling what sixers had a big win today they were lying down together on the couch yeah it's crazy.
That's not true. You like snuggling? What? Sixers had a big win today.
They were lying down together on the couch? Yeah, it was crazy. That's a weird move, guys.
That's kind of strange. No, that's not true.
I was laying on the floor and he was just laying on the couch. Love is love.
By the way, so the coach's picture, I'm going to write this blog after this. It's one in the morning.
I'm fucked. I don't know why they release it on a Sunday.
They always release it on a Monday. Didn't someone say they did the date wrong by accident? Yes.
It's a news dump. Which sucks.
Because, yeah, I'm fucked. But give me just something, maybe one that jumps out to you.
I mean, Stefanski's posture is atrocious. Andy Reid is still a boss.
Andy Reid's legs stand out to me. Belichick's usually, you know, I feel like half the time he's in it, when he's in it, he was always such an alpha that it was cool.
So I was scanning it, and then when I finally saw Mayo, I was like, oh, no, this is bad. Gerard Mayo.
He stands out and probably not in a good way. He's wearing a T-shirt.
Yeah. And he's big.
I don't like the fact that they put all the. Barrel chested.
They put all the former Redskins coaches from that team together on purpose.

Oh, did they?

Schefter probably loves that shit.

Schefter probably...

He probably set this whole photo up.

Wait.

Yeah, you got McDaniel.

You got LaFleur.

You got McVay.

You got Kyle Shanahan.

Then you got...

Wait, but who's in between McDaniel?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that's someone who's... That's a new face.
I think it might just be the fact that LaFleur and Sean McVay are friends. And Shanahan behind him and McDaniel right there.
Yeah, I think you're seeing things because there's a guy literally sitting in between. But who is that guy? There's someone separating them.
We've got to learn the new guys. I think it's the Seahawks coach.
Oh, yeah, McDonald. Yeah.
Yep. Yeah.
yeah and i don't like the i already wrote a part of the blog dave canalis thinking he can go shorts next to andy reed you fucking suck he got alpha well you just can't do that you can't be if you haven't won a game in the nfl and you win shorts no uh david o'connell needs an iron dan quinn and uh brian dable next to each other look hilarious. They look like the funniest either buddy cop duo of all time, or we were saying they look like a team of hitmen or outlaws, or like you said the robbers from Home Alone.
Yeah, they would be the Home Alone robbers if they were just like, let's redo it, but they're both bald. Or like a 30th anniversary of a high school wrestling state championship.
Yeah, True. They do look like high school wrestling coaches.
I got a question because I already have started looking at this one guy in between Dave Canales and what's the fucking idiot from the Saints? Dennis Allen. Yeah.
Who's that? Because he looks like a weird like church preacher. Like not even a church preacher, like a church camp counselor.
Yeah. He probably counselor.
An adult church camp counselor. This guy probably had the chair turned around and he was sitting facing you, but the chair's backwards.
Hey, buddy. Let me wrap at you real quick about Chastity.
Let's talk some football. Who is that? Brian Callahan.
Oh! Okay, respect. His dad's an all-time football guy.
Mm-hmm. And Brian, oh, yeah, Titans.
Doug Peterson looks like he's had about six. Oh, he's the best.
Six daiquiris. Every year.
Doug Peterson. He looks the most comfortable, and Stefanski looks the least comfortable.
Yeah, I think I said it every single year, but it stands every single year. Doug Peterson, he looks like a swinger.
And I mean that in all due respect. All due respect.

Because it looks like he just enjoys life.

Yeah.

To a certain level.

It kind of looks like Stefanski is an uptight husband.

And then Peterson is like his drunk, embarrassing librarian wife.

Stefanski's sitting like Gerard Mayo's got his fingers up his ass.

I don't know what happened.

And we love Stefanski. But he's going to get it.
He's going gonna have to get it dan campbell looks like he's ready to fuck always that dude fuck or fight that dude's a fuck or fight guy he's ready to go that might be the whole thing mr fuck or fight which one you want to do brother and i don't care we can do you just you decide the harbaugh is next to each other i love it good luck yeah tough for for Zach Taylor to get stuck in between two former NFL players. Yeah, but Gerard Mayo, that's Hank.
That's a tough fall from grace to see him in a T-shirt. He got surprised by the whole thing.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we didn't have any classic.
Like, Matt Rule, Panthers year was incredible. I look back.
I've been doing this blog for 11 years now.

Time flies.

Mark Trestman was the first one.

Antonio Pierce looks like a magician slash sex show enthusiast.

And he does a little bit of both.

Where's Antonio Pierce?

Second row, top left.

Second row, top left.

Oh, yeah, I see him.

Okay.

Yeah, he looks like a magician, like an X-rated magician. Yeah.
gonna be fun all right i'll be up all night uh but it'll be fun shane

gillis coming wednesday official don't worry i feel like we've been a little transparent but i

we probably fucked up the timing taping that right before march madness uh but yeah that will be

wednesday uh and we'll talk some more sweet 16 uh let's finish up the show with numbers 40

Thank you. March Madness.
But yeah, that will be Wednesday and we'll talk some more Sweet 16. Let's finish up the show with numbers.

40.

How many bracelets? I hope you win this one.

18.

What the fuck is wrong with you? I hope you win

this one. Don't do that.

No, I do. I hope you win.
I hope you win.

Alright, 20.

3. 77.

8.

Hank. 3.
77. 8.
Hank?

40.

There's one up there.

This doesn't count.

Yeah, this doesn't count, but I'm curious what that is.

I'm going to wait to know what the number is.

78.

78. 78 doesn't count, though.
Doesn't count. Yeah, this doesn't count, but I'm curious what that...
I'm going to wait to know what the number is. 78.
78.

78.

Doesn't count, though.

Doesn't count.

Pick number three, my lord.

Doesn't count.

46. 46.

Love you guys. Today's another day to find you Talking away

I don't know what I need to say I say it anyway Today's another day to find you Shining away I'll be coming for your love of tea Be gone. Bye.
Thank you. is up here say out to me it's no better to be safe than sorry to be safe than sorry make me make me make me I'll be gone

In a day of change