Dan Patrick, Lions Beat The Chiefs, Week 1 Picks & Preview, Fantasy F-Bois And Fyre Fest Of The Week

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Give it up for Chicago.

Speaker 3 Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep coming.

Speaker 3 Sebastian Manascalco, It Ain't Right. Premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers.

Speaker 1 Terms apply.

Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, football is all the way back. We're going to talk Lions Chiefs.
What a win for the Lions. We are going to preview every single game for week one.

Speaker 1 Fantasy Fuck Boys are back. Our picks.
An incredible interview with Dan Patrick, good friend of the show. Caught up with him.
He's got a new book out right now. Go buy it.
Support our friends.

Speaker 1 We also have a very special presentation from Jake Marsh on Obama possibly being gay. So

Speaker 1 we're going to cover everything. And then we finish up with Fire Fest of the Week.

Speaker 5 When cool, creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the whole is greater than the sum of its sauce. Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch Sauce, only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 6 At participating, McDonald's.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 No place to hang out or washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can't blame all of the sun. Oh no, we're gonna ride it down to Elite Trick I Randy.

Speaker 1 And then we take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, oh, we're gonna rock it down to Elaine Trake.

Speaker 4 It's part of my take. Listen about Marshall Sports.

Speaker 1 Welcome to Part of My Take. Today is Friday, September 8th, and the Detroit Lions just went into Kansas City and won a football game.

Speaker 4 How about them Lions?

Speaker 4 How about them Lions? How about Jared Goff, friend of the program?

Speaker 1 Jared looked awesome tonight. We were rooting hard for him.
All of us were, right? All of us. Except for Hank.
Hank, you weren't?

Speaker 4 I was rooting for Jared.

Speaker 1 Oh, did you bet over a half an interception?

Speaker 2 I was rooting for Jared.

Speaker 1 I was rooting for Jared. You're rooting for Jared.

Speaker 4 Let's give a hand to Kadarius Toney.

Speaker 1 He needs one. He needs two.

Speaker 1 What do you think the conversation is right now between Patrick Mahomes and Kadarius Toney? Do you think he says, like,

Speaker 1 he just throws a box at him?

Speaker 1 I want to keep her head up because

Speaker 1 we're going to have to catch a game-winning touchdown next weekend, buddy. I actually think the Chiefs would have won that game without Kadarius Toney.

Speaker 1 He gave them a pick six. He then dropped that ball at the end of the game

Speaker 1 where it was just easily catchable. He dropped that, what was it, third-down conversion when the guy ran across his face? He was god-awful.
And listen, Chiefs fans, you've had a lot of great years.

Speaker 1 Your team's going to be fine. Your second and third best player didn't play in this game in Chris Jones and Travis Kelsey.
Turns out Travis Kelsey, very important, and Chris Jones, for that matter.

Speaker 1 This night, though, was about the Lions. And the Lions, like Dan Campbell coming into the game, nuts on the table, going for it on fourth down on the 16, their own 16-yard line fake punt.

Speaker 1 I fucking love the guy.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he doesn't change. And you should know this about Dan Campbell, too.
It's not like he hasn't done this before.

Speaker 4 If you're the Chiefs, you should have probably been prepared for that fake punt because Dan Campbell absolutely loves to do insane shit early in the games, and it worked out for him this time.

Speaker 4 The Lions' offense looked pretty good in the first quarter until they snapped the ball into their own wide receiver's dick.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that kind of hurt.

Speaker 4 And then at that point, they didn't really do much for the next, I don't know, like two quarters on offense. Jameer Gibbs did look good on the outside.
Montgomery looks good on the inside.

Speaker 4 Jameer Gibbs, I think it's a rookie thing.

Speaker 1 So outside on the bench, you mean?

Speaker 4 Jameer Gibbs? Yeah, no.

Speaker 1 He wasn't in the game that much. But when he got the

Speaker 1 ball

Speaker 4 on the outside, he's got those fresh rookie legs. He's got to work a little bit on the vision.
He treaded close to Trent, was it Trent Richardson territory?

Speaker 4 Where there were a few gaps that he had that he just ran the opposite way.

Speaker 4 So give the ball to Montgomery on the inside. Give the ball to Gibbs on the outside for right now.
But yeah, Dan Campbell, well-coached team.

Speaker 1 Very well-coached team. It was cool to see because obviously the Lions have been probably the most hyped team in the offseason.

Speaker 1 The way they finished last year, year, the fact that Dan Campbell is the man,

Speaker 1 and then to come in to Kansas City on banner night and back that up, it was fucking awesome. I'm happy for, this has got to be one of the best Lions victories in the last like 30 years.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's huge. This is massive for him.
And now it felt like

Speaker 4 they were going to get into the territory where they get the moral victory and then they can build off that. We almost beat the world champions.
But no,

Speaker 4 you went into their house, you ate their lunch, and now you're going home and you're feeling good about yourself.

Speaker 1 So I got one thing, one thing that if you're a Chiefs fan listening to this right now, again, I think you're going to be fine because you have Patrick Mahomes.

Speaker 1 He is Superman, and you are going to get Travis Kelsey back. Travis Kelsey apparently was like pleading to play, and they're like, No, we're trying to win a Super.
What?

Speaker 1 They should have let him play. They should have let him play.

Speaker 4 I thought they were okay at the tight end position.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, they were, but Travis Kelsey still is that guy who like will, you know, like these, these big third-down conversions. He's just always there.

Speaker 4 Actually, I actually think that they obviously need more help on the outside at one receiver.

Speaker 1 But he can play everywhere.

Speaker 4 If they had one solid wide receiver and then the current tight ends that they had tonight, I think they might have won that game.

Speaker 1 Or just erase Kadarius Tone.

Speaker 1 If you just take him away, yeah. Maybe someone run routes, run his routes, but never get the ball.
Yeah. You win that game.

Speaker 4 Just use him as a decoy.

Speaker 1 But I have one thing that Chiefs fans need to be worried about.

Speaker 4 I got one, too.

Speaker 1 It's one name. And his name's Matt Nagy.
Okay, well, yeah.

Speaker 4 That's kind of the same thing I was going to say.

Speaker 1 Eric Biennemy is no longer with the Chiefs.

Speaker 1 And Chiefs fans, you saw Matt Nagy in all his glory on that third and two when they got so cute and they did a direct snap, I believe, to the tight end maybe, and kind of end-around play where they took the ball out of Patrick Mahomes, the best football player in the world.

Speaker 1 They took the ball out of that guy's hands and got cute. And that was a Nagy special.

Speaker 4 I don't know if it was Nagy, though, because Andy Reid has been running those plays for years.

Speaker 1 Andy Reed

Speaker 1 that we

Speaker 4 the one knock that we have on Andy Reid, he gets too cute with it. They got cute in the red zone earlier.

Speaker 1 No, they got the Matt Nagy play. He loves that play.

Speaker 4 But you're right, big cat. They don't have Eric Biennemi.
Is Patrick Mahomes a system quarterback? Was Eric Bienemi the system? Do I now have the system? Have I collected it?

Speaker 4 You might have the system. Is the system belong to me now? All your system belongs to us? No.
I think it is.

Speaker 1 But that was a Matt Nagy play call, and the idiocy of taking the ball out of Patrick Mahomes' hands on a third and two is mind-blowing. Yeah, it is.
Mind-blowingly dumb.

Speaker 1 I know that, like, we play, you know,

Speaker 1 backseat driver, you know, Monday morning quarterback, but that's just a simple fact of like, I don't care what, like, if that play even works, it's still a bad play call to be like, hey, we need a third down conversion, and Patrick Mahomes is our quarterback, and we're going to not have him touch the ball.

Speaker 4 Patrick Mahomes had a great night running the ball, too, tonight. And so I think my new thing is just

Speaker 4 I'm going to be like Patrick Mahomes, great scrambler, excellent runner of the ball, but he needs to learn how to stay in the pocket and be a true passer.

Speaker 1 Pete Priscilla.

Speaker 4 Yeah, listen, I don't like this new age junk. Patrick Mahomes, obviously, great athlete, but is he a good quarterback?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's a good quarterback. I'd like to see him develop.
I don't think he's going to last long in the league if he doesn't learn how to pass the ball big cat.

Speaker 1 He's so sneaky running because he just always feels like he's about to slide, but he's never going to slide.

Speaker 1 And so everyone, it does feel like all the defenders, no one wants to take a full hit on him.

Speaker 4 I also think that Mahomes has the fastest slide in the league.

Speaker 4 He gets from running or doing doing his like duck waddle that he does to being like full ass cheeks on the ground in like a quarter second and he's also so smart with like

Speaker 1 when he when he takes off you know that he's seeing the field so well that there's a huge amount of space for him he doesn't take it's very rare to see him take off and be like oh he got one yard like he's already he's always looking downfield and he's like oh now i have all this time but again the lions it was a lions night credit to aiden hutchinson too yeah that dude is a fantastic monster and his family i really hope that the NBC producers, the guys in the truck, were smart enough to cut the mic dup feed on Mrs.

Speaker 4 Hutchinson when she went to the bathroom because you know that pervert Mike Tarico, he'd be listening to that. That's true.
I hope they did that.

Speaker 4 But Hutchinson had six pressures, six pressures on Mahomes, and Mahomes was two for six when he was being pressured by Hutchinson. But also,

Speaker 4 Hutchinson made the right tackle and the left tackle cheat tonight.

Speaker 4 He was so good that the Chiefs' offensive linemen were cheating on every single play.

Speaker 1 But it was taking Lane Johnson we discussed last year.

Speaker 4 It was even worse.

Speaker 1 You can move back. I know it was worse.
I don't look bad.

Speaker 4 I don't blame the Chiefs players. I blame the referee.

Speaker 4 So if you're on the Chiefs' O-line and you're able to get two steps before the defensive player gets off the ball at all, then yeah, keep doing it. That was smart by them.

Speaker 1 Jeff Schwartz, do a video for us tomorrow. I think.
I'm explaining this. Because I remember watching a video last year where it's like, everyone's like, Lane Johnson is cheating.

Speaker 1 It's like, no, technically, he's not.

Speaker 1 I can't remember the details of it. But it did look, when you're watching it, you're like, like, what the hell is going on?

Speaker 4 The ref that they had, Terry McAuliffe, his name,

Speaker 4 he even said, yeah, this is cheating.

Speaker 1 They're cheating. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I mean, it's not cheating if you don't call it, I guess.

Speaker 1 Right, right. It was actually a well-played game, not a ton of flags.
Yeah. Like, it was nice to see that.
It was nice not to see just flag after flag after flag.

Speaker 1 And because September's football can be kind of sloppy.

Speaker 1 We didn't really have that. We had, you know, what Mahomes had, well, Kadarius Toney had an interception, and then the fumble for the Lions.

Speaker 4 So So, great game. Great game by Jack Fox, too.
I know you're listening right now, Jack. Yeah, it was.
Great punny.

Speaker 1 We sat back and we're just like, there's just no better feeling than watching the first game and being like, we have all the football in front of us. It was good.

Speaker 4 Big Cat scared me because at halftime, Big Cat was like, I've got a scary, scary stat that I want to say to you. And I was like, don't say it.
Don't say it.

Speaker 4 Because I thought Big Cat was going to do the thing that...

Speaker 4 I'm going to do now, but I'm going to use it as an example of what not to do.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't do this until at least like October.

Speaker 4 When you're like, we actually are so much closer to the season being over.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I don't do that.

Speaker 4 That's a fucked-up thing to say. I don't do it till like I thought Big Cat was going to come at me with that, but instead, he dropped the most depressing stat of all time on me.
Do you want to say it?

Speaker 1 Yeah, uh, I don't know why this popped in my head, it just did. I was just thinking about the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 You know, when you're watching the first game, you're like, Road to Super Bowl starts here, get a little romantic about the whole thing. Football is

Speaker 1 like a guy's romance language. Uh,

Speaker 1 and I realized that this 2023-24 season is the last full season that PFT and I will watch in our 30s.

Speaker 1 So next, that sucks. 2025 Super Bowl, we will both be 40.

Speaker 1 Now, the Barcelona Sports main account posted this, and it hurt me more than it hurt you because there was a lot of people who were like, big guy's not 50.

Speaker 1 So that hurt. I think I need to do a little touch-up on the old hair.

Speaker 4 I do have like half the population thinking that I'm 28 because I say it all the time. It's a joke.

Speaker 1 Well, you kind of think that too. That's something I say.
Not anymore.

Speaker 4 But yeah, I'm like, I'm 31 now.

Speaker 1 You know what, though? We're going to fight. We have whatever it is,

Speaker 1 16 months to figure out a way out of this. And by that, I mean kill ourselves.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I was going to say

Speaker 1 we could never get to 40.

Speaker 4 When Big Cat said that to me, my resolution was I'm going to do all the drugs at the Super Bowl this year in Vegas. It's the last year where you can think, okay, well,

Speaker 1 we're young. We're making 30-year-old mistakes.

Speaker 4 Listen, we're young. We're just kids.
We're just kids that make mistakes sometimes. We don't know any better.

Speaker 1 We're going to be cool, though. We're going to be cool.
We're going to be like, yeah, like we're old heads now. We're going to do like the LeBron thing.

Speaker 1 All these young bucks try to podcast.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 1 We're here. We're here year 25.

Speaker 4 Or you go out for one night just as hard, if not harder, than all the young kids, and then you don't get up until like 5 p.m. the next day, and then you're in bed for a week.

Speaker 1 Oh, if you're not. But in that one night, you're like, yeah, it would be a month.
Yeah. It would be a month.
I mean, Hank. Hank is right now battling his first true

Speaker 4 like hangover in his 30s and it's it's a hard one he's been hungover for three straight days can i give you a little uh a word of advice hank yes so if you if you've got the tail end of a bachelor party hangover you probably you feel not as bad on monday sometimes you feel worse on tuesday you're gonna want to drink four beers on tuesday night if you drink it's thursday night i know but i'm saying in that situation if you have like a three-day weekend you come down off it tuesday you don't feel that, or I guess it was a three-day weekend, so Tuesday, you might not have felt that bad.

Speaker 2 No, I did.

Speaker 4 Well, then drink four beers. The other thing is, drink four beers, and you feel like you're golden again.

Speaker 1 I've only seen this happen once. I had a buddy do this one time, and it was the most genius thing I've ever seen.

Speaker 1 We went to a bachelor party, it was one of those like Thursday night to Sunday morning ones.

Speaker 1 We, I think it was in Charleston, he booked a hotel in Charleston on Sunday night, and he just like, as all of us went to the airport just in shambles, he just went to a hotel and just slept in like a cold hotel room for like 15 hours, then went home.

Speaker 1 It's great Monday.

Speaker 4 It's a good call, but also the four beers. Yeah, and the four beers.

Speaker 1 You're going to make it. We're through.
We're through. Are you?

Speaker 2 Yeah. It's the weekend.

Speaker 1 Not really. Yeah, it's Friday.
Well, it's the weekend. It's a work morning.

Speaker 2 No, it's the weekend.

Speaker 2 Friday is the weekend.

Speaker 1 I've learned one thing this past few weeks.

Speaker 2 It's that cows and bulls are the same species and

Speaker 1 Fridays are the weekend yeah stay tuned all right well yeah and speaking of we should say uh we'll be at the Max is running the 5k on Saturday morning I'll be there Montrose Harbor plugs 5k

Speaker 1 go buy the new apple crisp and pumpkin pumpkin spice stealthy pumpkin coffee

Speaker 1 pumpkin spice apple crisp is the best it is a tailgate uh cold big 10 morning dream i will say this the only other thing i'll say about the the bachelor party come down hangover is sounds like you're still hungover.

Speaker 2 The amount of, and I'm sure this happens, this, this happened to me in my 20s too, but after a long weekend, the amount of time you spend thinking about how you're not going to drink again

Speaker 2 for those first four days, it's like, I'm never doing this to myself again.

Speaker 1 And then you eventually get to an age where you just don't drink again. Yeah.
Yeah. I might be there.
I was having those thoughts.

Speaker 2 I was having that.

Speaker 1 I was like. But aren't you? Aren't you going to watch Big Nebraska? Yeah, that's for work, though.
That's where I was like having those thoughts.

Speaker 2 I was like, I can't do this Saturday. I can't do this Saturday.
But content, work.

Speaker 1 It's hard job.

Speaker 1 You don't have to drink, though.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, come on. He's got to drink.

Speaker 2 You don't have to. Some people are capable of doing that, like being in a drinking atmosphere and not drinking.
I am not one of those people.

Speaker 2 I cannot drink, but I have to remove myself from the equation. If I'm in a bar, I won't drink liquor.
I think that's the plan. Just no liquor.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you got to just be like, no shots. Yeah.
That's the rule. Coors lights.

Speaker 2 No shots, no vodka drinks, no whiskey drinks.

Speaker 4 You're going to drink so much liquor.

Speaker 2 Voda drinks? Coors Light.

Speaker 1 Coors Light. You get knocked down?

Speaker 4 But you get back up again.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's the Hank Lockwood story. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I do have a prediction for Kadarius Tony and how the season is going to play out because I thought about it.

Speaker 1 Gulag. Yeah, grocery bagger.

Speaker 4 What's going to happen is he's going to have another bad performance in one of the next two weeks.

Speaker 4 If he doesn't have an injury by then, he's going to get mad at Mahomes for not throwing the ball anymore.

Speaker 4 And then by week nine, he's going to get disciplined by the team for yelling at Mahomes during practice to throw him the ball more.

Speaker 4 He's going to come back, get more angry at Mahomes for not throwing the ball, probably take off his shoe, do something insane, try to stab him with the toe cleat.

Speaker 4 And then he's going to get traded, cut, removed from the team.

Speaker 4 Raider. That's

Speaker 1 Raider.

Speaker 4 That's how the season plays out for Kadarius Toney.

Speaker 4 I know how his brain works. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 It was not a good night for Kadarius Toney, but a great night for the Lions.

Speaker 1 Let's kick it to ourselves. We're going to do a preview of every single game on Sunday and Fantasy Fuckboys and Dan Patrick.

Speaker 4 Hey, it's PFT here, reminding you that Boarshead makes game day entertaining elevated and effortless.

Speaker 4 Whether you order catering platters ahead from your local Boars Head retailer, or you create your own spread at home with Boars Head premium deli meats and cheeses, you are sure to impress your guests.

Speaker 4 My favorites like oven gold turkey or blazing buffalo-style chicken, paired with their classic Vermont cheddar or creamy Munster cheese are sure to score big and help me elevate my entertainment every time, whether it's for a tailgate or a home gating celebration.

Speaker 4 Seriously, guys, it's a game-changing flavor for every gathering. Boarshead, committed to craft since 1905.

Speaker 1 Week one, boys, we made it. We made it.
So what we're going to do this year,

Speaker 1 we already teased this. Last year it got a little confusing when we'd go game by game and be like, who's got to pick on this game?

Speaker 1 We're going to talk about every game, and at the end, we're all going to give our two best bets,

Speaker 1 a total and a side, and that will be the competition. So it'll be the best running competition throughout the year, two best bets a week, no overlap picks.

Speaker 1 We'll draft the picks, but this way we're going to talk about every game, and then you get a little bit of gambling at the end.

Speaker 1 I think what we should do, I was thinking about how to strategically start it. I think what I've done is I've separated the early slate and how we preview this for our TV games and our non-TV games.

Speaker 1 So we have six TVs in the office. So I think we'll have five TVs on games and red zone, and there'll be a few off.
So we're going to start with our TV games, okay?

Speaker 1 And the first TV game I had was Bengals-Browns.

Speaker 4 Yep, that's going to be a sneaky good matchup.

Speaker 4 It's one of these games where you look at the logos, and if you've been watching football as long as we have, there's still something shocking about seeing these two logos next to each other and thinking this is our 1-1 TV game of the week.

Speaker 4 Yes. But the Bengals are good.

Speaker 1 The Browns are really good.

Speaker 4 The The Browns should be good. We don't know what's going to happen with Deshaun Watson this season.
I'm pumped. I'm pumped for this game.
The battle for Ohio.

Speaker 1 I'm very pumped for this game. The one thing that I have sticking in my head,

Speaker 1 I am trying my best going into week one to think about the long term and the short term here, where it's like long term, I think the Bengals are a definite Super Bowl contender.

Speaker 1 I would almost like pencil them into at least the second round AFC Championship game. I think they are that good.
Short term, Joe Burrow misses half of training camp again. What happened last year?

Speaker 1 He missed it for his epidectomy. He threw four picks against the Steelers, lost in overtime to a Steelers team that was not that good last year.

Speaker 1 They were kind of middle of the road, especially at the beginning of the season. I feel like he's going to be rusty again.
I think the Bengals will be there long term, but I think

Speaker 1 this is a tough spot for the Bengals week one with Joe Burrow coming back from not practicing at all.

Speaker 4 Well, the exception for that,

Speaker 4 the stat of the Browns being dominant dominant over the Bengals was that one game last year. Yeah.
But recently, the Browns have been better head-to-head.

Speaker 1 I think they're 5-1 against Bengal.

Speaker 4 5-1 against Burrow. And yeah, the Browns are...

Speaker 1 Run the damn ball.

Speaker 4 Let's start the season off on a good foot, Stefansky.

Speaker 1 Run the damn ball.

Speaker 4 Don't get cute with it. I know you don't have Chunt anymore.
You just got Chubb, so they're missing Hunt. But just give the fucking ball to Nick Chubb and let him just run.

Speaker 1 I also, now this is follow me along because this might get a little weird, but Deshaun Watson, everything off the field, I think he's the perfect quarterback for the Browns, and here's why.

Speaker 1 The Browns are very good. The Browns have a very good roster.
Deshaun Watson, when he was playing for the Texans, was a phenomenal top five quarterback in the league, right?

Speaker 1 But a lot of people don't want to talk about the Browns because Deshaun Watson, so it tempers the Browns' hype.

Speaker 1 And the Browns are one of those teams I put in the category of like, never overhype the Browns or the Lions, some of these teams.

Speaker 1 He might be the perfect quarterback where it's like, they are really, really good.

Speaker 1 If Deshaun Watson plays plays well, they're going to be phenomenal, but we're not going to hype them too much because then we have to talk about Deshaun Watson.

Speaker 4 Well, you know, who is talking about Deshaun Watson, who is an advocate for Deshaun Watson, maybe his biggest fan this year, actually.

Speaker 1 Who? Hank Lockwood. Hank Lockwood.

Speaker 4 Hank drafted Deshaun Watson, which I thought was a disgusting act. I disavow personally.
I do too. I disavow Deshaun, but Hank strongly avows him.

Speaker 2 I mean, if the NFL wants to suspend him, they should.

Speaker 4 Oh, so now you're standing behind

Speaker 1 suspension. No, No, that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 If he's on the field, I'm rooting for him.

Speaker 4 Is there a Deshaun 4 like there was a Brady 4?

Speaker 1 That would be a wild group.

Speaker 4 Danny Masterson.

Speaker 1 That would be a wild group. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I think he's going to have a great year. I think

Speaker 2 people are hating on him because he was suspended for a lot of the year last year, came back, was rusty, but he's one of the best QBs in the league when he's good.

Speaker 2 He's had a full offseason to train, full training camp.

Speaker 1 I think it'd be funnier if he just was bad for the rest of his career. But I do think he probably will.
I mean, he can't be as bad as he was last year.

Speaker 4 No, but I mean, taking like a year and a half off football, you're not going to be the same when you just get tossed back in. Yeah.
So he's had an offseason to prepare.

Speaker 4 He probably should be better this year. How good does he have to be, though? How good does Sean have to be to make the contract that he's getting worth it?

Speaker 4 I feel like he has to win two Super Bowls for that contract to be justified.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think he has to be like a top four quarterback in the AFC, which is, you'd be like, oh, that's not, that's really hard to do. Yeah.
When you list the names. He has

Speaker 4 the best contract in the history of the NFL for a quarterback.

Speaker 1 yeah so this game is going to be great though i'm very very excited all right game number two

Speaker 1 on the television 49ers steelers 49ers steelers gonna be on the tv bosa's back bosa is back uh i still though this is such a classic steelers spot that i think it's like 15-3-1 or something mike tomlin as a home underdog and i know that they look great in preseason they're getting a little buzz but uh yeah i just like mike tomlin knows how to get the guys going Yeah,

Speaker 4 the 49ers are legit, though.

Speaker 1 Yo, they're

Speaker 4 like the most Super Bowl.

Speaker 4 I have more confidence in picking the 49ers to make a championship game than I do of any other team in either conference. The AFC, because they'll beat each other up.
The NFC, you've got the Eagles.

Speaker 4 But I was seeing an interesting set. The Eagles are the Super Bowl losers in weeks one and two of the following season.
They stink across the board.

Speaker 4 They might get off to a slow start, but I feel like the 49ers, you can just pencil them in. I'm pumped for this game, too.

Speaker 4 It's going to be great defensive football. Now, I would like to see the Steelers figure out something to do on offense besides hit Friar Muth in the flat, hit Najee in the flat.

Speaker 1 They've done Washington now.

Speaker 4 Yeah, throw one ball to Pickens each game that makes you be like, holy shit, this guy's an alien.

Speaker 1 Maybe have Deontay Johnson score a touchdown?

Speaker 4 One touchdown. I would like to see something new out of the Steelers' offense.
I just don't know if we're going to get it.

Speaker 1 I'm ready to say it. I think this is a legacy year for Kyle Shanahan.
Okay. I think he has to win the Super Bowl.
Or else? Or else.

Speaker 4 The legacy? Tarnished. His pristine championship pedigree has been tarnished?

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I do think, though, if he wins the Super Bowl,

Speaker 1 he will be the hottest. He'll be the number one coach in the NFL.
Like, you know how quickly that happens. Sean McFay wins the Super Bowl number one coach.

Speaker 1 He has his legacy. Like, this is a legacy-defining season for him.

Speaker 2 I saw a healthy QB, though.

Speaker 1 He needs a healthy QB. Brock played last year on Kyle Shanahan.
No, I don't, but I mean,

Speaker 1 he is considered one of the best coaches. I think he's a phenomenal coach.
Everything is on this team. They've paid everyone.
Like, they can't pay everyone what they're paying them forever.

Speaker 1 Everyone's gotten a new contract, hasn't they? Like, Debo, Kittle,

Speaker 1 Bosa just got a contract. What about Warner?

Speaker 4 Is he getting paid yet?

Speaker 1 I think he got a contract. So, like, they basically have to do it with Brock Purdy because they're paying everyone else, which is a good strategy if Brock Purdy could be good.

Speaker 4 If Purdy looks bad, I'm going to start the bring-in Phillip Rivers movement. Yeah.

Speaker 4 What's changed in the last six months? What did Phillip Rivers have six months ago that he doesn't have now that you would consider bringing him in on this team?

Speaker 4 Probably another kid. Yeah, yeah, another child.
Yeah, if Purdy struggles, and I am officially a believer in Purdy, he convinced me after like three starts last year.

Speaker 4 He had that one throw across the middle. I was like, okay, this guy can play.
But if he's not healthy, I think Shanahan owes it to us as football fans to bring in Phillip Rivers.

Speaker 1 I also should say I'm officially a believer in Purdy on the 49ers. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 If you put Purdy on the Cardinals, it would be a disaster. But yeah, on the 49ers, did you also see Minka Fitzpatrick tone setter? He put ropes around the Steelers' locker room

Speaker 1 around the logo in the locker room. Don't touch it.
No more stepping on it. It's the little things.
He said, something as small as keeping our logo clean. It's simple, but it means a lot.

Speaker 4 Yeah, don't touch it. That's a hockey thing, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it is a hockey thing, but I like it. Tone setter.

Speaker 8 Can I throw in one thing at the end of each game? I have one nugget prepared for you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, go ahead.

Speaker 8 Yeah, give us your nuggets.

Speaker 8 So I have a new segment called nerd nuggets okay okay just love it off yeah on social media but I'll throw it on the show too if people and if you guys don't like it no offense like I won't be offended uh for this you'll be a little bit offended you're already apologizing for sure

Speaker 8 okay a weird scheduling quirk the Steelers are opening the season at home for the first time since 2014 over the last eight years Pittsburgh went 5-2-1 on the road in week one oh that is weird so this is their first home week one game in nine years yeah that's that is that's a nerd nugget is there a reason for that was that I think it's luck?

Speaker 4 I know that they like to have like rib fests sometime in early September. Maybe it was like, you know, the Spurs go on the road every year for the rodeo trip.
Maybe it was like the rib trip.

Speaker 4 We couldn't have them in week one.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 8 But it's a rare match. Steelers at home, week one.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Game number three on the TVs.

Speaker 1 This is a this is we have to do this by Commanders Cardinals. Yep.
Commanders Cardinals will be on the TV. Okay.
What are you saying they won't? No. It's already on this.

Speaker 4 It's the start start of an era.

Speaker 1 PFT, sell us on this game being on TV.

Speaker 4 Okay, I've got a great nerd nugget of my own. It's fucking half-price hot dog day in Ralph John, Maryland.
It's a new era.

Speaker 1 Full partnership.

Speaker 4 Full price ad. They took out a full-page ad in the Washington Post to announce that we're doing half-priced hot dogs

Speaker 4 at the game. Dan Snyder could never do that.
He would charge double and they'd be expired and they'd probably already been stuck up his butt. So it's a new system in D.C.
across the board.

Speaker 4 I'm excited to watch Sam Howell.

Speaker 4 The Washington Post also did a very interesting article about Sam Howell and how Mac Brown knew that he was going to be a guy in college because he never went on dates.

Speaker 4 It was even on Valentine's Day. He would be like, Mac would go up to him and say, hey, who's your date? He'd be like, my only date tonight is with Madden.
Wow. He's learning the playbook.

Speaker 4 So he's married to the game.

Speaker 4 He's married to the game of football.

Speaker 1 That also very much could be Mac Brown being so old and out of touch that he didn't realize that Sam Howell has like a hot sorority girlfriend named Madden. That's also true.

Speaker 1 Like that is a hot sorority girlfriend named Maddie. It is, yeah.
Like a bad girl. Yeah.

Speaker 4 A bad, bad girl.

Speaker 1 Maddie. Yeah.
I feel like...

Speaker 1 That would be so great if Mac Brown just didn't understand that situation whatsoever. Yeah.

Speaker 4 But I choose to believe that he, some of us miss football. He misses football because he's married to the game.

Speaker 4 And I think that Sam Howell is giving us every reason to think that he could be a good quarterback this year. Now, he might suck ass.
All right.

Speaker 4 And I've prepared myself for that mentally, but I don't think he's going to suck enough ass to not beat the Cardinals by seven points because I have zero confidence in the Arizona Cardinals.

Speaker 1 No, they're going to suck it. I have a full-on clip every weird thing Jonathan Gannon does mode where I'm just going to be watching him like a hawk.

Speaker 4 You're going to drive? Who drove here?

Speaker 1 Who rode the bus here?

Speaker 7 Well,

Speaker 4 you got to light a fire on yourself.

Speaker 1 I want killers.

Speaker 4 Come on, men. We're going to kill.
We're going to kill or are we going to take a bus here?

Speaker 4 And I'm going to mix up his name with Steichen all the time.

Speaker 1 Can you put that clip in? Because it is that confusing what BFT just did. It was almost verbatim what he did.

Speaker 4 I have no idea what he's trying to do there. I don't know if he's been installed to tank.

Speaker 4 And in fact, we're so dumb and we've been so wrong about the NFL so frequently on the show that now I'm starting to double doubt myself and say, wait, we might be wrong about him.

Speaker 4 He might be a good coach. They might be putting this out.
This might be seven-dimensional chess that they're playing.

Speaker 1 I feel pretty confident saying no.

Speaker 4 I tend to agree with that. And he's not releasing who the starter is going to be because you have to prepare for both

Speaker 4 Josh Dobbs and then somebody else.

Speaker 1 Not Colt McCoy.

Speaker 4 You have to prepare for either Josh Dobbs or not Josh Dobbs if you're the Commanders. And if you're the Cardinals, you have to prepare for either Terry McLaurin or not Terry McLaurin.

Speaker 4 I think he's going to play and I think Chase Young's going to play too. So I love the Commanders.

Speaker 1 Josh Dobbs or not Josh Dobbs is actually like a straight up 50-50 split. I don't know which one I want.

Speaker 4 I think I would rather prepare for

Speaker 4 Josh Dobbs.

Speaker 1 But not Josh Dobbs could literally be anyone.

Speaker 4 If it's not Josh Dobbs, then you're probably not going to get seven interceptions.

Speaker 1 Well, what if it's Nathan Peterman?

Speaker 4 Then you could, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But it's, I know that. But we don't know who's under not

Speaker 4 Josh Dobbs. You either want Josh Dobbs or there's infinity other people that it could be that aren't Josh Dobbs.

Speaker 1 Yes. All right.
What's your nerd nugget?

Speaker 8 The Commanders have won eight straight at home against the Cardinals, dating back to 1999. It's Washington's longest active home winning streak against any opponent.

Speaker 1 All right. Wow.
There we go.

Speaker 4 I'm sold.

Speaker 1 All right. So it is, let's see, roster overview, Arizona Cardinals,

Speaker 1 Josh Dobbs, or wait, where is it?

Speaker 4 Depth chart.

Speaker 1 Do we know? Do you know?

Speaker 4 Does anyone know? It's definitely not Colt. They cut Colt, which, to me, tells me that they are tanking because if you want to win one game, you have Colt McCorry in the roster.

Speaker 1 Clayton Toon. Oh, okay.
Who I actually liked in college a lot. Clayton Toon played for our guy Dana at Houston.
Not a bad.

Speaker 1 I think I want Josh Dobbs now.

Speaker 4 As far as people who aren't Josh Dobbs goes, I would rather have like, I think I would rather take Clayton Toon than 50% of people that aren't Josh Dobbs out there.

Speaker 1 Yes. All right.
Next TV game, Bucs, Vikings.

Speaker 1 Baker Mayfield. Yeah,

Speaker 1 after the first two, it gets a little.

Speaker 4 Don't get me wrong, that wasn't. I wasn't football.
I was just

Speaker 4 the Bucs.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, the Bucs, we will have Stephen Che on the stream.

Speaker 1 But yeah, the Bucs Vikings. We'll see what the Vikings' new defense looks like.

Speaker 1 Baker just trying trying to make something happen. Is Mike Evans hurt or just wants to be traded?

Speaker 4 I think Mike Evans, his career is hurt.

Speaker 1 Okay, because that's the craziest part is like Baker Mayfield probably has his best weapons ever,

Speaker 1 right?

Speaker 4 Yeah, pretty good.

Speaker 1 I mean, Mike Evans is a Hall of Famer.

Speaker 4 Chris Godwin. He had Odell Beckham.

Speaker 1 He did have Odell Beckham for a little bit, but he didn't really want to play there. Yep.
I guess they did have Jarvis Landry and Odell Beckham. But Mike Evans, I would, Mike Evans is awesome.

Speaker 4 He's very good. I feel like he just wants to be traded, though.
He's like, hey, I'm at this point in my career. We're not going to be a contender this year.
Just please move me to a different team.

Speaker 4 Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 I would say he's earned that right for Mike Evans. Nugget.

Speaker 8 Vikings finished 11-0 one-score games last year, just 5-8 in 2021.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it feels like regression of the mean.

Speaker 2 Also, they might not be a contender, but they're in the NFC South.

Speaker 4 True. That's a good point.

Speaker 1 That division, definitely, you could win it with probably eight or nine games.

Speaker 4 So the good news for Kirk Cousins is I don't think it's going to be a one-score game. I feel like this is prime Kirk Cousins opening day against an inferior team.

Speaker 4 It's buried in the one o'clock, noon o'clock slate, so he's not going to be standing out. This is a good Kirk Cousins game.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. And then the last TV game, number five, I'll let you guys pick one or two.

Speaker 1 Two. Okay.

Speaker 1 Let's do one.

Speaker 4 I said two.

Speaker 1 Which one would you like?

Speaker 1 Big two. Jake, break the tie.
Break the tie.

Speaker 1 One or two. Number two.
Number two. You want two? All right.
You just got Ryan Tannehill versus Derek Carr, Titan Saints. The other one was Jags Colts.
Yeah. That's kind of a toss-up.

Speaker 1 You get Jags Colts? Hank was right. Hank was right.
All right, so we'll go one. Trevor Lawrence, Trevor Lawrence, Anthony Richardson.

Speaker 2 That's a QB matchup we go to watch.

Speaker 1 Jags Colts. And we have our winners, right? Did we announce our winners for the Colts tickets?

Speaker 8 Aye and Colin. Congratulations.

Speaker 6 Congratulations.

Speaker 4 Aye and Colin. The baby Ursai pictures were everything that we had hoped for and more.

Speaker 4 So you will be going to the game this weekend. We'll have to figure out something different to do next week because I feel like baby Ursae is a one-time thing.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. We'll just keep doing babies.
Yeah, I think

Speaker 1 they're not home again until week four, so we have some time. He was asking Indianapolis people to send us their children, yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, uh, yeah, this game, Jags Colts, I agree. Now, I'll say this right now: Dennis Allen, who is an AWL, longtime listener, if you decide to start Jameis Winston, you will get on the TV.

Speaker 4 Absolutely. That's a fact.
Yeah, we'll smash the Jameis, we'll break that glass in case of emergency.

Speaker 4 What's the stat in this one, Jake? Do you have the nerd nugget that says that the Colts

Speaker 4 haven't won in week one?

Speaker 8 In 2013, which I've been reminding you guys all summer, which you are ignoring, right?

Speaker 1 Well, you now say ignore everything. Well, you told me to ignore everything.
Yeah, but then you told it back to us. Yeah.

Speaker 8 That and they're having a different week one starting quarterback for the eighth straight year, the Colts.

Speaker 4 That's pretty impressive.

Speaker 8 Andrew Luck, Scott Tolzine, Andrew Luck again, Jacoby Brissette, Phillip Rivers, Carson Wentz, Matt Ryan, Anthony Richardson. Wow.

Speaker 1 That's a very seasonal.

Speaker 4 They're very depressing list.

Speaker 1 1-13-1 against the spread since 2008. Week ones.

Speaker 4 Anthony Richardson, though.

Speaker 1 Anthony Richardson. Okay.
Your Heisman Trophy winner.

Speaker 4 Good point, Hank. But counterpoint,

Speaker 4 Jaguars, minimum 13 wins.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Per people.
Disaster if they don't disaster. Oh, man, if they don't win this one,

Speaker 4 it's going to be tough to find your way to 13 wins if you lose week one to the Colts.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Trevor Lawrence is 4-14 straight up and 7-11 against the spread on the road. Hmm.
Hmm. Okay, I know this sounds sounds stupid about Trevor Lawrence, but I believe in these things.

Speaker 1 I think the demise of Dabo definitely affects Trevor Lawrence.

Speaker 1 It's like college rankings, like your diploma goes down. If Dabo starts to go into the dumpster, Trevor Lawrence, now it's like, well, what did he ever do?

Speaker 4 But Counterpoint, doesn't it make Trevor Lawrence look better? He overcame him. He was able to drag Dabbo

Speaker 1 to a bad thing.

Speaker 1 Okay, so that

Speaker 1 sounds like we're going to play the results. We'll have to wait.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 So post-weekly. Sounds like we're right.
We'll figure out which one of us was right because somebody on the show is.

Speaker 1 Well, no, we're both right because we're both believing in both at the same time. And whenever the results come out, we'll assign.
Yeah. It's called the story side.

Speaker 4 That way I always come out on top.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's predetermining storylines. And then we fit in the pieces at the end.

Speaker 4 I keep expecting Trevor Lawrence to just wow me and come out week one with slightly shorter hair.

Speaker 4 And then I could fully believe in him. Then I could be like, this dude can win a Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But no,

Speaker 1 he won't. Uh, all right, other games: Panthers, Falcons.
This game's gonna probably stink, although I'm high on the Falcons.

Speaker 1 Uh, we didn't even mention that Arthur Smith created the Joker position for Corderelle Patterson, yeah, that ruled.

Speaker 1 Uh, Arthur Smith felt a little testy there at the press conference. I like that, I want a little fire from him.

Speaker 4 Did you see what the uh, the new wrinkle that the Falcons are going to be unveiling in Mercedes-Benz Superdome is?

Speaker 4 No, they've got a security guard, but it's a dog, it's a robotic security guard dog named Benzi, like the Boston Dynamics dog? It's like the Boston Dynamics dog.

Speaker 4 It's going to be patrolling the sidelines.

Speaker 4 I think they need to resign Michael Vick to take care of this thing because this thing is freaking me out.

Speaker 4 Nobody wants the weird robot security dogs. Bezos and Boston Dynamics have been pushing those weird fucking dogs on us for years.

Speaker 4 We don't want it. We don't want those dogs.

Speaker 1 No, thank you.

Speaker 4 But anyways, that's my fun. That's my man, my man meat as opposed to Jake's nerd nugget.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think the Falcons are going to win this game.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 the last thing I had was, did you guys see? It was a very niche fantasy argument that I just gave me a little chuckle.

Speaker 1 An athletic writer did a big breakdown of the Falcons roster, and he said that Kyle Pitts is going to be fourth in targets this year. And everyone's like, what the fuck? Fourth?

Speaker 1 How are you fourth in targets? And then he was like, well, I meant targets plus carries, which is a completely different thing.

Speaker 4 So does he also include, like, I guess, Bijan Robinson?

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, yeah. Tyler Algier is like third and Kyle Pitts is fourth.
And everyone's like, How the hell is this guy going to get more targets than Kyle Pitts?

Speaker 1 He's like, Well, I was talking about carries.

Speaker 4 Dude, he meant touches.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes, touches on the ball. Opportunities.

Speaker 4 I'm very interested to see what Arthur Smith does with Bijan Robinson. If you get a new toy at running back, you draft him very high.

Speaker 4 Are you just going to give him the ball 30 times in the first game? Why not?

Speaker 1 I would. Why not? Let's ride.
All right, Titans.

Speaker 4 I do have a fun stat for this game. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Number one overall quarterbacks and their debuts are 0-13 and 1 straight up. 1 and 13 against the spread.

Speaker 4 Now, don't look any further into that than thinking, like, okay, maybe the team that drafts in the first overall position isn't very good. Yeah.

Speaker 4 We're just talking, this is a complete judgment on Bryce Young as an individual here. So according to history, 0, 13, and 1 straight up.
Just keep that in mind.

Speaker 1 That's tough. That's tough.

Speaker 4 All the Bryce's members out there.

Speaker 1 I'm holding my Bryce's stock.

Speaker 1 It's a long play.

Speaker 4 You're going to see who comes out on top.

Speaker 1 It's not going to be great this year. I'll say that right now, but it's a long play.
Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 8 Frank Reich's tenure as Panthers head coach begins in a familiar place. He started as the opening day quarterback in the Panthers' inaugural season in 95 against the Falcons.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. Interesting.
Okay, that's very interesting. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, Titans Saints.

Speaker 1 This has the chances of being the most boring game with two teams that could go to the playoffs because I feel like this is going to be defense, new, you know, Derek Carr, new offense, maybe slow start.

Speaker 1 And I feel like the Titans are going to win like 20 to 17.

Speaker 4 I'm kind of believing in the Saints.

Speaker 1 I'm kind of believing in the Titans.

Speaker 4 Because here's the thing. Derek Carr, not a bad quarterback.

Speaker 1 Jameis is better.

Speaker 4 Not a great quarterback. Jameis is definitely better, but Derek Carr, not a bad quarterback.
Their defense was really good last year.

Speaker 1 I guess I should say that if Derek Carr beat out Jameis in the depth chart, then Derek Carr is a Hall of Famer.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he should be. First ballot.

Speaker 1 Because Jameis is a Hall of Famer.

Speaker 4 They are going to be missing Alvin Kamara, who's suspended for, what, three weeks, four weeks? Is that the punching incident?

Speaker 4 That was the punching incident from like five years ago where he beat up a guy in Las Vegas, which you should be allowed to do. There's no rules in Las Vegas.

Speaker 4 So he's out, so I don't know how the running game is going to look, but I still feel like Derek Carr probably an upgrade at the quarterback position. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Who was it last year?

Speaker 4 Andy Dalton. Andy Dalton.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Andrew Dalton.
Yes, and Ian Book in that one game that was the worst game ever played.

Speaker 4 And Blake Bortles was on the roster, though.

Speaker 1 Blake Bortles was on the roster.

Speaker 1 Okay, and then last game in the noon slate, Texas Texans, Ravens. So

Speaker 1 Ravens are going to demolish the Texans.

Speaker 4 I probably agree with that. And I am Stroud Boy.

Speaker 1 Oh, is it going to be in the Hunter?

Speaker 2 No, they're not. They're not.
They're not. But

Speaker 2 this is probably... The biggest survivor pick that if they lose, it'll be the classic.
Like, 90% of people's survivor pools are busted.

Speaker 1 Agreed. Agreed.

Speaker 4 And that always happens. Last I checked, it was 30% of America is taking the Ravens and survivor pools.
20% is taking the Commanders, which is wild to think. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But what was that?

Speaker 1 That might be it then.

Speaker 2 That might be it then.

Speaker 4 What you pushed on?

Speaker 2 One of those two is winning.

Speaker 4 You're going to take

Speaker 2 the Cardinals. The Commanders of the Texans.
The Cardinals of the Texans.

Speaker 4 I'm going to take the Cardinals. I know it.
I just know you are.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I probably will. Yeah, just do it.

Speaker 4 But this is a new look Ravens.

Speaker 4 They got wide receivers for the first time. That's going to look very unusual to see the Ravens throwing the ball downfield.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 I think Lamar's going to have an awesome year. I'm high on Lamar this year.
All right. Afternoon games.

Speaker 4 Packers, Bears.

Speaker 1 I've said this on many platforms, but I do, it's slightly hyperbolic, but I do think that this might be the biggest game in Bears' franchise history.

Speaker 1 And I know what you do.

Speaker 2 You're going to set yourself up then.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. It's good that I'm not putting too much weight into this game.

Speaker 1 But yeah, it feels so significant because it is the Packers, because it's Jordan Love's first, you know, real season, Justin Fields' big season, hopefully coming up.

Speaker 1 It just, there's been a lot of shit talk,

Speaker 1 a lot of people talking about Justin Fields sucking. I'm so excited to see this Bears offense.

Speaker 4 Who are these people that thinks that Justin Fields sucks?

Speaker 1 A lot of people do. I mean, a lot of people.

Speaker 4 He's very good.

Speaker 1 I know, but a lot of people think that's very good.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of people who think he's trash.

Speaker 4 Well, I would disagree with that.

Speaker 1 I would disagree a lot.

Speaker 4 I think the Bears are going to win this game, Big Cat, but I did go back and I watched some of the all 22 on Jordan Love, and I saw that one pass that he threw that went like 70 yards. Yeah.

Speaker 4 He was rolling out to his left. There was one pass

Speaker 4 that made me nervous. It was a really good pass.

Speaker 1 It's just going to be a really sad day. But you know what?

Speaker 1 This is why the AWS are AWLs. I know what they're rooting for.
They're rooting for, like, I will be as sad as sad could be for a week one loss. Because like week one, you shouldn't get that down.

Speaker 1 I will be as down as I could be. Is Christian Wood playing i don't know he's got a hammy but i think he was just limited in practice either way the bears watson christian watson

Speaker 1 you're not gonna like this one go ahead oh god christian watson did not practice again today okay good he's a problem

Speaker 8 so jordan love obviously the only third the only the third quarterback to start a season open for since for green bay since 1993

Speaker 8 Jordan love will become the only the third quarterback to start a season opener for green bay since 1993. Both Aaron Rodgers and Brett Favre were winners in their first week one starts.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 4 you know what?

Speaker 4 Fuck teams like the Patriots, no disrespect, Hank, and the Packers that have gotten to enjoy, and for a while, the Colts, who get to enjoy just decades of consistency at quarterbacks.

Speaker 1 This has been my argument about anyone out there

Speaker 1 who, a Bears fan who's wavering at all on Justin Fields, Jordan Love, this whole dynamic, just go all in. Blind faith.

Speaker 1 Go all in with Justin Fields and go all in saying that Jordan Love is going to suck. What's the worst thing that could happen? You could be wrong.

Speaker 1 We just go right back to where we've been for the last 25 years, where the Packers have a Hall of Fame quarterback and the Bears are searching for them.

Speaker 1 If it's not as catastrophic of a situation if you've lived through it, like I know where, like, if I have to go back to this place, it would be like going back to an old apartment being like, oh, yeah, I know where the, you know, like, I know that this floorboard's a little weird.

Speaker 1 I know, like, you know, the toilet is a little, you got to hit it twice. Like, I know the place that, that I could end up in.
So why not just believe that it's going to be different this time?

Speaker 4 Yeah, you should. Right.
Blind faith. You absolutely should.

Speaker 1 It's okay to love, okay?

Speaker 2 It's okay to go.

Speaker 1 Well, no.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah. It's okay to field.

Speaker 1 It's okay to feel

Speaker 4 the motion. Field

Speaker 4 your fieldings. Yes.
And just lean into it. This is a rare chance that you have for your Bears fan.

Speaker 4 There's no chance that he sucks. He's not a sucky quarterback.

Speaker 1 Jordan Love? No, no.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. All right.

Speaker 4 He's not bad. He's really good.
He did things that I've never seen a quarterback do last year. I think he's going to be better.
He's going to have a better career than Trevor Lawrence.

Speaker 4 I'm going to stand by that commitment. Let's go.
I said it just, I said it for my balls one time last year, not for my brain. Feel it.

Speaker 4 But sometimes I'm feeling my fieldings right now, and it's coming from my balls.

Speaker 1 I saw someone say by the end of the season, Justin Fields will be the second best quarterback in the NFC.

Speaker 1 That's a good take to have because there's not a ton of quarterbacks in the NFC, but it feels good to say. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, Raiders,

Speaker 1 I actually think the Broncos.

Speaker 1 Here's my theory. I don't think the Broncos are going to be very good overall.
I think this game they're going to be very good because Sean Payton is going to call the best game of his life.

Speaker 1 And then when Russell Wilson eventually regresses, he can be like, look, you saw what I was able to do for a couple weeks here.

Speaker 4 It's not my fault. I actually think that the Raiders are going to be a historically bad team this year.
I think all the signs are pointing to the Raiders just completely imploding on themselves. And

Speaker 4 I'm going to really enjoy watching that. The curse of cutting Will Compton.
That's what I say.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I like that. I like that a lot.

Speaker 8 Max Crosby is a Broncos killer. 11 and a half sacks over his last seven games against Denver.

Speaker 1 Wow. Wow.
Okay.

Speaker 4 Jake, you know, who else was a Broncos killer? Who? OJ.

Speaker 1 I think the weather's going to be in like the mid-80s, which doesn't really meet my usual formula, but it's like statistically a very profitable thing to back the Broncos in September at home. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because it's hot and the altitude, it's very hard for teams to adjust to that. So just throw that out there.

Speaker 4 Yep.

Speaker 4 I also like interdivisional matchups in week one.

Speaker 1 Oh, I love it.

Speaker 4 I really love it.

Speaker 4 You get off to a hot start. I love it.
Also, we should mention Carl Nassib retired.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 4 Shout out. Thanks for coming out, Carl Nassib.

Speaker 1 Yes. Thank you.

Speaker 11 That's a fun fact about Carl Nassib.

Speaker 1 Yeah, give it to us. Penn State.
Penn State.

Speaker 11 Also, his dad was my dad's roommate in college.

Speaker 1 Wow. Whoa.
Yeah, I knew.

Speaker 11 And Ryan Nassib, his brother, played with my brother.

Speaker 4 The circus.

Speaker 4 Does the sneaking out in the middle of the night and waking up in your roommate's bed thing, does that run the family?

Speaker 1 I don't know how that relates. Does Carl Nassib being gay run in the family?

Speaker 1 In his family? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't think so.

Speaker 4 Okay. It's fine if it does.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 We're a sex positive podcast. We always have been.
Love is love. We'll have a presentation later.

Speaker 4 Fields is Fields. Yeah, Fields is Fields.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. Dolphins-Chargers.
Fun matchup.

Speaker 4 Yeah, very fun. Fun uniform matchup.

Speaker 4 This matchup to me screams points.

Speaker 1 It's points, and it's also, if you remember last year, the moment that the Dolphins season started to really crater was that Dolphins-Chargers game when it felt like the Chargers had figured out how to stop Mike McDaniel's offense and they like, you know, were jamming him at the line and not letting them have explosive plays.

Speaker 1 It also had, remember, was that the game that Tyreek Hill picked up the ball and ran for a touchdown?

Speaker 4 That was awesome.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because I think I had the over in that game and I was like, oh, we're back. And it ended at like 17-10.

Speaker 4 Tyreek is going to look so fast against the Seawards.

Speaker 4 The Seawards are actually healthy right now, as we say every year in week one. They're finally healthy.
They're a healthy team. I don't want to curse them, but I kind of.

Speaker 4 I kind of believe in them in the first four games of this season.

Speaker 4 Because that's usually, you can set your watch to it. That's when they usually have their first debilitating injury of the year to an impact player.
They're healthy right now. I think I'm going to.

Speaker 4 I lasted exactly zero games of the Seawards and not betting on them. I'm going to bet on the Seawards this week.

Speaker 1 I think this is a, do you have any pride game for Mike McDaniel? What's that? That's a series.

Speaker 4 She's an eavesdropping bitch.

Speaker 1 He's got eight months to figure out this Chargers' defense that kind of put him in a body bag last year. Yeah.
So I think the Dolphins are going to come out explosives. Pew, pew, pew, pew.
Shots.

Speaker 4 Hot seat, Brandon Staley. Yeah, officially on the hot seat before the season even starts because he's doing those weird yoga things.

Speaker 1 Yeah, nice guy. We really actually enjoyed Brandon Staley on the show.
We should have him back on. Actually, we should have him back on.

Speaker 1 He should come back on so that if the hot seat gets hot, you know that we'll be too big of pussies to actually put him on the hot seat. Correct.

Speaker 4 So

Speaker 1 do the right move, Brandon Staley. Come back on the show.

Speaker 1 That just goes for any coach. If you think you're about to lose your job, just come on the show and we will be cowards about it for at least a month.

Speaker 1 like Nathaniel Hackett got way too much

Speaker 4 we were too nice I mean who's the one coach that we put on the hot seat more than any other coach in the NFL right now

Speaker 1 on this show we Bill Belichick talk about Belichick Calapari Calapari yeah but also Bill Belichick yeah and he's never been on the show yeah so you gotta come on the show uh Rams Seahawks I actually think the Rams are gonna be really really bad okay

Speaker 1 yeah I think they're in like a weird almost tanking but not tanking situation Cooper Cup obviously out uh matthew stafford i feel like i don't know i don't know what to expect we don't know what we're doing injuries have been weird um

Speaker 1 beneath time maybe yeah they're resetting the whole deck like the salary cap they didn't go out and make like the crazy i actually think and quote me if i'm wrong i believe that next year come

Speaker 1 late april

Speaker 1 the los angeles rams will be selecting in the first round that's incredible insane fuck them picks insane so the first time they've had a first-round pick maybe a little, you know, tankaroo, top-five pick.

Speaker 4 So if they're trying to take quarterbacks? I would imagine that they would not have Matt Stafford play this season.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, he's going to start.

Speaker 4 He's going to start, but who knows?

Speaker 1 Will he finish?

Speaker 4 If things look bad, they might take him out. Also,

Speaker 4 you know that guy, Dove Kleinman? Yeah, the robot? The robot. Did you know that he reported inaccurately that

Speaker 4 Kelly Stafford's wife had cancer again?

Speaker 1 That's pretty fucked up.

Speaker 4 And then he deleted it and acted like it didn't happen?

Speaker 1 That's really fucked up. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Mike Floro, you're off the hook killing Terry Bradshaw.

Speaker 4 I completely forgot about that.

Speaker 1 Yikes. You can't delete that.
You have to edit that. Yes.

Speaker 1 You can't just be like, whoops. Yeah.
None of the C here.

Speaker 4 You just edit it and

Speaker 2 JK. But it does not.

Speaker 4 Psych.

Speaker 4 He just replied to your tweet with Psych.

Speaker 1 All right. Last afternoon game.
It's a big one. Eagles Patriots.
I can't believe we get Max versus Hank week one. What a treat.

Speaker 8 Popcorn.

Speaker 4 Kettle corn.

Speaker 1 Get your kettle corn ready, as everyone says.

Speaker 1 First, let's address the Bill Belichick rumors.

Speaker 1 Would you like to? So

Speaker 1 the Daily Mail reported that Bill Belichick and his longtime girlfriend have broken up.

Speaker 2 News is mail.

Speaker 1 And it's

Speaker 1 Pat's executives are on edge. The report says there's a concern about what Linda might post about online after the breakup.
The report also says it's been a drawn-out back and forth breakup.

Speaker 1 Kind of feels dirty to be doing this reporting.

Speaker 2 Here's a question. Who's ever been in a breakup and hasn't been a little worried about what gets posted after breakup?

Speaker 1 True, good point. Good point, Hank.

Speaker 1 Probably a lot of people.

Speaker 2 And Bill Belchuk doesn't use social media, so he can't fire back.

Speaker 1 And he's about to start the season.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 she's probably mad. She could probably.

Speaker 1 She's probably a Jets operative.

Speaker 2 Yeah, like she... She's got all the ammo because she's the one that's on social media.
She's got a good following. And he's just focused on the season.

Speaker 4 What would be the funniest thing?

Speaker 9 That's what their concern is.

Speaker 4 Okay, what would be the funniest thing to come out of her posting a screenshot or some sort of fetish that Bill Belichick has?

Speaker 2 Like Bill Belichick and Gronk. Well, I guess he's got a girlfriend, too.
Like some type of boys' trip Bill Belichick went on.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and did what? Hilarious. And did what?

Speaker 1 Partied.

Speaker 4 I think

Speaker 4 a foot fetish would be very funny. If you had to think

Speaker 4 she loved feet, like Micah Parsons.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's why he loves Doug Fluti dropkick.

Speaker 1 Yeah, piss situation.

Speaker 1 Why are we just not understanding the obvious here? What if she just knows the playbook?

Speaker 1 Like, we're thinking about breakup stuff. What if she just knows, like, Bill Belichick, what do you think Bill Belichick and his girlfriend talk about at dinner? Football.

Speaker 1 And then she knows everything that Bill Belichick knows about football.

Speaker 2 The dog that Bill Belichick had drafting for the team that COVID year is her dog.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so it could be just.

Speaker 4 So the Patriots might lose their GM.

Speaker 1 Yeah, fuck. It's tough.

Speaker 4 It would actually, it would make a lot of sense if her and Tom Brady had a thing. Tom moves out of town, goes down to Florida.

Speaker 4 It was a lot easier for him to be with her when he was up in New England, just stay late at the facility. Now he's like hopping on planes, taking secret plane rides to go visit Linda.
He gets caught.

Speaker 4 Giselle breaks up with him. Maybe that's what was going on.

Speaker 4 You should send this to Floria. I will.

Speaker 2 The good news is that Tom Brady will be in the building, and they can probably talk about how to deal with a public breakup.

Speaker 1 Oh, they're honoring him. Oh, they're honoring him.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 They're going to come out in a special formation like Harbaugh. That'd be great.
Also, Hank,

Speaker 4 my antenna went up yesterday because Belichick gave one of his patented 10-minute long answers.

Speaker 2 It was amazing.

Speaker 1 He does this. It was amazing.
This is why I want him on the show so bad.

Speaker 4 He does it like once a season, and they asked him about long snappers. Do you really need a long snapper on the roster?

Speaker 4 Can't you just train somebody else that's an impact player to long snap and save that roster spot?

Speaker 4 Well, he goes on a 10-minute explanation about the history of special teams, punt block formation, and then how punters have now become holders.

Speaker 4 And it just goes into all these crazy football tangents. He gives a little smile at the end of it, like, that's your one answer that you get per year.
I was happy to give it.

Speaker 4 I was thinking to myself, maybe it sounds like he's buttering up the media a little bit to get them on his side, being friendly with them, knowing that a bombshell is about to drop.

Speaker 4 I don't think there's a bombshell about to drop, and you said it.

Speaker 2 He does it once a year, and it's always a question. That's a random question, usually about special teams or something like that, that he just, he loves to to go in depth on, show his knowledge.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 okay, so Max, this is a big game for you. Why? Because let's be honest, the Eagles have Super Bowl aspirations.
The Patriots,

Speaker 1 not a lot of people are pushing them to go to the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 What would be one thing that would bother you for the whole year is Hank having a Trump card where he can just lay it on the table and be like, Are the Eagles that good? The Patriots beat him.

Speaker 11 Yeah, that would really suck, but

Speaker 1 it comes down to this.

Speaker 1 Okay, hold on. Hold on.
Let me stand up and sit down for this.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.
It comes down to this.

Speaker 6 Eagles are good.

Speaker 11 Patriots bad.

Speaker 1 Eagles,

Speaker 11 Eagles' D-line, best pass rush in the league.

Speaker 4 Except in the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 Pat's O-line

Speaker 1 bad.

Speaker 1 According to Pete Prisco.

Speaker 11 According to Pete Prischko, Pat's O-line, very bad. I don't know how they're stopping the Eagles' D-line.
And it's not like Mac Jones is going to be evading a lot of pressure back there.

Speaker 1 That's really the only thing.

Speaker 11 Like, I don't see a scenario where the Eagles D-line doesn't sack Mac Jones six times.

Speaker 4 Did you hear the part

Speaker 1 about

Speaker 1 Brady being in the building? So don't care.

Speaker 1 Like, really, really, really bad. It's not like you've ever

Speaker 4 liked the features.

Speaker 1 It's not like you've never beaten Tom Brady in the 50 games. He doesn't even like them anymore.

Speaker 8 Also, luckily for Max, the Eagles have the most week one victories since 2011 in the league. They've won 10 of their last 12 week one games.

Speaker 1 They're hot. Are you nervous to start this season? I'm excited.

Speaker 1 There's more involved here. The whole week afterwards, one of you is going to get to shit talk the other.

Speaker 11 No, no, this is a win-win for Hank.

Speaker 1 How? Why?

Speaker 11 I mean, if they lose, he doesn't give a shit.

Speaker 1 I do give a shit. What do you think? The Pats fucking shit.
He doesn't suck.

Speaker 11 Like, he did this last year when the Pats started to suck.

Speaker 1 He just didn't care. He just became a Cowboys fan.

Speaker 2 That was gambling related, which has gotten twisted in an unbelievable way. I am more excited for this season than I have been in a while.
Obviously, there's so many years where it's like,

Speaker 1 you had Tom tell me the story on the golf. What about all the seasons you won Super Bowl?

Speaker 2 The regular season was nerve-wracking, and it was literally just

Speaker 2 basically the preseason for the playoffs. It didn't matter what happened in the regular season.

Speaker 2 You knew you were going to the playoffs, and you knew you had to go at least to the AFC Championship, and the season was a disappointment.

Speaker 2 Even if they would win games, if they didn't win, you know, in a blowout, people would still be shit talking. And we spent so much time on the show where the Patriots would squeak out a win.

Speaker 2 You guys would be like, well, they're not that good. They barely won.
This year, no expectations. Everyone thinks they're going to suck.

Speaker 2 Everyone thinks the fucking Jets and the Dolphins are like two of the greatest NFL franchises of all time. And the Patriots get to play spoiler all year long.
It's exciting.

Speaker 1 Spoiler means you're bad.

Speaker 2 We get to play spoiler. That means you're bad.

Speaker 4 They're going to play spoiler.

Speaker 1 Playing spoiler in week one is the bad. You're not worried.

Speaker 2 Are you saying that they're going to to spoil themselves into the playoffs i exactly i think in the national media i have high expectations for this team but the national media like jabronis like yourself think they have no shot you're on the exact podcast we're on the jets and dolphins

Speaker 1 i said let's i think the patriots aren't going to be bad i just think their division is so fucking stacked that there's very margin there's very thin margin for error for any team in the afc but the patriots operate as a team that's much better with less margin for error the Jets and the Dolphins are just notoriously joke franchises.

Speaker 2 People are expecting them to overcome all this stuff and ride into the playoffs.

Speaker 1 You really are a Cowboys fan.

Speaker 1 We're America's team. This is what a Notre Dame Cowboys fan would say.

Speaker 1 And Duke.

Speaker 4 He said, we're America's team.

Speaker 1 Our franchise is a real franchise. The other franchises are jokes.
Hank is looking at the colors.

Speaker 1 You're looking at the colors and saying, could you ever see a franchise like the Tampa Bay Buccaneers winning a Super Bowl? No. Well,

Speaker 2 they had Tom Brady.

Speaker 2 That's

Speaker 2 basically the only reason they won.

Speaker 4 Factor fiction.

Speaker 1 The defense is pretty good.

Speaker 4 The Bucs had to become the Patriots to win.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Tom Brady and Gronk. Yeah.
Yeah, true.

Speaker 4 True. All right, so Hank, give me your official Patriots record prediction this year.

Speaker 4 How many wins are you going to spoilers? 11.

Speaker 1 11. So how many losses? Seven.

Speaker 1 Okay. Good.
18 games. Good mess.
Thanks. Six.

Speaker 1 Let me switch to 18.

Speaker 1 18 weeks. 18 weeks.
Yeah. Gone by.
Yeah. Okay.
Got it. All right.
We're excited for this game. We'll be streaming this game.
This will be going on during Bears Packers.

Speaker 1 So PFT will be sitting nice 1-0 at this time. I'm jealous of you.

Speaker 4 Number one in the NFC East. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Brady Jersey. Nuclear missile on the Pats.

Speaker 1 Ooh.

Speaker 11 Nuke. New football guy shirt.

Speaker 1 Nice. Oh, yeah.
We have support the God.

Speaker 1 Okay. Cowboys, Giants, last game, Sunday.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I just don't.
I know that everyone's like the Cowboys are so good. I just, I know we talked about this Pete Prisco, but like Mike McCarthy's fat.
Dak Prescott throws interceptions.

Speaker 4 You clearly didn't read the news this morning, Pigat.

Speaker 1 Oh, no.

Speaker 4 Because the Dallas Cowboys have been training with Navy SEALs this offseason.

Speaker 1 But not Mike McCarthy.

Speaker 4 Not Mike McCarthy. No.
So the Cowboys were training with SEALs. They had them lead like an off-site group meeting together.
This is how Tiger Woods got. It's the Tiger Woods example.
Yeah. 100%.

Speaker 4 So they just wrote down on a big whiteboard, February 11th, 2024.

Speaker 1 Whoa. That's the day of the Super Bowl.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he probably couldn't figure that one out. But that's what

Speaker 6 they're thinking Soupy.

Speaker 1 Soupy. I'm excited to see what Dable does in the second year.

Speaker 4 I think he was the best coach in the NFL last year.

Speaker 1 The one thing I have to be fair, if we're going to say that the Vikings could potentially regress the mean on their one-score wins, the Giants also did have a lot of those wins.

Speaker 1 They had a lot of weird wins where things kind of like the ball bounced their way in the fourth quarter. So sustainability, I don't know.
I do think both teams are going to be very very good, though.

Speaker 4 I think Giants. Giants, yeah.
I think Giants are coming off with the Cowboys.

Speaker 8 Dach Prescott has dominated the Giants. He's won 10 in a row.
His last loss against them came in 2016. To put that in perspective, Daniel Jones was a freshman at Duke.
Okay. The last time he lost.

Speaker 8 Whoa.

Speaker 1 That's wild. No, I know the Cowboys kill the Giants.
I think it's like 16 and one or something ridiculous in the last 10 years or whatever, however many years that is.

Speaker 1 Okay. We'll do Bills Jets on Sunday.
We'll preview it when we recap all the games. Okay, that is the full slate.
Let's do our picks.

Speaker 1 How are we starting? Who starts?

Speaker 1 Random. What did you do last time?

Speaker 4 Random number generator. Yeah, so who's picking? Who are we keeping track of right now?

Speaker 8 You, Big Cot, Hank, Jake, Max, Memes.

Speaker 1 It's the six of us. And reminder, it's two picks a week.
No overlapping picks.

Speaker 1 And the loser has to do a one-hour live show in Las Vegas where they can only play one song on the guitar if they know it. Yep.
It has to be like three or four minutes. Can't do like a free bird.

Speaker 4 Yeah. I get to do free bird.

Speaker 1 And they can't do like

Speaker 1 questions from the crowd. It has to be your talent on display.
And we will put it on video. We'll do a pay-per-view.
We'll also

Speaker 1 second place's opening act for 15 minutes. Yep.

Speaker 4 Okay, so let's see. Who wants to be number one?

Speaker 1 Me.

Speaker 4 Okay, so Hank, you're number one. Two, three, four, five.
I'm number six. I'm doing the random number generator.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 Generate one.

Speaker 1 Let's go. God damn it.
So Hank goes first. You go second, PFT, or I go first.

Speaker 8 We go clockwise.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 But you get

Speaker 1 a snake. So you get two picks in a row.
Whatever.

Speaker 1 You get two picks in a row. Whatever.

Speaker 1 All right, Hank, your best bet.

Speaker 1 Oh, is he going to do it? Is he going to do it? Do it, bitch.

Speaker 4 Do it. Do it.
Do it to my face. Do it, bitch.
Do it to my face. Do it, bitch.
Why don't you look me in the eye while you do it?

Speaker 1 Do it, you fucking bitch.

Speaker 2 I would, but it's a terrible pick, so I'm gonna take the Patriots plus four.

Speaker 1 Okay, good pick. Okay, Patriots plus four is your pick against the Eagles.
Against the Eagles.

Speaker 1 Okay, I am going to.

Speaker 1 I have a problem this week, and my problem is I love every single underdog. Literally every single underdog.

Speaker 2 Story of my life.

Speaker 1 It is a problem, and I know that that's a problem.

Speaker 1 I will go, though,

Speaker 1 with

Speaker 1 the Browns plus two and a half. Oh.
Browns plus two and a half. That'll be my pick.

Speaker 4 Memes. They're going to be so drunk in Cleveland.

Speaker 10 It's going to be awesome. Going with the Seahawks minus four and a half.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 8 Okay. I see five and a half.

Speaker 1 I see four and a half.

Speaker 11 I was going to go.

Speaker 1 That was going to be my pick, Big Cat.

Speaker 11 I told me ahead of time.

Speaker 1 Browns? Yep. I stole your pick.
Yep, that was going to be my pick.

Speaker 11 Hell yes.

Speaker 11 But now I'm going to.

Speaker 2 Why'd you tell me your pick ahead of time?

Speaker 1 They tell each each other everything. There are no secrets between these two

Speaker 1 girls.

Speaker 11 I am going to go. Steelers plus two.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 That was my secondary pick, Matt.

Speaker 8 I need two and a half for that. I don't know if these are moving quickly.

Speaker 4 I get two and a half, too. Great.
Give me the half.

Speaker 1 Give them the half.

Speaker 8 I'm trying to keep everyone honest.

Speaker 1 Well, you weren't doing a good job when you said five and a half. Yeah, and then I refreshed.
Five and a half, yeah.

Speaker 8 Okay, I'm going to go with

Speaker 8 Sean Payton calling the game of his life, game of a lifetime, minus three and a half Broncos against the Raiders.

Speaker 1 Okay. I like that, too.
Okay, PFT, you got two picks.

Speaker 4 All right. I'm taking commies.

Speaker 4 Let's go. Commanders.
Minus seven. Fired a missile out of two weeks ago.
I feel more confident today.

Speaker 4 They're going to win by 14. Okay.
We're going to win the Super Bowl this year. It's going to be awesome.

Speaker 4 And then I'm going to go with for my other one.

Speaker 1 Totals. Yep.
Which you can pick in the first, like, we all end up picking Spray, but you can, if you like a total the most, you can pick it first.

Speaker 4 So these are my two favorite picks, so I'm happy. I'm happy with where I'm at right now.
Packers Bears over 42.

Speaker 1 Ah, I like 41 and a half.

Speaker 7 41 and a half and a half. Let's go.

Speaker 8 Okay, it dropped in the last hour.

Speaker 4 I love that. The Bears, they felt like they were over machines last year.

Speaker 2 Yep.

Speaker 4 And I feel like they'll be over machines again.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 8 All right. I'm going with a non-TV game under.
Panthers, Falcons under 39.5.

Speaker 1 Ooh, that's smart non-TV game. Let's see.

Speaker 8 That's like a movie strategy, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, Max.

Speaker 11 I'm going with the one I hate the most, and that is Commies Cardinals over 38, I think it is.

Speaker 4 We'll have that by halftime.

Speaker 1 38 and a half.

Speaker 4 We're going to drop 40 on them by the second quarter.

Speaker 1 Memes.

Speaker 1 Memesy.

Speaker 1 Memesy boy.

Speaker 10 I'm going to go with the 49ers, Steelers, over 41.5.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.

Speaker 1 I am going to go with a non-TV game as well.

Speaker 1 Falcons. Panthers under 39.5.

Speaker 1 I feel like both teams are going to run the ball. Oh, you took that? Fuck.
I thought he took the

Speaker 1 shit.

Speaker 1 My bad. I like that pick a lot.
I thought he took the Texas Ravens. My bad.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'm going to go it over. Fuck that.
I'm going to go Dolphins, Chargers.

Speaker 4 That's a fun over. That's the F over.

Speaker 8 Yeah. 51.5.

Speaker 6 Fine.

Speaker 1 I bet it 50 and a half, but fine, because we did advisors yesterday, but that's fine. I'll take that extra one.
It's definitely going to land on 51 now. 100%.

Speaker 2 I'm going to go with a shootout game. A couple of Juggernaut QBs over Packers, Bears, 41.
Nancy took that.

Speaker 1 We're bad at listening. Okay.

Speaker 1 I can't accuse you of being bad at listening without accusing myself. I can.

Speaker 4 Bad listener, Hank.

Speaker 1 I also bad listeners.

Speaker 8 It's the same group. I'll rebump it with you guys, but it's a shareable doc that I'm writing on.

Speaker 1 I will never open. I know you won't.
But just

Speaker 1 transparent.

Speaker 2 Over Jags, Colts, 46.5.

Speaker 1 Oh, Memes took that.

Speaker 4 Bad listener.

Speaker 4 Did Memes?

Speaker 1 We could have. I wish we had kept on going because we could have done that with every he wasn't listening to any of the picks.

Speaker 4 Who's in the hungry dog?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Patriots.
Do it.

Speaker 4 Cardinals. You piece of shit.

Speaker 1 Browns.

Speaker 1 Okay, well, I have a can't-lose parlay that's going to have the Commanders and the Ravens, and I haven't decided to do the third team.

Speaker 4 I love that. It doesn't matter.
But it's going to be great.

Speaker 4 I've got a PF tease

Speaker 4 we're teasing. We're teasing the Vikings down to minus one against the Bucs, and the Packers bears over 36 and a half.
It's plus 100. So

Speaker 4 even money.

Speaker 1 I like that.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Let's get to Fantasy Fuck Boys. You ready? Hit the music.
Let's go.

Speaker 7 My stardom.

Speaker 1 Oh, my bad. Yeah.

Speaker 7 My name is Mikey Riva Rigatoni.

Speaker 1 Mikey Rigatoni.

Speaker 4 Riva Riga Rigatoni.

Speaker 1 Riva Riva Riva Rigatoni.

Speaker 2 My stardom is diarrhea.

Speaker 4 Talk about diarrhea, but on the front lines, there's rumors it was a woman.

Speaker 2 After all that, I had diarrhea myself last night. Got like three hours of sleep because I kept waking up and pooping.
No,

Speaker 4 that's fucking weird. I had diarrhea last night, too.
Let's go. Oh, you guys.

Speaker 1 Cycles linked up. Diarrhea, bro.

Speaker 2 It's like yawning. You talk about yawning and then you're yawning.
You talk about diarrhea, then you're shitting your pants.

Speaker 4 My butthole sounds like this.

Speaker 4 Oh, my bad. That's Hank's yawn.

Speaker 1 ABP always be pooping.

Speaker 2 My sitem is Timothy Chamolay.

Speaker 1 Chamolay.

Speaker 4 you fucking weird.

Speaker 2 He's dating Kylie Jenna and his super fans are angry about it.

Speaker 7 Oh, Chamolay in that pipe.

Speaker 7 And my sleeper

Speaker 7 is Bill Pelichick's Emma.

Speaker 7 Think it's going to be getting a lot of use these next couple weeks now.

Speaker 1 He's a single man. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, maybe Bobby Kraft can take him down to Jupiter, Florida.

Speaker 7 You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 Boy's trip.

Speaker 7 Boy's trip. Let's go.
All right.

Speaker 4 Hey, what's up, you dickheads? This is Silvio Berlusconi.

Speaker 1 Oh, R.I.P.

Speaker 7 R.I.P.

Speaker 4 We're talking about Obama being gay. Everyone's gay.
I'm gay. Just my gay side is a lesbian.

Speaker 1 You know what I'm saying? I love it that much.

Speaker 4 I'm starting Nick Bosa. Nikki Bosa, starter.
He's got all the scarroll. He missed work for four weeks.

Speaker 4 Didn't show up at all. That's how we built the Esplanade.

Speaker 1 You know? Stand-up guy.

Speaker 4 That's how we did our business in New York.

Speaker 1 He's connected. He's connected.

Speaker 4 A

Speaker 4 no-show job.

Speaker 4 I'm sitting LeBron James. Sitting LeBron James took a little business trip to Saudi Arabia.
Don't know if you guys saw that. He met with Abdulaziz bin Saud Al Saad.
His friends with Rico.

Speaker 1 He's the

Speaker 4 sport. He's the interior decorator for Saudi Arabia, but his place looked like shit, you know?

Speaker 4 My sleeper,

Speaker 4 I'm not sleeping anymore because it's football season. Yeah.
No sleep, no sleep.

Speaker 1 No sleep. No sleep till Brooklyn.
All right, what's up, you fuckers? It's Bernino Tostino. What's up, BT? Yeah, BT in the house.

Speaker 4 My stardom, I actually confused the Bosa brothers, so I wrote down Joey Bosa, but he's not the one that got paid. Nikki Joey.
Joey, we wet the beak.

Speaker 1 Nikki wets the beak for Joey. So I fucked that up, but it's still preseason for me.
My sit-im, love doesn't always win. We were talking about Jordan Love.
He's not a winner.

Speaker 4 And how about Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas? How about them?

Speaker 1 I'll never believe in love again.

Speaker 4 I know exactly what happened with that story.

Speaker 1 Little finger.

Speaker 4 I'm going to add a comment to that because I know exactly what you're talking about.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Joe Bro.

Speaker 1 They broke up. Oh, God.
Ring camera got her. She's broke in.
She's a ring camera gotter. You always gotta be worried about who's wiretapping who.
That's unbelievable. There's a bug in here.

Speaker 4 It's Gumar came over. It's both.

Speaker 1 No, her Gumar. Her Guma.

Speaker 1 Her ring camera. Her Gumar.
Her ring camera. His house.
Yeah, she was getting wined and dyed in 69 while he was taking care of the kids back home.

Speaker 1 She's broke. Maro.

Speaker 1 My sleeper is no sleep, just like PFT, but you do it with snow blue coffee.

Speaker 1 New flavors,

Speaker 1 fucking spice, Apple Crisp. Apple Crisp got got PFT and Leroy on it as well.
Go buy it right now. We got new flavors.
Two folders.

Speaker 1 You get a bitches and one for the blow. Make a little cappuccino.

Speaker 1 Do go buy sell blue coffee, sellbluecoffee.com. We got two new flavors.
They're delicious.

Speaker 4 The apple crisp is awesome. I had it this morning.
Big cat special. Very good.
Big cat special.

Speaker 1 Two new flavors.

Speaker 4 Yeah, the big cat combo. It's coffee with a little bit of cream.

Speaker 1 Yeah, baby.

Speaker 1 All right, let's get to our interview. We have an awesome, awesome interview with Dan Patrick.
Really, really good time catching up with him and his new book out, PFT.

Speaker 1 What do we got before we get to Dan Patrick?

Speaker 12 The Pro Football Football Show is presented by the Chevy Silverado. Built for the hustle, ready for the game, Chevy Silverado is America's most dependable full-size truck.

Speaker 12 Whether you're grinding through the week or gearing up for kickoff, the Silverado is one ride that's always game ready. Just like football, it's about grit, grind, and getting it done.

Speaker 12 Head to Chevy.com to learn more and build your own Chevy Silverado.

Speaker 4 And now, here's Dan Patrick.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very special guest, one of our favorite guests. It's been a while, but it is Dan Patrick, and he has a new book out now.
You can go buy it right now.

Speaker 1 It's called The Occasionally Accurate Anals of Football.

Speaker 1 Now, let's start with that. Yeah,

Speaker 1 when you talk to Penguin, about this book, did they say, hey, let's not put the word anals in the book title? because it might not sell as well?

Speaker 5 Well, it could be marketed to a different audience, but I thought that maybe anals was a little tricky there, including for myself. But they went with it.

Speaker 5 I was overridden on this.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you have to take into account the kind of idiots that are going to be interviewing you about this book. And we might not be the best at pronouncing words.
Yes.

Speaker 1 I saw it and I was like, anals. Wow, this is crazy.

Speaker 1 All right. So we got a digital copy of the book, so we feel special because we saw it before everyone else got to read it.

Speaker 1 I'm going to say right off the bat, great job writing the book because there's pictures and there's pages that have like a paragraph.

Speaker 1 And I love books that you can just, you know, you can rip through pages. You're like, I'm really crushing this book right now.
There's a picture. There's a picture.
So great job with that.

Speaker 1 It's basically not, it's not a, you know, a children's book, but it's for dumb idiots like us who don't really read that often.

Speaker 5 Well, sometimes we don't get credit for reading books, and this helps you get credit that you've read a book. It doesn't take that, yeah, it's not that difficult, challenging to read this book.

Speaker 5 Pictures and sometimes some big words, some big lettering, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so what made you want to do this book? Because it is football.

Speaker 1 It's a love story to football.

Speaker 1 I mean, that right there is a seller. Like, I'm going to buy the book, even though I have the digital copy because I love you so so much.

Speaker 1 But what made you, were you like, hey, let's do this book?

Speaker 5 It was during the pandemic, and I was talking to Joel Cohen, who writes for The Simpsons, and he was talking about writing an episode and including me in The Simpsons.

Speaker 5 And then we just started talking when we were done. And then he started throwing out these topics.
And he goes, what do you think? Does this bother you? And then I revisited that with him.

Speaker 5 And I said, What do you think about just putting all this stuff down on paper and see if there's something there?

Speaker 5 Because we have all this free time and then he went back i went back we just threw some things together and he said you know i reached out to a couple other people that i work with uh andy richter who worked with conan he just had a bunch of people he said you know how about we just collaborate with a bunch of these topics and make it seem like this is the the true history like uh you know who wrote the uh bill simmons wrote the history of the nba I mean, this is nothing like that, but we can present it like we're giving you the history of the NFL, All these talk topics and just have wild takes on them, have fun with them, and hopefully, we don't get sued.

Speaker 5 I said, Okay, I'm in.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I read the blurbs page on it, and um, I'm a little bit offended. You asked Florio to give you a blurb, he blurbed, he blurbed the shit out of you, too.

Speaker 1 But it is a half-fiction book, so he's good at that.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he does love that.

Speaker 4 Um, why did we not get the invite to blurb you?

Speaker 5 Well, I was worried about you,

Speaker 1 that's fair, yeah. I mean, I was, yeah,

Speaker 5 Big cat, not worried.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.
I go off the rails.

Speaker 5 And if I'm asking you to, then I can't edit what you give me. And then I was worried about your collaboration.
To be honest, that was it. Because, you know, we had problems with the whole van show.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Remember? Yeah.

Speaker 1 We tried to light you on fire.

Speaker 5 Yes, exactly. And I thought, you know what? Time has passed, but let's...

Speaker 5 Let's not chance it right now.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's honestly a fair answer.

Speaker 1 Well, when we write the occasionally,

Speaker 1 accurate anals barstool van talk, we won't ask you to write anything. So a little tit for tat.

Speaker 5 No, he can if he wants to, because if you're writing the history of that,

Speaker 5 you're going to need my story, and you're going to need my help on that.

Speaker 4 It's a 10-page book.

Speaker 1 It actually will be the anals, and

Speaker 4 you're only allowed to talk about people's butts in it.

Speaker 4 What was the impression you had of our bum holes on a van?

Speaker 4 I'm looking at the cover of your book right now, and it's a pig skin. It's a football that's sliced into different parts, almost like a pig at a butcher shop.

Speaker 4 And the top, the top middle says, Tom Brady, worst of all time.

Speaker 4 What does that mean? That sounds spicy. That's going to sell some books.

Speaker 5 Well, that's in the book. I mean,

Speaker 5 you can't just read the blurbs.

Speaker 5 You got to read the book. Yeah.
It's a tease.

Speaker 5 You don't go, oh, gosh, I watched the trailer of the movie. Tell me how it ends.

Speaker 4 Okay. So do you think that Tom Brady, I'll put it to you this way.
Do you think Tom Brady is the best quarterback to ever play football?

Speaker 1 Oh, good question.

Speaker 4 He's the most decorated. I said best.

Speaker 1 Best. Who's the best decorator?

Speaker 5 Well, what is best?

Speaker 1 I think winning Super Bowl rings.

Speaker 5 Good point. Well, the best actor doesn't always win the most Academy Awards.

Speaker 1 But who has the most Academy Awards?

Speaker 7 Look that up. I'm going to look it up right now.

Speaker 1 We've gotten ourselves in a hole here. Okay,

Speaker 4 so if you're saying, I understand what you're saying, you're saying that Tom Brady, by his, if you look at the tangibles, arm strength, speed, elusiveness, accuracy, might not be the best quarterback of all time.

Speaker 4 In fact, you could probably make the argument Patrick Bahomes might be the best quarterback of all time.

Speaker 5 If I'm looking at talent, it feels like Aaron Rodgers is always credited with being the most talented person to play the position. Does that make him the best?

Speaker 5 Or is it Brady because he won the most Super Bowls? I still look at John Elway

Speaker 5 as that first quarterback who could beat you with his legs and his arm,

Speaker 5 single-handedly dragging that offense to Super Bowls that they never should have gone to. And then he got the blame for that.
Then they win to, and then he doesn't get credit for it.

Speaker 5 It's Terrell Davis in the offensive line. But Elway, to me, when you combine arm,

Speaker 5 size, athleticism, he was the first guy that I looked at modern era, and I went, that guy changed football.

Speaker 5 But Brady, I have no problem with people saying Brady's the greatest quarterback.

Speaker 5 I think it gets tricky sometimes with that. You know, is Montana not, or he won four, didn't lose any Super Bowls.

Speaker 1 Well, according to NBC during the broadcast that you were on in Notre Dame, he won five Super Bowls, so that's pretty impressive.

Speaker 5 Well, he did tell me that he gave his four kids each one of his Super Bowls.

Speaker 5 So he only has four kids, so that's where I knew that he didn't win five Super Bowls because he doesn't have five kids.

Speaker 1 Wait, are we passing over Dan Marino? I mean, Dan Mariner.

Speaker 1 You can make the cases like watching old Dan Marino clips and what he did, his arm talent is just out of this world.

Speaker 5 Marino changed the game.

Speaker 5 Like when you say guys change, you know, Steph Curry changed the NBA.

Speaker 5 Dan Marino changed the game because back then, who was doing five wide, no running backs, and all they're doing is throwing passes, quick releases, all of those things. And And Marino in today's game,

Speaker 5 he'd

Speaker 5 approach 6,000 yards probably. He'd throw for 50 touchdowns because that wasn't the difficulty for him.
He was doing that before.

Speaker 5 And he's convincing Don Shula, a defensive-minded head coach, let me throw the ball as much as I want.

Speaker 1 I like this. This

Speaker 1 talking ball. What's the spiciest take?

Speaker 1 Can you give us a tease of the spiciest take or another take that you have in this book that people can buy it and be like, oh, I'm going going to buy it because I want to get to this point and be like, oh, I heard that on part of my take.

Speaker 5 So we

Speaker 5 cover the best game ever, worst game ever, most penalized game, the sneakers game, Fog Bowl, the catch, the drive, the wizenator.

Speaker 5 Nice.

Speaker 5 There's no topic that we shy away from. Let's put it that way.
We fix penalties.

Speaker 5 Let's see. Wayne Gretzky is involved in this.

Speaker 5 What you bring to a tailgate. We revisit the Immaculate Reception, the Butt Fumble.
We talk about how bad Pat the Patriot was, the media's impact.

Speaker 5 I had people who assess my talent as a broadcaster, pro and con.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 So we pretty much cover everything there.

Speaker 1 I like it. I like that.
I like it.

Speaker 4 And to your point about Dan Marino, as great of a player as he is, even better interview.

Speaker 4 Just a rock-solid guy to talk to. I don't know if you're familiar with this, Dan, but

Speaker 4 we had Dan Marino on the show at the Super Bowl right after you had him on.

Speaker 4 I think he left your set, came to the back of our van where we were doing the interview, and he looked at us like, who are these assholes that I'm about to talk to? And

Speaker 4 I blame you for not softening him up enough for us because he was not happy to be stuck between me and Big Cat in the back of a van.

Speaker 5 But if you would have said, hey, could you kind of

Speaker 5 ease this Dan into us, say some nice things about it, I would have done that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but it was like

Speaker 1 he went to your show and he had like a great New York strip. And then he came to our show and we gave him like a dollar cheeseburger and maybe like a crack pipe.

Speaker 1 And he was like, How did I end up here? What, what, what life decision did I make that got me to this point? Um, yeah, it didn't go great, but that's okay.

Speaker 1 Interviews, what's what's your worst interview of all time besides Qualcomm?

Speaker 5 Oh,

Speaker 5 yeah, let me see.

Speaker 1 Qualcomm honey legendary, yeah,

Speaker 5 uh, Matt Harvey. Yeah,

Speaker 5 he

Speaker 5 had no idea how to do an interview, and he's in New York and he's got a product to promote Qualcomm. And he comes on and he, I guess, had just had surgery or needed surgery or something.

Speaker 5 And I said, hey, you know, can we talk about that? And he goes, no, no, I'm just here to talk about Qualcomm.

Speaker 5 And I said, you got to be fucking kidding me. Don't you understand? This is quid pro quo.
Like, give me something and then I'll let you talk about Qualcomm. And so that, that ended quickly.

Speaker 5 And then I guess, you know, they kind of got together and said, you need to go back on there. So the next day he came on.
And I think he sort of figured out what he was supposed to do.

Speaker 5 Tanya Harding didn't go well.

Speaker 5 Whitey Herzog did not go well.

Speaker 5 But sometimes that's good when they don't go well.

Speaker 5 It's still entertaining, which it sometimes it hurts, but you know it's content.

Speaker 5 But yeah, Tanya Harding and Whitey Herzog were bad.

Speaker 4 There was a great interview I saw. It wasn't on your show, but it's somebody else that was interviewing Aaron Donald, and all he wanted to talk about was bath salts.

Speaker 4 He wanted to talk about Epsom salts the entire time, and he just kept tying everything back. He's like, I'm not here to talk about the NFL or my career.
I want to talk to you guys about bath salts.

Speaker 4 And it got so bad that it actually was a great interview. He is, if I was sponsoring an athlete, I would want to sponsor Aaron Donald, and he would only talk about me.

Speaker 5 But sometimes these guys don't understand. We'll get to your plug.
Right.

Speaker 5 But they, Magic Johnson was with us, I don't know, six weeks ago and and i i was talking about you know steph curry as a point guard and you know i thought we were chopping it up and then he's he came back around to why he was on there

Speaker 5 and therefore i couldn't get him to just have a conversation let you get your plug in conversation let you get your plug in say goodbye to magic johnson and uh you know i i it got tripped up and so we we could never really land on the same page here he wanted to promote and i wanted to interview So other side of that coin, who's the best interview that you've ever done?

Speaker 5 Oh, I don't know if I have somebody that would stand out.

Speaker 5 There have been a lot of them to choose from, but I've been doing it a long time. So I think anybody who's honest, because your audience wants to know, why are you having this person on?

Speaker 5 And when you get that person on and you say, hey, you're going to love this guy.

Speaker 5 then that's what that makes it rewarding. But there are times when you oversell or you undersell.

Speaker 5 But anybody who's going to tell you the truth or give you some really good stories, that's really what I'm trying to subscribe to every time I have somebody on.

Speaker 4 That's a smart answer, too, because we sat down a couple weeks ago and we did a Mount Rushmore of our favorite recurring guest that we've had on our show.

Speaker 4 That was a bad idea to name names because then you leave out like 200 people that get pissed off at you that never want to come back on your show again. So you're pro.
You didn't fall for that trap.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Thanks. Smart man.

Speaker 1 You also, we should have said to start, congratulations on the weirdest contract extension of all time. Yes.
Um, yeah, you completely,

Speaker 1 for people who don't know, Dan came on the show one day. He was like, I'm working four more years.
And everyone was like, Everyone, you know, all his guys in the room are like, shit, four more years.

Speaker 1 All right. Like, he's retiring soon.
And then the next day he's like, I forgot to say I just signed an extension for four years.

Speaker 1 So you, I mean, was everyone freaking out? Like, you, you know, you got a whole crew.

Speaker 5 No, they were okay. It was everybody else's reaction that I was announcing my retirement

Speaker 5 that I was announcing that in four years

Speaker 5 and so people are are texting or calling my wife saying is Dan retiring and she said no in four years but I screwed up the order instead of saying hey signed a contract extension and then I'm going to retire when that contract is over

Speaker 5 But it turned out, I mean, I got four years of a send-off. So I I should get some really, really fucking nice gifts, I'm guessing.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Coach K is like, I didn't know you could do four years.

Speaker 9 What the fuck?

Speaker 5 You can't, it's not going to sneak up on you when I retire. So you can't say, wow, I didn't see that one coming.

Speaker 1 You're on the Olympic cycle. This is crazy.

Speaker 1 Wait, so

Speaker 1 are you actually going to retire, though? Because I'm very curious about this. We, you know, we're, we're young.

Speaker 1 But I do think, like, hey, is there a time when you can retire from this if you're truly addicted to what we do? And I am addicted to what we do. I enjoy it so much.

Speaker 1 Do you actually think you'll be able to turn it off? Like, not go to the Super Bowl, not go to the Final Four, do these big events that you've done for so many years?

Speaker 1 I mean, there's going to be a point where you're like, man, why did I, I still got some gas left in the tank here?

Speaker 5 Well, there'll be other things that I do. I have a broadcasting school.
Sandler will keep putting me in movies.

Speaker 5 And there'll be other things along the way. But

Speaker 5 I mean, it's a grind every day, three hours a day. It's live.
And there are times, you know, like July.

Speaker 1 God, July is tough.

Speaker 5 Yeah. Like, what are you talking about in July? There are other, you know, moments, months that you go, this is easy, but it's a young man's game.

Speaker 5 And I want to make sure I go out on what I would consider going out. as myself, going out in style, not like just hanging on, like, oh my God, look at that guy.
Listen to him. Man, I feel bad for him.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 And so I just, I didn't want that to happen. But

Speaker 1 the counterpoint, late Francesa was hilarious.

Speaker 1 No, but I don't want you to laugh at me.

Speaker 5 I want you to laugh with me.

Speaker 1 Okay, okay.

Speaker 5 There's a difference. There's a difference in that.
I just don't want to be like, come here and listen to that. That is sad right there.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Falling asleep.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, that would be, that would be entertaining in a different way. But yeah, I respect it.

Speaker 4 One of the best all-time clips in sports radio is Francesa reading Jacob DeGrom's run support that he got for an entire year and just saying two,

Speaker 4 one,

Speaker 1 two, like bingo, three.

Speaker 4 He just goes on for like a minute and a half saying numbers. That's great.
I mean, people listen to it.

Speaker 5 Oh, but I, my favorite is still

Speaker 5 Al Alberkirky. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yes. Fake name.

Speaker 5 When somebody called up, and then Mike said, there's nobody named Al Albuquerque. And then

Speaker 5 I think later he goes, oh, you mean Albert Albuquerque?

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 5 I don't want that to happen.

Speaker 4 So I'm always interested to know from guys that do solo radio. I mean, obviously you have the Danetts, so they provide a lot of content for you as well.

Speaker 4 But at the crux of it, your show is one man talking into a microphone for three hours. And you came from doing Sports Center where things, you know, for the most part, they're scripted.

Speaker 4 There was some ad-libbing, and obviously you like to have a lot of fun with that. But then you transition to just sitting behind a mic, and it's constant Dan Patrick opinions for three hours non-stop.

Speaker 4 Was that, did you sit down the first day, and after you know, 30 minutes, you're like, What the fuck have I gotten myself into?

Speaker 5 Well, I think people who do radio or want to do radio go, oh, that's not difficult. All you do is talk.
And then those people usually get 20 minutes in and they go,

Speaker 5 Now what do I talk about? What else can we talk about? I think you have to be strategic in who you have on, what are your topics, and then it gets into a rhythm, gets into a flow.

Speaker 5 But when we were on Sports Center, probably

Speaker 5 11 o'clock Sports Center, I'm going to guess 60% was ad-lib because you're ad-libbing all the highlights.

Speaker 5 You know, stuff that's on camera on Prompter, you know, obviously that's scripted. But I always loved radio.
I thought that was the purest form where you can communicate.

Speaker 5 You could say something to somebody. They have to visualize something when they're listening to your voice.
If I mention somebody's name, then you think of them. You let me into your car.

Speaker 5 Like it's personal. It's intimate.
your voice, what it means to people. And I wasn't big into TV because it was a lot for very little.

Speaker 5 You'd spend eight hours writing a show where you'd go on and you'd be on for an hour. And you could have a great show and then somebody say, you know, how could you wear that tie?

Speaker 5 Or your hair looked terrible, like just stuff where you go, really? That's what it comes down to. But radio is different.
It's just your voice and how it resonates with people.

Speaker 1 It's true. It's a good point.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's why even the one show we did on ESPN, I think we both realized quickly, like, this is different and not as fun as doing a podcast because a podcast is similar to radio where we don't have a time limit.

Speaker 1 We can just talk for, you know, if we find something funny and we just go down a rabbit hole, those are the best moments.

Speaker 1 And being able to have that free form where you can really like, you know, dive into something, I think the audience loves.

Speaker 5 Well, that's what changed when I left ESPN because I thought it was kind of formulaic that I was trying to be an ESPN radio host instead of just being myself.

Speaker 5 And when I left and we were doing the first three years, we did the show in my attic. And I just said, we're going to talk about whatever we want to talk about.

Speaker 5 And not, well, you got to check the box, check the box, check the box. And then have this analyst on for the mothership.
It was, I don't care what it is.

Speaker 5 Because if we're into it, your audience will be into it. If you have fun with it, and that's what, like your audience, loyal and they listen to you.

Speaker 5 So they'll invest in what you're talking about because you're interested. And I said to the Danettes, I said, I just want to have fun.

Speaker 5 You know, I don't care if it's about movies or music or something embarrassing or you have Joe Montana on.

Speaker 5 We're going to have fun every single day. And that to me is contagious.
Nobody wants to listen to somebody bummed out in the morning or yelling and screaming in the morning. It's like, have fun.

Speaker 5 And that's the approach that we've had for going on now 17 years.

Speaker 1 It's a very good point. So you mentioned the Danettes.
Do you miss McLovin or never even think about him?

Speaker 5 I don't think about him unless he's brought up.

Speaker 1 That's going to kill him.

Speaker 1 I love Pearl.

Speaker 1 I've become very good friends with him, but that's going to hurt him.

Speaker 5 Well, I would tell him to his face that I don't miss him, but I don't want to miss him because I had to do a show.

Speaker 5 And Marvin took over for McLovin and gave us a whole different kind of feel to the show. And, but

Speaker 5 McLovin bought into being sort of a class clown for us. And here's an Ivy League educated guy.
And I said, look, you got to laugh at yourself. You got to have fun.
And that's hard to do because.

Speaker 5 you know, everybody has pride and an ego. And I'm asking you, if I'm going to make fun of myself and look silly or sound sound silly, you need to.

Speaker 5 If I'm going to make you wear an Alabama game jersey and nothing on underneath walking around the streets of New York, then you have to be willing to do that.

Speaker 5 Or pie to the face or whatever it might, or flinch ball, like stupid things, but let's have fun with it. And he did that for the longest time.

Speaker 5 And then I think he wanted to be a radio host, or you know, he wanted to be a real journalist again. And I wasn't going to allow him to continue to do that.

Speaker 1 He is the best, though.

Speaker 1 Since we're talking about your career, what year was your best hair year?

Speaker 5 I'm going to say early to mid-90s.

Speaker 1 I thought I was crushing it. Yeah, that was.
Because you do have phenomenal hair.

Speaker 1 And I just always wonder if someone who has such great hair, do they look back and they're like, man, at this point, I was throwing 99 on the black. Like, that was it.
That was my hair.

Speaker 5 It's like Pam Anderson running on the beach in in baywatch like she can look back and go god i had it though i had it all it's sort of me running on the beach in baywatch with my hair yeah although pft has made fun of me like i think you showed me a picture go are you proud of that and then my hair looked really bad i forget where we were you go are you proud of that yeah

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 4 no you've had great hair but you've also had bad hair days And you could tell which one it was.

Speaker 4 Like, I always had the hypothesis when I was watching, because I used to, I used to tune into your show all the time as a kid. It was like religious for me.

Speaker 4 Every morning I would watch Sports Center, then I would go to school. I'd be five minutes late for class because I had to finish watching Sports Center, then leave to go to elementary school.

Speaker 4 And I knew if Dan's having a good hair day, he's going to be bringing the fire with the voiceovers.

Speaker 4 If it's a bad hair day, it's like Free Willie or like an orca with the dorsal fin that's like drooped over. He's not going to have the confidence today.

Speaker 4 It's like look good, feel good, feel good, play good.

Speaker 5 Yeah,

Speaker 5 you could be right. There could be a correlation between that.
Look good, feel good, play good.

Speaker 5 Sometimes I gave you angry highlights, too, because I knew my hair wasn't great, and therefore it made me be a little more critical of a player or a team.

Speaker 5 So it could have consciously or subconsciously affected my delivery on Sports Center.

Speaker 4 Would players ever, would they get upset with you for delivering a bad highlight?

Speaker 5 Yes.

Speaker 5 If you said something, if you said something,

Speaker 5 and sometimes it was they didn't hear it, but somebody else did.

Speaker 5 And then by the time it got to them, they're like Rob Deere, who played for the Detroit Tigers, all he did was hit home runs and strike out.

Speaker 5 And I remember having a highlight where I said, here's Rob Deere. All he does is hit home runs and strike out.

Speaker 5 And that's the whiff.

Speaker 5 Vote for three.

Speaker 5 So I'm out at a ballpark, which I always believe, go out. And just in case somebody wants to say something to you, they can.

Speaker 5 And he came up to me, goes, why do you say all I do is strike out or hit home runs? I go, Rod, that's all you do. He goes, That's true, but you don't have to say that.

Speaker 1 And I go,

Speaker 5 You hit home runs and you strike out. You strike out a whole lot more than you hit home runs.

Speaker 5 But I've, you have run-ins with people, you know, the whole Alex Rodriguez criticizing Derek Jeter's contract when he was on my show.

Speaker 5 And then he claimed that it

Speaker 5 that we weren't really on the air, that he thought he was off off the air with me, but he was criticizing Derek Cheeter.

Speaker 5 Now, I don't even know that he's mad at me. We do the interview, and then this is a couple years later, and we're in Dallas.

Speaker 5 And I said to my guys, I said, you know, we should reach out, see if A-Rod wants to join us on the show. Call the PR guy, said, Oh, Alex loves you.
I know that. Yeah, sure.
And he calls back.

Speaker 5 He says, Alex has a problem with you. And I go, Okay, I'll just come over to the locker room.

Speaker 5 I get word that he's really got a problem with me because of this Derek Jeter thing. I didn't even know it.

Speaker 5 I go over, I go in the locker room and you got, you know, steroid row there with Kinseco and some of the other players, Raphael Palmer. They're on the back of a couch and they're looking as I walk in.

Speaker 5 A-Rod is at his locker with a guy. I think his name is Mike Lamb.
And he's just talking to him and makes me wait probably 15 minutes. I'm just standing there.

Speaker 5 And then I thought he was going to punch me because he started yelling at me. And I said, Alex, it was on the record.
You know, it was on the record. And I had Rob Dibble with me at the time.

Speaker 5 I said, look, I said to Dibs, if he hits me,

Speaker 5 he goes, I got your back. I'll take him out.
So I got all of the guys from the Rangers and they're waiting for, they think something's going to happen here. But that

Speaker 5 got close to go time, I think, for Alex.

Speaker 1 Damn. Was there any other time that an athlete got mad at you? Because it is true.
It's weird. We always, we want

Speaker 1 the guests to be happy and to feel good about the interview, but sometimes it just doesn't work out that way. And it's like, well, you knew what you were getting into when you came on the show.

Speaker 5 But I don't do gotcha.

Speaker 5 I try to be as professional.

Speaker 5 And if I do a gotcha, it's accidental. I'm not out there to get Alex Rodriguez.

Speaker 5 But as soon as he calls in, I said, hey, we're recording and he goes can you believe what they're going to pay you know derek

Speaker 5 and i go why yeah and he goes he doesn't do anything better than me like he just started going on and on and on

Speaker 5 and

Speaker 5 we told him that we were recording yeah and it it uh lawrence taylor threatened me one time oh when he that's bad yeah

Speaker 5 yeah bad um he had been suspended for cocaine news and he read a statement inside the Giants' headquarters there, training camp headquarters. So all the print guys got

Speaker 5 what LT was saying.

Speaker 5 And I was outside, and I had my cameraman. So he comes out, he has these dark sunglasses on.
He walks out and I said, Lawrence, Dan Patrick from CNN,

Speaker 5 can you read that statement on camera for me? And he says no.

Speaker 5 So I keep moving down the road with him, walking towards his dark blue Porsche. And then I go, LT, can you just read that on camera? I won't ask any questions.
Read the statement on camera.

Speaker 5 Why don't you learn the whole story? I said,

Speaker 5 I know the story. I called your agent.
I spoke to your agent. No, you didn't.
I said, yes, I did. Now I turned to my cameraman.
I still remember his name, Ricky Shine.

Speaker 5 I said, Ricky, if he hits me, keep rolling.

Speaker 5 And then

Speaker 5 he said, he goes a little bit further, walk into his car. And I said, LT, he said, don't you ask me one more time.

Speaker 5 And I could see the whites of his eyes through these sunglasses that were as dark as PFTs.

Speaker 5 And I go, holy shit, I'm in trouble.

Speaker 1 So he

Speaker 5 turns and then gives me this look, side-eye, and I go, oh, my God, now I know what it's like to be Joe Theisman. And he gets into his Porsche, peels off.
Peter King is working for New York Newsday.

Speaker 5 He runs out and he goes, what happened? What happened? And I told him the story and he goes, okay, that's awesome.

Speaker 5 And then I think Peter wrote about it, didn't get the interview, but I truly thought LT was going to, he was going to take me out that day.

Speaker 4 Yeah, there was a time we interviewed LT and Hank had to tell him, like, hey, you have to hold the microphone closer to your mouth when you talk.

Speaker 4 And LT gave that same look to Hank, like, I will kill you, Hank.

Speaker 4 And hank was like shut it up fair enough yeah i love yeah he was original shut the fuck up hank guy yeah i am curious to know though when you're doing an interview and you feel like your guest is getting into gotcha territory on their own not that you're setting them up but you can feel they're saying something inflammatory something that they'll probably regret saying after the interview is over do you try to rescue them do you try to allow them like follow up and try to add a little bit of nuance to what they say are you as far as you're concerned it's like you said it let's let's just, let's keep this going.

Speaker 5 Well, I still have to do my job. And, and, and it's a, it's a fair question to ask, but my job is still content and the people are listening or tuning in.

Speaker 5 But there are times when you, we had Tracy Morgan on promoting a new special when we were in Ireland. And

Speaker 5 Will Farrell was there and they're friends, and Tracy was just talking about, you know, his house and, you know, his daughter wants to be a marine biologist.

Speaker 5 And I got a pool and it's got sharks in it. And then he was like, do you want to know what I feed my sharks? Do you want to know what I feed my sharks? I'm going to

Speaker 5 Puerto Ricans. And I go, no, you can't say that.
He goes, yeah, they gave me, yeah, they gave me the joke. And I'm going.

Speaker 1 So.

Speaker 5 He just said it in a way. And then I went, oh my God, am I going to get crushed for letting him say that? But I tried to get him to back it, but he's a comedian, so

Speaker 5 it was out there, it was done, and sometimes there's a point of no return where you go, all right, next topic, yeah, and then move on.

Speaker 1 Comedians do get a different set of rules, yeah. We we try not to do gotcha as well on this show just because we want people to have fun.

Speaker 1 We also play this fun game called uh, we read a headline, uh, if you want to play that with us. Uh, all right, so I'm just gonna read a headline, then you comment.

Speaker 5 Uh, by the way, by the way, I don't know if you saw this, I don't know if it uh, the the clip went viral, as the kids like to say, but Will Farrell had his prosthetic testicles from Step Brothers that he hits on John C.

Speaker 5 Riley's drum kit.

Speaker 5 He brought those to Dublin and he had them in a box. $10,000 it took to make these prosthetic testicles and lifelike.
So I pull it out of the box. and I show it on the air.

Speaker 5 And the fact that Will traveled to Dublin with in his bag his bag in his bag and i thought that is now i didn't know if i could show those on the air

Speaker 5 but i thought you know i'm going to take a chance just in case and i'd rather beg for a forgiveness there than ask for permission but i did not realize like there those were lifelike testicles that he had that he has a box in it that just says testicles from stepbrother.

Speaker 1 Wait, did you get yelled at?

Speaker 5 No one said anything yet. Okay.
No one, but I don't know if you, I don't know what you can show when, I mean, the body is a beautiful thing, so I just thought.

Speaker 1 Balls, yeah, balls are not beautiful.

Speaker 4 The male body is hideous. It really is.
Like, God bless us.

Speaker 1 Balls are gross when you think about it.

Speaker 4 I can't believe women allow us to climb on top of them.

Speaker 5 It is bad. Like, when you think about it,

Speaker 1 it's gross.

Speaker 5 But don't women always say, don't send me, you know, a dick pic? I mean, they don't say it to me, but I'm just

Speaker 5 not want to see that.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Well, there's a, there's a, a great group of guys on the internet who I'd love to interview who just send unsolicited dick pics to like porn stars, being like, this is going to work.

Speaker 1 She'll see my cock and be like, yeah, it's on. Let's go.
I want to date you.

Speaker 4 I know what to do with that.

Speaker 1 I know where that goes.

Speaker 5 But you could get a true assessment, though, of yourself if you're going to ask a porn star. Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't want to get raided there. That's definitely.

Speaker 1 They just thumbs down it and just be like, next. All right, so

Speaker 1 we read a headline, and you comment on it. The headline is, Dan Patrick unloads on Joe Biden for not caring about U.S.
citizens.

Speaker 1 What do I do? Well, I mean, why'd you say that?

Speaker 5 Oh,

Speaker 5 is that the Lieutenant Governor

Speaker 1 Texas citizen? Dan Patrick unloads on Joe Biden for not caring about U.S. citizens.
The game is very simple. We read a headline.

Speaker 5 I know. But I get blamed for a lot of the things that this guy in Texas says.

Speaker 5 Somebody said, what do you have against the elderly? A friend of mine, I went to dinner and he stopped my, and he goes, what do you have against the elderly? And I go, what are you talking about?

Speaker 5 He goes, no, this was during the pandemic that I think this Dan Patrick in Texas said, you know what, old people die. And basically, if they die, so what?

Speaker 5 And then I got blamed for that for some of the things that he said.

Speaker 5 We don't align politically. And so

Speaker 5 he's had some things to say that I've had to apologize for.

Speaker 1 You should start just publicly walking back things that he says, just reverse headlining them. It's like, Dan Patrick takes back everything he says.

Speaker 4 I shouldn't have said that.

Speaker 1 Just put him in a box. I like it.

Speaker 5 Yeah, what do you have against the elderly?

Speaker 1 Nothing.

Speaker 5 You said they die. I did not.
That is a fact,

Speaker 1 that's a fact.

Speaker 4 Dan, do elderly people die?

Speaker 5 They do. But I do care when they die.
That's the difference.

Speaker 5 He was basically saying, hey,

Speaker 5 out with the old, in with the new. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 It's probably a little bit easier now that you don't show up as like the first verified check mark on Twitter when you search for a Dan Patrick on Twitter. Good.

Speaker 4 Because of the blue check marks going everywhere now.

Speaker 4 But I would imagine that four or five years ago, every time he would say something, people would just flock to your page and be like, what's going on here?

Speaker 5 Kat, how's being a father?

Speaker 1 It's the best.

Speaker 1 I'm in the shit, though. I got a four-year-old, two-year-old, and three-month-old.

Speaker 1 So it's chaos at all times. Yeah.

Speaker 5 And we had four under seven.

Speaker 1 That's crazy. That's insane.
I don't.

Speaker 5 I was working second shift at ESPN at the time.

Speaker 5 Four under seven.

Speaker 1 Four is insane. Four, I mean, three feels insane.

Speaker 1 Four, I feel like you become, you know, like when someone gets like a couple cats and they're just a cat person, when you get to four or five kids, you're just a kid person. Like, that's all you do.

Speaker 5 Well, how many cats do you become a cat person?

Speaker 6 Three. I think it's three.

Speaker 1 It's three.

Speaker 4 You can have two cats because you get the first cat, kind of weird. Then you get the second cat because your cat needs a friend.
And then you get a third cat and all bets are off.

Speaker 1 There also is an asterisk. You can be a cat person if you have two cats and the majority of your furniture is you bought for your cats.

Speaker 1 You know those people where you walk in and there's like the pole and everything. Like a walkway that goes across the living room.
Yeah, Keith Hernandez is a cat person. Yeah.

Speaker 5 I know somebody in the family tree. They at last count had 22 cats.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 4 That's disturbing. That's crazy.

Speaker 1 All right. So, wait, you asked me about my kids.
I want to ask you a real question about balancing, you know, being a dad and doing your job.

Speaker 1 Were there moments that you look back and you're like, man, maybe I shouldn't have worked so hard? Because I struggle with that.

Speaker 5 Oh, absolutely. I was selfish.

Speaker 5 absolutely yeah um i thought i had to be because espn back then was really really competitive you i mean you had berman bob lee you had chris myers chris valor mike charico oberman myself craig kilbourne

Speaker 5 they you know we're all in there and at the time everybody was doing sports center it was really really competitive And I thought, God,

Speaker 5 I can never turn. I'd, you know, at some point we were doing six days a week of Sports Center

Speaker 5 and you're in there at three in the afternoon and then you're out at midnight. So I would, the kids would be up and out of the house.
I'd wake up. I'd go to work.
I'd come home. They'd be in bed.

Speaker 5 So for like five days, I didn't see them.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 5 So I didn't raise them. My wife did.
But there were times when you're like,

Speaker 5 you know,

Speaker 5 you're trying to. cram everything together in one afternoon where you're like, I'm going to make up for being the shittiest dad and I'm going to do it in like three hours.

Speaker 5 What do you want to do, kids? And they're like, nothing.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You know,

Speaker 1 we don't need to. It's tough.
I, I, I've, I've found a good balance in that the fact that, like, when I'm home, I'm home. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Like, and it's like stuff like Sundays we work from noon till till 2 a.m.

Speaker 1 But Sunday mornings, like, you know, until I have to leave for work, it's like, let's do stuff. Let's be together and do that stuff.

Speaker 1 But yeah, it's, I, I definitely like think about it a lot being like, man, am I making a mistake? But how many daughters do you have? One daughter, okay, she's my favorite.

Speaker 5 Yes, yes, there's nothing wrong with having a favorite, yeah.

Speaker 1 No, I don't buy it when people say they don't have a favorite, it's like that's just not. And now, the rankings, it's like the AP poll, it goes up and down week to week.

Speaker 1 Like, it's you know, we get the voting going in, it depends on how everyone's been doing, so it definitely changes. But, yes, there's always a favorite at a certain point.

Speaker 5 But your daughter, it's it's these, these are these are tricky relationships. Make sure you do things that are just for her sometimes.
You'll do stuff with the boys.

Speaker 5 But I found that being a really good listener

Speaker 5 opens that pathway. I have three daughters and we're in constant contact, texting, whatever it is.
And then my oldest is a boy.

Speaker 5 Your daughter is tricky because I promise you this, in 10 years from now, I'll run into you and you'll go, I'll be damned, man. My daughter remembers this and this and this.

Speaker 5 And not that your boys won't, but your daughter is going to see you with your wife and remember how you are with her.

Speaker 5 If you're in the kitchen, you're holding her hand, you're dancing with her, you're laughing with her, you're whatever it is. Girls, they pick up and they do not forget.

Speaker 5 So always remember they're watching. and they're listening for good or bad.

Speaker 1 All right. So she's going to be a degenerate horse petter.

Speaker 1 We got that.

Speaker 1 That's checked that one off.

Speaker 1 No, it's good advice. It's good advice.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's basically boys are dumb, which they are. We're boys.
We're dumb.

Speaker 5 They are. Have you watched boys on a playground? Yeah.

Speaker 5 They just do stupid shit. They just bang each other and run around and being goofy.
Meanwhile, girls are calculated.

Speaker 5 They already got clicks and they're backstabbing and there's stuff going on.

Speaker 4 That's true. It's very simple.
You just play till you get hurt. Yeah.
And then you're like, I can't play anymore.

Speaker 1 Oh, I was at the park the other day, and there was a kid just with a huge wiffle ball bat just walking around, just smashing kids in the face in the back. And I was like, who is this kid?

Speaker 1 I was like, but guess what? They're all laughing. Who cares? It's just boys, boys being boys to the utmost.

Speaker 5 Are you done with three?

Speaker 1 Yes. Yes.

Speaker 1 Three is it. Three is it.
Three is too many.

Speaker 5 No, it's not.

Speaker 1 My youngest. I have another one now.
My youngest is going to hear me say that so many times. Like, what the hell do you mean when you said three is too many? Like, fuck.

Speaker 5 Just say, daddy was having fun. It's called content.
Now, shut up.

Speaker 1 It was just a bit. It was just a bit.
It was all just a bit.

Speaker 4 If you have four, I have to assume that you're just, you're okay with imperfection at all times. Nothing is going to be going fully according to plan.

Speaker 4 It's just like, as long as the important stuff gets checked off, then we're good.

Speaker 5 Yes. Take a head count.
At the end of the day, if it comes up four, then you've done your job.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But

Speaker 5 you can't, you can't.

Speaker 5 That's the fascinating part of it, though, because you do not like you go into every day unscripted. Oh, yeah, it's and they write the script, yeah.

Speaker 5 And then it's up to you to, if you change the script, uh, edit the script or just let it play out. And sometimes it's fiction, sometimes it's non-fiction, but it's awesome.

Speaker 1 Yeah, every day is definitely an adventure.

Speaker 4 So, who's your favorite Danette?

Speaker 4 Oh,

Speaker 1 it's got to be Paulie.

Speaker 5 I'm going to say

Speaker 5 Marvin.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 Yeah. Well, he's right here.
He's

Speaker 1 literally right there. Yeah.

Speaker 5 If he wasn't here, I'd say Seton.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Seton's kind of the wild card.
Yeah, he's kind of the wild card, the guy that, you know, might not give you, because Paulie does, you know, he's like a Labrador. He'll give you the love.

Speaker 5 Seton will give me shit. Seton will keep me honest.

Speaker 5 Seton will keep me company at the bar.

Speaker 5 Yeah,

Speaker 5 I'd probably say him.

Speaker 1 Also, Pauly will just try to get you to go to Vermont like every weekend. Yeah, we're Rhode Island.

Speaker 1 We're grilling again this weekend. I don't know how many times Paul texts me being like, plot of land in Vermont.
It's like, dude, I'm not moving to Vermont.

Speaker 4 It does look awesome in the summertime.

Speaker 1 Oh, he has the best setup. He has the best setup.

Speaker 5 I will say, Fritzy is one of the most fascinating people who do this. There's nobody like Todd Fritz in doing this.
He books our guests, but he's a fascinating person.

Speaker 5 Some good and some bad, but there is nobody like him. You know, there's a Kramer from Seinfeld feel to him.
He just truly is a unique character.

Speaker 5 You can't make it up.

Speaker 5 He wants to be a stand-up comedian, but he doesn't want you to help him be a stand.

Speaker 5 I said, I'll get Sandler and Spade to write some stuff for you. And he'd rather bomb with his own stuff

Speaker 4 than

Speaker 5 take from Sandler and Dave Spade and be successful.

Speaker 4 Hopefully, it's not too much like Kramer with his stand-up material. Yeah, that's true.
A bad look for your show.

Speaker 1 No, not.

Speaker 5 Yeah,

Speaker 5 he doesn't go blue when he's up there.

Speaker 1 I love when you and Fritzie get butt heads. That's some of my favorite moments from your show because it is.

Speaker 1 He's very defiant and it's very fun to watch.

Speaker 5 It can be.

Speaker 5 My wife says, you don't hear yourself. And I said, oh, I do.
I do.

Speaker 5 But I can look back and kind of cringe because

Speaker 5 I get angry sometimes with him. I told him, I said, look, I love you, but I don't always like you.

Speaker 1 That's

Speaker 1 a good saying.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 5 And he knows that.

Speaker 5 But he is truly a unique, unique character. Every single day, it's something different.

Speaker 5 Fascinating.

Speaker 4 So I want to plug your book again. You should check it out.
The occasionally accurate anals of football.

Speaker 5 Anals.

Speaker 4 You can find it everywhere, literally everywhere. This book is going to be everywhere you look.
You had Adam Sandler write the forward for it.

Speaker 4 Did he actually write it?

Speaker 4 Did you send him an email? Did he write back to you or did he have his friend write it for you?

Speaker 5 No, he said, I asked him in person and I said,

Speaker 5 will you write the forward? He said, well,

Speaker 5 what do I write? I said, whatever you feel. And he said, you know, I'm a Jets fan.
I said, write about the Jets. And he did.
It's all about the Jets and how he grew up hating Tom Brady.

Speaker 5 And so he just gave you what his thought. I said, it doesn't have to be about anything.
Just write it. I don't care.
And he said, okay. He goes, I don't know what a forward is, but I'll write it.

Speaker 5 And so

Speaker 1 happy to do it.

Speaker 4 He seems like just a great dude. I read a story about him.
This was when Uncut Jims was coming out.

Speaker 1 And they did a good Jimmy show.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes.

Speaker 4 And he was awesome when he was on the show. Like, I felt like I was his best friend after 45 45 minutes with him.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 4 when that movie came out, there was an article somebody wrote about him that was just interviewing all of his friends, like everybody that's known the guy.

Speaker 4 And they all stand on the table and say, he is the best person in the world, maybe. So would you, is he a close personal friend of yours?

Speaker 5 Yeah, he's become that way. But, you know, he's put me in 20 movies.

Speaker 5 I'm always so that's 20 years that you're, you see him doing a movie, even though I'm on the set for maybe, you know, four or five days.

Speaker 5 But he invited me to his daughter's Bot Mitzvah. And, you know, we've,

Speaker 5 he's been to things, family functions of mine and dinner. And

Speaker 5 once you're in with him, you're in forever.

Speaker 5 Once you're in the family, because I remember doing a movie and then Rob Schneider goes, once you're in, you're in. San Man will use you whenever you want to.

Speaker 5 And he has, you know, like I said, 20 movies and he writes a cameo for me. And a lot of times he would write a cameo just so I would go to the movie set so we could play basketball.

Speaker 5 He wanted somebody to be able to play basketball with. And

Speaker 5 I didn't care. I was like,

Speaker 5 I don't have to stay there for a long period of time. You just have to go there and remember your lines, have some fun, play some hoops.

Speaker 1 That's it.

Speaker 4 What was your best acting performance that you've given?

Speaker 5 I think it was the movie Just Go With It with Jennifer Anniston and Nicole Kidman and Dave Matthews, where I play a nightclub owner and they do this competitive dance.

Speaker 5 And I just get to add Lib and say whatever. At one point, I called this large woman big country.

Speaker 5 And I didn't know if Sandman would let me keep it in, but he was like, Danny, just add Lib, just have fun.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 5 Dave Matthews was in the scene as well. But Anniston and Kidman, it was funny when they, when each realized that I had no idea what I was doing, because Kidman is, she's real.

Speaker 5 She's, that's a, she's actress.

Speaker 5 She's all actress. Anniston, you know, kind of fun and goofy, but really comedic timing was wonderful.

Speaker 5 But there was a time when I, the script says, yeah, you come on and then you ad lib and get the contest going. So I came on.
And then I introduced people and then I stopped. And Sandler's out in the,

Speaker 5 you know, with the camera people. And he yells out in front of everybody, Danny, got a fucking ad lib.

Speaker 5 And you can see Aniston and Kidman are staring at me like, holy shit. So Sandman comes up on stage.
I said, look, man, don't let them figure out that I don't know what I'm doing until later, okay?

Speaker 5 And then he goes, and so to his credit, he says out loud, Danny, that's my fault. That's my fault.
I should have written that down. And I go, yeah,

Speaker 5 yeah.

Speaker 5 And then he went back out and I'm going, Holy shit. So Aniston kept saying, You're the sports guy, right? And I go, Yeah.
She goes, So, you're not an actor? I said, Well, I'm a performer.

Speaker 5 And then Nicole Kidman wanted nothing to do with me.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 5 not that there was anything to do with me, but we went to this room where you kind of sit in between scenes.

Speaker 5 And I thought, if I ever get stuck with, you know, Nicole Kidman, I got to have something to talk to her about. And my daughter goes, I'm born on the same day as her daughter is.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 That's a good connection.

Speaker 1 I got it.

Speaker 5 I'm in this room with Sandler's Bulldog. It's just me.
We're watching TV.

Speaker 5 Hidman walks in, and it's one of those where you walk in the room, and then you can't turn around right away because then it looks like you didn't want to go in and talk to this person.

Speaker 5 So she door opens, and I look back, and then she looks over, and she's like,

Speaker 5 So she goes and sits on the couch.

Speaker 5 Once again, we're in the same scene. There's no dialogue.
I'm playing with Sandler's Bulldog.

Speaker 5 And then all of a sudden I go,

Speaker 5 my daughter's born on the same day as your daughter.

Speaker 1 She said,

Speaker 5 she said, oh, great.

Speaker 5 And then she got up and left.

Speaker 5 Well, her husband shows up, Keith Urban, and is talking my ear off. So she's looking at her, like Keith was talking about the Titans.
What do I think of the Tennessee Titans?

Speaker 5 Couldn't have been more involved in sports, but she's now looking at, like, I don't know who you are, but my husband knows me. But Nicole and I, it wasn't magic.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah. I get uncomfortable when she comes on screen introducing me to an AMC theater.
She's like, the magic of cinema, where feeling bad can feel so good. I'm like, please don't talk to me.

Speaker 4 I'm intimidated by you.

Speaker 5 It bothers me when I see her on screen. It brings back bad memories because I'm thinking, God damn.

Speaker 5 She's serious. She was really, she's a very serious actor.
And those people usually aren't welcomed on Sandler movie sets. Yeah.

Speaker 7 People are very serious.

Speaker 5 But Brooklyn Decker was in

Speaker 5 that movie as well.

Speaker 1 I love her. Yes.
Big fan of her. She's a huge fan.

Speaker 5 A lot of fun.

Speaker 1 A lot of fun.

Speaker 1 All right. So I have one last question.
This has been great. Everyone, do go by the occasionally accurate annals of football.

Speaker 1 It's a a great book, great book title.

Speaker 9 Paul's here, kids are back in school, vacations are over, and cozy season is officially on. You know what that means? Bombus season is on.

Speaker 9 Bombus makes the most comfortable socks ever, and they even make slippers, tees, underwear, all crafted from premium materials. Perfect for this time of year and cozying up for football watching.

Speaker 9 Their slippers are also Sherpa lined, which feels like you're walking on the clouds. Bombus really has it all.

Speaker 9 And if you head over to bombus.com/slash audio, you can use the code audio for 20% 20% off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-A-S dot com slash audio.
Code audio at checkout.

Speaker 1 We are on the precipice of the 2023 NFL season. Give us.

Speaker 5 It'd be nice to get some gear, though.

Speaker 1 Oh, we can get you gear. No problem.
No problem.

Speaker 5 I mean, if you want.

Speaker 1 No, we got you. We got you.
Actually,

Speaker 1 can Marvin write this down real quick if you want to give me... Marvin? All right, so

Speaker 1 tell Marvin if you go to roback.com and use promo code TAKEIN, get all the gear you want.

Speaker 5 Oh, okay, that's nice. Yeah, it's a friends and family discounts.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly. That's just for you.
That's a personal discount.

Speaker 5 So 20% off for just me.

Speaker 1 That is awesome.

Speaker 4 We'll delete this part from the show. We don't want our audience hearing that.

Speaker 1 Put Roeback out of business.

Speaker 5 Are we having wings again?

Speaker 1 Do you still go to Ogees?

Speaker 4 Wojeez, yeah. I love that place.
We just moved to Chicago, though. So we're out of.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're out of here. We got a place here, though, for you.
We also got to take you. Maybe we do a trip to Wingnuts.
We found the best wings in the world in Buffalo.

Speaker 1 Literally the best wings in the world.

Speaker 5 And they're in Buffalo?

Speaker 1 Yes. Yes.
They are the best. It's actually worth it to take it.
Like, if you ever have something that, like, oh, maybe I should go to Buffalo for something.

Speaker 1 Be like, yeah, I'm going to go because I want to try these wings.

Speaker 5 So Wingnuts.

Speaker 1 Wingnuts. They're that good.

Speaker 5 Also, you moved out of the city.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no longer in New York.

Speaker 4 We're in Chicago, though. A different city.

Speaker 1 We got a great wing place here, too, when you you get here. And we're going to have a full basketball court in our new office, so you're going to have to come hoop with us.

Speaker 5 Well, we invited you guys here for an ass kicking, and nobody showed up.

Speaker 1 I don't think, I think you fired McLovin like right after that. So I feel like that's what I would, I'll bring McLovin back to play hoop.
I played with him.

Speaker 1 I used to play with him every Saturday morning. Oh, I heard.
I know his game.

Speaker 5 Marvin can play.

Speaker 5 Marvin knows what he's doing.

Speaker 1 Okay. McLovin is

Speaker 1 an all-time, and I do love him. I say this in an endearing way.

Speaker 1 All-time

Speaker 1 shoots a shot and says off or short, and it's a swish and drives you insane. Where he's like, oh, that's short, and then it's just a perfect swish.

Speaker 5 He played a little bit at Dartmouth there in the junior varsity team.

Speaker 1 Yeah, ever heard.

Speaker 1 All right, so rollback question. Give me the spiciest, your spiciest NFL take going into the season.

Speaker 5 My spiciest one is, oh, I just did this this the other day. Hold on, hold on.

Speaker 1 Hold on.

Speaker 1 We're getting away. Hold on.

Speaker 1 He's putting in the microwave. We're going to reheat.
Leftovers? Yeah, reheat its spiciest. Okay.

Speaker 5 Mike White

Speaker 5 will win more games for the Dolphins than Tua Tonguevilo.

Speaker 1 That's me. That's me.

Speaker 4 I hope Tua listens to this. And I hope he calls you out.

Speaker 1 You're on a list now. You and Harden.

Speaker 1 I'm a member of Tuanon. You are now on a list.

Speaker 5 I i didn't say that he looks thick or that he looks like a stripper at onyx

Speaker 1 you you're you're you're in trouble for this take no i'm rooting for him

Speaker 1 doesn't sound like it i

Speaker 5 you know what i'll i'll take that back okay there we go tom mighty comes out of

Speaker 5 okay i like it i like it and and he comes out of retirement to play for the jets yeah oh

Speaker 1 okay that's a great one that's wait a minute give me your give me your hot hot take here.

Speaker 5 You can do it real quick.

Speaker 1 Dak Prescott retires from throwing too many interceptions.

Speaker 1 He retires this year this year. Yeah, this year he throws so many interceptions in the first month of the season.
He's like, I can't. I'm so bad at football.
I'm retiring.

Speaker 5 You're going to be on his list, and I'm going to let him know.

Speaker 1 I'm already on Dexter. I'm already on Dakshin.
Dak doesn't have to listen to it. Don't worry.
Don't you worry. Dak's got a long list.
We've been on that list.

Speaker 4 I think Phillip Rivers is going to come back. He almost came back last year.
Did you hear that with Kyle Shanahan? Yeah. He Kyle shouldn't have said that because

Speaker 4 now all I'm thinking about how awesome that would have been if Phillip Rivers played in the Super Bowl.

Speaker 5 That would have been a great story.

Speaker 5 I'm credible.

Speaker 5 My arm is stronger than Phillip Rivers.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, that's true.
It is.

Speaker 4 I actually think this is the year for Kirk Cousins. I think he wins one, maybe two playoff games.
I'm back in on him.

Speaker 4 I'm like a pendulum with Kirk, where now I feel like I've undervalued him and underappreciated him for so long. And I saw him on that show quarterback, and he's just the nicest person in the world.

Speaker 4 Where now I feel bad rooting against him. So now I'm back on his side.

Speaker 5 Are you okay with the mustache?

Speaker 1 That's a preseason thing.

Speaker 6 I think it's just a preseason thing.

Speaker 4 We think it's like him having fun with the boys in the locker room. They're like, look, look what I did to my mustache.
Isn't that crazy? And he's going to be clean cut by week one. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was just a prank.

Speaker 5 He does strike me as somebody like, hey, isn't this a wild shirt I have on? And, And, you know, it'll be like a plaid shirt that Leave It to Beaver wore. You're like, boy, that is wild, Kirk.

Speaker 5 But I do think, I think that show did soften people's criticism of him because they were like, man, he's just like us. He's an everyday normal guy.

Speaker 5 But it feels like no matter what he does,

Speaker 5 they won 13 games last year. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But we talked about that.
It's never good enough.

Speaker 1 It's never, never good.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I know. Never good enough with Kirk D.

Speaker 4 Cousins. Yeah, I just, I developed a kind of a hatred for him because he was always good enough on the Redskins at the time to be

Speaker 4 better than average, give you hope, and then not good enough to fulfill that hope that you got. But then I realized that was more about me, less about him.

Speaker 4 And he was also just really good at getting paid. He's probably, him and Chase Daniel, the best two quarterbacks at getting paid.

Speaker 4 He's timed everything out perfectly when it comes to the franchise tag. He got that twice, got guaranteed money, got more guaranteed money.

Speaker 4 Now he's going to get more guaranteed money after this season.

Speaker 1 So, I mean, more power to him.

Speaker 4 I can't be mad at him.

Speaker 4 If you're mad at Kirk Cousins, you're really mad at yourself. You're mad at the system.

Speaker 5 Why didn't they go for Trey Lance?

Speaker 1 He probably stinks.

Speaker 4 Well, because Dak's going to retire. Yeah.
So they need some

Speaker 1 setup for him.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but Trey Lance isn't better than Cooper Rush.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 You think? Well, I guess it's a project, I guess, they're trying to do. I don't know.

Speaker 5 And can you be a bust at 23?

Speaker 1 Yes, 100%. Billy football.

Speaker 4 Jamarcus was a bust at 23, right? We knew by then.

Speaker 5 We might have known sooner than that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Manzel kind of was, right? Like, 23 was, yeah, you can, I guess, I guess Trey Lance is not the age. It's can you be a bust without playing? Because he hasn't played.

Speaker 1 So that would be the better question. I think probably not.
He's probably can't. He gets another shot to be officially a bust.

Speaker 5 But if you're 23, if he was taken third overall, but you didn't trade all those first-round picks for him.

Speaker 1 Different. Definitely different.

Speaker 5 Is he, yeah, because some guys,

Speaker 5 like I remember Achille Smith played for the Bengals. He went number two overall.
Nobody ever brings him up as a bust, but they'll bring up Ryan Leap just because Peyton Manning.

Speaker 5 is one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time. Sometimes, like Greg Odin and Kevin Durant.

Speaker 1 Mitch Trubisky and Patrick Mahomes. Like, that's the, where you get, who you get drafted around definitely affects how people think of you, for better or worse.

Speaker 5 Well, thanks for thinking of me. Segue to let you guys say goodbye.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, no, we're not done.
We're just, this is intermission. This half time.
Oh, intermission. This is halftime.
Yeah, yeah. We got another hour.

Speaker 1 Well, Dan.

Speaker 5 Are you guys allowed to drink on the air?

Speaker 4 Yeah, technically, but we learned pretty early on that being drunk while podcasting, not that funny.

Speaker 1 It's one of those things that if you do the drunk thing like three or four times a year, or sometimes we'll do episodes, pardon my bake, where we'll get really, really high, that's funny.

Speaker 1 But if you do it all the time, people are like, well, I don't really want to listen to the drunk guy. So

Speaker 1 it's sparingly.

Speaker 1 Hungover episodes are sometimes our best episodes.

Speaker 4 That's true, but you can't do those every time either. Because no one wants to listen to a drunk person at 7 a.m.
when they're on a train on their way into work.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 5 Well, we were thinking about drinking when we were in Ireland, and

Speaker 5 it was two in the afternoon till five in the afternoon was our time slot. And I thought, I don't know if we're going to be any good.

Speaker 5 It'd be funny with, you know, Fritzie doesn't drink and Marvin doesn't drink, but Seton and I are experienced and Paulie's kind of sneaky, but sometimes it makes you wonder how funny you think you are when you are drunk to then go, would I subject my audience to something like that where we're, you know, doing shots and having Guinness?

Speaker 1 Yeah, not as funny as you think, I think is the answer.

Speaker 5 Well, didn't Eckersley stop drinking because he saw a video of himself when he was drunk, and then that sobered him up that he never had a drink after that.

Speaker 1 Self-awareness. Yes.

Speaker 4 It probably would have been funny to do it one time in Ireland, you know?

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Well, maybe next year when we go back, we'll do that.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Well, thank you, Dan. Always great having you on.
Really love having you be a guest of this show and uh good luck with the next four years four years for everyone to get their gifts ready it is

Speaker 1 the most you've you've sucked your own dick so hard that you're gonna do a four-year retirement tour

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 so it's still it's 20 off yeah roback.com yep okay okay just for you

Speaker 5 that's that special special marvin you got that there okay marvin's not allowed to use it just yeah just you. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 No. Don't tie.
Next thing you know, we're going to get a text from Roeback, and they're going to be like, why are all these people in Connecticut buying it? And then we got a problem.

Speaker 5 All right. Well, good luck with my anals.
And thank you again, guys. And great to talk to you again.

Speaker 1 All right. All right.
Thanks, Dan.

Speaker 13 All protein bars generally taste the same, but not one bars. One made protein bars are actually delicious with Reese's and Hershey's.

Speaker 13 Only one Reese's Peanut Butter Lover's Protein Bar is made with Reese's peanut butter, and only one Hershey's cookies and cream protein bars is made with Hershey's cookie bits while delivering 18 grams of protein and 3 grams of sugar.

Speaker 13 One bars are the perfect protein bar to get you through your busy day, whether you need a quick pick-me-up between meetings or you need some fuel to power you through your next workout.

Speaker 13 One also has other delicious flavors like birthday cake, maple glazed donut, and blueberry cobbler. Find all One Bars at a retailer near you or on Amazon.com.

Speaker 1 Before we do Firefest, we did have an assignment for our darling Jake, and that was to watch the interview of Larry Sinclair. Is his name?

Speaker 1 The man who claims that he had sex with Barack Obama, who went on Tucker Carlson. This started, if you missed the episode, Jason Whitlock had a Twitter space

Speaker 1 titled, Does It Matter If Obama is Gay? We made Jake join the Twitter space and send us the notes. These are the pressing issues.
So, is this a follow-up? Jake, you have your PowerPoint ready?

Speaker 8 Yes, I do.

Speaker 1 Okay, everyone, subscribe to YouTube.

Speaker 8 Yes, you can follow along.

Speaker 1 How close are we to half a milli?

Speaker 1 50,000. Okay, let's get some subscriptions going.
Oh, we're closer. Oh, memes is looking mean at Hank right now.
17,000. 17,000.
You were way off, Hank. Apologize to me.
Sorry, Memes. Okay, Jake.

Speaker 1 Let's do it. Let's give it to us.
Yes.

Speaker 8 Welcome to Sucks

Speaker 8 Drugs Obama. The Larry Sinclair story.

Speaker 1 Now, Jake, did you watch the whole video? Yes. Okay.
How long was it?

Speaker 8 It was 41 minutes.

Speaker 1 What did you think?

Speaker 4 Not the facts, your personal opinion of the broadcast.

Speaker 1 It was ridiculous. I'll say that.
Well, no, you shouldn't be opinionating on this, right? Well, yes,

Speaker 1 it's a test.

Speaker 8 What you're about to see until the last slide is just straight facts.

Speaker 1 Okay. Well, facts according to the

Speaker 8 Larry Sinclair. Okay, all right.

Speaker 1 Tucker's set is awesome.

Speaker 1 It looks very like.

Speaker 8 Do you think it's a green screen or a real screen?

Speaker 1 No, I think it's real. I think it's in Maine.

Speaker 4 He looks like a Ron Swanson hosting a show. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I think he built that table himself.

Speaker 8 I was staring at the creek a lot in the background.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 8 All right, before we get started, let's set the stage. What is going on? Isn't this a sports podcast if you're joining us for the first time? It is, but you guys asked me to do this.

Speaker 4 Yes.

Speaker 1 Why? This feels like you're just trying to.

Speaker 4 No idea.

Speaker 2 I was actually very confused on what was going on, so that's helpful.

Speaker 1 this feels like set the stage jake is basically just being like for any future employer look at the first slide i was coerced into doing yeah okay no i because i do what you guys say unless it's the ray allen that would be great if jake went on tucker and was like the tell-all of pardon my take they made me do dip they made me do dip they made me 18 hot dogs in an hour had me had to dress up like a woman and they made me search the depths of hell to see if obama's gay yeah so who's larry sinclair he encountered barack obama and

Speaker 1 all these allegedly

Speaker 1 allegedly used cocaine with him.

Speaker 8 Yeah, and he currently lives in Mexico.

Speaker 1 Huh. Okay.
Okay.

Speaker 8 All right. We're setting the stage for how they met.
So he was in Chicago.

Speaker 1 This is all alleged. Allegedly.

Speaker 8 Which is Obama's home state of Illinois in 1999 for his godson's graduation.

Speaker 1 Larry had. That already feels bullshit.
That he was here? No, for a godson's graduation? Yeah.

Speaker 8 Also, he said pretty much my godson during the day.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 it's falling apart. It's falling apart.
I don't believe this guy. That literally should have been the end of the interview.
Like, what do you mean, pretty much your godson?

Speaker 8 He said, pretty much, or basically.

Speaker 4 I don't know that much about godsons, but I'm sure that there's a hard and fast line as to whether or not somebody is your actual godson.

Speaker 1 Frank the Take has a god-brother.

Speaker 2 Isn't it like if it's your.

Speaker 1 He does. He has a god-brother.

Speaker 4 If you have a godson, that means that if something happens to parents, then you have to take over that child.

Speaker 1 correct right correct so there's no pretty much there's no pretty much or if you were in fact their godparent then the real parents would be very upset to hear you say that this feels already bullshit okay so larry hired a limo service asked the driver for his god pretty much godson graduation just for himself to go out and explore chicago so he got he has duis

Speaker 4 multiple uh i mean so why else would you hire a limo service why wouldn't you just get in a cab yeah so he hired a limo service the driver pulled up at a bar and then got out of the uh limo and and there was this guy introduced to him by the limo driver as barack obama so that's that's interesting because obama at the time was a state senator which by the way he only got that position because dicka decided not to run against him which dicker regrets to this day uh so he's like mark wahlberg so this guy this guy in the limo was like oh you want to see you want to meet people in chicago let me take you to a bar and introduce you to a state senator That's where we're at?

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 8 So this is their first interaction.

Speaker 6 Got it.

Speaker 1 There was a hundred. Oh, wow, Jake, did you make this slide? Did you look up

Speaker 1 cocaine use?

Speaker 4 Yeah. I think that's actually Jake in the thumbnail doing cocaine.

Speaker 8 So they were having Jake at the bar and Sinclair mentioned.

Speaker 1 Jake did ask if cocaine makes you pee a lot.

Speaker 6 I didn't, but I didn't know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you did. Oh, you did ask that.
Yeah, I did. You did ask that.

Speaker 8 Yeah. Oh, yeah, I'm going with bits now.

Speaker 1 What? Turn the corner. You asked that question.

Speaker 1 I did. When we went to the bathroom,

Speaker 1 oh, yes, yes, I actually did. Detroit.
Yeah. I might have said, wow, this bathroom looks like a perfect place to create it.
Yes. And then Jake said, what, does cocaine make you do a pee a lot?

Speaker 1 I was like, oh, God. Yeah.

Speaker 8 So Larry asked Obama, allegedly, he could use something to wake up.

Speaker 1 And Obama immediately know what to do.

Speaker 1 They then left the bar to get co-en left the bar to get cocaine.

Speaker 8 Obama secured it.

Speaker 8 Sinclair put a line on a CD trade to snort in the limo, and Obama pulled out a pipe to smoke out of. Larry said, Some people smoke, some people snort.

Speaker 4 So, Obama then started to do crack in front of him.

Speaker 1 And this is, all right, again, this is a state senator, and he meets a random stranger who says, Man, I'm tired. And then he's just like, I got you.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's be fair.

Speaker 4 Sinclair pulled up in a limousine, okay? So it's not like this was some nobody that was flying, and Obama's probably like, oh, this guy's legit.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 8 so they secured the drugs. Now we move on to the sex part.

Speaker 1 Sinclair started.

Speaker 4 Step two, will sex happen? Question mark.

Speaker 8 Sinclair started rubbing his hand on Obama's thigh to see where it was going, and it went the direction that Larry intended to go.

Speaker 8 Sinclair says he performed oral sex on Obama in the limbo, and he said it definitely wasn't Barack's first time that much in maps.

Speaker 1 How would you know?

Speaker 4 He just felt certain. He was really good at getting ahead, like very comfortable with it.
So we'll embrace debate.

Speaker 4 Would you say that Obama's gay if he just got a blowjob?

Speaker 4 Well, yeah, if you just state it like that, if you close your eyes, you're like, maybe the 60-year-old guy is actually a hot chick.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay.

Speaker 8 All right, so this is what happened on their first night. The next day.

Speaker 1 Wait, that looks photoshopped. It is.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I just googled Sinclair Obama.

Speaker 1 That's so blindly photoshopped. Yeah.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 8 Apparently, Obama showed up at Sinclair's hotel room the next day with no warning because he wanted to run it back.

Speaker 1 He wanted to get more heads. Okay.
So back to back.

Speaker 1 What a quote. You're not going to believe this.
I blew this guy twice.

Speaker 8 Yeah, Sinclair said that to his friends when he saw Obama in 2004 when he's watching the Democratic Convention.

Speaker 1 Like when we're watching football, we're like, hey, blah, blah, blah, PFT, you're not going to believe this. Yeah, so that guy blew that guy.
Why would he ask for some reciprocation? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 8 Good point. Yeah.
So that's what happened the next day. Tucker Carlson.
You can be critical if you want, but he actually was a very good journalist here. He asked, what was Obama like on crack?

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 8 And Sinclair said, calm, almost euphoric, pretty controlled and talkative, but not really saying anything. I mean, that just contradicts each other.

Speaker 4 Pretty good description of Obama in general.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but that doesn't.

Speaker 8 They then said Tucker was like, kind of like his presidency.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 that kind of, okay, all right. Yeah.
And then that's not what a person on crack looks like, but yeah, okay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is like Larry Sinclair's like, yeah, the boobs. So

Speaker 8 Sinclair apparently put this whole, what he said on Tucker was apparently on YouTube in 2008.

Speaker 8 youtube took it down and he claims that youtube gave away his account and his microsoft email to where he said microsoft gave away access to his email and vacation replies were busy telling people that he was quote busy giving blowjobs and i'll get back to you when he's done so that was the auto reply so it's kind of like a ps5 message okay microsoft gave access to his email and vacation replies were busy saying i'm busy giving blowjobs and i'll get back that definitely sounds like something microsoft would do yeah

Speaker 1 just a random guy so let's take his email and joke on him.

Speaker 4 Jake, I did do some research into this on my own when I found out that this guy was going to be on Tucker.

Speaker 4 He said this actually for the first time in 2004. 2004.
2004 is when he said it. He gave like a big speech at the Washington.

Speaker 1 He failed to polygraph, Sex.

Speaker 4 He failed to polygraph. Also, he's been convicted a couple times.
Oh, you'll forgive me.

Speaker 1 We'll get to that one. Okay, all right.
But

Speaker 4 he did make these statements like in 2004.

Speaker 8 Okay. Well, he claims that Microsoft gave away his account and people were.

Speaker 4 I think it'd be funny if there was a guy that looked exactly like Obama who was gay and probably had sex with, I don't know, like 500 guys coast to coast.

Speaker 4 So there's a bunch of guys across America that think that they had sex with Obama.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That would be a great wrinkle to the story.

Speaker 8 All right, now the drum roll.

Speaker 1 The drum roll. This is your verdict.
I don't believe him. Okay.
All right. Why?

Speaker 8 Well, as PFT mentioned, he's been in prison in three different states.

Speaker 8 He has a specialty in crimes involving deceit.

Speaker 1 He's okay.

Speaker 1 He's a serial liar.

Speaker 8 The record also indicates one of his prison sentences, jail sentences, were 16 years, and there's many more details to his criminal background, but I'm not going to waste your time.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 16 years for forgery seems like you were forging something pretty important.

Speaker 1 Catch me if you can't.

Speaker 8 And then our boss, Dave Portnoy, also chimes in on this topic earlier today on Twitter, and he's on my side. Yeah.
He doesn't agree with anything he's saying.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he said, I met Larry Sinclair when I was doing my Tucker thing a couple weeks ago. I would trust Anna Delvey before I trusted anything.

Speaker 1 Larry Sinclair said, top to bottom, maybe the least trustworthy human I've ever laid eyes on. I'd say his story has 0.0%

Speaker 1 chance of being true on that channel.

Speaker 4 I'm looking at the font there.

Speaker 1 He definitely used the letter O and then the number zero, which is insane. Maybe that's a good way of, like, if Larry Sinclair ever tries to sue Dave, he's like, well, that wasn't

Speaker 1 an actual percent.

Speaker 8 Yeah. Invalid number.

Speaker 1 That's smart. Yeah, this is,

Speaker 1 I'm going to say I don't believe him. Thank you, Jake.

Speaker 4 I do. You know, I do.
I do believe the guy.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 the end. Well, until I'm never doing this again, unless Big Cat or PFT asked me, yeah, no, I was gonna say, this is this story is not over.

Speaker 1 I'm sure Jason Willock might have even a Twitter space tonight.

Speaker 4 If anybody out there has had sex with Barack Obama, please email PMT intern PMT intern at barslowsports.com. Jake will investigate your claims thoroughly.
Yes, so there you have it.

Speaker 4 Actually, Jake, if somebody actually claims that they had sex with Obama, you have to interview them.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, we should do a special report with Larry Sinclair. Okay, okay.
Yep, so there you have it. That's I hope that helped.
Uh, no, not really. All right, well, no, no, it's not your fault.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's just a liar went on TV and said a story.

Speaker 8 I spent some time putting it all together.

Speaker 1 It helped in the fact that it confirmed that I did. Well, I guess actually it did help because I don't have to watch the video now.

Speaker 8 Yeah. I watched it on 2XB too, just for being clear.

Speaker 1 Oh, so you might have

Speaker 1 something you got to disclose before the report.

Speaker 8 Well, I'm saying it now.

Speaker 1 A little late. A little cheap.
All right. right, Bucky, I'm on your side.
I think it happened.

Speaker 4 I think Obama was hanging out at a bar. Lumo pulled up and he was like, oh, let's be clear.

Speaker 4 I want you to give me some head.

Speaker 1 Oh, I need something to wake up.

Speaker 1 And he took him right out of the bar.

Speaker 4 Damn. What if he was like, I need some to wake up? And Obama just pulled his cock out.
Here you go.

Speaker 1 Here you go.

Speaker 6 Whether I'm hosting game day at my place or taking my talents to the tailgate, Boar's Head is my go-to for a spread that's as exciting as the game itself. Their platters are a hit every time.

Speaker 6 They've got everything you need to keep your guests coming back for more. And if you want to take it up a notch, grab a few dips.

Speaker 6 My personal favorite, the blazing buffalo chicken, hummus, or even one of their charcuterie collections for game-changing flavor.

Speaker 6 Boarshead helps me elevate my entertaining every time, whether it's for a tailgate or a home gating celebration.

Speaker 6 To upgrade your spread, visit your local Boarshead deli for platter options or build your own to make it perfect for your crowd. Boarshead, committed to craft since 1905.

Speaker 1 All right, let's finish up the show.

Speaker 1 We got football this weekend. Firefest of the week.
Hank.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I talked about the bachelor party last weekend in Nashville. Took a lot out of me.
I was, you know, fighting through this week. Very busy week.
A couple long days.

Speaker 2 Yesterday was in the office late, going through advisors, finished, and Wanton Don was streaming, trying to get to 500k subscribers on YouTube. I hopped on.
We were just shooting the shit.

Speaker 2 One of those situations, I kind of

Speaker 2 forgot we were on a live stream, but just wasn't, you know, my brain certainly wasn't on. I was wiped.
I was about to go home, but I just hopped in for a minute. We started talking,

Speaker 2 and he told me that cows and bulls are actually the same

Speaker 2 species, and that blew my mind. And then everyone was roasting me on the internet for being really stupid.

Speaker 1 Shit.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's like the bull is the male version of a cow.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I didn't know that.

Speaker 1 Damn. You learn to know that every day.
All right. Thank thank you.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 Thank you, man.

Speaker 1 Idiots.

Speaker 2 How many times have you seen bulls and cows hanging out? A lot.

Speaker 4 Where? I lived in Texas for like 10 years.

Speaker 2 All right. I guess, again,

Speaker 2 it was dumb.

Speaker 7 It was a mistake.

Speaker 2 Not a mistake. I'm just dumb.
Not a mistake. But it was live, and that was the mistake.

Speaker 2 And I set myself up again.

Speaker 4 And also you have diarrhea.

Speaker 1 Wait till Hank finds out about roosters and chickens.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, that was the example used. That one I knew.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. Hen, you know.
I knew that.

Speaker 2 I knew it's in my name, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, henies.

Speaker 1 Uh, okay, you're not a world-educated, smart person, no, world-renowned, world-renowned smart person, so that's fine.

Speaker 2 You learn something new every day. I'm sure there's people listening that are like, wait,

Speaker 1 bulls are the males and cows, maybe, maybe some like 14-year-olds. I don't think so.

Speaker 2 No,

Speaker 2 I thought there was male and female cows. That's on me, Max.

Speaker 1 You knew that?

Speaker 11 No, I did not know that. I think this is a group thing that it's easy to, you know, talk shit after the fact, but I think that that's a fun fact that I did not know that.

Speaker 1 Okay. Bulls are like aggressive.

Speaker 11 Cows are

Speaker 1 men. They're guys.
They didn't know either.

Speaker 1 All right, yeah. Know the walls?

Speaker 1 Yes. All right.
You didn't either?

Speaker 2 No, on Firefest.

Speaker 1 Take it back.

Speaker 2 I take it back. Okay.
Not a fire fest at all.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Take it stricken from the record. What's your firefest?

Speaker 1 All right, PFT.

Speaker 4 My Fire Fest is, I also had a good time last weekend. I hopped out to Lake Tahoe for a weekend.
It was beautiful out there. Awesome place.
Want to go back next year, maybe for the golf tournament.

Speaker 4 But on my way out there, I was on vacation. It was a Friday afternoon, so it was the weekend.
And I started having a couple cocktails.

Speaker 4 And one cocktail turned into two, turned into three, turned into four, turned into five on the plane. And how long is a flight? It wasn't that long.

Speaker 4 It was maybe like three and a half hours, something. But I was mowing through them.
I can drink on a plane.

Speaker 4 That's where, like, I'm in my god moment on a plane i could just suck them down i'm like larry sinclair and so i i had a bunch of cocktails and uh then i proceeded to brag on on twitter i was like not to brag but i think i just set the world record for the amount of cocktails drank on the plane and then i get off the plane get onto my connecting flight to go out to tahoe

Speaker 4 and um i realized that i left my wallet on the plane as i'm in the air on my way to lake tahoe so i had to go to a place with casinos with no no ID in my pocket.

Speaker 4 Don't still don't have my wallet with me. Don't have my debit card.
Don't have any of my IDs. Don't have anything like that.
I'm waiting to get it shipped back from the airline.

Speaker 4 It still hasn't arrived. And then I'm getting on another plane tomorrow to fly.
And so, yeah, I've just been without. I've been Sans' wallet for the last week.
You have a passport, though.

Speaker 4 I do have a passport. So I'll be able to, I mean, thank you for reminding me.
I need to pack that tonight. Yes.

Speaker 4 Because I don't think that they'll let me fly to South Carolina for the Pup Punk concert at USC. Plug God.
Plug God.

Speaker 4 But yeah, I've just been without a wallet all week.

Speaker 1 We've made it like

Speaker 1 a bad thing for us to plug shit.

Speaker 8 God forbid I promote the company.

Speaker 1 No. We've just bullied ourselves into being like, let's never promote anything we're doing.

Speaker 4 Yeah, but I am going to be at Bojangles playing with Pup Punk on Friday night at 9 p.m. There's a bus.
There's a shuttle that's taking people out there. Come see us.
I won't have my wallet, though.

Speaker 2 Will they be serving food during the set?

Speaker 4 You know, that's a good question. I would imagine that they're going to have food.
It's Bojangles after all.

Speaker 1 And just like that.

Speaker 2 So will there be people walking in, like, just going to get a number three?

Speaker 1 I don't know. A couple of punk players.

Speaker 4 I hope it's like that viral video of the punk band playing in Denny's.

Speaker 1 What is he saying?

Speaker 1 Let's fucking go, Denny's.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Yeah, that's what we're going to be doing.

Speaker 1 And just for anyone who's going out there, have a great time. If you're feeling tired at all, PFT will let you suck his dick.

Speaker 4 I will.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's a fact.

Speaker 1 That's a fact.

Speaker 4 You guys in the yak have the kiss coin.

Speaker 4 I've got the suck dollar. So if you just give me my dollar.
All you got to do is yawn.

Speaker 1 If you give me my suck dollar, then it's you're allowed to well you have to show up in a limo yeah if you show up in a limo and you have to have a pretty much godson yep yeah uh all right i my fire fest is a pre-fire fest i football's all the way back and i am

Speaker 1 just realizing like how much my uh mood and happiness goes along with my teams because i do think the badgers are might be in trouble going to washington state on saturday night and then the bears packers we already talked about how significant this feels and i lose both i've had that thought in my head like oh, yeah, you're a loser.

Speaker 1 You like, you have a great life, you have a great family, all these things, but yet you still let the outcome of a football game affect how you are going to feel for an entire week.

Speaker 1 And I had that epiphany this morning, and there's nothing I can do about it. Never give it up, though.
Yeah, if I go on two, it's going to be sad boy season. Never give it up.

Speaker 1 Coming Sunday and Monday. So

Speaker 1 yeah, it's a pre-fire fest, just more of like a

Speaker 1 maybe I should try to figure out a way to emotionally be able to handle things better, but I don't think that would be better.

Speaker 4 Imagine how bad the show would be if we emotionally handled things well.

Speaker 1 No, it would be awful. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Can you imagine Hank just being able to be like, oh, well, the Patriots aren't very good this season, whatever. I'll just bet on the Cowboys.

Speaker 4 It would make the show awful if he did that, hypothetically.

Speaker 1 It'd be like when the Heat and the Panthers lost in the finals for Jake.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and he was like, oh,

Speaker 1 get him next. It was a good run.
It was a good run. Yeah, see? See? See? We don't want that.

Speaker 1 We don't want to be like, if the Bears lose to the Packers, I'm like, well, I liked a lot of the things that we saw. Yeah.
Well, here's the thing.

Speaker 8 Like, I know know I'm a loser for not being a die-hard fan, but I can walk in on Sunday with you guys, you know, and no matter what, it's going to be a great day.

Speaker 1 Oh, see, yeah.

Speaker 8 I truly feel that way.

Speaker 4 No, but you know what? Like, Max loses the Super Bowl. He comes on the show, and he just, he's got the thousand-yard stare.

Speaker 7 It looks like he got a little

Speaker 4 lobotomy and just takes our time. How did we get here?

Speaker 1 It was great.

Speaker 1 We're actually,

Speaker 4 we're using you as a great example, Max.

Speaker 1 You're the perfect example for sad sports fandom.

Speaker 1 Okay, Jake, finish this off.

Speaker 8 Yeah, the other day, I was on my way to the office. I was taking the bus here, the CTA.
I was running to catch the bus, and I strained my quad.

Speaker 1 Oh, no.

Speaker 1 And then I played

Speaker 1 and it hurts. And you don't.

Speaker 1 Can you get the ADA apartment back?

Speaker 8 Honestly.

Speaker 1 I mean, you might need it.

Speaker 8 No, I'm fine walking. It's just running.
Sometimes it hurts.

Speaker 4 What noise did you make? Running sometimes.

Speaker 1 How often are you running?

Speaker 8 To catch the bus. I'm playing tennis and pickleball.

Speaker 1 Okay, so then stop playing tennis and pickleball. Well, we'll see.

Speaker 1 Also. Like, if I get an injury that's like, I can't run, oh, no.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Nothing in my life will change.

Speaker 8 Like, unfortunately, I can't run the 5K, but I'm still going to show up and support the cause.

Speaker 1 How do you know?

Speaker 4 You might be feeling good by Saturday.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I might be. By the way, that's going to be a great PMTV.
So Max is going to run the 5K on Saturday. Maybe I could still run it.
Under 33 minutes, and he gets $5,000 for me and $5,000

Speaker 1 for PFT donated to pause.

Speaker 8 Are you running it?

Speaker 2 I got to help film.

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I got to help film. I got to go to Tusculus City.

Speaker 2 You definitely didn't sprain your leg. You just don't want to run the fire.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 No. You know.

Speaker 1 Why don't you cut it out? I'll help with whatever. No, we don't need to do it.
You just said help running. I actually do.
I actually think you can beat Max.

Speaker 1 Every person who runs saves a dog's life. I'm running.
Oh, there we go. I am going.

Speaker 1 Just be

Speaker 1 just be his pacer. Okay, I'll run with Max.
Yeah, run with Max. Just go file, like, just do the pacing.
That would actually be very funny for the video. Done.

Speaker 1 If you have the pace and you keep them, you're like, all right, Max. We've got to pay for it.
Just like be a type guy. Yeah.
Dude, 33 minutes, like, you can walk some of that.

Speaker 1 I'm going to walk a lot of it. All right, Max.
You can't walk a lot of it. I'm going.

Speaker 8 Positive odds only.

Speaker 4 He can walk probably three minutes. Yeah.

Speaker 1 If you walk fast,

Speaker 10 you could do this.

Speaker 1 A light, light jog should be able to do it.

Speaker 1 I can't jog that long. Okay.

Speaker 4 Have you trained?

Speaker 11 I also have stretch. I might have strep throat.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 4 Dude, Max, you can't get a sick at the start of football football season.

Speaker 1 Everyone, subscribe to the Part of My Take YouTube. We won't release the max running video until we get to 500,000.

Speaker 4 And also, the golf video is going to be a good thing.

Speaker 1 That's actually not true. We're going to release it next week.
When are they coming out, Max?

Speaker 11 Yeah, golf is next week.

Speaker 1 Okay, so yeah,

Speaker 1 we won't release the 5k run.

Speaker 4 What about the Ryder Cup? When's that coming out, Max?

Speaker 1 The week after.

Speaker 1 Until 500,000.

Speaker 1 Let's get half a million. Everyone subscribe.
Smash said subscribe. Everyone subscribe.
Just subscribe.

Speaker 4 So many people listen.

Speaker 1 Subscribe. Yeah, I know.
Subscribe. There's someone listening right now

Speaker 1 who watches it and isn't subscribed. That's crazy.
You know what?

Speaker 4 Lead from the front.

Speaker 1 You're not subscribed.

Speaker 4 No, but I'm going to do it right now.

Speaker 1 Lead from the front.

Speaker 4 That's insane. Lead from the front.
Here's what we're going to do.

Speaker 1 I'm definitely subscribed. I don't subscribe.
No, I'm definitely. Yeah, I've been subscribed.

Speaker 4 I let the algorithm tell me what. No, I'm subscribed.
Okay, let's see. Part of my take.

Speaker 1 Yeah, let's go, people.

Speaker 4 Part of my take,

Speaker 4 subscribed.

Speaker 1 We're 20k away.

Speaker 1 We have four. Subscribed.

Speaker 1 All right, let's go.

Speaker 8 Also, I lost my blue check mark temporarily.

Speaker 4 Oh, what'd you do?

Speaker 8 I gave my profile a makeover, and they put you through like a review period.

Speaker 1 That was a low point for me reading that makeover.

Speaker 4 A makeover? Why? What'd you put?

Speaker 1 It was just like new Twitter bio, like new, new profile. Yeah, I'm going to look at the start.

Speaker 4 All right, initial reaction.

Speaker 1 But you like it? But you went from a picture. I don't know.
You went from a picture in a suit to a picture in a suit.

Speaker 1 You're the dude.

Speaker 1 You're the teacher coming in every day with the same outfit.

Speaker 1 You're okay. It's a barstool picture.

Speaker 4 Jake Marsh, part of my take podcast, play-by-play broadcaster, Q's alum, golf, pickleball, tennis. No football?

Speaker 1 Can we get Mr. Positions in there? No.
Why? You are Mr. Positions.

Speaker 8 Someone recommended Plug God.

Speaker 1 Oh, Mr.

Speaker 4 Positions is better, though.

Speaker 1 No one will know what that means. It's true.
Yeah. Could mean anything.

Speaker 1 Okay. Great show, boys.

Speaker 1 Can't wait for football. Football's back.
Everyone, tune in. Stream.
Sunday, we'll be streaming for the entirety of the first slate and second slate. And then we'll be doing boomers on Monday.

Speaker 1 Next time you hear us,

Speaker 1 oh, numbers.

Speaker 4 Numbers. Numbers.

Speaker 1 Three. You ever gotten this, memes?

Speaker 1 30.

Speaker 1 No, you have never gotten this. 20 memes has one.

Speaker 1 Oh, 69.

Speaker 1 ninety-seven

Speaker 1 Love you guys.

Speaker 1 Don't give away.

Speaker 1 I love what I say, I'd say it anyway.

Speaker 1 Today's on my day.

Speaker 1 Shy away.

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for your love of day.

Speaker 1 Shy away.

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for your love of me. I'll be on the stage.

Speaker 1 I'm watching.

Speaker 1 But be somebody.

Speaker 1 Spelling the new body to me. Say I'm me.

Speaker 1 Without you, I'm a silhouette.

Speaker 1 You all been out to remember. You're shy and

Speaker 1 love coming in very lightly.

Speaker 1 drink on me, take

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 up,

Speaker 1 drink on the isle,

Speaker 1 drink on me,

Speaker 1 drink on me,

Speaker 1 drink on me,

Speaker 1 drink