Scott Van Pelt, Jon Rahm Wins The Masters, NBA Regular Season Ends + UFC

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On today's Pardon My Take, the Masters. We talk about a weekend of golf, Jon Rahm's incredible Sunday, Sad Brooks' last round.
We're going to get into all of it. NBA seedings have finally happened.
The regular season is officially over. Talk a little bit about that.
Playing games coming up. We had UFC.
We had a ton of stuff. It was a crazy sports weekend.
Odell Beckham. Odell Beckham.
Yeah, that's it right there. Odell Beckham, a bunch of guys in the NBA got in fights on the last Sunday of the regular season.
So a lot of sports to get into. And we have our good friend, Scott Van Pelt, a tradition unlike any other Scott Van Pelt, zooming in from the airport after the Masters right before he eats a...
A big Texan cinnamon roll. Yeah, big Texas toast or whatever it's called.
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Great time of year for sports fans. Okay, let's go.
Boys! Boys! Now in the street there is violence And I'm allowed to solve the work to be done No place to hang out or wash in And I can't blame all of the sun Oh Welcome to Pardon My Take, presented by Barstool Sports. Holy shit Was that too loud? That was way too loud That scared me dude I thought Max was saying fuck because he forgot to record something That was Jake That was Jake saying fuck Because he had to say it That sounded like a Max Oh my god Are we able to turn that down or are people going to shit themselves in the morning? That was our darling Jake Fulfilling a promise because crazy uh greenie was rooting all in for john ron everything he's got everything he's got which is which is a lot and so so our darling jake to combat that said that he would say the f-bomb if uh if john ron won and john ron won and john ron was fantastic he was exceptional It's hard to root for a guy like that.

I did, again, I think it may be, I might have to go to rehab or something. The Brian Windhorst LeBron tweet.
I was just thinking every time he hit it off the tee, and he is so strong because he is, it's like a shotgun goes off when he hits off the tee. He's so good.
He's so good. When he's dialed in, I would say that he's like, he becomes an assassin when he locks in.
Well. Oh, so I went and looked up some fun Jon Rahm stats because we obviously have known about him.
He's won a major before. He's like, I don't know, is he number two? I think he might be two behind Scotty Scheffler.
Yeah, I think Scheffler's won Rahm's two. But Rahm was playing.
He didn't play like his best golf leading in this tournament, but he was still only plus 900 to win. Yeah, he's got the notebook in his back pocket that says rombo which just rules yeah big ass yeah big huge huge dude the dude has an ass that won't quit so he has a mental coach yeah and his mental coach used to be a bomb disposal expert yeah that is the like coolest thing you could ever do is find a mental coach and not be like oh this, this is my favorite.
No, this is a guy who was basically Jeremy Renner in Hurt Locker, and he tells you how to be calm when you're coming up the back nine at the Masters trying to put the green jacket on once and for all. Joseba Del Carmen is the dude's name.
And so apparently when they started working together, Rahm wanted to fix his temper because he has all these outbursts or he used to have these outbursts on the course and the bomb disposal guy was like let's just not talk about golf let's just talk about your normal temper and then hopefully that will carry over onto the golf course that's genius though having having like a bomb disposal that's probably the best person in the world to talk to about remaining calm yes it would i mean he's Rahm is a guy that everyone should want to root for because he seems like a very cool guy, calm guy because of the bomb disposal guy. Also, fun fact about John Rahm, his swing is the shortest on the PGA Tour because he was born with a disfigured foot, and one of his legs is shorter than the other.
That's interesting. So he doesn't have ankle strength, and he's shortened his swing for it.
Does that give him a better approach? I don't know, but I feel like this is now going to be a fad where the Hanks of the world start shortening one of their legs to get the Jon Rahm swing. Tiger almost did that unintentionally.
Well, should we talk about Tiger real quick? Well, let's give Jon Rahm his flowers. Jon Rahm deserves all the flowers.
He was phenomenal was phenomenal he shot second best golfer in the history of arizona state yes i'm phil mickelson yes so tim mickelson is his brother was john rom's coach yes college coach and first agent another fun fact about john rom you know he learned how to speak english uh he he said he dispelled this little bit yes by by listening to m&m yeah by learning m& songs. So that probably led to him having to get somebody who's like a bomb disposal technician to teach him how to keep his temper quiet.
Yeah. I read an article that was basically like, Jon Rahm, the media ran with it after his first win in like 2017.
He's like, well, not really. That's not really how I did it.
But that's how I'd listen to some. No, the other part was Tim Mickelsonkelson phil's brother coach used to make john romm and one of the other teammates who both were uh spanish speaking uh do 10 burpees every time they said a word in spanish which seems seems like the athletics gonna write a takedown piece on that retroactively yeah but it worked beat it beat it out yeah right so yeah john romm phenomenal phenomenal uh sunday it was his dad 30 holes It was his dad passed away, I think't know.
But it worked. Beat it out of him.
Yeah, right. So, yeah, Jon Rahm, phenomenal, phenomenal Sunday.
It was his dad's birthday. 30 holes.
His dad passed away, I think, but it was his dad's birthday today. Okay.
And there are certain things that we should be informed of before tournaments start so that we can figure out who's going to be the team of destiny or the golfer of destiny. Knowing that it was going to be his father's birthday on Sunday, I would have liked to have known that.
Also, I I would have liked to known the fact that his caddy got that number. I think he was number 49.
It's 4-9 today. Yep.
That's another fun fact that Jim Nance brought up several times, how that ties in with his dad. And also, he just had a kid.
So he's got two kids now, one of which is less than a year old. Another thing I would have liked to known about before i decided who to bet on because it's always a golfer with an infant that wins at the master yes yes and it's uh it also is the 40 year anniversary of seve balesteros winning the master would have liked to known that uh fellow spaniards spain kind of a dynasty in masters now i think they have six yeah so most masters they are they're running rough shot on everyone else agatha agatha uh but yeah it was john rom was phenomenal 30 holes because of the weather on sunday and he was just like unflappable because obviously we'll get to the part where we were rooting for brooks we bet on brooks we also wanted brooks to win because he's a friend and uh john rom just gave him no like brooks played bad Brooks choked a lot of I don't want I'm gonna say Patrick Cantley really chokes Patrick Cantley played slower than anyone's ever played in the entire history of golf and Brooks is a tempo guy he's a tempo guy yeah there was actually a moment where Victor Hovland was already walking up the fairway because like I can't wait for Patrick Cantley anymore he was playing playing with Patrick Cantley.
Yeah. Pretty sure you're not supposed to do that.
So Brooks, tough Sunday. Everyone will make the joke, the Liv joke, 54 holes.
Liv actually had a great showing because I think what they have tied, they had Phil and Brooks tied for second. Patrick Reed was top five.
You made a little run later. Was there someone else who was top five from believe so.
Either way, the live, the live showed out, live showed out, but Brooks. So some may call it a choke.
Others like us will say there was a divine intervention at play. I alluded to this on Twitter, but we had maybe the greatest jinx of all time by someone in this room.
Well, yeah, there was that. Does someone want to fess up? Because people, when I tweeted one of the greatest jinxes of all time happened on the PMT group chat on Saturday, most of the replies were saying it's Max or it was Billy or God damn it, Jake.
Why would you say that? Who would like to stand up and put their hand up as the person who did this? You know what, Big Cat? I'd like to be the bigger man in this situation and say that I played a part in it. Okay, no, you didn't.
I played a part in it. No, no, who did it? I'd like to just take some responsibility for it, and then we'll see if anybody – No, no, no.
Okay, yeah, yeah. Hey, go ahead.
Go ahead. Who did it? No, good point, Hank.
All right, I'll just read the text. This is on Saturday after they suspended play for the day.
I just hope I get a second to explain myself after. Oh, are you admitting it was you? Oh, for those of you who are the person, yeah.
If you just started to listen to part of my take in the last two weeks and you might not recognize that voice, that's Hank Lockwood back from his vacation. Yes.
Someone hurt both of you on vacations when you were kids, and I'm going to get to the bottom of it because I feel bad. There's something that scars you guys just when the V word comes up.
No, we just got to keep the lights on here. We're just grinding.
I was gone too. I don't know why all the attention is going ahead.
We're grinding grinders. Well, you were still bringing Passover.
It was religious and serving. I'll say this.
If you had jinxed Brooks the way Hank did, I'd be equally as mad at you for your vacation. This is dramatic.
Dramatic? You said traumatic. It was traumatic.
It is traumatic. Your brain wasn't on again.
You showed up and you hadn't turned your brain back on. You were in sleep mode.
Hank texted this after the play was suspended on Saturday. Brooks had a four-stroke lead.
He said, the question is, would Brooks come on sunday or would it be more likely he come on tuesday if it gets delayed and they have to finish monday pretty presumptuous of you pretty presumptuous you basically had had already you crowned him yeah you know he had he had tailored his green jacket he was like well this is set perfect we got our guest monday brooks is on. Hank was like, do you think all the other live golfers that greeted Brooks on the 18th green to celebrate his green jacket, you think they'd all want to come on? Thoughts? I think it's dramatic.
Listen, I made a mistake. I was probably thinking a little bit too far ahead of myself.
You think? But one, we were talking about Mursh. So we were planning shirts for if he won.
Shirts my head no shirts i understand it's understandable but i'm just if again if you let me okay go ahead speak without interruption to be nice but don't don't don't don't confuse the listeners with shirts because merch i'm trying to explain myself we have to have a shirt we have to have a shirt ready to go if brooks had won because we can't come up with a shirt in five seconds. No shit.
We all had to do shirts before. You are proving my point.
But don't muddy the waters. I'm just explaining myself.
Keep them separate. No, it's the same.
No, they're not. Because I was going through the process of thinking of shirts, thinking of ideas of if he won.
So I was thinking of him winning. So, yes, that was the headset mind space I was in.
And then I did. I oh yeah because we in in that conversation it was like these are you know different options for if you win so i was like oh he's gonna win and i was like oh i wonder when he would come on the rain stops i was like he probably wouldn't come on sunday because the masters is a lot coming on if you were to no no you said do you think he'd want to come on on myself all right just forget it all right fine i'm sorry no'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I fucked up.
I'm the reason Brooks blew it. He had a bad Sunday.
It's all my fault. Sorry you lost your bed, big cat.
I'm so happy to be back. Excuse me, Hank.
I'm also in this room. Oh, sorry.
No, keep going. That doesn't sound like you're sorry.
We're just correcting things that you're deliberately getting wrong because it wasn't, you weren't saying, oh, he might, like, we got to see. I was explaining my headspace.
I wasn't saying what I said. No, it's fine.
I fucked up. I'm sorry.
No, no, keep going with your headspace. I thought Brooks was going to win.
I made a mistake. I sent a wrong text message.
Jinxed the whole thing. It's all my fault.
What about the fact that you also don't believe weather's real and then weather reared its ugly head on Saturday? Golfers are pussies. They should have just played through.
Well, I agree with that. I think that big weather

had a part in this. If they didn't have fake trees, it wouldn't have been a problem.

Yeah, so here's the thing.

Is big weather wanted

where, might you ask Brian Windhorst

face, where is the weather channel

located? Huh, it's right outside

Augusta. Huh.
Do you think that maybe they

wanted more ratings on the weather channel? Oh, what

would do that? Maybe a big storm coming through Augusta, potentially suspending play. Just something to think about.
I think the trees are rigged to fall. Control demolition.
Hank, I am... That one guy who, like, I know that you could I guess die, but, like, dude, you could sue them forever.
I'd basically be like, I'm in the tournament every year. Those are my offers.
Oh, yeah. No, as far as hitting the jackpot goes in terms of lawsuits, having a tree hit you at Augusta, that's the dream.
Yes. Hank, I accept your apology, and I also would like to say, if Brooks had played well on Sunday and lost by a stroke, I would have put all the blame on you.
He didn't. He did not play well.
That's the matter of the fact here. He didn't play well.
So it can't be – a text can't have caused what happened. Okay.
But you did have a part. A small part.
Yep. Everything turned.
Everything turned. Everything turned for Brooks.
Literally from that moment on. Now, shout out Brooks.
He did play. He played really well Thursday, Friday, and Saturday before Hank texted us.
Yeah, that's true. He was awesome.
I mean, he was on fire. We were designing shirts.
Yeah, we were designing shirts. We were ready to crowd them.
Which we have to do. Yeah.
Yeah. Trying to make money for the company here.
Yeah, Brooks did not play well down the stretch. That sucked.
We wanted him to win. It would have been cool, especially like just the idea of Brooks not playing in the PGA Tour, but just showing up and ripping off one or two majors a year would be awesome.
Yeah, in fact, if he had won this and then, you know, he seems like he's back, like Brooks is back to playing old school Brooks golf until Sunday happened. As long as Hank doesn't send any more texts.
As long as Hank keeps his name out of his lips. It would be very funny to have Brooks making $100 million to play in tournaments he doesn't give a shit about.
Yeah. And then showing up and still dominating the rest of, like, the PGA.
Yeah. When it came to the majors.
But he played well for the most part before the weather delay. And then the course just didn't agree with his game.
He was also fucking up his tee shots. His first tee shot in his last round today, that's when it was over.
When he found himself hitting out of the wrong fairway on the first hole, that's my move, Brooks. I'm an expert at doing that.
I hit 70% of my second shots out of the wrong fairway. You just hit up the other fairway, perfect spot yeah rom did that on on the last i've never seen i've never seen a player take a provisional on the 18th hole of the master i didn't think that that was a thing that you could do yeah but yeah he just said yeah i'll take a provisional and then he played a second one out of the fairway um but then he found his original one no he played second one out of the other fairway yeah the wrong he found his original ball.
No, that's the shot that he hit, I think. Oh, okay, yeah.
And then he just picked up his provision. Got it.
Jordan Spieth. Shout out Jordan Spieth because he's quickly becoming like the Jameis Winston of the PGA Tour.
He had 21 birdies, which is the most in the field, 10 bogeys, and two doubles. So he was just like all over the map.
Yeah. At one point, he was like hitting out of a tree yeah he had a scintillating uh round four 66 like a lot of guys actually like it was 66 and he lost his match yeah and john john rom like credit to john rom he because any other like if you look at how some of these guys played on sunday it could have very well been a playoff situation with some of these guys.
Phil played incredible. Phil shot a 65 on Sunday.
Yeah, Phil was locked in. Phil, on Saturday when he came out rocking the all-black with the black gloves looking like a hitman, I knew that he was about to do something special.
Also, shout out Siwoo Kim for wearing the shirt that just said PGA Tour all over it in different fonts, and he was playing with Phil on Saturday. Yeah, and to Patrick Reed for wearing his other jersey.
He was wearing the Aces jersey. Yes, yes.
He was wearing a pink Aces shirt and then a black Aces hat. The rivalry, I would have just loved to see a live player win the Masters just for the chaos that would have happened afterwards.
It was still a great tournament just I mean it was weird because the weather Saturday afternoon having that like your plans kind of ruined uh that sucked but having 30 holes on Sunday to watch and I wish it was a little tighter I wish we had had a little more like Brooks had had stepped up a little more and had been back and forth because it did feel as soon as Jon Rahm uh took the lead, it was like, he's not giving this up. They were out to get Brooks.
Because what better way to stop a player who doesn't really like to play golf than to make them play 30 holes of golf in one day. And behind Patrick Cantlin.
And behind Patrick. More like Patrick can't play fast.
Yeah. There we go.
That guy sucks. Did he say that? No, I'm sure he did.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. To himself.
I'm sure Rick Riley will come out with that. Put a clock on it.
Within 30 hours, Rick Riley will say Patrick can't play. It was bad, though.
It was bad watching. I think the quote, Brooks was asked afterwards, because you could just tell he was so pissed.
He said, the group in front of us was brutally slow. John went to the bathroom seven times today, and we were still waiting.
So, yeah. So, John Rahm just.
John Rahm pissed off. Well, no.
I think what Jon Rahm did, which is very relatable, is like when your food's taking forever and you're like, I'm just going to go to the bathroom and hope my food's here when I get back. Yeah.
He just kept on going to the bathroom, didn't have to go, but was like, well, when I get back, we'll be ready to play. Also, that guy who takes the really, really quick piss break when you're out on the course, respect to that guy.
I think that was max with us i think max max might have put his dick out and taken a leak on the course on the first tee box what what are you talking about not play not homa no no but did we play was there a video of it oh no not of that one oh not that one all right there will be though there well he did have the camera out there that's true also i went to take a piss at a tree, and Jake was like, whoa, you're too close, and wouldn't play swords with me, and then, like, tucked his dick in and walked away. All right, dude.
But, yeah, go ahead. Unexpected shout-out to the birds, to the eagles.
In Jon Rahm's green jacket ceremony, he said that Zach Ertz texted him before the first hole and said, like, this green's looking wide open. First hole's looking wide open.
So he goes out there and he double eagles it out of massive respect for the birds. And that right there tells you that the bomb.
Excuse me, double bogeys it. Double bogeys.
That bomb detector's doing a great job because anyone else, and really just I'm saying anyone who's not a professional golfer, which this isn't rocket but if you double bogey your first hole it's over for the rest of the week yeah at that point you're like i'm gonna get drunk yeah even if i get close i'll be thinking about the double bogey at the first yeah so john rom phenomenal i i've loved john rom since i first set eyes on him and when i first set eyes on him was 2018 when we went to the u.s open he i think he he might have been staying near where we were staying, and I saw him in the tiniest Porsche ever, and he does not fit in a Porsche. And I was like, I respect this guy because he basically was like, when I make it, I'm going to buy a Porsche, even though those aren't made for guys my size.
He just squeezed in. He looks so uncomfortable in the Porsche.
Him in a Porsche is like him in that tiny hat that he has yeah and it's not really a tiny hat he's just got a massive head he's a huge dude just big head big guy he's more of a hoss than Scotty Scheffler is yeah no he's country strong he's yeah yeah no he is which country whatever country you want the Basque region yeah he is definitely country strong yeah he's got a little Adam Dunn to him. Big donkey.
Yeah.

Oburo.

They should call him Oburo.

He does.

That's a good nickname for the donkey.

He's got that frame where you're just like, again, if you close your eyes when he's hitting

off the tee, it's like a shotgun blast.

Yeah.

It's incredible to watch.

John Rahm, once Brooks hit that opening tee shot of his last round into the wrong fairway,

you just knew that John Rahm, he's not a guy that's going to fuck it up. No, Brooks didn't play well.
And I know there's a lot of people who are rooting against Brooks. They had a fantastic Sunday.
Yep. Because if you don't like Brooks, and I'm not going to sit here and try to change your opinion, watching him slowly let the lead leak and then just have Jon Rahm completely stranglehold on it, that must have been very fun.
Yeah. You must have had a great fucking time because Brooks didn't play well, and it sucked.
That's the part that sucks the most. If Jon Rahm went out and shot like a 64 and Brooks did well, you'd be like, okay, well, Jon Rahm was just phenomenal.
It did feel like Brooks left a few out there. It's like, fuck.
He needed one bounce to kind of get the momentum going, and it felt like the momentum just never started going his way there were like five different greens that he hit and his shot lands and you're like oh that's a good shot by brooks and then those fucking undulations at augusta i know and shout out to jim nance by the way because jim nance he has been going to this tournament for what feels like 300 years and watching it the second a ball lands jim nance will be like oh going to be bad. Even if it lands like five feet from the pen.
Yeah. And then slowly but surely the ball rolls back.
They pull a hank and it goes in the fairway. Did you see Jim Nance had like the perfect delivery of a live joke? Oh, yeah.
He crushed it. Brooks hit one and it went in the crosswalk.
And he's like, there's Brooks Koepka on the CW, the crosswalk. And I was like, damn, Jim, you still got it, bro.
That's as close as Jim will ever get to nuking you on a show. But that was a nuke bomb.
It was a nuke bomb. There was a little bit of bittersweet revenge that Hank did have against our friend Max Homa because Max Homa, in the now infamous viral clip where Hank chipped up and then had the ball roll back to his feet in PGA Tour 2K23 like five times in a row.
And Max was like, yeah, I showed this to all the boys on tour. We call it a Hank now.
He actually had a Hank. Maybe even on the same hole, Hank.
Did you see that? It was on the same hole. And listen, he's the one that called it a Hank.
He exacted revenge on himself. He cursed himself.
I didn't say that.

I had a bad PGA tour clip.

It's a real shame that he was making fun of me by calling it a Hank,

and then the same thing happened to him.

I wish it didn't happen.

I noticed you deleted your tweet.

Well, I wrote the wrong.

I meant to write bite.

I wrote cut.

Yeah.

So that was just like vacation tweets don't matter.

Oh, so you could edit that with Twitter blue. Yes.
Oh, fuck you see the stats by the way behind it? When did you buy Twitter blue? Was it after the April 1st? No, it was like the day before they threatened to take it away. They did the stats and there was like 73 people bought it after the deadline.
Yeah. Like of all the blue check.
I was like, God damn it. I hope that uh yeah max uh shout out the awl who's who yelled out that's a spicy meatball yeah uh you're welcome to come watch the masters with us now that you've been kicked out of augusta forever maybe uh so i do like saying that's a spice spice the umbrellas might have helped yeah you can't harder to find harder to find but uh let's not talk about Max because he didn't play well.
And I don't. Max needs to finish like top 10 for me to make fun of him.
Like it just didn't go his way in a bad way. Spin zone.
He didn't have his A game. He didn't have his best stuff.
Or his B. And he made the cut at Augusta.
Or his D. Even though he wasn't playing very well.
That's hard to do. His F plus game.
Tiger. Tiger made the cut.
His best finish at the Masters. Now people are up in arms about Tiger Woods.
Hold on. It was progress.
What did he finish? Tied for 43rd. That was his best? I'm not going to make fun of Max.
I don't want to do this. 2021 cut.
2022 tied for 48th. 2023 tied for 43rd.
Okay, so like in 2055, we're going to get to the top five. Yeah.
Okay. All right.
He's going to win soon. You got this, Max.
Yeah. Tiger.
Tiger made the cut, and then people got pissed off at him because he withdrew. Many people are saying Tiger shouldn't be playing in the Masters anymore.
But if you make the cut in the Masters, you should be – Who's saying he shouldn't play in the Masters? A lot of people are pissed off about him. They're saying that he's ruining his legacy by taking his spot in the third and fourth round from players that could have made the cut if he weren't there that would have actually finished the tournament.
To them, I say, Hardy, fuck you. You've got a big dump in your pants if you don't want to see Tiger Woods playing in the Masters.
So, I wouldn't say this, but some people online would say this, cynics, let's call them, that Tiger's injury did seem to come on like a wave as soon as he started playing bad. I wouldn't say that.
I would also not say that. Because I'm a huge Charlie Woods guy.
Yeah. So I would not say that, but I read that, and I was like, hmm, something to think about.
Maybe I'll bring it up on the show. Well, you know, Tiger, he hates bogeys so much.
That's like he absolutely can't stand bogeys. He would love to finish a round if it was just like straight pars and shoot even par.
There was that old story when he played the best tournament maybe of all time in the U.S. Open at Pebble Beach where he beat the field by like a record amount.
He had, I think the lowest four day total in the history of a major championship. And on the 18th hole on the last day, he scrambled to make his bogey or excuse me, to make his par instead of hitting a bogey.
And he celebrated and everybody was like, look how happy he is to win the U S open. And he was like, no, I mean, I knew that I was going to win the U S open.
I was just trying not to make a bogey because i can't fucking stand bogeys yeah so if you can't if you hate bogeys and you're out there and you're playing like shit in third round it's probably like a little bit mental that you're like oh yeah my body does my leg hurts my leg hurts that must be why i'm making these bogeys so i'm out i just love it's it's really only tiger there's not many i guess there's there's a bunch of sappy people and golf writers and everything online. But Tiger elicits something out of these writers that you just don't really see with anyone else.
Where they just get so serious and romanticize everything. This one was.
I screenshot it because I laughed out loud when I saw it. This is from Ryan Burr.
Who I think covers golf. He said, the ultimate warrior.
The National, notice he didn't say Augusta National. He said, the National is a tough walk for anyone.
Throw in the wet and cold. I was hoping the cut would stay at plus two.
Not because I didn't want Tiger Woods to make the cut, but because the pain it would cause if he had to play on this guy just chill out dude like tiger tiger's gonna be fine yeah he's gonna keep playing the masters he might win another one he's gonna play his select tournaments every year i don't think tiger's gonna win another masters we all said that before 2019 too i would i will you know what i'll drive my car into a ravine on purpose okay Okay. If Tiger Woods wins another Masters.
Listen, I would not, he's the one guy I wouldn't count out for anything just because he's Tiger Woods. Obviously, the odds are against him, severely against him.
But again, before 2019, everyone thought he wasn't going to win another Masters. Yeah.
I feel like that was the end of the line for him. Where that was the where it's like oh holy shit tiger did it but before that people were like no there's no chance yeah i'm gonna go ahead and say there's no chance that tiger wins another masters i will be a tiger believer i mean i'm gonna root for him even if it means i have to drive into a wall like you're not no i'll take that for the team if it's about listen if it means that tiger wins on their masters i will i will drive off a cliff hank, when you got up to take a Jon Ron P, we were saying that some people online were saying that Tiger started getting more injured as his play got bad.
We wouldn't say that. Did you see anyone saying that? I did not.
Oh, okay, good. All right, good.
So you don't have any haters on your timeline or anyone talking about it that way. Yeah, I mean, it was slippery out there.
Right. It's hard to walk.
Right, right. He's got a bad back.
Yeah, he was walking, and then all of a sudden he wasn't walking. I mean, the clip of him trying to get the ball out of the hole was tough.
The clip of him just walking down the hill was tough. I didn't say this.
I'm saying some other people were saying.

Even in the first and second rounds when he was hitting shots,

he would pick his leg up after.

I think he was hurt the entire time.

I would never say that.

He got more hurt, though, as it went on.

Yeah.

It's a lot of walking.

It's a lot of walking.

I mean, do you want me to read the tweet again?

The ultimate warning.

How long do you think it would take you, Big Cat,

to play 18 holes at Augusta if you had to walk

and also count every single shot that you were hitting?

I thought to myself probably about 13 hours.

Good night. at to play 18 holes at Augusta if you had to walk and also count every single shot that you were hitting.
I thought to myself probably about 13 hours because think about how fucked up those greens are. I was thinking about this hypothetical.
We should try and join Augusta. I was thinking about that.
We should. I would do it.
Why haven't we just applied? I don't know. That's what I kind of popped it in my mind.
Hit him up. Let's apply.
I had the thought, why doesn't everybody just play Augusta all the time and get really, really good for the Masters, and it turns out it's super private and you can't get it. Yeah.
I was like, foil. Why don't they just play it a thousand times and get really good at it for the Masters? It turns out you can't.
It's a good strategy, though, that you had. Do you think? That's why Freddie Couples is in contention, it seems like, every year in the first two rounds.

Freddie Couples, by the way, the ultimate flex, playing with a crew neck sweatshirt.

And a yellow golf ball.

And the Dayglo yellow golf ball, which is such an old man thing to do.

But Freddie Couples, I feel like everyone's always surprised in major tournaments when

on the first day, Freddie Couples is like, he shoots like minus one.

He does it in Augusta every year.

Everyone's like, what the...

It's because the man has played Augusta for 40 years. Boom, boom.
And knows every single hill. Oldest guy to make the cut.
Shout out to Freddie Couples. Absolute legend.
I was going to throw out this hypothetical. If you had a superpower that the minute your ball gets on the green, every putt you ever make will go in.
So you could be 100 yards away or 100 feet away. It goes in no matter what.
Do you think you could get your golf game good enough to make the cut at Augusta? Yeah, I would pull my trick of just hitting. I would just go putter, all putters.
No, no, you can't. No, no, it's only on the green.
Yeah, no, I would putt down the fairway again. I don't think that would make the cut.
That would not make the cut. I bet I could.
It's a very long golf course. There's no way that would make the cut.
You see all those balls rolling down the hill? There's no way that would make the cut. What are you talking about? Just putt.
There's no way that would make the cut. No, I would not.
Hank, you think you could? Yeah. Just got to get out there, grind.
Yeah, you got to get out there and just work on it. So.
How sick would that be if you had that in your bag where you're like, the minute I get on the green, it's in. And just everyone's like, holy shit, he's the best putter of all time.
And why does he keep slicing his drive like he's never played before? It would be fun. What are you going to say, Jake? You cannot apply for membership.
It's by invitation only. Membership slots open primarily when a member dies.
So we got to start killing some people. We got to kill all these guys.
All right. I have a list of people we need to kill.
Don't say their names out. No, no, no.
Then we could actually be like, they'd be like, oh, they said their names. They're going to kill them.
We're not going to kill anybody totally. But Jake, who are some of the people that are members there? Condoleezza Rice.
I know she's there. Yeah.
Jack and Klaus. Uh-huh.
Jack and Klaus. He started off.
I forgot to shot him out on Thursday, Friday's show, but he started off the tournament really well. Right down the middle.
They should show the shot tracers on those. He should also play.
If I was, like, that's what I love about Fred Couples. Fred Couples made the cut.
He made the cut, but I'm saying, like, if I, I think Sandy Lyle, like, played his last Masters. Why would you ever? I know that there's a rule that, like, if you can't be competitive, you shouldn't be playing.
Fuck that rule. If I want a green jacket, I'm playing for the rest of my life.
Also, they should let... Tigers should get to use a golf cart.
Wait, we have a plug. What? Pete Coors.
Oh, okay. Let's go.
He's a member. So we're open to an invitation.
If anyone would like to invite us, we are down to be invited to become members of Augusta. How fast do you think we get kicked out of Augusta? I was going to say, how fast do you think the Masters would lose all of its allure? Yeah, I think we instantly.
There's like an unspoken negotiation that we have with the Masters where it's like, you know that you shouldn't show up, and we won't try to show up. Yeah, the people were pissed about not being able to watch Brooks on Saturday.
It's just the ultimate flex by the Masters is that they do, I think this was the 68th year, they do a one-year contract every year with CBS so they could just pull it at any moment. Yeah, well, did you know that? I'll have you guess.
What do you think the rights to broadcast the Masters is? How much do you think ESPN and CBS pay? I don't know. Per year? Hundreds of millions.
Zero dollars. Oh, because they.
It's free. Yeah, because they don't.
It's free because. Yeah.
That way Augusta can control everything that goes on with broadcast. So it's like, we're going to set it up.
You guys show up. You're going to get all the ratings.
But you can't tell us how to do shit. And remember.
This is our tournament. Remember.
There's no commercials. Yeah, well, there are commercials.
Yeah, there are four sponsors. It's like IBM, Rolex, some other.
But super rich company. What they did in, I think it was like 2002-ish, when the whole women want to join Augustine, they're like, no, you can't.
This is a boys club. They pulled all their commercials for a couple of years so that those advertisers wouldn't get blowback because they're like we don't need yeah we don't need to make money off this so they were like we'll just go no commercials so no one can complain to our advertisers yeah they do it's the ultimate flex they do a million dollars in sales i think was it every minute at the pro shop it's insane they make a shitload of money and they have zero dollars in to, they could- I think it's every hour, because I thought it was like $75 million.
Yeah, that probably makes sense. Every minute would be a lot.
That'd be a ton. That'd be a shitload of money.
That's a lot of pimento cheese sandwiches. Hold on.
If they were- Would it be a billion, though? Hold on. No, it would not be a billion.
It wouldn't be a billion. You know how much a billion is? 60.
A shit ton. It's a shit ton.
Yeah, exactly right. All right, so if they were open for what, 10 hours? 10 hours a day, four days.
So they'd make 600 million a day? Yeah, I think they- That would be more than a billion. If they built enough pro shops, they could do it.
That was a cool stat until my brain was like, wait. No, it's a million per hour, which is still a fuckload of money.
I saw it. It was like something like they make like 70 plus million in the course of the five days.
Yeah. They also have like underground tunnels for security and shit.
It's basically Disneyland. Yeah.
That rules. The whole place is awesome.
You can tell me. We got to go sometime.
You can tell me any lie about Augustine. I would believe it too.
Yeah. We got to go.
We going to go one year as a podcast, and we'll review it. Yeah.
Augustine review. Four and a half balls.
It's pretty good. Four and a half out of five balls.
Yeah, pretty good golf course. Okay.
So shout out Jon Rahm. We're going to talk more Masters with Scott Van Pelt in a minute before we get to the rest of the show.
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Terms apply. All right, Hank, pick a number one through three for the next topic we talk.
Three. Three.
Okay. Odell Beckham to the Ravens.
Wow. Number three.
Number three. That did kind of shock me, and it feels like.
It's the least Ravens-like signing of all time. The Ravens have been stone cold committed to not having a good wide receiver for the last, I don't know, the entire existence of their franchise.
Well, I guess we should wait to see what Odell Beckham looks like, because it could be the most Ravens signing of all time. If Odell Beckham's washed, I don't think he is.
Yeah. But that would be the most Ravens signing of all time to sign Odell Beckham and he's not good.
Well, he hasn't had a full season in what seems like forever right now. And when he was healthy playing on the Rams, he was good.
Yeah, no, he was lighting up the Super Bowl when he tore his ACL. Yeah, he was really good.
So this seems to me like like I don't think Odell would have signed with the Ravens if he thought that Lamar Jackson wasn't going to play next year well counterpoint now that I said that out loud you're kind of pointing yourself yeah they did they did pay him 15 million dollars right which is an insane amount of money to pay Odell Beckham Jr. right right it does feel though that Lamar Jackson should be like excited about this.
You think maybe it's,

it's like a,

it's a nice little offer, like buying chocolates and some flowers when you fuck up. Hey, here's Oda Beckham.
You know what? It seems a little bit desperate. A little desperate.
It's like, please, Lamar, take us back. But maybe that's what Lamar wanted.
A big gesture. It's been a lot of no conversing back and forth.
You're sleeping on the couch, two ships in the night. Maybe this is what he wanted.
He's like, just show me something. Show me that you love me in some form or fashion.
Either could be hopefully $300 million or here's an Odell Beckham. Yeah, I mean, it also could be like Lamar looks at this and he's like, you could have just given me the $15 million.
Yeah, true, true. That would have been cool too.
True, but they're like, hey, look, isn't this nice? We got you a receiver. He's going to look so fast in that purple.
Yeah. He's going to look really fast.
Very fast. The other NFL story, Joe Douglas, where was he at, Billy? Did you see this? He was at like some fundraiser and they asked him

is Aaron Rodgers coming?

He's like oh he's coming

he's going to be here

so it has to happen now.

Well it seemed like

the GM like

it looked like a fundraiser

just being like

yep Aaron Rodgers is in.

It seemed like the Ravens

put a premium on Odell

because they knew that

he was supposed to meet

with the Jets tomorrow morning.

Right.

And that they were probably

going to try to sign him so they're like don't let Odell the building. Give him a big offer and have him sign with us instead.
Which is, I mean, it would make way more sense for him to go to the Jets. Right? Like, if you're Odell, if your dad was cutting together highlight reels of how good you were with a quarterback that couldn't get you the ball when you were playing with Baker, right? Going to the Ravens and having maybe no Lamar Jackson,

that seems like that's a recipe for absolute disaster.

Yes.

If it's Tyler Huntley or somebody else not Lamar Jackson next year,

Odell is going to be pissed off.

Oh, he's going to be really pissed.

He's going to be very pissed.

He's probably going to sit out and protest by like week three.

He's going to be very pissed.

He's going to be very, very pissed.

All right, next number, Hank. Two.
Two. UFC was awesome on Saturday night.
Israel Adesanya slept Pereira, who he was 0-3 against Lifetime, two kickboxing, one UFC, and then maybe like the most cold-hearted move of all time mocked Pereira's son who was crying watching his dad get knocked out. Yeah.
In. Yeah, I would.
I'll say it. I love.
I mean, I loved it. I know that people probably were like, oh, that's that's fucked up.
But Adesanya afterwards said, I'm petty, bro. I remember the first time Pereira knocked me out in Brazil.
His son came into the ring. This is a five-year-old we're talking about at the time.
And then started to just lie dead next to me. I'm like, you fucking little asshole.
I'll whoop your ass if your dad don't do it for you. I looked for his kid and I pointed at him and I saw him and I copied the taunt just to remind him.
Yeah, I love it. I absolutely love it.
Like mocking a five-year-old. He's like 10 now.
Yeah, but at the time, he remembered that a five-year-old did that to him. Dude, if you knock somebody's dad out, you're allowed to make fun of that person's son.
Yes. That's what goes along with it.
Also, if you're- My dad's stronger than your dad. Exactly.
If you're a UFC fighter, maybe don't bring your kid to watch you get your ass kicked. Yeah.
Because even if you win the fight, your five-year-old is watching you step into the ring ring And some dude's trying to knock your head off Okay but What if this becomes His villain origin story Where he becomes the best Pereira's son becomes the best UFC fighter of all time And then beats Adesanya Does Adesanya have a son? I don't know Because Pereira's son should be allowed to challenge Adesanya's son in a fight,

like bare-knuckle boxing.

Now we're just commissioning children fighting.

Yeah, I mean, rough and rowdy.

Yeah, come see us, West Virginia.

It was awesome, though.

I love Adesanya.

He hadn't been able to beat Pereira.

I was at the fight in Madison Square Garden where Pereira was just like,

he just, Adesanya was winning the fight the whole time,

then Pereira just kept on coming and coming and coming, couldn't stop him, and it was 0-3, and then finally he gets what he's been looking for, that elusive victory against him. I love Adesanya because he actually does believe that he's a video game character when he fights.
He looks like he's in Tekken, and he, like, they call him the Stylebender, right? Yes. And so he'll just, like, he'll pull out these crazy-ass fucking moves where it looks like he's a video game character, like, trying to shoot a Hadouken at you yeah and then you're like wait what is he doing he's like saying it's some energy transfer some bullshit like that i love having a wild card like that fighting the ufc yes no it was it was awesome what you say billy he also stole his celly adesanya stood over him and was taking his bow and arrow celly just right after and just throwing him into yeah yeah he just like no he desrated the man.
If you're Owen three against the guy, I would imagine you have a lot of built up anger things that you've like, I was on. You're probably just sat at home.
You're like, you know what? If I beat him, I'm going to fucking do this. Yeah.
I'm going to do this. Billy.
Remember the first time you won a food challenge, how good that felt and how you wanted to disrespect the food. That's what he's going through right now.
He just got embodied by food left and right.

And now, of course, yeah, you're allowed to rub it in the face a little bit.

Fire it up.

Also, Mazdal retired.

Yeah, he did.

People kind of thought because he was obviously fighting in Miami,

his hometown.

Yeah.

He'll be back.

I mean, he was an undercard on Kimbo Slice's backyard fight,

backyard brawls.

What a career.

He'll be back. Sublime directory.
Who can forget? He will be back. Hell yeah.
We're calling our shot. Last one.
One. I was going to say 17.
Oh, damn. Did you see, by the way, Stat Hole Sports? He had a blog today.
Our friend. I think there was a guy on Price is Right who did Plinko, and he got zero four times in a row.
I think this was fake. And he – well, I'm just going off the blog.
Right. The blog was fake? No, the Plinko clip.
I saw the Plinko clip. Okay, all right.
So I didn't see the clip. I just read the blog.
It said that it was harder. It's actually like crazier what you're doing, not getting the lottery ball.
Four Plinkos in a row at zero. Both rigged, yeah.
Okay. Number one, NBA playoffs.
We're ready. And we also had a great last three days of the NBA regular season.
We had the Mavericks tanking on Slovenia night. That sucked.
I didn't know it was Slovenia night. Oh, dude.
There were hundreds of Slovenians who flew halfway across the country to see Luka play, and he played one quarter. It was Slovenia night.
Did not know that. It made it very funny.
But, yeah, everyone's upset because the Mavs were still alive to make the play-in game. I think they needed to go 2-0.
And I think Oklahoma City had to lose a game. And they're like, fuck it.
We'd rather keep our own pick. Which they have to be in the top ten to keep their own pick.
Otherwise they owe it to the Knicks. So this makes them the tenth worst team.
So their lottery ball odds are better. So we saw people were so upset.
And it's can you how can this shock you at all when we've been heading this direction for a very long time that once you get to a point where it's like we can't win the title we're going to try to lose it just we were eventually going to get to a point where a team tanked while still being mathematically alive yeah yeah i mean it's still weird though to see it is a just run away from playoff contention, especially when you made a move like bring Kyrie in, which seemed, that was an all-in move, right? Yes. I'd say that the Mavericks were all-in on Kyrie.
And then Kyrie, he skipped his exit interview with the Mavericks. No way.
Him? Yeah, yeah. He did not do his exit interview.
Luka was upset by that because everybody else did their exit interview. Kyrie decided he was done.
He was done with the season. So Kyrie, kind of just congrats to Kyrie.
He's getting better at breaking up franchises. Yeah, it's in record time.
The Mavs are in a weird spot. Yeah, the game though, it was bizarre because a team that could still make the playoffs being like, fuck it, we're not going to do it.
And then on the other side it was actually a perfect like mirror image of like competence i know that people are mad about the mavs move but if you're trying to keep your pick winning that game and potentially having a hail mario going into the play-in game and then having to win those games to get swept like i'm not if i were a mass fan i'd be fine with it maybe not a sylvanian mavs fan but every other mass fan i'm fine with it they should refund the people that flew over they should the balls they played the balls in this game and the balls should have tried to lose because they already have the 10th spot they're already in the playing game and they also if they don't make it to the playoffs would want better odds and it would have like i think they they're going to now end up like 14 or 15 they would have been 10th so it was one team doing the correct thing getting scrutinized for it and the bulls being idiots being like oh we want to get we want to get uh everyone like more time together before we get swept by the box yeah and so i i just like the nba has been heading this way and it wasn't stopped when the process happened and all these things. So you can't be upset that this happened when you've kind of allowed it for a long time.
Yeah, I've seen a lot of people say that they need to fix the lottery and figure it out. No one really knows, understands how to fix it.
I still think that there should be a tournament after the season's over where all the teams that don't make the playoffs compete, the winner of that tournament then gets either the best odds in the lottery yes or they get the first overall pick if it's better than a the the mid-season tournament if you want to try to add more games and like you know more excitement having these teams play at the end of the season that all suck yeah and being like who can who can be the best would be fun yeah well the mavericks didn't even have the worst weekend i would say of of would say, of all teams that were in playoff contention. I'd say that would go to the Timberwolves.
Yeah, your Timberwolves. My Timberwolves, the future's looking great right now for them.
Rudy Gobert took a punch at Kyle Anderson in the huddle. According to Woj, Kyle Anderson told him to shut the fuck up, bitch.
Woj, he decided to censor the word fuck but not bitch. That's's interesting editorial.
The disagreement started with Anderson telling Gobert to block some shots and then Gobert telling him to grab a rebound. And then Cal Anderson said, shut the fuck up, bitch.
Gobert threw a punch and got sent home for the day. So how are we feeling about your future? Well, well, we're talking about the process right now, right? It was, was it was good expected value my expected value out of that bet was the right bet now what do you mean process over results right process guy the process of putting that future in was the correct number was too good the number was too good the expected value based on what the odds were when i put the bet in i'd make that bet a hundred times i think your line your line was like if they could just win two series and get to the Western Conference final, I'll have a hedge opportunity, which would be only the second time the Wolves have ever done that in the history of their franchise.
I'm going to retract that and say if they win one playoff series, then I'll still be in good shape. Do you know what, though? KG said he loved to see it.
He said he loved a little bit of what was the exact the exact quote hank so you might be okay yeah this might be what you need maybe it's like training camp where in football you get so sick of punching your own teammates in the face yeah you want to hit somebody else in the face what did he say exactly nothing like a light scuffle to tighten up the screws before the playoffs lfg there we go lfg yeah i'm in okay i'm back in it was a good bet and then he responded said playoffs plan whatever sticks is up yeah yeah I didnFG. Yeah.
I'm in. Okay, I'm back in.
It was a good bet. And then he responded and said, playoffs, play in, whatever.
Stakes is up. Yeah.
Yeah. He didn't know.
Yeah. No, it's good.
I'm very excited about this. I think that you guys are going to be eating your words when it comes to the Timberwolves.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
They're ready to go. They're fired up.
So, the seedings are set in the East. The Bucs, one.
Celtics, two. Sixers, three.
Cavs, four. The Sixers, Celtics is what we all obviously in this room want in the second round.
Hank, you weren't on the show last week. False.
Oh, you came on for just the lottery ball. That's right.
Did you get that? You came on for the lottery ball. You weren't on the show to talk sports.
What did you think? Well, I could have talked about whatever you wanted to. You chose to talk lottery ball.
What? It's your show. Well, no, we asked you to come on.
You had me on as a guest. We asked you to come on when we were going to talk sports, and you couldn't do that.
But anyway, what do you think about the Celtics blowing the one seat? We did talk about this. Oh, we did? Yeah.
Oh, man, my mind's gone. They didn't blow the one seat.
Oh, they didn't? No. They were the one seat at one time, right? Yeah.
For the majority of the season? I guess. I mean, I wouldn't say they blew the one seat.
Okay. They could have had it.
They did not. They had some injuries.
You know, they weren't playing. It sounds like Brooks.
It sounds like you're describing Brooks right now. There's some load management going on.
It wasn't as bad as Brooks. Wasn't as bad as Brooks.
But no, I'm ready. I'm excited.
You feeling good? Yeah, I mean, Jalen Brown's injury is a little bit weird. We're going to see what happens with that.
He cut his hand picking up a broken vase. He's a baseball player.
Yeah, I'm just programmed whenever I see hand injuries to think whatever they're saying is fake. Wait, why is that? Because it's always like baseball injuries.
Like, oh, you know, I fell out of a shower when Dustin Johnson fell down the stairs. Like some injuries just sound weird.
Yeah, picking up a hand. And hand ones are always weird because it's like that's also usually when people get frustrated, they like punch something and then they say, oh, like I cut my hand on a vase.
I don't think he punched something, but it's just a weird coincidence. Well, so he got five stitches from picking up a vase, which seems like a lot of stitches for just grabbing something, doesn't it? Yeah, I think I could grab a vase and not get any stitches.
I'm confident, yeah. I really do.
We should do that challenge. We should do the Jalen Brown challenge.
It's going viral. Actually, we should do that for PMTV this week.
Can we set that up, Max? Just break a vase

in the green screen room

and see if we can pick it up

without getting any stitch-paces.

You know what?

I'll do you one better.

I'll do it blindfolded.

I think I could pick up

a vase blindfolded

and not get five stitches.

Okay.

I'm down to watch that part.

A broken vase.

Don't you want to play golf

this summer?

It's broken.

It's a broken vase.

But the difference

between me and Hank

is I would sacrifice playing golf this summer if it made good content for PMTV. I think this is a future problem.
Why not both? No, I mean, I will. Golf is great content for PMTV.
I'll be able to play golf because I'm going to be able to pick up this vase without shattering my finger. We don't know when the video's coming out.
Well, no, but me and PMFT don't want to last week. We don't know when the real one video is.

No, Hank's right.

Golf is good.

So we're going to get that video?

I never said we weren't going to get the video.

What's the ETA on that?

It's coming.

That bad boy's coming.

Okay, so Jalen Brown, vase injury.

Max, how are you feeling about the Sixers?

Sixers had a great win on Friday night that no one's talking about. Against the Hawks.
Where the Hawks. Oh, the Hawks were playing.
No, the Sixers didn't play six guys. Oh, okay.
Jaden Springer revenge game. Okay.
It was awesome. Mack McClung got some time.
Nice. Yeah, I don't know.
I'm fired up for the Sixers. I watched that whole game on Friday night when I was expecting it to be the worst game of all time, and it was really fun.
So we've got to figure out what's the bet for the inevitable Celtic Sixers second-round game. I think we should get there first.
Go focus? Yeah. People were throwing out the idea that you guys would do a shave-your-beard bet.
Yeah. Loser shaves their beard.
I think we'll cross that bridge when we get there. But we can say right now, if we're planning out a conference calendar, if you guys play each other in the second round, would you be willing to do that? Why don't we just make it whichever team gets further? No.
Loser has to shit. Yeah, why wouldn't we do that? No, no.
We should do it. We should wait for it.
No, but that's the same thing. No, we should wait.
No, because you should be penalized if one of your teams loses and doesn't even get smashed. I think you jumping the gun you should just pump the brakes and relax and wait till the second we got some shirts we should put some shirts out yeah we should do some shirts this merch is just talk to us they want us to yeah to talk about the next round in the round after that you think uh Peyton you're gonna be rooting for the Celtics obviously right yeah'm going to be rooting for the Sixers to lose in maximum amount of pain.
But no, but in the Celtics, in the whole playoffs. But it's like I'm rooting for.
You want the best case scenario for this podcast, given that we have an award after Blake Griffin, Blake of the Year. Same way Brooks is in it.
We want him to win. We all want the Celtics.

Is he in Blake of the Year?

No, but he's a recurring guest.

George Niang?

George Niang is also a recurring guest.

What about that?

Kevin Love?

Duncan Robinson.

Duncan Robinson?

Are they in Blake of the Year?

Do we do season-long awards for them?

LeBron James?

All right.

I was just trying to...

I guess you guys are against our friends.

No.

We just listed all of our friends.

We're rooting for them all to have a really fun time in the playoffs. Pat Bev? Pat Bev? I would like to see – What? I think it would be good for the show, Hank.
You have to admit that – CJ McCollum? Yes. Of course, CJ.
Having Celtics Sixers play each other in a series – CJ of the year? I didn't know we did that. My bad.
We should. CJ of the Year.
How's he? Hey. All right.
In the West, it's going to be awesome. That's really – we'll do a whole preview with someone, but the Suns and Clippers playing in the first round, and then, I mean, even the Kings and Warriors, where everyone expects the Warriors to win that easily, like Kings can just play no one believes in us the entire playoffs yeah which is crazy it's crazy to think that uh so the kings are they're not gonna be favored in the series right if you look at what the odds are so but the warriors can also play the nobody believes in us card too yeah well first time ever no one believes in them on the road because they're terrible yeah they, they are bad on the road.
I still think that it's Chris Paul's.

This is his postseason to lose.

Oh, I'd agree.

If he doesn't get a championship, it's like, what are you doing, Chris Paul?

Yeah.

This is the one time that you have.

And then I can't wait for the Lakers to win the play-in game and then all of ESPN to be

like, watch out for the Lakers.

Watch out.

Let's watch out.

Grizzlies, Lakers would be great.

We need to have Shannon Sharpe in every game. Yep.
That would be so good. Nobody's talking about the Nuggets.
No one's talking about the Nuggets. That's true.
They're flying under the radar. Just keep an eye on them.
No one's talking about the Bucs either. People are talking about the Bucs.
No one's talking about the Bucs. People are definitely talking about the Bucs.
A lot of people are talking about the Bucs. No one's talking about the Timberwolves.
You should just mute the team name. And then a Corey.
Oh, it's talking about them. Yeah.
I haven't seen it. I haven't seen it.
People are definitely talking about the Bucs. I haven't seen Definitely.
I haven't seen it. What were you going to say? Warriors versus Kings is David versus Goliath in my fall rankings.
Number one versus 124. No.
I love that. Versus.
Wow. Your overall power rankings of every team.
Warriors are number one and 124 dead last for the Kings. I already apologized to the Kings when they clenched the playoffs.
Oh, you're probably getting a lot of tweets. Oh, yeah, a lot from the Kings.
I'm actually shocked we haven't had – we didn't have a terrible Kings take that people could dunk on us for. I mean – Besides Jake's.
I mean, preseason, it was the right call. Doesn't that feel like something we would have done? Yeah, but, I mean, who has Kings takes in general? Well, I'm saying, like, but we usually find the take that hasn't even been said and then have it somehow be wrong.
Yeah, that's true. We are really good at that.
Now that also is a byproduct of us not ever saying like, where do we think the Kings are going to finish? Because they probably would have said dead last. This is going to be their first game on ABC since 2007.
That's crazy. That's crazy.
Every team plays in the regular season. They air like a game a week.
Okay, let's get to who's back of the week and we have scott van pelt coming up who's back of the week is brought to you by our friends at coors light sometimes the days can get so crazy that you forget to make time for fun when that happens you've got to choose to chill so go ahead say yes to midweek happy hours and catching the game after work and while you're at it enjoy

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The best beer ever created Coors Light we love Coors Light okay who's back in the week Hank I have a couple my first one is me I'm back uh thanks Hank vacation was nice I missed you I just want to say like I know I listen to the podcast I heard and I've heard over the years you know the hate and vitriol you guys have towards taking time off and you love the grind day in, day out, 365. And I wonder sometimes, like, am I wrong? Is it messed up of me of thinking this way? And then I go to places like San Diego and see how people live their life.
And it's like, yes, these are my people. Vacation people.
It's just a lifestyle that, like, sometimes I'm like, you know, everyone in this room has a different mindset. Maybe I am wrong, but then it's like, no, I'm just with the wrong people.
Oh, okay. Okay, so you want to, is this you breaking up with us? No, no, no.
Well, I was happy you were back, but I guess I shouldn't be. This sounds like a it's not you, it's me talk.
Where you're like, you've discovered yourself on vacation. Like, you did your eat, pray, love out in San Diego.
and now you want to be a beach person. Isn't San Diego just a ton of retired Navy and military? They deserve that.
No, there's people everywhere. Okay.
Out and about, bars are filled every night. It's an eye-opening experience.
All right, so you don't want to be with us. Do you want to leave? No, I do.
Hank, I want you to be happy. Right, but then I go on vacation, and you guys just trick me constantly and make me feel bad for being on vacation.
But that's because we miss you. This makes a lot of sense to me.
It seems like you want to be just a full-time vacation person. We miss you.
No, I just think that taking a little bit of time off to spend with family and resting and recharging is good every once in a while. You came back in a great mood.
Well, I came back, and I was getting, I mean, again, it is what it is. I fucked up.
I messed up the Brooks bet. No, you didn't.
I lost everything. I screwed everything up.
No, you didn't. Brooks screwed Brooks.
Yep. He didn't play well.
But we love you. We miss you.
That's why we chirped. I miss you guys.
It'd be worse. It wasn't nice to hear the things you were saying about me on the podcast.
I wasn't there. What did we say? Yeah, I wouldn't say anything mean about you.
I was your fire fest because you asked me like five to do the podcast at five o'clock in the afternoon. The day of you weren't my fire.
Hank, what is a joke? What did you miss about? You were not my fire fest. I love you, Hank.
What did you miss the most about this podcast? Wouldn't it be worse if you left and we just pretended like you never were coming back? Wouldn't that hurt more? No. Oh, okay.
Well, then I'll start doing that. It was a week.
I was gone for like two days. I missed you so much.
I would just look up and just like, not there. I just miss you.
You could become a travel blogger and make vacationing your job. Yeah.
That's a good idea. Influencer.
That's a good idea. That's a really good idea.
We need more whale content. I miss you guys too a lot.
I just, you know. Yeah, you could boondoggle.
I mean, that was, or sidetrack, but Donnie, everyone loves the wonton Don. We love the wonton Don.
And Dave is in Italy right now, and he texted him some recommendations, and Dave was like, did you live here? And he's like, yeah, for a year. Dave just had no idea.
Now, to be fair, Donnie, he did a lot of traveling around Europe during that year. But I knew he lived there.
He was stationed overseas. I knew he lived there.
Shout out to Juan Tondon. He's going to Everest.
What did you miss the most about this podcast since you missed us so much? Just the camaraderie. Skies room do you want to hug do you want do you want to hug no no hug hug it out bitch should we hug no i missed you i missed you guys too a lot a lot a lot um who's back is the max is not hank we tried he's not hank max is great no but he's not you see what I'm doing is I'm putting him down to put you up.
You also did that last week when he was gone. Well, you did also bet against UConn in every tournament game.
I don't like UConn. I stick with my game.
At some point you're going to start off to – no. My other back of the week is the Bruins.
Yeah. Set the season record for wins in a season.
I just fucked that up, but they the season record for wins in a season I just fucked that up but they set the record for wins in a season pasta scored 60 goals our friend my friend John Fidelberg has been you know watching every game talking about how good they are wondering where the bandwagoners are why more people aren't talking about the Bruins so I'm here to start the bandwagon. Hop right on just in time for playoffs.

Bruins, Celtics.

I did put the future in a long time ago.

Bruins and Celtics both won the championship.

That would be great, but I'm all Bruins for the rest of them,

at least a month and a half, a few months.

It's shocking that other members of sports media aren't talking enough

about the Bruins setting, would you say, the season record for season wins?

It's actually an incredible record.

In a single season.

In a single season.

The fact that they did that in a single season is the most impressive thing ever. 63 wins.
Yeah, it's pretty crazy. So welcome.
Puck Hank. He's going to go for it.
Yeah, ready. Congrats on the president's trophy.
The president's trophy in hockey, I think, is a bad thing, though. I will say that like that is something I'm worried about.
Just, you know, as day one on the bandwagon, it's like, do you really want to be flaunting the President's Trophy in everyone's faces like Capitals fans used to do

and then they lose in the first round?

That might be bad.

That seemed like it was a personal shot.

I thought you missed being on this podcast.

Back to fiction, the Capitals won the President's Trophy every year

and lost in the playoffs first round like 10 times in a row.

But the fact that you brought it up seemed like it was personal.

No, I'm just bringing up historical context.

Historical context is important. Yeah.
Well, weley cup eventually yeah yeah so maybe eventually you'll get one too i already have one but yeah it'd be nice to get another one i'm rooting for the bruins bruins and leafs those are those could feel like they could conflict oh big time but it's the value i got tremendous value value. All right, Hank.
Let's talk some puck.

I think we're going to have Biz and Whitney on for a playoff preview.

You should get some really, really detailed Bruins questions from fights to ask them.

I mean, why don't they shoot more on the power play?

Yeah.

This is the best hockey team of all time, right?

It would be a massive disappointment if they didn't win the Stanley Cup. Yeah, in single season yep chris paul and the bruins going for legacy this year yep uh all right pfc you're who's back uh my who's back of the week is harry potter so i just found out that before we started the show they're they're doing an eight-part series just harry potter i have a confession to make i'm same same same i've never read a word of harry potter i've never seen a second of any harry potter movie same they're just trying to find new ways to make us watch it and i still won't watch they're gonna just keep making new harry potters in different like all right harry potter listen up who is it what's her name jk rowling jk rowling you put harry potter uh in a twitter thread and i'll read it.
Okay. The whole series.
I won't actually do that. Maybe on the back of a cereal box? I've already committed to watching the Jersey Shore, which is one thing that I missed.
I'm thinking about trying out Harry Potter. But I feel like...
So when we were growing up... Because I was too old.
Yeah, it felt like I was too old for it when it was young. Right.
That's how old I am. Yeah.
Because I'm really old. I read the books when I was a kid.
I was right in the age frame, and that's actually when I read books. I loved the books.
Hated the movies. Can't I just watch Star Wars? That's the same thing, right? Which I also haven't seen from start to finish.
Same. It's going to be HBO, so it might be like, we should do it.
What, violent? No. But the books aren't violent.
It's on Game of Thrones. No, I'm saying it might get horny.
Oh it what violent no like but the books aren't violent

so I'm saying it might get horny oh but they're underage like a couple puffy they're they're

high schoolers but there's implied in the in the book yeah but I don't want to watch high schoolers

get it free one yeah read the books I read all the books and it sounds like you don't know what

happened what are no there's plenty of like implied banging in the book what house are you Billy

I'm probably Slytherin you're Slytherin

yeah

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what do you think hanks gryffindor hanks no no he's hufflepuff you run this entire company that's pretty much the extent isn't there a ravenclaw there's like a staircase is there a staircase yeah they move there's there's a sorting hat which is pretty much like the lottery ball machine. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay, so Harry Potter's back.
Harry Potter's back. You're like a Dudley brother.
That felt mean. Oh, no.
Jake just said that was mean. Oh, fuck.
Are we both Dudley brothers? Just you. Hagrid.
Just me? You're Hagrid. That feels mean.
That's a fat joke. Oh, no.
Wait, it was all the way back good to have you back in the third one they he gets blown up right oh doesn't he like fly up like a balloon oh no that was that was the ant that was the ant that's right after football season something like that is that like is that like the Dudley boys you can just be a Dudley boy Hank you should be rock Hank and Billy you guys guys totally missed out on. You could just completely insult us with Harry Potter references, and we'd never get them.
Big time. You should just keep doing that.
People would love it. PFT works at Gringotts.
Oh, no. Oh, fuck.
Is that the dwarves? Good one, Billy. Yeah.
That's so funny. That's so funny.
I forgot to laugh, Billy. I got more.

Oh, shit.

Unload the clip.

Hit me.

Go, go, go.

Go, Hank.

You too.

Big cats, Hagrid.

Yep.

Fat.

What else you got?

I actually get Hagrid a lot.

Shit.

Hank's thinking, what do you got for us?

Lay it on us.

My butt. That's too far, Jake.
Oh, no. That's a slur.
Jake just uttered a slur. In the Immanuel slur in the Harry Potter.
You called us Mudbloods? Yeah. Oh, that sounds very racist.
I wasn't calling it, but like. No, it sounds like you called us that.
Okay. Is that what we are? I think he said over here was like Mudblood City.
Oh.

That was a Tom Brenneman moment.

Yeah, that was worse.

Oh.

You probably, I can't really think of many insults.

You probably had the crumb in the World Cup.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Well, you could also just do the killing curse.

Just kill him if you want.

No, I would never do that.

Yeah, that's too far.

I don't read nerd shit like that.

But the movie sucked. The show's probably going to suck, too.
Okay. That's my take.
It sounds like there are a lot of words. Books are good, though.
If they make a Game of Thrones, like weird. At least 200 pages.
Multiple. Oh, Butterbeer, right? There's always like 400 girls lined up around the block.
There's this one store in New York that sells Butterbeer, and they all line up, and then they take like 30 seconds

to have their boyfriends take pictures of them

with a Butterbeer. I would try Butterbeer.

Yeah, why not? Those are two of my favorite things.

Yeah. My other Who's Back of the Week is

Crack. Crack's back in New York City

apparently. Yeah, New York Post reported

that there's... You're selling it on the street?

It never left. Yeah, no, Crack was low-key

like it was mid for a while.

Crack fell off, and now apparently there's a resurgence in crack in New York City. So be on the lookout.
Okay. That's one drug I don't think I'd ever want to try.
Yeah. Bad vibes.
Yeah. I agree.
Has fentanyl made people go back to crack? Yeah. Yikes.
That's nuts. Yeah.
All right. my who's back is the state of Connecticut.

They already were back, but they won another national championship, Quinnipiac.

Oh, yeah.

A place where we taught our first course, beat Minnesota in the Frozen Four.

Awesome, awesome game-winning goal.

It looked like a design play off the face-off in overtime,

so they scored it with, like, 10 seconds into the overtime.

Quinnipiac was, from everything I understand, I understand was like a dog shit dog shit uh hockey school for a very very long time and they've basically ripped off the most wins in hockey in the last two years and now they have a title and unfortunately Minnesota just continues their sadness yeah recipro. Reciprocity with Wisconsin.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, Wisconsin has more state of hockey.

Minnesota, that is the school.

They have five national titles in hockey.

Yeah.

Wisconsin has six.

But Quinnipiac, they're going to party so hard at Quinnipiac.

They might as well just cancel the rest of the semester there. I mean, pretty fucking crazy that the state of Connecticut just went back to back.

Yep.

Like that.

Okay.

Go Cats.

Bobcats, right?

Yeah, I think so.

Thank you. I mean, pretty fucking crazy that the state of Connecticut just went back to back.
Yep. Like that.
Okay. Go Cats.
Bobcats, right? Yeah, I think so. My who's back is Shaq.
So remember that FTX case? There's a bunch of celebrities who are sponsoring it and being spokespersons. What FTX case? You know.
No, I'm just kidding. Oh, yeah.
With the SPF. Okay.
So, you know, like Pineapple Express, Seth Rogen's character? Yep. He like serves papers.
Yep. So it turns out Shaq is the last person on that list.
I think it's like 30 to 40 celebrities who's avoided getting served papers. That's awesome.
It seems like Shaq would be very easy to track down. The easiest.
Yeah. Maybe the easiest person in the world to track down actually.
So allegedly Shaq's been avoiding them, like getting away them just knocking the papers and he someone connected to shaq or a random person texted the serving group in texas shaq lives in the bahamads you stupid fuck give beth shaw my regards uh best shaw is the server's uh wife and so apparently someone allegedly connected to shaq maybe threatening the server, and yeah, Shaq's nowhere to be seen. That cruel.
Isn't he doing NBA on TNT? Yeah, he's like... Yeah, but let's lock that down.
Yeah. Shaq Fu, he's avoided all the servers.
He probably just swats it when they try to serve him. Isn't he going to be...
They go on the road. Oh.
That would be awesome if it happened in the middle of the taping of that. You don't be sick.
Kenny Smith gets up, runs to the big screen, and meets Shaq there. And Kenny Smith serves him with a subpoena.
Yeah. I just don't get why Shaq's having such a hard time.
Yes, I'm not feeling bad for Shaq. He did make a ton of money.
But how the hell is SBF getting really nothing? He's out of jail and Shaq's getting tracked down by a bunch of dudes with papers. Well, SBF, he's arrested, right? No, he got out.
Yeah, but isn't he on probation? Is he on parole? I don't know. It sounds like they already served SBF.
But isn't he going to jail? Yeah, but no. They don't know yet.
He might get out of this. Right, but he hasn't.
But Shaq might not be going to jail either. He paid the bail.
He's out probably with a monitor. Right.
So he has gotten it worse than Shaq, which he should. Right, but Shaq's on the run.
Come on. I think what Billy's saying is that Shaq is too friendly to be really charged with a crime.
Come on, leave Shaq alone. Yeah, just let Shaq chill.
He's done enough to avoid the papers. Yeah, agreed.
By evading it, there should be a time clock. There should be a time limit.
Yeah, yeah. It's like a game.
All right, Jake, finish us off, then we'll get to SVP. Yeah, continue with the hockey theme.
My Who's Back is our first responders. It is game week on Long Island.
New York's bravest, New York's finest. In Long Island.
Clashing at UBS Arena. Sold out UBS Arena.
Saturday. Coverage begins at 4.15 p.m.
Eastern time. Battle of the Badge.
Who are you rooting for, Jake? Barstool.tv. I'm down the middle.
Have to be. Got to pick a side.
In the booth with Biz. But, yeah.
If you want to get hyped for this game, go to the Spittin' Chicklets YouTube, Battle of the Badge documentary. They're behind-the-scenes crew, led by Sean.
Mike helped as well. Everyone.
It was unreal. It'll get you very excited.
They're going to fight. Yeah, there's some fights in this game.
They're going to fight. Which is always fun to watch.
These guys have probably thought about who they're going to fight well ahead of time. Yeah.
This planned out so it's an annual game uh it's an emotional pre-game ceremony then when the puck drops battle game time yeah let's go so tune in barcelot tv saturday afternoon gonna be love it very excited very very excited um who are you rooting for billy nypd okay nice i don't i i I well i think i'm doing the in-between periods so i don't think i'm allowed to i think i'm gonna just do the jake thing just be like neutral yeah also firefighters are awesome and their trucks are cool yeah i'm just thinking about the trucks um trucks but also but also i don't want to get arrested but the trucks If I do get arrested, I hope both sides win. Yeah, there you go.

I hope both sides win. Yeah, there you go.
I hope both sides win. All right.
Let's get to SVP. Talk a little more Masters.
He was at Augusta all week. Great stuff with him.
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4HIMSS.com slash PMT. And now here is Scott Van Pelt.
Okay. We now welcome on one of our favorite guests.
Great friend. It's a tradition unlike any other Scott Van Pelt live from the Augusta airport after the masters.
Here he is. Let's just hop right into it.
John Rahm, man, is he strong. So that's your golf observation? Is Jon Rahm strong? Well, it's a Brian Windhorst tweet as well when he said, and man, is LeBron strong? And man, is he strong? But you're watching this.
We're playing a weird tournament because of the rain and everything, 30 holes today. Jon Rahm, when you're watching it and he takes over the lead was there any doubt in your mind that he was going to give that up like he just feels like a killer uh that that just doesn't give up those type of moments that's the exact word that andy north fellow badger uh used afterwards he's a killer and and not every guy out here is kind of wired like that rom just wants to squash you like a bug and the thing about brooks uh was that you could just sense it was like a racehorse that was ahead but was just slowing down and you could just tell that he he had to make birdies and he couldn't and no i mean when when they flipped the lead and then when when rob made birdie on eight to go ahead to i mean look anything can happen here i mean but rom just and it's boring like it's kind of super inside golf but like just technically what he did until like on 12 you got it fire over the but you know hit it over the bunker don't mess with the flag perfect shot 13 hit it around the corner over the green down and chip it down make a birdie perfect 14 he had a lousy drive then hit an incredible shot he just did everything technically perfect and nobody could really do anything to get close to them and like phil shooting 65 was insane yeah but i mean you know to answer your question no once rom had the lead it was it was a wrap and the course kind of changed a little bit after the after the weather hit on saturday drastically we saw when they called it off there were there was just standing water everywhere i couldn't even believe that they were still playing when they decided to suspend play um from a a real golf point of view because we're idiots that we just watched on tv we just we scream like go brooks let's go brooks and we don't really know what's going on out there what was it about the course that changed that was at a disadvantage for brooks and helped rom i don't know that it was the course honestly i mean well look brooks benefited massively as did anybody who went late early thursday friday and that's just 100 luck of the draw you you either get the good weather or you don't.
And Brooks in that part of the draw did. And then like Rom and Tiger and JT and whoever else was out there.
Like Saturday, I can't explain to you how bad it was. I mean, relative to, I mean, I've been coming here for 20-something years.
I've been here when it's cold. I've been here where it rains.
I've never been here where it was that cold and that rainy. And, like, Thomas told me today, he's like, I absolutely smoked my drive on 18.
I had 240 yards to get home on the 18th hole. Like, that's not a 240-yard second shot for these guys.
And so I just thought Rahm, I mean, look, John Rahm Rom is so strong he was really strong in the shitty weather on Saturday and then more than anything like when they came out Sunday morning and Rom had a putt for birdie and Brooks had a putt for par Brooks missed John made just like that it goes from four to two and I mean that's as big a momentum shift as you could have and and brooks just couldn't make a birdie when he didn't make the birdie on two and rom made the birdie on three you could just i mean just like i said that's the racehorse analogy it's just you could feel brooks fading and i don't think it was the course as much as it was just he couldn't he just couldn't it felt like a little bit like rory at st andrews. He couldn't stretch it out.
Right. And there's a freedom in trailing in majors.
I don't know how to explain it or why it is, but it almost feels like it's just better to be whoever's in second. It also just felt like all Sunday – and Brooks did not play well, so we're not making excuses, but it felt like he just couldn't get that one bounce that like you see one good thing happen, it's like, all right, let's go do this.
It felt like every time was just a little bit off, a little bit here, the shot was a little short. He just couldn't get that one bounce.
100%. Like the ninth hole, there's so many greens out here.
Like on 14, the shot Rahm hit was nuts, and it rolls to exactly the right spot. Like the shot Brooks hit on nine is an inch from not getting caught up in the fringe.
And if it doesn't, it rolls to, I don't know, five feet like he could easily. It's easily in birdie range if that happens.
I don't know how short he was from being on the green on four, but it didn't seem like a ton. You're right.
He was just fractionally off. but I mean I don't know how short he was from being on the green on four, but it didn't seem like a ton.
You're right. He was just fractionally off.
But, I mean, Rahm is just an absolute monster right now. And, you know, like I said, you get asked beforehand, oh, who do you like? And this and that.
And I actually, I said Brooks. I like Brooks a lot.
You and I were talking about hedging. Do you hedge? No.
Never hedge. no no hedge wish I did yeah now now team hedge yes yes maybe that's the thought but but I I said to I forget which show but I just said like why why pick anybody other than Rahm or Scheffler because it's going to be Sunday night and one of them will win and we'll just go, well, no shit.
Of course they were going to win. That's who they are.
They're better than anyone else right now. And here we are and it's John Rahm.
Now, if you're a Brooks stan such as ourselves, is it fair to say, can I say, like, Brooks is officially back? Is he back? Yes, 100%. Nice.
That feels good. Nice.
That feels good to say. It was good to talk to him Friday.
I've always liked him. He's got kind of an athletic arrogance that's different than a lot of golfers, which maybe some people think is off-putting.
I don't. I mean, he's just over it.
I want to play great in majors because I like him, and other tournaments just aren't that interesting to him. And he's healthy.
And if he's healthy, he's, you know, Rahm's strong. Brooks is strong too, man.
Did you see how much I just spit there? That was a lot of spit. It was good.
It was good. It was good.
A lot of moisture all weekend in Augusta. Not really.
Pimento cheese spittle right there. But he's really strong, not as much spit.
And absolutely, absolutely, he's back. And it's more fun in the game when Koepka is in the mix.
I mean, the dude won four in like 18 months. And he had a chance.
What did he finish? He finished second on his own. So that's the second runner up here.
So unequivocally, Brooks Koepka back. Nice.
So something I love about the Masters, and this is going to be a little bit of a curveball, because they do a great job of celebrating the champion, and that becomes the prevailing story, and a lot of the other stuff just gets kind of washed away. There's not a lot of other noise.
You know, the live, everyone thought it was going to be a big thing. It really wasn't.
But... Go ahead.
My one question, one story that I would like for everyone to talk about. Patrick Cantley is the slowest golfer of all time.
Were people pissed after? And extra question, at Augusta, could Brooks and Jon Rahm have just played through? Could they just been like, guys, we're just going to go ahead. Like, this is too much.
If you're at a Muni and you're, you know, stopping the cart person and, you know, slugging back some suds, you're absolutely air mailing the group in front of you. Like, let's go.
Yes. I mean, Hovland and Cantlay took forever.
And there's a certain amount of, I'll give you some latitude. It's the Masters.
It's a big deal. I get that you have a routine and you stick to it.
I also get that you're not in the lead and they are, and they're sitting on their golf bags, like while we're young, right? No, like, what are we doing? And good God, they took forever. Kepka said afterwards, like he's, I think he, I mean, he was being, maybe, maybe John did go to the bathroom seven times, but he's like, I think Ron went to the bathroom seven times and we were still waiting.
And like, we're the lead group by a lot. Um, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta have a better sense of sort of, I mean, I think anybody that plays golf, you know, like I always hate it.
I always feel like if some, like, Oh God, someone's on the tee, like, let's go, let's go. And this is the masters.
And the Masters. They're like six ahead of us, and we're grinding over this four-footer.
I mean, no, technically, I don't think, Big Cat, you can play through. Would have been interesting to see what would happen if they did.
But it was, yeah, that took entirely too long for the second to the last group to play. What are the rules in terms of a shot clock? Is there somebody there with a stopwatch that's counting shots? Theoretically, I mean, look, you can get put on the clock.
That happens in golf. I can't remember it happening here.
It did. But it's one of those things, like, you know, this annoys me when I watch basketball now and I'm not Rules McJohnny, like, I don't care about a lot of stuff.
But when you hand the ball to someone for the inbound, right, the official's always doing that, like, one, two. Like, you're supposed to count.
Or on the free throw, you're supposed to get 10 seconds. One, two, three.
No one counts. Like, no one ever counts.
And I'm thinking, well, is it a rule or is it not a rule? Well, you kind of just don't know. Well, when it comes to people being on the the clock it's not like there's a big ass pitch clock but there ought to be because if there was there would have been like somebody with a horn going like you either have to putt or you're we're gonna you'd get a one-stroke penalty yeah yeah it was crazy but but so there is yes there is a clock in theory but when you're on it when you're not it's more just sort of somebody kind of like let's go what you know let's let's get it moving kind of a thing but i don't know i did i don't think anyone was on the clock today but god if they were it would have been an issue a problem did you get a chance to to catch up with phil after the round because it seemed like phil was in like alpha phil mode grabbing people's asses fig jam like he would It was peak Phil that we saw he was dressed in all black he had the frosted shades on he looked like he was enjoying himself yeah my authoritized cartman shades from like he was in full fill mode uh we had a good talk on i don't remember what day it was we caught up and were it was had nothing to do with anything just life stuff and and um i kept i kept looking at him like when did you get so thin it's nuts uh but then like look i'm gonna be honest the live guys had a good week kepka played well reed played well phil had the lowest round he's ever had in his life um but the phil thing's totally out of left field i mean no one it wasn't like like anyone beforehand was like, hey, Phil.
Yeah. Phil future.
Take Phil top five. Like no one was saying that to anyone.
So there's a certain amount of just people play well here. Fred Couples set a record, the oldest guy to make the cut.
And Phil's one of those guys. I said to North afterwards, I think Phil will play well here forever.
He just has the kind of game that works. But I didn't see him when it was done.
But he played an unbelievable round of golf. But unfortunately, no one anywhere close to the lead did anything.
Phil got to second for a time because everyone in the middle just kind of played like cheeks. Yeah, yeah, it's true.
All right, so speaking of old old guys playing at augusta we had this debate before you came on uh can tiger woods ever win another masters it would take a lot man i mean okay it would i mean just it would take his body not betraying him and it would take Scheffler,

Rahm, Koepka,

Thomas, Spieth, Cantlay, Shoffley, Phil, if you want. I mean, it would just take everyone not playing as well as him.
I mean, so I look, I mean, this is the obligatory. Well, never count Tiger was out.
That was what I took. Yeah.
And look, I mean, of course, look, he did it in 19, but that was before this awful car wreck, and it's just, I don't know, man. It just sucks seeing what happened at the PGA where he just kind of can't get around and then hear of the same deal.
So it just feels like that's probably done. Could he get the exemption, though, to use a cart? That's what everyone asks.
He wouldn't do it, man. That's a game of golf kind of thing.
He just wouldn't do it. He's just too proud of a dude to, like, no.
Here, no. Champions Tour or whatever, and you can zip around in that, sure, why not? But, like, here, no.
Yeah. Yeah, I would see that, Tyler, having too much pride.
The other story from the weekend, the weather, the trees, the stoppage. How many guys are on the ground screw at Augusta? Because they're insane.
They might be the best at what they do versus anyone else in the entire world, any profession. Facts.
100% facts. Like, trees fell down in half an half an hour it's like it never happened i have no idea they the the thing about augusta national is that they have on they have a bottomless well of resources to just make things happen that don't make sense like i mean like the last year if anyone watched the par 3 contest which is actually a lot of fun like you come back a year later and there was a brand new par three course.
Like they moved stuff all over the place. There's how outages that weren't there.
I mean, and this was like in six months. I mean, it's not reasonable.
You can't do that. Well, they did.
These trees fall down. And then like the next day, it's like probably new trees were there.
I don't know. Or if they weren't, all the other ones were gone.
It happened a few years ago.

Like one of the trees on Magnolia Lane was down.

And then I think if I have it right, I swear the next day there was just a new one.

Where do you get a new mature Magnolia tree?

Like I planted azaleas in my yard.

They still have those shitty little yellow tags on them and won't grow. What am I doing wrong? You know what I need? I need the Augusta grounds crew to come to my house and sort out my yard situation.
But, I mean, we're kidding, but we're not. They do stuff here that makes no logical sense.
They're incredible. Just even seeing on Saturday the puddles and everything, all the water.
It's like, oh, that'll be fine tomorrow. Like, no problem.
And you come Sunday and the sun comes out and the wind starts blowing and it's like yesterday didn't happen. I don't know.
There's a lot of magic that goes on here that's hard to kind of figure out. Yeah.
And how many lives were saved by the fact that you're not allowed to have a cell phone out there? No joke. So the tree falls and nobody's looking at their phones.
True. They're like, whoa, that could have been a disaster there.
And we were on the air and like we were I mean, and obviously there's like feeds now. So it's obviously on the Internet.
But then in terms of the television broadcast, we were simply trying to make certain everyone was OK. And miraculously, they were.
And I think from one of the angles, I mean, I think two trees fell around a person. Yes.
Which, how is that possible? And how did they not get smashed by a tree? Just thank God they weren't. But, I mean, I was talking to a number of different players like Keith Mitchell.
You should get him on. You'd love him.mere is an awesome dude uh and he's on the 15th hole and i i mean it's a delay and i text him i said did you see that he's like my heart stopped because his family's out there and he's trying to figure out like is everyone all right and again they were if like tigers groups there or if there were cell phones a hundred percent people are really hurt bad or were really were worse and so again thank god that didn't happen but i don't even know what i don't know it wasn't that windy i don't know what that was about man it was like something just came zipping through and all of a sudden trees fell over like that's never happened yeah the time i've ever been here the live tour guys had their their bone saw guys out there just cut it down real quick yeah the shout out to Grounds crew.
They deserve a big shout out for the entire weekend because it didn't feel on Sunday we were just watching what we always love, Sunday at the Masters, looked perfect. Other story I want to touch on real quick.
How crazy is it that Sam Bennett finished top ten? Put that into perspective. Amateur, like, guys aren't supposed to do that.

No.

What, they invite, like, four or five amateurs every year.

They usually miss the cut.

Like, when you're watching that, you're like, how is this kid hanging with the big dogs as long as he did?

It was nuts.

And, I mean, does he – I said on the broadcast, like, everyone just thinks he looks like Dabo, right?

He looks like Dabo. He also kind of looks like Jay Buhner, I feel like.
Fair. Well, I think, is that the official Texas A&M beard? Yeah.
Or is it just like an SEC chin beard? Whatever it is. He came in the Butler cab, and it was really cool.
I forget. I mean, that's like a sacred place to go in this sport.
Yeah. And, and he's in there and he's like, he's told me, he said, I'm more nervous now sitting here with you than, than I was out there.
And he was playing with Scheffler and, and, um, the pervert. Yeah.
No, we don't know. It's spicy.
Oh, no, no. Yeah.
Somebody gave a meatball. Yeah.
We already told that person, uh, who shout out spicy meat they can come watch the Masters with us every year because they're probably never allowed back at Augusta National. No, I think that's fine.
But, again, apologies for the – he's obviously not a pervert. But he played alongside a top-ten player in Max and the reigning champion, and he was better than both of them for two days.
But he did that thing, fellas, where he came into the press center and said that the course he played, the amateur on, was harder than the Augusta National. You know, you don't want to tempt the fate like that.
Like DeChambeau came in a couple years ago and said par there for him was 67, and things haven't gone great for him since. There's just certain things at Augusta National right that you just don't want to tempt you don't want to tempt fate you don't want to wag your finger at anybody um and so bennett did that but i think it was totally harmless he wasn't like saying i'm better than this but i think the kid came there thinking i might win he got back to butler cabin he won the and he won low amateur which is awesome i mean was an incredible story.
And if you go down the list, look at how many different people he beat. I mean, that's an incredible accomplishment.
And the number of times I've been there, like amateurs that are in the final group, I can't remember any. So that was an incredible storyline for sure.
Yeah. Scott, I'm curious to know, as an Augusta veteran, what do you look forward to eating the most when you go back besides the big texas cinnamon roll when you're when you're out there on the course are you a pimento cheese guy no chicken salad on wheat chicken salad on wheat is is low key high key the go-to okay and the vets the vets know that um at so go chicken salad on the honey week uh they replaced the brioche this year which is kind of controversial and then people like well it's the masters they probably figure it out it's that's the one you want that's the go-to um so i probably had i don't know not double digits but a lot of those including one like walking out of the media center just like an absolute animal.

I feel like you don't eat, and then you're starving.

Through the years, whether it was with Russillo or Stanford Steve, I've made it pretty clear.

It's not a treat to eat with me.

I just always look up, and I feel like people are like, Jesus, look at this guy.

Keep your poise, big boy.

It's like chicken salad.

It's a bad scene. But speaking of the big Texas.
Oh, yeah. Let's get it.
Moment of truth. Now, this is a tradition unlike any other.
Oh, no. No.
Are we out? Wait. I got to turn it around, right? Is it not there? Oh, no.
Someone ate it all. Look.
They ate all the Big Texas. No no it's bad um i think that's where what's mrs freshly's donut sticks glazed we think that's is that a move yeah i think that's the new one yeah wait this is a true story there was a guy that's out there working and first of all it's just it's awesome people like love you on pmt which is is out there all over the place.
Uh, but there's one guy that was there working at Augusta National literally comes over to me and is like, Hey, you're going to get the big Texas tonight. I hope so.
And think how crusty is going to be to find out that it's that all there is, is the Mrs. Freshly.
I'll bet nance got there before yeah this is hello friend yeah this

is how we make new traditions so it's mrs freshley's donuts but wait i want to be honest with you like if we and we talked about this i feel like in years past i mean it's a murderous row of treats like there's everything else is just is high level like not just fritos but chili cheese Fritos. Not just

Cheetos, cheddar

jalapeno.

That's good it's good yeah but but there's no big texas yeah and you know what again your your listeners are the best as you know but all year like this all year long somebody will see it and you how many how many times do you get a tweet yeah right where someone just sent you a picture of a Big Texas? It's great. It puts a smile on my face.
Why are they not sponsoring? I mean, I know you guys are doing just fine, but I feel like Big Texas is missing massive opportunities to just send you them in bulk. Yeah, I mean, the problem is with Big Texas, it is the closest treat that you can have that will, like, substitute for a meal in a pinch.
But you basically have to call in sick the next day if you're eating a big texas for dinner that night there's a there's a density that just is is rare yeah it's the heaviest snack now scott i want to give you the opportunity to clear something up because i saw somebody claim that when kevin na withdrew um on thursday there's a co-worker that we have that bet on him. I heard a rumor that you were doing the gritty

across withdrew on Thursday. There's a coworker that we have that bet on him.
I heard a rumor that you were doing the gritty across the bridge there at Augusta because you were so happy that Kevin not withdrew from the tournament. Is that true? What? And that your head was spinning around.
Yeah. Oh, wait.
No, that is that Frank? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We sorted this out with Frank.

There was a detente.

No, I FaceTimed you.

I FaceTimed you with Frank, and you guys hashed it out. And then, unfortunately, you broke the detente and started celebrating on camera when Justin Verlander got hurt.

Your head was spinning, Scott. We all saw it.
Here's what I'm going to do. Here's what I'm going to do for Frank.
I'm just going to embrace the heel thing. I'm going to openly root against.
No, you know why I can't do that? You know why I can't do that? Because I don't do it, and all people do is fire at me and say that my head's spinning.

Are you proud?

Are you happy now?

And so I can't win.

Can I give you some advice?

Here's, I think, how you should play it.

Because you're in a battle right now with an unbeatable foe.

Correct.

You just have to completely ignore all of it.

I mostly do. And then people took me seriously.
I was like like you can't talk about my kids i knew you and then people and then people are like and it's like you know what it is it's the rusillo rusillo is the best at the joke that somehow people don't understand it's a joke and then he just ignores it that's his favorite his favorite is when he can drop something and then people react to it. And he just walks away like, see what I did? Not me.
But I'm dealing with Frank and all of the people that love and everyone loves Frank. I'm team Frank.
I don't dislike the Mets. My head's not spinning.
I don't celebrate anyone's injury. It doesn't matter because Frank's going to blame me, and I'm fine.
I'm happy to be the person Frank blames, but there's no winning either way, so we'll just have to just ignore it and hope it goes away. The good news is Buster Olney is still number one on the list, and the best Frank story is that he started ranting to me one day.
He always says, Buster Olney's just reporting about the Mets, and he's smiling. And I was like, what are you talking about? And then I went and looked, and in Buster Olney's Twitter avatar, he's actually smiling.
So Frank was like, he's smiling every time he tweets about the Mets. I was like, well, that's his Twitter avatar.
But here's the thing. This is a secret.
This is breaking news. Buster hates the Mets.
Yes. Yes.
All right. Well, Scott.
Wait, wait, wait. This is even this is Buster hates Frank.
He doesn't hate. He doesn't hate Frank.
And he he hates neither Frank nor the Mets. But I said it.
And I'm sure you can edit it. Yes.
Oh, yeah. Yes.
Fucking voodoo dolls of me now. Because I the i had the stupidity to make the joke it's just a joke all right so scott i know you got to go last question rowback question r-h-o-b-a-c-k.com use code take 20 off your first purchase q-zips polos joggers i'm wearing the joggers i'm wearing the hoodie best clothes out there promo code take for 20 off your first.
Last question. How much of your personal wealth have you paid to get Hunter Dickinson to Maryland? We just need to know the number.
What's the number? And we'll figure it out. Listen.
And here's the thing. If that happens, I will be the greatest hypocrite of all time because he was the number one heel in the conference.

Oh, yeah. He hated Maryland.
He made it his personal mission to troll Maryland at every turn.

And then if like if he comes there, then everyone's like, oh, that's awesome.

Let's go go Terps, go Hunter Dickinson. So we're just we just need to know what the number is, you know.

But he could be trolling us now and go someplace else.

And then, you know, that that's that's kind of I think in every Maryland fans back of their mind, they're like,

Thank you. We just need to know what the number is, you know.
But he could be trolling us now and go someplace else. And then, you know, that's kind of, I think, in every Maryland fan's back of their mind, they're like, is he really maybe going to do this? Or is this all just an incredibly elaborate ruse? I guess we'll find out.
Yeah, you guys will be very hateable because I don't hate Maryland. But if Hunter Dickinson's on there, and he knows how I feel because he does the same to Wisconsin.
So get ready for that. But you'll be fine with it.
All right, well, Scott, thank you as always. You are the best.
We appreciate it. And hopefully you get home safe and have fun with the Mrs.
Daisy's donuts. Yeah, I'm going to make a decision here.
I might go Fruitables, maybe Funnables fruity snacks. That's a are good.
All right, boys, be good. I appreciate you.
And Buster doesn't hate the Mets. Yeah, we cut that part.
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Nicolas Cage is Dracula. That's all you need to say.
That's all you need to do. I'm in.
Nicolas Cage, Dracula. Okay.
Hank, I feel like this has been a tumultuous reentry. I'm happy you're back.
I hope you get this. I actually am rooting for you in this specific case.
Let's go, Hank. Because, you know, it's kind of like you don't see someone for a while, long time, and then you see him again, and it's

like, what do we, how do we converse?

How do we, but we're back.

Yeah.

Let's go.

You called me fat.

That was when I knew.

I was like, my guy's back.

You literally asked for it.

Yeah, yeah.

No, I did.

I wanted to.

Give me more.

But now you're mad.

No.

No, I want more.

I think it's funny when you guys roast us in Harry Potter, because we don understand No idea Yeah, people will love that portion of the show So Hank Have you ever gotten this? Nope Have you ever gotten it? Nope How many people in San Diego asked you? Not as many Not as many as you said Oh, your people. Yeah.
Those are your people. Okay.

We did make a bet, though.

Yeah.

Should we say that?

Yeah.

Hank, what did you agree to if you don't get the lottery ball before the end of next football season?

I will get a tattoo of the lottery ball machine, but if I pass you in total victories by the end of next football season, you will get a lottery ball machine. Yeah.

First, you have to win one.

Transstamp.

You do.

Yeah.

That's an awesome bet. Jake, how many do I have? Four? PFT has four.
Yeah. Whoa.
That's a lot. Okay.
It's a deal, Hank. You got this, Hank.
I'm rooting for you. Wait, so Hank gets it once? No bet.
No, no bet. Or if I get, even if, what's four? What if I tie you? I think he has to, I think he has to get four.
Well, PFT could also. No, let's say four.
no no it's a head to head but what if we tie you i think he has to i think he has to get four pfc could also no yeah let's say four no no it's a head-to-head but what if we tie i think he should get the tie four's a lot if you keep getting it yeah yeah if you tie it yeah yeah i mean i'm gonna get it at least three more times if you tie it any number it's very easy to get this is super bowl sunday regular season super bowl sunday super bowl sunday and a tie goes to hank okay that's fair yeah deal okay Have you ever gotten this? Nope, 96. Chase me down.
Super Bowl Sunday. And a tie goes to Hank.
Okay. That's fair.
Yeah.

Deal. Have you ever gotten this? Nope.

96. Oh, that was a false

start. Oh, no.
Oh, no, Hank.

That's a false start. Did he do that on purpose, though?

You'd never know with him.

No, he didn't.

I think he might have. No, he didn't do that on purpose.

Numbers. 6-0.

I'm going to go with 96.

18. I'll go 17.
6-9. I'm going to go with 96.
18.

I'll go 17.

98.

20.

96.

This would be great.

41.

Is that your second number here? Nope. Is your third? Nope Fourth? Nope Fifth? Nope Six? I don't know Love you guys The Easter Bunny has actually nothing to do with Christianity And was a pre-Christian pagan symbol Do you want to do one more? Yeah, let's do one more This counts counts.
17. 96.
Oh. I'm going to go 98.
18. This counts, Jake.
Official. 18.
But would you want... Oh, there's one less ball.
Would you want to win this? No.

77.

That was Friday's show.

Yeah, damn.

Back-to-back shows.

77.

Are we sure 69's still in there?

Yes, Billy.

69's still in there. I'm not to say I'll say it anyway.
Today is my day. I'm not a new child.
I'll be coming for your love, okay? Child. I'll be coming for your love, okay? Needless to say.
I'm not saying. I'm feeling so let away.
So heaven, life is okay. Say after me.
Thanks for that and you'll be safe and sorry. Say after me.
Thanks for that and you'd be safe and sorry Stay after me Thanks for that if you'd be safe and sorry You're me You're me You're me You're me You're me You're me You're me You're me You're me you Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Thank you. Take me Take on me

Take on me

Take me

Take on me

I love you

I love you

Take me I love you Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Take it on your day Take it on your day

Take it on your day

Take it on your day

Take it on your day Thank you. I'm ready.