Lions Taylor Decker, 1 Question With Will Levis, Remembering Mike Leach + Guys On Chicks

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have Lions left tackle Taylor Decker, AWL, great interview with him. We also have One Question with the Quarterback Live, in-person edition with Will Levis, who is going in next year's draft.
What size are his hands? We find out. Oh, they are.
Results will shock you. Yep.
Buzzfeed. The results will shock you.
We're going to talk a little Monday night football, hot seat, cool throne. Guys on chicks.
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Today is Wednesday, December 14th.

And are the Patriots back?

Patriots defense is back, big time.

Or do the Cardinals stink?

The Patriots defense is good.

Their offense is...

You know what?

I can officially say the Patriots are the best bad team in the NFL. They made that pretty clear over the last few weeks.
They're a very good bad team. Their offense still sucks ass.
Actually, this Sunday will be a very good test. The Raiders might be number two in the best bad team.
It's true. It's a good power rankings.
Josh McDaniel's revenge game. Yeah, power rankings.
Who is the best bad team? Find out on Sunday. I think that's fair.
That's a good matchup for those two. They are.
I do think that they're now in the playoffs. If the season ended today, the Patriots would be in the playoffs.
Their defense is very good. Mac Jones.
Again, I think that Mac Jones has a full-on case for QB malpractice to have Joe Judge and Matt Patricia, those two dumb fucks being his OC. I would be pissed if I were him.
If I were his agent, I'd be like, you guys fucked him up because they don't know what they're doing. The Patriots are the best bad team.
Matt Patricia is the dumbest rocket scientist in the world. Yes.
He stupid when it comes to offense verbal verbal meme uh matt patricia rocket science and it's just that gif of the kid hitting the rocket and going into his dad's dick or hitting himself that's joe judge and matt patricia matt patricia is a real life wiley coyote on an acme rocket firing himself into the side of a mountain that's been painted to look like a train tunnel yes he's bad the offense is really bad bad. I agree with that.
It's hard to watch. It's tough to say that Mac Jones is not a good quarterback because we don't know because of all the chaos that he's got into.
It's like the reverse of last year. It was like, look at the situation that Mac Jones was able to walk into, a structured organization, the best coach of all time, Josh McDaniels is OC.
Everything that we said last year about Mac Jones was basically reversed, and he got put in the worst situation possible. Yeah, and I think even Hank, if he was here, which he's not because he's sick, or on vacation, one of the two.
Yep, I have actually a wrinkle that a friend of mine threw out there that Hank is going to join us for Zoom at the end. I think we should offer Hank extra ping pong balls, but every roll he gets, we take away a vacation day.
That's not a bad idea. Rocking a hard place for him.
That's not a bad idea. But yeah, even Patriots fans like Hank, I think will admit that this team is just no fun.
It's not fun. No fun at all.
And if they make it to the playoffs, they're probably going to lose their first round game again. And that's not fun either.
Like, if you're a Patriots fan, like, for me, getting to the playoffs and losing in the first round, that's like my Super Bowl as a Commanders fan. If you're a Patriots fan, that's a washed season.
Yeah, I mean, if they make the playoffs, it would most likely be the seven seeds, so then they'd be playing the B or the chiefs. I kind of hope they play the bills again in Buffalo.

And it's just as bad as it was last year.

And,

and they have a tough schedule coming up.

They have the Raiders,

the Bengals,

the dolphins and at the bills.

So it's not going to be easy,

but they're in the playoffs right now.

So they get respect for that.

Like they've,

I would say that they're in that category of teams that like their roster

isn't that great.

And like the fact they're even in the playoff picture,

I'm sorry. I would say that they're in that category of teams that their roster isn't that great.
And the fact they're even in the playoff picture, it might, hey, there's teams with better rosters. The Saints were supposed to be a good team this year.
They've fallen off. The Raiders were supposed to be a dark horse.
They've fallen off. So you can at least look at it that way where it's like...
Is this Bill Belichick's best it might be yeah it might be his best coaching job of his career he is trying to play the nfl on progressively harder and harder levels in his video game where it's like okay can i get this team to the playoffs with a combination of joe judge and matt patricia as my offensive coordinator that's the next step up right next year he should do the fan controlled football yeah and let us Yeah, or next year, probably have his son call the plays. Yeah.
And then on the other side, Kyler Murray, that sucked. Yeah.
Torn ACL looks like. It was, I mean, it's already been a bummer of a year for the Cardinals.
And you can almost, like, see them quitting live on Monday Night Football. Yeah, it was tough to see that with Kyler.
There was, that first, like, half had so many injuries. So so many injuries.
Did you know that the real first injury of the game was actually the Cardinals mascot? Is this another Poe the Raven? He got injured running off, and he literally had to take his arm around someone's shoulder and be helped into the locker room. Was it a lower body injury? It was a lower body injury before the game even started.
It was a bad sign for the rest of the game. Here's how much the Cardinals bummed me out.
I didn't even know the Cardinals had a mascot. Yeah.
I've never seen it. I thought it was Cortez, the guy that wears the helmet in the stands of number 69.
It is. He'll never get injured.
That guy's a hoss. That guy's got big, big bones.
Yes. But yeah, it was a bummer of a game.
It was. It was like the only time that it was kind of a fun game was when we had the back-to-back.
It looked like it was going to be back-to-back, like pick six, fumble six. Yeah, that was an interesting time.
It was like, holy shit, everything's chaos. Colt McCoy getting in for a second.
People were like, oh, yeah, Colt McCoy, he's good. Colt McCoy is the perfect quarterback to start one game for your team in November.
He already did it. And he did that, and we got that game out of Colt McCoy.

Maybe the funniest stat of the night.

This made me mad.

I actually got mad, but it's very funny.

You know how long it's been since Cliff Kingsbury has won a coach's challenge in days?

Oh, it's probably like 400 days.

You would think that.

Yeah, that seems like a long amount of time.

Yeah.

1,087 days.

Holy shit.

It's been 1,087 days since Cliff Kingsbury has won a coach's challenge. Shout out to Stathol Sports.
I didn't know it was that many days. I just heard them say he hasn't won a challenge since 2019, which is pretty bad.
But when you say in days, that's almost twice as long as the second worst coach, who's Mike Tomlin. Yeah.
who's notoriously bad. Pete Carroll is up there.

He's a big fan of the false flags.

We know that.

Mike Tomlin, I'm not even going to count because he throws challenge flags

out of, like, passion.

Yeah.

There's no science behind this.

Well, there's a lot of coaches out there like Mike McCarthy.

He's one of the worst, too.

But he's a coach that will just challenge a play because he doesn't like

what happened in the play.

Right.

He's just frustrated.

He'll hope that something different happens the second time that he sees it. Yeah, he's basically a fan where we're like, no, no, no, change this.
They're going to change it. Like, somewhere right now there's a Saints fan who's still thinking they're going to change the pass interference call from 2018.
So, yeah, exactly. And I respect that guy.
Cliff Kingsbury has no excuse whatsoever for being this bad at challenges.

The other coaches that are up there, Mike Tomlin, Belichick, Pete Carroll,

those are three of the other worst in the NFL.

Their excuse is they never get to watch NFL games on TV.

So they're not good at watching replays.

Right.

They don't even know that replays exist.

They started coaching before the yellow line existed.

They don't know the green zone. Yeah.
Those coaches have a reason for it. When it comes to Cliff Kingsbury, you're young enough, dude.
You were coaching college football poorly like four years ago. You should know how to watch NFL football.
Yes, but he doesn't. That's why.
I mean, we've talked about this before on this show, but every staff should have somebody that's really good at watching sports. Yep.
To be their challenge guy. Yeah.
Cliff Kingsbury, that's just insane. 1,087 days.
That is a long, long time. Excuse me.
Whoa, that's a loud one. Yeah.
That must have been that bean I had for lunch. We've had some serious drilling going on.
Billy's going to have to go down and give him a talking to.

That one.

That's very loud. That feels like they're just drilling out of spite for us.

I think they're drilling into this wall right here.

Yeah.

Billy's going to have to go out there.

The other thing.

So Monday Night Football was kind of a bummer.

It feels like that just happens late in the season.

I do.

This is a lot.

I'm going to kill Pete. This is a lot.
I'm going to kill Pete.

This is a lot.

I'm going to murder Pete.

Well, it's a good thing the Wi-Fi always works.

What's going on, Billy?

Give us an update.

Don't touch any buttons, Billy.

They're right outside of our window.

Can you tell them?

I'm going to have to go through these windows.

All right, okay.

Wait, no, you're not going to go through this window.

This is going to be a disaster.

What are you talking about?

You're going to go through this window. I'm going to knock everything over.
What are you talking about? You're going to go through this window.

Who's going to knock everything over and ruin the studio?

No, this is going to be so bad.

Oh, my God.

Keep this all in.

This is...

Billy, I don't know if that window even opens.

I'm opening the first one just to roll down the blind

so I can just put a message up to the window.

Oh, Jake just dropped his computer.

This is chaos in the studio.

It's absolutely chaos.

Messi's dribbling through Croatia right now.

Yeah, Argentina.

Oh, my God.

That's a good thing. up to the window.
Oh, okay. Jake just dropped his computer.
This is chaos. It's absolute chaos.
Messi's dribbling through Croatia right now. Yeah, Argentina.
Argentina. Oh, my God.
Better be careful. This is glass.
Jake. Oh, my God.
Argentina. Argentina.
It's going to be Argentina. Probably France.
Probably France, although we said that about everything. Hey, Big Cat, did you hear that the Queen of England actually hired the British soccer team to be her pallbearers?

Oh.

So they could let her down one last time?

I like it.

I like it. I didn't know these windows opened.

Billy, I don't think this is going to work.

Are you going to crawl out and scare them?

Oh, I thought about it.

Oh.

Oh, he's got them.

He's got them.

Oh.

Can you stop?

Two layers.

Billy just gave him the throat slash.

That's a $15,000 fine, Billy. You got them billy get him with the phone tell him tell him the little app do you want to fuck that will pause him they're stopping right now they would stop for for glennie ball's show it's fine find another number one sports podcast that we'll just podcast through a drill in our face they've've been doing construction.
No jumper probably. Yeah, no jumper for sure.
No, not no jumper. The OnlyFans one he has.
All right, they're looking. Billy, what's the sign say? What does it say, Billy? Something in English and something in Spanish.
Oh, you did bilingual. Wow, Billy.
Are you going to make? Are you giving a thumbs up? Yeah, Billy. Tell him to guess a number.
Yeah, Billy. Por favor, señor.
Are you going to make? No mas con. He's giving a thumbs up?

Yeah. No mas con la magina.

Tell him to guess a number.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Nombre, por favor.

Oh, my God, Billy.

You did it.

Wait.

Nombre's name.

Numero.

Numero.

Numero.

Good job, Billy.

Por favor.

Zero.

Let me see your message, Billy.

Noventa y nueve.

I'll read it out loud.

Billy wrote, hey, guys, if you don't stop drilling, I'm ice What the fuck dude that's fucked up Jesus Christ Billy Alright so where were we oh NFL I had Yeah I was gonna say We have our first Saturday games coming up Which is always fun Saturday games get the juices flowing NFL all weekend long. I also wanted to bring attention to a tweet that came across my desk today, PFT, that I would like to get your take on.
It's been a while since I've had a tweet come across my desk. Yeah, across my desk.
It was very funny. He said, hey, pardon my take.
Just a fun little fact when you continuously hammer home the point differential stats when it comes comes to the vikings and it's a picture of an andrew siciliano tweet that says all this talk about the vikings negative point differential six of the 14 teams currently in playoff positions have given up more points than they've scored tennessee minus 35 giants minus 33 chargers minus 31 bucks minus Washington Commanders minus 3, Minnesota minus 1. So the point is that the Vikings are just as shitty as those teams.
Yeah. So I got a tweet from somebody today.
It came across my desk. Oh, okay.
And it said, PFT, care to comment on the fact that the Washington Commanders have a slightly worse point differential than the Minnesota Vikings? Yeah. And I replied to her.
I said, yes, my comment is that the Washington Commanders

will also not win the Super Bowl this year.

Right, exactly.

And then I saw that I had a bunch of replies that it was also tagging you

probably to that tweet right there.

Yes, that quote tweeted it.

That's the entire thing.

It's a cell phone.

Yes, you're correct.

The Minnesota Vikings, they have a better point differential

than the New York Giants.

And the Tennessee Titans and the Chargers. All teams that are not going to win the Super Bowl.
It was just a list of teams. What about the Cowboys, Big Cat? The Cowboys do not have a negative point differential.
Oh, okay. Interesting.
It's a list of teams that we all agree will not be winning the Super Bowl. And you proved our point for us.
Yes, thank you. It was actually a great job by you.
the 10 and 3 Vikings are on this list

of 6 teams in the playoffs right now

that are not going to win the Super Bowl. And Kirk Cousins playing great.
Playing great. Playing great football.
Justin Jefferson, best receiver in the league. This is not a knock against Kirk Cousins, believe it or not.
Your defense stinks. Your defense is trash.
Kirk Cousins has actually improved against the Blitz and under pressure. He played as good as you could ever hope Kirk Cousins could play last week against the Lions, and you lost because your defense can't stop anybody.
The other tweet that has come across my desk that has made me laugh is the tweet that is the Packers to make the playoffs. So there's some people.
This is the time of season where we talked about it with the Steelers and the Browns and the Raiders, like the win-out mentality. Like if you're one of those teams that's 5-7 or 5-8, hey, what if we just win out? Well, the Packers have a path to the playoffs, and it was like Packers win out, and the first and second thing were the Giants and Commanders both have to go one and three in their last four.
They play each other. So if either of them wins, which that's an if because they did tie.
They could tie again. Then they just have to win one more game.
So it is that season. It is.
Where we're just holding on for hope. Also in Monday Night Football, they debuted a new graphic for the playoff picture.
They replaced Sniffin' Around. I liked Sniffin' Around.
I did too. And the new phrase is now loitering that they're using.
I don't like loitering. Loitering feels like it should be a subcategory after Sniffin' Around of teams like the Packers that are going to be loitering on this graphic for the next couple weeks, but they're not going to make the playoffs.
Right. Like, mathematically alive should be loitering.
So as far as I'm concerned, my power rankings go as thus. Number one, sniffing around.
Number two, in the hunt. Number three, loitering.
So we'll see what Joe Buck has him do next week. Yes.
Ready to attack. Ready to attack.
What was that from? No, I'm just thinking of. Oh, that's Jake's.
They're ready to attack. Ready to attack.
I like that, Jake. There's a narrative, and I think this happens pretty much every other year in the NFL when there's maybe not one team that's super dominant, even though the Eagles have been super dominant, where everyone's like, the NFL's just trash.
I push back on that being like, I think there are six really, really good teams. And the only thing about the NFL, which is why we love the league, is that the best team and the worst team, there's not that much of a difference between them.
Because that's just how it works. We've got more great quarterbacks now than we've had in a very long time.
For a while, the great quarterbacks, like you've got tom brady you've got peyton manning you got big ben and then maybe you could put like drew breeze and aaron rogers and yeah phil rivers was loitering that that was it that was it now we've got great quarterbacks everywhere um and i'm like very excited about the playoffs i'm buying stock in the future yeah i am too i just I am too. It's a lazy argument.
I feel like, again, every other year where it's like, because there's not three teams that all have one loss, everyone's like, well, this season just sucks in the NFL. Everyone just sucks.
No, I really do think there are six teams that are very, very good, and we talked about it on Sunday, but those six teams will produce the Super Bowl winner. I'm confident.
We put our life on it. The other subcategory of that graphic that we've always talked about is the Don't Look Now team.
I don't have a Don't Look Now team. I had the Cowboys, but they're no longer like people are looking at the Cowboys.
I think it's... Bengals? No, I think people are looking at the Bengals too because they went to the Super Bowl last year.
That's what I'm saying. Is there a don't look now team? Yeah, I think unfortunately, and I hate it because I don't want to fall back in this trap, I think it's the Chargers.
I think the Chargers are the don't look now team. I think that they're the team that you don't want to play.
The Ravens could be potentially the don't look now. If Lamar gets healthy.
Yeah, if Lamar gets healthy, I think the Ravens are definitely don't look now material. Or the Dolphins, if Tua figures it out in the last couple weeks.
Well, so the Dolphins, I'm to Anon. There's a problem for the Dolphins this Saturday.
I don't know if you saw the report. Oh, big problem.
In Sunday Night Football, they played in LA. It was 55 degrees, and a report came afterwards that the Dolphins had heaters on their sidelines.
I'm going to guess that's not great for them having to go to Buffalo on Saturday night. You shouldn't smoke during NFL games.
Billy, could you give us a weather report for Buffalo Saturday night? I'm going to say that that, uh, that's the sign of a candy ass team heaters for 55 degree weather. And just so we remind everyone when the dolphins are like decent and they go to a cold weather city at the end of the season there are no there is no uniform combo that is more candy ass than what they have i just envision every time the dolphins have to play in a cold weather game i envision matt moore getting knocked out in pittsburgh you can't you can't play in the snow in the candy ass.
Are they teal? Yeah, I don't know. Teal? If I don't know immediately what color your uniform is off the top of my head, if it's not a basic color, then your team sucks in the cold weather.
Aqua. They should actually.
Aqua in the cold? Aqua doesn't exist in the cold. If the Dolphins were smart, they would actually have a cold weather alternate.
Yes. Like just be like, hey our we're now dark blue or our black yeah black or dark black in the snow yeah these are our jerseys it's not it also would be also a different name for your team besides the dolphins yeah like just polar bears or sharks yeah our yeah like the snow dolphin yeah the snow fish uh what do you got billy very, 30 degrees.
Oh, I think they might need the heaters. No, it sinks, though.
Oh. Oh, weather off.
Saturday, not Sunday. Oh, no.
You were at Sunday. Saturday night.
It's Saturday night. It's supposed to snow.
Nighttime. How's it now? Now, is it lake effect? Because you can get some higher degrees with the snow.
Billy, Jake really enjoyed that moment. He really enjoyed it.
No, light snow showers are at 11 a.m. Well, for being our weather guy, Billy is definitely the worst on this show at actually reading the weather.
I have the best tools, though. You do have the best tools.
Yeah, yeah. And he knows how to open windows.
That's true. And he knows how to end.
Yeah. Billy, you've got so many strengths.
It's just one that I think you could improve on would be your weather weather telling abilities yeah yeah um all right other things we should talk about uh the passing of mike leach tragic terrible i think we should actually rename the football guy of the year award for him because they that's that's hot in the streets right now the nba just renamed all their awards yeah so motion to rename football guy of the year award to the mike leach football guy of the year award i concur yeah everyone vote yay yay memes is saying no why are you saying no memes what what are you saying no for yes yes oh okay yes all right sorry for a second there i was like he just died hank said no uh hank did say no should we throw madden in there too well so that's i was thinking about that earlier because people were saying that we got a lot of feedback saying we should rename the award after Mike Krich, which I don't have a problem with, but I think John Madden should be a different award. I have the solution.
John Madden should be Grit Week. Yes.
The John Madden Grit Week. Because we're going to be in a bus.
Yeah, the John Madden Grit Week. According to my records.
We're just going to name everything. According to my records from when I've been in charge of the award every week, Mike Leach has been nominated 23 times.
So it's his award. He's won eight times.
Yeah, Mike's award. Mike Leach is such a unique personality.
And people like Mike Leach. It's tough to say people like Mike Leach because there's nobody like Mike Leach.
He was a one-of-a-kind individual. He's the person that makes college football fun.
Yes. Like having those unique personalities, doing things their own way, the way that he used to interact with the media and go off on these tangents about things that had nothing to do with sports whatsoever.
Fighting mascots and being a pirate. What I love is he was unapologetically himself in a sport that sometimes forces you to be uh forces you to conform to what things have always been like before you got there and mike leach was like unapologetically himself throughout his entire career and he made the sport so much more fun and and he also like i felt like was having fun when he was coaching.
And you can't say that for a lot of good coaches. Like, I don't think Nick Saban has fun.
I don't think Kirby Smart is having fun. Mike Leach had fun.
And you could feel it. You could sense it, the way that he interacted with his players.
He also was just a goddamn good football coach. So I was looking at his career.
So just just talking about his coaching tree these are the names under him for his coaching tree sonny dykes in the college football playoffs uh dana holgerson seth luttrell lincoln riley ever heard of him art briles dave aranda cliff kingsbury neil brown josh heupel like Like, what he touched and everyone that came after him,

he has such an impact on all of college football.

And I was looking up his seasons as well.

The way he turned around Texas Tech and Washington State,

like, he wasn't coaching Blue Bloods.

He was coaching teams that no one else wanted to coach,

and he made them really, really good. So in the 10 seasons at Texas Tech, he was 84 and 43.
He won 84 games in 10 seasons. In the 21 seasons prior, Texas Tech won 113 games.
He made Texas Tech a thing. They had their first 11-win season in 30 years under Mike Leach and then at Washington State, in 8 seasons at Washington State, he had 55 wins.
In the eight seasons prior, Washington State had 29 wins. He doubled it.
And then he also has the only 11-win team in Washington State history in 2018. He was just a phenomenal, phenomenal college football coach, legendary guy.
We had him. We were lucky enough to have him on the show we even got duped for people long time awls pft and i in our old studio it used to be there was a control room that controlled the radio and the podcasting and we had mike leach set up to have him on and somehow a radio caller got through and for 10 minutes we interviewed a fake mike leach being like, the guy was doing a Mike Leach voice, and we were just looking at each other the whole time like, I don't think this is Mike Leach.
And then we finally asked a question to, like, nail him. He's like, the guy was like, yeah, I'm not Mike Leach.
I have a confession to make. What? Is that you? That was my fault in the radio room.
Oh, you put it through? They got the wrong collar from Barstool Radio.

Ah. And we put it in.

I didn't admit it.

It was a crazy moment to be like,

because at the start, we were talking to this guy,

and he was going off on these tangents.

And at first, we were like,

well, Mike Leach would go off on these weird tangents.

And then progressively, the interview unraveled,

and we were like, okay, this is probably not him.

It does figure that Billy was the one responsible for that. That makes complete sense.
we were but we were lucky enough to have him on go listen to that interview um oh we got into it with him about whether or not the sun was hot or cold yeah that was actually we should put that clip out that was a very funny clip with mike leach like that's exactly the type of hypothetical argument that that this dude lived for yeah and not only did he like take those schools turn them around, but he actually changed the entire sport of football. Yeah, yeah.
With the area offense and how, Mommy, like, you can trace almost every electric offense in the NFL and college football in the last 10, 15 years directly back to what Mike Leach invented. Yeah, and the way that he played the game was revolutionary, and it's just, yeah, I mean he's just an all-time, all-time football guy, human.
And it's devastating. I'm pretty sure he popularized the free play for Vert.
Yeah, I know. Every team should run that first play of the bowl game.
That would be awesome. Last two quick Mike Leach stories I wanted to share.
This one, I either forgot it or I never realized it, but in 2008, I want to say, Texas Tech had really bad special teams. Mike Leach literally pulled a kid who was doing a field goal competition during the game, like one of those win-free tuition.
Yeah. He pulled him off the field, and he made him his extra point kicker and primary kicker for three seasons.
That's incredible. You can actually see the clip of the kid hitting the extra point or the field goal for the free tuition, and he had a staffer go grab him before he could get off the field.
And he's like, you're our kicker now. And he said it in his 60 Minutes interview.
He's like, well, he hit a kick in front of a full stadium for free tuition, so I figured he could hit an extra point for us. That's true.
Next three seasons. And he saved a scholarship.
He saved a scholarship. For someone else.
Yeah. He's also an all all-time rugby guy he was a rugby player in college and then implemented a lot of stuff when with that game into his air raid offense believe it or not yeah and he's so just a tremendous loss really really sad um we loved him and and the last thing i'll leave with mike leach because it's just perfect Mike Leach and also kind of tells you like all

the tributes are awesome and it's sad but also remember who Mike Leach was uh when he did an

e60 interview with Jeremy Schaap a few years ago Jeremy Schaap asked when people write the

Mike Leach obituary how do you want to be remembered and he responded well that's their

problem what do I care I'm dead so it's like a perfect perfect Mike Leach um and yeah I love

I'm going to go. responded well that's their problem what do i care i'm dead so it's like a perfect perfect mike leach um yeah i love him i mean he's he's he's one of one of the best characters that football's ever had so so this is my personal favorite mike leach story uh he was this was um at texas tech lincoln riley overheard this so lincoln riley was the one that that told the story he got a phone call, picked it up, said, hey, how's it going? And he listened for a second and asked, where are you calling from? He kept talking on the phone, and I eventually sort of tuned out.
Now a short phone conversation for Coach Leach is an hour. So he was talking about this and that, and I was kind of hunkered down working on my own stuff.
At some point, the call got dropped. They must have lost reception.
Coach said, can you hear me? Are you there? Then he closed his old flip phone, swung it back open, and redialed. He said, hey, sorry, I just lost you.
And they resumed their conversation for another 30 minutes or so before Coach Leach finally hung up. After he was done, we started talking.
I said, hey, Coach, who was that on the phone? And he said, oh, they had the wrong number. Yeah, I mean, that's Mike Leach.
Yeah, just talked to anyone. I talked with a stranger who was that on the phone and he said oh they had the wrong number yeah i mean that's mike leach yeah just talked to anyone talked with a stranger for an hour on the phone because they dialed the wrong number he would talk to anyone and he was uh yeah the absolute best the absolute best so uh you know r.i.p mike leach but reminder he he didn't care because he's dead so you know the tributes are awesome awesome, and we will be renaming the Football Guy of the Year award in his memoriam.
And, yeah, I feel like that's a good way to do it. We've got to make a real trophy now because Mike Leach would want it.
Maybe it's just a pirate sword. How about this? I was going to say a football with an eye patch and a sword, like a pirate football.
Yeah, I like that. Or maybe it's a sword and the handle of the sword is made out of pigskin.
That could work. Or it's a sword that's going through a football.
Yeah, yeah. Okay, we'll come up with it.
And yeah, that will be awesome. All right, let's transition to Hot Seat Cool Throne.
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So, Hot Seed Cool Throne. Hank is not here.
Memes is in his place. Memes.
Take it away, memes. Put the the camera on yourself, Memes.
It is. Okay.
My cool throne is hockey fights. Oh, you're starting with cool throne.
Yeah. Okay, interesting.
It's hot seat. It's hot seat.
It's hot seat. Cool throne is the name of the segment.
All right. All right.
Okay, Memes. Off to a good start.
Man, Memes has probably listened to more part of my take than anybody on planet Earth, but it's different once you step into the box. He just does it different.
Bright lights on you. Goofy style.
Your cool throne is hockey fights? Hockey fights. So there was a massive hockey fight between Bruins fans and Coyotes fans.
And somebody wound up getting their finger bitten off. Yeah.
Oh, hell yeah. PLL style.
That was an awesome fight. Yeah, there were cops diving in the pile.
Yeah, that cop, if you didn't see it, go just Google it. It was basically a huge brawl.
And then a cop decided instead of like, let me break this up, he just jumped on top of the pile and took out like five people with him. It was sick, yeah.
Football guy. I would like to just acknowledge the fact that there are Coyotes fans out there that care enough about hockey to get into a fight.
That's pretty cool. And also shout out to Coyotes fans who kind of won the fight with the lower ground, which is a very hard thing to do in a stadium.
Not really a stadium, though. Whatever it is.
It's a college. I don't understand why people keep fish hooking people.
It gets your finger bitten off every time. Well, if you get the fish hooking correctly, it won't get bitten off.
I know, but no one's good at that nowadays. Yeah.
There was my college roommates and I had a fish hook phase, and it ruined some trust in relationships. If you get a fishhook, you can't get it out.
I kind of think that fishhook should be allowed in fights because you're playing a dangerous game. If you miss the fishhook, yeah, your finger's getting bitten off.
But if you get it, you win. You got him good.
And then my hot seat is Max. Oh.
Oh, why's that? He doesn't know ball. He doesn't know ball.
And his comments. Yeah, we had a lot of people commenting on Max's lack of ball knowledge.
Max, you were saying you got hammered in the DMs. People just coming at you left and right about not knowing ball.
Yeah, it was a bad look. It was a bad look for me not knowing ball.
And it was a bad look for this podcast. And I would like to apologize to everyone for thinking that you couldn't advance on a fumble.
Okay. So, and yeah, I mean, it was probably- It's funny when you say it out loud.
Yeah, probably the worst thing that could ever be done. Yeah, yeah.
Piled the pop quiz on the blog. Go ahead and check it out.
Okay, so check out the pop quiz. And then, Max, you said you had one person who DM'd you like a script to come back at us? so I thought that that's what it was because it was a list of – it was an essay full of 10 different stats on football, but then when I did a deep dive into it, it was just how the Eagles are the best team in the NFL.
So give it to us. Give us some.
The Eagles are on pace right now to have the highest sacks per game of any team in the last 20 years. Wow, you know ball.
Yep, yep. The Eagles are on pace for the most rushing touchdowns by a team in the Super Bowl era with 35 touchdowns.
Wow, that's ball. Yep.
Ball is life. Jalen Hurts is on pace for the second most rushing touchdowns in a season by a quarterback, only getting beat out by Cam Newton.
I don't like that stat. If you say on pace to have to have the second most that's not that cool this is also just so funny because it's in the mind of a philly fan where it's like we made fun of max for not knowing ball it's obviously very tongue-in-cheek because it was just a silly comment and this eagles fan was like they think we don't know ball well here's all these facts about the e.
Go Birds. Said.
This one's good for you, PFT. The second quarter will be the highest amount of points scored by any team in any quarter ever.
For the Birds. For the Eagles.
Yeah. So you said that earlier.
Yeah, dude, they fucking dominate. You know what? This is actually terrible news for the Cowboys because I looked it up after the show.
Dak Prescott leads the league in second quarter interceptions by far. Oh, no.
He's like the worst. The Eagles are the best second quarter team.
Hammer the birds. Dak Prescott stinks.
Yeah, Dak Prescott stinks. Yeah.
I think part of your hatred towards Dak still stems from the fact that we had two years where we would debate Carson Wentz versus Dak Prescott. Yes.
Now you hate Carson Wentz, but you still hate Dak because of those debates. I still think of Carson that had the opportunity.
You don't know ball. No, Max is right.
We just reactivated Carson Wentz. I agree.
Alright, PFT, your hot seat, cool throw. Yeah, got a couple of them.
My hot seat is chess boxing integrity. There's a scandal in the world of chess boxing, which is a uniquely Russian sport, I think, where it's just straight up you box for one round, and then you play chess.
And then you go back to boxing, then you play chess again, and you can win either by knockout or by checkmating your opponent. Which is tough because as you're playing chess, you take the breaks.
You get hit in the head. Then you get worse at chess as it goes along.
So there's a big scandal going on over there. They had an event two nights ago.
And in this scandal, it was between Andrea Botez, who came into this office and played speed chess against us and her opponent and uh andrea botas should have been awarded a technical knockout after the referee initiated the fourth standing count of the fight and then the ref didn't know the rules the ref didn't know boxing oh no and so they gave it to uh dina Belenkaya. They gave the win and then afterwards they said wait we fucked up they get to share the belt that doesn't make much sense to me i think they're trying to set up for a rematch yep down the line but i want to go to one of these chess boxing events because it sounds amazing yeah it does it sounds like the best time ever like if we could incorporate chess boxing into rough and rowdy i think that'd be cool to do like one time for one match at some point yes yeah billy i'm in billy you kept leaning over and touching the mic like you're about to say something those twitch streamers were the ones boxing yeah she was andrea botas was doing it yeah and she andrea botas was by far the better boxer badass um there's just a few sports out there that are you can tell that they're just russian like the slap The slap competition Yeah they're like how can we make this more Russian Let's just beat the fuck out of each other Have you seen telephone booth fights Yeah How about the Russian Mass boxing in the woods Have you ever seen those Where it's like 100 dudes vs 100 dudes Those rule fights Or hooligan fights.
Or they do team UFC, too. Step into the ring, and then it usually gets – at the end of those fights, it's always like four against one, and it's just some guy on the ground just getting stomped out.
Yeah. Well, actually, speaking of this, this was going to be my cool throne, chucking knucks, but basically China and India had one of those over a border dispute.
That's sick. Like India-China border.
That's how it should be. Yeah, no guns.
All wars. Wars in general should be like 100,000 people from each army squaring up on a beach.
Imagine just sending like a bunch of Philly fans after they lose the World Series. Our Coyotes fans.
Yeah. Fucking kill them, Seth.
You know what? We should update. If John Lennon was alive today, he'd imagine But he'd just be like Imagine if instead of nuclear wars We just fucking threw down Yeah Yeah Everyone gets home for dinner Chuck Knox My cool throne is criminals Oh Criminals are on the cool throne Because there's a massive fire burning right now At the New York Police Department's evidence locker Out in Brooklyn.
Like the entire building's burning down right now. So that means that criminals are just going to be able to get off with everything.
If basically if you've committed a crime in New York where they need evidence for you, that evidence just got burned up today. Uh-oh.
El Chapo. That's bad.
You probably get so high smelling that smoke. Yeah.
Yeah, that's true. Some janky ass drugs probably.
That's true. It's probably crack cocaine.
I'm looking at the picture right now. That's a big fire.
It looks pretty cool. That's a fucking big-ass fire.
Also, my other cool throw is Big Ben. We talked about Big Ben on Monday's show, speculating that he would want to come back and play for the Steelers this year.
On his podcast, he said that he's thought about coming back to play for the 49ers. Oh, wow.
So he's volunteering his services. That's something that Kyle Shanahan did not ask for.
Kyle Shanahan is like, get the fuck out of here. Kyle Shanahan should preemptively block Big Ben's telephone.
I also want to play for the 49ers for doing unrealistic things. Me too.
That'd be great. I think I could fit in nicely.
You take Big Ben's skill set and you take what the 49ers are looking for. Besides the fact that he's tall, I don't think that there's anything about Big Ben that would lend the 49ers.
He literally wouldn't throw over the middle of the field. Ever.
That's all you need to do for the 49ers. He would never go under center in a million years.
Can you imagine how bad? He wouldn't be able to. He would fall down trying to hand off to Christian McCaffrey.
I think that you could name a quarterback in the NFL right now, and they're probably better suited for the 49ers than Big Ben is. Yes.
Doesn't matter who you are. Every single quarterback.
Now, that doesn't mean I wouldn't watch it. No.
If you play it. Every second of it.
I would watch it many times over. Big Ben would probably demand to wear a Steelers uniform while on the 49ers.
Yeah. Come on, guys.
All right. My hot seat is Chris Beard.
Holy shit. That guy's a scumbag.
Oh, yeah. So I didn't really read to me the details after the fact where he was accused of choking somebody repeatedly.
His fiance. Okay.
When I see choked repeatedly at that point, I move on from that person. Yeah.
Yeah. I don't know what Texas will do.
Have they announced, Jake?

You're a big Chris Beard guy.

No, I'm not.

They suspended him, I believe, indefinitely,

and they had their associate take over last night.

They beat Rice in overtime.

Yeah, I did take Rice plus 24. I felt like that was standing up for what's right,

but also your coach literally was in jail two hours ago.

Yeah. Probably not focused on the game.
So we we'll see. So, are they going to fire him? We'll see.
It's a legal matter. I don't want to say something wrong.
He is good at coaching, PFT. He is.
That's literally what. Like the Board of Regents in Texas, that's what they're doing.
They're sitting in a big meeting right now being like, well, we got to fire him. Domestic violence.
He choked a woman. woman he's a bad person and then some guy just like we're number two in the country pretty good red mccomb stands up in the back of the room he's like players still singing eyes of texas after the game though we could go today i saw him at the garden oh so you are so you know? They lost that game, too.
What was that conversation like between you and him? Did not talk to him. You give him a little what's up? Nope.
What were you going to say, Billy? Does he ever lose a lot of close games? What do you mean? You're trying to make a choking joke, Billy. It's very inappropriate.
I'm sorry. That's okay.
I will say, Big Cat, much like you took Rice plus 24, I'm dropping Texas from my power rankings. Oh! Entirely.
So now it's just Illinois number one. Do they have a...
I don't think Illinois is number one anymore. In my power rankings.
Oh, in your power rankings. They just lost to Penn State.
Yeah, I don't care. I saw them play Texas, and I put them number one in my power rankings.
Now Texas is out. Is Wisconsin in your bracket yet? Yeah.
Yeah.'re top 25 buddy yes okay yeah are you doing a bracket this year no but that can just be the joke no it's not a joke i want you i told you i want you to make a bracket and make sure they're in i'll do one eventually okay yeah not before selection sunday yes before selection sunday okay they're in um by the way when i was watching I was watching that game between Illinois and Texas last week, shocked that Kofi Cockburn is not Coburn. Coburn is not.
And I call him Kofi Cockburn. Yeah, he's not in the McDonald's lawsuit.
He's not there anymore. But shocked that he's not there.
And he should be back in school. Like, he could probably make millions of dollars there.
Instead, he's playing, like, in Japan or in Taiwan or something. I thought he was going to transfer.
I guess he just went that way instead. It's tough because he's just so big and such a big presence.
He should be back at Illinois. Yes, he should.
And then my cool throne is anyone who wants a PS5 for Christmas because if you go to StellaBlueCoffee.com today, just today, and you buy any coffee, you could potentially get a golden mug. We we're doing a golden mug so you could open up a box and it could be a golden mug and that means you get a ps5 and if you do the stella blue coffee club membership you get five entries i've always wanted to do a golden something golden ticket golden mug so i have five ps5 you know who'd love that song grandpa joe yeah he would Hank, you mean? Golden ticket, yeah.
Hank probably is going to try to rig this. I won't let Hank rig my golden mug promotion.
That's a guarantee. Read the fine print.
Henry Lockwood, not eligible. Not eligible.
But yeah, go to StellaBlueCoffee.com. You buy anything today, Wednesday, and you could potentially win a PS5.
And they're very hard to get. They were like, I was in a meeting today.
They're like, it was not easy to get them, but we got them all. And they actually have a Stella Blue Coffee skin on them, which is kind of cool.
Billy, you also cannot win this. Okay.
Actually, no, you can. You can.
No, if I start gaming again, I'm going to have no time. Yeah, you can win it.
Billy's talking about gaming like billy wins like it's a heroin issue oh if i fall back off that wagon uh my hot seat is sam bankman freed he was officially arrested in the bahamas you're in jail bitch and he's yeah so do you know what i was thinking about it earlier like the worst part for him is you know maybe not even the fact that he's going to jail fraud, stole a bunch of people's money. It's the fact that to the regular world, I count myself in that where I'm not really into crypto, he just got exposed as being the biggest dork alive.
I saw a picture of him and I heard his voice and I was like, this guy's a fucking dork. Yeah.
He was kind of living undercover where it's like he had all his Bitcoin bros and he was living in bahamas living the high life and now that he's like crossed over to the normal people know who he is like dork yeah i also think the fact that people call him sbf yeah like that's it sounds way cooler like now that i see sam he is a sam bankman free yeah he's not an s he's not an sbf sbf sounds like someone that obama would, SBF sounds, yeah, exactly. Like, he does sound like a dude with some shit to him.
Yeah. Now, they're saying that he was doing a Twitter space yesterday, and I feel like everything I know about this guy comes from him doing a Twitter space.
I'm not a lawyer. If I was a lawyer, I would imagine my first piece of advice to my clients would be like, just stay off Twitter spaces for a while.
Well, that was the thing. Don't broadcast everything.
He did all these shows and live interviews where he basically, people were like, what happened? He'd be like, we kind of got confused with some stuff. Yeah.
And yeah, so he's a dork. There's never been a person who's wasted the Bahamas more than him because you know he went to the beach with his shirt on.
That's what I thought about him when I was doing my initial research, but then I've been educated, and he was just having meth-fueled orgies the entire time. Yeah, he was, but still, he was going to the beach with his shirt on.
Yeah, he does not look like a Bahamas guy. I did hear that he also lived right next door to Dan Snyder.
Oh. So hopefully he gets caught up in some of this investigation.
I would assume so. But just, if you're under indictment or might be under indictment for something, just, like, don't do Twitter spaces.
Yeah. Is that that hard to do? He's a dork.
Stay offline. Yeah.
Alright, your cool throne? My cool throne was Chuckie Nux and in the environment, we have found this nuclear fission breakthrough where we might have unlimited energy fusion are you talking about fishing fusion we're fishing for nuclear fission we got a fishing fishing fission fission f-i-s-s-i-o-n fission i think i think you're talking about you're talking about nuclear fusion think fusion and fission might be different. They're different things.
We've been doing nuclear fission. We've gone fission.
When you said that, I thought we were literally going out on a boat and we were trying to pull up some nuclear shit. No, it's like fission with dynamite, except you're dropping A-bombs on that.
I think it's fission. I think that's the proper...

I think you're wrong.

I'm pretty sure that we've been doing nuclear fission for a while.

Now we're doing nuclear fusion.

But now we have a big breakthrough.

This is fusion, though.

We brought in a hundred pounder.

Fission versus fusion.

The difference between fusion and fission, fusion is where two light atomic nuclei...

Okay, this is way too complicated.

Yeah.

I'm just going to Google nuclear fusion, and then I'm going to be like see Billy I'm right nuclear fusion yeah all the top stories scientists achieved nuclear fusion energy breakthrough 37 minutes ago nuclear fishing in the grand scheme of things a fish killed by nuclear power stations pale into insignificance against the catch of the monster skull. Okay.
So you can fish for nuclear fish.

All right.

Jake, your hot seat.

Cool throne.

My hot seat.

It's Harry Kane.

Yeah.

Couldn't make a PK under pressure, but the Syracuse men's soccer team did.

PKs in the national championship over Indiana last night.

Wow.

Best way to decide a champion.

Wow.

It was a great strike, too.

It was pure class.

Wow.

Upper 90. First national title.
Congrats, Jake. Well in for the lad.
I know you're huge. Because you're Syracuse soccer.
Yep. Syracuse football.
Syracuse Gators, yeah. Yeah.
And Texas basketball. Nope.
Those are your teams. Never been to Austin.
Okay. My cool throne is the wild meter.
Buckle up. Oh, no.
I have a story to tell. All right.
Hold on. Wait.
Let me get up, and then I'm going to sit down. Okay.
All right. I'm sitting.
Okay. Here we go.
In 2002, LeBron James was in high school, right? Yeah. Okay.
Yep. Yep.
Checks out. He had a nationally televised game against o'kill

okay marl carmelo anthony's alma mater academy okay okay yeah please on december 12 2002 lebron had a dunk off a steal in the first quarter he had seven first quarter points on espn2 wow December 12, 2002

Yesterday

December 12, 2022

On ESPN2

Same channel, exactly 20 years to the day. Bronny James threw down a dunk.
Wait, is Bronny James related to LeBron? He is his son. Okay, all right.
He threw down a dunk off a steal against, I don't know if I'm pronouncing this right, Kian Anthony, Kamalo's son, to give his team seven first quarter points on ESPN. What? That is wild.
Same channel, same day. Simulation.
That's the same type of dunk. Nuclear fission broke the atmosphere.
That is wild. Against Carmelo's son.
That is wild. Yeah.
Like, wild. Nothing to say but wild.
Look at this. You think Carmelo's son's going to go to Syracuse? All right, so this is LeBron.
LeBron and his son dunking on the same spot on the court 20 years later. At the basket? Wow.
At the basket? Yeah, same spot. Wow.
That's wild. Right side dunk.
No, they dunk. There's a net there and everything.
Yeah. Wow.
Same channel, same day, 20 years. That's crazy.
That is wild, Jake. oh same carmelo's yeah you could dunk it from the left side or yeah that's wild that's wild um that is a true wild that i 20 years to the day that makes that's fucking crazy that's also a feel old.
Yeah. It's a want to feel old and we live in a simulation.
Yeah. All those things wrapped up into one.
Okay. That was great, Jake.
Wild. Thank you.
Wild indeed. All right.
Let's get to our interviews. We got Taylor Decker.
Awesome interview. AWL.
Do you think LeBron James watching that is like, please keep Delonte Westchild away from my son. Yeah.

So, yeah, we got Taylor Decker, Will Levis,

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All right, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is Taylor Decker from the Detroit Lions.
Little backstory. You weren't on our radar, and then we got a text saying you're a huge AWL.
The Lions are hot. We're yeah let's have them on so let's start with the lions being hot like the we we spent sunday night talking about how the lions are legitimately good i know you've talked about it sol same old lions gets talked about a lot in detroit are you guys legitimately a good team i would say right now yeah man i mean we're we right now.
We got that little lightning in a bottle. And, man, I said it a couple weeks ago after the Thanksgiving loss, actually, that, like, man, this isn't the same old team right now.
And my DMs got lit up about that. People were sick about me saying that.
They're like, oh, you're full of shit. You don't know.
But I'm like, like man like we're we're different man um we're rolling and and dan campbell i know you guys love dan yep i mean he was saying it all year man we were in like one score games and we were close in a lot of games and we were just like right there and uh i don't know we just figured it out recently and man it's it's sweet man yeah yeah stadium fire you you are rolling right now i i would i would agree with that 100 and after those you've had a number of close losses this year and we like we kind of joke around we said on on monday's show like what's your favorite lions one of the season mine was the three-point loss against the eagles big cats was a three-point loss against the bills um there is like there's a small element of that, though. You guys are playing legitimate Super Bowl contenders, and you're within one or two plays of beating them on a pretty consistent basis.
What has the message been after those games to make you really believe, like, this is not a fluke, we're good, as opposed to being like, oh, no, we always find a way to lose those close ones? I think Dan has been pretty consistent with his message the entire time, the entire season, even dating back to last year. You know, we'd be in some close games and we just wouldn't be able to finish it out.
And I think it just becomes a maturity thing because we are a super young team. Like I'm the longest tenured guy by like two or three years, and I'm only in my seventh year.
And it was just like, man, we just got to figure out a way to win and, like, go out there and, like, play confident, man. Just, like, don't be scared of nobody.
Like, you're out here for a reason. You're on this team for a reason.
So, just making those plays at the end of the game has been huge. Because you look at the Minnesota game this past week.
Yeah. We should have closed up the game the first time.
Yeah. Come on.
Yeah. We always like to play the game of like, okay, there's the best player on the team.
And then there's the most important player on the team. We all know that Jack Fox is the best player on the lines.
So who would you say is the most important player on the lines? Oh, man. You put me in a bind here bind here huh yeah um I mean I would say right now our quarterback is on fire man he is killing me right now and uh you need a good offensive line for that man so I think I think I play an important position but man our O-line's been good our defense has been good but I think our quarterback has been on fire right now he has and he's he's a good friend of ours has have you noticed like a change in the huddle with Jared and you know he's he's playing probably the best ball of his career have has there been like a moment where you're like oh things have started to click and he just the confidence or whatever it may be the way he's commanding the offense has there been that moment this year where it kind of turned? From a big guy's perspective, looking at it over like the past six weeks, his pocket presence and his confidence in the pocket to just sit in there and trust the protection has been like really, really good.
And if we know where he's at, we can block for him. We're a talented enough group.
And then he's just making those plays. He's making them tight window throws.
We got some receivers snagagging snagging some crazy catches and uh I think that's the biggest thing from my perspective has been him in the pocket he's been awesome in the pocket yeah especially with some of the rush groups we've been facing so you mentioned uh the Vikings game and closing that game out obviously the big pass to Panay Sewell which was awesome when you're drawing that up in practice. Did you advocate for yourself?

Were you like coach Campbell? I've caught two touchdown passes. Like, why am I not the guy getting this pass? Were you kind of pissed? Like that should have been you.
Uh, I, I wish I went, uh, so we've been riding routes in practice for like four or five weeks. I think they've been kind of tuning it up.
The whole O-line runs a pat and go where we just like run deep balls and catch them. And I think we've been doing that so we can get some catches and then the media doesn't think anything's going on.
And then that play to Panay was supposed to be in the red zone for a touchdown, but we needed just a first down in the middle of the field. And I was like man I think I think if I get three I'm like maybe leading active players and touchdowns for linemen like come on and get me or something yeah I mean it was it was an awesome play yeah it was an awesome play and when you're in the huddle with it is there like it like he calls that play does everyone's eyes light up like all right here we go like this is gonna be sick well it was set up the play before we we had panay report as an eligible tight end and uh just going a flock motion to kick out the dn on a run so we were kind of setting it up the whole game running jumbo tight ends and stuff like that and then we call that play and obviously the first down he slaps the dude after the play and then uh i mean it was his uh his son was at the game so he just had a baby not too long ago and that was the first game his son was at so i mean it's super cool for him so i was happy for him he's my guy that's a sign of maturity on your part like aging into being comfortable with being the number two receiver option on the offensive line at this point you You're like taking them under your wing.
I mean, I think my points per reception is like insane right now. I think I'm like two catches, two touchdowns, like eight yard average.
The most efficient wide receiver of all time in the NFL. Yeah.
So speaking of Jared, what are his gifts like to the offensive line? When it comes time for Christmas or the end of the season, does he get you guys like Yeti coolers or is he like a PlayStation guy? What does that look like? I think this year it's going to be kind of like a gift suite, and I've heard some of the gifts are going to be pretty top-notch, and I get to pick first. So I think one of them this year,

I think there's an ATV in it this year.

Oh,

that's awesome.

And it goes down from there.

And then,

uh,

last year I asked for,

I'm a whiskey.

I,

I asked him to get some, some Pappy Van Winkle.

Cause I can't ever find it.

Of course he can find it.

He's a quarterback.

So he got us some Pappy like 23 or something like that,

which is not easy to find. Yeah.
So I got that at my house for special occasions and stuff like that. He got us like a bunch of cigars and like personalized stuff with the Pappy and I was pumped about that because I requested it.
That's sick. He's a great dude.
You got to pop that open when you guys win a playoff game this year. Yeah, ooh.
Yeah, that's right. That's right.
So, Taylor, the best part about you reaching out and coming on and we knowing that you're an AWL is we can ask you the tough questions. So when you were at Ohio State, did Urban Meyer ever put his finger up your butt? Consensually, I guess.
Yeah, I mean, that's the thing. It's like you signed a contract by requesting to come on knowing that we're going to ask you urban meyer questions because you know the show and you know how we how we talk about urban so that was in the fine print yeah i saw that my other follow-up question was i read an article about how in uh when you were at the combine you wore sleeves because you didn't want to get asked about your tattoos was that that because you got your tattoos for free at Ohio State? Or, like, why didn't you want to be asked about your tattoos? You know, just discounted and only sold a couple things to get them.
So it was like a holiday discount or something like that. I mean, I had the tattoos out, you know.
Big white guy with tattoos, it's a good look, you know. That's why you get them.
If I wasn't playing football, I't like I'm gonna have all these tattoos yeah which do you have a tattoo that you were like trying to hide that you thought might be problematic no um I mean I'll tell you what the Lions fans up here while they do love me they hate my blocko tattoo because I can see in my uniform and they're like oh god damn it the decker guy yeah yeah you're in enemy territory up there have you have you been a little uh i mean the last two years haven't gone ohio state's way you are a tough guy you i think you like won what was the award at ohio state like the iron buckeye or something like you you won all like the toughest guy things has there been have you talked to anyone in the program being like yo why why are we playing like a seven on seven team like we gotta we gotta get tougher because michigan's they've shoved it down your throat bad yeah they've been playing a physical brand of football oddly enough i don't really know anybody at ohio state anymore like a lot of the coaches are gone that was there and obviously you know this many years into my NFL career, I don't know any players there. I don't really know anybody there anymore.
That's just kind of the nature of it. There's a big turnaround and stuff like that.
That's the problem. We've got to get you back in the program to get some toughness back.
You've got to get them homebred Ohio boys back in there. That's what you need.
Yeah. So, real question about Urban Meyer.
You know, the guy is separate from the coach, incredible coach. What was it about him like in terms of preparation or whatever it may be that made him so great? And also, speaking of the Ohio State-Michigan thing, made your teams want to beat the ever-living crap out of Michigan?

Because that's really what feels like it's lacking right now.

It's like, it doesn't feel like that urgency of, we have to crush Michigan.

What was Urban Meyer able to do to get that in that team?

I mean, I think first and foremost, recruiting's huge in college.

We know that.

Like, he was a phenomenal recruiter.

I remember on my recruiting visit, at the time I was committed to Notre Dame because Ohio State hadn't offered me. I went on my visit there and he basically just put all the rings on my fingers and stuff and was like, there's my pitch.
There's a tattoo. There's a tattoo.
There's a tattoo. Yeah.
Big ones too. Some significant tattoos.
He let you smell the room so big time recruiter and then like on top of that you go there and you're talented but they would develop the talent our coaching staff was really good and they were like fanatical about like trying to get guys better and improve in every single way possible and like i came from a small high school so when i got there i was like oh like we're we're damn near professional athletes right now like this is this is crazy so um the recruiting and and just every single day we were trying to get better and we were going to go out there we were going to try and dominate teams like it's not just oh we're going to go try and win and I mean we were good we were really good when I was in school yeah you should probably probably thank me for the Big Ten championship game, whatever year, 2015, when Ohio State needed to get into the playoff and Wisconsin did a solid one for the Big Ten and laid down and lost 59-0. That was a rig job.
You know that. You were on the field.
You knew. Thank you for your service.
No, you knew. You probably were talking to the guys across the way like hey you like you know the deal here like we got to win by a lot um so yeah yeah you're you're welcome you're welcome for that one yeah you were a martyr for that one so i appreciate that you got me that national championship ring yes it's probably a good thing you didn't go to notre dame too because people would have just thought that you were a golik yeah You give off real strong Golic vibes.

Generic white guy.

You got the beard, the tattoos.

The long-loss Golic.

Yeah, they probably would have invited you onto their podcast.

No one will ever know that you're not in the family.

I haven't got that invite yet. Yeah, so when Joe Burrow was at Ohio State,

did you know that he was the dude,

even though he was just a freshman? Could you tell uh he was just a freshman when i was there um as far as like reps on the field he didn't get a ton while i was there just because there's just so much competition at every position so didn't get a ton but in the weight room mickey marati loved the guy and uh you know any nfl executive, anything like that, like if Mick will give his seal of approval on a guy, like that's saying a lot. And you kind of have to graduate to be in his lifting group because there's so many strength coaches and you go with a specific coach.
So Mick loved that guy. So, I mean, that's kind of like, I guess, an early tell in hindsight that he was a guy.
Yeah. Yeah.
One thing that you guys have, you've had a lot of injury luck this year where the offensive line in the past for the Lions, you've had to, like, stitch things together on the season. You haven't played as a unit in this many games as you have this year.
It seems like it's been pretty consistent. I'm always curious because we talked to, like, running backs, and we talked to them about, like, the art of falling and how to fall correctly to, and how to fall correctly to minimize whether or not you're going to get injured.
Is there anything that goes into playing offensive line besides just kind of luck that keeps you healthy over the course of a season? I mean, a lot of it is just freak things. Like last year, I broke my finger.
It got caught in a penny and the dude just spun it and just snapped my finger like it was just dumb luck i mean we don't wear pennies anymore hardly so i mean i guess that helps but uh yeah you just have some freak things and like you're hitting people every play 60 70 plays and like and then in practice like offensive linemen obviously play every single play and you're playing against some some big freak athletes on the d line so some of it's. And then I think a lot of it is just like how you, how you take care of your body.
Like that becomes a full-time job. And like, as I've gotten older, I've had to like prioritize like sleep, uh, supplementation, just soft tissue stuff, uh, IVs, like whatever I possibly can.
And then like in the off season, uh, where I train there, they're very adamant about like kind of prehab stuff. Like let's do things that's going to help you move better.
Um, just so you're not injury prone and you're not stiff, like your hips are stiff and that's going to affect your back, your ankles and stuff like that. So it's kind of trial and error for everybody.
Um, and then I don't know, there is some luck that goes it, I think. I like that term, prehab.
Yeah, I need some prehab. It sounds like, yeah, I think we all do.
I think you obviously work out with Amon Ross St. Brown, and his family is known for their workout routines.
Is he like a beast in the weight room like his dad is? Because we saw him on Hard Knocks. It just seems like we joke around with the whole, like, that dude's built different.
I think he actually is built different because his dad, like, grew him in a lab to become a football player when he grew up. Yeah, man, you look at him, like, he is stacked up.
Like, he is ripped. He's got veins, muscles everywhere.
Not every receiver looks like that.

You know, obviously all the receivers are pretty lean,

but like he's built pretty good.

And we ask him to block a ton and he'll go in there

and just like saw a linebacker's head off

and he didn't even think twice about it.

Like he's impressive, especially as a young player coming in

and doing what he's done in these first two years.

Like he's a freak.

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So talking about body types, you were on Hard Knocks this year. And one of the funniest quotes was you were talking about your entire wardrobe that you have of clothes that don't fit that you're going to wear someday.
How much how big is that wardrobe? And also, like, have you thought in your head how how much weight you actually will be able to lose and how quickly you'll be able to lose it? Yeah, I would say I have a pretty extensive wardrobe of kind of hot guy things that I'm looking forward to being able to wear that they just don't sell in big guy sizes. Like right now, I'm wearing a 4X tall Carhartt shirt that's way too big.
Like I like big shirts. Right.
But yeah, I mean, I got this like leather biker jacket that I just like I don't fit in and I want to fit in it so bad like it looks so cool you see it you like look at it in the in the closet you're like someday that like yeah i have it and it's just sitting there i never wear it i got some jeans that are too tight that i don't wear i got all these like just kind of like plain shirts that they're just like, I don't know, white t-shirt. And it's just like, man, it just doesn't fit.

Like. where I got all these like just kind of like plain shirts that they're just like I don't know white t-shirt and it's just like man it just doesn't fit like I just look like a bag of milk in this thing and I need to weigh like 250 to fit in this thing so um I'm hoping my goal is to be like 260 250 260 and I think I'm gonna try and lose it pretty quick I'm gonna'm going to go off of social media.
And the next time you see me, I'm going to look ripped up once I'm done playing, hopefully. I like that.
We'll see. My wife's a chef, so it might not happen.
Yeah. It's like a vision board for your body.
It's like I'm going to visualize myself wearing these leather pants one day, and eventually your, uh, what's your diet like right now in order to, to keep that weight on during the season? Man, I just eat anything and everything. I'm typically fairly like light is like in, in, uh, regards to like my weight range.
So I'm just, I'm just eating constantly. Um, like I said, my wife's a, she's a chef and, uh, her mom's here right now helping with our baby.

So her mom's a really good cook too.

So I'm just eating anything and everything I can.

Like her whole thing is just like quality ingredients.

Like we're not going to be putting seed oils and stuff like that.

We're going to buy everything organic.

Um, and then I just, I eat stuff that I like.

It's just good ingredients and I just eat a lot of it.

So like this morning I had biscuits and gravy and it was awesome. And, just whatever I can to keep the weight on man yeah by the way you you congratulations on the baby you like the baby bump happened for for the Lions I don't know if you specifically like can feel you're playing better but you had your your first child in the late October and you guys have been ripping off wins ever since.
It's a dad's strength, man. Yeah, we've had DJ Chark had a baby.
I had one a couple weeks after Panay had one. Big V just had one.
Matt Nelson's going to have one in January. And I'm going to credit all this to – I had all the boys for my wedding in February, and I think there was some consummation of their respect in my wedding

and consummated.

It was a good party.

Wow.

That's great that you could be just like, yeah, that baby's from my wedding,

that baby's from my wedding.

Your DJ had like an awesome playlist going on.

He was playing like Pony on the dance floor.

Everybody was ovulating.

Yes.

All right, so who's the toughest guy to block in the nfl right now for you um man and i have a follow-up question but i want to hear your answer first i i think um i think both the boasts are really good i've actually personally not played them them. I played Joey in college every day, basically.
Chandler Jones, I mean, I know he's been doing it for a long time, super high level. Julio Mack and Robert Quinn.
Robert Quinn, he's only lined up on the left side, but it seems like everywhere he goes, he's handful because he's he's gonna rush the pass for every play um Everson Griffin uh especially early in my career man he was a handful I mean there's just every team's got guys every single team guys so yeah the follow-up with Khalil Mack um I was doing I was just seeing like when we've talked about you um and there was a blog from 2020 when Khalil Mack just absolutely fucking demolished you. And it was deleted from the Internet.
Did you get it deleted from the Internet? Are you like LeBron that you're trying to get your videos deleted? You got to check the tape. Oh, I saw it.
You got you. He threw you into Stafford's lap.
Frank Ragnow. God rest his soul.
I love that guy. He stepped on my foot.
So my foot. I don't know.
I'm going to show the tape to PFT and he can decide. I'm going to be the judge.
I grind film. Khalil Mack just fucking bullied you.
Oh, man. He bullied you.
Oh, man. And then you got it deleted off the internet.
I understand why you would get that erased. Yeah.
You called up Al Gore. You were like, get this off.
You know, you got to make some phone calls. You got to make some phone calls.
He bullied you. You know, thanks for that, guys.
I appreciate the pub. That is tough, though, because with offensive line play, like, we don't know what we're talking about when we watch offensive linemen.
Like, if somebody falls down, we're like, oh, that's that guy's fault fault for doing it but there's a lot that goes into it um is there anything like any uh any analyst out there that you think okay this dude actually is one to listen to when it comes to talking about offensive line play good question um yeah great question uh i think you just look at any analyst that's played offensive line really um i mean because there's every other position has their stats and things that you can go off of, you know, receptions, touchdowns, completion percentage, sacks, tackles, interceptions, whatever. And offensive linemen, really the only stat that people look at for them is sacks, and that's about it.
And then everything else is team stats. So I think if it's a guy that's played, I think he's great to listen to.
Like us here in Detroit right now, TJ does a lot of stuff for us and he played. So he gets it.
And there's guys on some of those bigger broadcasts that played. I know Joe Thomas is on there now and I think I've seen Andrew Whitworth doing some stuff now.
So I think guys that played the position, because it's a unique position, not the sexy position, but they understand it. Yeah, we need to figure out a stat for offensive linemen, like a positive stat.
Because you're right, every other position does have something where you can be like, oh, this dude leads the league in X, Y, Z, whatever it is. But there's nothing like it's hard to count pancakes for offensive linemen because there's just so much that goes into play.
Some guy might be chipping. You might have help.
We need to figure out that stuff. Yeah, there's a lot of nuance, man.
There's just a ton of nuance because like, oh, did this guy get pancaked or did somebody trip or was he supposed to block that guy or was somebody else supposed to block that guy? Was the play called the wrong way? Was the quarterback at the depth of the pocket like i was talking about like jared's been great in the pocket was the coverage good like there's just so much that goes into it so i mean it's kind of our stats are team stats basically we should figure out a way to keep track of like number of holds that you get away with to me that feels like the best stat possible for an offensive lineman oh i'm probably i gotta be top in the league and in the league and getting away with false starts. I got to be.
Oh, really? How do you get away with those? You just – are you slow? If you false start on every play, they can't call it on every play. That's a fact.
That's a good point. They're just like, no, that's just how – yeah, that's when the – yeah, they just think that's when the ball got snapped is just off of you.
100%. When we're on the road and we get off the head, Bob, I'm dancing on the line about every single snap.
But they can't come out of it. The refs think that you're just, like, that fast.
That you go off, you're, like, even faster than the – like, the second the ball starts to move, they're like, that guy's all over it. Yeah, and now that I said that, I'm probably going to get, like, six false starts this starts.
Oh, man. That would suck.
If you're ranking toughest things to block against, so this is obviously the best ones have all three, but what is the toughest thing to block against? Speed, strength, or bendability? I would say number one thing, if they're good good at timing the snap would be speed okay snap timing snap timing is everything that's why i try to get off on the snap like that's my number one uh advantage i think is getting off on the snap well and then bendability like like we got a young dude right now who i've been blocking him in practice all year james houston and he's been on a tear lately. And, man, his bend is crazy.
And some guys just have it. Like they can just bend.
They got those gumby ankles and can just bend the edge. And I was like, man, why isn't this guy playing? Like he should be playing.
Like because there'd be, you know, once or twice a week where he hit a move on me and it was a real move and he really got me. So, you know, it's speed.
If you can time the snap really well and then bend ability a hundred percent. So strength, like you can block for strength.
Everyone can block for strength in the NFL. You're saying it's, it's when you get the combo of the other two things.
Yeah. I mean, strength is good to have a blend with it.
But I would say a lot of offensive linemen, if it's up to them, they eat bull rushes all day yeah because if you just run me and then it's just uh you know just wrestling the grizzly bear uh i mean it's it's not easy to do but if you know a guy's a power guy you know what to expect yeah and you can just kind of sit in a bull rush that's a good answer how hard is it at the end of a game or at the end of a half when you get a big chunk of yards and you guys have to sprint down the field and then get immediately into your stance to spike the ball to kick a field goal oh it's the worst and the quarterback will be freaking out yelling clock clock clock and his voice is cracking and uh man that that's the that's the longest you're gonna run because if i'm running more than 10 yards, either something really good happened or something bad happened. So, yeah, I don't like that.
That's not my favorite. Similar to that, and I love asking this question, is there a number play in a play drive where you can feel like the defense is like they're gassed, they're quitting? Is it like if a drive gets to 8, 9, 10, is there a spot that it's like, yeah, if we get to this point, we'll just keep leaning on them, leaning on them, leaning on them, and they can't do anything? I think right when you get around six, seven plays, you get a first down and you're grinding some runs on them, and if the same D line is on the field, because they have to chase the ball Right.
Like they have to run after the ball every play. I think they start getting worn down, especially if you can keep them on the field.
I mean, long play drives. I mean, they suck as a, as an offensive player, but they're, I think they're way harder on the defense.
So I think once you start to get to six, seven, if you keep rolling and you get like, we've had drives that have been 18-19 play drives for a touchdown, and that's like brutal on a defense. Yeah.
So – I think I asked Nick Mangold that, and his answer was it's not even the plays. It's when you get to the 40.
When you get to the 40, it's like that's when the defense starts to be like, oh, fuck. Like, you know, if you're saying like a regular drive starts at the 20 off kickoff or 25, whatever, like that's when it starts to be, oh, man, like we're really getting punished here.
Yeah, I mean, that's a good point because at that point you're either going to be getting in distance for a field goal. You're going to be able to flip the field or you're going to score a touchdown.
So, yeah, because field position is like huge and obviously football. So, I mean, yeah, because that point they've got to make a play.
They need to get a stop right there on the 40 or they need to get a sack to knock us out of the range or whatever it may be. So I would agree with that answer.
We saw at the start of the season your coach, Dan Campbell, who we love, setting the tone, being like, okay, this season we're going to base this on a Metallica song, No Leaf Clover. The soothing light at the end of the tunnel might be a freight train coming your way.
Has he stuck with that Metallica song, or does he switch it up week to week? Is there a hard rock, heavy metal song of the week that he bases that week's theme off of? Are we still staying with that one? I wish there was a song week to week but i mean he's he's pretty consistent and he's pretty consistent with that he does like his heavy metal songs he's talked about some tool songs and stuff and uh and team meetings and stuff like that but i would say that message is pretty consistent like he like right now we're in a basically a one game season every week because we kind of dug ourselves into the hole that we that we got in and we've been you know trying to slowly climb our way out of it the past six weeks so um yeah he's pretty consistent with that how often does he cry he he's emotionally invested in us i'll say that like and you gotta love that man because i mean i've had games i remember after the uh Our first win last year against minnesota it was like man this this year so i cried i cried walking off the field just because i'm like you just invest so much into this like your time away from your family like now i have a child and i'm spending time away from them like time away from friends whatever it may be you sacrifice so much and so it means a lot to, yeah, I mean, he is emotionally invested in it. And you can tell that he wishes he could still be like be out there playing with us, like as do a lot of which is like Deuce Staley.
Deuce Staley is intense, man. And you love it.
You love it as a player. Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, we saw him.
Dan was doing up downs at the start of training camp this year. Is he still working out with you guys? I'm sure he works out pretty early in the day.
But, I mean, he looks good, man. He looks good.
I think he wears some tighter shirts on purpose. That's going to be me when I retire.
He's got the delts, the shoulders. Like, yeah, he looks good, man.
He does. All right, so I have one last question.
It's a rowback question. R-H-O-B-c-k.com use code take for 20 off your first purchase q-zips polos hoodies joggers the joggers are phenomenal 20 off roback.com use promo code take this has been awesome taylor we really appreciate it um the last question i have is urban meyer sad pizza you were on the The sad pizza happened.
What was the locker room talking about after? They're like, oh, man, should we buy Coach like a get well soon card? Should we give him a hug? Like, man, he can't be eating this sad pizza in a golf cart. Like, what was the response to the sad pizza, which is one of my favorite pictures of all time i think we were all having sad pizza man no but he was having the saddest pizza no come on yeah man he uh when we when we would lose the few times we would lose man that would it would shake him to his core man like he would be walking around and you could tell he was just like in another space like he hated losing so much like walking around the building and uh us as players is like man we gotta we gotta pull him out of it because like we got a game this week like we gotta we gotta go play again so i mean he was just he was just like an ultimately he just loved winning so much and it would just shake him to his core because he'd be different around the building, 100%.
Yeah. That's awesome.
Well, we're rooting for you, man. We are.
I got one more thing for you guys. Yeah.
Frank Ragnow wanted you to ask me about appendicitis. Oh, tell me about your appendicitis.
That was my next question. Also, the Roback question.
I'm wearing their joggers right now. This question is presented by Roback.
Tell me about the appendicitis. And wait, Frank is on the Broncos now, right? No, that's Graham Glasgow.
Oh, Graham Glasgow. Yeah, Graham Glasgow.
We saw Graham at training camp out in Denver. But your appendicitis.
I was actually very curious to hear about that. Yeah, thanks.
Great question. I'm glad Frank was able to get to you on that.
I've been telling Frank to leak this to the media for years and he never did it.

So he said he was going to tell you guys to ask me about it.

So shout out to Frank for telling you guys.

Yeah, I've been I've actually I had it in my notes.

Frank Ragnall's appendicitis.

I did talk about it. I actually asked you about it, but it was earlier and we were accidentally on mute.

So you didn't hear it.

Yeah, because I've been thinking like every time I watch the lines i'm like did frank have appendicitis unfortunately frank did not have appendicitis all right i'm gonna take you on a little story so in 2020 at the end of training camp i had just signed my contract extension um we were playing the bears week one and the the Friday before the game, I woke up in the middle of the night, sweating, shivering. My stomach hurts so bad.
And I was like, I don't know what's going on. Like, am I constipated? Like, did I have too much Jets pizza? So I just felt terrible, man.
I was just sweating, going crazy, like shivering. I was

just sitting in the shower. And then I was like, I can't tell anybody about this.
I just signed a

contract extension. Like I have to play, like I got to play.
So I just like dealt with it,

played in the game on Sunday. And then I told the team Wednesday, I'm like, Hey, I don't feel good.

Like something's going on with my stomach or my side or something like that. So they had me go

Thank you. the team Wednesday I'm like hey I don't feel good like something's going on with my stomach or my side or something like that so they had me go get like a cat scan or something like that and they're like oh yeah you have appendicitis like you've had it for a week like you should have told us told us this sooner and I was like well I can't not play like I just signed a contract extension like I can't be the guy that signs a contract and not play so uh they put me on antibiotics that like i basically had appendicitis for the first month of the season and the antibiotics made it go away it was kind of wait wait do you still have your appendix yeah i didn't get it taken out i just took antibiotics you just willed your way out of appendicitis i thought i was constipated and I was like, I can't tell the – I just like, what is going on? My stomach's killing me.
Wait, what season was this? You shat out your appendix. Yeah.
Yeah, pretty much. 22 million.
Oh, wait. So was this when Khalil Mack bullied you? No.
No, no, no. Oh, he bullied you later in the year.
No, no, no. That was like two years before.
That was just a young pup. No, he bullied you in 2020.
That's so it might have been. Oh, he bullied you later in the year.
No, no, no. That was like two years before.
No, he bullied you in 2020. So it might have been.
Oh, he bullied you a lot. So that's fine.
But he might have bullied a man who had appendicitis. Is it possible for you to get it again? Or is your appendix fully healed because you got through it? No, if I get it again, I have to get it taken out.
That's basically what I was told.

So you're just living, you're a ticking time bomb.

You got that dog in you.

Yeah, man, just built different, you know.

That's crazy.

This is what it is. That's insane that we were able to, like,

that our journalist instinct was able to bring this up

and find out about this.

To all the listeners out there, if you have appendicitis,

you should probably go to a hospital, though,

and get your appendix taken out. No, no.
I disagree. Antibiotics and keep playing.
You should play. You have two options.
One, you either start against the Chicago Bears. And get bullied by Khalil back.
Or two, you get your appendix out. It's one or the other.
Man, we got the Bears number recently. They stink't know yeah they stink yeah okay cool they stink that's not cool i mean it's cool they stink you said it yeah no i know they stink they they stink i wish there was antibiotics for the bears they stink sorry man yeah if i could give you a hug i would but yeah so so appendicitis you played with it what a beast what a beast you actually you beat evolution yeah yeah pretty much I mean you know it took Frank like three years to get this out but I'm glad he finally did so yeah you know I'm gonna say it like hearing this story I think now you're a hall of famer because you can't really tell the story of football without the story of of taylor decker's appendicitis it's true gold jacket incoming oh man well taylor thank you man we are rooting for you we are yeah appreciate you coming on man and uh if it comes down to it i've already said that i'll i'll sacrifice the commanders in the playoffs for the lions if that's what it means yeah man i don't know how the whole algorithm works out i don't because i i mean we have the tiebreaker against i don't know how that shit works out you're sniffing around right now you you're not out like you said it's week by week take care of your business and uh it could happen and that's what i'm really rooting for yeah yeah man it's gonna be a fun last four weeks of the season and shout out you by the way for uh anyone any awLs who are playing in the NFL right now or listening.
It's always the best when we have people come on the show that know the show. So we appreciate you reaching out.
And anyone else, I'm trying to think who is – Dak, Dak, you should probably reach out and come back on because we know you listen every show. Big time AWL.
There's a ton of listeners. You know it.

Oh, yeah.

If any officials listen, if any referees listen,

you got to keep it in-house.

You can't call them on false starts.

Don't be.

Listen, this was a trust tree.

Be cool.

This is a trust tree.

This is going to suck if you get any false starts on Sunday.

I'm going to blame myself so bad.

If I do, I'm going to be waiting for the blog.

I'll read it.

Yes. All right, man.
Thank you so much. Appreciate it.
Taylor Decker is brought to you by our great friends over at Skrill. You need a faster way to pay and play online? Well, today's episode is sponsored by Skrill, the digital wallet built for betting.
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Please use responsibly. And now here's Will Levis.
And now for something completely different. Okay, we now welcome on recurring guests because you were on with us at Kentucky Sports Radio.
It is Kentucky quarterback Will Levis, who is about to be in the NFL draft. Big time AWL.
Long time listener. We're a fan of his.
He's a fan of ours. We hope he has great success in the NFL.
We're going to do one question with a quarterback in person. First time we've ever done one question in person so will uh my question is Graham Mertz is going to Kentucky can you give him uh some recommendations on uh where to eat and also how to play good football because I would like to see him be successful that's a good question yeah is this confirmed I'm pretty sure it's confirmed i haven't seen any news about that so that's news to me let's just pretend all right so if graham mertz were going to kentucky what where would he eat and how would he play good football that's two questions shit well first of all thank you so much for having me on again it's really cool to be referred to as a recurring guest yeah i've heard so many other people been referred to as so that's really cool but yeah i mean there's definitely not a shortage of good food in lexington um i'd i'd first say from a steakhouse for steakhouses i go to malone's that's where i went every sunday with my offensive line not jeff ruby's i was going to say jeff ruby's after that i think i'm i am uh a little bit biased in that i did have a deal with malone's to okay bring the old line ruby nope not fuck jeff ruby i'm a i'm a big friend of jeff ruby as well and he's got an excellent restaurant but um malone's and jeff ruby's can't go wrong with either of those steakhouses um big fan of carson's downtown good brunch southern place.
You're always going to get a good meal there.

And for breakfast, you've got to go to Josie's in Chevy Chase Plaza. We go there almost every Sunday after games with me and my family when we go.
He's definitely not going to have a problem having success there. I'm aware of his game.
I know him well. I'm familiar with your game, young man.
Sorry? I'm familiar with your game, young man. Yeah, familiar with your game, young man.
But I've talked to him a little bit recently just to kind of give him some inside look at what Kentucky football looks like, and he seems to like it, as I think any quarterback in the country should. Okay, good.
Good answer. Also, just a cheat code.
If you just talk about food places in a city, everyone's going to be like, that's awesome. He likes that place.
That was the first thing I talked about with him. I like listen i came from penn state which quite frankly does not have any good food and that was a big kind of knock on it and um coming to kentucky was a was a grud change of change of pace yeah max hates you right now max is like max hates every guest because we've we've been on a streak recently of guests just hitting on on the state of pennsylvania yeah i mean penn state just doesn't have great food that's that's that's okay this is not a question but it's i just would like to say it's a good thing that you said that you take your offensive line places to eat i think that's good that's a good that's a good stock up i will i will say that i got inspired by kenny pickett i think he was the first guy that announced to do something like that and i was like that's really cool yeah it my first year starting.
Hopefully I can get something similar happening. So props to Kenny.
I know he's also a recurring guest. Yes.
Love it. Pretty good friend of mine.
So thank you, Kenny. Take care of the guys up front.
They'll take care of you. Also, I want to retract fuck Jeff Ruby because I actually met him.
He's a really nice guy. Okay.
My question is, you're a big mayo boy. Love the mayo.
Yep. I'm a big mayo boy too I think we're all in this room, fans of the mayonnaise.
What's your favorite thing to put mayonnaise on? That's a good question. I'm probably going to have to go with any kind of club or deli sandwich.
I think you can't have one of those sandwiches without having some mayo on it. Yeah.
I mean, I'm not going to give out any free sponsorships, but I'm a big Hellman's guy. Uh, not a believer in the, in Miracle Whip.
Okay. But, uh, no free sponsorships.
Yeah. Yep.
You know, just like any kind of regular mayo on, on a classic club like Turkey, bacon, cheese, lettuce, tomato, mayo. Yeah.
Can't go wrong. Now you're talking my language.
People that are anti-mayo. I think they're, they're idiots.
They're think they're idiots. They're doing a performance out here.
Try eating a dry sandwich and then get back to me. Also, fun little holiday treat, do a little mayo nog.
Just mayonnaise and whiskey. That's it.
Give it a shot. Mayo coffee.
I don't know if I'll be trying that. Give it a shot.
Give it a shot. I think you'll like it.
Isn't it mayo coffee? Yeah, you drank mayo coffee. You drank mayo coffee.

I did.

If I were in your position, I would not be looking down my nose at mayo nog.

Yeah, that's a fair point.

I might have to give it a shot.

Or mayo mac.

It's just macaroni and mayonnaise.

Yeah.

A winter treat for the whole family.

No cheese, just macaroni?

I mean, just mayo?

You bake it up real nice, you won't even miss the cheese.

Yeah.

Trust me.

All right, Billy, I love when a quarterback comes in like you will,

and Billy just sizes you up, and it's like, oh, this could have been me.

He did get a good job. Make it up real nice.
He won't even miss the cheese. Trust me.
All right, Billy. I love when a quarterback comes in like you, Will,

and Billy just sizes you up, and it's like,

oh, this could have been me.

You did get a little close to me.

He's looking me up and down a little bit.

All right, Billy, go ahead.

All right, so Kool-Aid McKinstry, Jalen Hyatt.

They all got NIL deals linked to their names.

I know it's pronounced differently,

but how come we didn't get a Will Levi's? Unreal.

I tweeted at him and everything. I tried my best.
I tried to make it happen. Um, that's crazy.
Never, never, nothing ever came about it. I mean, I'm not going to hold it against him if they want to do something at the next level, but I feel like it just makes sense.
Um, I just, I had friends call me blue jeans. I mean, I, uh, Levi's Levis, people pronounce my last name likevi's all the time because of the name uh connection but uh it just makes sense you know i mean i feel like they'd be crazy to not make it happen i'm also um a levi's wearer i mean i only have a couple pairs of jeans and they're like both pair they're levi's so i mean it makes sense and levi's if you're listening hit me up yeah or billy i'm talking to billy about sorry he could change his last name to Muggsy.
Will Muggsy. Muggsy would hook him up.
I guarantee. Superior Gene.
Muggsy, get the clutch genes at Muggsy.com. Careful, whenever Billy starts talking about superior genes, that's usually the time when you have to cut him off.
All right, Jake? Yeah, hey, Will. Jake Marsh, part of my Take Podcast.
You're a notable AWL. It's always cool when we see the athletes we're talking about listen to us.
So my question is, when was the last time, if at all, you listened to part of my take on a game day? Game day, I watched. I swear I was bad at text Big Cat before it, but it wasn't my last game, but the Georgia game, I was listening to the episode from that friday on the field as i was warming up hell yeah and i don't i'm not like a pre-game kind of like um superstition type of guy like sometimes i listen to music but usually i'm caught up at that point usually i'd listen to the friday episode and i hadn't finished it so i'm like all right well i mean i have no other choice now so um yeah i i have done that and i I hadn't finished it.
So I was like, all right, well, I mean, I have no other choice now. So, yeah, I have done that.
And I feel like not many other guys are listening to podcasts pregame. I like that because you were like, before I played Georgia, I got to double check to make sure Hank, in fact, did not get the lottery ball correct.
Yep. Before taking on the number one team in the country, that's the latest thing on your mind.
I think that Hank's failing yet again. I I think that Hank's failing yet again.
That's one of the cooler... Oh, we'll let you do it.
Oh, no, I'm saying cooler promo things you guys have done recently with having a fan compete as well. And if they get it before Hank, you guys pay him.
That's going to be awesome to see how that plays out. At the end of this, we'll do one with you.
Yes, please. Because Hank's not even in here, so it'll be great.
I feel like if you listen to the Dungeons & Dragons episode before a game, get that would get me really pumped yeah i've listened she knows a little bit about tim so i mean uh he's a legend yeah he is one of our favorite people in the entire world absolutely um all right max i actually do have a question okay i normally i normally get texted questions um when you were at penn state quarterback room with Sean Clifford what was it like when you just like you just knew you were better than him I mean I obviously always thought that with the confidence that I have and I feel like every quarterback's got to have that kind of mindset if they want to be successful but I mean it was tough man it's tough to be the one position other than kicker and punter and long snapper that is, I think, if I'm, yeah, that no one else plays, you know? No one else is rotating. There's only one person on the field at one time.
And even if you're just the hair behind the guy that's starting, you're not going to get reps unless it's the guy gets hurt or it's a blowout, whatever. So, I mean, it was a tough situation.
I mean, I kind of just kind of had to put my head

down and just keep working. And then when the kind of opportunity and realization came that

transferring would probably be the best opportunity for me, then I just kind of went with my gut and

went there. But Sean and I are excellent friends.
I just announced I declared yesterday. He was one

of the first people to hit me up and say congrats and everything. And we love each other.
And I

We'll be right back. went theirs but sean and i are excellent friends he i declared or i just announced i declared yesterday he was one of the first people to hit me up and say uh congrats and everything and we love each other and i wish him the best in everything that he's doing and he wishes me the best as well shit i didn't text you that's a good question max but i mean i knew you were going to declare yeah oh yeah i think i was going to declare i didn't know if i was going to play in the bowl game or not.
Oh, okay. All right.
Wait. Congrats.
Thank you.

Congrats on declaring. Thank you.

Yes.

Yes.

Declaring.

Memes.

So it's going to be a big story.

So let's get in front of it.

Memes, be more obvious than reading your books.

So it's going to be a good story.

Wait, Memes.

Memes, put the camera on yourself.

Yeah.

Memes, be a little natural here.

There we go.

Just ask it out whoever you would want to ask it. Okay? What's your hand size? Okay, there we go.
Yeah. That is going to be a big story.
Yeah. They're big.
I haven't. Do you guys have a ruler in there? Wait, wait, wait.
We can use the iPhone measurement tool. Yeah.
I do know I have big hands. I think it's anywhere between 10 and a quarter and 10 and a half.
Whoa. So I knew that I would have had, I think, one of the bigger hands in the draft class last year.
All right, we're doing this live on air. This is going to be – Hey, but don't you stretch it.
You get to put it on the – All right, there we go. So when they report this after the combine, just please credit part of my take because we had it first.
Will Levis' hand size. PFT's doing the calculations.
All right. We got official measurement.
Official measurement. Here it comes.
Ten and a half. They're huge.
Whoa. Those are fucking massive.
They're huge. And trust me, my phone sometimes makes things not as long as you would think when you measure them.
So it's a legit 10 and a half. Billy just looked up at his hands.
He's like, yeah, I'm about that. I got 10s.
I got 10s. Do you? Yeah, that's actually not that big.
Okay. All right.
10 and a half is like, okay, so he takes his offensive lineman out to dinners and he's got big hands. We're like half.
Likes mayo. Loves we're 75% of the way to like draft will Levis.com.
Yes. Oh, it might happen.
It might happen. All right.
So will you have one question for us? Oh, I do. Um, Hmm.
I should have known that this was a possibility, but anything just be a thought starter. No, no, no.
I would say if you guys had to kick someone off of a podcast in the room, who would it be? Billy. That was the obvious answer.
Good question. Because I had to kick one guy out of my draft board.
Yeah, you're going to get dinged in Billy's quarterback bracket now. His quarterback bracket is – It's influential.
There was a week in time where his quarterback bracket actually looked correct, where Sam Ellinger started and Trevor Lawrence was struggling. So that will be his quarterback bracket.
I'm excited for the next year. You maybe made a very powerful enemy in Billy Football, actually.
I didn't say it. They did.
You set us up, though.

Come on.

You knew.

All right.

So you want to do numbers?

Yes, please.

I'll go 17.

I was literally going to 17.

You go 17.

You go 17.

Is this official?

Yeah, this is official.

Okay.

But Hank's not here.

Hank's not here.

I mean, it doesn't count for him.

But where is Hank?

So we're not including Sebastian.

Will, you get 17.

Yeah.

I'm going to do 29.

Okay.

18.

Okay.

20.

Three for memes.

Billy, you have 69.

I will do, what was your number?

17.

No, in college?

Seven.

It was 17 my freshman year and then seven the last four years.

I'll do seven.

All right.

Wow, if you got 17, Will, this would be something else. I hope it's 17.
69? No. Where's that? 68? 68.
68. Hasn't 68 won recently, Jake? 68.
Hank never would have gotten it, just so everyone knows. Yeah.
Hank never would have gotten this one. No shot.
October 23rd. Okay.
That's pretty recent. Yeah, that's pretty recent.
The sixth time. Yeah.
All right. Well, Will, thank you.
One question for the quarterback. We're rooting for you, and you're a recurring guest, so you have to come back on when you get drafted.
And, yeah, best of luck, man. Thank you so much.
Yeah, appreciate it. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.
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Okay, let's wrap up. We got guys on chicks.
We'll have Hank join on the Zoom for the ping pong ball. Wouldn't that be bittersweet if he won while he wasn't even here? There's no way he's going to believe it.
I'm actually legitimately rooting for him this time. It'd be incredible.
Because it would be so great. And let's just say if he wins, yeah, okay, he'll be great.
He's also going to, if he does win, because he does have a fever right now, he's going to fall asleep and then wake up later and not know if he actually won or not. He's going to be like Grandpa Joe.
Yeah. Jump out of bed.
People are going to be like, are they fucking with us? Are they doing Grandpa Joe references, seeing how many can get in here. It's like the fourth time we said his name.
Well, it's Hank. That's what they're calling him.
He's Grandpa Joe. G.J.
Yeah, G.J. G.J.
Lockwood. G.J.
is actually a great, like, I think it's a name that's never been used before, but it sounds like it could be like a grandpa's name. Yeah.
Or like an uncle. Yeah.
Oh, that's my G.J. Yeah.
All right. Memes, take it away uh all right memes take it away little enthusiasm this one's for father whoa there we go me i just had a baby any helpful tips to survive the first few weeks slash months of parenthood uh yeah figure it out yourself dude i know people always ask for tips and it's's like, I hate the parenting tips.

I think that it's like the weirdest thing to tell someone else how to parent. Yeah, the first few months are a bear.
I actually have a, I guess I'll say it right now, it's going to be my fire fest, but my son is three and a half, and he is now decided when he wants to get up every morning. and let me tell you something there is no scare in the world like being dead asleep at 5 30 in the morning and having a three and a half year old just tap your forehead because that's happened two mornings in a row now where he just is literally like six inches from my face and he's just like dad i'm ready to get up i'm just like what the fuck dude go back to bed you know you know what irritates me is um people that say like there's no book that you get when you raise a kid there's no book about parenting there's millions of there's so many that's like one of the biggest types of book and then you read it all and then you don't do any of it because you just figured out yourself they don't give you a book it is it is kind of crazy to think that when you leave a hospital, they just hand you a baby.

Oh, dude.

And they say, here you go.

And then now it's like, that's your baby. I tell people the two pieces of advice I give them is don't take anyone's advice because it's bullshit.
And they're just going to try to shame you and being like parenting is the hardest thing and the worst thing. It is hard, but it's the best thing.
And the second is there will be a moment when you get home that the most panic you've ever had in your entire life will wash over you and being like, oh, my God, like there's no expert around. Now, there's no person who's supposed to be.
I am the person who is supposed to be keeping this thing alive. That will be a very anxious, panic inducing moment.
And then it will pass. The thing you have in that room next to you, yeah, you're responsible for it for its entire life.
It needs you for everything. I've raised a dog, so I pretty much understand exactly what it's like.
Yeah, exactly. Hey, PMT fellows.
My husband listens to your podcast while showering, and every time before he hops in the shower, he says, about to go shower with the boys. Yeah, cool.
How do I get him to stop saying that? No, that's good. There's nothing more masculine than showering with a bunch of dudes.
It's like after football, you know? Right back in the shower. Can you respond to this person and get this guy's name? I want to, at the beginning of one episode, be like, hey, Ryan, make sure you fucking clean that ass cheek, bro.
Some dingleberries in there. Shower with the boys.
Ryan, looks like it's hanging low and lazy, my guy. We should do a podcast.
You've been working out, Ryan? While we're showering once. You've been working out? Yeah.
I mean, there's no better, more cohesive team-building environment than in the locker room, right? Right. Shower with the boys.
It's just locker room talk. Hey, Ryan, suck my dick.
Hey, Ryan. Oneyan one more tug on that thing you're gonna have to finish it off buddy yeah you gotta make a decision here are you really jerking off in the shower or not three times just play with yourself ryan oh that's the other thing my son just watches me shower that's cool too he's just like he's like i want to go with you and then i just stand there and he's just looking at me.
He's like, you're peeing. Yeah, taking a shower, dude.
It's fun. It's fun.
This is bonding shit. Hey, PMT, more of a curiosity than a problem.
But I'm wondering why my boyfriend always has his hands in his pants when he's laying down or relaxing. If it's due to his hands being cold, I just feel like there are a lot of other places you could put them to be warm.
When I ask him, he tells me he's always done it and he's not going to stop. Is this a normal guy thing? What's the purpose? I think it is a guy thing.
I don't really understand from an evolutionary standpoint why every guy does this. I think just to check to make sure it's still there yeah it's also just fun to just like hold it sometimes yeah like it's i don't know it's just like i don't even i i would say half the time i have my hands on my pants if someone walked in was like you have your hands on your pants like what i do oh shit like i don't even it's like breathing yeah just well also because it's it's itchy a lot you You got, like, skin.
No, I'm talking about, like, you know, your nutsack sticking to the side of your leg. Yeah, sometimes you got to do the pinch and roll move.
Yeah. Things, you have to make a lot of adjustments on the go.
Yeah. There is one person on our podcast who's a big hands down the pants guy or adjusting guy.
It's Max. Max, you are, maybe you're the most most qualified person should we just say it out loud like max you touch you touch your genitals a lot i do that's been a huge problem with me my whole life have you ever done it in like a professional situation i don't know probably i don't know what i'm doing yeah everyone i've been across has always given me it's a guy thing yeah it's It's comfortable.
It is. If you're laying down on the couch, you're having a better time if your hand's down your face.
That's a good point. Yeah, that's true.
We should test everyone else's to see who's got the most comfortable. Have you guys talked about this before? Because I always thought this, but never said it.
About what? About Max touching himself. He's just a ball scratcher guy there's like a few things that you just pick up like max touches himself uh hank always showing ass crack yeah like those are just the little things that we spend so much time with each other you just pick up your little idiosyncrasies like we've all got weird stuff i don't want you to die but if you someday die it will just be like oh man like max would be sitting right there with his hands down his pants.

I miss that guy.

Yeah, it's true.

It's true.

See, I don't even think about it.

It's just a thing.

We'll bury you with your hand down your pants.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hi to my fave guys.

Why do men get so intimidated when the mic's on?

All right.

When you got this memes.

When women actually know sports.

I know more about sports, specifically football, than the majority of men I know. Definitely more than Max.
Anytime I start talking, they either look at me like I'm an alien or try to dismiss me. Sorry, what was that? Like you're trying to dismiss me? Yeah.
They look at me like I'm an alien or try to dismiss me as if what I'm saying isn't 100% correct.

Why can't they just accept that it's 2022 and women actually watch sports now? It's an insecurity thing. They'd rather get mad at you for knowing more about ball than they do than to have to deal with the fact that they need to up their ball knowing.
It's also we're very dumb. and the one thing that the majority of guys can fall back on

is like explaining to some women, not all women because a lot of women know ball, but some women and some podcast producers explaining to them football. It makes us feel smart when we explain things to other people, and I would say the majority of guys are not smart in anything except the sports that they obsessively watch.
So it's like a safety net. But, yeah, it's mostly insecurity.
It does feel good, though, if a woman says to you, wait, why wasn't that pass interference? And you're like, well, because the ball was stiff at the line scrimmage. And so the defense can hit each other at that point.
Or why did Tyreek Hill get to returnumble it's like well you can return a fumble yeah like those conversations happen yeah right unless unless it's uh fourth down yeah and there's less than two minutes left in the game yeah so but it's uh yeah it's it the the the short very short answer is guys are assholes and insecure okay that's actually the answer to every guys on chicks question yeah keep, keep no involved because that's fucking cool. And it's actually a great test because you will find your future boyfriend.
Husband is the guy who's not insecure, who actually enjoys that, who, who could put his ego aside and just be a regular person. I was actually a winner.
I was actually about to say, I'd love to hear this person's takes. Yeah.
Just like, cause it's like interesting. Cause we only watch sports around dudes.
Oh, you're like, oh, a woman knows ball? You're like studying her like she's an anomaly? Well, I just want to hear her takes. Yeah, it'd be funny if her boyfriend actually hated football.
Are you trying to make her airtight? No, I'm just saying that. Are you trying to gangbang? Realistically, I only talk sports around you guys because that's where we're watching football.
Right i kind of don't want you know females work here we have we have female co-workers i don't work i'm on multiple i'm on multiple shows with females well i'm not sports i'm not yes you are you're on shows with women but jake's right there billy do you forget we're really falling apart billy do do you forget what shows you're on? Do you forget who your coworkers are? When I'm on sports podcasts or sports shows. All right, so you should come sit into a college football show or a pro football show with Casey.
I would love to. Yeah, she's great at her job.
You would be so intimidated, Billy. Yeah.
You'd be so scared. No, I'd actually want to hear.
We should do a podcast where it's just Billy trying not to be afraid around a girl. You should talk to Katie Statz.
Katie Statz knows more about football than everyone in this room. I know.
So she's fucking awesome at her job. So let's have a one-on-one with her.
I want to see the female perspective applied to football. It's the same as the male.
What do you think? What do you think the female perspective would be on football?

I'm curious to know what that means.

Let's unpack that a little bit.

Billy, what do you mean?

Billy thinks a female perspective is literally like every sack on the quarterback should be roughing the passer.

That was too hard.

Like, I don't know.

Yeah, no, keep going.

Everyone's got a unique perspective.

Yeah, like why doesn't that guy tuck in his jersey His fashion's all off It would be the same This woman who wrote in Probably knows ball Just like us It would have a regular conversation Those Dolphins uniforms Look way too pretty to win in the snow in Buffalo After Actually, to communicate what I'm actually trying to say is that most basic bros have the same takes, and I'd like to see if everyone... Everyone says Zach Wilson's passing.
You see, that's why there's non-basic bros. Got it, got it.
Yeah, it's actually good that your takes are so bad. Yeah, no, I agree.
This is the most guys on chicks guys on chicks of all time. Okay.
All right, we got one more. One more.
Hey, PMT guys. I have a question regarding my boyfriend.
Major fan of you to a point. It is a little creepy, honestly.
We have been together for almost two years now, and we have our relationship at a very steady point. We always have one question that we can never find the answer to so i figured i would ask for your opinion has hank ever guessed a lot of all right please help me find the answer to this well let's find out do we have him okay he's here hank uh we just finished guys on chicks the last question was wondering if you've ever gotten the ping pong ball lottery machine correct have you no no i have not you've never gotten it no i also had a friend who hit me up and was like we should give you extra spins of the machine but every time you spin you have to take away a vacation day well that's impossible because i'm not allowed to get any so oh okay all right so all.
So that idea is out. Also, according to Hank's policies,

we have unlimited vacation days at Bristol.

Yeah, it's true.

It's just the overlords named Big Cat and BFT

don't allow anyone to enjoy those.

The overlords?

You're our boss.

You are literally our boss.

You're literally our boss.

Oh, man, he's sick.

Okay, Hank, you had an idea for this?

What were you going to say?

Yeah, I have a proposition

because I was thinking about it.

I know I'm due. No, no, no, no, no.
No no you're not let hank cook but he's not due i just wanted that's a point of order no you're not no he's trying he's trying to like put the pressure on us right now no i'm not i actually think they kind of like this i don't want when i win i want to win in your guy's face i don't want it to be when i'm sick with no voice well you're not going to win today So what are we even talking about Can I offer my proposition Or just do you want to shut it down with me It's all based on the fact that you're due And that you're going to win today Lord give me the confidence That Hank Lockwood has right now To think he's going to get the lottery machine correct On today of all days Like if I win the win the Mega Millions, I want to do it around you guys. So that's why I'm not going to win it today, Hank.
That's what you just said. Yeah, maybe I'm overstepping.
All right. Anyway, can I get to my problem? Yeah, the guy who is literally never gotten it might be overstepping.
Yeah, this is like if back in 2016, Big Cat had been like, you know what? I don't want to beat the Indians because it's on the road. I'd rather win the World Series at home.
Okay. Go ahead, Hank.
No, no, no. Proposition us.
All right. This is my proposition.
I will give you a number today. It won't count, and then I want two on Friday.
No. Wait, why would you give us a number that wouldn't count? Because imagine if it hits, how happy would you be? It's not going to hit.
Statistically, that's not right. You're never going to get it.
All right, well, if it hits, you're going to be fucking pissed. Okay, I won't because it won't.
It will. What's your number? 11.

11.

17.

I'm taking 17.

I'll take 84. Also, Jake, wait.

Is Jake in the room?

Yes.

Of course.

Jake, I need you to take your cell phone out and take a video of the machine.

I won't lie.

Because I know, but I still need you to do it because I can't see it.

Memes, just change the wide to the lottery ball.

Okay.

11 is Hank's number. I have 84.
I don't think it works like that. What do you have, PFT? Of course I'm doing 17.
It doesn't work like that. It doesn't? Okay.
I'm taking 18. 20.
Sebastian did not submit, so we're going to go with his most recent submission of 45. All right.
Memes? Yep. I got the camera going, Hank.
Memes? Three. All right.
Here we go. Wait, no.
Go back. Go back.
Go back. Go back.
Go back. Memes, it does work like that.
Go back. Go back.
You wasted all that time on a number you're not going to get. I got it right here.
Why did we even waste all that? Just listening to your 73. There we go.
Good job, Hank. 73.
Is that fun for you, Hank? He tried to get us. He tried to get two on Friday.
You're never going to get it. You're never going to get it.
Never going to get it. Never going to get it, never going to get it.
It's statistically better for him for that to happen on Friday. It doesn't matter.
Statistics don't matter when it comes to this game. He's never going to get it.
I don't think you understand the fact that this guy is the worst of all time at picking lottery. Why do you think that would have any difference on what he would pick on Friday? No, because if he has two numbers on Friday.
Billy, we could give him 100 numbers. We've given him 300 numbers.
He hasn't gotten it. He doesn't know how to do it.
He literally does not know how the machine works. If Hank was smart, we should tell him just write down every number between 1 and 99 randomly.
And then whatever the last number that you randomly were going to write down. That's not what hank was really smart he would just go sequentially from starting at one and go all the way up and guess every number every single day and he would get it eventually as long as he doesn't miss a day did that happen did you miss a day once possibly did we reveal or slash did we lock in the bailout special where if we do a hundred drawings and if 17 is the last one then he still wins right yeah yeah i'll let him do that i don't care he's not gonna win anything yeah he's never gonna win it you're gonna win it in like the middle of august when everyone's like oh this is over and you're gonna be doing a math, by the way.
Depending on if you want to be the best of, it's seven or eight shows left. If I lose 5K, there's no dance.
Oh, no, you'll dance. I'll make you dance.
I don't think so. Oh, I think so.
But guess what? We're wasting time. We're wasting air.
You're never going to get it. Love you guys.
You're so bad at this. Orcas will eat moose, but not humans because they're picky eaters.
And that's probably the only reason why we haven't been attacked by orcas. And also they live in the ocean.
We live on land. So do moose.
It's probably a big one. The reason why we haven't gotten into a war Against fish Dude, whales and sharks Attack people all the fucking time Yeah, all the time You're the idiot Can we please keep the focus on the fact that Hank's the idiot because he doesn't know how to pick the correct number?

We should actually get an animal that's predicting numbers.

Oh, they'll get it in a second.

A goldfish will get it in two seconds. Like a chicken.

Have a chicken.

I'll bring in my hedgehog.

Yeah, bring in your hedgehog.

He'll get it.

Is Hank smarter than a hedgehog?

No.

All right, fine.

All right. Bye.
Drink on me a little bit I'll leave you With your team Release your anger Release your mind Release your job Release the time Release the dream Release the stress Release the love Forget the rest Cooking away Cooking away Cooking away Cooking away Cooking away Walking away, walking away Outro Music