NFL Week 3, Fastest 2 Minutes, The Dolphins Are For Real And The Jaguars Have Arrived

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On today's Pardon My Take, week three of the NFL, maybe not the best week, but we're going to recap every game. We're going to do fastest two minutes.
We have football guy of the week, who's back of the week. We going to get into all of it is including this sunday night football game that makes us want to never watch football again but that's what we have to do to get the great weeks but we do have some uh big games that we want to get through and some teams that are looking for real and some teams are looking absolutely terrible as brought to you by as we progress the season, every fan knows that big wins are hard to come by and tough losses are even

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Now in the streets there is violence And then a lot of work to be done No place to hang out or wash in And then I can't lay all on the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh, we're gonna rock down to It's Part of My Take, presented by Barstool Sports Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by Game Time Today is Monday, September 26th, week three What? What? where the Titans tell their quarterback Ryan Tannehill wake up Aggie I think I got something to say to you it's late September and your team is 0-2 and wake up they did as Tannehill, wake up, Aggie. I think I got something to say to you.
It's late September and your team is 0-2.

And wake up they did.

As Tannehill hit his tight end, Jeff, come on, ride that swam for a touchdown.

Damn, Josh McDaniels.

Back at it again with the shitty coaching job.

As Mark Davis, of all people, is saying,

I wish I had never seen your face to his new head coach. Titans, 24.
Raiders, 22. What? What? What? Over in Indianapolis, where Jim Irsay took the top off Ruth Bader Ginsburg and awarded Colts fans with sweet, sweet relief as the Kansas City Chiefs Justices passed away right into the eyes of the sun.
Patrick Daddy Mahomes got in a fight with his offensive coordinator and said, If you want it, you can get it. Let me throw.
Lil' John Taylor put up 71 yards and the Chiefs lose to the winless Colts. What? Lose to the winless Colts.
What? Lose to the winless Colts. What? Colts 20, the Chiefs 17.
In a battle of undefeateds down in Miami, where the Bills went up against the Dolphins, old Mike McDaniel had a farm. They are 3-0.
And on that farm he had a duck. They are 3-0.
With a waddle here and a waddle there and a waddle here and a waddle there. Old Mike McDaniel had a farm.
They are 3-0. And look grim for the Dolphins as their quarterback was seeing Tua.
But after going into the locker room, the doctor said he needed a bacchiotomy. Ken Dorsey looked like a guy whose college team lost a 26-point favorite to Middle Tennessee as time expired.
Wait. What? From? From? From? From? From? The Dolphins punted a ball into their own asshole and still won this game.
Team of destiny. People are asking, Teej.
Dolphins 21. Bills 17.
In Foxborough, where Lamar Jackson used promo code Jake on the Barstool Sports Store Was feeling good after taking a 10% markdown Andrews to the end zone twice Patriots fans are saying, what the fuck? Jones, as he threw three interceptions And in a touching tribute to Nancy Kerrigan, cried, why me? Why me? Why me? Why me, Teach? As he was hopped off with a hurt ankle. It was a big day for Irish culture as punter Jordan Guinness-Irish Stout pinned them deep and Jim Carbaum sent a clear message to their would-be oppressors.
Ravens 37, the Patriots 26. Just a heads up before we start the next two games.
We've been scrolling Twitter a lot, going to Bleacher Report.

We're hip.

It's a fantastic website, boom.

We're hip.

In Detroit, where Jer Him Goff went up against Kirk Kazim,

it was a battle of elite skill players as well as Just Him Jefferson

and Adam Thiel Him battled against Ahim Ross St. Brown and Deahim Swift.
The Himisota Vikings no longer have Mike Himmer as head coach, but their new guy, Kev Him, O'Connell, is up to the challenge. The game came down to the final minute, and K.J.
Osborne caught a touchdown for the win. Vikings 28, Lions 24.
Speaking of Hims, two of the greatest Hims faced off in Tampa Bay, as Aaron Rodgham and Tahem Brady battled for what could be the final time. The Packers tried to pound the rock with A.J.
Dillham and the Bucs answered in kind with a heavy dose of Linham Fournette. The game came down to the final two-point conversion as the Bucs had a delay of game and Russell Gage was unable to bring in the two-pointer.
Aaron Rodgers afterwards implied that the Packers may have cheated with a jumbotron and we are once again asking for him to be put in prison. Packers 14, the Bucs 12.
In LA, Justin Herbert was not him. Good one, boom.
As the Jags took on the Chargers, not only did Cousins have a good day up in Minnesota, but it was a productive day for the Christian Kirk down in California as well. Teach me how to Dougie Peterson has all the bitches loving him in Duval after a 2-1 start.
And Jaguars fans, don't look up, but Trevor Jennifer Lawrence has your team on the top of the AFC South. And in the words of Devin Lloyd Christmas, who had an interception today, you're saying there's a chance.
Jaguars 38, Chargers 10. Huh? Huh? The Jaguars 2-1.
Huh. That's why they play the games.

In the desert, where the Rams and Cardinals tangled,

it was Alex Cooper Cup who started the scoring,

hitting the cards with a voodoo clam.

But the game slogged after that into a defensive battle

that looked like a remake of Cooper, two girls, one cup.

Gross boom.

The cards weren't able to reach the end zone,

instead settling for a side of taters. Matt taters, that is.
Vietnam Acres with Cy gone for a touchdown as the running back looked back to form. The Rams, 20.
The Cardinals, 12. Standing on the corner, Jameis Winston down in Nola Such a fine sight to see It's Faker, my lord, thrown to DJ Moore Winston only threw two INTs Against the Panthers They had no answers And at least the Saints look better than the Commanders.
The Saints don't go marching. Panthers.
I'm going to make this up. I don't know what it was.
22-12. That sounds about right.
That sounds right. And that is week three brought to you by our friends at Chevy.
Chevy Silverado is commanding, unstoppable, and powerful. It's always truck season here at PMT, but now it's also tailgate season with the Chevy Silverado.
Brought to you by Chevy Silverado. Boomers are.
Learn more at Chevy.com. Okay, week three in the books.
We are in the middle of quite the Sunday night football football affair it is as this taping it is 49ers 10 broncos 5 russell wilson's getting booed in denver this is uh this is the game that we were promised when iowa and ruckers played on saturday night it is punt fest and then we had of course jimmy g uh getting a safety by running out of his own end zone uh which we will get to but wasn't the weirdest safety of the day so that's that's almost an incredible sentence to say that jimmy g orlovskied and it wasn't the weirdest safety today well it's interesting because i would actually rather have a football punted directly into my asshole than watch this game again yeah yes absolutely this has been an abomination of a game and we went from listen this is this is the speech that we need to give people these are the weeks that uh you walk away from week three and you feel unsatisfied you're like there wasn't any uh incredible moments there were a couple games that you know the bills dolphins was exciting there was a couple moments that were cool but it wasn't it didn't have that pizzazz and that's what what i'm trying to say is not every week can be incredible and it makes you realize when we have the incredible weeks how special they are because we just went from the uh bucks packers game to this game and i think combined there's been like 50 punts in the last for in the last like you know how they're like in real time not game time real time real lifetime our lives there have been 50 punts in the last four hours there's something I wrote down earlier about this game I been watching it because it is it does it tests us as football right exactly that's what I said these are the times the Summer Soldier and the Sunshine Patriot, will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their league. But he that stands by it now deserves the love and thanks of man and woman.
That's us right now. Yeah.
We're the watchful guardians over the NFL. We're watching this disaster of a football game.
It's a labor of love for us. And I'm sure that this is one of those games that in the middle of the dark days of April, maybe early July.

Yeah.

We'll be wishing for.

We'll be pining for.

We'd die for this game.

I would probably kill most people that I know to get this game on TV in early July.

And we just saw a shot of Russell Wilson trying to pump up his offensive lineman. I just can't.
You can't tell me those guys don't hate him because you're 10. It's 10-5.
You've had no offensive rhythm. And he's coming over and being like, let's ride, guys.
We got this. We're going to do it next time out.
It's going to be totally different than all the other times. Also, while you're sitting on the sideline trying to catch your breath from running around and blocking and gaining no yards can you please just make sure you shout out runner pass and they're like all right dude come on like let's just go home this is too much yeah um i i think it's time to ask the question big cat who won the russell wilson drew lock trade i mean this is without drew lock there would be no geno smith yes writing back cooking cooking cooking geno is literally writing back to everybody this week he's like he's doing a uh rich passaccia and he's sitting down and hand writing letters to everybody that hated and be like yeah you're right geno smith just had uh his wedding and bar mitzvah and also had a kid that's how many like thank you letters he has to write out to all these people yeah paulie pd please all getting letters back thank you thank you for uh not believing in me because you turned out to be right but yeah this game is an abomination i don't really know where like the broncos have looked objectively russell wilson bias aside objectively really bad and really disjointed and nathaniel hackett who hired a operations guy to basically tell him what to do in these big situations which i'm going to give our guy nathaniel hackett some credit most head coaches uh nfl or college any sport really they are control freaks they want to do everything their way nathaniel hackett put his ego aside and was like yeah you know what i kind of need some help here because my team keeps getting delayed games and i keep calling weird timeouts uh so i'm going to give him credit for at least acknowledging the fact that he has a deficiency and he he rectified it but now he should be spending more time with the offense and it should look better than five points um which was a bomb field goal and jimmy garoppolo stepping out of bounds in the end zone okay so i know what you're saying about giving him credit for it because a lot of guys would be uh it would be it would be averse to give up that sort of decision making now a big part of being an nfl head coach is decision making and in-game management i'd say that's probably probably a top two part of being an NFL head coach.

But you'll remember that when we talked to Nathaniel Hackett,

did the interview at Denver, we asked him what the process was like

when he was interviewing for the job.

What did they ask him about?

And he's like, they didn't really ask me much about my strategy

or in-game stuff at all.

Maybe that was a mistake on their part.

Maybe.

On the other hand, there's a possibility that it could be like ownership

might have said, hey, you need to like a special assistant to look over your shoulder and to pretty much tell you how to do your job or else this relationship's not going to work out it might not have been his decision i think to get that to get that guy in one and one i and i think nathaniel hackett seemed like sitting with him even though we were with him for 30 minutes, he seems like a self-aware guy. I mean, he knows, he knows, you know, and like I said, there's a lot of coaches, they get one shot and they're like, it's my way or the highway.
I'm going to do it this way. And you guys are all going to fall in line.
Nathaniel Hackett is probably like, Hey, I have a pretty talented roster. This is a lifetime, you know, dream to be a head coach.
I better not fuck it up when I can't remember like delay of games and how many timeouts I have so I still think he's making decisions it just would help to have a guy who's just watching the game flow and being like hey dude you might want to call a timeout here so and then obviously he lost a challenge today which is like that that new guy just fire that's not that's the new guy's job. The new guy's job, I think, is to just be like, hey, the play clock's going down.
Yeah. The job of that assistant is essentially to be like Tony Romo on television, be like, and they should watch out for the play clock on this one.
Right. Just like whisper, hey, Nathaniel, remember, there is a play clock.
Yes. And it will expire if you don't get the play in yes uh so yeah it's been it's been interesting seeing this Broncos offense try to move the ball at all and Russ looks like a bunch of poo-poo out there he's bad he looks like he's bad right steamy poo-poo and Jimmy Garoppolo doesn't look that much better now to be fair to Jimmy Garoppolo they've gone out of their way to say like Jimmy G was not given a playbook offseason, and even in training camp, because I guess they were trying to keep him pristine for any other team that wanted him.
Yeah, to trade him, yeah. So you could trade him away so he wouldn't be able to give away any of their secrets after he walked out of the facility.
But he has not looked good. He did have the Orlovsky, which a lot of people are saying, like, okay, the torch has been passed.
Dan Orlovsky will no longer be remembered as the guy that ran out of the

back of the end zone.

Congrats, Dan.

You're free.

I'd just like to say on behalf of everyone,

Dan Orlovsky will always be the first guy that I think of.

And he ran out of the end zone.

Like, he kept on going.

Yeah.

They had to whistle it.

They had to, like, call Jared.

They had to be, like, down boy to Jared Allen because he was about to rip his head off. No, Jared Allen did a full gritty through the back of the end zone before Dan Orlovsky realized that the play was over, that he was out of there.
Yeah, he was sprinting out of bounds. It's still called an Orlovsky.
It's not a Jimmy Garoppolo. If anything, this is actually like, I know Dan Orlovsky, it was funny that he tweeted freedom.
But if anything, it's bad for him because now everyone's just resharing it and more young NFL fans are like, oh, shit, that happened in a real game. Wait, that's happened again? Yeah.
Holy fuck. Oh, wow.
Wow. This one is way worse.
Yeah. Way, way worse.
Congrats to Jimmy Garoppolo. Nobody's going to remember that he drifted out of the back of the end zone in this game.
But there will be a new generation americans that wake up yes to dan orlovsky and again uh let's let's just get into it so the first game is dolphins 21 bills 19 it wasn't the craziest safety of the day because the dolphins literally the punter kicked a ball into his player's own asshole for a safety so uh a wild day of safeties yeah it was awesome this was a wild game the dolphins are three and oh which is crazy and uh i the bills so let's can i just talk about the butt punt real quick yeah go ahead i feel like since you brought it up we should get all the butt punt conversation go ahead instead of coming back to it you got some butt punt jokes well no no let's fire it off yeah go. I got no jokes about the butt punt.
I'm just saying that I was going to do like a little NBA Reddit segment where they come up with stupid rules. Yeah.
What if you punt a ball into your own player's asshole and he goes past the line of scrimmage? And he runs with it? It should count. Is it considered? But he can't.
You have to tackle him. Yeah, if he makes it into the end zone, then that's just a touchback, right? You don't get a touchdown if you score off a punt with a football wedged in your own asshole.
I think if he's got it in his own asshole and he runs the whole length of the field and gets into the end zone, I think that should be a touchdown. But it comes off the punter's foot, though.
Right, right. But I think that should be the only rule.
If you get it stuck in there, that's a live ball for your team.

If you have internal possession of a football, it counts the same as a forward pass.

I agree, yes.

Okay, that's really the big question that I had.

But the punter did show zero awareness on that because his personal protector wasn't –

it's not like he was lined up in a different position.

Yeah, they were punting out of the end zone,

so maybe they didn't have as much room to work with,

but the dude didn't get pushed backwards into you. No just stepped up and you kicked you kicked a live football into your own teammates colon it actually uh proves you know that whenever you have the discussion what are the most exciting plays in sport a buzzer beater walk-off home run a punt out of your the back of your own end zone is one of the most exciting plays in all sports because it's just utter chaos because everything is mushed together and you know like all right this guy probably doesn't have a lot of time he could get blocked he could get a safety he could step out of bounds it could go over his head it is like very underrated one of the most exciting plays in sports and then you get this and then you usually have a punter who's getting leveled at some point over the course of the play.
And that's always fun to see like a 115-pound guy get ragdolled. Helicopter.
Just absolutely helicoptered and the ball is flying through the air. It's a great play in sports for sure.
All I'm going to say is Jack Fox could never do anything like that. And that's our Jack Fox mention of the week.
But yeah, that was maybe the most exciting play of the entire day today. Yeah, it was an awesome awesome and the picture that came out of it the guy who just i mean i guess he was just ready he was like he probably said to himself like what if he fucking punts this right into his asshole like i gotta get ready and he goes he gets his camera ready because it was perfectly timed where he got that picture it's a lesson to the kids you don't have to get ready if you stay ready yep at any moment somebody could get a ball kicked up their ass right up their asshole so um yeah this game though let's talk about this game because i'm i'm not worried about the bills i think the bills will be fine they do have a lot of injuries in their secondary i am worried about the bills being so josh allen dependent that he has to be superhuman um in games like this so I went and looked it up because I was just curious.
So Josh Allen, he dropped back 73 times today. And when we were watching this game, we were joking like they just can't, even when they were on goal line, it's like here would be a nice time for them to be able to run the ball.
And the Bills just can't run the ball. They like, for whatever reason, they haven't been able to run the ball the last couple of years.
And every now and then it rears its ugly head. So I looked it up.
Josh Allen, in his career, and this is actually only the last, like, two and a half years, so it's not even rookie Josh Allen. In his career, he has attempted 47 or more passes in eight games.
The Bills are one in seven in those games. So basically, Josh Allen has to become Superman, man, they don't win games.
And in those eight games, the Bills, uh, rushers not named Josh Allen are averaging 51 yards per game. Yeah.
Total. So they basically, it's like the script of he's their entire office.
He has to throw the ball a ton of times and they can't run the ball. And you get games like this where had the the the the dolphins ran 39 plays 39 plays it's insane they the bills had the ball for 40 minutes the dolphins ran 39 plays and it was like josh allen has it it was actually kind of similar to that game against the jaguars uh last year where they lost like what nine to six and it was like every play every, every snap was the same.
Josh Allen snaps shotgun has to run around, do something crazy. No one's open.
And then they lose the game. I think that's what it felt like.
I think the bills just can't play in Florida because they had the Jacksonville game last year. They had the Tampa Bay game last year and they, they have this one.
They are not, they're not built for whatever that is, a commonwealth, a state,

the Sunshine State.

They're not built for the Sunshine State.

They're also not built to win close games at all. So they've got 20 straight wins by double-digit scores,

and they have zero wins in their last six one-score games.

Yes.

So they just can't do it when it's close.

0-6 when the game's decided by eight points or fewer. And you saw it because it was essentially like the small little things.
Not being able to clock it at the end of the first half. Not being able to clock it at the end of the game.
Josh Allen fumbled on his own 10-yard line. That throw that the only throw he really missed all day was the one where it was like a sure touchdown throw at the end of the game and he just skipped it um so i shanked field goal like our missed field goal that was a 38 like the little things that the bills weren't able to do running the football i like this conversation because we can say because at the end of the game it was definitely a sign that the bills have not played in close games right when i think it was singletary? He didn't know how to get out of bounds, or he had that lack of awareness.
The Bills are too good that when they win games, they don't get the practice for situational football that you need to eventually be able to win close games against good teams. Correct.
So the Bills need to get less good at football in order to get better at football. Yeah, they need to, and they need to figure out a way to start winning these ugly games because these are the games that you play in the playoffs i'm not worried about the bills but it was it was shocking to see like how little they could be able to run the ball and it it's also funny because there's always the uh new analytics of like the pass is so much better than the run and but then you talk to anyone who played you know, you know, football at a high level.
And they're like, no, no, no running the football is like a lot more about attitude and your team's toughness. And you have to be able to do it because you can't just be like, Hey, big 300 pound offensive lineman run backwards for the entirety of a game and block.
Like it just doesn't work that way. You have to go forward.
So, um, I'm not worried about the bills, but it was one of those things like, hey, maybe you can't have Josh Allen do everything all the time. And then on the other side, the Dolphins are 3-0, and their defense deserves a ton of credit because they basically were like, we're not going to let you throw it deep over our heads.
We're going to keep everything in front of us. We're going to make you do these long drives.
They made huge plays. They pressured the fuck out of Josh Allen.
And Tua, who was not concussed at all because they told us he wasn't, even though he totally was. I'm praying for Tua's back right now because it looked like a pretty bad back injury where he got hit on the head so hard that the whiplash kind of drifted down and went into his lower back and locked it up.
That's nasty. You hate to see that.
It's a classic injury. And then when he stood up and he tried to walk it off and he was all dizzy because his back was out of alignment, and so it kind of threw off his inner ear because he's got his pelvis down over here and his spine curves to the side and his brain's on this other side.
So it was a nasty back injury, and I hope that he gets better because a back injury is something that can nag you for a long time. Yes, yes.
And so let's just say this is basically Florio has his marching orders for the rest of the week. Florio is going to be all over this.
They're doing an NFLPA full investigation. Yeah.
And I'm going to do a fast forward preview of what the investigation is going to say to us. So you had a brain injury, right? You had a concussion.
You were dizzy. No, it was my back that hurt.
Yeah. But no, it was very clear that you had a concussion and you couldn't sit up.
No, my back. It was just my back.
It was in traction. And then that's the end of the investigation.
Yeah. But to came out, came back in, didn't play his best game, but made huge plays in the fourth quarter.
Like Tua, I, I'm and on but the undisputable fact about two is he's a winner like he's just a winner he finds ways to win and obviously a team game but he's a winner he beat a quarterback without an o in his last name for the first time and what finally 20 games finally did he's checked off the last unbeaten quest on his list. I also have a tune-on fact for you.

Tua, through the first three weeks,

leads the league in completion percentage in the third quarter.

He's Mr. Third Quarter.

I like it.

79% completion percentage in the third quarter this year.

That means he's very coachable.

He can make adjustments at halftime.

Right out of the half.

He's ready to go.

This was, though, obviously the Bills get talked about because everyone had the bills as a super bowl uh favorite to go into the season so anytime they lose it's a conversation but i walked away from this being like yeah the dolphins are for real for real because remember we talked about like mike mcdaniel when he has to face adversity when he has to win the tough games this was a tough fucking game they they had the ball for 20 minutes The bills had the ball for 40 like they had to dig deep and their defense had to make big fucking plays and they were able to do it and two is a winner and jake would you like to i mean three and oh the only the only undefeated team the only team that's three and oh right now correct the eagles oh the eagle sorry the eagles yeah our super bowl sorry the Eagles and then the Giants are 2-0. The Eagles are fucking – the Eagles are like 16-0 already.
Yeah, so last year when the Dolphins were 1-7, I called on the show that they would be 500 by Christmas, and I was correct, right? Because I saw their schedule. You can play the schedule game quickly here.
Uh-oh. So at Cincinnati Thursday, that's a tough game.
Yep. If they can win that.
Now, I've got that pegged as a possible white helmet game for the Bengals. If it's a white helmet game against the Teal or Aqua, whatever they are, Dolphins jersey, that will be my uniform game of the year.
I think there's a chance that after this game, they might be favored in every game until December. Give us the list.
That's when they go to buffalo hear me out at the jets okay win home against the vikings win home against the steelers win at detroit when lost possible possible yeah but they will be favored in that game you're right they'll be favored at chicago when yep favored home against browns favored No, that's not be favored. At Chicago.
Win. Yep, favored.
Home against Browns. Favored.
What? Ja'Shawn. No, that's not Ja'Shawn yet.
Not yet? Week 10. Week 10? Yeah.
Okay, we know that there's a massage place down there for Mr. Kraft.
Week 11 by. Week 12 home against Houston.
And then week 13 they're at San Fran. That's a good schedule.
That's a good schedule. That's a good schedule.
Damn. We might have 11-0.
That's how? Call my shot. 11-0.
11-0? Yep. 11-0 until December.
I mean, I'm most likely going to be wrong wait wait Billy just said oh just Billy's going to shoot you in the day Billy's going to shoot Jake if they're not 11 and 0 I like that but yeah it is a pretty favorable schedule yeah that is I think they're I think they're a very good team like I awesome and they've shown they can win both ways right every. Every way.
They've won a game convincingly. They've won a game

with a crazy comeback. They've

grinded this game out.

I would like to give some credit to an

unheralded member of the Miami Dolphins because

we do talk a lot about Waddle and Hill as

we should and Tua because they're playing

out of their minds. Alec Ingold.

Yes. Favorite person

of part of my take. I believe he's a low man trophy

winner. Yes.
From his college days. Great fullback.
Was awesome out in Las Vegas as their fullback for a couple years. He's the Kyle Juszczyk of the Miami Dolphins.
Because McDaniel's coming over from San Francisco where they have Juszczyk. And they're using him as like, he's not a Kool-Aid man body like Patrick Ricard.
He's like a barrel drink guy, if you remember having those.

He's got a thick neck.

He's got a thick neck.

He's catching balls out of the backfield.

But he's fun to watch because he's getting downfield and just burying people on blocking assignments,

opening up lanes for receivers after they catch the ball.

He's making the field more open.

And he's really fun to watch.

So if you haven't watched Ingold in action, give him a look. He's one of our favorite players.
Yes. And, yeah, I'm buying on the Dolphins.
By the way, the Broncos did score a touchdown. That was crazy.
They actually showed a sign of life with some offense. So now we have a decent game.
Is it 11-10 to score a Gami? Steelers 11, Chargers 10, November 16, 2008. We can get 18-11 if they score and go for two, which is possible to make it seven.

That would be a Scorigami.

Imagine if we get a live Scorigami on the show.

That would be wild.

That would be probably the most listened to episode of all time.

Truly wild.

For all the math and football fans out there.

We should also talk about Ken Dorsey.

Ken Dorsey, he got done dirty by CBS after the game because they knew that they had gold

when they showed his freakout on camera.

After Singletary did not get to the sidelines,

they didn't have enough time to spike the ball.

Ken Dorsey got so mad, he just started smashing everything in front of him.

Everything.

And then once he smashed his tablet, shout out Tom Brady,

he realized he didn't have anything else to smash,

and all he had was, like, papers.

And then he just started really aggressively ruffling up the papers. Yeah paper he was the meme of the monkey just throwing shit off the desk because he didn't have anything cool to smash so he just started crumpling papers and just screaming his head off and then somebody like stuck their hand over and covered up the camera and the to protect ken dorsey from becoming an internet sensation which he was which he was he became and and uh you could see like the the coaches in the background just being like whoa dude like take it easy like it was a and it was a real life andy bernard situation when he punches the wall it's the regular season oh dude he's like and he probably actually turned everyone's like that was a little overreaction but um and then the the clip went viral of him i don't know when it was it wasn't after the game it was earlier this It was earlier this summer when he goes, I'm not like, I don't think I'm a psychopath or anything.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Yeah, he laughed like a psychopath.
He did the Jeff Bezos laugh. Yeah, yeah.
He laughed. He's like, yeah, I'm not a psychopath.
Okay, dude. If you have to actually say that, then you are a psychopath.
I'll tell you what. I personally have never said I am not a psychopath in my life no i have not as well so i've billy definitely definitely has to like dude dude it's like i'm not like a sociopath that's i've actually can i've heard him i've heard yeah i can hear that in my head right now um but yeah it was it was crazy oh and looks like the broncos are gonna win this game well there's still three three timeouts for the Niners.
But, yeah, Jimmy G just threw a pick. Hank just let out a huge sigh.
Oh, man. And all that booing of the Broncos and all that stuff we talked about.
They still didn't look good. I still don't think they looked good.
A win's a win. A win is a win.
Don't apologize for a win. Yeah, don't apologize for two and one.
Okay. Colts, Chiefs, next game up.
Colts did it. They finally won a game.
This was – this is like the Ayesha Curry. I swear it's rigged because this stunk.
We talked about it on Friday how much this game stunk, how the Colts were the play because it just made no sense. They looked look terrible and the chiefs of the chiefs uh but credit to the colts because they won a game the roof was open it mattered credit matter credit to jim ursay yes credit to this podcast so sometimes we're so dumb and so stupid on this podcast that we actually end up being the smartest people in the world and this is one of those rare instances where our stupidity was miles ahead of any algorithm of any mathematical genius out there.
I don't care what spreadsheet you're looking at. We're the only ones that said we're betting on the Colts if the roof is open.
Mr. Ursae opened the fuck out of that roof yesterday.
I have never seen a brighter stadium. And in the fourth quarter, they go to Travis Kelsey in the end zone.
The Chiefs throw pass directly with the sun in his eyes at the last minute. He drops it.
The roof won that game for the Colts. Also, there was a muff punt on the very first possession.
That's another roof turnover. So I watched the muff punt because I was like, ooh, can we give this to the roof? It did look like it was fully shaded but i'm still gonna say it was it was the roof well he's looking up at the blue sky right that's it's more it's harder yes that's his name but yeah he he's not maybe he's not great sky less if that's how you're gonna act yeah that was that basically was the like it wasn't a game but the colts couldn't move the ball offensively they They punt.
He drops the ball at the five-yard line. He also had one that he didn't feel that it got down to the one.
So the Chiefs aren't a perfect team. We're finding that out.
There's only one perfect team. It's the Eagles, but the Chiefs are not a perfect team.
I'll say something nice to the Colts fans, or to the Chiefs fans rather, because this was a tough game. it was a tough game for a couple reasons one obviously like special teams turnovers stink but also the extended drive because of the Chris Jones penalty when he just yelled at Matt Ryan yes I think he just cussed at him and the referee was like you're not allowed to cuss well no to the flag I think the biggest problem with that is it's Matt Ryan right we said it yeah you can't c cuss at matt like matt ryan's not gonna not gonna hurt you it was like cussing at it like a lab labrador puppy yeah we said it as it was happening i was like there's nothing that matt ryan could say that would make you that upset so the rest were just like dude it's like what are you talking about it's matt ryan like he doesn't there's no way that he elicited this reaction from you you're way overreacting flag 15 yards it's the very definition of chill out man it's not that serious right right no as it was happening we're like there's no way matt ryan said anything bad to chris jones nothing and any cuss word any any phrase that you could utter at matt ryan gets amplified by like a million because it's it just seems so one-sided and lopsided so they're gonna over correct on you you.
I think they just sacked him with like three guys. I'm pretty sure Chris Jones like teabagged him on the way up.
He laid on him a little bit, kind of pushed him, and then he said something to his face. And it's like I was actually saying because I bet on the Colts.
I was like, that's elder abuse. Like you can't do that.
That's Matt Ryan. He's barely holding it together.
I think he fumbled another two times today he's he's getting to the point he's like uh when your grandparents are so old and you need the big numbers on the on the phone so they can see it like matt ryan needs like a smaller ball because he's fumbled seven times in three games so far he can't he doesn't have the dexterity to hold on to the football anymore you can't do that to matt ryan he's reached the point in his career where he he starts to to flinch and like wince while he's in the pocket before he ever gets sacked like he sees a defender coming at him unblocked and the second that guy gets free of his blocker matt just starts to curl up right right he's like this is gonna suck please don't do this the other the other big play from this game and i don't i think the chiefs this happens it feels like this happens uh once or twice a year to to these chiefs the kid you know andy reed chiefs patrick mahomes chiefs um where they just get way too cute with it a pretty significant play fourth and 10 on i think it was like maybe the 25 yard line they go for a field goal they do a fake field goal a designed fake field goal where the holder tries to pass to the tight end and it's like dude you have Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelsey and all these guys if you're going to go for it just go for it why would you have a holder a punter throw the ball instead of Patrick Mahomes so they got too cute they got too cute and it's like it makes no sense leave your offense out there and just go for it instead of doing whatever the fuck that was if you're gonna do a fake field goal what was that noise hank oh my god are you okay the is that a yawn no the the the by the way hank's been on like an all-time night for yawns tonight. We're doing a show over here.

Hank is just trying to sweat out his bet.

The Niners muffed the punt, and Hank just screamed,

Ball!

No, that wasn't what you said.

You did not say ball, because the team you bet on was the one that fumbled,

so you don't say ball for that.

You shrieked.

That was funny, because your mic wasn't on, so it was like from across the room. Oh! Anyway.
Where were we? Very dumb. Very dumb by the ball.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The fake punt.
Or the fake field goal. If you're going to fake a field goal, put Justin Reed out there at least.
I think he could probably do anything on the football field. And obviously, if they have Bucker, who's still injured, they probably just kick the field goal, but they don't trust their backup.
There are a million reasons why the Chiefs were a better team today, but all that matters is the Colts won this game because some fuck shit happened. And Matt Ryan led them back in the fourth quarter for a game-winning drive.
He's now six all-time for fourth-quarter game-winning drives by quarterbacks. Jimmy G's got got sacked this game is probably going to end right now um brady manning tied for 54 breeze and roethlisberger tied for 53 marino with 47 and then matt ryan uh has joined brett farve who should be in jail at 43 fourth quarter comebacks i have i was looking at the list and this is just one of those those stupid football fans looking at a list being like, this is pretty cool.
Active players. Matt Ryan, like I said, is currently.
Billy, what the hell is going on in this room? Jesus Christ, guys. Matt Ryan is currently second in active players behind Brady for fourth quarter comebacks.
Who do you think is the

sixth person on that list?

Active players. That's a great question.

I'll give you a hint.

I want no hints.

So it's Brady Ryan 1-2. Active players.

And then I gotta mentally skip past

numbers 3, 4, and 5.

Joe Flacco. No, no, you can say 3, 4, and 5

if you could throw them out. Joe Flacco.

No, Joe Flacco's not. I'll give you 3, four, five.
Stafford's three. Okay.
Russ is four. Carr is five.
Carr is five. Six.
Jameis? Nope. Not enough.
Not enough fourth quarter comebacks. Sixth on the active fourth quarter comebacks.
Game-winning fourth quarter comebacks. Is it Kirk? Nope.
It's Andy Dalton. Nice guy Andy Dalton.
Ahead of Aaron Rodgers. Interesting.
Pretty crazy. Yeah.
I mean active asterisks. Yeah.
Semi-active. He's active.
He's active. He's very active for his age.
His name was highlighted under the active on the pro football reference page. Yep.
So it counts. Impressive.
Impressive. By the way, the Broncos are going to win this game they got the ball back uh who fumbled or was a turnover on downs jeff wilson jeff wilson fumbled nathaniel hack is now two in one just got boys are smiling by his own player looks like a fight oh also that was a tough win for them and russ you know they the one time they needed offense all game they got it what happened with b enemy and Patrick Mahomes today do we ever get an update as to what they were they were yelling at each other about fiery guys fiery guys yeah that's that's the thing where they're gonna they're gonna circle the wagons just be like it wasn't an argument they're just two competitors that were frustrated one to win if I had to guess if I had to guess I would say thatAmi and Patrick Mahomes' relationship is probably not on the best terms right now because they got Littlefinger to quote Game of Thrones.
They got Littlefinger and Matt Nagy, who's now the assistant quarterback's coach in Kansas City. So he's probably ruined.
He probably is telling Patrick Mahomes, like, you should hear what Bien-Ami says to you about in the coaches' meetings.

Like, he motherfuckes you.

There's some shit going on.

Yeah, no, he definitely is ruined.

He will ruin that franchise from within.

Absolutely.

He probably called the fake punt or the fake field goal.

Yeah, he definitely did.

He has nothing to do with special teams, but he definitely did.

Okay, so Broncos officially win 11-10.

Not a score of Gami, but happy for Nathaniel Hackett. Easy under.
Prime time unders. Every game goes under now.
It sucks. Let's go to the next game.
I like how they asked Mike Shanahan who he was going to be rooting for tonight. And he was like, well, obviously my son.
Yeah. It's like, guys.
I'm pretty sure that my son. Wait.
Are you asking if I'm rooting for my son or the team that fired me? Yeah uh my son i'm gonna go with my son um but he can kind of he can kind of win either way right he can spin it he'd be like oh yeah the broncos that's nice that's my team uh ravens 37 patriots 26 let's have some guy talk shall we ah so i was sitting next to hank uh by the way if you're watching on YouTube right now, Hank did go to Rolling Loud.

You might see a sweatshirt or 17 bracelets he has. We have four concert bracelets.
Dude, was this week in a movie? That's so cool. It was a feature film.
Academy Award winner. Yeah.
Hank sat next to me all day. It's a great day.
Farted on me once. It was a looked he looked it was like a dog farting because he looked up and he's like oh shit i didn't expect that to be loud yeah he was like inches away from his ass he was trying to get away with one yeah when i posted that picture earlier today it was uh my be real where it was of me and big cat you were behind me and hank's butt was pointed towards.
Somebody replied to him. It was like, Hank better be careful pointing his asshole right at Big Cat.
Yeah, no. And, I mean, Nostradamus.
Yeah. I just looked and was like, did you just fart on me? He's like, sorry.
But anyway, I was sitting next to Hank all day. I heard his murmurs, his under-the-breath whispers.
There was some this-team-kind-of-stinks talk, and there was some this team kind of stinks talk and there was some he might not be the guy talk i never said that oh i mean we asked you basically after every throw we were like was that a guy throw hank and there were several where you're like ah maybe not maybe not anymore and then there were some where it was like oh maybe he's a guy now and this is again he's guy sexual he's going both ways right now sometimes he is sometimes he isn't i could see it a couple times there were throws where it was like, oh, maybe he's a guy now. And this is, again, he's bisexual.
He's going both ways right now. Sometimes he is, sometimes he isn't.
I could see it. A couple times there were throws where I was like, oh, that was real.
That's Mac Jones. But he had a few interceptions that weren't great.
He got hurt, which hopefully he's okay. We saw the picture.
Yeah, I don't think it's fair to even have this conversation until he's healthy. Oh, okay.
Oh, yeah. You want to disable it? Yeah, I don't think it's really just inconsiderate, in my opinion.
Yeah, you know, you should actually just refer to this injury if he ends up not being the guy. Just be like, this game ruined him.
This game, he was starting to be the guy, and then the Dirty Ravens came out there and just injured him. Yeah, what are you going to say, Billy? I think I called Zappi would start by the end of the season.
I barely Zappi, legend. But I don't think he is starting.
I think Brian Hoyer's starting. Yeah.
I said there would be some quarterback controversy. They have to play, I think their next game's at Lambeau, so they're probably like, hey, we don't want to have Bailey Zappi.
You have to go play his first game at Lambeau against that defense. But I feel bad for Brian Hoyer.
Like your job, you have the Chase Daniel job where for the longest time you're just collecting a paycheck. and nothing ever has to happen to you just kind of as long as you show up on time and then you you're not the first guy to leave the practice facility you essentially have a job until you're 40 years old now he actually has to play football and on I had a road game that's gonna be tough for him I feel bad for him I do too I do too but uh let me say this for Hank I don don't think that he's saying that mac jones isn't the guy i just know sitting next to him there are questions we were watching the bears and the patriots and we were kind of you know it was similar just a field i mean we'll get to that he's he stinks he stinks out loud yeah it's just different i mean i said it you know after game one it It's just different, especially watching the Bills and the Dolphins, two juggernaut teams that are going to be contending for championships like the Patriots are not there.
They don't look like they're there. What needs to change? Better coaching, better play calling.
Oh, wow. It is weird also.
They've had some all year. They had some crazy third down, third and short where they're just not even passing the ball past the line of scrimmage.
It also is weird watching the Patriots just shoot themselves in the foot. Interceptions, fumbles that you don't think of when you think of a Belichick.
If we had Jules in here, he'd be like, yeah, Belichick is probably puking all over himself because they can't take care of the football because it felt like that even when they were they had a chance it they were was it 31 26 and they were driving and there was a fumble off after that one and to talk about the ravens real quick lamar jackson's been incredible um his numbers against the blitz today he was nine for ten 110 yards 110 yards, 4 touchdowns. He just ripped them apart, and he did exactly what we were kind of criticizing him for last week in the Dolphins' comeback.
It's like a good team just gets the couple first downs, ices the game away. They got the ball up 31-26 on their own 27 with 5-28 left.
Lamar went seven plays, 73 yards for a touchdown, and he accounted for every single yard, passing or running. He was every single yard.
Pretty good. Every single yard.
And the game, it did that thing where the Ravens would take a considerable lead, then the Patriots would cut it to one score. So they're always kind of breathing down their neck for at least the second half.
And it showed a lot of guts for the Ravens to be able to go out there and do that in the second. Because they haven't always been able to do that, to hold teams off as they're coming from behind, especially because their defense kind of stinks.
Now I saw that I think it was a forced fumble by Hamilton, Kyle Hamilton from Notre Dame, the first-round guy. I admittedly haven't been watching any film on Kyle Hamilton, but I do know that he forced a fumble in the fourth quarter this game so as far as I'm concerned he was a great draft pick and that will stay in my mind until he does something in the playoffs well he and he needed that play because remember the uh last time we heard from Kyle Hamilton was the one-on-one drill that someone had videotaped from uh like fan night for the Ravens and he got burned, which duh, it's one-on-one receiver safety.
The receiver should win that. Every time.
Every time. And so everyone's like, damn, what a bust.
So this was good for him that he now has that washed away. He has a highlight.
Yeah, because that was my opinion of him from up until that moment. So when I'm watching a first-round pick that my team just acquires, I like to imagine as the season goes along, I do mental clip-outs of highlight plays, and I can start to put together in my own brain what their highlight reel is going to look like at the end of their rookie season.
So then I can go on YouTube and be like, Kyle Hamilton, rookie year highlights, and sit down and watch at least a couple sweet plays, big hits, to let bodies hit the floor as the soundtrack to it. Yes.
But, yeah, Lamar looks awesome. He's, I mean, I don't think the criticism – there is really no criticisms you could have of Lamar anymore outside of he hasn't won a Super Bowl.
He poops too much. Yeah, and he poops too much.
He hasn't won a Super Bowl. But, like, everything else, and he is going to make so much fucking money because this is a bet on yourself year.
Yeah. And the Ravens' defense is not great.
Like, there was another couple times this game where the Patriots don't have an explosive offense like the Dolphins. And it was a repeat of last week where it was like cornerbacks running, turning around, trying to figure out where they are as guys streak down the field.
So you know what I kind of got to do it all. So he's probably going to, if he does become a true free agent, then they're probably going to tag him after this year.
But as a true free agent, here's what I would do if I were Jeff Bezos. I would buy a team, name a team.
The Bears. Okay.
I would buy the Bears. I just walk up to the McCaskies and say hey listen old people here's 10 billion dollars i'm buying the bears they have to say yes to it right like nobody is turning down 10 billion dollars correct it doesn't matter to jeff bezos 10 billion dollars i'm buying the bears okay now i'm gonna give i'm gonna make lamar jackson offer for uh the richest contract in nfl history plus i'm gonna try to throw in like a tenth of a tenth of a percent of equity in the Bears.
Yes. And I'm just going to fuck up the entire process for everyone else because I'm the new guy in town.
I don't have to answer to all the owners. They might hate me, but so what? I'm so rich, I have fuck you money to people that have fuck you money.
Right. So I'm going to say fuck you because that's what you do with fuck you money.
Yes. Then you just get a great team instantly and you win a bunch of games.
That is the dream. That's what Jeff Bezos should do right now.
Yeah, and he is trying to buy the Suns, so he has officially reached, like, you're not just a nerd anymore and a weirdo that we can't trust. Yeah.
Because any rich guy to that level should have a pro sports team. But, yeah, I'm in for that.
That is my dream scenario. I've been thinking about, hey, Jeff Bezos, like you want to fucking spy on the world and like own us all and have the robots take us over.
Cool. I'm in for that.
Just give me a couple of winning bear season. Yeah, honestly, I would become the biggest whore for Amazon in history.
All you have to do is buy the commanders. You don't have to pay me any money.
I will. I will get rocks tattoo if you buy the washington dude you just have to go jeff bezos has to go fucking like 10 and 7 and i will on this podcast every fucking week just be like i don't think i don't think amazon like buying the uh roombas is that weird i don't think amazon uh buying all like the the home security systems is that weird i don't think amazon Amazon spying on all of our streetlights.
No, I think that's actually normal. They're just trying to get better at their jobs.
I will say that every week. They're trying to make my life easier by installing robot dogs in every police department across America.
Yeah, this is cool. Thank you.
I feel safer now, Jack. Ten and seven.
That's not too much to ask for. Just do it.
Just do it. I want 10 and 7.
Alright, so that's Ravens Patriots. Hank, emergency button, where we at? It's bad? No, I think you guys are being very insensitive until the injury, until Mac Jones is back healthy.
I don't think we can really, you know, make that decision. Don't speak on a man that might go under the knife.
Now, I did read that on his injury report, Hank. He sprained his ankle, and he got carried out by, like, three guys.
I think half the team carried him out. It was like Rudy.
And he was screaming and crying on the way to the locker room. What are your comments on that, on just the general look? You fractured your rib catching a football.
Yeah, I didn't need to be carried away. You had to go go to the doctor yeah but i wasn't crying i didn't miss a podcast broke your you broke your foot walking i didn't miss a podcast it's it's you know how much time did i miss well he hasn't missed a game yet yeah that's true that's a fair point well he did miss the end of the fourth quarter yeah i just think you're not being not being very sensitive and these are you know these are real human beings that are laying their laying their bodies on the line for for the sake of us and for our entertainment and you should respect that this was this will also be a very good um test of whether bill belichick uh has still got it and actually believes in mac jones because if he does he will just find whoever took that picture and have him killed because that that was a fucked up picture to have taken.
He looked like he was in a lot of pain. Someone got into a spot and like, I'm going to get this and put it out there.
So Bill Belichick has still got it. He finds that reporter and they're going to the gulag.
It did look like he was dead. And then when the injury report comes out.
It looked like someone took his internal organs out. Something't make sense you know you know what i would do if i were him and and they diagnosed me with like a high ankle sprain knowing that picture was out there i just i'd have the doctor come in and and do like kathy bates from misery with a sledgehammer just break just break it yeah just yeah just smash it before i before before anyone can see me in the media um Okay, before we get to the next game,

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so first order free delivery instacart super easy never get off your couch and miss any football action use instacart okay next up eagles commanders the three and oh eagles the best team in the National Football League.

E-A-G-L-E-S

Eagles. This game sucked.

This game made me question loving football. I love this game.
That's what the commanders will do to you. Fuck this team.
I have a straw update. Okay.
So last year, me and Big Cat went down to our last straws together on the commanders, you'll recall. Oh, yeah.
I also went down to my last straw. I lost my show so that's my update I have my straw I have my straw and uh get Carson Wentz fucking off my television forever I never want to watch he's so it's sad watching him play it's bad it's just sad and he got sacked I think five times uh hang on I have the stats right here it was no he was sacked nine it was just but but was sacked...
17 QB hits. He was sacked five times on his first eight dropbacks.
That's pretty bad. Got off to a bad start, and then somehow it got worse.
It was very sad watching the game, and the only thing... I just started focusing on the fact that we have a new mascot coming out, so I'm trying to determine if we want the hog, the pig, or the dog as our mascot.
That had to distract myself with today was bad but I have my straw I have scissors right here and that's so now this is okay smaller straw smaller straw have a smaller straw that's important update right now important straws half a straw left this team just sucks congratulations max the Eagles are good after the the game was over when jalen hurts was walking off the field this just made me feel like a loser again the eagles had their their security team walk over to the railings of fedex field and physically hold on to them so they wouldn't collapse onto jalen hurts as he was walking through the concourse that's just it's really rubbing it in. What a shitty franchise I have to root for every weekend.
Well, that's MVP Jalen Hurts because we should start that discussion, right, Max? Absolutely. I mean, listen, MVP Jalen Hurts.
Talk about a guy. Talk about a guy.
Talk about a guy. Talk about a guy.
Through three games, he's over 1,000 yards combined, seven touchdowns. I just looked it up.
So he's got 1,063 yards, seven touchdowns. Through three games for Lamar's MVP season, he had 1,035 yards, eight touchdowns.
So less yards, one more touchdown. Let's start talking about Jalen Hurts being MVP candidate Jalen Hurts.
At one point in the third quarter, the Eagles had 323 yards passing

and the Commanders had negative one.

The Eagles don't even have to play the second halves.

Like, they haven't had to, which is bad.

They should actually learn how to play offense

in the second half because they scored

all their points in the second quarter.

Yeah.

But, yeah, no, the Eagles are the real deal.

I think we all, a lot of people were talking about,

oh, the Commanders is a trap spot for the Eagles.

No, no, no.

You know, trap spot, Super Bowl contending

Philadelphia Eagles.

And it was just sad because they brought 36 buses down to Landover, Maryland today. They filled 36 buses of people in Philadelphia.
And that's not like the entire amount of people that came from Philadelphia. This was one company.
They were like, hey, putting together a package a travel package for people that want to go down to to fedex field how many people want to buy tickets for this 36 buses yep my parents were two of those my parents were hell yeah they were 36 fucking buses is just i mean and i'm not mad at philadelphia that i'm very very. It's just insane.
So that's probably what, like 3,000 people right there in one trip going down. So shout out to Philadelphia.
Great job. Bird gang showed up.
They were loud on the road. It was basically like a home game for them.
So, yeah, it was just it was it was a it was a bad day to be me watching football on television for the first four hours, and that's kind of how things have gone recently. But, yeah, I'm just kind of like I've reached a point where I'm getting numb to it again, which is about this time of year every year.
So that's how I feel about the Commanders. Can we talk about how good the Eagles are? Well, yeah, you've done that, and the Eagles are good.
I want to talk about how good the Eagles are. And I do give the Eagles credit.
Oh, the other thing that I'm excited about is Brian Robinson, a running back. He's probably the best player on our team right now, and he's got two gunshot wounds in his leg.
Yeah, but he's out there on the field beforehand. He's out there catching passes, running routes.
Saying it out loud makes me realize just what a bad state of affairs it is that that's that's our our number one guy right now yeah um okay so can we can we talk about the eagles yeah keep going well i haven't i haven't started devante smith is that was his coming out party like he was doing everything he was catching balls everyone's you know oh he's too small to play in the nfl he was fucking catching jump balls he He was doing it all. He had like eight catches, 160 yards or something.
He was awesome. A.J.
Brown. They have everything.
The Eagles have everything. They're incredible.
And I love them. D-line was eating.
Eating, dude. Eating.
I mean, I don't have any. My board's not looking so good right now, but that Eagles Super Bowl futures, I actually go to bed and I just stare at it.
I keep it on at night to keep me up. A little glow from that.
They had five sacks. Oh, it feels so good.
Five sacks in the first eight plays of the game, eight dropbacks of the game. You know how hard that is to do? How hard from both sides? Like credit to the Eagles.
Great job, Eagles. That's awesome.
You guys are eating, yes. But guess what? We're cooking.
We're serving you guys dinner i also i i actually feel bad for carson wentz because he he like was just under so much pressure all the time and i think his receivers already hate his guts like you could see it in the body language at the end of the game they were just like fuck this guy this sucks yeah he's this guy sucks they speak for all of us yeah yeah but uh But I still love him and I still believe in Carson. No.
Get him out. There was an interesting thing that happened earlier today, though.
Before this game, Schefter put out a report saying how the commanders tried to trade for Jimmy G. And they were going to get him at the combine.
Which would have been better. Until Jimmy G said, I'm going to have the surgery.
Talks fell apart. They got Carson Went wentz i just don't know about the timing of all this like it seems like it was put out there by somebody who's who's trying to get under carson's skin because carson's thing is like nobody wants me i'm nobody's first choice so like he's mad at the eagles for that then he's mad at the colts for that and then we got him and we told him that he was our first choice and then somebody puts out a report being like yeah they actually didn't want Carson at all right before he's going up against his old team that he's still mad at for not making him their guy yeah it just seemed like a really interesting time for it to come out now I'm not saying that there's anything like nefarious about it I think that Schefter just kind of squirrels away scoops in the offseason because he knew that this story was a thing back at the Combine.

And he just hides them and schedules them to write about over the course of the season so he can drip out old news that's new to us.

Yes.

And so I think this was maybe just a coincidence timing thing

that he said this on the same week that he was playing against the Eagles.

But still, it didn't help Carson Wentz's confidence when his confidence is as shaky as it can get. Definitely not.
Max, I'm reading the room right now. We'll talk about the Eagles later offline.
We'll just hype each other up offline. Yeah, no, it's bad.
I just think Carson Wentz probably has – he's one of those dudes that has a personality that, like, he can't fix it. He doesn't know why he's annoying, but he's really annoying to everyone.
Yeah yeah he just can't fix it he like he he's probably tried his wife is probably giving him tips he's

probably like trying to take classes on how to be a better teammate and he just can't do it i think

he just he needs to get an awesome dog i he probably has like if you don't think carson

once has like 17 fucking labradors and hunting dogs oh no that's the thing he probably does have

like 17 hunting dogs but they're always like a way being kindled somewhere for training for hunting

Oh, no, that's the thing. He probably does have like 17 hunting dogs, but they're always like a way being kindled somewhere for training for hunting.
He definitely has some labs too, dude. But his lab.
He takes pictures with his family. I feel like his labs are like trained to be working dogs and they're not like boopable tummy scratch dogs.
He definitely has a lot of dogs because he definitely, that's part of his plan. It's like if I get a dog, to me yeah it works trust me but i got leroy i don't think that's gonna work for even that doesn't even work for him yeah that's how bad his personality is carson wince um nice guy probably weird maybe weird guy i don't know for a fact that he's not a nice guy that's the nicest thing i can say about carson wince i actually probably would say he is a nice guy.
Again, there's something probably about him that just bothers people. Oh, yeah.
Look at this. I envisioned it in my head, and that's exactly what it looks like.
The three beautiful golden retrievers for his Christmas card. Carson Wentz is a dog guy.
He's tried that trick. It hasn't worked.
Those are beautiful dogs. Then be the first person on your to get like whatever the latest video game like get the first be the first one get golden eye yeah a new golden eye that's coming out and then make everybody come over one hang out with you right and then they'll just be like uh we we don't want to play video we don't like golden eye anymore he'll be like you want to stay for dinner yeah i gotta go yeah can i borrow can i just borrow the n64 i'll Yeah.
Yeah. While you eat dinner.
Wild stat for this game. Okay.
Last three undefeated teams in the NFL. Dolphins, Eagles, Giants.
January 8th, 2018. National Championship game for Alabama.
Tua was the Dolphins quarterback. Replaced Jalen Hurts on a TD pass that won the game on a play called by Brian Dable.
Brian Dable. Yeah.
Coach the Giants. 3-0.
Damn. Crazy.
I think it's wild. It's not crazy.
It was like, where does Daniel Jones fit in here? He was going like 6-5 at Duke. No.
Okay, that is wild. That's a wild stat.
All right, next game, Vikings-Lions. Just the perfect Lions loss and the perfect Kirk Cousins check down fast, and then he makes one big throw at the end, like a golfer hitting like a birdie on 18 and being like, yeah, that guy's a guy.

And yeah, he actually he didn't complete his first completion over 20 yards for the entire day was the game winning touchdown pass to KJ Osborne.

And if you watch this game with your two eyes, he was doing check down Kirk, and he was struggling, and Jared Goff was outplaying him. But the Lions did Lions things.
And Dan Campbell, after going, he went for six fourth downs today. He converted four out of six.
And then they get fourth and four on Minnesota 36 with a minute and 14 left. And he decided to kick a field goal miss the field goal vikings go and score and win the game afterwards he said i freaking i freaking regret my decision there at the end yeah which i like the freaking so it's a it was a 54 yard field goal that they tried they miss that ended up costing them the game i think dan dan campbell you should just go for those like yeah Big Cat said you went four for six on fourth downs.
Just go for those because you're in, like, a great position this year where nobody really cares if you win that many games. No one cares if you win.
You know, you're probably going to end up going somewhere between, like, three and eight wins this year, and nobody really cares as long as your team keeps showing improvement. You're in a position where you can just go for it.
You it every time and as long as you you stay aggressive you'll be good you're right though this was the ultimate kirk cousins game i've figured out the kirk cousins life cycle if you're looking at you know the circle of life and how it goes around and how we look at kirk cousins this is the naturally beat the lions at 1 p.m game yeah make people be like oh kirk cousins he's okay a game-winning touchdown in the game with the minute left. So it goes beat the lines at 1 p.m.
game yeah make people be like oh kirk cousins he's okay

game-winning touchdown in the minute left so it goes beat the lines at 1 p.m. next is probably almost beat a really good team at 4 p.m.
that's next up yeah like uh go play the rams or something yeah go play the rams and go duel with matthew staff and then maybe your your defense gives up a late touchdown or something. You almost beat the Rams.
Next up, you have mow your lawn because he's probably like a big home dad guy, probably mows his own lawn. Next up, I'm going to go with beat a good team at 4 p.m.
And then next up, we have get blown out in primetime. And then after that, beat the Lions again.
That's the life cycle kirk cousins it's i'm i'm completely uh secure i know the kirk cousins defenders will come after us they always do they always have their stats and like he's the guy and they always just be like well he's better than any bears quarterback ever that's such a low bar and it's not even an insult it's like yeah of course he is he still is kirk cousins and he still, when shit goes wrong, will just be staring at his offensive lineman's ass and doing check down after check down. But he won the game, so I'm going to give him credit.
And he is better than, I don't know, 16 other quarterbacks probably? I don't know. I don't know where he is.
No, that's exactly right. He's 16.
He's 15. And when he's bad, he's 16.
Also, the Lions blew 10-point leads twice in this game. It's kind of tough to do.
But again, like, spin zone for the Lions, you're good enough to get a 10-point lead twice against the Vikings. It was brutal, though, because Dan Campbell, like, the one thing he can't do is he was being himself.
He was being aggressive. So they went on fourth down twice on one touchdown drive they went for it on a fourth and five on a different touchdown drive so like i said they were going for it they were being aggressive and then you get to that point and you're like dude just do what you've been doing go for it win this game right now and he just reverted into like a coach that uh plays scared and it it sucks so you could see in his face after he's like i don't know what the fuck i was doing i freaking hate it he said i freaking hate it for these guys and and jared actually said afterwards he's like i i trust my coach but i actually probably should have campaigned for us because he if i had a little bit harder he probably would have left us out on the field so yeah i mean that happens a lot with lot when you see Harbaugh and Lamar Jackson.
He always asks Lamar, do you want to go for it? And I think Harbaugh just asked Lamar that, hoping that he will say yes every time. Sometimes the coach just wants to be talked into being aggressive because then afterwards it's easier for them to be like, yeah, you know, I got together with Jared and we wanted to go for it, so we went for it.
You kind of spread the blame around for both being too aggressive which i think if you're the lines you can afford to do that you can be aggressive all the time and so like even the onside kick stuff that he does sometimes yeah i don't mind any of that like you're you're just trying to change the direction of a franchise just go ahead do all the aggressive stuff try the weird stuff that maybe the stat people tell you not to like experiment really get out there with football really explore the football field yes yes so i i still think the lions are like they they're maybe good they're they're above frisky for me and i think they're good i think they're goodish and yeah and the vikings are a good team but i we all know where they'll end up like that's that's the thing is that that's what would drive me nuts. And I think there are some Vikings fans that are definitely in this camp.
What I'm about to say is they are good enough to give you some good wins, give you some happiness, but you know, the ending to this movie, you've seen the movie, you know, exactly how it ends. You're if you're a Vikings fan, the good guys, your own team doesn't win.
They don't win in the end. I think I'd rather be perpetually disappointed with zero expectations than have an outside chance of being great and never getting close to it.
Yeah, because you can convince yourself if you're a Vikings fan, like if a couple guys get injured on other teams and things break our way and Kirk plays the game of his life in the divisional round and then the defense stands up in the championship game then boom we're in the fucking super bowl but come on we all know we know what's gonna happen we know and we know we know and they're again they're they're a pretty good team but it's still kirk cousins yeah they're goodish yeah they're goodish um all right next up bears 23 texans 20 uh justin fields he's bad. I'll just say it.
He's bad. And actually, I don't even have to say it myself because he said it.
He said he played like ass. He played like trash.
So he actually was able to take the words out of my mouth and just do it for me. Yeah, that's a problem.
That's a 2-1 team that is – I actually think – remember the year when they started 3-0 and I was like, I'm not going to apologize? I will apologize for 2-1. This is a bad 2-1 Bears team.
I don't know how they're 2-1, to be honest with you. There was a game against San Francisco, which was in the rain.
And the Texans aren't that good. And the Bears don't really have a quarterback.
And I don't mean like, is Justin Fields good? I mean, they're not really using him like a quarterback. They're using him.
You guys have installed the Taysom Hill offense for Justin Fields. So the Bears through three weeks have completed 23 passes.
Through three weeks they've completed. Max, I don't appreciate this laughing that you're doing.
That's not nice. Pardon me, it's Philly Dan this year for my Eagles.
That's really fucked up up he's just giggling to himself 23 completed passes that hasn't been done since 1978 the tampa bay buccaneers that completed 21 passes in the first three weeks here's where this stack gets really really morbid and sad i looked it up 1978 tampa bay buccaneers uh they had like a weird three-man rotation of quarterbacks in those first three weeks but one of them was a guy named Gary Huff who was a failed Bears quarterback before he was a Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback and for the Bears he was 5-17 with 12 touchdowns and 34 interceptions so it's like history is just in a sick fucking way repeating itself where there's a terrible Bears quarterback link to this abysmal stat of a lack of completions through three games, and then you fast forward to today, and Justin Fields has 23 completions through three games. It's shocking.
And he is. Here's what really hurts.
I'm going to get real for a sec. I think he's actually taken over for the Josh Rosen stat line.
And it hurts so bad. It's not as bad.
8 for 17 for 160 yards? It's not as bad. It's 106 yards.
106 yards and two interceptions. That's really bad.
It's pretty bad. 8 for 17.
Josh Rosen, I would say, you're in the neighborhood. I would say Josh Rosen would be like nine for 20 for 99 yards.
Yeah. And he did also have like 50 yards rushing.
He had one six scramble. He did.
He does do those six scrambles. He's like, oh, cool.
But he maybe he is a nice guy. I'm rooting for him still.
I'm not going to give up, but it's been a disaster year two when it's supposed to be getting better. And, yes, there will be people who are like, he doesn't have a great offensive line.
I think it's actually better than people give it credit for because they can run the ball. He does not have weapons, but there's still just like a lack of vision and just anticipation, all these things.
You have cap space, though. We do have cap space.
We have cap space coming. We should use it all on Roquan Smith because he basically won this game.
He was all over the field. He had 16 tackles and an interception just fucking exploding on dudes.
And Khalil Herbert, shout out our good friend Tom Fernelli. Hank, you might have had this take, but Tom just, like, will text constantly about the Bears, and he has been saying for a year and a half that Khalil Herbert is a better fit for this system than David Montgomery.
So today was his day because David Montgomery, unfortunately, got hurt, and Khalil Herbert was insane. 150 yards, crazy two touchdowns.
Texans are bad. Bears are bad.
Justin Fields is making me sad. There's a summary.
That's about it. That's it.
That's a perfect ending. I don't really have anything else to contribute about this game because it wasn't on the Red Zone channel ever.
No, we had it on the quad box. We had it on the quad box.
Yeah. And I think they mercifully even just cut out the feed a couple times and wouldn't even show that to us.
Yeah, shout out to me. I was like, listen to watch this game i'm gonna i'm gonna figure out a way to put it on the quad box so i can just squint at it and hope that i can you know see something that i like and i didn't see anything i liked they won the game they're two and one i apologize for two and one justin fields again has made me gary huff we're talking about fucking Gary Huff.
23 passes completed in three weeks.

That is so hard to do.

It's very difficult.

That's insane.

23 passes and three.

They're averaging.

What would that be like?

Seven point.

Seven point three, three, three completions per game.

It's that is that is the Taysom Hill offense.

I'm pretty sure Tim Tebow had those type of stats when he was playing.'s it's a complete complete catastrophe i'm just looking it up uh yeah jimmy g who played not great tonight had 18 in one game russ who didn't play well night had 20 in one game it's hard it's hard not to complete it's hard not it's hard to have incompletions in today's nfl everyone completes passes that's's all they do, except the Bears. All right, let's do a quick word from one of our sponsors, then we'll get to a couple more games.
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Okay. Titans Raiders.
Good job by the Titans. This was such a Vrabel game.
The Titans are never going to be as bad as everyone writes them to be because Mike Vrabel is such a good coach. And the Raiders are the only 0-3 team in the NFL.
So I think the Raiders might be one of the better 0-3 teams that we've seen in a while, though. They're the only one.
They were beating the Cardinals pretty handily last week. Yeah.
And they were competitive in this game. Well, I actually have a fun stat.
I don't think they're as bad as three and oh implies they are but they're certainly not good i have a fun stat

this is uh done by myself so this is my own if i did the math wrong whatever forgive me i'm not a

math guy so i was thinking about it because the raiders uh in their three games they have just

decided to play a great half and a terrible half that's it's literally been the mo they started

week one they played a terrible half against the chargers second half they tried to come back

Thank you. They have just decided to play a great half and a terrible half.
That's it's literally been the M.O. They started week one.
They played a terrible half against the Chargers. Second half.
They tried to come back fell short week to played an insanely good half against the Cardinals in the first half. Just shit the bed in the second half this week.
Same thing. The Titans kick their ass in the first half.
The Raiders tried to come back end up losing because they can't get a two point conversion. So if you take the bad half Raiders, they played three games, so six halves total.

If you take the bad half Raiders, so half of those halves, right?

Three halves.

Three halves total.

If you take half of their halves. Yes.

They are outscoring their opponents 70-16.

If you take, or sorry, yeah, that's the bad half Raiders. They're, they're getting outscored 70 to 16, the bad half Raiders.
And if you take the good half Raiders, they're outscoring their opponents 48 to seven. That's how lopsided it is.
Yeah. It's just basically they decide one half they're going to play well.
And the other half, they're going to suck. You don't know which half it's going to be.
And it ends up with Oh, and three. This game looked like just eyeball test.
It just looked like the Titans kind of kicked their ass. Well, in the beginning.
Yeah. They just looked like a tougher team.
Even, even when the Raiders were playing well, I was still thinking to myself, like the Titans are, they're just beating the shit out of the, out of the Raiders right now. Just like from a physical standpoint.
And that's what, I think that's what Mike variable does when his back's against the wall. He's like, let's just get into a fight.
Let's just fight in between the whistles out there and try to win the game. But they shut him out.
The Raiders shut him out the second half. They just can't figure out how to play a full game.
It's crazy. It's crazy to watch.
So I'm looking at the box score right here. 24-22.
I'm trying to look at the second half split in terms of like the play calling for the yeah well it's not through a pick he fumbled it also felt like they were just they were trying to bleed the clock out in the second half a lot just like taking they were kind of taking their foot off the gas but just in a way where they're like we're just going to dedicate ourselves to just like beating you up up front and just like get our guys going downhill. But they actually were playing poorly.
Like, the Titans were playing poorly in the second half. Tannehill was beating Tannehill.
Yeah. The Raiders were scratching and clawing.
Matt Collins, shout out Matt Collins, looked awesome. He's actually been awesome to start the season.
But, yeah, the Raiders just can't. They're Jekyll and Hyde in every single game.
So Josh Jacobs wasn't supposed to play. I think he – didn't Josh Jacobs, like, force himself upon the Raiders? I'm pretty sure he flew in separately.
Yeah. It was like, yeah, I'm going to play.
I'm going to play. Even though you might not want me to right now, I'm going to play.
So Josh McDaniels, do you think that he is – is he, like, is he feeling that pressure? I don't know, dude. I don't think I've ever seen anything like it.
Again, I know I kind of – we're getting later in the show, so I kind of was probably all over the place with my stats and research, but I'll just say it again. I get it.
They have – they're being outscored 70-16 in their bad halves, and they're outscoring their opponents 48-7 in their good halves. And it's exactly 3-3.
Now that break down by quarter that's that's the next math that we have to figure out yeah but they yeah they're they're and and i just want to say something to all the sickos out there because i saw a few people tweeting this um people really want to see me lose the tip of my pinky because i'm getting people being like you're a pussy for choosing the oh and three raiders i chose the2 Raiders. Those are the rules.
It's not my fault they suck. And all they have to do is combine halves.
Yeah. If they could just put two halves together, they would be incredible.
Well, statistically speaking, they should be 1-1-1 right now with those halves. Correct.
Yeah. They absolutely should be.
They're playing pretty much all their opponents exactly even. They just need to consolidate their shitty halves more than anything.
Right. They have one bad game, then one great game.
Yeah, that's what normal teams do. You just don't show up occasionally.
Right. And it's weird that they've done it both ways now, where they've come out slow and then tried to get back, and then they've also come out fast and then just completely shit the bed.
I think they're going to win next week against the Broncos

because the Broncos, they play no good halves ever.

Yeah, that's true.

So even when they win, they suck.

Yes.

So as long as you can get one good half, you'll win.

You'll have one good half to their zero good halves, and that should win.

Right.

If you can just beat them by enough in your one good half,

in your bad half, you should be able to hold them off yes yeah because like they're going to score what 13 points max and they're in their best half i was gonna say like they're gonna score like it's got to be a weird number it's got they're gonna score nine point eight points maybe yeah yeah five points they scored five points maybe all the weird shit that used to happen to the seahawks the time. That was just weird shit happening to Russell Wilson.
Yeah. Yeah.
And he's just a weird guy. He just brought it with him to the Broncos.
I agree. Here's a fun stat to finish this game.
Devontae Adams has caught a TD from Derek Carr in the last 12 straight games they've played together. Dating back to Fresno.
That is a fun stat. That's pretty cool.
That's a very fun stat. I got a question.
I haven't seen any players having babies recently. What's up with that? I feel like last year they were getting popped out left and right, left and right.
We were having a baby touchdown palooza every week. It was like we know who we're betting on because somebody just gave birth.
So that guy's catching a touchdown. Maybe people are just waiting for Max Homa to have his kid, that fuckingvert yeah just out of respect when's the next full moon they're telling you they're telling otherwise like hold that baby in max hasn't had his yet yeah we had a warm january oh there we go oh okay the warm is that farmer's almanac is that a good that should be more fucking uh more storms more being inside more fucking more babies more fucking so it's too warm But why aren't the babies showing up? Because we had a warm January Not as many storms Yeah that's what you're saying Outside But wouldn't also a warm January be like People are out fucking? Well you meet new people You can't fuck outside No but you can You could You meet people out You know out of the bar and stuff I think the issue is is that pre-existing couples aren't getting snowed in.
Got it. Not having enough sex.
Also, nine months ago today was Christmas Day. I feel like I'm not on Celebrate Christmas.
But yeah, there's other things at the top of the priority list. What about during Hanukkah? I mean, Hanukkah is a week long.
Yeah, a week long, so people probably aren't having that much sex during Hanukkah. Maybe, but Hanukkah was usually earlier.
Yeah, I feel like I actually, like, anecdotally speaking, don't know that many people that were born, like, in, like, late September, October. Yeah, but it would make sense.
I am. Jake, oh, yeah, Jake, wait.
We don't know each other. Wait, today's Jake's birthday, isn't it? Monday? Monday, yeah.
Oh, shit. Happy birthday, Jake birthday, Jake.
Look at you. We did this whole thing just so you could get that out.
Promo code Jake. God damn it.
Promo code Jake. 10% off.
Yes. That would be my dream come true.
Did you plan your birthday to be during Merchapalooza? That's my birthday wish. To win Merchapalooza.
Yeah. All right.
Yeah, make Jake happy for his birthday. Yeah.
Yeah, no, I do think that less people have sex in December and January. You're going to donate money.
Yeah. Stress being probably you're more drunk and so you're not getting it up as easy it's a whole thing alright so Jake happy birthday everyone wish Jake happy birthday I want to see everyone buy 10% off use promo code Jake happy birthday Billy we know when your birthday is don't try to fucking lie and say your birthday is Tuesday.
I never was going to do that. Promo code Billy.
I'm still hanging in there. I mean, with everything that's going on, me still being in the top three and Hank designing something for him to win himself with a new merch launch during it and not being able to get ahead of me.
That's a great point. Just saying he created the competition with the plans of releasing the new Car car stick 3.0, which you can use code Billy to buy on the Barstool store.
I mean, everything you just said is a lot, but that's all right. You've been burning bridges this entire competition.
You're going to continue to do so, and you're going to come short. It's fine.
I was just thinking about, while they're having this conversation, Big Cat, I was just thinking about Russell Wilson, and maybe it was him being problem the entire time. But maybe it wasn't because...
Isn't it weird to you that Nathaniel Hackett was chosen after... He was chosen after Russell Wilson.
No, he was chosen to get Aaron Rodgers there. They didn't get Aaron.
Yeah, yeah. They brought Russell Wilson in.
They paid him a shitload of money. And then he's not really giving him the ball that much and letting him throw that much.
Well, he threw a decent – he threw like 33 times. But in clutch situations, they're handing the ball off.
Yeah. So do you think that his ownership going to get mad at Nathaniel Hackett for wasting their money? No, I think he's going to – I think every coach that Russell Wilson has is like, oh, we should maybe throw the – we should run the ball a little bit here.
That's probably better. Just because they hate him.
Yeah. Maybe the coaches hate Russell – the coaches hate Russell Wilson too, so they won't let him throw the ball.
Yeah, yeah. Got it.
Yeah, I mean, he's gotten a chance to throw it. Last thing about the Titans and Raiders, I know this sounds crazy because we still got to talk about the Jags who look great Titans plus 260 to win the AFC South right now like that I don't think the Titans are good but it's Mike Vrabel and you never know you know what I mean they'll win some of these games they're not far off right and they'll just win some of these games and they'll hang around and they'll hang around and they'll definitely have one of those like you can look at the Titans schedule and you can probably pick out what game will they just shock everyone and everyone be like, should we start taking the Titans for real? Look, November 6th.
Six at the Chiefs. Chiefs.
Boom. They're probably going to win.
Done. Or November 17th against the Packers.
They'll win one of those two games. Maybe at the Eagles.
Yeah, and everyone will be like, oh shit. No.
Eagles aren't losing. I actually agree.
I think the Eagles are going to have a perfect season. Perfect season, Philadelphia.
Congratulations. No, you can't do this.
Now you want to talk about the Eagles? No, you can do it. No, I'm just saying grease up the land poles right now in advance.
I think that you guys got this. Alright, let's do next game.
Bengals, Jets. Are the Bengals back? The Bengals are most definitely back.

Well, they play the Jets. Well, Joe Flacco, again, went out there.
I think he attempted 52 passes this time. He's leading the league in attempts with 155 attempts in three games.
That's like an entire season of Bears attempts. That's torture.
That's insane. That's torture for Joe Flacco.
They're trying to kill the man out there. Do you know that he's actually thrown for 200-plus yards for the first time in four consecutive games?

For the first time in his career.

Yeah.

That's crazy.

Yeah.

Joe Flacco's peaking at the right time.

Yeah, he's betting on himself.

Again, back up the truck.

I was going to make the take during the Eagles-Commanders discussion

that Carson Wentz leads the league in throws where there's no ball in his hand i think joe flacco does where he gets stripped and he just keeps on going with the motion he's like what the fuck he he was getting stripped left and right today i think i think carson wentz leads the league and like accidentally backwards thrown passes yeah that too yes um so joe flacco he is on pace right now for the most attempts of all time in a season. If he keeps this up, he probably won't because my guess is they'll probably put Zach Wilson back in.
I think he's healthy. Possibly coming back this week.
Yeah, so I saw some people like wondering that aloud. Zach Wilson will be the quarterback moving forward from this point on for the New York Jets.
Yes. Billy, not great.

Yeah, offense wasn't looking too good, but Bengals had a really good defense.

The Bengals did play great defense.

They also, like Joe Burrow, did exactly what you need to do if you're an 0-2 team with

Super Bowl expectations.

He came out and was just on fire in the first quarter.

I think it was like 130 yards, two touchdowns, and that was kind of all she wrote. actually, that's all they needed.
They obviously scored more, but that is all they did need. With the offense, not scoring a touchdown, holding the Bengals at 27 points.
It's kind of a win in my book. You got to take holding them to 27 points.
I mean, if you think of the offensive breakdown of how much offense the Bengals could play. Right.
And how many points we kept them to. Okay.
You just got to take the small W. Like for plays, likes.
Like points per play? What's that metric, I wonder? I'll check it out. What about Big W for you earlier this week when your guy, the T-man, Trump, said that he called Robert Salah and said you're better than Vince Lombardi? Yeah, I mean...
That was huge. That was a huge moment.
Talent respects talent. Yeah Yeah that's a fact He's better than Vince Lombardi Vince Lombardi never did that He never beat the Browns down 13 with a minute half left Some people would say that had something to do with the fact that Woody Johnson is the owner of the New York Jets Who was also like his biggest contributor To the point where he was named Ambassador to Ireland.
I'm telling you, I'm saying it's hearsay. There's absolutely no evidence to back that up.
It's about how amazing the Jets are and the direction they're going. I mean, we can put all these games in the rearview mirror.
We got our win against the Browns. Flacco got us one.
So it's now Zach Wilson's going to step into the driver's seat, and we're going to have an amazing rest of the season. Who you guys got next? Let me check.
I think it's a home game. Here's my problem with Robert Salah.
I still can't. I don't know what his name actually is because Billy's warped my brain.
Pittsburgh. At Pittsburgh.
You could win that game. Yeah.
His head is too shiny. Did you see in his press conference? It's way too shiny.
I think he should get a toupee. I think that would change the mojo of this team.
Or put makeup on his head so it doesn't shine. Wear a hat.
I don't know. But he's got a shiny-ass head, and his team stinks.
Look how shiny his head looks, PFT. Look at this.
I would almost. You ever seen a head that's shiny? I've seen it.
Look at that. I've seen conferences.
I think he gets done dirty by the lighting staff. That's shiny.
I think the lighting staff, they should maybe add a little green tint to it to enhance the Jets' flavor to the entire room. Because that right there, that's just a spotlight shining directly onto the man's head.
Yes. Quinn and Williams got into it with the defensive line coach on the sideline.
Yep. Turns out after the touchdown catch by T.
Higgins, I think,

they rushed eight guys, and Quinn Williams thought he could do with four,

and then they didn't rush eight guys for the rest of the game.

So he got his point across.

Let me guess.

That was just iron sharpens iron.

Exactly.

Guys arguing.

Here's another spin zone for you.

The Jets kind of dropped two touchdown passes today.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So they could have had 16 more points.

Yeah.

And then guess what? That's a W. Yeah.
Exactly. exactly that's true um flacco played good enough to win this game the uh the bengals i this is why we were talking them up on friday they only gave up two sacks because the jets don't have michael parsons or tj watt i don't know thursday night will be very interesting because that's a game like if the bengals win game, then I'm like, okay, it feels like they've got things back on track.

I fully expect them to win this game, which they do deserve credit for winning the way

they did.

Points, points.

They killed.

Listen, Thursday night, I think it's going to be another points fest.

I'm very excited for it.

I hope so.

Tyler Boyd had another great game.

T Higgins.

I actually think they might have the best receiving core in the NFL. boyd higgins jamar chase as their top three that's pretty good yeah i'm trying to think because we always we suck at this i know whenever we do the spot like rank them devontae smith a.j brown there's a two that's two okay but that's who's the tight end.
Is Jeremy Macklin still on the Eagles?

Quez Watkins.

Quez Watkins, huge.

What about the Chargers went healthy?

What about the Dolphins?

Chargers went healthy, yes.

What about the Dolphins, too?

Tyreek and Jalen Waddle.

I was thinking top three.

Yeah, no, who's the third?

Palmer's been good.

Who cares?

It doesn't really matter.

No, but who's the third on the Dolphins?

You could throw in any name, and you have Tyreek and Jalen Waddle.

I'd say one through three, top to bottom. Aver averagely I would say the Bengals are up there yeah I probably would take the Dolphins for depth that's probably the Bengals but top heavy Dolphins and then I saw some people I don't know how much stock to put in this because I think Ken Jack brought this up but he said that there was a discourse there's and I discourses, there was a discourse about whether or not the Bengals screwed up by drafting Jamar Chase instead of Sewell after the first two games of the season when Joe Burrow was getting hit left and right.
I'd just like to say for the record, the Cincinnati Bengals got to the Super Bowl last year in large part because they did draft Jamar Chase. That's about as big a hit as you can have.
So I'm going to say I'm going to do a redraft real quick in my brain. Yep, they made the right decision by drafting Jamar Chase.
Yeah, yeah, I'd agree. Okay, I'm just making sure because these are the discussions we have that always people are like, what the fuck? Cedric Wilson would be the third for the Dolphins.
He's pretty good. And then we should also throw in the fact that Mike Evans, Chris Godwin, and Julio Jones went healthy.
Well, has Julio Jones even played? Yeah, he played week one. Oh, yeah, that's right.
He had like 70 yards. He actually made a sick catch.
So, yeah. There's some good...
They're definitely in the... They're either one or two depending on, you know, your flavor of the week.
Oh, here we go. I just literally Googled it.
Tier one elite on Pro Football Focus. Ever heard of it? Number 1, Cincinnati Bengals.
Yeah. Yeah.
So, yeah, they are. I just know we always do that.
We always fuck that up. Yeah, we always.
We always fuck that up, and everyone's like, dude, how could you not mention this team? It's like, I don't know. It's 1 in the morning.
We're just listing shit off the top of our heads. Low-key, high-key, the Raiders have a pretty good receiving quartet.
Yeah, they do. Renfro, Devontae Adams.
And then the third guy. Demarcus Robinson? Deshaun Jackson.
Matt Collins. No, Matt Collins.
But is Demarcus Robinson on the Raiders? If I got that, I'm very happy with myself. Okay.
Is he? Is he? Ravens. Ravens.
Shit. Was he on the Raiders? No.
I think he went Chiefs straight to the Ravens. He did? Yeah, I think so.
Damn it. Wait.
Yes. He went on the Raiders for a minute.
He was there for a second. Yeah, he was on the Raiders for a minute.
And then he got traded, right? Okay. This has been talking wide receivers for no reason.
I of my take at 1am let's go to the next game yeah he was oh he was released august 16th 2022 by the raiders so maybe not good in the trio when they released them okay uh next up panthers saints panthers 22 saints 14 panthers get their first win of season. Their offense still stinks.
Their defense looked awesome. I'm worried about Jameis.
Also, Matt Rule. You're on the hot seat officially because David Tepper had Ian Rappaport make an announcement for him before the games on Sunday.
I love the insider making the announcement because they need something to talk about on all these pregame shows. And he said, Ian Rapport reported that David Tepper, owner of the Panthers, plans to be patient with Matt Rule.
That is the most red flag, you're fucked, dude, thing of all time. Yep, that means you're fired.
That means you're dead. The Panthers, though, do have one of the most impressive streaks in sports going right now.
They haven't allowed a touchdown on the opening drive in 20 games. I believe that's the longest in NFL history.
That's huge. That's crazy.
So make sure to live bet right after kickoff. Why aren't we, by the way, we talked about on Friday the 17 points.
Why aren't we just parlaying every single week the Panthers and the other teams team total under and then just doing the reverse yes it's unbelievable like that would hit every time right yeah um a bad trend for our good friend jamis is that he has uh five interceptions in his last two fourth quarters he's got a broken back four broken backs but he does not look good his offense looks bad

his broken back is four times worse than two is yeah it's it's um it's a cause for concern i don't

really the saints and it feels like one of those situations where uh their defense is really good

and the defense is at some point gonna be like what the fuck are we doing this for

because our offense sucks there yeah the offense isn't even well i james is going to get better

He's going to get better because Big Cat, he has not even yet begun to train. Once his trainer gets back with him, I'm sure that's what's been happening for like the last two weeks.
His trainer hasn't had time to train Jameis because he's just been coming up with the craziest fucking exercises to heal four broken back vertebraes. Four vertebraes.
So he's going to come out here with some shit that you haven't seen since like the ancient Egyptians. Yeah.
He's going to have like a pit viper, an asp, biting Jameis in his throwing arm, trying to like send some of the numbing agents up into his nerves. He's going to have some crazy shit ready and everything's going to be fine.
Jameis will be good. I wouldn't be shocked if Jameis' trainer just starts training Jameis nerves he's gonna have some crazy shit ready and everything's gonna be fine i would james will be good i wouldn't be shocked if james's trainer just starts training james like he's an actual paralyzed person like you you actually see james doing videos where he's in like one of those slings on the treadmill trying to learn how to walk again he's holding on to both rail yeah james is like dude i actually know how to walk like i'm i'm i've been playing in these games he's like is how we have to train now.
Yeah. And he's just teaching them how to walk again, even though he can fully walk.
They'll have James wearing one of those halos around his head with the connector things to his shoulders. Right.
And then he'll just walk on the field every week, take that off and play football and then put it back on. They'll probably even have him putting that thing on, like on the sidelines when their team is on defense.
It's bad though the for the for the saints um also shout out matt rule he said afterwards uh the plan today was on defense was to let it rip and they blitzed the fuck out of them and their defense won that game because baker was still not great no baxter mccaffrey was christian mccaffrey let's say this some say something nice about the panthers there's multiple times i looked at the screen and christian m McCaffrey was just running free down the field. Yeah.
I mean, he's still very good when he's healthy. And then Baker, I think, would have had, I want to say he would have had like 80 yards passing total on the day if it wasn't for LaVisca Chenault.
Yep. I think he was more.
LaVisca Chenault had that one nice, it was almost like a screen that he broke down the field for like 70 yards. Yes.
And that difference in the game right there that along with the defense that i think created a couple turnovers but um yeah they stayed court they got a scoop and score but they they won a very boring football game and sometimes sometimes i almost feel like the players lose focus during boring football games because they get bored too yeah the panthers today got less bored than the saints did and they won the game yes that's exactly right so uh i don't know who the saints play next who do they play who's next let's do a quick whose line is it anyway because i don't know london game oh oh the london we're taking the against vikings 9 30 a.m vikings wait now is this is this an awesome kurt cousins game because he's going to have so few people watching it because it's early in the morning? I'm going to say Vikings minus four and a half. It's like the opposite of prime time for him.
It is Vikings minus three. Ooh.
I kind of like the Vikings. I do too.
I just gave you my advanced analytics. I have them winning by four and a half.
That's a one and a half point edge. I like the fact that it's in England.
It's way before anybody's awake here in the United States. The Londoners, 44 and a half.
Okay. Yeah, I like that too.
Saints defense is good. Their offense fucking sucks.
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Okay, afternoon games. Jaguars 38, Chargers 10.
I was thinking about this. Do you think when Trevor Lawrence is doing his acceptance speech in Canton, do you think he thinks Urban Meyer being like, you taught me what rock bottom looked like.
You taught me how difficult this job could be.

And everything since then has just been the easiest thing ever.

And that's why I won four Super Bowls and had five MVPs for the Jacksonville Jaguars.

It's you, Urban Meyer, who did this for me. I think he brings in Urban to give his introduction speech, knowing that if Urban introduces him, everyone's going to absolutely thank God that Trevor Lawrence took over the mic and they don't have to listen to Urban Meyer talk anymore.
Yes. That would be a nice way to do it.
I do think that Urban Meyer maybe instilled his winning spirit and his fight into Trevor. We shouldn't discount what he's taught him.
No, he just says, this is as bad as it will possibly be. I think that- Everything will be easy.
I think we need to give Urban Meyer't discount what he's taught him no he's just like you can't this is as bad as it will possibly i think that everything will be easy i think we need to give urban meyer credit for what he did teach trevor in the brief period he taught him so well in the first what eight weeks that he was in town that there was no need for him to finish out the first season he already passed along all the lessons to him and i'm gonna say it right now trevor lawrence is a guy so i say i would like to apologize to yeah you're very wrong i would like to apologize to him um now you've said some things about trevor lawrence too it's not as you not just me stink not he did well he has stunk in the past today he looked he looked very very good but he's been good this season he's been good this season outside of the first game of the season where he had some some head scratchers a couple doy doys here uh He's only thrown one pick this year. He had some head scratchers, some doidoys, some missed open guys in the field.
But I do think that he's obviously was very, very good today. And I think not just that, the Jaguars are good.
The team around him, I think the Jaguars might be good. No, I think they are good.
And Doug Peterson deserves a lot of credit. And I know the Chargers were very banged up.
I still don't know what Brandon Staley was doing having Justin Herbert out there when they were down 28 with like five minutes left. They lost Bosa in the game.
Rashawn Slater, I hope, doesn't have a torn bicep, but he had a bicep injury and he's uh one of the

best left tackles in the game so the charges were decimated but I don't think it matters the Jaguars were the better team from the beginning of this game to the end it was never even close and uh yeah I think Trevor Lawrence like his numbers this year he's six touchdowns one interception 70% completion percentage

772 yards

he's good

and the wild stat, Jake, we talked about it Friday, Trevor Lawrence and Peyton Manning both started 0-9 on the road in their career. They both won their 10th road game week three against the Chargers.
Wild. That is wild.
That is wild. is wild also this is crazy the jaguars had lost 18 straight games on the road right before today that's so long that's a long time and then i think the one that we talked about was they were something like three and 14 or three and 17 um on the west coast yep and they're like last 20 games so i i do think that the jaguars are good because they just in all facets of the game look competent today.
Yeah. Which is weird.
You usually expect them to do something to shoot themselves in the foot. They looked really, really good today.
Offense, defense, special teams. Yeah.
Devin Lloyd, their 27th pick this year had an interception. He's been all over the place.
Josh Allen, the other Joshosh allen he's actually second in the league right now

in josh allen's in qb yeah josh allen's but also in qb pressures like he's he's the real deal i the jaguars are good yeah the jaguars i want the jaguars to to win the afc south so badly i do too that'd be so fun and i want trevor lawrence to be good and i want he actually is a good good sign to Billy,y zach wilson myself justin fields hank even mac jones like trevor lores doesn't have that much talent around him you know what i mean offensively like he's got james robinson's nice they did christian kirk they did get some receivers yeah but it's not you wouldn't say that it's like set up like two has got it set up or jalen Hurst's got it set up, and he looks good. Yeah, I think for the most part they spent – they overspent on wide receivers this offseason.
Right. But for a reason, because I think they just wanted to let Trevor know that they're trying.
Mm-hmm. Which in the past, you can't always say that with the Jaguars, that they're, like, making a good-faith effort to make their quarterback's life easier.
And so just having that, that probably helped a little bit. Also, Doug Peterson, who's slowly changing into Florida Santa Claus.
His hair's getting whiter, getting a little bit heavier. You get a little more sunburned here and there.
He's done a great job with Trevor. Turns out he might be a good coach.
That's the entire reason they brought him in, basically, was to say say we have a guy that is going to be just focused on improving our quarterback and we'll count on some other people to improve the rest of the team. As long as you can make sure that our highly touted, like can't miss quarterback, actually doesn't miss, then the rest will take care of itself.
Yeah, and I know that we maybe were overreacting because it's week three, but i yeah it turns out the the guy who lost like twice in all of college his entire college career might be good at quarterbacking yep he might be good i i think i i'm gonna say he's good and i think the the jaguars are going up my uh power rankings they i think they were frisky i think they're they might i might just make him good i think they're probably good i think they might just be good what about goodish that's probably good okay do you don't know if they're good I might just make them good. I think they're good.
I have a probably good. I think they might just be good.
What about good-ish? That's probably good. Okay.
You don't know if they're good or not. Do you have high-key, low-key good? No.
I actually think that they are high-key, low-key good. Yeah, they might be.
I mean, I got to see their schedule. I want to get excited for the Jaguars.
I'm excited for the Jaguars because this fan base gets tortured. Yeah, what did they say last week? Oh, well, they're going to lose on Sunday.
Sorry. Oh, again.
So, you know, number one team in the world. Oh, they're playing.
They're playing Eagles. Yeah.
All right. So that's a loss.
What if they win? What if they just say, what if they say, fuck it? We've all game for Doug Peterson. Yes, absolutely.
Do you think that, that Trevor Lawrence is just excited to be around a normal human being as his coach for the first time in his life? Yes. Because he had Urban and then he had Dabo before that.
Yeah. He's got like a guy who he wants to have a beer with.
Yeah. He's got a guy.
One guy would never have a beer with him in Dabo. And the other guy would have a beer and then try to finger fuck everyone at the bar.
Yeah. Doug Peterson will just fucking have a beer with you.
That's nice. All right.
So they play the Eagles. But then they have Texans, Colts, Giants, Broncos.
The Jaguars, we could be sitting here. The Jaguars could be like 6-2 maybe.
The Jaguars are right now, as it stands, in sole possession of first place, right? I'm buying the Jaguars. I'm hyping the Jaguars.
Jaguars fans, this is – you've been waiting for this moment for a very long time. I mean, I guess only five years since the boat.
But it's been a lot of bad football, a lot of really bad football, and now you have hope. There's nothing better than the hope, and they have legitimate hope.
The Bill's Eagles infrastructure question that we had last week, you could substitutesonville fans and they're pretty easily as long

as you say like if i don't think that our nation's drug dealers are ready for the jacksonville jaguars fans to go to the super bowl our meth manufacturing process is not up to speed yet yeah the jaguars fan base wouldn't put the um same stress in terms of quantity on phoenix but they would stress it like per person at a same as the Bills and Eagles. Yeah, if it's going to be a dry winter, I don't think that you have enough water to handle all the fireworks explosions that are going to happen.
Yeah, like 10,000 hardcore Jaguars fans does equal 100,000 Eagles fans. Yeah.
Because that's some real hardcore shit. Yeah.
You have to be fucked in the head to be a hardcore Jaguars. I gotta, I gotta bring back the, uh, the lady that was like, don't want some newcomer to come in and steal the show all time.
Man on the street interview. You think she's alive? Oh yeah.
She's, she's got a Trevor Lawrence. She's never, she might be living in Trevor Lawrence's house.
She's probably never going to die. Yeah.
She's, she's all in on it. Um, and then the chargers, I, this feels like another just classic chargers season i'm hoping that they you know everyone gets healthy because they are the team that every year it feels like if everyone was healthy they'd be the best team in the world but the rashaun slater injury definitely scares me because he's that good and herbert again i don't know why he was in the game late in the fourth.

And would you be surprised if the Chargers end up like 9-8 and just have to battle injuries the whole time?

Everyone's like, man, you know who would be great if they made the playoffs?

The Chargers.

That would be kind of refreshing, honestly.

It's nice to have our stereotypes come 100% true.

He did say, Justin Herbert did say to his coach

that he wanted to be out there battling with his guys at the end now now that's great i'm glad that he said that but then brand staley also i i think as head coach has the authority to be like hey we're getting our ass kicked i don't want you to get hurt if your quarterback is 100 healthy you still don't have him in 38 to 10 with five minutes left yeah you don't you you have that didn't uh didn't the packers pull aaron rogers against the vikings at the end yeah jordan love came in and i mean it was like total garbage time was like a minute and a half left but still the game is over yep just have chase that's what chase daniel is there for let do chase daniel a justice and let him go five for five on dump-offs so he can get another $15 million next year. Yeah, it's like if you have a Ferrari and you drive it every day and it's awesome and it's sweet and everybody loves it, and then one day of the year it snows like 24 inches, and you've also got a Chevy Silverado, and you're like, no, you know what? I'm going to take the Ferrari out because it's so fast and cool.
Yeah. And it's like, no, this is the, this is, this is the reason why you got the truck.
Yes, exactly. Um, okay.
Jaguars pumped, pumped for Jaguars fans. Shout out chaps.
Our guy, uh, Rams, Cardinals, Rams, 20 Cardinals, 12, kind of a boring game because it felt like the Rams won. I know this isn't true, but it felt like they won the game in the first quarter um they came out to a hot start and then it was just defense the whole game they they they kept the uh cardinals out of the red zone kyler after the game said you've got to you've got to be awake if you're playing with me um basically not calling out his receivers but a little bit i wouldn't say it's not not calling yeah right no it's calling him out um and sean mcveigh just owns cliff kingsbury yeah sean mcveigh is very clearly a smarter individual than cliff kingsbury is uh aaron donald had one of the most freakishly athletic plays ever seen when he was chasing after kyler murray and like full extension dove and basically grabbed one of his shoelaces yeah and made Kyler Murray fall down as he was trying to throw the ball away.
And then as Aaron Donald is like still in the process of diving to the ground and falling down, he sees Kyler Murray throw the ball away as he's falling down. And he calls for him to be called down for a sack.
He was like, he put his hand up as he was like horizontal in the air being like his knees down it was one of the most freakishly athletic things and one of the only things that like aaron donald could do and nobody else in the world and kyler murray also had uh did you see the other play where he just made a strict business decision that was very funny where aaron donald just blew up the whole line and it was like split second and kyler murray just threw it as far as he could down the field yeah that's a classic fuck this that's a classic Eli or Peyton Manning yeah where like one guy gets beat on defense and you just throw the ball immediately into the ground no no I'm not doing this not worth it that actually was a very relatable moment for Kyler Murray I think you should you should have done that yeah I think that Aaron Donald could make Kyler Murray explode if you hit him full speed yeah um cardinals defense looked okay they did shut down the the rams like after you know cooper cup had that big run for a touchdown cam acres had i think a touchdown in third quarter but i guess i would if i were a cardinals fan i'd be like once deandre hopkins comes back maybe we'll be good yeah because he is like they are a different offense with him he does everything when i When I'm watching these games, I just keep thinking to myself, we're going to get hard knocks about this at some point in the future because they are doing the in-season hard knocks for the Cardinals. Yeah.
So we get to rewatch all these games a little bit later. This game is going to be one I'll have no interest in what because it was a boring game.
And I was actually – I think it was Trent Dilfer was on Rosillo's show, our good friend Ryan, and he made a point that's like,

ah, damn, I wish I knew as much football as Trent Dilfer

because he knows 10,000 times more football than us.

But he was like, the problem without DeAndre Hopkins is,

like, you love Hollywood Brown because he's so fast,

but he can't block for shit.

And DeAndre Hopkins can block everyone,

and, like, you can't call half your plays because DeAndre hop like not just the the receiver deandre hopkins but the fact that he will block everyone on the field and you can run so many different plays with him and so many different looks so yeah i guess that would be it cardinals once deandre hopkins when is he coming back week seven i think it was i think it was six game suspension so if you can tread water, you can maybe, you know, I could see the Cardinals making a little bit of noise. Well, because it's not just – the entire Arizona Cardinals offense feels like it's built around the fact that they've got all short kings, and then they have DeAndre Hopkins as the ass kicker.
Yeah. So they've got Hollywood receiver they've got Moore both those guys I think are like five nine I think Moore's like five seven now he's strong as shit but they're not they're not out there opening up holes and then obviously Kyler Murray short guy they're not a physical team they've got uh Andy Isabella another small guy yep they're all small they've just assembled a team of small guys yeah Rondell Moore's injured right now.
Yeah, that's what I said. He's a guy that squats like 600 pounds or whatever.
Their entire team is assembled up short kings, but you need one big dude around you to make yourself not get your ass kicked all the time. You have to be able to have one guy that's Debo that's like, I'm going to send you in there and he's going to take care of my hard work for me.
I'm looking at their schedule. They could easily go 2-1 in their next three in Treadwater.
They have a loss in there, obviously, to the Eagles. Just looking at every schedule, it's like, oh, the Eagles play them.
No, but they play the Panthers, Eagles, and Seahawks. That should be 2-1.
That should be. Although I feel like Kyler Murray playing in Carolina, that's going to be a weird game.
Something weird's going to happen. Just the vibes.
Yeah. Just the vibes are off in that one.
I don't know. Maybe it's because didn't the Cardinals.
Wasn't that Kirk? No. You're thinking alone through like five interceptions against the Cardinals.
He had like a left-handed one. You might be the NFC championship.
You might be thinking of, of the Kyle bowl where it was Kyle Allen versus Kyler Murray. Yeah.
And Kyle Allen beat Kyler Murray and took the ER and became Kyler. This is when we get our true, like, we've watched too much football that you go weird vibes off of just old games that you watched at one point.
Oh, no. The Panthers killed the Cardinals in the NFC championship game.
So that was part of it. Yeah.
So the Panthers killed the cardinals in the nfc championship game that was so that was part of part of it the car yeah so the panthers killed the cardinals in the nfc championship game with cam newton when they went to the super i think there was a game recently where the panthers beat the shit out of the other cardinals in a game where they were heavy underdogs because newton was out and i think whoever newton's primary backup was also out yeah so they went to Kyle Allen. Okay.
See, this is my brain really working overtime. I was right.
It was the divisional playoff game in 2009 was the Cardinals versus Jake DeLone, the Panthers, and Jake DeLone threw five interceptions. Okay.
So they're weird vibes. Weird vibes in that game just weird vibes um okay

wrapping up we got two more games falcons seahawks shout out our guy arthur smith we bullied him we bullied him into throwing to kyle pitts and he threw to kyle pitts and drake yeah and drake london who could be offensive rookie of the year he's been awesome but Kyle Pitts had eight targets, five catches for 87 yards.

It was right out the gate like they're boom deep shot to kyle pitts we bullied him and it worked and here's another here's a stupid stat that means absolutely nothing but the falcons are four and oh when kyle pitts has over 80 yards catching no that. Yeah.
It makes sense. If I were Arthur Smith, I would just do screen dump-offs to him as many times as I possibly could to start the game to get 80 yards and be like, all right, now we win the game.
Okay, Big Cat, I've got a fun stat. Actually, it's more of a trivia question for you.
Okay. Ready for trivia? Yeah.
Okay. Who is the second leading rusher in the NFL? It's definitely Corderell Patterson.
It's Corderell Patterson. He was awesome today.
He's the second leading rusher in the NFL?

It's definitely Corderell Patterson.

It's Corderell Patterson.

He was awesome today.

He's the second leading rusher in the NFL right now.

He is – what award did we decide to give him last year?

The person that we like watching play football the most in the NFL?

Corderell Patterson keeps it up.

You said 172 yards today, something like that?

Yeah, it was crazy.

Just dominant, just absolute beast.

I think I will always like watching a tall running back

who's good at running the football.

Yes.

When you get a good tall running back out there,

it's just the dude's physically imposing,

and he can change directions, and he's fucking tough as shit.

Yeah, he's awesome.

Their offense is awesome.

Their defense probably sucks.

And Geno kind of cooked for a little bit until the end of the game

when he took a terrible sack and then threw an interception.

But I think the Seahawks, I'm going to put them in the firm like,

we're going to keep thinking the Seahawks aren't that bad

because we watched them Monday Night Football beat the Broncos,

but they are that bad.

They're bad.

They're pretty bad.

They might not.

They're booty.

They might not be favored in more than a handful of games for the rest of the year. They're booty.
Yeah, I mean, look, it was a pick-em against a winless Falcons. I actually think that they're dog shit.
Yeah. Yeah, no, they're bad.
But it is funny how the perception, just because of that Monday night game, will carry it for a little bit where we're like, oh, the Seah are kind of frisky no no they're bad okay at the lions i like the lines in that game that's a loss at the saints loss cardinals at home loss weird shit might happen some fuck shit might happen because it's yeah it's gonna be it's gonna be the the four o'clock game the afternoon game on fox yeah the one that's probably not on tv that much because it's going to suck. That one's going to be close, but it's still a loss.
Yeah. Yeah.
So, uh, good for the Falcons though. I will say DK had a catch that reminds you of exactly why DK Metcalf is getting paid so much money.
He's awesome. I think he was covered by two and a half people for most of the play.
And they, the ball was thrown just directly into the middle of all three of them. And he just jumped up, went completely horizontal, about seven feet above the ground, and then caught it easily with three other guys trying to get it from him.
It's like, okay. He's a beast.
I get it. He's a monster.
Yeah, he is. Okay.
Didn't fake anybody out on it. Last game, the Roback game.
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This game stunk. It did.
Yeah. I mean, it was, it was no offense whatsoever.
I'm also, you could say the defense has played well. Yeah.
I'm officially on like Packers defense is very legit and they will figure out their receivers. Even the fact that today,

I think they were missing two guys

from an already bad receiver group.

And then what's his name?

Romeo Dobb was just awesome.

So I'm officially like Packers will probably win the Super Bowl

and my worst nightmares will come true.

I have a new thing that I hate about the NFL

and it's been on the uptick for the last couple seasons.

They give the quarterback way too much time after the play clock goes to zero. Yeah.
And every time that it happens, and it happened a couple times today to Tom Brady especially. You okay, Hank? Every time it happens, the play clock...
Usually someone says bless you, but I'm good. Well, that's better.
Are you okay? That was a violent sneeze. Yeah, I was making sure you're all right.
Yeah, blessings bless you bless you bless you God bless you bless you so the play clock goes to zero and Tom Brady snaps the ball like a full half second after it snapped or after the play clock strikes zero and then you have always it's Mike Pereira gets on the line and he's like yeah they're trained to actually the way that they look and monitor the play you typically give the quarterback a little grace period on that it's like no you fucking don't it's like tie goes to the runner no that's not what it should be the you're either out or you're safe but it's not the tie goes to the runner you're saying that if the runner hits the base like just a half second after the ball gets into the glove then the runner's safe it's bullshit and and it's always like mike pereira saying to America, like completely simping for the referees and saying, no, this is how it's understood that we give them that leniency. Stop doing it.
Yeah. You should call it.
There's a clock there. Call it the way that the clock reads for a reason.
And they got that delay of game. They actually did get a delay of game on the two-point conversion at the end, which backed them up, and they ended up not converting on that two-point conversion.
But on that one, it was because they spent so much time celebrating the touchdown, and they didn't realize the clock starts for the two-point conversion immediately. It's easier if you're getting the field goal unit on the field to kick the extra point, but when you have to line back up, I guess it's a little bit harder, but that's something that Tom Brady should probably know by now.
So then I'm thinking, has the game passed Tom Brady by? I'm in the camp of the Bucs are still very good, and if they have even one of their three receivers back, they'll be fine. Mike Evans, Chris Godwin, Julio Jones all didn't play today.
It was funny watching in the beginning of the game. There was like a little slant that Tom Brady hit Cole Beasley, and Greg Olson was like, Tom Brady told us before the game that it feels like he's been playing with Cole Beasley for the last 20 years.
He's like, yeah, because he has. Like, yeah, Cole Beasley is, we talked about it on Friday.
He is the dog he found on the highway. He knows how to work with a dog.
He's the adopted version of Julian Edelman. Right.
So I think the Bucs will be fine, but I am officially nervous about the Packers because their defense is legit. And I was looking at their schedule, and I'm even more nervous because it feels like they have a four-game stretch here where they're going to just get to figure shit out offensively.
They're playing the Patriots, the giants, Patriots, giants, jets, all at home. And then at commanders, they're going to have like a month where they're like, Oh, they'll fucking Aaron Andrews is going to sit down with, with, with Aaron Rogers in like mid October and be like, why, why are you clicking so well with this team? Because they played bad teams and they figured it out and now they're good.
But isn't that going to lead us down the same conversation where they're beating every team by a million points and they're not going to be able to win close games like the Bills? Well, they did win one today. They're going to get Bills fever.
They won. But I'm saying after they go through that stretch, false confidence hits them a little bit.
I want to know what Aaron Rodgers was talking about after the game when he said that the scoreboard operator, the Jumbotron operator, put something up there that they're not supposed to put up there, and it gave him a piece of intel. Do we have any idea whatsoever what he was talking about? No, but he's cheating.
I feel like we need to look at it. I'm shocked that nobody's put the pieces together on that.
That scoreboard is for Bucs fans' eyes only.

That's a fact.

All we know as of now is that

something pertained to

the Buccaneers' offense and stopping

them, and then he related to the defense.

Got it. Okay, so he was like

they're going to run past. He saw

something on the

jumbotron that he told

the defensive coaches. You know what? I'm very woke on this.
I think that Aaron Rodgers didn't see shit. I think he's just saying something just to get inside their heads.
He might have hallucinated. I think he's just making the entire thing up.
This also was a game, and we sat and watched it with our good friend Stephen Shea, who's a diehard Bucs fan, and he got mad at me at the end. But we all knew the same thing.
As they were just playing field position the entire time, it was so obvious the Bucs were going to score and not get the two-point conversion. And it happened exactly how we expected it to happen.
Like, that always happens that way. So, yeah, I think both those teams are very good, and I'm worried about the Packers.
You probably just saw on the Jumbotron that the clock ticked to zero on the play clock because it was before the two-point conversion. Yeah.
He probably just saw it turn to zero. He was like, that's going to be a delayed game.
Yeah. And then they called it a delayed game.
He's like, see, man, the universe sometimes speaks to you. Yeah.
Damn. I got that.
Okay. Billy, let's do Football Guy of the Week, and then we'll wrap up real quick with who's back of the week.
Good job, everyone. We of nothing with not a great week three but that's what we do that's where we get paid 85 000 in board apes every single episode and you know what's the best part about it we have so much body armor in the office we can drink it the whole time yes i'm drinking it right now yeah body armor this season you know your favorite players are hydrating with body armor sports drink on and off the field.
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It's available for purchase in-store and on Amazon now. Okay, here's our football guys.
So last week we had the Appalachian State football coaches. They won with their mousetraps.
They had a pretty tough loss this week. Why would it happen? You tell us.
Called it. Why would it happen? Hank called it.
It was a letdown second half. It was.
28-3, they blew the lead. lead it wasn't just a set appalachian state had like 10 good minutes in this game besides that it was an ass kicking by jmu 28 to 3 we called it during the game we said this is the most dangerous lead in football sure enough jmu comes back and the discussion is happening believe it or not about whether jmu should be ranked in the top 25 i think they got 11 votes so 11 people out there having the discussion is happening, believe it or not, about whether JMU should be ranked in the top 25.
I think they got 11 votes. So 11 people out there are having the discussion, 12 if you include part of my take, that JMU should be ranked.
So this is pretty incredible. We're better than Mississippi State.
We're better than LSU. We're better than Notre Dame.
Who would have thought? So I think this may be the first winner who would be appropriate to send them a nail in a football.

Okay.

And maybe get that going.

Maybe some part of my cheesesteaks.

Yeah.

Like it.

Get that going this week. Look at me.
So, yeah. Congratulations.
Okay. So our first nominee for this week is the 21-year-old nuclear terrorist from Utah that we talked about last week.
If you didn't hear, a 21-year-old Utah student was arrested after she threatened to detonate a nuclear reactor that is located on campus if utah had lost to san diego state well didn't happen she posted it on yik yak and was arrested but love the dedication yeah football gal i like yeah our second nominee this week is uh baylor coach dave aranda who is slapping people's asses on the sidelines. Just guys stuff.
Just guys being dudes, slapping asses. It was pretty aggressive.
It was getting hyped for the game. Love the vibe.
Yes. Our third nominee is Ken Dorsey.
We talked about him earlier. He went nuts in the booth after a pretty bad ending to a game, and he smashed up his tablet.
So I have a personal theory that if the the tablets were apple products they wouldn't get smashed so much on the sidelines and in the booth because i think that has a little more of like a value component yeah i mean you remember when jay cutler called it like knockoff ipads yeah yeah right after microsoft had paid like 800 million dollars to sponsor the tablets on the side of the field i like i i think since they expendable, they just think they can break them. Yeah, they just throw them.
Our fourth nominee is Trey Benson, running back from Florida State. This is a typical tradition they do.
One player at the end of the game after a win gets to break up a rock with the other opposing team's symbol on it. This time it was Boston College.
And Trey Benson in the locker room after the win went nuts on this rock and just smashed it to smithereens with a giant sledgehammer. Love it.
Very cool. Football guy move.
And this week, because a lot of the nominees aren't as good as some other weeks, I brought back throwback football guy of the week. So this week, 27 years ago, this is actually pretty close.
Big Cat probably remembers this very well. A Bears fan jumped into the tunnel against the Packers after a field goal was kicked between the uprights and he jumped a crazy high way to grab a football out of the air, landed on his two feet.
It was a completion and it was a pretty athletic parkourish play that, you know, he was interviewed on the sideline and the guy's name was Mike Pantazes and pretty good football guy. Yeah.
Fantastic mullet. We, uh, like way back in the day, Eddie and I think White Sox, Dave and I interviewed him, uh, for a podcast, like maybe eight or nine years ago.
Great dude. It's a psycho play on his part.
He could have been. He probably should have been seriously injured, but he fucking nailed it.
Like you talk about total peace preparation being when or success being when preparation meets opportunity. That dude had his moment and he grabbed it by the balls and twisted and he's been living off it ever since and he should because it was very very cool only only problem with that moment was like imagine if that happened today it would be like super viral it was viral for then but like super super viral so i i think that if it happened today they would have like dug into his background immediately yeah that's true uh milk milkshake yeah yeah um okay Billy.
Awesome. Check out the blog.
You can vote on it on Twitter. Let's wrap up with Who's Back of the Week.
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Who's back of the week brought to you by visible. Hank, my who's back of the week is Max Homa.
Yeah, buddy. USA, USA, USA, USA, USA.
Suck it. Every other country in the world, except for Europe.
He went 4-0 in his matches. He had an electric walk-in putt on the 18th green on Friday to win his match.
And the USA dominated and won the President's Cup. If Max isn't on the Ryder Cup, we riot.
Riot and a travesty of justice. He was awesome.
He also didn't really. The only the only critique I'll have of Max is he played great golf is they did not plan beforehand whether they're doing like chest bumps or hugs because it was just so it was total like golf nerd celebration where everyone was on a different page.
I did notice that at one point, I think it was on Friday. He hit a putt and he did.
He started doing the walk away like a foot or two before the ball went into the cup. That was sick.
Well, they have the edits, so there's a clip going around. There's a Tiger one similar where it makes it look deep fake internet stuff.
I saw that one too. It makes it look like he walks it in, and he just turns around before the putt even drops.
He's got to start doing that for real. Yeah.
That's some big baller stuff. Yeah, I think first he needs to...
Yeah, if Max Homa does that in a major and it actually works, I think we can say that that's the coolest moment in golf history. If he walks away from a putt when it's, what did you say, more than five feet or further from the hole and it goes in like yes he is now

your golden golf god yep yeah the deep fake video he basically hits it and then turns around

uh okay good who's back thanks great job hank thank you um my who's back of the week is Alanis Morissette

Sublime

The Lumineers

Dave Matthews

Cyndi Lauper

Jimmy Eat World

And Pup Punk

Nice sublime the lumineers oh dave matthews cindy lopper jimmy world and pup punk nice because oceans calling music festival is on saturday pup punk we've been asked to play basically in front of like every band that i listened to when i was uh 12 to 16 years old i still listen to lumineers they're awesome yeah so um it is actually this is a perfect time for lumineers yeah this is the time of year when they're the hottest. I still listen to Lumineers.
They're awesome. Yeah.
So it is actually, this is a perfect time for Lumineers. Yeah.
This is the time of year where they're the hottest. I always just, I just hit Lumineers all of October and just fucking let it run.
Yeah. All I really want out of this weekend.
It should be fun. It's the oceans calling music festival.
It's in ocean city. So come out to the festival.
If not to see us and pup bung, it's me, Roan, Robbie, Frankie, and Nick. And we're going to have a great time.
We're going to play some songs that you guys all know and love, hopefully. And we're just going to party your dicks off.
I'm just mostly excited about the possibility of meeting Sublime when I'm there. Yeah, that's sick.
Because if you had told 12-year-old me you're going to meet Sublime and Boomer all in one calendar year, I think I would say, like, okay, I'll accept that. I'll accept that for my life.
I don't want to be a Debbie Downer here, and I'm not too, you know, well-versed on my rock and roll history, but isn't, like, one of Sublime's people's dead? Yeah, Bradley died in 1996. A long, long time ago.
Heroin overdose. Before he even got famous.
Breaking news. Yeah.
So when you say meets the blind. Well, the other band members.ic wilson still around that's what i thought i i kind of yes the main guy that you think of in sublime is has has been dead for a very long time hank got it i never even knew he was alive until i found out that he was dead that's how dead he's been yeah so thanks thanks hank kirk coban yeah yeah yeah jimmy hendrix would be there um hey well just the way i was Yeah, no, no, Kurt Cobain.
Yeah. Yeah.
Jimi Hendrix would be there. Well, just the way I was.
Yeah, no. No, it's fine.
No, just take the win completely out of my house. Bands do keep playing when someone dies.
Yeah. What? It's 1 a.m.
It's 1 a.m. Yeah, it is 1 a.m.
All right, Mai, who's back? This one sucks. Albert Poole, whatever.
It is 700th. $699 and 700.
Apple TV, though, so it didn't really count.

Yep.

But it was...

I hate the guy.

I hate the Cardinals.

But even after kind of ruminating for a little bit and being salty about it

and pretending that I was asleep and tweeting through it,

I was like, you know what?

That was a fucking cool moment.

And that's the only nice thing I'll say about Albert Pujols and the Cardinals.

So that was a cool moment. Good for him.
nice thing i'll say about albert pool is in the cardinals so that was a cool moment good for him he did it the clean way and good for him so there we go and honestly too in terms of his personal information yep yep exactly the high school picture of albert rules he's very funny he's fucking 40 700, four guys ever. It's fucking crazy.
So again, this is it. I will never say it again.
If you clip this and tweet it back to me, I will block you. Good for Alba Pujols.
That was a cool moment. You are now part of a very, very exclusive baseball history club.
Who else is in that club, Big Cat? Babe Ruth, Barry Bonds, who we recognize yes and hank aaron wow that's it it's rarefighter four guys that's it all those guys and no one else uh pretty fucking crazy when you think about it we do recognize barry bonds oh on this show he's the best baseball player of all time on this show billy my who's back is zach Wilson. He's officially back and cleared to play next week against pittsburgh at pittsburgh a game we can win and uh it's been a long time coming no mike wait is this breaking news he's officially cleared yeah sila said it after in the press conference hell yeah i don't know if it's breaking breaking news i.
No, we had it first. Yeah, we had it first.

Good job, Billy.

I knew.

Yeah, you broke the news.

Take credit, dude.

Yeah, I'm taking credit.

Yeah, you broke the fucking news.

If anyone else tries to say they broke the news,

on Sunday people will, like, Ian Rapport will be like,

breaking news, Zach Wilson is starting today.

No, no, no. Billy Football had it 1 a.m.
Monday morning.

Yeah.

Facts.

You better hope he plays. I know.
I know. Your reputation is on the line.
Facts. You better hope he plays.

I know.

I know.

Your reputation is on the line.

I know.

And Sam Ellinger is in his performance as well.

Yeah, I saw you updated your chart.

He was inactive today.

I know.

But he's been on a steady...

But they won.

Yeah.

Sam Ellinger's team beat the Chiefs today.

Yeah.

But yeah, Billy had to begrudgingly, credit to Billy, he did update his chart.

Trevor Lawrence might be better than Sam Ellinger.

Well, I think it's time to... Sam Ellinger's team beat the Chiefs today.
Yeah. But, yeah, Billy had to begrudgingly, credit to Billy,

he did update his chart.

Trevor Lawrence might be better than Sam Ellinger.

Well, I think it's time that we ask the question, though,

was Sam Ellinger doing such a good job as scout team Patrick Mahomes this week?

True. He's probably the only quarterback in the league that could compare

and prepare his own defense for what playing against Patrick looks like.

Right.

Facts. I think, but on the chart, it's just a little dip of going down.
Okay, that's fine. Yeah.
All right. It's a marathon, not a sprint.
Jake, finish us off. My who's back is Rihanna.
We had an announcement in the afternoon today. She will be headlining the Super Bowl halftime show.
Swifties, they got teased. There were rumors that Taylor Swift was going to do it.
It was never confirmed. And here we are.

I didn't know that there were rumors about that.

Yeah.

Yeah, there were.

Good.

Yeah.

Rihanna.

So we have our super bowl halftime show.

Love it.

Love it.

Okay.

Numbers.

Good show, everyone.

Hall of Fame guest on Wednesday.

Oh.

Oh, Billy.

Let's clap it up.

Let's clap it up.

I know what clap he was doing, too. Let's clap it up.
I know what clap he was doing, too.

Let's clap it up.

That was a specific clap he was doing.

Yep.

17.

69.

That actually will give it away to some people.

Let me get 75.

26.

I'll go with two.

20.

Hey, have you ever gotten this?

No.

Really?

What'd you guess?

17

100

Is that first time?

Was that that four times?

How come I never remember that we've done it four times

Triple digits

And when Billy stole 69 from us, we actually wrote 69 on this.

So if it came up, it counted as 69.

Is it low-key 69?

Well, you stole 69 from us.

No, I kept it safe.

I was kind of holding it hostage.

You kept it safe.

It was a hostage exchange.

All right, we'll see everyone on Wednesday.

Sharks are older than the rings of Saturn.

Love you guys.

Yep. You called it.
Yep, called it. Hell yeah.
PFT said you were going to use that as we were walking around the studio on Thursday. Yeah.
Well, yeah, because you told it to me and I added it to my list. Yeah.
Yeah. No, I just called it.
But you also said it on Maccadam. Yeah.

That's awesome.

Called it.

Knew it was going to be set.

Sweet.

Sweet. I'll be coming for your love, baby I'll be coming for your love, baby

Take me on me

Take me on me

Take me on me

Take me on me

Take me on me I'm out. Thank you.
I am the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the king of the Thank you. Take me down Take me down Take me down Take me down Take me down Take me down Take me down I'm out of here.
Thank you.