Comedian Sam Morril, NFL Week 5 Picks And Preview, The Bears Finally Win A Game, Marlins Man Calls In Plus Jimbo's

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have comedian Sam Murrell on the show in studio. Very funny interview.
Great, great comedian. You should go see him on tour.

Speaker 1 He changed his whole flight to come in to hang out with us. So, AWL and recurring guest, we have Thursday Night Football, Bears Commanders.
We got a lot to talk about there. Tattoo Bet,

Speaker 1 Week five, picks and

Speaker 1 picks and preview.

Speaker 1 And I'll just say this right now: I'm putting on a must-listen for a call we had with Marlins, man. It is a must-listen.
Probably

Speaker 1 when we were doing the stream earlier tonight, the guys around us asked for the third most shocking thing that he said, and we told them, and they're like, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 There's two more shocking things.

Speaker 1 What was the third most shocking thing?

Speaker 1 When

Speaker 1 I think it was. It's a teaser.
It's a teaser. Yeah, it's a teaser.
It's a teaser. I think it was when he said that

Speaker 1 everyone thought we hate women.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, the whole country thought we hate women.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 and then we have Fire Fest to end the whole thing. Before we get to all of that,

Speaker 4 when cool, creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the whole is greater than the sum of its sauce. Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch sauce, only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 1 They're participating, McDonald's. Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 No place to hang out or washing.

Speaker 1 And then a camp game all on the sound.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, we're gonna ride down to Electric Avenue.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it

Speaker 1 It's part of my take.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take. Today is Friday, October 6th, and the three best words in sports.

Speaker 1 Four best words. The Bears are back.

Speaker 1 The Bears are back. The Bears have won.

Speaker 1 Ron Rivera just kicked another field goal. The Bears have won.
He loves field goals. That guy loves field goals.
So we should never, ever call him Riverboat Ron again.

Speaker 1 After this game and the game against the Eagles, he's lost Riverboat Ron. He's no longer Riverboat Ron.
So, PFT, you were at the game. I'd love to get your thoughts on what the vibe was like.

Speaker 1 First of all, R.I.P. Dick Bucus, all-time football guy.
He passed away this afternoon.

Speaker 1 The Bears, I don't know if the strategy of having Bears Legends die and then getting that to galvanize the team is a sustainable strategy, but it felt like it worked tonight. And R.I.P.

Speaker 1 Dick Buck is seriously like a legend of legends when it comes to the football world.

Speaker 1 But the Chicago Bears lost 14 straight games. They headed into Thursday night football and they shit pumped the commanders.
I don't like the smile on your face.

Speaker 1 I don't like the way that this entire intro is going. I don't like the way the entire intro is going.
Ba, ba, buh, the bears. Oh, the bears are back.
Yes. You buried them.
You buried the bears. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Four in a row. They're done.
They're done. They're done.
Oh, the Bears are back. The Bears are back.
It was a bad first half.

Speaker 1 There's no game planning against, like you said, like Dick Bucus passing away. And as much as that was like an emotional factor, I'm sure, for some of the Bears, it probably affected Ron Rivera, too.

Speaker 1 I'm sure Ron Rivera was super close with Dick Buckis. He played on the Bears.
He's been very close in Chicago. Like he is a Chicago guy in terms of his football career, at least his playing career.

Speaker 1 So I'm sure he was sad going into the game. But yeah, the first half was bad.
It was as bad.

Speaker 1 That was chicken shit football all across the board for the commanders, and there was no getting out of that hole.

Speaker 1 Plus, it's helpful that you have DJ Moore, maybe get him the ball more often because he is unstoppable. Oh, worry about your own.

Speaker 1 Worry about your own. He was so good.
I am. He was so good.
Emmanuel Forbes, our rookie first-round pick, who has played. He played pretty well until A.J.
Brown snatched his soul.

Speaker 1 But Emmanuel Forbes got benched. And then the people that we put in for Forbes couldn't guard him either.
So it was a bad night. After the first half, we had a little comeback in the second half.

Speaker 1 We We were feeling good. I changed my jersey.
The vibes changed in the stadium. It looked like we were coming back.
And then all the momentum got sucked right out of the stadium with that field goal.

Speaker 1 With Joey Sly. So, all right.
So I'm not allowed to change my opinion. So let me ask you this, PFT.
Still thinking Soupy?

Speaker 1 No, I'm. Oh, I'm thinking Justin Fields is a good quarterback.
I was right about that. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I was right. Credit to me.
Happy for you for not wavering on that take. Yeah, very wavering.
Yeah, I mean, Justin Fields was phenomenal. He's been phenomenal.

Speaker 1 600 yards, eight touchdowns, and one interception in the last two games. I think I'm back in love.
And I know that, like, listen, he was bad to start the season. The Packers game was bad.

Speaker 1 The Bucs game was bad. The Chiefs game was bad.
The last two games have been great. And I got to give credit to Luke Goetze, the offensive coordinator.
He actually called a great game plan.

Speaker 1 You know what actually works when you have Justin Fields? Having designed runs.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you noticed this, PFD, but like, I think it was probably six or seven drives started with a Justin Fields run. Just to be like, hey, we have this weapon.

Speaker 1 You now have to defend us differently. Not all of them worked, but just doing that changed how the Bears looked and how they were able to attack the Commanders' defense,

Speaker 1 which

Speaker 1 the defense of the Commanders,

Speaker 1 the defensive line is just as good as the Eagles.

Speaker 1 They had some good moments tonight. It wasn't about the defensive line.
This game was about

Speaker 1 DJ Moore. Until we actually beat you with a fullback at the end.
Yeah, I know. that was twisting the knife.
DJ Moore

Speaker 1 probably should have had 280 yards, but they said he was out of bounds. We didn't get a replay in the stadium, so I still haven't seen that play.
Was he out of bounds? PFT. He looked mad.

Speaker 1 They didn't show a replay on TV, so he was not out of bounds. There's no way he was out of bounds.
If they don't show a single replay, they showed a replay, but it was the far angle.

Speaker 1 They never showed a replay of his feet being out of bounds. Yeah, he would have.

Speaker 1 I think we should do the math on it, but I think he would have had like 270 yards, 280 yards receiving if if they didn't call him out of bounds on that one he was what four four touchdowns how many do you have two or three three touchdowns three so he would have had four and like 280 yards so he was he was electric he was and you're right about justin fields so the thing i noticed about justin fields when you're up close watching him in person and not like watching the tv angles after the design runs even the ones that don't work he is so confident after them he loves them he loves doing it and then when they ask him to pass the ball after he's feeling good about himself he's a way better passer because he's confident he's not overthinking things so it changes his entire mindset.

Speaker 1 This is what we're saying. Like, Justin Fields should run the ball more frequently.
It sucks that he, you know, he's going to get hit. Yeah, but that's the nature of football.
But he's a big dude.

Speaker 1 He can dole out some punishment. He was running into people and he's bouncing right up.

Speaker 1 And it makes the whole run game work because obviously we lost all of our running backs tonight, but Khalil Herbert, when he was running, was phenomenal. He was ripping off big runs left and right.

Speaker 1 All right, I'm going to come back down to reality. I had to do that because I was very excited.
It's good. Listen, I'll come back down to reality.
I don't think the Bears are all the way back.

Speaker 1 They're still one and four. They're still a bad team.
But it's just nice to win one.

Speaker 1 14 games started to weigh on me a little bit, like where it was like, this feels like Iber Fluce is about to get fired, all this stuff. It's nice to win one.
Justin Fields deserves a win.

Speaker 1 He's been playing his ass off the last two games. It's nice to win one.

Speaker 1 I did look at the schedule coming up, and I've convinced myself they could potentially go 4-1 in the next five, but I'm going to save that for another day because I know there's still some big problems.

Speaker 1 I also know Justin Fields is not,

Speaker 1 I'm falling back in love. Like, it was, it was basically like we had like a two-week breakup where I was like, you know what, let's get different places.

Speaker 1 And I started to sign a lease, and I was like, ah, fuck, I really miss this guy. So I think I'm all the way back in love.
But I know it's one game. I know it's one game.
It was one game.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to get so crazy. It was one game, but it was a fun game.
It was good to win one. And the Bears almost tried to blow it because the offense was not that great in the second half.

Speaker 1 And if Joey Sly makes a field goal, I actually think this PFT, you could tell me if I'm wrong, you could tell me on Vibes in the Stadium.

Speaker 1 I think if Joey Sly makes that field goal to make it 30-23, the Bears probably lose that game because all the pressure goes back on them. Vibes in the Stadium, that's exactly what I was saying.

Speaker 1 Like, if that, what is it, like a 46-yarder? Yep. And from where Memes and I were sitting, we were on the sidelines and everybody in our section thought it was good.
And so we started to celebrate.

Speaker 1 And then we're like, oh, shit. No, he's waving his arms the wrong way.
That's the wrong way to wave the arms.

Speaker 1 And so we just looked around.

Speaker 1 Everybody was like, that went in, right? We collectively had

Speaker 1 collective delusion for about 15 seconds where we're like, that was the wrong call. That field goal went in.
So we couldn't tell. That was a bummer.

Speaker 1 But yeah, the way that we were moving the ball and Sam Howell, I heard some people calling him Sammy Soso.

Speaker 1 That's mean. Don't call him Sammy Soso.

Speaker 1 That is mean. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, dude. He had some runs that were insane.
They were like, what is Howard? How is he doing this? And how is he getting getting just like tossed to the ground and just getting back up?

Speaker 1 He's a tough motherfucker. And he had some dimes, too.
I actually, like, I was surprised by the commanders. It did feel like the commanders came out in the first half.
They're like, the Bears suck.

Speaker 1 We'll win this game. No problem.
Because it made no sense. Like, the Bears have no secondary right now.
Their defensive line actually showed up for the first time all year, which was nice.

Speaker 1 It felt like the defense was playing with a purpose, which I haven't seen for four weeks, like guys flying around.

Speaker 1 But I don't know why the commanders weren't just trying to to take deep shots all night they did miss a couple in the first half but once once sam howell was throwing it deep like we were getting gashed yeah bnb doesn't like to call the deep shots unless it's like right around midfield if we get a first down uh on first down we're going deep yeah that's that's kind of his style and then everything else is intermediate or screens things like that but yeah i agree i think we we should have gone deep way earlier more for like throw the ball up there for terry see what terry can do and draw pass interference if he doesn't catch it um but i want to just go back.

Speaker 1 The real story tonight, you know, we don't really care about this football game. Tonight was bigger than sports.

Speaker 1 It was Dick Bucus. So we should, first and foremost, think about that.

Speaker 1 Like when you think of football, Dick Bucus is one of the first names you think of just because you just think of the old footage of him just looking three times the size of everyone else, just like clotheslining people, just fucking smashing people.

Speaker 1 He was football. He was football.
So I was talking with a bunch of staff from the commanders here after the game. They were great.

Speaker 1 I got to meet Josh Harris, shook his hand. Great handshake.

Speaker 1 Fantastic handshake, by the way. Cool guy jacket.
He was wearing a cool guy jacket. He was, I also noticed, not wearing anything that said the word commanders on it again.

Speaker 1 Good thing you just got $7,000 worth of commanders gear. Yeah, it is.
Well, I gave like 20,000 of it away.

Speaker 1 Met the people at part of my cheesesteak tonight. The medium sold out in record time.
I gave away, me and memes tossed out probably like 30 medium pullovers, fleeces, button-ups in about two minutes.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 300 left. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
But it was, it was cool. So the commanders were, they were great hosts tonight.
I was talking to some of the people from the staff after the game.

Speaker 1 They were asking me what my tattoo is going to be. And

Speaker 1 we were just tossing around ideas and the idea of just getting lips on my ass, on my ass cheek for butt kiss. Ooh.
Nice.

Speaker 1 That one sounds like it could work. I'm also thinking maybe just take it back old school, barbed wire tattoo, a tribal tattoo.
a collector.

Speaker 1 If only there was a tattoo you've talked about getting since the beginning of this show. Plaid sleeves.
A plaid half sleeve, yeah. I'm also thinking about the plaid half sleeve still.

Speaker 1 PFT, I'm going to say this right now.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's one of the best ideas you've ever had. You always talk about it.
Yeah, you do talk about that. I've got a lot of great ideas.

Speaker 1 PFT, I spent all day planning out what my tattoo is going to be that I might just get one with you.

Speaker 1 I might just be a good soldier and get one with you because I literally was just like looking at images all day being like, what is my tattoo going to be?

Speaker 1 Because I just, I didn't think the Bears were going to be able to, I thought they were a dead team. And

Speaker 1 someone behind you looking in. Oh, hey.
Hello. Oh, hey.
Oh, should he be here? She's saying,

Speaker 1 is this guy?

Speaker 1 We got some AWLs coming. Yeah, and get her on the pod.
Get her on the pod.

Speaker 1 Get her on the pod.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
What are your thoughts on the game tonight?

Speaker 1 Well, I'm shocked that you're here. How did you guys get in here? Oh, nice.
How did you get in there?

Speaker 1 That's all I need to know. Okay.
Yeah. Okay.
Personal friends of Josh Harris, no big deal.

Speaker 1 All right, wait. So

Speaker 1 before we talk technology. Shut the fuck up, Hank.
I just want to do one last thing. There are some people doing that around the stadium.
I don't think you've been to the time since were other people.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, they were. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, beer.

Speaker 1 I think it's just so weird that in a stadium, everybody pretends that something that's sticking straight up in the air is super cool, Hank. Yeah, very, very original.

Speaker 1 Got you there. I mean, I think that's what you should get for the tattoo.
All right, wait, So, before we do the tattoo PFT, I just like last thing, like, where, because I want to, I was a little,

Speaker 1 I'm a little, I, I, oh, you should get soup. You should get soup.
The win had me a little delusional there for a minute. I've come back down to earth.
I'm just grumpy. Okay, you're grumpy.

Speaker 1 I'm happy slash.

Speaker 1 I know that the Bears, I still need Justin Fields to put together a lot of these,

Speaker 1 but I'm very excited that he's back in my life. I feel

Speaker 1 good. I understand completely.
Like, Justin Fields is fun to watch when he's doing that stuff. I get it.
I get it entirely. I'm just, I'm upset because I thought this was a win.

Speaker 1 I haven't been back here in like 13 years, and then I was all pumped up for this game. Been thinking about it for a year, ever since the last Thursday night game.
Who could forget?

Speaker 1 And yeah, now I'm just bummed out, and I'm going to have to get a tattoo. Who do you guys have next week?

Speaker 1 I have not even brought myself to look at it. Falcons, Falcons and Giants.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but this is going to be a win that we'll look back on and wish that we had at the end of the year.

Speaker 1 We're going to be like, remember the Thursday night game against the Bears when they hadn't won a game in a calendar year and we lost because we came out and didn't do shit in the first half?

Speaker 1 I'm going to think about that one for sure. But also, you can't really do that with games where you get to lose by 20.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's true, but it's the Buckus game. Like we came out, there was no energy at all in the team in the first half.
It was just a bummer. That whole first half was a bummer.
And then I booed.

Speaker 1 I booed it halftime. Sorry, Evan Neil.
I pay these guys salary

Speaker 1 kind of. Well, they pay by salary too, because we do a sports podcast.
So I found myself in a real pickle here.

Speaker 1 But I did, I booed Ron Rivera's clock management at the end of the first half, which was bizarre. Yes.

Speaker 1 Where if he doesn't use his timeouts until the last drive that we start on our own 25-yard line and we've got like, I don't know, 20 seconds left.

Speaker 1 And then he calls a bizarre series of plays that culminates in like a pass across the middle. that gets us to like the 50 yard line and gets us tackle there.
It made absolutely no sense.

Speaker 1 So I actually don't think that Ron Rivera understands how time works. That's the only explanation I come up with.
And going for the field goal when you had like fourth and three or whatever it was.

Speaker 1 No, that's the field goal that I'm upset about. The Joey Sly one, I can live and die with.
Like you miss a 46-yarder, that shit happens. But the field goal on fourth and three,

Speaker 1 that made no sense whatsoever. I want somebody to look up the stats and the probability.

Speaker 1 What percentage win probability did that gain us kicking a field goal there as opposed to if we had missed it?

Speaker 1 Because I would imagine missing a field goal is probably only like 3% less than making that field goal. Yeah, you're down 13.
Why would you kick a field goal? Makes no sense.

Speaker 1 No, it was just.

Speaker 1 No, we weren't. We were down.
Oh, you were down. I think we were down 16 at the time.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right.

Speaker 1 Because you, yeah, yeah, you were down 16, and then you got the touchdown without the two-point version. Either way, I'll say this.

Speaker 1 It was fun for the Bears to win. I don't like playing you, PFT, because I love you.
And, you know,

Speaker 1 it's not fun doing bad blood between us. Yeah, I mean, I'm not upset.

Speaker 1 I'm not actually mad that you're happy. I'm happy that you're happy.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 I'm happy that you're happy, and I'm sad that I'm sad. Here's what I'll say: I wish the Bears' first win in almost a calendar year had come against any other team.
Well, what a good friend I am.

Speaker 1 Your last two wins against you and the Patriots and the Commanders. Do we play the Eagles?

Speaker 1 Fuck. Best in the office.
Beat that ass.

Speaker 1 I know you play the Dolphins. I think the Dolphins play everybody on part of my take this year.
No, we don't play the Dolphins. Yeah,

Speaker 1 it's sick and twisted that I went through the Bears' next five games. Vikings, Raiders, Chargers, Saints, Panthers.
And I was like, that could be four and one.

Speaker 1 That's fucked up because I know that's not. But I'm going to just have one night where I'm like, could the Bears be five and five in mid-November? Oh, we got someone else.

Speaker 1 All right, so PFT, what are you going to do for the tattoo for real?

Speaker 1 So the ideas that I just threw out there, that's actually all I've gone through right now. So the plaid half sleeve, the lips, and then the barbed wire and the tribal armband.

Speaker 1 Those are the four that I'm thinking of right now.

Speaker 1 I think a bowl of soup.

Speaker 1 I think a bowl of soup could be pretty understated, but cool. I think

Speaker 1 if you got Leroy, that always plays. No one can say shit about Leroy.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That could be good. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, maybe just his face. Or maybe even like a minimalist Leroy where it's like his muzzle.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Or his paw print.
Yeah. I've got one one of his paw prints.
Paw prints work for sure. That would be cool.
Marlon's million.

Speaker 1 Stop, stop.

Speaker 1 Hank, enough with your troll shit. Hank's on his troll shit right now.
Oh, he's big. Hank's troll shit.
He bet the bears money. Okay, I'm going to go map Patricia on you.

Speaker 1 Sit up when you're talking to me. It looks like you're melting into that chair.
He's very happy. He bet the bears money.
I mean, the second Dickie B died, it was a lot. He had to.
He had to. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Agreed. So, Jake, you'll like this.
We ran into Al Michaels tonight. I saw that tweet.
What was that interaction like?

Speaker 1 So I was waiting to meet Josh, and I was sitting in the owner's suite area. And we get up there, we sit down, and then the first person that walks past us is Al Michaels.

Speaker 1 Walks like he's the only person besides us in the room with one of the security guards that was like bringing him up there. And he walks right past us.

Speaker 1 And memes, as he was walking past us, memes points right in his face and goes, That's Al Michaels.

Speaker 1 I was like, Come on, memes, be cool, be cool. And then Herb Street walked by a second later, and he was like, That's Skirk Herb Street.

Speaker 1 So, shout out, Herbie. He says, What's up to all the AWLs? He says, What's up to all you guys? Did you say anything about my problem with his plane tweet? He, no, he did not say that.

Speaker 1 I'll take that up with him when we have him on again. He kept that to himself.

Speaker 1 And then, me and Memes were sitting in these chairs, and a bunch of kids walk in, and they're all wearing like nationals gear, Washington Nationals gear.

Speaker 1 And then we hear them start to scream, and we're like, What's going on? I turn over my shoulder, Magic Johnson walks out.

Speaker 1 Oh, Magic Johnson was just standing right next to me, getting pictures with every one of these kids. Magic Johnson's the nicest person in the world.

Speaker 1 oh duh he's magic he's literally magic it's that's like one person that i was completely starstruck by was magic johnson i could see that for sure uh memes also did some weird video work where he was just so close to you i don't know what was happening he was he was zooming all the way in on you yeah memes likes to get a nice tight shot there yeah he was in the seat directly next to me did he tell you he owned that

Speaker 1 one of the ones that looked like you didn't know he was recording you and just looked over in disgust and then happened to see the the camera after the fact.

Speaker 1 Oh, I never knew when Memes was recording or when he wasn't. It was just a complete surprise.
I would turn around and he'd have the camera like right in my face. Oh, PFT, last thing.

Speaker 1 We talk about this. I have one more.
I have one. I do suggest.
Yeah, right. We talked about this in Firefest, but you,

Speaker 1 your thought crossed your mind, and I know because it crossed mine. When Joey Sly was about to kick that field goal to make it 30 to 23,

Speaker 1 we were in tie zone. Yes.
So

Speaker 1 can, you can, you can ask memes with 10 minutes left in the fourth quarter, 10 minutes left. I looked at him, I go, you know, tie's not off the table.

Speaker 1 I think it is.

Speaker 1 I was so, I was like, oh my God,

Speaker 1 what have you done? What have you done? That thought definitely was a big factor. Also, memes booed a veteran tonight.
Oh, no. So, in between quarters, they bring a veteran out.

Speaker 1 Memes is an indoor cat. Yeah, you can't bring memes.

Speaker 1 Memes booed the veteran. I looked at him.
I was like, what are you doing, memes? He's like, it's a black rifle coffee ad. Oh, all right.
Yeah. Good job, memes.

Speaker 1 He's like, I'm going to sell a blue guy. There we go, memes.
Fun God. Yes.
All right. What was your last tattoo?

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 since you'll never actually own one, you could get an El Camino tattooed on your body. Oh, that was mean.
I'm going to buy an El Camino just to spite you. That was mean.
I'm going to light it on fire.

Speaker 1 That was mean. That's not a bad idea.
That'd be a cool tattoo. You're excited.
What are you going to get at PFT? Wouldn't that be a good idea?

Speaker 1 I have to do it pretty soon, right? Jack Levison. That would be a cool tattoo.
Yeah, it would be a cool tattoo. Yeah, you got

Speaker 1 a video of it, PM TV, if you get a tattoo. What if you get it not to...

Speaker 1 I mean, you're not doing the punishment, but we're going to have nothing else going on during the 24-hour stream.

Speaker 1 Oh, you want me to fill up hours of your block of solo content? Well, for the viewers, I'm saying, like,

Speaker 1 don't make your problem.

Speaker 1 No, I'm just trying to kill two birds with one stone. That's a good idea.
I will get a tattoo. If there's a Chicago-based tattoo artist that's good, please refer them to me.

Speaker 1 And any other ideas that you have, I'm sure people are tweeting me tattoo ideas non-stop right now, so I haven't really checked Twitter much after the game. But yeah,

Speaker 1 I'll get the tattoo soon. I would like to get it

Speaker 1 for Halloween. I might get one with you.
Leroy playing the guitar.

Speaker 1 Ooh, that would be cool. You never did that.
Dogs can't play guitar. They don't have thumbs.

Speaker 1 Like I said, PFT, I spent all day planning my tattoo that

Speaker 1 I might just get one with you. I might just have one.
What about a neck tattoo?

Speaker 1 What about an open tear?

Speaker 1 And if you can ever beat the Bears, you can close it.

Speaker 1 A teardrop in my eye. Yeah.
That's stolen valor for murderers, though. That's true.
That's true. All right.
Other things. We've got to talk about baseball real quick.
More like the mild card.

Speaker 1 That's a good one, Frank. Yeah, Frank, Frank.
I actually, I saw that and I laughed. I reached out right away.
He's right. Yes, Yes.
He's absolutely right. He's right.

Speaker 1 All sweeps. Yeah, all sweeps.

Speaker 1 I was telling Max this earlier today. I'll say it for the whole audience to hear, but even though I'm a Nationals fan, they're a division rival.
I really like the Phillies.

Speaker 1 They're so much fun to watch. Dude.
And they're the big Nats.

Speaker 1 They've got all our old players. We're like, you know, we're the farm system for the Phillies.
So very easy to root for. Awesome environment.
It's fun to watch the Phillies in postseason baseball.

Speaker 1 It's also just Schwerber. I'll root for Schwerber wherever he goes.
Like, I fucking love love that dude so goddamn much. He is the best.
Like him partying. Did you see the video of him?

Speaker 1 They were trying to get him to do a keg stand and it was like Schwerber it like hit in his head that he wasn't at an Indiana frat and he's like wait I shouldn't do a keg stand but he wanted to so badly he's the absolute best yeah that listen toughest place to play the bank is Hank hater Hank Hater Hank has been going crazy and just saying, oh, everyone stood up for a home run.

Speaker 1 Never see that anywhere else. No, listen, I have no issue with Philadelphia fans.
I love the passion. I do have an issue with our producer, Max, saying there's nowhere else like it in sports.

Speaker 5 Professional sports, I said.

Speaker 1 It doesn't matter.

Speaker 5 Stand by it.

Speaker 1 I mean, I'm not the only one who's been saying it. No, that's not, like, again, the clip, it's a great clip.
They're definitely the most passionate fans

Speaker 1 probably left in the current playoffs, but, like,

Speaker 1 it's not saying there's nowhere else like it in professional sports is just a lie. That's my

Speaker 1 hater Hank. Yeah, this is Hater Hank.

Speaker 5 It is like the talk of baseball right now: the Phillies crowd.

Speaker 1 It is electric. Oh, it is electric.
No, it is electric. No, it's electric.
Hater Hank. That's not a Hater Hank.
I'm just. Oh, no, no, no.
You're bad.

Speaker 5 Like, that video of the crowd singing Bryson Stott's walk-up song as he walks to the plate and then five seconds later hitting a grand slam is like one of the coolest sports videos of the year.

Speaker 1 Yeah, for sure. Of the year.

Speaker 5 Like,

Speaker 1 especi, like, everyone has a walk-up song.

Speaker 5 You never hear the entire team just like.

Speaker 1 That's not true, though. That's where it's like, you're losing me.
Fans sing along to songs. That's not like.
No.

Speaker 5 Yes. In Europe.
Yes. In Europe?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 I've been to Red Sox games where they do that. Well, they do like the Sweet Carolina.
Sweet Carolina.

Speaker 1 God, no, I'm not sure if I can do it.

Speaker 1 What about your boy, Shane Victorino? When he was on the Red Sox World Series team, everyone sung his song and he walked up. That's true.
Like, that's my point.

Speaker 1 I'm not trying to be hater Hank. I'm just saying it's not like it happens.
Hater Hank. Hater Hank.
That's fine. This is hate.
Hater Hank. Let the hate out.
You know what? I like Hater Hank.

Speaker 1 No, I don't. No, we need a hater, and

Speaker 1 he plays it well.

Speaker 5 I mean, but I'm not the only one saying it.

Speaker 1 But who else is saying? SVP?

Speaker 5 What did he say? Well, he had SVP, his first question, I don't know if it was his first question, first question of the clip, and it was the only question of the clip. He asked,

Speaker 5 what's different about Citizens Bank Park? And Jeff Passen said, It's an SEC football crowd and a baseball stadium.

Speaker 1 Right. In your face.

Speaker 1 I'm not saying that. I'm just like.
Well, he didn't say which SEC football. And I'm not sure.
It could be a Vandy school. It could be a Vandy.

Speaker 1 Like, Cubs fans, if they were in the playoffs, they're just as popular. You know, we definitely sang all those songs when they did the Watch.

Speaker 1 Yankees, Division Ryan. Definitely not.
If the Yankees are in the fucking playoffs, like, those fans go nuts. Red Sox fans go nuts.
Phillies fans go nuts.

Speaker 5 It costs like five bucks to go to a Yankees game.

Speaker 1 Not if they're in the playoffs. Not in the playoffs.
Okay, but like, regardless, it costs five bulls. It was Rawhead in October if they make it.
No, no. Max already.

Speaker 1 It costs $5 to go to a Yankees playoff game.

Speaker 5 I didn't say playoff game. I said it to cost $5 to go to a Yankees game, which it does.

Speaker 1 Even the A's, dude. The A's have like trombones and shit.
They don't even have a real team anymore. The A's? The A's when they play the

Speaker 1 when the A's are in the playoffs.

Speaker 5 We're now talking about the.

Speaker 5 we could look at what just happened. We just saw the race couldn't even get

Speaker 5 a quarter of the stadium filled.

Speaker 1 We're not talking about the bad teams, we're talking about the good teams, and there's a lot of them.

Speaker 5 You just said the A's.

Speaker 1 When the A's are in the playoffs, it's nuts. Fact or fiction.
That's a fact. That's what I'm saying.
That is all I'm saying. It's like Max saying there's nowhere else I get in sports.
It's like,

Speaker 5 I'm not the only one saying it, though, hey.

Speaker 1 Like, that is just like the talk.

Speaker 5 Let's get fucking Jared Karabis on here. That's the only thing he says.
And he talks about the Red Sox, and he says that

Speaker 5 the Phillies stadium is different.

Speaker 1 It is a good environment. I think what we've discovered here is

Speaker 1 postseason baseball crowds are just cool. Yeah.
But the Phillies is the best. Not the Rays.

Speaker 1 I would actually say the Mariners probably is even better. Fuck off.
I need to turn my mic down.

Speaker 1 I think the Orioles are going to give the Phillies a run for their

Speaker 1 fans are hot. Yeah, agreed.
Agreed.

Speaker 1 Orioles is going to be popular.

Speaker 1 I already got a video of them singing along to a song. So shout out to Dan Heron and the Diamondback.

Speaker 1 Shout out to Dan Heron and the Diamondback. Shout out to the Twins.
Go beat the Astros, please. I got the hiccups.
Who else?

Speaker 1 Go Twins. That's number one.
Oh, the Rangers?

Speaker 1 And the Orioles. Yeah.
Dippy Backs Dodgers. Yeah, yeah.
And the Rangers beat the Rays, and the Rays were pathetic. That was so pathetic.
The crowd was so pathetic. We need O's Phillies.

Speaker 1 O'S Phillies would be easy. Oh, that'd be great.

Speaker 1 What's the highway that connects Philadelphia and Baltimore?

Speaker 1 416. No idea.
95? Probably 95.

Speaker 5 95. 95 connects everything.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right, so Max, last question.
Are you worried about the Braves and Bloopy?

Speaker 5 The Braves are really good.

Speaker 5 Obviously,

Speaker 1 for everyone who wants to take some notes for some playoff baseball, here's the official scouting report. The Braves are really good.

Speaker 5 Braves are really good.

Speaker 1 What's their home environment like?

Speaker 5 Not as good as the Phillies.

Speaker 1 Strider is scared to go to Philly.

Speaker 5 Strider is definitely scared to go to Philly.

Speaker 1 Just win one on the road.

Speaker 5 The Phillies have the best winning percentage at home

Speaker 5 at Citizens Bank Park in the MLB. That's just a fact.

Speaker 1 I just want to say they've won more games at Citizens Bank Park than any other team this year.

Speaker 5 No, their winning percentage at home in the playoffs is the best in the MLB. That's a fact.

Speaker 1 Because it'd be 2-0.

Speaker 5 No, of all time. Every game that's every playoff game at Citizens Bank Park, at least 20 games played.
Phillies have the best home winning percentage.

Speaker 1 Have you guys ever been no hit there?

Speaker 1 I'm saying a fact. All right.
Phillies. I got so much.
Well, so is Big Cat. And I got so much shit for reminding you that on the last episode, too.
Like, you got to take the good with the bad.

Speaker 1 It was awfully quiet at the bank that night. Yeah.
The bank wasn't able to do it that night.

Speaker 5 The Phillies have the best home-winning percentage in baseball since the bank has opened.

Speaker 5 Really? What was the question?

Speaker 5 I just forgot that stat. I didn't forget it, but I just needed to make sure that was said.
Okay. Oh, the Braves.

Speaker 5 Yeah, Braves are really good, but they were really good last year, and we fucking spanked them last year. And I think that we're better this year than we were last year.

Speaker 5 I'm still worried about our starting pitching, but our bats, our lineup is just so fucking good. I mean, but so is theirs.

Speaker 5 I think Phillies Braves is the best. The Phillies Braves will probably be the best series.

Speaker 1 Max is talking himself in.

Speaker 5 The Phillies Braves will probably be the best series of the entire playoffs. Sucks.

Speaker 1 Max, when they start to do the chop in Atlanta, you're going to be like, I fucking need the chop.

Speaker 5 No, the chop is such a piece of shit. Oh,

Speaker 1 getting a little liberal over here. Think it's offensive?

Speaker 1 Yep. Okay, nice.
We stand on it. We stand on it.

Speaker 5 Yeah, bloopers is going to be annoying, and I'm not creative enough to go back at him, so I'm going to have to.

Speaker 1 The thing about bloopers, you can't beat a mascot because he's a mascot. You just got to hope the Braves lose, and then you just dance on his grave.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what you have to do, Max, can I give you some advice? Yep. You got to lean heavy on Shane in his Photoshop game for this one.

Speaker 1 You got to have a bunch of really embarrassing blooper Photoshops because you don't want to get into a war of words with a mascot.

Speaker 1 They don't speak, so all their good thoughts just come out and tweet for them.

Speaker 1 You have to have Shane whip up some seriously fucked up Photoshops like Blooper on Epstein's Jet, that type of shit.

Speaker 5 Has he said anything to you yet, Max yeah he said I said give me blooper and he said I don't think you need me you need a salad yeah he's gonna play dirty yeah yeah

Speaker 5 but it I my goal is to just say that he's little brother mascot he just wants to be the Philly fanatic yes that's good so that should if memes could start thinking of some memes about him being little brother maybe a little maybe a little you small small you what's it little you small oh pft did you see the song I forget that yeah PFT did you see the the song?

Speaker 1 Oh, also, PFT.

Speaker 1 No, I padded the outro. We'll use it as an outro in the group chat.
PFT, that also

Speaker 1 because there were a couple times where the Bears big-boyed the Commanders.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay. Yes, I'm aware.
I watched the game. Yeah, I just wanted to say big boy football.
It was big boy football a couple times.

Speaker 1 Also, Jonathan Allen kind of big boy Justin Fields at one time where he body slammed him. That was cool.
Oh, he got concussed.

Speaker 1 Justin Fields got concussed he got he got that was that was a right on the top of his head how much does Justin Fields weigh like 240 pounds he's like 230 yeah yeah Jonathan Ellen's strong strong man he's so strong okay

Speaker 1 anything else we should kick it to ourselves we've got like I said must listen tag on Marlin's man's call in the middle of the picks and preview segment and then an unbelievable interview with Sam Morrell so uh yeah let's kick it to ourselves okay time for our weekend preview.

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Speaker 1 Okay, boys, week five. The bye weeks are here.
The bye weeks are here. We have finally, finally, the NFL has given us an appropriate slate where we have

Speaker 1 a London game, six one o'clock, 12 o'clock games, and then four afternoon games. So it's perfect.
We have every TV active. It's going to be great.

Speaker 1 Maybe not some of the best matchups, but the best matchup is Sunday night. So it's crazy because at first glance, we're like, awesome.
We have football all day, which kicks ass.

Speaker 1 But then also it's like kind of shitty once the London games start happening because you have no time to be a real human being at all on Sunday.

Speaker 1 So it's very important on Sundays to at least do one activity that makes you feel like you're not an asshole. Go outside.

Speaker 1 Walk outside, take the dog out one time, help out around the house, do a chore, do your taxes if you got the extension, Hank.

Speaker 1 But in this case, it's like you are just back-to-back to back-to-back football. You have no time to do anything, which no time.

Speaker 1 I love, I love it, but also just let me pretend to be a human being for like, give me an hour and a half window.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I take my kids to the diner every Sunday morning, and I uh, last week, I we just you know, well, it goes pretty quick, but I just had to watch some of the game on my phone.

Speaker 1 That's you know, you got to make sacrifices a little bit, you do, yeah, yeah. Uh, all right, so London game, first game, and then we'll get to the uh, the the early slate.
Jaguars at Bills,

Speaker 1 London game. Jaguars are.
This is fucked up that the Bills lost the home game, huh? Yeah. Even think about that.
But they do something different. I think they might get that home game back.

Speaker 1 There's some sort of scheduling quirk where they're like, well, if you miss out on this one, we'll give you something extra. I forget what it is.
Okay, all right. Either way, that is fucked up.

Speaker 1 Although I did see the mayor of Buffalo has put in, this is so Buffalo.

Speaker 1 Everyone, you know, politics hot button these days, government hot button these days. The mayor of Buffalo was like,

Speaker 1 I've made sure that it is allowed for bars to serve beer at 8 a.m. Okay, that's it.
So all bars are able to be open. That was like,

Speaker 1 Buffalo might be the last place in the world where like politics actually work because they care about the important things. Like, can Bill's fans get drunk for the London game?

Speaker 1 They're serving the people up there. Right.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, they know which side their bread's buttered on. It's not like you're going to get votes if you shut down the bars.
Yes. I'm excited to see Bill's mafia over in London.
Yes.

Speaker 1 See how they're going to slam back like a bunch of 52-degree beers. Do you think the Duval people have just stayed? Probably.

Speaker 1 I'm sure that there are some people from Jacksonville that have just made, like, probably moved to London. That's my favorite thing about sports is the vacations around sports.

Speaker 1 You see it a lot with bowl games where college fan bases will be like, yeah, I'll go to Tampa, Florida for, you know, five days around this bowl game.

Speaker 1 That's true sports fandom where it's like, yeah, I guess I do need a family vacation. Oh, well, let's just work it into my real life, my sports team.

Speaker 1 That does kind of rock, though, that they get two games over there. So you can do an entire week.
Jacksonville fans would probably go out west, hang out with the Pikes from Snatch. Yep.

Speaker 1 Go to some bare knuckle. That's basically Jacksonville.
Go to Birmingham, see Thomas Shelby. Yeah, West England is very similar.
It's just Jacksonville with fog. Yes.
Yes. So

Speaker 1 this game, I like the Bills in this game.

Speaker 1 I have to say this stat every single week because it is incredible. Every time it keeps growing, Josh Allen has 59 wins and 45 of them are by seven points or more.
It's pretty fucking insane.

Speaker 1 Cam Robinson is going to, I think, going to be back. He's eligible to be back.
I don't know if he made the trip. I think he's, that obviously will help the Jaguars' offensive line a lot.

Speaker 1 And the only other note I had in this game, we talked about the Lunder. Jake hit his Lunder.

Speaker 1 Tottenham over is 5-1. So when they play on that field, it's 5-1 to the over.
The Lover. The Lover.
He's got the big Lover this week.

Speaker 1 He's going to take the Lunder. I know he is.
I know he is. Vaughn Miller might be back, too.

Speaker 1 Actually? He might be. So

Speaker 1 my theory is that he's going to say, like, I want to play, I want to play, and that the Bills won't let him play. But he is eligible to play this week.
He's returned to limited practice.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he says he wants to practice this week. So there's a chance.

Speaker 1 I put it at like 30% that he's going to play. But if he plays, he'll probably make an impact.

Speaker 1 Really fucking good. I just searched him.
He said, I feel like riding a bike, an old bike. Oh, while he's over there? No, while he's getting back into like shape, playing shape.
Okay.

Speaker 1 He feels like he's riding a bike an old bike. Oh, so but he's he's like, it's riding a bike like once you learn to ride a bike, you never forget.

Speaker 1 But it might be an old bike where like the chain keeps falling off. The giant front wheel bikes that the newsies.

Speaker 1 It's a little bit, the front wheel's a little bit flat, but you can't figure out where the hole is, so it's just slowly leaking air. Yeah, I have a travel note on this game.
Okay. Sean McDermott.

Speaker 1 So I love it when teams go overseas because they all think that they can figure out a way to outsmart Father Time and outsmart Jet Lag. And we've all been there.

Speaker 1 When you're planning a trip over to Europe, you're like, okay, here's the plan.

Speaker 1 Here's how to do it uh sean mcdermott's plan was that the bills flew uh through the night on wednesday night okay to get there or sorry they they're flying through the night uh tonight on thursday night so it'll be yesterday if you're listening to my words right now so they went overnight tried to get sleep on the plane then they're going to stay up all day on friday go to bed on friday night at the regular time even though it's going to be like five hours early i did this exact move going over to donnie's wedding

Speaker 1 and as good of an idea as it sounds like on paper, you think you've got the diagram out there. You're looking at the hours that you're going to spend on a plane.

Speaker 1 You're thinking, oh, I'll get a full night's sleep, a solid eight hours on the plane. My friend, you are not going to get eight hours of sleep on a plane.

Speaker 1 And then they're going to try to stay up through it.

Speaker 1 I'm not confident with the Bills' sleep plan. Because speaking for myself, on Sunday, when I was coming back from Donnie's wedding, I was very gassy.

Speaker 1 So I think that

Speaker 1 was about time zones. Von Miller might be gassy.
He likes likes to fart in meetings. So there are probably going to be some very, very stinky sidelines for the Bills.

Speaker 1 If I were a coach of an NFL team and we had a London game, I would leave right after the game on Sunday. Yeah, get there as early as possible.

Speaker 1 Just go. Just be like, don't even go home.
Pack your bags. Let's go right away.
Pack two suits.

Speaker 1 Just deal with the first, because Monday, Tuesday will suck, but then you'll be normal and you'll feel good. That would be my plan.

Speaker 1 For time. My plan would be I would get a team of doctors with dubious ethics, and I'd have them just give everybody on the team an IV with anesthesia in it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just knock them, like medically put them into a coma for nine hours on the flight, and then wake them up when it's morning time over there. And then, boom, your body thinks that it's morning.

Speaker 1 I would go one further. I would knock them out.
I would have everyone go home, have them go to bed, knock them out, go into bed, and then go and carry their bodies onto the plane. Kidnap them.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so that way you wake up, and then you'd carry their bodies off the plane into a bed.

Speaker 1 So they go to sleep in Buffalo and and they wake up in their beds in london yeah and i would put i would put like uh film or like the uh the game plan in headphones that they'd have to listen to while they're in a coma so they memorize the play calls they memorize the strategy going into the game it's like reading on a book it's like sleeping on a book yeah yeah you get smarter it's osmosis

Speaker 6 uh nerd nugget yeah this is the josh allen bowls so linebacker josh allen recorded his 200th tackle as a jaguar last week he's tied for first in the nfl with six sacks and holds the record for most sacks through four games in franchise history That's right.

Speaker 1 Are you a little under the weather, Jake?

Speaker 1 I don't think so. Have you been hanging out around dogs?

Speaker 1 Yeah. You have?

Speaker 7 Yeah, I gave Blake a treat yesterday. Oh.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's right. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Blake got you sick. Are you, yeah, because you sound like you're a little under the weather? It's just

Speaker 1 early. It is early.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I'm fine.

Speaker 1 You sure? I'm powering through, yeah. Okay.
I'm fine. I'm nervous about you.
I don't want you to get sick. Me either.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay. It is the Josh Allen bowl, though.
Yeah. That's always fun when Josh Allen sacks Josh Allen.
Hopefully, it doesn't happen that often. I am rooting for the Bills.

Speaker 1 I'm probably going to bet the Bills in this game.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Next game. Starting the noon slate.

Speaker 1 Not great games at noon, but I think we're going to have a fun witching hour. I'm predicting a fun witching hour.

Speaker 1 Ravens and Steelers is probably the best game on paper just because I don't know if you heard this, PFT, but these two teams don't like each other.

Speaker 1 You can throw out the record books when these teams get together. That's a fact.
No love loss between the Ravens and the Steelers. We're going to hear all those from the announcers.

Speaker 1 It's going to be be great. I love hearing it.
Yep. I love hearing it every year, twice a year.
I have a fun stat here. Did you know that Roquan Smith is not actually a Raven? Oh, really?

Speaker 1 He's not a Raven because he said last year, you're not a Raven until you beat the Steelers. Oh,

Speaker 1 and they asked him again about it. He's like, Yeah, I would really like to be a Raven next week, so I'm not a Raven yet.
Okay, so this is Roquan Smith's chance to become a Raven. To earn his wings.

Speaker 1 This game.

Speaker 1 This is one of those times where you have to

Speaker 1 just pretend that you didn't watch the Steelers look horrible against the Texans.

Speaker 1 You pretend that you haven't seen the Steelers' offense struggle all year, and the Ravens have looked good, and just be like, this is just Ravens Steelers. This is Tomlin Harbaugh.

Speaker 1 Take the underdog no matter what. It sucks.

Speaker 1 Is Kenny even Jerry said Kenny was playing, but it might.

Speaker 6 He told the media he's going to be ready to go on Sunday.

Speaker 1 So Jerry did have it first. He said he had it first on Monday

Speaker 1 that Kenny is playing in this game. He was going to say that no matter what.
Yeah, he was going to say that no matter what.

Speaker 1 The underdog over the last 20 years in this game is 28, 12, and 3 against the spread. And Mike Tomlin versus John Harbaugh, the underdog is 22, 5, and 3.
It's just take the underdog every time.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I love it. That's all it is.
I love that. The points really don't matter.
Being a favorite, it just serves to give bulletin board material to the other team.

Speaker 1 Because both teams are amped up for this game regardless. And then when they know that they're an underdog, that team's got the edge now.
And it's such a Tomlin spot where they came out flat.

Speaker 1 We all knew they were going to come out flat against the Texans. They're favorites after a big Sunday night win.
Now they're back home. Underdogs against the Ravens have looked like shit.

Speaker 1 There's no real reason you would want to bet the Steelers in this game, except for the fact that it's Steelers, Ravens, you just have to.

Speaker 1 We need to go back and look at Tomlin's record in games before they play the Ravens.

Speaker 1 If they look like dog shit more often than not, maybe Mike Tomlin is purposely tanking those games just to get amped up for Ravens Steelers.

Speaker 1 Just to become an underdog so he can be like, no one believes in us. Yeah, just to be, just to beat your division rival.
I like that.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't put it past old mike on that one no i wouldn't either uh i think that at this game um it's being played in pittsburgh at aquashure stadium aquashure yeah for this game it should always be heinz field yeah it's heinzfield for ravens don't tell me it's aquashure yes and it should also always be uh nighttime or late afternoon uh and it should be like 40 degrees and people should be getting hit and you should be being like ooh That hurt.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Real bad.
There needs to be at least two ejections in this game. I actually have an idea for the Ravens.
I don't know if it's possible to do.

Speaker 1 They signed Trey Swilling to their practice squad. You know Trey Swilling.
Everybody knows Trey Swilling. Of course.

Speaker 1 You probably remember him because he got into a fucking knockdown fight with George Pickens when Pickens was at Georgia. Swilling was at Georgia Tech.
They hate each other.

Speaker 1 I mean, George Pickens probably hates everyone, but he especially hates Trey Swilling.

Speaker 1 They need to put Trey Swilling up on the game day roster just to get into a fight and get Pickens kicked out of the game. I like that.
That's the strategy. I like that.
Just have them go after him.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Nerd nugget for this game.

Speaker 6 First off, remember when these teams played on Wednesday afternoon? Yes. That was crazy.

Speaker 1 That was crazy. That was wild.

Speaker 1 Was that Thursday night football on a

Speaker 1 Wednesday afternoon? I love that. It was Sunday night football on a Wednesday.

Speaker 7 Yeah, it might have been.

Speaker 1 I love NBC. I love that shit.
When

Speaker 1 it's Thursday night football on Saturday night or however they mix up the days, it's the best. Yeah.

Speaker 6 18 of the last 30 games between these two teams have been decided by three or fewer points, including both last year. No division rivalry has more than 11 decided by a field goal or less.

Speaker 1 Wow. Wow.
15 years. Wow.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Next up, Giants, Dolphins. Giants look like trash.
Dolphins came back to earth. The big story here, though, is the Evan Neal controversy, the notes app that Evan Neal had to release.

Speaker 1 And I have to play some audio because Don Legreca, who's a host in New York City, had one of the funniest,

Speaker 1 you know, we pay your salaries rant of all time. So I'm going to play it for you.
It is very, very funny. So, here's Don Legreca on Evan Neal.

Speaker 1 Evan Neal, he sets the table, but Evan Neal basically was like, All these fans, they're just you know, making hot dogs flipping burgers. I don't care about them.
Okay, here it is. Hold on.

Speaker 1 Evan Neal looked up towards the stands, raised his arms, and gestured sarcastically. He said he did not flip off fans, but he did yell a clear message to them.

Speaker 1 They are booing us, so I said, Boo louder, Neil told NJ Advance Media on Wednesday. Why would a lion concern himself with the opinion of a sheep? He added.

Speaker 1 The person that's commenting on my performance, what does he do? Flip hot dogs and hamburgers somewhere? Are you kidding me? I'd cut his ass. I would.
How dare you? These people pay your salary.

Speaker 1 They pay an obnoxious amount of money to park, an obnoxious amount of money for PSLs, to sit there and watch this pap, and you call him hamburger flippers? What, you're so much better?

Speaker 1 I'd rather have a guy that's flipping hamburgers blocked than your piece of garbage ass. Who the hell are you to talk to fans like that? You piece of garbage.
I hate when players do that.

Speaker 1 You're not above us. What? Because you happen to play a sport? You're better than me.
You're better than the people that pay your salary.

Speaker 1 These giant fans were here before you, and they'll be here after your sorry ass is cut. What a piece of human trash.
And I don't want to hear some apology.

Speaker 1 I don't want to hear, oh, I was taken out of context. I didn't mean it.
I don't want to hear, done, done. I would cut his fat ass.

Speaker 1 If you see him in the the mall of Willowbrook, boo his ass. If you see him on the DMV, boo him.
Don't stop booing him. If he goes to the Pro Bowl, boom.
If he wins a Super Bowl, boo his sorry ass.

Speaker 1 Screw that guy. We're not nobody flipping, but how are you? How do you condescend to people that pay to watch you play? Poorly, I might add.
Right tackle.

Speaker 1 So good. If you see him on the TMV, boo his ass.

Speaker 1 If you see him at the Willowbrook Mall, boo his ass. I would cut his garbage ass.
His fat ass. He's fat ass.

Speaker 1 Where do you get off just because you play a sport? You're not better than anybody. He's so good.

Speaker 1 I also love that you could also make the argument that the Giants pay Don Legreca's salary because that's where

Speaker 1 most of his listenership comes from. Yeah, and also the Giants being bad.
Like Evan Neal is great for Don Legreca's job. Exactly.
Bad players are great for him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like as much as we joke around and make fun of Taylor Swift, like at the end of the day, she's giving us stuff to talk about. Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 It keeps the world going. It's the Deion Sanders when it's like, love him or hate him, but he gets the people going.
But yeah, that was such an all-time.

Speaker 1 He was so upset and so offended, which I agree with him. Like, you can't, when players are like, oh, they don't have a right to boo or, you know, no, we have a right to boo.
Yeah, we can boo.

Speaker 1 What do you mean we can't boo? Yeah, you can boo. We boo.
That's half the reason why we go to games sometimes. Yeah, we boo.

Speaker 1 You have to be able to exercise your right, your First Amendment right, to let guys know that you're paying money to watch them be a fat ass yeah it'd be like having a dog and never letting your dog go to the park or run around like fans have to boo we need to be able to boo otherwise that energy gets pent up and you see fights in this well sometimes instead of booing what you can do is you can give them a standing ovation that's true and amp them up and sarcastically going yeah and sarcastic because that's a mental make them turn the season around yeah that's what they should do for evan neal yeah take a page out of philly's book yes but yeah the all-time rant evan neal then released the notes app apology which

Speaker 1 there's just never been a good notes app apology ever you can't it just doesn't work Oh, I like this one because it was in dark mode. Yeah, it was in dark mode, which I enjoyed.

Speaker 1 It was a nice change of pace. Yeah, but

Speaker 1 so that's going up. The Giants look terrible.

Speaker 1 I love the over in this game just because I don't know if the Giants...

Speaker 1 The Giants have played really good defenses, by the way. So they've played Dallas.
They played the Cardinals. They played the 49ers.

Speaker 1 And then obviously the Seahawks aren't a great defense, but the Seahawks were able to do whatever they wanted with them. The Dolphins are a little bit of a step down in defense.

Speaker 1 And then the Dolphins' offense, I think, is a bounce-back game. I think this is where Mike McDaniel's like, fuck everyone who said that I like, you know,

Speaker 1 that we can't win these big games, even though this isn't a big game. I think it's a bounce-back game for the Dolphins.
So McDaniel said it's a get-right game. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He said, get right or you're going to learn the lesson, which it's not really him saying it's a get-right game outright, but it's in his mind.

Speaker 1 Like this is an opportunity for the Dolphins to get a little bit of their confidence back, which is why I like the Giants a lot in this game.

Speaker 1 Anytime, if a team stinks in a primetime game in front of a national audience and they stonk, like the Giants, you know what Evan Neal should have done? He should have booed the fans back.

Speaker 1 You can do that. You can get into a boo-off instead of going to the hamburgers and hot dogs line and insulting somebody and being like, you're beneath me.

Speaker 1 Your job doesn't mean anything, which I'm sure Evan Neal, like, look at his body type.

Speaker 1 He probably has paid a lot of salaries for hot dog and hamburger flippers. Fat ass.
Over the course of his life. Yeah.
He could be like, no, I pay your salary because I eat so much of your fast food.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But the appropriate garbage.
The appropriate response is just to boo back. Just get into a boo-off with each other.
Yes. Everyone can boo and it's fine.

Speaker 1 Yeah, let's just say, yeah, everyone will feel better if you just get a nice boo against each other.

Speaker 1 But as much ass as the Giants looked like on Monday night, that's exactly when you have to bet on a team. It stinks.
You have to just hold your windows, and you have to bet on a team like that.

Speaker 1 What's the weather in Miami?

Speaker 1 Because this is also where we're still in that early part of the season where they put the opposing team in the sun, and then you get the oxygen mass and the 86 and scattered showers.

Speaker 7 Okay.

Speaker 1 You get the random reports during the game, like this guy's out with a cramp, this guy's battling dehydration. I also love it.

Speaker 1 There's really some cool, fun story about how the coach made everyone like eat a banana before and

Speaker 1 drink salt in their water to try to keep the dehydration. You've got pickle juice on the sidelines.
I love the battling giant thermometers, too.

Speaker 1 It's like a piano bar in Miami when they have these really hot games where they'll show the giant thermometer on one sideline and then the giant thermometer on the other sideline. Right.

Speaker 1 And be like, it's so much cooler over here. Yes, yes.
Okay. So, nerd nugget.

Speaker 6 Giants have faced the Dolphins just 10 times. Their fewest games against any opponent in existence at the 1970 merger.
They're 7-3 against them and 4-1 on the road.

Speaker 1 That's a fun stat. That's a fun nerd nugget.
Yeah, because Giants, Dolphins. There's another game this weekend.
I think the Texans and the Falcons. I don't recall those teams ever playing each other.

Speaker 6 It was like in the Super Bowl two years ago. One of the Bengals and Rams ever played each other before that.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You never.

Speaker 1 It's the Bengals and Giants, too. Seahawks, Jaguars.
Never happened.

Speaker 1 They've never played. They treated them.
I know that.

Speaker 1 Like, technically speaking, they have to play every four years, but they actually don't.

Speaker 1 No one pays attention. Have the Cardinals ever played the Jets?

Speaker 1 No. I don't think they have ever played.
No.

Speaker 1 There's another one. There's some fun games you can throw out there.
You're like, no, I don't think those teams have ever played. Texans, Seahawks, Texans, 49ers have ever played.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The D'Amico Bowl.

Speaker 1 Okay, so next game.

Speaker 1 Hank,

Speaker 1 Saints Patriots,

Speaker 1 Matthew Judon and Christian Gonzalez out. Very difficult for the Patriots defense.
Those are probably the two best defenders on the Patriots.

Speaker 1 Did you see, Hank,

Speaker 1 before we get into the Raiders side of it, sorry, the Saints side of it, did you see that we got a report from an AWL named Matthew who went to the Neponzit River?

Speaker 1 No, I didn't see that.

Speaker 1 Why is Jake smiling?

Speaker 1 We have an extreme report from this guy. An extreme report.

Speaker 1 I can just tell from Jake's face that this is propaganda.

Speaker 1 Jake just gave it away. Hank, Hank, wait.
Jake's little shit-eating grin. They did the most serious investigative journalism that I've ever seen.
They got into the river. They got into the creeks.

Speaker 1 They literally got in the water. They went to the top of the lighthouse, took pictures.
We have overhead maps detailing the line of sight. Look at that, Hank.

Speaker 1 So they went in from the actual river, you cannot see the lighthouse.

Speaker 1 They were then able to find a stream, a runoff stream which is probably not a federally funded uh body of water it's not it's not connected then it is no it's not you guys don't understand water they were able to see it from the runoff stream uh but it's not visible from water behind uh in the actual the ponds at river and then they went up to the lighthouse uh and were able to look at everything this is i mean it's a it's a pretty good report you can't see shit well actually why wasn't i included why put this out like oh we saw this you're looking at your fucking email oh why weren't you hey why weren't we included in the report that you put together?

Speaker 1 And also,

Speaker 1 I presented it.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, you weren't on this email. Oh, yeah, okay.
The definitive mouth of the river is an imposite reservoir. Hank mentioned this as part of the headwaters system of the river.

Speaker 1 Unfortunately for Hank, the center of the lake is 1.2 miles from the lighthouse. What's more, the lighthouse is obstructed by the stadium itself and surrounding shopping complex and a mile of

Speaker 1 foliage and neighborhoods. The lighthouse would have to be a skyscraper to be visible from here.
The same applies to all the bodies of water south of Gillette Stadium. And yes, we checked all of them.

Speaker 1 Man Pond, the Cranberry Bog behind Bass Pro Shops, and various points along the street and stuff. These guys did some of the best investigative research we've ever seen.

Speaker 1 I'd say that this guy is standing in the parking lot in a stream that's in the parking lot, which is not in the pond. I didn't apply to him.
I asked if I could use his name. Huh? Yeah.

Speaker 1 He knows we didn't, we didn't ask him to send this. He sent this to us on his own.
Really good job by him. Like, I'm very impressed with the links that they went to.
Yeah, here's another part.

Speaker 1 North of the stadium, however, allows for somebody to actually see the lighthouse from outside the complex, depending on your vantage point.

Speaker 1 We found the furthest indicator of a wide river, not just a stream, on Google Maps. At its very thinnest, is behind the parking lot of Curry Leaf Indian Restaurant along Route 1.

Speaker 1 The water itself here is accessible after some bush whacking, so they probably had to

Speaker 1 really find the water. We managed to get into the water and look south-southwest towards the stadium.

Speaker 1 Unfortunately for Hank, the stadium is completely obstructed by the foliage between here and the lighthouse. If there was no foliage, it is still unlikely the structure would be visible.

Speaker 1 We felt safe crossing the section of the river off the list.

Speaker 1 It should be noted we had full intentions to drop a kayak onto those bodies of water, but heaving a kayak over a chain link fence into the water that was waist-deep water at its deepest proved to be more trouble than it would have been worth.

Speaker 1 Simply put,

Speaker 1 there's not a navigable bodies of water by any kind of boat, the exception being the reservoir. It's all Martian swamp.
Yeah. The reservoir, you can't see see the lighthouse.

Speaker 1 You can't see the lighthouse with the water. He literally went into the reservoir.
Hank, look at this, okay? So this is the water right here behind Curry Leaf.

Speaker 1 All right, so this is where it would be considered potentially navigable, where you could have maybe, maybe a canoe or a kayak, lighthouse not visible from water behind Curry Leaf.

Speaker 1 And there he is in the water. He's up to his waist in water.
You can clearly see. And he's pointing at the lack of the lighthouse.

Speaker 1 So I would say, Hank, that this is pretty ironclad, conclusive evidence that your fucked-up lighthouse sucks dick.

Speaker 1 That's not true.

Speaker 1 It's good evidence. Those kids did a good job.
Yeah, good evidence. Really good job.

Speaker 6 Did you update your phone background? I saw the

Speaker 1 kids. So shout out Matt

Speaker 1 and his

Speaker 1 friend Dan. Matt and Dan did the research that we needed, the real research that we needed.
That's one report.

Speaker 1 I had to present evidence.

Speaker 1 Yeah, correct.

Speaker 1 That's one report, but it's obviously

Speaker 1 biased. So we need another one.
Why is it biased? This is just facts. They're they're AWS why would they solve them you two that they're clearly big cat and PFT sheep again

Speaker 1 okay yeah I mean whatever like what do you mean whatever there's no discovery here not the bias they wanted to present a unbiased review they would have sent it to all of us the fact they sent it to you two makes me think that they went into it with one solution in mind and that was to make you guys happy so you would talk about them on your podcast I'm going to have to do my own independent, you know, again, they did a good job, but find some more renderings?

Speaker 1 I think it's one of those things, like similar to like the trevor bauer thing like maybe they're just purposely oh okay they're purposely leaving out evidence so you are you trevor bauer in this case yes okay got it got it just want to make sure got it they are purposely leaving out evidence that they had in order to make the story sound better i don't know what evidence what other evidence they could have evidence of the lighthouse from one of those fucking cranberry bogs also um i would also like to point out that the neponset reservoir is different from the neponset river that's and that's and and that is a key difference Hank, because the Neponset Reservoir is what's closest to the lighthouse, and you still can't see it from the reservoir.

Speaker 1 But your whole point was that you could potentially, that's not the river. That's not the Neponset River, and you know that.
So you misled the court.

Speaker 1 No, that was a mistake that I realized after the fact that I was hoping no one's going to bring up. Yeah, so you did mislead the court.
So thank you to Matt and Dan. Great work.

Speaker 1 Your check is in the mail.

Speaker 1 And also, yeah,

Speaker 1 shout out to the Patriots for trying to get in on the clout associated with the lighthouse by saying, here's a nice lock screen if anybody wants to put this fake lighthouse as a light. Do you have it?

Speaker 1 Not yet. Oh, so you don't even want it.
You don't even like it. You even tweeted that you were all set.
Like, you were like, I'm doing it. You don't, you're not, you don't even, you know, it's a fake.

Speaker 1 Hank, you're not about that light. Yeah, you have a real thing that's a marine, you know, thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Marine thing.

Speaker 1 Marine thing. All respect to actual marine stuff.
Marine things and stuff. I love whales.
Heretofore.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, this game. Hank, must win.

Speaker 8 Sure.

Speaker 1 Okay, I have a fun fact for Daniel Jones.

Speaker 1 Or sorry, Mac Jones.

Speaker 1 Mac Jones is 10-20-1 against the spread versus everyone except Zach Wilson. He's 5-0 against the spread against Zach Wilson.

Speaker 1 It's pretty good. He's just eating off Zach Wilson.
I also did a little deep dive last night. We don't give Dennis Allen enough credit for being one of the worst coaches of all time.

Speaker 1 Oh, I do all the time. Yeah, he is.
I went through it. He is the seventh worst coach of all time in the Super Bowl era.
So Hugh Jackson was 11 and 44.

Speaker 1 Steve Spagnola was 11 and 41. Gus Bradley was 14 and 48 with the Jaguars.
Dave Schula was 19 and 52 with the Bengals in the 90s. Pretty cool that Don Schula had like two fail sons.

Speaker 1 That's a good hit. Yeah, the Bowdens, too.
Yeah, the Bowdens. Pat Shermer, I completely memory hold that Pat Shermer coached both for the Giants and the Browns.
He was 19 and 46.

Speaker 1 And then Dave McGinnis in 2000 coached for the Cardinals for three years at 17 and 40. Dennis Allen is also 17 and 40.
So he's the sixth worst coach of all time.

Speaker 1 We need to put more respect on Dennis Allen's name. And it's not that he's just bad.
He's boring. Yeah.
Like what he did with the Raiders, okay, it's the Raiders. Shit happens.

Speaker 1 With the Saints, you had a fun team, a fun offense, at least. Say what you want about Sean Payton.

Speaker 1 He would roll the dice. The Saints were always great to watch on TV.
He's He's made the Saints boring. He's made the Saints unwatchable, which I hate because I love New Orleans.

Speaker 1 The dome used to be a great place to watch a football game. Now it's like you see the Saints in a matchup and you're like, oh, gross.
Yeah. I don't want to watch this.
Right.

Speaker 1 So, Dennis Allen, let's put some more respect on this guy's name for being a terrible, terrible head coach. Yeah.
I've got an interesting note on this game.

Speaker 1 So I've started, I love the maps that they put out on like Wednesday where they show the TV coverage and who gets what game

Speaker 1 across the country, the 506.

Speaker 1 And usually every week, there's like one map that they show where it's like, why is this city tuning into this game? Why are we forcing this game on that city?

Speaker 1 The Patriots and the Saints, it's really going to be Raven Steelers for almost all the country, except for New England and then NFC South Towns. But Fresno, California

Speaker 1 is being

Speaker 1 they're forcing this game on Fresno, California. I want to know why Fresno, all the AWOs and Fresno, I'm sorry that you have to watch this game, but why? Derek Carr.

Speaker 1 That makes sense. Fresno State.
That makes sense. That has to be why.
Yeah. Right? Okay, that would make sense.
That has to be why. Yeah, so if, yep.
Okay, mystery solved. Yep.

Speaker 1 I was going to say that. Look at that.
We solve mysteries on this show.

Speaker 1 We actually solve two here because of the Lighthouse. Don't

Speaker 1 the Patriots have a quarterback that went to Fresno too, right?

Speaker 1 Who's their backups?

Speaker 1 No, Billy Zappy went to Western Kentucky. No, there's

Speaker 1 the other league went to Louisville. No, the other guy.

Speaker 1 The other other guy? Yeah, the guy that got PEDs. uh are you talking greer no no will greer went to florida are you talking about

Speaker 1 uh i think you're no you're talking he's on i think he's on the rams

Speaker 1 i i i know who you're talking about uh

Speaker 1 fuck he was really really good he was really really good jake hayner jake hayner's who you're talking about is he not on the patriots i think jake haaner i think he actually might be on the he might be on the saints he's on the saints he is on the saints so there we go double fresno stake double fresno stake there you go you get hayner and you get derek carr yes all right mystery solved okay nerd nugget for this game patriots rookie punter bryce behringer is leading the nfl with 11 punts inside the 20 he's on pace to finish the year with 47 inside the 20 that would be the second in nfl history wow

Speaker 1 that's pretty cool yeah good punters that's a sign of a good

Speaker 1 fucking stats at punning stat that's just you know you're depressing you know you're a terrible franchise when you go out there and you just all you have to do is support your punter If you're like hypothetically wearing your punter's uniform right now on a podcast,

Speaker 1 you're so amped up for something. You're so down.
You're so down. I'm wearing a dress weight jersey as we speak.
Hank, you're so down that you're like, you can't even get up for this game.

Speaker 1 You go

Speaker 1 two and three, season back on. Is it? Would it be? We have no defense.
Our defense is done. Well, it's true.
Not just your defense. Neither one of these teams has scored 20 points this year.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Derek Harr looks so bad. It looks so bad.
The over-under is 40 and a half when neither team

Speaker 1 is versus Zach, and I would be all the way up. Yes, I agree with you.

Speaker 1 I would be locked in, excited, ready to go. What about this? Zach Jones versus Derek Carr.
How about Malik Willis versus Jake Haner? I'd watch that game. Yeah.
Turn around the franchise.

Speaker 1 You got JC Jackson back.

Speaker 1 Huge.

Speaker 1 Massive. Huge.
Massive. It's like that.
How did the Chargers let him go? It's

Speaker 1 the videos that always go viral where it's cold play, fix you, and it's all sad. That's the start of the season.
And then it gets happy.

Speaker 1 Lights will guide you home it's just a close-up of jc jackson yeah exactly go get paid somewhere else and then you you'll suck get cut and we'll take you back there you go that's pretty good system uh by the way marlins man's about to board his flight so we're gonna call him real quick and just get he feels like he's being unjustly criticized by barstool sports

Speaker 1 marlins man

Speaker 1 how you doing What's up? So you're on PMT right now. We wanted to give you a chance to defend yourself.

Speaker 1 There was a blog written by one of our colleagues that called you a fraud and you texted me and hank and said i defended barstool back in 2016 slash 17 when all we would talk about was hample gorilla suck your dick suck my dick um and you basically saved us in that time frame so what we wanted to give you a platform to defend yourself absolutely fire away uh okay so why are you mad

Speaker 1 okay

Speaker 1 so I basically felt you guys were going to be, and I thought you would be specifically the Howard Stern of sports. When I first met you guys, I loved what you were doing.

Speaker 1 I felt you were swimming upstream. Everybody's telling you you're doing it the wrong way.
You don't conform. And you were doing what you felt you wanted to do the right way.

Speaker 1 And sure enough, everybody turned around and started following you. And I remember when I went around the country, I was always getting abused.
Why would those guys? They're racist and they're bigots.

Speaker 1 They're only white guys saying Saturday is for the boys. They hate girls.
They demean girls.

Speaker 1 They talk about sucking dicks. Blah, blah, blah.
And I said, no, you don't understand. They're visionary.

Speaker 1 They're great. You're going to see.
ESPN once told me, we don't write about fans. We don't want to write about you.
It was a bunch of crap where I went to every single Sunday night game. Yep.
Yep.

Speaker 1 The whole year. Didn't even mention me.
Yep.

Speaker 1 You guys are about the fans. Yes.
Facts.

Speaker 1 Hold on. Somebody wants to the selfie.
Hold on. Hold on.
Go ahead. Oh, someone's had to the selfie.

Speaker 1 I got you. Play it up.

Speaker 1 Here you go. Nice.
Thanks, play it.

Speaker 1 There you go. There you go.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's right. It was a game I swear last night.

Speaker 1 Did we just get a shout out? Did the guy say he was listening to part of my take? Yes. Oh, I love it.
That's the Marlinsman effect.

Speaker 1 So, what I did was, since I thought we might be by video, I'm an idiot right now. I put on my Marlins Jersey advisory in the airport, and everybody's been swamping.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, now people can recognize you. You don't want the attention.
No, I don't like attention at all, right? Right.

Speaker 1 All right. So, so, so, Marlin's man, the Jordy who blogged it, he wrote the blog.
We, you know, we're a big company. I don't stand with what he's saying, but he has a right to voice his opinion.

Speaker 1 I don't think you're a fraud. I'm taking to a rule, which you guys didn't follow.
The rule is before you publish an article, you always contact the other guy for his opinion.

Speaker 1 And normally they say no comment or something like that. He didn't even call me or ask me why.
He just wrote bad journalism.

Speaker 1 And you're afraid of going to Philadelphia and you're a pussy.

Speaker 1 Well, he might want to know, I've gone to Philadelphia every year, and you've seen me there in the Army Navy game, and I'm the guest of honor. I've never seen anything like PFTA.

Speaker 1 I'm not a guest of honor. And I love Philadelphia.
So he doesn't even know that. But that's okay, because obviously now I knew it wasn't you and he's younger.
I'm not so pissed.

Speaker 1 He needs to be spanked. Is Eric? Is that PFT there too? Yeah, PFT.
Hey, Marlins, man, how's it going?

Speaker 1 You know why I like PFT? He asked me a question that I've asked everybody. Does PFT remember the first question he ever asked me? I don't.

Speaker 1 about zach campbell i don't was it will you suck my dick no

Speaker 1 get to that in a minute it was who's the most famous person in your phone yeah yeah i thought about it and i said that's a great question god damn it uh my mom

Speaker 1 and he said i love that guy i didn't like him before i love that guy my mom's the right answer that's always come and ask pft right now wait so you like wait so you like pft because of the question he asked you that you liked your answer.

Speaker 1 That's right. Got it.
Okay, got it. Got it.
Exactly. Yeah.
Here's my question now. PFT and you have interviewed some of the most famous people in sports.
I love it. I listen to your show all the time.

Speaker 1 I'm going to ask PFT right now, who is the most famous person in your phone?

Speaker 1 Tiffany Gomez. Tiffany Gomez.
Your mom. Your mom.
My mom. My mom.
My mom. I missed it.

Speaker 1 By the way, speaking of your mom, after your mom went to the Mets game with the Nationals game with me, everywhere I went in the country, people asked me, did your mom suck your mom suck your dick?

Speaker 1 Marlinsman.

Speaker 1 No. And I said, all I have to say about his mom is this.
Ready? She's super nice. She's hot for age.
And they're real.

Speaker 1 So I'm just going to buy it.

Speaker 1 What is going on, Marlinsman?

Speaker 1 Marlins, man. Marlins, man.

Speaker 1 You need to chill, Marlinsman. No, mommy did not suck my dad.

Speaker 1 Will you stop saying that?

Speaker 1 It's her birthday, Marlinsman. It's her birthday.

Speaker 1 All right, so Marlins, man, so we're good. Like, we don't think you're a fraud.
We understand you thought. We understand that now.
Okay.

Speaker 1 The funny thing about it is, if you know the sports, and you guys know sports better than anybody,

Speaker 1 nobody knew where the fuck the Marlins were going to play till Sunday night. That's true.
In fact, they almost had to play the four-out game, which I was going to.

Speaker 1 I have seasoned tickets to the Mets now in the second row. I was going to New York for the four outs on Monday, and I said, I can't wait.

Speaker 1 I already had had plans that looked like the Marlins were going to be in Milwaukee. By the way, if you do statistics, there was only a 12% chance the Marlins went to anywhere but Milwaukee.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. In order for that to happen, the Diamondbacks had to choke and lose four in a row.
And the Marlins had to win three out of four. Seven games had to go that way.

Speaker 1 That's a 12% chance, 12 and a half. So I figured, okay, I invited people.
I invited the Eminem guy. I'm sitting at the front row enemy with her fake tits.
You know, I got the whole thing lined up.

Speaker 1 I got three baseball celebrities. You got me,

Speaker 1 Amy, the Eminem guy. And I tried to get the pink hat guy from Chicago to do.
Yep. And

Speaker 1 Big Hat, you know who I'm talking about. Yes, I do.

Speaker 1 Yes. I thought we're going to have the four celebrities of baseball in the same place.
And here was the big surprise. Huge surprise for you.
What? I thought you might be going last night. I know.

Speaker 1 Okay, and you're a big sports fan. I know you couldn't make it.
And

Speaker 1 I like you guys a lot. I'm like, why would he do that? I just invited him to the game, and now he just basically says I'm a pussy and a fraud and all that other shit.
No, no, that wasn't us, though.

Speaker 1 That wasn't us. I know you told me that, and that's when I changed.
Well, here's what my surprise was for you. What?

Speaker 1 What is the biggest thing in sports right now? Marlins, man? Taylor Swift. Oh, Taylor Swift.
Taylor Swift going to the NFL games, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 What if I can make something bigger than that, and you were in the middle of it? What? Okay. Okay.

Speaker 1 What was the biggest sports

Speaker 1 story in the NBA the last three months?

Speaker 1 Didn't Lillard. Correct.
And what's the second biggest story? Whether Giannis is going to re-upt in Milwaukee. Yep.
Right. Yep.

Speaker 1 So what if Giannis is on one side of you and Lillard is on the other side of you, and then next to them is me, front row, Amy, and the Eminem guy. I didn't know this was a possibility.
Yes.

Speaker 1 So instead, when they just couldn't go because they weren't sure about security and stuff, instead, I brought with me some of the Bucks employees.

Speaker 1 The guy sitting next to me in the blue is a great guy and he's very skilled and he's competent. He's the lawyer for the Bucks.
Oh.

Speaker 1 And they wanted to make sure, and they did, those were safe seats. Because what they didn't want to do was distract from the game and have all the fans come down.

Speaker 1 Because here's Big Hat, the celebrity from, you know, Barstool. And here's Marlins man.
And here's the Eminem guy. And here's Giannis and Lillard.

Speaker 1 And what I wanted to tell them was, in seat one, which is where I was going to put you, is right next to the camera.

Speaker 1 Well, the fans can't come down and bother the guys and there's seven seats to the right so as it turned out it wasn't enough time if there had been a game tonight we would have done it okay

Speaker 1 it was I was going to tell you you need to and the guys win George owns Windy City limo in Chicago so he was going to arrive for you to be taken in a limo from Chicago up there on Windy City limo and he was going to take you in a windy city limo which is the team for the bears and he does the buses for the cubs he was going to have you go up there and you were going to sit and blow up the internet and the nba and nlb and and the bucks and the brewers would get all this and barstool would get all this free publicity they would go taylor who damn it yeah you're right so much bigger guy fuck all right well i'm sorry we couldn't make it

Speaker 1 yeah well

Speaker 1 we we still love you marlins man so don't worry it's a big company jordy has a right to an opinion uh we don't think you're a pussy or a fraud we think you're a friend here's what i want to do what city is jordy living philly

Speaker 1 perfect if i go to philly i'm going to bring him to the game with me okay i'm going to make that motherfucker take all the pictures yes there you go yes that's worse that's like hell yeah he's gonna take about a thousand pictures and be say oh this is this is disgusting wait a minute okay he's gonna be some of the people have called me a douchebag in a scumbag i'm gonna take pictures to become my biggest biggest fans.

Speaker 1 I love it.

Speaker 1 I love it. All right.
Well, Marlon's man, have a safe flight.

Speaker 1 We'll talk to you soon. I have a question.

Speaker 1 Marlon's man, how are your cats doing? PFT, tell your mom you miss her. I can't wait to see her in Washington.
I don't know if that's going to happen anymore.

Speaker 1 PFT asked how your cats are doing. Oh, wait, I think instead of taking Mia Khalifa with me to the Capitol Games, I'll take his mom.
Okay, all right.

Speaker 1 All right, you know what, Marlon's man, we'll just talk to you later, all right? We love you. Wait, one last thing is Hank there? Yeah, Hank's right next to me.
Hank, how's Rita doing?

Speaker 1 I haven't seen her in a long time.

Speaker 1 All right, goodbye, guys. All right, see you.

Speaker 1 Holy shit, what a call. He just roasted the shit out of us.

Speaker 1 What was that? That was torched earth.

Speaker 1 I think he played that perfectly. He's more of a genius than we realized because he's like, no, I'm not mad at you guys.

Speaker 1 You guys didn't say I'm a pussy and fraud, and then just was like, bro, right across the room. Dude, that was a slaughter.
That was awesome.

Speaker 1 I like how he's like, yeah, all these people, we would walk around the country and they were like, yeah, they're racist and they hate women and suck my dick.

Speaker 1 Saturday for the boys, so that means they hate women. Suck my dick, gorilla.
Oh, man. Miles, I don't know how we go on from that.
That was

Speaker 1 all time. Maybe the greatest call in part of my take history.
I need to collect my thoughts right now.

Speaker 1 Nerd nugget, Jake, for Saints Ray or Saints Patriots. I did it, yeah.
Patriot Punter. Okay, yeah, do it again just to cleanse us.
Patriots, rookie punter.

Speaker 6 Bryce Barringer is leading the NFL with 11 punts inside the 20. He's on pace to finish with 47 inside the 20.
That would be the second in NFL history.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 We good, boys? That was.

Speaker 1 That was. I think I'm good.

Speaker 1 You're like, well, it was all good stuff. He said that he didn't hook up with my mother.
Yeah, so that's that's good. You're like looking at your body being like, no, I think.

Speaker 1 And then you look down, you're like, oh, wait, I have a gateway. I've never met him either.

Speaker 6 And he has my number. He texts me, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
I don't know how that happened. Yeah.
I'm very glad that I don't have, he doesn't have mine. Yeah.
I like having. He texts me all kinds of things.
Actually, I take that back.

Speaker 1 Like, we DM and stuff, but

Speaker 1 he sends me all his stuff. Our relationship is now officially icy, me and Marlins, man.
Yeah. Yeah.
That was. It's icy.
That was something. All right.

Speaker 1 Hall of Fame call. Yes.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Listen, content is content. That was good.

Speaker 1 He has to bring Jordy now because if he brings Jordy and like that is the worst punishment you could give him, man, is like you have to take thousands of pictures.

Speaker 1 I don't want to jump into the whole discussion about journalism, what Jordy did or didn't do, because I don't know if he tried to reach out to Marlinsman, but I think that Marlin's man should have been contacted for the money.

Speaker 1 I agree. I agree.

Speaker 1 You have to hit him up. Before you publish that, it's journalism 101.
It's 101, exactly.

Speaker 1 Okay, next up, Panthers at Lions.

Speaker 1 I had this stat from the Action Network. They said last time the Lions were over a seven-point favorite was December 31st, 2017, versus the Packers and Brett Hundley.

Speaker 1 That's how long it's been since they've been over a seven-point favorite. They're like a nine, nine and a half favorite against the Panthers.

Speaker 1 And Jared Goff, just a reminder, is the most profitable quarterback in all football since he came into the NFL.

Speaker 1 Here's another one. Most profitable Lions quarterbacks against the spread the last 20 years.
Jared Goff, number one. I got number two, easy.
Yeah. Actually, this guy might be better than Jared Goff.

Speaker 1 Teddy Bridgewater. Nope.
Teddy Bridgewater, against the spread, has been. But not on the Lions.
Right, but in his career. Yeah, but he's a Lions quarterback.

Speaker 1 I know, but I'm surprised because the first thing you said was he's the most profitable quarterback. Oh, yeah, no, it is.
It is. It is.
More so than Teddy. Yeah, yeah.
All right, that's nice.

Speaker 1 So most profitable Lions quarterbacks, though, again, in the last 20 years. Jared Goff's number one because he's most profitable in all the NFL.
Who's number two and three?

Speaker 1 Last 20 years. I mean, I want to say Stafford, but it's not him.
It's not Stafford. John Kittna.
No. Joey Harrington.
Joey Harrington's number three. Okay.
Number two.

Speaker 1 Dan Orlofsky, six and one. How does he not?

Speaker 1 I'd have that in my byline. Six and one against the spread.
That's pretty good.

Speaker 1 That's all anyone cares about. Like, if you're like, oh, Dan Orlovsky, you weren't a good quarterback.
No, no, six and one against the spread's an incredible quarterback. Was he on the Owen 16 team?

Speaker 1 I don't remember. It might have been.
That was Kitna, and yeah, it might have been. I wonder how they were against the spread.
Owen 16. Because that's all I I really care about.

Speaker 1 Against the spread. The Owen 16 Lions, Rod Marinelli, what a team that was.

Speaker 1 I'm looking right now versus the line, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. So they were probably 7-9 against the spread.
That's pretty good. That is pretty good.
That's pretty damn good.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 that team was not good, but against the spread. Yeah, Orlovsky played seven games that year.
So

Speaker 1 that was probably where he went in 6-1. He was, he was on fire.
They should have started Daniel Orlofsky. Should have built around Daniel Orlofsky.
Didn't get a fair shake. Didn't get a fair shake.

Speaker 1 That safety was smart to take. It prevented, it swung field position.
Yeah. That's why they covered.
Are the Panthers one of the more bummer teams to watch? They're definitely a bummer team.

Speaker 1 I actually think they look better with Andy Dalton at quarterback. They're more exciting to watch with him back there.
Yeah. Like Bryce, he hasn't caught up to the speed of the NFL yet.

Speaker 1 There's a report that the Panthers need, they're looking for a wide receiver. They don't have a first-round pick.
Obviously, it's the Bears' pick.

Speaker 1 And I thought, I like DJ Moore a lot, but what if the Bears traded DJ Moore back to the Panthers for the next two first-round picks? Kind of like

Speaker 1 your own JC Jackson. Yeah, we just get all the first-round picks in the Panthers.
I don't want to part with DJ Moore, but if Ryan Paul, you've got to at least make that call.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, Adam Thielen's not bad, right? He's had a good season so far. Yeah, but they.

Speaker 1 I don't think that they're like a wide receiver away. No, I think it's more they need a wide receiver for Bryce Young's growth, which I understand that.
Yeah. Because

Speaker 1 you want your rookie quarterback to have someone to throw to.

Speaker 1 But yeah, the Lions, this is actually a really good litmus test for the Lions.

Speaker 1 And if they're for real, for real, you have to beat the Panthers soundly. Yeah, it might be a trap game.
Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 The Lions have all the publicity. They're really, really good.
But these are the type of games, if you are destined for a deep playoff run, You squash the Panthers and don't make it a game.

Speaker 1 The good news is they're getting Jameson Williams back. So the NFL said are bad on that whole gambling policy thing.

Speaker 1 They revised it and part of the revision was they gave like amnesty and let people who were suspended under the old terms back. Oh, nice.

Speaker 1 So Jameson Williams is back earlier than expected, even though I think they've just been like in preseason, they were just running him ragged on the like during practice.

Speaker 1 They were just putting all the workload on him since they knew that he wasn't going to play for a few weeks. Yep.

Speaker 1 I think the Lions offense is about to explode. I think we're on explode watch.
Ooh, I like that. We're about to see an explosion.
I like that. We're going going to see.

Speaker 1 I'm going to call, I'm going to call a 45 burger. Oh,

Speaker 1 I like it a lot. I'm taking it.
Panthers defense isn't terrible, but I like that. Yeah.
Maybe some turnovers? I think they're for real, for real. Okay.

Speaker 1 Jake, nerd nugget.

Speaker 6 Through four games, the Lions run defense has given up the fewest rushing yards, 243 in the NFL. It's the fewest rushing yards allowed by them since at least 1945.

Speaker 1 Ooh, okay.

Speaker 1 Next up, Titans Colts, Jonathan Taylor, Taylor Watch. He's back.
21

Speaker 1 days to practice has opened up on Monday, I believe. I think, so we're taping this early because PFT and Jake and Memes are going to D.C.
for the Bears Commanders game.

Speaker 1 I think he's speaking to the media today, so we'll find out a little bit more about where his head's at.

Speaker 1 But everything that Shane Steichen has said feels like Jonathan Taylor, I feel like Jonathan Taylor sat out and was like, let me see how this team is.

Speaker 1 Obviously, he set out for the contract. But now that it's 2-2,

Speaker 1 they look feisty. They look frisky.
yeah, yeah, why not? Look, they put him on the pup list just to buy themselves some time. It's like, maybe in a month, things will cool down.

Speaker 1 You'll have some time to think about it. You'll watch football.
You'll see your guys out there maybe winning a couple games, and then you'll miss playing, so you'll want to come back.

Speaker 1 I don't know when he's going to actually get back on the field,

Speaker 1 but I do know that it has been 1,052 days on Sunday since the Colts have beaten the Titans. Whoa.
Which is so long. So long.
It's so long. It's been over a thousand days since they've won that game.

Speaker 1 So I think even though the Titans stink on the road this year, I think I got to go with the Titans because Derrick Henry looked like Derrick Henry last year.

Speaker 1 You know, like when it cuts to red zone and a team's on their own 25 and you're like, wait, why are they showing this game? There were some like no context Derrick Henry touchdown runs last week.

Speaker 1 75 yards, boom. Yeah,

Speaker 1 this is my witching hour chaos game. Yeah.
No matter what happens in this game, I think we'll be watching it in the witching hour being like, oh my God, it's flipping back and forth.

Speaker 1 Maybe a live bet game. Jake, nerd nugget.

Speaker 6 Anthony Richardson leads the league in explosive play rates, which is a run of 12 plus yards or a pass of 20 plus yards.

Speaker 6 He's averaging six yards a carry and does four explosive runs and four rushing touchdowns. Remember, he's missed time too.
So the fact that he leads the league with explosive plays, he's missed time.

Speaker 1 Pretty sick.

Speaker 1 He's so fun. Hey, how pumped would you be if Anthony Richardson was your quarterback right now? So pumped.
It would be incredible. I mean, I have him offensive rookie of the year.
That's the only.

Speaker 1 CJ might have a word with that. Let's go to that.
Still time. There's still time.

Speaker 6 Also, I love how the NFL.

Speaker 1 What did you say, Max? Pukunakua. Oh, yeah, Pukunakua.
Yeah, that's a good thing.

Speaker 6 I love how there's explosive plays and actual stats. Yeah,

Speaker 1 oh, yeah. There's Havoc plays.
There's all that stuff. They have stats for everything.
All right, Texans, Falcons to finish off the early games.

Speaker 1 Real quick, we did give away the Colts season tickets for this week, right?

Speaker 6 Yes. Congratulations to Jordan and Alyssa.

Speaker 1 What do we have them do? They had video evidence that they attended Jim Ursay's kickoff concert

Speaker 1 and have videos of him singing Lawyers, Guns, and Money on the stage. Oh, hell yes.
Yeah, it's awesome. Okay.

Speaker 1 And then we gave it to four people, right?

Speaker 6 Yeah, they each got a plus one.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay, nice.

Speaker 1 Texans at Falcons. Texans at Falcons.
Desmond Ritter, we've talked about this before, but he is undefeated at home in the NFL and college football, 30-0,

Speaker 1 and he stinks. Yeah.
And we're officially on C.J. Stroud Interception Watch.
Do you think he thinks about that?

Speaker 6 That was the nerd nugget.

Speaker 1 Every time that he drops back to throw a pass, I would be nervous if I had a streak going that long. It's like Jared Goff's streak.
Yeah. Yeah, it's crazy.
So

Speaker 1 I would be thinking about that every time. Like, don't throw a pick, don't throw a pick, don't throw a pick.

Speaker 1 How many passes is he?

Speaker 6 It's the second QB in NFL history to not throw a pick in his first four starts, minimum of 30 attempts. Gardner Mintry, 2019.

Speaker 1 Here's the stat, too. Who are the three quarterbacks, starting quarterbacks, who have not thrown an interception this year?

Speaker 1 Obviously, C.J. Shroud's number one.
Yeah. Kind of surprising when when I saw this.

Speaker 1 Stafford? Nope.

Speaker 1 It is Brock Purdy.

Speaker 6 Josh Dobbs. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Josh Dobbs. Yeah, Brock Purdy.
Brock Purdy, Josh Dobbs, C.J. Stroud, the three quarterbacks who have not thrown an interception.
We talked about Christian McCaffrey MVP watch. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Should we be talking about Brock Purdy MVP watch? Top 10 quarterback. If you look at his stats, people are saying he's a top 10 quarterback.
Brock Purdy has MVP level stats right now. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's all I'm saying. Yeah.
It's been in, I've seen it talked about in the sports world. Brock Purdy, Purdy top 10.
Yep.

Speaker 1 Okay, that was your nerd nugget. All right, great.
So let's move on to the afternoon games. Eagles at Rams.

Speaker 1 Max?

Speaker 1 Big Cat. Are you worried?

Speaker 5 Yeah. I mean, Rams are a good team, decent team.

Speaker 5 If Cooper Cup comes back, that makes me a little bit more worried considering our secondary hasn't been the best this year.

Speaker 5 But I still think the Eagles are better, and they'll probably win a close one, and everyone will say that they suck because they win close games.

Speaker 1 I've launched a nuclear missile. I did this yesterday on the Rams

Speaker 1 season. No, not this weekend.
Just listen. Not this weekend, Matt.
Because you're listening. You are so triggered right now.
I'm not triggered. Yeah, you are.
I'm not triggered.

Speaker 1 Look how pre-triggered. Just be happy with your film, Matt.

Speaker 1 I am happy with my film. You should.
You should be.

Speaker 1 I've launched a nuclear missile on the Rams season win total. It's over seven and a half right now.
I like it. I love it.
Look at their schedule.

Speaker 1 Look at their schedule. They've got two wins already.
They've got two wins already? They play a lot of winnable games for the remainder of the year. It was minus 114.

Speaker 1 It's my biggest bet of the season so far. I reserve a right to make a bigger bet later, but I saw it and I love it.
I love it so much that it probably three home games in a row: Eagles, Cardinals, and

Speaker 1 Steelers. Then they go on the road to the Cowboys and the Packers.
But yeah, they have Cardinals twice, Commanders, Giants, Saints. Yeah, I like this, PFT.
I like this for you. I'm happy for you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, feel free to join. Yeah, feel free to ride.

Speaker 1 I might have to join. Do you think Mike Trout's going to be at this game?

Speaker 1 Yeah. I think he probably will be.

Speaker 1 Well, he might be at the bank.

Speaker 5 He might be at the bank.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he might be at the bank. That'd be so funny if Mike Trout was going to the bank and just screaming his head off for the fightin's.

Speaker 5 I thought there was a chance he was going to throw out the first pitch

Speaker 1 of game one. That would be so funny.
It would have been all time. Have him ring the bell.

Speaker 1 How bad do you think Mike Trout, like when he watches the Phillies games, is like, fuck, I wish I was on the Phillies. I actually think that when is he a free agent again?

Speaker 1 Never. Never.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he'll probably try to do

Speaker 1 a one-day contract to retire as a Philly.

Speaker 1 He's got to be like, oh, man, I wish I was in Philadelphia right now.

Speaker 5 There was a story that when Roy Halliday got traded to the Phillies or signed by the Phillies. Yes.
He called his dad and was like, we got Doc. We got Doc.

Speaker 5 And his dad was like, oh, the Angels got doc? And he's like, no, the Phillies.

Speaker 1 Mike, you play on the Angels.

Speaker 1 All right, nerd nugget for this game.

Speaker 6 DeAndre Swift has produced the second most rushing yards in the NFL with 364 364 behind Christian McCaffrey at 364 rushing yards, the most buying Eagle through four games since LaShawn McCoy in 2013.

Speaker 1 And they pay him, what, like $3 million?

Speaker 7 Pretty good.

Speaker 1 Pretty good. Pretty good.
Pretty good deal for the Eagles. Pretty good.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Next up, Bengals and Cardinals. Joe Burrow has called this a must-win.
It's a must-win. It's a must-win.
It's officially a must-win. I don't see a way that they lose.
They can't lose. They can't lose.

Speaker 1 Well, no, they can. They can lose.
But they just must-win. They must-win, yeah.
Yeah, they must win. That's important.
The Cardinals are wearing their all-black uniforms for the first time ever.

Speaker 1 So it might be a must-win for Arizona, too. Yeah.
You might have a battle of must-wins. I think this is.

Speaker 1 If the Bengals lose this game, their season's over, right?

Speaker 1 I would say, well, I don't want to go all Ryan Clark because Ryan Clark was like, yeah, the Giants, they're done as a team after Monday Night Football. It's still very early in the season.
It is.

Speaker 1 You chose a pinky team? Yeah, it's the Vikings.

Speaker 1 The Bengals have the 49ers and the Bills coming up in late October, early November. So I feel like...
It's a a must-win. Joe's right.
It's a must-win.

Speaker 1 They have to win this game. Apparently, he's feeling healthier than he has all season, so that's good for Joe.
That's relative. It's relative, yeah.
He's still very injured.

Speaker 1 We'll see if the Bengals can score more than three points on the road. And so I did not know this about Josh Dobbs.

Speaker 1 Call me a Josh Dobbs casual, but I did a little bit of background research into him this week. Did you know he was an aerospace engineer at the University of Tennessee? Yeah, they made the shirts.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 The pastronaut. Yes.

Speaker 1 Caleb made those shirts. It was awesome.
He's an aerospace engineer. When he was with the Jaguars, he did an internship at NASA.
Love it. He's a fucking rocket scientist.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And at NASA, he worked with the experimental groups like the Trash to Gas group, where he was taking trash that you accumulate in a spacecraft and converting it to gas power that you can use to power your spacecraft.

Speaker 1 This is just my eating

Speaker 1 Sunday. He was turning trash to gas.
No, he was turning, yeah, trash into gas. Yeah.
And if that doesn't describe the mission that he's on right now with the Arizona Cardinals, I don't know what does.

Speaker 1 It's the fact that he is around trash and he's given them gas. Yeah.
He's given them energy. Yes.
I think it's very, I had no idea that Josh Dobbs was a nerd.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the all-time nickname, the pastor naut. Yeah.
It was great.

Speaker 1 We made sick. He was in a NASA headgear.
We made the whole shirts. It was cool.
So I'm a casual, but a casual no more. The casual no more.

Speaker 1 I'm a... Dobbs fan.
You respect his mind. I do.
Yes. Nerd nugget?

Speaker 6 Yeah, we talked about this earlier, but Josh Dobbs' 123 consecutive pass attempts without a pick this year are the most in franchise history start of season. Wow.

Speaker 1 Wow. Kyler Murray getting a little worried.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. Next up, Jets and Broncos.
Broncos are wearing their snow-capped white helmets that rock. Yeah, they are good.
They look so sick. I have a question for you, PFT, and

Speaker 1 we're obviously taping this early in the morning before the Bears and the Commanders play, and I know that the Bears will make any team look good, but

Speaker 1 is there a chance that Russell Wilson, he's looked better, but he has not played a good defense?

Speaker 1 I was thinking about this. Played the Raiders.
Yeah. Played the Commanders.
The Commanders' defense isn't bad. I mean, they've given up 30 points in three straight games.

Speaker 1 Yeah, on the points factor, they are. Yeah.
But there's a lot more that goes into defense than just how many points you love.

Speaker 1 But it still is like, I don't think the Commanders can be considered a good defense. No, they're not.
They're not. I'm joking.
Yes. The ultimate judge is how many points you give up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we are very bad at at that. Again, you probably look good against the Bears.
So this is going to be, everyone's going to be like, wait, what are you talking about?

Speaker 1 The Commanders held the Bears to 10 points.

Speaker 1 I think the Bears are going to win outright.

Speaker 1 Shock the world. Shocked the world.

Speaker 1 So he played the Raiders, bad defense, Commanders, bad defense. He played the Dolphins bad defense.
And then last week, they played the Bears the worst defense.

Speaker 1 Is there a chance that we see bad Russ here against the Jets defense? We might. It's like one of those things I realized, like, wait,

Speaker 1 in my head i'm like russ has played pretty well this year it's not really his fault it's the broncos defense and then i had a little like bolt of electricity like oh have they not played anyone good on defense yeah they um they might run into a buzz all this week because the jets are gonna be pissed off yeah the jets we got a coach matchup here hackett versus payton revenge game for sean payton's previous comments where he was like that was the worst job coaching i've ever seen the uh the jets are in a position where they need they need a reason to get like fired up to defend their offense's honor every single week.

Speaker 1 So if it's somebody that's like calling Zach Wilson trash or like an opposing player like Willie Gay pretending not to laugh when he's talking about Zach Wilson, that gives them a reason now to go out there and defend their offense's honor.

Speaker 1 Zach Wilson also played pretty good last week. He did.

Speaker 1 But this is a real easy one for the Jets to be like, here is literally what he said about your coach two months ago in an article to a reporter.

Speaker 1 I think the defense for the Jets is going to be fired up. I think it's going to be Russ turning back into that Thursday night football Russ that we saw last year.
Yep.

Speaker 1 I think it's going to be an ugly Russ game. This also is,

Speaker 1 it feels like whoever loses game, their season is officially, officially over. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because one and three to two and three, one and four and two and three is it feels like the biggest difference in terms of how your season's going.

Speaker 1 And the Jets have the Eagles next, and then I think they have a couple of winnable games. So this is salvage time.
Did you hear the interview with Unk and Marshawn Lynch talking about Russell Wilson?

Speaker 1 Yes. Marshawn Lynch did a very good job of trying not to say anything mean about Russ, but then Shannon Sharp kept goading him on and be like, no, tell me more about that.
Tell me more about that.

Speaker 1 And it sounds like Russell Wilson's like the worst teammate ever.

Speaker 1 So Marshawn Lynch told the story, which is very funny, after the interception, he went back to the sideline and Russell Wilson was like, we'll get him next time.

Speaker 1 And Marshawn Lynch was like, what the fuck are you talking about next time, dude? The Super Bowl's over.

Speaker 1 And then Marshawn Lynch said that he took off his helmet and went right into Pete Pete Carroll's face and just laughed in his face and went to the locker room. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Pretty good story. And so after a game where Russ didn't play that well, Marshawn Lynch had 150 yards, two touchdowns.
He wanted to call Russ to be like, hey, man, I know that you're bummed out.

Speaker 1 Like you're supposed to light this team up. I know that you didn't.
Things didn't go the way that you wanted them to go today.

Speaker 1 But just so you know, there will be days where I'm not playing well that you're going to pick me up. He wanted to tell Russ that.

Speaker 1 He didn't have Russ's number, so he had to call their director of PR to give him Russ's number, and instead Russ tried calling him from a blocked number so that Marshawn couldn't even get his number from the call from Russell Wilson.

Speaker 1 It seems like Russ is just a bad hang. Yeah, he's not overall, overall, bad.

Speaker 1 He had some good years in Seattle on the field. I would say Russell Wilson probably the worst hang of any player in the NFL.

Speaker 1 Russell Wilson, I would not want to hang out with him other than maybe like at a Gary Vee convention. Then he'd probably be a pretty good hang.
Well, that would sound like the worst time ever.

Speaker 1 Right, Right, but him, he would fit in well there. He would fit in very well, right? Yeah, Gary Con, no, it's VCon, I think.
I don't know what it is.

Speaker 1 Okay, so next up. Oh, nerd nugget.

Speaker 6 Since week 16 of last year, the Jets have not allowed a second half touchdown.

Speaker 1 Seven straight games, five for the longest of any team since 2000.

Speaker 1 That is fun. That's a good nerd nugget.

Speaker 1 Is there any concern knowing that Russell Wilson likes to high-step all over Jets, though? It's kind of his thing that he does.

Speaker 1 Maybe bet on Russ. Straight games.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Chiefs at Vikings. Chiefs at Vikings.
I'm saying this is a get-right game for Patrick Mahomes. This is a perfect

Speaker 1 everyone. Patrick Mahomes didn't play well on Sunday night, didn't throw for 200 yards.
Zach Wilson outplayed him.

Speaker 1 People do their annual early September, early October, late September. What's wrong with the Chiefs? We're getting into that zone right now.
The Vikings' defense is trash.

Speaker 1 They don't really pressure the quarterback. This is a Mahomes four-touchdown game.
We forget every year, too. We do.
We write the Chiefs off in October every year. Oh, they're not the same.

Speaker 1 The offense stinks. And then we're like later on in the year, oh, yeah, remind me next year not to write the Chiefs off in early October.
It's just we get bored. Yeah, we do.
We get bored.

Speaker 1 So fun fact, the Vikings, they're the only team in the NFL that Patrick Mahomes has never beaten. Ooh.

Speaker 1 And that's because they're the only team in the NFL that Patrick Mahomes has never played against. Oh.
So last time the Chiefs played against the Vikings, it was Matt Moore. Got it.

Speaker 1 I think it's Matt Moore, either that or Henny. It was a backup.
Yeah. One of the backups played that game.

Speaker 1 But yeah, Patrick Momes has never started it against the Vikings, and they're the only team that he's never beaten. So we don't know if he's good yet.
We don't know if Patrick Momes is good yet.

Speaker 1 Did you see Kirk Cousins went to the Twins game?

Speaker 6 Yeah, I bought his own tickets.

Speaker 1 Bought his own tickets. I love Kirk.
Using Game Time. I like him now.

Speaker 1 It's hard. It's like, it's really hard.
Of course. It's hard not to like him.
Yeah, Kirk Cousins is awesome using game time plugged.

Speaker 1 Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if Kirk listened to this podcast just to get the game time code to save $20 off his ticket. Shout out, Kirk.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I do like Kirk now. It was very wholesome.
He just went to the game with his family,

Speaker 1 catch a ball game.

Speaker 1 He said he didn't want to

Speaker 1 ask for any favors because he didn't want to make it a big deal.

Speaker 1 Very cool. He's a great guy.
Kirk Hussain's an awesome person.

Speaker 1 Also, here's a stat for you. After Mahomes throws for fewer than 200 yards in a game, the Chiefs are 10-1 and he's 9-2 against the spread.

Speaker 1 So the get-right game is coming. So we'll talk about Taylor Swift just real quick in the context of this game.

Speaker 1 Careful. I will.
I'll be very careful. The mayor of Minneapolis.

Speaker 1 If you thought that the NFL was simping for Taylor Swift, like changing their bios, changing their headers on social media, making everything about Taylor, first of all, people are like mad that Taylor Swift is on the NFL stuff.

Speaker 1 The NFL sold out the NFL for Taylor Swift in terms of the simping.

Speaker 1 They're straight up saying like, yeah, Taylor, you're bigger.

Speaker 1 If you think that's simping, the Minneapolis mayor is the king of Taylor Swift's simps. He changed the name of Minneapolis, Minnesota to

Speaker 1 was Swiftyapolis

Speaker 1 when she was in town. And now he's begging her to come back for this game.
Oh, no. Like, it's honestly embarrassing.

Speaker 1 If I was in Minnesota, just know that your mayor will sell you out in a heartbeat

Speaker 1 for one night with Taylor Swift inside his city. Yeah.
That's weird. Swiftiapolis.
Swift, yeah. Very weird.

Speaker 1 There was a thought throughout this whole week:

Speaker 1 what if I just bought a ticket to Taylor Schwift's next concert in Argentina and went? I mean, that'd be fun. Yeah, should I do it? Eat some steak.

Speaker 1 There's actually nothing that you couldn't pay me to do that.

Speaker 1 Not the Taylor Schwift concert, the Argentina part. Oh, Argentina would rock.
Don't clip that.

Speaker 1 Okay, Cowboys. Yeah, but a long playing ride during the fall season.
There's 50 days straight of football. Yeah.
Can't do that. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Not only is this Mahomes' first game against the Vikings, but the Chiefs are becoming the 32nd NFL team to play at U.S. Bank Stadium.
They've never played there.

Speaker 6 And Mahomes has beaten Splashy Max. Mahomes has played the other 30 NFL teams and has defeated all but one, the Colts and the Vikings.

Speaker 1 I thought that he had defeated the Colts, too.

Speaker 6 I see 0-2 against Colts.

Speaker 1 Oh, well, then maybe I was wrong with myself. Oh, yeah, because he did lose last year.
Against the Colts. Matt Ryan, one of the weirdest games of the year.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 fact-check that. We'll go to the last game.
Cowboys at Niners, best game. So excited for this game.

Speaker 1 This is a game.

Speaker 1 Regular season. Regular season.
Oh,

Speaker 1 so he has beaten the Colts. Yeah.
Gotcha. Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is a game that

Speaker 1 I'm very curious to see the Cowboys. It's actually for both these teams because the 49ers are 4-0, have wasted everyone.

Speaker 1 You could make the argument they haven't played anyone great, although the Rams are scrappy.

Speaker 1 The Cowboys

Speaker 1 red zone offense is the big bugaboo in Dallas right now. How do we fix the red zone offense? They are third to last in red zone offense.

Speaker 1 They have had 85 red zone trips and only scored seven touchdowns out of that.

Speaker 1 They even, like in a game that they killed the Patriots, they were still struggling in the red zone. And you got it.
Guess what, PFT?

Speaker 1 You can't beat the Niners with field goals. You can't.
No. You can't beat the Niners with the battles.
Not when you got Brock Purdy under center. No, he'll make you pay.

Speaker 1 If If you're kicking for three, Brock Purdy will put seven on you. Brock Purdy's actually the top, the number one quarterback in the entire NFL in yards per attempt.
So

Speaker 1 it's not like he's checking down all the time. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's thrown. He's throwing the football.
It's also a Trey Lance revenge game. So a lot of talk about Trey Lance and whether he's going to be able to give away the 49ers playbook to the Cowboys.

Speaker 1 I don't even think they gave Trey Lance the real playbook. I think they gave him like the third string playbook.
It's like, hey, you have to know what you have to know. You mean the Niners did?

Speaker 1 The Niners gave the Cowboys. What were you saying? No, yeah, the Niners gave Trey Lance the third string, or you think the Cowboys did? No, I think.

Speaker 1 Do you think he'll be able to be a spy for the Cowboys? Or do you think the Niners also gave him the third string? No, I think that

Speaker 1 it's probably a case of both sides playing him as their double agent. Right.

Speaker 1 Where the Niners didn't give him the real plays when he was in San Francisco, and the Cowboys haven't given him the real plays in Dallas. Right.

Speaker 1 And so each side is getting misinformation from each other, and Trey Lance thinks that he's like a super spy right now. Yes, yeah, he's like going to park benches and looking underneath for drops.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but both sides are like, this guy's an idiot. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm so excited for this game. This game is going to fucking rock.
Would you say it's a measuring stick game for the Cowboys? Yeah, I think it's a measuring stick game for both. Okay.

Speaker 1 Because I think the Cowboys, if they win, they are now very much have to be taken for real as a Super Bowl caliber team, like a Super Bowl winning caliber team. They're already probably...

Speaker 1 NFC championship caliber team, but this would be a measuring stick for them in that respect.

Speaker 1 And then if the Niners beat the Cowboys like they've been beating everyone else, they might be just as we might have to go into 17-0 stretch.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, we need to prepare ourselves mentally just in case the Cowboys win, Hank's Cowboys. Yep.
We have to pre-spin zone ourselves into why Dak still sucks. Yes.

Speaker 1 Because, like, I'm not going to say that he's good. I'm just, I don't think I'll ever say that Dak Prescott is good.
He could throw for seven touchdowns in the Super Bowl. I'd be like, still sucks.

Speaker 1 You remember all those interceptions in 2022? Yes. But we got to figure out a way to have have that on deck in case they lose so that we can still be like, Dak sucks.
Yes. Yes.
Maybe

Speaker 1 Trey Lance gave him the plays.

Speaker 1 Trey Lance gave him the plays. Trey Lance.
That's exactly what happened. He gave the Cowboys all the plays.
That's exactly what I did. You're absolutely right.
Okay. Should we do our picks?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, Nerd Nugget. This is actually a cool one.
Is it? All of them. Okay, Jake, don't say that.
Don't diminish it.

Speaker 6 I looked up when I saw it.

Speaker 1 The Nicole's Chiefs one you were incorrect about.

Speaker 6 Well, I just left out some information.

Speaker 6 49ers wide receiver Brandon Ayuk has 17 catches this season. All of those have resulted in either a first down or a touchdown.

Speaker 1 Wow, I like that. That is very cool to change.
Very cool, Jake.

Speaker 1 I think Kittle's going to have a big game. Okay, very cool stat, Jake.
Very cool.

Speaker 1 Let's do our picks. I had a terrible week last week.
Give us the standings, and then we'll go around and do our picks.

Speaker 7 Yeah, so for

Speaker 1 the

Speaker 1 warm-up portion, I'm 5-3.

Speaker 6 Max is 4-4. Memes is 3-5.
So one game separating everyone. And then the main event, Big Cat 4-2-2.

Speaker 6 Hank, four, three, and one, PFC, four, and four. So, all tight.

Speaker 1 Jake's sick, like he's sick.

Speaker 1 You can hear him, right? Like, he is sick. Don't let them shoot.
I don't shame him. I don't know.
We're not sick-shaming him. He's just sick.
You should be sick-shaming him. Yeah, Max is not shaking.

Speaker 1 You've been sick for fucking ever.

Speaker 5 I was just jumping on your defense there, Jake.

Speaker 1 You're a sick shaman.

Speaker 6 No, ever since you said it, it might be in my head, but I'm like, uh, no, it's nasal.

Speaker 1 You made Jake sick. I might have made Jake sick.
I might have, but I was also, maybe I'm actually a hero. Yeah, you're a hero.

Speaker 1 What if it's something way more dangerous than a cold?

Speaker 1 Or allergies.

Speaker 1 What if Jake's like, oh, Big Cat said I was sick, went to the doctor,

Speaker 1 caught the tumor before everyone else?

Speaker 1 Stop. Well,

Speaker 1 you can't rule it out. Big magic, Jake.
What do you ever do? He got AIDS.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying that I look out for my boys. No, Big Cat wants it to be a thing so that you could be like, oh, well, shout out to me if it weren't for me.

Speaker 1 Max, I said, I told your mother that I would go to the doctor with you because I don't think you asked asked the right questions.

Speaker 1 And I also don't think you went to the doctor.

Speaker 1 I think you went to a veterinarian. I really do.
Okay. I think you got dog pills, like Kramer.
The pills aren't doing much. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 And you're eating them in baloney, little, little baloney pieces.

Speaker 1 It's peanut butter. It's peanut butter.
Every day, memes says, sit, Max, and he throws a pill in your mouth. Okay.
So they're all tight.

Speaker 6 All the standings. And then pancakes.
Hank continues to dominate. He has the top two guys in the league.

Speaker 1 Here we go, Hank.

Speaker 6 24 for Hank, Big Cotton and Max of 15, Memes of 10, Me with 7, PFT with 5.

Speaker 1 Okay. And also, just as an update, we, I think, have secured at least.
Just PFT. What's that laugh, Hank? Close.
We're at the finish line.

Speaker 1 We're at the finish line for the Dingers-only punishment, which would be PFT playing against a college team. I'm actually going to throw six outs, right?

Speaker 1 It's only

Speaker 1 two innings. I've been working on my junk.

Speaker 1 I got a sweeper now. Yeah, nice.
You got a nasty sweeper. And then the Mount Rushmore punishment, as soon as the new office opens, we will do that.
I think we have a date, so it'll be a Thursday.

Speaker 1 I completely forgotten about the fact that you have to do isolation chamber. Isolation chamber for 24 hours.
That's awesome. I forgot about that, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're basically going to be in solitary confinement. It's psychological trends.
I mean, that is. I just want everyone to...
Joke of a whatever.

Speaker 1 I mean, we're just going to play a lot of Rock, Paper, Scissors, shoot. Yeah, that's great.
Yeah, whatever you want to do. But I just want to give everyone updates so that...
Was that a threat?

Speaker 1 Did you threaten us with Rock Paper Scissors?

Speaker 1 No, I was about to ask. I was like, can we have cards? Or can we play games? You're going to be like, no.
No, we're going to add something every hour. Like, we're going to toss something in the room.

Speaker 1 Right. It's like in prison when they bring you your meal.
We'll have a cut-out hole in the door. We'll put it in there.

Speaker 5 They're going to make us fight for stuff.

Speaker 7 Yeah, you guys can do like stink bombs. It's going to be like.

Speaker 1 Oh, you know what? We should do it. Why did you stink bombs? We should do stink bombs.
It was a good stink bombs for sure. Good idea.

Speaker 1 We also should just toss in a DVD player and the only DVD on it is the Patriots Eagles Super Bowl. Which one?

Speaker 1 Sure, it could be

Speaker 1 Mystery Super Bowl. We should also just play pornography, and so they have to watch porn together in the room together.
Yeah, you perverts. You have to like sickos.
Yeah. All right.

Speaker 1 Who's up first for the picks? Weirdos. Yo, you're a weirdo.
You're our producer. You can stop any of that.
You've enabled us, Hank.

Speaker 1 What? You can still have the bonk list going?

Speaker 1 Yeah, but it's kind of weird.

Speaker 1 I can't wait till the bonk list comes out, 2023 version. I don't think Hank's done it.
I think he's let the bonk list slide. Jake was supposed to double check.

Speaker 6 Yeah, but you guys haven't said to add anything in a while.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, I haven't said anything this week that was bonkable. Right, Jake.

Speaker 1 You guys say, put it on the list.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Who's up for?

Speaker 6 The thing I'm leading off. Max, you let off last week?

Speaker 1 Last thing I had, Wise had Lauren Boebert, 922. Bitcat says he would watch Tyreek Hill in a porno.
Facts? Did you see Cam Newton came out and said that he's a small dick?

Speaker 1 That was crazy. Bitcat said Jackie's ass was out, and she is a donk on the day of JFK's assassination.

Speaker 1 she's got fucking cake. She was caked up for her.
PFT says Mrs. Met is hot and he knocked it out of the park.
Yeah, I mean, this is. Of course.

Speaker 1 I guess I'm locked. So I guess we're on it with Hank.

Speaker 1 Every time Hank reads the bunk list to us, I'm reminded of how correct we are with our horny picture. PFT wants to see Ricky Fowler stick his throat down Allison Stoke after the Ryder Cup.

Speaker 1 Stick his throat? That's what I gotta say. I think that's it.
All right, well, don't do the whole bunk list right now. No, I'm just saying.
Yeah. It's alive and well.
Okay, all right, good, good.

Speaker 1 All right, go ahead, Jake.

Speaker 6 All right, Lunder, Jaguars, Bills, under 48 and a half.

Speaker 7 Blind.

Speaker 6 I have to stick to the brand. Boo.
Node reasoning behind it. Boo.

Speaker 1 Except the name. All right.
I'm going to go under

Speaker 1 Saints Patriots under 48.5 points. Like I said, neither team has scored 20 points this season.
There are two of the three teams that haven't reached 20 yet, so I'm going to stay on that. Okay.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go Buffalo Bills minus five and a half against the Jags. Okay.
I will take, I will start with my over. I'm going to take Giants, Dolphins over 48.5.
Bounce back game for both offenses.

Speaker 1 Hank, was that, did you say the Lills like the London Bills? Was that what you just did earlier? The Lills. I like that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's good. That's really good.
That's very clever.

Speaker 5 I'm going to take Chiefs, Vikings over 52.5.

Speaker 1 I like it. I like it.
I love it. I love it.
I love it.

Speaker 5 Did anyone take Steelers?

Speaker 1 No. No.
Okay, I will take the Steelers.

Speaker 6 Plus four against the Ravens.

Speaker 5 Plus four against the Ravens.

Speaker 1 Those two teams don't like each other, man. Those two teams don't like each other.
Throw out the record books.

Speaker 5 And memes took my over. Did anyone take Bills Jags over?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Red against Lover.

Speaker 6 You got the Lover. Head to head.

Speaker 1 This is huge.

Speaker 6 I'm going to take Packers minus one

Speaker 6 against the Raiders Monday night.

Speaker 1 I'll talk about that as well.

Speaker 1 I'll take the Jets plus one and a half.

Speaker 1 They're never playing a good defense.

Speaker 1 I will take the, just for the sake of fun, Cowboys 49ers over 44.5.

Speaker 1 Thank you for the fun. You're welcome.

Speaker 1 So, do I do the Lagwars?

Speaker 1 Because I'm thinking about the time zones and I'm thinking about how the Bills are approaching this game.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it.
I'm going to be square. I'm going to respect the Kansas City Chiefs.
Kansas City Chiefs

Speaker 1 home favorite or road favorites minus four.

Speaker 1 Four and a half. Four and a half.
Four and a half. Shit.

Speaker 1 PFT. That hook's going to bite you in the ass.

Speaker 1 We know Patrick Mahomes doesn't care about the spread.

Speaker 1 I don't care.

Speaker 6 And I will close out with a recurring guest, D'Amiko Ryans, and the Texans. Plus two at the Falcons.
All right.

Speaker 1 It sounded like you said Miko. That's what his friends call him.
Yeah, they do. Damiko.
D'Amiko.

Speaker 1 Okay, good picks, boys. I like those picks.
So we're all kind kind of not terrible. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's pretty good. Last year we were so bad.
Yeah, this is, it's good if we can just, you know, a little bit of a ball knowing, be not terrible.

Speaker 1 NFL's hard. 53% as a group.
It's hard to win in this league. Okay.
That's profitable, right?

Speaker 1 Right on the edge. Fantasy fuckboy time.
And then we'll get to our great interview with Sam Morell.

Speaker 1 What's up, you fucking. Hey, what's up? Water pieces of shit.
What'd you call us? Wooder. Wooder.
Wooder.

Speaker 1 Said. My name is Sedin Rocky Rigatone.
Hey, Rocky Rigatone.

Speaker 1 My stardom is the bank. The bank.
The bank. I've never seen a fucking atmosphere like this place.
I'm fucking out of this place. You're not allowed to say this one.

Speaker 1 This is bullshit from you. I'm at the bank.
Rocky rigatone. I don't accept this.
I don't accept this. Fuck that one.
Shut the fuck up.

Speaker 1 Said.

Speaker 1 My sidem. is Justin Thomas and Jordan Speef.
And bums. Bums.
Fuck all those country club kids who talk shit about me.

Speaker 1 That's what Brooks said when people were talking shit about him signing with the live. I don't know why Justin Thomas and Speeth got singled out, but fuck them.

Speaker 1 I saw Max Homer wearing a smashed GC hat the other day. You see that? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Smash him.

Speaker 1 Bum. Knock him out the pod.

Speaker 1 You know, fuck Max Homer?

Speaker 1 Never know. What are you a homosexual? Oh, you never know.
And my sleeper?

Speaker 1 Triple Renegade. Triple Renegade.
Triple Renegade. The Steelers want to win.
They did double renegade a couple weeks ago. They got them the win.

Speaker 1 They're going to do Triple Renegade. That was the TV production truck that played Renegade.
Oh, I sound on the number one sports podcast. And it must be a true.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of things you heard on this show. There's that cute guy with the long hair.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Hey, dickheads. Hey, what's up, you fuck? It's a fuck you.
Hey, fuck you.

Speaker 1 Fuck you. Fuck you.
Fuck you. Fuck you.
Fuck back. Calm down, Marlins, man.

Speaker 1 No, he never. He never would.
Never would.

Speaker 1 Never would. What's up, dickheads? It's me, Commander Biden.
I'm back in the news.

Speaker 1 i'm a dog uh i uh i bit i bit way more people than they reported turns out they did a good job keeping it under wrap but they kicked me out so i got no home i'm uh my start my stardom is hunter hunter biden because i ate a bunch of his crack and that's what made me go insane

Speaker 1 uh i'm my i'm sitting uh because i'm a good boy i know how to sit they taught me that trick so i'm sitting and then my sleeper this week my sleeper is the jaguars i'm taking the jaguars as a sleeper pretty good because i don't trust the jet lag that they're doing sean mcdarot he doesn't he takes cat naps i'm a dog.

Speaker 1 I need longer naps than that. You didn't even pick him in the picks.
You didn't. I didn't coward.

Speaker 1 No, no, this is Commander Biden. You're talking about that pussy PFT.

Speaker 1 Go commies.

Speaker 1 I'm a commander and a commie. Both.
What's up, you fucks? It's Frankie Fettuccine.

Speaker 1 My stardom is Jets. Sometimes you like to go to a game and watch the Jets play.
That way that Google pushes down all the stories about your Jets and missions. It's good to know that.

Speaker 1 I'm not talking about anyone specifically, but

Speaker 1 if you ever have a chance to go to a game and everyone's giving you shit for your jet submission, make sure it's a jets game. Make sure everyone writes jets in the headline.

Speaker 1 And when you Google blank jets, it just says

Speaker 1 he or she went to a jets game.

Speaker 1 It's like when that sick fuck Walt Disney made that movie Frozen, so that people, when they Googled, is Walt Disney's head frozen, the first thing that came up is the movie that he made.

Speaker 1 Yeah, my sit him is... He's a Nazi.
My sit him is Jalen Brown. He can't triple with his left.
It's tough. That clip was tough.
It's very tough. Oh,

Speaker 1 my sleeper is Patrick Mahomes. Don't sleep on this guy.
I think he's going to have a bounce back game. People say he stinks.
I don't think he stinks. I think Patrick Mahomes has next.

Speaker 1 Next. Next up.
Okay. Do you want to talk about the Jalen Brown crew?

Speaker 1 How do the Celtics put that out? I think it was like a, I think Jalen Brown was in on it. No check.
Oh, you think it was a setup? Yeah. Oh, I like that.
I like that theory, Hank. That was so funny.

Speaker 1 That was so funny. That was fun.
It had to have been fake. Like, there's no way.
Okay.

Speaker 1 This is, again, sad levels of cope if you're not right.

Speaker 1 But I believe it. I kind of believe it now.

Speaker 1 It's better than the alternative of, like, the Celtics just don't realize that he can't dribble with his left and somehow got a a video of him dribbling not with his left.

Speaker 1 It's like when the Sixers PR accidentally put or was it the Nets that put out that clip where Ben Simmons was in the background missing like a three-foot shot. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then that guy got fired for putting that clip. But you got to be be smarter than that if you're the

Speaker 1 Twitter account manager for the Celtics. But if it was a joke and if it was like a big troll, great job.
Great work. You deserve a raise.
Great work.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's get to our interview. Got a great interview with comedian Sam Morell.
Awesome dude. Came, changed his travel plans because he wanted to come on the show.

Speaker 1 Sports fan, great dude. So must listen.

Speaker 9 The pro football football show is presented by the Chevy Silverado. Built for the hustle, ready for the game.
Chevy Silverado is America's most dependable full-size truck.

Speaker 9 Whether you're grinding through the week or gearing up for kickoff, the Silverado is one ride that's always game ready. Just like football, it's about grit, grind, and getting it done.

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Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special comedian is Sam Murrell. Thanks, man.
Very special guest, very special comedian. He's on tour right now.
Very funny guy.

Speaker 1 We actually have both done podcasts with Sam before. Yep.
You can check out his podcast,

Speaker 1 Games with Names.

Speaker 7 I don't know if I'm coming back on that one.

Speaker 1 Oh, you aren't?

Speaker 7 Well, it was like, maybe he's going to keep doing it. I still love Julian.
We're still cool. But

Speaker 7 it's like they need to do it in LA, and I can't. I'm on the road every week.
I can't do this.

Speaker 1 Sounds like you got fired from it. Shit.
Who's the replay? That was an awkward start to the interview.

Speaker 1 Hopefully, I mean, hopefully, like a football player or someone.

Speaker 7 Hopefully, it's not another comedian.

Speaker 1 That would hurt. Oh, that would suck so bad if it was just like the LA version of you.

Speaker 7 Just like Santino or something.

Speaker 1 That'd be a bummer. Oh, no.
Okay, well, we got to make sure that doesn't happen. But yeah, that was, we both spent

Speaker 1 a couple hours with you. That was a lot of fun.
That was, well, it was a lot of fun. I don't know if you're doing it anymore, but that was.

Speaker 7 I love Julian.

Speaker 7 He is the only person I know who sends me voice memo texts all the time.

Speaker 1 It's all the time.

Speaker 7 It's some LA bullshit.

Speaker 1 I think it's an athlete thing. I think it's like you don't want to leave any sort of evidence as to what you have ever said to anybody.
So you can't screenshot a voice memo.

Speaker 1 He'll also also do, he does voice memos, I think, to both of us, but he'll listen to our show and then voice memo and be like, this is why you're wrong about this. And like give us notes on the show.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit. Yeah.
Yeah. He'll be like, your take is wrong.
Here's why. Damn.
Voice memo us.

Speaker 7 Yeah, he's, I mean, he would, he knows his shit. He played.

Speaker 1 Yeah. He usually gets mad at Hank, but it's because he expects so much from our producer, Hank.

Speaker 1 Like, anytime we bring up the Patriots, if Hank doesn't do an adequate job defending Julian Edelman and the Patriots, Julian will be like, Yo, you got to talk to Hank. You got to talk to Hank.

Speaker 1 He's bad. I need more out of him.

Speaker 7 He was nervous with you guys. He was like, They're so good.

Speaker 7 I don't want to, I don't want to. You guys, or like, if it was a stand-up, I'd bring on athletes.
He, I mean, I'm the nervous with the athletes, right? I'm like, holy shit, Kurt Warner hates my guts.

Speaker 1 Oh, well, Kurt Warner's a grumpy guy.

Speaker 7 I can't stop making jack-off jokes to him because I know it's going to make him uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 And I just kept doing it. And he was like, just looking at me like, no, no, he definitely jacks off.
Yeah. Yeah, but with gloves, probably.
Yeah. He's probably got his old gloves on.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Kurt is a big dome guy. He's like, football should never be played in the elements.
So he gets very grumpy with that online.

Speaker 7 He's a grumpy guy. Yeah.

Speaker 7 Not my type of dude.

Speaker 1 No. So, all right.
So meeting all those athletes, who was your favorite one that you got to interview?

Speaker 7 Eli was awesome. I'm a Giants fan.
So Eli's, the Mannings are just great.

Speaker 1 So I'm wondering this because I feel like we obviously were living in New York for seven years. We were around a lot of Giants fans, worked with a lot of Giants fans.
For you're what, 37? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 you're our age.

Speaker 1 For Giants fans under 40, is Eli just like a god?

Speaker 7 Yeah. I mean, anytime they compare Daniel Jones, I'm like, Eli had a fucking arm.
Right. What are you talking about comparing Daniel Jones?

Speaker 7 Jones actually plays like the way racists talk about black quarterbacks.

Speaker 1 All he can do is run.

Speaker 7 It's weird to see a white dude. I'm like, oh, that's like, this is weird to watch.
I have a hard time watching him.

Speaker 7 This is the point. I have a hard time watching Daniel Jones.
He was at the comedy cellar one night, and I was like, I don't even care.

Speaker 1 Oh, no.

Speaker 7 That's a bad level that he's my starting quarterback for my team.

Speaker 1 I didn't care.

Speaker 7 Eli, I was nervous. I love Eli.
Yeah. And I loved him through the bullshit, too, because I, you know, I mean, who did we have before? Carrie Collins? Right.

Speaker 7 You know, we just never, and we, Kurt Warner.

Speaker 1 Kurt Warner, right? But it's funny because we outside of New York think of Eli as kind of like a running joke just because he is funny.

Speaker 1 Like, he obviously, the two playoffs, the two Super Bowl wins, incredible. Played out of his mind.
But the Manning face and just his look on Sunday night,

Speaker 1 it's etched in my brain Eli Manning's like open-mouth look against the Cowboys on Sunday night football. And then when you talk to Giants fans of a certain age group, they're like, Eli's our goat.

Speaker 1 Like he is.

Speaker 7 We love him. Yeah.
I mean, because he won twice. It's insane.
To beat Brady twice is the most insane.

Speaker 7 It's insane that Brady should have, what, nine Super Bowls?

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 7 I know. That's insane that Eli.
And also, Eli was just money in the playoffs. I mean, we had great players, but Amani Toomer was clutch.
Burris was clutch. Brandon Jacobs.

Speaker 1 The entire defensive line. I also love that Eli has the bragging rights over Brady way more than his brother does.
I know.

Speaker 1 So even though, like, Peyton Manning, much better quarterback than Eli, at the end of the day, the two brothers, like, this dude actually beat the GOAT twice.

Speaker 7 It's insane. I remember the second time I was like, well, we're not going to, to, it's not going to happen again.

Speaker 7 I was watching with Boston fans, and I was just like, I don't know why I did this to myself. And by the end of the game, that Manningham catch, I was like, are you fucking kidding me?

Speaker 1 That might be one of the best pass catches in Super Bowl history. He dropped it in a bucket.

Speaker 1 I also think that towards the end of his career, especially when he was teamed up, it was like McAu and Eli, and the cameras would just cut back and forth between Eli's dumb face and McAdoo's dumb face.

Speaker 1 It was like the height of comedy as a football fan. And you kind of lose perspective of, oh, yeah, well, this guy actually had two of the most clutch performances of all time in the Super Bowl.

Speaker 7 Yeah, and it wasn't just a Super Bowl. I mean, he would go through good teams to get, I mean, we went through like, you know, the Packers in Lambeau.
We went through, you know, Dallas.

Speaker 7 I mean, Romo famously choked constantly, but, you know, Eli was, and look, the defense was insane, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. All right.
So your comedy is fantastic. Thank you.
You've been doing it for a while now. And you're, are you at a, like, I'm starting to blow up point?

Speaker 1 Because I'm always curious about comedians. There's so many really great comedians, and for some, some don't, it never happens.
But then when you watch it happen, it's like, this is awesome.

Speaker 1 This guy's really funny. He's finally getting everything he deserves.

Speaker 7 You know,

Speaker 7 you stay humble because you get humbled so easily. Right.
Yeah. I'll get a taste of like, holy shit, Chicago theater.
This is epic. But, you know,

Speaker 7 you never can, something will always happen to keep you down here. There's nothing.
I remember I used to tour, I used to open for Amy Schumer like years ago, and it was on her arena tour.

Speaker 7 So it would be like, I'd be opening an arena. This isn't, this doesn't belong to me.
This is Amy's tour. But you start to feel it.
Like, holy shit.

Speaker 7 I'm looking at Kyle Lowry's face in Toronto, and then I'm doing jokes.

Speaker 7 And then the next night you're in the village lantern and, you know, in the West Village for seven grumpy people.

Speaker 7 So it's like, it's the weirdest turnaround.

Speaker 7 But yeah, but now it's my tour and it's, yeah, you get taste.

Speaker 7 But then also every once in a while, like certain cities just suck for comedy.

Speaker 1 Oh, tell us. Miami's tough.
I've heard Miami's the worst.

Speaker 7 Miami's tough. And

Speaker 7 geez, it's like, I was in like some shitty like old school venue. It was like Fontaine Blue.
Yeah. It's like they're like, this is where Sinatra performed.
I'm like, cool.

Speaker 7 You haven't renovated it since then.

Speaker 1 It looks like shit.

Speaker 7 You know, so that was brutal. They don't care.
Like, you want like working class, like Orlando or Tampa people. You don't want Miami where they like, they're vapid.

Speaker 1 They suck. That's what Big Jay Oakerson said.
He said, Ohio is the best place to do comedy.

Speaker 7 Ohio is good. Columbus is great.
Cleveland's great. Yeah.

Speaker 7 Cincinnati. Yeah, they're like real people.
That's right. You want people with like jobs who have to think.
I mean, Miami people, it's like they post pictures of their ass for like a living.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You don't want to like it.

Speaker 1 That's not like a comedy crowd. Yeah.
They're the type of people that would go to a show and get real pissed off. They got made fun of.
If a committee was doing crowd work. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't want to expose myself to that. That would really hurt my Instagram.
Yeah, don't, yeah, don't make fun of my plastic service. Yeah.
It looks for a lot of money on this. Yeah.

Speaker 7 Yeah, you want to, it was just a bad gig. It was a bad venue.
But yeah, certain Vegas can be tough, but also Vegas can be really fun.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 7 The Vegas locals are awesome. Yeah.
It's like the transplants, the people that are like passing through are tough.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's a weird move too, to go to Las Vegas and then go to a comedy show.

Speaker 7 I know. Like I'm going up against like a Dele.

Speaker 1 I'm like, why me?

Speaker 1 It's also when you're in Vegas, one of the weird parts about being in Vegas is you're surrounded by a bunch of people who in their head, they're walking around being like, I have to have the best time of my life.

Speaker 1 I know. So whenever there's something that isn't the best time of their life, they're like, I'm wasting Vegas.

Speaker 1 It's a New Year's energy. It's expectation.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 Year-round New Year's energy. It's tough.
Right. And I feel that way too.
I'm like, I better fucking, this better be great. And then you're crushed.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So when you're, when you're opening for Amy Schumer, or if you're serving as the opening, do you like tailor your jokes based on like, hey, this audience is an Amy audience.

Speaker 1 I don't know if they're going to like certain things that I say. No, I don't.

Speaker 7 Do your thing. Unless they'd say, don't do that.
I remember I was opening for Aziz once years ago. It was like right when the Me Me Too stuff happened.
And I did like 15 minutes of Me Too jokes.

Speaker 7 And he was like, hey, can you not do that?

Speaker 1 And I was like, yeah, that's a fair note. In retrospect, like the Me Too thing with Aziz,

Speaker 1 that was some bullshit, wasn't it? Yeah. Like he had a bad day.
It was published on Babe.net.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 7 This wasn't exactly a legitimate news source taking him down.

Speaker 1 He had an awkward hookup one night. Yeah.
It's hard to separate. There were some good things that obviously happened because there were some real fucking scumbags that got brought to the light.

Speaker 1 But then you think of like, remember, there was like an Excel sheet that, like, was like, and he said, these are bad people. And it's like, wait, what?

Speaker 1 You can't just like anonymously just submitting bad people to an Excel sheet.

Speaker 7 The bad people are the ones that usually stay down. Right.
You know, it's like, because they don't have anyone being like, nah, he's cool. Right.
You know, right.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 We got Weinstein.

Speaker 7 Well, he was, that was an exception. I liked him.

Speaker 1 I'll do that.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. So I always am curious of this.
Comedians, for the most part, I feel like aren't the biggest sports fans. I love sports.
Yeah, no, it's like, it's like you and Shane, Gillis, and Joe List.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Joe List.

Speaker 7 Bill Burr is obviously.

Speaker 1 Yes, Bill Burr is a huge, huge sports fan. But do you feel like, I don't understand it, there's a lot of comedians that just don't care about sports.

Speaker 1 Do you feel like the odd man out when it comes to it?

Speaker 1 Because we have a bunch of comedians on and there's some that we can talk sports, like you we can talk sports with, but there's a lot that like they don't even watch it because they're just on the road or whatever.

Speaker 7 For me, that's like why, I mean, if I'm, you know, when you're doing club weekends starting out as a comic, it's Thursday through Saturday.

Speaker 7 So I get off stage, I get TNT late game inside the NBA, the best show on TV. So, no, I need it on the road.
It's like I'm itching for basketball season.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so you're a Knicks fan, obviously. Huge Knicks fan.

Speaker 1 Have you gotten kicked out of MSG yet? Are you on James Dolan's shit list?

Speaker 7 No, I'm playing MSG Theater November 4th. So

Speaker 7 I'm going to stay on his good side.

Speaker 1 All right, so we're going to say good things about James Dolan right now. Being with us right now might get you kicked off.
Really? We're not allowed there.

Speaker 1 What? Yeah.

Speaker 7 I was at the Oakley game with Michelle Wolf. Okay.
That was a tough one. I've been to some rough ones.
I was at Stavros and I were at the game where

Speaker 7 fucking Porzingis tours ACL.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. Yeah, we should have mentioned Stav in the sports fans.

Speaker 1 Huge sports guy.

Speaker 7 Yeah, Stav and I

Speaker 7 went to the Liberty game the other night.

Speaker 7 We're a huge basketball guy. They got next.
They're fucking awesome.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you go up on the Jumbotron?

Speaker 7 They put me on to just zero applause.

Speaker 7 Some lesbian artist went on before me and it brought the house down. And then they're like, here's a guy, here's a comedian.

Speaker 1 And everyone's like, who?

Speaker 1 Who gives.

Speaker 7 And Stav got recognized as the fat dude from the bear.

Speaker 1 I was like, that's not him. That's not who Stav versus.

Speaker 1 They were.

Speaker 1 I could see Stav going on the Jumbotron at a WNBA game. He does like the pussy thing.

Speaker 7 No, we want to stay on their good side at Barclays because they got Carbone down there.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Get that true.

Speaker 7 Get that spicy rigatoni. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So the Knicks, it's funny because we, like I said, we lived in New York for seven years.

Speaker 1 I didn't fully understand it until this last year, year and a half, where I was like, oh, yeah, like the Knicks do kind of run this city when they're good.

Speaker 1 It's been a long time, though.

Speaker 7 Are you? I'm in, though. This team, man, like, we're just a piece away.
I love Jalen Brunson so fucking much. He's the best.

Speaker 1 He's so New York, even though he's not New York.

Speaker 7 Exactly. His energy is just like chill.

Speaker 7 He's a floor general.

Speaker 7 right i love him uh randall's getting killed for just he just has got to be better in the playoffs but i think he really was hurt this time it's just sometimes we get it's body language for new york right like when he's kind of moping we're like we don't respond to that you gotta like look at jimmy butler you never see that dude mope right

Speaker 7 yeah tibbs you like tibbs yeah he's great i mean he's he's another like that dude's never fucked a woman without like paying for it clearly like

Speaker 7 and and i mean that because he's not putting in the work

Speaker 7 He's watching game tape and then he's like, oh, fuck a hooker or something.

Speaker 7 He's so committed to just basketball. I feel like he has no life at all.

Speaker 1 It's just transactional. It's like us for eating lunch.
He's like, okay, I got 20 bucks in my pocket or I can get a Hummer real quick. Get that.

Speaker 1 He looks at Cumming as being like an impedance to his work life. Exactly.

Speaker 7 It's like the pop thing. You think Greg Popvich wants to go on a fucking date? No.

Speaker 7 I mean,

Speaker 7 he's just all basketball. So, yeah, I love Tibbs.
He's part of of that 90s culture, you know, with Van Gundy and all those guys. So, yeah, I love, I love this team.
I love the young guys.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Tibbs is, he's,

Speaker 1 I just envision every night Tibbs that's not, he's not coaching basketball. He's just sitting with like an old low main carton and like pointing to the TV like, I found something.

Speaker 1 Like, I found a hole in this defense. Like, I got it.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 7 Yeah, no, I love him.

Speaker 7 I'm not really intimidated by a lot of the, I mean, I guess the Sixers have nurse now, but I don't trust Philly. I don't, I mean, Hardin is just Max is a Philly guy.
I'm sorry, dude.

Speaker 7 Yeah, Hardin is just like, he just bugs me at this point. He just like...
He sucks. I don't like...
He's in shape now, though, which is like what you, he actually got it finally right.

Speaker 7 What you do when you want to get a new team is you don't get fat.

Speaker 1 It's like the end of a

Speaker 7 end of a relationship. You don't fucking let yourself go when you're looking for a new suitor.

Speaker 1 That's not how you do it.

Speaker 7 But he always gets fat as shit. And I'm like, no, you get ripped.
Yeah. So you can get moved.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 At this point, my theory on Harden is that I don't think he wants to win the playoffs. No.
I think he looks at like the extended playoff season as being like, okay, well, now I'm not on vacation.

Speaker 1 Now I'm not eating. Now I'm not going to strip clubs.

Speaker 1 And it actually kind of makes sense from if you're not like a super competitive person, if you don't give a shit about rings, yeah, why do you want to do more work for less money?

Speaker 1 You don't even get paid as much if you're Harden. Let's just get out of here.
It's been a long year. It's summer.

Speaker 7 He doesn't care about legacy the way it seems a guy like Dame does.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 Dame wants that. It's funny for years.
Dame is all about like, you know, it's like,

Speaker 7 I'm staying here. And then the second they just are like, they clearly don't give a shit about when now, he's like, get me the fuck.
He just became, he, that was the biggest 180 I've ever seen.

Speaker 1 Well, Dame, it felt like, was the last guy in the world to realize that franchises don't care. Yeah.
Like he was like, oh, shit. They don't actually care about Bricks.
Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 Building a contender around me.

Speaker 7 I'm furious that happened because I'm still, I still think Giannis is going to end up on the Knicks.

Speaker 1 Oh, so are you, so are you one of those Knicks fans that every player, you're like, no, not everybody?

Speaker 7 I did Giannis's benefit. I did, I performed at his benefit, got a fucking applause break from Mayor Adams on a Magic Johnson AIDS joke, which I was like, someone fucking get that on camera.

Speaker 7 That was, that was epic. But,

Speaker 7 but, uh, yeah, I did his benefit. I talked to him.
I tried to get Stop to go. It's his favorite player ever.
Ever, yeah. So, Stop, I'm like, dude, just, it's at the rainbow room.

Speaker 7 Just like wear a suit or something. And he's like, I don't have any nice clothes.

Speaker 7 I was like, you're a fucking millionaire. You don't have one dress shirt.

Speaker 1 You can't get like one. And he's like, I can't.

Speaker 7 I'm sorry. But then I sent him a video with Giannis and he was so fucking upset.

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 7 But I asked him, because Giannis, after the benefit, was like, you a Bucs fan? I was like, fuck the Bucs. I'm a Knicks fan.
I said, I respect your team. I like your players.

Speaker 7 I like Holiday and Portis and all those guys. But no, I'm a Knicks fan.
He goes, well, you never know where I end up.

Speaker 1 Next free agency.

Speaker 7 And his brother kind of was like nodding. They want to be in New York.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 But now it's like they can't because they got damed. So you don't have the excuse.

Speaker 7 But they lack the depth now. So say there is an injury.
I'm not hoping for an injury. That's horrible.
But, you know, Middleton, that guy has not stayed healthy.

Speaker 7 He's a great player when he's healthy, but I don't, it's hard to root against as a basketball fan because I love both those players. But I think I think we still have a shot.

Speaker 1 Are you a Yankees fan too? I am. Okay, yeah, because that's like a very Yankees fan behavior.

Speaker 1 Any good player, they're like pinstripes three years.

Speaker 7 It's different. No, it's different, though, because the Yankees fan is out of arrogance and the Knicks fan is out of desperation.
Right.

Speaker 7 Because we never get the guy. Right.
We never get the first. When's the last time we got a first overall pick? Ewing?

Speaker 1 Yeah. And also, like, I feel like Instagram kind of ruined the allure of like going to New York because it used to be like, well, in the 80s, 90s, like, hey, we got to go to New York.

Speaker 1 That's where all the women are, the hot women. You know, like, there's a ton of people.
Now it's like, well, you can find hot women anywhere. Anywhere.
Well, you could get them to fly to you.

Speaker 1 That's true. You could find them online and then be like, hey, why don't you come on over to Indiana? I think there are hot women everywhere.

Speaker 7 There are, but the flying the women out is a roll of the dice.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 7 Who are you fucking Bukowski?

Speaker 1 I think it happens a lot. Flying them out? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 7 What if you don't, what if they look off? What if the pictures are off?

Speaker 1 I think you have a buffer, a middleman. That's what LeBron promises.
Talent Scout, yeah. Probably.
Yeah. You just have someone like meet him before you meet him.
Maybe. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like a above-board Jeffrey Epstein. Right.
Like

Speaker 1 if he wasn't a pedophile. He's just taking down your information in case there's an emergency.

Speaker 7 That is, I guess that's how you do it. That would stress me out, though, just on the road with

Speaker 1 me. It would be the worst because you'd be like, all right, now can you leave? Like, I want my own room.
That's why Tibbs has it right. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 That's how you have to do it, I think, if you're a pro. I think you can't just, because you're putting in any work.
Any small talk, you're like, you're cutting into, now I get five hours of sleep.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 7 Now I'm tired for practice. Right.

Speaker 1 Now you got to leave. Yeah.
So think Eli was flying women out? I don't think so. I don't think so either.

Speaker 1 Eli feels like Eli would probably bum me out if any controversy came out about him because he does feel like wholesome. Yeah.
He is very wholesome.

Speaker 1 There was that one time where the Giants equipment manager was like taking helmets and throwing them down the stairs and then taking them and be like, yeah, these are game worn. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then selling them online. They got a little bit of trouble for that.

Speaker 1 But that's such a funny move for the equipment manager just to like take a bunch of shit and just beat the hell out of it and be like, yeah, this happened in an NFL game. Now it's worth $300,000.

Speaker 7 Isn't that what John Andres got canned for with the Knicks?

Speaker 1 Yeah, and then there was also, didn't Strahan have something weird happen? Strahan had, didn't he have, he had like something stolen from him, like his

Speaker 1 like a Hall of Fame jacket? Yeah, but then he was like, it wasn't. He got it back.
Yeah, that was weird. Yeah, memorabilia in New York Athletes.
Something weird's going on.

Speaker 1 Someone's got to look into that. Yeah.
Someone's got to dig into that.

Speaker 1 I don't want this to come across the wrong way, but I have a question about comedians' lifestyles.

Speaker 7 Sure.

Speaker 1 When you do start making money, is there a part of you that feels like a sellout where you're like, as a comedian, I should be living in like a shitty apartment and like nothing in my refrigerator and like, you know, a little box TV in the corner?

Speaker 1 Because that's where comedy comes from.

Speaker 7 I do think that

Speaker 7 with struggle comes material for sure. Yeah, there is a problem.
But the good thing about New York is even if you're making a lot of money, you're still kind of living in a shithole.

Speaker 1 You're still kind of pissed off all the time.

Speaker 7 Yeah. I mean, I've been living in.
this apartment for the last year. There is Section 11 drilling on my window.
Okay. It's been, I can't be home.
So I'm in a constant state of irritation.

Speaker 7 There's, you know, fedinal heads running around the neighborhood, even in nice neighborhoods. I think New York keeps you cranky.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. That's a good answer because I do, it's kind of like in music, like the first album's always the best because that's the rise and the struggle.

Speaker 7 Yeah, with comedy, usually you put your first special out like after a long, it should be a long time.

Speaker 1 How long was it for you? Probably 10 years. Wow.

Speaker 7 And then I put out one usually every couple years now.

Speaker 1 So what was it for 10 years you're like, I'm not ready? I'm not ready.

Speaker 7 Yeah, it's tough. And then one comic finally convinced me.
He's like, you're scared. You're scared to like let go of it.
And he was right. So I let it go.

Speaker 7 And then, and then you have to start from scratch as a nobody.

Speaker 7 That's the hard part is when you're doing these papered rooms, free tickets on, you know, Syracuse, funnybone, whatever, and they're not there to see you.

Speaker 7 So they don't give a fuck about you or respect you. And they have no financial investment.
And you have to do new material and build.

Speaker 7 Like that process is not easy for people who don't give a shit about you. So, so that was, that's the hardest hour for me, the second hour.

Speaker 1 What about, so when you were deciding to do your special, was part of it like you didn't want, is there something in the in the comedian world where like you can't have a special too early?

Speaker 1 Cause then it's like, this guy thinks he's a hot shot.

Speaker 7 I mean,

Speaker 7 maybe, but also just more for me. I was like, I just don't want people to think, I don't want the first taste of me for people to get to be like, ugh.

Speaker 1 I'm fascinated with the comedy world and all the comics, like friends, enemies. Like, I've always said that if there was a woge of the comedy world, it would be incredible.
The shade room for comedy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'd be like, Sam Murrell saw this guy the other night and they had beef. And, like, shit.

Speaker 7 I think they do have that, but it's just no one gives a shit.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. Like, maybe more off.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I think, like, in sports, you're like, holy shit, dame. But no one gives a fuck about me and Stav.
So, yeah.

Speaker 1 If this is like the Marin podcast and he's like, who are your guys? Who would your guys be?

Speaker 7 Well, starting out, you know,

Speaker 7 like all the obvious, like Chris Rock was huge for me, David.

Speaker 1 Dave Hattel is so funny.

Speaker 1 And I feel like the next generation does not understand how funny, how naturally funny that guy is because he hasn't had, I don't know, maybe you can correct me, but like when I was growing up, he was all over Comedy Central doing every show.

Speaker 1 Insomniac was fucking hilarious, and he would just go out at night. But I feel like he hasn't had that same staying power, or at least I haven't seen him as much recently.

Speaker 1 But to me, he's one of the greatest comedians ever.

Speaker 7 Well, he's got a new special in the can, and so we'll see where he puts it out. But yeah, he did one a few years ago with Jeff Ross.
It was really funny. But

Speaker 7 yeah, Dave, he doesn't release a lot into the world, and I don't think he's like an internet guy, but any comic knows that Dave is like, you know, a comedy Jedi, he's a genius.

Speaker 7 He used to take me out to open for him, and you're just like learning so much watching him, you know, how he handles a crowd. He would bring me out on stage at the end of Riff with me.

Speaker 7 And as a young comic, you're like, this is fucking unfair. Yeah.
Like, you feel like you're literally playing like one-on-one with Jordan because he just, he just finds the angles before anybody.

Speaker 7 He's so quick. I remember we were leaving Terrytown Music Hall once and he's driving me back.
And he was like, man, he just hates his act. He's like, all these comics have this self-esteem.

Speaker 7 And he hates his act. And he's leaving.
He's like, I fucking suck. I'm a hack.
And I said, you're all of our favorite comics. And he goes, well, I'm better than you guys.

Speaker 1 That's great. So, who are your guys now, though? Who's your, like, who's your guys?

Speaker 7 My friends are my guys. I mean, like, you know, Stavros, Mark Normand, Normand, I do a podcast with Mark, and I, we're open micers together.
Mark is so funny. Joe List,

Speaker 7 you know, that's like my,

Speaker 7 Rachel Feinstein's a really close friend of mine. Those are like, that's like my

Speaker 7 Gary Vider, I do the road with. We're super tight.
You know, that's my, that's like my crew of comics, kind of. I guess that's like my, my group.

Speaker 1 Julian, Julian Edelman.

Speaker 1 Julian. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's tried to be a comic before. He's had a comic.
Well, he had some sketch comedy videos that he put out. Burger time.
Burger time.

Speaker 7 Oh, I haven't seen that. You got to watch Burger Time.

Speaker 1 I'll watch it.

Speaker 7 Dude, he was funny. He's a funny guy.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 7 I love the guy.

Speaker 1 I think his body's too good to be a comedian. You can't have a six-pack.
That's true. Is there any comedian out there that you respect in terms of their comedy, but is like shredded up?

Speaker 7 It's tough.

Speaker 7 Because as you said, like...

Speaker 7 The more good shit you have, the more it's taken away from how funny you are.

Speaker 7 Remember that season on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia when Mac just got fat as shit?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 It's undeniable. He was just funnier.

Speaker 7 The grosser you are, it is.

Speaker 7 I'm not saying you should get fat to be funny, but like there is a line where, yeah, the more because you're alienating dudes, I think, the better you look.

Speaker 1 Now you're a threat.

Speaker 1 Isn't there like some really hot comedian that's blowing up right now? Matt Rife is very threatening.

Speaker 1 Very good. Yeah, because it is.
I think there's just a

Speaker 1 natural world, like world order where it's like, hot guys shouldn't be funny guys because then you have it all.

Speaker 7 I mean, yeah, I think there's people make rules, but you know, I mean, whatever, like, who makes the line?

Speaker 7 Like, I guess some people are like bugged, but when you know, I have friends who are like, well, Ryan Reynolds is funny, but he's not like comedian, comedian, funny.

Speaker 7 You know, people try to make rules, but I'm like, I don't know, Deadpool's pretty funny.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, it's like when people say athlete funny, they're like, oh, yeah, he's athlete.
That's what

Speaker 1 Blake Griffin is. Blake Griffin is.
Blake Griffin. He's tall.
He used to be able to dunk, and he's hilarious. Yeah.
That's the ultimate three right there. Yeah.

Speaker 7 Yeah, and he's a cool dude.

Speaker 1 He's a very cool guy. Yeah, he's what? How many times did you won Blake of the Year? Two times? Two times Blake Blake winner on this show.
Yeah, so it's pretty big stuff. It's pretty high territory.

Speaker 1 Okay, so

Speaker 1 you're on the road. You're doing a whole tour.
How long is this tour? That's the other thing I don't understand about comedians.

Speaker 1 Maybe this is just like a Tom Skurr Burt deal who we're friends with, but like their tours never end. I don't understand.
Yeah, me neither.

Speaker 7 I just, you know, I did this for so many years when it was awful that now people are like, you're on the road a lot. I'm like, yeah, but it's good now.
Right, it's fun.

Speaker 7 You know, it's like, yeah, I did it when it was, I did it when I was in like a crackhead in.

Speaker 7 I didn't realize how bad the places I was getting put up were until I had a female comic. I was like, oh, yeah, it's a good hotel.

Speaker 7 And she called me like, there are meth heads passed out against the window. It's a motel.
And I was like, oh, yeah, I guess I thought that was nice. That's how easy I was.
But, yeah, no,

Speaker 7 it never ends. I do it every week.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Chicago Theater. I mean, that's, have you done the Chicago Theater?

Speaker 7 I did it as an opener. I never, I've never headlined it.
That's awesome. I'm pumped.
That's so. I taped my last special in Chicago.
I love it here.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're taping a special. Are you going into the performance? Like, is there any additional pressure? Is it like an athlete in the playoffs?

Speaker 1 Is there like special speed where you get on stage and you're like, this feels different? Because I know it's a special.

Speaker 7 That's a good question. I mean,

Speaker 7 no, because I taped seven. I did it at the den, which is only like 350 seats.
So I did seven shows and I got drunk after every show. So I was like, we'll get one of them.

Speaker 7 I mean, it's like, if you have seven chances to get one good performance, I'm going to get it. Yeah.

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Speaker 1 I also saw you did, and I thought this was the coolest thing in Montreal when you just had a, like,

Speaker 1 I think maybe you had a flight get canceled and you were just like, hey, I want to do a show and you booked a show like a pretty good place like instantly. It was pretty outside.

Speaker 7 I mean, okay, so what happened was I was in, I think, I was in Edmonton with Theo Vaughan. We were doing this outdoor festival and I'm always panicking that something bad is going to happen.

Speaker 7 And Theo's like, nah, man, everything's cool.

Speaker 1 Theo's definitely a chill guy.

Speaker 7 It was an outdoor show, which, by the way, like COVID, we couldn't do indoors. Now there's wildfires in Canada.
They fucking canceled the outdoor show because of the wildfires and the air quality.

Speaker 7 So I was like, dude, this air quality is like, do you feel this? And he's like, nah, it's all good. And I was like, no, this is like bad air.

Speaker 7 And then our agent called and was like, the city's shutting down, like everything's shut down.

Speaker 7 then we stayed another day. So I was, I got in a night early because there's no direct flights to Edmonton.
So I'm already like three nights into one fucking show in Edmonton. I fly back and my

Speaker 7 connect flight home the next day is now canceled and I'm stuck in Montreal. And I'm just texting my agent like, fuck this.
I'm never home. I'm losing my mind.

Speaker 7 And he's like, you want to do a pop-up gig?

Speaker 1 And I was like, fuck yes.

Speaker 7 But I didn't think he was going to find me one. So I was getting shit faced at a hotel bar and I was like three Manhattans deep.

Speaker 7 And he was like, got got you a gig, ticket link here, promote it now and amazing crap. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The toss. It was, it was, I watched it in real time.
Like I watched like, I'm in Montreal and it's like, all right, I got a show. Come see it.

Speaker 7 That's what I'm talking about. Like the highs and lows.
I mean, just traveling every week, you're just going to have bad shit happen.

Speaker 1 I know. So

Speaker 7 people, I do feel like they see me at my worst, you know, because I'm just fucking.

Speaker 7 The amount of times I've been like sprinting for a connect flight and they just like shut the door in my face. You know, you're like, you're going to lose it.

Speaker 7 You're like, that's a fucking gig I just lost.

Speaker 1 Right. What's the longest you've gone in between shows? Like, have you, have you taken time off from comedy?

Speaker 7 I took like my first vacation this year. I don't do it really.
I just, it's very hard for me because I like what I do.

Speaker 7 So it's hard to, and also the fear of when you shut off, just shutting it back on is so painful. It just, I feel rusty.
I hate feeling rusty.

Speaker 7 I ran to Chris Rock on the street recently and he's like, you take a vacation lately? I was like, yeah, I took a vacation. He goes, even LeBron needs an offseason.

Speaker 1 It's like, Chris Rock, his words of wisdom.

Speaker 7 He always finds like the shortest way to just say, and you're like, All right, that's uh, I should take a vacation. So, I did.

Speaker 7 I went to Greece, I did shows on the way in London, but uh, you're addicted. I love it, yeah, I love doing it.

Speaker 1 That's like, I mean, that's like us with podcasting.

Speaker 1 We've been doing it for a long time now, but like when we take, you know, we'll take like a week off for July 4th, and I'll just be sitting at home being like, man, I wish I could talk about some sports.

Speaker 1 Like, something will happen, and we'll be like, fuck, and be free. We want to talk about it.

Speaker 7 It's how your brains work, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. And it makes, I mean, it's why we have the best job, why you probably would say you have the best job because you love doing it that much.

Speaker 7 It's awesome. It's been so hard for me to shut off, but then every comic is like, you have a problem, you know, you don't, but I really don't.
Oh, do you?

Speaker 1 They think you're addicted to comedy.

Speaker 7 I have a Mark Norman and I, we are told constantly that, like, you guys gotta, like, Stavros will yell at me.

Speaker 7 He's like, if you are, if you take this gig, New Year's in Springfield, Missouri, I'm gonna fucking kill you. And I'm playing Springfield, Missouri.

Speaker 7 It's like, I got them the acts, the actual, I don't like performing on New Year's Eve, so I got them to do the 28th through the 30th.

Speaker 7 I don't like New Year's Eve crowds.

Speaker 1 So come out, Springfield, Missouri.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I just was like,

Speaker 7 he gets so angry with me because I used to have a fucked up neck, and he was like, you are killing your body.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 I don't know how athletes do it. I think about that all the time.
Like just the flying, because even on the, even on those private jets, if you're seven feet, that's not comfy.

Speaker 7 I see the pictures of Team USA, and it's like they're sleeping like this. Yeah, I know.

Speaker 1 That's not good. I know.
It can't feel good.

Speaker 1 No, that's what the Live Tour is awesome because they just rent, they have this jet that's like, I don't know, probably like a $700 million plane that's got fully reclinable beds.

Speaker 1 It's part nightclub, part hotel on there. They put out a ridiculous video when they first got all the golfers to join.
It's like, oh, I think they just might want to sleep.

Speaker 1 They just might want some downtime. That's cool, though, being addicted to you're addicted to comedy.
So you don't even think like you, it's not even in your like

Speaker 1 far-off vision of like, maybe someday I'll retire.

Speaker 7 Oh, God, no. No, I think Don Rickles and Joan Rivers and Dangerfield, like, that's the dream.

Speaker 7 The fact that you could just go till the end. Yeah.
You know, I mean, it's, it's so cool. I love that Rickles would, like, literally go out in the wheelchair and be like, look at this ugly fucker.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 anything cooler than that, you're hanging on by a thread and you're still just insulting people. I love it.

Speaker 7 Dangerfield 2. There's this old clip of Dangerfield where he's like just bombing.
He's like, got to be 80. And he's bombing in Vegas.

Speaker 7 And they're just like, you're like, oh, fuck, guy lost his fastball. And then he just like, he turns it on.
And it's like one line or one line. And he starts killing.

Speaker 7 And he just kind of like arrogantly is like, I know a lot of fucking jokes. It's just such a cool moment.

Speaker 1 I saw the, there was the Carol Burnett special that happened like three months ago. That's got to be kind of weird, though, if you're a very old comedian.

Speaker 1 And basically, they're doing your funeral for you while you're still alive. Like, it's nice.

Speaker 1 It's nice to see this, but like, somebody spent $2 million putting on a show to like thank me for everything. I got to think in the back of my head, like, I'm probably gone.
Like,

Speaker 1 I've got months after this point.

Speaker 7 But how nice is it that they do your funeral while you're still alive? Yeah. They did in Seinfeld's special, it's the, everyone is taking his jokes at the funeral.
It's like, who gets the bits?

Speaker 1 Yeah. I love that.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, it's true.

Speaker 1 We've had problems with that. Oh, no, wait, we, oh, yeah, we did have problems with that.
We had John Cena on once, and we, he had, there was a rumor out there that he had died.

Speaker 1 And we're like, how cool is that? That for like like a day, people thought you died. And he just shut it down.
He's like, it's not funny. A friend of mine died.
And we're like, okay. What?

Speaker 7 A friend of mine died? Yeah, and

Speaker 1 he was wearing like a superhero outfit at the time, and it was over Zoom.

Speaker 1 We're like, it's got to be cool to have people saying all these nice things about you because they think that you're passed away, but then you get to come back and be like, no, I'm still alive.

Speaker 1 You get a little glimpse as to what your funeral is going to look like. He's like, I know what you're trying to do right now, and I just want to say I don't think it's very funny.

Speaker 1 And that we should have. He's got these big-ass gloves on in the camera for the superhero.

Speaker 1 It was a record scratch yeah we've had those moments before because we've been i mean we've been doing it for who else was like a weird not vibe with uh dan marino was pretty bad

Speaker 1 uh that was also our fault we were in the back of a van super bowl week and he was just like who the fuck are they because i think

Speaker 1 it's gone in phases because when we started obviously it was like who the fuck are these guys now i think most people know what part of my take is before they come on but we will get a few every now and then can we can we just say

Speaker 1 yeah we could believe

Speaker 1 yeah first of all i don't think he's a very good interview from what i've seen yeah and then we had him on the show and we came in hot on him and we're like you know a lot of people say you'll never win a championship blah blah blah blah blah we might have said things like that before we were trying to like joke about it and make it okay right up front we've said these things now make fun of us and he just shut down he was giving like one-word answers for everything and he was trying to promote a book which is weird so he didn't

Speaker 1 like it because i i'm a big believer like we'll have people on that we've talked shit about and i want to to say hey i've talked shit about you because it would be such a fraud move to have someone on and just pretend that we haven't talked shit about them that's true most people for the most part know what we do and they know that the shit that we're talking is not serious and we give ourselves more shit than we give anyone else so it's like have some fun with it like bust your own balls so but yeah sometimes it backfires i could see him not being fun i've that we definitely have people on our podcast here like oof do you hate us like what that like we're trying what's the worst one you've done al franken was really tough oh yeah i could see that.

Speaker 7 And it's like, we were like very much defending him. We're like, ah, you got fucked.

Speaker 7 And I think he just like every joke, he'd be like, you know, he would like, we would make jokes and he'd be like, try the veal.

Speaker 7 I'm like, that's, I guess that's your way of calling us corny or something.

Speaker 1 Try the veal. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's so mean.

Speaker 7 He just like didn't, he didn't like us.

Speaker 1 He got that senator mentality where he's like above comedy now, man. Yeah.

Speaker 7 It's so weird. I think it's also like old SNL, just the ego is like, I fucking, I was on, that was real comedy.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So, I mean, when we were growing up, it's like SNL was the pinnacle of everything.
If you wanted to make it in comedy, you got on SNL, boom, you're good. You're like minted at that point.

Speaker 1 Now, I don't think that that's the case anymore. I don't think that there's that many people that grow up in comedy that look at SNL as being like the destination.

Speaker 1 I couldn't name more than one cast character. Oh, you could name him.

Speaker 7 You know him if you saw him. It's just like it's also been, you know, strike, too.

Speaker 1 That's the crazy thing.

Speaker 7 But, you know, Michael Chee and Colin Joseph. Oh, yeah, okay.

Speaker 7 But.

Speaker 7 Yeah, you're right. There's just a million different shows now.
So

Speaker 7 SNL growing up, I I mean, I would watch the Comedy Central reruns and it'd be like Sandler and Spade and Farley and, you know, Meadows and all those guys.

Speaker 7 But now they're going up against a million shows. I think it's just a broader landscape now.

Speaker 1 Has podcasting helped your comedy a lot? Because I feel like listening,

Speaker 1 watching comedians, then they have a podcast and it's a funny podcast. It's like, it just, they all blow up from that.

Speaker 7 Yeah, doing each other's pod, I think, helps, but it's weird now, too. I feel like back in the day, they'd be like, we go on Carson twice and we were famous.

Speaker 7 And now you're like, cool, I did 900 podcasts this month.

Speaker 1 I did. And I got four tweets.

Speaker 7 And two of them were in Astoria.

Speaker 1 You made me fucking travel for it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 No, it definitely helps. I also, I'm very conscious of like creative energy burnt, you know, because I used to write all day.
I used to like, I'd be like, new jokes, new jokes.

Speaker 7 And now you just have other shit. I guess that's, that's a good thing.
It's part of, you're busy. Things are going well.
Yeah. But stand-up is always for me number one.

Speaker 7 And I always, like, I got into stand-up. When I started stand-up, there were no podcasts.
So I was like, I'll be like a Gary Shanlan type of guy. I'll make a sitcom.

Speaker 7 And now sitcom would like, that could like hurt your momentum as a comedian.

Speaker 1 It's weird. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Sorry, I took out my phone. I wasn't texting.
I was paying my parking, which I've gotten like six tickets. Which is like two weeks.

Speaker 1 What's your writing process like if you're coming up with new material for a stand-up set? Are you like dedicating certain hours?

Speaker 1 Like, okay, starting at 10 a.m., I'm going to just shut myself in a room. I'm just going to write.
Or do you go somewhere? Do you need to be like inspired by something? Well, no, no, I wish I knew.

Speaker 7 I will listen to a set and I'll be like, that joke is not finished. That joke doesn't, you know, it has legs, but I haven't cracked it.
So sometimes I have a joke that's like two-thirds.

Speaker 7 It doesn't have like that, that third pop I want.

Speaker 7 I want like at least three good pops and you want that last part to really be like, oh, okay.

Speaker 7 But so I'll edit before. Writing is more like I'll just be walking around if something falls in my head.
Right. And I'm like, that's something.
I'll go back to it. I'll take a note of it.

Speaker 7 I go back and I start to just try to, it's all in a Word doc. I just try to punch it up.

Speaker 1 What's the joke that's pissed off the most people?

Speaker 7 Ooh, that's a good one. Okay.
Well, this is, this one pissed people off. And my fucking, what's great is,

Speaker 1 oh, okay.

Speaker 7 First one, this bombed fucking insanely hard in Boston. This years ago.
It was right after the Boston bombing. And yeah, already not.

Speaker 1 I've already laughed.

Speaker 7 It's at my Comedy Central half hour. hour and i said uh you know when i saw that i was i was devastated my first thought was me and my brother we don't do anything together anymore you know crickets

Speaker 1 and then uh

Speaker 7 yeah it's it's solid and then the last one another one so i was in we try to be healthy on the road mostly like basketball but i mean we drink at night but during the day you'll like exercise and uh

Speaker 7 so we we went to for whatever reason we're like we'll do hot yoga today we'll mix it up we did a yoga we never have done it so we go and uh the instructor recognized me and she goes do you want to tell a joke in a yoga class and i'm like of course not i just like looked at brian who's my tour manager and he and he just like gives me a look like i got this and i was like i don't know what the hell that means this is the joke he tells to a room full of women it's an old this is the bit that would get me shit he goes uh so my friend's girlfriend just had a miscarriage in the shower and i was like oh my god worst baby shower ever

Speaker 1 he tells it to a room full of women.

Speaker 1 No one fucking laughs.

Speaker 7 There was one black dude who goes, oh shit, that's fucked up. That was the most we got.

Speaker 7 But no one laughed. And afterwards, I was like, dude, what the fuck? He was like, it's your joke.
I was like, I don't open with it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right.

Speaker 7 That's a delicate subject.

Speaker 1 You got to earn that joke.

Speaker 7 So that one would piss people off. Oh, you know what one would upset people?

Speaker 7 I said, you know,

Speaker 7 this was an old one.

Speaker 7 I was talking to a girl. She goes, I need a man who will treat me like a princess.
So I hired the paparazzi to chase her, and she died in a car crash.

Speaker 1 Groans,

Speaker 1 groans. Yeah.
Those are funny, though.

Speaker 1 They're fun. Yeah.
But you just... For a late crowd.
Yeah, right, right.

Speaker 1 Do you have one that's like one that a joke that you've written that you absolutely love, but when you tell it, people don't appreciate it as much as they should?

Speaker 7 You know what those jokes usually are? Is if they're personal and you think something is funnier, but to them, it's dark.

Speaker 7 I think it's like comics will get angry sometimes when a crowd doesn't like that, but I think the crowd actually likes you and feels bad.

Speaker 1 But we hate that.

Speaker 7 So, yeah, I had one about my biological father who when he,

Speaker 7 you know, he left and my dad raised my stepdad.

Speaker 7 uh when you adopt a kid legally you need the the signature so my joke was it's kind of like the opposite of a ups package you're like hey you sign here and i don't want this

Speaker 7 that never hit i think it made people sad yeah it's a hard line to walk between like that's funny and that's just funny to me right right because they don't feel yeah they're like I'm not gonna laugh at that that's fucked up it's like no but I'm laughing at it yeah that was a tough one yeah there's a few where you're like that one is so close but it's not it's it's something missing yeah yeah is there like a an MJ LeBron debate amongst stand-up comedians like who's the goat well I think yeah it's not like generational like that it's more like prior and carlin I think I think Louis to some degree has entered that debate I think Louis the amount of specials he's put out is is pretty insane right and just the quality is so high.

Speaker 7 But, you know, I think with what happened with him, he was kind of out of the mainstream conversation, but comics don't give a shit about that.

Speaker 7 Like, do you think the Grammys know anything about fucking stand-up? Like, no, no, no, you know, we don't care about awards.

Speaker 1 Right. Although I think he did win.
He won it. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 So that was a bad example.

Speaker 7 But I think usually they're like, they just kind of go with like, they don't pay attention. But

Speaker 7 Louis is,

Speaker 7 yeah, I think he's definitely in the convo too. Just for like

Speaker 7 sustained grade. Longevity, yeah.

Speaker 1 Could Carlin play in this era?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 7 I mean, Carlin was so fucking good.

Speaker 7 You know who I think is also gets, I see some comics say he's overrated, but if we're going like guy who like, if he kept going, would have been the guy, like almost like a Tupac biggie situation is Bill Hicks.

Speaker 7 Cause that guy's. got five albums and he died at like 32.

Speaker 1 Alex Jones, right? People think he's Alex Jones. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 7 Young Alex Jones looks a little bit like Bill Hicks.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's a conspiracy out there that Bill Hicks just went off the face of the earth moved to central texas started talking about 9-11 he would have done he would have done good sandy hook jokes

Speaker 7 so i don't think that's him but uh no bill hicks had some brilliant jokes and you know dennis leary stole a shitload of his bits oh he did that was like a lot of the beef is he just stole a bunch has anyone stole a joke from you before have yeah i mean but it's usually like i think a premise no it's usually like a uh like a meme person online it's like one of those like fat jew type accounts where you're just I don't give a shit.

Speaker 7 And the problem is the audience doesn't give a shit. Because they just click like and move on.

Speaker 7 No one realizes that you like labored over this premise. Right.
I had one that just, yeah, it turns into a meme. So I get pissed.
Comics are usually not dumb enough to do that.

Speaker 7 Like the days of a Carlos Mencia are kind of numbered because he

Speaker 7 he just got like destroyed. Right.
Right.

Speaker 1 And it would be pretty hard now, especially with like podcasts and everything. You'd hear about it right away.
Yeah. It does kind of take balls.

Speaker 1 Like, it would be kind of fun to just go and like steal an entire comics act. So we have to do

Speaker 1 an hour-long.

Speaker 1 Like, if I just went up and did, like, you're an entire act.

Speaker 7 Someone did that to Ron White, I think, back in the day. They got into a fight with him, and he opened for him, and he just did his act because he knew his act.
I think about it.

Speaker 7 Like, Gary Viter opens for me. I'm like, I could probably do his act.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's pretty funny, actually. That's very funny.
To do it in front of somebody's face. Yeah.
I like that. I don't like doing it for you.
It's like, here's the mic. It's fun.

Speaker 7 It's pretty,

Speaker 7 it's pretty easy, but yeah, you would get busted. I mean, look, we've all also made the mistake.
Like, I've had friends be like, I'm like, oh, you just did that bit's like in an old special mind.

Speaker 7 They're like, oh, fuck.

Speaker 1 Like, parallel thought is a thing,

Speaker 1 of course.

Speaker 7 And you absorb stuff, but

Speaker 7 yeah, to do it on purpose, now that the industry is kind of dead, too, I feel like people did it back in the day. They're like, I'll do this person's joke in a late-night set and I'll take off.

Speaker 7 But now it's like podcasts, as you said, are such a big part of it.

Speaker 1 What about like cover bands or tribute bands? If you're just like a cover comedian

Speaker 1 and you go, you do a performance. Listen,

Speaker 7 this is my Tom Waits version of that joke.

Speaker 1 Mitch Hagbird's not alive, unfortunately.

Speaker 1 He was a great comic, but if you straightened out my hair and put like a corduroy jacket on me, I feel like I could go out and tell his jokes and be maybe like 1% as funny as he is.

Speaker 1 So we have to do a live set in Vegas in our fancy, or it's our gambling picks, right? Yeah, we're doing

Speaker 1 all on picks. The person that comes in last place has to do an hour.
Live in Las Vegas in front of a live crowd. When are you doing that? I might just steal jokes.

Speaker 1 It just might be a cover night of comedy. Yeah.

Speaker 7 Yeah, if you do a tribute. Yeah,

Speaker 1 you do a tribute band session. You're up front about it, be like, hey, these aren't my jokes, but I'm just going to tell them.

Speaker 1 Tim Dylan once told a funny story that in Long Island, he watched is like a Rodney Dangerfield cover act,

Speaker 1 got in a fight with another Rodney Dangerfield cover act because he was like, this is my fucking place.

Speaker 1 That's funny. Two Rodney Dangerfields fighting.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 Dangerfield makes me so happy. Like, that's like, my God.
Like, back to school. There's not like a fun movie.
I, I would, I did, uh, Whitney Cummings is making something like regarding Dangerfield.

Speaker 7 So she's working with his wife. So I was, she was driving me to a set and she goes, do you want to talk? I know you love Dangerfield.
Do you want to talk to his wife? And I was like, fuck yes.

Speaker 7 So she just calls Dangerfield's wife, who's like the nicest human, just like a really hot younger woman that Dangerfield was married to. And on the phone, she goes,

Speaker 7 do you want to hear like a Rodney story that no one ever heard?

Speaker 1 And I was like, please, yeah.

Speaker 7 Apparently, when he had brain surgery, he was going in. He was like, please don't.
Like, if anything happens, like, all I have is my mind. I need my mind.
I need to be sharp.

Speaker 7 And then he comes out of brain surgery. And the doctor's like, did you call off anything up?

Speaker 1 And he goes, yeah, 500 last week to a whore.

Speaker 1 It's his first line out of fucking surgery. It's like, damn, an unheard dangerfield gem.

Speaker 1 He's such a sharp. He's such a class.

Speaker 7 I mean, that dude just, I mean, caddyshacked. There's so many great.

Speaker 7 Even Meet Wally Sparks. You know that scene where you ever see that one?

Speaker 1 I had never seen that one. No.

Speaker 7 It's not, I wouldn't say like a good movie, but it's dangerous. Like, he's just telling jokes.

Speaker 1 He is just so funny just every time he's on the screen.

Speaker 7 Well, he walks by this couple and they're making out. He goes, You two should go get a room.
Then he walks by a fatter couple making out. He goes, You two should get a warehouse.

Speaker 1 It's perfect.

Speaker 1 The best. All right, my last question.
This has been awesome. Everyone, go see Sam out on the road.
Any so we're going to run this next week. So anything coming up that you want people to do?

Speaker 7 Stand-up live in Phoenix this weekend, Thursday through Saturday. I got, you know, Indianapolis, Columbus,

Speaker 1 Cincinnati, Springfield.

Speaker 7 The big one is

Speaker 7 the NYC, November 4th, the theater, Madison Square Garden.

Speaker 1 Which hopefully you still have after doing this podcast. Say something nice about James Dolan.
Hey, big fan.

Speaker 7 And also,

Speaker 7 yes, Australia. I'm going to fucking Australia.

Speaker 1 Oh, yes.

Speaker 7 And then Tampa, Vegas, everything.

Speaker 7 I'm going to literally every city, as you guys said. We don't stop.
So it's just tickets at samarille.com. I love it.

Speaker 1 All right. So my last question.

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Speaker 1 Of the New York teams you root for, who's the next one to win a championship? Been a long time. Been a decade in nine teams.
Obviously, you don't root for all nine, but it's been a long time.

Speaker 1 So, who's the next?

Speaker 7 The honest question is probably the Liberty.

Speaker 1 I was going to say, you can't say the Liberty. Okay.

Speaker 7 Well,

Speaker 7 I think they could. They got it.

Speaker 1 They got it. I love their team.

Speaker 7 I love Stu and

Speaker 7 I love the whole team. Ineski's just a fucking shooter.
I got to say,

Speaker 7 I think the Knicks will figure it out. It's been too long.

Speaker 7 It's been too long. The Knicks before the Yankees.

Speaker 7 I guess in my heart, I just don't care. The Yankees have won so much.

Speaker 7 I was a spoiled child of the 90s Yankees.

Speaker 1 I'm kind of like, I'm good. I'm glad.
I'm glad to see that from a Yankees fan.

Speaker 7 I don't care if we ever win again, honestly.

Speaker 1 You were great. You were like the only thing in sports.

Speaker 7 And I love those players. I love Posada and Jeter and Mo and Petta and all those guys.
Bernie Williams, Paul O'Neal. Fucking amazingly cool team.
But I just don't give a shit.

Speaker 7 Baseball also lost me for so many years. Just the way they horribly marketed the league.
And thank God for Otani, but are they going to fuck this up too? I don't know.

Speaker 1 Oh, sure, they will.

Speaker 7 So, yeah, I just got to say the Knicks are going to, they're going to find a way to get that free agent, whether it's Giannis, whether whoever, I don't know, but I hope it's Giannis.

Speaker 7 I hope he wasn't bullshitting me. I'm so fucking mad they got Dame because I felt that when it happened, I was like, fuck.
Yeah. Because I know that hurt.

Speaker 1 That, yeah.

Speaker 7 That hurt our shots. And I don't trust Embiid as the guy.
No. So I just, no offense.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 No, he knows. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know that. Yeah, you didn't do.
Yeah, don't put words in my mouth.

Speaker 7 I just just don't know who the guy is right now if it's not Giannis because I don't. It's clear Jokic and Giannis are the guys.
So

Speaker 1 Cooper Flag. Maybe.
You got to get this guy. He's

Speaker 1 a senior in high school, I think. Baron Trump.
He's going to be the first

Speaker 1 beast. Yeah.
Baron Trump. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's got that lobbying blood, right? We've always said the best would be Baron Trump and Bronny Jr. on the same team.

Speaker 7 Be great. Bronnie.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. we'll see.

Speaker 7 Is Bronny going to be good?

Speaker 1 Well, I don't know. I think is he back? He had that heart thing.
He had heart arrhythmia.

Speaker 1 It does suck having to be like, even if he's like average NBA player, which would be a phenomenal career, everyone would be like, well, you're not LeBron James.

Speaker 7 It's like being Frank Sinatra Jr.

Speaker 1 It's just not fair. Yeah, it's not fair.

Speaker 1 It's not fair. You got to change your name.
You got to be something other than LeBron James Jr.

Speaker 7 We used to hate like doing early days of the comic strip, going up late night.

Speaker 7 The comics, they would let cut you just because they had a famous dude's last name and you're like this motherfucker yeah but then they didn't try like there that's the thing is like i think i heard gilbert arena say this he's like you got it's tough to be the famous dude even if you have the access you don't have that like hunger right right because you expect the access yeah yeah i mean a dude like you know Draymond green like that's not a dude's son.

Speaker 7 Right.

Speaker 1 It's a dude who wants to like tear your throat out. Right, right.
It's true. It's true.
Well, Sam, this has been awesome, man. Thank you so much for making time.
It is awesome to have you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're always welcome back on. So

Speaker 1 thanks, man.

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Speaker 1 Firefest, wrap it up. Send everyone into a football weekend.
Hank,

Speaker 1 get us going. Yes.

Speaker 1 Hank.

Speaker 1 In June,

Speaker 1 I found a website

Speaker 1 just plain white t-shirts, like a little higher quality, comfortable, kind of like going, you know, not undershirts, like going out, just a plain white shirt. Big white tees.

Speaker 1 Yeah, ordered, ordered three of them, like they came in a pack of three.

Speaker 1 I accidentally signed up for like a monthly membership that I keep forgetting to cancel. And they just send you white t-shirts every month? Every month.

Speaker 1 So I got three in June, three in July, three in August, three in December, three in October.

Speaker 1 And I have

Speaker 1 12-year-olds.

Speaker 1 Yeah, at first, I was like, oh, yeah, well, I can use more white t-shirts. The last two packs haven't even got the, I haven't even opened them yet.
Oh, no.

Speaker 1 And then I was trying to cancel yesterday, and it was like being annoying. I got to remember to do it right now, actually.
But yeah, it just came.

Speaker 1 I was like, oh, package, this is exciting. And it's like, fuck.

Speaker 1 More white t-shirts. You know what? I feel like.
And I've probably spent like 200 bucks on white t-shirts. Big white t-shirts, though.

Speaker 1 If you're going to have too much of something, and I'm just envisioning Hank wearing it. Are they big? No, they're like

Speaker 1 white t-shirts. If you're going to have too much of one item of $10,000, a bunch, but then it's like, it's lame to just wear a white t-shirt on.

Speaker 1 A white t shirt's not a bad thing to have a surplus of, though. 15, though, is excessive.
Yeah, probably.

Speaker 1 Wear it to the gym. You're like Steve Jobs, but casual.

Speaker 1 He's a white t-shirt mogul. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Damn, Hank.

Speaker 1 You got to get that subscription. There's nothing better than canceling a subscription.
It is nice. It's very nice.

Speaker 1 Hank, you should just wear white t-shirts all the time and just throw them out at the end of the day. Yeah.

Speaker 1 How big of a boss would you feel like if you did that? Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, PFT? Oh, that was the issue. I was trying to cancel it.
I was doing it on my phone, and I logged in the website.

Speaker 1 It's like we send a verification in your email, but you have to log out to get the verification. So you can't

Speaker 1 do it on my computer. Got it.
Two-factor. Okay.
PFTE.

Speaker 1 My Fire Fest, I've got a couple. One is that me or Big Cat, we're going to have to.
Are you okay, Big Cat? Are you sick? No, I'm not. You sound sick.
I just had a cough.

Speaker 1 You should go to the doctor. I'm worried about you.
If I was, I would for the team. I'm worried about you.
I would go to the doctor. I don't have one, but I would.

Speaker 1 That's the second time I cough today. I'd find one and I'd go.
I'm just saying, put Big Cat on Cough Watch. I'm on Cough Watch.
Okay, all right. Cough alert.

Speaker 1 My first Fire Fest is that me and Big Cat are going to have to get a tattoo. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Really dumb idea to do a tattoo bet on this Thursday night football game. You did in like June.
Everybody in the world

Speaker 1 actively hates this game. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's become a big joke. I don't know if the Bears Commanders, if there's anything inherently funny about those two teams playing each other.

Speaker 1 It's not like they're really awful historical franchises in the last 20 years.

Speaker 1 Forever, forever.

Speaker 1 It's a meaningless game, pretty much, on Thursday night. The whole world hates that it's on TV, and then me and Big Cat are going to have to get our first tattoo if we lose.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Of our choosing, so it's that we had credit to us for the foresight

Speaker 1 where we weren't like, oh, if the Bears win, you got to get a Bears tattoo, or if the Commanders win, I have to get a commander. We said, tattoos enough, you get to choose what the tattoo is.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so it's

Speaker 1 a dealer's choice. That's not a bad idea.

Speaker 1 I did say, because somebody asked, what about a tie? Do you both get tattoos? Offhand on Twitter, I fired off a tweet that just said, we will do a sex tape if it's a tie.

Speaker 1 I didn't think about it, and then once I sent it, immediately I was like, that was maybe a worse idea than the tattoo bet. But we're going to have to do it.
We're going to have to do a sex tape.

Speaker 1 Do you think it's PNA or PNM? P2P? P2P. Docking.
Yeah. We'll sword fight.
We'll sword fight. Docking, yeah.
So that's Firefest 1. Firefest 2 is that Blake bit my penis again.
Oh,

Speaker 1 again, not on purpose, and he was like chewing a toy, but he likes to chew on your lap sometimes because he's a big snuggler. He's a great dog, and he sometimes will bite your shorts, bite your arm.

Speaker 1 And we're working on that, we're getting better. But he happened to bite my penis through my shorts the other day.
So, again, no blood, no blood. So, maybe that will be the sex tape.

Speaker 1 Me and Blake going T on P for you, tooth on P? Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, that'd be nice. Both take a big chunk, yeah.
So, um,

Speaker 1 Blake, Blake has a penis touching prone. Blake is the Mac Jones of dogs, yeah,

Speaker 1 Hank.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 It's so sad. He's not good enough to hit people in their penis all the time.
No, he's not.

Speaker 1 You have to, like, Chris Paul can get away with it a little bit because he's a good player until the playoffs. Even Grayson Allen in college was good enough.
Right.

Speaker 1 But Mac Jones, you can't have a guy that sucks also hitting people in their dick. Did we get fined for that? I don't know.
Interesting. Yeah, he got a bro fine.
Code break. Code break.
Code break.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we should start sending that out. Man law.
Code breaks.

Speaker 1 Okay. My Fire Fest, you know, it was a weird week because we were in the news a lot.

Speaker 1 And it was, I would say, my Fire Fest is the people who went so crazy that they were like,

Speaker 1 you know, I'm going to go after your family and you and everything like that.

Speaker 1 What if your son wants to go see Snow White? How are you going to bring it to him? He will not do it. No, no, not allowed.
Not allowed.

Speaker 1 I thought she made some really interesting points. Rachel Ziegler, that was actually a good tipping point where it's like, oh, you know, she's on that.
She thinks it's not funny.

Speaker 1 Okay, then it must be funny. So,

Speaker 1 but actually, it's a fire fest crazy week that turned into a positive and that i it like it was a good reminder i don't need people to defend me but it was a good reminder that people have my back and there was a lot of people who defended me and defended the fact that like this podcast is a joke as its existence is a joke the whole thing is a joke so that was cool yeah my favorite my favorite article was the one that waited until like way after the giant pictures to be like and they were joking about it yeah but still you have to wonder like what if they weren't joking yeah what if they actually are demanding this?

Speaker 1 I also, I was thinking the other Firefests that I kind of wish my only regret in the whole thing was I didn't have a mustache. Like, I didn't have my beard shaved.
That would have been very funny.

Speaker 1 Yeah. If a mustache man, overweight mustache man, was demanding sex tapes.
Yeah. But yeah, the whole thing was pretty crazy.

Speaker 1 I liked all the tweets that were like, they need to just stop selling microphones to people. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, they need a test.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Or the one tweet that always makes me laugh is all men should start their life in jail and prove their way out. I like that.
Yeah, I'm fine with that. I'm cool with that.
Jail sounds awesome.

Speaker 1 Dude, jail is the ultimate man cave. I spend all the time with the boys, playing cards, fellas, listening to music, and then a couple slap boxes.
How did these two guys survive the Barcelona layoffs?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. It's a good point.

Speaker 1 It's a good point. Oh, it's great.
There was also, there was so many threads going on in my mentions list, like deep people arguing.

Speaker 1 And then one guy made a great point because he was arguing with a Swifty forever.

Speaker 1 And he was just like, just so we're clear, Taylor Swift has like the most insane security staff and everything because of people like you, not because of people like Dan.

Speaker 1 And it's like, yeah, that actually is, that's probably true. My other favorite were the people that were like tagging Dave in it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Saying, Dave, how can you let this type of vulgar talk exist on your network? You need to stand up for women, Dave. And it's like, wait,

Speaker 1 what world are we living in? Well, Dave did make a good point on Pick'em. He said that now people are going to say, like, I like Barstool, but except for those PMT guys.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, Dave's one of the good ones. Yeah, Dave is.

Speaker 1 The whole situation has made me laugh. And so funny.
And yeah, obviously the people that are like doing death threats towards families and stuff, those are fucked up.

Speaker 1 Psychos that I had some real fucked up tweets and I was just like, what is going on? Yeah, that will never do anything.

Speaker 1 But the people on the internet are just, they're just, you know, there's some weirdos out there. Yeah.
What weirdos.

Speaker 1 They're playing basketball out there.

Speaker 1 Jake.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, first off, on that,

Speaker 1 we're going to get the pot bouncing stopping. All right.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 LeBron tried to get the Kelsey, or tried to get an invite on Kelsey's pod, and I said, LeBron, you should come off, come on. And someone said, I hope the part of my take guys die in a fire.

Speaker 1 Oh, something like that. That's mean.
Oh,

Speaker 1 that's very mean. That's actually not that mean compared to what I've gotten, but yeah.
So we should give credit to LeBron James. LeBron James went, what was it, 11 and 2?

Speaker 6 The part of my take creeps can die in a fire.

Speaker 1 LeBron James went 11 and 2 picking games last week. He does a Sunday morning games where he sits down on Instagram Live.
I put together a parlay. I put 50 bucks on it that would have won $42,000.

Speaker 1 He went 11-2, and he picked some underdogs, too. LeBron James might be the best sports prognosticator in the world.
And he also, yeah, he had. Are you counting what was his record?

Speaker 1 I think it was 11-2 straight up. So you're not counting the Lions that he picked? Oh, no.
Good point.

Speaker 1 And the Jaguars? He picked the Lions on Thursday night, but he unfortunately was not able to put that pick out before the game. And same thing with the London game.

Speaker 1 So yeah, I think he was 13, 13 and 2. Damn, LeBron was glazing.
Yeah. Yeah, he was glazing.
He was on fire. Just because you guys are truly the kings of Northeast Ohio and I claim to be, be honest.

Speaker 1 Seriously, you guys are awesome.

Speaker 6 Yeah, so we, me, on behalf of you guys, I extended the invite, but I haven't heard back yet.

Speaker 1 Okay, you just heard that we hope we die in a fire.

Speaker 6 That's what the response was.

Speaker 1 We should, before we finish the show, should we do score predictions? Because we obviously, at the beginning of the show, you know what happened, but it would be fun. A little time capsule.

Speaker 1 Bears, 21, 14.

Speaker 1 I think the Commanders are going to win 31

Speaker 1 to 21.

Speaker 1 I think the Bears are going to win. I actually know the Bears are going to win.

Speaker 1 Oh, shut up. Bears are going to win 40 to 10.
40 to 10. 40 to 10.
That would be. I'm going to have to win.
The Bears are all the way back. 40 to 10.
Thanks. I can't believe that happened earlier.

Speaker 1 I'm so unlucky.

Speaker 7 Damn it.

Speaker 1 Damn you, big cat. Damn your bears.
Damn the Chicago Bears. Max, the prediction master?

Speaker 7 Bears 34.

Speaker 1 What the hell are you guys doing? Why are you predicting the Bears 10? Bears 34-31.

Speaker 5 Good field's coming out, game.

Speaker 1 Good prediction, Max.

Speaker 6 Bears 11. No, yeah, Commanders 20, Bears 11.
Gammy.

Speaker 6 Okay.

Speaker 1 Is that the most likely Gami that hasn't happened yet?

Speaker 6 No.

Speaker 6 3219,

Speaker 7 3226,

Speaker 1 25.18.

Speaker 1 32.26 surprises me yeah that's they seem like football numbers hank someone just tagged us in a tweet uh someone did an ai rendering of fenway with the lighthouse sick oh you've already seen it was my mistake how would i have known that lighthouse might actually work because it's close enough to the harbor right well yeah the the rendering has it like in the north end uh

Speaker 1 that was so stupid of me to be like hank new lighthouse dropped he's like dude i've seen that what do you think i jerked off to last night uh okay do you think you'd fit it?

Speaker 1 Do you think it could fit in you? That's what fit. Yeah, would it fit?

Speaker 1 That's a big one.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I did do LA.

Speaker 1 I did do a search, a shopping search on Google for lighthouse dildos that I was going to get packed

Speaker 1 about lighthouse fleshlights. They don't exist yet.
They don't exist. Man, it's technology.
Somebody could make millions of dollars making a lighthouse dildo. New kink unlocked.

Speaker 1 Okay, numbers. Three.

Speaker 1 18. 69.
Memes, you ever got it? 40.

Speaker 1 I'm also going to put dick at Ty dinner. Oh, okay.
Fuck you. You probably are such a sick.
You're such a sicko. Memes, would you watch? Honestly.
Like, okay, let's go. You would have to film.

Speaker 1 Let's say that you were not involved in. You would be the guy filming.
Memes, let's say you were not involved in the production of it whatsoever. You were not involved in the posting of it.

Speaker 1 You would watch. Would you watch? I know you would.
No, that's fine. Yes, you would.
Yes, you would. Be honest.
Yes, you would. You guys nude is gross.
Oh, yeah, you're some to look at.

Speaker 1 We're all gross. It's true.
Max, would you watch? Maybe not Jake, but he's a watch. 100% I watch.
Yeah, Max is right.

Speaker 5 Any sex tape of like anyone, you want to see what it is. Yeah.
Anyone?

Speaker 1 Anyone. He said, anyone.
Anyone. Except for Taylor Swift.

Speaker 5 If you hear that someone has sex tape, the first thing to your mind is, oh, I'm curious what that sex tape is.

Speaker 1 You want to know what we're working with?

Speaker 5 If it gets leaked? Yeah, of course.

Speaker 1 Well, we would leak it. All right.
Max, did you guess the number?

Speaker 1 20. Okay.

Speaker 1 50

Speaker 1 50.

Speaker 1 Okay, we'll see everyone on Monday. We'll be in New York.
Surviving barstool. Love you guys.

Speaker 1 Little

Speaker 1 new

Speaker 1 got the win. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Little.