NFL With Our Friend Sam Schwartzstein, NFL Week 10 Picks & Preview + Fyre Fest Of The Week

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I mean, where else can you pair wall-to-wall hoops with hard-to-find whiskey? Only at Twin Peaks the number one sports bar. On today's part of my take, we have a very special guest.
It is Sam Schwartstein. You probably don't recognize the name, but it is a phenomenal interview.
It's a must-listen interview. Sam is a friend of ours, been a friend of ours for many years.
He does Amazon Prime Vision on Thursday Night Football. He played at Stanford for Coach Harbaugh with Andrew Luck.
He's got great Harbaugh stories. He's got great football intellect.
You're going to get smarter listening to this interview. We're then going to do, or sorry, before that, we're going to do our Week 10 preview.
You're going to get dumber listening to our Week 10 preview. For sure.
Because we have not slept in like three days with the opening of the new Chicago office, everything we've had going on this week. So yes, specifically the Raiders, Jets, and Patriots, Colts previews.
You will get dumber, but hopefully you'll laugh. We're going to talk about Thursday Night Football, whatever the hell we just watched, and then Fyre Fest of the Week.
Great Friday show, sending you into a great football weekend. It's quarantine.

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Okay, let's go. Oi, oi, oi.

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Thank you. Welcome to part of my take.
Today is Friday, November 10th. And that was football.
The Carolina Panthers have the first overall pick in the draft. Yeah, that was football ish.
The Bears are. Are you guys first in the draft now? Let's pull it up.
Yeah, because the Cardinals obviously haven't played. The Carolina Panthers give the first pick to the Chicago Bears as of right now.
If the season ended today. The Bears now are the fifth pick.
The Patriots Giants have both leapfrogged the Bears. So updated to the it was the it was the draft ball where the Bears were playing against the team that they had their first pick.
It was sort of football. Bryce Young, not good.
Tyson Bajan, also not good. Not good.
Nobody was good tonight, really. Cairo Santos was good.
Cairo Santos was good. Your punter was mostly good.
Dante Foreman was good. DJ Moore had some flashes.
And the refs are motherfuckers because we had not only the fake,

probably the meanest thing you can do in all football.

When a kick return happens against your team

and then the graphics show's flag,

because it's always going to be like, oh, it's coming back.

They just never addressed it.

They never said it.

They never said anything about it.

They just went right to the extra point, right to commercial.

I sat there being like, you can't do that.

I'll never recover from this.

Thank you. they just never addressed it they never said it they never said anything about it they just went right to the extra point right to commercial i sat there being like you can't do that i'll never recover from this and then they did it again where it was a uh pass interference on dj more but at first they called it pass interference on the panthers and the rep was like whoops wrong team that's those those roller coaster of emotions when it comes to flags you can't recover from those There's a false flag we got all the documents right here exactly uh panthers we learned tonight are not really built to come from behind they're not really built to do anything now that i think of it the bears kind of are the bears down 10 10-3 definitely built to come from behind um they're an air it out team bryce young there's still not a lot to be optimistic about if you're a carolina Panthers fan actually no I'm gonna change that we did put them first in our our like future misery draft yeah I think that there's a chance that David Tepper fires Frank Reich this week so it is micromanager it is 10 29 p.m.
central the game just ended David Tepper did not look happy in the booth they caught they caught him shaking his head. He's a micromanager.
He has a pair of brass testicles on his desk. That is a man that will fire somebody for – he's fired men for far less than that.
Yeah. And I would be surprised if Frank Reich lasted the entire season.
It looks like things are not trending in the right direction for him. When he sent his kicker out at the end of the game, Eddie Pin and the 59 yard field goal ended up about what four yards five yards short yeah it was true to like it was right down the middle and then Pinero like looked over at the side and kind of shrugged like what do you want me to do what the fuck you guys want me to do you knew how long my field goals were I told you what my limit was you sent me out anyways that seemed like a desperation move by Frank Reich being like maybe I'll just kick kick it farther this time like frank reich knew that his kicker wasn't going to make that no he knew and he still sent him out and he probably knew because eddie pinero played for the bears probably like no i've never made it i can't do this on the field not in this stadium yeah no uh we also that last drive by the panthers perfectly summed up the game because it was 15 plays 50 yards yeah that's hard to do it was a drive to nowhere that's hard to do to get fit that means that every first down you're basically just barely getting a first down which they did uh it took five and a half minutes and yeah that was let's just say this okay let's put it all let's reset uh even though i was watching and this was the last time that I was hoping the Bears would win a game this year because now it is

full tank. This was the one game

because you want the Panthers to have

the worst record so you can have their number one

pick. And I do hope

Justin Fields gets back because Tyson Bajan,

nice guy.

Nice guy. I'm rooting for him.

Cool dad. He's got a great dad.
Great dad.

Maybe he'll be the backup for the Bears for a long time. That'd be great because I am rooting for him.
Awesome story. This idea that he's a starter.
Let's just stop that. Okay, let's stop that right now, which I think most people actually stopped it a couple weeks ago.
But I'm going to stop myself with that right now. Yeah, this was the last time that I was going to be like, I want the Bears really win this game maybe against the packers as well but let's reset we got through the we got through the shit okay next week we get ravens bangles that's gonna be nice and then the monday night football game after that is chiefs eagles okay nice and then we get three games on thanksgiving as is tradition and then we get bonus football on black Friday.
So we got through it, okay? We got through the first step of whatever this week 10 is going to be. This is Hell Week.
This is Hell Week. Hell Week.
And you know what? Hell Week, you look back on it, you know, like 10 years after you graduate college, and you're like, Hell Week rocked. Yeah.
But when you're in the shit, you think it sucks. But this is football, and we love football, and I would never say anything bad about football.
Yeah that's all i'm gonna say about that look at this week 13 seahawks cowboys on thursday night there we go that's good things things are looking good if you're a football fan then we're gonna do patriots stealers uh we can't get too far ahead of ourselves no we've got some great games coming up yeah we, we do have some great games. On Thursday? Sunday? December, week 14, December 7th.
Patriots, Steelers, then Chargers, Raiders. Well, I'm going to stop doing this.
This is going to start bumming me out. All right, we got through it.
We got through step one of how weak. Everyone buckle up.
We're going to get through this together. Also, Al Michaels, good job tonight.
Yeah, it was funny when he said, it looks like they're going to try the tush push with Bryce Young, except he doesn't have that much tush to push. Yeah.
That was good. Yeah.
It's vintage Al. Yeah.
Skinny. Daddy Bajan.
Daddy Bajan. Daddy Bajan got a little horny at the end.
We got a little Al after dark. Yeah.
Daddy Bajan. Yeah, that was football.
Yeah, and I love football.

I love football.

Okay, that's it, really.

Should we do?

I put this disclaimer at the beginning, but yeah, this Week 10 preview,

buckle up because we take a lot of twists and turns that go off football

wherever it goes.

I think it actually is some of our best podcasting.

It's the perfect preview to run with Sam. Yeah.
Because Sam definitely levels it out. The interview with him is awesome.
And I just love talking to Sam. He will make you smarter about football.
Yeah. He'll undo all the brain damage that we do to you in the first part of this.
And everyone please tweet Sam after and say, great job on part of my take. We need you back on.
Yep. Let's boost them up.
Okay. Let's kick it to ourselves.
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Week 10. Week 10.
Double digits. We've reached over the halfway point.
You know what? That means we're just rounding a shape right now. Yes.
And so just a disclaimer for everyone listening at home. You heard us obviously talk about the Bears, Panthers to start the show.
This is how we do the Friday show. We tape the week 10 preview in the afternoon.
And we watch the game. Then we finish the beginning of the show.
We have basically been working nonstop this week. We are out of gas.
It might get a little loopy. That's fine, though.
Those are some of the best shows that we do. Yeah, I want the disclaimer.
So when we say something stupid and everyone's like, you fucking idiots, it's like, listen, guys. I think in this room, well, no, Hank sleeps like a baby.
Between PFT and I, we're probably sleeping about four hours a night the last four days. It's loopy season.
PFT, we just had a moment where we thought we had to do an ad. We had taped the ad an hour ago, and he's like, do we have to do that ad now? And we're like, the one we did an hour ago? I had completely forgotten what I did an hour ago.
And it took about five minutes worth of our time to do it. Completely in one ear, out the other.
My brain's not operating. But I do think that sometimes when we get loopy on this show and we get into into our dumbest modes it somehow makes us smarter yes i live it's when yeah i was at a work event till 2 2 30 a.m last oh yeah you were at the bar you live in the dumb zone yeah yeah we're we're yeah i'm never sharp i'm always loopy you were born into we're merely adopting it right now and um it's when we think that we're being really smart that we're actually at our stupidest yes yes so week 10 hank is wearing a cleo mac jersey i wish he'd take that fucking jersey off uh but we're gonna start the best way to start colts at patriots germany but more importantly hank's lighthouse presentation all right we go.
I've been waiting all week.

I've actually, you know,

I get a lot of feedback from our listeners,

which I love.

I take all into account.

The one thing I got more than anything else

is I can't wait for Hank's lighthouse presentation.

On Friday, people are setting their clocks to it

and they're excited to tune in.

So, Hank.

Make sure you turn your clocks back forward this week.

Correct, correct.

Without further ado,

Hank, the lighthouse presentation.

All right, cut in here.

What?

What are you talking about? What are you talking about? And cut out. So you don't have the lighthouse presentation.
I will have it today. I thought the due date was – I thought we were recording later.
No, you didn't. When do we ever record later than this? We don't record.
We're recording tonight. No.
We are recording later. We said we were going to do it during the Colts Patriots preview because this game stinks and you don't have it ready.
So now you have to extend it to next week. Not tonight? No.
It makes no sense to do it. I thought we were going to add it into this part.
No. We're not going to do tricks for the audience.
They're going to be like, oh, they talked about him not having it. Now he has it? It's a trick.
We're not going to trick the audience. I think you owe our listeners an apology.
Yeah. AWLs, I would like to apologize.
I do not have the presentation ready. I don't really have a good excuse.
Scumbag. You got that jersey.
You went and bought that jersey. Yeah, I bought this jersey.
I've actually had this for a long time. I just lost a little bit of weight since I got it uh oh who's that a joke if it happens again you should get a soul patch yeah yeah whose expense is that joke at no i just the the losing weight jersey you had it for a long time it's a 3xl i was yeah who a little bit bigger back in the day so who's who are you making fun of right now i'm not making fun of anyone i'm just people are like why that jersey is a little bit big on it's because it sounds like during your apology you just instead weight shamed somebody who lent you making fun of right now? I'm not making fun of anyone.
I'm just people are like, why? That jersey's a little bit big on you. Because it sounds like during your apology, you just instead weight shamed somebody who lent you that jersey.
I'm not weight shaming anyone. Who lent you that jersey? Eddie.
Yeah. Wow, that's fucked up.
Eddie's the nicest guy in the world. Eddie is the nicest guy.
He gave me this jersey. Look, I'm sorry to Eddie.
I wish you weren't here. I wish Eddie was.
I'm sorry to you guys. I wish you were back in New Jersey.
That's what I wish. I wish you were swimming with the fishes.
I have a, like, after we finish this recording, I'm free for like six hours. I was very busy this morning.
Oh, good. I'm glad to hear that you're free for six hours after this.
You're not going to watch the game? You're wearing a Bears jersey. I'll be watching.
We're going to be done in an hour. The game doesn't start for three hours.
I'm not going to be on the

stream, so I'll be sitting on my computer working. Oh, Hank doesn't

care about the streams when Tiffany's. I'm not on the

stream. Oh, pervert.
Pervert my take.

Pervert my take. Look,

at the end of the day, I am very sorry.

You fucked up.

Actually, it should be called hard on my take.

Yeah, you fucked up.

I did fuck up. So when are we getting the presentation? It'll be done tonight.
I can present it whenever you're ready for it. And I'll do something as atonement.
All right. Soul patch.
No. Get a cat.
Start the lottery ball slate clean. You never got it.
You never got it. No.
You never got it. No.
You know what this is is it's just hank like high stepping and thinking he's the man because he got the lottery correct oh he's he doesn't think he has to do any work anymore no you think you're on top of the world you've had a week to do this presentation hank look there's there's some things we have had a busy week and and there's a lot of times where i really get to thank my lucky star sometimes i i don't take it for granted but sometimes I lose sight of how lucky I am to have this job and to work with you guys we went to a corporate uh presentation this week and it started and within two minutes I was like I wouldn't last a second dude I had the same feeling I was like I'll put a bullet in my head if I have to be in a conference room for more than 10 minutes and then when I start I said there's been two times where I sat down. And the thing is, I have the presentation in my head.
I know what I want to put on paper. But I sit down and I open pages and I start doing it.
And my ADHD kicks in. And I'm like, I just procrastinate.
Oh, you're on Uges. I'm like, I'll do this later.
I'll do this later. I'll do this later.
And then the deadline comes. And I like i have you know hat in hand i'm sorry uh so that's it's really just a long way of saying thank you guys for for giving me the opportunity to do this every day stop it but that that that meeting you're a professional craft it it started in legitimately two minutes and i was like i i could not last one minute like i if i didn't have this job i don't i truly don't know what be doing with my life.
You'd be in a gutter. I really enjoyed the corporate meeting.
It was a great meeting, but it's hard to sit in a conference room. I couldn't do that every day.
Yeah, right. If I was thinking of myself on the other side.
I get in there. I'm doing action items.
I'm circling back. I'm putting pins and stuff.
I'm loving every second of it. It wasn't the meeting.
It was the physical act of sitting in like a room with everyone around being serious. And I was like, I haven't been in a room like this in a long time.
If I was in that corporate life, I would just start every meeting or every sentence with per my email. Yeah.
It's just such a power. Let's now circle.
Hank, when can we circle back on the lighthouse? The lighthouse. Stop saying tonight.
I'm saying it will be done. You guys can tell me.
No, no, no, no, no. If you, we will address it on Wednesday.
Okay, whenever you want. He's not going to do it.
Absolutely not. And also, I have time.
No, he's totally going to get it done tonight, even though it's not due until next week. As soon as he walks by the golf simulator, it's over.
Yeah. I won't golf until I finish it.
Okay, well, there is a more important storyline that we can get into with the Colts at the Patriots in Frankfurt, Germany. I can break this down.
Colts are underdogs at home in Germany. Belichick's leading his guys over there.
Both teams are traveling on Thursday after their walkthrough, so there's no travel advantage. Who knows where Belichick's going to be during the night,

during the course of the week.

He might have some friends' houses he's staying over at.

Big Cat, I don't know if you saw this video.

Colts are not underdogs, by the way.

The Patriots are one and a half point underdogs.

The two-point underdogs.

Okay, so it moved this morning.

All right, so, Big Cat, I'm not sure if you've seen this video

that's making the rounds of Coach Bill Belichick exiting somebody's house at what appears to be i don't know 5 30 6 a.m in the morning shirtless no shirt on doing the walk of shame easing his way out of the door making sure not to make too much noise on his way out uh presumably staying over at a young lady's house during the night living his best life. When was this video from?

I don't know.

It just came out today.

It has to be summertime, right?

The man is shirtless.

Who knows where the shirt is?

Oh, my God.

I'll say this about the video.

Belichick looks powerful.

Yeah, he does.

He's always had the barrel chest.

The back dimples.

Yeah.

The lines in his back.

Yeah.

He looks like that man can fuck. That's the back of a man that was up all night in pussy.
Wait, is there sound to this video? I don't think so. Because he definitely ripped a fart.
Oh, that's the first thing you do when you leave. Yeah.
Wait. Oh, man.
It looked like he was going to rip a fart. He kind of like breathed in there.
All right. if he had done like the steve belichick on his way out into the camera the defensive thing listen good for him good for him yeah parver my take parver my take um is he gonna get fired he might oh i cannot wait i listen i've thought about this over the last couple days because the the belichick to chicago belichick to washington rumors keep increasing by the i want harbaugh it seems like okay i'll take belichick um and i'm gonna be happy for you to get harbaugh too i think that'd be good for the show all around uh a lot of people are saying like is belichick the right coach if you're a team like the Commanders? Would you even want a guy that's that old, probably on the downside of his career? I say yes.
I would love Bill Belichick. I understand the concerns, but strictly for the purposes of this show, to steal Hank's head coach.
Yes. That would be incredible for me personally.
I've seen a lot of photoshops of Belichick recently.

Are they photoshops?

Are they real?

Where he's wearing commander's gear.

I thought one of them was real.

You've commissioned them.

But Hank, if he loses this game, would you like to see him fired?

Absolutely not.

That's a crazy question.

Okay.

Do you think they will lose this game?

Yeah. I actually don't.
I actually actually the patriots might win this game so two reasons one uh gardner mintry's been in the league for a long time never played belichick belichick might just not give a fuck he might not give a fuck so that might not that video i don't know when the video's from it probably is from the summer but like that is like a it looks like a summer video that's like a jersey shore clip yeah yeah because the house is all next to each other he's not in nantucket he's not in an estate uh he's in like taunton i also think that this is the one chance that mac jones can maybe look good because the colts defense is bad and gus bradley runs the same defense no matter what all the all the time. Mack Jones seems like a jet lag.
He's going to be like, oh, jet lag. Cranky.
Crying eyes, yeah. Is he allowed to travel overseas? I think so.
With the DUIs? I have a fun stat that means absolutely nothing. I saw someone be like, Bill Belichick, he's 3-0 international games, so's good with like planning out the travel and stuff or he had Tom Brady yeah that's a good point travel doesn't really matter when you have Tom Brady what's Bill Belichick's record in Super Bowls big cat I don't know is it 6-3 6-3 that's 3-4 3-3 that Eagles.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's pretty good. But he also had Tom Brady in those games.
Mm-hmm. Yeah, for sure.
For sure. For sure.
For sure. For sure.
So you don't think the Patriots are going to win. Will you wake up for this game knowing that it's after a Saturday and Hank gets after it? I will not be participating in any client entertaining activities this weekend so i will be waking up wow what do you do on friday i don't know probably be here i'm trying to give my brain a break we're in the office full swing there's a lot of exciting stuff happening and i i would like to get ahead of it for once okay okay okay Kind of like the report that you haven't done.
Yeah. One thing.
I can't. All right.
You guys know me. The listeners probably know me at this point.
No, they know you. They know you too well.
I struggle when I'm overwhelmed, and then you factor in a hangover. How is a lighthouse presentation overwhelming? It's just like the tip.
It's just like the straw that breaks the camel's back. Like, anything, like, I do not do well managing multiple things at once.
If there's anything else I have to do. You're in charge of this whole office.
Like, no, I know, but, like, there's a lot of shit going on. So it's like, do I want to do this presentation or do I want to do, like, focus on something for the office? And I'm always like, all right, well, I got to do this.
I got to do this. I got to do this.
I need a clear mind. I need, like, nothing.
You got to prioritize. That's what you have to do this presentation or do i want to do like focus on something for the office and i'm always like all right well i gotta do this i gotta do this i gotta do this i need it i need a clear mind i need like you gotta prioritize it that's what you have to do hank let me ask you a question if it was if part of my take just ceased to exist do you think that this office would be here right now no so maybe the priority is on the lighthouse presentation i thought i was going to be able to sneak it into tonight and it would be cool and then once we started the podcast i realized that i was mistaken which we start at the same time every thursday no i know but i thought like this one later yeah we did sometimes sometimes we do stuff and it's like all right we'll do it we'll do it when we record tonight and you guys are cool and then once we started i was like okay now this well because it would be weird because we'd be like why are we doing the lighthouse presentation well i try to doin, cut-out.
Nerd nugget for this game. Not only are the Patriots 3-0 in the NFL's International Series, but they've only let up one touchdown in each of those three games.
Wow. So it could be a Tom Brady stat, but also the defense has played well.
I didn't really – sorry, Jake. I might have to ask you to repeat that because I was just – I was just thinking back about our preview of the Colts Patriots.
Yeah, it was where the fuck is the lighthouse presentation? Maybe you see Bill Belichick fart and where the fuck is the lighthouse presentation? But you know what? That's exactly the preview you need for this game. No one cares about this game.
All right, sorry, Jake. Can you repeat it? I feel like I'm in high school trying to convince my teachers to give me a passing grade so I can be eligible.
This game stinks. Yeah, it's tough.
We should do that every week. The worst game on the schedule will just be like, make sure we don't actually mention anything about the game.
Doghouse game of the week. Yeah, this game is in my doghouse.
For sure. The fact that it's so early too.
I'm going to game cast this game. I'm just going to watch the updates of scores.
Oh, I'm going to watch it in bed. I'll be up.
I might be here. You're not going to be here.
No, you're not going to be. I'll leave.
I'll leave my apartment at half. Well, that's not.
Yeah, that's different. So Jake nerd nugget.
Yeah. So in those three wins in the NFL's international series, the Patriots have only let up one touchdown in each of those games.
Oh, okay. Tom Brady has excelled.
Yes, but the the defense has also played well for the Patriots. Okay.
The Colts don't stop anybody. Yeah.
So I think I'm going to take the over and just hope that it happens. Yeah, I like that.
All right. Now for a good game, which should have been flexed this Sunday night.
Hank is off the hot seat. He just let out a big sigh of relief.
Niners at Jags. This game is going to be awesome because we're going to find out if the Niners have corrected what has been ailing them, which the bye week came at a good time for them.
Devo Samuel back. Trent Williams maybe back.
Kyle Shanahan had a weird press conference where he's like, yeah, he's dealing with his ankle and some other things in his body. And yeah, Chase Young, first time in the Niners uniform.
I think the Niners are going to win this game. I think they're going to look good.
Best effort. Defensive coordinator coming down out of the booth.
They need that old school. D'Amico Ryans was obviously on the sideline pumping people up.
They're trying to find that Kyle Shanahan's going to get more involved in the defense.

Yeah, these are all I feel like they realize, hey, we're a really good team, but we got to start taking some shit seriously.

There's going to be a lot of Wilkes Booth jokes going on this weekend.

Yeah, I say that like is the person who's going to make the Wilkes.

No, I did it.

In the room.

I already did it.

I already did it.

Something about Wilkes Booth.

A play never ends.

Well, if Wilkes Booth is involved, the 49ers and the jaguars i'm holding two separate thoughts in my head one is that uh the line is very disrespectful to the jaguars there are three point underdogs at home being six and two it's a little disrespectful especially considering that the niners lost three in a row i'm holding that thought in my head but the other thought that I have in my head is that the Jaguars might be fraudulent well so I don't think they're fraudulent but well you got to be consistent because if you look at their no I was gonna say it I was about to say it so I don't think they're fraudulent but I also think that you can definitely do the tier system with them where the last four wins have been the Falcons, the Bills, the Colts, the Saints, and they looked very bad against the Chiefs. And if you ask yourself, are the Niners closer to the Falcons, Bills, Colts, and Saints? Are they closer to the Chiefs? I would say they're closer to the Chiefs.
And the Steelers, right? And the Steelers, yeah. Yeah.
I was just saying their last four games. Oh, yeah, the Steelers are there too.
The Steelers was October 29th. Yeah.
Yeah. So their best win of the season was the Bills.
Yeah. We can agree on that.
That was in England. And the Bills might stink.
And the Bills might stink and travel was an issue. So to be consistent, we have to say that if they lose this game, we have to call the Jaguars frauds.
The problem is it's the Dol the dolphins are bigger frauds because dolphins lost the pills yeah there's levels to this shit man and the uh the dolphins blowing out the the broncos and scoring 70 points yeah that probably adds to their fraud resume if they blow out a bad team like that um i'm just saying like with the jaguars they don't play that many tough opponents this year. No, I know.
I had the same thought where I was just like, wait,

the Niners are going to be the closest thing the Niners have,

or the Niners is the Chiefs,

and the Jaguars really struggled in that game.

They only scored nine points.

That's Crisco.

That's why.

Yeah.

The schedule.

The schedule is everything.

The schedule is everything.

They play the Bengals eventually.

They play the Texans.

Yeah, I'm cool.

Put them on fraud watch.

You commence.

And then the Ravens, and then besides that, they've got to – I'm just saying we should. Yeah.
We should put them on fraud watch. I like it.
They haven't done anything to really earn that. It's just that they haven't played anybody.
No, they're on fraud watch. And if the Niners go into their house and beat them, I think we have to talk about it.
If the Niners lose this game, do they go to fraud watch? This might be the fraud bowl. But I don't think since they've lost so many in a row I don't know if they're frauds they might just be broken they're broken yeah it's outside of the Cowboys win the Niners have only beaten the Steelers Rams Giants and Cardinals those are not sorry Steelers fans like your team's got a winning record but yeah congratulations you've got a winner yeah you get it I'm okay with doing a fraud bowl on this.
Yeah, there's a fraud bowl. But the Niners, I think we can say they're broken.
Can they put it back together? Yeah. Because at one point it felt like they weren't frauds.
Basically, if you beat the Chiefs, you're not frauds. I agree.
I agree with that. Lions are going to be going to the end of the season being like, we're not frauds, we beat the Chiefs.
Okay, nerd nugget. Yeah, first off, I have a reminder from last week but the jags were on a bye to respect doug peterson as a head coach no okay all right we will i'll do that all right noted um six trevor lawrence big cat do you know how many touchdowns he has this year seven he's got nine oh which it still isn't that much no they don't they don't pass the ball for touch cj has 14.
Also, this season, the 49ers offense has gained at least four yards on 56% of their first down plays, most in the league. So that's crazy.
More than half the times they're gaining at least four. That's pretty good.
It's really good. This is what I struggle with this all the time, PFT, the stats when you get later in the season because you think you're like, oh, it's still

early in the season.

No, it's week 10. Yeah.
Nine touchdowns in week 10 is not a whole lot. It's not good.
No. So, yeah, that is a little shocking because you know how that happens where you're like, no, it's still.
If you ask, you're like, yeah, we're still early in the season. Season just started.
The league leader is Tua with 19. yeah there's uh if you went just on touchdown passes he is 20th that's how i do my power rankings of quarterbacks who has the most touchdown passes yeah sometimes you got to go backwards and make the stats be way dumber yeah don't listen to the sam schwarzteens of the world all the time yeah josh jobs has 10 elite elite.
Okay. This game's going to be awesome, though.
I'm excited. Fraud ball.
Next game, Browns at Ravens. Ravens defense.
Two best defenses in the league, maybe? I would say so, actually. Yeah, I agree.
This division game, always tough. AFC North.
I don't know. I think it was a little misleading, the Browns killing the Cardinals because the Cardinals are that bad.
They didn't run the ball that great. And so we've it's been Jedrick Wills week after Monday.
I said, you know, they're they're all star or whatever. I said they're they're great offensive lineman.
Browns fans corrected me rightfully so. But now the Browns don't have the two tackles they started the season with because jack conklin went out in week one now you have weird situation where they're talking about flipping the guys because they have a rookie on uh the right side that might move them to the left side james hudson who's going to come in go to the right side i think there's gonna be a problem for the browns i think like once you get these you know a couple injuries the depth issue on the offensive line if you don't like jedrick wills that's fine but once you get lower in the depth chart it's like well kind of wish we still had jedrick wills i agree the strategy last week was stefanski was to run the ball as much as possible average 2.8 they didn't do well yeah yeah there was i think one player had like 13 rushes for 2.9 yards per carry.
The other guy had like 13 rushes for 2.6 or something like that. They didn't run it effectively.
They just did a good amount, enough to keep the Cardinals off the field as much as possible. And I feel like the Browns, like Amari Cooper's been great.
And that connection looks like they had a couple deep shots. I don't know if the Browns, like to beat this Ravens defense, I think you have to have multiple weapons that can...
Because I think they can key on Amari Cooper. I like the Ravens in this game.
Also, congratulations to Keaton Mitchell for officially becoming a Raven. You don't have to do that.
Roquan Smith says you have to beat the Steelers. I also think there's another way you can be a Raven, and that's just be added to the injury report randomly.
Yeah. You you got a hamstring.
One of the guys. That's like, it's like, oh, you're now a Raven.
You had a great game, but you're also kind of injured. Soft tissue damage.
Yeah. It's Lamar returning to the AFC.
He just finished his barnstorming tour of the AFC that he does. And, God damn, if the NFC, if Lamar Jackson wasn't a thing, is that utopia meme? Yeah.
That's what it is. He loves to kick the shit out of the NFC.

The AFC's been kicking the shit out of the NFC overall, too, though.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

That's a trend that we're looking at?

It's like 65% or something.

It makes sense.

I love rooting for conferences.

Yeah, it makes sense.

I mean, we keep talking about who's going to get the seventh seed in the NFC.

Yeah, it does.

There's a lot of really good teams in the AFC.

So I like the Ravens.

I think that the Ravens are the best team in football right now. Yeah.
I would stake my reputation on that, which is pristine. Yeah.
It's – yeah, I mean, the Ravens are playing great ball. I think there's just too much – I know DTR was the starter last time these two teams played, and he's not an NFL starter, so you can kind of throw out that score but I think the Ravens are just humming right now and they know they gotta they gotta like AFC North is not easy you can't take people were talking oh trap game because Thursday night they play against the Bengals I don't know I think the Ravens know that like they're now playing for the one seed like it's kind of shifted here you know so you can't take a game off I am going to be basing the rest of my season's takes on Deshaun Watson off how he performs in this game.
I just want to make that very fair, but it's fat. Well, I think it's fair because the Ravens defense is really fucking the Ravens defense is good.
And also Deshaun Watson. This feels like he should be healthy at this point.
Yeah, like fully, fully healthy. Nerd nugget.
The Raven Ravens have allowed just 10 points per game at home this season. They've only also allowed two touchdowns from scrimmage at home.
Whoa. Whoa.
Okay. Next game, Texans and Bengals.
I'm excited for this game. Jamar Chase most likely out? That's maybe not the case because I saw that he came out.
He was wearing a jersey and pads for practice. Oh, okay.
T Higgins. I think he's probably out because he was not dressed for practice.
Yes. So both are kind of toss ups.
Yeah. And we saw it when Jamar Chase took that when he fell trying to catch that ball.
And I think I think Collins were said right away. He's like, oh, he's not going to be able to walk tomorrow with that back.
And that's exactly what happened. So now we have the Texans, the upstart Texans.
I think Texans are going to be live in this game. Yeah.
The other thing is Lou Anarumo. Yeah.
Defensive coordinator. Coach Lou.
For the Bengals, Coach Lou. Him going up against a rookie quarterback, I think I'm going to go with Coach Lou on this.
Oh. I do like C.J.
Stroud, but I'm gonna go with the angry italian in this game i was also very impressed with the bengals home crowd last week yeah bills the fact that they were able to be organized enough to sit in their sections because they did tiger stripe stadium yeah where uh one section was black one section orange that shows a lot of discipline that rocks that's a that's a promising sign for that fan base so yeah i'm gonna go with the big angry italian lou amaruno lou amarillo ru amoro listen i can say this big lou as a as an italian father sometimes italians have names that what i am i'm an italian father father my children listen are a quarter ital. I am.
I am. I have a shirt.
It says proud Italian father. I am 1% Sicilian, so I can say this.
Big Lou is going to put them in big trouble. Big trouble.
Big trouble. I just think that we'll see with Tee Higgins, Jamar Chase.
I think the Texans, they finally did the thing where, like, oh, CJ Stroud's really good.

Maybe we don't have to run the ball on first down every single time.

Maybe we should let him just be a baller.

So I think they're going to keep – I think the Bengals are going to win the game.

I think the Texans will cover the spread.

If we forget, if we, like, men in black ourselves and completely ignore the first three weeks of the season,

the Bengals are probably right there in the conversation for yeah best team in the nfl oh absolutely yeah i did a halftime future on them against the 49ers at 22 to 1 i was like this they're back as soon as joe burrow ran one time i was like they're back they're back and they're the scariest team they they they've proven it they're the it's it's weird because obviously they haven't won a super bowl but i still think they the scariest team. If you ask the Chiefs, who do you not want to play in the last week of January, it's the Bengals.
Absolutely. Except for that jabroni mayor.
Shout out Travis Kelsey. Okay, Nerd Nugget.
Last week, Bengals quarterback Joe Burrow played in his 50th regular season game among all quarterbacks in NFL history through 50 games. Burrow is second in completions, first in completion percentage, and fifth in passing yards.
Okay. He's good at football.
He's one of the best 50-game players ever. He's good at football.
Okay, next up, Packers-Steelers. Yuck.
I think that this is the week for the Steelers. To lose.
I think, no, I think they're going to outgain their opponent. They might lose.
They still might lose. They might outgain them.
But they might outgain the Packers this week. So, George Pickens has been doing some stuff on social media.
Mike Tomlin had to address it in a press conference. He was asked.
He said, it's like a pebble in my shoe. Pebbles in your shoe are very annoying.
Yeah. Was he trying to say it was not a big deal? Yeah.
But I was like, wait. No, pebble in your shoe is bad.
Pebble in your shoe is like, you have to stop take off your shoe and be like, oh, there's a pebble in my shoe. Yeah.
It's a serious issue. Yeah.
If untreated, it leads to an infection. It's like a pee underneath my mattress.
Mm-hmm. What is that? What is that? The princess and the pee.
Princess and the pee. Yeah.
George Pickens. I feel like that's not going great.
Yeah. So he unfollowed a lot of his teammates on Instagram.
He scrubbed his Instagram of references to the Steelers. Najah Harris had a word with him about it, and they talked.
The two of them talked, and then Pickens addressed the media. He said, I don't mix social media and football.
I was just clearing out my page. To be honest, it had nothing to do with the Steelers.
Nothing. So he might be right, though, if he's calling his teammates out for just posting weak shit on Instagram.
This is you're posting bad content. I'm going to unfollow you.
This is the new excuse. Whenever someone deletes everything and they're like, no, I'm just living my life.
It's the new I just got a smoothie and I don't know how these steroids got in my system excuse. Yeah.
This one is it's a little bit harder to track. But I think at the end of the day, he's saying like, Kenny Pickens doesn't post fire pics on Instagram.
Right. Like, when was the last time you cleaned out your Instagram? Never.
It's been a while. Yeah.
But maybe he's just like a social media connoisseur, and he just realizes that his teammates aren't that great at it. Why am I following this guy? Just because he's my teammate? No.
You want to follow people that you care about. People whose content is fire.
Post yeah exactly perfect booties lebron james yeah did he post that or he just liked he liked it when he was zero dark 30 23 uh that to me that's a that's an indictment of his teammates his teammates need to step their instagram game up a little bit yeah uh i so the only reason i kind of like the packers in this game is the weakness for the Packers is they start insanely slow in every game. We had the stat a couple weeks ago where they had five straight games where they did not score a first-half touchdown.
Guess what? The Steelers don't exactly jump on opponents. No, Kenny Pickens is Mr.
Fourth Quarter. They keep it close.
I just feel like this is going to be a close game no matter what. Like, I can't see either team winning by more than three.
And now that I said that, one of these teams will blow out the other. At the end of the day, it's going to be a good uniform matchup at least.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Jake, Nerd Nugget. Mike Tomlin has guided the Steelers to a 12-4 record on nine days rest.
That's the best winning percentage. Second highest in the NFL since 2007.
Anybody. What happened with the best there? Iread oh no but still really good nine days rest yeah i mean did you meet did you see best or do you read what let's break down this situation read what's on my computer okay max can witness mike tomlin has guided the sealers to a 12 and 4 record on nine days rest pittsburgh 75 winning percentage under tomlin on nine days rest is the second highest in the NFL since 2000.
So best was never in there. Nope.
Damn. But it's still really good.
You went rogue. You saw best.
Yeah. You just jumped ahead to best.
Messed up. It's on me.
Man. Sorry, maybe you can just tag onto Hank's Notes app for the presentation he didn't come with.
I do like the mini-buy, though. Yeah, I like Tomlin on a mini-buy.lin he isn't he's a favorite which is not good but oh no i like their defense a lot i like the stealers defense the the back half of their defense is not the best yeah just get tj home yeah uh okay all protein bars generally taste the same but not one bars one made protein bars are actually delicious with Reese's and Hershey's.
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Oh, my there? What was that, Hank? Okay.

Back to the show.

I'm going to do an impression of Hank real quick.

Okay.

Next game.

Hank's eating his chicken shack.

Someone's got to do the shake shack chicken.

Someone's got to do the chicken dance.

Someone's got to do the chicken dance.

So do it.

Tweet your players.

Tweet your favorite players. Let's get it going uh okay next up tennessee at tampa bay we're slogging through yeah slogging through yeah um coaches really hate benching bad quarterbacks that's what i'm taking out of this week mike vrabel i think he cried when he said that he was gonna have to bench ryan tannahill yeah will levis kind of forced his hand that.
Will Levis is good. He is good.
Will Levis is good. Some people asked many questions.
First reported by Billy Football. Yeah, people asked many questions about Will Levis back in March saying, is he too weird and jacked up to be a good NFL quarterback? I think those questions have been put to bed.
Anybody who wrote those questions should be executed. Will Levis is just good.
He's just really good. And guess what? guess what the bucks may really stink although i think vita bay's back um jamel dean got a concussion you saw their secondary just completely evaporate when he went out against the texans uh this feels like yeah it's a line in the sand game yeah yeah i like i love the titans i almost said i liked them i love the titans there's a line in the sand game if tennessee wins they are thinking hey what was the lost season let's try to get to the playoffs if tim bay loses this game it's over i know it's never over in the nfc south but they stink stink that would be four or five straight losses? I think five.
This would also

this should be the start of Tractor Cito season.

It should be. Although it's warm weather.

It's mid-November. Down there.

But it's the season.

Tis the season for Tractor Cito.

Get Derrick Henry running the football.

Will Levis, at the very

least, if you're the Titans, you have a lot

to look forward to now. You've got a quarterback.

I know it's early. It's like he's played

one and a half games, basically.

I've seen enough. Will levis will be an elite quarterback yes uh okay nerd nugget speaking of derrick henry round number alert he needs 64 rushing yards to become the 38th player in nfl history for 9 000 career rushing round number alert i love i didn't know we had those i like that round numbers alert.
Fellas, you see a round number. Round number alert.
Big Cat's back at 260. Booty got me like...
64 yards on the ground. Yeah.
Give me a nice solid 1,000 fellas. 10,000.
10,000 gets it going. 10,000.
If you hit 10,000 of anything... Yeah.
I actually think 100,000 is better than 10,000. I know, but 10,000 seems attainable.
100,000 seems so like, you know, obviously money, you'd rather have 100,000, but 10,000 like things that you did, like I've taken 10,000 shots, 100,000 shots. Like, dude, you got a problem.
10,000 hours. You're an expert.
Yeah. Right.
It's a lot of yards. Remember Malcolm Gladwell wrote an entire book being like, hey, people who practice Get good at it Yeah it's crazy 10,000 hours Book over I've unlocked a secret Beethoven played a lot of music Before he got good Oh my god you'll never believe it Wayne Gretzky played 10,000 hours of hockey And then he was good It's crazy Also maybe I just didn't understand that book.
All right. Saints

and Vikings. Did you spend 10,000 hours reading it?

I did not. Okay.
Well, then you don't get it.

I will. Saints and Vikings.

Josh Dobbs. Learning

the players' teammates' names.

Saints.

Who the hell are they?

What a game. A lot of questions.

A lot of questions. I do love Vikings

fans shaving off their eyebrows in solidarity with Josh Dobbs.

You didn't see that from Cardinals fans.

Didn't see that from Jaguars fans, Steelers fans, Browns fans.

This feels like a place that could embrace Josh Dobbs.

Yeah.

I like Josh Dobbs.

I read a stat briefly.

I did not double check it.

So, Jake, maybe you can double check this.

Josh Dobbs is the second leading rusher in terms of all NFL quarterbacks. Whoa.
That's kind of crazy. Who's number one? That would be Lamar.
Lamar Jackson. Lamar Jackson is.
Josh Dobbs is also the reigning MVP. He got slimed this week.
Oh, nice. That was cool to see.
You can't watch Josh Dobbs play quarterback and not be happy. Yeah.
He's just like a nice little shot in the arm. I would like to to see Josh Dobbs get his forever home stay put maybe in Minnesota we'll see if it's a benefit of him learning his players learning the plays Kevin O'Connell doesn't have to like tell him what routes the receivers are running this week I have a dumb thought is it actually bad for Josh Dobbs to learn the plays yes too much information yes we saw it with the Cardinals.
He showed up at the Cardinals late summer. Had a nice September.
Maybe learned the offense too well. Fell off a cliff.
Yeah. I think that there's something to that.
You go out there, you don't know the guy's names. You're just playing.
Right. You're just playing backyard football.
At what point, maybe it's not this week, but the next week or the week after that, where it's like he actually knows the plays too well. I think we should start having the question, Big Cat.
Are the Minnesota Vikings better without Jordan Jefferson? He's not coming back. Justin.
What'd I say? We're loopy. We're loopy.
Jordan. Jettis.
Are the Minnesota Vikings better without Justin Jefferson?

No.

Not even close.

Tell me their win-loss record this year, Hank, with and without Justin Jefferson.

Factor fiction.

No.

Factor fiction.

Because I don't know what it is.

Well, they've won a lot more games without him.

And it's the dumbest question you could possibly ask, but we're going to talk about it.

Should they trade him?

He's not coming back until he's 100% from his hamstring.

Fair.

Yeah.

I agree with you.

I also feel like a guy who's that fast, you wait yeah because you'll just get hurt again agreed so i don't know i'm kind of feeling the saints in this game stupid stupid thoughts the coin has the saints the only reason i like the saints it really comes down to the fact that brian flores loves to blitz and derrick carr loves to just dump it off to alvin kam. It feels like a perfect marriage between the two.
He'll just be like, I'm going to bring an extra rusher, and Derek Carr's going to be like, oh, good, I wanted to throw it within three yards of the line of scrimmage anyway really quickly. So there he is.
Yep. It's set up nicely.
Okay, Nerd Nugget. First off, PFT, you are correct.
Josh Dobbs, 324 rushing yards. He's right ahead of Jalen Hurts with 316.
But Jalen Hurts isn't himself. He's not himself right now.
So Jalen Hurts from last year would be well ahead. Yeah.
And then Patrick Mahomes is right behind them. All right, so last week, Saints quarterback slash tight end Taysom Hill recorded his 10th career reception touchdown.
He's the fifth player in NFL history to have 10 passing, 10 receiving, and 10 rushing touchdowns.

The other four players are all in the Hall of Fame.

Whoa.

Wow.

Taysom Hill's Hall of Fame.

Future Hall of Fame.

Wow.

Yeah, I agree with that.

Yeah.

Also,

can't tell the story of football without Taysom Hill.

Right.

Also,

bonus nerd nugget.

Oh,

sound the alarm, Hank.

So,

rewinding back to Wednesday's episode,

there's a ton of drama

entering this weekend's NWSL final, which is Saturday night, 8 p.m. Eastern on CBS.
And I dove into this matchup between the OL Reign and Gotham FC. Rose Lavelle, recurring guest.
Yes. The GOAT queen.
She unfortunately has not scored yet this season. She's taking eight shots.
I'm calling my shot. She's scoring here in the championship game.
I like it. In the 90th minute.
We can bet that. Yeah.
If you thought college football was on the big screen this weekend, NWSL soccer. That's actually why I'm not going out.
Because you're going to watch NWSL? I'm going to bet that. I've got multiple screens.
Not to brag. I've got several TVs in my house.
I'm going to have this on. Yeah.
The one TV people are going big cat oh dude the one tv people like how many times i got done i think actually people are just doing it just because they want to get dunked on um but yeah it's crazy it's crazy that people can't figure it out like i am watching everything at all times i'm like the i'm like morgan freeman in batman at that room where it's just TVs everywhere. Every sport you can think of, I have it on.
I am watching. College basketball.
NBA. NWSL.
Also, this is right after the SEC on CBS 330 game, which is Tennessee-Mizzou. And this championship game is right after.
You don't even have to change the channel. Why you say the treadmill thing Hank I just remembered you talking about it I did put four TVs in my home gym and I have not been in my own yeah that was a follow-up well it was like hey just set it up as best as you can to try to work out and it still isn't sticking working out some it's hard it's hard Routines, rhythms.
Yeah, you know what I've started to do? Because I haven't had a lot of time to work out recently. I got a sauna.
So I just get in my sauna and I sweat for 15 minutes. And then I'm like, yeah, that was a workout.
I'm trying to beat Joe Rogan. I'll tell you what.
I'm going to start lying about how hot my sauna is. Yeah.
230 degrees, 45 minutes. That's my routine.
When we get the squat rack in this office, it's going to be like every space I ever occupy has workout gear, and I just don't do it. I could trip into workout stuff, equipment, and I still won't work out.
I think we talked about the bench press in the old studio for like four years before we got in the studio, and then we got the bench press. It was just Stephen Jay breathing heavy in our studio when I'd come in at like 10 a.m.

I think if you're in the same room as weights, that kind of counts as working out.

Yeah, you look at them.

Maybe just pick up one every now and then.

Yeah, because I think your body has a physiological response.

You looking at a heavyweight.

Yeah.

And it gets you in like workout mode, increases your heart rate.

It's like step up, like, all right, let's go.

Yeah.

Not actually.

I'm going to start, though, now that we're here.

No, you're not.

You can't even do a fucking presentation.

Thousand pound club.

Thousand pound club.

Max and I will be joining.

Yes.

I did get to like when I said I was going to do it last summer, I was like in the 850 range.

But then that's the range where I'm going to get hurt. I think I could do it right now oh could you no you can't what's your bench 24 hour stream i mean if you could deadlift 450 then yes you can you have to deadlift a ton i could probably deadlift trap bar we gotta do trap bar you keep saying that because straight bar is so much easier to get hurt.
Okay. So we'll do a trap bar.
Trap bar. I think I could do 400.
Okay. Right now? All right.
Max, what was the last time that you did a deadlift? College baseball. So no, you absolutely could not deadlift 400 pounds.
Actually, that's not true. That's not true.
That's not true. I forgot that I belonged to a nice gym in New York City that I was in a great powerlifting routine.
But Max, we will hold ourselves accountable. We will get to the 1,000-pound club.
By what day? Let's say New Year's 2024. New Year's 2024? Yeah, so that...
Two months? No, no. New Year's Day 2024 is like two months.
No, no. New Year's Eve 2024.
No, I'm going to say Memorial Day this year. New Year's Eve 2024.
Max, I'm with you. Memorial Day this year.
I'm going to be in such good shape. I'm going to have abs.
I'm going to be bench pressing 325. It's going to be sick.
Okay, next game. For the troops.
Great game. Afternoon game.
Lions at Chargers. I think the Lions are going to kill them.
I agree with you on this one lions are healthy finally their offensive line so they got uh frank rag now back jonah jackson back david montgomery back grim glasgow is gonna get i think he's gonna get the start yeah so they're they the strength of the lions offensive line is now healthy back off a bye week i I am... The Chargers...

The Chargers are not good.

I know that they beat the Jets. I know they've won a couple

games in a row. They beat the Bears.
Who cares?

Everyone beats the Bears.

I don't think the Chargers

are that good.

I don't think they are either.

So I do think Justin Herbert

is a good quarterback. He's a fine young man.

Good quarterback.

Does he have the dog? Actually, I'll put it to you a different way, Big Cat. If you told Justin Herbert that there was a button that he could press, and if he presses the button, the Chargers win the Super Bowl, but somebody dies, do you think he presses the button? Yes.
I don't think he presses the button. I think he presses the button.
I don't think he's the kind of guy that would press the button. I want a quarterback that would press the button.
I don't even think it's a Justin Herbert issue. So they've beaten, their wins are the Vikings when they were bad, which they won by four.
I mean, the Vikings are playing well now. The Raiders, the Bears, the Jets.
I think it's actually more of a, the Chargers are going off a little bit of reputation with their offense and now that both you lost Mike Williams what week three or whatever it was Josh Palmer's now out it's like okay Keenan Allen's really good Austin Eckler's really good who after that and so I think that we think oh yeah the Chargers offense it's electric they got all these guys i don't i don't think they have that many guys right now so i like the lions in this game their defense isn't that great they're not as good as they looked against the jets right that's for sure and going from the jetzo line to the um to the lions offensive line is going to be a completely different type of football yeah yeah all right i do i do like the Lions this week. All right.
Nerd Nugget. There are 59 defensive players with at least four sacks in the NFL this season.
Only the Chargers and Dolphins have four players in that group. Okay.
Okay. Falcons and Cardinals.
Kyler Murray back. He's playing.
Kyler 2.0. Beta comes out this weekend.
I knew he was going to play. Yeah.
I knew he was going to play. He wants to play.
I don't know if he wants to have his job as a Cardinals starting quarterback for the future, but he wants to play. Football players play.
But maybe the best way for him to not be a Cardinal in the future is to play and play well for the Cardinals. Yes.
Yes. Well, no.
If he plays and plays well, he will be the Cardinals future. But he also might be very attractive in a trade.

But if he plays well enough that they don't have the first pick,

then he will most likely be okay.

It's going to come down to whether or not the owner bid well.

It feels like paying him all that money or wants to try to roll the dice. No, remember, yeah, he gave him a contract.

No, I know.

I'm saying that's why he would potentially trade him away.

Yes, yes.

This game, for me, the entire analysis is the line makes no sense because it was one and a half cardinals are one and seven i think they're one and a half point dogs the falcons they're begging you take the falcons i feel like you have to even though i think kyler mario be rusty it just it makes no sense to me in my head. Do you think Kyler knows his teammates' names? Yes.
I do. I think he probably does.
James Conner, maybe not back right now, but coming back soon? Close. Soon.
He's getting closer. Soon-ish.
I do. I like Taylor Heineke in this game.
Gotta get it done. Gotta get it done.
Falcons need to win bad. Has Arthur Smith officially, officially benched Desmond Desmond Ritter or is it still like this is not a performance-based benching yeah I think you just play like you're hurt so we're gonna put Taylor in the game I think he's in the same category as Bijan yeah it's like we could play him but we're not going to doghouse yeah uh nerd nugget in this game Cardinals wide receiver Marquise Brown has a touchdown catch in all four home games this season if he gets gets one again this week, he would join Mal Kuttner, Larry Fitzgerald, and Amquan Bolden.
And Sonny Randall is the only players in franchise history with a touchdown catch in five straight home games. Wow.
People always talk about the Cardinals franchise history. Larry Fitz.
Larry Fitz. Is he retired? Yes.
Officially, officially. Maybe not officially, officially.
Okay. This one, Giants and Cowboys.
I just wrote down in my notes, Tommy DeVito, what are we doing here? Yeah, so this is the Tommy DeVito. Tommy DeVito definitely presses the button.
He would kill everybody. Tommy DeVito is the human white flag, we can say.
It's going to be bad. If you a Giants fan and you you have no other plan but Tommy DeVito what purpose do you have for waking up on Sunday it's it's very rare in the NFL you see like spreads over 14 it happens probably a handful times a year uh and I actually think like the Cowboys minus 17 is too low because I just don't know.
The Cowboys' defense, this is what the Cowboys do. They kick the shit out of teams like this.
They are going to demolish the Giants. Yeah, this is going to be bad.
It's going to be really bad for Giants fans. I feel sick knowing that you have to watch this, knowing that we have to watch this game.
It's disgusting disgusting it's disgusting that we have to do this is brian dable on the hot seat he won coach of the year last year but this has gone bad very quickly and we already have i think i saw uh one of the giants defensive players called out wink martin nail like by name and and he was like, that's never happened.

That's weird.

Would you rather be the coach of the Giants and you're going into the Cowboys game with Tommy DeVito

or would you rather be the offensive coordinator

for the Buffalo Bills?

Last year, the Giants were fun,

and I don't think that Dable became a bad coach.

That doesn't happen overnight.

No.

He was a good coach last year.

No, but it spiraled fast, and it's more... Maybe's just fire the gm for giving daniel jones all that money because now what like the giants we we've done our bleakest draft and it was the panthers last week when we were talking about how they don't have picks and bryce young doesn't look like the guy the giants might have taken the place for the panthers because they paid daniel jones all money, and now he has a torn ACL.
And it's like the roster needs help everywhere, and how the hell are you going to get help everywhere? And now Saquon's going to be expected to do everything on Sunday. I feel bad for Saquon more than anybody else.
Fake an injury, Saquon. Yes.
Be sick. Get food poisoning.
Get diarrhea. Yeah.
Yeah. You should find the nearest muddy pond and just fill up a pint glass with it and chug it until you poop.
Yes. Okay.
Nerd Nugget. The first half has been a major concern for the Giants this year.
Outscored 125-42. In nine games, they've only had two first-half leads.
It's crazy that this game, what was the line in this game week one? Was it like Cowboys minus three? I forget. It feels like ages ago.
It was a different team, too, at the time. Of course.
Of course. We were going into it being like, but the Cowboys killed them in that game.
That, I think, what was it, 40 to nothing? 40 to nothing in week one? Was that what it was? It was either 30 or 40 because I remember they played Giants and Jets back-to-back, right? Or first few weeks. Three points.
The Cowboys were three-point favorites week one. They're 17-point favorites week 10.
Life comes at you fast. Real fast.
Okay. Last afternoon game, Commanders at Seahawks.
I said some shit about Geno Smith. I said I was done with him.
I have a bad update.

I'm backing on Geno Smith for the week. I did some soul searching with my Geno Smith.
I'm done with him. I am done with him in a, like, he's never going to win a Super Bowl.
That was, I think I probably should have been done with him for that a long time ago. but I'm going to give Gino a slight pass

in the fact that he did play the Browns and the Ravens. And those are the two best defenses in the NFL.
And they're the two best defenses at playing man coverage, which always kills Geno. So I expect a big bounce back week from Geno this week.
Yeah, I think it's fair to say that this is a very winnable game for the Seahawks. Yes.
And Geno could look good against the secondary, which has had a lot of questions. Most of which is predicated on the pass rush and the whole scheme of just sending four guys at the quarterback and hoping that they get home for the commanders.
And it worked against the Patriots because the Patriots are anemic on offense. Yeah.
Now you have to play the Seahaw have a lot of talent so yeah i think the seahawks get right in this game yeah and um i i have reached the point with sam howell if you look at the last i think four games that he's played he is uh statistically in the top five in most important categories in his most recent games oh so um sam howell i'm i'm fully in sam howell is the guy he's the future if he has a stinker of a game this weekend out in seattle i'm i'm willing to just say okay uh learning opportunity the last time he had a shitty game was against the bills where he threw those four interceptions yep and um he learned a lot from those and tough game so i actually saw that sam howell has stopped taking sacks in the last like four weeks he's had um like a huge improvement i think he was by far the worst quarterback through the first few games of the season i think through the first uh five games of the season he was taking all kinds of sacks that he shouldn't be taking and um since then he's become a top five in terms of getting the ball out not taking sacks that are his for sam how so he's learning the guy's learning i love sam sam howl i am i'm sold as sam on sam howl as the future the one thing that could ruin sam howl washington no just the vibes if not eating beef if the commanders hire bill belichick according to hank that would ruin sam howl he takes a step back in coaching from ron rivera coaching yeah that's fair the one thing you have to be afraid of if you're a competitor. That's fair.
And, I mean, I'll be totally honest. It is all according to Hank, by the way.
False. I think Belichick will be fine coaching Sam Howell.
Hank disagrees. Hank knows Belichick better than us.
99% of the reason I want Bill Belichick is just to fuck with Hank. It has nothing to do with what's going to happen on the football field.
I just want to fuck with you. And it would be great for the show.
It would be great for the show. But yeah, Sam Howell, regardless of what happens this weekend,

I'm ready to say it.

He is the guy.

Yeah, I agree with you.

Nerd Nugget.

Washington loves Seattle.

The Commanders have a 7-1 record on the road against the Seahawks.

They're 13-6 all time.

Whoa.

Willie Compton's not walking through that door, though.

We're not talking about playoffs, though, are we?

I think it's regular season.

We've lost two playoff games in Seattle in the last 20 years.

All the time. Whoa.
Willie Compton's not walking through that door, though. We're not talking about playoffs, though, are we?

Because I know for a fact it's regular season. We've lost two playoff games in Seattle in the last 20 years.

Also, baby bump.

Baby bump.

John Bates, backup tight end for Washington.

That was a baby bump.

That was a key bump, Hank.

Yeah, maybe quit dumping sack and start dumping some PowerPoints together.

Well, maybe if you dump sack, you'd get the PowerPoint done. That's true.
Here's your formal reminder. I do pill sack.
I think PFC got him in already. Yep, I got him in.
He's plus 900. He hasn't scored this season, but he got some targets.
Well, he scored at least once. He just had a baby.
But it wasn't this season. True.
Yeah. Fair points all around.
True around true yeah it was Mexican standoff of true

okay so yeah Bates um he's a long shot to score definitely this is a good I guess test case for whether or not the baby bump is real because he's the backup tight end doesn't get a lot of red zone targets if he scores this weekend uh it is it's pretty clear that the baby bump is an actual thing okay last. Last game.
Night game. The Jets at Raiders.
I got to say the stat, the sad stat again. This will be the 34th night game for the Jets and Giants since 2018.
They are combined 4-29 straight up. Joke.
That's crazy. Joke.
Retreat. 2-25 straight up in their last 27 night games.
Yeah, it's bad. It's bad.
At least they're playing the Raiders. I liked Antonio Brown's.
Pierce. Pierce.
Antonio Pierce's. Loopy.
We're loopy. The speech that he gave where he was just saying that they're going to play against a bunch of physical gentlemen this weekend.
Yeah. I believe that was his phrase.
The Jets are physical gentlemen. Yeah, they are.
For sure. but that's major interim coach vibes yes they give a quote like that so I like I like that the Raiders are just I'm gonna bet on them based on vibes their vibes seem high Jets vibes seem low I feel like last week was the vibes game this week might be the what is Antonio Pierce doing game yeah which mean, I do think that they should put a different interim coach every week.

Yeah.

Just get reduced.

Just keep getting the vibes.

And so they smoke cigars after the game.

Yep.

Is that the lowest bar ever reached for cigar smoking, beating Tommy DeVito?

It has to be, right?

But it's also for getting rid of Josh McDaniels. Right right that's really what the immediate is beating tommy devito being like we smoked him let's smoke these cigars like smoke cigars like alabama tennessee new baby you know maybe like hole in one uh your white house intern just hung out in the oval office for a while all these things are higher than beating tomm.
Yeah, it is a pretty low bar. It's a low bar.
But you got to celebrate your wins any way you can. Yeah.
So I think the Jets are going to win this game. Memes, Connor.
What's up? What are you thinking? I think the Jets win this one. Yeah.
Yeah. Memes.
Follow-up question. Which game did you not thought? Part of my take.
Follow-up question. If the Jets are getting their asses kicked, do you have the Twitter password written down somewhere so you won't lose it again? I do have it written down.
Okay. And I'll be in office.
Memes. So Wi-Fi should be good.
Memes. Follow-up question.
Follow-up question. Big Cat.
Part of my take. We're going to probably be taping during this game.
Can you see a TV from your seat? I can see a TV from my seat. Okay.
Thank God. Thank God.
I still don't understand why we have the R. Kelly TV up there.
I think that should be on our side. What is that? If that's possible.
Why is that? It was a small TV. That was designed, and we're going to have to get a picture of this.
Was that for Zoom? Yeah. What? That was for Zoom? Yeah.
That looks like a security cam television. It's a 12-inch TV.
Yeah, if you're sitting in a parking garage and you're keeping security overnight, you sit there and you just watch your little TV. It's a Michael Scott TV.
Yeah. Like when you walk in the CVS and you see the security.
Yeah. Yeah.
Like that. It should be blurry.
It should be stop motion. That was supposed to be for Zoom.
What the fuck? I thought there was. So is this one going to stay? Is this one going to stay right in front of us? I think so.
We got to get the social corner going. I don't want to.
I mean, we're. The tech guys are still.
Don't let us settle. No, we're not.
I want to settle bad. No, you know me.
I'm like, we're done. No, we need.
We need to. No, no, no.
We might be done. If this if this stays here, if this stays here for long enough.
Yes. I'm talking like five more days.
it's just gonna be i'm gonna fall in love with it like i'm gonna be pissed when you try the zoom maybe maybe like it like if we get like 4k i listen i didn't get my car fixed in the first three days after i ran it into your pool my car is just gonna be like that yeah when you keep something and it just stays and it's it's like part of our existence yeah i don't want to change it like the lenny dykstra poster that's just sitting not hung up i never want that hung up it's perfect where it's at it's really you only have like maybe a week no but so we feel i feel settled in don't you pft this is where we live i feel so settled in once the rug gets put down then we'll have a that Wait, there's a new rug? Yeah, we have a sick blue rug. Yeah, it's going to be a nice rug.
What do you think about the walls in the booth? I don't like change. Walls in the booth are disgusting.
They're empty. Yeah, you guys should put some shit up there.
Yeah, I told him I was going to put up my hole-in-one certificate. No, we...
I will smash it if it's up there. No, we need...
Wait, Jake, you got a certificate for your hole-in-one? Yeah. It's hanging out in my fridge right now.
Yeah, do not. Jake, all right.
I can't be held responsible for this. If I ever see that thing, I will smash it.
So you have to make sure I never see it. Like, if you invite me to your house one time, you put it in the closet.
Maybe like a rack of ties right there, Jake. That'd be cool.
Yeah, I do have that. No.
What do you guys think? No, you can put up something. Something that's funny that the people will like.
Okay. Maybe.
Well, no. The Lenny Dyk shirt.
That has to stay. That really puts together the whole room sitting in the corner.
I don't know. We'll find something.
I think it should be. I can put the sweatpants up there.
I think it should be a giant montage of Max's most sad moments. That would be cool.
I like it. A giant calendar? There's enough to choose from.
Oh, should we release a start i have an idea oh wait wait jake idea alert anytime you guys say write a reminder there's a physical reminder we tried the big calendar once we made it one week yeah never mind scratch it no big calendars suck they this. We'll put it on the, was it on the calendar? Put it on the calendar.
Fuck that. I think if Jake was in charge of the calendar, though, that it would be.
I won't respect the calendar, though. That's the problem.
You have to have a mutual respect. Every time I tell you guys a reminder, you're like, screw it.
Right, and I don't like to see my reminders. I want to be surprised by my reminders.
Like, I had no idea we had to respect Doug Peterson as a coach today. That was only like five weeks ago.
Again I had no idea. Jake I don't know what I did yesterday.
This is all a blur. Every football season is just one big blur.
Yeah we got to find something good. Maybe a poster.
Or merch. Merch, poster.
Maybe some hot chicks. Maybe we do part of my take player of the week.
What about the pink Floyd butts?

College it up.

Do the kiss.

Yeah, Bob Marley.

Boondock Saints poster.

Yeah, John Belushi with the college.

Yeah, that'd be good.

Really, really, really try to, you know,

make everyone think we're really cool.

A couple 40-year-olds with Bob Marley posters.

Yeah, we burn.

You guys burn?

Look at this.

Look at this view right now, PFT.

We are so settled in.

I think it's a way to fix that. If you don't go up, I have to.
There's a way to fix it. How did we get here? What do you mean? Right here on the podcast? We're talking about the podcast.

Because we're loopy and we're just talking about things we're seeing.

Hank, I like that, though, because it actually makes you have to do something.

I'm always doing stuff.

What does Hank do?

He clicks the remote every-

He presses another button.

Every 20 minutes.

Hank literally has a job that could be done by one of those birds with the water.

It just dips over. You should set that up, Hank.
You should automate it with the bird. Have you guys seen that bird on TikTok that just says materials? What? What? I don't know why.
I think about it all the time. That's what's going on in your brain? Is it just a bird? Yes.
It pecks at something. It'll be like glass.
It it'll be like metal and it just says what the material is it's sick what you gotta send that to me i'd like to see that should also be a segment max explaining tiktoks yeah oh i thought you're gonna say max telling us what metals there are this weekend there was max licking objects and telling us what they're made of this weekend i, I was just like randomly, it would just pop into my head and I would say

out loud metal because that's what the bird sounds like.

You got a lot going on up there.

Okay.

Did we do a nerd nugget on this game?

No, but this is my nerd nugget of the week.

I think if you're listening, like Colts, Patriots, Jets, Raiders, two of the best previews ever

done in podcasting.

You feel super informed going into this.

It's like we try to make you smarter as a football fan.

Yes.

Yeah, Nernstok not going to be totally unbiased. Raiders punter.
AJ Cole averaged 64 yards per punt last week with a minimum of four punts. That's the highest average in NFL history.
Oh, that's pretty good. Best punting game ever.
A.J. Cole, write that down for Boomers.
Five times. A.J.
Cole. Okay, gotcha.
What about Thomas Morstead the other day? I don't know, but it wasn't a 64-yard average. I understand, but that's also field position.
That is a high average. I'm just going to have to dig into this nerd nugget for a second.
So far, I'm starting with like an A-grade, but I need to let me see. You know who I miss is Marquette King, the old putter for the Raiders.
He shouldn't have noogied Mark Davis. I know.
That was bad. All right.
I'm looking it up right now. Thomas Morstead in that game, the Giants and the Jets.
Let's see. Punts, kicking, punting.
Thomas Morstead. Yeah, but keep in mind, they whomped the Giants, so it didn't really.
Yeah, see, all right, it's going down to B+. Okay.

I like it, Jake.

Anytime you say in NFL history, I'm going to be impressed.

Set a single-game NFL record.

But Thomas Morissette had 11 punts for 529 yards,

so it's 48.1 average and four inside the 20.

So if they're punting.

Three inside the five.

It does depend on where you kick from. Right, so it's a good.'s a B plus.
It's a good. Yeah, I'll take it.
That's your nerd nugget of the week. Okay.
Last game. Let's do some picks.
Is everyone muted? Yeah. I want to show everyone this bird.
Oh, he's going to show us the bird. Hell, yes.
Wait. I thought I was.
Oh, did you say everyone? You thought thought he's i know i said that to the booth because we could talk no we heard everything you said we heard you fart too i'm sorry i'm sorry next show us the bird show us the fucking bird no don't cut it show us the bird We'll just hear it. What's this small cup made of?

What's this made of?

Alas, what's this made of?

Yeah, all right.

So this is the look into Max's brain.

He's like, this is the greatest video ever.

You have to watch it.

It's cool.

I can tell I want to kill that bird.

I sent it to you. You can see it.

What's this made of?

Hollow tip.

Yeah, that's right, bitch.

Last thing you see. All right.
Cyanide. Okay.
Let's do some games. Let's pick some games.
Let's do some records. Yeah.
Who goes first? Hank? No, I think Jake. Oh, me.
Yeah. So first up, Pancakes.
Yes.

We are getting in a tight race right now. Hank is still dominating

with 34. And then Big Cat

and Max with 21. Okay.

Memes with 20. And me and PFT

with 18. Oh, I like it.
So it's wide

open right now. Fuck.

Yeah. What do you want? Not to

lose? Just, yeah. It's getting tight.

What do you mean? But Hank's dominating. And what's the punishment again? 0-3-6-12-18-24.
Yeah, the pancakes as it goes. Placement.
Do I have anyone injured? Yeah, we did say one ad drop. I'll redo your roster.
That's not going to help. Yeah, on the fly.

No, no, I'm just saying it's not going to – I don't know.

I'm not sure.

I think Ezra Cleveland, did he just get traded?

Yeah.

Yep, he did.

Is that a real person?

We know.

We know this.

We know he got – yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it sounds like a –

Trade from Vikings to Jaguars.

Yeah, that's why I said yes. For a football talk.
Yeah. He's on the Jaguars now.
Yeah, exactly. Got to trade from the Vikings.
Yeah. Yeah.
Trade from Vikings to Jaguars. What's his surprise? Yeah.
That's why I said yes.

For a football talk.

Yeah.

He's on the Jaguars now.

Yeah, exactly.

Trade from the Vikings.

Right.

His name does sound like a 90s sitcom character.

How does he not play for the Browns?

It's all looking to the injury updates.

Okay.

Yeah.

Let us know about the injuries.

All right.

And then the other.

Yeah.

For the picks, halfway home for the opening act, 15 minutes in Las Vegas. I'm 10-7-1.
Max is 10-8. Memes is 8-10.
So two and a half from top to bottom. Pretty even.
For the main event, you guys, one hour. Big Cat, 10-6-2.
PFT, 10-8. Hank, 7-10-1.
Oh. There's a little distance there.
Still 18 picks left. Oh, no.
Oh, Hank. You can even do a PowerPoint presentation.
You got to do points, by the way. And you got to do an hour, maybe? We got to start doing it.
Start rating it by points. Okay.
11, 10, 7.5 for you guys. Okay.
That makes more sense. And then 10.5, 10, 8 for us.
Okay. That makes more sense.
Because I can't do records. Yeah.
I'll start doing points. I'm like, how much am I up? Yeah.
All right. You're in trouble.
Yeah, but I'm on my Joe Burrow shit. That's when I turn it on.
He turned it on like three weeks ago. I thought you were going to turn it on in September.
You couldn't even find your computer for a week. All right, Jake, go ahead.
I'm going to take the Cleveland Browns plus six and a half at the Ravens. Okay.
It's a close game. I have seen North.
Everyone's good. I will be taking the Jaguars plus three.
Oh, I got the 49ers. Okay.
I will be taking the over in the Lions Chargers game over 48 and a half. Okay.
Hank? Hank? I will be taking the Patriots plus two and a half. Oh, back in the saddle.
Plus two. Two and a half.
I'm looking at two and a half right now. Same.
Stop trying to cheat me, Jake. We got different lines.
Are you on the Barstool sportsbook i am at barstool sportsbook.com score i'm on the barstool sports it's two and a half it's two and a half on the barstool sports you didn't refresh got a refresh i pulled this tab up at the beginning of the show oh come on jake they knew hank was going to change his pick all right i'm going to go with the commanders seahawks over 44 and a Okay. I'm going to go with the Dallas Cowboys minus 17.
I love it. Yeah, I'm doing it.
I love it. I love it.
I love it. And then it's me again? Yeah.
Against the Giants. Yes, against the Giants.
Thank you. I'm going to go with the Falcons Cardinals over 43 and a half points.
Okay. I will take the Detroit Lions minus three.
I will be taking the Steelers Packers over. What is it? Yuck.
38 and a half. Yuck.
You got to yuck. You got to yuck.
You got to yuck. Memes.
Did somebody take the Niners? No. Max took the Jags.
This could be a huge head-to-head matchup. It could pull the trigger.
Oh, boy. Are you doing it? Niners minus three.
Wow, that's huge for our warm-up act. Huge.
Wow. I will be taking the Texans-Bengals over.

Oh, I like it.

Where are we at?

Texans-Bengals.

I'm looking at 46.

46.5.

Okay, and Jake finishes off.

I'm going to take Titans-Bucks over 39.5.

Will Levis.

He can put up 40 on his own.

Okay.

Good job, boys. Should we do some fantasy fuckboys? Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. What's up, boys? What's up, boys? My name is Jamison Javelini.
Yeah, dude. Can't get us.
My stardom is the Lotto Ball Machine. Pit Cat, you ever got this? Pit Cat's not in the room right now.
This is the fancy fuckboys. You're talking to Christy Ferdelente right now.
My cinema is Big Cat. Guy can't pick a lottery ball to save his life.
And my sleeper, Khalil Mack. He's going to have a big game this weekend for the Josh.
What was your name again? Jameson Javelini. Sounds like Jameson Javelini didn't do another part of his job and come up with some fantasy fuckboys.
What do you mean? Just saying shit in front of him. I don't think that a guy like Jameson Javelini would ever neglect doing something that he was supposed to be prepared for for a Friday podcast.
Yeah. That was fire.
Yeah. Okay.
That was straight fire. That was not straight fire.
Fire. Hey, what's up? It's Tommy DeVito.
Tommy. I'm starting this weekend for the New York Giants.
I'm going to really stink it up out there. I might throw upwards of 15 yards.
My start, I'm starting Uganda. Yeah.
Uganda in the part of my Africa Bowl. They're playing against Kenya on Sunday.

It's a rivalry game like you wouldn't believe right now.

We're running the Uganda offense.

Quarterback, Marv Twist.

Yeah.

Great quarterback name.

Marvus Marv. We've got some great coaches on the Uganda team.

Look forward to an update from Donnie Does after we stomped this shit out of Kenya.

Maserati Marv. That's what I call him.
I'm sitting Dylan Brooks. He might be the dumbest Canadian going out there.
He got LeBron's face last night. LeBron was just laughing at him.
It was great. Great data.
NBA doesn't start till Christmas. I'm sleeping.
I'm sleeping fireplaces. That's my sleep of the week.
It's fireplace season. Got the fireplace going.
Love it. Make sure to clean out your fireplaces before starting new fire.
Sweep your chimneys. Sweep your chimneys.
Keep the carbon monoxide out because that's a sleeper right there. Knock your ass right out.
Love a good fireplace. Love fireplace.
It's the best. All right.
What's up, guys? It's Christopher Delente. Hey, Chrissy.
My My stardom is bats The Nevada game got delayed Because of bats Have you seen that TikTok with the bat that keeps saying words? Yeah, it's awesome I'm going to spend five minutes of a podcast talking about it Yeah, he hits a basketball He no. He hits a button, he says.
I forget to push this. He hits a fist.

He's like, is that Manu Ginobili?

My sit-em is the White Sox.

How the fuck you let Jason Bonetti, good Italian guy, leave the organization?

He's going to the Tigers.

1906 all over again.

Insane.

And my sleeper is Henry Lockwood because I'd like to fucking put him to sleep. For good.
I'm talking kill the guy. Murder.
I could take a nap. I'd like.
Wait, is that Hank? Our podcast downloads would go crazy if I murdered Hank. Live on the air? Yeah.
No, well, no. If I murdered him, but it was like a murder mystery.
Yeah. It was like, how do we, we don't know if Hank's, how did Hank get murdered? We do true crime on it.
And then like a month later, like, oh, Big Cat murdered him. Like, you don't think that podcast would pop? If we're all about numbies.
I actually do think that we should record a podcast together in case one of us dies. Yeah, we should.
And then we drop it right after the fact. I'm down for that.
We should do three then. Yeah.
What do you mean? Like one for if Big Cat dies, one for if PFT dies. Yeah.
Like our podcast funeral. Yeah.
I actually love that idea. Just do them all at once.
Yeah. I love that.
Three in a row. Imagine the numbers.
It's like your final gift to the rest of the guys. Yeah.
It's a huge episode. I would say so many slurs.
No, I wouldn't. But that would be funny if you're just like you can't cancel me i'm dead yeah i'm dead bitch this is ghost pft talking right now oh all right um i wrote that down on wednesday my brain just stopped oh sam schwarzstein we have an awesome interview so people probably don't the name Sam Schwartzstein.
He's been a friend of the show for a very long time, and he is so goddamn smart with football. So, I'm putting a must-listen tag because we're going to have him back on again.
He is so good at talking football, understanding the game. We probably should have had him on a long time ago.
Yeah. Because he has been a good friend of both mine and Big Cat's for, I think, like seven years.
Yeah, long time. So, he great.
Finally, he was in Chicago, so we're like, all right, let's do it. And then now he's in the recurring guest, so we'll definitely have him back on.
I think people are going to really enjoy this interview. Great Harbaugh stories.
Great Harbaugh stories. Before we do that, PFT.
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And now, here's Sam Schwartzstein. Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest.
He's a personal friend of mine and PFT's. He is Sam Schwartzstein, who, for people to set the stage, Sam, we've been friends with him for a very long time.
He actually was very helpful in the early days of pmt uh getting us one of our first interviews when we had to castro on when we went to the steelers so sam quick resume played college football at stanford uh blocked for andrew luck and jim harbaugh and jim harbaugh well blocked for we have some harbaugh questions uh he worked oliver luck at xfl uh when it first came out and he was doing the rules everything now he is at uh amazon and he works on the thursday night football prime vision which is awesome for any football fans out there who's pretty much everyone listening watch the prime vision sam's little baby there it shows you football like you've never seen so it's it's the coolest experience and sam is a true football guy and we wanted to have him on to talk football talk prime vision and whether or not harbaugh knew we can start there harbaugh knew yeah uh i don't think he knew oh yeah i don't think he knew you think he isolates his don't think he knew. You think he isolates his information?

He keeps himself in a silo protected?

Oh, yeah.

He'll do anything to win, but it doesn't necessarily mean that he's going to be the one to execute everything.

He will say, hey, guys, we have to do anything we need to win.

But I don't think he's going to get down and dirty.

Right.

Right. So does he—I remember listening to Jim Harbaugh, like, I think it was a year ago, he started talking about, like, protecting Michigan football from all enemies, foreign and domestic.
Does he actually believe that whatever football program he's coaching is a sovereign state?

yeah his uh his uh entrance was to stanford was well approaches with enthusiasm unknown to mankind and i support no cause foreign or domestic other than the greatness of stanford football

and so that is all it is it's all about the bubble creating this atmosphere that nothing matters we

weren't allowed to be in any frats. We were each other's brothers.
He made us himself the enemy. So it was all like, you guys will have to like each other.
You can hate me, but just like each other. So all he cares about is winning.
All he cares about is doing whatever he needs to do to win. So I don't think he knew, but it's not like he's not going to bend the rules.
He had found things about officiating that we manipulated at Stanford. He wasn't going to go out and maybe do all the stuff that is reported from Conor Stallions, but I don't think he knew.
I think he just liked Conor Stallions, liked the cut of his jib. Yeah, because Conor Stallions is like a mini Jim Harbaugh.
He reminds him. Oh, you have a manifesto? Mine's actually 1,000 pages.
Yeah. Oh, you wrote yours in a Google Doc? Interesting.
Mine's in Excel. Yeah, right.
Step your game up. Yeah.
He wants people who are going to take initiative and go the extra mile. I think that's about it.
So, I mean, we are Harbaugh guys. What was it like playing for him? Because you've told us some stories, and it feels like as long as you can realize like, Hey, he,

all he does want to do is win.

I'll go through hell for him.

Cause he will get us there.

Yeah.

One of my, one of my favorite Harbaugh stories was after practice,

he would always do wise words.

He would do something.

And then another player at random would pick a guy.

And he was like, I heard someone say I'm playing favorites.

Of course I have favorite players.

Oh, the best players are my favorites.

Oh, and Maricic.

He's the best player.

He's a man. would pick a guy and he was like i heard someone say i'm playing favorites of course i have favorite players oh the best players are my favorites owen marisik he's the best player he's my favorite andrew luck he's the best player he's my favorite if you want to be my favorite be the best player yeah so like you didn't know where you stood he didn't really want you to talk back so like guys like richard sherman and doug baldwin publicly i'm not sharing anything new didn't get along great with him their time at stanford and it's because they already kind of stood up for themselves but if you were the one of the best players are contributing he would like you yeah we didn't have the best relationship when i was at stanford because i got hurt early but oh he definitely was like you're not actually hurt uh yeah it was i broke my hand in one-on-one so i had the scar still and then i went and did another rep and i went up to the trainer was like my hand kind of hurts and he was like he like shifted my bone and i was like is it broken he was like are you an idiot your bone moved and i went there and i had my hand wrapped up and i was like i don't think it's broken harper's like yeah it's not broken you'll be fine sammy you'll be fine and i went to the next morning i was like i have to get surgery and uh he was like all right i'll see you in six weeks see you later i told you it wasn't broken yeah we had this conversation last night how did what happened overnight yeah so so he um he obviously will do whatever it takes to win he is a true football guy would he still practice with you guys would he take reps at quarterback he He would teach us how to do under center snaps.

So it was all about the fourth knuckle

at the center's butthole.

So he used your butthole

as a demonstrator.

Or like he would,

when I was working

with Andrew,

he would lay underneath me

to make sure Andrew

was in there right.

So he's on the ground

looking up like he's

working on a car.

And it's been great. I still have a relationship with Coach yeah he helped when I was doing the XFL rule book helping you know he had actually some really cool ideas about overtime and I saw him at a wedding this past year Trent Murphy got married and uh we were going in going into it I was like hey coach remember when you uh helped me with that you know overtime rule he had idea to make it a fifth quarter so just a quarter change instead of a half change so the whole game was still part of it and then do sudden death from there and it's a great idea it just makes two minute warning not matter as much the final two minute drill and so i told him that he was like why didn't you do it i was like well coach we're doing and so in the middle of this wedding we're both going at it just like we did five years ago going back and forth about this overtime rule what does he wear to a wedding khakis uh no he wore a suit he was respectable yeah he he may have worn khakis yeah and i'll go to i'll go try and find check the tape on i i uh yeah i mean the way you talk about harbaugh you can tell like there's true love there and it's like you went through wars for him and his time at stanford was incredible because i think people they know jim harbaugh from nfc championship games from obviously what he's doing at Michigan now.
He made Stanford a great football team for a long stretch. Yeah.
I mean, him, Coach Shaw was able to maintain and, you know, Coach Harbaugh will come in. He'll shock the system.
He got rid of all traditions at Stanford. It was, and it was one of the funnier things he said.
It was before I got there, but he goes, yeah, you guys can't do any traditions because you're such losers see this is why i want him on the bears i don't know what makes you guys losers so i have to get rid of everything yeah yeah and so it was changing i don't know what makes you lose he's like i'm changing everything your traditions aren't working yeah clearly and it reminds me of dion right like dion comes in and he's like you might not agree with everything not everything Not everything was perfect that Harbaugh did that first year, but like come in the blue collar shirts. We all have blue collar shirts.
And you know, Stanford has a lot of private school kids, right? You know, like even, even when I went to a public school, but it was in a nice town, right? Like it's like, but he's like, everyone wore a blue collar shirt. And he was like, you might not have worn one, had a blue collar job.
Your dad didn't, your grandpa may not have even, but somebody at one point had to wear this shirt they got us playing tough like stanford's not traditionally tough team but by time i left we were the toughest team on the block maybe oregon state and utah but like we were like one of the tougher teams in the pac-12 because he instilled that mindset and it carried through with you know shifting from a gruden offensive running zone scheme to downhill power football getting guys like we used to used to call it the Trees Company, where we had three tight ends on the field all the time or having eight offensive linemen. I love that.
Just trying to pound the line. That's my favorite formation in football.
Yeah, by far. You're so right, too, about the toughness of Stanford because it would be like, one of the dumbest things I would do every single year is watch Oregon score like 90 points a game and then in like early November play Stanford, I'm like, they're going to score 90 points a game.
Nope. They in Stanford would just be like, we're tougher than you.
We're not going to let you do this. We're going to play the game on our terms.
And that was Harbaugh. And that whole era, you're like, we had Vic Fangio as a coach.
Yeah. And we kind of knew Harbaugh was really good at getting replacement coaches.
We had DJ Durkin. There was about 11 coaches I had that became NFL or professional head coaches.
That's crazy. So do you think Harbaugh can fix the Bears? Oh, yeah.
He would just immediately just stuff everyone in a locker and be like, we're doing stuff differently? Yeah, I know he would do something different. Because one of the things that he did at Stanford was he saw that Nevada rushed for more yards than us.
And he was like, how could someone rush for more yards than us? We're pounding the rock. We have Toby Gerhardt.
Well, Colin Kaepernick was running the pistol offense back when the pistol was like three and a half yards. They ran all this weird stuff with it.
So he sent Greg Roman there, go steal that offense, and bring it back. So our first year when he was coaching it up, it was like all the blocking schemes were backwards.
We didn't understand what was happening, but Andrew would run out for 65 yards out the gate. Or Stephon Taylor would run up the middle for 14 yards.
It's like, we didn't even know what we were doing. And now we see that, you know, that leads to them drafting Kaepernick, Greg Roman going from all these different jobs, you know, getting quarterbacks at the level that they need to be.
And so it was like, we had that. We had Vic Fangio, the first time he was running cover six, was with us.
Now it's taken over taken over the NFL like there's some weird history of random chance because Harbaugh was willing to try new things yeah that's it it's a great point because I think we we sometimes put some of these coaches in a box like even Saban we we just taped our college football uh well actually he's gonna air Friday so on Wednesdays we talk for college football and it's Saban doesn't get enough credit for always adapting because you think like, oh, he's an old guy.

He's got the best players like no, he went he won national titles with Greg McIlroy and running the football and playing defense.

And then he went and got the best wide receivers, the best quarterback spread offense.

Now he's going back to something different like these guys that seem like they are so rigid.

They are the best at adapting.

Oh, yeah, you have to be fanatical.

But that's what I love about football.

That's when doing the rule changes. Analytics is like, how can we innovate? Right.
How can I see something new each week? And that's what makes it different than every other sport where we kind of know 3 and D is the best thing to do in NBA. If you could shoot like the Warriors, shoot like the Warriors.
Now we have Wemby. At least he adds another element.
But like football, there's so many different ways to win. So many unique things you can do.
Okay, so off watch obviously everything you watch the tape you have uh thursday night prime vision uh who's innovating the best right now in the nfl i mean it's hard to go away from the dolphins yeah so they have a few things that i love so much like they run the cheap motion right everyone's cross formation motion everyone wants for motion to go laterally now they start doing the motion outwards and they kind of moved away from it as not as much, but still a lot of motion. They also do something interesting to, has the, one of the shortest time to throws and one of the furthest air yards per target, meaning he's taking not that long to throw, but he's also pushing the ball down the field.
So he's throwing over 10 air yards. Maybe that's changed since then, but he's like at that point.
So they're like third and 10 is not as big of a deal. Cause we're always trying to get 10 we're always trying to get extra yards but they're also not putting them in harm's way which usually hey you're taking a long time to get these guys downfield let's get the fast guys get them sooner and then throwing the ball there yeah they're also manipulating data because everyone looks at like you know people don't think of football as hardcore analytics but it was one of the first analytic sports tendencies probabilities you look at their in motion data, it's like 80%.
But they'll get up to the line of scrimmage and run a lazy shift at the start of it. And that still counts in the data as a shift.
Even though it might not do it. So you're not like, oh my God, I have to practice all these shifts.
So they know what other people are looking for and they're fucking with the data. Oh, that's fascinating.
It's the next level. You know, Belichick used to do it a lot where if they were up by a lot, they'd run a ton of cover zero.
Huh. Because now teams are like, oh, I'm looking at the Patriots.
I have to practice all this cover zero. But they were up 20 points.
It was situational, yeah. And so they're like, you're actually not, they're not that heavy of a cover zero team.
So it's, the ways you can use the data knowing they're looking at it, it's a lot of what shanahan does is looking at what other people are going to adjust to their adjustments that's where you start seeing the little intricacies of the game and that's what understanding the data now lets you go how can i predict what the behavior will be next not necessarily what i've already seen but how do i predict what will they do next that's fascinating and you're you're behind the scenes in a lot of the status stuff and um you can just watch Prime Vision, see the fruits of your labor, what you've put together. You also dropped a bomb on us.
I think it was last year or two years ago where you said you casually mentioned the fact that there was a chip inside the football. We have a chip inside the football? Measure everything? There is a chip inside the football.
Zebra has shoulder pad chips on every shoulder pad. There's a chip inside the football.
It's in the middle of a football in the football, but we can still calculate to the front of the football. Next gen stats powered by AWS.
They're the ones who manage all of the data that comes from the on field tracking data. Okay.
So a lot of people have asked, why don't we get the chip in the football to determine a first down, determine, you know, if a ball, you know, if it goes over an upright or if it goes in for a field goal i personally like i think big cat personally likes the chain and the stick it's good to see just dudes running out there with hardware figuring out if it's a first down or not guy a rough does the two little fingers together then you meme it being like look at my dick yeah the tiny tiny little guy and the one ref goes like this is like yeah that's what they they all say. Yeah.
So even though you're a big analytics guy, big science guy, technology guy, you also agree that chains and sticks are really the way to go, right? I love chains. I'm one of the biggest proponents of chains because when I was at the XFL, this was my job to try and solve it.
If you ask anybody what they would do when they change football, I had Greenfield to do whatever I wanted the XFL within reason on budget.

And I was like,

okay,

let's solve it.

The people keep asking for this.

Then you realize it's like maybe 0.75 times per game.

Are we actually taking the stain,

the chains out?

And it's fewer times now.

I think there was one in the first 20 games in the NFL.

So it's like,

you're really not seeing it that much.

And so now you're solving a problem that doesn't happen all that time, all much but then here's the beauty of chains they're always 10 yards yeah 10 yard chains are 10 yards now i think there's a lot of cool things that we can do if we can get there you know with the defensive alert model that we now have on prime vision my eyes have been opened up to what we as amazon can do is a lot of unique things so i don't know where we're going to go go next on, or I can't release where we're going to go next, but the sky's the limit on what is solvable. I'll say for right now though, what I did at the XFL is we would start every new set of downs at a new yard line.
And you'll see college football does this. I think sometimes the NFL, they'll do this where if you've got 11 and a half yards, they'll just start it at that 12th yard.
So now you're seeing fewer measurements because you're going off of the yard line 10 yards yeah so we already see all we have to get to the line the hardest part of measuring this stuff is you have to possession is a weird thing no other sport has possession quite like the nfl does so you have to get possession then you have to get which body parts down then get where the ball is in that moment and we're doing all these other plays with human eyes now you're going to add one play to say that the computer is going to solve the problem right makes it more difficult but there's a lot of cool things we can do throughout the process trying to solve that that bigger problem so what do you want to solve what's the next big advancement in football i think what we're doing now for those who haven't seen prime vision defensive alert is kind kind of how I watch the game. When I was a center, I watched what's likely to blitz, which players are going to come.
That is how we're now showing the game based on machine learning, being able to show which players are likely to blitz. So now you know how to watch defense.
There's so many different things we can do to give a guided view and experience, whether it's helping you understand coverage or help you make you smarter about the game. Where could the ball go? We have prime targets showing which player is likely to convert a guided view and experience whether it's um you helping you understand coverage or help you make you smarter about the game where could the ball go we have prime targets showing which player is likely to convert a first down if they got the ball so there's we highlight that player with a green orb so there's all these different things to do about how do we make you a smarter football fan understand it we've talked a lot about schematics over the years about how to understand certain things i had to put some respect on blake bortles name probably five years ago because everyone's talking about him but other teams are still respecting him as a thrower and we can show that prime vision we want to make people have that same conversation but automate it right i come in every now and then i give you analytics about how to watch the game in a unique way but so many things we can do with automation and graphics that are in real time you know which is which one of the cool parts of it is we i'm not selecting any player to blitz.
I can't control anything on the defensive alert model. It just happens.
We just let it run. What about a flame coming out of the back of football when they throw deep? See, we want to do more fun stuff like that.
You and I have talked about ways to highlight defensive linemen. Good jump.
I think my suggestion to you was if a player is running really fast, have their shoes light up like it's NBA Jam and they're on turbo. Yes.
You had that one. You had if a player jumps off the line of scrimmage really fast, show them there.
And I actually did a bunch of research on that. That's something I hope to get in soon to identify guys like a guy like Myles Garrett, when he jumps off the ball, if you go a certain speed, you're going to increase your chance of getting a sack.
So how do we watch that player? How do we highlight the unique things that players do? So know what you need to do I mean these are all fantastic for your own uh fraternity of offensive linemen I think one thing that football fans get wrong and I count myself as getting it wrong all the time is when a sack is the offensive lineman's fault and when it's the quarterback's fault because there's I think it happens a lot more than people realize that the quarterback whether it be holding on to the ball too long getting a stepping out of a clean pocket all these things that you can just it's it's one of those easy tropes that we all use all our offensive line is bad well maybe the quarterback is playing in a way that's not helping your offensive line yeah North Carolina just had an earthquake because Jeff Schwartz is jumping up and down yeah yeah yes shout out to Jeff but Jeff. But, yeah, that's definitely something.
And data has shown that quarterbacks account a lot more for sacks than people think is a quarterback's behavior will create sacks, whether or not play caller is involved in that too. So there's a ton of different things that go into the sack.
So there is a solvable problem that could be something we're trying to do. As much as we're trying to recreate my brain watching the game, that's a solvable problem.
It's just so fascinating because there's so many little intricacies to the game and watching a quarterback not be able to manipulate a clean pocket. It's like when you think about the greatest quarterbacks like Peyton Manning or Tom Brady, these guys, the little stuff that people don't even notice is why they were great and being able to always step up in a clean pocket and shift and never like leave and leave your offensive lineman just stuck on an island and having to block for seven seconds and all this shit.
Like, that's it. It didn't really matter for Brady who was calling plays and who was blocking for him.
As long as, you know, guys like Dante Skarniecki, who's probably the best position coach of all time, the O-line coach at the Patriots, as long as he was there, Brady was being protected. It didn't matter when he went to Tampa, where he was.
So now it's like, Zach seemed to be a heavy QB staff. Right, right.
You still can't drop back, seven-step drop, and max protect when you've got a lot of fifth-rounders and undrafted guys in front of you. It's funny it's funny just like thinking about brady because we always we have this debate now with belichick and it's um the more time passes it's like pretty apparent that the patriot way was just tom brady was really fucking good at football and i like that like all these things fix it when you have a really fucking good quarterback i think matt mahomes is kind of doing the same thing where it's like he's just really fucking good at football You know, what data can't really measure is that human nature of football and what a locker room does.
But I had this feeling at Stanford from Toby Gearheart to Andrew Luck. And then I had like eight All-Americans on defense.
I always knew I had the best player on the football team or on the field every single game in college. Yeah.
You know, we still lost games, but at least I have that guy in your room everyone else will step up right like even guys like dante hightower who's probably the most underrated defensive player in history what he did for that defense now covid year he sits out all of a sudden we're seeing that team change because he's not the one he's the one who commanded the entire defense he'd play on the ball off the ball manipulate tight ends he could cover every position now they don't have that either so if you don't have the superstar player that then will rally everyone that matters yeah yeah it does elevate everyone like that's just the nature of sports if you have one guy you're like all right he's gonna be the guy for us you play more confidence right i think i can do more i can do more in the weight room i can do more watching film i feel confident it's not dumb hustle going out there every week it's a great point yeah yeah so uh we talked about the dolphins before being the one team that innovates more than any other any other team what team or coach do you think is at the bottom end of that oh and does his name rhyme with rod knowles um no it does not because because you think about the thing about todd bowles i think that's the one that rhymes no i didn't talk about ron rivera but but todd bowles actually does a lot of unique blitzes we actually are the the defensive alert model didn't pick up a lot of it because he breaks blitzing rules like there's unwritten rules of blitzes and our model was like why is he blitzing well they also got beat doing that so he does do some exotic blitzes and he will try new things um i think there's there are some teams out there i'm not going to name names so i'm going to avoid the question but you can say not like rhyming names do weber flus some teams roll the ball out there and just pray okay or they they take history lessons and they're like, oh, look, this cover three from the Legion of Boom, that was a big defense that doesn't exist anymore. We're going to do that, yeah.
Let's keep doing that. That's not the game anymore.
That was when it was under 50% pass. Now 60% of plays or passes, almost every team's at 11 personnel every time.
You can't just roll the ball. And we see the Seahawks don't even run.
The Gus Bradley, the Pete Carroll, Monty Kiffin cover three defense anymore. Yeah.
So you mentioned something there, and it's something I love about talking football with you because there's been an analytics shift. I think people are getting smarter in football, but there also is a feeling from some of the analytics crew like, oh, well, passing is just you get more yards, just pass the ball.
And you always tell me you have to run the ball. You have to run the ball because you like you have to have your offensive lineman going forward and running the ball is just as important as passing the ball.
What to tell it to tell everyone who thinks that the answer is always just passing on first down. What why is that not the case? We've talked about physics, right? Like you need to be able to go forward so that the other the defender will be on their heels.
Right. But if they're allowed to fire off every play, there's, you know, exponential returns.
If you have Miles Garrett, who's just launching off and that, you know, you look at what Big Ben at the end of his career was just calling straight drop back yeah two running plays right you know david cashier was a college roommate in mine right and you left a half-eaten tum in his car when you did that interview yes um and he would be like if if miles garrett just gets to launch off every play i'm we're screwed yeah right like we can't we can't let him put his hand on the ground get the white knuckles and launch off we have to make him think at some level we're going to come at him. There's diminishing returns, and that's the funny thing about analytics is it's still learning the game of football.
We're still trying to be able to identify, okay, what is real and what's not. If we just chase that North Star, you'll be like, why doesn't every team just run the same offense that Shanahan and Patrick Mahomes run? Well, they're always going to right unless you can draft Patrick Mahomes every year which we know multiple teams could not draft Patrick Mahomes thank you but like you're not we could we could you could we didn't but like now look look at all the air raid quarterbacks that have been drafted since him and then the one of the things I loved about Mahomes is my biggest stat with him is Baker Mayfield left.
Kyler Murray wouldn't go there to transfer with. He wouldn't go and take that spot when Cliff Kingsbury, who was his guy, went there.
And then Davis Webb also left. So his best stat wasn't his game or whatever.
It's all these other first overall picks or second round picks that got beat out by him. And so it's like, but you can't chase that from analytics standpoint.
Right. You'll have to find what makes you great.
And what makes the 49ers great is they're able to surround Brock Purdy, a guy who can execute the game almost as well as anybody, just a game plan with amazing talent. But are they going to be good in the playoffs if they get down two touchdowns? Right.
Their offense is built around having a lead. So they've gotten better.
Shanahan's adapted. But there's all these different things that you can't just be Patrick Mahomes.
Yeah. You can't just throw it on every down.
Why don't you just be Patrick Mahomes and run his plays? Or why don't you pass every down? Because that is analytically most efficient. Because you'll have diminishing returns.
Right. You also can take credit.
You danced around it. I i want to give you credit though you had patrick mahomes as your number one quarterback in that draft absolutely i always did never thought about anything else of course of course you'd be an idiot not to yeah um i also had brady as a first rounder smart oh nice i was like 12 years old but i had him as a first round i had usa over russia in 1980 that's awesome yeah look at us rated t for team my name is paul hayman, special counsel to Roman Reigns and the Bloodlines wise man.
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The return of promos plus intergender matches, gm goes multiplayer and more wwe 2k25 available now do you think andrew luck could play right now he's your friend i'm assuming that you talk to him on a daily basis and you call him up every morning you're like andrew how's how's the arm feel today could you step out? Do you think he could step back and play right now?

No.

I don't think he wants to.

Yeah.

He has to play a certain way, right?

And so – and he doesn't want to.

He's like super dad.

So we go to the Stanford tailgates.

We still talk about Stanford football all the time.

He helps me with both the models and prep for every game because I want to go out there.

If I want to talk about a quarterback or a scheme that I want to make sure I'm doing it right.

And half the time he's like, you can never say that. I could say that.
You can never say that. Right.
But like he still loves the game of football. I just think that's passed him by.
I still think he's the greatest player of all time. Oh.
You guys didn't get to see it. That's a spicy take.
I like that. Yeah.
Tell me about that. He could do absolutely everything and would do anything for his teammates.
Best leader we had, his last year at Stanford, we had only two captains now college teams have like eight captains we had him and michael thomas who's on the bangles now and it's like he was an unbelievable leader he would do everything from the moment he stepped on the field at stanford even with toby gearhart and all these all americans he was by far the best player on the field as a freshman actually this is a funny story there was a weight gain competition hard about a weight gain competition for summer there uh andrew got second to me so he's listing off the names and he goes andrew luck 15 pounds of blue twisted steel look

at him andrew stand up turn around for everybody and then i got next it's like sam schwartzstein

20 pounds i don't know how much of that is blue twisted steel. Stay down.
But like Andrew, he would do anything for the team and then he can make any play. Now, I think so much of football is, you know, scheme, coach, the teammates you're surrounded with.
Look, you know, could he have won those Super Bowls with the Seattle Seahawks and Russell Wilson if they switched places?

I think so.

I think if you put him in the right scheme, in the right location,

he could have done anything on a football field.

It's been a pet project of mine.

We've talked about it as well.

Downfield laterals, designed downfield laterals in the NFL.

We've seen it a couple times this year.

Houston did a really cool one on Sunday where CJ handed the ball off,

then ran like an outside option route, got the ball pitched back, easy first down.

Am I insane?

Is this just something that I'm obsessed with that I'm ultimately wrong about?

Or am I on to something that if coaches watch more rugby tape,

they can figure out how to safely implement design downfield laterals

and greatly increase their offensive efficiency? So much of the rule book is not being utilized. Every almost thing.
And like we talk about passing teams couldn't think you could pass 60 percent of the time. Right.
There was just a stat. I think Reed could.
Right. Sam Monson put it out there when he was at the Eagles.
It was like he was Andy Reed was laughed at because he passed more than he ran in the red zone. Yeah.
It's like 15 years ago. It's like there are these things that aren't taken advantage of.
I'm a firm believer in a downfield lateral because it's just you need to practice it. Why ever put a Taysom Hill in a quarterback or Darren McFadden? Why would you do the Wildcat? Ronnie Brown? It doesn't make any sense, but it's manipulating the defense, something they haven't prepared for, gives you opportunity.
I am 100% on board.

I actually put the double forward pass in one of the rules in the XFL.

Yeah, I love that.

It screwed up like every data thing we try to do because it's like,

how do you calculate a forward pass that hasn't been like –

it's not the end of the forward pass opportunity.

But it was to try and make laterals and get coaches more comfortable with

ladders to ultimately get to these downfield laterals because it's such a unique part of the game that, especially if you're talking about explosives right now, teams are struggling to get explosive plays. The defense are letting you move down the field and they'll let you fail in the red zone.
Yeah. Scoring's down.
I think it's going to be the first time scoring's be down in like 12 years or something. I was trying to chase 50 total points scored because that was the NFL average in 2018.
When I was making the rulebook,

I was like, how do I get the game faster

but also reach 50 total points scored? Now it's

like 45? Yeah, it's crazy. Because teams

are letting that happen. They're stopping

the run with six guys in the box.

You're having these run stuff specialists.

And so

downfield laterals is a great way to create explosives.

And if you fail one time

and then you limit them to a field goal, football's a drive-based game. You're going to have between 10 and 14 drives.
Maximize those drives. Try and have explosive plays.
Parker Fleming, I think you guys have used his data before. Stats of War, yeah.
Shout out. Shout out Parker Fleming.
He has the echo, which is how often are you getting good positive drives, getting to the opponent's 40 from your side of the field. But also how many explosives did you have, flipped field touchdowns? These are all different things to help you.
And the downfield lateral is probably the next way that we're going to see more of these explosive plays. Thank you.
Thank you. It's like any innovation with football.
I agree with PFT. I always thought it would work.
It's just coaches are scared that if it doesn't work they'll look like idiots it's like how fourth and one used to you always punt on fourth and one and then slowly but surely it's like oh i won't get criticized for this okay i can go on for it on fourth and one because it's as stupid as it could be but that really is kind of how innovation happens where coaches have to feel comfortable with not being like completely blasted for their decision making and And they're like, all right, now we can do this. It's wild to me to see some of these like single back runs, no attached tight ends.
Like the Eagles are running no attached tight ends. It's like we were running that in high school 15 years ago.
Yeah, right. That's what needs to happen.
Like the Wildcat was a high school offense. Gus Malzahn was running it.
Then it gets put into college football, right? Then we see them in the NFL. Now it it's fizzled out but there's some remnants with Taysom Hill these coaches need to go back and watch a lot of high school film because that's where you'll see innovation take place yeah trickles up it always does or it might take just some coach who's basically fired that they know that they're going to be fired by the end of the season and just to be like you know what let's fuck around have some fun doesn't really matter i'm playing with house money anyways or brand new coach you have a four-year deal like i talked about this all the time with my coach of the xfl i said go for it on every fourth down yeah i have nowhere in my business plan to double pay a coach and if i fire you i have to pay two coaches right you have two-year deals if you have four-year deal or coaches should be going for it more because it's hard for a coach the owner to go i can't wait to double pay another coach yeah i mean whoever coached the raiders next should actually try to do this because you're not going to triple pay a coach yeah you're not going to have offset language you're like i mean the niners were paying four coaches at one point between harbaugh thomasula chip kelly and then the first year shanahan like shanahan can't get fired right right right like there's only so much money right no it's a good point it's uh it's just all fascinating everything you're doing is is awesome i want to go back to one thing uh you mentioned vic fangio why is vic fangio the best because i i i've obviously didn't go well as a head coach but some guys are just not meant to be head coaches and they're just insane defensive coordinators and you know i obviously he was on he was a defensive coordinator for the bears when they had a great defense a few years ago feels like everywhere he goes the defense instantly gets better uh shane scove made a nickname for him called lord fangio because we called him the dark lord because he's like we had the worst passing defense in college football the year before and we had four nflers richard sherman you know, he's going to be a Hall of Famer, one of the best corners ever.
He was on our team, and we were just getting torched. We were running cover for every play.
We get Fangio, and he was a mercenary. He didn't get out of the team hotel.
He never bought a house. Like, he knew.
He was the original one and done, you know? Yeah. And he was just so meticulous about finding unique ways to beat defenses or offenses.
And one of the things in practice, we would, in training camp, it was awful because we would have a protection call and then he would call a blitz to beat that protection. Then we'd stay up till, you know, 11 o'clock at night and we'd be adding new calls.
Okay. If we see the safety walk down in this gap, we're going to call stinger stinger that's gonna shift the protection then they're gonna hear stinger and go through and so probably about like two weeks of this he walks into our o-line room he sees our coach's hair is all crazy and all of us guys were like pulling our leg hairs out to stay awake and he goes what are you still working on that swiss cheese 58 protection like he just like he just and he just reveled in just ripping us apart yeah because he was always willing to look for a new thing and you know he was one of the first coaches to do the three four with four three spacing so you know you'll see a lot of like stand-up dns but it's not you know it'll be look like a three four but really it's four three spaces you're getting different body types in there make it a faster defense being able to do more zone blitzes he was one of the first zone blitz guys i think when he was at carolina

years ago uh when they were expansion team so it's like he's willing to do a lot of different

things and i talked to him a little bit last year at stanford tailgates and he says like

when he's given people the defense he hasn't given everyone everything he still has kept some stuff

in there so yeah he's still a little bit crazy saying i got a little bit of special sauce even

guys i've coached i haven't given them everything right right what about on um when they bring up the the like uh aws stats for catch probability they'll say like davante adams 11 chance making this catch you guys just make that up right no no next gen stats powered by aws has a ton of uh great people working there guys like keegan abdo mike band con, Conor Quiston. How do you do like 11% he's going to make this catch? It's a stack rank, so that's one of their stats, and they're looking at what makes all the hardest passes.
The further you throw the ball, the harder it is. How much distance is there between them and the closest defender, distance to the sideline, and you stack rank all these things, and you look at every pass that's taken place over the past few years, and you're trying to evaluate what's the likelihood of those passes based on all these different attributes.
Then you get there. Now, the thing is it's completion probability, and so it's not taking into account who that wide receiver is.
And that's something I've learned from data this year is I think having superstar wide receivers changes everything because they are that other part of that catch. And if you can maximize those – Terry McLaurinin he's like the best at tight window catches mike williams if you can maximize those guys to make catches that your quarterback either doesn't have to be perfect or nobody's open and you can get a positive play out of that yeah it's extremely valuable or like even like i think one of the most underrated things that we just completely look past for wide receivers is like their body control against the sidelines where it's like if you ask my body to get two feet in bounds and some of the positions they're in like my abs would rip and i would just fall flat on my face like they they're the way they're able to manipulate their body and keep their core strength while they get two feet in bounds is out of this world yeah the fact that it's two feet i at the xfl i made it one foot inbound because i was like i gotta get these trickly crazy catches and there's probably even more amazing catches in the nfl like the talent level of the top wide receivers in the nfl to the rest is probably a bigger disparity than people think as when people everyone thinks about o-line it's so hard to find alignment those guys that can run a four three four four and do those body control control catches those are the special specimens yeah in the nfl and seen what happens of just moving A.J.
Brown off the Titans and onto the Eagles, how it changes the fabric of both organizations. One's now in first place all the time.
It's one guy who gets maybe 10 catches a game. How has that changed the game so much versus his gravity, making it easier for everyone else, as well as breaking case of emergency and then go to A.J.
Brown? It is have a superstar there was a play in the cowboys eagles games that was just so perfectly like summed up aj brown it was incompletion and it was maybe we should put it in our best incompletions of the year uh it was a deep shot to aj brown and he was triple covered and i think that jalen hurts just like no at least once a I'm just going to see if he can make one of these crazy catches. Because he probably will more often than not.
And it didn't work that time. But he's that type of player where it's like, it doesn't matter if he's fully covered.
He can still make a play. Calling the perfect play every time is impossible.
Harbaugh actually used to have this quote that was funny. He was like, hey, if you look at your playbook, none of the plays are scripted for five yards.
They're touchdowns, all of them. So if you just do it correctly, you'll score a touchdown.
But the reality is getting the guy open, making sure you can predict it because they have superstars on their team too. And you can go, screw it.
I'm just going to launch it to AJ. It might work.
And it probably will. And then also like pass interference, spot foul is the only play in football where the offense doesn't have to do something good yeah you get to have that opportunity there's fewer of those calls now but uh because the end phase rule changed last year but it's like that's still an opportunity for you to gain some yards and it's like my guy's down there i'll trust him yeah do you know who the all-time goat is in terms of throwing pass interference i actually think it's eli manning i did a research study on this about five years ago that the two super bowl seasons that they were two standard deviations meaning very very high away of first downs by penalty uh on third down so that is like the nerdiest stat i could give right now yeah no i love those two super bowl seasons they were like astronomically more and it was because i think he was just saying mario manningham plexico burris let's just make something happen underthrown just a little bit we were hoping you were flacco is the one everyone knows about but like if we want to go sneaky into the tape yeah and the data eli manning is one of those guys that that sneaky part of that but flacco is like known for carson wentz perfected it at the end of the and that's another thing about trying to track these stats epa gained by penalty or or a first down by penalty how you can manipulate that or putting yourself into high likelihood of not converting by penalty those those penalties can change the fabric of the game there's maybe like six of them per team per game but they are game changing when they happen yeah can you diagnose how to stop the tush push? You're like the smartest football line that we know.
You love the tush push, right? You love it. I do love the tush push because fourth down conversions is a big part of why I have a job.
So, I like it. Again, we talked about this.
I had a similar play in college. 64 lead dive.
We would hand it off, but we'd have two upbacks that would jump over the top. Me and DeCastro versus the low shade.
And as a center, it is terrible because when we were doing it but we'd have two up backs that would jump over the top me into cash versus the low low shade and as a center it is terrible because you know when we were doing it we'd have

the collision and then our guys jumping over the top their guys jumping over top all landing on

top of me yeah uh i definitely don't think there's a way to stop it and converting and that's

not unique in in the cfl there's a one yard neutral zone so qb snakes are nearly guaranteed

every time they just have only three downs versus four downs so like theirs gets like a two yards

I'm sorry. Not unique in the CFL.
There's a one-yard neutral zone, so QB sneaks are nearly guaranteed every time. They just have only three downs versus four downs.
So theirs gets like a two yards every time. I think the tush push is so unique.
QB sneaks in general convert it 72% of the time. They're at like 85%, 90% with the tush push.
It's super hard to stop it, and that's okay. I think that if they wanted to get rid of the play play i wouldn't be against them getting rid of the play it's not no it's not the first time that the nfl rule book has limited there are rules in the current nfl rule book against the t formation so they are limiting some formations you can already run so i'm not it's not saying it's brand new that they would get rid of it it's not impossible want to stop it he is leading with the crown of his helmet but i support it because it's fun and it's fun to say tush push get a little yiddish on the yeah yeah that's always good for me so it's all did just mention like that it might already be against the rules yeah because you're that's any quarterback any quarterback you're playing with the crown of your helmet so i i honestly think that if they got rid of it the eagles would still convert it like 90 i think they're better without the yeah like that it's not just the middle finger toast.
I think it's just the middle finger. Yeah.
In college one time, we ran, it was called Incredible. It was a rush the ball play called Power Kill Power against USC because Coach Harbaugh wanted to score more than 50 points.
The earlier possession, we went for two to get to 50. Then we got the ball back and we ran the play all the way down because it was a big middle finger.
Well, it was a big, hey, you can't stop it. It was a middle finger.
It was a middle finger, yeah. Maybe two.
And that was like – I think that's what they're doing now is they could run the QB sneak or they could run all their fun plays, the fly sweep off of it, a pop pass. There's all those things.
But I think right now they take so much pride in it that they're just saying, we're going to do it. Was that the play – because you told me maybe it was the bowl game against Oklahoma State where Harbaugh called the same run play like 13 times in a row.
No, that was incredible. 2009, it was the what's your deal game.
Pete Carroll came up to him after the game. It was like, what's your deal? What's your deal? I love Stanford Athletics.
They actually made a special ticket package the next year called the what's your deal deal. So that was that game where you ran it 13 straight times? 13 we we ran a play it was very funny because you know stanford we had a very unique play calling system where it was a play a kill and alert so we had three separate plays and then andrew could get to a fourth play on every play and that was like our unique thing we'll always run the perfect play uh and then for the fiesta bowl we had 400 plays scripted so i wore two wristbands and and Andrew wore two wristbands.
And then we ran one play, like a goal line play in the middle of the field, probably 15 times. It's like, why did we have all these plays scripted up? I'm like, we're spending four weeks trading for this game.
It's like, we're just going to run goal line offense in the middle of the field. I love it, though, because that's like so classic Harbaugh.
Like, we're just going to run it down your throat. There's nothing you can do about it.
It gets me pumped up. It just smells weakness during the day.
That's why I need him to be the Bears coach. It's so much fun when it's working.
Yeah. The chaos that he brings that did make it on edge, like every guy on the team, but probably Owen and Andrew, thought they were going to get kicked off the team at some point because there was so much chaos.
He would have us doing four-hour practices, and what sometimes you'd have us give it the night off and so you never knew like one night he actually planned we had a movie night watch out you almost get hit by a mountain got killed by a mountain new office still work in progress right yeah it's also hank he was just sitting there a second yeah shout out to stella yeah um but there was all uh harbaugh uh would give us the night off for a movie night and so the rumbling started happening that we're gonna get on their movie night and then he came in he goes uh anyone ready for a movie night and we all start cheering he goes nah we're gonna watch some good films we're gonna watch uh probably oregon state and our dfo matt doyle standing with all the tickets like uh-oh he'd already bought the tickets and already played harbaugh just said nope you guys know the movie night's coming i'm not letting you have it yeah that's great um who's one coach in the nfl right now that you think is uh like priming themselves to break out like is there is there a guy that's not getting the recognition for whatever the circumstances are that you think could actually be a great coach if given the time i love ben john Johnson. I don't know how he is a leader, but from a play caller standpoint, his parents were both math majors, so he uses analytics and data.
He actually coded a fourth down book for one of the teams that he was on when he was a young guy. And he's doing such unique things with the Lions.
Part of me wants them just to keep the gang together and be like, hey, what if we were legends and brought a Super Bowl here? But Ben Johnson is – if I were an owner, he's a guy I would go after as a potential head coach. Eric Biennemi probably deserves a head coaching job at this point.
I think he's proven he can do enough, and he does a lot of cool things. I mean, they take a lot of sacks there, but he's doing unique play calls.
Those guys work probably harder than any other team, coaching staff-wise,

because Biennemi is so committed.

Is that PFT?

Yeah, no, Sam Al, legit.

The guy.

No, I think that was more of a Ron Rivera positive thing.

Coaching staff works harder than that.

The offensive coaching staff. The offensive coaching staff.

My fiance, Kelly, shout-out to Kelly.

I have to give her a shout-out.

Shout-out to Kelly. I love you.
But my fiance's mom went to – Oh, big simp. The biggest simp.
Her mom went to high school with Ron Rivera. So we're a Ron Rivera household.
Okay. That's fair.
But you should do like an on-screen analytics for Ron Rivera in terms of time spent on camera not saying a single word. Yeah, I can't unsee that after you started talking about that.
It's unreal. I can't's unreal see that and he's been more talkative recently i saw him twice on sunday he was talking which is a record for him i think he misses cam newton because he's doing the towel thing that cam newton does sometimes he'll put the towel around his neck and i'm like i think he yeah he probably does he does hey it's ria from tricks in the office it's officially mini skort season and abercrombie has the ones to go out in.
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Do you want to give us a Super Bowl pick? You watch the games. You're dialed in more than anyone.
You're watching all the film. What does your computer brain say about this? Yeah, give us the computer picks.
Baltimore. Yeah? Complete team.
Yeah. That's music to my ears.
Probably the easiest thing to do is, like, who's going to get the first? Who's going to get the buy? The buy is so valuable, and then home field advantage is so valuable. But they might not because their entire division is in the playoffs right now.
But Todd Monken offense, I'm a big Greg Roman fan. He was a coach of mine.
But Todd Monken has taken Lamar to the next level. Lamar is playing at a different speed.
But the fact that their defense is playing, and shout out to Roquan Smith, maybe sometimes you should pay inside linebackers who can do a lot. But I think you had this great concept, pay your best players.
Yeah. If you have good players, keep them.
Everyone talks about you can't find good players in the draft. It's hard to do that.
But if you do it, you might want to keep them. Yeah, keep them.
Hold on to them. Even though, you know, maybe not pay inside linebackers.
But who knows? Now the middle of the field is such a big place people try and go. We see Fred Warren or Roquan Smith smith those are great defenses and their best players are mikes but you know i think that yeah i mean that's another classic like he they it wouldn't have worked for the bears it wouldn't have worked the ravens are a professional organization unlike the bears yeah analytics organization too yeah great uh but yeah i thought you're gonna ask me who the most famous person i cell phone was oh yeah okay who's the most famous person your cell phone Andrew Luck oh yeah why isn't he on right yeah that's I mean that was the whole thing you've been promising Andrew Luck for uh I mean you're a day one AWL so I think you've been promising Andrew Luck for seven plus years that's true yeah yeah I actually didn't set this up I should have set this up he can come throw a football with us yeah play some catch he's gonna be very mad about this he's not gonna pick up he's not gonna pick up didn't to castro call you sam and said it was andrew luck well i all right my old boss is gonna get upset at this he didn't pick up maybe he will call back but i had when we set up the to castro interview i had set up this is 2016, with a soundboard to have the most famous person phone be Hulk Hogan.
And I would be a Hulk Hogan soundboard. I'm very excited.
I had booked a conference room acting like I was in a sales meeting to do it. And Andrew called me because he used to not have an iPhone.
He has an iPhone now. So now we text more.
But he called me. He's like, hey, Hey man, I set Dave up with the part of my take guys.
Don't call him. Cause I know you're going to call me and then you're going to call him.
That's your habit. He goes, okay, okay, okay.
So then I'm getting ready to do the thing. And I finally get the call from David and I'm ready to do the Hulk Hogan thing.
And you guys acted like it was Hulk Hogan. And then you're like, hey, motherfucker.
You're trying to prank us? We're going to prank you back. And then when I listened to Andrew, just like going through the motions, called him during the podcast.
We technically had him on. Yeah, we had him on, sort of.
But this has been awesome, man. We want to have you back on Breakdown the League.
This is long overdue. Long, long overdue.
Everyone watch Prime Vision. I can't recommend it enough.
And you're getting great as an on-air personality as well. Thank you.
You taught me. You told me, please smile last year.
Yeah, because I think there was a couple times when you went the first time, and you're like, keep watching, let me know. And you were like, just so serious.
I was like, just mix in a smile. Show people you're having fun.
Because football is fun. You like this, right right that's what my producer says before i go on you you like this right you like football yeah football's fun it's it's crazy how much people watching other people smile or laugh is like infectious and like that's basically the genesis of the show is having a good time with with your boys so yeah i i found you guys i used to read both of you but then the podcast was because like every young man's life you're going through and you're listening to local sports talk radio.
Yeah. And they had an actual argument over and cause I lived in the Bay.
Who's more important to the Warriors, Steph or clay. I was like, you cannot be serious.
The answer is clay. Right.
Oh, he's the finisher. And he doesn't waste up all the time dribbling.
And then I, I, you guys and i was like this is what i need i needed my palate cleanser from local radio yeah that's such a great discussion to have too it's great because you can make yourself feel so smart by finding reasons why it's actually clay yeah and then you're just rooting for yourself at that point you're like filling there it's like no it's the guy you can shoot from half court right the video game had to make him worse at three pointers because it was unfair in the video game yeah right and it's very it's like just having those sports debates but being like we are dumb and this is a dumb debate makes it a lot more fun oh yeah that's why you guys are the best yeah all right well sam thanks so much man we appreciate you coming by hi it's rigs from foreplay and you know what is back it's pga tour 2K25. That's right, it's time to tee it up in iconic PGA Tour events.
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All right.

Let's wrap up Fyre Fest of the Week.

Hank.

Yeah, I mean, we kind of covered mine pretty extensively. What was it uh at the beginning of the podcast that you didn't do your job i did not do my job that's very un bill belichick of you i could get it's it is some would say it's very bill of me though do your job yeah fact or fiction that's the one mantra they've had no i'm saying bill e Oh, Bill E of you Gotcha So there's that That's the one mantra they've had.
No, I'm saying Bill E. Oh, Bill E of you.

Gotcha.

So there's that.

That's good deflection.

Anything else?

That's it.

That's it?

You just apologizing?

I lost my laptop again.

You guys hid my laptop.

We did not hide your laptop.

It just disappeared under the lottery ball machine. That's where you last were I guess Other firefests There's only one person in this room that's gotten the laudable Correct right So wouldn't that stand to reason That's where he would put his laptop Like I have no reason to be over at the laudable Also who sn old old interrogation tactic.
I just went up to Max was like, I know they had my laptop. And he was like, how'd you know? What the fuck, Max? You're so stupid.
You're like a fucking dumb bird. Well, I wanted him to do his job.
No, that was the point. He was just going to not do his job.
You didn't even tell me. me i was gonna shame him for not doing his job

and that's the perfect crime but then i tried to be like i i tried to i tried to play it off i tried to be like i lost my laptop max just snitched on me he's like no he didn't i told you where it was oh yeah you double snitched yeah you double snitched i tried to well that i didn't want him to i didn't want him to have that out you're not why you're narc if you ever get trust yeah you're gonna sing hey don't say that yeah i you also didn't even tell me i was just sitting on the ground cross-legged and i looked to my right and i was like why are you sitting on the ground i was like why is there why is there a laptop underneath the lottery ball machine so it's not even like you trusted me with that information yeah also i guess my other fire fest i i mean it's it's not really fire fest i think it's funny to an extent uh i just the whole the whole tiffany gomez like i took a couple harmless pictures kind of as like a continuation of the podcast and it's been stunning how much people seem to care about that no the rule the rule of the internet is if you take a picture with somebody you're fucking yeah no but yeah uh that has been a little bit of a lot i've had a lot of people reaching out to me from all all walks of life that are like what's going on i'm like nice we're just pals it's been now new chicks are gonna be like damn yeah it's like travis kelsey he's been pictured with taylor swift a lot he just stepped up his entire game for after they're no longer a thing. It's true.
I just like the private life, private. It's been a good last couple years doing that, and I kind of dipped my toe back on the other side, and I realized I don't like it.
Okay. PFT, your Fyre Fest? Yeah, my Fyre Fest is so I'm still dealing with a rib injury and uh i went to the doctor last week on friday they gave me an x-ray they basically told me i was a bitch and said that i had like a fractured cartilage thing or separated cartilage so they gave me prescriptions and i've spent the last week trying to get a prescription from a pharmacy that rhymes with mall greens and uh pharmacies yes they just don't have prescriptions anymore there's drug shortage steal it covid of everything covid i so i couldn't get my prescription and then they told me the doctor didn't call it in the doctor called it in a second time i went back to walgreens wait in line for another 45 minutes and they said yeah we still don't have the prescription so i had to wait till Monday to call the doctor back Silk Road I call her back on Monday that's right the doctor's female I saw the shocked look on your face Hank you sexist the doctor is the mother my doctor quit oh and so now I'm so sick of you so now the other doctor that's there is like yeah I can't give you that prescription because it's for a controlled substance yep and the previous doctor wrote it so um just kind of rub some dirt on it so i haven't really been sleeping well because on my side my rib hurts it hurts to breathe sneeze laugh uh so i've just what's wrong with pharmacies in america they don't we don't carry drugs anymore china yeah i've i've had adhd my whole life and i've had prescriptions my whole life and it was an absolute war when i moved to chicago trying to get it like trying to get it it's china it's easier to get a gun in chicago than it is to get a pill it's china i just i just want to fall asleep let me sleep sounds like you're abusing pills i i haven't had the opportunity to i would love to be abusing pills right now they know they know you're gonna pre-abuse i'm doctor shopping i had the same thing where my doctor sent it in and then i went to the pharmacy two times and they were like your doctor never sent it in and i would talk to my doctor and they'd be like we sent it in and then i i went like a third time and by they didn't like send anything else they were like oh yeah we have it you just haven't picked i'm like what's going on here yeah it is also what'd you get prescribed for idiot pills technically yes i also have that addd my whole life it sucks because i i'm actually at the point where i think that pharmacies are a racket now yeah where um they just try to get you to come in to pick up your prescription knowing they don't have the medicine and they just want you to buy all the other shit that's in the store it's like oh while i'm here because i did that last week it's like while i'm here i need some milk might as well pick up some milk while i'm here i need some magnums might as well pick those up you know normal stuff like that i once had a in college i had a convenience store guy i went up to get nyquil and the guy looks at He goes, let me guess, Magnums? Oh, rock.
Hell yes. Hell yes.

Yeah.

Did he have a tip jar uh no he showed up he showed up i think about i think about that a lot too if you're in the service industry fastest way to get a quick tip is to go whoa you look like you had a huge dick well i gotta give this guy 20 bucks That was great. All right.
My Fyre Fest, I don't really – I'm just tired.

Yeah. Really, really tired.
Me too. Um, football season just wears us down.
I'm at that point. I have a fire fest that I'll give you an out.
It was already your turn. I was doing my fire for you.
No, for you. Oh, I have one for you too.
What? Yeah. Does everyone in this room just think of- It might be the same one.
What the fuck did I do? What the ways that Big Cat fucks up all the time? What the fuck did I do? Actually, I have one for you, too. What did I do? You mispronounced the Mississippi State coach wrong.
Oh, fuck that guy. The SID.
Yeah, so for people who tuned in to the Barstool Invitational, thank you. I called Chris Jones.
Jens. Chris Jones.
I said Chris Jones over and over. And the SID came over to us and was like, hey, you're saying his name wrong.
And then the guy didn't even realize. But then Dave spent the next 10 minutes just blasting the SID.
He's like, this fucking squid. So it was awesome.
Thank you to Mississippi State for their help. I do not care.
That's not my Firefest, by the way. I also did.
Oh, that might be my Fire fire fest I fell in love with Mississippi State basketball so much I put a future on them $2,000 to win $300,000 they can shoot the three shoot the three I was like damn this team is good it might be that Arizona State's bad if Michigan State had Mississippi State's outside shooters they would win the championship yeah for sure what's mine hank you owe me a thousand dollars but i will i will for what rescind that out of my bad performance today and lack of uh for what presentation we made a bet uh on the joe buck episode calling the demar hamlin incident we made a bet where you're like i can't wait for this new lottery ball machine i was like i'm gonna get it first like want to bet oh fuck we did a thousand bucks that's fucked up that's what i'm saying i'm i'm not gonna i'm gonna rescind it i actually as a token we have the old lottery ball machine i was gonna bring it back in to new york throw this one away this one's worthless also i guess my real fire fesses are fucking... Let me back up.

That was me getting triggered by being tired.

I was going to say something really mean about Pete and the fact that he can't come, but I didn't.

The fact that we built this whole office and the fucking rims are 10 feet 2 inches is driving me insane.

It's throwing off my whole jumper.

We went to Wintrust last night and I shot around. I hit everything.
I was like, it's crazy. That's the worst Fyre Fest ever because everyone's like, oh, you built a fucking office with a basketball court.
The rims were a little off. But you can lower them.
Those are real problems. I don't know.
I keep asking, how do we lower them? How do we lower them? They're like, oh, we called the guy. We called the guy.
Just fucking. Pete's trying to do the they're not that low.
Yeah. They're not that high.
It's like, dude, it's 10 feet. It's Hoosiers.
Ever seen it? Max, after this, maybe I get on your shoulders and I just jam and lower myself. He's nodding his head.
Speak, Max. It's a podcast.
All right, Jake. Oh, you spoke too much? No, you didn't.
This has been a weird episode. Weird episode.
I feel bad about my performance. Yeah, me too much I didn't this has been a weird episode weird episode I feel bad about my performance me too I'd like to apologize I would also like to apologize I think you gave a great performance I've had fun I want a clip of both the Colts Patriots preview and the Jets Raiders preview let everyone know how our football intellect is going the suit that PFT so generously bought me a few years ago was big a year ago when i tried it on and it fit last night bad news oh yeah i've been thinking you'd be getting fat cake marsh back maybe maybe mixing a salad but now we have an office of the basketball hoop so i'm gonna sweat more jake did go fucking turbo mode in dodgeball that was yeah that's sick alpha alpha he was a lot of was in the Matrix.
He just went and was like, I'm going to kill everyone. It's the Jake tricks.
Yeah, they're close. There's another stream today, right? Close football home run derby.
Tune in. Yes, yes, tune in.
Yes, so we're streaming. We're going to start streaming stuff.
It's a work in progress. I think everyone's going to love them, but we're testing them out.
So right now we're testing them out, just running them at the end of the yak.

Soon we'll be doing them all on the Viva List.

Stool Streams. Stool Streams.

We'll be doing them on the Stool Streams YouTube.

So we're testing everything out.

It's a test of progress.

Do you have ideas?

Let us know.

Well, for everybody also asking about the baseball stream that we did, the video we shot last week,

Max is working on that. It should be out.
No on Friday. No Friday Max.
No. Meme is just like won't let me talk.
No, it is not out. It is not going to be out.
Oh, wow. Really? Correct.
Why not? There's multiple reasons that I that we don't have to talk about. When are we doing your fucking stream? 24 hours.
Oh, wait. It was supposed to be on Thursday.
Should we do it Thursday? This upcoming Thursday? Yeah. Because it's Ravens-Bengals.
Thursday night football. It's a really good game.
It's a really good game. I get it.
This is my last week with no tattoo. It's a really good game.

I think we should do it this Thursday or next Thursday.

Well, no.

Next Thursday is Thanksgiving, is it not?

I'm down.

Yeah, I think we're recording early.

No, thank you.

That Tuesday, right?

I think we should do it this Thursday.

We got to sit down and...

Sit down what?

Oh, or we could do it next Monday. Eagles chiefs.
Oh, you can still watch the game, right? We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out.
I think you should get to listen to it on, on headphones. We'll figure it out.
Voice of the Eagles. I can watch the voice of the Eagles.
Uh, okay. We'll figure it out, but it could be this.
It would start Wednesday night at like 10 p.m. And then we just run it all Thursday.
I'm down. Sounds good to me.
Who are we going to have narrate over? We need to get Frank back out here, though. For what? Him to just narrate the like 2 to 6

a.m.

We're going to talk tomorrow. We'll talk tomorrow.

Okay, alright. We'll figure it out.
Alright, numbers.

18. 17.

8.

20. 77.

3.

I'll go 5. Shane has 10.

Shane has 10. Pug has 5.

66.

Love you guys.

It's Pardon My T.

The number one spot podcast

on the charts and in your hearts. Pardon my kid.
Yeah. Pardon my kid.
Yeah. Pardon my kid.
Yeah. Pardon my kid.
Yeah. Pardon my kid.
Yeah. Pardon my kid.
Yeah. Pardon my kid.
Yeah. pardon my dick For the Minds Yeah, pardon my death.
Yeah, pardon my death.

Yeah, pardon my death.

Yeah, pardon my death.

Yeah, pardon my death.

Yeah, pardon my death.