Fantasy Football Preview with Jerry O’Connell, NFL New Rules Refresher, CFB Is Back, Mt Rushmore of Pizza Toppings And Fyre Fest

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On today's part of my take, we have our very good friend, Jerry O'Connell. In person, he flew to Chicago for 10 hours just to do our annual fantasy football preview with Jerry O'Connell.
And it delivered. He wrote a poem for Jake at the end.
It was a great time. A lot of laughs.
College football's back. We're going to talk about that.
We have the finale for Mount Rushmore's season. We're like a 15-1 team playing none of the starters in Week 18.
Hank is just sad. Hank's on cruise control right now.
Yeah, it's sad. It's sad.
All right. I think it's actually...
It's way more disgusting what Hank did than what we did in the pizza draft. Yes, I'd agree.
But we're going to run back the pizza draft for real this time. Off the dome.
Hank's going for the first overall pick. Yeah, he's going for the first overall pick in next year's Mount Rushmore.
We're going to do Fyre Fest of the week. We're going to send everyone on to Labor Day weekend.
Great long weekend and football's back. I'll give you another bonus in this episode.
Just a prediction off the top. If you've never heard Hank yawn, I think this might be a hot Hank yawn episode.
No, I respect the listeners. Also, I completely forgot we have presentations today.
Oh, yeah. We have the presentations.
Very cool, Jake. New place.
Yeah, new face, new place. Rules.
Are you doing rules? Yeah, rules. And then you to Hank football match.
Yeah, Hank is going to ace his football match. Three-part presentation.
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Now. Oh.
Oh. Oh.
Now in the street, there is violence. Hey, football guy.
But Dean of A.W.

Martin Mike's head.

Yeah.

Martin Mike's head.

Yeah.

Martin Mike's head.

Today is Friday, September 1st.

It's the first of the month.

Wake up, wake up, wake up.

It's the first of the month. We having a wonderful day.
Football's back. And I love it.
And I love it, Big Cat. We got to watch multiple meaningful football games tonight.
It's back for most of us. Yes.
We got to watch. I had Graham Mertz PTSD.
Great kid. They're just kids.
Just a reminder, college football. They're just kids.
Yeah. college football they're just kids yeah but uh

under pressure didn't feel so good it it was not good for him tonight utah looks great even though they don't have their starting quarterback but they still look really good um i say it was back for most of us because there was a big big fiasco going on with cable service tonight yes spectrum and ESPN decided to end their contract,

terminate their contract at kickoff for Utah, Florida. So if you have Spectrum, you got treated to the pregame shows and then a fade out to black at kickoff.
That is terrorism. These are terrorists that we're dealing with.
And you're making me choose between Spectrum, a cable company that everybody hates, because

we hate all cable companies, it seems like, and then ESPN.

And you don't have a winner.

I don't want to root for either one of these sides, because I'm sure ESPN is charging a

fuckload of money to the cable companies.

The cable companies rip you off every month when they make you pay your cable bill.

And now they're just cutting service off at the worst possible time to start the year this is injustice fucking terrorism is what it is injustice this should be we should march on washington we should uh this is bullshit i'm boycotting espn until next next monday night okay i was gonna say until tomorrow night i think they have a couple games tomorrow okay so i'll boycott yeah. The good news is, though, people who are watching on Fox got to see football in its purest form.
I'm talking about Nebraska-Minnesota. First half, can I read seven possessions? Seven possessions, punt, punt, field goal, interception, missed field goal, interception.
There's actually six possessions. So I think Nebraska's got it all figured out.
They don't need to step it up to compete with the Ohio States of the world. They just need to drag everybody down to their level.
Yes. And then beat you with experience.
Yeah, get them into the depths. Yeah, drag them to the depths and wait for them to drown.
Yes. Also, the replay official in that game should be investigated.
Agreed. That was bullshit what happened in Nebraska at the end of the first half.
But ball don't lie. They back, scored a touchdown early.
Yeah, but that also was very much a Nebraska. Like, you can just tell a team like Nebraska, and I do think Matt Rule's a good college football coach.
Notice I said college football. When a team like Nebraska has something like that happen to him, I even said it out loud.
We were all watching. I was like, they're getting zero points here.
Next play interception. You know what I love about Matt Rule rule is that everywhere he goes he makes the team that he joins design a smock for him to wear it's like the smock follows him he won't join your program unless you have a smock designer on point there are a few of those guys like i'm sure that chris would get the custom-made sweatshirts anywhere they went to heather gray sweatshirts yes um the uh the uh john dorsey the gm now he's with the lions he was with the chiefs and the browns earlier he had those same like we saw him gray sweatshirts that he he gets made especially for him everywhere he goes and we saw him in detroit and he was the only one in the building rocking that sweatshirt i think it goes even further than clothes i think like if dabbo ended up somewhere else he would be like let's build a hill so i can run down first.
Yeah. In front of everyone.
Yeah. Because it is about me.
I've noticed that. Not the kids.
Urban Meyer, he just spends everywhere he goes. There's some college girls around him.
There's some buttholes. Kind of wild.
Ready to get fingered. Yeah, but college football's back.
It's great to see all the games out there. I don't really.
I was thinking about it earlier today. Like, I love the NFL.
The NFL is obviously the best sport in the world, but there's something about the chaotic nature of college football that you can't expect. What you're watching sometimes just isn't football.
It devolves into some other type of sport. Even that Nebraska play is a perfect example.
It's so entertaining. NFL is like you go in and you know's going to be like a 9 out of 10 movie every single time.
College is like you could be watching a 5 out of 10. Then it's an 11 out of 10 out of nowhere.
Sometimes the like 2 out of 10 games are the best in college football. Yeah, Nebraska's touchdown that they had.
It was on a like a pass back to their quarterback who then batted the ball forward in a touching tribute to their volleyball team that filled the stadium with like 90,000 people. Shout out them.
That was incredible. It was awesome.
92,000 people. 92,000 people who watch women's volleyball is awesome.
Women's volleyball doesn't get enough credit. It's a fun sport to watch.
It is. Every time I watch it, I get fooled watching from the camera angle.
I'm like, no, jump in the air now. There's like three people jumping to spike it.
It's crazy. Yeah, it is a very fun sport to watch.
That was very cool. First televised broadcast I ever did.
ACC Network Extra Women's Volleyball, Syracuse Georgia Tech. Wow.
Okay. That was a fun fact there.
People put that in your Jake trivia. Shout out Liberos.
Shout out Liberos. They're the ones who wear the different color.
Oh, yeah, that's right. That's what they called them.

We didn't want to get this deep. We just call them the captains.

Yeah, we complemented women's volleyball.

We don't have to.

We spent a lot of time talking about women's volleyball.

Yes.

And probably more time than baseball.

Dingers only.

Okay, so now the football's back.

We have a couple of presentations we're going to do today.

We're going to. Jake has new memes.
Did this memes of the memes and i collabed okay so are you gonna be able to put this in the youtube are we gonna be able to put this in the youtube for the people how are we gonna be able to see this right now um i sent it to them i sent it to evan it'll be in the youtube okay but what about us right now i can just like okay all right put it right there yeah all right Yeah. We We could put it on the TV too Let's do that Yes, put it on the TV Memes Jake joint Okay, a memes and Jake collab Joint I noticed that you just put by Jake Marsh though Well, yeah, that was Okay, great So memes has been completely erased Well, you're part of this too Me? Oh, I'm doing a quiz with.
Well, yeah, that's what I have as part two of the presentation. Okay, the football math trivia.
Yeah, yeah. Okay, this is to get everyone ready for football season.
It's very important for everyone to listen to. I'm sure you nailed this PowerPoint.
Right off the bat, I like two things, Jake. One, you did part one, part two, part three in Roman numerals, which is great.
That's like football, you know, Super Bowl stuff.

And then you say all information courtesy of the NFL.

Yeah.

Thank you for doing that.

And Jake, make sure you explain each slide for the podcast listeners.

Obviously, we're going to put this on the YouTube as well.

Yes.

Okay.

All right.

So starting with part one.

How many slides are there, by the way?

I'm already bored.

22, but 10 of them.

Oh, my God.

No, wait, wait, wait.

Kill me now. 10 of them are just like bang bang you guys guess okay yeah yeah check you gotta say that they're pictures and okay okay all right 22 that was like when you like go like a trainer works you out they're like we're gonna we're gonna do like eight different things and then we're gonna run a mile it's like well, I can't do this.
You should have told us there were five slides

and then just kept on surprising us with more.

There's only three parts.

You got to understand.

And you're one of them.

Okay, yeah.

You keep saying that.

My thing is very easy.

Hank, 14 plus three.

17.

Two touchdowns in an extra point.

What?

Two touchdowns in an extra point.

Two touchdowns in one extra point? Two touchdowns in an extra point. What? Two touchdowns in an extra point.
Two touchdowns in one extra point? Two touchdowns in an extra point. 13.
Okay, that was slow. That was very slow by you.
You had to ask it twice. Because his mind went to like, wait, is a touchdown worth seven? Yeah.
Yeah. 28 plus 14.
42. Okay, that was quick.
Hank's getting better. All right, I have one.
Hank, what is the difference between these two scores? 31 to 17. 14.
42. Hank's getting better.
I have one. Hank, what is the difference between these two scores? 31

to 17. 14.

Yeah, that's pretty good. Nice.

In my opinion, that's the biggest 14

point lead in football. That's huge.

Are you guys going to sprinkle those trivia

questions in throughout? Yeah, we'll just do that.

Yeah, yeah. Four touchdowns, four

extra points, three field goals. No.

Come on. Four touchdowns, four extra points, three field goals.
No. Come on.
Four touchdowns, four extra points, three field goals. Four times six.
Come on, Hank. 24.
Why would you just do four times seven? Four touchdowns, four extra points. 28.
Three field goals. 28, 37.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. He's hot.
He's hot. Don't let the boy cook up.
I thought we had this math conversation. Three touchdowns.
No. Two extra points.
One two-point conversion and a safety. This is the worst podcast I've ever heard.
We didn't even get through one Jake slide. I was hoping that if we did enough math, Jake would just leave and we would have to do this.
All right, here we go. We got the rule changes.
I feel like I'm back in school. Rule changes.
The first rule change, instant replay reversal. Under two minutes, if something is reversed, the play clock is reset to 40 instead of 25.
That's when the guys are all going like this. Okay, that's the easy one.
Okay, okay. But there is a little, like, specific.
Fuck that, pass through it. Okay.
Also, inside two minutes, if there is a reversal, they will potentially do a 10-second runoff or charge a team timeout. I'm confused.
Go to the next slide. All right.
This one's actually good. Okay.
If you all failed fourth down conversions are automatically reviewed like touchdowns. I like that.
Oh, okay. That is good.
Yeah. We would have known that.
Exactly. But if it's successful and a team wants to review it being reversed, you have to challenge that.
Right. Got it.
On the defensive side. And head coaches are prohibited from challenging a failed fourth down conversion.
Right, because it's automatically reviewed. Yeah, got it.
So you don't need to burn a challenge. So I think that benefits everyone.
I actually really like that one. Okay.
like that okay okay good good rule they want to clarify the use of the helmet the biggest thing i got um what was his background choice it's band-aids okay uh yeah powerpoint like auto-generated some of them i feel like this one fit because of injuries um the biggest thing with use to the helmet is helmet to helmet is obviously what we know but you can get penalized for a helmet to any part of an opponent's body so if you look at

this next slide you see those two examples i pointed out they're not technically helmet to

helmet but if you use your helmet as a weapon correct all right so i maybe i'm naive here

you might be penalized every single play you could find something that a defensive player does

Thank you. weapon correct all right so i maybe i'm naive here jake but we're probably gonna see a lot more you might be penalized every single play you could find something that a defensive player does it could result in a bigger gray area what about running backs yeah yeah fuck can't do it hank the total is 50 and a half give me a winning score for your over 25 26 nice that's good good job All right.
Yeah. yeah you guys are right like your helmet's used almost every play yeah okay this is gonna be a disaster how they call this um but it's just point of emphasis for the season uh tripping is now personal file 15-yard penalty i'm not exactly sure what it was before but it wasn't this so now it's even worse was worse.
Was tripping 10 yards? It might have been 10. It might have been 10 yards before.
It doesn't happen often, but okay. Yeah, the first thing that comes to mind is that Jets coach against the Dolphins.
Oh, on the sidelines? Yeah, well, old heads would know Mike Tomlin, although he didn't fully trip. He just stood in the way.
He tried to trip. Jacoby Jones? What about when Aaron Rodgers takes his teammates down to Costa Rica? Ah, I see what he did there.
Nice. Tripping.
Yeah. Now you're tripping, Jake.
Yeah. Jake's not familiar with that.
No, he's not. No.
You guys have talked about this a little bit. The New Jersey number categories.
You may think, oh, Teddy Bridgewater wore 50. Preseason, apparently you're allowed to wear whatever you want.
Okay. So regular season, zero is obviously in play and a few other changes.
Okay, this actually makes sense. So linemen are 50-79, defensive linemen 50-79, 90-99.
They kept it. I like this.
Quarterback wearing zero would be legendary. I don't know if anyone is, but that would be really bad.
No, but that would be badass. A kicker wearing zero would be terrible.
Worst running back number, 47. That would be a pretty bad running back number.
That seems like fullback. That is, yeah.
Yeah, that's like an H-back, I think. Yeah, yeah.
Okay. And these are the last two rules of note that I thought were important.
If you're penalized on the last play of a half, the offense doesn't get the benefit of replaying the down. Okay.
That's smart. Yep.
Okay. That's lame.
Hail Marys. They're fun.
And then lastly, I really think this is a good one. It's the Brock Purdy rule.
Yeah. Teams will now be allowed to carry an emergency third quarterback on the active game day roster that's not part of the 53-man.
That's why Nathan peterman got keep got dropped out there's like the goalies in the stands yeah pretty much hank so like the patriots for example they could be doing this they only need to need to have uh mac jones on the 53 man and just have a game day quarterback as the backup you guys got matt corral i think yeah yeah so he might cunningham yeah so matt corral he might not to be on the 53-man. He can just be the game day.
Do the Patriots have too many good quarterbacks? Some are asking. Yeah.
So those are your rule changes. Thanks, Jake.
Very cool. Good job.
Good job. I had your part built in.
Yeah, we did my part. Hank passed the test.
That was pretty cool, Jake. I don't know if it was.
It wasn't very cool.. I mean, it's rules.
It can't be very. No, but it's good because there's a couple of nuggets that you need to sound smart when someone's like, hey, why are they challenging this failed fourth down? Pretty much what they did was they gave the NFL refs the opportunity to throw a flag on any play that they want to throw a flag on.
Right. For the helmet thing.
Right. Okay.
So just heads up. That's major NFL rigged vibes right there.
Hank, 27 plus 15. 42.
I didn't know that one. Yeah, that was good.
That was a Swami score right there. Hank, I think you're ready for NFL season.
Fuck it. You are.
It feels good. I'm excited.
Three touchdowns, two extra points, and a field goal. Three touchdowns.

There it is.

He's ready.

57 plus 24.

71.

That's probably right.

No.

I think it's 81.

81.

That's a big 12.

That's not NFL.

Okay.

Good job, Jake.

Thanks.

Now the third and final part of our presentation,

we have 10 guys.

This was kind of spoiled by Jerry O'Connell earlier. Yeah, we were giants.
But Darren Waller, for those listening. Tune into Jerry's fantasy preview.
Darren Waller is a very important piece of his draft strategy. Would you guys have known this before this morning? Yes.
Yeah. Okay.
It gets a little harder. Okay.
Memes approved all of them. Okay.
All right. That was nice.
And I have cool animation. That was throwing memes under the bus just in case.
Yeah, just in case. No, it was.
Memes approved all of them. In case you have an issue with it, this also went through memes.
And I noticed memes wasn't on the title card. Nope.
Yeah, that should have been. That's on me.
Miles Sanders. Miles Sanders is on the...

No, I know this.

Fuck.

I don't know this.

I'm going to guess... Is he on the Lions?

No.

No.

They got Taylor Swift.

He's on the Panthers, Jake.

Yes.

Let's go.

Panthers.

All right.

Okay.

So you got PFT is two for two.

Leader in the club. We're doing scores? No, Jake's right.
All right. We don't have to.
No, no, we are. Okay.
So you got PFTs two for two. Leader in the clubhouse.

We're doing scores?

No, Jake's right.

All right.

We don't have to.

No, no, we are.

No, that's fine.

Allen Robinson.

Saints.

I'm going to go with the Browns.

Allen Robinson.

Where is he?

Oh, I don't know. I don't know.
Texans. Steelers.
Oh, yeah. Jake, that's Allen Robinson II that you put up there.
Okay. I now remember Jersey Jerry being like, Allen Robinson's a beast.
I was like, yeah, like four years ago. Yeah.
Okay. All right.
Number four. Gardner Minshew.
Yeah, he is a cult. Yes, he is.
Our favorite team. Mm-hmm.
Yep. Okay.
Kicker, Brandon McManus. Oh, man.
He was on the Broncos for a long time. I think this is the Saints.
New Orleans Saints. I think he's on the Saints.
He's a player.

Trained from,

yeah, Will Lutz.

Yeah.

Fitting for a Jerry O'Connell episode that we talk kickers

from a fantasy perspective.

No one takes a kicker

to the last round.

Except for Justin Tucker.

Well, he's the kicker

of the Jaguars,

so he might be relevant

this season.

Okay.

He's not on the Titans.

That's all I know.

Okay.

Jarrett Stidham.

We're failing this.

Well, he actually is

on the Saints.

Jarrett Stidham is?

Yeah.

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah,

because I remember

in the the titans that's all okay okay don't have jared stidham we're failing this well he actually is on the saints jared stidham is yeah okay yeah yeah yeah because i remember and we were watching a uh i don't think he is on the saints tank no you just you just said that with such confidence is he on the sex no uh stidham is texans i think he's on the broncos oh yeah he's. Okay, cool.
Okay, Jared Sid is on the Broncos. These are very hard.
Sorry. No, that's okay.
It was Meme's fault. No.
You said that. Nelson Aguilar.
Didn't he just get... Raiders.
Didn't he just get signed today? Let's not view this as a trivia. Let's just view it as informational.
Okay. Well, no, you started keeping scores.
Yeah, that was stupid of me.

Not the Bucs, Panthers.

I don't like this year.

You're taking the competition.

Everyone gets a trophy?

I think it's the Saints.

Come on. What team is he on?

He's a Raven.

Oh.

The Ravens just went and got every receiver this year, huh?

All right.

Three more.

Dalton Schultz.

Isn't he on the Bills?

No, that's all in Kincaid. cardinals texans texans great mike gusicki oh he's uh i remember no i don't we talked about this in the last episode anyway yeah for him playing for failing this so bad packers hank he's your tight end oh There you go, man.
Huge. All right, last one.

Running back Devin Singletary from the Bills to? Saints. Texans.
Got to be the Saints. I'm just guessing Texans.
Big Cat got it. Yeah.
Texans. My strategy of guessing Texans for every player worked.
Jake, who won? I think me and Big Cat tied. I think we tied.
Hank came in last. The listeners lost.
Yeah. And then the final slide.
Reminders for reminders coming up. Oh, this is big.
Okay. Read them all.
So right now we have remind Big Cat and PFT to take Patrick Mahomes to win the AFC West. Done.
Should we take him? Okay. Yeah, I'm going to do it.
All right. Patrick Mahomes, Chiefs to win the AFC West.
And then the following are all week one reminders. Colts haven't won in nine straight week ones.
Okay. Fade the Chargers in week one.
Yep. Disregard all your week one reminders.
Okay. PFC, don't believe in Carson Wentz if he starts.
Okay. Not an issue.
And then if a bad team is good after the first three weeks, just wait. Okay.
But also disregard all of these. Wouldn't that be a week three reminder? Yeah, disregard all of these.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just had it.
had it yeah okay and thank you for your time okay great job the graphic on this last slide is is just the dimensions are all distorted as possible stretched it out yes but yeah there you have it thank you very much presentation great job very cool jake thank you very cool uh That felt good. I feel like we're ready to go.

I'm back in foot.

My body is ready for football.

I know.

It's so ready.

It's so ready.

I just want football inside me.

What else do we have?

Anything else of note that we need to talk about?

There was that awesome port-a-potty fight.

The chicks at the Morgan Wallen concert. That was pretty good.

I saw the video and I was like, Morgan Wallen concert.

Yeah.

You knew right off the bat.

That was awesome.

It was straight like Monday Night Raw. I don't think there were any fights at the Taylor Swift concerts.
No. Well, it was probably just passive aggressive like bitchiness.
I think all of them had just broken up with their boyfriends. They were just all crying together.
Yeah. Okay.
Oh, shout out Alec Ingold. Yes.
Alec Ingold got paid today on a fullback sliding scale, but 17 million, not bad for a fullback. That's pretty damn good.
I also was saying, we talked about Ronald Acuna the other day because of the fans, and it dawned on me that Ronald's just a weird name. Ronnie.
We just don't even think about it. Like, he's the best player in baseball.
His name is Ronald. His name should be Ronnie.
Ronnie A. Ronald.
Oh, and Cooper Cup got hurt again. Yep.
The Rams are going to be the worst team in the league. I don't think they're going to be the worst.
I actually have a new proprietary betting strategy for this year. It's hot.
Okay. Just fade the Cardinals.
Fade the Cardinals. I don't believe their head coach.
I don't believe. I don't believe.
Pew, pew, explosives. Explosives.
He did like the fire up speech for the guys.

You know how like Salah did the crow versus the eagle thing.

His speech was just like looking around the room being like, who here took the bus to get here?

Well, you better light a fire if you don't have that fire because we're here to do one thing and that's win football games.

Yeah.

And I was like, fuck this guy.

Yeah.

I'm out. Yeah.
He's. Yeah.
I like that. Faye the Cardinals and the Rams.
Yep. Big time.
Set a reminder. What about they play each other? Because that happens twice.
Tie, tie, tie, tie, tie. You can get some juicy odds on ties.
Yeah, you can. I also had one of the other things.
Jake, actually, can you remind us to bet ties when the Cardinals and Rams play each other? Thank you. I did a meet and greet at Mariano's this morning for Stella Blue.
It was great seeing people come by. One person asked me a question that's just been in my head the entire time.
He said that he and his friends are having this debate. Jake, do you put deodorant on your socks? No.
Okay. He explained it to me.
He's like, I feel like Jake's the type of guy when he goes out and golf like we'll have like a deodorant stick for his socks to keep him not smelling sometimes keep a stick in my golf bag okay but when he explained it to me i was like yeah i think jake does do that and okay i've seen bugging me all day i've seen old dudes like spray their shoes yeah i don't know what's in those yeah i don't know what's in those either because nothing works nothing works on feet no either you got smelly feet or you don't yeah some feet all right confirmed uh not putting deodorant on your socks that feels good right jake get that out yeah do not because the rumor people were people were buzzing about it yep i'm raising my hand you do no no no no i'm asking for permission. Permission granted.
He was the most awkward interruption. So as you were talking about Ronald Acuna, he hit a home run.
Oh, okay. It was a woe.
Ronald. Whose team is he on? He's on mine.
Oh, okay. So that's how you know.
I have a, you think. Yeah.
So a story just came out two days ago that it turns out that the government of qatar paid 300 million dollars in bribes to the fifa hosting committee what just you know what when you think you know a guy like the emir he was a great host i didn't think he would stoop to this level this is crazy i thought that the the world cup that was hosted in a country where it's 120 degrees in the summer. I thought that that was done on the up and up,

but it turns out,

uh,

yeah,

they,

they paid.

This is actually a pretty sweet gig to be on,

on the board of FIFA on the committee that decides where to put the world

cup.

Yeah.

There were 22 people that split $350 million.

Allegedly.

That's awesome.

Pretty cool.

And I don't think it's against the law to bribe like a soccer organization right what laws could have maybe tax laws but in terms of like if if they're not a government official that you're giving money to avoid persecution like right you can bribe anybody right and it was like a whoa that's that's crazy moment for me to realize that bribing people is actually very legal to do yeah you just You just can't do it to like a cop. We should try to get involved in the next World Cup.
Yeah. We'll host it in the new Chicago office.
Yeah. Everyone will be done by 2028.
Yeah. So we'll be good.
Pete. Oh, I had one last thing.
Breaking moves. Adam Schefter reported earlier today.
Not breaking moves. TJ Hawkinson's ear infection and back pain, which limited his practice time this summer, feel much better today.
Because he got paid. Yeah.
So no more ear infection. That's good.
One of the funniest breaking news is he's like, it reads like sending in a report to like your teacher for your kids. Like, yeah, he's feeling, flu is gone.
Feeling a lot better. He'll be back at school tomorrow.
He spent all day getting fluids on the couch. So he's good.
Price is right. So yeah, congrats to TJ Hawkinson on his ear being good.
Feels much better. That was one.
We love Schefter. We give him shit.
That was 100% a text from an an agent i actually think that the way that he was trying to phrase it was like all that money makes his ear feel better much i don't think it was him just being like good news tj hawkinson's ear isn't leaking anymore feels much i think it was like money cures everything he's being cute he's being cute i don't like it when he gets he got cute with it yeah he's a robot he used to be robot. He is.
He's a very cute robot. I want to just boop him.
Yeah. Yeah, with the Hawkinson news, I get the vibe from a lot of Vikings fans that they're kind of halfway in, halfway out on that because they're pissed off about the ear infection thing.
Yeah. They're like, he's probably going to ask us for another contract in the next year.
But it's feeling much better. It's better now.
Yeah, it's better now. The money, you just dry up all the fluid in your ear with some money.
It would be very funny if you sat out week one, though, with the ear infection. Ear infection.
I don't think that would go well in the locker room. Okay, let's get to our fantasy football preview with Jerry O'Connell.
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Terms apply. Okay, here he is, Jerry O'Connell.
Okay, we now welcome on one of our favorite guests in the entire world. This man, Jerry O'Connell.
Yeah. I texted him last week and I said, Jerry, the people need JOC's fantasy preview, as is tradition.
And I said, can you do Thursday at 1030 via Zoom? And you just replied, no, I'll just fly out. So Jerry is such a beloved guest and such a good friend.
AWL. AWL.
He took a red eye from California.

He then went to Planet Fitness to get a lift in and a quick shower.

Right.

I had to go number two.

He had to go number two.

$10 a month.

Yeah.

That's it.

Pretty good deal.

That's why I joined there.

You do for the free pizza.

Came to the studio and is going to fly back to LA

at four o'clock today.

Yeah.

Now, my first question is.

Sure.

Would you have done all this if you didn't make the Mount Rushmore of guests uh that's such a good question um that was a real honor I I really have to say it was a real honor I was listening last week to your show and uh Tony Scheffler who did you have on Tony Scheffler and he was so offended that he wasn't on the Mount Rushmore and I gotta tell you I was listening I was listening. I was on the stair machine at my PF, at my Planet Fitness.
I'm not sponsored by them at all. I just like to work out there because it's so cheap.
It's great. It's a good business model too.
It's like, don't work out too hard. So that way you keep coming back.
Here's pizza rolls while you work out. No, let me tell you really why I like, I can't believe we're plugging them so much i'm they i'm not sponsored anyway but i'm starting to think you are no i'm not but i'm gonna tell you why i'm not sponsored because planet fitness is um it's a little rough around the edges especially if you have to change or use locker rooms or like a lot of times you'll get on a bench at planet fitness and a large man will come up and immediately go oh how many how many more you got how many more do you have and it's just it's very aggressive there so you always have to be either lifting or acting like you're about to lift um because it's uh and i really think it it helps me keep my edge working at planet fitness i'm ready for anything for anything.
So, yeah, it's kind of like prison with like a nicer with like better pads on the more colors on the Nautilus machine. I was a member of a gym that is infinitely more expensive, outrageously expensive.
And it rhymes with Equinox. And I was like, why am i paying what i don't want a towel like i'm not gonna like towel myself like i'm not gonna use eight towels this isn't worth it i'd rather just bring my you know snoopy towel in my bag in my like duffel bag and do it rocky style you know did rocky use fresh towels i don't think don't think so.
I, not the one where he was training a cabin, at least I recently became a member of a gym where they, they have like two bars that you have to walk past to get to the actual workout machines. You mean that serve alcohol, not like, not like, not like, not like squat bars.
No, I'm talking like alcohol. Like you have to, you have to pass up alcohol and a full restaurant to get that.
I mean, though. Just make people think that they're at a nightclub.
I worked out at a gym where they had a smoothie bar, and I'd always get a smoothie and say, oh, put some energy in there, put some creatine in there. And then I got really fat working out there because I was like having a thousand calorie shake.
You're like Michael Phelps. And only burning off like 200 calories.
Walking uphill for 30 minutes and then drinking a 3,000-calorie shake. You're like Michael Phelps.
And only burning off 200 calories. Walking uphill for 30 minutes, and then drinking a 3,000-calorie smoothie afterwards.
So it didn't work out, but I'm going to get back to the Mount Rushmore. It's a really high honor.
I mean that from the bottom of my heart. No joking no joking, no shade.
It really, uh, I've, I've known you guys for years. I've been fans.
I think what you do is, um, uh, just a lot of fun. I listen to you all the time and I wanted to, I thought, uh, full disclosure.
I thought I was coming to Chicago to see the new studios that you keep talking about. I told you, I told you many times that it's not open yet, but we will.
And will and this see it i walked in here and i i mean no offense to you or to barstool or to business pete but this is a shit this is a shithole it's not great right now i also should say because i want to hear this until someone upstairs takes a shit yeah no you'll hear the flush i warned jerry that this is the only functional podcast studio, I think, in America that has toilet sound effects built into it.

Yes, you'll hear that.

So you're such a good friend.

You also came.

We had a Stella Blue meet and greet at Mariano's this morning.

Mariano's is a grocer, a local grocer here in Chicago.

Fancy.

Yep.

And we now have Stella Blue in their stores.

So Jerry came by.

And I want one story from Jerry there. He was true jerry he is the same off camera on camera one guy came up to us and he was like hey can you do a shout out for my basket my intramural basketball team sure players nation yeah and he was like i want we have an instagram account can you do a shout out so jerry and i did a shout out for this guy and as the guy was walking away jerry said make sure you tag me in that so I was like this is Jerry but you also started to tell a story that I said stop save it for the show you were in a meeting and being an AWL you got helped you this is so crazy so there's a writer there's an actor strike all of Hollywood is striking another reason why I came is because I I'm married to an actress also supermodel yeah Rebecca Romaine uh look it up I've heard of her um and we're both on strike so we're um how do I say this we're I'm not having a Mitch McConnell moment scabs no we're not scabs no we're not working so we're uh like to get we have to be with each other all the time and my wife is very busy works a lot and now my wife isn't and so i just i i when you said let's do the podcast we can do it over zoom you can stay home i was like you know mr cat please let me get me out of here i have to come to chicago and like there was other family members in front of me and big cat was like um no no you can just zoom and i was like no no you need me in chicago to come to the temporary shithole offices of bar stool um yeah i just had to get the fuck out of there i really did it's um it's crazy it's like the pandemic all over again love my unions love sag love wga union strong we stand with you but uh you are going to take your voice from this interview and just ai it and then we can interview ai jerry we never have to have you on again yeah but what was the story you were going to tell me um oh yeah so i um it's been like a strike and i haven't um been drawing a salary um i haven't getting paid no one has been it's uh we're union strong right and um my agent called me which rarely happens especially these days and and said, the president of this company wants to meet with you.
And it's a big company. I'm not going to say because it's a company.
It's a real company. Sounds real.
Yeah. No, it is.
I swear. I'll tell you off, Mike.
I just don't want to put him on blast because he's like a boss and I don't want to get him.

A real company. A very real company.
Is it Elon? Did Elon want some FaceTime? Is it an insanely real company? You'd be shocked how real this company is. It's an entertainment company.
Okay. It's a real company.
Okay. And I thought my agents made a mistake.
You know, typically they call me. They're like, hey, Ryan Reynolds dropped out of this Stella Blue thing at Mariano's.
Can you like pop in there? We said Jerry's good for it. No one cold calls me.
You know what I'm saying? And I was like, they said, are you i was like yeah fuck yeah get me out of get me out of here yes i'm available so i you know got a blowout i went to this meeting walk into the meeting waiting in the waiting room meet the president the boss um get a fancy water sit down comes in the room the room. Hey, I'm expecting he's going to say, I got the show.
I've got this thing. I really want to attach you to it.
I've had my eye on you all these years. Ever since Kangaroo Jack, I knew it was you.
And here we are. And I'm sitting in there, and he sits down, and he says, hey, I called you in here because I'm an AWL.
I have so many questions about. About PMT.
And we talked about PMT for I mean, it was supposed to be a half hour meeting. It ended up being close to two hours um and it's funny at first i was a little like oh shit i thought my talent yeah got me in this room but no it's just been it's been you guys really so so i did want to say thank you and also like getting back to the whole thing about you know um being a mount rushmore guest it really has had a very positive effect on my life.
It's pretty cool to hear that Bob Iger's that big of a thing. That's awesome.
Did he ask you any fantasy football questions? You know what? This particular guy, I don't think I'll get in trouble for saying this, is a huge Eagles fan. Oh.
Did he want want to advertise on the show did you try to sell some ads uh i i i didn't sell some ads i mean i realize you guys are ad based now that uh the gaming stuff is not there now but uh i i mean i'll be on the lookout now i uh i did sell some coffee today so you did i watched that happen to go to a local grocer and sold. So, yeah.
No, I'm willing to help with some ad revenue. When Penn owned us, we were not allowed to do – I mean, we could do mostly anything, but obviously you can't tie in sex and alcohol and drug use.
And those were Jerry's big three that he would always bring up when he was talking about gambling. We had to cut all of his interviews.
If you thought that Jerry was a great guest before, now you're getting uncut Jerry O'Connell. I was so bummed that whole fisting,

I went on for like an hour about that fisting thing.

And then I listened to the show and it was gone.

Yeah, Jerry and his buddies,

every year they have a fisting fantasy football league

where the loser gets fisted by the other 11 players.

Yeah, and you just like cut it out.

So, well, I can like save that story for this episode. We are to have you jerry we do we do miss you when you're not around um i i feel like we know so much about you because you've been on the show a lot but before you came in i looked up uh jerry o'connell trivia on the way in oh this is gonna be good and so i was wondering if you would like to play some jerry o'connell about yourself.
Sure. Yeah.
Okay. Who was your across the street neighbor when you lived in Chelsea? Oh, um, um, inconceivable Wallace Shawn.
Yep. There you go.
Inconceivable. Remember Princess Bride? Yes.
Um, uh, that guy lived across the street from the apartment that I grew up in, uh, the street I grew up on. And, um, as kids, uh, we were, we were really cool with him.
We didn't like blow him up or anything. Every time we saw him, we would yell inconceivable, inconceivable.
And he loves that. He was into it.
He was into it. I could tell he was like, oh man, that's so cool that I'm, I've been acting my entire life and i'm known as the inconceivable guy kids yelling at me you know that guy actually he lived upstairs from me when i lived in charlottesville for like a year while it's crazy we're neighbor buddy we're still alive uh yeah i believe he's still alive yeah we'll check that what were you ranked at your highest when you were a college fencer 17th 17th in the nation in the nation nationally hell yeah that's pretty good yeah you know it was a big bummer i missed top 10 which makes you all american and still it uh hurts a little bit hurts well sean's still alive okay great yeah i told you huge um so your daughter is a cowboys fan is that true how have we not talked about this yet how did

that happen you know um my my daughters i was really trying to when they were younger when they were like um mr cat's kids ages i was trying to get them into the nfl because uh i've talked about it on the show before it's such a struggle watching football in my house. It is someone I live with hates professional football.
And it's very difficult because Sundays are typically family days. And I've said before, I only get two quarters of football a week.
And I'm hoping now that, you know, we're on strike and we're all home together. I can maybe get two and a half, maybe three quarters of football this season.
Which you are, by the way, we'll say this right now. When we do open the new office, we're going to find a Sunday jerry is going to watch all the games with us oh man and do a show with us afterwards literally do bermans with us you're gonna do everything it's like my oh man it's like my wake it's like my make a wish yes yeah it literally is like my my my make a wish it's gonna be jerry's special day it's I just I still can't believe

you guys get paid to basically watch football all day Sunday and then talk about it for 16, 17 weeks. It's just a dream.
That said, another reason why I wanted to come here, getting back to originally why I wanted to fly out. It's a big move that you guys made.
And I was interested in it. I work in media and in showbiz.
And you got to be in New York or in L.A. And you guys actively moved here.
And I'm intrigued by it. I was intrigued by it.
Now, once you see the space, the new office, which I might even drive you down there and we can take a look at it after this. Let me ask you, with interviews, is it over Zoom? Does something get lost? For a first-time guest, usually.
First-time guest. If it's somebody like you that we've had on before and then you want to Zoom in from your Planet Fitness fitness where you're getting your sets and i think that's what you did last year yeah i went in there that's fine that's good we like wi-fi is not that great at planet fitness a lot of people use it to upload and download stuff uh so it's just very spotty wi-fi but pft is right if it's someone we know and they have a good connection i don't think anything gets lost like we had we had Dan Patrick, which we're going to run next week.
It was a phenomenal interview. Yeah.
Because he had great Wi-Fi. Sure.
He was in his studio. He's in his studio.
We know him. Yeah, not a Planet Fitness.
Yeah, we know him. We have rapport with him.
So those type of guests, like some of our favorite guests are guests that we have on via Zoom and they always deliver. Um, and it's funny.
I was, um, I was just in Minneapolis last week and, um, it's funny. Sports are different.
Um, sports are different when you're not on the coasts, you know? And, and listen, I'm from New York. I'm a huge New York fan.
Like we love our sports, you know? Um, but it's, uh, see if that's toilet flushing. Yeah.
Somebody just took a shit. shit oh my god I can't believe it it was definitely that young lady who I just met I'm not kidding because you have to take a key and I went to the restroom I offered you my sink I'm not going to the restroom in a sink at work especially where there's live where there's like live like twitches going on all the time like the last thing i need is like me getting like like jaked and like everyone's seeing my thing in high school um uh yeah it was definitely that young lady who i met up there i won't say her name because i saw her like wait eyeing the key god that's so embarrassing yeah you could took a big one too.
That was number two. You can hear the turds hitting the sides of the pipe.
Yeah. That was really crazy.
God, I lost my train of thought. That really threw me.
Well, I'll pick up where you were kind of going. Yeah.
And we'll start the fantasy preview. How are you feeling about the Jets this year? It's a big year.
You know what's funny? I've been watching Hard Knocks, and it's funny. When I started to watch Hard Knocks, I was sort of not into it.
First of all, I wasn't into it because, fuck, that's another toilet. That was a double flush.
That was a second flush. Same person.
Yeah, same person. How does Business Pete have a job job i it's it's i mean i can't believe you complained about street noise yeah for all those years seven years and now this is this is actual shit this is like shit noise it's not even like oh the pipes make noise it's like the shit he tests us he's testing he's doing this on purpose why would you have a studio where shit is moving i don't it's a good question yeah this is uh we're playing podcasting on expert mode right now they're just they're turning up the difficulty yeah all right i was gonna talk about hard knocks fuck it's so tough to i just got off a red eye oh okay um uh i had some issues with hard knocks first of of all, is someone flushing that on purpose? Is that chick? Did she just have a triple flusher? You know who I'm talking about, right? Don't say anyone's name because that's like HR stuff.
But like she had a triple flusher. We don't have HR anymore.
HR is Hank. Great.
That first speech that Robert Sala had, that's the opening to Hard Knocks. And so Robert Sala comes out, good-looking guy, and he says, let me tell you something about Eagles.
And I was like, oh, God, are making an eagles reference like i don't know if that's really appropriate let me tell you something about eagles when they get attacked by crows and i was like oh fuck the jets are the crows yes the jets are just gonna fucking peck the eagles and we're just gonna keep pecking and the jets are gonna just keep pecking until they're at the fucking Super Bowl. And he was like, an eagle flies up and the crow dies.
All right, let's get out there. And I was like, God, this is like, remember Dan Campbell's speech about dragging people out to the ocean and we're going to fucking drown them.
And he had a chaw in and he was like, we're going to fucking drown them and we're going gonna pull them out there and then when they come up for air we're gonna pull them back down and that's what we're gonna do to every team we're gonna fucking drown them until their bodies are lifeless okay let's go like it was just so unmotivational and it really made me worried about the jazz yeah actually it was something that like billy football would come up with as an animal fact at the end of a show it's like billy football would have been more motivational i think sorry but the crazy thing is you're right like the eagle should not be the the eagle's not the underdog in the story you're telling a story about a crow versus an eagle and an eagle wins that fight 10 times out of 10 but the eagle strategy is to fly up until the crow suffocates it doesn't even defeat the crow the lack of oxygen defeats the crow and they fall i think we're crows in that metaphor yeah we're all crows in life we're crows we're all crows we've just had fucking hardships we'll never be eagles we don't have rich parents we don't we no one is an eagle what what is that analogy he's making i can't believe also i mean now i'm starting to wake up a little bit i got some stellar blue in me fucking nathaniel hackney oh yeah it's i'll tell you what it is i'm gonna make an analogy as an actor okay as an actor um sometimes big stars okay um when getting a director for a movie say, hey, hire that director. I like that director.
He does what I tell him to do, okay? And the problem is you don't get a director who comes in and goes, hey, Tom, I don't know, I think we should play this with a little more emotion. And Tom is like, no, I'm going to play it it how i'm playing it just go back to the monitor and let me act like you need someone who is a superior who said who's critical right because it makes you better right and the way it looks to me is that that aaron rogers and this may not be a bad thing maybe it'll be a good thing you know maybe you do want a guy like Aaron Rodgers running and this may not be a bad thing.
Maybe it'll be a good thing.

You know, maybe you do want a guy like Aaron Rodgers running an offense

is just basically Nathaniel Hackett is there for Aaron Rodgers.

Emotional support coach.

Yeah.

It's just having a buddy there who, by the way, is, I'm sorry,

not like everyone's like, oh, he's fucking so funny. He's so funny.
I think he is. Nice guy.
I know he was on your show. Nice guy.
I've never said a bad word. I know, but showing Goldmember.
He's very into Goldmember. That's his favorite film of all time.
I mean, I guess the Gold Zone was kind of cool. Yeah, but he's Nathaniel Hackett.
I mean, could you imagine if I just spoke austin powers like scenes like if i just came on your show and i was like all righty then you'd be like get this fucking guy out of here wait was that austin powers who knows you know what i'm saying like gambling if i just came in here and i was like gambling is legal at bushwood sir I never slice. That's Caddyshack?

Yeah, but I mean, it's just...

You know, Austin Powers, he was British. Yeah, baby.
Yeah, there you go. That's the one.
There it is. So I was a little worried about that.
And, you know, it was funny. I do want to say...
Sounds like you're jealous of Mike Myers. That's what it sounds like to me.

Another thing about Hard Knocks that it took a little bit of convincing of me is that typically Hard Knocks is about the crows, the people who are trying to get on the team, the people who are struggling to get on the team, the people who. I mean remember how good man I think it was

Giovanni Bernard when he was like, Honda Odyssey got everything you need. Remember he was pulling up in a Honda Odyssey and it was like so fucking great.
And there was a Honda Odyssey. He's got everything you need.
I got a CD player. I got like everything, you know, and this was the Aaron show.
And at first it like I wasn't used to it. But you know what? I will say I do think Aaron Rodgers is a real star and I do find him magnetic and I do like watching him.
Yeah. I think he he came across way better than a lot of people thought because for the longest time in Green Bay, he, he only gave interviews to select people that he would like handpick and he developed a reputation for kind of being like an asshole right yeah and then we see him on hard knocks and it's like this is a guy that i might want to hang out with yeah he seems friendly people seem to like him oh man i gotta tell you in that first episode when he was saying is zach wilson and uh i don't know his first name boyle when he was like tim every day we're gonna go out we're gonna make friends with someone on another team we're gonna go make we're gonna introduce ourselves to someone in the defense because we're leaders and that's what we do I was really I was inspired by that I was like wow look at him he's he's so so he's he's a lot of fun to watch I still think they're only gonna win eight games sorry folks Oh, man.
Is this you reverse jinxing him, Jerry? I'm not reverse jinxing him. Are you afraid to believe? No, I just.
Listen, me and Big Cat are fans of just disastrous franchises. We're used to not having expectations, and we would be afraid to have expectations, so we know where you're coming from.
Yeah, I'm a Jets fan. I've seen this.
But it's okay to believe. Brett Favre, you know.
Just don't believe so hard that then you turn around and you're like, I feel bad for you guys like Billy did to us last year when the Jets won. You should believe.
You should believe. Believe.
As a Jets fan, you get maybe one of these seasons every 10 years where you're allowed to be like, I think that we can do something magical. And I want you to allow yourself to really explore that part of your brain.

Yes.

To really lean into it.

I'm right now in a very emotionally vulnerable spot with Justin Fields.

Yes.

Because I all the way believe.

Right.

And I know deep down there's a chance that something doesn't go well and then I'll be crushed.

Right.

But the belief is fun.

Right.

Well, we're going to talk about Justin Fields.

Okay.

All right.

Yeah.

So let's.

Yeah.

You got your suitcase?

Yeah.

So this is all you brought.

Thank you. But the belief is fun.
Right. Well, we're going to talk about Justin Fields.
Okay. All right.
Yeah. So let's.
Yeah. You got your suitcase.
Yeah. So this is all you brought on the plane.
This is it. Let's get down to business.
What's in it? Ritz crackers? No, I have the. Oh, Zimpik.
You got your Zimpik. I don't know.
I think it's Tylenol for you on the plane. You're hardcore, Jerry.
Oh, check out these shorts. Yeah.
Oh, I like that. What are those? Oh, these are my Louis Vuitton Yankee shorts that smell a little bit like the Planet Fitness locker room.
Okay. Here we are.
Great briefcase. This is what he brought to work today.
I love it. I told my wife I was going to do some business.
I only need one pair of shorts. Jerry's getting on board a plane carrying old school briefcase.
Everyone's like, that guy's about to go close some deals. Look at him.
It accidentally opens up his New York Yankees underwear fallout. And a sheet with the entire NFL crossed off.
People would go draft. First of all, about our league, I'm a little concerned about it i've done like sort of a desperate thing that you're not supposed to do it's like uh i've been sending requests to the manager saying hey when are we starting this thing up again okay it's just so lame because it's like it's like texting someone who like a girl who hasn't talked to you in like years like hey yeah so jerry how are you about that um i checked the uh the group chat that we were on last year um i'd muted it accidentally oh yeah well actually on purpose no yeah because it was so annoying it was annoying when they were trying to steal yeah steal josh allen's points away from us last year um it looks like we might have been kicked out because i was not replying to the text but i replied but oh no but i replied this morning they said uh yeah we're looking for jerry which who's jerry is it jerry from entourage what different different jerry kangaroo jack jerry is what cj mccollum said so you're kangaroo jack jerry okay and i said wait shit i just saw this is pft are we officially out we want in you know i've been in a lot of other you should tell them i've been in like stand by me syndicate yeah yeah i was i did not husky um i i was um i i was in i'm in a syndicated show pictionary that's syndicated they don't know that one yeah uh you don't watch what happens live with andy yeah i host a daytime show with CBS.
I'm going to say yes, Kangaroo Jack. I'm going to say yes, Kangaroo Jack.
I'm going to say yes, Kangaroo Jack. I'm going to say yes, Kangaroo Jack.
I'm going to say yes, Kangaroo Jack. I'm going to say yes, Kangaroo Jack.
I'm going to say yes, Kangaroo Jack. I'm going to say yes, Kangaroo Jack.
I'm going to say yes, Kangaroo Jack. I'm going to say yes, Kangaroo Jack.
I'm going to say yes, Kangaroo Jack. I'm going to say yes, Kangaroo Jack.
I'm going to say yes, Kangaroo Jack. I'm going to say yes, Kangaroo Jack.
I'm going to say yes, Kangaroo Jack. I'm going to say yes, Kangaroo Jack.
I'm going to say yes, Kangaroo Jack. I'm going to say yes, Kangaroo Jack.
I'm going to say yes, Kangaroo Jack. I'm going to say yes, Kangaroo Jack.
I'm going to say yes, Kangaroo Jack. I'm going to say yes, Kangaroo Jack.
I'm going to say yes, Kangaroo Jack. I'm going to say yes, Kangaroo Jack.
I'm going to say yes, Kangaroo Jack. I'm going to say yes, Kangaroo Jack.
I'm going to say yes, Kangaroo Jack. I'm going to say yes, Kangaroo Jack.

I'm going to say yes, Kangaroo Jack.

I'm going to say yes, Kangaroo Jack.

I'm going to say yes, Kangaroo Jack.

I'm going to say yes, Kangaroo Jack.

I'm going to say yes Kangaroo Jack Jerry what do you think by the way go ahead keep going PFT sorry so this is important right now I just got this text back Julius Randall is trying to sign up in our spot so we just have to beat Julius Randall into logging in and then we're in so I'm going to to do that right now. I'm not going to make a Julius Randall joke.
Jerry, while he signs up, quick sidebar. Yeah.
Real Housewives of New York, Newcast. I heard you talking about it.
I like the classics. Yeah, so do I.
And Miss Sonia. Yeah, but it's funny.
There has to be a new generation you know i mean you can't just have tom brady coming out every season oh by the way here's a question you i've read somewhere that tom brady's maybe gonna jump in when uh when brock purdy goes down is there no actually no jerry this is exclusive what what's happening we're told is that you know the the patriots only have one quarterback on their active roster Mac Jones yeah they're doing that because Tom Brady wants to come back sign a one-day contract retire as a Patriot but I'm told that one-day contract once once Tom gets in the building again he's going to fall in love with Patriot way all over again and then he's going to play next year for the New England Patriots that's what me and and hank have heard do your job yeah well he doesn't have to worry about the missus uh getting mad at him for uh very true coming out of chicago to do barstool for a day does he okay so we're back in we just logged in so we beat julius randall we're in we're in we're in the fence oh this is so exciting all right the draft the draft god is uh september 3rd at noon okay now I don't know who's in charge of this, if it's Jake or Business Pete, but just make sure I have the passcode.

Because if you recall, two years ago, I went to a Kinko's to log in so I could have my one website running.

And they have good Wi-Fi, just like Dan Patrick.

And I couldn't get in, so we had to auto-draft, and then we ended up coming in fourth that season. Prayers for tomorrow.
Sorry? Prayers for tomorrow. Oh, right, yeah.
That was when we came in second. We're going to get back to Jerry O'Connell in a second.
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But here, let me just go through this. I'm going to take it from division by division.
I love it. All right.
Okay. AFC East.
Let's start there. First of all, I'm really, I'm really excited about the AFC this year.
It's just, it, it's so funny. It seems like Patrick Mahomes has set the bar and everyone is chasing him now.
And from a fantasy standpoint, it's an offensive...

A toilet.

There's a toilet again.

Sorry, you gotta block out the noise.

I think it's the same girl.

It's an away game.

I think that girl, I think she's eating that Kashi cereal or whatever.

Yeah, this is bad.

This is bad.

I saw you telling someone that at the grocery store, you're like, don't get this, you'll just shit your brains out. The guy was like, I'm just trying to get cereal, dude.
I think the AFC is going to be an offensive juggernaut, and I think that really comes from Patrick Mahomes and everyone chasing him. So let's start with the Bills in the AFC East.
You can draft any Bill, all bill all of them every single one except their tight ends uh dawson knox and dalton kincaid yep first of all those names are so annoying it sounds like children of like this is dawson and dalton they're so they're they're like it's like it's just like kids that have to get dressed up on the weekends and it's just Instagram kids. Dawson and Dalton.
They're so smart. Dawson and Dalton, you put that down right now.
But I think they're going to offset each other. So I was a Dawson Knox fan last season.
Not this season. But I think James Cook is going to – Oh.
Is going to Cook. I think's uh a real value uh he's been going in the fourth fifth rounds and um i think he's gonna get a lot of touches yeah he's playing twice a year against his brother now that's gonna be fun um yeah that's right i didn't even realize uh of course duh um and by the way i think their names are um uh um uh it's james um Dalvin Cook and then Dalvin James Cook.
Oh, that's fun. Yeah.
Am I correct in saying that? That's correct. Jake said that was correct.
Thank you, Jake. The Jets.
I'm not drafting anyone on the Jets. Garrett Wilson? You know what? I fully bought in Garrett Wilson.
Just based on the hard knocks. A hundred percent.
You know, it's going to go. I'm going to have a theory this year with our fantasy team.
And if you're upset about this, let me know now because you guys are doing the buy-in. So this is your team.
You're the owners. Okay? You're the Jerry Jones.
You tell me what to do. I work for you and your grandson.
I work for your grandson too. I work for the whole Jones family.
That said, I just think that – I just don't think that there's going to be any jets. I just – Okay.
Okay. Good reasoning.
I just don't think it's happening.

I just.

I think we have to go to our bees.

One and two.

Okay.

Okay.

We're then going to reach for in round three.

Like you're already continuing to reach.

You don't know how it's going to play out, but we're already.

It'll be a reach.

It's going to be a reach.

Cause I need a reach pick around three.

We're going to have to reach it in, in round for justin fields oh i have a feeling he's going to be he's going to be the jalen hurts of this season okay and we have to ensure that we get him and that's a third round third round now people are screaming right now they're ripping their bluetooth headsets out on their elliptical machines but i found in a lot of live mock drafts that i've done that um he can sometimes go early in the fourth round and if you don't take them by the third you're not guaranteeing that you're getting him okay so yeah i'm down if you believe in somebody that strong now you know what you're doing right now no matter what you're standing on the table yeah i'm standing'm standing on the table. I've never seen this in real life.
You're standing on the table. Now, all that said, here's where it gets a little weird and where people are going to get upset with me is that I think there are a lot of wide receivers in rounds six, seven, eight and nine that you can get a lot of wide receiver ones.
Now, everyone's very upset. You should be getting Garrett Wilson.
You should be getting Justin Jefferson. You should be getting these guys.
It's should be getting these guys it's a PPR league blah blah blah blah I I just think with running backs these days if you don't draft them in the first two rounds it's like okay so you get Alexander Madison okay uh good luck I'm sorry Dalvin Cook who's going late all right good luck you know I just I'm old school I think you need a couple running backs up top what do you think about Jonathan Taylor would you draft him I would not I don't think he's going to play this season at all yeah I don't I don't think he's going to play by the way I think Josh Jacobs who held out for a while I think he might be a deal because he's going sort of like later because he held out for so long but I just guys held out that long, you know, I mean. A little rust.
Yeah. And also you have to watch Raiders games.
Yeah. Good point.
That's actually the best point you've made. Okay.
So no Jets. No Jets.
Miami staying in the AFC East. Nobody on the Dolphins.phins this seems I was with you for the first part but the Dolphins do have some good players 100% look obviously Tyreek Hill if you're going to take a wide receiver in the first round but this is not going with our we're really targeting Justin Fields round three we're building the draft around this and is there any concern that you've laid out the entire draft strategy and there might be somebody in the league that's listening? I know a lot of people say, no, I'm not worried about anyone in the league listening.
They thought I was the guy from Entourage. They have no idea who I am or anything.
Well, there is another Jerry in there. It's it's uh it's turtle um yeah jerry from

entourage i'm kangaroo jack jerry um yeah no no dolphins i i think their wide receivers are too expensive and i mean most are it's not cutting the most are it's not like he's not i you know I do think actually either Kareem Hunt will end up there in Miami.

I just don't think that their running game can sustain just Mostert.

Okay.

Patriots.

Hank, you ready for this?

Yeah.

Nobody. Nobody.
Nobody. Patriots Hank you ready for this oh yeah nobody nobody I love it no juju no juju so we only have the bills in the in the AFC yes okay only the bills okay no Patriots I'm sorry I you know I gotta tell you you know what really annoyed me last season was your quarterback, knowing he's being filmed, screaming, like, just let me fucking throw the ball.
Let me fucking throw the ball, man. I want to fucking throw the ball.
And it's like, hey, Mac Jones, just chill out, man. It's passion.
It's you. It's like you want to act right now.
Let you act. Yeah.
But you see me on camera Going let me fucking act man Let me fucking say some lines And fucking hit my marks Man let me fucking do this Why won't they let me Like it just You know what Hank You're going to get your shot You're going to get to see Mac Jones Fucking throw that ball I'm excited You're going to get to see. You're going to get to see Mac Jones fucking throw that ball.
I'm excited. You're going to get to see it.
I won't be watching. Let's head over to the AFC North.
The Ravens. Yeah.
No Ravens. Okay.
None. Andrews is too expensive these days.
Oh, you know what? Zay Flowers. I talked to you about my wide receiver strategy, 6th, 7th, and 8th rounds.

Zay Flowers, I think, is going to happen. Okay, so he's okay.

Zay Flowers is okay.

No Odell?

Sorry?

No Odell?

No Odell.

No Odell.

Okay.

I think...

He's old.

I think he is older.

Also, I'm not that...

I don't know what kind of...

Let me ask you. You're the owners of the team.
what kind of year do you think lamar's gonna have very good i think lamar is um lamar's still really good at playing quarterback last year was it was interesting at the end of the season when the contract stuff was breaking down right and so he kind of just he for the first time I ever saw Lamar not want to compete.

That's a little weird.

You would think that a great quarterback would be like, you know what?

The contract stuff is one thing, but at the end of the day, I want to win a playoff game.

Well, it's not even that.

I mean, I think that players have to say, this is going to be a reflection of my career.

These are numbers that I'm putting up for my career in my prime.

Need the numbers. And, you know, I didn't have Lamar on any teams last year but a friend of mine did and um it was really upsetting it was frustrating you know and um it was uh it was self-inflicted yeah it was uh and i'm sorry there's there's no room for that on our team he does also have some butt issues If you've noticed over the last couple seasons, he'll miss like

three practices a week.

He would miss practice too because

he was like, no, I have diarrhea. He was probably

eating that kashi. Yeah, he shits more than the woman out there.

I'm high on the OC

for the Ravens, Todd Munkin.

Okay. I think

they're going to have a very good year.

Alright, we can revisit that.

Still in the AFC North, the bengals all of them oh okay all of them um i just think their offense specifically who we're gonna target in round two again we're reaching oh pft has an idea i know i think i know who you're gonna say i'll let you say it i'm gonna let you say it t higgins no joe mixon joe mixon okay yeah we're remember we're going running back running back justin fields oh i thought he was talking about the late round no no no okay no no we're going running back running back justin running back running back justin fields and i think uh everyone's gonna be very upset with this we're gonna take joe mixon in the second round okay i'm i'm a little bit upset with that but that's fine i can't i can't speak because, I know he got injured, but you got Brees Hall, I think, what, in the third round? I was like, that's a reach. He looked electric.
Obviously, he got injured. So I trust whatever you do.
I just think Joe Mixon is going to pass the ball. I think that Joe Mixon is going to catch a lot of passes this year.
I just think Burrell is going to just dump it off to him all the time.

I trust you.

That's just a hunch that I have.

I trust it.

It's a feeling.

Oh, no Irv Smith on the Bengals.

We had Kirk Cousins in our league last year,

and I just watched him drop so many passes.

It's too frustrating.

It's just way too frustrating.

Okay.

I have a question for you guys staying in the AFC North. How is Deshaun Watson going to do this year? As a person? You know what? I think as owners, I think we should make a statement.
Yeah. We don't want him on our team.
Don't draft him. Okay.
We don't want that guy. Why? Credit to us because it makes us look good and like heroes for disavowing.
Why wouldn't you want him on your team? He's a running quarterback. He's going to score a lot of points with his legs.
We have Justin Fields. Yeah, okay.
I feel like you don't fully get it. No perverts on this team.
I'm nervous that you're going to draft him. No, I was asking you.
I wanted your opinion. I'll tell you what.
We'll give you one pervert. You can take a pervert on the team, but it can't be Deshaun Watson.
Jimmy Garoppolo. He's not a pervert.
Odell, kind of a pervert. He's Italian, isn't he? He's Greek.
Ray Allen. We are going to take Nick Chubb in the first round if he's there.
Okay. I like Nick Chubb.
Love that. And none of their wide receiver, like Amari Cooper.
I know he's not that old. He's probably in his 20s.
He feels old. He feels like he's like – it's also like I identify him with – it's like he dated one of my friends.
It's like we can't really – no. It's just not happening.
We also told Coach Sirianni run the damn ball he seems like he's he's what i say sirianni yeah stefanski yeah stefanski's gonna run the damn ball this year so i like i like chubb a lot um staying in the afc north steelers none zero nothing i do not believe in kenny pickett i just don't i'm sorry sorry to the show i know i know it's a bummer but you know i mean look uh the other quarterbacks in the afc mahomes uh allen lawrence burrow um herbert i mean pickett okay friend of the show um gonna make the jump this year guys um let's go to the afc south texans no one okay that was probably smart that was making me nervous although i do i like their running back a lot i know we got hurt Pierce. Pierce is awesome.
Yeah, no, I just you have to watch Texans games.

Yeah, you're right.

I get two and a half quarters this year, and none of that time is being spent on the Texans.

Empty calories.

Oh, I have a question for you.

Name one Texans wide receiver.

Brandon Cooks.

No.

He's not there.

Robert Woods. One of those guys, yeah.
I can't either. No one can.
I think Robert Woods might be on the Texans. Robert Woods is on the Texans.
I get point for that. Oh, is he? Okay.
Yeah. The Colts.
You are now season ticket holders, both of you? If he's available, we're going to draft Anthony Richardson. Okay.
All right. Okay.
I think he's going to have an electric year. I think he's going to be really good.
He's going to run the ball. But someone, given our wide receiver 6, 7, 8, 9 rounds, we're going to draft Michael Pittman.
We think he's going to have a good season. Okay.
He's a, he's a, under the radar wide receiver one.

And,

um,

I think Anthony Richardson's a good quarterback.

You know,

this relationship with wide,

with,

with receivers,

it's like a,

it's a threesome.

You know,

you can't,

you also have to like the quarterback,

you know what I mean?

Like you gotta,

when you're in,

when you're jumping into bed with two other people, there's got to be a little something you like about the third person, you know, they can't just be hideous. You know, you like to do the strategy of having like all your eggs in one basket sometimes on team, right? Where it's like you've got you've got the quarterback and the wide receiver.
So you're double dipping, which can be a good strategy if they're good, but if they're bad, yeah, I like the connection. Yeah.
But by weeks, it's weird. If it's good.
Oh, I don't pay attention ever to buy weeks when I'm drafting. I always hit the end of the draft.
I'm like, well, my entire roster is out week eight and I'll just live with that. Yeah.
I don't really pay attention to buy weeks either. But yeah, I do love a connection.
I do love um feels good when they score what was that what was the really funny the original one large into uh uh what was the seahawks one oh uh zorn to large large um uh edwards uh i mean uh and anderson to edwards when he had... You're just saying Derek Anderson and Raymond Edwards? Wow, okay.

I thought you were like

Manning... I mean, Anderson to Edwards.
When you had... You're just saying Anderson to Edwards?

Yeah.

Wow, okay. I thought you were like Manning to Harrison.
Yeah, Manning to Harrison. I'm an Orson to Edwards.
Or Anderson to Edwards. Yeah, yeah.
Oh, man. You'll never remember this, but the first time I came on your show, it was around this time of year.
and I talked about how I had a tick,

like an issue where I could only draft browns and jags on my team yep and then i came back on your show and i said i'm off of both of those teams well you guys are not allowing me to draft deshaun watson um but uh i also went off of the jags for a few years but um I'm back all the Jags all of them yeah without the word Jerry's back on the Jags I think um I think Lawrence is gonna have that step up year I think this is his year okay I think Etienne is uh oh I had a question for you um Mixon or Etienne so I like Etienne and the reason why I like him is because he's got that one kind of fucked up foot.

Have you ever watched him run?

Oh, yeah.

He does have like a club foot.

Well, not a club foot.

I apologize.

Duck foot.

Yeah.

It like goes out to the side.

So when he runs, I think he's able to go sideways faster than other players because he walks like, what is that?

Pigeon toad?

Yeah.

With his toes pointing out?

Yeah.

I think in ballet, it's like first position.

Pigeon's opposite.

Pigeon.

Penguin?

This one.

The V.

I think pigeon is this.

Yeah, I think it's...

Duck foot?

Is it duck foot?

Duck foot?

Yeah, put pigeon's when his face is in.

Yeah, he's like...

It's like wobble.

It's like a penguin.

Yeah, you can watch him, though.

When he cuts to the side, it's like, holy shit, that guy's foot's different.

Yeah.

This is real nitty-gritty stuff we get into. really do you uh you get into the nitty gritty um all the jacks all them okay okay all them every single one of them christian kirk's going to the sixth round it's exciting what do you think about calvin ridley i think he's gonna have a great year i think so too bet on Would I bet on him? Yeah.
To have like an over under of like. Yeah.
I would parlay it with someone else. Yeah.
I would bet on him. Okay.
Sure. Great.
Where were we? AFC South. Titans.
Titans. None.
Okay. I felt that one coming.
Yeah. I won't even draft Derek Henry

if he's up there so sorry I just think it's

I think it's over getting back

to that like you're in a threesome

you know you can't even take like

DeAndre

Hopkins because it's like

Ryan Tannehill's like in bed there like naked

like stroking it like

come on in

Will Levis is sitting in the corner just

watching with some mayonnaise on his hand

hey what did you think about Max's thoughts on titty fucking? It was revolting because the image is of Max climbing on some poor woman with his hairy leg. I mean, could you imagine he was just like, hold on a second.
I'm going to do something. I always do this.
Hold on. And then he went to details.
He was like, oh, and you know, the tip of your dick is touching the nose because you got a long skinny dick. Oh, you like that? Let me get a climb on top of you.
I could never talk about this back when those other people owned us but they bought it back for a dollar now i can talk about titty fucking all i want no no i've done this before just don't move i got it i got it i'm doing all the work it's disgusting it was fucking revolting i literally i had to take a break from your show for a second you shouldn't

allow that man like get penn back in here and stop that kind of stuff i mean but it's the image of him doing it yes by the way i like how you went immediately towards him being on top too in this position but that's well like you know i i listen to the show i don't watch on youtube so So I, like, close my eyes and I visualize a lot, like, what's happening.

And that visualization was disgusting.

It was – honestly, I would rather stand underneath this shit pipe and listen to that woman's kashi shit running down this pipe than have to hear about Max Titty fucking somebody.

And then he

tried to apologize by saying like my mom heard it it's pretty weird but i'm never gonna stop titty fucking it's just like also like just it's him climbing and like getting up there there was There's like nothing hot about it, you know?

Stradling her.

Oh, man.

By the way, like, even if Jay... climbing and like getting up there there was like nothing hot about it you know so straddling her

oh man by the way like i'm not like even if jake said like talked about his positions i yeah i would be like i kind of okay okay okay i can live with that but fucking max it was so nasty oh okay enough AFC South.

AFC West.

AFC West.

Broncos.

The Broncos. I have a question for you.
You guys are owners. Governors.
You own this fantasy team. Would you draft any Broncos? I was going to say Jerry Judy, but no.
Jerry Judy's going a little late. Yeah, hamstrings.
Hamstrings, those linger though. Maybe a little late Jerry Judy.
Keep an eye out. You believe Russell Wilson is going to be able to connect with Jerry Judy? I will not touch Russell Wilson.
Okay, but if you cast Jerry Judy in our movie, you're going to have to watch some Russell Wilson. Are you okay to do that? You're right.
So no, no Broncos. Javante's not bad.
You know, he's so good. He's so fast.
We actually had him on our team. The way he hits that hole is so hard.
But, you know, we have Samanjay on that team now. I don't know what to say.
He's coming back from that injury. I just don't know what's going to happen.
Okay. AFC West.
Kansas City. You know, here's my problem with Kansas City They're obviously great They're obviously Probably going to go to the Super Bowl again From a fantasy standpoint You never know Where it's going There's no way to predict what they're going to do That's how good they different.
It's like one receiver. I wouldn't mind having Justin Ross in the last round if somebody didn't take him.
Okay. And Pacheco.
Pacheco will have a good year, but I'm telling you, just when you get Pacheco, Jerick McKinnon is running touchdowns in. I mean, they still have Clyde.
I think Clyde is still there. Yeah.
It's impossible to predict. You're right.
Andsey is going in the first round and it's it's just too expensive to take a tight end man it's just too expensive raiders none okay uh oh question for you um we talked earlier about um uh tom brady maybe taking over we were joking about him maybe taking over for uh brock pur Purdy when that all goes down and we know he's a childhood Niners fan. I saw on Instagram that he's a part owner of the Raiders.
Is he allowed to do that? I don't think so. That might be one hiccup in our thought that he's coming back to the Patriots.
Conflict of interest. Him and Mark Davis, the two most handsome owners in North American sports.
They kind of me ask you something. They kind of look alike now that you're saying it.
They do. That's probably why Tom wanted to hang out with him.
Imagine those two, just the poonhounds cruising for tail in Vegas. Oh, God.
No girls safe. Let me ask you something.
If, I mean, this is just hypothetical. I mean, it's probably not going to happen.
But let's say Jimmy G gets injured injured right right we're just talking yeah you have to work through every scenario um could tom brady conceivably come in and play for the raiders i think so josh mcdaniels i think so jesus christmas that would be fucking something wouldn't it holy shit holy shit that would be something nfl make it happen make it so uh chargers love all the chargers keenan allen is going in the sixth round man that's what i'm talking about yeah good player i just i hate i hate the c words i hate them i after what happened to the playoffs last year yeah i totally understand it's heartbreaking look they're gonna go seven it's they're they're only gonna win seven games staley's gonna get fired maybe halfway through the season sorry coach staley i hate to say it but um i don't care about any of that from a fantasy standpoint justin herbert is going to compete every game throw the ball and he's gonna throw it to mike williams he's gonna throw it to keenan allen so just hypothetically or he's gonna throw it to quinta johnson who's going to throw it to Keenan Allen. So just hypothetically.

Or he's going to throw it to Quinta Johnson,

who's going in the 10th round.

Hypothetically.

This will probably never happen,

but what if Keenan Allen gets hurt?

Then, I mean.

Then we're fucked.

Then we have Quinta Johnson waiting in the wings.

Okay.

Let's go to the, oh, you know what?

We're done with the AFC.

We like the AFC a lot. Let's get to the nfc yes let's start with the nfc east now this is a personal problem i have with the cowboys um i have a problem with their i've i have a problem with every time i watch a dallas game, which happens about six times a year because they always get the primetime slot.
They must post numbers because they always give them the Sunday night game or the afternoon Fox game. Media darlings.
I am so sick of seeing the story on Jerry Jones' grandson playing high school football.

And it's just, I'm not even making a joke now.

Like the fact that he gets Joe Buck and Troy Aikman to talk about it and do like a little story on it on a nationally televised game.

It drives me crazy.

It's like the nepotism is like, so it like, it actually it actually like it annoys it makes me not be able to watch that team wow that's how powerful i've that that's how strong strongly i i feel about it it drives me crazy do you secretly still watch the cowboys though because i feel like most people they hear they hear all this annoying stuff about the team they say fuck the Cowboys but you can't help but watch. Well you have to watch because they're going to get three primetime games.
They do force them down our throats. And we are probably going to draft Brandon Cooks this season.
He's on the Cowboys? He's on the Cowboys now. How about that? Wow.
And I think he's going to have a great year.

Okay.

I do not believe in Dak Prescott.

Sorry about that.

Same.

Tony Pollard is going to have an incredible year.

He might be a round two for us. If he's up there in round two, and I told you we're drafting Joe Mixon,

I will take Tony Pollard over Joe Mixon.

My worry about Tony Pollard is he was always like the second the second guy and everyone was like he's better than the first

guy let's make the second guy the first guy is this like maybe maybe we're wrong this entire

time maybe he's better as a backup no i think he's good okay i think he's a real deal all right

um deuce vaughn though is very good i know everyone says that to's vaughn i watched him a

lot in college he's really good i know that i know that he might be a late round guy i know that

Thank you. And Deuce Vaughn, though, is very good.
I know everyone says that. Deuce Vaughn, I watched him a lot in college.
He's really good. I know that.
I know that. He might be a late-round guy.
I know that. And he is.
But I'm telling you, Tony Pollard's going to have a good year. Okay.
If he's there and Joe Mixon is there. I realize you guys are looking at your watches.
I've got to get through this. I'm so sorry.
But I did not. I was just, I was replying, Jeff D.
Lowe doesn't know time zone, so I'd write back to him. I did fly here.
I paid for the tickets. I was not looking at your watches.
I got to get through this. I'm so sorry.
But I did. I was just.
I was replying. Jeff D.
Lowe doesn't know time zone. So I did.
I did fly here. I was not looking at my watch.
Came here and I went to a Stella Blue event this morning. I had to remind myself if Deuce Vaughn was on the Cowboys.
He is. Set a reminder.
Jake. NFC East Giants.
Oh, here we go. This is part of our plan.
Okay. Remember you were accusing me of like setting targets and like not being able to budge from them.
NFC East Giants oh here we go this is part of our plan okay remember you were accusing me of like setting targets and like not being able to budge from them NFC East we are going to take Darren Waller we're reaching in the fourth round we're taking okay we're taking him Justin Fields and Darren Waller no matter what Justin Fields third round Darren Waller first round we're getting them fourth round we are getting them that. We are getting them.
That's it. They're on our team.

There are no other receivers on the New York Giants.

There are no other receivers.

It is Darren Waller and Darren Waller only.

That's it.

Love it.

You know, I'm not the biggest Daniel Jones fan,

but I think he is going to throw the ball to Darren Waller quite a bit. What if what if darren waller's not there have you run the scenarios then we quit the league he'll be there that's why we're taking him in the fourth round he will be there all right he will be there he will be there hypothetically what if someone takes him in third it's not possible okay it's not possible because people are going to go for uh kelsey um uh hawkinson um uh andrews and he's going to be there okay but it's why we're reaching for him because we have to get him because i think he's going to be right up there with kelsey okay um okay by the way lunch break now just so you know if you hear voices in the background they're taking a lunch break right next door okay way to go business pete um uh eagles titty fucker team titty fucker yeah i get up on the chest hold on a second honey i gotta make it a little a little bit up i've done this before I've done this before.
Hold on a second. I know what I'm doing.

Disgusting. this before i've done this before hold on a second i know what i'm doing oh disgusting um i mean in the first round if it wasn't in our league and it wasn't our plan i would take jalen hurts in the first round okay i would that was an air horn is that from is that the jalen hurt i think that's just the lunch break you just got an air horn at lunch just dudes blowing horns at lunch yeah i fucking flew here expecting to see the new studio that you've been talking about and this is very absolute i was very clear it is actually a shithole literally near my head i was very clear that the new studio wasn't open god you know they always say like don't, like, don't, like, meet your heroes.
This is like, we should have done this on Zoom with my wife asking me. But I couldn't do it at home.
My Wi-Fi. My wife is watching Magnolia Network nonstop.
No one's working. Everyone's in the house.
My kids are vaping. It's a fucking nightmare.
Get me out of there. Calgon, take me away.
Yeah, Hertz is the only one we're taking on the Eagles. Sorry, Max.
I mean, A.J. Brown is going in the second round.
Devontae Smith is going in the third. They're too expensive.
That's where Justin Fields goes. Yeah.
We can't do that. The Commanders.
Feeling Johan Dotson. Okay, yeah.
Feeling him a lot. I like that.
He's going to be one of our wide receivers. It's going to be his name.
It might be a situation where McLaurin's got the turf toe, right? I think so. The most deadly injury of all time.
For the biggest win in franchise history. Oh, absolutely.
We beat the Ravens. No regrets.
We're going to see Johan as number one to start the year, probably. I think so.
And it's going to be hard to look away from him after Sam Howell gets that connection. That is a great threesome, though.
Everyone was making fun of me for my wide receivers in 6, 7, 8, 9. Now that I've explained it to you, does it make a little sense? I see your vision, and it makes a lot of sense.
Thank you. So good luck this season.
It's going to be fun. How are you feeling about quarterback uh i i think he can be average okay i think he can be average put out the word put out the word i want i want the haters to know sam howe's gonna have like the most average season of all time and that means that we're gonna make the playoffs we might even win a playoff game perfectly average is good perfectly average is great yes that would be a perfectly average quarterback would be the best quarterback that I have probably seen in 23 years in D.C.
So it'd be awesome. Oh, man.
NFC North Bears. We all know our plans for Justin Fields.
It's going to be really exciting here. Hey, guys, it's going to be exciting to live in this town.
It's going to be a fun football season. It is going to be fun.
We're not taking anyone else.

We're only taking Justin Fields, though.

Sorry.

I don't think Khalil can catch a ball.

Sorry.

TJ Moore is going to probably go too high for our strategy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We're just.

Maybe a flyer.

This is now a late, late flyer.

But like 13th, 14th round, Chase Claypool. i actually think that he could he's playing for money you know he slots in better now that the dj moore's there just saying just a flyer you know it's got a little bit of a um a scent of juju where it's like sort of like old guys have been around a little bit and it's like oh yeah i i recognize that name let me get it and it just i'm telling you when you plug them in it doesn't happen okay okay it's it's a little inflated um the lions man i love that jameer gibbs it would be so fun to take him um but he's like going in like the third round and that's when we're taking Justin.
Sorry. I'm sorry, guys.

I know.

No, you are running this team.

We're hands off.

Green Bay.

No one.

Nice.

Good, good, good.

Vikings.

Only Alexander Madison, possibly.

Oh, no.

You know what?

Also, Jordan Addison, if he's around in our 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

Love him as a wide receiver.

But, you know, it's so funny.

If something goes wrong in the first two rounds

and we don't get a running back in those first two rounds,

let's say we take, I don't know,

if somebody's on the board that we have to take late in in the first like justin jefferson and you have to take him um you can take alexander madison as your second rb uh i think he'll be okay okay okay um but man i gotta tell you one problem with the vikings i i i i hate players who wear those rubber wedding bands i i I hate Kirk Cousins wears that. It's just such...
Andy Dalton was a big one. I am married.
I am married, okay? I'm sort of happy at times. It's okay.
It's going... We're married.
We're doing it. We're together.
And as an actor, you know, when I used to act, the first thing you do is you take your wedding ring off. And it's like, oh, fucking, this is like, I'm able to just take it off.
Boom, come to work. It's off, gone.
And I don't have to be like, why did you take it off? And it's like, I had to. I'm playing a character in Kangaroo Jack.
He doesn't wear a wedding ring, you know? He's not married. I'm getting into character.

The fact that you're given an excuse to take your wedding ring off and then you put on a rubber wedding ring to replace that wedding ring,

it's so annoying to me.

Sorry, guys.

I want guys that are married to the game.

You should make a ring out of a football.

Like a pigskin ring. That's what I want my quarterback wearing.
I like that. NFC, NFC, NFC South.
Falcons. Bijan might be fun to get.
First round? Yeah. If he's there, we're going to take him.
He's going high. It's going to be fun.
Yeah. Okay.
You're not feeling good about that? No. I'm trying to wrap my head around the strategy here.
He's going very high. He's going very, very high.
He's going first round. I mean, like, sometimes he's top six.
So no B. John, then we're taking Joe.
No, Joe's second round. No, no, no.
Joe's second round. This is first round.
Chubb. Okay.
Yeah. Chubb.
Chubb. I forgot about Chubb.
That's a missing line. Chubb or B.
John. McCaffrey.
I like. If it's up there.
I don't want to watch Niners games. Sorry, Niners fans.
Well, no, you should really apologize. I do want to apologize to Niners fans.
They're the most frightening fan base out there. We all watch fight videos.
We all, hey, there's a fight at the Panthers game. You watch it.
It's usually a drunk person and a woman getting in the middle. It's like everyone's missing punches.
You click on aers fight there's like people punch to kill it's like you know it's so it's so there it's so funny i always click on 49ers fights in the stands and it's usually i don't want to stereotype and generalize but it's usually a shape it's a very muscular, shaved head person. And they're just throwing like roundhouse after roundhouse, but their head – they're such good fighters.
Their head is not moved. They are completely locked in on the temple and head, like the brain.
And they're just like – just hammering, just laying haymaker after haymaker. And it's like you watch it in horror i i have a i have a great deal respect for all niners fans i want no beef with you you're great fighters brock purdy ain't gonna cut it okay okay um i would say eagles fans are also pretty deadly fighters but they no they go for like they go they just swing wildly you know they throw a lot of punches.
No. say Eagles fans are also pretty deadly fighters, but they just swing wildly.
They throw a lot of punches. Niners fans have been trained.
They've been trained. They've been trained.
They're ready. They're waiting for it.
They have weapons. There was one in a burger joint.
They are weapons, but yeah. NFC South, Panthers.
I'm not a White Sox fan either. Panthers, absolutely no one sorry um that's fair saints nobody i mean alave is going to be good in the second round but we're taking uh running back ticket joe mixin uh bucks it's over it's over yep it's over it's over it's just over god i feel so bad for mike evans he's a hall of famer i am not totally out on baker yet this might be a personal problem that we have but we want to keep believing in him you know like he was he was good on the browns jerry he was a good player for a couple years he still got that in him he was good in those commercials were pretty funny when alice cooper's like there and he's like lives at the stadium yeah he might be too good of an actor that might be the issue um arizona uh nfc south absolutely no one san francisco i think we're gonna find out why he's called mr irrelevant you know it's so funny when you're in the nfl and you're in a position like quarterback, like there's a reason why you've gone through so many like tests and levels and like and had to prove yourself because it's a long, arduous career.

And I'm just I don't see it from him. I think he's going to have a bad season.
Okay. All right.
Oh, but getting back to our wide receivers, 6-7-8-9, Brandon Ayuk. Yep.
Going to be a good grab. Getting back, NFC, were we in the NFC? West.
West. The Seahawks.
Tyler Lockett is going to be a grab in the 6, 7, 8, or 9. Not going to touch their running game because I have no idea what's going on with Walker and Chardonnay.
But DK is going too early. And Rams, absolutely no one.
It. Okay.
That's it. That's my breakdown.
That's all right. I like that.
We have a crystal clear strategy. Yeah.
I know. How often do you go into these drafts with a precise strategy and then like two rounds and you just blow it all up? It usually a third round.
It usually all falls apart. We need Justin Fields.
Third round. It usually falls apart.
You know know sometimes you get a little greedy and you're like Justin Fields will be around round four but then when he gets taken it fucks you up and because you're being timed it's like being on Family Feud or something you just say a stupid or pick a stupid pick because you're flustered so I just I i want justin fields in the third and i want darren waller in the fourth for our team i love that's all i want yeah everything else i'm open i'm open to the universe i'm open to the universe man but those are rocks but that is to it's a foundation yeah build around the foundation and also you know what um your team. You live in Chicago.
I think it'd be fun to root for Justin Fields. Yeah.
Root for the hometown guy. We have skin in the game.
Okay. Yeah.
I have one last question. Is it a rollback question? Roback.com.
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Rowback.com, promo code TAKE. I don't even have a question.
I just know that you, did you write a poll? I did. I wrote a little something.
For those who maybe this is the first time they're hearing me on the show, I'm sorry if I lost my train of thought. I just got off a plane and also there was shit running next to my head this entire episode and i was about to say something about coach sala and then i would actually hear the like the shit going up a pipe inches away from my head but i wrote a poem um i typically pick someone uh here on the staff and stuff and um Jake, I thought it was time.

Yeah, let's go.

Let's go.

This is a poem for Jake.

Okay.

Shout out to my buddy

who really did help me write this.

He's a great guy.

Big time AWL.

Okay.

It's a poem for Jake.

Jakey, Jakey, Jakey.

Your skills in the announcer booth,

simply put, are sick.

Fucking unreal.

That was the toilet.

Okay, we're starting over.

We're starting over.

All right, redo, redo.

God, I'm going to gonna fucking do you hear it they've got to hear it on the air right yeah a poem for jake jakey jakey jakey your skills in the announcer booth simply put are sick jakey jakey jakey and you never ever denigrate someone's Mount Rushmore pick.akey jakey jakey to the man behind the men who always comes to play jakey jakey jakey to the man who enters chat rooms asking is obama gay jakey jakey jakey holding your own with this crew every day is quite a feat jakey, Jakey, Jakey, even with all that pressure,

at least you would have remembered

to pay the electric bill

unlike Business Pete.

Jakey, Jakey, Jakey,

we're happy you made the cross-states trek

with all the boys.

Jakey, Jakey, Jakey,

let's hope Business Pete didn't fuck up again

and in the new studio

we get all that Chicago street noise.

Or shit.

Jakey, Jakey, Jakey, unlike hank you don't hate the libs and you don't hate the commies jakey jakey jakey and like a good little boy every night at seven you call the daddy and mommies jakey jakey jakey as an announcer you are cutting edge and all the trends you are bucking. Jakey Jakey Jakey, unlike Max, when getting air time, you don't boast about all your titty fucking.

Yeah, I fuck them.

My long dick hits the nose.

Jakey Jakey Jakey, you've set up shop here.

You've staked your claim.

You've raised your teepee.

Jakey Jakey Jakey, all of this, even after everyone in your high school saw your little peepee jakey jakey jakey you pride yourself on being a man of faith and you pride yourself on being a man of fun jakey jakey jakey as there is a drive into deep left field by castellanos it will be a home run run. Jakey, Jakey, Jakey, you're as hot as OnlyFans and as exciting as a match on Grindr.
Jakey, Jakey, Jakey, we will always love you. And for that, you can set a reminder.
Jake, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you, Jerry.
Thank you, Jerry. That was fantastic.

Great job.

I'm hanging that up in my apartment.

Thank you so much.

Jerry, you're the best, man.

Ironically enough, he's the boss who I had to go meet, the big boss man.

Oh, Jerry.

Really?

Who helped me write this is the big boss man.

I didn't say his whole name.

But his name is...

He's the president of a real company. Don't look up come on leave him alone please 69 oh i see i see okay come on careful careful careful don't get me in trouble okay please cut this part out i'm not sure he wants to be known as like oh okay i'm not

sure he wants to be known as someone who helped me write uh hey what rhymes with titty fuck

you know yeah they pants jake they saw his dingaling in high school come on there's like

hr shit for that uh jerry you're the best thank you so much as always thank you for making the

track we love you love you guys this is why you're a Mount Rushmore guest love you guys love you Jerry Jerry O'Connell was brought to you by our great friends at Sport Clips your hair might grow fast but after going to Sport Clips haircuts you wish it grew even faster that's because Sport Clips has the best seats and hair and that may or may not be because they happen to be right in front of TVs playing sports all day, every day. We know that watching sports while getting a haircut sure beats watching your reflection get a haircut, which is why at Sport Clips, every day is clippers and curveballs, high tops and Hail Marys, even waves and wickets, if you're into that sort of thing.
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Until the last episode

I've enjoyed it

Yeah until the last episode

I've enjoyed it greatly

It's been a lot of fun

I feel like the stakes were fun

Hank can you not sign to the microphone?

Shut the fuck up

The fact that it came down to the second to last

Mount Rushmore was great

Remember the beginning of the season

When it was like

I think Billy and Jake didn't get

It was like three weeks

Yeah three weeks to get a point

But Max and Hank will be the ones

Thank you. Mount Rushmore was great.
Remember the beginning of the season when it was like, I think Billy and Jake didn't get it. It was like three weeks ago.
Yeah, three weeks to get a point.

But Max and Hank will be the ones in the box.

They will be in the isolation chamber.

Probably the best outcome because you get me and PFT will announce it.

And Max and Hank, they do not want to be with each other for 24 hours.

Plus, we get to think of all the ways to fuck with them while they're in the box. Yes.
Man in the arena. How does it feel, Hank? Yes.
Feels good. I'm excited.
You're excited? Yeah. Do you think that you let Max down? Yeah.
Yeah, you did. Yeah.
You 100% did. Mistakes were made.
It is what it is. I'm not going to be upset about it.
I'm just going to try and make the best out of a shitty situation. I like that.
I don't. Jake loves it.
I want to torture you. No, I mean, listen, you, again, I'm not going to denigrate it.
It's like, yeah, the majority of this podcast was on one team, and then you got the two little slivers on two other teams. Stop it.
Obviously, you guys are going to win. You're all of our bosses.
It was so close, and you just gave up. It was so close despite the fact that the two hosts were on the same team.
But we did it. We did it.
I feel like we did it as anonymous as possible. There was no retweets, which is probably stupid for us in terms of engagement.
Like, we probably should change that next year. We're going to change things.
We did not talk about the Mount Rushmore. And accidentally, I would have to delete the next tweet because I forgot.
Like, oh, I locked the reply. Yeah.
Yeah. When you actually look back at the playbook here, that's probably the worst way to promote a podcast.
Be like, we're going to do an entire segment all summer and never talk about it. But here we are.
I thought it was as fair as could be. And you still are going to complain.
I'm not complaining. It is what it is.
How would you fix it, Hank? I would separate you guys on teams. Okay.
All right, fine. Maybe next summer we'll do that.
I thought next summer we weren't doing it. Yeah, next summer we're going to do freeform.
Again, there were some picks I made that were funny. I did them as a joke, and that cost me.
And being funny is a crime, then put me in the 24-hour show. What was your funniest pick? Oh, man.
I mean, when I. Jerome Bettis on the Rams.
That was a good pick.

That was so funny.

Peeing next to Ed Sheeran or peeing your pants in Mark Schlereth.

I think you shouldn't be mad at me and PFT.

I think you should be mad that you went up against AI in Jake.

That's really what happened.

Again, we talked about it.

I'm not going to be a sourpuss.

The game's over.

The season's over.

But if you were going to be a sourpuss.

If I was going to be a sourpuss, you guys told Billy not to text Jake back

Thank you. and we talked about it.
I'm not going to be a sourpuss. The game's over.
The season's over. But if you were going to be a sourpuss.
If I was going to be a sourpuss, you guys told Billy not to text Jake back and then had memes have to do his three picks for him. No, we never said that.
I never did anything. I never told Billy not to text Jake back.
The last... In your grand conspiracy brain, you think that the reason that Billy didn't do work was because we told him not to? Also, Billy was actively trying to lose this.
If we told him not to, he probably would do it because he'd be like, they're trying to get me somehow. But those three episodes with memes were the X Factor.
Those three, having to do the hungover because you drank on a weekend. You did.
It just ended the whole thing. It is what it is.
I'm honestly, I'm excited. We'll make some good content out of it.

Everyone loves me and Max, which is basically the whole show at this point.

So the people got what they want.

He's not a sourpuss, people.

Wait, is it a tiny sliver or is it the whole show?

According to you guys, it's like everyone like.

People want me and Max. We want it on the record.

He's not being a sourpuss about this.

I'm not.

I'm excited.

I've said that multiple times. All right.
So you want to do Mount Rushmore pizza toppings for real this time? Sure. Okay.
What's the order? It's me and Billy, Hank and Max, Big Cat and PFT. What did AI bring up? Because PFT and I are just doing it off the rip.
Same. Oh, okay.
What about you, Hank? No. Oh, you prepped? You prepped? Yeah, I'm ready.
Okay. Okay.
Pepperoni. Oh, good pick.
Good pick. That's what Google said.
Okay. I wish Jake hadn't gone first because I just wanted to throw it for Hank again.
Yeah, I want to do double olives. Green olives.
Double olives. I'll go spinach.
Oh, no. What a baby.
What a baby. That's really good.
I'm not going to complain, but if I wasn't going to complain, I'd tell you guys ruined this entire. I think that was my first two years ago.
What a fucking baby. All right.
You know what? Now I want to beat Hank at losing. You want to beat Hank at losing? Yeah, we'll go artichokes.
Good pick, Big Cat. And then we have the wraparound? Yeah, so for the second one, let's go anchovies.
Okay, anchovies. Good pick, good pick.
Thanks. Give me olives.
Okay, which kind? Black. Okay.
Jake? Damn, I can't believe this hasn't been taken yet. Yeah? Bacon.
Oh, good one. Fuck one, Jake.
I can't. That's stupid of us.
Yeah. Okay.
Next. Big meat guy.
Let's go meatballs. Okay.
Meatballs. That's good.
That's good. Hank, you're back up.
Let's go. No cheese, no sauce.
Okay. I can't believe you left us an olive.
Yeah. Would you take black? You want to take green olives?

You want to take it?

I have something else.

I have another one, too.

Oh, all right.

What were you thinking?

I was going to say literal human cum.

Oh, okay.

Nice.

Little human.

Is that the thing?

All right.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

No, literal.

Oh, literal.

I'll go with the last pick.

Let's go beans.

Oh, good pick.

Yeah, beans.

I love beans on a pizza.

I do toenails. Wow.
What should Mr. Relevant be for? You got a lot.
There's a lot left. Oh, fuck.
I forget about sausage. Shit.
You can get sausage. Damn it.
Sausage still on the board? Extra cheese? Damn it. What are you going to take, Jake? Come on.
We're going to make this a Mount Rushmore of meat and go barbecue chicken. Oh, nice.
Pepperoni, bacon, meatballs, and barbecue chicken. That's a great pick.
All right, so read back the... So me and Billy have pepperoni, bacon, meatballs, barbecue chicken, and ham and macs of spinach, olives, no cheese, slash no sauce.
Is that one pick? And toenails. Okay.
Big Cat and PFC, artichokes, anchovies, literal human cum, and beans. Okay.
Oh, it's going to be a race to see who loses this one. I think we might have you beat.
Yeah, we'll probably come in a second. Oh, it's going to be a race to see who loses this one.
I think we might have you beat. Yeah, we'll probably come in second.
Max is very upset. He's like, I'm literally going to lose every bet that ever is made on this podcast.
No second place, though, for Max. What do we have to do? You have to stay in a room for 24 hours.
We're going to build a box. We're hopefully going to get it sponsored.
And you're going to have to stay in the room for 24 hours. I think build a box we're hopefully gonna get it sponsored and you're gonna have to stay in the room for 24 hours i think we said every couple hours we'll give you i think you said one item every hour gets thrown in yes but the the p breaks we said like every couple hours um and yeah you guys just have to sit there on camera we'll we'll we'll telecast it we'll talk me and pft i think we'll probably have we'll get some other people yeah nick help out and uh we'll basically do a podcast while we just watch while the awls watch the two of you have to just sit there with nothing to do sick not being sour it's gonna suck so bad dude thank know, this could happen to any of us.
It is what it is. You get one pillow.
Yeah, I'll just sleep the whole time. That's what I said.
I told PFT, I was like, I think Hank can sleep 24 hours. It's going to be great watching Hank just fall asleep and Max just pacing around the room.
Come on. Get up.
Come on. No, no, no.
You guys should just play. Maybe we'll put like a chess board in there or something.
Rock, paper, scissors. Well, yeah.
If it was like you just gave us 24 hours and we could do stuff that's to entertain people. We're going to add things.
But if it's like. Yeah, no.
We're going to add things every hour. There should be like arts and crafts.
Maybe painting. Maybe you guys could paint.
Yeah, we'll add fun. What do you get to do in prison? Read the Bible? I think the first hour you're just going going to have to sit there, and then we'll slowly add some things.
Maybe some fun things. Okay.
What if we do the hot dog thing where if they do a task, time gets chipped away? I don't know. It's 24 hours.
Yeah. It's going to be fun.
It'd be so funny. Whatever.
What? No. What are you going to say? It doesn't matter.
It's a podcast. It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter. No, I'm not saying it.
Say it. No.
Say it. I'm excited for the opportunity.
No, say it. Say it.
No. I are you going to say? It doesn't matter It's a podcast It doesn't matter It doesn't matter No I'm not saying it Say it No I'm excited for the opportunity No say it Say it No I'm not going to say it I'm not going to talk until you say it Come on Hank Say it What were you going to say? Say it You fuck You fuck you Can you please say it? Please, Hank.
You're ruining this. Come on.
Please. Please say it.
No. Why? Because it's a sour post.
It's complaining. So text it to me.
I'll say it. So you don't have to say it.
Perfect. PFT, do the last ad and then I'll say it.
Okay, well, we're waiting for Hank to say it finally. I want to let you guys know that Firefest of the Week is being brought to you by our great friends over at Babbel.
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You, yes, I'm talking to you.

You've got a vacation planned.

You're going overseas.

You want to learn to speak the language? Use Babbel. I'm telling you the easiest way don't go to the library check out textbooks don't watch youtube videos use babble.com slash pmt because we're giving you 55 off rules and restrictions may apply okay hank did you text to me okay hank said if if pft and hank had to do this no read what I said If PFT and Hank had to do this If PFT and I this is you saying it Had to do this punishment we would have been such Babies about it and made it so we can do Activities we would say it would be boring for the viewers Otherwise we said we're going to give you activities.
We just said painting. Yeah.

Arts and crafts.

I don't.

We would have done the same rules.

We made the rules before.

You get one thing added every single hour.

That's why I didn't say it.

We would have figured out a way to make it. It's a good thing you didn't say it.

I know.

Because it was wrong.

Correct.

Which is why I didn't say anything.

And you guys cried.

That's fair.

I can't.

You know what?

We can't get mad at him for not saying it because he didn't say it.

He texted me and I said it.

But if you had said what you were thinking, you would have been wrong.

Correct.

Right.

But I can read your mind right now.

Hank, Firefest of the week.

Some people are saying.

Some people are saying.

You, like two episodes ago, declared summer over and time to work. And since that moment, you've been grumpy.
Some people are saying that. I'm not grumpy.
I'm happy. I literally said I'm excited for the opportunity.
Okay. Think of all the exposure you're going to get, Hank.
Yeah. Dude, you should sell ads on your body yeah oh you make some money i honestly man again i can't be honest on this show i can't be honest on this show i know it'll get used against me so i'm not gonna say anything text me no no absolutely not um that was gonna be really.
That was going to be really mean. That was going to be so mean.
No, no. I was going to say something honest about myself and that you guys would have used it against me during the stream.
I was going to say something that I'm thinking and fearful of. Oh, okay.
Spiders? Working? Snakes? No. Staying awake? I've been here for 17 hours today.
I'm exhausted. And we can do a group firefax, I think, because of yesterday.
Yeah, yep. I was going to talk about that.
Group firefax. Do you have another one? Yeah, I'll do another one.
We can all share in this one. Group firefax yesterday.
We filmed some videos for Bushmills, some golf videos. One of the videos was speed golf.
And my whole body is broken. Oh, yeah.
I'm so injured. My back is just shattered.
Electric video, though. Worth it.
It was my hammy, my back, my shoulders hurt this morning. I don't know how you can hurt your shoulders running, but I did.
I was dehydrated. I woke up this morning with a headache because I was pissing orange.
It was a real awakening that we're not young bucks anymore. Yeah, I was looking at my health stats yesterday because we both logged it on our watches because we were exercising, playing golf.
It's actually very sad how high my heart rate got just from playing golf yesterday. Yeah, it was incredibly sad.
Incredibly sad, but it's going to be a very, very funny video. I don't like what Shane and Memes are laughing at.
What? Just how bad we looked.

I just keep laughing at the final hole.

Oh, yeah.

Evan just driving on the...

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Evan Pug, who does a great job with our YouTube.

I don't think we have this on video,

but we were just standing there wrapping the video,

and he just drove his cart on the green,

and we all were like, Dude, what are you doing? And he you doing and he was like one hand on the top of the steering wheel in the most casual what you can't do this he's like i don't golf i don't know it was so good so so good i probably laughed harder than i ever have in my life though watching big cat sprint uh it was it was it was fast it was funny uh and then this isn't really a fire this is a future fire fest uh i'm going to my first bachelor party with like my my friends people i grew up with i went to my brothers but this is my first you know friend group bachelor party 30 dudes nashville that's way too many dudes three days opposite of morgan wall in concert and then we have you know football starting after so i'm already you thought i was grumpy this week oh coming off a three-day bachelor party in nashville we should do one last mount rushmore for when hank comes back super hungover yes maybe even three of them good luck hank yeah thank you i've been to a bachelor party in nashville it was so much fun but it took so much out of me. Three days, too.
I feel like most are like two days. You've got to get a picture in front of those angel wings.
Yeah. Do that.
Yeah. No, actually, I went on the bachelor party, my friend's bachelor party in Nashville.
It was 2014, and it was Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and then the Blackhawks played game seven against the Kings on Sunday. So we went to the bar in Chicago, and they lost in overtime.
The Western Conference final. I was just a beaten, beaten man.
Yeah, I feel like it's going to be lots. It's the first bachelor party in the friend group.
I feel like people are going to be turned up to a 20. How many houses are you getting? It's like two townhouses next to each other.
It's like all my friends I grew up with, and then all of his college hockey friends. Yeah, that'd be awesome.
Two houses. That kicks ass.
That's a lot of dudes, though. A lot of dudes.
A lot of dudes. A lot of dudes.
Okay, PFT? My Firefest is I Feel Like Shit from Golfing and also the Supermoon. Did you guys see the Supermoon last night? It's the last Supermoon, I think, until 2037.
It was a big deal. deal apparently it makes dogs act fucking insane so blake did not bite my penis again but he bit every other part of my body last night because the supermoon super because the supermoon did it and the supermoon for some reason i think it's been like studied that kids also misbehave a lot during supermoons really yeah they're like tides or the gravity the gravity affects their little bodies more so i've heard a lot of people had dogs that were fucking around yesterday so that's because of the super super moon blake woke me up at 3 a.m he woke me up at 6 a.m he uh peed in the house he bit me again every part of my body except for my penis shout out blake he's learning but um yeah the super moon fucked my dog yeah that's that's not good that That is not good.
Supermoon. They become wolves.
I don't know. I had a pretty good week except for my body being broken.
Oh, I can't. Maybe someone can help me who's listening to this.
On the ESPN, I'm trying to get all my – I've been doing test runs of the new channels, streaming. Everything's got to be set for the first college football weekend um on my espn app on my phone i can't log out of my old uh cable provider so i can't watch games on my phone yeah i went how actually that's happened i've had the same how do i do it they won't let me sign out i went through that with fox sports during uh i don't know some some soccer thing that was happening this is such a disaster yeah it's tough because's tough.
Because I need to be able to, like, there's a lot of times when, like, I was, tonight I was laying in my son's room before he went to bed. I was in the bottom bunk trying to watch the game.
Couldn't do it. Just furious.
I think I just hit every button, every combination of buttons possible until it logged me out. So someone please help me.
Someone please, please, please help me.

Okay, Jake, wrap us up.

Yeah, I ordered a couch and it was damaged in transit.

Pretty simple.

That's your fire fest?

Not something that happened on the golf course?

I mean.

I guess we'll have to wait for the video.

No spoilers.

How damaged was it?

I want to spoil it.

So spoil it.

No, no, don't spoil it.

You can bleep that. Just bleep that.
They sent me a used one instead. The new one will be used.
Well, the new one will be sent. It's probably going to come on it.
So wait, the one that you got was used? Yeah, just temporary. How could you tell? Temporary.
They told me. Oh, wait.
No, I'm saying the one that got fucked up. They never even sent oh they didn't send it told me on the phone it was damaged got it got it okay yeah well at least you have a regular apartment now right yeah yeah it's coming together you've been here six weeks yeah you'll get your couch figured out it'll be fine it'll be fine uh jake knows that couch has to be able to withstand some heavy pounding yes yes mr positions needs a lot of bend on that couch uh okay uh next week three shows as tradition tuesday wednesday friday football's all the way back we have an awesome interview with field yates coming which is a full nfl preview uh probably gonna get pete prisco our good friend pete prisco on we also have a great interview with dan patrick coming, which is a full NFL preview.
Probably going to get Pete Prisco, our good friend Pete Prisco on.

We also have a great interview with Dan Patrick coming on Friday.

It's going to be a great week.

Everyone enjoy your last weekend where you don't, you know,

you can see your family on a Sunday, all that stuff,

because after this weekend, it's go time, baby.

All right, numbers.

I'll do 69 this time.

Three.

18.

I'll do 17

Memes you ever gotten this

No

What is your guess

10

53

It's part of my taste

The number one spot podcast

On the charts

And in your heart hey football guy for Dean of A.W. Yeah, pardon my 10.
Yeah, pardon my 10.

Yeah, pardon my 10.

Yeah, pardon my 10.

Yeah, pardon my 10.

Yeah, pardon my 10.

Yeah, pardon my 10.

Yeah. I'm running my hand through my craw.
I was in a hole. I was in a hole.
I was in a food ignition. I didn't touch out the kitchen.
I'm a road and everybody got everything. I wish I had just been broken wrong.
I'm like, yo, what's wrong? It's a freaking weekend. Baby, I'm about to try to come home.
We start popping in a fresh navigator. We got to everywhere.
This is the problem. Boys, boys, boys.
It's Pardon of my take.

The number one spot podcast on the charts and in your heart. I'm going to drink it to your home, man.
Can I get a tube? Can I get a deep, deep? But then I'm just going to roll. And I'm just going to roll.
I'm just going to roll. I'm just going to roll.
I'm just going to roll. I'm just going to roll.
I'm just going to roll. I'm just going to roll.
I'm just going to roll. I'm just going to roll.
I'm just going to roll. I'm just going to roll.
I'm just going to roll. I'm just going to roll.
I'm just going to roll. I'm just going to roll.
I'm just going to roll. I'm just going to roll.
I'm just going to roll. I'm just going to roll.
I'm just going to roll. I'm just going to roll.
I'm just going to roll. I'm just going to roll.
I'm just going to roll. I'm just going to roll.
I'm just going to go to the kitchen. I can push out the kitchen.
I'm a boy. And everybody's got everything for within.

Boys, boys, boys.

It's Parton Mike Tate, the number one spot podcast on the charts and in your hearts.

Hey, football guy.

But Dino. A.W.
Yeah, pardon my dick. Yeah, pardon my dick.

Yeah, pardon my dick.

Yeah, pardon my dick.