Scott Van Pelt, Jon Rahm Wins The Masters, NBA Regular Season Ends + UFC

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Speaker 1 Terms apply.

Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, the Masters. We talk about a weekend of golf, John Rahm's incredible Sunday,

Speaker 1 Sad Brooks

Speaker 1 last round. We're going to get into all of it.
NBA seedings have finally happened.

Speaker 1 The regular season is officially over.

Speaker 1 Talk a little bit about that. Playing games coming up.
We had UFC.

Speaker 1 We had

Speaker 1 what else did we have? We had a ton of stuff. It was a crazy sports weekend.
Odell Beckham. Odell Beckham.
Yeah, that's it right there. So, Odell Beckham.

Speaker 1 Yeah, a bunch of guys in the NBA got in fights on the last Sunday of the regular season. So a lot of sports to get into.

Speaker 1 And we have our good friend, Scott Van Pelt, a tradition unlike any other Scott Van Pelt,

Speaker 1 zooming in from the airport after the Masters, right before he eats eats a big Texan cinnamon roll, yeah, big Texas toast, or whatever it's called. So,

Speaker 4 when cool, creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the whole is greater than the sum of its sauce. Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch sauce, only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 5 At participating, McDonald's.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the street, there is violence.

Speaker 1 And then a lot of

Speaker 1 work to be done.

Speaker 1 No place to hang out or washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can't name all of them.

Speaker 1 Oh no, we're gonna rock it down to Electric Avenue.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Electric. Part of my take.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take. Today is Monday, April 10th, and John Rahm is your Masters Champion.
Fuck. Whoa.

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 3 He took the Brooks loss pretty hard.

Speaker 1 That was too loud. Holy shit.
Was that too loud? That was way too loud. That scared me, dude.

Speaker 3 I thought Max was saying fuck because he forgot to record something.

Speaker 1 That was Jake. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That was Jake saying fuck. Oh, because he had to say it.

Speaker 3 That sounded like a max.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 I get scared the shit. Are we able to turn that down or are people going to shit themselves in the morning?

Speaker 3 That was our darling Jake. That was fulfilling a promise because

Speaker 3 Greene was rooting all in for John Rahm.

Speaker 1 Everything he's got.

Speaker 3 Everything he's got,

Speaker 3 which is a lot. And so our darling Jake, to combat that, said that he would say the F-bomb if John Rahm won.

Speaker 1 And John Rahm won. And John Rahm was fantastic.
He was exceptional. It's hard to root for a guy like that.
I did, again, I think it may, I might have to go to rehab or something.

Speaker 1 The Brian Winhorse LeBron tweet. I was just thinking every time he hit it off the T, and he is so strong because he is, it's like a shotgun goes off when he hits off the T.
He's so good. He's so good.

Speaker 1 When he's got a big boy.

Speaker 3 I would say that he's like, he becomes an assassin when he locks in.

Speaker 1 Well, oh, so I went and looked up some fun John Rahm stats because we obviously have known about him.

Speaker 1 He's won a major before. He's like, I don't know.
is he number two? I think he might be two behind Scotty Schiffer.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I think Scheffler's one. Rom's two, but Rom was playing.
He didn't play like his best golf leading in this tournament, but he was still only plus 900 towards it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's got the notebook in his back pocket that says Rombo, which just rules. Big ass.
Yeah, big ass.

Speaker 1 He's a huge dude.

Speaker 3 The dude has an ass that won't quit.

Speaker 1 So he has a mental coach. Yeah.
And his mental coach used to be a bomb disposal expert. Yep.

Speaker 1 That is the coolest thing you could ever do is find a mental coach and not be like, oh, this is my therapist.

Speaker 1 No, this is a guy who was basically Jeremy Renner in Hurt Locker, and he tells you how to be calm when you're coming up, you know, the back nine at the masters trying to

Speaker 1 put the green jacket on once and for all.

Speaker 3 Joseba Del Carmen is the dude's name.

Speaker 3 And so apparently when they started working together, Rahm wanted to fix his temper because he has all these outbursts or used to have these outbursts on the course.

Speaker 3 And the bomb disposal guy was like, let's just not talk about golf.

Speaker 1 Let's just talk about your normal temper and then hopefully that will carry over onto the golf course that's genius though having having like a bomb disposal that's probably the best person in the world to talk to about remaining calm yes it would i mean he's john rahm is a guy that everyone should want to root for because he seems like a very cool guy calm guy because of the bomb disposal guy also fun fact about john rahm his swing is the shortest in on the pga tour because he was born with uh a disfigured foot and one of his legs is shorter than the other that's interesting so he doesn't have ankle strength.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And he shortened his swing for it.

Speaker 3 Does that give him like a better approach?

Speaker 1 I don't know, but I feel like this is now going to be a fad where, you know, the Hanks of the world start like, you know, shortening one of their legs to get the John Rahm swing.

Speaker 3 And Tiger almost did that unintentionally.

Speaker 1 Well, should we talk about Tiger real quick? Because I.

Speaker 3 Well, let's let's let's give John Rahm his flowers.

Speaker 1 John Rahm deserves all the flowers. He was phenomenal.
He shot.

Speaker 3 He's the second best golfer in the history of Arizona State. He's Phil Mickelson.
Yes.

Speaker 1 So Tim Mickelson, his brother was John Rahm's coach, college coach, and and first agent.

Speaker 3 Another fun fact about John Rahm, you know how he learned how to speak English?

Speaker 1 He said he dispelled this a little, but yes.

Speaker 3 By listening to Eminem. Yeah.
By learning Eminem songs. So that probably led to him having to get somebody who's like a bomb disposal technician to teach him how to keep his temper quiet.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 I read an article that was basically like, John Rahm, the media ran with it after his first win in like 2017. He's like, well, not really.
That's not really how I did it, but I'd listened to some.

Speaker 1 No, the other part was Tim Mickelson, Phil's brother, coach, used to make John Rahm and one of the other teammates who both were Spanish-speaking do 10 burpees every time they said a word in Spanish, which

Speaker 1 seems like the athletic's going to write a takedown piece on that retroactively. Yeah, but it works.
Just beat it out of him. Yeah, right.
So, yeah, John Rahm, phenomenal, phenomenal Sunday.

Speaker 3 It was his dad's birthday.

Speaker 3 His dad passed away, I think, but it was his dad's birthday today.

Speaker 3 And there are certain things that

Speaker 3 we should be informed informed of before tournaments start so that we can figure out who's going to be the team of destiny or the golfer of destiny.

Speaker 3 Knowing that it was going to be his father's birthday on Sunday, I would have liked to known that. Also, I would have liked to know the fact that his caddy got that number.
I think he was number 49.

Speaker 3 It's 4'9 today. Yep.

Speaker 3 That's another fun fact that Jim Nance brought up several times, how that ties in with his dad. And also, he just had a kid.
So he's got two kids now.

Speaker 3 One of which is less than a year old. Another thing I would have liked to have known about before I decided who to bet on, because it's always a golfer with an infant that wins at the Masters.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes. And it also is the 40-year anniversary of Seve Balesteros winning the Masters.

Speaker 3 Would have liked to know that.

Speaker 1 Fellow Spaniards, Spain, kind of a dynasty in Masters now. I think they have six.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Norse Masters.

Speaker 1 They are running roughshod on everyone else. Agatha.
Agatha.

Speaker 1 But yeah, Jon Rahm was phenomenal. 30 holes because of the weather on Sunday.
And he was just like unflappable because obviously we'll get to the part where we were rooting for Brooks.

Speaker 1 We bet on Brooks. We also wanted Brooks to win because he's a friend.
And Jon Rahm just gave him no... Like, Brooks played bad.
Brooks choked a lot of... I don't want...

Speaker 1 I'm going to say Patrick Cantley really choked because Patrick Cantley played slower than anyone's ever played in the entire history of golf. And Brooks is a tempo guy.
He's a tempo guy.

Speaker 1 There was actually a moment where Victor Hovland was already walking up the fairway because he's like, I can't wait for Patrick Cantley anymore. He was playing with Patrick Cantley.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Pretty sure you're not supposed to do that.

Speaker 1 So, Brooks, tough Sunday. Everyone will make the joke, the live joke, 54 holes.

Speaker 1 Liv actually had a great showing because they think that what they have tied, they had Phil and Brooks tied for second.

Speaker 1 Patrick Reed was top five. You made a little run.

Speaker 3 Is there someone else who was top five from Liv?

Speaker 1 I believe so. Either way,

Speaker 1 the Liv showed out. The Liv showed out, but Brooks,

Speaker 1 so some may call it a choke. Others, like us, will say there was a divine intervention at play.
I alluded to this on Twitter, but we had maybe the greatest jinx of all time by someone in this room.

Speaker 3 Well, yeah, there was that.

Speaker 1 Does someone want to fess up? Because people, when I tweeted, one of the greatest jinxes of all time happened on the PMT group chat on Saturday.

Speaker 1 Most of the replies were saying, it's Max, or it was Billy, or God damn it, Jake, why would you say that?

Speaker 1 Who would like to stand up and put their hand up as the person who you know what, Big Cat?

Speaker 3 I'd like to be the bigger man in this situation and say that I played a part in it. Okay, no, you didn't.

Speaker 1 I played a part in it. No, no, who did it?

Speaker 3 I'd like to just take some responsibility for it,

Speaker 1 and then we'll see if anybody takes it. No, no, no, no, yeah, yeah.
Hey, go ahead. Go ahead.
Who did it? No, good point, Hank. All right, I'll just read the text.

Speaker 1 This is on Saturday after they suspended play for the day. I just hope I get a second to

Speaker 1 explain myself. This is the dirt.

Speaker 3 Are you admitting it was you? Oh, for those of you who...

Speaker 1 You're the person. Yeah.

Speaker 3 If you've just started to listen to part of my take in the last two weeks and you might not recognize that voice, that's Hank Lockwood back from his vacation.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Someone hurt both of you on vacations when we were kids, and I'm going to get to the bottom of it because I feel bad. There's something that scars you guys just when the V-word comes up.

Speaker 1 No, we just got to keep the lights on here. We're just grinding.
I was gone too. I don't know why all the attention is.
We're green grinders. Well, you were celebrating Passover, too.

Speaker 1 It was religious observing. I'll say this.
If you had jinxed Brooks the way Hank did, I'd be equally as mad at you for your vacation. This is dramatic.

Speaker 1 Dramatic?

Speaker 3 You said traumatic. Tramatic.

Speaker 1 It was traumatic. It is traumatic.
Your brain wasn't on again. You showed up and you hadn't turned your brain back on.

Speaker 1 You were in sleep mode. Hank texted this after this play was suspended on Saturday.
Brooks had a four-stroke lead. He said, the question is, would Brooks come on on Sunday?

Speaker 1 Or would it be more likely he come on Tuesday if it gets delayed and they have to finish Monday? Pretty presumptuous of you. Pretty presumptuous of you.
You basically had already. You crowned him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, he had tailored his green jacket. He was like, well, this is set.
Perfect. We got our guest Monday.

Speaker 3 Brooks is on. Hank was like, do you think all the other live golfers that greeted Brooks on the 18th green to celebrate his green jacket, you think they'd all want to come on?

Speaker 1 Hmm.

Speaker 1 Thoughts?

Speaker 1 I think it's dramatic. Listen, I made a mistake.
I was probably thinking a little bit too far ahead of myself. You think? But one, we were talking about merch.

Speaker 1 So we were planning shirts for if you won. Shirts, I understand.
My head, no. Shirts, I understand.
So it's understandable, but I'm just, if, again, if you let me

Speaker 1 speak without interruption, it'd be nice. But don't, don't, don't, don't confuse the listeners with shirts because merchandise

Speaker 1 of the business. We have to have a shirt myself.

Speaker 3 We have to have a shirt ready to go if Brooks had won because we can't come up with a shirt in five seconds.

Speaker 1 No, you have to all have to do shirts before. You are proving my point.
But don't muddy the waters. I'm shirts.
I'm explaining myself. Keep them separate.
No, it's the same.

Speaker 1 Because they were, we were, I was going through the process of thinking of shirts, thinking of ideas of if he won. So I was thinking of him winning.
So, yes, that was the headset mind space I was in.

Speaker 1 And then I did. I was like, oh, yeah, because we, in that conversation, it was like, these are, you know, the different options for if you win.
So I was like, oh, he's going to win.

Speaker 1 And I was like, oh, I wonder when he would come on. The rain stops.
I was like, he probably wouldn't come on Sunday because the Masters is a lot coming on.

Speaker 1 If you were talking, no, no, you said, do you think he'd want to come on on Sunday?

Speaker 1 All right, just forget it. All right, fine.
I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry. I fucked up.
I'm the reason Brooks blew it like four. He had a bad Sunday.

Speaker 1 It's all my fault.

Speaker 1 Sorry you lost your bed, big cat. No, no, no.
I'm so happy to be back.

Speaker 1 Excuse me, Hank.

Speaker 3 I'm also in this room. Oh, sorry.

Speaker 1 No, keep going.

Speaker 3 That doesn't sound like you're sorry.

Speaker 1 You're just correcting things that you're deliberately getting wrong because it wasn't, you weren't saying, oh, he might come. Like, we got to see.
I was explaining my headspace.

Speaker 1 I wasn't saying what I said. No, it's fine.

Speaker 1 No, I fucked up. I'm sorry.
No, no, keep going. I thought Brooks was going going to win.
I made a mistake. I sent a wrong text message.
Jinx the whole thing.

Speaker 3 It's all my fault. What about the fact that you also don't believe weather's real? And then weather reared its ugly head on Saturday.

Speaker 1 Colfers are pussies. They should have just played through.
Well, I agree with that.

Speaker 3 I think that big weather had to be a little bit more.

Speaker 1 If it were fake trees, it wouldn't have been a problem.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so here's the thing: is big weather wanted, where, might you ask Brian Windhorse face, where is the weather channel located? Huh. It's right outside Augusta.
Huh.

Speaker 3 Do you think that maybe they wanted more ratings on the weather channel? Oh, what what would do that? Maybe a big storm coming through Augusta, potentially suspending play.

Speaker 3 Just something to think about.

Speaker 6 I think the trees are rigged to fall.

Speaker 1 Ooh.

Speaker 7 Control demolition.

Speaker 1 Hank, I am that one guy who, like, I know that you could, I guess, die, but, like, dude, you could sue them forever. I'd basically be like, I'm in the tournament every year.

Speaker 1 That's my those are my offerings. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 No, as far as hitting the jackpot goes in terms of lawsuits, having a tree hit you at Augusta, that's the dream. Yes.

Speaker 1 Hank, I accept your apology, and I also would like to say,

Speaker 1 if Brooks had played well on Sunday and lost by a stroke, I would have put all the blame on you. He didn't.
He did not play well.

Speaker 1 That's the matter of the fact here. Like, he didn't play well.
So it can't be, it can't, a text can't have caused what happened.

Speaker 1 Okay. But you did have a part.

Speaker 1 An apology. A small part.
Yep.

Speaker 3 Everything turned.

Speaker 1 Everything turned. Everything turned for Brooks.
Literally from that moment on.

Speaker 3 Now, shout out Brooks, though. He did play.
He played really well Thursday, Friday, and Saturday before Hank texted us.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's true.
He was awesome. I mean, he was on the lot.
We were designing shirts. Yeah, we were designing shirts.
We were ready to crash. That's what we have to do.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Trying to make money for the company here.

Speaker 1 But yeah, Brooks. Brooks did not play well down the stretch.
That sucked. We wanted him to win.

Speaker 1 It would have been cool, especially like just the idea of Brooks not playing in the PGA tour, but just showing up and like ripping off one or two majors a year would be awesome.

Speaker 3 Yeah, in fact, if he had won this and then you know, he seems like he's back, like Brooks is back to playing old-school Brooks golf until Sunday has as long as Hank doesn't say any more tests.

Speaker 3 Hank keeps his name out of his lips.

Speaker 3 It would be very funny to have Brooks making $100 million to play in tournaments he doesn't give a shit about and then showing up and still dominating the rest of like the PGA when it came to the majors.

Speaker 3 But he played well for the most part before the weather delay. And then the course just didn't agree with his game.
He was also fucking up his T-shots.

Speaker 3 His first T-shot in his last round today, that's when it was over.

Speaker 3 When he found himself hitting out of the wrong fairway on the first hole, that's my move, Brooks. I'm an expert at doing that.
I hit 70% of my second shots out of the wrong fairway.

Speaker 1 You went up the other fairway, and then you got a perfect spot.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Rom did that on the last.

Speaker 3 I've never seen a player take a provisional on the 18th hole of the master. I didn't think that that was a thing that you could do.
Yeah. But yeah, he just said, yeah, I'll take a provisional.

Speaker 3 And then he played a second one out of the fairway.

Speaker 1 But then he found his original one.

Speaker 3 No, he played a second one out of the other fairway.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. The wrong fairway.
Yeah, and then he found his original ball.

Speaker 3 No, that's the shot that he hit. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah.
And then he just picked up his provisional. Got it.
Jordan Speeth.

Speaker 3 Shout out Jordan Speeth, because he's quickly becoming like the Jameis Winston of the PGA Tour. He had 21 birdies, which is the most in the field, 10 bogeys, and two doubles.

Speaker 3 So he was just like all over the map.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 At one point, he was like hitting out of a tree. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He had a scintillating round four, 66. Like a lot of guys actually, like, it was incredible.
66 and he lost his match. Yeah.
And John Rahm, like, credit to John Rahm.

Speaker 1 He, because any other, like, if you look at how some of these guys played on Sunday, it could have very well been a playoff situation with some of these guys. Like, Phil played incredible.

Speaker 1 Yes, Phil shot a 65 on Sunday.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Phil was locked in. Phil, on Saturday, when he came out rocking the all-black with the black gloves looking like a hitman, I knew that he was about to do something special.

Speaker 1 Also, shout out Siwu Kim for wearing the shirt that just said PGA Tor all over it in like different fonts. And he was playing with Phil on Saturday.

Speaker 3 Yeah, and to Patrick Reed for wearing his

Speaker 3 other jersey. He was wearing the Aces jersey.

Speaker 1 Yes, yeah.

Speaker 3 He was wearing a pink aces shirt and then a black aces hat.

Speaker 1 The rivalry, I...

Speaker 3 I would have just loved to see a live player win the Masters just for the chaos that would have happened afterwards.

Speaker 1 It was still a a great tournament. Just, I mean, it was weird because the weather.
Saturday afternoon, having that, like, your plans kind of ruined,

Speaker 1 that sucked. But having 30 holes on Sunday to watch, and I wish it was a little tighter.

Speaker 1 I wish we had had a little more, like, Brooks had stepped up a little more and it been back and forth because it did feel as soon as John Rahm took the lead. It was like, he's not giving us.

Speaker 3 They were out to get Brooks because what better way to stop a player who doesn't really like to play golf than to make them play 30 holes of golf in one day? Behind Patrick Cantlin.

Speaker 3 And behind Patrick. We're like, Patrick can't play fast.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 There we go. That guy's sick.
That guy's sick. Did he say that? No, I'm sure he did.
Yeah, he said it to himself.

Speaker 3 I'm sure Rick Riley will come out with that. Put a clock on it.
Within 30 hours, Rick Riley will say Patrick can't play.

Speaker 1 It was bad, though. It was bad.

Speaker 1 I think the quote, Brooks was asked afterwards, because you can just tell he was so pissed. He said,

Speaker 1 the group in front of us was brutally slow. John went to the bathroom seven times today, and we were still waiting.
So, yeah.

Speaker 1 So, John Rahm just. John Rom pissed off.

Speaker 1 Well, no, I think what John Rahm did, which is very relatable, is like when you're when your food's taking forever and you're like, I'm just gonna go to the bathroom and hope my food's here when I get back.

Speaker 1 Yeah. He just kept on going to the bathroom, didn't have to go, but was like, well, when I get back, we'll be ready to play.

Speaker 3 Also, that guy who takes like the really, really quick piss break when you're out on the course, respect to that guy. I think that was Max with us.

Speaker 3 I think Max Max might have put his dick out and taken a leak on the course on the first T-box.

Speaker 1 What are you talking about? Did we play? Not homo. No, no, no, but did we play? Was there a video of it?

Speaker 3 Oh, no, not of that one.

Speaker 1 Oh, not of that one. All right.
There will be, though.

Speaker 3 Well, he did have the camera out there.

Speaker 1 That's true. Also, I went to take a piss at a tree, and Jake was like, whoa, you're too close and wouldn't play swords with me.
And then, like, tucked his dick in and walked away.

Speaker 1 All right, dude. But, yeah, go ahead.

Speaker 3 Unexpected shout-out to the birds, to the Eagles. In John Rahm's green jacket ceremony, he said that Zach Ertz texted him before the first hole hole and said, like, this green's looking wide open.

Speaker 3 First hole is looking wide open. So he goes out there and he double eagles it out of massive respect for the birds.

Speaker 1 And that

Speaker 1 right there tells you that the bomb

Speaker 3 double bogeys it.

Speaker 1 Double bogeys. That

Speaker 1 bomb detector is doing a great job because anyone else, and really just I'm saying anyone who's not a professional golfer, which this isn't rocket science, but if you double bogey your first hole, it's over for the rest of the week.

Speaker 3 Yeah, at that point, you're like, I'm going to get drunk.

Speaker 1 Yeah, even if I get close, I'll be thinking about the double bogey at the first. Yeah, so John Rahm, phenomenal.
I've loved John Rahm since I first set eyes on him.

Speaker 1 And when I first set eyes on him was 2018 when we went to the U.S. Open.

Speaker 1 I think he might have been staying like near where we were staying. And I saw him in the tiniest Porsche ever.
And he does not fit in a Porsche.

Speaker 1 And I was like, I respect this guy because he basically was like, when I make it, I'm going to buy a Porsche. Even though those aren't made for guys my size.
Yeah. He's just squeezed in.

Speaker 1 He looks so uncomfortable in the Porsche.

Speaker 3 Him in a Porsche is like him in that tiny hat that he has. Yeah.
And it's not really a tiny hat. He's just got a massive head.
He's a huge dude. Just big head, big guy.

Speaker 3 He's more of a host than Scotty Scheffler is.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, he's country strong.

Speaker 3 He's yeah. Yeah, no, he is.
Which country?

Speaker 1 Whatever country you want.

Speaker 3 The Basque region.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he is definitely country strong. He's got a little Adam Dunn to him.
Yep.

Speaker 3 Big donkey. Yeah.
Elburo. They should call him Elburo.

Speaker 1 He does.

Speaker 3 That's a good nickname for the donkey.

Speaker 1 He's got that frame where you're just like, again,

Speaker 1 if you close your eyes when he's hitting off the tee, it's like a shotgun bust. Yeah.
No, it's an incredible job. John Rahm,

Speaker 3 once Brooks hit that opening T-shot of his last round into the wrong fairway, you just knew that John Rahm, he's not a guy that's going to fuck it up.

Speaker 1 No, Brooks didn't play well. And I know there's a lot of people who are rooting against Brooks.
They had a fantastic Sunday. Yep.
Because if you don't like Brooks,

Speaker 1 and I'm not going to sit here and try to change your opinion, watching him like slowly let the lead leak and then just have John Rahm completely strangle hold on it, that must have been very fun.

Speaker 1 Yeah. He must have had a great fucking time because Brooks didn't play well.
And it sucked. That's the part that sucks the most.

Speaker 1 If John Rahm went out and shot like a 64 and Brooks did well, you'd be like, okay, well, John Rahm was just phenomenal. It did feel like Brooks left a few out there.
It's like, fuck.

Speaker 1 He needed one bounce

Speaker 1 to kind of get the momentum going. And it felt like the momentum just never started going his way.

Speaker 3 There are like five different greens that he hit and his shot lands and you're like, oh, that's a good shot by Brooks. And then those fucking undulations

Speaker 3 at Augusta. I know.
And shout out to Jim Nance, by the way, because Jim Nance, he has been going to this tournament for what feels like 300 years and watching it.

Speaker 3 The second a ball lands, Jim Nance will be like, oh, that's going to be bad. Even if it lands like five feet from the pen, and then slowly but surely the ball rolls back.

Speaker 3 They pull a hank and it goes in the fairway.

Speaker 1 Did you see Jim Nance had like the perfect delivery of a live joke? Oh, yeah. He crushed it.
Brooks hit one and it went in the crosswalk.

Speaker 1 And he's like, there's Brooks Kepka on the cw the crosswalk and i was like damn jim you still got it bro that's as close as jim dance will ever get to nuking you yeah

Speaker 3 but that was that was a nuke bomb it was a nuke bomb um there was a little bit of uh of bittersweet revenge that hank did have against our friend max homa because max homa in in the now infamous viral clip where where hank chipped up and then had the ball roll back to his feet and pga tour 2k 23 like five times in a row and and max was like yeah i showed this to all the boys on tour we call it a hank Now, he actually had a Hank.

Speaker 3 I maybe even on the same hole, Hank.

Speaker 1 Did you see that? It was on the same hole. And listen, he's the one that called it a Hank.
He exacted revenge on himself. He cursed himself.

Speaker 1 I didn't say that.

Speaker 1 I had a bad PGA tour clip. It's a real shame that he was, you know, making fun of me by calling it a Hank.
And then the same thing happened to him. I noticed that.
I wish it didn't happen.

Speaker 3 I noticed you deleted your tweet.

Speaker 1 Well, I wrote the wrong. I wrote the wrong.
I meant to write bite. I wrote cut.
Yeah. So that was just that was just like

Speaker 1 vacation tweets don't matter. Oh,

Speaker 1 You could edit that with Twitter Blue. Yes.
Oh, fuck.

Speaker 1 Oh, did you see the stats, by the way, behind it? When did you buy Twitter Blue? Was it after the April 1st?

Speaker 8 No, it was like the day before they threatened to take it off.

Speaker 1 Because they did the stats, and there was like 73 people bought it after the deadline. Yeah.
Like, of all of the blue checkboards. I was like, God damn it.
I hope that's Jake.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Max, shout out to AWL who yelled out that's a spicy meatball.
Yeah. You're welcome to come watch The Masters with us now that you've been kicked out of of Augusta forever.

Speaker 3 I do like saying that's a spicy meatball.

Speaker 1 Maybe the umbrellas might have helped. Yeah,

Speaker 1 harder to find. Harder to find.
But

Speaker 1 let's not talk about Max because he didn't play well. And I don't.

Speaker 1 Max needs to finish like top 10 for me to make fun of him. Like, it just didn't go his way in a bad way.

Speaker 3 Spin zone, he didn't have his A game. He didn't have his best stuff.
Or is B. And he made the cut

Speaker 3 at Augusta. Or is D.
Even though he wasn't playing very well. That's hard to do.

Speaker 1 His F-plus game.

Speaker 3 Tiger made the cut. His best finish at the match.

Speaker 1 Now people are open

Speaker 1 about Tiger Woods. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Hold on, hold on. It was

Speaker 1 progress. Hold on.

Speaker 1 What did he finish? What did he finish?

Speaker 8 Todd for 43rd.

Speaker 1 That was his best. 2045.
I'm not going to make fun of Max. I don't want to do this.
2020 cut, 2021 cut.

Speaker 8 2022, Todd for 48th. 2023, Todd for 43rd.
He's.

Speaker 1 Okay, so like in 2055, we're going to get to the top five. Yeah.
Okay. All right.

Speaker 8 Yeah. He's going to win soon.

Speaker 1 You got this, Max. Yeah.
Tiger.

Speaker 3 Tiger made the cut, and then people got pissed off at him because he withdrew. Many people are saying Tiger shouldn't be playing in the Masters anymore.

Speaker 3 But if you make the cut in the Masters, you should be playing.

Speaker 3 A lot of people are pissed off about him. They're saying that he's ruining his legacy

Speaker 3 by taking his spot in the third and fourth round from players that could have made the cut if he weren't there, that would have actually finished the tournament. To them, I say, Hardy, fuck you.

Speaker 3 You've got a big dump in your pants if you don't want to see Tiger Woods playing in the Masters. So

Speaker 1 I wouldn't wouldn't say this, but some people online would say this. Cynics, let's call them.
That Tiger's injury did seem to come on like a wave as soon as he started playing bad.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't say that.

Speaker 3 I would also not say that.

Speaker 1 But it's also. Because I'm a huge Charlie Woods guy.
Yeah. So I would not say that.
But I read that and I was like, hmm, something to think about. Maybe I'll bring it up on the show.

Speaker 3 Well, you know, Tiger, he hates bogies so much. That's like, he absolutely can't stand bogies.

Speaker 3 He would love to to finish around if it was just like straight pars and shoot even par. There was that old story when he played the best tournament maybe of all time in the U.S.

Speaker 3 Open at Pebble Beach where he beat the field by like a record amount. He had, I think, the lowest four-day total in the history of a major championship.

Speaker 3 And on the 18th hole, on the last day, he scrambled to make his bogey, or excuse me, to make his par instead of hitting a bogey.

Speaker 3 And he celebrated and everybody was like, look how happy he is to win the U.S. Open.
And he was like, no, I mean, I knew that I was going to win the U.S. Open.

Speaker 3 I was just trying not to make a bogey because I can't fucking stand bogies. Yeah.

Speaker 3 So, if you can't, if you hate bogeys and you're out there and you're playing like shit in the third round, it's probably like a little bit mental that you're like, oh, yeah, my body does.

Speaker 3 And my leg hurts. That must be why I'm making these bogeys.
So I'm out.

Speaker 1 I just love.

Speaker 1 It's really only Tiger. There's not many.

Speaker 1 I guess there's a bunch of like sappy people and golf writers and everything online.

Speaker 1 But Tiger elicits something out of these writers that you just don't really see with anyone else where they just get so serious and like romanticize everything.

Speaker 1 This one was, I screenshot it because I laughed out loud when I saw it. This is from Ryan Burr, who I think covers golf.

Speaker 1 He said, the ultimate warrior, the national, notice he didn't say the Augusta national. He said, the national is a tough walk for anyone.
Throw in the wet and cold.

Speaker 1 I was hoping the cut would stay at plus two. Not because I didn't want Tiger Woods to make the cut,

Speaker 1 but because the pain it would cause if he had to play on.

Speaker 1 This guy. Just chill out, dude.
Like, Tiger's going to be fine. Yeah, he's going to keep playing the Masters.
He might win another one. He's going to play his select tournaments every year.

Speaker 3 I don't think Tiger is going to win another Masters.

Speaker 1 And we all said that before 2019, too.

Speaker 1 I will.

Speaker 3 You know what?

Speaker 1 I'll drive my car into a ravine on purpose.

Speaker 3 Okay. If Tiger Woods wins another Masters.

Speaker 1 Listen, I would not. He's the one guy I wouldn't count out for anything just because

Speaker 1 he's Tiger Tiger Woods.

Speaker 1 Obviously, the odds are against him, severely against him. But again, before 2019, everyone thought he wasn't going to win another Masters.
Yeah,

Speaker 3 I feel like

Speaker 3 that was the end of the line for him. Where that was the one where it's like, oh, holy shit, Tiger did it.

Speaker 1 But before that, people were like, no, there's no chance.

Speaker 3 Yeah. I'm going to go ahead and say there's no chance that Tiger wins another Masters.

Speaker 1 I will be a Tiger believer.

Speaker 3 I mean, I'm going to root for him, even if it means I have to drive into a wall.

Speaker 1 It sounds like you're not.

Speaker 3 No, I'll take that for the team. Listen, if it means that Tiger wins another Masters, I will drive off a cliff.

Speaker 1 Hank, we when you got up to take a john romp

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 1 we were saying that some people online were saying that tiger started getting more injured as his play got bad we wouldn't say that did you see anyone saying that

Speaker 1 i did not oh okay good all right good so you you you don't have any haters on your on your timeline or anyone talking about it that way yeah i mean it was it was slippery out there. It's wet.

Speaker 1 It's hard to walk. Right, right.
He's got a bad back. Yeah.
He was walking, and then all of of a sudden, he wasn't walking.

Speaker 1 I mean, the clip of him

Speaker 1 trying to get the ball out of the hole was tough. The climb of him just walking down the hill was tough.
I didn't say this. I'm saying some other people were saying.

Speaker 3 Even in the first and second rounds when he was hitting shots, he would pick his leg up after. I think he was hurt the entire time.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I would never say that. He got more hurt, though, as it went on.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's a lot of walking. It's a lot of walking.
I mean, do you want me to read the tweet again? Ultimate Warrior.

Speaker 3 How long do you think it would take you, Big Cat, to play 18 holes at Augusta if you had to walk and also count count every single shot that you were hitting i i thought to myself probably about 13 hours because think about how fucked up those greens are a long time i i was throwing i was thinking about this hypothetical do you think you we should try and join augusta i was thinking about that we should i would i would do it why haven't we just applied i don't know that's what i kind of popped it in my mind okay nice all right let's apply hit him up let's apply i had the thought why doesn't everybody just play augusta all the time and get really really good for the masters and it turns out it's super private and you can't get yeah i was like i was like foil

Speaker 6 Why don't they just play it a thousand times to get really good at it for the Masters? Like, turns out you can't.

Speaker 3 It's a good strategy, though, that you had. Do you think that's that's why Freddie Couples is in contention, it seems like every year in the first two rounds.

Speaker 3 Freddie Couples, by the way, the ultimate flex playing with a crew neck sweatshirt and a yellow golf and the day glow yellow golf ball, which is such an old man thing to do.

Speaker 3 But Freddie Couples, I feel like everyone's always surprised in major tournaments when on the first day, Freddie Couples is like, he shoots like minus one.

Speaker 1 He doesn't even have Augusta every year. He's like, what the heck?

Speaker 3 It's because the man has played Augusta for 40 years

Speaker 3 and knows every single hill.

Speaker 1 Oldest guy to make the cut. Shout out Freddie Couples.
Absolute legend.

Speaker 1 I was going to throw out this hypothetical. If you had a superpower that the minute your ball gets on the green, every putt you ever make will go in.
So you could be 100 yards away or 100 feet away.

Speaker 1 It goes in no matter what. Do you think you could get your golf game good enough to make the cut at Augusta?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I would pull my trick of just hitting. I would just go putter.
All putter.

Speaker 1 No, no, you can't. No, no, it's only on the green.
Yeah, no, I would putt.

Speaker 3 I would putt down the down the fairway again.

Speaker 1 I don't think that would make the cut.

Speaker 1 That would not make the cut. I better.
It's a very long golf course. There's no way that would make the cut.

Speaker 3 You see all those balls in the corner.

Speaker 1 There's no way that would make the cut. What are you talking about? Just putt.
There's no way that would make the cut.

Speaker 3 No, I would not.

Speaker 1 Hank, you think you could? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just got to get out there, grind. Yeah, you got to get out there and just work on it.

Speaker 1 How sick would that be if you had that in your bag where you're like, the minute I get on the green, it's in.

Speaker 1 And just everyone's like, holy shit, he's the best putter of all time. And why does he keep slicing his drive? Like, he's never played before.

Speaker 1 It would be fun. What are you going to say, Jake?

Speaker 8 You cannot apply for membership. It's by invitation only.
Membership slots open primarily when a member dies.

Speaker 1 So we got to kill some people here. We need to kill all these guys.
All right.

Speaker 8 I have a list of people.

Speaker 1 People we need to kill.

Speaker 1 Say their names out. No, no, no.
Then we could actually be like, they'd be like, oh, they said their names. They're going to kill them.

Speaker 3 We'll just see. We're not going to kill kill anybody totally.
No. But, Jake, who are some of the people that are members there? Condoleezza Rice?

Speaker 1 I know she's there. Yeah.
Jack and Klaus. Uh-huh.
Jack and Klaus.

Speaker 8 He started off. I forgot to shot him out on Thursday, Friday's show, but he started off the tournament really well.

Speaker 3 Right down the middle.

Speaker 1 They should show the Shaw Tracers on those. He should also play.
If I was, like, that's what I love about Fred.

Speaker 1 If Fred Couples made the cut. He made the cut.
But I'm saying, like, if I, I think Sandy Lyle, like, played his last masters. Why would you ever?

Speaker 1 I know that there's a rule that, like, if you can't be competitive, you shouldn't be playing. Fuck that rule.
If I want a green jacket, I'm playing for the rest of my life.

Speaker 3 Also, they should let Tigers should get to use a golf cart.

Speaker 1 Wait, we have a plug. What?

Speaker 9 Pete Coors.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. Let's go.
Invite us. So we're open to an invitation.
If anyone would like to invite us, we are down to be invited to become members of Augusta.

Speaker 3 How fast do you think we get kicked out of Augusta?

Speaker 1 I was going to say, how fast do you think the Masters would lose all of its allure? Yeah, I think we... Instantly.

Speaker 3 There's an unspoken negotiation that we have with the Masters where it's like, just you know that you shouldn't show up and we won't try to show up. Yeah,

Speaker 1 the people were pissed about not being able to watch Brooks on Saturday.

Speaker 1 It's just the ultimate flex by the Masters is that they do, I think this was the 68th year, they do a one-year contract every year with CBS so they can just pull it at any moment.

Speaker 3 Yeah, well, did you know that

Speaker 3 I'll have you guess.

Speaker 3 What do you think the rights to broadcast the Masters is? How much do you think ESPN and CBS pay?

Speaker 1 I don't know. Per year?

Speaker 1 Hundreds of millions?

Speaker 1 Zero dollars. Oh, because they free.
It's free. Yeah, because they don't.

Speaker 3 It's free because that way Augusta can control everything that goes on with the broadcast. So it's like, we're going to set it up.
You guys show up.

Speaker 3 You're going to get all the ratings, but you can't tell us how to do shit.

Speaker 1 And remember, this is our tournament. Remember.
This is a real commercial. Yeah, well, there are some commercials.

Speaker 3 Yeah, there are four sponsors. It's like IBM, Rolex,

Speaker 3 some other

Speaker 3 super-rich company.

Speaker 1 What they did in, I think it was like 2002-ish,

Speaker 1 when the whole women want to join Augusta, and they're like, no, you can't. This is the boys club.

Speaker 1 They pulled all their commercials for a couple of years so that those advertisers wouldn't get blowback. Because they're like, we don't need, we don't need to make money off this.

Speaker 1 So they were like, we'll just go no commercials so no one can complain to our advertisers.

Speaker 3 Yeah, they do. It's the ultimate flex.
They do a million dollars in sales. I think, was it every minute at the pro shop? It's insane.

Speaker 3 They make a shitload of money and they have zero dollars in TV rights. If they wanted to, they could.

Speaker 1 I think it's every hour because that's every hour.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that probably makes sense.

Speaker 3 Every minute would be a lot.

Speaker 1 That'd be a ton.

Speaker 1 That'd be a shitload of money.

Speaker 1 That's a lot of intro sandwiches. Hold on.

Speaker 1 Would it be a billion, though?

Speaker 3 Hold on. No, it would not be a billion.
It wouldn't be a billion. You know how much a billion is?

Speaker 6 60?

Speaker 3 A shit ton. It's a shit ton, yeah.

Speaker 1 Exactly right. All right, so if they were open for what, 10 hours?

Speaker 3 10 hours a day, four days.

Speaker 1 so they'd make 600 million a day i think that would be more than if they built enough photoshops they could do it

Speaker 1 that was a cool stat until my brain was like yeah no it's it's a million per hour which is still a fuckload of money i saw it it was like something like seven they make like 70 plus million uh in the course of the five days yeah they also have like underground tunnels for security and shit it's basically disneyland yeah that rules the whole place is awesome you could tell you gotta go sometime you could tell me any lie about it gus and i would believe it too yeah we gotta go we We're gonna go one year

Speaker 1 as a podcast, and we'll review it.

Speaker 3 Yeah, we'll get

Speaker 3 a four and a half balls.

Speaker 1 It's pretty good. Four and a half out of five balls.

Speaker 3 Yeah, pretty good golf course.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 so shout out John Rahm. We're gonna talk more masters with Scott Van Pelton in a minute.

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Speaker 1 All right, Hank, pick a number one through three for the next topic we talk. Three.
Three, okay, Odell Beckham to the Ravens.

Speaker 1 Wow. Number three.
Number three.

Speaker 1 That did kind of shock me, and it feels like.

Speaker 3 It's the least Ravens-like signing of all time.

Speaker 3 And the Ravens have been Stone Cold committed to not having a good wide receiver for like the last, I don't know, the entire existence of their franchise.

Speaker 1 Well, I guess we should wait to see what Odell Beckham looks like because it could be the most Ravens signing of all time if Odell Beckham's washed. I don't think he is.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But that would be the most Ravens signing of all time to sign Odell Beckham, and he's not good.

Speaker 3 Well, he hasn't had a full season in what seems like forever right now. And when he was healthy playing on the Rams, he was good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, he was lighting up the Super Bowl when he tore his ACL.

Speaker 3 Yeah, he was really good. So this seems to me like I don't think Odell would have signed with the Ravens if he thought that Lamar Jackson wasn't going to play next year.

Speaker 3 Well, counterpoint, now that I said that out loud, you're counterpointing yourself. Yeah, they did pay him $15 million,

Speaker 3 which is an insane amount of money to pay Odell Beckham Jr.

Speaker 1 Right, right. It does feel, though, that Lamar Jackson should be

Speaker 1 excited about this. You think maybe

Speaker 1 it's a nice little offer like buying chocolates and some flowers when you fuck up. Okay, here's Odell Beckham.

Speaker 3 You know what? It seems a little bit desperate.

Speaker 1 A little desperate.

Speaker 3 It's like, please, please, Lamar, take it.

Speaker 1 But maybe that's what Lamar wanted because

Speaker 1 it's been a lot of no conversing back and forth. A lot of you're sleeping on the couch, you know, two ships in the night.
Maybe this is what he wanted. It's like, just show me something.

Speaker 1 Show me that you love me in some form or fashion. Either could be mostly like hopefully $300 million or here's an Odell Beckham.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I mean, it also could be like Lamar looks at this and he's like, you could have just given me the $15 million. Yeah, true, true.
That would have been cool, too. True.

Speaker 1 But they're like, hey, look, isn't this nice? We got you a receiver.

Speaker 3 He's going to look so fast in that purple. Yeah.
He's going to look really fast. Very fast.

Speaker 1 The other NFL story, Joe Douglas, where was he at, Billy? Did you see this? He was at some fundraiser. And they asked him, Is Aaron Rodgers coming? He's like, oh, he's coming.
He's going to be here.

Speaker 1 So it has to happen now. Well, it seemed like GM, like, at a, it looked like a fundraiser just being like, yep, Aaron Rodgers is in.

Speaker 3 It seemed like the Ravens put a premium on Odell because they knew that he was supposed to meet with the Jets tomorrow morning. Right.
And that they were probably going to try to sign him.

Speaker 3 So they're like, don't let Odell leave the building. Give him a big offer and have him sign with us instead.
Which is, I mean, it would make way more sense for him to go to the Jets.

Speaker 1 Right?

Speaker 3 Like, if you're Odell,

Speaker 3 your dad was cutting together highlight reels of how good you were with a quarterback that couldn't get you the ball when you were playing with Baker, right?

Speaker 3 Going to the Ravens and having maybe no Lamar Jackson, that seems like that's a recipe for absolute disaster. Yes.
If it's Tyler Huntley or somebody else, not Lamar Jackson next year,

Speaker 1 Odell is going to be pissed off.

Speaker 3 Oh, he's going to be real. He's going to be very,

Speaker 3 he's probably going to sit out and protest by like week three.

Speaker 1 He's going to be very pissed. He's going to be very, very pissed.
All right. Next number, Hank.

Speaker 1 Two. Two.

Speaker 1 UFC was awesome on Saturday night. Israel Adesanya slept.

Speaker 1 Pereira, who he was 0-3 against lifetime, two kickboxing, one UFC, and then maybe like the most cold-hearted move of all time,

Speaker 1 mocked Pereira's son, who was crying watching his dad get knocked out. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I would, I'll say it. I love, I mean, I loved it.
I know that people probably were like, oh, that's, that's fucked up. But Adesanya afterwards said, I'm petty, bro.

Speaker 1 I remember the first time Pereira knocked me out in Brazil, his son came into the ring. This is a five-year-old we're talking about at the time.
And then started to just lie dead next to me.

Speaker 1 I'm like, you fucking little asshole. I'll whoop your ass if your dad don't do it for you.
I looked for his kid and I pointed at him and I saw him and I copied the taunt just to remind him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I love it. I absolutely love it.

Speaker 3 Like mocking a five-year-old.

Speaker 1 He's like 10 now.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but at the time, he remembered that a five-year-old did that to him dude if you knock somebody's dad out you're allowed to make fun of that person's son yes that's what goes along with it also if you're

Speaker 3 stronger than your dad exactly if you're a ufc fighter

Speaker 3 maybe don't bring your kid to watch you get your ass kicked yeah because even if you win the fight you're you're like five-year-old is watching you step into the ring and some dude's trying to knock your head off okay but what if this becomes

Speaker 1 His villain origin story where he becomes the best Pereira's son becomes the best UFC fighter of of all time you know and then beats Adesanya does Adesanya have a son I don't know because his because Pereira's son should be allowed to challenge Adesanya's son yeah in a fight like bare-knuckle boxing now we're just commissioning children fighting yeah I mean rough and rowdy rough and rowdy yeah come come see us West Virginia it was awesome though it was like I love Adesanya he hasn't been able to beat Pereira I was at the the fight in Madison Square Garden where Pereira was just like he just Adesanya was winning the fight the whole time then Pereira just kept on coming and coming coming couldn't stop him And it was 0-3.

Speaker 1 And then finally, he gets what he's been looking for, that elusive victory against him.

Speaker 3 I love Adesanya because he actually does believe that he's a video game character when he fights. He looks like he's in Tekken.
And he, like, they call him the stylebender, right? Yes.

Speaker 3 And so he'll just like, he'll pull out these crazy ass fucking moves where it looks like he's a video game character, like, trying to shoot a Hadouken at you. Yeah.

Speaker 3 And then you're like, wait, what is he doing? And he's like saying it's some energy transfer or some bullshit like that. I love having a wild card like that fighting the UFC.

Speaker 1 Yes. No, it was, it was awesome.
What were you going to say, Billy?

Speaker 6 He also stole his selly. Adesanya stood over him and was taking his bow and arrow selly just right after and just throwing him into him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. He just like

Speaker 1 desecrated the man. If you're 0-3 against a guy, I would imagine you have a lot of built-up anger, things that you've like...
Adesanya probably just sat at home and like, you know what?

Speaker 1 If I beat him, I'm going to fucking do this. No, I'm going to do this.

Speaker 3 Billy, you remember the first time you won a food challenge? How good that felt and how you wanted to disrespect the food? That's what he's going through right now.

Speaker 3 He just got embodied by food left and right. And now, of course, yeah, you're allowed to rub it in the face a little bit.

Speaker 1 Fired up.

Speaker 6 Also, Mazadall retired. Yeah, he did.

Speaker 1 Which people kind of thought because he was obviously fighting in Miami, his hometown.

Speaker 6 So, yeah, he'll be back. I mean, he was an undercard on Kimbo Slice's backyard fights, backyard brawls.

Speaker 1 Like, what a career. He'll be back.

Speaker 3 Sublime Directory. Who can forget?

Speaker 1 He will be back.

Speaker 1 Hell yeah. We're calling our shot.

Speaker 1 Last one, one.

Speaker 1 I was going to say 17. Oh, damn.
Did you see, by the way, Stadhole Sports, he had a blog today.

Speaker 1 Our friend, I think there was a guy on Price is Right who did Plinko, and he got zero four times in a row. This was fake.

Speaker 1 And he, well, I'm just going off the blog. Right.
The blog was fake? No, the Plinko clip. I saw the Plinko.
Okay, all right. So I didn't see the clip.
I just read the blog. It said that it was harder.

Speaker 1 It's actually

Speaker 1 like crazier what you're doing not getting the lottery ball. Four Plinkos in a row at zero.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Both rigged, yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Number one, NBA playoffs. We're ready.
And we also had a great

Speaker 1 last three days of the NBA regular season. We had the Mavericks tanking on Slovenia night.
That sucked. There was literally.
I didn't know it was Slovenia.

Speaker 3 Oh, dude.

Speaker 1 There were like,

Speaker 1 there were hundreds of Slovenians who flew halfway across the country to see Luca play, and he played one quarter. It was Slovenia night.
Did not know that.

Speaker 1 It made it very funny. But

Speaker 1 yeah, everyone's upset because the Mavs were still alive to make the play-in game. I think they needed to go 2-0, and I think Oklahoma City had to lose a game.
And they're like, fuck it.

Speaker 1 We'd rather keep our own pick, which they have to be in the top 10 to keep their own pick. Otherwise, they owe it to the Knicks.
So this makes them the 10th worst team.

Speaker 1 So their lottery ball odds are better. So we saw,

Speaker 1 people were so upset. And it's like, how can you be,

Speaker 1 how can this shock you at all when we've been heading this direction for a very long time that once you get to a point where it's like, we can't win the title, we're going to try to lose.

Speaker 1 It just, we were eventually going to get to a point where a team tanked while still being mathematically alive. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 I mean, it's still weird, though, to see a team just run away from playoff contention, especially when you made a move like bring Kyrie in, which seemed, that was an all-in move, right? Yes.

Speaker 3 I'd say that the Mavericks were all-in on Kyrie. And then Kyrie, he skipped his exit interview with the Mavericks.
No way.

Speaker 1 No way. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 He did not do his exit interview. Luca was upset by that because everybody else did their exit interview.
Kyrie decided he was done. He was done with the season.
So Kyrie kind of just...

Speaker 3 Congrats to Kyrie. He's getting better at breaking up franchises.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's

Speaker 3 in record time.

Speaker 1 The Mavs are in a weird spot.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the game, though, it was bizarre because a team that could still make the playoffs being like, fuck it, we're not going to do it.

Speaker 1 And then on the other side, it was actually a perfect like mirror image of like competence i know that people are mad about the mavs move but if you're trying to keep your pick winning that game and potentially having a hail marriott going into the play-in game and then having to win those games to get swept like i'm not if i were a mavs fan i'd be fine with it maybe not a slovenian mavs fan but every other mavs fan i'm fine with it they should refund the people that flew over they should the balls they played the balls in this game and the bulls should have tried to lose because they already have the 10th spot.

Speaker 1 They're already in the play-in game, and they also, if they don't make it to the playoffs, would want better odds, and it would have like, I think they're going to now end up like 14 or 15.

Speaker 1 They would have been 10th. So it was one team doing the correct thing, getting scrutinized for it, and the Bulls being idiots being like, oh,

Speaker 1 we want to get everyone like more time together before we get... swept by the Bucs.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And so I just like the NBA has been heading this way and it wasn't stopped when the process happened and all these things.

Speaker 1 So, you can't be upset that this happened when you've kind of allowed it for a long time.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I've seen a lot of people say that they need to fix the lottery and figure it out. No one really knows, understands how to fix it.

Speaker 3 I still think that there should be a tournament after the season's over where all the teams that don't make the playoffs compete, the winner of that tournament then gets either the best odds in the lottery, yes, or they get the first overall pick.

Speaker 3 If it's better than a pl the mid-season tournament, if you want to try to add more games and like you know, more excitement, having these teams play at the end of the season that all suck yeah and being like who can who can be the best would be fun yeah well the mavericks didn't even have the worst weekend i would say of of all teams that were in playoff contention i'd say that would go to the timberwolves yeah your timber my timberwolves the future's looking great right now for him rudy gobert took a punch at kyle anderson in the huddle um according to woge kyle anderson told him to shut the fuck up bitch Woge he decided to censor the word fuck but not bitch that's an interesting editorial

Speaker 3 The disagreement started with Anderson telling Gobert to block some shots, and then Gobert telling him to grab a rebound. And then Cal Anderson said, shut the fuck up, bitch.

Speaker 3 Gobert threw a punch and got sent home for the day.

Speaker 1 How are we feeling about your future?

Speaker 3 Well, we're talking about the process right now, right?

Speaker 3 It was good expected value. My expected value out of that bet was the right bet.
Now, things

Speaker 1 process over results. Right.

Speaker 3 Process guy. The process of putting that future in was the correct.

Speaker 1 The The number was too good.

Speaker 3 The number was too good. It turned out the expected value based on what the odds were when I put the bet in.
I'd make that bet 100 times a hundred.

Speaker 1 I think your line was like if they could just win two series and get to the Western Conference final, I'll have a hedge opportunity, which would be only the second time the Wolves have ever done that in the history of their friends.

Speaker 3 I'm going to retract that and say if they win one playoff series, then I'll still be in good shape.

Speaker 1 So you know what, though? KG said he loved to see it. He said he loved

Speaker 1 a little bit of, what was the exact quote, Hank? So you might be okay. Yes.

Speaker 3 This might be what you need to do. Maybe it's like training camp where in football, you get so sick of punching your own teammates in the face, you want to hit somebody else in the face.

Speaker 1 What did he say exactly? Nothing like a light scuffle to tighten up the screws before the playoffs. LFG.
There we go. LFG.
Yeah. I'm in.

Speaker 3 Okay, I'm back in. It was a good bet.

Speaker 1 And then he responded and said, playoffs, play-in, whatever. Stay sucked.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah. No, it's good.
I'm very excited about this. I think that you guys are going to be eating your words when it comes to the Timberwolves.

Speaker 1 Mm-hmm. They're ready ready to go.
They're fired up. So the

Speaker 1 seedings are set.

Speaker 1 In the East, the Bucs one, Celtics two, Sixers three,

Speaker 1 Cavs four.

Speaker 1 The

Speaker 1 Sixers, Celtics is what we all obviously in this room want in the second round. Hank, you weren't on the show last week.

Speaker 1 False.

Speaker 1 Oh, you came on for just the lottery ball. That's right.
Okay. Did you get that? You came on for the lottery ball.
You weren't on the show to talk sports.

Speaker 1 what did you well i could have talked about whatever you wanted to you chose to talk lottery ball what

Speaker 1 it's your show well no i we asked you to come on

Speaker 1 we asked you to come on at when we were going to talk sports and you couldn't do that but anyway what do you think about the celtics blowing the one seed they we did talk about this oh we did yeah oh man my mind's they didn't blow the one seed oh they didn't no were they they were the one seed at one time right yeah for the majority of the season

Speaker 1 i guess i mean they didn't i I wouldn't say they blew the one seed.

Speaker 1 They could have had it. They did not.
They had some injuries. You know, they didn't.

Speaker 3 It sounds like Brooks. It sounds like you're discussing.

Speaker 1 There's some load management going on. It wasn't as bad as Brooks.

Speaker 1 It wasn't as bad as Brooks.

Speaker 1 But no, I'm ready. I'm excited.
You feeling good? Yeah, I mean, Jalen Brown's injury is a little bit weird. We're going to see what happens with that.
He cut his hand picking up a broken vase.

Speaker 1 He's a baseball player. Yeah, I'm just programmed whenever I see hand injuries to think whatever they're saying is fake.

Speaker 1 Wait, why is that? Because always

Speaker 1 like baseball injuries, like, oh, you know, I fell out of a shower when Dustin Johnson fell down the stairs. Like, some injuries just sound weird.
Yeah, picking up.

Speaker 1 And the hand ones are always weird because it's like, that's also usually when people get frustrated, they like punch something and then they say, oh, like, I cut my hand on a vase.

Speaker 1 Yeah, picking up a base. I don't think he punched something, but it's just a weird coincidence.

Speaker 3 Well, so he got five stitches from picking up a vase, which seems like, that seems like a lot of stitches for just grabbing something, doesn't it?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think I could grab a vase and not get any stitches.

Speaker 3 I'm confident.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I really do.
We should do that challenge. We should do the Jalen Brown challenge.
It's going fast. Actually, we should do that for PM TV this week.
Can we set that up, Max?

Speaker 1 Just break a vase in the green screen room and see if we can pick it up without

Speaker 3 getting a stitch.

Speaker 1 I'll do you one better.

Speaker 3 I'll do it blindfolded. I think I could pick up a vase blindfolded and not get five stitches.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I'm down to watch that part. Let's talk about it.

Speaker 1 Don't you want to play golf this summer? It's broke.

Speaker 3 But the difference between me and Hank is I would sacrifice playing golf this summer if it meant good content for PM TV.

Speaker 1 I think this is a future problem. Why not both?

Speaker 1 No, I mean, I will. I'll be able to play.
That's great content for PM TV.

Speaker 3 I'll be able to play golf because I'm going to be able to pick up this vase without shattering my finger.

Speaker 1 We don't know when the video's coming out. Well, no, but me and PMT are going to last.
We don't know when the real one video is.

Speaker 10 No, golf is. No, Hank's right.
Golf is good.

Speaker 1 So we're going to get that video?

Speaker 10 I never said we weren't going to get the video.

Speaker 3 What's the ETA on that?

Speaker 10 It's coming.

Speaker 5 That bad boy's coming.

Speaker 1 Okay, so Jalen Brown vase injury. Max, how are you feeling about the Sixers?

Speaker 10 Sixers had a great win on Friday night that no one's talking about against the Hawks.

Speaker 1 Where the Hawks? Oh, the Hawks were punting.

Speaker 10 No, the Sixers didn't play six guys.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay.

Speaker 10 Chaden Springer revenge game. Okay.
It was awesome.

Speaker 1 Mac McClung got some time. Nice.

Speaker 10 Yeah, and I don't know. I'm fired up for the Sixers.
I watched that whole game on Friday night when I was expecting it to be the worst game of all time, and it was really fun.

Speaker 3 So we got to figure out what's the bet for the inevitable Celtic Sixers second-round game. I think we should get to that first.

Speaker 1 Yeah. People were throwing out the idea that you guys would do a shave-your-beard bet.
Yeah. Loser shaves their beard.
I think we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

Speaker 3 But we can say right now, if we're planning out a few times,

Speaker 3 if you guys play each other in the second round, would you be willing to do that?

Speaker 1 Why don't we just make it whichever team gets further?

Speaker 1 No. Loser has to shit.
Yeah, why wouldn't we do that?

Speaker 10 No, no, we should do it. We should wait for

Speaker 10 the same thing. No, we should.

Speaker 1 No, because you should be penalized if one of your teams loses and doesn't even get it. I think you guys are just jumping the gunny.

Speaker 1 You should just pump the brakes and relax and wait till the second round.

Speaker 3 We bought some shirts. We should put some shirts out.
Yeah, we should.

Speaker 1 We should do some shirts. This is merch has just talked to us.
They want us to

Speaker 1 talk about the next round and the round after that.

Speaker 3 You think Peyton Protection.

Speaker 1 You guys are going to be rooting for the Celtics, obviously, right? Yeah, exactly. I'm going to be rooting for the Sixers Sixers to lose in maximum amount of pain.

Speaker 1 But no, but in the Celtics, in the whole

Speaker 1 playoffs.

Speaker 1 I'm rooting for the... You want the best case scenario for this podcast, given that we have an award after Blake Griffin, Blake of the Year.
Same way, you know, Brooks is in it. We want him to win.

Speaker 1 We all want the Celtics.

Speaker 1 We all want. Is he in Blake of the Year? No, but he's

Speaker 1 a recurring guest.

Speaker 10 George Ngiang.

Speaker 1 George Ngiang is also a recurring guest. What about that? Kevin Love? Duncan Robinson.
Duncan Robinson.

Speaker 1 Are they in?

Speaker 1 We got a lot of people. Do we do season-long awards for them? LeBron James.
All right. I was just trying to.
I guess you guys are against our friends. That's fine.
No.

Speaker 1 We just listed all of our friends. We're rooting for them all to have a really fun time in the playoffs.
Pat Bev. Pat Bev?

Speaker 3 I would like to see. What? I think it'd be good for the show, Hank.

Speaker 1 You have to admit. CJ McCollum?

Speaker 3 Yes, of course, CJ. Having Celtics Sixers play each other in a series.

Speaker 1 CJ of the Year? I didn't know we did that.

Speaker 1 My bad. That's why we should.
CJ of the Year. Has he hay?

Speaker 1 All right. In the West,

Speaker 1 it's going to be awesome. That's really.
We'll do a whole preview with someone, but the Suns and Clippers playing in the first round, and then, I mean,

Speaker 1 even the Kings and Warriors, where everyone expects the Warriors to win that easily.

Speaker 1 Kings can just play No Obelieves in Us the entire playoffs. Yeah, which is crazy.

Speaker 3 It's crazy to think that

Speaker 3 so the Kings are, they're not going to be favored in the series, right? If you look at what the odds are. But the Warriors can also play the Nobody Believes in Us card, too.
Yeah, well.

Speaker 3 For the first time ever.

Speaker 1 No one believes in them on the road because they're terrible.

Speaker 3 Yeah, they are bad on the road.

Speaker 3 I still think that it's Chris Paul's. This is his postseason to lose.
Oh, I'd agree. If he doesn't get a championship, it's like, what are you doing, Chris Paul? This is the one time that you have.

Speaker 1 And then I can't wait for the Lakers to win the play-in game and then all of ESPN to be like, watch out for the Lakers. Watch out.

Speaker 1 Let's watch out. Grizzlies, Lakers would be great.
We need to have Shannon Sharp in every game. Yep.

Speaker 3 That would be so good. Nobody's talking about the Nuggets.
No one's talking about the Nuggets. That's true.
They're flying under the radar. Just keep an eye on them.

Speaker 3 No one's talking about the Bucs either.

Speaker 1 People are talking about the Bucks.

Speaker 3 No one's talking about the Bucks.

Speaker 1 People are definitely talking about the Bucs.

Speaker 3 A lot of people. No one's talking about the Timbers.

Speaker 1 Just mute the team name. And then, of course.
I'm not talking about them. Yeah.
No one. I'm talking about them.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What were you going to say?

Speaker 8 Warriors versus Kings is David versus Goliath in my fall rankings. Number one versus 124.

Speaker 1 No, I love that.

Speaker 1 worse. Your overall power rankings of every

Speaker 8 Warriors are number one and 124 dead last for the Kings. I already apologized to the Kings when they clinched the playoffs, but oh, you probably get a lot of tweets.
Oh, yeah, a lot from the Kings.

Speaker 1 I'm actually shocked we haven't had, we didn't have a terrible Kings take that people could dunk on us for. I mean, besides Jake's.
I mean, preseason, it was the right call.

Speaker 1 They had to make the playoffs. Something we would have done.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but I mean, who has Kings takes in general?

Speaker 3 Well, I'm saying, like, but we usually find the take that hasn't even been said and then have it somehow be wrong yeah that's true we are really good now that that also is a byproduct of us not ever saying like where do we think the kings are going to finish because they probably would have said dead last this is going to be their first game on abc since 2007 that's crazy that's every team

Speaker 1 regular season they air like crazy a game a week okay let's get to who's back of the week then we have scott van pelt coming up the pro football football show is presented by the chevy silverado built for the hustle ready for the game chevy silverado is America's most dependable full-size truck.

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Speaker 12 Head to Chevy.com to learn more and build your own Chevy Silverado.

Speaker 1 Okay, who's back in the week? Hank.

Speaker 1 I have a couple. My first one is me.
I'm back.

Speaker 3 Thanks, Hank.

Speaker 1 Vacation was nice. I missed you.

Speaker 1 I just want to say, like, I know I listened to the podcast.

Speaker 1 I heard, and I've heard over the years, you know, the hate and vitriol you guys have towards taking time off, and you love the grind day in, day out, 365.

Speaker 1 And I wonder sometimes, like, am I wrong? Is it messed up of me of thinking this way? And then I go to places like San Diego and see how people live their life. And it's like, yes,

Speaker 1 these are my people.

Speaker 3 Vacation people.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's just a lifestyle.

Speaker 1 Sometimes I'm like, you know, everyone in this room has a different mindset. Maybe I am wrong, but then it's like, no, I'm just

Speaker 1 with the wrong people. Oh, okay.

Speaker 3 So you want to, is this you breaking up with us?

Speaker 1 No, no, no. I decided.
I was happy you were back, but I guess I shouldn't be.

Speaker 3 This sounds like a, it's not you, it's me talk where you're like,

Speaker 3 you've discovered yourself on vacation. Like, you did your eat prey love out in San Diego.
Also, now you want to be a beach person.

Speaker 1 Isn't San Diego like just a ton of like retired like Navy and military? Like they deserve that. No, there's people everywhere.
Okay. Out and about.
Bars are filled every night.

Speaker 1 It's, it's just a different, it's a different, it's, it's an eye-opening experience. Dude, so you don't want to be with us.
Do you want to leave? No, I do. That's not.

Speaker 3 Hank, I want you to be happy.

Speaker 1 Right, but then I go on vacation. You guys just chirp me constantly and make me feel bad for being on vacation.
But that's because we miss you.

Speaker 3 This makes a lot of sense to me. It seems like you want to be just a full-time vacation person.

Speaker 1 We miss you. No, I just think that taking a little bit of time off to spend with family and resting and recharging is good.
Yeah, you can't do it. Every once in a while,

Speaker 1 well, I came back and I was getting... I mean, again, it is what it is.
I fucked up. I know.
No, somebody you didn't know you didn't know. I screwed everything.
I screwed everything up.

Speaker 1 No, you didn't.

Speaker 1 Brooks screwed Brooks. Yep.
He didn't play well. Who's others?

Speaker 1 But we love you. We miss you.
That's why we chirp you. I miss you guys.

Speaker 1 It would be worse if you. It wasn't nice to hear the things you were saying when you were on the podcast.
I wasn't there. What did we say?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I wouldn't say anything mean about you.

Speaker 1 I was your Fire Fest because you asked me like five to do the podcast at five o'clock in the afternoon, the day of.

Speaker 1 You weren't my Firefest. Hank, what is your joke?

Speaker 3 What did you miss about us?

Speaker 1 You were not my Fire Fest.

Speaker 3 I love you, Hank. What did you miss the most about this podcast?

Speaker 1 Wouldn't it be worse if you left and we just pretended like you never were coming back wouldn't that hurt more no oh okay well then i'll start to it was a week i was gone for like two days i thought i was i missed you so much i would just look up and just like not there i just miss you you

Speaker 1 become a travel blogger and make vacationing your job yeah it's a good idea influencer that's a good idea It's a really good idea. We need more whale companies.
I miss you guys too a lot.

Speaker 1 I just, you know. Yeah, you could boondoggle.
Like, Like,

Speaker 1 I mean, that was, or a sidetracked, but Donnie, everyone loves the Wanton Don. We love the Wanton Don.

Speaker 1 And Dave is in Italy right now, and he texted him some recommendations. And Dave was like, did you live here? And he's like, yeah, for a year.

Speaker 1 Dave just had no idea.

Speaker 3 Now, to be fair, Donnie, he did a lot of traveling around Europe during the year.

Speaker 1 But I knew he lived there.

Speaker 3 He was stationed overseas.

Speaker 1 I knew he lived there.

Speaker 1 I don't know the Wanton. I don't he's going to Everest.

Speaker 3 What did you miss the most about this podcast since you missed it so much?

Speaker 1 Just the camaraderie. Just guys being dudes, locker room.
Do you want to hug?

Speaker 1 Do you want to hug? No, no. Do you want to hug? Hug it out, bitch.

Speaker 1 Should we hug? No. I missed you.
I missed you guys, too. A lot.

Speaker 1 A lot, a lot.

Speaker 1 Whose back is the brew? Max is not Hank. We tried.
He's not Hank. Max is great.
No, but he's not you. See, what I'm doing is I'm putting him down to put you up.

Speaker 10 You also did that last week when he was.

Speaker 1 Well, you did also bet against UConn in every tournament game i don't i i don't like uconn though i stick with some point you're going to start to no no uh

Speaker 1 my news back of the week is the bruins yeah set the season record for wins in a season i just fucked that up but they they set the record for wins in the season

Speaker 1 uh pasta scored 60 goals our friend my friend john feidelberg has been you know watching every game talking about how good they are, wondering where the bandwagoners are, why more people aren't talking about the Bruins.

Speaker 1 So I'm here to start the bandwagon. Hop right on, just in time for playoffs.
Bruins, Celtics. I did put the future in a long time ago.
Bruins and Celtics both won the championship.

Speaker 1 That would be great, but I'm all Bruins for the rest of the month, at least a month and a half. Yeah,

Speaker 3 it's shocking that other members of sports media aren't talking enough about the Bruins setting, what'd you say, the season record for season wins?

Speaker 3 It's actually an incredible record. In a single season.
In a single season. The fact that they did that in a single season is the most impressive thing ever.
63 wins.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's pretty crazy.
So welcome, Puck Hank. He's going to go for it.

Speaker 3 President's trophy. Congrats on the president's trophy.

Speaker 1 The president's trophy in hockey, I think, is a bad thing, though. I will say that.
That is something I'm worried about.

Speaker 1 Just, you know, as day one on the bandwagon, it's like, do you really want to be flaunting the president's trophy in everyone's faces like Capitals fans used to do, and then they lose in the first round?

Speaker 1 That might be bad.

Speaker 3 It seemed like it was a personal shot. I thought you missed being on this podcast.

Speaker 1 Fact or fiction, the fact that the Capitals won the President's Trophy every year and lost in the playoffs first round like 10 times in a row.

Speaker 3 But the fact that you brought it up seemed like it was direct. It was personal.

Speaker 1 No, I'm just bringing up historical context. Historical context is important.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Well, we won a Stanley Cup.

Speaker 1 Eventually, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 So maybe eventually you'll get one, too.

Speaker 1 I already have one. But yeah, it'd be nice to get another one.

Speaker 3 I'm rooting for the Bruins. Bruins and Leafs.

Speaker 1 Those feel like they could conflict. Oh, big time.
But it's value.

Speaker 3 I got tremendous value.

Speaker 1 All right, Hank. Let's talk some puck.
I think we're going to have Biz and Whitney on for a playoff preview. You should get some really, really detailed Bruins questions from fights to ask them.

Speaker 1 I mean, just a lot of people. Why don't they shoot more on the power play?

Speaker 3 Yeah. This is the best hockey team of all time, right?

Speaker 1 It'd be a massive disaster.

Speaker 3 It would be a massive disappointment if they didn't win the Stanley Cup.

Speaker 1 Yeah, in a single season. Yep.
Chris Paul and the Bruins going for legacy this year. Yep.
All right, PFT, your who's back?

Speaker 3 My who's back of the week is Harry Potter. So I just found out that before we started the show,

Speaker 3 they're doing an eight-part series, just Harry Potter. I have a confession to make.

Speaker 1 I'm same.

Speaker 1 Same? Same.

Speaker 3 I've never read a word of Harry Potter. I've never seen a second of any Harry Potter movie.

Speaker 1 Same. They're just trying to find new ways to make us watch it, and I still won't watch it.
They're going to just keep making new Harry Potters in different types.

Speaker 1 Like, all right, Harry Potter, listen up. Who is it? What's her name? J.K.
Rowling. J.K.
Rowling. You put Harry Potter

Speaker 1 in a Twitter thread, and I'll read it. Okay.
The whole series.

Speaker 1 I won't actually do that. Maybe on the back of a cereal box?

Speaker 3 I've already committed to watching The Jersey Shore, which is one thing that I missed.

Speaker 3 I'm thinking about trying out Harry Potter, but I feel like, so when we were growing up, I was too old.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it felt like I was too old for it when it was young. When it first gets you, that's how old I am.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Because I'm really old.

Speaker 1 I read the books when I was a kid. I was right in the age frame, and that's actually when I read books.
Loved the books.

Speaker 3 Hated the movies. Can I just watch Star Wars? That's the same thing, right? Which I also haven't seen from start to finish.
Same.

Speaker 6 It's going to be HBO, so it might be like, we should do it.

Speaker 3 What, violent?

Speaker 1 No, like. But the books aren't violent.

Speaker 3 I'm saying it might get horny.

Speaker 1 Oh, but they're underage kids. Hufflepuff.
Billy.

Speaker 3 They're high schoolers.

Speaker 6 But freeze implied in the book.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but I don't want to watch high schoolers get freaked.

Speaker 1 Did you read the books? I read all the books.

Speaker 1 Sounds like you don't know what happened.

Speaker 6 No, there's plenty of implied banging in the book.

Speaker 1 What house are you, Billy? I'm probably Slytherin. You're Slytherin.
Yeah, what are you?

Speaker 1 Hanks Gryffindor? Hanks Gryffindor. Dude, he's a Hufflepuff.
You've run this entire company. That's been pretty much the extent.
Isn't there a Ravenclaw? There's like a staircase?

Speaker 1 Is there a staircase?

Speaker 6 Yeah, they move.

Speaker 3 There's a sorting hat, which is pretty much like the lottery ball machine.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, so Harry Potter's back.

Speaker 3 Harry Potter's back.

Speaker 1 By the who's back. Like a Dudley brother.

Speaker 1 That felt mean. Oh, no, Jesus said, that was mean.

Speaker 1 Oh, fuck.

Speaker 1 You're both Dudley brothers? The Dudley. Just you.

Speaker 3 Just me? You're Hagrid.

Speaker 1 That feels mean.

Speaker 8 That's a fat joke.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 no.

Speaker 1 Wait, are those all the way back? Good to have you back.

Speaker 10 In the third one, he gets blown up, right?

Speaker 1 Does he like fly up like a balloon? Oh, no. No, no, that was the ant.
That was the ant. That's right after football season.
I don't like that.

Speaker 3 Is that like the Dudley boys? You can just be a Dudley boy.

Speaker 1 Hank, you should be rocked. Hank and Billy, you guys totally missed out on you could just completely insult us with Harry Potter references.
Oh, never get them. Big Don.

Speaker 1 You could just keep doing that.

Speaker 3 People would love it.

Speaker 6 PFT works at at Green Gotts.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit.

Speaker 1 Oh, fuck. Oh, those are dwarves.
Good one, Billy. Yeah.
Oh, that's so funny.

Speaker 3 That's so funny. I forgot to laugh, Billy.

Speaker 6 I got more.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'm looking at it. Go, go, go.
Come on. Go, Hank.
You too. Big cat's haggard.
Yep.

Speaker 1 Fat.

Speaker 1 What else you got? We got some more.

Speaker 1 Shit. Hank's thinking.
What do you got for us? Lay on us. Mudblood.

Speaker 1 That's too far, Jake. Oh, no.

Speaker 5 That's a slur.

Speaker 1 Jake just uttered a slur.

Speaker 8 It's the immortal slur in the Harry Potter.

Speaker 1 You call this Mudbloods? Yeah. Oh, that sounds very hard.
No one's calling it, but like... No, it sounds like you called us that.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Is that what we are?

Speaker 3 I think he said over here was like Mudblood City. Oh.
That was a Tom Brennaman moment.

Speaker 6 Yeah, that was worse. Oh.

Speaker 1 You probably, I can't really think of many insults. You probably had the crumb in the World Cup.
Oh!

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 8 Well, you could also just shoot the killing curse.

Speaker 1 Just kill him if you want. No, I would never do that.
Yeah, that's too far.

Speaker 3 I don't read nerd shit.

Speaker 1 But the movie sucks. The show is probably going to suck, too.
Okay. That's my take.

Speaker 3 It sounds like there are a lot of words.

Speaker 1 Books are good, though.

Speaker 10 If they make a Game of Thrones.

Speaker 1 At least 200 pages.

Speaker 1 Multiple. Oh, Butterbeer, right?

Speaker 3 There's always like... There's always like 400 girls lined up around the block.

Speaker 3 There's this one store in New York that sells butterbeer, and they all line up, and then they take like 30 seconds to have their boyfriends take pictures of them with a butterbeer.

Speaker 3 I would try butterbeer. Yeah, why not? Those are two of my favorite things.
Yeah. My other who's back of the week is crack.
Crack's back in New York City, apparently. Yeah.

Speaker 3 New York Post reported that there's

Speaker 1 sold it on the street. It never left.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 No, crack was low-key. Like, it was mid for a while.
Crack fell off. And now apparently there's a resurgence in crack in New York City.
So be on the lookout.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 3 That's one drug I don't think I'd ever want to try.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Bad vibes.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I agree.

Speaker 6 Has fentanyl made people go back to crack?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yikes. That's nuts.
Yeah. All right.
My who's back is the state of Connecticut. They already were back, but they won another national championship, Quinnipiac.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Place where we taught our first course,

Speaker 1 beat Minnesota in the frozen four.

Speaker 1 Awesome, awesome game-winning goal.

Speaker 1 It looked like a design play off the face-off in overtime. So they scored with like 10 seconds into the overtime.

Speaker 1 Quinnipiac was, from everything I understand, was like a dog shit, dog shit hockey school for a very, very long time.

Speaker 1 And they've basically ripped off the most wins in hockey in the last two years, and now they have a title. And unfortunately, Minnesota just continues their sadness.

Speaker 3 Yeah, reciprocity with Wisconsin. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Well, although Wisconsin has more state of hockey, Minnesota, that is the, you know, the school, they have five national titles in hockey.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Wisconsin has six. But Quinnipiac, they're going to party so hard at Quinnipiac.
They might as well just cancel the rest of the semester there.

Speaker 1 I mean, pretty fucking crazy that the state of Connecticut just went back to back. Yep.
Like that.

Speaker 1 Okay. Bobcats.

Speaker 3 Bobcats, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think so.

Speaker 6 My who's back is Shaq. So remember that FTX case? There's a bunch of celebrities who are sponsoring it and being spokespersons.

Speaker 1 What FTX case?

Speaker 1 You know. No, I'm just kidding.

Speaker 6 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. With the SPM.

Speaker 3 Okay, so

Speaker 6 you know, like, Pineapple Express, Seth Rogan's character. Yep.
He likes serves papers. Yep.
So it turns out Shaq is the last person on that list.

Speaker 6 I think it's like 30 to 40 celebrities who's avoided getting served papers.

Speaker 3 It seems like Shaq would be very easy to track down.

Speaker 1 The easiest.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Maybe the easiest person in the world to track down, actually.

Speaker 6 So allegedly,

Speaker 6 Shaq's been avoiding them, like getting away from them, just not getting the papers. And he, someone connected to Shaq or a random person texted the serving group in Texas.
Shaq lives in the Bahamas.

Speaker 6 You stupid fuck. Give Beth Shaw my regards.
Beth Shaw is the server's wife. And so apparently someone allegedly connected to Shaq, maybe threatening the server.
And yeah, Shaq's nowhere to be seen.

Speaker 3 That cruel. Isn't he doing NBA on TNT?

Speaker 6 Yeah, he's like,

Speaker 1 they just lock that down. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Shaq Fu, he's avoided all the servers.

Speaker 3 He probably just swats it when they try to serve.

Speaker 1 Isn't he going to be... Do they go? They go on the road.
Oh, that would be awesome if it happened in the middle of the taping of the. You don't be sick.

Speaker 3 Like, Kenny Smith gets up, runs to the big screen, and meets Shaq there in Kenny Smith. Smith serves him with a subpoena.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 I just don't get why Shaq's having such a hard time. Yes, I'm not feeling bad for Shaq.
He did make a ton of money, but like, how the hell is

Speaker 6 SBF like getting really nothing? Like, he's out of jail. And like, Shaq's getting tracked down by a bunch of dudes with papers.

Speaker 3 Well, SBF, he's arrested, right? He's been out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but he's

Speaker 1 on probation? Like, is he on parole? I don't know. I saw that.

Speaker 3 It sounds like they already served SBF. Yeah, he's...

Speaker 1 But isn't he going to jail?

Speaker 6 Yeah, but no, they don't know yet.

Speaker 1 He can't get out of this. Right, but he hasn't.

Speaker 3 But Shaq has to be in the back. He went to jail.

Speaker 1 He paid the bail. He's out probably with a monitor.
Right.

Speaker 1 So he has gotten it worse than Shaq, which he should.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Right.

Speaker 6 But Shaq's on the run.

Speaker 3 Come on. I think what Billy's saying is that Shaq is too friendly to be really charged with a crime.

Speaker 1 Come on, leave Shaq alone. Yeah, just

Speaker 3 Shaq chill.

Speaker 6 He's like done enough to avoid the papers.

Speaker 3 Yeah, agreed. By evading it, there should be like

Speaker 3 it. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like a game.

Speaker 1 All right, Jake, finish this off. Then we'll get to SVP.

Speaker 8 Yeah, continuing with the hockey theme. My who's back is our first responders.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 8 Game week on Long Island. New York's bravest.
New York's finest. In Long Island.

Speaker 10 Clashing at UBS Arena.

Speaker 8 A sold-out UBS Arena. Saturday.
Coverage begins at 4:15 p.m. Eastern Time.
Battle of the Badge.

Speaker 1 Who are you on?

Speaker 8 On parcel.tv. I'm down the middle.

Speaker 3 Have to be. Got to pick us up.

Speaker 1 In the booth with Biz.

Speaker 8 But yeah, if you want to get hyped for this game, go to the Spit and Chicolits YouTube. Battle of the Badge documentary.

Speaker 8 They're behind the scenes crew, led by Sean. Mike helped as well.
Everyone,

Speaker 8 it was unreal.

Speaker 8 It'll get you very excited. They're going to fight.
Yeah, there's some fights.

Speaker 3 Which is always fun to watch.

Speaker 3 These guys have probably thought about who they're going to fight well ahead of time. Yeah.
This has been planned out.

Speaker 8 So it's an annual game.

Speaker 8 It's an emotional pre-game ceremony. Then when the puck drops, battle.

Speaker 1 Game time. Yeah.

Speaker 8 Let's go. So tune in, Barcelona.tv Saturday afternoon.

Speaker 1 Gonna be awesome. Love it.
Very excited. Very, very excited.

Speaker 1 Who are you rooting for, Billy? NYPD. Okay.
Nice.

Speaker 1 I don't, I think, well, I think I'm doing the in-between periods, so I don't think I'm allowed to. I think I'm going to just do the Jake thing.
Just be like neutral.

Speaker 1 But also, firefighters are awesome, and their trucks are cool.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I'm just thinking about the trucks. The trucks are going to be cool.

Speaker 3 But also, don't want to get arrested.

Speaker 1 But the trucks are.

Speaker 3 If I do get arrested,

Speaker 3 I hope both sides win. Yeah, there you go.

Speaker 1 I hope both sides win.

Speaker 1 All right, let's get to SVP. Talk a little more.
Masters, he was at Augusta all week. Great stuff with him.
Before we do that, PFT, you got a couple ads.

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Speaker 3 And now here is Scott Van Pelt.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on one of our favorite guests, great friend. It's a tradition unlike any other.
Scott Van Pelt live from the Augusta airport after the Masters. Here he is.

Speaker 1 Let's just hop right into it. John Rahm.

Speaker 1 Man is he strong.

Speaker 14 So that's your golf observation? Is John Rahm strong?

Speaker 1 Well, it's a Brian Windhorse tweet as well when he said and man is LeBron strong and man is he strong so but he is like you're you're watching this we're we're playing a weird tournament because of the rain and everything 30 holes today

Speaker 1 John Rahm when you're watching it and he takes over the lead was there any doubt in your mind that he was going to give that up like he just feels like a killer

Speaker 14 that that just doesn't give up those type of moments That's the exact word that Andy North, fellow Badger, used afterwards. He's a killer.
And not every guy out here is kind of wired like that.

Speaker 14 Rob just wants to squash you like a bug. And the thing about Brooks

Speaker 14 was that you could just sense, it was like a racehorse that was ahead, but was just slowing down. And you could just tell that he had to make birdies and he couldn't.

Speaker 14 And no, I mean, when they flipped the lead and then when Rob made Birdie on eight, to go ahead too, I mean, look, anything can happen here.

Speaker 14 I mean, but Rob just, and it's boring, it's kind of super super inside golf but like just technically what he did and like on 12 you got it fire over the butt you know hit it over the bunker don't mess with the flag perfect shot 13 hit it around the corner over the green down and chip it down make a birdie perfect 14 he hit a lousy drive then hit an incredible shot he just did everything technically perfect and nobody could really do anything to get close to them.

Speaker 14 And like, Phil shooting 65 was insane.

Speaker 14 But, I mean, you know, to answer your question, no, once Ram had the lead,

Speaker 14 it was a wrap.

Speaker 3 And the course kind of changed a little bit after the weather hit on Saturday. Drastically.
We saw when they called it off, there was just standing water everywhere.

Speaker 3 I couldn't even believe that they were still playing when they decided to suspend play.

Speaker 3 From a

Speaker 3 real golf point of view, because we're idiots that we just watched on TV and we just screamed like, go Brooks, let's go Brooks. And we don't really know what's going on out there.

Speaker 3 What was it about the course that changed that was at a disadvantage for Brooks and helped ROM?

Speaker 14 I don't know that it was the course, honestly. I mean, well, look, Brooks benefited massively, as did anybody who went late, early Thursday, Friday.
And that's just 100% luck of the draw.

Speaker 14 You either get the good weather or you don't. And Brooks in that part of the draw did.
And then, like, Rom and Tiger and JT and whoever else was out there.

Speaker 14 Like, Saturday, I can't explain to you how bad it was. I mean, relative to, I mean, I've been coming here for 20-something years.
I've been here when it's cold. I've been here where it rains.

Speaker 14 I've never been here where it was that cold and that rainy. And, like, Thomas told me today, he's like, I absolutely smoked my drive on 18.
I had 240 yards to get home on the 18th hole.

Speaker 14 Like, that's that's not a 240-yard second shot for these guys. And so I just thought, Rahm, I mean, look, John Rahm is so strong.
He was really strong in the shitty weather on Saturday.

Speaker 14 And then more than anything, like when they came out Sunday morning and Rahm had a putt for Birdie and Brooks had a putt for par, Brooks missed, John made.

Speaker 14 Just like that, it goes from four to two. And I mean, that's as big a momentum shift as you could have.
And Brooks just couldn't make a birdie.

Speaker 14 When he didn't make the birdie on two and Rahm made the birdie on three, you could just, I mean, you just,

Speaker 14 like I said, that's the racehorse analogy. It's just, you could feel Brooks fading.
And I don't think it was the course as much as it was just he couldn't,

Speaker 14 he just couldn't it felt like a little bit like Rory at St. Andrews.
He couldn't stretch it out. Right.
And there's a, there's a freedom in trailing in majors.

Speaker 14 I don't know how to explain it or why it is, but it almost feels like it's just better to be the whoever's in second.

Speaker 1 It also just felt like all Sunday. And Brooks did not play well, so we're not making excuses, but it felt like he just couldn't get that one bounce that like you see one good thing happen.

Speaker 1 It's like, all right, let's go do this. It felt like every time was just a little bit off, a little bit here.
The shot was a little short. He just couldn't get that one bounce.

Speaker 14 100%.

Speaker 14 Like the ninth hole, there's so many greens out here.

Speaker 14 If you, like, like on 14, the shot RO hit was nuts, and it rolls to exactly the right spot. Like, the shot Brooks hit on nine is an inch from not getting caught up in the fringe.

Speaker 14 And if it doesn't, it rolls to, I don't know, five feet. Like, he could easily, it's easily in birdie range if that happens.

Speaker 14 I don't know how short he was from being on the green on four, but it didn't seem like a ton. You're right.
He was just fractionally off.

Speaker 14 But I mean, Ram is just an absolute monster right now. And, you know, like I said, what you get asked beforehand, oh, who do you like? And this and that.
And I actually, I said, Brooks.

Speaker 14 I like Brooks a lot.

Speaker 14 You and I were talking about hedging. Do you hedge? Nope.
Never hedge.

Speaker 1 Team, no hedge. Team no hedge.
Team no hedge. Wish I did.

Speaker 14 Team hedge.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yes.

Speaker 14 Maybe that's the thought. But

Speaker 14 I said to, I forget which show, but I just said, like, why

Speaker 14 pick anybody other than Rahm or Scheffler? Because it's going to be Sunday night and one of them will win. And we'll just go, well, no shit.
Of course they were going to win. That's who they are.

Speaker 14 They're just, they're better than anyone else right now. And, you know, here we are, and it's John Rahm.

Speaker 3 Now, if you're a Brooks stand, such as ourselves, is it fair to say, can I say, like, Brooks is officially back? Is he back?

Speaker 1 Yes, 100%.

Speaker 14 Nice.

Speaker 1 That feels good. Nice.
That feels good to see him.

Speaker 14 It was good to talk to him Friday. Like I've always, I've always liked him.

Speaker 14 He's got like kind of an athletic arrogance that's different than a lot of golfers, which maybe some people think's off-putting. I don't.
I mean, he's just over it. He, you know,

Speaker 14 I want to play great in majors because I like him. And other tournaments, I just aren't that interesting to him.

Speaker 14 And he's healthy. And if he's healthy,

Speaker 14 he's, you know, Ram's strong. Brooks is strong too, man.
Yeah. I just, did you see how much I just spit there? That was a lot of spit.

Speaker 1 It was good. It was good.
It was good. A lot of moisture all weekend in the gospel.

Speaker 1 Pimento cheese capital right there.

Speaker 14 But he's really strong. Not as much spit.
And absolutely, absolutely, he's back. And it's more fun

Speaker 14 in the game when

Speaker 14 Kepka is in the mix. I mean, the dude won four in like 18 months, and he had a chance.
What do he finish? He finished second on his own. So that's the second runner up here.
So

Speaker 14 unequivocally, Brooks Kepka back.

Speaker 1 So, something I love about the Masters, and this is going to be a little bit of a curveball because they do a great job of celebrating the champion, and that becomes the prevailing story.

Speaker 1 And a lot of the other stuff just gets kind of washed away. There's not a lot of other noise.
You know, the live, everyone thought it was going to be a big thing. It really wasn't.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 go ahead.

Speaker 1 My one question, one story that I would like for everyone to talk about.

Speaker 1 Patrick Cantley is the slowest golfer of all time. Were people pissed after?

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 extra question at Augusta, could Brooks and John Rahm have just played through? Could they just been like, guys, we're just going to go ahead. Like, this is too much.

Speaker 14 If you're at Immuni

Speaker 14 and you're, you know, stopping the cart person and, you know, slugging back some suds, you're absolutely airmailing the group in front of you. Like, let's go.
Yes.

Speaker 14 I mean, Hovlin and Cantley took forever.

Speaker 14 And

Speaker 14 there's a certain amount of, I'll give you some latitude. It's the masters.
It's a big deal. I get that you have a routine and you stick to it.
I also get that you're not in the lead and they are.

Speaker 14 And they're sitting on their golf bags like, while we're young, you know, like, what are we doing? And good God, they took forever.

Speaker 14 Kepka said afterwards, like, he's, I think he, I mean, he was being, maybe, maybe John did go to the bathroom seven times, but he's like, I think Ron went to the bathroom seven times and we were still waiting.

Speaker 14 And like, we're the lead group by a lot.

Speaker 14 you gotta,

Speaker 14 you gotta have a better sense of sort of,

Speaker 14 I mean, I think anybody that plays golf, you know, like I always hate it. I always feel like if someone, like, oh God, someone's on the tee, like, let's go, let's go.
And this is the Masters, right?

Speaker 14 And they're, they're like six ahead of us, and we're grinding over the spore footer. I mean, no, I don't, I technically, I don't think, Big Cat, you can play through.

Speaker 14 Would have been interesting to see what would have happened if they did. But it was, yeah, that took entirely too long for the second to the last group to play.

Speaker 3 What are the rules in terms of a shot clock?

Speaker 3 Is there somebody there with a stopwatch that's counting shots?

Speaker 14 Theoretically, I mean, look, you can get put on the clock.

Speaker 14 That happens in golf. I can't remember it happening here.
It did. But it's one of those things.
Like, you know, this annoys me when I watch basketball now. And I'm not rules McJohnny.

Speaker 14 Like, I don't care about a lot of stuff. But

Speaker 14 when you hand the ball to someone for the inbound, right? There's the officials always doing that like one, two. Like, you're supposed to count.

Speaker 14 count, or on the free throw, you're supposed to get 10 seconds. One, two, three.
No one counts. Like, no one ever counts.
And I'm thinking, well, if it's a rule, is it a rule or is it not a rule?

Speaker 14 Well, you kind of just don't know.

Speaker 14 Well, when it comes to people being on the clock, it's not like there's a big ass pitch clock, but there ought to be, because if there was, there would have been like somebody with a horn going, like you either have to putt or you're, we're going to, you get a one-stroke penalty.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
It was crazy.

Speaker 14 But, but so there is, yes, there is a clock in theory, but when you're on it, when you're not, it's more just sort of somebody kind of like, let's go,

Speaker 14 let's, let's get it moving kind of a thing. But I don't know.

Speaker 14 I don't think anyone was on the clock today. But God, if they were, it would have been

Speaker 14 a problem.

Speaker 3 Did you get a chance to catch up with Phil after the round? Because it seemed like Phil was in like alpha fill mode, grabbing people's asses, fig jam.

Speaker 3 Like he would, it was peak Phil that we saw. He was dressed in all black.
He had the frosted shades on. He looked like he was enjoying himself.
Yeah.

Speaker 14 My authoritative Cartman shades from like the,

Speaker 14 he was in full fill mode.

Speaker 14 We had a good talk on, I don't remember what day it was. We caught up and we're, it was, had nothing to do with anything, just life stuff.

Speaker 14 And, and, um, like, I kept, I kept looking at him like, when did you get so thin? It's nuts. Uh, but then, like, look, I'm gonna be honest.
The live guys had a good week. Kepka played well.

Speaker 14 Reed played well. Phil had the lowest round he's ever had in his life.
Um, but the Phil thing's totally out of left field. I mean, no one, it wasn't like

Speaker 14 anyone beforehand was like, hey, Phil,

Speaker 14 Phil future, take Phil top five. Like, no one was saying that to anyone.
So there's a certain amount of just people play well here. Fred Couples set a record, the oldest guy to make the cut.

Speaker 14 And Phil's one of those guys. I said to North afterwards, I think Phil will play well here forever.
He just has the kind of game that works. But I didn't see him when it was done.

Speaker 14 But he played an unbelievable round of golf. But unfortunately, like, no one anywhere close to the lead did anything.

Speaker 14 Like, Phil got to second for a time because everyone in the middle just kind of played like cheeks.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, it's true. All right, so speaking of old guys playing at Augusta, we had this debate before you came on.
Uh, can Tiger Woods ever win another Masters?

Speaker 14 It would take a lot, man.

Speaker 1 I mean, okay,

Speaker 14 it would, I mean, just it would take his body not betraying him, and it would take

Speaker 14 Scheffler, Rahm, Kepka, Thomas, Spieth, Cantley, Shaufley, Phil, if you want. I mean, it would just take everyone not playing as well as him.

Speaker 1 I mean, so

Speaker 14 I just, look, I mean, this is the obligatory, well, never count Tiger was out.

Speaker 1 That was what I took, yeah.

Speaker 14 And I get, and look, I mean, of course, look, he did it in 19, but that was before this awful car wreck.

Speaker 14 And it's just, I don't know, man, it just sucks seeing what happened at the PGA where he just kind of can't get around. And then here are the same deal.
So it just, it feels like that's probably done.

Speaker 3 Could he get the exemption, though, to use a cart?

Speaker 14 That's what everyone asked.

Speaker 14 He wouldn't do it, man. Yeah.
Like, it's just, that's a game of golf kind of thing. You just, you just wouldn't do it.
He's just too proud a dude to like, no.

Speaker 14 Here, no. Champions tour or whatever, and you can zip around in that? Sure, why not? But like here, no.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I would see that, Tyler, having too much pride. The other story from the weekend, the weather, the trees, the stoppage.

Speaker 1 How many guys are on the ground screw at Augusta? Because they're insane. They might be the best at what they do versus anyone else in the entire world, any profession.
Facts.

Speaker 14 100% facts. Like trees fell down and in a half an hour, it's like it never happened.
I have no idea.

Speaker 14 The thing about Augusta National is that they have on, they have a bottomless well of resources to just make things happen that don't make sense.

Speaker 14 Like, I mean, like the last year, if anyone watched the Par 3 contest, which is actually a lot of fun,

Speaker 14 you come back a year later and there was a brand new Par 3 course. They moved stuff all over the place.
There's

Speaker 14 cottages that weren't there. I mean, and this was like in six months.
I mean,

Speaker 14 it's not reasonable. You can't do that.
Well, they did. Right.
These trees fall down. And then like the next day, it's like probably new trees were there.
I don't know.

Speaker 14 Or if they they weren't, all the other ones were gone.

Speaker 14 It happened a few years ago, like one of the trees on Magnolia Lane was down. And then I think if I have it right, I swear the next day there was just a new one.

Speaker 14 Where do you get a new mature magnolia tree? Like, I got it as like I planted azaleas in my yard. They still have those shitty little yellow tags on them and won't grow.
Right. What am I doing wrong?

Speaker 14 You know what I need? I need the Augusta ground screw to come to my house and sort out my yard situation.

Speaker 14 But you're, I mean, we're kidding, but we're not. Like, they do stuff here that makes no logical sense.

Speaker 1 They're incredible. Like, just even seeing on Saturday, uh, the puddles and everything, all the water, it's like, oh, that'll be fine tomorrow.
Like, no problem. Yeah.

Speaker 14 And you come Sunday and the sun comes out and the wind starts blowing. And it's like yesterday didn't happen.

Speaker 14 I don't know. It's, there's a lot of magic that goes on here that's hard to kind of figure out.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 And how many lives were saved by the fact that you're not allowed to have a cell phone out there? So everybody.

Speaker 1 No joke.

Speaker 3 So the tree falls and nobody's looking at their phones. True.
They're like, whoa, that could have been a disaster.

Speaker 14 And we were on the air and like, we were, I mean, and obviously there's like feeds now. So it's obviously on the internet.

Speaker 14 But then in terms of the television broadcast, we were simply trying to make certain everyone was okay.

Speaker 14 And miraculously they were. And I think from one of the angles, I mean, I think two trees fell around a person.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 14 Which, how is that possible? And how did they not get smashed by a tree?

Speaker 14 Just thank God they weren't. But I mean, I was talking to a number of different players like Keith Mitchell.

Speaker 14 You should get him on. You'd love him.
Cashmere is an awesome dude.

Speaker 14 And he's on the 15th hole. And I mean, it's a delay.
And I text him. I said, Did you see that? He's like, my heart stopped because his family's out there and he's trying to figure out.

Speaker 14 Like, is everyone all right? And again, they were. If like Tigers group's there, or if there were cell phones, 100% people are really hurt bad or really or worse.

Speaker 14 And so, again, thank God that didn't happen. But I don't even know what, I don't know.
It wasn't that windy. I don't know what that was about, man.

Speaker 14 It was like something just came zipping through and all of a sudden trees fell over. That's never happened at the time I've ever been here.

Speaker 3 The Live Tour guys had their bone saw guys out there and just cut it down real quick.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 But seriously, shout out to Ground Screw. They deserve a big shout out for the entire weekend because it did feel on Sunday we were just watching what we always love,

Speaker 1 Sunday at the Masters, looked perfect.

Speaker 1 Other story I want to touch on real quick: how crazy is it that Sam Bennett finished top 10? Put that into perspective, amateur, like guys aren't supposed to do that.

Speaker 1 What they invite like four or five amateurs every year, they usually miss the cut. Like,

Speaker 1 when you're watching that, you're like,

Speaker 1 How is this kid hanging with the big dogs as long as he did?

Speaker 14 It was nuts. And I mean,

Speaker 14 does he, I said on the broadcast, like everyone just thinks he looks like Dabo, right?

Speaker 1 He looks like Dabo. He also kind of looks like Jay Buener, I feel like.

Speaker 14 Fair. Well, I think, is that the official Texas A ⁇ M beard? Like, it's like, it's like, or is it just like an SEC chin beard? Whatever it is.

Speaker 14 He came in the Butler cabin. It was really cool.
Like,

Speaker 14 I forget that, I mean, that's like a sacred place to go in this sport.

Speaker 14 And he's in there and he's like, he's told me, he said, I'm more nervous now sitting here with you than I was out there. And he was was playing with Schepler and

Speaker 14 the pervert.

Speaker 1 Mama Meat. Somebody gave a meatball.
Somebody gave him meatball.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we already told that person who shout out Spicy Meatball, they can come watch the masters with us every year because they're probably never allowed back at Augusta National.

Speaker 14 No, I think that's fine. But

Speaker 14 again, apologies for the Miss for he's obviously not a pervert.

Speaker 14 But

Speaker 14 he played alongside a top 10 player in Max and the reigning champion, and he was better than both of them for two days.

Speaker 14 But he did that thing, fellas, where he came into the press center and said that the course he played, the amateur on was harder than the Augustin Ashley.

Speaker 14 You know, you don't want to tempt the fate like that. Like DeCambo came in a couple of years ago and said par there for him was 67.

Speaker 14 And

Speaker 14 things haven't gone great for him since. There's just certain things that Augusta National, you figure out, right? That you just don't want to tempt, you don't want to tempt fate.

Speaker 14 You don't want to wag your finger at anybody. um

Speaker 14 and so bennett did that but i think it was totally harmless he wasn't like saying i'm i'm better than this but i think the kid came there thinking i might win he got back to butler cabin and he won the and he won low amateur which is awesome i mean it was an incredible story if you go down the list look at the how many different people he beat i mean that's an incredible accomplishment but um i and the and the number of times i've been there like amateurs that are like in the final group, like I can't remember any.

Speaker 14 So that was an incredible storyline for sure.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Scott, scott i'm curious to know as an augusta veteran what do you look forward to eating the most when you go back besides the big texas cinnamon roll when you're when you're out there on the course are you a pimino cheese guy no

Speaker 14 chicken salad on wheat chicken salad on wheat is is low-key

Speaker 14 high-key the go-to okay and the vets the vets know that um and so go chicken salad on the honey wheat uh they replaced the brioche this year which is kind of controversial and then people are like well it's the Masters.

Speaker 14 They probably figure it out. It's, that's the one you want.
That's the go-to.

Speaker 14 So I probably had, I don't know, not double digits, but a lot of those, including one like walking out of the media center, just like an absolute animal. I always just, I feel like

Speaker 14 you don't eat and then you're starving. And then through the years, whether it was with Rosillo or Stanford Steve, I've made it pretty clear.
It's not a treat to eat with me.

Speaker 14 And I just always look up and I feel like people are like, Jesus, look at this guy.

Speaker 14 Keep your poise, big boy.

Speaker 14 it's like chicken salad it's like yeah it's a bad scene but speaking of the big texas oh yeah one here let's get it moment moment of truth now this is a tradition unlike any other yeah oh no no are we out wait let's i got to turn it around right is it not there

Speaker 1 oh no someone ate it all look they ate all the big texas

Speaker 14 No, it's bad.

Speaker 1 I think that's

Speaker 14 what's in Miss. What's Mrs.
Freshley's Donut Sticks Glazed. We think that's, is that a move?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think that's the new one. Yeah.

Speaker 14 Wait, this is a true story. There was a guy that's out there working.
And first of all, it's just, it's awesome. People like Love Yon PMT, which is great.
AWL is out there all over the place.

Speaker 14 But there's one guy that was there working at Augusta National, literally comes over to me and is like, hey, you're going to get the big Texas tonight? I'm like, I hope so.

Speaker 14 And think how crusty he's going to be to find out that it's, that all there is is the Mrs. Freshleys.

Speaker 3 I'll bet Nance got there before you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hello, friends. Yeah, this is how we make new traditions.
So it's Mrs. Freshley's donuts.

Speaker 14 But wait, I want to be honest with you. Like, if we, and we talked about this, I feel like in years past.
I mean, it's a murderous row of treats. Like, there's everything else is just

Speaker 14 high-level. Like, not just Fritos, but chili cheese Fritos.
Oh, not just, not just Cheetos, cheddar jalapeno. Cheddar.

Speaker 1 That's good. It's good.

Speaker 14 Yeah, but there's no big Texas.

Speaker 1 And you know what?

Speaker 14 Again,

Speaker 14 your listeners are the best, as you know, but

Speaker 14 all year long, somebody will see it.

Speaker 14 How many times do you get a tweet where someone just sends you a picture of a Big Texas?

Speaker 1 It's great. It puts a smile on my mind.

Speaker 14 I mean, I know you guys are doing just fine, but I feel like Big Texas is missing massive opportunities to just send you them in bulk.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I mean, the problem is with Big Texas, it is the closest treat that you can have that will substitute for a meal in a pinch, but you basically have to call in sick the next day if you're eating a big Texas for dinner that night.

Speaker 14 There's a density that just is rare.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's the heaviest snack.

Speaker 3 Now, Scott, I want to give you the opportunity to clear something up because I saw somebody claim that when Kevin Na withdrew

Speaker 3 on Thursday, there's a co-worker that we have that bet on him.

Speaker 3 I heard a rumor that you were doing the gritty across the bridge there at Augusta because you were so happy that Kevin Nott withdrew from the tournament. Is that true? What?

Speaker 1 And that your head was spinning around? Yeah. Oh, wait.

Speaker 14 Now, is that Frank?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 14 We sorted this out with Frank. There was someone reached out.
There was a detente.

Speaker 1 No, I FaceTimed you. I FaceTimed you with Frank and you guys hashed it out.
And then, unfortunately, you broke the detente and started celebrating on camera when Justin Verlander got hurt.

Speaker 3 Your head was spinning, Scott. We all saw it.

Speaker 14 Here's what I'm going to do. Here's what I'm going to do for Frank.
I'm just going to embrace the heel thing. Yeah.
And I'll just, I'm going to openly root against. No, you know why I can't do that?

Speaker 1 You know why I can't do that?

Speaker 14 Because I don't do it. And all people do is fire at me and say that my head's spinning.
Why do you, are you proud? Are you happy now? And so I can't win.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I can't.

Speaker 3 Can I give you some advice?

Speaker 3 Here's, I think, how you should play it.

Speaker 3 Because

Speaker 3 you're in a battle right now with an unbeatable foe.

Speaker 3 Correct. You just have to completely ignore all of it.

Speaker 14 I mostly do.

Speaker 14 And then people took me seriously when I was like, you can't talk about my kids.

Speaker 1 I knew you were.

Speaker 14 And then people are like, and it's the, you know what it is? It's the Rosillo. Rosillo is the best at the joke that somehow people don't understand it's a joke.
And then he just ignores it.

Speaker 14 That's his favorite. His favorite is when he can drop something, and then people react to it, and he just walks away like, see what I did?

Speaker 1 Yeah, not me.

Speaker 14 But I'm dealing with

Speaker 14 Frank and all of the people that love, and everyone loves Frank. I'm team Frank.
I don't dislike the Mets. My head's not spinning.
I don't celebrate anyone's injury.

Speaker 14 It doesn't matter because Frank's going to blame me, and I'm fine.

Speaker 14 I'm happy to be the person Frank blames, but there's no winning either way. So we'll just have to just ignore it and hope it goes away.

Speaker 1 The good news is Buster Olney is still number one on the list. And the best Frank's story is that he started ranting to me one day.

Speaker 1 He always says, Buster Olney is just reporting about the Mets and he's smiling. And I was like, what are you talking about? And then I went and looked.

Speaker 1 And in Buster Olney's Twitter avatar, he's actually smiling. So Frank was like,

Speaker 1 he's smiling every time he tweets about the Mets. I was like, well, that's his Twitter avatar.

Speaker 14 But here's the thing. This is a secret.

Speaker 14 This is breaking news. Buster hates the Mets.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes. All right, well, Scott.

Speaker 5 Wait, wait, wait. This is even, this is...

Speaker 14 Buster hates Frank.

Speaker 14 He doesn't hate Frank.

Speaker 14 He hates neither Frank nor the Mets. But I said it, and I'm sure you can edit it in a way that

Speaker 14 fucking voodoo dolls of me now.

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 14 I had the stupidity to make the joke. It's just a joke.

Speaker 1 All right. So, Scott, I know you got to go.
Last question.

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Speaker 1 How much of your personal wealth have you paid to get Hunter Dickinson to Maryland?

Speaker 14 We just need to know the number. What's the number and we'll figure it out?

Speaker 1 Listen.

Speaker 14 And here's the thing. If that happens, I will be the greatest hypocrite of all time because he was the number one heel in the conference.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 14 He hated Maryland. He made it his personal mission to troll Maryland at every turn.
And then

Speaker 14 if he comes there, then everyone's like, oh, that's awesome. Let's go, go Terps, go Henry Dickinson.

Speaker 14 So we're just, we just need to know what the number is, you know, but he could be trolling us now and go someplace else.

Speaker 14 And then, you know, that that's that's kind of, I think in every Maryland fan's back of their mind, they're like, is he really maybe going to do this or is this all just an incredibly elaborate ruse?

Speaker 14 I guess we'll find out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you guys will be very hateable because I don't hate Maryland, but if Hunter Dickinson's on there, and he knows how I feel because he does the same to Wisconsin. So get ready for that.

Speaker 1 But you'll be fine with it.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, Scott.
Thank you as always. You are the best.
We appreciate it. And hopefully you get home safe and have fun with the Mrs.
Daisy's doughnuts.

Speaker 14 Yeah, I'm just,

Speaker 14 I'm going to make a decision here. I might go fruitables.
maybe fun funnibles fruity snacks. I might that's a total departure.

Speaker 14 All right, boys, be good. I appreciate you and

Speaker 14 Buster. Buster doesn't hate the meds.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we cut that part.

Speaker 1 Okay.

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Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Hank, I feel like this has been a

Speaker 1 a tumultuous re-entry. I'm happy you're back.

Speaker 3 I hope you get this. I actually am rooting for you in this specific Let's Go, Hank.

Speaker 1 Because, you know, it's kind of like

Speaker 1 you don't see someone for a little while, long time, and then you see them again. And it's like, what do we, how do we converse? How do we, but we're back.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Let's go.
You called me fat. That was when I knew I was like, my guy's back.

Speaker 1 You literally asked for it. Yeah, yeah.
No, I did. I wanted it.
Give me more. But now you're mad.
Nope.

Speaker 1 No, I want more.

Speaker 1 I think it's funny when you guys roast us and Harry Potter because we don't understand it.

Speaker 3 No idea.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 people will love that portion of the show.

Speaker 1 So, Hank, have you ever gotten this? Nope. Have you ever gotten it? Nope.

Speaker 1 How many people in San Diego asked you? Not as many. Not as many as you can.
Oh, those are your people. Yeah.
Those are your people.

Speaker 3 Okay. We did make a bet, though.

Speaker 1 Yeah, should we say that? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Hank, what did you agree to if you don't get the lottery ball before the end of next football season?

Speaker 1 I will get a tattoo of the lottery ball machine, but if I pass you in total victories by the end of next football season, you will get a lottery ball machine.

Speaker 3 Yeah, first you have to win one. Trans stamp.

Speaker 1 You do. Yeah.
That's an extra.

Speaker 3 Jake, how many do I have?

Speaker 1 Four? PFT has four.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Whoa. So that's a lot.

Speaker 3 Okay, it's a deal, Hank.

Speaker 1 You got this, Hank. I'm rooting for you.

Speaker 1 So if Hank gets it once?

Speaker 1 No bet. No, no bet.
Or if I get, even if, what's four? What if I tie you? I think he has to pass. I think he has to get four.
Well, PFT could also get it. No,

Speaker 1 say four.

Speaker 3 No, no, it's a head-to-head.

Speaker 1 But what if we tie?

Speaker 3 I think he should get the tie.

Speaker 1 Four's a lot. If you tie it.
And you can keep getting it. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 If you tie it anyway, yeah, I mean, I'm going to get it at least three more times.

Speaker 1 Right, if you tie it any number.

Speaker 3 It's very easy to get this.

Speaker 8 Is it Super Bowl Sunday or regular season?

Speaker 1 Super Bowl Sunday. Super Bowl Sunday.

Speaker 1 And a tie goes to Hank. Okay.
That's fair. Yeah.
Deal. Okay.
Have you ever gotten this? Nope, 90%.

Speaker 3 Chase me down. Oh, that was a false start.

Speaker 1 No. Oh, no, Hank.
False start off the bat.

Speaker 1 You never know with him.

Speaker 3 No, he didn't.

Speaker 1 I think he might have.

Speaker 3 No, he didn't do that on purpose.

Speaker 1 Numbers. Six and

Speaker 3 I'm going to go with 96.

Speaker 1 18. I'll go 17.

Speaker 1 98.

Speaker 1 20.

Speaker 3 96. This would be great.

Speaker 1 41.

Speaker 1 is that your second number, Hank. Nope.

Speaker 1 Is it your third? Nope. Fourth? Nope.
Fifth? Nope. Six.
I don't know.

Speaker 3 Love you guys.

Speaker 6 The Easter bunny has actually nothing to do with Christianity and was a pre-Christian pagan symbol.

Speaker 1 Do I do one more? Yeah, let's do one more. Please, man.

Speaker 1 This counts.

Speaker 1 17.

Speaker 1 96.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 I'm gonna go.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna go 98.

Speaker 1 This counts, Jake. Official.
18.

Speaker 1 But would it, would you? Well, there's one less ball. Would you want to win this?

Speaker 1 No. 77.

Speaker 3 That was yesterday. That was Friday's show.

Speaker 1 Yeah, damn. And back-to-back shows.

Speaker 3 77.

Speaker 6 Are we sure 69 is still in there?

Speaker 1 Yes, Billy. 69's still in there.

Speaker 1 Shall I

Speaker 1 be coming for your love of king? Shall I

Speaker 1 be coming for your love of king? Feedless to say.

Speaker 1 Say it. I'll be so let away.

Speaker 1 Tell him I can't.

Speaker 1 Stay after me.

Speaker 1 Except that you can save this home. Stay after me.

Speaker 1 Except that you'll be safe and suffering.

Speaker 1 Just like a burning way.

Speaker 1 You all think I've been under. You're shy and away.

Speaker 1 Love can be anyway. You're shy and away.

Speaker 1 Love can be anyway.

Speaker 1 Save all the

Speaker 1 love.

Speaker 1 your

Speaker 1 way.