NHL Playoffs With Keith Yandle, Lakers/Warriors G1 Delivers, Sixers Up 1-0 And Hank Is Down Bad + Guys On Chicks

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I mean, where else can you pair wall-to-wall hoops with hard-to-find whiskey? Only at Twinaks, the number one sports bar. On today's part in my take, we have Keith Yandel on the show.
Former NHL Ironman. We're still giving him the Ironman.
Very cool guy. Awesome talk.
He gives us some insight into playoff hockey. He tells us some funny stories about his career.
The creation of the word sonk, which is a very funny story. Great, great interview.
We also are going to talk some NBA. Game one of Warriors-Lakers delivered.
We had the Knicks basically get Scott Foster on their side for a win against the Heat. Max versus Hank.
Game one goes to theers we're going to get to that we have hot seat cool throne and guys on chicks packed packed show today there's making a sandwich and then there's crafting a sandwich and when i want something perfectly crafted i go straight to boar's head for over a century boar's head has been dedicated to crafting premium deli favorites. Every ingredient is carefully chosen, every recipe made with a purpose.
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Boy! We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Welcome to Pardon My Take. Today is Wednesday, May 3rd, and the Warriors and Lakers, game one, delivers so much hype for this series, so much hype surrounding Steph versus LeBron, and we had, it ended up being Anthony Davis with an all-time performance, and Jordan Poole being like, everyone get out of the way, I got this, let me jack up a shot, try to tie the game late.
It was awesome though. PFT, it was a great, great game.
Yeah, it was great. I think what we're seeing is, uh, LeBron might be better as a Robin than he is as a Batman.
They've got a true number one option finally on the Lakers and AD who looks healthier than we had predicted. AD is the healthiest man alive right now.
I don't think that you can make an argument against that. He was fantastic.
He was, like, going into this series, a lot of people smarter than us were basically like, this series kind of goes with Anthony Davis because the Warriors will shoot threes, the Warriors will be able to maybe get out in transition, the Lakers have the mismatch and the Lakers go to the free throw line and Anthony Davis asserted his size mismatch was awesome on the boards scoring he kind of ran out of gas a little bit on the end but he played the entire second half he ended up playing 44 minutes and you had like everything it was Anthony Davis early the Warriors making Warriors making a late run. And then, like I said, Jordan pool, I got to give, I like Jordan pool just because, well, I would, I would not like him if I was a Warriors fan.
Cause he would drive you insane. But I, I respect the hell out of a guy who not only will do a heat check, but he does like the quickest heat checks ever.
If he makes one shot, he's like heat check time. He had one in, I think, the second quarter where he made, he might have made two threes in a row, and the next possession down, he launched like a 40-footer.
He's like, I just got to see if I'm never going to miss again. And he did miss.
And also the fact that he's doing these quick heat checks when he has Steph Curry and Klay Thompson on his team too. He's like, nobody has ever anointed themselves as the third splash brother quicker than Jordan Poole has.
He's like, yeah, the three of us, I think we're probably the three best three-point shooters in the history of the NBA. The last possession that the Warriors had, they're down three, there's like 14 seconds left.
Steph gets double teamed at half court because they were like we're not gonna let Steph shoot so he dumps the ball off to Jordan Poole but you have 14 seconds left so the the idea there is you can now run a little bit of offense Steph can run through some screens maybe Clay gets open but no no no no no Jordan Poole was like my time I he he passed it to me for a reason it's my turn to shoot and he misses it he hit a three earlier in the fourth quarter that was steph curry like so i think he thought that he had become steph curry the little runner that he did that looked like a shot that you would put up at the end of a quarter he absolutely nutted on that one and he started doing his like little threes out to the side on the way back. So, yeah, he was feeling himself.
So I do respect his confidence. I respect his confidence.
I might not respect his ability to close out games, but I will respect his ability to believe that he will be able to close out games. Yeah.
You're right. It would have been perfect.
That's exactly the time where you want Draymond to set up one of his patented moving screens with an elbow to the ribs. Get Steph Curry open.
And that's why you have Draymond on your team. Make the refs call you for a moving screen at that point.
Just get Steph open and let him shoot a shot and hope that you can tie it up that way. Draymond also did get moving screened himself.
Was it AD that got him? Yeah. And flipped out out we had a classic draymond green moment where he started screaming at every ref he started mimicking the calls of the referees he started reenacting the fouls to the refs and you knew that once he once draymond starts making that walk over to the scores table you know everybody that's watched basketball knows that walk from draymond where he looks like he's got like toilet paper stuck between his butt cheeks he just kind of waddles over to the table you knew he was about to get a technical it also is like it's funny too because draymond like for as he gets calls that are reputation calls where he will get you know suspended or whatever he also kind of gets away with a lot because he does yell at the refs constantly and they're like you know what we'll we'll end up probably teeing you up later let's just save this um so not to overreact to game one my but i'm going to uh my fear of lebron and the lakers making a championship run has elevated to another rung so i do think this is going going to be a great series.
Obviously, you know, like game one, especially the Warriors coming off of game seven, I don't know how they're going to solve for the fact that the Lakers are just taller than them. Like they're taller and they can score in the paint and the Warriors don't really want to play in the paint.
I'm a little nervous about that part because I think being tall in basketball is pretty important. Yeah, I guess some would say that.
My high school coach would definitely agree with you on that one. But I think also at the same time, the Warriors have been going up against that as long as they've been in this iteration of the Warriors.
Correct. That's how the Warriors broke the NBA.
Every team was much bigger than them. And they used to have the ability to, to use that to their advantage.
But a counterpoint would be, they had Kevin Durant, who's a seven footer. No, even before that, before that, before they got, yeah, well, before that Draymond Green was not an offensive liability.
And yes, you know, they were all younger and maybe could play more minutes so that's that's the difference because like you're right because draymond had the ball in the fourth quarter several times where anthony davis gave him about 15 feet of room uh on the perimeter and draymond didn't even turn and face the basket he just caught the ball and then just started looking to pass immediately that's that's exactly the difference but still, if Clay and Steph have a game where they're both at the top of the games together, they're going to win that game every time. I put this loss on the fans and the city, the city of Golden State, because somebody mixed up the colors tonight, big time.
All the fans, it was a yellow out. They were all wearing yellow on the night that the Lakers were wearing yellow that can't happen in the playoffs you're the warriors you've been there before get your shit together golden state i also don't like i i i am i'm a traditionalist here i'll probably be an old man yelling at clouds i said it on monday night hank's agreeing with me when you're in the playoffs you wear your jerseys you wear your classic jerseys you wear your home you wear your road like don't fuck it up don't like the celtics not wearing white at home like that was a like the green and the red matchup was stupid this one's stupid like it's the playoffs there should only be two jerseys in the playoffs i don't want your city connect i don't want your 17th nike jersey again i do sound like an old man right now but i want your classic Jersey playing in the playoffs.
I don't want your City Connect. I don't want your 17th Nike jersey.
Again, I do sound like an old man right now, but I want your classic jersey playing in the playoffs because here's the thing. When we look back at these games and they're classic games and you remember these moments, I want to remember the classic jerseys.
I don't want to see the Warriors in black or the Celtics playing in green versus the Philly playing in red where it's like one team should be wearing white. I don't get it.
Yeah. The Warriors had a flower on their jersey.
I want to see a bridge. I want to see a fucking bridge on the Golden State Warriors uniforms.
Too many jerseys. There's too many jerseys in the NBA.
It's Nike's fault. It's really actually, you know what? that's also kind of proves how great these playoffs have been, that the only complaint I have is there's too many jerseys.
That's it, because they've been that great. I just want to know where the miscommunication was, because you can't have the fans all wearing yellow while the Lakers are wearing yellow on your home court.
That can't happen. Yeah.
It's going to be a great experience. I think it's because I think Nike picks the jerseys for the teams, and I'm guessing that the arena is not in full.
They don't know necessarily. So they just say we're going to do a yellow out, assuming that it's going to be normal jerseys.
Well, they've got to get on the same page for game two because that's a must win for the crowd.. You got to have matching uniforms for the players and for the crowd in game two or else this whole series is done.
I just, they should never deviate from just you got two jerseys, bring two jerseys, that's it for the whole playoffs. That's what I want.
But yeah, this, I mean, this series is going to be great. I don't know, like if Anthony Davis plays like this every single night, it's going to be hard to beat the Lakers because he is – the Warriors don't really have an answer for him.
And then, like you said, I mean, the Warriors can obviously go insane from three at any moment, and there will be one of those games where they probably win it by 20 because they hit all their threes. It's a very interesting series because it's, like, two very different teams in how they want to play.
And, like, I don't know who's – like, can you win playing in the post? Can you win hitting threes? We'll find out. Yeah, I had a thought when I was watching the end of this game when Draymond was getting teed up because I wanted to know so badly exactly what he was saying because they showed people in the crowd that were laughing at what Draymond was saying to the refs.
I think Draymond should mic himself up. He should do a personal mic'd up and then just record an entire podcast during the game of him running around talking to people and like slide it like he'll defend against LeBron in the post and be like LeBron, you're a guest on my podcast right now and then just start talking to him as they're playing.
Yeah, I'd want I'd listen well i watch already because i guess we're watching the youtube version it's already released right yeah new media yeah it would be cool alternate feed and it would just have to be like they have to put all the warnings in it beforehand yeah you're gonna most of it 90 is gonna be grunts and then draymond breathing hard draymond has to sign a contract before like or makes espn sign a contract before being like i cannot be canceled for whatever i say because i'm gonna say some shit or just put it on himself that's what i'm saying like obviously they mic up some of the players uh i forget who it was on the knicks that was mic'd up that was awesome tonight but if draymond just like strapped a microphone taped a microphone underneath his jersey to himself and then just record his own podcast during a game that's what i want to hear um okay so other game that i mean this is i'm i i know that like the games are on at 10 o'clock at night and it sucks how late they start but i won't miss a I don't think anyone should. Like, if you're a basketball fan, you cannot miss a second in this series.
Other game, Knicks tied up 1-1 thanks to Scott Foster. So, and I, like, the Heat lost, but they won because Jimmy Butler didn't play, and the missed call on the ball hitting the rim where the Heat got an easy layup off a missed three, and they called it a shot clock violation.
Like, that did kind of change, like, the flow and outcome of the game. Nick shouldn't apologize, but the Heat have to walk away being like, we had no Jimmy, we have no hero, Max Struess got hurt,

and we still almost won this game.

Yeah, no moral victory for the Heat.

Jimmy Butler was waving bye to the New York fans when he was leaving.

And that's not a move that you do if you're not going to play in Game 3.

He knows he's going to play in Game 3, and it's going to be different.

So if I'm a Heat fan, I'm happy.

If I'm a Knicks fan, I'm also happy.

Yeah.

Because you had to win this one.

What, Hank? Oh, you're ahead of me. Go ahead, Hank.
I don't want to. Kraken won? Yeah.
Pavelski, dude. I wanted the Cinco.
He had four goals. What a performance.
Joe Pavelski from? The U. No.
Wisconsin. Badger.
Dude, what a game. Four The Kraken are fucking We've got to get back to the Knicks to Heat But the Kraken, every time they're on the screen Talking about jerseys They have the cleanest jerseys I've seen from an expansion team Usually when an expansion team starts It takes a while for your eyes To be be like this is a real team i should take seriously they look awesome yeah it also ryan whitney's full of shit for saying we're gonna win one game in the playoffs great sports town hanks always said that the kraken joe bavelski dude four goals and you can't win how waste that? That's tough.
Unreal. That's tough.
That's brutal. Yeah, the Kraken, I was thinking about it too because we had the discussion about the shocking factor of the Bruins loss versus the Bucs.
The fact that the Kraken and then the Golden Knights when they did it a few years ago, the fact that an expansion team can be like deep into the playoffs in nhl tells you how volatile the nhl is like there's remember whenever they would add a team to the nfl or mlb and they would just suck for a decade the expansion draft is run a little bit different in hockey yeah of course it's designed by its very nature to make the teams competitive right off the bat which is smart because you want to establish a market because it's tough to grow if it's a a city that doesn't have an ice hockey team, it's tough to grow that organically through some bad years at the very beginning.

Right.

So it's smart what they do.

The NFL just basically says, okay, you guys are going to show up and watch this shit because

it's the NFL and you'll watch when we tell you to watch.

Yeah, you get the first pick.

They can get away with it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Here's David Carr.

But yeah, shout out to Kraken. What a fucking, I i mean they're up 1-0 in the in the second round damn um all right heat next yeah the heat got screwed i what are you gonna do i and also spolstra is the best coach in the league i think i think he's i i think he might take over the title i think he might be pop has not been in the playoffs for a few years i think spo is the best coach like the fact that he had that team almost winning at the garden missing three guys and having the refs go against you the shit he was doing like when he was just having them both he was having jalen brunson was running pick and roll and they were both dropping and it completely confused the knicks for like a solid four minute stretch where he had Jalen Brunson had no idea what was going on and they couldn't figure it out because both guys were dropping off their, off the pick and roll.
Like he just makes adjustments that gives his team edges that I don't think anyone else is making right now. That's an interesting discussion.
Is Spoh the best coach in the NBA right now? I mean i mean i my my theory is that that pop has been tanking intentionally to try to get women yama but he but that he can't count if he's been tanking like he's been a good job at it but he's getting like the heat are not the most talented team i know the knicks aren't either i mean but like it's incredible that they're in these games without jimmy butler

let me ask you this if you were to replace steve kerr with eric spolstra how much better are the warriors now that's tough because i'm a big believer in nba coaching x's and o's very important spo does it better than I think anyone right now, but management of, uh, egos is also equally as important. Kerr does that a great job with that.
Like whenever people would say like, Oh, well, Phil Jackson had MJ and then he had Kobe and Shaq. It's like, dude, you have to get all these guys to buy in and, and fall in line.
It's not that easy. If it was that easy, that easy the you know other other all these coaches would have titles if they have the best players yeah Phil Jackson was managing Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, Shaq, Kobe, Dennis Rodman and he was also banging the owner of the team too I think he's pretty good at managing egos so the answer guess, might be that Steve Kerr is number two right now.
I mean, there are like, I just think what Spolscher is doing with this Heat team, like they weren't supposed to beat the Bucs. It feels like every year they're getting farther than what they're expected.
And tonight I was watching being like, I think we all sat down and thought that the Knicks would just kill the heat because the heat won game one. Jimmy Butler's not playing.
And they were in that game. It was like one call goes the other way, two calls go the other way.
They might win that game. I would say Quinn Snyder, also a sneaky X's and O's guy for one of the best ones.
And then Brad Stevens. He's a great X's and O's guy.
He probably should be coaching the team right now. Yeah.
Nice foreshadowing. Yeah, nice foreshadow.
Either way, Knicks are 1-1. We shouldn't – Knicks don't apologize for a win.
I saw the parade outside. It does look fun every single time when they do the parade on 7th Ave.
But if you're a Knicks fan, you also have to be in the back of your head like, shit, Jimmy Butler didn't play, and we got a couple very nice calls go our way, and we still barely won. We had to have it.
So, again, like Big Ed said, don't apologize for winning because you could not lose that game. Much like Kevin Love's outlet passes were a fun thing to watch the other night.
Sneaky fun part about this Knicks game, Havenstein's tip outs. Yes.
He's just a deflection and tip out machine. I know he doesn't get credit for rebounds on all of them, but he creates chaos when the ball's in the air, and he's actually very fun to watch rebounding.
That was the other one. He was all over the place place there was a there was a play where josh hart pushed him over and then they called a foul scott foster called a foul on bam and i was just like what are we watching he's the greatest to ever do it guess what it's i want all these series to go seven because it's a great second except maybe's sons, which we'll talk about in a second.

But yeah, give me Nick's heat.

Give me the Mecca game seven.

Why not?

Yeah, that'd be fun.

And again, Scott Foster, it's fun when there's one Scott Foster

because he's the guy that you can laugh at

and make these jokes about.

But when the league has multiple Scott Fosters,

then it's just officiating sucks.

Yes, yes.

All right, last thing before we kick it to ourselves. We've got a lot to talk about.
We're going to talk about Max versus Hank. We've got Keith Yandel.
Great show, rest of the show. Congratulations to Joel Embiid.
So, Max, you're now up 2-0 on the Celtics. Yeah, I'm happy for him.
The video, no, the He, he, it obviously meant a lot to him. It was good to see the camaraderie of the team, but, uh, I'm not really looking for personal trophies.
I want championships. A quick question, big cat.
Uh, do you know anything about the recent history of, uh, of people who win the MVP and that translating to playoff success? So let me see. Off the top of my head, Jokic just won the last two.
Have the Nuggets gone far? Do not have any titles. Nope, that's true.
They do not have any titles. Who won it before Giannis? Giannis did win it before a title.
Uh, he won two in a row. So I guess maybe next year, uh, the Sixers win.
And then before that, who Harden and Westbrook, they don't have any titles. Steph would be the last one.
I would think. Interesting.
Okay. I just didn't know.
So I know that you're a story into the game. So I figured I'd you that question yeah yeah good question i will say the uh like i like mb because he's it's a great story in the tweet from 2014 when he tweeted uh he made a photoshop of the like mvp rankings in the future and he put himself on top and everyone was shitting on him this was 2014 he i don't think he had not played or just got drafted, and everyone was like, you're trolling.
I can't believe you're trolling. Get on the court and stop tweeting and stuff.
And it's like, no, he became MVP. Yeah.
I thought that was disrespectful to Kobe because he had Kobe, what, third? I think it was him, then LeBron, then Kobe. One of the top replies in 2014 was like, Kobe's not going to be breathing then.
today was like what the fuck dude oh it's crazy it was like the it was like the top reply from 2014 is that laker dan uh yeah no joel um beat is like one of the most likable stars in the league i i don't know outside of hank oh actually we'll get to that let's just's just save all the six for Celtics talk because Hank might actually like Joel Embiid. Jake, go ahead.
You had your hand raised. Yeah, going back to Heat culture, I had to throw it in there.
I have a Heat culture stat of the day. The Heat had 74 points by undrafted players tonight, most by any team in a playoff game in the modern era.
That is heat culture. Yeah.
And that's Spoh.

Like, that's crazy to think about.

Yeah.

So, tough game.

74 points.

Tough calls, but it makes play well.

Who was that?

So, was that Caleb Martin, Max Struess?

Who else is undrafted?

Caleb Martin might have drafted.

They drafted.

Oh, Gabe Vincent probably. Yeah, Gabe Vincent had a great game.
Yeah. Maybe Haywood Highsmith maybe.
That's crazy. That is a crazy stat.
Yeah, so that's great. And then Caleb Martin was undrafted.
And also the Panthers won. Oh, yeah.
Congrats to the Panthers. Panthers look fucking sick.
1-0 over the Leafs. Yeah.
Long series. Long series.
Bobrovsky. Also, the Rangers are choking us.
First game one victory since 1997. Really? Yeah.
It's 1996. They've won a game in the second round.
In any series? Yeah. Four Panthers have won a game in the second round.
Sorry, game one. They won a game in the second round for the first time since 96.
Oh, shit. That's pretty crazy, too.
Yeah, they've won. Yeah, 97 for the free game one.
Crazy. Titletown.
Titletown. Like, wouldn't that be perfect if Max says he's Titletown and Hank's like, no, I'm Titletown, and then Jake just sneaks in and becomes Titletown? Out of nowhere without even thinking.
I mean, the way we're talking about it on the show, the Sixers-Celtic series might as well be the NBA Finals. Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, that's true. Good point, Jake.
It's ours. It's our NBA Finals.
You also said you're going to have all the popcorn. Kettle corn.
Kettle corn. You contributed to the hype around that series, though.
I just want to let you know. You're absolutely correct.
You're absolutely correct. Did you eat a bag last night? Yeah, you can see the picture it i i can't take a self twitter is just i i don't know what i get tweets from like 70 days ago i don't there's something i could do about it did you eat did you eat the full bag because you distinctly said that your prediction for this this series was all of the popcorn kettle corn yeah i know we did you eat the whole bag yes

hmm the series was all of the popcorn kettle corn. Yeah.

I know.

Did you eat the whole bag?

Yes.

Hmm.

That seems,

are you lying?

No.

Yeah. It's a little bit.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm not like 85% of it.

Disappointed.

Yeah.

Because it's kettle corn.

You couldn't finish it.

Exactly.

Exactly.

Um,

okay.

Let's kick it to ourselves back in studio for everything we got going on.

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And weather whatever in Ariat work year. Okay, let's do what everyone is probably listening for.
The NBA schedule is a little weird. Monday night had Sixers Celtics.
I was wishing so badly. We had a podcast directly after that game.
Good news is next week we will have podcasts directly after those games. So the Philadelphia 76ers are up one, nothing so much for the sweep, like consternation that Max had just been walking around.
I don't know. Sweet.
You're good. Sixers up 1-0.
No Joel Embiid. James Harden with an all-time, maybe his best playoff performance, 45 points.
B-Ball Paul with some big free throws. I guess to the victor go the spoils, Max should get to chime in first, right? Yeah, Max, what was your favorite part about beating the Celtics last night? No, last night was it was it was it was a night.

It was nice to win one as as Kevin Malone would say.

James Harden was a player that I've always wanted to see since he's been on the Sixers.

He really came through that step back three was I really blacked out.

I kind of lost all control of my mind and just let my body just kind of freak out.

It was sad sitting next to my good friend, Hank.

You didn't seem sad.

No, no.

There was these pictures.

You're getting your butthole fingered.

Yeah.

And I actually got banned from TikTok because it was sexual exploitation. So much sex.
So just oozing sex. From Max's butthole.
It was the most disgusting video ever taken of me, and I couldn't have cared less. That's how happy I was to see that shot go down.
That sounds like it was an awesome time for you, Max. Oh, it was fun.
It was fun. Now, Max, I would also like to say congrats on beating the Celtics and advancing to the Eastern Conference.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I mean.

But, I mean, you won without him beating.

We won without him beating.

You didn't beat the series over.

This is a sweep.

Yeah.

Can you see?

I was going to get to this.

I will not apologize.

No, no one's asking you to apologize.

No.

We're asking you to show more faith.

Yeah, we're asking you to accept the victor of this series.

No.

The destiny. No.
Hank should just shave right now. I will not apologize.
You just said it's nice to win one like Kevin Malone. You got this.
It was nice. I won a game.
I won a big – I mean, that was very emotional. His pro thinks he's on the team.
Yeah. You're not getting no wind this series.
No. I'm not getting swept.
And, I mean, that dictated the series yeah if we losing winning that game without mb on the road kind of sets it up for okay this is going to be a battle because if you lose that if you get smoked last night then then all of it's lost sweeps it sweeps in play hard and probably if he doesn't play a good game it's like like, alright, here we go again. It's the Celtic Sixers once again.
But now there's a different feeling in the air. And you know, I'm thinking it's like...
It's hard to get words out. It's just, I'm ready for a battle.
Rather than if we got smoked last night, I would have just been down in the dumps. It's like, same old Sixers-Celtics.
Billy, what did you want to say? For those at home, what's the implications of this to the Soulpatch bet? What's still possible? It means that Hank, the sweep is still on the table for Hank where he'd have to have the Soulpatch for two non-consecutive months. Or 4-1.
4-1 is also in play for Hank. That's true, because he agrees to the updated terms.
So Hank doesn't have that many games to play with right now. Max, I knew the game was over.
One, because I know ball. But two, because James Harden wore the clutch jeans on his entrance to the stadium.
He did. He's bringing JNCOs back.
It's been a long time. We've been squatting on that take.
JNCOs are a look that needs to come back in the 2020s. Max, would you like to see him wear the JNCOs again? Or is this one time it worked? Let's move on to the next thing.
No, I just want to see him come out with the craziest outfits for every game. Yeah.
Focus on the outfits. I did say that that was another thing that Big Cat and I were arguing before the game.
Well, you said prime James Harden. I said prime James Harden.
You don't want prime James Harden. You want James Harden you've never seen before.
No, prime James Harden is still, like, you can still be in your prime in the regular season. Like, I'm talking about, like, he was coming out and playing the best James Harden game that James Harden could play.
You wanted Michael Jordan Harden. Yeah, and then you said Michael Jordan Harden.
Yeah, and you got him. Yeah.
You got him. There's prime James Harden, and then there's prime rib James Harden.
Yeah. And you wanted the latter.
I also think that just watching the game, I think B-Ball Paul might have either done something at one of James Harden's favorite strip clubs or something because he was icing them out to start the game. Just no pass.
But B-Ball Paul, what a game. I mean, and then you kept saying that, and then when the game was on the line, who did James Harden go to? Free throws.
Who did James Harden go to? Yeah, he did. He did.
He trusted him. I'd like to award.
These are all great performances from all these players, no doubt about it. My personal MVP for this game is P.J.
Tucker. Oh, yeah.
P.J. Tucker had 37 minutes, zero field goals attempted, zero free throws attempted.
That's the most ever in terms of minutes for no shots attempted at all during the course of the game. But he sets the best fucking screens.
He's so good at setting picks. His body was designed in the lab to give James Harden just two feet of separation to hit a three.
He's a dog. And he touched a penis.
And he touched a penis, too. Which we have a penis-touching problem in the NBA.
P.J. Tucker, by the way, the Philadelphia 76ers are 17-6 this year when he scores zero points.

Yeah.

So that's the recipe.

He knows his role.

The recipe to success is make sure P.J. Tucker doesn't score.

But he's on the court the entire time.

No, he is.

He's very vital.

He is really, really good at setting screens.

He had maybe the best screen game that I've ever seen at the NBA level last night.

So, Hank, let's go to your side. Congrats again, Max, on winning the series.
Won a game. Okay.
Thank you for the game. Yeah.
I actually think the Sixers should sit and beat and Harden next game. They're going to lose by 20 next game.
Yeah. Harden's all I said, like that watching Harden put like he was fantastic because he has a history of not showing up in the big moments.
That was a true James Harden's all I said like that watching Harden put like he was fantastic because he has a history of not showing up in the big moments.

That was a like true James Harden willed that team to victory.

45 points.

All I was saying after Max can attest to this, we were walking out of the gambling cave.

It was like James Harden's got to be so tired.

Like he's just going to be so tired for like a week.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Before we kick it to Hank, because I know we want to get his thoughts.

I just sidebar big cat. Yeah.
Hank's got his phone. I think, because I know we want to get his thoughts.
Just sidebar, Big Cat.

Yeah.

Hank's got his phone out.

I think he has a statement that's prepared.

Oh.

Just an FYI.

Oh, okay.

It looked like you were getting ready to...

I mean, again, I'm right here.

You could just let me speak

and find out if I did or not.

Okay.

We would find out I didn't, but...

Okay.

Well, you were looking at your phone

like you were...

Great.

No, I mean, I just have some stats.

All right, go ahead.

Go with your stats.

And then I have...

No, no, stat off.

Yeah, give us stats. I mean, again, I can't even speak for like one sentence.
Stat me up. I would like to.
I have some thoughts. Celtics went – they shot 59% from the field, 40% from three, 94% from the line, lost.
Yep. That's upsetting.
Yes. I went home.
I was mad. And then the post-game press conference, Missoula coach, first-year coach, basically came out and said, yeah, that's on me.
I didn't call up any good plays. I didn't put us in a good position to win, which it's not the regular season.
You got to coach. You got to be confident and have some plays in the playoffs.
Coming out and saying that in the regular season is one thing. Coming out in the playoffs and being like, yeah, shitty job by me as the coach, that was upsetting to hear.
And it made me wonder, and this might have been I was just mad and it was like 1 a.m. I couldn't sleep.
Brad Stevens, like, Mazzola said he had no play calls.

He had bad play calls, didn't do a good job.

Brad Stevens, for all intents and purposes,

one of the best X's and O's guys ever.

When he was coaching, he was probably top of the league.

He's still in the organization.

Why don't they just put him on the bench

and just have him call the plays at the end of the game?

I don't know.

Was it like a Pat Riley situation?

Yeah, like, you have a coach that came out and admitted he was not prepared in that type of situation to call plays that they needed to call to win the game, put the guys in the position to win. Yeah, so what was he doing? I don't know.
I don't know. He called a play for Marcus Smart at the end of the game.
You have Jalen Brown and Jason Tatum. Jalen Brown took three shots after the first quarter or something.
Yeah, Jalen Brown and Jason Tatum, I think their last points were with 11 minutes left. Or maybe not, but it felt like they only shot a couple times down the stretch.
It was the same as Game 5 of the Hawks series where they weren't up 20. They were up maybe 6, 7, 8 with 4 or 5 minutes left.
And every offense that looked like they were just killing clock they were playing like let's run the clock out but there was plenty of time and plenty of possessions for the sixers to get back in it which they did but i spent a lot of time last night not sleeping and just wondering what can brad stevens do to help this team as a coach because seeing those quotes from missoula was just like, it was borderline infuriating. He needs to get choked out again in the day off.
He needs to work on his throat game. Yeah, jiu-jitsu.
So Jason Tatum, I just looked up, his last field goal was 11 minutes left. Do you think – so Marcus Smart, I don't understand the drawing up play for Marcus Smart because he's maybe your fifth best offensive option, right, would you say? Like, you'd rather have Tatum, Brown, Brogdon, White, Derek White.
So sixth, yeah, best option to take a shot there. Do you think Tatum doesn't have enough dog in him? No, I do think he has all the dog in him.
Why didn't he take over that game? He's like 24 years old. Okay, but I'm just saying.
He is an exceptional. He's going to be first team all in the NBA.
He's an exceptional, exceptional player. It feels like that last thing is that killer instinct of like, this is my game.
I'm taking it over. I'm the best.
He is the best player on that court. The problem was, like I said, it was the end of the game.
They rounded it to two. It was passive.
They were playing super, super passively. That would be what I'm saying.
That's exactly what I'm saying. But that might have been a coaching strategy.
I don't know what. I don't know.
They play the same way they did it in Atlanta game five. Hopefully going forward when they get leads, they'll just.
It's like they changed their game plan. Jimmy Butler's heart and Jason Tatum's body is the best player in the NBA.
I was about to say, let's have a dog off real quick. Jimmy Butler's not as good as Jason Tatum.
You're taking Jason Tatum. What did I just say? Listen.
I said Jimmy Butler's heart in Jason Tatum's body. Jason Tatum.
What happened at the end of that heat? Jason Tatum is a fucking monster. When they tried to drop a play that was not going to Jimmy Butler and Jimmy Butler said to his coach, no, I'm a dog.
I'm a dog. They need to have a dog transplant.
I don't think so. I think I think that's an overreaction.
Skip Bayless. No, I'm just I'm Bayless.
I'm simply asking questions. I'm not even making a take.
I asked. Do you think Jason Tatum has enough dog in him? Yeah.
Okay. I might disagree with that.
He's been like Eastern Conference finals in the finals. He's 24 years old.
Like like max right no i'm just saying like loser talk how when did mj get his first championship how old was he uh he was probably in his late 20s so did he not have that dog in him he played in in college he won a champion actually no he was 18 because he won a championship in college that's and he hit the game winning shot okay that would be dog jason tatum went where did he go to college again so he must have game-winning shot. Okay.
That would be dogs. Jason Tatum went.

Where did he go to college again?

So he must have won a championship.

No, he didn't.

Oh.

I think they lost to South Carolina

in the second round that year.

Oh.

That's a double tag.

Oh, brutal.

In the check, 2017.

That has nothing to do with anything.

I think what we can definitely say is

Marcus Smart has more of a dog in him

than Jason Tatum does.

No, Marcus Smart has like an unleashed pit bull in him. Again, it's like, but Jason Tatum is a better dog.
You guys are, you guys are. I was asking him to cause controversy.
No, the fact that you're so like, listen, I was asking a simple question. And I answered.
Got the dog. He's got enough dog.
You answered by accusing us of being skipped. No, I said yes.
Say Jimmy Butler's better than Jason Tatum. Yeah.
Or Jason Tatum's better than Jimmy Butler. Okay.
But does he have the dog? Had they played head-to-head recently in the playoffs? This season, no. What about last year? That's this year.
What didn't. What about last year? I mean, yeah.
Who won? The Celtics. So that was Jason.
I'm just asking a question. Don't, like, listen.
I believe, if I remember correctly, it was the end of the game. I think it was Jimmy Butler was guarding Jason Tatum.
Jason Tatum was a one-on-one, had a step-back jumper in his face to ice the game in game seven. Good, that's dog.
Listen. Jason Tatum, like, that was a game, though.
I was like, where's Jason Tatum in this fourth quarter? It's also totally valid to be like, you guys are being prisoners of the moment right now. Of course.
Yeah, obviously, because that's what we are. We're dumb.
Yeah. So we saw that game.
I think the cells are going to kill them tonight. So now everything that we saw from that game last night means the world to us right now until the next game happens where we'll overreact the other way.
I also think Embiid, I hope Embiid comes back. You think they're worse with Embiid? I think that Embiid coming back at not 100% will discombobulate them.
I think it helps. I think a similar thing with Murray was out for the Hawks.
Trey Young, it's like he knows he has to be the guy. He knows everything's going through him.
He has 100% confidence. There's no last shot, only one ball.
It happens to the Celteltics sometimes too jason brown jayland him that is a confirmed thing that happens where it gets weird when you don't know who's the alpha when one but if jay if jaylen brown has 35 points and jason tatum only has 20 like you probably should be running it through him but it gets weird at the end of games i think if mb comes back it's going to discombobulate them enough for to win. So, Max, what's your take on that? Are the Sixers better off without Joel Embiid? They are 15-6 this year without Joel Embiid.
They also had a million. The fact that they didn't win that game last night was disgusting.
They had 100 layups. The Sixers didn't play defense.
No, the first half was a layup line. The Celtics is not like they are a worse team than last year, and the only difference is the coach.
The Celtics didn't play bad last night. They did not play good defense.
No, Hank had insult stats to himself. Yeah.
They did not play good defense. The Sixers just played bad defense.
And James Harden was the best player on the court. We should mention Tyrese Maxey was awesome.
I know that Brogdon threw him the ball, which was crazy, but that was a shot clock violation. They were playing great defense there, and that was kind of the game right there.
Maxie stole the ball. It was a great call.
Yeah, it was. Was it Kevin Harlan? Yeah.
I believe so, yeah. Epic.
Maxie does take a lot of shots, a lot of threes off the dribble, where it seems like his momentum just carries him as he's shooting, and he misses back iron a lot when he's coming around the edge. He's he's also always smiling yeah he always like has like an inside joke in his head yeah i kind of like that out of a player so hank how are you feeling for wednesday night um we will be in in in florida so we're gonna we won't be streaming we'll do we'll be doing social clips um how you i do think the cells are gonna kill them because I think there's just a natural letdown.
You won one in Boston. You didn't need Embiid.
The Celtics now have to give their best effort. It feels like a Celtics blowout.
I alluded to this on Sunday, but the Bruins losing has really ruined my entire vibe vibe. Like, I don't feel – I am – we're down in the series.
Let's just tie it up, and then we'll go game three, and then we'll go game four. Anything can happen.
You actually, like – you took the Bruins loss harder than I thought because someone was like, I wanted you to make him cry. I was like, no, no, you can't make Hank cry about the Bruins.
You've got to wait for the Celtics, then he'll cry. Yeah, it's more Boston and the city as a whole and just being the best team in NHL history and losing in the first round is something that's never going to go away, and that sucks.
And that being probably the last season of Bergeron, like Bergeron, again, I'm not a diehard Bruins fan, but I am in the playoffs. Every playoffs the last 20 years, Bergeron's been the guy.
Charo was the guy. They're both gone.
It's like, fuck. And they lost in the first round in a game seven when they were up 3-1.
Also, your Bruins, the loss around them had to do with the fact that you also see that loss as just being, oh, shit, now I only have the Celtics. That's all that's left But maybe it's like.
We could be watching the Bruins tonight. We should be.
That's what I'm saying. It's just sad.
It's sad in the group chats. My group chats are mostly hockey fans and less basketball fans, so it's like things have gotten dark and sad.
So let's play Whose Line Is It Anyway. Game two, 8 p.m., Celtics Sixers, Celtics at home again.
I want to say Celtics minus, well, we don't know if Embiid's playing again. I'd say 10 again.
Nine and a half. Nine and a half, yeah.
Would you say it's must win? Yeah. Go ahead, Hank.
No? You go down 0-2? Oh, my God, no. Yeah.
Max just got a win off you right there. Well, Hank just pointed out to me last night that you guys have lost, what, three straight home games? I think it's four.
Four straight home games. I want to say.
Bad sports down? No, three because you only lost two against Hawks. Hawks, but the Bruins lost.
Oh, okay. Bruins lost.
Celtics. Oh, I didn't know you.
When you said that to me, I thought you were talking about the Celtics. I didn't know you were doing cross sports.
No, the TD Garden is cursed. That's not.
0-4, yeah. It's not good.
No. What were you going to say, Max? Saying that Joel Embiid not playing is better for the Celtics is absolutely insane when you saw the amount of wide open layups that the Celtics got last night.
Because there is nobody in the game. We always beat the Sixers when Embiid plays.
It was a layup line. But James Harden, not a rim protector.
You shot 90% in the first half because there was nobody at the rim, and you still lost. Factor fiction, we usually win when Embiid plays.
That doesn't mean anything. This is a different Sixers team.
You have to answer factor fiction. Fact, they usually win.
This is a different team, which was shown last night. Okay.
Because Embiid wasn't playing. So you want Embiid? I want Embiid.
Yeah. You guys both want Embiid.
You guys both want Embiid equally as bad. Someone's very wrong right now.
Yeah. This would be great.
Someone's going to look like an idiot. It really is everything I've ever wanted in a series where I have nothing to, like, I have no rooting interest.
I could just, I was saying it to PFT earlier, like, whoever loses we can just make fun of, and then if it flips the next game, we just go and make fun of that person. I think it's going to be a great series.
Like, I don't, like, the Celtics are very good. They're so good at losing, but in different ways.
Yes. I love smarmy, pissed off Hank right now where, like, he's throwing everything back in our faces, and he's just being a sourpuss.
But then I also love when Max loses because he

ties himself up

into a little red knot. Yeah, and he just

talks to himself. Everything's fine.

Everything's fine. Well, yeah.

Obviously, I wish that

we had better cleats. No.

No. No.

We didn't get no hit.

Alright. Other game.
Stop me if you heard this before, but Chris Paul got hurt. Yeah, it, no.
We didn't get no hit. All right.

Other game.

Stop me if you heard this before, but Chris Paul got hurt.

Yeah, it's tough.

Bad night to be a groin.

Yeah, I watched.

So I watched the whole game like the Jokic is just so fucking good.

He is so good.

He is a cheat code for like any time they need anything to happen,

whether it be him passing, pick and roll, or just scoring in the post, he is a cheat code for we need a basket right now. Denver, though, their defense was awesome in the fourth quarter.
They basically stepped it up, and I don't think the Suns scored for five minutes to start the third, fourth quarter. The Suns just don't have enough guys.
Yeah, Aiton can't stop Jokokic and when they try to single, when they put just Aiton on him, he can get around him in so many different ways and I feel like Jokic has taken over, you remember Dirk Nowitzki used to score the most unathletic looking baskets of all time like he'd be falling down, he'd always end up on the floor with a weird look on his face Jokic makes all sorts of uncoordinated shots. They look super uncoordinated when he does it, but it takes a tremendous amount of athleticism to pull off these moves because he's a fucking giant.
He doesn't really jump when he's shooting. If he's shooting close, he won't jump, and his touch is so good where it's just get it on the rim, it will roll in.
The Nuggets are just so much better than the Suns. And I know i know that again this could all turn because it's playoff basketball recency bias everything but just watching the game and watching the suns they have to basically have kevin durant devin booker both have like career nights which they could do they could i think that they'll get a couple i still i'm staying my prediction nugs and six yeah i think that katie and booker are going to have a couple of those games where they just go nuclear on everybody.
I think it's Nuggs in five. It might be.
It might be Nuggs in five. They don't – just watching the game, like the Nuggets have so many more answers and the Suns just – they can't – they have to play perfect and they haven't played even close to perfect.
They were even leading this game for the majority of the game.

And then Chris Paul again, like we said.

I mean, I do kind of feel bad because you want to see guys play,

but it's also like this is his age.

This is his history. Yeah, you see Rusillo's kind of – he's starting to step off the Chris Paul bandwagon.

But he's doing it in a very smart way, being like, you know what,

if the Nuggets win this series, it just means that people that don't pay attention to basketball as much as I do will finally start to realize how great Jokic is at the sport. So it's like he's turning this into a win for the game of basketball by having Chris Paul lose in the series.
So credit to Ryan. Ryan's learned how to, after all these years of depending on Chris Paul, he's finally learned how to spin zone a little bit off of a take.
Yeah. And he keeps saying, he also is like, yeah, well, when he was good.
Yeah. He knows.
He knows it's over. Yeah, he knows it's over.
I do think, Hank, you might be able to help out on this, given your deep ties to Taco Bell. I think that Taco Bell should bring back the Quesarito if Jokic wins the chip.
Agreed. Can we agree on that? It was an elite menu item.
And the old story about him getting drafted during a Taco Bell commercial, the big queserito, Jokic. I would like to see that menu item come back.
Can we make that happen, Hank? We'll see what I can do. Make some calls, please.
Make a call. I learned something else fun about Jokic last night.
Did you know that he's obsessed with horses and he used to be a jockey? That's the funniest jockey ever. Jockey's supposed to be short? Yeah.
They are. Not supposed to be.
They are. Yeah, he used to be a jockey that's the funniest joke he's supposed to be short yeah yeah he used to be a jockey which that that poor horse um but then he had to stop being a jockey because obviously he's a he's a giant but that horse must have been just sick of his life having yogic try to ride him but then i when you switch up to a real jockey after yogic it's like a lead batting donut yeah you're like, this is easy.
Yeah, I can go a million miles an hour. Yeah, the Nuggets have impressed me greatly.
They're fucking really, really good, and Jokic is just so much fun to watch. The NBA playoffs in general have been awesome.
Yeah. It's been so much fun.
And there was a stat. They did the ratings for the Warriors-Kings game seven.

It was the most watched first or second round game in 22 years.

More people watched that game than watched five out of six games in last year's finals.

Oh, I mean, yeah, the Warriors-Lakers could be a ratings.

I think that's going to break.

Yeah.

This record is going to last for one day.

This is probably the best second round series in basketball history.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'd say best second round all across the board. Four series, Okay.
Let's do hot seat. Cool throne.
Then we got Keith Yandel on the show. Awesome.
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My hot seat is television. I thought it was going to be you.
Hank, I had TV on the hot seat, too. It was my cool throne.
Oh, embrace debate. So the TV Writers Guild Union of America, I believe it's called, are going on strike.
They want a 2% raise, and they're not being given it, so they're going to go on strike. I learned today, I read a few articles about what, because this happened in in 2007 how many articles did you read today i read one article and some tweets but it was talking about the other shows that were affected in movies that were affected in 2007 heroes i don't know if you guys remember that show on nbc yeah one of my favorite shows of all time first season's unbelievable and the reason season two sucked is because it got written during the writer's strike and so it wasn't the real writers that wrote it and that makes that made so much sense for so long I was like what how did this show felt like this show sucked after season one season one's unbelievable I think the same thing happened with Friday Night Lights right Friday Night Lights season two where when Landry killed a guy.
Office season four was shorter. Lost.
That all fell apart, I guess, during the writer's strike. James Bond movie.
Basically, Daniel Craig. They have people that rewrite and work on the script on set and touch it up and make it good.
They had a rough draft of a script before the writer's strike, and then they had to go shoot it with no writers there, and Daniel Craig had to be the writer. So he basically wrote the movie, and it sucked, and then afterwards he was like, yeah, well, I had to fucking write it.
That's why it sucked. It kept Hank Schrader...
Quantum of Solace. Solace.
Solace, yeah. Solace.
It kept Hank Schrader alive in Breaking Bad. Yeah, that's true.
Also, the script writers for the NFL that year, that's when they might have turned in their best storyline, though, because that was the 16-0 Patriots that ended up losing in the final game in the Super Bowl. Yeah.
They went off on that one. Those scabs were good.
Yeah. TV's about to suck soon.
When is that going to be in, like, a year? I don't want to see you down this bad. The thing is crazy is like you're right that the hockey has stuck with me more than even I thought it would.
Even watching other hockey, like I don't. You just can't.
Flowers don't smell as sweet. No, and I, again, will watch any playoff hockey game.
I love playoff hockey. I don't really care about the regular season.
But last night I was watching these games being like, this is kind of miserable. Yeah.
It's sad. I'm sorry you're going through this.
I agree with Hank. It is tough being a Boston sports fan.
Yeah, people, it's been over 1,000 days since we won a championship. Oh, my God.
What? Goddamn. How long has it been since you had a parade? Over 1,000 days.
Like 2019? Oh, my God, that's forever. Pre-COVID.
Pre-COVID. Basically a new world.
COVID ruined Boston sports. Some people are saying.
Your cool throne. My cool throne is shorts.
Oh, nice. They're back.
We're going to Miami this week. It's going to be hot.
Going to pack some shorts. Maybe some rowback shorts.
Shorts are back. It's that time of year.
I'm not going to gonna eat dinner tonight my backpack is just filled with shorts right now yeah i'm not gonna eat dinner i'm worried it's gonna be so hot uh all right your hot seat cool throne uh so my hot seat was going to be television for that same reason so i'll just put i'll put fashion on the hot seat oh yeah the met gala was last night and again we have no idea what happens inside theala. Nope.
The best that we can figure out is that they do a lot of drugs, and then they look at pictures that were taken of them walking into the Met Gala. And then they talk about their pictures and themselves.
And they check out. There's a lot of Instagram happening inside the Met Gala.
I asked this on the stream last night, PFT. Do you think that there was one single person in the Met Gala that had the Rangers game or Celtic Sixers game on their phone watching? Yeah, I think Jared Leto.
I think he's a massive, massive puffy. He had it in that cat suit.
He had it on the front of where his eyes would be. He was just watching that and walking around.
Yeah. Probably Pete Davidson.
He's a big New York sports guy. Oh, is he there? Oh, yeah.
Is he, though? Was he there? I think he was. Is he a sports guy or does he just go to sports games? Oh, wow.
Casual? Calling him out. That's a genuine question.
That's most New York sports guys. I don't know.
I don't know. Not you, though, Billy.
No, no. I only like going to the Knicks games and then when they go to the playoffs because it sucks every other time.
And you don't even like Yankees games anymore because it's too short. Well, I still go.
The Met Gala is just a great reminder of how old you get every single year.

I think I was batting about 10% of celebrities that I recognized on the timeline.

It's like, oh, this woman is in episode three of this new cable TV show that I have never

heard of.

Yeah.

Sydney Sweeney, though.

Giselle looked great, though.

Didn't she?

She was wearing a bird outfit.

She was a bird.

Jared Leto probably tried to kill her and eat her. Respectfully, looked great and a cockroach broke in yeah yeah that was funny i was like what is that i thought that was pete davidson yeah cockroach um my cool throne hank you like this bouncing back cool throne bill belichick belichick's on the cool throne he's at it again up his old tricks.
I don't know if you've seen the fallout from the draft and what people speculate that the Patriots did in the first round. They drafted.
They did draft, but they had, I think, the 14th pick. Correct.
And they traded it to the Steelers. They were picking right in front of the Jets.
The Patriots traded that draft pick to the Steelers because they knew that the Jets wanted to take Broderick Jones out of Georgia, the offensive lineman. They knew that they want to take him to protect probably Zach Wilson a couple of years, right Billy? But they knew that their offensive line needed to get better.
The Patriots knew that the Jets wanted him. They traded it to the Steelers so they could take Broderick Jones because the Patriots then had like three cornerbacks that they loved that were still available, knowing that at 17, they'd be able to pick whatever guy that they wanted.
They even got less than they should have gotten from the Steelers because they wanted to move that pick so badly. They should have gotten like a third round pick or a third round pick this year and then another pick in a later year.
Instead, all they got from the Steelers was a fourth round pick specifically so they could fuck the New York Jets. That's brilliant.
That's brilliant. Belichick's back.
Yeah. Belichick is all the way back.
By the way, speaking of trading up and down, I saw a stat. I got to try to find it.
Do you know that the Saints, I think it was the last 20 years. It's like they've traded.
They've never traded back. Yeah, they've always traded up.
They've literally never traded back. That doesn't seem possible.
It broke my brain. I was like, wait, but where do all the picks go? Yeah.
You just always trade up. You trade up, and then you make the guy feel better because you can tell him we traded up to get you.
Right. Right.
A little boost to the ego. Never, ever.
Mickey Loomis. He's just always, always trading up.
Never, ever, ever trading back. I also love that Belichick did that move and sent a great offensive lineman to a rival AFC team because that's how much he hates the Jets.
Yeah. Here's the stat.
Dating back to 2007, the Saints have traded up 24 times without ever trading down. That doesn't make sense.
It doesn't. It doesn't.
All right. My hot seat is Dylan Brooks.
So, free agent Dylan Brooks, the Grizzlies released a statement saying they have informed pending free agent Dylan Brooks that he will not be brought back under any circumstances. That feels extra.
The under any circumstances was like any circumstances? Any circumstances any circumstances any circumstance the whole team decides to retire John Morant shoots all of his teammates that's I mean he on any circumstances I would that never say never you know what I'm now I'm hoping for some like nightmare scenario where it's where they have to bring Dylan Brooks back. That's a crazy statement under any circumstances.

I mean, you know, no one's really had a way.

I really do think he might have played himself like out of the NBA.

He talked himself.

He talked himself out of the NBA.

Well, and also the lack of play.

Yeah.

Out of the NBA.

But holy shit.

Under any circumstances.

I have a question for you, big cat.

Yeah.

He's Canadian, right?

I believe so.

Is he the biggest asshole Canadian of all time?

Because there's not a lot to choose from.

Yeah, he's from Canada.

Pretty much you have, I guess you could say Don Cherry is an asshole.

Yeah.

The geese.

The geese are assholes.

I'm trying to think.

I'm going to go Canada Geese, number one.

Canada Geese, easy number one. Easy number one.
And then I'm going to go Dylan Brooks, number two. Yeah.
Biggest assholes from Canada. Yeah, I mean, he's got to be.
Canadians are always nice. Yep.
I just looked up top ten Canadians. Avril Lavigne, Nickelback, William Shatner, Robin Thicke, Sinead Grimes, Justin Bieber, Rob Ford.
I mean, Justin Bieber, I guess Justin Bieber Justin Bieber for a moment You say Rob Ford's on that list? That's disgusting Top 10 best Canadians Just the best Justin Bieber for that little spell Where he was being a dick He was like pissing in plants in restaurants But he also like a classic case of the guy, the kid was fucking famous when he was like 14 years old. I actually think he's adjusted pretty well.
Yeah, we're actually the assholes in this situation. Right.
My cool throne was going to be the Met Gala, so I will pass. My cool throne shorts.
Nice. Shorts.
Shorts are back. I love shorts so much.
Go get some shorts. Shorts.
Billy. My hot seat is Antonio Brown.
So he owned an AFL team, the Albany Empire, and he had 95% ownership. And since he owned it, none of the players or coaches have been paid.
He's definitely just forgot that he owns it. Is that a real team? Albany what? Albany Empire.
The Albany Empire. I don't know why he just doesn't pay all of them and uses a tax write-off.
Is that how it works? I think that's why most people own teams, right? Because you get paid team owners? No, you own teams because you make a fuckload of money because you get to sell jerseys and you get to sell tickets to your games. Well, no, and you're missing the big team yeah later you get to sell the team even if i billion even if you run it into the ground and take a leak all over its ashes then you get like 700 what you paid for it yeah okay so antonio brown if you're listening to this right now i know to awl please remember to open your mail and also come on the podcast podcast in person.
My cool throne is Black Mirror.

Not only is it coming back, but if you guys watch the episode Metalhead, that's actually happening in real life.

Which one's that?

The one where they have the Boston Dynamics dog chasing people because they just put ChatGBT AI into a Boston Dynamics robot.

ChatGBT?

CHPT.

CHPT? Yes. Chat3CHP robot.
Chat GBT? Chi-P-T. Chi-P-T? Yes.
Chat 3 Chi-P-T. Chat GBT.
Billy's ongoing battle against... They gave Boston Dynamics robots brains, and now they can do whatever they want and think for themselves.
Damn. They gave them AI.
I still think we got less than a year left. Yeah.
Yeah. We're done.
We're cooked. It's all going to go south.
I think actually the the writers strike like there's a clause in there about future ai scripts yeah you want to defend against there is yeah because that's coming to the boston dynamics thing and we've definitely talked about on the show and it's definitely a little bit sensationalist to me but since boston dynamics has existed every time they put out a video everyone's like this is's like, this is a bad idea. This is a bad idea.

Yeah.

This is a bad idea.

We've been all over.

This is a bad idea.

And they also will throw.

And they just keep going and getting better and better and better.

And eventually, they're going to kill us all and be like, that was a bad idea.

That was a bad idea.

Yeah.

They also, they'll do like the random ones.

Remember that dog that slipped out a banana peel to be like, hey, look, banana peel can

take down a robot.

Well, did you see the NYPD one? No. Yeah.
They had NYPD Boston Dynamics robot dog. Yeah.
Well, the good news is maybe Boston Dynamics is off. Like, everyone expects them to just take over and run the table and everybody.
Maybe Boston Dynamics will choke right now and they won't be able to take over and dominate as is recent history. He's down bad.
Are you a cool thrown? That was a cool thrown. That was a cool thrown.
So down bad. He's down bad.
He's down. He needs a Celtics to win by like 50.
Not even. Right in Max's face.
No. I'm not going to be fingering buttholes after one win.
But Hank, if you win by one point tonight, you're going to be happy? Yeah. One game at a time a time why hank is down so bad too is he's

never in his brain even envisioned a scenario where the sixers could win this series that's a fact yep yeah that's a fact that's a fact you have never even like it's never even popped in your head randomly like oh what if this goes you're like sixers dead i also don't really even care about the soul patch as much as like I just fucking hate Philly fans so much. They're so insufferable.
I cannot let them have this over me. And they will really have it over you.
Oh, I mean, I'd like, you know. You can't even read your DMs right now.
Yeah. Well, you can't.
It's heinous. It's heinous.
Yeah. It's heinous.
It's heinous. Okay.
Instantaneous heinous. The second the game ends.
My hot seat is being Tiger's caddy. He and his caddy, Jolicova, have split.
Oh, no. He moved on to Patrick Cantlay.
So, he's not retiring. Tiger's not retiring.
Well, yeah. I mean, he caddies twice twice a year i would assume he's probably like now he's gonna have to carry work charlie so much longer you know what holding over until he moves to charlie tiger tiger needs to bring back fluff you remember fluff he's the best caddy of all time he used to smoke cigarettes on the course and he would use the smoke to determine which way the wind was blowing.
Yeah, this does mean Tiger's basically done.

He said he's not retiring.

Yeah, but if you say you're caddy, you're basically like,

hey, caddy, I can't pay you because we're not going to play.

Go caddy someone else.

Yeah, I mean, having your caddy leave you to then be like,

I'd rather spend my time working with Patrick Cantlay.

If your wife left you and she's like, you know what?

I'm going to cheat on you with Magic Johnson.

That's kind of what that would equate to.

Are you a cool throne?

My cool throne is football fans.

So all of us.

College football playoff announced today, 2024 and 2025.

College football playoff semifinals will be played on Thursday and Friday

of Super Wild Card Weekend.

I love that.

One game Thursday. One game Friday.
Thursday? Super Wild Card Weekend. I love that.
One game Thursday. No.
One game Friday. Thursday? Super Wild Card Saturday, Sunday, Monday.
Are you listening to what he's saying? Five straight days of playoff football. Okay, that's great.
I love that. That's awesome.
Starting in 2024, not this year. A playoff game on a Thursday? Yes.
That rules. Five straight days of playoffs, and we still have the bowl games.
That's awesome. So they're not going to be back-to- to back anymore it's going to have one game each day when we get to that moment put a note in January 8th 2024 when he's like holy shit this is the fucking best five days in a row be like remember that time you said no what I'm talking about for me for us this is going to be incredible it going to be amazing.
But a lot of people have to wake up and go to work on Friday. That sucks for them.
Yeah, but then there's a game on Friday night. That's awesome.
That is good. There's games on Saturday and games on Sunday and Monday.
And they're all playoffs. A lot of people are going to be upset about Thursday.
No, everyone loves it. Everyone on Twitter loves it.
What about the championship game? Put the note in. It's still Monday night.
Yeah, I will. Okay.
Let's get to an awesome interview with Keith Yandel talking playoff hockey, his career, everything. Great, great dude.
Before we do that, P.T.'s got a quick word from one of our sponsors. Hey, it's Rhea from Chicks in the Office.
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Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. He's hockey's Iron Man.
I think we can still call you Iron Man, right? Like, even though... Well, let's get into it, but it is Keith Yandel, longtime NHL pro, great guy, retired on Spittin' Chicklets last year, so very good friend of Barstool and the Spittin' Chicklets guys.
So fine, let's start there. I think you're still hockey's Ironman.
Why can't we call you that? Maybe ex-Ironman. I don't know.
When Phil passed it up, I think he gets it now, and deservedly so. Honestly, it was because, I don't know if you remember, remember Andrew Cogliano had the record going for a long time.
Then he got a one-game suspension, and then I kind of jumped into that one seed. So for me, it never really felt like it was mine because Cogs did so much and played so hard.
And then, you know, for me, I had it for, what, like six months, and then Phil breaks it. So glad another American guy could do it, and Phil, one of the best guys to ever lace him up.
Happy for him. Obviously, I was happy to have it for as little as I did, but it was definitely something I took pride in.
I think we should still call you Iron Man. It's like being president.
You're still called Mr. President even after you're out of office.
If you hold the title at one point you are the iron man but kept brought it up a second ago you're you're good friends with uh with biz you played with biz for a while in arizona did you play with wit as well overseas no i never played overseas um so wit and my brother grew up playing on the same team from when they were like nine years old on so i've known wit since i was a kid since he came over clogging houses uh the little known fact he's he's clogged every single one of our friends toilets the worst just a crumpler he'd take about five uh five five yards of toilet paper and just go go to work on himself but yeah so i'veitt since that. And yeah, it's been a great friendship and never played with him, but played against him for a long time in the NHL.
And one of those guys too, I don't know how much he knows this, but he was a big influence of mine. You know, just seeing a guy from our area of Massachusetts that could make it and be drafted as high as they did.
Even though he's such a goofball now, he was a true professional when he played. Always working out hard in the summer.
I tried to emulate him by working out with him in the summer. So he helped me out a ton.
Well, you answered my question because I was going to say who would be the better roommate to stay with if you were going on a road trip. It sounds like Biz then by a mile.

Yeah, not even close because the last thing you want is your toilet clogged on the road, like a four-day road trip. So Biz was never my roommate, but we used to have late nights in my room and Biz would come in.
He might take a sleeping pill or two and fall asleep at the edge of my bed. and we would roll him up in a cocoon and bring him out into the hallway.
And he'd be butt naked and be three in the morning. We'd just hear him banging on the door because he didn't have a room key or anything.
So it was always fun messing with him and having our sleepovers together. He did that on this couch one time.
I just passed out. Yeah.
He's a narcoleptic. Yeah.
Well, I think he did like two streams over the course of four days and a podcast so you can imagine that that takes it out of you oh yeah yeah i love calling someone a crumpler yeah that's a great what is what is actually like two ply yeah but in the true sense of the term he's a crumpler uh all right so yeah go ahead i was gonna say like my family growing up we were a one-ply family we couldn't afford the good stuff and he was still clogging it with that that's hard to do that takes a lot of like work that's a real crumpler uh so speaking of those guys and you yourself like we always have found interviewing hockey guys like for some reason they are probably the best on the mic best in interviews compared to other you know sports not that other sports aren't great but like what is it about hockey guys is it because you guys don't get paid like as much as some of the other sports like what is it like it does feel like whenever you know like even saying wit there how he you looked up to him we all think of him as that goofball and he was a really good athlete who got drafted really high and played in the nhl for a long time yeah i think i think the big thing about hockey players is none of us i'd say 98 of us don't take ourselves too serious so it's you can shit on each other you can uh you can take it because one of the one of the best advice i got early in my career was if you can't take a joke you become a joke so i took that for for i didn't take that for granted so it was always because you know how locker rooms are it's like you guys you're shitting on each other all day every day it might get old it might wear on you some days if you're having a bad day but uh at the end of the day in hockey even though you might not think we're getting paid enough but i'll show you my bank account um we i don't think we still have fun i think you guys should get paid more i'm just saying it is like like we have baseball players sometimes they're not the best interviews they get paid like i don't know what it is just hockey guys for some reason it feels like uh you can connect with them more than you know maybe other athletes i i would say the majority of hockey guys even though it's an expensive sport growing up and it's it it's a lot of blue collar guys guys that you know parents are working two jobs to get you to uh get you to the ranks and afford your equipment and afford travel team and and you get a lot of small-town canadian kids too that um yeah you come from nothing that from And it, it really is too. Like if you're going to make it to the NHL at about 16, 17 years old, like you're out on your own, like whether it's, you're going to prep school or you're going to junior.
So you gotta, you gotta grow up quickly. And, you know, I, I just think for us is just being humble.
Um, you know, I always say that the NHL is the best league in the world for meeting people and some of my closest friends in this world. Pretty much everyone that I'm friends with I've met through hockey, whether it was growing up playing or playing in the NHL.
Yeah, I really just think that the way guys grew up, and it's obviously that team. You can't win in hockey if you're not a good team you see it in basketball two guys can win you a championship but hockey everyone has to be together and i think that uh that doesn't create too many big egos yeah yeah how does that work if a guy comes in from overseas and let's say they're from russia they don't speak english they get put on the team and they have to learn how to bust balls and how to joke with guys in language that they don't speak is there ever that language barrier where you try to like fuck around with a guy just as a friend and it's not just it's not getting through to them oh yeah all the time especially especially with the russians because they're a little harsher uh i think the way that they grew up is a little harsher than maybe we did they they uh they're pretty serious all the time so yeah there have definitely been some jokes that have said and guys uh are not really too fond of it um i can think of one example of this guy a guy played with unbelievable player he's still playing um dad and obvi plays in in dallas and we would do the the lineup sheet and he'd have that he kind of had that haircut like uh caesar from planet of the apes so i was i was calling him caesar and he was like and he grabbed me on the bus one day he's like why you call me caesar i don't like this so it's kind of one of those things i had to uh explain it to him but like you said when you have to explain when you have to explain a joke it's not uh not that funny yeah yeah so so when you retired there was a story that was written that basically was like, Keetien, no best teammate ever.
And what did you – did you consciously – like I pride myself on being a great teammate or like all these stories about how funny you were in the locker room and making guys feel at ease. Was that something you actually thought about or was it just that's a natural – that's your personality, that's who you've been? Yeah, well, that article took me a while to write too so um good teammate yeah yeah yeah for me it was kind of i don't know it's my my dad is a guy he's got a million friends um treats everybody unbelievable everyone has amazing things to say about them my mom's probably the most loyal person you ever meet um my brother sister, my brother's got a million friends, my sister the same way.
So it's kind of like I grew up that way of just kind of involving everyone. Even when I was in school, I wasn't the guy that just hung out with, you know, one group of people.
I was hanging out with everybody in every circle. So I think for me, it was just kind of, I love bringing people together.
Even to this day, it's just having get togethers, like always having people around you. It's just a fun thing for me.
But yeah, I would say everybody, like there are guys in the NHL that any guy could, you could say that about. Every guy is a good teammate that I've ever played with, you know, maybe one or two guys that aren't great, but those guys don't stick around.
And I knew for me sticking around, obviously, when you're not the best player in the world, you got to have some other intangibles. And I knew for me is being a good teammate, being a guy that people can trust, you know, just being there for guys, no matter what.
And I think a lot of it came to when I was young in the league, I had some of the best mentors, mentors going and they weren't, it was of during that era where young guys didn't play too much and uh all the guys would kind of not take care of them but I had guys like Shane Doan, Adrian Acoyne, Derek Morris, Ed Jovanowski just guys that really took care of me showed me the ropes and yeah I just tried to do the same. Yeah I mean the story is it must be awesome reading the the article that was written where every like they pulled like everyone in the nhl and they're like yeah keith yandle's the best guy ever i never read it shut up i swear to god yeah no i didn't even uh didn't even know about that so i got i'll i'll have to check it out now that i'm retired i'll uh i'll check that out okay yeah yeah it's like it's an oral history your teammates.
Yeah, like even Biz said the first word that comes to mind is levity.

There's no way Biz knows that word.

No, absolutely not.

I don't even know what that means.

But the fact there was an oral history, like, yeah, of course they'd ask Biz.

They wouldn't be like, hey, Biz, can you write something for us? He had just heard that word levity like a minute before he got interviewed.

It was like, yeah, that sounds good.

That sounds like a good word. Can we talk a little current hockey playoffs? Absolutely.
So we had the debate on Monday after the Bruins choke. First of all, do you call it a choke? Was it a choke knowing how volatile the hockey playoffs are? I don't think it was a choke as much as people are saying.
Obviously, if the Bruins didn't break every record that they had and it was just one versus eight and you have to play Florida, like you look at Florida's team, they're loaded. They got superstar players.
They got guys that are playing amazing this year and just carrying the team. So I don't think it's one of those things where it's as big of an upset to me because i've been watching florida living in florida watching them all the time um you know you see how good they are so i think i think for me it wasn't as big as a surprise all my meathead buddies back home who thought the bruins were going to win every series and four uh were probably a little bit shocked but i think for me it wasn't it wasn't too big of a shock just because no one, because also, too, the Panthers have been playing playoff hockey for the last month, trying to get into the playoffs, fighting and clawing.
And the Bruins really hadn't been tested pretty much all year. I mean, would they have 10 losses or whatever it was? So it's one of those things when a team's playing playoff hockey going into the playoffs, they're definitely a tough out.
So now that they're out, is it wide open now? It honestly is. I think everybody had Boston going to the finals.
Now it's like, okay, who do you take? Yeah, you guys still in the Canadian? I think everybody had Boston going to the finals. Now it's like, okay, who do you take? Yeah, you guys you guys still in the Canada Toronto on the Leafs? I'm on the Leafs I'm on the Oilers he's believing in the Jesus I'm a believer that this is the Leafs year in the memory of Rob Ford he's like their Harambe this year I'm on a if McDavid is as good as everyone says, prove it.
You got to win a ring.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I would love to see him win a ring,

but there's also storylines too,

like the Toronto team where,

you know,

they haven't got out of the first round in 19 years.

They got superstar guy.

They probably have more superstars than Edmonton does just up and down their

lineup.

So I don't think that's going to be an easy series for them.

I think Florida is going to beat them in that series.

I would love to see Toronto move on, but just not against my cats.

Yeah, so I think it is pretty much wide open.

If I saw Jersey in the finals versus, I mean, Vegas is an awesome team,

but if I saw Vegas versus Jersey, it would be not surprising to me.

As an American, do you have any pride in keeping the cup on this side of the wall? A hundred percent. Especially working up there this year, I did some broadcasting in Toronto for Sportsnet.
I think they haven't won it since 93, Montreal, is that correct? Yeah, it's crazy. You know, as much as that country takes pride in their hockey and not having won it since 93, I think it would just be amazing to keep it in the U.S.
for as long as we have. But that also being said, I'd love to see McDavid get a cup.
I'd love to see Austin Matthews get a cup. But it is nice having that on the Canadian guys, just knowing that the cup hasn't been on Canadian soil in 30 years.
So talking about McDavid, he is that much better than everyone else watching it. What is it specifically that is that much more elite? Is it speed? Is it like, I mean, it is crazy watching him on the ice because you're like this guy's moving at just a different level than everyone else i honestly don't think he even gets tired like he well he comes off the ice all the time if he didn't get tired he would play 60 minutes let's just be honest yeah i wonder i wonder honestly how long he could play and be effective without coming off the ice um but he he is he's got the, he's got the speed, he's got the vision.
And in the beginning of the year, beginning of his career, he didn't shoot the puck as much, but now he's shooting it. I think he's been, he's been, I don't want to say called out, but he's been challenged by some of his teammates to shoot the puck more.
And he did this year and he was scoring basically at will. So's uh in you know if you're looking at basketball and you look at a guy like Giannis or something like that who's seven foot and can run and jump like McDavid's probably six one 185 pounds maybe um in a physical sport too and he's just he can get away with whatever he wants because he's so fast and just the dual threat of being one of the best passers in the league and now having uh the ability to score kind of whenever you want is just taking his game through the roof and he also he doesn't cheat it either he's not a guy who's cheating for the offense and looking to go on breakaways every shift he's uh he's committed to his d zone and and committing uh committed to winning zone and committed to winning.
That's kind of one of the only reasons I'd like to see a Canadian team win. So if he was playing, if there were, let's say, 20 Conor McDavid's on a team, he had to play every position, including goaltender, do they win a Stanley Cup? Yeah, not even close.
Witt disagrees with you. 20 of them? Yeah, but they're goalies, too, and they play defense.
So every position on the ice is Connor McDavid. Also, remember the locker room.
There's no Keith Yandel in the locker room to lighten it up. It's only Connor McDavid's.
Maybe you've got to bring in a good coach, bring in a coach like Biz or something. No, no, Connor McDavid's a coach, too.
Oh, he's coaching, too. There's just one puck, too.
They don't win. Yeah, there might be some jealousy on there.
It's like, oh, I want to take more shots. No, I want to take more shots.
When watching playoff hockey, there's two things that are just painstaking if you're a fan. One is we talked about the overtime loss for the Bruins or the Avalanche didn't go to overtime.
But overtime hockey, game seven, there's nothing like it.

The other one is when a team can't get the puck out of their own zone for what feels like forever.

So you obviously playing defense.

What goes through your head when you're at minute two, minute three,

minute like holy shit.

Are you guys trying different things?

Walk us through what's happening on the ice when something like that happens. Either it depends.
During playoffs, you're trying not to take a penalty. If it's regular season, you might even just like knock the net off and risk taking a penalty because you're so tight.
You have no oxygen in your brain. Everything shuts down.
Guys look like they're going a million miles an hour. Whenever I was at the end of a shift like that and there were guys buzzing around, I would just yell, too many men, too many men, to see if the ref would blow the whistle, but it never really worked.
But it honestly feels like there's too many men on the ice. And it's a funny story.
We played in Dallas. And Dallas is where you go into the locker room is in the zone.
It's not through the bench. You know what I mean? Yeah.
So I got hit with a puck and the shift kept going. And my leg was completely done.
I couldn't even put any weight on it. I was trying to get off the gate.
And there was a cop standing at the door. He's like, I can't open the gate, dude.
Like, what are you thinking right now? In the middle of the gate, and they're just snapping it around. They end up scoring, thankfully, so I got to go to the locker room.
Yeah, but it is crazy to watch when you – I mean, it's great when your team is like that in the zone where you're like, something's going to happen because there is a breaking point where it's like, if you can keep the pressure on that long, there will be a goal, and you can feel it coming. It's got to be just maddening to have that happen against you.
Yeah, it is. But like one that comes to mind too is the Bruins when they won it in 11, they were hemmed in their zone for, it seemed like five minutes and Gregory Campbell blocked like five shots in the, it was at home.
The crowd was going insane. He ended up breaking his leg, I think uh on one of them one of the eight that he blocked and so you can get momentum that way if you're able to if you're able to keep it out of your net because your whole bench is going insane because you know how how tough it is on the ice and guys are just selling out to try to block it to keep it out of your net and uh if you can if you can off like that, it brings the crowd into it.
It brings your team into it even more, and you get the momentum swing on that end. But coming to the bench after a shift like that, you're just searching for some oxygen.
As a defenseman, what goes through your head when you know that you're about to have to block a shot? Because that's the craziest thing that guys do it's it's honestly insane to watch it you you lay your body down on the ice and you're just like okay i've accepted the fact that i'm going to be an excruciating pain in about half a second yeah that's why i never really did it and probably the reason the reason why i was why i was uh able to be the iron man because my theory was i never asked the goalies to go play power play for me so why should I have to block it for them and right they're making they're making a lot of money they're wearing a lot more padding than I am so uh I used to let them handle it but no it's awful especially the one the ones that you don't see like when they hit you in the ankle uh when you're not looking when there's there's like this much room of no padding above your ankle and if it hits you there in between the skate and your shin pad it's it's the worst and uh putting on your skate for the next couple weeks is is not fun so speaking of that like we said at the beginning uh iron man we're still calling you iron man because like pft said mr president that still stands uh over a thousand games consecutively what how did you do it and what was the worst injury you played with because I mean that's insane just even talking about getting hit in the leg like going out and playing the next day the worst one was when I got hit in the mouth uh I broke my upper jaw I lost nine teeth on upper and lower that that was I wouldn't say That was just the worst, like everyday pain. I had a knee injury.
I got hit from behind in Vancouver and went into the boards and had a bad, like not a real bad knee injury, but that one was awful just because every stride it hurt. But the face one was more of just like the everyday pain and looking in the mirror every day and feeling that pain.
And you have to wear the full mask when you break your jaw like that. So it was awful for about eight weeks.
And it was right before Thanksgiving, too, so I couldn't enjoy my favorite holiday. So what were you eating? Were you drinking smoothies gravy oh and did you never thought about coming out like you like even with the knee injury you weren't like hey maybe I'm not a hundred percent like maybe maybe I should sit out a couple and get healthy so that one actually because I wasn't really aware of my my streak then and uh I had a my coach in Arizona at the time Dave Tippett he had a streak himself I think of like 600 games and he was the one who came into the locker room and he was like hey uh I didn't play in a game I didn't feel 100% and I regret it to this day so I was like all right done I was like and he knows I'm not going to be 100% I might be obviously a limited ice time might have played power play and sparingly here and there but uh yeah i was able to gut it out and um the trainers too the trainers in the nhl take such good care of us there like i i had a bad uh i broke like the the heel bone in my foot i got hit with a puck and the trainers weren't we had a back-to-back game in boston and then in philly and the trainers were in my room till like four in the morning working on my foot just a regular season game just working on my foot to keep it loose and so I could wake up in the morning and get it in the boot and play in the game so those guys deserve a lot of credit for it as well.
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You mentioned earlier about just screaming on the ice, too many men, too many men. You also would scream like juicy whenever something nice happened.
And you invented the word sock. As far as I know, maybe you heard it from somebody else, but maybe, maybe you could walk us through the word sock and any of our listeners who might not know about the legend of sock.
So it, remember everyone used to say psych back in the day. Yeah.
Yeah. You guys do that too.
So we, we kind of just took it. It was me and Chris Bork, Ray Bork's son.
We kind of one day would just, someone said, yeah, psych. And then someone just said, yeah, sonk.
And then it just stuck from there on. So it's basically just when I would do it during the game, I would fake a pass and just basically psych somebody or sonk them.
And they would go the other way and it would just, it would crack me up. And it got caught on the mics on the net one game.
And our video coach called me in after the game. He's like, what the fuck did you say on the ice? And I was like, because you could hear me laughing in the video because I songed him.
And like he bit on it hard, right? So I'm dying laughing behind the net sitting there. And I just go, yeah, I songed you.
And he is wrong with you and i'm like i don't know man but it's just little things like during the 82 game season like you get there are some games where you just gotta entertain yourself and uh and find some ways to have some laughs on the ice so so would you just you would say it every time you song someone you just say it on the ice to no one? Yeah, I would. Towards the end of my career, everyone on the bench would yell it.
Guys that I did it to that knew about it, they would be like, fuck, you sonked me. It kind of grew into – and then guys would be standing in front of the net.
They'd be like, you're not going to sonk me. You're not going to sonk me.
So it turned into a fun little thing. And obviously a lot of this has to do with the spitting chicklets guys.
But yeah, you'd hear it in the crowd if I did it, like the crowd yelling it. So it was a lot of fun.
That's awesome. That also goes both ways.
So if somebody sonks you, did they let you know? Would they say sonk to you? Yeah, you can't sonk the sonk master, though. I wouldn't get sonked.

But it was also, too, it was like in the defensive zone when I had the puck behind the net, you know,

during like a control breakout?

Yeah.

There's a guy standing in front of the net.

I would fake a pass to the left or right,

and he would just bite on it.

So I was never really in that position to get sonked,

or I probably would have gotten sonked.

Yeah.

I mean, it just rolls off the tongue. You can say it for anything, too.
It's a very versatile word. Yeah.
All right. So who do you have winning the Stanley Cup now that we're one round through, which it's crazy.
Bruins out. Avs out.
Like, there's been some pretty crazy upsets. Rangers.
Rangers. Rangers are just choke artists, it It feels like you played for the Rangers for a little.
I mean, something's wrong with that franchise. Yeah, I don't know.
I thought that this year loading up, I thought they had what it takes, especially having one of the best goalies in the league is, you know, that's going to be a tough one for them to swallow. But I think it's up in the this year in the beginning of uh before playoffs I had Dallas and Boston in the finals um I think Dallas has the best goalie with Jake Ottinger he's a stud uh young kid he he was unbelievable in the playoffs last year against Calgary uh this year I think it took him two or three games to kind of find where he is and he's been lights out since.
They took care of business in five games. So I think Dallas.
Now I want to go Dallas, Florida in the finals. Oh, wow.
So like when you're playing defense and your goalie, would your goalie ever tell you like, hey, I'm not seeing it tonight. Like I need extra help here.
Like I need you to help me out. Would they tell you that kind of stuff? Is it game to game that goalies, like they're seeing the puck or they're not seeing the puck? I don't think a goalie would ever really admit it.
It's kind of something on the bench you see where if a guy's not tracking it, usually you can tell in warm-ups if the goalie's not tracking it well. And then sometimes he plays unbelievable after not making a save in warm-ups.
But, yeah, never really a goalie would really come out and say that about himself. It was more you'd see it from the bench and be like, all right, so-and-so is not feeling it tonight.
We got to block shots or make sure they're not getting second opportunities. But like I said, it's just a team game.
You recognize things like that and guys pick each other up. Because offensively, some guys aren't there.
Some games, you've got to help them out. So it's helping each other out all the time.
This is a dumb question, but anyone who's ever gone to a hockey game, there's always the one guy in the crowd who's yelling, shoot the puck at all times, all times. Has a coach ever, though, like maybe you guys aren't scoring, not a lot of opportunities has he ever been like hey guys maybe just shoot the puck because there is there are times it's like just shoot it more and maybe good things will happen yeah it is because it is and I agree with that too well sometimes you need to simplify it when you're looking for especially in the power play if you're looking for seam passes after seam pass and nowadays every team scouts scouts so well that they uh you know they they know what you're looking for the majority of the time so i do agree with sometimes shooting the pocket is the uh easier option but there's also four other guys in the lanes or um you know trying to break up a pass but but quenville quenville was definitely one of those guys just fucking shoot the puck so yeah he but he was an old school simple uh like wanted to simplify things uh if i was if i was a power play coach i would let guys kind of do what they wanted but i think it's more of the fans that get frustrated than than anyone else and i don't understand why it drives me insane but you just gotta shoot it yeah and it sounds like the fans that get frustrated than anyone else, and I don't understand why.

It drives me insane.

You just got to shoot it.

Yeah, and it sounds like the fans sometimes are right.

They just got to shoot the fucking puck.

They might be right sometimes, but I don't know.

Guys, we don't go to their jobs and yell them to type faster.

It's kind of a thing.

Just enjoy the game. You were talking about goalies being able to see see the puck i feel like goalies are the weirdest people on the planet i remember hearing a story about how brayden hopey would sit down before games and he'd take like a grease board and put five dots on it and then just dart his eyes back and forth to the dots in a specific order are goalies as weird as we think they are yeah.
They really are. And it's kind of the, so usually the starting goalie is just out of control.
Like you don't talk to them. Don't go near them on game day.
And then the backup goal is usually the biggest beauty on the team, rallying guys to go because they know they're not playing that much. And the funnest guys, but those starting goalies, man, I think it's from a young age on where you're in the crease you got no one to talk to you're not on the bench you might you probably feel like you're on an island out there so i wouldn't wish being a goalie on anyone but you know there are some guys that handle it really well i played with a few guys mostly backups that are unbelievable guys that you're uh hanging out with all the time but the majority of the goalies, they're doing room service night before game.
They're not going out. They're not checking out the town.
They're just kind of in their zone from the night before until puck drops. You've got to be a psycho to be a goalie.
Definitely. What's the best city to go to on the road? So I always said Chicago is my favorite.
I'm not just trying to pump pump uh big cats tires i wouldn't say that maybe as of late um you know you have vegas um arizona is awesome to go visit florida is amazing but i always loved chicago there's always great food people are super nice great shopping um vancouver the roxy flu you ever have the roxy flu i've had the roxy flu before but played through it um actually that's probably why i got hurt in vancouver it wasn't wasn't well rested that'd be funny if your iron man streak ended with the roxy flu and they listed it everyone would know too yeah yeah yeah all right so uh to bring up bad memories because you brought up Chicago, I have two questions. One, the biggest scumbag of all time, Rafi Torres.
You actually, do you take a little blame for that hit? Because I think you hit the puck out of Hosa. Like, Hosa had the puck.
You swiped it from him. And then Rafi Torres, like 50 seconds later, decided to take his head off.
You can admit, like, that was too much. Was it really, though? I mean.
Yeah, it was. It was too much.
He didn't have the puck. He fucking elbowed him in the face.
That guy was a complete savage. He didn't care who it was.
I remember we played. Yeah, probably that was definitely the wrong thing, especially against a legend like H.
Right. You feel bad.
You feel bad for it. But we won the series.
Obviously, you don't want to win it with a guy that's out. But we won the series, and that was a huge, huge stepping stone for us.
But definitely, Tico played. He played on the line of being a complete savage.
But one of those guys you want on your team. He's just a complete gamer.
We'll put his face through the wall. He'll hit you from behind.
He'll do anything to win, but yeah, that might have been a little dirty. I would assume you need at least one guy on every roster that has that, you know, maybe playing a little bit over the line sometimes just to set some tone and stuff.
Like, you guys, in all the locker rooms, you knew who that was, I would assume. Oh, yeah, and it used to be, beginning of my career, there was maybe two or three guys on every team that you're like, all right, we're going to get ran from behind 16 times tonight.
Just the respect factor wasn't there for some guys because a lot of it was fourth fourth line guys trying to make it trying to stay in the lineup and just doing anything it took to to be in the NHL which you gotta you gotta respect but it was never fun playing against those guys I think it's kind of tapered down a little bit now there might be one on every team maybe if that but I think the respect factor throughout the league is at an all-time high right now, and guys aren't taking too big of liberties on guys. So one other thing, I think it was from the same series.
My memory has completely started to fade here, but Mike Smith flopped. 100%.
Okay, thank you. All right, yes, he flopped.
That was a flop so smitty's probably the best athlete in this and he's a goalie right they're usually not great athletes he's probably the best athlete i ever played with like could hit a baseball 400 feet he gives a great golfer he can throw a football most canadian guys can't throw a football like he's he's slinging it out there and um and he's probably six four 220 maybe six five and completely shredded um but he just loved to flop and he would get us he would get us some power plays but he would also start some scrum sometimes where he would flop and then there'd be a big brawl and it's like jesus smitty can you just stay in your stay in your crease but he was so good at playing playing the puck it was like having a third deed back there yeah he was i'm showing pft right now is the andrew shaw came around yep and like he he looked like he got like uh windmill windmill like power punch it's a great flop i was so i hated him so much and that stupid wiley Coyote helmet. I hated him so much.

I will say he was very good at flopping.

He could go play in the MLS.

If you're an athlete, that's an athletic flop.

He did a gymnastics move on that.

That's the best part about playoff hockey is you just remember these moments

where you're like, I fucking hate Rafi Torres and Mike Smith for life.

I fucking hate these guys.

If you hung with them, you would love them. Oh, I'm sure because every hockey guy is cool.
They're beauties. Yeah, exactly.
I got a question, because as a Capitals fan, I've been lucky enough to watch Ovi play for these last 18, 19 years, and he's been awesome to watch. But it also does seem like he's been scoring the same goals for 18, 19 years, especially on the power play.
I mean, he's great in the open ice, too, but he sets up shop, and you know where he's going to be, and you know when he's been scoring the same goals for 18, 19 years, especially on the power play. I mean, he's great in the open ice too,

but he sets up shop and you know where he's going to be

and you know when he's going to hit that one time

or when they cycle it around on the power play.

And no team has figured out a way to truly stop Ovi

to be able to do that.

Have you tried to figure out different ways to defend that?

Or maybe there's just no way to stop it.

Everybody tries.

I remember when we played you guys in the Eastern Conference

Let's go. or maybe there's just no way to stop it everybody tries there is i remember when we played uh you guys in uh eastern conference or was it the east whenever we played uh those to go to the eastern conference finals um i think dan girardi just stood right in front of him didn't move was just like all right we're just going to keep the guy right in front of you that worked out we won the series but it's it's one of those things he shoots it so hard and he's got that big banana hook so goalies can't see where it's coming from they can't like you know uh read where like if it's going to go glove or blocker and i don't think honestly he knows where it's going i'm sure he does but he just rips it as hard as he can doesn't care if it's high um doesn't care if it's going at someone's face he just rips it to score which you got to respect out of him uh but he when someone's been doing it that long it's not a fluke there's a reason why he's got nine million goals from the same spot it's a lot of people don't want to go out and block it even the goalies like he he's putting it right here like if if you get hit right here by a pocket even's even with the equipment on that's hurting the goalie so it's a uh it's a tough job to try to stop him but uh you gotta you gotta really just be impressed with what he's done from that spot for so so long there's so many goals that he scores that dude they go right past the goalie's head yeah and you can see the goalie react after the pucks past them like they didn't even see it but they heard it go past their ear yeah yeah you can hear the whiz like if he's if you can see the goalie react after the pucks past them.
Like they didn't even see it, but they heard it go past their ear. Yeah.
Yeah. You can hear the whiz.
Like if he's, if you're on the, in, in front of the net and he rips a one, uh, one time, or even if it's five feet away from you, you hear the just flying by your ear and it's just, you can smell the rubber from it. It's just, it's, it's vicious when he shoots the pot.
Uh, all right. So I got a Hank submitted question.
Hank's being a creep. He's on the Zoom, but he's hidden on the Zoom, so he wanted to ask this.
Why is what is it that Patrice Bergeron does that makes him so elite at face-offs? And what is the skill that face-offs, like some guys are just that much better? Because it feels like it should be 50-50. Well, honestly, the older you get and the respect that he has throughout the league, he probably gets away with a little bit more than maybe a younger guy might, whether it's having your feet a little bit too far ahead or being low and not letting the other guy get in.
But obviously it's it's a it's a skill that he's worked on he knows what he's doing you also got to give the the wingers a lot of credit like march he's a guy uh that jumps off the off the line faster than i'd say chris crider might be the only one faster than him to get off the line to help retrieve pucks so you do You do got to give credit to hisers, but he's a guy, he's just a, he's so, he's so crafty. He's not the strongest guy I'd say in the NHL.
He's not the biggest guy, but he's just so good with his stick. He's such a veteran.
He's probably practices face-offs 500 times a day, whatever, whatever it is. So a guy that works on his craft and yeah, he's, it's actually impressive what he can do in the face-off doc is you got, you might not notice it, but they have so many face-off plays where it's kind of the only time in a hockey game you can truly set up a play like in basketball or football where you can pretty much have routes and they score a lot of goals off a, off a face-off plays.
And that's a, that's cause, cause he's, he's cleaning people out in the draws. Yeah.
That's interesting. Yeah.
Was it Whitney that told us that if you start losing a bunch of face, face offs, did you say like hit the rice bucket, pal? Yeah. Hit the rice.
Afterwards, get those forearms. Yeah.
Actually, I did a bad job earlier because I gave you the option of biz and wit who you'd rather room with. I'm going to throw R a into the mix.
Oh yeah What about R.A.? Biz, Witt, or R.A.? I wouldn't sleep in the same state as R.A. Get a contact high.
Well, you probably wouldn't have to sleep. That's a good thing.
Yeah, that's true. There would be no sleeping with him.
So me and Witt have a bet in the Florida-T the Toronto series that if Florida wins, Whit has to spend a weekend at Pearson Airport in Toronto. And if I lose, I got to go to Daytona Beach with R.A.
for a weekend. Oh, my God.
What a bet. What a bet.
That's pretty good. Holy shit.
I had a couple last questions. The Oilers.
So they have, we talked about Conor McDavid. They also have, I think it's historical how good their power play is.
56%. I mean, it's insane.
Is that just they have the best guys? Or like what makes, from a defensive perspective, when you're playing against a power play, what are the the elite power plays what are they doing that's different than everyone else so they're just so unpredictable they're they're giving you looks that you mostly don't like pretty much everyone kind of has the same power play we have one guy up top of one time we're on the flank a guy coming down downhill front guy pretty much everyone does that same setup, but they just have guys moving the entire time. McDavid doesn't stop moving, and him and Leon just create so much off of each other.
I think because they're both so elite that they can just kind of see what just them two see, and the other three guys on the ice are just like, all right, we're not going to get in the way here. So I just think the looks that they give you are so unpredictable that they're coming at you from the – they could be behind the net.
They could be up top. They could be passing.
They could be shooting. They're just so unpredictable.
I mean, to have a playoff series at 56% and it's actually insane like to i mean billy that's over half of the time they score goals and their regular season was insane too it was like in the 30s yeah i mean power plays are up a little bit the percent used to be if you could be 20 on the power play and 80 on, you had a good year. But now teams are like 30.
I think they were 32% during the season. 32.4%, yeah.
It's insane. And it's those two guys.
I think they get to play pretty much the whole two minutes, which is always a nice perk, but they deserve it. Even if they shut them down on the power play, because Biz was saying last night that Vegas was the least penalized team all year.
So even if they can stay out of the box, then the series could go a little different. What about that perspective? If you're going into the box, do you hear what the opposing fans are yelling at you when you're just sitting there for two minutes waiting to get back on the ice? Do you listen to it or do you just try to block it all out? Usually some people will put their face, like there's usually a little crack and some people will put their mouth through and yell at you.
Some people are hilarious. I think it was Vancouver used to have like guys dancing in front of you, like dancing next to you.
Those guys are pretty funny um but it's also an opportunity if someone opens their mouth I've seen some some fans get absolutely shriveled by guys in the box where if you're if your uh partner with you isn't isn't up to standards for some people like you're gonna get ricochet shots at your at your friend next to you or your girlfriend. So it can be pretty nasty.
If you go out a guy, I've seen some guys get absolutely shriveled from the players in the box. Is it the best feeling in the world when you're in the box and your team gets the kill? You have to be sitting there like, this is all on me.
Yeah. Especially when it's late in the game or in can't you're sick to your stomach the whole time there there's not a worse feeling and then when you if they do score and you have to do the walk of shame across it is it's the worst there's not a worse feeling the best the best penalty box moment of all time ty domi when that guy uh he squirted water over the over the uh glass onto the guy the guy tried to come at tyomi, who's probably the last guy that I would ever want to fight in the NHL, and he just pulled him into the box and beat the fuck out of him inside the penalty box.
Yeah. That was great.
It's amazing, and I think that's probably deterred some people from trying to climb in the box or put your head over the glass because once someone's on our territory, it's kind game on you can do whatever you want especially back then you could do whatever you want you had mike milbury going in the stands and beating up people so it is uh it's it's a little bit different now with uh the way the world is but if someone falls into that box and and and you're in there you it wouldn't be a fun day to be in that no definitely not what happened that kid

in cincinnati yeah in the zoo yeah r.i.p. r.i.p.
harambe when you're uh when you're on the ice and

a ref call a ref is like you know they're getting together trying to figure out who the penalty is

on have you ever sonked a ref and just like skated off the ice so i used to because i didn't i didn't

pk so anytime a guy that would pk if they got a penalty, I would try to go to the boxes if I did it. So that guy could penalty kill because I knew I wasn't getting out there on the PK.
Sometimes it worked. I'd say, you know, there's a handful of times where it works.
Now I think they might, I saw last night they reviewed something where a guy, I think it the rangers game they reviewed who the player was and they i think it was miller or something like that but uh during regular season they don't really check for that so if there's kind of something going on i would just skate to the box and a lot of the times they're not going to question it you'll do the bid for him yeah you're like uh stand up guy who's that guy on succession that offered to take jail time oh was it tom yeah yeah it was tom yeah tom's like yeah i'll do the bid for you. Yeah, I'll do it.
Good guy. Who's that guy on Succession that offered to take jail time? Oh, was it Tom? Yeah, yeah, it was Tom.
Yeah, Tom's like, yeah, I'll do the bid for you. Yeah, I'll do it.
Good guy. Best teammate.
Yeah, best teammate by far. All right, so I had one last question.
This has been awesome. We got to have you back on because we get tired of just talking to Wit and Biz the whole time.
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WWE 2K25 available now. All right, so speaking of the last eight teams that are still alive, what is the one player or team that isn't getting talked about that you either love watching them play or watch out for them because if they get the right things going, they could win the cup.

So I think obviously they're getting talked about a little bit more now after they beat the Bruins. But Matthew Kachuk, what he did for that team, putting that team on his shoulders, even from the end of the year on till now, what he's done for that team and for hockey down here has been amazing.
Sasha Barkov, who's probably one of the top five best players in the league.

He didn't have a great series last series um against boston but i could see if he had if he even plays to half of his ability and you never know he could be hurt something could be going on with him uh if he plays just a little bit better which i mean he brings he the best defensive players, amazing offensively. He was really good defensively, but if he comes in offensively and puts up some numbers like he can, they're going to be a scary team to play.
So about that Panthers-Bruins series, it felt like the Panthers, their forecheck was all over the place. Is forechecking similar to maybe not reboundingounding or like loose ball, but is it a lot of it is effort? Because it does feel game to game whether a team is like really putting in that effort.
And if it's working, it can completely change the complexity of a game because you put the pressure on them for the entire sheet of ice. Yeah, and a lot of it, it's probably like in football, like in the the trenches like on the line uh just kind of whether you can get momentum going forward or uh who's kind of winning that that line battle but a lot of the dump uh for checking it comes from a good dump and if you're dumping the pocket i know it sounds ridiculous to have a good dump or a bad dump but if you're dumping it in the goalie can come out and stop it and pass it over your d then you're getting out of the zone easy but if you can put it in areas where the the goalie can't get it and the d are struggling to get it um whether that's a hard rim high on the glass or a soft chip where you have pressure coming in on guys there's just so many variables because now you can't you can't hold up you can't have your defensive partner hold up so as a d when someone puts it back there you're it's they're coming full speed usually you're pivoting you're not really going as fast as you can uh so it's it's one verse one and they're coming full speed um never a fun thing breaking a puck out especially in in playoffs when when guys everybody's hitting everybody so i would say a lot of it comes with with good dumps and um and and not crumpling the toilet paper yeah i was gonna say it's very funny just like you gotta get a good dump yeah i would assume that guys just sit there and practice dumps and in practice right as sick as it sounds you actually do it's because the little things in whether it's – they always say chip it in, chip it out.
If you get the puck five feet inside your blue line and five feet inside their blue line, you're usually winning the game if you can have good execution at those areas. So, yeah, there's a lot of practices where you're trying to chip pucks in, where you're getting in on the forecheck because a lot of it's timing too whether if the left wing's standing still and he's holding onto it and chips it in he's got to wait for the center to get across to make sure he's full speed ahead getting in on the four check and uh so a lot goes into it that you don't just you're not just dumping it in just to dump it in you're dumping it in with a purpose yeah yeah uh it's interesting talking about defense because i i have to assume maybe i'm wrong because i didn't grow up playing hockey but when you grow up do you always when you're practicing when you're a kid you i feel like you would want to be you'd want to be playing offense right you'd want to be trying to score goals try to be a center at what point do you start to fall in love with defense or do you just get put at defense because you're good at other stuff? That's a good question.
I was actually – I was a goalie until I was 12. I would play – I'd play the first half goalie and then I'd change on the bench.
I'd have – my dad and the other coach would take my pads off and put my shin pads on and then I'd go out and play D the rest of the game. but I think as a D I always liked it because usually as a kid you have four D on a team in the NHL there's six so you're playing a little bit less but as as a kid there's usually four D so you're pretty much out there every other shift so I always enjoyed that part of just always being out there and and being on the ice and as a forward when there's three lines it, it can kind of, you know, when you're a kid, there's usually three lines.
So it kind of gets where you're sitting on the bench a little bit more. But, yeah, I don't know.
That's actually a really good question. I'd have to ask my brother that.
He's more into the kids hockey and positioning kids and getting them the best out of them. Because he's actually – he's switched a couple of my nephews.
They started out as forward, and then he switched them to D, which I think has helped because the way the game is now, D are so offensive, so it should help them out. They're actually called periods in hockey, not halves.
Just thought I'd educate you a little bit on that. It's kind of a finer point of the game.
Did I say half? Yeah. No, it's okay.
It happens to a lot of casuals. I said half half halfway through i think you said at half after the first it's okay it doesn't matter but just run the tape next time you're on a hockey podcast they're gonna eat you alive if you say that so just just a little tip um do you remember your first fight first fight in the nhl uh just in hockey um as kids we used to fight a lot as kids um in the i remember getting into a fight in the ahl there was a kid that scored he had long hair like yours and he just scored a nice goal and i was getting yelled at by my coach i'm like all right i'm gonna fight this guy off the face off you just scored a nice goal he's got to be a skilled player and i asked him at the face off and as i'm I'm dropping my gloves, I just hear everybody on our bench yelling, no.
And he got the best of me for sure. Yeah.
So that was my first NHL one. I'm not sure.
Maybe it might have been Cal Clutterbuck in Minnesota at the time. I remember fighting him when I was pretty young.
Yeah, that might have been my first one. Yeah.
All right keith thank you so much man this has been awesome we really appreciate it and we definitely got to have you back on again uh looks like you're living are you living in arizona florida oh florida look at you his business or his wit just trying to like stay at your house all the time to play golf he's he's came down he's came down a couple times this couple times this year for golf trips. Yeah, I don't let him shit in my house, though.
Biz spent a weekend with us a couple weeks ago, so he's a tree. He can't even – I got two kids, and he's, like, swearing at dinner.
I'm like, dude, if my kids are 12 and 10, you can't just be swearing in front of them you know what i mean talking about his butthole yeah uh all right well thanks so much man and we'll definitely have you back on yeah i would love that guys i appreciate it thanks for having me hi it's rigs from foreplay and you know what is back it's pga tour25. That's right, it's time to tee it up in iconic PGA Tour events.

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first look for free now on ps5 xbox series s and x and steam okay let's wrap up the show with a little guys on chicks henry hank hank hank are you ready for guys on chicks he's typing something he's probably saying yeah we gotta fire that guy uh yeah pack your bags sucker how would you if you fired us how would you fire us uh have you fired someone i wouldn't tell you and i would just tweet out a public statement so that was the first way you guys found out that'd be kind of sick'd rather have us just not be able to get it to like Schefter or like Shams. Oh, Schefter that would Schefter like being like Barstool Sports and Big Cat of parted ways would and that's how I read it.
I would leak it to Ravel if I fired you. Well, you can't fire Hank.
I know, but I said if I did fire him, I would leak it to Ravel. Yeah.
Hey, y'all. I overheard my husband talking to his brother about staying in hotels by himself.
My husband told him every time he goes on a business trip and his hotel room has two beds, he always jerks off onto the bed that he isn't going to sleep in and slightly messes up the sheets to see if the cleaning crew actually changes the bedding. My brother-in-law is dumbfounded, but my husband claims that it's normal guy behavior.
They're both AWLs, so I know they'll listen to this conversation, but I have to know if this is normal or if I'm married to a serial killer. It's hard to say what is and what isn't normal when it comes to hotel room behavior.
I think the standard, at least what I do, is I like getting the second bed to put my clothes on. That's where the suitcase lives, and then I take everything out and put it on the bed.
That becomes my cabinet. Big question.
Which one do you use as the shelf? First one closest to door? Furthest away. You use furthest away? I go furthest away.
I like to be furthest away so I can have a chance to fight any intruder. I like being closest to the door so that that also means that you're closest to the bathroom yeah um there's nothing better though than checking into a hotel and that first like 30 minutes where you're like this is awesome this hotel room rules crank the ac yeah and you're like yeah jerk off with the lotion and you're like this is fucking sick i've never been in a hotel like this is ever it's the same hotel every hotel and then if you have to stay multiple days by day two you're like get me out of here every hotel when you walk into it for the first time you take two steps and you go oh this is pretty nice yeah no i do like the real world when they would when they would do the house reveal yeah and everyone just runs from it like i'll run from the bathroom to just the room yep and then back to the bathroom be like wow i check i do a couple things every time i'm in a hotel one you got to crank the ac down drop it as low as it goes to locate the remote and if the remote has a sleep timer button on it that's all i need and i also like having an outlet that's close to the bed for my phone and and three for me i rip the sheets off i hate the i hate the like fully tucked in yeah when you get into bed and you're fully tucked in worse feeling so i'll just give them a quick rip yeah billy check if the waters are free which oh you don't have the water bottles yeah yeah yeah gotcha yeah you usually can tell because it's usually like poland springs free vos not yeah then they had yeah they have like some volcanic water that's imported from from Iceland that you have to pay five dollars for yeah okay good question so uh a consensus pick I say not weird I think when you're in a hotel you can jerk off wherever you want that's what you're paying for essentially as a guy if you get a hotel room on your own you're just getting a private masturbation station I also just realized that maybe this guy just jerks off onto the bed.
Like he just doesn't do, like he will clean up with like a pillow or something or the sheets or something. He just nuts onto the bed.
Yeah, and just gets up and walks away. That's weird.
But it's also a power move. And it's also fucked up for everyone else to stay in that bed.
Which, I mean, listen, when you stay in You just don't think about that. Yeah, you don't think about all the cum and the hair and all that stuff that you're sleeping yeah you're sleeping on a on basically the cover of metallica's load album that what that's what every hotel bed is like okay next question hey father of two cat william fraud ball oh pro football come in her oh our darling oh this guy this girl and totally definitely a.
And Hank, whatever he does for this podcast, I produce it. Hank presses record.
Produce it. And he also presses stop record.
Exactly. Fuck this person.
Yeah. I like her.
No, I don't like him. Definitely a guy.
I mean, definitely a girl. I've been seeing this guy since the turn of the new year, and we started dating March 12th.
Recently, he got so drunk he ended up cheating on me, but he seemed genuinely upset when we've spoken many times about the future we have together. Wait, wait, wait.
He got so drunk that he cheated on me. And what may have caused us to come up.
This guy is a master spin zone artist, by the way. If he's got you telling people that this is what happened.
This guy cheated on a girl. Right, and said, I got too drunk.
Recently, he got so drunk he ended up cheating on me, but he seemed genuinely upset. And we've spoken many times about the future we have together and what may have caused us to come up.
Well, he got drunk. I have to ask.
It's probably your fault. Is cheating black and white, or is it more complex than that? It's probably your fault for letting him get that drunk.
That's on you. Is cheating black and white? I would yes yeah i'd say definitely because you basically like there will just always be a moment in your cheating is watching porn cheating no thanks fucking mike pence uh there's a there's a moment in every relationship like if you if you cheat on your significant other that will always be there that will always just like you could you could say you moved on but there's no way you can move on.
It's in the back of your head. Also, if you start a relationship because you cheated on the person with that person, then it's going to be in the back of your head, wait, we got together because you cheated on somebody.
What if this is a little toxic? He was too drunk. This is toxic.
I mean, even. Oh, it just occurred to me, the guy from that first question in the hotel room, Jack, that's definitely Dan Orlovsky.
Yeah. That's 100% Dan.
It doesn't count if it's not the bed you sleep in. What if your girlfriend takes your Instagram and looks at what you've searched and it's like all of her friends? Is that cheating? That's being a dog.
Yeah, that's being a dude. What about liking other chicks' pets? Also not cheating.
It's not cheating, but it's also, but you're filing that away.

You're just, that you're adding, you're adding to a case of evidence that you're building.

And that might be one of the, one of the clues that maybe you need to dig into this further.

I think liking to, you know, tweets, Instagrams, that's just being a good participant in social media.

Agreed.

You have to do that.

Otherwise, what's the point of being on?

Yeah.

How else is your algorithm going to pop off? Right. Exactly.
How else is is miley gonna know that she looked great in that versace dress right my boyfriend and i have been dating for a little over two years i recently noticed that ever since we started dating he's always used the same toothbrush it looks very gross and the bristles are a mess i asked him why he doesn't just get a new one and he told me he's had this toothbrush for almost Nine years Since 2014 I told him this was absolutely disgusting He said he's never gotten this much mileage Out of a toothbrush before And it's too good to run to stop now It's on too good of a run Please tell me you agree that this is gross And that I'm correct in asking him to throw it away Do all guys cling on to toothbrushes For as long as they can? How often do you replace toothbrushes? Pretty much you go on a trip, bring your toothbrush, leave it at the hotel, and then get a new one. Yeah, exactly.
I mean, the biggest reason why guys get in relationships probably is just to have somebody around them to remind them to do things like, hey, it's time to change the toothbrush. You can't fight when they say it's time to change the toothbrush.
You say, yes, please, thank you for reminding me. I have two toothbrushes.
Like, you know, you can't fight when they say it's time to change the toothbrush you say yes please thank you for reminding me i have two toothbrushes i'm like you know something like you can't you can't roll out a starting pitcher every single day i'll just switch it up back and forth yeah and then and then when i want to switch i'll switch one out and then rotate and i'm always rocking two i would say nice i would say i changed my toothbrush probably once yeah if i lose it on a trip But let's just say hypothetically I don't lose any toothbrushes for an extended period of time. I'd say six months.
You guys don't have motorized toothbrushes? I've tried it. I don't like it because then you forget to plug it in.
It runs out of batteries at one point and then you just throw it away. Right.
I've done like four or five of them. Come on.
No, I swear to God. Not that hard.
No, I swear to God. Or I'll lose the charger.
What does that mean? No, I will get it. I have had motorized- It's like a universal charger.
Right, and then I'll just throw it out. No, but also in New York, you got a problem because you deal with a lot of pedestal stakes.
You guys are rich. You don't have a lot of space to keep your- Motorized toothbrushes.
This was before. I used to just rip through them.
I do that with razors, trimmers, too. I probably have, like, I probably ripped through, like, five different beard trimmers in the last, like, three years.
Just lose the charger. You know the disposable mechanized ones that have batteries? Yeah.
Yeah. That's what I use.
You just throw those out. I use those, and then it runs out of batteries.
Boom, throw it away. I have an electric one that I lost a charger for, so it's just a normal toothbrush now.
And I just never got a new. It's still an electric toothbrush, but it just doesn't move.
It's just a normal toothbrush. No, I had the same thing.
Yeah, of course. That's a guy thing.
As much as I'm giving you, there was a case that came with it that I thought was the charger. And I kept putting the case on.
I'm like, why isn't this charging? And then I asked my mom and she was like,

no,

there's a,

like you pop off this thing on the bottom and charge it.

Well,

you thought that the case,

the part that goes over the bristles,

the charger,

the charger,

how the fuck do you charge this case?

Like how the fuck do you charge?

No,

I listen.

I stand in solidarity with you.

Those things suck.

I thought it was like AirPods.

Like you charge,

like you put it in the case and then it charges. You have to be a real, like, you have to have your shit together to be an electric toothbrush person.
They're different people. They're so much more elite, though.
All right. Hey, lottery ball winners and Hank, fuck you.
My boyfriend and I broke up a few months ago. Good.
And he blocked me on every social media. So I decided to make a fake LinkedIn account of a high-level employee at a big company and have been messaging for the last couple weeks for a job at this company with a huge salary.
Should I tell him I have been fucking with him or set up a Zoom interview call and let him see it to me? Do the Zoom. Do the Zoom.
Do the Zoom reveal. This is some fucked up shit.
This girl's a psycho. Let me go.
You sound totally normal to me. You're catfishing your ex-boyfriend because he ended the relationship and didn't want to talk to you.
I hope that typing this out and making you think through the words that you have to describe the situation clued you in a little bit onto how crazy you're being right now. No chance.
We broke up. There's no explanation for the breakup.
but i can't imagine what that could be yeah yeah hey the zoom reveal though that rules that part will be awesome send it to us yeah actually he'll probably film it record it he'll probably fall back in love with you yeah you should do that yeah i'm sure i'll be pumped like hey i got this huge salary offer actually this would be a great way to try to get back together. Zoom reveal and you're just naked.

Yeah, Billy?

This is just disgusting stuff on TV right now.

Yeah, I don't know what movie this is. This is classic TNT where you leave it on the NBA games and then you wake up in the

morning and Charmed is on.

Is this Charmed?

Probably.

Every show is Charmed.

They just had some swastika go into this guy's heart.

Fucking glorious Charmed.

It's just gory.

Yeah, now he's back alive. What the fuck? Okay.
Hey, PMT. I'm a teacher out of high school, and we are celebrating Teacher Appreciation Week this week.
Part of that is playing a game every day called Lucky Duck. Every staff member gets to select a rubber ducky with a number on it.
I know where this is going. I won on the first day with my duck lucky number 17.
Congratulations. Good job.
I love that you read that. That's pretty easy.
It sounds like this game is. Hey, fellas, my long-term boyfriend and I just broke up under a month ago, and less than a week after we'd originally broken up, my friend found him on Tinder, meaning he had been active.
Am I crazy for finding this disrespectful? I know everyone moves on differently, but I feel like less than a week after a long-term relationship is extremely disrespectful to me. You don't get to make those rules.
Appreciate you. You get back on the horse.
You don't get to make those rules. If you're broken up, you're broken up.
If it was before, then yeah, you could be upset. But if you're broken up, you're broken up.

Yeah, like it's a little bit disrespectful, but it's also like you don't have anything doing to it.

It's not your option to be disrespected.

Right.

Yeah, that's the right move.

You get back on Tinder.

You get back in the game.

And you want to be the first.

Free agency starts at 12 a.m.

That's right.

Sounds like he's moving on well.

There's no legal tampering period.

Right.

It's cut and dry.

You should catfish him, though, on Tinder would rule all right last one yeah oh you always got to read ahead we as a company should always read ahead when we're reading on something all right uh third of the month here we go hey there guys so my boyfriend is a super kind and loving guy, and we have a fantastic relationship, except this one thing. He doesn't use any pet names for me, like Babe, Sweetie, et cetera.
But that isn't a big deal. However, he uses all those terms for his truck.
Even walking out in the morning and wishing his truck a good morning on the way to work. Is this a common thing, or should I just be jealous of a Tacoma? Yeah, this is a Morgan Wallen song.
Oh, of his Chevy, you mean? Yeah, of his Chevy. Of his Silverado.
Chevy, yeah. Yeah, dude, guys love trucks.
It does sound like a country song or at least a bumper sticker that a country song will eventually be named after. But just like, I wish he treated me like he treats his truck.
Boom, there you go. If you're a female country singer, boom, number one hit right there.
Yeah. You know, what you got to do is if you want to, if you want to get them to change it, you need to just start calling the truck by the pet names as well.
Cause then he will realize like if someone else says it, yeah, he'll have an out of body experience being like, what am I doing? Yeah. Or you need to get some sort of appliance or tool that you start having a sexual relationship with.
So you can toothbrush. Yeah.
Okay. What's up, sweetie? Let's get to work.
What'd that mouth do? Well, don't do the electric toothbrush because it won't work after like a month. That's true.
Not if you use Duracell batteries, big cat. That's true.
That's true. Okay.
Hank, you ever gotten this? Should we do our lucky duck of the day? What are you? Oh, nice. Nice, Jake.
Same color. Fire up the duck boat tank.
Nice. What's the same color? The balls and rubber ducks.
No. False.
No, that is false. That is absolutely false.
They're a little darker. No, no, no, no.
I'm the Panto master. They're two different colors.
Well, if you're the panto master, you failed. Yeah.
You're basically Liam. I'm on Jake's side.
Are we? Those are orangey yellow. Yellow is different than orange.
And those are orange. Those are just orange.
Those are orange. Jake is orange.
Ducks are yellow. I've seen dark orange.
Okay. It's still orange.
Look at the basketball. I've seen ping pong balls, the basketball color.
Wait, Jake. That's orange.
We're talking about ducks. Yeah, I know.
What color's a rubber duck? What color's a rubber duck? Yellow. Yes.
What color are those? Light orange. Yes.
Different colors. It's more of an orange yellow.
Those are different colors, right? Yes. It's not even close.
They're similar. I guess.
Every color is similar. It's all spectrum.
Colors are a spectrum. It's similar.
Good point, Hank. It's not even close.
They're similar. I guess.
Yeah. Every color is similar.

It's all spectrum.

Colors are a spectrum.

It's similar.

Yeah.

Good point, Hank.

It's like a hockey puck is similar to a baseball in a way.

It's like saying navy blue and black, but they're different colors.

They're different colors. That's much different than navy blue and black.

Yeah.

It's even more egregious.

All right.

That's orange.

So have you gotten the orange ducks before?

I don't know what the fuck those are. It's a common menu at a Chinese restaurant? Yeah.
No. All right.
You've never gotten a lottery ball? Nope. Okay.
Numbers. 17.
Oh, he's back. He's back.
18. He's back.
I lost a bet. That's why I do that.
99. Nice.
I'll go 26.

Never been hit before.

Max?

I'll go 76.

Oh, interesting.

I'll switch mine to 20 then.

I just saw 17 I just saw 76 Oh that is 86 86 So close 86 Not even close. Love you guys.
Really?

Tennis rackets used to be made with sheep intestines.

Nice.

Sort of violin strings.

What? I'm to say I say it anyway. Today's about a day to find you shining away.
I'll be coming for your love of truth. Take on me.
Take me on me. Thank you.
Let me stay as a little asshole Just to blame my worries away You're all the things I've got to remember You're shying away I'll be coming for you anyway For you anyway For you anyway Walking away Walking away I'll be gone.

In a day of change. Thank you.