Lamar Jackson Talk With Stavros Halkias, Dan Snyder Selling The Team, NFL Coach Picture, Hot Seat/Cool Throne + Guys On Chicks

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have our good friend Stavros Halkius. He's on to talk about Lamar, the Ravens, everything.
Also a little NBA thrown in there. Always fun to have him in studio.
Very funny takes on the entire situation. We have breaking news that the Washington Commanders might be officially finding a new owner.
So we'll get into that. We have Hot Seat Cool Throne.
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Boy! Boy! And then a lot of work to be done No place to hang out or wash in And then I can't blame all on the sun Oh no, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it It's a part of my take. Is ended by Barstool Sports.
Welcome to part of my take. Today is Wednesday, March 29th.
And PFT, the day has come. Even though Hank gave a little side eye when I said it.
The day has come. The Washington Commanders have found a new owner.
Congratulations to you. We all dressed up in suits for it i dressed up i wore

black to stunt on my biggest hater at his funeral fuck you dan snyder i fucking hate you i'm not

done with you yet i want you i want you arrested i want you to die in prison but i'll take you

selling the team for now i i almost cried when i heard the news i didn't think i was gonna get

emotional about it but the fact is that what dan snyder has done to Washington, D.C., the entire community for the past 25 years is nothing short of criminal. When this dude bought the team, 1998, whenever it was, we were pumped.
It was like when he was going to be our Mark Cuban. He bought the team and everyone was like, we got this young, flashy billionaire owner, not afraid to spend money.
Awesome dude. Probably chill with the fans.
He went out there. He spends money, right? He gets Deion Sanders.
He basically treats it like his fantasy team. He gets Mark Carrier.
He gets all sorts of guys. Jeff George, right off the bat.
We were stocked up, ready to go, won a playoff game our first year. And then we slowly got introduced to who the real Dan Snyder was.
And to call him a piece of shit is actually doing a disservice to actual pieces of shit out there. He's lower than a piece of actual cow excrement.
And what he's done over the last 25 years, the commanders, the Redskins at the time, it was like the one thing that held washington dc together and made a community sundays people would stop whatever they're doing the the redskins were a big deal we were a model franchise everyone loved the team and to see him tear that away from the entire community over the past 25 years through just being a real asshole like i wouldn't a real real ass sure he's not not is he there are tons of incompetent owners out there but he's a world class asshole and to see what he's done to that community in the past 25 years has been awful he took away my love of football for a brief period of time i think a lot of people in dc he took away their love of the sport of football and you love football and I love football despite everything that he's done to try to make me not love football and I always thought like if you give me truth serum we've been talking about Snyder on the show for seven years right now and if you give me truth serum I would have said in my deepest darkest portions of my mind I actually think that I'm going to die before Dan Snyderder sells the team i thought he's a billionaire he's going to be drinking endocrine he's going to be drinking what's the stuff that adrenochrome adrenochrome that the billionaires cracking baby skulls right by the neck sucking them down like they're fago i thought that snyder would outlive me and that i would die with dan snyder still owning the team and the fact that he's selling the team to Magic Johnson, awesome. Happy to have Magic Johnson on board.
I didn't think that it was ever going to happen, and it is one of the best days of my life. I would say Washington Capitals' Stanley Cup is day number one of my sports life.
Nationals World Series, probably number two. And then I would put Dan Snyder selling the team.
No. The day we got Barso Vantok? Yeah, that was a good day in my sports life.
Fuck it. I'm going to put this number one.
Okay. I think this is better.
Number one. I think this is a better day because it opens up the entire future of my football fandom.
And I get to love. You know what I actually hope happens? I hope that Josh Harris, Rails, and Magic Johnson, I hope they buy the team.
And I hope they're like, you know what? This name sucks. The commander sucks.
Nobody cares about it. Hogs.
And then I hope they say, okay, we need a year to figure out what the end name of the team is going to be. So we're going to go back to the football team for a year.
And then the year after that, they announced the new team name. Hogs would be great.
Red Hogs would be awesome. Red Hogs, just the Hogs, whatever it is.
Commanders, see you, bitch. Dan Snyder, bye, bitch.
Retire, bitch. I hope you die in prison.
And we're going to throw a parade. I'm in touch with my people in D.C.
We're going to do a parade celebrating Dan Snyder out. I mean, it's incredible.
New stadium, new name, new franchise, everything. Bring it back to D.C.
So the exact tweet from Adam Schefter was the Josh Harris Mitchell Rails group, which now includes, oh, he has a typo in here. He said which now includes Magic Johnson, officially has submitted a fully financed bid that meets Dan Snyder's $6 billion asking price per source.
Now, Hank, I saw you scoff at it. Are you not a good friend? I'm a great friend.
To who? To you. To you.
Love you, PFT. Obviously obviously we're wearing the suits you know i'm more on the on the business floor because i saw this tweet yeah like you know i've been around a deal or two in my day and and i i think nothing's official till it's signed yeah that's my only concern especially pft is the boy who cried wolf with this situation so it's like when the amount of times i've walked in the studio and you're like yes did you see like dan snyder selling the team like oh my god like did you see like the commanders like you know that may have happened so i did i popped champagne until i see the picture of magic johnson in you know in washington signing the paper new owner it's that's when it's official in my mind it's actually a great lesson lesson for the show that just came back on Sunday, Succession, the show that's about deal-making.
I don't think we've ever seen a deal actually get made. No, we haven't.
It's been four years of dudes sitting in a conference room or a really sick hotel or a private airplane being like, well, we just got to tickle the belly a little bit and get this deal done, and no deal ever gets made. So I love PFT.
I just don't want to see him get hurt again. The Washington Commanders franchise has been run like succession of everybody involved was Kieran Culkin's character.
Yeah. He's all sending dick pictures to each other all the time.
They're just jerking off to their older coworkers. Hank, you're wrong about this one.
It's done. You're wrong, Hank.
As Big Cat said, the bad man's gone.

The bad man's gone.

This has been an awesome month for part of my take just slaying our enemies.

Listen, I'm fully supporting PFT.

He didn't fully support me when Aaron Rodgers was gone, even though he's gone.

You need to get in line.

Support the man.

I will, once it's signed.

Be a good friend.

He's gone.

I'm trying to help him.

I'm trying to prepare him. He's gone.
He's gone. We did it.
We did it, Joe. He's gone.
One tweet. Yeah, that's from Adam Schefter.
What if the finances are fucked up? What if they go into... No, it's fully financed.
They already said finance take care of it. What if they look into the commanders like, oh wait, this is not worth $6 billion.
We're out. There's definitely some fuzzy math behind the scenes.
I don't like the energy Hank's putting out in the world. It's bad energy, but whatever.
This is just suit life. You guys understand now.
How many deals do you get done? Plenty. And they list all your deals.
I can't. That's confidential.
Okay. Max.
Mid-five figures worth of deals. Josh Harris is the face of this new ownership group.
The biggest name, the first name listed. It just occurred to me, actually actually because of Hank's...
Also, Dan Snyder hasn't accepted the bid. No, it's met his asking price.
But what's getting... Alright, now Hank is starting to get in my head because I'm thinking like, whoa.
What's getting me nervous now? What's getting me very nervous now? Like eBay, you can make a bid. But they have to accept it.
We should find a super cut of every time PFT is like it's over. That would be funny.
It's been three years. It's been first and goal.
PFT, I'm trying to stay strong for you, but Hank's starting to fucking get in my head here. What's making me nervous is that what if this is another Schefter prank on me? Oh, man.
He did do the spell check. That'd be ruthless.
Or he did have a spelling error. Yeah.
He's in my head. But, Max, as a Sixers fan, Josh Harris is also the owner of the Sixers and the Devils.
Can you give me a scouting report on Josh Harris? Two teams currently in free fall. Shut the fuck up, Hank.
Free fall. I'm on Max's team now.
Yeah. Free fall.
I mean, we're basically brothers in arms right now with owners. Well, no.
Yeah. No.
Because this will get into a situation where if you own two teams, which one does he care about more? It's kind of like a Jerry Reinsdorf situation with the White Sox and Bulls. You got to have a favorite child.
He's also his third team. Right.
Well, I would assume devils are not his favorite child. Yeah, true.

So what will be his favorite child?

He's from D.C.

But what will be his favorite child?

I think the hometown boy.

Okay, all right, good.

Good.

I'm rooting for you.

So now Max, though, will be upset because, Max, money that's going into the commanders

will be coming out of the Sixers.

That's how it works.

The bottom line is it can't be worse.

I would have taken anybody.

I think you threw out Putin to me as a suggestion like six months ago.

Yeah, give me Vlad.

Give me Vlad.

It was... of the Sixers.
That's how it works. The bottom line is it can't be worse.
I would have taken anybody. You could, I think you threw out Putin to me as a suggestion like six months ago.
Yeah. Give me Vlad.
Give me Vlad. At least he dominates.
He would spend the money. At least he dominates the East.
Yeah. And he also would be sick quarterback because no one would tackle.
That's true. I would have taken literally anybody on planet earth over Dan Snyder.
I don't care who it is. So it's, it's big news.
I'm happy for you. Thank you thank you uh we're all wearing suits the other big news which we'll talk to with Stav in length uh in a minute here is Lamar Jackson demanded a trade as of March 2nd uh if you missed it credit to all of the uh NFL reporters that quote tweeted Lamar Jackson's tweet saying Lamar Jackson has asked for a trade as of March 2nd, just looking for automatic retweets on someone else.
Actually, Lamar Jackson's tweet saying Lamar Jackson has asked for a trade as of March 2nd just looking for automatic retweets on someone else actually Lamar Jackson himself saying what the deal was but yeah we now have Lamar Jackson news around the you know it's the news cycle of Lamar Jackson yeah and apparently nobody has asked has asked to even inquire about what it would take to get Lamar Jackson yeah team just yet which. Which is weird.
There's some dark horses out there, some stalking horses, some unnamed bidders. Yes.
That we'll get into Stavi with that a little bit about. But it's been a really weird saga for Lamar in Baltimore.
And it feels like there's a chance. They don't have to trade him if they don't want to.
They don't't but it also sounds like lamar is not going to play

on the transition tag so we could end up being a situation where lamar comes back to the ravens and just doesn't play at all next year which would suck which would suck for everybody for everyone um much fun to watch but who knows a lot of stuff can happen between now and the start of camp and he uh released the news perfect timing when john harbaugh was getting in front of a microphone at the owner's meeting.

We had the classic coach's picture, which is still the funniest thing in the world,

that they just trot out a bunch of gruntled middle-aged NFL coaches and stare directly in the sun,

and all of you take a picture like you're friends.

It was very funny.

My favorite of that whole group was the combo of McVay and LeFleur sitting next to each other yes looking like they had just been partying and sean payton just laying dong sean payton's cock was oh i didn't see oh yeah he he he not only he had a he had a seat for himself and his cock because he made ron rivera scoot over to basically sit in two seats i'm gonna have to look at the i didn't i didn't do a deep dive into it. I zoomed in on the center of the picture, and then I was like...
Yeah, check it out. Sean Payton's laying dong.
Then I thought, I'm going to wait for Kyle Brandt's breakdown of this picture to come out, because that's what I set my watch to every year. The authority.
Andy Reid sitting where... I broke it down, but Andy Reid had his hands on his knees, which I feel bad for Andy Reid because any big guy knows having your arms forward is just a terrible look.
You need to have him behind the person next to you. But he and Belichick sitting front and center.
Good to see Belichick in the picture, Hank. I feel like he hasn't been in the picture for a long time.
I know. He knows he's getting Lamar, so he's excited.
Oh. Oh, yeah.
Peyton's got a hog. He's got a hog, and he basically was like, Rivera, scoot over.
I need some room for my dick. Yeah, that's the horse cock.
That's why the Broncos won. The whole picture was great because also Dennis Allen, if you notice, he's the only one wearing a credential.
Because I think he was like, I have to prove that I'm actually the head coach of the Saints now that Sean Peyton's back. And then the only other big one, you can go check out my blog.
Dable. Dable.
Oh, Dable looks like an actual meatball. Dayball looks like he's in Goodfellas right now.
Yeah, no, I said he's got the track suit on. He basically, like, he's just waiting for Sopranos to come back so he can do a cameo with them.
Nick Sirianni wasn't there, though. I think he probably was like, everyone's going to talk about the fact that I cried before the Super Bowl that I lost.
Yeah, there's that. So he didn't show up.

Dan Campbell could beat the fuck out of anybody in this picture.

Dan Campbell doesn't own an iron.

Dan Campbell doesn't own an iron.

Also, no one ever told him in his life that wearing the shirt you buy off the rack and

you have it unbuttoned and it's a dress shirt and it's down to your knees is a ridiculous

look.

But I don't think anyone should tell Dan Campbell that because he would probably punch him in the face. Kevin O'Connell is fucking huge.
That was the other takeaway. Kevin O'Connell standing next to Dan Campbell.
He's a monster. I didn't realize how big he is.
Big dude. Huge dude.
Yeah, I got him confused for a second there. I thought there's a couple newbies.
A couple newbies. Jonathan Gannonane steichen who yeah he's he's got a look uh doug peterson looking like he is mr florida right now doug doug peterson when he's not on a football field he's on a golf course doug peterson has not been inside for the last three years i i was saying that doug peterson looks like a guy who like uh had a life insurance business and he got a lucky break and a big dog bought him out and he's like i'm just gonna go to florida and marlin fish and swing with my wife for the rest of my life he looks like the mascot for margaritaville yeah he's he's just a vibe the the zach taylor line was i laughed out loud probably the hardest in the whole blog oh zach taylor's wearing roback shout out roback he was promo code take 220 off that's all i said i was like he's a super positive with impeccable fashion sense, cheering on his kids at the soccer game.
That's him wearing Robac. Yeah.
And then Brandon Staley looks like a, I think I said, he looked like a youth church leader who kind of creeps you out. Cause he's got a look that like, dude, just figure out Justin Herbert.
Just, just, he's got it. Like you don't have to be jacked, but I feel like you're going to be coaching, you know, coaching guys.
You got to have some type of figure. My guy, Matt Eberflus, has some pecs.
Even, you know, even Matt LaFleur, like, you just have to have, you don't have to be, like, jacked, but you have to look like you're fit. Right.
And Zach- Or either you have to look like you're fit, or you have to have a Super Bowl ring, and you can be fat. Right.
Brandon Staley's got, like, my physique, skinny, and it's like, all right, come on. Remember when he did those butt yoga things? Yeah, yeah.
No, that's the cat cow pose. I'm zoomed in right now on Sean Payton.
Sean Payton looks like if Macklemore was in Top Gun. He also, we also had, I kind of missed on Josh McDaniels, who I think just keeps gaining 20 pounds every offseason, but someone pointed out correctly that Josh McDaniels does look like a state trooper that is a little corrupt he's got that look to him like if he pulls you over you're like fuck i'm fucked he's gonna ding me for everything or in a good way if he pulls you over you're like nothing this is nothing that 500 can't fix right now that's true let's save both of ourselves a lot of paperwork yeah let me just hand you the weed and you can just take it home with you.
The funniest part about this picture is how many coaches have sunglasses that are not being worn right now. And they always take it directly in the sun.
Yeah. They don't give them any benefits.
Arthur Smith looks like a baby cow that's been kept inside of a small box his entire life and is getting to see the sun for the first time in his life he he he's giving off vibes of a guy who wears jeans to the beach that's that's it's it's bad do you hear from any of these coaches after you read that blog i was thinking that yesterday because obviously those meetings are probably having dinner or something like there's a there's a good chance that yeah they all yeah they all read it together and like and and i'm curious what that feedback is yeah if any some of of them are probably not happy. I would imagine Brandon Staley, I basically, yeah, but he would have a fair gripe.
And Kevin Stefanski, our friend, just wearing, like trying to be the cool guy with Jordans. Yeah, but yeah, if some of them hit me up, it's all good fun.
We have fun with it. You could take a little roasting.
Mike McCarthy looks like his daughter is getting married to a man that he has never liked a day in his life. No.
I'd say that he's 90% fart in that picture. His body's just composed to fart.
He's getting ready. That was probably the meanest one.
This was probably the meanest one. I don't think Mike McCarthy already thinks highly of you anyway.
No, no, definitely not. But what am I going to say? I looked at him.
I was like, that guy is like, if you did the 23andMe test, it would be like 10% Irish, 90% fart. That's it.
It looks like there's a preacher right off screen saying, if anybody objects to this couple being wed, speak down. He's about to put his hands on his knees and stand right up slowly.
He's about to just have an all-out brawl with the wedding planner over the bill after a beautiful ceremony. Everyone had a great time, and he's like, I didn't fucking pay for this.
Who put on the ice luge? Andy Reid's lost a lot of weight everywhere except for his legs. Yeah.
His legs are just still thick as ever. Yeah, it's where the power comes.
Ron Rivera's been working out, too. Yeah.
Alright, so what else we got? The little NBA. Oh, by the way, MLB is starting.
We're going to do... Do we pick a team that we're...
Pick a league? Jake? Are we going to do a league? I gave one to you guys, but I don't think we fully confirmed. Should we just do a league ourselves? That was a joke.
Oh. That was a joke? I was joking.
I don't know where... Never mind.
What? No, never mind. Say it.
Never mind. Say it.
I do think if we did a league ourselves, it would be too hard to update without it getting confusing for the listeners. But what...
Can we do it publicly that people can see? Maybe. Big Cat cats come out of the clouds with a passion for fancy baseball that i was not prepared for i was kind of joking where i was like yeah let's all do a league and here's what it is should i'll explain it to you the last few years i feel like you were like why are we talking about fancy baseball i'll explain it to you i have less time to follow some sports baseball being one on the cutting.
I need something where I can learn some of the other players and be like, hey, I know some of these guys outside of the Cups. That makes sense.
90% of my baseball knowledge in the past two years has come from strictly owning the C-Med Express. Yeah.
And it is good. And I fucking hate Mondesi.
We're not drafting Mondesi. That guy has a walking injury.
I hate that guy. He's a piece of shit.
But this is for but this is for the listeners yeah so that so that in that case then maybe we should all do a team because then i you know that would apply to all of us right exactly if we all if we all know a little bit more about baseball i think the podcast might get a little bit better there's too many names though i think we take it worse i think we draft i think we draft one one team and that way we're all behind the same 15, 20 guys all year. Right? How many guys are on a team? Max just said that.
I'd rather play you guys because I know you won't keep up with it as much as I would. Oh, I'm going to fucking dominate it.
We all were on the same page. All right, we're starting a league.
We're starting a league for us. We're starting a league for us.
So no AWL league?

No, there's six of us in the room.

We'll add Shane and Evan, so there'll be eight teams.

I think you can do a league with eight teams.

Our teams will be awesome.

Yeah.

With eight teams.

What MLB guys should we invite?

Should we invite Dan Heron?

Yeah, we'll invite Dan Heron.

Or memes will be nine.

Oh, memes will be nine, so Dan Heron will be ten.

Or we'll find a tenth person.

And we also should do the draft after the season starts, So we all can get a look at the teams. Okay.
Can we do the thing that Max said, which was like the whole team's pitching rotation instead of individuals? Oh, I like that. Yeah.
Then we don't have to update it every day. Yeah.
Okay. Yeah.
That's the thing that I've found. Like switching out pitchers every day is where fantasy baseball becomes impossible.
I like that. There is a way where it's like picking defense.
Well, we can do weekly. For football.
We can do weekly. Yeah, so you put in your pitching staff and then that's it.
I love that. I love that.
All right, so we're going to do it. And the listeners are going to be better off for it because essentially what you'll get out of this is we'll say a random name every now and then.

And we actually know the person a little bit.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Can we call the league,

the seam head express?

Sure.

That's actually great.

Cause we got,

um,

our guy Triggs came up with an awesome design,

like a logo.

Yeah.

We should sell shirts with the seam head express on it.

And then you know what we'll do.

Let's,

let's,

let's,

uh,

let's invite an AWL.

Let's invite an AWL to play in the league.

One lucky AWL gets to play with us.

Are we going to do punishments?

Yeah, we'll figure all that shit out.

So we're doing the same submission?

No, let's actually pick from one of the guys that emailed you.

We'll let one of those guys be in the league.

How about this?

Yeah.

How about this?

We should put out a tweet tonight before the episode drops. Everybody pick a number if you want to join in our fantasy league, and only somebody that gets the number right on the lottery machine.
Yeah, we'll find that person. Yeah.
So we'll have a lucky AWL play in our league. That would be great.
Look at that. And then the random guy in our fantasy league will have gotten the ball before Hank got it.
Yeah, Jakes, you're going to have to set up the league. I got it.
Okay, so you're going to have to set that all up. We're going to have to figure that all out.
We'll take care of it. We're going to have to do a draft.
We'll do a live stream draft. Tell me when you want to draft.
On the part of my take, YouTube. I think next week we should draft after we get to see.
I'm not going to be here next week. Oh, jeez.
We're not doing auction. No.
Okay, good. Good.
Although that'd be fun. It takes way too long.
Yeah, it takes way too long. And I have no idea what to bid on most of these players.
Yeah, same. I might just draft the entire Angels roster.
They're awesome. They're going to be so good this year.
Yes. Yes.
That would be, yeah, just all Angels. The last couple years, I've come up with a proprietary system to gamble on Major League Baseball.
Two years ago, it was awesome. Fade the Pirates.
And every single... It made so much money.
I think I'm going to fade the A's all year long. So it's going to be a combo, a parlay bet of the under and taking the A's.
I think it's either to lose Moneyline or lose by one and a half runs. I like it.
I feel like the A's are going to win 42 games this year. Maybe less.
The only other thing I have before we get to Hot Seat Cool Throne, do we want to talk just a quick recap of the fact that the Sixers have just been the worst team in the NBA since Max? It could be a transition if you want. Okay.
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Hank, hot seat, cool trunk.

My hot seat is the Philadelphia 76ers.

Oh, interesting.

Why?

They're in a complete free fall.

Lost four out of the last five.

They played Jokic.

Everyone's talking about Embiid versus Jokic for MVP.

Embiid wasn't even man enough to play.

James Harden also didn't play. Kind of a bullshit excuse like calf soreness or something.

Do they control their own destiny?

They don't control their own destiny. At this point, everyone's talking about Sixers, Celtics, second-round series.
The way things are going for the Sixers, it might be a first-round series, which would be exciting. Is that true, Max? You've got to get healthy.
Regular season, NBA. Soreness? You've got to get less sore.
Oh, no, sorry. Harden was so soreness and Bede was tightness.
And Bede was rest. Embrace the bait.
Would you rather be sore or tight? Rest against the guy. You know, that's where it's like, not my NBA.
You're an MVP candidate. The guy that's probably gonna win the MVP, you have a chance to go head to head with him and prove to the haters why you're the MVP and you just sit out because you're tight.
The updated odds. Right calf tight? Updated odds are Embiid is the favorite now.
Right, but then he didn't show up. Well, the last time they played, Embiid absolutely ate his launch.
Was that like months ago? It was probably like a month ago, and Sixers won. How's it been going since? You know, it's a rough stretch.
You know, we're trying something different this year. Load management.
Yeah, I mean, at the end of the year, normally we play really well in the regular season. Everyone gives it all.
They're all in the regular season. By playoff time, they're in a drought.
So this year, we're trying something different. And, you know, I'm all for trying something different right now.
Max, there is something to that. Like, you don't want to win the President's Trophy, right? You want to be peaking at the right time.
Right. And we've done that before.
Yeah. And we've peaked at the wrong time.
And now we're just getting everyone ready for the thing that actually matters. The big dance.
The NBA playoffs I'm so excited for because it's absolute chaos in terms of seating, especially in the West where it's like the Warriors might play in the playing game i mean the kings light the beam they're they're third like there's gonna be some crazy matchups in the first round t wolves are looking frisky t wolves are all the way back up to six yeah so i in the middle of the night so i i uh i took an ambient last night i i take ambient like twice a year but didn't really sleep much the two nights before that so i was like, okay, I'm going to go to bed at 930, wake up super refreshed the next day. I woke up at about like 1130, 1145, and I put a future on the Timberwolves.
15 plus 15,000 on these guys. And they beat the Kings.

Something is not adding up fully

with that number and what you're proposing.

What are you talking about?

What is the future on?

On the Timberwolves to win the NBA championship.

Oh.

You were telling it.

You were in the room, Max.

You were telling me they just had to win two series.

No, I'm saying if they win two series, then you can hedge out

and make a shitload of money.

What happened to your Nuggets?

Yeah, no.

No, I'm still on my Nuggets.

I got my future on Nuggets.

I mean, that's not going to happen.

What, the T-Wall?

They're not going to win the championship.

They could play the Kings.

You never know.

They could play the Kings first round.

You never know.

And then second round, they could play the Grizzlies,

and we've seen that they can play with the Grizzlies last year in the playoffs. So they win two and all of a sudden i'm sitting on a gold mine over here you never know they also could lose you don't respect minnesota they could also miss the whole playoffs that's i did not calculate that into my analysis like the the seating in the uh west five through ten they are two and a half games apart.
All those seeds. Right.
So it's pretty nuts. T-Wolves are hot.
So any team could drop out. And it's actually 5 through 11 because the Mavericks are sitting right there too.
So who knows? It's going to be fun. I'm excited.
And the Bulls are going to be in a playing game. I'm going to get myself pumped up for that.
You got to make shirts if they win. Playing game champions.
Yeah. Oh, definitely.
I got a lot of. Imagine if Pat Pev does it again.

Yeah.

Wins a playoff game and then goes nuts.

Mr. Playing.

Playing P.

The Badgers tonight.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

I appreciate that.

I did a poll.

Just a random poll.

Would you rather be invited or selected to something?

And 55% said they'd rather be invited.

So the NIT is my championship.

And if they win, I have the best NIT bracket in the world. They they win the whole thing now i'm kind of rooting against them god damn it in the world yeah now i don't want the bad you know that why how can i teach how do you possibly how are you possibly able to do that because i filled out a bracket no no no but you you having being able to say a perfect bracket it's like perfect jake gets to walk around saying is NIT perfect bracket or my team wins the NIT.
I think I'd rather them lose now. All right.
No, I want them to win. Okay.
Yeah. All right.
I'll drop a six shirt. Oh, what's your cold run? Oh, Billy.
No, I just had a question for Max. Are you still like trusting the process? Is that still like a thing? Good question.
Good question, Billy. I think that was the greatest Ponzi scheme of all time.

Good question, Billy.

We've talked about this.

The process is right.

I trust the process of the process over the results of the process.

Max, do you trust the process?

Yes.

The process worked.

The process got the Sixers into a situation to be contenders in the NBA.

What the fuck is the process for?

Because that's the whole thing with the NBA. If you stick around the 8th seed, 7th seed, you're stuck in there forever.
So it's like, yes, it didn't result in a championship and probably will not result in a championship, but I'd rather have the idea of possibly getting to a championship than being in the 7th, 8th seed every fucking year because that is way more frustrating as a fan. The problem is the process hasn't hit in the process of selecting players via the process.
Wrong. Joel Embiid.
Yeah, well, he's process adjacent and now he's sitting out games. I would, Billy, like right now the Bulls are in the 10th spot, so they'd be in the play-in to potentially get the 8th spot, right? I would much rather the Bulls be the worst team in the league and get Victor Wimbaniata's something about being a fan for the worst team in the NBA that is like even more it's more fun than being a middling team because you have like a couple young guys that that's all you care about is them playing well no being in the no man's land of like making the play-in and and it sucks like it sucks like when the Sixers just had Drew Holiday and Thaddeus Young that were like the stars of the team who are good players and good role players, it was so boring to watch them.
They should do a playoff after the season for all the teams that don't make the playoffs and then just have the winner of that get the first overall seed or first overall pick. That would be cool.
Your cool throw? My cool throw is Meek Mill. Yes.
Philly guy, king of Philly. Everyone knows that.
He is working on getting Lamar Jackson to the Patriots. Shout out to Meek Mill.
We talk about that with Stavros in a little bit. He gets very upset.
Yeah, he texted Robert Kraft and Robert Kraft was like, yeah, well, that's a Belichick question. So Meek Mill's working the phones.
Very upset at you. Yeah, you're right.
I appreciate that. very upset at you sometimes you know it's always it's like it just you think there's all these things going on it's like it may be sometimes it just took a text from meek mill to open those doors yeah yeah yeah that'd be awesome all right pft your hot seat cool thrown my hot seat is visors visors are on the hot seat uh i think it was golf digest had a study and they say for the first time in like 40 years, nobody in professional golf that's in the top 20 is a visor guy.
No one wears visors anymore on the tour. Visors are a good look.
I think we need to bring back visors. Damn.
When I think of like all the best players growing up. Steve Spurrier.
Steve Spurrier. Well, yeah, that's the thing.
It's like football coaches have really swagger jacked the visor look yeah from professional golfers but we need one guy maybe

maybe brooks just needs to become a visor guy just change things up that'd be nice he's got

the sick hair he's got the blonde coming out the top i might become a visor guy and just wear those

visors with the fake hair on top yes that's always a funny look but yeah visors are on the hot seat

big time my cool throne is u.s soccer because we beat granada 7-1 hell yes uh and then we won

We'll be is back. And Gio Reyna is playing.
So we put the world on notice, or at least El Salvador and Granada, two soccer powerhouses. Yes.
And we've gone back-to-back against them, and now we get to play in the Confederations champions league of CONCACAF, Northern America or whatever it is. Yeah.
We're going to play. It's always, it's always going to be all roads lead to us versus Mexico in a big game.
Yes. So Sarah, I think we get to play against Mexico and Las Vegas.
Yes. Yes.
I don't know how that works, but USA is back big time. I love it.
I love it. Okay.
My hot seat uh the nba in general because did you guys see brawny jr dunking over bryce last night shit was lightweight hilarious i mean lightweight hilarious like he all these guys in the league like they low-key suck yeah and and we got brawny dump dunking over bryce the next next man up league is in good hands yeah absolutely with the James gang. I would love to see them play on the same team together.
All three.

Yeah. That would be sick.
That would be

so sick. You think LeBron, like,

when he went to the steroid doctor in Germany,

brought Bronny with him?

Probably. Well, we won't know, because

as soon as the offseason happens, LeBron

doesn't talk to us.

Which was the funniest.

Out of all... Did you not see that? Well, we talked about it on monday how we saw the lebron james of foot doctors and he also said they asked him like are you going to get surgery in the offseason he's like if i do you guys won't know because i don't talk to y'all it's like you're going to post it the second you get a fucking in like a surgery and you're going to be like the grind is back it'll be like no one has ever recovered from the surgery as fast as I recovered.

You're going to let us know instantly when you get surgery.

Yeah.

If you're LeBron James and hypothetically, if you had been taking HGH steroids, whatever

the case might be over the course of your entire career, do you tell your son that as

your son enters the NBA or does the dad instinct to always be able to beat your son in basketball

supersede that and you're like, I'm not going to share that with him because I need to always be able to dominate Bronny. Yeah.
I think I would personally, I'm not a father except for my hypothetical son. In which case, I would not tell Chris ever that I was on steroids because I just love dunking.
Yeah, I'd love to just beat him forever. Yeah.
Yeah. Back him down.
LeBron, yeah. If LeBron's got that dog in him.
He wouldn't do it. He would back him down at 60.
Yep. lebron's got that dog in him he wouldn't do it

he would he would back him down at 60 yep like i'm still the king yep uh my cool throne is uh still blue on amazon so we are on amazon now and we're running a special deal you leave a review please rate and review i've heard that helps subscribe subscribe rate and review but seriously please do leave a review

on Amazon.

Billy. My hot seat is

Bounty Hunters. helps subscribe subscribe rate and review but seriously please subscribe resubscribe leave a review on amazon uh billy my hot seat is bounty hunters everywhere yes chiefsaholic cut off his ankle bracelet and is currently on the loose in the state of oklahoma probably heading towards mexico uh so chiefsaholic if you don't remember uh he was the bank robbing superfan who was then released on bail from prison and actually attended the Super Bowl.
That was the last time he was seen in public. The judge allowed him to travel on a family trip to the Super Bowl and he attended the Super Bowl and he also just cashed in a huge Kansas City Super Bowl future that he had.
What a legend. This guy's got a...
Such a legend.

Robbed multiple banks. He's got

a good amount of cash in his pocket, and

he's on the loose. He's a political prisoner.

If he gets to Mexico... Like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance

Kid. How come we celebrate

bank robbers in movies?

Jesse James, Butch Cassidy,

but we vilify Chiefs of Holler.

We gotta buy the rights to this movie. His only crime is

armed robbery. Yeah.
We gotta buy the rights to this movie. His only crime is armed robbery.
Yeah. We got to buy the rights to this movie.
Are you going to find him? I was wondering. I have a bounty hunter in Oklahoma who is willing to bring me on a ride along.
I don't know whether to chase him. Wait, dog's not going after him? No chance of getting him.
Yeah, there's no chance of getting him. Billy, you should chase him.
I would like to chase him. Can I go chase him? Yeah, but I'm just letting you know you're not going to find him unless Dog is involved.
If Dog wants to collab, Dog is ready. Always.
If you want to collab, I know a lot about him. Wait, but Billy, aren't you on his side? I don't know.
Because why would you want to bring him to justice? This is like the town. What's better better content me being on his side or me chasing him I could see you robbing a bank with him would be the best that video would be the most viral video in the history of the show I could see Billy pulling up to him in the bounty hunter car and seeing Chiefsaholic in the full wolf uniform looking at him and then turning his head the other way slowly like the guy from the town yeah yeah no i think you also in a wolf yeah no i think you need to find him with the bounty hunter and then when you get him you arrest the bounty hunter or yeah or chiefs fans everywhere should just you should show solidarity with chiefsaholic you should all get dressed up in wolf costumes and just drive super fast all around oklahoma and texas and throw people off the scent they can't arrest.
I think that's what I got to do. I got to go put my wolf costume on and then just start running around Oklahoma and try to be a distraction.
Listen, you know who else attacked moneylenders? Jesus Christ, right? And he's a pretty good guy. Chiefsaholic, just modern-day Christ.
Yeah. He is definitely Billy's Messiah.
No, but can I go down there? Yeah, go For a long time Let's see the plan Let's see the deck And then we can go Let me put the deck together The thing is hopefully he doesn't get caught before I finish the deck That's a race against time And you have to be an agent first Well, looked into that we'll get into that in the stop okay all right yeah i need twenty five hundred dollars all right there you go you said it right at that time yeah billy wouldn't stop when we asked him he's like i need 2.5 k i was trying to wait what because when you say 2.5 people like oh that's a lot that could be like millions I'm like, K. But then you say the denomination.
Yeah, and then they're like, oh, I need $2.5. But then it's still $2,500, which sounds way more than 2.5K.
2,500. It's low four figures.
Yeah. All right.
Your cool throne? Oh, no. My cool throne is fishing competitions.
Justice has finally been served. Hell, yes.
Remember that story from way back when of those ice fishermen? Oh, not ice fishermen. There's weights in the fish.
Put the weights in the fish. They have pleaded guilty to the crimes.
Good. Pleaded guilty to putting weights inside a fish.
Which everyone saw on the video. Yes.
What kind of prison time goes along with putting weights into a fish? I think they're still waiting on sentencing. Okay.
But justice has been served.

The fishing competitions are still sacred.

That's good.

Love it.

Thank you, Billy.

Do you think you played a part in that

and bringing them to justice?

I think so.

You put them under a pretty big national microscope.

I know.

Thank you.

A lot of criminals involve these stories.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right, Jake.

My hot seat, Major League Baseball umpires. One of the most ridiculous ejections you'll ever see in a spring training game on Monday.
The home plate umpire ejected JT Real Muto for – he dropped the ball into his mitt. Real Muto put his mitt backwards to try to get a ball from the umpire.
And then right before the umpire dropped the ball, Riomuto pulled his glove back. So like basically like the handshake to your head.
Yeah, he thought it was trying to embarrass him. Yeah, and he just tossed him right away.
It was awesome. He did download too slow to him up and get ejected for it.
But it wasn't even intentional, I don't think. I respect that umpire.
I wasn't looking at him. I respect the umpire.
Listen, it's spring training for blue, too, right? Yeah. So they're still getting their shit together right now.
I love when umps are like, just people come out here to watch me. But, again, it's kind of like with Foster in the NBA.
I want one umpire to be like that and the rest to be good. I just want one wild card.
Yes. Agreed.
Agreed. Yeah.
So that was tough. My cool throne is attempting to get out of speeding tickets uh someone in minnesota handed a cop a monopoly get out of jail free card to try to get out of a ticket it didn't work but good job should have worked genius move yeah yeah comedic effect you saw this billy if it wasn't for body cams that guy would have gotten off so easy yeah the cop would have been like, this is awesome.
Great job. All right.
Good job, Jake. Let's get to stop.
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All right, here he is, our good friend Stavros. Okay, we now welcome on our very good friend.
It is Stavros Halkius. What's up, boys? He texted me and was like, I got to talk Lamar.
I got to go to therapy. This fucking sucks.
We were planning on having you on anyway sometime soon, so this worked out perfect. Yeah, not for you it did.
For the whole fucking league that needs a quarterback, except the Baltimore Ravens it did. Yeah.
So where do you want to start? I mean, like... I would like to start here.
Steve Bishotti and Eric DaCosta have fucked the city of Baltimore in its ass. That's where I would like to start.
The fucking treatment of Lamar Jackson is inexcusable, dude. What the fuck? How the fuck are we going to lose Lamar over nothing? So like a year and a half ago, we started to see how they were like communicating with Lamar and handling Lamar and shit.
It's fucking horrible. And he would just, he would be out of practice for a couple of days and then Harbaugh would be asked about it.
This is like 2021. Yeah, dude.
And Harbaugh would be like, yeah, you know, I'm not real sure what the issue with Lamar is right now. It was real strange going back then.
I know. It's been, you know, it is like when you just know your girlfriend is starting to cheat on you.
That's what it's like. You know you're losing a woman that's much hotter than you, and it's like, oh, she's been going to the gym more than usual.
Yeah. I mean, like, oh, that's good.
I mean, I guess health is fine. You know, and that was like the beginning of like the weird communication.
She's got some new clothes. New clothes.
Oh, her and her friend at the office seem to be pretty chummy but he's got a he's got a girlfriend so i'm not worried she's trying to get you into the gym right right yeah like hey why don't we work out together why don't you make a long-term commitment to me and i'm like i don't know i mean let me play the field a little bit longer that's really what the ravens have been dude it's like a fucking fat guy with a little ass dick who's got a hot girlfriend we lucked into lamar should never have fallen to us we got lucky because the league is racist essentially right everyone thought he was a fucking running back for real we got lucky because the dundalk character that i do is how half of the gms think and he fell to us for no fucking reason and then we just fucking have taken him for granted this really is like my my dating life. That's maybe why this is so triggering to me.
It's like every hot girl I've dated, I've treated her like the Ravens have treated Lamar. And now this is like, I'm at the point, you know when you send like emails after a girl's broken up with you? And you're like, just one more thing.
I'm sorry. I just need to get this off my chest.
I respect your decision. And really you're hoping that's going to be the thing She's like, oh my god This long rambling email that I got at 4am Is what changed my mind Oh, he really loves me even though he non-exclusive franchise tagged me Now he told me I could go look for others You're like bargaining right now Maybe we're at a good spot in our relationship Where when he comes back to Baltimore We'll have a tribute video for him And he'll wave to all of us I'm still I mean I know it's not happening But I'm still like nah dude They're going to work it out It's not a big deal It's like he's going to talk it through We're going to give him all the guaranteed money he wants It's all a silly thing we're going to put behind us Meanwhile you know He's fucking looking for condos He's probably looking for condos in like Miami right now As we speak The next quarterback you draft You're're going to put behind us.
Meanwhile, you know, he's fucking looking for condos. He's probably looking for condos in, like, Miami right now as we speak.
The next quarterback you draft, you're just going to treat him like shit from the get-go. I can't have my heart broken.
This guy fucking sucks. Don't get emotionally involved.
All right, so what about, well, there's a couple things that could happen here. But let's first start with, like, Lamar's gone, okay? So that happens.
Let's just say he's gone.

Come on.

Are you buying the Chris Mortensen?

Because this is one of my favorite parts of the NFL is the machine that's behind the owners.

Because Lamar said, I've asked for a trade March 2nd, and Chris Mortensen came out, like, I don't know, a few hours later being like, you know, he's a great player.

But there are questions about his diet and his sleep schedule. know dude it's like come on the fucking the guy won mvp when joe burrow was fucking sucking on coach o's nuts still you know what i mean like he was fucking he was so young so good and we're talking about his sleep schedule okay he shit himself he got covet eight times and he shit himself during a.
Whatever. It's fine.
I want my quarterback to be fucking weird and kind of dumb in every other place but football. Lamar's awesome.
He's hilarious. And, yeah, he's a fucking 20-whatever-year-old super athlete.
Sometimes it takes those guys. They do have to transition into, oh, I'm 29.
My body is a little bit mortal now. Yeah, right.
But those guys, they make the fucking connect. They figure it out.
Yeah. So the diet, you're not worried about the diet? Because I saw that and I was like, red flag.
He shouldn't even be in the league. I'm worried about the sleep schedule for him.
I want my quarterback like Aaron Rodgers staying up for three days at a time. Put him in the darkest retreat.
Doing ayahu. Yeah.
Yeah. I want a quarterback that doesn't sleep.
Yeah. Oh, he eats a couple fucking hot Cheetos every once in a while.
Who gives a fuck? Yeah. He's fucking awesome.
The timing was so weird yesterday, too. I don't know if that was a coincidence.
Oh, it was not a coincidence. Maybe Lamar is the smartest human being on earth.
I think he's probably. I think.
OK. What this feels like to me is like.
Well, first of all, Lamar not having his own agent is a weird wrinkle. Yes.
Right? Because – but they are – they – that's kind of – it was almost smart because he – if you don't have your own agent, the team should, if they're smart, treat you with more respect than they would with an agent. Because an agent, it's like you can throw out a disrespectful offer and that's the guy's job to never – so it never gets to it never gets to you.
You never hear the first offer. But Lamar's heard every bargaining tactic.
And really, once he decided no agent, they should have just been like, he's our franchise player. He's got us by the balls.
Let's fuck it. All right, we might have to overpay a little bit.
Or we'll just have to make this quicker than most negotiations. So that's one of the weird things.
It's also, I do think the owners, it's very funny because I don't actually think the owners are actively colluding against Lamar. Right.
I think they all are just the exact same person and they all think independently the exact same way. Right.
And none of them want to pay quarterbacks guaranteed money. Pieces of dog shit is what they are.
Every owner can suck my dick and and not just but our owner specifically right now because that that fucking cocksucker is worth i think six billion dollars okay six billion dollars he bought the ravens but how much in cash that's the key sure sure because jim ursay like was when they're in the middle of the the league meetings right now jim ursay is just all the quotes of him being like i don't want to pay quarterbacks guaranteed i think it's a bad precedent for league no dude you don't want to put the money in escrow right like you need that for the pills exactly exactly so don't that's a lot of vicodin that's a lot of vicodin and dick pills that go right you know you know ursay's got the kind of dick pills you have to like inject into like your nut that one big vein in your nuts like he has to fucking he's got some no other dick pills have worked on that man since like 1994 he's got some kind of experimental dick pill that he cannot tie up the money for that i think that quarterback that dude's done so many drugs over the years i bet you he nuts without even getting hard in the first place yeah just completely looking at the guitars out yeah he gets wet like a woman yeah, he slowly is coming out. He just seeps out.
Yeah, he just slowly seeps out. I think it might be collusion not that they're all getting together in a room and saying, okay, we all agree on this.
Let's sign on this piece of paper in blood saying that we're not going to pay a quarterback all this guaranteed money. I mean, Kirk Cousins got a guaranteed contract, right? Kirk Cousins.
Some guys do. Yeah, if you pull your dick out at a chiropractor, you can get a fucking guaranteed contract, too, it turns out.
I mean, fuck the Browns, too, and fuck that sex criminal Deshaun fucking Watson, whatever the fuck. I think that's more what it is.
I think that when it happened with Deshaun, when the Haslams gave him all that guaranteed money, everybody got so fucking mad at the Browns franchise and their ownership that it's like an unspoken thing. And they all got all their shit off their chest on that one.
And they yelled at this dude and they said, this is going to ruin. It's going to turn the NFL into the NBA if the players get too much power.
Then I think it's just kind of understood from that point that, okay, we're not going to do this again. I'm sorry.
No, no, go ahead. It's the fucking quarterback.
That's the fucking thing. There is the wrinkle, and it's not like we're – I know Mike Flory, our friend, he'll talk about it and get into the weeds with it, and people's eyes will glaze over.
But it is a real thing that the stupid rules that were invented 30 years ago where they actually thought teams could offer money and then the team could go under and they would never be able to pay the money that's why the escrow thing is is is real yeah so like you hear about it with mark davis like he has to actually put the money when he guarantees the money he has to put it in escrow he has to be like here's the money so i won't spend it on something else and so some of these owners like they don't the bears are the same way. They have, they're billionaires because they own the team.
But in terms of like cash in their pocket, they don't have that. Believe me, I looked this up.
The Ravens are worth 3.9. He's worth six bill.
Okay. So he's got a little fucking cash in the pocket.
He's got cash in the pocket. Yeah.
So that shouldn't be an issue. And also, again, that's such bullshit.
The NFL can't like be sucking its own dick about how it's the most profitable league in the history of mankind. And then be like, oh, we made these rules 40 years ago, so we can't actually pay you guys.
And it's also, I mean, it's also unethical. There's a couple things here, right, that kind of gets me on multiple levels.
As a Ravens fan, I'm the most pissed, right? Because it's like, then we can go back to talking about that. But then from like a pure fairness standpoint, the NFL, like half these motherfuckers, their brains are fucking scrambled eggs, right? And that's the league that you don't fucking guarantee the contracts.
You could just blow your knee out, and it's like you could be the most talented guy in the world, and then we'll cut you and guess what and the fucking NFL you know they're fighting not to ensure anything like you know it's just like this is the most violent fucking league and look it's sick football rules we love to watch it all that shit but you should take care of these guys if they're putting their body online this much and the fact that this profitable fucking league with the most important position in all sports.

In all sports.

All sports. body online this much and the fact that this profitable fucking league with the most with the most in the most important position in the whole in all sports in sports like the most valuable position in the most valuable fucking league and they're like oh because of an accounting issue we can't pay these guys guaranteed money and it's like this isn't some fucking guy on a practice squad who even don't get me wrong even those guys guys should have all their shit fully guaranteed.
And everyone who plays a down of NFL football should have top-tier health care for the rest of their lives. It's disgraceful how they treat a lot of ex-players.
But especially a fucking MVP quarterback should be able to get the same contract as fucking Bradley Beal. He literally wants Bradley Beal's contract.
Ride for $250. Are you kidding me? What the fuck are we talking about? That wasn't a coincidence by the way PFT Because he did He released his tweet Right when John Harbaugh was speaking Yes I saw that It was perfect timing That's what I was wondering Does he have like boots on the ground Is there somebody that's at the owner's meeting That texted Lamar like the second that Harbaugh started Talking to the press.
Oh, interesting. Okay, he's talking right now.

And then Lamar's like, I've got a very important thread that I'm about to drop right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then he just, it was, the timing was impeccable because he asked Harbaugh about it.

He's like, I don't know.

I haven't read the tweets yet because obviously the tweet came out right as he was starting

the press conference and put him under the gun.

I don't think that, I don't think that there's a situation where the Ravens owner could legitimately claim that he can't put that money in escrow. They're like, you can get a line of credit taken out on your team.
All these guys can. You can ask Roger Goodell to fucking float you alone.
The guy gets paid $65 million a year. No, it's a bullshit excuse.
It's complete fucking bullshit. It's a bullshit excuse.
Why are you a fucking owner of a team? Truly, if you look at the Lamar, the story of us getting Lamar, it's like, you know, even the Flacco contract that we were getting our asses fucked on for years, if my memory serves correctly, it's because they didn't want to pay him just a little bit more in season. Like, they were penny pinching, and it ended up fucking the franchise up.
And look, again, pay Flacco. We fucking, you know, shout-out to Joey.
We won a Super Bowl. The best run.
I mean, you have never timed the four best games of your life. Yeah.
Better, it's the bet. I mean, he rules for that one.
And I don't begrudge him the money at all, but, you know, we had to fucking watch Flacco, you know, lose whatever fastball he had with that huge contract. And then it really felt like shit was bleak as a Ravens fan.
Everyone was ready to fucking fire Harbaugh. Shit was not going good.
And then Lamar fought. Literally, I remember watching the draft because, look, you guys love football.
I like football. You know, I'm not as big a football guy as you guys.
And I was kind of like, the Ravens are fucking assholes. And this was in the, you know, all the like Kaepernick shit was going on.
I was like, fuck the league. Fuck the NFL.
I don't need this shit. And then that was, and I was watching the draft like on the background.
And then we got Lamar and I was like, NFL football, baby. I'm fucking back in.
I was in from the, I knew he was going to be awesome. Right.
And so he falls to us. And and the narrative of what you want as a football team is like, you want that magical thing to happen with your quarterback.
You want him to come out of nowhere. That Chargers game where they put him in and he fucking almost wins it and we're like, wait, what the fuck is going on here? That was fucking awesome.
He's incredible the fucking next year. His MVP season was like, every Sunday was fucking awesome.
fucking awesome it's like that you're like oh yeah this is the kind of shit you're a sports fan for yeah to watch this guy become and he's got a brand of football it's fucking awesome it's not like he's a you know even if we sucked he's the kind of player that keeps interest in your franchise just to be like what's lamar gonna do yeah right? Right? It's like, in every fucking way, he's the kind of guy that you're homegrown, incredibly like, you know, incredibly explosive, already accomplished. I don't care that he- Bad diet.
Bad diet. Knows his way around a fucking ham and cheese hot pocket.
You know what I'm saying? Staying up till 3 a.m. watching fucking The Office.
You know what I mean? Like, whatever. us you know what I mean staying up watching 30 rock uh DMing bitch she's definitely DMing girls trying to get his dick sucked no problem like he's he's one of truly uh a man's man he's like fucking agent I'm keeping my 10 a dumbass who doesn't understand that you need an agent for something but that's how I am too yeah right I'm like I'll sell my own podcast ads I don't care I'm not giving you 10% you know no ads on Stavvy's World by the way I'm still working on that I'm still I still have to figure that out but like I really should listen to Stavvy's World by the way it's a great podcast uh six months we still haven't sold a single ad but so I get it I'm fucking stupid too I relate to Lamar in so many fucking ways And it's like He is All the shit you want Like you motherfuckers You were sucking You were coming in your pants Tyler Haneke Fucking You know Three good drives Justin Fields doesn't fumble Four times in a row You're like You know what I mean You described my The Bears were literally The worst team in the NFL And every Sunday I was like This is gonna be awesome Yeah dude That's what I'm saying He's gonna do something cool it sucks so much fucking dick and it's like and then what's the

worst case scenario if we sign Lamar to guaranteed money he gets hurt we suck dick for a few years

well guess what we're about to suck dick for a few years like it's like either buy the lottery

ticket with the guy your fans love have watched come up the whole time and guess what you might

win a fucking Super Bowl everyone's like oh he hasn't done shit and you know it has bothered me

as well. the lottery ticket with the guy your fans love have watched come up the whole time and guess what you might win a fucking super bowl everyone's like oh he hasn't done shit and you know it has bothered me as a lamar fan how much everyone's sucking josh allen's cock over him it's like what did that motherfucker do this year he's probably he's a friend well i know i know and you know but he can suck my dick in the in this context i think he's a good guy but every in this specific context he can suck my dick joe burrow i know he's your friend he can suck my dick in all contexts fuck the Cincinnati Bengals and everyone in the AFC North uh but everyone is talking about how they're so much better all this other shit it's like everyone is so fucking has such a short attention span shit takes time for fucking quarterbacks this shit is rare how long did Peyton Manning how long was he fucking blowing it in the playoffs you know what i mean like well so do you think though that maybe lamar that mvp season like maybe too not too soon but like no he did it very quickly right and the injuries part i think is fair the injuries part is definitely fair but let's also look at it like all the quarterbacks we just talked about we're like josh allen starts showing some promise they get him a fucking a fucking receiver.
You know what I mean? They go out and get him digs. You look at Tua hadn't shown dick, and they fucking – how much did they invest in that offer? It's so much about that.
You know what I mean? You can look at Kyler Murray. Look at Kyler Murray's contract.
He got five years, $230 million, and $160 million guaranteed. You think Lamar would have taken know.
I think he might. If they didn't offer him that, literally, I'm not going to say what should happen, but it involves a gun and somebody who owns a certain sports franchise's head.
If they didn't offer him that, that's what should fucking happen. I mean, I can't believe that they wouldn't offer him that.
Like, that's fucking insane. I think Big Cat might be right, though.
If he had his MVP season last year or two years ago. He timed it.
He's the reverse Flacco. Right, right, right, right.
He peaked, and then the last couple years have, we have to at least be honest, the last couple years have not gone well with the injuries and the way the seasons have finished. And that's totally fair.
But you also have to think. I personally think, like, how much of that is bad management? How much of that is, like...
You guys got an F-minus in the strength department. Exactly.
No, truly. It's just hilarious.
It's a fucking NFL franchise. The strength in the fucking room.
We have rusty weights. It's like working out at a fucking Planet Fitness at the Ravens facility.
But, like, how much of that from his perspective is like, and, okay, you can argue, oh, you should be able to, you know, overcome any obstacle, whatever. But it's like, we've all worked at shitty places.
If your boss doesn't give you, is mistreating you, you're not going to fucking work hard. And part of it is like, he sees all the receivers everybody else gets.
He sees all the help. help and it's like not only are they not giving him shit they're trading hollywood brown yeah look it was a good trade in terms of like value and the guy gets hurt whatever we get a first rounder out of it but optics wise the quarterback's like hey anyone but a fucking tight end to throw to could i get that and they're like no no you cannot as a matter of fact and guess what we're trading the only guy the guy you're fucking friends with the guy you guys are like boy both from fucking florida you're working out in the off season with him and his insane uncle no that guy's fucking gone and good luck with uh you know do a returner we're gonna the the returner guess what he's actually the number two now it's like it's fucking insane that's the ravens way It really is.
The Ravens love doing that. The Ravens love not ever having a wide receiver.
They really do. Shout out to Jermaine Jackson.
This is why when the Bears traded for DJ Moore, I was like, this fucking rules. He literally has the most receiving yards.
He would be the number one receiver in Bears history. So it's like I know what you're saying.
You have to put guys around your franchise quarterback. And're right about like yes the MV if he had timed it different but it's like that's a failure on the Ravens part where it's like we're taking this for granted and we're gonna like not build around him instantly and it's like you're not even learning the basic fucking lessons everyone now like again I'm not as big a football guy as you guys but even I know the best fucking window is when you have a fucking star quarterback with a rookie deal.
Even a fucking dumbass like me understands that, but it's like, and you have an electric, and even the arguments that are like, oh, Lamar's playing style isn't going to age as well. He runs around all this shit.
It's like, okay, well then let's fucking, let's make the most of these four fucking years. But instead, they treat him like shit.
They, not only, not only, it's like, you can't even say like, look, they're bargaining with him hard, but at least they took care of him on the field. No, the fuck they didn't.
The offense sucked dick. It was like, it really was like schoolyard football of like, the playbook ended up being like, all right, third and whatever, Lamar does some stuff.
Do something cool. Do something cool.
Do something cool, Lamar. Was called 80% of the time in, like, high leverage downs.
It was do something cool, Lamar. Or it was a, you know, three running backs, you know, option bullshit.
You know what I mean? It was like the wishbone. Those were the two things.
Take care of you guys. At least Steve Biscotti could have put some brick watches in the lobby for Lamar to pick up.
Just say thank you. Keep your players happy.
It's a fucking disgrace, truly. It fucking sucks so much, Dick.
So what's the worst case scenario? Because I think I know it, and I'll say it. Bill Belichick has always had eyes on Lamar.
Oh my God, dude. And you saw yesterday.
I will fucking put on a suicide vest, and I won't do it. Somebody else will.
It won't be me. Delete the part that said I would do it.
A guy I know would probably put on a suicide bomb and drive right to the Patriots facility the day they announced the signing. It's Meek Mill.
Yeah, Meek Mill. That was incredible.
Meek Mill texted Robert Kraft. And by the way, who the fuck is Meek Mill? Root for the Eagles, you fucking piece of shit.
Fuck Robert Kraft. Fuck Meek Mill.
Robert Kraft saying that out loud was so hilarious because he essentially said, I want Lamar Jackson, but it's up to Bill Belichick. Yeah, yeah.
Me and Meek Mill. He's like, Meek Mill hit me up.
He said he wanted Lamar Jackson on the Patriots, but that's Bill Belichick's decision. Dude, if he goes to the fucking Patriots, because if he goes to the Patriots, you know he will do exactly what's necessary.
It's like a fucking, it'll be, it really is the absolute worst case scenario. Absolute worst.
Because it's like a, you give a guy who's been completely underutilized, not only personnel wise, but like, you know, it was a meme to make fun of Greg Roman. But still, the offense was not fucking imaginative at all.
It was fucking dog shit. So you take a guy and you put him with the Patriots, who now fucking Bill Belichick has something to prove.
After last year, Tom Brady wins a fucking Super Bowl, you know, gets deep and does another deep playoff run without him. Belichick fucking embarrasses himself trying to, like, you know, get his boys.
Like, that fucking moron. Patricia's fucking an offensive coach.
What the fuck? Belichick was like, let's just fuck it. Let's fuck around, brother.
Like, that really was like, who gives a fuck? I'm checked out. I'm coming into work drunk.
Yeah, Matt, you fucking do it. I don't fucking care.
He was like, oh, like oh wait fuck I didn't hire an offensive coordinator um Matt what do you know

you know plays right dude

like that's what last season felt like

and now he has something to prove

no Brady it's like everyone's

talking about how oh they'll win a Super Bowl

they will win a Super Bowl and I hate

the fucking Patriots I hate

like outside of the

the AFC North obviously outside of like

the Steelers every you know

a little bit the Bengals even though whatever they can suck my dick still um like the there's no worse team than the patriots belichick has tried to do he's like gotten bored with football i think where he's now trying to he's trying to beat the game like it's madden on yeah yeah expert mode yeah so for so long. Now he's like, you know what? Fuck it.
I'm going to put my son as defensive coordinator. I'm going to get a rocket scientist that's never coached offense to call my plays on offense.
You know what? Now I'd really like to be able to win the Super Bowl with a completely different style of play, like with a quarterback that runs the ball. That would be interesting to him to figure out how to break the league that way.
Fully, fully. It would be a gift that would just fall into his fucking lap.
And by the way, I mean, I don't even want to start talking about trade, like what we would need back in a trade because then it starts feeling very real. Well, so here's the interesting part.
Because it doesn't have to be the two first. No, no, it's the non-exclusive.
So basically the Ravens were like, we're going to let you talk to everyone. If someone signs you to a deal, we're just going to sign you to the same deal because he's worth more than two.
That's what I was begging. Right.
In my heart, I was like, it's all a fucking ploy. They're going to see what he gets.
And then guess what? They'll throw a couple extra million at him to just really smooth things over. Yeah.
But that's what I was hoping. Obviously, that doesn't feel like what's going to happen.
Well, I think there's also a weird thing that's at play now because we're so close to the draft. I think teams are not going to do – they're not going to try to trade for Lamar right now.
Because they all love the board. Yeah, they love the board.
They have a pick they want to take or whatever. After the draft,

they might be like, alright.

It actually makes perfect sense. If you're going to trade

for Lamar, do it in the future

draft picks that you have to trade because if you have

Lamar, you probably won't be bad.

And you want the team around him as good

as possible, as quickly as possible.

If I was the Jets, I would be talking to Lamar right now.

I know they said that they're not going to do it.

That's fucking stupid. They're saying

that they're not going to do it and they're

afraid that Aaron Rodgers is talking to Lamar right now. I know they said that they're not going to do it, and I think that they're saying that they're not going to do it,

and they're afraid that Aaron Rodgers is going to see them talking to Lamar,

and then Aaron Rodgers will, I don't know,

have some sort of revelation of, like, this person doesn't actually love me,

and then he's going to go into a different frame of mind

where he might want to go, who knows, back to the Packers or somewhere else.

He might feel like he's disrespected because they're talking to another quarterback. They should talk.
The Jets should absolutely talk to Lamar Jackson at the very minimum. From a baseline like put a little pressure on the negotiate.
Yeah. Because they're in a weird no-one-has-leverage situation between the Packers and the Jets where it's like the Packers got to get rid of fucking Rodgers, and the Jets have no other options.
Now you have Lamar, and it's like, yeah, at least make the Packers sweat a little bit. And if you're not a dumbass, Aaron Rodgers should understand that that might get a better might make the team he's going on to have to trade less to get him.
Yeah. I feel like the Jets should have leverage if they had played this correctly.
Right. Because Aaron didn't he fuck the leverage up by just going on? Well, the whole thing, from everything that I've read,

because I obviously am reading it all being like,

please, please, please get this deal done.

Do you need me to help?

What if somehow he stays and the Lions get Lamar?

That's like an uno reverse where it's like,

I wouldn't feel good, but at least you'd suffer a little bit.

Yeah, no, that would be very bad.

That would be very bad.

I actually don't think that Aaron is going to play for the Packers no matter what. I think it's more likely that he retires than he goes back to the Packers.
But what it's all come down to with the Packers and the Jets, and it makes sense from the Jets' perspective, they're essentially saying, all right, the Packers want a first and a second. The Jets are like, let's give you two seconds, and if Aaron stays on the roster for two years, one of them will become a first.
Because they essentially are like, we don't want to trade for a guy who could just be like, I'm going to fucking South America in a year and quitting football, which totally makes sense from the Jets' perspective. So I think that's like, if the Jets called up the Packers today and were like, all right, first and second, no stipulations, the deal would be done.
Right, right, right. And I get it.
Like, the Jets don't want to trade for a guy that could be like, I quit football after a year. Yeah, and if you're the Packers, I guess, push comes to shove, you got to think they're going to take whatever the fuck they tell them, right? Yeah, I think, yeah.
It seems like, and it would, you're basically, it's funny that they'll like trade Aaron Rodgers but still be tied to him. Right.
Because he has to keep playing for a couple years for that to become a first pick. Right, right, right, right.
Which I kind of love. That is pretty funny.
Yeah, they're like a divorced couple, but they don't have any kids, but they have a dog. And they have to like figure out how to deal with this.
As long as the dog stays alive, you get alimony. Yeah, right, right.
You just have to be like, please feed him. Feed the fucking dog.
Right, right. We're going to get back to Stavi in a second.
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anymore just brush in lightly let's set and you're good to go try new one day beard and brow from just for men and now here's more stoppy lamar going to the patriots would suck for you where else would it really suck i don't know i mean there's no inter there's no way they're trading him into the division yeah the colts are the only other the colts would suck though too because you have the wrinkle of they stole the fucking team right and like that that pill popping cocksucker ursa he could he's just fucking he's the one owner that no none of the owners fuck with and he might just do it to be like i mean it's good that he's a cheap prick so that's the only reason but like he likes to fuck with the other owners yeah he's he's you know he goes off all the time and says shit he's not supposed to. Which I love from him.
So that did scare me, but I didn't know the thing you were talking about where he was talking about how he doesn't want to pay. Oh, yeah.
He was going off in the league meeting being like, we can't have it become basketball and baseball. We can't do the guaranteed contract.
He actually did say the quiet part out loud. And all the other owners were like, dude, you can't say this to a reporter.
But then again, let's say none of the quarterbacks they want fall to them. Let's say he's on some fucking white wine and zany bars.
Who's to say he's not signing that fucking check when he's really feeling it? They could bond over being poop guys. Jim Irsay, he threw off Josh McDaniels during the interview because he went to his house and stayed in the bathroom for 45 minutes.
Him and Lamar just share a bathroom. He gets the keys to Jim Irsay's bathroom.
Well, look, fucking opioids block you up. You know what I'm saying? He's constipated, and then when it's coming, it's coming.
It's still the funniest story. Josh McDaniels' wife was like, this guy's giving me a bad vibe.
He's been in the bathroom for 45 minutes.

I love the idea that he's shitting and beating off in there.

Yeah, and doing coke.

The old sixth grade, you got to squeeze one in, the whole family's around.

So you need the cover of his shit to jack off.

Jim Irsay is probably top of the list of owners who would want to party with.

Oh, yeah.

I like him.

I actually like his vibe a lot.

I like Jim Irsay.

I would like to hang out with him. I would work for Jim Irsay jim mercy yeah yeah whatever fuck the colts fuck jim mercy that's why i thought i thought snyder might make a move at him for the commanders because because of the escrow thing for sure because the the bill wouldn't become due until after snyder sold the team right so he'd sell the team for seven billion dollars or whatever and then the very first thing that would happen to the new owner is like, oh, yeah, you got to put $300 million extra dollars into escrow.
Yeah, right, right. And to fuck all the other owners on the way out, right? If all they want to do is no guaranteed money, him being like, fuck it.
We would treat him so good in D.C. Lamar, if Lamar come to Washington.
No, fuck you. Fuck you and all those photoshops.
You had a part to play in this, you motherfucker. You were putting the energy in the world.
Spending, like, fucking how much? You know, half of Barstool's Photoshop budget was going on Lamar. Oh, our guy Shane.
We found out after because we were just having him. Like, I was having him do some stuff, too.
And he, like, one of Max's memes told us after. They're like, yeah, it takes Shane, like, five hours.
They were really good Photoshop. Yeah, they were awesome.
People were hitting me up being like, yo, who's your Photoshop guy in these Lamars? It's pretty good. Also, yeah, I do think that to a certain extent, the conversation reached the upper levels of the Washington Commanders management.
They asked Martin Mayhew, their general manager about it yesterday. He's like, I have no idea where all this Lamar to D.C.
stuff is coming from, but it's become a thing in the media. It's literally because we just put our Photoshop to work.
And let me just say a warning out to everyone out there. Shane, he's a devious guy.
I love that he's on our side. He puts a little secret watermark on these, and he showed me once every media company is using our his photoshops yeah so like i i actually wouldn't be shocked if aaron rogers goes to the jets like week one in the jumbotron they're using shane's yeah that would be great i would love him so much in dc though i would treat you so good see that's the thing it's like i'm torn between i hate even having these conversations because it makes it real but it's like i don't like if he goes to your shitty fucking franchise something bad is gonna fucking oh yeah that turf will kill a million percent and so it's like it's again it's like a relationship where it's like you did actually love the person and things have you've been ripped apart for you know factors that neither one of you want so it's like I don't want him to like go and blow i want him to go fucking win you know but i just don't it can't be with the fucking patriots it can't be in the division i mean honestly it's got nfc just get him out of the fucking comfort you know the completely but it's bullshit though that the conversation around lamar is he's a running back that's playing quarterback and you're not giving him the opportunity to even get better at passing like you you're saying that with the expectation that he won't grow as a passer Mike Vick grew as a passer over the course of his career Steve Young grew as a passer he is gonna it is going to be so fucking embarrassing when he is because he is fucking awesome like we like okay the injuries are a real thing but F-minus on the fucking, you know, the hell us.
We got an A+. All right.
How about the...

Yeah. Because he is fucking awesome.
Like, okay, the injuries are a real thing, but F-minus on the fucking, you know. We got A-plus.
Yeah, how about the turf? The diet. Listen, Mortensen told me the diet.
It reminded me of when Derrick Rose was just eating candy on the sidelines. It's like, you got to, you know.
No, true. I mean, but that's what's going to happen here is, like, it just feels so horrible to be a Ravens fan here, especially because he's his own agent.
He's representing himself. He's taken it personally, clearly.
The way the organization has negotiated with him has rubbed him the wrong way for two fucking years. So I think we're at the point where even if the Ravens were like, look, you can have the Desha I don't think he'd fucking come with the Ravens I really don't think so dude I don't want it to be the case But that's what I feel in my heart It wasn't just yesterday because obviously remember At the end of the season when he released all his medical stuff And he was like this is Stop saying that I can play And like stop believing that I'm just sitting out for no reason Here Here's my medical stuff, which most players don't do.
Right. No, and again, that's the other thing where the Ravens, it's like they're thinking, well, he doesn't have an agent.
Great. We'll win the PR war.
But it's like, that's not how this shit works. It's a fucking human being.
You're not fucking playing Madden, you fucking dumbasses. So every time that you think you got one on Lamar no, now he hates you more you fucking retards I'm so everything they've done is wrong in every fucking direction it's fucking embarrassing it's just like we have squandered this guy and it's like look, if he got hurt he got hurt, who gives a fuck that's the thing about being a fan, you love your guys and it's like we loved lamar if he got hurt it would be fucking sad and then we'd be like fine fucking huntley can run you know two and a half yards of fucking play i don't give a fuck you could try to reach for the end zone even though he's short it reminds me of at that point we'd have good karma those were like if he got hurt and they're like we're gonna scrap together and win for lamar that's what the feeling would be like instead of now it's like same team no it's like I mean I really I don't want to get too extreme but I'm like am I gonna fucking boycott a season to show the Ravens I probably know you definitely won't I mean that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard you know the Sunday maybe not maybe I just won't watch Ravens games you know no you still We'll watch them.
Oh, I'll take a pee. They're on the little TV, though.

They're on the show. Maybe I just won't watch Ravens games.
You know what I'm saying? No, you still will watch them.

Oh, I'll take a pick.

They're on the little TV, though.

They're on the small.

They're on my laptop.

Take that.

You'll boycott the preseason.

And I'm watching them on Reddit.

I'm not letting you get the fucking views, NFL.

It reminds me a little bit of Kawhi.

That's a boycott.

Remember at the end of the Spurs with Kawhi, how he was being weird about his leg injury and all that shit? That's exactly what this has felt like. And then he asked for a trade afterwards.
That's what it seems like. You know, the ultimate power play.
Now, if the players had their shit together, and it's tough to ask players to do this, but who are the next quarterbacks that are coming up right now for deals? Joe Burrow? Joe Burrow's coming up uh herbert will be coming up it's coming up if if the big name quarterbacks got together and they're like we're not going to sign we're not going to sign a deal that's not fully guaranteed no chance joe burrow will be interesting though because he is one of those guys that you got to pay but the bangles are cheap yeah like he will you'll run into a similar Now we're talking. Now we're fucking talking.
It's bloods and crips tying the bandanas together. But that's the other thing.
Dude, that's what would be so fucking heartbreaking if the people who start this are the fucking Browns, right? Yeah. By being fucking morons.
Jimmy Haslam just ruins everything. Right? And then the Ravens take a stand for the good of fucking your players over.
Wow, what a great karmic fucking franchise to be. And then the cheap-ass Bengals of next year? Those motherfuckers give Joe Burrow $250 guaranteed? And then we're just the only ones that never did it for Lamar? Again, a guy I know will go somewhere with certain things.
You only get one, though, Sabi, if you already used your suicide vest on the patient. I don't know suicide vest works.
I don't know what you mean, me. It's not me.
It's a guy I know. So you really should be mad at Tennessee football.
This all goes back to Tennessee football because Tennessee football was good. Jimmy Haslam maybe doesn't buy the Browns because he was running the show there.
You're right. He's the biggest donor.
Yeah, where's that little man in cocksucker? He could have been born like five years earlier, and I probably would be okay right now. Fuck, dude.
This fucking sucks so much, Dick. And it's like, what am I going to have to watch? But you're going to still watch.
I don't know, man. I don't want to go back to those days.
The fucking Chris fucking Redmond fucking... Kyle Bowler.
Kyle Bowler fucking... Oh, he's stoned from his knee.
You could just come back with us, dude. us dude Listen it's fine Not having a quarterback For the entirety Of your franchise Is totally normal At least we had The awesome defense But that doesn't Look like it's Well it's the Ravens way You win a quarterback With a Like a historically Underperforming Or you win a Super Bowl With a historically Underperforming quarterback Trent Trent Dilfer, Flacco.
Yeah, Trent Dilfer.

I mean, Flacco was the fucking man that run.

Yeah, what about bringing Joe back?

Dude, listen.

Free agent.

No joke.

Even as much as – and the hard part is, like,

obviously I've done that character a bunch,

and then it just took on a life of its own to the point where, like, I put out these videos of just the dumbass who loves Flacco, obviously.

And people have started coming to shows in, like, Joe Flacco jerseys and being like, Flacco, dude, we need him. And I'm like, no.
That's the joke, you dumbass. Of course we're fucked if he's our quarterback.
Only a moron would believe these things. But at the same time, I see him suit up in that number five.
He throws a great smile. I would not be mad.
There'd be one game where he'd beat the Browns, and it would feel like old times again. You know what I mean? I would feel, you know what I mean? My dick would be getting hard normal again.
I'd be in college again. It would be awesome.
First time he throws like a 60-yard bomb that's intended for like a 70-yard wide receiver, and it's under thrown, and he gets that passer. Get that P.I., dude.
At that point, you're like, I'm'm back in I'm back in on Flacco feels like 11 baby you are us in the fact that like it's it's a blessing and a curse that we are the same way where it's we have meatball like thoughts in our brain yeah yeah but we have a little bit more intelligence to realize hey that's a meatball thought but those still exist they exist and you can revert to it at any time no being like oh yeah flack like well we could win with

flacco once lamar leaves i will have to revert there to to like protect my psyche yeah like i'll be if i if i'm thinking higher thoughts they will be dangerous football lobotomy I will have to have a polibotomy, dude.

They're just sitting there drinking applesauce through a straw.

They're like, Flago, Flago.

Joey. to have a football at the bottom.
They're just sitting there drinking applesauce

through a straw.

They're like,

Flago,

Flago.

Joey,

put Joey in.

Where the fuck's Joey at?

Huntley's a piece of shit.

Trade whatever.

Get Joey back.

It's like,

we need a pill

that football fans

can take

and just make you

a full meatball and just be excited about playing defense and running the ball. Run the damn ball, coach.
Yeah, run it. Run the fucking ball.
Fucking three yards and a clown at Dosh. Punt on fourth and one.
You got to play field position. It's old school shit.
Dude. I think Bengals fans had that for a while, too, with their defense where they would just have to turn off the logical part of their brain and be like, I fucking love Vontaze Perfect.
This guy's so much fun to watch. I mean, and what a name.
I hate to compliment any Bengal, but Vontaze Awesome Perfect. Sick.
So sick. It's like a dumbass trying to remember perfect.
It's like my son saying perfect. Yeah, yeah, yeah, a toddler.
That would literally be what a toddler would name an awesome football player. Perfect.
Montez Perfect. And then they had Montez Perfect, and then, oh, then we got Pac-Man at quarterback.
It is a six-year-old's favorite team for sure. It absolutely is, yeah, the – you know, listen, I would rather be us, though, to be able to revert to the meatball than some of the nerds who, like – For sure.
They can't see football how, you know, it was meant to be played back 50 years ago. Of course, of course, of course.
It's like, yeah, talking about don't fucking throw it on first. What are you doing? Yeah.
Stop using one hand to catch the ball. What if you don't get a completion on first? Then it's second and ten.
You could have set up a second and seven. You idiot.
I will have to watch football. The Ravens will be so bad, dude.
It's going to be. And now I'm like, people in my life are having kids.
I'm like, they could have been watching Lamar for their first memories. Oh, yeah.
And it's like, they better. I'm just like, I don't want to have nieces and nephews that have to watch dog shit football.
You know, that's literally what I'm thinking of right now. I'm like, they robbed Lamar.
They robbed like, because a little kid watching Lamar, he'll love the Ravens forever. But if the team is dog shit, that's a great fear of mine, especially when you don't live in the city that you're, you know what I mean? Where it's like a kid, you know, you fucking an inferior, like we could be trapped in one in a fucking DC or bears esque death spiral for 15 years.
It happens. It's been longer than that.
I know. I'm trying to be nice.
You had flashes. Her lacquer was pretty cool.
Listen, Justin Fields is like my – it's my ticket. All right, dude.
Justin Fields for Lamar. Straight up.
Do you know what? It's funny because I've said this in the fall. With Justin Fields ascending to where he was last year, I know he's got a lot to work with.
Everyone's going to be like, oh, he can't pass. I found myself defending Lamar a lot more because I'm like, yeah, dude, he's electric.
I get it. I understand what it is.
It's so much fun to watch. Dude, I literally like, I've been seeing his highlights in my head.
Like I've been seeing the spin move, that spin move where he fucking got out of three cocksucking Bengals were trying to tackle him. And I literally see that when I close my eyes.
It's been a tough 24 hours. Where he would like stop short and then people would just dive in.
Oh, yeah. You'd sneak through.
You'd find a crack and you'd get through it. He was the best at going from 60 to zero.
He was the best at stopping in the NFL. It was so fun to watch all these awesome players just look like they were dizzy trying to tackle Lamar Jackson.
No, it was fucking sick. He reposted the video I did yesterday.
Really? On his story. I DMed him.
I was like, Lamar, I hope you watch the whole video. It is a joke.
I am on your side. The franchise is at fault here.
It has not been read. Are you? Oh, no.
But I think he got it. He was like, he literally reposted it, and he was like, you know, I still love y'all.
It's not, you know, a lot of stuff hasn't come out. And then he was like, but this is funny as shit, though.
So I think he got it. Yeah.
Because the video I'm talking about, you know i still love y'all it's not you know a lot of stuff hasn't come out and then he was like but this is funny as shit though so i think he got it yeah there's the video i'm talking about you know that was getting my baby mama to sell pussy to keep lamar so i think he understood it was a joke and it's not a man soliciting prostitution to keep to sit to raise 250 mil but i mean credit to you for like you throw that out there you're like ha ha i would do this as a joke. And then, but when push comes to shove, it's like, yeah, probably.
There's a lot of people in Baltimore that would truly sex traffic their loved ones to keep Lamar on the team, no questions asked. You're not going to have Ravens fans doing the jersey burning after Lamar.
No, no. I hope not.
I mean, well, yeah, there will be the thing it's like i want it like when i when i did because the character i do is the dumbest ravens fan but i couldn't because there was a very racist like very like stupid jersey burning way to go with that character yesterday but i was like it's it's i can't do it yeah it was not in my heart right but there will

be a few i mean you do see even in the comments of like the shit i was posting yesterday you see people being like literally being like overrated getting hurt no respect for the game like that yeah bad diet dude doesn't sleep the bad diet is still chris morton's tweeting that out just Those, I mean, questions about his diet.

Yeah.

It's like, how do you fucking look yourself in the mirror?

It's like how do you fucking look yourself in the mirror It's like come on You have to beg the guy You have to beg whatever Ravens PR person told you to say that I have a family man I can't do this I'm going to be disgraced I can't tweet this Alright so let's wrap up with some positive things. The Bucs.

The Bucs.

The Greek freak. Yeah.
How are you feeling about NBA playoffs? I'm feeling really good about it. I do think I really, I mean, the Bucs are the prohibitive favorite.
It feels like the West is such a fucking mess. Who knows who the fuck's going to come out of there? And I think the Celtics can suck my dick.
I think ever since Joe Mazzula,

do you see where he,

when the fucking,

the queen of England or whatever,

or the prince came to visit?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

And they asked him about that,

and he was like,

I thought the only royal family

was Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

And I was like, all right,

they're going to lose.

No fucking bitch-ass nerd

who says something like that

is winning a fucking championship.

So ever since he says that, I'm out out and then I was scared of the Sixers uh but there's just and look before him and Giannis were feuding I was a Harden fan I just there's something I love about somebody who just you know doesn't reach his potential gets fat as shit at the most important moments goes to strip clubs yeah and like when it's's awesome when it doesn't matter, and then as soon as the lights are on, you shrink up. Again, I fully relate to a man like that.
Squandering your talent and just, you know, having a good-ass time. I love Harden for that.
But he was playing awesome, but it's just, like, some about the, like, there's too much Doc Rivers, you know, Harden.

Even Embiid, who is great.

It's like he's a little, you know, he's like injury prone a little bit.

I'd love to speak, you know, if you want to talk about it, Max.

I'd love to talk about it.

Max gets irrationally angry about all this stuff.

It's true.

You know everything I'm saying is pure facts.

No, there's nothing that we've said to prove otherwise in what he's saying. But, you know, there's always a first for everything.
I respect that. There's a first for everything.
What if everything works out perfectly? He's due. That's another coping mechanism.
He's due is a huge meatball. What if everything works perfect for us this yeah.
Well, no, it won't, but what if? It won't. I do think the city of Philadelphia, this would be the time for it to work because everyone has that same feeling of, like, we've seen this before, we've seen this before.
So, I'm twisting my brain. The hype is less this year.
Three days ago, Max, you were like, we're winning the championship. Well, we've lost four in the last five.
Well, let me ask you this. Let's say game seven of the finals.
Would you be drinking champagne the night before? What do you think about that? That was a good question. I didn't think you knew about that.
I had to watch. I was excited.
Did you watch the video of him in the game? It's one of my favorite videos. Yeah, yeah.
It was awesome. I'm a fucking headache.
I have to suck up all the others. Like, I literally have gone back and looked at sports sorrow from other fan bases.
Because I'm at my lowest right now, dude. It's literally.
All I have is people being sad. The foundation of Barstool Sports is Dave always wins and everyone else always loses.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the most popular shows we ever do is when we were in the absolute bottom.
Like, for a while there, we would look at the numbers and it was like our number one show was Mike Florio. And we're like, wait, what was that? And it was like, oh, that was the double doink.
And it was like everyone's just listening to be an asshole. Oh, I was, dude, I was refreshing my shit.
I was like, let's see what fucking Big Cat's got to say about this. It's sick.
Because you don't want to listen to some guy that's super successful. No.
Go tune in to Gary Vee talking about how much money he has. And that's also why, truly, if Lamar goes to the Patriots, I just cannot.
I was just. Hank is going to get a jersey.
Dude, I was tasting them talking about them. Oh, my God.
Put in fucking Zappy.

Shut the fuck up.

I was excited for like 10 years of whoever the fuck the next Zappy was and just them losing and being dog shit.

Belichick going senile.

His son just getting to inherit the throne.

Just like, you know, that would have been awesome.

If they get Lamar.

Oh, they're getting Lamar.

Don't fucking do that. Chill out.
In a a weird way I would love to see it Stop I would Shut the fuck up Both of you It would be fucking horrible For everyone Because you know he wanted him In that draft too He could have fucking drafted him No no no He could have drafted him He wanted him in that draft He chose not to Fuck him I thought it was Literally That's I was I mean there's no right? I hate to be the guy. I was like, dude, I've been on this the whole time.
But this would be so horrible because it's like I saw this already happened. The Patriots were ahead of us in the draft.
And I was like, he's going to the fucking Patriots. Because I truly loved Lamar from the fucking jump.
And the fact that we, this is, it's even worse. Like, it's one thing to get rejected, right? It's one thing to try and fuck this beautiful woman, but to like get it and then be like, you know what? Actually, no, I don't want you.
And then she goes back to the guy you were worried about the whole time. It's like, it's even worse than never having it.
If I'd never drafted Lamar, I'm happy, bro. That's right.
We suck dick. You should never have good days.
We suck dick. Nothing bad is happening.
Harbaugh's gone. Who knows who the fuck is coaching what horrible coach we have.
Hopefully he's fat as shit. Love a fat football coach.
We're fucking nine and fucking eight, whatever the fuck. Who gives a fuck? That's the dream, man.
I would love to be nine and eight. Go nine and eight.
That's my Super Bowl. Well, you've won Super Bowls, but we had the hypothetical a few weeks ago where it's like we would take – in the next 50 years, you told me you could lose 15 Super Bowls or win one but miss the playoffs in all other 49 years.
We're like, we'd love to lose a Super Bowl. 15 Super Bowls.
That's so many NFC championships. It's a dynasty.
And think of the ratings and the shows after we won. Oh, my God.
Absolutely. It would be so much fun to root for a team that goes to the Super Bowl 15 times.
But that's another wrinkle. Sorry to keep talking about why the Ravens organization has fucked us all.
We've had a couple Super Bowls. We're not even like that.
We're like, well, if he gets hurt, we're fucked. And it's like, and our chance for the Super Bowl is over.
Dude, we're not even close to having that desperate. It's going to be another 15 years.
No, you guys are a model franchise in terms of consistently being in the mix. Exactly.
So stay in the mix with one of the fucking most talented quarterbacks there. It's just like, build around him instead of taking him for granted.
You know who else liked Lamar? Was Sean Payton in the draft. He loved Lamar.
What about this? I have no idea how the cap works, all right? Yeah, yeah. I have no idea.
As far as I'm concerned, it's numbers that don't really exist. There's no way that would work.
They just tell teams that there's a salary cap, and they trust the teams like, okay, they're scared of a salary cap violation. They're all cheap pieces of shit.
Yeah, exactly. So I don't know how this works with numbers, but Sean Payton loves Lamar.
Yeah. I can already tell he hates Russell Wilson because, like, day one, he's like, yeah, he brings his own coaches into the building.
Yeah, that's not going to happen with me. Could they trade Russell Wilson to the Ravens? Get Lamar out.
They don't have unlimited. They've already— It'd be unlimited.
We would be unlimited. You're telling on yourself for not having an unlimited mindset.
That is true. I am showing my limitedness right now.
I think—did didn't they trade everything to the fucking Seahawks to get him?

Yeah.

It's like if we were to take on that horrendous contract,

we would need like eight first round picks.

It would be like the four Lamar deserves.

I don't know about this two bullshit.

And like four to take on that horrendous contract.

But yeah, that's the other thing.

It's like I don't know where he would go, where it would be cool. But I would love to see him with a fucking offensive mind like that.
That would be sick. And I mean, although AFC still, but like put him in that.
Truly just put him in that. No joke, Big Ed, I would love to see him go on the Lions.
Because that would. Jerichoff is good.
He's very good. Hey, we'll take him.
We'll place hold the QB for a couple years. Listen, you just stumbled upon, though, where you can go with this.
So, Lamar either stays with you guys, you're happy. Yeah.
Or if you get three or four first-round picks, you just play that game for the next four years. Where you're like, oh, we got this pick, we got this pick.
Like, rooting for against another team becomes your rooting for a team. That is fun.
You're right. So, that what you've got to root for.
No, I would – it's just like I can't even – it just feels bad to even think about the world where I have to root for not Lamar. But, yeah, if we get – because, like, the package has to be – I don't know.
This, like, you know, thank God they don't have to trade him for the two first, the whatever, you know, franchise tag shit is. Because, like, the package would have to be.
I mean, Russell Wilson didn't get two and two. Yeah.
Plus a couple players. Yeah.
It's got to be way more than fucking that. Yeah.
Like, it's got to be a crazy trade. But then that's the thing.
It's like the Ravens have so successfully, like, fucked up this negotiation that they have lowered his trade value too. Because nobody else wants to pay him either for some fucking reason.
Damn. I think he's going to stay on the Ravens.
Maybe for one year. But he might not play.
But he might hold. Dude, I don't think he's going to fucking play.
Believe me, I want this to be true, and I've tried to look at every situation. Best case scenario, maybe they pay him a little little because I think technically they don't have to give him just the non-exclusive they could bump him up to the whole tag and maybe he like plays a year and we do this weird like one more run kind of thing where it sucks and no one is happy and like he's not playing he's not gonna he's definitely if he's even sort of injured you know he's sitting you know he's sitting out.
That's the only way we have it. At that point, it's like unless he's trying to get his value back up or something and he plays hard.
It's all bad. There's no good scenario here.
When have players ever requested a trade and the team's just like, no. The only one I think about is Kobe, right, where he was about to go to the Bulls.
Yeah, he was about to go to the Bulls. But he wouldn't throw in Luol Deng or something like that.
He was actually looking for places to live. And that's the...
And then... Sightings.
Yeah. But then, here's a couple things that are different.
Great owner, right? Jerry Buss, who's like a fucking crazy good owner who could personally smooth these things over. And who was not opposed to spending money, just wanted to be smart about it.
Right. So it's like, you know, you had an owner who could personally smooth these things over and who was not opposed to spending money just wanted to be smart about it right so it's like you know you had an owner who ultimately did have your back we don't have that right and it's like and so you had that going on and then it's like well look stay here and we'll fucking i've proven that i can win before and i'll do it again and then they went out and got fucking pal gasol and they had the whole second run of Kobe's career.
It's like none of that shit. Lamar had, maybe even if the Ravens were like, we fucked up so bad and we'll do anything to keep you.
I think they fucked up the relationship so bad. Oh, and Kobe had an agent, right? Who was the buffer.
That buffer is really the fuck. Cause shit like this, he could come back.
If he had an agent, I honestly wouldn't even be this apoplectic right now. I'd like we can figure it out we'll fucking smooth it over it's the no buffer that's the fucked up thing you need ken francis to step in ken where the fuck is that cocksucker at make a call nfl please just give him a fucking let him be the agent for 72 hours let ken smooth this all over that would be great a pay-per-view ken francis gets like it's like a it's like a bomb that is about to go off.
Ken Francis gets 48 hours to figure this out. Just have a live game on him.
That's a great sports movie. Ken Francis saves the Baltimore Ravens.
Is Ken Francis actually real? Yeah. He might just be Lamar, right? No, he actually did something with Lamar.
They have like a weird, like, at-home gym thing. It's like just some guy that he sells like dumbbells with.
It's like, hey, what do you guys think? Fucking guarantee? 48-year guarantee? We're trying to get Billy certified as an agent. Hell yeah, dude.
How's that going? How's your project going? I need 2.5K. That's a weird way to say it.
2.5K. So you're cash poor right now.
Is that what you're saying? Not very liquid? Not very liquid. I'll put it in escrow for you.
Go and do it. The master's degree are seven years in negotiating experience.
Seven years ago, I was 17. Okay.
So what's going on? What I've been doing since 17 that counts as negotiations. Well, come on, Billy.
You've been trying to get girls not to let you wear a condom. That counts, probably.
Come on, I'm clean. We'll see if that works on the application.
Yeah, lying is another way of negotiating. Your entire life is a negotiation.
Boom. Every time you claimed your internet was down so you couldn't put on a blog.
That's a negotiation. That's a fact.
Oh, stop. I got a present for you as a Baltimore guy.
Oh, hell you go As an Orioles guy My man Here you go This is the Billy Ripken Oh hell yes The fuck face card Yes Where somebody wrote Fuck face on his back And he didn't know it When they were taking a picture This is fucking awesome Thank you so much This is huge actually Cause I Because I remember getting a Bill Ripken call, because we were opening packs in, I think it was second grade, and being like, and I'm like a foreign kid. We don't know about baseball.
My family has no shit. And I see Ripken, and I'm like, it's Ripken.
And I'm like celebrating, and all my fucking friends are like, that's fucking Bill Ripken. And I'm like, what? Who the fuck is this? So this is to turn that loss into a huge victory.
Yes, sentimental. But the fuck face card is huge.
Thank you, brother. All right.
So last thing, Roback question. I'm wearing it right now.
The joggers, the sweatshirt, everything. Roback.com.
Use code TAKE for 20% off your first purchase. Qs, zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, everything.
Tell us what you're doing right now so people can go see you. And also, we're going to have you guest lottery ball.
Oh, I would love to. Okay.
What am I doing right now? So, I have a pod. Last time I was here, I didn't have a podcast.
Stavvy's World, new podcast. I have people on.
You guys, before you go to Chicago, you should come fucking do the show. Yeah, we're in.
We will bring our our own ads so listen to that uh i have uh i have a crowd work special coming out soon just half hour of me fucking around in new york when i was getting ready for this tour so it's pretty fun on my YouTube channel, just Stavros Huggies on YouTube. And I'm on tour all over the place.
I got a big theater tour. So go to stavi.biz.
I'm actually coming to Ohio, so if you want to laugh at me in Cincinnati, in Columbus, in Cleveland, you can come fuck, you know, come rub it in that, you know, the quarterback has left the division probably. But I'm coming all over the place.
Florida. You're going to the Vic Theater in Chicago this weekend.
I'm at the Vic this weekend. Yeah.
Sold out. Sorry, fuckers.
Sorry, you fucking Chicago pieces of shit. Should have been faster.
Maybe the scalpers can get it. Maybe the scalpers can get it.
Maybe the scalpers can get you tickets. So, yeah, I'm on a huge tour.
And I am going back to Baltimore. It's funny because, like, as much as this, the character of, like, making fun of this guy has been, like, people think I'm that guy.
At the same time, it's funny because as much as the character of making fun of this guy has been like people think I'm that guy, at the same time it's made me hysterically popular in Baltimore. I sold out a venue that Yo-Yo Ma plays at.
I sold out the Lyric Opera House six times off the strength of dumbass Ravens fans. So thank you so much for that one.
He's like the best musician of the 21st century. Dude, it's hysterical.
Playing the most expensive instrument, can't sell it out. Stavi's like, I'm going to sell my girlfriend's pussy.
I'm going to talk about how little my dick is. But yeah, so all that shit.
See me on tour, the YouTube channel, and listen to Stavi's World. So that's that.
And then what's the other part of the question? Lottery ball. Oh, the lottery ball.
Fuck, yeah. So this will be an official guess for everyone in this room.
Billy, let the guess go first. Yeah, let the guess go first, numbers.
Oh, fuck. I'm torn between doing the number Billy wants.
I'd love to just be like, Hank later But I actually want that number

So that like

What's his guess last

Well he always guessed 17

17 it is

Okay

Perfect

Alright

69

Yeah that was my

Yeah

I'm gonna do 44

I'll do

20

18

What's uh

I'll do 8 for Lamar

Oh I should've done 8

5 for Flacco

Okay 5 for Flacco

It's gonna be 8

And I'm gonna feel like an asshole

I don't know. 18.
What's, I'll do eight for Lamar. Oh, I should have done eight.
Five for Flacco.

Okay, five for Flacco. It's going to be eight, and I'm going to feel like an asshole.

This does count.

Official.

Official record.

This counts.

Come on, stop it.

It's going to be eight.

Ten.

Oh, Mitch Trubisky on the Ravens.

No.

Fuck you.

Don't say that.

It's a great guy. Big Bing comes back for one more year.
He wants to play in Baltimore. Stick to the Pittsburgh Hill.
Dude, no. Oh, my God.
All right. Well, thank you, man.
Appreciate it as always. Thank you, guys.
It was awesome. Stavros is brought to you by our great friends over at the Black Tucks.
Cinderella's head into the ball.

FAU, the Owls, hoot up.

San Diego State, underdog.

Miami, underdog.

There's three massive underdogs.

And there's Cinderella going to the big dance,

and you might as well get dressed up for it.

I'm dressed up for it. The whole squad's dressed up for the Cinderella ball at the Final Four.

We're going with her.

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Everybody in this room right now looks

great, except for Max. We look

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And that's not a knock against Max. He's got the

Thank you. $20 with the black text.
We look good. Everybody in this room right now looks great except for Max.
We look great wearing these suits. Me too.
And that's not a knock against Max. He's got the gym rat look going on.
Billy looks like Villanova wasn't invited to the dance. A guy from like the 1920s where he has a nice colored suit but it'd be a black and white picture.
I don't know if that makes sense. Billy looks like we're all going to a really nice dinner and he's going to park our car.
That. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
And Jake looks like he's going to take our order. Yeah.
And we're going to have a great dinner. We're going to make an excellent selection.
But we like you guys. You're part of the crew.
Just don't ding up my Maserati. We got to go somewhere cool with this and try to get into somewhere cool.
We'll break. Have you ever worn a suit? No, but like like i feel like when you're dressed like it feels like a superman you can get away with anything yeah like you can like trespass and like you're a guy in the suit no one has any idea like you're you look like yeah well that gentleman's supposed to be yeah financial crimes to take down the entire united states yeah no problem if sbf had been wearing a tuxedo yep people would be like this guy's a genius i'm hopping on the train going to FIDI I'm going to go commit some white collar crime Perfect crime I just looked it up with the Dan Snyder sale I was curious how much he bought the team for How much do you think he paid for it in 1998 800 million Yeah it was 800 million dollars And now he's selling it billion.
Damn. Think about how incompetent he's been, not just in terms of winning Super Bowls, but in terms of just pissing away money and fan interest, merch sales, ticket sales.
He's the worst person to ever do it, and he still made $5.2 billion off this deal. I mean, part of my take investment advice, buy an NFL team.
Yeah, you can't go wrong. It works.
It works.2 billion. That's hard.
I mean, part of my take investment advice by an NFL team.

Yeah,

you can't go wrong.

It works.

It works.

All right, guys on chicks.

Hey,

fellas.

I just started listening with my boyfriend who just started a new job that is remote from home.

This is his first job working remote,

and now I can't get him out of the house because he says he's swamped.

Any tips?

He's swamped?

He's swamped at his new job working from home he's just lying to you there's the working from home is like you only do half the work yeah that's the beauty of it yeah you just basically fuck around all day and then because every job in the world is the same there's let's say 40 hour work week that you're supposed to work when really if anyone actually looked into it you can get your job done in like five to six hours of really hard work that's just a fact that's how america was built billy's nodding his head yeah he knows that's a fact like you you you can if you are sitting in a desk right now you're nodding along as well because you're like, yeah, you know what? If anyone figured out the fact that I could do my entire week's worth of work on a Monday morning, probably wouldn't get paid as much. Probably wouldn't have that job.
That's actually usually you do it on, like, a Thursday afternoon is when I would do all my work. The nice thing about having a job where you have to get out of the house is all the errands that you run on your way to and home from work.
Traffic home. And so he doesn't do any.
He's not doing errands anymore. And one errand leads to another.
You need to have some sort of errand schedule set in for him. Yes.
Just to get him out of the office and to be out of the house. And so he interacts with other people in the world.
Also, just put a nanny cam in his home office. And just be like, I've checked the tapes, you spent four hours on browsers, you played a bunch of snood, and yeah, you just dicked around and looked at your fantasy team for 50% of the work week.
Yep. Next.
Hank, I'm going to say this. With your black tux, you look like you can read.
Wow. Yeah.
I can't. Well, yeah.
But I look like I can. Yeah, you look like you can.
You should rock a monocle. There's a moth in the studio right now.
How is that possible? Get me out of this city. What's up, boys? I recently had a guy ghost me so badly that it resembled the dentist system.
He was traveling slash camping and told me, sorry, I don't have service. And my texts to him were green, so it made sense.
However, a few days later, where I knew... However...
Oh, man. Never mind.
I take it back. However, a few days later, when I knew he was supposed to be back the texts were still green i had my friend call his phone to see if it would go through stalker originally it went straight to voicemail only for him to text back who is this 10 minutes later why do this psycho behavior and block me instead of just telling me he wasn't into it anymore.
Where do I find guys that aren't such P words? Love y'all. AWL Dre.
Aw, Dre. No offense to this woman, but.
Who's being the psycho in this situation? Yeah, and also, why just press one button on your phone versus having to have an uncomfortable conversation because we're all pussies and that's the easiest way to deal with things in life. Ghost is so simple dude you remember back in the day you'd have like your friend break up with your like girlfriend on aim i think like that we're the we're the biggest cowards in the world it depends on what went on here though like if there was like you know a date intercourse maybe there should be some conversations of like all right this isn't going well if it was just like uh you were just talking or like hadn't met up or anything like ghost away yeah i think i think there's levels to like it's scumbag behavior if you've kind of gone through some steps oh it's dark yeah it's scumbag behavior but it's it's you know the thought process yeah we are cowards there's also a good chance that this girl is like a little clingy, sounds like.
No, where'd you get that vibe from? All this detective work. And so maybe it's just he knew that having that conversation with you, you would not take it well.
Show up to his house. Also, I mean, it also depends like if he wasn't traveling camping, he truly was just delaying the inevitable.
Like, oh, I'm not going to text you this week because I'm traveling camping. And then.
Yeah. No, this guy, I know exactly how his brain is working right now.
And I say, you executed it flawlessly. Now, what you should do is you should fake a pregnancy.
Yeah. That's the best way to get him back.
Either that or say, I'm going to kill myself if you don't respond to my text. These are all totally healthy ways to handle this situation.
We got one more?

There's also a total chance that this occurred over like from a Friday,

and it's now like Monday, Tuesday, and he has texted her back already.

Probably not. She's totally panicked.

No, if you're blocking.

You never unblock.

Yeah, you don't unblock.

You just forget.

We got an Android.

Yeah, I'm not going to be a ghost apologist,

but you don't just block someone for no reason.

Hey, lottery ball winners, except Hank, fuck you.

Also, if you... Nah, never mind.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Say it, say it, say it, say it, say it.
No. Say it.
No. You have to say it.
Say it in a British accent. People that tweet me that are like...
Say it in a British accent. Hey, Hank, I won the lottery ball today.
No, you fucking didn't. Yeah, you did.
No, you didn't yeah they did there's no there's no there's no correlation there's no evidence you're wrong you're just making shit up to make me feel bad and no people play the lottery ball at home all the time that's the best part about this people are invested in it and they play it with their friends and they get it that's like saying you know I won a fucking rec league game I won the NBA championship the NBA championship. Like, absolutely not.
No, I actually will disagree with the sir over here. If you play at home and you get it authentically, you get a ring.
But, yeah, they're just lying. No, they're not.
Hank, you would kill for a rec league championship right now. Yeah.
The amount of people that listen to the show, there's only 100 options. That means hundreds of people get it every day that's a good point boss yeah yeah yeah and also i've seen people like show the text where they guess it in a group chat and then they get it right that's real fake okay believe in something man you're such a heartless i didn't finish that sentence no people are just people are just mean you're heartless bitch you're you're lottery ball winners except Hank So my 29 year old husband has had a small grey spot In his hair On the top of his head for most of his life His friends have always made fun of him for it And he's asking me should he dye it What should I tell him No He's a skunk Yeah he got that cool look Dennis Schroeder who is that one guy that was on on uh talk soup for a long time that had was it Hinson that had the one yeah gray spot on the side it's a good look it's distinguished yeah people know you for something like a leopard what what Hank I'm also I'm also and it's fair you know this is the price you pay for vacation but like like 17 is going to hit next week.
Yeah, and that's unfortunate that we're not going to let you participate. Should we just give Hank 17 for next week? No.
No. It doesn't count.
I would just be the same as these fucking fraud-ass listeners. Yeah, no, vacation means that you don't get to play.
I know. I know.
If I were you sitting in your seat, never gotten it, I wouldn't go on vacation. What would you do, Hank? Would you rather give up a vacation to get the lottery? No.
It's not real. So you don't care about it? It's a stupid game.
It's a dumb machine. Oh, it's real.
Buy the shirts, by the way. It means nothing.
Buy the shirts. All right, so should we do it? Have you ever gotten this? Numbers? I'll do 17.
16 and 18. What did you guess last week? 6.
What did you guess? He guessed all the numbers. Was it 9-4 seeds? 23.
23. I'll go 23.
6 for how much they're paying for the football team, even though it's not going to go through. No.
6 has never been picked. 20.
Oh, let's go. 6-God.
Drizzy. Running through the six.
PFT, the Aaron Rodgers thing hasn't gone through, so sympathize with you. Who's close? 50.
50. Not even close.
That's an easy number to guess. 50? Right down the middle.
Yeah. Tied for the lead nine times.
Oh, hey.

47, 50, 52, 64.

If Hank had just stuck with 50, he would be the leader. Well, the funniest part is that if Hank had just stuck with any ball,

he would probably be winning.

Yeah, there's only like three or four that he wouldn't have gotten.

6, 20, 6, 29.

I picked one of the three that haven't been picked.

Damn.

You're pretty bad.

You're so bad.

I've swung around.

I used to be like, you know, this is a game of chance.

It doesn't make a difference what number you pick.

But you are actually bad.

You're pretty bad. You're so bad.
I've swung around. I used to be like, you know, this is a game of chance.
It doesn't make a difference what number you pick. But you are actually bad.
You're picking three, not even in the machine. You're picking numbers that have never been picked in the history of the league.
You're terrible at this. You're very bad at this game.
You're a bad person. Actually, this is personal now.
You are a bad lottery ball machine player. Just stick with the same number.
Shut the fuck up, Jake.

I'm just saying.

We've all gotten it because we stick with the same numbers. Yeah.

Hank hasn't figured that part out.

He's got 90 systems, none of which work.

Who's hit with multiple numbers?

Oh, I have.

All right.

See everyone on Friday.

Love you guys.

Norwegian brown rats are typically the rat found in New York, Chicago, and many

other areas, but the black rat is what caused

the plague.

Check it out! I'll be coming for your love of faith Love of faith

Stay on me

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I'll be gone

We're up to you

We'll see you next time. I'll keep on living to you.
Needless to say, I'm all descended.

But I need to stumble and wait.

Suddenly, life is okay.

Say after me.

It's so better to be safe inside.

To be safe inside.

We'll see you next time. It's so bad it didn't say it's all It didn't say it's all Take me on me Take me on Take me on I'll be gone We're not trying to Take me on So So So Thank you.
the benitude and say it's on you say it's on you say it's on you say it's on you say it's on me

say it's on me

say it's on me

say it's on me

say it's on me

say it's on me

say it's on me

say it's on me

say it's on me

say it's on me

say it's on me

say it's on me

say it's on me

say it's on me

say it's on me

say it's on me Thank you. We'll be right back.