NFL Preview With Pete Prisco, Jets RB Dalvin Cook, Pancakes Only Draft And The Return Of Jimbos

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have a twofer for the people. We have Pete Prisco previewing the NFL season.
He's got the hottest takes, the hottest takes. Always have fun with Pete Prisco.
And then we have Jets running back Dalvin Cook. Great interview.
Getting ready for NFL football tomorrow. We also are going to do Hot Seat Cool Throne, the return of Jimbo's, and a bonus at the end of the show, we do our pancake fantasy draft where we're drafting offensive linemen pancakes only.

It was somehow worse than the dingers only draft.

So we put it at the very end.

It's almost like a bonus thing.

It's like you can't complain about it because it's free content.

Right.

Exactly.

It's at the very end.

It's after the first.

I love you guys. So it's like it's you.

If you complain about it, you're a pervert.

If you're one of those guys that likes to hear us sit around and just say names for about

30 minutes nonstop, then you're going to fucking love. We got a draft for you.
You're going to love the pancake draft. Yes.
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Download theool golf time app now start earning those rewards and booking those tee times barstool golf time app now okay let's go Bye. Now in the street there is violence And then a lot of work to be done No place to hang out or wash in And then I can't blame all on the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh we're gonna down to electric it's part of my take isn't about martial sports welcome to part of my take today is wednesday september 6th and pft they are testing us on what they are testing us with the Kansas City Chiefs.
First, Chris Jones sits out, is maybe not going to play week one. Now, Travis Kelsey, unfortunately, has a hyperextension in his knee.
ACL intact. Wait, has Adam Schefter said anything about his knee about to explode? No, he is not.
Okay. That's Albert Breer.
It's going to explode. Juju Smith-Schuster.
But they're're testing us pft okay travis kelsey might not play on thursday night the chiefs are testing us they're basically at the buzzer we spent all summer saying just don't overthink it the chiefs are gonna win the west and at the buzzer they're giving us enough things to be like well maybe they won't win the west we can't fall for it oh and 17 we can't fall for it i'm i listen chris jones is the one that wanted the hyper extension yeah that's what that's what he's been going for uh kelsey unfortunately we've been talking about the chiefs and you'll hear our interview with pete prisco in a second uh and he basically says he could throw to any of us three yes and patrick moments would be a great quarterback they don't have proven wide receivers this year they were just going be like, okay, we'll do Travis Kelsey, and then we'll make it work on the outside. Without Travis Kelsey, I'm going lines, money line.
I am too. Money line.
I already was doing that, but I'm saying like for season long, the Chiefs are basically right at the buzzer saying, hey, let's invite all the doubters. Let's have this doubt creep in so that we can have that rat poison in the locker room was billy right about travis kelsey run soft maybe yeah i don't know yeah i don't know we got to see the tape i gotta i gotta find out how it happened what trust the reminder no no but jake yeah you're right but jake just what jake jake shut the fuck up you also said don't trust the reminder yes you said for week one don't trust the reminders yeah but chiefs to win the west is not a week one reminder i'm i don't know what to do i don't know what to do hank tell us what to do lions money line no i don't know that's already been decided that's been decided months ago i was like i love i this is going to be a coming out party what past you wanted me to tell you current you, we're all betting the Lions on Thursday, which is a terrible, terrible thing for the Lions.
All due respect, past me was a shithead. Yeah, he's an idiot.
You know how dumb I used to be? He's a moron. He's a fat fucking bitch.
That's what past me is. New me is smart, chiseled, diligent.
Give me another adjective. Steadfast.
Steadfast. Steadfast with his approach.
I'm not sure what steadfast means. am telling you guys what to do i'm just telling you what you wanted current you to do extra diligent yeah but listen i'm not gonna get bossed around by past me i current me is the alpha also i'm not gonna get bossed around by past me via jake yeah true like that's the worst like wait did i really did i really think did i really think that i was going to be able to boss future me around by being like hey jake remind future me that i wanted you to do this no but teacher you didn't assign homework that's what you're doing to us right now you throw it all out that's the one thing that jake actually gets offended by when you say that he was the teacher's homework guy those people you guys think i'm one of them i I mean, you were.
Were you a teacher you forgot to collect homework? No. Were you a teacher, here's an apple, I love you? No.
Were you call your teacher your mom? Everyone was that. Oh, everyone accidentally did that.
Are you kidding me? I've never done that. Really? Everyone accidentally did that at some point.
Were you a teacher I was the only one that did the assignment in my group project no there was a little bit of a delay on that one no because hesitation well because jake i remember the powerpoint that you put together you and memes but memes name was not on our time that's past me as you mentioned idiot yeah idiot moron so yeah either way we can't fall for it i i think i'm gonna fall for it little bit okay well we're going to fall for it on thursday so here's one thing that i will trust pass me on do not believe the c words do not believe their lies right i am not going if i'm going to move off the chiefs i'm not going to the team in los angeles i'm not going to do that there was a report so what's my other option am i going to go with the broncos there was There was a report today that Sean Payton told Russell Wilson to stop with this Russell

Inc. bullshit.

He said, will you fucking stop kissing all the babies?

You're not running for office.

That might be an Epstein Island thing.

It sounds like something Bill Clinton used to do.

Yeah.

He should be standing with his dogs in the woods singing a song.

Would you rather be on the airplane that had the shit all over it or on the airplane going across the Atlantic with Russell Wilson doing high knees?

Definitely the shit.

We saw the shit, by the way.

It was exactly what I thought everywhere.

It was literally everywhere.

When people were like, how could this be a biohazard?

You had to know that it was diarrhea up and down the aisles.

Again, I believe this gentleman was probably.

I hope it was a gentleman.

The doctor is the mother. I don't know was are you doing that to me right now if it was i feel like it was a guy i would have come out as a guy women don't poop that's the thing so it has to be diarrhea yeah they do uh let's it was a guy it was definitely we think this is our misogyny showing i love like maybe the next barstool hit piece like, they're misogynist.
They didn't even think women could be the diarrhea biohazard person. It's 2023.
Okay. A bitch can clear out a plane.
Yes. So whoever this was, I think they were wearing shorts and maybe not underwear.
That's how it happened. It looks like judging by the splatter pattern, if we're putting on like our Dexter hats here, you ever seen that show, Hank Dexter? Well, you don't want to do the splatter pattern here? He judges the blood pattern and can tell you exactly how the murder went down.
I was analyzing it through Dexter's eyes and it looks like somebody got up out of their seat and then pooped and then ran down the aisle while pooping. With shorts on.
With shorts on. But I think it was a sprint and it reminds me of that old George Carlin thing..
There are certain things you will never see in your life that's a grown man running while taking a shit. I think on that plane, there was somebody sprinting down the aisle.
And as their ass was going back and forth, back and forth running, it was shooting left, right, like a sprinkler. Right.
And I also analyze this, watch the video many times. I think if we had to make a composite of the person it is a gentleman i would say about 230 to 50 pounds 5 8 ish wearing very loose fitting cargo khakis you know the loose ones and he's got if he's not if he's wearing underwear he's wearing the old school boxers the gas boxers you're almost describing pete prisco now a little bit but pete's not as heavy he's also not 5 8 yeah he's not he's definitely not 5 8 but i'm saying like there's enough movement in the shorts where it's the old school boxers that don't not boxer briefs that the splatter is allowed to go everywhere i would jackson pollock i was down the aisle.
I was with you until you said the cargo shorts. I think that that material is too firm.
I would say like athletic shorts, old school gym shorts. You got to remember this is a person going from Atlanta to Barcelona, probably the cargo shorts to keep the passports, the kids stuff.
Like he's probably, he's wearing maybe a fisherman's vest, like one of those dads. It was coming from Atlanta though, right? Yeah.
So it might have been jean shorts. We might be working with jorts here.
Although those also could be a little bit tighter to the. Yeah, it could have been a girl in short shorts.
No, no, no. What if it was a girl in like juicy booty pants? That would wreck.
I haven't ruled out the pilots either. Oh, just because of the length.
Like, how did it get it covered? It did somehow cover the whole point. What about it what about a stewardess the only way for it to cover the whole plane is if it started at the top are you not allowed to say stewardess uh you can say whatever i think it's steward stewardess it's a flight attendant oh an fa yeah what about an fa you can say you can say whatever it could have been it could have been an inside job that would make a lot of sense wouldn't it not enough details have come out where it makes me suspicious of a lot of things are we sure it wasn't a dog oh there's also dog emotional support and but one of the fake emotional support animals that people just bring on a plane they get a certificate online they're like oh yeah this is my dog i need him to fly it could be the dog because like the dog starts does the squat and then go, run, run, and then just starts pooping everywhere.

Dogs poop and run all the time.

Yeah.

This is the number one sports podcast in America.

Yeah.

We're breaking it down.

I mean, it was the number one story in the last 24 hours.

I think that's sports.

Yeah.

I'll tell you what.

This is a bad omen for the Jets.

Yeah.

I don't think it could start off any worse.

Uh-oh.

And the Browns.

And the Browns.

Both.

Yeah.

Both of them.

Bad. Fade both of them.
Yep. It's a bad combo memes.
You should be worried now. Oh, Hard Knocks.
Yeah, Hard Knocks is over. We watched it.
We totally watched it. Yeah, Hard Knocks.
So I'm in the habit of watching Hard Knocks about two days late during the weeks. I haven't watched after episode two, I have to admit.
It's not bad. It just makes you fall love with garrett wilson and you're going to get more rosy colored glasses with the jets because it does make you think that they can do something i still go back to the fact that the offensive line doesn't look great and it is hard to switch to a new team new system doesn't always work out do you know what it's a hard game big cat the the other guys they get paid money to play football too you know what it is for me is uh'm obviously, you know, all in on Aaron Rodgers.
Never said a bad thing about him. Might be a bit whatever watching it.
It's like I'm getting poisoned by the bit. So, like, if I have to watch more Aaron Rodgers and be like, oh, he's the best.
I'm going to start like my body's going to start rejecting it. You're at the stage where you're like, you know what? I really, really like smoking weed.
Yeah. But I need to stop because i like it so much right and i'm just gonna forget about everything else and i'm gonna my entire life is gonna be based around weed yeah like my brain is like oh this is funny to just reverse and troll packers fans and my whole body and everything that it's learned is like you can't like this guy so i have to keep my distance so that i can keep enough distance to be like, oh, yeah, I love Aaron Rodgers.
He's the best. If I watch him, I'm going to be like, wait, I fucking hate this guy.
Yeah, I remember. I remember everything that I hated about him.
Every flashback will start hitting me. Yeah, I'm very excited for this football season.
I don't remember the last time that I've been this excited. No way.
You don't say. I want to wrap my entire body up in saran wrap and bubble wrap and just make sure i make it through the next day and a half i think we're all like every football season at this exact moment uh i'm at 100 out of 100 it's every single year i'm 500 i don't think i've ever been more or less excited than i am every single i'm infinity out of 100 not only are these teams, cool new storylines, but also for the first time in 25 years, I actually get to be happy and proud of my own team that I get to root for.
That's true. The NFL fucking rocks.
Yeah, it's the best. It is the best.
It is the best. There was a story that just came out an hour ago.
Did you see this about the Dolphins quarterback coach, Daryl Bevel? No. So he suffered a detached retina during training camp this is from jory epstein after the surgery that he had he needed to lie face down for 90 of seven straight days so there's a picture that he sent to the team where he's just laying face down on his bed watching film on his tablet that's on the ground and he's just like hanging off the edge of his bed watching film mike mcdaniel showed the team this picture why a powerful message he told yahoo sports that it's you need you need to hurt like go to the ends of uh every health everything that a doctor ever tells you to just keep doing your job with football yeah this it looks like a milking table for your eyes yeah he's just staring down at the game the all 22 they do that and it's very funny when you say that because if you just change the perspective a little bit so he's a detached retina still doing his job being commended for doing his job if you made this like a twitter thread about a startup in san francisco there would be 10 000 uh twitter handles with roses in their handle being like this is toxic work culture well there would all that's just football baby there definitely would be 10,000 Twitter handles with roses in their handle being like, this is toxic work culture.

But that's just football, baby.

There definitely would be people being like,

I can't believe that you make your employees do this.

There would also be a bunch of guys with the NFT.eth things

being like, this is a fucking warrior right here.

This is a grind set mentality.

This is a grind set.

Never stop working.

Never stop the commitment. But why don't we just start having that debate because i would like to be on the side of the nfts and be like no it's football this is what we do well also if you look at it from like a zoomed out perspective this guy's laying in bed watching football yeah which rocks it's it's our job yeah we we just go couch this is the best like like i should be so lucky most i'd say 99% of people listening to this podcast would quit their jobs tomorrow if it meant that their job would now become laying in bed and watching football.
Oh, in a second. I mean, this is the time of year where we have to, like, as much as I get a little anxiety of, like, oh, I'm not going to be around on Sundays.
Everyone wants our job because we get to just watch every game on Sunday. But we have to the fucking best, but we have to sit up in chairs.
That's true. Like converse, like child, child laborers.
And bet. Oh, the horrors.
It's tough. We are no different than the minors, the nine year old minors.
It is a grind. Like 1902.
So America was America. So this is, it's a great picture.
We can only hope that that Darryl Bevel becomes the first coach to coach on the on the sidelines wearing an eye patch. Yes.
We almost had it with Mike Zimmer a few years ago when he got you remember his eye just get it kept getting worse and worse and worse. Yes.
He stopped watching film. Yes.
I would love it if Darryl Bevel week one on the sidelines wearing a Pirates eye patch. I mean, I would put a future on the Dolphins at yeah that's i mean they're they're willing to risk it all yeah in every capacity uh all right other things i'm just so excited am i back on football guy duty this season no who's doing it i think we're just gonna say football guy stories okay we're not gonna do it we're not we're not gonna do official football guy of the week we're just gonna be like this guy right here is probably football guy of the week.
Yeah, good question, though, Jake, because we're going to change a couple other things up. We're going to do on Fridays the preview.
We're going to preview every game. Instead of doing four picks each, what we're going to do is just everyone.
We're going to preview every game normally, and then at the end, everyone's going to give their best pick spread in total.

And there can't be any duplicates.

That will be the rules.

So we'll go around in a circle.

If your pick gets picked, then you got to go.

And then we have the punishment of a one-hour set in Las Vegas for the Super Bowl live show streamed.

I was actually, no joke, I was walking.

I was at the zoo with my kids, and there was a guy doing magic,

and I was in the back of my head i was like i might have to come back here and get this guy to teach me something you know i might have to he was doing a floating table it was awesome magic would be a good idea also just getting like a reptile handler or a bunch of animals to come out yeah and they just have animals join animals join you. Releasing just a bunch of crickets.
That would be great. Yeah.
Bees. I release bees.
Yeah. Here's my show.
Yeah. Everyone be careful.
I mean, it would be great. All right.
What other things? Any other stories that we should talk about? Okay, Max, we're just ready for football. I'm good.
Thank you. We all believe in the Lions on Thursday night, which is terrible for the Lions.

I'm going back on the Gremlin over three and a half field goal bets.

Last year, it was plus money.

It hit at like 71%. It was the best bet that I've ever made in my life.

Yeah.

So we're going to ride it.

We're going to ride it over field goals and the Lions money line.

Hank's back on his hungry dog.

I saw him tweet that.

It triggered me a little.

Why?

Because you know he's just going to pick against our teams every week. Oh, of course.
I know he's going to take the Cardinals week one. I know it.
I know it. It might be the hunger song in the league.
Shut the fuck up. You're such a bad.
Everyone's. Exactly.
You always say it's not personal, but somehow it's always personal. It's always.
You always find a way to make it personal. It's either against the commanders or against the the Can't Lose Parlay, which we'll be back.
I have a question about the picks. Yeah.
You can fade somebody, right? Yes, you just can't duplicate. So if my first pick is the Commanders minus seven, no one else can pick the Commanders minus seven.
So at the end of the year, are we going to have to... I'm thinking there's going to be strategies of if you're trying to catch someone, just fading whatever they pick.
No matter what. You're getting way too ahead of yourself.
I know. Just remember we all suck.
So we're all going to be like 40% at the end of the year. I also lose every single bet here.
I'm commanders minus seven. Can I just say that? Will you allow me to take commanders minus seven? We'll have to figure out who gets to go first.
I already put it in. We have to figure out who goes first.
This is my makeup for Texas Tech.

I'm doubling down.

Yeah.

Commies or bust.

Okay.

Well, hopefully you get first pick.

All right.

Now Hank's going to just take the committee.

He would never.

Hank would never do that.

Yes, he would.

He would do that to you.

Hank loves plus signs.

Oh, I'm so excited for football.

On the golf course and on his bet slip.

Also, for people who don't know, new listeners, Mondays shows, no guest. We'll be all football on the golf course and on his bet slip also for people who don't know new listeners Mondays shows no guest will be all football all the time we go through every single game which is great because you know there's a lot of a lot of teams that don't get any shine in the national media they just get forgotten after like two weeks basically the entire NFC South yeah we we find a way to make jokes about those teams for the entirety of the year and it's great and i'm very excited sunday what are you guys gonna wear on sunday what are we gonna eat i'm wearing what are we gonna eat on sunday i'm gonna wear a tux and my cheesesteaks we do we do have to figure out what we're gonna eat all day because it's a big like you can't fuck up the menu for week one this is a conversation that needs to be happening all across America with everyone and their friends.

This is important.

I think either chicken tenders, chicken tenders, cheese steaks.

Okay.

Well, we're going to have two meals.

Yeah, well, maybe three.

I like bacon ranch subs.

I like eating like a combo.

I like eating.

What is it? What is the big cat combo?

I didn't even know that existed until I saw the ad.

I'm not sure.

Yeah.

I like having one slice of pizza in between the early and the late games.

Just a little pizza that's just out that we can nosh on. Yeah, it keeps you awake.
It keeps you going in between the games. Yeah.
These are things that we have to think about. I'd like a root beer.
Can I get a root beer? I would also like a root beer. Okay, let's get some root beer.
I'd like a coffee. The Big Cat combo is a choice of cheesesteak, fries, and a drink.
All in one. You know, Big Cat loves that.
Yep. What is it? Fries? Your cheese steak of choice, fries, and a drink.
That is so insane, it just might work. Yeah.
A sandwich, fries, and a drink. It was a real big deal.
A hell of a deal, and everyone should go get a Big Cat combo. We got some marketing wizards.
If it was a real Big Cat combo, it would be two subs, one you put in the fridge, so you eat it halftime. If you want to get wild with it, get the big cat combo, but make it PFT style, which is where you take the fries and you put them on the sandwich.
Ooh, I like that. Yeah.
I like that. Yeah.
Pardonmycheesesteak.com. There we go.
The plug god. Add it again.
Okay, let's do Hot Seat Cool Throne, and then we have pete prisco dalvin cook jimbos and the worst draft we've ever done the pancake draft pancakes only so it's gonna we're giving shine to the offensive linemen we all drafted five offensive linemen it was a struggle it was a struggle i forgot field yates told us that offensive lines are pretty weak right now so it's actually not It's the league. That's the only reason why we weren't able to name five guys.
Yeah, exactly. All right.
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hank hot seat cool throne my hot seat is riley leonard oh yeah we shouldn't we we clemson fans were like oh thank god you guys recorded uh you know before the game ended we should you go but then we should we should bury clemson yeah so duke beat clemson upset uh and close game though right no not even close oh but clemson got the, so Duke beat Clemson, upset. Close game, though, right?

No, not even close.

But Clemson got the over.

No, they didn't.

Oh, 28-7?

Ooh.

At least Duke didn't storm the field on them.

They did.

Oh, no.

And then afterwards, Ryle Leonard, the quarterback,

had a great touchdown, running touchdown.

He was doing a press conference or interview after the game and said,

Professor Taylor, if you're seeing this,

please let me turn in my homework late because it's due tonight, I think at 12. Oh, and then Professor Taylor, which if you haven't seen the picture, look him up.
He just is the most professor looking. Do Professor Taylor of all time of all time.
He said, Wesley Williams and the other linemen who were in the class, they said they prepared ahead of time. So why didn't the quarterback? way man no extension what a dickhead yeah um that's an absolute dickhead that's the most duke story ever with the exception of duke winning at football yeah what a fucking asshole i don't like this guy you know what that tells me that tells me that that riley leonard was not prepared to win no that tells me he thought he was going to, and then he'd have time after the game to send it in.
Yeah. Clemson, though, done.
Dabo. It's so great burying Dabo.
I know Clemson fans will get upset. You have to understand, Dabo is not a likable guy.
You had your run, and it is kind of nice. If Dabo didn't say all the stuff about NIL and Transfer Portal, I would feel a little bit worse.
But he's so resistant to change when college football has so drastically changed in the last five years. It's kind of great to be like, dude, all you had to do was embrace it and realize that everything is changing around you.
You got to change. Like Nick Saban has always changed.
Yeah. So, I mean, Dabo doesn't want to change.
No. And so he's not going to.
If he did change, I'll say something nice about Dabo. He's not being as big a hypocrite as I expected him to be.
Yeah. So when he said, like, I didn't want to change, I don't want college football to be run by money, I'll quit.
Yeah, he didn't quit, but he did quit trying to do everything that he can to win. Right.
So he's not using the transfer portal. He doesn't like the mentality of just jumping around when you get upset.
But along with that comes losing. I also, the one thing I don't like whenever we talk about college football, it's a little different than the NFL where, like, the head coach is recruiting the players.
He's getting the best players. So when people are like, oh, it's not so easy.
Like you don't have Trevor Lawrence and Deshaun Watson. Well, Dabo does deserve credit for getting those guys.
It's kind of like the Dion when people are like, oh, well, he had better talent at Jackson State than everyone else. Like, OK, isn't that that's the point? Yeah, that goes along with you want to you want to get the best players now you have to ask was brent venables was he was he the real mastermind behind clemson question because i feel like you could make that argument yeah i think i might make that argument actually yeah go ahead and make that argument i'll make the argument because when brent venables left clemson started to suck yes so i just want to leave you with one last dabbo quote how quickly we forget i think this was just last year is in december we built this program on nil we really did swinny said it's probably different from what you're thinking though we built this program in god's name image and likeness yes all-time quote yep dabo he's just corny that's really what it comes down to.
It's hard to root for a guy who's that corny. You know? And also, some people bring up the fact that- They weren't paying God? They weren't paying God? Yeah.
Dabo also- No, they were using God's name, image, and likeness. That's worse than anything else.
I think he was paying God because he was doing baptisms after practice, right? Yeah. Splashing a little water.
Dabo uh like a treasure trove of memes that come back at him the the l running out with the l that's a memes classic memes classic running down the hill before his whole team him doing the tiktok the hickory dickory dock dabbo's on the tiktok yeah like all these just come flooding on the timeline and it's just a lesson to all the coaches out there if you're ever going to stop recruiting and doing transfer portal in NIL try not to be on TikTok as well yeah good point also very niche advice did you see that Dabo was upset because of how far the locker rooms are at Duke from the field oh no so he was starting to blame that I like that Dabo's the last guy that should do that because he makes his team get off a bus at the top of a hill and then follow him sprinting down it to go onto the field i kind of the the the journey from the locker room to the field should not have an impact for that team yes i i kind of like though like it's back to the shane beamer blaming the guys the chain gang eating hot dogs i kind kind of like when these coaches just become such like obvious babies because we know they're babies. But when they show their colors like that, it does tickle me a little.
What's that was buyout right now? Oh, oh, oh. Let's look that up.
I mean, the thing is, he is. He did win two national titles.
Yeah, he's not going anywhere. Clemson was not good or they couldn't get over the hump for the longest time he went and built that program to an insane level so he does some it's not that he's a bad coach some people would also point to the defensive line that one you're having a bunch of those ped positive tests dabo something interesting all right wait hold on i gotta draft my kicker i'm taking jake elliott i'm doing a draft right now.
Fuck yeah. Yeah.
Because I just don't recognize it. $64 million buyout.
$64 million. Word on the street is what I'm hearing, Big Cat, in NCAA circles is that Clemson is considering a buyout.
I like that they also detailed in the buyout here as if it gets cheaper. It's $64 million this year.
It drops to $60 million in 2024.

And then, get this.

This is discount.

$57 million in 2026.

I think they're going to wait through this season.

He's not going to lose his job.

No.

He's not going to lose his job.

But it is fun to root against Dabo when he loses.

Sorry, Clemson fans.

But you knew that.

It's part of winning. I'm a Cox man.
It's part of winning. If you win, the pendulum swings back.
Okay, Hank, your cool throne. My cool throne is pettiness.
This league, Alabama, Texas, big matchup this weekend. Last year they played, and Alabama's band did not travel to Texas because the Longhorns only gave their band upper deck seats.
And alabama's doing the same thing they said all 5 000 visitor tickets which includes seats for the band will be in the upper deck i love a good band rivalry i really do you remember a couple years ago when when purdue's giant ass drum couldn't fit into the stadium yeah instead to leave the giant big drum yeah the big drum yeah yeah i love i love band wars yeah and band people are the horniest. Oh, for sure.
It's not just the American pie like trope. I think Wisconsin had a huge scandal right around when I was there.
Just dildos and shit. Or hazing.
So if you think that Northwestern football had a hazing issue, look at band culture across America. I think they should just show up and go harder than ever.
Yeah. Alabama just not showing up.
Or no, Texas not showing up last year is kind of lame. No, Texas showed up last year.
Texas was in Austin. Alabama's band did not travel.
Yeah. So, yeah, I agree with you.
The Texas Longhorn band should just say, fuck it. We're going anyways.
Make them kick you out. I also, I stand with bands in college football.
I think it's a great part of the game. Yeah.
I love hearing when like Oklahoma or USC gets rolling and they just play that over and over

and over.

It's how you know you're watching college football.

Yeah.

It's great.

No, you don't like it?

The halftime.

I mean, it is what it is.

The halftime I don't care about.

No one watches the halftime show.

It's like the in-between plays.

Yeah.

The FSU war chant.

Is that Florida? That's kind of yeah yeah dude no is that lsu no what's the no what's that's the mess that's uh that's narcos yeah wait what's that's a bang texas goes yeah boomer sooner is the what do they play they play the i always fuck this up with usc no that's star wars that's no that's is that superman i think they do Oh no, I think they do. I think they do.
I need to listen to Boomer Sooner real quick.

It's Jurassic Park. Yeah, I was going to say.

Yeah. That's definitely.

Star Wars.

Star Wars. Yeah.
This is a lot of intro. I had the first note right.
Every first down when they're like scoring 60. All school fight songs are kind of the same.
Yeah, a little bit. They're all very similar.
I think they all have like very similar chord progressions. I'm going to get to work on that.
When you play with the trumpet and the trombone, they kind of all blend together. Yeah, that's true.
Yeah. You're either doing college football touchdown or ska.
There's really nothing else. Both great things.
Two of my favorite things.

That would be great if one team did a ska.

They usually do.

No, but for their touchdown song.

Yeah.

If you watch March Madness, though, every band, they're like, okay, let's do a fun one.

And they play Real Big Fish.

Yeah.

Or Take On Me.

Or the Real Big Fish version of Take On Me.

Whose cool throne is it?

That was my cool throne.

Oh, Jesus.

My other one was diarrhea, but we talked about that. You want to talk talk about it again i just wrote unidentified if it's a boy or girl oh so you were on that my only note you were on that early okay uh pft your hot seat cool throne my hot seat is obama yeah obama's on the hot seat uh friend of the program long time stoolie tucker carlson is having a guy on his show.
What's that? I thought Obama was the... Obama also, longtime Stooley.
Longtime Stooley. And AWL.
Yeah. So Tucker's having a guy on his show tonight that claims that he had sex with Obama back in 1999.
So Jake, we have to ask, does it matter if Obama had sex with this man in 1999? It does not matter. Good news for everyone.
Jake will be watching the entire interview and giving us spark notes on Friday's show. So you guys are giving me more.
So I want all the details. I'm going to go in fresh, open mind.
I don't know if he's gay or not, if he's had sex with this man or not. Jake, you have to just give us the facts, lay them out for us, and we will then make a decision.
I have not made up my mind, number one, about whether or not they had sex,

too, whether it matters.

So I need you to update me on that.

I'm waiting for facts to come out.

How do we want this presented?

PowerPoint just spoken or?

It's spoken.

Braille.

Spoken is good.

I don't know.

I kind of want a PowerPoint.

Just one slide.

Does it matter?

No.

You got to tell us the story about what happened yeah yeah but what yeah what's his deal okay top bottom who is you know he's gonna go into detail i assume yeah maybe make me a powerpoint for friday yeah i'd like to see a powerpoint okay thank you we cover it all on this show okay your cool throne pft my cool throne is Lyon,, France, Leon. I don't know how you pronounce it.
Leon. I'm going to go with Leon.
Leon. It's a good sports town.
Yeah. It's confirmed a good sports town.
So they lost against Paris Saint-Germain in the farmer's league four to one. It was a home loss.
And then after the match, they made their players stand on the field while their fans got microphones and berated them for their performance the coach k and the players had to sit there and listen to the fans tell them that they stunk that they were embarrassment to the jersey which is awesome i know i don't care about french soccer but i do care about american sports and accountability i would love to see this in the nfl yes yes how great would that be yes if they just if boltman was out there just berating brandon staley for not going for it on more fourth downs afterwards yes we need that it would be accountability is important awesome i don't just be a fan press conference it should be a fan press conference that the players have to listen to and yeah you are allowed to if you're not even a fan if you're just a gambler that lost money yeah you're allowed to publicly air your grievances with todd girley for taking a knee yeah yeah just just rip into them i love it i love this it's such a fun video um all right my hot seat is the angels for two reasons one is lucas giolito uh who was an angel when the angels were trying to go all in at the deadline uh is the first player since i think it's 19 uh i think it was actually 1898 i gotta find it uh he's pitched he's he's given up three eight earned runs for three different teams this year pretty impressive that is pretty cool hard to do he's done it three different times three different teams he started on the white socks went to the angels now is on the guardians the last one to do it was bill mcgee bill mcgee who you probably all know uh and bill mcgee is also he did it in 1897 bill mcgee's also famous for uh just disappearing no one knows where bill mcgee went he was just living. He retired from baseball, was living with his wife and kid, and then never came back.
And if you look up Bill McGee's age, it says that he's 148 years old. I have to imagine that it was pretty easy to do that back then.
Yeah. People could just move.
You move like two towns away. Yeah, you're just like, no idea what happened to that guy.
Going out for cigarettes. Yeah.
On the horse. And then the Angels also, because they had picture picture day today and they had a body double for shohei otani that seems racist well it was actually a white guy okay that's not racist yeah because that's actually that's very funny i think they literally were now i'm glad that they did yeah i think it when when they did body double i think it was literally a guy standing in a full uniform that they were going to then just put in shohei otani.
Okay, I like that. Yeah, I thought the same thing at first.
I was like, wait, what the fuck? And then I saw the guy because you could only see the back of him walking out of the clubhouse. And then they escorted him out of the stadium.
That's pretty sick, though, whoever got to be the body double for Shohei. There's a picture of him.
Oh, there is. Oh, yeah.
He's a white guy, right? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. That guy looks nothing like Shohei Otani.
No. So I think they're just doing a full Photoshop because I thought my mind went to the same place.
I was like, what the fuck? So where was Shohei? Injured. Injured.
Yeah. He can't stand for a picture.
No. His arm.
Sometimes they don't like they just like go off to rehab or something. I don't know.
I'm pretty sure he's playing again. Yeah, he's hitting.
Yeah, but he wasn't there. Either way, they're a clown organization through and through.
My cool throne is Max's favorite player, Trey Turner, because he just went on paternity leave, which is not remarkable except for the fact that it's exactly nine months to the day that he signed his $300 million contract. That is awesome.
That is the best sex of all time. I'm actually surprised that that resulted in a pregnancy.
Yeah. I would figure he'd be using all the holes.
Well, maybe Doggy. Yeah, Doggy.
Doggy usually gets pregnant. It shoots it deep.
Reminder for when he comes back where you guys sped on him to hit a homer. Oh, yeah.
Is the baby bump real in baseball? I don't know. He also just hits a homerun every game now.
Oh, after you cheered for him every single game he hits home wow is that true because you also claim that the phillies

were the hottest team in baseball since the all-star break and then i looked it up because

i was like i think the cubs are better and you were way wrong i was wrong i was wrong i was wrong

okay but the phillies are playing good baseball right now either way trey turner uh hottest team

in sports right three yeah hottest team in sports having 300 million dollar sex that rules like

Thank you. Either way, Trey Turner.
Hottest team in sports, right? Yeah, hottest team in sports.

Having $300 million sex, that rules.

Like, that was awesome.

It is pretty good.

Yeah, good for him.

Congrats, Trey.

Very happy for you.

All your accomplishments.

Biggest fan.

Paternity leave.

You should probably be back tomorrow.

I miss you.

But that's fine.

All right.

Trey Turner has hit three out of the last four games.

He's hit a home.

Four out of the last five, he's hit a home run.

That's pretty good.

But before that, he hadn't hit a home run in a month.

So every game.

That's not true.

Has he done any cool slides this year?

Oh, no.

He hit a couple. I love Trey Turner's cool slides.

Since the standing ovation, he's been insane.

Yeah, no.

He actually, Max is sort of right.

He's hit, looks like, seven home runs in the last eight games. That's pretty crazy.
Good job, Max. Thank you.
Fact checked. Correct.
Jake, finish this off. My hot seat is us as football fans.
Why? Because, unfortunately, Chris Mortensen is stepping away from ESPN. Oh.
People use the word legend all the time. He is a legend in the football media game jake's trying to take our 500 out of 100 excitement to 499 thank you jake no you're right i mean yeah chris mortensen the legend living legend great guy this is just like the most exciting time and you're like i was just like pumped for football i was pumped to like take my shirt off and it's done and beat my on the show good job mort send him off like a king yeah i like mort i like mort he is a legend i just like he shouldn't have retired right before football season he should have retired right after the draft and we would have been able to be like mort we we miss you we love you great job yeah he did it right before football season it's any news right now minus diary on an airplane is just a speed bump to thursday night it's truly does not even like register for me he also is big to flake gate oh go off go off hank you don't forget made up rumors yeah wasn't he the initial tweet 11 out 12 footballs.
Yeah. But great.
I'll miss you more. Great career.
Minus.

A. He just made up rumors.
Yeah. Wasn't he the initial tweet? Yes.
11 out of 12 footballs? Yeah. But great.
I'll miss you more. Great career.
Minus a completely false story that was just. Other than that, though.
Great career. You can't win them all.
Yeah. Yeah.
Great. Yeah.
This is a great tribute to Chris Morrison. Yes.
Great job. My cool throne is college basketball.
Marcel Invitational. Oh, God.
Let's go. He's back here in Chicago.
Yes. Unreal doubleheader.
FAU versus Loyola Chicago. Mississippi State.
Arizona State. Barstool.link slash Invitational for tickets.
Barstool.tv on Wednesday, November 8th. Yeah.
Bobby Hurley. We get to call a Bobby Hurley game.
It's fucking awesome. And a Sister Jean game.
And a Sister Jean game. And a Sister Jean game.
We'll hopefully be in the crowd. FAU.
PFT. You got to take a picture picture with her i might challenge her to rough and rowdy you might you should ask for a lap dance i should give her a lap right i know you should ask her yeah if i can do a lap dance yeah oh i'll i'll get her out of the habit so fast she'll be like i wasted my life as a nun how many listeners do you think we've lost on this episode specifically we haven't even got to the pancake i think sister gene would find me attractivemson fans are gone.
People who are like, I don't want to hear diarrhea talk for 15 minutes. People who love religion.
And again, we have not gotten to the pancake. Well, no, it has nothing to do with Sister Jean's more.
I'm not talking about anyone who's a family member of more. I'm not talking about her religion.
I'm just saying she would maybe think I was a Fox. Yeah.
Listen, if you fucked Sister Jean, that would be a hell of a story. It would be maybe the biggest sports story ever.
Let's fucking just be honest right now. It would be a hell of a story.
I mean, even if you got head from her. What is going on? The camera at the Barcelona invitation.
I feel high right now. This is ridiculous.
It pans up into the stands and Sister Jean and I'm like on my knees like Kanye West's wife in that boat. I think it was a perfect last pre-football episode.
Yeah. Yeah.
No, but that's a good plug. Yeah.
Go buy the tickets. We want to pack the house.
So it's in Chicago, Wintrust, where DePaul plays. Doubleheader, November 8th? Yes, Wednesday, November 8th.
So there's not going to be any football that's going to be, you know, we're competing against. Bands are in the balcony.
Bands are in the balcony. We'll see.
Rico Bosco will get probably 15 shots at a half-court shot. But, yeah, we're going to have a bunch of – same as last time.
It was awesome. We had a bunch of barstool personalities doing a bunch of shit.
So it's going to be great. Excited.
Pumped. Good plug.
And PFT is going to be getting head from Sister Jean in between games. Or giving.
Yeah, or giving. We'll see.
Oh, okay. I like it.
Hey, check misogyny off the box for us. We do it both ways here.
We'll lick that pussy.

Okay.

So Barstool Invitational, what is it?

Where can they buy tickets?

Barstool.link slash Invitational.

Max, would you titty fuck Sister Jean?

No, I would not.

Maybe he was giving a look.

One of his classic looks.

I mean, it would be funny if PFT blew Sister Jean's back. I thought he was going to say something like, we can't run this.
He's like, no, I got one more. I got one more.
I've been thinking about it. He's a Vince Carter meme.
I got one more in me. I've crunched the numbers.
I find this humorous. All right.
Let's get to our interviews. We've got Pete Prisco, then Dalvin Cook.
Pete Prisco is brought to you by our friends at Proper Number 12. Rich and Smooth, Proper Number 12 Irish Whiskey.
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Pour the roar. Order your bottle of proper number 12 Irish whiskey from from drizzly and again for every bottle sold a donation is made to support our brave first responders so they're giving back proper number 12 irish whiskey okay here he is pete prisco okay we now welcome on one of our favorite guests the fiery italian we call.
It actually ends the four-day Italian banishment from part of my take. Yeah, for Tom Franelli screwing over all our listeners.
But it is Pete Prisco from CBS Sports. He is one of our favorite guests.
He watches the film, and we're here to do an NFL preview as is tradition with Pete Prisco. Let's start here, Pete.
Give me your seven teams in the AFC that are going to make the playoffs. I want to start there and then we can work around the league, but it's a good litmus test to see where your head's at going into the season.
Okay. We'll start in the East where everybody else starts because it's Aaron Rodgers division,.
Buffalo will win the division. They're still the best team.
Okay. And the Jets have to learn how to win.
They haven't won anything. He has, and some of those old guys he brought with him from Green Bay, they have, but the majority of those guys have to learn how to win.
So I'm picking Buffalo in a division. Jacksonville's a slam dunk in their division.
And. And I, hmm, you went, hmm.
Yeah, no, keep going. We'll go back to that.
Okay. I just want, you know, it's a good way to start off to see who you like.
The Chiefs will win their division, and the Bengals will win their division. So there's the four division winners.
The wild card teams will be the Chargers, the Browns, and the Jets. Wow.
Interesting. But wait, you said the Jets have to learn how to win first.
Pete, you know football. You've been around this league.
I've always been told that first you have to learn how to not lose before you learn how to win. And the Jets don't know how to not lose yet.
Correct. They haven't won anything.
When was the last time the Jets were relevant? And granted, getting Aaron Rodgers changes the dynamic of the team, but you have to learn how to win. Big games, close games, and playoff games, they've done none of it.
How do you learn how to win? What does that look like? You do it once, and then you come back the next year, and then you really can do it. Okay.
For example, Jacksonville learned how to win last year.

Okay.

So, all right, let's start with Jacksonville.

I got a question for you because I know you're high on the Jags this year.

You're jagging off.

Now, obviously, they went to the playoffs last year.

They win a playoff game.

I'll just play devil's advocate for a second, okay, and then you can tell me where I'm wrong

because you watched the tape. The Jaguars were 3-7 last year going into their bye week.
They won a game against the Ravens, which was an impressive win. They got absolutely smoked by the Lions.
They then beat a Tennessee team that was on a downward spiral. They have that kind of weird lucky win against the Cowboys.
They beat terrible Zach Wilson a terrible Houston team and then almost lose to Josh Dobbs and the Titans uh in a win and get in game to end the season to finish nine and eight and win the worst division in in football what what what like did you watch that you're like this now is a slam dunk because it felt like if you watch it and you're like, oh, yeah, they played the Chiefs well in the playoff game. They made some noise.
They were pretty close to not even making the playoffs last year. Correct.
But remember, it took until midseason for the Urban Meyer enema to work for him. Okay.
They didn't get it all out until midseason. And finally, by midseason, it was gone.
All of it. All the crap that he brought was gone.
So then they went forward. Trevor Lawrence was comfortable and they became a good team.
But here's why they're a really good team this year to keep an eye on to go to the Super Bowl, which I think they're going to, by the way. Here's why.
Look at the schedule. They play six games in their own division, which is not good.
They play four against rookie quarterbacks. They play Carolina, so they have Bryce Young.
There's another rookie quarterback. Desmond Ritter's barely played.
Baker Mayfield, Derek Carr. That's their non-division opponent in that division.
And their tough games are at home too, right? Well, you get Kansas City where it'll be 140 in week two. You get Buffalo in London, which is actually a road game for the Bills.
You'd rather play Buffalo in London than playing in Buffalo. That's true.
So the schedule's favorable. If they don't win 13 games, it's a disaster.
By the way, they're going to score 500 points.

Whoa.

500 points and 13 games minimum.

Wait.

PFT told me that you were high on the Jags.

I didn't think it was going to be like this.

Oh, yeah.

No, Super Bowl.

Are they going to win the Super Bowl, Pete?

Is that what you're saying?

No.

Oh, okay.

Well, man, that was close.

That would be crazy.

But their offense is – what Calvin Ridley will mean to that offense is going to change the way they play. Okay.
And they're going to score a ton of points. Have you ever been this high on the Jaguars ever? In 99 when they choked.
Okay. What about their defense, Pete? Okay.
They have two high picks as pass rushers. Trayvon Walker, number one overall.
Josh Allen was top ten. It's time.
And when you play with the lead, your pass rushers become better. They'll be good enough on defense.
They're not going to be great on defense. They'll be good enough on defense.
Okay. That's fascinating to me, Pete.
Jaguars, Super Bowl. Yeah, because this is – no, I asked the AFC question because it is absolutely stacked.
And you have Burrow, Allen, Mahomes, all these guys. You left out the Ravens, the Steelers, and the Dolphins of the playoffs.
Why are those three teams not going to make the playoffs? Well I think those divisions are going to cannibalize each other and that's another reason why Jacksonville has a big advantage. Look at the AFC North.
I'm with you. Any one of those teams can win it.
So they're going to beat each other up. The AFC East, Miami, Buffalo, the Jets, they're going to beat each other up.
Out west, the Chargers are a really good team. And then who knows what Sean Payton will do with the Broncos.
I don't think they're going to be great, but they can be better. So that's why Jacksonville has a big advantage over the rest.
They might not be the best team, but all you have to do is get home field advantage and win two playoff games. So Pete, talk to me about the Broncos because you are a noted Russell Wilson hater.
You think that he's the worst quarterback in the NFL, that he never should have been drafted. No, that's what you said.
I read your articles. And you watched the tape.
You watched the tape, confirmed. But you don't think that Sean Payton can fix him.
You probably think he's just – is Russell Wilson unfixable?

Yeah, to ever be the quarterback that everybody thought he was, yes.

He's never going to be that.

He never was that.

He was a good, functional quarterback who had the top-ranked scoring defense

four straight years in the league.

The last team to do that was the 50s Browns, which was a dynasty.

They made it easy on him.

Then he had a couple good years, and then he was done. So with the Broncos broncos though they're going to have one of the best defenses in the league though yeah i wouldn't say that so if if russ wilson can be average to above average the broncos should be a good team if he's above average they'll be a better team they can get nine games okay i mean he was a disaster last year he was he was terrible he was so in the in the afc what if if not the jags who who is the pick because i don't you're really way too high on the jags i'm gonna say it right now maybe we'll we'll play this back and you were the truth i don't say they're the best team right now right the schedule will make them get the number one seat okay and if they play the chiefs buffalo buffalo and the chiefs are going to be right in the mix again why everybody is sleeping on the bills i have no idea i don't get it pft and i actually had this conversation because obviously our listeners don't love the fact that we love josh allen so much and we are biased towards josh out and the bills but i don't remember a team that was as dominant as they were last year where they were 14-3, or 13-3 because they didn't play that game against the Bengals, where their losses were by a score or less, and yes, their game against the Bengals was atrocious in the playoffs, but that doesn't mean they're all of a sudden a bad team.
They were dominant last year. By the way, I was on that Josh Allen bandwagon with you guys a long time ago.
That's facts. When he came out of Wyoming.
That's facts. And everybody killed that kid.
They were just brutal on him. And so what he's done is amazing, and I agree with you.
Look at that team. He's going to be that much better because he was good last year.
People think he turned the ball over because they ran him too much. That's part of the problem.
They'll be better running the ball. Kincaid will help open up the passing game in the middle of the field.
Then you go to the defense. Leslie Frazier was vanilla.
He played a vanilla defense. They didn't attack.
Sean McDermott will attack more, and I think that's going to be better for the defense. Sleeping on the Bills is just dumb.
They're going to win the division and be in the mix again to go to the Super Bowl I like it you didn't mention the Patriots you haven't said the word Patriots yet you mentioned every other team in that division you're totally out on the Patriots I mean you look at that roster oh it's bad the offensive line isn't good the questions about Mac Jones the receivers I like the Mario Douglas but that I think he a good player, but he's a rookie. Defense, they have some talent on that side of the ball.
They'll be feisty. But do you see Mac Jones taking an enormous step forward? No.
And so they're the worst quarterback team in the division, which is going to be a problem for them. So hot seat Bill Belichick.
That's ridiculous. That guy can go out whenever he wants to.
You just said the Jags are going to go to the Super Bowl to the super bowl you're ridiculous i think that's way more ridiculous that is ridiculous they're gonna fire bill belichick no i just said hot seat that doesn't mean they have to fire him it just means that we get to talk about them firing hot seat he can he can you know what he has to do if if craft came into his office and said hey we're thinking about put you know making a change or something you should to all the skins on the wall and say, look what I got you here, buddy. Come on.
Okay. Kraft could go in there and be like, hey, Belichick, you're fired.
And Belichick would be like, no. Yeah.
And Robert Kraft would be like, okay, fair enough. Yeah.
Good talk. Probably.
See you next year. I'm going to cut you, Kraft.
Yeah. Part of my take is sponsored by BetterHelp.
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That's betterhelp.com slash PMT. And now here's more Pete Priscoisco.
All right so what about a team that I'm high on that you don't have in the playoffs the Baltimore Ravens I do think Todd Munkin and that offense are going to be humming they finally have receivers Zay Flowers Odell Beckham we'll see what happens with everyone else I think Rashad Bateman's already hurt why are you saying the Ravens are not going to be a playoff team? I'm with you on the offense. Todd Monk is a great offensive mind.
I think he's going to really help Lamar Jackson become a better passer. And you're right, they're going to score points.
I worry about the defense. There's injuries in the secondary already.
It's not a great secondary. They need their pass rushers like Ojabo to take the big step forward.
Those are big questions. i worry about the defense not so much the offense i'm with you i think they're gonna score a ton of points i think lamar jackson's gonna be phenomenal in that offense but i worry about the defense okay okay that's fair um now on the nfc side of things we can get your playoff teams in a second but i i just want to point out something that will be alarming to some of our listeners you have the lions in your power rankings everyone pays attention to the pete prisco power rankings bible for me you have the lions at 15 ahead of the lions you have the packers you put the packers ahead of the lions you put the cowboys ahead of the lions you put the browns ahead of the lions you put the commanders ahead of the detroit lions we're detroit lions uh supporters we like Goff.
We like their coach. It sounds like you're a hater, Pete.
Why are you hating on the Lions? I'm not a hater. I'm with you on Jared Goff.
In fact, you guys, one time I went there and talked to him in training camp, and he brought up an interview that I had with you guys. He's well aware.
Yeah. I love Jaredoff.
I just think there's another team. What have they ever won? You have to learn how to win.
This is the year. You try and figure it out.
Then next year, I think they're going to be a much better team. I almost respect what Pete's doing here.
He's saying if you haven't already been good, then you're one year away. You can always be one year late to supporting a team, but you're never going to be one year early.
So he's not hating either. No, he's remembering the facts.
Yeah, right. I'm not hating.
I just think the expectations are out of this world for that team. They really are.
You have the Jaguars going to the Super Bowl. Who else does? No one.
No one. Yeah, this is why

you're the best. Alright, so give us the

NFC playoff teams, which is definitely

harder to do because it does

feel like if you had, I think the

AFC has probably 10 teams

that I could see conceivably

winning the Super Bowl. The NFC might

have two or three that I can

conceivably see winning the Super Bowl. So give us

the seven playoff teams from the

NFC. Division

winners, Eagles,

We'll be right back. have two or three that I can conceivably see winning the Super Bowl.
So give us the seven playoff teams from the NFC.

Division winners, Eagles, Packers.

Yes, the Packers are winning that division.

The 49ers and the Saints.

That's the division winners.

Wild card, Dallas, Washington.

Yeah, no, Pete's right about all these takes. And the Lions.
On the money. Okay, okay.
What is it with the commanders that you love? You look at that roster, that roster is loaded. And if you can rush with a front four, and Chase Young's going to have a big year when he gets back on that field.
He's going to have a big year. That defense is going to to be nasty Forbes is really good at corner to elevate the back end Curl's the most under one of the most underrated players in the NFL you go to the offensive side they've improved the offensive line and the receivers are playmakers and I think Sam Howell's better than people give him credit for yep I think he's he's going to have a good year for them it can't't be any worse than they were a quarterback the last couple years.
True. Taylor Heineke was all right.
Carson Wentz, that was just a disaster. He's painful to watch.
He's not going to play this year, is he? No. Maybe he'll play in that spring league next year.
I'm actually with you on the commanders. I think they're going to be better than people think.
I disagree about Chase Young though. I feel like the wheels are coming off with Chase Young.
He can't stay on the field. I think it's been proven that Montez Sweat is a more effective more productive player than Chase Young when he's playing.
And yeah, he's in a contract year, but I think in Chase Young's own mind he's almost like in take care of my body so i can cash in mode but i don't think he's done that calculation correctly yeah doesn't work he hasn't done the calculation correctly because he has 13 sacks he hasn't been out there on the field he's gonna get him yeah he's gonna get him okay all right so teams you left out giants you're not a you're not a believer in the giants they added darren waller they obviously paid paid Daniel Jones. Brian Dable, I think, is a top 10, maybe top 5 coach for just what he did last year.
Why are you so low on the Giants this year? No, I'm not low on them. I just think that division's tough.
And if you're going to put Washington in, that means the Giants are out. I don't think both of them can be in.
The Giants are going to win seven, eight games. They're going to be a competitive team.
I don't think both of them can be in the Giants are going to win seven eight games and they're going to be a competitive team I don't think they're going to be much worse but they they also have some issues they got two rookie corners starting that's tough that's always tough so there are issues with the Giants and by the way I'm a big dable guy I think he's a great coach okay and now I I don't want to ask this question but I have to ask this question because i feel like you're going to give me an answer i don't like justin fields no you're going to like this answer okay i think this is the year before the year for justin fields they added some weapons they added some weapons for him he's going to improve as a passer he's going to run less yeah as the rushing yards come down the passing yards go up that's a good thing for a young quarterback. I love where they're headed.
This is the year before the year. Do you know what's great about Pete? We're doing this year's preview and next year's.
We don't have to have him back on next year. He's giving us all the teams next year.
You always got to peek ahead. Yeah.
Come on. That's the way this thing is done.
I mean, I do think he's going to have a much better passing year just because, you know, people obviously pick him apart. He's a controversial quarterback.
But the fact that he was – the guys he was throwing to last year, DJ Moore makes everything so much easier, and it also slots in the guys behind him to play their natural position of Darnell Mooney, Chase Claypool, you know, Cole Komet. Like, I do think he's going to have a lot better year.
I'm worried about the defense, the pass rush, but I think Justin Fields, he's going to do enough this year to get that extension and everyone's going to be like, yeah, this is the franchise guy. I think he's a good passer when he has weapons.
We saw that in college. For everybody that picks him apart because he ran so much, look, I hate running quarterbacks, but you have to do it at a necessity sometimes, and he did.
Now he'll develop and stay in the pocket and go through his progressions and his reads. His rushing yardage will come down by two-thirds.
Okay. He'll rush for 500, 700, 600 yards.
And then what about the Vikings and the Seahawks? You have them out as well, two teams that made the playoffs last year. Well, the Vikings won so many close games last year.

Were they that good?

You know, when you win that many games, everything goes your way.

I do like Brian Flores as a defensive coordinator.

But, again, Kirk Cousins in the big moments.

Don't you worry about that.

If you're a Vikings fan, they have to.

But there's two sides to this, Pete.

So you're saying that you don't trust the Vikings because they learned how to win too well last year. They spent all last year learning how to win.
Gotcha. Right? Maybe they weren't that great, but they got an A-plus in learning how to win.
So now they're educated in that. Well, they won to get to the playoffs, but they didn't win in the playoffs.
So they didn't learn quite how to win a playoff game. Kirk Cousins had a problem winning playoff games.
He does have a problem with that, yeah. What about the Cowboys? They know how to win regular season games.
They don't know how to win playoff games. Does Dak suck? No, he doesn't suck.
But this is a big year for Dak Prescott. It's a big year for Mike McCarthy.
They have to make the postseason. If they don't make the playoffs, Mike McCarthy's probably gone, and gone and dak prescott is in trouble so yeah he has to play well so i trust that defense but there's something about about the combo of mccarthy and dak that just i feel like the wheels are going to fall off this year i feel like this is going to be the the end of this era for the cowboys why does everybody pick mike mccarthy apart i mean if you look at his record and the way he's had success over the course of his career, he's no different than Sean Payton, and yet Sean Payton's elevated up here and Mike McCarthy's down here.
I don't know the answer to that, Pete. You know the answer.
It's fat. He's fat.
He's a big guy. He's fat.
So when he makes mistakes, he looks dumber. Yeah, no, he has that look.
Yeah, like Pieti's saying, when he fucks up, he he's fat and he has that look like he's just staring off into the distance being like what is going on right now sounds like there's like a tuba playing whenever he's on screen yeah boom boom mike mccarthy might be the most misunderstood guy in the nfl everybody look you look like you just described him he said they're like that mike mccarthy's a tough tough guy from Pittsburgh. He isn't what you think he is.
No, I know he's tough. I'm just saying, look, it's just how the world works.
When fat guys make mistakes, they get blamed a little bit more because everyone's like, look, his fat, dumb brain isn't working. I have to deal with it all the time.
Yeah, me too. I've had it my whole life.
Yeah. Little fat guy.
Well, no, when you make a mistake make a mistake it's like oh the short guy's trying to take over Europe again yeah that's that's that's that's what you get yeah yeah um all right so why are you low on Geno Smith I'm actually I've become a converted Geno Smith believer his weapons are incredible uh you know DK Tyler Lockett Lockett, Jackson Smith, Njigua,

like they're going to be able to pass the ball.

Why are you not believing?

And, by the way, the Seahawks defense,

like they have some phenomenal young guys on their defense.

The young guys.

Yeah, they're young guys.

And if they take a step forward and Geno plays like he did last year,

they could replace one of those teams.

I had a hard time, you know, with the last wild card team.

They're going to be in the mix because I'm with you. But Chino's got to show he can do it again.
Okay. Yeah.
Yeah, that's true. Can you give us a quarterback that maybe nobody is expecting anything out of that you think is either going to take that next step or surprise everybody? I think Sam Howell's going to surprise everybody.
I do. Yeah, so did you watch his tape from North Carolina? Yes.
So he had that really good second to last season, and then they made him run the ball more in his last season. I don't understand what they did with him.
And he had playmakers outside. I never quite understood what they did with him.
I'm telling you, he has a little chip on his shoulder, too. He's one of those guys.
The other quarterback that's going to surprise everybody, Jordan Love.

Oh, I don't like that.

I don't like that.

The thing I don't like about Sam Howell, though, is I don't know if you know this, Pete.

He doesn't eat red meat.

Neither does Justin Fields.

Yeah, it's a big question mark.

We should do that in solidarity with our guys.

Just stop eating red meat?

I would never do that.

So he doesn't eat a lot of things, though, right, Sam Howell. Sam Howe, I don't know.
I know that he eats chicken. He eats a lot of chicken.
And he tried steak for the first time this offseason. He said it was okay.
But he doesn't eat it, eat it. And I feel like that's a red flag for a quarterback.
He's trying to be healthy. Justin Fields is a vegetarian, I think, isn't he? He eats fish now.
No big deal. Oh, he does.
So he advanced to the fish in the water. Okay, I get it.
How about shellfish? Does he eat that too? Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure he's housing some lobster every now and then, some crab.
Going through your whole life eating leafy greens? Yeah. I mean, come on.
It's no way to live. No.
What about Deshaun? Are you a believer in Deshaun? Would you last a weeky greens no i don't i i think about my diet and i'm like what there hasn't been a day in probably 20 years where i didn't have some type of meat i don't eat a lot of meat i'll be honest with you i don't need a lot of meat that's a lie you eat it you get fat shamed every saturday by booger yeah i know what he does to you it's bullshit and that's a lie can a man eat a couple donuts you you wash you wash your you brush your with Italian sausage. I know you, Pete.
I know you well. He showers with gravy.
Yeah. Oh, you guys went there.
Well, actually, Pete, maybe if you ate some more meat, you'd be a little bit stronger. You'd be able to do more push-ups.
I've heard that your push-up game has been lacking recently. No, I'm not lifting hard anymore.
I'm done with that. The doctor told me to quit it.
Oh, okay. All right.
So wait, Pete, I want to do this real quick because you do watch the film and this is educational for our listeners and viewers uh let's rank some position groups give me your top three offensive lines in the nfl eagles okay uh the cowboys when they're healthy okay everybody's got to be healthy the Chief Chiefs. Ooh, okay.
What about second? Because the Chiefs' interior is outstanding. They paid a bunch of money for Juwan Taylor at right tackle when they got a veteran at left tackle, Smith.
So I think that that's one of the best lines in length. Are you concerned about the Chiefs' defensive line? Very much so.
If Chris Jones is not there, major problem. because he's the game wrecker makes everybody else better they have problems and so yeah if he's not there very concerned so it's a very it's very concerning for you the Detroit Lions also have a very talented offensive line they're matched up against the Chiefs week one but you're a Detroit Lions hater so you don't think have a shot? No, they have a shot, but I just think Mahomes is going to be Mahomes,

Andy Reid's going to be Andy Reid, and they're going to score

a boatload of points. He proved last year.
He could throw

to us three and score points. That's true.

They're going to score a lot of points. Alright, so give us the

reverse, actually. Let's do it this way.
Bottom

three offensive lines, because these are the teams

that we should all be selling on

and fading, because offensive line play

is so important. Who have the three weakest

offensive lines? New England's

one of them. Okay.
Their line

Thank you. that we should all be selling on and fading because offensive line play is so important.
Who have the three weakest offensive lines? New England's one of them. Okay.
Their line stinks. Miami's line is concerning.
Okay. And Tampa Bay could be a problem.
Okay. Okay.
What about Deshaun? You think that this is bounce back here for Deshaun? I do. I don't think it's going to be Deshaun from the Houston days in terms of what he does on the field.
But he's going to be much better than the guy we saw last year. That team has a ton of talent across the board.
If he plays anywhere close to what he did in Houston, which is why I think he will, I think there'll be a playoff team. Okay.

What about, give us your best and

worst defensive lines.

Best and worst defensive. Well,

Arizona's defensive line is a problem,

but you can say that about every position

with that team. A problem in

a bad way, not in

a problem to game plan against.

They're tanking.

No, it's a bad way. They're tanking

in Arizona. I don't care what they say.

Thank you. Yeah, but you know what? They said the same thing about Shane Steichen after his opening press conference.
I don't buy into all that.

How does he portray himself?

There's team meetings and everything.

No, I don't.

We have no idea.

Okay.

All right. Other two, give us some more defensive lines, both good and bad.

Defensive lines that are really good.

Yeah.

49ers.

Yeah.

Great defensive line.

The Cowboys have a chance to be really good on the defensive line. Now that Parsons is playing with his hand down, most of them are on the edge.
I'm just trying to think off the top of my head. Oh, the Jets.
The Jets are loaded on the defensive line. Yeah.
And Quinton Williams is a superstar, but they have a ton of players they can rotate in and out of there. They're going to come after people.
What do you think about the Jets' offensive line?

Problem.

Problem.

Good problem.

You're asking an aging left tackle to hold up,

and you got Mekhi Becton at right tackle, which is still a major question mark.

So they have issues on that offensive line.

All right, can you power rank the rookie quarterbacks?

One, Bryce Young.

Okay.

Two, from an excitement standpoint, Anthony Richardson and then C.J. Stroud.
And then Will Labus. I think C.J.
Stroud will have the best year of the rookie quarterbacks. I think Bryce Young will have the best career of the rookie quarterbacks.
Why do you think that? I think Bryce Young has a lot. It's going to be tough for the Panthers this year, and I think C.J.
Stroud is going to be better in this year and this year only. So I think Anthony Richardson is going to have like a Justin Fields type of year where he rushes for 900 yards and makes plays that way.
So from that standpoint, I think he's going to put up big numbers in the rushing game, which will help make him the better player than CJ Stroud. Stroud's a better passer right now.
What about the Steelers? We haven't really talked about the Steelers at all. It feels like they're flying under the radar this year.
Nobody expects anything out of them. People forget Mike Tomlin has never gone under 500.
They're right there. I mean, like I said, they could win the division.
Anybody can win that division. I i'm a big picket guy and i think he's gotten a lot better you saw that in this in this summer he's much more confident and i think they're going to be they're going to they can push for the division they can be a playoff team it's just you got to put teams in and out yeah you guys have the steelers in the playoffs uh yeah and one of my picks that i did yeah in the af, my playoff teams are Bills, Jets, Dolphins, Steelers, Ravens, Bengals, Chargers, Chiefs, Titans, and Jaguars.
Those are my playoff teams. Okay, you got them all in.
Yeah, yeah. No, it's going to be a great year for the AFC.
They're going to be the first. It'll be like college football.
Everybody makes it. Yeah.
Yeah, there should be bowl games in the NFL. We've talked about that before.
How great it it be if they tapped in one game at the end of the season? Yeah. There used to be a loser.
You know, there used to be a loser's bowl back in the day. Really? The third place game? I would love to play in that.
It was the two losers from the conferences would go play a loser bowl in Miami. Yeah.
I love that idea. We shouldn't talk about bowl games around Pete because his team can't go to a bowl game.
Oh, why not, Pete? What happened? They're not very good anyways. But even if you were good, you wouldn't go to a bowl game.
Well, I wouldn't go to me. I wouldn't go to a bowl game if you paid me to go to a bowl game unless it's playing for a national championship or something.
What are you going to go see? The Tostitos hot dog bowl or whatever they call them. That would be a great bowl game.
It sounds good. I would go to that.
Don't you guys have a bowl game? It sounds like an awesome menu item at Bob Evans, the Tostitos Hot Dog Bowl. Bowl games are fun.
Put a little hot dog in it. Yeah.
Well, to be fair, Big Cat's being a little bit unfair to you, Pete,

because that's a self-imposed bowl game suspension.

So you guys would probably make one, but you're just saying, hey,

for the record, we're not going to go.

They're not making one either.

They beat Southern Utah 24-21 the other day.

Today wins a win.

Can you imagine going to that game?

There was a two-and-a-half-hour delay.

You're winning 24-7 or something, and then they come back. two it got over at one o'clock in the morning arizona time all right so p give me your uh your offensive player of the year and your defensive player i like this is it mvp or offensive player of the year offensive player of the year he said the question correctly okay justin jefferson will be the offensive player of the year and micah parsons will be the defensive player we are doing last year's picks this year and then

we're previewing next year's picks this year yes so okay for next year

you really want me to go yeah you gotta peek ahead it's like doing a salary cap you gotta

look ahead all right so here's here's a question I got for you, Pete.

What is the next zag in the league when it comes to how teams play?

How do you see some team figuring out a way to play against how football has gone,

where it's passing all the time and these wide-open offenses?

What is the antidote to that?

Is there a team specifically and a scheme specifically that you see coming along the pipeline? No, running the ball is going to come back. Running backs aren't going to come back, but running the ball is going to come back.
Everybody's played, the schemes last year were off coverage. Make quarterbacks be patient.
So what do you do? Pound it, pound it, pound it it and it doesn't necessarily have to be out of those bunched up formations but you run the ball get them out of that defense and then throw over the top so I think I think the running attacks will come back in vogue a little bit this year I like that yeah um Pete you know there was a lot of talk this offseason about running backs and how it's the death of the position and they're not getting paid anymore. And everyone's wondering when did this happen? How did this happen? It's actually you.
You were the first person that I remember saying never pay a running back any money whatsoever. Do you feel bad that you've taken food off of Jonathan Taylor's table? No, I said that, what, a decade ago? Maybe even longer than that.
Yeah. They decide super bowls they just don't they're interchangeable and the great one isn't that much difference than the next guy down the list it's just different it's a different game now i would disagree so yeah am i responsible yeah they just caught up to me the nfl gm's finally up to me.
They usually do. I'm a little ahead of them.

But think about it this way.

Derrick Henry, if Derrick Henry has

if he wasn't on the Titans for the last three seasons,

they would be a bad

team with an average running back.

But they had Derrick Henry, who's the best in the league,

and they were a playoff team because of him.

And they got what?

Did they have a parade in Nashville?ville i missed did i miss a parade

they don't win super bowls i think the last first round pick to win a super bowl as a homegrown runner was jamal lewis maybe i don't think he was a first room i, it's been a long time. So when

the Lions took

Gibbs and

the Falcons

took Robinson in the first round, did you

throw up?

Yes, I did.

It was disgusting. You take a running back that

high, look, and they're good players,

but what's the philosophy?

Draft them,

run them into the ground, and then four years later, you draft another one and don't pay that one. Look at the Chiefs.
The Chiefs found Pacheco in the seventh round and won a Super Bowl with him. You don't need a premier elite running back, and that's why they're not getting paid.
Who's the last guy to get paid, Elliott? Oh, well, Christian McCrey christian mccaffrey yeah he's he's a little different there which is why the gibbs pick is interesting because he's an airback he catches the ball they can slot him out they can like mccaffrey does it's a little different different style runner uh what's a team that everyone's low on that you could see maybe not maybe they're not even a playoff team but being they're better than what people

are prognosticating

going into the season

Green Bay

okay that hurts

okay why you like I knew you didn't like

that you like Jordan love why do you like Jordan

love you know

his tape coming out was great

I'll be honest with you I didn't love. I think sitting for three years has helped him.
And going there and watching him practice this summer, and I know it's just practice, but he's got a different feel to him. And then talking to the players, he's got a little of that crap inside of him that you didn't know he had.
So I think that combined with the fact has a good arm he's comfortable in the offense the defense is going to be really good by the by the way and if the offensive line stays healthy and again big if with bakhtiari at left tackle they're going to be good up front so i think it's i think they have the talent to win that division and christian watson is going to put up monster numbers yeah he's a problem he He is a problem. I keep going to the fact that you have the Jaguars in the Super Bowl this year.
Trevor Lawrence for MVP, too. We love Jags fans.
We do Jag off every year. It seems like we Jag off, and then they never finish.
We get close, but we never finish, and I hope that you're right for Uncle Chaps and the rest of Jaguars Nation out there. It would be very funny to see them in the Super Bowl.
And if they won a Super Bowl, I feel like you have to give a ring to Urban Meyer. No.
That's been the animal work. He's the architect of this team, Pete.
He isn't the architect of the team. No, he isn't.
He built this team. It was a disaster.
He was one of the worst NFL coaches I've ever seen in my entire life and the stories are just endless that come out of there about that guy yeah do you have an Urban Meyer story that we haven't heard yet because I love whenever it feels like every six months we get another Urban Meyer story no I mean I know some but I know my personal interaction with him wasn't great what was that I went I went up there. I didn't know him.
I didn't know him at all. But I went up there and was going to try and get him on camera for an on-camera interview, and they didn't make him available.
And what happened was they said, okay, you can walk over to him and say hello to him and introduce yourself. So I walked over.
I said, hey, I'm Pete Prisco. I shook my hand.
I used to cover this team years ago. Used to live here for there where you're living, just making small tar.
I said, I work with Brady Quinn who works with him at Fox. Oh, okay.
Okay. And then I was going to ask him some football questions and he shakes my hand and he goes, I got a win.
And he ran off. Oh, I got a win.
I got a win. I got a win.
And he ran off. That's great.
It was so he the most socially awkward guys I've ever talked to in this league. I'm going to start using that to get out of conversations.
I got to go win. Hey, real quick.
Sorry. Great talking to you, but I got to go win real quick.
I'm like, what? I went back and told the guy standing over there. I go, you can't believe he just did that to me.
What an awkward man. All right, Pete.
Well, we appreciate the time. We got to go win.
Yeah, we got to go win. I got one last question.
The Roback question. R-H-O-B-A-C-K dot com use promo code TAKE.
20% off your first purchase. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts.
Roback dot com promo code TAKE. Give us the final four and your Super Bowl champion because you have the Jags but we don't know who's going to win the Bowl, according to Pete Prisco.
My final four is the Jacksonville Jaguars against the Buffalo Bills. Okay.
The San Francisco 49ers against the Philadelphia Eagles. Okay.
49ers beat the Eagles in San Francisco because they have a favorable division. And Jacksonville beats Buffalo in Jackson and then the 49ers Kyle Shanahan finally wins his ring and is anointed best coach in the league yes by the way one bone to pick with you two I made that comment about kickers on your show and next thing I know you're selling shirts with my slogan on it what was the slogan make kicks.
Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, you make a lot of sense. You need to send me one.
Checks in the mail. We'll send you a shirt.
Yeah. What size do you wear? I'd rather have the shirt.
Okay. Well, great, because that check was going to be for like $30,000.
No, it wasn't. I guess I'm told.
Too bad, Pete. You got the shirt.
We'll make you an extra extra one i was like door number one or door number two

i got this shirt instead of the 30 grand yeah we'll throw in an extra shirt being like i i

passed 30 000 i passed up 30 000 and all i got was this shirt it's perfect you'll be selling that

too yeah true all right pete you're the best we'll talk to you again during the season thank you for

the hot takes uh go find pete on twitter and cbs sports he is the best uh thanks so much pete

Thank you for the hot takes. Go find Pete on Twitter and CBS Sports.
He is the best. Thanks so much, Pete.
Okay, time for our interview with Dalvin Cook and shout out to Body Armor. Body Armor helps us stay hydrated throughout our interviews with the biggest guests in the world.
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And now here here's dalvin cook okay we now welcome on a very special guest one of the best running backs in the nfl it is newly minted new york jet dalvin cook uh we are a pro running back podcast i want to start there dalvin i want to actually begin with uh did you join the zoom when all the running backs decided to get together on a zoom and be like why aren't we getting paid enough money yeah i was part of that the whole thing okay and what was we were we were joking about it because we're like i don't really know like at some point you have to join a zoom it feels like it's work now uh did we get any progress because we're if you have a message that we need to say to everyone about the running backs we're here to do that for you I think it's kind of clear to be honest like you know everybody knows certainty of the position right now like it's a vulnerable like it's a vulnerable spot to be in like to be the running back right now like everybody kind of know that and you kind of see the the situation unravel. Like you see the situation going down in Indy.
You know, you got one of the best young guys that's trying to, you know, get what he deserves. And I think it all comes down to how, you know, ownership and the people in the building value us.
And I just think that's where we're at right now. So I think the meeting kind of just got our voices out there and just got it to some of the people we needed to get it to.
But, like, I feel like, you know, we're still at that spot where, like, you know, something got to be done. Yeah, I mean, one idea we came up with, I don't know if it was discussed on the Zoom, but what if running backs just stop blocking for quarterbacks? What if you stop picking up blitzes? Feels like they'd pay you more after that.
I don't know when you love balls so much and especially you know in my position you got a hall of famer back there you got a ball you got a hall of famer back there you got a block for that guy man okay yeah or you got a block what if there's what if there's no franchise tag for the running back position that'd be cool right there like honest. I think we're one of the positions that I think should not be on a tag.
I think the being that we take, the overload, if you're one of those great and one of those special players, you get the overload. You get 400 touches a year.
So it's like I think we shouldn't be able to get a tag. I think so.
I mean, the tag probably shouldn't exist in general. It's kind of weird how they came up with that whole idea.
Now you have to play under it. Or running backs just don't get drafted.
You become free agents the moment that you step out of college. You get to decide where to go, go to the highest bidder.
That's different. I haven't seen it from that perspective.
That's a's a good one. But I don't know.
You just had two guys going to the first round this year, like two of them. Yeah.
John and Camille, right? Like two of them go. They got some of the money that they deserve.
You know what I'm saying? Like you got a rookie making all this money, more than some of the guys that have been putting in the league. But it's like I'm happy for them.
You know what I'm saying, just to see him getting some money. But I got a little brother in the league, so I'm just trying to set the narrative straight.
You know what I'm saying? He worked his butt off. He can do everything right.
He's going to ball out. So I just feel like he should get what he deserves.
Yeah, so you mentioned your little brother. Did that have anything to do with you going in the division to the Jets that you get to play him twice a year now? I just think when the thing really unfolded of me being a free agent, I think that was really on the table for me to join that division, like the Dolphins or the Jets, just to go play in the division.
I don't know how it came down to that so quick, but that's what it was. Like it unfolded real quick and like we kind of knew when he was down there training with me like, all right, I might end up in the same division as you.
And nonchalant as he be, like all right, so much. Yeah.
Now, you can be honest with us. You signed with the Jets mid-august did you do that because it's like hey i don't really want to go to all of camp because that would be a really smart decision where it's like let me take a little bit of time i i am a running back i do get the wear and tear i can i can pick a team that i want because you're such a value asset were you were you making sure that you took enough time that you didn't have to maybe do, like, the really shitty days of camp? No, I wasn't really, like, looking at it like that.
But, like, you know, not that it unfolded like that. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, camp is camp.
Like, I know what I'm getting out of camp. Like, I could get better in camp.
Something can happen that you don't want to happen. So, but, like, I wasn't really thinking like that.
It was really, like, a tough decision coming down to it. Like, you know what I'm saying? Where I wanted to place my family and put us in the best position to go be successful.
It was like, you know, I knew nothing outside of Minnesota. So it was like, all right, let's go wait for my options.
Let's go take a visit to the Jets. Let's go, you know, see what teams are talking about.
And I think when I took my visit, I kind of sold of sold things up but nah I actually just had a kid two days ago

I was kind of waiting trying to

figure this thing out

I didn't appreciate it I just didn't want

to like jump in the conclusion to just like

you know kind of miss his birth

and do things like that so I was kind of holding it

off as long as I could but like you know just

with great people in a facility

you know in New York they kind of let me

go back and you know enjoy that

time with him but it was good

All right. off as long as I could, but like, you know, just with great people in a facility in New York, they kind of let me go back and enjoy that time with him.
That's smart. You had a boy? Yes, yeah.
Congrats, man. That's awesome.
Would you let your son play running back if that time comes? No. Oh.
No? What position would you say? It was a big baby, man. I don't know.
We might go be hooping or something. Yeah, I was going to say, power forward is the answer.
Yeah, man. I've been seeing these contracts come out.
I've been like, oh, man. I think I'm in the wrong sport.
Yes, yes, yes. Absolutely.
So what was it that sold you on the Jets? Was it Rodgers? Was it the coach? What was the final thing that you're like, this is where I need to be? It was the whole thing, man.

Like, really, just the feel of it, to be honest.

I came on my visit.

Like, I had no idea what I was walking into.

And, you know, I talked to some guys that have been here.

And the building, all I heard was great things.

Like, they take care of their guys.

They take care of their guys.

And I just kept hearing that repeated, repeated, repeated, repeated.

And, you know, I got here. And the visit just, you know, everybody enjoyed themselves.
We got a good feel of, you know, who they was as an organization. You know, they got a good feel of who I was as a person.
You know, the film already spoke for what I could give you on the field. But like, you know, just sit down with those meetings, you know, with Headman and everybody, it was a great visit.

And like you said, the roster itself speaks for itself.

Dig deep into it.

When I played these guys last year, the defense is defense.

They rolling those guys.

They got a great defense.

I think with the young running back room that we got,

just add me with that veteran presence,

just helping these guys make more plays on the field. And like you said, you got ADAC quarterback.
You got the offensive rookie of the year. I'm going to play with some great receivers.
I'm lucky enough to go play with another great one. So it was a no-brainer for me.
Yeah, Rodgers is a great guy. I've never said a bad word about him.
I mean, he's a selfless teammate, just a great leader. You got a chance to win with it.
Yeah. Like I said, it was a no-brainer.
I played against that for six years, so I wasn't trying to do it. I was just out of it no more.
Yeah. So let's be friends now.
Yeah. Yes, that's how I feel.
Yeah. Did you watch any of the Hard Knocks? I haven't watched it.
You didn't? Because my theory was that you saw the episode where they brought in the mentalists, and the mentalist guy asked for a prediction on who's going to

win the Super Bowl.

They turned over a card that said the Jets are going to beat the 49ers in the

Super Bowl.

My theory was that you watched that, and you were like, oh, shit, this guy

says that the Jets are going to win the Super Bowl.

I need to be on that team.

But you haven't watched it yet.

No, I ain't believing in what he got to say.

No, I ain't. I ain't watched it.
To be honest, I didn't even watch that episode. I might need to go watch it.
But I haven't watched none of them yet, to be honest. It's going to blow your mind when you watch it.
Yeah, you're going to believe. You're going to be like, okay, well, that's going to happen.
We're going to win the Super Bowl. I think it's going to happen.
We got the pieces to go make it happen. But, you know, this league is a, you know, put the product on the field.
Let's play each Sunday, Monday, whatever we play. Let's go do it.
You got to go out there and prove it. Well, I got another thing that believes in the Jets.
Do you believe in ghosts? Very important question. Ghosts.
Yeah. It's a good one.
I'm going to go with it. Because you can't even see.
You probably just can't hear them. But I never heard of seeing a ghost.
So I'm going to say no. I never experienced it in my 28 years of living.
Okay, wrong answer. Ghosts are real.
And a friend of ours, a colleague of ours, bought a house in Chicago, and he has a ghost in the house. And the ghost told me to bet the Jets Super Bowl.
So you should start believing in ghosts. So what type of ghost is this? What, he died at a casino? No, he was a gambling ghost.
Yeah, we were talking to him. He was hitting this beeper thing.
And I said, and we said Jets Super Bowl and he hit it. And it's like, it's a ghost.
How can you not trust a ghost? A ghost knows all. Oh, you talked to the ghost, too.
You talk to the ghost, too. Oh, I talk to the ghost directly.
Yes. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Telling you.
Do what it means. Start believing in ghosts.
I'm starting to see the trend, man. Everything leads right up to it.
Everybody's selling the Jets in the Super Bowl. I'm starting to see the trend.
Yeah. Ghosts, even dead people.
I believe in ghosts, guys. Yes, You believe in ghosts You're a smart man You can't deny it You can't deny that If a ghost is on your side You'll take all the support You can get right Yes That's it Keep it going So you believe in ghosts We believe in A former teammate of yours Jameis Winston We feel like Jameis is maybe the most entertaining quarterback to watch in the NFL.
He's so fun, and you used to play with him. He's a big rah-rah speech guy.
We've all seen the eat the W thing. What was it like playing with Jameis in college? It was cool, man.
Like, he was coming off his husband year. They had to win a national championship in 13.
I get there in 14. And it's cool, man.
Like, everything is great. Like, he had his hiccups, like, you know what I'm saying, a couple situations he got into.
But, like, it was never nothing, like, more than that. I think he evolved over the years as he got in the league with speeches and all that because he never did that with us.
Like, he'll a speech but he'll be like, alright, let's go play. It wasn't like nothing out of the ordinary but it was cool, man.
That's my guy, man. I don't know.
He had his moments and he'd be like, hold up. What's happening right now? I don't know.
It was cool, man. We went to the playoffs.
We had a great year. Like, unfortunately, like, we lost to Oregon that year in the playoffs.
But I don't know, man. What about the time? Are you specifically talking about the time? I don't – I think it was when you were there when he was suspended for a half and he came out in full uniform and Jimbo was like, dude, what – That was the Clemson game.
Yeah, it was like Jimbo. Jimbo was like, dude, what do you think suspended means?

Did you talk to him after like, man, that was screwed up.

They didn't let you play.

That was one of my favorite Jameis Cliffs.

He just wanted to play ball.

Yeah, it was kind of weird though because I kind of felt where he was coming from.

And like Jimbo did tell him he was suspended in front of the team.

It was a situation where he had the little situation where he stood up and said something. Fucker in the pussy.
Yeah. Yeah.
When he said that. And it kind of went viral.
And the NCAA called right the day before the game. And we was in a meeting.
Jimbo told him he was suspended for half. But I guess he thought he still could warm up.
That's when he came out with his with his clothes on he he gets i guess he thought he still warm up i kind of felt where he came from like i'm warm up let me go take my clothes off right right jimbo wasn't having no all-time fired up yeah no that that was funny right yeah so but he just looks confused and they're just talking in front of the tunnel yeah I you so I always wonder this because you know we're sports fans we see it we don't we obviously don't live it like you guys live it you in your college process you committed to Clemson then committed to Florida then went to Florida State how much, like, random people on burner accounts talk to you

when you flipped commitments?

Because that's always – we always laugh about it on this show,

the fact that there's, like, grown men tweeting at, like, 17-year-old kids

and getting mad at them because they decided they wanted to go

to a different college.

Yeah, back then.

Like, I wasn't really big on, like, social media, but, like,

when I picked the Jets, it was worse.

Oh, really?

It was crazy.

I was getting stuff.

Yeah, it was bad.

This goes to show if you're really not mentally stable and mentally ready for social media,

I think when you're making big decisions like that, that can alter people's feelings. I think you just might need to stay off of it.
Because there have been times I only came close to replying to some people, but it's like, all right, why waste my time? Let's not even go there and get into this back and forth keyboard writing. But it's just like, yeah, man, when I committed to to Clemson, because everything for me happened so fast, like a year and a half span, and I committed to Clemson, then I decommitted and then committed to Florida.
And I just decided to go to school early, and I just went to Florida State. I didn't even really do nothing else.
I didn't commit to Florida State. I just just went to school.
I didn't really get nothing too much from it because I wasn't really on social media, but when I made my decision to sign with the Jets, I think it was worse. Which fan base was the worst to you when you signed with the Jets? I think I pretty much got it from everywhere.
I think people were expecting me to sign back to Minnesota. Obviously, they were expecting me to go home, so I really got it from Miami fans to worse.
I'm looking forward to going back home and being in the feeling again. Yeah.
You played out in Minnesota, have had a great career out there so far. Run behind C.J.
Hamm, one of our favorite fullbacks in the NFL. C.J.
Hamm, he's a fucking beast. That dude is a monster.
You're going to miss C.J.? I'm going to miss'm gonna miss him man i'm gonna miss that guy man it's just how easy he made the game on me like people don't really know like the communication that we had and it was non-verbal like it's just like like we just reacted to each other so well like it was just a great package i could say that for the years that we was there together man man. And you see why they extended him again.
It is what it is. CJ gonna be CJ.
I'm happy for him, man. I just wish I could have took them with me.
Could have brought them over there. Well, Rodgers did that.
You could have, yeah. Rodgers brought the whole Packers with him.
We got a good one. The building auto, man.
We got a good one. This is a dumb question, dumb fan question, and dumb theory that we had, but did Alexander Madison grow out his dreads just so that way when he, like, came in, you know, in relief of you? You'd be like, oh, is this still Dalvin Cook? So he was already growing his dreads when he first got there, but, like, this is how funny this man is like i love that i love him man that's my little brother like like man it's crazy how much love i got for him and like we used to do a lot of stuff together just like being around each other every day and he started to dress like me so like and he was doing it on purpose like he'll do it on purpose like he'll do it on purpose like he'll come from my locker here and see what I, and he was doing it on purpose.
Like he'll do it on purpose.

Like he'll do it on purpose.

Like he'll come from my locker and see what I got on.

He'll do it on purpose.

Like he'll dress just like me.

And one time we had like the,

they had put me in front of like,

it was training camp.

It was like two years ago.

They put me in,

he put me on the front of the cover of the magazine.

And I'm looking at the cover and I see it's not me. And picture, it say Dalvin Cook but it's him so we went to the lady and we told her like that's not me like that's Alex, he felt so bad like I'm like bro why you doing that, why you doing this to the lady like he used to do it on purpose like it was on purpose, it was gonna be funny man There'd be so many times Yeah we'd be watching games Be like oh Dalvin Cook scored And be like wait nope that's not him Never mind Fantasy football owners must have hated him They get all excited They got another Dalvin Cook touchdown And then they're like wait a wait, wait a second.
That's not him.

Shit.

That's funny that he did it on purpose.

I respect that.

That's true backup running back.

You know?

Just dress for the job you want.

My grandma used to get us mixed up.

My grandma used to get us mixed up.

I used to be like, hold up, bro.

What was it like in the locker room last year in the game against the Colts, the famous comeback game? I think that was like the week before Christmas. It was on a Saturday, if I remember, against Jeff Saturday and the Colts.
And you guys are down big at halftime. You scored the last touchdown in regulation.
Was there a sense at halftime that you can win the game? Or was it just like, let's go out there, try to not embarrass ourselves in the second half and see what happens? Bro, I was probably like, the way I could describe it, that was probably the most calmest comeback ever. When we went into the locker room, the energy when we came out for the game, it wasn't really there because that was a game for us to clinch the division and to just like just handle things to get it out of the way and like the energy wasn't there like for us to like be in the mode of like clinching the division and like we went into halftime and like everybody's like calm and shit like we just like calm like everybody was just chilling until like pat p he kind of like stood up but you still had guys like like yeah we can do it but like no nobody wasn't believe in that shit.
Like, it was like, Pat Pease, he kind of, like, stood up. But you still had guys, like, yeah, we can do it.
But, like, nobody wasn't believing that shit. Like, it was like, all right, Pat Pease kind of stood up and was like, yo, like, just calm down.
All we need is five touchdowns. Like, everybody looked like five touchdowns.
Like, five touchdowns. And showed up.
We got out there and they started rolling out. Them things started coming back and back and back.
And, you know, everybody was just so calm. And then you kind of felt that energy just coming back into the building, coming back into the building.
You kind of seen the stands filling back up. And you just kind of seen everything just happening.
And to me, like, I played in that Buffalo game. But that was, like, real close to that Buffalo game, like but one of the craziest games I ever played in my life yeah you guys played some wild ones last year all we need is five touchdowns when do you put it that way yeah we can do this five we ain't even got one one hand just one hand of touchdowns by the way I forgot that one of our writers here who's a Dolphins fan

did write a blog right after you signed with the Jets

saying Dalvin Cook going to the Jets makes me want to drink bleach.

So, yeah, you did get a lot of people getting upset.

So, yeah, he didn't drink bleach, but you made him want to.

Yeah, you made him want to drink bleach.

Don't drink bleach, man. Life is great.
We know ball on this show. You can probably tell we're very smart, very intelligent football fans.
We know that it takes some time for a running back to fit in pass protection, especially if they're in a new system, new team. Have you gotten started on that? How long does it take you going to the Jets, new offense coordinator, new system, new offensive line? How long does it take for you to really feel comfortable in pass protection? For me, I kind of always been like on top of things like that.
You know, you get your little hiccups every now and then. But, like, this is a system that I ran before.
So, like, I'm pretty familiar with what they got going on. I ran this system two years ago.
I ran it when I

had Gary Kubiak.

I'm pretty familiar with it. It just

kind of gave my brain fresh

on the terminology and everything they

say. They kind of changed up a little lingo.

The system is the system.

As far as what they're

trying to get done, I pretty much know what they're

trying to do. So I'm pretty good with that.
But it's still going to take a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of reps to go out there and get this thing done. No, cause I was, I was here last week, but I had to fly back home.
So I'm really good. A true, true practice, a true week of practice coming this week.
Dumb, another dumb question. How, how cool is it being fast? Are you like, do do you ever find yourself catching like when you burn by someone or you give someone a good juke you're like this is this is awesome like i just made you look so foolish because i've been some times where i don't court balls and like tight spaces like really like check downs to be honest and like i get past some guys i'm like all right all right i am i am not fast like you kind of catch this up sometimes like when you get past guys like you see guys really like trying hard to get you but like no you really just in the mode of just trying to get where you're going and it's like all right yeah yeah I mean that's got to be very cool feeling are you faster than your brother your brother? See, like, we never raced, but, like, we run totally different.

Like, he run with, like, a longer stride than me.

Like, my steps are, like, shorter, but they're, like, not choppy.

But, like, he run with a longer stride.

I don't really want to race.

I'll just give him the title, to be honest.

Like, all right, you got it, bro.

But I never got caught on film. Let me just say that.
Okay. Never? We're film guys.
We can find something. You catch me getting ran down on tape.
Show me. I ain't got ran down on tape.
Okay. How much would you pay us if we found it? A hundred on a rundown.
Whatever I get ran down is a hundred dollars. All right.
All right. Jake, let's take a hundred bucks off him.
Can you find that? Can you look up the tape? We got to find it. We're going to find something on tape for you.
We got to find some tape. There's got to be someone.
By the way, here's another one. Fuck you, the Jets, Florida State Seminoles.
Boy, you got me 38 hot. Called you a bitch ass.
What is this you looking on? Instagram, Twitter? Twitter. Twitter.
I just searched Dalvin Cook searched dalvin dalvin cook fuck you it's a lot wow there's a lot of people mad like twitter is one of them things where like i said mentally if you just like one of them people that just react to stuff this quick like you gotta stay off twitter you know what it is you know what it is you were? You liked some tweets this offseason. You got in a little trouble for liking tweets, not the Diggs type of trouble.
But there was a video of like some Miami Dolphins clip where it was like, is Dalvin Cook going to sign with the Dolphins? You liked it, and then everybody from Dolphins, all their fans, they were like, oh, shit, he's coming here because he liked that tweet. Were you just messing with him? Nah, man.
Like I said, it came down to the end. Like if I was going to sign with the Jets, to be honest, bro, I would have been signed with him.
It came down to me coming to take a visit, me seeing what I needed to see, me being around, the people and seeing what I could be like a piece to come in and help guys win.

Like it came down to the end. Like Miami was right

there in the race but like

it came down to some things but it just did

some things better than Miami at the end and

so I'm here.

Do you like playing in the cold?

Oh good question.

Like it depends on how cold like

I wasn't

like we played in Green Bay like at the end of the year last three years I was in Minnesota and the last time you went to Green Bay was zero degrees like I hated every second of it but like I don't think it gonna get I don't think I'm gonna be in any game as cold as that like as far as playing on here in New York like I know it's gonna get cold but like no problem with it. Like, ball is ball.
Like, they got to feel the same pad-hitting situation that I got to feel. Like, they got to feel that same thing I'm feeling.
Like, ball is ball. I like that.
Ball is ball. Ball is ball.
Respect. That is respect.
All right, so do you have a prediction for this year? Yards? Can you tell people why they should draft you in fantasy? I'm going to be productive. I'm going to be who I am.
I'm just telling you. Dalvin Cook is Dalvin Cook.
So like, you know what I'm saying? Like, if you take it for that, just take it for that. Like, it's all I need to say.
Like, I don't need to say too much. Like, Dalvin is not me.
Like, I'm back in 33, so we good. Like, are there certain numbers that you feel faster in than other numbers? Like what if they made you wear like 45 for a year? I wouldn't wear it.
You quit. Yeah, the new numbers are crazy.
That's not a fast number. What are the fastest numbers? That's what I'm saying.
Like if you don't go – if I ain't go like a single digit, like I wasn't – I'm going back to 33 regardless. Like that was the most productive.

Like,

you know what I'm saying?

Like 33.

Like that's what it is.

That's how I came off.

I came off swinging 33.

But like,

other than that,

I wasn't going to,

nah,

them numbers don't even make you look good.

You don't even look good in numbers like that.

Yeah.

So if you weren't 33,

what would be the fastest numbers that we would say? I would say like a one. One looks pretty fast.
Seven looks fast. 21.
21's really fast. 21 is fast.
I like 21. 22 is kind of a good number too, but like I feel like 22 is one of those numbers, but like you're fast and it's just like, all right, I can run this thing too.
like 22, one of those numbers but you fast and it's just like I can run this thing too 22 is one of them numbers in the middle I'm that guy I like 22 I had one last question for you it's a Roback question promo code TAKE 20% off your first purchase Q-Zips,os hoodies joggers shorts everything uh roback.com promo code take this has been awesome Dalvin we appreciate your time um I found another one it was Dalvin Cook you fuckhead uh on Twitter um and that was that was from me December 6th 2020 uh and I went to look it up do you remember remember this game? Pretty much anytime I swear at an athlete it's gambling related, it was the Jaguars-Vikings game where I think you guys were like nine point favorites and you had first and goal at the two minute warning and you just didn't score. And you won by three.
Do you remember that? Because you were a fuckhead for that. Oh yeah.
They told me me no score. Yeah, well, come on.
We got people who need that. That was a situational moment.
I feel you, though. Hey, think about it.
I feel you. I feel you.
I understand when things are on the line and big things at stake, I feel you. Get your emotions out.
not a person that take emotions i don't i i take them how they come that's just what it is but hey i'm a fuckhead i'm a fuckhead you were a fuckhead in that moment you were a fuckhead i know that your coach probably told you to do it but uh i stand by the tweet but yeah twitter is wild so i i can't really uh criticize anyone when i'm Dalvin Cook, you fuckhead, in the middle of the day.

Maybe we can think twice and we can just call the coach a fuckhead.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I've got to talk to him, too.

Yeah, you would probably think to yourself, like,

that's a touchdown you could have.

You're like, Kevin O'Connor, you fuckhead.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Come on.

You needed that.

We need those scores.

It is very crazy.

Oh, man. Well, thank you so much, man.
Best of luck. Believe in ghosts.
The ghosts told me. I'm telling you.
Now I feel like you're not believing in ghosts again. Nah.
I don't want to hear no ghosts. I don't want to see no ghosts.
Wherever I'm at, I would never be there again. If I ever heard a song, I would get missing.
I would be gone. but like you know, ghost.
Wherever I'm at, I would never be there again. If I ever did, if I ever heard, I saw it,

I would get missing.

I'll be gone.

But like,

you know,

Hey,

I tip my hats to y'all for talking to the ghost.

Whenever you,

whenever you see them again,

talk to myself,

what's up?

And we appreciate it.

All right.

Well,

if you guys win the Superbowl this year,

will you come,

will you come visit and,

and we'll go talk to the ghost and be like,

yo,

thanks for believing in us.

If you could set it up like this between me and him,

like right here.

I can do that.

Yeah.

Okay.

We'll do that.

All right.

Thank you. And we'll go talk to the ghost and be like, yo, thanks for believing in us.
If you could set it up like this between me and him, like right here. I can do that.
Yeah. Okay.
We'll do that. All right.
If you win the Super Bowl this year, you will, we'll set up a zoom with the ghost. Set up a zoom with that ghost.
Okay. Perfect.
Perfect. Well, Dalvin, best of luck.
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We were talking right before we started taping. Snickers ice cream bars are my one-one quick ice cream bar to pick up.
They're so good. I ate one tonight.
I also buy them for my kids and I cut them up and give them to it's the best. Those are the best.
They are so, so good. You know what else is great? If you take a regular Snickers bar and you put that in the freezer.
Yeah. I know it's not the same as ice cream, but it's still elite.
Still elite. I'm probably going to hit another Snickers ice cream on the way out.
Yeah. What was the...
What did Jim Tomsula originally do for it to be called Jimbo? He called it... He said that sometimes when you got a run, but you pass instead, he's like, we call that a Jimbo.
He actually phrased Jimbo's for his own mistake. I'm going to look it up, see if I can get the clip.
It's to take accountability. He would be like, yep, that one was a Jimbo.
That challenge. I shouldn't challenge that.
That's a Jimbo. Yeah, he literally was like, yeah, he named himself.
He named his own mistakes as Jimbo's. Love that.
He's like, yeah, I screwed up there. That's a Jimbo.
I can't believe we haven't had Tom Sula on part of my take. I know.
I think I feel like he would maybe not like us I don't know I think he I think he's a jeans fan yeah wait let's see I'm looking it up okay that I just found a tweet that's a Jimbo Tom Sula's phrase when he was the root of the problem like when 49ers tried to come out passing versus the Browns that's Jimbo so if he's he's the root of the problem, he's like Jimbo. Love that.
That's accountability. With that being said, I brought my girl bowling.
Think it'd be a fun, relaxing time. And she beat me all six games.
Oh, no. And I didn't post a score over 100.
Oh. Top three most embarrassing hour I had to deal with.
Is this was this you writing about me and you no bowling would i beat you 157 to 85 that was one game right but you got 85 i beat you during the bowling stream okay but we played like 75 games of course you're gonna win once yeah this is um listen six games one one game happens one game you can't go over six trying to break a hundred yeah that's the thing is it's not about your girlfriend beating you that she's probably a good bowler what are you gonna do not being able to break 100 as a man six straight times that's brutal yeah it is tough you would think that you would find it find a groove around game number three or four or put up the bumpers yeah or just like not even aim be like i'm not gonna even try to get a strike let's just hit some of the pins we gotta get we gotta start a bowling league bowling we should be in a bowling league bowling's fun um but one major problem i have with bowling now is i used to love it because you could smoke cigarettes inside yeah and it seems like that is even going away which is tough like there's certain places that should allow cigs inside because i my policy for myself is i'm allowed to smoke cigarettes indoors if i'm or i'm allowed to smoke cigarettes if it's indoors or if i'm out of the country right and now it's like i'm running out of opportunities to do so so i'm i just i missed going home after a night at the bowling alley and all your clothes and your hair smell like cigarettes jake make a reminder after football, I think we should. Maybe we don't even do a bowling league, but let's just the fellas pick a random Monday when we're really missing football the most.
And let's go bowling on a Monday night. Like April after March.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. February, I'm saying.
Oh, right. Winter.
Yeah, yeah. Eat hot dogs while we do it.
Yeah, we should. We should stream it and we should make it a competition.

No, but let's just go as fun.

Let's have fun, you know, bowl with the boys.

It'd be great if we could find a bowling league where people just let us win.

How do we do that?

What?

Oh.

Oh, you let me win?

I think anytime, anyplace, anywhere. You got to have more self-awareness if you're this guy.
You got to know what your limitations are. And if you're a stinky bowler, maybe just don't go on a bowling date.
Also, you should just start like mini golf, one-on-one basketball. You got to find one that you can win at.
Hit the arcade. Oklahoma drill.
Yeah, hit the arcade. Yeah, drill feats of strength bench press competition arm wrestling actually i feel like this from the little we know about this guy his girlfriend could beat him in a bench press competition probably uh okay i was waiting to tee off on the 16th hole sunday was over served and needed to reach for a cooling towel while i was sitting in the cart well i slipped and landed the floor of the cart, causing the accelerator to go off.
The cart started rolling down the hill while I was literally completely horizontally sticking out of it. Tried to slow the cart down by dragging my hands on the ground.
Now my right hand and left elbow are scabbed and bruised. Golf glove is torn up.
The cart didn't go too far as it just went over the curb near the fairway. That's such a great plan that he had, though.

He's going to stop the golf cart by grabbing grass.

I also feel like golf carts are one of the like, if this is a real car.

Yeah, it's a different story because you don't want to have damage.

Golf carts.

I have to imagine if we talk to a caddy or like a grounds crew person, they've seen everything.

Oh, yeah. They've seen every golf cart accident, like broken, everything.
Like, just let it go jake almost died in a golf cart yeah that's true yeah remember that it was at a charity golf tournament when i was in seventh grade i drove drove off the bridge fell over me and i was stuck under water for like 30 seconds i thought there wasn't a way out that's chappaquiddick but i made it out who rescued you so the person the person next to you didn't make it out? No, he did. He was able to jump onto the bridge.
So he made it out. And then did he go get help for you? Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
Got it. A little rattled.
I thought it was a... What a hilarious way for Jake to die.
Wasn't a Hall of Fame MLB his charity tournament? No. Were you very embarrassed? I was 13 years old.

Were you shaking?

What's going on?

Yeah.

Were you scared to drive after that?

I was 13.

Oh, drive carts?

Yeah.

Yeah.

When you got your license, were you like, oh, here we go again?

Do you hate going over water?

Yeah.

Did you finish the round?

No.

So you went home?

No, I just hung around.

You hung around wet?

I got to change clothes, I think.

Okay.

And you didn't finish the round?

No.

Thank you. So you went home? No, I just hung around.
You hung around wet? I got to change clothes, I think. Okay.
And you didn't finish around? No. Why? Because my clubs were gone.
They were underneath a lake. Oh, yeah.
I forgot about the clubs. Okay.
We need to conquer this bridge, Jake. We need to go back and have you drive a golf course.
We need to have you drive off the bridge again.

Yes, yes, yes.

Recreate the whole thing.

You're never going to heal if you don't do this.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Take the power back.

All right.

All right. Last one.

Last week, I ordered a gaming desktop on a massive discount.

A $3,500 desktop for $1,100 from Amazon.

Imagine my surprise when what I thought would be a gateway into escapism and tomfoolery turned out to be one foam

Thank you. $500 desktop for $1,100 from Amazon.
Imagine my surprise when what I thought would be a gateway into escapism and tomfoolery turned out to be one foam shoe in a bag. Oh, you got caught.
Oh, that's bad. So it was a fake store.
Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, that's a pretty steep discount. Damn.
I thought it was going to be like half of the gaming console or something. Yeah.
I thought it was going to be like the computer, but not built. Are you allowed to do that? And then the people that build computers.
It sounds like the easiest scam ever. You just set up an Amazon store and then you just don't send people the stuff and you get their money.
Yeah. When I was a kid, my dad did that to me.
He got me PlayStation, the original PlayStation for my birthday. And he gave me the holder and was like, you want a PlayStation, right he went with it for like 15 minutes and i was like this is the holder this isn't the playstation he's like this is what you wanted i didn't understand what you wanted i got you a play pretty bad yeah yeah yeah and he's like oh you wanted this and they show me the playstation that's a pretty good trick yeah for the younger what is it what is is a holder for a place? It was like the thing that I don't know.

It's like the plastic holder that you put on the because the PlayStation.

I don't know.

You just fucking.

It was a holder.

Do you know what that is?

Damn it.

Did I date myself?

It would have been cool if he got you like a like a jungle gym, like a slide.

So he's like, this is a PlayStation PlayStation station for play.

Fuck. It like held it up upright.
So the gray PlayStation. It was.
Yeah, it was a great PlayStation. You couldn't have just put it up.
Like, it might have been a PlayStation 2. Hank, what does that mean? PlayStation 2s are black.
PlayStation 1. I think it was a gray.
It was gray. It was.
I think it was the. Yeah.
No, it was this. Okay.
I think it was. When did PlayStation 2 come out? Like 2007? Okay, so it was PlayStation 1.
But it looked exactly like this. It looked exactly like this, Max.
See this? Okay. Like, you just held it up.
It held up. You couldn't just put it on the ground.
I don't know what this is. 2000 was PlayStation 2? Yeah.
It must have been PlayStation 1. Oh, no.
Fuck. I was in high school in 2008.
Fuck. Yeah, it looked like this.
It was kind of cool. All right, fine.
I dated myself. What the fuck am I going to do? I'm old, guys.
Hey, Newsflash. I'm fucking old.
Is it embarrassing to admit that my first gaming system was a Super Nintendointendo because it was yeah that's not that it's just time n64 was the best n64 what was your first one hank uh i was not at video games my house till i was like way older my brother got an xbox in college that was that was the one in my house me and my friends would play playstation one and two and then 64 i wasn't allowed to have it either for the longest time and one birthday i got to rent from blockbuster a sega yeah those are always those are the best birthday parties yeah but that was the that was my birth i was like i just want to have a system for a weekend yeah i was i played the entire i actually remember i brought it to some like to like uh someone else's house like not not like a friend's house like we had to go somewhere for something and i was like i'm bringing this i'm not wasting any time yeah it's smart it's honestly genius by my parents because i just lived at my neighbor's house yeah like i was never yeah that is that is the ultimate i was always like a generation and a half behind all my friends so i I would play all the games at their house. And then like two years later, I would get that system.
Yes. I would get the same games.
I'd be like, you guys want to come over and play GoldenEye? And they're like, dude, we beat GoldenEye two years ago. Also, genius move.
One of my friends got N64. And his parents wouldn't let us play during the week.
And they would hide the cord, like the power cord. cord yeah so the system would be sitting there it'd be like all we want to do is play it but we can't plug it in so we just spend the entire week looking for it and then we realized like after like three years that his dad just put it in his trunk every monday just took it to work yeah and we're just like motherfucker we just spent all this time looking for a power cord we thought it was was around the house.
Yeah. So, yeah.
Okay, we dated ourselves. What are we going to do? I mean, going to Blockbuster on a Friday night and going to games was the greatest thing in the world.
Right. Yeah.
There was something about renting a movie, too, from Blockbuster. You go in there, you get the Blockbuster smell.
I think they all kind of smell the same. And then you, as a group, pick out, okay, we're going to rent this movie, take it home.
And it's a big thing. Yeah.
It's an event. Now now i think it's so easy to buy movies and shit that you you rent them on your couch and then you just don't pay attention to the movie there was nothing worse than going to the blockbuster on a friday night and and seeing the movie you wanted and having it not be there yeah and having it be no vhs behind how now we're from do you remember when vhs god damn you remember when jurassic park came out how many copies they had at blockbuster it was like an entire wall yeah jurassic park whatever yeah we're old sorry i just sent i i was just saying i was doing a fantasy draft it was my college friends 18 years yeah that one hurt i'm seeing that but yeah okay we're old whatever uh we're still young at heart and football's back we we we youth back every football season yeah okay numbers and then we're going to the bonus pancake draft 69 memes you ever gotten this 20 nope 82 68 damn okay love you guys okay it's time for pardon my take fantasy we are reinventing the fantasy world we started with dingers only and now football season because dingers only was because we wanted to learn more about baseball.

We obviously love football.

We watch football nonstop and we thought what's the way to have a fantasy league for football that teaches us something.

Maybe we aren't paying attention to.

It's the pancakes only league.

Well, really, it's just something awesome to root for.

Yes.

Rooting for pancakes kicks ass.

Yes.

So it's it's five offensive linemen per team. Pancakes only.
Someone's going to have to chart these. Jake.
I got it. Yeah, I set it up.
Jake's got it. PFT set up a list.
Ad drops. One.
Let's get it clear right now. Injury ad drops.
Are you allowed to do one ad drop yeah i think you can do you can do multiple

ad drops oh okay just for injuries though yeah okay just what about pedophile um that you have

to run that by the league so we should just get it clear so you're if there's a pedophile on your

team you're allowed to drop them but you also have to disavow all of his pancakes okay okay that's

fair it's also only season ending injuries season ending injuries or season ending pedophilia yes

Soar season ending.

Okay. So you can't,

if you're a pedophile and you,

it,

Thank you. all of his pancakes okay okay that's it's also only season ending injuries season ending injuries or season ending pedophilia yes or season ending okay so you can't if you're a pedophile and you but you're only suspended for two weeks like the ray rice situation yes like how come he's only getting two weeks right then i think he has to stay on your roster you have to ride out those pancakes yes yes all right so only ad drops for season ending injury no ad drops for like a guy not performing.
Yes. And then we are going to do the loser.
Is it the 24? Are we doing 24 pancakes in 24 hours? Yeah. So you have to be in a diner for and every pancake you eat is an hour off.
And then we're also going to have what would be the fifth place person will have to eat 12 pancakes and

the fourth place person will have to eat

six pancakes. I like that.
I'll have to sit with you for a little

bit. Everyone like that? Yeah.

That's pretty good and we'll live stream it. I love

pancakes. Yeah.
It'll be great. Yeah.

Yeah. Finishing fourth is actually a treat.

Yeah. That's the goal.
That's the goal.

Yeah. That is first.
Finishing fourth is

great. You get to sit with your boys and eat six pancakes.

If you finish it first, are you allowed to sit and eat pancakes?

Yeah, you can.

All right, cool.

No, no, we'll probably all hang out.

And yeah, it'll be fun.

It's really just fifth and sixth place.

That's the bad one.

Yeah, fifth and sixth suck.

And fifth is...

12 is not that bad.

Should we make it 18 and 12?

Fifth and fourth?

No, 20...

24, 18, 12. 24, 18, 12.

24, 18, 12.

Yeah.

All right.

Let's do that.

Okay.

24, 18, 12, 6, 3.

3.

First person doesn't have to eat any pancakes.

Unlimited.

Yeah.

They can just eat whatever they want.

Okay.

That's good.

So if you finish second, you have to eat three pancakes, which is, that's the true win now.

That's pretty good.

Because that's a perfect amount of pancakes. Okay.
This is going to be fun. Pancakes only league.
How are we going to do draft order? We've really gotten this set up. I think we got to do a random number generator.
Yeah. Or we can do a hack game.
Okay. Or like the current standings of dingers only.
Oh, no. Shut up, Max.
Or reverse current standings. Yeah, that's true idea.
Let's do that. All right.
Well, let's do odds or evens until we get... This is really good podcasting.
Subscribe to the YouTube. Ready? Wait.
How are we going to do it? Okay. Here's what we're going to do.
Just do the... Random number generator.
The random number generator. Okay.
And then we're going to do... Whoever gets it, whoever gets closest goes first, and then we'll go clockwise after that person.
Does that make sense? Okay. Yeah.
Fair. Okay.
So we got six people. Min.
Max is six. And so we'll just start.
I'll be one. Hank, you're two.
Big cat three. Memes four.
Max five. Jake is six.
Oh, I like this. This is very ordered.
So, Hank, you can see this.

Two.

Fuck. Hank.

Hank goes first.

And then me.

Hank's a big guy.

And then I'm last.

Okay.

Snake draft.

Whew.

Okay.

Damn it.

Snake draft.

All right.

1-1.

This is an obvious one based off of the spreadsheet we have.

He had nine more pancakes than the person in second place.

It's Trent Williams.

Okay.

Good pick.

I wanted him bad.

Yeah. He's first off here.
I was hoping that Hank was going to pick row labels for his first overall pick because on the spreadsheet, it looks like that's the first guy's name. Excel guys.
Yeah. Row labels first overall.
Damn. Thank you to Sam Schwartstein, by the way, for putting together the spreadsheet for us.
Sam is a friend of the program, and you will see him on the Thursday night simulcast this year on Amazon. Yeah, what is the technical classification of a pancake block? When you take another man's soul.
You put him to the ground. You drive over him.
Is it actually trackable? Pro Football Focus apparently tracks it. I couldn't find it online, but if an AWL has it, please let us know.
So I have a problem i can't uh i paid evan a hundred dollars for his uh spreadsheet and i don't understand his rankings i'm sure there's a lot of eagles on shane and evan were supposed to be in this league so evan did a lot of research and he came in here and he's like oh i did all the research so i gave him a hundred dollar bill i was like send it to me i don't know what i don't know yeah this is a problem you can get oh, I did all the research. So I gave him $100 bill.
I was like, send it to me. I don't know what.
I don't know. Yeah, this is a problem.
You can get past. This is like the Vikings at the draft.
He has guys under. He's ranked guys.
And then some say beast and some say good. But sometimes the beast is not the first name listed.
Pug. It sounds like he's just drafting on Pug.
Since what was his nickname Pug?

Am I out of the loop?

Yeah.

Yeah, you are.

When did that become a thing?

We just decided we needed a Pug.

He's a Pug.

We picked him as our Pug.

I'm out of it.

He looks like a Pug. Do I go straight off of...

Go three.

I don't like what you're doing.

The clock's ticking, Big Cat. Yeah, I'll take the second guy.
Hank, you pronounce it. Ikem Ekwano.
Yep, that's my guy. Okay.
Okay. Panthers.
Offensive tackle. Yep.
Love it. Great pick.
Good pick. I've always loved him.
Okay. They call him Icky.
Okay. Memes.
I'm just going to go with guys who know, big fan of this team, Jason Kels. Okay.
All right. Okay.
Good pick. So fucked.
He just. I don't have him ranked as a beast or good.
Just so you know. He literally just did that to fuck with me.
Yeah, he did. Now I'll go with Wyatt Teller.
Oh, that's a good pick. Good pick.
I should have taken him. I wanted to take him.
Fuck. Oh, he's under Beast here, too.
Fuck. Damn it.
I fucked that up. All right, Jake.
I'm going to go a little down the depth chart we have here, but he's a recurring guest. Dion Dawkins.
Okay. All right.
Also say the name of the team because. Buffalo Bills.
Yeah. So, you know, this is an educational segment for the people.
We're giving the shine to the big boys. All right, PFT, you got two picks? All right, so I got a question for you because Patrick Ricard was listed as being an offensive lineman at the start of the season.
He's going to play some offensive line. He's also a fullback.
He's a fullback. He's a fullback.
When I tracked that entire season of fullback assists. Well, that was in the past.

But, Jake, that was in the past.

So he doesn't line up behind?

No.

He will some this year, but he started training as a lineman.

You can get him, but you can't get him whenever he lines up in the backfield.

Those don't count.

Okay.

Hmm.

In that case, I am going to go with.

Yeah, it's tough. It's tough.
Big names have come off the board. I don't want to screw this up.
You know what? I might. I might.
I might wade into the rookie field a little bit. Okay.
How does that sound? I'm going to take. First of all, Cody Mock from the Bucks.
Okay. The big beast from dakota with a long red hair yep missing front

teeth okay love that guy he just he screams pancake to me okay and then next i think i'm going to take i'm going to take aaron brewer from the titans okay aaron brewer on the titans okay he was at the top of the list yeah yeah okay all right jake you're coming back yeah i'm going to go with Penny Sewell.

Okay.

Good pick.

Good pick.

Good pick from. Yeah.
Okay. All right, Jake, you're coming back.
Yeah. I'm going to go with Penny Sewell.

Okay.

Good pick.

Good pick.

Good pick from?

The Lions.

Yes.

There it is.

Sorry.

No, that's okay.

Max.

Wait.

Oh, fuck.

This is a snake.

Robert Hunt.

Okay. From? The Dolphins, I believe.
I believe he's on Dolphins. Nice.
Yeah. Nice.
Nice. Okay.
Memes? Was Quentin Nelson taken? Nope. Quentin Nelson was not taken.
I'm going to take Quentin Nelson. Okay.
Good pick. The Colts.
Colts. Okay.
I'm going to take... Let me get Caleb McGarry from the Falcons.
Okay. Caleb McGarry from the Falcons.
Oh, it's Caleb with a K. Caleb with a K.
Caleb McGarry from the Falcons. I'm going to take Tim Settle.
Oh, no. It's a defensive tackle.
What the fuck? Shit. You're just going straight off the list.
No, no. Well, I don't know exactly which one of these guys.
J.J. Watt was on that list, which can confuse me.
Yeah, apparently they tracked pancakes on defense, too. Got it.
I didn't know that. Shout out to J.J.
Watt for retiring, too. He picked the perfect time.
Yeah, I think a lot of these guys are defensive. Sorry.
We're going to go with Drew Dahlman the atlanta falcons center okay okay and then i'm going to go with someone take for no no forrest buckner's a defensive player tabin bryan let's see nope defensive tackle this list list is all all jacked up okay who you got find someone chris lindstrom okay okay center for the falcons no yes guard for the falcon guard for the falcon couple falcons okay you're stackingcons. I'll go with, can't believe he lasted this long.
I'll go Zach Martin from the Cowboys. Good pick.
Yeah. Feels good to get that one because it's a name I know.
Yep. Okay.
He's not holding out. No, I think he just got paid, didn't he? Yep.
Yeah. He's back.
He just got paid. Come on.
Don't put that on me. Don't put that on my team.
It's going to take him a little while to get warmed up.

This is probably the only challenge we've ever done where I'm fine with losing.

Although 24 is a lot.

24 is a painful amount.

18 is still a lot.

12 would be nice.

I think I could do 12 in about two hours.

I think 12 would be a good challenge.

Yeah, 12 would be fun.

At 18, it gets really tough.

Yeah, actually, 24 would really suck.

Yeah.

Okay, memes.

I'm going to go with Laramie Tunsil. Okay.
Gas mask. Yeah.
Disavow? No, I vow. Strongly avow.
Texans, I think. Okay.
That's another funny thing where it's crazy to think back. What was that? Seven, eight years ago? I think it was eight years ago.
And he fell in the draft because he smoked weed. Yeah.

People are like, this guy gives me character concerns.

Well, they found out right before.

If anything, that dude gave me character pluses.

Yes.

Yes.

Innovation.

Okay.

Max?

Jordan Mailata.

Ooh.

Fuck you, Max.

Fuck you.

Nice.

Good pick.

Rugby.

Piece of shit.

Rugby.

Good pick.

I like rugby.

Okay.

My turn.

I'm going to go double lion and double recurring guests.

Taylor Decker.

Okay.

Taylor Decker.

All right.

Good pick.

Good pick.

I think.

Oh, Evan had him as good.

He is good.

Yeah.

He had him as good.

Yeah.

Okay.

All right.

I'm going to go.

Max Lane Johnson.

Love Lane.

I'll trade you Lane for Jordan. Lane doesn't get many many pancakes according to that stat well this year he's a great he's a great lineman that doesn't get pancakes okay then i'm gonna go i'm gonna take darnell right big cat okay the bears nice big boy tennessee yes yes i like it i like it okay he's getting once he gets his hands on Yeah.
You don't want that man putting his hands on another man. Okay.
Jake. Wait, did you, is that your fifth? I did two.
No, you have one more. We're coming back around the last time.
Okay. Jake.
This is where we get confused. Who'd you pick with your last pick? Hank.
Hank took Chris Lindstrom. OK, that's right.
OK.

OK.

Go, Jake.

Terrible podcasting.

We should put this at the end of the show.

Yeah.

I'm going to go with Shaq Mason.

OK.

Wait, isn't he a guard?

Oh, yeah.

Who's the main?

Oh, Ben Mason.

Yeah.

OK.

Patriots.

He's on the Texans.

Texans.

OK. Big boy.
Fuck. Did we have him on the show? No.
I don't think so. We had, what's his name? Trent, no.
Line. Line.
Got the tattoo from the Patriots. Oh, yeah.
Fuck. Trent Brown.
Trent Brown. Okay.
I'm in shambles here. I think we all are.
It's a bad scene right now. Yeah.
It's a bad scene. I'm like, I just keep searching guys, and I just keep seeing that they're on defense.
I'm trying to make sure there's no injuries. Yeah.
Yeah, I also found it. I also had a guy.
Fuck. Can I pass and come back to me? Yes, you can pass.
Okay. All right.
Memes. I'm going to go with Rashawn Slater from the Chargers.
Okay. I will go with...
Wait, you took Chris Lindstrom? Mm-hmm. Okay.
I'll take Drew Dahlman from the Falcons. All right.
Oh, no. Hank took him.
You took two Falcons? Yep. I told you.
You motherfucker. All right.
I'll take recurring guest Mike McGlitchell. Fuck.
Oh, damn it. Fuck.
Yes. Fuck.
Yes. We're just going with names.
I had him on my list. Yep.
Yep. Feels good.
That was a steal. Maybe steal the draft.
Steal the draft. Good value.
Yeah. Steal the draft.
All right. Hank.
I am going to go with Hjalte Froholt.

Okay.

From?

The Cardinals, I believe.

Drafted by the Patriots.

And then I am going to... I was going to take McGlincher.

You really fucked me there.

I did.

I fucked you bad, dude.

Took Zach Martin already. And there's a lot of defensive players, a lot of offensive players.
Dietrich. Nope.
D Delaney. Okay.
What's his first name, Hank? D Delaney. D Delaney.
D-E-E. That's his full name.
D-Delaney.

Nope.

He's defense.

Fuck.

I'm just praying here.

I mean, this list. What list are you looking at?

I don't see any defensive guys on the list from PFT spreadsheet.

The 2002 pancake totals.

Oh, there's another list.

There's another list with positions.

I need that list.

Yeah, yeah.

I did not know that.

Wait, there's another list?

Yeah.

Where? Two tabs. Oh oh part two has the positions this changes everything oh shit yeah okay oh man i got some good draft all right i'll go jonah jackson okay wait i don't have drew dolman that's right uh would you take jonah jackson okay jonah All right.
I'm going to make a pick. Lions.
Jared. We have like the whole offensive line of the Lions in this draft.
All right. I'm going back to Evan's spreadsheet.
I'm going to trust Evan's spreadsheet. I can't take that guy because he plays for the Packers.
Someone already took Wyatt Teller.

Yep.

Does anyone have Robert Hunt?

Yes, Max.

Fuck.

Both of those guys.

I'm going to pass.

All right.

I can just say it whenever.

Yeah.

Okay.

No, wait.

It's at the end of the draft.

It's at the end.

All right.

I'll take Roger Saffold. Okay.
Bills. That was just straightly straight.
I need. say it whenever.
Yeah. Okay.
No, wait. It's at the end of the draft.
Yeah, it's at the end. All right, I'll take Roger Saffold.

Okay.

Bills.

That was just straightly straight.

I need.

Oh, wait.

He's on the Titans now?

I guess.

No, he's a free agent.

Wait, what?

Oh, I need to know someone different then.

Fuck.

You picked him.

Well, can I?

Is he not playing?

Google says he's a free agent.

The way that the Dingers Only League went, if your guy was out,

he's not even on a team.

All right, fine.

I mean, if you guys won't let me.

No, you can take one.

Okay, this is getting bad.

Let's see.

Trying to find someone who's on a team.

How about Ezra Cleveland? All right. The Vikings.
Okay. This is going to hurt me because there's a couple Packers that I have listed as beast that I didn't take, which is really stupid, but that's fine.
So Max gets one pick now and then the last one at the end. How is Roger Saffold?

Wait, no.

It means it's a lot to go, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Checkup days. The spreadsheet wrong.
Oh, yeah. Wait.
I'm going to go with Brandon Scherf. Oh, good pick.
Okay. I'm going to go.
Oh, Roger Saffold failed physical with Raiders. I'm going to go with Michael on way

new. Okay, good pick.

Good pick. Great pick.
Great

Patriots. Great pick.
Right, Hank? Yep.

I'm going to go with

another

Patriot, David Andrews.

Okay.

Great pick. I should have taken him.
so we take ben jones already uh no okay i got ben jones all right so max mr relevant on the past pick oh fuck uh i'm done yeah yes wait wait ben jones is a free agent okay Okay. Oh, I didn't realize that.
I changed my mind.

It's a good thing.

Rewind the tape.

I changed my mind.

You did.

Good thing.

I did the right thing.

You did do the right thing because that would have been very bad for you.

In that case, I'm going to take, let's see, Dylan Parham.

Nice pick.

Thank you.

Who's he playing for?

Dylan Parham.

He's on the Raiders. Okay.
Nice pick. Thank you.
I'm gonna go with Kevin Zietler Okay Wait should we draft one more to have as our injured reserve?

Nah.

Fuck that.

This was painful.

That was stressful.

All right, but we got names now.

Okay, so that's our draft.

Pancakes only.

We'll follow along.

We got to tweet out who we got on our teams.

Can't wait for us to do.

What do we decide for hockey? Just goals? I think we just do goals. Goals and one enforcer.
One enforcer. Penalty minutes.
Penalty minutes and goals. Okay.
And then basketball, we said we were going to do. Dunks.
Dunks. Yeah, dunks.
Dunks only. The dunks only league.
Did you see the North Korean basketball rules? What? Kim Jong-un made his own rules for basketball in North Korea.

Dunks are worth three points over there.

Oh, I love it. It's actually a great rule.

If you look at his rule book, it's better than the NBA rule book.

Yeah.

Dunks are worth three.

And then if you hit a shot in the last three seconds of a game, it's worth eight points.

Did you also see?

That's sick.

Yeah.

I love that.

Banking in free throws.

Yes.

Yes.

Kirk Goldsberry posted that.

In Japan, I think, there's guys who have gone up like 15%, 20% on their free throw percentage

because they're banking them in.

Smart?

Yeah.

Awesome.

Smart.

Do it.

It's like three players shooting over 80%.

It's like a carny game.

Okay.

That's our show.

Let's do numbers, and then we'll send everyone off.

And we have Friday.

We're going to be talking real football.

It's back.

It's back.

Three. Me, has you ever gotten this? No.
I'll do one. 69.
18. 20.
Wait, did you pick one? I picked one. Do you usually pick that? He usually picks one or three.
Okay. Hank, who did you pick? Three.
Oh. Oh, and I picked one.
I'll just go with 31. 28.

Ah, so close.

28.

Love you guys.

I'm talking away.

I don't know what to say.

I'm saying it anyway.

Today is my day to follow me.

Show me away.

I'll be coming for your lover.

Take me.

Take me.