NFL Week 1, Fastest 2 Minutes, Recapping Every Game From Sunday, Mahomes Is Still Incredible And The Packers Are Dead

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

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Speaker 1 And when you bite into it boom it sorts you out gets your head back in the game of life satisfying your hunger remember this snickers handles your hunger so you can handle everything else snickers satisfies man that's a winning play on today's part in my take week one of the nfl season we're going to go through every single game fastest two minutes it was a crazy week one topped off by an absolute stinker of sunday night football But we are going to talk about every single game.

Speaker 1 We also have who's back of the week. We're going to talk a little college football.
We have Football Guy of the Week. It's back, baby.
It's the favorite, it's the best thing that we do.

Speaker 1 We love doing these Monday shows for everyone.

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Speaker 1 And I not like the solid work to be done.

Speaker 1 No place to hang out or washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can't blame all on the sun. Oh no, we're gonna rock it down to Electric Avenue.

Speaker 1 and then we'll take it higher

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Speaker 7 presented by barstool sports

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take presented by game time the exclusive ticketing app for barstool sports go check out game time

Speaker 1 right now today is Monday September 12th

Speaker 1 week one

Speaker 8 We start in Detroit Rock City where the Lions were feeling soupy as Ramen Ra St.

Speaker 8 Brown started hot but then cooled golf as their coach had a brain full of Dan Campbell's chunky chicken noodle soup after calling for an inopportune on-side kick.

Speaker 8 Speaking of chicken, Miles Colonel Sanders was playing chicken, but Boston Market Scott had a side of mashed petitis as everyone was expecting a Russian attack from the Eagles.

Speaker 8 But it was AJ Ava Brown that made Lions fans pop that cyanide capsule.

Speaker 10 Eagles, 38, Browns, 35.

Speaker 10 Down in Miami, where the Patriots lost the Battle of Bunker Hill as Tyreek caught bombs from World War II, Mac Prescott Jones went down to Florida and got his ass kicked like it was spring break.

Speaker 10 Kendrick Softcore Bourne had a hard time doing hand stop, unlike his owner, Robert Kraft, and Matt Lauer Patricia is going to be locked in his office reviewing films from this offense's woeful performance.

Speaker 9 Let's go down to the field with head coach Mike McDaniel for his first win in the NFL.

Speaker 1 Thanks, Mike.

Speaker 10 Dolphins 20.

Speaker 9 Patriots 7.

Speaker 8 Up to the meadowlands, wearing a touching tribute to my good friend Queen Elizabeth, the Ravens put their queen in the box, daring the Jets to throw.

Speaker 8 Rashad Patrick Bateman money laundered Lamar Jackson's soiled pants and caught a touchdown from his quarterback.

Speaker 8 As Lamar Samuel Jackson once famously said, I've had it with these motherfucking snakes on the motherfucking plane.

Speaker 8 And speaking of planes, Marky Mark Andrews was able to take down the Jets defensive attack with 52 yards receiving.

Speaker 8 Braxton Leather Barrios left a bad taste in everyone's mouth because the Jets are ass again. Ravens 24, Jets 9.

Speaker 10 Down to the Queen City. Now watch me, Pitt.

Speaker 1 Now watch me, Nayjay.

Speaker 10 But with three missed tat kicks, the stanky legs belonged to the Steelers and the Bengals.

Speaker 9 It looked like a lady Vols game out there with the orange uniforms and missing pats.

Speaker 10 Kevin George W. Bush was a weapon of past destruction as We Did It Joe Burrow was biding his time in the pocket.

Speaker 10 Chris, all's well that Boswell gets the game winner in overtime, and the Steelers take down the defending AFC champs.

Speaker 9 The Steelers, 23, the Bengals, 20.

Speaker 1 Next door to the other Queen City, again, my personal friend Queen Elizabeth passed away this week at the ripe age of 96.

Speaker 4 I miss Lizzie so much. She was at the catch with me, the Schwamm.

Speaker 8 In a touching tribute to their suspended teammate, the Browns forced the chub against the rule.

Speaker 8 Laker Mayfield couldn't find the magic as the bad blood was confirmed positive in Game Week press conferences, and the Browns had full-blown cades.

Speaker 8 York, that is, as the kicker nailed a 58-yarder for the win.

Speaker 10 Browns 26, Panthers 24.

Speaker 9 And Row John, Maryland, the Jaguars drafted Trevor Lorenz too damn high.

Speaker 10 The Jags were pinned deep, but Travis ATM was muddy.

Speaker 9 However, after all the wealth was spread around, momentum swung to to the commies.

Speaker 10 Carson Wentzborough Baptist Church said God hates Jags as he went through the passing of the Christ to Antonio Mel Gibson and the Washington Commanders are in the win column 28 to 22.

Speaker 8 Out in the NFC Westminster Abbey where the king's buried, if you want to see the queen, you're gonna have to look up to the sky more.

Speaker 8 And Juju Smith Schuster was coughing the ball up, but if you're looking for pallbearers, you might want to get six cardinals because they're sure to let you down.

Speaker 9 Greg Dorch

Speaker 8 went dort earth in a losing effort as the Chiefs defense had Kyler Murray with no aim assist in the gulag running around with no plates.

Speaker 9 Learn from the lost failures. Failure is a proper teacher.
Chiefs 44, Cardinals 21.

Speaker 9 Sounds good.

Speaker 9 Up to the NFC North, where Aaron Rodgers was missing a little LSD.

Speaker 10 Lazard Scantling and Devontae, that is.

Speaker 10 Justin Jefferson and Kirk Kazin were flying around as the Zinnesoda Vikesons were saying skull all Sunday, and Packer fans were coping hanging about their team's lack of buzz.

Speaker 8 Probably wish Rogers didn't ditch that long cut, boom.

Speaker 10 Great point, Tege.

Speaker 9 It's a new era in town as the Kevin O'Connell era starts with a dub.

Speaker 10 Vikings 23, Packers 7.

Speaker 1 standing on a corner, Jameis wins it down in no love. Such a fine sight to see.

Speaker 1 Dirty birds, my lord, up on the scoreboard. And Jameis throwing two McT.
He's on a heater.

Speaker 1 That's my leader.

Speaker 1 He cut the lead in half. He's the original crap feeder.

Speaker 3 Spoil alert, boom.

Speaker 8 The Saints go marching 27-26.

Speaker 1 And that was Fastest Two Minutes Back.

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Speaker 1 That was week one.

Speaker 1 That was fucking awesome.

Speaker 3 I'm so glad that football is back.

Speaker 1 Listen, we just watched an absolute stinker on Sunday night football.

Speaker 1 And we'll start with that game, but let's not let it ruin how sick that witching hour was and how awesome watching all those games.

Speaker 1 There was a moment there we had two games that we thought were going to go to a tie, and there was like four different plays that were all swung the entire how the game was going to be played out all at the same time, and we all were just like, we're losing our minds, we're back.

Speaker 3 I need a couple weeks, I think, to get readjusted to watching that type of football because when every game was being switched back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, everywhere on all these TVs, I was struggling to process all the data at once.

Speaker 3 My brain needs to get back into the reps. I've obviously been out of the game for, what, like seven months now, however long it's been since the Super Bowl.

Speaker 3 My brain struggled to keep up at times out there, but I loved it. I love the rush.
I miss it so much. And yeah, the night game stunk.

Speaker 3 But as far as Cowboys' losses go, you can have boring Cowboys' losses, or you can have Cowboys' losses that end in a hilarious injury within Jerry Jones gets on the microphone.

Speaker 3 And I don't think that HIPAA exists for Jerry Jones. Like, he can just say whatever, right? He can be like, yeah, we're going to have to cut it off.

Speaker 3 Dax contract signing in is fucked.

Speaker 1 It's like, it's the best because if you're a beat writer for the Cowboys, you never have to be like, oh, I got to work sources. I just have to show up to Jerry Jones press conference.

Speaker 1 He immediately said, like, every other team, like TJ Watt, comes off the field, says, you can read his lips saying, I think I tore my pec.

Speaker 1 We still don't have an absolute, like, he hasn't done the MRI yet. So we're still like, oh, maybe leaving the hope for the fans.

Speaker 1 Jerry, I don't even think the game was over, and he was just basically in front of a camera being like, yup, Dak broke his hand, out for a few weeks, sucks for us. And now the Cowboys,

Speaker 1 I mean, Mike McCarthy's gone,

Speaker 1 officially gone. I don't know what he was doing punting.

Speaker 1 That was just classic Mike McCarthy.

Speaker 1 He read, no one has ever done a better job at like pretending they're something like completely different than what they actually are when he went to the interview with Jerry Jones, being like, I know analytics.

Speaker 1 I'm new age now. And then you flash forward and Mike McCarthy's down two possessions, punting with like six minutes left.

Speaker 3 There's phoning it in, and then there's whatever Mike McCarthy's doing.

Speaker 3 And maybe he's caught in a situation where, like we were talking about Coach O last week, where Coach O was so happy to get the buyout and get out of town.

Speaker 3 Like McCarthy, I think he's been trying to get fired for a while now, and he's doing everything that you would do if you were a coach trying to get fired, knowing that Jerry Jones is just going to hire Sean Payton, probably already has a handshake deal, needs a couple seasons to let that cool off, because I bet you Jerry Jones thought about just like firing Mike McCarthy two weeks after he hired him.

Speaker 3 After he like hung out with him enough and got his vibe, he's like, this was a mistake. I want to fire him.

Speaker 1 Mike McCarthy definitely like

Speaker 1 spilled something on one of Jerry Jones' couches, probably farted in an inopportune time.

Speaker 1 Like, you know, one of those, Mike McCarthy, Jerry Jones went out to get like, hey, Coach, do you want me to get you a drink? He gets up to go to like the refrigerator or something.

Speaker 1 And then he comes back.

Speaker 3 he's like did you fart and mike's like no i think that's your dog it's like jerry's like i haven't had a dog in 10 years mike it could be something as simple as just mike mccarthy sneezes in a meeting and a booger comes out a little bit or he farts or he sneezes and then jerry just looks at him like this is my guy yeah the booger sneeze guy

Speaker 1 this guy he's got a mustard stain on his shirt i also think mike mccarthy i I know what you're doing, Mike McCarthy.

Speaker 1 The jacket that you have that you're like pulling up over your neck that keeps getting higher and higher. I know what you're doing.
It's not working. I still think you're fat and dumb.

Speaker 3 So I always laugh when they send the doctor out onto the field for the Dallas Cowboys because he's a guy wearing the hat. Yep.

Speaker 3 And everyone always is like, oh, I can't believe the doctor's wearing a cowboy hat. I don't have a problem with the doctor wearing a cowboy hat.
In fact, I actually stay woke.

Speaker 3 I think that it's Jerry Jones and he might have a bug inside that hat. That's how he gets the injury information so quickly.
You remember when Homer Simpson wore the surveillance cowboy hat? Yes.

Speaker 3 That's what he's doing with the doctor. I don't have a problem with the cowboy hat.
I just wish it was bigger.

Speaker 3 If I'm going to be trusting myself to a cowboy doctor, I don't want him to be wearing like a tiny little, like half-ass cowboy hat.

Speaker 1 I want it to be 10 gallons. Well, no,

Speaker 1 he needs to match the hat with the level of player. If Dak gets injured, you need to come out with the biggest hat you've ever seen.

Speaker 1 If it's like a special teamer, you come out with like a tiny little, like maybe even like a miniature cowboy hat. And it's like, you don't deserve the big cowboy hat.

Speaker 1 So then the fans can be like, oh, like big-time player, big cowboy hat.

Speaker 3 Or like based on the extent of the injury, how serious it is that he takes off the small hat, puts the big one. This is the surgical hat I'm putting on right now.

Speaker 3 That way Jerry immediately knows how bad the injury is so he can leak it to the press.

Speaker 1 Yes. So the Cowboys stunk.
Like they stunk. Pretty bad.
I actually didn't think the Bucs were like incredible.

Speaker 3 The Bucs,

Speaker 1 I don't know what they're doing, but it felt like every single one of their

Speaker 1 position, like skill position players got hurt at some point during the game.

Speaker 1 Julio Jones got hurt for a minute. Mike Evans got hurt.
Chris Godwin, which I can't even believe he's back already, he got hurt for a minute. Leonard Fournette got hurt.

Speaker 3 Their offensive line.

Speaker 1 He had their offensive line.

Speaker 3 Everybody except for their 45-year-old quarterback got hurt.

Speaker 1 Yes, it feels like the Bucs are going to be a really good team this year if they can just not have everyone get hurt every single game. But I didn't walk away.

Speaker 1 That wasn't like, wow, the Bucs look like their upper echelon. And of course, it's Tom Brady, so they'll probably play themselves into it.
It was more, damn, the Cowboys suck.

Speaker 3 I actually thought Leonard Fournette looked better than I thought he was going to do. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 So Leonard Fournette pulled a fast one on us this offseason by getting all the buzz going about how fat he is. Great move on his part because

Speaker 3 he might be fat right now.

Speaker 3 He might be heavier than he was last year, but based on what my expectation was going to be, I was expecting like 320-pound Leonard Fournette to show up and be like throwing up Chinese food on every case.

Speaker 3 Yes. The fact that he's putting his shoulder down and getting first downs without injuring his hamstring is like, wow,

Speaker 3 this guy's all pro.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he seems fine.

Speaker 1 I'm now looking at the schedule because I I want the Cowboys.

Speaker 1 This is the only thing you don't want. Here's what we have to be ready for.
The Cowboys are going to suck this year because Cooper Rush is going to play.

Speaker 1 And we had the one Cooper Rush game against the Vikings. But Cooper Rush is going to play.
Dak is going to be out for,

Speaker 1 let's call it a month and a half. So their season is going to be over by the time Dak comes back.
The one thing we can't have happen is they do a full tank season and then they get like Bryce Young.

Speaker 3 Well, I don't think they're going to do that because Dak sucks. Because of Dak's contract.

Speaker 1 Actually, like the ways always get rid of guys.

Speaker 3 We can laugh about Dak's injury because it's an objectively funny injury. He hurt his thumb, and so it's not like his career is in jeopardy at this point.
Right.

Speaker 3 And the Cowboys are just going to have to build all the pieces around him and wait for him to return, and he's still going to be their quarterback.

Speaker 3 I think Jerry Jones has certain guys that he loves. He loves Ezekiel Elliott.
He loves anyone that plays for the University of Arkansas, and he loves Dak Prescott.

Speaker 1 I just, yeah, Ezekiel Elliott, by the way, just wearing a visor. I think it was just the like, I don't even want to be here, so I don't, I want, I want to, like, be in a different dimension visor.
No,

Speaker 1 you can't see, he can't see anything.

Speaker 3 He looked like a car. Yeah.
He actually looked like his, his body looked like an automobile. Yes.

Speaker 1 And then we also, we have to mention Chris Collinsworth, dude, take a day off. That was horrendous.
Yeah. That made the bad game worse.

Speaker 3 I was thinking that maybe he was pissed off watching the Florida game yesterday. He was like yelling at his TV.
That's the only thing that I can think of.

Speaker 3 But it sounded, he sounded like Dak Prescott looked.

Speaker 1 Yes, he sounded like I feel. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Jake, go ahead, Billy.

Speaker 13 Speaking of voices, Tom Brady was doing an interview after the game, and his voice sounded super high, which would be evidence of a nose job like PFT has been saying.

Speaker 13 It's called

Speaker 13 hyponasality, and it's, you know, after nose jobs, turns out you have a high-pitched voice.

Speaker 1 Well, I mean, it's, yeah. It's very obvious.
I mean, he got something done.

Speaker 3 His nose is so skinny right now.

Speaker 1 And Giselle tweeted, let's go Tom Brady. So that's

Speaker 1 closed. Definitely.
He's not getting divorced.

Speaker 3 That actually, the fact that your spouse is adding you on Twitter tells me actually it's worse than we thought. Like, that's not normal behavior.

Speaker 3 I went back through her timeline a little bit, not being horny, just looking at the Instagram post that she's put up in the past.

Speaker 3 She's never once wished Tom Brady, hey, at Tom Brady, hey, at my husband, good luck today. Seems like she's overcompensating a little bit.

Speaker 1 She tweeted something and you started going on her Instagram? Yeah. Well, because all of her tweets look back to her Instagram.

Speaker 3 They link back to it.

Speaker 1 It would be funny if it was just Bonner.

Speaker 3 I do want to say, yeah, I was actually thinking, like, it might be Tom Brady's social people, like,

Speaker 3 talking to themselves. Yeah.
Being like, hey, Tom, I love you. And he just sits back.

Speaker 1 Nice job. Yep, did it.

Speaker 3 But if Giselle does want to talk about it, like, you know.

Speaker 1 Put it all the way on the list. Jake.

Speaker 3 Offer extended. Can we...

Speaker 1 I mean, Chris Collins' got to sit out. You can't do that.

Speaker 7 So this is the only week that he has to do two a days, two games in a week, because

Speaker 1 something happened in between.

Speaker 1 It wasn't

Speaker 1 two a day.

Speaker 7 It was weird. I don't know what happened.

Speaker 1 I mean, his son is literally right there. Well, it's a different role.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but I mean, they sound the same.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Just put his son on.

Speaker 7 It doesn't sound the same.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 3 I actually think that you could do a pretty good job calling a game with a Chris Collinsworth soundboard.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Easily. Here's a guy.

Speaker 3 He would just be like, here's a guy, Al, and Mike would be like, that's not my name.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. All right, Al.
Have another steak. And it was such a snoozer, no one would even notice.

Speaker 1 Mike Trico could have just done the game by himself. Yeah.
He easily could have.

Speaker 1 He's a consummate pro.

Speaker 3 Okay, so let's just set aside Dak's injury here.

Speaker 1 I should have Mike Dunn's Tom Brady and had him just practice. Yeah, it'd be good reps.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 That'd be wonderful. Mess reps are when no one's watching.

Speaker 1 Is that true?

Speaker 13 I used to do YouTube games in college.

Speaker 1 Fuck yeah.

Speaker 1 I would record on my phone.

Speaker 3 Next level mental reps, like Russell Wilson.

Speaker 3 Russell Wilson doing reps where he's doing the fake high fives. High fives, yeah.

Speaker 13 High five, do a training camp.

Speaker 7 Kind of. Or he smacked your butt.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Saul.

Speaker 4 I actually should sue him.

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 3 I was thinking about what happened here with the Cowboys today, and let's just set aside the fact that Dak Prescott got injured. Why the fuck do they shove Dallas down her face every year?

Speaker 1 Because it's

Speaker 3 makes no sense.

Speaker 1 No, it makes perfect sense.

Speaker 3 I don't even think that they're relevant. I think that most people just like to watch them lose.
I don't think that they have a big fan base.

Speaker 1 No, it has nothing to do with that. It's the fact that

Speaker 1 we're not the people why Dallas is on. We watch football no matter what.
Who is that person?

Speaker 1 It's the people who are like, should I watch a game game tonight? I don't know. Oh, the Cowboys, they were good 30 years ago.
Right. I'm going to tune it in.
That's all it is. It's old people.

Speaker 3 No, but I don't think the youths care about the Dallas Cowboys.

Speaker 1 They're like the Clintons. No, but

Speaker 3 they were big in the Ninas, and they make me want to kill myself.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, they would kill you. That's what I'm saying.
Everybody around them wants to sue you. No, they, they,

Speaker 1 it makes perfect sense, though. If there was like a hundred, if you're trying to get a hundred people to watch, like, let's say, or say, let's say a game's on, right?

Speaker 1 And 100 people are going to watch. 120 are going to watch because the Cowboys.
80 are going to, like, you're going to lose, or you'll get exactly 100 if the Jaguars are on.

Speaker 1 Wait, you always get 20 more people. So you always get 20 more people in the Cowboys.

Speaker 1 Yes, or the Giants.

Speaker 3 Exactly 20 more people.

Speaker 1 No, I'm just saying, like, round numbers. The Giants? Yeah,

Speaker 3 the Giants are on the same boat. They're in New York.

Speaker 1 Like, this is,

Speaker 1 it's not news-wide. The first take will always lead with the Cowboys, the Lakers, LeBron.

Speaker 3 The Lakers make more sense. It's just that, and I would agree with you to a certain point, like five, ten years ago with the Cowboys.

Speaker 3 But at this point, I just don't know who out there is still clamoring for more Cowboys concept.

Speaker 1 It's not that people are clamoring for it, it's just that the people who are

Speaker 1 right, and the people who aren't gonna, the people who aren't gonna watch are gonna watch because the Cowboys are on. It's a name, it's a brand recognition that they're like, oh, the Cowboys are on.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I'm gonna watch.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 I say it always does. They always, the Cowboys, the

Speaker 1 the giants understand

Speaker 3 I understand the concept of needle moving teams I just think that the cowboys might be reaching the point where they're not a needle moving team anymore I mean they were pretty they were pretty good last year like they were they played in fun games so I don't know I think I think you're just thinking of this game yeah this game sucks this game sucked and most cowboys games do suck yeah this game was was terrible all right so Ezekiel Elliott looks cool yeah he does he looks very cool and skip by the way

Speaker 7 he literally jumped on the bandwagon he took off a Dak jersey and put on a Brady jersey.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. Uh-oh.
Yeah, that's gross.

Speaker 3 When you've lost Skip Bayless.

Speaker 1 No, the first take and Skip's show are going to just do like an hour of Dak talk to us.

Speaker 3 It's called Undisputed. Undisputed.
Yeah. And Shannon Sharp's on it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm sure. They're going to debate Dak like for an hour and a half.
Some show gets made.

Speaker 3 If I were him, I would.

Speaker 3 I don't believe that he's actually getting rid of that jersey for free. No.
I think Skip's going to, because if he was serious about it, he would have put it in his penis microwave.

Speaker 1 Yeah, or the trash where he then pulls it out

Speaker 1 three weeks later.

Speaker 3 I think we haven't seen the last of Skip in the Cowboys uniform.

Speaker 1 No, he will be back. All right, let's get into the games.
Let's hop right in. We should have said this off the top.

Speaker 1 Jake, PFT,

Speaker 1 Max, welcome to the 1-0 Club.

Speaker 3 Feels good. Congratulations.
Feels good to be a winner, guys. I love winning with y'all.

Speaker 1 Welcome to the 1-0 Club.

Speaker 1 Billy, you kind of ruined it because it would have been awesome if it was just Hank. But let's start with that game.
Dolphins, 20, Patriots, 7. The Mike McDaniel era starts

Speaker 1 with a very impressive win.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it also starts with Tyree Hill saying McDaniel is going to need a wheelbarrow for his nuts to carry them around. He was talking about, which was kind of the deciding factor of the game.

Speaker 1 Bill Belichick at the end of the second quarter deciding not to use any of his timeouts to try to get the ball back. Mike McDaniels being like, fuck it, we're going to go for this.

Speaker 1 Fourth and seven, scores a touchdown. You got grown men waddling

Speaker 1 in the stadium. And the Patriots,

Speaker 1 I mean, go ahead, Hank. Look,

Speaker 1 I've put some thought into this the last couple days

Speaker 1 and even kind of last year, but it's just,

Speaker 1 you know, when the show started, whatever it was, seven years ago.

Speaker 1 And for the last five years, even last year a little bit, obviously, you know, it was

Speaker 1 a little bit, you know, kind of forced, but we did beat the Bills in the cold game. We did have a lead in the AFC East later in the season.

Speaker 1 But I think I'm just ready to fully admit that the Patriots are not the Patriots anymore.

Speaker 1 They're not the Patriots that I grew up since I was nine years old, you know, loving and rooting for, the Tom Brady, Bill Belipchuk Patriots, who basically were, they were the Bills. are this year.

Speaker 1 They're perennial Super Bowl favorites. Every single game, you expect them to win.
If they lose anywhere, even if they lose in the AFC Championship, that's a lost season.

Speaker 1 Like, that's the Bills this year. If they lose, they don't win the Super Bowl, it's a loss.

Speaker 3 Wow, I like what you're doing right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're just putting you're putting this like if the Bills don't win the Super Bowl, but you're like, they're no Patriots, yeah, and you're still

Speaker 1 talking about the Patriots. You're retroactively comparing the old Patriots already to the Bills.

Speaker 1 I like it, I think it's no, but I'm just talking about like how it would feel when the Patriots would lose. It'd be a regular season loss, you'd be devastated.

Speaker 1 And now, realistically, it's like, and they still should have beat the Dolphins, it's the rookie head coach against Belichick. That's a tough, that's a tough, that's a tough loss, but

Speaker 1 I just don't have like if whereas before, if the Patriots didn't win the championship, I was devastated. Now it's like if the Patriots make the playoffs, that's a winning season.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, okay, and every Sunday it's like when it is, but I'm just like, I'm

Speaker 1 come down to earth. You're back with the normal.
I'm fully ready to admit that the Patriots, like, I'm not going to be cocky. You woke up from the dream.
Yes. You basically woke up because

Speaker 1 watching the game today,

Speaker 1 hearing you and the way you were talking, I could tell there was a tone change. You were like, this team is not good.

Speaker 1 They reminded me at times of like a Big Ten West offense where it felt like every single yard was hard to get. Like

Speaker 1 every first down was hard to get.

Speaker 1 Every drive was like, you know, every play just felt difficult. And they don't have a dominant defense.
That could have been Mike McDaniel was, he called every single play in the pillbook.

Speaker 1 He was calling the craziest misdirection, screen plays, cross plays I've never even seen before.

Speaker 3 He realized that it might be a smart idea to just get the ball into the fastest player in the history of the earth. Like get the ball into his hands a few times a game.

Speaker 3 Like they were scheming him open, and obviously the Patriots are trying to stop him. But Hank, you're right that it seemed like

Speaker 3 when the Patriots had the ball, or maybe Biquette, you might have just said this, but the first downs that they were getting, which were few and far between, seemed like they were scratching and clawing to get every single yard.

Speaker 3 There were so many seven-yard completions that were like to the far side of the field where Mac puts his entire body into it.

Speaker 3 You make a diving catch, and it's the hardest seven yards you've ever gotten. Right.
Nothing seemed easy for the Patriots. And

Speaker 3 it's very nice to see Hank get humbled like this. It really is.
And I think you're taking it pretty well. I'm sure you'll lash out eventually about all this.
But

Speaker 1 that's the thing where people, I think, want to get mad and be like, oh, the Patriots.

Speaker 3 It's like. I like that you're ready to go.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're not that good anymore. We won three.
Well, we won three Silver Bowls when I was a kid. You know, my middle-age, middle-aged high school and beginning of college years were tough.

Speaker 1 We had two Super Bowl losses.

Speaker 1 And then we won three Super Bowls right when I started working at Barcelona. They were unbelievable times.
I'll never forget them. But those days are over.
Yeah. And I've accepted it.

Speaker 1 I've accepted it.

Speaker 3 Which is nice. I'm looking forward to you becoming a loser just like us, though.
It's going to be great. Like scratching and clawing your way to seven and ten.

Speaker 1 Man. But Ice.
With all this said, Belichick's still like,

Speaker 1 I don't think that they didn't look very good, but I'm not going to, I'm trying to not overreact to everything week one, except the Packers. They're completely dead.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to like have a little bit of big picture. So I'm sure the Patriots will look good next week, but this one was a little shocking just with how tough it looked for them to get yards.

Speaker 1 Also, but that kind of plays into the whole, like, it is true they had one of the best offensive minded. Jules was talking about it.

Speaker 1 Like, Josh McDaniels, one of the best offensive minds in the entire league. He's obviously coaching with the Raiders

Speaker 1 and it's not all Belichick. You know, everyone gives all the credit to Belichick,

Speaker 1 but I think it's obviously proven over the years. No more Brady, no more McDaniels.
It's not just Belichick. And when you lose one of the best offensive-minded coaches in the league,

Speaker 1 your offense isn't going to look as good. What if?

Speaker 1 It's not like rocket science. What if

Speaker 1 Patricia would not?

Speaker 1 What if

Speaker 1 it was rocket science? They'd probably be better. This is the best part of

Speaker 1 what Belichick has done. You can just basically say everything that he does is genius and calculated.
What if he was like Matt Patricia, offensive coordinator?

Speaker 1 He's going to be so bad, he will be the perfect fall guy. No one, everyone would be like, Look at this dumb idiot who's trying to coach, like, do plays.

Speaker 1 Bill Belichick is just trying to set his guys up. How could you blame him for being loyal? Well, that's why I say genius.
I'm in Joe Judge because you don't even know who's calling the plays.

Speaker 3 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 3 I think it's like one level past what Big Cat said, which is he's giving it, he's putting all the attention on Matt Patricia and Joe Joe Judge, and you don't know even which one of those two guys is fucking everything up.

Speaker 3 It's like one of them is, so it's Belichick.

Speaker 3 It's Belichick taking all the blame and responsibility and getting rid of it himself while also not throwing one single guy under the bus because it's still up in the air.

Speaker 3 It's like, you know, how in a firing squad, you give one guy the blank, so they don't know that they're the ones.

Speaker 3 He's probably got them both calling plays, and they don't know which one is actually the one that's being used as the offensive.

Speaker 1 And that's why Mac Jones is struggling. Now, this is the big question is mac jones the guy

Speaker 3 that's he hurt his back he got uh he got x-rays on it oh really because that's the that's the part

Speaker 1 that you have to ask yourself because it's not like i still think if belichek wants to keep coaching he could coach for another decade and probably win a ton of football games but if you don't have the quarterback if he's not the quarterback it like when are you going to start asking yourself that or are i think he's the guy i think it's his second year okay tom brady's second year you know i mean i had we're going to talk about the Bears, but there was moments in the first half of that.

Speaker 1 They won the Super Bowl, but it was on the back of one of the best defenses of all time. Yeah, right.
Like Tom Brady wasn't the guy in 2001.

Speaker 3 Now, Hank, I got a tough question for you.

Speaker 3 Hypothetically,

Speaker 3 what would you do if Belichick left and coached somewhere else?

Speaker 3 I'd be destroyed. That'd be a real shame.

Speaker 1 Why would you say that?

Speaker 3 No, I'm just curious.

Speaker 3 Nebraska?

Speaker 1 No, I'm curious.

Speaker 3 Well, yeah, the job's open right now.

Speaker 1 Listen, again, this is where it's like, you guys, haters, always cross. What if you left the coach? I don't know if I'm hater master.
That was a real question.

Speaker 1 This is a real question that, again, you haven't had to go through, but like

Speaker 1 going through the process of is the current quarterback the guy, that's a hard thing to do as a fan that most fans of NFL teams have had to do many times over. Unfortunately, many, many times over.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think you got to give it time. Again, it's only a second year.
But I also, I think

Speaker 1 it's a lot less stress-free when your team isn't that good. Like, again, I bring up the Bills analogy, and I'm not doing that to troll.
I'm really not.

Speaker 1 The Bills are the Super Bowl favorites, and it's like every, there's so much pressure on them. So much pressure.
Every single game, if they lose, the world is falling.

Speaker 1 And if they don't win the Super Bowl, it's a humongous failure. Like, that's a lot of pressure.
Week one, and then you have to watch that the entire season. It's not fun.
It's very unnerving.

Speaker 1 It's like that new Nick Cage movie.

Speaker 3 It was like the enormous weight of incredible talent. Yeah.
Heavy is the head that wears the crown is what it's like.

Speaker 1 getting at and that's where it's like the bills it's it's super bowl or bust and it's not it's it's it's a lot hank you the is he is you your quarterback the guy is a conversation that i have in my head every single day forever because it's just that's just when you don't have a guy you're just constantly asking yourself that so that was why i asked you might you might not even be close to there with mac jones i like mac jones i think he's the guy so there you go then you're good and you're good and you know what we're getting at here like i just realized what we've done we've

Speaker 3 We just buried the Patriots week one.

Speaker 1 No, I did. That's what I'm saying.
They're not trying to overreact.

Speaker 3 Well, we kind of did. And I'm standing by our overreaction because I do think that they stand.

Speaker 1 No, I think they're going to win next week. I'm actually going to take them against the Steelers.

Speaker 3 But then what's going to happen is, like, I'm terrified now that the Patriots are going to go on a serious run later this season. And then Hank's going to be like, suck my dick, you guys.

Speaker 1 I'm back.

Speaker 3 And he's going to forget all the humility

Speaker 3 and lessons learned. No.
And Hank's going to do another victory lap and do a little parade, stick his chest out like he's dotting the eyes.

Speaker 1 I did that last year year

Speaker 1 and after the playoff game against the Bills, I was like, I'm not, I'm not bearing that's over.

Speaker 1 I was just asking you that question because I'm like thinking about how the Bills are the best team in the FCUs, yeah.

Speaker 1 I was just thinking how often I have that conversation with like friends and everyone, like, is this person the guy?

Speaker 1 And it sucks because then you're just constantly like memes is just nodding his head behind me, like, because he's just like, Yeah, the Jets every two years would be quiet.

Speaker 3 Yeah, um, Jake, do you have any comment about the Dolphins? Because I would like to see you put your sportsmanship on full display.

Speaker 1 The Dolphins looked awesome. Yeah, those two.

Speaker 7 The first half, I've never felt that before. Good coaching decisions, good quarterback play, explosive plays, great defense.
They had the scrub and score.

Speaker 1 It was literally

Speaker 7 perfect 30 minutes of football. I've never experienced that.

Speaker 3 You flew that one with Melvin Ingram, not mentioning that he was on the Dolphins. That took me by surprise.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Also,

Speaker 1 do you have the stat? The stat.

Speaker 1 Only quarterbacks to be undefeated against Bill Belichick. 3-0.
Can you name the three?

Speaker 1 I saw the stat. Oh, you saw it.
So John Elway is 4-0. Our guy, Jake Plumber's

Speaker 1 going to whip that out. Yeah, that would be sick.
And Tua is 4-0. I saw Tua Bell Channel.

Speaker 3 Tua is 4-0.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so

Speaker 1 John Elway, Jake Plummer, Tua are the only three quarterbacks. Multiple wins and be undefeated, I think, would be the exact stat.

Speaker 3 Yeah, because what about Nick Foles?

Speaker 3 He's got to be.

Speaker 1 No, didn't they lose that season?

Speaker 1 No, I can't remember. Yeah, he might be 2-0.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know if they played other seasons.

Speaker 1 But the Dolphins look awesome. Damn, let's bring that up.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 Jake, like,

Speaker 1 the Dolphins look very good. Nothing really went wrong.

Speaker 7 Like, this is a make-or-break year for Tua. Like, if Tua doesn't have a good year,

Speaker 1 Tua looks good.

Speaker 7 That's a good question you guys were talking about earlier.

Speaker 7 Probably not the guy.

Speaker 1 Tuanon would like to address the fact that there was one clip going around about a Tua ball that fell like 20 yards short, and that was a tip pass. Okay.
So just want to have that record show.

Speaker 1 What would you guys have said if Mike McDaniel wore Supreme Air Force Ones and then got smoked?

Speaker 1 Wait, did he get smoked? No, I'm saying it's a swaggy move. No, I respect the move, but I think it's like one of those things where it's,

Speaker 1 again, Tyree Kill's right. Huge balls.
I like Mike McDaniel. If you lose that game wearing those shoes, it's like, what?

Speaker 1 I think having somebody that's that different,

Speaker 3 I think that's really good. I think it's awesome to have different characters in the sport.

Speaker 3 Like, that's where we get 99% of our content is out of these different types of personalities that that we have across the league.

Speaker 3 If you're just like a carbon clone of somebody, if you're trying to do like the Bill Belichick disciple thing where they try to be Bill Belichick somewhere, that's not going to work.

Speaker 3 You have to be yourself. I think McDaniel's being himself.

Speaker 1 I don't know if it's going to work long term, but look the honesty thing that Jules was saying. And like, you can be the fun, happy guy that's like got a funny answer to everything.

Speaker 1 But if your team starts losing or hard times come about, like, how do you respond to that? And

Speaker 1 we don't know, but off to a great start for Mike McDaniel. Dolphins,

Speaker 1 in terms of like impressive performances, they're up there for week one.

Speaker 1 I was definitely impressed with how they played.

Speaker 3 My one word that I wrote down at the top and I underlined was roughshod. They ran roughshod.
I've never used that expression before, but it seemed like it felt good in the moment.

Speaker 3 And Hank was like, what does roughshod mean? I was like, you got your shit pushed in. Yeah.
That's basically what it means.

Speaker 1 Yeah, two was 23 for 33, 270, and one TD. And that one pass was a deflected pass.
So I just want to say that.

Speaker 7 It's not like OMG numbers or whatever. No, but

Speaker 1 he didn't make the big error that we all thought was coming.

Speaker 1 We all thought the game was going to basically turn on a big two mistake, and it never came. So

Speaker 1 he played a clean game. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. Next up,

Speaker 1 Steelers-Bengals.

Speaker 1 Steelers 23, Bengals 20.

Speaker 1 Zach Taylor, now in the list of guys who didn't play any of his offensive players, any snaps in the preseason.

Speaker 1 And it showed their new offensive line, like the first half, the Bengals came out, and it looked like they had not done anything together ever. Like they hadn't hung out together, anything.

Speaker 1 Joe Burrow had a very bad game, I would say.

Speaker 3 What if his appendix was the part of his body that was making all the good decisions?

Speaker 1 That would suck for him. Yeah.
But I did think, like,

Speaker 1 Joe Burrow makes sense because he probably lost some weight. He had surgery.
He missed preseason for a reason. The rest of the team, there's less of an excuse.

Speaker 3 And even with all that, Joe Burrow still kind of won the game. Yeah.
Like, the Bengals kind of won that game.

Speaker 3 It was a tough ending where they blocked that extra point. Or was it just a miss?

Speaker 1 It was a blocked extra point.

Speaker 3 Blocked extra point at the end.

Speaker 1 And then it was a bad snap on Evan McPherson's overtime field goal.

Speaker 3 That's right. And then the Steelers also doinked one in overtime.

Speaker 1 And so, all right. So one thing as a side, so our guy Stad Hole Sports, who now works for Barstool Sports, part-time blogger, but very funny.
Go follow him on Twitter.

Speaker 1 He said that

Speaker 1 there were 10 fourth-quarters missed kicks or extra points today. And I think that the kickers are just, if the kickers fuck up, we just have fun Sundays.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 they are the canary in the coal mine for like great Sundays.

Speaker 3 Kickers fucking up, especially when it's Bengals kickers. Evan McPherson did this.
Remember that game last time? Against the Packers. Against the Packers.

Speaker 3 That might have been the most fun NFL Sunday of the regular season.

Speaker 1 There was 12 that Sunday.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 we all sync up, us kickers, like sorority houses on their periods, and we all fuck up at the same time. It has something to do with the moon, I'm sure about it.

Speaker 3 But yes, that does translate into a much more chaotic, especially when overtimes are involved. You get like ties, and sometimes what's more exciting than ties is near ties.
Ties where

Speaker 3 people snatch a victory from the jaws of a tie.

Speaker 1 Your breath away from... And this game should have...

Speaker 1 been tied.

Speaker 1 And Zach Taylor made an egregious error where he was playing for the tie, punting, and he left 15 seconds, his punter left 15 seconds on the play clock. I don't know.
That is a coaching thing.

Speaker 3 So Zach Taylor explained that away.

Speaker 1 I'm glad you brought that up.

Speaker 3 No, no, he intentionally snapped it with 15 seconds left. He goes, it's a new operation.
We snapped there with 13 seconds. I understand that.

Speaker 3 Trust me, we'd rather do something different, but just trying to make sure the operation ran smoothly.

Speaker 3 It turned out that we sacrificed some seconds just to make sure that we were all on the same page there. And so it was a completely

Speaker 3 intentional snapping to make sure the operation went well. It was just a prank.
It was because the operation needed to be on the same page, which is why they snapped snapped it.

Speaker 1 And the 13 seconds ended up being very crucial as the Steelers needed it to win the game, and they did.

Speaker 1 And the Steelers, I actually feel bad for Steelers fans, even though Jersey Jerry, our friend who we watch all the games with,

Speaker 1 wished that my quarterback dies. But Steelers fans, there can't be a worse feeling than winning week one against your rival and then having your best player be out for the season, most likely.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and you're

Speaker 3 your second best player taking the torch from Big Ben and walking out in a walking boot.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so that's the, that's the story. TJ Watt possibly out for the season, looked like he tore a pack, and like that is, he was a complete menace.
The, the Steelers, well, they have seven sacks?

Speaker 3 He was a monster to him.

Speaker 1 Seven sacks, and they forced five turnovers. It was insane.
Like, their defense was everywhere. And you have, I mean, he's probably,

Speaker 1 if he's not the best defensive player in the league, he's he's second behind Aaron Donald, and he's the most important guy they have.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I also thought that Mitch was better than Big Ben was last year, which is really all you can say.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and

Speaker 1 that's the scary part about the TJ Watt injury. The Steelers scored 23 points, but their offense was not very good.
Like, I think they won the game with 13 first downs in an overtime game.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's tough.

Speaker 3 Their running game is stink. Their running game continues to be stink.
Pretty bad stink.

Speaker 1 Their offense did not look like it was. They had a couple nice screen passes.

Speaker 3 I respect what Mike Tomlin did on their very first drive when he challenged. Yeah.
Because he was just like, get these things out of my pocket. I'm so bad.

Speaker 1 He lost a challenge four minutes into the season.

Speaker 3 Which is, it's great because

Speaker 3 you don't have to have that weight hanging around later. I actually think if you look up the stats, it's probably between Lovey Smith and Mike Tomlin for being the worst challengers of all time.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 Also, I have a fun staff for you.

Speaker 3 In 1986.

Speaker 1 1986. Hank.
Hank.

Speaker 1 That was yours.

Speaker 3 You incepted me with that one, I think.

Speaker 1 1986.

Speaker 3 Challenger? Yeah. Too soon.

Speaker 1 Mitch is 4-0 against the AFC North. Okay.
As a starter.

Speaker 3 Let's go, Mitch.

Speaker 1 Let's remind ourselves of that.

Speaker 1 He plays in the AFC North now.

Speaker 3 All Mitch has to do is just keep the Kenny Pickett questions away for another week.

Speaker 3 For a minute. That's all he has to hope for because obviously they're going to go to Kenny at some point.

Speaker 3 But if they win football games, it's going to be one of those situations where it's like, well, we won.

Speaker 1 So I guess we're staying with Mitch. And the Bengals are going to be fine.
Like, that was like you said, they won that game.

Speaker 1 And they actually, it was crazy watching it being like these are the same Bengals where they're just the horseshoe up their ass is going to continue because they should have won it in regulation if it wasn't for a blocked extra point.

Speaker 1 So I'm not really worried about the Bengals, but preseason might matter. Like Jules, I've now started taking mental notes.
Jules is right.

Speaker 1 Like you go to Aaron Rodgers, you go to Russell Wilson tomorrow or tonight didn't take any preseason snaps. Like be careful.
The Rams didn't. So I, yeah, preseason matters.

Speaker 1 It clearly was like the Bengals, they didn't basically show up until the second half. So and it was a little too late.
You're talking about first quarter.

Speaker 3 Yeah, no, you're talking me in right now to betting on the Seahawks because I think the Seahawks first quarter. Russell, Mr.

Speaker 3 I'm Anointed as the leader of this team, haven't played a snap, I'm the captain, versus Iron Sharpens Iron with Drew Locke and Geno Smith going head-to-head with each other like a couple bull elephants.

Speaker 1 Like the Rams, the Bengals, and the Packers offense all looked abysmal. I mean, the Bengals kind of picked it up towards the end.
Seahawks first quarter, but they looked abysmal for the first half.

Speaker 1 I mean, don't ask me because I'm the worst gambler on planet Earth. I'm doing it.
I'm as cold as possible. I couldn't be colder, but Seahawks' first half game of my life is.

Speaker 3 It's going to be like DK

Speaker 3 going up against

Speaker 3 four people at the same time, which he's used to. Yep.

Speaker 3 And then it's going to be like Drew Locke begging and pleading to not get sacked. Elijah Penny probably getting injured by the third quarter.

Speaker 3 But still, that first quarter looks blind.

Speaker 1 Jake just gave me the look like when you would swear around your parents when you were like 12 years old. What? They're like, come on, are you serious?

Speaker 1 When I said Seahawks first quarter game of my lifetime, he's like, come on.

Speaker 3 You can do quarter of the year. You can do quarter of the year.

Speaker 1 It's a quarter of the liar. It's a quarter of my lifetime.
Yeah. No, that will be the quarter of my lifetime.
So, Geno Smith. I'm pulling for you.

Speaker 1 He played in preseason. He was in a QB battle.
He had to play in preseason.

Speaker 3 That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 yeah it's survival of the fittest and so he's going to wear his scars will make him stronger yes um all right so yes he doesn't get punched in the face by a teammate before then yeah well he's just got to pay his debts yeah uh zach taylor tough game steeler like both teams lost because steelers lost tj watt in a way both teams won though when

Speaker 3 also yes yes both teams should have been a fucking tie this should have been this is stupid i'm counting this as a tie zach taylor robbed us can you make sure that as the season progresses like i'm counting this i'm gonna count as a win for the steelers but it should be at least a tie for the Bengals.

Speaker 1 Correct. As the season goes on.
Yes. All right, before we get to the next game, PFT, you got a quick word for one of our sponsors?

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Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 Commanders 28, Jaguars 22.

Speaker 1 The Carson Wentz roller coaster.

Speaker 3 Oh my God.

Speaker 1 I wasn't ready for you on it.

Speaker 3 I wasn't ready for it. I fucking hated the guy.
I loved him. I hated him again.
I hated myself for loving him. I loved myself for hating him.

Speaker 3 It was everything that I've seen other people experience Carson Wentz

Speaker 3 through, like I've seen it through their eyes before, but feeling it yourself is a different animal.

Speaker 1 It was so perfect. It was such a perfect Carson Wentz game.
I went through

Speaker 1 the play sheet. He started the game seven for, or sorry, 11 for 16 with two touchdowns.

Speaker 3 Fucking awesome.

Speaker 1 Awesome. Then the next drives went in order.
Punt, fumble. That wasn't his fumble.
Punt, punt, interception, interception.

Speaker 1 And then he finished with two huge touchdown drives. It was essentially all of Carson Wentz smashed into one game.

Speaker 3 So I think the ultimate Carson Wentz experience is

Speaker 3 he is electric and fun to root for

Speaker 3 because he has to dig himself out of the holes that he creates for himself so frequently.

Speaker 3 And he does have the ability to get you in some pretty fucking deep holes, and he's also got the rope necessary to get out of those holes occasionally.

Speaker 1 He's like a terrible Chinese knockoff Brett Favre.

Speaker 3 That's one way to put it. I was also going to say like a Chilean miner

Speaker 3 where you're just stuck down there in your own shit for a long time and then occasionally you get dragged out and then Darren Ravel is like, wow, look how much they're paying him.

Speaker 1 Like those Oakleys.

Speaker 3 Yeah, exactly. So Carson Wentz, not only did he throw two interceptions, he threw two interceptions on back-to-back plays.
And at that point, I was like, okay, we're absolutely done here.

Speaker 3 I did forget it was 73 degrees. 73 degrees, as Stad Hole Sports told us, that is Carson Wentz's best temperature.

Speaker 3 He's the best quarterback in the history of sports playing in exactly 73-degree weather, which is what it was like in Ral John today.

Speaker 3 And yeah, he got us out of it.

Speaker 3 The passes to Jahan Dotson were awesome. And Jahan Dotson is,

Speaker 3 I would put a future on him to get rookie of the year. Your wide receivers are awesome.

Speaker 1 Really good. We got three.
Very good.

Speaker 3 Awesome receivers with McLaurin, John Dotson, and then Curtis Samuel, who's the rare guy that gets brought over by a former coach of his, brings him with him to town, and then spends the first year and a half completely injured.

Speaker 3 But your coach is like, no, trust me, when this guy's healthy, he'll be good. Now he's healthy, and he's fucking amazing.

Speaker 3 And Antonio Gibson, I guess. Remembered how to hold on to the football now? Yeah.
So he's good.

Speaker 3 And I just found out we're going to get Brian Robinson back from being shot twice in the leg in week five. So everything.
That's hard.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 He's missing as much time from getting shot twice as Dak Prescott is missing from accidentally high-fiving a Tampa Bay Buccaneer. That's hard.
It is hard. That is like,

Speaker 3 that's hard. I almost said something really stupid.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.
Well, do you want to say it?

Speaker 3 If the Commanders win the Super Bowl, I'll get shot in my leg. Okay.
Awesome.

Speaker 1 I will shoot you. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Okay. I shouldn't have said that.
I knew.

Speaker 1 I knew I should.

Speaker 1 No, you can't veto this.

Speaker 1 He just said it. You can't shoot.
Do you want to get shot? No, he's not. You're not going to win the Super Bowl.
If this year,

Speaker 1 it has to be this year. He's going to to have the guns.

Speaker 7 And you're going to be like, Jake, you should have done that video.

Speaker 1 No, he's going to win a Super.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's. Okay, if the Bears win a Super Bowl, I'll also get shot.
What caliber?

Speaker 1 Yeah, we got

Speaker 1 this year. This year.
What caliber? Okay,

Speaker 1 22?

Speaker 1 In the leg. I'm not letting you get it.
In the leg.

Speaker 13 0.177.

Speaker 1 When did you guys get so soft over there? It's crazy. I always think I'm going to be able to do that.
Dude, we're talking about

Speaker 1 James.

Speaker 3 We're talking about the Patriots.

Speaker 1 I'll get fucking shot. All right, let's go.

Speaker 3 Billy, Jets.

Speaker 1 Matt. Jets win the Super Bowl.
And Jake has to do it. Only if Jake does it.
No, because this team might actually do it.

Speaker 3 Jake, Dolphins win the Super Bowl. You get shot?

Speaker 7 No.

Speaker 1 Okay. I am soft.
All right. So there's no chance.
I know, I know. There's no 0% chance

Speaker 1 that the Commanders or the Bears win the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 And if you do, I would be happy to get shot in the leg.

Speaker 3 Like the fleshy part of the thigh.

Speaker 1 Just this year, though. Only this year.

Speaker 1 I'll do my ass.

Speaker 3 This is a Sopranos episode, and it worked out fine for that guy. He got all the street credit in the world.

Speaker 1 I mean, if we're doing all this shit right now, I already have my pinky team, which I shouldn't do.

Speaker 1 It's the Cardinals. They're not winning the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 The Cardinals are not winning the Super Bowl. They're definitely not.
That is my pinky team. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 I mean, BFT fucking... They're definitely not.
He got me worked up.

Speaker 1 He got me worked up.

Speaker 3 I did kind of one-up the pinky with the ass shot.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but no, the Cardinals are my pinky team.

Speaker 13 Let's do shot in the ass, because then there's no.

Speaker 1 That's fine. No, no, no, no.

Speaker 3 The shot in the ass makes sense for the Commanders. Big Cat does have his pinky team.

Speaker 1 And I also will get shot in the ass if the Bears win the Super Bowl this year. I'll let Jake shoot me with a bow and arrow.

Speaker 3 That sounds actually really dangerous.

Speaker 1 Wait, super dangerous. Compound bow? Wait, but then you have to pull it out.
Billy, if the Jets win the Super Bowl, we get to light you on fire.

Speaker 1 Come on. Fireman Ed.
He fell down.

Speaker 1 Deal. Yeah, okay.
All right, Beach. I'll get that on fire, too.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'm basically turning it to Jockass. No, it's not Jackass.

Speaker 3 Yeah, this is actually just a snuff film that's disguised disguised as a sports podcast.

Speaker 1 Should I take back my Pinky team? No, no. Okay, all right.

Speaker 3 Well, now, to be fair, Big Cat, you just waited.

Speaker 3 It's week two, and a team has to be. Wait, who do the Cardinals play next week?

Speaker 1 They play the Raiders.

Speaker 3 Raiders next week, and

Speaker 3 is it a double extra point for Activision next weekend?

Speaker 13 Yeah, yeah. So this week there was double XP.

Speaker 3 Yeah, is it also next week?

Speaker 3 They usually just drop it randomly.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 What is that?

Speaker 3 You get more points for playing Warzone that weekend. No.

Speaker 1 Oh, so okay.

Speaker 1 Maybe that's just the, you know what? That will be the Pinkie Bowl. Okay.
Whichever team loses is my pinky. That's good.
They have to be 0-2. Yep.
That's fair. Raiders, Cardinals is the Pinky Bowl.

Speaker 1 The loser of that game is officially my Pinky. And if anyone knows.
And I'm rooting for the Cardinals to lose.

Speaker 3 They're not winning the Super Bowl. If anyone has a suggestion for a comfortable bullet to get shot in the leg with, please let me know.

Speaker 13 0.177 pellet gun.

Speaker 1 That's a nice one.

Speaker 1 I'm up for the shot in the ass if the Bears would lose it.

Speaker 7 Six storyline guy.

Speaker 1 Pellet gun doesn't count. No, it's got to be a gun.
Yeah, like I want. If you're doing Seriously.

Speaker 3 Like, I want one where if you get caught doing it, you go to jail for attempted murder. Correct.

Speaker 1 This is actually how we can get Billy off the podcast. Yeah, Billy.

Speaker 3 No, but Billy would actually try to kill us.

Speaker 1 That's true.

Speaker 7 I'm a big storyline guy. The last two years in the Super Bowl, the team who plays in that stadium played in the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 And where's Arizona?

Speaker 7 Arizona.

Speaker 1 I don't give a fuck. They're not winning the Super Bowl.

Speaker 7 Bucks in 2020, Rams in 21.

Speaker 1 All right, well, I'll leave it up to whoever loses that game. It's Raiders or the Cardinals.
That's official. I think that's fair.
Those are two teams that have been talked about. Titan,

Speaker 1 that's all. And they've been talked about in Super Bowl fashion or whatever the fuck you want to call it.
All right.

Speaker 1 Oh, Jaguars Commanders. That got sidetracked for a second.
The only other thing I had about this game. I don't think it did.

Speaker 1 That's all completely relevant. Yeah, no, I just couldn't remember what game we were on.
The only other thing, the Jaguars.

Speaker 1 I don't think Trevor Lawrence sucks. I just, there's like four or five times a game where he looks so confused that it looks like he's never played football.

Speaker 3 So he might not completely suck, but he definitely makes throws that only a quarterback that kind of sucked would make.

Speaker 3 He's got flashes where occasionally he'll make an NFL throw, but then he'll under throw somebody by like three yards or four yards that's like wide open.

Speaker 3 And sometimes he looks a little bit lost out there.

Speaker 1 He looks panicked. Yeah.
Like he'll like turn around and he'll just be panicking.

Speaker 1 And you're like, hey, dude, it's like he almost looks like a dog wearing the snow boots where they're like trying to fucking. I don't know.
There's something about it.

Speaker 1 I do not think he sucks, but I'm worried about the four or five times where I'm like, what is he doing right now?

Speaker 3 I miss Urban Meyer. I'll just say it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, Jaguars miss Urban.

Speaker 3 I don't think that a kicker would miss a 37-yarder if there was a possibility that he might get kicked by his head coach after that.

Speaker 1 Or finger up his butt. Yeah.
Or finger up his wife's butt. Yeah, that's true.
That always hung out there.

Speaker 1 And the Jaguars, this is why I always preach making sure that your first-round draft picks get injured so then you can just delay the first-round draft pick nature of it. They had three

Speaker 1 current first-round draft picks on the field today with Etienne making his debut. He was awesome.
Yeah, he was.

Speaker 1 He wasn't, he didn't have great stats, but he looked explosive. Trayvon Walker made the pick that was sick.
He was all over the place.

Speaker 1 And then Devin Lloyd, who they also drafted in the first round this year, had like 11 tackles. So this is...
If I was running a team,

Speaker 1 Sam Hinkey kind of did it, but he has to do it all the way where I I would just keep drafting and every year I'd make every single first-round draft pick sit out until like six years accumulated them and then have them all play at once.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And then they'd be super.

Speaker 3 I mean, ATN, I think, is going to be an electric player this year.

Speaker 3 I think one thing I haven't really noticed until watching Carson Wentz as my guy about his game is that he is really, really top tier in the NFL.

Speaker 3 I mean, like elite level at flailing his body when he gets hit a little bit late in the pocket. Oh, yeah.
Like he's got his arms and legs going in every direction possible.

Speaker 3 He'll flip over like 180 degrees onto his side if you just so much as breathe on him. And there's some quarterbacks that are not good at that.

Speaker 3 Like Joe Burrow is one where I think Joe Burrow actually, he's almost too tough sometimes. Yeah.
Where when he gets hit late, he's still fighting. And so he doesn't really do the flail helpless thing.

Speaker 3 So he doesn't get as many flags as other quarterbacks do.

Speaker 3 I think Carson Wentz is going to draw every possible flag on a late hit because you touch him on the side of his helmet helmet and he's going to act like JFK. Yeah.
It's pretty good with James.

Speaker 1 And it's annoying when he does this. It's funny when Jameis does it.
Yes.

Speaker 1 And Carson Wentz winking at the camera, just douche chilling. Swag down your spot.

Speaker 3 That was swag. That was swag.

Speaker 1 And I wanted to call the cops. That was swag.
That was the aggressive man. No.

Speaker 1 He's a penny.

Speaker 3 No, you know what? I saw that. I go, you know what?

Speaker 3 That's him.

Speaker 1 It was so.

Speaker 3 He heated that wink.

Speaker 1 No, he, oh, God.

Speaker 1 Everything that Carson Wentz does feels forced, including his throws into traffic. Yeah.
Like, he just does, everything he does is forced.

Speaker 3 Yeah, no, the wink was, it was bad. It was so bad.
But I have no choice but to actually say it's great and just ride with it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I understand what you have to do. All right.

Speaker 3 And then he did also, he did like the first down with just two fingers. It was tough.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. America lubricated.
Let's just say this. I understand why everywhere Carson Wentz goes, everyone in the locker room hates him.
Yeah. It makes perfect.
I mean, I hate him. I do hate him.

Speaker 1 I never met him, but I don't like him.

Speaker 3 Don't get me wrong. I hate him, but I think I also have to love the fact that I hate him.
You're on the roller coaster.

Speaker 3 And shout out to LSU, their football account, retweeted when I said, I tweeted, I fucking hate Carson Wentz after his second consecutive interception.

Speaker 3 Whoever runs that account, I hope they don't get in trouble. But for a while, my replies were just filled with people like, what does this have to do with LSU football? Yeah.

Speaker 3 It has everything to do with LSU football. Of course.
Carson Wentz transcends any sort of personal brand. Carson, everyone should fucking hate Carson Wentz.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yeah, he's the one unifying thing in football.
Yeah. Yeah.
All right. Speaking of Carson Wentz, his old team, Eagles, 38.
Lions, 35.

Speaker 1 We're going to, Max, you're going to have to talk a little bit in this because I do want to hear from you. But this was.

Speaker 1 I don't know what, like, the Lions, are the Lions just going to be this team forever?

Speaker 1 Because they just started the season and they're the exact same team in that they aren't very good and they just keep fighting. I guess they still just need to have a couple more drafts.

Speaker 1 But I saw the stat. The Lions have won

Speaker 1 the Lions have won Jake's getting dehydrated over there. Three out of their last 18 games.
They've covered 12 out of 18 of those. Yeah, so

Speaker 3 here's the thing about the Lions.

Speaker 3 This Lions team is good enough to lose to any team in the NFL by three points.

Speaker 3 And I mean any team. I mean like they could lose to the Jaguars by three points.

Speaker 3 They could lose, on the other hand, to the Eagles or to the Buccaneers or to the Rams or to the Packers or to the Bills by three points. It would not surprise me.
I think they would lose.

Speaker 3 They should lose to every team by exactly three points.

Speaker 3 No give or take on that one. But they are going to be, this is a much better version of the Lions than we've seen in the past.
Right. Where they're not.

Speaker 3 ever going to be sad and blown out by somebody, I don't think.

Speaker 3 Even when they do get blown out, they'll score a couple late touchdowns and make it look like less of a blowout than it really was.

Speaker 1 But so that's, I think, I think the issue with today was Dan Campbell has to adjust to the fact that maybe his team's a little bit better than last year because the onside kick was a last year move that they didn't need to do this year.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the Eagles were kind of doing whatever they wanted on the ground and like throwing, you know, A.J. Brown had like 150 yards, but

Speaker 1 Dan Campbell on-side kick in the third quarter when the Lions cut it to a 10-point game. So it was 31-21.
He on-side kicked. They didn't get it.
The Eagles scored a touchdown two minutes later, 38-21.

Speaker 1 The Eagles win with 38 points. Like, he ⁇ and he was asked after, he's like, yeah, we wanted the ball back.
I get that. That makes sense, Dan Campbell.

Speaker 1 But, like, this isn't... You shouldn't treat...
The Lions can't treat every game like they are an FCS team trying to win in the big house.

Speaker 3 Do you know what I mean? I get it. I think that sometimes Dan has these phases that he gets into or moments in time where he's like, it's time to gamble if you want to win this game.

Speaker 3 And that's not always the smart movement.

Speaker 1 They might be better than that. They might not need the gamble.
I mean, I think they were going to lose anyway because, again, it felt like the Eagles were comfortably in control.

Speaker 3 He gets these moments that he finds himself in where he's like, now's the time where I have to make a winning decision and get aggressive with it.

Speaker 3 But he doesn't understand that that's not necessarily how you actually end up winning games.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 he gets to a fork in the road at every game. He's like, now's the time to be man Campbell.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Do it. Last year they went for it on fourth down.

Speaker 1 I just don't respect it now that I'm talking about it. Like, who? That's an inner gambler of me.
Like, Dan Campbell, I am Dan Campbell. Dan Campbell is me.
So, game of the year week two.

Speaker 3 But you also, like, no, no disrespect, you lost a lot of games this week. Right, I know.

Speaker 1 So, like, no, I know. We're the same guy.
Yeah, you lost a lot of games, too.

Speaker 3 So, maybe he needs to maybe just focus a little bit more on winning activities.

Speaker 1 We should just switch roles. Freaky Friday.
I'll coach the Lions. He can just gamble with my money.

Speaker 3 He also needs to remember that

Speaker 3 he has statistically the best punter in the history of the NFL on his team. People don't talk about Jack Fox enough.
I think we need to respect Jack Fox. I actually think I talk about Jack Fox

Speaker 1 perfect amount.

Speaker 3 I don't think we've discussed him one bit.

Speaker 1 What I just said.

Speaker 3 But he has the highest net punting average and gross punting average in the history of the NFL.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 3 People that qualify with enough punts. So that's all we will ever say about Jack Fox on this team.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was enough Jack Fox.

Speaker 3 But we respect him. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So if anyone ever asked, why don't you talk about Jack Fox? Just point them to September 12th, like, I don't know, 45 minutes into the podcast.

Speaker 3 The Jack Fox Appreciation Podcast.

Speaker 1 And the moment is over.

Speaker 3 Yeah. So, Max, your Eagles look pretty good.

Speaker 1 I have a question about Siriani.

Speaker 1 Okay. So Siriani, after the game,

Speaker 1 he was like whooping it up with the Eagles. Actually, there's like 30 seconds left.
He's whooping it up with the Eagles fans sitting front row.

Speaker 1 It was very like college football coach, like, we're going to the Rose Bowl feel to it. It's week one against the Lions.

Speaker 1 What was up with that?

Speaker 5 I mean, Sirianni has done like a lot of very cringy things since he's

Speaker 5 gotten here. So it's like, I'm not really surprised by anything that he does anymore.
Right. Like, that's just who he is.

Speaker 1 It felt like a lot for week one. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Well, yeah, I mean, everything he does is a lot.

Speaker 1 And he went to the playoffs last year. It's not like his first ever win.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But

Speaker 5 like I said, nothing surprised me with him as far as pandering to the fans because that's just all he does.

Speaker 1 He's just pander, pander, pander.

Speaker 5 But he's shown to be a pretty good coach. So at this point, if he keeps winning games, then I don't really give a shit.

Speaker 1 What about the defense? 35 points and a lot of parts.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 Started off slow, came back, and I was like.

Speaker 3 Stop Jared, though.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true. All right, yeah, no, that's fine.
You don't even have to say anything because, yeah, it was Jared Goff. He's fucking awesome.
He went to a Super Bowl.

Speaker 3 I think that Dan Campbell is going to have a problem because he's so emotional of a guy. Like, leading into every single week, he's got to just wear his heart on his sleeve the entire week.

Speaker 3 And then when you get to game day, he's super emotional. Yeah.
And then by that point, you're kind of drained. Maybe as a team, he needs to figure out a way to just like turn his entire,

Speaker 3 what's the part of your brain that controls your emotions? He needs to turn into like a psychopath during the week that doesn't have emotions. Yeah.

Speaker 3 And then just like finally let things out on a Sunday because at some point you just like tune out. the over-the-top like passion that anybody has.

Speaker 3 I don't think that you can, like, you can't get it up for that long, that consistently, when it comes to somebody's emotions. Eventually it has to die down.
Right. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You have to kind of step on the gas and then let up and just let your team the ebbs and flows. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I just, I think the Lions are friskier than last year so that Dan Campbell doesn't have to on-side kick in the third quarters. And the Eagles,

Speaker 1 A.J. Brown is awesome.
I am a little worried about like that's a weird defensive performance to start, especially considering like it's been a lot of talk about their defense.

Speaker 1 But, and one last thing with the Eagles, Nick Siriani did say that he thought Jalen Hurts played like an outstanding game and he had control of it from start to finish.

Speaker 1 And while he did have a good game and he didn't make any mistakes, he was like 18 for 32. He wasn't incredible.
So I don't know where the ceiling that he expects for Jalen Hurts.

Speaker 3 18 for 32 is pretty good, though. Yeah.
Like Jalen Hurts, a couple years ago,

Speaker 3 coming into the NFL, it was like very much a question whether or not he could start a game in the world.

Speaker 1 Well, no, so I guess the question is, like, does 18 for 32 is not that good?

Speaker 1 It's okay.

Speaker 1 But that was my point. It's like, that's okay for Jalen Hurts, but where...

Speaker 1 Jalen Hurts, if he's phenomenal, I think the Eagles team can win the Super Bowl. Yeah, but

Speaker 1 he was talking like he was phenomenal.

Speaker 3 I don't know where that line goes. Right, he was not phenomenal today, but 18 for 32 for Jalen Hurts.
And he also had 90 yards rushing.

Speaker 3 I was going to say, if he's doing stuff with his legs, then yes, that can be a phenomenal performance. Like, Jalen Hurts is not going to be a guy that throws like 75% completion percentage.

Speaker 1 No, but he didn't have any touchdown passes. He didn't make any big mistakes.

Speaker 1 And I do think that Sirianni deserves credit for figuring out a way to get the most out of him, especially running the football. Yeah.

Speaker 3 So next week, they've got the commanders at home. Guess whose spread is it, anyways?

Speaker 1 Whose line is it, anyways?

Speaker 3 What we're doing this year.

Speaker 1 It's sponsored.

Speaker 1 What's it sponsored by?

Speaker 3 It's sponsored by Drew Carey.

Speaker 1 Drew Carey. Okay.

Speaker 5 They have the Vikings on Monday Night Football next year. Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 So you're

Speaker 1 hypothetical. You've been a week off with every football game.
I have. Do you know what the date is? Because

Speaker 1 you were talking up your JMU versus App State game next week.

Speaker 3 Well, that is their next game that they have on the schedule.

Speaker 1 So does the Commanders have a week two by?

Speaker 1 We're missing.

Speaker 3 Wait, no, they are playing next Sunday.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. Patrol knows.

Speaker 1 I'm seeing Vikings at Eagles Monday September 19th oh no I'm seeing what the fuck are you guys looking commanders what are you guys looking no no I'm talking about the lions

Speaker 3 I was saying the lions game oh

Speaker 3 I was saying the lions are hosting the commanders next week true did anyone else think that he was talking about

Speaker 1 the eagles because we were talking about the eagles I was talking about the commanders I don't think I don't think I said the eagle I think it's no but we were talking about nick siriani and jalen hurts and you're like so the commanders are playing We'll have to play that back.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you said Eagles.

Speaker 3 I'm not sure.

Speaker 1 You'll never know. Yeah, we'll never know.
Guess who's first?

Speaker 1 All right. Commanders.
Sorry, I won't look. I won't look.
Commanders at Lions.

Speaker 3 I'd like to apologize to you, Max. Would you like to apologize to me?

Speaker 1 I would also like to apologize. Double apology.

Speaker 1 I'm going to say Commanders. Commanders minus one and a half.

Speaker 3 Lions by one.

Speaker 1 Lions are favored

Speaker 1 next week. Okay.

Speaker 1 Whoa. Could they get the big win?

Speaker 3 I think it's going to be commanders win by three points. Okay.
I think the Lions are just going to lose by three points to everyone.

Speaker 1 All season long. All right.
Next up, Bears are also 1-0. Bears, 19, Niners, 10.
Welcome to the club. Feels good.

Speaker 1 Crazy weather game. Crazy to have that weather game this early in the year.

Speaker 1 The field looked like shit.

Speaker 1 The guys sliding in the end zone was awesome. Those pictures were sick.

Speaker 1 I was very happy.

Speaker 1 I'm happy. I don't think the Bears are going to be great.

Speaker 1 I know they're not going to be great, but I'm happy because I went into this season being like, they're going to be frisky and beating a team like the Niners as seven-point underdogs is a very frisky move.

Speaker 3 That was nice of our friend Greg Kittle to sit out this week.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And Elijah Mitchell to get hurt again.

Speaker 3 R.I.P. to Soldier Field.
Yeah. I think that's...
probably a record time for how quickly it gets damaged for the rest of the season.

Speaker 1 It was... It's bad.
It's really, really bad. And yeah, I was just, I don't know.
I didn't think that was actually the best part about that game.

Speaker 1 Well, there's two parts that I loved is that one, I was having all first half is Justin Fields. Like, what's going on?

Speaker 1 He made some big plays in the second half, especially when he threw the Dante Pettis touchdown where he like rolled out of the pocket, hit him down the sideline when he got free.

Speaker 1 And then two, Matt Eberflus. Like, Matt Nagy loses that game 20-0.

Speaker 1 And I don't want to compare him to the last guy, but the Bears came out and they actually fought back and they played like disciplined defense. They had no penalties in the second half.

Speaker 1 They did the right things, forced some turnovers. I was very happy.
They're frisky.

Speaker 3 On the other side of the ball, I feel like

Speaker 3 we might get started with a Jimmy G talk sooner rather than later because Trey Lance did not look good at all together.

Speaker 1 That game can't be decided, though, because of weather. Right.
The weather was so crazy.

Speaker 3 The weather was bad, but also Trey Lance made some. pretty bad plays.
Yeah, he did. He looked in way over his head.
The Eddie Jackson.

Speaker 3 But that's the dangers that you're going to have when you re-sign Jimmy G to that new structured contract and you just have him kind of like lurking over your young quarterback's shoulder.

Speaker 3 Like that conversation is going to happen if you go on the road and lose to the Bears in like a disgusting manner week one. And obviously the Bears did good things.
Like Justin Fields did look good.

Speaker 1 No, his second half was

Speaker 1 abysmal in the first half. He was three for nine, 19 yards and interception.
That was when I was like, this is going to be a way longer season than I thought.

Speaker 1 And then he made, like, Justin Fields made, he did the thing that he did at Ohio State where it's like hey I'm gonna use my feet to open up the pass not just you know tuck it and run like he's he's extending the play to then make the big play not I'm gonna just try to run the ball at first sight of of issues the thing that I saw that was a little bit different about Justin Fields this year was that he didn't look panicked all the time yeah right like the game definitely slowed down for him a little bit don't say that that's trigger why because he said that last year in the preseason oh well the game he's like the game's super slow for me and then he

Speaker 1 slowed down.

Speaker 3 Like, if you watched him last year, he looked terrified. Yeah.
He looked like he was thinking.

Speaker 1 Well, that Browns game,

Speaker 1 everything.

Speaker 3 Yeah, he was thinking every single step that he made, every time he would turn his head. It was like there was a smaller Justin Fields inside of Justin Fields moving him around like a robot.

Speaker 3 In this game today, it looked like he was having fun playing football like a normal human being should at this level. So he looked good.
Also, Debo is just still fucking amazing. He's awesome.

Speaker 3 Debo, at some point, Kyle Shanahan should have just been like, hey, let's just give the ball to Debo every play and tell him to run into somebody's face because he's awesome when he does that.

Speaker 1 And like, hey, Debo, I'm sorry that we ever had any contract issues. You should have had everything.

Speaker 1 But I'm not going to take too much away from the fact, like, both Trey Lance and Justin Fields, those conditions were horrendous.

Speaker 1 It is funny because there's obviously all the talk about them moving to Arlington Heights and getting a dome, and this was like, this was score one for bear weather.

Speaker 1 Like, the Bears don't win this game probably if we don't have that weather and shit just

Speaker 1 doesn't fall apart and Trey Lance looks like shit in the second half.

Speaker 3 Kurt Warner hated this game.

Speaker 1 Hated this game. But I am happy.
I'm happy. I don't have any complaints.

Speaker 1 Dad Eberflus looks like he,

Speaker 1 like I said before, I think I said it a couple weeks ago, like looks like they're doing the little things that make them seem like a competent team.

Speaker 1 And if you do the little things, you can be frisky even though you don't have great talent. You can beat a team any given Sunday.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Congratulations on being one of those.

Speaker 1 Thank you. Congratulations to you.

Speaker 3 There's nothing to be ashamed of, no matter who you are. If your team goes 1-0, great job.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 0-1 teams, different story. Also, one last stat.
30 teams since 1999 have won a game while missing two extra points or more. The Bucs in 2020 did that.

Speaker 1 So they're one of the teams, and the Bears did that today. It's a Super Bowl.

Speaker 3 They missed two extra points today?

Speaker 1 Yeah, Cairo Santos missed two extra points. I mean,

Speaker 1 he couldn't plant.

Speaker 3 Oh, I saw that.

Speaker 3 They got a penalty for drying off the field. They brought a little hand towel out to dry down the spot.

Speaker 1 It was crazy. And Eddie Jackson might be back.
So, yeah, everything. No complaints from me.
Happy, happy, happy. Trey Lance is definitely looking over his shoulder.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Oh, we forgot to mention it earlier when we were talking about the Dolphins game.
The row of cars that just burned down. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 As the game went on. So somebody left a hot grill on next to some cars, and then you come out and you see your car has just been lit on fire and it's completely burned out was a man cooking hot dogs

Speaker 13 someone had left a grill on yeah

Speaker 3 is it was was somebody cooking like a slab of ribs at a very high temperature like very very high temperature oh hmm imagine if frank started that old fire

Speaker 3 it's not

Speaker 3 it's not

Speaker 3 unfathomable it's not it's

Speaker 1 it wasn't frank

Speaker 1 But if it were, I wouldn't be able to do it. Oh my god.
No, no, it wasn't. We don't know.
I don't think he has a car down there.

Speaker 3 Yes, he does.

Speaker 13 With Doug's? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't think he has a grill down there.

Speaker 3 Well, I'm just saying it's a non-zero chance that Frank Fleming burned up an entire row of cars.

Speaker 1 If it came out that it was him, I was just like, whoa.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah, that makes sense.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 I don't think there's a jury in the world that wouldn't convict him either. No.

Speaker 1 I'm doing right.

Speaker 1 It was so great. God.

Speaker 3 What would Frank Fleming call himself if he watched, if he was like a fan of Frank Fleming and found out that he burned down a row row of cars

Speaker 1 what do you mean like oh what pun frank flaming yeah yeah yeah he'd be like he did it again frank flaming frank flaming yeah another another car burned down

Speaker 1 another another fire in the parking lot

Speaker 1 he did it again um

Speaker 15 all right uh saints falcons oh no let me do let me do a quick ad and then we'll do saints falcons the pro football football show is presented by the chevy silverado built for the hustle ready for the game chevy silverado is america's America's most dependable full-size truck.

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Speaker 1 Okay, Saints Falcons,

Speaker 1 Jameis, 16-point comeback in the fourth quarter. I fucking love him.
He said he has pain everywhere because he went in the tent at some point.

Speaker 1 He's the opposite of Jerry Jones.

Speaker 1 He's basically doing hockey injuries, pain everywhere.

Speaker 1 It was

Speaker 1 Jameis being back makes me so happy. And this was just the same old Falcons.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Jameis's quote after the game, they asked him, your heart rate come down yet? He goes, my heart rate was smooth the whole way.

Speaker 1 I love it. I believe it.

Speaker 3 He's got the guts of a cat burglar. Jameis Winston is

Speaker 3 a crab burglar. Jameis Winston is so fun.
And I think he's really like come out of his shell, too.

Speaker 3 That's another crab pun, but he's really come out of his shell a little bit the last, like, I don't know, six, eight months since he's been training this offseason.

Speaker 3 His podcast is legitimately hilarious. Yeah.
He is, if Jameis Winston, there are very few athletes that I would say could step behind a mic right now and immediately take us out.

Speaker 3 I think if Jameis Winston did like a full-time NFL podcast, we're fucked.

Speaker 1 I want him on the show.

Speaker 3 We might as well hang it up because

Speaker 3 he's laugh out loud, funny.

Speaker 3 And I'm talking like unintentionally and intentionally as well. He's got it both.
He's got it both. He's got everything going on.
Michael Thomas is back today, officially back.

Speaker 1 Crazy. He had a huge game.

Speaker 3 If you had asked me before the season, like, is Michael Thomas going to play a snap? I'd say probably not. And probably still figure out a way to get paid.
Yeah. He's still, he's happy.

Speaker 3 He's out there playing. Chris Olave made a couple nice catches.

Speaker 1 Jarvis Landry.

Speaker 3 Jarvis Landry, awesome player. Yeah.

Speaker 1 People forget. He made the 40-yard catch down the sideline.
Jameis got

Speaker 1 flagged for an intentional grounding that was, what was the exact penalty?

Speaker 1 Was it he, well I know exactly what he did it looked like a spike or something yeah so it was intentional grounding on a spike and do you know why that happened it actually is totally understandable why Jameis did that he thought Jarvis Landry had gone out or had been in bounds he had actually gone out of bounds I didn't realize if you spike on a dead clock that's intentional grounding okay I didn't know that was what happened okay so yeah so the clock wasn't moving he spiked it intentional grounding you learned something new every day yeah it was crazy so he that was a crazy pass.

Speaker 1 I don't know why the Saints, like the Saints, as soon as they started running tempo, they erased that lead. Like they were down 16 points in the, I think it was 16 in the fourth quarter, right?

Speaker 3 I think it was 17.

Speaker 1 Yeah, in the fourth quarter. Maybe 16.
And they went tempo, and Jameis started slinging it, and guys started making plays, and the Falcons are the Falcons. So this is now

Speaker 1 since 2020, there have been three times that the Falcons have blown a 15-plus point lead. In the entire rest of the NFL, there's only two other times that that's happened.
Yeah, I want to create

Speaker 3 some sort of computer betting program that whenever the win probability hits 90% for the Falcons, you take the live bet on the other side. Yeah.
And I'm sure that it would be enormously profitable.

Speaker 1 And I don't want to shit on the Falcons totally because

Speaker 1 I like Marcus Mariota. Well, I was going to say, Marcus Mariota, competent.

Speaker 1 Quadral Patterson, still awesome. Had like 130 yards both rushing and receiving.

Speaker 1 And our friend Arthur Smith actually said, well, actually, he gave us permission to bury them. So we could do that if we wanted to.
He said, you guys wrote our obituary back in May.

Speaker 1 You'll continue to write our obituary. Who cares? So if he doesn't care, they're dead.
They stink.

Speaker 3 They're not good.

Speaker 1 I'm just giving this for him so he can motivate himself.

Speaker 1 I'm rooting for Arthur Smith.

Speaker 3 We're just giving bulletin board material. Like, you really thought that Marcus Mariota as your starting quarterback was going to be the answer this year? Like, like, you're going to be a good team?

Speaker 1 Hey, Arthur, what point lead would you say is safe?

Speaker 3 Like, 24? Arthur, how many times can you force the ball to Kyle Pitts in a game and expect it to turn out well? Hey, Arthur, can you even name three players in your defense? Yeah. No.

Speaker 3 We're just saying this to get Arthur Smith motivated.

Speaker 1 Because you told us to write your obituary. Yeah.
Hey, Arthur,

Speaker 1 why don't you go to London right now and just lay down next to Lizzie because you're dead.

Speaker 3 Hey, Arthur, have you ever seen a more scared kicker than Young Wai Koo today?

Speaker 1 Oh, dude, we got to talk about Marcus Lattimore. Could have been the worst penalty of all time.

Speaker 1 For people who didn't watch the game, the game was over, and Marcus Lattimore just body slammed a Falcon player, and they just were like, oh, that's 15 yards.

Speaker 1 Now the Falcons are close enough to attempt a... It was like a 65-yard field goal.
But they were literally on...

Speaker 1 The game was over. They were on their own 40, and he just body slams a guy after the play.
And they're like, hey, 15 yards, Youngweight, go give it a shot.

Speaker 3 So what what are the rules on that? How long does the game have to be over for a body slam to not extend the play by one or the game by one untimed down?

Speaker 1 I think there might have been a second left, but even if even if not, I think it was at zero, but like the ball had just landed on the ground, right?

Speaker 3 And so, it's one of those gray areas where it's like it felt like it was part of the play, so we're going to throw a flag on the play.

Speaker 3 But if it's in like the handshake line right afterwards, you can't throw a flag on that and the team back out, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I get, I mean, I don't know

Speaker 1 if you have a catcher ball, you can do anything.

Speaker 3 That would have been one of the all-time Falconsings by the Saints.

Speaker 1 Right. Yeah, I was losing my mind.
It was like, I think they just blew the game. They falcons.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he just threw them there.

Speaker 1 So, yeah.

Speaker 1 The Saints. They're also, I like how the Saints, the Saints feel like they take rivalries, like they respect rivalries by disrespecting the other team.

Speaker 1 Like, there was a player on the Saints who had the Falcons flag.

Speaker 1 He brought it to his press conference. They were like clowning him after.

Speaker 1 I feel like the Saints always do this with the whether it be the Bucs, the Panthers, or like the Saints respect rivalries by being super disrespectful to their rivals

Speaker 1 and then therefore enhancing the rivalry.

Speaker 3 I think it's mostly against the Falcons too. Like those are two teams that actually hate each other.
And the fan bases legitimately hate each other.

Speaker 1 Correct.

Speaker 3 I like it though. It's to the point where there were some like

Speaker 3 Katrina charities that got set up back in like 2005 and even some Falcons fans are like, fuck this.

Speaker 1 As a Falcons fan, yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah, they'll take it so seriously where it's like, no, I'm not even going to get involved in that. Those are Saints fans.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right.

Speaker 3 You know, like, which is fucked up, but also part of what makes the rivalry better down the line. Like, I get it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and I like that the Saints, like, this is week one. Yeah.
We have so many games to go, and they're like, no, fuck this. We're going to run it up on them.
I mean, but the Falcons, goddammit.

Speaker 1 Again,

Speaker 1 in the last two seasons, there have been five total times that a team has blown a 15-point-plus lead. Three out of five of them have been the Falcons.

Speaker 1 It's on brand. It's so on brand.
And they're dead. Arthur Smith, you're dead.

Speaker 3 He's dead. And your name's Arthur, which is kind of a beta name anyway.

Speaker 3 But again, we're just doing this to give you that bulletin board.

Speaker 1 Correct. Correct.
You're dead. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Your owner definitely is thinking some thoughts right now.

Speaker 3 Just motivation.

Speaker 1 Arthur, because you're dead,

Speaker 1 I wouldn't do open casket with your chin or lack thereof.

Speaker 1 There you go. So that's it.
We buried it. Hank didn't like that.
No, those

Speaker 1 are like, you motherfucker. We don't make chin jokes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, we actually like Arthur Smith a lot, and we want the Falcons to do well, but you told us to bury you. So we had to bury you.

Speaker 3 If you asked Young Waku to light you on fire, he'd probably miss with a match.

Speaker 3 Maybe cremation is not in the cards either.

Speaker 1 All right. Browns Panthers, the Baker Revenge game.
Oh, no, sorry. Ravens Jets, the game that we didn't see any highlights from.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I was kind of disappointed with this one because I was hoping for a couple good Flacco highlights. All we got was

Speaker 3 a pick, which the tight end ran the wrong route

Speaker 3 on the pick. I went back, I watched the tape.
It was, they ran the stick instead of the out, and Joe Flacco put the ball where it should have been. Let me ask you.

Speaker 3 And we talked about what a veteran ball he throws, right? That's what they were saying about Joe Flacco. Veteran ball.
Turns out that translates to the defense, too.

Speaker 3 You can't catch it very easily.

Speaker 1 Let me ask you a question. He does throw a veteran ball.

Speaker 1 If you were the Jets going into this game, how many veteran balls would you want Flacco to throw to win the game? I would want like attempted veteran balls. Attempted veteran balls.

Speaker 1 I would want him to throw

Speaker 1 28 veteran balls. Oh, you were close.
He attempted 59 veteran balls. That's a lot of veteran balls.
59 veteran balls. Yeah, a couple of those balls are going to end up in veteran hands.

Speaker 3 I was looking through the box.

Speaker 1 I was like, he threw 59 passes. Like, that couldn't have been part of the gameplay.

Speaker 3 He's got to be so sore right now.

Speaker 1 So sore.

Speaker 3 How old is he? Like, 40?

Speaker 1 That's so many pass attempts for Joe Flacco and his age.

Speaker 3 I feel bad for Joe Flacco.

Speaker 1 He actually ended up having 300 yards. He had 307 yards.
He went 37 for 59.

Speaker 1 That's insane.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I mean, that's the lead right there. Joe Flacco completes 37 veteran balls.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 On 59 veteran pass attempts. Billy.
So we didn't. this game literally was like never on red zone because Lamar was just throwing deep bombs.

Speaker 1 Like Lamar, the surprising part of this game was the Ravens weren't able to run the ball and Lamar had to do it with his arm and he did it. But you watched the entire game.
So tell us.

Speaker 13 It was kind of like the first game last season. The defense kind of looked good.
It's just the offense couldn't get anything going and it just kind of stacked up.

Speaker 7 Were they hitting?

Speaker 13 They were hitting. I mean, gangrene tackles.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 13 They always bring the heat, but they underutilized Braxton Berrios. There wasn't much screen game.

Speaker 13 I kind of want, they were going downfield with it, but I think there was a lot more they could do to utilize their weapons. And Flacco did what he could, but just could never get it together.

Speaker 1 Okay, so, and now here, that was actually a very good recap from the Jets side. Here is Billy's real recap.
As I walked by him around like five o'clock, I was like, ooh, the Jets stink again.

Speaker 1 And he just goes, I think we're going to beat Hank and the Patriots. So that's where he's at.

Speaker 1 We could just beat the Patriots. Yeah, no, that was where he's already at that point where it's like, we just got to win one of these two games.

Speaker 1 Like I said, you're going to the playoffs week one last year. Yeah.
Hey, you know what?

Speaker 1 You can dream. So

Speaker 3 you have to dream. How many more games of Flacco do you get?

Speaker 1 If they beat the Patriots, can I shoot you in the leg?

Speaker 1 If the Jets win the Super Bowl you say, if the Jets are strongly acknowledged that you accept this.

Speaker 1 How about the Jets beat the Patriots, if the Jets sweep the Patriots this year, you could shoot them with like a BB gun.

Speaker 3 Okay, I'll do BB gun.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's fair. In the ass.
Yeah. So they got to sweep them.
Sweep. Yep.
Yep.

Speaker 1 But if the

Speaker 1 no.

Speaker 3 A red rider.

Speaker 1 That's a reverse.

Speaker 1 It should be the other way around.

Speaker 3 No, Billy's saying

Speaker 1 he'll take the pain. No, I know.
Billy's saying, well, you guys sweep the Patriots. You should shoot Henry.
You should get to shoot Henry.

Speaker 3 We'll do a Daisy Red Rider. But Billy's doing, like, this is his offer to the guys.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right.

Speaker 3 If you favor

Speaker 3 two wins, then I will take a shot.

Speaker 1 I mean, sweeping the Jets, like that's expected.

Speaker 1 There is no offer. I don't need to talk to God about that.

Speaker 3 You should get to shoot Billy in the ass either way. Did you just sweep either way?

Speaker 1 Do you think you'll beat the Jets both times? Yes. All right, so Billy's expectations have raised a little, and yours have not changed.

Speaker 1 Like, you haven't lowered yourself to Billy yet. Yeah, I mean, the Jets.

Speaker 13 Well, the thing is, Flacco in the driver's seat now, I think they are going to improve in that.

Speaker 1 The offensive flow. Yeah.
Yeah. Like.
A lot of reps.

Speaker 3 When you just say like Flacco in the driver's seat, it does sound like he's got it all under control.

Speaker 1 It is a minivan, right? Yeah, it's a minivan. He has like seven kids in the back.

Speaker 13 Did you see that clip of him talking about how he was a kid?

Speaker 1 Flacco doesn't even want to be playing. No, he does not.
He's like, I signed up to be a back door.

Speaker 1 Did he change his number to 19? He doesn't want to play.

Speaker 13 Yeah, no, there's a clip of him talking about how his kids 19.

Speaker 1 He's been number five his entire career.

Speaker 3 When you end up taking a secondary number that's over 10 digits away from your primary number that you've been your entire career that's just like i'm here to get paid it's a cry for help it's like the it's like the what would you tweet if you were kidnapped joe flacco what would you what would you your number be if you were kidnapped 19.

Speaker 1 yeah no he would someone save me he doesn't want to be out there playing no he wants to be a backup and not have to do anything yeah which i respect he didn't look awful awful today though 59 cents he looked he looked okay

Speaker 1 he looked about what you'd expect for joe flacco yeah here's a fun fact um which i I didn't realize.

Speaker 1 Do you remember? The Ravens lost their last six games last year.

Speaker 3 I forgot about that because

Speaker 3 they won all their preseason games.

Speaker 1 Right. And so this was technically they broke their second longest losing streak as a franchise.

Speaker 3 Lamar had

Speaker 3 an ankle issue.

Speaker 1 He was Huntley, yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah, at the end of last year, and also butt issues that lingered for a while, so his butt looked good today.

Speaker 1 But that's a testament to the Ravens that they lost their last six games, obviously, because Lamar was out, but I still think they're a very good team.

Speaker 1 And I was Lamar being able to, like, when Lamar can win from the pocket throwing deep, that's scary. He had some dimes.
Yeah, that's very scary.

Speaker 3 I mean, Lamar is basically playing for ginormous amounts of money right now. Like, every single game.
Imagine if he gets fucking franchise tagged.

Speaker 1 That's what they said they'd do.

Speaker 3 He probably will get franchise tagged, and then he might end up in a position where he gets franchise tagged a second time. And then I think I was reading that that would be so disrespectful.

Speaker 3 If they do to him, that's what they did to Kirk Cousins.

Speaker 1 But that's Lamar's model.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Lamar's better than Kirk Cousins. Yeah, but Kirk Cousins gets MVP.

Speaker 3 Kirk Cousins gets paid like Lamar Jackson should be paid right now. Correct.
It wouldn't be... Like, there is a world where Lamar Jackson does get two consecutive franchise tags.

Speaker 3 And then I was reading, I think Florio was talking about how there's a possibility that they could tag him in a different way a third time, but that year would be like... $55 million guaranteed

Speaker 3 for one year. That would be an awesome, awesome paycheck to get.

Speaker 1 But that would be, there's very, it's rare that I would say, like, it's obviously just a business and this is how all NFL contracts work.

Speaker 1 But if they franchise Lamar Jackson, I'd be like, that is a slap in your face.

Speaker 3 Do you think that in the post-game handshake, Lamar was like, hey, Joe, you're a real motherfucker because you stole all that money from the Baltimore Ravens on your guaranteed money? Yeah.

Speaker 3 And now they are afraid to pay me that because they don't want a repeat of what happened.

Speaker 1 They're deathly afraid. They basically told me that I have to win a Super Bowl if I want to get paid.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 And even still,

Speaker 3 look at what happened last time.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. But yeah, I thought, you know, I watched a couple highlights afterwards because it was crazy.
This, do you remember like more than four plays from this game? No.

Speaker 1 It was, they never showed up.

Speaker 3 Lamar had a sick drop in the bucket pass.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, he had a couple of, I watched a couple of the highlights and I was like, damn, Lamar was kind of slinging it.

Speaker 3 It was not on the red zone channels.

Speaker 1 No, no, it was just never on the red zone channel.

Speaker 3 Fireman Ed fell down.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was bad. Fireman Ed.
Once you,

Speaker 1 if you're an adult and it makes news that you fell down,

Speaker 7 you're about to die.

Speaker 3 You shouldn't be walking anymore.

Speaker 1 No, that's like, because that really is just, they're implying like he fell down, but he's okay. He didn't break his hip this time.
Yeah. But it's coming.

Speaker 3 He fell down. He's all right.
He's expected to fully recover.

Speaker 1 Right. Like a fall down.
Yeah. I fall down all the time.
No, it's not news.

Speaker 3 Yeah. So, but he's fine, right? He continued on.
Yeah. Why did the Jets just straight up accept Fireman Ed's return to the franchise? It's the weirdest thing.

Speaker 3 If you hang up your whatever it was that he had as a fan, his hat.

Speaker 1 No, Fireman hat. He said people were being mean.
No, there's fans trying to assault him.

Speaker 13 It's kind of fair.

Speaker 1 When really they just had to wait it out because he'd assault himself by falling down. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I feel like Fireman Ed. I don't want to victim blame, but I'm pretty sure that he picked his fair share of fights, too.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. For sure.

Speaker 1 I just don't know.

Speaker 3 I don't understand how a super fan... It takes a lot for me for a super fan to renounce their fandom and then to come back in a couple years.

Speaker 1 Well, Detroit Don and Superfam kind of did that. Yeah, but if you're a Lions fan, that's different.
Yeah, but they didn't fully do it, but they were very disgusted.

Speaker 1 I think what you're trying to do right now is an impossible task. You're trying to get in the mind of a Superfan.

Speaker 1 They are just a special creature that should be left alone and looked at and, you know, kind of applauded in our society.

Speaker 3 Oh, I agree. I'm wondering, as the rest of the fan base goes, do you accept Fireman Ed's return?

Speaker 1 I think every fan base has a Superfan that you're just like, that's that's our crazy uncle.

Speaker 1 Like, he's always part of it. Yeah, he's always part of the family.
He's going to do weird shit. Remember X Factor? He's going to get arrested.

Speaker 3 X Factor is definitely a person.

Speaker 1 I'm checking him out. No, someone showed me he was doing a podcast.
Yeah, from jail.

Speaker 3 It starts out like cereal. Yeah.
You accept the select ball. Okay, so he's retired.

Speaker 1 X Factor? Yeah, because he's right. He'll be back.

Speaker 13 The quote was, I was becoming a monster.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Right.
No, he'll be back. He wants that monster.
He's going to be like, I missed the monster. But that's what super fans do.

Speaker 1 they, whatever a super fan does, retire, change their look, anything like that, you're just going to be like, yeah,

Speaker 1 they're super fans.

Speaker 3 I love super fans. I love all of them.
I'm just curious, as a fellow fan of that team, if you're a Jets fan and Ed comes crawling back. It's crazy.
Like, what do you do?

Speaker 3 Does everybody just let him back in? Okay, you're welcome here. Yeah.
Once a Jets fan, always a Jets fan.

Speaker 1 He does the JETS, and then it's all good. Yeah.
It's all back together.

Speaker 1 Okay. So, Jets over-under wins, Billy.

Speaker 13 I'm still going with 6.5. I think they can pull it out.

Speaker 1 Okay, so they're going to...

Speaker 3 You're saying what? Over or under 6.5?

Speaker 1 Over. Over.
Okay.

Speaker 3 Okay. Okay.
Because you just said 6.5 wins. So tie.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Got it. Six wins and a tie.
I'll count that.

Speaker 1 A push against the other team, which is 6, 10, and 1. Okay.

Speaker 1 Browns Panthers, the Baker revenge game. That actually ended up being a fun game.
It looked... Baker, we talked about Carson Wentz trying too hard.

Speaker 1 Baker was trying way too hard at the beginning of the game.

Speaker 8 He's like, I'm going to score.

Speaker 1 I'm going to get a 50-point touchdown on the first play. And he sucked to start the game.

Speaker 3 I was thinking that Baker was trying so hard because he was just looking forward to the opportunity to talk shit after the game. Correct.

Speaker 3 Like, he wants to get to a point where he's able to talk that shit after the game. And then after the game, they asked him about it, and he said, he's just going to flush it.
That's his strategy.

Speaker 3 We're just going to flush it and move forward. He's going to turn the page on it.
I don't know why everybody made it such a big deal of a game. That's what he said.

Speaker 3 But since the press and media did their thing, he's just going to ignore that and move on because Baker Mayfield definitely was not the one that made it a thing. Correct.

Speaker 3 And definitely, had he won, would have said this exact same thing about just moving on from it.

Speaker 1 He also said

Speaker 1 it's 16 more games and the Super Bowl is in February. So he knows the schedule.
Yep. So that's good.
He knows when the Super Bowl is being played. He probably has plans.

Speaker 3 Yes. He probably has sick parties.

Speaker 1 He's probably going to Mexico.

Speaker 1 The Browns, though, first time they win week one since 2004. Incredible.
Congrats to the Browns.

Speaker 1 I was thinking about it, like what was happening in 2004. PFT and I were sophomores in college.
Billy was five years old. The crazy one, you want the wild one, Jake?

Speaker 1 Calvin Johnson was starting his freshman year at Georgia Tech, and he's in the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

Speaker 1 That's how long it's been since the Browns have won week one of the NFL Center.

Speaker 3 Larry Fitzgerald was still.

Speaker 1 He's not retired.

Speaker 3 He was in college. Is he retired? He's going to be a senator.
He's never retired. He's just waiting for some senator to die so he can run in a special election right now.

Speaker 1 Can you look him up? Did he retire officially?

Speaker 3 No, no, he's not officially retired.

Speaker 1 He hasn't officially retired? No,

Speaker 3 he's said that he's done playing football, but he has not filed the paperwork.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.
So, and then the Browns, I mean, the Browns look exactly like the best version of the Browns minus obviously the quarterback.

Speaker 1 I mean, Jacoby Brissette is a nice placeholder, but they just ran the fuck out of the football.

Speaker 3 Jacoby Brissette is the guy that knows exactly what to do at any given time. Now, he's not physically able to do the right thing, but he knows what should be done.

Speaker 3 Like, I bet he'd be an awesome Madden player.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he'd be a great coach.

Speaker 3 He's great decision-making, great coach, but then he's just not physically able to make really nice throws. Yeah, like he's he's got a crisp handoff.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. He gets in the huddle with like three minutes left if they're down seven, and he's like, all right, guys, so I know we got to run tempo and score a touchdown.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to be able to do that, but I do know that you should do that.

Speaker 1 And he knows that. He knows the passes that should be made.
He can't probably do all of them, but he knows.

Speaker 3 He won't ever like seal a game with a touchdown, but he'll tick enough time off the clock and get them to a place and field position to pin them relatively deep on a punt and then let their defense go out there and win the game.

Speaker 3 Right, exactly. That's what you get with Jacoby Brisson.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 So the Browns, yeah, I mean, that was, congrats to the Browns. Let's clap it up for the Browns.
2004 is a long-ass time of job, Browns Browns fans. That's a long ass time ago.

Speaker 3 The only other note that I had in this game was Matt Ruhl always kind of looks like he's staring at the sun. Yeah.

Speaker 3 He's just always got this squint on his face and he kind of curls up his mouth and looks confused.

Speaker 1 I think Matt Ruhl would be a great selection to go to Nebraska. Nebraska.
So Matt Ruhl was very upset and he actually kind of had a fair argument.

Speaker 1 I learned a lot about fake spikes today with, or spikes today, with Jameis spiking and getting intentional grounding.

Speaker 1 Jacoby Brissette actually had the flag thrown on him at the end of the game for his

Speaker 1 spike

Speaker 1 because he did kind of fake it. If you fake it, you can't then spike it.
That's intentional grounding.

Speaker 3 If you fake the spike, you can't re-spike.

Speaker 1 If you take a step back and look downfield and then try to spike it, that's intentional grounding. So they threw the flag.
The refs convened. They picked up the flag.
Matt Ruhl lost his shit.

Speaker 1 I think he has a fair argument, but if you're the Panthers, don't you want the Panthers? If you're the Panthers fans, don't you want the Panthers to lose so Matt Rule gets fired?

Speaker 3 Yes. Right.

Speaker 1 So I think that's kind of a win-win.

Speaker 3 Was it Jacoby Brissette that had a doink today with a pass? Yes. That was awesome.
Yes.

Speaker 1 That's the best spike of all.

Speaker 3 That was awesome. It was like 10 yards out, and he threw it maybe halfway up the upright and bounced it off.
That should be a live ball. Yes.

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 3 there's arguments to be made on both sides whether or not it should be a live ball on a field goal attempt. I think on a pass attempt, if it hits the upright, that's a fumble.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 And it can be advanced by either team. Yeah.
Like imagine the chaos that would ensue from that.

Speaker 3 Like a quarterback trying to spike it off the crossbar and then just everybody on the team diving on it in the end zone. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean it would be it would be great. And Cade York, that was a sick kick.
Rookie, LSU, 58-yarder to win the game. I'm happy.

Speaker 1 There's times when I'm worried because it feels like with Evan McPherson, Cade York, Koo is actually a very good kicker.

Speaker 1 There's times when I get worried that we have too many good kickers, but then we had so many missed field goals and extra points. It's like, no, we're good.
Because that would suck.

Speaker 1 If everyone was Justin Tucker, the NFL would be boring.

Speaker 3 It'd be very, very boring. Yeah, we need missed kicks.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 If you're a Browns fan, I think you're happy with the way that things have turned out so far that Baker is no longer on your team. You probably wish that things had

Speaker 3 signed a non-sexual predator to the contract that you signed him to. Correct.

Speaker 3 But I think Baker can always be accepted by Browns fans as being a guy that helped change the Browns into a team that would miss that field goal at the end of this game and figure out a way to lose it.

Speaker 3 The culture did change when Baker was there. Without a doubt.
And he had a big part in it. So I don't think that they'll ever really truly hate Baker Mayfield after.
They'll just be like, he was good.

Speaker 3 He was an important part.

Speaker 3 Like the Baker years were a turning point, I think, for the Browns as a franchise and to being a team that lost, you know, 14 games a season to a team that will probably be hovering around 500 for the next 10 years.

Speaker 1 To a team that has a roster good enough that they're going to take a risk on signing a sexual predator. Correct.

Speaker 1 He was the bridge.

Speaker 3 He got you to the point where you're in fucking risk-it-all mode.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right, exactly. He bridged you to that point.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I agree.

Speaker 1 Baker clearly, I mean, he listens to everything. He comments on a lot of things.
I do think he got a raw deal.

Speaker 1 He was hurt last year.

Speaker 1 He didn't do anything wrong. He He tried his hardest for the Browns.
He was hurt. He took him to the playoffs the first time in forever.
Like, if anyone should feel shitty about it, it's Baker.

Speaker 1 Like, he's like, what the fuck? I was the franchise quarterback, and then I wasn't. And then you signed a sexual predator.

Speaker 3 He beat your biggest rival in the playoffs. That counts for something.

Speaker 1 But that's just also how the NFL works. They wanted to move on.

Speaker 3 But I mean, it's also kind of shocking that the Browns made probably a smart business decision. Correct.
Maybe that's the most crazy part of this whole thing. Correct.

Speaker 3 It's like, wait, you're the Browns. You should be happy to just have a guy that's gotten you to a point where you're good enough to win a playoff game.

Speaker 1 They should give you

Speaker 3 a way too big contract extension and cripple the franchise for the next decade. Instead, they made probably a good football decision and moved on.
That's very confusing for all of us to process.

Speaker 1 Yes. Browns, Jets, next week.
Whose line is the nine-way?

Speaker 3 Where is it?

Speaker 1 It's in Cleveland, I believe.

Speaker 3 I'm going to say Browns. By seven.

Speaker 3 It isn't. Or a half.
Six and a half.

Speaker 1 Browns, six and a half. There you go, Billy.

Speaker 7 One more thing on this game. To your point earlier, I think as it stands right now,

Speaker 1 this

Speaker 7 for some of AFC North kickers could be the greatest division of kickers ever. McPherson was unbelievable last year.
Tucker, Boswell, Tucker, Boswell, and Cade York.

Speaker 1 Good point. This could be every division of kickers.
Yeah. Okay.
Let's rank the quarterbacks.

Speaker 3 Good point.

Speaker 3 We should do a new ranking of the quarterbacks in the AFC North.

Speaker 3 I'm going to go Kenny Pickett first. Okay.

Speaker 3 And then I'm going to go Lamar second. Okay.
And then I'm going to go Huntley third.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Burrow?

Speaker 3 Oh, shit. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That was way too low. That was definitely an oh shit.
Oh, shit. I forgot about Burrow.
Okay.

Speaker 3 Burrow one, Pickett two.

Speaker 3 Shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're fucked.

Speaker 3 I don't want to do this anymore.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go go do it later.

Speaker 3 Let's find a new.

Speaker 1 All right, let's go to, we'll speed through a couple of these games. I mean, the Colts, Texans, tie.
I'm just saying it right now. The Texans won.

Speaker 1 That was a win for the Texans and a loss for the Colts.

Speaker 3 Well, it's good for the Texans that they were able to be good enough to build up a 17-point lead. Correct.
That counts for something.

Speaker 1 And then hold a tie

Speaker 1 for a while.

Speaker 3 Well, they punted to win with the tie.

Speaker 1 Right. And the AFC South went winless today, and two teams played each other.

Speaker 1 That's incredible. Texans are in first place in half a game.

Speaker 3 I think the Texans had an opportunity to, it was like fourth and one or fourth and two, and they could have gone for it and

Speaker 3 maybe potentially ended up in field goal position. But Lovey was like, listen, we're not going to win this game.
Let's punt it and then pray that our defense

Speaker 3 and get the tie. So a tie, yes, it looks pretty good.

Speaker 1 It's a win for the Texans.

Speaker 3 It looks pretty good. The Colts, unfortunately, Billy, I don't think they even activated your guy.

Speaker 1 Sam Ellinger. Sam Ellinger.

Speaker 1 He's going to come out. Okay, okay.
Yeah, because Matt Ryan, I mean, it was a bad start, but then he kind of figured it out. Comeback was nice.
Mills Mafia looked great. O.J.

Speaker 1 Howard on the Texans scored two touchdowns. Yep.
Two catches, two touchdowns. That's efficiency, baby.
But yeah, this game was like, okay, these guys deserve to tie. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It had tie energy from the fourth quarter on. There were a few games that had that.

Speaker 3 I was hoping for multiple ties today, but Texans, Colts, just, something weird always happens when these teams play.

Speaker 3 Well, Well, you can go back to even when Peyton Manning was playing on the Colts and like Sage Rosenfelds would get out to like hot starts against him.

Speaker 3 It's a storied rivalry between two very confusing franchises.

Speaker 1 Yes. And

Speaker 1 it was, yeah, you're absolutely right. And it was also like the Texans, it just felt like something weird was going to happen because the Browns, we just mentioned 2004, next up, Colts.

Speaker 1 Colts have not won in nine straight week ones. Remember that for next year, Jake.
Colts have not won in nine straight week ones.

Speaker 1 That feels significant. Yeah, that's a long time now.

Speaker 13 What are you going to say about that? Payton hasn't.

Speaker 13 Does that include any Peyton years?

Speaker 3 Nine? Yeah,

Speaker 1 14, 13, maybe? No, I don't think it does. Wow, that's good.
No, I think that's.

Speaker 1 The full Andrew Luck career, though, who was on the sideline for Stanford USC. That was nice to see him.
That's true with his family.

Speaker 3 He looked happy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he did look happy. He looks goofy.
He looks very

Speaker 1 good. He had a goofy hat on.
I like that. He had a hat that was like a

Speaker 1 Brooklyn Dodgers hat from like 1940s.

Speaker 3 I think Andrew Luck was just born to be a goofy dad. Yeah, and he's going to crush it at that.

Speaker 1 Girl dad. Two girl dad.

Speaker 1 Two girls. Yeah, he mentioned that.
Okay, yeah, so Colts, Texans, tied.

Speaker 3 Drew Brees could never. Nope.
He would just completely ignore him.

Speaker 1 Put him in a river.

Speaker 1 Just wash him down.

Speaker 3 Give me a man next time.

Speaker 1 Oh, Drew Brees, what a dick, by the way. We're going to get to talk about college football.
That Instagram where he was like, yeah,

Speaker 1 he separated his shoulder. Just get back in there.
Shoot it up. Yeah.
and maybe that's why the roster of the Saints was held back for four years.

Speaker 3 Well, also, I mean, the nice thing Drew Brees could give direct advice on is like, if you treat it this way, you'll never go to the Miami Dolphins.

Speaker 1 Right, right, exactly, exactly. All right, Giants, Titans were in the afternoon games.

Speaker 1 Dable.

Speaker 1 Dable dancing with the team. Dable putting his nuts on the line and going for two.
I fucking loved it. And I'm starting to believe, I mean, Saquon said this is going to be his revenge tour.

Speaker 1 He was awesome today. He was incredible.
He was in everything. He was catching passes, running routes, running huge home runs, Saquon runs.

Speaker 1 Yeah. The Giants.

Speaker 3 He looked fresh. Yeah.
He looked real fresh. And I think a new, like a rookie head coach,

Speaker 3 if you have a roster where you're not expected to win now, you can do stuff like this. And honestly, if he had not gone for two, that would have been a big red flag.
Correct.

Speaker 3 You know that you're not going to win a Super Bowl this year.

Speaker 3 Like, put your nuts on the line, get a reputation as somebody who believes in your team, then they'll start to fight for you and things will turn around quicker.

Speaker 1 Become the culture.

Speaker 3 Become the culture. Brian Dayballs.
That's who

Speaker 3 he brought the nuts out. He kind of looks like a testicle.

Speaker 1 He's a big bowling ball. Yeah, that's what I think with Jules.

Speaker 3 He's like a nut, like an actual testes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but he is the culture. Him dancing in the locker room.
He is the culture.

Speaker 3 They seem to like him.

Speaker 1 And Daniel Jones is just like... Daniel Jones will beat you if you just give him endless chances.
All right. That's really all it comes down to.

Speaker 3 There was one moment in this game when we saw Daniel Jones throw the interception to the corner of the end zone where I turned to Tommy Smokes, who's next to us.

Speaker 3 He's a Giants fan, and I said, you know, at least like Daniel Jones is making this decision for you. Right.
Because a throw like that, you see it and you're like, okay, he's definitely not the guy.

Speaker 3 He does some nice things occasionally, but you know that if you make a throw like that and get picked off, in the red zone, you're just not the guy. You're not the guy to bet on for the long term.

Speaker 3 And then that motherfucker comes back and helps you win the game. That's what I'm saying.
And then you're like, wow, this is the ultimate Daniel Jones experience where he might be the guy.

Speaker 3 Now I'm thinking, like, Daniel Jones, in the right circumstances, he might be a nice guy.

Speaker 1 But that's what I'm saying. Like, if you give him, they just kept on giving him chances, and eventually Daniel Jones will win a game.
Yeah, you just give him like 17 chances to win the game.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because that pick felt like it was the game over, and the Titans.

Speaker 1 Turns out they might miss AJ Brown a little bit.

Speaker 3 A lot.

Speaker 1 Their defense still looks good

Speaker 1 without Landry, but yeah, they might miss A.J.

Speaker 3 Brown. Fat Randy got iced.
You can ice fat, it turns out. Fat Randy.

Speaker 3 It's great to see. So Aaron Schatz from Football Outsiders, he pointed this out at the end of the game.

Speaker 3 They did the thing where they take the knee to give the kicker like a better angle at it. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 if they hadn't taken those two and a half yards out, Fat Randy's kick probably would have gone in.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was a very weird thing that Tannehill was like, dude, are you going to take the knee? Are you going to take the knee? And he just kept on kind of going backwards.

Speaker 1 It was like, usually, when you take a knee, you lose a yard.

Speaker 3 He lost like four. It was a bad knee.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Very, very bad knee.

Speaker 3 And they also had to burn a timeout at the end of the game, too, because it looked like they were going to get a delay of game. Right.
So Vrabel had to burn one there.

Speaker 3 You think Vrabel respects Dable?

Speaker 3 Or do you think he hates him?

Speaker 3 Because they had a physical handshake.

Speaker 1 I think it was respecting guys. I think it was respecting.

Speaker 3 I think it was just like, they're just physical guys.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And just like, you know, he probably, that's how Vrabel shows his love, is just getting even more physical.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's like almost fighting you.

Speaker 1 Right. Yeah.
That's the true test.

Speaker 3 Actually, yes. Like, when we've met Vrabel in the past, he just slapped the fuck out of me in the back of my.

Speaker 1 He just slapped me in the back and I like coughed up a lung.

Speaker 3 I thought he was going to break my hand.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. We got three more games.
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Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 three games left.

Speaker 1 The TV went out. We're also out of practice.
Usually when we get mid-season, we start taping a little bit earlier.

Speaker 3 It's 1.30 right now. It's 1.30.

Speaker 1 We're not going to be this late every week, I hope.

Speaker 1 We're just out of practice. We'll see.
We enjoyed the hell out of the terrible Sunday night football game.

Speaker 3 I'm okay with being this late, though. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It feels good. Yeah.
Nope. Howling at the moon.
I'm looking at the guys who still have to do like another two and a half hours after, and maybe not.

Speaker 1 Either way, we've got three games left. Chiefs, Cardinals.
Chiefs, 44. Cardinals, 21.
Turns out Patrick Mahomes is still really fucking awesome.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I think we talked to Jules about that. It's like, wait, we we haven't really said his name at all, and he's probably the best quarterback physically in the history of the NFL.

Speaker 1 Well, he's now, I have a stat to kind of back up how insane Patrick Mahomes is. There's six players in NFL history with at least six, five touchdown games.

Speaker 1 Breeze, Brady, Manning, Rothelsberger, Marino, those are the other five. All of them took at least 240 games to do it.
Patrick Mahomes did it today. It was his 64th game played.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, He's in fucking sane. He's a freak.

Speaker 3 And I think week one Patrick Mahomes is even better than average Patrick Mahomes.

Speaker 1 And on top of that, the quote-unquote Patrick Mahomes killer last year, the two-high safety shell, every team was like, this is how we stop him. He had 110 passer rating against it today.

Speaker 3 Well, they also blitzed him, which is a terrible idea.

Speaker 1 But it's just like...

Speaker 3 I don't think Cliff Kingsbury actually sat down and looked at a game plan for

Speaker 1 it because

Speaker 3 it doesn't make any sense what they tried to do to stop him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's why they're in the Pinkie Bowl next Sunday. But Patrick Mahomes, all offseason, oh, Tyreek Hill's gone.
He's going to have to do things differently.

Speaker 1 Turns out he can do everything and do it at such an insane level that he's still Patrick Mahomes. And we should all just, like, I walked away.

Speaker 1 Big takeaways from this week was one of them was, oh, yeah, Patrick Mahomes is the best quarterback in the NFL.

Speaker 3 Yes, obviously.

Speaker 3 I think, like, we forget about him a lot because we talk about Josh Allen, but Patrick Mahomes is like, if anybody goes, if there's one quarterback that's going to go out and throw for like 500 yards on a given week, it's probably going to be Mahomes.

Speaker 1 If you had to bet your life, yes, he's the guy. Give me one guy who can throw five touchdowns.

Speaker 3 He's the guy. He's the guy you would put it on.
And I think it's kind of bullshit that Pacheco is wearing number 10, and he kind of looks like Tyreek Hill.

Speaker 3 That's very confusing to me, although I understand it does make him look a lot faster because he is wearing Tyreek Hill's number. I feel like he absorbs some of that from Tyreek.

Speaker 3 But it's also, it's weird watching that because I'm like, wait, you're you're on the Dolphins now.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And

Speaker 1 I was, oh, the last thing with the five touchdown pass

Speaker 1 games, it reminded me that Phil Rivers never had one, which always bums me out.

Speaker 3 That sucks.

Speaker 1 It's crazy.

Speaker 3 All right, so Mahomes says that he's 5-0 in season, or Mahomes is 5-0 in season openers. He's thrown 18 touchdowns and no interceptions.

Speaker 1 That's crazy. He's so fucking good.
And

Speaker 1 I don't want to shit on the Cardinals, but I'm not going to take them seriously until DeAndre Hopkins is back. Yeah.
I'm just not. Their offense didn't look good today.

Speaker 3 There's nothing exciting about the Cardinals.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they bet the pinky on them. You know what they don't do? They don't do the small things well.
Like, they don't. It feels like the Cardinals are always in third and long.

Speaker 1 And they need Kyler Murray to be a hero, and a lot of times he is a hero, and he's an incredible quarterback. But

Speaker 1 I feel like I never watch a Cardinals game, and they're like in second and three, and then, or, you know, like third and one. They just, it always feels like

Speaker 1 we got to hit a home run, play, home run, play, home run, play. The only

Speaker 3 thing the only consistent thing about the Cardinals is James Conner is going to score a touchdown. Yep.
That's what you can set your watch to. And also,

Speaker 3 we have a full season of getting to know Dortch. Dortch.
Your wide receiver Dortch. Dortch.
Great from Wake Forest, I believe. Dortch.

Speaker 4 Dortch. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Mahomes. Fucking, goddamn, he's so good.
30 for 39, 360 yards, five touchdowns. Yeah, pretty rare interceptions.
Also, one fun fact from this game. I was looking at the box score.

Speaker 1 There were eight fumbles in this game, and only one was lost.

Speaker 3 That's crazy. I think Juju had a couple of them today.

Speaker 1 Eight fumbles, and only one was lost. That's really hard to do.

Speaker 1 It's, I mean, that's crazy. So, I asked our guy, Stad Hole Sports, he said he went back and looked.
In 1999, the Broncos played the Jaguars. There were eight fumbles and zero turnovers.

Speaker 1 So, that was the only other time. I was like, find me the most fumbles with the least amount of loss.

Speaker 1 Eight fumbles, one recovered by the other team.

Speaker 3 That's pretty crazy.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Another contender in terms of the division with the best kickers in the NFL would be the AFC West, because not only do they have Bucker on the Chiefs, who

Speaker 1 big balls, huge balls, injured.

Speaker 3 He had a 54-yarder on a two-step approach

Speaker 3 and then proceeded to injure himself more on that kick.

Speaker 3 But they also have Justin Reed, their safety, who is probably good enough to be a starting kicker on a lot of teams in the NFL. This dude is kicking balls out of the back of the end zone on kickoffs.

Speaker 3 He's a safety. And he's nailing field goals and extra points, hitting it above the kicking net.
Like, the guy is legitimately an NFL caliber place kicker, but he's also a safety.

Speaker 3 He might be the best athlete in the NFL. Yeah, save a roster spot.
That's crazy.

Speaker 1 Have him do both.

Speaker 3 I mean, on a kickoff, it actually makes a ton of sense.

Speaker 3 If you can have a guy that is good enough to be like, I don't know, 85% even as good of a kickoff kicker as your normal kicker is, but he's also a great tackler. Yeah.
Like, that makes so much.

Speaker 1 That's the first guy on the field. Yeah.

Speaker 3 That is a huge advantage. That's a cheat code.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Damn, Andy Reid's done it again.
But yeah, Patrick Mahomes, still incredible.

Speaker 1 All right, Chargers, Raiders, Chargers, 24, Raiders, 19. This was my other big takeaway.

Speaker 1 I'm officially now here, ready to say I'm taking the Chargers very much for real as a team that can win the Super Bowl. They looked awesome.
Their defense looked awesome. Khalil Mack and Joey and

Speaker 1 Joey? No, Nick. Nick Bosa? No, Joey.

Speaker 1 Nick.

Speaker 3 Nick Bosa. Nick.

Speaker 1 Nick. Joey.
No, just Nick. Joey's on the charger.
Joey, Joey. It's Nick.
Joey.

Speaker 1 Tom Kennedy?

Speaker 1 Timmy. Timmy Kennedy.

Speaker 1 Khalil Mack and Joey Bosa had four and a half sacks and forced two turnovers and had 16 pressures.

Speaker 1 And Justin Herbert looked incredible, incredible, as always, throwing just fucking cannon shots everywhere. Keenan Allen, I think, got hurt halfway through the game, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's what Keenan Allen does.

Speaker 1 I watched Brandon Staley's speech after the game in the locker room, and I was ready to run through a brick wall.

Speaker 1 And I was resistant because the media loves them, and they haven't done anything, but I'm ready. I'm here now, ready to apologize and say I'm taking the Chargers very much for real.

Speaker 3 I mean, they're a very talented team, and they have been for a while.

Speaker 1 The Chargers do weird stuff.

Speaker 3 They do weird stuff to win games in unusual fashions. And I hope that changes this year.
But I've seen a lot of Chargers games in the past.

Speaker 3 And I know that it's a completely different team, completely different coaching staff from when they were the weirdest team of all time. But it's going to take a while to get that stink off my brain.

Speaker 3 Like, I still expect the Chargers to do strange things and to get to a place where they have more talent than any team in the league, but yet somehow find ways to win all sorts of easy games.

Speaker 1 And that was the thing last year. They were a good team, obviously, but they didn't make the playoffs.
So I wasn't ready to say, like, oh my God, this team is incredible.

Speaker 1 They didn't make the fucking playoffs.

Speaker 3 But think about it today. So I guess it's kind of a silver lining for the Raiders.
Derek Carr, the world is filled with Derek Carr truthers. I'm convinced.

Speaker 3 I don't know where they come from, but you can't tell me.

Speaker 3 I will not believe in Derek Carr. I just won't.
I know that some people are saying like, oh, he should be a league MVP. I'm going to put put a future on him to win the league MVP.
He's really good.

Speaker 3 I think he can be league MVP this year. And I don't, I've never seen that from Derek Carr.
Right. He's very, he's a confusing quarterback.
He has the worst internal clock.

Speaker 1 Well, no, so here's what it is.

Speaker 3 I think he's the most sackable quarterback in the league right now.

Speaker 1 Here's what it is.

Speaker 1 When like Tom Brady or Patrick Mahomes or Josh Allen, when they get, when the block, when the blocking's there, and they have like four or five seconds, you're watching it and you're saying, well, this sucks.

Speaker 1 they're gonna like if you're playing them if Tom Brady has five seconds you're like well he's clearly gonna hit an open guy Derek Carr the more time he has like the more dangerous it gets for Derek Carr he's like oh I have all this time I'm gonna do something really fucked up really stupid yeah he did that a couple times where it was like he was under a lot of pressure today but there were a couple times where it was like oh he's got a little bit of time here oh he threw an interception and it's like fuck dude what are you doing i think i think is there's always something wrong with his internal clock yeah he's always making really unusual decisions.

Speaker 3 The great news, though, for the Raiders is he played about as bad as he can play, and you only lost by five points. Yes.
So that's pretty good.

Speaker 3 Like, he got his lunch eaten, especially that offensive line had some issues dealing with Mac and with Bosa, and things got sideways for a while.

Speaker 3 But you only lost by five points to maybe the most talented team in that division.

Speaker 1 We also have to... I know it's early, but obviously they played together at Fresno State.
Devontae Adams was incredible today, but

Speaker 1 are we going to, I don't know, two, three weeks from now, be like, is he forcing it? Because Devontae Adams had 17 targets, the rest of the receivers had 18 total. Yeah.
That's that's a lot.

Speaker 1 Like, there's, is there going to be a little bit of like, hey, he's just trying to get his guy? Because that can happen. And it's like, that can be bad when they're not hitting other guys.

Speaker 3 They've got enough good players.

Speaker 1 Like Miller. I know, Waller and Retro.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, there's, they, they have a lot of good players, but I just, I will never, Derek Carr just, I had money on the Raiders, and I was watching it and being like, this isn't going to work out.

Speaker 1 Okay, let me go back a little bit. Then the Chargers defense deserves a lot of credit because they looked good.

Speaker 3 I was basically saying that Derek Carr is an exploding bag of dog shit. And I say that with love in my heart.
I would not say that about him if he actually was dog shit.

Speaker 3 I think he's good enough, but he's good enough to be so frustrating when he makes these bad decisions. Because he's, you know, I would ignore him if he was just dog trash.

Speaker 1 It's getting into the tears. It's like Derek Carr shows flashes where he's like, he's an elite quarterback, but he's not.
Yeah, I'm just.

Speaker 3 I will never believe in him enough to put him up in that, like, he can win it. The only way that Derek Carr could ever win a Super Bowl is if he had

Speaker 3 an all-star team at every single position around him. And even then, he might find a way to screw it up.

Speaker 1 Right, right.

Speaker 1 He is the perfect example of a guy who can flash elite quarterback play and then at the other side just be like, what the fuck are you doing? Yeah.

Speaker 1 but the Chargers' defense was incredible, and they were all up in his ass all day.

Speaker 1 And I think the offensive line for the Raiders is a huge problem that, like, they could, they could have all these other positions, and they can have explosive games, but it's going to be hard when you go up against that.

Speaker 1 You go up against the Chiefs with Chris Jones. Like, there's it's going to be tough.

Speaker 1 They're going to have some tough games where their offensive line is going to have to figure it out for Derek Carter.

Speaker 3 They also got a guy on the offensive line that has the tattoos of Richie incognito, and it confused me for a while. Yeah, I was like, I think that's Richie back out there.

Speaker 1 I think it's just reincarnation. Probably.

Speaker 3 It's beautiful.

Speaker 1 He retired and then they just, that guy got all the tattoos.

Speaker 1 Okay. So yeah, Chargers officially, that was another big takeaway.
I'm officially taking them very, very seriously this year. Might even have to place a future on them.

Speaker 1 I probably missed all the good numbers, but whatever. All right.

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Speaker 3 aaron rodgers is so mad he's so mad the vikings won 23 7 aaron rodgers is so mad he does not like those wide receivers he wants to kill christian watson do you think do you think there's ever been a bigger disparity in the amount of drugs that two opposing quarterbacks have ever done than Aaron Rodgers versus Kirk Cousins?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 3 I don't think so.

Speaker 1 No, I don't think it's possible, actually.

Speaker 3 No chance. Kirk Cousins has probably called the cops on his friends for using drugs.

Speaker 1 He probably pulled me. He probably called the cops on Aaron Rodgers today.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 He's like, I think this guy's holding. He smells funny.

Speaker 1 I should actually form an alliance with Kirk Cousins.

Speaker 1 Get Aaron Rodgers in jail. Or

Speaker 3 maybe Kirk Cousins caught a contact high from Aaron Rodgers today. That's what chilled him out so much, and he was able to take a few chances.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true. He did.
I mean, Justin Jefferson also

Speaker 1 is so insane. Is he the best receiver in the NFL?

Speaker 3 I'm going to say that Justin Jefferson is

Speaker 3 top three receiver in the NFL.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because we always do this, and then we forget a bunch of people. But he was incredible.
At least three people. You just looked up every two seconds.
Yeah, no, I was about to get to that.

Speaker 1 Aaron Rodgers hates his receivers so much. And, of course, everything Aaron Rodgers does makes news.

Speaker 1 and he probably was just doing it out of the kindness of his heart but he did go up to justin jefferson after the game and he said you're the best player in the game yeah i don't think that's really news i mean like

Speaker 3 christian watson was also uh laying on the ground right next to him yeah but do you expect aaron rodgers to go up to like alan lazard and be like you're the best receiver in the league dude no no no no best player yeah i know i'm yeah not receiver he called him the best player i'm just saying like i i think that's like i'm not gonna get on aaron rodgers for doing that i don't think that's him throwing anybody under the bus oh i will i think that he is.

Speaker 3 I actually am going to attack Aaron Rodgers because he's doing too much media these days. Yeah.
He's doing this Sunday conversation. He's doing

Speaker 3 Garden My Take. He's doing the Joe Rogan show.
He's on InfoWars, all the above. Like, Aaron Rodgers is, he's become the new Baker Mayfield.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And, and, oh, man, I loved every second of it. And I, and fuck you to Jake.

Speaker 1 A special fuck you to Jake because Jake just completely ruined my mood when he was like, oh, this is going to be great because now the Packers have lost and the Bears have won.

Speaker 1 So Big Cat's going to convince himself the Bears are going to beat the Packers on Sunday Night Football Week, too. But that's not going to happen.
Let me do that. I'm not wrong, though, right?

Speaker 1 But let me do it.

Speaker 1 So you can't. Let me just walk into the same sideshow Bob.
I step on the rake and then I step on another rake. Let me just keep doing it.

Speaker 7 Some confidence that you didn't think you were going to have when this day began.

Speaker 1 The Bears are going to beat the Packers on Sunday Night Football. There you go.
I think they will. There you go.
I don't. The Packers.

Speaker 1 Aaron Rodgers hates his wide receivers.

Speaker 3 He hates them. I would, too, if I was him.
Yeah. Do you see that pass that was dropped in the first Christian Watson?

Speaker 1 Christian Watson?

Speaker 3 He wants to kill him. It was pretty bad.

Speaker 3 I would absolutely hate my wide receivers.

Speaker 1 If a Packers wide receiver goes missing,

Speaker 1 it's Aaron Rodgers. He killed him in jail.

Speaker 3 I thought it was interesting, too, how Jordan Love came on and didn't seem to have those same issues. He was perfect.

Speaker 1 He was so good.

Speaker 3 Yeah, isn't that weird, though? I think Jordan Love might throw a veteran ball.

Speaker 1 Interesting. Interesting.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm just going to, I know what's going to happen.

Speaker 1 I know Matt LaFleur is a phenomenal head coach, and I know it's still Aaron Rodgers, and I know the Packers will write the ship, and I'm not going to overreact because I did this last year when they lost to the Saints, but I'm just saying I'm living in the moment, and this moment is very fun.

Speaker 1 The Bears are 1-0, the Packers are 0-1, and that franchise is crumbling.

Speaker 3 Matt LaFleur also, he is a good coach, but he did give bulletin board material to the entire Vikings fan base.

Speaker 3 He was like, I know they're going gonna blow that stupid horn nice when they come in there it's not a stupid horn it's called the was it the Fjogel Fjogel horn yeah and it means it's got a long history of tradition yeah up there remember when it when it froze and cracked because it was too cold outside that's what they used to use to introduce uh Ragnar the mascot yeah for the for the Vikings back in the day so LaFleur I know he came under a lot of fire from the Vikings fan base.

Speaker 3 I think he's just doing the old Phil Jackson where he knew he was going to lose this game.

Speaker 3 He tried to put it on himself himself for jinxing them ahead of time smart as opposed to making Aaron Rodgers have to come to terms with him hating all his teammates.

Speaker 1 He's a great head coach. I wanted to finish with a couple names I just want to throw out there.

Speaker 1 Devontae Adams, he's pretty good, right? He is pretty good. T.
Higgins, he's pretty good. Yeah.
Michael Pittman? Yeah, he's okay. Debo Samuel? Pretty good.
Very good. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Those are all wide receivers the Packers could have drafted in the last couple of years that they didn't because they wanted to draft someone else. So Aaron Rodgers, like, you have a gripe, dude.

Speaker 1 You should actually, you should hold out again because it's fucked up what they've done to you.

Speaker 3 Did you say Devontae Adams? Yeah, I said Devontae Adams, yeah. They could have drafted him?

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, they could have had him this year. But Aaron Rodgers took so much money, he ate the whole pie.
That's true. So there's nothing they could have done.
So I'm just saying.

Speaker 1 They got Randall Cobb. It's crumbling.
This franchise is crumbling. I love it.
The Bears are going to win. The Bears are going to be 2-0, and the Packers are going to be 0-2.
Think about that.

Speaker 1 Think about that world that we're going to live in. Are you ready for that world, Packers fans?

Speaker 1 You're not. And I know that it's like 2 in the morning, and I'm just talking out of my ass, and I'm kind of delirious, but I'm living in the moment.
You're not ready for that moment.

Speaker 3 I love that the Packers' strategy for making Aaron Rodgers happy was like, fine, we'll get Randall Cobb back.

Speaker 3 You loved that guy like 10 years ago.

Speaker 1 Jordy Nelson. That should make everything better.
Yes, yes. And the Vikings look very good.
Kevin O'Connell passed first test.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the Vikings.

Speaker 1 I talked myself into the Vikings winning the North, and then I bet on the Packers today because that's how stupid I am. I think

Speaker 3 I might be ready to respect Kirk Cousins.

Speaker 1 Don't do this.

Speaker 3 Because

Speaker 3 I'm going to say that Kevin O'Connell might have unlocked something.

Speaker 3 What do you think about that? You think Kirk Cousins has been activated?

Speaker 1 Well, they don't just run on first down every time and play the most conservative football.

Speaker 1 One game sample size.

Speaker 3 I think Cousins has been activated.

Speaker 1 Wow. He did have a perfect Kirk Cousins.
He He was 23 for 32, 277 yards, and two touchdowns. That's beautiful.
That's beautiful, Kirk.

Speaker 3 Like, Kirk Cousins is, it's the Bitcoin avatar, whereas Kirk Cousins this year has the glowing red eyes.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes. He's ready to go.
He's ready to take off.

Speaker 1 Packers are dead. Billy, football guy of the week.
So, y'all know that we're big fans of Cracker Barrel. And this holiday season, I will be sat at their table with a big plate of country fried turkey.

Speaker 15 And Brandon, I'll be right there with you, and I'll check it off my Christmas list in the country store while I'm at it it'll make a nice holiday tradition oh that's so cute of you enjoy all the more holiday traditions only at cracker barrel this week uh our winner of last week's football guy of the week is

Speaker 1 chase morales who was the high school kid who ran without his helmet found him uh he's a baseball recruiter oh you found him i found him oh so you did when we said don't hunt uh high schooler you're like no i didn't no no no he

Speaker 13 i found him on twitter okay uh he's trying to play play college baseball. I put his highlight tape in the blog, so hopefully someone sees that and maybe gets a break.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 3 did you nail him the nail?

Speaker 13 No, because I didn't go to that level of stalking a high school kid.

Speaker 1 That's fair. So, yeah.
You didn't nail him. I didn't nail him.
Okay. Maybe we can.
Yeah, do we nail it?

Speaker 3 If you feel you're only allowed to nail people who are over 18.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 3 Good point.

Speaker 1 I think we've got to start sending these people some cheesesteaks, too. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Pardon my cheesesteak.

Speaker 13 We can send to high schooler some cheesesteak.

Speaker 17 Absolutely.

Speaker 1 Yes. With a nail in it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 One out of every four cheesesteaks we send to the football guy of the week will have a nail in it.

Speaker 3 You have to guess which one.

Speaker 13 So the first nominee for this week was a Detroit fan who just showed up to the game in full pads. Yes.
McConkie. The thing was him and his wife were sort of both cosplaying in something.

Speaker 13 So he's dressed up as a football player. His wife is kind of dressed up as like a, I think like a

Speaker 13 Downton Abbey type character. So

Speaker 1 we'll see. Always what I think of

Speaker 1 for football? Oh, for the queen. Oh, yeah, that's probably

Speaker 3 about the queen.

Speaker 1 It's British. It's British.
Yeah, it's very British.

Speaker 13 They definitely talk about it.

Speaker 3 I think every British show in some way is about the Queen.

Speaker 1 Everything in Britain's for the Queen.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 13 Then our second nominee is Ray Rochelle, a defensive lineman who's playing his first football season at 49-year-old as a college freshman.

Speaker 1 Hell yeah.

Speaker 3 I love that guy. Super old guy.

Speaker 1 I love these stories. Yeah.

Speaker 3 And it's at like North Dakota State University of Sciences or something like that.

Speaker 3 I saw the clip from practice where they were doing a fumble drill where he was just running with the ball and then just getting stripped by somebody.

Speaker 1 And they were having a great time.

Speaker 3 You watch this guy play and you're like, I respect that. I admire that guy for following his dream.
Go do it.

Speaker 13 I mean, him getting out of a three-point stance. I mean, I couldn't imagine doing it at that age.

Speaker 13 The third nominee is Luke Caston, another high school kid who before every game, he mows the whole field. Oh.
He gets in an electric lawn mower and mows the whole field.

Speaker 1 Wait, electric lawn mower?

Speaker 3 It's a ride-along.

Speaker 13 Oh, is it gas? I think it's gas. Okay, all right.

Speaker 3 So, I was going to rescind his football guy if he's an electric mower.

Speaker 1 It's got to be like totally gas-guzzling to the max.

Speaker 3 I want it to diesel. I want it to

Speaker 3 raise the temperature of that town by three degrees per year.

Speaker 1 You can see the ozone layer like evaporating wherever he mows.

Speaker 13 Our next nominee is this old guy.

Speaker 3 I love Billy's hmm.

Speaker 3 It's like very interesting opinion.

Speaker 1 So this is a, there's a lot.

Speaker 13 This is high school heavy. It won't be like this every week.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Yeah, no, definitely not.

Speaker 3 Definitely not.

Speaker 13 No, but basically this old guy in Arkansas ran out of the stands to fight a ref. It's like ridiculous.

Speaker 13 And this guy's like too old to be doing anything physical, and he's just walking out there and he's trying to throw hands with the refs, and he had to be restrained by multiple cops.

Speaker 13 But I don't know what was done to cause it to set him off, but that's pretty hilarious. Okay.
And our last nominee, little.

Speaker 3 That guy definitely has like some corn whiskey coursing through his blood right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 That guy's hammered. Yeah.
Respect.

Speaker 13 And last guy was a Jets fan who was doing push-ups before the game in the parking lot between two cars. Nice.

Speaker 1 So football guy moved. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. So go vote for on the blog.
I have two others that just thrown in there, honorable mentions.

Speaker 1 The kid at LSU who just slowly walked out to the 10-yard line

Speaker 1 and was like literally just, he was very, very drunk, but he was just taking in the scene. And then the cops came and were like, hey, you can't do this.

Speaker 1 And he tried to slap a cop, and then he got fucking like his head shoved into the ground. But it was sick.

Speaker 3 The kid was like, the cops came out. The kid looked at the cops, like, why are you harassing me?

Speaker 1 Yeah, like, I'm fucking

Speaker 1 a field, bro.

Speaker 3 I know my rights. He tried doing like some sovereign citizen shit.
Yeah. He's like, I'm actually an interstate traveler right now.

Speaker 1 You can't arrest me. It was awesome.

Speaker 1 He was so drunk. I was one of those drunks where it's like, I wish I was that drunk.

Speaker 3 Yeah. he was lost.
Lost. He got lost on a field during an LSU game.
How cool is that?

Speaker 1 Yeah, very cool. They ran a play while he was standing on the 10-yard line.
That's definitely acid. That dude's so sick.

Speaker 1 And then also, the guy, there was just a picture of a guy who was watching the Bills game in the bar and he brought a football with him. He had his, like, he had his chin resting on the football.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Trent, I think, tweeted that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, fucking love that guy. Yeah.
Legend.

Speaker 1 Okay, good job, Billy. Give it up for Chicago.

Speaker 19 Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 12 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd.

Speaker 1 Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep

Speaker 1 coming.

Speaker 19 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

Speaker 1 Hank, who's back of the week? My who's back of the week is 19-year-olds. Oh,

Speaker 3 Very good.

Speaker 1 Carlos Alcatraz won the U.S. Open.
Oh, all right.

Speaker 3 And he's only 19.

Speaker 1 He's 19. Awesome name.

Speaker 1 I feel like it's been a while since we've had

Speaker 1 a 19-year-old in our midst.

Speaker 1 And now we got another one. U.S.
Open chant. Carlos Alcatraz.

Speaker 3 What a cool name.

Speaker 1 Alcatraz. Alcatraz.
Yeah, Alcatraz.

Speaker 1 Alcatraz. Carlos.
Is that repronouncing it correctly? Carlos Alcatraz? Yeah, Alcatraz. You guys got it.

Speaker 1 Jake doesn't want to go home.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 7 You guys gave me a lot of crap for bringing up tennis, but I had so many people tweeting at me Friday night, being like, because you brought it up on the pod, I was watching Tiafo and Alcatraz in the semifinal.

Speaker 7 It was a 5-7.

Speaker 1 It was awesome.

Speaker 1 It was a really good amount.

Speaker 3 Tiafo is fun to watch.

Speaker 3 Actually, I'll defend Jake for a little bit. We do give him a lot of shit for liking tennis because it's a very dorky sport that no one cares about when it gets intense.
But I do like Alcatraz.

Speaker 3 I I like Tiafo. And I like that real prick that hates everything.
And

Speaker 3 Kyrios. Yeah.

Speaker 3 The future of tennis is in good hands with those three. Those are the big three moving forward.
So pick your sides wisely. I think I'm a Kyrios guy.

Speaker 1 On the court.

Speaker 3 On the court, like Peter King says.

Speaker 1 Only on the court. Between the white lines.

Speaker 3 And then I also like Tiafo.

Speaker 7 I think Tiafo would be great on the show. DC.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, we'll have Tiafo on. Yeah, that'd be great.

Speaker 1 Yeah, listen, my tennis take, I know it's exciting.

Speaker 3 People were talking about it.

Speaker 1 I have to draw the line somewhere. It's kind of like F1.
Like, I have to draw the line.

Speaker 7 I only closely pay attention to the Grand Slams.

Speaker 1 I'm going next year.

Speaker 1 I was watching Friday Night and I was like, I should have just fucking went to the game. If I watched tennis and F1, which we pretended to like, I mean, I still will watch Drive to Survive.

Speaker 1 I don't have enough time.

Speaker 7 I'm not going to watch the smaller tournaments over football or basketball, but the Grand Slam is awesome.

Speaker 1 I'll watch Wimbledon. And when Djokovic is allowed to fucking compete because he would have won this thing.
But he didn't. But he would have.

Speaker 3 I'll also watch the Australian Open when it comes on at weird times when I just find myself watching TV when there's no other sports on. Australian Open is really good for that.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. Good who's back, Hank.
Thanks. You're welcome.
Nailed it. Appreciate it.
Good job.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Hank, talk to the mic.

Speaker 1 PFT, who's your who's back?

Speaker 3 Oh, Hank looks like he wants to kill me.

Speaker 1 You mad? Two in the morning. We just hit the mad.
I am good. You mad.

Speaker 3 My who's back of the week is the Water Dogs.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Because these little bitches, that's respectful.

Speaker 1 They're dogs.

Speaker 3 These little bitches are in the PLL finals next Sunday, taking place at what time? Probably immediately at the same time as NFL kickoff next Sunday. So ratings are going to be through the roof.

Speaker 3 But I'm excited because I don't have to let out a random dog that I find in a neighborhood. That was going to be my punishment this week.

Speaker 3 Basically, every week I've been threatening to kill a stranger's dog unless the Water Dogs win, and they haven't lost since that began.

Speaker 3 So shaming and being just generally bad people to the Water Dogs have proven to be the most effective motivation. So who are you playing?

Speaker 1 The Chaos.

Speaker 13 They beat a very good Whipsnakes team that has won the championship, I think, two out of the past.

Speaker 1 Exactly. You beat them.
No, but

Speaker 13 it's a pretty big upset.

Speaker 1 Listen, this is

Speaker 1 the absolute epitome of a win-win for us. We were talking about it before, but if the Water Dogs lose,

Speaker 1 if a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound?

Speaker 3 We're just not going to say anything.

Speaker 1 And if the Water Dogs win, I'm getting a ring. I'm getting, we're going to drink out of a cup.

Speaker 3 You think Paul Rabel is going to hand us the trophy? I think that he should.

Speaker 1 He absolutely should. I'm going to be like,

Speaker 1 just tell everyone, yeah, I won. I own the team that won the PLL champion.

Speaker 3 I won a champion. We're basically going to be the stan crunky

Speaker 1 of lacrosse. So we cannot lose next Sunday.

Speaker 3 No.

Speaker 1 What time is the game?

Speaker 3 Probably exactly 1 p.m. 3 p.m.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.
Looks like an hour hopping after the match. You got it now.
Right in the witching hour. Yeah.
That'll be fine.

Speaker 5 You'll see the end of the game after the witching hour.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.

Speaker 3 We will have the Water Dogs. You know what? I'm just going to say the semifinals, that was really my championship.
Yep. Because it's like the USA hockey team back in Lake Placid.

Speaker 3 When they beat USSR, that wasn't actually the finals. We beat the Whipsnakes.

Speaker 3 That was starting day one. We're like, we got to beat the Whipsnakes.

Speaker 3 If we do that you know everyone's got us counted out if we do that then we're going to consider the season a success so mission accomplished great job water dogs i'm also going to say we will watch this game on a computer

Speaker 3 and by that i mean jake will watch it and tell us what happened i think duges dugs will watch it yeah and then he'll tell jake what's happened and then jake will filter the important information to us yes

Speaker 7 i asked owner Big Cat his thoughts on the water dogs first championship appearance appearance. Two words.

Speaker 1 Cool. Yay.
Yay. That's exactly how I said it.
I said, cool. Yay.

Speaker 1 Like that. Hank, do you have any comments? Good job.
Good boop for the dogs.

Speaker 1 I don't even think I'm actually an owner or something.

Speaker 3 Did you not sign the paperwork? No.

Speaker 1 Sign it now. Sign it now.
Sign it right before the championship.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you should sign it.

Speaker 1 And then that way, if they lose, double win-win for us because we'll be like, that's Hank's fault.

Speaker 3 Our ownership group has been poisoned. Yep.

Speaker 3 From the inside. So, yeah, the Water Dogs, I guess, are back.
Also back is

Speaker 3 blog PFT because the MMBM is coming back. Nice.
I've been waiting to make an announcement about that.

Speaker 3 I talked about it last year when I did the interview with KFC behind the blog, and I really, really miss writing.

Speaker 3 I don't have that much time to do it anymore, but it's a thing that I really love doing more than anything else. So I don't know when it's going to come out.

Speaker 3 It's going to, well, I mean, like, it's, I love, I love writing.

Speaker 3 And it's going to come out sometime either Monday or Tuesday. I'm not sure if it's going to be Monday or Tuesday.
Tuesday.

Speaker 1 Sounds like Tuesday.

Speaker 3 Probably Tuesday. That way I can.

Speaker 1 Maybe even Wednesday. You know what?

Speaker 3 If it comes out Tuesday, I can include what happens on Monday night.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, yeah, sure.

Speaker 3 That'll happen. Boom.
The Tuesday morning quarterback.

Speaker 1 I think that's our. Tuesday afternoon.
Tuesday morning,

Speaker 1 Wednesday-ish.

Speaker 3 Tuesday morning bowel movement will be coming out Tuesday morning. I'm just going to say it right now.
So happy to be out back in the blog streets again because I missed it.

Speaker 1 All right, my who's back. I have two.
One is I'm the worst gambler alive. I went 0-7 and I lost my game of the year.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm not sad about it, but whatever. And then my other who's back is college football.
College football's back. Incredible Saturday.
I love it too because we spent all offseason.

Speaker 1 People were hand-wringing, oh my God, college football's changing. NIL, conference realignment, all this stuff.

Speaker 1 They forgot that college football still rules because of days like Saturday that had complete chaos. Texas almost beating Alabama.

Speaker 1 I'm counting Texas as back because their defense played better than they played like, I don't know, 15 years. I can't even remember the last time.

Speaker 3 That defense was 100% legit. It was awesome.

Speaker 1 And if Quentin Ewers doesn't get hurt,

Speaker 1 they win that game. I'm convinced of it.

Speaker 3 I thought it was fucked up that he goes into the tunnel and then Colt McCoy's dad's like, no, he can't complete a pass. I won't let him back in the game.

Speaker 1 You're no, Plino, he was like, hey, play catch with me real quick.

Speaker 3 Yeah,

Speaker 3 that's exactly what Texas' standard was back in, what, 2010? Yeah. It's funny, like, the similarities between those two injuries are kind of crazy.

Speaker 3 Both quarterbacks, I think, also, both backup quarterbacks went to the same high school. Yeah.

Speaker 3 But I think Texas, like, that's not a fluke what Texas did

Speaker 3 because they didn't really get that many breaks. In fact, they got fucked over on a couple bad calls.
Big time. And they could have very easily have won that game.

Speaker 3 Their defense is actually very, very good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they were flying around. Bryce Young also was just insane.
The way he got out of that sack was just silly.

Speaker 3 He just kind of like ducked.

Speaker 1 He just

Speaker 1 ducked and then, yeah, made the play.

Speaker 1 But what I was going to say was the like all the hand-wringing, everything, we had upsets. We had crazy App State going to Texas ⁇ M.
Notre Dame losing at home to Marshall.

Speaker 3 Who else lost? Nebraska.

Speaker 1 Nebraska firing Scott Frost. Oh, also Kansas, Duke, UNC, and Kentucky.
College basketball Blue Bloods all undefeated.

Speaker 7 More than that.

Speaker 1 What is it?

Speaker 13 Scrolling. Kajaga.

Speaker 1 Syracuse. Kajaga hasn't lost.

Speaker 7 UCLA.

Speaker 1 Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What'd you just do?

Speaker 7 Undefeated.

Speaker 1 You just tried to put Syracuse in the Blue Bloods?

Speaker 7 No, Blue Bloods plus Indiana is Kentucky UCLA Kansas Duke UNC those are the Blue Bloods those six

Speaker 7 Syracuse and then I also included Syracuse and Michigan State on this list Syracuse Michigan State are not on that list

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 smart savvy yeah see what you did there but yes Wisconsin lost whatever football stupid um the Sunbelt is the best conference in America yep

Speaker 3 Sunbelt East yep hey Sunbelt could you look up um just curious like Sun Belt East, we listed three teams that had big upsets this weekend over like very, very storied franchises.

Speaker 3 Who's in first place in the Sunbelt East? It's got to be either App State, Marshall, those.

Speaker 7 It's a waste of a Google because this is a trapped question, but I'm going to go ahead and say James Madison.

Speaker 3 Yeah, oh, that's right. Yeah, John Hughes.
First place in the Sunbelt East. Best conference of sports.

Speaker 1 Anthony Richardson-Heisman campaign.

Speaker 1 It's over. Yeah.

Speaker 13 We had that. We always had week one.

Speaker 1 Dude, Mark Stoops just,

Speaker 1 I mean, he fucking just beats Florida. They didn't win for 20 years against Florida, and then he's beaten them three out of the last five times.
And it was like, you know, that

Speaker 1 program has completely turned around and become something where watching that game on Saturday night, I was like, yeah, Kentucky is going to win this game because they're better, which never happened with Kentucky because they would lose in weird ways.

Speaker 1 Remember the time they just had 10 guys on the field? On defense twice.

Speaker 3 I think

Speaker 3 they did that twice in a game. Right.

Speaker 1 Now I'm just like, no, no, no. Kentucky's a really good football team and a good program.
Like, they're going to win this game in the swamp.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 They actually are like a very well-built, well-coached football team. Right.

Speaker 1 I stooped him in the van in Youngstown, right? Yeah. Yes, yes.
Both Stoops. When he wasn't even Kentucky Students.

Speaker 3 No, he wasn't. He was.
Yeah. We had the Stoops and Mark Mangino somehow in the van.

Speaker 1 Wait. No, he.

Speaker 3 No. Didn't he get in the van? No.
He was there.

Speaker 1 I don't know if he.

Speaker 3 He was definitely there. He was on the meeting.

Speaker 3 He definitely didn't get in the van.

Speaker 1 I would remember if he got in the car.

Speaker 1 He definitely didn't get in the van. That would be something that you remember forever.

Speaker 1 Kansas is back. Kansas won by 13 in overtime.

Speaker 3 It's crazy. It's crazy.

Speaker 3 Has any team ever won by 13 in overtime before?

Speaker 1 I think it's happened maybe once or twice before, but it was nuts. But it was one of those Saturdays that's just chaos, and every game was like staggered and perfect.

Speaker 1 Even Iowa, Iowa State, like Iowa State beating Iowa for the first time under Matt Campbell. The Pitt, Tennessee game was crazy.
I just love college football. I love, love college football.

Speaker 1 And this is a reminder to people who get upset and be like, it's being ruined, Rosillo,

Speaker 1 that college football will always rule because at the end of the day, it's a bunch of 18 to 22-year-olds making stupid decisions and fucking up games and having max chaos. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Also, I think UNC might be the greatest team to watch in college football.

Speaker 3 I feel like it's just going to be, we want to talk about maximum chaos. I feel like that's going to be UNC every single year.

Speaker 3 And like very fun to watch, but also like infuriating if you're actually a fan of UNC. Yes.

Speaker 1 Yes. No, their quarterback is awesome and their defense is hot garbage.
Yep. So yeah, awesome Saturday for college football.
I love college football. Scott Frost fired too soon.
16 and 31.

Speaker 1 I feel like he was building something. Come on.
Come on. Give him a shot.
Also, just kind of a lesson. It's like Scott Frost is a good lesson.

Speaker 1 Like Jim Harbaugh was teetering on this, but he righted the ship.

Speaker 1 Always be careful about, you know, like Scott Frost has no home now. The alumni, yeah.
He has no home. It's where he went home to be the guy, and now he's not the guy.

Speaker 1 He can't go to a Nebraska game ever again. No.

Speaker 1 Like, I guess maybe in like 20 years, when they're like, oh, you know, 1997. When they win a champion.

Speaker 3 It's kind of like Steve Bartman. Yeah.
Like, if they win the big one, then they can bring him back in the parade and be like, we forgive you.

Speaker 1 But he just ruined his home. Like,

Speaker 1 it would be so much better if Scott Frost had gone somewhere else, and the illusion of being the guy who saves Nebraska is always out there, but never actually prove it.

Speaker 3 I don't like their jerseys that they were wearing where they had the fake mesh on the numbers because like it looks cool from a distance, but then when you see the close-ups of it, you're like, that's bullshit.

Speaker 3 If you're going to have that design, it should actually be. They should wear the old jerseys.
Like the old Russell athletic ones that have those giant holes cut out in them. Can't be any worse.
Nope.

Speaker 1 And it's sad. I want Nebraska to be good.
The saddest part about Nebraska is like we like to joke about Texas being back, Notre Dame being back, Tennessee being back.

Speaker 1 No one even makes a joke about Nebraska being back. No one's even like, if they win a game, big game, like Nebraska's back.
Because it's just, they're not even at that joke stage.

Speaker 3 You remember when they fired Bo Polini, essentially, because he just cussed too much? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, they can take that one back. Screaming at people.
All right, Billy.

Speaker 13 Who's back is Nate Diaz?

Speaker 1 Yeah, Diaz has awesome sports. There's so much sports this weekend.
I watched that too.

Speaker 13 He was supposed to fight Kamzot, but Comzotte weighed in seven and a half pounds too much.

Speaker 1 That feels like it was intentional.

Speaker 13 That's BS.

Speaker 1 What was crazy? What they did was they just shuffled all three of the main cards. So they just...
All these guys were like at different weights, and they just all just fought different guys.

Speaker 3 I think it's just crazy that you can miss weight by eight pounds.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 13 It was definitely on purpose.

Speaker 1 He didn't want to beat Gazas beat.

Speaker 13 Yeah. I mean, Kamza Gazat manhandled his guy.
I forget who he fought, but I mean, Nate Diaz's fights are are like some of the best fights ever to watch.

Speaker 1 Even if he doesn't win. I don't know if you guys saw, but one of the coolest UFC moments,

Speaker 1 the woman who ended her fight with a heel kidney shot. Oh, yeah.
Crumpled her opponent. Liver.

Speaker 3 Those are my favorite.

Speaker 1 She literally thought her opponent was going to die. Deliver.

Speaker 3 Heel shot.

Speaker 1 She was on the ground, and she just heeled right into her opponent's liver, and she just fucking fell like a bag of, I don't know what a bag falls.

Speaker 3 A sack of potatoes.

Speaker 1 A sack of potatoes. Yeah.
House of cards is what I was looking for.

Speaker 3 It's two o'clock. The liver shots.

Speaker 13 Yeah, we were talking about that the other day.

Speaker 3 I'm a freak. I'm an absolute freak for liver shot compilations.

Speaker 1 You got to watch this liver shot. Did you see it? I haven't seen it yet.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Just type in heel liver shot. Heel, liver shot.
It was so sick. So sick.

Speaker 13 Because they don't know for a second when they get hit, and then it kicks in two seconds later.

Speaker 1 It happened so fast that I was like, oh, did she hit her in the pussy? Okay, here's the thing. Because that's illegal.

Speaker 1 But then you're like, no, no, she liver shot her.

Speaker 13 And it always has a sound.

Speaker 3 Heel liver kick. Here we go.
Wait, this is a minute, 30 seconds.

Speaker 1 Get to the heel. All right, go ahead, Jake, while he's watching.

Speaker 7 My who's back is Le'Veon Bell.

Speaker 1 He walked out Adrian Peterson.

Speaker 7 A lot of spots. I didn't even see this.

Speaker 3 I guess it was really late.

Speaker 1 And I woke up. I saw it.
I was up for the game of the year. I saw it when all these things came and went.
Oh,

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 8 Awesome. That's good.

Speaker 3 That's a good liver shot. Yeah.

Speaker 7 Yeah, so that was an interesting video. And by the way, reminder, next weekend, it's the defending champion Max Homa defending his Fortnite Championship.

Speaker 1 I'm going to bet on Max.

Speaker 1 And he might have a baby. Yeah, I think he's a baby month and a half.

Speaker 7 So the PGA tour offseason is a week, two weeks.

Speaker 1 Well, when you're really good at it,

Speaker 1 you're a golfer. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, it's awesome, though.

Speaker 3 There's a presence. No, I know it's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 What do you think they do in the offseason? Yeah, but the real players don't play in the Fortnite. That's why this is our time to shine.

Speaker 1 We dominate.

Speaker 7 As a reminder, next Sunday, in addition to football, we're going to have the Water Dogs and Max Homa. Hopefully.

Speaker 1 No, he's going to win. Yes.
Yeah, actually, you know what? He's involved on Sunday. Oh, yeah, he did tell me last week.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he told me on Friday. He said, I guarantee that I win.
Oh, there you go.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 7 golf and football next Sunday.

Speaker 1 Everyone tweet him and be like, Thanks for guaranteeing. I'm going to bet on you.

Speaker 3 Do you think Max Homa is going to boycott the president's cup because he thinks Joe Biden's illegitimate?

Speaker 1 I saw he was named too. He did say that.
Yeah, he did say that as well.

Speaker 13 I have a stupid question.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 3 I know.

Speaker 13 Is the Fortnite Cup?

Speaker 1 It's not actually the Fortnite. It's.
Wait, do you want to ask the question?

Speaker 3 Okay, sorry.

Speaker 13 One, is it golf? Two, is it named after Fortnite the game?

Speaker 1 Three, none of the above.

Speaker 3 Okay, first answer to your first question. Is it golf?

Speaker 1 Yes. Oh.
It's Fortinite.

Speaker 3 Fortinet is a sideboard.

Speaker 1 So that's on you, General Miss. Well, it's a Tim Kennedy, Kennedy, Tom Kennedy.

Speaker 1 I actually think it's the Fortnite.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. Like, we just make these jokes, and then eventually they just become reality.

Speaker 3 It's an anagram. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And we're like, has to move it, the rest of me.

Speaker 1 For tonight, I ate a liver with some fava beans.

Speaker 1 All right, let's do numbers.

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Speaker 1 Random numbers. I'm not guessing.
Why?

Speaker 1 No, you have to. Hank, you have to.
It's sponsored. Hank, you have to.

Speaker 1 I think they would. Corporate Hank, respect the integrity.
Nope, you have to. I'm showing.
You can't win. You can't win.
You have to. I cannot win until you can't win.

Speaker 3 Do it.

Speaker 1 101. No.
Hank. I'm going to be mad at you if you do.
If you just say a number.

Speaker 1 Memes has three. Max.

Speaker 1 Max is falling asleep. You're fucking.
What is it? 56. 56.

Speaker 1 Say it. I don't want to.

Speaker 1 Hank, you have to do it. I'm thinking of a number.

Speaker 1 I want to choke you right now.

Speaker 1 I actually want to choke you.

Speaker 3 You have to do this.

Speaker 3 They're paying us money. Mitchy, what's your number?

Speaker 1 I'll give you a second to think.

Speaker 3 I'm going to take whatever Hank does minus one. Okay.

Speaker 1 26. One.
Billy. 6-9.

Speaker 3 Okay, Hank picked one. You have two? Yeah, I'll take two.
All right.

Speaker 1 I'll take four.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 3 we have one four.

Speaker 1 Zero can be picked or no? Is zero in there?

Speaker 1 Four!

Speaker 1 Is that me?

Speaker 1 Yeah!

Speaker 1 Yeah! Nice. Put it on the record book.

Speaker 1 Kind of crazy.

Speaker 3 Kind of Mickey Mouse, but... I don't care.
Actually, no one, yeah. Yeah, fuck it.

Speaker 1 No, because if Hank

Speaker 3 got it, that would have been definitely Mickey Mouse.

Speaker 7 I'll be honest, I don't have a record book ever honor system for how many times we've got it.

Speaker 1 I just keep honeydicking him so he thinks this is real. Big four.

Speaker 3 Yeah, four. Big four, Hank.
Well, that was.

Speaker 1 You were close. I mean, that was too close.
That was damn Hank. But that also was only because of what you said and then what PFT said.
And then memes already taken three. Yeah.
I was boxed into four.

Speaker 1 You're so close, memes.

Speaker 4 Good pick, Hank.

Speaker 1 Memes, have you won it?

Speaker 1 No. What?

Speaker 1 Cut that.

Speaker 1 Hank is the only one who's never won it.

Speaker 1 All right. We will see everyone

Speaker 1 on Wednesday with Ryan Fitzpatrick.

Speaker 3 Football's back. Love you guys.

Speaker 13 Crows are capable of racketeering. All for the ground.

Speaker 1 Bitches love the ground.

Speaker 1 I'm talking away.

Speaker 1 I don't know what

Speaker 1 to say. I'd say it anyway.

Speaker 1 Today's a mother day to find you shining away.

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for your love away.

Speaker 1 Drink

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 Take

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 I'll be

Speaker 1 gone.

Speaker 1 Drink on me.

Speaker 1 Seven needles to say

Speaker 1 I all say it. It's about me, still a little way.

Speaker 1 Slowly learning that life is okay.

Speaker 1 Stay after me.

Speaker 1 It's the better to be safe than sorry.

Speaker 1 Things that you say

Speaker 1 is in life, oh, just to play my worries away.

Speaker 1 You're all things I've got to remember.

Speaker 1 You're shy and away.

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for you anyway.

Speaker 1 Take

Speaker 1 on,

Speaker 1 take on me.

Speaker 1 Take

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 up

Speaker 1 Take only

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 1 take

Speaker 1 all

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 Take only take

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 up

Speaker 1 Take on me I

Speaker 1 take

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 up

Speaker 1 Take unused

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 Take on me

Speaker 1 Take unmute

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 me