Fantasy Football Preview with Jerry O’Connell, NFL New Rules Refresher, CFB Is Back, Mt Rushmore of Pizza Toppings And Fyre Fest

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
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Speaker 1 On today's Pardon My Take, we have our very good friend Jerry O'Connell in person. He flew to Chicago for 10 hours just to do our annual fantasy football preview with Jerry O'Connell.

Speaker 1 And it delivered. He wrote a poem for Jake at the end.
It was a great time. A lot of laughs.
College football's back. We're going to talk about that.
We have the finale for Mount Rushmore season.

Speaker 1 We're just, we're like a 16 and

Speaker 1 15 in one team playing none of the starters in week 18. Hank is just

Speaker 1 Hank's on cruise control right now. Yeah, it's sad.
It's sad.

Speaker 3 I think it's actually

Speaker 3 way more disgusting what Hank did than what we did in the pizza draft.

Speaker 1 Yes, I'd agree. But we're going to run back the pizza draft for real this time.

Speaker 1 Off the dome.

Speaker 3 Hank's going for the first overall pick.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's going for the first overall pick in next year's Mount Rushmore. We're going to do Fire Fest of the week.
And we're going to send everyone on to Labor Day weekend.

Speaker 1 Great long weekend and football's back.

Speaker 3 I'll give you another bonus in this episode. Just a prediction off the top.
If you've never heard Hank yawn, I think this might be a hot Hank ya.

Speaker 1 I respect the listeners. Also, I completely forgot.
We have presentations today. Oh, yeah.
We have the presentation today. That's cool, Jake.
New place. Three-part presentation.

Speaker 1 Yeah, new face, new place,

Speaker 1 rules. Are you doing rules? Yeah, rules.
And then you to Hank Football Match. Yeah, Hank is going to ace his football match.
Three-part presentation.

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Speaker 5 It's Pardon Mighty THE NOW ONE SPARD PODCAST ON THE Charts and in your hearts.

Speaker 5 Hey,

Speaker 1 Today is Friday, September 1st.

Speaker 1 It's the first of the month. Wake up, wake up, wake up.
It's the first of the month.

Speaker 3 We're having a wonderful day.

Speaker 1 Football's back.

Speaker 3 And I love it. And I love it, big cat.
We got to watch multiple meaningful football games tonight.

Speaker 3 It's back for most of us.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 We got to watch. I had Graham Mertz, PTSD, great kid.
They're just kids. Just a reminder, college football, they're just kids.
Yeah. But

Speaker 1 under pressure didn't feel so good.

Speaker 3 It was not good for him tonight. Utah looks great, even though they don't have their starting quarterback, but they still look really good.

Speaker 3 I say it was back for most of us because there was a big, big fiasco going on with cable service tonight. Yes.

Speaker 3 Spectrum and ESPN decided to end their contract, terminate their contract at kickoff

Speaker 3 for Utah, Florida. So if you have Spectrum, you got treated to the pregame shows and then a fade-out to black at kickoff.
That is terrorism. These are terrorists that we're dealing with.

Speaker 3 And you're making me choose between Spectrum, a cable company that everybody hates because we hate all cable companies, it seems like, and then ESPN.

Speaker 1 And you don't have a winner.

Speaker 3 I don't want to root for either one of these sides because I'm sure ESPN is charging a fuckload of money to the cable companies.

Speaker 3 The cable companies rip you off every month when they make you pay your cable bill. And now they're just cutting service off at the worst possible time to start the year.
This is injustice.

Speaker 3 Fucking terrorism is what it is.

Speaker 1 This is injustice. This should be, we should march on Washington.
We should. This is bullshit.

Speaker 3 I'm boycotting ESPN until

Speaker 3 next

Speaker 3 Monday night.

Speaker 1 Okay, I was going to say until tomorrow night.

Speaker 3 I think they have a couple games tomorrow. Okay, so I'll boycott until tomorrow night.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 The good news is, though, people who are watching on Fox got to see football in its purest form. I'm talking about Nebraska, Minnesota.
First half, can I read seven possessions?

Speaker 1 Seven possessions, punt, punt, field goal, interception, misfield goal, interception. There's actually six possessions.

Speaker 3 So I think Nebraska's getting it all figured out. They don't need to step it up to compete with the Ohio states of the world.

Speaker 3 They just need to drag everybody down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Speaker 1 Yeah, get them into the depths.

Speaker 3 Yeah, drag them up to the depths and wait for them to drown. Yes.
Also, the replay official in that game should be investigated. Agreed.
That was bullshit.

Speaker 3 What happened to Nebraska at the end of the first half? People don't lie. They came back, scored a touchdown early.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but that also was very much a Nebraska. Like, you can just tell a team like Nebraska, and I do think Matt Rule's a good college football coach.
Notice I said college football.

Speaker 1 When a team like Nebraska has something like that happen to them, I even said it out loud. We were all watching.
I was like, they're getting zero points here. Next play interception.

Speaker 3 You know what I love about Matt Ruhl is that everywhere he goes, he makes the team that he joins design a smock for him to wear. It's like the smock follows him.

Speaker 3 He won't join your program unless you have a smock designer on point. There are a few of those guys.

Speaker 3 Like I'm sure that Chris would get the custom-made sweatshirts that wear that he went, the Heather gray sweatshirts. Yes.

Speaker 3 The

Speaker 3 John Dorsey, the GM, now he's with the Lions. He was with the Chiefs and the Browns earlier.
He had those same like

Speaker 3 gray sweatshirts that he gets made especially especially for him everywhere he goes. And we saw him in Detroit, and he was the only one in the building rocking that sweatshirt.

Speaker 1 I think it goes even further than clothes. I think, like, if Dabbo ended up somewhere else, he would be like, let's build a hill so I can run down first in front of everyone.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because it is about me. I've noticed that.
The kids.

Speaker 3 Urban Meyer, he just spends everywhere he goes. There's some college girls around him.

Speaker 1 There's some buttholes. Kind of wild.
Ready to get figured. Yeah, but college football's back.
It's great to see all the games out there.

Speaker 1 It's, it's, it's, I don't really, I was thinking about it earlier today. Like, I love the NFL.

Speaker 1 The NFL is obviously the best sport in the world, but there's something about the chaotic nature of college football that you can't expect. Like what you're watching sometimes just isn't football.

Speaker 1 Like, devolves into some other type of sport. Even that Nebraska plays a perfect example that it's just, it's so entertaining.
It's so entertaining. Like,

Speaker 1 NFL is like, you go in and you know it's going to be like a nine out of 10 movie every single time.

Speaker 1 College is like, you could be watching a five out of ten, then it's an 11 out of 10. What's something out of nowhere?

Speaker 3 Sometimes the like 2 out of 10 games are the best for coach football. Yeah, Nebraska's touchdown that they had,

Speaker 3 it was on

Speaker 3 a pass back to their quarterback who then batted the ball forward in a touching tribute to their volleyball team that filled the stadium with like 90,000 people.

Speaker 1 Shout out them. That was incredible.
It was awesome.

Speaker 1 92,000 people. Yeah.
92,000 people who watch women's volleyball is awesome. Women's volleyball doesn't get enough credit.
It's a fun sport to watch. It is.

Speaker 3 Every time I watch it, I get fooled watching from like the camera angle. I'm like, no, jump in the air now.
There's like three people jumping to spike it. It's crazy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it is a very fun sport to watch. That was very cool.
First televised broadcast I ever did. ACC Network Extra Women's Volleyball.
Syracuse, George Attack. Wow.
Wow. Okay.
That's fun fact there.

Speaker 1 People put that in your Jake trivia. Shout out Liberos.
Shout out Liberos.

Speaker 1 They were the ones who wear the different color.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah, that's right. That's what they call them.

Speaker 1 We don't want to get this deep down.

Speaker 3 We just call them the captains.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 We complimented women's volleyball. We don't have to.

Speaker 3 We spend a lot of time talking about women's volleyball. Yes.
Probably more time than baseball.

Speaker 1 Dingers only.

Speaker 1 Okay, so now the football's back. We have a couple presentations we're going to do today.

Speaker 1 We're going to... Jake has new...
Memes did this, right? Memes did the new team. Memes and I collabed.
Okay, so are you going to be able to put this in the YouTube?

Speaker 1 Are we going to be able to put this in the YouTube for the people? How are we going to be able to see this right now?

Speaker 1 I sent it to them. I sent it to Evan.
It'll be in the YouTube. Okay, but what about

Speaker 1 this right now? I can just, like, put it in the middle of the video. Okay, all right.
Put it right there. Yeah, yeah, all right.
Yeah. We could put it on the TV, too.
Let's do that.

Speaker 1 Yes, put it on the TV.

Speaker 3 A memes Jake joint.

Speaker 1 Okay, a memes and Jake collab. Joint.
I noticed that you just put by Jake Marsh, though. Well, yeah, that was.

Speaker 1 Okay, great. So memes has been completely erased for you.
Well, you're part of this, too. Me? You're part of this.
Oh, well, I'm doing a quiz with Hank.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, that's what I have as part two of the presentation. Matt, trivia.
Yeah, yeah. Okay, this is to get everyone ready for football season.

Speaker 1 It's very important important for everyone to listen to.

Speaker 1 I'm sure you nailed this

Speaker 3 PowerPoint.

Speaker 3 Right off the bat, I like two things, Jake. One, you did part one, part two, part three, and Roman numerals, which is great.
That's like football, you know, Super Bowl stuff.

Speaker 3 And then you say all information courtesy of the NFL.

Speaker 1 Yeah, thank you for source. Thank you for doing that.
Okay, and Jake, make sure you explain each slide for the podcast listeners. Obviously, we're going to put this on the YouTube as well.
Yes. Okay.

Speaker 1 Here we go. So starting with PowerPoint.
How many sides are there, by the way?

Speaker 1 I'm already bored. 22, but 10.
my God.

Speaker 1 10 now. 10 of them are just like bang, bang.
You guys guessed. Oh, you're probably

Speaker 1 pictures. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Jackie, you got to say that they're pictures in the picture.

Speaker 1 Okay, okay. All right.
Whew. 22.
That was like when you go, like a trainer works you out, and they're like,

Speaker 1 we're going to do like eight different things and then we're going to run a mile. It's like, well, I can't do this.

Speaker 1 You should have told us there were five slides and they just kept on surprising us with more. There's only three parts.
You got to understand. And you're one of them.
Okay, yeah. You keep saying that.

Speaker 1 my thing is very easy hank uh 14 plus three

Speaker 1 17. two two touchdowns in a in an extra point

Speaker 1 what two touchdowns and an extra point

Speaker 1 two touchdowns at one extra point i two touchdowns and an extra point 13. okay that was slow that was very slow by you you had to ask it twice

Speaker 3 Because his mind went to like, wait, is it touchdown worth seven? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 28 plus 14.

Speaker 1 42. Okay, that was quite easy.
Hank's getting better. better.

Speaker 3 I have one. Hank, what is the difference between these two scores? 31 to 17.

Speaker 1 14. Yeah, that's pretty nice.

Speaker 3 That's nice. In my opinion, that's the biggest 14-point lead in football.

Speaker 1 That's huge. Are you guys going to sprinkle those trivia questions in throughout? Yeah, we'll just do dated.

Speaker 1 Four touchdowns, four extra points, three field goals. No.

Speaker 1 Come on. Four touchdowns, four extra points, three field goals.

Speaker 4 Four times six. Come on, Hank.

Speaker 1 24. Why wouldn't you just do four times seven? Four touchdowns, four extra points.
28. You're three field goals.

Speaker 3 28,

Speaker 3 37.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. He's hot.
He's hot. Don't let the boy cook up.

Speaker 4 I thought we had this math conversation. Three.

Speaker 3 Three touchdowns. No.

Speaker 1 Two extra points.

Speaker 3 One two-point conversion and a safety.

Speaker 1 This is the worst podcast I've ever heard. We didn't even get through one Jake slide.
I was hoping that if we did enough math, Jake would just leave and we wouldn't have to do this.

Speaker 3 All right, here we go. We got the rule changes.

Speaker 1 I feel like I'm back in school. Rule changes.

Speaker 1 the first rule change, instant replay reversal. Under two minutes, if something is reversed, the play clock is reset to 40 instead of 25.

Speaker 3 That's when the guys are all going like this. Yeah, then the raise the rules thing.

Speaker 1 Okay, okay. But there is a little like specific fuck that.
Pass through it. Okay.

Speaker 1 Also, inside two minutes, if there is a reversal,

Speaker 1 they will potentially do a 10-second runoff or charge a team timeout. I'm confused.
Go to the next slide. All right.

Speaker 1 This one's actually good. Okay.
If you fail all failed fourth down conversion.

Speaker 1 All failed fourth down conversions are automatically reviewed like touchdowns. Oh, I like that.
Oh, okay. That is good.
Yeah. We would have known that.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 But if it's successful and a team wants to review it being reversed, you have to challenge. Right, got it.

Speaker 3 On the defensive side. Okay, so, and head coaches are prohibited from challenging a failed fourth-down conversion.

Speaker 1 Right, because it's automatically reviewed. Yeah, got it.
So you don't need to burn a challenge. So I think that benefits everyone.
I actually really like that one. Okay, okay, good.
Good. Cool.

Speaker 1 They want to clarify the use of the helmet. The biggest thing I got.

Speaker 1 What was this background choice? It's band-aids.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, PowerPoint auto-generated some of them. I feel like this one fit because of injuries.

Speaker 1 The biggest thing with use to the helmet is helmet to helmet is obviously what we know, but you can get penalized for a helmet to any part of an opponent's body.

Speaker 1 So if you look at this next slide, you see those two examples I pointed out. They're not technically helmet to helmet.
But if you use your helmet as a weapon. Correct.

Speaker 3 All right, so maybe I'm naive here, Jason.

Speaker 1 It could be something that's not a good idea. But so we're looking to see a lot more might be.

Speaker 3 You can penalize every single play. You could find something that a defensive player does.

Speaker 1 It could result in a bigger gray area. What about running backs?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Fuck.

Speaker 3 Can't do it.

Speaker 1 Hank, the total is 50 and a half. Give me a winning score for your over

Speaker 3 25,

Speaker 1 Nice. That's good.
Good job. All right.
Yeah, so we'll see. But yeah, you guys are right.
Like, your helmet's used in almost every play. Yeah, okay, this is going to be a disaster.
How they call this.

Speaker 1 But it's just a point of emphasis for the season.

Speaker 1 Tripping is now a personal foul 15-yard penalty. I'm not exactly sure what it was before, but it wasn't this.
So now it's even worse.

Speaker 3 Was tripping 10 yards?

Speaker 1 It might have been 10 yards before. It doesn't happen often, but okay.
Yeah, the first thing that comes to mind is that Jets coach against the Dolphins. Oh, on the sidelines?

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, old heads would know Mike Tomman, although he didn't fully trip, he stood in the way.

Speaker 3 He tried to trip.

Speaker 1 Kobe Jones.

Speaker 3 What about when Aaron Rodgers takes his teammates down to Costa Rica? Ah, I see what you did there. Nice.
Tripping.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Now you're tripping, Jake.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Jake's not familiar with that. No, he's not.
No.

Speaker 1 You guys have talked about this a little bit.

Speaker 1 The new jersey number categories.

Speaker 1 You may think, oh, Teddy Bridgewater wore 50. Preseason, apparently you're allowed to wear whatever you want.
Okay. So regular season,

Speaker 1 zero is obviously in play and a few other changes. Okay, this actually makes sense.
So linemen are 50 to 79. Defensive linemen, 50 to 79, 90 to 99.
They kept it. I like this.

Speaker 1 Quarterback wearing zero would be legendary. I don't know if anyone is

Speaker 1 out of the olive shed.

Speaker 4 No, but that'd be badass.

Speaker 3 A kicker wearing zero would be terrible.

Speaker 1 Worst running back number, 47.

Speaker 1 That would be a pretty bad running back number. That seems like fullback.
That is, yeah.

Speaker 3 That's like like each back, I think.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
And these are the last two rules of note that I thought were important.

Speaker 1 If you're penalized on the last play of a half, the offense doesn't get the benefit of replaying the down. Okay.

Speaker 1 Yep. Okay.
That's lame.

Speaker 1 Hail Mary's.

Speaker 4 They're fun.

Speaker 1 And then lastly, I really think this is a good one. It's the Brock Purdy rule.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Teams will now be allowed to carry an emergency third quarterback on the active game day roster that's not part of the 53-man. That's why Nathan Peterman got dropped out.

Speaker 4 It's like the goalies and the stands.

Speaker 1 Yeah, pretty much, Hank. So, like, the Patriots, for example, they could be doing this.

Speaker 1 They only need to have Mac Jones on the 53-man and just have a game day quarterback as the backup. You guys got Matt Corell, I think.
Yeah, yeah, and Mike Cunningham.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so Matt Corral, he might not have to be on the 53-man.

Speaker 1 He can just be the game day.

Speaker 3 Do the Patriots have too many good quarterbacks?

Speaker 1 Some are asking. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So those are your rule changes.

Speaker 1 Okay. Thanks, Jake.
Very cool. Good job.
Good job. I had your part built in.
Yeah, we did my part. Hank passed the test.

Speaker 3 That was pretty cool, Jake. I don't know if it wasn't very cool.
It's pretty cool.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, it's rules. It can't be very cool.

Speaker 1 No, but it's good because there's a couple nuggets that you need to sound smart when someone's like, hey, why are they challenging this failed fourth down?

Speaker 3 Pretty much what they did was they gave the NFL refs the opportunity to throw a flag on any play that they want to throw a flag on for the helmet thing.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 3 Okay. so just heads up.
That's that's major NFL rigged vibes right there.

Speaker 1 Hank, 27 plus 15. 42.
I didn't know that one. Yeah, that was good.
That was a barbarium. That was a SWAMI score right there.
Hank, I think you're ready for NFL season. Fuck it.
You are. It feels good.

Speaker 1 I'm excited. Three touchdowns, two extra points, and a field goal.

Speaker 1 Three touchdowns. There it is.

Speaker 3 He's ready. 57 plus 24.

Speaker 4 71.

Speaker 3 That's probably right.

Speaker 1 No, it's 81.

Speaker 1 81.

Speaker 1 That's a big 12.

Speaker 1 That's not NFL. Okay.
Good job, Jake. Thanks.
Now, the third and final part of our presentation, we have 10 guys. This was kind of spoiled by Jerry O'Connell.
Yeah, we're the giants.

Speaker 1 But Darren Waller, for those listening,

Speaker 1 Raiders. Tune into Jerry's fantasy preview.
Darren Waller is a very important piece in his draft. Would you guys have known this before this morning? Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.
It gets a little harder. Okay.

Speaker 1 Memes approved all of them. Okay.
All right. That was nice.

Speaker 1 I have cool animations.

Speaker 3 That was throwing memes under the bus just in case. Yeah, just in case.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, it was. Memes approved all of them.

Speaker 3 In case you have an issue with it, this also went through memes.

Speaker 1 And I noticed memes wasn't on the title card. Nope.

Speaker 1 That should have been. That's

Speaker 1 on me.

Speaker 1 Miles Sanders. Miles Sanders is on

Speaker 1 the.

Speaker 1 No, I know this. Fuck.

Speaker 3 I don't know this. I'm going to guess.
Is he on the Lions? No. No.

Speaker 3 They got Taylor Swift.

Speaker 1 Yeah, fuck.

Speaker 3 He's on the Panthers, Jake.

Speaker 1 Yes, let's go.

Speaker 1 Panthers. All right.
Okay. So you got PFT is two for two.
Leader in the club. We're doing scores?

Speaker 1 No, thank you. No, Jake's right.
All right. We don't have to.
No, no, we are. Okay.
That's fun.

Speaker 1 Alan Robinson. Saints.

Speaker 3 I'm going to go with the Browns.

Speaker 1 Alan Robinson. Where is he? Oh, I don't know.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 Texans.

Speaker 1 Steelers.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, no, Jake, that's Allen Robinson II that you put up there.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I now remember Jersey Jerry being like, Allen Robinson's a beast. I was like, yeah, like four years ago.
Yeah, okay. All right.
Number four, Gardner Minscher.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he is a cult. Yes, he is.

Speaker 3 Our favorite team. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 Yep. Okay.

Speaker 1 Kicker, Brandon McManus. Oh, man.
He was on the Broncos for a long time.

Speaker 1 I think it's the Saints.

Speaker 1 I think he's on the Saints.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Will Lutz. Yeah.
Fitting for a Jerry O'Connell episode that we talked kickers for fantasy perspective. No one takes a kicker to the last round.

Speaker 1 Except for Just Tucker. He's the kicker of the Jaguars.
He might be relevant this season. Okay.

Speaker 3 Not on the Titans, that's all.

Speaker 1 Okay. They don't have to.
Jared Stidham. We're failing this.

Speaker 4 Well, he actually is on the Saints.

Speaker 1 Jared Stiddam is? Yeah. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because I remember we were watching a.

Speaker 3 I don't think he is on the Saints, Hank.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 3 You just said that with such confidence.

Speaker 1 Is he on the

Speaker 1 Sexant? No.

Speaker 3 Stidham is Texas.

Speaker 1 I think he's on the Broncos. Oh, yeah, he's on the Broncos.
Okay, cool. Okay, Jared Siddharth's on the Broncos.
These are very hard. Sorry.
No, that's okay. It was memes' fault.
No.

Speaker 1 You said that.

Speaker 1 Nelson Aguilar. Didn't he just get Raiders? Did he just get signed to the Saints? Let's not view this as a trivia.
Let's just view it as informational. Okay.
Well, no, you started keeping scores.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was stupid off.

Speaker 3 I don't like this show. You're taking the competition out.
Everyone gets a trophy?

Speaker 4 I think it's the Saints.

Speaker 1 Come on. What team is he on? He's a Raven.
Oh.

Speaker 3 The Ravens just went and got every receiver this year, huh?

Speaker 1 All right, three more. Dalton Schultz.

Speaker 3 Isn't he on the Bills? No, that's Dalton Kincaid.

Speaker 3 Cardinals.

Speaker 1 Texans. Texans, great.
Mike Gasicki.

Speaker 1 Oh, he's. I remember.
No, I don't. We talked about this in the last episode.

Speaker 1 Yeah, for him playing for

Speaker 1 the Packers.

Speaker 1 Hank, he's your tight end. Oh, there you go, man.

Speaker 1 Huge. All right, last one.

Speaker 1 Running back Devin Singletary from the Bills to

Speaker 3 Saints.

Speaker 1 Gotta be the Saints. I'm just guessing Texans.
Big Cat got it. Yeah! Texans.
My strategy of guessing Texans for every player worked. Take who won.
I think me and Big Cat tied. I think we tied.

Speaker 1 The listeners lost. Yeah.
And then the final slide. Reminders for reminders coming up.
Oh, this is big. Okay, read them all.

Speaker 1 So right now we have Remind Big Cat and PFT to take Patrick Mahomes to win the AFC West. Done.
Should we take him? Okay, yeah, I'm going to do it. All right.

Speaker 1 Patrick Mahomes, Chiefs to win the AFC West. And then the following are all week one reminders.
Colts haven't won in nine straight week ones. Okay.
Fade the Chargers in week one. Yep.

Speaker 1 Disregard all your week one reminders.

Speaker 3 Okay. Okay.

Speaker 1 PFT, don't believe in Carson Wentz if he starts. Okay,

Speaker 1 and then if a bad team is good after the first three weeks, just wait. Okay.

Speaker 3 But also, disregard all of them.

Speaker 4 Wouldn't that be a week three reminder?

Speaker 1 Yeah, disregard all of these. Yeah, yeah.
I just had it. Yeah.
Okay. And thank you for your time.
Okay, great job.

Speaker 3 The graphic on this last slide is just the dimensions are all wrong.

Speaker 1 Distorted as possible. Stretched it out.
Yes. But yeah, there you have it.
Charming graphic. Thank you very much, Jake.

Speaker 1 Great job. Very cool, Jake.
Thank you. Very cool.

Speaker 1 Okay, that felt good. I feel like we're ready to go.
I'm back.

Speaker 3 My body is ready for football.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 3 It's so ready. It's so ready.
I just want football inside me.

Speaker 1 What else do we have? Anything else of note that we need to talk about? There was that awesome Port-a-Potty fight, the chicks at the Morgan Wall.

Speaker 3 That was pretty good. I saw the video and I was like, Morgan Wallen concert.
Yeah. You knew right off the bat.

Speaker 1 That was awesome. It was straight, like, Monday Night Raw.

Speaker 3 I don't think there were any fights at the Taylor Swift concerts. No.

Speaker 1 Well, it was probably just passive-aggressive, like, bitchiness.

Speaker 3 I think all of them had just broken up with their boyfriends, and they were just all crying together. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Oh, shout out to Alec Ingold.

Speaker 3 Yes. Alec Ingold got paid today

Speaker 3 on a fullback sliding scale, but $17 million, not bad for a fullback.

Speaker 1 That's pretty damn good.

Speaker 1 I also was saying,

Speaker 1 we talked about Ronald Ocuna the other day because of the fans, and it dawned on me that Ronald's just a weird name. Ronnie.
We just don't even think about it. Like, he's the best player in baseball.

Speaker 1 His name is Ronald.

Speaker 3 His name should be Ronnie.

Speaker 1 Ronnie.

Speaker 1 Ronald. Oh, and Cooper Cup got hurt again.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 1 The Rams are going to be the worst team in the league. I don't think they're going to be the worst.

Speaker 3 I have a new proprietary betting strategy for this year.

Speaker 1 It's hot. Okay.

Speaker 3 Just fade the Cardinals. Fade the Cardinals.
I don't believe their head coach. I don't believe.
I don't believe. Pew pew-pew explosives.
Explosives. He did like the fire-up speech for the guys.

Speaker 3 You know how Salah did the Crow versus the Eagle thing?

Speaker 3 His speech was just looking around the room being like, who here took the bus to get here?

Speaker 3 Well, you better light a fire if you don't have that fire because we're here to do one thing, and that's win football games.

Speaker 3 And I was like, fuck this guy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm out. Yeah.
He's...

Speaker 1 Yeah, I like that. Fade the Cardinals and the Rams.
Yep. Big time.
Center around.

Speaker 3 I'm glad that they play each other.

Speaker 1 Because it happens ties twice.

Speaker 3 Okay, tie, tie, tie, tie. You can get some juicy odds on ties.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can. I also had one of the other.

Speaker 3 Jake, actually, can you remind us to bet ties when the Cardinals and Rams play each other?

Speaker 1 Thank you. I did a meet and greet at Mariano's this morning for Stella Blue.
It was great seeing people come by.

Speaker 1 One person asked me a question that I have to, that's just been in my head the entire time. He said that he and his friends are having this debate.
Jake, do you put deodorant on your socks? No. Okay.

Speaker 1 He explained it to me.

Speaker 1 He's like, I feel like Jake's the type of guy like when he goes out and golfs like we'll have like a deodorant stick for his socks to keep him not smelly i mean sometimes keep a stick in my golf bag okay but he when he explained it to me i was like yeah i think jake does do that and okay i'm bugging me all down i've seen old dudes like spray their shoes yeah i don't know what's in those yeah i don't know what's in those either because nothing works nothing works on feet no either you got smelly feet or you don't yeah feet all right confirmed uh not putting deodorant on your socks that feels good right jake get that out out?

Speaker 1 Yeah, do not. Because the rumor does not.

Speaker 1 People were buzzing about it. I'm raising my hand.
You do?

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 I have something. Oh, you're asking for permission to get away from me.
Yeah, I'm asking for permission. Permission granted.
Team's the most awkward

Speaker 1 interruption.

Speaker 1 So as you were talking about Ronald Cune, he hit a home run. Oh, whoa.
Okay. Ronald.
Who's a whoa, that's Ronald. Whose team is he on? He's on mine.
Oh, okay. So that's how you know.

Speaker 1 I have a,

Speaker 3 you think. Yeah.

Speaker 3 So a story just came out two days ago that it turns out that the government of Qatar paid $300 million in bribes to the FIFA hosting committee what it just you know what when you think you know a guy like the emir he was a great host I didn't think he would stoop to this level this is crazy I thought that the the World Cup that was hosted in a in a country where it's 120 degrees in the summer I thought that that was done on the up and up but it turns out uh yeah they they paid this is actually a pretty sweet gig to be on on the board of FIFA on the committee that decides where to put the world cup yeah there were 22 people that split 350 million dollars allegedly that's awesome pretty cool and i don't think it's against the law to bribe like a soccer organization right

Speaker 3 what laws could advise maybe tax

Speaker 3 laws but in terms of like if if if they're not a government official that you're giving money to avoid persecution like right you can bribe anybody right and it was like a whoa that's that's crazy moment for me to realize that bribing people is actually very legal to do.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 You just can't do it to like a cop.

Speaker 1 We should try to get involved in the next World Cup. Yeah.

Speaker 3 We'll host it in the new Chicago office. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Everyone get, I mean, we'll be done by 2028. Yeah.
So we'll be good. Pete.

Speaker 1 Oh, I had one last thing. Breaking moose.

Speaker 1 Adam Schefter reported earlier today.

Speaker 1 Breaking moose. TJ Hawkinson's ear infection and back pain, which limited his practice time this summer, feels much better today.

Speaker 3 Because he got paid. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So no more ear infection. That's good.
One of the funniest breaking news is he's like,

Speaker 1 it reads like sending in a report to like your teacher for your kids. Like, yeah, he's feeling flu is gone.
Feeling a lot better. He'll be back at school tomorrow.

Speaker 3 He spent all day getting fluids on the couch. Watching prices right.
So, yeah, congrats to TJ Hawkinson on his ear being good.

Speaker 1 Feels much better. That was one.
We love Schefter. We give him shit.
That was 100% a text from an agent.

Speaker 3 I actually think that the way that he was trying to phrase it was like, all that money makes his ear feel better. Feel much better.
I don't think it was him just being like, good news, T.J.

Speaker 3 Hawkinson's ear isn't leaking anymore. It feels much better.
I think it was like money cures everything. Oh, he's being cute.

Speaker 1 He's being cute with it. I don't like it when he gets cute.

Speaker 3 He got cute with it, yeah.

Speaker 1 He's a robot. He needs to be a robot.

Speaker 3 But he's a cute robot. He is.
He's a very cute robot.

Speaker 1 He wants to just poop him.

Speaker 3 Yeah, with the Hawkinson news,

Speaker 3 I get the vibe from a lot of Vikings fans that they're kind of halfway in, halfway out on that because they're pissed off about the ear infection thing. Yeah.

Speaker 3 They're like, he's probably going to ask us for another contract in the next year.

Speaker 1 But it's feeling much better.

Speaker 3 It's better now. Yeah, it's better now.

Speaker 1 The money, you just, you just dry it up, dry up all the fluid in your ear with some money.

Speaker 3 It would be very funny if you sat out week one. Man, I'll tell you what.

Speaker 1 When you're hungry out there, you start acting like a rookie quarterback in his first game, making bad decisions, messing up the basics, being all out of sorts. That's where Snickers comes in, man.

Speaker 1 That thing is packed. Roasted peanuts, nugget, caramel, milk, chocolate.
It's like the MVP of candy bars.

Speaker 1 And when you bite into it, boom, it sorts you out, gets your head back in the game of life, satisfying your hunger. Remember this: Snickers handles your hunger so you can handle everything else.

Speaker 1 Snickers satisfies, man. That's a winning play.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on one of our favorite guests in the entire world.

Speaker 1 This man, Jerry O'Connell. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I texted him last week and I said, Jerry, the people need JOC's fantasy preview, as is tradition. And I said, can you do Thursday at 10.30 via Zoom? And you just replied, no, I'll just fly out.

Speaker 1 So Jerry. is such a beloved guest and such a good friend.
AWL. AWL.
He took a red eye from California. He then went to Planet Fitness to get a lift in and a quick shower.
Right.

Speaker 1 I had to go number two. He had to go number two.

Speaker 3 $10 a month. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's it. Pretty good deal.
That's why I joined there. You paid free pizza.
Came to the studio and is going to fly back to LA at four o'clock today.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Now, my first question is.
Sure. Would you have done all this if you didn't make the Mount Rush Morv guests? Ah, that's such a good question.

Speaker 1 That was a real honor. I really have to say it was a real honor.
I was listening last week to your show and Tony Scheffler. Who did you have on? Tony Scheffler, yes.

Speaker 1 Tony Scheffler, and he was so offended that he wasn't on the Mount Rushmore. And I got to tell you, I was listening.
I was

Speaker 1 on the Stair Machine at my PF at my Planet Fitness.

Speaker 1 This is not, I'm not sponsored by them at all. I just like to work out there because it's so cheap.

Speaker 3 It's great. It's a good business model, too.
It's like, don't work out too hard. So that way you keep coming back.

Speaker 1 Here's pizza rolls while you work out. No, let me tell you really why I like, I can't believe we're plugging them so much.

Speaker 1 I'm not sponsored in any way.

Speaker 1 I'm starting to think you are sponsored. No, I'm not.
But I'm going to tell you why I'm not sponsored. Because Planet Fitness is

Speaker 1 a little rough around the edges, especially if you have to change or use locker rooms.

Speaker 1 Or like a lot of times you'll get on a bench at Planet Fitness and a large man will come up and immediately go, oh,

Speaker 1 how many more you got?

Speaker 1 How many more do you have? And it's just, it's very aggressive there. So you always have to be either lifting or acting like you're about to lift.

Speaker 1 And I really think it helps me keep my edge working out of Planet Fitness. I'm ready for anything.

Speaker 3 So it's, yeah, it's kind of like prison

Speaker 3 with

Speaker 3 better pads on the

Speaker 3 Nautilus machine.

Speaker 1 I was a member of a gym that is

Speaker 1 infinitely more expensive, outrageously expensive, and it rhymes with Equinox. And

Speaker 1 why am I paying?

Speaker 1 I don't want a towel. Like, I'm not going to towel myself.
Like,

Speaker 1 I'm not going to use eight towels. This isn't worth it.
I'd rather just bring my, you know, Snoopy towel in my bag, in my like duffel bag, and do it Rocky style. You know,

Speaker 1 did Rocky use fresh towels? I don't think so.

Speaker 3 Not the one where he was training in a cabin at least.

Speaker 3 I recently became a member of a gym where they have like two bars that you have to walk past to get to the actual working machines.

Speaker 1 You mean that serve alcohol,

Speaker 3 not like squat bars. No, I'm talking like alcohol.
Like you have to you have to pass up alcohol and a full restaurant. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I mean, it's a good business model, though. Just make people think that

Speaker 3 they're at a nightclub.

Speaker 1 I worked out at a gym where they had a smoothie bar, and I'd always get a smoothie and say, oh, put some energy in there, put some creatine in there.

Speaker 1 And then I got really fat working out there because I was like having a thousand calorie shake. You're like Michael Phelps.

Speaker 3 And only burning off like 200 calories walking uphill for 30 minutes and then drinking a 3000 calorie like

Speaker 1 yes wait so so it didn't work out but i'm gonna get back to the awl um uh back back to the mount rush more um

Speaker 1 it uh it it really was a it it's it's a really high honor i i mean that from the bottom of my heart no no joking no shade it really uh

Speaker 1 i i've i i've known you guys for years i've been fans i think what you do is um

Speaker 1 uh just a lot of fun i listen to you all the time and i i wanted to

Speaker 1 full disclosure, I thought I was coming to Chicago to see the new studios that you keep.

Speaker 1 I told you many times that it's not open yet, but we will and this see it. I walked in here, and I mean, no offense to you or to Barstool or to Business Pete, but

Speaker 1 this is a shit. This is a shithole.
It's not great right now. I also should say, because I want to hear this.

Speaker 4 Wait till someone upstairs takes a shit.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, you'll hear the flush.

Speaker 3 I warned Jerry that this is the only functional podcast studio, I think, in America that has toilet sound effects built into it.

Speaker 1 Yes, you'll hear that. So

Speaker 1 you're such a good friend. You also came.
We had a Stella Blue meet and greet at Mariano's this morning. Mariano's is a grocer, a local grocer here in Chicago.
Fancy. Yep.
And we now have Stella Blue

Speaker 1 in their stores. So Jerry came by, and I want...

Speaker 1 One story from Jerry there. He was true Jerry.
He is the same off-camera, on-camera. One guy came up to us, and he was like, hey, can you do a shout-out for

Speaker 1 my intramural basketball team, Brick Layers Nation? Yeah. And he was like, I want, we have an Instagram account.
Can you do a shout out? So Jerry and I did a shout out for this guy.

Speaker 1 And as the guy was walking away, Jerry just said, make sure you tag me in that. So I was like, this is Jerry.
But you also started to tell a story that I said, stop, save it for the show.

Speaker 1 You were in a meeting and being in AWL

Speaker 1 helped you. This is so crazy.

Speaker 1 So there's a writer. There's an actor strike.
All of Hollywood is striking. Another reason why I came is because I'm married to an actress also.
Supermodel. Rebecca Romain.

Speaker 1 Look it up. I've heard of it.

Speaker 1 And we're both on strike. So we're,

Speaker 1 how do I say this? We're, I'm not having a Mitch McConnell moment.

Speaker 1 No, we're not scabs. No.
We're not working. So we're like, we have to be with each other all the time.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 my wife is very busy, works a lot. And now my wife isn't.
And so I just, I, I, I, when you said, let's do the podcast, we can do it over Zoom, you can stay home. I was like, you know, Mr.

Speaker 1 Cat, please let me get me out of here. I have to come to Chicago.
And like, there was other family members in front of me. And Big Cat was like, um, no, no, no, you can just Zoom.

Speaker 1 And I was like, no, no, no, you need me in Chicago to come to the temporary shithole offices of Barstool.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I just had to get the fuck out of there. I really did.

Speaker 1 It's crazy. It's like the pandemic all over again.
Love my unions. Love SAG.
Love WGA, Union Strong. We stand with you.

Speaker 3 We are going to take your voice from this interview and just AI it, and then we can interview AI, Jerry.

Speaker 1 We never have to have you on again. Yeah.
But what was the story you were going to tell me?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. So I.

Speaker 1 It's been like a strike, and I haven't

Speaker 1 been drawing a salary.

Speaker 1 I haven't been getting paid. No one has been.
It's uh, we're union strong, right? And um,

Speaker 1 my agent called me, which rarely happens, especially these days, and said, Um,

Speaker 1 uh, the president of this company wants to meet with you, and it's a big company. I'm not going to say, because it's a company, it's a real company.

Speaker 1 And it sounds real, yeah. No,

Speaker 1 it is. I swear, I'll, I'll tell you, I'll tell you off mic.
I just don't want to put him on blast because he's like a boss, and I don't

Speaker 1 get a company. A real company.
A very real company. Is it Elon

Speaker 1 that Elon wants a baseline? It's an insanely real company.

Speaker 1 You'd be shocked how real company company is. It's an entertainment company.

Speaker 1 It's a real company.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I thought my agents made a mistake. You know, typically they call me.
They're like, hey,

Speaker 1 hey, Ryan Reynolds dropped out of this Stella Blue thing at

Speaker 1 Marianos. Can you pop in there? We said Jerry's good for it.

Speaker 1 It's no one cold, no one cold calls me. You know what I'm saying? And I was like,

Speaker 1 they said, are you available? And I was like, yeah, fuck yeah.

Speaker 1 Get me out of here. Yes, I'm available.
So I,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 got a blowout. I went to this meeting.

Speaker 1 Walk into the meeting, waiting in the waiting room, meet the president, the boss.

Speaker 1 Get a fancy water, sit down,

Speaker 1 comes in the room. Hey, I'm expecting he's going to say, I got the show.
I've got this thing. I really want to attach you to it.
I've had my eye on you all these years.

Speaker 1 You know, ever since Kangaroo Jack, I knew it was you.

Speaker 1 And here we are.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I'm sitting in there and he sits down and he says, Hey,

Speaker 1 I called you in here because I'm an AWL.

Speaker 1 I have so many questions about

Speaker 1 PMT.

Speaker 1 And we talked about PMT for, I mean, it was supposed to be a half-hour meeting. It ended up being close to two hours.

Speaker 1 And it's funny. At first, I was a little like, oh, shit.
I thought my talent got me in this room. But no, it's just been, it's been you guys, really.

Speaker 1 So I did want to say thank you. And also, like, getting back to the whole thing about, you know, being

Speaker 1 a Mount Rushmore guest, it really has had a very positive effect on my life it's pretty cool to hear that Bob Iger's that big of a fellow I was

Speaker 3 that's awesome did he ask you any fantasy football questions

Speaker 1 um you know what uh this particular guy I don't think I'll get in trouble for saying this is a huge

Speaker 1 Eagles fan oh so uh does he want to advertise on the show did you try to sell some ads uh I

Speaker 1 didn't sell some ads I mean I realize you guys are ad-based now that uh the gaming stuff is not there now But

Speaker 1 I mean, I'll be on the lookout now.

Speaker 1 I did sell some coffee today.

Speaker 1 You did. I watched that happen.
Go to a local grocer and sold some coffee. So, yeah, no, I'm willing to help some add revenue.

Speaker 3 When Penn owned us, we were not allowed to do...

Speaker 3 I mean, we could do mostly anything, but obviously you can't tie in sex and alcohol and drug use.

Speaker 3 And those were Jerry's big three that he would always bring up when he was talking about gambling.

Speaker 1 We had to cut

Speaker 1 interviews.

Speaker 3 If you thought that Jerry was a great guest before, now you're getting uncut Jerry O'Connell. I was so bummed.

Speaker 1 That whole fisting, I went on for like an hour about that fisting thing.

Speaker 1 And then I listened to the show and it was gone.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Jerry and his buddies, every year they have a fisting fancy football league where the loser gets fisted by the other 11.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and you just like cut it out.

Speaker 1 So.

Speaker 1 Well, I can save that story for this episode. Yeah, for this episode.

Speaker 3 We are glad to have you, Jerry.

Speaker 3 We do miss you when you're not around.

Speaker 3 I feel like we know so much about you because you've been on the show a lot. But before you came in, I looked up Jerry O'Connell trivia on the way in.
Oh, this is gonna be good.

Speaker 3 And so, I was wondering if you would like to play some Jerry O'Connell trivia about yourself. Sure, yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 3 who was your across-the-street neighbor when you lived in Chelsea?

Speaker 1 Oh, um,

Speaker 1 uh, um,

Speaker 1 Inconceivable Wallace Sean. Yep, there you go.
Inconceivable. Remember Princess Bride? Yes.
Yes. Um, uh, that guy lived across the street from the apartment that I grew up in,

Speaker 1 the street I grew up on. And

Speaker 1 as kids,

Speaker 1 we were really cool with him. We didn't blow him up or anything.
Every time we saw him, we would yell, inconceivable, inconceivable. I'm sure he loves that.
He was into it. He was into it.

Speaker 1 I could tell he was like, oh, man, that's so cool that I've been acting my entire life and I'm known as the inconceivable guy. A bunch of kids yelling at me.

Speaker 3 You know, that guy actually, he lived upstairs from me when I lived in Charlottesville for like a year.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 3 we're neighbor buddies.

Speaker 1 Is he still alive?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I believe he's still alive. Yeah.
We'll check that.

Speaker 1 He's still alive. Again, I'll check that.
I'll double check.

Speaker 3 What were you ranked at your highest when you were a college fencer?

Speaker 1 17th.

Speaker 3 17th in the nation?

Speaker 1 In the nation, nationally.

Speaker 3 Hell yeah. That's pretty good.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You know, it was a big bummer.
I missed top 10, which makes you all American. And still, it hurts a little bit.
It hurts. Wallace's still alive.
Okay, great. Yeah, I told you.

Speaker 1 Huge.

Speaker 3 So, your daughter is a Cowboys fan. Is that true? How have we not talked about this yet?

Speaker 1 How did that happen? No,

Speaker 1 my daughters, I was really trying to, when they were younger, when they were like

Speaker 1 Mr. Katz kids' ages, I was trying to get them into the NFL because I've talked about it on the show before.

Speaker 1 It's such a struggle watching football in my house.

Speaker 1 It is

Speaker 1 someone I live with hates

Speaker 1 professional football, and it's very difficult because Sundays are typically family days. And I've said before, I only get two quarters of football a week.
And

Speaker 1 I'm hoping now that, you know, we're on strike and we're all home together. I can maybe get

Speaker 1 two and a half, maybe three quarters of football this season. Which you are, by the way, we'll say this right now.

Speaker 1 When we do open the new office, we're going to find a Sunday that Jerry is going to watch all the games with us

Speaker 1 and do a show with us afterwards. You're going to do Bermans with us.
You're going to do everything. It's like my, oh, man.
It's like my wake-up. It's like my make-a-wish.
Yes.

Speaker 1 It literally is like

Speaker 1 my make-a-wish.

Speaker 3 It's going to be Jerry's special day.

Speaker 1 It's,

Speaker 1 I just, I still can't believe

Speaker 1 you guys get paid to basically watch football all day Sunday and then

Speaker 1 talk about it for 16, 17 weeks. It's just, it's, it's just a dream.
Um, that said, you know, another reason why I wanted to come here, getting back to originally why I wanted to fly out, um,

Speaker 1 it's a, it's a big move that you guys made, and I was interested in it. I work in media and in showbiz and you got to be in New York or in LA.

Speaker 1 And you guys

Speaker 1 actively moved here, and I, I'm intrigued by it. I, I, I, I, I, I was intrigued by it.

Speaker 1 Once you see the space, the new office, which I might even drive you down there and we could take a look at it after this.

Speaker 1 Let me ask you

Speaker 1 with interviews, is it over Zoom? Does something get lost? Yes.

Speaker 3 For a first-time guest, usually. First-time guests.

Speaker 3 If it's somebody like you that we've had on before, and then you want to zoom in from your Planet Fitness while you're getting your sets in, I think that's what you did last year.

Speaker 1 Last year, yeah. Went in there.

Speaker 3 That's fine. That's good.

Speaker 1 Wi-Fi's not that great at Planet Fitness. A lot of people use it to upload and download download stuff.

Speaker 1 So it's just very spotty Wi-Fi. But PFT is right.
If it's someone we know and they have a good connection, I don't think anything gets lost.

Speaker 1 Like we had Dan Patrick, which we're going to run next week. It was a phenomenal interview.
Yeah. Because he had great Wi-Fi.
Sure. He was in his studio.
He's in his studio. We know him.

Speaker 1 I'm not a Planet Fitness. Yeah, we know him.
We have rapport with him. So those type of guests, like some of our favorite guests are guests that we have on via Zoom and they always deliver.

Speaker 1 And it's funny.

Speaker 1 I was just in Minneapolis last week, and

Speaker 1 it's funny. Sports are different.

Speaker 1 Sports are different when you're not on the coasts, you know. And listen, I'm from New York.
I'm a huge New York fan. Like, we love our sports, you know.

Speaker 1 But it's

Speaker 3 totally flushing. Yeah.
Somebody just took a shit.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. I can't believe it.

Speaker 1 It was definitely that young lady who I just met. I'm not kidding.
I'm not kidding because

Speaker 1 you have to take a key. And I went to the restroom.

Speaker 1 I offered you my sink. Yeah, I'm not going to the restroom in a sink.
I offered you my sink. I'm going to go work, especially where there's live twitches going on all the time.

Speaker 1 The last thing I need is

Speaker 1 me getting

Speaker 1 jaked and everyone's seeing my thing in high school.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was definitely that young lady who I met out there.

Speaker 1 I won't say her name because I saw her like wait, eyeing the key. God, that's so embarrassing.
Yeah. You could tell.
That's a big one,

Speaker 3 You can hear the turds hitting the sides of the pipe.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was really crazy. God, I lost my train of thought.
Um, that really threw me. Um, well, I'll pick up where you were kind of going, yeah.
Uh,

Speaker 1 and we'll start the fantasy preview. How are you feeling about the Jets this year? It's a big year.
Um, you know, what's funny?

Speaker 1 I've been watching hard knocks, and it's funny when I started to watch hard knocks, I was sort of not into it. Um,

Speaker 1 first of all, I wasn't into it because fuck, that's another toilet

Speaker 3 That was a double flusher. That was the second flush, same person.

Speaker 1 How does Business Pete have a job?

Speaker 1 It's great. I mean, I can't believe you complained about street noise for all those years.
Seven years. And now this is actual shit.
This is like shit noise.

Speaker 1 It's not even like, oh, the pipes make noise. It's like the shit.
He tests us.

Speaker 3 He's testing us. He's doing this on purpose.

Speaker 1 Why would you have a studio where shit is

Speaker 1 moving? I don't, it's a good question.

Speaker 3 Yeah, this is, we're playing podcasting on expert mode right now. They're just, they're turning up the difficulty.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.
I was going to talk about hard knocks. Fuck, it's so tough to, I just got off a red eye.

Speaker 1 Okay. Um,

Speaker 1 I had some issues with hard knocks. First of all,

Speaker 1 is this is someone flushing that on purpose?

Speaker 1 Is that chick, did she just have a triple flusher?

Speaker 1 You, you know who i'm talking about right don't don't say anyone's name because that's like hr stuff but like

Speaker 1 she had

Speaker 1 a hr anymore

Speaker 1 um oh god hr is uh

Speaker 1 hr is hank great um um

Speaker 1 uh that first speech that robert salah had um you know that's the that's the opening to hard knocks and so robert salah comes out good-looking guy and he says uh

Speaker 1 let me tell you something about eagles

Speaker 1 and i was like oh God, he's making an Eagles reference. Like, I don't know if that's really appropriate.

Speaker 1 Let me tell you something about Eagles. When they get attacked by crows, and I was like, oh, fuck, the Jets are the crows.
Yes. The Jets are just going to fucking peck the Eagles.

Speaker 1 And we're just going to keep pecking. And the Jets are going to just keep pecking till they're at the fucking Super Bowl.
And he was like, an eagle flies up. And the crow dies.

Speaker 1 All right, let's get out there. And I was like, God, this, like, remember Dan Campbell's speech about dragging people out to the ocean? And we're going to fucking drown them.

Speaker 1 And he had a, he had a, he had a chaw in, and he was like, we're going to fucking drown them and we're going to pull them out there.

Speaker 1 And then when they come up for air, we're going to pull them back down. And that's what we're going to do to every team.
We're going to fucking drown them until their bodies are lifeless.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Let's go. Like, it was just so unmotivational.
And it really made me worried about the jets. Yeah, actually.

Speaker 3 It was something that, like, Billy Football would come up with as an animal fact at the end of a show.

Speaker 1 No, Billy football would have been more motivational, I think. Sorry.

Speaker 3 The crazy thing is, you're right. Like, the eagle should not be the eagle's not the underdog in the story.

Speaker 3 You're telling a story about a crow versus an eagle, and an eagle wins that fight 10 times out of 10. But the eagle's strategy is to fly up until the crow suffocates.
It doesn't even defeat the crow.

Speaker 3 The lack of oxygen defeats the crow. And then they fall.
I think we're crows in that metaphor.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're all crows. In life, we're crows.
We're crows. We're all crows.
We've just had fucking hardships. We'll never be eagles.
We don't have rich parents. We don't,

Speaker 1 no one is an eagle.

Speaker 1 What is that analogy he's making? I can't believe.

Speaker 1 Also, I mean, now I'm starting to wake up a little bit. I got some Stella Blue in me.
Fucking Nathaniel Hackett. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you what it is. I'm going to make an analogy as an actor, okay? As an actor,

Speaker 1 sometimes big stars, okay?

Speaker 1 When getting a director for a movie, say, hey, hire that director.

Speaker 1 I like that director. Like, he does what I tell him to do.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And the problem is, you don't get a director who comes in and goes, hey, Tom,

Speaker 1 I don't know. I think we should play this with a little more emotion.
And,

Speaker 1 you know, Tom is like, no, I'm going to play it how I'm playing it. Just go back to the monitor and let me act.

Speaker 1 Like, you need someone who is a superior, who said, who's critical. Right.
Because it makes you better. Right.
And the way it looks to me is that

Speaker 1 Aaron Rodgers, and this may not be a bad thing, maybe it'll be a good thing. You know, maybe you do want a guy like Aaron Rodgers running an offense, is just basically

Speaker 1 Nathaniel Hackett is there for Aaron Rodgers.

Speaker 3 Emotional support coach.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's just having a buddy there who, by the way, is

Speaker 1 I'm sorry, not

Speaker 1 like everyone's like, oh, he's fucking so funny. He's so funny.
I think he is. Nice guy.
I know he was on your show, and I understand that. I like that a bad word.
But I know, but like showing

Speaker 1 gold member.

Speaker 3 He's very into gold member.

Speaker 3 That's his favorite film of all time.

Speaker 1 I mean, I guess the gold zone was kind of cool. Yeah, but he's

Speaker 1 a. I mean, could you imagine if I just spoke in like Austin Powers-like scenes? Like, if I just came on your show and I was like,

Speaker 1 alrighty, then.

Speaker 1 He'd be like, get this fucking guy out of here. Wait, was that Austin Powers? Who Who knows? You know what I'm saying? Eck, ech, ech, ek, ekk.

Speaker 1 Gambling, if I just came in here and I was like, gambling is illegal at Bushwood, sir, and I never slice.

Speaker 1 That's caddyshack. Yeah, but I mean, it's just,

Speaker 3 you know, you know, Austin Powers was, he was British.

Speaker 1 Yeah, baby. Yeah, there you go.
That's it. That's it.
There it is. Um, so I was a little worried about that.
And, um, you know, it was funny.

Speaker 3 I, I, I do want to say that you're jealous of Mike Myers.

Speaker 1 That's what it sounds like to me. Um,

Speaker 1 um,

Speaker 1 another thing about hard knocks that

Speaker 1 it took a little bit of

Speaker 1 convincing of me is that typically hard knocks is about the crows, the people who are trying to get on the team, the people who are struggling to get on the team, the people who,

Speaker 1 I mean, remember how good,

Speaker 1 man, I think it was

Speaker 1 Giovanni Bernard when he was like,

Speaker 1 Honda Odyssey got everything you need. Remember Remember, he was pulling up in a Honda Odyssey, and it was like so fucking great.
And Honda Odyssey's got everything you need. I got a CD player.

Speaker 1 I got like everything. You know, and this was the Aaron show.
And at first,

Speaker 1 I wasn't used to it. But you know what? I will say,

Speaker 1 I do think Aaron Rodgers is a real star, and I do find him magnetic. And I do like watching him.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 I think he came across way better than a lot of people thought because for the longest time in Green Bay,

Speaker 3 he only gave interviews to select people that he would like handpick, and he developed a reputation for kind of being like an asshole, right? Yeah.

Speaker 3 And then we see him on hard knocks, and it's like, this is a guy that I might want to hang out with.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he seems friendly.

Speaker 3 People seem to like him.

Speaker 1 Oh, man, I got to tell you, in that first episode, when he was saying his Zach Wilson and I don't know his first name, Boyle, when he was like, Tim, every day, we're going to go out.

Speaker 1 We're going to make friends with someone on another team. We're going to go make, we're going to introduce ourselves to someone on the defense because we're leaders and that's what we do.

Speaker 1 I was really,

Speaker 1 I was inspired by that. I was like, wow, look at him.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 he's a lot of fun to watch. I still think they're only going to win eight games.
Sorry, Folks. Oh, man.

Speaker 3 Is this you reverse jinxing him, Jerry?

Speaker 1 I'm not reverse jinxing him.

Speaker 3 Are you afraid to believe? No, I just. Like, listen, me and Big Cat are fans of just disastrous franchises.
We're used to not having expectations, and we would be afraid to have expectations.

Speaker 3 So we know where you're coming from.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm a Jets fan. I've seen this.

Speaker 1 But it's okay to believe, Brett Favre. You just don't believe so hard that then you turn around and you're like, I feel bad for you guys, like Billy did to us last year when the Jets won.

Speaker 1 You should believe.

Speaker 3 You should believe.

Speaker 3 As a Jets fan, you get maybe one of these seasons every 10 years where you're allowed to be like,

Speaker 3 I think that we can do something magical. And I want you to allow yourself to really explore that part of your brain.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Lean into it. I'm right now in a very emotionally vulnerable spot with Justin Fields because I all the way believe.
Right.

Speaker 1 And I know deep down there's a chance that something doesn't go well and then I'll be crushed. Right.
But it's the belief is fun. Right.

Speaker 1 Well, we're going to talk about Justin Fields. Okay.
All right. Yeah.
So let's, yeah.

Speaker 1 You got your suitcase?

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So this is all you brought on the plane. This is it.

Speaker 1 Let's get down to business. What's in it? Ritz crackers?

Speaker 1 No, I have the

Speaker 1 guitar

Speaker 1 on the plane.

Speaker 3 You're hardcore, Jerry.

Speaker 1 Oh, check out these shorts. Yeah.
Oh, I like that.

Speaker 1 What are those? Oh, those are my Louis Vuitton Yankee shorts that

Speaker 1 smell a little bit like the Planet Fitness locker room. Okay.
Here we are.

Speaker 1 I had a great briefcase.

Speaker 1 This is what he brought to work today. I love it.

Speaker 1 I told my wife I was going to do some business.

Speaker 1 I only need one pair of shorts.

Speaker 3 Jerry's getting on board a plane carrying old school briefcase. Everyone's like, that guy's about to go close some deals.

Speaker 1 Look at him.

Speaker 3 It accidentally opens up his New York Yankees underwear fallout.

Speaker 1 Whoops. And a sheet with like the entire NFL crossed off.

Speaker 1 People

Speaker 1 draft.

Speaker 1 Oh, first of all,

Speaker 1 about our league,

Speaker 1 I'm a little concerned about it. I've done like sort of a desperate thing that you're not supposed to do.

Speaker 1 It's like I've been sending requests to the manager saying, hey, when are we starting this thing up again?

Speaker 1 Okay. It's just so lame because it's like texting someone who, like a girl who hasn't talked to you in like years, like, hey,

Speaker 3 yeah, so Jerry,

Speaker 1 about that.

Speaker 3 I checked the group chat that we were on last year.

Speaker 3 I'd muted it accidentally. Oh, yeah.
Well, actually on purpose.

Speaker 1 No, yeah, because it was so annoying.

Speaker 3 It was annoying when they were trying to

Speaker 3 steal Josh Allen's points away from us last year.

Speaker 3 It looks like we might have been kicked out because I was not replying to the text. But

Speaker 1 I replied,

Speaker 3 but I replied this morning.

Speaker 3 They said, yeah, we're looking for Jerry.

Speaker 3 Who's Jerry? Is it Jerry from Entourage?

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 3 Different, different Jerry. Kangaroo Jack Jerry is what CJ McCollum said.
So you're Kangaroo Jack Jerry. Okay.
And I said, wait, shit, I just saw this. This is PFT.
Are we officially out? We want in.

Speaker 1 You know, I've been in a lot of other. You should tell them I've been in like Stand By Me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. I was

Speaker 1 Husky.

Speaker 1 I was in. I'm in a syndicated show, Pictionary.
That's syndicated. I don't know that one.

Speaker 1 I don't watch what happens live with Andy Carl. I host a daytime show with CBS.

Speaker 3 I'm going to say yes, Kangaroo Jack Jerry.

Speaker 1 Hey, what do you think, by the way?

Speaker 1 Go ahead. Keep going, Peter.

Speaker 3 But so this is important. Right now, I just got this text back.

Speaker 3 Julius Randall is trying to sign up in our spot. So we just have to beat Julius Randall into logging in, and then we're in.
So I'm going to do that right now.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to make a Julius Randle.

Speaker 1 Jerry, while he signs up, quick sidebar. Yeah.
Real Housewives of New York, Newcastle.

Speaker 1 I heard you talking about it.

Speaker 1 I like the classics. Yeah, so do I.
I miss Sonia. Yeah.
But it's funny. There has to be a new generation.
You know, I mean, you can't just have Tom Brady coming out every season.

Speaker 1 Oh, by the way, here's a question.

Speaker 1 I've read somewhere that Tom Brady is maybe going to jump in when

Speaker 1 Brock Purdy goes down.

Speaker 1 Is there any truth?

Speaker 3 Actually, no, Jerry, this is exclusive. What's happening, we're told, is that the Patriots only have one quarterback on their active roster, Mac Jones.

Speaker 3 They're doing that because Tom Brady wants to come back, sign a one-day contract, retire as a Patriot.

Speaker 3 But I'm told that one-day contract, once Tom gets in the building again, he's going to fall in love with the Patriot way all over again.

Speaker 3 And then he's going to play next year for the New England Patriots. That's what me and Hank have heard.

Speaker 1 Do your job. Yeah.
Well, he doesn't have to worry about the misses getting mad at him for

Speaker 1 coming out of Chicago to do Barstool for a day, does he? Okay, so we're back in.

Speaker 3 We just logged in. so we beat Julius Randall.

Speaker 1 We're in. We're in.
We're in the fancy. It's so exciting.
All right. Sherry, the draft

Speaker 3 is September 3rd at noon.

Speaker 1 Okay. Now, I don't know who's in charge of this,

Speaker 1 if it's Jake or Business Pete, but just make sure I have the passcode. Because if you recall, two years ago, I went to Akinko's to log in so I could have

Speaker 1 my one website running, and they have good Wi-Fi,

Speaker 1 just like Dan Patrick. And I just, I need, I couldn't get in, so we had to auto-draft, and then we ended up coming in fourth that season.
And I really

Speaker 1 prayers for DeMar. Oh, right, yeah, that was, uh, that was when we came in second.

Speaker 3 We're gonna get back to Jerry O'Connell in a second.

Speaker 6 He's brought the pro football football show is presented by the Chevy Silverado. Built for the hustle, ready for the game.
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Speaker 6 Whether you're grinding through the week or gearing up for kickoff, the Silverado is one ride that's always game ready. Just like football, it's about grit, grind, and getting it done.

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Speaker 1 Division by division. I love it.
All right. Okay.
AFC East. Let's start there.
First of all, I'm really

Speaker 1 excited about the AFC this year. It's just, it's so funny.
It seems like Patrick Mahomes has set the bar and everyone is chasing him now.

Speaker 1 And from a fantasy standpoint, it's

Speaker 1 an offensive

Speaker 1 toilet.

Speaker 3 That's a toilet he was.

Speaker 1 You gotta

Speaker 1 block out the noise. I think that's the same girl.
Is it away game? I think that girl, I think she has, she's eating like that Kashi cereal or whatever. This is bad.
This is bad. I saw you telling

Speaker 1 at the grocery store. You're like, don't get this.
You're just shit. Your brains.
The guy was like, I'm just trying to get cereal, dude.

Speaker 1 I think the AFC is going to be an offensive juggernaut, and I think that really comes from Patrick Mahomes and everyone chasing him.

Speaker 1 So let's start with the bills in the AFC East.

Speaker 1 You can draft any Bill, all of them. Every single one, except their tight ends.

Speaker 1 Dawson Knox and Dalton Kincaid.

Speaker 1 First of all, those names are so annoying. It sounds like children of like, this is Dawson and Dalton.
They're so they're they're like it's like

Speaker 1 just like kids that have to get dressed up on the weekends and it's just Instagram kids. Dawson and Dalton.

Speaker 1 They're so smart. Dawson and Dalton, you put that down right now.

Speaker 1 But I think they're going to offset each other. So I was a Dawson Knox fan last season, not this season.
But I think James Cook is going to

Speaker 1 cook.

Speaker 1 I think he's a real value.

Speaker 1 He's been going in the fourth, fifth rounds. And

Speaker 1 I think he's going to get a lot of touches.

Speaker 3 Yeah, he's playing twice a year against his brother now. That's going to be fun.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's right. I didn't even realize.
Of course. Duh.
And by the way, I think their names are

Speaker 1 James

Speaker 1 Dalvin Cook and then Dalvin James Cook. Oh, that's fun.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Am I correct in saying that?

Speaker 1 That's correct. That's correct.
Jake said that was correct. Thank you, Jake.

Speaker 1 The Jets.

Speaker 1 I'm not drafting anyone on the Jets. Gary Wilson.

Speaker 3 You know what? I fully bought in Gary Wilson.

Speaker 1 Just face on. 100%.
You know, it's going to go.

Speaker 1 I'm going to have a theory this year with our fantasy team.

Speaker 1 And if you're upset about this let me know now because you guys are doing the buy-in so this is your team you're the owners okay you're the jerry jones you tell me what to do

Speaker 1 i work for you and your grandson i work for your grandson too i work for the whole jones family

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 1 that said um i i i

Speaker 1 i just think that

Speaker 1 I just don't think that there's there's going to be any jets. I just, I, I, I, okay.
Okay. Good reasoning.
I just don't think it's happening.

Speaker 1 I think we have to go two RBs,

Speaker 1 one and two.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay. We're then going to reach for in round three.

Speaker 3 Elector already considered a reach.

Speaker 1 You don't know how it's going to play out, but we'll reach. It'll be a reach.
It's going to be a reach. I'll give you a reach pick in round three.

Speaker 1 We're going to have to reach it in round three for Justin Fields. Oh.
I have a feeling

Speaker 1 he's going to be the Jalen Hurts of this season. Okay.
And we have to ensure that we get him. And that's a reason.
Third round. Third round.
Now, people are screaming right now.

Speaker 1 They're ripping their Bluetooth headsets out on their elliptical machines. But I found in a lot of live mock drafts that I've done that

Speaker 1 he can sometimes go early in the fourth round. And if you don't take him by the third, you're not guaranteeing that you're getting him.
Okay. So, yeah, I'm down.

Speaker 3 If you believe in somebody that strong, you're not going to be able to do it.

Speaker 1 Now, you know what you're doing right now? No matter what.

Speaker 3 You're standing on the table. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm standing on the table.

Speaker 3 I've never seen this in real life. You're standing on the table.

Speaker 1 Now, all that said, here's where it gets a little weird and where people are going to get upset with me: is that I think there are a lot of wide receivers in rounds six, seven, eight, and nine that you can get.

Speaker 1 A lot of wide receiver ones. Now, everyone's very upset.
You should be getting Garrett Wilson. You should be getting Justin Jefferson.
You should be getting these guys.

Speaker 1 It's a PPR league, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1 I just think with running backs these days, if you don't draft them in the first two rounds, it's like

Speaker 1 so you get Alexander Madison. Okay,

Speaker 1 good luck. I'm sorry, Dalvin Cook, who's going late.
All right, good luck. You know, I just, I'm old school.
I think you need a couple running backs up top.

Speaker 3 What do you think about Jonathan Taylor?

Speaker 3 Would you draft him?

Speaker 1 I would not. I don't think he's going to play this season.
At all? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't think he's going to play. By the way, I think Josh Jacobs, who held out for a while, I think he might be a deal because he's going sort of like later because he held out for so long.
But

Speaker 1 I just guys have held out that long, you know, I mean, Little Ross. Yeah.
And also, you have to watch Raiders games. Like, yeah, good point.

Speaker 1 You know, that's actually the best point you've made.

Speaker 1 Okay, so no Jets.

Speaker 1 No Jets.

Speaker 1 Miami staying in the AFC East.

Speaker 1 Nobody on the Dolphins. Okay.

Speaker 1 This seems...

Speaker 1 I was with you for the first part, but the Dolphins do have some good players.

Speaker 1 100%. Look, obviously, Tyreek Hill, if you're going to take a wide receiver in the first round, but this is not going with our...
We're really targeting Justin Fields round three.

Speaker 1 We're building the draft around this.

Speaker 3 Jerry, is there any concern that you've laid out the entire draft strategy and there might be somebody in the league that's listening?

Speaker 1 I know a lot of people say,

Speaker 1 no, I'm not worried about anyone in the league listening.

Speaker 1 They thought I was the guy from Entourage.

Speaker 1 They have no idea who I am or anything.

Speaker 3 Well, there is another Jerry in there.

Speaker 3 It's Turtle.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Jerry from Entourage. I'm Kangaroo Jack Jerry.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, no Dolphins. I think their wide receivers are too expensive.
And I mean,

Speaker 1 Mostert,

Speaker 1 it's not cutting the Mostert. It's not like he's not.

Speaker 1 You know, I do think

Speaker 1 actually

Speaker 1 either Kareem Hunt will end up there

Speaker 1 in Miami.

Speaker 1 I just don't think that

Speaker 1 their running game can sustain just Mostert.

Speaker 1 Okay, okay.

Speaker 1 Patriots. Hank, you ready for this?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Nobody. Nobody.

Speaker 1 I love it. No Juju? No Juju.
So we only have the Bills

Speaker 1 in the AFC. In the AFC.
Yes, it's okay. Only the Bills.

Speaker 1 No Patriots. I'm sorry.
You know, I got to tell you, you know what really annoyed me last season was

Speaker 1 your quarterback, knowing he's being filmed, like screaming, just let me fucking throw the ball. Let me fucking throw the ball, man.
I want to fucking throw the ball.

Speaker 1 And it's like, hey, Mac Jones, just chill out, man. Passion.

Speaker 1 It's like, you want to act right now.

Speaker 1 Let's you act. Yeah, but you'll never see me on camera going, let me fucking act, man.

Speaker 1 Let me fucking say some lines and fucking hit my marks, man. Let me fucking do this.

Speaker 1 Why won't they let me like,

Speaker 1 it just, oh, you know what, Hank? You're going to get your shot. You're going to get to see Mac Jones fucking throw that ball.
I'm excited. You're going to get to see it.

Speaker 1 I won't be watching.

Speaker 1 Let's head over to the AFC North.

Speaker 1 The Ravens. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No Ravens.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.
None. Andrews is too expensive these days.

Speaker 1 Oh, you know what? Zay Flowers. I talked to you about my wide receiver strategy, sixth, seventh, and eighth rounds.
Zay Flowers, I think. Okay, so maybe

Speaker 1 Zay Flowers is okay. No Odell.

Speaker 1 Sorry? No Odell. No Odell.
No Odell. Okay.
I think.

Speaker 1 He is old. I think he is older.

Speaker 1 Also, I'm not that.

Speaker 1 I don't know what kind of...

Speaker 1 Let me ask you. You're the owners of the team.
What kind of year do you think Lamar is going to have? Very good.

Speaker 3 I think Lamar is...

Speaker 3 Lamar is still really good at playing quarterback. Last year it was interesting at the end of the season when the contract stuff was breaking down.

Speaker 3 And so he kind of just,

Speaker 3 for the first time, I ever saw Lamar not want to compete. That's a little weird.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm very high.

Speaker 3 You would think that a great quarterback would be like, you know what? The contract stuff is one thing, but at the end of the day, I want to win a playoff game.

Speaker 1 Well, it's not even that. I mean, I think that players have to say, this is going to be a reflection of my career.
These are numbies that I'm putting up for my career in my prime.

Speaker 1 You need the numbies. And, you know, I didn't have Lamar on any teams last year, but a friend of mine did, and it was really upsetting.
It was frustrating, you know, and it was

Speaker 1 self-inflicted. Yeah.
It was, and I'm sorry, there's no room for that on our team.

Speaker 3 He does also have some butt issues. If you've noticed over the last couple of seasons, he'll miss like

Speaker 1 three practices.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Well, he would miss practice, too, because he was like, no, I have diarrhea.
He's probably eating that kashi.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he shits more than the woman out there. I'm high on the OC for the Ravens, Todd Munkin.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I think they're going to have a very good year. All right, we can revisit that.

Speaker 1 Still in the AFC North, the Bengals.

Speaker 1 All of them. Oh.

Speaker 1 All of them. I just think their offense specifically.

Speaker 1 Who we're going to target in round two. Again, we're reaching.

Speaker 1 Oh, PFT has an idea.

Speaker 3 No, I think I know who you're going to say. I'll let you say it.

Speaker 1 I'm going to let you say it.

Speaker 3 T. Higgins?

Speaker 1 Oh, Joe Mixon. Joe Mixon.
Okay. Yeah, remember, we're going running back, running back Justin Fields.

Speaker 3 Oh, I thought he was talking about the late round.

Speaker 1 No, no, no.

Speaker 1 No, no. We're going running back, running back, Justin Fields.
Running back, running back, Justin Fields. And I think

Speaker 1 everyone's going to be very upset with this. We're going to take Joe Mixon in the second round.
Okay.

Speaker 3 I'm a little bit upset with that.

Speaker 1 I can't speak because last year, I know he got injured, but you got Brees Hall, I think, what, in the third round? I was like, that's a reach. He looked electric.
Obviously, he got injured.

Speaker 1 So I trust whatever you do. I just think Joe Mixon is going to pass the ball.

Speaker 1 I think that Joe Mixon is going to catch a lot of passes this year. I just think Burrow is going to just dump it off to him all the time.
I trust you. And

Speaker 1 that's just a hunch that I have. I trust it.
It's a feeling. Oh, no Irv Smith on the Bengals.

Speaker 1 I had...

Speaker 1 We had Kirk Cousins in our league last year, and I just watched him drop so many passes.

Speaker 3 It's too frustrating.

Speaker 1 It's just way too frustrating. Okay.

Speaker 1 Now, I have a question for you guys staying in the AFC North.

Speaker 1 How is Deshaun Watson going to do this year?

Speaker 1 As a person, you know what? I think

Speaker 3 as owners, I think we should make a statement. Yeah.
We don't want him on our team. Don't draft him.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 3 We don't want that guy. So.

Speaker 1 Why?

Speaker 3 Credits us because it makes us look good and like heroes for disavowing Deshaun Watson.

Speaker 1 But why wouldn't you want him on your team?

Speaker 1 He's a running quarterback. He's going to score a lot of points with his legs.

Speaker 3 Justin Fields.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 So, okay.

Speaker 1 No perverts. You don't fully get it? No perverts on this.
I'm nervous that you're going to draft him. Okay.
No. I just.
No, I was asking you. I wanted your opinion.
Jerry.

Speaker 3 Jerry. I'll tell you what.
We'll give you one pervert. You can take a pervert on the team, but it can't be Deshaun Watson.

Speaker 1 Jimmy Garoppolo.

Speaker 1 He's

Speaker 1 Odell. Kind of a pervert.
Italian, isn't he? No. He's greasy.

Speaker 1 Ray Allen.

Speaker 1 We are going to take Nick Chubb in the first round if he's there. Okay.
I like Nick Chubb. Love that.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 none of their wide receivers. Like Amari Cooper, just I know he's not that old.
He's probably like in his 20s, but like he just. He feels old.
He feels like he's like...

Speaker 1 It's also like I identify him with... It's like he dated one of my friends.
It's like we can't really.

Speaker 1 No, it's just not happening.

Speaker 3 We also told Coach Siriani, run the damn ball. He seems like he's...

Speaker 3 Would I say Siriani? Yeah. Stefansky.
Yeah, Stefanski's going to run the damn ball this year. So I like Treb a lot.

Speaker 1 State of the AFC North Steelers.

Speaker 1 None. Zero.

Speaker 1 Nothing. I do not believe in

Speaker 1 Kenny Pickett. I just don't.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 Friend of the show. I know.
I know. Friend of the show.
It's a bummer. But, you know, I mean, look, the other quarterbacks in the AFC,

Speaker 1 Mahomes, Allen, Lawrence, Burrow,

Speaker 1 Herbert. I mean,

Speaker 1 Pickett.

Speaker 1 Okay, friend of the show.

Speaker 1 Gonna make the jump this year, guys.

Speaker 1 Let's go to the AFC South

Speaker 1 Texans.

Speaker 1 No one. Okay.

Speaker 1 That was probably smart. That was making me nervous.
Although, I do, I like their running back a lot.

Speaker 3 I know he got hurt last year. Pierce.
Pierce is awesome.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I just, you have to watch Texans games. And like,

Speaker 1 I get two and a half quarters this year, and none of that time is being spent on the Texans. Empty calories.
Oh, I have a question for you. Name one

Speaker 1 Texans wide receiver.

Speaker 1 Brandon Cooks.

Speaker 1 Isn't that there?

Speaker 1 Robert Woods?

Speaker 3 One of those guys. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I can't either. No one can.

Speaker 1 Robert Woods is on the Texans.

Speaker 1 Robert Woods is on the Texans. I get a point for that.
Oh, is he? Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The Colts.

Speaker 1 You are now season ticket holders, both of you?

Speaker 1 If he's available, we're going to draft Anthony Richardson.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I think he's going to have an electric year. I think he's going to be really good.
He's going to run the ball.

Speaker 1 But someone, given our wide receiver six, seven, eight, nine rounds,

Speaker 1 we're going to draft Michael Pittman. We think he's going to have a good season.
Okay.

Speaker 1 He's under-the-radar wide receiver one. And

Speaker 1 I think Anthony Richardson's a good quarterback. You know, this relationship

Speaker 1 receivers, it's like a

Speaker 1 threesome. You know, you can't, you also have to like the quarterback.
You know, I mean, like,

Speaker 1 you got to,

Speaker 1 when you're jumping into bed with two other people,

Speaker 1 there's got to be a little something you like about the third person. You know, they can't just

Speaker 1 be hideous.

Speaker 3 You know, you like to do the strategy of having like all your eggs in one basket sometimes on a team, right?

Speaker 3 Where it's like you've got the quarterback and the wide receiver, so you're double dipping, which can be a good strategy if they're good, but if they're bad, connection, yeah, I like the connection.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but bye weeks, it's weird. Um, if it's good, uh, oh, I don't pay attention ever to bye weeks when I'm drafting.

Speaker 3 I always hit the end of the draft and I'm like, well, my entire roster's out week eight, and I'll just live with that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't really pay attention to bye weeks either, um,

Speaker 1 but um,

Speaker 1 yeah, I do love a connection, I do love uh um feels good when they score. What was the what was it really funny? The original one, Largent to uh uh uh uh, what was was the Seahawks one?

Speaker 3 Zorn to Largent.

Speaker 1 Zorn to Largent.

Speaker 1 Edwards. I mean,

Speaker 1 Anderson to Edwards.

Speaker 3 When you had...

Speaker 1 You just saying Derrick and each other rounds? Yeah. Wow, okay.

Speaker 1 I thought you were going to go like Manning to Harrison.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Manning to Harrison. I'm an orange.

Speaker 1 Oh, man, you'll never remember this, but the first time I came on your show, it was around this time of year, and I talked about how I had a tick, like

Speaker 1 an issue where I could only draft Browns and Jags on my team.

Speaker 1 And then I came back on your show, and I said, I'm off of both of those teams. Well, you guys are not allowing me to draft Deshaun Watson.

Speaker 1 But I also went off of the Jags for a few years, but

Speaker 1 I'm back. All the Jags.

Speaker 1 All of them. Without the word, Jerry's back on the Jags.

Speaker 1 I think Lawrence is going to have that step-up year. I think this is his year.
Okay. I think Etienne is...
Oh, I had a question for you.

Speaker 1 Mixon or Etienne?

Speaker 3 So I like Etienne. And the reason why I like him is because he's got that one kind of fucked up foot.
Have you ever watched him run?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. He's like a club foot.
Not a club foot. I apologize.

Speaker 3 Yeah. It goes out to the side.
So when he runs... I think he's able to go sideways faster than other players because he walks like, what is that, pigeon-toed? Yeah.
With his toes pointing out?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think in LA it's like first position.

Speaker 1 Pigeons opposite. Pigeon Penguin?

Speaker 3 This one, the V. Pigeon is.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think it's.

Speaker 3 Duckfoot? Is it Duckfoot? Duckfoot.

Speaker 1 He's a Duck. The pigeon's when his face is in.

Speaker 3 Yeah, he's like.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like wobble.

Speaker 1 It's like a penguin.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you can watch him, though, when he cuts to the side. It's like, holy shit, that guy's foot's different.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is real nitty-gritty stuff we get into. You really do.

Speaker 1 You get into the nitty-gritty.

Speaker 1 All the Jags. All of them.
Okay. Okay.
All of them. Every single one of them.
Christian Kirk's going to the sixth round.

Speaker 1 It's exciting.

Speaker 3 What do you think about Calvin Ridley?

Speaker 1 I think he's going to have a great year. I think so, too.
Would you bet on him?

Speaker 1 Would I bet on him? Yeah.

Speaker 1 To have like an over-under of like

Speaker 1 parlay it with someone else. Yeah, I would bet on him.
Okay, okay. Sure.
Great.

Speaker 1 Where were we? AFC South? Titans. Titans.

Speaker 1 None.

Speaker 1 I felt that one coming. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I won't even draft Derrick Henry if he's up there. So sorry.
I just think it's

Speaker 1 I think it's over. Getting back to that, like, you're in a threesome.
You know, you can't even take like

Speaker 1 DeAndre Hopkins because it's like Ryan Tannehill's like in bed there and like naked, like stroking it. Like, come on in.
And it's

Speaker 3 all right. Will Levis is sitting in the corner just watching with some mayonnaise on his hand?

Speaker 1 Hey, what did you, what did you think about Max's thoughts on titty fucking?

Speaker 1 It was revolting because the image is of Max climbing on some poor woman

Speaker 1 with his hairy leg. I mean, could you imagine? He was just like, oh, yeah, okay.
Hold on a second. I'm going to do something.
I always do this. Hold on.

Speaker 1 And then he went into details. He was like, oh, and, you know,

Speaker 1 the tip of your dick is touching their nose because you got a long, skinny dick. Oh, you like that?

Speaker 1 Let me get on. Climb on top of you.
Yeah, you can never talk about this back when those other people owned us. But they bought it back for a dollar.
Now I can talk about titty fucking all I want.

Speaker 1 No, no, I've done this before. Just don't move.

Speaker 1 I got it. I got it.
I'm doing all the work. Disgusting.
It was fucking revolting. I literally, I had to take a break from your show for a second.
You shouldn't allow that, man.

Speaker 1 Like, get Penn back in here and stop that kind of stuff. Clean it up.
I mean, but it's the image of him doing it. Yes.
By the way,

Speaker 3 I like how you went immediately towards him being on top, too, in this position.

Speaker 1 But that's, well,

Speaker 1 you know, I listen to the show. I don't watch on YouTube.
So I listen. So I like close my eyes and I visualize a lot, like what's happening.
And that visualization was... Disgusting.

Speaker 1 It was, honestly, I would rather stand underneath this shit pipe and listen to that woman's Kashi shit running down this pipe than have to hear about Max titty fucking somebody and then he tried to apologize by saying like

Speaker 1 my mom heard it

Speaker 1 it's pretty weird

Speaker 1 but i'm never gonna stop titty fucking

Speaker 1 it's just like also like just

Speaker 1 it's him climbing and like getting up there there was like nothing hot about it you know

Speaker 3 no straddling her oh man by the way like

Speaker 1 i'm not like even if jake said like talked about

Speaker 1 positions i yeah I would be like, eh, I kind of, okay, okay, okay, I can live with that. But fucking Max, it was so nasty.
Oh, okay, enough. AFC South.

Speaker 1 AFC West.

Speaker 1 AFC West.

Speaker 1 Broncos.

Speaker 1 The Broncos. I have a question for you.
You guys are owners.

Speaker 1 Governor,

Speaker 1 you own this fantasy team.

Speaker 1 Would you draft any Broncos?

Speaker 3 I was going to say Jerry Judy, but no.

Speaker 1 Jerry Judy's going a little late. Yeah,

Speaker 1 hamstrings. Those linger, though.
Maybe a little late, Jerry Judy. Keep an eye out.
You believe Russell Wilson is going to be able to connect with Jerry Judy?

Speaker 1 I will not touch Russell Wilson. Okay, but if you cast Jerry Judy in our movie,

Speaker 1 you're going to have to watch some Russell Wilson. Yeah, you're right.
Okay to do that. You're right.
So no, no Broncos.

Speaker 3 Javante's not bad.

Speaker 1 You know, he's so good. He's so fast.
We actually had him on our team. The way he hits that hole is so hard.
But, you know,

Speaker 1 we have Samanjay on that team now. I don't know what to say.
He's coming back from that injury. I just don't know what's going to happen.
Okay.

Speaker 1 AFC West.

Speaker 1 Kansas City.

Speaker 1 You know, here's my problem with Kansas City. They're obviously great.
They're obviously, I mean,

Speaker 1 probably going to go to the Super Bowl again.

Speaker 1 From a fantasy standpoint, there's just, you never know.

Speaker 1 Where it's going or what's

Speaker 1 there's no way to predict what they're going to do. That's how good they are.

Speaker 3 Each week is a little bit bit different. It's like one receiver.

Speaker 3 I wouldn't mind having Justin Ross in like the last round, okay. If somebody didn't take him, okay.

Speaker 1 And Pacheco, Pacheco will have a good year, but I'm telling you, just when you get Pacheco, Jarek McKinnon is running touchdowns in. You know, I mean, they still have Clyde.

Speaker 1 I think Clyde is still there. Yep.

Speaker 1 It's impossible to predict. You're right.
And Kelsey is going in the first round.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 it's just too expensive to take a tight end, man. It's just too expensive.
Raiders?

Speaker 1 None. Good.

Speaker 1 Oh, question for you.

Speaker 1 We talked earlier about

Speaker 1 Tom Brady maybe taking over. We were joking about him maybe taking over for Brock Purdy when that all goes down, and we know he's a childhood Niners fan.

Speaker 1 I saw on Instagram that he's a part owner of the Raiders.

Speaker 1 Is he allowed to do that? I don't think so.

Speaker 3 I don't think so. That might be one hiccup in our thought that he's coming back to the Patriots.

Speaker 3 He is him and Mark Davis, the two most handsome owners in North American sports.

Speaker 1 Now, let me ask you something. They don't look alike now that you say that they do.

Speaker 3 That's probably why Tom wanted to hang out with them. Imagine those two just

Speaker 3 those Poon Hounds cruising for tail.

Speaker 1 Oh, God, no, Vegas.

Speaker 1 Let me ask you something. If,

Speaker 1 I mean, this is just hypothetical. I mean, it's probably not going to happen, but let's say Jimmy G gets injured.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. We're just talking.
Yeah,

Speaker 3 you have to work through every scenario.

Speaker 1 Could Tom Brady conceivably come in and play for the Raiders? I think so. Josh McDaniels.
I think so. Jesus Christmas, that would be fucking something, wouldn't it?

Speaker 1 Holy shit.

Speaker 1 Holy shit. That would be something, NFL.
Make it happen. Make it so.

Speaker 1 Chargers. Love all the Chargers.
Keenan Allen is going in the sixth round, man. That's what I'm talking about.
He's a good player.

Speaker 3 I just, I hate, I hate the C-words. I hate them.
After what happened in the playoffs last year.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I totally understand it. It's heartbreaking.
Look, they're going to go seven.

Speaker 1 They're only going to win seven games. Staley's going to get fired maybe halfway through the season.
Sorry, Coach Staley. I hate to say it, but

Speaker 1 I don't care about any of that. From a fantasy standpoint, Justin Herbert is going to compete every game, throw the ball, and he's going to throw it to Mike Williams.

Speaker 1 He's going to throw it to Keenan Allen. So just hypothetically, or he's going to throw it to Quinton Johnson, who's going like in the 10th round.

Speaker 3 Hypothetically, this will probably never happen, but what if Keenan Allen gets hurt?

Speaker 1 Then, I mean, then we're fucked. Then we have Quentin Johnson

Speaker 1 waiting in the wings. Okay.

Speaker 1 Let's go to the. Oh, you know what? We're done with the AFC.
We like the AFC a lot.

Speaker 1 Let's get to the NFC. Yes.

Speaker 1 Let's start with the NFC East. Now, this is a personal problem I have with the Cowboys.

Speaker 1 I have a problem with their.

Speaker 1 I have a problem with every time I watch a Dallas game, which happens about six times a year, because they always get the prime time slot. You know,

Speaker 1 they must post numbies because they always give them the Sunday night game or

Speaker 1 the afternoon Fox game. Media darlings.

Speaker 1 I am so sick of

Speaker 1 seeing the story on Jerry Jones's grandson playing high school football. And it's just,

Speaker 1 I'm not even making a joke now. Like, the fact that he gets Joe Buck and Troy Aikman to talk about it and do like a little story on it on a nationally televised game

Speaker 1 it drives me crazy it's like the nepotism is like so it like it actually like it annoy it makes me not be able to watch that team wow

Speaker 1 that's how powerful I've that that's how strong strongly I feel about it it drives me crazy Do you secretly still watch the Cowboys, though?

Speaker 3 Because I feel like most people,

Speaker 3 they hear all this annoying stuff about the team. They say, like, fuck the Cowboys, but you can't help but watch.

Speaker 1 Well, you have to watch because they're going to get three primetime.

Speaker 3 They do force them down our throats.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, you're right.

Speaker 1 And we are probably going to draft Brandon Cooks this season. He's on the Cowboys.
He's on the Cowboys now. How about that? Wow.

Speaker 1 And I think he's going to have a great year. Okay.

Speaker 1 I do not believe in Dak Prescott. Sorry about that.
Same.

Speaker 1 Tony Pollard is going to have an incredible year.

Speaker 1 He might be a round two for us. If he's up there in round two,

Speaker 1 and I told you we're drafting Joe Mixon, I will take Tony Pollard over Joe Mixon.

Speaker 3 My worry about Tony Pollard is he was always like the second guy, and everyone was like, he's better than the first guy. Let's make the second guy the first guy.
Is this like,

Speaker 3 maybe we were wrong this entire time? Maybe he's better as a backup.

Speaker 1 No, I think he's good. Okay.
I think he's a real deal. All right.

Speaker 1 Deuce Vaughn, though, is very good. I know everyone says that.
Deuce Vaughn, I watched him a lot in college. He's really good.
I know that. I know that.
He might be a late-round guy. I know that.

Speaker 1 And he is. But I'm telling you,

Speaker 1 Tony Pollard's going to have a good year. Okay.

Speaker 1 If he's there and Joe Mixon is there. All right.

Speaker 1 I realize you guys are looking at your watches. I got to get through this.
I'm so sorry. But I did.
I was just

Speaker 1 flying.

Speaker 3 Jeff D. Lowe doesn't know time zone, so I had to write back to him.

Speaker 1 I did fly here and I paid for the ticket. I was not looking at my watch.
I came here and I went to a Stella Blue event this morning. And I had to remind myself if Deuce Vaughan was on the Cowboys.

Speaker 1 He is.

Speaker 1 Said a reminder,

Speaker 1 Jake.

Speaker 1 NFC East Giants. Oh, here we go.
This is part of our plan.

Speaker 1 Remember, you were accusing me of setting targets and not being able to budge from them. NFC East, we are going to take Darren Waller.
We're reaching in the fourth round. We're taking them.

Speaker 1 We're taking them. We have Justin Fields and Darren Waller no matter what.
Justin Fields, third round, Darren Waller, first round. We're getting them.

Speaker 1 Fourth round. We are getting them.
That's it. They're on our team.
There are no other receivers on the New York Giants. There are no other receivers.
It is Darren Waller and Darren Waller only.

Speaker 1 That's it. Love it.

Speaker 1 You know, I'm not the biggest Daniel Jones fan, but I think he is going to throw the ball to Darren Waller quite a bit.

Speaker 3 What if Darren Waller's not there? Have you run the scenarios?

Speaker 1 Well, then we quit the league.

Speaker 1 He'll be there. That's why we're taking him in the fourth round.
He will be there.

Speaker 1 He will be there. He will be there.

Speaker 3 Hypothetically, what if someone takes him in the third?

Speaker 1 It's not possible. Okay.
It's not possible. Because people are going to go for Kelsey,

Speaker 1 Hawkinson,

Speaker 1 Andrews, and he's going to be there. Okay.
But it's why we're reaching for him because we have to get him. Because I think he's going to be right up there with Kelsey.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Take lunch break now. Just so you know, if you hear voices in the background, they're taking a lunch break right next door.

Speaker 1 Way to go, business Pete.

Speaker 1 Eagles, titty fucker, team titty fucker.

Speaker 1 Get up on the chest. Hold on a second.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna make it a little bit up.

Speaker 1 I've done this before. I've done this before.

Speaker 1 Hold on a second.

Speaker 1 I know what I'm doing.

Speaker 1 Disgusting.

Speaker 1 I mean, in the first round, if it wasn't in in our league and it wasn't our plan, I would take Jalen Hurts in the first round.

Speaker 3 I would.

Speaker 1 That was an air horn. Is that from

Speaker 1 Jalen Hurts? I think that's just the lunch break because he's got an air horn at lunch.

Speaker 3 Just dudes blowing horns at lunch.

Speaker 1 Can you believe I fucking flew here expecting to see the new studio that you've been talking about? And this is

Speaker 1 absolutely

Speaker 1 a shithole. Literally, shithole is near my head.
I was very clear that the new studio wasn't open. God, you know, they always say, like, don't meet your heroes.

Speaker 1 This is like, we should have done this on Zoom with my wife asking me, but I couldn't do it at home. My Wi-Fi, my wife is watching Magnolia Network non-stop.
No one's working. Everyone's in the house.

Speaker 1 My kids are vaping. It's a fucking nightmare.
Get me out of there. Calgon, take me away.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Hurts is the only one we're taking on the Eagles. Sorry, Max.

Speaker 1 I mean, A.J. Brown is going in the second round.
Devonta Smith is going in the third. They're too expensive.
That's where Justin Fields goes. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We can't do that. The Commanders.

Speaker 1 Feeling

Speaker 1 Johan Dotson. Okay, yeah.
Feeling him a lot. He's going to be one of our wide receivers.
It's hard to say his name.

Speaker 3 It might be a situation where McLaurin's got the turf toe, right? Which is like

Speaker 3 the most deadly injury of all time.

Speaker 1 For the biggest win in franchise history. Oh, absolutely.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 we beat the Ravens.

Speaker 3 No regrets. But

Speaker 3 we're going to see see Jahan as number one to start the year, probably.

Speaker 1 I think so.

Speaker 3 And it's going to be hard to look away from him after Sam Howell gets that connection.

Speaker 1 Hey, can I ask you? That is a great threesome, though.

Speaker 1 Everyone was making fun of me for my get wide receivers in 6, 7, 8, 9. Now that I've explained it to you, does it make a little sense? I see your vision, and it makes a lot of sense.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 So good luck this season. It's going to be fun.
How are you feeling about your quarterback?

Speaker 3 I think he can be average.

Speaker 1 Okay. I think he can be average.
Put out the word. Put out the word.

Speaker 3 I want the haters to know Sam Howell is going to have the most average season of all time.

Speaker 3 And that means that we're going to make the playoffs. We might even win a playoff game.

Speaker 1 Perfectly average is good.

Speaker 3 Perfectly average is great. Yes.
That would be a perfectly average quarterback would be the best quarterback that I have probably seen in 23 years in D.C.

Speaker 3 So it would be awesome.

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 1 NFC North, Bears. We all know our plans for Justin Fields.
It's going to be really exciting here. Hey, guys, it's going to be exciting to live in this town.
It's going to be a fun football season.

Speaker 1 It is going to be fun.

Speaker 1 We're not taking anyone else. We're only taking Justin Fields still.
Sorry. I don't think Khalil can catch a ball.
Sorry.

Speaker 1 DJ Moore is going to probably go too high for our strategy.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. We're just...
Maybe a flyer. This is now a late, late flyer, but like

Speaker 1 13th, 14th round, Chase Claypool. I actually think that he could.

Speaker 1 He's playing for money.

Speaker 1 He slots in better now that DJ Moore's there. Just saying, just a flyer.
You know, it's got a little bit of

Speaker 1 a scent of juju where it's like,

Speaker 1 sort of like, oh, guys have been around a little bit, and it's like, oh, yeah, I recognize that name. Let me get it.
And it just, I'm telling you, when you plug them in, it doesn't happen. Okay, okay.

Speaker 1 It's a little inflated.

Speaker 1 The Lions, man, I love that Jameer Gibbs. It would be so fun to take him.

Speaker 1 But he's like going in the third round, and that's when we're taking Justin. Sorry.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry, guys. I know.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 you are running this team. We're hands off.
Green Bay.

Speaker 1 No one. Nice.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Good, good, good. Vikings.

Speaker 1 Only Alexander Madison, possibly. Oh, no.
You know what? Also, Jordan Addison, if he's around in our 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. Love him as a

Speaker 1 wide receiver.

Speaker 1 But,

Speaker 1 you know, it's so funny. If we don't get, if something goes wrong in the first two rounds and we don't get a running back in those first two rounds, let's say we take,

Speaker 1 I don't know, if somebody's on the board that we have to take like late in the first, like Justin Jefferson, and you have to take him,

Speaker 1 you can take Alexander Madison as your second RB.

Speaker 1 I think he'll be okay. Okay, okay.

Speaker 1 But man, I got to tell you one problem with the Vikings,

Speaker 1 I hate players who wear those rubber wedding bands i i just i hate cousins wears that it's just such like i am

Speaker 1 i am married i am married okay i'm you know sort of

Speaker 1 happy at times it's okay it's it's going we're married you know we're doing it we're together

Speaker 1 and as an actor you know

Speaker 1 when i used to act um

Speaker 1 The first thing you do is you take your wedding ring off and it's like, oh, fucking this is like a, I'm able to just take it off. Boom, come to work.
It's off, gone.

Speaker 1 And I don't have to be like, why did you take it off? And it's like, I had to. I'm playing a character in Kangaroo Jack.
It doesn't wear a wedding ring. You know, he's not married.

Speaker 1 I'm getting into character.

Speaker 1 The fact that you're given an excuse to take your wedding ring off and then you put on a rubber wedding ring to replace that wedding ring, it's just, it's so annoying to me.

Speaker 1 Sorry, guys.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. It's good.
I think it's valid.

Speaker 3 I want guys that are married to the game.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 You just make a ring out of a football,

Speaker 3 like a pig skin ring.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's what I want my quarterback wearing.

Speaker 1 I like that.

Speaker 1 NFC, NFC, NFC South, Falcons. Oh, Bijan might be fun to get.
First round? Yeah. If he's there, we're going to take him.
He's going high. It's going to be fun.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 You're not feeling good about that? No,

Speaker 3 I'm trying to wrap my head around the strategy here. He's going very high.

Speaker 1 He's going very good. He's going first round.
I mean, like, top, sometimes he's

Speaker 1 running.

Speaker 3 So no, Bijan, then we're taking Joe.

Speaker 1 Joe's second round. No, no, no, no, Joe's second round.
This is first round. Chubb.
Okay. Yeah.
Chubb. Chubb.

Speaker 3 I forgot about Chubb. That's the mission.
Chubb or Bijan.

Speaker 1 McCaffrey. I like.

Speaker 1 If it's up there.

Speaker 1 I don't want to watch Niners games. Sorry, Niners fans.

Speaker 1 Well, no, you should really apologize. I do want to apologize to Niners fans.
It's the most frightening fan base out there.

Speaker 1 We all watch fight videos. We all, hey, there's a fight at the Panthers game.
You watch it. It's usually a drunk person and a woman getting in the middle.
It's like everyone's missing punches.

Speaker 1 You click on a 49ers

Speaker 1 fight.

Speaker 1 There's like people punch to kill. It's like,

Speaker 1 you know, it's so, it's so, they're, it's so funny. I always click on 49ers fights in the stands and it's usually,

Speaker 1 I don't want to stereotype and generalize, but it's usually a shape. It's a very muscular shaved head person.

Speaker 1 And they're just throwing like roundhouse after roundhouse, but their head, they're such good fighters. Their head is not moved.
They are completely locked in on the temple and head, like the brain.

Speaker 1 And they're just like, just hammering, just laying

Speaker 1 haymaker after haymaker. And it's like, you watch it in horror.

Speaker 1 I have a great deal of respect for all Niners fans. I want no beef with you.

Speaker 1 You're great fighters.

Speaker 1 Brock Purdy ain't going to cut it. Okay.
Okay.

Speaker 3 I would say Eagles fans are also pretty deadly fighters, but they no, they go for like a they go, they just swing wildly, you know, they throw a lot of punches.

Speaker 1 Diners fans have been trained,

Speaker 1 they've been trained, yeah, they've been trained, they're ready, they're waiting for it. Yeah, they're waiting for them.

Speaker 1 There was one on a bird joint, they are weapons, but yeah,

Speaker 1 uh, NFC South

Speaker 1 Panthers, White Sox fan, either, yeah, Panthers, absolutely no one. Sorry, um, that's fair.

Speaker 1 Saints,

Speaker 1 nobody. I mean, Olave is going to be good in the second round, but we're taking...
We're running back. Joe Mixon.
We're going to take a Joe Mixon.

Speaker 1 Bucks, it's over. It's over.
Yep. It's over.
It's over. It's just over.
God, I feel so bad for Mike Evans.

Speaker 1 He's a Hall of Famer.

Speaker 3 I am not totally out on Baker yet. This might be a personal problem that we have, but we want to keep believing in him.

Speaker 1 You know, like he was

Speaker 3 good on the Browns, Jerry. He was a good player for a couple years.
He's still got that in him.

Speaker 1 He's good. those commercials.
Were pretty funny when Alice Cooper is like there and he's lives at the stadium.

Speaker 1 He might be too good of an actor.

Speaker 3 That might be the issue.

Speaker 1 Arizona, NFC South, absolutely no one. San Francisco, I think we're going to find out why he's called Mr.
Irrelevant.

Speaker 1 You know, it's so funny. When you're in the NFL and you're in a position like quarterback, like

Speaker 1 there's a reason why you've gone through so many

Speaker 1 tests and levels and like and had to prove yourself because

Speaker 1 it's a long,

Speaker 1 arduous career. And I'm just, I don't, I don't see it from him.
I think he's going to have a bad season. Okay.
All right. Um,

Speaker 1 oh, but uh, uh, getting back to our wide receivers, six, seven, eight, nine, Brandon Ayuk. Yep.
Gonna be a good grab. Uh, see, getting back

Speaker 1 NFC NFC.

Speaker 1 Were we in the NFC?

Speaker 1 The Seahawks.

Speaker 1 Tyler Lockett is going to be a grab in the 6, 7, 8, or 9.

Speaker 1 Not going to touch their running game because I have no idea what's going on with Walker and Chardonnay.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 DK is going too early. And Rams, absolutely no one.
It's over.

Speaker 1 That's over. That's my breakdown.
That's how we're going to go back.

Speaker 1 I like that we have a crystal clear strategy. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Now, how often do you go into these drafts with a precise strategy? And then, like, two rounds in, you just blow it all up.

Speaker 1 It usually, third round, it usually all falls apart. We need Justin Fields.

Speaker 1 Third round, it usually falls apart. You know, sometimes you get a little greedy and you're like, Justin Fields will be around

Speaker 1 round four.

Speaker 1 But then when he gets taken, it fucks you up. And because you're being timed, it's like being on Family Feud or something.
You just say a stupid or pick a stupid pick because you're flustered.

Speaker 1 So I just, I want Justin Fields in the third and I want Darren Waller in the fourth for our team.

Speaker 1 That's all I want. Yeah.
Everything else, I'm open. I'm open to the universe.
I'm open to the universe, man.

Speaker 3 But those are rocks.

Speaker 1 But that is

Speaker 1 a foundation. Yeah.
Build the hearts of the foundation. And also, you know what?

Speaker 1 Give it up for Chicago.

Speaker 7 Sebastian Meniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep coming.

Speaker 7 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

Speaker 1 This is a poem for Jake. Okay.

Speaker 1 Shout out to my buddy,

Speaker 1 who helped, who really did help me write this.

Speaker 1 He's a great guy.

Speaker 1 Big time AWL. Okay.

Speaker 1 This is a poem for Jake.

Speaker 1 Jakey, Jakey, Jakey.

Speaker 1 Your skills in the announcer booth, simply put, are sick.

Speaker 1 Fucking unreal. That was the toilet.

Speaker 1 Okay, we're starting over. We're starting over.
All right, redo. Redo.

Speaker 1 God, I'm going to fucking. Do you hear it? They've got to hear it on the air, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 A poem for Jake. Jakey, Jakey, Jakey.
Your skills in the announcer booth, simply put, are sick.

Speaker 1 Jakey, Jakey, Jakey. And you never ever denigrate someone's Mount Rushmore pick.

Speaker 1 Jakey, Jakey, Jakey, to the man behind the men who always comes to play.

Speaker 1 Jakey, Jakey, Jakey, to the man who enters chat rooms asking, is Obama gay?

Speaker 1 Jakey, Jakey, Jakey, holding your own with this crew crew every day is quite a feat.

Speaker 1 Jakey Jakey Jakey, even with all that pressure, at least you would have remembered to pay the electric bill, unlike business Pete.

Speaker 1 Jakey Jakey Jakey, we're happy you made the cross-states trek with all the boys.

Speaker 1 Jakey Jakey Jakey, let's hope business Pete didn't fuck up again and in the new studio we get all that Chicago street noise

Speaker 1 or shit.

Speaker 1 Jakey Jakey Jakey, unlike Hank, you don't hate the libs and you don't hate hate the commies.

Speaker 1 Jakey Jakey Jakey, and like a good little boy, every night at seven, you call the daddy and mommies.

Speaker 1 Jakey Jakey Jakey, as an announcer, you are cutting edge and all the trends you are bucking.

Speaker 1 Jakey Jakey Jakey, unlike Max, when getting airtime, you don't boast about all your titty fucking.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I fuck em and my long dick hits their nose.

Speaker 1 Jakey, Jakey, Jakey,

Speaker 1 you've set up shop here, you've staked your claim, you've raised your teepee.

Speaker 1 Jakey, Jakey, Jakey, all of this, even after everyone in your high school sell your little pee-pee.

Speaker 1 Jakey, Jakey, Jakey, you pride yourself on being a man of faith, and you pride yourself on being a man of fun.

Speaker 1 Jakey, Jakey, Jakey, as there is a drive into deep left field by Castellanos, it will be a home run.

Speaker 1 Jakey, Jakey, Jakey, you're as hot as OnlyFans and as exciting as a match on Grindr.

Speaker 1 Jakey, Jakey, Jakey,

Speaker 1 we will always love you. And for that, you can set a reminder.

Speaker 1 Jake, ladies and gentlemen, great job. Thank you, Jerry.
That was fantastic.

Speaker 1 Great job. I'm hanging that up in my apartment.

Speaker 1 Thank you so much.

Speaker 1 Jerry, you're the best man. Ironically enough, he's the boss who I had to go meet the big boss man.
Oh, Jerry O.

Speaker 1 Who helped me write this? He's the big boss man. I didn't say his whole name.
But his name is

Speaker 3 the president of a real company.

Speaker 1 Don't look it up. Come on.
Leave him alone, please. 69.

Speaker 1 Oh, I see. I see.

Speaker 1 Okay, come on. Careful, careful, careful.
Don't get me in trouble.

Speaker 1 Please cut this part out. I'm not sure he wants to be known as like.
Oh, okay. I'm not sure he wants to be known as someone who helped me write.
Hey, what rhymes are titty fucking?

Speaker 1 you know, yeah, yeah, they pants Jake. They saw his dingling in high school.

Speaker 1 Come on, there's like

Speaker 3 HR shit for that.

Speaker 1 Uh, Jerry, you're the best. Thank you so much, as always.
Thank you for making the trek. We love you.
Love you guys. This is why you're a Mount Rushmore.

Speaker 8 Hey, this is Rhea from Chicks in the Office. And this season, we're heading home for the holidays with Abercrombie and Fitch.
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Speaker 1 It's been a great Mount Rushmore season.

Speaker 3 Until the last episode.

Speaker 1 I've enjoyed it. Yeah, until the last episode, I've enjoyed it greatly.

Speaker 1 It's been a lot of fun. I feel like the stakes were fun.

Speaker 3 Hey, can you not sign to the microphone?

Speaker 1 Shut the fuck up. The fact that it came down to those second to last

Speaker 1 Mount Rushmore was great. Remember the beginning of the season when it was like, I think Billy and Jake did.

Speaker 1 It was like three weeks. Yeah, three weeks to get a point.

Speaker 1 But Max and Hank will be the ones in the box. They will be in the isolation chamber.
Probably the best outcome because you get, me and PFT will announce it, and Max and Hank,

Speaker 1 they do not want to be with each other for 24 hours.

Speaker 3 Plus, we get to think of all the ways to fuck with them while they're in the box. Yes.
Man in the arena. How does it feel, Hank? Yes.

Speaker 4 Feels good. I'm excited.

Speaker 3 You're excited?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Do you think that you let Max down?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, you did.
Yeah. 100% did.

Speaker 4 Mistakes were made. It is what it is.
I'm not going to be upset about it. I'm just going to try and make the best out of a shitty situation.

Speaker 1 I like that.

Speaker 3 I don't.

Speaker 3 Jake loves it. I want to torture you.

Speaker 1 No, I mean, listen, you, again,

Speaker 1 I'm not going to denigrate it.

Speaker 4 It's like, yeah, you go, you know, the majority of this podcast was on one team, and then you got the two little slivers on two other teams.

Speaker 1 Stop it. Obviously, you guys are going to win.
You're all of our bosses. It was so close, and you just, you know, it was so close, despite the fact that the two hosts were.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but you gave it, but we did it. We did it.
I feel like we did it as anonymous as possible. There was no retweets, which is probably stupid for us in terms of engagement.

Speaker 1 Like, we probably should change that next year.

Speaker 1 We're going to change things.

Speaker 1 We did not talk about Mount Rushman. An accident.
I know I would have to delete the next tweet because I forgot. Like, oh, I locked the reply.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 When you actually actually look back at the, at the playbook here, it's probably the worst way to promote a podcast. Be like, we're going to do an entire segment all summer and never talk about it.

Speaker 1 But we're here we are. I thought it was as fair as could be, and you still are going to complain.
I'm not complaining.

Speaker 4 It is what it is.

Speaker 3 How would you fix it, Hank?

Speaker 4 I would separate you guys on teams. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right, fine. Maybe next summer we'll do that.

Speaker 4 I thought next summer we weren't doing it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, next summer we're going to do freeform.

Speaker 4 Again, like there were some picks I made that were funny. I did them as a joke and that cost me.
And if being funny is a crime, crime, then put me in the funny. Were they funny?

Speaker 1 What was your funniest pick?

Speaker 4 Oh, man. I mean, when I showed you.

Speaker 1 Jerome Bettis on the Rams?

Speaker 4 That was a good pick.

Speaker 1 That was so funny.

Speaker 4 Peeing next to Ed Sheeran or peeing your pants in Mark Schlareth.

Speaker 1 I think you shouldn't be mad at me in PFT. I think you should be mad that you went up against AI in Jake.

Speaker 1 That's really what happened.

Speaker 4 Again, we talked about it.

Speaker 4 I'm not going to be a sour puss.

Speaker 4 The game's over. The season's over.

Speaker 1 But if you were going to be a sour puss.

Speaker 4 If I was going to be a sour puss, you guys told Billy not to text Jake back and then had memes have to his three people.

Speaker 1 No, we never said

Speaker 1 that. I never told Billy to text Jake back.

Speaker 3 In your grand conspiracy brain, you think that the reason that Billy didn't do work was because we told him not to?

Speaker 1 Also, Billy was actively trying to lose this. If we told him not to, he probably would do it because he'd be like, they're trying to get me somehow.

Speaker 4 But

Speaker 4 those three episodes with memes were

Speaker 4 the X factor.

Speaker 1 Those three, the having to do the hungover because you drank on a weekend.

Speaker 1 you did. It just ended the whole thing.

Speaker 4 It is what it is. I'm honestly, I'm excited.
We'll make some good content out of it. Everyone loves me and Max, which is basically the whole show at this point.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 if people got what they wanted,

Speaker 1 he's not a sour puss, people. Wait, is it a tiny sliver or is it the whole show? You got to.
According to you guys, it's like everyone like.

Speaker 1 People want me and Max. We want it on the record.
He's not being a sour puss about this. I'm not.
I'm excited. I've said that multiple times.

Speaker 1 All right, so you want to do Mount Rushmore pizza toppings for real this time?

Speaker 1 Sure. Okay.

Speaker 1 What's the order? It's me and Billy, Hank, and Max, Big Cat, and PFT. What did AI bring up? Because PFT and I are just doing it off the rip.
Same. Okay.
What about you, Hank? No. Oh, you no prep?

Speaker 1 You prepped? Yeah, I'm ready. Okay.
Okay. Pepperoni.
Oh, good pick. Good pick.
That's what Google said.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 3 I wish Jake hadn't gone first because I just wanted to throw it for Hank again.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I want to do double olives.

Speaker 1 Double olives.

Speaker 4 I'll go spinach.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 no.

Speaker 1 What a baby.

Speaker 1 What a baby.

Speaker 4 That's really, again, I'm not going to complain, but if I wasn't going to complain, I'd tell you guys ruined this entire segment.

Speaker 1 I think that was my first pick two years ago. What a fucking baby.

Speaker 3 All right.

Speaker 3 You know what? Now I want to beat Hank at losing.

Speaker 1 You want to beat Hank at losing? Yeah, we'll go artichokes. Good pick.

Speaker 3 Big catalog.

Speaker 1 And then we have the wraparound?

Speaker 3 Yeah, so for the second one, let's go

Speaker 3 anchovies.

Speaker 1 Okay, anchovies. Good pick.
Good pick. Thanks.

Speaker 4 Give me olives.

Speaker 1 Okay, which kind?

Speaker 1 Black. Okay.
All right.

Speaker 1 Jake? Damn, I can't believe this hasn't been taken yet. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Bacon. Oh, good one.

Speaker 1 Good one, Jake. I can't believe that's stupid of us.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Next. Big meat guy.
Let's go meatballs. Okay, meatballs.
That's good. That's good.
Hey,

Speaker 1 you're back up.

Speaker 4 Let's go. No cheese, no sauce.

Speaker 1 Okay. I can't believe you left us an olive.
Yeah. Would you take black?

Speaker 1 You want to take green olives? You want to take it? I have some. I have another one, too.
All right.

Speaker 1 What were you thinking?

Speaker 3 I was going to say literal human cum. Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 Nice. Little human.
Is that the column? All right. Yeah.
Yeah. No, literal.

Speaker 1 Oh, literal. I'll go with the last pickle.
Let's go beans. Oh, good pick.
Yeah, beans. I love beans on a pizza.
I do toenails.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 What should

Speaker 1 Mr. Elevant be for? You got a lot.
There's a lot left.

Speaker 3 Oh, fuck. I forget about sausage.

Speaker 1 Shit.

Speaker 1 You can get sausage.

Speaker 3 Damn it. Sausage.
See still on the board?

Speaker 1 Sausage.

Speaker 1 Extra cheese?

Speaker 1 Damn it.

Speaker 1 What are you going to take, Jake? Come on. We're going to make this a Mount Rushmore of meat and go barbecue chicken.
Oh, nice. Pepperoni, bacon, meatballs, and barbecue chicken chicken.

Speaker 1 That's a great pick. All right, so read back the.

Speaker 1 So me and Billy have pepperoni, bacon, meatballs, barbecue chicken, tank and max of spinach, olives, no cheese, slash, no sauce. Is that one pick? Yeah, that's sauce.
And toenails. Okay.

Speaker 1 Big cat and PFC, artichokes, anchovies, literal human common beans. Okay.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's going to be a race to see who loses this one. I think we might have you beat it.

Speaker 4 Yeah, we'll probably come in second.

Speaker 1 Oh, Max is very upset. He's like, I'm literally going to lose every bet that ever is made on this podcast.
No second place, though, for Max.

Speaker 1 So, what do we have to do?

Speaker 3 You have to stay in a room for 24 hours.

Speaker 1 We're going to build a box. We're hopefully going to get it sponsored.
And you're going to have to stay in the room for 24 hours. I think we said every couple hours we'll give you.

Speaker 1 I think you said one item every hour gets thrown in. Yes, but the P breaks, we said like every couple hours.

Speaker 1 And yeah, you guys just have to sit there on camera.

Speaker 1 We'll telecast it. We'll talk.
Me and PFT, I think we'll probably have

Speaker 1 Nick help out. And we'll basically do a podcast while we just watch while the AWLs

Speaker 1 watch the two of you have to just sit there with nothing to do.

Speaker 1 Sick.

Speaker 3 Not being sorry.

Speaker 1 It's going to suck so bad, dude.

Speaker 3 Hank, you know, this could have happened to any of us. It is what it is.

Speaker 1 You get one pillow. Yeah, I'll just sleep the whole time.

Speaker 1 That's what I said. I told PFT, I was like, I think Hank can sleep 24 hours.

Speaker 3 It's going to be great watching Hank just fall asleep and Max just pacing around the room.

Speaker 1 Come on.

Speaker 1 Get up. Come on.
No, no, no. You guys should just play.
Maybe we'll put like

Speaker 1 rock, paper, scissors.

Speaker 4 Well, yeah, like, if it was like, you just gave us 24 hours and we could like do stuff that's to entertain people.

Speaker 1 Well, we're going to add things.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, we're going to add things every hour.

Speaker 3 There should be like arts and crafts, maybe painting. Maybe you guys could paint.
Yeah, we'll add fun things. What do you get to do in prison? Read the Bible?

Speaker 1 I think the first hour you're just gonna have to sit there and then we'll we'll slowly add some things, maybe some fun things.

Speaker 1 Okay. Maybe, what if we do like the hot dog thing where like if they do a task, time gets chipped away.

Speaker 1 I don't know. At least 24 hours.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 This would be funny.

Speaker 4 It'd be so funny if you, whatever.

Speaker 1 Whatever. No.
What are you going to say? It doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 It doesn't matter.

Speaker 4 No, I'm not saying it. Say it.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 4 I'm excited for the opportunity.

Speaker 3 No, say it. say it.
Say it.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 3 I'm not going to talk until you say it.

Speaker 1 Come on, Hank. Say it.
What were you going to say?

Speaker 1 Say it. You fuck.
You fuck you.

Speaker 1 Can you please say it? Please, Hank.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. You're ruining.
You're ruining this. Come on.
Please. Please say it.
No. Why? Because

Speaker 4 you're going to be sour posted complaining about it.

Speaker 1 No, No, but you're gonna say, all right, so text it to me. I'll say it.
So you don't have to say it. Perfect.
PFT, do the last ad, and then we'll say it.

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Speaker 1 Okay, Hank, did you text me? Mm-hmm. Okay, Hank said.

Speaker 1 If

Speaker 1 PFT and Hank had to do this.

Speaker 1 No, read what I said.

Speaker 4 If PFT and Hank had to do this punishment.

Speaker 1 If PFT and I, this is you saying it. No, this is you saying it.
Had to do this punishment. We would have been such babies about it and made it so we can do activities.

Speaker 1 We would say it would be boring for the viewers otherwise. We said we're going to give you activities.

Speaker 3 We just said painting.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Arts and crafts.

Speaker 1 We would have done the same rules. We made the rules before.
You get one thing added every single hour.

Speaker 3 That's why I didn't say it. We would have figured out a way to make it.

Speaker 1 Good thing you didn't say it. I know.
Because it was wrong.

Speaker 4 Correct, which is why I didn't say anything and you guys cried.

Speaker 1 That's fair. I can't, you know what? We can't get mad at him for not saying it because he didn't say it.
He texted me and I said it.

Speaker 1 But if you, the, if you had said what you were thinking, you'd have been wrong. Correct.
Right. But I can read your mind right now.

Speaker 1 Hank, Firefest of the week.

Speaker 1 Do you?

Speaker 1 Some people are saying.

Speaker 1 Some people are saying

Speaker 1 you like two episodes ago declared summer over and time to work. And since that moment, you've been grumpy.
Some people are saying that. I'm not grumpy.
I'm happy.

Speaker 4 I literally said I'm excited for the opportunity.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 3 Think of all the exposure you're going to get, Hank. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Dude, you should sell ads on your body. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, you make some money.

Speaker 1 I honestly.

Speaker 1 Nah, I'm not. Again, I'm done.

Speaker 1 I can't be honest on this show.

Speaker 4 I can't be honest on the show. I know it'll get used against me, so I'm not going to say anything.

Speaker 1 Text me, Texas. No, no, absolutely not.

Speaker 3 That was going to be really mean.

Speaker 1 That was going to be so mean.

Speaker 4 No, no, I was going to say something honest about myself and that you guys would have used it against me during the stream. I was going to say something that I'm thinking and fearful of.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. Spiders? Working? Snakes? No.

Speaker 3 Staying awake?

Speaker 4 I've been here for 17 hours today. I'm exhausted.

Speaker 4 And we can do a group fire effects, I think, because of yesterday.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yep.

Speaker 3 I was going to talk about that too.

Speaker 4 Groove Firefest.

Speaker 4 Do you have another one?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I'll do another one. We can all share on this one.

Speaker 4 Groove Fire Effect yesterday. We filmed some videos for Bushmills, some golf videos.
One of the videos was speed golf.

Speaker 4 And my whole body is broken.

Speaker 1 Oh. Yeah.
I'm so injured.

Speaker 3 My back is just shattered.

Speaker 1 Electric video, though. Worth it.

Speaker 1 It was my hammy, my back. My shoulders hurt this morning.
I don't know how you can hurt your shoulders running,

Speaker 3 but I did. I was dehydrated.
I woke up up this morning with a headache because I was pissing orange.

Speaker 1 It was a real awakening that we're not young bucks anymore.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I was looking at my health stats yesterday from because we both logged it on our watches because we were exercising playing golf.

Speaker 3 It's actually very sad how high my heart rate got just from playing golf yesterday.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was incredibly sad. Incredibly sad, but it's going to be a very, very funny video.

Speaker 4 I don't like what Shane and Memes are laughing at.

Speaker 1 What? Just how bad we looked. I just keep laughing at the final hole.
Oh, yeah. Evan just driving on the.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Evan, Evan Pug,

Speaker 1 who does a great job with our YouTube. I don't think we have this on video, but we were just standing there wrapping the video, and he just drove his cart on the green.

Speaker 1 And we all were like, dude, what are you doing? He was one hand on the top of the steering wheel.

Speaker 1 In the most casual, what? You can't do this?

Speaker 1 He's like, I don't golf. I don't know.

Speaker 1 It was so good. So, so good.

Speaker 4 I probably laughed harder than I ever have in my life, though, watching Big Hat Sprint.

Speaker 4 It was fast. It was funny.

Speaker 4 And then this isn't really a fire. This is a future fire fest.

Speaker 4 I'm going to my first bachelor party with my friends, people I grew up with. I went to my brothers, but this is my first

Speaker 4 friend group bachelor party.

Speaker 3 30 dudes, Nashville. That's way too many dudes.
Three days.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 It's the opposite of Morgan Wallen concert.

Speaker 4 And then we have, you know, football starting after. So I'm already.
You thought I was grumpy this week oh

Speaker 1 coming off a three-day bachelor party at Nashville we should do one last Mount Rushmore for when Hank comes back super hungover yes maybe even three of them good luck Hank yeah thank you I've been to a bachelor party in Nashville it was so much fun but it took so much out of me three days too I feel like most of you are like two days you got to get a picture in front of those angel wings yeah do that yeah no actually when I went on my the bachelor party my friend's bachelor party in Nashville it was 2014

Speaker 1 and it was Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and then the Blackhawks played game seven against the Kings on Sunday.

Speaker 1 So we went to the bar in Chicago, and I was, and they lost in overtime in the Western Conference Final. I was just a beaten, beaten man.

Speaker 4 Yeah,

Speaker 4 it's gonna be lots. You know, it's the first bachelor party in the friend group.
I feel like people are gonna be turned up to a 20.

Speaker 3 How many houses are you getting?

Speaker 4 It's like two townhouses next to each other. It's like all my friends I grew up with and then all of his like college hockey friends.
Yeah, that's two houses.

Speaker 3 That kicks asses.

Speaker 3 That's a lot lot of dudes though a lot of dudes a lot of dudes a lot of dudes okay pft uh my fire fest is i feel like shit from golfing and also uh the super moon did you guys see the super moon last night

Speaker 3 It's the last super moon, I think, until 2037. It was a big deal.
Apparently, it makes dogs act fucking insane. So Blake did not bite my penis again, but he bit every other part of my body last night.

Speaker 1 Whoa. Because of the Super Moon.
The Super Moon.

Speaker 3 Because the Super Moon did it. And the Super Moon, for some reason, I think it's been studied that kids also misbehave a lot during Supermoons.

Speaker 1 Really?

Speaker 3 Yeah, the tides or the gravity. The gravity affects their little bodies more.
So I've heard a lot of people had dogs that were fucking around yesterday. So that's because of the Supermoon.
Super Moon.

Speaker 3 Blake woke me up at 3 a.m. He woke me up at 6 a.m.
He peed in the house. He bit me again every part of my body except for my penis.
Shout out, Blake. He's learning.

Speaker 3 But yeah, the Supermoon fucked my dog.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's not good. That is not good.
Supermoon. They become wolves.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I had a pretty good week, except for my body being broken.

Speaker 1 Oh, I can't. Maybe someone can help me who's listening to this.

Speaker 1 On the ESPN app, I'm trying to get all my, I've been doing test runs of the new channels, streaming. Everything's got to be set for the first college football weekend.

Speaker 1 On my ESPN app, on my phone, I can't log out of my old cable provider, so I can't watch games on my phone. Yeah, I went through.
Oh, how?

Speaker 4 Actually, that's happened. I've had the same issue.

Speaker 1 How do I do it? They won't let me sign out.

Speaker 3 I went through that with Fox Sports during

Speaker 3 some soccer thing that was happening.

Speaker 1 This is such a disaster. Yeah, it's tough.
Because I need to be able to, like, there's a lot of times when, like, I was tonight, I was laying in my son's

Speaker 1 room before he went to bed. I was in the bottom bunk trying to watch the game.
Couldn't do it. Just furious.

Speaker 3 I think I just hit every button, every combination of buttons possible until it logged me out.

Speaker 1 So, someone, please help me. Someone, please, please, please help me.

Speaker 1 Okay, Jake, wrap us up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I ordered a couch and it was damaged in transit. Pretty sad.
Natural Fire Fest, not something that happened on the golf course?

Speaker 1 I mean, I guess we'll have to wait for the video.

Speaker 3 No spoilers. How damaged was it? I want to spoil it.

Speaker 1 So spoil it. No.
No, don't spoil it.

Speaker 1 You can bleep that.

Speaker 1 Just bleep that.

Speaker 1 They sent me a used one instead.

Speaker 3 The new one will be used.

Speaker 1 Well, the new one will be sent. It's probably got to come on.

Speaker 3 So wait, the one that you got was used. Yeah, just temporary.
How could you tell?

Speaker 1 Temporary.

Speaker 1 They told me. Oh, wait.

Speaker 3 No, I'm saying the one that got fucked up.

Speaker 1 They never even sent it. Oh, they didn't.
They told me on the phone. It was damaged.
Got it.

Speaker 4 Got it.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, at least you have a regular apartment now, right? Yeah. Yeah.
It's coming together. You've been here six weeks.
Yeah. You'll get your couch figured out.
It'll be fine. It'll be fine.

Speaker 3 Jake knows that couch has to be able to withstand some heavy pounding. Yes.

Speaker 1 Yes. Mr.
Positions needs a lot of bend on that couch.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Next week, three shows, as tradition, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday. Football's all the way back.
We have an awesome interview with Phil Yates coming, which is a full NFL preview.

Speaker 1 Probably going to get Pete Prisco, our good friend Pete Prisco on. We also have a great interview with Dan Patrick coming on Friday.
It's going to be a great week.

Speaker 1 Everyone, enjoy your last weekend where you don't, you know, you can see your family on a Sunday, all that stuff, because after this weekend, it's go time, baby. Um, all right, numbers.

Speaker 3 I'll do 69 this time. Three.

Speaker 1 18. I'll do 17.
Memes, you ever gotten this?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 What is your guess? One. What's your guess, Shane? 10.
10. 10.

Speaker 1 53.

Speaker 5 If you pardon my tick,

Speaker 5 the number one spot podcast on the charts and in your heart.

Speaker 5 Hey,

Speaker 5 football die for these on AWS.

Speaker 5 Yeah,

Speaker 5 for the

Speaker 5 day,

Speaker 5 yeah,

Speaker 5 for them my shit,

Speaker 5 yeah,

Speaker 5 for the

Speaker 5 day,

Speaker 5 yeah,

Speaker 5 pardon my tape

Speaker 5 Yay, burn and my tape

Speaker 5 Running hot and through my crowd

Speaker 1 through the kitchen and hot and fresh out the kitchen Mama rollin' that's how we got everything

Speaker 1 within This a bit I'm talking wrong like your water

Speaker 1 weekend day I'm about to knock you from all

Speaker 1 stop poppin' in the fresh navigator

Speaker 5 It's part of my tape

Speaker 5 The number one spot podcast on the charts and in your heart.

Speaker 1 I can crush out the kitchen. I'm a road and everybody got a feeling with you.

Speaker 1 I'm like a water dunk.

Speaker 1 to have it wrong.

Speaker 1 I don't care about the kitchen. I'm a rollin' everybody got it.
Do that in the wishing. Boys, boys, boys, boys.

Speaker 5 It's Pardon Might.

Speaker 5 The number one spot podcast on the charts and in your heart.

Speaker 5 Hey,

Speaker 5 football guy for Dino. AWS.

Speaker 5 Pardon Mike Tate.

Speaker 5 Yeah,

Speaker 5 my day.

Speaker 5 Yeah,

Speaker 5 born my shit.

Speaker 5 Yeah,

Speaker 5 for the

Speaker 5 day.