Texans Coach Lovie Smith, Morten Andersen, NFL Week 3 Picks And Preview

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
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Speaker 1 On today's Pardon My Take, we have a twofer for the people. We have coach Lovey Smith getting ready for the Texans Bears.
We talk his team, the Texans, his

Speaker 1 best team he ever played for, his high school football team, his time with the Bears. We also have our good friend Morton Anderson in studio talking a little kicking Hall of Fame.

Speaker 1 We're going to do picks and preview for week three in the NFL. Talk about every game.
We have fantasy Russell Wilson's. We have Fire Fest of the Week, a pack show for everyone.

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Speaker 1 welcome to part of my take presented by visiblevisible.com. Check it out today.
5G ultra-wide band and global calling available on the Visible Plus plan. Today is Friday, September 23rd.

Speaker 1 And PFT, I think Jacoby Brissette might be a guy. He is.

Speaker 1 I don't know. He looks good.

Speaker 1 He looked good.

Speaker 5 He's their guy. He is.
He's their guy, but he's not the guy.

Speaker 5 There's definitely a difference, too, because if a coach is like, he's our guy, that means we're riding this guy right now until our main dude gets back.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so he had a very good game. The Browns right the ship, they go two and one, they could easily be three and oh, and the breaking moves that I just saw and said, uh-oh,

Speaker 1 breaking moves.

Speaker 1 Mike Tomlin was asked afterwards,

Speaker 1 Are you thinking about making a change at QB or play callers in the mini-buy?

Speaker 1 I heard it was in the buy. The mini buy, yeah, I like that.
His response, definitively, no.

Speaker 1 Okay. So Mitch is keeping his job.
I know there's Steelers fans calling for Kenny Pickett. It's the right move.
But Mitch is keeping his job.

Speaker 5 I'm going to run that through the Mike Tomlin translator. Definitively, no.

Speaker 1 It's a double no almost.

Speaker 5 I think it's almost too much of a no. It's too much.

Speaker 1 That's the thing.

Speaker 5 Like, Mike Tomlin, if he really meant no, he would have said no. But it's like when O.J.
Simpson, when they asked him what he pled at the trial, he goes, absolutely, positively, 100% not guilty.

Speaker 1 Not guilty. It's too much.

Speaker 5 Methinks the lady doth protest too much on that one.

Speaker 1 And it's actually funny because

Speaker 1 we do have Lovey Smith on the show, and we brought up the Rex as our quarterback. This feels like maybe one of those moments where he's adamant, Mitch is his guy.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know if Mitch is his guy.

Speaker 1 Look, the Steelers are,

Speaker 1 it feels like every week they have a different problem, and all of it can be solved.

Speaker 1 It's just TJ Watt was healthy because they showed that stat where essentially I think they're giving up five points more a game and they have a half a sack without him.

Speaker 1 But George Pickens doesn't seem happy, made a great catch, doesn't seem happy,

Speaker 1 was off sides on the onside kick.

Speaker 1 I don't really know what to make. Like Najee Harris sometimes looks awesome, and then other times their offensive line looks like trash.
So yeah, I don't know what to make of the Steelers.

Speaker 5 I don't think that they have problems that are going to be fixed by just a quarterback replacement.

Speaker 1 No, I think it's just TJ Watt.

Speaker 5 If you look at TJ Watt, that stat that they showed, it wasn't just the sacks and the points. It was also like the team's overall record.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 5 And like we joke around sometimes, like with Jimmy G, it's like the dude's a winner. Just let him get out there and win.

Speaker 5 When every other stat shows that he's like an average to slightly below average quarterback. And giving quarterback wins as a stat is one that

Speaker 5 there's a certain degree of truth to it where you want a guy that's a good leader. And there are some guys that are winners, some guys that are losers.
But it's an overvalued stat for quarterbacks.

Speaker 5 I actually think that it works with TJ Watt in terms of like defensive lineman wins for TJ Watt.

Speaker 5 He makes that much of a difference on their defense where he's getting like triple teamed every time that it opens up everything. Their defense plays at a different level.

Speaker 5 But I don't think that the problems that they have to solve can be solved by going to Kenny Pickett. In fact, I think it would just kind of screw with Kenny Pickett a little bit.

Speaker 5 Yeah, because it's putting him in an obviously flawed team.

Speaker 1 Right, right. I agree with that.

Speaker 1 And I do root for Mitch. It kind of sucks.

Speaker 1 I feel like Mitch would have been great if he had just stayed like a backup for a decade and just been cashing checks like the new case Chase Daniel.

Speaker 5 So I do think that he has a career as a backup if he wants one because he seems like a good dude He's like slightly mobile enough to be like kind of weird and dodgy if he has to come into a game and scramble for a first down But the problem is as always with backups if they show too much as a starter you can kind of ruin your backup reputation.

Speaker 5 So hopefully he just like

Speaker 1 doesn't show next game if he goes like one touchdown one interception call it 56% passing that'll be the perfect stat line for Mitch to pursue a career as a backup right right exactly and by the way so speaking of the Browns I guess you, if you're the Browns, if you're a Browns fan, you have to do glass half full, not glass half empty, because you could sit there and beat yourself up about you should be 3-0.

Speaker 1 But the Browns have the Falcons next, and then they have the Chargers and the Patriots at home. The Browns could very well be a 4-2 team after six weeks here.

Speaker 1 And yeah, again, you could beat yourself up and be like, oh, we could have been 5-1. But I think they could win one of those two games at home.

Speaker 5 So, Big Kid, I had a thought a second ago.

Speaker 5 What if Deshaun Watson comes back later on this season? And the Browns are a good team. Like offensively, I think they've got one of the best offensive lines in football.

Speaker 5 They've got

Speaker 1 the ball.

Speaker 5 They shunt you to death at the running back position.

Speaker 1 I think he had combined like 150 yards tonight.

Speaker 5 160 yards. Yeah, it was awesome.
I just loved watching Nick Chubb run the ball. Yeah,

Speaker 5 he just like turtles over to, he engulfs the ball into his solar plexus, and he almost folds over it in half, and then he just starts moving his legs, and he'll move a pile of like six dudes that are trying to attack.

Speaker 1 And the beautiful thing about the Browns, when you have a running game like that, it's it's like beautiful football to watch a running game like that and then watch perfect play action passes like nine-yard passes to the tight end.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because everyone has to be ready for the run.

Speaker 1 And it's like, you know, play action is almost, it's not a lost art, but it doesn't happen as much as it used to because teams don't run the ball the same way they used to.

Speaker 1 But with the Browns, it's like, no, you have to be scared that these guys are going to run the ball on every single down. Although, Kevin Stefansky was like, he was doing some wild shit, some

Speaker 1 empty sets like on like third and one and stuff. I think he was just, he was getting freaky with it.

Speaker 5 He runs the pro form sometimes. Remember that from Madden when you have both your running backs in the game? Like no fullbacks, but you've got two halfbacks

Speaker 5 split out to each side. People stopped doing that for a while.
I don't know why. It always looked awesome to run Madden, but I'm glad that they're bringing that back a little bit.

Speaker 5 They put like a backup lineman in at fullback. Yes.
They took a few guys out in the goal line. That was sick.
But I was thinking like Deshaun Watson, he's coming back.

Speaker 5 Whether you like it or not he's gonna come that's kind of his MO but uh he is he's gonna be playing quarterback later on this year and the team is good enough to the point where they can get into the playoffs like what if Deshaun Watson what if the Browns go to the Super Bowl and Deshaun Watson is the quarterback of the Browns the Super Bowl

Speaker 1 is like everyone I would want to root for the Browns in the Super Bowl but not with Deshaun Watson I also like this trend we're doing with this show where like whatever game just happened the winner of that game like like right now we have the Bills playing the Eagles playing the Browns in the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 No, but

Speaker 1 you know what I'm saying, though. Yeah, no, I agree.
You wouldn't like it would be. The Browns aren't bad.

Speaker 5 They're a good team without their arguably like top five quarterbacks.

Speaker 1 What you're saying, and I agree with you, is the Browns and the Lions are the two teams that I think that if they somehow ever got to a Super Bowl, the majority of America would be rooting for them, kind of similar to the Bengals last year, but then you throw in the Bills, I think, are in that case.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the Bills are probably in that category as well. But then you throw in the Deshaun Watson part, and you're like, oh, maybe not.

Speaker 5 It's actually the most Browns thing ever. Right.
If they do, if they win a Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 And America hates this shit out of it. And America hates the shit out of it.
It should be their moment,

Speaker 1 their crowning moment of like, this team has never won a Super Bowl. Holy shit, this is incredible.
And like, ah, fuck.

Speaker 1 We don't like Tesla.

Speaker 5 They win the most hateable Super Bowl of all time.

Speaker 1 Yes. So

Speaker 1 I don't want to, Jake and Billy spent the night watching the game here, so why don't you guys say something so it wasn't a waste?

Speaker 1 I do feel bad because it is true like we do these we do these quick we've already taped the majority of the show so we only do these for like five minutes so let's i want you guys to have it feel like it was worthwhile was the catch better than odell's good question let's have the conversation i think i think yes i have i have a okay convincing argument His, he was facing away from the ball, coming towards him, like Odell, who's facing the ball.

Speaker 5 He did have it on his fingertips. It wasn't a touchdown.
Yeah, that was going to be my counterpoint. We're talking about the best catch, not the best touchdown.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 Okay, so, but the touchdown, like, it does affect how good the catch was.

Speaker 1 Oh, of course, in the distance of the catch.

Speaker 5 Yeah, the distance, the ball was thrown a lot further. Also, it was from Eli Manning, so that gives it like a little extra pop for Odell.
This one, it's going to be from Mitch Trubisky,

Speaker 5 who's better than Eli Manning, so maybe even

Speaker 5 makes it pop more.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That was close.

Speaker 5 Is a shorter thrown ball harder to catch?

Speaker 1 Ooh, no. Faster? No.

Speaker 5 Less time to look at it. That's true.

Speaker 5 Fewer time. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, Jake, your thoughts?

Speaker 6 It was interesting how you guys said Jacoby Rousette might be the guy when Deshaun Watson's on your guy list as of Monday.

Speaker 1 Can I

Speaker 1 have two guys? Yeah, two guys. Yeah, you could have two guys.
Absolutely. Kenny and Mitch.

Speaker 5 Two guys, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, no, no, no. They're both on my list, obviously.

Speaker 1 No, I just think Jacoby Brissette deserves credit because he's playing great football and like he has been put in a situation that's probably not ideal, knowing that you're playing for your own job, for your own future, but you also know that this isn't your team.

Speaker 1 And he, I mean, what do we say? Last Sunday against the Jets, I think he completed over 80% of his passes. He's been very good.

Speaker 5 I think if he ends up,

Speaker 5 if they end up two games above 500 by the time he's done, he might be in the conversation for best backup quarterback in the world.

Speaker 6 He's in some interesting situations with the Brady at the Flakegate, right?

Speaker 1 Didn't he take over? Yep, he's over for JBG. And he also, he might be,

Speaker 1 since Tom Brady's getting up there in age, he might be one of the best QB sneak guys in the league.

Speaker 1 We remember when he was on the Colts and he would be the guy who would go in for Phil Rivers to QB sneak because Phil Rivers refused to do it.

Speaker 1 But it was, yeah, I'm happy for Jacoby Brissette because, like, this is his chance, similar to the Mitch conversation.

Speaker 1 If he plays well enough, he will have maybe another starting shot, but at least a backup shot for a very long time.

Speaker 5 He'll have, how old is he right now? Jacoby Brissett. If I had to guess, I would say like 30.

Speaker 1 No, 29. 29? Okay, yeah.
So he's drafted in 26 years.

Speaker 5 So this is huge. So if Jacoby Brissett does stay like two games above 500, I think he'll probably have a backup quarterback job for the next eight years.
Yeah. I think he'll be set.

Speaker 5 And that kind of is a guy. If you have, you can have two guys.
Your guy's sexual.

Speaker 1 Now Hank is just scoffing at us because we have completely diminished the initial argument.

Speaker 5 But you can have have a backup quarterback that's a, he's a guy as far as being a backup's concerned.

Speaker 1 He's a guy in terms of backups. Yes.
Like he's the guy, like if the game, there are certain backups that if the starter goes down, you're like, our season's fucked. We're totally screwed.

Speaker 1 Jacoby Roussett is in the camp of like, he's our guy. He could maybe keep us afloat.

Speaker 5 You know what it means when you say like, he's our guy?

Speaker 1 No, I've got, I've got, this is crystal clear for me.

Speaker 5 Saying he's our guy about a backup means we're not looking to get another starting quarterback off the street. We're not going to make a trade.
We're not going to try to make a splash.

Speaker 1 That's what a backup quarterback is.

Speaker 5 We have our guy. He's our guy at backup.
He's not the guy.

Speaker 1 That's every backup quarterback. No, it's not.

Speaker 5 No, there are some quarterbacks that if you're

Speaker 5 starter gets hurt. Josh Rosa.
You pay

Speaker 1 attention to

Speaker 1 that. You just described a backup quarterback.
Yeah, we have. No.

Speaker 1 We've flooded. There's a guy inflation on this show now.

Speaker 1 I agree. Yeah.
He did it again.

Speaker 1 I'll leave you with this. Guess how much money Jacoby Brissett has made in his career? Ooh, $42 million.
Not so so he's a fun guy.

Speaker 4 $42 million.

Speaker 1 So you looked it up. I didn't.

Speaker 1 $42 million? Oh!

Speaker 1 That's your count. Next on the record.

Speaker 1 That was actually $42,880. Is that like a mini-lottery one? That shows

Speaker 1 you. I put it on the record.
Wait, let me double-check. No, it was $43.
It's rounded up to 43, so you're not right.

Speaker 5 That was a good guess. That was a great guess.
Hank, I'll say it.

Speaker 1 Great job.

Speaker 1 That's crazy.

Speaker 6 Wait, guess the next digit? 42,

Speaker 1 no. Yeah.
Smart digital.

Speaker 1 Those 10 digits.

Speaker 1 He heard me say it, but he is. 8.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he heard me say it. He heard me say it.

Speaker 1 Wow, Hank got that one secret. You're really good.
Damn. Shit.

Speaker 1 But yeah, credits, Jacoby Brissette. Credit to the Browns, two and one.

Speaker 5 Also, I just like saying dog check. Yeah.
Dog check.

Speaker 1 Dog check.

Speaker 1 Dog check. Oh, oh, oh, oh.
And, well, last, last thing, Amazon, like, dude, what are they doing with the mics in the crowds? We can't, I can't hear the crowd. It happened with Thursday night.

Speaker 1 I forgot to mention it last week. Arrowhead felt silent.
Like, I want to hear the crowd.

Speaker 5 It's the loudest stadium in the NFL.

Speaker 1 I want to hear the crowd.

Speaker 5 It seemed really quiet, and they did it again tonight. That's one thing they got to figure out.
I guess they don't have enough of those satellite dishes that the people on the sidelines hold.

Speaker 5 You need to put those, like, make it sound louder than it really is. Yes.
That's like broadcasting 101. I'd much rather give you some flavor for this environment right here, Jeff Bezos.

Speaker 1 Yes, pump it up. And also, pump it up.

Speaker 5 I think they had more Amazon commercials during the Amazon broadcast tonight. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Thankfully, we had some college football games to distract distract us. And Aaron Judge, the cameraman should be fired from Fox.

Speaker 5 I think that was hilarious.

Speaker 1 That was unreal. It was very funny.
He treated it as a run of baseball. He treated it like Aaron Judge put the ball on the fucking moon and then it was like five feet short on the warning.

Speaker 5 It's funny because you don't think of the camera guy's responsibility during a seminal moment like that.

Speaker 5 We think, you know, I heard Big Cat say, like, if you were the Red Sox pitcher, you would groove one down the middle. Wow.
So you would be on the highlight reel for all time.

Speaker 1 If you're a bad pitcher, if you're bad.

Speaker 1 If you're a good pitcher, I wouldn't do do it if i was like a um middle reliever guy who was like i'm never going to be a great pitcher i think i would lean being in be a trivia question yeah being in history rather than being like a known like i think of like pat light yeah like pat light makes funny tick tocks where he's like i struck out mike trout but i also gave up like 14 runs in a half inning like if if that were my if i was like hey this thing's probably not going to work out long-term pitching in in major league baseball i think i could make some funny content being like guess who gave up 61 Me.

Speaker 4 Flash in the pan, but like you make the flash as bright as you can.

Speaker 1 Exactly.

Speaker 5 You're probably in Cooperstown.

Speaker 1 Right. Early a partner.

Speaker 5 You're part of a moment in history.

Speaker 5 But so we think about the players that are involved in the play, but we don't think about the camera guy because the camera guy knows that what he's recording, that's going to be what everyone sees for all time.

Speaker 5 Now, your name's not on it, but it is going to be your piece of work. And you're going to tell your kids, like, I filmed that.
So this guy had it in his head

Speaker 5 how he was going to do like the cinematography of it.

Speaker 1 and he thought he nailed it nailed it he thought that this was a piece he thought this was better than citizen kane baby he he had like the angle on it he was like zooming out to show how wide it was going and then as it zooms out and pans down and the guy's just standing at the warning crack oh and judge knew it wasn't gone you could see in his face like he knew that it wasn't gone every like i'm sure the obviously the crowd because every every crowd gets duped by home run balls but man that fox camera guy find a new job

Speaker 1 apple tv time now it's apple TV time.

Speaker 5 I hope he gets to. I soap, so

Speaker 5 I hope he goes yard. And it's the Apple TV broadcast that no one can watch and everyone's going to hate the call.

Speaker 1 Yep, yep.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's kick it to ourselves. Back in studio, and then we got a couple interviews coming up.
Before we get to the weekend preview.

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Speaker 1 Week three,

Speaker 1 excited. We have our first loser leaves town game.

Speaker 1 Interesting. Raiders Titans.
I believe that is it. I think that's it.

Speaker 1 I think whoever starts 0-3 there,

Speaker 1 it's a wrap.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I need somebody to bring up the stats.

Speaker 5 I'm sure that by the time you're listening to this, they've already run the stat on Football Friday on ESPN somewhere showing the percentage of teams that start out 0-3 that make the playoffs.

Speaker 5 And I'm pretty sure it's probably like 6%.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and now I did have, there's a Raiders podcaster.

Speaker 1 His name is escaping me. I apologize.
I did watch his. He did the very smart thing where he released his YouTube recap of the Raiders game and was addressing Stephen A.

Speaker 1 Smith's comments about the Raiders and Big Cat saying he's going to cut off his pinky. So I was like, well, I guess I got to click this to see what he said.
And he had the stat that

Speaker 1 four times an 0-2 team has made it to the Super Bowl and three out of four times they've won the Super Bowl. So

Speaker 1 a little scary.

Speaker 5 But it basically never happens that they made you went to the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 Well, his whole point was the 2001 Patriots were one of those teams and Josh McDaniels was on that staff. So he's going to go into that locker room and be like, I started 0-2, and look what I did.

Speaker 5 So if Derek Carr gets his ribs broken, then who's backing him up?

Speaker 1 That's the question. I don't know.
And then also, he conveniently, let me see,

Speaker 1 when was Josh McDaniels on the

Speaker 1 Broncos head coach?

Speaker 5 That was 2000. That was Thibault, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was 2020. Yeah, okay.
So he conveniently also left out the fact that he put up the graphic that showed all the 0-2 teams that won the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 And so the 2001 Patriots is one of them, which he was like, Josh McDaniel was on that staff. And he just skipped over the fact that also the 2007 New York Giants were on that list.

Speaker 1 Josh McDaniels was part of that as well.

Speaker 5 Interesting.

Speaker 1 And they had went and beaten the Patriots.

Speaker 5 It definitely was in 2008. I want to say it was like 2010, 2009, 2010.
2009, 2010. And 2010 was the, I think that was the Tebow year where things really fell off for him.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 5 So the Raiders podcast. I like to imagine that the Raiders gorilla has a podcast.
I hope so.

Speaker 5 Where he just is in costume the entire time, actually breaking down serious numbers and analytics for the Raiders. One thing we didn't talk about last week, I can't believe we forgot about this.

Speaker 5 Stephen A. Smith, when he was giving his analysis for the Chargers, I think he said the Chargers were going to score more points than anybody.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah,

Speaker 1 but also lose somehow. That's, see, that was when Stephen A.
Smith has a few of these. Remember, he did it a couple years ago where he's like, the Chargers have like Hunter Henry back.
It's like, no,

Speaker 1 he's out for the season. Yeah.
He just short circuits every now and then because he has to be on TV like 75 hours a day, every day, and then he gets his information.

Speaker 1 I don't like when people own him on that. We make a lot of mistakes on this show.
We say a lot of stupid things.

Speaker 5 Sometimes his brain flashes back like four years. Right.
Which it happens a lot. If you talk about sports, you just get stuck in a time warp a little bit and you think it's 2016.

Speaker 5 It happens to the best of us. And the only thing, though, he did take a month off.
He did take a month off to reset

Speaker 5 with a shoulder injury to reset his brain. So I'd like to see a little bit more time after that before a new mistake gets made.

Speaker 1 I have two weeks in a row now, both weeks of the NFL season. For some stupid reason, I write down, I'm the one who types the boomers while we all collaborate and put them, you know, put them together.

Speaker 1 And for some reason, I've written down two wrong scores. And so Monday morning, I've woken up and people have been like, you got the score wrong.
You got the score wrong. You got the score wrong.

Speaker 1 I think I'm going to lean into it and just get a wrong score every week.

Speaker 5 Either that or we're usually like two points off, where we just have Jake write the score parts to the game.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I think one

Speaker 1 wrong a week, and this will test true AWLs.

Speaker 1 So, um, the ones who are listening right now, you'll know that there'll be one score wrong a week, and then the people who try to correct me, you look like an idiot because it was just a prank, bro.

Speaker 5 Also, good luck fact-checking this podcast.

Speaker 5 Yeah, if that's if that's your mission to fact-check this, then you're gonna spend more time running your fact-check on the show than we do actually making the show.

Speaker 1 It's gonna be like Bitcoin when they were like the amount amount of energy it takes to make Bitcoin

Speaker 1 is worth more than the Bitcoin. The amount of energy it takes for your computer to fact check this show is far more expensive than just listening to the show.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it would take a room full of people. It would take, how many do we have in this room right now? Six people? It would take eight people, seven days to fact-check one episode apart of my team.

Speaker 5 Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 Okay, so let's do our picks. We'll talk about every game.

Speaker 1 You want to give us the updated records? I think it's pretty bad.

Speaker 6 It's pretty bad. We have two groups right now.
Me, Hank, and Big Cat at 3-5. PFT, Billy, and Max at 2-6.
15 and 35.

Speaker 1 Okay, so we're all bad. 31%.
We're all very bad.

Speaker 1 You know what? It's not how you start. It's how you finish.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it's also how you start a little bit.

Speaker 1 A little bit. A little bit differently.

Speaker 5 There's also a big part in starting.

Speaker 1 No, that's just, that's a saying you use when you start like shit.

Speaker 5 Yeah, when you start bad, it's like, okay, we have a lot of room to improve on everything. The good news is we can't be as bad as last week.

Speaker 1 And we're a little, we did improve. Oh, we improved.
Oh, we can. We did improve weekly.

Speaker 5 Week one to week two. Yeah.

Speaker 1 and we can be as bad so i can be worse so who's in last week we had 27 wins through two weeks last year with yeah but last no last season was different last season was so easy we were we were we just saw everything they got and hank went 4-0 in week two last year it was easy it was easy it was easy last year this year not so much okay let's let's hop into it let's start with our favorites we'll throw in some stats talk about the games hank My favorite, Bills Mafia.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay.

Speaker 5 All right, interesting. Kind of a square pick, but I appreciate it.

Speaker 1 And we have brought up the O in the last one.

Speaker 4 I'm the guy that's two and six over here.

Speaker 1 Oh, also,

Speaker 5 I'm also on the Bills.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 Two sharps are there.

Speaker 1 Two sharps, you and Billy. I'm very excited for this game because we're either going to.

Speaker 6 Five and a half against the Dolphins.

Speaker 1 Five and a half. We're either going to find out if the Dolphins are for real, for real, or if the Bills are just like, no one's going to touch them.

Speaker 4 I think the Bills' defense is going to shut them up. I think the Dolphins are good, but I think the Bills defense is that good.

Speaker 1 There's two, I think, two rookie cornerbacks starting for the Bills because that

Speaker 1 Tredavious White is, isn't he still out

Speaker 1 I think I think he's still out that's a that's yeah but he's been out that's yeah no no he's been out but then the really scary neck injury yeah which thankfully is okay I can't remember who it was

Speaker 1 I want to say Dane Cook but that's a comedian

Speaker 1 no it's Dane Cook Jackson Dane Jackson that was half right I thought it was Dane Cook too I thought it was Dane Cook as well so just something to look at Jalen Waddle and Tyree Kill versus two rookie cornerbacks.

Speaker 5 But the strength of the Bills defense is in their pass rush and being able to get to the quarterback with four people because they never blitz. They're not blitzing at all.

Speaker 5 And I think they're in the top five, I want to say, in quarterback pressures.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they've been incredible.

Speaker 5 They're all over the place.

Speaker 5 I will say, though, that if the Dolphins win this, I'm going to start using the word hot shot for Mike McDaniel. Nobody's dropped the hot.

Speaker 5 Everyone says, like, oh, McVay, one of these hot shot coaches. No one's...
talked about the word hot shot with McDaniel yet.

Speaker 1 He's close to being boy genius.

Speaker 5 So it's hot shot or yeah, Wunderkinned could also be talked about.

Speaker 1 I'm just at the point, too, where I'm hoping this is the case, but like Von Miller just goes to a different team every year and just becomes incredible. Like,

Speaker 1 could he have the most Super Bowls ever if he just keeps hopping around? Like Robert Orey. Like, remember when Von Miller at the end of the Broncos years is like, is he kind of done?

Speaker 1 And now he's just like last year and this year, he's just Von Miller again.

Speaker 5 The thing about Von Miller is he's never like an intimidating looking person. He's never making like, he's not a screamer.
He's not a yeller.

Speaker 5 He doesn't seem scary when he's talking to the press or he's like just hanging out. He's like a low-key kind of guy.
And he doesn't look huge and jacked up most of the time. Yeah.

Speaker 5 But he's just so fucking flexible and he's so fast that he's able to just like throw people off like it's jiu-jitsu. It's kind of crazy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the, the, um, if you, if you want to look at cool Von Miller stuff, the ghost move that he does, and he did a double ghost, I think, week one, where he just makes the lineman just look completely silly.

Speaker 5 Oh, it's judo is what it is. He'll like step to one side and use their own momentum and then throw them behind him.

Speaker 1 No, he doesn't even touch them. The ghost move, he doesn't even touch them.
Okay, there's he just literally just like, it's almost like a crossover in basketball.

Speaker 1 He just shakes them and then he runs right by them.

Speaker 5 There's the ghost and then there's the augmented ghost where you step to one side, the passer or the offensive lineman comes at you, then you like grab over their head and pull them back and throw them on the ground.

Speaker 5 He's just, he's, it turns out he's really good still. Yes.

Speaker 1 Very, very good.

Speaker 5 And this is also the game where we're going to have to update it. If Josh Allen wins, that will be, I think, an even 20 in a row

Speaker 5 on quarterbacks with the last name that doesn't have the letter O in it. O in it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So something to look out for. All right.
That's Billy and Hank's pick max.

Speaker 7 Vikings minus six.

Speaker 1 I kind of like this. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I kind of like this.

Speaker 8 Bounce back game. I like it.
Kirk Cousins at one o'clock. Yeah, Kirk Cousins at one o'clock.

Speaker 7 Perfect.

Speaker 5 Kirk Cousins.

Speaker 1 Everyone loves Detroit. Everyone's like, hey, look at Detroit.
And then the Vikings couldn't have looked worse.

Speaker 1 The only thing that scares me about this is we we should start having a conversation about Dan Campbell, the greatest against the spread coach of all time. He's 13 and 6.

Speaker 8 He's got to lose sometime.

Speaker 1 Well, he doesn't. He could just cover.
Yeah, so it's a lot.

Speaker 1 He loses a lot, but he got lost. He covers a lot.
He got a cover sometimes. Yeah, 13 and 6 is a pretty ridiculous against the spread record.

Speaker 5 I have the other side of this for the end of the day.

Speaker 1 We'll wait for that. Yeah, we'll wait for that.
Yeah, we'll get to that.

Speaker 1 Okay, you guys will go head-to-head. PFT and I have the same favorite.

Speaker 5 Yeah, Bengals, minus five. It's my game of the moment.

Speaker 1 The Jets.

Speaker 5 I love, I'm terrified of how much I love the Bengals. It's six now.

Speaker 1 Okay, six?

Speaker 5 Even better. I like it better at six.

Speaker 5 Five is a coward number. I love, it's Burrow Dark 30.
Joe Burrow has deleted social media from his phone. He's going, that's the LeBron, the classic LeBron move.

Speaker 5 Another Ohio boy, Joe Burrow, is, it is like a panic button game if they lose this game.

Speaker 1 Well, all right, so there's a couple reasons that

Speaker 1 I made them my game of the month.

Speaker 1 The first is, as bad as the offensive line for the Bengals has looked, and it has looked terrible, I think we're forgetting that TJ Watt and Micah Parsons might be, besides Aaron Donald, they're two of the three best.

Speaker 1 I would probably have Mike Parsons one right now, but a healthy TJ Watt is either two or three. So they're two of the three best defenders that wreck games in the NFL.

Speaker 1 That's who they played the first two weeks because obviously TJ Watt didn't get injured to the end of that game.

Speaker 1 The Jets don't have Micah Parsons or TJ Watt. So I feel like this will be the week that everyone's like, look, the Bengals, the Bengals kind of figured out their offensive line.

Speaker 1 And then the other part, they lost to the Bengals, or the Bengals lost to the Jets last year. You can't overlook it.
The Jets just came off a miraculous win.

Speaker 1 And the Bengals, their season is kind of on the line.

Speaker 5 Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's a panic button game for the Bengals.
And

Speaker 5 the game last year was bullshit. They should have beaten the Jets.
Yeah, that was the Mike White game.

Speaker 5 That was the Mike White game. And also, there was like a Phantom call in overtime that absolutely screwed him over.

Speaker 5 I think Billy did apologize for that game.

Speaker 5 You counted that as a Jets loss, right? He was a targeting call on a running back. Yeah.
Yeah, so I don't think the Bengals are going to overlook this at all because they have to win this game. Yes.

Speaker 5 They're 0-2. So it's a must-wise.
I'm going to say it's a must-win for the Bengals.

Speaker 5 Not even a can't lose. It's a must-win for the Bengals.
Must-win all the way through.

Speaker 1 Who's your favorite, Billy?

Speaker 5 It was the Bills. Oh, the Bills.

Speaker 1 That's right. All right.

Speaker 1 Jake.

Speaker 6 I'm going with the Chiefs, minus five and a half at the Colts.

Speaker 5 I think it's a little bit of a trap line. Yeah, it is.

Speaker 6 Very big trap line. You would expect eight or nine points.

Speaker 5 Yeah, the boys on the desert are licking their chops right now about this one. They're happy.
Yeah. You've fallen into that.

Speaker 1 It's so big of a trap that you take it. I want to bet the Chiefs so badly, but I'm so nervous because

Speaker 1 the Thursday night game, Patrick Mahomes threw like six interceptions and none of them counted. And

Speaker 1 Gus Bradley is so bad against Patrick Mahomes. He actually, he had a press conference.
He's the DC for the Colts.

Speaker 1 He had a press conference today yesterday where he said about playing the Chiefs last year when he was with the Raiders.

Speaker 1 He said, I think earlier we played a lot of single high against him and did some really good things. Points-wise, held him down last year.

Speaker 1 That's just not even close to true. One game they did give up five turnovers, but the other one, Patrick Mahomes, was 20 for 24.
Or sorry, Patrick Mahomes had five touchdowns and

Speaker 1 absolutely roasted Gus Bradley. I think he's something ridiculous, like like seven and one against Gus Bradley defenses.

Speaker 5 Now, to be fair, some of those Gus Bradley defenses were they. No, that was post-Jaguars.

Speaker 1 That was post-Jaguars. Six and one against Gus Bradley defenses.

Speaker 1 Points per game, 33.2. Completion rate, 65.2%,

Speaker 5 and 17 touchdowns, two interceptions.

Speaker 1 So it doesn't feel... Now, Patrick Mahomes is good no matter what, but it feels like Gus Bradley might not have the Patrick Mahomes stopper.

Speaker 5 I just saw a stat the other day that said Patrick Mahomes was, he had the luckiest luck when it came to interceptions and dropped interceptions. Yo, I mean,

Speaker 5 but no, I'm talking about like over the course of the last three seasons entirely.

Speaker 5 So, in terms of not just week one and week two, where we did see a shitload of dropped interceptions, but like 2020, 2021, he was the most interceptable quarterback of all time in terms of like balls that were dropped.

Speaker 5 It's a skill. So, it's a skill.

Speaker 1 It's like free throw defense.

Speaker 5 I don't know what it is. Or yeah, like field goal defense to a certain extent, too.
I don't know

Speaker 5 what it is. Maybe, maybe like defensive players are so shocked that they're able to intercept.

Speaker 5 They're like, oh shit, I'm about to intercept Patrick Mahomes that they get inside their own heads and they drop the ball. But I feel like at some point that luck has to start to change, right?

Speaker 1 The game I was referring to that Gus Bradley was like, yeah, we kind of held him down points-wise.

Speaker 1 I actually remember, I think it was a Sunday night game, and everyone was like, the Raiders are coming, the Raiders are coming. They were five and three, and the Chiefs were

Speaker 1 five and four. So it was like, oh, the Chiefs are kind of down.
Patrick Mahomes went 35 for 50, 406 yards, five TDs, zero interceptions. Didn't really hold him down.

Speaker 5 Yeah, Billy? We had that exact conversation about Patrick Mahomes' interceptible balls this time last season. Did we? Yeah, and we said

Speaker 5 he's probably now that stat is correcting itself. And then after that short term where we thought it was going to correct, he actually just kept going.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean,

Speaker 1 he threw like four interceptions.

Speaker 5 So what Billy's saying is like, we were just a little bit early last year. Now's the time when we're right about this.

Speaker 5 Yeah, you could find the recording where we say, like, yeah, he's due to be the stat to be corrected. The market correction is

Speaker 1 imminent right now.

Speaker 1 And with all that said, I just can't bet the Chiefs because I feel like this is I feel like this is one of those NFL-rigged games where you're just like, the Chiefs are the better team.

Speaker 1 The Colts are a mess, but they'll just figure out a way to cover or win.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I actually, I do like the Colts in this. I like the Colts a lot.
We are like,

Speaker 5 what was Christian Bales character from the the big short sitting in the room, getting calls from all our investors? Yep. Being like, what are you doing? We're losing money.
We're losing money.

Speaker 5 Just wait. Just wait.
My system is right.

Speaker 1 Patrick Mahomes

Speaker 5 will eventually throw interceptions. Trust me on this.

Speaker 1 And then, of course, what most likely will happen is they'll win by three touchdowns.

Speaker 5 Of course.

Speaker 1 And we'll be like, wow, we really overthought that one.

Speaker 6 Yeah, that's the thing. I could easily see 21, three and a half.

Speaker 1 It's my old theory about being embarrassed. Like,

Speaker 1 if you make a bet, like when you're betting against Bill Belichick or Nick Saban, you have the added element that you can feel so embarrassed because people are like, how could you bet against this guy?

Speaker 1 So if you bet on the Colts here, like the Bills on Monday. Right, you have to know that you're betting on the Colts.
It might be the sharp side.

Speaker 1 It might be the correct side, but there's an element of you could lose and lose so badly that everyone's going to be like, how could you ever go against the Chiefs?

Speaker 1 How could you ever bet on this garbage team that is the Colts?

Speaker 5 So what I'm seeing in this game in the deep numbers, as I'm exploring the deep numbers of this matchup, I'm seeing the Colts coming off an embarrassing loss against the Jaguars. Correct.

Speaker 5 And that's everybody's burying the Colts. Everyone's like, I can't believe you lost.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they tie against the Texans.

Speaker 5 And an embarrassing loss as they tied the Texans. Everyone's burying the Colts.
Now is the time to invest in the Colts. Correct.
Buy low, sell high.

Speaker 1 But again, the embarrassment factor. But also,

Speaker 1 what if I'm right? Right. So

Speaker 5 those are the angels and the demons on our shoulder. You got the demon on your shoulder being like, hey, you could be the one that's right, the first person.

Speaker 5 And then the angels like, hey, just be smart.

Speaker 1 Just be smart about it. I'm going to bet on the Colts on Sunday morning, and I know that there's the embarrassment factor.

Speaker 1 Okay, your underdogs. Underdogs.
Henry.

Speaker 1 Colts. Colts.
There it is. Okay.
I like it. That is, I mean, that makes me like the Colts even more because Hank usually spots these.
Will they be in part of the Hungry Dog parlay?

Speaker 5 I think they should.

Speaker 1 I think they probably will be. Who else is going to be in it?

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Oh. Patriots.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 and?

Speaker 1 Say it.

Speaker 5 Say it, Hank.

Speaker 5 You know you want to. Oh.

Speaker 1 Dolphins.

Speaker 5 You know you want to. Are you going to see the Jets? You know you want to.

Speaker 1 Titans. Oh, boo.
Okay, boo, boo, boo. All right.
Max, your

Speaker 1 underdog.

Speaker 1 This one's gross, but

Speaker 7 the game is just going to be weird.

Speaker 4 I'm taking Jags plus seven at an LA Chargers.

Speaker 1 I don't hate it because we don't know what is going to happen with Justin Herbert.

Speaker 1 He might not play. He might get Chase Daniel plus seven against Chase Daniels, a pretty good bet.
We also have,

Speaker 1 we've discussed this before on this podcast, but Peyton Manning, what he did for this league, it just, his legacy is forever because he had just two or one terrible rookie year and then not a great second year.

Speaker 1 Or no, he was actually good his second year, but he had a terrible rookie year. So every quarterback that's ever drafted, you can just be like, well, Peyton Manning was terrible his first year.

Speaker 1 And we have a stat for that. Trevor Lawrence is 0-9 on the road to start his career.
He'll try to get

Speaker 1 his first road win Sunday against the Chargers. Only QB to lose his first nine road starts and then win his 10th is Peyton Manning.
So, Peyton Manning

Speaker 1 lost his first nine road starts. His first road win, kind of wild, Jake, was week three, his second season against the Chargers.

Speaker 5 Isn't that wild? That is wild. That's wild.

Speaker 5 I went to my stat guru, who is Uncle Chaps, when it comes to anything related to the Jaguars. He just feeds me these sad Jacksonville Jaguars stats on almost a weekly basis.

Speaker 5 And the one this week was the Jaguars are 3-14 in their last 17 games on the West Coast. Pretty bad.
The Jags don't travel well.

Speaker 1 What are they overall?

Speaker 5 So I was thinking about it.

Speaker 1 Because that's one of those ones, like, they stink overall.

Speaker 5 They do stink overall.

Speaker 1 What are they overall without the Colts?

Speaker 5 But if you think about it this way this means that they they stink for like a longer period of time right if they if it's uh 17 games going back that far because remember it wasn't that long ago that they had blake bordles and they were a dominant team yeah they were a playaway from the super bowl it's fucking miles jack yeah all right you're underdog pft i'm also doing the colts sam ellinger vibes

Speaker 5 He might get in.

Speaker 5 He might get in.

Speaker 1 He might be activated.

Speaker 5 It seems that the crowd in Indy is turning on Matt Ryan so soon. Yeah.

Speaker 5 They're just turning on the entire franchise. Also, this entire Colts breakdown is subject to change depending on whether or not Jim Merce opens the roof or closes it.

Speaker 5 I'm banking on an open roof, so if he does tweet out that the roof is closed at some point after these words are coming out of my mouth, I reserve the right to rescind my underdog pick. Is that okay?

Speaker 5 Yes. Can I make that contingent? Yes.

Speaker 5 That tweet means business for me. Yes.
And instead, I'm going to change it.

Speaker 5 I'm going to go to the Lions. Okay.
Do the Lions as my backup.

Speaker 5 But does that actually count for our records?

Speaker 1 Yes. Yeah.
Yeah. But I'm saying you can do two picks.

Speaker 5 No, I'm saying it right now. It's Billy.
Don't roll your eyes at me. We had something like this last year where it is Jim Ursa's roof open tweet.
It's a big fucking deal. That is a big deal.

Speaker 5 It's sponsored and everything. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm going to allow it just for Jim Ursai.

Speaker 1 So if the roof's open, you're sticking with the Colts?

Speaker 5 I have every reason to believe that the roof will be open this weekend. But if it's closed.

Speaker 1 What's the weather? What's the weather in Indy on Sunday?

Speaker 1 I'll allow it. I think that's fair.

Speaker 6 74 and Sonny.

Speaker 1 Okay, so it will be open. It will be open.

Speaker 1 Okay, my underdog is very gross. I'm taking the Panthers plus three against the Saints.

Speaker 1 I mean, Jameis has a broken back. Yeah.
I don't know. And I feel like

Speaker 1 the Panthers are so bad, but

Speaker 1 a division home dog, I don't know. I don't have the stats in front of me.
I'm going to say it hits at 75%. That feels right.

Speaker 5 Two Heisman winning quarterbacks.

Speaker 1 Yep. Fuck.
It's gross.

Speaker 1 That's going to be one that I'm going to be very upset at myself on Sunday when I turn on that game. I'm like, ugh, why did I bet the Panthers?

Speaker 5 This to me has the vibe of a game where if the Panthers lose, then Matt Rule is officially fired. Yeah.
And they might not announce it for a couple weeks, but he will be.

Speaker 5 He can't reclaim his season afterwards. At this point, correct.

Speaker 1 Billy, you're underdog.

Speaker 5 I'm going with a hard Lions. We're going only Lions.
Okay. So I like the Lions plus six.
I think that they're looking for games that they can win to really go after for their record.

Speaker 5 I think they know that they can beat the Vikings.

Speaker 1 Like, look, they're not going to show up.

Speaker 5 You know, if the Chiefs come into town, I think it's going to be a little less high vibes. But as they did to the

Speaker 5 Commanders, they're going to go after teams they know they can take down. They did almost beat the Eagles, though, in week one.
Right. They thought that was a team they could take down.

Speaker 5 So they're like lions. They're hunting.
They're looking for animals they can take down.

Speaker 1 The weak, the sick, the commanders. The herds.

Speaker 5 I think the Vikings. This feels personal a little bit at this point because you're upset still about my roof.
No, I took this before you even said it. I think the Vikings are a limping animal.

Speaker 5 I think the Lions are going to bite some kneecaps and take them down.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.

Speaker 1 Jake.

Speaker 6 I'm going out west. I'm taking the Cardinals plus three and a half at home against the Rams.
The Rams obviously looked awful in week one. In week two, they did not close strong.

Speaker 6 They kind of held on for dear life in that week two game against the Falcons. And the Cardinals have a lot of momentum off of an emotional, crazy comeback victory against the Raiders.

Speaker 4 I think this is public money, Marsh, right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 McVay is six and one versus Kingsbury.

Speaker 5 Dominant. You remember it in the playoffs last year? Yeah.
You remember how bad that was?

Speaker 5 That was one of the worst offensive game plans. I don't even think they actually had an offensive game plan

Speaker 5 for the Cardinals. It was like snap the ball to Kyler.
He's going to run sideways and throw the ball out of bounds. That's pretty much what that is.

Speaker 1 That was the game that got me blocked by Kyler Murray. Yeah.
Because I said he was too short to play in the NFL.

Speaker 5 Well, did you see Brian Baldinger's video clip that he put out yesterday? No. So he did one of the baldy breakdowns, and it was the end zone angle of Kyler Murray.

Speaker 5 And he looked so fucking short from the end zone angle.

Speaker 5 It was tough. He looked like he was 5'7.
And as the play went on, because he kept drifting around, he got shorter. You have to watch this scammer angle.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 He shrunk down to like, it's like when Mario, you know, when he gets the mushroom and he grows, it's that in reverse.

Speaker 1 He got hit by a turtle. As the play goes on.

Speaker 5 He got struck by lightning. Yeah.
Like in Mario Kart, as the play goes on.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I just,

Speaker 1 I don't believe. I think the Cardinals, what they did last week against the Raiders, was like something that's just not sustainable.

Speaker 1 You can't be down 20-0 and hope Kyler Murray is superhuman for an entire half. I just think the Rams are a better team.
I feel like the Rams are going to.

Speaker 1 They did fuck up at the end of that Falcons game pretty badly, but they were killing them. They were killing him.

Speaker 5 uh we're gonna say billy the greatest description i saw of kyler murray is that he looks like a toddler running around with a stolen phone

Speaker 1 that's pretty good description yeah that is pretty good or a dog i know that feeling yeah dog with uh with a pair of like your socks yeah running around the house what do you think when kingsbury because mcvey i don't think mcvey had kingsbury in his wedding party but he was invited to his wedding that's just got to be like i own you dude Come give me a gift.

Speaker 1 I'm six and one against you.

Speaker 1 I just beat you in the playoffs to get my Super Bowl ring.

Speaker 5 I kind of disagree with you on that one. I feel like it's better sometimes to be invited to the wedding to not be part of the wedding party.

Speaker 1 No, oh, no, I'm very much a believer in that. I'm just saying for their relationship, like their friends, it's got to suck to be friends with someone who just owns you.
Yeah. Like owns you.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And you're like, yeah, we're still friends. Like at what point, if McVay goes 10-1 against Clint Kingsbury, Kingsbury as a man has to just be like, we're not friends anymore.
We can't be.

Speaker 5 This is not fair.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 You know, it would be tough. Like, what do you get him for a gift?

Speaker 5 If you're showing up to his wedding, what do you get the man that has everything? Yeah. What do you get the man that owns you?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can't get him, like, you can't give him your playbook. He already knows.

Speaker 5 Because haven't you given him enough? Right, right.

Speaker 1 Six and one. Okay.

Speaker 5 I brought my own leash for you to walk me around on.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right, exactly. Like, it's got to be a little awkward.

Speaker 1 Okay. Under, over, over.

Speaker 4 My over is going to be over 52 and a half in the Bills Dolphins game. Josh Allen, best quarterback in the league.

Speaker 1 Best friends of ours.

Speaker 4 The Bills have two rookie rookie cornerbacks playing.

Speaker 1 Nice. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I've known that about that for a while. So Jalen Waddle, Tyree Kill against two rookie cornerbacks.
I like that. It's a recipe for a lot of points.
I like it.

Speaker 1 I like it a lot. Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's going to be a fun game.

Speaker 5 That's going to be a very fun game.

Speaker 1 And maybe the Bills offense, like I said, if they just serve or lose town. They just fucking score 40 points a game.
Well,

Speaker 1 who's to say they can't?

Speaker 1 Max.

Speaker 8 I already talked about it a lot over in Bengals Jets. I think it's just going to be a fun game.

Speaker 1 Move. Fun game.
You think that's the fun?

Speaker 5 I think it's going to be fun. It's crazy if you had told me two years ago that Bengals Jets would be a fun game.

Speaker 8 Flacco, number three, number three in passing yards.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah, dude, Flacco is on fire. I am worried that his arm's going to literally fall off.
He's going to drop back to pass at one point, reach back, and then just a bloody stump.

Speaker 5 This might be his last game starting. Yeah, so...
Joe, leave it out.

Speaker 5 It might be your last time ever.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's going to throw it out.

Speaker 5 It's going to be a Friday Night Lights moment. It's like, this is the moment.
Right now, this is forever. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do it, Joe. I like it.
Okay,

Speaker 1 PFT, you're under. My under is Dolphins Bills under.
Whoa. Wait, are we still doing? We're doing overshoes.
Over. Sorry.
Sorry. Overs.
I got confused.

Speaker 5 My over is the Patriots Ravens over 43.5. I like it.

Speaker 1 I like that a lot. I think

Speaker 1 this ain't 44.

Speaker 5 Even better. I like it better at 44.
Again, this tells me I'm sharp with all my picks as the lines keep sliding in that direction. So over 44,

Speaker 5 the Ravens defense is absolute garbage. It sucks.
It stinks.

Speaker 1 It's trash. Yeah, Mac Jones,

Speaker 1 he has to be the guy in this game.

Speaker 5 He's got to be a guy.

Speaker 1 He's got to be the guy, Hank. He's got to be three touchdown passes.
He's got to have three touchdown passes.

Speaker 1 Keeping my guy ball. I think he will, but I'm saying he has to have a good game against the defense that's struggling.

Speaker 5 If Mac Jones doesn't have a good game,

Speaker 5 it's going to pile on to the guy conversation. Guy watch.
Guy watch. I mean, that's all you guys are just obsessed with, guys.

Speaker 1 He's guy polar. Yeah, I never had a guy.
So, yeah.

Speaker 1 Wouldn't you be obsessed with the thing that you've never been able to achieve?

Speaker 4 Yeah, I guess I just can't relate.

Speaker 4 I've been ODing on guys my whole life.

Speaker 5 Where is your guy now?

Speaker 1 He's in Tampa. He's in Tampa.
Yeah, that's true. That's a fact.

Speaker 1 All right, my.

Speaker 4 And the other one got suspended.

Speaker 1 My over is going to be

Speaker 1 Lions Vikings over 52.5.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I like that.
I just like it. Inside, I don't know.
The Lions.

Speaker 1 Short trip.

Speaker 4 Church non-primetime game.

Speaker 1 Non-primetime game against

Speaker 1 a defense that plays a lot more man than zone. He's just, and the Lions feel like they're going hunting.
Their offense has been electric the first two weeks. Give me that.

Speaker 5 Give me that. Lions' running game is actually pretty good.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Their offense is pretty good.

Speaker 5 Their offense is good. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're over, Billy. I like Packers Bucks for one and a half.

Speaker 5 I mean, we got two old dudes who I think are going to try to outplay each other.

Speaker 5 And it's going to be, you know, Aaron Rodgers and Tom Brady just swinging at each other, trying to see who's the last one standing.

Speaker 5 I mean, I don't know why this is such a low.

Speaker 1 Well, because the Bucs might have the best defense in the NFL.

Speaker 5 Yeah, so a couple of things. The Bucs defense, I think, might be number one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I like if I, my own power rankings, I don't do advanced stats.

Speaker 1 For my estimation of watching the first two weeks, they're the best defense in the NFL.

Speaker 5 The Packers have nobody at wide receiver. And the Bucks

Speaker 5 have nobody at wide receiver. So the Bucs just hired, they just signed Cole Beasley, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Right.

Speaker 5 And I mean, if you had told me like five weeks ago that Cole Beasley has never caught a pass from Tom Brady, I would call you a liar. I would say, like, yes, they've been together for a long time.

Speaker 1 I really like.

Speaker 5 He's not.

Speaker 1 I like that.

Speaker 5 He's like a scruffier version of Julian Edelman. Yes.
Like if Julian Edelman was an adopted dog, that's what Cole Beasley is.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Julian Edelman was in a puppy factory, puppy mill.
Yeah, he was a beautiful lab.

Speaker 5 He was a lab that you bought out of like Pet Smart.

Speaker 5 And even you can even go further that like Bill Wailichek was smart enough to be like oh our old lab is getting up there in age we need to keep him young by getting a puppy julian edelman so the old lab being wes welcome yes yeah so they they kept wes welker alive for a little bit had to put him down right julian advances and then now tom's like well i need to he moved out on his own he got his own place away from his dad bill he wants a dog that reminds him a little bit of the dog he grew up with but he doesn't have the money to pay for a puppy mill so he's like

Speaker 1 i'll adopt i'll adopt it on the side of the street this guy he was eating so he was eating out a can of tuna fish in my backyard. Yeah, he was trying to cross a highway.
I picked him up.

Speaker 1 I put him in the car. Now he's my slot receiver.
That's that's Cole Beasley. And Scotty Miller, I think, in this analogy would just be like a cat that is cool.
I think.

Speaker 5 A cool cat. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know how people have cats and they're like, no, it's like he plays fetch. He's basically a dog.
It's like, no, just get a dog.

Speaker 5 Yeah, Billy. This one doesn't have all the shots, though.

Speaker 1 Good point. Yeah.
Good point, Bill. True.
Good point.

Speaker 5 No, but the Bucks are

Speaker 5 the Dallas, the Cowboys, and the Saints are the two offenses that tested the Bucs. I still think Aaron Rodgers can get something done.

Speaker 1 The

Speaker 1 side, like if you were going to play devil's advocate to what I just said about the Bucs being the best defense and the Packers having a very good defense as well, it's just crazy that a total is 42 with Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers.

Speaker 5 It is nuts.

Speaker 1 And also quarterback.

Speaker 5 Keep this in mind, though.

Speaker 5 Matt LaFleur loves to kick field goals against the Bucs. So he might just go strictly field goal diet.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I should actually, yeah, we'll hit him up and be like, hey, dude, you don't have to only kick.

Speaker 5 Can we get a special bet in the Barspill Sports book on

Speaker 5 for Matt LaFleur this weekend?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Field goals made.

Speaker 1 Okay, you're over Jake.

Speaker 6 I'm with Hank on Bill's Dolphins over 52 and a half.

Speaker 1 Nice. It's going to be a fun game.

Speaker 1 All right, let's do the unders and then we'll clean up any games we didn't talk about.

Speaker 4 I'm going against Billy for the reasons we just talked about, and it's just, it makes no sense. It seems disgusting.
It's one of those, like,

Speaker 4 you hate it so much, you have to take it, but under 42 for the Bucs Packers yeah okay okay

Speaker 4 Brady with no weapons is a different different guy yeah yeah

Speaker 4 he can still grind out a win but it's it's it's and he's 45 yeah wow you're talking bad about your guy no no he was he was it was like that when he was on the Patriots like if Gronk was out or something was out it was a different yeah he's still a winning quarterback he'll he'll grind out a win but it's not going to be these were the type of explosive I used to love these games when Belichick was his coach when they'd like

Speaker 5 he'd be out of weapons and all of a sudden he'd just be handing the ball to like Aaron Hernandez 10 times a game.

Speaker 5 Like, they'd find somebody that has usually been like a sideshow in their offense and make that one guy the focal point for that one game. Then you never hear from him again.

Speaker 5 I just don't know who on the Bucs is going to take that role.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, Fournette.
Yeah, no, he's

Speaker 1 promised touchdowns. Yes, yes.
It is the touchdowns coming soon.

Speaker 1 You're under Max.

Speaker 7 This one pains me to say,

Speaker 8 but Commanders Eagles is going going to go under.

Speaker 1 Trap game for the Eagles.

Speaker 7 I just see this game being sloppy.

Speaker 5 I hate that field so much.

Speaker 7 Yep.

Speaker 8 And I don't know.

Speaker 7 I'm not going to be happy about this under, but I think it'll go under.

Speaker 5 I mean, it's a big-time revenge game. This might be the biggest revenge game of all.

Speaker 1 Which is scary because Carson Wentz is the number one guy where he does too much and it's a problem. Yeah, I think that's worse.
Yeah, really. That's worse for Wentz.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 a million percent worse. I'm going to fucking throw us

Speaker 1 a pass that gets us 10 touchdowns in the first play.

Speaker 5 Yeah, he's going to try, he's going to do the reenactment of him killing 75 ducks in an afternoon to the Eagles and probably fuck everything up. It's going to be a shitty day.
That field does suck.

Speaker 5 It almost killed Jalen Hurts last time. That's probably the best hope that we have is just have FedEx field collapse before the game.
If that happens, I like our chances and I love the under.

Speaker 1 Like Batman.

Speaker 6 47 and a half. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, you're under, PFT?

Speaker 5 My under, I'm taking Dolphins Bills under. Just to be a contrarian.

Speaker 1 A lot on this game.

Speaker 5 Just because

Speaker 5 I saw this line, I was like, I want to take the over. This is going to be an awesome game.
I want to root for it being awesome. And I got so excited about it.

Speaker 5 And I thought to myself, PFT, what are you doing right now? You're just taking an over because it would be fun to take an over. And so I faded myself.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Lot riding on this game every which way.

Speaker 1 My under, I'm going to do the Broncos Niners under 44.5 on advisors. Tommy gave us a stat.
It was something like the last 45 primetime games. It's 30 and 15 to the under.

Speaker 1 And I was like, oh, that's why I lose all my money. So I'm done.
I'm going to try to ride the wave now because that was like someone tells you, like, hey, here's exactly how you've lost everything.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's because every Sunday night we're sitting in the gambling cave being like, what's the play? Why not just take the over? Yeah, fuck it.

Speaker 5 Yeah. It's the fuck it play.

Speaker 5 It's the play that you make when you don't want to think too hard about it. Yeah, so let's be smart.

Speaker 1 Let's start just doing unders. You know what you got to do?

Speaker 1 It sucks, but you have to do it.

Speaker 5 Here's what you got to do. You lock it in right now.
Yeah. Because if you wait until Sunday, I guarantee you 100%.

Speaker 5 You wait until the afternoon slate.

Speaker 1 Oh, sure.

Speaker 5 And you're going to change it to the over. You've got to lock it in now.

Speaker 1 No doubt in my mind. Billy.

Speaker 5 I'm going with Texans and the Bears at 40.

Speaker 1 I like that play. It's just.
This game sucks.

Speaker 1 We're going to talk to Lovey Smith in a second.

Speaker 1 This game sucks.

Speaker 5 I've got a fun stat for you guys.

Speaker 5 And this isn't meant to be personal, Big Canada.

Speaker 1 No, that's fine.

Speaker 5 You just said the game sucks. You understand?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 5 Out of the top 32 quarterbacks in the NFL.

Speaker 1 I saw a stat. I've been tagged.

Speaker 5 Who has the least attempts? This will be for everybody else besides Big Cat. Top 32 quarterbacks in the NFL.
Who has the least attempts? Passing attempts.

Speaker 5 Well, Joe Flacco probably has the most, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 But the question was least, and we're talking about the Bears Texans. It feels like it's right there, guys.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Who's number 32? Can you name the Bears quarterback?

Speaker 4 Mike Mike Lennon.

Speaker 5 Who's number 32?

Speaker 1 Billy, can you name the Bears quarterback? Yes. Who's number 32? David Smills.

Speaker 5 No, it's not Davis Mills. Who is it? Number 32 in the league.

Speaker 1 Billy. Yates.

Speaker 5 Ohio State quarterback.

Speaker 1 He doesn't know his name. He doesn't know his name.
I blank on Navy. That's actually not the answer, but you don't know the name.
Yeah, so I do know.

Speaker 5 So number 32.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. Billy.

Speaker 4 Shawn Watson.

Speaker 5 Nope, close.

Speaker 1 Fuck.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 Billy.

Speaker 5 The quarterback that's number 32 on this list is Dak Prescott.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, but who's 32? Number three.
33. You got to name the guy.

Speaker 5 Is Justin Fields. Yeah.

Speaker 1 There it is.

Speaker 5 So out of he's the 33rd, he's a starting quarterback, but he has fewer attempts.

Speaker 1 We played in monsoon week one. This game's going to suck.
This game's going to be brutal. It also is a

Speaker 1 loser-leave town game in the fact that for the Bears that if they lose this game, we are all the good feelings from week one are gone, and it's officially, oh, we might be a bottom four team in in the nfl no it's officially just focus on literally moving to the suburbs later yeah and getting uh and getting uh bryce young there you go yeah

Speaker 1 they no the bears have to win this game if they lose this game the season is it's already the season's not going anywhere but i was clinging to the idea that they were a frisky team that would win somewhere between like six to seven games and win maybe one big game if they lose this game that is gone it's more like hey where where are our three wins so let's let's have that realistic conversation because I was thinking to myself after we lost to the Lions, who looked like a great team last week,

Speaker 5 what am I just like

Speaker 5 content with for the season?

Speaker 5 I honestly think I'm such a fucking loser that if you told me that we went 6-11, I'd be like, okay, that's cool.

Speaker 1 What about you? I'm a bigger loser because if you told me we went 2-15, but the second win was against the Packers, I'd be like, yes.

Speaker 1 Are you taking a bigger count in draft status?

Speaker 5 Because I'm not counting draft status.

Speaker 1 No, I'm saying if we beat the Packers, the rest of the, if we beat, if our second and only second win comes against the Packers, I'd be like, success.

Speaker 1 So that's as loser as you can get.

Speaker 5 We are just tremendous. Losing hurts, and I think that affects productivity.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 As Justin Fields said.

Speaker 1 Yes, that's true. It does hurt.
It hurts a lot.

Speaker 1 Let's finish up. You're under, and then we'll hit any other games we missed.

Speaker 6 I'm with Billy, under 40. All right, Texans Bears.

Speaker 1 Good one. What games did we miss? We missed the Titans and the Raiders.
The loser leaves town game.

Speaker 1 I think we might have a little bit of Josh McDaniels,

Speaker 1 Derek Carr on different pages. Watch.
It might not be on the same page because we had in the preseason. I'm going to pull it up real quick.
Wait, I thought I wrote it down. Oh, no, I did a screenshot.

Speaker 1 In the preseason, Josh McDaniels said

Speaker 1 this quote. I'm finding it.
Hold, please, hold, please, hold, please. Here it is.
Josh McDaniels says, you can't win until you learn how not to lose. Yeah.

Speaker 5 I believe that is a Trent Dilpher quote.

Speaker 1 Yes, but now Derek Carr last week said, we have to learn how to win.

Speaker 5 But first, you have to learn not to lose.

Speaker 1 Right, but they haven't done that first part, so it feels like they're on different pages.

Speaker 1 But it sounds like Derek Carr is trying to learn how to win, and Josh McDaniels is trying to learn how to not lose.

Speaker 5 In a way,

Speaker 5 Derek Carr is trying to learn how to not lose, though, because he's trying to learn how to win.

Speaker 1 Right, but he's a step step ahead of Josh McDaniels because before you learn how to win, you have to learn not to lose. And he's going straight to we have to learn how to win.

Speaker 5 But they've learned how to not win.

Speaker 1 Right, but they have not learned how to not lose.

Speaker 5 Learn how to lose and not win, but he's saying that he wants to learn how to win.

Speaker 1 Right, but they have not learned how to not lose yet.

Speaker 5 I think you have to learn how to win before you learn how to not lose.

Speaker 1 I agree, but this is clearly a miscommunication.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like Josh McDaniels.

Speaker 5 Like, I understand exactly what you're saying.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. He's saying to his team that we have to learn how to not lose in order to win, and they haven't done that part because you saw the second half against the Cardinals.

Speaker 1 And Derek Carr's like, no, no, no, no. We have to learn how to win first.

Speaker 5 I think first you have to learn that you cannot lose and win at the same time.

Speaker 1 Right. But it's, just watch it.
They're not on the same page.

Speaker 1 That's a... Confusing message that's coming out of the radio.

Speaker 5 It's a red flag. Yeah.

Speaker 5 It sounds like McDaniels put up a slide on an overhead projector saying something along the lines of winning versus not losing. Right.
And then

Speaker 5 Derek Carr

Speaker 5 wrote down in a notebook, like a Marble notebook, what it said, and then tried to read it later, and his handwriting was too messy and just mixed it all up when he tried to say it to the press.

Speaker 1 Right, right.

Speaker 5 Exactly. A very sad game in the afternoon slate is the Falcons and the Seahawks.
Yes. Falcons at the Seahawks.
I just think this is a sad, sad state of affairs.

Speaker 5 I don't know why, but when I see Falcons at Seahawks 425, I just think nobody, nobody should be subjected to watching this game.

Speaker 1 Here's something that's even sadder.

Speaker 1 Pete Carroll went on his radio show this week and said, it's time to let Geno cook.

Speaker 5 That's sad. I don't want to see that.

Speaker 1 No, I don't. That's like asking Billy to cook.

Speaker 1 I don't want that.

Speaker 5 It's like asking Jesse Pinkman to cook.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we don't need this. We don't want this,

Speaker 1 what you're offering, Pete Carroll. But he said it in a way that was like, yeah, we're finally going to, Geno knows the offense.
We're going to let him free.

Speaker 1 Is that smart? It doesn't feel smart.

Speaker 5 I also think that Vegas saw this game game and they were like, you know what? Who gives a fuck? Let's just call it a pick'em. Call it a pick'em.

Speaker 5 It's impossible to handicap this game. Fun stat last week.
I don't know if this has ever happened in the course of an NFL game. Marcus Mariota was zero for zero on two Hail Mary attempts.

Speaker 5 So he had one to end the first half, and then they had one to end the second half. And both times he just kind of drifted around for a while and didn't throw the ball.

Speaker 5 Zero for zero on two Hail Mary attempts.

Speaker 1 That's like the the old Shane Battier.

Speaker 1 When he would, if he got the ball at the end of a quarter, he would wait till the buzzer sounded, then launch the three so his shooting percentage didn't go down.

Speaker 5 Yeah, that's why a lot of players don't take like full court heaves at the end of quarters.

Speaker 1 I also have a weird stat I forgot to bring up when we were talking about the Panthers Saints game that is gross. Matt Ruhl

Speaker 1 is one in 24 when allowing 17 plus points.

Speaker 1 You literally just have to score 17 points to to beat the Panthers. That checks out.
That's so bad.

Speaker 5 But on the other hand, you could say that if you flip that stat around and you see what their record is when they hold their opponents under

Speaker 5 17 points?

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're really good. They're pretty good.
They're really, really good.

Speaker 5 So the defense just needs to show up.

Speaker 1 That's a wild 17, and I think the league average is something like 24, 25, maybe a little less, but still 17 points to beat the Panthers. You can just...

Speaker 1 walk into the locker room and be like, guys, two touchdowns and a field goal. We win this game.
Guaranteed. Except for that that one time.

Speaker 5 Because he's one of the best.

Speaker 5 Who was that game against? I don't know. That's a good question.
Just based on vibes only, I feel like.

Speaker 5 Probably the Falcons. I bet the Falcons beat him one time.

Speaker 5 I bet the Panthers beat the Falcons one time. Let's see.

Speaker 1 Vibes only. I'm checking.
2021.

Speaker 1 Let's see.

Speaker 1 They won. They won.
They won.

Speaker 1 Nope.

Speaker 1 When did he become coach? He became coach in 2020.

Speaker 6 It didn't happen in 2020 either, though.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they won. They beat the Cardinals 31-21.
There it is. Okay, so they went one time.
They went off time. You were close.
The Falcons. They beat the Falcons 23-16.
Oh, that's beautiful.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. One point.

Speaker 1 If the Falcons had scored 17 there, the Panthers would have lost 23-17.

Speaker 5 The Falcons probably missed an extra point to ruin that stat for me.

Speaker 1 What a stat, though.

Speaker 5 The Falcons just Falcons to me.

Speaker 1 It's quite something.

Speaker 5 But shout out to the Falcons. Actually, I don't want to talk that much shit about them.

Speaker 1 Because Because, yeah, because vibes are changing.

Speaker 5 Will Compton, year 10 loading.

Speaker 5 If they win this game just based on the promise of a Will Compton workout,

Speaker 5 then that could change an entire season around.

Speaker 1 Yeah, absolutely. I think we hit everything.
Yeah. I mean, Monday Night Football.

Speaker 1 The only thing I'm going with that is that if you close your eyes and you say the Giants are 3-0, that makes no sense.

Speaker 5 It's also a white-out game.

Speaker 5 They're whiting it out.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 So full, I think the full white kit.

Speaker 1 And it feels like a game that Micah Parsons is going to end up humping Daniel Jones after a sack. After six sacks.

Speaker 5 So I also think that

Speaker 5 we had our fun with Cooper Rush.

Speaker 1 Last week was a week where it's like,

Speaker 5 yeah, Cooper Rush had his moment. It's not going to carry over.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Well, if he can do one drive, if he can do one drive, I think the Cowboys can win the game.

Speaker 5 Jerry said that he would walk all the way to New York City if it meant that Cooper Rush was going to make it a tough decision for him whether or not to put Dak back in when Dak healed up. Wow.

Speaker 5 And I've also heard that Dak is on the field. He's getting back to practice because he has just a hand injury.

Speaker 5 So hopefully before the game, we'll get to see some of the hip activations

Speaker 5 through the Sky Cam. Yep.
That was an all-time moment.

Speaker 1 Okay, that was our weekend preview.

Speaker 1 Our Mount Rushmore bet this week. Hit last week.
Reminder, Barstool Sportsbook, all it has to do is four guys have to go over 50 yards. Hank, what's your pick?

Speaker 1 This will be in the exclusive section on Sunday morning. Hit last week.
I think it was like plus 185. Let's do it.
Let's get a hot streak.

Speaker 4 Saquon Barkley.

Speaker 1 All right. Saquon, let's go.
Saquon, no, got to pick Saquon. Oh, yeah, that's Monday.

Speaker 1 Fuck. All right, we'll come back to you.
We're doing Fournette again. TFT.
You're doing Fournette. Leonard Fournette.

Speaker 5 Oh, shit. Okay, you took my...
That's fine. I can switch it up.
I'm going to go with

Speaker 5 Joe Mixon.

Speaker 1 Okay. Joe Mixon, I'm going to go with my guy, David Montgomery.
Texans' rush defense has not been good, and I don't think the Bears are going to pass ever. So David Montgomery will be in there.

Speaker 1 So Leonard Fournette, David Montgomery, Joe Mixon, and Hank.

Speaker 4 Does it have to be a running back?

Speaker 1 Yes, that's the Mount Rushmore.

Speaker 5 Definitely has to be a running back.

Speaker 1 I don't think it has to be a running back.

Speaker 1 You were going to be Lamar. What are you thinking of? Do Hurts?

Speaker 4 Do Hurts? I was going to do Josh Allen.

Speaker 1 No, I'll throw some names. Do you want some names? Austin Eckler might not be bad because you don't know what Justin Herbert's going to be.
They might lean on him. Chubb.

Speaker 1 Nope. That's Thursday night.

Speaker 1 Let's go. We got something.

Speaker 4 Damien Harris.

Speaker 1 Nah. Nah.
Brees Hall? No. Nah.
Ah. Man, maybe.

Speaker 1 I kind of like Dalvin. I'm really putting a lot of thought into it.

Speaker 4 James Robinson, final answer. Okay.

Speaker 1 Against the charge. It's going to be a juicy one, I feel.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. David Montgomery and James Robinson.

Speaker 4 Josh Allen gets 50 yards. You owe me.

Speaker 1 Well, no. The rules are it's got to be running backs.
It does not have to be running backs? I don't think it has to be running back. All right, fine.
Josh Allen's fights.

Speaker 1 I think it just has to be Russians. Josh Allen's the pick.
All right. You sure you want to do that?

Speaker 1 Yes. Okay.
Yes.

Speaker 5 Forgot to say for the Bears under, even though right now it says it's really nice weather, there might be some lake weather coming off. That's good for the Bears.

Speaker 1 It's unforeseen. It's good bear weather.

Speaker 5 Checked in with Canada.

Speaker 1 Okay, nice.

Speaker 1 Before we get to Lovey Smith and talk about the Bears Texans and then Morton Anderson, let's do Fantasy Russells. Fantasy Russell Wilson's.
Let's see how this goes, boys.

Speaker 1 Hey, let's ride. Hey, let's ride.
Let's ride. Let's stay positive.

Speaker 1 Let's ride.

Speaker 1 Hello, gentlemen. Hey!

Speaker 4 My name's Barney Abernathy.

Speaker 1 Let's see.

Speaker 4 My stardom is stealing money from the government to pay for a volleyball court.

Speaker 1 Love that.

Speaker 4 No one's really going to care, and you'll still be in the Hall of Fame.

Speaker 1 It's jail for him. Great.
It's like Robin Hood. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The complete reverse.

Speaker 4 If you're a legend, it doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 Robin the Hood.

Speaker 4 My sitem

Speaker 1 is hooking up with co-workers. Oh, no.

Speaker 4 It's not a good idea. It's always going to end badly.

Speaker 4 And it's just not something you want to do. Oh,

Speaker 4 take it from experience.

Speaker 1 Anyone settle down?

Speaker 5 One wife, one life. Find that hole and stick in it.
Email. Don't shit where you eat.

Speaker 1 My sleeper is Jerry Judy.

Speaker 5 Oh.

Speaker 5 Jerster.

Speaker 4 It's Rosh Hashanah's coming up, right? Sure. Rosh Hashanah's coming up.

Speaker 1 Happy New Year. Happy New Year.
Happy, happy, happy.

Speaker 4 52, 71, I think.

Speaker 4 Jerry Judy's going to have a big game. I'm going to get him the ball.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 5 Try to get him six points.

Speaker 1 Star David. Yeah.
Let's ride.

Speaker 5 My starting.

Speaker 4 What's your name, sir?

Speaker 5 Oh, hey, this is Russell Wilson. Oh, it's supposed to be.
Let's ride.

Speaker 1 I had a fake name, too.

Speaker 1 I'm Russell Wilson.

Speaker 5 And my starting is getting that extra hour of work in.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 It's finally fall, so set your clocks back this weekend. One hour.
That means that's you get an extra hour to be an extra hour greater than you were an hour ago.

Speaker 5 nice the automobile equinox let's ride let's ride i'm sitting my own head coach when he hears that he has an extra hour of clock management to screw it up oh sorry nathaniel nate

Speaker 1 dog get in the lad

Speaker 1 run pass pass

Speaker 1 my

Speaker 1 sleeper is kirk cousins big bounce back week this week big bounce back from funny guy from old kirky yeah great family man captain kirk i call him uh perk cousins he's not a sleeper nice okay

Speaker 1 uh what's up guys it's james tinselberry

Speaker 1 call me jimmy if you want titty fossils uh my stardom is jeff bezos great guy inspiring guy someone i look up to personally he might buy the sons way to go what an entrepreneur yeah business leader i love it he's he's changing lives

Speaker 1 and philanthropists all right my sidem is money so my good friend garyvee Vee once told me, people are chasing cash, not happiness. When you chase money, you're going to lose.
You're just going to.

Speaker 1 Even if you get the money, you aren't going to be happy.

Speaker 1 Now, I can say that because I just signed a $250 million contract, but just remember, guys, it's really cool when a rich person tells you, don't chase the money.

Speaker 5 Just shoot your family.

Speaker 1 Yeah, shoot your family. Think about what that does to you.
Okay, that sucked. All right, my sleeper is also,

Speaker 1 or sorry, my sleeper is mirrors.

Speaker 1 And it's also a quote from my good friend gary v mirrors look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself what you want to be every day for the rest of your life i want to be a quarterback that doesn't throw in the middle of the field that's awesome cool that's awesome yeah i respect that you got that grind sense yeah don't break the mirror let's rise seven years bad luck Also, I looked in a mirror once and I was like, don't fuck Sierra before you get married to her or something.

Speaker 1 I think that was a story.

Speaker 5 I really like to look in the mirror at myself when I'm having sex with Sierra.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Premaritals, no good. Cool.

Speaker 5 All right, fam. What's got? What's good, guys?

Speaker 1 What's good? What's good? It's him. Oh, there you go.
That's him. Nice.

Speaker 5 My stardom.

Speaker 1 Jesus? No, no. I mean, it's him.

Speaker 5 I'm him. So, my stardom is faith.

Speaker 1 Faith. Love it.
Love it.

Speaker 1 Not just the name at the strip club.

Speaker 5 My sidem, low effort.

Speaker 1 You need high effort. You always need high effort.
You always need high effort. Motor.
Effort. Pass.
Yeah, Pat. Run.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 Got to keep you calling. And my sleeper is Jesus.
Oh, oh, okay. Because he always loves you.

Speaker 1 Just for three days he slept. Yeah.
Woke right up. Exactly.
Rise and grind.

Speaker 5 Nice. Always will give you forgiveness.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Coach's sons.
Especially when you throw an interception on the one-yard line in the Super Bowl.

Speaker 5 He's got a plan. Yep.

Speaker 1 He does have that plan.

Speaker 5 Great excuse for everything, too.

Speaker 1 Okay. Absolutely.
All right. That was Fantasy Russell Wilson's.
I don't know how that will go. I had some.
That was fun. Lost Jules.
I mean, that's really the bar for me. That is the barometer.

Speaker 1 Hank, would you like to speak about your coach at all? Emay?

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 Emay.

Speaker 5 He may want to keep it in his pants.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So he's dipping his pen into.

Speaker 5 He may want to go to couples counseling.

Speaker 1 What's going on here, Hank?

Speaker 4 Just a lot of rumors and scuttlebutt. I haven't seen anything official from the team.
Just Woge saying he's probably going to be suspended for a year. Eme.

Speaker 1 It was an all-time Wojpson.

Speaker 4 Well, Big Cat also.

Speaker 1 I gave you wrong information. I was trying to help you.

Speaker 4 I wasn't locked locked in on the internet last night, and I got some texts from Bitcat being like, don't worry about it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was wrong. That was my mindset.
I was talking to everyone in the Celtics organization.

Speaker 4 That was my mindset when I went out. I was like, oh, don't worry about it.
Woke up, and it was like, he's going to be spending for a year.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the Woge bomb was so funny because it was, someone tweeted, it was so perfect. Woge was like, Ime Udoka is facing a suspension for

Speaker 1 team infractions.

Speaker 1 Team guidelines. Team guidelines could be

Speaker 1 suspension could be coming in the next 24 hours.

Speaker 5 And someone was like, I don't know if he missed a flight or killed someone yeah woach was that vague about it so what happened was somebody somebody leaked the information to woach that he was about to be suspended but he didn't tell him why because that person wanted people to speculate why he was going to be suspended there's no other reason to do it so then woach puts out this cryptic tweet and the cryptic tweet was almost daring shams to go ahead and find out what the real scoop was which ended up happening so woach kind of got played like a fiddle in this one yeah he did getting suspended Obviously, you got to wait for more details to come out.

Speaker 4 I don't know if they will, but

Speaker 4 there's just a lot of question marks with, like, the, you know,

Speaker 4 they're very upfront and forward saying it was a consensual

Speaker 4 relationship or whatever.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 4 why would you get suspended for a year for that?

Speaker 4 There's rumors that it was, you know, a member, like a high-ranking member of the Celtics' wife, and that guy is upset, and that's why the suspension is so long, which

Speaker 4 kind of makes sense.

Speaker 4 and also just the fact that it got leaked means to me possibly that it was someone in the Celtics who was upset and just hates EMA and wanted to get it out there but like

Speaker 4 the Celtics the Celtics are you know they're a win-at-all cost organization like it

Speaker 5 I I don't know what the details could have been that's so bad that they have to spend them for a year do you think Brad Stevens found out about this maybe it was this violation of guidelines and Brad Stevens was like we got a pretty good team I kind of want to coach again.

Speaker 5 Yeah. Let's suspend him for a year.

Speaker 1 This feels like more of a

Speaker 1 like who he sleeps with, especially if it's two consenting adults. Who cares? It's more of a judgment thing.
Like, hey, don't do that if

Speaker 1 the other person's married. I think he was in a relationship.
Yeah, he's alone. He's engaged.

Speaker 4 It's in like the sat next to her, one of the games.

Speaker 1 All the like

Speaker 1 it's fucking organization. I don't know.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 5 He could have fucked you, hang.

Speaker 1 Yeah, big time. Yeah, he probably had eyes for you.

Speaker 5 Yeah, when you, when you you did that pump fake, he was like, wow, he's got great hands.

Speaker 1 It's a crazy plot twist that we all thought the horniest coach by far was Doc Rivers

Speaker 1 for liking all that porn the other night, but it's Emei. Yeah.

Speaker 4 We also have Rick Petino as a coach.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well,

Speaker 1 on the NBA, but Shadow Stav.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, no, I'm coached on the Celtics. He's on the Celtics, yeah.
But I'm saying right now, he's not. Yeah, but I think that

Speaker 5 you guys are right in that if it was between two consenting adults,

Speaker 5 the only way it's worth a year-long suspension, there are two ways I think. One is if it's with somebody's wife that's in the franchise that's screwing up like the entire workplace dynamic.

Speaker 5 Two is if Imei is this person's boss,

Speaker 5 and then that could be an issue, too. If it's just somebody in a different part of the organization entirely, I don't see a year suspension.

Speaker 5 And what's weird is, like, why do you suspend him for a year instead of firing him? Because it seems way more reasonable.

Speaker 1 Well, he's a good coach.

Speaker 5 Well, I know, but a year-long suspension is a fucking long suspension.

Speaker 1 No, I know.

Speaker 5 It's weird that there's like some sort of middle ground where it's not firable, but also he's away from the team for an entire calendar year.

Speaker 1 It's a crazy story.

Speaker 4 It's also fucked up. You know, obviously, again, all signs point to this leaking from the Celtics coming out, but it's like...

Speaker 4 It just fucks over the entire organization, and now everyone's speculating on who the woman was, and they're putting out

Speaker 1 all the

Speaker 4 every woman that works in the organization.

Speaker 5 Like, it's like it's a shitty, shitty, shitty situation.

Speaker 1 Uh, shout out our good friend Stavros, though, because um, he when he was on to do the NBA playoff preview, he was like, Eme fucks, and he was exactly right.

Speaker 5 I mean, he's a hot dude.

Speaker 1 I, yeah, he's a hot dude, yeah.

Speaker 1 He's a hot dude, and hot dudes tend to fuck.

Speaker 5 Are hot chicks out?

Speaker 5 What do you mean? Like, are they not cool anymore? Or is the moment of hot chicks over? Because it's it seems like it's a pandemic right now where it's like Emei's fiancé, Nia. Is that her name?

Speaker 1 Nia Long, yeah.

Speaker 5 Nia Long, Emily Rodzikowski,

Speaker 5 just got cheated on. Adam Levine,

Speaker 1 that whole thing.

Speaker 5 Seems like hot women are having a tough go of it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Thoughts and prayers. Thoughts and prayers to hot women.

Speaker 1 But hot dudes are having a moment. Yeah.

Speaker 5 City Boys up.

Speaker 1 Yeah. City Boys.
City Boys.

Speaker 5 Boys are buzzing.

Speaker 4 No, City Boy's down.

Speaker 1 Oh, City Boy's Down?

Speaker 4 Yeah, you could spend it for a year.

Speaker 1 That's down.

Speaker 1 That is bad.

Speaker 1 For fucking, that's bad.

Speaker 5 Yeah, that is bad. A pretty bad punishment, too, to have

Speaker 5 have to go home and spend every single day with your fiancé that you just cheated on. Yeah.
That's a tough. It's tough.
That's a tough deal.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. Let's get to our interviews.
Lovey Smith, Morton Anderson.

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Speaker 1 All right, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is Coach Houston Texans head coach Lovey Smith.

Speaker 1 Thank you for joining us.

Speaker 1 The first thing I want to get out of the way just to start is that we are both members of Mills Mafia.

Speaker 10 Yes.

Speaker 10 You know, Big Cat, I'm a part of the Mills Mafia, too.

Speaker 10 A lot of faith, of course, in Davis.

Speaker 10 You know, we as a football team hadn't played our best ball yet, but really excited about what we're going to do in the future.

Speaker 1 And can I just say one thing, too, is that, like,

Speaker 1 don't say Davis is our quarterback just to, you know, trigger up old memories. Just maybe just say, I'm part of Mills Mafia.

Speaker 10 What old memories? I, you know, I have a hard time thinking about some of the things I've said in the past, you know.

Speaker 10 But, you know, when a guy is your quarterback, though,

Speaker 10 I don't want it to be anyone to wonder.

Speaker 10 And that was easy. That was easy back then with Rex.
I mean, Rex led us to a Super Bowl.

Speaker 10 And I'm excited about what Davis Mills is going to do for us here.

Speaker 5 Yeah, as a defensive coach, are you, when you're watching practice, like we root, we're in Mills Mafia for sure, but when you're watching practice, do you find yourself rooting more for the defense?

Speaker 10 Well, in training camp, I would say so. You know, I call plays here defensively.
So it's a little bit different relationship through through training camp.

Speaker 10 Once the regular season comes here, it's a little bit different then.

Speaker 10 And even in training camp, I mean, I never have a bad day. I mean, if defense gets burned and offense is doing well,

Speaker 10 I'm really a part of offense then, loving that. So you can't go wrong either way.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you've coached, I mean, some incredible defenses, some incredible players. Do you have one player that sticks out to you that is just, you know, they were just different for whatever it may be?

Speaker 1 I mean, there's, again, there's a long, long long list of great players you've coached.

Speaker 10 Yes, and I'm not going to make that mistake. I made that mistake before.

Speaker 10 I was asked kind of a similar question, and I started talking about a player at my current stop.

Speaker 10 And right after I got through with the interview, I got a call from another Hall of Fame player on the other end. Say, hey, love you, what's up with this?

Speaker 10 So I'll just say, everywhere I've been, I know y'all in Chicago, you know, you love a lot of things that's happened in Chicago.

Speaker 10 Great memories. I've,

Speaker 10 you know, talked to a lot of the guys from the past this week, knowing that we're coming back in town, but learned so much from the, you know, the names that you know about in Chicago.

Speaker 10 Seemed like every stop along the way, there is a player that has influenced me some kind of way, whether it be through a Hall of Fame type career or just, you know, coming into work with your lunch pale each day.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I'm not a Chicago guy. I'm about to be a Chicago guy in a matter of months here.
You're going back to Chicago. Can you tell me, like, like, where are you?

Speaker 5 Do you have any place that you're looking forward to visiting when you're going back into town? Like, if I'm looking at one restaurant, if I got one meal in Chicago to eat, where am I going?

Speaker 10 Again, I try to stay away from those too. Just keep in mind, we,

Speaker 10 my wife is from Chicago, so we've maintained a condo in Chicago throughout. So I spend time there, you know, a little bit of time in offseason every year.
And you just talk food.

Speaker 10 There are so many great places downtown, you know, to eat Joe's, Gibson's, Gibson's,

Speaker 10 Carmine's, you know,

Speaker 10 it's a lot about what food do you like? What food are you looking for? So many things to do in the summertime, in the fall, to stay away from there in the winter.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So,

Speaker 1 you know, after you left the Bears and you went to Tampa, then Illinois, now Houston, has there been any moments where you've looked back and you've kind of maybe chuckled a little?

Speaker 1 Like, wow, things haven't really gone well for the Bears since I left?

Speaker 10 Oh, no. You know, I can't say that's the case.

Speaker 1 You know, when I left the Bears. I can.
I could say that.

Speaker 5 I could say the case. I can absolutely say that's the case.

Speaker 10 You know, I had a disagreement on

Speaker 10 where our program was when I was removed from my job there with the Bears. I'll acknowledge that.
You know, most of the time you lead a team that 10 wins, you don't get fired. But

Speaker 10 life happens that way. Seemed like to me in my career, every time seemed like it was a setback.
It's really been a setup, something bigger and better. And I'm a guy from Texas.

Speaker 10 I played high school football, product of Texas high school football. So every stop or every job that I had that

Speaker 10 it didn't end well, it led me to, as I see it, my, you know, the perfect job for me of coaching the Houston, Texas.

Speaker 1 So I want to, you brought up high school football, Texas high school football. I remember hearing a story about your team in Texas high school football.

Speaker 1 And I, because it's been a few years since I was told the story, I was like, oh, yeah, didn't they have like some dominant defense or something? I went and looked it up.

Speaker 1 In 1975, Lovey Smith played for Big Sandy High School. They won the Texas State Championship.
They gave up 15 points in the entire season. I don't even know.

Speaker 1 I still don't understand how that's possible. How is that possible?

Speaker 10 Well, it was, you know, sometimes you're just at the perfect place at the perfect time. And

Speaker 10 that team was a special team. You know, on the offensive side of the ball, we scored 820 points in the 14-game season.
That was pretty special, but you play 14 games and you get 11 shutouts.

Speaker 10 That's hard to do.

Speaker 10 Just glad that I was a part of it. So

Speaker 10 that's what when you come from that environment,

Speaker 10 you expect to win a lot of football games. And hopefully that's what we've ended up doing here.

Speaker 5 So you give up seven points a game

Speaker 5 a couple times over the course of that season.

Speaker 10 Were you mad at yourself after the game did you like have to chew out your teammates well i i remember that well too we uh two of the we gave up two touchdowns and both times our cornerback fell down that's kind of rest of the story too we gave up a safety uh in the state championship game so again those things don't happen very often uh special group in that group so pitcher 18 guys being on the team or so And one of the guys on the football team was David Overstreet that ended up being the 13th player in the NFL drafts, played for the Miami Dolphins.

Speaker 10 So

Speaker 10 Lightning hit at the perfect time there.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, two touchdowns in 14 games. Again, I remember hearing about it, and then when I looked it up, I was like, wait, 15 points in an entire season?

Speaker 1 Do you guys get on the phone or like have meetups every now and then and just laugh about because that had to be the most fun team to ever play for?

Speaker 10 Yeah, still. You know,

Speaker 10 a lot of your high school friends, buddies, are lifetime buddies for you, and that's the case for me. Some of us do.

Speaker 10 I know every time we get together, the conversation normally leads, you know, some kind of way back to the good old days.

Speaker 10 That's what you do, you know, when you get a little bit older, and rightfully so.

Speaker 5 You pop champagne every time a

Speaker 5 high school football team in Texas allows their third touchdown of the year, knowing that your record will never be broken.

Speaker 5 That's honestly an incredible stat.

Speaker 5 I have been an admirer of your defenses that you've coached and that you've drawn up for a while. I personally think that the Tampa II defense is on its way back.

Speaker 5 It's like it's making a little bit of a comeback here. And

Speaker 5 you had a significant part in creating that defense.

Speaker 5 Do you think that,

Speaker 5 I guess, what's one word that you would use to describe the Tampa 2 defense when it's played perfectly?

Speaker 10 When it's played,

Speaker 10 you know, one word would be hard to say. I just think, first off, just cover two in general.
Like nowadays, you know, what do defenses play? You can play man.

Speaker 10 Most people, all people play some form of man, some form of three deep, some form of cover four quarters. But the corners are by, they're just one-on-one with a receiver outside.

Speaker 10 The wide receivers are getting paid a lot of money. I think you have to have a defense to give them a little bit of relief.

Speaker 10 So that's why cover two, yeah, I think every game I've coached, I think cover two has been a base part of our game plan going in. And when you say it's making a comeback,

Speaker 10 there is a place for it. And it's certain situations.
You know, most people assume we play covered, you know, you have 50 plays, 49 of the plays, we're playing cover two. That's not the case.

Speaker 10 You have to, you know, have, do it all, but there are moments when you want to corner just to really be able to double team a guy, you have to be able to play cover two.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So hypothetical, you,

Speaker 1 whether it be cover two or any other defense, let's just say I gave you a team and 10 of the guys on defense were average, just league average, and you got to pick one position that that was elite.

Speaker 1 What would your position be?

Speaker 10 Well, I say it would be a defensive lineman, and then I would say, okay,

Speaker 10 who is the closest defender to the quarterback?

Speaker 10 And so I would say three technique. And we've had, you know, I've had the privilege of being around a special Hall of Fame three technique.

Speaker 10 in Warren Sap.

Speaker 10 So it would be that. The next position, you say, okay, now one, you know, one one B, it's still about the front, defensive lineman, a defensive end.

Speaker 10 And as we've been putting our defense together, you just look right down the middle of the field. Then I think you need one special linebacker.
I've been a part, I've been around a few of those.

Speaker 10 And safety-wise,

Speaker 10 our defenses, you know, our defenses have a Hall of Famer, I think, at just about every position. But you first take care of the

Speaker 10 middle of the field. So that's three technique, a linebacker and a safety.

Speaker 1 Okay, I like that. Yeah,

Speaker 5 you have coached some outstanding players over the course of your career.

Speaker 5 I was actually looking back at some of the players that you've coached, and I remembered about London Fletcher, London Fletcher, the linebacker in St. Louis.

Speaker 5 I think he's one of the most underrated players, at least in the last 30 years of the NFL.

Speaker 5 And I was looking at his dimensions, and I'd like for you to explain to me

Speaker 5 how it's physically possible for a man who's 5'9,

Speaker 5 weighs 240 pounds to run a 4'440

Speaker 10 well i that goes that tells you exactly what's important i think about a linebacker london fletcher was more like a 4'5 guy so he could run as well as the running backs could and when you're five when you're five nine five ten you're compact you're going to be down low You're going to be able to get down underneath defenders, offensive players, linemen's pads.

Speaker 10 And in London, he was one of the smartest guys that you'll be around. So

Speaker 10 the most overrated thing I think there is about just a player in general is size and especially height.

Speaker 10 So London had all of the things that you really need. And if you look at his career, yes.
I mean, never missed a game and could do everything you're asking.

Speaker 10 you know, a defensive player, a linebacker to do.

Speaker 1 This might be a dumb question, but in the coaching,

Speaker 1 in like the meeting room before games, and you're going over the game plan, when the Bears were rolling with you and your defense was out of this world, and the offense was the offense, to quote you, Rex is our quarterback.

Speaker 1 The offense was the offense. Would you guys sit there and be like, all right, well, we can get at least one from Devin? Like, we're good.
Like, did you pencil it into the game plan?

Speaker 1 Like, Devin Hester will get loose once and we'll have at least six points out of this.

Speaker 10 Well, I think a lot of you hear you get the coach talk. You know,

Speaker 10 they say, hey, it takes all three phases, offense, defense, special team. I believe that.
Yeah. And when you've had an opportunity to see just about every

Speaker 10 touchdown that Devin Hester scored, and you see that that has happened where offense, defense not really working, but what you, you know, Devin Hesser scores two times on,

Speaker 10 you know, with special teams. That's definitely the case.
But for me, yes, a part of it is, hey, guys, you talk these groups. Special teams, you got to have it.

Speaker 10 We got to need at least one big, make a difference play.

Speaker 10 And from there, defensively. You know, a lot of people like right now say, okay, who's the best defense in football? They say, well, total yards.

Speaker 10 That's one of the least important statistic you should be looking at. It's first off, scoring.
And defensively. It's not a good game.
Our goal is to take the ball away three times.

Speaker 10 If you're plus three in a turnover ratio, you have a chance to win. So scoring, third down, red zone, defense.
Right now,

Speaker 10 one of the things we've done well around here, once the team gets down there, you got to force them to kick field goals instead of touchdown.

Speaker 10 So

Speaker 10 I talked about things like that and how to play complimentary football offensively. Part of that turnover ratio is not turning the ball over.

Speaker 5 Right. And you had a quarterback, like we've said, Rex Grossman, RG3, the original RG3, Rex Grossman the third.
He was not afraid to take shots. He took a lot of shots.

Speaker 5 Some would say he loved taking shots.

Speaker 5 As a coach, how do you balance

Speaker 5 the fact that you want your quarterback to be able to make plays with the fact like, like you said, if you lose the turnover battle, you put yourself in a pretty tough position where you're going to be relying on your defense to score or relying on your special teams to score.

Speaker 5 Would you have any like push and pull with Rex after games where he just went out there and went full Rex on you?

Speaker 10 Well, I can't remember a lot of those times. I just know on how we look at our quarterback position now.

Speaker 10 Yes, we want to take shots with our quarterback.

Speaker 10 By having a good running game, that opens up lanes to be able to take a shot, to stop the run. Most time wide receivers are going to be in a one-on-one situation.

Speaker 10 So there is a place for that quarterback that wants to sling the ball.

Speaker 10 But to me, on whether a quarterback is a good quarterback or not, it's about you know decision, it's decision making each play and knowing when to pull the trigger, when not to.

Speaker 10 Sometimes I just live to see another day and you have to put the team a little bit before maybe some just individual stats.

Speaker 1 Just how big is Davis Mill's neck? Like in person?

Speaker 1 Is it crazy?

Speaker 10 Well, I know Davis is a big man in general.

Speaker 10 In an ideal world, you want a quarterback to kind of look over it, kind of scan the, you know, scan the field.

Speaker 10 That's a, you know, that has a Stanford degree. That's saying an awful lot too.

Speaker 10 Again, he's he's got a bright future ahead of him. We got to do some other things to help him, but excited about the direction we're heading.

Speaker 5 Do you have a beard bet that's lined up? Have you used that as a motivational tool to say like, hey, if we get to the playoffs, we're shaving it?

Speaker 10 No, I'm not much for those kind of things. I just think, you know, guys go out every day, grind, coming with your lunch pail.
And I'm not a superstitious guy at all either.

Speaker 10 So beard-wise, it just kind of makes sense. You know, after a while, guys that shave every day, you know, you kind of get tired of that.

Speaker 10 I went on vacation about

Speaker 10 a few years back and you grow it out.

Speaker 5 And I said, you know what?

Speaker 10 I think I'm going to keep it this time. And, you know, I've been married, but it'll be, what, 40, 42 years

Speaker 10 this coming November. My wife loved it, so it's easy to go that direct.

Speaker 1 It looks easy.

Speaker 10 So I'll follow suit to it.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it looks great. I hope you keep it.
But you mentioned your running game that you got this year. I'm a big fan of Damian Pierce.
I like what I've seen.

Speaker 5 I watched him in the preseason a couple of times. I don't know what it is about him, but I'm drawn to him and I watch him play.
I'm like, I think this kid could play.

Speaker 5 Are you planning on getting him a little bit more involved? I know that he started using him more week two than he did week one.

Speaker 5 Am I going to look like a genius for telling people that this kid passes my eyeball test?

Speaker 10 Well, yeah, I think you are. I think it's safe to go down that road.

Speaker 10 And the reason why you like him is that, I mean, it's not a whole lot to dislike.

Speaker 10 I mean, he can catch the ball, but you just talk about tough, hard-nosed football uh player that can he can make you miss an open field he can cut on a dime he can run with power in between the tackles he loves contact you just look at you're right from week one to week two improvement and that's what you see from young football players but in time i i think yes he got what from what i've seen i've seen a couple been around a couple good running backs

Speaker 10 and we saw it early in training camp and it seemed like he confirmed that that notion that we had each day we go on the feel with it.

Speaker 1 Have you checked in on the 10-year-old that you recruited at Illinois? Do you remember that story? He's 15 now, I think.

Speaker 10 Keep talking to him. You know, I'm getting a little old.
I forget a lot of things now.

Speaker 1 You offered a scholarship to a 10-year-old.

Speaker 10 Yeah, that's what came out a little bit. As far as really offering

Speaker 10 a scholarship, I per se did not.

Speaker 10 We kind of talk again to him a little bit.

Speaker 10 You talk to a lot of guys and sometimes it's casual conversation, and it all of a sudden becomes written in ink.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 10 I don't know much about where he is now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, people like to run with those stories. So, coach, this has been awesome.
I have one last question. It's the robot question.
Use promo code take for 20% off your first purchase.

Speaker 1 Q-zips, hoodies, polos, promo code take 20% off your first purchase. So, like I said, back in Chicago this weekend, I'm rooting against you.
I do like you, but I'm rooting against you.

Speaker 1 What is your, if you had like one memory, highlight, low light of your time in Chicago, what would it be?

Speaker 10 Oh, highlight is easy. The NSC Championship game.

Speaker 1 Against the Saints, yeah.

Speaker 10 Against the Saints, to be able to, you know, be the one seat,

Speaker 10 play the game there at Soldier Field. And right after the game, the snow started coming down

Speaker 10 to be able, you know.

Speaker 10 Ms.

Speaker 10 McCasky to be presented with the George Hallis trophy, family there in town, just a great memory for a lot of us that would be the highlight of course and there were a lot more if I you know games you know that the team played uh they showed up each week for me yeah for uh for us and as far as uh you know a negative time oh that would you know I can't think of much on the football field that I remember but I'll give you one probably probably how about

Speaker 10 the last day I was in the office how about that okay

Speaker 1 well everyone will think it's the NFC championship game against the Packers how about this one We'll, you know, keep it light, but 2004 Thanksgiving Day, Bears, Cowboys, maybe the worst football game ever played.

Speaker 10 That's,

Speaker 10 well, there's a few things. R.W.
McWhorter's probably wouldn't say that. He ran an interception back for a touchdown, right?

Speaker 1 Yes, yes.

Speaker 10 That wasn't one of our best game, but you know how that goes. There's a couple that I could choose from down.
But glass being half full, I mean, I watched those out of the memory pretty quick.

Speaker 1 That's good. Do you got any other questions, PFT?

Speaker 5 Just, can you talk about how awesome the second half against the Arizona Cardinals game was?

Speaker 1 That's a highlight.

Speaker 5 I've never seen a crazier switch in a game at halftime than that. I don't think I ever will.

Speaker 10 If you asked me for my number two favorite game, it would be that. On just what can happen.
Yeah, you know, you're down and seemed like you're out of it.

Speaker 10 Seemed like in NFL this year, every game is like that. You know, teams come in and the, you know, big deficits.
But it seemed like everything was against us that night.

Speaker 10 And we had some special men in the locker room. But at the half, though, I really did.
I thought we would come back.

Speaker 10 If you just listen to, you know, Olin Crutz and the guys that were, they weren't talking like the game was over.

Speaker 10 They were talking like, can't wait to get out there in the second half and to take the ball away. You know, we took the ball away that year like no one has before and to win it that way.

Speaker 10 You know, it wasn't a a whole lot of offense that night, but Hess is scoring a touchdown and to be able to get two defensive touchdowns also.

Speaker 10 There's a lot of ways to win football games, that's for sure.

Speaker 1 I like it. Well, Coach, like I said, best of luck the rest of the season.
I can't wish you luck every day.

Speaker 1 But yeah, we're fans of you. So best of luck the rest of the way.

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Speaker 10 And now for something completely different.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on our good friend, recurring guest, Hall of Famer, Morton Anderson, one of the best voices.

Speaker 1 It's a fact,

Speaker 1 Great Dane, one of the best voices on this podcast.

Speaker 1 First of all, welcome. You almost got thank you.

Speaker 1 And second, I heard you had a meeting at the league offices. Are you getting piss tested again? What's going on? Yes,

Speaker 1 they forgot to get me back in 83. So they ran a, there was an audit.

Speaker 1 And they're like, oh, shit. There was a piss audit.
He's got a backlog of piss.

Speaker 5 Once in a while, you know, like, some people like to go back and listen to old albums that they have stored back in their back rooms. Roger Goodell has vials of piss.

Speaker 1 There's nothing like a good piss story to get it going here. Yeah.
Yeah, sweet. What are you doing in the league offices? Are you part of the competition?

Speaker 1 We had a meeting on behalf of somebody I'm a brand ambassador for in the betting space, and we're just trying to

Speaker 1 navigate through

Speaker 1 that with the NFL and see if there's a spot for us there. Oh, nice.
Better collective. I think I can say that.
Yeah, you can say it. We'll bleep it.
Yeah. I know.
You got your own.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, it's fine.

Speaker 1 Was Roger there? Did you see Roger? I texted him. He said he was in and out of meetings.
I said, well, you got to at least dig your head in, and that did not happen. Oh, no.

Speaker 5 I mean, that's disrespectful on Roger God. He's a Hall of Famer.

Speaker 1 I thought so, but, you know, there was no sign, no greeting sign.

Speaker 5 Does he text you back? Do you guys

Speaker 1 have a technology?

Speaker 1 Well, good enough that he texted me back, which was nice, I thought. That counts as something.

Speaker 5 Is he an emoji guy?

Speaker 1 Or has he

Speaker 5 sent just straight to the point?

Speaker 1 I'm not even an emoji. What's emoji?

Speaker 5 Yeah, it's like the smiley faces, all that stuff.

Speaker 1 All that stuff, yeah. Picture stuff.

Speaker 1 I actually was watching a highlight of one of your games when we did our show on Sunday. Was it reel to reel? No, listen, it was crazy.

Speaker 1 I want your perspective of it because we were talking about the Browns losing to the Jets in the famous Dwayne Rudd game. You were the kicker who won the game for the Chiefs.

Speaker 1 That was wild. Yeah, from your perspective.
The wildest game I've ever been a part of. Yeah, walk us through it.
Again, if you can listen someday, you can explain what happened.

Speaker 1 Yeah, hot game in Cleveland, high scoring.

Speaker 1 We're down by two points. It's like 38 to 36 or something crazy.

Speaker 1 We got a high-powered offense. We're in Cleveland.
It's like August, September. One of the first games, first game of the year.
Yeah. My first game as a Chief.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 Trent Green goes back and in the last desperation attempt to advance the ball and get us anything. You know,

Speaker 1 we need a field goal, but we're running out of time. So this was the last play of the game.

Speaker 1 Not. Not.

Speaker 5 One more to come. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And he gets kind of half-sacked. And as he's going down, he kind of shuttle passes it to Tate, offensive lineman, eligible.
Good enough. He starts scampering around the left sideline.

Speaker 1 Rudd, who got a hold of Trent's leg, thinks the games overthrows his helmet. And, of course, we all know that the game can't end on a defensive penalty.

Speaker 1 He gets a 15-yard on Sportsman-like, tacked onto Tate's beautiful run,

Speaker 1 which is a piece of work by itself. If you've watched that thing,

Speaker 1 and here I am with 0-0-0-0 on the clock.

Speaker 1 Kicking a 35-yard field goal from the left hash. Welcome to Kansas City, man.
It was wild. And so you come in the locker room after.
You're like, how the hell did we win that game? How did we win it?

Speaker 1 Untime play. I've never been part of, you know, played 382 games.
I have never been a part of a game where you win the game with no time on the clock.

Speaker 1 I wonder if we did. I'm sure you got some great researchers how many times that has happened.
I'm going to see untimed down.

Speaker 5 I remember there was a kick, I think it was Nick Novak made a kick against the Dallas Cowboys.

Speaker 1 He wore a glove. He wore like the glove.
He did, yeah.

Speaker 5 2006, 2007,

Speaker 5 Sean Taylor returned a blocked field goal, and then there was a face mask on the return that tacked on 15 extra seconds to his return.

Speaker 5 Nick Novak stepped up and kicked like a 49-yarder to win the game. I remember that one.
But yeah, this is the only other one that I can remember.

Speaker 5 Were you ready to come on the field for that? Did you know that that was a possibility? Or did you think to yourself,

Speaker 5 when the play's over, the game's over?

Speaker 1 Well, I was watching Trent, and then I said, okay.

Speaker 1 And then when I saw the helmet throw, I go,

Speaker 1 we're getting another play and i remember standing next to dick vamil coach vamil

Speaker 1 and he's like screaming field goal field goal i go yeah we'll gotta wait for the the whole thing to shake out and then we got field goal of course we do yeah and you know you know you're not gonna take a knee right yeah did he cry after that one

Speaker 1 You know, there was some emotion on all levels. I think, you know, he's very good at that.
He's a big crier. Yeah, he does.

Speaker 1 I was real proud of him at the Hall of Fame. He did a nice job in the speech.
Did not cry. Oh,

Speaker 1 that's very impressive. He was impressive, man.

Speaker 5 Waterworks. He's got.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 5 I like a guy that can cry about his guys, you know?

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 1 I'm crying a little bit inside right now because, you know, recurring guest t-shirts is a thing here. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's still not there yet. It's on its way.
Oh, it's a joke. Yeah.
Well, I think we saw it. My son is like, oh, you got to ask him about the recurring t-shirt, the recurring guest t-shirt.

Speaker 1 We have like two that we ever made, and I think Spencer Hawes has one, and Rachel Nichols. Maybe Blake.
All right, never mind.

Speaker 1 We'll get you one. No, this is what we say.
We say we get you one, and then you walk out the door and we're like, we got another one. We got another one.
He thinks he's having a shirt.

Speaker 1 So it's an urban legend. It's a complete urban legend.
Yep.

Speaker 1 One day. Shame on my son.
I mean, he was the one that said, oh,

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 5 if you can get your hands on one, it's probably worth

Speaker 1 a decent amount of money because there have only been two ever made before.

Speaker 5 So you have to steal it. If you see Rachel Nichols in public and she's wearing it, steal it from her.

Speaker 1 So take a look at this. Oh, shit.
What happened? I got ejected from a golf cart. Whoa.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 you got to show that again for the camera. Yeah, look at this road rash.
So I was thinking about some non-fungible

Speaker 5 doing NFT of your scab.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, that's a great scab to pick, isn't it? There's nothing but it.
That's pretty narty right here. I mean, this is my, it's itching now, and I got this scar cream.
I'm going to start.

Speaker 1 This is gross. I had one of those.
I had basically the exact same one. It was a plant leg, too.
Yeah. I had that exact same one playing playing softball.

Speaker 1 I went for a foul ball and slipped on the concrete

Speaker 1 in foul territory. Oh, this bad.
And I had it for like a year, and it was the best scab to pick.

Speaker 1 I did road to grash, and then I laid there, and

Speaker 1 I was like, I didn't hit my head. What a miracle.
Yes, sir.

Speaker 5 How'd you get ejected from a golf cart?

Speaker 1 Raining, you know, bad visibility. an overcorrection left and an ejection to the right.

Speaker 1 You were driving. You were driving.
No, no, I was a passenger. So you can blame the guy.
Yeah, he's going to remain nameless because I love him. Okay.
But

Speaker 1 what is his name?

Speaker 1 Family member.

Speaker 1 It doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 No, he's a good friend and neighbor. And man, we're both responsible for that one.

Speaker 1 There's got to be some libations involved. Yeah, I would imagine so.

Speaker 1 You mentioned Dick Vermeal in the Hall of Fame. Do you go to Canton every year? I do.
So,

Speaker 1 is there ever a moment that you guys all have Hall of Famers to yourself where there's not fans around? Friday. And you guys, what are those conversations? Merlow's the luncheon.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's really good. It's just everything.
Anything goes in there. That's awesome.
And, of course, we can't talk about it. Right.
But who's the best storyteller? Who's the best storyteller in that room?

Speaker 1 There's a bunch of guys that are really good.

Speaker 1 Joe de Lambelore is a really good storyteller. I told the story of my nickname, the Matador, because they kind of celebrate, like, if you made it for five years and 10 years and 15 and 20 and 25,

Speaker 1 you get to speak. But in all the other years, you don't get to speak.
So the newbies, they don't get to speak. Right.
They just listen. And they're not even, that's Friday lunch.

Speaker 1 They don't have the gold jacket. They're sitting in their polos surrounded by 140 gold jackets, which is kind of wild.
That's incredible. Then there's a moderator.

Speaker 1 That's Willie Lanier from the Chiefs. And then, Because it was my fifth year of being in, I got in in 17.

Speaker 1 We're in 22, 5.

Speaker 1 I got to say a few words, and I talked about my story being the matador.

Speaker 1 And everybody goes, what?

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 it's pretty simple.

Speaker 1 It was with the Falcons. We were playing Dallas.
A kickoff comes to me

Speaker 1 in an act of self-preservation. I do the Ole.

Speaker 1 You know, the Matador becomes my nickname. Dan Reeves is pissed at me Monday at the meeting.
He flips the light on.

Speaker 1 And I said the only thing I should not have said to him, you don't pay me to do that. Oh,

Speaker 1 so I had to go to his office.

Speaker 1 He goes, wink, wink, nod, nod. I have to treat you the same way.
And from now on, you're the matador. And that's the story I told at the luncheon.
And

Speaker 1 everybody laughed.

Speaker 1 That was it. I think that's a fair thing.
That was my contribution to the Merlin Olson luncheon. Yeah, so who holds court there?

Speaker 5 Who's the guy that's not?

Speaker 1 So Willie Linear is the one kind of spraying the wisdom. And then you got some older guys,

Speaker 1 usually Michael Irvin, Chris Carter, they'll get up and say because they're used to speaking in front of cameras and mics and so forth.

Speaker 1 That's incredible. But it's a nice, it's a heavy room, guys.
It's like

Speaker 1 this year,

Speaker 1 you know, you're sitting next to Troy Aikman, and then, oh, there's

Speaker 1 Dan Fouts, and there's, you know, oh. Oh, there's the big, the original gangster, you know, the running back from Cleveland.
Hello.

Speaker 1 Jim Brown. Jim Brown.
Yeah. You know, I can't even, Sir, Sir Brown, Mr.
Brown.

Speaker 1 So it's a heavy room. It's guys that I, you know, that play before me, some, some that you guys, you guys all know their names.
I mean, yeah. It's a pretty, it's a pretty heavy room.
It's good.

Speaker 5 You think Justin Tucker's going to be there one day?

Speaker 1 I do. If he continues on this path, he'll be the greatest ever.
I hate to say that because I was pretty good, but you were all right. You got to, you know.

Speaker 1 Are you shocked by the distance that's now going down in the NFL?

Speaker 1 We're going to see. I think I might have said this on this show one time.
We're going to see a 70-yard field goal. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I feel like I said that two or three years ago.

Speaker 5 I think most kickers can make a 70-yard field goal if they're on an NFL roster.

Speaker 1 There's a handful easily that can. My longest was 76 at Michigan State with Wynn behind me.

Speaker 1 But live in the game, like the 66 he made in Detroit last year hits the crossbar doinks over. But I've seen a couple of guys miss kicks that were shorter or hit, hit, let's say, a 58-yarder.

Speaker 1 The guy from Carolina last week that hit the

Speaker 1 58-yarder bombed it. Like, it was deep in the net, I'm thinking.
And, you know, how they have the Chegna, the track man

Speaker 1 who says, hey, good from, yeah, said good from 68. We're going to see good from 72, good from, you know.
I want to see it.

Speaker 1 I want to see it too. It's like a walk-off would be badass, right? Yep.
And just

Speaker 1 vibe about the kicker has changed, you know, PFT.

Speaker 1 You know, you need to take advantage of that, too.

Speaker 5 I know kickers are having a moment right now.

Speaker 5 Except week one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's tragic of magic. Yeah, it was a problem.

Speaker 1 Well, that was my theory: is that the kickers, like whenever we have a crazy week in the NFL, a crazy Sunday, if you're like, wow, what a wild Sunday, you usually can figure it out by how many kicks were missed.

Speaker 1 Because if there's missed kicks, made kicks, latent games, wild turns yeah that adds to the chaos so week one nfl sunday was incredible sunday so many games coming down to the wire and i looked it up it was 10 missed kicks or extra points in the fourth quarter or later it's like there it is the kickers basically decide how fun the nfl is

Speaker 1 by sucking

Speaker 1 we're the fun factor yeah right we're not yeah we're

Speaker 1 And you know what? I mean, the 50-yarder was a big deal back in the 80s when I was playing 80s and 90s. And

Speaker 1 that was a big deal when you made a 50 yard field goal. That was like, wow, the magic line.
And then now the 60 yarder is like the new 50. Yeah.
And the 70 yard is going to be like the new 60.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, but they're still missing extra points.

Speaker 1 I can't wrap my head around it. So what is it? That's 33 yards.
Because kickers are

Speaker 5 so weird. I feel like you were a little bit different.

Speaker 5 You had

Speaker 5 a different mentality, right? Like your team respected you as being not just a kicker. You were part of the team.

Speaker 5 But a lot of kickers, their head cases. They get real weird with it.
And so they miss one kick, and all of a sudden it's just their brain just crumbles into dust. What is that?

Speaker 5 How can we help kickers? If we're putting them, if we're putting the entire profession of kickers.

Speaker 1 They're letting one kick define their ability as a kicker instead of understanding that it's a marathon and that you look at your body of work over 25 years and I'm at 80%.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 if you're a general manager of a football team or a head coach, you say, if I can get 80% completion rate over 25 years, I think that's consistency. That's a guy that I can hang my hat on.

Speaker 1 And I know 80%, you know, it's not, like, I think Justin Tucker is kicking around 90%, like for his career, 92%. Yeah.
Yeah, it's something crazy. It's an insane number.

Speaker 1 But back when Jan Stenerude was kicking, he was 72% for his career. So everything gets better.
You have the advent, you have the...

Speaker 1 prolific long snappers now, and that's all they do is snap the ball. We didn't have that.

Speaker 1 I had a greasy offensive lineman with gloves on who just got done with a 12 uh play drive and now he's got to put a different hat on and snap the ball yeah

Speaker 5 it's a different deal it's a big deal and you don't have them in practice right these guys are attached to at the hip in practice come here little snapper you know over here now and you got them well i don't think we talked about that enough how the kicking game obviously has improved so much but the specialist of having the long snapper these guys when they snap it they've got it down to to such a science that when it hits the holder's hand, laces are 12 o'clock.

Speaker 5 The laces are already set up. They know how much spin to put on the ball, and they can do it properly every single time.

Speaker 1 Never spins a bad word. Spins a bad word, because spinning indicates a quick centrifugal motion.
We don't want that, man. Okay.
You don't want to hit.

Speaker 1 You ever hit a ball that's moving, like spinning on its axis, it's going to spin right off your foot. You turn it.
So turn. You want to tell your holder, hey, man, if you've got to turn it, turn it.

Speaker 1 But hopefully, you know, that long snapper knows exactly how many rotations to get the laces at 12. Yep.

Speaker 1 But if they're at 9 or 3 and I'm coming snap to kick 1.2 seconds, 115, which I was, just leave them. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Don't mess with them. A moving ball is the worst thing to hit as a kicker.
Just leave it. Even if the laces are pointed at me, I can still compress the football through that.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I got into an argument online, I think it was in the playoffs last year, about how the laces being pointed in.

Speaker 5 If, you know, everyone says, point the laces out, and ideally, you'd like the laces to be pointed out. Of course.
But they're pointed in. A good kicker should be able to still make that field goal.

Speaker 5 It's if they're on the side or if the ball is leaning to a side that you don't like it leaning to.

Speaker 1 You don't want to lean it, like, if it lean it, if it leans, like... If I'm left-footed, you like it leaning left just a little bit, but never like towards you.

Speaker 1 And you're kicking because now you're going to hit the side panel. Yeah.
You're going to get a shit kick

Speaker 1 to the right or for a right-footed to the left. So anyway, you want to have that nice vertical ball flight, wind-piercing ball flight, you know, nice rotation vertically,

Speaker 1 right down the middle.

Speaker 1 And we aim for the middle, why PFT?

Speaker 5 Because the middle never changes.

Speaker 1 Exactly.

Speaker 5 And one of the things that you taught me when we were getting ready for the XFL trials a couple years ago,

Speaker 5 like your mentality was just your body is like a homing pigeon to the middle of the uprights. Right.

Speaker 5 Like whenever you step on the field, you like to be always walking towards the center of the uprights because you're just like channeling your entire energy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the parameter.

Speaker 1 The parameter is never going to change. It's going to be, you know, your 18 feet into six inches.
So we don't care about that.

Speaker 1 We just care about a point through which and to which we're going to kick. Yep.
When you would miss a kick,

Speaker 1 what does the sideline say? Does anyone ever say anything to you, or is it just like, because that's, I love that interchange where it's like, yeah, kicker misses a kick, goes to the sideline.

Speaker 1 Maybe you see the punter being like, hey, nice try. But we're going to...
Yeah, little pat on the ass. Yeah, you know, next time.

Speaker 1 Would anyone, like a quarterback, come up to you or something, or anyone say anything to you?

Speaker 1 No, not really, but I did have one instance in Jacksonville in 96, and this was what put Jacksonville in the playoffs with Brunel and those guys.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 we were down by two points. I had a 30-yarder in the rain, in the mud.

Speaker 1 As I planted, my plant foot kind of moved up ahead of the ball, and I kind of slipped, and I shanked it left. We lost the game.
We were like 3-13. We weren't going anywhere anyway.

Speaker 1 And I'm laying there on

Speaker 1 my back, and Robbie Chobek was one of the offensive linemen. He straddles me, and I'm thinking, what a nice teammate.
He's going to help me out. And he goes, you lost a fucking game.

Speaker 1 So that situation was distasteful. And then he stepped over me and left me there.
Oh, my God. And it was the last game of the season, so I had to wait the whole offseason to make one.

Speaker 1 You know, that was really bad. Oh, that's brutal to have the season end on a miss.
Oh, it was bad. That's really sad.
And it got Jacksonville. But here's the rest of the story.

Speaker 1 So it gets Jacksonville in the playoffs for the first time in franchise history.

Speaker 1 I get a call in March if I would come to Jacksonville and present Mark Brunel with the Sportsman of the Year award as a surprise guest. It's a big black tie shindig deal.

Speaker 1 I said, absolutely. They said, we'll set you up at Sawgrass, at Marriott.
You know, we'll give you a little scratch to come down.

Speaker 1 I said, I'm turning this shitty experience into something, you know, profitable. This is America.
I love it.

Speaker 1 So I go to Jacksonville. I'm the surprise.
I'm the last presenter. Nobody knows I'm there.
I walk out and I

Speaker 1 fake slip, you know, just like,

Speaker 1 and I get a standing ovation from like 2,000 people in black ties. It was freaking awesome.
Mark Burnell's laughing.

Speaker 1 And then I went and played golf at Sawgrass for like three rounds and hung out at the Marriott. It was awesome.
That's incredible.

Speaker 1 Right, but so you you know you you turn a shitty thing into something fun and profitable. What's wrong with that? Nothing.

Speaker 5 Absolutely nothing. So you kicked forever in New Orleans.
You're a New Orleans legend.

Speaker 5 You were once ranked, what was it like the top three bachelor in New Orleans, which is number one, but who's you know?

Speaker 5 I also read a story that people would call, like girls were calling the Saints, just like leaving messages, being like, hey, if Morton's around, can you give me a call?

Speaker 1 Were you actually getting messages from the New orleans saints well this was back when there was answering machines and landlines there was no there were there was no world wide web there was no mobile phones

Speaker 1 so it was like meet me at the bell tower at noon you know yeah it was very like the okay chorale thing it was like the old west you know the wild wild west did you ever do that uh

Speaker 1 what like

Speaker 5 somewhere random like the saints were like hey uh this girl just called she said meet me down by the trolley you know what to do

Speaker 1 on the neutral ground ground.

Speaker 5 Yeah, and you're like, yeah, you know what?

Speaker 1 Today feels like a good day to try that out.

Speaker 5 Let's make a bad decision.

Speaker 1 I made bad decisions back in the early 80s. I certainly did.

Speaker 1 But for some reason, my outfits always got me through. I had parachute pants, I had the boots, had the headband, had a little eyeliner going.

Speaker 1 If you Google that, take it to the top video. You'll see eyeliner,

Speaker 1 flogger seagulls, wham kind of thing. It was cool.

Speaker 1 And it's got traction now so many years, 40 years later, which I kind of like. People are bringing it back up going, oh man, look at this.

Speaker 1 This is cool.

Speaker 1 He had the maths to do it back then when it was really cool to do it with the mullets and all that.

Speaker 1 So there was a lot of fun. I mean, I was single back then.
You're a ball player in New Orleans. It's the only gig in town.
Suffice it to say, it was a lot of fun.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I bet. So now are you still, are you close with the team?

Speaker 1 Yes, very.

Speaker 5 So I have a theory that Sean Payton is still kind of like ghost coaching this team, that he wasn't ready to leave just yet.

Speaker 1 I don't know if he coached Sunday, man.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I don't know if he was involved with that. He was on TV.
He was wearing a visor and a suit. It looked really strange.
I don't know if you saw that. Are you kidding me? It was a strange look.

Speaker 1 It was very strange. But I feel like Sean Payton with that look.

Speaker 5 He's got to still be involved to a certain extent with the team, right?

Speaker 1 I don't think so. No? Honestly, I think he's a broadcaster for this year and then next year we'll see him coaching again.

Speaker 5 You think Cowboys?

Speaker 1 You know, we know his history there. Who knows? But, you know, if he goes, the Saints get

Speaker 1 a couple of picks. Nice picks.
Yeah, there's like true compensatory stuff. Yeah, they get a first-round pick, I think.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What was, I don't know if we, I don't think I asked you this the first time.

Speaker 1 What's the one kick you think about all the time? Like, that was awesome.

Speaker 1 Your favorite kick?

Speaker 1 There's a couple. There's one in Atlanta.
One of my first game winners, Kenny Stable. The Snake was the quarterback, and he kind of, we needed a field goal to win the game.

Speaker 1 I was so nervous, I remember. We were in Fulton County Stadium.
It was like getting dark.

Speaker 1 It was like a late game. And the snake goes down and gets me into like a 35-yarder.

Speaker 1 Calls, time out. He's standing by the, you know, and he had that time out.
You know, you could just see him. And I'm coming on the field, and he grabs me.
I'll never forget it. I was nervous.

Speaker 1 My eyes are like flickering, you know. I'm like, uh,

Speaker 1 I gotta, now I can't screw this up. Snake just disarmed it.
Let's go home, Morton.

Speaker 1 Bad action. He knows I'm gonna make it.
Yeah. Yeah, very cool.
The snake just told me, well, go, let's go home. Well, you're going home no matter what.

Speaker 1 True, but I took it as

Speaker 1 you know. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So that one was cool.

Speaker 1 The Kansas City one was a lot of fun. Dwayne Rudd game, yeah.
The NFC Championship game was fun. 38 and overtime.
That was fun because you're going to the Super Bowl. You're going to the big dance.

Speaker 1 you know.

Speaker 1 There was one in Philly that was really fun because they were throwing ice cubes at me as I was lining up for a 50-yard field-going vet, the old vet,

Speaker 1 to put the game into overtime. And then in overtime, I had a 52-yarder to win the game, which we did in the snow and the ice and

Speaker 1 bombarded with ice. ice cubes and chunks.
I mean, it was coming down heavy from the end zone. It was wild.
Yeah, that's Philly.

Speaker 5 How do you manage kicking in in the snow? That always seems like it's the toughest thing.

Speaker 1 It's all about the footing. I have this plant shoe that's really gnarly looking.

Speaker 1 It's got all it's got these long kind of rubber suction cups on the bottom of it, and it just grips right through any wet condition. Yeah.
It's ugly, real, real ugly shoe. It's not, you know,

Speaker 1 you know, it's not a brand, I don't think.

Speaker 5 You made it yourself?

Speaker 1 I kind of just had a Sharpie and I just kind of did a logo. just

Speaker 1 an arbitrary logo has nothing to do with any logo that exists from a profitable company it was kind of like my own

Speaker 5 it was before they were branding shoes now everybody does their own shoes right they do their own shoes their own causes i was do i was doing my own brand back then you know it was like i feel like kickers are like that too they have their weird little things that they it's you know they they get into the mindset that makes them comfortable and then they get superstitious and they repeat those things did you have any really weird superstitions?

Speaker 1 I had a routine, very, very, and it bordered on psychotic, I would say, yeah. So, two white socks on my left,

Speaker 1 on my kicking leg, one on my right,

Speaker 1 and there was a sequence to how to put the uniform on.

Speaker 1 There was a sequence to the pregame warm-up. I would get to the stadium three hours before.
I would,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 the whole thing was I would walk the hash marks. Yep.
Why would I walk walk the hash marks? I would mentally rehearse if there were any bad spots. And then I had a notebook.

Speaker 1 So I wrote everything down. I showed you that when you came down.
I wrote everything down.

Speaker 1 So 26-yard line, right, hash, vet stadium, a pitching mound. You know, because we played on paper.
Back in the 80s, we played on baseball fields. Right.
So it wasn't like now where

Speaker 1 it was multi-purpose stadiums we were playing in. So

Speaker 1 imagine going from

Speaker 1 dirt to grass or from grass to dirt and try to get footing and trying to figure out you're not going to be able to change cleats depending on because

Speaker 1 now we got a first down. Oh, shit, now we're on grass.
But we were on dirt. Right.
So I got to have another shoe.

Speaker 5 It was like in Oakland. It wasn't even that long ago.

Speaker 1 Oakland had it. San Diego had it.
Candlestick had it. Miami had it.
Miami had it. All of them had it.

Speaker 5 So would you tell your team, like, hey, if you need to set me up for a field goal, can you try to get past the pitcher's mound? Or can you

Speaker 1 hit on the right?

Speaker 1 Give me straight dirt or straight grass. Don't give me dirt to grass or grass to dirt.
Meaning, I don't want to start on dirt and end on grass and vice versa. But if I'm on dirt, I'm on dirt.

Speaker 1 I go dirt to dirt all day. Right.

Speaker 5 I like that. Grass to grass.

Speaker 1 Dirt to dirt all day. Put the knees in a shirt.
Dirt to dirt all day.

Speaker 1 Would you rather go?

Speaker 1 Grass to grass? Fine.

Speaker 5 You rather go dirt to grass or grass to dirt?

Speaker 1 I don't want to do either, but if I had a a choice I would rather go

Speaker 1 grass to dirt because grass is a little higher so I'm coming down and I'm also that first push-off yeah I'm on grass I don't I'm not gonna skid I'm not gonna like sachet like oh oh you know you know how when you push off and the cleat doesn't catch yeah mm-hmm that's a shitty that's a real shitty feeling of lack of leverage yeah what do you think about

Speaker 5 grass to dirt would be better grass to dirt yeah i can see that also kicking off dirt just is it it's a different sport it feels like but if you're if you can kick something i feel like you should get more points off dirt it's like a bunker shot correct like in golf yeah i feel like you should get four points outside of 40 on dirt

Speaker 5 and like if you missed it then you maybe get another trot no that's not realistic i do like the idea of having a four-point field goal what about um a 60 yard it should be four points agreed what do you think about justin reed Is he maybe the best athlete in NFL history?

Speaker 5 He's the safety on the Chiefs that's like kicking touchbacks.

Speaker 1 He was ripping the ball. He kind of made us look bad.
He kicked us fucking.

Speaker 1 I kind of was like pissed at him because I was like, he's too good to play another position and he's making it look too easy. And here we are making a living out of this.

Speaker 1 And here we are like spending all this time doing it and he just goes out and wings it and bangs the ball. That kind of pissed me off.

Speaker 5 It made everybody be like kickers aren't that good because this guy

Speaker 1 just

Speaker 5 kicked a 65-yarder in practice. I don't want to hear that.
He shouldn't be allowed to do that.

Speaker 1 That's bad. We've got to cover that up.

Speaker 1 The kicker community has to.

Speaker 5 He wasn't part of the union it's been a big community of silence for years that like yes anybody can kick a 65 yard field goal it's not that hard to do and then he went ahead and did it for the cameras i think you told me that before you came down and and tried to hit a 40 yeah well i hit a 45 yes you did i hit a 45 now some people are saying it's the thin air in colorado but i was in a dome and the altitude doesn't travel indoors no

Speaker 1 so

Speaker 1 so no it doesn't ever it was thick air yeah it was good no but so that's a little concerning to me that you have a guy that's like a safety and just goes out and bangs the ball.

Speaker 1 It would be like me playing great safety ball. It's not going to happen.
Right, right, right. The matador at safety position is not going to.
No, that does not work.

Speaker 1 Are you looking forward to Adam Vitatari being up for the Hall of Fame? Because you like, hey, he makes it. Here's another kicker.
Yeah, let's do it. Like we can hang out together.

Speaker 1 So soon we'll have our own room. Yeah.
Right? Because

Speaker 1 that's three guys. Three is.

Speaker 1 And we can add Ray Guy as a punter. And then we got, of course, Blanda and Gogolak.
I mean, not Gogolak, Groza.

Speaker 1 And they were in multi-positions, but still they kicked. Yeah.
So I guess Tucker will eventually be there. Tucker will be there.
And there's a couple other guys I think should be there.

Speaker 1 But, you know, there's just. Vinatari would be big.
I think Adam is there for sure. Yeah.
He's

Speaker 1 score in the game.

Speaker 1 He made big Super Bowl kicks in shit weather. I mean, yeah, he's absolutely.
He played forever, 23 years. Yeah.
24 maybe even. Yeah.
So yeah, I feel like he should be there. And

Speaker 5 Janikowski.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's a tweener for me. Yeah.

Speaker 5 I just like to see him at the banquet.

Speaker 1 I also like...

Speaker 1 The bar is going to run dry. Yeah, yeah.
Janakowski's one of those guys that, like, if he just trotted out for the Raiders on Sunday, I'd be like, oh, yeah, yeah, he's still there. Like, I wouldn't.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Like, he was around. He's still playing.
Yeah. Right, right.
I'd be like, oh, yeah. Yeah, of course, Janikowski's about to kick.
Right. Yeah.
No, I hear you on that.

Speaker 1 He's like the Tom Brady of the Sneakers.

Speaker 1 But I had that, too, for 25 years. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Played for all three commissioners. That was kind of weird.
I played for Roselle, Tagipoo, and Goodell.

Speaker 5 Yeah. Was there any difference with how the ball flew depending on the signature on the ball?

Speaker 1 No, that's a good question, though.

Speaker 1 They were all pretty much embedded in that leather, so it didn't make a big difference. Would you ever accidentally kick a non-kicking ball in a game?

Speaker 1 Many times, because the K-ball didn't come into play until

Speaker 1 later. So we had these gnarly right out of the box from Wilson in Chicago with the wax on them.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 we had a whole routine where we try to get them a little better, you know, try to get the wax off of them, try to make them a little fatter. Now they're just like balloons.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's why the ball's just flying.

Speaker 5 They're juiced. So in this era.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you can say the ball's juiced because I don't know. You know, I asked the question, put helium in the ball, will it go further? And didn't know.

Speaker 5 I imagine it would, right?

Speaker 1 Well, I guess wind resistance also no acts on the ball no it didn't do anything huh interesting did you maybe have a scientist on to try to prove that one it'd be found a cool little um

Speaker 1 remember the shows they used to do yeah mythbusters yeah or the sports version yeah sports science yeah sports science where they actually went in and and proved a disproved a theory yep i kind of like that idea yeah with the ball and the helium i think they did that actually on one yeah i feel yeah because i feel like so it's it's lighter so you'd be able to strike it and and hit it with more force i guess it would start to travel farther but then the wind resistance would act on it and it'd be lighter so

Speaker 5 it would knock it down a little bit

Speaker 1 all i know is when you if you strike the ball purely it it's gonna go where you want it to go yeah and uh with with power and accuracy you know that's a cool thing what about the on-side kick issue that we're having these days why isn't there why can't we just get an on-side kick specialist why can't somebody just practice 20 24-year-olds?

Speaker 1 I mean, I invented that high, I called it the Anderson, that high bounce where you slam it into the ground. Yep.
And then Orlindo Mari kind of took it over and

Speaker 1 said it was his.

Speaker 5 Everyone knows it's called the Anderson.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I mean, come on.
I know it is the Anderson.

Speaker 5 It's the Anderson bust.

Speaker 1 It's the Anderson. It's a myth buster right there.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's the Anderson. And what was great about that thing was you could predict it.

Speaker 1 You could predict where it came down 12 yards right on the hash marks or outside, depending on where we overloaded and then of course and we we had great success we did in preseason we did it on every kickoff in a preseason game we got like 70 of them back wow so that was we just wanted to see the numbers yeah

Speaker 1 and uh

Speaker 1 proved to us and we could do it both ways we could do it to the right to the left we could do it as a deliberate or a surprise Which was cool because you would take a normal approach to a kickoff and at the last minute I'd go

Speaker 1 and boom and then guys are sitting ducks there. Now we just got a guy that goes in and plays rebounding.
Yeah. And the first line just crushes them.
But now rules have changed all that.

Speaker 1 You can't overload, can't take a running start. So you took a play that was league-wide 26, 28% success.
And now it's like 11%.

Speaker 5 Yeah, we were saying.

Speaker 1 6% to 8% success. So

Speaker 1 you basically have done this to the kickoff. You've killed it.
It's a non-play.

Speaker 1 It's a boring play now.

Speaker 1 Guys are kicking it out of the end zone because they're kicking it from the 35-yard line with balloon balls.

Speaker 1 So you don't have returns, which was, I understand the injury aspect to it, violent collisions, but there's no returns.

Speaker 1 Those were exciting. I mean, Asteon Sanders.

Speaker 5 What if everybody did the Anderson now? What if you taught the Anderson to NFL kickers?

Speaker 1 Well, they're doing it. They are doing it.

Speaker 1 Some guys are doing it, but the problem is now when you can't overload and you can't take a running start, the Anderson is not as effective as when you could do

Speaker 1 the overload and the running start.

Speaker 1 Because you would have your tall guys right behind the bulldozers. You'd bring the bulldozers in and level.

Speaker 5 It used to be such a great play.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It would be chaos.
Yeah. And it is like we were talking about that Jets comeback, the fact they return the on-site kick, that doesn't happen anymore.
So it's like you don't get those moments.

Speaker 1 We're non-placed now.

Speaker 1 It makes the game less fun, I think. Yeah, because it would be

Speaker 1 the down 14 with a minute and a half left.

Speaker 1 It's really no chance it's going to happen because you've got to get that on-site kick. You kind of know it's going to be a little dribble for me, and maybe you get a bounce,

Speaker 1 and maybe one dude hits off his leg, and maybe it happens, but most of the time, guys are just going to corral the ball, fall on it, and it's that ball. Yeah, it's game over.

Speaker 5 Yep, yep.

Speaker 5 What about from a practice aspect when you were kicking, if you were to just put the ball middle of the field, 40-yard line, or call it 30-yard line, so 40-yard kick, how many, if you had to kick 50 balls, how many you make?

Speaker 1 I make

Speaker 1 40 yards in the end, you make 100%. You have to in the NFL.
You cannot miss inside 40 yards ever.

Speaker 5 So, in practice, you make it.

Speaker 1 Wow, did I? Yes, I did.

Speaker 5 But in practice, you'd expect to go 50 for 50?

Speaker 1 I would never go beyond 40 yards until I made 10 in a row inside 40 yards. So,

Speaker 1 I could put one 28, 32, 35, 37, 39, 36, middle, right, and spray them and make them all. Then I would go out and have some fun on the long balls, but never until I earned the right.

Speaker 1 I kind of mentally told myself, I got to earn the right to go long

Speaker 1 by crushing the short. Yeah.
Because those are your money kicks. Really, 30 to 45 yards are your money kicks in the NFL.
They have to be like

Speaker 1 99%. That's where the majority of the kicks are going to come.
That's where you need your point production. You've got to have them.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 Got to have them.

Speaker 1 That's where the long balls are sexy, exotic. Oh, look at me.
I got a big leg, you know, that kind of thing.

Speaker 1 It's fun. It's like a home run, right? At the end of the game, a walk-off home run.

Speaker 5 Sometimes small ball works, though. Just get on base.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Singles and doubles all day.
It plays, yeah. Yeah.

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Speaker 1 So we talked a little bit about betting at the beginning. Do you

Speaker 1 handicap games based on kickers at all? Like, are kickers involved in?

Speaker 1 They are. I don't bet a lot.
Yeah, yeah. But if you were, like, how.

Speaker 1 If a guy, you just look at his points per game, right? You look at what's his average. You know, I don't know.
I don't even play fantasy football. Although my kids do, it's a lot of fun.

Speaker 1 It's engaging. But I would say, like, if you have a good kicker,

Speaker 1 he's going to win you at least three games.

Speaker 1 For sure. Right.
Maybe more.

Speaker 1 I mean, I averaged, I would say probably walk-offs, you know, impactful kicks, and they're all important because they're points, but like last five minutes of the game, I probably had three to four a year over 25 years, right?

Speaker 1 That's a lot. That's like 100 and some game winners in my book.

Speaker 1 So I don't know how you would handicap because it's not really my, you know, like my thing. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But,

Speaker 1 I mean, the quarterback's obviously going to be the guy because he handles the ball the most. The receivers, the studs that catch the ball, right, and can make plays happen that way.

Speaker 1 pass rushers that can affect the quarterback play by sacking them and people that snag the ball in cornerbacks and things like that yeah yeah what about uh running backs not so much anymore you know no no dying breed yeah

Speaker 1 tight end

Speaker 1 tight ends have come like wide receivers now correct they're more kelse hybrids they're hybrids yeah they're receivers with big bigger bodies yeah yeah yeah um was there any team that you played against that was really good at uh affecting your field goal kicking?

Speaker 5 Like from a defensive, maybe

Speaker 5 not even blocking a lot of it, but maybe coming close enough or hitting you after the fact.

Speaker 1 Did you ever get really Steve Tasker in Buffalo? He was really good. Steve was good.

Speaker 1 He really screwed us in the Pro Bowl. I don't know if I told you this story, but we were.

Speaker 1 So if you win the Pro Bowl, you can make more money than if you lose the Pro Bowl. And I had a game winner, a 47-yarder.

Speaker 1 Now, the rules in the Pro Bowl is you can't rush on field goals and punts because it's basically soft pads. Nobody wants to get hurt.
Right. It's the last game of the season.

Speaker 1 You're going into the offseason. Come on.
Don't full-out rush. So Steve Tasker is like, screw that.
You know, I'm going to block this kick.

Speaker 1 So everybody's just like, eh, you know.

Speaker 1 And he just comes flying through. You're not supposed to.
Uh-huh. And takes it off my foot.

Speaker 5 But there's no rule for that.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 5 it's an unwritten rule.

Speaker 1 And then I get blamed. Lawrence Taylor was pissed at me.
He goes, you just cost us quarter million dollars, man. I go, dude, you took it off my foot.
Yeah. No one blocked.

Speaker 1 Everybody just kind of eh. And then the Red Sea opened up, and Steve Tasker, that, that, that, that, that, eh, eh.
That's tough. That's incredible.

Speaker 5 And then you have to watch Lawrence Taylor about it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That can't be fun.
That's not fun. LT came at me hard.
I was like, oh, yeah. Oh, sorry, dog.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I just Googled it since.

Speaker 5 I'll buy you my tie list.

Speaker 1 Steve Tasker never blocked a field goal before that moment moment because, you know, it's hard to block field goals.

Speaker 1 He did. He blocked a lot, actually.
He was really good. Here's a guy I think ought to be in the Pro Football Hall of Fame as a specialist.
Him and Devin Hester. Yes, Devin Hester, absolutely.

Speaker 1 You know, and I know I'm going to get pushed back sometimes when I say that, but Steve Tasker was a guy. You can't write the history of the NFL without mentioning Steve Tasker and Devin Hester.

Speaker 1 And Devin Hester, yeah. I mean, he was a game.
He had effective games, field position. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And he blocked, he scooped and scored a ton of punts and field goals. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And he was great in coverage. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 I mean, Devin Hester, there were six years where it was just do not kick the ball to this man.

Speaker 1 And even when teams tried to kick away from him, he still would return them. Right.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, this has been fun. We've always catch up with you.
Yes,

Speaker 1 yeah. Morton Anderson, Hall of Famer, The Great Dane.
The Matador. The Matador.
I like that. We'll call it the Great Dane.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the Great Dane's better than the Matador.

Speaker 5 Inventor of the Anderson.

Speaker 1 Yeah, inventor of the Anderson.

Speaker 1 That sounds good. Not narcissistic.
Hey, Hey, don't forget dirt to dirt. Yeah, dirt to dirt.
All day. All day.
Dirt to dirt all day. Yes.

Speaker 1 Also,

Speaker 5 I might have a tryout coming up with the XFL. I've been talking behind the scenes, so I'm doing some.

Speaker 1 We'll do some Zoom. Some Zoom calls?

Speaker 5 We might have to do some Zoom calls, and I don't know, maybe we can catch up and go to the course.

Speaker 1 Refresher course.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because you can always come to Atlanta, huh?

Speaker 5 It's been two years, so it's time for you to knock the,

Speaker 1 you know, Russ never sleeps.

Speaker 5 I'm trying to get up to 37 yards. That's my goal.
Kick my own age. They say that's very hard to do.

Speaker 1 You're saying 10 out of 10?

Speaker 5 10 out of 10 in? 37 in. Ooh.

Speaker 1 I think we can do it. That's high aspirations.
I love it.

Speaker 1 I'll take that journey with you, bro. I think we can do it.
I'll take that journey with you.

Speaker 5 Billy's got all the research chemicals necessary.

Speaker 1 I love it. Hey, thanks, guys.
Thanks so much, Morton.

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Speaker 1 Bye. All right, let's wrap up Firefest of the week.

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Speaker 5 No Ding.

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Speaker 1 Experian!

Speaker 1 Okay, Hank.

Speaker 4 My Firefest, besides the South Ex coach getting suspended for a year and

Speaker 4 a disgustingly messy public

Speaker 4 drama, yeah.

Speaker 4 That sucks.

Speaker 1 The only crime he did was his dick was too hard.

Speaker 4 Wednesday night.

Speaker 1 Wednesday night? Tuesday? Tuesday night. Tuesday night? Tuesday night.
Tuesday comes before Wednesday.

Speaker 4 Tuesday comes before Wednesday to kill the two men.

Speaker 4 I wasn't even watching the game. I was just just playing video games, minding my business, doing my thing.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 let's get some context. He's talking about the Yankees game.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I was going to get there.

Speaker 1 Okay, all right, okay, all right.

Speaker 4 So I wasn't even watching the Yankees game.

Speaker 4 I was playing video games, and then I went to go use the bathroom, number two, sat down on the toilet, and right as I sat down on the toilet, I checked Twitter, as one does.

Speaker 5 The two-man.

Speaker 4 And I see, yep, it's two-manning on a Tuesday.

Speaker 5 You're a big poop guy, Hank.

Speaker 4 Huge poop guy.

Speaker 4 Number two on this podcast in terms of being a poop guy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, that makes you the ultimate poop guy.

Speaker 4 I see Aaron Judge hit a home run number 60. Everyone's freaking out, and I see the score that they're down for runs.

Speaker 4 We've been having this ongoing bad sports town debate on this show, so I decided to make a joke both at the bad sports town joke and at the Yankees fans' expense because fuck the Yankees and their fans.

Speaker 4 I like to troll them. And I said, This is embarrassing that they are celebrating this hard when they just went down from four to three in the bottom of the ninth.
Are the Yankees a bad sports town?

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 4 I think I switched apps.

Speaker 4 I sent the tweet out, switched apps, probably went over to Instagram, maybe Snapchat, who knows? Just doing my thing.

Speaker 4 Go back on Twitter before I even finish. I'm still in the process of tuning it up.
I'm still tuning.

Speaker 4 It was three minutes later.

Speaker 5 You were two and on.

Speaker 4 And my mentions were blown to smithereens with people being like, oh my God, oh my God, you're a fucking idiot. What's the score? Check the score, bitch.

Speaker 1 Like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 4 Turns out Mike Stanton hit a walk-off Grand Slam.

Speaker 4 So the Yankees won the game.

Speaker 1 So Aaron Judge's home run was important and they should have cheered.

Speaker 4 It was very important. They should have cheered.
And the fact that they cheered, so they were a good sports town.

Speaker 4 And the fact that they ended up winning on the Grand Slam made my tweet look idiotic, stupid. And I spent the night.

Speaker 1 Big Cat retweeted it.

Speaker 1 Well, it was a great tweet. I was behind in the game, so I was watching the game on delay.
You got blown to Smithereens. I saw your tweet and I was like, wow, that's a great point.

Speaker 1 And then when I got to real time, I was like, oh my god, Hank, this tweet must have been really bad.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I got like a couple of bombs dropped on me, and then Big Cat just came over the top with a nuke.

Speaker 1 And so I just got

Speaker 1 to retweet the game.

Speaker 4 I was just getting all types of mean tweets and messages, and people calling me all types of names, and it just wasn't nice, and I didn't appreciate it.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, sorry, Hank.

Speaker 5 I don't hate the take, though.

Speaker 1 I kind of like it.

Speaker 5 I kind of like the fact, though, when the way that they hid the score

Speaker 5 on the video that they tweeted from the MLB account so you couldn't see how potentially inconsequential that home run was.

Speaker 5 That was chicken shit.

Speaker 1 It was chicken shit.

Speaker 5 It was a chicken shit move on the part of Major League Baseball.

Speaker 1 I also

Speaker 5 hope so badly that Aaron Judge hit 61.

Speaker 5 And yeah, I hope he had 61 and 62 on Friday night on Apple TV. Yeah.
And just everyone's pissed off about it. And Michael Kaye is not on the call.
I hope it's

Speaker 5 the least important moment in the history of baseball. That's one of the most important moments.

Speaker 4 I get why scumbags like Jake and Billy care because it's like he's going for the Yankees record, but who gives a fuck?

Speaker 1 I do because I have this bet. Right.

Speaker 4 So you three care makes sense. But

Speaker 1 like,

Speaker 4 I hope you win your bet, too. He's going for sixth place in the all-time home run record.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 At the same time, I kind of agree with Hank on that take.

Speaker 1 We're like, you're going to win your bet.

Speaker 4 I'm talking about the rest of the nation.

Speaker 5 You're going to win your bet, you're going to cash out. But at the same time, he plays in a Mickey Mouse Stadium with Mickey Mouse fences.

Speaker 5 And if he played, I want to see how many home runs Aaron Judge would have hit if he played,

Speaker 5 what's the farthest stadium? Well, City Field

Speaker 5 where he's going to play next year.

Speaker 5 I want to see how many home runs

Speaker 5 he would have hit in City Field this year.

Speaker 4 Mike Stanton's Grand Slam wouldn't have been out in Fenway.

Speaker 1 Real Stadium.

Speaker 5 Didn't we look that up with Real Walls?

Speaker 5 He hit more

Speaker 5 not in the stadium?

Speaker 1 I don't know. Can we check that out?

Speaker 5 Yeah, but it's not going to stop me from spitting this takeout, though. That's the thing.

Speaker 4 I just don't get all the hoopla around it.

Speaker 5 i want to win my bet i understand okay that's all i can do about whatever it's a team record he's going for a team record yeah that's what it is the person that that gave him his ball back i think oh my god you're fuck that's just yankees fans in a nutshell you're well within your rights to give it back

Speaker 5 and he's basically he's like yeah billy we know that you're like an expert on ball contract no no but i have a i have a take Okay, okay.

Speaker 5 I think that they're paying these guys a lot, but they don't make it public how much they're giving them because they don't want to raise the price for future type memorabilia.

Speaker 5 So all those times you're like, oh, this person's stupid for just taking that much. Yeah.
I think they're getting paid off behind the scenes.

Speaker 1 Well, if I caught his 61st or 62nd home run, this is what I would ask for the ball.

Speaker 1 One, judge's bat used for the home run inscribed by judge. Two, one of the jerseys worn by judge inscribed by judge.
Three, a hard ticket to the game inscribed by judge. And four, pictures with judge.

Speaker 1 That was Dan Revelle cosplaying as foulball guy.

Speaker 1 I would ask his demands. Darren Revelle tweeted.
Oh, you said that's what he would do? That's his own demands.

Speaker 4 I would ask for season tickets for 10 years.

Speaker 1 I would ask for season tickets for life. Yeah.
What are they going to say? Right. Legend tickets.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'll keep the ball. You know what I would do?

Speaker 5 I would demand that Aaron Judge remain a Yankee after the season's over.

Speaker 5 I would have held it hostage to make sure that Aaron Judge signs with the Yankees and does not go anywhere else in free agency, and then I give him the ball back.

Speaker 1 It was funny because Ravel just tweeting out, like, here's what my demands are for a ball I'll never catch.

Speaker 1 There are a couple losers who are like, I'd just give it back to him because he did all the hard work. A loser.
No, you wouldn't.

Speaker 5 That's stupid. You're going to look real dumb.

Speaker 1 Yeah, get no, get something.

Speaker 5 Big cat, you're going to look real dumb when Darren Ravel catches the ball. Yeah.
I'm rooting for Darren Ravel. How cool would that be?

Speaker 1 Here's the thing, though.

Speaker 1 You guys said you've got to be a good one.

Speaker 5 It actually might be the biggest story in sports history that Darren Ravel catches number 62.

Speaker 1 He won't be able to catch a picture.

Speaker 4 Campbell went on vacation, by the way.

Speaker 1 Absolute fraud. What? Yeah.

Speaker 5 He bowed out the most important time.

Speaker 1 Brutal. That's never meet your heroes.
Wow.

Speaker 1 No, Ravel wouldn't be able to catch a ball because this ball, you're going to have to not only catch it, but you're going to have to complete a football move.

Speaker 1 Like, people are going to be going after you. Yeah.
Like, it's going to be awesome.

Speaker 5 I think Darren Ravel would turn, he would turn into like a cornered house cat. That actually

Speaker 5 starts scraping people with his nails.

Speaker 1 That would actually be the best outcome. Is Darren Revelle catches it, and then someone

Speaker 1 forces a fumble and then he spends the rest of his life complaining about how he technically caught it. Yeah, would be great.

Speaker 1 Would be great. Okay, good Firefest, Hank.
Sorry for retweeting it, but no, I'm not sorry.

Speaker 5 Great Firefest, Hank.

Speaker 1 That's awesome when I retweeted it.

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Speaker 1 No, use code Jake.

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Speaker 1 Jake. Jake.

Speaker 5 Billy, I'm going to ask you not to sign to our microphones. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Thank you. He's not mad.
He's just signing.

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Speaker 1 Promo code Jake for our boy.

Speaker 1 Jake thanks

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Speaker 5 that's the new nickname on the streets right now nice that the that motherfucker over there he he moves product as Erica Nardini would say PFT your fire fest uh my fire fest is

Speaker 5 I'm going to Knoxville Tennessee this weekend big cat you're also going there I will the college football show 130 I think is our show I can't remember what the bar is I will be at that bar doing some sort of wing contest versus Will Compton, yes.

Speaker 5 With Will Compton. I'm going to do like bussing.
I'm going to do a tour of the facility. I'm doing a lot of stuff with Macrodosing because Arian obviously went to Tennessee.

Speaker 5 It's his first time back on campus. Big T's a giant Tennessee fan.
His name is Big T.

Speaker 4 Is he playing 101?

Speaker 1 We agree.

Speaker 1 He might be.

Speaker 5 The Hill. He might be the Hill.

Speaker 1 He's at the Hill. 130 at the Hill.

Speaker 4 Such a great college bar name. Yeah, it is.
We're going to the Hill.

Speaker 5 So

Speaker 5 I've been looking forward to this weekend. It's going to be a fun time.

Speaker 5 But Knoxville, being a smaller city doesn't have that many options for flights out. Yeah.
And so I'm going to have to fly back on NFL Sunday as games are going on

Speaker 5 on a plane that I think will have TVs. Delta, right? Delta has TVs.

Speaker 1 Delta does have TVs, but they probably will only have... They'll have whatever.

Speaker 5 CBS and Fox.

Speaker 1 CBS and Fox, yeah.

Speaker 5 CBS and Fox. So I'm going to be subjected to whatever those games are.
I don't know how they determine what the local game is when you're on an airplane.

Speaker 1 I feel like it's usually just New York, so it'll be Jet Spangles. Jet Spangles.

Speaker 6 luckily pft you might only get cbs then with sling they have the red zone channel oh okay oh yeah i've done it on a plane before if it's good wi-fi it'll work okay well it's never good wi-fi though

Speaker 5 give me the allegiant air the plane that's in the process of crashing that has the extra wi-fi on it sounds like you need paramount plus i do have paramount plus great good call big cat so it looks like i'll be totally covered this weekend flying back but The point remains, flying during NFL Sundays, it's less than ideal.

Speaker 1 I mean, yeah, I took a red eye last week because I didn't want to do that. There's no, I didn't sleep just so I could watch football.

Speaker 5 My other option would be like drive to Nashville on Saturday after the game and try to fly back in the middle of the night.

Speaker 5 But there aren't that many red-eyes from Nashville.

Speaker 4 And time zones.

Speaker 5 And time zones. That's a bad airport for time zones.

Speaker 1 Knoxville's Eastern Time. It is.

Speaker 4 That's what I'm saying. But it's not Nashville.

Speaker 1 They're Nashville. It's Central.

Speaker 5 Remember? Different time.

Speaker 1 That's true. I do remember.
You forgot about time zones. You go

Speaker 5 back in time. Yeah.

Speaker 4 An hour. You don't want to fuck with the national airport

Speaker 1 in general. Yeah.

Speaker 5 So I don't.

Speaker 1 Carpeted airport, correct? I don't like carpeted airports. I don't think so.
Man, maybe I'm thinking of it. You can sleep on them.

Speaker 1 No, but something about carpeted airports, like, dude, people spill shit in airports. Where does that go? Yeah.

Speaker 5 It just stays there?

Speaker 1 I just forever.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know. But that's like a coffee dinner.
An airport doesn't need to be carpeted.

Speaker 5 They Zamboni the carpets.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't trust that thing.

Speaker 5 So, yeah. I'm very stressed out already about it.
Yeah, that's awesome. It does.
It stinks. I don't know what I'm going to do.
I'm still trying to find.

Speaker 5 If you own a plane in Knoxville and you're looking to just let me tag along while you fly up to New York on Sunday, Sunday morning, please let me know.

Speaker 5 What's that look, Hank?

Speaker 1 Yeah, someone hop in.

Speaker 1 Let them lock in. I know what I'm wrong.
Anyone with a private chat? Wait, no, you won't. You're not going to the game.
I went last year. It was a great experience.
Love Tennessee. Shout out, Dougs.

Speaker 1 Feels like 98.

Speaker 1 But yeah, I'm not going to the game. I need to get home.
I want to watch Wisconsin lose by 75 to Ohio State. I'm really looking forward to that.
That's going to be fun.

Speaker 1 Okay, my Fire Fest is, I'm just like two weeks behind PFT, but I have quit Zen and I am, yeah, I'm like four hours in and it sucks. Yeah.
So

Speaker 1 I'm no nicotine anymore for these boys.

Speaker 5 I'm here to tell you it gets better.

Speaker 1 I got some gum.

Speaker 1 I'm weaning myself off. I'm not strong enough to go cold turkey, but yeah, it sucks.
But we're doing it. We're going to be a nicotine-free podcast on this side of the room.

Speaker 1 I'm

Speaker 4 going nick-free. Yeah.
Are you?

Speaker 1 What's on your desk?

Speaker 4 That's Max's.

Speaker 5 Hank went with a, I'm holding it for a friend.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So everyone, please be supportive. Yeah, just big cat.

Speaker 5 Just, I'll be your sponsor.

Speaker 1 Well, Billy, let's not.

Speaker 4 I had actually quit, and then you came back with 100 tens.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that is the part that I sponsored.

Speaker 1 No, I bought, I just bought 100 tins, but I'm quitting.

Speaker 5 That's actually the best way to be able to quit something is to overdo it. Yeah.
Because you're not going to quit anything unless you reach a place where you acknowledge to yourself.

Speaker 5 Like, your rock bottom was spending, what, $100 on nothing but Zen at a given time? Tax was a lot. Was it? Yeah.
I thought we gave you money because it was cheaper.

Speaker 5 It was cheaper, but the tax is still.

Speaker 1 That's Billy's tax. Yeah.
No, no, it's not my tax.

Speaker 5 Billy came back with so much Zen that it had to be put into a box with foam packing peanuts. Yeah.
Which, I mean, Zen isn't really fragile, so that's telling you how much Zen we had.

Speaker 5 And at that point, you have to look yourself in the mirror and say, okay, this might be. I'm done.
It might be excessive at the time. 10.
We're done.

Speaker 1 I'm done.

Speaker 5 Yeah, 10 logs. So, Paquette, it gets better.
The first four days, in my experience, are the hardest. Yep.

Speaker 1 I'm going to do it. This Sunday is going to be tough.
I'm going to do it. This Sunday is going to be tough.

Speaker 4 Who are you laughing at? I just saw Netflix's tweet, PFT.

Speaker 5 What about it? Yeah, told you.

Speaker 4 They posted George's.

Speaker 4 The meme.

Speaker 4 I've got to focus. I'm shifting into soup mode.

Speaker 5 Cloud chasing on soup.

Speaker 5 It's left and right. I saw like three cartoons today.
Just because it's fall doesn't mean now you get back into soup.

Speaker 1 It's not chili season yet.

Speaker 5 Soup never left, bitch.

Speaker 1 Chili season might get here early. I saw next week.
It was like going to be in the 60s. That feels good.

Speaker 5 You know what meme has stopped, though?

Speaker 5 It's going to be fall. Time to start dressing.
Oh. That hasn't happened this season.
Christian Girl Autumn. Yeah, I saw one post, but it was like an ironic Christian Girl Autumn post today.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right, Billy, your Fire Fest.

Speaker 5 Fire Fest is that turns out Yik Yak is not anonymous. The app that was was very fun for colleges is not anonymous.

Speaker 5 And we found that out today because someone threatened to blow up a nuclear reactor in the Utah University

Speaker 5 of Utah science auditorium if they lost to San Diego State University. And it turns out it was a Yik Yak joke, and they found the person and arrested them.

Speaker 1 All-time Doctor is the mother moment when I think all of us here were like football guy, and then it came out it was a woman.

Speaker 5 So hand up. Yeah, respect to her.
Yeah, respect.

Speaker 5 I think it's disgusting how social media companies are just trying to censor everybody left and right these days and you can't even you can't threaten to detonate a nuclear weapon on campus after a bad loss that isn't even what she was doing she was just rooting for her team yeah it's disgusting you can't root for your team it's it's orwellian is what it is you can't root for your team otherwise you'll go to jail yeah uh also that's kind of to be honest with you that's like the coolest thing ever yeah that i'm not talking about like the the proposed detonation of it it fucking rocks that the university of utah has a nuclear reactor.

Speaker 1 Yeah, apparently Purdue does, too. So you gotta stop making future.
They're pretty easy to make.

Speaker 5 Oh, God. Oh, God.

Speaker 1 Jake, that's my Firefest.

Speaker 5 Jesus Christ. That's America's Fire Fest.

Speaker 1 Sorry, Jake. Sorry, Billy's been reading about how to make your own nuclear reactor.

Speaker 1 This is why you need to use promo code Jake because we can't have Billy have just $10,000 and go build an education.

Speaker 5 No, well, you know that what I'm going to do with it if I win, I'm going to put all of it on a Thursday night football game next week.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we've been through this. You're not giving it to charity.
Billy's true.

Speaker 5 And we're going to donate the winnings from If it wins in order to keep it.

Speaker 1 So you're trying to act like

Speaker 5 this whole thing was for charity when in reality it's to have you win money and then have you bet on a game. And then if you win extra money, then you give the extra money.

Speaker 1 Correct. No.
Making you look like it.

Speaker 5 You know what? I will pledge because I just wanted to show that I was able to push merch.

Speaker 1 I will donate all of it and the winnings. I already said I'd buy every

Speaker 1 dollar to buy PSI. I watched this.
My words are. I said I would take a sick vacation.
I will donate all of it. 25K plus the winnings.

Speaker 1 Billy.

Speaker 5 Promo code Billy? I will put that in writing. I'm saying it on the podcast.
I don't even want the money. I just want to show that, because I'm in third right now.

Speaker 1 Do you want to make a bet? I'm saying it right here. That'll make you a $25,000 bet.
What? Also, Billy. Yeah, I'll donate.

Speaker 5 Billy, what if you promise to enlist in the military if you win?

Speaker 5 That's just ridiculous.

Speaker 1 I'll actually

Speaker 4 win, Terry, if I win. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I'll match. All right.
No, but like, seriously, like, I actually was pushing the most merch on the first day. I was number one until the second.
day.

Speaker 4 Well, yeah, we got one update two hours in and Billy was like, it's over. Yeah.

Speaker 5 I was number one for like most of yesterday until the stripper came.

Speaker 1 I didn't even know that the seven days.

Speaker 1 I was on a banner after the first day. I didn't know the content is true.

Speaker 1 Look, from I'm just. He's not mad, just so everyone knows Billy's not mad.

Speaker 5 I just wanted to show that I could do something.

Speaker 5 Yeah, and Billy, guess what?

Speaker 1 But I'm being honest.

Speaker 4 But if you don't finish in the top 10, like, what have you shown?

Speaker 5 I'm going to, look, there's the funny part is Billy's going to wait till payday. People are going to get their paychecks.

Speaker 5 then we're gonna hit them with some serious sales pitch billy thinks that he's being attacked i'm not being attacked every day you literally just said a second ago and now i'm the one that's being attacked well

Speaker 1 because like every like i just started to do well then you're all like you know hating no you're all being haters we're not hating at all billy you're all being haters what happened was you got off you you got off your lead

Speaker 5 we started pumping up jake's promo code because we just wanted jake to win it had nothing to do with you and then you thought that everyone was attacking you because we were promoting jake i also didn't even know the contest was live for Billy's lead.

Speaker 1 Like, the time I realized that it was live, I was like, oh, okay. And then you were already out of the lead.
By the way, this is exactly what Hank wanted the entire time.

Speaker 5 I know, I'm Puppet Master Hank. When Hank developed this contest, he wanted it to turn to the Hunger Games.
But you're not going to have everybody

Speaker 5 taking shots at each other.

Speaker 5 We're playing into Hank's hand right now.

Speaker 5 We need to look ourselves in the mirror and say, why are we attacking each other when we're being manipulated by our boss?

Speaker 5 I just know I can do it by myself and get to the top.

Speaker 1 Let's go, Billy. But use promo code Jake.
Jake. Promo code Billy, please.
He's not mad. Promo code Jake.

Speaker 6 My Firefest is... I got my flu shot earlier this week.

Speaker 1 So did I.

Speaker 6 And I've been sore in the neck, in the arm.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God, Jake.

Speaker 4 It's been tough.

Speaker 6 Come on, heating pad, bio-free.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God, Jake. I got it too.
It did not.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it got me bad. I don't know.

Speaker 6 But yeah.

Speaker 5 Did you get it last year?

Speaker 1 I don't think so. I actually got it, and I forgot I got it.
So like the next day I woke up and I was like, went to take a shower. I was like, why do I have a bandaid? Oh, yeah, I got a shot.

Speaker 6 Also, I have an anti-firefest for you.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 5 Bo Borofsky just retired.

Speaker 1 Oh, nice.

Speaker 6 Big ten.

Speaker 1 Fuck. Basketball official.
See you never, bro. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He was the worst. The worst.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 I just checked the standings again. Yep, Jake, you're still ahead of Billy.
Nice. Thank you.

Speaker 6 But we got work to do.

Speaker 1 What about the not mad standings?

Speaker 5 The not mad, Billy's still number one. Okay, nice.
Not mad, nice. But I'm third overall.

Speaker 1 Nice.

Speaker 5 By myself. Yeah, but number one.
Not mad nice.

Speaker 1 And not mad. Not mad.
All right, numbers.

Speaker 5 Well, actually, honestly, we're still in the money.

Speaker 5 You're the least mad person. The least mad.
And if I'm in the money, then I don't have to.

Speaker 5 Actually, never mind. All right.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Hank,

Speaker 1 yeah. No, I know.
Merch contest? Not one. I'm climbing on the leaderboard.
I'm not climbing because you're not mad.

Speaker 4 What was your number? I'm climbing up the leaderboard.

Speaker 1 Oh, Hank. How the hell did you get in seven? Hank's winning his own contest.

Speaker 4 I'll tell you right now, Billy, the Carstick 3.0, now available on sale.

Speaker 1 That's interesting that it was released right now.

Speaker 4 It's great for opening cans, bottles, and lots of other uses.

Speaker 1 Like what?

Speaker 5 In the car?

Speaker 5 Like what, Hank?

Speaker 4 It's a 360 invention. There's thousands of uses.

Speaker 5 It's actually true. There probably are thousands of uses for that.

Speaker 4 Like if you want to check someone's

Speaker 4 knee, what do you call it?

Speaker 1 Reflexes. Reflexes.

Speaker 5 Yeah, if you're a doctor and you want to use you want to use like a beer bottle opener to check somebody out medically.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 5 Just lots of uses. Probably use it as a fishing lure.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you could do that.

Speaker 5 It looks like you could scoop stuff with that if you're like baking a cake. All right, numbers.
Like a tiny cake.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah, if you're trying to measure out some flour.

Speaker 5 If you're baking like one individual cupcake and you're looking to measure the sugar to put on top of the cupcake, that's a perfect device for it, hanging. Perfect.

Speaker 4 Yeah, if like you, you know, I make Cheerios. I like to do plain Cheerios to sprinkle a little sugar on top.
That's a great.

Speaker 1 Scoop it right out. There you go.
Beautiful. It's exactly one pinch.
Yep. Numbers, Hank, you ever won this?

Speaker 4 The ball machine? No. In this season of it?

Speaker 5 Or any season?

Speaker 1 No. All right.

Speaker 4 64. Three in honor of the Carstick 3.0.
Available now. Use promo code Hank for 10% off.

Speaker 5 I'm going to go.

Speaker 5 I'm going to go with 18 in honor of Rosh Hashanah.

Speaker 1 There we go. Jake.

Speaker 6 I'll go with 26. 26.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Billy, 69. Max.
20.

Speaker 1 I have 64.

Speaker 1 71.

Speaker 1 One guy did hit me up, said that they had 99. In that brief second, they were ecstatic.
Sorry to that guy.

Speaker 5 71, which is dented.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 5 Love you guys. Bad bites can occur without the victim even knowing.

Speaker 1 Oh, Jacob here.

Speaker 1 I'm getting there

Speaker 1 when you

Speaker 1 masturbate. Think about my tongue.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 you're clicking switching back and forth.

Speaker 1 Switching back and forth from my dick to my

Speaker 1 tongue

Speaker 1 Switching

Speaker 1 back

Speaker 1 and forth

Speaker 1 From my dick to my tongue

Speaker 1 I'm getting there

Speaker 1 when you

Speaker 1 bastard

Speaker 1 think about my tongue

Speaker 1 Oh

Speaker 1 your clip and switching back and forth

Speaker 1 switching back and forth from my dick to my

Speaker 1 tongue.

Speaker 1 Dick to my tongue, dick

Speaker 1 to my

Speaker 1 tongue,

Speaker 1 dick to my tongue, switching

Speaker 1 back

Speaker 1 and forth,

Speaker 1 from my dick to my tongue.