Clinton Portis, Tiffany Gomas, NFL Week 9 Picks And Preview Plus Fyre Fest Max Forgot To Press The Button

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

Speaker 1 Mint is still premium unlimited wireless for a great price. So that means a half day.
Yeah, give it a try at mintmobile.com/slash switch.

Speaker 3 Up from payment for $45 for three-month plan, equivalent to $15 per month required. New customer offer for first three months only.
Speed slow under 35 gigabytes of networks busy.

Speaker 3 Taxes and fees extra. See Mintmobile.com.

Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have an incredible show for the people. We have two guests, Clinton Portis, one of the best running backs we've watched in our lifetime.

Speaker 1 Talking Miami Hurricanes 2001, talking his career,

Speaker 1 running the football. Then we have Tiffany Gomez.

Speaker 1 You might remember her from being a meme going viral online for a moment on an airplane, which we get to the bottom of. Great interview with her as well.
We're going to do week nine picks and preview.

Speaker 1 So much to get to. Firefest should be can't miss.
When cool, creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo. The whole is greater than the sum of its sauce.

Speaker 1 Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch sauce, only at McDonald's for a limited time. At participating, McDonald's.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 It's Pardon Mighty,

Speaker 1 the number one spot podcast on the charts and in your heart.

Speaker 1 Football guy for Dino. AWS.

Speaker 1 Fart and my T.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 Bart and tape,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 far and might take,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 more than my tape,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 more than my tape.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take. Today is Friday, November 3rd, and the Texas Rangers are World Series champions.

Speaker 1 I thought we had to start with that because we were obviously on an off day when the Rangers won the World Series on Wednesday night.

Speaker 1 the Rangers fans deserve this. You are world champions.
Incredible run. Yeah.
Never lost a road game. They were awesome on the road.
Congratulations to Rangers fans.

Speaker 1 First World Series in the history of your franchise.

Speaker 1 63 years. Big moment.
Congrats to all the great ones. Congrats to Nolan Ryan.
They were celebrating on top of his statue after the game. Adrian Beltrack.
Congrats to Rafi Palmero.

Speaker 1 All the great Rangers that we've seen. Rough Net O'Dour.
Yep. All the great ones.
Yes.

Speaker 1 And congrats to Will smith yes who is a three-time world series champion first player to ever win three consecutive world series on three different teams i think his salary this year was 1.5 million dollars best investment of all time go go every every team should try to go sign him he won with the braves he won with the astros he wins with the rangers three years in a row it's insane bruce bocey already a hall of famer cements it even more four world series championships uh they showed the stat yesterday since since he came back the first time.

Speaker 1 So obviously he was the Padres when he was managing against the Yankees in the World Series in 98, I believe.

Speaker 1 When he came back with the Giants, 14 out of the last 15 postseasons, actually 15 out of the last 16 postseason series, he's won. That's insane.
It is pretty incredible. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Biggest head in baseball. Biggest head in baseball.

Speaker 1 Eight and a quarter size. I don't know what that translates.
I think it's 25 inches. Yeah.
So it's like a small child's waist. And they never lost on the road.
Never lost on the road. Which is crazy.

Speaker 1 Sorry to the Diamondbacks fans out there. You guys had a good run.

Speaker 1 I did like that they put security guards around the pool after the game was over to make sure that the Rangers couldn't, you don't dip in another team's pool to celebrate. That was smart.

Speaker 1 That would have been a bad visual for D-Bax fans that you'd have to live with for a while. And also...

Speaker 1 Massive congratulations to the New York Mets. Yes.
Because Jacob DeGrom and Mac Scherzer won a World Series. Congratulations.

Speaker 1 The Mets out there. They're going to do it.
And they did it.

Speaker 1 And all the Mets fans said, like, well, you know, at least DeGrom's just going to take a paycheck somewhere and ride off into the sunset, thinking that he wouldn't be competing for a World Series ranking.

Speaker 1 Well, Jake DeGrom, World Series champion. World Series champion.
Yeah, the Rangers, incredible run. I mean, not losing on the road is just insane.

Speaker 1 That's such an accomplishment. And

Speaker 1 I know that people will say, oh, the ratings were so low. Who the fuck cares?

Speaker 1 No one. No one cares.
I don't care. I do not care that the ratings were low.

Speaker 1 Rangers fans deserve this.

Speaker 1 I saw a couple of videos of them like going crazy in uh the dallas fort worth area it was awesome i have one last thing about uh baseball then we'll talk quickly about thursday night football a little trivia for you courtesy of our friend marlins man you ready for this okay yeah okay marlins man posted this last night after the rangers had won He said, who is the last team to celebrate winning the World Series in their home stadium as the home team?

Speaker 1 Quick, who? Answer will surprise you. Quick who? Answer will surprise you.
Is it the Kansas City Royals? Red Sox.

Speaker 1 It was the Houston Astros last year. Oh.
Oh, okay. I know.

Speaker 1 Wild trivia. That is crazy.
It did. It's surprising.
That did surprise you. I was like, it's not the Red Sox in 2013.
That wasn't that long. Literally, every reply was like, dude, last year?

Speaker 1 That is the Okie though. That's a great trivia question.
I think he forgot.

Speaker 1 He definitely did because you don't ask that question if the answer.

Speaker 1 I guess the answer did surprise me, though. It did surprise you.
Max, did it surprise you?

Speaker 1 I don't care. Okay.
All right. Well, we also had Thursday night football.

Speaker 1 I have two takeaways from this game. One is Will Levis is good.
Yeah. Will Levis is good.
He's the guy.

Speaker 1 That was a game that you thought short rest, going to Pittsburgh, tough defense, tough pass rush. I did not think that he would have the game that he had.
He was in that game all the way to the end.

Speaker 1 Obviously, an interception at the end, but you know, there's 11 seconds left. You got to force it.

Speaker 4 His spiral is beautiful.

Speaker 1 You know what? Effortless. The ball looks different coming out of his hand.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He stands in the pocket. He really does.
So that was my first one. And my second one was, I kind of love the Pittsburgh Steelers in the fact that they play the ugliest games, but they're a lot of fun.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Because they're always close, and it feels like they're always dramatic because this is the Pittsburgh Steeler way.
Hang around, hang around, hang around.

Speaker 1 Kenny Pickett, fourth quarter drive, and then win with like, you know, their entire defense teeing off on a quarterback. Yeah, big difference today, I thought, was Matt Canada being on the sidelines.

Speaker 1 Yeah. He's a different play caller on the sidelines.

Speaker 1 They were running some plays besides the

Speaker 1 Najee up the middle and then like a tight end screen for negative one yards. They were mixing around a little bit.
They didn't really go downfield that much.

Speaker 1 George Pickens had a touchdown where he should have gotten his other foot down.

Speaker 1 That was one of the, I think he was like three or four yards inbounds when his first foot hit, and then he didn't drag the second foot, stepped out of bounds. Deontay Johnson got a shot.

Speaker 1 Shout out our guy Deontay. Since 2021, the last guy who threw him a touchdown was Ben Rotlisberger.

Speaker 1 It had been, it had become, it was a joke between us here because Jersey Jerry, our friend, who's a Steelers fan, had been telling us to bet Deontay Johnson touchdown for what felt like five years, never scored, but it also had become like a pretty big story because Al Michaels mentioned it multiple times.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And like to go, to be a receiver like him who has 20-plus touchdowns, I think in his career, to go like a season and a half without a touchdown, I'm happy for him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and also, I'm happy for Al Michaels. Al Michaels had a pretty good night too.
Yeah, he was a little juiced up.

Speaker 1 I think somebody got in his ear and was like, Hey, Al, take this eight ball of cocaine before you go on the air tonight. He's been in Pittsburgh.
Got him going.

Speaker 4 It was wonderful.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so it was a good game. Other thing, before we get to our picks and preview, Bob Knight passed away.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I did like how all the obituaries tried to dance around the fact that Bob Knight was a little bit of an asshole. They were like controversial or, you know, like checkered past.
Mercurial.

Speaker 1 Bob Knight was a legend in the sports world.

Speaker 1 If you grew up in the 80s, 90s,

Speaker 1 even, you know, in the early 2000s, Bob Knight was a bigger than, you know, it felt like he was bigger than the sport at times.

Speaker 1 And he was a character. He was a character through and through.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the thing you can say about Bob Knight is people, there's somebody in the world right now that is getting into a fight with somebody else about Bob Knight's legacy. Yes.

Speaker 1 And that's what Bob Knight probably would have wanted. That's how I want to be remembered.
I want somebody to fight fight somebody else because of my legacy at some point.

Speaker 1 He also, it felt like Bob Knight was a guy who just lived to the extremes in every way.

Speaker 1 Like you could, you read stories about Bob Knight being like, you know, his players loving him and, you know, like helping out other coaches and giving back to the community.

Speaker 1 And then you read stories about him being like a tremendous asshole. He just lived at the extremes at all times.
And those people are interesting. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Those people make the world like a funner place to cover sports and to watch sports and to see these type of characters. So yeah, that, like, I just,

Speaker 1 whenever someone dies, like, you don't have to shit on them right away. No.
You can let it settle for them.

Speaker 1 You can, at the very least, just let them know that you have a check that hasn't been cashed with their name on it. That's the proper way to remember somebody.

Speaker 1 It's like, that guy that just died, I actually own a piece of his memorabilia. Yes.
And it's not really a piece of memorabilia. It's a check that he wrote that was never cashed.
Yes.

Speaker 1 That's another great way to be remembered. Also, Bob Knight, when he gave that speech at Indiana, said, bury me upside down so my critics can kiss my ass.
What a great moment that was.

Speaker 1 What a great moment. He also was the first to call MJ.
There's a lot of stories about Bob Knight being like, MJ is the best player he's ever seen.

Speaker 1 When he coached the Olympic team in 1984, the famous story goes that the Portland Trailblazers with the second pick called Bob Knight and asked him, and they were like, we need a center.

Speaker 1 He's like, so then play Michael Jordan at center.

Speaker 1 And so he, yeah, he's touched all eras of basketball.

Speaker 1 The craziest Bob Knight's stat is he has the last perfect season, which is nuts, 1976, I believe, three national titles, you know, many Final Fours, all these Big Ten championships.

Speaker 1 Bob Knight had one NBA All-Star, Isaiah Thomas. That's crazy.
It's nuts. That's Bob Knight.
He had a system.

Speaker 1 Titus, who we'll have on to maybe do some college basketball preview, said that his dad always used to say, because he obviously grew up in Indiana, huge basketball fan.

Speaker 1 His dad used to always say that Bob Knight can take a bad basketball player and make him good, and a great basketball player and make him good. Consistency.
Yeah. I love to hear that.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's the Bob Knight way. He's the only coach that was smart enough to realize, well, that's Michael Jordan right there.

Speaker 1 The only person on earth good enough to lock down Michael Jordan is Dan Dokich. Yes, yes.
So Bob Knight, I mean, he is, he does, those type of characters make sports more interesting for guys like us.

Speaker 1 They make them fun. Yeah.
Maybe he wasn't always the funnest guy to play for if you were one of his players. Yeah.
Maybe you loved him. Maybe you hated him.

Speaker 1 But again, people right now are getting into a fight because someone's like, Bob Knight was the greatest. And some guy's like, no, Bob Knight was an asshole.
And then they fight about it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And it's great. Bob Knight did, he knew he was an asshole because he said

Speaker 1 many times that he wants his players to hate him because it gives him something in common. They're united.
Yeah. And the one thing they're united is a great way to bring a team.

Speaker 1 It's a chemistry coach. Yeah.
So, all right, let's get to our picks and preview. We got a big, big week

Speaker 1 nine. I keep saying week 10.
I don't want to say week 10. Week nine.
So let's do that. Okay, time for our picks and preview of week 9 in the NFL.
It's Brock.

Speaker 1 Hey, it's PFT here, reminding you that Boars Head makes game day entertaining elevated and effortless.

Speaker 1 Whether you order catering platters ahead from your local Boars Head retailer, or you create your own spread at home with Boars Head premium deli meats and cheeses, you are sure to impress your guests.

Speaker 1 My favorites like oven gold turkey or blazing buffalo-style chicken, paired with their classic Vermont cheddar or creamy Munster cheese, are sure to score big and help me elevate my entertainment every time, whether it's for a tailgate or a home gating celebration.

Speaker 1 Seriously, guys, it's a game-changing flavor for every gathering. Boarshead, committed to craft since 1905.

Speaker 1 Okay, boys, week nine of the NFL, which means when we get to the end of the one o'clock games, we'll be officially at the halfway point of the season. I hate that.
Okay. But now we get football.

Speaker 1 Football, the real football is about to be played. You know what? I'm going to call this Separation Sunday.
Oh, I like it. I like that.

Speaker 1 I just like saying it, and it looks like with these matchups, it might be real because we've got a lot of good matchups, and then we've got a lot of really shitty matchups.

Speaker 1 But the nice thing is, the good matchups, you get one in every block. Yes.
So there's good games going on at any given time. And then you've got a lot of guys.

Speaker 1 And you're like, oh, wait, these two guys are playing quarterback?

Speaker 1 So the good teams are going to play each other. And we're going to find out who's for real.
I like it. It might be Fraud Watch Sunday, too.
Yep. We're going to find out who is for real.

Speaker 1 So let's start it with the game in Germany, Dolphins at Chiefs.

Speaker 1 Now,

Speaker 1 I spent essentially the last three weeks in my head being like, I cannot wait to bet the Chiefs. I thought when they lost to the Broncos, even better.
Now you get the Chiefs under a field goal.

Speaker 1 Patrick Mahomes under a field goal, incredible, but the travel. The travel is an issue.
The Chiefs are getting into Germany like right now. They're practicing.
One time. They're practicing on Friday.

Speaker 1 One time. McDaniel got the guys in there on like Monday or Tuesday.
Monday morning. I think he left Sunday night.
He built in a fun day for them. He's like, you know what?

Speaker 1 I want you to go out and experience Germany, see what it has to offer, go sightseeing, form relationships with your teammates.

Speaker 1 They've got fuck around time in Germany, and that doesn't always end well.

Speaker 1 But for these guys, I feel like it's going to be a good thing where they get practices, they get a day off, they get to hang out, and it's also Mahomes' first time ever going to Europe.

Speaker 1 He's never been to Europe before. Do you have his passport? I don't know.
That's a good question.

Speaker 1 I don't know if they did passport day, but he's excited to go over there and play and have some fun out there per Patrick Mahomes. Oh.
But he's also coming off the flu. He is coming off the flu.

Speaker 1 Nothing worse than having to get on a long flight after the flu. Yeah, like this game, I would love to bet the Chiefs, but the travel is so far in my head and we've seen it.

Speaker 1 We've actually been probably the preeminent travel podcast when it comes to tracking these things. What do we have? The Titans were sleepwalking.
Yep. The Bills, I believe.

Speaker 1 There's a combination of the Titans sleepwalking and the Ravens pass game over in London where they got blown out by like 40 points. And then Harbaugh even said, like, I'm not doing that again.

Speaker 1 And the Bills, I believe, also went late and they sleptwalk against the Jaguars. So, yeah, this is, you have to bet the Titans.
Gotta bet.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry, you bet the Dolphins.

Speaker 1 We're betting on the clock. We're betting on the clock.
That's what we're doing. And the only counterpoint is, what time is it in Honolulu when this game kicks off for Tua?

Speaker 1 I have a really, really stupid Tua stat that means absolutely nothing, but sounds really cool. Okay.
That's basically this show. Yeah.
Tua is 12-1.

Speaker 1 Damn it. Quarterback.
That's my nugget. I was though.
Please don't yell like that.

Speaker 1 That scared the fuck out of me.

Speaker 5 I didn't realize how hot I was.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Tua is 12-1 against quarterback, or sorry, against coaches that have won a Super Bowl. That's pretty good.
But it's not that cool because he's beaten Bill Belichick six times. Six of those times.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so it's like

Speaker 1 I went and looked at it. I was like, it's McVay, Belichick, Gruden, Sean Payton, Belichick a bunch more times, Harbaugh, and Mike Thomas.

Speaker 1 Well, per Henry Lockwood, on part of my take, Belichick's not that good of a head coach. That's true.
So I don't know what this... That's what you said

Speaker 1 on Monday's show, I believe. But that is like a cool stat to act.
But it's dumb. Because once you look at it, you're like, it's 6-0 against

Speaker 1 Bill Belichick. And the only time he's lost, Andy Reid.
Okay, that's relevant. That's when it gets relevant.
That's relevant. But beating Belichick six times is pretty good.
That is pretty cool.

Speaker 1 But when you say 12-1, you're like, damn, he beats all the Super Bowl winning head coaches. Yeah.
Well, he just beat Belichick six times. I got some,

Speaker 1 I dove deep into the grass at this stadium. Last night I ended up watching two 10-minute long videos of the guys installing the grass.

Speaker 1 They do like a whole behind the scenes of what happens because last year, you remember,

Speaker 1 who played over in Europe last year? Maybe the Bucks? The Bucks might have played there. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The grass was an issue. Everybody was slipping everywhere.
It was a bad scene. They fixed it? So the NFL just cucked the shit out of the Bundesliga.

Speaker 1 And they said, if we're going to play a game over here next year, the NFL is going to choose what type of grass you want to play on. So in Bermuda? So it's a hybrid.

Speaker 1 It's a hybrid. So it's like 90% grass, 10% synthetic woven into it.
Interesting. So they put it down a week ago.
Apparently, it got rave reviews in the first soccer game.

Speaker 1 I don't know how that translates to the NFL, but it's a brand new grass system that they have over there.

Speaker 1 It's like grass with hair plugs. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The top of Dave's head.

Speaker 1 Exactly.

Speaker 1 It was grown in Holland, and then they moved the grass to Germany and installed it in Germany. I'm going to say right now the grass is going to suck.
You can't move grass from Holland to Germany.

Speaker 1 Why not? I feel like

Speaker 1 something bad happens there. Well, if it's grass grown in Holland, there must be some other stuff in there.
That's true. That's true.
That'd be awesome if they played a game on hemp on a hemp field.

Speaker 1 Hemp was the future for a while. Oh, he's still.

Speaker 1 Everyone's like, hemp clothes, hemp this, sustainable hemp. George Washington was 50% hemp.
Hemp, yeah. His teeth were hemp.
Horse teeth. They said,

Speaker 1 they did an interview with Tyreek Hill this week, and they asked him what to look for going in this game. And he said, you guys get it all wrong.
I'm not the most important player on this team.

Speaker 1 Two is not the most important player on this team. You know who is? Alec Ingold.
The fullback. Love that.
Just got paid. Therefore, Alec Ingold, anytime touchdown this weekend.

Speaker 1 The only thing I'm nervous about, so I probably will take the Dolphins.

Speaker 1 The Chiefs.

Speaker 1 Lead the league in drops. They drop more balls against the Broncos, so I'm sure their lead has grown.

Speaker 1 After the Broncos game, Patrick Holmes kind kind of like weirdly said, Yeah, they did a good job of taking away 87, and it's not great when they do that, when taking away Travis Kelsey, which it seems like, why hasn't more teams been doing this?

Speaker 1 I think maybe teams will start doing it because all their wide receivers drop balls, and they're starting to be like, hey, you know what wouldn't be the worst is seeing if Kadarius Toney can catch like 10 balls.

Speaker 1 Has the NFL figured out Travis Kelsey finally? Well, I think the NFL has finally figured out that the Chiefs might have some work in progress when it comes to to the wide receiver position.

Speaker 1 I am of a firm belief that even if the Chiefs lose this game, I'm not freaking out about the Chiefs. I think they're still a Super Bowl-winning caliber team.

Speaker 1 And the Broncos game was a weird game, and they might lose to the Dolphins, but they do have to figure out guys who can catch the ball. It was a flu game.
We can write it off to the bottom.

Speaker 1 It was a flu game. And their defense is good, and they should run the ball more.

Speaker 1 Andy Reid, we're back in the full circle of Andy Reid being like, hey, in the red zone, maybe have Isaiah Pacheco run the ball. No, he he doesn't do that.
Andy Reid's not going to do that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's going to throw some weird screen passes every now and again, and he'll be like, that's basically the same as running the football. The running back has the ball in his hand.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Nerd nugget since you screamed in our ear.

Speaker 1 By the way, that just shows how unbiased I am because that was a stat I brought and I was like, this stat stinks.

Speaker 5 Dolphins fans will love that.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, that stat stinks.
It's a great stat. No, it's not because it's six out of 12 is Belichick.

Speaker 5 So he's beaten Sean Bayton, Sean Payton twice, Sean McVay, John Gruden, John Harbaugh, and Mike Tomlin. But his own loss against Andy Reid, December 13th.

Speaker 1 Oh, you didn't find a new nerd nugget? You couldn't think on the fly?

Speaker 1 I could have. Good stat.
It was a good stat. Hank's messing with my headphones right now.
That's good. Yeah, I asked him to turn it down.
I think the damn that.

Speaker 1 Now we're just not on. You know what? Jake, Jake dropped the hardest cuss.
That word I've ever heard in my life. Now we're really loud.

Speaker 1 Jake, are you a bad boy now?

Speaker 5 I'm mad at myself.

Speaker 1 I apologize. You scared the fuck out of me.
Now I'm going. I feel it.
Damn it. It's okay, Jake.
Next play. Next play.
Next play. Next play.
You know what?

Speaker 1 Let's start with Seahawks Ravens, and why don't you give us the nerd nuggets to start?

Speaker 1 Better be good.

Speaker 5 Ravens safety. Geno Stone leads the NFL with five interceptions.
He's recorded a pick in three straight games in four of his last five.

Speaker 5 His five interceptions tie Ed Reed in 2007 for most by a Raven through the first eight games of a season.

Speaker 1 Okay, all right.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I do like the Ravens defense.
They're legit and very legit. I also like Kenneth Walker a lot.
I've realized that every time I look at Kenneth Walker, he's breaking off something special.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but all right, so my problem with Kenneth Walker, I feel like in the first quarter of every game, he has like a 40-yard run and then he doesn't do anything else after. He's okay.

Speaker 1 This is also just based fully, anecdotally, on the last game, just so before Seahawks fans correct me and be like, that's not true. I'm literally basing it on one game.

Speaker 1 They also stop giving him the ball sometimes. Yeah.
Like they, he should be a bell cow. You know what? I'm calling on Pete Carroll.
Make Kenneth Walker a bell cow running back.

Speaker 1 Well, keep him the ball. Pete wants to let Geno cook.
He does, but let Kenneth walk.

Speaker 1 The big story here is we had a couple of weird

Speaker 1 quotes. We'll get to Antonio Pierce and the Raiders and the Giants, but Gus Edwards said this week, I'm ready for it.
I'm hoping I get a big load again this week.

Speaker 1 Craving those loads. He wants a load.
He wants a big load. Yeah, give it to him.

Speaker 1 This is... DK will do it.
I'm so excited about this game because

Speaker 1 I do think the Seahawks are good, but in the back of my head, I'm like, maybe the Ravens are really good and they just smash them.

Speaker 1 And maybe they just go, it's crazy looking at the splits, how bad Gino is against Mann. And the Ravens can play both.

Speaker 1 So I don't know. I feel like the Ravens, like last week, was kind of a sleepwalk.
They beat the Cardinals. They probably should have beat them by more.

Speaker 1 And they were playing not a great, like, that was like a B-minus, C plus effort from them. This week, I feel like they're going to get up.
And we've talked about it all year.

Speaker 1 Lamar Jackson versus the NFC. Yep.
Not ready for that speed. Dominant.
And the Seahawks, I would feel more comfortable betting on them this week if

Speaker 1 they hadn't taken first place in the division.

Speaker 1 Now too many people are talking about the Seahawks. I liked it before when we were like the Seahawks are good.
Plus 400. We were on it.
Keep your eye on the Seahawks.

Speaker 1 But now that they're in that top spot, every casual out there is going to look at the standings and be like, wow, the Seahawks are good. The Seahawks are good.
Yeah, we knew the Seahawks were good.

Speaker 1 Now they might be too good that they might be bad again. I do like Leonard Williams beefing up that defensive line.
That is a good trade. That is a good pickup.
I'd say that's good. It's releasing.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And

Speaker 1 he actually said it was

Speaker 1 a situation where they were the, who's the GM for the Giants?

Speaker 1 Shoan? Is that right? Joe? Sure. Joe Shoan.
Yeah, Joe Shoan.

Speaker 1 You don't hear it often, but he went to Leonard Williams and like, hey, we weren't going to trade you, but the Seahawks called you cool with this. And he was like, yeah.
Yeah, I would want to go.

Speaker 1 Doesn't happen often. Hell yeah.
GM's like, hey, you cool with this? One reason I do like the Seahawks, though, is they've got a good secondary, the Legion of Spoon, Legion of Spoon guys. Yep.

Speaker 1 And I feel like they're going to do some damage against that Ravens passing attack. We are on Odell Beckham touchdown watch, but

Speaker 1 I feel like the Seahawks defense is good enough to shut down the passing, but then Lamar just might decide, okay,

Speaker 1 I'm going to just run the ball. I'm going to run, run, run it.

Speaker 1 I have that Ravens-Lions game in my head where, like, maybe the Ravens are a big game type of team. They play down to their competition.
Does this loss to the Colts?

Speaker 1 Like, they, you know, the Cardinals covered the spread. Do the Ravens.
I, I, like, maybe it's not as simple as I've made it in my head. It's basically: Ravens play

Speaker 1 inferior opponent, take the inferior opponent. Ravens play an NFC team, take the Ravens.

Speaker 1 Ravens take the AFC North team, just take the underdog. Does this count as a big game? I think this is a big game.
It's a big game. It's a big game.
It's a big game.

Speaker 1 I think this might be the biggest game of the early Slate. It's absolutely a big game.
Yeah, big game.

Speaker 1 Okay. Next up, Vikings and Falcons.
Taylor Heineke time. We finally made it.
We got it. We made it there, guys.
He also had a great Halloween costume this week. Did you see that? No.

Speaker 1 So him and his girlfriend, our wife, I don't know, but they went together. She dressed up like

Speaker 1 a car with lights on her boobs. And then he went as a deer that just stared at her boobs all night, deer in the headlights.
I did see that. Pretty good.
That's awesome.

Speaker 1 Pretty creative work by Taylor Heineke. So he would be getting some purple and gold Jordans if they win this weekend.
I'm excited to see that.

Speaker 1 Flores is the biggest Blitzer in the NFL. He sends the Blitz more often than any other team.
Heineke is very good against the Blitz. So I like the Falcons in this.

Speaker 1 I also continue to love Arthur Smith with all my heart. We've talked about his fantasy football fuckery.
He also just tried to gaslight the entire American public because it was one week ago today

Speaker 1 that he said Arthur Smith says Desmond Ritter criticism due to toxic group think, a lot of people don't watch film.

Speaker 1 And then he was like, Taylor Heineke's now the starter. Well,

Speaker 1 he was like,

Speaker 1 he got us all off the scent for a second. He's like, you guys are idiots.
You're all fucking group things. Like, no, I think we're right.
And he's like, yeah, you know what? You're right.

Speaker 1 I was joking. I think he's using an excuse, too, because he's saying that Ritter, he's not right.
He's not like, he's not himself right now. Oh.
So Heineke.

Speaker 1 I think he's still saying that Heineke is a temporary starter. Okay.
But I think that if Heineke. So he's still gaslighting us.
Yes, yeah.

Speaker 1 So if Heineke plays well, then Arthur Smith will be like, well, you know,

Speaker 1 we got to ride the hot hand for a little bit, and then we'll go back to Ritter once Heineke starts stinking. But no, I think Heineke is going to take this job.

Speaker 1 Yeah, as for Jaron Hall, QB's making their first career starter 38, 70, and 1 straight up in the last decade. Okay.
Not great. No,

Speaker 1 not what you like to see. And they're 3-15 straight up on the road.
Do we know if Nick Mullins, is he still on the IR? Have they brought him off yet? Or is Josh Newton? No, I think it's week 10.

Speaker 1 So Dobbs is going to be QB2? Dobbs is going to be QB2. Okay.
Pastronaut. I love it.

Speaker 1 I love the Falcons this weekend.

Speaker 1 I think if Dobbs can get in this game, if Dobbs does get in this game, he'll probably be good because it'll be in relief. Yeah.
And fresh start. Who is that? Was that Freeman?

Speaker 1 Was that Josh Freeman that played for, I think he played for the Vikings after like three days? He did the Baker Mayfield.

Speaker 1 Yeah, where he got traded and then started on the Vikings and probably had the worst game ever in the history of football. You got to learn the play.

Speaker 1 It's tough to step in after just a couple days on the team.

Speaker 1 I think what we can take out of this week, if nothing else, the fact that the Vikings did not sign Carson Wentz, I think there's still some justice in that. That's nice.

Speaker 1 I think we're all winners for not having to watch Carson Wentz on Sunday. Wait, you love the Falcons in this game? I do.
I do. So the only reason I do.
I just love Taylor Heineke.

Speaker 1 I love Taylor Heineke too. I just don't know if the Falcons can win by more than four and a half against anyone.
I think they can. They feel like a team that just will play.
It will be a late red zone

Speaker 1 fun game where we're like, oh, shit. Get your eyes on this.
Yeah. Last possession.
Even last week, they almost won.

Speaker 1 Should we have the conversation about Jordan Addison that we had about Justin Jefferson like three weeks ago? If you're a Jordan Addison, should you sit sit out for the rest of the season?

Speaker 1 Should you trade him? Yeah. Sit out for the rest of the season.
You're too valuable. Try to get a contract this offseason.

Speaker 1 Just like have the two of them playing chicken with each other the whole time. It is kind of a bummer because Addison looked awesome.
Yeah, I think the Vikings are going to be a little galvanized.

Speaker 1 Like, hey, we're playing good ball, the NFC. Who's going to be the seventh seed in the NFC? Somebody's the biggest question.
Somebody bad. Somebody bad.

Speaker 1 Somebody might be a second team from the NFC South. Yeah.
Which is crazy. Because if you go through it, Saints and Falcons.

Speaker 1 It's like, no doubters. Obviously, things can change.
Niners, Eagles, Cowboys, Lions,

Speaker 1 NFC South Representative,

Speaker 1 Seahawks,

Speaker 1 seventh.

Speaker 1 I like how we put the Niners first as a no-doubter above the Seahawks. Yeah, that's true.
That are beating them right now.

Speaker 1 But seventh is going to be a combination of like Saints, Bucs, Falcons, Vikings.

Speaker 1 Yuck.

Speaker 1 Bad. Yuck.
Bad. Bad team.
Commanders, if they win a couple. No, no, we're not doing that.
Rams. We're not going to do that.
Bad teams.

Speaker 1 I could be talked into. I know I was pretty down on them, like Fire Sale, get rid of everybody.

Speaker 1 I could still be. I could always be talked into the Commanders, maybe squeaking.
Dude, if they win this week? I've seen weird shit happen in the NFC East.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if they win this week, all right, what's the nerd nugget? Because let's talk about the Commanders-Patriots next.

Speaker 5 Vikings rookie wide receiver Jordan Addison joined Elite Company last Sunday. He became the sixth player in Super Bowl era to catch their seventh touchdown in the first eight games.

Speaker 1 He's shut it down.

Speaker 1 Shut down for the season. You're too valuable.
Shut it down. All right, Commanders Patriots.
How are we feeling, boys? I mean, we have an opportunity to beat a Super Bowl-winning coach.

Speaker 1 It's very hard to do in this league. This would make Sam Howell, I think,

Speaker 1 one and two if he can beat Bill Belichick in

Speaker 1 lifetime Super Bowl-winning coaches.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, wait, no, wait. The Eagles lost the Super Bowl.
Yeah, they did this year. They did.
I forgot about that.

Speaker 1 This is a win-win for me. I think, you know, if they lose, it's better drafts capital.
But then you lose to PFT. And if we lose it,

Speaker 1 we beat PFT,

Speaker 1 and I can just hold that over him forever. In a year where we're tanking, we can still be the commanders.
And we're not tanking. It's a tank off.

Speaker 1 Really, the loser of this team, of this game wins. Winner takes Belichick? Is that where you're going to, you know, oh, yeah, there's some fan fiction out here out there?

Speaker 1 Since you brought it up, Hank.

Speaker 1 I mean, this is funny because usually we just take Mike Florio's fan fiction, run with it on the show just to piss Hank off.

Speaker 1 I think Florio took our fan fiction that we came up with on this show, which is that Josh Harris wants a big splash. He wants a big name coach.

Speaker 1 Belichick, probably at the end of his tenure in New England, why not get him to D.C.? He can coach La Crosse at the Naval Academy. Annapolis is like 30 minutes from FedEx Field.

Speaker 1 It's probably everything that he's wanted. He probably really wants to coach for the Commanders.

Speaker 1 It was a Florio fanfiction special because the report basically just said, like, when the year ends, the Commanders might reach out to Belichick.

Speaker 1 They'll reach out to Kraft to see what it would take to get Belichick. I think these conversations are happening.
Which means nothing. I think you know who's making this.
No, no, no.

Speaker 1 Conversations where Josh Harris are like, we need to get a big coach. Yeah, who's the biggest coach? Bill Belichick.
That'd be cool. Well, thank you.
Florio. Conversation over.

Speaker 1 The entire article was basically Florio saying it would make sense in my mind if this happened, which is a great way to put a report out there without putting a report out there.

Speaker 1 Here's how it's going to happen, though, Hank. What's the common denominator here between Josh Harris and Bill Belichick?

Speaker 1 Bad handshakes. Awkward.
Awkward. There's a guy that's been on part of my take.
Ruben? I feel like Ruben is.

Speaker 1 What does Ruben do? Ruben and Kraft are aligned. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 Ruben is going to be the go-between. Ruben's going to make this deal happen for me.
Would this just destroy you if PFT got to root for Bill Belichick every weekend?

Speaker 1 I would become the biggest Bill Belichick apologist. I think so.
Like, I would, I would, no.

Speaker 1 It's like when people said, you know, to destroy Brady won a Super Bowl. I was rooting for Brady.
I'd be rooting for, I would, I would like to, you know, join up with my guy, PFT, and

Speaker 1 see Belichick bring a team to their first Super Bowl in forever. No, it would destroy you.
You got low-key destroyed when Brady won that Super Bowl. I didn't.

Speaker 1 I bet, like, I made the biggest bet of my life on the Bucs.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 but ever since then.

Speaker 1 What if we got McDaniels and Belichick, get the gang back together in D.C.?

Speaker 1 Whole Squadron. All the better.
Yeah, fuck it. Whole squad.
So how you feel confident in this game? No. Okay.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't either because Kendrick Bourne being out for the season, it feels like that's the one bright spot that you guys had. Defense is banged up, offense is bad.

Speaker 1 Washington just traded their whole defense, which, by the way, can't feel good to be Chase Young right now because it feels like everyone was pissed that Montez Sweat got traded and everyone was kind of happy Chase Young got traded.

Speaker 1 Yeah. With some like leaks and being like, yeah, he didn't play team defense and all this stuff.

Speaker 1 That's kind of what I've been saying about Chase Young. I actually think it's good for both the Bears and the Niners.
The Niners get like a rental. And they all

Speaker 1 get a guy who's not the dude. Like he has to slot in underneath Bosa.
Yeah, he's going to go there and he can't be acting like he's the baddest dude ever on the defense.

Speaker 1 He has to kind of humble himself a little bit. He can still make some splash plays and he's been pretty good this year.
But Montez Sweat, Big Cat, can we have the conversation about Montez Sweat?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Because when the trade went down, both our reaction was the same, which was you guys got a very good player.
He's a better player overall than Chase Young. He's on the field.

Speaker 1 He's more productive.

Speaker 4 He's a dude.

Speaker 1 We also thought there's no chance in hell the Bears don't extend him when they give up a second-round pitch, which I also still think is true.

Speaker 1 I still think he's going to be extended, but Montez Sweat said yesterday that he's not close to making a decision on that.

Speaker 1 Ideally, you would want the deal to be basically done, but

Speaker 1 okay, so people were running with this quote. What the fuck do we think Montez Sweat is going to say? He has leverage right now.

Speaker 1 Why would he be like, yeah, I'm here and we're about to sign a long-term deal? Ryan Poles came out and like, we're working. The first thing we're doing is working on a long-term deal.

Speaker 1 So everyone was, listen, the Bears are a joke of an organization. I get it.
They're fodder for everyone on the internet. I understand how this game is played.

Speaker 1 People just looked at Montez Sweat's quote and just ignored Ryan Pohl's quote. Of course, Montez Sweat is going to be like, yeah, I don't know, like, I'm not close to signing.

Speaker 1 He would be an idiot to be like, yeah, I want to be on the Bears long term and say that. And then all of his leverage is gone.
Ryan Pole is going to get it done. And if he doesn't, he's fired.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's fired.

Speaker 1 He should be if he doesn't get it done. Of course.

Speaker 1 Clearly fireball. Of course.

Speaker 1 So that, like, it was, it was, I understood it, but it was also maddening that everyone was running with just montez sweats comment and not ryan pulls so i went from a hundred percent he's going to be extended when the deal was done to now i'm like 95 he's going to get the extension done he's going to get it done because ryan paul's job is literally on the line it is

Speaker 1 okay he might have to overpay him i don't know i just it was

Speaker 1 That is just how it works. The Bears get clowned.
I get it. They deserve to get clowned.
There's a lot of shit that they need to be clowned for.

Speaker 1 But this one, everyone was just going with one quote and just ignoring the other quote that Ryan Poles is like, the first thing we're doing is working on an extension.

Speaker 1 And if anybody out there is saying, wow, the Bears should be embarrassed that they gave up a second-round pick and the Niners only gave up a third rounder for Chase Young, you're telling on yourself that you don't watch ball.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you don't watch ball. I've watched every snap that those guys have taken.

Speaker 1 Not only that, but Chase Young has not been able to stay on the field. Yeah.
That matters.

Speaker 1 Let's see. Where was the exact quote?

Speaker 1 Ryan Poles.

Speaker 1 Ryan Poles says the Bears are working to to get a contract done now with Montez Sweat. Okay, good.
So, like, that was ignored somehow by everyone online.

Speaker 1 The 5%, when I say 95% chance the deal gets done, the 5% is my personal delusion because I have considered a world in which Montez Sweat is just such a fan of Washington that he's like, you know what, trade me, and then I'm not going to do the deal.

Speaker 1 And then secretly, I'm going to come back to you guys in the offseason.

Speaker 1 Everyone's fan fiction about every team that ever trades anyone. What if it happens? It could.

Speaker 1 What if Juan Soto comes back to DC, too? It could.

Speaker 1 Also, the Commanders are 1-0 this week.

Speaker 1 We had an organizational win, as reported by Diana Rossini on Tuesday, that we had an organizational win based on the fact that we were able to trade away two players and get two draft picks.

Speaker 1 So we're 1-0 during the week. We're riding a hot streak, and we're going to the Lighthouse, and we're going to take the Lighthouse out.

Speaker 1 And Hank, I told you before we sat down that there should be some stakes involved. Yes.
And I said, think of a bet. I don't want you to tell me.
And so Hank has an idea for a bet.

Speaker 1 Yeah, my idea is we're obviously still decorating the studio. It's still active.
Things are moving around. You'll probably notice in the background things are changing kind of episode by episode.

Speaker 1 There is that poll behind PFT that if the Patriots would win, I would like to paint a replica of the Patriots lighthouse. So it's just always behind him.
No.

Speaker 1 If the Commanders win, are you willing to admit I want a full written apology, maybe even a PowerPoint on how it's a fraud lighthouse? No, that has nothing to do with it. No, because it should be.

Speaker 1 It's only stakes on my side. What about yours? Well, I'm open to stakes.
Okay, so there it is. It's just a bet with me and PFT or meeting.
I'll talk to PFT.

Speaker 1 PFT, you should make him admit that it's a fraud lighthouse and do a PowerPoint and apologize.

Speaker 1 I think you should admit it's a fraud lighthouse. Good idea.
And you should do a PowerPoint and apologize.

Speaker 1 And you should change your X.com bio to say the lighthouse in New England is fraudulent. Cape Hatteras Lighthouse is the tallest lighthouse in North America.
Period. End of sentence, double period.

Speaker 1 And maybe also on your hinge profile, too.

Speaker 1 You're not a Rhea?

Speaker 1 They won't let me on, Raya. It's crazy.

Speaker 1 What else do you have to do?

Speaker 1 I don't know. I've gotten recommendations.
They probably think you don't have a job. They don't want me because you have a vacation.
They don't want me.

Speaker 1 I will do that. My only condition is that

Speaker 1 I'll just acknowledge Cape Hatteras as the tallest lighthouse in the world or whatever. No, you have to say you have a fraud lighthouse.

Speaker 1 I'm going to do that via PowerPoint presentation. And in your X.com bio, it just says the Cape Hatteras Lighthouse is the tallest in North America.
All right. Period.
You got a bet.

Speaker 1 End of sentence, double period. I love it.
All right. And it has to stay up there for the entire football season.
Now, is this spread or straight up? I mean, it's got to be straight up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, straight up. I mean, the Patriots shouldn't be favored by three points against anybody right now.
Okay. Also, we're going next man up in D.C.
You forget about next man up.

Speaker 1 It is actually, I mean, it's a real thing that there's guys who have been backups who now get to play for a contract. Yeah, it's real.

Speaker 1 If this was, you know, my team aside, I would love the Commanders in this spot as a hungry dog watching.

Speaker 1 Sam Howell's first half last week was like the Patriots game was on and they were playing ugly.

Speaker 1 And then the Commanders game was on the other TV and Sam Howell is just throwing dime after dime after dime after dime. Yeah, Sammy Dimes.
And Belichick's going to see this team up close.

Speaker 1 He's going to fall in love with it. He's going to be doing the binocular meme, just looking at our guys on the sidelines.
Man, damn, I wish I could coach for the Washington Command.

Speaker 1 Damn, they could use some dogs on their defense. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Only difference between Mac and Sam Howell is coaching, though. Remember that.
That's true. That's true.
Good point, Mac. That's coaching.
All right, nerd nugget.

Speaker 5 Commanders quarterback Sam Howell eclipsed 2,000 passing yards and 200 completions last week, becoming the 10th quarterback all time to reach 200 completions through nine career games.

Speaker 5 It's the fastest in franchise history.

Speaker 1 Wow. Wow.
We've got got a lot of great quarterbacks in our history, too. Wow.
Okay, Bears at Saints next. We talked about Montez Sweat.
I have to just quickly say something about Matt Eberflus.

Speaker 1 He had a quote yesterday. Well, first of all, the Bears have now fired a second coach under mysterious circumstances that H.R.
was involved in. Why do they keep saying HR was involved in this firing?

Speaker 1 That's such a weird go-to line to say. He also,

Speaker 1 or Matt Iberflu said that there's a bunch of guys, or no, I think Ryan Pohl said there's a bunch of guys with integrity here. And it's like,

Speaker 1 how? Do we have one guy who has all the integrity that's raising the average? Because we've fired two coaches now, HR involved under mysterious things. Iberflues said, we set the expectations day one.

Speaker 1 You have to treat everybody with respect and be on time. Yeah.
So he did one of the two bad things that you're not supposed to do. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So Iberflues said the culture in our building is outstanding, noting that the Bears are 2-2 in their last four games, just forgetting the fact that they were 3-18 before that. 2-2 in their last,

Speaker 1 that's a massive, massive upswing. Ryan Poles also credited Matt Eberflus for

Speaker 1 taking on adversity and overcoming adversity. I don't think you get credit when the adversity is being a bad coach.
If you bring on your own adversity, then you overcome it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like he's doing a great job coaching a bad coach team. Yeah.
But he's the coach. He's outperforming expectations that he set for himself with his past history.

Speaker 1 Like, imagine having to coach a bad coach team, that you made a bad coach team. It's hard.
That's adversity. It is.

Speaker 1 It's like when Dogecoin pops like 5%, you're like, wow, it's really overcoming some adversity right now. Yeah.

Speaker 1 There's also some weird things going on that people in the Chicago media think that the Bears were leaking bad stories to NBC on Sunday Night Football about Justin Fields trying to like basically

Speaker 1 start to move away from him. Hmm.
Did they make him wear sunglasses on the sideline? That might have been it.

Speaker 1 We can at least get Big Cat to be mad about this. Yeah, that was very funny when you were angry for like 15 seconds.
I was. It's the loss.
I talked about it with Max after. It's really just the loss.

Speaker 1 Like when you lose, it's just

Speaker 1 you have to, you can't wear sunglasses when you lose. You don't want to stand out at all.
Right. It's like when a quarterback, when Cam Newton would give his post-game

Speaker 1 like media availability and he'd step up to the podium and he'd wear, he would be dressed like a lamp from the 70s.

Speaker 1 It's like, hey, dude, you should have a a winning outfit that you wear and then a losing outfit that you wear because if you lose, everyone's going to talk about your cowboy hat with tassels on it.

Speaker 1 Right. Like, remember when Fitzpatrick went on his winning streak with the Bucs and he was wearing like the, you know, the chest hair popping out and everything?

Speaker 1 If he did that after a loss, I'd be like, what the fuck is this guy doing? Yeah. Just go in sweats after a loss.
Okay, so, yeah, I mean, maybe Tyson Bagent. I don't know.

Speaker 1 The Bears just, they keep making lines that are like, ooh, eight and a half. They pay them too.
Yeah. These guys get paid to play football.

Speaker 1 The stat about Derek Carr I'm looking at, though, is he is the worst quarterback against the spread when he's a favorite in the NFL right now.

Speaker 1 So this is lifetime for Derek Carr. He stinks against the spread as a favorite.
He's one and five against the spread as a Saint when he's a favorite.

Speaker 1 However, the coin has the Saints winning 8-0. So

Speaker 1 this would be 9-0 for the coin if they win. I've told everyone,

Speaker 1 if you like the Saints this week, which you should because they'll beat the Bears, bet them to win

Speaker 1 the division. Now's the time.
It's a free win.

Speaker 1 Bet every team who play every team who plays the Bears, just bet that team to win the division because you know you'll get at least better odds once they beat the Bears. It's a fact.

Speaker 1 It's a fail-proof way to go about this gambling. And I am rooting against the Bears.
Nothing personal.

Speaker 1 But I want the pick now. You want the pick now, and then I want Montez Sweat back in the offseason.
I understand. All right, nerd nugget.

Speaker 5 New Bears defensive end.

Speaker 5 Montez Sweat is one of six NFL players to record at least five sacks and ten quarterback kicks in each of his first five seasons, joining Brian Burns, Max Crosby, Chris Jones, Miles Garrett, and TJ Watt.

Speaker 1 Those are pretty good players that he's lumped together with. Ideally, you would want a guy like that on your team.

Speaker 1 Do you think we could hang out with him, Montez? Yeah. I got a lot in common.
I follow Sweat. I hit him up.
Yeah, he's a good guy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I could follow him. I mean, I did follow him.
I could hit him up. Yeah, hit him up.

Speaker 1 Let him know, like, hey, if you're looking for some good dive bars, if you want to go drink some alluret with me, I'll show you the ropes in Chicago to D.C. guys that are new to the city.

Speaker 1 Credit to me. Just want to say this has nothing to do with Montez Sweat.
There's a kid who's 7'3 who's deciding between Purdue and Wisconsin to play basketball next year.

Speaker 1 He's deciding on Friday, and I wrote the DM, didn't send it. That's good.
Yeah. 17-year-old.
It's good. That's progress.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 That was progress because I started the DM and I was like, wait, what are you doing? This is bad. Where's he from? I don't know.
Okay.

Speaker 1 But yeah. But he's tall.
He's 7'3. He's tall and he could go to Wisconsin.

Speaker 1 I was going to like the the DM was like you know congrats on deciding enjoy the day if you have any questions about Madison Let me know and I was like stop it. This is a 17 year old.
You're 38.

Speaker 1 So Daniel Jacobson.

Speaker 5 Yeah. 2024 three-star Friday 6 p.m.
Eastern.

Speaker 1 What about Baron Trump? Where are we at with Darren? Baron Trump's process.

Speaker 1 I mean, just think about how good he'd be on the court. He'd be sick.
Baron Trump, number one overall NBA draft pick would be hilarious. Is he a problem?

Speaker 6 The pro football football show is presented by the Chevy Silverado. Built for the hustle, ready for the game, Chevy Silverado is America's most dependable full-size truck.

Speaker 6 Whether you're grinding through the week or gearing up for kickoff, the Silverado is one ride that's always game ready. Just like football, it's about grit, grind, and getting it done.

Speaker 6 Head to Chevy.com to learn more and build your own Chevy Silverado.

Speaker 1 Okay, moving along. Cardinals and Browns.
Clayton Toon versus PJ Walker. We can't wait.
Oh, man, I can't wait. What a great game this is.

Speaker 1 I've talked myself a little bit to Clayton Toon, though.

Speaker 1 I have not i kind of have i watched some of his preseason tape um i don't think pj walker is that much better than clayton toon that's what i'm going off of pj walker's never lost a start at home in professional football okay nfl and nfl kevin stefansky stinks when he's a favorite okay stinks 10 10 and 10 and 20 against the spread clayton toon has to go up against the browns defense

Speaker 1 Also, the Cardinals defense is like last or second to last in basically every metric. Yeah.
That Cowboys win that they had really carried a lot of water. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It really set, it really got us off the scent for a while there. I think also the Cardinals are injured.
The Browns, I keep going back to P.J. Walker.

Speaker 1 The game plan for Stefanski should be what we talked to him about this offseason. Run the damn ball.
Run the damn ball.

Speaker 1 Stefanski, if you run the damn ball, I know you don't have Chunt anymore because Chubb's out, but you got Jerome Ford. So you got Jareem Funt.
at your running back position. Yep.

Speaker 1 Kareem Hunt's still good. Run the damn ball.
Run the damn ball. That's all you got to do.
Run the damn ball. And that's our Browns Cardinals.
That's really all we need to say for it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think the Browns are going to kill him. That's all I got.

Speaker 1 I do. I just think the defense, like Clayton Toon, having just started his first game against the Browns defense, is not going to be fun.
And what's the spread now? Is it

Speaker 1 seven and a half? Yeah. If he gets up to eight, I'm going to bet the Cardinals.
That's your buy point. Oh, it's eight.
Eight. Going to bet the Cardinals.
Cardinals.

Speaker 1 No, wait. Take back.
Take back.

Speaker 1 I'm going to bet the Cardinals first half again. Yes.
Cardinals first half. Keep riding it.
Keep riding it. All right, nerd nugget.

Speaker 5 Run the damn ball indeed. This is a matchup between two of the top five rushing attacks in the league.

Speaker 5 Cleveland's second, Arizona's fourth. Teams have combined eight players who have rushed for at least 100 yards this season.

Speaker 1 I'm shocked that the Cardinals are fourth in the league. I guess James Conner was getting off to a pretty good start.
And they've got DiMarcado.

Speaker 5 Yeah, Mari DiMercado.

Speaker 1 It's a great name. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So maybe make it like an Army-Navy game. Just run.
Just run the damn ball. Just run.
All right. Next game, bad game.
Rams-Packers. These teams stink.

Speaker 1 and matt stafford might not play so we got brett rippin brett rippin matt staffer might not play and if he does play i think it's going to be cold and maybe a little rainy which means you can't grip the football he's got a thumb injury tough i still like the rams i feel like sean mcvey if you got a shitty quarterback sean mcvay can make the most out of it that's a fact right and matt lafleur he's had uh eight weeks to work with a shitty quarterback and what gutenkutsk or whatever his name is the gm the gm said about jordan love which is like jordan love is not quite what we're looking for just yet.

Speaker 1 I don't believe in Jordan Love. He's not wrong, but he said it out loud.
Well, listen, I think Jordan Love, you know, doesn't have a lot of receivers. Offensive line stinks.

Speaker 1 You got to give him some more time. He's a young prospect.
He's a young prospect. He's in his fourth year, but that doesn't matter.
You've got to give him some more time.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, he's basically a rookie. Where are you going, Hank?

Speaker 1 Oh, he's turning on the TV again. He's basically a rookie right now.
He's basically a rookie. Yeah, but he stinks.
I also,

Speaker 1 the Rams can't run the football, and that's where the Packers are kind of can be gashed. So, yeah, I think I'm just going to keep buying low on the Packers.
I'm also interested in Brett Rippen.

Speaker 1 I'm interested in him from like that's that's a curious guy to maybe watch play football because he loves to turn the ball over. No, no, but Hank, I know you're shaking your head.

Speaker 1 He takes a lot of chance. He's going to be fun.
I'm not saying he's going to be good. I think Brett Rippon might be a fun quarterback.
13 for 27, 112 yards. No, no, one touchdown, two interceptions.

Speaker 1 You don't watch ball. Brett Rippin' is going to go 17 for 25,

Speaker 1 and he's going to throw one touchdown, two interceptions, and he's going to have 228 yards. That's gross.

Speaker 1 He's still going to throw two picks. That's fun, I guess.
And they're going to win.

Speaker 1 He has four touchdowns and eight interceptions on his career. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 He loves picks. He does love picks.
Yeah. It seems like he very much loves picks.

Speaker 1 Okay. Oh, he had one game.
When was this? Oh, did he come into relief? Yeah, he came in relief last week, I think.

Speaker 1 I remember he started the game when Blake Bortles got COVID. You remember that one? Yes.
It was like the Broncos and the Jets, I think, on Thursday night. Blake Bortles gave the entire Broncos COVID.

Speaker 1 I was trying to spin it the other way. Yeah.
Where Blake Bortles got assaulted by COVID.

Speaker 1 All-time Blake Bortles move. We love him for that.
Yeah. Yeah, no,

Speaker 1 he had a game where he went 19 for 31, 242, two touchdowns, and three interceptions. Yeah, see, that's fun.
That's a full full stat line. He's fun.
That's a full stat line. Okay, nerd nugget.

Speaker 5 According to Spotrack, the Packers and Rams are the two youngest teams in the NFL. The Packers have an average age of 25.3, Rams, 25.8.
Packers, 24 rookies, Rams, 21.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah, I mean, is it good if your rookies stink? Probably not.
If you stink and it's

Speaker 1 more young, they have to get even younger. Yeah.
The Packers are like as close as you can get to having the debate of if the best college team could beat the worst NFL team. Yeah, they're young.

Speaker 1 They did in week one. They're young.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 The Bucs at Texans.

Speaker 1 This is going to be a fun game. This is a decide what you are game.
Like the Bucs are, if they don't win this game, that would be four straight losses after a three and one start. Put a fork in it.

Speaker 1 And if the Texans, you know, they're teetering right on that edge. They lose to the Panthers last week back home.
I like the Texans in this game.

Speaker 1 I would hope that the Bucs defense, they can still stop the run.

Speaker 1 And the Texans' offense, they run the most, I think, in the league first down, which just lets C.J. Stroud sling it.
There's something nice, you know, about a team that when it's first and 10,

Speaker 1 run the ball. Run the ball.
And they get three yards. Now it's second and seven.
It's almost like they can't start the drive until they get one run for two yards.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you want to know what football was like in the 90s? It was always second and eight. Yeah.
Always second and eight. And it was awesome.
And we loved it so much.

Speaker 1 It's like, oh, no, this isn't working. Well, eventually it will.
Because guess what? You got to keep leaning on it. Yeah.
Eventually,

Speaker 1 you'll get maybe even a second and six. You need to establish the run early on downs.
And then, yeah, it would become like second and eight, and then it would be third and four.

Speaker 1 Then you would make three yards

Speaker 1 land. And then you'd punt on fourth and one.
Yeah. That's how football is meant to be played.
That's what we grew up watching. We throw the ball too much on first down now.

Speaker 1 But I think that if the Texans are smart, they'll throw the ball on first down a little bit here. They probably will.
And

Speaker 1 we kind of hammered home a lot of stuff about Todd Bowles on this podcast. He's not a good coach.
I came across a stat that took my breath away about Todd Bowles.

Speaker 1 And you're a Todd Bowles guy. I used to be.
I'm a recovering Todd Bowles. You called him a top 10 coach in like 2018.
I think it was 2017. Yeah.
It was a long time. I was like, oh.

Speaker 1 I was young, dumb, full of calm. I grew up a lot since then.
It is funny because we've been doing this for so long. There's just still some takes that like just stick in your mind.

Speaker 1 It's like, oh, man, I remember when PFT said that. Yeah, I did say it.
I didn't mean it, but I said it. You said it.

Speaker 1 Todd Bowles, so when there's a strong recommendation to go for it on fourth down, strong recommendation, he goes for it 15% of the time.

Speaker 1 15%.

Speaker 1 When there's a toss-up, when it's 50-50, go for it or don't go for it. Do you know what percent of the time Todd Bowles goes for it? A toss-up? A toss-up.
50-50%.

Speaker 1 And this is based on the analytics models that are out there. Like, I think the New York Times has like a fourth down bot or whatever.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 It it shows you expected win probability going up or down based on whatever decision.

Speaker 1 When it's a 50-50 percent,

Speaker 1 how much does Todd Bowles go for it on fourth down?

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I don't know. Zero percent.
Okay, he goes for it. Jesus Christ, I didn't know if it was going to be way high or way low, but it wasn't going to get zero.

Speaker 1 He goes for it zero percent of the time on fourth down with 50-50. Christ.

Speaker 1 So Mike Evans was not traded this week. No.
Buck for life. Buck for life.
Apparently the Jets. One jersey guy.
The Jets reached out to him, and the Bucs were like, no, we're not out of it.

Speaker 1 And the crazy thing is, the Bucks are not out of it. No, if they win this game,

Speaker 1 they're very much not out of it. Like, someone's going to have to win the NFC South, and someone's going to have to get that seven seed.
Yeah. Which,

Speaker 1 if you're a fan of a team that's like in this weird zone, I don't know. I guess playoffs are playoffs, but man, that seven seed is going to be bad.

Speaker 1 Really bad. Really bad.
And I mean, it would be perfectly NFL if they somehow won a game. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.
You know what I want? I'm seeing the future right now of like what I really desire to happen in the playoffs.

Speaker 1 Bucs beat the number one, I guess they would be the number two seed Cowboys first round of the playoffs. How great would that be for the takes? Great.
Just for the takes. I root for takes.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, nerd nugget for this game.

Speaker 5 Both the Bucs and Texans are very responsible with the football. The Texans have the fewest turnovers in the league with four, while the Bucs are tied for second fewest with six.

Speaker 1 Very responsible football owners. Yeah.
I like that. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. Late slate.
Great, great game. We only have three games in the afternoon, but I'm okay with it because we have one that we can really focus on.
Cowboys at Eagles.

Speaker 1 Max, I want to hear from you. Can you make sure you press the button to talk?

Speaker 1 Memes pressed that button. Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 1 you've struggled with pressing buttons today. Yeah, no, that was bad.
I thought we were going to talk about that later in Firefight. Well, no, I was going to sprinkle it in.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So what you're saying is Big Cat just asked you to press the button, but you weren't on the button. So memes stepped in and pressed the press.
Oh, that's actually, you know what, PFT?

Speaker 1 That's very similar to at 7 a.m. on Wednesday morning when I had to call.
Max didn't pick up. Memes did pick up.
He pressed the button. That's interesting.
Correct. That is correct.

Speaker 1 But we'll get to it on Firefest.

Speaker 1 Been doing this podcast for a long-ass time. Just wasn't out on Wednesday.

Speaker 1 That is correct.

Speaker 1 Did you take a lap?

Speaker 1 That shit. You should take a lap right now.
Yeah. Yeah, go take a lap.
Take a lap. Take a lap.
All right, we got other stuff we can talk about. I want you to come back out of breath.

Speaker 1 I'm sure you've seen this PFT, but maybe not everyone who's listening has seen this.

Speaker 1 The greatest, maybe fake, but I'm going to say it's real. The greatest fantasy trade offer of all time.

Speaker 1 This was on Reddit.

Speaker 1 Some guy said, guy in my league is offering Pollard for Christian McCaffrey, and I get to bang his wife one time.

Speaker 1 So here's what he says. He says, guy in my league is three and five and desperate to turn his team around and needs more consistency with running back.

Speaker 1 He sent me a text saying he wants Christian McCaffrey, but there's not really anyone on his team I want. I'm currently 7-1, so I don't need to make any changes really.

Speaker 1 He said I could bang his wife one time if I accept the trade and it goes through. Honestly, it's pretty tempting since she has huge tits and I've always fantasized about her.

Speaker 1 Is it worth throwing my chances to win the ship out the window for a chance to bang his wife?

Speaker 1 There's a lot that goes into that.

Speaker 1 How on board do you think the wife is? Does she know? I hope she knows. Does she know? I'm hoping she knows.

Speaker 1 There's a good chance that she doesn't know. I hope she knows.
This is on the table. If she knows,

Speaker 1 well, if she doesn't know, this is fucked up. If she knows and down with it, you have to make this trade.

Speaker 1 But she might only be down for it because she knows that this other guy's fantasy team is so good that she's attracted to him.

Speaker 1 But the second they bone, he loses Christian McCaffrey.

Speaker 1 You got to do the trade afterwards because right now she's probably like, God, this guy's in first place in fantasy after eight weeks. And what's so high? And just play it out.

Speaker 1 Like, okay, you do this trade, you bang this guy's wife. He wins the championship, and he gets to talk shit to you, and then you're like, but I banged your wife.
Yeah, he's got the one-up card.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's a, I think you got to do it.

Speaker 1 If I was this guy, and

Speaker 1 the trade was proposed to me, I would create my own trophy after banging his wife. Of the wife.
Of the wife, yeah. Yeah.
And that could be like, I got flags fly forever.

Speaker 1 I'd raise a banner in my house. Is this a Keeper League?

Speaker 1 If it's Keeper, then it's got to be every year.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, I mean, I don't think this is Keeper, then you're funny. If it's Keeper, you get to film it.
It's very funny. This thing is very, very funny.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So that is the big trade right now because Tony Pollard has not been good.

Speaker 1 Sometimes that happens when you're featured back, you know, like, oh, this guy's got so much pop. Tingly, Ezekiel Elliott doesn't have the pop anymore.
All right. So Cowboys at Eagles.

Speaker 1 Max took his lap. Dak Prescott kind of owns the Eagles.

Speaker 1 No, he doesn't. He's 8-3 against the Eagles.
Yeah, I was going to say, what, 7-3 in the last 10? 8-3 against the Eagles. No.
Are you sick, Max? No, I just got something in my throat.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Is it Jail and Hurts dick?

Speaker 1 No. I need a cough drop if you're good.
You need a cough drop, Max? Nope. We wouldn't want you to take a cough drop, maybe fall asleep, and forget to put out the podcast.

Speaker 1 I don't know how that would be a cough drop. Cough drops can can make you drowsy.

Speaker 1 Can cough medicine can cough medicine? Cough drops? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You want a robo trip? You want some tussin? No, thank you.

Speaker 1 What are the keys to the game here? Did you already talk about the poke the bear thing? Oh, yeah. Dak Prescott said, if you see me in a fight with a bear, pour honey on me.
Oh,

Speaker 1 Jerry Madden. It's a Shannon Sharp.

Speaker 1 I also still don't fully understand what you mean. Neither do I.
I think it means like, if you see me in a fight with a bear, make me more desirable to the bear. Yeah.

Speaker 1 because otherwise I'll whoop the bear's ass too much. Well, it was in response to Jerry Jones.

Speaker 1 Jerry Jones was asked about the Eagles and he said, I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to poke the bear.

Speaker 7 Oh. And then Dak said that.

Speaker 1 So he was basically saying, I want to poke the bear.

Speaker 1 Is Dak Prescott like the weirdest guy in the NFL?

Speaker 1 I think he's low-key very weird. Yeah.
Very weird. So, Max, this is a big, big game.
Because if you lose this game, now the Cowboys look totally different. No, it's a massive game.

Speaker 1 it's unfortunate you won't be able to watch

Speaker 1 okay

Speaker 1 we're working on punishment yes we don't we haven't decided what his punishment is yet for not putting out the podcast i guess we'll get to that all right okay

Speaker 1 no yeah that's yeah no i can call the game for max oh wow that's torture that would

Speaker 1 that would be good

Speaker 1 that's a good i was going to suggest that max gets to listen to it on like the steve bartman like yeah portable stereo and you just have to sit on a gambling cave cave like listening to the stream uh big tone dm'd me with some ideas one of them was that every big tone's on my he's one of my guys yeah he dm'd me with a bunch of ideas uh one of them was that every time jalen hurts squats during the game because he squats before every snap max also has to squat

Speaker 1 that'd be tough i thought that was nick oh that was maybe nick big tone hold on let me see big tone's got some let's just read them out real loud real quick uh

Speaker 1 oh this one's diabolical max has to do a breakdown of every celtics win for a a month and why they win

Speaker 1 and why they're good and why it could be a problem for the Sixers in the future. I love that.

Speaker 1 That's a great one. That one would be tough.
That would be tough. But

Speaker 1 I'm willing to take all punishments. I deserve all punishments.

Speaker 1 Would you like to apologize?

Speaker 1 I've apologized on the bird. I guess that's not the bird anymore.

Speaker 1 I thought maybe we should just get a button and see you have to press it a million times.

Speaker 1 I don't know. How long would it take to press a button a million times?

Speaker 1 you know what piquette right now it sounds like max has acknowledged that he made a mistake and he's but he he almost wants to be punished for it and he wants to take you a bad boy you want to be spanked no i'm you're a sicko aren't you you want us to spank you actually i've got a good idea what about a soul patch max oh

Speaker 1 it's a little button it is a little button on your button you never forget the button if you look in the mirror because i mean max the fact of the matter is uh part of my take goes out to a million people every day right not not a brag just a fact.

Speaker 1 There are a million people, a million out there that were like, where the fuck's my podcast, Max? And you didn't push one button and you impacted a million people.

Speaker 1 All you got to do is press the button. Max, my friend was on his honeymoon and he texted me like, where is the podcast? You ruined my best friend's honeymoon.

Speaker 4 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1 You should have to fuck that guy's wife.

Speaker 1 Should we do like put all the punishment together and kind of... Do them all? We'll talk about a Fire Fest.
Now's not the time to talk about it.

Speaker 1 yeah think about this whole fact think about yeah just do some thinking we'll do we'll get to fire fest later all right so max do you feel confident in this game jalen hurst does not look like himself what that is okay

Speaker 1 max you have to admit he was answering he had a tender little knee answer the question do we have to do the player of the week thing again he had a tender little knee list he looked player of the week thing again he looked good throwing the ball but he doesn't have the same pop running it he couldn't even get the brother brotherly shove last week correct he does not look the same but his same

Speaker 1 his not the same is still an elite quarterback. He might won even better.
He won Player of the Week last week. Yeah.
So

Speaker 1 you said he doesn't look like himself. Player of the week is a very important trophy.
Yeah. I mean, it just shows.
Title Town, even. It just shows the current state of how that player is playing.

Speaker 1 That's all I'm trying to say.

Speaker 1 And Jalen and Jalen. Wait, you guys have two Player of the Weeks right now? Tyrese Maxie and Jalen Hurts? Title Town.

Speaker 1 Damn, your trophy closet might be overflowing. Basically, Title Town.
Was Maxie, was he player of the month? No, week.

Speaker 1 Just weak.

Speaker 1 We're just going week to week. I think A.J.
Brown was player of the month, though. Oh, okay.
Oh, damn. So who's man's into this? Who's the real leader of the Eagles?

Speaker 1 You got the Player of the Month or Player of the Week? Well, quarterback, I mean, Jalen Hurts is our leader, but

Speaker 1 A.J. Brown's the best player, but Jalen Hurts is the leader.
I do think that as much as Dak owns the Eagles

Speaker 1 eight and three,

Speaker 1 this is back to the similar talk about the Dolphins and the Chiefs.

Speaker 1 Like, the Eagles, or sorry, the Cowboys have beaten some bad teams easiest schedule they've played a couple good teams and they looked like dog shit so i say if the cowboys lose this game frauds yeah we're we're we're gonna call them frauds yep if the eagles lose this game and it's close we're gonna say should you take out the panic button max you've had you've had a big week with buttons I feel like the panic one might creep into your head.

Speaker 1 We know you won't press it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's fair. That's fair.

Speaker 1 I will not press the panic button. But this is the Cowboys Super Bowl.
Was your mom mad at you?

Speaker 1 My mom and I had a nice talk. Okay, good.
Good.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I mean,

Speaker 1 I'm mad at myself.

Speaker 1 It's one button. I know.
It's literally one button. But that's the thing.
Like,

Speaker 1 you can ask memes. Everything else was done.

Speaker 1 Like, literally every single thing that I needed to do for that pod,

Speaker 1 I just didn't click the right button. No, it's pretty important.
I don't know. I know.
I called memes at at 7 a.m. He was like, oh, yeah, Max didn't press the button.

Speaker 1 He's like, I'm looking at it right now. Yeah, no.
The button never got up. I don't know why I didn't.

Speaker 1 Shout out, memes, by the way.

Speaker 1 Shout out memes. Thank you so much.

Speaker 1 Shout out memes. Thank you.
Thank you. King of the buttons.
Thank you, memes. Thank you, memes.
Memes from the gym. Thank you, memes.
Memes, wait, memes published it from the gym? No, he didn't.

Speaker 1 No, that's you know what? I'm going to give memes part of my take player of the week. Yep.
Yeah. Yeah.
Congrats, memes.

Speaker 1 We finished the show early. I normally.
4 p.m. I know.
And I had it done early. I thought it normally

Speaker 1 how it goes, we finish it late. I publish it.
I wait to make sure it goes up on all platforms, and then I send the tweet that it's live. And that's my process of like double-checking every time.

Speaker 1 We finish it early. Do you not schedule it when it's done early? Never schedule.
Do you know what's fucked up is I actually woke up in the middle of the night. I'm not scheduling.

Speaker 1 Scheduling is easier to fuck up than just publishing.

Speaker 1 I woke up in the middle of the night. My son came in my room, said he had a spider on his

Speaker 1 pillow, liar.

Speaker 1 So I woke up, went back to his room, like, no spiders. You fucking lied to me again.

Speaker 1 Then it was just like 2.30 in the morning. I looked on, I just pulled up my phone.
It's 2:30 in the morning. I saw the tweet, and I saw everything underneath being like, there's no podcast.

Speaker 1 I should have said something then, but I was like, oh, it's probably just uploading. It's processing.
And then when I woke up at 6.30, no podcast. I know.
I never send that. I never send that.

Speaker 1 I don't see the Cowboys. You know, let's save it for Firefox.
Talking about the Eagles and the Cowboys. We'll have this discussion later.
All right, Cowboys, Eagles.

Speaker 1 I like the Eagles in this game. Yeah, the only thing is it's the Cowboys Super Bowl.
Memes is laughing his ass. They fucking

Speaker 1 the Cowboys love beating the Eagles. Are they wearing Kelly Green?

Speaker 1 No Kelly Green? No Kelly Green. They should have worn Kelly Green.
I'm going to bet the over. That's what I'm going to do.
Yeah. Because I can't decide.
I keep going back. Don't get me wrong.

Speaker 1 I think the Eagles are a way better team than the Cowboys. I think the Eagles will go farther.

Speaker 1 But this is the Cowboys Super Bowl where it's like, okay, they have a chance to puff their chests out to develop expectations.

Speaker 1 By the way, how mad do you think Jerry Jones is that the Rangers won the World Series?

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah. He's furious.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, right. He's like, God damn it.
Yeah. These bastards.
Big time mad. Big time mad.

Speaker 1 Okay, nerd nugget.

Speaker 5 The Eagles own the number one ranked rushing defense, 66 yards per game, and have limited opponents to fewer than 100 rushing yards in seven of eight games.

Speaker 5 They're 524 rushing yards allowed are the fewest through eight games in team history.

Speaker 1 All right, so that guy's got to wait a week to trade Tony Pollard for the wife. Yep.
Wait a week.

Speaker 5 Yep. Yep.
Maybe you could throw in something else, too. He has a lot of

Speaker 1 incentives already. Maybe

Speaker 1 Mr. Positions.

Speaker 1 Damn, don't get freaky on us.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 5 Just saying.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. Giants at Raiders.

Speaker 1 Josh McDaniels has been fired. That happened late at night, and we've talked about it, but Antonio Pierce is now the new head coach.
He said, I'm a former player. I touch former players.

Speaker 1 They're going to feel me. I need to feel them.
I love this. I love this for an interim coach, especially big time going up against your old team, the Giants.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So Pierce played for the Giants for a while.

Speaker 1 I love the interim coach. I was actually hoping that Jeff Saturday would get the call because just let him be the interim coach for whatever team fires their coach first in a season.

Speaker 1 Did you see RG3 kind of stepped in it? Because he said that

Speaker 1 Marshawn Lynch should get an interview for the head coach of the Raiders in the offseason. Yep.

Speaker 1 And everyone was like, hey, RG3, remember when you said that Jeff Saturday doesn't deserve to be the coach of the Colts? Yep. Yep.
I was like, well, I said interview.

Speaker 1 RG3 is, RG3 has opinions about things. Never gets his old opinions.
That's what I'll say about him.

Speaker 1 No one will ever accuse RG3 of not having a

Speaker 1 loud, usually incorrect opinion about something. But he goes by the old saying, like, it's better to be first than right.
So you have to give him credit. Yes.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Okay, so we also have a couple, couple, so I like Antonio Pierce. He feels like he's going to light a fire.
It also, Josh McDaniels has to be the number one guy. Like, thank God that asshole's gone.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Like, the relief in that locker room has to be insane.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 And they're going with AOC a quarterback, right? AOC, a quarterback. He is the 24th different Raiders quarterback in the last 20 years.

Speaker 1 Only two quarterbacks of the last 24 years for the Raiders have been profitable in a gambling sense against the spread. And the names will shock you.

Speaker 1 Raiders, quarterbacks.

Speaker 1 Only two have been profitable against the spread. In how many? 24 years.
Terrell Pryor. Yes.

Speaker 1 That's good credit on that great one. That was a great one.
That was a good pull. That's a great pull.

Speaker 1 The next one, I'm going to go with Rich Gannon. Jason Campbell.
Oh, he was going to be my other guest. I mean,

Speaker 1 what a duo. Yeah, because I remember, I think the Raiders were like 8-8 with Jason Campbell.
Terrell Pryor had one decent year

Speaker 1 as quarterback. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The Raiders

Speaker 1 have had 14 head coaches since Bill Belichick started in New England. Wow.
The Raiders also have had 18 head coaches since 1992. I say that because the Steelers have had two in that time.

Speaker 1 It's very funny looking at the Steelers.

Speaker 1 I think Nate Tice actually tweeted out that the

Speaker 1 Raiders have had four head coaches since they moved to Las Vegas, and the Steelers have had three head coaches in the last 50 years. That's pretty incredible.

Speaker 1 That's nuts. And also, Mark Davis, he's currently paying now two head coaches to not coach the team.
And he doesn't have the money. He doesn't have the money.
He doesn't have the money.

Speaker 1 John Gruden, I think, still has, what, six years left? Yeah. And McDaniels probably has four years left on his deal.
Yeah. That's got to be so awesome.

Speaker 1 It is truly my dream to one day be fired as an NFL head coach

Speaker 1 and just make money not doing shit. Apparently, there's offset language.

Speaker 1 So if you have to start, you have to look for a job where you have to actively be engaged in trying to find a new position, and then that new salary gets offset against what the former team owes you.

Speaker 1 So if McDaniels gets hired at like, I don't know, a million dollars a year to coach the commanders next year under Belichick, hypothetically, then

Speaker 1 that'll be $1 million less per year that the Raiders have to pay. But as of right now, Gruden's not working.
McDaniels not working. Mark Davis's highest paid employees are two guys that don't work.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
It's kind of like Barcelona Sports.

Speaker 4 Yeah. It's good.

Speaker 1 It's a nice setup. Nice Nice setup.

Speaker 1 So I love the Raiders in this game because Antonio Pierce feels like it's the perfect interim head coach bounce, except for the fact that

Speaker 1 the guy calling the plays now for the Raiders offensive coordinator, Bo Hard Hardigree,

Speaker 1 doesn't mean anything except for one little sentence

Speaker 1 before I read his name.

Speaker 1 He is from the Adam Gase coaching tree. Oh.

Speaker 1 I saw saw that and I was like, no.

Speaker 1 What is the Adam Gase coaching tree? It's a dead tree. It's a weed.
What the fuck?

Speaker 1 If you're Bo, you have to get that, like, find anyone else to be in their coaching tree. That's, yeah.
Who else has he coached for? Who's got to have somebody else?

Speaker 1 Let me look this guy up here. Bo Hardigree.
Bo. I might be saying his name wrong, but he's got it.
Yeah, the Adam Gase coaching tree. He looks like a mix between Adam Gase and Sean Payton.

Speaker 1 He was an offensive assistant for the Bears when Adam Gace, Miami Dolphins, Jets, Patriots, Duke, grad assistant.

Speaker 1 Duke, so you can work with that maybe. Oh, he was an intern at LSU for a little bit.
Yeah, so, yeah, be a. 2011, that was Les Miles.
Yeah, he's a Les Miles disciple.

Speaker 1 It's way better than that.

Speaker 1 Oh, maybe

Speaker 1 Cutcliffe. Duke.
Yeah. Cutcliffe is the Mannings.
Yep. Yeah.
All right.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, you're a Cutcliffe coaching tree. Yeah, I don't know Adam Gates coaching tree.

Speaker 1 That's one of those things, like, you know, when they tell you when you're coming out of college, like, if you're, if your GPA is, like, under three, don't put it on the resume. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's when you're, when you're in the Adam Gates coaching tree, leave that off the resume. No, it's, it's a Charlie Brown Christmas tree of coaching trees.

Speaker 1 It really, I was like, Raiders, Raiders, Raiders. And I read that.
I was like, oh, no.

Speaker 1 Well, it's funny because we talked about coaching trees and we think that anybody that has a good coaching tree or has one time been a fruit of a good coaching tree is you're essentially hiring that guy to be your head coach.

Speaker 1 You're different guys, but if you're going to say a coaching tree, don't say like the worst person ever.

Speaker 1 I don't want to think about Adam Gase ever. Yeah, yeah.
So we did. All right, and Daniel Jones is back.
So that's fun. He's officially back.
I think he is officially back.

Speaker 1 So we don't get Tommy DeVito this weekend? Yeah, Tommy DeVito. I did see, it was very funny because Jeff Schwartz,

Speaker 1 who's very good at football

Speaker 1 analyzing,

Speaker 1 he always laughs at the hypotheticals we throw out there where, like, people, it will go, it will trend on Twitter every now and then.

Speaker 1 Like, if you had the best offensive line and you had 10 carries, how many yards would you get?

Speaker 1 And there was one the other day that was like, if you had the best team ever, like, could you get 100 yards passing in an NFL game? And Jeff Schwartz was just like, Tommy DeVito.

Speaker 1 Like, we've proven this.

Speaker 1 Tommy DeVito. Yep.
We've proven that these hypotheticals are absurd. Tommy DeVito was probably the best quarterback in his high school's history.
Yes. Probably in the state.
Probably at the time.

Speaker 1 Well, I think he was a New Jersey guy. Yeah.
Because Billy was saying the other day that he and Tommy grew up together. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 And that the two of them were looked at as being like two of the top quarterbacks in the tri-state area.

Speaker 1 So Tommy DeVito beat out Billy for the four-star or whatever it was rating. Basically, what you're looking at is like a much, much, much, much better version of Billy football.
playing in the NFL.

Speaker 1 And he got

Speaker 1 negative two yards.

Speaker 1 So that should put that hypothetical to bed for a while. Although I do think I could

Speaker 1 throw an interception. I wouldn't fumble if I ran it.
No, I have too much pride to fumble. We've been through this.
It's like the details, you get all the points of contact.

Speaker 1 I would not carry the ball like a loaf of bread.

Speaker 1 I said it last night after the end of the World Series.

Speaker 1 I would never, ever make the last out in the World Series with my bat on my shoulder.

Speaker 1 You got to give it a good, honest chance. Yeah.
I'd swing the next day. I don't care.
Imagine all the guys that are in the dugout watching you at the end of the game. Do it for them.
Do it for them.

Speaker 1 Take a cut. All right, nerd nugget.

Speaker 5 The Giants Raiders game features the two worst offenses in the league with both squads averaging 268 yards per game.

Speaker 5 The Giants are also the only team in the NFL that have not scored at least 100 points this season.

Speaker 1 Oof. And they have 95.
Ooh.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think the Raiders have gone under their team total every single week this year. I don't think they've scored 21 points yet, have they? That's crazy.
All right.

Speaker 1 Second to last game, Colts and Panthers. Frank Reich pull.
Yeah, revenge game. Big time revenge game for Reich.
And he's going up against Gus Gus Bradley, who he hired to be the defensive coordinator.

Speaker 1 Do you think Frank Reich, he doesn't seem like a guy that talks much in general?

Speaker 1 Do you think he's getting his team amped up being like, they didn't want me? Yeah. Because if he said that to the Panthers, do you think the Panthers would be like, we don't want you.
That's pretty.

Speaker 1 Sounds like they're a smart-run organization. Yeah, what are their, can you share their phone numbers? We want to talk about some stuff.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He might not say that, but it's so early on in the season and they just got to win that there might be some guys in the Panthers locker room that believe. Yeah.
There might be believers. Sure.

Speaker 1 Like, let's win this one for coach. I know the Colts' defense is really bad.
They've given up 38, 39, and 37 points in the last three games. Yeah, they're one of the worst in the league.

Speaker 1 The Panthers, on their defensive side,

Speaker 1 they've got a flu going around. We're on flu watch for the Panthers, too.
It's that time of year. Troy Hill was out with the flu.
Hayden Hurst, tight end, he was out with the flu this week. So

Speaker 1 there's an illness going around the Panthers' locker room this week. Keep an eye on that.
Okay. I'm going to need to keep very close tabs on that.
Eye on that. In this game.
For sure.

Speaker 1 Okay. Nerd nugget.

Speaker 5 In their first game since switching to play calling duties, the Panthers averaged 7.6 yards per past attempt with OC Thomas Brown calling plays in last week's win compared to 5.5 during the first six games with Frank Reich.

Speaker 1 Okay. So it's progress.
Yeah, no, I said it last week. Thomas Brown, McVay coaching tree.
That is a coaching tree you want, and they looked a little bit better.

Speaker 1 All right, last game of Sunday, which is the best game. Bills at Bengals.
So excited for this game. DeMar Hamlin.

Speaker 1 That's it. DeMar Hamlin.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 They're going to hammer us with DeMar. I do think the Bills maybe, there's a weird thing going on where the Bills are like trying to...
Josh Allen was like, I want to play up tempo.

Speaker 1 I want to play up tempo. Ken Dorsey wants to play with some tight ends.
I feel like they're going to start playing up tempo. I feel like they're going to start playing up tempo.

Speaker 1 That's their best chance.

Speaker 1 Their defense stinks. They have to basically be like, hey, listen, we got to play up tempo.
We got to score a shitload here because our defense is not good.

Speaker 1 yeah that's so that's what i've missed about the bills this year is um they're not playing in even the games that they lose they're not playing in shootouts really yeah and so i want to bring back the shootout bills uh they did get lenny they got leonard for net oh so we got to figure out what we're doing

Speaker 1 is it playoff lenny lombardi lenny wing nuts palenny uh lenny mafia lenny mafia i kind of like lenny mafia

Speaker 1 um he was practicing the other day he was wearing he was basically wearing a swimsuit when he was practicing

Speaker 1 legs look great lenny great job you look like you're in good shape So you can expect. He's usually good for like what's a typical Leonard Fournette stat line? I would say it's like 11 carries,

Speaker 1 42 yards, and a touchdown. Now or back in the day, because back in the day, it was like 20 carries, 75 yards, two touchdowns.
Yeah, that was like old Lenny. I feel like now.

Speaker 1 Three carries, three yards, three touchdowns. Oh, no, three.

Speaker 1 It was three carries, zero yards, three touchdowns. Jerome Bettis.
Yeah, that'd be a great stat line for Lenny Mafia.

Speaker 1 We got fucked last week. We got fucked by the Bengals.
Joe Mixon had a baby before the game. Yep.
They didn't tell us a lot. They didn't tell us.
They didn't tell us.

Speaker 1 And then Zach Taylor said on the post-game radio show, Joe Mixon has a brand newborn daughter, and it was his best game of the season. We got fucked on that.
We did get fucked up.

Speaker 1 They should be listed on the injury report. That's my fault.

Speaker 5 I should have dug into that.

Speaker 1 Well, no, nobody knew. No one knew.
No one knew.

Speaker 1 No, it wasn't made public. It should be on the injury report.

Speaker 1 The NFL should come down on that and be like, Joe Mixon definitely will play,

Speaker 1 has great sperm. Although, maybe Jake should be calling every hospital in America.
I need to

Speaker 1 put in more effort. Yeah, no excuse to play.
Yeah, my fault.

Speaker 1 All right, so and the Bengals are back. They're back.
Like this is a game that if the Bengals win, they're all the way back. Yeah, because Joe Burrow looks healthy.

Speaker 1 Everything looks like it's clicking.

Speaker 1 I'm so excited for this game. Separation Sunday.
It's another must-win for the Bengals. The Bengals only play in must-win games because they got off to a slow start.

Speaker 1 You think it's a must-win for the Bills? I think it's a must-win for the Bills. I think it's a must-compete for the Bills.
I think it's a must-win for both these teams. It's going to be big.

Speaker 1 Okay, Nerd Nugget.

Speaker 5 If you're an NFL player listening, please DM me if you're about to have a kid. Yep.

Speaker 1 Actually,

Speaker 1 just like every time you have sex, DM Jake Marsh if you're an NFL player. Yes.

Speaker 1 What does chaps use? The sunglasses emoji? I don't know. Yeah, just DM Jake with the sunglasses emoji.
You're about to have a kid. When you have sex.
Unprotected.

Speaker 5 Perfect.

Speaker 5 This is my nerd nugget of the week. I have one every week that I hype up and try try to wow you guys.

Speaker 1 Okay. Here we go.
Wow me.

Speaker 5 In 20 regular season Sunday night games, the Bengals are 3-17 overall. Their last Sunday night win came over the Dolphins in 2004.

Speaker 1 Okay, it's a long time. They are very, very bad.

Speaker 1 Interesting. Now

Speaker 1 they also have been very, very bad over the last like 25 years. So they haven't had.
20 games, though. 20 games is a big sample size, but there were some significantly bad Bengals teams.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but you wouldn't think they would get a time spot.

Speaker 1 They'd play them on AFC North games. Oh, yeah,

Speaker 1 Carson Palmer. Yeah.
Yeah. They do that.

Speaker 5 So three and 17. It has been 19 years since they've won on Sunday New York.

Speaker 1 Okay, okay, that's a good stat. All right.
That is a good stat. Very cool.

Speaker 2 All protein bars generally taste the same, but not one bars. One-made protein bars are actually delicious with Reese's and Hershey's.

Speaker 2 Only one Reese's Peanut Butter Lover's protein bar is made with Reese's peanut butter, and only one Hershey's cookies cookies and cream protein bars is made with Hershey's cookie bits while delivering 18 grams of protein and 3 grams of sugar.

Speaker 2 One bars are the perfect protein bar to get you through your busy day, whether you need a quick pick-me-up between meetings or you need some fuel to power you through your next workout.

Speaker 2 One also has other delicious flavors like birthday cake, maple glazed donut, and blueberry cobbler. Find all one bars at a retailer near you or on Amazon.com.

Speaker 1 Okay, picks.

Speaker 5 In the warm-up, 15-minute opening act, I am 10-5, and 1. Max is 8-8.
Memes is 7-9.

Speaker 5 The main event, one hour on the stage. Big Cat, 9-5- and 2.
PFT, 9-7. Hank, 7-8-1.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's close. About to be halfway.
Hank. Memes and Hank.
All right, who goes first?

Speaker 1 I think it's PFT because we switched it up. Yeah, that's right.
And we're going this way. So I'm next.
Yep. All right, PFT, you're up.

Speaker 1 I am going to go with the Atlanta Falcons.

Speaker 1 Minus four.

Speaker 5 Okay. Falcons minus four against the Vikings.

Speaker 1 Shut up, Hank.

Speaker 1 You don't get to somebody's pick. I just did.
You're in last place.

Speaker 1 That's a compliment. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Jake.

Speaker 5 I will go with Seahawks Ravens over 44 and a half.

Speaker 1 Okay. First place.
Max, make sure you press the button to talk. Yep.

Speaker 1 I will go with the Eagles minus three. Oh, wow, that was

Speaker 1 no confidence.

Speaker 1 I'm just speaking with no confidence today. Okay.

Speaker 1 Why would happen? All right. Memes.
We'll talk about it in Firefest. Firefest.
Yeah, we'll talk about Firefest. Memes.
Colts, Panthers over 44. Ooh, okay.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Hank?

Speaker 1 I'm going to go with my squad, my boys, the boys,

Speaker 1 Cowboys. Cowboys,

Speaker 1 okay.

Speaker 1 I got two easy ones, but

Speaker 1 my picks are still here. Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 Bills, Bengals, over 49.5.

Speaker 1 And then I will also go with the Browns minus eight.

Speaker 1 I love the Browns.

Speaker 1 The Cardinals. Clayton Toon.
And uh-uh.

Speaker 1 Hank? I'm going to go to a game with two teams with non-existent defenses. One team is banged up.
The other team traded away their best guys.

Speaker 1 Pat's Commanders, Lighthouse Bowl, Battle for the Lighthouse, over 48.5. Ooh, spicy.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's, yeah, but at least, you know, I think it's a good one. We're going to be watching it.
Ugh,

Speaker 1 is a good pick. Someone says a pick and you say, that's good.
I was going to take it. So congrats, Hank.
Thank you. Okay.

Speaker 1 Memes. I'm going to go Bengals minus two.

Speaker 1 Okay. Against the Bills.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I will take...

Speaker 1 Has anyone done Commander's Patriots over? Yes. You aren't listening and you can't press buttons.
Are you serious?

Speaker 1 He just took Hank. Is that real?

Speaker 1 It was real. Max, you'll actually hear Hank taking that when you edit the podcast and forget to put it out.
Crack. We basically did a podcast on Wednesday just for Max.

Speaker 1 That's not true.

Speaker 1 Did you leave a review? No, no, that's not true.

Speaker 1 You should have to leave a five-star review on all platforms. I will do that.
Now,

Speaker 1 let's say they were driving angrily.

Speaker 1 You probably caused car accidents, Max. Me and Max listened to it on the way in.
Yes, or fuck it.

Speaker 1 I will go.

Speaker 1 I will go. I will go.

Speaker 1 Sounds like you're not ready. Rams, Packers, under.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 Rams Packers under.

Speaker 1 What are we at?

Speaker 1 38.5, I believe.

Speaker 5 Okay. I'm going to go with the Carolina Panthers plus 2.5

Speaker 1 at home against the Colts. Okay.
Ranks Revenge. Okay.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go with Seahawks, Ravens, over 44.5. Ooh, okay.
I took that. Are you dead? Yeah.
That's why I love this.

Speaker 1 It's okay. Don't worry about it.
We're doing a great job. Okay.
In that case, I will go.

Speaker 5 Wait, I should start hooking these up to the monitor so you guys can see it as I type it in next week, maybe.

Speaker 1 Sure. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Or you could check the shared document.

Speaker 1 Or we could listen.

Speaker 1 You know what?

Speaker 1 It's literally two picks a person.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go double down on the Vikings Falcons. I'm going to take the over 37.5 points in that game.
Oh, double down. Double down.
I like that. Yeah.
I like that.

Speaker 1 Okay, well, we'll treat out all the picks on Sunday morning for the Pardon I Take Twitter. Let's do some fantasy fuck, boys.

Speaker 1 What's up? What's up? What's up?

Speaker 1 The Germans. Zenfel.

Speaker 1 What's up?

Speaker 1 The Zenfeli is love good. Oh, we're doing the Germans.

Speaker 1 Fuck the Germans. Fuck the Germans.
My stardom is Tilted Towers. Tilted Towers.
Where are we dropping, boys?

Speaker 1 What is that?

Speaker 1 If you don't know me, you fucking don't know me. No, Tilted Towers.
Tilted Towers.

Speaker 1 We're fucking bad. Fuck yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know what that is. My sitem is the fucking lottery ball machine.
Fuck their stupid piece of shit. Fuck, I got it.
I hate it.

Speaker 1 Baseball battle and break it. You don't like running numbers? That is beautiful.

Speaker 1 Sleeper,

Speaker 1 Victor Wempinyama. oh he's only tall slender man he's got the okay

Speaker 1 this guy might be good he's someone to keep an eye on he wouldn't be that good if he wasn't that tall nice legit yeah hello oh my name is hans hans

Speaker 1 fantasy fuck boy ha ha ha ha ha ha

Speaker 1 my saw them my saf is robbie anderson Robbie Anderson, he is playing overseas right now in Zifaza land.

Speaker 1 Ah, it's Robbie Chosen now I love chosen guys I just love I love everything about the guy

Speaker 1 I think he'll be a great player my sitem is the Commonwealth of Puerto Rico finance department because Dar Rovell you guys know Dar Rovell

Speaker 1 you're losing it you know Darren Dar Rovell die he's got the check he's got a check that he tweeted out after Bobby Knight died talk about some bad bookkeeping yeah my sleeper my sleeper is the chiefs because the chiefs are very tired

Speaker 1 very tired. Very tired, sleepy boy.

Speaker 1 And the Chiefs this week, I think they'll be too tired to play football well, right? Yeah,

Speaker 1 sure, sure. Master Freaking News.
Nine oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Hello.
Hello. My name is Franz.
Hello, Franz. Franz, my statum.
My statum is Possums. Possums.
Possums on the field at Texas Tech. Oh, it's possible.
Ziposums.

Speaker 1 My sitem is Trademarks. Trademarks, okay.
Got Travis Kelsey. Trademarked all right now.

Speaker 1 Dah

Speaker 1 Let me say that again. All right now.

Speaker 1 All right now.

Speaker 1 That's a trademark. All right now.

Speaker 1 We are committing trademark infringement, yeah? Yeah. All right yeah.
All right now.

Speaker 1 My sleeper is Jordan Poole. Oh, he's so good as he's sleeping.
He was sleeping on Jordan Poole. He's so good as we go swimming with the ladies.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Jordan Ball is the backboard. Doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 It's fantasy German. Yeah.
Someone break the ice here.

Speaker 1 So I wasn't right like that.

Speaker 1 I'd just like to say that we were on alignment that we were going to do fantasy Germans. And then.
No, we said we were going to do fantasy fuckboys. And then I said the Germans.

Speaker 1 And then we went half and half. You got everything.
You got the axis there. Well, listen.
There's a lot of German Italians out there. Yeah.
They live in Argentina.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Za, da, da.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's get to our interviews. We got awesome interviews.
Clinton Portis, Tiffany Gomez.

Speaker 1 What a combo. What a combo.

Speaker 1 Never been done before in podcasting history. I can assure you that.
Dream Blunt rotation. Yes.

Speaker 1 All right, before we do that, PFT.

Speaker 8 Paul's here, kids are back in school. Vacations are over, and cozy season is officially on.
You know what that means? Bombus season is on.

Speaker 8 Bombas makes the most comfortable socks ever, and they even make slippers, tees, underwear, all crafted from premium materials. Perfect for this time of year and cozying up for football watching.

Speaker 8 Their slippers are also Sherpa lined, which feels like you're walking on the clouds. Bombus really has it all.

Speaker 8 And if you head over to bombus.com/slash audio, you can use the code audio for 20% off your first purchase. That's bombbas.com/slash audio.
Code audio at checkout.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. He's BCS national champion, two-time Pro Bowler.
It is Clinton Portis in the studio. Clinton, thank you for joining us, for coming here.
Appreciate it.

Speaker 1 We both, PFT and I both like, when we were like, hey, Clinton Portis, name thrown around, like, yeah, we love watching him play ball because that, you, you running the football was the best.

Speaker 4 Appreciate it, man. You know, thanks for having me.

Speaker 4 First off, and I just think the back position has transitioned so much.

Speaker 4 You know, a lot of those guys are so talented uh that teams only highlight it you know you just highlight that specialty instead of allowing those guys to become the total package like force those guys to be three down backs uh everybody is kind of running back by committee you see a guy jogging on you know you make a good play you're jogging off the field like that's you it's hard to get a rhythm uh of the game with that style of football.

Speaker 4 So it kind of takes it away.

Speaker 4 When you look at backs not getting paid that's the reason why yeah because you don't get to display an entire body of work you know uh maybe three backs in the league get 14 to 15 carries a game that's absurd yeah you know like 15 carries a game what are you if you average five yards a carry that's still only 75 yards would you even take a shower if you ran the ball 10 times that's not even that's not even a game i would definitely take a shower

Speaker 1 i would take a shower if i go outside and sweat so i would definitely take a shower but it's hard for a back to just really take over a game and and dominate uh in that aspect yeah so i did used to love watching you run the ball but there was something else that you did that i loved watching more that was your pass blocking like in pass protection you were a dog you were a fucking beast as a blocker i remember there was one play maybe maybe you can tell me like what game this was from but um i think you were chipping somebody you laid the dude out and you did a little dance over top of him.

Speaker 1 You did like a celebration dance.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that was the Giants. And

Speaker 4 I think it was QA Nuka.

Speaker 4 And what actually happened was the play before,

Speaker 4 I think OC attempted to help me up.

Speaker 4 And he came and slapped OC's hand, not knowing our relationship.

Speaker 4 Not knowing we were already friends, partners, whatever it is.

Speaker 4 He came and slapped OC's hand

Speaker 4 and had comments like, don't help that we can't, whatever it was. And I jump up and we exchange words.
And the very next play,

Speaker 4 like, I see him lined up outside. And I told Chris Samuels prior, I was like, stay inside.
And he had this look like, what are you talking about?

Speaker 4 And he just, if you look at his set, it was like, okay, I'm sitting. I'm staying inside.
I don't know why you're telling me that. And he never saw it.
Yeah. Like, he never saw it.

Speaker 4 To this day, he still don't know what hit it.

Speaker 1 Doing the horizontal in the air before he hit the ground.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he still don't know what hit it.

Speaker 4 And it was like that dance was me exchanging those same pleasantries that he shared prior. You know, like watch your mouth.
You know, you're not ready for this type situation.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you were one of my favorite players in the world. So I really appreciate you coming in.

Speaker 1 It's very cool to see it.

Speaker 1 I want to go back real quick to the college days for you.

Speaker 1 We've had a couple guys from the U on the show before, and we always just sit there naming guys that were on that team because you had like the best roster of all time in college football.

Speaker 1 But more specifically, your running back room that you were in, probably the best group of positional players in college football history at the time.

Speaker 1 So can you walk us through what that was like getting on campus, getting all that talent around you, and if you guys knew that you were all different?

Speaker 4 I would still say to this day, you know, a lot of people look at running back rooms and outside of that Thurman Thomas Barry sanders you know what what collective group and they needed a third man uh but outside of thurman thumbas barry sanders you know what what group of guys had that success on the next level as well you know uh when you look at myself and willis we were just shy of 10 000 frankie g third all the time

Speaker 1 that's that's crazy yeah you know

Speaker 4 you look at all these other backs you know they talk about alabama and they talk about Georgia. Those guys, you know, probably finished their career with 5,000 or 6,000 yards.

Speaker 4 It was just no knock to them. It's just what we had was

Speaker 4 so different just as an entire team because our competition, like I didn't look at my competition as Frank or Willis. You know, we were all together and I didn't look at them as my competition.

Speaker 4 My competition was, we got to figure out how we kick Ed Reed ass today. We got to figure out how we kick Philip Buchanan ass today.

Speaker 1 Like Jonathan Villman.

Speaker 4 You know, that was our competition. It was the defense, you know, and then when you look at the offense, you like,

Speaker 4 man, Dre over here, Shocky over here, Brian McKinney, you know, Vernon Carey. It was so much work on that team that you didn't, it wasn't like no, oh man, I'm looking and this is Frankie G.

Speaker 4 Like we sitting here trying to figure out a solution. Like, you know what, dog? Reed tried us yesterday.

Speaker 4 I'm going to go out there and I'm going to fuck fuck reed up you know so it was one of those situations that made us all better because in practice our practices used to be so crazy and i know everyone says the same thing like our practices were so competitive like if if i walked up and one of you guys walked up i'm like that's a wasted rep to me like move out of the way like or i'm not doing it either okay if you're different though yeah i would i would respectfully like i go low on you yeah but i wouldn't give you that chance because that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 You going low on me, mess around and hurt me. Yeah.
So I wouldn't even go with you. Like, hey, you know what? Let me get out of his way and I'm going to go with the next guy.

Speaker 4 You know, the guy I'm going against was the Dan Morgan or the Jonathan Vilma.

Speaker 4 You know, and I knew Jonathan Vilma was going to be special because the summer that he came, Dan and Nate Webster stayed, sent him Chris Campbell.

Speaker 4 They didn't want to, you know, it was like, nah, CP up. Come here, Vilma, come here.
And he just would take that ass, like he would take that ass whooping and step back up.

Speaker 1 Like, I'm going to get you to venture. Yeah.
Like,

Speaker 4 the

Speaker 4 competitive side of him was there.

Speaker 4 So I knew he was going to be something special, you know. And to go on and see it, it was just like, you took this ass whooping all summer and then you developed that mentality that we had.

Speaker 4 So now when your sophomore year come up, it's like, no, now you want to be ready.

Speaker 1 Yeah. How fun was it being on that team? And you're saying, like, summer practices, you know, you're playing against incredible guys.
All these guys are going to the NFL on game day.

Speaker 1 Were you like, were you guys ever worried? Because you only played a couple close games.

Speaker 1 It must have been incredible to be on a team like that, knowing we're probably going to dominate, and we're going to probably just kick the shit out of you, and there's nothing you can do.

Speaker 4 Well, I think we knew we were going to dominate, you know, and I think it started when Ed Reed came back. Ed Reed came back, Coach Davis left, uh, Reed came back, back.

Speaker 4 And that changed our program because the year before we slipped up in Washington and just on some,

Speaker 4 you know, cockiness, we were too cocky and too arrogant. You know, the late, great Al Blades, you know, a lot of the guys were just like, Washington was going to buy down to us.
And they didn't.

Speaker 4 They came out and hit us in the mouth early, and we had to fight to get back in that game. If we would have had 10 more seconds, we win that game.
But after that, I think it became a staple.

Speaker 4 Like, we're going to fight to the death of us. So, that, you know, that 2001 team, we never was worried.

Speaker 4 You know, I think we might have had the Boston College game, everybody look at like, oh, well, Boston College was about to win. They were driving.

Speaker 4 They had been driving most of the game, but kicking field goal. So they were going to have to settle for a field goal again.
That drive. I don't think they were going to beat us, but the play that

Speaker 4 Ed made, you know, just solidified that game. And then we went to VTech.
That was probably the hard game.

Speaker 1 It was a two-point game, yeah.

Speaker 4 Because V-Tech, and what's crazy is we were blowing them out, and then they blocked a kick, and that crowd got back into the game. It was like 20 to 7.

Speaker 4 And we, you know, like, it's like we rose bowl bound. And all of a sudden, they blocked a punt.
And that crowd.

Speaker 1 Beamer ball.

Speaker 1 What? That's our beamer special.

Speaker 4 And it just turned into a game. They hadn't even scored.
They blocked that punt. And the crowd went crazy.
Like, they, it just was like, dang. Like, it was a fight, which was good for us because

Speaker 4 once we beat them, Nebraska didn't stand a chance.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It was a great team.
It was an awesome team. And your close friend,

Speaker 1 my favorite player to ever watch play football, Sean Taylor, ended up being on that Miami team, too. People forget he was recruited.
He was the number one running back in the state of Florida.

Speaker 1 He was like breaking all the records. He got brought in, moved over to safety.
I know you guys became real, real close as your careers went on.

Speaker 1 What kind of guy was Sean Taylor?

Speaker 4 So what's crazy is like a quick story about that. So myself and Philip Buchanan, we used to always watch all of the incoming recruits.

Speaker 4 You know, we would go out and watch the Frankie G's, the Roscoe Parrish, Willis. We were going to their games.
Everybody was from South Florida. So we were going to those games to watch them.

Speaker 4 So when we were watching the incoming crew highlight tape, the one person that I hadn't heard of was Sean T.

Speaker 4 So we're getting this quarterback from Gulliver and we're getting another player, but we were hearing about the quarterback. We knew nothing about Sean.

Speaker 4 So now when we're watching the highlight tape and I see Sean jumping over people, running past people, like he was doing crazy stuff way before everyone else.

Speaker 4 I get in my feelings. Like, Coach Solinger, like, you know, you talk about Frankie G, you talked about Willis.
Why hadn't you said anything about Sean? He was like, that kid wants to play safety.

Speaker 4 He doesn't even want to play running back.

Speaker 4 And it was like a, whoo, damn.

Speaker 1 Like, you know, like, I'm glad.

Speaker 4 Yeah. And, you know, once Sean came in and Ed Reed was already our all-world safety.
So then you add Sean, the entrail role, Kelly Jennings.

Speaker 4 Like, it's so many names on that roster that guys forgot about that were key contributors, you know.

Speaker 4 But Sean, man, to get him, once I got to Washington, every day, you know, we were talking about and discussing they were going to take Kellen Winslow, which would have been a great addition for our team to pick our offense up, you know, and Coach Gibbs was like, yeah, man, I got to get you some help on the offensive side of the ball.

Speaker 4 And our conversation went this simple. He was like, I got to get you some help on

Speaker 4 on the offensive side of the ball. I said, Coach, you want to help me on the offensive side of the ball? He said, Yeah, I got to get you some help.
I said, Well, good.

Speaker 4 Draft Sean because he's going to get us the ball back, and that's going to give me more.

Speaker 1 I like to

Speaker 4 say, Do you really think this kid is this good? I said,

Speaker 4 Listen,

Speaker 4 if you don't draft this kid, we're going to regret it. And I was a teammate of Kellen Winslow who was awesome as well, but I played with Shocky, so Shocky was that deal.

Speaker 4 You know, like Shocky was Kellen, was more animated and you know, about me compared to Shocky.

Speaker 4 Like, Shocky, I remember Bush Davis asking Shocky because he had been jumping off sides, like, Jeremy Shocky, what can I do to get you to stay on side? And, you know, he was like.

Speaker 4 Go on fucking first sound and sit back down. And the entire locker room looked just like you are.
Like, did Shocky just say that to Coach Davis? So, you know, playing with Shocky,

Speaker 4 I knew Kellen was really talented. I just felt like Sean was what we needed in D.C.
And

Speaker 4 draft day, I'm calling, calling, calling. And finally, they called me back and was like, so do you really think we should take Sean? And I was like, dog, that's a no-brainer.

Speaker 4 And when that Sean T popped across the bottom of the screen, it was up. That's awesome.
From that point on, it was awesome.

Speaker 1 That's awesome.

Speaker 1 He was a ballhawk. He would intercept crazy.
He would crazy passes.

Speaker 1 He would hit you so hard, you would not want to run across the middle of the field.

Speaker 1 I've never seen a player like Sean Taylor before where he will affect a game and have every wide receiver that's running anywhere close to a hash mark just put their hands

Speaker 1 and look around for him. It's like, fuck, where's Sean?

Speaker 4 And it's crazy because you're thinking of, bro, I think T.O. is one of the best receivers of all time.
Like, I would say T.O. is top three receivers of all time.

Speaker 1 Of all time.

Speaker 4 Sean,

Speaker 4 the way the

Speaker 4 personal

Speaker 4 problem that he had was with T.O. to punish T.O.
every time he ran a route. If you go back and look, I think we got flagged, maybe the Eagles game.
T.O. ran an out route, or maybe he was in Dallas.

Speaker 4 T.O. ran an out-route on the far sideline, on Dallas sideline, and the play came to our sideline.
They ran the ball to our sideline.

Speaker 4 Sean went and hit T.O. out of bounds on Dallas sideline.
Like, we got a 15-yard penalty because on the opposite side of the field.

Speaker 4 He wanted to make T.O. know, and I think that was the same game that T.O.
had the Gator Arms where he was wide open and Sean had been after him for so long that

Speaker 4 if he just stick his hands out, it's a 70-yard touchdown. Knowing those footsteps, because Sean had bit

Speaker 4 and blew the coverage, and

Speaker 4 they didn't even complete it.

Speaker 1 That's incredible.

Speaker 4 Just to have that effect, you know, even I remember him playing Randy Moss. Like, I remember us going to Green Bay and playing single high safety against Brett Favre.
He getting sideline to sideline.

Speaker 4 Like, he covering the entire field. And I think he should have had four or five interceptions, you know? Yeah.
So he was just like, he was a different breed. He was a different character.

Speaker 7 Whether I'm hosting game day at my place or taking my talents to the tailgate, Boar's Head is my go-to for a spread that's as exciting as the game itself. Their platters are a hit every time.

Speaker 7 They've got everything you need to keep your guests coming back for more. And if you want to take it up a notch, grab a few dips.

Speaker 7 My personal favorite, the Blazing Buffalo Chicken, Hummus, or even one of their charcuterie collections for game-changing flavor.

Speaker 7 Boarshead helps me elevate my entertaining every time, whether it's for a tailgate or a home gating celebration.

Speaker 7 To upgrade your spread, visit your local Boarshead deli for platter options or build your own to make it perfect for your crowd. Boarshead, committed to craft since 1905.

Speaker 1 So when you get drafted, because we love watching

Speaker 1 the Shanahan system run the football, when you get drafted at Denver, were you like, this is incredible?

Speaker 1 Because it really did feel like for the stretch, even now with Kyle, like they just make running backs great.

Speaker 1 What was it like running in that system compared to every other system?

Speaker 4 You know what's crazy?

Speaker 4 I walked out of my draft meeting at Indy. at Combine with the Broncos.
They had Mike Anderson, Orlandis Gary, Terrell Davis, Karon Coleman.

Speaker 4 They had four backs on their roster, three of them had a thousand yards. So when I went in to meet with them, I'm like, man, it was midnight.
You know, that was a long day.

Speaker 4 I'm like, man, y'all, you all not drafting me. Like,

Speaker 4 why am I even in here? And he was like, are you tired?

Speaker 1 Like, I'm like, yeah, I'm tired.

Speaker 4 Like, I've been, I'm, you know, it was kind of annoying. Like, this is a wasted, this is a wasted meeting.

Speaker 4 And then it turns into the team that drafts me. So on pro day, I mean, on draft day when they call, it was just like one of those shocks.

Speaker 4 Like, I didn't know who drafted me because I wasn't watching the draft.

Speaker 4 After Carolina took Deshaun Foster with the second pick in the second round, I was over it. Like, every team is going to pay.

Speaker 4 Like, I left my draft party. Like, you know what? They're going to pay.
And they're going to regret this. So I was on my way to Tallahassee when I got the call.
I didn't know what round I went in.

Speaker 4 I didn't know anything. I just, it popped up on my phone, Aurora, Colorado.
I'm like, yeah, hello. Like, hey, Clinton, we just, you know, wanted to welcome you, let you know we turned your name in.

Speaker 4 Wanted to put you on the phone with Coach Shanahan. I'm like, all right, you know, thanks, whatever.
Me and Coach Shanahan have a conversation. Like, congratulations.
We can't believe you were there.

Speaker 4 You were our top back on the board. We can't believe you failed to us.
I'm like, well, why you didn't draft me in the first round?

Speaker 4 You know, and he's like, kid just be happy we drafted you i'm like man you won't regret this like i'll win rookie of the year i promise you he's like man don't worry about the accolades like just come be the best shoe that you can be in i'm like coach you won't regret this you know and it ended up being a blessing in disguise because you look at william green went to cleveland tj duckett went to atlanta deshaun uh foster went to carolina combined i ended up with more yards than all of them more touchdowns than all of them more knockouts than all of them.

Speaker 4 Like all three of them combined,

Speaker 4 my stats were better in every phase. And it was just like one of those personal issues my first two years where I felt like I needed to punish everyone and make them no money.

Speaker 1 And you did, rookie of the year, 1,500 yards, 15 touchdowns. Like that was, I mean, it was great.

Speaker 1 But something about that Shanahan offense, too, it's just like running backs just are featured in a way that it's just beautiful to watch.

Speaker 4 Well, I think it gives you, it gives you, and Bobby T,

Speaker 4 who was one of my favorite coaches, Bobby T and Don Solinger, two of my running backs coaches, two of the greats of all time,

Speaker 4 those guys

Speaker 4 put you in position to win. You know, I remember Coach Solinger, hey, listen, every back I got can run the ball.
How do you, how are you going to differentiate?

Speaker 4 You know, every back that I got in here can run the ball. I could put anybody in to run the ball.
You know, so that's what made us learn how to block at Miami.

Speaker 4 And then when you got into the NFL, Bobby T would always tell you like man you're getting my ass chewed off like everything was an issue you could never satisfy bobby t but he was going to do everything he possibly can to have you prepared for the game and all of that dancing in the backfield if you look at any of the backs that come out of that system it's no dancing and reversing feel and doing you hey man you got one cut downhill yeah it's like It's going to go one, two, three.

Speaker 4 Everybody going to disappear. And that's just the way the O-line was.
You know, that's the way the system was set up.

Speaker 4 And then you had guys that were doing the extra, the Shannon Sharps, the Rod Smiths, the Eddie Max.

Speaker 4 Like, that was a blessing for me to be around those guys because they knew how to win and they won as a team. So that ego was out of the door.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Was it an adjustment at all, learning that one-cut system? Like, put your foot in the ground. You have to, I would imagine you have to see blocks develop in a different way in that system than

Speaker 4 it wasn't really, it wasn't really an adjustment to me because

Speaker 4 if you look at i think i played nine years i had seven different offense coordinators you know so every year i was adjusting and people don't people don't have that discussion but from from college you know uh it was just one of those your first read is the most important and if you stay on your first read you get to the point that your first read gets you to and that's where you make your move like don't you do anything prior to stepping on this point and i think in that system, that was so great because once you got there, you had free reign to do anything, but you had to get to that point first.

Speaker 4 And, you know, being that I helped with backs,

Speaker 4 teaching young backs, that's what I try to get them. This play is designed to get you here without being touched.
Now, once you get here, you got to turn into a playmaker.

Speaker 1 So then

Speaker 1 you go to D.C., Joe Gibbs comes back.

Speaker 1 Your very first play from the line of scrimmage, your first carry against the Bucs, right? Counter-tre to the house.

Speaker 1 When you were back on the Redskins, I think a lot of people were like,

Speaker 1 maybe Joe Gibbs, we'll see if his coaching philosophy and systems can translate to the modern game. That offseason, when he's installing that counter-trey-based running offense, all that shit.

Speaker 1 Was there a part of you that was like, this seems like some old school football? I don't know if it's going to work. Or were you guys all bought in from the start?

Speaker 4 We just bought in, you know, and Coach Gibbs is my favorite coach. You know, I played for some great guys.
I think Coach Shanahan was a great coach.

Speaker 4 But Coach Gibbs, man, just everything about Coach Gibbs was winner. You know, the way he carry himself, who he is as a person, the way he lives life.
Like, it was a winner.

Speaker 4 So when you're talking to a winner, when you're talking to a guy who's won and everything, like Coach Gibbs was an open book, like my favorite coach by far.

Speaker 4 Still converse with him, still call and check on him.

Speaker 4 Coach Gibbs, it was just that, like, whatever whatever you need me to do, you know, like you want me to jump, enter the stadium from jumping out of an airplane.

Speaker 4 Coach, although I'm scared shitless, I'm going to do it. You know, like, that's the relationship that Coach Gibbs brought out of a lot of the guys.

Speaker 1 He doesn't cuss, right? You don't hear him cuss?

Speaker 4 He doesn't curse.

Speaker 1 Never even like when he's really mad. No,

Speaker 4 it's like, and he would get, he would get really red, and it would be like he's pointing at his chin and kind of shaking.

Speaker 1 So that was the curse word you know I got the reds is what he said that was you gotta have the reds you know and it would be like yeah like I got the reds you know whatever

Speaker 1 so

Speaker 4 but that was just coach Gibbs man he had a way to affect you it didn't take cursing it didn't take like it was just I'm gonna allow you to be you just do it full speed so you uh were eccentric when you were playing you had the costumes do you have any different characters that you look back on and be like oh that one sucked?

Speaker 1 Or I love that one? Because you had everything. Reverend going to change?

Speaker 4 Dollar Bill. What's crazy is those costumes playing around because I wasn't practicing a lot.
So we were doing that prior to the media catching us.

Speaker 4 I had been doing it just playing around and walkthrough with my teammates because the energy was low. So, you know, our old line thought I was fucked up.

Speaker 4 Like, they thought I was screwed up in the head.

Speaker 1 Oh, I thought you were fucked up in the head. Yeah.
Like, I loved it.

Speaker 4 They thought I was screwed up in the the head. Like, they were like, what is wrong with this guy?

Speaker 4 You know, like, and then what's crazy is if you, I think maybe two weeks or three weeks, you see the entire team

Speaker 4 participate. You see the Chris Cooley, the rock cartwright,

Speaker 4 Brandon Lloyd, like Devin Thomas. You see the entire team,

Speaker 4 I think it was Bro Sweets.

Speaker 1 And every,

Speaker 4 I had like seven or eight of my teammates participating with me. And I think that's the game that everyone bought in.
Yeah. And it changed our culture.
You know, like it changed our locker room.

Speaker 4 Everybody bought in. And then from that point on, it was like every player, his wife or his kid or somebody in his family sent a wig or sent some glasses or had

Speaker 4 some input on it. And for me, it was just like, yeah, it was keeping it loose.
And, you know, we had a win streak going and the guys started to buy in. And it it just turned into like it fed

Speaker 4 the city, you know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, who was your favorite character that you did?

Speaker 4 I would, I would say, bro sweets, and the reason I would say bro sweets is because everybody was there, and I wasn't gonna do it. Like, I didn't come with

Speaker 4 gargoyle, like, I didn't come with glasses or a wig or anything, I was done. I only had like three or four costumes, and I was out.
And, you know, I show up, I show up to practice, in the parking lot.

Speaker 4 I'm thinking somebody got traded, like something crazy happened. CNN, like all of these big trucks were sitting in the parking lot.
Like, man, what's going on? Like, what happened?

Speaker 4 You know, and I come in and I'm like, like, what happened? You know, I'm looking for Miss BJ, but it's early morning. Like, man, like, who in the hell ain't got traded or who got in trouble?

Speaker 4 And when I finally.

Speaker 4 find somebody with an answer. They was like, oh, no, that's the media.
They're here for your costume.

Speaker 4 i'm like i don't even have a costume and they were like what i'm like i don't have no costume like i'm not doing that today and they were like no what do you need like we gotta do it and i'm like

Speaker 4 bro whatever y'all go get like i'll i'll be creative enough to do something with it and they went and got so much stuff that's why everybody was able to be in costume uh that third week so i would say bro sweet would you get into character i remember sheriff gonna get you that was my favorite one that you you did.

Speaker 4 Yeah, when I look back, you know, if someone sends me the clip and I look back, I often laugh like,

Speaker 1 what was I thinking? You know, like,

Speaker 1 what was I thinking?

Speaker 4 You know, what was I going through? What was I dealing with? But I can remember all of those times. You know,

Speaker 4 I did the

Speaker 4 Napoleon Dynamite. And that was one of my favorites because everyone who knew me, like, I was always quoting Napoleon Dynamite and doing crazy stuff in the room.

Speaker 4 So, uh, when we did that, like, I remember talking to Randall L and maybe Mike Sellers in Santana, like, messing with them. Like, yeah, I taught them this.
So, uh, it was a good time.

Speaker 4 You know, I could recall the memories. Like, each costume, I can kind of recall like that environment that day.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Coach Janky Spanky. There were some good ones.
There's some real good ones.

Speaker 1 Do you remember in, I think it was 2008, Chris Cooley, your teammate, when he posted a picture of his penis online? You remember that?

Speaker 4 I do. That was like the beginning of online.
Yeah. And like, I remember Coach was so like,

Speaker 4 like, what is wrong with Chris Cooley? Like, I remember Coach Gibbs calling me to talk to Chris Cooley.

Speaker 4 Clint, have you talked to Chris? Is everything okay? I'm like, Coach, he's perfectly fine. Like, and on his folder, and this is what people don't know,

Speaker 4 the picture that he posted, like, he was drawing balls in, like, cocks on his folders and turning them into Coach Gibbs.

Speaker 4 Like, no one ever talked about that, but he was, like, y'all was all over his folder. Yeah.
And he was turning in to Coach Gibbs.

Speaker 4 And Coach Gibbs thought, like, this kid is like, this kid is off his rocker.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I think he was, it was for like his own blog that he was doing.

Speaker 1 He was like in his hotel room. He took a picture of his playbook to be like, look, I'm up all night studying.
And his tiny little penis was just like poking in the bottom of the picture.

Speaker 1 It's like, dude, you didn't look at this before you put on your own blog. Hey, Cooley, Coolie is crazy.

Speaker 4 Coolie was one of my favorite teammates.

Speaker 1 Ah, good dude. Dumb question.

Speaker 1 I always love the visor look on a running back.

Speaker 1 Was there ever a time when you like couldn't when you would tint it and you're like, I can't even see, but this looks cool?

Speaker 1 Because like when you play Madden, it's like first thing you do, tint the visor.

Speaker 4 It, you know, it, it, I never had that issue.

Speaker 4 When it stopped being cool, was the NFL when they started finding me. Really? Oh, yeah, those fines started.

Speaker 4 And, you know, it was like when it was the $5,000 fine, you were like, oh, well, like, I'm going to wear this for $5,000. And then it started doubling and tripling.

Speaker 4 And, you know, I think the Eagles game, when me and Sean came out with the candy cane and, you know,

Speaker 4 the different

Speaker 4 shoes, the soccer cleats, and he had his face masks taped up.

Speaker 4 I think they they fined us like like 70k yeah you know that's significant yeah yeah that's when it was like man this shit's not worth it you know uh but those fines just started adding up you like okay it's five grand like cool whatever but once it once they hit us for the big lick i was like yeah i'm done yeah and then that following week the uh the refs As soon as I walked out of the tunnel, like stopped me and was like, any infraction, you're out of here.

Speaker 4 And I'm just like, what are you talking about? And they were like, any infraction. Like, they checked my socks, they checked my shoes.

Speaker 4 My gloves had to be the same. Like, my visor, they were like, any infraction, you're gone.

Speaker 1 That's insane. But you looked awesome.
Yeah, visor. The visor was worth it.
Awesome look.

Speaker 4 They appreciate it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was a good look for that game. It's also insane that they would throw you out of a game if your socks were like the wrong height.

Speaker 4 But what's crazy is they adopted that.

Speaker 4 My car is my cleats. Yeah, I I was the first one with the gold bottoms and all of that.

Speaker 4 Then they found a way to capitalize.

Speaker 1 Yeah, monetize. Yeah, that's how they found a way to monetize it.

Speaker 1 It also means that you've probably saved a lot of lives because there's all this my cause, my cleats, people raising money for charity.

Speaker 1 Now it's a charity thing that would not exist if it wasn't for Clinton Portis. Yeah, you're a hero.

Speaker 4 And all the fines,

Speaker 4 I probably paid for a lot of those charities from the beginning.

Speaker 4 I promise you, I paid for a lot of those charities. But I think it's a great cause now.
It's just how you monetize it, you know, when the individuality of a player, you took away.

Speaker 1 This is maybe a dumb question, hard question, but when you're a running back and you're getting later on in your career, what's the first thing?

Speaker 1 Where you're like, oh, shit, I'm old. Like, what is it? Is it the burst? Is it, you know, the power? Is it like, what was the first time when you're like, oh,

Speaker 1 this isn't me being 21 years old anymore? This feels different.

Speaker 4 I don't even think I got to that feeling. I think for me, it was the politics.
Oh. When you start

Speaker 4 realizing and recognizing the politics of the game.

Speaker 4 And it happened for me on the sideline. We were playing the Stillers

Speaker 4 2008, I think. And for me, the incentive was...

Speaker 4 It was going to be the fastest I ever got to a thousand yards. And I was leading the NFL.
I think I had like 980 something yards rushing.

Speaker 4 So it's like my incentive is I'm coming out of week eight and I'm already at a thousand yards. Like it's up.
You know, like for me, that was the incentive. And it was taken the wrong way.

Speaker 4 I'm telling the coach, like, run the ball

Speaker 4 because I got this. Like, I'm going to get these yards.
You're getting yards for me, but it wasn't acting selfishly. Like, hey, let's run the ball.
It was kind of, I'm in my bag.

Speaker 4 I know they can't stop me. So give me the ball.

Speaker 4 And we had a blow up on the sideline, and it just kind of changed. Like, he felt like I was being.

Speaker 1 Like, I'm not worried about your stats. And I'm like, what are you talking about? Yeah, you're averaging over four yards a carry.
Yeah, that's what it turns out every time.

Speaker 4 He's not worried about stats. Like, I'm telling you, I'm going to get whatever I need to get done, and I'm going to lead this team.
And I think after that conversation, it kind of went the wrong way.

Speaker 4 And we had a bye week. We came back and we played Dallas and, you know, we had this crazy, we're going to throw the ball against the markets where like that's a bad idea, you know.

Speaker 4 And anytime I could tell if we were going to win or lose against Dallas, just contingent upon the game plan. If it was pass heavy, they're going to win.

Speaker 4 If it was run heavy, we were going to win, you know.

Speaker 4 So, it was one of those three-week stretches where I went from leading the league in the NFL to three weeks or four weeks later, I probably had gained a hundred yards because me and the coach had a rift on the sideline where he felt like I was being selfish.

Speaker 4 So, I think it was at that point. I'm like, yeah, man, this

Speaker 4 I'm over this.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think we were, what, six and two at the time?

Speaker 4 We were definitely six and two. We were really good.
We were six and two.

Speaker 1 And then shit fell completely apart.

Speaker 4 And that's the reason it fell apart. And people never talk about that, but that's the reason it fell apart.

Speaker 4 It was like four weeks that it was some internal stuff going on that people didn't know about that just separated that team. Because at 6-2, we were playing really good football.

Speaker 4 And then it got to the point like, okay, I'm going to show you. I'm the coach.
We're not running the ball. This isn't about you.
And then we lose three games in a row. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Is it okay that I say we? I always think about that.

Speaker 4 If I'm talking to a player like it's we if you're we, if I'm with

Speaker 1 you, you went through it with us. I was with you.
I was with you that whole time. You went through it with us.
So in the transition between Gibbs, he leaves the team.

Speaker 1 They're trying to figure out who to hire as next coach. This was maybe the weirdest coaching search of all time that the Redskins went through.
We hired Jim Zorn, the offensive coordinator, right?

Speaker 1 He was a quarterback's coach. We brought him in as an OC.

Speaker 1 Then everyone was like, oh, we're going to hire Fossell from the, he used to coach for the Giants. He's going to be the next next head coach.

Speaker 1 Things kind of went sideways with that for whatever reason. I don't know.
Maybe you can explain that. But then Snyder says, okay, we're just going to, you know what?

Speaker 1 Zorn's going to be the head coach now. I know he's never called plays before.
He's never been a head coach before. But I believe in this guy.
He's going to be the head coach.

Speaker 1 As a player on that team, when you're going through that process, do you just sit back and be like, can somebody explain to me the logic behind this?

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 4 you got me speechless and that's rare I think as a player we wanted we wanted coach Williams everybody wanted Greg Williams yeah

Speaker 4 to to be the coach you know

Speaker 4 and if Greg Williams takes over that team I honestly think within those years because that team was so

Speaker 4 put together from Coach Gibbs and Coach Williams philosophy was kind of that hard no is just like coach gibbs I think we had an opportunity for more playoffs and possibly to make a run with the team built the way that it was.

Speaker 4 And then once you switched to the new guy, it was

Speaker 4 downhill because that shift of being tough, that shift of being a redskin, which Coach Gibbs had, that toughness, you know, which Coach Gibbs had built. disappeared that quick.
You know, it was like,

Speaker 4 let's go another direction. You know, I don't want to be the tough.
We're going to be finesse. We're going to be, you know, and we got, we went from tough to soft

Speaker 4 and the faces and voices changed so quickly that the direction was lost. You know,

Speaker 4 for a bunch of the guys that I would say were the leaders that were the

Speaker 4 blood, sweat, and tears,

Speaker 4 you kind of wanted to silence them and go in a different direction. And when you went in that direction, it lost the team because those guys didn't have the respect of the hard nose.

Speaker 4 So the people who landed on the line, you know, were kind of like, you're landing on the line, but you're not my guy.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 4 this is my guy. And you're like,

Speaker 4 that guy is soft. Like, that guy is, you know, garbage.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 4 it was one of those situations. And,

Speaker 4 you know, in 08,

Speaker 4 after the season, we went to San Francisco. We finished the season in San Fran, New Year's.
I actually betrayed. You know, that never got out.
But I tried to leave. I'm like, just trade me.

Speaker 4 You know, like, get me out of here because this is going.

Speaker 4 This is going in the wrong direction. You know, from Coach Gibbs to missing Greg Williams to the direction we went in, in that

Speaker 4 six to eight months, it changed everything.

Speaker 1 We love Dr. Heat.
We love Greg Williams on the show.

Speaker 1 Big time. In practice, would he just, would he fuck up the offensive game plan? Because he just blitz everybody all the time?

Speaker 4 Oh, he was arrogant, but that was a good thing because that made us competitive. You know,

Speaker 4 when those guys, you never knew what he was going to do, and then you had craziness like Marcus Washington and Sean and Antonio Pierce. Like, you had these guys who were just like his,

Speaker 4 like, this his heat-seeking muscle.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 And it's a guy that you respect, you know, Marcus Washington coming off the end, full speed, disrupting. What are you going to say to that? That's the way he play.

Speaker 4 Ashan T Blitz, and what are you going to say? That's the way he plays. So it's not like he's doing this.
you know, as a practice player. It's like, okay, let me buckle my shit up.

Speaker 4 Like, they own one today.

Speaker 4 You know, so, yeah it was more of that and once you once you lost that and you started to see the politics like everybody going to ask for greg and this is what you give us like do you really want to win you know it was a lot of questions who's your favorite back right now watch

Speaker 4 uh of course it's hard not to say christian mccaffrey yeah because i know the system that he's in but i think those backs in miami which i mean that's you know

Speaker 4 most Yeah, that kid, A-Chain, when he comes back,

Speaker 4 that separates Miami. You know, that gives them another dimension.

Speaker 4 But I like guys like that. I love guys who can hit the home run from anywhere.
You know, you look at Brees Hall.

Speaker 4 I don't think he get enough opportunity, but when he puts the ball in his hand, he's out. Like, it's a big play waiting to happen.
I think ETN is getting into his bag as well.

Speaker 4 You know, I've been watching him lately, and I think he's growing as a running back. So

Speaker 4 I love the young guy, like the explosive guy that can take it the distance from anywhere because you're not getting that opportunity.

Speaker 4 You know, you look at Derrick Henry, who's, you know, was getting 20 to 25 touches a game.

Speaker 1 His touches are down. Yeah.

Speaker 4 And he's not having the same effect on the game, but your quarterback is house of not house of back is

Speaker 1 what's quarterback name? Oh, Will Hill. Tennehill or Will.
Tennell. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, your quarterback is Tennehill, and you're throwing the ball 40 or 50 times a game.

Speaker 1 That's not adding up.

Speaker 4 Like, I got Derrick Henry, and I got Tannehill, and I'm letting Tannehill showcase his talent. It's something wrong with that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 You mentioned Antonio Pierce. He's now the head coach of the Las Vegas Raiders.
That's kind of wild that he got installed as an interim. How do you think he's going to be as a coach?

Speaker 4 I think he's going to be great. You know, what's crazy is AP's entire career has been crazy.
So

Speaker 4 AP was the special teams guy for the Redskins, and

Speaker 4 he was a key contributor in our run, you know, and everybody loved him. Like,

Speaker 4 he was big on our team. And, you know, he was about to sign a deal.
with the Redskins to stay in town. I think we had like six weeks left, four to six weeks left, and they had offered him him like

Speaker 4 like two million he come down and says everybody knew he was negotiating you know he came downstairs with his head down it was like the last day of negotiations and he was about to sign for like 2.5

Speaker 4 and he you know like he was sad like man they lowballing me but i'm finna sign it and i'm like who your agent you know he was like whatever his agent name was i'm like man i'm gonna call my agent and my agent was drew rosenhouse i called drew like drew man, we got this kid, Ape.

Speaker 4 Like, Antonio Pierce, he's really good. They're lowballing him.
Like,

Speaker 4 his agent really not helping.

Speaker 4 You should talk to him. You know, I introduced them.
AP ended up not signing that deal.

Speaker 4 Shortly after, he goes to New York, becomes a team captain, Super Bowl, Super Bowl, you know, like, and his career just blossomed after that. So I think AP does well.

Speaker 4 I wish it was a fair opportunity instead of this interim where you're going to go and look for someone else, you know.

Speaker 4 But it gives him an opportunity to showcase what he's capable of.

Speaker 4 And if you look at that Giants' defense, AP was the one to put everybody in space, put everybody in position to get them guys together.

Speaker 4 That D-line, the line back and core, to have everybody where they needed to be. So he's a really smart guy.

Speaker 4 I think instantly the Raiders' defense improves, but I don't know offensively how much they bring brings to the table.

Speaker 4 But if I had Devontae Adams in fantasy, I would think the AP is going to get him the ball. Feeding the ball.

Speaker 1 He has to.

Speaker 1 Dumb question that I like to ask some of our professional athletes to come on the show. How cool was it being fast? Because you were really fucking fast.
You ran track in high school, right?

Speaker 4 Yeah, it was.

Speaker 1 You're just faster than everyone. Do you ever think about like, man, that was awesome when I was so fast? Yeah, it was.

Speaker 4 But it seemed like back in that day, everybody was fast. It seemed like everybody ran track.
You know, like I can remember being in a, in a race, we were in the

Speaker 4 in the Biggies Championships, and I just looked down the line, and you got Santana Moss, Philip Buchanan, Najay Davenport, Tori Mitchell, myself, and Daryl Jones. It's only eight lanes.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 It's only eight lanes. And six of the kids were from the football team.

Speaker 1 Right. And I'm like,

Speaker 4 I wasn't even the fastest i think i i finished fourth that's crazy like i finished fourth santana tori phillip and then me that's nuts you know do you think it's weird that that guys don't run track anymore yeah i think it's really weird and and the the the weirdest part about it is that's where all the like that's where that's the fun because all the women are on the track team yeah like why wouldn't you why wouldn't you run track yeah you don't get hit yeah why wouldn't you run track and it was a way for to get out of workouts for me, yeah.

Speaker 4 So it was like, Coach, we got a track meet, man. I can't be in here lifting all these crazy weights.

Speaker 4 He would be like, Port is like, get up, and you know, eventually let me just go on the track practice and handle my business. I'd be like, Coach, man, all this weight, like it's slowing me down.

Speaker 1 You're gonna get me burnt, like, you're gonna get me smoked, you know.

Speaker 4 So, it was just one of those, but it was so fun because the guys

Speaker 4 for us,

Speaker 4 for myself, Tana, Andre Johnson, like that gave us a chance to just get out of Miami

Speaker 4 and really bond. So when we came back to the team, we got more shorts.
Eric Reed was on it, he was throwing javelin. Like half hour of football

Speaker 4 was on the track team.

Speaker 1 That's the most intimidating track team of all time. It has to be.
The coach of

Speaker 1 the Miami track team is the luckiest person. Jesus.
He's like, I'm just going to invite all these guys.

Speaker 1 He's all my guys.

Speaker 4 And he's throwing javelins.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 I got to see some tape of that. Yeah, yeah.
Being fast would be cool. I've never been fast.
So,

Speaker 4 I mean, you lose it. That's that's the thing about you're definitely going to get slower as you age.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Um, all right, so give us your Super Bowl pick.
Who you got this year? Who are your two favorite teams? Oh, I like the Eagles.

Speaker 4 I think, I think the Eagles in the NFC, they're the most complete team right now, barring any injury, and they have depth. So, barring nothing happens to Hurts or Brown or Smith,

Speaker 4 I think the Eagles go NFC.

Speaker 4 And AFC,

Speaker 4 if Lamar continues to develop

Speaker 4 and that defense, you know, it's a new D coordinator. They're getting their stuff together.

Speaker 4 If that defense hits stride in December, January, where they have that identity back of a Baltimore Ravens defense,

Speaker 4 I think the Ravens become tough because the goal is to keep Lamar fresh during the season.

Speaker 4 And if you can get him into the playoffs healthy instead of nagging injuries like every other year, I think he brings a different element and dimension to that team. So right now,

Speaker 4 what he's learning to do in keeping himself fresh is going to be problems for people down the line.

Speaker 1 Okay, Okay, good answer. All right.
I have one last question.

Speaker 1 So y'all know that we're big fans of Cracker Barrel. And this holiday season, I will be sat at their table with a big plate of country fried turkey.

Speaker 6 And Brandon, I'll be right there with you, and I'll check it off my Christmas list in the country store while I'm at it. It'll make a nice holiday tradition.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's so cute of you.

Speaker 6 Enjoy all the more holiday traditions only at Cracker Barrel.

Speaker 1 Okay, this is a hypothetical last question, and we're going to probably talk about it in Firefest, but you've been in a lot of team situations.

Speaker 1 What do you do if one guy on your team, he's got the easiest job in the world. All he's got to do is, let's say, press a button and he doesn't press the button and he fails the whole team.

Speaker 1 How do you deal with that?

Speaker 4 You whoop him. Okay.

Speaker 1 Whoop him. All right.
That's a good answer. We'll whoop him.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 At Miami, that guy would have got whooped.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.
I like that.

Speaker 4 He would have got hands and feet put on him.

Speaker 1 Okay, hands and feet put on him. I like it.

Speaker 4 I like it. Maybe nobody would have known about it.
Yeah. But he and the body

Speaker 1 see the bruises.

Speaker 4 The next time he'd have pressed that button early.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 4 Hold on. Let's get this right.
One, two, three, and you want me to press the button.

Speaker 1 All you got to do is press the button. All you got to do is press the button.

Speaker 4 He would have understood.

Speaker 4 So I think that was the great thing about Miami D. The discipline came from the players, not even the coaches.
The discipline came from the players. And

Speaker 4 it was a bonding moment because you were holding each other accountable. So

Speaker 4 all of that, that little sneaky and somebody saw you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Somebody saw you. Whoop them.

Speaker 1 Okay. I like that.
I like that. Our producer forgot to press the button on Wednesday.
The podcast just didn't go out.

Speaker 1 Put hands and feet on it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Ooh, whoop them. All right.
Well, Clinton, this has been awesome, man. So much fun.
Also, tune in Pro Football Football Show. Clinton was on this week.
That's airing on YouTube.

Speaker 1 8 o'clock Eastern on Friday night.

Speaker 1 Awesome time with you today. Yeah.
Thanks so much. I know people will be listening to this on Friday, but you're going to stick around for the stream too.
We're going to watch the ball. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 I'll be here. Yeah.
Thank you for winning a playoff game for us. We won a playoff game.

Speaker 4 And that was the last time.

Speaker 1 That was the last time. I think Mark Brunel had like 42 yards passing.
You had a touchdown. I remember that.

Speaker 1 That's honestly, that's the highlight of my career fandom as a Washington Redskin commander. So thank you for that.

Speaker 4 It should have been so much fun.

Speaker 4 Like, I think, I honestly think the year that we lost to Seattle, we were up at halftime.

Speaker 4 Carlos Rogers

Speaker 4 missed a pick six.

Speaker 4 And the onside kick, I think we recover an onside kick and we come out throwing the ball for midfield and they stop us. We go for it on fourth down and that changes the game.

Speaker 4 You know, if we win that game, I honestly think, because we had already played the Bears and the Steelers that year, I honestly think that give us a chance at that Detroit Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 We're running the damn ball. Yeah.
That's what we were doing. All right.
Well, thanks so much, Clinton. Appreciate it, man.

Speaker 4 Hey, no problem. Thanks, man.

Speaker 8 Clinton. Experian is your big financial friend, helping you find ways to save, manage your credit, and apply for cards labeled no ding decline.

Speaker 7 No approval?

Speaker 8 No ding. Download the Experian app today.
Disclaimer: Applying for no ding decline cards won't hurt your credit scores if you aren't initially approved.

Speaker 8 Initial approval will result in a hard inquiry, which will impact your your credit scores.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is a pardon my take exclusive.
It is Tiffany Gomez. She is here in studio.
You probably remember her. She did go viral a few months ago.

Speaker 1 The plane incident, which

Speaker 1 we could put that in the past. I mean, who cares about that? Right? Oh, is that fingers crossed? Please.
Oh, please. Yeah, yeah.
So I don't even remember that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't even remember what we're talking about. just our friends.
So we invited you to come on the podcast. Right.
So

Speaker 1 what did you see?

Speaker 3 You really start off with that?

Speaker 1 Well, it's a hard question. You start off with a hard question, and then it's like everything's going to get easy off that.
Yeah. Wow.
We can start off and then we'll jump to big guys.

Speaker 1 First question, sup.

Speaker 1 Yeah, sup. Sup.

Speaker 1 Just so you know, like, I'm kind of like, so I got three kids. Like, I'm the dad.
Like, I kind of like Hank's dad. He's the cool guy here.

Speaker 1 So, like, I'm like the dad of the podcast, but Hank is like our guy okay yeah yeah i just wanted to set the stage well hank kind of runs barcelo sports yeah i've heard he drives an audio he's the guy behind the scenes he's the best golfer he's he's always on vacation he's the guy yeah i see you're like saving kittens and all sorts of shit oh yeah i mean that's people you know people

Speaker 1 yeah i drive a lamborghini i donate to charity constantly

Speaker 1 the addict all that stuff all right so i'll start it easier then no i'm kidding no we can get to that All right.

Speaker 1 So, how crazy has your life been in the last like few months? Because I would imagine, like, you know, the internet's a weird place.

Speaker 1 You go viral and you're like, holy shit, all these people watch this video. This is insane.
Oh, man. I, yeah, it was.

Speaker 3 It's been very wild.

Speaker 3 I don't even know how to explain it, honestly. There's like no playbook to going viral, right? No.
Like, I'm just a normal person, is contrary to what people think.

Speaker 3 Promise you I'm a pretty normal person.

Speaker 3 And after this all went viral, yeah, my life did change. Like I chilled for a little bit and people didn't think that because like DMZ and all the things, but no, I did.

Speaker 3 Like I didn't come out of my house for like over four weeks.

Speaker 1 That's crazy.

Speaker 3 Like literally blinds down everything.

Speaker 1 So, all right, so walk us through when it happens. So it happens and then you go home and then the next day it goes viral.
And are you like,

Speaker 1 nah, it's not that big of a deal.

Speaker 1 Only a few places have posted it, and then you're like, oh, wait, fuck, this has now become like a meme, and everything, because I would imagine it's a very scary feeling.

Speaker 3 That's a funny story.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 3 obviously, I leave the airport finally, which I did not get arrested. I know everyone thinks I did.
Don't know how I did it, but I did not get arrested.

Speaker 3 And I had already left when they like came out with some citation or something. So, I didn't refuse to sign anything.
Like, I just was gone. You left, yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 So I'm like in the Uber calling my mom. I'm like, this is bad.
Like, mom, this is bad. And I'm like, I'm going to go viral tomorrow.

Speaker 1 So you saw the phone

Speaker 1 at the time.

Speaker 1 I just knew what a fool I acted.

Speaker 3 Like, I just knew, like, I knew I was going viral. Yeah.
And you know how social media is. Like, I'm not dumb to realize what's going to happen.
So that was like a later flight.

Speaker 3 By the time I got home,

Speaker 3 I am like literally like a crazy person. Not literally, but searching like American Airlines, American Airlines on TikTok.
Like I'm like, I know it's going to come out. And I am freaking out inside.

Speaker 3 Like, talk about anxiety. Way more anxiety than I had in the moment.
Right.

Speaker 3 So anyways, yeah, we,

Speaker 3 I got on another flight at 6 a.m.

Speaker 3 on Southwest.

Speaker 1 Successful flight.

Speaker 3 Successful flight.

Speaker 1 Wearing the same outfit. Yep.

Speaker 3 Wait, did you put your hair down at least the next time no i can't like my hair is wet like the reason why i slick it back like that people think that's like oh she's trying to get no no like that's my lazy fit like yeah you're on an airplane my hair's wet yeah like i tie it in a bun like it's long as hell it takes 30 minutes to blow dry it like i'm trying to do that every day right

Speaker 3 so um

Speaker 3 yeah we get there and we're going on a cruise so you like drop off your bags like immediately so i can't even change so the only person that knows what's going on is my mom and we have like my grandparents, my siblings, everybody's there.

Speaker 1 On a family cruise. Oh, yeah.
But I'm the only one on, like, I'm on a separate flight.

Speaker 3 Right.

Speaker 3 Um, I'm meeting them there. So yeah, I like can't even like get a new shirt out of my bag.

Speaker 1 I'm like, mom, you have a hat?

Speaker 3 Like, do you have a beach hat? Like, sunglasses? Anything. But it hadn't gone that, that viral yet.
Thank goodness. Um,

Speaker 3 but that night, I like literally got off of all of social media. Yes.
I deactivated every account, deleted every photo.

Speaker 3 The only photo they can find is like 10 or 12 years old from an old, like, they're like, she doesn't look like the same girl. Well, I hope not.
That was 12 years ago.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. Like, I mean,

Speaker 3 I've not got my eyebrows microbladed since then. Sorry.

Speaker 1 You're not a clone officially, because then when the apology video came out, everybody was like, oh, it's a different person.

Speaker 1 Are you a CIA plant? Is this a big option? Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I'm a Fed. I'm CIA.
I mean, the conspiracy theories are really good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they kind of are.

Speaker 3 And they're really entertaining to listen to, but no.

Speaker 1 We were saying when it happened, like, these everyone that thinks that this is a different person.

Speaker 3 Like, have you ever been with a girl?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Women have like a hundred different looks.
Yeah. Hanks that they can get into.
Hank's been. A lot.
Well, but not that. Not too many.
Not too many. The right amount.
A good amount of good amount.

Speaker 1 He's experienced. Yeah, yeah.
Right. Hank's kind of

Speaker 1 the perfect amount. Oh, my God.
I care. Zabby, actually.
Yeah. Wait, so, okay.
Can I ask again what you saw?

Speaker 3 You know, the reason why I probably haven't come out yet, because it's like so cringe I did not see anything what

Speaker 3 I mean I think y'all knew that okay I we honestly had no idea yeah you said you did no I did not the media

Speaker 1 you said this motherfucker's not real

Speaker 1 okay like apologies yeah so I

Speaker 3 got in a bit of an altercation. It spiraled out of control.
It was not my best moment. I mean, it was actually a horrible moment.
It's absolutely mortifying.

Speaker 1 Everyone has bad moments on planes.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but mine, you know, 450 million plus people have seen it. Yep.

Speaker 1 Like, that meant Jesus, a lot of people.

Speaker 3 Exactly. Exactly.
Thank God people don't think it's me, though. Yeah, I'm cool with that.

Speaker 1 I'm cool with that.

Speaker 3 I'm happy if they don't think it's me.

Speaker 1 So what you're saying is that clip that we all saw, that motherfucker's not real, is not like you thinking that someone is an alien. It was just the tail end of an argument.

Speaker 3 It was an expression of speech.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 So it was just like you had had an argument with some guy on the plane and then as you're leaving you're like that motherfucker's not real yeah that's it like an armrest like you guys are fighting over

Speaker 1 fight over

Speaker 1 this overhead space this is way less crazy by the way you're completely vindicated like because everyone obviously said they watched the clip and they're like oh what'd you see an alien what'd you see this like no no she was just saying that motherfucker's not real yeah i mean so daily mail was like the first to like take it and run with it and they're like she saw a not real person and i'm like they are making me look bash it yeah and given I did like I did look absolutely crazy

Speaker 3 but no I'm

Speaker 3 just was in my feels needed to get off that I was highly distressed

Speaker 1 not a good look it was not a good situation yeah so was it not a good look so was it armrest guy smell bad

Speaker 3 no I was actually in the aisle seat and I like gave up my aisle seat because I'm as you heard me say I'm only 5'2

Speaker 3 in my little bratty ass voice. Like, so sorry for that, by the way.

Speaker 3 So gave up. I was in the middle seat.
And it was just,

Speaker 3 there was just a really bad energy. And I don't want to get into like all the details of that.
Just, as you know, there's it's ongoing and she's probably not the smartest to get into that.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 1 I feel like you're vindicated now because it really was everyone thought like, oh, she saw something. She saw something.
She's crazy. She's on drugs.
I mean, I really did. That's just an expression.

Speaker 1 That wouldn't be cooler if I was

Speaker 3 It would be way cooler if I did.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. And now, like people dressing up as you for Halloween.
That's crazy. That's kind of that's wild.
Was there one in particular that you saw, and you're like, that's my favorite?

Speaker 3 Um, there was actually this little baby that was adorable that they dressed up, but you know, there was the one girl that like panned to the bunny that like Dallas TV News put on, and that one was pretty legit.

Speaker 1 Baby's pretty funny. Babies all babies are funny, yeah.

Speaker 3 But the baby is like honorable mention for sure.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so after this happens, and when you see like the first

Speaker 1 like five, ten minutes of you going viral and you're like, shit, somebody put it out. This is happening.
Did you like hope that somebody very famous died right then?

Speaker 1 So then that way people just focus on that and see what it is. You know what? It's so great.

Speaker 3 There's so many things that happened that it still continued to go viral.

Speaker 1 And I have no clue why. Like

Speaker 3 people that shit on a plane. Like, yeah.
I mean, I was like,

Speaker 1 I thought that was the best thing for you. I was like, I was like, we're going to move on.
It still didn't go away. It's like it still didn't.
It was shit on a plane.

Speaker 3 Yeah. And

Speaker 3 I was like, really? Like, don't get me confused with the person that shit on the plane. Like, I just lost my shit.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I got a theory, and I hope you don't take this the wrong way. I think maybe you are attractive.
That might have been why people, people like, no, seriously, like, the internet is a horny place.

Speaker 1 And so they're like, oh. attractive woman going crazy yeah i'd rather watch that video than like literal human feces i mean and let's be real like

Speaker 3 no pun intended

Speaker 3 my voice was just so high-pitched.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Then people are like that she doesn't sound the same. Well, thank God I don't sound like that every day.
Like who could deal with that?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you had a bad moment. It was amplified to like the big, it was like the wrong place at the wrong time times immediately.
It was really bad. It seems like it was really bad.

Speaker 1 And so now everyone has bad moments. Now you're really bad.
Your worst moment. Like exists as like the internet's focus of who you are as a person.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Some people like think I've like been trying to like, I've been trying to dodge it, honestly.

Speaker 3 Like I, you know I I put out the apology video because obviously I am really sorry to everybody on the plane like that I disrupted a lot of people and that's the I travel a lot and that's just really not my character um

Speaker 3 it was just a wild situation that I was in and I needed you know I did need to get off um I just wish I would have done it peacefully yeah not

Speaker 3 not making some outlandish comments. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, anyone who's like judging you long term is crazy. They're they're They're not real.
Those motherfuckers aren't real. Cause like, who doesn't have a bad moment? Who cares?

Speaker 3 And now it's like, for the longest time, I couldn't laugh about it.

Speaker 1 Like, now it's like, dude, you were out. You were out there.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Like, you need to chill. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You got to lean into it at some point.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Oh, well, now it's like, it is funny now that like a little time.

Speaker 1 Yeah, time has passed.

Speaker 3 Like, it was embarrassing. Like, I felt really bad for my family.
Like, super close with my family.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're going on a cruise with them. You can't be any closer than going on a fucking cruise.
Yeah, geez, that's good. It's horse.

Speaker 3 Can you imagine?

Speaker 1 Like, I go viral and I have to get on a goofy shit giving you a little bit of a picture.

Speaker 1 Disney,

Speaker 3 I am like losing my mind. The last thing I want to do is be on that, but it was probably the best thing for my mental health.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but I'm sure it was. A bunch of people wearing like mascot outfits jumping around you and you're going to be able to do it.

Speaker 3 I tried my hardest to get a picture of Minnie Mouse. Like, I tried.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 But she had a line like out the door.

Speaker 1 This should be a warning to everybody. Just never go on a cruise.
If you had never been on a cruise, this wouldn't have happened.

Speaker 1 Exactly. Cruise ships are like prisons.
Yeah, don't do it. Are your parents like internet literate where they knew what was going on or were you just like, yeah,

Speaker 1 there's this video going on. Good question for you.
No, I think it's a good question. Great question.
Thank you. Oh.
Good question. No, you just said it's a really good question.

Speaker 3 No, not at all. So my mom, her Facebook profile was public.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's it. The internet's

Speaker 3 the first person found me is because my mom's Facebook profile was public.

Speaker 1 I was like, mom, what are you doing?

Speaker 3 And I was like, okay, no, just okay. It's my fault.

Speaker 1 It's not my fault.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 So, anyways, she just deactivated her account because she felt so bad. I'm like, mom, it's not your fault.
Like, I was a crazy one.

Speaker 1 The people who are looking for your mom on Facebook are also the crazy people. Like, we live on the internet.
Our job is to be on the internet. Yeah.
It sucks. It really does.

Speaker 3 I mean, it's not very nice. No, it's not nice.

Speaker 3 But, I mean, I have pretty thick skin, but it's definitely callous now. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, there was a video of somebody that was like looking on their computer for your mom, trying to find your mom. That's a crazier moment.

Speaker 1 I was crazy kicked off a plane way crazier thank you yeah way way crazier but um well hey hank actually was telling us that before it was his point we like wanted to like

Speaker 3 my name didn't get released for so long which people are like i don't understand like why people you know like i said dallas news tv like they they put me on or they put my clip on and so then i have all these people texting me because i've already deactivated social media so i have all these people texting me they're like oh my god this is your doppling ganger this is you blah blah blah and i was like yeah yeah, cool.

Speaker 1 Looks a lot like me. Cool.
I've just been on this Disney cruise. I don't know what you're talking about.

Speaker 3 Literally just played it off and pretend. I was like, yeah, cool.
Never responded to anyone. Yeah.
Like my real friends, like my really close friends were like, oh, we could tell by your mannerism.

Speaker 3 I was like, that was cool.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And then you posted the apology video, which I think was really well done.

Speaker 1 And then.

Speaker 3 It was confusing to a lot of people.

Speaker 1 It's confusing because we want to know what you saw. That was the whole thing.
You didn't see anything. You know what? Deep down inside me, I thought that you, I thought you saw something cool.

Speaker 1 I wish I did. I really did.
I mean, who knows? I wish I did. Yeah.

Speaker 3 No, I

Speaker 3 had multiple people like telling me what I should and shouldn't do. You know, you have voices coming at every angle.
And it's like, you got to clear the noise, which I tried.

Speaker 3 And I was like, okay, who am I? You know, who am I? What do I really want?

Speaker 3 I want to disappear. Yeah.

Speaker 3 And I tried. And then the Travis Chapman painting came out of all the not reels.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 So then it's like, cool, it goes viral again.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Then it chills for a little bit. Then my name gets released.
It goes viral again. Yeah.
So it's like, everyone thinks, like, oh my God, I'm seeing this girl. Like, I didn't want that

Speaker 1 at all. It just got pushed on.

Speaker 3 No, I did not want that.

Speaker 1 And the internet will get rid of anything if you give it long enough. Yeah.
So

Speaker 1 I think talking about it also helps where it's like, if you're trying to conceal something, then people search harder. But if you're just like, this is what happened.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I wasn't trying to conceal anything per se, but like, I just, I'm not an athlete. I'm not a celebrity.
I'm not any of those things. So like, I didn't know I needed to make a statement.

Speaker 3 I didn't know I needed to do these things. Like, yes, I'm in marketing, but I'm not in crisis management.
I'm not in PR. Like, I

Speaker 3 did what I thought was right.

Speaker 3 And then it got a lot of backlash. Like, I just, I think no matter what I do, it's probably not going to be right.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Well, I can tell you one thing that you did wrong.

Speaker 1 I'll just say in like, listen, this is just all due respect. You took that picture of you in your kitchen

Speaker 1 when you. Oh, the feet? You put your feet out there.
You shouldn't have put your feet out there.

Speaker 3 No, I didn't really know that.

Speaker 1 Those fucking horny guys were like, you gave them away for free. No, shit.

Speaker 3 I should be making money on that. I know.

Speaker 1 Blurt him out. I know.

Speaker 1 If you want us to track those guys down, Hank will. He'll fuck you up.
I mean, I feel like I should get compensated for something. Well, that's why you don't give them away for free.

Speaker 1 I didn't know that was a thing. Yeah, unfortunately, it is.

Speaker 3 I think a lot of guys.

Speaker 1 A lot of guys.

Speaker 1 A weirdos. Not Hank, but there's a lot of weird guys out there.
We actually have a feet guy here.

Speaker 1 You could scrub. You could meet him face to face and be like,

Speaker 1 they're pretty. No, no, don't.
No, he probably already knows it. He's probably zoomed in.

Speaker 1 We'll actually blur out your boots that you're wearing right now. We don't want you to give this away at all.
Did you know when you released that photo? Were you like 10 minutes later like, shit?

Speaker 1 Everyone saw you.

Speaker 1 I had no clue.

Speaker 3 And then everyone's like, oh, you're AI, you're AI. And I was like, what?

Speaker 1 Wait.

Speaker 3 I mean, clearly y'all can tell I'm not.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're not AI. Oh, you're real.
You're real. You're not a robot.
You are fucking real. Yeah, thank you.
Actually, can we just get you to say, like, the Miami Dolphins are not fucking real?

Speaker 1 Can you say that? Just do it in a high-pitched voice. No, no, you can do it.
No, no, no. Your normal voice is good.

Speaker 3 Oh, I'm like, please don't make me bring that back.

Speaker 1 No, no. So bad.
Your normal voice is outstanding. It's a good voice.

Speaker 1 Thank you.

Speaker 3 It's much better than the Minnie Mouse. Like, everyone thought I was Minnie Mouse for the longest time.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What am I saying though, huh? The Miami Dolphins are not fucking real.

Speaker 3 The Miami Dolphins are not fucking real.

Speaker 1 Ooh, I like you. I I like that.
People are going to get mad at us for that. Yeah, they will.
They're going to get mad at you. They better get mad at you.
They're going to be happy.

Speaker 3 I don't need any more people mad at me.

Speaker 1 No one's going to get mad at you. Please don't.
People shouldn't be mad at you. They shouldn't.
It's crazy. Again, it's like your worst moment.
It happened to be caught on film. You did nothing.

Speaker 1 And then it resonated because you're an attractive woman and there's a lot of horny weirdos online. Yeah.
And so we keep going back to it.

Speaker 1 But yeah,

Speaker 1 when you were dealing with the aftermath of this, you do work in marketing. Did that affect your business life? Did that affect you?

Speaker 3 Thank God I work for myself.

Speaker 1 Okay, good.

Speaker 3 I saw some, oh, she got fired. Oh, thank you for letting me know.
I fired myself. That was great.

Speaker 1 You should have fired yourself. That would have been a good PR move.
Oh, yeah. We have let Tiffany go.
Yeah. Yeah.
Due to the Tiffany corpse that have been brought to our attention.

Speaker 1 And then you quietly rehire yourself.

Speaker 3 But what's so crazy is everyone thinks like I'm this marketing genius, which is highly entertaining. But I actually do real estate investments.

Speaker 3 That's like my primary source of income right now. Okay.

Speaker 1 Legit.

Speaker 3 I literally don't.

Speaker 3 I've done marketing my whole career,

Speaker 3 promotional and e-commerce, but primarily now just real estate.

Speaker 1 That's sick. Hank owns his own condo that overlooks Lake Michigan.
Nice. Yeah, it's pretty nice.
It's very sick. It's got like a panoramic view.

Speaker 1 I think it's on like one of the highest floors in the building. Yeah, it's so dope.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Thanks.

Speaker 1 How tall are you guys?

Speaker 1 6'1? Six feet. Yeah.
6'1? Yeah, 6'1. 6'1.
Thanks.

Speaker 3 Well, I told the whole world I was 5'2, 120 pounds. But I might be like 125, 28 right now.

Speaker 1 That's fine. We're not careful.
I've never lied about my weight. I've never lied about

Speaker 1 my height.

Speaker 1 We're just

Speaker 1 normal. How tall do you think I am?

Speaker 1 Careful. Careful.
Be very careful. Careful.
You could actually, this whole interview could turn on this.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 you nailed it. Yeah, okay.
That's fine. I was worried you were going to say 5'9 and short change.
How much do you think I weigh?

Speaker 3 This isn't fair.

Speaker 1 I won't get hurt.

Speaker 1 Hank's.

Speaker 1 Hank, I'm I'm going to stop saying nice shit about you. No, Hank's been funny.
But he is funny. Hank's so fucking funny.
I don't know. This is really funny.

Speaker 1 Like, we fuck with each other like that, Hank and I. Like, we're just boys, and he's just like, he's a guy's guy, but also a girl's guy.

Speaker 1 Pass.

Speaker 3 Pass.

Speaker 1 Okay. You can say any number.
Say any number. It won't hurt my feelings.
205. Oh, my God.
That was incredible.

Speaker 1 I'm so much fatter than that. Look at us.
That's great. 205 and 510.
I love it. I love it.
We're fucking

Speaker 1 just killing it. We're killing it right now.
Especially Hank, though. I wish we could be half as hard.
Hank is. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 What's the weirdest celebrity that's hollered at you? Weirdest or like the best?

Speaker 1 Both. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, Connor McGregor reached out. Okay, yeah, I saw he liked one of your tweets today.
No, he liked

Speaker 1 it to you.

Speaker 3 Like, he wasn't trying to get my pants or anything.

Speaker 1 No. He's just saying, what up?

Speaker 3 No, he wanted to know what I saw.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. I literally wanted to know what I saw.
Did you see that? But regardless,

Speaker 1 Connor McGregor follows me. Like, what the hell? That's pretty cool.
Yeah, that is very cool. It's kind of wild.
Have Have you got any weird DMs from people?

Speaker 1 Don't question.

Speaker 1 The weirdest? I think we know that. Yes.
Yeah, I'd say so.

Speaker 1 Has there been a guy named Jersey Jerry that hit you up about your feet? I don't. Okay.
All right. We just want to make sure.

Speaker 1 He works here, so I just wanted to say, I wanted to make sure that he's the one who's there's certain things like,

Speaker 3 I mean, I can't feel it at all, like, because it's kind of crazy. Yeah.
Yeah. And I actually have a full-time job, so I can't spend my whole time on social media.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, that's fine.

Speaker 3 Bitter myths here and there. And people are like, she posts like her page is all over the place.
It's the wildest shit.

Speaker 1 No, I'm just like a normal person. Yeah.
So, yeah.

Speaker 3 I do post like random ass shit. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You should just, you should sprinkle in some like real estate investment opportunities in between the pictures that you put out. Yeah.
Let everyone know you're hardworking. Like Hank.

Speaker 1 Hank works harder than anyone here. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I mean, I have a few rentals, have an office building.

Speaker 1 Love that. Yeah.
Hank works hard, but he also plays hard. Yeah, he's vacations hard as well.

Speaker 1 That's a good thing.

Speaker 1 This guy's soft.

Speaker 4 He's a standard word from wherever.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. Same with Hank.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Are y'all trying to hook me up with Hank? No, no. What? What are we doing? What are we doing? I don't know why they asked me to sit in this interview.
No. No, we just love Hank.

Speaker 1 Oh, I know why they asked. No, listen.

Speaker 1 Hank, so it's just a catch. Hank's going to be going with us to the game this weekend, so it's going to be Iowa Northwestern.

Speaker 1 Hank's a big Iowa fan, so I feel like we should all root for Iowa this weekend.

Speaker 3 I don't feel like he is an Iowa fan.

Speaker 1 Well, he's deciding his

Speaker 1 Big Ten team.

Speaker 1 Yeah, me and Tiffany are already kind of deciding. We are in Maryland.

Speaker 1 Oh, so you don't even need us here, Hank. We'll leave.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 But I do need some Iowa gear because I don't have any.

Speaker 1 Okay, yeah, we can get some. We can get some.
Hank's got a guy for that. Yeah, he's got a guy for Amazon.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Amazon. Jeff Bezos is his guy.

Speaker 1 Why did you decide to now start speaking out?

Speaker 3 You know, at the end of the day, like, it's not necessarily going away. I think it would probably be a good two years before it truly goes away.
And I will be a meme for the rest of my life. I get it.

Speaker 3 I get it. But at this point, it's funny.
Like it is funny. It's not funny what the passengers had to go through at all.
But it me and the outlandish shit I said was absolutely funny. Right.
And

Speaker 3 I mean,

Speaker 3 what are you going to do with it?

Speaker 1 Like, it's a great attitude.

Speaker 3 Like, lean into it. It is what it is.
I own it. Like, it's embarrassing.
My very worst moment caught on camera, but I mean, it is what it is.

Speaker 1 Honestly, like, like I said, we, our lives are on the internet. We live on the internet every single day.
Like, joking about it and being like, it's funny will make it go away faster than anything.

Speaker 3 Well, and like, humor is what's gotten me through this whole thing. Like, the first four weeks were,

Speaker 3 I mean, first eight weeks really were brutal. And, you know, like I said, there's not a playbook for it.
So it's like, how do you, how do you deal with it? How do you survive it?

Speaker 1 Like, that's a different ballgame. Media is.

Speaker 3 Media is mean.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 And they say, and they, they, they don't post, they don't post real facts.

Speaker 1 Well, the tabloid bullshit. Yeah, it seems like you've got a good support group around you.
You got friends. I have like the best of friends.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Like, why did my name not get released? Because my friends are loyal.

Speaker 1 That's that's actually like that reminds me of Hank. Yeah.
He's our fucking best friend. We were thinking about like after it happened.

Speaker 1 It was weird how long it took for your name to get out there. And I didn't put two and two together, but yeah, you obviously have like an ironclad.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 even to this day, like they won't speak on it.

Speaker 1 Love it.

Speaker 3 And all my friends, like, you know, there's everybody else like, what did you see? What'd you see? Not one of my friends asked that. Every single one of my friends was like,

Speaker 1 How are you? Yeah, that's awesome. And it's just, I have badass people in my corner.

Speaker 3 That's really cool.

Speaker 1 That does remind me of Hank. So when you

Speaker 1 flew up here, you obviously, you travel a lot, right? So you get around a lot. Do you have to now go like in disguise on a plane?

Speaker 1 Or have you ever fucked with people and you wear the old outfit and you step on it?

Speaker 3 No, so what was funny is everyone thought I wore the same exact outfit like when TMZ did their thing.

Speaker 3 No, I was not in the same exact outfit, actually. I had a brown tank top on.
My wardrobe is basically black and brown.

Speaker 1 Guys aren't good with details.

Speaker 3 No, no, but what they didn't see is I had some big old baggy cargo pants on. Yeah.
I didn't have some tight jeans, and I sure as hell went showing my midriff. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Guys are dumb. We think when we see a woman on camera one time, we think they're like a cartoon character.
They wear the same outfit every time we see them.

Speaker 1 It's like, wait, you're wearing a green outfit.

Speaker 3 I mean, yeah, but I had a 6 a.m. flight.

Speaker 1 So they were like, oh, her hair's pulled back.

Speaker 3 Well, yeah, it was wet. It was soaking wet.
Right.

Speaker 1 And they're like, but it's darker.

Speaker 3 Well, now it's wet. Right.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. Literally.
Again, guys don't really understand any of this. Did TMG just find you? Like, were you expecting them or were you just like, why the fuck are these people?

Speaker 3 I think they, like, they chill out at the airport. It's not, I mean, it's LAX.
Like, yeah. And that wasn't my first flight.
I'd been on multiple others before that.

Speaker 1 That's more mitigating circumstances. Yeah.
We've all been there trying to make connecting flights.

Speaker 3 No, I wasn't connecting there. That was a different trip.
Like, I had already been to Sedona, Belize, and then L.A.

Speaker 1 Okay. So, you can fly.
I can fly. You can fly.
How about this?

Speaker 1 How many flights have you taken successfully?

Speaker 3 Probably 16. In my whole life.

Speaker 1 In your whole life?

Speaker 3 Oh, my God. I can't even count.
At least, like, two a month for my whole adult years.

Speaker 1 Okay, so you want to say like 500 flights? At least, yes. And you've had one bad flight.
Yeah, why don't we talk about the 499? That's an incredible run that you've been on. Yeah.
You know?

Speaker 1 You should reframe it. Like, 99.98% of flights that you've been on have been completely successful.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 I mean, when you look at it like that.

Speaker 1 It's facts. It's not too bad.
It's facts.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, this has been awesome, Tiffany.
Appreciate you coming in. Thanks for watching.
You're going to watch some football with us tonight, right? I hope so.

Speaker 1 Do you want to guess our lottery ball machine? No one's gotten it yet. This is a new one.

Speaker 1 So backstory is I bought a lottery ball machine from China like three years ago. Does it work? At the end of every show, yeah.
At the end of every show, we all guess. We all got it.

Speaker 1 Hank got it like a shitload of times. We all got it a ton of times, but now we have a new machine.
No one has ever gotten this one. Now I'm nervous.
No one's even come close. No one's even come close.

Speaker 1 Do I just guess it all? Well, Hank's come close because he's really good at it. Hank basically.
How many?

Speaker 3 Do I just guess one number? One number.

Speaker 1 Hank pretty much knows it. This would be an all-time moment if you got it.

Speaker 3 No?

Speaker 1 Go ahead.

Speaker 3 24. Okay.

Speaker 1 Let's go.

Speaker 1 Man, we just.

Speaker 1 And don't be upset because this is kind of like the flights. There's many.
We've done this hundreds of times where we don't get it.

Speaker 1 Ah, 91.

Speaker 1 91.

Speaker 3 Oh, like, who would guess 91? Yeah, I know.

Speaker 1 That's a stupid game. That's a stupid machine.
Like, this should only be.

Speaker 1 It's not even that big of a part of the show. So let's just get rid of it.
Yeah, that's horrible. Don't use it every day.
All right. Well, Tiffany, thanks so much.
We are Tiffany Gomez fans now. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We have your back.

Speaker 1 Tag us in on any flights online that you get into. If anyone goes after you,

Speaker 3 I do see

Speaker 3 you get commented or tagged in like everything.

Speaker 1 Everything you post. So you respond there, I post.
Yeah. I'm so sorry.

Speaker 1 If you have a problem, if you have a problem, you come tell us. We all be my bodyguards.
We will absolutely

Speaker 1 crack some skulls. I'm not kidding.
We will do it. We're at bodyguards.
This is what we do. We do it for our friends.
All of our friends, you're now in the circle of trust. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Can you please tell people I'm not actually batshit? You're crazy.

Speaker 1 You're not crazy. You've hung out here all day.
You're not crazy.

Speaker 3 You're not. I'm actually functioning.
I'm a functioning human most of the time.

Speaker 1 What does Tiffany Gomez do for fun? Ooh, that's a good one.

Speaker 3 Concerts, sporting events.

Speaker 1 Oh, travel. Nice.

Speaker 1 Travel. At least you just listed Hank's favorite activities.
It's crazy. Me and Hank need to be friends.

Speaker 1 I think so.

Speaker 1 A lot in common. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Sounds like it. Thank you so much, Tiffany.
We really appreciate it. Thank y'all for having me.

Speaker 1 New Beyond Raw Lid V2.

Speaker 1 GNC's number one pre-workout.

Speaker 1 Now with harder-hitting energy, an intense mind-body connection, and enhanced endurance support.

Speaker 1 This isn't just a pre-workout, it's precision engineering for your body.

Speaker 1 Supercharge your workout with new Beyond Raw Lid V2. Available now at GNC and GNC.com.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's wrap up Firefest of the week. Uh, Henry?

Speaker 1 Yes, my first Firefest is we forgot to mention the new intro song at the beginning of of the podcast. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 You were supposed to remind me.

Speaker 1 We're at Firefest. I forgot.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 But if you're watching on YouTube, we have a new intro song, Absolute Banger. Josh Sticks, Back in the Mix.
Yes. That Ryan didn't even know it, poet.

Speaker 1 He did the theme song for BBT. Him and PFT collabbed, came up with a new song for the YouTube intro.
So watch the YouTube and listen. I honestly think it's stuck in your head.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's very, very catchy.

Speaker 1 Ja did a great job. We didn't know what to expect.
We just sent him the lyrics, and then he sent them back to us. And it was like, great job, Ja.
Knocked out of the park.

Speaker 1 My second Fire Fest is that, you know, this podcast, when it started, one of our big themes was kind of roasting Dude Perfect.

Speaker 1 And then a few years ago, we did a documentary review, and you guys kind of came around on them. And I stuck on the like, Dude Perfect are losers, they're lame train.

Speaker 1 And now we're Duke Perfect. I like to perform.

Speaker 1 I'm an office. Now we're dupe.

Speaker 1 Cody and Cody. Yeah, we were smart to switch.

Speaker 1 Everything got inspected and i've kind of been going around today like playing around being like i'm just gonna do trick shots all day like i'm you are dude perfect am going to be dude perfect and

Speaker 1 the key is spent the last 10 years shitting on them but now that i see it it's in front of me and i'm able to do it myself it's like yeah no here

Speaker 1 why not just do some trick shots trick shots are fun trick shots are cool here's the spin zone we're dude perfect but we fail all the time exclusively yeah we here's a promise we will always edit out the shots that we make.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 No. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So you now have to say that you were wrong.
I

Speaker 1 did I know I just firefest. That's not what you said.
I just came clean. You just, you said you

Speaker 1 clipped, and then I realized there's trick shots. You didn't say I, Henry Lockwood, was wrong.
I, Henry Lockwood, was wrong. That dude perfect.
No, clip that exactly how it was.

Speaker 1 I want that clip for social forever, and I will keep that. Thank you, memes.
Make sure I have that. Don't let in the part of the dude perfect.

Speaker 1 I already asked memes. I said I need to get a compilation of the compliments from the Tiffany interview just so I can have that.
No. With no contrast.
No, that never happened. That never happened.

Speaker 1 Complimentary? No, that never happened. I thought we did a pretty normal interview.
Yeah, yeah. I don't remember complimenting.
Did it work?

Speaker 1 No, I mean, we're chilling.

Speaker 1 Yeah. We're podcasting.
Yeah. Hank's like, no, I didn't leave you guys.

Speaker 1 No, it's midnight. We're podcasting.
Yeah, did I gas you up? No, dude, I'm sitting here eating pizza with you

Speaker 1 on a Thursday night. But midnight.
It's about the friends we made along the way. Yeah, that's a fact.
It was all bit. We don't mean any of it.

Speaker 1 But I will be, yeah, like I'm going to be doing dude perfect type shit and posting it. And people are going to be like, you're a fucking sell-out loser, dude.
Perfect. Not us, because PFT and I.

Speaker 1 And I'm going to be like, yeah, it is what it is. I'm a purple hoser guy up and down.

Speaker 1 It's fun, like, when you have, you know, you got a basketball court, you got like a beam. You're like, you want to, like, let me see if I can throw this ball off a wall and into the hoop.

Speaker 1 It is, yeah, dude. It's fun.
Yeah. You get millions and millions and billions of views.
No, dude, perfect. YouTube stresses me out.
I've been watching this show called Vlad and Nikki.

Speaker 1 Vlad TV? No. It's these two little kids and they just like do random shit and they get like,

Speaker 1 they're Russian. They live in Florida.
They watch. It's like bridges.
It's for like kids stuff. It's like kids watch it.
They're like playing kids games and stuff.

Speaker 1 Every single one of their videos is like 75 million views. It's crazy.
It's just insane. Whatever you can put on to have on repeat while your kids just watch.
We need to make kid programming.

Speaker 1 That's what we need to do. Kids YouTube is insane.
Have you seen?

Speaker 1 My niece and nephews watch Miss Rachel. Have you seen her? No, I don't want to watch her.

Speaker 1 Those are terrible.

Speaker 1 Like they're 200 million views everywhere. Yeah, we need to get

Speaker 1 that's the future. We got to get kids programmed because we have the space now.
Let's fucking make a kid's, like, let's make a kids YouTube and we'll just put on like, what? Why?

Speaker 1 You just got to have the bloopy voice.

Speaker 1 You can do a tour of the office and be like, in the bloopy voice, like, wow, look at this basketball. It's orange.
Yeah. Kids love that basketball.

Speaker 1 Wow, that's a great pass, big cat. And you, and all, all the hoops are 10 feet tall.
And they've been playing basketball since James Day Smith came around in a beach basket. Now, look at this.

Speaker 1 It's a small white ball. Not like a big orange basketball.
What do you think we do with this? Oh, well, you hit it with a stick. Whoa.
That's seriously it. That's it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's fucking billionaires now. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, we're going to be doing that stuff. Office reveal drops Monday.

Speaker 1 But yeah,

Speaker 1 I was wrong. We should definitely do kids' videos.
And in the middle of that, we'll be like, look at this, look at this brown ball. That's a football.
You throw it real far.

Speaker 1 Hey, kids, you ever hear about Dak Prescott? He can't win the big one. Hey, this is a brown ball.
You throw it real far.

Speaker 1 And then when you play it and you get hit on the head, you see little tweety birds, but you'll be fine. That's okay.
It's just cobwebs. Shake it off.
Get back into the game.

Speaker 1 Dude, we should do kids' programming. Yeah.
Hank, just figure it out. Make a little kids' set.
We'll We'll fucking do the stupid voices. We'll put on stupid hats and we'll go mega viral.

Speaker 1 Hey, kids, guess a number.

Speaker 1 Oh, you got it before Hank. Oh, 69.
Why does Billy always guess that?

Speaker 1 It's because when

Speaker 1 mommy and daddy love each other very much, they put their mouths on each other's privates.

Speaker 1 When mommy puts her,

Speaker 1 but daddy puts her D and mommy's M.

Speaker 1 And we're still waiting for that Taylor Swift video. You think we're ever going to see her, milkers?

Speaker 1 That's where milk comes from.

Speaker 1 We could do this, dude. We could easily do this.
Yeah, I'm sold. Okay, all right.
We're done. We're done.
I'll fucking, we can test it with my kids. Yeah, let's do it.
Yeah. Listen,

Speaker 1 I'll do anything. I'll do anything for millions of dollars for clicks.
And we just subtly put in part of my take stuff.

Speaker 1 And we just get all these young listeners.

Speaker 1 I'm in. All right.
The Chargers are frauds. They'll never win a big game.
When daddy gets mad, it's because he lost his 16-team parlay.

Speaker 1 oh yeah we should do betting series

Speaker 1 daddy really needed deontay johnson to score a touchdown what is over under me well you root for the points

Speaker 1 all right

Speaker 1 pft your fire fest uh my fire fest is we were playing basketball out on the court this was in between the miss gomeas interview and the the live stream we were playing some three on three out there and uh it was myself max memes who's sneaky good at basketball you never know it from how he runs sneaky good at everything except being nice to people.

Speaker 1 He is very bad at that. That one he sucks at.
He's great at being mean to people.

Speaker 1 And Shane was playing, Evan was playing, Pug. Yep, Pug.
Pug, Pug, Pug, Pug. Pug, our YouTube guy.
Evan was playing. There was a loose ball.
A scramble ensued for it.

Speaker 1 And Pug is built like a fire hydrant. He's Pug.
He's Pug. Yeah, he's Pug.
And I was going for it. He was going for it.

Speaker 1 He put his shoulder, as my hands were up in the air, he put his shoulder like right into my ribs, and I instantly heard and felt something pop when he did it.

Speaker 1 And now it hurts to breathe. It hurts to move.
It hurts to laugh. It hurts to do anything.
Hurts to sit. It hurts to stand up.
I have broken ribs before.

Speaker 1 I don't know if this is a broken rib or if it's like displaced cartilage, but he fucks something up inside my chest and it hurts real bad. And it's day one of playing basketball in our court.

Speaker 1 And of course, somebody injuries. Somebody has to get nicked up a little bit.

Speaker 1 And then I took a lot of time. Yeah, I mean, someone was going to get hurt first.

Speaker 1 I told Clinton Portis about it. He was like, I can rearrange your ribs.
And I was like, I don't think think that's that. Oh, that sounds

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 1 rearrange your guts. I was like, I don't think that's a thing that you can do.
He's like, no, seriously, just like lay down on the ground. So I laid down on my chest.

Speaker 1 And then he just put his arms on the upper back and just pushed down and just fucked me up. And I think he fucked me up worse.
Of course. The sound that you made, I was in the kitchen.

Speaker 1 It hurts so sad, like someone died. Yeah, because it like I'm in.
Like, I had to run in. I'm in actual pain.
It was like a run-in. What's that scream sound? Not like a.

Speaker 1 I'm in pain right now. And with Clinton Portis, who is a big dude pressing down, that he rearranged my ribs for sure.
Yeah. Not in a good way.
No.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, my Fire Fest is that I have a rib injury from Pug playing three-on-three basketball. Happens.

Speaker 1 Happens. Yep.
Okay, my Fire Fest is, so I'm a little bit of a creature of habit. Tuesday night, I went to sleep.
Not early, but whatever, regular time after match and everything.

Speaker 1 Wednesday, I woke up, and I have this one podcast that I love to listen to every Wednesday morning. It's called Pardon My Take.
And I went to my phone to see if it was up.

Speaker 1 It comes out on Wednesday morning. It comes out on Wednesdays.
Every Monday, Wednesday, Friday for seven plus years.

Speaker 1 And I went to look for it and it wasn't there. What happened? Nothing.
I actually did. Did you not do an episode? This is Ghost Big Cat.
I killed myself on spot. Oh.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no,

Speaker 1 it was so confusing. It cost us a listener.
These guys literally do the show every single Monday, Wednesday, Friday. They've been the most consistent part of my life.

Speaker 1 Every single morning, morning, they're in my phone.

Speaker 1 They're there for me.

Speaker 1 It's the trust relationship that's been built up years over years over years. I know they're working late just so that they can record a show and I can wake up and listen to it.
And then

Speaker 1 everything changed.

Speaker 1 It wasn't there. And my trust is completely gone.
And I don't know if I'll ever listen to it again. That's a really bad thing that happened to you.
Yeah. That's like Firefest of the century.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Why do you think they didn't get it up? I don't know. I have no idea.
Because my understanding is if you're publishing a podcast,

Speaker 1 you edit the show, and then the show's done, and then you have a button that you press to upload the show to the world. But what happens if you forget to press a button?

Speaker 1 Well, I guess the show wouldn't go up then. Yeah, so maybe someone's broken.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Maybe there's an emergency. I hope not.
Well, okay. You know what? So these guys that I listened to, called Pardon My Take, they do put in a lot of hours and they sometimes record really, really late.

Speaker 1 So it could have been a situation where the producers, it was like so late that the podcast didn't come out till later.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, they could have been just recording really late that night. I've heard of that podcast, part of my take.

Speaker 1 And one thing that's great about it, because like, you know, they've got like some funny guys that are like always around jumping in when their teams are good or bad sometimes,

Speaker 1 but they never forget what their job is, and that's to press the button. Are you sure we're talking about it? Can we just do it? Can we just

Speaker 1 get to this?

Speaker 1 This has been the longest intro in the history of fucking intros. Max, we'll wait, wait for your Firefest, bro.
Yeah. I'm doing mine, okay?

Speaker 1 So, yeah,

Speaker 1 they must have recorded late, but then I saw one of the guys, Pig Cat, said they recorded at 4 p.m.

Speaker 1 So that's like... How long does it take? Does it take that's like eight hours to press the button? Sometimes it can take 12 hours to press the button.
Yeah, so I still don't know what happened.

Speaker 1 I don't have an answer for it, and I'm never going to listen to them again.

Speaker 1 Probably listen to like Bill Simmons or Pat McFee, one of the things that takes us one day of not being there for the people.

Speaker 1 Then maybe they became Daddy Gang. Yeah.
Father Cooper got a couple new followers.

Speaker 1 All right. That's our show.

Speaker 1 Max?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was a good show.

Speaker 1 So, is it going to go out? What's your firefest, Max?

Speaker 1 I was the one who did not receive the publish button. You

Speaker 1 of your favorite podcast. Yeah, that was me.
Oh, how could you? You the guy that everyone loves? No.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 So what happened, Max? Well, to be fair to Max,

Speaker 1 when he was planning ahead, he probably thought the Phillies were going to be in the World Series that night. So he didn't have it scheduled to.
He's like, we'll probably clinch. We'll probably sweep.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We finished the show early.

Speaker 1 I finished doing my work early. For people who don't know, there's a whole process of putting in the back end.
You got to

Speaker 1 put in all the graphics. Don't make this sound.

Speaker 1 What's the process of sticking it in the back end? Well, you put it in the back end, and then you have to.

Speaker 1 Does the back end never ask? Is it in the end? And then you have to put in the timestamps, and then you have to go in, and then you have to input where the ads are.

Speaker 1 And I did. Then you got to reach.
After it's in the back end, you got to reach around and just press the button. No, I did.
You got to make sure you got to pull it out of the back end, too.

Speaker 1 I don't know what happened. Don't go into the front end after it's in the back end, though.

Speaker 1 Get infection. I just.

Speaker 1 i did every i did every step well no no no no no except the most important for the step that lets everybody listen to the show so you just what i normally do yeah i normally do it right late at night and i put it out and then i it takes a little like once you press publish it takes like probably 15 20 minutes before it actually gets out to the platforms.

Speaker 1 So normally what I do is I press publish and then i keep and then i keep looking and i keep keep refreshing keep refreshing

Speaker 1 and then

Speaker 1 i look on i look on apple i'm like all right it's up i'll do the tweet now from the main account being all right podcast is live finish a show early

Speaker 1 didn't didn't do the whole refresh thing because i wait no you never hit the button no yeah

Speaker 1 this is this is really sad yeah no that like that's i it's but you did i'm just tweeting it up up. But you did tweet, but you pushed it because I forgot the button.

Speaker 1 So I forgot to do the tweet, so it was one of those things where I went to bed. Wait, no, no, no, you forgot to press the button.
Well, I forgot to press the button.

Speaker 1 I thought I pressed the button, but I went to bed, and it was one of those things where it's like

Speaker 1 I was falling asleep, and I was like, oh, fuck, I forgot to do the tweet. Okay, so the tweet is not

Speaker 1 her tweet or the most important part. No, the most important.
I said I forgot to do the most important part, not the tweet. Like, not the.

Speaker 1 Wait, you woke up the button. You woke up and you're like, damn, I forgot to tweet it

Speaker 1 no i didn't wake up i was like in bed and then i thought to myself i was like oh fuck i forgot i forgot to tweet it but never was like but then i but then i didn't i didn't what i normally do is check to make sure it's up i it was so long i just i just didn't and i and i that was like the first time that i haven't checked to make sure it wasn't on apple and the first time that I've ever thought that I pressed publish and didn't press publish.

Speaker 1 So it was a double whammy of first times I've ever done that. And

Speaker 1 can you because you can walk me through the next morning? Can you walk me through like eight hours later? Yeah, how to feel. The next morning, super bad.

Speaker 1 How time did you wake up? Did you wake up to an alarm?

Speaker 1 I woke up to an alarm because I was 8:30. So that was already two hours after we had.
Because I woke up at 6:30 and saw that it wasn't up. Wrong.
You called me at, you called me at 6.58. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I woke up at 6.30, saw that it wasn't up. Okay.
Went and brushed my teeth. Was like, oh, maybe it's still loading or I'm missing it or something.
Then I realized, no, this is a problem. Yep.

Speaker 1 Called you. No pickup.
No pickup. Called memes.

Speaker 1 Memes is the king. What would we have done?

Speaker 1 It would have just gone up an hour later.

Speaker 1 It was, yeah. That's why it's player of the week.
Memes is player of the week. I saw the call.
I was like, oh, fuck.

Speaker 1 But it had to have felt like a little bit good that it was my fuck up and not yours.

Speaker 1 It was just. Yeah, memes is shocked.
He's like, What do you mean it's not on? And then he looked at me and goes, Oh, yeah, you didn't press the button.

Speaker 1 Like, memes went on, saw, saw in the back end that everything else that needed to be done was done. I just

Speaker 1 the button. Should we get the button?

Speaker 1 Should we get access to the button in case this happens again? You have access to the button. I can hit the button.
I can hit the button. Yeah, I think you have access.
No chance, yeah.

Speaker 1 You could give me an hour, and

Speaker 1 I would never be able to figure out where the button is. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 But I could hypothetically, you could. I could figure out how to get the button.
We need to put you guys on. Should there be a button? You wouldn't be able to put the button? In theory.

Speaker 1 No, I'm the last minute. This will never happen again.

Speaker 1 Oh, the chances. This will never happen again.
This will never happen again. Wait, but you were about to say the chances of it happening again.
The chances that it happened once was

Speaker 1 fucking high.

Speaker 1 Not high. Well, yeah, it happened.
But

Speaker 1 that doesn't mean that going into it, that the chances were high. I mean, it was better than 1%.

Speaker 1 How many of these, how many, how long have you been... How many episodes?

Speaker 1 70? No, less than 1%.

Speaker 1 Well, you've done 70 episodes.

Speaker 1 52 weeks in a year. At least over a year, three episodes a week.
Yeah. Less than 1%.
So how many have you done? He's probably done. It's been here for a year.
He's probably done 210 times a year.

Speaker 1 So half

Speaker 1 of 52. I'm doing my math wrong.
Half percent. It's more than zero.
No, I didn't say zero. I said it was low.
low percentage.

Speaker 1 All right, so what are we going to do to make sure this never happens again?

Speaker 1 Like I have a system so that this shouldn't happen. Like, I have the system.
The system broke. No, the system is broken.
The system broke, but the system will not break again.

Speaker 1 And what happens if it does? That's what they said in Chernobyl.

Speaker 1 My system is that I check before I do the. I don't know why.
I will never tweet the tweet without seeing it's up on Apple.

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 1 the system works.

Speaker 1 No, that is how the system works. You need a process.
But that is the process and the system.

Speaker 1 I broke my system.

Speaker 1 But that is my system. Yeah.
And that.

Speaker 1 So the system is not going to fail, but you might have failed your system. I think I found a flaw in the system.

Speaker 1 Like, it's crazy that all the, like, I have never posted, done the tweet without making sure it's up on Apple. And I've never

Speaker 1 not posted the show thinking that I posted it.

Speaker 1 I've never murdered a person. It was this one time.
Yeah. Like, am I a murderer? On 99.9% of the nights O.J.
Simpson went to sleep. He did not commit a crime.

Speaker 1 You don't know that. That's not true.

Speaker 1 He went to jail for something else. Yeah, 99.9%.
He's been on Earth 2020. He went to jail for stealing his whole memorabilia.
Yeah, that's not realistic.

Speaker 1 Did he go to jail for it? He's emancipating his Heisenberg. Did he go to jail for it? Crime.
Yeah, but that's a whole other thing. That's still 99.9%.
That's a whole nother penalty.

Speaker 1 All right, it's been longer justice. I have a factor fiction for Max.
Factor fiction, Max. When you had a soul patch,

Speaker 1 you actually were 1,000%.

Speaker 1 You did not miss hitting the button ever. That's a fact.

Speaker 1 Because I think I found the flaw in the system.

Speaker 1 He literally would maybe quit

Speaker 1 before he gets a soul patch.

Speaker 1 You never miss publishing the podcast. We know

Speaker 1 nothing like that. All right,

Speaker 1 here's a fair deal. Ready?

Speaker 1 Max, if this ever happens again,

Speaker 1 you have to have a soul patch for two straight years.

Speaker 1 That is a great

Speaker 1 carrot right in front of you.

Speaker 1 And you can't quit.

Speaker 1 You can't quit.

Speaker 1 You can't quit.

Speaker 1 If you forget to hit the button ever again, it's Soul Patch for two straight years.

Speaker 7 Question. Yes.

Speaker 1 Sometimes there's problems with the back end. I'm talking about that.
This is

Speaker 1 button specific. If there's questions with the back end, you'd be like, hey guys, there's quite publishing.
Yeah, you'll let us know. Yeah, you'd let us know.

Speaker 1 Like, hey, it's not, there's the publisher.

Speaker 1 We know what normal, like, sometimes, oh, like, Amazon amazon music or google play doesn't have it we get that this was just very clearly the button wasn't pushed if you don't push the button it's soul patch for two years and you can't quit

Speaker 1 i don't this isn't really a negotiation

Speaker 1 deal we could also give him a deal which is a soul patch until a philadelphia team wins a four major sport

Speaker 1 So you could, it could be way shorter than two years. No, because I want to give him, I want to, I want to make sure I don't really want to punish Max.
Max does a great job. I don't, like,

Speaker 1 I don't want to punish Max severely right now. I want to put in an extra system on top of his system that incentivizes him to never break his original system.
We're talking about Max 2.0.

Speaker 1 The Max 2.0, if we hit that point, Max 1.0 will cease to exist. So Max 1.0 has to make sure that Max 1.0 stays alive by hitting the goddamn button.
Deal. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think that's fair. Like, there's no way Max will not hit the button if he has to have a soul patch for two years

Speaker 1 and he can't quit. That is a very big part of the stipulation because I think actually with a soul patch for two years, you might try to quit.
I wouldn't let you.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't let you.

Speaker 1 You have to shave it like every day. He also could quit.
You have to keep it clean shaven every day. He could quit, though.
No, he can't quit. He legally can't quit.
What happens if he quit?

Speaker 1 I just said he can't quit.

Speaker 1 What happens if he's not? We'll offer him so much money that he'd be an insane person to quit. Would it be worth like, Max, if we if we paid you like

Speaker 1 $500,000 a year, but you have to have a soul patch, would you do it?

Speaker 1 Oh, maybe we can just get the soul patch for just some cash? I don't know. That's what it sounds like to me.
Max, I think this is fair. Yeah, no, this is fair.

Speaker 1 When I tell you, when you text me, you were very,

Speaker 1 it won't happen. I said,

Speaker 1 I understand.

Speaker 1 And like, obviously, this part of it is like, it happened. Part of the reason why

Speaker 1 it's okay is, or it's not okay, but us giving you shit means that you're not actually in trouble if it happened and I said to you right away on on Wednesday morning I was like it's okay if it ever happens again it's a problem yeah no because I think that is fair like one mistake everyone gets a mistake if it ever happens again then we have soul patch city yes and now I'm rooting for it to never get pushed

Speaker 1 I would be willing to trade one episode worth of downloads for matchless soul patch for two years I am now like this is it'll be the happiest day of my life if I wake up and they're like, where's the podcast?

Speaker 1 It is this exact situation. It is this exact situation.
It's not pushing the button.

Speaker 1 Not pushing the publish button. Correct.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And now I also would like to see.

Speaker 1 You can't wake up with no, like,

Speaker 1 the podcast isn't there and you haven't alerted us as to why. Right, right.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I also do want to do one of Big Tone's ideas. I think next week,

Speaker 1 I don't know what the schedule is, but I would like a Celtics minute from you. Okay, that's fine.
On every episode next week. I like that.
Talking about

Speaker 1 good. Yeah, next week.
But you have to talk about how good they are. Yeah, you have to talk about that.
Celtics haven't lost.

Speaker 1 Trust me,

Speaker 1 I could get into Celtics mode.

Speaker 1 Max is very funny when he goes. You've seen Celtics mode.
I actually love that character of yours. All right.
I think it's fair. Yeah.
You're not in trouble, but big trouble's on the horizon.

Speaker 1 No, yeah, that would...

Speaker 1 That, yes, yes. I mean, it'll never happen again, so it's not a problem.
But if it did. But if it did, that would ruin my life.

Speaker 1 My girlfriend would probably break up with me, my family wouldn't want, wouldn't want, I wouldn't get invited to any weddings, I wouldn't be on any wedding pictures.

Speaker 1 It would, that would ruin. I mean, that would legitimately be like, I would go into it.

Speaker 1 I would think I would legitimately go into like a depression. Like, I would, no pictures would be taken of you ever.
It'd make us laugh.

Speaker 1 The one thing that it might do would it would probably force me into sick shape. Yeah, yeah.
Like, I would probably not. No, no, no.
It would.

Speaker 1 If I, it, it would. Because that, the soul soul pouch isn't the biggest...
It is.

Speaker 1 It's your max. It may as well be a clean-shaven face.

Speaker 1 It's the... Yeah.
All right, so hopefully we never get to that point. And I'm sorry to all the listeners that Max didn't push the button.
You want to say sorry to my friend Brian, Max?

Speaker 1 I'm sorry, Brian. You ruined his honeymoon.

Speaker 1 I woke up. Like, I have.

Speaker 1 I just started calling memes and just, like, talking. I called him twice, and I was just like,

Speaker 1 I just need you to talk to me. What? Did you think that the hammer was going to to come down harder? Well, it wasn't even that.
Like, even when I got your response, I knew that

Speaker 1 it was more so, like, I just, I don't like fucking up. Yeah, no, I know.
That's why, that's why I did not.

Speaker 1 If you were a guy who like fucks up all the time and fuck-ups were part of your like M.O., I would treat it very differently. You're not.
You actually are very, very, I trust you so much. And

Speaker 1 now we just have a soul patch just looming over our heads at all time. Just got to press a button.
He called me. I was at the gym.

Speaker 1 Oh, sick brush.

Speaker 1 I think we just sat on silence. The first thing memes is setting all week.
I was at the gym. And we just sat in silence for like two minutes.

Speaker 1 Memes. Yes.

Speaker 1 I want to see you real quick. Stand up.

Speaker 1 Okay. If the button doesn't get pressed,

Speaker 1 you have to shave your head for a year.

Speaker 1 Okay? I like it. So now you guys are in it together.
All right. You're in it together.
Memes, was there like a small part of you that was like, yeah, Max fucked up? Nope. Because I think

Speaker 1 I was dealing with the problem at some memes. No, but you were saving the day.
Some people were saying...

Speaker 1 Some people were saying memes might have drugged Max because the YouTube views probably went crazy because the YouTube was up. Sabotage the button.

Speaker 5 It was up, but like my neighbors know all your names now. I was motherfucking everybody.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I deserve that. Shout out memes.
Yeah, shout out memes. Player of the week.
Player of the week. Player of the week.
And shout out me for being up. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Shout out you. Shout out you.
For being up. For being up.
But yeah. Okay.
I think this is a fair way to deal with it. No, no,

Speaker 1 immediate punishment. I'm sorry that everyone gets one fuck up.

Speaker 1 I'm not a well, no,

Speaker 1 this is the protocol is better this way when you have a buddy system. Memes will not let this happen either.

Speaker 4 Shave? Shave's head for two years.

Speaker 1 Some job security.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah, sorry.
Meme. No, memes.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no. You're all in negotiations.
No, no, memes. No, no.

Speaker 1 If the button doesn't get pushed, you lose your job. Oh.

Speaker 1 No, no. I'm fucking with you.
All right.

Speaker 1 No, but I do like that. I don't want 10-year no shit.
He has to have no hair for.

Speaker 1 I want him in this with me. Okay.
So two years, no hair for memes

Speaker 1 and soul patch for Max. The button will get pushed.
We let everyone know the button will always get pushed from here on out. Are you a little nervous for tonight? No, tonight, I mean...

Speaker 1 You're going to jam that button. I mean,

Speaker 1 that's i'd be a little nervous forever is a long time whatever what if someone knocks you out with a frying pan

Speaker 1 like like yeah yeah what if there's a like wily coyote comes and just knocks you out with a frying what if there's like a what if i get into like a car accident or something well we can talk about that you should actually maybe get like a button in your in like a life alert i'm thinking that's the podcast button so if you like are about to die you can still publish the podcast or if i woke up and realized that it wasn't published just go get into a car accident.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 What if in the middle of the night you sleepwalk into the other room and you accidentally unpress the button? Unpush the button. Oh, no.

Speaker 1 That could have happened. That could have happened.
You can unpush it? No,

Speaker 1 you can unpush it.

Speaker 1 There's a second button?

Speaker 1 No, you can publish it and then you can move it to drafts.

Speaker 1 It was saved to drafts. So I woke up.
So, Hank, could I move it to drafts?

Speaker 1 I'm going to just take a picture of every time I'm going to push it. Yeah, Yeah, so that activity is tracked.

Speaker 1 I would not fuck with it. I want the podcast out.
This is all just...

Speaker 1 We have a system. The podcast will be out.

Speaker 1 I think that might be my new system. I think I'm going to take a video of myself pressing the button every time.

Speaker 1 Just for the best.

Speaker 1 No, just for the case. Just so you have the data.
Just so I have the data in case.

Speaker 1 I like that. I like that.
All right.

Speaker 1 Five years of soul packs.

Speaker 1 Either way, we love you, Max. It's one fuck up.
Don't beat yourself up.

Speaker 1 And you knew that we were going going to bust your balls. Yeah, no.
That means that it's not any real fuck up. We would not have busted your balls.
We would have been like, you're in actual trouble.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Busting balls is a fast way back.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Numbers.

Speaker 1 Great show, boys. Eight.

Speaker 1 20. 17.

Speaker 1 That's a good number. 31.
3.

Speaker 1 31 for. Hank.
Hank, have you ever gotten this? Evan 22, Shane 10. Have you almost come close to got it?

Speaker 1 What's your number, Hank?

Speaker 1 31.

Speaker 1 What's yours? I took eight.

Speaker 1 Memes, you're three. Max is 20.

Speaker 5 Shane, 10. Evan, 22.

Speaker 1 77. He thought it was 17 for a second.

Speaker 1 77.

Speaker 1 Love you guys. All right, see you on Monday.
I love that this lottery ball machine is now like dominating Hank, even though none of us

Speaker 1 have gotten so quickly. But Hank was so mad at the lottery machine that time.

Speaker 1 Shine away.

Speaker 1 I've been coming for your love of grave.

Speaker 1 Stop me, rest the same.

Speaker 1 I won't say

Speaker 1 some little way.

Speaker 1 Smelling burning butt, it's okay. Say after me,

Speaker 1 it's a letter to be safe to sell it. Say after me,

Speaker 1 it's a better chip, say it's a selfish. Things that you say, every little I thought, just play that memories away.

Speaker 1 You all think I've got to remember. Shiny away,

Speaker 1 I'll come for you anyway.

Speaker 1 Shiny away,

Speaker 1 I'll come for you anyway.

Speaker 1 on me,

Speaker 1 take on me,

Speaker 1 take them

Speaker 1 on,

Speaker 1 drink on me,

Speaker 1 take on me,

Speaker 1 take on me.