Brackets With Stanford Steve, Snooki In Studio + NFL Free Agency

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we got a twofer for the people. One of the biggest mismatches in height, Snooki and Stanford Steve.
I'd say the biggest difference in combination of height and weight. Yeah.
Any guest combo we've had. And I can't believe they came on together.
It's fantastic. It was crazy.
Now they're the best of friends. Yes, exactly.
No, we have Snooki. We actually taped it probably about a month ago.
Very good interview but first up we have Stanford Steve we're going to get into the bracket into the picks into how to survive March Madness. He is a veteran of the game.

He's going to tell us it all.

We're going to talk some NFL free agency.

Aaron Rodgers has still not decided as the taping of this show.

We're going to do Hot Seat, Cool Throne,

and then we're going to do FAQ's March Madness edition.

So gambling, brackets, all that stuff, questions from the listeners.

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It's part of my take, presented by Barstool Sports. Welcome to Part of My Take.
Today is Wednesday, March 15th. Is that the Ides of March? No, that's Friday.
That's the 5th, right? No, the Ides of March. Yeah, the Ides of March.
Bad day to be Julius Caesar. Yes.
And Aaron Rodgers is being a fucking bitch. He is being a bitch.
He's being a real bitch. Everyone, if you didn't know Aaron Rodgers was a bitch before this, cat's out of the bag.
This is actually, yeah, this is like vindication for me where everyone has slowly been like, dude, just make a decision. This is annoying.
You're holding everyone else up, which actually he's not anymore, which is nice that everyone's going going about their business but as of the taping of this i think we all assume he's going to announce it on the pat mcafee show that he's going to the jets uh and if he doesn't memes is going to have an absolute meltdown well he is he is kind of holding the jets up yeah that's definitely well he's waiting he's making sure all of his friends get there first flight delayed yeah he's actually he's taking the jets hostage in a way so he he is pretty much demanding that all of his friends get there first. It's a flight delayed.
Yeah, he's actually taking the Jets hostage in a way.

So he is pretty much demanding that all of his friends are going to join him.

So Aaron Rodgers has put together a wish list.

At this point, it's probably Randall Cobb, Odell Beckham.

Lazard, he got.

Lazard, the QAnon Shaman.

Mercedes Lewis.

And Jordy Nelson, probably. It'd be sick if Eddie Lacy called him and was like, dude, what about me? Great China food in New York.
Great China food. Aaron Rodgers being that guy who you text your buddies and you're like, what time are you all planning on showing up? And everyone's like, oh, we'll be there at 9.
And then they deliberately show up at 9.45 to be the cool, fast, really late guy. Yeah, it would be very funny if he told the Jets he was to go there they signed his friends and then he retired yeah that'd be funny that would be very jazz now i don't i don't hate aaron rogers like you do i think he's an interesting guy i like to make fun of him because he certainly gives us a lot of material to work with but in this case everyone can admit aaron rogers being a bitch he's being the worst he is being worst.
So, yeah, we're waiting for that. I do have one thing I want to point out on the Aaron Rodgers front before.
Again, he's probably going to announce it on Wednesday, so everyone should expect that. I just want him out of my life.
That's all I've wanted. I know Packers fans are like, oh, Jordan loves it next coming.
Let's relax. I have at least a year before I have have to admit that R-E-L-A-P-S-E yes exactly that's I'm fine yeah so wait so I had this thing so I want you to take memes and Billy Billy would like this a lot um how much as Jets fans are you putting into account the conspiracy theory that Aaron Rodgers being on the jets will finally counteract Joe Namath selling his soul to the devil? Because a WFAN caller called in and was given a lot of time that the theory goes, and I guess it's actually like kind of not a well-known conspiracy theory, but there's more than one guy in New Jersey or New York who believes this,

that to win the 1969 super bowl joe namath had to sell his soul to the jets so the jets have just had no soul for the last 54 years

and this caller goes on to say that aaron rogers is the opposite of that energy because of his

psychedelic use and uh his darkness retreats that he will somehow bring the soul back into the jets

Well, what has to happen is Aaron Rodgers needs to get really, really high, so high that he sees the devil. Right.
And then buy Joe Namath's soul back from the devil. Yes.
I think he can do it. A sign in trade.
I think he can get high enough. I really do.
If anybody can do it, it's Aaron. Yeah, so are you guys – have you guys – Billy, I'm sure you've heard of this conspiracy theory.

Well, absolutely.

My grandfather was NYPD.

He once saw Joe Namath playing catch with a beer can outside of a nightclub

before a big game, bet on him because he told him to hand him a $100 bill.

And he won the game.

This is a real story.

This is kind of the reason why my family are Jets fans. And then everybody cracked.
And I absolutely believe that he sold his soul to the devil for that Super Bowl. But I don't know if Aaron Rodgers' psychedelic use is nevertheless, like, going to reverse that or embrace it.
Because if he embraces it, it actually might have the exact same effect of reversing it. Who knows? If he embraces the lack of soul, soul death? Yes.
I mean, ego death, soul death, same thing, psychedelic usage. If he comes over here with some grandmaster plan that isn't of anything of Christianity, who knows what happens.
The caller said, he said, now personally with the psychedelic part of it, I think that Aaron Rodgers is finding out how to combat the devil when he comes face-to-face with him once he walks into MetLife Stadium. So I just saw this and I was like, hey, you can mute Billy's mic.
It's got a weird sound. I saw it and I was like, hey, every other show is going to just talk about Aaron Rodgers and not signing.
We should probably address the fact that this signing will finally defeat the devil in MetLife Stadium. Well, it makes sense because Sam Darnold was seeing ghosts there, right? That's a fact.
So is MetLife hell. They had the black cat that ran out on the field.
This is all adding up for me, actually. I feel like the Jets are haunted.
Yeah, I do too. I do too.
So Aaron Rodgers. I'm going to love Aaron Rodgers.
I'm going to love how he treats the New York media because he's going to treat them like dog shit. Yes.
He's going beneath dog shit. He already is, and he's not even a Jet.
That's the best part. That's going to be very funny to watch how he deals with, as we learned from Billy's presentation, the venomous New York media.
Yeah. So I'm looking forward to that.
Now, Leroy did get a scoop yesterday and put put it out I just want to make it clear that Leroy's information is rock solid and different than Trey Wingo's different than Trey Wingo's Trey Wingo had everyone uh he basically called it done in the afternoon on Monday memes was cursing Trey Wingo's name uh after that happened yeah so so the information that was passed to Leroy was that Aaron has been telling people close to him including this one person who I can verify is very close to Aaron Rogers that he's going to New York so now he's just kind of taking his time yeah he's waiting he's chilling he likes to be the talk of everyone he basically has found a way to make his signing uh like four day fodder and then he's gonna somehow spin it and be like the media always talks about me and it's bullshit and i don't like it but yeah he has held up everyone um he likes to be the center of attention this is what he's doing hold on we got last three don't foul they fouled i knew this was gonna happen i have southern missouri plus three and a half i saw this coming from a mile away. That's all I want to say.
It's good to get your first loss out of the way, the first game of the tournament. That's true.
Nothing but good, Juju, from there on. That was so fucking brutal, and you knew the math in your head if they didn't shoot late enough that that exact thing was going to happen.
We also got Sam Darnold to the 49ers, which I love. I love that signing.
I feel like we always say, imagine any quarterback in Kyle Shanahan's system. Sam Darnold works in Kyle Shanahan's system in my brain.
It also tells me that they really don't like Trey Lance at all. And not sure if Purdy's going to be healthy for the start of the season.
My guess is that he's probably not if he just got the surgery right now but i think the fact that they signed sam donald means that we can probably take tom brady out of the question yeah of if he's going to the 49ers sam donald is going to take the niners to an nfc championship game and we're all going to be like is sam donald good no he's on the niners yeah that's just what happens when you go on the niners you play with really good players and, and you get really good. Yeah, I mean, Brock Purdy.
I still think Brock Purdy could be the guy, but then I think you put Brock Purdy on, I don't know, for example, the Seahawks or the Raiders, and he's one of the worst quarterbacks in the league. But for whatever reason, it works.
Every offense should be run like the San Francisco 49ers offense. So we have some other free agent signings we should get through.
I mean, we talked about Derek Carr last week. I don't know what the Raiders are doing.
Jimmy Garoppolo, it feels like Josh McDaniels is doing the exact same thing that he did when he was in Denver where he's like, I got to get my Patriots guys in because I like Jimmy Garoppolo. Nice guy.
Derek Carr is better than Jimmy Garoppolo. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. But that was fractured.
What was the plan here? I guess maybe if they draft someone and he's your bridge quarterback? They might draft somebody, but that relationship is fractured between Derek Carr and Josh McDaniels. But then you go back and you say, well, who fractured that relationship? Oh, yeah.
Josh McDaniels. Right.
Right. So Derek Carr goes to the Saints.
Jameis Winston re-signed with the Saints, by the way a backup Andy Dalton to the Panthers he's staying in division you never want to see that if you're the Saints no how could you let a guy if you really love Andy Dalton you you would do whatever it takes to get him off the off the streets and not go to a division rival the Panthers are signing everybody yeah Panthers David Tepper is like you know what I got money let's spend it I'm a rich guy. I was actually thinking about the whole Bears draft trade

with the Panthers the other day.

And if there's a guy that would want to buy a distressed asset

like the Bears' first overall pick

and then flip it for more money later,

it is David Tepper.

He would treat it like the stock market.

Yeah, that is true.

And Max, your Eagles have been gutted. They got a little haircut.
Gutted. Rashad Penny.
Rashad Penny. That's true.
And Boston Scott. So you're good.
And Kelsey. Those guys play defense? They play defense? N'Kobe Dean, Jordan Davis.
Draft those guys for a reason. The biggest one was obviously Javon Hargrave going to the 49ers, which makes the 49ers defense even scarier than it already was.
Oh, Bradbury also. Bradbury resigned.
Yeah, that's the guy who... Stop.
Bradbury was good this year. Bradbury saved a life, though.
He did. He saved that ref's life.
He saved the ref's life after the Super Bowl by saying that he held him. Texans got Case Keenum.
Going to have to be reminded of that, Jake, maybe two weeks before the season starts. It's coming home.
Case Keenum returns to where he started his career. That'll be nice to see.
It was also just a reminder that he's still in the league. Yeah.
Yeah. The Bears have actually got T.J.
Edwards, another Badger. So we got Jack Sanborn and T.J.
Edwards, the Badger linebackers, and Tremaine Edmonds, also a good signing. Listen, I know that people are going to be like, oh, the Bears, it's always good to win the offseason.
Like, crown them now. They're going to win.
I've seen the meme going around. If you like me at 3 and 14, you'll love me at 6 and 11.
That's a hurtful meme. I don't like it.
But the Bears have a – they're the worst team in the NFL. They had to start filling holes.
I saw a stat where they signed Edmonds, TJ Edwards, and Nate Davis, who's going to hopefully shore up the offensive line although they need to do more work on it. And they still have the most cap space because they're bad team with a with no good players and they need to get good players they had to do this right you'd rather win the offseason than lose it said the same thing about the eagles last year yeah everyone was and i i also like how ryan poles is doing this because um it's it's how i would run a team in terms of like you just are going position by position and checking boxes so

you don't have to worry about it anymore so he did dj more all right we don't have to worry about

drafting a wide receiver then he went and got a bunch of linebackers like okay we're good there

one less thing i have to worry about in the draft that's a very like or like in my mind i'm like

that's smart how he's doing it i don't know if it is i think it is and yeah i'm very excited the

bears are signing guys well when you're 3 and 14 you have a lot of positions of need we were the

So, worst. We were so bad on the defensive side of the ball and I know people are like, oh, you're signing linebackers.
You got rid of Roquan Smith. Matt Eberflus was a really good coach of the linebackers at the Indianapolis Colts.
So I think he's going to get the most out of these guys, and I'm very excited. And TJ Edwards is a Chicago guy, so I'm happy.

I'm happy.

And people are trying to ruin my happiness.

Can I give you some advice?

Yeah, I'm not going to let him.

No, I'm not letting him.

Just log off.

No, no.

Just touch grass for a second.

Listen, people are going to try to ruin it.

I won't let him do it.

What did Tyler, the creator, say?

Like, you can't get cyberbullied.

What do you think?

Just turn off your phone.

Yeah, no, listen. I know what people are trying to to do and i know that you have to play the games no one does win the offseason uh no one wins the super bowl in the offseason but the bears are doing things that are making me happy and i'm gonna sit here and be happy about i also saw a stat that the teams that spin the most in free agency they actually improve the most in terms of win win percentage.
We have terrible players. You have to, if you have a bad team, you have to get better at playing football.
How do you get better at playing football? You get better players. Yep.
How do you get better players? Free agency. Yeah.
So it's happening. It's not like a long, if a team is established and they've got a good culture and they're a well-run organization, then yeah, maybe you don't build in free agency as much.
Maybe you just rely on what works, which is the draft. But if you're starting with a pile of dog shit, you've got to plant a couple roses in there.
And also, this free agency, because Alan Lazard went to the Jets, Jacoby Myers went to the Raiders, which, again, Josh McDaniels is just like, I've got to get as many New England guys guys in here. Is he going to play quarterback? Yeah, I don't know.
But it made me realize I like to DJ Moore trade even more because there was no wide receivers. Who were the big wide receivers that were moving? Yeah, Odell Beckham.
I don't think he was coming to Chicago. Probably not.
And you have to figure out quickly what you have with justin fields this next year you can't be like all right hopefully we draft someone who's really really good so that great that i've now made it a plus plus there we go trade this this whole legal tampering window is so funny to me that the nfl came out and said well okay it's tampering but it's legal now starting two days before free agency the illegal thing we, it's still going to be illegal, but we're going to make it temporarily legal for two days. They're going to have to have a legal tampering window that opens up because these deals get done even before the legal tampering window starts.
They're just going to have to keep backing up. The one player that it's affecting, you know who that is? Who? Lamar.
Yeah. Because Lamar doesn't have an agent.
Yes. So it would be illegal legal tampering if they tried to legal tamper with Lamar because they would be contacting him directly.
Another team would be reaching out directly to Lamar, who's under contract with the Baltimore Ravens. So they have to wait until Wednesday to reach out to start that negotiation process.
Yeah. Yeah.
And it's the Lamar Jackson Ravens relationship, I would say, is not going well. No.
What was the tweet? He tweeted out somebody said, this is why you turned down $200 million guaranteed, and then he just did a cap meme at him. Yeah.
Like, this is cap, and then he replied with, $133 million guaranteed, but I need an agent. And then the why the buddy pregnant emoji.

But I think he was saying that he maybe had an offer from the Ravens of $133 million a year or $133 million guaranteed for three years.

And so that might be what he turned down.

But the shit's going to hit the fan pretty soon with Lamar.

We're going to find out.

I'm sure that there are going to be some teams that are going to finally okay yes we are desperate let's let's at least try yeah let's try to do this and it just whenever uh it devolves to memes on twitter your contract negotiations i'm gonna just say it's not going well yeah i feel like that's a fair way to to assess the situation it's not good um all right so we also had uh let's see, McGlinchey went to the Broncos. He's a recurring guest.
We never talked about the Jalen Ramsey trade to the Dolphins. The Dolphins feel a little super team-ish in a bad way.
A lot of dudes. You're just thinking of Jalen Ramsey.
When Jalen Ramsey went to the Rams, it's like, okay, super team.

Now he's going to the Dolphins, so you think that that super team carries over a little bit.

They're happy with Tua.

They're going to stick with Tua apparently.

And I hope Tua plays.

Yeah.

I was looking at what they got, what the Rams got for Jalen Ramsey.

It's not really anything.

No.

It's not a lot.

That's what happens.

It was the same thing last year with Khalil Mack.

And everyone's like, oh, you didn't get anything. If a guy's a little bit older and he's getting a lot of money, it's hard to move him.
Yeah. I like the move, though.
Yeah. If I'm Jalen Ramsey, I love the move.
Yeah. The Dolphins are going to be very good.
I just... They have a lot of dudes.
He's making... They have a lot of names now.
I need to look at the stats and see how much more money he's going to make in Florida because no state income tax. Oh, it's going to be huge.
As opposed to California. It's going to be huge.
What other big... Oh, Darren Waller to the Giants.
Darren Waller to the Giants. I love that move.
Yeah, I mean, anywhere Darren Waller goes, that's an addition. And there was a weird...
So, I think I have this right. Darren Waller just got married to...
I don't know her name. She's on the Las Vegas Aces.
And I think they were trying to keep the wedding under wraps, and Josh McDaniels accidentally said it out loud at the combine, and then he got traded 10 days later. So that, yeah, I would be upset if I was Darren Waller.
Now, I would like to go ahead and say full scholarship on the table right now for Darren Waller's kid with the Las Vegas Aces player. Yeah, let me find her name.
We're being very misogynistic. In any sport to James Madison University.
Love that. The offer's out.
It's unborn. Kelsey Plum.
Kelsey Plum. Kelsey Plum.
Kelsey Plum and Kelsey Plum's husband. Their child, I would like to make a scholarship offer.
Any sport. Yeah.
Regardless of what it is, that a freak all right so according to a report waller was upset with josh mcdaniels the head coach apparently leaked the news of the wedding with wmba star kelsey plum by accident during the nfl scouting combine waller was upset with mcdaniels when the las vegas review journal posted a story announcing the wedding was scheduled later in the week so it was before the wedding the couple The couple had not publicly announced their plans to get married. Josh McDaniel is just repeating history.
Like this guy can't get out of his own way. A lot of people don't like their Las Vegas weddings to be following them around places.
Were they married by an Elvis impersonator? But this is just so classic Josh McDaniel. Like, how do you actually do that? He's like, hey, coach, I'm getting married, trying to keep it under wraps.
He goes to the combine. and he's like, oh yeah, Darren Wall coach i'm getting married trying to keep it under wraps he goes to the combine he's like oh yeah darren waller's getting married trying to keep it under wraps how do you how do you possibly accidentally leak that information that's that you know what darren you you probably shouldn't have told josh mcdaniels yeah he wouldn't have known well knowing josh mcdaniels he probably didn't like darren waller was like here's how i can get him mad so he demands a trade.
Yeah. History repeating itself.
Josh McDaniels. Just pissing off all his players.
He's going to go back to New England and then he's going to get hired again as a head coach in five years. He's just going to piss off everyone.
Yep. Yeah.
All right. What other ones did we miss? Anything else? Stephon Gilmore got traded.
Oh, yeah. Matt Ryan got cut.
Now, Stephon Gilmore. Oh, he did.
Yeah, that's right. That was sad.
He should sad he should have just retired yeah Stefan Gilmore is one of those guys that like he was really elite and he hasn't been elite but you see his name flash and you're like oh shit nice job nice job Cowboys still good still good if I could draft him in my fantasy league I would and everyone would be like that's a reach I'm reach. I'm like, what are you talking about? He was awesome five years ago.
Yeah, the Cowboys are happy with him. A lot of players on the Cowboys were making.
It felt like they were doing the eyeball emoji tweet. Yeah.
A lot of those guys. And the speculation is that they might try to get Hopkins because Hopkins is going to be available.
Ooh. A lot of teams want Hopkins, though.
Yeah. I would say the Patriots, but the Patriots, they don't really like having good wide receivers anymore.
Yeah, I'm trying to think. I'm going through the whole list.
Marcus Davenport to the Vikings. That should help their defense, although I feel like Mike White going to the Dolphins.
The New York Post, or maybe it was WFAN, posted a picture of him with a halo around him that looked like he died. Yeah, it did.
I did the Dwight Howard Lord Carry Him Now because it actually looked like Mike White's dead. No, he's just going to Florida.
That's what happens to people from New York right before they die. Yeah, right.
Exactly. He's going to die.
We all do. The Falcons got Taylor Heineke.
Yep. Fly free, my sweet prince.
Yep. A lot of people were trying to get under my skin about that this morning online.
I'm happy for him. Yeah.
Hey, can I give you a piece of advice? I'm consistent on that. Log off.
Log off. I did.
I logged off for quite a while today. I'm very happy for Taylor.
He got paid $20 million, two-year contract. Always welcome on the show.
$10 million a year, always welcome, and he knows that he'll come back on.

But good for him.

I'm happy for him.

My prediction is that he's going to be the starting quarterback next year.

I think he's going to beat out Desmond Ritter in camp.

That's just what Taylor Heineke does.

And the fact that they're giving him a bunch of money.

Why aren't the Falcons trying to get Lamar Jackson?

I don't know.

Didn't they try to get Deshaun Watson?

Yeah, they were in on that. If you were in on Deshaun Watson, why wouldn't you be in on Lamar Jackson? They, I don't know.
Didn't they try to get Deshaun Watson? Yeah, they were in on that. If you were in on Deshaun Watson, why wouldn't you be in on Lamar Jackson? I think they've got that cap room assigned for Will Compton.
Yeah, I guess so. But that doesn't make sense, right? On paper? No, it doesn't.
I would rather have Lamar Jackson. It doesn't at all.
If you're going to spend a lot with all the warts of Deshaun Watson, you're going to spend all that. We don't know he's got words yeah that's true uh hand job that wasn't part of it yeah the uh you think lamar jackson would be maybe thought about yeah tires yeah well what was weird is they were the first team i think to say we're not going after lamar but maybe they were just saying that because the tampering window they can't content we're not going after lamar jackson until wednesday till wednesday then we're then it's on then it's big time lamar um oh yeah jared stidham's on the broncos now he's gonna really push russell wilson there we go yeah so all right so the the raiders they have jimmy g at quarterback now and who else uh i don't know they'll probably get like ryan mallett or someone maybe bailey zappy i don't know although bailey Bailey Zappi came in after Joshua James left.
I was about to say, based on vibes,

they seemed like they would go for a former Texans quarterback, Davis Mills.

Yeah, or Brian Hoyer.

Is he still around?

Yeah, he's probably around.

Where's Brian Hoyer?

Matt Castle.

Yeah.

I think Shefty put out a tweet earlier today that was saying that Chad Henney

has received interest from at least one team, But as for now, he's still retired. So Chad Henney could come and play for the Raiders.
Also, stay very woke on this. Shefter, we love him.
Shefter's gaming the system. Oh.
He is now. He's gone through a pattern.
And I've seen this on like four or five different tweets that he's put out. When he's breaking the news live, he will say the transaction.
And then he'll edit the tweet to add in a picture. Oh.
After it's already been tweeted out. So he's doing the speed.
So he's going for speed, but also by uploading that picture, it makes that tweet stay at the top of people's timelines. Oh.
Because it's like this is and for whatever reason elon has it in the programming where even as you keep refreshing if it's an edited tweet it stays at the top so he's like retweeting himself constantly constantly retweeting himself by editing every tweet once what a genius i mean that's why he's that's why he's at the top of the game yeah um all right before we go to hot seat cool throne memes i want to hear from you real quick where are you at mentally not great i just want this to be over yeah yeah he's really this is what he's gonna do though he's like it's basically getting the relationship off on a wrong foot yeah yeah can i tell you something uh aaron rogers great quarterback really really really really really good great quarterback I have a feeling like the way that this Has started feels like his Heart's not all the way into playing for the Jets Right Yeah but historically Speaking makes sense Yeah I mean he's going to be the best quarterback that you guys Have had on the team for a very long Probably since T he's yeah probably ever he's still gonna be that good it's ever but you have to question it I mean not to not to bring up barstool van talk but it is kind of like that scenario yeah it seems like even before it happens it's off to a rocky start so what I'm saying is they're they're gonna bench him after one quarter if it follows in our footsteps I'm saying, right? Yeah. It feels like if Aaron Rodgers really, really wanted to play for the Jets badly, this probably would have been over by now.
Oh, yeah, for sure. But what's the deal with Randall Cobb? I mean, he's a security guard.
Somebody's got to explain that. Aaron Rodgers just loves him.
He's his best friend. Yeah.
He's going everywhere. I respect that about Aaron Rodgers.

Yeah.

He's like, if you're going to sign me, you got to sign Randall Cobb.

And you know what?

We're doing the Twitter.

We're trying to ruin your fun.

So let us not do that.

Aaron Rodgers on the Jets.

You guys will be a Super Bowl contender.

I really do believe that.

Oh, I agree.

Yeah.

I agree.

Look at that, memes.

Getting excited?

At least preseason.

Yeah.

You're going to have a full off season of buzz and expectations.

That's going to be fun.

Super Bowl?

Super Bowl contender.

No.

Yes.

No.

Absolutely.

I think going into the season.

I'm just in disbelief.

He hasn't been traded yet.

Okay, but if he's on the team, you are a Super Bowl contender in my mind.

I'm not doing this as like a bit. He is very, very good.
I know from firsthand experience how fucking good he is. All right, then.
All right. By the way, do you play the Bears next year? No.
No. Someone was like, would you rather, one of the worst would you rather I've ever seen on Twitter tweeted at me, would you rather the Packers win the Super Bowl or Aaron Rodgers and the Jets beat the Bears in the Super Bowl?

Like, I would definitely rather lose the Super Bowl.

Yeah, we've established that losing the Super Bowl is...

You mean the Bears go to the Super Bowl?

Losing the Super Bowl would be fucking sweet.

I still hate the Packers.

It's just I hate Aaron Rodgers as well.

But I hate the Packers more than Aaron Rodgers,

especially now that he's gone.

He's gone.

He's gone.

Hey, Hank isn't here. Should we do numbers? Yeah.
Yeah. Fuck it.
Yeah. What do you got, Billy? 69? Yeah, this counts.
This counts. Officially, this counts.
Wait, let me get my money out. This counts.
18. I'll go 17.
I'm going to go with – we have numbers at the end of the show, too, with Hank here, so he does get a real shot. I'm going to go 77.
Oh, man, if 17 comes up. 20, I would do anything for 17.
Anything. 12.
Anything. You and Drake.
Anything. Anything.
One. One.
Ew. Whoa.
Gross. Gross.
All right. we recorded the rest of the show earlier in the day, so let's kick it to ourselves.
Stanford Steve was awesome. March Madness tips, and so was Snooki.
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If I was to describe you in one word, it would be sadistic. Sadistic? Why? What is happening right now is just...
Hank accidentally told me that accidentally like this is a pride you know this is i thought it was a safe space i thought we're a family in here i thought we can tell each other things that when you know we're vulnerable or we're sensitive or like you know things that bother us and and it's going to be okay when has that ever been the case i told big cat yeah there's so many things i don't i didn't tell you guys i was afraid of heights for seven years that. So we went up to the Empire State Building.
Big Cat was rattled because me and PFT were right about how to highlight your bracket. No, PFT actually said he does it both ways.
He's bi-curious when it comes to bracket highlighting. Yeah, swing around.
In college, he did it one way, and in the rest of his life, he did it the other. It wasn't for me.
And Big Cat basically stole my bracket from me. Well, no, I'm holding your bracket because I want you to highlight every game when we're in Columbus.

And then he started to fold it up, and I cringed and was like, I really hate that sound of folding paper.

And Big Cat has spent the last 20 minutes being like, my headphones aren't on because I have to worry about sneak attacks now, which is problematic for this podcast.

I realize you just called folding paper a sneak attack on you.

It is.

We're now finally getting justice for your yawns.

No, that's the thing.

I'm going to have a piece of paper on me at all times.

Hank, release a yawn phone.

Oh.

We also found out that Max hates the sound of paper rubbing together.

Like this.

We got you guys in a corner.

Okay, go ahead.

Put your headphones back on.

I won't do it again.

No.

We got the sound of paper tearing when you go like...

Oh, I like that.

That's fine.

Okay.

Are you hot seat cool?

Oh, no, Hank, you winced. You winced a little.
That was a big win. You didn't like that, Max? Carson wins.
I mean, now we're just being rude to the listeners. People are going to be...
They don't care. No, they care.
No, they're happy. It's ASMR.
They used to care. They've changed.
My cool throne is... I have a couple.
First one is Wales. Oh, great.

You're not doing a hot seat first.

My hot seat was me because I have to deal with two sadistic freaks on the other side of the room.

Let your freak flag fly, Hank.

Yeah, I just feel like I can't be myself.

I can't be vulnerable, and that's sad.

And my cool throne is Wales.

Yeah.

Brendan Fraser won the Oscar. Dude, what a comeback for Brendan Fraser.
Yeah. Brendan Fraser, it turns out, is a universally beloved person.
Well, I mean, it's a tale as old as time when it comes to just culture. We tear people down, and then when we build them back up, we're like, we always loved that guy.
It's like, well, Hollywood, you teared him down for many many years yeah i'm proud to say i never tore down i did not participate in the tear down of brenda frazier school ties i still think monkey bone is a great film yeah mr uh encino man was the encino man was the movie with uh elizabeth hurley bedazzled wasn't it yeah was he steve nebraska i love that movie proud bonk that is maybe my most proud bonk of all time and to this day elizabeth hurley would yeah oh definitely wait wasn't he Steve Nebraska? I love that movie. A proud bonk.
That is maybe my most proud bonk of all time. And to this day, Elizabeth Hurley would.
Yeah. Oh, definitely.
Wait, wasn't he Steve Nebraska? And what was that movie? Georgia the Jungle is how I remember him. The Scout? Yeah, the Scout.
He was Steve Nebraska. That's right.
The pitcher that also hit dingers. And he pitched, I think, a perfect, perfect game.
Yep. Where he all strikes.
Yep. He got lowered into the stadium from a helicopter i believe dude i brendan frazier rocks so fuck you hollywood also fuck you hollywood for leaving off uh paulie walnuts um michael servino or no that's not his name fuck people are gonna get mad that i actually just doubled down on it was ray liotta on it yeah michael servino was right name no that was not his name fuck paul servino uh they left off some like pretty big names paul servino remember he was the boss in goodfellas uh they left him off paulie guletieri yeah uh no his name's paul servino that's actually his name and then they left off paulie walnuts yes which is bullshit that Absolute bullshit.
And Tom Sizemore.

Hollywood phonies.

They left off Tom Sizemore.

Yeah.

And also Top Gun didn't win Best Picture.

Bullshit.

Well, the whale did.

No, the whale didn't.

Everything everywhere all at once.

That's our Oscars recap.

Yep.

Hope everyone enjoyed it.

Nobody got slapped.

That was bullshit.

Yeah.

That was bullshit.

Speaking, and then my other cool throw.

Back to whales.

Was, well, shout out whales. A lot of them are dying and washing up on New Jersey.
We've got to figure that out, Billy. Are they really? You've got her best man on it.
Sonars. Oh, sonars.
Yeah, that's actually true. Greta's kind of killing them.
What if they're just too fat? No, it's what Billy's saying. Sonars? Greta, low-key.
Really? Oh, no, it's windmills. It's windmills.
Windmills. Windmills.
How are windmills killing whales? Sent off sonar. Yeah, they fuck with the sound.
Yeah, it fucks them up. They just go insane and they wash the shore? Yeah, it's like if the whales put in some type of machinery that just fucked with our ears 24-7.
It's like, they're doing this. No, that's the sonar for whales.
It's rubbing yeah also shout out orcas marketing team because I've been doing a lot of a lot of orca videos recently orcas are fucked up animals dude yeah what explain I've been doing they've been mainlining orca orca video people say that orcas have never killed a person in the wild that's because they've gotten away with all the times they've done it. That's my theory.
Orcas are metal as shit. It's a perfect crime.
Yeah, the person dies in the ocean from an orca and no one's there to see it. Exactly.
They get away with it. Yeah.
They kill everyone who saw it. They deserved it.
We haven't had a good story about a person getting swallowed by a whale in a while and then getting spit back up. No, dude.
We should bring that back. There was actually like a year ago, a kayaker got swallowed by a whale getting krill.
There's a video, and then they got spat out. Holy shit.
Actually, look it up. That rocks.
That is awesome. So whales.
Yeah, my other cool throne is Blake Griffin. Wow.
Have you guys seen the, they're coming out with a show, but the Donald Sterling situation? Oh. And they cast, they know actors for blake doc riffer doc rivers chris paul like the whole crew it's a funny it's a you haven't seen the cast pictures no i'll sign them it's funny but i'm excited to see the show i would like to get blake on and hear i don't know if it's one of those things where you know the people that are involved are like this is a bullshit representation this isn't even what happened kind of like the the showtime lakers uh show where they all had issues with it or if it's something that blake might be in cahoots with um type deal so who's playing blake it's i don't know who the actor is do they have donald sterling saying matt what is matt big magic johnson what has he ever done he got aids it's got to start the show i would assume also the.
Yeah, they need to do that. I just pulled it up.
I'm going to read it real quick. This is from Donald Sterling.
Will I fool around sometimes? I do. When a girl seduces me and tells me all these hot stories and dirty things and tells me how much she wants to suck on me and takes my shoes off and licks my feet and touches me.
When I'm in a limousine, she takes all of her clothes. The lim limo driver said what is going on and and she started sucking me on the way to mr coon's house and i thank her i thank her for making me feel good question or the other person sir the question was is this your handwriting true i would have john voight play donald sterling that would be good yeah but they They gave they gave Blake's actor red hair, too.
Like, really red, you know. They should have just had Taylor do it.
That would have been cool. His brother was his...
All right, let me see the picture. These are the actors.
Okay. Blake Griffin.
Where is he? JJ's... Oh, but he doesn't look anything like him no this is Blake got done dirty oh the guy's kind of attractive do you think Chris Paul they should have Cliff Paul do it that would have been sick oh no it's uh Al Bundy is Donald Sterling that's a good casting call that is good yeah I like that yeah Ed O'Neill yeah okay good hot seat cool throw on Hank thanks i won't ever do the paper thing again thanks great job hank what's yours uh my hot seat is going to be my my golf game oh my golf game's in trouble i haven't been able to practice in like a week and a half and if you're a real dimple head like me you know that that it just takes the wind out of your sails entirely speaking of orcas i'm like the orca that's in captivity with a fin that's bent over because i can't get out and practice because i got a nasty blister last time hank and i went after last sunday's show and just drilled balls for like an hour full hour getting swings in tore up my hand so bad that i haven't been able to use my hand for anything like i've had a gnarly blister which is good for my masturbation strike but um it sucks it sucks not being able to get out there and and hit the links with the fellas thoughts and i can't wait to get back into the game thoughts but how do you how do you golf and not get blisters i was thinking about becoming the first golfer to be like teddy two gloves yeah two gloves no the guy who hit the hole in one oh yeah on tour who wears two gloves that's right yeah so maybe i'll just have to be a two glove golfer from now on i don't know just have your favorite golfer pee on your hands.
What wears two gloves. That's right.
Yeah. So maybe I'll just have to be a two-glove golfer from now on.
I don't know. Just have him be your favorite golfer.
Pee on your hands. What's his name? That's right.
Moises Alou. It's like a-ha or something.
Moises Alou was like, yeah, I piss on my hands every day in the shower. That's why I don't wear batting gloves.
But I think that he just got caught peeing on his hands one time. Tommy Two Gloves Ganey.
There we go. That's his name? No, that's not the guy we're talking about.
By the way, that's just a prelude to Jake having maybe the toughest moment he's ever had in the Stanford Steve interview. Yeah.
You missed it, Hank. It was real bad.
It was real bad. I'm just fortunate you guys are letting me stay on the show.
Yeah. Tommy Ganey does wear two gloves, so you're right on that, but the guy who hit the hole-in-one, I don't know.
There's a guy who's currently, and he hit a hole-in-one on 17 at TPC, and it was electric. And then everyone's like, whoa, does that guy wear two gloves? Aaron Rye.
Aaron Rye. Here we go.
So you just got to be an Aaron Rye guy. I got to be the Aaron Rye guy, yeah.
He has iron covers. Yeah.
Okay, your cool throne? My cool throne is Great Britain and USA. Great Britain beat Columbia in the World Baseball Classic.
Huge upset. I don't even think that anybody from Great Britain on the team is actually English.
I think they're all guys that are in the minor leagues that have some sort of grandfather from Great Britain. But they beat Columbia.
That's good for Great Britain. It's also good for Team USA to advance by beating Columbia.
So Team USA might still be in it. It's hard for me to get in the World Baseball Classic.
Yeah. Did you find out about the bases? The bases, I don't think they're as big, so that's why I'm not interested.
Damn. Those bases need to be 50% bigger, and then I'll be like, yes, I am officially watching.
Yeah. But I'm not going to watch, but when I see the graphics on on screen if i see the american flag beating another flag correct then i'll be like fuck yeah go usa it's i had that same thought last night uh when mike trout hit that dinger yeah also not not cool that everyone's like oh mike is the closest mike trout will be to the playoffs that was mean he's just out there fucking repping our country hitting mashing just bombs but yeah i had the same thought where i was like if usa gets in the finals i'm in a hundred percent yeah and then i'm gonna see the lineup that we're going up against and probably the dominican republic and be like yeah well we're done yeah we're toast but it's fun to have a world cup of baseball just on the background right they don't actually have to listen to but you can get invested in just to be like we still got it we're still the usa it's a win-win either us doesn't win and i just never recognize that this happened or they do win and i put on american flag shirt and watch the final game and then i act like i was behind usa the entire time yeah my other cool throne is pup punk because it just got announced today we're playing at the ocean's calling music festival if there's no hurricane oh nice So it's September 29th through October 1st.
It looks like we're opening. I'm looking at this for the very first time.
I just got it. We're opening up for John Mayer.
Oh, hell yes. That's pretty cool.
We got John Mayer, Incubus, Sheryl Crow, Bonk, Dispatch, Jimmy World, Matt and Kim. We're opening up for those guys.
Incubus. What was that bunk for? How many in between you and John Mayer? We are the smallest font possible.
But you're opening for John Mayer. They created a font so small for Pup Punk that it's never existed before, and only ants can read it.
But we are opening up for John Mayer. They're going to shuffle you off before John Mayer even shows up.
Oh, for sure. They're probably not even going to put our name up on whatever official load-in paperwork.
Yeah, you'd be like Spinal Tap. You're going to have a green room and a janitor's closet.
And then the Lumineers are playing on Sunday. Oh, hell yes.
And Weezer. So we're opening up for Weezer and the Lumineers, too.
Nice. And the Wallflowers.
I love the Lumineers. Lumineers are a fall band.
For sure. When the leaves turn, you pop open the Lumineers and just rejoice in it.

So I guess a secondary hot seat for this is going to be Frankie,

because Frankie is going to be overseas at the Ryder Cup.

Oh.

He's going to be off-site for this, so we need to find a new drummer for it.

I'll do it.

You'll do it?

I was actually going to.

Imagine if I did it and just didn't practice.

Like, all right, guys.

This is the only time where it might be realistic to get Travis Barker involved. Travis, you play for every other band.
Definitely realistic. Yeah, come play for Pop Punk.
Come on, Travis. Just be like, hey, dude, do you want to open for John Mayer? Yeah, he probably will.
Yeah. All right, official invitation extended.
If Big Cat can't make it, then Travis Barker will be our drummer. It sucks you're not playing on Sunday, though, because then you could say, kind of stretch the truth, John Mayer's opening for you.
Well, let's see. Who's opening for us on Friday? Because it's a three-day.
Jack Johnson is opening for us. Yeah.
Alanis Morissette opening for us. Third Eye Blind.
Oh, I mean, I'm a huge Third Eye Blind. Yeah.
So they're- Top 10 album. They're lucky enough to be opening for Pup Punk at Ocean's Calling Music Festival.
Again, that's September 29th through October 1st in Ocean City, Maryland. Shout out Secrets.
One of the best bars in America. I love it.
All right. My hot seat is me for incorrectly tagging Stephen A.
Smith as a strip club guy. He came out on the record.
He said he's not a strip club guy. Doesn't like the smell.
Doesn't like the smell. He said he used to go when he was a younger man, but not for anymore does not like the smell there's a very distinct smell there is in strip clubs but it was just actually you know what i'm taking myself off the hot seat because if you have to come out and say you're not a strip club guy you are a strip club guy that's true he's just going to the strip clubs we don't know about he's he goes to strip clubs but he doesn't love them yeah he plugs his nose yeah he wears yeah he puts vick's vapor rub inside his nostrils when he goes to a strip club and uh i hand up i was wrong i was wrong the uh strip club shotgun willies they did provide they like reached out to the new york to provide all those quotes they were trying to say john they were trying to stake up for john morant they're probably going to lose some top tier clientele they were thinking to themselves get free advertising and more people will come in, but you would probably rather have one John Morant than have 500 people who aren't John Morant.
Yeah, like if you're a celebrity or someone who's trying to go to the strip club and remain anonymous, Shotgun Willys is not the place for you anymore. Definitely not.
They'll just fucking air your dirty laundry. I still love that picture for John Morant.
Oh, yeah. If you're going to get caught on on camera in a strip club the best way to do it is to be getting a lap dance while the entire room is covered yes in money yeah that's a cool look um and then my cool throne is max uh max is immortalized on a coffee mug so we're doing mug mania you can buy limited edition only four days we have sad max on a coffee mug at cell blue coffee.com that just says before coffee he's that picture it's maybe one of my favorite pictures that will follow you around yeah that will be i mean it is truly we all have them you just got to embrace the fact that you are now part of the club of bad pictures of sad pictures.
But yeah, that picture,

God damn it, do I love it.

Every time I look at it, I chuckle.

I'm buying one. I'm buying a mug.

Yesterday, I did my laundry from the Super Bowl

last week, folded it last night.

Wait, what?

That was correct.

Do you have a laundry machine?

It's March? Is it March?

Yes. You have a laundry machine and it took you that long?

No.

Well, I did my laundry.

We've been traveling.

Yeah.

Okay.

Indy.

Yeah.

There's been a lot of travel.

Yeah.

In the middle of the week.

Yeah.

There's been a lot of travel, Max.

I agree.

I was looking around my living room the other day.

I have currently three suitcases in my living room.

I do that, too.

With clothes that I wore. Actually, the Super Bowl suitcase I just unpacked.
Yes. So I did that laundry last Monday.
I just threw all my clothes out. You know what my move is? If I have two trips close together, I'll come home with the suitcase, and I'll leave it in the corner of my apartment,

and then when I'm ready to go on the next trip,

I'll just throw the entire suitcase in the laundry and then put it right back in.

Yeah, you're set.

That's your go bag.

It's like I've already packed.

Yeah, that's basically what I did.

But I was going through my Super Bowl laundry and pulling out that shirt

and the sweatpants was like, I don't see a situation where I can ever wear them again. You got sweatpants.
Eagles back in the Super Bowl. You have to.
That would be the last time to wear it. Redemption.
Redemption. Yeah, can you imagine that? Unfinished business.
If I flipped the script, that would have... Yes.
Your sweatpants are the Brendan Fraser of clothes. Yeah.
I feel like you're putting too much blame on the sweatpants and not enough on your I mean that's a personal action haircut that's all at any oh okay okay I want to see those sweatpants in rotation they make me laugh every time they're very funny please I'm asking you by the way I we skipped over it when you said Blake Griffin Hank uh panic buttoned out at all because speaking of whales why didn't we talk about your whale play yeah Hank had whale play The Celtics minus 13. Damon Stoudemire, all-time glue guy.
He got a new job, I think, with Georgia Tech, and he was like, I'm going to come to the Hawks game because I want one more night with the boys. He could have obviously just not continued to coach.
So I was like, wow, this is inspiring. The Celtics are going to play their ass off for their coach for one last time.
Whale play. This is and a half point favorites it's the rockets I did a whale play and then they were down a lot uh in third quarter they didn't play well so I live at them when they were plus money and then uh they lost I've been grinding PGA tour uh 2k 23 pft if you want to get some reps offline yep when you can't play on the course and I was streaming with Rudy I had a it was maybe the worst 4 seconds of my you could ever predict or imagine and it's hard to really explain into words had a putt to win a hole was online the whole way literally went around the cup, missed I was frustrated I look up as Jason Tatum is driving to the hole to miss a layup to tie the game.
And I legitimately threw my headset and walked. Well, I wasn't on video.
It was Rudy's stream, so you can just hear me. But it was – I rage quit.
I was like I've never – I haven't felt like that since I was a 10-year-old, I think. Are you worried, though, about the Celtics? Because it feels like they're very good.
Something might be a little off. I think the something is Tatum.
I think he's just not playing his A game right now. I think if he finds it, I mean, it's not a hot take to say, like, you need Jason Tatum to be on his A game to win a championship.
Correct. So I think that's what they have to figure out.
And he's just not, you know, he's scoring a lot, but he's missing a lot of shots. He's got to figure it out, and that's what we need to figure out to win.
How are we feeling about Marcus Smart right now? Because it seems like he's back in his old bag where he's just, like, throwing guys to the ground, being a hothead. Yeah, I mean, that's Marcus Smart with him.
You live and die with him i love marcus smart i'll ride him he is a true wheels fall off he is a true like yeah you can't you can't you can't nitpick the bad yeah because it's then you just be mad but that's all everyone does yeah not me but sometimes marcus smart does that because he's frustrated and sometimes he does it because he's so amped up about how things are going. He makes some wild plays, some wild decision-making, and you've got to live and die with it.
But it is always fun when you have a player on your team that is very divisive in the fan base, and you're just getting arguments like, we're all on the same team here, but there's Marcus Smart people, there's not Marcus Smart people, and I feel like you just argue for it. There's intangibles.
I would argue on the side of intangibles where it's like, yeah, he makes bonehead decisions, but he's also obviously a team leader, and he sets the tone on defense. There's a lot of things that you don't see that you get with Marcus Smart that benefits the team versus the things like obviously the turnovers and the bad shot selection sometimes.
But it's the the good and the bad and I'll take the good all day uh also I think he criticized refereeing a few days ago and then I think he got like ejected and a technical like the two games after he yeah he did he got fined which brings his fine total and screw up to five hundred twenty thousand dollars that's awesome so that again that's where it's like it's not it's not yeah, it's not like it's not like this is new with him. This is just how he is and how he always has been.
Cost of doing business. Yeah.
Yeah, he should aspire to be a million dollar fine guy. We were 2-0, like the Grant Williams I'm going to make both, and then he missed, and then lost.
He hadn't played. Blake had been playing his minutes.
They were 2-0, so before that. Alright, so Blake Griffin's the key.
Billy, your hot seat, cool throw. First hot seat is Trey Wingo.
Depending on what happens in the rest of the day, this may be irrelevant, but Trey Wingo reported Aaron Rodgers going to the Jets, and he might have, you know, blown it too early. That's a sin.
And I'm blaming him. Yeah, fuck him.
Send anyone that does that to the gulag. I'm sending cocaine bear into your backyard.
Oh, yeah. I still don't forgive him for the bear tweet when he said, this bear is in my backyard, and it was the same picture of a bear that he had used seven years ago.
He's the boy who cried bear. Yeah, he cried bear.
He cried bear. Billy just took that line from me.
That's why I told Billy yesterday. Yeah.
It was funny, though, seeing Dove Kleinman aggregate Trey Wingo and reported his fact, and then you saw garrett wilson on the jets he was on vacation he's like now i can enjoy my vacation uh you should see the smile on me now and then everyone was like dude nothing has happened yet and garrett wilson said i ain't gonna fake it i thought dove bro tweet was the news break i was waiting for shaking my head i don't know anything sorry about that dove that's what that's what that's what dove does the Dove bro tweet was the news break I was waiting for, shaking my head. I don't know anything.
Sorry about that.

Dove bro. That's what Dove does.
The Dove bro tweet. And Dove had to be like, I aggregate the news.
Sorry. This is not breaking.
I'm taking other people's breaking news. It would make sense that Rodgers would give the scoop to noted pothead Trey Wingo, though.
Yeah. They probably enjoyed blazing it up a little bit together.
True. Leroy reported it also.
However, Leroy received word from a direct source close to Aaron Rodgers that he decided to play for the Jets. So we're standing by Leroy's report.
But is there a statute of limitations in ours? Because I feel like both Wingo, like if he signs, well, I guess we shouldn't have even done this because it probably signed and we probably started the show with this. Yeah.
So Leroy's very careful in how he words his tweets and how he words his breaking news. He says Aaron Rodgers has decided to play for the New York Jets.
Got it. So Aaron has picked the Jets over retirement.
There still need to be some T's crossed, some I's dotted between the two teams on compensation. Got it.
And in case he does get signed and we delete that, my other hot seat is Leonardo DiCaprio's character in Catch Me If You Can, Frank Abid Naley. Yeah.
I don't know if I pronounced that right. Turns out he lied about lying.
Yeah. He might have not lied as much as he said he lied.
He's the greatest. He's the goat liar.
Wait. This isn't news, though.
I just saw recently. Okay.
Got it. That they did an investigation.
TikTok? Yeah. Okay.
I was going to say, because I remember when the movie came out and people were like, no, he didn't do all these things. Yeah.
And he was like, well, I didn't do all of them. The con man is being honest this time.
Yeah. You can trust him.
That is good that you got the news on TikTok. Yeah.
That movie's up there with Shawshank. It is.
I re-watched it. I'll watch it.
It's good enough to watch with commercials on TV. Yes.
I re-watched it a few weeks ago, and I was like, yeah, this movie was fucking good. It came on Netflix.
Yeah. And then I watched it for the first time.
You know what's crazy to think about? Inspiring. Yeah.
Inspiring. You can lie your way to the top.
No, the internet ruined that. They're going to make one about George Santos.
Oh, I hope so. Yeah.
That guy's awesome. Yeah.
You know that George Santos right now is scamming the shit out of other Congress people. Oh, yeah.
He inspires me to get into politics. If he can do it, then I haven't done half this shit.
No, honestly, there is a world where we have President Lockwood and Vice President Football in about 30 years. My favorite George, besides George Santos saying he said that he was Jewish, and then when someone called him on it, he was like, no, I said I was Jewish.
That was an all time line, like the best line ever. But my other one that I loved, he he said, yeah, he said, no, I was Jewish.
He also said that he was like a incredible volleyball player at Baruch College, noted alum Glennie Balls. It's just so funny to be like like here's the the lie and my lie in my like fantasy i was just really good at volleyball yeah and why wouldn't you just be a sick football player well he also tripled down on the volleyball thing and he said that he tore his acl yeah played through it that's how tough he was playing volleyball yeah he really is an inspiration yeah he he also has like he basically had so many lies that like he actually couldn't be born he was like my grandmother died in the holocaust my mom died and i was like wait then how are you here yeah like that makes no sense who just perseveres yeah through and through and my cool thrones bitcoin low-key back oh okay lightweight back is it ripping i mean i checked it all this bank stuff made me like let me check all my assets which was like a couple of weird coins in my crypto wallets from like the nft boom stuff and i was like oh shit it's not like nothing like a week ago so that means that the uh the three board apes that we get per episode yeah we just essentially got a raise we're booming i did see the clip billy of you on the on the finance podcast talking about what you did with your Ruff and Rowdy winnings, and it made me laugh.

Yeah.

Billy was like – you want to say?

It was just like Billy was like, yeah, I took all my Ruff and Rowdy winnings and put them in like – what were they called?

Roth IRA.

No, what was the –

Oh, ARC funds.

ARC funds.

I basically put all my money in the stock market when it was all way overvalued, and yeah, not a good move.

But you live and you learn.

Yeah, Ruff and Rowdy just takes down everyone who doesn't here because Jerry had the same thing where he went –

Thank you. way overvalued and yeah, not a good move.
But you live and you learn. Yeah, Ruffin already just takes down everyone who does it here because Jerry

had the same thing where he went

competed in Ruffin already

won and then didn't

realize that he had to pay taxes on it either.

So it's a tough one.

Yeah, like free money. They don't tax

money for fighting. Hank, did

you come back from that financially?

Yeah, I got 10k cash. I just went on vacation.
Naturally. Would have been a better investment.
So did you pay taxes on that? Yeah. Totally.
Obviously. You know I don't fuck around with taxes.
No, you don't. It's coming up now.
Soon. I know.
I got a guy. Fuck yeah.
Who is it? If you had to run for president, would you run left or right?

What's Bernie?

Way left.

Very left.

Wrong.

All right.

Bernie bro?

Wrong about everything.

Yeah.

Okay.

Hank Leftwood.

Me and AOC.

Jake.

My hot seat is being negative.

Can you go green?

That's a thing, right? Yeah, you can be green party Marianne Williamson You are going to like it when you dig into green party But yeah go for it I think Hank's going to end up actually eating us one day Well I was just thinking like what's red plus blue combined Purple Oh I thought it was green Alright I'm purple party Purple purple party. Purple.
Purple. Purple.
Lean into it. All right, Jake.
My hot seat's being negative. Yes.
This story's crazy. Yeah.
And you should be ashamed. I am ashamed.
Okay. Very bad luck.
All right, so explain it. For who? Explain it.
What do you mean? I was right, Billy. Explain it.
ESPN Syracuse affiliate, they fired a local radio host, Brent Axe, also a professor at syracuse university they said he was too negative now who owns this radio station so ed levine who was a close friend of jim boeheim oh i believe they're bringing him on who jim boeheim part time for some appearances so does jim boeheim he's an investor in this company so coach boeheim and i are personal friends and he's an investor in my company? So Coach Boeheim and I are personal friends, and he's an investor in my company. Oh, no.
Earlier he said, I had a problem with the content of the show. I'm an SU fan.
I'm sorry, but I bleed orange. I'm not going to apologize for that.
And I think a fair reading of the orange is appropriate. This guy has to be the worst sports radio executive of all time.
Sports radio exists to be negative. Yeah.
Like, being like, yeah, yeah good thing we missed the tournament like the boys are looking good next year who wants to listen to that i'm the most positive person out there there's a reason i don't like it was a bullshit firing yes okay wow i'm like the reason i don't do sports talk and i like play-by-play play-by-play you just call as you see it yeah i don't big opinions. Obviously, that's why I never wanted to go to Talk Avenue.
So that's the point of this is having opinions. It's crazy.
Crazy. Threw him under the bus.
Threw him under Jim Boeheim's SUV. You guys want him on the show.
I don't know. Well, I don't know.
He might get inspired. You don't get inspired.
I'm kidding. Also, when you say didn't go to Talk Avenue were you gonna talk that one out yeah jim jim rome was an avenue for a while you what show are you on i didn't go the talk how many times do i provide opinions here no no but they're asking like what like did you you never even attempted to talk i mean like you at a young age you're like i don't like i don't I don't have an opinion.
Yeah, I tried out at the student radio station. I tried having a talk show, and I was like, this isn't for me.
It would be great, though. I would like to hear those tapes.
It would be great. You're just reading the scores.
Yeah, it's like, yeah. Here's what happened.
No, this was bullshit. This is absolute bullshit.
Yeah. Brent Axe.
Although his name's kind of a foreshadow, right? Yeah, that's what people said. Is Jim Boeheim being on Sports Talk Radio going to be good at all? No.
I feel like he's not going to be good at it. It would actually be great, though, because Jim Boeheim.
I don't get why people, like, just chill out. Yeah.
Just go chill. Yeah, you don't.
It's over. You can't control this anymore.
You controlled it for 47 years. Move to Florida.
Let everyone else have a chance. Agreed.
Yeah. Not great.
There are a ton of alums being like, what's going on here? They're going to reinstate this guy, but. Are you in like an alumni Facebook group or something? Just what I've seen on Twitter.
Okay. My cool throne is Puerto Rico.
Talked about the World Baseball Classic. They threw a perfect game against Israel, 10-0, or did they? The debate comes back.
How many pitchers? It was a mercy rule in eight innings. Oh, does not count.
Was it one pitcher? 24. No, four pitchers.
Four pitchers. Max, is that a no-hitter? Perfect game.
Perfect game. No.
See, no, I was actually thinking about this. There are so many no-hitters, fake-ass no-hitters now.
No, I think it's actually, history is going to look well on me. I don't know the saying.
But in college baseball, it's every single day. I see something else for a combined no-hitter.
Because it's so much easier to get a combined no-itter. That's fake.
You're saying the words no-hitter, though.

I have a simple question.

Game four of the World Series this year, how many hits did the Phillies get? I get it.

Wait, no.

Just answer the question.

Just answer the question.

How many hits did they get?

They had zero.

It can be a zero.

I'm fine with saying a zero-hitter.

No-hits.

There's a difference.

It's not as—

A zero-hitter.

A zero-hitter.

We got zero hit.

Okay.

It doesn't feel the same, and you know it doesn't feel the same. I agree with that, but you got no hit.
I get it. I get it.
But it doesn't mean the same. Do you get it? I think you don't.
It's not real. Max, I want you to do a thought experiment.
Close your eyes. I get it.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Close your eyes.
Just indulge me. Close your eyes i get it no no no no no no no no close your eyes just indulge me close your eyes imagine it's game for the world series the phillies go out there and they throw a combined no hitter against the astros is that a no hitter i yeah like okay no no but i still but i still and we rest i would like be excited because you won the game and you had a dominant and you had a dominant performance from your starting pitcher, but I would not feel the same way as if like Doc Halliday went up against the regs and shoved down their dick for nine innings.
Like that's just a different feeling. All right.
Follow up question in the gambling cave that happens happens are you standing up being like fuck yes no hitter in your fucking face astros we no hit you said uh like in the moment yeah okay all right but no but you're not but it's still not the same it's still not the same how many hits zero zero hits the same as zero hits zero Zero hits is not the same as no hits. If you have zero hits, did you get a hit that game? Negative.
When someone asks you how many hits, they say zero hits. No hits.
Max, you can win a game by getting no hit. I get that.
Did you get a hit? No. Oh! The- Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,, about the armpits.
Thank you. I made a mistake by thinking about stink in the equation.
Now that I've removed stink. I kept an open mind.
I was swayed. It's funny because like the comment section for all the social media posts about that, half of them were like, I have no idea what Hank was saying.
And the other half were like, Hank is 100% right about this. And then a lot of people being like, this is the dumbest debate you guys ever had.
It's like, hey, buddy. Wait till we start talking no hitter on Tuesday.
Not only that, but you missed the fucking free throw dunk debate. Because that one was the low point.
Brack we're doing now. It's terrible.
It's terrible. All right.
Jake, is that it? That's it. All right.
Let's get to our interviews. We've got Stanford Steve talking brackets.
He gives some great tips. He also gives some picks for the first round of action.
And then we have Snooki. It is brought to you by our friends friends at just for men one day beard and brow color is the first temporary brush in wash out color from just for men the beard color experts it's a breakthrough dye free formula easily and instantly eliminates gray with natural looking temporary color fills in the thin patchy areas and defines your beard for a thicker fuller look pft you should try some i have some i have some grays it gives you that nice little like you you your beard just looks strong i need that very strong i saw the commercial when i was watching the youtube episode great job it's it it looks my beard looks incredible when i put it in and the easy part is it washes out when you take a shower you can reapply it for those big you know you got a date you got to be on camera whatever it may be just for men one day beard and brow is there for you now any guy can easily transform their look anytime you want your beard to look its best interviews dates bars meetings parties weddings events podium moments profile photos or your big podcast isn't just for your ears anymore subscribe on our youtube just brush in let's set and you're good to go try new one day beard and brow from just for men i love just for men been using it for my hair as well one day beard and brow just for men is a absolute game changer for everyone out there with maybe a little splotchy beard or your grazer coming in like me uh we're also brought to you by friends at barstool bites pardon Cheese Steak, delivery and pickup only restaurant, bringing you craveable cheesesteaks and loaded fries.
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Okay, here he is, Stanford Steve.

Okay, we now welcome on one of our favorite guests.

Talking brackets, it is the man, Stanford Steve.

There's no better time than right now, Steve.

We're actually taping this on Monday afternoon.

These are the longest three and a half days in the calendar year when we're waiting for the games to tip uh welcome i'm excited thank you for having me this is why it's not the best week of the year because of this time yes right now we we need something to get in our veins we don't have it i'm staring at the bracket and it's it's staring right back at me in the face I said, come on, come get me. So it's that time.
I'm staring at the bracket and it's staring right back at me in the face. Come on, come get me.
So it's that time I started to try to do the 32nd bracket where you just see it and you fill it out. And I ended up having Memphis and Michigan State with a chance to go to the final four.
And I said, pump the brakes. Stop it.
Put it down. You got to assess some things.
So that's what I did. I saw that tweet from you you said that you at that point you realized that you had to take a couple days away to just kind of give yourself some distance at that point let things marry because you get excited you get caught up in the madness at the start so cooler heads prevail you have the perfect bracket right now right I believe I do yeah it's I got the one with the times and sites too, which is information that I think you should look at that I'm sure we could get to.
Cause there's a couple of things that stick out in my mind as far as filling out your bracket. And that's why, you know, jumping the gun and filling out as fast as possible is not a thing I tend to do.
Okay. So two things off that one is I know Steve, you and I, we had this debate last week, Conference Championship Week.
That Thursday, Friday, Saturday is the best. It is the best, you're right, because you don't have to wait.
Two, the times, that was when it finally set in that the Badgers didn't make it because that was the favorite thing. Everyone knows this.
If your team's in the tournament most years, there's nothing better than Sunday night getting the times and being like I'm gonna build my Thursday Friday around this like oh okay we play six o'clock on Friday like I gotta I gotta get myself in a mental spot to survive till then that like scheduling is part of sports fandom that is so much fun being like all right we're gonna go to this bar everything so. So you tell us, looking at the times and where they're being played, what jumps out to you? Well, here's the deal.
Everybody makes a big deal. And this is why I like to let it marinate, as you say.
And everybody last night's going crazy because Houston got a better seed or a higher one seed than Kansas, right? And then you look at what happens now. Kansas, yes.
Ken Palm, I think it's six of the top 20 teams are in the West with Kansas, and the West final is in Las Vegas. And Kansas City, Kansas people are mad that they're not playing Kansas City.
And I don't know if you guys have been to the Kansas City airport. It is the worst airport in the country.

Ever.

And they just got a new one. So I don't know if they're just super excited to see the new Kansas City airport.
But, like, what fan base doesn't want to go to Vegas rather than Kansas City? Right. That confuses me.
And then when you look deeper into the bracket, Houston is the one in the Midwest. They are playing in in birmingham if auburn beats iowa they are playing auburn in birmingham alabama that's not going to be fun for a one seat no so when i when i look at that and i assess that now i'm like all right i think i think kansas got the good draw as opposed to houston uh when you look at where you could possibly could go i mean who doesn't i'm going going to Vegas for the Sweet 16.
Yeah. Have you ever done the thing where you go to Vegas for the first, like, four days of the tournament? Is that fun, or do you think it's just too crowded to have fun? It was fun, and now it's too crowded because I don't, you know, you guys get your questions asked when people see you.
All it is is who do you like and how do I bet it? And it's like, but I'm not going to the window and betting for you, okay? Like I'm trying to sit here and enjoy myself with some friends, got a nice setup, and you're just constantly peppered with people that are betting for the first time. So it's kind of turned into amateur hour.
And that's why I'm putting off a week and going out for the lead date because there will be veteran hardcores there that are more enjoyable to watch games with. Because, you know, that's the essence, watching games together.
You guys do a great job in the cave. But I know if I pulled you guys and you said, all right, we get to pick three people that can't be in the cave,

you guys would write off three names in a second to not have to watch games with those three people.

Right.

Yeah, it's Frank, it's Rico.

I'm not going to bring up any names.

Oh, okay.

For the record, nobody tweets screenshots of their bets

in the Barstool Sportsbook at Stanford Steve and be like,

Steve, what does the over mean on this bet?

Don't do that.

No one do that.

You'll be suspended if you do that. Also, don't tweet out my lock of the day is Virginia.
Yeah. They can't fucking score, Steve.
I knew what you were doing. Oh, believe me.
I knew what you were doing. Steve likes to fuck with people.
Letting people still go, and that's why it's fun. Yeah, when Steve tweets out his lock of the day, he's usually betting the opposite.
He's just getting people riled up. All right, Steve, I know that you have always a list of teams that can win the national title according to Stanford Steve's Advanced Analytics.
So how many are you on the list right now now that we have the bracket? I have not eliminated anybody. There was 20.
We eliminated three teams last week, okay? It was Providence, it was Tennessee, and it was St. Mary's.
Now, all those teams are pretty high seed except Providence, who has been as bad as any team in the country. Now they're 11.
They've got to play Kentucky. They're already off the list.
But when I go down and look at teams to win the title that I would say, I think I have to cross off Virginia. I just can't.
I can't. What they look like Saturday night against Duke, who is a team I'm sure we'll talk about.
But I just look at the ACC, and it's not what a normal ACC is. And that's why I'm not buying into this Duke nonsense of everybody picking them to go to the Final Four.
I did Billis' show. He has them in the final game against UConn.
But they won a conference tournament in a conference that's not good. And this is what I'm talking about with the recency bias.
Everybody just sees that and they're like, all right, they're hot. They've won nine in a row.
Give me them. That's the opposite.
I don't go with that. I go against that.
I try and predict who people are going to jump on it. And I think Duke is a perfect example.
I have them losing to Oral Roberts in the first round. And the other team, you know, that feels like that is Marquette to me.
Seeing them in the garden, I got to see Jake. We can talk about Jake's's performance at the garden i was not um i i didn't give jake a high grade whoa did he not respect mecca what happened um i believe he left two sessions early oh no i went to another conference tournament oh he went to the 810 that's oh that's allowed that's allowed.
That was the next day.

I literally went to UConn Marquette semifinals and brought my luggage to the garden and then went straight to Penn Station and to the airport.

Oh, okay.

Is that allowed?

No, you left early.

Okay.

That's not allowed.

What about the day before?

What about the day before?

I was there.

And when did you leave?

And then I came back to record part of my take, and then I went back to the Villanova-Payton game. Oh, no.
He did leave twice. Twice in two days.
That's nice. Yeah, to record part of my take.
He left twice both days. That's not a good grade for me.
Just a fact. If I'm going to grade participation, that's not good.
With no context, that is a fact. Well, I get an F- because I didn't even show up.
Yeah, we're not even going to go there with you. Well, I mean, I just – At least PFT wasn't even the office.
Well, I'm just saying I'll stand by the fact that I would rather watch all the games than one game in person. That's why you get it.
Who knows who likes ball more? There's technology. Jake, we had every game up.
Media credentials clutch because it gets back to Wi-Fi. Well, I don't have media.
They banned us from the Mecca. They banned Barstool Sports.
So, listen, we're the bad boys. They wouldn't allow it.
They can't. Steve, off the Duke thing, I like where your head's at.
Give me a quick rankings of your power conferences in terms of which conferences you trust to, like, the ACC at the bottom. ACC is definitely at the bottom.
I don't see anyone making the Sweet 16 from the ACC. I'd have to go – oh, man.
Look at your Big Ten, Big Cat. Yeah.
Like, they're represented in every 8 or 9 and 7 and 10 game except two. So, I can't – it's Big 12 for sure, and I guess the Big East.
And then the Big 10. Maybe Pac-12.
I actually think the Pac-12 is a little slept on. Even though they only have three teams.
Three. Yeah, it's basically two, though.
And I know you guys were all in. I know you guys have a lot of futures on UCLA.
Brutal news with the injury. I still think they could do.
They need Bona, though, the big man, to make a run. But they got a tough draw to get out of this and get to the Sweet 16.
So the Pac-12, I think, has two as strong. I mean, they have two teams that could go to the Final Four.
The Big 12 has more than that. The Big East, possibly.
The SEC, I don't see having much success i do have bama uh rolling uh through so um i'd go big 12 big east pack 12 okay that would be it okay that's good are you counting usc in the in the big are you counting them in the pack well well that's what's Great. got Michigan State-USC, future Big Ten matchup in the first round.
I love the idea. You know, you get to see the colors against it, you know, to prepare yourself down the road.
So I'm counting that as a Pac-12 game. But, I mean, it's pretty crazy because USC is a team that nobody really likes to trust.
But Andy's been awesome NCAA tournaments man the guy is a cover machine I think they're a two point dog now to Sparty so that looks like a one point loss that they'll cover yes I actually now that I'm thinking about it UCLA winning the national title this year and then me retroactively counting as a Big Ten similar to Maryland that's probably's going to happen. We just get national titles before the teams come to the conference.
And what's even worse is on the girls' tournament, the last Big Ten winner was 1999. Oh, that's tough.
Iowa got underseeded. That was bullshit.
It should have been a one seed. I do like your spin zone of every game that USC plays.
It's going to be like

a Rose Bowl.

Yeah. That's awesome.

Who's the worst

team that you think can win it all? If you've got

20 teams that are capable of winning

it all. Let's go by seed

for that.

I have A&M

and they got the worst seed of any team,

I think. So I would guess

A&M. TCU's

a team that's scary to me. I think

Thank you. I have A&M, and they got the worst seed of any team, I think.
So I would guess A&M. TCU's a team that's scary to me.
I think TCU, Gonzaga winner, wins that region. So I'm going to say the lowest seed that has a chance to win the national championship is Texas A&M.
Okay. And you really think they have it? They have enough to win a national title? 20's a lot, Steve.
That's a lot. I know, but it's more about everybody else.
Look at the point spreads. There were years, I think it was Baylor-Gonzaga was two years ago.
I think Gonzaga was given like 34 in the first round. I know.
I don't think there's anything higher than 22 in the first round. So like right there, you see not the vulnerability of the one seeds, but you see a not highly as thought of one seeds when you factor in Vegas and power rankings and all that.
So I keep the word that keeps coming up is capability. I think all the other teams are just that capable now six games.
Yeah, that's a lot. But I look at teams that can play six games well.
You have to win two games where you don't play well. That's what you have to do to win this tournament.
And that's why I still factor in all those teams because of the essence of the idea of being when you play well, when the other team doesn't play well, like that coincidesides with things. I still have 20 on the list.

I can update it if you want.

It looks like 19 with Virginia with the draw they have.

So I will get you an updated number, I promise you.

Okay, 19's a lot. That's a ton of teams.

It's a ton of teams.

You have half the field.

You have half the field.

Who do you personally have futures on?

I have futures on UCLA. I had a future on North Carolina.
That's not going to get there. No, don't give up hope.
Don't give up hope. COVID, someone bounce out.
Next up. UCLA's won, and I believe I have TCU.
Okay. I have TCU right before the – and I will – and I have a future on UConn.
I do have UConn. The problem is UConn and TCU and UCLA, they're all in the same bracket.
I actually like that, though. Why? Because it's stupid, but I'm like, I should get at least one of these teams in the Final Four.

I agree.

Yeah, you know what happens then.

You're looking at Kansas on top,

and you're just staring at them the whole time as they advance.

Yeah, but it prolongs your enjoyment.

It means that you get to enjoy probably three rounds with a vested interest.

Yes, yes.

What other tips we got for people who are wagering?

Like, tried and true Stanford Steve,

this is what I've been doing with the tournament every single year uh don't be an idiot kind of tips yeah there's people out there that like fill out their bracket backwards i could never do that i will say you know if you like that double digit seed to go to the sweet 16 just pick the upset in the other game that's wishful thinking there. The other one is these play-in games with the 11s.

I think one of those teams has made the Sweet 16 of the last bunch of years since they started doing it. Yeah.
There's always been that. So, you know, it's always going to be the underachieving power five conference except for Nevada because I don't know how the hell they got in this tournament

the way they ended the season,

and they kept another Big Ten team out for Big Cat at Wisconsin or Rutgers.

Rutgers more than Michigan.

I thought they were in there almost.

Yeah, Rutgers probably should have gotten it.

That's okay.

But that will fire up Rutgers for football season.

That's what I think will happen.

Are we back?

Are we back this year?

Are you a Shiano believer? I believe so.

A lot of coaching changes.

You're good to go.

Let's go.

That's not going to happen.

Okay, give us your best picks.

Have you put any bets in so far?

I know you probably have.

Yes.

Okay.

Yes.

Duke to lose.

You could go oral money line. You could go oral plus the points, whatever you want to do there.
I like that. I do like Kansas State.
Montana State is a team. Scott and I were up late, late last week.
He ended up tweeting about it, and we were texting back and forth. I don't think much of Montana State's offense, and I just like what Kansas State brings to the table.
I think it's under double digits. So it's going to be not a pretty game, but I think Kansas State has more capability on the offensive side.
So I'd lay the points with Kansas State. The idea of Patino with UConn I think is dicey because this is the game for UConn

when you look at it.

This is a team, they don't have a true point guard.

When they've been good, they've looked like the best team in the country.

I think they were the last team undefeated, Jake.

Is that right?

I think so.

Oh, no, Jake.

Here we go.

Never mind.

I can get somebody to look it up on my end.

You might have missed that game.

Yeah. Yeah, he was probably catching a flight going from Penn Station to LaGuardia to Canada to go watch an American East game.
But anyway, but UConn, the idea of Indiana 76. What? Undefeated.
Oh, no, Jake. No, no, no, no, Jake.
What's this season, Jake? You're not even listening? Thanks. Come on, Jake.
Come on. We have to cut this part.
You're going to have to note-zap this, Jake. Yeah, we're going to have to note-zap this.
You're saying this season the last team to be undefeated was UConn. I don't know how we come back.
I believe it was Purdue. Was it Purdue? Because they couldn't pass them.
They couldn't get to number one because Purdue was ahead of them. Anyway.
I don't think Purdue lost until January against Rutgers. I would lean towards Iona plus the points.
I think UConn wins, but it's going to be tight. And the thing about UConn and seeing their fan base is so great.
Titus and I talked about it. He was asking me if they are the Duke of the Big East, and I think they are because of their arrogant.
What did Cooley call them? Spoiled and arrogant? I love that. I thought that was a perfect way to put it.
But UConn, this coaching staff hasn't won an NCAA tournament game. Like there's a lot of pressure on them.
And then what do they get? Iona and Albany. So that's a fascinating matchup.
I would take Iona plus the points. I have Texas going to the Final Four.
I wanted to actually pick up PFT's brain on some Texas war history because we could have Houston against Texas. And now everybody remembers the Alamo.
But what was it? Less than a month later was the San Jacinto War. Yeah.
That was like 18 minutes long, I think, Sam Houston came in and made it known for territory.

So this is actually what happened.

Sam Houston and his gang, they tried to take the Texas Constitution and all the archives from Austin.

They tried to steal them and take them back to Houston because that way Houston would be known as the capital of Texas.

And Sam Houston wanted that because they were then going to name the capital after him and it wasn't going to be in Central Texas. That's an interesting piece of history right there.
I think it was actually stopped because some old shopkeeper lady went out into the street and she had a cannon and she saw them trying to steal the papers. She lit the cannon on fire, almost blasted their heads off, and then they got caught by the police and had to give the papers back so that makes sense because i read the war was only 18 minutes long so that's probably the war that's probably exactly what happened it's an eternity for patino though so yeah with that that being the last big battle in the state of texas we could have houston against texas with the right to go to houston for the final Ooh, I like that story.
That's big Texas stuff. That is big time.
Everybody's just talked about Houston going to the final four. And now possibly you could get Texas in their way.
Who is the face of the state? Obviously Colgate is a team that could score. I'm not saying they're going to beat Texas, but I think that's a lot of points.
Utah State and Missouri, those two teams don't stop anybody. That could be a nice first round over, Big Cat, for you.
Well, I have a new system. I'm not making – That you just steal from other people? No, no, no, no, no, no.
It's not – no, I'm not making any picks this year. I'm making only system picks.
And the system says – Oh, so when they win, you claim them. No, no, no.
That'll be the system. No, that'll be the system.
No, I'm just going to take every first half under blindly. And hope I go 10 and 10.
No, 9 and 7. I'd take 9 and 7 all day.
The key number there is 65. Ooh.
In first half unders with the number of 65 or more, it's 17 games over 500 in the round of 64 since 2011. Wow.
I like that. Alright, so that's it.
That's the system. I learned that one.
You talked about going back to Vegas. That was one year.
I think we went like 10 out of 11, and then I don't remember the rest of the day. That's the system.
That's the danger in doing too well in Vegas is you're going to get hammered. You're going to have too much of a good time, and then you're going to go back to the casino and lose all of it.
There is no pace in a human to be up from 9 a.m. all the way to the end two days in a row out there.
I don't care. What's your strategy from just like a health standpoint? How do you pace yourself? I don't.
I'm still asking. It's been, I think, 10 years.
What really helped was, I think in like 2014 or 15, was when like the online apps. And I remember just being so happy being able to be in bed on Friday still and still firing away on games,

knowing what the lines were downstairs.

So the key is to have credit in your account for Friday morning

when you wake up to be able to fire.

So that gets dicey.

Yeah, and this will sound, people will be like,

no way you actually do this, but there is another key.

It's Thursday and Friday morning.

You don't have to go to the gym,

but going outside for a walk and getting some air is huge for the mentals. The one necessity I figured out after one year of being there is steam room.
Yeah. You need a steam.
And then they have those huge, the bucket that fills up with ice water and you go to the plunge or whatever. Yes.
And you just go in there. Yeah.
That's a workout. That's a full workout.
It's like you rise, you're right in heaven. Yeah.
And then you just go attack the day. But I've never gotten soft enough where I needed the IV in the room or anything.
No. It's pretty simple.
Just keep a couple bottles of Pedialyte and you refresh, get a steam, and you're good to go. So good luck to all those people, especially the first-timers, because you have no chance out there.
No, I'm just convinced that if you sweat, if you sweat when you're hungover, then that gets rid of all the bad feelings. Yes.
But even before the sweat, you get that itch. You know the itch before the sweat? It's brutal.
Yes. Just terrible.
Yes. I'm curious to know if you have a platform that you use across the board board because when you and Scott do your winners in football season, you love taking underdogs.
You almost exclusively take underdogs. Is that the same when it comes to the tournament? Or are you guys such value hounds that you can look out there and you can see exactly, okay, the lines aren't where I want them to be.
I'm going to take a lot of favorites. Well, this is why I'm really upset at myself because I do usually take a bracket, fill it out as fast as possible, and then I quit last night because it was too hard.
And that's my go-to when I'm deciding in a game. I just go back and look at that bracket I filled out first and just bet against whoever I picked there.
Yeah, that's good. That's always, yeah.
But I didn't do it, and now I got, you know, talking to you guys with great minds like you and Jake, now everything's fluxed in my head, so I don't have that true essence of going back and picking on something. The last undefeated team was on New Mexico.
New Mexico. Oh, okay.
January 3rd. How about Power 5? How about Power 5? Purdue.
Had to be Purdue. January 2nd, Rutgers.
Well, are we... Yeah.
UConn is considered power six? Yeah. Big East is power six.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. They were January 3rd.
UConn was? Okay. Yeah.
Okay. I'm looking right now.
They lost to Xavier December 31st. Oh, no.
Mexico was – Oh, no. Jake.
Oh, man, Jake. But Purdue was after UConn.
Jake, it brings me no pleasure, but I'm suspending you from this podcast for 45 seconds. Yeah.
Purdue was January 2nd Rutgers, I want to say. Take some time.
Am I right, Max? Oh, Max is just grinning ear to ear right now. He's loving this.
He's loving this. Jake, you're going to just have to watch the tape.
You're going to have to go back, review the tape, see where it all went wrong.

I'll tell you right now, it was probably

when you thought he was saying last undefeated

team ever.

Speaking of Jake and pronunciations,

I've tried to help him. Jake,

who is the three seed in the West?

Gonzaga.

That's a little

better. Okay.
It's

Gonzaga, not Gonzaga.

I have never once said Gonzaga.

If you pull the tape, I will write it out.

I have never said Gonzaga.

Never.

You just said it.

Gonzaga.

No, but you just did.

Okay, pull up the tape.

We will.

You just did when you were-

I said Gonzaga my whole life.

As opposed to what?

Gonzaga. You just said it again.
Oh, my God. Like, you just did it three times.
I hate you guys. I hate you guys.
Watch the tape. I'm trying to help him, and then he gets mad at me.
Like, go check the tape. Jake, I saw it.
I'm texting you to let you know you're wrong. Yeah.
So I'm trying to help him, and then he gets mad at. That video, you were wrong about me being wrong.
Jake, I'm going to sit next to Mark. Jake, you've experienced five minutes in the life of what it must be like to be Billy.
Yeah, Billy's just sitting here like this rules. Yes, awesome.
This is just how I always get it. The undefeated team, yes.
The pronunciation thing, no. Well, I mean, you did say it three times.
Yeah, because I was telling you what I didn't say. Right, but then you said you didn't say it.
You're Mike Francesa right there. Oh, my God.
Never said that. Never said that.
I never said that. Jake, who's Arizona State playing in the playing game? Nevada, not Nevada.
There you go. Smart.
I'm going to say right now, pronunciations are for pussies. I say whatever I want.
Nevada, Nevada, Gonzaga, Gonzaga, Oregon, Oregon. I don't care.
The Klaus. The Klaus.
Yeah, there you go, Billy. I'm back on your side.
Yeah. If they understand what I'm trying to say, then that's your fucking problem.
That's true. That's a good point.
If you can't be palatable of it, then good point If you know what word we're saying It doesn't matter how we say it Bam That's some facts right there How's Billy doing with the all he can eat He's slimmed down a little bit But that's mostly from the tick infestation Yeah he had a really, he had a really bad infection that was... It's not an infection.

It was an allergic reaction.

He's not contagious.

Not contagious, for the record.

The rash is totally normal.

That's why the office was a ghost town when I came in Friday.

Yeah.

Dude, look at this, Steve.

I want your live reaction.

I'm going to text you.

Don't say it.

You can't tweet it, but that was...

Billy here?

That's what Billy looked like on Friday. I just sent you the picture.
I'm looking better now. Jesus.
It was bad. It was bad.
Oh, my God. His dog works at the flea factory.
It's tough for him. It's tough.
Careful what you're putting in your mouth, Billy. What were the – oh, we were we were in the rest of your picks yeah we got sidetracked there in a great way what other picks um they've already bet oh that i've already bet let's see let's get that sheet uh i took charleston plus the points against san diego state yeah talk to me about that because everyone says Charleston's lucky.
They barely win games, but you like that? You're just fading the Mountain West? I do. Like 40% of their shots are threes, and I love that in a tournament because if those guys get hot, that's the ultimate underdog right there.
And San Diego State, I mean, listen, the Mountain West, as a conference, they've lost eight straight NCAA tournament games. That's another thing.
This committee and their love for the Mountain West putting Nevada in, it just boggles my mind. San Diego State's on the list.
They are on the list. But I think Charleston keeps it close.
And that's the list to win a national title. They were the one Mountain West team, but they got a tough draw.
I feel like the injury to Virginia makes that line against Furman. I feel like people just hate watching Virginia play, so they're going to bet against them.
I'd be careful there because I don't think Furman is going to dictate tempo, and Virginia does a great job with that kind of stuff. I saw people picking Santa Barbara.
I don't think they're that good. I still think Baylor's battle-tested in the Big 12.
So there. And where's our Vermont, Jake? How many points we got in there? All right, Jake, here's redemption.
11 points. Okay.
How's our guard play? The guard play is good. They've got Robin Duncan the fifth year.
Finn Sullivan. Is that kid that worked on Wall Street for a year? No, that's Matt Veretto.
UConn. And then he took some time off.
I think he's 23 or 24 now. He made four threes in the American East Championship.
Also, it's a revenge game against Shaka Smart and Marquette because Marquette, they ignored Jake when they were walking off the ground. Yeah, but I left early, so it matter.
Do you? That's when Jake was leaving early PFT. So that's why there was no comeback.
Speaking of Shaka Smart and Marquette, do you how do you rate Shaka Smart's ability to play defense from the coach's box? Because he was on the fucking floor. Elite.
Elite. It's unbelievable to watch these coaches.
I think Shrewsbury at Penn State, that guy's on the court all game. Shaka goes from three points.
I mean, he'll even give you the hand up. Yeah.
When they got the ball when he's down his end and he can't be in a wide stance because the defense is on his own end, it's amazing to watch. The fist pump he gave was pretty impressive.
And I will say this about Shaka. In all my years of going to tournaments, when you're the first game and you win, you go do the press conference, you go back to the hotel with your team, get some family time, and you send the assistants out to scout the next game.
Shaka came back out with his staff and watched every single second of UConn

and Providence, and I've never seen that before by a head coach.

So I was pretty impressed by that.

It was good to see that a head coach will hang out with his assistants in public

in an atmosphere like that.

I like that.

But I just – Marquette going – that's a team like I'm trying to predict

going against it.

They won a regular season.

That, you know, they were picked ninth. I don't know if you saw the Colek story.
They asked the media what you think of the media picking you in ninth, and he said, fuck them. And that's how they break their huddles now.
Every single time they get together, it's one, two, fuck them. So Colek, a lot of attitude.
I'm not a fan of the gray socks he wears that feels a little pft ish to me i feel like if he was a point guard would go gray socks i would know but marquette i would feel like the bias yeah i figured you would yeah um but you don't want to hide those biceps now you're slim and trim i just love i love the look every year we get one or two all- time big baggy undershirt guys in the NCAA tournament. And so I'm just excited to meet one of the new ones.
Next time they play together, if they do Luca and Kyrie, they got this like white mock turtleneck thing going underneath. It's terrible.
It's like matching. It's bad.
That's cute. That's cute though.
Yeah. Okay.
So talk me out of NC State because I've been thinking about having NC State make – I know you hate the ACC. My counterpoint, they got that 300-pound dude, and he's fun to watch.
Love the beast. Love the beast.
I was not that impressed by Creighton, seeing them in person. I still think there's some holes defensively.
Cockburner's a mountain of a dude, really good athletically around the rim. So the problem is NC State has guards that are going to shoot threes, and they are not afraid to shoot pull-up jumpers.
And what's Creighton going to do? I think they're going to play some of that drop coverage. So if NC State's on, they're going to hit that.
My problem is that guard matchup against Baylor, I feel like Baylor would overpower, uh, NC state's guard, but NC state, when they are good, they could be anybody in the country. Uh, but I I'm interested to see how they play because they're going to get open looks.
It's just, that's why they're an 11th seed. They are not consistently consistent offensively, but when they are good, they are darn darn good.
Okay. A, a couple more.
They also lost to Clemson three times this year, and Clemson didn't get in. Yeah, I was saying that last night.
Clemson fans have every right to be pissed about that because they worked them in the ACC tournament. I don't like betting unders, but Arkansas-Illinois feels like a brick fest to me.

And everyone's going to say, oh, these two teams are very talented.

They are.

Arkansas just loves to go to the rim.

Illinois can guard against the rim.

And Illinois, Arkansas's one weakness in defense is the three,

and Illinois can't shoot threes.

It's a brick fest.

A rock fest. On top of that, too, Musselman is a great in-game coach.
He's going to micromanage the hell out of that game to try and get that matchup against Kansas in the next round. I do feel like everyone is picking Arkansas.
That's what scares me. Yeah.
But I do like your call on the under there. Arkansas will be coached up on the perimeter D.
And, you know, Meyer is hot and cold to me. Shannon, I mean, early in the year, they beat UCLA in Vegas.
He was the best player in the country that night, the way he played. So, again, 8-9, you're going to get your power teams that have underachieved this year.
These are two exceptional examples of that. So, what do do you have for a number there 144 and a half i think that game's played in the 60s but i think that game i don't see both teams scoring 70 yeah that's early that's early that's i like that yeah that was the one that popped out to me again i hate usually like i i try to do everything to not bet unders and i saw that and i was like i just don't I don't think both these teams are great shot making to your point Maryland West Virginia that opened at 140 I took that under it's already down to like 138 I think damn you're so sharp oh 139 and a half so you're not that sharp good jump in jump in the pool with me uh what about Furman that's my that's my upset of the of the first round am I an idiot am I falling for the the hype of them just gunning threes and being able to do that over the pack line I have one question for you yeah do you hate watching Virginia basketball I well I do I watch the Badgers so that's why you like Furman yeah so that's to be careful there.
That's a good point. All right.
Yo, you're right. Hey, here's the deal with the Virginia pack line.
Yeah. Like Duke made threes the other night, and that packed line, guess what it has to do? It has to come out.
Right. And guard the three.
So Furman, it's on you to make some threes, and you get them off kilter. So, again, I worry about Furman dictating tempo there.ia does a great job with ki a clark who's been there for god only knows i think he played with john karate okay so i'm gonna talk myself out of that i like that all right that was good because these are i i feel like every every thought i have right now is just a stone cold loser um so i need to just flush it all out of my system that's why i like steve's method it's like get the knee knee jerk reactions on paper.
And then you have something to look back at. That's as close to fading yourself as you can ever get.
Right. Because otherwise, if you think about fading yourself, then you start to fade yourself, fading yourself.
Yes. And then you're lost.
Yes. Then you're completely fucked.
Yes. Then your dog chasing after his tail.
Yeah. Can you tell me, Steve, why I'm a moron for still believing in Purdue? Yeah.
Let's talk about Purdue in that region. Because Purdue, to me, they seem like – Zach Eadie seems a lot better.
When we watched him last year in person in that Purdue-Wisconsin game, he seemed like he was like a newborn – I think I said he was a newborn horse trying to ice skate. Like his feet didn't work correctly, right? He's growing into his body.
He's learning how to control it. This year, he's more fluid.
He seems like a great player. Some people are saying that it all depends on how he's officiated.
That makes a big difference. If he gets a couple fouls early, then Purdue's entirely fucked.
But am I insane to think that Purdue could actually make it to the Final Four? No, no, not at all. And to me, it's about what lies ahead everybody's gonna bring up painter uh one of the worst beats i've ever had involved purdue of the year against virginia i had purdue money line and that one really really hurt uh they had the ball with they had the lead 1.5 seconds and the ball was on the other end of the court and somehow virginia got a shot to tie anyway uh memphis and fau those two teams the winner of that game they don't purdue always have to play both of them they play one whoever that team is is going to pressure purdue's weakness and the weakness is experience at the guard position they play two true freshmen and you saw that catch up with with what happened uh at the end of the season with purdue yes they have Edie.
You talk about last year seeing him, he's a million times better than he was last year. And that's a credit to him for getting himself better.
So I think the key to Purdue is what do the wings do around them? Are they making threes to pull guys away? Are the freshman guards taking care of the ball and making shots where they don't get automatic double teams? Because that's where he's going to get all the focus because of the size of him. And he is the player of the year.
I get it. But he really needs his other guys to play better because that's going to help him make things easier.
The one thing I Purdue that whoever makes it to play Purdue in the sweet 16. Now you have a week to prepare for it.
Now you don't have a seven, three person I'm guessing on campus that could come in and practice to, to help with your look on the look team. But that that's where it is because now the pressure's up and now your guards have to go do it again.
But I have mayhem in that bracket. Like I said, I have Michigan State going to the Final Four there.
So it's not really something I want to put money on, but I would love to see Purdue. I think it's since 1980.
I didn't realize Gene Cady didn't even go to a Final Four. But 1980 is a long time, and it's a great fan base.
It's a great story. I always think the world of Painter, I know he hasn't had success in a tournament, but he's a good coach.
They'll be ready to go. It's just a matter of are they going to make enough outside shots to win these games.
And Titus brought up a good point. It's also how Zach Edy gets officiated.
That's a big part of it. That's a huge part of it.
I noticed that, you know, you said that you had Oral

beating Duke in the first round

as one of your upsets, but if

Duke makes it to the Sweet 16, they could be playing

against Purdue. Duke has some

seven-footers, too. Yeah,

Purdue played them earlier in the year and gave it to them.

I believe it was in Mackie,

but yeah, Duke's a different

team. I still think

Edie would have his way with Lively just because of how frail – I mean, he's done a good job of shot blocking. But this is where you've got to stand on the post and take dribble after dribble as Edie backs you down.
It's a different animal than, you know, playing help coverage where you're helping where somebody gets beat and you're coming over to block a layup. That'll be a true test because, I mean, they have Ryan Young too, but I would take Purdue in that matchup.
I like the idea of Edie against those bigs for Duke. Also, we talked about Iona briefly at the start.
We selected Iona. We are a Rick Pitino podcast right now.
We've always been a big supporter of Rick. We drafted him in the Barstool Challenge where you have to pick an underdog, and if they win two games, the winners get to go to Ireland.
All expenses paid vacation. So we're riding Rick Pitino.
We're riding him hard. So I think he can beat UConn.
And then second round, I feel like UConn is a much tougher matchup. Obviously, like St.
Mary's is five seed, VCU at 12. If Iona wins one, they win two.
That's what I'm saying. Okay.
Yeah, St. Mary's VCU is a total contrast to styles.
I actually looked at that over Big Cat because it's the lowest total, I think. It's 122.
Yeah. And I just feel the way VCU plays up and down, St.
Mary's is methodical, but they do make shots. Yeah.
But I think VCU will dictate that tempo and make that a higher scoring game. But back to Iona, one thing for you, PFT, Walter Clayton, their high scorer, football guy, turned down numerous D1 offers to play college football.
Wait. He's their leading scorer.
Then he's not a football guy. Walter Clayton.
No, he's an anti-pussy. What was it with John Gruden? Anti-football pussy.
Yeah, yeah. Anti-loving football pussy or something like that.
Yeah. He's the Walter Clayton man of the year, though.
Yeah. But when basketball guys get football guys to come play them, they claim them as football guys.
Got it. But, yeah.
You know what I'm saying? Like, it gives them a toughness. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
It's the opposite of the Antonio Gates situation, where all we'll be saying is, like, Walter Clay football. Yeah, he played football in high school.
Yeah. Yeah.
Is your screen not real? Is that not what's going on right now in Washington, D.C.? It just blacked out to a TV for a second. I think it's just permanent traffic.
Those cars are stopped on the bridge. BFD knows about that traffic.
You don't want any part of that. No, that's definitely D.C.
I can see Billy walking up the steps of the Capitol right now. Right now with a wolf mask on.
All right, I have one last question, Steve. It's a rowback question.
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I'm not answering unless I get my gear. Okay, all right.
Jake, make sure you get his gear. I saw him wearing it at the Big East Tournament.
Text Steve. Get his address.
Yeah, I bought that. Let's get him some gear.

This will right all the wrongs.

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All right.

Give us your final four.

You can change it.

So you can give us any final four you want.

And I want at least one listener to take exactly what Steve says

and then either tweet him saying, fuck you, and I will retweet it, or tweet him saying thank you at the end of the tournament. So I want one person to basically ride with Steve, and you will be accountable for their bracket.
Do your best. This isn't yours.
This is someone else's. Yeah, you could do a different pick.
Like, give them your best. Take out Michigan State.
That's the dumbest pick I've ever heard.

Do.

Why?

I'll bet you right now they're not going to go to the Final Four.

All right.

They're 18-1 to win the region.

Okay, great.

All right.

You give me 18.

Yeah.

All right.

Done.

100 bucks.

I'll give you $1,800.

You got it.

You give me 100.

Deal.

I love that.

All right.

Alabama. Michigan State $1,800.
You got it. You give me $100.
Deal. I love that.
All right. Alabama, Michigan State.

Oh, man.

Oh, man.

I can't pick between this TCU-Gonzaga game.

TCU and Texas.

Wow.

All right.

So one person is going to fill that out.

No, they're not.

Yeah, no, they are.

I don't know. TCU and Texas.
Wow. All right, so one person's going to fill that out.
No, they're not. Yeah, no, they are.
I will. I'll be that one person because now I've got to go against my own action because if Michigan State goes to Final Four, I'm going to be so pissed.
I'm going to be so fucking pissed. If Michigan State loses in the first round, I think that kind of vindicates everybody out there that's saying that Tom Izzo is overrated, though, right? Yeah, some people are saying that.
Some people have been saying that for seven years. That's another part of the UConn fan.
Like, that is so bad. They were wearing shirts this week in New York that said January, February, UConn, April.
Like, Michigan State has had that saying for 23 years. And then UConn just decided to do it.
And also, UConn hasn't won a game in March that meant anything in years. Probably since the national title.
And also, April is the national title. Correct.
That shirt is stupid. It basically says that you're not going to get to the Final Four.
I just hope that it's not a barstool shirt. Danny Hurley also said that UConn owns the MSG and he's never even made it to the Big E's final.
So that was like the biggest thing. I fucking hate UConn.
I fucking hate UConn. Max was stewing with that in his face.
Like he almost didn't talk about five different times whenever UConn got brought up. future on uconn i like the huskies i like danny hurley max is wrong wow i mean he's they own msg and they've never he's never been there he's never been to the final so how do you say that you own msg when there's one team that clearly oh never mind i won't i won't no you already did i know well there's going keep going's one program that clearly owns at msg right now in the big east yes we had a down year but it's certainly not fucking yukon who hasn't been to the sweet 16 in nine years i love it oh that's max that's passion, that's anger.
It's been a tough year for Max sports-wise.

He either doesn't get into the dance or his team's finished second.

I have the odds on Stanford Steve's final four.

Alabama, Texas, TCU, Michigan State, plus 193,500.

I'm going to put that in.

Whoa.

100 wins nearly 200 grand.

All right, I'm going to put that in for $100 just in case.

You can't go all chalk. That's no fun.
Yeah, I have Memphis coming out of that region. Who? Memphis.
I'm an idiot. I have them play Michigan State.
Oh, there you go. All right, so we agree on that.
Steve, I got one more question for you. Why do you hate Kansas? It seems like you absolutely hate Kansas.
I love Kansas. I just feel like this dynamic with coach uh is he going to be around I I think the world of him and and I in order to make another run they they need him um and I'm I don't know what's going to be the status of him but I I feel like I think UConn is a matchup for them.
I do think, you know, Kansas with the guards.

But I don't hate Kansas PFT.

I have them actually losing in the Elite Eight.

Sounds like you were debating between Gonzaga or TCU to make your Final Four.

Yeah, because they're going to play in the second round.

Okay.

And then you were also saying that Arkansas, you wouldn't want to fuck with Bus Bus.

So I was just clearing it up. I was giving you the opportunity to speak your mind on kansas no disrespect but if bill self's not going to be there you're not betting on him uh i mean the lead a is still a good season after the national championship no yeah i guess it's okay that's a bill self special until he won last year oh look at you firing in from the top row um all right Well, Steve, thank you.
Hold on one second. Yeah, yeah.
I need a guarantee from PFT he will be down here for an XFL game. The people need it.
The beer snake. The beer snake was amazing last night.
D.C. Defenders 4-0.
Top of the table. My former team.
I will be down in D.C. for a game this year.
year yes in uniform you can book that uh i i think they confiscated my uniform i think that got sold at auction so the rock probably has it posted up in his basement somewhere um i don't have my old uniform but i've got cardale jones jersey so yeah i will be there in a uniform drinking beers adding to the cup snake with you at Audie Field this year. A hundred percent.
All right. Feed the snake.
Love it. Love it.
Sorry for letting you down, Steve. Oh, Jake.
I got a quick memory. Like it's, it's behind me.
Let's get a Vermont cover. That's what we need.
You gotta be coachable. Jake.
Yeah. We're doing it.
Don't. No, we're good.
Apologies. Just get better.
All right, everyone go follow Stanford Steve at Stanford Steve 82.

Obviously, you can see him on SportsCenter, also the Daily Wager on ESPN.

Five-star recruit coming out of high school.

Yeah.

Stanford Steve.

Ansonia's finest, right?

No, it was Ansonia?

Don't even.

All right, Steve.

Ansonia, Connecticut.

Thanks, man. We appreciate it.
Represent. All right, see you.
All right, guys. Have a good one.
See you. Stanford Steve is brought to you by Morgan & Morgan.
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All you parverts, get it. Go to Topgolf, practice your golf, drink some beer, have some great food, have a great time.
It's golf. It's not golf at the same time.
It's Topgolf. Download the app, book a bay, and come play around.
And now, here's Snooki. And now for something completely different.
Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest, personal hero of mine. It is Snooki.
And she's here with our colleague and her best friend Joey Camasta. Hey y'all.
So you'll hear him as well. Snooki you are a personal hero of mine.
That's amazing. Why? I love reality television.
I remember watching the first Jersey Shore and be like Snooki that's how I want to live my life. Yeah.
Hot mess. You are it.
So you have the new Jersey Shore and be like, Snooki, that's how I want to live my life. Yeah, hot mess.
Yeah, you are it. So you have the new Jersey Shore is coming out.
January 26th. Yes.
Family reunion. Did you think that in, what has it been, 20 years? What is it, 15 years? I'm not that old, bitch.
Well, 2009 it started. So almost 15 years.
Do you think you'd still be doing this with these people and going on family reunions?

I mean, no.

I thought it was only the six seasons, and then that was it.

I had my kids.

I was married.

You got divorced?

No.

Oh.

I'm still married?

Oh, you said I was married.

Don't put that in the universe.

No, you said I was married.

All right.

Got married.

Yep.

Had kids.

She was married, too.

Yeah, she was married. But she's still married.
Yeah yeah same shit um but then all the reboots started happening with like all the older shows so we were like oh maybe we'll come back and then we came back and we're still freaking doing it and it's i mean i would imagine like you know i'm old it's not bad though i mean yeah yeah i got three kids to feed so it's nice right yeah right i gotta be completely transparent i'd never watched the. I'd never watched the Jersey Shore.
Oh, my God. That's okay.
I'm not offended. It's not a knock against you.
It's not a knock against you. Yeah.
Sometimes you miss things, and I just missed it for whatever reason. Well, you should really watch the first season.
I know. It's good.
It's the most important cultural thing America's ever given to the universe. Yes.
I'm sure it's amazing. Hot mosquitoes.
I will go back. I actually live at the Jersey Shore in the summertime.
Oh, where? I understand the appeal. I was in Asbury Park last summer.
Fun. Spending time down Belmar.
Oh, Belmar's. Way too old for Belmar.
Yeah, you are. Yeah, yes.
At what point did you know, like, okay, I might be aging out of the Jersey Shore because it seems to happen to everybody where they're like, can't go out to djs every weekend anymore no i think once uh we wrapped season six because i was pregnant so i was like i think all this shit is done now like i have to be a mom yeah you know like i of course i have my times where i go out and i'm still fun but i mean that's when i knew my life was changing yeah so if you could describe what happened in the Jersey Shore. Give me like 30 seconds and say what happened

from the start to the end of Jersey Shore.

Like the first season?

Yeah, give me like spark notes on it.

It was trash.

The house smelled like sex

and cigarettes and vodka.

There was dirty panties everywhere

and not ours, random people's.

I got arrested on the beach.

I got punched in the face by a guy.

It was fun.

Okay.

That's pretty much something else. What about the note? You didn't mention the note.
Oh yeah, and the beach. I got punched in the face by a guy.
It was fun. Okay.
That's pretty much something. Sold.
What about the note? You didn't mention the note. Oh, yeah.
And the note. Can you explain that to PFT? Because it's an iconic moment in television history.
Yeah, I wrote an American historical note. Yeah.
And I pretended I didn't write it. But then she found out.
And then it was a big fist fight a big um fist fight yeah ronnie and sammy sweetheart were were dating and ronnie was uh kind of maybe not doing things he should be doing you know he cheated on sam he cheated on sam is a snitch were you were a snitch wrote i was friends with both so girl code and i didn't want ronnie to beat me up so i wrote a note but you wrote the note as somebody else so it wasn't't you snitching, it was somebody else. Jenny wanted to write the note on a computer because we didn't have electronics.
So I thought that Sam would have thought it was a producer because we don't have a computer. We don't have a printer.
Right. But yeah, that didn't go over well.
So yeah, and he broke them up. I mean, that was, you know.
Well, he cheated on her. Yeah, but come on.
Multiple fat women. Yeah.
That is true. It was.
Breasts. It was grenades, you'd call them? Yes, breasts.
Grenades. Yeah, I mean, was there...
When you guys are doing the first season and then it comes out, did it kind of blow your mind, though, like that everyone was adopting the culture that you guys put out there? Like the, you know... Yeah.
The cabs are here and grenades, all these things. Well, we had no idea that it was going to be more than one season.
So I went in because I always want to be on real world like I knew I want to do reality um so I tried out never got called back but then I got calling all guidos and I was like oh it's me I'm orange like I could do this um so we only thought it was gonna be one season and then they're like all right let's do it again in Miami and then they were talking about switching up casts but they were just gonna keep me and Pulie and then bring new people in but that didn't happen so then we kept doing more and i'm like oh shit i think this is a thing yeah yeah it was and when you watch it were you like i always am curious how reality television uh works like i know that there's obviously some things that are manufactured and it's not all real but no it was it was pretty it was all fucking real at least the first couple seasons yeah all six seasons oh really yeah even this new one well this new one's kind of different because we don't actually live in a house and it's not rigged so you're not seeing everything you're just seeing like random dinners here and there got it when we shot those seasons we were in a house 24 7 cameras everywhere for a full month so you got to see everything you didn't need to make anything up right Yeah. Right.
And I remember when it came out there was there was some blowback. You guys got some pushback from like the Italian.
Unico. What was it the Italian people were mad.
They were. But I was like bitch I'm not Italian.
Yeah you're Chilean. But we never all.
They stereotyped you. I mean we never all like said like hey we're Italian.
It was just like I guess Guido was very derogatory for them. But to us it was just like a lifestyle and it was it was like being emo or being like a rocker.
You know we're Guidos. So wait did you feel like that.
Did you feel like these what is it Unico. I think that's what they went from like trying to fight for Columbus Day to then just going after the Jersey Shore? Yeah.
That's crazy. It's anti-Italian discrimination.
Yes. Yes.
I won't stand. Relax.
So how would I become a Guido then? If it's not like an Italian stereotype, if it's just like a lifestyle, give me a quick step-by-step how I would turn into a Guido. So back in the day, you would need, obviously, tan.
You're a little bit pale. I am.
That's fair. So we would cut that hair also.
And we would do a blowout. And then you have to wear a lot of bejeweled Ed Hardy shirts and all that.
Okay. I'm in.
All that shit. I could be talked into going Guido.
I think you could do it. And how long have you been friends with Joey? Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Since season two of Miami.
So 2010. Yeah, like 12 years.
How'd you guys meet up first? He's a freak. Yeah, well, we know that.
He treated me like I was like this fashionista, Paris Hilton, when I first met him. I thought she was Meryl Streep when I met her.
Such weirdo. Like 7 a.m.
And that was season two. So I was still like 21, 22.
Like no kids yet, whatever. So I rolled into this photo shoot 7 a.m from the club smelling like alcohol like you know coming down and i'm like i need another shot i was like i'm gonna i'm gonna freak out so he was taking shots with me at 7 a.m and that's when i knew like this might be my soul my soul brother and are you are you soulmates yeah yes yeah you are yes oh wow definitely the same person.
Okay, so if you share a brain, Joey, what do you think about the situation, speaking on behalf of Snooki? The actual guy situation? Yeah. I think that we love him.
I think he's great. I think he's the most improved out of anyone in the whole cast.
He wins MIP. 100%.
Yeah, most improved player. Yeah.
Okay. Would you agree with that, Snooki? Yes.
With Joey's assertion? We're talking about Mike, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's a totally different person.
He is. In a good way, but he still has his bullshit drama shit that he does with us.
He's just sober. He's not taking drugs doing it.
He's still a shit starter, but he's just sober and he needs well. Him in the neck collar crying is just another iconic moment.
That was his rock bottom. Yeah, he was.
What, he tried to fight a wall? Was that what happened? Well, he didn't want to fight Ron, so he just ran into the wall. That's right.
That's right. And then, yeah.
He had a neck collar. He died.
Yeah. That's a good way to get out of a fight, though.
Yeah. One thing that always people forget, I think, about reality TV is that when you're filming it, if you're in a house type situation, they don't let you watch television at all.
You can't. No, you don't have anything.
You can't read even. No, you can't read.
You can't write. You can't be on a phone.
Sounds like every day for me. You don't have your phone for like a full month.
But we would sneak our phones in. Yeah.
So when you're taping, it's like how do you – you don't find any – like you're you're not watching sports on TV. No, so like, if God forbid, like, the president died, we would have no idea.
What happened when Bin Laden got shot? How did you find out Bin Laden got shot? When was that? It was 2011. Were you filming in 2011? I don't think we, yeah, but I don't think it was the time when he got shot.
Okay. I don't remember.
Yeah, it just seems to me like it'd be very boring to be in a house

with no television.

Well, that's why

all we do is drink

and then we end up

fighting, hooking up.

It's, yeah,

that's all there is to do.

When you go to the bars,

were you allowed to talk

to the people there

and say, what's going on?

Who got thrown off this show?

What's going on over here?

Yeah, but I mean,

at that point,

we didn't care what was going on.

We were just drinking

and having fun.

Yeah.

Wait, which was the girl

that you hated, Dina or? No, Dina's my meatball. Oh, Angelina.
Yeah, Angelina was a horrible brat. Yeah.
Yeah. And she came on the cast, what, season two, and you guys just iced her out? Yeah.
She was there season one. She left.
And then she came back season two. And then she left again.
So that was it for her. Yeah.
The worst. Nobody got along with her.
Yeah. She was terrible.
She just was a bad person or what yes yeah okay she wasn't great she missed out on the cash cow she did that's her problem yeah yeah all right so um i've seen you talk about your mom three three kids yeah three kids what are you gonna do when they start watching they already see shit on tiktok and and i said mommy's an actress oh so then what are you gonna do when they uh get older smart enough to realize that's not the truth i'll just be like mommy was a shit show yeah i mean what are you gonna do yeah i mean i have two kids and i wonder like what what's gonna happen when they look up you know all the shit i've done it's gonna be interesting like i did most of all that shit basically when i wasn't a mom so i was like i was like I was just living my life, guys. Yeah.
Like, I'm teaching my kids not to judge. That's good, but I- Hopefully, they won't think I'm a shitty mom because of it.
Well, like, when they, you know, like, are drinking in high school, you're not going to be able to be like, don't drink in high school. I mean, I don't even want to think about that yet.
They'll be like, mom, look at you getting arrested on the Jersey Shore. What are we talking about? Fuck off, I know.
I don't even want to think about that right now. They're only

10, 8, and 3. That's a future you problem.

Give me some time. I don't want to stress about that

yet. Was there ever any jealousy on the show?

Because from what I know about Jersey

Shore, it was very evident

that you were going to be a big deal even after

it was over. You were like one of the big stars.

Was anybody ever upset that you were

getting all the shine? It's like Snooki's really

taken away from my camera time

on this show. I don't think so.

I mean, I personally never fought

Thank you. Was anybody ever upset that you were getting all the shine? It's like Snooki's really taken away from my camera time on this show.
I don't think so. I mean, I personally never fought for camera time.
Like, let me sleep. You guys want to do you? Go ahead.
I want to sleep. So I don't think so.
And no one's ever said it. But I mean, I'm sure there was times where we were all like, to each other.
Do you know what happened to the deleted footage? You know, the stuff that they couldn't air on TV? Does that ever cross your mind? Like, somebody has that? MTV has all the sex tapes, let me tell you. Oh.
Mm-hmm. Are there any rules that you've signed off? Like, hey, they're not allowed to do anything with this.
Are they kept under lock and key? No, we didn't have rights like that. We had zero rights.
See, I would be nervous that one day somebody's going to put put out the smush room tapes i mean i think it's illegal to like show all that shit yeah i mean something but they showed a lot on the show so it is what it is they did but i mean like naked wise i don't think you could actually show as naked weren't you always under the covers though are you sometimes you throw them off yeah you throw them hot. Oh, no.
And, like, you want to be under the covers because the camera's right there on the bed.

That is weird. But, I mean, once you're in the moment and you're drunk, you just...

Love is love.

I mean, me and Gianni have some tapes on there.

Yeah, love is love.

Did you ever, like, were there any guys or girls that got brought back to the house

and they're like, wait a second, there are cameras in the room that we're about to do it in?

No thanks, I'm out?

No, because they knew what they were doing.

Yeah?

Yeah, and those girls didn't give a shit. They just wanted to have sex with paulie d and situation yeah who who came to your wedding from the cast everybody but um mike yeah mike because we weren't speaking oh what happened there and then he was just like still getting off the drugs and he was fighting with everyone so i didn't want him at my wedding got it um and then me and vinny were mad at each other because he was doing stand-up and my whole his whole thing was making fun of me what and i'm like you got no more material like you got to throw me under the bus like that so i was mad at him for a little bit so he didn't go to my wedding um and then angelina obviously i haven't spoken her in years and who's on is everyone back for this Yeah, everybody.
But no, Ron's not because he's still working on his shit. Yep.
And then Sammy refuses to come back. Yeah.
Would you talk to her at all or no? I've been trying to reach out and I'm like, you really need to come back on the show. Like even if it's just a dinner with us girls.
Yeah. People want to see you.
And then all of a sudden she blocked me. Oh, she blocked you? I don't know what I did.
what I did On social media and phone Well no I haven't reached out to her Because I get the hint Like you blocked me Why am I going to reach out to you Joey do you have her number I have her number yeah You want to call her No Why no let's just call her right now Let's call her right now And see if we can get this figured out No We break history I mean I'm good If she doesn't want to speak I'm not chasing her Come on call her Joey No I can't she'll yell at me No why It's not you chasing her It's Joey Yeah Joey's going to Joey,. I mean, I'm good.
If she doesn't want to speak, I'm not chasing her. Come on, call her, Joey.
No, I can't.

She'll yell at me.

No, why?

It's not you chasing her.

It's Joey hitting her up.

Yeah, Joey, call her and be like, have you seen Snooki recently?

I can't find her.

She's missing.

I'm worried about her.

I got her kids right here.

This would be great.

This would be great content.

No, she'd be mad.

Nicole doesn't want to do that.

I'm not calling her.

Yeah, no, Joey, you give me your number.

I'll call her.

Okay, you'll call her.

Yeah, I'll call her.

From my phone?

Yeah. Okay, should he? Nick? I mean, I don't think so.
Oh, damn. Sorry.
It's not that big of a deal. Of you guys not talking? Yeah.
Even though you're best friends? Yeah, I mean, we were very close. It's sad, but I mean, that's her decision, so I'm good.
I want to see you guys get back together. Well, that's on her.
Yeah, that's true. You've done all you can do.
Literally. Yeah.
All right. I like that.
I can be at peace with that. That is weird behavior.
She would block you. Yeah.
I mean, I can't imagine like one day, like I just I wake up and I block me. I'm also like 35.
Like, why are you blocking me? I was in high school. Yeah I don't even want to chase it.
Yeah. So, all right.
So how many more seasons are we going to do? Well, we're starting to film again. Oh.
In like two months. I like this.
Just keep going. I'm tired.
You are? I would like to have like some sort of break. Like we stopped Thanksgiving and now we're already like shooting and gearing up for another trip.
And where's it shooting? I know they don't tell us okay and now have you thought maybe like transitioning to like the next stage of reality television doing like real housewives did real housewives in new jersey kind of steal your guys shtick for a better word no i don't think so are you tight with any different shows do you know any of them yeah okay yeah they're nice they're nice girls but um i just just did Andy's show, and there was like a little drama because everybody wanted me on Housewives, and he was like, nah, I'm good, and I personally wouldn't

do Housewives because those bitches are dirty.

Yeah.

They are mean.

Yeah.

They're grimy.

It's all about drama.

I don't want that.

I just want to have a good time.

I did always appreciate that about you.

It did feel like you weren't one of the people who was trying to backstab people. You're just having a good time.
I literally just want to have a good time and go home. So Housewives is not that.
That's a great mantra. That is good.
I want to have a good time and go home. Yeah, go sleep.
I appreciate that. You've done some other stuff, though.
You did Dancing with the Stars, right? I did. You did Celebrity Apprentice.
I did. Oh, it's terrible.
And you did WrestleMania. I did do WrestleMania.
So out of those three, what's your biggest accomplishment? WrestleMania champion? Yeah, WrestleMania first then Dancing with the Stars because those were two amazing experiences and Apprentice I freaking hated. Why? Does it work? Well, no, I was away from my kids so I didn't see them for like two weeks straight so that killed me.
But also everything was so serious. People were backstabbing each other just to win i literally walked in the boardroom i was like this showing for me i gotta go was it um walked out was it schwarzenegger or was it schwarzenegger yeah how is he as a boss amazing he's so cool yeah he's iconic it is funny though that on celebrity printers they just trick everybody to going into an office and working for them yeah this sucks your work i wasn't into it terrible into it.
Terrible job. Yeah.
That would be weird, though, if you did go on Housewives and then your friends from the Jersey Shore showed up and it was like a crossover episode. That would break people's brains, I think.
It's like, wait, these characters aren't on this show. No, it would be crazy.
They're on a different show. Yeah.
Is there something that people come up when they see you on the street and they're like, hey, Snooki, and they thing that you're really sick of them saying you look so much better in person i'm like cool because i'm a fucking frog on tv yeah like i get it no but i get it because on tv like we're drinking so you're not looking your best and like joey's not doing my makeup right you know what i mean you need him there yeah we're just like trashy on the show so i mean i get it but i'm like thanks what is your what does your husband think about your reality television career like that you keep going out there is he supportive like yeah i mean it's hard for him because obviously when i leave he's with the kids right so he's like just know that i'm doing my best at home like i support you but um it's a lot for him yeah because he's home with three kids and does he watch every episode no none of them no really he's just like out of sight out of mind yeah i don't even watch them sometimes yeah i mean it would be tough to watch yourself well it's hard because my kids sleep with me and they're always in the bed so like i don't know if i'm like drunk and cursing or you know like doing a cartwheel and like something happens You know happens. I just don't want my kids to see that.
So I don't watch it. I watch it on my phone so nobody sees it.
Got it. You've been around reality TV for so long.
Do you have a sixth sense of when something's happening, when you're doing something and you're like, this is going to be gold. They're going to love this later.
Yeah. But I also know when I say something and then then I'm like, shit, this is going to be a thing.
Oh. And then it snowballs into a bigger thing, and I'm like, ugh.
And you can't ever tell them, like, hey, cut that out. No.
Never? We don't have anything to say. Nothing.
No. That.
I mean, it's nice now because we just, this season, we were out dancing, and I guess my nipple was starting to come out. Okay.
And usually they would keep that. But Sally Ann, the executive producer, came up to me.
She goes, I'm just going to cut that out for you, okay? And I'm like, thank you. Oh, nice.
Because I don't want that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, like, silly things like that, but, like, back in the day, they wouldn't have cut that. No change.
I think they have respect for me somewhat as a mom. As a mother, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, like, yeah, let's cut that nipple shot out Have you thought about nipple protection How to make this not happen I mean I should be wearing nipple pads I guess I don't know I'm old Alright so Joey tell us something that we don't know about Snooki That would shock everyone Be nice She's a psychic. What? Oh my god, Joey! Here we go.
Here we go. No, she really does.
Can you guess the number between one and a hundred? No, that's not how it works. And we meditate and lay on the floors when we're fucked up in rooms and she'll make me talk to dead people.
And it worked. It worked.
If someone walked in on us, we had meditation music on. Oh, we look like we were in a cold.
We were laying on the floors with our eyes closed. I'm crack.
It's like chanting and stuff, trying to talk to the dead. But no, she can really, she can like be in a cab and say, does the word, does the name this mean anything to you? Stop! And he's like, the dead wife is coming through.
No, it doesn't work like that. Do you talk to dead celebrities or just dead normal people? No, I'd never try to do that.
Do you know Tommy Lasorda? Can you see how he's doing? That's not how works I'm not like an actual Like yeah I'm not Teresa Caputo But think about Like maybe when you go home tonight Just give us Tell Tommy we're thinking about him Who's Tommy Tommy Lasorda Literally anybody could do it though Was that a friend of yours No well yeah He was a friend of ours He was a former Dodgers manager He passed away He's old But I would would just like to know if he's getting in fist fights in heaven.

All you have to do is clear your mind and meditate.

I usually meditate in the sauna, and that's when I start to feel things.

And then I'll text someone, like, does this make sense for you?

And then it's actually one of my friend's uncles who passed.

Anybody can do it.

You just got to meditate.

Whoa.

So can you just hit up Tommy for us? Or just like, can you tell us? I don't know how to do that, though. Is there? Just find Tommy.
Like, I'm just starting out. Yeah, I know.
Just read about Tommy. Find Tommy.
Just be like, hey. All right.
Next time I'm in the sauna, I'll be like, Tommy. Tommy, the boys from Pardon My Take want to let you know that, like, respect.
I'll try to talk to dead Tommy. She has a dead cat named Tommy as well.
Oh, yeah. So I might get confused that it's my cat.
You know what? If it gets to the cat or Tommy the Sword, I'm fine as long as the message gets sent. To Tommy.
Yeah, to Tommy. You can figure out what you want.
Can you pause for a second and think, is there anybody in this room that we might be connected to that you can channel their spirit right now? That's not how it works for me. Does it have to be hotter in this room? No, I actually have to meditate.
I'm not like an actual. You're an idiot.
I'm not an actual psychic medium. I think you are.
I think you're just underselling it. No, I'm just...
You talk to dead people. I haven't practiced it.
Please don't talk to Joey that way. Oh, he is an idiot.
Stop. He's not an idiot.
Okay. You don't know him that long? That's very true.
I love you. I did see a clip of Joey making an appearance on the Jersey Shore.
Oh, yeah. He's been banned.
So why is he banned? Can I tell them why? Yes, tell them. I do it here all the time.
So he came to Vegas. It was like a couple of seasons ago.
And we just had a blast. So much fun.
Like, we were up till 5 a.m. It was like the full episode was just me and Joey.
But he got banned because he was so wasted. He kept grabbing the cameraman's biches.
So it? Yeah, so he was sexually harassing the crew. Yeah.
Got it. And the producer had to come up to him and say, Joey, you cannot do this.
Yeah. I know.
He didn't grab cocks. Yeah, so ever since then, he hasn't been invited back.
Oh, no. Well, I've been invited back, but they keep a distance.
Last time they made me dressed in a turkey costume, and they made me wait in the car until I was ready for my performance. He sat in a costume for two hours.
But I got tipsy. I started grabbing, you know, just grabbing the guys making the dances.
You do that to Billy all the time though. Smackin' asses.
And he doesn't have a problem with it. I know, that's why I excel here.
You get canceled for that now. Yeah, you can get canceled for that.
Yeah. You shouldn't do that.
You gotta watch yourself. Yeah.
I gotta be careful. But that's why I thrive here.
Are you shocked that the Jersey Shore, like, as a whole, hasn't gotten canceled? I mean, back in the day, we did some not okay shit. Right.
You know, like, saying things and just a different time now. Yeah.
Totally a different time. Yeah.
Yeah. Was it, how crazy was it when you're making, I saw a report, I don't know if it's true, but it said $150,000 an episode When you're like 21 years old

Yeah that was back in the day

It was somewhere around that

So it's more now

That's

No

But I mean

If you're 21

And your life is

Going out

Partying

Going back to your house

Getting paid for that

You're making that kind of money

It was a blessing

What do you spend your money on

No wonder everybody hated us

If you're making

$150,000 per episode

What do you spend your money on

As a 21 year old

What kind of

What's the stupidest stuff

Luckily I have really good parents

And my dad basically invested

All my money

I don't know. If you're making $150,000 per episode, what do you spend your money on as a 21-year-old? What's the stupidest stuff you guys thought? Luckily, I have really good parents, and my dad basically invested all my money.

I hardly spent anything.

I mean, I bought an Escalade truck.

That was my biggest purchase.

But my dad took over everything.

Thank God.

Yeah.

Those trucks were awesome.

Speaking of which, how many car accidents have you been in?

Well, you saw the one in Italy.

They cut the brakes. I swear to God, because I know how to drive.
Someone tried to kill you? I know how to drive stick. Okay.
I swear one of the producers did something. Because you're not speeding.
You're going like 50 miles an hour in Italy. But of course, I hit the cop car.
I swear that was my fault. Okay.
Oh, I hit a deer once. did die yeah not it's not bad not bad i'm not a terrible driver okay when you hit a cop i feel like there was moments that you were a terrible driver no i'm sure back in the day yeah yeah now i drive a minivan and i'm amazing yeah okay what did the cops say when you hit the cop car that's like my worst nightmare the first thing they well they were swearing they were swearing in Italian.
And then right away, they gave me a breathalyzer test. And I'm like, fuck, what if I'm still drunk from last night? Because I didn't drink that morning.
But I'm like, oh, my God, if I blow something, I will be stuck in Italy. And you didn't, though.
No, I blew zero. Thank God.
Hell yes. Can you imagine? Because that happens to people.
Yeah, yeah. Like you're driving to work the next day, you're still drunk, and you blow something, you get a DWI.
I would think Italy had that. They drink wine with lunch there.
I would think it'd be a very, not the belligerent driving. We still can't drive drunk.
Yeah, but I'm surprised they do both. Yeah, the cultural thing.
No, they did it right away, and paparazzi was getting it. I wanted to die.
You probably blew 0.0, and they were like, well, she's American. Get her out of here.
I mean. Do you know when the paparazzi's around? Like, those pictures of you getting arrested were iconic uh i don't even remember that day so oh but did you like so can you tell though when you're like oh i know paparazzi's behind me like i can i can feel oh yeah back in the day when we shot there was like thousands following us like the kardashians yeah it's like what is this damn i hated it that's pretty awesome though it was cool being that big of a deal.
All right, well, this has been awesome. Yeah, it's nice.
I can stay here all day. Yeah.
Talk to that deer that you killed. Oh, my God.
Stop. That's kind of fucked up.
No, I don't think I killed it. It ran away.
Oh, yeah, I'm sure. I think it broke a little limb.
Yeah, with your fucking Cadillac Escalade. I'm sure that deer was fine.
No, it was my Honda that broke down. God.
Well, yes, Snooki, thank you so much. It's been awesome.
Everyone check out the new season of Jersey Shore. I'm going to watch season one.
I'm going to sit down. You're going to love it.
Can I do it in a weekend? I'm not joking when I say it is maybe the peak of American culture. You know what I might do? I might sit down at some point over the next couple weeks and just binge it.

I'll live tweet it.

I'll live tweet it.

Experiencing it for the first time ever.

All right, I'll watch it.

I'll watch your journey.

Thank you.

All right, well, Snooki, thanks so much.

We really appreciate it.

Thank you, guys.

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All right, let's wrap up the show with some FAQs, March Madness,

do's and don'ts. Henry, you ready to go? Mm-hmm.
Let's do it. You just looked up because you thought I was going to.
I'm not going to do it ever again. If you're going to hang with your boys to watch games and gamble and your games lose so you have no more money, are you being a bitch if you leave the hang immediately? Or is it about hanging with your boys and watching hoops and not just about gambling? No, this is an individual war that everybody goes through.
It's always fun to have team vets that you get loaded up on together. But if you lose and you're in a bad mood, it's a risk of spreading that contagion, of you being negative and bummed out, and you can bring down the rest of the boys or girls at the party you just gotta everyone has to find their own way through march yeah you gotta well first of all money management responsible gambling like that like you gotta know like hey you don't want to be you want to be able to be around for the whole four first four days so make sure that you got that in your head when you're when you're putting those first bets but Yeah, I would say a timeout is important.
Everyone needs a timeout. Maybe take a quick walk.
Maybe go grab something to eat. Then come back.
Here's where it really lies. If you're like hanging out with your guys and you lose your bets and you have no money to bet on and then you leave, just think about the next 11 months when you wish you had that moment where you could watch the

tournament with your boys so you just gotta mentally reset and then realize it's bigger than you it's bigger than any of us this is the tournament it is the tournament it's the perfect bracket hey boys love the show big thanks for all the laughs each week we're doing a bracket challenge with my dad's side of the family, and my aunt and uncle, who are retired, by the way, claim they're too busy to fill out a bracket. How can anyone be too busy to fill out a bracket? Please advise.
That's bullshit. Takes 30 seconds.
You should just make them. You could not fill out a bracket in 30 seconds.
You want to bet? Yeah. All right.
Time me. Yeah.
Wait, do we have a pen? There's a pen right in front of you. All right.
Tell us when and talk during it so that people. Jake, do talk radio.
Three, two, one, go. All right.
So first four tonight, Pitt, Mississippi State. Tomorrow, Arizona State, Nevada.
Big Cotton PFT. Ten seconds in.
I can't do this. Jake, who do you have in the Buskers? Okay, you're right.
Ten seconds in, I got Drake. I have Drake.
Who do you have? You're right. You're right, Hank.
I got Utah State. You're right.
You were right. I'm riding Utah State to Ireland.
Credit to Hank. Shout out, Buskers.
You can do one pick a second. Yeah.
Credit to Hank. He's right.
Three minutes, you can fill out a bracket. Sup, fellas.
I was able to get myself a long weekend, but unfortunately still have to work during day one of the annual spring basketball tournament. As we all call it.
What is the proper way to bet while at work? Should I bet all unders because I won't be watching the games as much? And how many long bathroom breaks can I take to sweat out games before it becomes suspicious? So, all right, a couple things. If your work is actually monitoring you this day, it's like quit.
That's crazy. That's crazy.
You should be able to at least have it on the screen while you're fake working. Yes, unders is a great call because no one wants to watch a game when you have the under.
I took the unders on Sunday, Championship Sunday.

I didn't watch those games because it's torture.

Every shot that's made, you're like, I'm losing.

So I would just hammer all the unders and hope you win a bunch of money.

Yeah, I would do every under except for the one game that you have on on your side screen that you're paying attention to.

And then bet the over on that one.

I call them movie unders.

Whenever I go see a movie, I'll just load up on unders.

Knowing I'm not going to look at my phone for two hours, come out.

Hope you won.

Movie unders.

Sup, fellas.

Looking at the slate for Thursday and Friday,

what is the miss the game and get up and go do something slightly productive

so I don't feel like a lazy piece of shit game?

Those are the games that are always awesome.

There isn't.

There's no individual game.

There's a 30-minute gap that you can walk your dog.

We're putting a PMTV out at that exact 30-minute gap.

Okay, perfect.

Yeah, because- There isn't. That doesn't.
There's no individual game. There's a 30-minute gap that you can walk your dog.

We're putting a PMTV out at that exact 30-minute gap. Okay, perfect.

Yeah, because I remember I used to do that.

We're playing for that.

I'd take – before we were doing streams and I was just watching with friends or at a bar,

I would be like, there's a 30-minute gap that you can basically go take your dog out

and then be right back in front of the TV.

It's like between like 5.45 and 6.45. Yeah, and they play back-to-back episodes of Impractical Jokers.
That's when you take a break. The way it works is each site has a day session and a night session with two games each, so they have to kick everyone out of the arenas and reset.
So 4.30 is the last day game, and then 6.50 is the first night game. So you really don't have time.
Yeah, because that's a soft 4.30, too. It's 30 minutes after the first thing.
It goes to double overtime. It gets pushed back.
But do remember to walk your dog. That is important.
Your dog will understand if you don't go. It's March.
No, just, I mean, when I say walk, it's just pee, poop. Open the door.
Yeah. All right, and last one.
Sup PMT, long-time listener, first-time texter. Wondering if you can walk us through the etiquette of betting against either your roommate's bracket pick slash alma mater.
One, is it acceptable to do? Two, should you tell them? Three, should you chirp the whole game? Four, is there any line you shouldn't cross in this high-intensity situation? High-tensity? Wait, what was the scenario again? Is that a word? High-intensity. It's basically asking what's the etiquette for betting against your friend's bets.
I would say that you don't want to be vocal if you're betting against. You're allowed to because this is March.
It's every man for himself. Correct.
It's tough. So go with what you want to do.
But if you bet against your friend's alma mater, then I would keep that quiet. Fandom, yeah.
That's a little bit different. But you can bet against your friend's bracket, obviously.
Yeah, people will try and shame you for betting against them or make you feel personal or make it feel like it's a you against something when it when it never is no it never is you should not you know don't let them shame you don't let them feel bad you should uh there there is okay a couple rules here i think if it's great value it's great if i think everyone gets every day of march madness if you're gambling with your buddies everyone gets a must-win game and the must-win games do trump everything else in terms of you can bet against the must-win game but just get in line in terms of how you do you know you're demonstrative about it because if someone has a must-win game that means it's very important to them i also think's rules in you can't – don't be the guy who says they had the pick in the last two minutes. If you're like sitting – if Piazzi and I are sitting next to each other and he's got Alabama and I have – who the fuck is Alabama playing? Or let's say he has Maryland and I have West Virginia.
And he's like, I got Maryland. He's rooting for Maryland all game.
And then West Virginia wins in the last two minutes like hey I had West Virginia yeah don't be that guy I would I would also add let it be a known let it be known I would add to that don't don't if you're in a position where you're not betting on a game and let's use that same example and then before tip Big Cat says I love Maryland don't hear him say that and be like I'm actually going to take West Virginia's. Don't last minute it.
Don't wait for somebody to say what they are betting on and for you to be like, wait, I actually like the opposite of that. I'm going to bet on that.
Don't deliberately fade your friends. Fading happens, but let it happen naturally.
Don't fade your friends because you love your friends. Follow the system.
But if the system is fade, big cat, you got to follow it.

Oh, okay.

I had a system fade the hungry dog.

I'm a fucking millionaire.

I didn't actually.

I bet it every single time.

It lost every single time.

Not true.

It won.

No, it didn't.

Oh, yeah.

The technicality one.

There's like one game a day where you're very vocal about it.

Yeah.

I'm like, hey, I need this.

I need this.

I need this game.

You got to root for it. This is the game I need.
And if you have the opposite side that's fine but just know i need this game but yeah look it's tense i will i will just be on the i'll be a proponent for one thing if you can find one bet that everyone can get on it is so much fun yeah it is we're gonna actually do for the streams this year we're gonna do a new we're gonna try something new where i think there's like seven or eight of us streaming. And we're just going to go down the line.
So let's say Hank is first. Hank's going to pick a game in the early slates.
Everyone on the stream is going to bet it. If Hank wins, he gets another pick.
If he loses, we go to the next person. Because there is nothing better than everyone rooting for the same thing in March Madness when chaos happens.
Those are the memories that you take home and you close your eyes. You're like, remember that? Remember when we all hit that? Jelly Walker.
Jelly Walker was an all-time memory. Yep.
And there was only one person in that room who didn't have it. Bosco.
Yeah. Have fun with your friends.
Enjoy it. And remember, everyone ends up losing anyway.
So it's the memories that we take with us those are the important things i had one other thing uh what's more likely making a perfect bracket or hank getting the lottery ball number we're getting the lottery ball nine quintillion yeah you know what warren buffett's doing his his billion dollar challenge i'll match yeah if anybody has I like that. I'll match.
It has to be uploaded to whatever website Warren Buffett uses. Yeah.
I like that. I'll match that, too.
You're going to double? I'll double it. What are we giving? A billion dollars.
No, they have to. I will give away a billion dollars.
I'll double. What happens? I need to see the numbers.
Not legally binding binding Mr. Portnoy will sue you Parity law There's always like that one or two Those one or two people That have a perfect bracket Through like the first round or two Yeah Not worried Billion dollars Those are fun though I remember 94, 95 I went 16 I went 16 for 16 15 for 16 And I was like This fucking This, this is the best.
Then you're chasing that. And then I never, yeah, no, I've never even come close to that.
I got this figured out. Yeah.
And I'm sure if I look back, it was probably like the most chalky tournament of all time. It might have been, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
I'm never going to ruin that memory. Did you guys used to run bracket pools, like back in school? I used to my dad used to just his office had a bracket and he would let me

like to ruin that memory did you guys used to run bracket pools like back in school i used to my dad used to just uh his office had a bracket and he would let me like put in and it was always the best yeah it was the absolute how did you keep track of like who won i would highlight yeah i would highlight the correct way i ran a pool in high school that got so big that like the uh the school basketball coach and everybody except for the main principal all the administrators were in and then the principal found out and she threatened to suspend me for being a bookmaker yeah and then i had to give up the guy it was tough because i was i was the bracket guy everybody knew come see pft if you want if you want to get in this pool but once it reaches like you got to lay a little bit low you got to be under like once you start getting into yeah four five thousand dollar bracket pools in high school to take a step back. Yeah.
My dad used to also go to Vegas every couple years for the first round, and then I would just get to make bets through him, and that was awesome too. No idea how I ended up how I am.
All right. Hank, have you ever gotten the lottery ball number? Nope.

Numbers.

6-9.

17.

Billy's been grasping this Mike's thing forever.

Well, I've been getting

cucked lately, so

gotta start playing defense.

I guess 17.

I'll guess 88.

18.

I'm gonna go with

44.

20.

One time. Would you say hey? 69.
Said 17. Said 17.
Said 17. 36.
So close. Not even close.
Love you guys. Deer Antler has the highest rate of IGF.
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Take on me.