Cincinnati Head Coach Luke Fickell, MLB Trade Deadline, NFL Suspensions + Mt Rushmore Of Fruit

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Speaker 1 See mintmobile.com. On today's pardon, my take.
We have Cincinnati Bearcats head coach Luke Fickle.

Speaker 1 We also have a lot of sports to discuss. MLB trade deadline was crazy.
It was brazy. Sorry.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, it was. It was brazy.

Speaker 1 We had

Speaker 1 the Dolphins lose some draft picks. Deshaun Watson was suspended.

Speaker 1 We're going to do hot seat cool throne. We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of Fruits, which we have not done yet, surprisingly.
That will get contentious, I would assume.

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Speaker 1 Welcome to Part of My Take presented by What Not Go Download It Right Now new auction site. We just talked.
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Speaker 1 We just talked about potentially auctioning off the ping pong ball lottery machine.

Speaker 1 So, check out whatnot. Today is Wednesday, August 3rd, and Juan Soto is a San Diego Padre.
Love to see him go to the Padres. No, we don't.
We don't love to see it at all. Yes.

Speaker 1 I went through a lot of steps of the grieving process today. Hank, don't even turn your mic on.
I'm not even going to tell you. Hank, please shut the fuck up.
Please shut the fuck up, Hank.

Speaker 1 Let me talk about Juan Soto.

Speaker 1 At the end, at at the end. My big baseball boy is gone.
I'm going to miss him. He's 23.
He's Ted Williams. He might be better than Ted Williams.
He's gone. He did win a World Series.

Speaker 1 He's Babe Ruth and Barry Bonds combined. He did win us a World Series, and I love Juan Soto.
I'm very sad to see him go.

Speaker 1 It just brought up all the feelings that I've had for the last like three years being a Nats fan. And granted, we did get a World Series, so I'm not going to cry too much about it.

Speaker 1 But we've had a lot of players that leave. It happens all the time.

Speaker 1 We're the minor league team. We're the farm system for Major League Baseball.
It's a wonder that we got one World Series. I'm very grateful for that.

Speaker 1 But I did go through every single step of the grieving process today. I couldn't believe it when it happened.
I convinced myself

Speaker 1 last night that we were not going to trade him. It was all going to work out.
I was going to be fine. I was going to be happy.
The world would be perfect. It'd be all sunshine and rainbows.

Speaker 1 Did not work out that way. He's going to the Padres.
So the steps that I went through in this process, first denial, and then I was bargaining. I was like, you know what?

Speaker 1 Wonsoto damaged goods ruined his swing swing at the home run derby.

Speaker 1 Here's a little stat for you. I know your math guy.
His swinging

Speaker 1 strike rate, this is per Stad Hole Sports, our good friend. Follow him on Twitter.
He's got great, unusual stats, smart guy. He says that Juan Soto's swinging strike rate is up from 5.3% to 9.7%

Speaker 1 on the first two pitches of an at-bat post-home run derby. Now, I'm not a world-renowned math-educated person, but that's about double.
That's pretty much double. And then I was like, you know what?

Speaker 1 We're going to sign Juan Soto when he becomes a free agent again in two years.

Speaker 1 So we could, or three years, we could get that. That could work out.

Speaker 1 Two years, two and a half years. And then I said to myself, well, let's see what happens in the game tonight.
Oh, yeah, we're beating Jake DeGrom and the New York Mets.

Speaker 1 The Washington Nationals are better without Juan Soto. Yeah.
So now I've come out the other side and I'm starting to, I've accepted reality, but at the same time,

Speaker 1 I'm still bitter about the way things went down.

Speaker 1 Okay, so you did go through the range of emotions we watched,

Speaker 1 and you were even like asking

Speaker 1 questions to the air of like, you know, spin zones. Then whenever we said something, you just swat it down, and you weren't even like, no, I don't even, I don't want to listen to that.
But

Speaker 1 here's the bottom line is I see it, and you can swat this one down. The Nationals were never going to re-sign them.
So you've got a lot.

Speaker 1 The Padres aren't going to return. The Padres aren't going to re-sign them.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 The Yankees or the Dodgers are the only two teams that are going to afford Juan Soto. So you had to trade him, and it was a good trade.

Speaker 1 We got a haul. We fleeced the Padres.

Speaker 1 And be very careful what you wish for, Padres, because you think, is there a little bit of Manny Machado that's like a little bit pissed off that they have expectations now? I don't know.

Speaker 1 I think the Padres, I mean, Manny Machado, Fernando Tatis, and Juan Soto is, I mean, I would say it's the most electric three stars in the game. And Luke Foyt.
And Luke Foyt.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's not there anymore. And Eric Hosmer.
Oh, wait, he's not there. Eric Cosmer was trending on Twitter because he held up the deal with his no trade clause.

Speaker 1 You have a no-trade clause for a reason. Anyone who's mad at Eric Hosmer, like, that's the point of the no-trade clause.
And then he got traded to the Red Sox right after. So

Speaker 1 I just think that Juan Soto is an incredible player. Actually, PFT, you should just be mad at Juan Soto for being so good that you couldn't afford him.

Speaker 1 He got so good that only two teams in Major League Baseball can afford him. That's how good we are at developing players in the Nationals.

Speaker 1 You'll be able to do it again, probably. It's not your fault.
It's Juan Soto's fault. He got too good.
I ran through the prospects that we got. Here's what I got.
Mackenzie Gore, cool name.

Speaker 1 Robert Hash. Hot chick name.
Well, sounds like a hot chick. It could be like a hot chick TikToker or like a Scottish warlord.
Mackenzie Gore is like,

Speaker 1 she is senior at Michigan State. C.J.
Abrams, cool name. Sounds like he directs movies where Superman beats up the devil.

Speaker 1 James Wood, cool name, kind of. He sounds like he's in the movie where Superman beats up the devil, but he plays just a regular human being.
Yeah, I actually looked up some deep stats on James Wood.

Speaker 1 This is when I was in just like make yourself feel better PFT. So I found some stats on him on Twitter.
He has a 0.412 XWOBA and a 0.449 XWOBA CON.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 those are the highest of those numbers that I've ever seen. Yep.
In what league?

Speaker 1 Whatever league that he's in currently. I'm just going to say, if it was double A, that's one thing, but triple A.
He's whiffing.

Speaker 1 He only whiffs at 13% of pitches in the zone, so that's good. And I saw somebody say that he has more RBIs than strikeouts.
I don't know much about baseball, but that also sounds good.

Speaker 1 I forget who we're talking about. This is Wan Soto.
It's a prospect. We're talking prospects.
Listen, we're real seam heads on the show.

Speaker 1 Then we got Jarlin Susanna, cool name. He throws 100 miles per hour and he's 18.
Okay. So that's a plus grade on upgrading on youth from Wansota.
So I'd say fleeced. Yeah, I mean,

Speaker 1 again, I don't know, as much as it sucks, they had to do this. He wasn't going to resign.
And again, I don't think he's going to resign with the Padres.

Speaker 1 The Padres actually made a great move because they are going to get Juan Soto for this October, maybe next October, and then just flip him again and get prospects again.

Speaker 1 Juan Soto is also going to look awesome in the Padres' alternate uniforms. The Padres are going to be very fun.
The Padres are going to be very, very fun.

Speaker 1 Those games against the Dodgers are going to be even more fun. San Diego's back.
Sandy goes back. They got Josh Hader from the Brewers as well.
What were you going to say, Hank? What was your.

Speaker 1 I was just going to say today was different because we were on an exciting shoot, but we were in close quarters all day long.

Speaker 1 So we experienced the grieving process with PFT the entire day, and I was just laughing because we were doing different stuff, and PFT was talking about it.

Speaker 1 And then we did something else for like an hour. And the second it ended, like before, I walked over and he was like, You know what I was thinking?

Speaker 1 And then he just started talking about the Nationals' prospects. And I was like, What? You know what I said? That's just sitting right there.

Speaker 1 I was sitting by myself, staring off into nowhere, and I was like, Luke Foyd's pretty good, right?

Speaker 1 Like, he's okay, he's a good player. So, yeah, yeah, you said that.
You said he was a seven. I was like, a seven? Yeah, and then you said,

Speaker 1 The Nationals, yeah, in the Nationals, which is perfect because it's it lines up right along with that scale of he's oh, he's a DC five, or he's a DC seven, but he's a New York five, right? Exactly.

Speaker 1 But I, here's, here's what could be worse, PFT.

Speaker 1 You could be the Cubs who didn't trade Wilson Contreras, and he's going to walk for a huge bag at the end of the year, and then the Cubs will be like, oh, we got a compensation pick.

Speaker 1 Compensatory pick.

Speaker 1 Compensatory pick. That's way worse.
They literally dangled this guy for an entire month. They won't give him an extension.
And now they don't trade him. And they look like idiots.

Speaker 1 And then they're going to be like, oh, we got an extra pick. That's way worse.
Juan Soto, like the Nationals doing something and getting that crazy value for him, I applaud them. I applaud them.

Speaker 1 And Juan Soto is, it's his fault for being too good. That's really what it is.
And Scott Boris. I'm going to blame Scott Boris too.
But that's why. I just need people to blame.

Speaker 1 I need just, give me somebody to point out and be like, I hate that guy. Well, that's, and that's why it's so funny because it's like Juan Soto was not going to sign with the Nationals.

Speaker 1 He's not going to sign with the Padres. If the Cubs are trading for him, he wouldn't have signed there.
He wouldn't have signed in St. Louis.
Why not the Padres? He's good.

Speaker 1 Because they're not going to be able to afford him. Like, they've got a lot of money.
They've had a lot of money guaranteed to Tatis. Fernando Tatis and Juan Soto are under 20.

Speaker 1 Both of them are 23 years old, I think.

Speaker 1 It's going to be the Dodgers. Didn't you see at the all-star game, weren't they chanting future Dodger? And he was like, yeah, that's me.
I'm a future Dodger.

Speaker 1 I mean, you're going to pay me $500 million.

Speaker 1 The reality of the situation is that in a couple of years' time, when he does become a free agent, he's going to get a contract that's far going to eclipse with the national.

Speaker 1 It's going to be $500 million. It's going to be the Dodgers of the Yankee.
He's going to get paid a shitload of money. So I guess good for him.
I mean, he deserves every penny. He's a great player.

Speaker 1 It's just sad when you see a player that, like, I had personally been telling myself,

Speaker 1 I don't get nice things usually as D.C. sports fans, but it's like I had just lied to myself and said, I'm going to turn 50 years old and I'm going to go to the game where Juan Soto retires as a gnat.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was nice. We were joking.
Like

Speaker 1 the Nationals obviously gave him, the fans gave him a standing ovation and being like, oh, man, we're going to miss you. He's 23.
He's 23.

Speaker 1 It was like a standing ovation that Albert Pujos is going to get. He's 23.
And that's legendary. It's crazy.

Speaker 1 There's never been a talent like him at his age who got traded mid-season.

Speaker 1 I don't know all the history of baseball. Tim Kirchin would be like, well, in 1922,

Speaker 1 I don't even know, like

Speaker 1 Bobby Railroad Jones got traded for some other guy, and it was huge. Like, he was only 21 years old.
This has never happened.

Speaker 1 There's never been an all-star at 23 at his caliber getting traded mid-season. Yep.

Speaker 1 At 23. Anything else about the trade deadline? Because

Speaker 1 I was going to say right as this was happening, NFL's king moment happened. Yeah, well, so we should mention a couple other teams.
The Twins are going for it.

Speaker 1 I like, there's teams, I just basically do the trade deadline if you're going for it or not. Twins are going for it.
Mariners going for it. Mariners are going for it.

Speaker 1 Astros already were going for it, but they're extra going for it. Yankees going for it.
Except for the Jordan Montgomery trade, that makes no sense. Jake, do you want to...
It makes no sense.

Speaker 1 The Yankees are going to now lose in the playoffs because they don't have starting pitching, and they traded Jordan Montgomery.

Speaker 4 Here's the thing: Stanton's on the aisle. Judge has injury passed.
Maybe it's just a little insurance in the outfield.

Speaker 1 I guess, but you need pitching. Yeah.
Well, they got to win and actually got the guy from the Cubs pitching right now, the reliever. Yes, but the problem was they.

Speaker 1 Oh, and he just gave up the shit. They just gave up.

Speaker 1 No. Fleece.
Jake. You got fleece.

Speaker 4 Saved by the warning track in the short report.

Speaker 1 I think they were trying to get someone from the Marlins, right?

Speaker 4 Yeah, Pablo Lopez.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but they fell through. Yeah.
They got a closer, right? They got Lou Trevino.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah. They got the guys from the A's.

Speaker 1 And I think I just saw that name come across the screen. I was like, that's just a perfect name for a Yankees closer.
That's what I'm going to hate.

Speaker 4 Well, they're going to have Trevino pitching through Trevino.

Speaker 1 I know. Wow, wow.
Wow. That is wild.
You think they're related?

Speaker 4 No, because

Speaker 4 you have the NYA. Yeah, but

Speaker 1 maybe Trevino got his name changed at Ellis Island. Yeah.
Ever think about that?

Speaker 1 Sure.

Speaker 4 They also got Frankie Montas.

Speaker 1 Yeah, who got them?

Speaker 4 The Yankees got the Yankees pitchers.

Speaker 1 And then the Padres are obviously going for it.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to think.

Speaker 4 The Philly's got Noah Syndergaard.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the Philly's. That could be interesting.

Speaker 1 It kind of stinks now, though.

Speaker 4 Still Noah Syndergaard.

Speaker 1 The Mets are not doing anything. They got DeGrom back.
They signed DeGrom today. Right.
They signed Jacob DeGrom, and then the Mets offense immediately disappeared.

Speaker 1 It's got to drive him absolutely insane. The Orioles did a classic Orioles thing, I hate that, which is traded their dude players and issued a statement.

Speaker 1 Maybe one of the best all-time loser franchise statements, just being like, you know what? After running the math, we decided that we were probably not going to get the wild card this year. I hate it.

Speaker 1 We're going to get rid of it. And then

Speaker 1 they trade for an outfielder today. Yeah.
No, I hate that. Which made no sense because when they're giving up their players that they did yesterday.
They've got a good, I forget the guy's name.

Speaker 1 The kid's name, he's a... Edley Rushman? He's an outfielder in their farm system that they were really looking forward to bringing up.

Speaker 1 And they're like, oh, well, this creates a spot for him to come up to the big leagues and get some reps in. But then they just traded for a guy that plays his position.
I hate them. I hate them.

Speaker 1 I was so excited about my bet. I was going to get into the Orioles.
I was going to tweet Birdland and all that shit.

Speaker 1 And then they just, they're like, yeah, we're only, we're two and a half games out of the wild card game. We're folding.

Speaker 1 And it's just stupid. Hate them.
Why play the game? Dead to me. Dead to me.
Why play the games? Why?

Speaker 1 That's a great loser franchise thing to do to tell all your your players that are young and promising that they're fucking losers. That's what you did.
That's what you did.

Speaker 1 Anyone else going for it? I think the Cardinals made some moves. They're going for it.
They're always fucking going for it.

Speaker 4 So the Yankees got Bader, who's on the IL, but they're expecting him to return for the season. They let go of Joey Gallo.
I don't know if you guys saw the quotes.

Speaker 4 Did you see the quotes? No.

Speaker 1 That's super depressing. Oh, yeah.
Oh, the story that was written about him last week. Yeah, where he's like, that I don't go in the streets.

Speaker 1 He's like, every day for the rest of my life, I'm going to realize I failed for the Yankees. He's like, whoa.
Okay, Joey.

Speaker 4 So it was heavy.

Speaker 1 It's like, I think you could probably walk in Manhattan without people. Like, it's Manhattan.
I would not know Joey Gale. No, but bumped his head.

Speaker 1 He said he doesn't leave his apartment. Honestly, just take your hat off and you'll be fine.

Speaker 1 Don't wear a Yankees hat. He's wearing his full uniform.
Don't wear people keep yelling at me. Don't wear any walk-by top stripes on it.

Speaker 1 Like if you're wearing a suit, make sure that it's a pattern color. Yes.
And you're good.

Speaker 4 He said,

Speaker 4 well, they asked,

Speaker 4 have you been living in Manhattan? Yeah. What's it it been like for you when the Yankees fans notice you on the streets? Are they rough on you away from the ballpark too?

Speaker 4 I don't go out on the streets. In the streets.
That's sad. Yeah, I really don't want to show my face too much around you.

Speaker 1 I think he's mistaking being himself for just like living in New York. Yeah.
Like that's generally true for everyone. This guy honked at me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and like I was walking on the sidewalk and this guy was like, you motherfucker. Yeah, this guy bumped into me.
And then they tried to give me a someone tried to give me a free CD.

Speaker 1 He's like, this homeless guy. He's fucking terrible here.
This homeless guy spit on me on the train.

Speaker 4 Yeah, Yeah, so it's unfortunate, but

Speaker 4 New York fans are New York fans.

Speaker 1 You can say it. They're so true.

Speaker 1 Also, we should mention the Reds did a good job of getting rid of guys, which, like, they were.

Speaker 1 That actually drives me more crazy. Like, teams, the Mets are good.
Yeah, you probably, if you're a Mets fan, you're pissed that they didn't do anything.

Speaker 1 But like I said, like, the Cubs have no excuse for not trading Wilson

Speaker 1 Contreras after not giving him an extension. Like, either give him an extension or trade him.
Don't let him just walk. Yeah.
That's way worse.

Speaker 1 So the Reds traded a bunch of guys and they got a bunch of prospects. That's fun.
You get some prospects.

Speaker 1 You get to look at them. I need to know if we're okay with not hating the Astros anymore.
Or do we still hate them?

Speaker 4 Trey Mancini makes them a lot more likely.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like it's tough now.
I think

Speaker 1 I'll never get over them not getting the proper

Speaker 1 post.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like

Speaker 1 they never got the hate that they deserved because of COVID. COVID robbed them.
And I don't know that I'll get over that until all the players are on the team. I feel like El Tuve

Speaker 1 being there forever. Like, as long as El Tuve is there, it's like, yeah, you guys did that.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's just going to be it.

Speaker 1 Okay, yeah, let's talk some NFL. And there's people,

Speaker 1 there's like the Astros fans that are trying to, you know, whitewash everything on Twitter. It's like, he didn't cheat.
He didn't cheat. There was no cheating.
It's like, he hit a buzzer. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We saw it. Yeah.
And he said, what did he say? He didn't take his shirt off. Yeah, because his wife didn't like it when his shirt was taken off.
They didn't want other people to see his his nipples.

Speaker 1 Yeah. An athlete doesn't want his shirt off.

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Speaker 1 All right, NFL.

Speaker 1 We should start. I mean, we should probably go in chronological order.
Deshaun Watson, six-game suspension. People are upset.
There's a lot of people.

Speaker 1 Actually, I don't know. Let me ask you this, PFT.
Do you think the majority of people that are upset, do you think they realize that this was not Roger Goodell's decision?

Speaker 1 I think the majority of people are upset just because

Speaker 1 they need to be upset about this. Right.

Speaker 1 No matter what was issued, it's still like...

Speaker 1 Oh, well, he's a scumbag.

Speaker 1 Sometimes people mistake the NFL for an actual branch of law enforcement, which Roger Goodell used to think that he was a cop. Yeah, probably.

Speaker 1 He still kind of does.

Speaker 1 But he did something very smart in the last CBA, which was he said, I'm not going to be the judge. I'm not going to be the jury until the judge makes their official statement.

Speaker 1 And then if I don't like that, then it's like, here comes the judge, Roger Goodell. I'm back.

Speaker 1 Then who's the bad guy walks in and he gets to do it? So they have three days, I think, till Thursday, to appeal this.

Speaker 1 But I do, like, the initial reaction, a lot of people were like, oh, Tom Brady got this, or Ray Rice got, like, Roger Goodell, what is he doing? He had nothing to do with this decision. Right.

Speaker 1 He actually, the league recommended a year to indefinite. They wanted a year to an indefinite suspension.
It was only six. The other part,

Speaker 1 I mean, I will say, and I'm sure we might have some Browns fans upset, but I will go one more than scumbag. I think Deshaun Watson is a predator and he's a bad guy.

Speaker 1 But the problem with how this all shook out is he settled with a lot of the women. And then I think I saw it was like 24, there was 24 cases that Sue Robinson was able to review.

Speaker 1 And then there was four testimonies that she got. So she only got four.
Four women were only able to testify for whatever different reasons.

Speaker 1 So she basically got whittled through Deshaun Watson paying people off and other things happening to only four people. And she made her judgment.

Speaker 1 I don't think, I think it probably should have been more, but I also don't understand a lot of this.

Speaker 1 So there's a couple things that I read.

Speaker 1 She called his behavior predatory and egregious. And if she said anything,

Speaker 1 which it was, it was predatory. That's what she said.
Those are her words. And she's like, six games.
If somebody's actually a predator, six games does seem a little light.

Speaker 1 Now, if you were to ask O.J. Simpson and nobody did, but OJ decided to weigh on it.
Well, it was actually a very classy statement. OJ said, what's up, Twitter World?

Speaker 1 First of all, I want to remember a late, great great champion, Bill Russell, and his great career. And also, Deshaun Watson is getting suspended.
So he very nicely segued into that.

Speaker 1 O.J. Simpson waited.
O.J. Simpson should be the guy that Roger Goodell says, like, you're the one that's.
You're the arbiter, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're the judge, the jury, and I guess he's got life experience. Yeah, no.

Speaker 1 Was he for or against it?

Speaker 1 Billy.

Speaker 1 O.J. Simpson didn't even give Deshaun Watson the benefit of the doubt of innocence.
Well, I mean, if you've read the testimonies, I would say that's fair to not give him the benefit of the

Speaker 1 best of innocence anymore. If he did it, then he should be in the middle of the morning.
This is how he would have, and then he took off his pants. Yeah, so

Speaker 1 the other thing that I saw in the report was there's a provision that he's only allowed to use team masseuses, team-issued masseuses, for the rest of his career. So that's probably,

Speaker 1 why not know massage?

Speaker 1 If you have to be told that you're only allowed to use like state-sanctioned masseuse, if you have a masseuse problem to the point where your masseuse use is being monitored, you probably should not be trusted to be playing football on a football table.

Speaker 1 Also, they should have just said, You get a massage chair, yeah, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 You get a massage chair, you don't get a hand, you don't get a person, you get a massage chair, yeah, or just do it yourself, get a get a leg roller.

Speaker 1 So, I think people are upset too, and rightfully so, and this is the cynical side of the world, and we all know this.

Speaker 1 If you watch the NFL, if you watch pro sports, the Browns made a bet that this was going to be around what they

Speaker 1 suspended Deshaun Watson for, and their bet paid off. Like the Browns, you know,

Speaker 1 it's very fucked up to say, but the Browns have to be happy because they traded a lot for Deshaun Watson, who they want to be their franchise quarterback, hoping that he would be suspended for less than half a season, and that's what happened.

Speaker 1 Also, NFL rigged the first six games that they have are the easiest schedule in the league. Yeah, we mentioned that, remember, we mentioned that on the schedule release? Yeah.

Speaker 1 That people were saying, look at this, they're setting it up. I wonder if there's going to be something in the suspension.
You remember when Big Ben had that happen to him? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And they gave him eight games, and they said, as long as you promise not to commit any more sexual assaults until the NFL season, then I'll reduce it until four.

Speaker 1 And so they halved his suspension at the last minute because of good behavior. I don't think they're going to have this.
Probably not.

Speaker 1 It sounds to me like what Goodell was trying to do was he went heavy-handed with what he recommended, knowing that the judge would go underneath it. He would look good.

Speaker 1 And then if he disagreed with what the judge said, then he could argue for it to be increased to eight. Right.

Speaker 1 That's to me the mistake. And you also knew that

Speaker 1 Deshaun Watson was going to be fine with it when the NFL PA, I think, released a statement saying we're not going to appeal. It's like, no, duh.
Six games. And what does Deshaun Watson lose?

Speaker 1 Like, nothing, money-wise? Yeah, he loses, I think, $300,000.

Speaker 1 $350,000. That's insane.
I mean, that's what I'm saying, though.

Speaker 1 That's the cynical side that the Browns basically set this up where they gave him all this guaranteed money and they knew that, like, okay, you're going to be suspended.

Speaker 1 It probably won't be a year, but we'll be okay. Let me save you because I've seen a bunch of Browns fans get really pissed off about that.

Speaker 1 Apparently, the Browns do that with every contract that they put out there so that they can push the CAP ramifications off to the back side of the career. So, $250 million to everyone.

Speaker 1 So, $250 million to everyone guaranteed. Now, yeah, the size of the contract is much different than everybody else, but that's like a standard practice they do.

Speaker 1 It just so happens that it really worked out. It worked out.
Yeah. And I mean, I'm not going to, you can't, I'm not going to sit here and be like, Browns fans, how dare you? Because it's fucking NFL.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying that the Browns made a cynical bet, it worked out. Yes.
And people have a right to be upset. Yeah, I mean, personally, like, I don't know.

Speaker 1 It doesn't really enter into my brain when I see somebody that's accused of sexually assaulting credibly,

Speaker 1 you know, over 20 people to figure out, like, oh, well, what does that translate into how many football games I think he should.

Speaker 1 I think the problem is, like, a little bit bigger than that. Yeah, it's like, okay, so a person is a quarter.
Yes. That's what, like, yeah, you don't think like that.
No one should think like that.

Speaker 1 That was the Manzelmath, wasn't it? Yeah. Yeah, you shouldn't, it shouldn't enter your brain.
So, yeah, it's a, I don't know what's what's like the reaction to be when he comes back.

Speaker 1 I mean, I'm sure the Browns fans will

Speaker 1 when he wins, winning cures all. Yeah, Browns fans love him.
I know that in about five years, there will be a big feature on Monday Night Football about the redemption of Deshaun Watson.

Speaker 1 He hasn't jacked off into a woman in

Speaker 1 almost six years now. Yeah.
And so they'll break out the slow piano. It'll be like right before a dreary NFL Sunday, and everybody will just move on.
That's kind of sadly how it all works.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he hasn't threatened any

Speaker 1 woman's business saying, I'll ruin your life or anything like that in at least a month. Yeah.
So

Speaker 1 you got to give people the benefit of the doubt, but Deshaun Watson did some of that shit. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
So, yeah, I guess we'll see what happens if Roger. I think it'll happen tomorrow because they're not going to want to do it on the Hall of Fame game night.

Speaker 1 So this is where Florio really shines. Today was a great day to be Mike Florio.

Speaker 1 Oh, because if there's nothing that has to do with like legal ramifications, Florio starts firing off the takes, and that's when he gets to be a problem.

Speaker 1 But he gets to deal with like legal stuff and contract issues today.

Speaker 1 So, he was saying that there's a chance that the league could, I forget the exact word, but it's basically like appealing the appeal, which could push it back as many as two weeks.

Speaker 1 And they probably don't want it to be on the same day as the Hall of Fame game. No, they're going to appeal the appeal until Labor Day.
Yeah. And then appeal the appeal

Speaker 1 before Labor Day week. Exactly.
That's genius. Roger Goodell does it again.
Hank,

Speaker 1 are you, now that we've laid everything out,

Speaker 1 are you mad about the Brady suspension? Because that was, I did see a lot of people being like Brady four games, Deshaun Watson. I mean,

Speaker 1 I didn't know what you were saying in the beginning about the CBA. That obviously happened after the Brady suspension.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 If that was put in court, then Roger Goodell would be in judgment. Yes, Roger Goodell used to decide the suspensions.
This is the first time he hasn't. So that's where it's a little confusing.

Speaker 1 I would have loved to have seen that case get played out in front of a judge. Would have gone a lot different, probably.
Yeah. Yeah.
Billy, you have an inquisitive look at the business.

Speaker 1 Billy looks like the dog. He's about to say something really, really.

Speaker 1 The garage door just opened for Billy, the dog. Do you think Calvin Ridley was before that CBA decision was made? Calvin Ridley, I don't know.
After.

Speaker 1 I think it was after, but I also think Calvin Ridley, that's like an open control. It's a contract violation.
Yeah, like gambling is just,

Speaker 1 it was just basically, you gambled, you're out. Which is also, that is hypocritical in a whole different realm.

Speaker 1 And I agree, free Calvin Ridley. I'm for that.

Speaker 1 I do think it's a lot easier to do that internal math where you're like, oh, he gambled on a football game. How many football games should he miss?

Speaker 1 But when you hold it up like apples to apples,

Speaker 1 was it 17 games now for gambling on a, for putting in a $500 parlay and then with Deshaun Watson? It didn't even win. $1,500.

Speaker 1 It doesn't add up.

Speaker 1 There are a bunch of people that think that they're being very, very smart online, being like, well, you know, like Aaron Hernandez never got suspended. That's just really just me.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, there's, it's, again, to sum it up, I think Deshaun Watson is a predator. I don't think Browns fans should have to apologize for what their team does.

Speaker 1 Like, that's not, that's just, that's, if we had to do that as sports fans, we'd just be apologizing left and right. And yeah, nobody would even have a team to root for.

Speaker 1 Right, it's because guess what? Humans, yeah, they fuck up sometimes. It's pretty bad.
Yeah, pretty shitty. There are shitty people everywhere.
All right, so the Dolphins,

Speaker 1 on a lighter note, they got a first-round draft pick taken away, second-round draft pick taken away,

Speaker 1 third-round draft pick taken away for tampering with Tom Brady multiple times and Sean Payton. That one was like a duo because it was Don Yee, I think represents Sean Payton and Tom Brady.

Speaker 1 And Steven Ross got suspended till October 17th, which is always hilarious when an owner gets suspended. It's like, oh, so what is he going to do? Probably take his yacht to fucking Italy.

Speaker 1 I I don't know. Yeah, he just can't be in the stadium for the games, right? So he gets to watch TV at home.
Yeah, you know, he's going to go on vacation.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's going to go on vacation. He's going to go on a great vacation and watch the TV, watch the Dolphins afterwards.

Speaker 4 Jake, next man or woman up, Fergie, Mark Anthony, and the Williams sisters are also.

Speaker 1 Ooh, I vote Fergie. I'm voting for Fergie.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, Serena. Serena, yeah.
Yeah, not Venus, just Serena.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 Jake, what do you think about this? I will say quickly that I did say on these airways that I didn't think that the tampering was happening, and I was proven wrong today. Oh, yeah, though.

Speaker 1 You said that it was me and Florio making it up. Yeah, that was that

Speaker 1 fell under the PFT fan fiction. Hank, would you like to apologize to me? I would like to apologize to everyone, all the listeners, for saying that I didn't believe that I was wrong.

Speaker 1 I still don't. And do PFT.
Thank you, Hank. Tampering to me still, I'd never.

Speaker 1 When people get accused of tampering in pro sports leagues, I'm like, wait, so they're just talking like every profession talks? Yeah, that's why Belichick tampered with Flores. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I'm going to say, Hank, a nice thing about you. Like, take a bow, Bill Belichick.

Speaker 1 This was your masterpiece. Yes.

Speaker 1 By implicating the Dolphins in doing some backyard stuff along with the Giants, it sounds like that's what triggered the entire thing to happen with Flores suing the NFL. They did an investigation.

Speaker 1 They found that, yes. Belichick did get fucked over by the Dolphins.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 No throwing games.

Speaker 1 They did rule that. Well, no, they said it was just a joke.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But it's no disparity law. They're not giving him $100,000 to throw games, but he was kind of just playing.
Yeah, but

Speaker 1 Brian Flores just didn't listen. If he had listened and that came out today, he would be ruined.

Speaker 1 He did the right thing by not listening. I don't think it was a joke.
By not throwing the games. Yeah, no, no, I agree.
I don't think it was a joke. I'm saying what the NFL ruled.

Speaker 1 The NFL did not take away any picks for that allegation. They took it away for the Brady and the Sean Payton.

Speaker 1 So it also gets interesting because they were also tampering with Sean Payton as recently as this year before he resigned as Coach of the Saints. And then he resigns as Coach of the Saints.

Speaker 1 And then the Brian Flores stuff comes out. And then the Dolphins realize, oh shit, yeah, we can't just hire Sean Payton now.
Right. We got to go in a different direction.

Speaker 1 And so then Sean Payton is just like, wait, I just quit my job. Right.
And so I was coming to Miami. Yeah.
So

Speaker 1 my worry: Sean Payton was like, oh, you have a quarterback who can't throw it more than 10 yards down the field, I'm in. I have a little bit of an expertise with this.
My theory. I'm in chewing on.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry. That was a joke.
My theory was that Sean Payton and Tom Brady were going to...

Speaker 1 It was always the plan for them to unite in Miami, that Tom Brady would then get a piece of the Miami Dolphins.

Speaker 1 He'd become a part owner in the franchise, the first ever owner player, and then that all just blew up in his face. And so he said, okay, I'll just play for the Bucs.
That's also Florida. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then the weird stuff with his retirement this offseason, I think was also

Speaker 1 directly connected with all the investigations going on behind the scenes with the Dolphins. Correct.
The whole thing. It's like you said, a beautiful day to be Mike Florio.

Speaker 1 He probably hasn't taken a piss today. He's probably just been at his laptop blogging away all day.
I think he's been pissing, but he's dyped up. This is his favorite thing.

Speaker 1 This is like when we get to watch, like, if the doubleheader Monday night football, that's like the most exciting thing when we get two Monday Night Football games.

Speaker 1 Mike Florio gets just legal rulings left and right, and that's hit. That's his real NFL.
What? Double header. Yeah, they did.
They took away last year. Yeah, yeah.
Damn. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you remember when Mike and Mike and Mike did it? Yeah. That was great.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah. That was great.
And the Sergio Dip game.

Speaker 1 There was a lot of, and the punt was blocked game. Yeah.
A lot of memories we have with those double headers. Things always got weird.
Yeah, the late night game always got weird. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But yeah, big day in rulings by the NFL.

Speaker 4 So the Dolphins still do have the 49ers first-round picks. That's a lot of first-round pick, but there's a lot more pressure on Tua now.

Speaker 4 Because if this doesn't work out, if he has a bad year, they're not going to have a top pick unless the Niners think too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Would you like to disavow the Dolphins for tampering? You pro-tampering? Again, I don't understand.
Tampering to me is always like the dumbest. They're like, oh,

Speaker 1 I will say you got to respect like...

Speaker 1 Let's get Tom Brady and Sean Payton in here. Right.
It didn't work out. Talk about going for it.
Like, they went for it. And also, I do respect that in some way.

Speaker 1 Steven Ross is like the biggest donor to to Michigan. He's a huge Michigan guy.

Speaker 1 So part of me thinks, was this even tampering or was just Steven Ross being like, hey, Tom, wouldn't it be fucking awesome? We could watch Michigan games on Saturday, then you could play on Sunday.

Speaker 1 Also, I read something that the other 31 other owners would have had to approve Brady

Speaker 1 being

Speaker 1 a part owner. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. So like...
They might have done that. I feel like we'd have to have shotguns.

Speaker 1 Well, it would have raised the collective

Speaker 1 attractiveness level of all the owners, right? Like the owners are, what, probably like a 3-5 if you combine them all together.

Speaker 1 Someone do a face mash of every owner.

Speaker 1 I think they would have said absolutely not to Tom Brady because then that opens the door for like, okay, any other star player. Yeah, they could.
They're going to ask for an ownership stake.

Speaker 1 No, but they could do that eye roll for it.

Speaker 1 Around the salary.

Speaker 1 There's not

Speaker 1 any other star player.

Speaker 1 They could get around the salary cap, though. It's right.
Like, they could be like, oh, we'll give you part of the team and not pay you as much.

Speaker 1 Now, there's a continuing development that comes out of this because there's an owners' meeting taking place, I think, next week. Minnesota.

Speaker 1 Not for Jeffrey ross not for not for tom brady no or stephen ross sorry uh jeffrey ross comedian that'd be weird yeah that would actually be great to have him as owner just get he should stand in place you'd be like stephen ross should be like my brother jeff are they related no that's wild uh but at this uh meeting that they're gonna have up in minnesota Rod McDell is expected to read Owners the Riot Act when it comes to tampering.

Speaker 1 Now, that's a direct quote. They're going to be freedom.
The Riot Act will be read. But you bring up a good point, which is like,

Speaker 1 where does just like having a conversation stop and tampering start?

Speaker 1 Isn't there something called freedom of speech in this country? Yep.

Speaker 1 You're just having a conversation, and it happens to be that Tom Brady's in the room with you, and you're talking about employing him.

Speaker 1 Could you, in theory, bring him in the same room and like talk to a plant? Yeah. That's not Tom Brady.
Code words. And be like, man, if Tom Brady was in this room, I would offer him 5% in this team.

Speaker 1 Right. Right.
You just call him up and you'll be like, hey, Tom, how's it going? How's it going up in New England? Like, hey, warm weather down here.

Speaker 1 It would be real nice if you were on a boat, a real big boat, with a lot of money. You know what? Because boats are expensive.
That's what I'm talking about.

Speaker 1 The more I think about this, the more I'm pissed off at Dan Snyder for not tampering with Tom Brady. So I'm saying everyone should tamper in the NFL.
Why not? Fucking go for it.

Speaker 1 If you're not tampering, you're not trying. Have players change teams like week to week.
Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
I imagine Roger Goodell giving the riot act. Like,

Speaker 1 he's got to really pump himself up in the mirror beforehand and be like, don't let Jerry Jones is probably going to heckle you.

Speaker 1 Don't, don't don't don't cry this time you're gonna be fine i actually think his speech is probably gonna be written by jerry jones yeah that's

Speaker 1 not and then he's gonna pat him on the head and be like thanks so much rod go get me a coffee uh go get me a shoe to come in i'd like that um all right should we do hot sea cool throne Should we do hot sea cool throne?

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Speaker 1 Hank, your hot seat cool throne.

Speaker 1 Go for it.

Speaker 1 Hank.

Speaker 1 Sorry, my hot seat is Jeannie Buss. Oh, yeah, she got hot.
She lost a huge bet. What happened? Yeah.
She lost a huge bet, or one of her teams lost. She got hacked, the PS5 pack.

Speaker 1 A lot of people are getting it right now.

Speaker 1 She got hacked. She sent out a picture of, I mean, I think it was the exact time.
Oh, yeah, no, it is. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like, hey, friends, got a great deal. Giving away these three PlayStations.
If you win, you get to go to a Lakers game. It must be impossible to actually give away a PS5 on Twitter.

Speaker 1 It's so funny when people, when I, ever I tweet that and people are like, I can't DM you. Open your DMs.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so that's what Big Cat tweets that exact tweet when he loses or, you know, spoiler inside baseball.

Speaker 1 When he loses Big Better. No, that's, no, I got hacked.

Speaker 1 But so I saw it in the timeline. I was like, I was like, what big bet did Big Cat lose? I was like, oh, this is Genie Buss.
The exact same tweet.

Speaker 1 And then she had to tweet from the Lakers personal team account and said, Lakers fan, my Twitter account has been hacked. Please do not engage with or send any money.
These are not legitimate offers.

Speaker 1 The Lakers will alert you when I'm back in control of my account, Genie Buss.

Speaker 1 Wouldn't it be great if Genie Buss was like, let me just do this, and then maybe we can get like a Russell Westbrook buyout? We'll get enough money.

Speaker 1 And then we can raise it. Yeah, trade for Kyrie.
The luxury tax is not a problem anymore. And it always makes you wonder because obviously like the phishing scam.
And it's like, what did she click?

Speaker 1 Yeah. What did someone send her that was like very obvious? Like the $100 gift card or, you know.

Speaker 1 I get a lot where it's like, your Amazon's been logged in. That's been happening to me all the time.
But it's from such a random number that it's so obvious. It's like your Amazon has been

Speaker 1 compromised. And then I just log on to Amazon.
It's like, nope, everything's fine. Yeah, but it's like, click this, like, but it's from

Speaker 1 a formula. Always check and see the address that the email is sent from because it's usually like amma.z0 in at china.edu or whatever.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But yeah, tough day at the office for Jeannie Bush.
Owners are just like us. And then

Speaker 1 governors, sorry. My cool throne is lambs.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Gordon Ramsey Ramsey made a TikTok posting a video where he was like at a farm selecting a lamb and he was like rubbing his hands together, going yummy, like, like, we're going to slaughter this and make, and then he got a ton of backlash, and people were trying to cancel him.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. Why?

Speaker 1 They didn't know where lambs came from. Right.
They thought lambs grew on trees. Right.
So lambs are good. Apparently, like, killing lambs for food is delicious.
It's cancelable. No, it's delicious.

Speaker 1 I get my lamb from a restaurant. Yeah.
Right. I don't get it from like a lamb.

Speaker 1 Some guy cooks me lamb and I I eat it. My lamb is totally different.

Speaker 1 My lamb was never alive. That's the thing.
I have cruelty-free lamb.

Speaker 1 Right. So, yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Lambs are on the cool throne. They're not, you know.
I love when that shit is good. It's like, where the fuck do you think your food comes from?

Speaker 1 It's like, how dairy? This is alive. It's like he's a chef.
I'd imagine people are like eating McDonald's while they're watching that and be like, what the fuck? Like the expression fresh meat. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Means that it just died. He should.
Gordon Ramsey should have strangled

Speaker 1 the lamb right in front of everyone. And then it would have been delicious.
He should. Bruvsher.
Brov sure.

Speaker 1 Brov sure. Yeah, very good.
Brov sure. Nice.
Nice. The first one wasn't good enough.
Now we got the Brov sure. I liked it.
Because he's English. No, I know.
I know. I know.

Speaker 1 No, I know. Yeah, it was a good joke.
I like that. It was good, Billy.
Everybody, let's stop. I appreciate Billy's joke.

Speaker 1 He's going to stop the show.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 cool with our own lambs. They're good.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, do it. Actually, I disagree.
I don't really like lamb that much. Oh, a good lamb chop is very good.
Yeah. Very, very good.

Speaker 1 I'd rather pork chop than lamb chop. Agreed.
I like both. Why not both?

Speaker 1 I'm not either or either. Yeah, I'm not opposed to either.
Yeah. Sometimes good lamb chop, little mint jelly.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the mint jelly

Speaker 1 does, it kicks it up a notch. Let's kill some more lambs.
Is that okay? Yeah. I have one more quirk one.
Antonio Brown is trying to start a rap career. His songs are not good.

Speaker 1 What do you mean, trying to? Well, he is

Speaker 1 from the Pit, not the palace. Right.
No, he is rapping and he's doing festivals. He was at Rolling Loud performing, and he did a dance, and that dance is going viral.

Speaker 1 So he is getting some traction now as an entertainer nice what's his dance like it's weird as fuck

Speaker 1 how would you do it do it do it for us do the dance do it billy like he just it's kind of like shaking it's kind of like the wobble but you shake your arms more okay let's see it's so

Speaker 1 it's like it looks like

Speaker 1 it's like pretending to be a porpoise but without slapping your hands

Speaker 1 It's

Speaker 1 wait porpoises.

Speaker 1 First of all, porpoises don't have hands. Second of of all, they can't clap their foot.

Speaker 1 It's like the weirdest dance ever. It's ridiculous.
It is a weird dance, but it's kind of catchy and it's catching on. It's becoming, you know,

Speaker 1 and now it's like everyone's doing it now. Remember the Bernie? Right.
That shit right there. It kind of looks like that.
Yeah. Remember the Dougie? Yeah.

Speaker 1 So it's like, I see that, and it's like, you know, good for A-B's. You know, that's what you need to get your rap career off the ground.

Speaker 1 Lamar Jackson says he's going to do it this season if he scores. Oh, okay.
Nice. That's him just saying, I want Antonio Brown on my team because I have no wide receivers.
And I like that, too.

Speaker 1 That's tampering.

Speaker 1 If I've learned anything from this show, PFT, your hot seat cool drum. My hot seat is the Las Vegas Raiders because we've got the Hall of Fame game coming up on Thursday night.
And

Speaker 1 guess who's not starting? Trevor Lawrence. They're holding him out.
You know what that means. Second half, Kyle Sloeder.
Oh, nice. Our guy, Kyle Sloeder.

Speaker 1 He excelled in the USFL. I told you guys to watch him.
I'm pretty sure he got the MVP. Who cares? But he played really well in the USFL.
And the preseason is absolute when Kyle Sloater shines.

Speaker 1 So what I'm saying is take the over for the Jacksonville Jaguars in this game. Why not just the Jags? Yeah, take the Jags.
Yeah. Because it's Sloater.
We're betting on Sloater right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, take the Jags. That way,

Speaker 1 he might not get a touchdown, but he'll move the ball to at least a field goal. He deserves a shot, and I'm happy to see my guy get a shot.
I'm going to be rooting for him. Sloaterhouse is back.

Speaker 1 All-in hot seat Raiders. My cool throne is Morbius.
Isn't that the name of that movie? Yeah, Morbin.

Speaker 1 Morbin has always been. We've never stopped Morbin.
Morbin.

Speaker 1 Well, they're on the Cool Throne because there's a new movie that's taking over, maybe perhaps the worst movie of all time, from Morbius. Batgirl.

Speaker 1 So Batgirl, they spent $90 million on it.

Speaker 1 And they said, you know what? This thing stinks so bad, we're not even going to put it out in theaters. We're not going to release it.
I don't know. But it was like one of those DC movies.

Speaker 1 Hank, do you know? No, I'm not going to say it because because I don't think it's right. Sorry, Cromwell, maybe.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 they've been working really hard on this movie. Like, 90 million is.
Nope, just kidding. She's Catwoman.
Who's Batgirl? Classic mistake. Yeah, that is a classic mistake.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But they said it's so bad that we're not even going to finish the movie. It's not going to come out.
Yeah, I mean, Batgirl was.

Speaker 1 Who wants... What's Batgirl? Nobody really wants Batman.
It's Catwoman. It's Catwoman.
That's Catwoman. This is Batgirl.
Right, but this is Batgirl. That's what I'm saying.
But what is Batgirl?

Speaker 1 Right, that's what I'm saying. Batgirl doesn't exist.
Batgirl, but Batgirl. There's Catwoman.
I think there's a Batgirl, but I don't know what that is. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 No, what PFT is saying is all true. No, no, no.
No, I know what he's saying is true. Hold on.
Nobody cares about that. Batgirls cares about Batgirl.
Batgirl exists, but Batgirl doesn't exist. Right.

Speaker 1 Like, there is no Batgirl. Nobody cares about Batgirl.
But I also think, like, maybe what? You know, they had JK Sims in here. Michael Keaton.
Yeah. That's right.
Brendan Frasier? Oh, yeah. Oh, damn.

Speaker 1 They'll all legend. It's keeping him out.

Speaker 1 What is Batgirl? I don't know, but like 90%. You know what happened?

Speaker 1 Because I had not ever heard of Batgirl before. I hadn't even heard of this movie.
This movie.

Speaker 1 But when they announced that it wasn't going to come out because it's so bad, I was like, I have to see Batgirl.

Speaker 1 So they should release Batgirl, and then everybody should promise to go see it in theaters like we did with Morbius. Leslie Grace is Batgirl.
Oh.

Speaker 1 All right, so I guess Batgirl existed since 1961. No one was Batgirl.
What the fuck? Yeah, with Connix. There's a bajillion, like, you know.
Bat Boy, National Enquirer.

Speaker 1 Yeah. very true.
That's true. That is true.

Speaker 1 But it did make me want to go see this movie when they said it's like so bad that we're not going to put it out. Oh, shit.
I want to see what that looks like. Oh, so Bat Girl, get this.

Speaker 1 Following the accusations of a homoerotic subtext in the depiction of the relationship between Batman and Robin, as described in Frederick Wertham's book, Seduction of the Innocent, Batgirl was created, or Batwoman, and then Bat Girl was created.

Speaker 1 So basically, everyone was like, yo, are Batman and Robin gay? Like, no, there's Batgirl.

Speaker 1 Wait, but is Batgirl, is she a lesbian? No, but they like, you're just like, no, here's Batgirl or Batwoman. That's Batman's girlfriend.
Yeah, his wife. They're both Batman.
It's a beard. Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is crazy. Mrs.
Batman. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Holy shit. Yeah.
So, yeah, it started as Batwoman and then became Batgirl as the niece. Batgirl is the niece of a Robin-like sidekick to Batwoman.
What the fuck? Wait. Batgirl

Speaker 1 is the niece of Robin?

Speaker 1 No, niece of Batwoman. Batwoman.
So that's not even. Who's Batwoman? How are you Batgirl when you're not Batwoman?

Speaker 1 Is Batwoman married to Batman? No, hold on. How are you the fucking daughter?

Speaker 1 How are you not the daughter of Batwoman?

Speaker 1 Are we going to talk about Catwoman? No, Batwoman is also. Batwoman

Speaker 1 who was introduced to be like Robin and Batman are not gay.

Speaker 1 That's pretty much what happened. And then Batgirl is

Speaker 1 straight as fuck, he actually found the only other woman on the planet that's a bat that is a bat, also a bat, yeah, and they fuck.

Speaker 1 Holy shit, but they don't fuck so much because there's also Bat Girl who's not related to that woman. All right, so Batwoman was

Speaker 1 who's Bat Girl's dad. Oh, I'm gonna

Speaker 1 read, I'm gonna read this. No, that's important.
I know, I know, I know, I'm gonna read it. So, so, following the accusation of Homer Arc subtext, Batwoman was created in 1961.

Speaker 1 DC Comics introduced a second female character as a love interest for Robin. So, there's Robin's beard.
Wait, but why is is Robin fucking Batgirl? Like Robin used to be fucking Catwoman. Robin chick.

Speaker 1 Robin with a Y. There you go.
Perfect. So Betty Kane is Batgirl arrived as the niece of Robin-like sidekick to Batwoman, first appearing in Batman.

Speaker 1 The creation of the Batman family, which included Batman and Batwoman. Oh, so they were married.
Oh, this is fucked up now. So

Speaker 1 Batman and Batwoman were married, and then Robin and Batgirl were fucking.

Speaker 1 Were they fucking or were they also married? No, Batman and Batwoman were depicted as the parents, and Robin and Batgirl depicted as their children. But then, Bat that makes no sense.

Speaker 1 How does a bird fuck a bat? Wait, Robin and Batgirl are supposed to be siblings, and they're fucking. So they're like, oh, they're not gay, they're just incestuous.

Speaker 1 Wait, when did this come out in 1966? 61, yes. So, yeah, I mean, everybody was

Speaker 1 cousins back then.

Speaker 1 The ex the all right, wait, hold on. Robin and Batgirl depicted as their children.
The extraterrestrial imp Bat Mite and the family pet Ace the Bat Hound caused the Batman.

Speaker 1 Wait, their dog was a Batman? Why did they have to make the dog a bat? It's just a dog. The dog is a dog.
Did they make it wear a mask?

Speaker 1 Ace the Bathound caused the Batman-related comic books to take a wrong turn switching from the superheroes to situational comedy. Oh, they became a fucking comic.
Yeah, they gave him a sitcom.

Speaker 1 They gave him a sitcom. Holy shit.
So then they abandoned all these characters. And

Speaker 1 why did they...

Speaker 1 Why did they then be like, hey, remember when that thing failed when we were trying to make sure that everyone didn't think Batman and Robin were sucking each other off in the Batmobile?

Speaker 1 Let's bring back those characters. Is there Bat Dad? I think that's Batman.
But, like Batman's dad. No, that's the guy who gets shot in the alley.
Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah.
Spoiler.

Speaker 1 All right, so that was

Speaker 1 great. I learned a lot.
I learned a lot. I do still want to see how bad this girl can get.
Who cares? Who cares?

Speaker 1 Yeah, fuck. Bat girl.
I do want to see it as well. If you're an actor on that, you still get paid.

Speaker 1 I don't see a Spider-Man. Oh, shit.
You were clear. This is one of those things we got to send to Robbie Fox and just watch him cringe.

Speaker 1 We should actually watch, make him watch it on a live stream of everything we just fucked up. Yeah, the Spider-Man thing was a lot of people are going to be triggered over that one.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Big time. But I was with you.

Speaker 1 I was with you. Who cares? Who cares?

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Good cool throwing PND. Thank you.
We're talking about Rabbit. I'm with you.
I want to see it now, too. Right.
Oh, yeah, definitely. And just to see this family dynamic.

Speaker 1 Can we just, can we all agree to tweet at DC and be like, or whoever made it? Probably not DC, whatever movie studio. Zach Snyder.

Speaker 1 Can we just be like, hey, we all agree to go see this when it comes out in theaters, and then they'll release it, and then nobody will go? Yeah. Let's run back Morbin.
Yeah. I'm in.

Speaker 1 I think the saddest thing is I think Brendan Frazier gained like 200 pounds for the role. Oh, no.

Speaker 1 That sucks.

Speaker 1 Come on. You can't do that for him.
Google a picture of Brendan Frazier currently. Well, he was fat.

Speaker 1 He was bat.

Speaker 1 He's like, yeah, it's for a role. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm eventually going to be in the new Batgirl movie. I think he's the penguin.
Oh,

Speaker 1 that would have been delightful. That would have been great.
He would have had a great waddle. That would have been great.
All right. My hot seat is.
This footage exists, too. That's the thing.

Speaker 1 Release the fucking Snyder cut, Snyder. No, his name was Garfield Linz.

Speaker 1 Huh? In the streets. So he's a cat.

Speaker 1 He was the cat. Yeah, what?

Speaker 1 This movie makes no sense. Kind of love it.
All right, my hot hot seat is Hank. So Hank's on the hot seat.
Agreed.

Speaker 1 Because we talked about it on Sunday.

Speaker 1 Liam Bubba is going to be moving to different stuff from part of my take. So we have, we're not having Billy edit the podcast.

Speaker 1 We are having our coworker, Max, aka Philly Mays on Twitter, one of the greatest Twitter handles.

Speaker 1 Max is from Philly. He's a Villanova guy, diehard Eagles, Sixers, all that.
He is now going to be part of the show. Max, would you like to say anything?

Speaker 1 Hank is on the hot seat because he now has someone to clap back at him when he disparages the city of Philadelphia.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 Nice. This is good.
Speaking to the mic, Max.

Speaker 1 Speaking to the mic.

Speaker 1 Billy got your ass.

Speaker 1 Billy's like fresh meat. Oh, wow.
Looks like Hank is teaching Max wrong. All right.
Trying to submarine him all the time.

Speaker 4 That's a great introduction to the show for the new producer.

Speaker 1 Nice.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I'm excited for the opportunity. I've been a fan for a while.

Speaker 1 Yeah, big Philly guy, and I hate Hank. All right, perfect.
You're going to fit in perfectly here.

Speaker 1 Quick question. You look like you work out there, Max.
I heard some people call you one rep Max around here. One rep Max.

Speaker 1 Do you for me? Do you also bench press more than Billy? Yes. No, you fit fast.

Speaker 1 Max, you did not bench more than 275, so we have an equal bench press. Is that not correct?

Speaker 4 Technically correct, but if you go back and look at the tapes,

Speaker 4 anyone could see that I could bench more than you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was also the week that you couldn't do the 275, he did the 275, and he could clearly do more. Yeah, okay, so good.
You're gonna pit, you fit in perfectly.

Speaker 1 You're stronger than Billy, and you hate Hank. Are we gonna call you Max?

Speaker 1 Are we gonna call what's what's uh Max Homer's real first name, John? Yeah, I would call you Maxwell.

Speaker 1 What do you want, Philly Mays? What do you want?

Speaker 4 I mean, my name is Max.

Speaker 1 It's Max for now until you earn a nickname. No, we don't like that.

Speaker 1 No, I don't like your name. You're Bat Girl.

Speaker 1 I'm fine with with that. I'm like 50% not joking.
Like, I kind of want to see it. We can just start calling him Bat Girl.
We introduce him, like, some fucking big star comes in.

Speaker 1 We're like, all right, that's Hank, that's Jake. That's really, that's Bat Girl.

Speaker 1 Fuck, I think you're Bat Girl.

Speaker 1 Dude, I know.

Speaker 1 You might be Bat Girl. I'm all right with that.

Speaker 1 Bat Girl, that was a hilarious segment. Here's

Speaker 1 listen, Bat Girl. I'm going to sleep on it tonight, and I'm going to decide if

Speaker 1 you are Bat Girl. But you might be Bat Girl.

Speaker 4 I'm just here for the good of the show, so I can be Bat Girl.

Speaker 1 Okay, so everyone can follow him at Philly Mays. Like I said, Hank is now on the hot seat because he can't slander the city of Philadelphia without

Speaker 1 someone to represent

Speaker 1 Philly. It's going to make him look worse, so I'm not worried about that.
Yeah. Well, you can't look worse than being Batgirl.
Right. So it's already happened.
That's true.

Speaker 1 This is your king.

Speaker 1 Batgirl. You're going to have so many people tweet you tomorrow and be like, what's up, Batgirl?

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 I have to take it. What else am I supposed to do? No, you're bat girl.
You're bad girl. All right, and my cool throne is food.
So my cool throne is food.

Speaker 1 I've noticed that

Speaker 1 food has just been dominating recently. We have, pardon my cheese steaks, delicious.

Speaker 1 But yeah. Billy hasn't challenged any food recently.
I've noticed that too. So Billy has only gotten his ass kicked by food in the past.
Yeah. What are the ones that you failed?

Speaker 1 You failed the 72-ounce steak challenge.

Speaker 1 The tons of

Speaker 1 cheeseburgers.

Speaker 1 Oh, the wings. Don't forget you failed the wings too.
Yeah. Okay.
So, and we have Grit Week next week. We're going to Colorado.
Jake's actually got something.

Speaker 1 I'll kick it to Jake first on a Hot Sea Cool Throne so he can fill in with what we need in Colorado. But what I need is I need everyone in Rado to offer up food challenges, local food challenges.

Speaker 1 They have to be existing food challenges, so don't you can't make anything up, but local bars, whatever. What's the coolest food challenge in Colorado?

Speaker 1 Because I think Billy's got to get back in the ring. I've got an idea.
Yeah. I'm sure there's a place in Colorado that serves Rocky Mountain oysters.
Oh, like, see how many testicles you can eat.

Speaker 1 Actually, that is huge for the tea. Yeah,

Speaker 1 there you go.

Speaker 1 You're already getting mentally prepared. That's great.
I can't wait to see you film this. This is going to be great.

Speaker 1 You guys, if I get hopped up on Rocky Mountain Oysters, you're not going to want me around. Oh, yeah.
That'll be a real challenge. He's going to be.
No,

Speaker 1 it's going to be like a 50-50 testicle challenge billy's gonna eat 30 and then we're gonna make fun of him and he's gonna be like you guys don't understand i got so much tea now well yeah i'll fucking outbench that girl any day of the week billy's due he's gonna as a plus sign hunter as a plus sign hunter there's a there's a humongous one next to him he's gonna eat like yeah you said like 60 of the challenge and then he's gonna do something egregious and completely irresponsible like it's because you guys made me eat all that tea yeah that has really made me act out on this trip yeah you got yeah i had to i had to drink those 40 cores lights because I had to bring down my tea.

Speaker 1 We should let Billy, we should have people tweet at Billy and let him pick. Yeah, yeah.
So that way it's something that you think you can do. Right.
And again, I want it to be something that exists.

Speaker 1 So I don't want it to, I want, I want it to be something that Billy can get his name or a picture on a wall. I don't want it to be something made up.
So don't hit us up if you own a restaurant.

Speaker 1 You're like, you're going to make something. I want there to be history behind it.

Speaker 1 And I want Billy to get back in the ring against food because there's nothing I enjoy more than watching food just kick the shit out of Billy. How about this?

Speaker 1 How about Billy gets to choose which competition he's going to do, but then we can choose to appeal it to ourselves if we don't like it.

Speaker 1 Yes. Like Goodell.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, how about Jake gets to pick? He's the independent arbiter. He's Sue Robinson.
Okay. We're Goodell, so we get to appeal.

Speaker 1 So, Billy, you present your evidence to Jake, and then Jake will choose, and then we can appeal it to ourselves. Yes, I do think we should all try Rocky Mountain Oysters, though.
Okay, sure. Sure.

Speaker 1 Down, down, dude. Just get the tea up with everyone.
Taurine. Yeah.
Active ingredient, Red Bull. Nice.
No free ads. But get your tea up.
Yeah. You meant C4.
C4. C4.
Yes. As Taurine is.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 okay.

Speaker 1 Let me do Jake first because Jake has something along the lines. Yeah, I'll go reverse.

Speaker 4 My cool throne is AWL's in Denver.

Speaker 1 Ron.

Speaker 4 Yes. The debut of Hard Knocks taking place Tuesday night, August 9th.
I believe it'll be an 8 p.m. Mountain Time start, 10 p.m.

Speaker 1 Eastern. Okay, that's good math.

Speaker 4 So we are looking for an AWS house to watch the debut at.

Speaker 1 And I'm pumped up about this. Yeah.
Like I saw the first clip from

Speaker 1 old Dan Campbell talking about grit. That's going to be a very appropriate thing to watch after week.
So we've done this a couple of years in a row. It's very fun.

Speaker 1 We went to a nice couple.

Speaker 4 Cleveland last week.

Speaker 1 Yeah, a nice couple's house in Ohio. I think they were engaged at the time.

Speaker 4 Maybe they're married by now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, congrats to them.

Speaker 1 Yeah, or maybe they're divorced or broke up. He shouldn't have cheated.
That was fucked up of him.

Speaker 1 Remember when he pulled this aside and he's like, you think this is all I bang?

Speaker 4 So here's what we're looking for. You're going to email your submissions.

Speaker 1 That actually didn't happen.

Speaker 1 If the person out there is listening to this, I just want to be crystal clear.

Speaker 1 That didn't happen. John pulled all of us aside and she was like, airtight.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That also didn't happen. That's also a joke.
Yeah, that's also a joke. We fucked them.
They were really nice. Yeah, we fucked their dog.
That's all. Yeah, and each other.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then remember a few years before that in Wisconsin when we went to the AWS house and it was, we usually like to pick a guy and a girl because we know that, like, hey, they live together.

Speaker 1 They can't be that crazy.

Speaker 1 And we went to an AWS house and it was a girl. Shout out to all of our female listeners.
And her boyfriend just didn't listen and didn't care.

Speaker 1 And we just sat in her living room and we watched hard knocks. And he was like, who are these dudes? They're definitely broken up.

Speaker 1 Without a doubt. I thought that was fine.
Like, I felt comfortable because we were just watching football.

Speaker 1 But then afterwards, when we left, I was like, that guy probably didn't want us in his house. Well, and she asked for a picture for him to take it.
Yeah. And that was bad.
That was awkward.

Speaker 1 That was bad. But we do like to do a couple.
Because it goes along with their like, no freaks policy. Yeah, actually,

Speaker 1 a little impromptu guys on chicks, because we're not doing it this week. If you are in a relationship and you want to get out of it, we will probably come and break it up for you.

Speaker 1 Or how about fucking talking about Grit Week Memories, guys and girls, when, what was it, brother and sister got fake? Yeah,

Speaker 1 that was weird. And then they married him in the back of the van at the end.
We're like, we're brother and sister. Yeah, that was

Speaker 1 joke. It was classic bit.
I'm going to say right now, this is going to be the best grit week yet. Agreed.
I'm going to say it. Hardly.
I'm going to say it because I just feel the vibes in Colorado.

Speaker 1 We got some fun things planned. We got some big interviews planned in Colorado.
I'm very excited. So, Jake, what are they going to do? So, here's what you have to do.

Speaker 4 PMT Intern at barstoolsports.com. Email your submission.
So, big countenance here if you want a couple. I think last year we had them submit a picture of the setup so it's big enough to fit everybody.

Speaker 1 Don't just restrict it, though. You never know.
No, yeah, you've been everywhere. Give it a shot.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. A dog would be nice, too.
Yeah, because we want Jake's suffer.

Speaker 1 I took Zertec last year.

Speaker 4 They had a dog. I was okay.
It's only for an hour.

Speaker 1 A dog would be nice.

Speaker 1 What else do you guys have? We will bring your food. We will bring dinner.
Spoil my cheese. Spoil my cheese.
We will bring dinner.

Speaker 1 We will bring our own food, yes, but like a bowl of like candy wouldn't hurt, you know? Like if they had some M ⁇ Ms just laying out the coffee table. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Any other requests that you have for the submissions?

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 spoilers on sports.com. Deal breaker.
Billy's not really an indoor type of animal, but he will be with us, so just be ready for that. If you have a yard with like a

Speaker 1 steak with a leash that you can put on it, that's it. A zip line, we just have Billy run up and down the yard.

Speaker 4 What radius from downtown Denver is the

Speaker 1 20 miles?

Speaker 4 20 miles from Denver.

Speaker 1 15. Let's call it 15.
Okay. Let's call it 15 miles.

Speaker 4 So, yeah, so Tuesday night, August 9th, PMT internet, barstallsports.com. Submit all of that info that we just talked about, and we'll pick a winner.

Speaker 1 And we will have a meet and greet, by the way, that night.

Speaker 1 Location

Speaker 1 TBD but that Tuesday night somewhere in Denver we're gonna figure out a bar that everyone could come and say hello to us in the city in the city so get ready for that we're very excited to to hang out with the people of Rado we got a lot of big things planned might be might be hiking the world's tallest mountain we don't know yeah maybe

Speaker 1 maybe very excited that's in Colorado okay and your hot seat my hot seat's Tony La Russo he was caught dozing off in the dugout yeah

Speaker 1 in the first inning i i just i feel for him he's so old like old people just sleep they take naps right now

Speaker 1 because the graphic of middle bottom first is on that yeah yeah that better that than behind a wheel though so making some progress yeah that's true that's very true yeah so i also think that baseball is the most sleepable sport easy just in general like if you're if you're taking a snooze i imagine that most managers if you were to like put truth serum in them be like hey have you ever fallen asleep during a game that you were managing most of them would say yeah Also, bottom of the first, there's no need to call the bullpen manager.

Speaker 1 And you also eat nothing.

Speaker 1 Everyone has or had, has had grandparents. Like, that's what they do.
They just kind of nod off every now and then. That just goes to show you how much work he puts in before the games.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's true. He's so tired in the first.
So tired. All right, Billy, finish this off with a hot seat cool throw, and then we'll get to Luke Fickle.
My hot seat is the AFC East.

Speaker 1 Today, I visited Jets camp, and I have to say they are all totally on the hot seat because the Jets Jets are an absolute wagon, and their offense looked electric.

Speaker 1 Seriously. What was the give us like the play that wowed you? You're like, this year's different.

Speaker 1 This year's different. I saw Zach Wilson throw a dime to Corey Davis on the sideline.
It was probably about 35 yards on a line, but it was the hardest throw in football, out and up.

Speaker 1 So he put it high and outside. Nice.
It was perfect. Was it an NFL throw, a big-time throw? Yes, big-time NFL throw.
Was the defense on the field? Yes, it was 11-on-11.

Speaker 1 I didn't think to ask them. I knew up some time.

Speaker 1 Sauce Gardner almost made a play on the ball. He was a big guy, but he couldn't get to it because it was such a well-placed ball.
But Sauce Gardner. Oh, like good defense, better offense.

Speaker 1 Yeah, everyone was awesome. Everyone was all professional scenario.

Speaker 1 But actually, the guy who really impressed me, and we saw it a little in the end of last season, but Ben Mitz has always been telling me about Elijah Moore. He's like, Elijah Moore, Elijah Moore.

Speaker 1 He got me to Barstool. He's amazing.
And I hadn't watched him that much. I saw him today in person, and he was making grabs all over the field.

Speaker 1 He was actually like, he played so well just in that practice, it was like, that guy is a different kind of player. Yeah.
Like, he's a step above everybody else.

Speaker 1 Did you see your coach? Yes. Did you talk to him? Salah? Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You talked to him. No, I didn't talk to him.
Oh, but I just want to give him the next name. Yeah.

Speaker 1 How do you say it? Salah. Salah.
So we now said two talks. Like completely different ways.
They're literally.

Speaker 1 Literally, no one knows how to say it.

Speaker 1 I'm excited for you, Billy, because I actually do think the Jets are going to be good this year.

Speaker 1 I think definitely, I mean, on the Barcelona Sportsbooks, they only have their win total is six over under.

Speaker 1 Totally take the over.

Speaker 1 Garrett Wilson was also playing in the beginning of the practice. He did stumble a little, then he didn't play for the rest of the practice, but he's fine.

Speaker 1 But like, they have a bunch of, they have a whole cast of characters. Like, if you, like, they have definite players on, like, their offense, like, they have a full roster.

Speaker 1 For the first time, no, but like for the first time. They have more than a full roster right now.
They have several.

Speaker 1 like somebody got it. The Patriots was like Gronk, Welker, Edelman.
So you're comparing this New York Giants team real quick to the best offensive football team. I know, but

Speaker 1 the Chiefs, they had, you know,

Speaker 1 they had Kelsey, Mahomes, Mahomes, Tyreek Hill. There's names.

Speaker 1 We got Barrio. So wait, hold on.

Speaker 1 Hold on.

Speaker 1 They have a huge touchdown. I actually...
Totally agree with what Billy's saying, as stupid as it sounds here. And I think I'm going to help you out here.
But they're puzzle pieces

Speaker 1 if they put them together. No, no, no.
What you're saying, and I agree with you here, they have recognizable names. Yeah.
And that actually matters a lot. Exactly.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 None of them have done anything, but you know, like if you say the name Zach Wilson or Elijah Moore or Garrett Wilson or Braxon Berrios. Yeah, Braxon Berrios, like Garrett Wilson.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 Like, you're like, oh, yeah, that guy. Well, Big Hat, when you think about it,

Speaker 1 some other teams, like the 49ers, you know, they had like Joe Montana, they had Jerry Rice,

Speaker 1 they had Ronnie Lott. Like the Jets, they've got

Speaker 1 guys. To back up what Billy's saying,

Speaker 1 name four dudes on the Jaguars offense, skill players. Kyle Sloater,

Speaker 1 Trevor Lawrence,

Speaker 1 Travis Atien. People forget first-round pick coming back.
And then Christian Kirk.

Speaker 1 You got three. So I said four.
No, no.

Speaker 1 Sloater counts. Skill players.
You can't. So that's what Billy's point.
It's not like a full package.

Speaker 1 I'm not diehard Jaguars. But that's what he's saying, though.
Like, when you can name guys, that matters. Exactly.
Yeah. I think you're right, Billy.

Speaker 1 And our head coach is a defensive genius, so I know the deep, like, you know, they're going to plug all the holes and

Speaker 1 dot all their eyes. Here's a better way to put it.
The Jets will have most of their offensive skill players drafted in fantasy. That's nice.
Yeah, that's a big deal. That's big stuff.

Speaker 1 That's the name test.

Speaker 1 So, Billy, last year, I think you said if Zach Wilson makes the playoffs, you would convert to Mormonism.

Speaker 1 Is that what it was I think I said if he won a Super Bowl I would convert to Mormon okay so that's still on the table okay I was gonna say like what if they win it this year the Super or get to the playoffs yeah you should bang your mom's friend

Speaker 1 yeah that's what it is you should dock in your mom's friend's butt

Speaker 1 we'll figure that out we'll take soks we'll dock

Speaker 1 that one or you could dock your mom's friend's husband my mom's friends with many people okay so you got a lot of options that's nice nice dude i

Speaker 1 that we could work that out

Speaker 1 it's a big ocean out there billy yeah

Speaker 1 where was i

Speaker 1 um yeah so cool throne drones uh which one of your mom's friends is hottest

Speaker 1 okay cool throne i don't think billy's got that dog and he isn't you haven't eaten enough rocket noise

Speaker 1 he's just a little pop

Speaker 1 cool throne drones uh drones took out another terrorist shout out drones all right good job obama yeah knife drones drones yeah Obama is definitely still on the sticks.

Speaker 1 You don't give that up. No, they're getting the right people this time.
Yeah, Obama was nice on the sticks. Biden is not on the sticks.
No. Obama's definitely on the sticks.

Speaker 1 Obama didn't give up the controller.

Speaker 1 Biden is the definition. Biden probably is that meme with the dad walking into the room on his son.
Biden walks in while Obama's got his Xbox out. How are you doing there, son? Are you winning?

Speaker 1 Biden probably has a control. He probably has a controller.
It's just the broken control. It's like the little brother who gets the broken control.
Yeah, the broken control.

Speaker 1 64 with the joystick doesn't work. He's like, wait, this drone didn't hit.
And Obama's just like, got another one. So, Billy, did you see the missile that they shot up this guy's ass? Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's crazy. This is an insane thing that I don't know why they invented this other than it's fucking terrifying.
It's not a bomb. It doesn't explode.
It's got...

Speaker 1 these blades that are on it and so the blades just spin and they shoot it directly at the person and then it just chops them into pieces it's pretty fucking cool it's wild precise yeah yeah That's terrifying.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Like, don't hypothetically don't commit like egregious acts of terrorism that will kill thousands and thousands of people, and you won't get that. Yeah.
Don't do 9-11, bro.

Speaker 1 The choice is yours. You have nothing to worry about.
Yeah. But if you do, you're getting fucking razor blades up your ass.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, we looked at a picture of it.
It looks crazy.

Speaker 1 Whoever invented that in jail. Yeah.
They have a fucked up mind. Well, no, just like, yeah, put them in an insane.
They probably got the person out of an insane asylum.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. Good hot sequel thrown by everyone.
Let's get to Luke Fickle, and then we're going to do the Mount Rushmore fruits to end the show on the other end.

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Speaker 1 And now here's Luke Fickle.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is head coach of Cincinnati,

Speaker 1 Luke Fickle. He won, I think, like a million awards last year.
Do you know how many awards you actually won? Let's start with that. Like, I think you won every award.

Speaker 8 We won the AAC championship as a team, and that's the only thing I got.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, nice, nice, smart. I think I have a list here.
I think

Speaker 1 you won, like, the Home Depot Coach of the Year, Sporting News College Football Coach of the Year, Bobby Dodd

Speaker 1 Coach of the Year, Eddie Robinson Coach of the Year, AFCA Coach of the Year, Paul Bear Bryan Award, the PMT AAC Coach of the Year. Yes, you yes,

Speaker 1 you won football guy of the week before from us when you did the pull-ups on the rafters.

Speaker 8 There you go.

Speaker 8 That was, by the way, that was my like my fourth set. So you guys know that I failed after like the fourth or fifth one, but that was set number four.

Speaker 1 That wasn't like the first set, so I was a little wore out. Okay.
So set the record straight. How many pull-ups can you do?

Speaker 8 Oh, well, I mean, I don't know that I challenge myself every day to do it, but I don't know. Full body?

Speaker 4 I mean,

Speaker 8 we don't use the full body.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're not doing the like kipping, swinging pull-ups. We're talking about like the real.

Speaker 8 Before I pull, I actually pull my back muscle. I probably can't get many more than six to eight, but that's pretty good.

Speaker 8 No, unless I'm challenged, you know, sometimes it's a little different at times.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so you got camp is about to open, right? We were like a few days away. How does it feel?

Speaker 1 I would imagine, like, we're excited for football to be back, but as a head coach, is it like the first, the few days before camp, you're just giddy and ready to go?

Speaker 8 It is. It is.
It's like, you know, it's kind of like Christmas Eve in some ways.

Speaker 8 You know, but there's a lot of, you know, there's a lot of anxiety too. You know, for us, I call it life without Desmond Ritter and Kobe Bryant are new and different.

Speaker 8 Those are guys that have been here since day one with us and had just, not that they were always the best player, not that the leader,

Speaker 8 but just guys that had been around for so long. So it's different.
In some ways, it's a little bit more exciting because you don't know nearly as much about what you really are going to look like.

Speaker 8 I mean, we've got this vision, but the next 20 days will tell a lot about, you know, who we're going to be.

Speaker 1 Well, you got Ben Bryant coming back. Is that awkward at all? The fact that he left and then he comes back.

Speaker 1 Is there like, you know, it's like when you break up with someone and get back together, like, we're not going to talk about our time apart. Hope you had fun.
We had fun.

Speaker 1 Let's just move forward at this point.

Speaker 8 Yeah, I guess I never thought about it like that. But yeah, we haven't talked about that nine months away.
I don't want to really know what was going on.

Speaker 8 But it is. It's unique.
But, you know, for us, we kind of look at him as one of us.

Speaker 8 And so it was never something that, you know, because it's uniquely different sometimes when you bring somebody in, especially in a key position like that, about

Speaker 8 how it kind of, you know.

Speaker 8 feels to everybody else. But the unique thing is, is he was kind of been embraced.

Speaker 8 Last year, when the Mac would play on a Friday night or they'd play on a Tuesday night, our locker room, they'd be watching Ben Bryant play.

Speaker 8 On a Friday night, they'd all be down there watching him play if they were playing or streaming it in a different way. So even though he wasn't here, he was pretty well connected to us.

Speaker 1 So week one is Arkansas

Speaker 1 back right back to the SEC.

Speaker 1 How many times have you watched the playoff game against Alabama? Or was it a

Speaker 1 let's burn the tape and move on moment?

Speaker 8 No, no, probably five, six times at least.

Speaker 8 Yeah, yeah, it's,

Speaker 8 I don't know if you ever heard the year before we played Georgia, I didn't watch that game until like two days before spring ball started because I just, it was so gut-wrenching that I was like, I can't watch it until we've got football like right, right the next day or so.

Speaker 8 The Alabama was a little bit different. I needed to see.
I needed to know some things. So

Speaker 8 it's been something I've seen. I've watched and I think we've watched.

Speaker 8 We watched it as a team throughout the entire spring, just to, you know, in some positive ways of just making sure guys understand where we are and what we need to do to take that next step.

Speaker 1 And now, like, I'm just curious, in terms of talking to the players, because, you know, as we watch it, there's clearly a gap.

Speaker 1 And I actually think that, you know, there was a couple big third downs that if you guys had converted, it might have been a little bit closer.

Speaker 1 But there's clearly a gap with the guys that Alabama has.

Speaker 1 How do you rectify that in the locker room when you're going up against another SEC opponent where you're like, you don't, you, you want to be honest, but you also don't want to, you know, have everyone be like demoralized by the fact that they got pros up and down the field and there's just a difference in type of athlete that the SEC or an Alabama has versus you guys.

Speaker 8 No, and when we watched it, we watched it every Saturday in the spring and watched it as an offense and watched it as a defense.

Speaker 8 And it was more to be positive about here's where the unique little situations are. You know, we didn't play well coming out the gate maybe, or,

Speaker 8 you know, we didn't do some of the things defensively that we had done so good all year.

Speaker 8 And so it was in a positive light to make sure they understand that there's a fine line between, you know, good and great.

Speaker 8 And, you know, in our eyes, they were great and we were just, you know, pretty darn good. And, but it wasn't just, you know, well, they're bigger than you and they're fat.

Speaker 8 No, I mean, you know, we had nine guys drafted. We were right up there in every situation.

Speaker 8 It was just a little bit more of handling the situation situation and handling the, I think, the atmosphere and, you know, playing within yourself that I was trying to make the point of, as opposed to, oh, we got knocked off the ball.

Speaker 8 Hey, they ran for 220 yards because they were bigger than us up front.

Speaker 8 There's obviously some differences, maybe, and it's going to show up front a little bit. But I think that in a lot of ways, it was, hey, we're not far off, guys.

Speaker 8 We just got to do what we do and be us and execute better.

Speaker 1 I like that. And it was all, I mean, it was a great story.
I felt like it

Speaker 1 was like a breath of fresh air into college football to have you guys crash the party, so to speak. I was a skeptic all year.
I thought you guys were going to get squeezed out.

Speaker 1 Now, I wasn't a skeptic of your team. I was a skeptic of the system.

Speaker 1 So it's got to feel good, though, knowing that you can go and recruit guys now and be like, look, you know, I mean, we obviously don't know where this whole thing is heading with the playoff.

Speaker 1 But as it stands right now, like, hey, we did it. We got there.
We can compete for a national championship. That has to be a huge feather in your cap when you're going into

Speaker 1 people's living rooms. Well,

Speaker 8 it was kind of threefold, to be honest with you.

Speaker 8 Everything kind of fell online right now this year.

Speaker 8 So the things that can hurt you in the long run, obviously, when you're talking recruiting, first and foremost for us, it had been the league kind of. And obviously we're

Speaker 8 one more year here, and then we're moving to the Big 12. And then obviously it's always the playoffs.
Everybody wants to say, well, you know, I want a chance to win a national championship.

Speaker 8 And to have that opportunity where we got ourselves in the playoffs, got in the mix, you kind of broke that barrier. And then it's always the NFL draft.

Speaker 8 We recruited in the Midwest against the Big Ten and some of the SEC. And it's always, well,

Speaker 8 the SEC or has this many guys drafted. And

Speaker 8 for us, Ohio State is right here in the home state. They had this many guys drafted.

Speaker 8 And now you have an opportunity to say, look, we had nine guys drafted and more than maybe a lot of those guys had that year.

Speaker 8 So for us, moving everything forward, it was kind of threefold that you kind of hit the trifecta trifecta right there with all three in one year that, you know, helped guys understand, hey, there's an opportunity here that maybe you didn't envision in the first place.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Are you a little concerned that moving to the Big 12, there's going to be like, you're going to ruffle some feathers.
It might not be a great culture fit because you guys actually play defense.

Speaker 1 And that's kind of what you're known for. So is Baylor going to be like, wait, I can't score 55 points against you guys? Like, why did we invite them to the party?

Speaker 8 It'll be unique. I mean, hey,

Speaker 8 what's still going to change, right? I mean, that's another year away. And goodness sakes, that the way college football is moving, who knows? There could be some more teams in there.
And,

Speaker 8 you know, it could even be uniquely different from what we see right now. But I think for us, I think, you know, we're not going to change who we are.

Speaker 8 And, you know, maybe you have to adapt, maybe you've got to adjust.

Speaker 8 I know that as you look back at it, TCU was a team that, you know, obviously, I think adapted, adjusted as they continued to climb and move into different leagues.

Speaker 8 And I've talked to them a little bit about how to, how they changed and adapted to new areas and new leagues and things.

Speaker 8 And I know that there'll be some adaptation for us, but we don't want to stray far from who we really believe we are.

Speaker 1 I think you guys should play with 10 people on the field on defense. I think that'd be fair.

Speaker 1 That'd be

Speaker 8 we could have got away a little bit with that, with sauce over there at the boundary, maybe. We were kind of playing a 10-man game in a lot of the things that we were doing.

Speaker 8 I tell people, we were cheating last year in a lot of ways. Sometimes we just say that side over there is off the board, and we get to play play kind of 10 on 10 over here.

Speaker 1 When you realize you got a guy named Sauce Gardner on the team, are you just like, okay, well, he's starting? I don't need to see him play.

Speaker 8 No, he was sitting on the bench as a freshman. He was 155 pounds.
And the only reason he went in the game is we were playing UCF and they run 125 plays in the game.

Speaker 8 So we're like, we got to substitute these guys. And the first series he was in, he broke up a ball.
And the second series he was in, he picked sixed it. And I'm like,

Speaker 8 Okay, we're not quite as smart of coaches as I thought we were. We better keep this guy in the game.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's why you need a dumb guy on your coaching staff like us who sees the name Sauce Gardener. We're like, you have to start Sauce.
Yes.

Speaker 8 At that point in time, until he was drafted, he was just a mod to me.

Speaker 8 And, you know, guys that walk in with those self-proclaimed nicknames, you know, they don't, they don't usually, you know, rise to the top

Speaker 8 in our program right away.

Speaker 8 After that pick six, I think it was one of those things where more people started to recognize that nickname.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I have a question about recruiting. One other question about recruiting.

Speaker 1 Is there, I saw you were in some TikToks.

Speaker 1 Is there like a chart that your staff goes through where it's like, okay, this guy's a five-star. I'll take off my shirt.
I'll like look like an idiot. This guy's a three-star.

Speaker 1 Maybe I'll be on like an Instagram story, but I'm not going to be on a TikTok. Is there a conversion chart for recruiting?

Speaker 8 No, I don't know that we've got the conversion chart. I think that it's unique.

Speaker 8 Any of those things that are more creative, and if it entails me doing anything outside my comfort zone, it's surely not my idea. And it's all the video side of things.

Speaker 8 We've got a girl that I kind of promised when she didn't leave us. She had an opportunity to, a lot of people are trying to take her.
And I promise that I'll do whatever it is that you ask.

Speaker 8 you know, outside of my comfort zone, I'll do it if you ask me to do it. So that's how I ended up on some TikToks.
That's how I ended up on, you know, doing some of those things.

Speaker 8 It wasn't even as much as the recruit as it was, you know, darn it. I promised somebody if they stuck with us that I wouldn't say no to any of these crazy things they asked me to do.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 So, I mean, I appreciate the honesty, but I do just imagine and hope that some program does have like an actual chart, you know, like big on the whiteboard where it's like, all right, this guy, like, I'll let him step over me.

Speaker 1 This guy, like, maybe we'll just, you know, like, all right, this guy's a five-star. I'll get in full pads with him.
Like, we'll just do the whole thing. Oh, this guy's a, you know, a two-star kicker.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we won't even put anything on social media.

Speaker 8 I'm not saying they names, but I think maybe, maybe there are some to do that because I've seen some coaches that maybe have put themselves in some situations. I'm like, what were they thinking?

Speaker 8 But I never really quite

Speaker 8 envisioned it as, okay, that's a five-star. Maybe

Speaker 8 they're going to go above and beyond and completely get out of what I would say is the comfort zone or even

Speaker 8 the friendly zone by any means.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Is there actually a derecruitment process that you guys go through? You hear that term all the time.

Speaker 1 And to me, it's just like coaches are like, yeah, after they get on campus, we start being assholes to them, you know?

Speaker 8 Well, you used to say that. I used to do one of those things.
Okay, the freshman coming, you're going to derecruit him.

Speaker 8 Now with the transfer portal, like you got to, everything you do, you got to make sure you're aware that, you know, there's a lot more cards that are held by the other guys. So,

Speaker 8 you know, believe me, if you're within our program, especially where we're getting ready to head to in three days, the derecruiting does it itself.

Speaker 8 We go out to a place called Higher Ground, so we'll leave for like 18, 19 days. And you guys should come out.
I mean, you would love it out there in the woods of Indiana.

Speaker 8 I mean, it's a beautiful place and

Speaker 8 living in a barracks. And oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 This really sounds awesome the way you describe it. We're in.
We're in.

Speaker 1 Come to nowhere to Indiana and then stay in a hut. Yeah.
And then hitting.

Speaker 8 They don't need to de-recruit. All they do is take them out here and they realize what they signed up for.

Speaker 1 I would actually enjoy that, that, getting out to the middle of nowhere. It's like, you know, some people go off on meditation retreats.

Speaker 1 Our good friend, Coach Harbaugh, taught us that the human body craves contact. I think sometimes we don't hit each other enough, and we kind of miss that.

Speaker 8 I could agree with that, being a former wrestler that,

Speaker 8 you know, yeah, without some opportunities to run into other humans, yeah, we're missing out. We're losing some things.

Speaker 8 But I promise you, if you came out to West Harrison, Indiana camp higher ground, that there's plenty of things out there for you to hit or shoot or whatever it is that you like to do because that's out in the middle of nowhere.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I have two Ohio State questions for you. They're not going to be, you know, I know that you are,

Speaker 1 actually, let me start with this. Is it, you've been rumored for every job.

Speaker 1 I know it's probably annoying at some point to have to deal with that with your players and everything, but there's got to be a small part of you like, this is kind of sick that every awesome job that gets opened up, I'm like the first name that's listed.

Speaker 1 It's got to be at least like you're doing something right. You know, like I know that you've been firm and you're, I actually appreciate that you're like, I'm staying here.

Speaker 1 This is where I'm raising my family. But like any job that gets opened up at any level and everyone's like Luke Fickle.

Speaker 8 Well, it's better than the alternative, right? I mean, every you guys got shows, you got books, you got magazines. Who's on the hot seat this year?

Speaker 8 So I guess if you'd say, which one do you want to pick? Don't get me wrong. I like the negative.
I like the, when people doubt you, to maybe throw you on the hot seat seat question.

Speaker 8 But if choosing, I think I would go ahead and rather be in the positive light side.

Speaker 1 Yes. All right.
So my two Ohio State questions were when you were a coach the first time there.

Speaker 1 The first is the national championship game against Miami.

Speaker 1 Who threw the flag on your guys' sideline? Did it come from your pocket? Because I figure you like. It was my uncle.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you guys knew that.

Speaker 8 Yeah. It's a distant uncle, though.
Because

Speaker 1 you were, I think, special teams coach. Like,

Speaker 1 you would have been the perfect guy to be just walking around with the flag in your back pocket and tossing that at the end of the game.

Speaker 8 As long as you didn't bring up the fake field goal, I think, that we attempted, because that was not my call, even though my first year as

Speaker 8 obviously back coaching and only my third year actually coaching. So, no, I would not call a fake field goal in the national championship game that didn't, you know, that didn't work.

Speaker 8 That was the head guy.

Speaker 8 But no, it's a distant cousin. You could not even, actually in the bloodline, you could even go back and find him even anywhere listed in the family tree.
But nonetheless,

Speaker 8 he is related in some ways.

Speaker 1 All-time moment where

Speaker 1 you're like, it's over? Did you have you?

Speaker 1 Obviously, you probably had that moment where you're like, yeah, it's over because it was that long of a delay that it was like, and then boom, it's we talk about it all the time as sports fans that there's when you're watching football and your team has like a big play go against you, you always are sitting there being like, but what about the flag for like that split second?

Speaker 1 And then you, and then you accept your death.

Speaker 1 Were you already dead? And then you're like, oh, then there's the flag.

Speaker 8 See, I'm a former nose guard, so I live in the world of pauses.

Speaker 8 I don't know if you've met some of us that, you know, Fray been one of those guys that played a long time that used their forehead as a battering ram.

Speaker 8 There's by nature a pause in everything that I do.

Speaker 8 So I didn't even recognize, you know, as a former defensive lineman that ran your head, like. Your life is a pause.
So that looked like it happened in sync to me. So that's the only way I remember it.

Speaker 1 Okay. And then my other Ohio State question.

Speaker 1 I'm a Badger. One of the first games I ever went to as a freshman,

Speaker 1 your player, which I don't think you were the linebackers coach yet, but I'm pretty sure you were the person who told him to do this. I think you know where I'm going.

Speaker 1 So were you the guy who coached up for Robert Reynolds to choke out Jim Sorgy? Yeah. Was that you?

Speaker 8 Rob Reynolds from Kentucky.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 8 No, I'm not laying claim. You're right.
I was not the linebacker coach at that time, but I do have a story of like that.

Speaker 8 When my first year of coaching when you know you're on the sides you're all fired up and you tell your kid you got to go out there and you know just grab somebody and tear their throat out and i had a official come over to the side and threw a flag on a kid that came over and he said uh coach he was grabbing the guy's throat under the pile of tears and i looked at him and he looked at me he's like like he wanted to say it like coach you told me to tear his throat i'm like oh my god that was a figure of speech like do you not understand the difference between a figure of speech so i learned my lesson early on so i would not have told rob that,

Speaker 8 at least publicly.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, that also was one of those moments where it was before, like, you know, a million replay views.

Speaker 8 Yeah, that's like one of the first ever ones where something like that gets caught and then it gets replayed over and over again.

Speaker 8 Nowadays, I mean, there's 300 cameras on everything, but he, Rob was probably the first one that I really remember that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he sent Jim Surgeon to the hospital and choked him out. Oh, I don't, I don't know about that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I might. I think he almost died.
I think they had to bring him back to life.

Speaker 8 Yeah, he leg dropped him afterwards, too, I think, right?

Speaker 1 I guess that's typical.

Speaker 8 Rick Blair had his last match. We might as well get into some of the, you know, I think he maybe even dropped an elbow bomb on him.

Speaker 1 That's typical Ohio State scumbag behavior where you're belittling like a man who almost died on the field because he couldn't breathe. So that's fine.
I get it. You got to be true to yourself.

Speaker 1 That's right. You have to wonder if Jim Sorgi would have had a longer NFL career if he hadn't gotten choked out.

Speaker 1 He probably would have made it like 17, 18 years as opposed to 15.

Speaker 8 He probably would have, man. It's, you know, or he had some PTSD and he just had to retire a little early because he kept remembering it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he took money out of that man's pocket. Yeah, that's how I got it.
I've got an Ohio State question for you, too. So you, we alluded to it, you're good friends with Mike Vrabel, our friend.

Speaker 1 Were you guys actually roommates?

Speaker 8 We were roommates for four years, three of them officially, but he just decided to move into our apartment as freshmen instead because he didn't like the dorm.

Speaker 8 So he may have ran one of our roommates out because he kind of confiscated his room a little bit. But yeah,

Speaker 8 you can save roommates for four years.

Speaker 1 All right, wait, so Vrabel decides he's going to move in. He doesn't want to stay in the dorms.
And he essentially just takes another man's room and challenges him. He's like, I am in this territory.

Speaker 1 If you want this territory, you have to

Speaker 1 take it from it.

Speaker 8 I don't know that it had to be a challenge, but he just seemed almost commander

Speaker 8 at

Speaker 8 the wee hours of the night whenever he maybe needed it. But yeah, so he pretty much lived with us that entire first year as well.

Speaker 1 But after that, yeah, for the next three three years i think uh we were roommates yeah who was the alpha in that relationship you or him who

Speaker 1 no doubt about it like vrabels that he's an alpha

Speaker 8 i tell you what there's plenty of nights that uh you know that uh everybody was wore out like could you guys just quit it i mean at some point in time no one's going to tap out and no one's going to give in and uh they would just have to finally say like this let's just make it a draw here so uh the good news is is probably after those years, we were always pretty much on the same side.

Speaker 8 So it would have been ugly had I ever had made it and had to go on the other side against him

Speaker 8 because I'd have had to take some shots, maybe when his back was turned, because at that point in time, he was, you know, obviously playing 14 years a little bit above me.

Speaker 8 So I had to take all shots when I needed.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So if you look back on those times and you're like, okay, me and this guy, Mike, we're staying up until four o'clock in the morning, just wrestling, just, you know, going out, partying, having a good time, being, you know, being essentially yo kids would you ever have thought in a million years that you guys would end up like one uh a top four in the college football playoff head coach and the other um an nfl head coach that just one coach of the year

Speaker 8 no but let me set the record straight he can't go he's like a pumpkin at 2 30 he's a pumpkin now he anything after 2 30 he's done whether he was in college or not i So four o'clock was not his

Speaker 8 realm. So at 2.30, it was no more.

Speaker 8 But no, I would never have been, he always wanted to be a coach. He always talked about being a coach.

Speaker 8 Me, I didn't. And, you know, but I knew whatever his, he was going to do, he was, you know, I'm going to do it at a very, very high level.
And I always kind of thought it was, it was fitting.

Speaker 8 But it's kind of unique that and we're closer now than, you know, being three and a half, four hours away.

Speaker 8 You know, so some blades get a chance to, you know, not that we have a lot of free time, but at least, you know, talk about the same things and help each other out in some ways.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So, when was your first memory of

Speaker 1 Rabes threatening to cut off his penis for something? Because that wasn't, like, I know.

Speaker 8 I thought it was, I don't,

Speaker 8 I think it was his balls, wasn't it?

Speaker 1 I know, it was his penis. He said,

Speaker 1 He's already gotten enough kids. Yeah, he would cut off his penis for a Super Bowl.
But that to me seems like something that he had thrown around before.

Speaker 1 Like, I'll sometimes say something out loud, and it's like, I've been, I've been testing that out.

Speaker 1 So, I would imagine he's like, you're like, if you don't give me this room, I'm going to cut my dick off. Like something like that.

Speaker 8 Yeah,

Speaker 8 he,

Speaker 8 I don't know that I've, there's a lot of sayings that he had used. I'm not sure I quite remember that one exactly.

Speaker 8 I don't know that I'm going to bring up a few of the others, but there's always a few things that were off the wall that pretty much stuck.

Speaker 8 I actually didn't see that, but I think maybe about an hour after whatever article or whatever that was that came out, I think I probably got three or four text messages from people, former friends.

Speaker 8 Even my old father sent me a message to say,

Speaker 8 what is Mike talking about here? So, yeah, it was quite unique.

Speaker 1 Let me ask you the question. Would you cut off Mike Vrabel's penis for a college football championship?

Speaker 1 Sure. Yes.
Okay, there we go.

Speaker 8 He's already throwing it out there. He's got plenty of kids, man.
I guess he's got what he needs.

Speaker 1 I actually, I do have one more Ohio State question. This one's a little weird.
You probably haven't gotten it, but we spent some time with your old boss, Jim Tressel,

Speaker 1 and you were the special teams coach.

Speaker 1 Did it ever creep you out how addicted he was to punts? Because we had, when we sat with him, he like started just listing the best punts he's ever seen.

Speaker 1 And I think he loves punts more than any other part of football.

Speaker 8 Most important playing football, he'd say.

Speaker 8 Every series needs to end with

Speaker 8 some type of kick. And no, it was quite unique.

Speaker 8 You know, as I got, that's kind of the way I, you know, I don't say I brought up, but being a conservative by nature, that obviously 10, 11 years with Coach Tress,

Speaker 8 one of the unique things is I, you know, came here, I had to kind of try to find a way after year one to change my mindset, you know, because that's ingrained in you.

Speaker 8 And so we have, we have, I have adjusted, adjusted and adapted to,

Speaker 8 you know, not being, not saying a punt's not important, but

Speaker 8 not trying to end every series with some version of a punt or kick.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but he does really, he's very passionate about it. He came to life when he was talking about punts.

Speaker 1 He says the only play in football that starts with the offense touching it and ends with the defense touching it and the defense becomes the offense.

Speaker 1 It's like, wow, that's, I've never thought of it that way, but it's very true. But yeah, he's got like an encyclopedia of punts all set up in his head.
And yeah, we love getting to visit with him. And

Speaker 1 I'm impressed with what you've done at Cincinnati and especially like going to Cincinnati. I think you were ranked as like the top defensive coach sabermetrically, like in all of college football.

Speaker 1 Do you have any, did you have any of those insights into what kind of analytics they were putting in?

Speaker 1 I think I saw somebody say they ran 100,000 simulations of college football games and you were the best coach. Do you have any insight into that data?

Speaker 8 No, I know.

Speaker 8 Believe me, my mind does not think quite like that. And

Speaker 8 some of that is way above

Speaker 8 me. It's funny because we were just talking about Mike, and obviously the NFL is so far, I'm not saying advanced because college football is

Speaker 8 going to another level as well, but you know, with all their own analytics and they have their own analytics departments.

Speaker 8 And so I actually called him about two weeks ago and started to ask him on a few of these analytic things that because we're similar-minded.

Speaker 8 And sometimes these analytics, you're just like, you have these guys come in and present to you. They've never played a game of football in their life.
They know nothing about emotion.

Speaker 8 They know nothing about like, you know, if it's raining out or, you know, where you are in the game. Like, it's strictly numbers.
And so I started asking about that.

Speaker 8 He started to go like, I don't deal with some of that crap. I mean, you know, there's a lot of things that just wholeheartedly are in your mind and in your heart.

Speaker 8 And, you know, so I think that similar in some ways to us, I didn't run it to see where I best bid or whatever those things were.

Speaker 8 And, you know, and sometimes in games like that, they don't have a whole lot of time to, you know. to go ask your analytics guy upstairs that uh is crunching the numbers.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 We play this game with every guest we have on. We'll go around the room.
I'll start. PFT will go second and then you'll go third.

Speaker 1 It's called Predict Cincinnati's schedule and what their final record is going to be. I'm going to say

Speaker 1 regular season, I'm going to say they're going to go 11 and 1.

Speaker 1 I think they're going to go 10 and 2. I have a surprise loss against Navy.

Speaker 1 That offense is tough to prepare for. Okay, and coach, you're up.

Speaker 8 We'll play for a championship.

Speaker 1 Oh, well, usually the guest gives us a number.

Speaker 1 We'll get a number. Yeah, we did this last week with who'd we have online? Andrew Schultz, the comedian.
He said that you guys were going to go 11 and 1, too.

Speaker 8 I wore 99 in college. What other numbers would you like? I got a bunch of kids.
I could read you all. They got numbers, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 8 My wife's got a phone number. I don't know it, but I could bring out my phone and try to look it up.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.
So, like 10, 11 wins, somewhere around there. Yeah, that sounds right.
Yeah, that sounds about right. There you go.

Speaker 1 How soon in the season do you start preparing if you're going up against a service academy? We love watching those offenses.

Speaker 8 Oh, God, I don't. But yes,

Speaker 8 we do it in spring. We'll do it in our little OTA stuff.
And then we'll do it every third night out of camp. So every third night we'll do a triple option.
So we actually have two of those.

Speaker 8 We have two triple option teams this year.

Speaker 1 Navy being one. Are you ready for the fact it is unique that you guys are in your league for this last season?

Speaker 1 You do know that like you have the built-in excuse of like, oh, the refs were mean to us because we're going to the Big Twelve. We can do that for you.

Speaker 1 We can just say that for you if you'd like, because you can't say it, but if you want us to do it, it will just cost, I don't know, like a couple million bucks.

Speaker 8 Well, we've been one of the most penalized teams over the last five years in college football. So I don't know that this one year with us maybe leaving,

Speaker 8 we can use that as an excuse of like, well, hold on, it's a trend. You guys have been the most penalized team in college football over the last five.

Speaker 8 So I don't know that this officials are going to have as great an impact on throwing flags against you guys because they do anyway. Yeah.

Speaker 8 So, but we are, I do feel like we're a man without a country at times. Yeah.

Speaker 8 With a lot of the things that are going on and everybody kind of sticking tight with their, with their, you know, with their leagues,

Speaker 8 you know, we don't have as much communication and connection. And, you know, quite frankly, sometimes I feel left out.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
That is sad. Wait, so how do you fix the penalty thing? That's interesting because like that's is it does it drive you crazy or are you like, no, we've had success, it's okay.

Speaker 8 No, it drives us.

Speaker 8 I mean, like, I always tell them, Look, I don't want to be the least penalized team in the country because if you're the least penalized team, to me, you're playing a little bit more passive.

Speaker 8 Like, well, look, if we get a personal foul, we're playing through the whistle at everything we do, we're going to be aggressive, which things are going to happen.

Speaker 8 But guys, I would prefer us not to be in the bottom, you know, 2% of the nation every year. But so, last year, we were only, I think, 70th in yards per game.
Okay.

Speaker 8 But we still were like 120th in penalties per game.

Speaker 8 So that, if you don't know what that means, you can ask your analytics guy that's probably back there going, hey, hey, hey, that's because they make some stupid penalties before the ball snap, jumping off sides and false starting.

Speaker 8 So hopefully we can figure out ways to change that a little bit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I wonder why that is. I wonder why.
Let's just say, we'll say that the refs have it out for you already. There you go.
My theory

Speaker 1 is that it's a lingering carryover effect from Cincinnati basketball. Going back to some of the brawls that Mick Cronin's guys got in, Bob Hoggins.
Mick Cronin. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 They see the Cincinnati logo and they're like, oh, these guys play violent. They add a little extra 10% on, so we're going to be on the lookout for them.
I would blame the basketball program.

Speaker 8 You know what? I think that's a good idea. I think that's a good idea.
They've been holding us back for a while now.

Speaker 1 Yep. It's always good to have a scapegoat ready to go.

Speaker 1 Got it.

Speaker 8 You got to have that crutch. You got to have that crutch.

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Speaker 1 Okay, last question. And I love to ask these type of questions because we see the game from a different angle of like the human element.
This year, you're in Ohio State.

Speaker 1 You know, you went to Ohio State. You coached there.
You got a bunch of friends, family, everything. I'm sure that the rivalry is very important to you.
But this year, Michigan beats Ohio State.

Speaker 1 Was there a small, maybe 1% of you, that was happy because now you're not the last time that Michigan beat Ohio State as the interim head coach?

Speaker 1 Like the human element, you got to be like, finally, people will stop bringing up 2011.

Speaker 8 You know what? I never thought about it. Yeah.
I'm glad that you brought that up because I last year, so we played on a Friday. We played Friday.
And then obviously that game was on Saturday.

Speaker 8 So we played Friday night. And so we're actually a great day because we got to sit out back and I was watching the game with my kids.
And I got two twin seven-year-olds, right?

Speaker 8 And they literally looked at me and said, Dad, we're rooting for Michigan. I said, what do you mean?

Speaker 8 He's like, well, you know, if not, you know, obviously we want to be, we want to move ahead, you know, because they were looking at the rankings.

Speaker 8 And I look at it, literally, had to look at it and say, no, we don't ever root for board of you guys. Crazy? What are we doing? No, that's that's our Twelve Mamater.

Speaker 8 And so, but if I had thought about it like that, I would have been like, darn right. Yeah, I don't want to be the last guy to have lost.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's got to be like it's a silver lining of like people will stop bringing up 2011. Yeah, there you go.
Thank God.

Speaker 8 Wonder I stopped getting those text messages and emails.

Speaker 8 Somebody else will send them to now.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes yeah you're no longer featured in that little graphic that they show on the bottom of the screen every time the game's on and said with interim coach luke fickle yeah yeah

Speaker 8 oh i didn't realize that now what now now i got it now i know exactly why the those messages have stopped coming to me that's great that they've got somebody else to send them to awesome yeah

Speaker 1 i have one last last question because i I'm always curious about what a bear cat is every time I see the name bearcat because I've never seen a bear cat. Do you have a bear cat?

Speaker 1 Is there one on campus?

Speaker 8 It's actually housed at the Cincinnati Zoo just down the street.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, not in Brombe.

Speaker 1 Get it out.

Speaker 1 Get out.

Speaker 1 Careful.

Speaker 1 Don't you know? So we can bring them out whenever needed.

Speaker 8 Vicious, though, so I don't know. If you guys come to higher ground, I promise you, I'll have the bearcat out there that day.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I mean, this is a, you're putting on a hell of a sell here. Yeah.
And you have to

Speaker 1 don't make us eat Skyline and we'll be fine. I'll eat Skyline.

Speaker 8 We're in Indiana, so we actually go across the border there.

Speaker 1 To get away from Skyline, I like that.

Speaker 8 You don't have to eat Skyline if you come to West Harris in Indiana.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes. Well, Coach, this has been awesome.
We really appreciate your time. We will take you up on it.
It might not be this year, but I think next year we got to come. Okay.
All right. You got it.

Speaker 8 I'll send you the schedule. Awesome.

Speaker 1 Thanks so much, Coach. Thanks, Coach.
All right, man. Thanks for having me.

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's wrap up. We got Mount Rushmore.
Fruit.

Speaker 1 Who won the last one?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 Why don't Jacob? No, Hank. Hey, can you look it up? Who won the last one?

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 okay. Nice.
Nice. Thanks for running up the score.
All right, so we get to choose who goes first. Yeah.
I think we go third. Yeah, I don't want to go first.

Speaker 1 This draft is deep.

Speaker 1 Real deep. Fruits

Speaker 1 are.

Speaker 1 We could do double fruit draft. Also, for the record, before

Speaker 1 the record of having Hank, who shut the fuck up first, I fucked

Speaker 1 10 to 20,000 times the followers as the rest of the groups. Oh, wow.
I would say that makes no sense.

Speaker 1 No, yeah, it's cool. I actually have an idea.
Why don't we just make it nameless and make it team one, team two, team two?

Speaker 1 Okay, well, I recall suggesting that a couple years ago, and then Hank not having such a good reaction. No, that was Big Cat, but you're just saying that because you don't want to get your team upset.

Speaker 1 But Big Cat was the one that

Speaker 1 said we should. No, I never said, no, I said no to no to whoever said we shouldn't vote.
That was PFT. Yeah, I said we should vote.
I never said no to nameless. I said voting.

Speaker 1 That's a fact, Jack. Well, what I'm saying about this fruit situation.
We're just realizing PFT offered up different ideas to just change every. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because you guys don't want to do it yourself. No, because I'm just an ideas guy.
I'm just throwing ideas out left and right.

Speaker 1 So for this draft, I want to be able to. So flex when you have a fucking potato.
Please shut the fuck up. Please shut the fuck up.
Seriously.

Speaker 1 This is exactly what Mount Rushworth should be in August. But Hank needs to learn how to shut the fuck up.
Cut each other's throat. Get it.
Say it again.

Speaker 1 Shut the fuck up.

Speaker 1 You and your fucking team with Batgirl.

Speaker 1 All right. So what I was going to say about the fruit is

Speaker 1 we talked about this a little bit earlier. I don't think that bullshit fruits like tomatoes and avocados should be on this list.
Agreed. The tomatoes should not be on this list.
No, no, no.

Speaker 1 We're talking about real fruit. No, no, no, no, no.
What defines a real fruit? Yeah, I know. I know you love the seeds.
The difference. No, no, no.
That's the first time.

Speaker 1 All right, then define a real fruit. Define a real fruit.

Speaker 1 I want the regular.

Speaker 1 You can't look me in the eye and say that a tomato is a fruit.

Speaker 1 A tomato is literally built almost exactly the same as

Speaker 1 a. It's a fruit.
Don't give any spoilers away, dude. Yeah.
But you almost said a fruit. Dude, I had all those, like, you know, off-brand fruits.
Yeah, no, they're.

Speaker 1 You guys can use those. We're not going to lower ourselves.
I'm going to hit you with a off-brand fruit that's. Oh, you off.

Speaker 1 I'll hit you with one that you're going to fucking cry when you're going to be. I bet Jake's really excited about your weirdo choice that you're about to make.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this is going to, you're going to, you've already lost a draft. Dude, it's you've already lost one.
So you know what?

Speaker 1 We're just trying to be unique and have fun because,

Speaker 1 as you said,

Speaker 1 Billy, I know,

Speaker 1 Billy.

Speaker 1 I mean, look, you guys have powerful retweets. Yes.
Okay, Billy, I won't retweet this one, but I just want you to know that Dingleberry is not a fruit. So don't try to pick that.
Darn. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. Billy, you guys go first.

Speaker 1 And then Hank, memes, and backgirl go second, and then we'll go third.

Speaker 1 This is just me and memes tonight, but

Speaker 1 we'll get back early. We'll get back on Friday.
This is so fun to do.

Speaker 4 All right, we're going to start off

Speaker 1 with

Speaker 1 Batgirl on Friday. I'm so happy he called his family.
Like, oh, yeah, I'm going to be the producer of party.

Speaker 1 Fucking one episode in Batgirl.

Speaker 1 No, you're Batgirl now.

Speaker 4 We're going to start off with bananas. I feel like bananas are.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Good. That's bananas.
Sure.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Those top books are an excellent.
No, you just know.

Speaker 1 No, listen. You're good.
No, no, that's a good, that's a good pick. You took.
Super fruity. No, and you took it.
Yeah, it is.

Speaker 1 You took an offensive lineman with 1-1. That's a good pick.
Sometimes you need that. You're a champion.
It's a solid pick. Yeah, no, it is.
It's perfect.

Speaker 1 All right, we're going to go with

Speaker 1 a flashy star.

Speaker 1 Best fruit, especially this time of year. No-brainer.
Also, the best fruit flavor for drinks. So that should be factored into watermelon.
Okay, good choice. Good choice.

Speaker 1 That is a flashy wide receiver.

Speaker 1 That's a great way to describe it.

Speaker 1 We had watermelon.

Speaker 1 That was our high one. That was my number two overall selection.
So I vote we go

Speaker 1 maybe the first one that I listed.

Speaker 1 Yeah, definitely.

Speaker 1 Easy. Okay, easy.
This is easy. This right here, flex on him.

Speaker 1 It's probably not a wide receiver. I'd say this is a quarterback.
This is a surefire can't miss quarterback. Strawberry.

Speaker 1 The mighty strawberry. Delicious.
Strawberry. Versatile.
You can put it in any meal, basically. Put

Speaker 1 smoothies covered in chocolate. The best in smoothies.
Yeah. The best in smoothies.
I think every smoothie has strawberry in it. But on its own? Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, Hank.
I don't know. I don't know.

Speaker 1 Have you ever been seductively fed a watermelon on your own? What do you mean on its own? Are you eating?

Speaker 1 Are you just blendering just a banana straight? No, I'm saying all your no, but I eat bananas, I raw dog bananas like it's my job. Strawberry all day.
I raw dog watermelon like it's my job. Hey, hey.

Speaker 1 Strawberries all day. PFT, you're the biggest hypocrite ever.
Yes, Billy. A strawberry is a false fruit.
Oh.

Speaker 1 It is not a fucking fruit. It's not beer.

Speaker 1 It's a fruit.

Speaker 4 Strawberry is a fruit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there you go. No, but technically,

Speaker 1 if you want to get picky about fruit, it is not. It is a...

Speaker 1 In the strawberry, the flower has many separate carpals embedded on the flower base or receptacle the fleshy part of the bit we eat is solely made from receptacle tissue so it is a false fruit hey billy guess what it's a false fruit a strawberry is actually a multiple fruit bitch it's a false fruit

Speaker 1 fruit uh pft should we go with the one that we forgot or the fourth on the tier one list i sent you i think those are our two selections tough you can't go wrong with either one you can't go wrong with either i think

Speaker 1 I mean the one that you sent most recently,

Speaker 1 that's a flashy. Okay, all right, yeah, let's go flash.

Speaker 1 Pineapple. Great fruit.

Speaker 1 We had that nice fruit. I think.
And makes...

Speaker 1 Why? I just bonked you. Explain.
Why? Because you just were about to say it.

Speaker 1 Say what? I was going to say it was. It makes you big and strong.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 vitamin C. I didn't say it.
It's your immune system. It's a great house.

Speaker 1 What was the bonk for? I'm confused.

Speaker 1 I was just going to say, only thing about pineapple is it makes you want to eat more pineapple because that's how good pineapple is it makes stuff taste good what like you like smoothies and

Speaker 1 like candies and

Speaker 1 this is good you're helping our pick and

Speaker 1 what else gametes oh what kind of gametes

Speaker 1 the male kind uh-huh oh sperm You said it. Well, no, you said male gametes.

Speaker 1 What does it taste like? Yeah, what does it taste like? How do you know?

Speaker 1 Oh, Jesus Christ.

Speaker 4 Pineapple juice is delicious.

Speaker 1 Delicious.

Speaker 1 Delicious. Yeah.
Pineapple is a tier one fruit. It can be garnished, too.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Good.

Speaker 1 We had that. We had that if you didn't take it.
Yeah. Pineapple skewers on the barbecue? So good.
A little sour, though. It can be a little, you know.

Speaker 1 You know what I like? I don't know what pineapples you're eating, brother. When they wheel out like the whole hog that's being barbecued and it's got pineapples on it.
pineapple on pizza, delicious.

Speaker 1 I will say, sometimes pineapples, I love pineapples and pizza. Pineapple pieces.
No, this is because you have mouth herpes, what you're about to say. No, yeah, you feel like you have canker sores.

Speaker 1 You have mouth herpes. No, like sometimes you take it,

Speaker 1 it can have a weird texture, but I'm a huge pineapple fan, so I'm not going to knock it. I just don't know if it was worth that high of a pick.
But you just said you were going to take it.

Speaker 1 We are going to go with orange. Good choice.
Okay. That was going to be

Speaker 1 the most refreshing, you know, not great flavor,

Speaker 1 and it's very versatile. Yeah.
And similar to watermelon, probably the second best fruit flavor. Like, obviously, drinks,

Speaker 1 it's just, it's orange goes with everything. Orange soda, orange Gatorade.

Speaker 1 Oranges are probably also the number one nostalgia fruit because you know, eat it, you know, when you're playing, like, soccer or whatever as a kid. Oh, yeah, good for halftime.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Only downside to the orange. Well, no, I'm, I'm not going to talk shit about another man's pick.
I thought that was a good pick, Inc. Thank you.
What would you have said if we had picked orange?

Speaker 1 If you brush your teeth, you can't be

Speaker 1 gross. Like, really? And I brush my teeth a lot because I have good dental hygiene.
Hank with his canker sores might not. I'd say that goes to pretty much anything.

Speaker 1 If you do brush your teeth, then it's pretty tough to do.

Speaker 1 What can you do right after you brush your teeth? A lot of things, everything.

Speaker 1 Go ahead, Billy.

Speaker 1 I have a question for the group. I would like, I don't know how we could do this blindly.

Speaker 1 Maybe

Speaker 1 everyone close their eyes and put up a one

Speaker 1 for pulp and a two for no pulp. Batgirl, you watch everyone's.

Speaker 1 I just want to see because I think this is a. It's a one for pulp, two for not pulp.
We'll say it out loud, obviously. Are we eyes shut?

Speaker 1 Everyone close their eyes, put up your pick, and then back girl, say everyone's pick around the room.

Speaker 1 What's the choice again? One is pulp, two is no pulp.

Speaker 1 Someone's very indecisive. Uh-oh.

Speaker 1 Okay. It's me.

Speaker 1 I like

Speaker 1 it. I like no pulp.
Go. A little bit of pulp.
Go.

Speaker 1 One is the winner. All across.
Oh, no. Billy and Hank.
Very close. Billy and Hank are pussies.
They want no pulp. I like a little bit of pulp.
I love pulp. You need a little pulp.

Speaker 1 I don't like the pulp at the bottom of the box. No, you can't go.
Max pulp is for psychos. You got to have a little pulp till you know it's a real world.

Speaker 4 I don't know why I feel this way, but I feel like

Speaker 1 it is.

Speaker 4 I feel like once I hit puberty, I started liking pulp.

Speaker 1 I don't know if it's like like a maturity thing or not. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You started noticing pulp.

Speaker 4 I just feel like as I got older and more mature, I was fine with pulp.

Speaker 1 You started getting pulp in places you never wanted that.

Speaker 1 Oh my god. Okay, Jake.
It's one of those off-the-rail shows.

Speaker 1 It's very fun.

Speaker 1 I'm having a lot of fun. I am a firm believer.
You got to have a little pulp. Again, max pulp is crazy.
You got to have a little pulp. Orange juice is weird when it's like totally smooth.
Yes.

Speaker 1 It's creepy. It's kind of like pubes in that way.
It's like you got to have a little landing strip in your own shit. You gotta have some pulp

Speaker 1 Not me. Okay Not you Billy? I feel like you would you would like appreciate the pulp you're you'd be man enough to have the pulp now if I'm drinking a liquid I want liquid got it What about mimosa?

Speaker 1 I'm kind of like team no pulp if it's a mimosa. Well, yeah, that's different.
That's a different drink altogether. Yeah.
Okay

Speaker 1 go ahead. Our pick is grapes.

Speaker 1 Grapes. Deadly.
Used to make wine

Speaker 1 kills dogs. Used to make wine.
Kills dogs. Deadly.

Speaker 1 If If you have a dog and you have a dog to your house to make a weapon. Same thing with raisins, which are just dried up.
Wine. Raisins, another benefit.

Speaker 1 I do like grapes a lot, but I did not put them on my list because I knew that was going to come in.

Speaker 1 Dog killers.

Speaker 1 Our other pets are.

Speaker 1 Green or purple, Billy. Oh.

Speaker 1 I feel like this is a cock dancer, too. Cock dancing is delicious, but obviously, like, you can't eat them exclusively because you get sick of them.

Speaker 1 This might be a great test

Speaker 1 a person. Green or purple?

Speaker 1 I actually hate fruit.

Speaker 1 I literally hate all fruit.

Speaker 1 Okay, Hank, you green or purple? Purple. Purple.
All day. All day.
Green. Yeah, I'm green.
Oh, really? I'm green. Okay.

Speaker 1 Split it back, girl. What do you got? Purple or green? Green all day.
Oh, yeah, there we go. Okay.

Speaker 4 All right. Our third pick.

Speaker 1 Billy, just like this, this Mount Rushmore bores me.

Speaker 1 You know what blows my mind about grapes is that we've all agreed what the flavor of grape is, if it's in a candy or if it's in a soda, and it tastes nothing like what a grape is. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's just the color. Correct.
Like, the purple has a taste. Purple is a grape.
Yeah, it's purple. You know that banana flavor that is in all the candies? That's from an extinct type of banana.
Ooh.

Speaker 1 It seems like a pretty wasteful use of an extinct banana. No, no, but they like when they made the artificial flavor for banana, it's from that extinct flavor of banana.

Speaker 1 So that's why it tastes different than real banana. Also, were any of you as kids

Speaker 1 just you heard that one person told you that the spiders in the grapes and then you were scared forever? No, is that just me? I just heard that I eat spiders when I sleep. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was in like one of my agendas. There's something about spiders.
Spiders and peanut butter. Really? I heard spiders and grapes.
I feel like that's just...

Speaker 1 Everyone just learns about spiders in something and then it just kind of traumatizes you. I haven't had a grape since 1992.

Speaker 4 Our next pick will be something that probably has the most variety of any fruit in the the world.

Speaker 1 It's apples. It's a bold claim.
It's a solid fruit.

Speaker 4 There's red, there's green, there's yellow, there's mixes. There's got to be like an apple score of me out there.

Speaker 1 Who would be a teacher pet with apples? You definitely gave the teacher apples. Never in my life, I swear.
You had a nice, shiny one. You gave it to your teacher.
I don't mind the pick.

Speaker 1 I feel like it's a good value pick at this. Third round because

Speaker 1 an apple is a staple. It's like

Speaker 1 probably the most common fruit to have in houses. I just don't know if I'm...
I've never really craved an apple, but it is a staple.

Speaker 4 Sliced apple is so much easier.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah. No mess.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 1 You guys are. I feel unbelievable about our draft.
You know, this was a risk. Well, you missed pineapple.
It's, well, no, I didn't get it, but we got to see it.

Speaker 1 Which is actually probably the superior pick because you guys were debating, and you probably, when he said,

Speaker 1 you guys wanted to take orange juice. No, we actually both wanted to take pineapple.
I like the preamble to this pick, but we could move it along a little bit. That'd be great.

Speaker 1 Candeloupe. Oh,

Speaker 1 that was your pick. That was what you got.
Cantaloupe is fantastic. I would have put it at the top of the page.
It's just like a victory lap that's. Yes, that's a genius draft pick.

Speaker 1 All my cantaloupees will know what it's all about. Could have been at the top of my draft board for my personal favorite fruits to eat.
It's delicious. It's succulent.
Is it?

Speaker 1 And it's just, yeah, it's juicy, yummy, refreshing cantaloupe. Okay, but if you're going to eat a cantaloupe, there's a reason why they serve it to you in like the thinnest slice possible.

Speaker 1 And you only eat it like once every year, probably.

Speaker 1 No, I mean, how often do you eat cantaloupe?

Speaker 1 my dad's a big cantaloupe guy so we had there's always there was cantaloupe in the fridge a decent amount and i would eat them i think that's an insane pick but that's fine yeah i mean it's it's it didn't make my board i like i i wouldn't turn down cantaloupe but isn't like it's a pretty negative fruit also isn't what bill you don't even fucking eat fruit

Speaker 1 fruit tell me shut it up again hank

Speaker 1 green or purple i don't like cantaloupe wait i have a question is it is honeydew melon that's just better cantaloupe right is melon? It's it's different, it's like the green one, yeah.

Speaker 1 That's better, right? He's got a better name. Yeah, so yeah, I like that.
Cantaloupe helps you grow. Is that a fact? Yeah, from memes, just text me that.

Speaker 1 Oh, he's oh, he's listening and trying to was it. Was cantaloupe memes pick? No, I said I think we're gonna go cantaloupes.
He said, I'm thinking cantaloupe as well.

Speaker 1 Wow, interesting. No, I was thinking cantaloupe.
Okay, all right. So, PFT, we have two picks here.
This is, these are a big two picks. I just texted you three things: cantaloupe is a sweet melon.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. Suck it.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay. What do you think? I do like the first one that you sent over.

Speaker 1 Well, we have three picks. We have two picks and three fruits that are all dynamite fruits.
Like, knock your socks off fruits. Okay, so I love the first one.
I love the last one, too. I know.

Speaker 1 And I love the second one.

Speaker 1 Well, I know the second one.

Speaker 1 It's a risk. It's a risk.
All right. Like, how long are you going to do this for? Okay, all right.

Speaker 1 All right, our next pick, our next pick, our next pick. Our next pick is blueberries.
Blueberries, easy pick. Blueberries are delicious.
No one doesn't like blueberries. Rich in antioxidant.

Speaker 1 The best in a pie. Yes, blueberries.

Speaker 1 Muffins. Oh, yeah.
I got about muffins. Put a little on your cereal.
Delicious.

Speaker 1 Delicious. Blueberry pie.
Delicious. Okay, so PFT, go ahead.
I am here. I know what.
No, no, no, no, no, no. Before you say anything, I just want to say to you, I support you 100%.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 This is my favorite fruit maybe in the world. Nectarines.

Speaker 1 Nectarines are delicious. Go off.
They're basically an orange. Go off.

Speaker 1 You don't know what a nectarine is, bro. The nectarine is.

Speaker 1 If you had said basically a peach, you would have been right. It's the same species.
Yeah, yeah. But if I'm, no, but it's also got some peach elements to it.
Yeah. It's a different fruit.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 If I'm doing just a pure draft, if I'm like, if I have a big board and I'm not drafting by need, I'm just saying best player available. Number one to me is nectarine.
Nectarine.

Speaker 1 I think it's the best fruit in the entire world. Delicious.
I had a nectarine last weekend. I came my pants.
Yeah. Delicious.
I came. I'm not ashamed to do it.
I believe it. I saw it.
All right.

Speaker 1 Well, with our last pick, we got my favorite. Great pick, DFT.
Thanks, Big Cat. Peach.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay, Nectarine.
JV nectarine. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, it's a good pick.

Speaker 1 If nectarines are better, why do peaches sell more?

Speaker 1 Because they're more exclusive. Why do more people watch the Big Bang theory than arrested development?

Speaker 1 Good question. Because one's on TV and one's not.
Hank, you know, they were both on TV. Hitler had millions of followers.
Jesus only had 12. That's true.
I'm sorry to interrupt. What, what? Say it.

Speaker 1 Say it.

Speaker 4 Billy just said, just trust me.

Speaker 1 I love it. Buckle up.
He's going full send. All right.
Yeah, no, peaches are fine, but nectarines are better.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You forgot about blueberries. I'm a big blueberry guy.

Speaker 1 You sure about that? Yeah. Listen, Calibes, I would rank Canal Obes

Speaker 1 if it was my personal malware spoon there at the top. Wow.
Okay. Billy.

Speaker 1 This is the full send Billy.

Speaker 1 I'm so excited. This.

Speaker 1 look, you guys are going to hear it and you're going to be like, whoa.

Speaker 1 But.

Speaker 1 Will we know what it is? Yes. Okay.
That's a good start.

Speaker 1 Corn.

Speaker 1 Oh, God.

Speaker 1 Corn is a fruit.

Speaker 4 Can you guys be there with that?

Speaker 1 Is it? I'll let Billy say whatever he wants. No, no, no.
No. That's right.
That's going on the graphic.

Speaker 1 I think it's a vegetable.

Speaker 1 Corn is a fruit.

Speaker 1 It's like a vegetable. If you look it up, corn is a fruit.
It has fruit qualities. Wait, that doesn't doesn't mean it's a fruit.
No, it has qualities of a fruit. Fruit is fruit curious.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, no, it has. So the kernels, corn,

Speaker 1 are

Speaker 1 fruit.

Speaker 1 Isn't it a grain?

Speaker 1 The first question. It's got to be a grain.
So the first question on Google is, why is corn not a fruit? An ear of corn is not technically a fruit. Instead, each kernel is a fruit.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 But that's not. So you're taking one kernel, one single kernel of corn.
It's like a single corner.

Speaker 1 We're

Speaker 1 So, are you taking one strawberry? One minuscule part of the strawberry? Yeah,

Speaker 1 we're taking a strawberry. No, if you had a taste test.
But remember, remember, you're taking a kernel. But you only eat kernels of corn.
No, no, no. You don't eat corn.

Speaker 1 No, if we did, if we put this all out in the kitchen and we said, here's everything, you get one cantaloupe, you get one blueberry, you get one strawberry, you get one nectarine, and you get one kernel of corn.

Speaker 1 There's kernels of corn that are bigger than one blueberry. Okay, that's fine, but you still, like, blueberry has a lot of taste in it.
Corn does not have taste. Corn is very sweet.

Speaker 1 They're a great band, too. Butter.
I love corn. Corn.
I ever saw fruit. I saw fruit.
You can eat multiple corn.

Speaker 4 All right, so you guys vetoed it, so we're going with that.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 He gets a single kernel of corn.

Speaker 1 I know you might be out there, and you might be like me and not really like fruit, but love corn. And you're going to vote for Team Jilly because of corn.

Speaker 1 And there's some of you who might just love corn in general. Who are you talking to? I'm talking to the corn lovers of America.
Who are going to vote for for us.

Speaker 1 Tris got your vote. Bring Team Jilly to our first W this season

Speaker 1 because of corn. No, we have a class every time.

Speaker 1 But corn will bring us there.

Speaker 1 Trust in corn. Okay.
So a single kernel of corn is going on the Mount Rush world. No, no, corn.
It's just corn. Yes.
No,

Speaker 1 corn is what I just say. You're scared of corn.
No, no, no, no. You are scared of corn.
Corn is actually a vegetable. That's what it says.
And then a single kernel of corn is a corn.

Speaker 1 So that's like saying the stalk of a strawberry is a vegetable.

Speaker 1 No, no, no.

Speaker 1 You said you get the strawberry. No, no, no.
But when, no, the corn is a vegetable. No, no, corn.
Colonel is a fruit. Corn is a fruit.
Great pick. Corn.
Great pick, Billy.

Speaker 1 I think it's a good pick. On the graphic, four letters.
C-O,

Speaker 1 R-N. K-O.
K-O backwards R-N.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we'll do that. If you put corn, the band on there, you might actually get more votes.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 I'm down down with that. Corn.

Speaker 1 If you ask someone, like, can you pick up some fruits at the grocery store? Do you think anyone comes across corn? In Billy's defense, sweet corn is really good. Corn?

Speaker 1 I noticed because I'm scared of corn. Corn is one of my favorite foods of all time.
I'm not corn. Corn is not

Speaker 1 fruit. It's not fruit.
No, I know.

Speaker 1 You're scared of corn on there because corn might win. I'm shaking him.
Bill Murray gift. Okay.

Speaker 1 Why did we have that big knockdown drag out earlier about tomatoes? If you guys didn't even pick them. Well, I was.

Speaker 1 And you were going to pick corn instead. Yeah.
Oh, you were afraid that the bullshit vegetable rule would apply to corn. Ah, that's why.
You were protecting future picks.

Speaker 1 Okay, we missed a lot. The one we were deciding between pear got missed.
Pear's delicious. I like pear.

Speaker 1 The only reason I didn't pick it, besides the fact I'm not sure. Shout out to pears is

Speaker 1 pears, pears can sometimes get mealy. Yeah.
Yeah. Be a little bit mealy.
That's true.

Speaker 1 Blueberry, I think, is more consistent than I was going to pick before I did peach kind of trolley we're gonna go cherry cherry's a good pick i like cherries raspberries are good raspberries blueberries are good no avocado yeah we didn't pick limes limes i didn't know if we were gonna open the door to like a play on word for fruit so like fruit snacks fruit by the foot means want to do the catholic church for our last pick

Speaker 1 blue raspberry fruity pebbles Yeah, blue raspberry, white cherry.

Speaker 1 Things that don't actually exist in the fruit. But are delicious.
We know what they taste like. Yeah, we know exactly what they taste like.
Mystery flavors. Ices.

Speaker 1 Um, I'm trying to think what other fruits did we forget. Uh, fruit punch, fruit demar,

Speaker 1 uh, let's see, fruit demar.

Speaker 1 Wait, what else? Mangoes, oh, mangoes, great one, clementines, yeah. I love clementines are better than oranges, I think.

Speaker 1 Easier, good point, Jake. Clementines are better than oranges, they're easier.
I think tangerines are better, too.

Speaker 1 Plums, dragon fruits, fruits are good, dragon fruit, starred fruit, passion fruit, guava.

Speaker 1 You just keep naming fruits. I'm just naming high noons.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Papaya. Lemon.

Speaker 1 Yeah, lemon. Lemon.

Speaker 1 Grapefruit, trash. Thank you.
I'm not a big grapefruit guy. Coconuts?

Speaker 1 Are those fruits?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Aren't they? What are you going to say, fruit expert? I think they're seeds, so that doesn't make them a fruit. But you know what? Like,

Speaker 1 they are fruits. They are, but they aren't.
I think they're seeds. Fruit flavor.
So a nut. Yeah, they're a nut.
Apricots.

Speaker 1 Again, second, a far distant second to the mighty nectarine.

Speaker 1 We cover the good ones. I actually think blackberries might be the big.
I like blackberries a lot. Blackberries are very good.
Pears are also very good. All right, anything else?

Speaker 1 That was a good Mount Rushmore.

Speaker 1 Very good.

Speaker 1 I feel good about this show overall. I feel like Billy and Jake are going to get their first win.
Do you think so? With corn? Corner. Corn seeds.
Look at how many corn listeners we have.

Speaker 1 If corn is is four letters c-o-r-n on the graphic i think we're gonna go all right so then we have to have it be that yep yeah that's fine

Speaker 1 what are you gonna put on there how many how many

Speaker 1 how many how much corn are you gonna eat if you lose

Speaker 1 we

Speaker 1 i mean look

Speaker 1 big corn is gonna pull us through they're out there okay ethanol exactly get the oil lobby to weigh in on this one billy if you lose i want to see you eat five pounds of corn no what?

Speaker 1 Five pounds of corn. I want to see five pounds of corn.
What happens if we win?

Speaker 1 Big cats of corn.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Big Cat. If you're going to put it up for him, you got to be able to take the same risk.
Well, I didn't say he's going to win,

Speaker 1 but he said he's going to win. I didn't

Speaker 1 say I'm going to win. Are you scared of five pounds of corn? Do you guys want to see me fail another eating challenge or have another man? Yeah, no, no, I would do

Speaker 1 it. Sounds like Bit Kat's scared of five pounds of corn.
I think corn is corn. I think you guys should not have to do it.
I think you're scared of your draft.

Speaker 1 That was a perfect example of Billy just talking his way out of what seemed like a surefire win at the moment.

Speaker 1 Nobody out there wants to see me feel another eating challenge. They'll all vote for you.

Speaker 1 All right. How about a pound of corn? I'm talking about, by the way, after

Speaker 1 loose corn, not

Speaker 1 ears. Yeah, not ears of corn.
Curls. A pound of corn.

Speaker 1 We'll go a pound of corn.

Speaker 1 Pound of.

Speaker 1 Is a pound of corn a lot? I don't know. Yeah, a pound of corn.
Pound of corn. I'm going to do it.

Speaker 1 How much is one?

Speaker 1 How much is one cup of corn?

Speaker 1 Five cups of corn we have to eat. Not do a pound.
No, five pounds of corn.

Speaker 1 But it's five cups.

Speaker 1 You can do a pound. No, I know.
I'm saying it's five cups more than a pound. A pound is, I don't know.
What's a pound of corn or a. I'm saying five.
If I'm comfortable with betting five cups of corn.

Speaker 1 What size cups? Like measuring? No, like the ones we order. The corn.
I'm thinking of the corn that we get from. Oh, the

Speaker 1 cup of corn.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no. Hank knows exactly.
Yeah, no, I'm not. Street corn.
Street corn. Ooh, street corn.
What's that mixed with?

Speaker 1 All kinds of shit. We'll figure it out.
We'll figure it out. Just make a single case.
Someone don't do it. Well, no, I want to eat a lot of corn.
I don't know how much a pound of corn is.

Speaker 1 I'll eat a pound of corn. You know, let's just enjoy corn.
New segment, cornography.

Speaker 1 All right. Pound of corn.
Okay. Deal.
Let's go. You have to win.
I'm voting for.

Speaker 1 Oh, so you're going to.

Speaker 1 Vote for Billy. So are you going to tamper? Well, yeah.
Are you tampering? I'm fully going to tamper.

Speaker 1 And we're going to combine followers and not even still be close to you guys. So if they win, then that's on you guys.
Okay. Great.
No one's listening to you. You're close to a million.

Speaker 4 You're very close to a million.

Speaker 1 Seven. A million, what? Twitter followers.
Thank you, Jake. Yeah.
That's nice of you. Nice.
Seven. What am I at?

Speaker 1 Let me see. Big hat.

Speaker 4 You did like an ice cream party, right?

Speaker 1 I just ate a pint of ice cream. It was during COVID.
I'm going to lock my account. 973.3.

Speaker 1 I'm going to lock my account when I get to to 999 that'll be metal yeah fuck it i don't need i don't need or it could be like that youtube stream where we get really close and then people just dip on purpose yeah and then climb up yeah seven sounds like you want that jake all right seven no seven thank you jake that was very nice of you 69

Speaker 1 26. i'm gonna go with

Speaker 1 27

Speaker 1 back girl

Speaker 1 43 43 what was yours hank seven i'm gonna go with 22 for one Soto. Every time we say back girl, I keep thinking there might be a chance there's a girl in the corner.
And I look and it's Max.

Speaker 1 Well, it's

Speaker 1 270 pounds. One of the dumber things that you've ever said.
Why did you say his weight?

Speaker 1 He's also not 270 pounds. Say 70? What is that? 20? 20.

Speaker 1 20. Hank, what'd you pick? Use Docs's weight, bro?

Speaker 1 Did you say that Max weighs 270 pounds? Yeah, you used Dox's weight?

Speaker 1 That was was fucked up, Billy.

Speaker 1 Damn.

Speaker 1 Love you guys. Oh, wait.
Billy's upset that he can benchmark. There's a group of six lions killed.
A group of six lions killed 40% of all lions in their region. Google Mapogo Lions.
It's Metal Store.

Speaker 1 all over

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 Don't came away.

Speaker 1 I don't know what

Speaker 1 to say and say anyway.

Speaker 1 Today is not my day to find you. Shy it away.

Speaker 1 No, I've been coming for your love okay

Speaker 1 Shine away

Speaker 1 I've been coming for your love okay

Speaker 1 let's decide

Speaker 1 Somebody

Speaker 1 sound

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 1 Southern the buttons are king

Speaker 1 Things that you say

Speaker 1 is in love

Speaker 1 Just the way I worry

Speaker 1 You are things I've got to remember

Speaker 1 Be the shy and I'll All the coming for you when it lights.

Speaker 1 Love the coming fear when it lights.

Speaker 1 Take on me.

Speaker 1 Take on me.