NHL With Keith Yandle, Fixing The All Star Game + Hank Makes A Terrible Bet On His Future Self
We’re back in studio and here to fix the NBA All Star Game once and for all. Doc Rivers is making headlines everywhere (00:00:00-00:21:38) and Hank is ready with his top 10 Patriots list, but we only let him reveal number 6 (00:21:38-00:34:20). Hot Seat/Cool Throne including baseball talk and Sydney Sweeney (00:34:20-00:56:52). 16 year NHL pro Keith Yandle joins us to catch up on hockey, how he’s never owned a computer, incredible Jaromir Jagr stories and more (00:56:52-01:47:37). We finish with life after football goals and Hank makes the worst bet of his life (01:47:37-01:47:37).
You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/pardon-my-take
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Transcript
Speaker 1
Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Speaker 3 And Mint is still premium unlimited wireless for a great price.
Speaker 1 So that means a half day.
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Speaker 4
Upfront payment for $45 for three-month plan, equivalent to $15 per month required. New customer offer for first three months only.
Speed slow under 35 gigabytes.
Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we are back in studio.
Speaker 1
Good to see everyone. Some sun tans.
Do you get a little tan?
Speaker 5 I was out on the course.
Speaker 5 I got flushed.
Speaker 1
I got a little tan. Hank got a little tan.
A little sunburn.
Speaker 1 Jake, you get a little sunburn?
Speaker 6 Yeah, a little bit, but I'm brought on some sunscreen.
Speaker 1 Max is sick.
Speaker 5
I want to get that golfer's tan. Was it Paul Asinger that had that one or Stuart Sink? Stuart Sink.
With a head that was just white.
Speaker 1 Yeah, you need a bald head, though. Yeah, that one rocks.
Speaker 5 Well, just wait a couple years.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 1
We have a great show, though. We're back in studio.
We're going to talk. Maybe a little fix on the NBA All-Star game because people are very upset about it.
Speaker 1
Hot seat, cool throne. Hank, are you debuting your top 10 Patriots? I haven't.
He has it. He's done it.
Maybe we'll push it off now that we're okay. No, you haven't.
Well, I was going to say, I know.
Speaker 3 I didn't want to be unprepared, but
Speaker 3 maybe waiting till the end of the series.
Speaker 1 Okay, all right.
Speaker 1 Yeah, no, that's a good idea.
Speaker 1 I have my current one.
Speaker 5
But did you do this, or did you have somebody else help you out? I did it. He did it.
Did you put the lighthouse on the old lighthouse? Maybe. That should be on.
Speaker 1 Not the old lighthouse.
Speaker 1
We have a great interview with our good friend Keith Yandel talking hockey. This is the week where we're catching up on all of our sports.
We did NBA preview with Rosillo on Monday.
Speaker 1
We have Keith Yandel talking hockey today. I think we're going to have Titus do some college basketball preview on Friday.
It's new life for this show.
Speaker 1 And then we also, at the end of the episode, we're taking listener suggestions on life after football. So, what their plans are for what to do with life without football.
Speaker 5 We should circle back, too, on the things that we said that we were going to do after football was over last year.
Speaker 1
Oh, do we have those? I have that list. All right, so we'll do that at the end.
That's great. That's great.
Speaker 7 All right, before we get to all of it, when cool, creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the whole is greater than the sum of its sauce.
Speaker 7 Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch sauce only at McDonald's for a limited time.
Speaker 5 At participating, McDonald's.
Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.
Speaker 1 Now in the street, there is violence.
Speaker 1 And then a lot of soft work to be done.
Speaker 1 No place to hang out on washing.
Speaker 1
And then a candle game all on the sun. Oh no, we're gonna rock it down to E-Lay Trick.
I revenue.
Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.
Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock down to E-LA Trick.
Speaker 5 It's part of my take.
Speaker 2 Isn't it about Marshall Sports?
Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take.
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Speaker 1
Today is Wednesday, February 21st, and the boys are back in studio. The boys are back.
The boys are back. The boys are back.
Speaker 5 It kind of rocks being back in the studio.
Speaker 1 Not gonna lie.
Speaker 1 I'm gonna fade it out.
Speaker 1
Guess who just got back to get it? Remember when it was Rex Ryan and Rob Ryan walking together? Yeah. We played that song.
That was the coolest fucking video ever. We're back.
We're back. It is
Speaker 1 great to be back from vacation. Everyone feels rested.
Speaker 5 Well, I did feel rested, Big Cat, until I watched the NBA All-Star game.
Speaker 5 And man, did I expect more out of that one? Puke.
Speaker 5
So I actually didn't watch the NBA All-Star game. I did not either.
I've never felt smarter in my entire life. Went back, watched all the highlights, of which there were
Speaker 5 one or two.
Speaker 5 The highlight was really Adam Silver after the game telling the, it was the Eastern Conference one, congratulations on, I guess, scoring the most points tonight.
Speaker 1
Yes. No, I thought so.
So there was that highlight, but the real highlight for me was Bob Ryan tweeting, if you're not personally offended
Speaker 1 by this, he wrote but, but I assume he meant by. If you're not personally offended by this disgraceful farce taking place right now in Indy, you don't love or understand basketball.
Speaker 1 These quote-unquote all-stars should be censored.
Speaker 1 And where are the coaches? Have any of them have any pride? They're all acting like athletic court gestures. I love that.
Speaker 5
I would like to see a coach try to get players to play in the all-star game. Like, have them do suicides before the game.
Have them go out there, run three-man weave.
Speaker 5 Like, let's get, come on, let's lock in, do a full-court press.
Speaker 1
Yeah, well, there's another one. He had one earlier that I missed.
He said, once again, these NBA stars are showing no respect for the game. It's another dunkarama and three-point farce.
Speaker 1
Not a single hand in anyone's face. I'll see how TCM is doing.
See you next year. What a waste of time.
Adam, you must do something. It's embarrassing for your sport.
Adam,
Speaker 1 Adam Silver, though, he kind of, is he the number one cuck commissioner now?
Speaker 5 Yeah, he doesn't do shit.
Speaker 1 Well, he just gets bullied by everyone.
Speaker 5 Yeah, that's his job. I mean, Roger Goodell, he does get bullied, but he gets bullied by the owners.
Speaker 1
Do you know what Adam Silver's biggest problem was? Was timing. Timing is everything in life.
He came in and was commissioner, and you remember what happened right when he was commissioner?
Speaker 1
I think he was like two months in. It was Donald Sterling.
And he banned him for life. And everyone's like, this fucking guy rocks.
That's it. He is the best.
And it's been all downhill from there.
Speaker 1 You literally, like, you can't, you got to wait for those easy wins. He should have, you know what he should have done?
Speaker 1 He should have said, we're going to wait and see with Donald Sterling, put it in his back pocket, waited till there was an all-star,
Speaker 1 you know, crisis at hand. And then, like, oh, yeah, that Donald Sterling guy, is he even still alive? Is he?
Speaker 1 No.
Speaker 5 I think he is. No, I think he's dead.
Speaker 1
Boom. He's suspended for life.
He's alive. He should have waited.
Oh, really? Hide. 89.
89.
Speaker 6 According to Wikipedia. He's got that.
Speaker 5 When Donald Sterling dies, Adam Silver should release a statement that just says, good.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Adam Silver.
Remember when I banned him?
Speaker 5 Yeah. Anytime we mention Donald Sterling, we have to read the transcript from his 2003 deposition.
Speaker 1 And also, Big Magic Johnson. What did he ever do?
Speaker 5 So here's.
Speaker 5
Here's Donald Sterling's words from this deposition 2003, former owner of the Clippers. Well, I fool around sometimes.
I do.
Speaker 5 When a girl seduces me and tells me all these hot stories and dirty things and tells me how much she wants to suck on me and takes my shoes off and licks my feet and touches me.
Speaker 5
When I'm in a limousine, she takes off all her clothes. The limo driver said, what's going on? And she started sucking on me on the way to Mr.
Koon's house. And I thank her.
Speaker 5 I thank her for making me feel good. Then the lawyer, sir, the question was, is this your handwriting?
Speaker 1
Love it. It literally was Michael Scott deposition.
It rocks. Yeah, in real life.
But I have some fixes for the All-Star game. I do too.
Okay.
Speaker 1 Go ahead. No, you go ahead.
Speaker 1 I have some that are not going to work.
Speaker 1
Hank, you go ahead. You go ahead.
You got a fix?
Speaker 1
All right, my first fix is on the losing team, one person dies. That's a good fix.
Do you not think they would try hard?
Speaker 5 It's like the lottery. Yeah.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 5 We just take names out of a hat right after it's like oh luca sorry you're dead yeah the mystery knife would play too in that circumstance it would be great yeah that's a good idea that one's a little i i understand that one probably is gonna we're gonna need to get a little bit further in the crisis to get that one enacted but don't rule it out it would kind of rock though if lebron's team lost and then the players vote on who gets killed yeah and they vote lebron off oh okay yeah um i saw you had a similar idea to this big cat but we talked about this for the pro bowl game because we fixed the pro bowl too yep and the solution to that was uh one or all the players on the winning team get to hit free agency one year early.
Speaker 5 Yeah.
Speaker 1 And I did the reverse where all
Speaker 1
if you play the NBA all-star game, losing team has one player that can never be an all-star again. Yeah, I like that.
Yeah. So it's like they that loses out on cash.
Ban them. Yeah.
Speaker 3 The winning team gets to dress the losing team.
Speaker 1 I like that.
Speaker 1
I like that. I had some rest of the year ones.
Losing team can't tie their shoes for the rest of the season. Okay, that's cool.
That'd be pretty funny.
Speaker 1 Losing team has to fly southwest for the rest of the season. Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 Southwest is is fine i flew it this morning hank disagrees not not for nba players yeah barbaric uh what about this what about the richard mindenhall rules
Speaker 5 what if we make the all-star game white versus black oh okay so who's the white starting five luca luca caruso jokic caruso staps chris stap grayson allen peyton pritchard peyton pritchard
Speaker 1 mac mcclung mac mc clung that i'd put that five up against there's got to be a plumley out there and then who's on the other team everyone else yeah literally everyone else uh how How about this one?
Speaker 1
This one would actually be really brutal. Losing team has to be the video crew for LeBron's farewell tour.
Okay. Yeah.
They can't play basketball for at least a year, probably two.
Speaker 1 I also, this one would be fun. Losing team
Speaker 1
draws out of a hat, and the loser, that person's team, has to give Darko 20 minutes a game for the rest of the season. Okay.
Let's get Darko back in.
Speaker 5 Yeah, sure.
Speaker 1 What the fuck? Well, if Darko is getting 20 minutes on the Bucs for the rest of the season, it might be great.
Speaker 5 We don't know.
Speaker 1
I have a real one, though. Okay.
That I actually think would work.
Speaker 5 I got another one. Okay, go ahead.
Speaker 1 You go.
Speaker 5 This kind of straddles the line of real and maybe not real. What if the number one team in college basketball got to play against the all-stars?
Speaker 5 Because
Speaker 5
they'd at least try. They would try.
They would have to try.
Speaker 1 They would try.
Speaker 5
Because the threat of being embarrassed by the number one team. That's true.
That would be enough to make the guys actually go out there and do something cool.
Speaker 1
I saw some people saying they should do U.S. versus the World.
That would be good. I mean, maybe you'd have a little bit of pride.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 But I had. So the problem is the in-season tournament, not only does it have, you know, you win a championship in Vegas, but
Speaker 1
there's money involved. People are saying when you get money involved in the all-star game.
The problem is, though, the all-star game, money involved, all those guys get paid so much money.
Speaker 1 The in-season tournament works because the stars are playing for the last guy on the bench. Like, I remember, wasn't it the Pacers were in the final of it?
Speaker 1
And it was like three or four guys are making, you know, $10 million a year, but everyone else is getting paid nothing. So they're playing for half a million dollars.
That means something.
Speaker 1 What if it was losing team, or sorry, winning team gets money out of the losing team's pocket, but we went one further? So the losing team literally has to pay the winning team.
Speaker 1
So now it's money out of your pocket. Losing team has to pay winning team $10,000 per point.
Oh. Because now you play defense.
Speaker 5 Yeah, you play defense, and it doesn't matter if you're losing. You scored.
Speaker 5 Correct. Not a bad idea.
Speaker 5 And you have to pay them in $1 bills.
Speaker 1
Yeah. And it takes.
But Dame would have gotten $500,000. He scored 50, right? Yeah.
Speaker 5 Did he?
Speaker 1 Was it 50?
Speaker 5 I thought he scored 50.
Speaker 1 Did he not score 50? 39?
Speaker 1 He scored a lot of points. We didn't watch the game.
Speaker 5 We didn't watch the game.
Speaker 1 So it's good for us because we can't get upset about it.
Speaker 5
Trey Young and Donovan Mitchell actually had a decent idea. I think that would probably work.
They told this to Rachel Nichols after the game. They said, get an MC out there.
Speaker 5
So have a guy like at the N1 mixtape or like at Rucker Park that's on the court narrating the game as it happened. Roasting them.
Yeah,
Speaker 5 roasting you if you get crossed up.
Speaker 1 Oh,
Speaker 1 what if the winning team immediately after the game
Speaker 1
had to go and in the back room it was Club Shea Shea and they got to just bash the losing team. I like that.
Yeah. That would be bad.
Good idea. That would be very bad.
Speaker 5 What if you had Ben Simmons and he's just shooting on a hoop out to the side and he has to score 100 points on his own, only three pointers
Speaker 5 in the time that it takes. Both teams have to get over 100 points.
Speaker 1 He wouldn't.
Speaker 1 What do you mean?
Speaker 5 So, like, he's on a hoop all by himself. Right.
Speaker 1 The other teams
Speaker 5 are playing each other.
Speaker 1 Right.
Speaker 5 And he has to score 100 points.
Speaker 1 Oh. So it's a challenge for Ben Simmons.
Speaker 5
A challenge for Ben Simmons. Ben Simmons can beat the two teams to 100 points.
He cannot. He cannot.
Speaker 3 But what if the game doesn't end until they hit 41 free throws in a row? Oh.
Speaker 5 They'd still be there.
Speaker 1
They'd be there forever. Unless they got Scott Morris from UNH.
Shout out. Or Spencer.
Speaker 5 Was that the guy's name?
Speaker 1
Spencer the Ringer. The Ringer, the Ringer.
Yeah. The Ring Ringer guy.
By the way, we have shirts. Hank, go grab one of the shirts.
We have the 41 free throw shirts. I don't know about you guys, but
Speaker 1
I don't think I said this on Sundays pod, but I got to Mexico and I got to the house and I immediately slept for eight more hours. Yeah.
I was like, it was the first day of vacation.
Speaker 1 I was like, I'm going to do some more sleeping.
Speaker 5
Yeah, you forget how much an all-nighter takes away your entire world. Yeah.
Like, you don't feel like you're alive for about two days.
Speaker 1
And you convince yourself you're not tired, and then you close your eyes for one second, and eight hours go by. Yeah.
Yeah, 41 free throws.
Speaker 1 I really do think that the paying the losing team, paying the winning team would work because guys don't want to lose money.
Speaker 1 And especially if you, if you tied it into the point total, guys would play defense. But at the end of the day, who cares, right? I mean, it's the NBA All Star Game.
Speaker 5 Yeah, if you expected anything besides this, the only reason why you might be expecting something different was Adam Silver did say, I think in November, that like, we're not going to have an embarrassing all-star game.
Speaker 5
You're going to be entertained. Yeah.
So that was a fucking lie. And he just, again,
Speaker 1 those players run his life. Like, oh, yeah, we're going to make it even more embarrassing.
Speaker 1 But yeah, other than baseball, I know hockey, people were saying that hockey has done a better job, but like baseball is the only all-star game that really, and that even has lost a little bit of its allure because it used to be, dating ourselves, when there wasn't interleague play, it was like, oh, fuck, I can't wait to see this matchup.
Speaker 1
We'll never see this matchup again. Yeah.
But baseball still has a little bit of allure because you get to, guys are still throwing hard and trying to hit.
Speaker 5 Yeah, football just gave up.
Speaker 1
Yeah, they did, did, which was smart. Which is smart.
Because now no one expects anything out of them. Yeah.
The NBA should just give up.
Speaker 5 Why? It's way easier to give up.
Speaker 1 It's way easier to give up. Then people can't complain.
Speaker 3 The football one, they get the advantage because it's the end of the year.
Speaker 5 Yeah.
Speaker 1 But I think even in basketball, they won't.
Speaker 3 In basketball, you can just tie it in the in-season tournament, do that later in the year.
Speaker 1
Yeah. I really think the money thing is the only thing to save.
And it can't be that the winning team gets money. It has to be tied into the losing team losing money.
Speaker 1 Because, like I said, all the guys are getting paid a ton of money.
Speaker 1 I don't think if you said $100,000 to every winner on the all-star team, yeah, obviously $100,000, but like some of these guys are making $55 million a year. What do they care?
Speaker 1 Yeah, it's not going to be like, oh, I'm going to try way harder now.
Speaker 3 What if all of the all-stars you get selected? Because the other thing with the contracts is like, that's built into your contract if you make all-stars.
Speaker 1
Right. So I'm saying that's why you should lose.
One person should never be all-star again.
Speaker 3 What if every all-star has to volunteer a player on their behalf and then it's for money?
Speaker 5 Oh, I like that. This guy's got to pay.
Speaker 1
No, this guy, or this guy gets paid. Oh, I like that.
I like that. So they're paying for it.
Then you get the last guy on your bench. You're like, I want to get him paid.
Speaker 3 But you also have to work with your other all-stars on getting the best team together so your team can win. Yeah.
Speaker 1 Okay.
Speaker 5 Well, we fixed the all-stars. Or if it was money, what if it was money that got paid to whatever college you went to, if you went to college?
Speaker 5 Because a lot of those guys, they like gassing up their alumni.
Speaker 1 Yeah, I think a lot of them don't.
Speaker 5 You don't think so?
Speaker 1 Well, they only went for like a year, a lot of them.
Speaker 5 Yeah.
Speaker 1
And Zion's playing for the Brotherhood thing. Yeah, for sure.
Yeah. He's definitely still playing for the brother.
Absolute brotherhood. Absolutely.
100%.
Speaker 1 The other thing that came out of this weekend, the NBA weekend, is Doc Rivers is really unlikable. Yeah.
Speaker 1 Holy shit.
Speaker 5 I told you he was a snake.
Speaker 1 So he had the balls to, after taking someone's job and saying he wasn't, he was working for the Bucs as an analyst, took the job, took Jeff Gundy's job, and then
Speaker 1
was like, yeah, I'm good with his announcer stuff. I'll be the Bucs head coach, and we'll fire Adrian Griffin, whatever, 40 games into the season.
Doc Rivers had the balls to say
Speaker 1 it was a tough time for him to take the job. He said, taking a job when you're about to go on the toughest road trip of the season is not the smartest decision.
Speaker 1 I even told them that, can we wait till all-star break? You know, it would have been a lot nicer.
Speaker 5 Yeah, it would have been nicer for sure.
Speaker 1 It would have been great.
Speaker 5 You get like a month of prep time.
Speaker 5 Yeah, good job, Doc.
Speaker 5 You got the job.
Speaker 1 You you can't complain about a job that you you stab somebody in the back for he also had a uh he I'm pulling it up he had a quote where it actually sounded like when Dave does his bit with excuses like not to make excuses then rattles off a bunch of excuses listen to these listen to Doc River explain the the the start he had with the Bucs
Speaker 8 Yeah, just, you know, the Utah game, you kind of knew, you know, altitude, back-to-back.
Speaker 8 I mean, whoever scheduled a Dallas, Utah, have never been on an airplane in their life, you know, or no time zones, you know.
Speaker 2 So that was just a tough one.
Speaker 8 We knew that.
Speaker 8 I guarantee you, when they looked at that before the year started, they were like, this is going to be a brutal game for us.
Speaker 1 End of a trip, legs.
Speaker 2 You can just see it.
Speaker 8
They got a lot of injuries right now. So guys are playing more extended minutes.
I think that's probably.
Speaker 1 And you know what? Blue season.
Speaker 1 El Nino.
Speaker 1 So
Speaker 1 he went altitude, schedule, time zones, fatigue, injuries, defense.
Speaker 5 That's about it.
Speaker 1 In 30 seconds, it's a royal flush. Yeah.
Speaker 5
Yeah, there's nothing. Really, you could.
I've heard people throw El Nino into a lot of shit. He should have put that in there.
Just see how it played. What does that mean? Like, going from...
Speaker 1 It's a leap year? You got extra days this month?
Speaker 5 Going from Dallas to Utah. Everybody knows.
Speaker 1 Time zones and altitude.
Speaker 5 You go from Dallas to Utah.
Speaker 5 You might as well be going through hell.
Speaker 1 It's the toughest road trip in America.
Speaker 5 That's really hard. What else do you want us to do?
Speaker 1 Dallas to Utah.
Speaker 5 Next, you're going to say Sacramento.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Oh, man.
So, yeah, Doc Rivers, good job coming back and really making everyone be like, wait,
Speaker 1 why do people like this guy?
Speaker 5 Yeah, I don't like Doc. Yeah.
Speaker 1 Hank?
Speaker 3 I mean, he's a championship-winning coach. What's not to like?
Speaker 1 All right, what else we got going on in the sports world? Pitchers and catchers did report.
Speaker 5 Yeah, and there's
Speaker 5 a bunch of baseball players that aren't signed yet.
Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know one of my hot seats.
Speaker 5 I don't know what's going to happen with that.
Speaker 1 All right, well, we'll save it for hot seat cool throne.
Speaker 5 I'm excited about baseball, though.
Speaker 1
I'm excited about baseball as well. Dingers only? Yeah, yeah.
We're doing dingers only again. Yes.
No hit by pitches. No No hit by pitches, just dingers.
Speaker 6 So we should set a date.
Speaker 1 Yeah. We'll set a date.
Speaker 1
Let's say June 2020. Oh, we're going to do midseason? Well, we don't have to do the start of this.
Yeah, not the start of the year. What are you doing? Cold.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 5 Also, what's going to be an interesting twist is we're going to have to figure out how to disable notifications on our phone for every player that we had hitting home runs.
Speaker 6 Yeah, I just got a Brandon Lau injury update.
Speaker 5 That's tough. Yeah.
Speaker 6 So we can do 4th of July, one of the episodes again.
Speaker 5 We should be able to keep one guy, though.
Speaker 1 A keeper league?
Speaker 5 A keeper league. Yeah, you get to keep one dinger.
Speaker 1 You know what we should do? Is we should draft.
Speaker 1 This is what we should do: we should draft our team before opening day, and every week you get to add one guy to your active roster till we get the full roster.
Speaker 2 I like that. So you have battles.
Speaker 1 Yes.
Speaker 5
You got one guy that you're with. Yes, you have to guess.
That's a nice way to ease in.
Speaker 5
Yeah, ease in. First week, you're just rooting for one dude to go yards.
Second week, you got two guys you keep track of.
Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like the Royal Rumble of Dingers only. Uh-huh.
Speaker 6 Opening day in South Korea, March 28th.
Speaker 1 Who cares?
Speaker 1 Oh, wait. Inside? They're like in South Korea.
Speaker 1
I think they said opening day for South Korea. It's like, who cares about that? Dodgers, Padres in South Korea.
Oh, sorry. March 20th.
March 20th. All right, well, we're not going to be doing that.
Speaker 5 What kind of time zone is that going to be?
Speaker 1 That's literally, isn't that the first day of March Madness? Yeah, right. That's really stupid.
Speaker 5 Great job, baseball.
Speaker 6 They're a week before everyone else. So March 28th is everyone else.
Speaker 5 What should the punishment be this year?
Speaker 1 I like something baseball related.
Speaker 5
Yeah, it was good. This year's punishment was good.
Just run it back.
Speaker 1 We could run it back. We could also do, you get a hit by a 90-mile-an-hour fastball.
Speaker 5 That'd be fun. That sounds fun.
Speaker 1 That does sound fun.
Speaker 5 Maybe you have to just face a college pitcher until you can.
Speaker 1
Oh, we should. You know what we should do is we should run it back, but the loser also has to bat.
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 5 Because I think facing against a college pitcher would be terrifying.
Speaker 1 Yeah, the loser has to be Shohei.
Speaker 5 Yeah, and you have to keep taking it bats until you get a base hit. Yeah.
Speaker 1 Oh, that would take forever. Maybe we won't put in that stipulation.
Speaker 1
We'll refine it. But yeah, I like doing, I think we should run it back.
You just do that. You got to get a hit.
Shut up, Max. You're sick.
Speaker 1
I'm fine. No, I mean, you're sick in the head.
Oh, okay. Yeah.
Speaker 3 And at baseball.
Speaker 1 And at baseball. You're so sick.
Speaker 1 Hank, do you want to do your top 10 Patriots? Yeah.
Speaker 1 So this could change.
Speaker 3 Yeah, because I said I would do it. We were debating it, and then I was watching the first two episodes of
Speaker 3 Dynasty.
Speaker 1 I've heard, and I haven't watched it yet, but we'll all watch it so that we can review it together. But I've heard the crafts are spin-zoning stuff.
Speaker 1 That's just what the tweets have seen. They're heavily featured.
Speaker 3 You just listen to Kirk.
Speaker 1 No, that wasn't just Kirk did say it, but I've seen tweets too being like...
Speaker 1 I think Simmons even said the crafts were spin-zoning.
Speaker 3 Kirk's, yeah, I mean, I wasn't around, obviously. My first
Speaker 3 watching it, I was like, holy shit, I was literally nine years old when this started.
Speaker 3 People are saying that they made it seem like the Patriots were really bad before Brady,
Speaker 3 and they actually weren't with Parcels and Pete Carroll.
Speaker 1 Which is Super Bowl, yeah.
Speaker 5 So they do focus a little bit on the crafts, and it's told from his point of view, kind of, but you have to almost tell it from his point of view because he's the one that made the decisions. Right.
Speaker 5 Like bringing in Belichick and then Belichick deciding Drew Bledsoe or Tom Brady and then Kraft signing off on that and trusting him. So like you do have to tell his side of the story.
Speaker 5
By far, my favorite part of it so far is Ernie Adams. You get so much Ernie Adams already.
And Ernie Adams,
Speaker 1 he might be on a white whale list of ours.
Speaker 5
Yeah, he's a very interesting guy. So he's driving out of his house, which is a very nice house.
Dude drives a Subaru. Of course.
Like a classic Subaru. Love that guy.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 1 I wouldn't expect him to drive anything else.
Speaker 1 It would be either a Subaru or like a Corolla. Yeah.
Speaker 5 Nothing more. Like 1997 Toyota Camry.
Speaker 1 Yeah, nothing more.
Speaker 3
It's going to be painful waiting week in and week out for all the episodes. I think there's 10 episodes.
There's only two out right now. And I think after this week, it goes one by one by one.
Speaker 1 It hurts. That's
Speaker 3 our brains have been.
Speaker 1
Yeah, I started watching this new show on Hulu, and I watched the first two episodes and realized that it was every week. And it devastated me because I cannot remember week to week anything.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 I need to be able to binge. I actually think what the streaming services should do, because when you binge,
Speaker 1 you watch it so fast you don't remember anything. But when it's week to week, you watch it so slow you don't remember anything.
Speaker 1 They need to basically put like we're a bunch of like Labradors trying to eat our food out of a bowl, the spiral bowls.
Speaker 1
It should be like once you start an episode, you can watch three episodes in one day. Yeah.
And then the next day you can watch three episodes. Yeah.
Speaker 1 I mean, so it's like they basically control your binging.
Speaker 5 I started the Patriots Dynasty show, and then when I got to the end of the available ones, I kept clicking on the third one, even though it said like coming out March 3rd or whatever.
Speaker 5 And I was like, no, that must be a mistake.
Speaker 1
Show me more. Do it, Netflix or Apple.
Do a controlled binge so we can save ourselves from ourselves, but also we can remember what the fuck's going on.
Speaker 1 Because you guys know when you binge something, you do those, like, you'll watch like four episodes in one night and then be like, ah, fuck, I'll do, there's a cliffhanger.
Speaker 1
I'll watch the fifth and barely remember it because you're falling asleep. Yeah.
Give me three a day. Three a day would be perfect.
Speaker 3
Yeah, I need more. I need more stat.
Really, really well done. It only gets up to the snowball is the end of the second episode.
Speaker 3 So there's still a lot left how many episodes are there 10 so they haven't even won a super bowl in the first two episodes no that's pretty crazy yeah and like i said that was i was i was nine my first you know the beginning montage was really really good and i was like holy like first it hurt a little bit because i realized i was like damn this is just history now
Speaker 3 this is not this was my life this is what i lived every day being like oh this is the best team in the world
Speaker 3
During that montage, I was like, oh, this is this is over. Like, this is, yeah, we're watching a documentary.
This is this is all the past.
Speaker 1 I actually, I was thinking about this. Let me actually do an ad real quick that it works perfectly for this.
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Speaker 1 All right, Hank, I had this question popped in my head because did Matthew Slater retire today? Mm-hmm. Okay.
Speaker 1 Maybe, Jake, you can look it up, but
Speaker 1 how many Patriots on the current roster have a Super Bowl?
Speaker 1 Like, that will be the moment when
Speaker 1 you get to a point where it's, because it has to happen at some point in the next couple of years where no one on that team. That many.
Speaker 1 I was thinking about it, like, if they go, if say the Patriots went to the playoffs in two years, and everyone's like, well, it's the Patriots. They're in their playoffs.
Speaker 1 Like, wait, but none of these guys have
Speaker 1 been there for that. Yeah.
Speaker 1 It can't be a bunch.
Speaker 3 Linemen and yeah, like special teamers.
Speaker 1 Yeah, because they also cut a couple guys and I was like, huh,
Speaker 1 I wonder what the longest tenured Patriot is right now.
Speaker 3
Yeah, I probably under 10. I mean, David Andrews, that's what I'm saying.
Lineman
Speaker 6 memes credit.
Speaker 3 Lineman probably definitely do. I would say it's under 10.
Speaker 1 Yeah, that's crazy to think. And they released their whole coaching staff and it was like all brand new faces.
Speaker 5 This documentary is one of the first times, maybe the first time that I've watched a a documentary about something where I remember like every single minute of all this stuff happening.
Speaker 5 I remember when Tom Brady came in for Drew Bledsoe and
Speaker 1 Lin Sanity.
Speaker 5 Linsanity, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 No, no, I know what you mean.
Speaker 5
This is the first one where I watch like the clothes and technology that people are using during the footage. And I'm like, holy shit, that feels like it looks like that's the 80s.
Yeah.
Speaker 5 Like 1999 in terms of the big-ass baggy white shirts and the jeans that they're wearing, the giant cash.
Speaker 3 They also had a hilarious clip of the sports reporter show. Yeah.
Speaker 3 Like Bob Ryan was in it and I don't know, Lupica and a couple other guys where they're just in oversized suits.
Speaker 1 They're just so rocked.
Speaker 3 And they're just sitting on a stage.
Speaker 1
Costume. And that was the show.
On Sunday morning before the NFL content.
Speaker 3 It was just a hilariously, like I remember the show vaguely, but just watching it now being like, oh, this was like
Speaker 3 you want to get hot takes off. Just put four old guys in chairs on a stage.
Speaker 6 An NFL matchup was also in in that early Sunday morning.
Speaker 1 Just four guys that are just like sitting in newsrooms, just pissed off at the world. Yeah, Collinsworth.
Speaker 5 There were some old vintage Collinsworth clips where he was saying, I don't think this is the right move to bench blood, so like, I don't know about this kid, Brady.
Speaker 5
And Collinsworth had a little bit less hair in the year 2000. Oh, which is interesting.
Interesting.
Speaker 2 Yeah.
Speaker 6 I sent you guys the chart of how the Patriots were built via the Patriots game notes.
Speaker 6 So aside from Slater, no one's been on the team prior to 2015.
Speaker 1 So,
Speaker 1 yeah, but they won three Super Bowls or two Super Bowls. Right.
Speaker 5 Joe Cardona, is he still on the team?
Speaker 6 That was as of this year.
Speaker 5 Yeah, Lawrence Guy.
Speaker 1 He just got cut. Yeah.
Speaker 1
So that was what it was. It wasn't Slater.
He got cut, and they were like, he was on the team for seven years. I was like, huh,
Speaker 1 I wonder at what point you get to
Speaker 1 like no one left.
Speaker 1 Okay. Hank, you ready? Yeah,
Speaker 1 there's only like
Speaker 1 six, right?
Speaker 1
Very few. Yeah.
Very few.
Speaker 1 Okay.
Speaker 1 Ready, Hank? Yeah. You starting at 10 or 1?
Speaker 3 10. What do you want me to start? Start at 10.
Speaker 1 I want you to start at 6. Go 6 to 1, 10, 9, 8, 7.
Speaker 1 1, 2.
Speaker 2 All right.
Speaker 3 Number 6.
Speaker 3 A lot of the defense,
Speaker 3 a lot of the defense I took from
Speaker 3
the early dynasty. Okay.
But this one guy,
Speaker 3
two Super Bowls you wouldn't have won without him. He stopped Marshawn Lynch on the one-yard line, basically arm-tackled the guy, then took him down.
Wow. And he forced a fumble against the Falcons.
Speaker 1 Malcolm Butler.
Speaker 3 Dante Hightower. Oh.
Speaker 1 Whoops.
Speaker 3 Two plays where, like, when you're watching him, you're like, we need a miracle.
Speaker 1 He's the guy. He's the guy.
Speaker 3
He's number six. Number six.
Wow.
Speaker 1 It's pretty high. Can't wait to see who's 5-4-3-2.
Speaker 5 Should we debut this one by one? Should we just do number six? Tune in on Friday? Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 Okay. Number five will be on Friday.
Speaker 1
Good start. Good start, Hank.
Number six. Tante Hi Tom.
Make a big thread out of this. That was huge.
Speaker 3
Yeah, but then people are going to get in my head. But no, I know you have your listeners.
You have it locked in.
Speaker 1 Send it to Jake and he'll make sure it stays locked in.
Speaker 1 Tune in Friday. We just
Speaker 6 got what I was saying about the Netflix thing. Yeah.
Speaker 1 It's going to be one thing and people are going to be pissed.
Speaker 5
This is how you do off-season sports radio. Yeah.
Okay. You drag everything out for as long as possible.
Yeah. Like, this is going to be a month-long Hank's top 10 Patriots extremely.
Speaker 1 And we're going to find out one, like...
Speaker 1 We're going to find out one and still have to do 10, 9, 8, 7, 6.
Speaker 5 Who do you think number one is the cat?
Speaker 3 3, 4, 5. Okay, that was six.
Speaker 1 I'm very interested to see who number two is.
Speaker 6 Well, you sent me 12.
Speaker 1 Oh.
Speaker 3
Yeah, well, one's a honorable mention and one's the Lighthouse. I'll spoiler.
Okay.
Speaker 1 But that one doesn't really. The new one?
Speaker 5 Yeah. That hasn't won shit.
Speaker 1 We should have started with our honorable mentions.
Speaker 1 I only have one on the list. What's your honorable mention on Friday? We'll debut Dante Hightower.
Speaker 3
Lee is just my favorite player as a kid. Bethel Johnson, Kicker Turner.
Okay. Electric.
Okay.
Speaker 1 All right.
Speaker 1 So
Speaker 1 five on Friday.
Speaker 3 Five on Friday. All right.
Speaker 1
Defense. Oh.
Teddy Bruski. No.
Mike Rabel. Nope.
Speaker 5 Fince Wolfrick. Nope.
Speaker 1
Dale Rivas. Nope.
Albert Hainsworth. No.
Malcolm Butler. Nope.
Speaker 1 Richard Seymour. Nope.
Speaker 5 Willie McGuinness. Nope.
Speaker 1 Jared Mayo. Nope.
Speaker 3 He's been in
Speaker 1 both episodes.
Speaker 1 I haven't watched yet. He's been in both episodes.
Speaker 3 Owns property.
Speaker 5 Owns property.
Speaker 1
I think that's probably all. Oh, Ty Law.
Yeah.
Speaker 1
No, but we don't know. We don't know who it is.
Number five,
Speaker 1 who's for offense?
Speaker 1 Yep.
Speaker 1 Oh, that's got to be Jules.
Speaker 2 Eric Gronk.
Speaker 3 Receiver and recurring guest of the show.
Speaker 1 It's got to be Jules. All right.
Speaker 3 Cordero Patterson.
Speaker 1 It's Jules.
Speaker 5 Dante Stallworth.
Speaker 1 So Gronk's two or three?
Speaker 5 He's got to be three, and then Brady's got to be two.
Speaker 1 No, Brady's one.
Speaker 5 Bray's one, Bill's two.
Speaker 1 Are these only players? No, players only.
Speaker 1 Players only.
Speaker 3 Players only.
Speaker 1
He wouldn't do Vrabel two. Oh, no, Vince Wolfwork, too.
No. Gronk three, Brady one.
Speaker 5 I think Gronk's probably two, Brady one.
Speaker 3 You have, you guys both have one of those things.
Speaker 1 Okay, all right.
Speaker 5 Well, tune Friday for number five.
Speaker 1 Did you Vince Wolfwork seven through ten?
Speaker 1
Yeah. Wow.
I can't wait till we do. You only won two.
Speaker 3 All right, the big thing that I had, you had to factor in, though, is like.
Speaker 1 Don't tell it. Don't spoil it.
Speaker 3
No, but like my grading system isn't based purely on stats. No, it's just rings is a major factor.
Yeah. Vibes is a major factor.
Speaker 1 There's so many guys that won won three super bowls it's hard to i wouldn't credit them i wouldn't but randomly vibes vibes guy could we get could we get a breakdown so on friday when we do number five can we get like i would like in the balls scale one through five like give us rings give us vibes
Speaker 3 yeah x factor will fork is the only person to win in both dynasties besides birdie obviously but that's a huge it's a big one yeah big i i can't see he won and then he suffered through the bad years which they were good years they did win super bowls
Speaker 1 Super Bowls.
Speaker 3 But he came out the other side.
Speaker 5 Can you imagine the anticipation after Hank debuts his number eight Patriot? And then we have to wait two more days to get the final and last number seven. Seventh?
Speaker 1
Yeah. It's going to be crazy.
All right. A lot of great players.
Yeah. Let's do hot seat cool throw and then we'll get to our interview with Keith Yandle.
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Speaker 3
Hank, my hot seat is Anthony Rendone. Yeah.
People are big mad. I feel like athletes say this exact quote all the time, though.
Speaker 1 Yes.
Speaker 1 Can you read it?
Speaker 3
It does seem like something that's getting a little bit over-exaggerated, but he said, baseball has never been a top priority for me. This is a job.
I do this to make a living.
Speaker 3 My faith, my family come first before this job. So if those things come before it, I'm leaving.
Speaker 3
And people are freaking out. He's got a $245 million contract.
Makes a lot of money. Makes a lot of money.
He doesn't play a lot.
Speaker 3 He also complained earlier in the offseason about wanting the season to be shorter, which is another thing most people want.
Speaker 1 Yeah. But I do feel like that
Speaker 3 all players across the board, it's like a stereotypical answer to be like, my family comes first, no matter what.
Speaker 1 I agree with that. I think the other problem he runs into, not just the money,
Speaker 1
is that he plays for the Angels. And that's like the vibe of the Angels.
The Angels, as an organization, baseball is not their top priority.
Speaker 5
It used to be that way with the Padres, too, for real. But yeah, you can, I think a lot of players feel this way, but you probably shouldn't say it.
Yeah. Like right before the season starts.
Speaker 1 And after you're getting paid that much more. Yeah.
Speaker 5 He never had that problem with him in D.C.
Speaker 1
Great player. Yeah, it also kept on going.
He said, is it a, the reporter said, is it a priority? He said, oh, it's a priority for sure because it's my job. I'm here, aren't I? Do you want to be here?
Speaker 1 I don't want to talk to you guys at 7 in the morning or whatever time it is. That
Speaker 1
ruled. It's relatable.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 So I think maybe that part where he's like, I'm here.
Speaker 5
He also might just, he might have gotten bad vibes from the reporter. True.
And just was giving him the most boring, easy answers ever.
Speaker 1
We don't talk talk about that enough. Bad vibes from a reporter.
That's what that guy who went after Jameis for scoring that touchdown. Yeah, bad vibes.
Speaker 5 Bad vibes.
Speaker 1 Okay, your cool throne?
Speaker 3 My cool throne, Dungeons and Dragons.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 3 We mentioned it, but
Speaker 3 Sunday or Monday was hungover from Sunday.
Speaker 5 Were you hungover from Sunday or were you hungover from the things you did on Sunday?
Speaker 1 You were already hungover. No, you were drunk on Sunday.
Speaker 3 Yeah, so I was hungover yesterday, got back,
Speaker 3 watched the Dungeons and and Dragons. I was like, this is amazing.
Speaker 3 I hadn't seen it yet. The graphics are so good, and I feel like because we, you know, it was kind of during a break, we should give those guys their proper credit.
Speaker 5 Yeah, shout out, Trey.
Speaker 1 Worth the watch.
Speaker 1 They were incredible.
Speaker 1 I watched a good deal of it on Friday when it came out.
Speaker 1
I don't know how they do what they do. No.
It's worth the watch. Go watch it.
Thank you to Tim Woods, our champion.
Speaker 1
We'll probably do another one in, I don't know, four or five months when we get to July 4th. So it was great to have him just around for a day.
I wish we could just hire him to just be a vibes guy.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 5
Just have a game room with Tim Woods. Yeah.
We should go LARPing with him. Yeah, we'll see.
So he might be.
Speaker 1
All right, we'll do that for July 4th as well. Yes, we have to do it.
We have to do it.
Speaker 5 Do like a two-day-long LARP. It would be awesome.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 5 Get dressed up. Yeah.
Speaker 5 Just battle people.
Speaker 1 It sounds awesome. Look at us planning our next vacation, but also planning our next content for vacation.
Speaker 8 Love that.
Speaker 3 My other hots, I mean, embrace debate. I was getting shit.
Speaker 3 These new hats are on sale, and Gaz was saying I can't wear them because it's Chicago. Chicago, Barcelona.
Speaker 1 Chicago, Barcelona. Yeah.
Speaker 3
Barcelona, Chicago. Yeah.
Yeah.
Speaker 1
Those are good hats. Yeah.
Yeah, we have all of our St. Patty's Day merch.
Check it out. Go buy it.
Speaker 3 But now I live in Chicago. I can wear hats.
Speaker 1 We also did our St. Patty's Day merch, very mean.
Speaker 1 We just used Mook's face, who's one of our co-workers, and it's just, it could be any Irish guy. It's like, this is Mook, the leprechaun.
Speaker 5
Oh, have you guys seen the Irish Baby? No. Went viral yesterday? No.
You guys got to check out the just look on Twitter. Search
Speaker 5
Irish Baby. Okay.
It's this Irish baby that's holding a Guinness. And it looks like a 79-year-old.
Oh, yeah.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 5 The Irish Baby Rocks.
Speaker 1 This guy's got some stories to tell.
Speaker 5 That Irish baby could drink me under the table. Yeah.
Speaker 1 Babe, wake up the most Irish baby just dropped.
Speaker 5 Yeah, it's very Irish baby. Love it.
Speaker 5 My hot seat.
Speaker 1 Hank, are you done? Yep.
Speaker 5
My hot seat is Rick Petino. Rick Petino is back, baby.
He's back giving some serious quotes, and he dropped some heat a couple days ago.
Speaker 5 He said, We are so unathletic, we can't guard anybody without fouling.
Speaker 5
For me, I've always enjoyed the first year, and I'm not going to lie to you, this is the most unenjoyable experience of my lifetime. And that's he's got some pretty unenjoyable experiences.
Yes.
Speaker 5
And also some really enjoyable ones, although brief. Yes.
This has been so disappointing. Look, Joel's slow laterally.
He's not fast on the court. Chris Ledlum is slow laterally.
Speaker 5
Sean Conway is slow laterally. Brady's physically weak.
Drissa is slow laterally. And then he started talking shit about the team facilities.
Speaker 1 I mean, they did blow like a 20-point lead, just pug Seton Hall. Yeah.
Speaker 1 I also saw, because he clearly made the guys run. a shitload in the gym after he said finally broke 200 in stamina shooting tonight uh nah alin with 205 sean conway comes close with 190.
Speaker 1 we got to get this drill yeah and do a challenge and see if we get better at stamina shooting yeah like, can we break 200 sandwiches? It's got to be an insanely hard drill.
Speaker 5 If there's two words that come to mind when I think of Rick Petino, it's definitely stamina shooting. Yeah, he walked into that one.
Speaker 1 Yeah, come on, Rick. I slipped on it.
Speaker 5 My cool throne is the Orlando Airport.
Speaker 1 Oh.
Speaker 5 The Orlando airport on the big-time cool throne, they're now selling passes for people to go inside the airport, shop, and dine
Speaker 5 without getting on a plane.
Speaker 6 Chili's is pre-security.
Speaker 5 Chili's already.
Speaker 5 Okay, so you can... Chili's already pre-security.
Speaker 1 Oh, got got it. Okay, well, that's still awesome.
Speaker 5
But it's still awesome. It's still socks that you can go to the airport and eat the finest food.
Yeah, that's not awesome. That could be awesome.
Speaker 1 Wait, the best part about... Do you have to go to the airport and don't go anywhere? The best part.
Speaker 5 Well, we could be.
Speaker 5 I'm going to predict that we're going to see an uptick in airport-related violence because the one thing the airports have going for them right now is you can talk all the shit that you want in an airport bar and nobody's got a weapon.
Speaker 5
You know that no one's got a gun. No one's got a knife there.
Now we're going to see some stabbings in airports, which America is is long overdue for.
Speaker 1
Imagine being late for your flight and in TSA, there's a guy in front of you that just wants to go walk around the airport. Yeah.
Drive you.
Speaker 5 I don't think those guys have to go through TSA.
Speaker 1 Oh, they don't?
Speaker 5
I don't think so. I don't know how it's going to work.
Yeah.
Speaker 1
But yeah, that would... Still would probably have to.
Maybe.
Speaker 1
I got random checked twice on the way home from Mexico. Yeah, the ID check.
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1
Didn't have anything. Kind of always I always feel disappointed for the person when they're checking your bag and you're like, I don't have anything.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 It's like, I kind of wish I had something for you.
Speaker 5 They're never, they know that you don't have anything.
Speaker 1 Right. Like, it'd be cool if you pulled out like a long knife or something.
Speaker 5 Oh, shit. I forgot this.
Speaker 1 Yeah, right. Like, but I'm just like sitting there like, you're going to be disappointed.
Speaker 1 There's nothing.
Speaker 5 I got groped on my way back. Big time groped going through security.
Speaker 1 Higher girl.
Speaker 5
It was a guy. It has to be a guy.
Yeah. So you go through this scanner and then it shot off the alerts right on my dick and then right on my butt.
And the guy looked at it.
Speaker 5
he looked at me, and he was like, I'm going to have to give you an extended pack down now. And he explained what was going to happen.
And then he did it. And they really press.
Speaker 5
Like, it was very awkward being around all these other people. The guy's just, like, ramming his hand into your dick repeatedly.
Yeah. That was tough.
That was a tough move.
Speaker 5 I wish that I had something that I was packing that could be like, oh, shit, yeah, that's my gun. Yeah.
Speaker 5 But no, he was just pressing my balls.
Speaker 1 You know who I saw who's right behind me in security coming back from Mexico? Your guy, Michael Porter Jr. Oh, really?
Speaker 1 I had already burned my You Want to Come On Our Podcast for the month, so I didn't say anything to you.
Speaker 5 You didn't say anything?
Speaker 1
Yeah, I did. I'm still a little gun.
I think you get one of those a month.
Speaker 5 Yeah, did you? If you had like a microphone, Mark Davis. If you had a microphone in your backpack, you could have been like, oh, yeah, they found my microphone.
Speaker 5 I forgot to take that out because I do a podcast.
Speaker 1 Podcast, Michael Porter Jr.
Speaker 5 Michael Porter Jr., if you're interested, new media.
Speaker 1 That's kind of kind of sucked, though, because no one really recognized him. Like, I don't know.
Speaker 5 Just tall. You're an NBA champion.
Speaker 1
I feel like you want to get recognized a little bit. Maybe.
Yeah.
Speaker 5 Yeah. Have you ever been to the Knoxville airport?
Speaker 1 No.
Speaker 5
So that one is... Yes.
That TSA line is impressive. Yes, I have.
Speaker 5 Because they've got, as you're winding through the ropes, they've got all these pictures of guns that they've confiscated from people flying out of that airport.
Speaker 5
And I was like, this is a fuckload of guns. There were like, there were like 10 pictures there.
And then I looked closer, and every single gun had been confiscated within like the last two months.
Speaker 1 Whoa.
Speaker 5 They find a lot of guns at that airport.
Speaker 1 You just forget your gun.
Speaker 6 Have you guys noticed the pre-check pre-check and clear lines being longer than regular?
Speaker 1 Yeah, something dilemma. Yeah, no, no.
Speaker 6 I went to regular this morning.
Speaker 1
No, it's clear plus is coming. Yeah, it's already here.
I'm both. No, no, no.
Plus plus.
Speaker 5 No, it's already here. Clear plus.
Speaker 1 Clear plus plus is coming. Well, whatever they're going to do, they're setting it up so that they're going to make you buy another thing.
Speaker 5
So what I noticed, they rebranded clear as now clear plus. And you get confused when you go to the airport.
It's like, I don't know if I have clear plus. But that means that there's another level
Speaker 5 that implies
Speaker 1
making it harder for TSA and clear so that we are going to buy a new one. You have to, yeah.
It's not really valuable anymore. Savvy by them.
Savvy by them.
Speaker 1 Okay, so my hot seat is the Chicago Cubs because we are on day, I believe, 143
Speaker 1
with Cody Bellinger not being signed. And he is still a free agent.
They had pitchers and catchers. We're getting to the point.
I really, really want the Cubs to sign him. We're getting to the point.
Speaker 1 This is my favorite part of free agency where we have radio hosts offering free things? So, David Kaplan, a friend of mine,
Speaker 1 he said that
Speaker 1 Lou Malnatti's wife has offered free pizza for life for Cody Bellinger if he signs. Is that code?
Speaker 5 Is that like Hillary Clinton QAnon shit?
Speaker 1 Yeah, free pizza for life. I am here right now because I want Cody Bellinger to be a cub.
Speaker 1 I'm going to offer something that I never thought I would offer, and I'm nervous about this because I don't think you'll agree, but I'm going to do it.
Speaker 1 Cody Bellinger, because you're listening to this show,
Speaker 1 if you sign with the Chicago Cubs,
Speaker 1
I will send you Hank's Patriot list 5 through 10. 5-4-3-2-1.
How are you going to get it? Jake.
Speaker 5 And you know what? Ha ha, you idiot.
Speaker 1 You sent it to Jake already. You know what?
Speaker 1 I'm going to match. Yeah.
Speaker 1 I'll send him 5 through 1. Will you send him 10 through 7 to 7?
Speaker 5 10 through 7 plus honorable mention.
Speaker 5 Plus, you get a bonus lighthouse.
Speaker 1 Yeah. You won't have to wait any longer, Cody.
Speaker 1 Please sign with the Cubs.
Speaker 5
So it's Cody, Blake Snell still hasn't signed. There are a few other guys, like big names that haven't signed yet.
I don't know what's going on.
Speaker 1 Why not? Why not? Cody, you can also use our golf simulator at any time.
Speaker 5 To be fair, the owners are poor, and they don't have enough money to pay. Yeah.
Speaker 1
Tom Ricketts, broke boy. Yeah.
I think they're all boris guys, too. No, they are.
They are. They are boris guys.
Yeah. I know Cody's the Boris guy, and I think that's what's really holding it.
Speaker 5 So this is the C-word then.
Speaker 1 I like you, Tom Ricketts, if you pay for Cody Bellinger.
Speaker 5 This would be collusion against Scott Boris.
Speaker 1 Or Scott Boris is colluding against them to then claim counter-colluding.
Speaker 5 So Scott Boris is asking for so much money that he can then say, they're colluding against me, and then he can file a lawsuit against them.
Speaker 1 What if Scott Boris isn't even answering the phone and he's like, they're blackballing you, we're going to take him to court?
Speaker 5
Scott Boris might be texting owners and the owners are just so untech savvy that they don't look at their phones. Yeah.
Like, I don't know how to do the email on the phone.
Speaker 1 Just call me. I think Scott Boris is probably playing it right because all these guys are going to like, once the season starts, be like, would we rather have Cody Bellinger or not? Yeah.
Speaker 1 I think we would. There's good.
Speaker 5 There's a lot of good players out there.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 1
They should actually just do this every year. Boris should just make his own team.
Boris All-Stars. Yeah.
Well, then he'd have to pay them. True.
True.
Speaker 5 But then he gets a 10% cut, so it's really a discount.
Speaker 1
That's true. That's true.
All right. My cool throne is Sidney Sweeney's boobs.
Speaker 1
Oh, why? That picture of her in the red dress, which I was getting shamed for. Like, come on, guys.
The day you stop liking tits, kill me. I think, uh,
Speaker 5 I'm going to say something controversial. Yeah.
Speaker 5 I think Sidney Sweeney's very attractive. Yeah.
Speaker 1 She's in her boobs.
Speaker 5 I think she's a wonderful-looking actress.
Speaker 1
She's hosting us now. What's with guys snitching, dry snitching online now? Oh, yeah.
Welcome to my world. Yeah.
It's bullshit.
Speaker 5 Yeah, I can't like a Miley Cyrus series of pictures from the Grammy Awards.
Speaker 3 Well, this is why the arms should embosh the bonk list.
Speaker 5
No, I think we need to embrace the bonk list. Yeah, like if you're not getting bonked, then there's something wrong with you.
I'm a red-blooded American male, okay?
Speaker 1
People trying to shame me, aids shame me, kids shame me. I like shame me.
Boobs are boobs.
Speaker 5
I hit like on tweets and on pictures on Instagram, not because I'm horny, but because I'm trying to support them. Yeah.
And to be like, hey, great job posting this picture.
Speaker 1 Also, Sydney Sweetie's like the most famous person right now. It's not like a random porn star.
Speaker 1 True.
Speaker 1 What? What? What's that, heck? What? It's not.
Speaker 1 Listen, I am with you.
Speaker 3 Dry cinching shouldn't be happening. Because of the bonk list, I get sent a lot of Big Cat's likes on Instagram, and there's a lot of randoms.
Speaker 1 Put it that way. Not that many.
Speaker 1
Also, R.I.P. Cagney Lynn Carter, porn star, she died.
Why don't we...
Speaker 1 Why don't we do highlight tapes after her?
Speaker 5 She's going to be cremated?
Speaker 1 No, but saying, like...
Speaker 1 Like, when Kobe died all we all we saw was like highlights of kobe yeah mama mentality right
Speaker 1 porn stars don't deserve that they should yeah they should just say
Speaker 1 right it'd be a long day
Speaker 1 without you my yeah
Speaker 5 there i said it she's really hot i think she's very attractive i think she's very talented very talented i think that
Speaker 5 i think that we should do a better job here
Speaker 5 recording um
Speaker 1 is the one
Speaker 1 is the one where she wears like a nun uniform the whole time i think it's a spider-man movie. Oh, isn't there one that just came out where she wears like a nun uniform all time? Yeah.
Speaker 1 I don't think I'm going to see that one.
Speaker 5 I would watch her wearing nun.
Speaker 5 Nun clothes.
Speaker 5 Take that out. That was too horny.
Speaker 6
It's called Immaculate. Immaculate.
And theater's March 22nd.
Speaker 1 No, she is a very good actor. I mean, listen, Euphoria, what was the White Lotus?
Speaker 5 When's that coming back? Yeah, White Lotus needs to be back.
Speaker 1 White Lotus was awesome.
Speaker 5 But don't make us wait in between episodes. Yeah.
Speaker 1 Okay.
Speaker 1 I think they released what the hotel was. It's in like
Speaker 1
something. Yeah.
Yeah, somewhere like that.
Speaker 1 Jake, my hospital. What do you think about Sidney Sweeney's boobs?
Speaker 1
Yeah. Okay.
All right. Nice.
There's Jake's review.
Speaker 5
It's Mr. Position.
That's a yeah. Hey, Max, what do you think about Sidney Sweeney's boobs?
Speaker 1
Out on them. Yeah, you're out.
No, I like them.
Speaker 5 Yeah, how much do you like them?
Speaker 1 They're nice boobs.
Speaker 1 For a while, we were shaming women for their breast size.
Speaker 5 I think Hank was talking about Madam Webb, by the way.
Speaker 1 Oh,
Speaker 1 that's the.
Speaker 1
Spider-Man. I don't see that either.
How's she just in every movie? She's hard-working, incredibly hard-working. She's in three movies in the past three months.
Yeah, she's incredibly hard-working.
Speaker 1 Jake, your hot seat cool turned on.
Speaker 6 My hot seat's Notre Dame. We had the official announcement of how the college football playoff is going to construct their 12-team bracket, and it was announced.
Speaker 6 that the four highest-ranked conference champions will be seeds one through four, which means if Notre Dame is the best team in the country, I thought it was five.
Speaker 5 They would get that number five. I think it's five, yeah.
Speaker 1
So they're five seats, yes. Five seats.
So Notre Dame, they would get the buy.
Speaker 5 That would be very funny if they just designed these rules and they're like, hey, fuck you, Florida State again. Like,
Speaker 5
we're going to take all the other conferences. But yeah, Notre Dame.
Well, there's only four left.
Speaker 1 Pager.
Speaker 5 Yeah. Notre Dame,
Speaker 5 are they going to have to join the ACC?
Speaker 1 I think they would join the Big Ten before the ACC.
Speaker 5 And then so they take all their other sports out of the ACC.
Speaker 1 Yeah, because I don't think the ACC is long for this world. Yeah.
Speaker 1 It would be crazy if they joined the ACC.
Speaker 5 So that would be wild, though, if
Speaker 5 they joined the Big Ten,
Speaker 5
then you'd have like Notre Dame, Michigan, Ohio State. Only one of them would get the top seed.
Correct.
Speaker 1 Yeah, wild. Also, this is a good way to do it.
Speaker 6 Big guy, I'm surprised you didn't put Justin Fields on the Bears on your host.
Speaker 1
Oh, yeah. Well, Jake, funny you say that.
He unfollowed the Bears. You know, he didn't unfollow me.
Sick. Yeah.
I didn't know. Tom Fernelli actually told me that.
Speaker 3 That was my other thing watching the dynasty document.
Speaker 1 Oh, that wasn't about the Patriots. Well, no, I'm wondering, like, it's like like it was it was good that the that Brady had time to develop.
Speaker 3 He wasn't Tom Brady. You know even that was his second year in the league.
Speaker 3 If you have a rookie quarterback with a lot of pressure it's it's hard.
Speaker 1 That was an incredible segue.
Speaker 3 I was thinking about you when I was watching that documentary being like damn Justin Fields.
Speaker 5 I really wish we could somehow like take events that happened in the past, bring them to modern day, and know what the discourse would be around them.
Speaker 5 Because the Tom Brady game manager Super Bowl winning discourse would be so fun to play.
Speaker 3 Oh, they threw that line in, too. And, like, Tom Brady's doing a really good job managing this game in one of the game hypotheses.
Speaker 1 He would have been going crazy for it.
Speaker 5 But, yeah, that's a good point about the Bears Hank.
Speaker 1 Yeah, Justin Fields did unfollow the Bears.
Speaker 1
Yeah, I don't think it's, I think he's probably going to get traded. So, that's what I'm saying.
Like I said, I mean, it could mean literally anything.
Speaker 5 So, it sounds like you're going to get Caleb.
Speaker 1
Yeah, it could mean anything like he doesn't want to play for the Bears anymore. That could be one of the things.
Or he hates the Bears.
Speaker 5 It's the most common thing.
Speaker 1 It means all of these things.
Speaker 5 I think is the this is my least favorite recurring storyline in sports when an athlete unfollows his teammates and like the team official account on social media platforms and then people do it in a story and it's like what does it mean well it means that he did that because he wanted you to see that he did that and then to make a story out of it also
Speaker 1 maybe it's just as simple as justin fields doesn't want to watch bears highlights in his offseason because there's not a lot of them yeah that's true like well he's like i just i kind of want to opt out on this content for the content was bad well you you could mute.
Speaker 6 You could mute it, and it wouldn't be a story.
Speaker 5
You could mute it. I would never unfollow any professional team that I played for.
No. It's like once always.
Speaker 5
Who unfollows people on social media? Like, if I follow you on Instagram, I'm never unfollowing ever. Ever.
I'm too lazy to do that.
Speaker 1
Even if you are a porn star and die. Yeah.
I'll keep that responsibility.
Speaker 5 Because what if one day it posts again? Right.
Speaker 5 That's got to be such a nice surprise. Yeah.
Speaker 1 All right, Jake, your cool throne?
Speaker 6 My cool throne is the shot of a lifetime.
Speaker 1 Oh.
Speaker 6 I'm back in the booth.
Speaker 1 Jake is for some golf. Nice.
Speaker 6 Next week on PGA Tour Live.
Speaker 1 Wow.
Speaker 6
Hell yes. I'll be doing a couple of events with them this season.
First up, the Cognizant Classic in the Palm Beaches.
Speaker 5 We've got a great field that have committed so far.
Speaker 1
Rory. Oh.
Ricky. Oh.
Speaker 6 Matthew Fitzpatrick who's been on the show.
Speaker 1 No Max.
Speaker 5 I don't think we're going to get Max.
Speaker 1
Fuck. Yeah.
But.
Speaker 5 He probably has diarrhea butt from last week from all that In-N-Out. Was it the In-N-Out that gave people the shits? Is that what was happening?
Speaker 1 They were claiming for Tiger. Also, you didn't eat In-N-Out in Vegas, Hank.
Speaker 1 You've changed.
Speaker 3
Oh, you did? Yeah. Okay.
Me and Jerry went after the dropkin shoot.
Speaker 6
Yeah. So tune in.
Oh, yeah.
Speaker 1
Come on, I was with you. Yeah.
Yeah. I was worried that you didn't.
No. That's awesome, Jake.
Everyone, tune in. Thank you.
Speaker 1
It did give me the shits. Oh, no.
So I'm going to get back on the run.
Speaker 5 Who else is on the call, Jake?
Speaker 6 TBD.
Speaker 1 Also, shout out the Water Dogs finishing second. Good job, Mac.
Speaker 1 You fucking loser. You said you wanted to lose.
Speaker 5 Let's go, Philly.
Speaker 1
Yeah, well, things change. It's called material change.
Nope. It's called Fluidity.
Speaker 5 I think it's perfect.
Speaker 1
Yeah, no, I didn't want to win that. I did not want to win that.
It was fake. Let's win the real thing.
Right?
Speaker 5 It's preseason. What are the Ravens? No, we want to win the Ravens.
Speaker 6 This is basically the equivalent of the in-season tournament.
Speaker 1
Don't want to win that either. You still hang a banner.
No. And it means something.
No, it does not. But it does not mean anything when you win the in-season tournament.
Speaker 5
Oh, yeah. Max does have to hang a banner second place.
Yeah, no,
Speaker 5 we agreed upon that, Max.
Speaker 1 I never agreed on anything.
Speaker 5 We agreed on it.
Speaker 1
You agreed on it. Oh, I did agree on it.
You agreed on it.
Speaker 5 Hang the banner.
Speaker 1 Hang the banner. Hang the banner, bitch.
Speaker 1 Okay.
Speaker 1
Let's get to our interview with Keith Endel. Great interview.
Talking hockey. Before we do that, PFT, you got a quick word from one of our sponsors.
Give it up for Chicago.
Speaker 11 Sebastian Meniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.
Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep
Speaker 2 coming.
Speaker 11 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.
Speaker 5 And now, here's Keith Yandel.
Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on our very good friend, recurring guest. It is Keith Yandel,
Speaker 1
many-year hockey pro. How many years? 13? 13-year hockey pro in the NHL? 16.
16 years. So, Yans,
Speaker 1 I want to give Yans credit off the bat.
Speaker 1 It's the perfect spit and chiclets universe, okay? Down to you. You come in at the end here.
Speaker 1
Biz was supposed to come on. He was feeling under the weather because he had to work two days in a row.
So I was like, he texted me this this morning. He's like, hey, I can't do it.
I'm feeling sick.
Speaker 1
So I texted Wit. Wit's on a boat in Florida.
And he's like, right after the boat, I'm going to golf. And he's like, but Yans is the best.
I was like, yeah, I know Yans is the best.
Speaker 1 So I texted you, and you came to our rescue, but you also gave me a little nugget of information that you have never in your life owned a computer.
Speaker 2 Yeah, never have, never will. I think it's the most civilian thing you can ever do.
Speaker 5 So what are you doing this on right now?
Speaker 1 His wife's computer.
Speaker 2 My wife's.
Speaker 1 What does that mean? You've never owned a computer. You've never wanted to own a computer?
Speaker 2 No, no. Zero interest.
Speaker 2 Until I have to get a real job.
Speaker 1 That's your computer, though.
Speaker 5 Like, if it's your wife's computer, that's a family computer, right?
Speaker 2 No, it's like her work
Speaker 2 laptop.
Speaker 1 So us calling you up, like, she's got to take a break from work right now because you got to use the one computer in your house.
Speaker 2 Well, the kids have them too, but I think they're at school with them.
Speaker 2 Yeah.
Speaker 2 And
Speaker 2 I was on a boat and golf this morning, but still found a way to make this show.
Speaker 1 That's a grinder.
Speaker 5 That's a hockey player. What about growing up? Like growing up, you didn't have a computer for book reports, things like that?
Speaker 2 No. Did you guys have computers? Actually,
Speaker 2 we got one when I got drafted. It was like, because...
Speaker 2
The year I got drafted was the lockout year. So they did it all online.
And my parents went out and bought a computer
Speaker 2 to see where I was going to get drafted.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 1 I mean, we are all of similar age, and it was, I remember we got our first computer in my house like, maybe it was like late, late 90s, and it was just one computer for everyone.
Speaker 1
So like when you start looking poor and you're like, oh, this is going to be bad. You get a virus.
You're like, fuck the next person.
Speaker 1 Like my mom's going to look up a recipe on this computer and there's going to be pop-ups everywhere. That was just, you had to go through some shit with the one family computer.
Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. It was a grind downloading on Napster, just hearing your dad coming up the stairs trying to delete things.
Speaker 2 It wasn't good.
Speaker 1 So, wait, when you were on the road for 16 years at the NHL, you never like, hey, maybe I should get a computer. Like, what did you do when you were on planes? Like, watch a movie?
Speaker 1 You just don't have a computer.
Speaker 2 Well, when it first started, it was, remember, everyone had those DVD players that like you flip up and then there'd be a...
Speaker 2 So everyone would buy their own DVD player and then there'd be a ton of DVDs on the plane.
Speaker 2 So I'd just bring that. And then,
Speaker 2 i i mean i have a uh um ipad oh okay okay that's computer adjacent does the ipad have like the the keyboard that connects to it no god no i can't even type
Speaker 2 i love it because i fall asleep to my ipad i have it on like the desk next to my bed and i uh i just i i strictly have it for that i have netflix amazon um
Speaker 2 HBO, whatever, just on that just to watch before bed.
Speaker 5 We got to get a typing contest between you and Biz because even though Biz owns, I'm assuming he's owned several computers in his lifetime, I think you could still beat him.
Speaker 2 Yeah, his buttons are probably all stuck together, though.
Speaker 2 That's facts.
Speaker 1
That's facts from the flu. All right, so we wanted Jan's on to talk a little hockey.
So
Speaker 1
we're now getting to the end of February. We're getting, what, a month and a half away from playoff hockey.
My first question was, what is the dog days of hockey?
Speaker 1 What part of the season, because we know it with, you know, football season you'll get to mid-season and you'll see some guys hitting the wall baseball you get to like mid early mid-August and it's like oh man this is a grind what is that in the calendar for hockey players i think they've gotten a lot better with it um especially you know my first you know maybe seven ten years that it was just
Speaker 2 a grind especially i was we were on some bad teams in phoenix and guys are getting traded guys are hearing about getting traded so there's a lot there's a lot of stuff going on behind the scenes where you're like, oh, God, you know, every day is just kind of like, and that was before the old,
Speaker 2
nowadays you get four days off a month. That was before that.
So you were practicing every day if your team was bad. But nowadays, it seems like, you know, the teams are well aware of that.
Speaker 2 And, you know, they're putting together whether it's, you know, family trips,
Speaker 2 mother trips, father trips, siblings trips.
Speaker 2 I think they're doing a lot of good things like that. But I remember a couple of times in Phoenix, you know, we would go to Vegas for a couple days, kind of have a team bonding,
Speaker 2 play some golf, hit the casino. Um, you know, New York was really good with it as well.
Speaker 2 If you had a couple couple games where you're in strictly cold weather, we'd come down to Florida a couple days early to golf or whatever.
Speaker 2 Um, so I think I think the league or the teams have done a really good job, and it's probably because a lot of GMs are ex-players now, so they kind of realize that those dog days are real. Um,
Speaker 2 but I think think the majority of the thing is keeping it.
Speaker 2
The best thing was to have a rookie party around this time. But if your team's out of it, then, you know, the coach is like, all right, we can't go too hard.
You guys are playing like shit.
Speaker 2 And then if you're, you know, at the top of the ranks, then you're like, all right, we don't want to go too hard. We don't want to take our foot off the pedal here.
Speaker 2 So it's kind of a little bit of a gray area in both.
Speaker 2 It seems to me the last, you know, probably 10 years, the league's gotten really good about kind of taking care of these dog days and making things light and easy for the guys.
Speaker 5 Yeah, you were talking about the rookies. The guy on the Bruins that made his debut yesterday, is it Morelli?
Speaker 5
Yeah. Yeah, so he scored in his debut.
And I was watching it. I thought to myself, like, I feel like there's a lot of rookies who score in their debut.
Speaker 5 Is that a thing I'm making up or is that an actual thing in the NHL?
Speaker 2 It does seem a little bit more nowadays. Before it was, I think, my first game, I probably played seven minutes.
Speaker 2 But, you know, nowadays that they're throwing guys into the fire getting guys getting guys right into it playing on the top lines you know not really putting guys on fourth lines where they don't aren't getting chances so i think uh they're setting guys up for for for success but yeah it definitely definitely seems that way and how about the kid in in new york playing his first game the outdoor game fought first second of the game um I think it was on the anniversary of his dad passing away like six years before that too.
Speaker 2 So that was a cool story as well.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, hockey always has those cool stories that pop up. I wanted to go back.
Speaker 1 When you said, you know, you played on some bad teams, how much does this part of the season suck if you're a bad team? Because I know like the Blackhawks are a very bad team.
Speaker 1 Conor Bradard obviously just came back, which is good. But
Speaker 1 are guys like this just fucking sucks. I want to get out of here so bad.
Speaker 12 Yeah,
Speaker 2 you see a lot of guys either planning to go play world championships or planning their summer vacation right after the season. So it's it's tough.
Speaker 2 And then the worst part is if your team's bad, then at the end of the day, it means people are going to get traded and you're losing friends. You got to pack up your family and move.
Speaker 2
So a lot of things like that. And then teams are bringing up guys from the minors.
Then you're worried about your job.
Speaker 2 So there's no real downtime. If your team's playing bad, you still got to produce and go out there and give 100% effort.
Speaker 2 But there's definitely some times during the seasons where you're like, oh, man, we're really doing this again.
Speaker 5 I can imagine, yeah. Especially like around this time of year where if there's no real light at the end of the tunnel, you're just like, I guess I got to be a pro.
Speaker 5 I guess I have to show that I'm professional.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 12 Yeah, you're waiting for the 15th and 30th payday.
Speaker 1 Yeah, pretty good. Pretty good.
Speaker 5 We have this debate with every hockey guest that we have on here. What is the difference between an upper and a lower body injury?
Speaker 12 I think
Speaker 2 anything below the belly button is a lower body injury and anything above the belly button is an upper body injury.
Speaker 5 Okay, I agree with that because we've had people that say waist, and I think that's bullshit.
Speaker 5 I think it's the belly button.
Speaker 2 All right, so we're on the same page.
Speaker 1 Yeah, good call. Did you ever get injured and you were like, Can I just say what it is? This is bullshit.
Speaker 1
Like, people don't, because sometimes I'll see like an upper body injury and be like, oh, he can get back out there. But, like, no, his shoulder's broken.
Why don't they just say that?
Speaker 2 Yeah, I don't know why, because at the end of the day, that the other teams know, like,
Speaker 2 you know, if a guy's shoulders hurt, the way he's, you know, lumbering around out there, or if his knees hurt, especially now with video, you see a guy going into the boards the wrong way.
Speaker 2 You're like, oh, he hurt his knee there, or hurt his ankle, or hurt his shoulder. So
Speaker 2 I think throughout the league, everyone kind of knows, but I don't know why they don't say it in the media, but it's kind of one of those cool things that hockey does where it keeps guys on the wrap.
Speaker 2 I think originally it started so, you know, if guys were up for a contract, then, you know, they couldn't use it against you.
Speaker 1 Oh,
Speaker 1 I like that.
Speaker 5 I always assume it was so that the other team wouldn't target you. If they knew it was a knee, then somebody might make a run at your knee.
Speaker 2 Yeah, but everyone on the ice knows if you're hurt. I mean, by this time in the season, pretty much everybody's hurt.
Speaker 2 Anyways, you have some lingering bruises or, you know, something you're not feeling 100%.
Speaker 2 So
Speaker 2 every single guy's feeling something right now. But yeah,
Speaker 2 it's interesting to see.
Speaker 2 If they ever come out and go away with it and tell you what exactly the injury is, I'll be interested to see if they ever do do that.
Speaker 1 Was there ever a season or a guy who just wouldn't get injured?
Speaker 1 Because I feel like everyone knows that one guy who just never, you know, the kid who never broke any of his bones playing sports or, you know, that one guy who just is, for some reason, he never gets injured.
Speaker 1 Would you guys all look at him and be like, fuck you, dude? Like, we're all dealing with something and you're fresh.
Speaker 2 Well, I was, I had the Iron Man streak until Phil Kessel broke it.
Speaker 1 So you were the guy that everyone hated?
Speaker 2 Probably, but
Speaker 2
I don't know. Cause, I mean, I didn't really play the type of game where I was putting myself in vulnerable spots.
And,
Speaker 2 you know, yeah, there was a lot of guys.
Speaker 2 I think every guy plays with, you know, as much pain as they can. And it's usually the doctors or the trainers that have to tell you you can't go.
Speaker 2 I've never seen a guy go in and be like, hey, I can't play tonight.
Speaker 2 It's usually they have to drag you off the ice and, you know, notice you can't tie your skates because your fingers are broken or something like that.
Speaker 2 So it's usually the doctors or the GM and trainers that make that decision for guys because hockey players are a
Speaker 2 stubborn bunch of groups.
Speaker 1
Yeah, we learned that in Mighty Ducks. Yeah.
We had Adam Banks hold the stick and he had to rotate. And they're like, no, you can't go, dude.
Speaker 5 What was the dumbest injury you played through?
Speaker 2 The dumbest one.
Speaker 2 Looking back, when I was in New York,
Speaker 2 I had a grade three separation. I got a first game of the playoffs, and we ended up going to game seven of the Eastern Conference Finals.
Speaker 2 So every day I was shooting it, or not every day, every game I was shooting it up.
Speaker 2 You know, having to have the trainers help me put my jersey on,
Speaker 2 things like that.
Speaker 2
But it's also, it's during playoffs. So you just want to be out there.
You want to be playing. You want to be contributing.
Speaker 2 But that one was probably the worst one. And getting back healthy from that one took a little bit longer because it was
Speaker 2 something I was dealing with for quite a bit.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 5 Jens, I know that you're a sports fan. You're deep, balls deep in the discourse about other sports, too.
Speaker 5 We've had some discussions about how analytics might be ruining or might be improving football, basketball, and how. Running basketball.
Speaker 5 Ruining basketball, I think improving, but also ruining football because big guys can't get NFL head coaching jobs anymore. But in the NHL,
Speaker 5 what impact has the analytics revolution had on the sport? Is it good or is it bad?
Speaker 2 I hate it.
Speaker 1 I know nothing.
Speaker 1 Too many computers. Guy who doesn't know a computer, that's a shocker.
Speaker 2 I probably wasn't a great analytic guy either, but it also doesn't contribute to the good times in the locker room or on the road. So you're not getting that in analytics.
Speaker 2 But yeah, I was never a big fan.
Speaker 2 I think there's
Speaker 2 some good things about it, I guess. But I honestly couldn't even tell you one, what an analytic really is.
Speaker 1 I love that.
Speaker 1 If you walked past an analytic on the street, you you would not recognize it.
Speaker 2 Absolutely not.
Speaker 2
They have a whole team, like a whole group of people within the teams now that kind of take care of that. And they're literally just in their computers all day.
It's like, just go get a real job.
Speaker 1 The one thing that analytics has done in hockey is it's ruined the shoot the puck guy in the stands because they, I feel like teams are a lot more selective with their shots.
Speaker 1 They won't shoot from bad angles like they used to, where it's like pucks on net. It's like, no, you got to get the good shots.
Speaker 12 I don't know.
Speaker 2 I kind of disagree with that because I remember guys would, you know, you take a shot on net is considered a good thing for your analytics, like the zone time and stuff like that.
Speaker 2 So some guys, you know, guys would shoot it from the corner just to shoot on the net and you'd get back to the bench. Guys would be like, oh, what are you patting your fucking analytic?
Speaker 1
Oh, so maybe I'm wrong. Yeah.
Maybe I don't know an analytic in hockey either.
Speaker 2 Yeah, but
Speaker 2 the shoot guy is the worst,
Speaker 2 the worst thing you can have at a hockey game, especially as a guy that I never, I wasn't a big shooter. I was more of a passer, but the shoot guy is the worst.
Speaker 1 Oh, I love the shoot the puck guy because that guy sitting in the stands being like every shot in his head goes in. So I was like, why not shoot the puck?
Speaker 5 Good things happen. Yeah.
Speaker 1 I'm big on it in soccer, too. Like, why not just fucking shoot the ball?
Speaker 2 They should shoot more.
Speaker 1
I agree with you. Yes, yes.
Shoot the ball. Just fucking kick it.
All right. So I know it's tough in hockey because hockey is the one playoffs where you get crazy runs.
Speaker 1 You get eight seeds winning the stanley cup uh but if we're sitting right here right now give me the list of teams that you could see winning the stanley cup this year it could go as long or as short as you want it to all right i'll i'll just do two i'll do two from the east two from the west oh i like to
Speaker 2 i'm gonna do uh
Speaker 2 florida i i think that especially what they did last year what they've done this year um
Speaker 2 you know even missing missing uh you know two of their best defensemen earlier in the year just playing the way that they have I think Bobrovsky's been amazing.
Speaker 2 Barkov, Sam Reinhart's got
Speaker 2 30-something goals.
Speaker 2 Just a hard team to play against.
Speaker 2 You watch their games, and it's fucking old school hockey.
Speaker 2 Stop in front of the net, cross-checking guys in the face. It's great.
Speaker 2 So I got them and the Rangers
Speaker 2 coming out of the East that I like both. I think the Rangers have a ton of depth up front.
Speaker 2 You know, goaltending has been, you know, I think Shasturkin,
Speaker 2 well, Jonathan Quick has been amazing for them.
Speaker 2 I think Shasterkin could be a little better, but it's one of those things when you get into playoffs and you have a guy like Shasterkin who's as good as he is.
Speaker 2
If he goes on a run, it's, you know, it could be game over for them. And then out West, I really like Dallas.
I liked them a lot last year, too.
Speaker 2 You know, with Ottinger, I think he's one of the best goalies in the league. He's a young guy,
Speaker 2 had a good run last year, but I think he's just going to continue to get more confident in the playoffs. I think they have a great,
Speaker 2 you know,
Speaker 2
older guys and younger guys kind of leading that team. Guys with Jamie Benn and then Robinson with the younger guys, Rupe Hence.
It's, you know, they're a fun team to watch.
Speaker 2 And then, you know, I think
Speaker 2 it's hard to bet against Vegas, but I think Colorado, the way that they're buzzing this year,
Speaker 2 you know, if they could get Landiscog back for playoffs, you know, that would be a huge, a huge ad for them. But it's also too, a lot of these teams,
Speaker 2 you know, I feel more and more the trade deadline, you know, it used to be the top four teams are going out and making huge splashes.
Speaker 2 I think teams nowadays are kind of sticking with what they have gotten them there,
Speaker 2 you know, kind of trusting within.
Speaker 2 So it'll be interesting to see the trade deadline, what teams are doing.
Speaker 2 But
Speaker 2
I think a lot of pieces are out there too. Also, Vancouver, too, Vancouver, what they've done this year.
But
Speaker 2 I don't think Canada is going to win a Stanley Cup anytime soon.
Speaker 1 Yeah, the trade deadline being in March is pretty crazy.
Speaker 5 It is wild. Yeah.
Speaker 1 Because it's just like that's that's very late, it feels like in the season where you're looking around and it's like you got what, a month before the playoffs and you can still make a move.
Speaker 12 Yeah, and you see more and more.
Speaker 2
I think teams are making trades earlier rather than waiting to the trade dead. There used to be 50 trades every trade deadline.
Now it's, you know, there's not many.
Speaker 2 So I think teams are doing it earlier as opposed to late nowadays. We saw a big trade
Speaker 2 with Calgary and Vancouver
Speaker 2 right before the All-Star game. So
Speaker 2 I think teams are going a little bit more towards getting guys in, having them get comfortable
Speaker 2 and getting adjusted to the team system.
Speaker 1 So you didn't say Conor McDavid and the Oilers.
Speaker 1 Whitney's told us that he's the greatest player to ever play
Speaker 1 any sport.
Speaker 1 Wouldn't he have won a championship by now?
Speaker 12 I know.
Speaker 2 I agree.
Speaker 2 MJ won his first one at, what, 26?
Speaker 1 I think it was maybe 27, yeah.
Speaker 2 27.
Speaker 2 How old is McJesus? I think he's younger than that, right?
Speaker 1 Connor McDavid.
Speaker 5 But he's better than MJ. That's what he's doing.
Speaker 1 He's 27 years old.
Speaker 2 Is he 20, so this is the year.
Speaker 2 I think that they're
Speaker 2 in the, I think their goaltending might hurt them a little bit. Obviously, the run that they've been on since the beginning of the season when they were absolute dog shit, they've been great.
Speaker 2 I think McDavid and Dry Settle can lead any team to victory, but I think their goaltending is a,
Speaker 2 you know, it's just not quite there. But you look at the last, you know, a few Stanley Cup winners besides Tampa with
Speaker 2 Vasilevsky, a lot of these teams, you know, a goalie comes out of nowhere and helps them win. Vegas, I think, was on their third string goalie last year.
Speaker 2
Even St. Louis when Bennington came in out of nowhere and won them a cup.
You know, even Chicago, and they wanted, you know, they had they had Crawford, who was an amazing goalie, but he wasn't
Speaker 2
a top three goalie in the league. He wasn't making the most money in the league.
So I think a lot of it.
Speaker 2 If your goalie gets hot, obviously you got a good chance, but I don't see it as much in Edmonton. If I had to take a Canadian team, it would be Vancouver and mostly because of their goaltending.
Speaker 2 You know, with Demko, he's amazing and America.
Speaker 5 So you haven't mentioned the Leafs, and it feels like every year I fall for the Leafs bullshit because they always have some bullshit where it's like, oh, yeah, this is the year they could put together.
Speaker 5 They've got a lot of talent. Austin Matthews, probably like right now, the hottest player of the NHL.
Speaker 5 Give me a reason why the Leafs will not win the Stanley Cup.
Speaker 2 To be honest, I think it would strictly be because
Speaker 2 their fan base is too hard on them.
Speaker 1 I think
Speaker 2 some of those teams, like
Speaker 2 I worked in Toronto last year doing SportsNet, and they have one bad period, a one bad game. They're sell the farm, you know, you know, blow up the team, get rid of everyone.
Speaker 2 I think Brad Tree Living and Shane Doane, what they've done since getting in there in management have been really good, just kind of settling things down, getting guys accountable.
Speaker 2 I think they look a lot better better this year as a team.
Speaker 2
Obviously, what Austin Matthews is doing is insane right now. He's got 50 goals, right, in 54 games.
It's unbelievable what this guy's doing
Speaker 2 with how good the goalies are, you know, how much team scout players.
Speaker 2 Everyone, you know, is
Speaker 2 fully aware what he can do to you every night, but no matter what, he can still find a way to score. But I just don't know if they can get past that hump and win it this year.
Speaker 2 I actually would love to see them win it. I think it would be great for the game.
Speaker 2 They put on, I was up there a couple weeks ago for All-Star Weekend. They put on an amazing show, but
Speaker 2 yeah, I think their fans just need to be a little bit nicer to the players.
Speaker 1
I love that. I love that.
They're Eagles fans.
Speaker 5 Definitely not an analytics guy. What's the reason that Leafs can't win the CNA Cup? Their fans are assholes.
Speaker 1 They're too mean. Yeah, it sounds like they're Eagles fans, where it's like you, you know, first sign of bad things, like fire everyone.
Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah like max yeah exactly like max by the way connor mcdavid is incredible i got to see him in person uh like three weeks ago and it is insane watching him play in person because you're like holy fuck he's just so much faster than everyone it's
Speaker 1 if you took if you took someone to their first ever hockey game and it was connor mcdavid they just they would immediately be like that guy why is he so different than everyone else
Speaker 12 Yeah,
Speaker 2 I did a hockey camp this summer with my brother, and we had some seven-year-olds, eight-year-olds, and we're doing a scrimmage or keep away.
Speaker 2 And I was kind of just going full speed trying to keep it away from these guys. And
Speaker 2 it looks easier for McDavid keeping it away from NHL players than it did for me with seven-year-olds.
Speaker 2
He's on a different level. It's unbelievable how fast he is, how controlled, how controlled he is with the puck while he's skating 100 miles an hour.
It's just, he's an impressive player. And
Speaker 2 I think
Speaker 2 Wit saying that he's the best athlete ever is not far-fetched.
Speaker 2 I think what he's doing to hockey is insane right now. And,
Speaker 2 you know, hopefully he can get a championship at some time.
Speaker 1 Well, so, I mean, we asked Wit this, and we can ask you, like, if he's the best player in the world right now, why does he come off the ice?
Speaker 2
Good question. Very good question.
Yeah.
Speaker 5 How many minutes does LeBron play per night?
Speaker 1 Yeah. Patrick Mahomes doesn't miss a snap.
Speaker 5 A lot more.
Speaker 2
I think just strictly because he's a good teammate. He wants to get his guys out there.
He knows that there's, you know, 21 other guys that got to make a living.
Speaker 2 So he's probably just out there being a good teammate, just letting guys get a touch.
Speaker 2 But
Speaker 2
if anyone could play the whole game, it would probably be him. But I was actually, I was...
just away talking with one of my buddies who knows nothing about hockey.
Speaker 2 And he was like, how come you guys only stay out there for 30 seconds? And
Speaker 2 it's a good question, but
Speaker 2 it's it's a tiring 30 seconds.
Speaker 2 You're getting leaned on by big, heavy guys. You're skating as fast as you can.
Speaker 2 If you stay out there for more than a minute, no matter how good a shape you are, you're dead.
Speaker 1 Yeah,
Speaker 1 when you're in the defensive zone,
Speaker 1 what time is it like, this is, we're so fucked? Because there is nothing better in playoff hockey, especially when a team can get...
Speaker 1 You know, they're in the zone for so long and they can't clear the puck and you're just like watching guys die.
Speaker 1 At what moment like what time in that where you're like i'm so fucked it's going to be a goal there's nothing we can do yeah it's called the graveyard shift you're just
Speaker 2 trying not to die and biz says it all the time he's like you lose oxygen to your brain you don't know what you're doing the puck comes to you you give it to the other team when you know if you had any any uh if you had some freshness in your legs or in your brain you would you would make a good play but when when those are happening when you're on the ice when you're uh when the team's snapping around you can't get you can't get out of the zone you can't get a whistle it's one of the worst feelings in the world and i pro my analytics are probably very high for being out there for those shifts what's the longest you've ever been on the ice
Speaker 2 i don't know uh
Speaker 2 in the nhl probably you know two or three minutes um whether it's you know empty nets empty i mean there's probably obviously whistles and stuff like that too but uh you know end of games when you're when you're out there if there's a power play, you're staying the full two minutes.
Speaker 2 But yeah, probably two and a half, three minutes. Oh, I really.
Speaker 1
Sounds like a long ass time. I'm looking right now.
Last year, Jack Hughes broke the record. He had a shift of six minutes and two seconds.
Damn. That's insane.
That's insane.
Speaker 2 That's unreal. Good for him.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 5 Hey, I got a question for you. How come whenever the puck goes out of play, everybody on the ice just puts their hands up in the air and like yells at the ref like the ref didn't see it?
Speaker 2 For a penalty.
Speaker 5 Oh, if it just delay a game.
Speaker 1 No, they're trying to be like, hey, it went out.
Speaker 2
Yeah, they're just trying to say, I don't know. That's actually, that's a good question.
Everyone does it. You're 100% right.
Speaker 2 It's probably just to make sure that, because a lot of times it could get tipped by a stick or hit a piece of the glass. And if it hits the glass or a stick, then it's not a penalty.
Speaker 2 So I think when everyone's pointing, it's kind of just a indication to tell the ref that it went straight out and it should be a penalty.
Speaker 1 I always assumed it's no different than when there's a fumble in football and everyone points to their direction. It's like no one actually knows.
Speaker 1 They're just trying to get the ref to be like, oh yeah, he pointed first.
Speaker 2 Yeah, when they're in the scrummy movie.
Speaker 1
Yeah, yeah, right. If you point first over the glass, like the refs will be like, oh, maybe it did go out.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 But when a guy shoots it over the net, you can, you can, if you see their face, they know exactly what they did.
Speaker 2 That's, that's one of the worst feelings in the world is shooting, shooting one over the, over the glass and getting a penalty.
Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 5 You also didn't mention the Boston Bruins. Curious why they're not on the list.
Speaker 1 I actually,
Speaker 2 in the beginning of the year, I didn't even see them being as good as they are. I thought they were going to be
Speaker 2 a wild card team.
Speaker 2 Very impressed with what they've done this year.
Speaker 2 I thought losing Bergeron was really going to hurt them, but
Speaker 2 what pasta does every year is amazing. Marsh Chant stepping in as a captain this year.
Speaker 2 I also thought they did a good job of bringing in
Speaker 2 some older veteran guys, which not a lot of teams are doing. They brought in JBR, Kevin Chatten Kirk, guys that have been around, guys that know what it takes.
Speaker 2 So I think they did a good job with bringing in older guys to help out their younger guys because you look in the beginning of the year. I think the kid's name's Poitois or something like that.
Speaker 2 He started off hot,
Speaker 2 had a good first 10 games. But when you're young, anyone can have a good 10 games.
Speaker 2 You need those veteran guys around to help you out
Speaker 2 during the dog days of the year like they are now. And
Speaker 2 I think the Bruins did a good job of that. I just, I think the East is going to be tough to
Speaker 2 get out of.
Speaker 2 You saw a little bit last year with the way that they do their two-goalie system
Speaker 2 doesn't quite work in playoffs. You've got to have that one guy.
Speaker 2 So I mean, we'll see. I don't think anyone will want to play them in the playoffs, but I don't see them going on a deep run.
Speaker 2 Probably good that I live in Florida now and not Boston because I'd be getting my head punched in.
Speaker 1
All right. One guy I wanted to bring up because we just saw his jersey get retired in Pittsburgh, Yarmir Yager.
It was awesome. They all wear mullets.
They came out.
Speaker 1 He seems like an absolute legend of a guy. You got to play with him.
Speaker 1 Is our
Speaker 1 view of Yager correct? That he is just a guy everyone loves, not only because he was so talented, but just a good dude in the locker room.
Speaker 12 He was amazing. He was,
Speaker 2
the way I describe it, he was like a little kid. He was just a little kid.
But when I played with him, I think he was 67 years old. So
Speaker 2 he
Speaker 2 like he would sit on, I'll never forget. He'd be like, hey, Yenzi, Yenzi, want to go get a muffin? Want to go get a muffin? He'd sit on the back of the bus and he'd eat his muffins like a little kid.
Speaker 2
Unbelievable. But good Yager story.
I think it was Foxwoods or Mohegan's son when he was in. either Pittsburgh or New York.
They were opening up their casino and
Speaker 2 they waited for a night that Yager was playing in Boston and could make the trip up there and kind of, you know, be part of the first, the open night. I'm like, oh, that's pretty cool.
Speaker 2
They wanted you there. He's like, they didn't want me there.
They wanted all my money.
Speaker 1 He probably gave it to him.
Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 5 The quote that he had where he was like, yeah, I want to thank my girlfriend too. She's too young to remember when I played in Pittsburgh, which I think she would have liked it here.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 1 There was a clip I saw that someone was like, yeah, Yager used to have a party every year and it was 100 people and there was no more than 10 dudes yeah oh the guy was beautiful yeah he the girlfriend that he had when i played with him same thing she was probably
Speaker 2 22 23 and
Speaker 2 this guy like he would make her come to the rink with him he'd go to the rink at midnight and just go skate around and she'd have to sit in the stands and video him and i'm like what is going on here and i'm like yogs what does she do he's like oh you want to see if she's strong she's strong too he's 250 pounds we were at our our Halloween party and he's like, you want to see how strong she is?
Speaker 2
I'm like, yeah, sure. He just jumps on his back and she started doing squats with him on his back.
I'm like, what is going on in there?
Speaker 2 That's incredible.
Speaker 2 Loved, loved the game more than anyone.
Speaker 2 Probably the biggest rink rat I've ever seen. Was always at the rink,
Speaker 2
tinkering with stuff. He'd put like.
you know, the pre-wrap they put on like your wrist, if you're taping your wrist, he would put that on his stick and then put tape over it to make his stick softer.
Speaker 2
He was was just, he was ahead of his game with the stuff that he had. And, you know, he'd put potatoes on his knees if his knees were hurting and his shin pads.
He'd put like he'd have this
Speaker 2 metal healing thing he'd put on his chest and like tape it to his shoulder pads. And I'm like, what does that do, Yoggs? He's like, brings me strength.
Speaker 2 I'm like, okay.
Speaker 2 Biggest worry. Like, he skated every day at
Speaker 2
an old age. He'd have 10-pound weights on his skates, which is insane to skate around in.
And, you know, he'd have those on his skates. He'd be like, oh, I feel like I'm 55 years old.
Speaker 2 I'm like, yags, you got 10 pound skates. Like, you have to just skate regularly so you can feel at least 45.
Speaker 1 You know? Yeah. I mean, he plays 27 years or 28 years, whatever it was.
Speaker 2 So something worked.
Speaker 2 Yeah.
Speaker 5
The potatoes. That's crazy.
Yeah. That's the most Eastern European thing I've ever heard.
Speaker 3 Potatoes to your knees.
Speaker 5 It's kind of like pouring vodka on your knees.
Speaker 5 It makes it nice and warm and toasty. Oh.
Speaker 2 I always heard. my dad, my dad, when we were younger, like, Yarme Yaga does a thousand
Speaker 2 squats a day, 500 push-ups. And I always thought it was just a dad lie, you know.
Speaker 2 And I asked him, and he said, yeah, he was like, I did that as a kid, did a thousand squats every day before school, a thousand after, wrist curls, everything.
Speaker 2 He was a machine, just built to play hockey.
Speaker 5
Yeah. Also, Cap's legend.
I have one question about the Capitals, then we'll move on. But
Speaker 5 it seems to me like they've constructed their entire roster to spend the next two years just getting Ovie the goals record.
Speaker 5 Is that fair to say? Like,
Speaker 5 are they even trying to compete for anything?
Speaker 12 Yeah, they are. I mean, I think that they're a proud organization.
Speaker 2 I think that they're going to
Speaker 2 obviously try to win the Stanley Cup every year, like every team. But
Speaker 2 I think what they're doing for Ovi, I think a lot of teams, especially nowadays,
Speaker 2 the older you get, you know, the kind of teams are kind of pushing you out.
Speaker 2 But I think, you know, what he's done for that that city, with for that organization, he deserves everything that, that he's getting.
Speaker 2 And, you know, whether it's trying to help him get the goal record or play as long as he can to get it, I think, uh, I think they're doing the right thing by him, and he deserves it.
Speaker 5 Yeah, like, I'm fine with it.
Speaker 5 I think if you're not going to be like at the top of that level and actually have, you know, a chance to win the Stanley Cup, take care of your guy that gave you, what, 15, 20 years of great hockey and try to help him accomplish something that's crazy.
Speaker 5
That's like, that's the one thing that I am paying attention to with the Capitals this year. It's like, okay, I want to know when Ovi scores.
I want to know how he's doing.
Speaker 5 I want to make sure he's healthy and he's not like hurting the team when he's out there. At least to my eyes, he can still play at a high level.
Speaker 2 100%.
Speaker 2 And he's a guy, I think, like Yager.
Speaker 2
I don't think there's an age limit for him to play. I think that what he does, he's so big.
He's so strong.
Speaker 2 You know, obviously shoots the puck like a savage. So he'll be able to get his goals.
Speaker 2 And I think it's just strictly up to him whether he wants to continue to keep playing and chase the record um you know and i know talking to wayne wayne would like to see him to see him get it you know he knows that you know records like that are meant to be broke and good for the game and stuff like that so um you know i i it is a good thing for the league to have a guy to be even within
Speaker 2 you know talking about you know breaking awayne gretzky record and um
Speaker 2
you know, everyone always said forever that it would never be touched. And now you got Ovechkin and the way Austin Matthews is scoring, you know, those records could be broken.
Yeah.
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Speaker 1 So, one Blackhawks question. They're the worst team in the league.
Speaker 1 So, they might get the first pick again. Obviously, Connor Berdard being out for like a month and a half probably helped them.
Speaker 1 They wouldn't have been good even if he was healthy the whole time, but they might not have been the worst.
Speaker 1 Is the Celebrini kid just as like can't miss as Berdard?
Speaker 12 From everything I've heard, I've watched him play maybe three times this year.
Speaker 2 He's got an absolute laser of a shot.
Speaker 2 You know, Witt works over at BU with them. I think he helps out over there.
Speaker 1 Was he
Speaker 1 working with their golf swing or something?
Speaker 2 Yeah,
Speaker 2 getting them out on the boat.
Speaker 1 It's important to take time off, boys.
Speaker 2
This guy, more vacations than anyone. He was just down in Florida two weeks ago, and then he texted me the other day.
He's like, hey, I'm going to be down there on Thursday. You want to golf?
Speaker 2 I'm like,
Speaker 2 do you ever stay home?
Speaker 1 Yeah. I think it's a situated thing, him and Hank.
Speaker 2 Yeah, that's true. A couple, couple vacation legends.
Speaker 1 Yeah, they just vacation. So, but Celebrini might be the like, he might be another camp miss guy.
Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm pretty sure he's going to be that guy that is a is a camp miss. Um,
Speaker 2 you You know, talking to one of my best friends as a scout, he's saying he's a camp mess. I think there's a few guys in the draft that are really good, but
Speaker 2 I think if they were able to get him and
Speaker 2 Bedard and obviously being a great city, Chicago, I think that they will have some really good teams for a long time because
Speaker 2 you hate to say, but a team like Winnipeg, if they're getting first overall guys, then you're not really getting the
Speaker 2
free agent signings as much as a city like Chicago would get because it's such a good city. You know, guys love playing there, great fans, great atmosphere, best jerseys in the league.
So it's,
Speaker 2 I think, I think if they were able to get him, then it'll be a fun, you know, 15, 20 years for you guys.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 5 Yeah, they'll rig the draft again.
Speaker 1 They should.
Speaker 1 Remember when the Hawks were winning their Stanley Cups, it was like a joke that NBC, it was like every single week, it was a Blackhawks game. It was
Speaker 2 every time there could be a national televised game it was a blackhawks game yeah and i remember playing during those and you're like geez why do the blackhawks get every game but now being out and being in the media it's you got to put on games that are going to grow the game and and the players that are going to grow the game um you know i think the league's doing an amazing job of that uh you know growing the game, getting guys, getting guys out there more than they had in the past.
Speaker 2 But it's, I think when Chicago's a good team, it's good for everyone.
Speaker 1 Yeah, it's original six. Whenever there's an original six, it feels like there's just more momentum.
Speaker 5 Yeah, or just big fights, if there's constant big fights. Like I think last time we had Biz on, he told us to watch Wi-Fi, that dude up in Montreal.
Speaker 5
That dude can throw some punches. I love watching clips of his fights.
Who's another, who's another goon or tough guy that we should keep our eye on?
Speaker 2 I think Brady Kachuk, who's, I think he's leading the league in fights this year. And I golfed with him over
Speaker 2
All-Star Break. He was down here in Florida.
And I'm like,
Speaker 2
he's a top 10, 15 player in the league. I'm like, Brady, you got to stop fighting, man.
Like, I know you're taught, he's a big, strong kid. He can throw his hands.
Speaker 2
I'm like, you got to stop fighting, man. Like, their team's in last place.
He's like, I can't, I can't shut it off. And
Speaker 2
probably the reason why he is who he is. And, you know, I'm here talking to you guys.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 When you get to playoff season as a defenseman, how much does it suck knowing that you now have to get in front of every puck?
Speaker 1 Is there like something in your head that flips and you're like, all right, now everything, every, every single one that I stayed on my feet for, I'm going to have to get on the ground and take one to the knee, take one to the shin, take one to the ankle.
Speaker 1 Like, do you just dread that?
Speaker 2 Yeah, that, that, and, and going back for pucks, because especially as a, as an offensive defenseman, teams would, you know, they dump it in your corner and they're just trying to get, trying to get licks on you.
Speaker 2 And it's, it's the worst. It's especially that first game, you're like, okay, you got to prepare for battle.
Speaker 2
You know, you're basically playing hockey without a puck the first couple games. Teams are so fired up to get the playoffs started.
I think the first round of playoffs is probably the best round.
Speaker 2 You know, teams are flying around trying to kill each other, like you said, blocking shots everywhere. But I always said, like, I never asked the goalie to go play the power play for me.
Speaker 2 You know, he should never ask me to block the puck.
Speaker 1 I like that.
Speaker 5 That's a fair point. He's asking you to do his job for him.
Speaker 1 Yeah. I like that.
Speaker 2 But it's not really the goalies. It's it's more the coaches.
Speaker 1 Yeah, there definitely was there times when you wouldn't get down for a puck and that you get reamed out afterwards being like, What the fuck are you doing?
Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, all the time.
Speaker 2 Analytics for that.
Speaker 1 See, see, if I were a coach before the playoffs, I would just lay down on the ice and be like, All right, boys, if I can do it, you can do it.
Speaker 1 And just let the whole team fire on me for like, for like 10 minutes and be like, now go and do it. Lead in the front.
Speaker 2 You'd be dead.
Speaker 1 Yeah, but the guys would would be fired up. They'd be fired up.
Speaker 2 Yeah, that would be a good tactic. Maybe if you're like down three games to one or something like that, doing that by a coach would be elected.
Speaker 2 But a lot of the coaches are guys that were shop blockers, guys that were out there giving it their all. And all the players know that, too.
Speaker 2 So when they're asking you to do it and you knew that they did it, it's tough to
Speaker 2 not kind of sack up and do it. Yeah, that's fair.
Speaker 5 And they probably did it in an era with, you know, they had less pads on.
Speaker 2 Yeah, I don't know. The pads have always been
Speaker 2 like
Speaker 2 every time you get hit with a puck, you feel it. And unless you get hit in the foot, when you have the shop blockers on, it kind of just grazes off your foot, then you don't really feel it too much.
Speaker 2 But anytime you get hit with a puck in the foot, or it always finds the area with no equipment. And,
Speaker 2 or I shouldn't say always, I'd say 70% of the time you're getting full impact of the puck just on your bare skin, which is the absolute worst.
Speaker 1 Yeah, it sounds awful.
Speaker 5 Uh, I was reading something the other day about how coaches they don't use their uh, their challenge where they can like say, Hey, that guy's got a fucked up stick.
Speaker 5 He's got too much curve on his stick. Coaches don't do that ever, even though it's basically a free penalty every single night if they wanted to do it.
Speaker 5 And are they not doing that because everybody, everybody cheats and they know that they have guys on their team that do it too?
Speaker 2 Is that even a rule anymore? The illegal curve?
Speaker 5 I think so, yeah.
Speaker 2 Really? Um,
Speaker 2 yeah, I would say,
Speaker 2 I mean, the way guys' curves are nowadays, I'd say over 50% of the league. If there is a legal curve,
Speaker 2 everyone's, I would imagine, if it's the same as what it used to be, there used to be like the silver thing that you put up against it
Speaker 2 that measured it.
Speaker 2 But I can't imagine that
Speaker 2
it's still a rule or why people aren't using it. But it's probably the same thing, like you said, because you have access to other teams' room.
Your trainers are going in there.
Speaker 2 You could go in and measure a guy's stick before a game and kind of
Speaker 2 know exactly what you're going into. But yeah,
Speaker 2 I wonder when the last time that that was called. I know the famous one with Marty McSorley.
Speaker 1 I think he was in L.A.
Speaker 2 at the time.
Speaker 2 But yeah, I wonder what the last one was.
Speaker 5 Yeah, because the thing I was reading was saying that coaches don't do it because it's like an unwritten rule. Gentlemen game.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 2 where maybe you're pointing the finger at them you got something going on at your own end but yeah nobody does it anymore and it seems like it's a free penalty if you want it yeah maybe now if people hear this then people will do it and play us that's but that is one of the good things about the nhl and i saw it the other night did you guys see the guy in ottawa scored the empty net goal and then yes
Speaker 2 just rushed him that's my favorite part about the nhl how it just polices itself
Speaker 2
like imagine in football if you do something stupid and a 400 pound lineman you know he's going to come and just rip your head off. Like, you're probably not going to do it.
Yeah. So,
Speaker 2 the way that the game polices itself is amazing.
Speaker 2 Yeah. And probably with the coaches not doing that, it's probably just
Speaker 2 out of respect. Yeah.
Speaker 1
For people who missed it, it was an empty net goal. It was like 4-2.
And then there was like five seconds left.
Speaker 1 And was it an Ottawa player who just took a slapshot from like five feet away on an empty net goal and scored with like no time left? And he just got absolutely bum rushed immediately. It was awesome.
Speaker 2 And the worst part because you have your goalie pulled, so you got one more player than the other team out there.
Speaker 2 So, no matter what, this guy's getting hands put on him by someone, even if your whole team comes in, which Ottawa did.
Speaker 2 But, you know, there's two guys on that guy who shot it into the net and caused that havoc.
Speaker 1 Yeah, that was great.
Speaker 15
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Speaker 15 Wayfair, every style, every home. All right.
Speaker 1 So, Yans, you are
Speaker 1
in the dozen trivia league. You are on one of the worst teams ever.
Very entertaining, but very bad at trivia. So, I wanted to test your trivia and give you a question and see
Speaker 1 how you're doing, how the mind's coming along, okay? You ready? It's an easy one.
Speaker 1
Liberty mashup. yeah.
No, it's an easy one, all right. Keith Yandel, you scored how many goals and had how many assists in your NHL career?
Speaker 1
We should do we did over-under. Niche should, we should someone else should do a niche.
We should have KB like learn all of Yan's stats and have that be a niche because he could dominate. Come on,
Speaker 2 I think goals.
Speaker 2 I'm pretty sure I got a hundred or
Speaker 2 I I want to say 100 or just over 100.
Speaker 1 Wait, we need a number.
Speaker 2 I'm going to go
Speaker 2 102.
Speaker 1
103 was the correct answer. That's pretty good, though.
That's pretty damn good. You were pretty close.
And then assist.
Speaker 2 You get like a plaque for the assist.
Speaker 2 I don't know. Maybe
Speaker 2 450. Oh, no.
Speaker 1 You sold yourself short on both. 516 on assists.
Speaker 2 All right. Yeah.
Speaker 5 What about penalty minutes?
Speaker 2 Oh, God. um
Speaker 2 penalty minutes yeah
Speaker 12 let's see if we can find this stat i'm not good at math let me uh
Speaker 2 i'm gonna go
Speaker 1 i don't know if i can find it 400
Speaker 1 yeah exactly correct
Speaker 5 no no 616.
Speaker 1 all right so you know Keith Yandel stats might not be the niche category for the dozen for you.
Speaker 2 No, I have no idea.
Speaker 1 That's actually way cooler though to be like i think it was like a little over a hundred yeah not i i would absolutely know exactly how many goals i scored at the nhl yeah for sure 103 on the dot
Speaker 2 yep
Speaker 1 i wish i wish it was a lot more yeah i wasn't listening to the guys in the stands yelling shoot yeah you should have you should have um all right well yans thanks as always man this has been awesome uh we got to get you we got to get you in the chicago office maybe for the start of playoffs i know we're going to do a big stream it'd be good to get you here you think you can
Speaker 1 you think you can handle one of these like 41 free throw streams?
Speaker 2 That was impressive that you guys got that done. I don't know how you did that.
Speaker 1 The one we're talking about might be like Biz and Went want to do like a
Speaker 1 posts stream. Like you got to hit, you got to hit like 30 posts in a row or something.
Speaker 2 30 in a row. But you get the same thing, the mulligan.
Speaker 1 Yeah, but then you got to add me and Dave doing it too, which is going to be impossible.
Speaker 2 Yeah, you guys wouldn't get more than one in a row.
Speaker 1 Yeah. So we might need you.
Speaker 2 Biz wouldn't get more than one in a row.
Speaker 1 Would Wit?
Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, Wit would probably go... What was the max you could do? 10 for you guys?
Speaker 1
Yeah, 10. He could do 10 in a row easy.
Yeah,
Speaker 2 once you get on a.
Speaker 2 Does it matter? Like, if you shoot and then miss, do you keep going or no?
Speaker 1
No, you have to then get off. Well, you could keep going.
Yeah, if you want, but it only counts the makes. Yeah.
Speaker 2 Yeah, I think once you got on a roll, you could get pretty hot hitting those. You could easily do 10 in a row.
Speaker 1 Okay.
Speaker 1 I don't think biz could biz would maybe get two or three it would be just fun seeing the two of them just like once you get to like hour 12.
Speaker 1 you think whitney would be able to do like quit factor a two-day stream non-stop yeah the quit factor we might need you because you're a dog yeah you you'd be you'd be in with the boys for the for as long as it took what about bringing in goalies like bringing in 50 goalies and just
Speaker 2 rotating them you know every 30 shots and you got to score a certain amount because the post is yeah i like that.
Speaker 1 Going against real goalies, yeah, that would be good. And yeah, you just keep rotating.
Speaker 2 How many high school or not even college kids that listen to your guys' show? Like,
Speaker 2 you would have a line out the door of goalies ready to go. That would be fun.
Speaker 5 What about me and Big Cat?
Speaker 5 So, neither one of us play hockey, uh, but if you gave us like a 20-foot wristter against an NHL goalie, how many goals do you think we could score if we took like 100 shots?
Speaker 2 Zero. No, I know.
Speaker 1
Yeah, I get scored. I get one.
Top cheddar.
Speaker 2 20-foot.
Speaker 1 Knuckle puck, bitch. Yeah.
Speaker 2 15-foot.
Speaker 2 No,
Speaker 2 no. Maybe if you had like a breakaway, one could flip over a puck, but you wouldn't, you know.
Speaker 2 I wouldn't, if I had 100 shots on a goalie just straight away, no screen from 20 feet away, I don't think I'd score more than
Speaker 1
three. That sounds like we got a new challenge.
Yeah. Okay.
All right. I think I get you.
Challenge. Yeah.
Speaker 5 I'm different, though. I'm ready.
Speaker 1
All right. Well, Jans, thanks.
Thanks so much, man. Appreciate you coming on.
I love that you don't have a computer. Never change.
Never change that.
Speaker 2 Okay, I won't. I promise you I will never ever get a computer.
Speaker 1
Thank you. All right.
Talk to you later, man. See you, man.
All right.
Speaker 2 Thanks.
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Speaker 1
All right. We'll finish up the show.
Life After Football. So, Jake, you have a list?
Speaker 6 Yeah, so last year, around this time, we did a segment, Hobbies the Boys Will Pick Up Now That Football Is Over. Love it.
Speaker 6 And I will say, Hank was not on this list because I think he stayed in Arizona for vacation.
Speaker 1 Yeah, you're on the show. I remember that show.
Speaker 1 We had a talk with D'Andal about,
Speaker 1 because we were said on the show, Biz canceled because he was sick, and then I hit up Whitney, and he was on a boat or golf, and he was like, Yeah, Whitney, all he does is vacation.
Speaker 1 Is that just his situation?
Speaker 3
It's a beach town. It's the Irish Riviera.
It's beautiful, beautiful ocean vibes.
Speaker 1 So, Hank, do you have anything that you would have put on this list?
Speaker 3 What was the prompt?
Speaker 6 Hobbies the boys will pick up now that football is over, but 365 days ago.
Speaker 5 Yeah, what would you have done last year?
Speaker 1
I mean, golf. Okay.
Yep. All right.
Speaker 6 All right. Well, I'm pleased to say that a lot of these these were accomplished.
Speaker 1
Okay. They were accomplished? Yes.
Okay.
Speaker 5 Let's see. PFT, your first bullet.
Speaker 6 Break 120 in golf.
Speaker 1
Nice. Boom.
Easy. You did three quarters of that.
Done. This week.
Speaker 5 Well, I got 90.
Speaker 5 It's not breaking 90. True, but pretty much three quarters.
Speaker 5 Everyone's goal when they start playing golf is to break 91.
Speaker 1 And I did that.
Speaker 6 PFT, get a word of the day calendar.
Speaker 5 Unfortunately, I did not do that. Okay.
Speaker 6 And lastly, PFT, run a marathon and not tell anyone. Well, yeah.
Speaker 5 So
Speaker 5 if I did run a marathon, I'm going to continue not to tell anybody. That's going on this year's list.
Speaker 1 All right.
Speaker 1
Okay. Big cat.
Yeah.
Speaker 6 Be a dad more.
Speaker 1
Yeah. You did that.
Yeah. Hell yeah.
Speaker 5 You got 365 more days of dadding in.
Speaker 1
Yeah, I mean, I added another son, so how could I not be a dad more? Right. Microdose mushrooms.
Yep. Have done that multiple times.
Speaker 6 Olympic weightlifting.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Max and I are going to do that.
We got to get back on our plan, man. I was just talking to Max today, actually.
Speaker 5 Me and Max are going to work out tomorrow.
Speaker 1
Yeah, we got to get back. Oh, you already ditched me.
I didn't. Yeah, he said, Are you going to work out tomorrow?
Speaker 2
I said, Yes. Okay.
You ditched me.
Speaker 1 That's fine.
Speaker 6 We have three bullets for a Billy football.
Speaker 1 Oh, this should be.
Speaker 3 If we hit it hard starting now, we can actually be in a good spot for summer.
Speaker 1
We can, yeah. Good point, honey.
I had that thought. I'm going to hit it hard.
The last couple weeks were tough.
Speaker 3 I'm in a bad spot now.
Speaker 5 I'm going to hit it so hard.
Speaker 1 Billy.
Speaker 3
I might have sold a video where I have to learn how to dunk, too. So that's actually something something I have to do.
That's cool. But not
Speaker 3 in reality.
Speaker 3 What?
Speaker 1 In theory.
Speaker 5 Wait, you're going to be able to dunk?
Speaker 3 They're like, oh, you know, what are some ideas? I was like, oh, I could learn how to dunk.
Speaker 1 No, you can't.
Speaker 1 And it's not like learning how to ride a bike.
Speaker 3 Yeah, it's practicing vertical leap. Training.
Speaker 1 Don't know if you physically. Have you ever got rim? Yes.
Speaker 3 On the court. When I was like 17.
Speaker 6 But the ball makes it so much harder. How tall are you?
Speaker 1 You are more likely to get six-pack, which is never going to happen, than dunk.
Speaker 3 Why not both?
Speaker 1 Okay, why not both?
Speaker 1 I've been waiting, what, three years on the six-pack?
Speaker 3 Yeah.
Speaker 6 I guess we found out Hank's hobby for football offseason. I think I had a dunk.
Speaker 5 Yeah, I've got the dunk shoes, the isometric ones. I would love for you to dunk.
Speaker 1 Men's ball.
Speaker 1 Okay.
Speaker 1 I have to try.
Speaker 5 I'll bet you $10,000 you can't do it by the end of the year.
Speaker 1 Yeah, I'll match.
Speaker 1 What do I? Men's ball off 10,000. You have to give us 10 grand back, not 20.
Speaker 1 So 20 to 10. So five grand.
Speaker 5 We give you 20.
Speaker 1 You give us 10.
Speaker 3 7.5.
Speaker 3 That's so
Speaker 1 4 and 4, 8.
Speaker 2 All right. Deal.
Speaker 3 Okay, deal. Deal.
Speaker 1 It was just whatever money we wanted.
Speaker 1 Men's basketball.
Speaker 1 10-foot room. Yeah.
Speaker 3 In this office. Yeah.
Speaker 2 Yeah.
Speaker 1 This is the stupidest thing you've ever.
Speaker 2 It's impossible.
Speaker 1 How tall are you? Six.
Speaker 1 We didn't ask how old you were.
Speaker 1 I think
Speaker 1 okay, yeah, no, it was. I literally said it was probably a future meeting, but
Speaker 3 this is
Speaker 1
similar category now. Keep everything running.
Keep everything running. Max, you talk about your vacation real quick.
Hey, PFT and I and Hank are going to go watch how close he gets to rim.
Speaker 1
We'll come right back. It would take like 10 seconds.
Talk about your vacation. The three of you.
The booth talk. All right.
Speaker 6 Max, how was your vacation?
Speaker 1 My vacation was great. Hank, I've actually been wanting to say this, Tank.
Speaker 1
Hank goes to San San Diego a lot. He has family out there, and he gets a lot of shit about wanting to move to San Diego.
The place is unbelievable. It's the most.
It's like a playground.
Speaker 5 It's the most beautiful place on earth.
Speaker 1 Like, I don't, I like hung out with a lot of people that were there, and I couldn't understand
Speaker 1 how people can have a normal day there.
Speaker 6 Oh, and they're back.
Speaker 5 It's just sunny every day.
Speaker 1 Okay, we're back.
Speaker 1 What was the result? We're going to dunk.
Speaker 10 So I was.
Speaker 1 He actually, PFT,
Speaker 1 we screwed up because
Speaker 1 what we should, we should have done it.
Speaker 1
The only regret I have with this bet is we should have made all parties put the money in like an interest account. Because $8,000 is not going to be the same amount of money next year.
That's true.
Speaker 1 You know, in seven months. Thanks, Biden.
Speaker 6 I think this is the same category as Hank's pole vaulting take.
Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, it's just not going to happen.
Speaker 5 Hank, I said the exact same thing when I was 30. I was like, I'm going to figure out how to dunk.
Speaker 1 I said literally the exact same thing. You're welcome to.
Speaker 1 Go ahead, Hank. And it's
Speaker 1 very hard of a safe. It's a seven-inch base.
Speaker 1
Seven inches. You had to know that was coming.
You can't say,
Speaker 1 Hank is more likely to dunk than you.
Speaker 5 At my peak, when I was like 18 years old, I was able to grab the rim with my fingertips.
Speaker 1 That wasn't a bad baseline.
Speaker 3 I'm on zero training.
Speaker 1
Yeah, I know, but you're not going to dunk. What if I just go hard? Okay.
Well, if you go hard, you get $20,000.
Speaker 5 You're going to have to, one, lose weight,
Speaker 5 and then two, get stronger.
Speaker 3 Yeah. No, I know, I know.
Speaker 1
Listen. It will come out of the parmetic.
Believe.
Speaker 3
All I need is some people to believe. I know there's going to be a lot of haters, a lot of doubters, and that's fine.
You have no reason to believe.
Speaker 3 But for the ones that do, buy in now, and maybe I'll support the money with you.
Speaker 1 Oh, you're going to sell stock.
Speaker 5 What does that mean? Just people have to show you support, and then you're like,
Speaker 5 I'll give you money.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Consistent support.
You know what? Hank, I think you can do it. I think you can do do it.
All right.
Speaker 1
I would like to match anyone who shows consistent hate towards Hank and really bashes him. You will also maybe get involved in the money that we're going to win.
Here's what we'll do.
Speaker 1 We'll just every day just be like, there's no chance, you fucking idiot.
Speaker 5 We'll sell a heavily discounted shirt when Hank can't do it that just says Hank couldn't do it. Yeah.
Speaker 1 Hank couldn't do it.
Speaker 3 December 31st.
Speaker 1 Wait, no, I thought we said beginning of football season. End of the year.
Speaker 3 No, no, no, no, no. I'll give him a note.
Speaker 1 I just said end of this year.
Speaker 5 We could give him the next 10 football seasons.
Speaker 1 Yeah, why don't we give you the end of your 30s?
Speaker 5 What about steroids? Yeah, you can use steroids to go for it.
Speaker 3 I'm going to doodle. That's the thing.
Speaker 1 You can use steroids, but you have to share.
Speaker 3 I'm due to get a steroids pick up.
Speaker 3 I'm due to follow up on one of these things and make it happen. Okay.
Speaker 1 Put it that way. I don't think this is the one.
Speaker 5 That's some Billy football logic right there. You're due.
Speaker 3
And if I can do this, six-pack will become with it. So that should be a double.
I should get an incentive.
Speaker 1 Okay, what if I'll give you an extra incentive?
Speaker 3 My dunk shirtless will be a good one.
Speaker 1 If you can't dunk, I'll give you three chances
Speaker 1
to go perfect from a three-point contest. And if you get that, then you get the money.
Okay.
Speaker 1
That was smart by me because now he's going to, like, halfway through not training. He's going to be like, maybe I'll just train.
He's going to be three-pointers and he'll stop training to dunk.
Speaker 1 That works. So
Speaker 1 three times through, you'd have to make 25 three-pointers in a row.
Speaker 3 Yeah, that'll never happen.
Speaker 1
All right, we'll say, we'll say 20. That is so much more likely to happen than you, dunking.
Yes. Why are you?
Speaker 1 That just made me mad that you were like, that will never happen, but dunking will.
Speaker 5 Because you don't understand his mindset right now.
Speaker 1
Dude, he's a guy. I have to say, like, no, like his mind, he's like, all I have to do is just hit the gym.
And then when do you think you're going to train?
Speaker 3 When is training start? Tomorrow. Yeah.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 1
Okay. Not tomorrow.
All right. What else do we have?
Speaker 1 Billy's hobbies. Oh, yeah.
Speaker 3 I've never trained my legs. I have chicken legs, and I basically just touch rim.
Speaker 1
So you're just an untapped resource. Yes.
You did not basically just touch rim. Pretty much.
Speaker 1 No.
Speaker 1
Like six inches away. Yeah.
And you would then have to go another, like, it has to be a clean dunk. No, like, getting the ball to the rim and like having it just fall in.
You have to actually dunk.
Speaker 1 Your hands have to be all the way over and dunk.
Speaker 5
Okay, I'm reviewing the tape right now, Hank. You are about, I'd say your fingertips are a good five and a half inches.
I know exactly what that looks like.
Speaker 1 So that's like another foot of vertical leap.
Speaker 5 You need, yeah, about another foot to get up there.
Speaker 3 Work to be done. Okay.
Speaker 1 Can't wait to get to work.
Speaker 6 Billy's hobbies that he'll pick up now that football season is over from last year. Not get too deep into conspiracies.
Speaker 10 Oh, he failed that one.
Speaker 5 Big time. Listen to macro dosing.
Speaker 6 Don't get suspended.
Speaker 1 Okay, failed. Yeah.
Speaker 5 Yeah, failed that.
Speaker 6 And the Jets project. Is Is that the quarterbacks thing?
Speaker 5 Didn't he already do that?
Speaker 1 I think he.
Speaker 5 Yeah, he did. Was there a different job? Oh,
Speaker 1 did he just say that after he had finished it? That would be very Billy.
Speaker 5 Finished the Jets project?
Speaker 1 Me,
Speaker 6 competitive pickleball, did that.
Speaker 5 Check.
Speaker 6 Max, Cookmore.
Speaker 1 Max?
Speaker 1
Rip. I've been ripping cooking ever since I moved to Chicago and never get takeout.
Only cook.
Speaker 5 You're basically the bear.
Speaker 1 Yep, basically.
Speaker 5 You're the bear if it was just about, yeah, like, put the fat, hairy version of bear. Yeah.
Speaker 1 I basically, yeah, I basically just make chicken and rice, but it's like at-home, like, Mexican bowls. I do it like
Speaker 1 every week, though.
Speaker 5 Once a week, we're cooking?
Speaker 1 Yeah, we're cooking. I love that for you.
Speaker 6 And then finally, memes, get physical.
Speaker 1 Okay. Memes, did you get physical?
Speaker 5 It was get a physical.
Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Get a physical.
Speaker 1 And
Speaker 5 that's a physical man. Still need one.
Speaker 1 Okay.
Speaker 1
All right. Let's do listeners submitted ones.
Memes. I got it.
Hank.
Speaker 1
Hank's focused on dunking. 23-pointers in a row, Hank, and you're out.
You guys really don't. Yeah, whatever.
You probably can't. Shooting threes?
Speaker 1 Like by Thursday, you're going to see him just doing the racks.
Speaker 3 Well, no, I'm just going to have to. Whatever.
Speaker 1
Whatever. If you believe.
Well, Hank, you got to make a decision because if you're dunking. If you work your legs, your three-point shot might get jacked up.
Speaker 3 I will dunk
Speaker 1 on you.
Speaker 1
In a game. Oh.
Oh, in a game? Way different. In a game?
Speaker 3 Pick 31 winners. PMT gets a team to select NFL teams in Madden.
Speaker 3
Select a day and have a fantasy draft and host an entire season that each person runs their team, can either play each week or sim. No.
I don't even know what I'm reading.
Speaker 1 We're trying to do another fancy.
Speaker 3
It would be good content during that draft. Oh, this is a suggestion for us.
Yeah, yeah, these are suggestions for us.
Speaker 1 All right.
Speaker 6 I did that in high school. It was fun.
Speaker 3 My friends and I live in North Carolina.
Speaker 1 Sounds like a blast.
Speaker 3
And have been following the Immaculate Stingray Pregnancy. Yes.
That's the Cindy Sweeney movie. Yes.
Speaker 3 This got me thinking, what if Jesus does come back every 2,000 years, but in the form of different animals?
Speaker 3
We have been stuck on this and have been rewriting scriptures from the perspective of different animals. Didn't think it would be this bad one week with no football.
Whoa.
Speaker 3 What animal do you think would have the biggest impact if they had on Jesus?
Speaker 5 Dog. Easy.
Speaker 3 As always, Volcanic Go Dukes. Ah,
Speaker 1 cats. I feel like
Speaker 1 cats would they would like all follow their Jesus like hardcore. Cats can like gang up.
Speaker 5 Cat people.
Speaker 1 No, but cats themselves,
Speaker 1 they could gang up.
Speaker 3 No, they would fight.
Speaker 1 They would just end up fighting.
Speaker 5 They're solitary animals.
Speaker 1
Yeah, but dogs, you just throw a tennis ball and the whole plane goes. Wolves.
Shit.
Speaker 5 Yeah, it becomes like the alpha wolf, the king of kings. No, I'm saying that.
Speaker 1 Oh, he's wolves. Wolves, yeah.
Speaker 1 Or bird.
Speaker 5
Yeah, a bird. Everybody flies behind it.
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3
What's up, boys? Welcome back. I'm in my second year out of college in a new city where I don't have many guy friends.
So I filled my weekend this fall with as much football as I could.
Speaker 3 Now that it's over, I am suffering extreme withdrawal. So much that I bought the new Madden game just to have football on my TV.
Speaker 3 Even if I was the one creating the football, I'm worried that my weekends this spring, summer will be a vortex of nothingness. I'm planning on getting a golf membership to my local course this summer.
Speaker 3 Smart.
Speaker 3
Nine handicap, no big deal. But I'm open to potential other hobbies to keep myself from playing 36 holes five days a week.
Any ideas? I love you guys.
Speaker 5 Start drinking more.
Speaker 5 Just become just a raging alcoholic.
Speaker 1 Walk. Yeah, like
Speaker 3 do you have a girlfriend? Just walk.
Speaker 1
If not, you can find a girlfriend. Sidney Sweeney's single.
I don't think she is. Oh, fuck.
Speaker 3 That was the whole big controversy.
Speaker 5 Are you sure?
Speaker 3 Yeah, with the other guy when they were promoting their rom-com.
Speaker 1 Oh, man. I'm going to need a minute.
Speaker 5 She's been lying to me.
Speaker 1
That sucks. I know you're engaged.
What?
Speaker 1
Good for her. Every time she's working, she says she's working on a movie.
Can't come over.
Speaker 5 I know what this guy's going through because this morning I just, I thought, I just sat down and I was like, what if the Rams played the Seahawks this weekend and I made a line for it? Yeah.
Speaker 5 And I had Rams minus two and a half. Where? In Seattle.
Speaker 1
Oh, I would hammer the... Oh, no, the Rams minus two and a half.
Yeah.
Speaker 5
It's a good line. Yeah, it's a good line.
It's a good line. I also had Vegas at Carolina.
Ugh. And that was Vegas minus three.
Speaker 1
Starting quarterback. On the road.
Add O'Connell.
Speaker 5
Adrian O'Connell, Bryce Young. But remember, they got Canalis.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 He wrote a cookbook.
Speaker 3 I'll end with this one. Probably the best suggestion we've ever had.
Speaker 1 Learn how to dunk.
Speaker 3
Idea for what to do while football is gone. Fully commit to an off-season training program.
Conditioning, weights, study film, drilling plays, whole nine yards. I like that.
Speaker 5 Like, pretend that you're going to be a linebacker.
Speaker 3 Or, like, a shooting guard.
Speaker 1 Who can dunk?
Speaker 1 But he's talking about football. Yeah.
Speaker 3 Fully commit to an off-season training program.
Speaker 1 Including what?
Speaker 3 Conditioning, weight, studying, film, drilling plays, the whole nine yards. Oh,
Speaker 1 I guess it could be basketball.
Speaker 5 It would be the last one. It could be golf, too.
Speaker 1
It could be golf. Yeah.
Okay. I like that one.
Speaker 3 Alternate idea. Fully committing to get in the worst shape of your life and see how unhealthy you can get all the way through preseason and then commit to getting in sheep next year.
Speaker 5 That'll work. I like the sound of that.
Speaker 1 We've always talked about meeting in the middle. Yeah.
Speaker 5 What are you at now?
Speaker 1 I'm at like two
Speaker 5
something? Yeah. Two and change.
Would meeting in the middle.
Speaker 6 Two dot dot dot.
Speaker 5 Do you think meeting in the middle would be approximately 210 pounds?
Speaker 1 How much do you weigh?
Speaker 5
I'm like, I don't know. I haven't been on scale in a while.
I think 180.
Speaker 1 It might have to be a little higher than that.
Speaker 5 I could get up to like 215, 220.
Speaker 1
I'm about to get into shape. Chef Donny's about to.
I just gave him my credit card. I was like, make me food.
If anyone wants to get on the meal plan,
Speaker 1 sure.
Speaker 1 I'm in.
Speaker 3 I'm going to be in.
Speaker 1 Well, you guys got to give him your credit cards too.
Speaker 3 I'll just take it. I'll say it's a.
Speaker 1
Okay. We'll take it out of your table.
I will. I told them to just get a big bowl and have hard-boiled eggs in there at all times.
Speaker 5 That sounds like a
Speaker 5 recipe for disaster.
Speaker 1 So anyone who wants hard-boiled eggs, hit me up. I'm going to be flushed with hard-boiled eggs.
Speaker 5 They get a bar for everything else. Why not just an egg bar?
Speaker 5 You get the egg and then you get like chives, salt, pepper, bacon bits.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Are you talking about just an omelette bar? Yeah, egg bar.
Hard-boiled bar. I'm talking about egg eggs.
You're talking about an omelette state.
Speaker 5
No, this is completely different. It's hard-boiled eggs, but you get all the shit that goes in an an omelette.
You just put it on the egg, and it's way healthier.
Speaker 3 This is going to be a big Google.
Speaker 1 What?
Speaker 1 What?
Speaker 1 What was that? What is that sentence? This is going to be a big Google?
Speaker 5 Is this a question from a listener that you're looking up?
Speaker 5 What are you doing?
Speaker 1 Egg-related. We're on a podcast, Hank.
Speaker 3 How long to learn how to dunk?
Speaker 1 I suspect there are a few variables that go into that.
Speaker 5 A couple, I would say. One, have you ever dunked before? Two, how old are you? Three, do you have chicken legs?
Speaker 5 Four, are you delusional?
Speaker 1 Like, I think. Delusional is good.
Speaker 1 I agree. Yeah, sure.
Speaker 1 But yeah, there's...
Speaker 1 Like, LeBron James' daughter's going to dunk before you.
Speaker 1
Just think about that. Easily, yes.
Fuck.
Speaker 3 A couple variables. It wasn't like an easy answer.
Speaker 1 No, of course not.
Speaker 1 Okay.
Speaker 3
I read it, said I would like three months so I can impress some people in school after summer. This guy sounds like my type of guy.
In school, like. Top comment.
Speaker 3 No way to tell, and it's going to be different for everyone. If you can just grab Rim, then you're six to eight inches away from dunking off the dribble.
Speaker 5 Oh, yeah. So you're about to.
Speaker 3 If you do that much in three months, it's not going to happen. I would say a year if you get hella lucky.
Speaker 3 If not, then like a year. And
Speaker 1 you're not
Speaker 5 six inches away from grabbing rim. So add five to eight inches on top of that.
Speaker 1 So that's another 10 years. Over
Speaker 5
a foot. So yeah.
Maybe when you're 50. I'd say by 40.
You can probably dunk by the time you're 40.
Speaker 1 40.
Speaker 1 Okay.
Speaker 5
I also think we should bring back that's what she said. Yeah.
In 2024. I feel like that's been,
Speaker 5
out of the lexicon for a while. It always plays, though.
Yeah. Always plays.
Always.
Speaker 1 Okay.
Speaker 1 We ready? Good show, boys.
Speaker 1 Numbers:
Speaker 1
40. 3.
20. Future vert.
18.
Speaker 2 8.
Speaker 1 99 pugs. Oh, I was going to do 99, but I wasn't going to do that.
Speaker 1 I will do 77.
Speaker 1 Do we have a ball in there? No.
Speaker 5 We're clean.
Speaker 1
57. 57.
57.
Speaker 1 Yes, all that max. Getting a little nervous.
Speaker 5 Love you guys. Off of the ground.
Speaker 1 Bitches love the ground.
Speaker 2 I'm talking away.
Speaker 2 I don't know what
Speaker 2 to say. I'd say it anyway.
Speaker 2 Today's a moment
Speaker 2 to find you. Shy away.
Speaker 2 I've been coming for your love again.
Speaker 2 Take
Speaker 2 you.
Speaker 2 Take on me. Take
Speaker 2 me.
Speaker 2 Take on me.
Speaker 2 Seven needless to say.
Speaker 2 I hope you said it. It's about me stumbling away.
Speaker 2 Slowly learning that life is okay.
Speaker 2 Say after me.
Speaker 1 It's no better to be safe than sorry.
Speaker 1 Take
Speaker 1 on.
Speaker 1 Take on me.
Speaker 1 All the things that you say
Speaker 1 little I know were just to pay my worries away.
Speaker 1 You're all things I've got to remember. You're shy and always.
Speaker 1 I'll be coming for you anyway.
Speaker 1 Take
Speaker 1 on
Speaker 1 me.
Speaker 1 Take on me. Take
Speaker 1 me
Speaker 1 up.
Speaker 1 Take on me. I'll take
Speaker 1 God.
Speaker 1 Take on me. Take
Speaker 1 me
Speaker 1 up.
Speaker 1 Take on me. I am
Speaker 1 God.
Speaker 1 Take only
Speaker 1 me
Speaker 1 up.
Speaker 1 Take on me.
Speaker 1 Take on me. Take
Speaker 1 me
Speaker 1 up.
Speaker 1 Take on me.