Nate Bargatze In Studio, Zach Wilson Disaster Class, CFB And The Return Of Guys On Chicks

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Speaker 2 Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

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Speaker 1 Terms apply.

Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have the very, very funny Nate Bargazzi. He is in studio.
We did this interview on Sunday morning.

Speaker 3 Credit to us for coming in on Sunday morning.

Speaker 1 Yes, awesome, awesome interview. One of the best dudes out there.
Had a great time with him.

Speaker 1 He's got a podcast. He's on tour all the time.
Go check him out. We're going to talk some college football, college football Wednesdays.

Speaker 1 We have a Jets discussion that needs to be had with one producer named Memes. We're going to do some hot seat, cool throne, and the return of Guys on Chicks.
Guys on Chicks officially back.

Speaker 1 When cool, creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the whole is greater than the sum of its sauce. Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch sauce, only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 1 At participating, McDonald's. Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 It's part and my tea,

Speaker 1 the number one spot podcast on the charts and in your heart.

Speaker 1 Football guy for Dean of AWS.

Speaker 1 Welcome to Part of My Take. Today is Wednesday, November 8th.

Speaker 1 And my God, they got to stop putting Zach Wilson in prime time games.

Speaker 3 Mr. Fourth quarter, he had a nice drive at the end of the game.

Speaker 3 It was awesome when Troy Aikman was like, now this is where Zach Wilson really comes alive on that last drive when they were down, was it 27-6 at the time?

Speaker 1 Yeah, no points, which hurt people who bet the over, which would have been a very lucky over.

Speaker 1 That was one of the most frustrating games to watch because the Jets' defense is as legit as legit comes. They dominated that game from a defensive standpoint.

Speaker 1 And I know Zach Wilson has no offensive line. Zach Wilson might be my favorite guy taking sacks because when he takes a sack, he really doesn't go half measure.

Speaker 1 He's not like, oh, I'll just take this little sack here, this little five-yard sack. No, no, no.
He's like, how far back can I get before I take this sack? How can I make sure that even

Speaker 1 there's a theory floating out there that Zach Wilson takes such great third-down sacks so that there's never even a doubt of going for it so he can get off the field?

Speaker 3 Yeah, there's also the theory that the Jets' offensive line is so bad that it doesn't matter who they have at quarterback, where it could be,

Speaker 3 honestly, I think if they had Josh Dobbs at quarterback, they could figure it out. Josh Dobbs with zero practice reps is probably a better fit for that offense than Zach Wilson is.

Speaker 3 He looks confused in the middle of plays. Like after he takes his drop and he looks somewhat competent as he goes back there.

Speaker 3 And then as soon as anything off schedule starts to happen, he looks like he had never run that play before. And he has no idea what his receivers are doing, what his offensive line is doing.

Speaker 3 I love it when Troy Aikman gets frustrated at players

Speaker 3 during the games because he actually does not hide his disgust for it. And

Speaker 3 you know who does hide their disgust for it?

Speaker 1 Who?

Speaker 3 Is memes. Yeah.
Because memes just go as radio silent when the Jets are playing poorly.

Speaker 1 He lost the password to our Twitter account. Pardon my take Twitter account for anyone who's looking for updates of Monday Night Football.
Sorry, there were none last night. It's okay.

Speaker 3 It's not like there was a huge upset in basketball going on once in generation upset.

Speaker 1 He lost the password. That's fine.
He lost a password. I understand.
I'm not blaming. Wi-Fi went out.

Speaker 1 I'm going to blame Hank. Oh, so Wi-Fi, your phone doesn't work? Yeah, no.
Oh. Disconnected the Wi-Fi.
That's too bad. You don't have cell service.

Speaker 3 Hank is...

Speaker 5 Doesn't work pay for your phone bill?

Speaker 1 No, it doesn't. Oh, well, it should.

Speaker 3 But, Hank, aren't you Memes' boss? I am. So,

Speaker 3 how does Memes lose the password?

Speaker 5 He never reached out and ran that up the chain either. I would have been happy to facilitate getting him a password or replacement.

Speaker 3 As a boss,

Speaker 3 that doesn't set off red flags if there's no tweeting going on during Monday at football or during the aforementioned college basketball upset.

Speaker 5 It does. We mentioned it to him, and he just didn't respond.

Speaker 1 Hank was also busy because he was working on his Lighthouse presentation, which is coming out today.

Speaker 5 Yeah, we'll get to that in Hot City Cool Throne.

Speaker 1 Oh, I thought, okay, all right, we'll get to it on a hot seat cool throwing. So, memes,

Speaker 1 we also had

Speaker 1 someone who tries to hide their disgust for Zach Wilson, but does a really bad job of it is Robert Salah.

Speaker 1 After the game, he had one of the meanest quotes you can say about someone after Zach Wilson had a horrific Monday night. Again, their offensive line is bad.

Speaker 1 We're not going to say it's all on Zach Wilson. He just loves to run backwards and find a way to just get maximum amount of negative yards.

Speaker 1 But Robert Salah said after the game, I'm not going to say it was even close to Zach Wilson's worst game,

Speaker 1 which is so mean. I actually agree with that.
It is, but

Speaker 1 it's also so mean to be like, what you guys just watched was really bad. He's been way worse.
Way worse.

Speaker 3 It's true, but it's a very mean truth.

Speaker 1 Such a mean thing.

Speaker 3 It's an insult analysis.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 memes,

Speaker 1 do you still think the Jets are

Speaker 1 the best team in the NFC?

Speaker 1 The NFC standings took a hit this week. The Jets play in the NFC, by the way.
For anyone who doesn't know. NFC standings took a hit.
I put Lions one, Jets two,

Speaker 1 49ers three,

Speaker 3 Seahawks four, Eagles five. Okay.

Speaker 3 You know ball memes. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So where are you at, memes? Because this is the most frustrating team to watch. I've been here before.

Speaker 1 Having a defense as good as the Jets' defense and then having nothing to show on offense will make you just not want to be a sports fan anymore. The Jets won that game.

Speaker 1 That was a very winnable game defensively and what they did to the Chargers,

Speaker 1 but they just couldn't muster anything in terms of offense. Yeah, and the worst part is that was probably the most important game of the season.
Oh.

Speaker 1 So going into the game, if they would have won, their playoff chance goes to 66%.

Speaker 1 Now that they lost, it goes to 33%.

Speaker 1 It's a big hit.

Speaker 3 It's a 50% drop, basically.

Speaker 1 The Chargers beat you 27-6, and they had 191 total yards of offense. Yeah, it's not a good Chargers team either.

Speaker 3 No, it's not. No, they did just beat you.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 that's not saying much.

Speaker 3 Mimes, do you think that if you took USC's offense and put the Jets' defense on the team, do you think that they could beat the Chargers?

Speaker 1 Yeah, by 50. By 50? Wow.

Speaker 1 Wait, but it'd be USC's offensive line. Yeah.
That's fine. Okay.

Speaker 1 If you're a Jets fan,

Speaker 3 your Super Bowl every single week is the same thing, and that's getting to watch Aaron Rodgers throw a couple passes and warm-ups and being like, well, when he comes back.

Speaker 3 You know, it's a really good recipe for success when you take like a 40-year-old quarterback that has one ankle and then you put him behind that offensive line.

Speaker 3 I think that's going to end up well for everybody.

Speaker 1 And Aaron Rodgers, I've tried to make my peace with him. I think I've done a good job this year.

Speaker 1 It helps that he hasn't been playing. I mean,

Speaker 1 what is he doing?

Speaker 1 We criticize Russell Wilson for it. Aaron Rodgers is doing the same thing.
Monday night football comes around, Sunday night football comes around.

Speaker 1 He hops on a plane, goes to New York, throws a ball around on the field just so that every camera in the world can catch him and be like, whoa, this is crazy.

Speaker 3 Is he not with the team? Because I've been hearing stories about him being in meetings.

Speaker 1 Oh, he might be back with the team now. But either way, it's just like

Speaker 3 every every single game like what i you don't have to throw the passes before the game he's not taking simulated fist bumps running out onto the field though and he's but there's no reason for him to stand on the field throwing passes just so that all the cameras can be like aaron rods look at him he's throwing passes so my theory about aaron rodgers is uh he is he's a troll he loves troll he loves fucking with the media a little bit right um

Speaker 3 i don't think that he's going to come back in a couple weeks i think he's doing this knowing that the media will see him on tv and talk about aaron rodges coming back yeah and And he's doing it to fuck with everybody.

Speaker 3 I don't, there might be an outside, outside chance that if the Jets make the playoffs, he's back.

Speaker 3 And I'm saying this as somebody, I did put a bet on Aaron Rodgers to win comeback player of the year, which was plus 10,000. So I think I win, I win $10,000.
I put $100 on it.

Speaker 3 So I'm hoping that happens.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 3 I think he's fucking with us a little bit.

Speaker 1 I think he's fucking with us. He did say after the game, who is he talking to? Derwin James.
He's like, I'll be back in a few weeks.

Speaker 6 And he didn't cover his mouth. Most of the times players cover their mouths when they're doing those comments.

Speaker 1 There also is the theory I saw one of the Lebatard guys threw this out there that is a good theory that maybe he never tore his Achilles. Oh, at all?

Speaker 1 And he's just doing this to prove that modern medicine is Fugazi. And he's like, he just didn't tear his Achilles.
He had maybe a bad ankle injury.

Speaker 4 I like that theory.

Speaker 1 He did a fake, you know, he was actually in a green screen studio with the picture of him in surgery.

Speaker 1 It was where they taped the moonland. Moonlands.

Speaker 3 Stanley Kubrick fielded it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I mean,

Speaker 1 there's only one guy that this theory actually would give me.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 I wouldn't be like, no chance that's true. It's Aaron Rodgers.
Like, you couldn't do this theory for Kirk Cousins. No.
You could do this theory for Aaron Rodgers. Although,

Speaker 3 we saw his calf.

Speaker 1 We saw his calf happen.

Speaker 3 It was like the KD thing. Yeah.
So he got the same, well, he got the same type of surgery, right? The speed bridge. Yeah.
That

Speaker 3 what's his name? Spionic. Yeah, Georgia.

Speaker 1 um uh brock bowers had no brock bowers had an ankle injury he had yeah no he had the um the zip tie put in his ankle i thought that was also a speed bridge i know it was a different injury yeah that's the alabama ankle the tua thing where they just they're like oh you have a really bad sprain let me just zip tie your ankle together the doctor actually just takes you into the surgery room and just rubs some dirt yeah

Speaker 3 you're gonna get back out there but um i i don't think

Speaker 3 i don't think he's as close to coming back especially if you see that offensive line like why would you

Speaker 3 come back off the most major surgery you can have and then agree to play back there?

Speaker 1 Right. He's throwing the ball.
He's not running around running for his life, which you'd have to do. It would be a great story.
I'm rooting for him to come back.

Speaker 1 He's a reformed Aaron Rodgers fan or former hater, now fan. I'm rooting for him to come back.

Speaker 1 I just think that, you know, it's a little much every single Sunday or Monday being like, do you see this pass?

Speaker 3 I think they should have him just run out onto the field with the American flag before every game.

Speaker 1 Oh, that was what Memes was in.

Speaker 1 That would recreate memes. Had his password to his account, yeah, because he did tweet this was cool.
Uh, and it was just a video of Aaron Rodgers coming out on the field.

Speaker 1 So his Wi-Fi worked for that.

Speaker 3 That should be his job for the rest of the year.

Speaker 3 Just get the people amped up, memes.

Speaker 3 You're on.

Speaker 6 He's giving Max the deaths there for not turning his mic.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Max forgot to push a button again.

Speaker 1 This is lash out.

Speaker 3 Memes is such a dick. He's such a dick.

Speaker 1 He's such a dick.

Speaker 3 Now his fucking mic's off.

Speaker 1 This is great, though, because it's really like memes cares a lot about the Jets, and he's acting accordingly. Going radio silent, being a dick to everyone.

Speaker 1 This is how people should cope with their team, coming to the realization that you're wasting an all-time defense on Zach Wilson.

Speaker 3 I just wish that the Jets would make it fun at least, you know? And we get him again Sunday night.

Speaker 1 Great.

Speaker 3 We need to see them do something that's entertaining. We threw out all the best names names as quarterbacks that should step in on a week-to-week basis.

Speaker 3 Can you imagine how funny it would be watching Carson Wentz behind that offensive line?

Speaker 3 You want to talk about a guy running for his life and completely losing it in the backfield. Carson Wentz would be so funny.

Speaker 1 He'd break both ankles again. We have, yeah, so

Speaker 1 the upcoming standalone games is the true sicko hour. It's like we're testing our mettle as sports fans because you have to remind yourself that in

Speaker 1 May, you would kill for these games. But we have Thursday night Bears-Panthers, Sunday morning in Germany, Colts, Patriots, Sunday night, Raiders, Jets, Monday night, Broncos, Bills.

Speaker 1 Broncos, Bills, my only good team.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Kind of fun.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 it is really going to like, you sure you love football? Watch every single one of these standalone games. Then we can tell you that you love football.
I do love football. I do too.

Speaker 1 We would, if I read that same list to you in July, you'd be like, give it to me right now.

Speaker 3 I can talk myself into anything. Yeah.
Now, I might watch the morning game in Germany from bed and maybe take a snooze at halftime. Yeah.
And might not be like totally focused in on that.

Speaker 3 But the Jets, just don't give us the Jets in prime time anymore, please. This is

Speaker 1 the last one. Tears in my eyes.
They have

Speaker 1 a Black Friday game, which we will also have college football on that day, so you can at least have something else to watch. Yeah.

Speaker 3 The Jets were not playing football last night. No.
It was not a football game.

Speaker 1 Means? No. And then

Speaker 1 I'm on. All right.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then when they're playing that bad, I just don't know why they just don't give the ball to Brees Hall like a thousand times. And then they put Dalvin Cook in, who does nothing.

Speaker 1 So Brees Hall does good. Put Dalvin Cook in, does absolutely nothing.
They should cut him. I hate Dalvin Cook.
Oh,

Speaker 1 recurring guests. Yeah, no, I'm done with the Dalvin Cook experiment.

Speaker 3 Brees Hall. Do you think it has anything to do with maybe the grotesque offensive line he's running behind?

Speaker 5 And the fact that they know they can't pass.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 you can still get downfield. You can still run.
Yeah, you can still run. You can still run? Running backs run.

Speaker 1 That is true. Good analysis.
Running backs do run.

Speaker 1 So overall, memes, final thoughts? I think the season's over. Okay.
Wow, that was quick. That was really quick.

Speaker 3 They went from being the one seed in the NFC to season over, overnight.

Speaker 1 I mean, the Zach Wilson roller coaster ride is just not you want to get off you're you've you've puked all over yourself so many times and it's like a uh carny with like three teeth that just keeps hitting it even harder like hey oh oh you're puking well i'm not letting you get off my ride yeah that's what's happening it's iowa football you saw the punt return touchdown last night and you're just like all right the game's over well no no no no no no iowa would never give up a punt return you're right you're right you're right their special teams is elite

Speaker 1 but still to my point punt return touchdown game is over and then you just have to watch four quarters quarters of

Speaker 1 shit. Yeah.

Speaker 3 At least it seemed like the game went by pretty quick last night. Did I just make that up or did it ended pretty early? Yeah, it did.

Speaker 1 It felt like it went by.

Speaker 1 That game took forever. No, I thought it was fun.

Speaker 1 All right. So before we do college football, we should also mention last night, JMU.
Yes.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you had it on your hot seat, cool throwing, but I figured they deserve the beginning of the show.

Speaker 3 They do have a basketball team, Hank. We talked about it on Monday's show, and I said, yeah, they're playing against Michigan State.
And you're like, ooh, gross. You're going to get your ass kicked.

Speaker 3 Well, it turns out it was going to be my hot seat. My hot seat was going to be Tom Izzo.
Sorry. Back on the hot seat.

Speaker 1 I figured GMU deserved

Speaker 1 it. I appreciate that.

Speaker 3 I appreciate the acknowledgement for the University of Virginia, JMU.

Speaker 3 Tom Izzo, we put him on the hot seat as a take that we were squatting on, or at least I did back in 2016. I don't want to lump you guys into my bad take.

Speaker 1 No, I think I've been like, I've,

Speaker 1 let's just say I haven't been pushing back. Yes.

Speaker 3 Yeah. So it was 2016.

Speaker 1 I don't totally agree, but I'm not like PFT, you're crazy.

Speaker 3 It was 2016, and Tom Izzo was still very much, and still very much is, a great basketball coach. Yeah.

Speaker 3 But I knew that at some point, the final fours weren't going to come at a rapid enough basis for people to be like, oh, Izzo is still the greatest coach in college basketball.

Speaker 3 And so we just squatted on a take and said, Tom Izzo is overrated. We don't actually believe it now, but just wait because the conversation is going to happen.
We want to be the first ones to say it.

Speaker 4 Now,

Speaker 3 I'm starting to believe it a little bit. Here's some fun stats about the game last night.

Speaker 1 You ready for this? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Michigan State is the first top five team to lose its season opener against an unranked opponent since 2005. Do you know who lost that game? Who? It was also Michigan State who lost to Hawaii.

Speaker 1 This is a bye game, too. They paid JMU to come and play basketball.

Speaker 3 Yeah, we cucked him.

Speaker 1 They paid for their friends.

Speaker 3 They cucked. Tom Izzard sat in the corner and touched his tiny little penis while JMU just dunked all over his court and was like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, I like it.
I like watching you do that to my court.

Speaker 1 I feel like Tom Izzard might have a hog. You think so? He's a little cool guy.
I know. He might have

Speaker 1 an Italian, Italian stallion.

Speaker 3 He might have used to have a hog. Yeah.

Speaker 3 But I don't know. I've seen him

Speaker 3 wrap his hands around his players' throats before. It looks like he's got some experience gripping wide shafts.

Speaker 3 James Madison beat them 79-76. It's Michigan State's first November home loss since 1986.

Speaker 1 Long time.

Speaker 3 It's also Jamie's first win against a ranked opponent since 1992. Whoa.
When we beat Jason Kidd. I think they were ranked like number 19 in the country.

Speaker 3 And it was Lefty Drizzell as our head coach at the time.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's very cool. JMU is a good team.
They're a good basketball team. I think they're picked by the coaches to finish first at the Sun Belt.
They've got some good players.

Speaker 3 I will say that Michigan State probably won't shoot as poorly as they did.

Speaker 1 One for 20.

Speaker 3 One for 20 from three.

Speaker 6 They had 14 free throws missed.

Speaker 3 Yeah, the first half, they missed everything. The refs, by the way, refs and the announcers, both of them.

Speaker 1 They're trying very hard to get Michigan State to win that game.

Speaker 3 They tried so hard. They should be arrested.
It should be investigated.

Speaker 3 I think that there's some funny stuff going on up in East Lansing. But

Speaker 3 yeah, they also, you know, JMU played them tough. And I don't think Michigan State's going to play that poorly.
They'll probably be fine.

Speaker 3 But if you beat the number four team in the country, big cat, in their own stadium. Yeah, you should be number four.
You should be number four in the country.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you should get to keep it. JMU should be.

Speaker 3 It's a big year.

Speaker 1 You walk away with that ranking.

Speaker 3 It's a big year for JMU sports. Not only are we, you know, in line for a New Year's Six Bowl, potentially, if the NCAA completely changes his mind about everything.

Speaker 1 They always do.

Speaker 3 Also, we're 1-0 in basketball with a huge win. And our soccer team just beat the number one team in the country, UCF.

Speaker 1 Look at that.

Speaker 3 Duke Dogs, baby.

Speaker 1 Duke Dogs. Yeah, JMU should be the number four team, and Michigan State should be picked to win the Sun Belt.
Agreed. They should be swapped.

Speaker 1 Fully swapped.

Speaker 3 I think that's fine.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Did you see the wild meter part of the game?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 6 Matt Buckland, JMU assistant coach, is the nephew of Tom Isa.

Speaker 1 Whoa, that is wonderful.

Speaker 3 That is wild. Opening night.
Uncle Tom's cabin is going to be pretty empty around Thanksgiving. Damn.

Speaker 1 Wow. Wild meter.
Big time wild meter. It was great to have college basketball back.

Speaker 1 When you were rattling off all that stuff about Izzo, is Tom Izzo Aaron Rodgers? And Aaron Rodgers Tom Izzo?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I think so.

Speaker 1 They win one early,

Speaker 1 have some moderate, you know, some success, Final Fours, NFC Championship games. Win one early enough that everyone talks about you in this status, in this tier, that you don't belong.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 And also it helps that he's like best friends with Coach K and Jim Bay Hymn.

Speaker 1 Everyone's like, oh, Coach K and Izzo, like, they just win championships. They've won six together.

Speaker 3 Yeah, they go out together as a crew, and it's like between them, they've got 10 championships.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 6 And the same teams, both in the Midwest. Yep.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Good point.

Speaker 3 I think Izzo probably still hasn't called off practice yet. They probably stayed at the gym and practiced for about 10 hours last night.
Probably has him shooting foul shots.

Speaker 3 He's going to use this as motivation. No, this loss was good.
They'll make a run, and and I think Michigan State's going to be a pretty good team.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so the one thing that you can go to if you're a Michigan State fan, because you obviously spent all football season saying wait till basketball season, then basketball season started and you lost to JMU at home.

Speaker 1 The 2000 national title team lost to Wright State in the non-conference, an 11-17 Wright State.

Speaker 3 Those are the mental gymnastics you just have to do right now. This is a good wake-up call for that program.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I think they played Duke next week at the University of Chicago.

Speaker 3 I also think that now that Boeheim is in the media, he's going to be gassing up Izzo.

Speaker 1 Did you see that one guy at the Carrier Dome? I love that guy. So there was a guy at the Carrier Dome that said

Speaker 1 Syracuse alum, first game since 1975.

Speaker 1 First game back since 1975. Jim Bohem started his coaching in 1976.
He just hates Jim Bohem. I respect that.

Speaker 1 That's a, I mean, imagine, because like the guy was, he was an alum, old, and

Speaker 1 like, imagine holding on to a grudge, knowing that you might not, he might outlive you. Yeah.
Like, Jim Ahon might still coach, and you'll be dead, and you just outlived that grudge.

Speaker 1 No, that guy, that's the best moment he ever had.

Speaker 3 And he had a necklace. The necklace with the sign on it was so good.
That guy probably hates his own defense. He loves man-to-man.
He's like, thank God that guy's gone.

Speaker 3 I can't watch that shit anymore.

Speaker 1 He follows all safety protocols when driving a car, that kind of stuff. Yep.

Speaker 7 1-0 in the red Autry era.

Speaker 1 0-1 against the spread.

Speaker 1 Sorry. All that matters.
Sorry. All that matters.

Speaker 1 You should win by more than 14 if you're Syracuse playing who they play. New Hampshire.
New Hampshire. Yeah, you should win by more than 14.
Ah, okay. Let's get some college football.

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Speaker 1 College football. Boys, the monster is back.
The monster is back. Alabama.
We all rode him off. The monster is officially back.
Alabama is all the way back.

Speaker 1 Jalen Milro has figured it out. He's actually been phenomenal since he got got benched.

Speaker 1 It was the Texas game, then he got benched, I think, for the USF game. And now he's back.
And Tommy Reese and Jalen Milro have figured this thing out. He is playing out of this world good.

Speaker 1 63% passing, I think, the last five games, seven touchdowns, only two interceptions, seven rushing touchdowns on top of that.

Speaker 3 He has a stat.

Speaker 1 In the last five games, Jalen Milro is 25 of 40 for passes of at least 15 air yards for 764 yards and 11 touchdowns.

Speaker 3 Yeah, their offense is so fun to watch because I don't think they really trust them with an intermediate passing game. No, they just have them do like dump-offs.

Speaker 3 They'll have them do wide receiver screens, bubble screens, and then they're like, you know what? Fuck it, Jalen, just throw it deep. He's got a great deep ball, and he's also able to run the ball.

Speaker 3 He ran over Harold Perkins. Yeah.
He like put Harold Perkins in the ground.

Speaker 1 He also made a couple plays. So Saturday night was just like pure college football ecstasy when we had LSU, Alabama, and then at the same time, Washington versus USC.

Speaker 1 and it was four quarterbacks just playing out of their minds.

Speaker 1 Like, just every single, every single minute you look back, and it's either Jaden Daniels or Jalen Milro or Michael Pennix or Caleb Williams making an incredible play. But Jalen Milro,

Speaker 1 that move he makes where he like looks like he's not going to run and then he just hits the turbos and everyone is caught standing in place.

Speaker 1 He had that one touchdown run where he kind of rolled right and he kept his shoulders

Speaker 1 like cocked for a throw and all the LSU players just stood in place. And then he just hit

Speaker 1 this little tiny hole for a 15-yard touchdown. It's incredible watching him play football because he was so bad in that Texas game and the start of the season.

Speaker 1 And I was at that Texas game, and Alabama fans were like, how are we going to be able to figure this out?

Speaker 1 I think our take was right from September. I think this is Nick Saban's best coaching job.

Speaker 3 I think he would agree with that.

Speaker 1 Because what they've done with Jalen Milro, like his ability now,

Speaker 1 they're playing to his strengths. He's able to get outside the pocket.
They're not making him a pocket passer. Alabama,

Speaker 1 I mean, it feels like destiny that they're going to play Georgia in the SEC championship.

Speaker 3 And they could beat Georgia. And if they beat Georgia, both of those teams get into the college football playoff, I think.

Speaker 3 Now, it's going to get interesting because you can make the argument, like, what happens with Michigan and Ohio State? And then you got Florida State as well.

Speaker 1 I think Michigan and Ohio State's an elimination game.

Speaker 3 You think so? Yeah.

Speaker 3 What happens this weekend with Penn State?

Speaker 1 The only way, if they're both undefeated in that game, the only way that it's not an elimination game is if other teams catch a couple losses.

Speaker 1 So like if Florida State loses, if Texas loses again, and Michigan beats Ohio State close, Ohio State could find a way to sneak in. Essentially what happened last year.

Speaker 3 You know what's going to be funny, though, because Texas has a very good possibility. They could drop an easy one to like TCU or something.

Speaker 1 If they go to TCU, then they go to Iowa State, which would be tough.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so it's by no means like a gimme schedule for them. But if they end up with one loss and Alabama ends up with one loss, but Alabama beat Georgia,

Speaker 3 then Texas gets left out, even though Texas' best win is over Alabama, who has the best win over Georgia.

Speaker 1 I think they would put, I think they would, as crazy as it sounds to not have any SEC teams in the final four,

Speaker 1 if you had Florida State undefeated, if you had Michigan undefeated, and Texas.

Speaker 1 Actually, what they'd probably do is keep out the Pac-12. That's what they would do.
They'd put Texas and Alabama in.

Speaker 3 If Washington goes undefeated?

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I guess Washington could still go undefeated. Yeah, so I think they put Texas in over Alabama, though.
You can't have, I mean, head-to-head has to count.

Speaker 3 But yeah, it does to people that make sense and think logically, but to

Speaker 3 the people that are so invested in college football and have had Alabama around for so long as part of this national juggernaut.

Speaker 3 I do think that if Alabama beats Georgia in the SEC championship game, they would get in over Texas, even though Texas beat beat them. I don't think so.
Because Texas lost.

Speaker 3 Because you can flip that coin. This is what's so funny about these arguments is you can flip the coin and say, well, Texas lost to Oklahoma, who might stink now.

Speaker 3 Alabama's loss was to a really, really good Texas team. A Texas team so good that they might even be better than Alabama.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the only problem is that Alabama, so right now Texas is in front of Alabama, I believe. And yeah, I mean, the Georgia win would maybe push them.

Speaker 1 What's so funny is I love this time of year because we play out all these hypotheticals. It will all get figured out.
I think there will be losses that we don't see coming that will happen.

Speaker 1 It will be like, holy shit, I guess that eliminates that team.

Speaker 1 It could be, you know, Washington loses, then Oregon catches a loss, then Oregon beats Washington in the Pac-12 Championship, something like that.

Speaker 1 Or, like you said, Michigan maybe loses to Penn State, and all this is like, what are we even talking about?

Speaker 1 It's funny, though, because we go through all these hypotheticals, and the thing that I would bet on more than anything is

Speaker 1 chaos around the country, Alabama beating Georgia, and then both of them getting in.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's that we spent all season being like, but what if the SEC doesn't get anyone in? No, that's right. And it's like, no, maybe they get two teams as always.
That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I think we're going to end up with Georgia and Alabama in the final four. I could be wrong.
I do think that Michigan is going to smoke Penn State. Sorry, Max.
It just depends on if

Speaker 1 there's undefeated teams. You can't put a one-lost team over an undefeated team.
It just won't happen.

Speaker 3 I agree.

Speaker 3 I think Penn State - their defense is really, really good, Max. I want to start off by paying you a compliment.
Penn State's defense is as good as probably almost any team that I've seen this year,

Speaker 3 but their offense is just, it's Jets' caliber.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Not, yeah. Yeah.
Okay. Thank you.
Drew Aller could be good.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 I will be at Penn State, Michigan this weekend. So that's definitely a lose.
No, I think that would be 100% okay.

Speaker 3 That's a point for why they're going to win?

Speaker 1 Well, I'm due.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I mean, but you've been due for a while.

Speaker 1 You're like 10 months ago. Just for a regular season.

Speaker 1 You do good there.

Speaker 1 Which,

Speaker 1 yeah, that's true. Nah, college football is different.
College football is different.

Speaker 3 It's like every game is a playoff game in college football. Are we going to miss that next year? No, because the fact that there's going to be a 12-team playoff, and so if you have like

Speaker 3 two losses that would normally completely sink your season, are we going to miss how much each game means?

Speaker 1 No, because games will still matter a lot when you have buys and home games. Right.

Speaker 1 The buys are going to be huge. Think about it.

Speaker 1 Like a team like LSU with Jaden Daniels, who's having a Heisman caliber season, but his defense sucks, could still be playing for a playoff spot right now, even with three losses.

Speaker 1 So I think it's going to ⁇ I know that people make the argument like, oh, it diminishes the regular season.

Speaker 1 We're just going to shift, and the teams 8 through 12, when they have one or two losses, are going to still be playing for a lot.

Speaker 1 Like Penn State would still be playing for them to get into the college football playoff. Oklahoma would somehow still be alive on an outside chance.
Like all these teams would still have a chance.

Speaker 1 So I think it will be better. It's going to make it Arizona should get a talk.
Arizona's been awesome.

Speaker 3 It's going to make it more like a normal sport where you're allowed to lose a game occasionally and it doesn't mean that you suck.

Speaker 1 But I still think the importance of like the not catching that second loss will still be very, very important because of buys and home field.

Speaker 1 You know, if they figure it out, I can't remember what the setup is. I think it's the first round goes home field.

Speaker 1 So that will, like, the difference between one loss and two losses could be a home game versus not, which it matters greatly in college football home games. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I, yeah, I think it will still be fun. I wish we had a 12-team playoff this year because there is a ton of parody.

Speaker 1 The craziest thing about Alabama, and if you go by this theory, which makes sense, you look at basically Ari Wasserman, who works at the athletic,

Speaker 1 it's a very common sense theory, but he actually put a tag to it a few years ago. And so once you put a good name on it, it basically everyone, it becomes mainstream.

Speaker 1 The stars matter theory, which makes perfect sense. Like having good players matter.

Speaker 1 And if you look at the recruiting profile of national title teams, it's essentially like you have to be at a certain threshold to win a national title.

Speaker 1 You have to have the dudes to win a national title. And the only three teams that are in that

Speaker 1 upper, upper echelon are Ohio State, Georgia, and Alabama. So you just let Alabama, who could very well win a national title with the dudes they have, back into the conversation.

Speaker 1 Dudes matter, stars matter, dudes matter. I like coaching.
Michigan, obviously, like very dudes matter.

Speaker 3 Fight back against

Speaker 3 toxic femininity out there.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but that's it.

Speaker 1 It's the TCU last year. TCU had an incredible run, but if you look at their recruiting profile, it's like there's no chance they can beat Georgia.
Yeah. And there was no chance to beat them.

Speaker 1 They were just

Speaker 3 completely outsized. They shouldn't have beaten Michigan.
Yeah. But coaching matters too, big cat.
Yeah. That's the one thing.

Speaker 1 Stealing signs matter. So let's talk about that.
The latest

Speaker 1 update on Connor Stallions, he quit, resigned.

Speaker 3 Yeah, he resigned.

Speaker 1 He resigned. Ride or die guy.
I think there's never been a guy that I'm more sure that will not snitch than Connor Stallions.

Speaker 3 Kept his mouth shut.

Speaker 1 Kept his mouth shut. Now we're in a weird spot where

Speaker 1 the Big Ten, and as a member of the Big Ten, I can say this, are being a bunch of crybabies. So Michigan did cheat.

Speaker 1 They probably should get some kind of, you know, suspension or something, but this whole like anonymous meetings of all the Big Ten coaches and ADs and being like, Jim Harbaugh should be disbanded, that's fucking crybaby shit.

Speaker 1 You haven't beaten him in two years. Don't put your name on it.
You know what I mean? Like if you want to say that Jim Harbaugh should not be coaching right now, put your name on it.

Speaker 1 Don't do the anonymous source shit. Say, come out.

Speaker 1 A coach should come out and say he should not be coaching right now because then I think all coaches are probably scared because then they open up Pandora's box of what are they doing in the gray area.

Speaker 1 So I don't, anytime there's like, oh, yeah, all the teams met and we don't have anyone on record, but they all think that Michigan should never play football again, shut up. And I love babies.

Speaker 3 I love all the extra wrinkles that are coming out about how people are speculating that's Ryan Day's brother, who's a CIA member who was in charge of the investigation.

Speaker 8 Fourth and one investigation.

Speaker 3 And apparently, whoever, is that the name of it? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Shut the fuck up.

Speaker 3 Fourth and one investigation.

Speaker 1 I think it's fourth and one private investigation.

Speaker 3 Is his entire law firm just based around of like drawing those lines on the field to see whether or not Michigan made a first down in that one Thanksgiving Day game?

Speaker 1 Yeah, fourth and one investigations and protective agency LLC.

Speaker 3 I love that. So

Speaker 3 all the conspiracies around that are just so, so perfect. There are people saying that

Speaker 3 there's now been alleged computer crimes committed. Yes.

Speaker 3 So whoever was in charge of the investigation illegally accessed some of Michigan's school records, which is, that would be, it would be so perfect if they committed an actual crime in order to set up Michigan or uncover a fake crime, a college football crime that Michigan was doing.

Speaker 3 And then somebody ended up having to go to jail for a federal

Speaker 3 data security crime and got Jim Harbaugh fired, which college football fans are so crazy that they'd probably take that deal. So yeah, I'll do two years.
Send me off.

Speaker 1 Connor Stallions would do life in prison if if it meant Michigan won a national title.

Speaker 3 The problem I have with Connor Stallions, and this is where it starts to get fishy for me, he is like a big OPSEC guy, right? He knows about

Speaker 3 espionage. He knows about sign stealing, covert operations.

Speaker 3 Why did he put his name on all these transactions? Why did he put his name on the ticket purchases knowing that he was on record as being on the Michigan staff? Like,

Speaker 3 something with that is a little bit fishy. That doesn't add up to me for him.

Speaker 1 Is it actually Jim Harbaugh and he made up connor stallions listen that's the that's what the this entire investigation is going to come down to is if they can find proof that jim harbaugh knew because that's really all like michigan is now being like hey yeah connor stallions acted alone yeah that's our that's our defense and it is funny because the nca changed their bylaws uh i can't remember it was a few years ago where they basically make uh every college football team they can like prosecute them under the rico act where it's like you can't no college football coach can say Well, I didn't know.

Speaker 1 They're like, if he's employed, you knew, but that's what they're going to have to try to prove. Yeah.
They're going to have to show how Jim Harbaugh knew.

Speaker 1 Otherwise, they'll give him a slap on the wrist and Connor Stallions will be gone. And then Michigan be like, well, yeah, we didn't know.
He acted alone.

Speaker 3 So if you're the Big Ten, actually, if you're Michigan, people complaining, like, oh, Michigan's like... holding up this entire investigation.
What do you expect them to do?

Speaker 3 Like, do you expect Michigan to be like, okay, we're going to come clean. Here's everything that we knew and how we knew it.

Speaker 3 No, you're going to drag your feet because you're going to be competing for a national championship. So you don't want anything to come out in the next couple of weeks.

Speaker 3 You're not going to be, you're going to be putting off meetings left and right. You're going to be changing calendar invites saying, oh, sorry, I didn't get that.

Speaker 3 I was on, I thought it was in Central Time, not Eastern time.

Speaker 3 They're going to be absolutely holding this investigation up because the Big Ten, they do have all the power. So the Big Ten could have said,

Speaker 3 we're going to let the NCAA handle this and we're going to put it in their court. But the Big Ten is investigating and they are the ones that could do something about it.

Speaker 3 If they found something, but also if you're the Big Ten, you wouldn't. And why would you? Because you've got a team with a chance to go to Renati.
Correct. And then you all get money.

Speaker 1 Correct. You know what? You can't,

Speaker 3 the Big Ten should be investigated under the RICO Act.

Speaker 1 You can't, if you're the Big Ten,

Speaker 1 be like, oh, Michigan's not playing the Big Ten championship or Michigan doesn't, the rest of their season doesn't count.

Speaker 1 You just signed these huge, huge TV deals, and Michigan is very important to those TV deals. So I think they're just going to keep passing the buck, being like, no, NCAA, you figure out.

Speaker 1 All right, NCAA, you take forever. What's going to end up happening is Michigan is going to play the whole season.
Nothing's going to happen like a year from now.

Speaker 1 They're going to be like, oh, Michigan, like,

Speaker 1 you can't have like 10, we're taking away 10 recruits. Yeah.

Speaker 3 And then Harbaugh is going to be gone. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then we'll all be like, okay, well, I guess that's how it's settled.

Speaker 3 I love that Michigan is now becoming big due process guys. Yeah.
Like, let's wait for due process. We all get due process.

Speaker 3 Jim Harbaugh is going to get into like the sovereign citizen movement and be like, this, I don't have to say a word, lawyer. Yeah.
That's all you're going to say. Shut the fuck up Fridays.

Speaker 1 Lawyer. Yeah.
Yeah. Pretty much.
Yeah. That's all.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Like Michigan can very easily get away with it this year. And then who knows what happens in the future.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they want to win a national title this year.

Speaker 3 What they can prove. But if they win a national champion, that's that is, I think, my dream scenario.
Yeah. Michigan wins the national title and then for the next hundred years.
Yeah, we strip it.

Speaker 1 We, we, we make fun of it. And then, but Michigan fans are like, but flags fly forever.

Speaker 3 But those wins didn't happen.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's going to be great. It's going to be great.

Speaker 3 And then we get into like a big court battle over whether or not they're allowed to actually have a national championship banner in their stadium.

Speaker 4 Yeah, although like J.J.

Speaker 1 McCarthy's not allowed back on campus. The status of the Chris Rebers situation.
Yeah, all that stuff. All right, a couple other things we've got to touch on.
Bedlam was awesome.

Speaker 1 I'm happy for Oklahoma State. Having Oklahoma leave and the rivalry be done, you had to win that last game.

Speaker 1 The non-PI call was hilarious because I have no problem if Big 12 officials were like, yeah, fuck them.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 what did they play?

Speaker 1 They played some Taylor Swift after. I think it was Lee.

Speaker 3 They're never getting back together.

Speaker 1 So I'm happy for Oklahoma State. That was great.
They are playing good football. They could easily be in the Big 12 championship game.
So I'm happy for Oklahoma State, Mike Gundy.

Speaker 1 You have to win your last game if your rival's leaving you for greener pastures. I agree.

Speaker 3 Mike Gundy has a great setup in Stillwater, too.

Speaker 3 We were talking about this a couple weeks ago with Penn State of how if you're not ever really going to be the point where where you're going to win a national championship, like carve yourself out a nice little niche and be happy with it.

Speaker 3 And Mike Gundy has been a great coach for how, when was the I'm 40, I'm a man speech. That was 2007.

Speaker 1 That was like 10, 15 years ago.

Speaker 3 It was so long ago. And he's, he's got seasons where he flashes, where you talk about their offense.
This year, it's not their offense, really. Their defense has been.

Speaker 1 Well, their running back, Ollie, is, I mean, he's one of the best. He missed like the first few games.
He's incredible.

Speaker 1 He's gotten into a dark horse Heisman, which I think the Heisman, by the way,

Speaker 1 now that Jaden Daniels lost to Alabama and he's been playing phenomenal,

Speaker 1 his defense shouldn't count against him. I think the Heisman is going to just come down to if Oregon and Washington play in the Pac-12 championship game, Bonix or Michael Pennix, who plays better.

Speaker 1 And it would be so awesome if Bonix won the Heisman

Speaker 1 after the meme. Yeah.
Like, it would just be full circle. Bonix, just, I think it was last week,

Speaker 1 hit the most college football games played as a quarterback. You know what would be great about it?

Speaker 3 It would be so perfect because we would get two separate boneks for Heisman campaigns in the same year. Yeah.
And it feels like we've had those for the past five years. It's pretty much

Speaker 1 stronger.

Speaker 3 Now he gets two in the last one.

Speaker 1 But it does feel like the winner, unless Marvin Harrison Jr.

Speaker 1 puts up 300 yards and five touchdowns in

Speaker 1 the Maserati Marv. I think that it will come down to those two guys playing head-to-head and who wins.

Speaker 3 Jaden Daniels, by the way, with the LSU loss, I almost want to upgrade LSU in my personal rankings for that loss because they were right in the game when he was playing and he gets

Speaker 3 knocked out. That's a great trade if you're Alabama and if you're an LSU fan, you're like, hey, you remember Devin White? You remember what happened with that? Yeah.
A little reciprocity here. Yeah.

Speaker 3 But the way LSU played before their quarterback got knocked out, like you could make the argument that they deserve to at least hold firm in the standing.

Speaker 1 Yes, I'd agree. All right, last two things I had.

Speaker 1 Lincoln Riley finally decided that whatever blackmail Alex Grinch has on him is not worth it.

Speaker 1 So he got fired. Alex Grinch, one of the most confusing defensive coordinator jobs for, it feels like forever we've been talking about him.

Speaker 1 He finally got fired because that was pathetic. USC, and they're tackling and just guys, like every single time Michael Pennix

Speaker 1 dropped back, there was a guy wide open. They don't tackle.
They do not tackle. Caleb Williams, people were getting on him for crying.
I'm fine with it. Yeah, I'm okay with crying.
Cry. Why not?

Speaker 1 Crying's not bad. Yeah.
I'd cry if I had that defense, too.

Speaker 3 You're allowed to cry two times. You're allowed to cry if you lose a big game because it shows that you are committed to your teammates

Speaker 3 and you're allowed to cry during the national anthem.

Speaker 1 Not before the Super Bowl if you lose.

Speaker 3 Retroactively.

Speaker 1 Yeah, retroactively.

Speaker 3 Don't do that. So,

Speaker 3 yeah, I was listening to the Andy Staples show earlier this week, and he was talking about how it actually would be a good thing for Grinch to get fired.

Speaker 3 Like, it would have been a good thing for Grinch to lose his job in the offseason, even, because the way that Lincoln Riley runs their practices, they don't allow tackling.

Speaker 3 Maybe once a week they'll do some live drills, but their defense doesn't practice tackling ever.

Speaker 3 And if you go to a different program with a different coach that gives a shit about defense, like Georgia, for example, he said, like most, most big programs, they will allow you to tackle in practice.

Speaker 1 Well, it's a theme that we've seen a lot with air-raid offense.

Speaker 1 The defenses usually struggle because in practice, the air raid offense is just fucking ripping them apart and they never get to practice against like, they never get to actually practice fundamentals.

Speaker 1 They're just trying to catch up.

Speaker 3 You can get all the like $100,000 tackling dummies that you want that have wheels on the bottom and like robot antennas that move around, but you should actually practice tackling. Practice tackling.

Speaker 1 Last thing I had, and he is a friend of the show, but people get upset when we don't criticize our friends. I will do it right now.

Speaker 1 I thought Deion putting Pat Shermer as the offensive coordinator was a crazy move. Yeah.
And

Speaker 1 I know Sean Lewis is a friend and he went to Wisconsin, but Sean Lewis was not the problem with Colorado. And it felt like Deion is like trying to press panic buttons left and right.

Speaker 1 And they kind of did Sean Lewis pretty dirty. And Pat Shermer's a bad coach.
And they went in that game against Oregon State. They had three points and 78 yards through three quarters.

Speaker 1 That offense was not Sean Lewis's fault. Like the Colorado's problems was not Sean Lewis's fault.
It was that

Speaker 3 bottom line was very deceiving in that game because Colorado was never in it.

Speaker 1 No, and they scored at the end.

Speaker 1 But yeah, that was not. Sean Lewis got done dirty.

Speaker 1 He was not the problem. Their offensive line is not great.
Their defense has struggled.

Speaker 1 Like, Sean Lewis was very low on the list of issues with Colorado, and it felt like Deion just needed someone to blame. And that sucks because I don't think that was the right move.

Speaker 1 I thought that was a shitty move by Deion.

Speaker 3 Pat Shermer is the all-time. People forget that he was head coach of the New York Giants.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. And the Browns.
And the Browns. Really bad head coach.

Speaker 3 Very bad head coach. Really bad head coach.
Deion's going to get bigger dudes, though.

Speaker 3 Once he gets bigger dudes, I think Colorado will be good I think they'll be they'll even improve on on this season and then some next year but right now they like this they were a nice story to start the year yeah because no one really saw it coming but um they're they're not built to win this year I think Shador should go pro I think Dion will have problems getting bigger dudes who have to block for his son it's a weird dynamic You have to at least admit that it's a weird dynamic for the head coach to

Speaker 1 openly trash his offensive line who's blocking for his son.

Speaker 3 He also trashed his son, though.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he did.

Speaker 3 He said we had a lot of problems offensive line, including the quarterback.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and I'm still bullish on Deion

Speaker 1 long term. I just thought that that one move was a panic move that made Sean Lewis look bad and look like

Speaker 1 the failure here when it's way bigger than that. And they probably, the success they had early, how everyone talked about them, ourselves included, doesn't help with them coming back down to earth.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I mean, we just didn't want to get called out by Deion.

Speaker 1 Right. We were very transparent about that.

Speaker 3 We picked him to win every game this season.

Speaker 1 And I will. I'll tell Deion that I don't think he should have had Pat Shermer call plays.
I'll text him that.

Speaker 3 Hope he doesn't see it. Did they find the stuff that was stolen at the Rose Bowl?

Speaker 1 What was stolen?

Speaker 1 Oh, yes, they did. They did.
They did? They did. Okay, good.
They did. They found it.

Speaker 3 This is like a recurring thing for Deion. Yeah.
He gets a lot of stuff stolen.

Speaker 1 Well, he's got swag.

Speaker 3 Maybe change your security, Deion.

Speaker 1 He's got swag. He also, all right, here's one positive for Deion.
Ditched the sunglasses. Yep.
So he's listening. Yep.
Smart move.

Speaker 3 Oh, Arthur Smith also shaved the mustache.

Speaker 1 Smart move. Smart move at this point.
Smart move. You got to take it, you got to, you got to minimize the mistakes that you're putting out there with sunglasses and mustaches.
All right.

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Hank.

Speaker 5 Hot seat is myself.

Speaker 1 Oh, why is that?

Speaker 5 After the Patriots Commanders game,

Speaker 5 the Patriots lost. I knew I had to do a presentation.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 So I started. I wanted to get started early.
I had some thoughts in my mind. I wanted to put pen to paper via laptop.

Speaker 5 So I...

Speaker 3 You wanted to put finger to button?

Speaker 5 Finger to button. Max.
Shout out to Max.

Speaker 5 Couldn't find my laptop. Searched all around Sunday.
Just couldn't find it. I walked around 100 times.

Speaker 5 You guys probably saw me just coming in, looking underneath things, trying to find it, trying to retrace my steps. Knew I had it here.
Find my iPhone. Had it here.

Speaker 5 Every time I've left the office, it said, you know, you've left your laptop behind.

Speaker 5 So I knew it was in the facility, couldn't find it, slept on it, said I'll come back tomorrow, stronger, better, faster, hungrier. Find it Monday.

Speaker 1 Nope.

Speaker 5 Spent all day Monday. I was losing my mind.
Question.

Speaker 1 TFT.

Speaker 3 Earlier this fall, you said that you're going to be all work

Speaker 3 during the fall. You weren't going to be golfing.

Speaker 5 I'm going to be living at the office.

Speaker 3 You'll be working all the time.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 3 And you haven't had your laptop for how long?

Speaker 5 It was last seen on Thursday. Yeah.

Speaker 5 I had calls. I had meetings yesterday that I did at my home because I have a PC there, but I did it.

Speaker 3 And then I came up with it. I thought you were going to be living at the office, though.

Speaker 5 I had to do these calls. I didn't want to do them anymore.

Speaker 1 Well, your computer was at the office.

Speaker 5 I couldn't find it. I could not find it.

Speaker 1 So you lost your computer for seven days?

Speaker 5 No.

Speaker 4 And you are

Speaker 5 a couple days the weekend, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, as we know.

Speaker 5 And then it's basically one day. I lost my computer for one day, Monday.

Speaker 5 And then I came in super early to find it so I could do this presentation. I have a good outline.
I have some thought starters. I needed to, you know, put it together.

Speaker 3 Can I see the outline?

Speaker 1 No, let's say, we'll save it for Friday. No, because he doesn't have an outline.
I have a Google Doc.

Speaker 1 He does have an outline. I do.

Speaker 3 So, Hank,

Speaker 3 yeah, I'm disappointed. I'm not mad.
I'm just disappointed.

Speaker 5 Well, I did have the chance.

Speaker 5 I could have, you know,

Speaker 5 billied it and just thrown something together. I had about 20 minutes and I could have thrown something together and done a half-assed effort, but I have this long,

Speaker 5 I have links. I have work cited.

Speaker 3 Who farted?

Speaker 1 I think that was my shoe.

Speaker 3 I think Hank just farted.

Speaker 1 No, that was my shoe. Did you hear that, Jake?

Speaker 6 I did not, but I know we're clear because our mics were off.

Speaker 1 So it feels good. Yeah.
That was a fart.

Speaker 5 That was a fart.

Speaker 1 That was a nervous fart. Yeah.
It was a nervous fart.

Speaker 3 Now, Hank, did you do this outline or did you outsource it to somebody else like you did with the original presentation?

Speaker 5 I mean, I have collaborators, esteemed colleagues that I work with, just like any good, you know.

Speaker 3 Oh, also, Hank.

Speaker 1 Education?

Speaker 4 Point of order.

Speaker 3 In your Twitter bio right now, what does it say?

Speaker 3 Because part of the agreement was you were going to change it to acknowledge the Cape Hatteras Lighthouse.

Speaker 1 I mean, I did.

Speaker 3 No, you didn't. You put hater ass.

Speaker 5 The Cape Hatteras Lighthouse is the tallest lighthouse in the continental U.S.

Speaker 3 You spelled it hater ass.

Speaker 1 You are a hater ass.

Speaker 5 How do you spell Hatteras?

Speaker 3 There's just one S.

Speaker 1 No, keep it out.

Speaker 3 It's funny because people thought Hank did that on purpose, but he definitely did not.

Speaker 1 No, 100% didn't.

Speaker 3 He thought obgin was a word like two years ago.

Speaker 5 I mean, again, like, why would you...

Speaker 5 I'm not a female. I've never gone to the fucking OBGYN.
How is that something I would know about?

Speaker 3 Have you ever seen a vagina?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Okay, well, you obviously don't know much about them.

Speaker 5 But when, like, when, at what point in your life did you learn that OBGYN was OBGYN? Like, what

Speaker 1 was like 10 or 10 years? What life event?

Speaker 1 Why?

Speaker 3 Because you just know things, you grow up and you learn things.

Speaker 5 When would you have learned that?

Speaker 1 At what point were they like 10 years old?

Speaker 3 And she's like, oh, I have to go to my OBGYN appointment. That's my option.

Speaker 1 A 10-year-old? No, not when I'm 10. That's what you said.

Speaker 5 You just said that. I said, I learned when I was 10.

Speaker 1 Because you hear words.

Speaker 1 Because you hear what. Sorry.
I got down early. That's disgusting.

Speaker 5 Put it on the bonk list.

Speaker 1 That's gross. Yeah.

Speaker 5 And like, again, again, I don't know. You got down and she was like, I have to go to the doctor now.

Speaker 3 No, obviously I heard that word when I was 10, and I found out.

Speaker 1 Where did you hear it?

Speaker 5 Why would you hear that? I don't know.

Speaker 1 Because life happens. That's early.

Speaker 1 I'm going to step in here that that's early to learn that word.

Speaker 3 You learn life happens.

Speaker 5 Well, I'm learning new things every day, and the listeners and you guys will learn a lot on Friday.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Friday. You're going to have it.

Speaker 5 Gonna get that on Friday. I found my laptop.
Yeah. It was in a desk

Speaker 5 that I walked by maybe 100 times.

Speaker 1 Good hot start. Hot start.
All right.

Speaker 5 And then my cool throne is the Cubs.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was my cool throne, but go ahead.

Speaker 3 Well, I did it first. Yeah.

Speaker 5 A lot of manager, you know,

Speaker 5 musical chairs going on. I don't really know what's going on.

Speaker 5 I don't know why Craig Counsel is like the greatest manager of all time, but Mets fans were really upset that they didn't sign Craig Counsel.

Speaker 5 And then the Cubs did sign Craig Counsel, which caused the Brewers to basically disown him.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, the Brewers owner. The Brewers owner.
The real Hissy Fit.

Speaker 5 We've lost Craig, but I've reflected on this. Craig has lost us and lost our community.

Speaker 1 He lost the community.

Speaker 5 What makes Craig Counsel this messiah of a manager? Craig Counsel is a good manager.

Speaker 1 He's a very good manager. The Brewers don't spend a lot of money, and he's had them competitive every single year.
I'm very excited because I'm sad about David Ross.

Speaker 1 It feels very reminiscent of when Ricky Reneria got fired for Joe Madden, right when the Cubs were like, all right, we're going to start winning.

Speaker 1 And I love David Ross, and it sucked because obviously he probably found out a different way, but I don't think I've ever seen an announcement of a hiring of a manager when you never got the announcement of a firing of a manager.

Speaker 1 It was literally Jeff Passon was like, Craig Counsel's going to the Cubs and then didn't say like, David Ross is fired. I had to wait till for like an hour and Dan Dockets reported breaking news.

Speaker 1 I'm hearing David Ross is out. My ass.
Yeah. So it was a very confusing moment.
That's weird.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was very, it was like stunning because I don't think I know David Ross was on a warm seat with how the Cubs finished.

Speaker 3 Well, they said earlier this season that he was not going to be fired, right? Right. That was before the collapse.

Speaker 1 But here's why I like it. So Craig Counsel is a very good manager.

Speaker 1 I also think this is the sign that the Cubs are ready to start spending and start competing for World Series again because you're not Craig Counsel.

Speaker 1 If you're Craig Counsel, you don't go to the Cubs, your rival. Craig Counsel is from Wisconsin.

Speaker 1 You don't go there unless you have a deal in place from Jed and Tom Ricketts being like, hey, we're going for this. Like, this is the start.

Speaker 1 And they're also paying him $8 million a year, which is a lot of money. I think

Speaker 1 it might be the highest paid manager. So this is good.
I feel good. I'm excited.

Speaker 1 I'm sad for David Ross, but I'm very excited about the future of the Cubs because it does feel like the sign of, hey, we're now going to take this seriously. No more like half-ass rebuilding.

Speaker 1 Like, let's go spend some money. Let's get some really good players.
Craig Counsel is a very good manager. I'm excited.
Cubs are back.

Speaker 5 Is that basically that's the end of the World Series team?

Speaker 1 We have a couple left. Is Hendrix still on the team? Hendrix is on the team.

Speaker 5 That's always sad when it's like

Speaker 5 the whole team is gone.

Speaker 1 Ian Hap, I believe, was, I don't know if he played, he was in the organization. Yeah, no, it's sad.
But Hendrix, I love Hendrix. The professor.
The professor.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Hap made his debut the year after. So, yeah, it's sad.
But yeah, Greg Council. And the Cubs are going to spend money.
Big time. Going to be exciting.

Speaker 3 So I want to touch on something we mentioned on Monday's show because we were a week early on Wisconsin deer season in terms of hunting.

Speaker 3 Found out an interesting fact today. Did you know that Wisconsin has so many hunters and so many guns that the state of Wisconsin is the eighth largest army in the world, technically?

Speaker 1 Ooh.

Speaker 1 I respect that. I respect that.
I respect that a lot. Also, the deers, like

Speaker 1 people who are anti-hunter, if you drive in rural Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota, and you said, like, hey, no one can kill a deer, the deers would kill all of us on the highway. Yeah.

Speaker 1 There's so many fucking deer. Yeah.

Speaker 3 And I love it when cars just drive down the road with deers just strapped to the hook.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 It's good food. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Next weekend.

Speaker 3 Or this weekend. This weekend, yeah.
No, next weekend. Wait, I got to pull it up right here.
It is. Next weekend.
Next weekend.

Speaker 1 Next weekend because I have friends who are doing it.

Speaker 3 Well, if you're disabled, you're allowed to hunt early. There you go.
And kids.

Speaker 1 And kids. Kids can hunt early.
And you only get, I think you only get one.

Speaker 3 Is that the rule? You just get one deer per se.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's like they, they, it might be more than one, but they definitely you can't just go out and just start like killing like 150 deer.

Speaker 3 What if they just made it? You can kill a deer any day of the year if you use your bare hands.

Speaker 1 I like that. I like that a lot.
Chuck it out. I like that a lot.

Speaker 3 Uh, my hot seat was Tomizzo. Yeah.
Tomizzo's on the hot seat, as we discussed earlier. My cool throne is orcas.
And orcas are also back.

Speaker 3 There's a new pot of orcas that are attacking off the, I guess it's the Strait of Gibraltar, so in between Spain and Morocco.

Speaker 3 A new pod of orcas spent like eight hours going after this yacht and sunk the yacht themselves. Just straight up attacked it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Printer whale guy?

Speaker 5 No, not orcas don't. I don't like orcas.

Speaker 3 Well, yeah, we know your stance on Jim Ursay.

Speaker 5 Orcas are a killer. It's not their fault.

Speaker 1 Tillicum fucked up the whole, you know, the whole squad, but

Speaker 1 orcas are bad.

Speaker 3 What about Tokate? Wow. You were heartbroken when Tokite died.

Speaker 5 Was Tokate the Urse one?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Well, yeah, I'm sad that a human got involved and basically stressed a whale to death.

Speaker 1 But it was an orcas, so he really gives a fuck. Yeah, you actually, Tokate dying might have saved some lives because he would have gone out into the water and just started killing people.

Speaker 3 That's true. Yeah.
But respect to these orcas that are that are over in Europe just taking out yachts. I think it was a Polish cruise

Speaker 3 that it took out. So yeah, they just repeatedly hit the yacht's rudder, causing major damage.
Any deaths? No, they got all the people off

Speaker 3 right before it sank.

Speaker 3 But it's pretty good.

Speaker 3 Listen, I don't want to fuck with Orcas. I want the Orcas to know, because they probably do listen to podcasts,

Speaker 3 that I am on their side and I am a friend of the whale.

Speaker 1 This feels like a Polish joke. The Polish Navy got taken down by an orcas.

Speaker 3 The screen door submarines. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Cool.

Speaker 1 You think. What?

Speaker 5 I've had a, you know, I am obsessed with whales. I think about them often.

Speaker 5 What about like a show?

Speaker 5 Like, like if you could translate, you know, because whales speak to each other

Speaker 5 and like a reality show.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 3 Oh, like Real Housewives of the Mediterranean

Speaker 5 of the Strait of Gibraltar.

Speaker 3 Yeah. It's kind of like that

Speaker 3 prairie dog show or whatever the one in Africa is.

Speaker 5 Yeah, like imagine, you know, seeing them like plan that and then take it down.

Speaker 3 It'd be sick. Yeah.
It would be sick.

Speaker 5 Let's do it. Something to think about.
Don't steal my idea.

Speaker 3 How would you translate what they say? Would you just completely make it up?

Speaker 1 I'm just going to say right now, I want it on record. I'm not going to steal his idea of making a real house-wise of Orcas.

Speaker 5 Off the Strait of Gibraltar.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 I'm not going to give you the Strait of Gibraltar. I might make another reality show off the Strait of Gibraltar.

Speaker 1 People can.

Speaker 5 That's the technology. I don't know if there is a whale translator out there.
There's not. Someone that speaks Florida.

Speaker 1 Connor Stallions probably could. Yeah, give them enough time.

Speaker 3 But

Speaker 1 you could probably put it together with some tales. Stop myself from making a joke.

Speaker 1 Connor Stallions did steal signs for Brett Biela.

Speaker 1 Yep. Yep.

Speaker 3 What does he have in common with Whale?

Speaker 1 When we were in Wisconsin, when we were in Madison for Ohio State, they have like a tunnel with all the former coaches. Brett looked good back in the day.
Yeah. He looked good.

Speaker 1 He's actually, I think he's lost a little weight.

Speaker 3 He's still a powerful man. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Hank, I do like your idea, though. But we just need to, you could just do it and fake it and just pretend that you know what they're saying.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Let's go think that's about

Speaker 1 I fucking hate the Polish. All right, you're that was your cool throne.

Speaker 3 That's my cool throne because, again, Tom Izzo is on the hot seat. Yes.
And also, cool throwing letter writing. Jamie also wrote a strongly worded letter to the

Speaker 1 notes app.

Speaker 3 This is like the fifth strongly worded letter that I've seen float around out there. This is going to be the one that gets it done, though, because it's more strongly worded than the ones in the past.

Speaker 3 So, yeah, they're just on a letter writing hot streak down there, the Ted Kaczynski's of Central Virginia. Yes.

Speaker 1 Okay, my hot seat is me for two things. One, I'd like to make a correction on Monday.
I said Jedrick Wills is a star offensive lineman.

Speaker 1 That is my fault because he was drafted in the top 10, and that's hard to get out of my head.

Speaker 1 So my bad.

Speaker 3 You're still a star.

Speaker 1 You're still a star.

Speaker 1 And also, his name's cool. I was just like, yeah.
He's a lottery pick. Guess what? Depth issues now.
Yep. So he could have been a star depth-wise.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 1 my other hot seat for myself is my parenting.

Speaker 1 Quick story time. On Monday mornings, I take my son to school every day.
And on Monday mornings, we have a conversation of whether or not the Bears won or lost.

Speaker 1 And so I was getting sick of telling him every Monday we get in the car. He's like, did the Bears win or lose?

Speaker 1 And I got sick of telling him that they lost. So on Monday morning, I explained to him that they lost, but they actually kind of won because they're trying to lose.

Speaker 1 And because he gets really excited because his teacher is a Bears fan, so he goes and tells his teacher like when they the two times they've won, he's been able to go tell them like the Bears team won.

Speaker 1 Flash forward Monday night, I'm putting him to bed, and I was like, what'd you learn at school today? And he was like, the Bears team lost, but

Speaker 1 that's actually good. Yeah.
So I am now raising a loser.

Speaker 3 It's good parenting.

Speaker 1 The fact that he was able to conceptualize tanking that quickly is not good for the future of our relationship and his sports fandom. But he got it.
He got it right away.

Speaker 1 It was, you know, 12 hours later, and he was like, the Bears lost, but it's good.

Speaker 3 He's going to watch Trent Dilfer explain how you cannot lose and still win and be very confused. He'd be like, that guy's full of shit.
I realized it last night.

Speaker 1 I was like, God damn it. I'm raising a loser.
Yeah. Like, we've accepted losing in this household.
He gets we're okay with losing.

Speaker 3 He's going to learn about the Revolutionary War and be like, well, at least England got a good draft pick.

Speaker 1 Yeah, fuck.

Speaker 1 What was the tank guy? What was your process guy?

Speaker 1 What was his name? Memes didn't want to click the fucking button there.

Speaker 1 Oh, he doesn't know it either. No, he knows.
He's just

Speaker 1 Sam Hankey. I was thinking Sam Presty, but that's Oklahoma City.
So, yeah, I'm raising a little Sam Hankey in my house. So, hot seat me.
I got to reevaluate that. But the Cubs are back.
Sams are back.

Speaker 3 Sam Hankey drafted an MVP.

Speaker 1 Also, true. True.
Maybe. And a.
Did he draft

Speaker 1 a player of the week? That might have been after.

Speaker 1 Tyrese Maxie was probably drafted after.

Speaker 1 He got the picks to get.

Speaker 1 He's just fucking with me now.

Speaker 1 But also, Jason Tatum on Conference Player of the Week last week. Oh, so no longer.

Speaker 3 Max, congrats on the third quarter of the week by Joelle and B last night. Yeah.
That was an insane quarter. That was maybe the quarter of the month.

Speaker 1 Sixers are.

Speaker 10 I'm back in on the Sixers. Nick Nurse is a guy.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. He is a guy.
This will end well. Wow.
Sixers are good. Clip that memes.
That will be a nice start to the montage when the Sixers lose to the Celtics in the playoffs.

Speaker 3 playoffs. I do agree, though, that Max, we should give you some credit here because you do have the same guys as last year, essentially, but you upgraded majorly at the head coach.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Like huge, huge upgrade. And in the locker room.

Speaker 1 You lost Harden, brought in Pat Bev. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's a locker room upgrade for sure.

Speaker 1 By the way, speaking of losing

Speaker 1 all-time insult stat,

Speaker 1 everyone should be following Jay Kuda online, J-A-Y-C-U-D-A. He's very, very funny.
He does great graphics.

Speaker 1 He did a graphic, the cities with four plus sports teams, and it's their combined overall against 500 since the start of 2022.

Speaker 1 And there are only two cities that are all red, which means under 500 collectively, and it is Chicago and Washington, D.C. Yeah, good for us.
Good for us. You can't laugh at that.

Speaker 1 You can't laugh at that. That's our joke.
Don't laugh at that.

Speaker 1 My teams are above 500. Yeah, Flyers.
We know the Flyers. That's why you're not allowed to laugh at them, Max.

Speaker 1 The only city with all four teams above 500?

Speaker 1 Colorado. Nope.

Speaker 1 Texas. Minnesota.

Speaker 1 Wow. Minnesota.
That's a huge old Vikings wild. All above 500.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You okay? Yeah.

Speaker 5 What was that? I thought Colorado was a good guess.

Speaker 1 Colorado.

Speaker 1 You forget about the Broncos? The Rockies, and you forgot about the Rockies. You forgot about half of them.
Very bad. That was a guess.
The Rockies was a hope. Half of them.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 My cool throne is coffee drinkers because we got new Stella Blue flavors out now.

Speaker 1 We had some fall flavors. Now we have some Christmas holiday flavors.
We have gingerbread and we have butter cookie, both very, very good. I tested all of them, fine-tuned it.

Speaker 1 Go buy it stellabluecoffee.com. They are delicious.

Speaker 1 There's nothing better than a nice warm cup of like butter cookies sitting by the fire, sitting by the tree, sitting by wherever, maybe outdoors, crackling fire, some gingerbread.

Speaker 1 So go buy it right now. They are very, very good.

Speaker 1 And some new mugs in the store as well. Jake, finish us off.

Speaker 6 My hot seat is Jimmy Clausen, former quarterback.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Cam Newton came out with a story saying that he initially wanted to wear number two. That was his college number.
So he asked Jimmy Clausen for it.

Speaker 6 Jimmy Clausen said, all right, that'll cost you $1 million. He thought he was kidding.
Claussen said, all right, I'll do it for a lower tag of $750,000.

Speaker 6 Cam Newton hangs up the phone, calls the equipment manager, says he's going to wear number one, and he told himself that'll be the last time Jimmy Clausen will ever be heard of in Carolina.

Speaker 1 And he was correct.

Speaker 3 I respect that move by Jimmy Clausen because he knew that he was bad and he was going to lose his job. And Jimmy Clausen, I don't know what his career earnings are.
I'm looking them up right now.

Speaker 3 He's made $5 million.

Speaker 1 Could have made

Speaker 1 $50,000.

Speaker 3 So that would have been,

Speaker 3 he needed that extra million dollars.

Speaker 1 That's just an insane ask. Like, I think that if you say 50K, Cam Newton probably pays it.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Oh, for sure.

Speaker 1 Fresher discount of $750K.

Speaker 3 Because what was Cam Newton's signing bonus?

Speaker 1 It's big, but yeah, insane. Jimmy Clausen definitely didn't play that correctly.

Speaker 6 Insane. My Cool Throne, Plug God, the Barstool Sports Invitational.

Speaker 6 It is game day if you're listening on Wednesday. Huge double header on Barstill.tv.
Returning final four team FAU, hometown team Loyal Chicago in a power conference matchup.

Speaker 6 Two tournament teams from last year.

Speaker 8 Arizona State, Mississippi State.

Speaker 6 Big Cat and I will be in the booth with Dave Portnoy.

Speaker 1 We have tons of great coverage coming your way. Sister Gene.
Sister Gene. Sister Gene will be in attendance.
Yes. I might be in Sister Gene's box.
Yeah, you should. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I'm going to try to get in her box.

Speaker 1 You should watch the game with Sister Gene. Yeah.
I would love to get you a mic and get a one-on-one.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 if you're in Chicago, win trust. There's still tickets available.
It's going to be a great time.

Speaker 1 Everyone's going to be out there. If you are not in Chicago, barstool.tv.
You can watch all the action. Nothing better than a little college basketball on a Wednesday night.

Speaker 6 Also, not my words, from Ken Palm, the two best games of college basketball are at the Barstool Sports Invitational today.

Speaker 1 Wow. Talk yeah.
He ranks the thrill score, like the yeah, how exciting each game is.

Speaker 6 Number one and number two are our games.

Speaker 3 For some reason, I'm just like really, really into this college basketball year.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I wonder why.

Speaker 3 So far, one day in, I've never been this excited.

Speaker 1 We had the Loyola guys here on Monday and the big guy, the two guards, Tom Welch. And a big guy, Tom Welch.
I'm going to need your notes, by the way, Jay.

Speaker 1 In the next couple of days or actually now. Finishing that mail.

Speaker 1 The guards were like, hey, you want to dunk? And he's like, I don't think I can. I was like, oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you that our rims are like 11 feet tall.
Yeah, thanks a lot, Hank.

Speaker 5 Yeah, they're a solid 10-4, pretty close. I think it's 10-6.

Speaker 1 Pete said he checked yesterday they're 10-1.

Speaker 3 Do you trust Pete?

Speaker 1 I'm just saying. Think about that.

Speaker 3 He didn't have Wi-Fi working in an office that runs the internet for about six years.

Speaker 1 He was big fired up yesterday.

Speaker 3 He also, what he brought out was this little, I don't even know what it was.

Speaker 10 It was like a laser that like, he was like, that's the top of the rim. You're seeing it.
It says 10-1.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's not. I don't trust him.

Speaker 3 He's a liar. Got to measure from the base, all the way down at the base.
Yeah.

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Speaker 1 Let's get to our interview. Great interview with very, very funny comedian Nate Bargetts.

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Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. You see him everywhere now.
It is comedian Nate Bargatzzi.

Speaker 1 I screw up your name because I saw you did Fallon, maybe, and you went a whole thing where everyone says Bargatzi, and then it's Bargettze.

Speaker 10 Bargettze. Barge.

Speaker 1 Sorry about that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was one of those things that I literally woke up.

Speaker 1 I woke up and I was like, don't say the wrong, don't say it wrong, don't say it wrong. And then when you sit down and you keep telling yourself that, you're like, I'm going to fucking say it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 10 You know, I am. Everybody,

Speaker 10 I mean, I really don't care. Like, I, you know, you just, I got, you just get, I've been, it's been said so many different ways.
You just kind of go, all right.

Speaker 1 Well, it's an A, too, that screws everyone up.

Speaker 10 You know, yeah, there's some stuff in there that messes people up.

Speaker 1 Italian? Baison? Yeah, it's Italian. Yeah, you got a couple, there's like a couple speed bumps in there.
They're like, ooh, how am I saying this? Okay. Tough.
But yeah, you've been everywhere.

Speaker 1 It's incredible watching the last even three weeks. You did SNL a couple weeks ago.
You did

Speaker 1 College Game Day. Now you're doing PMT.
Some say that's the big three.

Speaker 10 I mean,

Speaker 10 y'all are enormous. So it is, it's, it's, yeah, it is.

Speaker 10 I know coming on here, I was like, this is, it's going to get where people are like, all right, dude.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's been. Are people sick of you?

Speaker 10 I mean, probably.

Speaker 10 I'm not trying to make it that way.

Speaker 4 No, I don't.

Speaker 10 But it all just kind of snowballed into, you know, these were all things, yeah, besides you guys, it was, you know, it was SNL and game day all kind of happened very kind of quickly, last minute.

Speaker 10 Yeah. So it just kind of went with it.

Speaker 3 It must be very cool because we're about the same age, and I grew up watching SNL, and it's, you know, iconic, obviously.

Speaker 3 You saw all the great casts back, like, I think the 80s and the 90s to like mid-90s of SNL. That was like the peak of the show, in my opinion.
Oh, yeah. Just like iconic stuff.

Speaker 3 And then you get to host. So what was the process like during the week? Were you involved with the writing?

Speaker 3 How detailed did they let you get behind the scenes? Or were they like, hey, here's the idea we have for a script. Here's your role.

Speaker 10 Yeah, you show up Monday.

Speaker 10 Show up Monday and then like five o'clock you go in and then it's and that's where you meet Lauren, you meet all the writers and all the cast and everybody kind of just pitches just a real like two you know they they would they would be like uh Washington

Speaker 10 doing the milliliters and our measurements and you know, just something kind of quickly and then you go okay you're just kind of hearing stuff and then the next day they c uh it's a little bit tighter you go sit with the writers you're kind of there you're more you're like noon to ten or n eight or seven or nine something like that uh

Speaker 10 on Tuesday and then you meet with each writer and then they kind of go like all right we're going down this path with this script and but they really make it around the host yeah

Speaker 1 so that was

Speaker 10 the host you have a lot more say than you think as a host. And that was something that some people told me.

Speaker 10 I mean, as much say as I still, you know, you're like, I'm pretty lucky that they're having me on. Yeah.
So

Speaker 10 I'm not trying to, you know, be like, well, you're going to do this. Yeah.

Speaker 10 But you do have a lot of say to go, you know,

Speaker 10 I don't want to do political. I don't want to, I'm not I'm clean, so it's like, I don't want to do dirty stuff.
And so it was, and I said that,

Speaker 10 they're just doing, pitching pretty, you know, the kind of dumb, silly sketches that they, we ended up having. Yeah.

Speaker 10 So they, everybody kind of pitches a little bit more because they got to sit up and write all night. So Tuesday night, I mean, all those, they just, you go home and then they stay up.

Speaker 10 I mean, they might be there till six in the morning. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I, I, so I had a question about the clean stuff because I saw your show on Friday night.
Absolutely incredible.

Speaker 1 If you're, if you're thinking about going to a comedy show and Nate is in your city, you have to go. It is that good.

Speaker 1 And I brought my wife and a couple of friends and they had never seen you before.

Speaker 1 And the best way I described it, I was like, he does comedy on expert mode because he doesn't swear and it's not like Duranchi stuff, but it's funnier than everyone else who does that.

Speaker 1 But it really does feel that way because...

Speaker 1 us being idiots, when we run out of words, we just say, fuck. It's a nice thing.
You know, it's like, oh, I'll just make a dick joke.

Speaker 1 So was there ever a point in your career where you were like, people tried to push you one way?

Speaker 1 You're like, like no i'm staying i'm i'm gonna be me and i'm gonna do it my way because you don't see it very often and again you were funnier than pretty much everyone else out there uh

Speaker 10 well thank you and it uh i it was just you know i'm not from the south right you know and you know my dad's here like you met my dad like i just never wanted them to be embarrassed to come to the show or something.

Speaker 10 And

Speaker 10 you didn't curse. You went to church.

Speaker 10 It was just the environment I was born in.

Speaker 10 And I mean, when I remember when I moved to New York and people cursed more, and then I'd go like around my friend's parents, you're like, yeah, well, there's families in New York or Chicago or somewhere where you're like, people just curse, and it's not, it doesn't stand out.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 10 Where it would have really stood out in my upbringing. Right.
And so I just kind of just kind of kept that. But when I first started, you would have to do late.

Speaker 10 I mean, I would go on at midnight, one in the morning, these shows.

Speaker 10 You know, some of them would be uncensored show and they're labeled all this stuff. And I would just do my act.
Yeah.

Speaker 10 And I would just do it and just, you just kind of, I think you just do it and just hope no one noticed. Right.
That was the main thing. You just

Speaker 3 don't know if there's anybody that's in the crowd that's like, I really wish you'd say fuck, man.

Speaker 3 You're so funny, but if you had like talked about like taking a shit, that would have been awesome.

Speaker 10 People stand up. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's too clean. I'm not almost a guy will leave.

Speaker 1 That's the testament to how funny you are is that you don't even notice it. Because you're just finding funny angles on everything.

Speaker 1 And you're like, man, I wish I could be smarter like Nate and find a way to speak without swearing every other word.

Speaker 10 It's,

Speaker 10 you know, it's,

Speaker 10 some comics, what I say, dude, I was like, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta fix it off screen if you have someone ever, because no matter what, even if you're doing, if you're a comedian, you're on stage presenting an act,

Speaker 10 it's probably better not to do.

Speaker 10 overly do it right it's you know you can do it and then but don't overly do it but you gotta just like not do it in real life right did that open any doors for you uh i mean mean it is now completely and it i i thought it would quicker earlier and it didn't it took uh you know i kind of just it's been a slow kind of like going it's always moved forward i could do late night sets i did a lot more late night sets than most people i could very i could be asked to do a late night set last minute because it's they just knew i didn't have anything yeah uh

Speaker 10 I don't ever have to worry about, I mean, when I did Comedy Central Special where you couldn't say stuff,

Speaker 10 I mean, I would only, the only thing that would be that you can't say Walmart, you can't say McDonald's, or

Speaker 10 something like that. That would be the only thing I couldn't say.

Speaker 1 I like the idea of your big controversy being that someone caught you saying like the F-word, being like, oh my God.

Speaker 3 That would be a huge,

Speaker 1 like a sex thing.

Speaker 10 The disappointment.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. Everything is a lie.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 10 There you go. This guy.

Speaker 3 Did you ever have a moment of weakness? You're like, you know what, tonight?

Speaker 1 I'm going to go blue.

Speaker 10 I never had the jokes. yeah so I just never I you know

Speaker 10 any sex stuff I never had and

Speaker 10 it just I just never I since I started that way my brain just never really went that way right and everybody I'm friends with I mean my closest friends are Big Jay Okerson and Lewis you know Gomez Jay Gomez and a lot of people from this this this comedy where the skank world and like most of my friends are some of the dirtiest comics you could ever see and they're but they're all very funny.

Speaker 10 So it was just, I was blended in. Like, when I first got at the comedy seller, it was a comedy club in New York.

Speaker 10 Since I was close with Big J, I first got into that club. They would always put me on real late at night.
And I was like, I can tell that

Speaker 10 they have not watched my set. They just assume I'm with Jay.
They assume I'm dirty. And so then they would throw me up at 2 in the morning.
And,

Speaker 10 you know, it's like I would be better at 8 p.m.

Speaker 1 than 2.

Speaker 10 But it helped me because then you got got to make your

Speaker 1 act work at 2 in the morning. You got to somehow

Speaker 10 make it seem like it's, I don't know, it's got, I don't, you know, I don't want to say bite to it, but whatever.

Speaker 10 They just can't be too noticeably clear. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 You talked about your dad, and he is here. He just came in the studio a second ago.
I saw a clip where he started a fire in your house while you were gone.

Speaker 10 Not in my house, in their house. They're now

Speaker 10 in our house.

Speaker 10 How did that that go he uh cooking a brat worst i was trying to tell the story i don't know if i'm gonna say this story i was saying about him setting on fire but i think i got another thing but he cooked a brat worst with the idea like it's a very uh

Speaker 1 old man thing to cook yep it feels like i don't i mean yeah a bratwurst you you when you cook a brat when you actively are saying i'm going to make a brat you're like i'm just going to poison myself for dinner that's fine yeah like i don't really have anything to live for right now yeah people can you can like brat well you can like them you eat them at places but to cook one alone

Speaker 1 to actively go out and get one. Yeah, like

Speaker 1 if you're handed one at like a tailgate, that's normal. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 I would even say just like the act of grilling one bratwurst is a very sad thing.

Speaker 1 It feels like a death row meal. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 10 And then, so he left it,

Speaker 10 he left the stove on, and then it just started smoking and kind of caught fire. And now they're having to get a new stove.
And then, so, I mean, everybody was fine. And,

Speaker 10 but now, yeah, now they're staying with us.

Speaker 1 That's, yeah, he's, I mean, your dad is very funny. It's, he's, he's, I think you told me on Friday night that he's been, he's done 90 of your shows.

Speaker 10 Yeah, 90 of them.

Speaker 1 Which is so cool. Like the fact that your dad,

Speaker 1 you know, who was a magician when you were growing up, which I'm sure that would probably give a lot of your material, like how you became a funny person.

Speaker 1 I'm always interested in how comedians become comedians. Having a dad as a magician, I would imagine had a lot of help in like growing you as a person and material.

Speaker 10 I don't know if I realized it at the moment, but it was yeah, it does it where it's

Speaker 10 he's because he's always done comedy with his magic, so it's always been funny. And so it's like that stuff has just played into it completely.
And it did more than I realized.

Speaker 10 Like, as I got older in comedy, it's like I could tell, you know, I think my timing is a lot of based off him and all this, all the kind of little stuff you can see that I picked up just throughout the years.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Was it cool having a dad who's a magician like as a kid?

Speaker 3 Or was there a place where it was cool, then it became not cool, then it became cool again to have him yeah probably like that i mean it was i was just always around it so it never really

Speaker 10 you know i look at it like my daughter my daughter does not know a world that i'm not a comedian right and so i did i don't know a world where my dad's not a magician are you i mean your kids yeah no my three kids i'm worried for the day when they're like wait what did you say online for the last 15 years yeah yeah well they're just gonna it's I think it's normal.

Speaker 10 Howard Stern's kids were, you know, he's Howard Stern. Like, I think they just know it and they can separate it.
You You know, they're not as,

Speaker 10 you don't, you're not always maybe as impressed as at the beginning, you know, versus now. It's like, and it's fun to be able to take him out now because we've always known how great he is.

Speaker 10 And so now a lot of people are getting to see how fun of a show it is.

Speaker 10 And I have a lot of people that are like, they, I mean, just when my dad comes out, it's just, they love it so much that they're not expecting.

Speaker 10 Because I think, you know, they're like, all right, we got to watch this guy's dad. You don't expect it to be,

Speaker 10 you know, you'll just figure like, all right, like, I'm watching, I'm doing this guy a favor watching his dad.

Speaker 10 But then when it's, when people are losing it and they're laughing, they're like, oh, man, it was so fun.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's very cool.
So I had a question about your process as a comedian.

Speaker 1 I understand, you know, you'll work on material, go up, but when you come up with an idea, like, for example, you did this in your SNL monologue, you also have it in your set, and I'm not going to burn your set, but just the idea of calling yourself from the 1900s.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like,

Speaker 1 did that just pop in your head? Because it's something that, you know, we're both born in the 80s or from the 1900s. But when you say it, it's like, God damn it, that is so funny.

Speaker 1 And I never even thought of that, just framing it that way. Yeah.

Speaker 10 So this hour,

Speaker 10 for some reason, I started thinking of like old timey.

Speaker 10 When I started thinking of this hour, and I kind of, this is the first time I kind of thought of it like that. But it was like, I was kind of thinking of old timey and

Speaker 10 and just like you know the how it's gonna how we're in such a futuristic world versus what we grew up with and i had that donkey which i told on s and l the donkey story at the fair and so i had like this old thing so it's like trying to be like we're a mix of people that have seen this kind of world that's from the 50s right to now you know you got your watch sends you a message and you can call on your watch.

Speaker 10 And so it's like, there's still a lot of us that have to balance both these worlds where we're not going to learn stuff. And so I was saying it and just

Speaker 10 probably a month before SNL, I kind of stumbled on to say, I'm from the 1900s. Because it was when you start the set, I didn't know.
I was like, well,

Speaker 10 what's the shortest, quickest way to put you in the mindset of what I'm trying to say? Right. And so you just kind of stumble on it.
And then you're like, I'm from the 1900s.

Speaker 10 And you go, okay, that sets it up.

Speaker 10 A lot of it is, you know, you can have a lot of funny jokes, but if I don't give any kind of context or put you in that, it's like, what's the quickest way I can set you into that mindset?

Speaker 1 Yeah, get everyone ready and where they're going to be. But yeah, it's, yeah.
I mean, it was very relatable. Like I said, we're both 38 years old.

Speaker 1 So a lot of the stuff that you talk about, it's like, yeah, this is crazy. I'm kind of giving up with new technology.
Like, I've tried five times to be a TikToker and it's failed every time.

Speaker 1 I just can't do it.

Speaker 3 And with AI, everybody, like even the people that are making AI are giving testimony in front of Congress, being like, be very careful. Like, we might screw this up badly.

Speaker 3 And it seems like everything they're coming up with, we all agree, like, hey, please don't do this. But they're like, just so you know, it's coming.
It's going to suck, but it's coming.

Speaker 3 It's like, please stop.

Speaker 10 Yeah, it's funny to, yeah, because they say, like, it is, they're like, well, it's coming. You're like, yeah, are y'all not in charge of like the reason it's coming?

Speaker 3 Because their whole mindset was like, yeah, if I don't do it, somebody else is going to do it. Well, no, you, you just stop doing it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, let's just take a break.

Speaker 1 Take a quick break. Let's reassess.
Maybe this isn't the best thing ever.

Speaker 10 Well, I was like, because

Speaker 10 a thing I was trying to add to it, and I'm still messing with, but

Speaker 10 there's people, someone, you know, there's people being born now that are going to live in the 3000s.

Speaker 1 Right. You're like, well, what is that? Right.

Speaker 10 That's crazy.

Speaker 1 Wait, wait, no, they aren't. They're going to live in the 2000s.
2023?

Speaker 10 If they were 100, it'd be.

Speaker 1 2,100. They're living.

Speaker 1 Dude, you know what's so funny?

Speaker 1 I'm so dumb.

Speaker 1 Well, we're dumb. That actually would be a great TikTok.
Yeah, yeah. I said that on stage.

Speaker 10 I've been saying that the past two nights.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 10 in my head, I was like, this ain't getting what I thought it should be getting.

Speaker 10 And then.

Speaker 1 You know what it is, though? Because we're of a certain age where we saw the change from 19, you know, the 2000. So we're like, holy fuck, we feel like we're in a...
Yeah, no, that's

Speaker 1 20. Like, my kids will live to like 2,100.

Speaker 10 Yeah, that makes, that's not as fun as 3,000.

Speaker 1 I think you should keep doing the 3,000.

Speaker 1 Because you chicked me for a second. I was like, damn, you're right.

Speaker 3 Modern medicine, you never know.

Speaker 10 You never know. That's right.
You were very nice. You helped me.
You go, I mean, just keep bouncing around, dude.

Speaker 1 I like that you did this, though, because

Speaker 1 a lot of your set is, you know. Self-deprecation about not being the smartest person.
And that was very authentic. Like, you're not, you're not putting on.

Speaker 10 I'm not, you know. Neither are we.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Because

Speaker 1 you had me for a second. Yeah.
I was like, yeah, 3,000. That's crazy.
That is crazy. And that would be crazy.

Speaker 10 I said that on stage, and it's in my head.

Speaker 10 It works just like it was here. Yes.
And it's front of 4,000 people. I'm like, right, everybody? And I'm like, man, this thing, I ain't getting what I think I should be getting out of this.

Speaker 1 I thought that last night. They're going to become like avatars.

Speaker 3 They're going to exist online like The Matrix. Yeah.
And then they might live in 3,000.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they might. We don't know that.
We don't know.

Speaker 3 You said it with confidence.

Speaker 1 I was like, yeah, wait.

Speaker 1 But wait, no, I'm dumb.

Speaker 3 So then you start to doubt yourself.

Speaker 3 When it comes to your writing process,

Speaker 3 are you like hypercritical? Do you micromanage yourself? Do you go back and watch specials and

Speaker 3 watch anything that you tape and say, okay, that joke didn't get as big a pop as this one. Need to retool that one?

Speaker 3 Or is it mostly about what you remember in the flow of your shows in terms of like, okay, I'm going to keep this part and maybe add something new?

Speaker 10 It's the flow. I mean, you kind of figured out, like, starting in, I started in Chicago.
I lived here for two years. and then New York was where I really it was eight and a half years there

Speaker 10 we would all kind of write on stage and you kind of do it and you just kind of go it's a filling the audience and so I do it like that I don't really watch the old sets or

Speaker 10 I should watch more I never really did that but it was but you just kind of go in the moment you just feel it and you go like all right like this is not you know I didn't really feel like that got what I thought it should have got so I either need to present it I mean this morning we were riding over and I was talking about

Speaker 10 because

Speaker 10 a lot of new stuff I have in the front

Speaker 10 of my hour now. And so I was trying to be like, well, I got to reword this.
I was like, I think I got to get into this quicker.

Speaker 10 Sometimes you can think you need something, this long thing, and then it's to set up something. And you're like, I just need to get into it.
Yeah.

Speaker 10 Instead of the setup is too long and too, it doesn't really matter. And you can feel it.
And I can feel it when, because when the jokes are tight and they're ready to go,

Speaker 10 you just start hitting at it. It just starts the crowd just a lot better.
Like, I have a joke about community college, and like that's that one I've been doing.

Speaker 10 And so, you know, I do 10 minutes up top that's still messing around. And then it's like I get into this community college that I know no one knows, and it just starts hitting.
Right.

Speaker 10 Because that's the thing, SNL is every lot of, I mean, people, especially at this crowd, have seen that SNL monologue. And that's all my new hour.
Yeah.

Speaker 10 And so when I do those jokes especially this weekend it's felt like everybody's like yeah yeah we know this joke we've heard it because they've just watched it were you worried about that burning it I was but SNL I understood the opportunity I was getting that it's like you can't I don't have I you know I don't have the clout to go like I'll just mess around.

Speaker 10 Like I knew when I, you know,

Speaker 10 an audience of SNL versus the people, even though, you know, we're selling, I'm doing arena, you're doing all these big things, but there's a mainstreamness to SNL that it's, that there was a lot of people that are going to see that that don't know who I am.

Speaker 10 So you're, you know, it was like a, you got to go back to prove, like, all right, I got to really prove that I, to these people that, you know, I'm worth their 10 minutes to watch this monologue or whatever it is.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, I also think it was a great appetizer, and I am a believer, too, like a funny comedy special I'll re-watch. I don't care.
Like, it's funny as funny.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I mean, you don't really,

Speaker 10 I'm going to have to just keep doing it. It'll be interesting to see in two months what the crowd feels like.
If they've kind of like, I can be back doing these jokes.

Speaker 10 I mean, I'll change up a little bit. I'll, there'll be inklings of it.
I bet some stuff gets a little dropped or here and there.

Speaker 10 But overall, it's like you're kind of like, yeah, this is part of my hour. You're like showing a glimpse of your hour and then being like, all right, here's this hour.

Speaker 10 And then, you know, it goes back into my act. But this, it was very interesting this weekend.

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Speaker 1 So everyone should listen to, Nate has a podcast called the Nateland podcast.

Speaker 1 I was listening to it and I got a bone to pick with you because you were talking about some of the stuff that didn't make it to SNL and you were talking about a skit based around people who don't put cases on their phones.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And I really needed to see that because I've been for 10 years now a no case guy and I've stood on the table for it.

Speaker 1 And like I now I have money so people are like, oh, you'll just go get a new one.

Speaker 1 But I wrote a blog like literally 11 years ago when I had no money being like the biggest thrill in life is having no no case. And when you drop it, being like, well, that's probably going to be bad.

Speaker 1 It's the best. It's the best feeling in the world.

Speaker 1 It's one of life's greatest small thrills that you can have where every time I'm holding my phone, it's life or death. Yeah.

Speaker 10 So I'm just now, this is the first time I've ever done no case.

Speaker 1 Yeah, go no case. I am.

Speaker 10 It's the first time I've done it.

Speaker 1 Doesn't it feel good? Yeah.

Speaker 10 And it's...

Speaker 10 Well, it just looks very nice.

Speaker 1 It's smaller.

Speaker 1 It was meant to be held like Steve Jobs made it. Isn't that what Apple Care is for? Right.
I have Apple Care. Right, I do too.

Speaker 10 So I think that's, yeah, I thought that's what it was for.

Speaker 1 Sometimes, though, they really get you because I've broken my phone before and I'm like, but I have Apple Care. And they're like, yeah, but you did such a number on it.
You really broke my phone.

Speaker 1 You don't have to care. Because I'll just drop it like getting out of my car onto cement and it will just be such a shatter job.

Speaker 1 But it's, again, it's thrilling. Like, I've saved it kicking it before.
Yeah. Like kicking it to myself.
Like, those are moments that I'll just

Speaker 10 cherish forever. I, yeah, the idea of that, I thought of that because you can tell them sketch ideas too.
They wrote that one out and it just wasn't because sometimes the sketch could be

Speaker 10 it's it's like that joke is funny, but I don't know if it can stand a whole

Speaker 1 sketch.

Speaker 10 But they did like it and they wrote and they wrote it out.

Speaker 10 But yeah, because I just thought of it because I was like, I don't have one.

Speaker 10 And then people really get upset. Yeah, they do.
And I think they root for you.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 10 Oh, absolutely. I mean, they want you to drop your phone.

Speaker 1 Yeah. They want to see it.
They want want to see you in pain.

Speaker 3 It does look elegant. The phone looks, it's sleek with no cracks.

Speaker 1 It's a beautiful phone. It is a beautiful phone.

Speaker 3 And I mean, if you see somebody that has a perfectly clean screen with no cracks, you're like, that person's not any fun. Yeah.

Speaker 3 You know, like, if I, if a girl has a cracked iPhone, you're like, that girl, she's trouble, but I kind of like it.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You see people have phones where you're like, what were you doing? Yeah. Like, what is your life?

Speaker 1 They're like cutting their finger while they're trying to use it, but they won't stop using it. They won't, yeah.

Speaker 1 They won't go.

Speaker 10 Yeah, you're like, can you not change it out? Just scrolling on Instagram.

Speaker 1 I respect those people.

Speaker 1 They live life on the edges.

Speaker 10 Yeah, yeah, they don't. They're like, you know,

Speaker 10 it's people that don't take their phone as serious, which is a good thing.

Speaker 1 Right, right, right, exactly.

Speaker 3 There's another clean comedian out there.

Speaker 1 You probably are aware of him.

Speaker 3 He's a little niche, but Dan Nanon. Do you know Dan?

Speaker 3 The clean comedian that lies about his age?

Speaker 1 Have you heard the story of this guy? I don't know.

Speaker 3 He is one of my favorite people online. He's been saying that he's like 28 years old for the last, I don't know, 15 years.
Yeah. And he's very clearly like 55.

Speaker 3 And he won't admit that he's not in his 20s anymore. He's got like a psychological block against him.
Yeah.

Speaker 10 What's his, how do you spell his last name?

Speaker 3 I think it's N-A-I-N-A-N.

Speaker 3 Naenen? Dan Naenen?

Speaker 10 Yeah, I think I know who that is.

Speaker 3 That guy is my favorite person, though.

Speaker 10 Because I honestly think that guy was with... I remember him when I started.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 And so.

Speaker 1 He was 28 then. He's 28.
Maybe he's 28 then.

Speaker 10 I think I remember him when I started.

Speaker 10 I don't want to say positively, but I feel pretty confident I remember him, and this is back in message board days and all this, but I remember him being there. And I mean, I've done it for 20 years.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 10 I do, I think I remember that name.

Speaker 1 20 years is crazy to be doing it. So he was eight.
Yeah. He was eight years old.
He started. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Dude, jokes about prodigy.

Speaker 1 He's before Pete Davidson. Yeah.

Speaker 10 I remember Pete coming, and Pete was 14 or 15 when we first started seeing Pete come around. Yeah.
So, but this guy was.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 8 When did you start doing comedy?

Speaker 3 When did you have enough material where you could actually get on stage and be able to relate to somebody with your jokes?

Speaker 10 Well, it was 2003. I moved here.
I took a comedy class here.

Speaker 10 Jim Roth, he does a comedy college. And it was, and I would say you need a class for, you know, but I just didn't, you don't know what to do.
It's like very intimidating to start comedy.

Speaker 10 You know, it's, you don't know, you just need to be, you want to be around people that are also like starting. And so you at least feel like you can make a friend and all this.
And

Speaker 10 so

Speaker 10 I started here and then you just start doing, you know, you can be, I mean, doing five minutes was like a long, it's like hard to do five minutes. Yeah.

Speaker 10 And then you just, then I went to New York and then you're, you're going up every night and you're doing five minutes, seven minutes, you know, and then you just slowly, just over time,

Speaker 10 get going. It wasn't until my first TV thing was like 2008, I think, seven, eight.

Speaker 1 Did you, wait, was it Second City that you started?

Speaker 10 I took a little class at Second City, but this one was just stand-up. Okay.
But I took about an eight-week course at Second City.

Speaker 10 The thing I didn't like about improv is with, I knew I wanted to be clean, and with improv, you got to go with the group. Right.
And I knew, you know, it's like, well, you're going to go down.

Speaker 10 I was just, I didn't like that I wasn't in control of where it was going.

Speaker 1 When they hand you an invisible dildo, you can't be like, oh, you're like, yeah, hello.

Speaker 1 Banana. I actually,

Speaker 1 I took an improv class. I signed up for an improv class at Second City after I'd started at Barstool because I was like, I'm going to, I'm going to try to get funnier.

Speaker 1 And I went to one class, I paid like 500 bucks, and it was all like. kids in their early 20s and I they had a bathroom break in an hour hour in and I just left and never came back.

Speaker 1 Because I was like, I can't do this. Yeah.
Like, this isn't for me. I'm just going to keep writing blogs and hope it works out.

Speaker 10 Well, it's like anything. Just do what you

Speaker 10 know how to do, and you will learn within that thing how to do all the other stuff. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Was there a moment in those 20 years where you thought it wasn't going to happen? Because it is, I mean, you've been, you've arrived a long time ago.

Speaker 1 Obviously, this last like month and a half has been pretty crazy, which I'm sure it's funny for people to say, like, wow, you're really blown up.

Speaker 1 It's like, well, I've had some pretty successful specials the last, you know, five years. I've been doing pretty good.
But was there a moment where you're like, this might not work?

Speaker 1 Like, I just can't break through.

Speaker 10 I don't know if I ever felt,

Speaker 10 I think I remember one time my wife being like, well, how long would you be doing this, you know, before, like, would you do it? But I was just like, I'll be doing it forever. Yeah.

Speaker 10 And then that was the only time we've ever talked about it.

Speaker 1 That's a great confo. Yeah.

Speaker 10 I mean, it's like, you got to go like, well, this is all I know. Yeah.
This is all. It's, that's what I tell people.
If you do anything, you have to be obsessed with it.

Speaker 10 And if you're not obsessed with it and willing to like basically just be like, no, I'll do that. There is no backup plan.

Speaker 10 You really are probably not going to make it because you just can't have a backup.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, that's very similar to like this world, not

Speaker 1 you're more successful than us, but having that moment where like I started blogging.

Speaker 10 I mean, y'all are enormous. But I

Speaker 1 started blogging and I was like, well, I'll just go back to like corporate America in a couple of years if it doesn't work out.

Speaker 1 And then getting a couple years in and being like, no, I think this is, this is my job.

Speaker 10 But that's what you do.

Speaker 10 You go, you know, i i know what i can go back to right i can't like you know i mean i i talk about now i was a water meter eater in uh in mount juliet and i so i knew i could go back to that it was a job the guy i started with he he's uh went back and he's working he still works there so i knew there was a job i was like i knew i had any job i knew i had a job i could go back to and so you have that But then once you end it, I don't know if you ever think, I mean, did you think, like, you don't ever think you're not going to make it?

Speaker 3 Right, right because we kind of did burn the boats too we've said so much dumb stuff right that we're virtually

Speaker 3 unemployable anywhere else in america except here right so yeah i could go to some point i could go back to being a dog adoption counselor in austin at some point that's probably the only job i'm still qualified to do right now but we've worked ourselves into a situation where like this is our world now yeah

Speaker 1 i had that moment where i was like i i don't think i could even have a resume anymore yeah what would my resume what would i would i put down like i vlogged for 10 years yeah yeah you'd have to, yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 10 I mean, yeah, I'm in the same thing where it's, I, I don't know.

Speaker 1 It's freeing, though, once you, once you take that step over the line, you're like, this is it.

Speaker 10 Well, creating is, you know, I mean, that's what

Speaker 10 you create. I create.
When you create,

Speaker 10 it's the best because you're in control of it. Yeah.
Where you have like this,

Speaker 10 you know, the strikes are all going on and stuff, all these things that kind of, you know, you feel bad for actors. Like, I always thought that with acting is like, you got to hope they want you.

Speaker 10 That's, it's not in your hands.

Speaker 10 And so when you're a stand-up or when you're, you're doing this, you create it. So you're in, you're in, it's up to you if you want to do it.

Speaker 10 And that's a very freeing feeling to have to just go like, I am not relying on someone else. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What's your favorite part of the process?

Speaker 3 Is it when you come up with something that you personally enjoy and you're like, you know what? This, that's a good joke. I'm very happy with it.

Speaker 10 Or was it, is it when somebody else, like you deliver it to an audience and they laugh at it and you're like okay that hit that landed that's great yeah new joke is is is is the best feeling in the world yeah when you have something new i had one little new thing that i added in uh this weekend on something and it and it just started hitting so hard and that's because you're i mean you haven't told it you're not tired of it you're not you know because you can get tired sometimes telling some of this stuff because you might i mean you're telling it hundreds and hundreds of times uh to to fix it to find it to whatever and so when you get something new, I mean, it's, man, it's just like, because you've got, you know, it's like you never know what you're going to, when you, as a creator, you don't, it's not like you have a plan.

Speaker 10 There's, you only can go out so far. And so you, when you come up with something new, it's like, well, now, all right, I've bought some time.

Speaker 10 You feel like you bought time to go like, well, now I got this.

Speaker 3 Yeah. It's like, still got it.
It's just like a reminder that you're not completely falling off. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 That's, yeah, that's a cool way to think. A new joke feeling.
Yeah, that's a, that's got to be right up there.

Speaker 1 How's your golf game?

Speaker 10 I mean, I'm an eight.

Speaker 1 That's pretty damn good.

Speaker 10 Yeah, it's probably even worse now.

Speaker 10 It hasn't been great with.

Speaker 10 I haven't been able to play. I need to play.
And I just haven't been able to play. It's just,

Speaker 10 you know, it's such a big time commitment. And it's just, everything's got busy.
And so mentally, it takes so much to do it. So I'll go play when I go home and just play at my course.

Speaker 10 And, you know, where I can just run around and it's not like a whole pressure. Yeah.
You're not playing somewhere that's the nicest place in the world.

Speaker 10 And, you know, you're just like, I'll just hit around and whatever. But

Speaker 10 hopefully I'll.

Speaker 10 It got COVID. I mean, COVID was, you know, I played every day then.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 With the holes that had the like cup filler in. Remember those? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Just walk around outside.

Speaker 3 How many lives did those save?

Speaker 10 I don't know.

Speaker 1 Probably millions.

Speaker 10 But I mean, people shot some low scores. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because, I mean, you just brush that little pool noodle. You're like,

Speaker 1 got it, birdie.

Speaker 1 It's going 30 miles an hour.

Speaker 1 COVID was actually a great thing for America.

Speaker 3 If you look at our handicaps, our handicaps all went down.

Speaker 10 And now we're all regretting it because now you're down there and you're like, man, this is not.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah,

Speaker 1 if you're playing against someone, you're like, damn, I wish I didn't have that COVID score on there.

Speaker 1 So you're from Nashville.

Speaker 3 Do you root for Vandy?

Speaker 10 Not Tennessee? Yeah, I'm a big Vanderbilt.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's unfortunate.

Speaker 10 Yeah, it was

Speaker 10 growing up.

Speaker 10 we i we had my mom worked at vandy she in the ticket office for a little bit my i had a cousin that coached there in the 70s and so we just kind of grew up around vandy and uh

Speaker 10 so yeah i've always been a vandy fan i've you know i think it's built character in me yeah like it's uh adds a lot i i i i'm a giant i love vandy fan i mean we got baseball now baseball's women's bowling is they were uh quite the problem for teams in women's bowling women's bowling yeah we're not you do not want to okay yeah

Speaker 10 i do think that rooting for a bad team does build character though i think you're definitely right about that like we both root for the worst nfl teams he's a bears fan i'm a commanders fan uh if we were successful if we rooted for like the patriots then people would absolutely hate our guts yeah well that's when you can see there's a lot of kids i remember like the bron was uh he's like a yankees cowboys and cowboys fan and there's like that generate like that age where you're like i mean are you kidding me dude yeah i mean but then he went to play for cleveland so you're like, All right, well, he, I mean, he was in it, yeah, with,

Speaker 10 but yeah, when they when they root for all that, you're like, well, I mean, I mean, I know the Cowboys are not doing good now, yeah, there's probably there's a whole generation of people who picked up the Cowboys, and they're like, wait, we were, we thought we'd win every year, yeah, it's been like 25 years where they haven't won anything, yeah, yeah, you got to go through that, yeah, and that's it's nice to just be like, golly, just you think, I mean, your heart gets broken so much.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I saw Vandy,

Speaker 10 we played, I remember in like 95 or 6 or something, we played LSU. LSU was ranked seventh.
We're not ranked. And it's seven to nothing.
And then we score a touchdown with 13 seconds left. So it's 7-6.

Speaker 10 And so we're going to go for two because

Speaker 10 it doesn't matter. And I mean, I was at the game.
You're like, this is the greatest thing. We're about to beat.
I mean, if we get it, we're going to beat LSU. We had all the momentum.

Speaker 10 We get back-to-back delay game penalties and then kick like a 90-yard extra point that gets blocked and then lose the game and it's stuff that you're like

Speaker 10 i couldn't have even guessed that that's what was going to happen yeah you thought all right worst case we just don't get it but we tried back to back delay and then the next day because you this one you had to read in the paper about the interviews next day they asked uh it was woody woodenhoffer passed away but he woody uh they asked him uh they go what play were you gonna do he goes out the same play

Speaker 1 what were y'all talking about over there you go because just there was no change there was no nothing.

Speaker 1 But here's the one positive thing about being a Vandy fan: it's every other team in the SEC's nightmare to lose to Vandi. You have that over them.

Speaker 1 We're like, you could lose 20 in a row, but if you beat them once,

Speaker 1 like LSU, Alabama, all these teams, they would be completely mortified and it would ruin their year. So you have that.
It's tough. Eternal spoiler.

Speaker 10 Cutler beat. Tennessee for the first time in 20-something years.
I have the DVD of that game at home.

Speaker 10 And it's, I mean, that was one of the greatest days. That's what I mean.
Like, if you're,

Speaker 10 you know, like, say you just become a Chiefs fan now, right? And you've, you've seen them win all these Super Bowls

Speaker 10 now.

Speaker 10 It's like the appreciation of a,

Speaker 10 I mean, we didn't even go to a bowl game that year that we beat Tennessee, but we beat Tennessee. Yeah.
And it hurt them so bad.

Speaker 1 You beat Florida in the swamp, too.

Speaker 10 Beat Florida in the swamp. That was.
And then, yeah. So you, like, when you do this kind of, you do those, like, you're, I mean, that is my national champion.

Speaker 1 yeah yeah right and so you appreciate it at a level that's yeah and it completely ruined like there's a florida fan and a tennessee fan listening to this right now being like god damn it cutler did beat us in the swamp yeah cutler did yeah

Speaker 10 it's being from a small town yeah feeling where you're like yeah i'm not in the big city i don't know how that is yeah so we don't get talked about much i mean i've been watching esp enter if you see i remember just trying to see if your team would get talked about if they were you know like if we had a good weekend and then you're like, dude, I mean, they might, like, you know, part of the repster might talk about us.

Speaker 10 And then you're, and so then you get to hear people talk about Vandy and you're, you just are like, I can't believe, you know, because it's, they're not, you know, they're just talking about the main

Speaker 10 biggest market.

Speaker 1 We get that on this show where we'll talk about, you know, a cool story or a smaller team and people are like, thank you for talking about us. Like, thank you for giving us three minutes on this team.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we don't need much. Right, yeah.
Right. Just be like, they're good.
They're good.

Speaker 10 Yeah. And you're like, they are good.

Speaker 1 Rewind.

Speaker 10 I mean, game day, they were not going to show that Vandi Auburn pick. No.
And they did that just because I was on. They're like, all right, we'll start with Vandi Auburn.

Speaker 3 What was that like on game day? Any pressure to get your picks right?

Speaker 10 I don't know how to get pressure. I wanted to, again,

Speaker 10 you're going to such a giant thing. And

Speaker 10 obviously, being from the South, Game Day is a giant thing for us. And we, for everybody that's in college football.

Speaker 10 But game day day is such a big thing and so I went we like kind of said I was like I just wanted to have it you have like you know five ten seconds for every pick so I was trying to just come up and just have a joke with everything so just everything I got to we just went through it and like just be like just let me have one little quick little joke whether you know be the best like joke I could come up with for what it was

Speaker 10 so I was I think I did good I think Arizona beat UCLA last night they did they got three losses yeah and and you also pissed off all of Oklahoma, which is good because

Speaker 1 that's really the key to college football discourse is like, you got to make at least one fan base hate you so much.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I never want to do that. And I, it was.

Speaker 1 It's impossible not to. It's impossible.

Speaker 10 I mean, that was, that was just, that was in the moment. I did not think of that until in the moment.
But then I'm, you know, you're surrounded by all SEC. Yeah.

Speaker 10 I was just trying to make a joke. And that was the only, I just, in the moment, I was like, I'll just say this.
And then I just said it.

Speaker 10 And then afterwards, yeah, people, college football fans can get very upset.

Speaker 1 You're going to get it like when Oklahoma hangs 60 on Vandi.

Speaker 1 You're going to get so many people being like, oh, yeah,

Speaker 1 yeah, yeah. Yeah, I expect it.

Speaker 10 Yeah, they'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 But they're thinking about it. They're waiting for that moment.
They're waiting for that moment. That's the best part about college football is you say one thing.
It could be a throwaway line.

Speaker 1 And people will remember it for years and years and years to shove it back in your face.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I wonder when we play that.

Speaker 1 But imagine all you have to do is just beat him once. If you beat, if you beat what if you beat them one time

Speaker 1 yeah oh my god if vanity beat oklahoma yeah oh yeah

Speaker 1 that's why i love college football though people are so psycho and everyone's psycho like it's not it's not like oh there's a rational fan base out there no no everyone has their own quirks every fan base is weird in their own special way the rational ones are the one that went to that school yeah it's the people that couldn't go i mean yeah you're you're i'm sure vanner built a team that i could never get in that school right and And then you become teams of all this stuff.

Speaker 10 That's like Oklahoma, all this, what? Yeah.

Speaker 3 That's actually insane that you became a Vanderbilt fan without going to Vanderbilt. It's like you chose this life.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I mean,

Speaker 10 you just kind of. That's torture.
Yeah, you just get into it.

Speaker 10 Yeah, a lot of two wins. I've had some zero wins.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like a lot of people say that. But you believe it's going to win.

Speaker 10 I mean, dude, the beginning of the season, you're like... Dude, we might, I mean, this season.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, you put up, you played Hawaii and you beat them.

Speaker 10 We beat him. This season, I thought, I go, we might be undefeated going into Georgia.

Speaker 1 And I believed it in my heart.

Speaker 10 And you just, because you're, that's what I love about it. That's what I love about sports is you have a, you just have this, you go, I don't know how we're not going to be defeated.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I, I mean, yeah, I, you go, show me where we're going to lose.

Speaker 10 Yeah. You're asking your other friends, point at the game.

Speaker 1 At worst, we're nine wins. Yeah.
I go,

Speaker 10 I go, if you're lucky, I'll give you, I'll give you a, we have one loss.

Speaker 10 I give you Georgia might be.

Speaker 1 I'll give you that. That's why August is my favorite month.
I wish I could go back there right now because I'm a Bears and Wisconsin badger. I went to Wisconsin, and it's like,

Speaker 1 there's many clips of me being like, yeah, I think Bears are going to win 11 games, and Wisconsin's like 10 or 11 as well. And both are not even cool.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 that two weeks

Speaker 1 preceding football season, we're just walking around and be like, anything could happen.

Speaker 10 You know, so you're a Commanders fan.

Speaker 10 I was a Redskins fan when I grew up because we didn't have the Titans. Right.

Speaker 10 Now I'm a Titans fan. But

Speaker 10 when they were, the Washington football team was the best.

Speaker 10 That was the best name in the world. I agree.
And it made me,

Speaker 10 when that name came out, I go, I feel stupid saying these other names. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
I go, why are we, it should be the Tennessee football team.

Speaker 10 And it should be, you know, you're like, oh, the Titans are the Dolphins. And you're like, this feels stupid saying these things.

Speaker 3 Exactly. You're like a Philadelphia fan.
You wrote for like a cartoon bird.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Go. We're a football team.
We play football. Yeah.

Speaker 3 This candy ass stuff.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it made it.

Speaker 10 And it never thought about it until they were the Washington football team. I was like, well, that's the best name I've ever heard in my life.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I kind of hope they go back to it. Yeah, I do, too.
I don't think they're going to stay with the Commanders.

Speaker 3 I think they're going to go back either to the football team, maybe the Hogs. We might be the Hogs.
Cartoon Pig would be kind of fun.

Speaker 10 Yeah, the Hogs would be good. But

Speaker 10 I think the whole league should just go, just say the city you're from.

Speaker 10 you know, yeah, the Miami football team, and you're like, perfect.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we play football, we line up and play football, we line up, yeah.

Speaker 1 We don't need these are the grown men, yeah, because the dolphins, I mean, we have a theory like the Dolphins, very good team, but when you take those jerseys, the Aqua and the orange and all that, and you put them in like Buffalo or Pittsburgh in like a December game, you can't win that game.

Speaker 1 That is true. You just can't.

Speaker 1 It's just the jersey.

Speaker 10 It's a summer jersey. It does, it's got a summer vibe.
Right.

Speaker 1 It's like you can't play football in those jerseys in January.

Speaker 10 Yeah, that is interesting. Yeah.
Yeah, you need a little more hard.

Speaker 10 Your colors need to be a little harder.

Speaker 1 And this is also why I'm a lifelong loser betting. So because I'm betting on football jerseys.

Speaker 10 Yeah, being a Dolphin fan is probably so fun right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can't beat any good teams. Just lost today.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 It's fun, but you also have to think in the back of your head, like, we might be frauds.

Speaker 1 Yeah, which is the worst thing that could happen. You'd much rather be like, I know my team is bad.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Or I know my team is good, but being the frauds, where it's like, oh, our record is good, but every time we play a good team, we lose. That's the worst feeling in sports.

Speaker 10 I like Mike McDonald's a lot, and I met him.

Speaker 10 Dan Soder, a comedian, is

Speaker 1 childhood friends. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 10 And so we met him when he was at the Redskins, the commanders,

Speaker 10 the Washington football team. And so we met him then, and he was like before San Francisco, he's like coming up.
And so it's super fun to see.

Speaker 1 Yeah. His come up.
Yeah, where he's at now.

Speaker 10 Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. I have one last question.
This has been awesome, Nate. We really appreciate you taking the time.
Oh, yeah. Thanks for having me.

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Speaker 1 So a little bit of a personal question that I actually, I might be projecting, but how long do you think you could do comedy? Can you do it for the rest of your life?

Speaker 1 Or is it something in your head you're like, I'm going to be 65 doing this? And again, I might be projecting because I ask myself this all the time.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I mean, I mean, Seinfeld does it. He's 68.

Speaker 1 True, good point.

Speaker 10 Cosby did it for, you know, as long as he could. He turned out great.

Speaker 1 He turned out great.

Speaker 1 As long as he could is a great guy.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I mean, his age didn't stop him.

Speaker 10 And then,

Speaker 10 you know, Don Rickles was 90. Yeah.
I mean, when Don Rickles got up there, it was, I think it was pretty tough.

Speaker 10 It just, they get so they they they're older i mean steve martin and martin short still go out they're 78 maybe or i don't know how old mark short but they're that old so comedy is a great thing that you can you build your audience and if you keep growing with your audience I mean, I think you hit an age where you're not getting new fans, but the people that do like you are just kind of keep going with you, and you just keep putting stuff out.

Speaker 10 So, I do think you can do it for as long as you want to. It's tiring to to come up with stuff.

Speaker 10 That's, I mean, you guys will know that creating stuff can be exhausting and you're just kind of non-stop. So

Speaker 10 it'd be nice to be like, you know, just where you can go. I'll go out when I want to go out.
Seinfeld right now can just go, you know what, I'm going to go to Philadelphia.

Speaker 10 And then he's like, let's go set it up. And, or he's coming here, Chicago next week with Gaffkin.
Right. Him and Gaffkin are doing shows together.

Speaker 10 And, you know, you can mix, you know, can do some stuff like that. It's like, that's kind of some fun things.
Yeah.

Speaker 10 I do hope to create stuff that can outlive like where I don't have to go out and do shows.

Speaker 10 But

Speaker 10 I think I'll always do shows. I really, I mean, telling a joke, live audience.
That was the thing about Saturday Night Live. Performing in front of a live audience in Saturday Live, it's so much fun.

Speaker 10 Yeah.

Speaker 10 And it's just your timing is good.

Speaker 10 It's just the greatest thing to go do something live.

Speaker 10 And so that's the thing that I think I'm would be addicted to is you want to get out in front of a crowd and be like, I want to make them laugh in the moment and all this kind of stuff.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you don't really hear about comedians retiring that much. It's like hanging up and saying, you know, I'm just going to stop being funny.

Speaker 10 Yeah, yeah, they don't. Bill Ingvo, I think, kind of retired recently.
But I mean, it's like he'll still pop up and do some benefit show. You're still going to get asked to do stuff.

Speaker 10 So I think you just kind of do it. You know, Foxworthy, I know,

Speaker 10 goes around. You just, the goal is to hopefully do it how you want to do it.
Yeah. Where you can go, yeah, I'm going out.
I go out twice a month or something, and then whatever.

Speaker 10 Instead of now, where it's like, just like, I look at like going, I'll, I'll get to 50, and then I'll be, I'm 44, so I always thought 40 to 50 will be my, you know, it's like, that would be a giant run, and let me see where I'm at at 50.

Speaker 10 And, you know, I might be like, well, no, I'm going to keep it.

Speaker 1 Well, I mean, it's right now, it's like you're, you're to the moon.

Speaker 10 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, it's crazy.

Speaker 10 So hopefully people don't get, I don't want to be too much around. I try to not,

Speaker 1 I mean, this has been a lot this week, but. Does it ever bother you when people say you're the nicest guy in comedy? That would bother me.

Speaker 10 No, no, I like it. I mean, I don't, you know.

Speaker 1 You are like a nice guy, but, you know, nice is sometimes seen as like, oh, he's nice. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 10 Well, I don't want people to think it's fake. You know, no, it's not fake.
It's like, I mean, I've like, because I always, I think people think I'm very driven. I'm very, you know, with comedy.

Speaker 10 I can take comedy very serious.

Speaker 10 I have all that stuff. But then it's also, I just want to be nice.

Speaker 10 I just want to be nice to, it's, you know, when you meet people and you meet, you know, people that come into your shows and stuff like that, I just don't ever think the weight of my world should be on an audience's shoulders.

Speaker 10 Yeah. And so I try, it's like, don't, I don't want them to ever worry about I'm there to entertain you, and that relationship should be that.

Speaker 1 I think it's also just like the idea of a comedian, people can't really be like, hey, he's a really good person.

Speaker 1 Because comedians, like, you think, oh, well, they're, you know, making jokes at everyone's expense and that, but that's obviously not you. So I think it's like, well, that's why I make fun of myself.

Speaker 1 Right. Yeah.
Right. And

Speaker 10 yeah. And it's, and if, so, I, if I'll just, I never liked making fun of someone because I just feel bad.
Right.

Speaker 10 And so then I just now I can just if I the way I do my hour now is like I've stumbled on this. I write it where it feels like

Speaker 1 I feel like a movie.

Speaker 10 Like I'm just, you know, even these are real stories, but it's like I'm a character in a movie. When you're up there, you're like, I'm kind of just reading a movie to you.

Speaker 10 And so I just want you to picture me. Like Adam Sandler movies are, you know, it's him making fun of himself in all these movies.
And

Speaker 10 it's that kind of feeling where you just want to be like, this is just trying to be fun. I'm in this movie.
I'm just kind of this

Speaker 10 fun, dumb guy going through all this kind of stuff.

Speaker 1 Well, like I said, I saw you on Friday night. I was dying laughing.
You're insanely talented.

Speaker 1 And thank you again for stopping by. We love to have you on.

Speaker 1 Anytime you're in town, maybe hit the golf simulator.

Speaker 10 I know, I know. Y'all guys, this is such an unreal space.

Speaker 1 It is very cool. Yeah, we're very excited.
Yeah. I would be.
I definitely would be excited. Yeah, it's fun to come to work.
Yeah, yeah. Without a doubt, yes.
All right. Well, thanks so much, Nate.

Speaker 1 Pretty Absolutely. Thanks, man.

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Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 The triumphant return of Guys on Chicks.

Speaker 3 Hank, how's your reading voice doing? Great.

Speaker 1 I was born to read. The triumphant return of Guys on Chicks.
Hank was born to read. He's a reader through and through.

Speaker 1 Henry.

Speaker 1 Guys on checks. Hi, PMT.
Breaking Moose.

Speaker 1 This comes from Dove Kleinman.

Speaker 1 He is saying that

Speaker 1 there.

Speaker 3 Gotta hang his mic off, please.

Speaker 1 A rumor.

Speaker 3 Thank you, Max.

Speaker 1 Owner Robert Kraft could move on from Coach Bill Belichick if they lose in Germany to the Colts via the Boston Globe. That's interesting.

Speaker 1 From the report, based on my conversation, I don't think it's 100% that Belichick finishes out the season. I have the hiccups.

Speaker 3 Could they leave him in Germany?

Speaker 5 Dolph Klein is on a real person.

Speaker 3 This report sounds real and it's via the Boston Globe. Ever heard of it?

Speaker 1 Well, I have more. They did Spotlight, Hank.

Speaker 1 If Belichick comes home from Germany with a 2-8 record, I think there's a chance that Krass could make the move in the bye week and install Jared Mayo as the interim coach for the final seven games.

Speaker 3 Wait, but BitCat, I have a question. Didn't he just sign an extension this offseason?

Speaker 1 He did.

Speaker 1 Oh, also in that same report it says that it was an extension through 2024 so it's a one-year what was that noise hank what did you say what was that noise max cut my headphones too um thoughts hank i didn't max cut my headphones people would like to know your thoughts

Speaker 1 about what this report you want me to read it all again from the start no

Speaker 5 Just win in Germany and this is okay.

Speaker 1 So this is a

Speaker 1 must-win for Belichick. A must-win

Speaker 1 in every sense of the word.

Speaker 5 Yeah, every game is is a must-win. I'm not fucking.

Speaker 1 He's literally coaching for his job.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 It's his job to coach.

Speaker 1 He's always coaching.

Speaker 6 Also, I feel like anytime a team is bad and they're playing overseas, the go-to joke is leave blank in blank.

Speaker 1 Yeah, leave him on the tarmac. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Don't bring him home.

Speaker 5 I feel like Belichick would have fun if he got left in Germany.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he would. I think, like, if Belichick got fired, he'd go on an awesome bender.

Speaker 3 Go hang out with your friends. Close a friend, yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, if he got, he's been fired before

Speaker 1 with the Browns. This time he's fired and he's got six rings.
Who the fuck cares? He's got probably hundreds of millions of dollars. Can you count the defensive coordinator rings?

Speaker 1 He's got eight rings.

Speaker 1 Do we?

Speaker 3 As a head coach, he's got six.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but he's got eight.

Speaker 1 So you count all those? Okay, that's fine.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. Bless you.
Bless you. Bless you.
Okay.

Speaker 5 I mean, he's a defensive coordinator. It's not like he was like.

Speaker 5 Special teams assistant.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but I just think it's interesting that he might get fired as a head coach and there's two other guys that are sitting in the same room as you that are looking for head coaches.

Speaker 3 Now, wouldn't that be something if one of us got him?

Speaker 5 Yeah, it would be something. Yeah.
It would definitely be something.

Speaker 3 Which team would you rather he go to, the commanders or the bears?

Speaker 5 Probably the I don't know. I mean, at least the commanders have a new owner and they might turn things around.
The bears are currently a dumpster fire with no turnaround in sight.

Speaker 5 They're the oldest owner.

Speaker 5 So at least the commanders, like they are a horrible franchise with just a history of losing over and over and over again and, you know, breaking players, losing good players, losing all their good coaches.

Speaker 5 But that was kind of the old regime. And

Speaker 5 maybe the new regime can be a little better. So I would say I want Harbaugh, so I don't care.

Speaker 3 I would take Belichick.

Speaker 3 I just want to say that. For the record, I think Bill Belichick is a good head coach, and I would like to see him coaching my team.

Speaker 3 Especially if it's instead of Hank's team.

Speaker 1 I think I want Harbaugh in Chicago more than anything I've ever wanted in my life.

Speaker 1 Mello?

Speaker 1 I did want Mello very badly.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Didn't go.

Speaker 5 Hey, PMT.

Speaker 1 Hey. Hey.

Speaker 5 My boyfriend has lost so much lately that not even my roommate wants to sleep. Oh,

Speaker 1 not even my roommate wants to sleep with the

Speaker 1 what can I do to make him feel better?

Speaker 3 He says he just wants to sleep.

Speaker 1 What the fuck is this?

Speaker 5 But I heard from one of his coworkers that he's having trouble hitting a button three times a week.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. This is me.
Oh, this is so fucking funny. My girlfriend's roommate.
I had to read these.

Speaker 1 Or my roommates.

Speaker 1 Boyfriend. That was the question? Read this story.

Speaker 5 My boyfriend has lost so much lately that not even my roommate wants to.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's such a great setup. This is.

Speaker 3 That might not be about Max, though.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that could be about anyone. So let's answer this.
All right.

Speaker 1 This guy sounds like he might be going on a diet, so that's good. Maybe he'll get his libido back.

Speaker 3 I think what he needs to do to turn it around is,

Speaker 3 first of all, he needs to dedicate himself to his job. If you can find success professionally, then you feel better about yourself.

Speaker 3 So if you get really into doing your job well all the time, that would be a good idea.

Speaker 3 Second, you know, we can learn from Arthur Smith a little bit. Change up the facial hair.
Maybe take the beard off. And I'm just assuming this guy has a beard.

Speaker 3 If you're sad and if you're losing, you grow a beard. It's your sadness escaping your face.

Speaker 1 I cut my hair.

Speaker 1 Wait, whoa. What?

Speaker 3 What do you mean, you? This isn't about you.

Speaker 1 I cut my hair. I was just letting you guys know.

Speaker 3 You are a narcissist. Are you sad?

Speaker 1 Same letting me know.

Speaker 1 Are you so sad that you won't even sleep with your girlfriend's roommate? I do not sleep with my girlfriend's roommate. You did once.
You did. You slept with her.

Speaker 3 You did once.

Speaker 4 I fell asleep.

Speaker 1 You literally slept with her. What happens after you fall asleep?

Speaker 3 What are you doing?

Speaker 5 Where did you fall asleep?

Speaker 1 Or would you wake up? Did you or did you not sleep together? This was so long ago. Like, why?

Speaker 1 This shouldn't be still talked about. I've realized Hank's kind of like Ron Burden on the teleprompter, whatever you're talking about.
Yeah. Yeah, you could do anything.
Yeah, facts.

Speaker 3 Dude, that's how great of a reader reader he is.

Speaker 5 It's boring to read. My boyfriend is a big soup guy and loves to make it.
He's been exploring new recipes of different soups that he finds on TikTok and are a good amount

Speaker 5 and some are good and some aren't so good.

Speaker 1 Chicken noodle is his best soup

Speaker 1 that he makes.

Speaker 5 That was worded incorrectly. Chicken noodle is his best soup that he makes, but also makes it at least three times a month.

Speaker 5 How do I go about telling him that some of the new soup recipes are not good and telling him that he makes chicken noodle soup too often? Sounds like a soup hater.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Yeah, this is a hater for sure. Like he's experimenting.
Your complaint is that your boyfriend switches up the soups too much. Like that's a good thing.

Speaker 3 But then also at the same time, you're like, he makes the same soup all the time. I don't understand that.
Like,

Speaker 5 first of all, if he has a good soup recipe that he makes, three times a month isn't that much. It's really not.
And soup is like... If you want a meal, you can get a meal.

Speaker 5 Soup is just great to have whenever you need it.

Speaker 3 And a little soup pack here for all my broth heads out there. If you make a good chicken noodle soup, you can switch it up a little bit.
A chicken noodle soup can turn into an Avgo Limono Greek soup.

Speaker 3 It's a Greek chicken soup, which is my favorite soup in the world. It can also turn into a chicken tortilla soup if you add in, you know, like some peppers, some corn, some tortilla strips.

Speaker 3 So you can make variations off the chicken noodle soup. But yeah, this sounds like you don't know what you want.

Speaker 1 Also, sounds like you just need more crackers. I'm a big crackers guy in my soup.
Any type of soup. Just more crackers.
Spice it up.

Speaker 1 Hey, boys. Hey.

Speaker 5 My boyfriend and I have lived together for over a year now and have been talking for years. He's always been into sports, but after moving in together, I've come to know what that truly means.

Speaker 5 When can I expect to have my boyfriend back? He likes the Steelers, Penguins, and Michigan football.

Speaker 1 Oh, buddy.

Speaker 1 He's got a lot going on.

Speaker 5 I mean, if you didn't know this obsession before you moved in.

Speaker 1 Also, the answer is May, June, July. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He sounds like a Pittsburgh fan. The good news is, because he's a Pittsburgh fan, he probably doesn't watch any basketball or baseball.
Yeah. So you're good.

Speaker 1 You get almost a third of the year with your boyfriend. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Don't

Speaker 1 push it.

Speaker 3 Every guy's sports addiction is like any other addiction. They let you know they dabble in it, but they hide from you how truly, like the lengths that it goes to.

Speaker 3 So when you see it in your face, you're like, wow, that's way more sports than I thought you did. You do a lot of sports.

Speaker 1 You do a lot of sports.

Speaker 3 I could quit any time, but I just, I love doing it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 All right, last one.

Speaker 5 Hey, father of three. Best college team in the nation, PFT.

Speaker 1 Loser Hank.

Speaker 3 Did she specify which sport? Loser Max.

Speaker 5 She did not. Could be three.
And very cool Jake. My fiancé has really bad gas.
He rips a loud one right when we wake up, as we're laying in bed at night, during dinner, literally all the time.

Speaker 3 That sounds normal, actually. That's not.

Speaker 1 During dinner is a little much.

Speaker 5 He refuses to go see the doctor to see if he has a problem and says, it's just who I am. I fart a lot and they smell.
That's part of being a man.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 5 Do all men fart all the time? What's an acceptable amount of farts in a day?

Speaker 3 You know what? I've never kept track of how often I fart. I would say.

Speaker 8 It's a game of runs.

Speaker 6 Sometimes it's really bad.

Speaker 1 It's a really bad day.

Speaker 6 Sometimes you don't fart at all.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, it's diet. So if you want to just start feeding him better food, he probably won't fart as much.

Speaker 5 I've actually noticed the opposite. If I ate healthy, I have worse farts.

Speaker 4 Salads are the worst farts.

Speaker 1 I was so excited to chime in.

Speaker 4 Eating healthy makes you fart more. And that's just a fact.

Speaker 1 I don't know, but it might be because your body's so confused.

Speaker 3 It's like, is this a vegetable?

Speaker 1 What is a vegetable? But if you just eat protein, if you go caveman diet, I don't think caveman would probably be fine. Yeah,

Speaker 1 caveman diet.

Speaker 3 I would just love to see that guy actually go to the doctor and he makes an appointment. The doctor's like, What's the problem? He's like, I fart.

Speaker 1 He's like, Pull my finger.

Speaker 3 Yeah, the doctor, they just start farting in the room together, having a great time.

Speaker 1 I would say, baby steps, dinner is an appropriate time to say, Please don't fart. Every other time, just just let him be.

Speaker 1 And as we always say with guys on chicks, if you just start farting, he might stop. You know, like if

Speaker 1 you just start farting in his face and you're like, that's what I do. I fart.
He's like, oh, all of a sudden, farts aren't that funny.

Speaker 3 Fight fire with fire. If you fart exactly as often as he does.

Speaker 1 He will stop. I guarantee you.
If you fart as much as him and then you're like, hey, let's make a pact to stop farting. He will stop.

Speaker 10 Also, just slip him some bino.

Speaker 4 Does that work?

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's got to get on some Bino. I got to start doing lines of Bino.

Speaker 1 Bino does work.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Good show, everyone.

Speaker 1 Everyone, go. If you're in Chicago, come to the Barstow Invitational.
If you're not, Barstow.tv. Good reading, Hank.
6 p.m. Central is the first game tipping.
5:45, I think, is the anthem.

Speaker 1 It's also on the Barstow Sports YouTube. Ooh, on the YouTube as well.

Speaker 5 After party at the River North Bar. Hell yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, Hank. I'm gonna be ripping that River North bar.
Have you ever gotten this

Speaker 1 gotten what? The lottery ball, yeah. I have

Speaker 1 this one on the new machine. No, I haven't.
That's too bad. Have you? Uh, numbers: 18, 8, 17, 20.

Speaker 1 What? What are you laughing about?

Speaker 1 52.

Speaker 1 3.

Speaker 3 Would you get 52 for a little Mac?

Speaker 1 You guys got it. Tuck Lil Mac.
Yeah, 99. Let's go, Khalil.
Evan has 99. 10.

Speaker 7 Shane has 10.

Speaker 3 Nice job, Doofus.

Speaker 1 I hope Evan gets it. Fuck you, you freak.

Speaker 3 I think Evan's going to be. Statistically, 17 is a horrible pick.

Speaker 1 What's Evan's number?

Speaker 10 Evan has 99.

Speaker 5 Ooh. Ooh.
It feels good.

Speaker 8 Isn't there's also 100 in there.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 6 Also, in the reveal video, 47 popped up, and I had a few people

Speaker 1 accounts. Counts for them or for counts for the machine.
Okay. Officially.

Speaker 6 I don't know if I can add it in because it wasn't an episode. We'll figure it out.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Let's go.

Speaker 1 You dickhead. 52 Hank gets it first.

Speaker 3 You dickhead.

Speaker 1 Let's go. Let's go.
This is mine now. Thank you.
Thank you very much. Khalil Mac.

Speaker 5 Big Cat took my number. PFT took my number.
I got it. Big Cat took my number.
I got it. I looked around.
I saw this bobblehead, Khalil Mack, sitting right behind Big Cat. Bang!

Speaker 1 Bang! It's only.

Speaker 1 We have to get a new lottery button.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 My night is ruined.

Speaker 1 That's huge for Hammond. Shut up, Jake.
You make this worse.

Speaker 1 You make it worse.

Speaker 5 Great night tonight.

Speaker 1 Boo.

Speaker 3 It's sad how much of your night and your life really is predicated on you guessing right now.

Speaker 5 Are you guys talking about yourselves?

Speaker 3 No, yours is.

Speaker 1 Let's do another.

Speaker 1 Let's do another. 17.
Counts.

Speaker 1 Counts. Yeah, counts, counts.
18. 20.

Speaker 5 Oh, let's go 34.

Speaker 1 We're going shock now? All right, I'll do 33. Ronde.

Speaker 1 What do you guys guess? What did you guys guess? Eight. I don't think any of us are changing.

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Chain 10. Yeah.
God damn it, man.

Speaker 1 Only Hank Chain.

Speaker 3 Joe Belicick's going to leave you, and he's going to coach my team. He's going to win the Super Bowl.

Speaker 3 96.

Speaker 1 Oh, fuck.

Speaker 10 I thought that was 99 for Evan.

Speaker 3 It wasn't even close.

Speaker 1 96 delete all the time. That's not even too many.

Speaker 1 You can delete down from that. You can delete this.

Speaker 1 Don't post it. You could.
But if I didn't press the button. Oh!

Speaker 3 Soul patch for two years. Why don't we just delete it?

Speaker 1 We'll just start over. Max, would it be worth it for you to have a soul patch for two years for Hank not to get it? I would rather Hank get the lottery ball every single day.

Speaker 1 You're such a piece of shit, Hank.

Speaker 1 You lost your computer for seven days.

Speaker 10 Where is that computer?

Speaker 1 Did you hide it? I don't have it. No,

Speaker 5 I don't fucking know. I don't care.

Speaker 1 See, you're just not gonna work.

Speaker 5 I'll find it.

Speaker 5 I'm gonna enjoy this moment.

Speaker 3 Show is over. Love you guys.
Thank you so much.

Speaker 1 It's part of my team.

Speaker 1 The number one spot podcast on the charts and in your heart.

Speaker 1 More than my check,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 far and my day,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 far and my shit,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 far and my day,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 far and my shit,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 my day,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 pardon my shit,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 for the mighty

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 pardon my check,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 for the mighty

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 pardon my shit,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 for the

Speaker 1 day,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 pardon my check,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 for the

Speaker 1 day,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 pardon my sin,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 for the mighty

Speaker 1 mighty

Speaker 1 sin,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 for the mighty

Speaker 1 sin,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 for the mighty,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 pardon my sin,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 for the mighty

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 pardon my sin,

Speaker 1 far down my day

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 pardon my sin

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 my day

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 pardon my sins

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 pardon