Ryan Fitzpatrick In Studio, Russell Wilson Returns To Seattle + A New Segment 1 Question With A QB

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We're going to recap Monday Night Football. We're going to do a little hot seat, cool throne, clean up anything from Sunday.
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And Nathaniel Hackett, oh, no, no, baby. We should have given him some more advice on how to use timeouts.
I think we did give him maybe too much advice on field goals at the end of games. Yeah.
I think that got in his brain because didn't we ask him a couple times like, hey, don't you love kicking field goals at the end of games? He's like, the end of games? We were reinforcing what happened in the Green Bay game, and it turns out we just made him subconsciously fall back in love with kicking field goals again. I also should say he did end up using the timeout.
So if you missed Monday Night Football, it was an awesome game. It was an awesome game.
We had Russell Wilson's return to return to seattle we had joe buck and troy aikman in the monday night football booth side note it took like two minutes for me to be like yeah this feels completely normal like like when it first started and you saw joe buck on a monday night i was like oh this is weird and then two minutes into the game i was like oh yeah these guys are the best in the i was confused at first because they have they have daytime voices to me. It's not so much like the day of the week Monday.
It's that I'm so used to Joe Buck and Troy Aikman being on in the afternoon, maybe like a twilight, a dusk voice. But getting it started at 8 p.m., Joe Buck pops on my TV.
I got confused. I was like, what is this, baseball? But, yeah, I mean, they've got big game voices, and they work together well as a team.
It was great. I did watch some of the manning cast a little bit last night too they were um they just need to stop having guests on i think yeah they're way better when it's just them making it's basically 90 eli being like hey peyton you've got a big head and then eli and then peyton being like yeah eli you kind of you look like a turkey when your mouth's open all the time right that's the stuff that i like i don't need jo Joel McHale on the screen talking about whatever project he's working on.
He also was talking about Peyton's big head. He's roasting his forehead.
But that was after Eli had already set it up at that point. It's easier when your brother's telling you you have a big head.
When it's Joel McHale saying it, it's like you're making fun of someone who's outside the circle of trust. I did not watch the Manning cast at all.
I think Joe and Troy kind of erased them. I'll watch them if it's a blowout, but Joe Buck and Troy Aikman, I just love being able to sit down on a Monday night football game because we don't have to record after and just enjoying the game.
And, Jake, you're going to like this. I made a little note.
Joe Buck, why I consider him one of the best in the biz, because I do think that there's not many people who hate Joe Buck anymore it's it's really like it's an antiquated take it's a lot of people like if you say that online people like dude you're kind of wrong I you could say he roots against your team that's fine but in terms of like big game voices and being a consummate pro he's up there with everyone like the Al Michaels uh you know F know fowler herb street booth but joe buck credit to joe buck this is why he's the best in the biz russell wilson comes out first drive crazy booze lays out does not say joe buck did not say a single word until after the play was over he i felt like i was in the stadium it was those are the little that's so awesome when he does that, where it's like, just let the game speak for itself. And it was such a cool moment to just, because they were thundering boos on Russell Wilson.
I was surprised at the boos. And we had talked about this last week going into this game.
And you asked me, like, do you think the Seattle crowd is going to boo him? I said, no, there's no there's no chance that they boom he's russell wilson during the seahawks he took them to two superbowls one one this is their god they should they will they will revere him for the rest of history and then he comes out there they boo the shit out of him and you you tweeted out last night like yeah i think you were saying that if the chicago bears had a quarterback half as good as Russell, you'd cheer him for forever.

I'd hug him.

I'd embrace him.

Anything.

I would do the same if the commanders ever had a quarterback like that.

Hank, as a loser yourself, you saw what happened when Tom Brady came back to the Patriots.

You guys embraced him.

You're like, thank you, Tom, for everything that you've done.

We're losers without you.

We'll always be losers. Now that you're gone, we're losers again.
Thanks, Tom, for temporarily making us feel like winners. That's how I would feel.
That's how I would feel, too, if we had Russell Wilson. So I was surprised that they moved.
9-26. So I was a little bit surprised, but then I thought about it more.
I think if this game took place at any point other than this year, and especially week one, it might be a little different. So if Russell Wilson plays for eight more years and he comes back to Seattle at the end of his career, I think they will cheer him.
I think it's just so raw and so like, dude, we know what you did. You can pretend that this wasn't what you wanted.
Remember Russell would always say,, like, I want to be here long-term. It's like, well, and we would make the point.
If you want to be here long-term, you will be there long-term because you're the quarterback. You can decide that.
And just on the flip side, he decided he didn't want to be there long-term. So the rawness of it, the fact that it was week one, I think that if it happens, like I said, eight years from now, or let's even say Russ goes somewhere else and he plays in Seattle in four years from now, I think they might be a little bit more receptive to him and be like, hey, that was cool when you won us the Super Bowl.
Yeah, I've got to take about the Seahawks, about the players themselves, not having Russ Wilson around anymore. I think they're kind of relieved.
I think that it's like a weight off their shoulders, not having to worry about plugging Russ in in the locker room, making sure that his software is up to date, all that shit. Making sure his shower that he takes, that he has his own bathroom.
Does he have his own bathroom? Well, we're going to get to that with Ryan Fitzpatrick. Remember he alluded to something like that? That's right.
Yes. Yeah, interesting.
Great interview coming up. I've forgotten about that, actually.
But with his teammates in Seattle, it's got to be a pain in the dick. I understand that Russell Wilson is a great player.
He made the team competitive for 10 years. And to a certain extent, you have to pretend to like a guy like that when he's in the locker room.
Trust me, I know. I play on a trivia team with Brandon Walker.
I get how to deal with annoying people. I play on a trivia team with Stephen Che.

There you go. So once a guy like that leaves, the weight off your shoulders is just enormous.
And now you're like, oh, shit. Geno Smith is a normal person.
He's kind of fun. He's my boy.
Let's go out there. Let's have fun.
So all week I was going to bet on the Broncos minus six and a half. and I saw Russell Wilson show up in that tuxedo, and the switch in my brain completely flipped, and I was like, wait, we've been talking about this as a revenge game for Russell Wilson? This is far more of a revenge game for all of the Seahawks who probably were sick of his shit, and they were flying around.
Their first their first half again thanks to Jules for preseason matters because we all hammered first quarter Seahawks the Broncos did looked disjointed to start the game the Seahawks looked sharp they basically were like Geno can give us one good half and then we have to hold on and that strategy worked but yeah I I agree with you like I think Russell Wilson's an incredible quarterback, but you can't at this point. We've seen enough that he's got to be kind of annoying to be around.
Yeah, can you imagine just like you're going to the locker room where you're looking to just hang out with the boys. You're tired.
Practice has been long. And then Russell's sitting at his locker and he's making you watch Tony Robbins videos about being more committed to details.
You're like, fuck you, Russ. Can I please just hang out? I just want to play cards for us.
Is that okay? You come into the locker room and Russ has already been there for an hour having a conversation with himself, simulating what it's like to have a conversation with his teammates. Yeah.
And you're like, wait, what's going on here, dude? Did you see he did the thing where he ran out onto the field and did the simulated high five. Oh yeah.
Even yesterday. Yeah.
When he ran out onto the field onto the field. He's simulating high fives at an away game running out of the tunnel.
Do you think – I was thinking about this last night. Do you think anyone in Russell Wilson's camp is starting to be like, hey, man, we're getting a little blowback here.
People are starting to be like, hey, you're kind of annoying. Do you think that that's happening at any point? Because there Russell Wilson clearly cares how other people perceive him and the perception starting to flip.
Like we've, we've been on it for a while, but I think regular people also are kind of thinking like, yeah, he's kind of annoying. He's a little, he's a goober.
And again, not a bad guy, seemingly a very nice guy, great quarterback, goober personality. I think he'd be a great neighbor to have.
How about that? He'd be a fan. Well, I don't know, dude.
Now I'm thinking like Christmas time, he definitely like competes in terms of how much lights he's putting up on his house. Yes.
But he'd definitely be the guy that would like come over, shovel your driveway for you when it snowed, which would actually be kind of emasculating. But he'd probably wake up at 4 a.m yeah shovel your driveway for you he would be um take very good care of his lawn no he would show he would he would fake shovel your driveway in june getting ready to simulate reps yeah just being like let's simulate this so when january comes i'm ready to shovel your driveway i just feel like he's a he's a good human being i think yes but i would never want to hang out with him.
He's just a robot. And we've seen it many times in sports where you become like the person becomes a brand in of themselves.
And the brand is like, dude, just be a human. We don't care about the quotes.
We don't care. I've likened it to Russell Wilson when you ask him a question.
It looks like he's internally just scrolling Gary V's Instagram page looking for the perfect quote.

He's going through the files. He's doing the file rundown.
He's clicking users. Russell Wilson saved files, press conference answers, just trying to take it one day at a time, execute.
Yes. That's what he's doing.
Russell Wilson is

He tried to

He went off course I think when he

Steered away from just being a dork

And trying to become the cool dork. Right.
You know? Like, he used to be the dork wearing the button-down Hawaiian shirt tucked into the jeans. That was a cool look.
I liked that cool dork. That was a cool look.
I like cool dork, Russ. And brace your dork.
But then I think everything changed at that interception at the Super Bowl. Because remember, he ran off the field and he gave an interview after that game and was saying, you know what, as I was running off the field, I was thinking, this is God putting you in this moment for a reason.
That's a fine thought to have at some point to be like, okay, yeah, somebody's challenging me. I am Job at this point.
Right.

But don't think about that right when it happens.

Think about it like six months later.

We've also, you know, I don't believe in God,

but there's been times where I'm like, please, God, if there is one,

can I win this bet or can the Bears win this game?

I'm pretty sure if there is a God, he doesn't care about football.

I disagree.

I don't think he cares about the results of football games and he's deciding the result of football games. Explain Tebow Mania.
Tebow Mania would be the hardest, but then explain Tebow just never being able to play ever again. Doesn't matter.
He had that moment. Yeah, and being a punchline.
He's like Jesus. He was given to us and taken away quickly.
If Tebow had won a Super Bowl, I'd be like, yeah, God exists. Yeah.
That would be a complete confirmation. Like, yeah, he still might.
Yeah. Cowboys.
Cowboys need a quarterback. Cowboys need a quarterback.
Yeah. RG3 chasing that hawk was.
The hawk was chasing him. Yeah.
RG3 put the burners on. He also tweeted after.
He's like, you're probably wondering how I got here.

I'm like, well, you work for ESPN.

And some producer was like, you should chase this Hawk.

Oh, I disagree.

I think that that was RG3's idea.

Yeah, it might have been.

I think because RG3, he gets out of nature and he's like, how can I compete with nature?

Yeah.

Whether it's beating a Hawk in a foot race or absolutely drilling a tree with a football.

Yes.

Yes.

All right.

So the game. Geno Smith was great uh the broncos looked bad for a majority of the game and then we have the absolute like i don't know what nathaniel i think he panicked to be honest so it was what a minute and like 10 seconds left fourth and five all three timeouts on the 46 and he's just like, let's just burn the clock, then call a timeout, then attempt a 64-yarder.
And I just – I still can't – like there's – why didn't they go for it? They knew they could get the ball – with three timeouts, you can go for it, not get it, and still get the ball back with like 50 seconds. Yeah, that's a miracle, but

I would still take that out getting five

yards with Russell Wilson over

a 64-yard field goal.

Yeah, so this is

just a rookie head coach doing

rookie head coach things, I think.

And if he'd played enough

Madden in the past, he would understand

exactly how to handle that end-of-game situation.

This is a problem with too many

teams are hiring offensive-defensive coordinators

that have

spent their lives on the sidelines calling plays, doing a great job building offenses,

but have never picked up a fucking controller in their lives and played Madden.

Right.

If they play Madden, they know exactly how to handle the end-of-game experience.

Well, they know how hard kicking is.

They know how tough kicking is, and they know exactly when to call the timeouts.

But on the sidelines, every team should actually just have a guy who is the minister of the

Thank you. how hard kicking is they know how tough kicking is and they know exactly when to call the timeouts um but on the sidelines if you every team should actually just have a guy who is who is uh the minister of the clock yeah just the clock commander yeah just have a guy that's like flava flave on the sideline all they care about is a big fucking giant clock in their face they tell you how to handle those scenarios and how to optimize your seconds because it looked like he just he just went to screensaver at the end of the.
I don't think he had an understanding with what he was trying to do because anyone that's ever watched football was yelling at the TV, like, use a timeout, use a timeout. What are we doing? Why are you doing this? Or go for it.
It's not even the clock was mismanaged. But I still, it goes back to you paid Russell Wilson, you know, $250 million.
You traded all these picks for him. The whole reason you got Russell Wilson was because he's an elite quarterback who in a fourth and five situation with a minute left can get you those five yards.
But you called the timeout. I think what he did was he was seeing the clock that was ticking, and he panicked.
He didn't know what to do. And as you're watching that clock kick down, you're like, okay, field goal.
We'll do a field goal. Right.
So the field goal unit out there. But he should have called the timeout with a minute left.
So he had fourth and five, and then he gets the first down, and then he has a full minute left to work the rest of the field, get 10 more yards, kick another field goal, or go for a touchdown. He should have called that timeout the second they got that first.
Or they should have. Or the second they got that eight-yard gain on third down.
Or they should have been like, hey, third down's coming. If we don't get it, get to the line, run a play so that we can have all three timeouts.
So if we don't get it, we get the ball back. Yeah, you could get the ball back too, but.
No, I'm just saying you have all three timeouts. That, whatever.
It was clearly an error. Russell Wilson say like he thought it was the right choice.
Obviously, he's going to say that. But I just smiling after the game.
Yeah. Well, of course he was because he's Russell Wilson.
And he did. He did put on that tux.
He put it back on, which is a wild move. You can't lose in that game and then put the tux back on.
What are you say, Billy? Spin zone, like many other coaches in the NFL that week, he lost on a field goal. Yeah, that's true.
He lost on a field goal. That just changes the whole narrative of the loss.
Yeah. He was right there.
He was right there. To better explain what happened at the end of the game, we actually have our old friend Rick Riley broke it down for us like we're idiots.
It was beautiful. He said, Hackett says, or no, he says, sorry, hey, Coach Hackett, if you married Sofia Vergara, this is great, like this is what, I mean, she was, one of his modern family that was like.
That's pretty good for Rick Riley. It is pretty good, but it still is like five years.
2010. Yeah, 2010.
It's not Kate Upton, right? He's moved on. Yeah.
Hey, Coach Hackett, if you married Sofia Vergara, would you leave her sitting in the hotel lobby? You married Russell Wilson. You traded four picks and three guys for him.
Play him. Hashtag Broncos.
Why would she be sitting in the hotel lobby? Well, because the whole thing is like, Nathaniel Hackett, would you fuck Sofia Vergara? Right. That's's what rick riley's asking right it's a legitimate question he's saying that he took sofia vergara after they got married took her back to the hotel and then and then he's like you stay down here yeah i'm gonna go up to the room and jack off and pull a dan orlovsky real quick right but but you have a key card wait could come to the room.
The honeymoon suite. I think the big question is, would Nathaniel Hackett fuck Sofia Vergara? I think he would.
I think. Well, I don't know.
So he should then fuck Russell Wilson? I don't know, because he didn't let Russell Wilson fuck the end zone. Yeah, that's true.
So thank you to Rick Riley for breaking that down for us. The other part of this game, the Geno Smith, what was the exact quote? You guys wrote me off, but I didn't write back.
Yeah, a lot of you guys wrote me off, but I didn't write back. So, I was happy for Geno.
I like when Geno looks like he did in the first half. It's fun.
I was okay writing Geno Smith off. I have...
I think that was... I don't have regrets of writing off the guy who was 13-21 as a starter going into this game, the guy who got punched in the face by a defensive player on his team on the Jets because he refused to pay him $600, or the guy that got a DUI for going 40 miles an hour over the speed limit in January.
I was comfortable writing Geno Smith off. To cover machine, though.
He is. He is, yeah.
Yeah, but that was one of those ones. I know that you have to find motivation anywhere, but it wasn't like Geno Smith was killing it as a starter and then a couple breaks went against him.
Geno Smith has some self-inflicted wounds here, including, I think, having more interceptions than TDs as a starter. i was i'm happy for him but i was comfortable writing him off so when he said that that quote about a lot of you guys wrote me off i didn't write back there were a lot of people online being like this is so cool to see gino i was happy for so many so many people out there like treating him like shit and this is a great way to remind him that that he's a human being and he can he can rise above it i thought to myself for a second, I've made my fair share of jokes about Geno Smith.
I'm okay with what I've said about Geno in the past. I think it's a very cool line that he said.
Yeah. One that I plan on stealing myself.
Russell Wilson will steal it. Russell Wilson is going to steal it, but probably- Week two.
Yeah. A lot of people tried to email me, but i had my out of office automatic reply set up it it sounded like the uh the end of that song stand by eminem but if it was written by ted kaczynski yeah and geno smith is a fun guy to root for but we fell into this trap with him last year yeah we fell in the trap where we're like i think geno smith is a legit quarterback and i think it took about a game and a half to be like, oh shit, yeah, he's Geno Smith.
I am fully comfortable being right off Geno Smith territory. He's had a long career in the NFL.
He will continue to be, he's going to be the starter this year. He'll be a backup probably somewhere when the Seahawks find their franchise quarterback.
I'm okay with where I'm at with Geno Smith. Happy for him.
But again, everything Geno, like reading back, I was reading back the story when he got his jaw broken. He was a real dick.
He was a dick. He told, I can't even pronounce the name, Ike.
Ike. Jake.
And Kapali. Who's now in real estate.
Who's in real estate. Great.
So the story went that Ike and Kapali invited Geno Smith to his camp. He had a football camp, paid for Geno Smith to go to the camp.
Geno no-showed. They agreed afterwards they'd split the cost of everything that Ike and Kampali had paid for him.
And Kampali. And Kampali.
And then when he asked for the $600, Gino was like, what are you going to do about it? And then broke his jaw. As a quarterback, you should probably just be a little bit better of a leader.
And then the DUI, again, Gino Smith, nice guy. I'm good where i'm at writing him off so um little fun story when that story broke about geno smith getting his jaw broken that was the day that i was actually up in bristol to watch behind the scenes a taping of first take yeah with skip and stephen a smith it was an incredible moment in television watching them debate who was at fault in this mess on a story that was just breaking right then.
Skip Bayless, I'm telling you, he was laying into Stephen A. Smith and watching them debate what a shitty guy Geno Smith is was so perfect because they would, you know, they yell at each other for seven minutes and then it goes to commercial break and then Stephen A.
Smith would get up and pace around the room in the commercial break, just muttering to himself. He's like, Geno Smith, second-day draft pick, most overrated quarterback I've ever seen in my life.
Debating himself almost, getting himself ready, then sitting down, and then Skip Bayless just doesn't even blink, and Skip Bayless is just like, I think he deserved to get punched. It was incredible television.
Yeah, it was a wild story. So yeah, Geno Smith has a hell of a career going in the Seahawks.
I used to hate the lime green jerseys, but I think I'm into them now. I don't know what flipped, but I liked them last night.
I think they play when it's a team with no expectations. So if it's like a legit Super Bowl contender, then it's like Mickey Mouse jerseys.
Yeah. But they're candy ass.
Right. Right.
But if they're a shitty team with no expectations, it's like, okay, this is kind of cool. Yeah, this is cool.
Right. All right.
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I mean, I went to bed last night after that game, and I went to bed with a smile on my face because I was like, that ruled, and we get to do it 17 more times. It's pretty cool, yeah.
It's like the best feeling to be like week one's done oh and we get a double header monday night week two which initially i was against because it's like i want that week one i'm so happy they did that because it's like you get so excited for week one football they could give you anything and you'd you'd eat it up now we get week two with a double header mond Monday night and Chiefs Chargers Thursday night. That's incredible.

We have some breaking news about Dak Prescott. Oh, breaking news.

Breaking moves.

His surgery. Whoa, that was an awesome

cow. Holy fuck.

Thank you. His surgery

was a success. Oh, nice.

Okay, so it's breaking news. Good job.
Good job. Nice job The Cowboys are going to be so bad.
Mr. Cowboy Hat.
So bad. The guy in the Cowboy Hat just probably came in and shot his hand.
There you go. Yeah.
It looks better to me. They're going to be – it's going to be fun watching the Cowboys suck for the next month and a half.
Well, Jerry Jones actually did go on the radio today and committed another HIPAA violation and said Dak Prescott um he could be back in like under a month oh so dak prescott's probably waking up from surgery right now reading that and being like uh yeah this is the russell wilson injury when he came when it was a four to six week injury and he came back after three and then sucked for three weeks until his thumb was better yeah in a sick way i kind of think that jerry jones almost likes almost likes it when his starting quarterbacks hurt because it keeps them in the news the entire time. That's true.
And Jerry Jones can go on the radio every week and be like, yeah, I'm expecting Dak to be back next week. And then that's another week of storylines about the Dallas Cowboys.
Cooper Rush time. Cooper Rush.
They shouldn't have cut DiNucci, man. Yeah, yeah.
I feel like Cooper Rush is one of those backup quarterbacks. There has to be – Blake Bortles would be better than Cooper Rush.
Sam Ellinger. Sam Ellinger.
Take him home. Would be better than Cooper Rush.
Big Ben. Would be better than Cooper Rush.
There's got to be guys out there that are better than Cooper Rush. Phil Rivers would be great.
Yeah. He's got the bolo tie.
We'll never hear from Phil Rivers again. He's gone.
I figured that it would take. Cam Newton? Cam Newton, yeah.
I was throwing his name out there. 32 teams have passed on Cam Newton this offseason.
Matthew Berry, send the tweet. It's unreal.
After one game. I do have.
I've got a take that I'm about to drop, but Colin Kaepernick. Ooh not jerry jones is woke well jerry jones i mean he loves headlines what's the fastest way to get there that would be quite some headlines you remember you remember that picture of him kneeling yeah that's an all-time moment i think in nfl history yeah when uh you know the storyline became, who's going to kneel before this game?

And then they did the sky cam diving down and Jerry Jones,

like at midfield looking like fucking captain Morgan,

just taking a big knee,

smiling,

like winking at the camera.

He's like,

I did it.

I solved racism.

It was that one,

Jerry Jones.

It was that one in Ray Lewis,

like sweating,

like,

like profusely sweating and looking like he was actually taking a knee because he was so hung over that he needed to take a knee you know what he said he took two knees yeah jesus yeah that's right so he took the first knee for racism and then the second knee for jesus that's good which one right left i think you gotta go dominant for jesus non-dominant for racism probably yeah i don't know i don't know we'll have to get we'll have to get ready to talk about that yeah never what are you gonna say hank andrew luck yeah that's all struck up we saw him in uh in stanford yeah andrew luck i we're we're still trying to get him on this show.

I would love to talk to him for an extended period of time

because I do think there's going to be some Andrew Luck revision

where it's like, oh, yeah, he was really that fucking good.

And he was.

He was on a – like, his teams were not good.

And they – he was a very good quarterback, Hank.

You don't think so?

No.

You just don't like him because he's compared to Tom Brady.

I don't think he's compared to Tom Brady I don't dislike him I think he's a an interesting dude kind of a goofball but he has you know he's a he's a physical specimen he didn't he didn't win that much I mean he took them to the playoffs they won a playoff game I think they were down by like championship game weren't they like down by 21 points in the playoffs and they beat the Chiefs? They came back or did I get that wrong? Those teams sucked. Those Colts teams sucked.
But they went to the playoffs. Weren't those Peyton Manning's teams? No, they completely over.
Remember they went. Did they go? No, they went one in 15 or something.
Yeah, they had a season in between. Yeah, they had a season in between that was just like a complete teardown.
I mean, he's a nice guy. He actually is a perfect.
But what you're saying with the revisionist history, he wasn't one of the greats. He retired early.
Yeah, he did retire early. I'm saying people will say, oh, he was way better than we gave him credit for.
That's the revisionist. I feel like he got a lot of credit.
He got a lot of credit, but he also— Everyone got sour from him walking away. He went 2-14 in 2011.
The Colts did without him. And then he came back, or then Andrew Luck came to the Colts.
He got drafted, yeah. Chuck Pagano had cancer that year, you remember? And he had to leave.
Bruce Arians took over, and then Andrew Luck went on an absolute tear with Bruce Arians in the second half of that season. Yeah.
Eli Manning reminded us last night Peyton got cut cut. That's true.
He did get cut. Interesting.
Yeah. So that, I mean, that does change how, you know, the Colts were always, the Colts fans were always going to cheer for him when he went back there, but it does change the dynamic versus what Russell Wilson, Andrew Luck is exactly what Russell Wilson should aspire to be in terms of embracing your inner dork.

Yeah, he's a... Being yourself.

He's a huge dork, but we love him.

We love Andrew Luck.

Because he's authentically dork.

I think he has a good perspective on life.

Right.

It goes back to what we were saying about Coach O the other week, where Andrew Luck got...

He probably collected close to $100 million in salary, right?

And then he's like, you know what?

My heart's not really into getting hit by 300- dudes every week i'm injured all the time i can just read books and hang out with my family right i think i'll do that yeah yeah i think i'll do that um okay anything else from sunday or looking ahead uh great i was just looking at the slate it's i'm happy that we don't have nine games at one o'clock because that was sensory overload too much and the monday night football doubleheader does alleviate some of that week one all games of 425 they need to do that every week it's not is it not nope we have 405 yeah they fuck gamblers over because we all just sit there being like wait when is this game starting when is this game starting yeah it was amazing i i don't i'm sure it's a TV thing that we don't know about, but I don't see how those 20 minutes. We have Atlanta, Rams, and Seattle, San Fran at 4.05 Sunday.
The Browns changed their midfield logo. It was the only other update.
What was that? Yeah. We didn't mention that.
That is cool. Brownie the Elf is the new midfield logo.
I like that guy. And the Browns, we forgot to mention, but the browns did get to send the first ever one and oh tweet which is always cool whenever it's like twitter didn't exist when we were last time we were one and oh yeah also shout out um the giants they're above 500 for the first time since 2016 yes that's crazy and the table hype is gonna is so funny in new york like he deserves it because they won the first game but i feel like we've seen this many times before with head coaches in new york like they love joe judge remember that yep they love joe judge to start um all right yeah i mean basically he did he did a good job by going for two right and so that's cool right but let's let's pump the brakes real quick i'm looking at this brownie the elf guy right right quick here at midfield terrible ball security really very bad ball security not good pulling that thing like a loaf of bread not good and they're gonna they're gonna hold a loaf of bread like that we were talking about this on the show or is that on the stream that was on the stream school saying that people say it's like i don't remember the last time i've held a loaf of bread well i usually put it in you put in the basket yeah right but if i threw you a loaf of bread you would hold it high in sight i'd throw you i'd fuck out i would catch it with two hands and then look it into my body yep and then i'd fucking and then if i was on the left you know sideline i'd make sure that i was holding in my left hand just ball security with that loaf of bread um okay let's do hot seat Cool Throne.
Hot Se brought to you by our friends at coors light coors light the best beer out there the coldest most refreshing beer out there those uh bottles cans they turn blue the mountains turn blue when they're cold celebrate responsibly golden colorado coors light is the best beer in the world thank Thank you to Coors Light for sponsoring Hot Seat Cool Throne.

Henry.

My hot seat, we kind of talked about it already, but my hot seat is Seattle.

Just bad sports town.

Ooh.

Why?

Booing your Super Bowl quarterback.

And we didn't talk about this, but I saw online there was people saying, like,

there's a difference between Russell Wilson and Tom Brady

because Tom Brady won six Super Bowls.

Russell Wilson only won one.

That should not matter. One Super Bowl is a Super Bowl.
What would you guys do for a Super Bowl? We just said I would shoot ourselves. I would suck God's dick.
Literally shoot yourself. We'd get shot.
Is that blasphemous? I feel like that might have been over the line. Not if you don't believe in God.
He would probably want it sucked off. And so like that kind of it was gross to see one Super Bowl is plenty.
That should be enough to be a legend in your town forever. And that's why they lost the NBA team.
Wow. It's a bad sports town.
It's a bad sports town. You were being a real piece of shit right now.
I can't watch that clip and be like, that's a bad sports town. Now it makes a little more sense.
I've been trying to be nicer to you, but shut the fuck up. Wow.
Is that wrong? Yeah. That was mean.
Booing a quarterback that won you Super Bowl is right, you're saying? No, I'm saying the dig at the Sonics leaving is... That was too far.
You're going to be put on a hit list. Is that an example of that being a bad sports town yes or no fact or fiction we're back no factor fiction i don't think so booing a quarterback that won your super bowl bad sports if there's such a bad sports town how come they've got their uh state outline on washington commander's mugs what interesting huh what does that even mean did you did you not see the theugs being sold? Mugs? Somebody fucked up and put the state of Washington on officially licensed Washington Commander's mugs.
That, I would do that too. Yeah, definitely.
That makes sense. But no, to your point, I understand why they booed him in a regular season game because he's the opponent.
I didn't think that they were going to boo him, but it's more of like, you're the opponent tonight. We're going to be rooting against you tonight.
And he weaseled his way out of town. Anyone who weasels their way out of town is going to get booed.
Again, I wouldn't boo because I've never had a quarterback like Russell Wilson, but I get it in terms of weaseling your way out of town. He did weasel his way out of town in the truest sense of the, like, if you look up weasel your way out of town, he did it.
Because they didn't want to offer him a big contract? No, I think he wanted out no matter what. Like, I don't think they could have paid him anything and he would have stayed.
All right. Agree to disagree.
Embrace debate. That's for us down.
Okay. You're cool to run.
That was a cheap shot on the Sonics but that's that was my only takeaway it's like all right you know do the what happens if the song has come back they're just gonna boo them like they left did the sonics weasel their way out of town thunder came back as the sonics they'd have to boo yeah like when consistent when kd returned the first time to Seattle, did they boo him? Yeah. They'd have to be consistent.
And then my cool throne is GoldenEye. Oh.
They are re-releasing it on Nintendo Switch. Let's go.
So it's going to be a new. Updated? You guys are dinosaurs.
You played it. I was a little too young to play.
But for the old heads, it's exciting. Yeah.
I mean, Oddjob was the first time I looked at a video game and i was like i see representation yeah i i am that's awesome is it gonna be just updated with the same levels yeah fuck yes so it's just like all you need is nintendo switch i was on when we were flying to iowa city the other day uh brandon has a nintendo switch so i was playing some of the old games and i like, with old games, but I also was like, these games suck. Because, like, video games have come so far.
I was playing Mario, I was like, this is kind of boring. Right.
So, I think the exception that might be Goldeneye. Yeah.
Because Goldeneye... Well, Mario Kart 2 is always played.
Mario Kart's great. Yeah, there are a few classics that always work, but I think even the kids understand.
Billy, as a Zoomer that plays video games, Jake, do you play video games too? Here and there, not as much anymore. I do have a Switch.
I played it a lot. I actually played with Hank Mario Kart during COVID, but not as much.
Do you guys understand how great the GoldenEye video games were? I understand that it was like the first first-person shooter that was good. No, Doom was pretty good.
Yeah, but GoldenEye was iconic. And N64 was also like iconic as well.
I played a ton of GoldenEye. I don't know.
How old are you, Max? I'm 27. Yeah, so not a dinosaur.
Yeah, I'll say that was like one of the big N64 games that was always played in my house. So it's not a dinosaur problem.
It's just Hank's a loser. I guess.
Sounds like Hank didn't have friends to play multiplayer mode with. No, he would just crush Banjo-Tooie.
What? Dragon Ball Z? Yeah, Dragon Ball Z. If they had a video game, I would have loved Dragon Ball Z.
All right. PFT, your hot seat.
Cool throw on. My hot seat.
Good hot seat. Cool throw on Hank.
Good job, Hank Hank way to go my hot seat is uh college ranking systems more specifically the US News and World Report college ranking systems which they come out every year and people get mad about them and there's always like a bunch of people being like oh that's bullshit uh like you know Texas A&M should be way way way higher but yeah did you see them doing their fucking roasts? That was actually, yeah. I shouldn't have said Texas A&M.
They're in my cool throat situation. But the college ranking systems are always like a big debate, and people are always accusing of being like, U.S.
News and World Report rigged. This is not the correct rankings.
And it just came out today that Columbia University provided incorrect numbers on their class size, their faculty degrees, et cetera, et cetera, which led to Columbia being ranked number two incorrectly. They cheated.
They lied on it. And there's no fact checking behind the scenes in this college ranking system.
So now the entire system's fucked up and we need to replace it with something else. The whole system is so funny because how it works works is these colleges they actually just spend money wooing the voters and like bringing them to the campus and paying for nice dinners and all these things just so they can get like the ninth ranking instead of the 11th and then i don't know what happens from there like your alumni feel like your degree means more yeah i think that's what it's about yeah it's the degree means more they can charge more for tuition yep columbia hasn't played anybody though i district the schedule is pretty bad it is bad i we should just make our own college ranking system just based on vibes entirely yeah and it would just be like lsu arizona state arizona state definitely florida vibes i was thinking last weekend like i would have loved to go to Florida.
That seems like a great college.

Yeah.

Just to hang out.

So humid, though.

That's true.

That's more of a big guy problem.

Yeah.

Where it's like, I see, like, when they go, when they show a crowd shot of the swamp,

I'm like, I would die.

Like, I would die. What school stinks at sports, like, overall stinks at sports, but would be the funnest

school to go to?

I mean, Arizona or Arizona State.

Arizona's got basketball.

I think that's, like, a country club. what about um College of Charleston like doesn't even have sports yeah College of Charleston they have a basketball team the Citadel the uh coastal Carolina isn't that in Myrtle Beach ECU yeah yeah oh ECU would be fun for sure ECU is fun oh I mean the answer is Florida Gulf Coast.
Remember those pictures of their campus? Oh, fuck. FAU.
Yeah. Come to FAU.
Boca. Boca Raton.
God, yeah. If I had to do it all over again, I would just apply to FAU.
Be like, fuck it. I don't care what I'm studying in college.
Just have a great time. Just have a good time.
That's really the only point. My cool throne is Texas, the University texas because they were pretty mad coming off this weekend when they got hosed off the the uh non-call for the face mask and the the phantom uh roughing the pastor in the end zone all that shit against alabama it was a tough couple days in austin but then the internet god smiled upon them and released a bunch of videos of texas a&m doing their yell practice which, which instantly made Texas fans be like, all right, at least we're not Aggies.
And then Texas A&M spent all day trying to DMCA every video of their embarrassing whatever cult practice. Like that was...
Cult. If you show that to anyone who doesn't know like American football, you just would be like, that has nothing to do with sports that's just a cult texas a&m is a cult yeah i i say this as somebody that knows a lot of aggies i lived in texas for about 10 years they're a cult a lot of them are nice people but nice people who are in a cult what was the thing the guy was doing where he like he would do that that's the horse laugh oh my god they've got an entire they have an entire uh like entire catalog and encyclopedia of different hand motions and body motions that these yell leaders have to make at certain points.
They're just cults. They're cults.
And I do love the Texas A&M when you make fun of them. They're like, you can make fun of Texas A&M for a million different reasons, but they'll always be like number one in agricultural sciences.
We're like, okay, great job. Good job.
I'll take, I'll take my dog to you when it gets sick. Yeah.
We're talking about weird shit that you do before the football games. We don't care about the actual degree here.
I'm sure it's a good school. And they also, they, they claim weird national championships that don't exist.
Yeah. Like 1920s.
I think they had to actually take down national championships off the side of their stadium that they tried to claim sometime in the 1940s. They got fact-checked on their stadium.
Yeah, weird, weird times always at College Station. All right, my hot seat is anyone who doubts the Jets because Billy's football coach, Robert Salah, went in front of the media on Monday and said, talking about the turnaround the Jets are going to have, he said, I know it's going to happen, and we're all taking receipts on all the people who continually mock and say that we're not going to do anything.
I'm taking receipts, and I'm going to be more than happy to share them with all of you when all is said and done. He went on to say it's exhausting.
It's exhausting for the coaches. It's exhausting for ownership.
It's exhausting for you guys to continue write about losers. It's exhausting for the fans.
It's exhausting for everybody and nobody wants to lose. There's nothing worse than being sold a bill of goods on the future.
Everybody wants things now. It's like the instant coffee age.
I will put myself down as a receipt. He can absolutely come back and dunk on me when the Jets become a Super Bowl team.
But yeah, he's taking receipts. He's letting everyone know.
I also liked that he started this entire diatribe with with the turnaround i know it's going to happen and then said there's nothing worse than being sold a bill of goods on the future so kind of doing both there he's uh it's gonna happen he also said that he's looking forward to i think shoving it down our throats yep he's looking forward to that day i'm yeah i'm i'm fully gonna admit like i have been a doubter on the New York Jets. It's not my finest moment.
I guess that goes hand-in-hand with doubting Geno Smith, too. It's kind of like a Venn diagram, exactly one circle on that one.
So my throat is ready to get it jammed down by Coach Salah. He's going to have a Berman wallet of receipts.
He's going to actually die buried in receipts because maybe the Jets will be good this year. I don't think so.
But if they're not good this year, he could get fired. And if they're not good next year, he definitely will get fired.
So yeah, those receipts. It's tough to say that he must think that the practices he's watching, they're a really good team team because things are about to turn he said that you know he said that you guys don't get to see the things i see yeah right i love whatever that's always a good sign that was the coach is like we've strung together the best practices of our entire year and you guys haven't said anything about it uh kirk ferentz said that about spencer petrus because everyone in iowa is like dude anyone would be better at quarterback and he was like you don't see what we see all week which is essentially saying our other quarterbacks are somehow worse like yes and did you see also bob stoops got tricked on cameo he did a whole cameo basically being like um brian my uh okay all right we'll get to it yeah all right my cool throne is uh the queen's corgis so there was a lot of talk about where the Queen's Corgis are going to go.
Turns out. Best groomer.
Okay, so Billy did the joke. There we go.
Billy took the joke. Wait, what did Billy say? He said, best groomer.
I was going to say that, but yeah. Prince Andrew.
So, yeah. I don't get it.
Yeah. Because he's a pedophile.
Oh, okay, got it. Yep.
Okay, so go ahead. How cool would it be if the dogs just ate Prince Andrew? Yeah.
If they just fucking attacked him. If the queen had been training them her entire life to be like, okay, once I put you in the room with my pedophile son, I want you to go for his throat.
Kill him once and for all. Death by Corgis would be the most adorable murder ever.
It would be. Yeah.
You'd just be trying to boop him back while they just shoot on your face. I wouldn't mind getting killed by Corgis.
No. Enough of them? It would probably take a while.
Yeah, it would take a while, but it would be snuggly. Yeah, it would.
It would be very, very nice. All right, Bill, your hot seat, Cool Trone.
My hot seat's the gold zone. As we saw, Hackett's gold zone didn't really do well in the red zone.
No. And my other hot seat.
Two fumbles on the goal line. Yeah.
That was tough. And then my other hot seat is Putin.
Turns out Russia's not doing too well. Yeah, so is Ukraine in Russia now? Ukraine has gotten to the Russian border.
They took back Izyum and they totally duped the Russian generals into moving their troops farther south and then they took the part in the north. Yeah.
Shit. It is kind of like a Broncos-Seahawks situation with Russia and Ukraine.
Like, everyone expecting it's going to be a total cakewalk, and then Ukraine puts up a pretty badass resistance. They get to the goal line, then they fumble the ball.
And shout out all the people who have kept Ukraine is their twitter avatar because that that that did it i'd say that the 50 the sunflower emojis is what did it for me that and also like the i love seeing the updates where like a russian troop would have they like ukraine was getting intel by russian troops like leaving their airpods places that was great they're just like yeah they're right there because we can see their phones also they had that one dude it was i think it was a like former advisor to putin that went on some way it was whatever the equivalent of the russian version of the view is where they just have like a bunch of former generals sit around and talk about russia and one guy was like we're losing this war and then the rest of the panel just looked at him like dude what the fuck are you saying don't say that you know this is you're on television right now it's like no i mean look at it we're losing we've lost all these guys and everybody's like no i think you have bad morale yeah you have bad morale fix that um okay uh jake or do you have another cool throne billy my cool throne was just nfl vet twitter uh there's a whole argument between micah parsons and like a bunch of offensive linemen yeah he got killed by leonnette, and now you just have old dudes arguing about blocking, and I just think it's awesome. I love offensive line Twitter because they are by far the most cohesive unit on Twitter because they're like, we all basically spent a decade of our life being morbidly obese so that we could get embarrassed one out of every 40 times and people shit on us.
now we're fighting back and we're not going to let you guys tell us that we're being wrong when we fuck someone up with like a semi blindside block yeah that's great it is great to watch i there was one thing that i wanted to talk about from the weekend i think it was in the steelers bangles game i wanted to shout out the steelers offensive line i know that they stunk and a lot of people are on them but sprinting downfield to spike a ball at the end of a game as an offensive line unit when you're exhausted i haven't really thought about that before you got to run like 30 yards in a dead sprint get there and then maybe the hardest part is you have to get completely still after you get up to the line of scrimmage before you hike the ball.

That's got to be the hardest thing in the world to do that nobody talks about.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That sucks.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

Jake, hot seat, cool throw.

And then we'll get to Ryan Fitzpatrick.

Great interview in studio.

My hot seat is the MLB stats department. Oh, so the Los Angeles Dodgers, obviously unreal this year.

They have 96 wins.

Yes.

And they thought they clinched the postseason berth on Sunday. They had champagne.
They did a toast in the locker room. The MLB then announced an internal error and said, nope, your magic number is one.
What? So they won again yesterday, and they clinched for the second time. Did they do more champagne? I don't know.
Can't you just look at those standings? Yeah yeah i guess there was a tiebreaker issue or but they clinched twice it was like a doomsday scenario where if exactly certain games had gone the wrong way then they would have had to play like a playing game or something maybe yeah they got postseason hats on sunday too before they i would have celebrated twice i would have said you know what double champagne yeah quick quick side note but mike trout hitting seven yeah seven games in a row with the home run is insane we're doing a i mean people will know by now what happened but we're doing a boost tonight in the barstool sportsbook will he hit the eighth because it is it is so mike i thought i was saying when he hit five in a row yeah it's so it's so mike trout that it's also not a big story yeah yeah yeah uh my cool throwing big cat you hinted Cat. You hinted at it.
Fans who are trolling. So next level trolling.
Someone had Bob Stoops, former Oklahoma coach, and Fran McCaffrey, Iowa basketball coach, made cameos intended for football offensive coordinator Brian Ferenc being like, it'll be okay. Yeah.
Cheering up. And it went viral.
Yeah. Bob Stoops was like, you know, I've been in this situation with family members.
Maybe you should just go out on your own. Go back to New England, which is where he started his coaching career.
It was great. It was great.
So, yeah, that's the proper use of Cameo, to have them subtly do something like that. Okay, should we get to our interview? Ryan Fitzpatrick, great interview in studio.
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Vegas this weekend, Triple G, Canelo, Trilogy. I'll be on the call.
Make sure you tune in. It's going to be really fun.
The fight's going to start right when a lot of the college football games are ending or over. So beautiful Saturday.
I did it last Saturday. Watch college football all day and then watch Nate DS.
This is a perfect time to end your Saturday night with a great boxing fight trilogy. It might be the last time we see Triple G.
So and Canelo's coming off a loss. Going to be great.
All right. Here he is.
Our good friend Ryan Fitzpatrick. Okay.
We now welcome on recurring guest Ryan Fitzrick. You can see him now on Prime on Thursday Night Football.
He's going to be part of the pregame show and postgame, I'd assume. So doing it all, Ryan, I mean, you know what the first question is going to be.
This whole entire interview is to just get you out of retirement. You're not retired, right? You're not actually retired.
I'm actually retired. No.
You saw the way I sat down in the couch. My hip is still, you know, it's not great.
Come on. We actually just before you walked in, we did like a little quick list through our brain of how many teams could use Ryan Fitzpatrick right now.
It's a long list. Okay.
Let's cut to the chase, though. The Buffalo Bills, you love the Bills.
You were at their playoff game last year. You still feel that deep connection to the city of Buffalo.
Josh Allen needs a backup going into the playoffs. He's going to be fine.
I'm not saying he gets hurt. Definitely not, but he's like, you know what? We need a little Fitzmagic just to be on the sidelines as we're making a playoff push, $3 million, would you do it? No.
For multiple reasons. Money, you know, whatever.
We can throw that out of the equation. You're well off.
You went to Harvard. Still haven't used a degree.
But let's think about, and you know the history, some of the history of my career. Everywhere I've been where i've been a backup the starter goes down everywhere it doesn't matter where i go it doesn't matter who it is it doesn't matter the circumstance we've got a broken jaw we've got dislocated hips we've got liz frank injuries i would not want to do that to my boy josh that's interesting isn't it that? That everywhere you go, just the starter happens to get.
But what if we use this power for good and like a fan base? I don't know. Let's just say the Minnesota Vikings are like, hey, we're kind of sick of Kirk Cousins.
Let's bring in Ryan Fitzpatrick and then we could be done with Kirk Cousins. We can pick off quarterbacks if you want, but Josh wouldn't be one that I'd want to pick off.

Okay, so you're actually done.

No way.

You are going to be the guy that we mention five years from now being like, you know who's still out there? Ryan Fitzpatrick. And he could probably sling it for you for a few weeks.
Well, so when I got benched in Miami and Flores started doing the, hey, let's put him in at the end of the game thing. I did not practice.
I was there. I watched.
I helped. I was active in meetings.
I did not practice and throw a ball in practice from the time I got benched until the time you saw me play in those games, Denver and Las Vegas, because I wanted to prove to myself that I could come out of the stands at any point and play.

And I did, and I proved it to myself.

So maybe in five years, I'm feeling better, and I get a call.

You're the new Favre.

Yeah.

We're going to send out an order.

Yeah, stay away from all the welfare situations and taking tax money.

But you're the new Favre.

You're the new Favre now. You're rich.
You don't need to do that. But you actually do owe me a year in D.C.
I do. I gave you a solid 13 plays.
Yeah, there were good 13 plays. Yeah, it was fun.
Nice pass to McLaurin on that one. How many passes did you complete as a Washington commander? I don't know.
Three of six, maybe? Let's look it up. I was looking forward so much to that season.
A couple checkdowns. I was, too.
And we talked right before the season started when you guys were doing your bus tour or whatever. And I was, too.
And I was especially excited to play with a guy like Terry. Yeah.
You know, Curtis ended up being hurt for a lot of the year. But, yeah, there was some some good energy and then it just went out the window right away so if Carson uh knock on wood uh he's not gonna sprain both ankles this year but if he gets like COVID and monkeypox at the same time or whatever uh and we need you to come in for one game three million dollars Washington Commander two games no three of six fifty uh 13 yards three of six for 13.
That's not bad. Yeah, that's because if you – so let's say they let me throw 60 passes that game.
Then it would have been 30 for 60 for 150 yards. That's pretty nice.
Yeah. I mean, now we're talking.
Touchdown to interception ratio, zero to zero. Yeah.
Yeah, that's huge. Yeah.
Is there a rush in there or no? Let's see. You probably ran at the safety.
You always love running at the smallest guy on the field. One rush for two yards.
Yeah. Is that where you broke your hip? No, I got sacked and broke my hip.
Yeah. I mean, that injury, that's not an injury you hear for people in their 40s, 30s, 20s, whatever.
That's a significant injury. That's like a, oh, Nana broke her hip.
She's going to die. Yeah.
So I tried to avoid pneumonia. Yeah.
Was it, though, when it happened, were you like, I know it's a broken hip. This sucks.
Well, so I didn't fracture my hip. Subluxed it, and then it was the head of my femur that was the, the issue.
But it starts, it was six to eight weeks from the original image, and then four weeks later they went in, and it was much worse, the health of the head of my femur. And so then once I started talking about, like, hip replacements and whatever else, it got a little bit scary to where it was, like, okay.
Yeah. This is, we're looking at the rest of my life now.
I got a really cool here i did uh prp shot i did stem cells and then if you remember and i know pft you do the building got raided by the dea as i was getting my treatment like yeah not i wasn't physically in there when it happened but um they took the top trainer and the second trainer away and didn't replace him for a while, so then I just had to go elsewhere for treatment. You get a nice little taste of what it's like to play in Washington.
It's such a clown show sometimes in the front office that you forget all the stuff that has happened to that team over the last, I don't know, just three years. I completely forgot that their office got raided by the DEA fully.
Yeah, so that was kind of a blip it was a real blip on the map when it comes to it but yeah so that must have been really really strange as a player you're looking around like where do i get treatment now are you just on your own after that yeah so i went in uh nobody really had known what happened i the guy that would treat me i thought it was a covid situation And I said, oh, because of covid everybody was real hush hush uh and then it went on for a couple days and slowly we kind of figured out what happened um but they didn't they weren't sure if he's going to be back or not so they didn't replace him with anybody and so i was sitting there looking around the training room like i i need treatment i I need help here. So I had to go elsewhere.
I sought help down the street somewhere. That's nuts.
You'll always be a football team in my book. Football team for life.
Is that how you say it? I don't know if I never got used to it. Once a football team, always a football team? Yeah.
Teamer. Would you consider yourself like Bill for life? Yeah.
What would be the – What set do you claim? You know what? So this was a tough one for me because there was a little bit of chatter after I retired of, hey, is he going to retire a Bill? I think when I go to bed at night, if I was to think about myself in a jersey, it would be in a Bill's jersey, but it wasn't really the story of my career career the story of my career was that i bounced around everywhere and i played on a bunch of different teams and so um even though like that fan base like those are my people um i decided that i wasn't going to retire with a particular team just because i played on so many and that's more of my story you should sign with a new team you never played with and retire with them. That would be cool.
That would be cool. That would be like Patriot.
You've been in every other team in that division. Yeah, I didn't get to complete that one.
Yeah, you didn't get all, like, what, the Infinity Stones? Yeah, collect them all. Yeah, yeah.
So you're in media now. Are you ready for media? Because we can give you tips, but you're with the big boys now.
You think playing in your little football league is hard. The media is a different animal.
Well, I know there's going to be a learning curve. I mean, I've done one preseason game.
So I do about an hour pregame, and then we do a tight halftime show. We've got a tight postgame for about 10 minutes.
Then we get to the post-postgame, which is like what I'm most looking forward to because it is like, again, one preseason game is very tight. Like it's little 8-second, 10-second, you know, there's a producer in your ear saying, okay, shut up, next one.
And this post- post post it'll be the 30 minutes after the post game show is going to be more freewheeling setting up the weekend of football games and that's what i'm really excited about so have you have you like sat down and studied the whole league or are you able to go off the knowledge that you had from your career so i i will say um well and you guys could tell me i guess better than i know already but like you have to study you got to be all over it no no you do well basically you just pick no but you watch but you watch games and then you say oh yeah we watch games but then we take like all right if this one guy does one thing one time he's either good or bad for the rest of his career yeah for sure pick one team that one team that you hate and just call them frauds. Well, my biggest thing is I'm such a quarterback hater.
I hate them until I like them. They've got to win me over, and so I don't want to spew a lot of hate early.
I want to be a little bit neutral on some of these guys early, but then I'll be spewing as the season goes on, I'm sure. So have you watched all the young quarterbacks and like studied tape on them i mean i've watched them like you've watched them i don't i don't like richard sherman grinds he's like me and him are gonna be sitting next to each other like grinds over the you know all 22 tape and is just and as a player you do that but for me now i almost like almost like watching the TV copies better.
What is the audience

seeing? What are they hearing?

And then, yeah, I could have my takes

from that, but he's grinding

over that. I'd much rather

just watch the game unfold on TV

and formulate my opinions that way.

The Nickelodeon games, too. You're going to get to see

the Slime Zone for the first time. You're going to love

watching football on television.

I've never been able to do it. I'm envious

of you because you get to experience this for

the first time. A Sunday that's just

I'll see you next time. slime zone for the first time you're gonna love watching football on television i'm actually i mean i've never been able to do it i'm envious of you because you get to experience this for the first time a sunday that's just like you on your couch watching red zone oh my god do you know about the red zone what is that you get to see every touchdown it's incredible really yeah as it happens live yeah scott hansen it's gonna be you're the king of the red zone for a while where it'd just be like late.
Your team was down 14. Here comes Ryan Fitzpatrick.
Sometimes, there were a few times I think we got into it with Siciliano because he was like, and Ryan Fitzpatrick has the Bucs in the red zone and there's an interception. Yeah.
And then we'd be like, god damn it. Yeah, you can't do that.
He set you up. Yeah, he can't have it.
You're a believer in Jameis though aren't you? I am. You know what, though? You know what? Well, yeah, I know you guys like his videos and everything.
But Jameis won't have won. I don't know if you've read the literature.
You know what? We can give you a hot take on Jameis right now. Yeah.
Like, the thing, it's almost difficult for me to watch him play now because he's not really playing his brand of football.

It's so tame and almost like they've scaled it back so much for him, not in terms of mental capacity and what he can do, but with the short passes

and try to make him Drew Brees.

That's not really who he is.

You've got to let Jameis free.

You've got to let him be.

We don't need 30 picks in a year, but Jameis, 15 picks,

is That's not really who he is. You've got to let Jameis free.
You've got to let him be. We don't need 30 picks in a year, but Jameis, 15 picks is okay because he's going to throw the ball down the field and make plays, but some of it is tough to watch now because it's not even really the same guy.
He is our last hope because we lost Big Ben. We lost Phillip Rivers.
Eli had some unintentional comedy. Jameis is the king of unintentional comedy at this point for us.
So we need him to be Jameis. We need him to just do it.
He's great because he does have these plays where you just laugh out loud because you've never seen a human body flail out in the ways that it does. But then he also has the plays breath away where he you know he spins around four times in the pocket and then throws the ball into quadruple coverage and the guy comes down with a touchdown yeah it's incredible so we need jameis i agree we need to free jameis because he's bet he's at his best when he is doing stuff like i mean 30 and 30 i know you say you don't need 30 interceptions, but I kind of need...
That's incredible.

30 touchdowns and 30 interceptions. It's a lot more fun to watch.

I don't think you'll ever see that again.

Yeah. It was special.

Alright, so give us a hot take about a quarterback. Media guy.

You're

going to get backlash, too. Yeah,

I mean, whatever I say, I'm going to get backlash.

Can you give me a guy to talk about

or do you just want me to like... Let's talk about Joe Burrow.
Who are you into? Talk about Joe. So Joe Burrow is a great example of a guy I wanted to hate.
I wanted to hate, you know, at LSU, he had all the talent. Like, look at who he was throwing to at LSU.
He comes in, lights it up. Like, okay, now you're going to come in.
You're going to have a hard time. This is the NFL, dude.
He didn't have a hard time. It was like he just picked up where he left off, you know, the injury and whatever else, but then he picked up where he left off in college.
And, like, football is not easy. Playing quarterback is not easy.
And Joe Burrow, like, makes it look very, very easy. But that dude throws it down the field.
Like, he's not one of the – a lot of these new age quarterbacks is like efficiency and we're throwing the five yard passes and like it's Burroughs or Burrow. Is there an S? Burrow.
So like Burrow throws the ball down the field and his, the core of receivers that he has right now, like nobody really talks about T Higgins, but my God, if you watch that dude, the way he catches the ball, incredible. And so Joe Burrow, to me, is a guy I wanted to hate but absolutely love watching play.
I'd say he's in my top three. Okay, give us the rest of the top three.
I always have to leave a dangle top three. I can't tell you the other two.
Okay, all right, so tell me. I like that you've got five guys in the top three.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's smart.
I don't ever want to define the top three. What about Justin Herbert? Because I like Justin Herbert, but he also hasn't been in the playoffs yet, and it feels like a lot of the media is anointing the Chargers, and it's like, I want to see it.
I want to see them win games that they're supposed to win, win games in different ways. I want to see it before I'm like, yeah, this team is a Super Bowl team.
Yeah, and so our first game is going to be week two, September 15th, Thursday night, and we've got the Chargers and the Chiefs. And so we're looking at two of the top three, top five.
Ooh, okay. Two of the three top five quarterbacks.
Two of the top three, five, eight quarterbacks.

So I went out to L.A., and I was doing a little thing with Justin Herbert to talk with him to set up the game and whatever else.

One of those fun media.

He doesn't do media.

Yeah.

He just doesn't.

And it's not like – I mean, he's a very nice kid.

I met him at the Masters a few years ago. Awesome.
Fun to talk to. As soon as the camera showed up.
No. He was out.
Nothing. Out.
Like, wasn't saying anything. Wasn't interacting.
Like, people are diving in front of my questions to, like, answer for him. It was odd.
But he's all ball all the time and he is much bigger like if you see the dude in person I mean he is enormous so you know physically when you look at him versus other guys that maybe were drafted ahead of him one in particular like physically I don't know that there's much of a comparison but I think a lot of the, you know, some of the stuff you heard about his personality and being an introvert and, you know, standing alone at practice at Oregon and not talking to anybody. That was a huge turnoff for some of these teams.
But he's obviously exceeded expectations very early with the way he plays. So question off of that, you, you know, were in the NFL for so so many years would you tell young guys like hey lighten up would you try to tell people because there does feel there there are definitely some quarterbacks that and this goes for every sport where the athletes feel like i don't want the media is the enemy i don't want to be a part of this i don't want to be like you only have a certain shelf life of people wanting to ask you questions you'd think think like at some point, like, hey, let's let's have some fun with it.
Would you tell guys to do that or no? Well, so Justin Herbert is a great example. And I didn't really get to talk to him after, you know, the cameras are done rolling of like people want to see you.
They want to know about you because you're so dang good at throwing the football and playing quarterback like you don't have to be fake for the media just be yourself it's okay if cameras are there but just be yourself because people are so interested in you the human being and when people can see that human side of you like it just makes it more interesting and makes people want to root for you so my biggest thing with young guys was like you have to be yourself.

You have to be authentic because if you're trying to be somebody you're not,

if you're doing the social media stuff and it just in the locker room,

it comes across as fake, then it's not going to work out for you.

So be yourself.

But this is a profession you have to take serious,

but it's also something you need to enjoy.

We're going to get back to Ryan Fitzpatrick in a second. Before we do.
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All right, here's a big media question for you. Deshaun Watson, talk about it.
Who? Go for it. Deshaun Watson.
No, you don't actually have to talk about this. You don't have to get into it.
I think we've said everything that needs to be said. You were ready to do it, though.
Yeah, you were. Well, he's not going to be in our game.
We've got Pittsburgh-Cleveland early, and so I'm going to have to talk more about Jacoby Percet, I think. Yeah, okay.
That'll save everybody. But there's another guy that you played with.
I think you alluded to him a second ago. Tell us for the Tua believers out there.
Tua Non. I'm a member of Tua Non.
Big Cats and Tua Non. Wow.
Yeah, expect us. I'm too agnostic, I think.
I don't know. I don't know what to expect about him.
Okay. But just give somebody something to look forward to.
Like, what does Tua do better than most quarterbacks can do? Be careful because we're listening. No, I get it.
I get how dicey of an opinion every opinion is around Tua. So if you're a top-ten quarterback, you have to have at least one trait that is absolutely special, something you can do that really nobody else can do.
Josh Allen, I think we all see the arm talent. We see the way he can scramble and run, the hits that he can take, the hits he can deliver.
Herbert, physically, same thing. With Tua, it's not the arm strength.
It's not the ability to run. It's not the ability to scramble or get out of trouble.
So what is it? People would say, well, he's a winner. Tyreek Hill said he's the most accurate quarterback I've ever seen.
Now, when I first saw Tua, what popped out to me, because it's hard for a young quarterback to come in and do this, anticipation and accuracy. Those are the things that he has to be elite at, and I think that he is very, very good at, very accurate and can anticipate.
The problem is sometimes you have to create, and he's not going to be able to scramble, and he'll be able to scramble, get out of trouble, and get you five yards, but he's not going to be able to scramble around, escape the pocket, and make the big plays down the field. So he has to take what he has that's elite, is his accuracy, and hopefully as he gets better is decision-making, and he has to be the best in the NFL at it because he's limited in some of those other ways.
That's a great answer. So off of that, if you had to rank what you would want in a quarterback, what's number one? Is it always arm talent? No.
The reason that I think Josh Allen is the best quarterback in the NFL because all of these guys are talented. They all have strong arms.
If you can throw the ball 60 yards, which they all can, how many times are you going to see Josh Allen throw the ball 80 yards in a game? Never. Maybe we'll see him in warm-ups throwing it at the goalpost or something.
But as long as you can put the ball 60 yards on the money, usually you're not throwing it much farther than that. But for me, and the reason that some of these guys really bug me, and the reason that I love a guy like Josh Allen, we've got the talent, he's also the dude that sits in the locker room, and he's just a dude.
He can just be. Carson Palmer, for me, when I was young, watched the way that he was, he's just a dude he can just be Carson Palmer for me when I was young watch the way that he was he's just a dude and he was a Heisman Trophy winner he was a number one pick but everybody loved just being around him and that that like if the leader of your football team can do that and is that human being then it just resonates with everybody and sets a tone in the building so Josh isn't't going to have his private office.
Like I think maybe a Denver quarterback now has his private office and doesn't shower with the team. Russell Wilson doesn't shower with the team? No, I don't know that.
It sounds like you're breaking some news here. Hypothetically, there are certain guys that just – Russell Wilson is afraid to shower.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not trying to create news.
This not trying to create news I'm not trying to create news here all I'm saying is like if you've got guys that are so important and put themselves as so important that they now are separating themselves from the locker room which is the most important part of a team then they fall down on my list a little bit would it be fair to say that the quarterback doesn't have to be the leader of the team but it's a hell of a lot easier if he is yeah and I think we're gonna see this year in LA with the Chargers Justin Herbert is the leader of that team because of his talent right but he is not a vocal leader he he can have people follow him by the way that he plays but he's not the leader in that locker room in terms of the way that he presents himself or talks or you know he's not going to get up and give a speech before a game and even if he did like that's not him like yeah even for some of these other guys like if it's not you then it's not going to come across as real um it makes it easier if the quarterback is that person yeah so three guys that fall into that list you mentioned josh allen i think most people say patrick mahomes falls in that list too and lamar jackson absolutely beloved in that locker room so um we're going to do the media thing where we make you pick one and by implication you're also disrespecting the other two that you don't pick yeah so if you were to build start a team from scratch right now you're building around one of those guys for the future who are you going with your choice but choices were lamar josh and patrick patrick i mean i i'll go josh just because of what i just said about him i will say um i'm super excited to watch Patrick Mahomes this year without Tyreek because, obviously, we know how special Kelsey is. We know the relationship they have there, golfing buddies, and hanging out and all that, which is important.
Relationship off the field, important on the field. Cooper Cup realized that.
Best friends with Matthew Stafford. Breakfast club.
We were early on that. Breakfast Club.
And look what targets start to go up a little bit. You start to get him his coffee like targets.
So that really does translate to the field a little bit. But I would just say Kansas City is going to be super interesting this year because I don't know.
Andy Reid is magical. Patrick Reid.
Or Patrick Reid. Oh, my God.
Patrick Mahomes. The excavator.
Patrick Reid steals money from his teammates. Patrick Mahomes is absolutely magical.
So, like, we will see what happens there. But they're obviously going to win at least ten games.
But, you know, I don't know how far they can go. Is Mahomes your two in the league? Second best quarterback? Yeah, yeah.
So Brady and Rodgers not in your top three.. No, they both are.
You're just tricking me. My top three, Aaron Rodgers and Tom Brady are definitely in my top three.
And Mahomes, and Allen, and Burrow. And Joe Burrow, top three.
What about Lamar? Yes, Lamar is also top three. I like that.
This is smart. I will say, because we were doing this uh me richard sherman tony gonzalez andrew whitworth and carissa thompson we're all kind of having this discussion and there's definitely like a once you have to get to like number 10 yeah then it becomes difficult yeah because there's a clump of like six of them uh you know like car and cousins and where you're like there's six of those guys that aren't in the category we're talking about right now but like car's actually a guy that is slowly moving in the right direction for me that i dislike for a long time yeah really to like wow you gotta make a you gotta make a beard bet i feel like that's something you have to do in media now.
It's like, I will shave my beard. But I think me and you did something.
We made some bet last year. If you want to play off games.
And you had a hell of a half. Well, yeah.
I mean, it was that first quarter. We came out.
I think we kicked a field goal even maybe. Yeah.
Took an early lead, I think. That was tough.
I wanted to go back to something you said about the locker room and how important it is. Do you think, like, obviously football has evolved, and the way we talk about it has evolved, and people are a lot smarter about how they talk about football, analytics, everything.
Do you think that human element still trumps everything else when it comes to numbers? Because that's the part that always interests me about sports is, like, letdown games or that has no chance everyone wrote them off but they're able to do something like the locker room and how it comes together is that would you say that's more important than you know numbers and all these like hey when should we go on fourth down and everything yeah yeah i think it is and that's you see teams every year and the charters are a good example we're going to rev revamp the defense. So they bring in Mac, and they bring in the run stuffer from L.A.

They bring in all these names, J.C. Jackson.

But there's a culture in the locker room, and it's all got to fit.

And so for me, when I look at it and I'm looking at teams,

you need those pillars, those guys.

We'll use another example since I've been talking about the Bills a lot. Let's say Baltimore is an example.
Lamar Jackson is a pillar on that team. Who else on that team is their pillar? Who are their guys on defense? Who are their other guys on offense? Because as soon as people come in andimore on defense had a great culture for a long time like there's a standard that everybody else has to live up to and there's a way that you need to act in the locker room and there's a way that you need to act when you go on the road and these cultures and locker rooms are so important and it's hard from the outside looking in to get a feel or sense for a lot of that what coach because the Ravens I would argue is very much Harbaugh like similar to the Steelers where the Steelers like the Tomlin is the culture and what he said so what coach did you have where it was like the culture and almost the pillar was the coach not the players as much right so So my career, very interesting in that it was just short stops everywhere.

Right. So, you know, my career, very interesting in that it was just short stops everywhere, basically, right? And if I was there for more than a year, usually there was some coach getting fired.
And so I had so much turnover. When I was in Cincinnati, Marvin Lewis had been there for a while and still was there after I left for a while.

So maybe he was one that I had.

Mike Munchak, when I was in Tennessee, a guy that was a great player at Penn State

and then a Hall of Fame player in the NFL and then goes on to be a good coach,

he, for me, it was like when I walked in that building, just from his presence, okay, I got it. I know what the standard is.
This guy's all business. And I was there for a year, and he got fired after that year.
So, you know. Yeah.
But, I mean, we talked about going with the Titans this year. Everyone's like, oh, they're kind of going the wrong direction.
And I keep going back to – But Vrabel is a coach that it seems like every time you write off the Titans, he finds a way to get the most out of his team. Yeah, I think that's a great example.
And I was with Vrabes in Houston when he was just the linebacker coach. But he was one of those guys very early on you could put your finger on and say, okay, this guy's going to be head coach.
It's just a matter of time, whether it's going to be three years, five years, like this is it. And for a guy to be able to play at a high level like he did and then go and become a coach.
First of all, just to have the want to. I'm sure he made plenty of money to be like, OK, I want to coach this game and to do it with the passion that he has.
He's also a culture guy where you walk in and you're like wow like this okay i know

what to do like i'm looking at you this is it yeah would you say uh chan gailey was the was he the fitzpatrick whisperer like he was you and him were you were together what three times we were together three times uh so you know chan and i met when he was hired in buffalo in 2010 vicious three-way quarterback battle between me,

Trent Edwards, and Brian Brom. Yep.
You know, and it was just every day. I remember.
Yeah. Just battling.
Yeah, Big Cat's two and on. You're for Chan.
Yeah. Yeah.
So I didn't start the first two games that year, and then I did for the next three years. But the interesting thing, so Chan, for me, is my favorite coach I've ever had, and a lot of that is just his belief in me and the offense that he ran and the way that there was some freedom with players and what we could do.
One of the more bizarre moments of my career, though, I'm in Miami. we go through the tank for two a season, and the offense coordinator gets fired.
Chan gets hired. Like, nobody asked me anything.
Like, I was with the guy for three years. He had been retired and living in Georgia and enjoying his grandkids and golfing.
And, like, you would have thought maybe they just would have asked me, hey, what do you think about this i would have given an answer that i'm giving you like i love chan like he's my favorite coach but like zero zero that is weird it was bizarre yeah you just saw him one day when you walked down the hall you're like oh no they just they told me oh i'm high oh okay hey hey ch Chan. So you probably went through a couple times in the last year and a half or so

when people were trying to figure out, like,

are you the motherfucker that Tom Brady was talking about?

When he said, like, you're keeping this motherfucker.

It turns out you've been vindicated, I think.

I don't think you were the motherfucker.

I think it was Carr.

Yeah.

That seems like a recent one.

That's the most recent thing.

It had to be me.

You think it was you?

Yeah. I feel like Brady respects you.
No, Zero respect. Really? Never shake my hand.
Really? He wouldn't shake your hand? Well, the first time. It just...
I mean, I've told this story before, but it just pisses me off because you're in Buffalo. You're playing New England.
They're kicking our ass every single year. They're beating us, And we finally in 2011 knocked them off.
It was right at the beginning of the season. We had this great start, and he threw five interceptions in the game, which was just wonderful to see.
Every single one of them was wonderful to see and run straight off. Like no handshake, no quarterback, middle of the field, where are the cameras, okay okay stay healthy buddy you know pat me on the head and let me go like just ran straight off so it just it bothered me so much because there was no respect there yeah and so it was like every time I played him after that I was like all right like I at least got like let's make this dude respect me And ended up in New York with the Jets and with Miami beating him both.

You know, the last one was especially sweet because it was the tank for two a year.

It was, you know, start out 0-7.

Is this the worst football team of all time?

They beat us by 40-something points at the beginning of the season.

They needed to beat us to get home field advantage.

And it was his last regular season game as a Patriot.

And I'm going to... points at the beginning of the season they needed to beat us to get home field advantage and they were it was his last regular season game as a patriot and we go and we score at the end of the game and beat him you know and then kansas city gets home field and they win the super bowl did you shake your hand after that one yeah i think so okay yeah i think i probably you earned your respect you finally got it i probably initiated it yes yeah you were probably because you won yeah you sprinted right over to him.
But I think on the last reading of it, it seems like they were talking about Derek Carr. Yeah.
Because he was going to go to the Raiders. Regardless, I'm making shirts that say I am that motherfucker.
Okay, yeah. I don't want to take – if you believe that you're the motherfucker, I think that you are the motherfucker.
Oh, fuel you. Yeah, for Prime.
You'll be ready to go. You just have a chip on your shoulder.
No chip. I just like the funny T-shirt.
So I just don't know if, I'm not sure with Amazon, if on Prime Video can we wear a shirt that says I am that mother? Yes, definitely. No, yes, definitely.
We'll try it out. Yeah.
Definitely can. Great media advice.
That's perfect. Listen to everything we say.
We'll set you in the right direction. Yeah, that's perfect.
You have anything nice you'd like to say about Jeff Bezos? He's got a great body, right? Yeah, he does. He's jacked up.
He's got a great body. But Andy Jassy is now in the driver's seat.
Oh, okay. I'm a couple years behind on my news.
Yeah. All right.
So I had a couple last questions. I think I might have asked you this last year, but I'm going to ask it again because it relates now to media.
Did you know when Fitzmagic was taking over? you like oh here it comes yeah the magic yeah I I really I think so like it really was just like a feeling of invincibility and you know I think peak was Tampa the beginning the beginning of that season in Tampa when Jameis was suspended for the first three games. Like you can even see if,

if you go back to the Pittsburgh game on Monday night when we're losing,

like you can just see it be,

it's injected in my veins and then it comes up into my eyes and it just,

that's it.

It's magic.

It's it's it.

So do you think you'll have that same thing?

Like when you just nail a segment on prime video,

I think so.

So I think once you see me start taking buttons down on my shirt,

like that's when,

you know,

it's,

that's kind of the sign like,

Oh,

this is about to get good here.

It's kind of... on Prime Video on Thursday nights? So I think once you see me start taking buttons down on my shirt,

that's when you know it's kind of the sign, like,

oh, this is about to get good here.

It's coming.

Let the chest hair out. Yeah, I think that's going to be when it's at its peak.

It always bothered me when people said Fitz Tragic,

when it would then go poorly.

And I said that often.

I always said it.

Well, it was part of it.

You didn't have the Fitz Magic without the Fitz Tragic.

Yeah, exactly.

The yin and the yang. Yeah.
So,

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so, so, so, so, so,ville, like a gaming tournament for Madden, and there was the shooting. One of those kids, his gamer tag was Fitzmagic 13 or something and he got shot um and is totally fine now but I reach out to him he was a Jets fan um anyway like we kind of formed a relationship and like good dude and he told me once he said uh it's not magic if it happens all the time.
And I was like, dude, that is such a great way to think about it. That was kind of my career.
It didn't happen all the time. But it's not magic if it does happen all the time.
The highs were so high. If the magic happened all the time, you'd be a Hall of Famer.
Yeah, who wants to do that? Who wants that? No, immortality? You have to do it like a luncheon. What is that? It just doesn't seem interesting to me.
I mean, you know, because you went to Harvard. That's an overachiever move.
Well, and we probably would have lived in the same city. We toured the country.
We had to pack our bags every year, pretty much. That's smart.
You are like the poster child for the Hall of Very, Very Good. You had a very good career and a fun career, too.
Yes, very fun. Well, thank you.
The moments that we had. You mentioned the start of that season in Tampa Bay.
To me, when I think of Fitzmagic, it's actually a play when you were on the Dolphins at the end where you just threw that ball downfield with your head looking backwards. I would say that right there in a nutshell, that encapsulates Fitzmagic.
Could you even see – were you looking behind yourself? Were you looking at the ground as you threw that? How far back was your head? Yeah, it got ripped pretty far back. But, yeah, that was – I thought that was a great – that moment was incredible because that was one of those moments where I got benched early in the year.
I just got thrown in the game against all odds, 18 seconds, and that happens, and we get in field goal range, and we win the game. And then I test positive for COVID the next day, and it was like it just encapsulated my career.
I can never just be normal or steady. It just – That would have been boring, though.
It would have want a normal career yeah you had you were you're one of one fitzmagic one of one well yeah that's a fact appreciate it um all right so my last question is the roback question go to roback.com use code take for 20 off your first purchase qzips hoodies polos everything roback.com r-h-o-b-a.com. Use code TAKE.
I'm going to let you ask the last question, the Roback question. Do you have any questions for us? We're veterans of the media business.
We can give you any advice you want right now. Okay.
Go for it. We'll tell you anything you want.
Have you guys ever interviewed Richard Sherman before? No. You've never.
No. Do we know Sherman? I'm familiar with his work.
Yeah. You're familiar with his work on and on, like not just the football stuff, but maybe some of his takes and whatever else.
Yeah. He's a Stanford guy.
So you have a little. Stanford guy.
You got a rivalry there. Do you know his story that he played receiver and Harbaugh hated him and he moved in? Couldn't catch.
Yeah. He couldn't catch.
He's a lot of people. He couldn't catch.
What do you mean? Well, I guess that's why he got moved to cornerback, right? No, because he could catch. He just – there were some other issues.
But I know that he can catch because I threw him multiple balls. Do you have a favorite interception? Favorite interception.
I'm sure I've got a few. Yeah, I just liked going at a guy like Darrell Revis because nobody ever threw at him, right? And for good reason.
But it was like, well, Stevie, let's see if we can go at this guy. Let's see how that works out.
And a lot of time with Reve, it didn't work out great. But with other guys, it's fun to challenge them sometimes.
I would just say, like, I think this Thursday night football thing, like everybody's all just be authentic, be you, be real. Like, I get that part of it, but I do think me and Sherm, the back and forth, I think will be very interesting because he just sees the game so differently than I do and from a different perspective.
But, I mean, what are some – I want to try to attack, you know, not just his character, but I just want to really be able to attack Sherm. Do we have any – is there something about his hair, about his face, like any physical feature blemishes that I could go after? You could call him – I did love when Patrick Beverly went and called Chris Paul a traffic cone.
So you could just be like, yeah, at the end of your career, you were just a traffic cone out there. There's people running by you.
Yeah, I like that. Just call him something like that.
Just remind him that the only reason that the Seahawks were good is because they cheated every play. They were holding.
Oh, you could call him Seattle. Yeah, Seattle Seahawks.
Yeah. Okay.
These are really good. Thank you, guys.
I mean, just bring up any time there's a run-pass situation that's obviously run. You could just keep hammering them on that.
Yeah. What are you going to do? It's on the two-yard line.
Yeah. Oh, you're going to pass it? That will work.
I'm pretty sure. Didn't he have a Viagra thing? Or is that somebody else in Seattle? I don't know.
That got popped for using Viagra. But that's the other thing is you don't have to actually have facts behind anything you say.
Yeah, you just say it. You learn that quickly, you say it.
And then if you have to correct it, actually, you don't even have to correct it. You just be like, wow, it was a joke.
Oh, yeah. Well, that's great.
No, no, it's great. It's the best way to do media.
Okay, I'll put that in my, that's one of my top three things of advice. Yeah, either you're right or it was just a joke.
Yeah, just kidding. beat yeah i was obviously kidding yeah oh yeah yeah so richard sherman did yeah he he took viagra and i think adderall at the same time okay it's like a hell of a combination yeah yeah just yeah maybe start the first like chiefs chiefs uh uh chargers first thursday night that you're doing just be like damn that game was so much fun i felt like I took Viagra and Adderall at the same time.
Wow. Just dead air.
So it's been a lot of fun getting to know him, though. I didn't know him very well just from playing against him.
That's going to be a great dynamic. Super good dude.
And wait, who's hosting it? It's Carissa? So we've got Carissa Thompson. She's our friend.
She's great. And Tony Gonzalez.
Andrew Whitworthworth kind of be in and out a little bit carissa will check you too carissa's tough man she's she's funny she's very definitely a firecracker yeah for sure yeah kind of a psycho but she no i mean you can talk some of it knows her stuff oh yeah and she was a huge seattle fan growing up um but she's been very fun to get some bias there yeah you gotta be careful bring that up carissa already broke my 11 year old daughter made her cry in an interview like so i'm never gonna let her live that down what'd she do she asked my 11 year old she was wearing a jersey that said fitzmagic on the back and she said what does fitzmagic mean to you which is a tough question that was her initial like not hey lucy nice to meet you i'm carissa it was like what does fitz magic mean to you microphone in her face and she just went eight nine ten seconds and lost it full tears other room like we're seeing a therapist so it's just that's tragic yeah that was that was tough but uh yeah carissa carissa's not not very you know, for my daughters at least. They don't really look up to her at this point.
Well, the first time she came on this show, she kind of did the same thing to us. Yeah, she bodied us.
She just made fun of like the backgrounds in our apartment. She's tough, man.
She killed us. I think she called me poor.
She was like, why do you have a laundry machine behind you? But if you ever get a chance to go out with her she's very fun uh when the cameras are off like hanging out yeah going out to dinner so well i would tell you so maybe the best part about this job if we can call it that is like last weekend we did the thursday night game went to the hotel bar or whatever and al michaels is just holding court like talking and you could just listen to him just his voice i don't care what he's talking about forever but the stories i mean his memory is unbelievable we're talking like the name of the cab driver 40 years ago when he was at a game like he'll give you the exact day and whatever else and it's just being able to just sit back and listen to him has been really fun as well yeah he doesn't eat vegetables at all no veggies just straight up meat no he eats just like dark liquor too yeah he eats dinner during the game he's never had a vegetable in his life that's great it's incredible that's a that's someone i should everyone should look up to yeah i think so too doesn't get talked about enough he's a carnivore he's quite literally the last remaining carnivore he loves me yes yes uh all right well ryan we're rooting for you we're excited to watch you uh maybe we'll come come back at the end of the season let us know how it went yeah um we'll be watching if you mess up we will we'll be on you but don't yeah but just like send me a text or something don't like put it out just alert me first because we're thumbs up it well yeah or thumbs down depending on what you tell me but like we're in this together now okay yeah the first one we'll do off air but then after that we just give me one we have a dedication to our audience yeah just give me one yeah yeah and then after that we're just going i might just you know what we'll do this as a favor to you because we consider you a friend and you're a recurring guest. When you start on Thursday, your first show, we'll just tweet out, did Ryan Fitzpatrick really just say that? And with no context.
Perfect. Yeah.
Yeah, I love that. Get the buzz going off it.
Yeah, yeah. But then.
That would be great. You owe us.
You have to at least give us the first team that calls you. You have to just let us know.
I'll give you the scoop. The second I get a call, I'll give you the scoop.
Let us know because, I mean, you're an econ major, right? Supply and demand right now. There's a big demand for Fitzmagic, and you control the entire supply.
So you can really work that to your own favor. Let us break that.
Let us break that, and then we'll get the buzz going. We're like the mafia.
I think think my oldest son was happy i retired so he didn't have to keep drafting me in fantasy with his first pick so now like he's got a chance this year yeah he definitely can win yeah but we will protect you you're protected you're part of our family now um but yeah we will what is i think 10 15 percent of your salary 15 percent of your salary we got 15 from josh 15 percent of your salary yeah yeah and we will protect you at all costs that sounds great we'll go to the end of the earth to protect you yeah yeah all right so cash or well I'll just board apes you can send it to us and board I'll pay out in prime memberships okay perfect I like that I love that yeah um all right well thanks so much Ryan we appreciate it good luck this year all right thanks guys thank you Ryan Fitzy was brought to you by Visible. Here we talk about the greats.
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visit JD power.com slash awards with Chevy chevy okay we got a new segment alert everyone uh it's the hot the hot new thing everyone's got a quarterback on their show uh midweek we did have ryan fitzpatrick but a current quarterback well no i guess this isn't a current we're gonna we're gonna stick with He might be. Yeah.
You'll have to listen to the interview to find out.

Yeah.

So we have Big Ben.

Talking boot with Big Ben.

Putting on the talking boot.

Putting on the talking boot with Big Ben.

Let's do it.

Okay.

Inside the talking boot with Big Ben.

It's the new hotness.

Every podcast has decided they need a quarterback on once a week to make sure that they're – I don't know what – I actually don't know the reasoning behind it. I think I know the reasoning behind it.
It's because Aaron Rodgers did it. And so I think what we're going to find out is most quarterbacks, you don't really want them as a guest on your podcast once a week.
I think a podcast is sometimes good when there's not a quarterback. I'd agree.
And we did have Ryan Fitzpatrick on, but he's part of the media. I also, I'm very interested to see, and I used to love this move.
My guy, Jay Cutler, he used to do a weekly spot on Waddle and Sylvie every um I think it was maybe Monday or Tuesday and it when the Bears season as it always does hit a low point he would just send Kyle Long or Brandon Marshall so by like the entire second half of the season it was just not him so I wonder like that's that's such a power move to be like yeah I'm I don't really want to talk about all these losses so uh i'm just gonna send someone else so that like let's see which one of these quarterbacks who does a podcast every week is up to uh the don't care attitude to just start sending teammates instead of himself when things just kind of fall apart so i i've got an idea of how we can handle this um because people are going to be like yo why aren't you getting your friends on the show and to be honest with you we haven't asked anybody to do it because it's good when they come on like once or twice a year but again i feel like most good podcasts people listen to them uh for the interviews occasionally but not to have like a third host correct all the time now um my idea was we could either one just steal their audio from the good part and play their audio in our podcast and cuck it that way and take all the good parts for ourself or we could just do like we could ask blake bortles one question per week down for that and we'll have blake bortles on the show every wednesday yeah and just like hit him up ask literally one question have him answer and then hang up and that's it that's our weekly Blake Bollison on the show every Wednesday. Yeah.
And just hit him up, ask literally one question,

have him answer, and then hang up.

And that's it.

That's our weekly Blake Bortles interview.

Wait, so let's see if he's around,

because maybe we should just do that right now.

That sounds good to me.

We were going to play Big Ben stuff,

but that would be really funny if we just had Blake.

Let's see.

Let's figure out what our one question is. Oh, yeah just had Blake.
Let's see. Let's figure out what our one question is.

Oh, yeah, good point.

Let's see.

One question for Blake Bortles.

It could be anything, anything in the world.

Do you think Queen Elizabeth is in hell?

Okay.

And then maybe like a follow-up question.

If he says no, do you believe in heaven?

Okay, actually, how about this?

I feel like we don't want to blow this interview with Blake.

Yeah, this is big-time stuff.

This could be big for the podcast. You could ask him, do you think Queen Elizabeth is in heaven? I feel like that's an easier way.
That's a softer intro to him. And then if he says yes, then you say, well, do you believe in hell? Okay, perfect, All right.
So, and I'll also, it won't count as the question,

but I'm also going to ask, can you come on every week to do one question? That won't count as the question. That's doesn't count.
That's a different.

Okay. Come on, Blake, please pick up.
I'll try the phone call after FaceTime. FaceTime's an abrasive move.

It's aggressive. Yeah.

That's an aggressive move at 9 p.m. at night.

Yep.

Fuck.

Should we just go through the list of famous people on our phones and keep calling?

Ask them if they'll be weekly guests on the show.

I'm going to call them.

Hopefully this works.

And then maybe we can try to get him on Zoom once a week.

But that's also the problem is like, that's a lot of scheduling.

That sucks.

For everyone involved. Fuck.
Come on, Blake. I should have called him before.
Great planning by us. I'm sorry.
Oh, damn it. Should I call? Okay.
Should I call DK? No, no. I think it's got to be a quarterback.
Let's just – I love the Blake idea.

We should make it Blake.

Let me just see.

Let's – who's the funniest quarterback we have in our phone?

I kind of do want to just call DK.

I haven't talked to him in a while.

Yeah, but I think we got to keep up with the Joneses.

Okay.

Let's see.

Morton Anderson, he's not a quarterback.

All right.

This is becoming – let's see. I'd call Graham Mertz.
Don't say it. I know you want to say he's not a quarterback either.
That's mean. I could call Cuddy.
I could call Spate. He played quarterback.
Oh, why don't we call Jared? Oh, yeah, we could call Jared. All right, all right right all right good call good call and that one guy who tweets me every day saying it's been this many days since you've had jared on yeah let's get jared on the pot all right hold on i now i have one of those issues where i have have his number you would be surprised but like famous people and quarterbacks and like stars, they change their number a lot.

And then you might get frozen out forever.

All right.

I'm calling Jared.

What's our one question for Jared, though?

Do you know where Blake is?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Can you ask Blake if we'll come on?

No.

Oh, no.

I have another Jared number. Okay.
This would suck. Here we go.
No! This is quickly becoming unusable audio. Oh, that made me sad because Jared Lorenzen's right next to him.
Oh, RIP. That's a bummer.
Should we call Billy? Oh, he's a wide receiver. He's not a quarterback.
He's a wide receiver. He changed.
We could call... Hold on, I'm going.
Let's call Max. You know Max Home would pick up.
Oh, I think I have Gardner Minshew's number somehow. Have I ever texted him? Yeah, alright, let's call gardener minchu should i call joe burrow and just be like what the fuck yeah sure yeah give that a try all right okay this we'll do that and then gardner will be our backup okay not that he's a backup he should be a starter but he's a backup okay should i ask joe if we can ask him one question a week yeah and then just then just be like, how annoying was Coward this week?

This is just now a new segment.

Watch Big Cat and PFT get shunned.

All right, here we go.

Call.

I do think Blake is the answer, though.

Wait, what's it?

I've never...

Oh, hang on.

Uh-oh. never oh hang on oh it's gonna be bad this is kind of thrilling though just us calling just playing phone roulette with quarterbacks it's also kind of like the opposite of a flex because And of them and they're also like besides like josh and and joe and jared no okay all right i've never talked to gardner minshu on the phone i could tell i want to see hank show your show your video right now i want to see him shaking his head i want to see hank shake oh this is great Okay Gardner Minshew I've texted with him a few times But I've never talked to him on the phone Is this kind of a crazy move Oh wait wait wait wait Joe Burrow just hit me back What did he say He said what up That means don't call me dude that means don't call me hang on i'm gonna say we're trying to keep up with coward and we just have we're hoping we could ask you one question so we could say that joe burrow's on the podcast yeah sure does that work i could call jim harbaugh okay let's see let's see let's see if he gets back.
Should you text Gardner first? Oh, man. I think the thrill of just...
Oh, Kenny. Yeah.
He would definitely pick him. He would.
Now I'm nervous. Now that's a big question.
I don't know how we're going to edit this. Probably just take everything out? Probably.
I'm mostly disappointed that Blake didn't pick up. Yeah, I mean, he's probably doing something really sweet, if we're being honest.
Yeah. Yeah, he is.
Tommy Reese, Ryan Leaf. Just looking for quarterbacks.
Not really who's who. Oh, Jared's calling me back.
Here we go. Okay.
Jared. What's up? Dude, I don't know if you've noticed, but every podcast is having a quarterback on every week.
Okay. so we want to have – we were going to have Blake on for one question every week, but we called him.
He didn't pick up. So you're just going to be on this week for one question.
Is that cool? Sure. All right.
So you're on right now. What was our one question, PFT? Our question was going to be, do you think Queen Elizabeth is in heaven? Oh, do you think Queen Elizabeth is in heaven? I hope heaven uh i hope so okay but follow up i know this is this is part of the first question do you believe in hell oh yeah okay all right so there was one question with detroit lions starting quarterback jared goff our good friend um tune in next week jared are you up for one question again maybe you and blake can just go back and forth.
Yeah, see, Blake may have better answers than I do, but I can be second to Blake if he's not available. Okay, yeah, I like this.
A little role reversal. Now you're Blake's backup.
There you go. That's fine.
All right, everything else good? That's not a question. That's just a friendship thing.
All good, man. Thanks for calling.
We miss you.

Maybe we'll... I don't know.

I want to see you soon.

We'll play the Bears a couple times. You may come, right?

Yeah, I'll come and I'll

wear a split jersey. Jared Goff.

But it won't be split. It will just be a Bears

jersey with your name on the back.

Perfect.

Alright, see you, man.

Fuck yes! We did it, boys. Okay.
We got a starting NFL quarterback. Yes.
All right. So I think this is a great plan going forward.
Blake will be our mainstay. One question with Blake Portals every Wednesday.
And when he can't do it, Jared is our backup. That sounds good.
I'd like to see every other show keep up with this shit.

Jared's our main backup, and then whatever number is in your phone for Gardner Minshew,

and then after that, whatever excuse Joe Burrow has for not picking up our phone. I kind of want to call Gardner Minshew.

This is kind of funny.

So I said, we just want to ask you one question so that we can say that you're on PMT tomorrow.

And he's like, lol. And I said, it's all good.
Jared Goff just called back. It was a big race to see who would return calls fastest.
And Joe Burrow says, damn it, I can't take another loss this week. Fucked up.
Yeah. All right.
So this is our new segment. Every Wednesday, we're going to do one question with the quarterback.
It'll be Blake, and then we'll just, anytime Blake can't,

we'll figure out who. Should I just try

Gardner Minshew just to see? Should I prank

call him?

Does he know your number? I don't know. Probably.

Alright. Let's call him.

Alright. This is

not going to be awkward.

I've never talked to him on the phone. Oh, man.
Okay, okay. Here we go.
No way he has your number saved. You're calling.
Ah! Yeah. Okay.
What was it? What did we even tell? Hey, Dan, this is Gardner Minshew. I'm ready to rock whenever you are.
Oh, that's when we interviewed him.

So that was kind of it.

All right.

So that was actually a much better segment than what we had planned.

I think we were planning on just using some of Big Ben's interview that he did on his podcast,

footballing, and then cutting that into our podcast.

But I think this way is actually a lot better.

So this has been Talking Boot, the Talking Boot segment.

There was a very funny part of Big Ben's podcast, though, that I feel like we should at least address real quick. So I have a feeling that his pod is going to be him sipping beers calmly while watching football absentmindedly and occasionally telling a story about an injury.
It's perfect. And the injury that he talked about this week was against the Bengals in that playoff game.
You know the one with Vontaze Perfect when he laid out Antonio Brown. Maybe the most violent football game I ever played.
So first of all, Big Ben was talking about getting carded into the locker room. He was getting driven off with a doctor.
And somebody was like throwing beer and it hit his leg. Now that's all well and good good but he was getting carted off with a shoulder injury so so he got onto the cart and then they wheeled him into the locker room and then he got off and he tried to throw a football to the trainer and he couldn't even lift his arm up it was the worst injury the doctor had ever you you sent the um video and you're like it starts here and i got caught up some kid stuff.
So I then I turned it on like for one second before we sat down. And I listened to like 10 seconds.
I got the gist of this. He's like, I couldn't lift my arm.
And then I just turned it off. I was like, yep, I know where this is going.
Yeah, he said he couldn't lift his arm. It was the worst arm a doctor's ever seen.
And then he tried to throw a pass uh to the trainer and he couldn't even lift his arm up to throw it so then uh he was like doc can i go back out there and they said you know what ben you can but you're not playing you're just going back onto the sidelines but there's no way that you can get back into this game and so ben goes out there and then he hears the fans be like oh shit big ben's coming back and he's he's like they don't even know that I'm not even gonna come back I'm just going back out there to watch my guys and support them and the doctor said there's no chance I can play so I stood on the sidelines and then a couple drives later I just kind of found myself back in the game willing the team down the field doing shot putt style passes not even really able to pass they went back and asked him a second time like wait ben how did how did you end up getting back in the game why did that happen he's like i don't know it's just like you know i was back there and then next thing i knew i was back in the game playing football they just tricked it they're like dude just go out in your jersey you'll be fine and then he's like yeah just go out stand in the middle of the field uh you don't have to do anything you'll be fine oh yeah just go out and just take a quick snap you'll be fine he's like, yeah, just go out, stand in the middle of the field. You don't have to do anything.
You'll be fine. Yeah, just go out and just take a quick snap.
You'll be fine. He's like, yeah, now I just woke up and I'm playing football again.
Yeah, it was a wild story. So that's what we're going to do with the talking boot with Ben Roethlisberger.
But I'm much happier, I think, having Blake Bortles on the show every week. This is like vintage PMT to have everyone have these high-level quarterbacks, and we're going to just do one question.
And I think I'm going to amend it a little. I think we go one question with Blake Bortles, and we tell them it's only one question every week, but we all get one question.
So Hank gets one. I get one.
You get one. Billy gets one.
Jake gets one. And Blake gets one, too.

Yes, and Blake gets one. So we just tricked him into doing, like, five minutes with us every week.
It'd be perfect. And wait.
Wait. Tricking somebody into five minutes, that is actually, like, how this podcast started.
And then soon it'll be Blake Bortles on the show for 30 minutes every week. Correct.
It's a joke that then the joke becomes on us and then someone like awful announcing will write a year-end podcast awards and they'll be like, Coward had Burrow, Kyle Brand had Josh Allen, Pat McAfee had Rogers, and these guys come in fourth because they had Blake Bortles, but I don't give a fuck because I love this show. I do too.
Okay. Back to ourselves checks thanks to big ben for joining us uh he's brought to you by part of my cheesesteak big ben loves part of my cheesesteak that dude cannot stop putting cheesesteaks down his gullet we love part of my cheesesteak it's a delivery and pickup only restaurant brand bringing you craveable cheesesteaks and loaded fries part of my cheesesteak is now available in hundreds of select locations nationwide.
New locations being added every week. I saw a bunch of trucks on college campuses.
That was cool. The cheesesteaks looked amazing.
I had a cheesesteak on Sunday. I actually had half a buffalo chicken cheesesteak and then half a Chipotle cheesesteak.
It's got more protein than any other cheesesteak in the world, I think. That's what I'm least you can get lunch dinner or late night delivery open seven days a week go to part of my cheesesteak.com to learn more and order now on doordash uber eats postmates or grubhub okay let's wrap up with guys on chicks hank you got us some guys on chicks by the way friday we have a great interview with uh danny and lucy devito in studio poor i still feel bad about them having to sit in this couch so that was that was tough but a great interview great yeah yeah okay go okay so it's only week one and i'm in a couple leagues with my boyfriend his friends and their girlfriends again week one oh whoa i lost his mic i just dropped my mic he has limp mic problems most of us girls have outscored our boyfriends to the point where they guys are saying well this league isn't our competitive league anyways they have a larger 12 team guys league with the single friends included or saying well we let y'all draft better at what week would it be fair to assume that the girls are just better than the guys because we overanalyzed the draft and came in ready to prove we pay attention to football too and we are just as good like when can i roll over in bed and look my boyfriend in the eye and say i'm better than you is it week four is it week six is it now any help is appreciated because i want them to take this league seriously and i think shit talking is the only way to get them locked in instead of dismissing their eventual defeat.
See, fantasy football is one of those things where the more you read about it, the worse you get at it usually. It's always the people that spend time, like Jerry O'Connell was telling us, like he subscribes to all those different weird sites.
He gets the magazines. The more time you invest into fantasy football, actually the worse you get at it.
It's like March Madness brackets. Exactly.
Yeah, exactly. Like the best way that you can do fancy football is to just go with whatever the computer tells you draft those players and then try to have fun.
The more, the more seriously you take it, the more you'll overthink it and the more you'll screw yourself over. So minus the one, the one thing I would say is there always is one guy in the league who does like i i think that i'm pretty normal and you probably agree pft like when we do fantasy drafts by the time you get to like round nine you're literally just drafting guys you recognize and there's one guy in your league who like actually knows depth charts and they're like oh this rookie wide receiver is gonna pop that guy is really good.
But everyone else, yeah, you're right. Yeah, it's kind of a waste of time, but we still love it.
What you should do, actually, you and all the girlfriends should make a fantasy football guide together and explain why you drafted the people you drafted and then send it to all the guys in the league and be like, hey, if you guys want to get better, you can take some of our tips.

Also, the real answer to this question is fantasy football is very stupid

because it's always the flukiest thing.

I don't think you can talk shit until it's an all-girls semifinal

or all-girls final because what will happen is there will be some stupid injury

or some stupid weather game, and the team that's the best team in the league all year will lose in the first round of the playoffs and everyone can shit talk you back so wait till it's like all girls in the semi-final then unload the clip and then they'll and then knowing guys they'll cancel the league forever sup guys my boyfriend is a huge awl and we've been together for about a year i love love this. I love this question.
This is guys being dudes at its finest. Recently, we moved in together, and I've noticed something peculiar about his cleaning habits.
If he spills a drink or something, he will grab his dirty shirt off the ground from the night before to mop it up. Or sometimes he will take his towel that he just used from his shower, spray some cleaner on the counters, and use the wet towel to clean the countertops.
I asked him about it and said that i thought it was gross all he says is i'm all about efficiency baby why dirty two things when i can just dirty one yeah am i wrong here or is he no you're wrong you're very wrong he's got a dirty shirt it's not gonna it can't get more dirty it's already dirty guys we think of our clothes in terms of it's very binary it's like are these jeans dirty are they not dirty are they jeans are they jeans and i've worn them only five days as opposed to six days once something becomes dirty it can't possibly get more dirty it's like getting more pregnant it's like okay the shirt is dirty i'm gonna use it because i'm gonna wash it anyways this guy's just he's being you're being unreasonable yeah i was gonna say like i use socks all the time to clean up shit. I will take my clean sock off being like, I know it's going to be, I'm going to take it off eventually.
So if there's a spill at 8 p.m. at night, sock off, clean it up.
It's way easier than getting up and getting a paper towel. Yeah.
And then be like, well, I'm going to, I'm not going to use this sock tomorrow anyway. So it's dirty.
Have you ever pulled this move? You spill something on the ground or on the carpet. It's towards the end of the day.
You're going to take your socks off. And so you just keep your socks on.
Oh, yeah. And then walk across the stain.
And then use your foot to use your sock to pick the stain up and then throw your sock. I'll do that even if it's early in the day.
If it's a manageable spill with a sock, I'm just you know i'm like my own mini zamboni yeah you just walk on it deal with it you start you start you start like raking at it with your foot it's very efficient easy hey big cat i think that's the ultimate like girls a lot of a lot of women don't like they would feel the same way but it's like i feel they're a lot of guys are like yeah now it no, it's just whatever you can do to clean up. They're just inefficient people.
Yeah. Not to cast a wide net.
Hey, Big Cat PFT, Hank, Jake, Billy, and memes. I dated my now ex-boyfriend for almost three years.
I recently caught him cheating and decided to break up with him. But he has concert tickets he bought for us a while ago and is now texting and even DMing me every day to try to convince me to still go with him.
I honestly hate his guts, but I was really excited for this concert. Should I go? I mean, the concert is...
I need to know who it is. It's gotta be...
We need to know who it is. It makes a big difference who's playing in this concert.
If it's Gaga, you gotta go. What about Harry Styles? But there's no way the guy, I guess the guy probably would want to go to Gaga.
If it's Harry Styles, I think that implies that you're going to hook up if you go to the Harry Styles concert. But there's no way a guy is like, let's go to this Harry Styles concert.
Unless he's trying to go find other chicks. Well, I was going to say that if you, I've watched enough rom-coms and gotten all my relationship advice from Judd Apatow.
If you go to this concert, there's like a, I'd say 85% chance you guys get married. So that's just what's going to happen.
You're going to rekindle in the backdrop of a beautiful concert and boom, you're married. Maybe even have a kid.
You might even have a kid that night. It really depends on what concert it is, I think.
Yeah. If it's Limp Bizkit, he just probably wants to go rock out.
I think he's actually using this concert as a lever to get back in the door in this relationship. Yeah, no, of course.
No, what you should actually do is you should ask him to – you'd be like, I'll go, transfer me the tickets, I'll meet you there, sell the tickets, no show. Boom.
Take a new date. Yeah, that's diabolical.
What if it's the red hot chili peppers? Yeah, I'd go. He might want to rock out to that.
Yeah, I'd go. I'd go.
Alter ego help. Uh-oh.
My boyfriend constantly says he wishes he didn't have such a plain name. His name is Mike.
He's said this for years, and I recently just discovered that he has created an alter ego of himself on multiple social media platforms. He's been calling himself Randall Gibbons online for months.
Now that I've found out about it, he even wants me to start calling him Randy. I'm worried this is going to leak over to real life, and I really don't want to be dating a Randy.
Send help. Randall Gibbons.
Randall Gibbons. Is that a person? I'm looking up Randall Gibbons right now.
No, I don't think so. There's an RV repairman named Randall.
Wait, Gibbons or Gibbons? G-I-B-B-E-N-S. E-N-S.
Oh. I see Randall Gibbons with an O.

I like this move.

Assistant Trailer Park Supervisor.

Franny Lydon, yeah?

Yeah. Anything?

Yeah?

I mean, you're in for this.

Yeah, I mean, that wasn't like an alter ego because I hated my name.

That was just like a, you know, compter name.

Yeah, make fun of us.

In the alter ego, are they using any sort of anti-Semitic rhetoric online?

Is this... I'd like to know more about that.
You can find out about to find out about that yeah but i randy's kind of a cool name randy's a cool name it's cooler name than mike it is it just is i actually yeah randy because mike is a mike is a solid like foundational name but it's also there's a million mics out there there's not a lot of randy's if i hear randy yeah if i hear mike it's like okay mike drives a honda accord well you know if i hear randy it's like yeah he does too but he's got a kick-ass spoiler on the right and if you hear mike you're like yeah i probably will would be friends with that guy yeah because like it's just mike mike stand up dude yeah mike is a good dude randy's the guy you call if you need coke yeah randy is is the guy who's like hey let's go fuck fuck some shit up yeah let's do some weird shit with randy randy had you probably had to bail randy out of jail yeah six or seven times randy's a wild card mike is mike is gonna pay his mortgage on time he's gonna mow his lawn you're probably have like a couple you know beers with mike in his garage every weekend like just hanging out with mike randy listen randy doesn't even own property he's off the grid randy's definitely showed up at your house a couple times after 2 a.m needing a place to lay low for a while yeah randy is the is the guy who your wife or girlfriend's like can you stop bringing randy around and that you need one of those friends you need one of those friends what What do you say, Billy? He could go by Ike.

Ike.

Ike's kind of weird.

Ike is kind of weird.

But it's not Mike.

I don't think Mike.

Mike should not change their name.

They're Mike's.

It's such a good, like, it's a total, like, you know, meat and potatoes name.

Yeah.

Ike, I think, that's a name for Dwight, isn't it?

Ike?

I don't think Ike is short for Mike. No, I don't think so either.
I think it's Dwight. Mikey.
Mikey's cool. You could just go by Mikey.
I knew a few Mikeys growing up. They're all...
No, actually one's in jail. Ike Turner was Isaiah.
Huh. Dwight Eisenhower.
Yeah, he was Ike. He was Ike.
Yeah. All right, one last one last one ike taylor is ivan

so i guess it really that's kind of cool it varies ike is very cool i always thought of cool

like if you're going to give yourself a nickname randy's kind of cool uh raul would be sweet too

good yeah so the last few days i've been in europe on a family trip and we stayed at a hotel with an

outdoor patio we were all casually hanging out with a few drinks mixed in and we'll call him Rick. Someone we'll call him Rick.
Rick stood up from our table to go to his room as he was calling it a night. His pants fell down and he bent over to pull up his pants.
At this point it was a hanging sack and full moon in all our faces. This dude proceeded to fall backwards off the patio with his pants still down.
We aided his wife in putting his pants back on. She and her husband were super nice.
The ambulance came to get him and sent him to a hospital towards the city center as we were in the countryside. Before the fact, as we were both families from the US, we had talked about meeting this family back in our home country.
We still have possible intentions of meeting up with this family,

but the husband has no recollection of what happened that night,

and who knows what his wife is even thinking.

How should we approach this situation?

I appreciate any ounce of help. Thanks.

I just love the idea of somebody thinking about themselves.

You go to a foreign country, you're representing the United States abroad,

and this is just a perfect way to do that.

Yeah, this is awesome. Falling over with your pants down.
It couldn't be more more perfect. Falling over your pants down, your butthole out, your balls, and then having to go to the hospital because you fell down naked.
Yeah. This is a total, like, if he truly doesn't remember it, I think you just roll with it.
I mean, that's funny. If he's fine, that's funny.
And if they respond well to it, are lifetime friends you know what i mean if they're

like that was a very funny thing that happened holy shit yeah those are cool people that you

want to hang out with more who can who can you know not take things too seriously yeah i don't

i don't mind that at all yeah sounds like a cool guy um okay good show boys uh numbers hank

have you ever had have you ever won this i've not okay so paramount plus is making sure hank

Thank you. boys uh numbers hank have you ever had have you ever won this i've not okay so paramount plus is making sure hank might win it because he's rigged the lottery ball machine go to paramount plus.com to start your free trial get access to your live local nfl and cbs game every sunday as well as additional exclusive content nfl and cbs is streaming live on paramount plus all season long kicking off september 11.
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Numbers.

17.

69.

I'm 2-0 since I got the number right on Sunday.

81. 26.
56. 81'm 2-0 since I got the number right on Sunday.
81.

26.

56.

81.

Let's go.

49.

What was your number, Nate?

17.

That was a bad pick.

17, huh?

That was a bad pick.

That was a bad pick.

I'm telling you right now, it was a bad pick.

It's not going to hit.

You're not even going to be close. I don't think 17's ever hit.
Yeah, and you're not even going to be close. 50...
What were you, Max? 56. 56! Let's go! Yes! He's been on the show for two months, and he already has one.
I'm the fucking best. Here we go.
I'm the fucking best. Here we go back, girl.
Suck it, Hank. Holy fuck.
I'm happy for him. No, you're not.
No, you're not. Yeah, no.
Wow. There's still memes, right? Memes? No, well, memes doesn't play.
Actually, no, yeah. Memes fucking suck.
No, no, no. Memes, he plays like once every month.
Yeah. This is another example of Philly just being massively superior to Hank.
I'm happy for him. He literally has been, he's part of the show for, what are you, like a month and a half in now? That's cool.
And you've already gotten it before, Hank? That's great. Wow.
That's awesome. Congrats, Max.
That's huge. My heart is racing.
I was not expecting this rush. Do you have anybody, anyone you'd like to thank? Hank, he brought me onto the show.
He's been my boss for a really long time. Love it.
Appreciate everything he's ever done for me. Thank you, Hank.
We'll count this one as a notch in your coaching tree. Good job.
Quick wrap-up. Watch the Manning cast curse.
Saquon was on this time, and it was undefeated in the regular season. Oh, yeah.
Good point. Good point.
As we mentioned before, the Queen Corgis have found a new groomer. Yes.
Love you guys. Prince Andrew.
Thanks for stealing that joke, Billy. Sucks so bad.
I used my animal bag. That was such a joke cuck that you had.
It's all right. It's not an original joke, so I don't care.
Yeah, Billy, who'd you steal it from? I mean, if you couldn't make that joke. Yeah, no, I agree.

So it wasn't a big deal.

Hank, that sucks for you, bro. No, it's great.

Also, we're going for three in a row on Thursday.

That's never been done.

Yeah, remember when Billy got 69, I got 18 back-to-back. I said he retired.

The truth's happened before. Three in a row.

I love you guys. Who here will get it

besides Hank? Because he'll never fucking get it. Thank you.
Take me on me. We love you Take me on me

Take me on me

Take me on me

Take me on me You're the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that's not the only one that Take my feet Take my feet

Without you