Mark Schlereth In Studio, NFL Divisional Round Preview + Fyre Fest Of The Week

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have our old friend Mark Slareth in studio. Great interview with him, talking about the NFL Divisional round.
We break down offensive line play, talking about run games, talking about who he likes the most, and also his badass dad. We are going to break down every single game for the divisional round.
Great weekend of football ahead of us. And then we'll finish with Firefest.
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I have the game time app open right now. Billy's going to the Chiefs game.
We'll explain why after this. But I am looking Jaguars at Chiefs.
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Okay, let's go.

Boys!

Boys!

Now in the street there is violence. We'll be it higher.
Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue. Presented by Barstool Sports.
Welcome to Part of My Take. Today is Friday, January 20th.
And we have the nfl divisional round which in my estimation is the best weekend in the nfl schedule i'd say it's it's close it's a toss-up between this and pro bowl weekend the pageantry the flag football game which is actually a flag football game this year yeah eli versus payton yeah it's going to be incredible to watch. But no, I'd say this and wild card, excuse me, super wild card.
Super divisional round weekend is also pretty great. I can't choose.
It's like choosing between your children. It's just something about it.
I think what it is is if you get, like, when you think about football and your memories, you remember the championship games. So it's like, you know what I mean? You obviously remember the Super Bowls,

but you always kind of remember the championship games. So getting a ticket to that memorable spot,

like a Final Four spot, feels so huge for the team,

the fan base, everything.

And you get four matchups.

All these games feel like they're going to be great games,

tight games.

I'm just so fucking excited. I just love football, boys.
You know what? This weekend, maybe more than ever that we've seen recently, has some of the premier logos in football matching up against each other. The Giants and the Eagles match up.
NFC beast rivalry. That's going to be incredible.
The Cowboys and the 49ers. I mean.
Too iconic. And maybe it's like a little bit of nostalgia for us.
Oh definitely because thinking back to my childhood besides super bowls i'd say nfc championship games are maybe the ones that i remember the most right that's what i'm saying these two teams yeah bills bangles feels like late 80s early 90s yep the jaguars being the jaguars i i'm i'm in on the jaguars just being the team like we've talked about endlessly. They just pop up and they spoil the party every few years.
And it's like, maybe it's this year. I don't know.
I'm going to be jagging off on Saturday. I'm going to probably be jagging off as well.
So, all right. So, some business we got to get to and then we're going to get to every single game.
Billy's going to the game. So, the bet that never died.
Billy's going to the game. It has nothing to do with the bowling bet.
Billy's going to the game. And it's a big test for Billy football and his maturity.
He just turned 24. He's going to the game.
He's going with memes. He's promised two pieces of content.
Multiple. Multiple.
Is that two? So that means more than one. over one and a half yeah i'm taking the over yeah over one piece of content from billy from this weekend and the deal is going to be he's going to make a video a vice video about chiefs fans we're going to put it on the part of my take youtube and if it gets a hundred thousand views in the first five days that it's posted, he will get fully

reimbursed for the trip.

Fair? Very fair. Very fair.

I think you can do it.

I'm very confident, very excited.

I'm actually really thankful for the opportunity.

Yeah. It's going to be great.
There's still

a chance that I just decide to go myself on

Saturday morning. You're not allowed to hang

out with me because I want to create the

content individually. You're not allowed to hang out with me.
Oh, wow. I got so many DMs from people in Kansas City.
I never even wanted to. He said it first.
I'm just saying. Fine.
You know what? You're not invited to my birthday party anymore, Billy. Seriously? No.
Yeah. Sorry.
You're not coming. You just talked your way out of it.
Sorry. I already RSVP.
I got so many good suggestions on places to drink beer and eat meat in Kansas City. I might just wake up on Saturday morning and say YOLO.
You should just send those to Billy just so he knows what places to avoid. Stay away from the following drinks.
I've already, yeah, so we wouldn't even hang out anyway. So, yeah, I'm pumped to see what you come out of this with.
I want to know more about the Kansas City Chiefs superfans because it seems like Breaking Bad as a fan base. Seems like everybody's doing meth, committing crimes.
I want to know more about them as people and I want to see Billy get in and get out of a place without getting drunk. I have a Charlie Day pinboard of the different Kansas City superfans.
How'd that work out for him uh not good you're like you're like you're like you're like verbal you know the the episode where he lost his mind and they're like there is no pepe sylvia you have that but but verbal mean me charlie day pinboard wall different kansas city superfans instagram account charlie day is one of billy heroes. Idols.
Muses. Have you

ever seen Homeland with Claire Danes?

Because that's similar to what she does. She goes

psycho. Hall of Fame crier.

Crier, deep breather. She has a septum

problem just like this. This is Bromeland.

It's with Billy football.

So I'm excited, Billy. Let's see.

How over-under amount of beers you drink on Saturday?

Well,

it depends on if...

You can't even answer that correctly.

It depends on if...

You can't even answer that correctly.

No, no, no.

It depends on certain challenges that arise.

You could have just said, over, under, half a beer, smash the under, and I wouldn't have known.

Or it's like, Billy's essentially saying, I'm probably going to get asked to drink a beer at some point by somebody,

and it would be rude of me not to drink that beer.

Yeah, it would be like going to someone's home and not taking off your shoes. Well, let's say you're trying to infiltrate a group of super fans.
You've got to act like them. You've got to hit the pipe.
Yeah. All right, so if you drink five beers, you have to also rob a bank.
Yes. Okay.
That's fair. Yeah.
And smoke meth. Yes.
And make meth. And get into a fight.
And an orgy. A lot of things you've got to do on one Saturday.
I'm doing CIA rules. When are you flying there? Friday.
So there's stuff planned for Friday as well. Okay, good.
Because I was going to say, I was worried that maybe you'd land at noon on Saturday and be like, all right, let's go do it. It's like everyone's ready to go into the game.
I heard memes planning with him. Memes is keeping Billy on a pretty short leash this weekend.
Memes is first. That's good.
First NFL game. Yeah.
It's going to be a tour de force. A tour de force.
Billy, you need to work on under-promising and over-delivering. I know.
It is a weakness. Yeah, I'm sorry.
It's going to be chill. It's going to be chill.
Yeah, and Jackson Mahomes, if you're listening, try to get a TikTok with Billy. We need you to find Jackson Mahomes.
Oh to find oh actually i'll throw that in there you don't even have to get a hundred thousand views if you get uh a actual tick tock with jackson holmes i was thinking about that that's that's your golden ticket okay so if you if if all else fails you got to find jackson holmes and do a i want like a wiggle dick tick tock it's gotta be dancing. He hasn't done a TikTok in a very long time.

You got to bring him back.

So that would be even more, yeah.

You got to do a coordinated dance with him.

You're like the guy who found Bobby Fisher.

Exactly.

I don't know.

I watched that movie.

I don't know if that's actually.

Oh, you're the guy who got.

Who's the guy who made the workout videos who's stuck in his house?

Oh, Richard.

Richard.

Sherman.

Dreyfus. No, I was going to say Pry i got covid brain what year something no richard what are you doing richard gear no richard simmons yeah yeah there we go we're really smart uh also if you have you got him out of your house yeah out of his house if you have any leads dms are open that was uh uh hey can people do my work for me no no but like there's oh like you're an investigative journalist yeah but you need every anything is great okay and no and let me just say right now stop right now what you're thinking do not do not send him fake leads that will you know get this whole investigation confused so don't send him places that aren't real and don't tell them to go places.
Don't do that. Don't you dare do that, people.
Don't do that. So this is just a small sample of some of the DMs I've got for stuff to do in Kansas City.
Check this out. You should stop by.
I've got a nice apartment you can crash in. Nice.
We have plenty of Coors Light and complimentary pot.

Oh.

So don't go to this guy's apartment. That sounds like you have to pay for the beer.

That's true.

Plenty of Coors Light.

They would have said complimentary beer.

And I bet it's really bad weed.

Don't smoke weed.

Yeah.

You got to pay for everything else except the weed.

Okay.

That's one order of business.

Sweet.

So good luck, Billy.

I'm excited to see what comes of this.

Two videos, I promise.

Okay, over one.

Just say over one.

Over one video.

Because what if you make three?

0.5.

1.5.

I'm under promising.

Oh, over a half a video.

So you're going to come back with at least a video.

A video.

A single video.

And then the other one is we're doing the Ray Allen bet.

So this is winner gets to tweet the Ray Allen tweet and then not discuss it for 24 hours um hank max myself pft and billy are all in it's going to be very simple it's elimination everyone gets one pick this weekend whoever wins gets to go to the next one and then we'll finish it with the if we get to the super bowl there's multiple people we'll do props and stuff whatever it is but everyone has one pick that they love for the weekend that we'll get to as we go through the games you can shout out your one pick. And no cheating on this so I'm mentally going to make my pick.
I've already made my pick I've got my pick locked into my brain now now I've had my pick locked into my brain since monday and it might or tuesday and it might be a game of the year now okay i've been switching between two picks back and forth nice like the round but i might be there soon nice nice nice and winner gets to tweet it it's gonna be fun all right let's get into the games i have my pick too i i don the games. I have my pick too.
We'll get to your game at the end. It's the last in chronological order.
Have you looked at the schedule of the weekend? No, you don't. Oh, okay.
I actually do. There's one or two that could be.
Really quickly, thank you to everyone who retweeted the video to get to 2,500 retweets for 15 seconds. We did do it by the end.
Yeah. There was a lot of evidence.
We tried to get, we actually probably hit it a couple times. So thanks everyone who did it.
We did it. We did it, Joe.
Yeah. My favorite part of Billy's video was the very first word of the video was a lie.
Literally the very first word. It started out, it like nice dramatic music camera panning in and Billy goes centuries ago football was invented.
Football was invented centuries ago. I guess two? Century.
Well no it's more than 100 right? It's 100. It's over 100 years.
Centuries means 200 years. Yeah I guess that would that would be.
It's in the second century. There are as many centuries as videos Billy will be making out of this.
We are in the second century of football. 19th century? Yeah.
20th century? But you can't say... 21st century.
But you don't get to say centuries ago if it's not two. Well, that's two.
It was... 21st century? It spanned multiple centuries.
20th century? Correct. It spanned multiple centuries.
19th century. But it's not two.
Well, that's two. It was multiple centuries.
20th century. Correct.
It spanned multiple centuries, but it's not centuries ago. You know, I think you might be wrong on this one.
I think that you're doubly not invited to my birthday party. You're not invited next year.
That means double negative party. No, not invited next year.
Sorry. See ya.
Okay. Jaguars-Chiefs.

The game Billy's going to be at.

Right now it's sitting at Jaguars plus nine.

And over-unders 52 and a half.

I think we might have snow in this game.

Did I hear that?

Weather might be not real.

Yeah.

38 degrees.

Snow?

Lightly slurry.

If you get to go to a snow game, that's going to be so sick.

Damn it.

And Arrowhead?

I'm concerned now about the Jaguars.

The Jaguars are a lot of things, but a warm weather team,

or excuse me, a cold weather team, they're not.

Yeah.

But I'm still going to say fuck it and bet on the Jaguars because

Trevor Lawrence Saturday.

They just seem like a team that fucks everything up.

So I'm pretty confident the Chiefs are going to win this game but it does they don't cover big spreads and doug the doug peterson aspect always like doug peterson has reached a level for me coaching where it's like they always got a chance yeah they always got a chance with doug dougie p when doing some crazy shit when he moved in to phil Philadelphia and he became the coach of the Eagles,

do you think he felt like a little... How much of the Philadelphia front office

was like customized Andy Reid stuff

that Andy had set up around the...

He got his chair just the way that he likes it.

The setup, Dougie P probably had to go in there

and rearrange the entire office.

I don't know if there's like a little bit of animosity

if Andy Reid doesn't like Dougie P

because he filled his shoes in Philadelphia. But Andy Reid off of a buy is just unstoppable Dougie P in the playoffs is kind of unstoppable yeah that's true it seems to me like this is all pointing to the Jaguars making it a fucked up game covering the spread Chiefs advance so remember these two teams did play each other this was before Jaguars went on their winning streak.
I think it was like week 10 or 11 and it was the game. So the chiefs won by 10, but it was also the game.
Dougie P started the game with an onside kick. They recovered it.
I think also the chiefs had a couple of turnovers and the chiefs still won by 10. So it feels like they might've already pushed it as far as they can.
And I am worried about the Jaguars' pass defense against this Chiefs offense. It does feel like quite a mismatch.
And Mahomes, I mean, we just always forget about it. We just need to remind ourselves it's Patrick Mahomes at home.
He's never lost. Although he has lost at home.
But he hasn't won on the road. He hasn't won on the road.
But he at home in this round home in this round i feel like i mean this would be the fifth straight afc championship game the chiefs are going to if they win this game i think there's insane i think they're gonna win and the chiefs are very very good i just don't want to discount the jaguars yet because they're liable to do some fuck shit in this game yeah no and they will empty the tank there will not be a trick play that goes unused in this game from Doug Peterson.

Yes.

Anyone have a pick on this game?

Chiefs Jags over 52.

Okay.

Over 52 and a half.

That's Billy's pick.

Yeah.

All these games are awesome.

I also love that we have eight teams left,

and you can kind of poke a hole in all eight.

Some you can poke in an even bigger hole,

but it doesn't feel like we have one team that is so dominant that is just going to cakewalk to the Super Bowl. Yeah.
Max, how do you feel as a Philly guy? Who do you side with more, Doug Peterson or Andy Reid? Oh, good question. Thank you.
Doug Peterson. You said it like it was obvious.
I mean, Andy Reid was a great coach. Andy Reid is an all-time Eagles legend.
Andy Reid kind of set the bar. I love Andy Reid.
Don't get me wrong. Sounds like you don't.
Sounds like you really don't. Put the camera on yourself, Max.
The camera is all myself. You guys love putting words in my mouth.
Hank can agree. Can't hold that.
Don't. Don't.
He is your enemy. I would say without Andy Reid, there is no Doug Peterson in Philadelphia.
But rings are rings. That's true.
Flags fly forever. Flags fly forever.
There's a statue of Doug Peterson outside of the link. There's not a statue of Andy Reid.
There should be a statue of Andy Reid. I don't hate that idea either, but right now there is one of Doug Peterson.
A bigger statue of Andy Reid wearing his Michelin man coat. I love this time of year for Andy Reid because Andy has, believe it or not, he's slimmed down a bunch over the last five, six years.
He still likes a good cheeseburger. We know that.
He's still like a fat guy at heart, but he's lost a lot of weight recently. But when he gets cold, when he bundles up, he still has the old fat coats that he puts on.
He looks like the Stay Puft man. Yeah, he looks like the Andy Reid of old, which is always fun to see.
And we've talked about this before, but I think it's been a while. A fat coach has never won a Super Bowl besides Andy Reid.
Yeah. Right? Like Mike Holmgren is probably the closest that we have.
And he was skinnier then. And when Bo Parcells, when he won a Super Bowl.
Belichick has gotten a little heavier, but I wouldn't call him fat. No, I don't think that a fat coach, a truly fat coach, has won a Super Bowl.
I guess Mike Holmgren, he was chunky, but he got bigger as the years went on. But he was chunky-ish when he won it with the Packers.
But yeah, for the amount of mass that is involved in football, you'd think more fat coaches would win. Yeah, when Andy won, he was a big boy, but he wasn't the Andy of old.
Yeah, what were you going to say? Am I crazy? Did John Madden not win a Super Bowl? Yeah, but he was actually kind of jacked. Not jacked, but he was...
I wouldn't ever... Was John Madden fat? I'm looking.
I think he was just big. He was definitely fat for his time.
Like, is David Baker fat? No, I think he's just big. He fills out his frame.
John Madden was overweight when he won the Super Bowl, but I would not call him fat. Also, that was back when overweight was like a sign of power.
Look at this, Billy. It should be today, but it doesn't.
Here's a picture of John Madden on the sidelines. All the Instagram influencers.
Skinny's in. No, no, no.
Being fat means that you're well fed, means you're rich, means you have power. Did you see that one dude's post a couple weeks ago about how small penises are actually the most beautiful thing in the world? Yeah, they're cute.
And back in the old days, back in the classic days of yore. Yeah, he's not that fat.
He's not that fat. He's just a big guy.
But his pants are high-waisted, so you can't see. Okay, so a couple fat coaches have won the Super Bowl.
It's rare. It is rare.
Okay, so that game, Billy has one pick on that game. Next game up, it is saturday night it's going to be a war giants plus seven and a half in philadelphia over under 48 i've done some prying max i've heard some reports that jalen hurts is looking good feeling better so that's good i did your job for you uh lane johnson i've heard is just he i heard that he lifted a 325-pound man off the ground today, and that his groin is just fantastic.
Wait, I thought it was his stomach. No, it's thigh.
It's his thigh? Leg, thigh, groin, it's... Stomach? I don't think it's stomach.
I think it's leg. Sounds like hip.
Could be hip. Hip is good.
It's leg. But he lifted a 325- off the ground.
Better than expected. Okay.
This is my pick, by the way. Okay.
The Eagles or the Giants? I'm going to go with the Eagles. Okay.
Now, this might hurt me because I'm going to poke a hole in the Giants. And I know that the Eagles have been talked about, talked about obviously all year.
Didn't play anyone. You know, they're frauds.
There's been some conversation about that. I do not think they're frauds.
But the Giants, I just want to list their wins just so that we can remember this for a second. They beat the Titans a bad Titans team week one.
They beat the Panthers a bad Panthers, a really bad Panthers team week two. That was when the Panthers were like spiraling.
That was Matt Rule Panthers. They beat the Bears the worst team in the league.
They beat the Packers which at the time the Packers were still considered Super Bowl so I'll give them that. Ravens, remember that Ravens game where the Ravens were winning all game and then the Giants were able to come back.
The Giants had that knack. They're a very good football team in terms of keeping it close.
The Jaguars. Remember the Jaguars got stopped at the one-yard line? Yeah.
Okay, so good start. Not going to take anything away from that.
That one-yard line stop reminds me of, I think that was the first Giants Super Bowl that they got with Eli, where I want to say week two, week three, they had a goal line stand just like that. That propelled them.
Yeah. So they started 6-1.
Good team. Since then, so since they were 6-1, their wins have been against the Texans, the Commanders, and the Colts.
Okay. One of these three is not like the others.
Yeah, they also tied the Commanders. Yeah.
In the Commanders game, the Commanders got screwed. We did.
got screwed we did so again i think the giants are good i also think that the vikings weren't good and we they played a perfect game and i think the giants have some issues stopping the run that will be exposed by the eagles and i like a job we we work with a lot of giants fans i think if you're a giantsants fan in your DNA with the way that those two Eli Super Bowls worked out,

they have the confidence of anything can happen, which I don't blame them because anything did happen those years.

I think that most Giants fans right now are happy to be here.

Right.

They've reached the point in the season where they won a playoff game.

That's huge for them.

Nobody expected that.

Now, at this point, they're like, you have to get yourself amped up for this weekend by dropping the anything can happen line. But you know that you've got a flawed team.
You know that you're not a great team just yet. And Brian Dable's a great coach.
Oh, yeah, yeah. You know that maybe in the future, you're going to be able to put something together where you will have expectations next year.
But right now, it's tough to beat a team three times in the same season. It is tough to beat a team three times.
But I'm doing this because I'm pointing out that the 2011-2007 Giants teams, and like I said, most Giants fans, when they start to get – like those teams weren't great and then they got great. Like they played great down the stretch.
They played great football leading up to it and then going to the Super Bowl and winning the Super Bowl. This team, they played great for the first two months.
They were bad. They were objectively bad for the last two months.
They beat the teams they should have beat, and then they went and played the Vikings, and everyone loves them in this game. And they don't really get it.
They got very lucky at the end of a few games, but again, it was really well coached, so it was one of those you make your own luck type situations. But they do occasionally shoot themselves in the foot, and you haven't seen that since Plaxico.
Yeah, so what's your biggest concern in this game? Mine would be Daniel Jones just playing out of his mind because he has been absolutely spectacular. That's not my biggest concern.
Oh. Before I get to that, I also want to add one thing.
We've been talking a lot about point differential in the NFL.fl the giants are also a team in the playoffs that have a negative point differential okay that's so that's fair because we've given this about the vikings now the giants are have a had a worse point differential than the vikings but the vikings also had a much better record than the giants correct so it's kind of to be expected that their point differential be worse but they had the second lowest point differential in the playoffs behind the Bucs who had a

losing record.

So that makes sense.

Okay.

So it sounds like you're giving a lot of bulletin board material to the Giants right now.

Yeah.

If the Giants are listening to this podcast, I'm happy to give them bulletin board.

There's okay.

Well, there's honestly definitely at least one member of the New York Giants that's

listening to this podcast right now.

So I want you to address your comments to that person, that individual. What are the Eagles going to do to him on Saturday? Listen, the Giants are a cute team.
They have this new coach. He's a good coach.
He's a good coach. He's a really, really good coach.
I wouldn't be surprised if the Giants score first tomorrow. Dable has a good script going for the first series.
They come out with a touchdown. Kafka, yeah.
But at the end of the day, the Eagles are just a better football team. That was kind of my point.
They're a better football team. If Jalen Hurts is 80% to 85%, because he's not going to be 100% tomorrow, but I don't think we need it.

He's not.

Why not?

Because he's a little with that line of thinking.

You're right.

He's not going to be.

I love how in Max's mind, it's like a video game

where if you just select Jalen Hurts as a character,

it will tell you that he's 82% exactly healthy.

He should maybe eat a pizza like Ninja Turtles.

Yeah, or walk over a medical kit and then hit himself with But what happened? How do we know if he's 82%? That's my analysis. I've seen some throws of practice this week.
I'm giving 85%. So they weren't good? No, no, no.
100% is the best in the NFL, so 85% is pretty good. I don throwing i think it's you'll know how injured jalen hurts is by the first 15 plays how many times he runs that's really what it will come be like if he's running if they're running the real offense where there's designed runs he's moving in the pocket he's not afraid to take to you know tuck it and go he's he's 100 if it's uh-oh like you we're using the running backs.
We're not using Jalen Hurts. There's an element of the offense that doesn't look the same as it did when they won 13 games or 14 games, then I'll be a little concerned.
That's the only thing I'm scared of this entire game. Okay.
Are you a little bit worried that they beat you by losing 16-22 in Week 18? That was a statement lost by them. That was.
Nah. 22-16.
People are going to hop on. No, but Jake, I said that the Giants beat them 16-22 because they lost.
Wow, people are going to jump all over you, Jake. Yeah, they are.
They are going to jump on you. I don't know, ball.
Again, I understand where Giants fans are coming from because if you win a Super Bowl against the Patriots, you beat Tom Brady twice, and you did it with a 10-6 team and a 9-7 team, that would put in your brain that anything is possible. Like, just get in the dance and magic can happen.
So I get that. I just look at the Giants in the last two months, and they played incredible against the Vikings.
But other than that, they were kind of sputtering down the stretch. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I don't know. I'm talking about I think the Eagles are going to kill me.
Yeah, I think it's going to be a whopping. And I think that people are going to talk themselves into the Giants.
I think Giants are going to get bet, and I think the Eagles are going to kill me. This strikes me as a big-time, raucous environment in Philly.
The link's going to be popping. Should we throw anything at them? Xfinity Live is going to be jumping off.
There's going to be a lot of fan fights, I feel like. Should we throw shit at them, Max? No, no.
Tell Eagles fans. So do not throw anything? Do not.
Do not. What if there's a bad call? The refs are, I mean, that's different.
So you are condoning throwing stuff at the refs? No, no, not throwing, but, you know. What about celebration? After you win, if you win by 14 points and you got a hoagie in your hand.
Well, that's just feeding the fans. And feeding the birds on the field, yeah.
Are we going to have a Philly fan run onto the field and scatter their parents' ashes out of a coffee can this game? No, class. It's going to be pure class.
Okay. We have a whole...
I'm getting ahead of myself. I'm getting ahead of myself.
Okay, so you have the Eagles. Hank, do you have a bet on this game? I do.
Oh. Not.
Oh. Nice.
What do you think about this game, Hank? I mean, it's really just the battle of the two teams I kind of hate the most, so I don't really care. I think the Giants can win, though.
I like the Giants and the Jaguars in the Hungry Dog. Whoa.
Yeah. I do.
All right. I like Dable.
Like, Dable, Patriot, Belichick. DeBall.
DeBall. He's likable.
He's of all the scum in this game. That's the only thing I can really look at and be like, I like that guy.
No, Dable is like, he has quickly become, and obviously we've had him on before, great dude. He's quickly, though, become with his look, the goatee, the sweatshirt.
He's become one of my top five favorite coaches just to watch move on the sidelines. He's got great vibes.
Yeah. Top five coaches you like to watch move on the sidelines.
Okay, pete carroll pete carroll's gotta be on wet outside pete carroll especially i like watching um i like watching mike mccarthy move on the sideline yeah i do but in a different way waddle around uh in like a funny type of way i like i think the ball's in there yeah yeah the ball's in there um vrabes vrabes is a low-key one where it's like his anger just seething out of him. It's like a pot boiling the whole game.
I'd agree with you there. Who gets our last spot? Dan Campbell.
Dan Campbell. That's a good one.
Dan Campbell. Yeah, top five coaches you like to watch move on the sideline.
Top three you don't like to watch move. Todd Bowles, number one.
Cliff. Cliff.
Cliff's up there. Lovey.
He's not coaching anymore, but he's very boring on the sideline. He doesn't do anything.
Gives big-time Dungy vibes on the sideline. I also would honorable mention top five coaches I'd like to watch move on the sideline.
Matt LaFleur, just to see his brain trying to calculate how many field goals his team needs. Yeah.
That's always fun. That's good.
Loki McVay does a lot of really good covering of his mouth with the plate guard. He's always pacing back and forth.
Yeah, jumping around. He's got a lot of energy.
So as much shit as we give him, I kind of like watching him on the plate. And Tomlin, too.
Tomlin usually, like, when he's pointing to the camera, he's got, like, you know. Yeah, Tomlin's good.
Pumping people up. Especially when his clone is sitting right behind him.
Yeah. That's always good.
Yeah. Okay, that was fun.
Quick. Off the top of the head.
Alright. Before we get to...
Are we good with Eagles, Giants? Everyone good? Everyone got their thoughts out? I mean, Andy. Andy.
Oh, we didn't say Andy. No, Andy's got to be on that list.
Any fat guy just counts. Alright.
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That would be the Chevy Silverado. And follow Billy for the Silverado thread from Kansas City.
I bet you there's a lot. And they probably got some great bonus points for any of them that have great tailgates.
When they have it open and it's just like rocking, that would be awesome. Okay.
Sunday. God damn it, do these games rule.
Bills-Bengals. I'm not going to say that the Bengals already won 7-3 because that will trigger Bengals fans, and I do have a future on the Bengals.
Well, you're right because I would say that they won 14-3 because did you see how they were moving the ball on that drive? They were driving, driving you're right they were not going to be stopped they were driving the bangles outscored

the bills so far this year by 11 points there's a negative point differential there max that's a

fact we need to call that out for the bills as well the bills are wearing their blueberry uniforms

they're good they're good in the blueberry uniforms but i just i personally don't like

i don't like them either i like the white and the blue yep or the all white i there's something

about the blueberry that yeah i'm not a big fan is damar hamlin going to be at this game yes

Thank you. I don't like him either.
I like the white and the blue. Yep.
Or the all white. There's something about the blueberry that, yeah, I'm not a big fan.
Is DeMar Hamlin going to be at this game? Yes. I believe so as well.
Yes, DeMar Hamlin, apparently he's been at the facility all week. So my guess is they're planning some elaborate skit where he leads the team onto the field.
I'm told that he's not going to be thrown through a table. But that would be maybe the best moment in sports history.
history yes if they had the balls to do it yes i think this is the rat line of the weekend the bengals plus five and a half over under 48 and a half i think that the bills might destroy them so um my over i'm taking the over in this game okay and that's kind of the defense mechanism that i have whenever our friends play each other. And I can't pick one.
That's fair. I would be wearing the classic double jersey if I could.
The Burrow and Allen. Would that be the Berlin? The Berlin jersey? That's what I would be wearing if I could this weekend.
Aloe. Aloe? Those are two good choices.
Rub some aloe on it. Now I need to make two separate jerseys that have Berlin and al aloe on them yeah but uh i like i like the over so i'm just going to take the over instead of choosing one of them 48 and a half i think there's going to be some points in here even if i if if you put a gun to my head i would say i would bet on the bills so you know what i mean about the five and a half like i think the bengals are just as good as the bills why is the line five and a half it feels like everyone's gonna wake up and say hey you got to take the bengals they're just as good and that it never there's never an easy win i think i think the injuries on the bengals are too much i think what we saw last week from the bills was to use a word that you'll probably hear a million times aberration you know like once every year they teach football guys one big word aberration is is that word.
I think last week was the aberration that we saw. Okay, so I disagree a little bit just in the fact that the Bills have been careless with the ball this year.
This game comes down to can the Bills stop turning the ball over? And then will the Bengals insane playoff luck? That's not a knock. I know that some Bengals fans will get upset.
Like it's better to be lucky than good. They've had some great bounces in the last two years in the playoffs.
Will that stop or will it continue? Like the Bengals make no sense at this point in terms of how they're able to win some of these games. They just keep winning.
And it's probably just Joe Burrow is like, you know, he's the best. They believe that they can win.
Right. That's half the battle.
It absolutely is is and they know they also have a lot of players who can make huge fucking plays like trey hendrickson or sam hubbard or jamar chase like they have dudes that can step up in big moments and they have yeah i'm i'm still thinking that if i had to bet on i would bet the bills and i think that they're going to get out to a lead and then i think the bangles are going to throw throw the ball, score a bunch of points. So over 48 and a half, that's what I'm going with.
So I'll be hoping I'm wrong that the bills are going to destroy them just because I have that Bengals future. But again, it is our two friends.
And I do love Buffalo. And I mean, Buffalo getting to Super Bowl this year would just be the best story.
It really would. It would.
You know what? This game is tailor-made. We're ready to have a hell of a weekend with Kansas City Chiefs fans because there's a good possibility that the Chiefs blow out the Jaguars.
If there's a game that's going to be a blowout, I would say that's probably right up there with any of these. The Chiefs could blow out the Jaguars, and then a lot of Chiefs fans hate us because we spend all of our time sucking Joe Burrow and Josh Allen's dicks but even though we even though we also get criticized for sucking Mahomes's dick but that's that's the disrespect card that you have to go on if you're a Chiefs fan right now it's like they don't respect Patrick Mahomes enough yeah for being great so we could we could find ourselves in a situation where Joe and Josh don't play so great and then uh the Chiefs blow out the jaguars and then next thing you know chiefs fans just have a full week of shitting down our throats yes well i i mean i do appreciate it awl's like playoffs mean it's different for them as well they they basically pour over like if you're a fan of one of these teams you pour over every single thing we say yeah and then like harp on like you said this you said that i like that that's the playoff intensity playoff speed's different yeah on the internet it is like you accidentally say asante samuel's not that good and then he has the best game ever like that happens yeah so it's just i i appreciate awls uh picking apart any slight at their team even if we like even if we also compliment their team as well well maybe sending billy down there as a token of our appreciation yeah it takes him stay or maybe it'll make things worse we're sending our best boy yeah yeah he's on the front lines and if he's a sacrifice he's cannon fodder you can have him yeah if you become part of kansas city and they just take you as your as their own i will not fight isn't that how isn't it wouldn't you want it that way like what if you call us on sunday you're like guys uh this really nice family they they adopted me they said i'm just gonna be here forever now uh they got me a job as a butcher in in the back of one of the uh in one of the butcher shops making some of the best you know barbecue in the world uh so i'm not coming back would you like us to fight for you or no? That's okay.
You can leave me. Okay, we'll let you go.

That's how springtime got started in Greek mythology.

They kidnapped Persephone,

and she had to stay down there half the year.

Maybe Billy just becomes their version of... What's her name?

I think it's Persephone.

Yeah.

Down in...

You're Persephone?

Down in Hades, yeah.

But Kansas City's Hades.

Yeah.

She probably had a great time down there.

Probably got railed out like a motherfucker.

They were tight.

Hank, do you have a bet on this

game?

No. Oh, that's interesting.
So you and I

have both not selected a pick and we all have one game

left. That is interesting.
That's very interesting.

Okay, last game.

This is going to be my game of the year.

Oh, mine too. I'm taking the Cowboys.

Same. Is the

Cowboys your pick? Cowboys my pick. Yeah, no shit.
Game of the year. Cowboys.
I wrote it down. You're like, you don't know what I'm taking the Cowboys.
Same. Is the Cowboys your pick?

Cowboys is my pick.

My line.

No shit.

Game of the year.

I wrote it down.

You don't know what I'm going to pick.

Damn.

No shit.

Yeah.

This is going to be a fun weekend for part of my take because Hank has fully embraced his inner Skip Bayless.

Do you have your starter pack?

I want you in full Cowboys gear.

Oh, yeah.

I have a Dak jersey on the way.

I bought some Jordans yesterday.

Oh, my. Do you want to tweet? I got what? Skip.
Can't lose in these shoes. Yeah.
Yeah. And I need to get jean shorts still and some fake earrings.
Yeah, I was talking to Hank about the fake earrings yesterday because we got to have him at least rocking, like, one little diamond stud. Yeah.
And Hank was like, well, my ears used to be pierced, so the holes are there. I don't think that's how ear piercings work.
But he was like, I can get them repierced. I think you definitely have to get your ears repierced.
You can still see them. I can still feel them.
If I put an earring through, it would go through a lot easier. Okay, so let's do that live on air.
Having had them pierced. Give me a nice earring.
Hank, as much as I would like to just stab you through your ear live on camera, I feel like you've got to to a mall. That's how I pierce them.
His ears are going to get so infected. That's how I pierced them originally.
You should do it. Me and my friends literally just pushed earrings through each other's ears.
What? Oh, my God. What the fuck is wrong? How long did it take? Not long.
It was quick and easy. What did your mom say when you came home? I feel so bad.
I've met your parents. They're wonderful people.
It was a bad time. It was a bad time in the Lockwood house.
That was the least of their problems. Do you have any pictures of you as a rowdy young boy with your ears pierced? We need to just send them an apology and be like, I'm sorry.
We've taken Hank in for the last decade. We understand what you went through.
I actually, I think Hank might have always been a Cowboys fan his entire life. He just didn't know it.
He didn't know it. He was just born in the wrong zip code.
Yeah, because it is, yeah. You live in the troll world.
Did you have two ears pierced? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Hank, you were born a Cowboys fan. Fake ass earrings.
This is like our son discovering his true personality. Yeah.
And he's coming out to us as a Cowboys fan.

Hey, it's 2023.

And we're like, no, absolutely not.

No son of mine.

Yeah.

We need to get him into conversion therapy.

You're not a Cowboys fan.

I might make this my game of the year, and I'm going to take the over.

I love this over.

I love this over so much.

I actually, Hank, you ready for this? I absolutely think the Cowboys can win this game. Yes.
46. 46.
I absolutely think the Cowboys can win this game. I'm very nervous about this game.
I am. So, in fairness to what I talked about with the New York Giants and what they went through at the end of their year and not winning a lot of games and winning against really bad teams the 49ers have also gone through a pretty shitty stretch of teams that they've dominated so since their loss to the chiefs they have won every game since they beat the rams they beat the chargers the cardinals the saintsphins count because the Dolphins did have Tua.
The Bucs, who stink. The Seahawks, the Commanders, the Raiders, the Cardinals.
A lot of teams that weren't very good. And here's what my biggest concern is.
If the Niners get, like, the Niners have been in a lot of, like, games where they've been much better than the other team. This is a game where the talent is pretty similar.
What's that going to look like? You know what I mean? They've been, they've been, they are so talented and they've been able to roll over so many teams. Now they play a team that has as many stars.
That's no pun intended because they are the Cowboys, but I'm a little nervous what that looks like if they go down, if you have to start making some decisions here where it's like crunch time and Brock Purdy. I still think Dak will at some point go back to bad Dak, but it might not be this game.
I think the Niners are going to win, but I'm very nervous. I think the Niners are going to get enough pressure on Dak that he's

going to make some mistakes. Their defense is good enough.

And with the Cowboys, I think

they... Sometimes we talk

about the Cowboys a lot more because they're the Cowboys.

Right. And we talk about their players

and we overhype their players.

I actually do think that this is a very talented

Cowboys team. It is.
So Dak

should be good, right? In theory,

theoretically, Dak Prescott is a good quarterback. C.Dee Lamb is one of the best receivers in the league.
You've got Micah Parsons, who could be a defensive player of the year. Michael Gallup.
I love Michael Gallup. I always think he gets slept on.
Yeah, you've got Tony Pollard. Ezekiel Elliott, who'll be fat next year.
A lot of names. This is the last skinny.
If you're doing a guy off, I actually think that the Cowboys could compete with just about anybody. And then Dan Quinn may be the defensive coordinator of the year.
But Mike McCarthy is a big, fat idiot. It's true.
I need to know what sweatshirt he's going to be wearing. Are they going to let him draw his own sweatshirt again this weekend? They might.
Imagine Cowboys-Eagles-NFC Championship game. I will probably try to fistfight you.
It will get ugly. Is Mike McCarthy going to smash a watermelon before this game? Inquiring minds need to know.
The one thing that I feel is in the 49ers' favor is the Cowboys' defense after they lost Anthony Brown, they haven't really been able to fill that second cornerback role, and their pass defense has been not as great. So they kind of fell off a little bit of a cliff at the end of the year.
That would be like if Brock Purdy is slinging it, if we're rocking out with our Brock out, I feel confident. But you keep saying he's a rookie quarterback, and it makes me nervous.
He is a rookie quarterback. Brock Burt, I've been trying to pump myself up.
This has to end now. Hank's trolling, relentless trolling.
Fact speaking. Not only us, but the AWL.
At some point, you're just going to admit I'm correct. No.
Yeah, if they win the Super Bowl. Yeah.
Right. But that's not going to happen.
And if they don't, you're going to admit that you were a troll this whole time. No.
Yes, there has to be an equal. If they lose this round, then I would be trolling.
But if they make the NFC Championship, that's pretty far. You'll cash out.
Nah. He paused.
He paused. I do think that Mike McCarthy has learned, and he's becoming a little bit self-aware because he made maybe the best coaching move of the week this week because Brett Maher obviously missed four extra points in a row.
Something had to be done. He brought in kicking competition, and it was the most genius piece of kicking competition possible.
He brought in Tristan Viscaino to compete against Brett Maher. Tristan Viscaino missed a shitload of extra points last year.
He stinks. Nice.
This was a great move by McCarthy. The only way that you can help your kicker's confidence improve is by bringing in a much, much worse kicker, a really shitty kicker, and have that guy get beat out by Brett Maher during the week.
Yeah. And then be like, congratulations, Brett.
You got your groove back. You found your swag again.
So he brought in the worst kicker he could find on the open market. A kicker who's so bad that he got cut by the C words.
I almost said the Los Angeles team. And so that guy stinks.
Let Brett Marce see that he's better than at least one other professional kicker. And next thing you know, he's going to go out there and hit all of his action points.
I like that. I think that's a very smart move that McCarthy did.

That is very, very smart.

Yeah, I love this over, though.

I think the Niners can be beat deep,

and I think the same goes for the Cowboys.

So I think points, points, points.

Boys, boys, boys.

The one thing I'm nervous about overall,

and you guys can tell me which one you think,

it doesn't feel like it can't be four home teams winning. It doesn't work like that.
And maybe it will, but it feels like you have to find out which home team is not going to win. And the Cowboys have to be the number one.
And the Cowboys have to be the number one pick of that. Just my point spread alone.
Fuck. Probably.
I still like the Niners. I still like like the niners brock you like a pretty cane it's gonna be this is gonna be a a whopping hank's gonna go home crying this weekend okay good you're gonna go crying home to your mama hank no no be like mom i pierced my ears again yeah if if the cowboys lose you should have to call your mom and tell her that your ears are pierced again okay yeah uh max what do you think about the Cowboys.
Are you nervous? I want the Cowboys lose, you should have to call your mom and tell her that your ears are pierced again. Okay.
Yeah.

Max, what do you think about the Cowboys?

Are you nervous? I want the Cowboys. Oh, yes.
Oh, now I do. He doesn't mean that.
Yeah, he does. I do mean that.
Yeah, he does. Could you imagine a Cowboys-Eagles-NFC championship game? I think more about the Giants, but yeah.
I've already given the verbal okay

for our good friend Roan,

who's been on this show before,

to destroy Hank's life if it's Cowboys-Eagles.

If it's Cowboys-Eagles,

they need to bring back the jail

that was underneath the vet.

Yes.

They need to reopen.

They need to have a FEMA camp set up

outside the link

just for all the arrests that are going to happen.

I want a full.

Also, Roan, when I told... when I told...
Full before kickoff. The last time was the Vikings...
The last time the NFC Championship was against the Vikings, and that was an issue. Yeah.
Vikings fans. Cowboys, Eagles.
It's going to be... It will be a war zone.
It's going to look like Mogadishu out there. Yeah, it is.
I've got to beat the Giants first. We've got to beat the Giants first.
We've got to beat the Giants first. Playoff game.
We've got to beat the Giants. We've got to beat the Giants.
We've got to beat the Giants. I am at like a 10 out of 10 excited, fearful for a Bears playoff game.
I'm like a solid 8 out of 10 for the Eagles with this future because it's like set in on me like oh this would this would be significant hank um when i told ron that he could verbally take you down he said he actually would just hire someone to beat you up that's fine so that's in a goon over yeah we're gonna send goons after you uh you are i'm just looking at you right now i just i cannot believe you done this. I love it because I love content, but as a person...
You're taking this personally. You're taking this personally where you know I'm an analyst.
I look at numbers. I try and find good value.
And the Cowboys before the playoffs was great value. No, I love the content.
I'm like Ravel. Don't get me wrong.
I don't want this feelings aside. I just did this purely for value.
You feel bad for a league, but this is tremendous content. It's tremendous value.
I love the content. I feel bad for Big Cat's fever, but this is tremendous value.
I love the content. But you know what? I'll say what Jake said before you came in here.
I hope you get hit by a bus. No, that is not what I said.
Jake said that. Big Cat said that.
It was a train. He said a train.
I said that. It was just me, Max, and Jake in here.
I was like, I hope Hank gets hit by a bus. Jake goes, whoa! One thing we should note for this game, too, Kyle Shanahan rocking his Legends part of my Take hoodie at the press conference on Wednesday.
Yeah, so that's a great point, Jake. That was really cool to see.
It feels awesome to root for people that support us. Yeah.
There's something really nice about the fact that it's a symbiotic relationship. We want the AWLs, all of them, to do great at whatever job that they've chosen, whatever line of work that they're in.
If they're in a high-pressure situation, we want you guys to succeed. Except for Hank, who wants you to throw up all over your face.
It's great to see Kyle Shan. Kyle Shan is an NFL head coach.
He's an incredible coach. Storied family, all this stuff.
He's wearing our little old podcast. The biggest week of the year for them.
The biggest week of the year for them. So far.
You remember when we started this podcast? It was me, you, and Hank in my living room. Yeah.
And we just had nothing but stars in our eyes, wondering what the future could possibly look like. And now we've got the head coach of one of the best teams in football hosting a playoff game.
If you had told me back when we were sitting in your kitchen in Austin, when we were starting this show, that someday in the future before the divisional round, the head coach of the San Francisco 49ers would be wearing the part of my take sweatshirt. I'd be like, yeah, that makes sense.
We're really talented. But if you had told me that Hank would be rooting against that guy, I'd be like, well, that makes even more sense.
He's a troll fuck face. Yep.
So that means if the 49ers beat the Cowboys, then. No, no, no, no.
Hank, Hank, I'll defend Hank here. Hank is obviously, you know, riding with our boy.
One of the best interviews we've ever had on this show. Dak Prescott.
Correct. Yeah.
Great. I think his last thing that he said to his publicist as he was hanging up was, that went awful.
Those guys are weird. I think he said, they wanted me to talk about porn stars.
You did. I mean, you're horny, Hank.
You showed up on the punk list. That's fine.
Big time. Don't forget.
I know what Hank's doing, and I keep trying to tell myself not to pile on, but it's really fun to pile on Hank. Yeah, it is.
Also, I did get a text message. I will not name who.
Someone who might be competing in the entire divisional round, you can just decide whatever team, that I only shared with PFT, and it was very funny. It was a very funny text message.
Remember, if you guys told me in 2016 in Austin that you guys were going to be name dropping NFL stars. I didn't name drop.
Who did I name drop? He said no. We're doing Michael Wilbo name drop segments.
I'm like, damn, they sold out. Who did I name drop? Wait, who did I name drop? What name did I name drop? Tell me what name I name drop.
Some player. No, I said someone who's involved in the NFL.
It could be a fucking towel boy. You don't? I'm not.
No. We don't name drop on this show.
It could be anyone. It could be a fucking ticket salesman.
We don't name drop on this show. I just hope that our good friends like Joe and Josh play really well this weekend.
And Dak. And Dak.
Yeah. Great friend.
Great friend. Great friend Dak.
Okay. Do we do Mount Rushmore? We should do one.
Dak.

Shut up!

Dynamic Dak. We're not a troll!

I did try to troll Hank out of that bet

last week, but to Hank's credit,

Dak did...

He had, what, like 30 rushing yards? At least.

Incredible. Yeah.

Yeah, no, you were right. You were right on that.
I'll take

Miles Sanders. I'll do Saquon.

I'm gonna go Josh. Okay, Josh.
So, you can bet it in the Barstool Sportsbook. Josh Allen, Christian McCaffrey, Miles Sanders, Saquon, all to go over 50 yards and we'll be boosted.
Love it. Do you want to get spicy with it? What? What if we put in a Boston Scott touchdown too? Oh, wow.
He scored a touchdown in the past. What if we did a Mount Rushmore for four touchdowns? Against the Giants? Oh.
Four guys to score. Oh.
Why don't we do both? Four to score? Why not both? Let's do a Mount Rushmore and a four to score. All right, so we'll put Josh Allen in as the fourth.
For rushing. For rushing.
And then four to score. Boston Scott.
Boston Scott. Dak.
Should we do one each game? Is your pick really Dak or are you trolling? I've never trolled on this show in my life. So Dak's going to score a touchdown? I don't think that's going to happen.
All right, fine. No, no, no.
Okay, all right. Kittle, kiddle, kiddle, kiddle.
All right. Oh, nice, nice.
He loves you, Hank. I love him more than you guys.

I don't know about that.

No, I'm saying I love him more than I love you guys.

Oh, yes.

No, I know that's true.

Yeah, yeah.

That's facts.

Kelsey in the Chiefs game.

Kelsey makes sense.

So Boston's got Kelsey.

Let's – should we go – should we go –

Stephon Diggs didn't score last game. Yeah.
I feel's gonna happen Zeke or Tony Pollard no we already have Kittle let's go should we go Diggs or Dawson Knox Diggs is good alright Diggs alright so check those out Barstool Sportsbook I'm just so fucking excited for football and to shove it down Hank's throat that's separate and. And we're streaming everything.
So watch us all weekend. We're going to be streaming it.
Max, that stream on Saturday night is going to be war. I'm ready.
I'm ready to go to battle. Ready for war? Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Ready to go to battle.
Okay. All right.
Let's get to our wonderful friend, Mark Schlereth, in studio. Great interview with him.
And then we'll finish up with Fyre Fest afterwards. PFT, you got a quick ad? Before we get to Stink, he's brought to you by ZipRecruiter.
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It's ZipRecruiter.com slash PMT, ZipRecruiter.com slash PMT, ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire. And now, here's Mark Schlereth.
Okay, we now welcome on one of our old-time, long-time OG recurring guests. It's been way, way too long, and he's here in studio.
It is Stink. It is Mark Schlereth.
I mean guests it's been way way too long and he's here in studio it is stink it is Mark Schlereth I mean I it's actually I want to apologize on behalf of me and PFT because we were thinking like oh who should we have on for the playoffs like we haven't had Schlereth on in forever that's a bad job by us well I appreciate that yeah yeah because you're you're you're like one of the founding uh like members of the history of this podcast well I appreciate that It Yeah. Because you're one of the founding members of the history of this podcast.

Well, I appreciate that.

It's always fun to be on with you guys. And I watch you guys.

You can't go on to Twitter and not see you guys.

You guys are all over the place, all the social media stuff.

So I keep tabs on you.

Okay.

I've kept tabs on you forever since I coached you in Little League so you know you're like a son to me yeah i appreciate it yeah you're it's funny you brought that up because i was going to wait to talk about that but you were you were my baseball coach and my basketball coach i think you coached me in baseball for three years and it was funny because um i was telling this story the other week you related everything you your main piece of advice would be like, you can't get complacent. You can never get complacent because you know what happens when you get complacent? That's when the Jacksonville Jaguars come in.
And they beat you in the first round of the playoffs when you're favored by 20 points. And then you have to deal with that.
I remember you giving that pep talk to us like five or six times because that really stuck with you when the Jaguars kicked your ass.

It was a bad loss.

Is that still something that you think about every now and again?

You know, yeah, there's no question.

And it's the catalytic event in the lifetime of the Denver Broncos

when I played for them that led us to back-to-back championships.

Like, we would literally be in the huddle in a game going, like two years later, going, hey, you don't want to have that feeling again. Let's get your shit together.
Let's go. And that was literally talked about.
There wasn't a day that passed over the course of the next two years where at some point that game didn't come up. Yeah, I mean, you can't lose to a lefty quarterback it's like Mark Brunel like you can't let Mark Brunel be right exactly he cried on TV the other thing the other thing that that you can outthink yourself as a coaching staff and as a football team like there is something and I talk to teams about this all the time having an identity right knowing who you are it's important to know who you are what you're good at what you're not good at and and the other thing is you can't be perfect like you can't like not everything is the perfect place sometimes you've got and i use this all the time you've got to use that global gym mentality we're better than you and we know it right and you just got to come out there and say this is who we are this is what we do and we're going to whip your ass doing it.
So Global Gym, they beat average Joes, right? No. Okay.
No average. I'm seeing a crack in the mentality there.
Right. No, average Joe.
But they thought they were better. Yeah.
Sometimes average Joe. Well, that's actually what I was wondering is, we saw this past weekend the Bills-Dolphins game, and I'm wondering, the Bills were sloppy.
They weren't, like, they looked sloppy. Right.
Is there, like, is there a element of overlooking your opponent in the playoffs? I know it's the playoffs, but was there a part of it, like, Skylar Thompson, what can he do to us? They're not maybe as focused or feeling as much pressure versus, like, going up against Patrick Mahomes. Was that part of the Jaguars beating you guys? Like, hey, we're better than them.

We're good.

I think it's always part of it.

But again, my big thing was in that game.

So you go back through kind of our ascending

into the upper echelon of the NFL at the time.

Terrell Davis probably averaged 25 27 carries a game like every game that year and in that particular game plan we were all like hey if we get this look we run it but if we don't get this look it was all kind of a check with me scheme right so the bottom line is is the way they played us they checked us out of our running game. Right.
And a lot of times coaches would be like, hey, we can be perfect. I think Terrell Davis had 14 carries in that game for 95 yards, and he had averaged like 27 a game up to that point.
And so the bottom line to me is let's not get too tricky. Let's not just do what we do.
And it's one of those learning curves. The next year, we ran them out of our building.
We put 300 yards rushing on their ass. But it's a painful lesson to have to learn.
For those of you that want to look it up, it was 1996, I think, the 96 season. And it was 30-27 in the divisional round.
You guys were your 14-point favorites. Yeah, oh yeah.
And I actually have printed this out for you. Thank you.
This is our picture of us. That's Coach Stink over there on the right.
If you want to take this back, that's your son Daniel right there. I'm next to him.
And it was a legendary team. Yes, it was a legendary team.
We were good. So there was an MLB player i'm glad player on that there was yeah i actually was ahead of the major league baseball player in the rotation in the pitching rotation right yeah because that was uh prior to daniel's growth spurt that he had yes i am taking that with me because that's a hilarious picture so uh talking about the run game and and what you guys did when you watch kyle shanahan in the niners yeah like like well let's start here is is it like a borderline erotic because I watch it sometimes and I'm like it's so beautiful watch when they right when they when they block correctly and guys are running free in these enormous holes there's nothing like it in football it's prettier than a pass game yeah it's it is incredible and it's funny funny because as I travel around doing what I do now, calling games for Fox,

there is, and I talk to coaches all across the board in the offseason.

I probably talk to 12 coaching staffs, members of coaching staffs.

There was not one team in the NFL that I talked to last offseason

that wasn't studying the Niners run game because it's that good it's that good and there's so many different elements to it that make it good um the the shifts and the motions what they do is you shift and then you motion back and what and how you snap the ball what you end up doing is every time you shift or motion the defense has to adjust because of strength so you're changing the strength just ever so slightly and then all of a sudden you get them to move you know a foot or so one way and then you motion across and you snap it before they can move back and now what I've done is I've created an angle for my offensive lineman to basically you're stealing you know you're stealing 12 inches right that it could be a movie right stealing 12 inches Stealing 12 inches. Right.
So you're stealing 12 inches. Right.
That could be a movie. Right.
Stealing 12 inches. Stealing 12 inches.
Right. So you're stealing that space, and you're creating great angles for tight ends, fullbacks, guards, tackles, and all that stuff.
The other thing they do a phenomenal job of is they will use that motion, use that shift, and use the versatility of personnel.

So they've got a fullback that can play tight end.

He can play the Y tight end, the F tight end.

He can play fullback tight ends.

He can play fullback tight end.

Yeah, they have a – I saw a clip where it was like they're 21 personnel.

The reason why the Niners are so successful is it was on that specific play,

they had Kittle and McCaffrey as tight ends and Debo as their running back. Sure.
It's like, what the fuck? Yeah, and then all of a sudden you got McCaffrey running routes and Debo playing running back, and so you've got all this stuff. But the way they do it, and this will be easy to conceptualize, so let's say that we're running 19 handoff, okay? It's the same play for us 100% of the time.
The concept The concepts to say everything's the same, but all we have to do is change point of attack. Who's got who.
So one time you run 19 and off and Trent Williams is single blocked on the defensive end. The next time you run it, he's in combination with a tight end up to the next level, right? The next time you run it.
Now the tight ends's on the opposite side, but you motion the fullback, and now you're in combination with the fullback. The next time you motion Debo Samuel down, he cracks the defensive end, and you pull around.
So you run the same exact play. It changes not at all for the offense except for one or two guys have to change the way they're blocking assignment at the point of attack yeah but for the defense that one play we can run at six we can have six different blocking assignments in that one area and for the defense it looks like six entirely different plays for us we change one guy's responsibility we run 19 handoff six different ways it doesn't change it changes for one guy the other 10 guys are doing the exact same thing they do on that play every time.
But the defense, it's completely confusing, right? And so it's how they do it. They do a phenomenal job.
They're the best in the business at running the ball, and they just do a great job with it. It is beautiful to watch.
It's poetry in motion when that offensive line, that blocking scheme gets cracking. And what they do is they have, you kind of touched on it, but they make different players essentially play offensive line.
They've got probably like 10 guys that could execute these offensive line blocking schemes. It's gorgeous to watch.
For my money, Trent Williams is my favorite player to watch in the open field when he gets going down down on a screen and you see the defensive back see him coming and he's got that oh shit moment where he just lays him out into the turf. Who's your favorite offensive lineman to watch play? Trent Williams.
Yeah. Trent Williams is like, so I'm at practice.
I'm at a Niners practice.'s throwing foot like he's throwing corner routes to wide receivers you know during practice and he's throwing 40 yard bombs that are just like unbelievable so I ended up talking to one of the coaches about just watching him how much I love watching him go first off the guy is a freak show like athletically he's an absolute freak show like the dude can go down to the basketball court and he's just slamming and you know and doing crazy things athletically like i said he's just throwing dimes out there but kyle was like he's one dude that practice stops like other professional athletes stop what they're doing to watch him practice and he doesn't like he he does not give a shit if he misses a block he's not trying to block you he's trying to murder you yeah like he's literally trying to murder you head off right and so like there's a lot of guys that are afraid well if i miss a block you know they may say something bad on me the broadcast and so i'm gonna sneak off the line of scrimmage, and I'm going to position block. He is literally trying to shorten your neck on every play.
And I love watching him play because some of the things he does, it's not humanly possible, and yet he does it. And his balance, too, is just insane.
He's an incredible athlete. They had him in motion at one point last year.
You remember that? Yeah, against Green Bay. They worked him almost as a tight end.
He got like a nine-yard head start. Not fair.
On a downhill block. Right.
Not fair. You brought up him throwing passes.
How sick would that be to have an offensive lineman throw a touchdown pass? It would be great. That would be big for the big men.
Yeah, it would be huge. Because you've seen him catch him occasionally.
There's no question you could catch him.

But I could see him getting him on the edge,

like line him at fullback and then have a direct snap to him or something.

He's outside off the bootkeep game.

And then all of a sudden, just dime.

If they're up by 30 points against the Cowboys,

I need to see that out of Kyle. Kyle listens to the show.

He was wearing her hoodie the other day.

Kyle, a little bit of coaching advice one-on-one.

You're up 30 points against Hank's Cowboys. just clown the shit out of them just dominate them i i will the on your behalf i will text kyle and i'll give him the play call like this is what we want is what we're looking for in studio ready to go so all right so i want to get i i want to talk about the other playoff games but to talk because you are, you know, Broncos legend, live in Denver.
What the fuck happened this year? Oh, geez. I actually, when I was thinking about, like, we should have stink back on, I was like, man, I just want to hear what from his perspective, from his eyeballs, because we saw from afar, but you're in it.
You know it. You know how it all works.
What happened? You know, interestingly enough, and I was perplexed as anybody about how you go from being a nine-time pro bowler to essentially forgetting how to play football. Yeah.
That's what it essentially looked like. And I think think what we have to I think what you really have to understand is is from a coaching perspective and just from a player's perspective one of the biggest jobs that you have as a coach like every coach can see a juicy matchup right you say man I want to go after that matchup but your real job is to mitigate potential disaster so if I got a juicy matchup but it exposes a dude that can't get the job done you got to just say it's it's more important to protect the guy that I have on my team than going after the juicy matchup and I'll find something else right and I think forever all the narrative out of Seattle was let Russ cook, let Russ cook, let Russ cook.
And he wanted to become a Drew Brees type of control everything, Peyton Manning control everything from behind the line of scrimmage and let me operate. And I think what we really saw more than anything else is Pete Carroll knew what his player could and couldn't do and Pete Carroll basically put his foot down and said uh-uh you ain't doing that we're going to do it the way I want to do it yeah and so I almost feel like like there was a humiliation process that went on during the course of the season where Russell actually had to come to grips with the fact that I'm not quite ready for primetime when it comes to that.
And I'm not saying he's not a good player. I think he can still be a great player.
I don't think when you hear the narrative of, oh, he lost his athleticism, that's baloney. He can still move around.
He can still throw the ball. But you can't operate everything from that.
When all of a sudden you line up formationally and by your formation you dictate the coverage you're going to get and you say here's what we're going to do we're going to throw it to this dude or if that dude ain't open if they take it away start hold the ball scramble around and make something big happen like russell is as good as there's ever been at doing that and i think i think we we took the restrictors off a little bit and the engine blew up. Yeah, I always say, hey, you can get a good meal in a crock pot, right? Let's not burn the kitchen down.
Let's just let it simmer for eight hours. Let Russ order takeout.
That's fine. Yeah, let Russ get takeout.
Yeah, we kind of bought into the whole Hackett-Russ-Wilson combination because we went out there. That's another miss.
We should have talked to you when we were out in Denver this year. I'm sorry.
We were in your backyard. We didn't say hi.
That's okay. We kind of bought into the whole experiment because Nathaniel Hackett, great guy, very friendly guy.
Great dude. Love him.
Great dude. Turns out maybe he was not ready for primetime either coach of all time right of all time great dude great great great listen great dude fantastic the worst coach ever as a human being you couldn't ask for a better person as a head coach the worst the worst maybe ever in any sport maybe but awesome guy all-time guy even better human being than a head coach but By far.
That's what I'll say. By far.
Way better, way better human being. So we bought into it.
We wanted to root for him because he's such a nice dude. Yeah.
Terrible head coach. He didn't work out.
Now your Broncos are looking for another head coach. Report just came out yesterday.
They're letting Condoleezza Rice help to lead the interview process, which I was saying it might be like the whole when they asked Dick Cheney to find George Bush's vice president. Surprise, it's me, Dick Cheney.
Connie might nominate herself. Right.
But if it's not going to be Condoleezza Rice, who would you like to see as the head coach of the next Denver Broncos? I'd love to see Sean Payton become the head coach. Hold on.
How you go wrong with that? One of the things I always say when it comes to head coach, like fear is an important aspect of being a head coach. Yep.
And there is two types of fear. There's the biblical fear.
You know, you hear the fear of the Lord. Old Testament.
Right. Well, the fear of the Lord is really about, it's not fearing, it's not being afraid.
The fear of the Lord is about awesome reverence or respect or respect right so you've got to have reverence and respect that's got to be part of it like you've got to respect your coach and you've got to have reverence for your coach um because he's the guy leading the organization but you need fear like you need literally butt pucker type fear that if you don't get your job done you will get cut cut. You will get benched.
You will get punished. That that's going to happen.
And it's not only for the players, probably more importantly, your coaching staff needs to have fear. If I don't get my guys coached up, if my guys don't perform, I'll lose my job.
And this guy doesn't play that way. And so you've got to have that aspect within your organization.
There's got to be some healthy fear, and there's got to be some punishment involved. If we don't play well, it can't be, hey, you know what, we'll get him next time.
We had a great Wednesday practice. No, there's got to be some consequences for not playing well.
I would imagine it can't be too much fear because it felt like Nathaniel Hackett, great guy coached with too much fear because he was second guessing himself. I'm talking about your players and the assistant coaches need to be afraid of the head coach.
Nathaniel Hackett might have been two nights of the guy and then so everybody, no one feared him. He took all the fear for himself.
He was a fear sponge. I like that, a fear sponge.
I think the other thing that happens to coaches who have never been a head coach before is when you come up through the ranks and you're a quarterback coach or you're an offensive coordinator or whatever, there's a real relationship that you develop with your players. Right.
There's a real closeness to that that you develop. and then i think the issue is that when you become a head coach you basically step away from that to a degree and now all of a sudden you're coaching the coaches you're managing the football team you lose a little of the connectivity to your roster and that that whole friendship thing you can still have a great relationship with your players but there's a kind of delineating line and I think some guys one they don't know how to how to step away from it and they miss that aspect of it so you grow almost too close to your player like like Mike Shanahan and I are are really good friends and mike is a mentor and we spend time together and we study film together and he helps me out with my career and my football knowledge and as a player for mike i knew that if i didn't perform i would get cut right and i could see mike cutting me and right after he cut me i could see him going hey man i'm gonna have want to swing by? Like, oh, yeah, I just cut your ass, and you no longer play for me, but come have a slice of pizza, man.
It'll be great. It's not personal.
It's business. Yeah, it's just the way he is.
And so I think sometimes it's hard for coaches who have always grown up as that coordinator or as that quarterback coach to be able to create that delineating line between them and players. That makes sense.
It actually does, and knowing what we know about Coach Hackett, that seems like it would be a problem for him. Like he wants to be friends with everybody.
Another side of fear that maybe we could talk about is the fear that might be going through a kicker's head right now. Brett Maher for the Cowboys, he's missed now five straight extra points.
He missed four in that one game right but he's missed five extra points going back to the game against the commanders week 18 there's something in his head obviously he's got the yips I don't know what that looks like inside like what what that feels like for him but he's in a bad place right now I can't imagine that he's going to want to talk to his teammates about like what he's going through right what's As far as a locker room goes, have you ever been around a kicker that's just, for whatever reason, sucks? Do you talk to that person? Do you let them be? What would you do if you were in the Cowboys locker room right now? Okay, so the first thing that I would do, and part of it is because I'm a dick, but there's part of it that would be because I want to kind of make the environment okay and laugh a little. I probably have like a bucket of Kingsford charcoal in his locker when he got there on Wednesday, like the first day of practice.
And I'd have a note there with that charcoal that would say, hey, mate, my anniversary is in February. And if you could shove one of these up your ass and make a diamond for my wife it would really would really be helpful to me right so yeah but some yeah lighten the mood lighten the mood a little bit I had this uh I played with a guy by the name of Dave Wyman played linebacker in Denver and Dave was um an intense dude like he always like he walked around you know the guys that just walk around and always look angry like that was Dave always angry and like nobody really felt like it was one of those things you joke around with Dave no he's too intense like he's he may punch in the face right and so we're playing a game the Raiders.
It's a Monday night game. And Dave basically breaks the Adam Apple of, it's called a Lyrnix or Lyrx or whatever it is.
I can't even pronounce it. But he, of Jeff Hostetler was the Raiders quarterback, right? And so he's getting fined and he is like, like livid and upset about this because, you know, like people are calling him dirty and cheap and it was accident or whatever.
And so, of course, what do I do in the training room? We have a little skeleton, one of them little skeletons. Right.
And then I so I grabbed a little skeleton because I'm always the first guy in there. I grabbed a little skeleton and then I go to the equipment room because we had all those little mini helmets.
i grabbed a raiders helmet and i put it on the little skeleton and then i made this plastic neck protector and and i wrote on the neck protector you know the dave wyman you know adam's apple protector type of thing right yeah so i make sure that's in his locker so when he comes up and you know and you could see that he wanted to fight me. But at the same time, he was like he appreciated broke the ice.
And then everybody and then everybody laughed about it and busted his balls about it. And like that is important.
That's how guys show each other. They love each other.
Yeah, it's like the balloon starts to fill up and there's all this tension and no one wants to touch it. But it takes one guy to go over there, pop it.
All of a sudden everything's fine. Yeah, exactly.
So somebody needs to fuck with the kicker is what you're saying. They need to pull a joke up because he's probably more uncomfortable not having his teammates bust his balls about something.
Right, that's exactly right. And then it releases the tension, and hopefully that's enough for you to go out and make a few kicks and not be so uptight about that.
I like it. You mentioned the training room.

How many surgeries did you end up at?

What's your final total?

Well, I had a heart surgery not too long ago.

That wasn't my football related,

but that was my 30th.

So I had 29 that were related to just playing.

Jesus.

That's so many.

So I just had Stink try some Stelblue coffee.

How many cups of coffee do you think he drank a day

before his heart surgery? Six. 20.
Stelblue coffee. How many cups of coffee do you think he drank a day before his heart surgery?

Six.

20.

20 cups of coffee.

That's...

20!

Yeah, it's not a problem.

It's...

And just so we're clear, that didn't...

The coffee drinking didn't make him have to have heart surgery.

No.

The doctor was like, actually, if you weren't drinking all this coffee,

you probably would have been dead 10 years ago.

Yeah, that's remarkable.

That's what they said.

Yeah, exactly.

That's why I drink 15 glasses of wine a day.

All right. That's why I drink 15 glasses of wine a day.
All this coffee has saved your life, is what they say. Yeah, exactly.
It all made sense, though. He said 20.
I was like, okay. So 29 surgeries.
I remember that one of your surgeries had something to do with your retirement because you were about to sign a contract to extend your career, right? Right, right. Like 2000,'t think that you were done yet yeah I actually thought I was gonna play um I thought I was gonna because my last year I was actually playing really well for about three or four games um and my knee got so bad to the point where like the what the reason I retired is my knee was so bad and I I had multiple surgeries that year.
And so I had a surgery. I played a game against Cleveland.
I think I gave up three sacks. I literally couldn't move.
I pretty much sent a dude that nobody's ever heard of to the Pro Bowl that year. Like that game alone sent the guy to the Pro Bowl.
And so I ended up having surgery right after that game that the Monday after that game I come back and um you know I'm I'm working to try to come back the next week and play a Monday night game against the Raiders and um I'm in practice and it's kind of snowing and we had these we we didn't wear jerseys when it got cold and never. We had sweatshirts that we put over our pads.
And it was snowing and it was kind of hard to make out who was who. And I didn't have my glasses at the time because I wore glasses.
And so I'm kind of squinting. And I thought that it was some practice squad kid that was practicing for me.
And'm watching this kid he looks awful and i'm like oh my i'm like one of these you know how you watch somebody you're kind of almost embarrassed you're like oh god this is bad and i'm so i'm watching i'm like oh this kid is not gonna make it this kid can't play right this is awful and uh and so then we and i go whoa rewind that for a second they rewind it one more time and so now i'm squinting i'm looking i'm like oh my god that's me oh geez and at that point i was like shit is it's time yeah i didn't realize i look because you're always the last to realize right and i'm like that's how bad i look like dude this is i'm not helping not helping. I'm hurting us right now.
And so I ended up playing in that game. I played like seven plays, man.
And my knee was so bad. I missed a block.
TD got hit for no gain. I just picked myself up and I limped to the sideline, took my helmet off, and I'm done.
Done. Jeez.
That crazy that was it that's the last time that's the last play i ever played the last play i ever played i basically screwed it up and t and got td hitting the teeth hey you're welcome yeah at least you did it to yourself you said okay i'm done yeah i can recognize it myself because i think a lot of people stick around and they have to have that that conversation where they get cut the last time and that's got to fuck with your mind a little bit. If you're forced into retirement, something you've done for so long, and the last thing that you have in the league is a conversation with somebody being like, hey, you stink, you're fired.
Right. Yeah, it's the old saying, you don't retire from the league, the league retires you.
Right. Yeah.
So walking away, I feel like you set yourself up nicely for your second career here by knowing when it was time. Yeah.
Walking away. Yeah, well, it was pretty easy to see that it was time.
When you can't block people anymore and that's what your job is, it's probably a good time to get out. All right, so segue off that.
The Bengals. Yeah.
They have lost three out of their five starting offensive linemen. Are they – like, I can never tell because sometimes you watch it and Joe Burrow can make up for a lot.
Sure. But you could see actually in the second half against the Ravens, I don't think he took a single five-step drop.
No. And that's what their offense is built on is Jamar Chase and T.
Higgins getting deep and being able to burn guys. So what is the fix or are they just kind of screwed? Yeah, you know what? The easy fix, people will say, well, they've got to run the ball, right? Right.
Put in a tight end. Duh.
Yeah. Yeah, you've got to do that.
Really, it comes down to this. You're going to throw the ball 35 times regardless.
Okay? So let's just, on an average, you're going to throw the ball 35 times. So if you give up seven or eight sacks in a game, everybody will point to the offensive line and say, you suck.
And I'll point to the coach and say, you suck. Right.
You give up seven or eight in a game, you guys suck as a coaching staff. So what you have to say is, okay, we got 35 times we're going to to throw the ball how can we basically squeeze that down to about 10 times when my offensive line is kind of hung out to draw has to really block for an extended period of time right so how do you do that well okay so you you say let's take it 35 and let's just make the math easy so let's say you throw five bubble screen slash swing passes slash swings.
So now we're down, right, to 30. So then you say, okay, let's say we're going to throw five three-step drops where you can come off and actually kind of run.
So now we're down to 25. Now you're going to say there's two types of play action.
There's the run play action, right, where you hand the ball. You make it look like a handoff, right, the bootkeep out the backside, but everybody's just coming off the ball.
It's a real run. So that's the easiest stuff in the world to do.
So we do that five times. Now we're down to 20.
And so then we say, okay, now what about five-step drops that have zero hitches? So I know the five-step drop, like all go is a five-step quick throw so i can actually run block and i'll go right so how many times can we get a five-step drop that doesn't have a hitch so i know that i can treat that five step like a three-step right so now i'm down to now i'm down to what 15 yeah so now i go okay now i need five more out of that so what do i do okay let's go let's go play pass. Now, play pass is a different type of play action.
Play pass is not the run action. It's the actual seven-step drop back.
But we keep a running back in on one side and a tight end on the other side. We flag the football.
We show that. And now we're running two-man or three-man routes.
So now all of a sudden I've gotten that down to ten times where my offensive line has got to hold up. And you can't hold up in those 10 times and you really suck yeah like but they might like they might like I feel bad for the Bengals because they did so let's say we give up that we give up we give up three sacks we can survive that right we can survive that but I can't what I can't do is give you I can't give you 17 to 20 legitimate pass rush opportunities i gotta cut that down to seven eight nine right yeah and so if you can do that as a coaching staff um then you can have success now if you get down by you get down by 10 you get down by you know 17 then you're screwed because you're gonna have to you're gonna have to basically throw it a bunch it also just speaks to joe burrow's like greatness because the bengals to their credit last year they go to the super bowl their offensive line was their biggest weakness they addressed it in the offseason they they put resources into it guys got injured alex kappa got injured leo collins got injured i think it's it's crazy because if because if you had to pick one guy who's behind a bad offensive line, it might be Joe Burrow because there's something about him.
He has no fear. He will stand in there until the very last second.
He is legit all balls. Yeah, all balls.
All balls. I marvel.
We had a reunion, Super Bowl XXVI reunion. We did it on Zoom.
Joe Gibbs spoke. We probably had 35 guys.
So you would have loved it. I should have invited you.
Yeah. It's messed up.
Yeah, you were. You were just a fan at the time.
But now you're... I was probably two years old.
Right. Now that you're part of the team.
Oh, the 91? Yeah, 91. Or as it says in the back of my jacket the 1992 super bowl right yeah yeah 91 season yeah well so but but joe gibbs got on the zoom he was talking about it do you know that we played 19 games on the way to a world championship we gave up nine sacks on the season jesus nine total sacks on the season that's what burrowrow took in the Titan game.
And the Titan. And that's what Joe was referring

to. He's like, this kid took

nine sacks in that game because we gave up

nine and 19 in

that season. That's crazy.

And the fact that he stands there

and just takes it in the teeth.

I know. All balls.

It really is insane. He's all balls, man.

Something is wrong with his

brain in a good way where he just doesn't have the

fear element of his brain because

you'll see the pass rush coming and he'll just Thank you. He's insane.
Yeah, he's all balls, man. Something is wrong with his brain in a good way

where he just doesn't have the fear element of his brain

because you'll see the pass rush coming,

and he'll just be like,

if I can get another half a second out of this,

I can get Jamar Chase will be open.

Yeah, it's crazy.

So in that game, who do you like, Bills or Bengals?

Did you call both?

I did not call.

I've called Bills games and Bengals games, but I didn't call Bills, I didn't call either of those teams this year. Yeah, this year I did not.
I like the Bills in this particular game. I mean, I do think, you know, I think that Josh Allen, sometimes athleticism, we call it, we've always called it arm arrogance.
That can get you in trouble a little bit. I also think that there's not enough talked about, and I don't want to be the guy who's like, because, you know, we're friends with Josh, so we're very biased towards him.
We love Joe, too. But the UCL injury that he got against the Jets halfway through the season, his throws have been a little bit, like, there's been a few times a game where maybe it's like he doesn't – he's not trusting – or he's trying to make a throw and his arm can't fully make the throw.
Yeah, can't catch up to it or something. Yeah, it's like there's that little bit, and that's where some of these mistakes are coming from, and he has been playing with that injury for the rest of the year.
Right. Well, when you're used to being able – like when you're used to being able to fit it in any window you want to fit it in, right?

And you're just going, it's like DeGrom throwing 103, right?

Just let it eat.

Right.

And you're like, I'm going to just let this thing eat.

And all of a sudden.

You take 10% off.

Say he's 10% injured.

That could be the difference in an interception again.

Right.

Especially, and I always say, I think one of the biggest things, and I've talked to a lot of young quarterbacks about this, just the biggest difference between college and professional football. And the biggest kind of takeaway is what is completely covered in college is wide open in the NFL.
So you would look at it in college, in the college games, say I can't make that throw because it's covered. And in the pros, you're like, what are you doing? That's a wide-open throw.
And to change your mindset that way, to go that's wide open. Now, for Josh, it's even a tighter window because he's got so much arm talent.
So you take a little bit, like you said, even 10%, and you're used to making that throw, and that 10% lack of velocity or whatever is the difference between somebody tipping it.

And, you know, most interceptions happen off the tips. Anyhow, like those are the things that end up happening to you.
So now you have to be a little you've got to be aware of that. You've got to be judicious.
I became a much better football player late in my career as I lost athleticism

because I came to the

realization I can no longer count on athleticism to get me out of trouble.

Right.

So essentially, I can't get myself into trouble.

Right, right.

I just got to be that much smarter in the way I approach the game.

You also got better at cheating as you got older.

You learned all the tricks.

Yes.

That's what the Bengals need to do.

They need to just, their offensive line should just cheat as much as they can this week. They can't call it on every play.
Listen, I'm not going to disagree on anything. As a matter of fact, you'll love this.
So, Russ Grimm, original hog. Are you a hog, by the way? Yes.
But I'm on the second. Second generation.
Second generation. Yeah, 2.0.
But Russ, when I was a young player and I was playing at that point, Russ was like he'd start the first four games of the year, and then Raleigh McKenzie would come in for him because Russ was just beat to a pulp from all the counters that he ran. So I'll never forget, I'm coming off the field, and Russ was like, hey, man, hey, man, let me ask you a question.
I was like, yeah. He goes, where was the umpire or whatever? Where is he lined up? I'm like, what? Where is he lined up? What are you talking about? He goes, when you break the huddle, don't you find where the umpire? I'm like, no.
Why would I look? He goes, dude, what are you, an idiot? You got to find that guy. I'm like, well, why? He goes, because if he's outside of you, you can yank a dude down with your inside hand.
If he's inside, you can yank a dude down with your outside hand. He goes, you've got to start thinking.
And it was one of those situations. Now, a lot of people don't know, Russ Grimm, Hall of Fame offensive guard, he was also our emergency quarterback.
That's crazy. Like, Russ was the smartest player I've ever played with.

But he would, literally, he would study stuff like that so that he knew where he could get an edge at all times.

That's awesome.

And as you grow and you get older, and obviously kind of the inventions

that are the necessities, the mother of invention,

like as you start to lose some athleticism, you start to understand, okay, where can I cheat this thing? Where can I get an advantage? How can I use this from a positioning standpoint? Or how can I funnel a dude to funnel him into traffic so he can't... You start to learn all the little tricks.
Yeah. Another great offensive line, the Eagles this year.
So they're dealing with some injuries, but it seems like, like i don't know max has reported exclusively that they're getting healthy is that right max max is a big eagles guy uh they're fine i'm hearing great reports on lane johnson and in that practice okay so first reported by max they're fine they'll be fine this weekend um it seems like they should just stomp the giants but there's something about the giants they're really well coached their offense is fun to watch it seems like they run just stomp the Giants, but there's something about the Giants that are really well coached. Their offense is fun to watch.
It seems like they run a Chiefs-style offense with the personnel that they have, and they've gotten the most out of the talent that they have. What do the Giants need to do to be able to beat the Eagles this weekend? Well, I think, you know, obviously quarterback run is a big part of what they're doing with Daniel Jones, and the coaching is so important.
I think Brian Dable's done a great job of basically saying, hey, here's what Daniel Jones can do and here's what he can't do, and let's make sure we mitigate what he can't do and let's put him in a position to have some success. Let's use – because they've been trying to make him a drop-back thrower forever.
Let's face it, he's gotten better at it, but that's not what he does. So now they're not asking him to do as much of that stuff.
So that's the number one thing that I think he's done a great job with. And then I think, and I talked to Wink Martindale, their defensive coordinator, about this a couple of years ago.
I'm calling a game when he was the coordinator in Baltimore. And against a prominent NFL quarterback who had great athleticism, I go, well, what's the game plan? You know, we're close enough to where he'd go, okay, this is what I want to do.
He'd be like, I'm going to make this guy throw it 40 times. And you're like, really? Yeah.
So I'm going to line up five downs. I'm going to line up with eight guys in the box at all times.
And I'm going to run blitz. I'm going to try to get them behind the chains.
But I want this guy to throw it 40 times because I know they can run it. And if we let them run it and let them set up their play action and let them have the quarterback run and let them do all these things, we'll get blown out of this game.
But if I can eliminate all that and make this guy beat us throwing the ball now, Jalen Hurts has proven that he can throw the ball. There's no question.
He's got good guys to throw to. Great guys to throw to.
But you are so busy trying to take away their run game because their run game is so good. One, some teams are big and strong.
Some teams are fast and athletic. They're big, strong, fast, and athletic.
I think the Eagles are phenomenal. And Lane Johnson's a great player.
Jason Kelsey is one of the funnest guys in the NFL to watch. They're really good at everything, but they can run the power, just a straight, you know, punch you in the mouth, downhill power game.
They can run the athletic kind of pin and pull, get outside on the edges, pull the center, do all that stuff. They can beat you that way.
They've got the quarterback run game as well, the RPO game. So they've got everything from a run standpoint.
So you're so busy getting shell-shocked by that, then all of a sudden their play action off of that stuff, they're really hard to defend. So if they can get it to the point where they just shut down the run, sell out to do that.
I like your chances with a quarterback who really has only played one game in the last month who's coming off a shoulder injury saying, dude, for the Giants, if you beat us and you beat us throwing it on us a bunch, then tip my cap and say you won, good job, you guys got us. But I think the only way you're going to beat them is to make Jalen Hurts beat you.
And he may still beat you. Yeah, right, right.
But I think it gives you the best chance to win. And Boston Scott's probably going to have three touchdowns.
He just always seems to score against the Giants. He is a Giants killer, isn't he? So this is like if Dexter Lawrence can plug up every hole this game and then Jalen Hurts has an off day throwing the ball, that's the recipe.
I still would take what you say makes sense, but having A.J. Brown and Devontae Smith out there, it's scary.
Listen, I think it'll be a close game. I still take the Eagles.
But I'm just giving you a scenario of how it could happen. How they could do it most likely.
Listen to you describe the Eagles run game. Max was

just over there nodding his head the whole time.

I mean, that was unbelievable. That was

just a great description of the birds.

You got 12 inches to hide over there.

Yes. So, alright, last game

that we didn't talk about, Chiefs-Jaguars,

I have a question actually about last weekend

when you're watching the Jaguars-Chargers.

How mad do you get being

an offensive lineman watching the Chargers not be able to run the ball when they have a 27-0 lead I think that I think the stat was they ran it seven times yeah seven design plays in the second half for seven yards and you're like because I I was saying on Monday's show it's a win for for meatball brains like us who are like yeah you still got to run the ball because you know there's a lot of people out there who think that hey uh well it's better to pass on first and i get all the analytics behind it but you know like as an offensive lineman if you don't let those guys fire off the line and run the ball like it's it's it's hard to run the ball when you need to i yeah i always look at running the ball is the run of the ball is not popping a 19 yard draw on or down 12. Like, I don't give a shit about that, right? Running the ball is when it's third down and three, can we convert? When it's the red zone.
I get people all the time tell me, hey, we had eight guys in the box, so we didn't want to bang our heads against the wall. Well, what happens when you get in the red zone? Right.
Because you always have eight or nine guys in the box in the red zone because the safety's got their heels at eight yards so what the hell is the difference like you have to learn how to run it in those situations so yeah like like you had seven you're up 27 to nothing your running backs got seven carries yeah right uh travis etn at 20 down 27 nothing got 14 right so like like don't don't give me that that issue i had one person said well you know they were only getting one yard of carry and i said well let me ask you a question okay they only got one yard of carry i get that i go how many yards do you get on an incomplete pass yeah oh zero yeah right and then an incomplete pass takes about seven seconds off the clock a run if you use the clock properly will take down let's say you know it's of the 40 second clock let's say you snap it at at with five seconds left right so you've used 35 seconds and the run takes five seconds so that's 40 seconds versus seven seconds right right and you do that enough times it goes back to this yeah i've picked up some consulting jobs just run game consulting jobs over the years and um and it goes back to a conversation I have with a coach about running the ball and this particular coach says to me hey listen man I want to run the ball better and so I said to him do you and he goes yeah like I really want to run the ball better and I want to you know pick your brain about the zone running game the wide zone i go so he goes i really want us to run but i said do you and he goes yeah and i go but do you really and he goes yeah i want to run the ball better i go okay let me tell you what i hate about you this is and this is like this is a consulting job this is yeah i've been hired so let me tell you what i hate about you he goes okay here we go And I go, you. This is, and this is like, this is a consulting job.
This is, yeah, I've been hired. So let me tell you what I hate about you.
He goes, okay, here we go. And I go the, you'll run it three times in a row and you'll get two yards of carry and you'll throw your arms up near you go, fuck it.
We can't run the ball. Right.
I go, but you'll throw seven incompletions in a row and you don't think twice about it. Right.
And I'm like, what, what, like what's wrong with you? And so I always look at it from a perspective of, to me, what's the hardest job there is. Well, to me, playing offensive line is the hardest job there is on a football team.
I mean, one, every time you're matched up, you're matched up against a superior athlete. And you're expected to win 100% of the battles.
and you give up give up one play a tackle for loss or you give up a sack in a critical situation you're a piece of shit and that guy goes to the pro bowl that you just gave it up to right and you may kick his ass for 64 plays in a row you give up the one play and so like it's a really hard it's a really hard job And then the five of you have to be so connected to actually play well together.

And so I always look at it from a perspective of, one, again, mitigating potential disaster.

What's the hardest job?

Well, the hardest job is the job the five guys do up front together.

So we need to make sure that we do the best job we can of supporting those guys and giving them the best opportunity at success how do you do that well you you got to run the ball right right you you got to have the short passing game you got to let those guys come off and and and so i always have that perspective when it comes to coaching and and that's what i try to to sell to the organizations that i work yeah you're right there's a that, yeah, they just give up. And it's like I love watching a football game when an offensive line or a team just starts leaning on them.
And it's like it doesn't work in the first quarter, but come the fourth quarter, these runs that were two-yard runs are now six-yard runs. And it's like that's why you run the ball.
But why do offensive coordinators do it? Because that doesn't get them head coaching jobs, right? Yeah. Like if you develop a young quarterback and you throw it all over for 300 yards and four touchdowns, you know what? That's like Viagra to 80-year-old owners.
They can't get enough of that. So that's what they look for.
So a lot of coordinators do it almost backwards. Like, hey, man, if I can create this, that gives me a better leg up to get that job, as opposed to saying, hey, man, this is the best way to win.
Right. On a consistent basis.
Yeah. I'm disgusted by that stat that you said, that Los Angeles had seven runs in the second half, 14 to the Jaguars, who were down by, what, 27 points? Yeah.
I think they passed the ball 25 times, and there were eight runs total. One wasn't a design.
One was a quarterback. One was a quarterback.
Yeah, yeah. Seven rushes to their running backs.
They had – so Eckler had five, and then Kelly had two. Yeah.
Damn. It's crazy.
So Chiefs-Jaguars, you think – I mean, I know the Jaguars are – They've got a history of doing this sort of thing, going on their own divisional round. Yeah, it goes back to my day.
It does feel. The history of the Jaguars is very funny.
It feels like they go stretches where they're the worst team, and then they'll have little stretches where it's like they pop up and they'll make a crazy run. They did that.
They went to the AFC Championship game when they beat you. They went to the AFC Championship game against the Titans of the year.
The Titans went to the Super Bowl. They went against the Patriots.
They'll have these little moments where people kind of discount them and they make these runs. I mean, the Chiefs are just – I feel like we forgot how good the Chiefs were because they make it seem so routine.
Yeah, but the Chiefs, especially toward the end of the season because at the end of the, they were playing teams that weren't as good as them. They were like a cat on the porch playing with a half-dead mouse.
That's what the Chiefs were doing, right? And so that's kind of how I looked at them. And so I was like, there's some boredom there.
Andy Reid is 7-1 in the playoffs coming off a bye week in the divisional round. That's crazy.
I think he's 27-4 all time coming off a bye week. His team is ready.
They're a good team. Kansas City is one of the toughest places in the National Football League to play.
They're a really good team. Like, do I give Jacksonville a puncher's chance? Yeah.
But I think one of the things that I would say, hey, this is a matchup plus for the Jacksonville Jaguars. I think their defensive line is incredibly physical.
I think they can control a lot of scrimmage. They shut down the run.
Kansas City doesn't care. Like, Andy Reid doesn't want to run the ball.
He really doesn't. So Andyy'll look at that and go hey we'll we'll develop a few screens well you know every now and then we'll pop a draw who gives a rip uh you know we'll we'll we'll control the middle of football field with travis kelsey and i've got you know i've got the guy i've got playing quarterback is a unicorn like he's a freak show right so i like could like, could they win? Yeah.
Will they?

Probably not.

Yeah.

So, all right. So, my last question.
This has been awesome catching up with you. I need an update on your dad, who is just a beast.
Poolside is still 83 years old. What is he benching? Oh, I bet you he could get, like, I bet you he could get a couple reps with 225.
83 years old, 225. Yeah.
Like, St tweet about it or post. We've had him on when he's talked about it.
His dad is just a man's man through and through. Yeah, there's no question.
He's a freak of nature. By the way, he actually just retired.
Oh, at 83. Good for him.
Yeah, at farm wow 56 years he just retired and and so my mom passed away last year from covid and so um she that was one thing we i called the game in pittsburgh jumped on a plane and flew up to alaska um got to say my goodbyes and um and one of the things she she told my dad why like why she would not leave the hospital she's gonna die in there and we all knew it but she told my dad please retire i want you to find because he would never he just wouldn't do it yeah and so my day it was one of the coolest things um and not to get too emotional but one one of the coolest things I've ever seen is watching my father, who had been taken care of by my mother for 50-plus years, watching those roles reverse. And literally, it's like watching the metamorphosis of going from caterpillar to butterfly.
Like my father went from always being taken care of to being the primary caregiver and it's one of the most beautiful things i've ever got a witness in my lifetime yeah and um he's he's still he's freaking awesome yeah like the dude is like he'll send a picture he goes don't show your wife this and he's on a freaking he's on a ladder on top of, he's got one of these, he's got a front end loader up in Alaska.

He's like got the front end loader all the way risen. And then he's on top of a ladder on the front end loader at 83 years old fixing a light bulb in this big lamp we have in the front of our house.
And he's like, hey, I got the ladder tied pretty tight and the bucket of the front end loader should be fine. I'm like, dude, would you freaking call somebody to come? Now I got to change this light bulb.
You're like, oh, Lord have mercy, dude. But I guarantee my father is going to die in that.
he'll die in that like shoveling snow in his front end loader and they'll find him like in three days like no nobody's heard from somebody go check on him and he'll just have a big grin on his face frozen solid in alaska in his front end loader and i'll be like it'll be one of those things for me i'll be like man He went the way he wanted to go. Just going to work.
Yeah, just working. That's awesome.

Yeah.

Don't show your wife this. Yeah, I'm not going to.
Yeah, I'm like, I'm not. My wife would get a ticket and fly up there and give him a verbal scolding.
285 and 83. What a beast.
What an absolute monster. Well, Stink, this has been awesome, man.
Yeah, thank you it again before, you know, not let time pass again. But, yeah, you're the man.
Have you ever hung out with a guy, what's his name? Jake Plummer. Oh, yeah.
Jake Plummer, have you been to his mushroom farm? No, I have not been to Jake's mushroom farm. We live to be 150.
Next time we're in Denver, we got to get the whole band together. We were there for Grit Week last year and spent about, I don't know, three hours at his mushroom farm.
Jake is a piece of work. Awesome guy.
Awesome. Really interesting what he's up to out there.
Next time we're out there, we'll do a podcast together. That would be great.
Love to. Yeah.
All right. Well, thanks so much, Mark.
We appreciate it and excited for some football. All right.
Sounds good. Yeah, me too.
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My PFTs this weekend, the PFTs, I'm still working it through, but I'm leaning pretty heavily. I think I'm going to do the birds.
I think I'm going to tease it down five points. Eagles two and a half, and I'm also going to go over 43 points total in that game.
I like it. Birds, easy, and with the PF teaser, it's going to be a little bit easier.

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Must be 21 or over. Gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER.
1-800-GAMBLER, you have to to get a cat. And this morning he tweeted out the UCF game from that year where they had a layup to win the game.
I think it was two layups. Yeah, a layup and a putback.
And it hit, like, every part of the rim, and that put me in a bad place. I was so upset.
I was so mad. Yeah, it was tweeted I saw from a slander Duke account that was like, I can't believe Coach K had this team and almost lost before the Sweet 16.
And I forgot how close it really was. So close.
And that's why, even though you're a scumbag piece of shit and I hope you get hit by a bus, that's what Jake said, not me, I do love that you have found your way into being a Cowboys fan because it does make great content. It makes the best moments.
Like, the best moments of this show are when we have natural adversarial positions. Yeah, I'm cooking up a sick profile picture, so check that out.
I can't wait. My FireFest, nothing.
You got to also put on tweet notifications to Skip and Will Kane and just respond to all their tweets. You said it, Skip.
Yeah, let's go, boys. Love your new show on FS1.
LeBron, he's a Cowboys fan too, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah, you and LeBron.
That's great. Hell yeah.
You don't mean that. No, he's a fan of Pat Bev's show, so we're cool, kind of.
Not really. Nothing too serious in the Fyre Fest world.
I did. I was.
I'm about to destroy your legs. Billy's going to destroy my legs.
I'm looking forward to that. Squamageddon.
There was two days ago I was going to the bathroom. There was a female woman in front of me that works here walking out of the building.
Female woman.

She was wearing glasses.

And I thought it was someone that I knew.

I was like, oh, see you later.

Have a good one.

And I said her name, Tara.

Thought it was Tara. She turned around.

Was not her.

I'd never met this woman in my life.

But I guess her name is like Cara or something close to Tara because she turned around.

I was like, oh, see you later.

And then I was walking in the bathroom, and I walked in the bathroom.

I was like, oh, my God, that was so awkward.

But shout out to her.

She works here?

Yeah.

You don't know her name?

I do now.

I know everyone's name.

We have several female girls that work here.

Yeah.

Some of the finest women work here.

Women.

We got binders filled with female chicks.

But, yeah, it was just, you know.

Also, in hindsight... Yeah.
Some of the finest women work here. Women.
We got binders filled with female chicks. But yeah, it was just, you know, also.
Yeah. For anyone who says that Barstool's misogynistic, Hank almost got that woman's name right.
Yeah. And it's a company policy.
If you're walking behind a woman and you say the wrong name, they turn around. They're like, you just lost.
Guess that ass. It was, yeah.
I mean, again, it wasn't that crazy. No, I mean, that sucks.
That's one of those moments where you want to shrink. And it was because I did not have to say anything.
She was in front of me. It wasn't like I was walking by her, but we're friends.
I was like, oh, see you later. This is the last time Hank does something polite.
He gets punished. This is how you become an incel.
You're just trying to be nice to a woman. There's no room in this world for nice guys like Hank.
All right, PFT. My Fire Fest of the week is I've become a Photoshop guy.
It's something that I used to make fun of. All the replies underneath an an Adam Schefter tweet would just be like these really intricate photoshops of players that people wanted to have on their teams and it's really odd fan behavior.
So then I started doing the just drawings on Instagram on the stories to just do my own versions of the photoshops. But we've got a great graphics guy now, Shane.
Shout out Shane. He's a CWords fan.
And I just asked him if he could make me lamar jackson in commander's gear photoshops and he's been sending me two to three every single day and i just have a surplus of lamar jackson commander's photoshops that i'm just putting online i dm'd one to lamar let me see if he replied to it yet uh to be like hey lamar is this real i saw this online uh so i've just been i've been putting out a shitload of actual photoshops that are good like good quality that that now i've just become an unironic photoshop guy and it's it's the old saying like you either die a meme or you live long enough to become a brand and now i'm at this point where like this is part of my brand is being the strange psychopathic fan good at photoshop like it. So I don't think I can turn back.

No, no, no.

This is you now.

Yeah.

And really, this is the highlight of my offseason as Commanders fans,

just being like, imagine if this really good player was on your team.

Right.

And then he gives me a half second of joy,

and then I go back to my cruel reality.

It is fun to look at Photoshop of players on your team.

You want me to?

You got any requests?

Yeah. Give me Devontae Adams in a Bears uniform.

Okay, all right.

Let's take one.

I'd like to tweet that out.

Devontae Adams, Bears.

Yep.

Devontae Adams, Bears.

DeAndre Hopkins, Patriots.

God damn it.

Can we get Aaron Rodgers, Jets?

Yeah, yeah, I got you.

That'd be pretty dope.

I got you.

Want that guy?

It's going to cost you.

He stinks.

That'd give me a high.

Yeah?

Contact high being around. I say this like I could just text Shane too.
Yeah, no. I'll do it.
I'll do it. Even my middle man.
I don't want to get caught with Photoshop. No.
I don't know how I got this. You don't want to touch it.
You don't want to possess that. Yeah, yeah.
All right. My Fire Fest.
It's an ongoing story, but I need any parents out there. I need some help because.
We can help. Okay, you can help.
I've told this story about how my son just gets up randomly and just like, hey, time to get up. He now has followed the rules that it's not time to get up, but I think I'm too nice to my son and he just wants to hang out.
Last night, he got up at 1 in the morning. I woke up.
He was just sitting next to my bed. Wasn't saying anything.
Just sitting there. I was like, what are you doing? He's like, I wanted to see you.
Did it again at 5 in the morning. I think I got to start negging him.
Or maybe that will actually make him like me more. Oh, he's got a Spider-Man.
But he just wants to hang. I got a dumb question, and this will expose me as not being a father.
Can't you just lock him in his room? I thought about that, but I think he'll freak out. And I actually said, I'm like, I'm going to lock the door tonight.
He's like, no. So I think that would probably cause.
I would just lock him up. Yeah.
Teach him that all the snacks are unattended in the middle of the night. I don't want him going down the stairs in the middle of the night.
That would probably be bad. If you flex it, you get a staircase.
When I was literally that age, I realized that if I woke up in the middle of the night, my parents would get pissed if I went to their bedroom. But I realized all of the cookies and everything were totally unattended.
Okay, maybe that's actually not a bad idea, Billy. Maybe just put a bag of cookies in his room.
Eat them. Because I would rather that than getting...
He just wants to hang out in the middle of the night. Every night.
Just sit... I mean, waking up and having a child just sitting next to you on the floor.
And he wasn't even saying anything. He moves like a fucking ninja.
I caught him the other day doing this at 3 in the morning. I heard, like, something.
I woke up. I went to the door.
He was sitting next to the door, slowly opening the door with his hands. So he's, like, ninja moves.
He knows that he's not supposed to wake you up yeah so um i think i gotta just start being mean to him because he's just he wants to hang all the time i like what just be like nah dude we don't we're not we're not boys anymore don't call me don't text yeah i think just i'm with pft yeah lock him up lock him up lock him up he Lock him up. He's got to learn.
That will probably be a problem, but I might try it. Yeah.
I mean, just do it once. Yeah.
See what he does. Lock him up.
Lock him up. Maybe he likes it.
I don't think so. I don't think he'll like that.
But yeah, maybe. Or maybe I just lock my door.
You know what's crazy? It's like if you were to give me the option of just getting locked in my room for a day right now, that'd be fucking sweet. Yeah, he's got some toys in there.
Yeah, if you're locked in your own room

with all your favorite toys and a television,

I would love to get locked up for a day.

That's the crux of the issue.

I need to become less fun than his toys.

Yeah.

He has toys in there, and he's like,

I'd rather hang out with Dad.

Or you put one in the morning.

You move your room downstairs,

and you say you're not allowed to go downstairs.

Yeah, maybe.

I don't know.

Bro, can I hit you with something deep?

Yeah.

What if it's like he goes off to college one day?

I wish he was sleeping on my floor.

Wish that he was waking you up.

Yeah, no, I think there'll be a lot of things I'll miss when he goes off to college.

I don't think waking up multiple times in the middle of the night, having a three-and-a-half-year-old sitting right next to my bed and scaring the fucking shit out of me will be one of those things I miss. But you might be right.
You might be right. All right, Billy, you're a fire fest.
I got into this bowling competition. Yeah.
I mean, all-time Billy L. Spent the whole season being like, yo, this time I'm not going to get the punishment.
This one's going to suck. And then just totally agree to it.
And I'm ready, but it's going to be one of those things where after this moment, I'm not going to deal with it until the day comes. And then I'll deal with it then.
It is going to make the bowling competition so much more fun, just watching you get mad that Jake and Max are better bowlers than you. Oh, I know that 100%.
Right, but you still, I know you. I'm going to get pissed at them.
Yeah, you're going to get pissed. But if you throw it harder than them, you might be able to get better.
I know what's going to happen, and that's Jake is going to get out there and just absolutely kick the shit out of Billy, and Billy's going to just rage. Not a real sport.
Rage. You're going to hate it.
Yeah. You're going to lose this.
You're probably going to do something really dumb during the live stream because you're so mad that Jake's a better athlete. You give a gigantic ball that's heavy as fuck in my hand.
Anything can happen. I'm very excited for this.
And you only now, Jake only has, it actually worked out so perfectly that Jake has barely an edge and Billy got at it. Mm-hmm.
Because it's all. And PFT, I will not slow play the hot dogs, but I'm not going to force myself to eat them very fast.
I might get footlongs. Really quick, do I get any of those hot dogs? I'm 300? No, no, no.
I'll eat hot dogs for you. PFT's eating hot dogs for Jake.
You just have to do a 270? 270. But of course, the way it's going to work is you're not at 270 until we finish the six hot dogs.
Yeah. So you'll be at like you know for maybe an hour you'll be at 290.
Max is also guaranteed he'd be done in 60 minutes which I don't Hank has guaranteed that on my behalf but it will also happen. Oh.
Sounds like he guaranteed it. Max has it in him.
Yeah. Also, we haven't mentioned it, but shout out the headgear that Billy and Max are wearing right now.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Brand new winter hats out right now. Those things are sick.
10 a.m. Friday morning, so it could be by the time you're listening.
I've been taking this home. It's actually super comfortable.
And what does taking it home have to... You're wearing it right now.
I know but There was one here a couple days ago And I took it home And then you realized it was super comfortable Then I realized No we need to sell them today And I took Jake's So I'm wearing Jake's right now They are good hats You guys both look awesome in them Also for the bowling challenge We have a very special guest Very. I don't know who got that, but I tip my cap to them because that was fucking awesome.
So get excited because there will be a very special guest. And it's going to be an awesome stream.
I'm legitimately excited to hang out in a bowling alley for PFT's birthday. Same.
Yeah, me too. It's going to be fun after the fact.
It won't be fun. No, no.
It's going to be fun for us the entire time. No, we're going to have fun the entire time.
Jake, you're going to get to go bowling and drink beer and eat hot dogs. We're going to have a full birthday party and then probably leave, and then you're going to be bowling for another six hours.
Yeah, right. We're going to have fun.
It's going to be for us. Fun, it's going to be a lot of fun.
Pizza, bowling. It's a joint birthday party, though.
Yeah. Thank you.
I appreciate that. Can we invite Stu? Yeah, Stu can come.
Yeah, it's his birthday, too, right? Yeah. Stu can come.
Stu can come and heckle. Who else's birthday is it? Who is in birthday week? Danny Woodhead? Wasn't there someone recently? Katie Nolan.
That was an awkward silent. I wasn't going to say anything.
I almost said something. She's not invited.

No, she's not.

Oh, our co-worker. It's not your birthday.

That's maybe what I was thinking.

Oh, yeah.

And also Riggs and Chuck.

Oh, yeah.

Riggs.

Yeah, yeah.

Chuck.

Jackie Robinson.

Yeah.

He's invited.

It's crazy that you said it on your birthday.

We're just going to pull.

Andy Milonakis. Is that him? He's January 30th.
He lives in New York. If it's your birthday, you're allowed to come.
How about that? Don't do that. Don't do that.
Absolutely not. Don't do that.
Not open to the public. Not open to the public.
You have to show ID. No, it's not open to the public.
We live in New York City. There will be many people.
Remember when we tried to marry someone, PFT? Yeah. We married a brother and sister.
How many people out there do you think that are listening are January 30th and 31st birthdays? I would say total at least 200. It's a great day.
It's a great day to be born. In the city? no no in general listening overall i mean people would fly if we did the deal i would say a thousand maybe the um it is it is a great day but it is i i'm reminded as i get older like you probably have the same thing pft where you were gas lit when you were a kid into thinking that january birthdays were good they suck like every time i see someone who has the numbers everyone who has a birthday in june or july i'm like that that rules you can do so much more fun january is just the worst month january 31st is the 278th most popular birthday whoa january 30th it's rare january 30th is 318 oh even more rare wow.
What do you guys think is the most popular birthday?

October.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Yeah, I was...

Okay, I was gonna say October.

No, he said it first.

What's nine months

after July 4th?

You think people are fucking...

That's when I was born.

Oh, nice.

Patriotic baby.

Nine of the top ten

are all in September.

Oh.

Weird.

So March,

like holidays. People have sex on our birthdays.
Yeah. And then the babies come out in September.
No. Weird.
So March, same holiday.

People have sex

on our birthdays

and then the babies

come out in September.

It's like holidays.

Same after today.

Our math is really bad.

It's like holiday season.

September is literally

the ninth month of the year.

It's like holidays,

New Year's.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

That makes sense.

So not our birthdays.

Kind of.

Not really.

Okay.

Jake, Fyre Fest. Before Fyre Fest, little bit of breaking moves, which you'd appreciate, Big Cat.
Breaking moves. For the third season.
Devontae Adams? No, it does not do with football. For the third season, ACC coach is retiring basketball without a retirement tour.
Mike Bray, retiring in the season. Yeah.
Oh, he's gone. Yeah, he's retiring.
Today. Well, he's finishing out the season.
Oh, so it is a retirement tour. That's shit, Bray.
That's a retirement tour. Well, not a full season.
What the fuck is that? Full season. Yeah.
But that's decent. Has conference play started? Yes.
They're bad. Hank knew that.
They're really bad. Yeah.
My Fyre Fest is one of the locations for Mount Rushmore. My New York City restaurants is closing.
Which one? Hillstone. Oh, yeah.
What's that? No, but not all of them. One of the two locations.
So you go to the other one. Well, it's going to be so much harder to get in.
The one right here is not closing. 27th and Park.
Yeah, that's the closest. But I love Hillstone.
One of my favorites. What is Hillstone? It's like a steak, but it's one of those steak places.
Ribs, spinach dip. They're the best spinach dip in the world.
You get sushi. Okay.
Yeah. You get everything.
My favorite. You you get every favorite to go want to go yeah let's go let's go for my birthday okay yeah sick okay uh i also i read no no no that was for me hank at pft got it you can come to i read that um our good friend john rostein's favorite place bar coastal just reopened different name whoa Word on the street is they've got the same guy cooking the wings.
They cooked the old wings. Oh, wow.
Might be worth checking out. Yeah, so, Hillstone still alive, but not really.
Are we in the trust tree? I might have muted John Rothstein. I don't think I've ever even followed him.
I don't mute John Rothstein just for nights like when DeMar Hamlin and that incident happened. Yeah, I'm going to unmute him.
And John Rothstein, like, in the middle of everybody being like, prayers up for DeMar. John Rothstein's like, Syracuse basketball, more consistent than the jackass.
No, no, no. Watching this game is like having a cardiac arrest.
Yeah, yeah. Within 20 minutes of that happening.
Yeah, I'm going to unmute him when we get closer to March. It's just, you know, during football season, you know, scheduling and all that.
I could do without. All right.
Hank, have you ever gotten this? We're going to do lottery ball. No, I have not.
Really? Really. Damn.
Sure?

Positive.

All right.

We have all the money in the safe.

So we're all set.

We're all squared up.

So if anyone gets it, they get all the money in the safe.

I'm going to go 17.

Nice.

18.

Hank?

Let me look at my DMs real quick. I'm feeling it today.

20.

Give me a number, too, Hank, from your DMs. Sorry.
Come on, Hank. How do you not have a number? I have so many.
There's so many Giants. I mean, Cowboys fans have overflowed my DMs.
They used to just all be numbers. 49.
Give me one, too. As a Cowboys fan,'s dope you mentioned Scump

Cowboys Yankees

fan welcome aboard

no give me a number

no I'm just trying

to fire through

1

1 ok

49 and 1

do you want 49

or 1

oh no this guy

said 17 14

or 66

alright so I'll go

66

I want 49

ok

16

17

I'm feeling it

I'm just gonna

will it to win

I'm not going to will it to win. Oh, my God.
If Billy gets this, he's just not going to do a video because he'll just reimburse. Get the money in there.
What did I say? 66. Will it? 97.
Oh, damn. Way off hand.
You're never're never gonna get it It's the second time

Ever

Ever

Ever

Ever

Gonna get it

Love you guys

The guanas are invasive in Florida

They fall out of trees when it gets cold

It's invasive

Yeah

It's invasive What I'm about to say, I'll say it anyway Today is another day to fight

Shine it away

I'll be coming for your love again

Shine it away

I'll be coming for your love again

You've been so good to me

Give you anything

You've been so good to me

Your love excited me Take me on me Take me on me Take me on me Take me on me Take me out I'll see you next time. I'm just playing my world easily.
You are the things I've got to remember. You shine away.

Love coming for you in your life.

You shine away.

Love coming for you in your life.

You've been shining.

Take on me.

Take on me.

I love you.

Take on me.

I love you.

Take on me.

Take on me. Take on me.
Take on me. Thank you.