Cincinnati Head Coach Luke Fickell, MLB Trade Deadline, NFL Suspensions + Mt Rushmore Of Fruit

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WWE 2K25, available now. On today's Pardon My Take, we have Cincinnati Bearcats head coach Luke Fickle.

We also have a lot of sports to discuss.

MLB trade deadline was crazy.

It was brazy.

Sorry.

Yeah, it was.

It was brazy.

We had the Dolphins lose some draft picks.

Deshaun Watson was suspended.

We're going to do Hot Seat Cool Throne.

We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of Fruits, which we have not done yet, surprisingly.

That will get contentious, I would assume.

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Today is Wednesday, August 3rd.

And Juan Soto is a San Diego diego padre love to see him go to the padres no we don't we don't love to see it all yes i went through i went through a lot of steps of the grieving process today hank don't even turn your mic on i'm not even gonna tell hank pre-shut the fuck up pre-shut the fuck up hank let me talk about at the end the end. My big baseball boy is gone.
I'm going to miss him. He's 23.
He's Ted Williams. He might be better than Ted Williams.
He's gone. He did win a World Series.
Babe Ruth and Barry Bonds combined. He did win us a World Series.
And I love Juan Soto. I'm very sad to see him go.
It just brought up all the feelings that I've had for the last three years being a Nats fan. And granted, we did get a World Series, so I'm not going to cry too much about it.
But we've had a lot of players that leave. It happens all the time.
We're the minor league team. We're the farm system for Major League Baseball.
It's a wonder that we got one World Series. I'm very grateful for that.
But I did go through every single step of the grieving process today. I couldn't believe it when it happened.
I convinced myself last night that we were not going to trade him. It was all going to work out.
I was going to be fine. I was going to be happy.
The world would be perfect. It would be all sunshine and rainbows.
It did not work out that way. He's going to the Padres.
So the steps that I went through in this process, first denial, and then I was bargaining. I was like, you know what? Juan Soto damaged goods, ruined his swing at the home run derby.
Here's a little stat for you. I know you're a math guy.
His swinging strike rate. This is per StatHoleSports.
Our good friend. Follow him on Twitter.
He's got great, unusual stats. Smart guy.
He says that Juan Soto's swinging strike rate is up from 5.3% to 9.7% on the first two pitches of an at-bat post-home run derby. Now, I'm not a world-renowned math-educated person, but that's about double.
It's pretty much double. And then I was like, you know what? We're going to sign Juan Soto when he becomes a free agent again in two years.
Or three years. We could get that.
That could work out. Two years.
Two and a half years. And then I said to myself, well, let's see what happens in the game tonight.
Oh, yeah, we're beating Jake DeGrom and the New York Mets. The Washington Nationals are better without Juan Soto.
Yeah. So now I've come out the other side, and I'm starting to, I've accepted reality, but at the same time, I'm still bitter about the way things went down.
But, okay, so you did go through the range of emotions we watched, and you were even asking questions to the air of spin zones. Then whenever we said something, you just swat it down, and you weren't even like, no, I don't want to listen to that.
But here's the bottom line. I see it, and you can swat this one down.
The Nationals were never going to re-sign him. So you got a lot.
The Padres aren't going to re-sign him. Yeah, the Padres.
The Yankees or the Dodgers are the only two teams that are going to afford Juan Soto. So you had to trade him, and it was a good trade.
We got a haul. We fleeced the Padres.
And be very careful what you wish for, Padres, because you think, is there a little bit of Manny Machado that's like a little bit pissed off that they have expectations now? I don't know. I think the Padres, I mean, Manny Machado, Fernando Tatis, and Juan Soto is, I mean, I would say it's the most electric three stars in the game.
And Luke Foyt. And Luke Foyt.
Oh, wait. Yeah, he's not there anymore.
And Eric Hosmer. Oh, wait, he's not there.
Eric Hosmer was trending on Twitter because he held up the deal with his no-trade clause. You have a no-trade clause for a reason.
Anyone who's mad at Eric Hosmer, like, that's the point of the no-trade clause. And then he got traded to the Red Sox right after.
So I just think that just think that Juan Soto is an incredible player. Actually, PFT, you should just be mad at Juan Soto for being so good that you couldn't afford him.
He got so good that only two teams in Major League Baseball can afford him. That's how good we are at developing players in the Nationals.
It's not your fault. You'll be able to do it again, probably.
It's not your fault. It's Juan Soto's fault.
He got too good. I ran through the prospects that we got.
Here's what I got. Mackenzie Gore, cool name.
Mm-hmm. Robert Hassel.
Chick name. Well- Sounds like a hot chick.
Could be like a hot chick TikToker or like a Scottish warlord. Mackenzie Gore is like, she's a senior at Michigan State.
CJ Abrams, cool name. Sounds like he directs movies where Superman beats up the devil.

James Wood, cool name, kind of.

He sounds like he's in the movie where Superman beats up the devil, but he plays just a regular human being. Yeah, I actually looked up some deep stats on James Wood.
This is when I was in just like, make yourself feel better, PFT. So I found some stats on him on Twitter.
He has a .412 X w oba and a 0.449 x w oba con so those those are the highest of those numbers that i've ever seen yep in what league uh whatever league that he's in currently i was gonna say if it's double a that's one thing but triple a uh he's whiffing he only whiffs at 13 of pitches in the zone so that's good and i saw somebody say that that he has more RBIs than strikeouts. I don't know much about baseball, but that also sounds good.
I forget who we're talking about. Tony Gwynn.
Is this Juan Soto? That's a prospect. We're talking prospect.
Listen, we're real seam heads on the show. Then we got Jarlins, who's saying a cool name.
He throws 100 miles per hour, and he's 18. So that's a plus grade on upgrading on youth from Juan Soto.
So I'd say fleeced. Yeah, I mean, again, I don't know.
As much as it sucks, they had to do this. He wasn't going to resign.
And again, I don't think he's going to resign with the Padres. The Padres actually made a great move because they are going to get Juan Soto for this October, maybe next October, and then just flip him again and get prospects again.

Juan Soto is also going to look awesome in the Padres' alternate uniforms.

The Padres are going to be very fun.

The Padres are going to be very, very fun.

Those games against the Dodgers are going to be even more fun.

San Diego's back.

San Diego's back.

They got Josh Hader from the Brewers as well.

What were you going to say, Hank?

What was your – I was just going to say today was different because we were on an exciting shoot but we were you know in close quarters all day long so we experienced the grieving process with pft the entire day and i was just laughing because we were doing different stuff and pft was talking about it and then we did something else for like an hour and the second it ended like before i walked over and he was like you know what i was thinking and then he just started talking about the the nationals process and i was like what you know what i said yeah i was just sitting talking about i was sitting by myself staring off in nowhere and i was like luke voyd's pretty good right like he's okay he's a good player so yeah yeah you said that you said he was a seven i was like a seven yeah and then you said uh in the nationals yeah in the nationals which is perfect because it's it lines up right along with that scale of he's oh he's a dc five or he's a dc seven but he's a new york five right exactly but i here's here's what could be worse pft you could be the cubs who didn't trade wilson contreras and he's gonna walk for a huge bag at the end of the year and then the cubs would be like oh we oh, we got a compensation pick. Compensatory? Compensatory.
Compensatory pick. Yeah.
That's way worse. They literally dangled this guy for an entire month.
They won't give him an extension, and now they don't trade him, and they look like idiots, and then they're going to be like, oh, we got an extra pick. That's way worse.
Juan Soto, like the Nationals doing something and getting that crazy value for him, I applaud

them. I applaud them.
And Juan

Soto, it's his fault for being too

good. That's really what it is.

And Scott Boris. I'm going to blame Scott Boris too.

I just need people to blame.

Give me somebody to point out and be like, I hate that

guy. And that's why it's so funny

because it's like, Juan Soto was not going to sign

with the Nationals. He's not going to sign with the Padres.

If the Cubs had traded for him, he wouldn't have signed there. He wouldn't have signed in St.
Louis. Why not the Padres? Because they're not going to be able to afford him.
They have a lot of money guaranteed to Tatis. Fernando Tatis and Juan Soto are under 20.
Both of them are 23 years old, I think. It's going to be the Dodgers.
Didn't you see at the All-Star game, weren't they chanting future Dodger? And he was like, yeah, that's me. I'm a future Dodger.
You're going to pay me $500 million. The reality of the situation is that in a couple years' time, when he does become a free agent, he's going to get a contract that's far going to eclipse with the Nationals.
It's going to be $500 million. It's going to be the Dodgers or the Yankees.
He's going to get paid a shitload of money, so I guess good for him. I mean, he deserves every penny.
He's a great player. It's just sad when you see a player that, like, I had personally been telling myself.
I don't get nice things usually as D.C. sports fans.
But it's like I had just lied to myself and said, I'm going to turn 50 years old, and I'm going to go to the game where Juan Soto retires as a nat. Yeah, it was nice.
We were joking. The Nationals obviously gave him, the fans gave him a standing ovation and being like, oh, man, we're going to miss you.
He's 23. He's 23.
It was like a standing ovation that Albert Pujols is going to get. He's 23.
And that's legend. It's crazy.
There's never been a talent like him at his age who got traded midseason. I don't know all the history of baseball.
Tim Kirchner would be like, well, in 1922, I don't even know. Bobby Railroad Jones got traded for some other guy, and it was huge.
He was only 21 years old. This has never happened.
There's never been an all-star at 23 at his caliber getting traded midseason. Yep.
At 23. Anything else about the trade deadline? Because I was going to say right as this was happening, NFL's king moment happened.
Yeah, well, so we should mention a couple other teams. The Twins are going for it.
I just basically do the trade deadline if you're going for it or not. Twins are going for it.
Mariners are going for it. Astros already were going for it, but they're extra going for it.
Yankees going for it. Except for the Jordan Montgomery trade that makes no sense.
Jake, do you want to? It makes no sense. The Yankees are going to now lose in the playoffs because they don't have starting pitching, and they traded Jordan Montgomery.
Here's the thing. Stanton's on the IL.
John Chai's injury passed. Maybe it's just a little insurance in the outfield.
I guess, but you need pitching. Yeah.
Well, they got to win in October. They actually got the guy from the Cubs pitching right now the reliever yes but they the problem was they oh and he just gave up please oh jake you got fleece saved by the warning track in the short report um it it's it's uh i think they were trying to get someone from the marlins right yeah pablo lopez yeah and then it fell through yeah they got a closer right they got lou trevino yeah yeah they got the guys from the alins, right? Yeah, Pablo Lopez.
Yeah, and then it fell through. They got a closer, right? They got Lou Trevino.
Yeah, yeah. They got the guys from the A's.
I just saw that name come across the screen. I was like, that's just a perfect name for a Yankees closer that we're all going to hate.
Well, they're going to have Trevino pitching to Trevino. I know.
Wild. That is wild.
You think they're related? No, because you have the Enya. Yeah, but maybe way back.
Maybe Trevino got his name changed at Ellis Island. Yeah.
Ever think about that? Sure. They always got Frankie Montas.
Yeah. Who got that? The Yankees got two pitchers from the Yankees.
Yeah. And then the Padres are obviously going for it.
Yeah. I'm trying to think.
The Phillies got Noah Syndergaard. Yeah, the Phillies are going for it.
It kind of stinks now, though. Still Noah Syndergaard.
Yeah, he still could be Phillies got Noah Syndergaard. That's going to be interesting.
It kind of stinks now, though. Still Noah Syndergaard.
He still could be. He still Noah Syndergaard.
The Mets are not doing anything. They got DeGrom back.
They signed DeGrom today. Right.
They signed Jacob DeGrom, and then the Mets offense immediately disappeared. It's got to drive him absolutely insane.
The Orioles did a classic Orioles thing. I hate them.
which is traded their dead players and issued a statement maybe maybe one of the best all-time loser franchise statements just being like you know what after running the math we decided that we we were probably not going to get the wild card this year i hate them so we're going to get rid of it and then then they signed and then they trade for an outfielder today yeah no i. Which made no sense because when they're giving up their players that they did yesterday,

they've got a good, I forget the guy's name, the kid's name.

Adley Rushman?

He's an outfielder in their farm system that they were really looking forward to bringing up.

They're like, oh, well, this creates a spot for him to come up to the big leagues and get some reps in.

But then they just traded for a guy that plays his position.

I hate them.

I hate them.

I was so excited about my bet.

I was going to get into the Orioles.

I was going to tweet Birdland and all that shit.

And then they're like, yeah, we're two and a half games

out of the wild card game.

We're folding.

And it's just stupid.

Hate them.

Why play the games?

Dead to me.

Dead to me.

Why play the games?

That's a great loser franchise thing to do,

to tell all your players that are young and promising

that they're fucking losers.

That's what you did that's what you did um anyone else going for it i think the cardinals made some moves they're going for it they're always fucking going for it so the yankees got bader who's on the aisle but they're expecting him to return for the season they let go of joey gallo i don't know if you guys saw the quotes. Get to the Dodgers.
You see the quotes? No. Super depressing.
Oh, the story that was written about him last week. Yeah, where he's like.
They don't go in the streets. He's like, every day for the rest of my life, I'm going to realize I failed for the Yankees.
Oh, God. He's like, whoa.
Okay, Joey. So, it was heavy.
It's like, I think you could probably walk in Manhattan without people, like it's Manhattan. would not know Joey Galef.
No, just bump my coffee.

He doesn't leave his apartment.

Honestly, just take your hat off and you'll be fine.

Don't wear a Yankees hat.

He's wearing his full uniform.

People keep yelling at me.

Don't wear anything with pinstripes on it.

If you're wearing a suit, make sure that it's a pattern color.

Yes.

And you're good. He said, well, they asked, have you been living in Manhattan?

Yeah.

What's it been like for you when the Yankees fans noticed you on the streets? Are they rough on you away from the ballpark too? I don't go out on the streets, in the streets. That's sad.
Yeah, I really don't want to show my face too much around here. I think he's mistaking being himself for just like living in New York.
Yeah. Like that's generally true for everyone.
This guy honked at me. Yeah.
And like I was walking on the sidewalk and this guy was like, you motherfucker. Yeah, this guy bumped into me.
And then they tried to give me a – someone tried to give me a free CD. He's like, this homeless – It's fucking terrible here.
This homeless guy spit on me on the train. Yeah, so it's unfortunate, but New York fans are – New York fans.
Yeah. You can say it.
They're scumbags. That's true.
They can be harsh. Also, we should mention the Reds did a good job of getting rid of guys, which they were – that actually drives me more crazy.
Teams – the Mets are good. Yeah, you probably, if you're a Mets fan, you're pissed that they didn't do anything.
But like I said, the Cubs have no excuse for not trading Wilson Contreras after not giving him an extension. Either give him an extension or trade him.
Don't let him just walk. That's way worse.
So the Reds traded a bunch of guys, and they got a bunch of prospects. That's fun.
You get some prospects. You get to look at them.
I need to know if we're okay with not hating the Astros anymore, or do we still hate them? Trey Mancini makes them a lot more likely. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
It's tough now i think i'll never i'll never get over them not getting the proper uh post yeah like they never got they never got the the hate that they deserve because of covid covid robbed and i don't know that i'll get over that until like all the players on the team i feel like i'll tuve being there forever like as long as i'll tuve is there it's like yeah you guys did that yeah yeah that's just gonna be it um okay yeah let's talk some nfl and there's people there's there's there's the there's like the astros fans that are like trying to you know whitewash everything on twitter it's like he didn't cheat he didn't cheat there was no cheating it's like he had a buzzer yeah we saw it yeah and he said what do you say he didn't want to get his shirt off yeah because his wife didn't like it when his shirt was yeah they didn't want other want other people to see his nipples. Yeah, an athlete doesn't want his shirt off.
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All right, NFL.

We should start.

I mean, we should probably go in chronological order.

Deshaun Watson, six-game suspension.

People are upset.

There's a lot of people.

Actually, I don't know.

Let me ask you this, PFT.

Do you think the majority of the team are upset, do you think they realize that this was not Roger Goodell's decision? I think the majority of people are upset just because they need to be upset about this. Right.
No matter what was issued, it's still like, oh, well scumbag right like it and it's sometimes people mistake the nfl for an actual branch of law enforcement right roger goodell used to think that he was a cop yeah probably probably still kind of does yeah but he did something very smart in the last cba which was he said i'm not going to be the judge i'm not going to be the jury until the judge makes their official statement and then if I don't like that then it's like here comes the judge Roger Goodell I'm back so and who's the bad guy walks in and he gets to do it so they have three days I think till Thursday to appeal this but I do like the initial reaction a lot of people were like oh Tom Brady got this or Ray Rice got like Roger Goodell what is he doing? He had nothing to do with this decision. He actually, the league, recommended a year to indefinite.
They wanted a year to an indefinite suspension. It was only six.
The other part, I mean, I will say, and I'm sure we might have some Browns fans upset, but I will go one more than scumbag. I think Deshaun Watson is a predator yeah and he's a bad guy but the problem with how this all shook out is he settled with a lot of the women and then I think I saw it was like 24 there was 24 cases that Sue Robinson was able to review and then there was four testimonies that she got so she only got four four women were only able to testify for whatever different reasons.
So she basically got whittled through Deshaun Watson paying people off and other things happening to only four people. And she made her judgment.
I don't think I think it probably should have been more. But I also I don't understand a lot of this.
So there's a couple of things that I read. She called it.
She called his behavior predatory and egregious. And if you read anything and which it was, it was predatory.
That's what she said. Those are her words.
And she's like six games. If somebody is actually a predator, six games does seem a little light.
Now, if you were to ask OJ Simpson and nobody did, but OJ decided to weigh in. Well, it was actually a very classy statement.J said what's up Twitter world uh first of all I want to remember uh a late great champion Bill Russell and his great career and also Deshaun Watson is getting suspended so he very nicely segued into that um OJ Simpson waited OJ Simpson should be the guy that Roger Goodell says like you're the one that you're the arbiter're the arbiter, yeah.
Yeah, you're the judge, the jury, and I guess he's got life experience. Yeah, no.
Was he for or against it? Billy. OJ Simpson didn't even give Deshaun Watson the benefit of the doubt of innocence.
Well, I mean, if you've read the testimonies, I would say that's fair to not give him the benefit of the doubt of innocence anymore. If he did it, then he should be suspended.
This is how he would have, and then he took off his pants.

Yeah, so the other thing that I saw in the report was there's a provision

that he's only allowed to use team masseuses, team-issued masseuses,

for the rest of his career.

That's probably – why not no massages?

If you have to be told that you're only allowed to use state-sanctioned masseuses, if you have a masseuse problem to the point where your masseuse use is being monitored, you probably should not be trusted to be playing football on a football team. Also, they should have just said, you get a massage chair.
Yeah, exactly. You get a massage chair.
You don't get a hand. You don't get a person.
You get a massage chair. Yeah, or just do it yourself.
Get a leg roller. So I think people are upset, too, and and rightfully so and this is the cynical side of the world and we all know this if you watch you know the nfl if you watch pro sports the browns made a bet that this was going to be around what they you know uh suspended deshaun watson for and their bet paid off like the browns you know it's it's very fucked up say, but the Browns have to be happy because they traded a lot for Deshaun Watson, who they want to be their franchise quarterback, hoping that he would be suspended for less than half a season, and that's what happened.
Also, NFL rigged, the first six games that they have are the easiest schedule in the league. Yeah, remember we mentioned that on the schedule release? Yeah.
That people were saying, look at this, they're setting it up. I wonder if there's going to be something in the suspension.
You remember when Big Ben had that happen to him? Yeah. And they gave him eight games, and they said, as long as you promise not to commit any more sexual assaults until the NFL season, then I'll reduce it until four.
And so they halved his suspension at the last minute because of good behavior. I don't think they're going to have this.
Probably not. It sounds to me like what Goodell was trying to do was he went heavy-handed with what he recommended, knowing that the judge would go underneath it.
He would look good. And then if he disagreed with what the judge said, then he could argue for it to be increased to eight.
Right. That's, to me, the vibe that I got.
And you also knew that Deshaun Watson was going to be fine with it when the NFLPA, I think, released a statement saying, we're not going to appeal. It's like, no duh, six games.
And what does Deshaun Watson lose? Like nothing money-wise? Yeah, he loses, I think, $300,000. $350,000.
That's insane. I mean, that's what I'm saying, though.
That's the cynical side that the Browns basically set this up where they gave him all this guaranteed money, and they knew that that like, okay, you're going to be suspended. It probably won't be a year, but we'll be okay.
Let me save you because I've seen a bunch of Browns fans get really pissed off about that. Apparently the Browns do that with every contract that they put out there so that they can push the cap ramifications off to like the backside of the career.
So $250 million to everyone. So $250 million to everyone guaranteed.
Now now yeah the the size of the contract is much different than everybody else but that's like a standard practice they do it just so happens that it really worked out it worked out yeah and i i mean i'm not gonna you can't i'm not gonna sit here and be like browns fans how dare you because it's fucking nfl i'm just saying that the browns made a cynical bet it worked out yes and people have a right to be right to be upset. Yeah.
I mean, personally, like, I don't, I don't know. It doesn't really enter into my brain when I see somebody that's accused of sexually assaulting credibly, you know, over 20 people to figure out like, oh, well, what does that translate into how many football games I think he should write? Right.
I think the problem is like a little bit bigger than than that. Yeah.
It's like, OK, so a person is a quarter Yes. That's what, like, yeah, you don't think like that.
No one should think like that. That was the Manziel math, wasn't it? Yeah.
Yeah, you shouldn't, it shouldn't enter your brain. So, yeah, it's a, I don't know what's like the reaction to be when he comes back.
I mean, I'm sure the Browns fans will. When he wins, winning cures all.
Yeah, Browns fans love him. I know that in about five years there will be a big feature on Monday Night Football about the redemption of Deshaun Watson.
He hasn't jacked off into a woman in almost six years now. Yeah.
And so they'll break out the slow piano. It'll be right before a dreary NFL Sunday, and everybody will just move on.
That's kind of sadly how it all works. Yeah, he hasn't threatened any woman's business saying I'll ruin your life or anything like that in at least a month.
Yeah, so you got to give people the benefit of the doubt, but Deshaun Watson did some of that shit. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. So, yeah, I guess we'll see what happens if Roger.
I think it'll happen tomorrow because they're not going to want to do it on the Hall of Fame game night. So this is where Florio really shines.
Today was a great day to be Mike Florio. Oh, yeah.
Because if there's nothing that has to do with, like, legal ramifications, Florio starts firing off the takes, and that's when he gets to be a problem. But he gets to deal with, like, legal stuff and contract issues today.
So he was saying that there's a chance that the league could, I forget the exact word, but it's basically like appealing the appeal, which could push it back as many as two weeks. And they probably don't want it to be on the same day as the Hall of Fame.
No, they're going to appeal the appeal until Labor Day. Yeah.
And then appeal the appeal on the Friday of Labor Day. Before Labor Day weekend.
Exactly. That's genius.
Roger Goodell does it again. Hank, are you, now that we've laid everything out, are you mad about the Brady suspension? Because that was, I did see a lot of people being like, Brady, four games, Sean Watson.
I didn't know what you were saying in the beginning about the CBA. That obviously happened after the Brady thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. Because if that was put in court, then Roger Goodell would be in jail.
Yes, Roger Goodell used to decide the suspensions. This is the first time he hasn't.
So that's where it's a little confusing. I would have loved to have seen that case get played out in front of a judge.
Would have gone a lot different probably. Yeah.
Billy, you have an inquisitive look on your face. Billy looks like the dog.
He's about to say something really, really stupid. The garage door just opened for Billy the dog.
So Calvin Ridley was before that CBA decision was made? Calvin Ridley? No, after. I think it was after, but I also think Calvin Ridley, that's like an open shot.
That's more of like a contract violation. Yeah, like gambling is just, it was just basically you gambled.
You're out. Which is also, that is hypocritical in a whole different realm.
Yes. And I agree, free Calvin Rid'm i'm for that uh i i do think it's a lot easier to do that internal math where you're like oh he gambled on a football game how many football games should he miss right but when you hold it up like apples to apples uh was it 17 games now for gambling on for putting in a 500 parlay and then what deshaun watson didn't even1,500.
It doesn't add up. So, like, there are a bunch of people that think that they're being very, very smart online being like, well, you know, like, Aaron Hernandez never got suspended.
That's just really just me. Yeah.
I mean, there's, it's, again, to sum it up, I think Deshaun Watson is a predator. I don't think Browns fans should have to apologize for what their team does.
Like, that's not – that's just – if we had to do that as sports fans, we'd just be apologizing left and right. And, yeah, nobody would even have a team to root for.
Right. Because guess what? Humans, they fuck up sometimes.
It's pretty bad. Yeah, pretty – there are shitty people everywhere.
All right, so the Dolphins, on a lighter note, they got a first-round draft pick taken away, second-round a lighter note they got a first round draft pick taken away second round draft pick taken away third third round draft pick taken away for tampering with uh tom brady multiple times and sean payton uh that one was like a duo because it was don ye i think represents sean payton and tom brady um and steven ross got suspended till october 17th which is always hilarious when an owner gets suspended it's like oh so what is he gonna do probably take his yacht to fucking italy i don't know yeah he just can't be in the stadium for the games right so he gets to watch tv at home yeah he's gonna go on vacation more yeah he's gonna go on vacation he's gonna go on a great vacation and watch the tv watch the dolphins uh afterwards jake next man or woman up fergie mark anthony Anthony, and the Williams sisters are also part of. Ooh, I vote Fergie.
I'm voting for Fergie. Yeah.
No, Serena. Serena, yeah.
Yeah, not Venus, just Serena. So, Jake, what do you think about this? I will say quickly that I did say on these airwaves that I didn't think that the tampering was happening, and I was proven wrong today.
Oh, yeah, that's right. You said that it was me and Florio making it up.
Yeah. That was that.
That fell under the PFT fan fiction. Hank, would you like to apologize to me? I would like to apologize to everyone, all the listeners for saying that I didn't believe that I was wrong.
I still don't. And you PFT.
Thank you, Hank. Tampering to me still, I'd never, when people get accused of tampering in pro sports leagues, I'm like, wait, so they're just talking like every profession talks? And that's why Belichick tampered with Flores.
Yeah, I'm going to say, Hank, a nice thing about you, take a bow, Bill Belichick. This was your masterpiece.
Yes, yes. By implicating the Dolphins in doing some backyard stuff along with the Giants.

It sounds like that's what triggered the entire thing to happen with Flores

suing the NFL.

They did an investigation.

They found that, yes, Belichick did get fucked over by the Dolphins.

Yeah.

No throwing games.

They did rule that.

Well, no, they said it was just a joke.

Yeah.

They said it's a parody law.

They offered him $100,000 to throw games, but he was kind of just playing.

But, but... rule that well no they said it was just a joke yeah they said but it's no no no parody law like they're not getting him a hundred thousand dollars to throw games but he was kind of just playing yeah but brian flores just didn't listen if he had listened and that came out today like he he would be ruined like he was he did the right thing by not listening i don't think it was a joke by not oh yeah yeah no no i agree i don't think it was a joke yeah i I'm saying what the NFL ruled.
The NFL did not take away any picks for that allegation.

They took it away for the Brady and the Sean Payton.

So it also gets interesting because they were also tampering with Sean Payton as recently as this year before he resigned as coach of the Saints.

And then he resigns as coach of the Saints.

And then the Brian Flores stuff comes out. And then the Dolphins realize, the dolphins realize oh shit yeah we can't just hire sean payton now right we got to go in a different direction and so then sean payton is just like wait i just quit my job right and i was coming to to miami yeah so my my theory sean payton was like oh you have a quarterback who can't throw it more than 10 yards down the field i'm in i have a little bit of an expertise with this my theory i'm in chewing on i'm sorry that was a joke my theory was that uh sean payton and tom brady were going to it was always the plan for them to unite in miami that tom brady would then get a piece of the miami dolphins yes he'd become a part owner in the franchise the first ever owner player and then that all just blew up in his face.
And so he said, okay, I'll just play for the box. Yeah.
That's also Florida. Yeah.
That's. And then the weird stuff with his retirement this off season.
Yes. I think was also connected directly connected with all the investigations going on behind the scenes with the dolphins.
Correct. The whole thing.
It's like you said, a beautiful day to be Mike Florio. He probably has not.
He's probably hasn't taken a piss today. He's probably just been at his laptop blogging away all day.
I think he's been pissing, but he's diped up. This is his favorite thing.
This is like when we get to watch, like, if the doubleheader Monday Night Football, that's like the most exciting thing when we get two Monday Night Football games. Mike Florio gets just legal rulings left and right, and that's his real NFL.
What? Doubleheadhunter. Yeah, they did.
They took away last year. Yeah.
Yeah. Damn.
Yeah. Remember when Mike and Mike and Mike did it? Yeah.
That was great. Oh, yeah.
That was great. And the Sergio Dip game.
Mm-hmm. There was a lot of – and the punt was blocked game.
Yeah. A lot of memories we have with those doubles.
Things always got weird. Yeah, the late-night game always got weird.
Yeah. But, yeah, big day in rulings by the NFL.
So the dolphins still do have the 49ers first round picks a lot of first round pick but there's a lot more pressure on two and now because if this doesn't work out if he has a bad year they're not gonna have a top pick unless the niners think too but yeah yeah would you like to disavow the dolphins for tampering you pro tampering again i don't understand tampering to me is always like the dumbest they're like oh they talk i will say i kind of you got to respect like let's get tom brady and sean payton in here right like they didn't work out about going for it like they went for it and also i do respect that in some way steven ross is like the biggest donor to michigan he's a huge michigan guy so like part of me thinks like was this even tampering or was just, like, Steven Ross being like, hey, Tom, wouldn't it be fucking awesome? We could watch Michigan games on Saturday, then you could play on Sunday. Also, I read something that the 31 other owners would have had to approve Brady being a part owner.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. So, like, they might have done that.
I feel like Kraft would have shot that down. Well, it would have raised the collective, like, attractiveness level of all the owners, right? The owners are, what, probably like a 3-5 if you combine them all together.
Someone do a face mash of every owner. I think they would have said absolutely not to Tom Brady.
Because then that opens the door for, like, okay, any other star player. Yeah.
They're going to ask for an ownership stake. No, but they could do that.
What does that eye roll for, Hank? They could get around the salary cap. There's not any other star player.
They could get around the salary cap, though. It's right.
They could be like, oh, we'll give you part of the team and not pay you as much. Now, there's a continuing development that comes out of this because there's an owner's meeting taking place, I think, next week in Minnesota.
Not for Jeffrey Ross. Not for Tom Brady.
Or Stephen Ross, sorry. Jeffrey Ross is a comedian.

That'd be weird, too.

That would actually be great to have him as a winner.

He should stand in place.

He'd be like, Stephen Ross should be like my brother Jeffrey. Are they related?

No.

That's wild.

But at this meeting that they're going to have up in Minnesota,

Roger Goodell is expected to read owners the Riot Act when it comes to tampering.

Now, that's a direct quote.

They're going to be fucked.

The Riot Act will be read.

But you bring up a good point, which like where where does just like having a conversation stop and tampering start is there isn't there something called freedom of speech in this country yep you're just having a conversation and it happens to be that tom brady's in the room with you and you're talking about employing him we could could you in theory bring him in the same room and like talk to a plant yeah that's not not Tom Brady. Code words.
And be like, man, if Tom Brady was in this room, I would offer him 5% in this team. Right.
Right. You call him up and you'll be like, hey, Tom, how's it going up in New England? Hey, warm weather down here.
It would be real nice if you were on a boat, a real big boat, with a lot of money. You know what? Because boats are expensive.
That's what I'm talking about. The more I think about this, the more I'm pissed off at Dan Snyder for not tampering with Tom Brady.
So I'm saying everyone should tamper in the NFL. Why not? Fucking go for it.
If you're not tampering, you're not trying. Have players change teams week to week.
Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
I imagine Roger Goodell giving the riot act. he's got to really pump himself up in the mirror beforehand be like don't let jerry jones is probably gonna heckle you don't don't don't cry this time i actually gonna be fine i actually think his speech is probably gonna be written by jerry jones yeah that's him his notes and then he's gonna pat him on the head and be like thanks so much roger go get me a coffee uh go get me a shoe to come in i'd like that um all right should we do hot seat cool throne should we do hot seat cool throne there's making a sandwich and then there's crafting a sandwich and when i want something perfectly crafted i go straight to boar's head for over a century boar's head has been dedicated to crafting premium deli favorites every ingredient is carefully chosen every recipe made with a purpose.
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Hank, your hot seat, cool throne. Go for it.
Hank. Sorry, my hot seat is genie bus.
Oh, yeah, she lost a huge bet. What happened? Yeah, she lost a huge bet or one of her teams lost.
She got hacked. The PS5 hack.
A lot of people are getting it right now. She got hacked.
She sent out a picture of, I mean, I think it was the exact tweet. Oh, yeah.
No, it is. Yeah.
What is it? It's like, hey, friends, got a great deal. Giving away these three PlayStations.
If you win, you get to go to a Lakersakers game it must be impossible to actually give away a ps5 on twitter it's so funny when people when i ever i tweet that and people are like i can't dm you open your dms yeah so that's what big cat tweets that exact tweet when when he loses or you know spoiler alert inside baseball uh when he loses big better no that's no i got hacked um but so i saw it in the timeline i was like up i was I was like, did big cat lose i was like oh this is genie bus the exact same tweet and then she had to tweet from the lakers personal team account and said lakers fan my twitter account has been hacked please do not engage with or send any money these are not legitimate offers the lakers will alert you when i'm back in control of my account genie bus wouldn't it be great if genie bus was like let me just do this and then maybe we can get like a russell westbrook buyout and we'll get enough money we'll just get and then we can raise it yeah trade trade for kairi the luxury tax not a problem anymore and you know it always just makes you wonder because obviously like the scam and it's like what what did she click yeah what did someone send her that was very obvious, like the $100 gift card?

I get a lot where it's like your Amazon's been logged out. That's been happening to me all the time.
But it's from such a random number that it's so obvious. It's like your Amazon has been compromised.
Compromised. Then I just log on to Amazon.
It's like, nope, everything's fine. Yeah, but it's like click this link, but it's from a formula.
Always check and see the address that the email sent from, because it's usually like ama.z0in at china.edu or whatever. Yeah, tough day at the office for Jeannie Bush.
Owners, they're just like us. Governors.
Governors, sorry. My cool throne is lambs.
Yeah. Gordon Ramsay made a TikTok posting a video where he was at a a farm selecting a lamb and he was like rubbing his hands together going yummy like we're gonna slaughter this and make and then he got a ton of backlash and people were trying to cancel him oh no why they didn't know where lambs came from right they thought lambs grew on trees right so lambs are good apparently like killing lambs for food is delicious is cancelable no it's delicious i get my lamb from a restaurant yeah right i don't get it from like a lamb some guy cooks me lamb and i eat it my lamb is totally different it was my lamb was never alive that's the thing i have cruelty free lamb right so yeah that's what i'm saying lambs are on the cool throne you know.
I love when that shit happens. Like, where the fuck do you think your food comes from?

It's like, how dare you?

This is alive.

It's like, he's a chef.

I'd imagine people are like eating McDonald's while they're watching that and being like,

what the fuck?

Like the expression fresh meat.

Yeah.

Means that it just died.

He should.

Gordon Ramsay should have strangled the lamb right in front of everyone.

And then I would have, it would have been delicious.

He should.

Brovshire.

Brovshire.

Brovshire.

Yeah, very good.

Brovshire.

Nice.

Nice.

The first one wasn't good enough.

Now we got the brovshire.

I love this. Because he's English.
No, I know. I know.
I know. No, I know.
Yeah, it was a good joke. I like that.
It was good, Billy. Everybody, let's stop.
I appreciate Billy's joke. Good job.
Stop the show. Yeah, cool.
Cool thrown lambs. They're good.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, don't fuck with lambs. Actually, I disagree.
I don't really like lamb that much. Oh, a good lamb chop is very good.
Yeah. Very, very good.
I'd rather pork chop than lamb chop. Agreed.
I'd like both. Why not both? I'm not opposed to either.
Yeah, I'm not opposed to either. Yeah.
Sometimes good lamb chop. A little mint jelly.
Yeah, the mint jelly. That's good.
It kicks it up a notch. Let's kill some more lambs some more lamps.
Is that a hat? Yeah. I have one more quick one.
Antonio Brown is trying to start a rap career. His songs are not good.
What do you mean trying to? Have you not heard from the pit, not the palace? Right. No, he is rapping, and he's doing festivals.
He's at Rolling Loud performing, and he did a dance, and that dance is going viral, so he is getting some traction now as an entertainer. Nice.
What's his dance like? It's weird as fuck. How would you do it? Do it for us.
Do the dance. Do it, Billy.
It's kind of like the wobble, but you shake your arms more. Okay, let's see it.
It's like pretending to be a porpoise But without slapping your hands It's First of all Porpoises don't have hands Second of all they can't clap their fins together It's like the weirdest dance ever It's ridiculous It is a weird dance but it's kind of catchy And it's catching on He did it and now it's like everyone's doing it now Remember Remember the Bernie? Right. That shit rocks.
It kind of looks like that. Yeah.
Remember the Dougie? Yeah. So it's like I see that, and it's like, you know, good for A-Bs.
That's what you need to get your rap career off the ground. Lamar Jackson says he's going to do it this season if he scores.
Oh, nice. That's him just saying I want Antonio Brown on my team because I have no wide receivers.
And I like that, too. That's tampering.
If I've learned anything from this show. PFT, your hot seat, cool throw.
My hot seat is the Las Vegas Raiders because we've got the Hall of Fame game coming up on Thursday night. And guess who's not starting? Trevor Lawrence.
They're holding him out. You know what that means? Second half, Kyle Sloater.
Oh, nice. Our guy, Kyle Sloater, he excelled in the USFL.
I told you guys to watch him. I'm pretty sure he got the MVP.
Who cares? But he played really well in the USFL. And the preseason is absolutely when Kyle Slaughter shines.
So what I'm saying is take the over for the Jacksonville Jaguars in this game. Why not just the Jags? Yeah, take the Jags.
Yeah. Because it's Slaughter.
We're betting on Slaughter right now.

Yeah, yeah, take the Jags.

That way he might not get a touchdown, but he'll move the ball to at least a field goal.

He deserves a shot, and I'm happy to see my guy get a shot.

I'm going to be rooting for him.

Slaughterhouse is back.

All in.

Hot seat Raiders.

My cool throne is Morbius.

Is that the name of that movie?

Yeah.

Morbin.

We've never stopped Morbin. Morbin.
Morbin. Well, they're on the cool throne because there's a name of that movie? Yeah.
Morbius. We've never stopped Morbius.

Morbius.

Well, they're on the cool throne because there's a new movie that's taking over, maybe perhaps the worst movie of all time from Morbius.

Batgirl.

Ooh.

So Batgirl, they spent $90 million on it.

And they said, you know what?

This thing stinks so bad, we're not even going to put it out in theaters.

Who is Batgirl? We're not going to release it. I don't know.
But it was like one of those DC movies. Hank, do you know? I'm not even going to say because I don't think it's right.
Oh. Okay.
So it covers maybe. But they've been working like really hard on this movie, like 90 million.
Nope, just kidding. She's the Catwoman.
Who's Batgirl? Classic mistake. Yeah, that is a classic mistake.
Yeah. But they said it's so bad that we're not even going to finish the movie.
It's not going to come out ever. Yeah, I mean, Batgirl was...
Who wants... What's Batgirl? Nobody really wants to see Batgirl.
What the fuck is Batgirl? It's Catwoman. That's Catwoman.
This is Batgirl. Right, but this is Batgirl.
That's what I'm saying. But what is Batgirl? Right, that's what I'm saying.
Batgirl doesn't exist. There is no Batgirl.
There's Catwoman. I think there's a Batgirl, but I don't know.
No, no, no is all true. No, no, no.
I know what he's saying is true. Hold on.
Nobody cares about Batgirl. Batgirl exists, but Batgirl doesn't exist.
There is no Batgirl. Nobody cares about Batgirl.
But I also think, maybe what? In the last five years, created it. Yeah, that's right.
Brendan Fraser?

Yeah.

Oh, damn.

They're all legends.

Keeping him out.

So it sucks.

What is Batgirl?

I don't know.

But, like, you know what happened?

Because I had not ever heard of Batgirl before.

I hadn't even heard of this movie.

No one had.

But when they announced that it wasn't going to come out because it's so bad,

I was like, I have to see Batgirl.

So they should release Batgirl,

and then everybody should promise to go see it in theaters like we did with Morbius. have to see Batgirl.
So they should release Batgirl, and then everybody should promise to go see it in theaters

like we did with Morbius.

Leslie Grace is Batgirl.

Oh.

All right, so I guess Batgirl existed since 1961.

No one knows Batgirl.

What the fuck?

Yeah, but with comics, there's a bajillion, like, you know.

Bat Boy, National Enquirer.

Yeah.

Very true.

That's true.

That is true.

But it did make me want to go see this movie when they said it's like so bad that we're not going to put it out. Oh, shit.
I want to see what that looks like. Oh, so Batgirl, get this, following the accusations of a homoerotic subtext in the depiction of the relationship between Batman and Robin, as described in Frederick Wortham's book, Seduction of the Innocent.

Batgirl was created, or Batwoman,

and then Batgirl was created.

So basically, everyone was like,

yo, are Batman and Robin gay?

They're like, no, there's Batgirl.

Wait, but is Batgirl, is she a lesbian?

No, but you're just like, no, here's Batgirl,

or Batwoman, that's Batman's girlfriend.

Yeah, Batwoman's a beard. Yeah yeah his wife they're both bats a beard

yeah this is crazy Mrs. Batman yeah holy shit yeah so yeah it started as Batwoman and then became Batgirl as the niece Batgirl is the niece of a Robin-like sidekick to Batwoman what the fuck wait batgirl is the niece of Robin? No, niece of Batwoman.
Batwoman. So that's not even...
Who's Batwoman? How are you Batgirl if you're not Bat... Is Batwoman married to Batman? No, hold on.
How are you the fucking daughter... How are you not the daughter of Batwoman? Are we not talking about Catwoman? No, Batwoman is also...
Batwoman is who was introduced to be like Robin and Batman are not gay. That's pretty much what happened.
And then Batgirl's his daughter? No, he's straight as fuck. He actually found the only other woman on the planet.
That's a bat. That is a bat.
Also a bat. Yeah.
And they fuck. Holy shit.
But they don't fuck so much because there's also Batgirl who's not related to Batwoman. All right.
So Bat who's batgirl's dad i'm gonna i'll read i'm gonna read this all right that's important i know i know i'm gonna read it so so following the accusation homoerotic subtext batwoman was created in 1961 dc comics introduced a second female character as a love interest for robin so there's robin's beard wait but why is robin fucking batgirl like rob Robin should be fucking Catwoman. Robin Chick.
Robin with a Y. There you go.
Perfect. Okay, so Betty Kane and his Batgirl arrived as the niece of Robin-like sidekick to Batwoman, first appearing in Batman.
The creation of the Batman family, which included Batman and Batwoman. Oh, so they were married.
Oh, this is fucked up now. So Batman and and Batwoman were married and then Robin and Batgirl were fucking were they fucking or were they also married no Batman and Batwoman were depicted as the parents and Robin and Batgirl were depicted as their children but then that makes no sense how does a bird fuck a bat wait Robin and Batgirl are supposed to be siblings and they're fucking so they're like oh they're not gay they're just incestuous wait when this come out 1961 yeah so yeah i mean yeah everybody's cousins back then uh the ex the all right wait hold on robin and bat girl depicted as their children the extraterrestrial imp bat might and the family pet ace the bat hound caused the batman wait their dog was a? Why do they have to make the dog a bat? It's just a dog.
The dog is a dog. They make it wear a mask? Ace the Bat-Hound caused the Batman-related comic books to take a wrong turn switching from the superheroes to situational comedy.
Oh, they became a fucking. They became a sitcom.
Yeah, they became a sitcom. Holy shit.
So then they abandoned all these characters. And why did they then they then be like hey remember when that thing failed when we were trying to make sure that everyone didn't think batman and robin were sucking each other off in the batmobile let's bring back those characters is there a bad dad i think that's batman but like batman's dad no that's the guy who gets shot in the alley oh yeah that's right yeah spoiler all right so that was um that was great yeah i learned a lot i learned a lot i do still want to see how bad this girl can get who cares um yeah fuck bat girl i do want to see it as well if you're an actor on that you still get paid right i hope so spider-man oh shit you were.
This is one of those things we got to send to Robbie Fox and just watch him cringe. We should actually make him watch it on a live stream of everything we just fucked up.
Yeah, the Spider-Man thing, a lot of people are going to be triggered over that one. Oh, yeah.
Big time. But I was with you.
Who cares? Who cares? Okay. Good, cool throne, PNT.
Thank you. We're talking rabbit hole.
I'm with you. I want to see it now, too.
Right. Oh, yeah, definitely.
Just to see this family dynamic play out. Can we all agree to tweet at DC and be like, or whoever made it? Probably not DC, whatever movie studio.
Zack Snyder. Can we just be like, hey, we all agree to go see this when it comes out in theaters, and then they'll release it, and then nobody will go? Yeah.
Let's run back, Morbin. Yeah.
I'm in. I think the saddest thing is I think Brendan Fraser gained, like, 200 pounds for the role.
Oh, no. That sucks.
Come on. I can't do that to him.
Google a picture of Brendan Fraser currently. Well, he was fat.
He was fat. He's like, yeah, it's for a role.
Yeah. I'm eventually going to be in the new Batgirl movie.
I think he's the Penguin. Oh.
That would have been delightful. That would have been great.
He would have had a great waddle. That would have been great.
All right, my hot seat is. Well, the footage exists, too.
That's the thing. Release the fucking Snyder Cut, Snyder.
No, his name was Garfield Lins. Huh? So he was a cat? He was a cat.
Yeah, what? This movie makes no sense. Kind of love it.
All right, my hot seat is Hank. So Hank's on the hot seat.
Agreed. Because we talked about it on Sunday.
Liam Bubba is going to be moving to different stuff from Part of My takes so we have we're not having billy edit the podcast we are having our co-worker uh max aka philly maze on twitter one of the greatest twitter handles uh max is from philly he's a villanova guy diehard eagles sixers all that he is now going to be part of the show max would you like to say anything? Hank is on the hot seat because he now has someone to clap back at him when he disparages the city of Philadelphia. Oh, nice.
This is good. Speaking to the mic, Max.
Speaking to the mic. Billy got your ass.
Billy's like fresh meat. Oh, wow.
Looks like Hank is teaching Max wrong. All right.
Trying to submarine him already. That's a great introduction to the show for the new producer.
Nice. Yeah, I'm excited for the opportunity.
I've been a fan for a while. Yeah, big Philly guy.
And I hate Hank. All right, perfect.
You're going to fit in perfectly here. Quick question.
You look like you work out there, Max. I heard some people call you one rep Max around here.
One rep Max. Do you also bench press more than Billy? Yes.
Max, you did not bench more than 275, so we have an equal bench press. Is that not correct? Technically correct, but if you go back and look at the tapes, anyone could see that I could bench more than you.
Yeah, it was also the week that you couldn't do the 275.

He did the 275.

And he could clearly do more.

Yeah.

Okay, so good.

You're going to fit in perfectly.

You're stronger than Billy, and you hate Hank.

Are we going to call you Max?

Are we going to call – what's Max Homa's real first name?

John?

Yeah.

Are we going to call you Maxwell?

What do you want?

Philly Mays?

What do you want?

I mean, my name is Max.

It's Max for now until you earn a nickname. Nah, we don't like that.
Until you do something weird. No, I don't like your name.
You're Batgirl. I'm fine with that.
I'm like 50% not joking. I kind of want to see it.
We can just start calling her Batgirl. We introduce her like some fucking big star comes in.
We're like, all right, that's Hank. That's Jake, that's Batgirl.
Fuck, I think you're Batgirl. Dude, I know.
You might be Batgirl. I'm all right with Batgirl.
Batgirl, that was a hilarious segment. All right, listen, Batgirl, I'm going to sleep on it tonight and I'm going to decide if you are Batgirl, but you might be Batgirl.
I'm just here for the good of the show, so I can be Batgirl.

Okay, so everyone can follow him at Philly Maze.

Like I said, Hank is now in the hot seat because he can't slander the city of Philadelphia without someone to represent Philly.

It's going to make him look worse, so I'm not worried about that.

Yeah.

Well, you can't look worse than being Batgirl.

Right.

So it's already happened.

Sure.

This is your king, Batgirl. You're going to have so many people tweet you tomorrow be like what's up bat girl i mean i have i have to take it what else am i supposed to do no you're bat girl you're bat girl all right and my cool throne is food so my cool throne is food um i've noticed that cool food has just been recently.
We have, pardon my, cheesesteaks, delicious. But yeah, Billy hasn't challenged any food recently.
I've noticed that too. So Billy has only gotten his ass kicked by food in the past.
Yeah. What are the ones that you failed? You failed the 72-ounce steak challenge.
The tons of cheeseburgers. Oh, the wings.
Don't forget, you failed the wings too yeah okay so and um we have grit week next week we're going to colorado uh jake's actually got something i'll kick it to jake first on hot seat cool throne so he can fill in with what we need in colorado but what i need is i need everyone in rado to offer up food challenges local food challenges they have to be to be existing food challenges. So don't, you can't make anything up, but local bars, whatever.
What's the coolest food challenge in Colorado? Because I think Billy's got to get back in the ring. I've got an idea.
Yeah. I'm sure there's a place in Colorado that serves Rocky mountain oysters.
Oh, like see how many, how many testicles you can eat. Actually, that is huge for the tea Yeah That spikes the fucking You're already getting mentally prepared That's good I can't wait to see you This is gonna be great Dude You guys If I get hopped up on Rocky Mountain Oysters You're not gonna want me around Oh yeah That'd be a real He's gonna be No It's gonna be like a 50 50 testicle challenge Billy's gonna eat to eat 30, and then we're going to make fun of him,

and he's going to be like, you guys don't understand.

I got so much tea now.

I'll fucking outbench Pat girl any day of the week.

Billy's due.

He's going to flip out.

As a plus sign hunter, there's a humongous one next to his name.

He's going to eat, like, yeah, you said like 60% of the challenge,

and then he's going to do something egregious and completely irresponsibly. Like, it's because you me eat all that tea that has really made me act out on this trip.
Yeah. I had to drink those 40 Coors Lights because I had to bring down my tea.
We should have people tweet at Billy and let him pick. Yeah.
That way it's something that you think you can do. Right, and again, I want it to be something that exists.
So I want it to be something that Billy can get his name or a picture on a wall. I don't want it to be something made up, so don't hit us up if you own a restaurant and you're like, you're going to make some, I want there to be history behind it, and I want Billy to get back in the ring against food, because there's nothing I enjoy more than watching food just kick the shit out of Billy.
How about this? How about Billy gets to choose which competition he he's going to do but then we can choose to appeal it to ourselves if we don't like it yes like goodell yeah no how about jake gets to pick he's the independent arbiter he's sue robinson okay we're goodell so we get to appeal billy you present your evidence to jake and then jake will choose and then we can appeal it to ourselves yes i do think we should all try Rocky Mountain oysters though okay okay sure sure down dude good cause get the tea up with everyone taurine yeah active ingredient Red Bull nice no free ads look at your tea up yeah you meant C4 C4 C4 yeah has taurine in it yeah uh okay uh let me do Jake first because Jake has something along the lines yeah I'll I'll go reverse. My cool throne is AWL's in Denver.
Rado. Yes, the debut of Hard Knocks taking place Tuesday night, August 9th.
I believe it'll be an 8 p.m. Mountain Time start, 10 p.m.
Eastern. Okay, that's good math.
So we are looking for an AWL's house to watch the debut at. And I'm pumped up about this.
Yeah saw the first clip from from uh old dan campbell talking about grit that's gonna be very appropriate thing to watch yeah so we've done this a couple years in a row it's very fun we did we went to a nice last year yeah a nice couple's house in ohio they're engaged at the time yeah they're married by now yeah congrats to them or maybe they're divorced or broke up shouldn't have cheated. That was fucked up of him.
Remember when he pulled this aside and he's like, you think this is all I bang? So here's what we're looking for. You're going to email all your submissions.
That actually didn't happen. If the person out there is listening to this, I just want to be crystal clear.
That didn't happen. She pulled all of us aside.
She was like, airtight. That also aside she was like airtight yeah that also didn't have that's also a joke yeah that's also a joke we fucked really nice yeah we fucked their dog that's all yeah and each other yeah um and then remember the remember a few years before that in wisconsin when we went to the aw's house and it was we usually like to pick a guy and a girl because we know that like hey hey, they live together.
They can't be that crazy. And we went to an A.W.'s house and it was a girl.
Shout out to all of our female listeners. And her boyfriend just didn't listen and didn't care.
And we just sat in her living room and we watched Hard Knocks. And he was like, who are these dudes? They're definitely broken up.
I thought that was fine. Like, I because we were just watching football.
But then afterwards, when we left, I was like, that guy probably didn't want us in his house. Well, and she asked for a picture for him to take it.
Yeah. And that was bad.
That was awkward. That was bad.
But we do like to do a couple because it goes along with her, like, no freaks policy. Yeah, actually, a little impromptu guys on chicks because we're not doing it this week.
If you are in a relationship and you want to get out of it, we will probably come and break it up for you. Or how about fucking talking about Grit Week memories, guys and girls, when, what was it, brother and sister got fake married? Oh, yeah, fake married.
That was weird. And then they married him in the back of the van.
At the end, we're like, we're brother and sister. Yeah, that was very weird.
This was a joke. It was a classic bit.
I'm going to say right now, is going to be the best grit week yet. Agreed.
I'm going to say it. Hard to agree.
I'm going to say it because I just feel the vibes in Colorado. We've got some fun things planned.
We've got some big interviews planned in Colorado. I'm very excited.
So, Jake, what are they going to do? So, here's what you have to do. PMTINtern at BarstoolSports.com.
Email your submission. So, Big County PFC won a couple.
I think last year we had them submit a picture of the setup, so it's big enough to fit everybody. Don't just restrict it, though.
You never know. No, yeah, you can give your shot.
Yeah. A dog would be nice, too.
Yeah, because we want Jake to suffer. I took Zyrtec last year.
They had a dog. I was okay.
It's only for an hour. A dog would be nice.
What else do you guys have? We will bring the food. We will bring dinner.
Part of my cheese sticks. Part of my cheese sticks.
We will bring dinner. We will bring our own food, yes, but a bowl of candy wouldn't hurt.
If they had some M&Ms just laying on the coffee table. Yeah.
Any other requests that you have for the submissions? PMT. You're at Barclaysports.com.
Yeah, deal breaker. Billy's not really an indoor type of animal, but he will be with us, so just be ready for that.
If you have a yard with like a stake with a leash that we can put on it, that'd be nice. Yeah, a zip line.
We can just have Billy run up and down the yard. What radius from downtown Denver is the cutoff? Let's call it 20 miles.
20 miles from Denver. 15.
Let's call it 15. Okay.
Let's call it 15 miles. So yeah, so Tuesday night, August 9th, PMTInternetBarstoolSports.com.
Submit all of that info that we just talked about, and we'll pick a winner.

And we will have a meet and greet, by the way, that night.

Location, TBD.

But that Tuesday night, somewhere in Denver, we're going to figure out a bar that everyone can come and say hello to us.

In the city.

In the city.

So get ready for that.

We're very excited to hang out with the people of Rado.

We've got a lot of big things planned might be might be hiking the world's tallest mountain we don't know yeah maybe maybe very excited that's in colorado uh okay and your hot seat my hot seat's tony larusa uh he was caught dozing off in the dugout yeah socks game in the first inning i i just i feel for him he's so old like old people just sleep they take naps right now because the graphic of middle bottom first is on yeah yeah that better that than behind a wheel though so making some progress yeah that's true that's very true yeah so i also think that baseball is the most sleepable sport he's just in. If you're taking a snooze, I imagine that most managers,

if you were to put truth serum on them,

be like, hey, have you ever fallen asleep during a game that you were managing?

Most of them would say, yeah.

Also, bottom of the first, there's no need to call in the bullpen for the manager.

And you also hate nothing.

Everyone has or has had grandparents.

That's what they do.

They just kind of nod off every now and then. That just goes to show you how much work he puts in before the games.
Yeah, it's true. He's super tired in the first.
So tired. Alright, Billy, finish us off with the hot seat, cool throw, and then we'll get to Luke Fickle.
My hot seat is the AFC East. Today, I visited Jets camp, and I have to say, they are all totally on the hot seat because the Jets are an absolute wagon and their offense looked electric.

Seriously.

What was the – give us like the play that wowed you.

You're like, this year's different.

This year's different.

I saw Zach Wilson throw a dime to Corey Davis on the sideline.

It was probably about 35 yards on a line,

but it was the hardest throw in football, out and up.

So he put it high and outside.

Nice. It was perfect.
Was it an NFL throw, a big-time time throw? Yes, big time NFL throw. Was the defense on the field? Yes, it was 11 on 11.
Good question. I didn't think to ask that.
Sauce Gardner almost made a play on the ball, but he couldn't get to it because it was such a well-placed ball. So it's good defense, better offense.
off yeah everyone was awesome everyone's all pro exactly scenario uh but actually the real the guy who really impressed me and we saw it a little in the end of uh last season but ben mitts has always been telling me about elijah moore he's like elijah moore elijah moore he got me to barstool he's amazing and i haven't watched him that much i saw him today in person and he was making grabs all over the field he was actually like he played so well just in that practice it was like that guy is a different kind of player yeah like he's a step above everybody else uh did you see your coach yes did you talk to him salah yeah yeah you talked to him no i didn't talk to him oh okay i just wanted to say his name yeah how do you say it salah Salah. Salah.
Wait, that's like completely

different ways.

They're literally

literally no one

knows how to say

this.

I'm excited for you,

Billy, because I

actually do think

the Jets are going

to be good this year.

I think definitely,

I mean, on the

Barstool Sportsbooks,

they only have

their win total

is six over under.

Totally take the over.

Garrett Wilson

was also playing

in the beginning

of the practice. He did stumble a little then he didn didn't play for the rest of the practice, but he's fine.
But they have a whole cast of characters. They have definite players.
Their offense... They have a full roster.
For the first time... They have more than a full roster right now.
They have several... They're probably going to have to get rid of something.
They have so many guys. The Patriots is like Gronk, Welker, Edelman.

So you're comparing this New York Dys team, real quick,

to the best offensive football team of all time.

The Chiefs, they had Kelsey, Mahomes, Tyreek Hill.

We got Barrios, Mims.

Mims had a huge touchdown. I actually totally agree with what Billy's saying, as stupid as it sounds here.
And I think I'm going to help you out here. Like they have puzzle pieces if they put them together.
No, no, no. What you're saying, and I agree with you here, they have recognizable names.
Yeah. And that actually matters a lot.
Exactly. Yeah.
None of them have done anything. But they will.
You know, like if you say the name Zach Wilson or Elijah Moore or Garrett Wilson. Braxton Berrios.
Yeah, Braxton Berrios. Like Garrett Wilson.
Exactly. Like you're like, oh yeah, that guy.
Well, Big Cat, when you think about some other teams, like the 49ers, you know, they had like Joe Montana, they had Jerry Rice, they had Mike Clark, they had Ronnie L Lott. The Jets, they've got guys.
To back up what Billy's saying, name four dudes on the Jaguars offense, skill players. Kyle Slaughter, Trevor Lawrence, Travis Etienne.
People forget, first round pick coming back. And then Christian Kirk.
You got three, so I said four. Slow to count.
Skill players, you can't. It's not like a full package.
I'm not diehard Jaguars fan. But that's what he's saying, though.
When you can name guys, that matters. Exactly.
Yeah. I think you're right, Billy.
And our head coach is a defensive genius, so I know they're going to plug all the holes and dot all their I's. Here's a better way to put it.
The Jets will have most of their offensive skill players drafted in fantasy. That's nice.
Yeah, that's a big jump. That's the name test.
So, Billy, last year I think you said if Zach Wilson makes the playoffs, you would convert to Mormonism? Is that what it was? I think I said if he won a Super Bowl, I would convert to Mormonism. Okay.
So that's still I said if you want a Super Bowl I would convert to Mormon okay so that's still on the table okay I was gonna say like what if they win it this year the super or get to the playoffs yeah you should bang your mom's friend yeah that's what it is you should dock in your mom's friend's butt we'll figure out We'll cross it. Or you could dock your mom's friend's husband.

My mom's friends with many people. Okay, so you got a lot of options.
That's nice. Nice, dude.
Shit. We could work that out.
It's a big ocean out there, Billy. Yeah.
Where was I? Yeah, so Cool Throne, Drones. Which one of your mom's friends is hottest? Okay, Cool Throne I don't think Billy's got that dog You haven't eaten enough Rocky Mountain oysters to do that He's just a little pop Cool Throne, Drones Drones took out another terrorist Shout out Drones Good job, Obama Knife D.
Obama is definitely still on the sticks.

You don't give that up.

They're getting the right people this time.

Obama was nice on the sticks.

Biden is not on the sticks.

Obama didn't give up the controller.

Biden is the definition.

Biden probably is that meme with the dad walking into the room on his son.

Biden walks in while Obama's got his Xbox out.

How are you doing there, son?

Are you winning?

Biden probably has a controller. It's just the broken one.

Thank you. Biden walks in while Obama's got his Xbox out.
How are you doing there, son? Are you winning? Biden probably has a controller. It's just the broken one.
It's like the little brother who gets the broken controller. Yeah, the broken controller.
Then the N64 with the joystick doesn't work. He's like, wait, this drone didn't hit.
And Obama's just like, got another one. So, Billy, did you see the missile that they shot up this guy's ass? Yeah.
It's crazy. This is an insane thing.
I don't know why they invented this other than it's fucking terrifying it's not a bomb it doesn't explode it's got these blades that are on it and so the blades just spin and they shoot it directly at the person and then it just chops them into pieces it's pretty fucking wild it's wild precise yeah yeah yeah that's terrifying yeah like don't hypothetically don't commit like egregious acts of terrorism that will kill thousands and thousands of people and you won't get that yeah don't do 9-11 yeah your choice is yours you have nothing to worry about yeah but if you do you're getting fucking razor blades up your ass yeah no we looked at a picture of it it looks crazy whoever put Whoever invented that in jail, they have a fucked up mind. Well, no, just like, yeah, put them in an insane.
They probably got the person out of an insane asylum to design it. Yeah.
Okay. Good hot seat.
Cool thrown by everyone. Let's get to Luke Fickle, and then we're going to do the Mount Rushmore fruits to end the show on the other end.
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Now here's Luke Fickle. Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo a million awards last year do you know how many awards you actually won let's start with that like you i think you won every award we won the aac championship as a team that's the only thing i really know nice smart i think i i have a list here i think you won um you won like the home depot coach of the year sporting news college football coach of the year bobby dodd uh coach of the year eddie robinson coach of the year afca coach of the year paul bear bryan award uh the pmt aac Coach of the Year.
Eddie Robinson, Coach of the Year. AFCA, Coach of the Year.

Paul Bear Bryant Award.

The PMT, AAC, Coach of the Year.

Yes, you won that. You won Football Guy of the Week before from us

when you did the pull-ups on the rafters.

There you go.

By the way, that was my fourth set.

So you guys know that I failed after the fourth or fifth one.

But that was set number four.

That wasn't the first set. So I was a little wore out.
So set the record straight. How many pull-ups can you do? Oh, well, I mean, I don't know that I challenge myself every day to do it, but I don't know, full body? I mean, we don't use the full body? Yeah, we're not doing the like kipping, swinging pull-ups.
We're talking about like the real ones. Before I actually pull my back muscle, I probably can't get more than six to eight but uh that's pretty good well unless i'm challenged you know sometimes it's a little different at times yeah so you got uh camp is about to open right we were like a few days away how does it i would imagine like we're excited for football to be back but as a head coach is it like the first the few days before camp you're just giddy and ready to go? It is.
It is. It's like – you know, it's kind of like Christmas Eve in some ways.
You know, but there's a lot of – there's a lot of anxiety too. You know, for us, I call it life without Desmond Ritter and Kobe Bryant are new and different.
Those are guys that have been here since day one with us and had just – not that they were always the best player player not the the leader um but just guys that had been around for so long so it's it's different uh in some ways it's a little bit more exciting because you don't know nearly as much about what you really are going to look like i mean we've got this vision but the next 20 days will tell a lot about uh you know who we're going to be well you got ben bryant. Is that awkward at all? The fact that he left and then he comes back.
Is there like, you know, it's like when you break up with someone and get back together, like we're not going to talk about our time apart. Hope you had fun.
We had fun. Let's just move forward at this point.
Yeah, I guess I never thought about it like that. But, yeah, we haven't talked about that nine months away.
I don't really know what was going on. But it is.
It's unique. But, you know, for us, we kind of look at him as one of us.
And so it was never something that, you know, because it's uniquely different sometimes when you bring somebody in, especially in a key position like that, about how it kind of, you know, feels to everybody else. But the unique thing is, is he was kind of been embraced.
Last year, the Mac would play on a Friday night or they'd play on a Tuesday night. Our locker room, they'd be watching Ben Bryant play.
On a Friday night, they'd all be down there watching him play if they were playing or streaming it in a different way. So even though he wasn't here, he was pretty well connected to us.
So week one is Arkansas, right back back to the SEC have you how many times have you watched the the playoff game against Alabama or was it a uh let's burn the tape and move on moment no no I've probably five six times at least um yeah yeah it's I don't know if you ever heard the year before we played, I didn't watch that game until like two days before spring ball started because it was so gut-wrenching that I was like, I can't watch it until we've got football like right the next day or so. The Alabama was a little bit different.
I needed to see, I needed to know some things. So it's been something I've watched, and I think we've watched.
We watched it as a team throughout the entire spring in some positive ways of just making sure guys understand where we are and what we need to do to take that next step. And now, I'm just curious, in terms of talking to the players, because as we watch it, there's clearly a gap.
And I you know, there's a couple big third downs that if you guys had converted, it might have been a little bit closer. But there's clearly a gap with the guys that Alabama has.
How do you rectify that in the locker room when you're going up against another SEC opponent where you're like, you want to be honest, but you also don't want to, you know, have everyone be, like, demoralized by the fact that they got pros up and down the field and there's just a difference in type of athlete that the sec or in alabama has versus you guys no and when we watched it we watched it every saturday in the spring and watched as an offensive watch as a defense and it was more to be positive about here here's where the unique little situations are. You know, we didn't play well coming out the gate maybe, or, you know, we didn't do some of the things defensively that we had done so good all year.
And so it was in a positive light to make sure they understand that there's a fine line between, you know, good and great. And, you know, in our eyes, they were great and we were just, you know, pretty darn good.
And, but it wasn't just, you know, well, they're bigger than you and they're fat. No, I mean, you know, we had nine guys drafted.
We were right up there in every situation. It was just a little bit more of handling the situation and handling the, I think, the atmosphere and, you know, playing within yourself that I was trying to make the point of, as opposed to, ah, we got knocked off the ball.
Hey, they ran for 220 yards because, you know, they're bigger than us up front. There's obviously some differences maybe, and it's going to show up front a little bit.
But I think that in a lot of ways it was, hey, we're not far off, guys. We just got to do what we do and be us and execute better.
I like that. And it was a great story.
I felt like it was like a breath of fresh air into college football to have you guys crash the party, so to speak. I was a skeptic all year.
I thought you guys were going to get squeezed out. No, I wasn't a skeptic of your team.
I was a skeptic of the system. So it's got to feel good, though, knowing that you can go and recruit guys now and be like, look, we obviously don't know where this whole thing is heading in the playoff, but as it stands right now, like, hey, we did it.
We got there. We can compete for a national championship.
That has to be a huge feather in your cap when you're going into people's living rooms. Well, it was kind of threefold, to be honest with you.
Everything kind of fell in line right now this year. So the things that can hurt you in the long run, obviously we were talking recruiting first and foremost for us, it had been the league kind of, and obviously we're, you know, one more, one more year here, and then we're moving to the big 12.
And then obviously it's always the playoffs. Everybody wants to, well, you know, I want a chance to championship.
I want, and to have that opportunity where we, you know, got ourselves in the playoff, got in the mix. You've kind of broke that barrier.
And then, then it's always the NFL draft. You know, we, we recruited in the Midwest against the big 10 and some of the SEC.
And it's always, well, you know, the SEC or, you know, has this many guys drafted and, you know, and for us to Ohio state is right here in the home state. Oh, they had this many guys drafted.
And now, you Ohio State is right here in the home state. They had this many guys drafted.
And now you have an opportunity to say, we had nine guys drafted and more than maybe a lot of those guys had that year. So for us, moving everything forward, it was kind of threefold.
You kind of hit the trifecta right there with all three in one year that helped guys understand, hey, there's an opportunity here that maybe you didn't envision in the first place. Yeah.
Are you a little concerned that moving to the Big 12, there's going to be, like, you're going to ruffle some feathers. It might not be a great culture fit because you guys actually play defense.
And that's kind of what you're known for. So is Baylor going to be like, wait, I can't score 55 points against you guys? Like, why do we invite them to the party? It'll be unique.
I mean, hey, what's still going to change, right? I mean, that's another year away. And goodness sakes, the way college football is moving, who knows? There could be some more teams in there.
And, you know, it could even be uniquely different from what we see right now. But I think for us, I think, you know, we're not going to change who we are.
And, you know, maybe you have to adapt. Maybe you got to adjust.
I know that as you look back at it, TCU was a team that, you know, obviously I think adapted, adjusted as they continued to climb and move into different leagues. And I've talked to them a little bit about how they changed and adapted to new areas and new leagues and things.
And I know that there'll be some adaptation for us, but we don't want to stray far from who we really believe we are. I think you guys should play with 10 people on the field on defense.
I think that'd be fair. That'd be what they're used to.
We could have got away a little bit with that, with Sauce over there and the boundary maybe. We work out how to play at a 10-man game and a lot of the things that we were doing.
I tell people we were cheating last year in a lot of ways. Sometimes we just say that side over there is off the board and we get to play kind of a 10-on-10 over here.
When you realize you got a guy named Sauce Gardner on the team, are you just like, okay, well, he's starting? I don't need to see him practice. No, he was sitting on the bench as a freshman.
He was 155 pounds. The only reason he went in the game is we were playing UCF and they run 125 plays in the game.
So we're like, we've got to substitute these guys. The first series he was in, he broke up a ball in the game is we were playing UCF and they run 125 plays in the game so like we got to substitute these guys and the first series he was in he broke up a ball in the second series he was in he picked sixed it and I'm like okay we're not quite as smart a coach as I thought we were we better keep this guy in the game yeah that's why you need a dumb guy on your coaching staff like us who sees the name sauce garden we're like you have to start sauce yes that point in time, until he was drafted, he was just a mod to me.
And guys that walk in with those self-proclaimed nicknames, they don't usually rise to the top in our program right away. After that pick six, I think it was one of those things where more people started to recognize that nickname.
So I have a question about recruiting. One other question about recruiting.
Is there – I saw you were in some TikToks. Is there like a chart that your staff goes through where it's like, okay, this guy's a five-star.
I'll take off my shirt. I'll look like an idiot.
This guy's a three-star. Maybe I'll be on an Instagram story, but I'm not going to be on a TikTok.
Is there a conversion chart for recruiting? No, I don't know that we've got the conversion chart. I think that it's unique.
Any of those things that are more creative, and if it entails me doing anything outside my comfort zone, it's surely not my idea. And, uh, it's all the video side of things.
We've got a girl that I kind of promised when she didn't leave us, she had an opportunity to, you know, a lot of people are trying to take her. And I promised that, uh, I'll do whatever it is that you ask, you know, outside of my comfort zone, I'll do it if you ask me to do it.
So that's how I ended up on some TikToks. That's how I ended up on, you know, doing some of those things.
It wasn't even as much as the recruit as it was, you know, darn it. I promised somebody if they stuck with us that I, but I wouldn't, I wouldn't say no to any of these crazy things they asked me to do.
Okay. So, I mean, I, I appreciate the honesty, but I do, I do just imagine and hope that some program does have like a, an actual chart, you know actual chart big on the whiteboard where it's like, all right, this guy, I'll let him step over me.
This guy, maybe we'll just – all right, this guy's a five-star. I'll get in full pads with him.
We'll just do the whole thing. Oh, this guy's a two-star kicker.
Yeah, we won't even put anything on social media. I'm not saying any names.
I think maybe there are some to do that because I've seen some coaches that maybe have put themselves in some situations. I'm like, what were they thinking? But I never really quite envisioned it as, okay, that's a five-star.
Maybe they're going to go above and beyond and completely get out of what I would say is the comfort zone or even the friendly know, the friendly zone by any means. Is there, is there actually a de-recruitment process that you guys go through? You hear that term all the time.
And to me, it's just like coaches are like, yeah, after they get on campus, we start being assholes to them, you know? Well, you used to say that. I used to do one of those things.
Okay. The freshmen come in, you're going to de-recruit them.
Now with the transfer portal, like you've got it, everything you do, you do you got to make sure you're aware that you know there's a lot more cards that are held in the by the other guys so um you know believe me if you're within our program especially where we're getting ready to head to in three days uh the de-recruiting does itself we go out to a place called higher ground so we'll leave for like 18 19 days and uh you guys should come out i mean you would love it out there in the woods of indiana i mean it's it's a beautiful place and uh living in a barracks and and uh yeah this really sounds awesome the way we're in come to nowhere indiana and stay in a hut yeah and then hit each other they don't need to de-recruit all they do is take them out out here. They realize what they signed up for.
I would actually enjoy that, getting out to the middle of nowhere. It's like, you know, some people go off on meditation retreats.
Our good friend Coach Harbaugh taught us that the human body craves contact. I think sometimes we don't hit each other enough, and we kind of miss that.
I could agree with that, being being a former wrestler that's uh you know yeah without some some opportunities to to run into other humans yeah we're missing out we're losing some things but uh i promise you if you came out to west harrison indiana camp higher ground that there's plenty of things out there for you to hit uh or shoot or whatever it is that you like to do because uh that's out the middle of nowhere. Yeah I got I have two Ohio State questions for you they're not going to be you know I know that you are actually let me let me start with this is it you've been rumored for every job I know it's probably annoying at some point to have to deal with that with your players and everything but there's got to be a small part of you like this is kind of sick that every awesome job that gets opened up I'm like the first name that's listed it's got to be at least like you're doing something right you know like I know that you've been firm and you're I actually appreciate that you're like I'm staying here this is where I'm raising my family but like any job that gets opened up at any level and everyone's like Luke Fickle well it's better than the alternative right I, right? I mean, you've got shows, you've got books, you've got magazines.
Who's on the hot seat this year? So I guess if you'd say, which one do you want to pick? Don't get me wrong. I like the negative.
I like when people doubt you to maybe throw you on the hot seat question. But if choosing, I think I would go ahead and rather be in the positive light side.
Yes. All right.
So my two Ohio State questions were when you were a coach the first time there. The first is the national championship game against Miami.
Who's through the flag on your guys' sideline? Did it come from your pocket? Because I figure you like – It was my uncle. I don't know if you guys knew that.
Yeah. It's a distant though.
I think special teams coach, you would have been the perfect guy to be just walking around with a flag in your back pocket and toss that at the end of the game. As long as you didn't bring up the fake field goal, I think, that we attempted because that was not my call.
It was my first year as obviously back coaching and only my third year actually coaching. So, no, I would not google in the national championship game that didn't you know that didn't work that was the head guy um but no it was it's a distant cause you could not even actually in the bloodline you could even go back and find him even anywhere listed in the family tree but nonetheless yeah yeah he is related all all time moment were you were you like it's over did over? You obviously probably had that moment where you're like, yeah, it's over.
Because it was that long of a delay that it was like, and then boom. We talk about it all the time as sports fans that when you're watching football and your team has a big play go against you, you always are sitting there being like, but what about for like that split second and then you and then you accept your death did you were you were you already dead and then you're like oh then there's the flag see i'm a former nose guard so i live in the world of pauses i don't know if you've met some of us that you know braven one of those guys that played a long time that used their forehead as a battering ram, there's by nature a pause in everything that I do.
So I didn't even recognize, as a former defensive lineman that ran your head, your life is a pause. So that looked like it happened in sync to me.
So that's the only way I remember it. Okay, and then my other Ohio State question.
I'm a Badger. One of the first games I ever went to as a freshman, your player, which I don't think you were the linebackers coach yet, but I'm pretty sure you were the person who told him to do this.
I think you know where I'm going. So were you the guy who coached up for Robert Reynolds to choke out Jim Sorge? Yeah.
Was that you? Robert Reynolds from Kentucky? Yeah. No, I'm not laying claim.
You're right. I was not the linebacker coach at that time, but, but I do have a story of like that when my first year of coaching, when, you know, you're on the sidelines, you're all fired up and you tell your kids you got to go out there and, you know, just grab somebody and tear their throat out.
And I had a official come over to the side and threw a flag on a kid that came over and he said, uh, coach, he was grabbing the guy's throat under the pile and I looked at him and he looked at me. He's's like, he wanted to say it.
Like, Coach, he told me to tear his throat. I'm like, oh, my God.
That was a figure of speech. Like, do you not understand the difference between a figure of speech? So I learned my lesson early on.
So I would not have told Rob that, at least publicly. Yeah.
I mean, that also was one of those moments where it was before, like, you know, a million replay know a million replay views yeah that's like one of the first ever ones where something like that gets caught and then it gets replayed over and over again nowadays i mean there's 300 cameras on everything but he rob was probably the first one that i really remember that yeah he sent jim storage of the hospital choked him out oh i don't i don't know about that yeah I might I think he almost died yeah I think he had to bring him back to life yeah a leg dropped him afterwards too I think right I guess that's typical since Ric Flair had his last match we might as well get into some of the you know I think he maybe even dropped an elbow bomb on him that's typical Ohio State scumbag behavior where you're belittling like a man who almost died on the field because he couldn't breathe. So that's fine.
I get it. You've got to be true to yourself.
That's right. You have to wonder if Jim Sorge would have had a longer NFL career if he hadn't gotten choked out.
He probably would have made it 17, 18 years as opposed to 15. He probably would have, man.
Or he had some PTSD and he just had to retire a little early because he kept remembering it. Yeah, he took money out of that man's pocket.
I've got an Ohio State question for you, too. So we alluded to it.
You're good friends with Mike Vrabel, our friend. Were you guys actually roommates? We were roommates for four years, three of them officially, but he just decided to move into our apartment as freshman instead because we didn't like the dorm.
So he may have ran one of our roommates out because he kind of confiscated his room a little bit. But, yeah, you can save roommates for four years.
All right, wait. So Vrabel decides he's going to move in.
He doesn't want to stay in the dorms. And he essentially just takes another man's room and challenges him.
He's like, I am in this territory. If you want this territory, you have to take it from me.

I don't know that it had to be a challenge,

but he just seemed to almost commandeer it at the wee hours of the night

whenever he maybe needed it.

But, yeah, so he pretty much lived with us that entire first year as well.

But after that, yeah, for the next three years, I think we were roommates.

Who was the alpha in that relationship, you or him?

Ooh. Oh, me.
Ooh. No doubt about it.
Like, Vrabel's, he's an alpha. I tell you what, there's plenty of nights that, you know, that everybody was wore out by, can you guys just quit it? I mean, at some point in time, no one's going to tap out and no one's going to give in.
And they would just have to finally say, this let's just make it a draw here so uh the good news is probably after those years we were always pretty much on the same side so it would have been ugly had I ever had made it and had to go on the other side against him um because I'd have had to take some shots maybe when his back was turned because at that point in time he was you know obviously playing for tears a little bit above uh me so i had to take all shots when i needed yeah so if you look back on those times and you're like okay me and this guy mike we're staying up until four o'clock in the morning just wrestling just you know going out party and having a good time being you know being essentially you know kids would you ever have thought in a million years that you guys would end up like one uh top four in the college football playoff head coach and the other um an nfl head coach that just one coach of the year no but let me set the record straight he can't go he's like a pump at 2 30 he's a pumpkin now he anything after 2 30 he's done whether he was in college or not so four o'clock was not his his realm so So at 2.30, it was no more. But no, I would never have been.
He always wanted to be a coach. He always talked about being a coach.
Me, I didn't. But I knew whatever he was going to do, he was going to do it at a very, very high level.
And I always kind of thought it was fitting. But it's kind of unique unique that uh and we're closer now than you know being three and a half four hours away um you know so some ways get the chance to you know not that we have a lot of free time but at least you know talk about the same things and help each other out in some ways yeah so when was uh your first memory of uh of rabes threatening to cut off his penis for something because that wasn't like i know.
I thought it was I think it was his balls wasn't it? I know it was his penis. He's already gotten enough kids.
He would cut off his penis for a Super Bowl. But that to me seems like something that he had thrown around before.
I'll sometimes say something out loud and it's like I've been testing that out. So I'd imagine he imagine he's like you're like if you don't give me this room i'm gonna cut my dick off like something like that yeah he uh i don't know that i've there's a lot of sayings that he had used i'm not sure i quite remember that one exactly i don't know that i'm gonna bring up a few of the others but there's always a few things that were off the wall that uh pretty much stuck uh i actually didn't see that but i think maybe about an hour after whatever article or whatever that was that came out i think i probably got three or four text messages uh from people former friends even i think my own father sent me a message to say what is what is mike here? So, yeah, it was quite unique.
Let me ask you the question. Would you cut off Mike Vrabel's penis for a college football championship? Sure.
Yes. Okay, there we go.
He's already throwing it out there. He's got plenty of kids, man.
I guess he's got what he needs. I actually do have one more Ohio State question.
This one's a little weird. You probably haven't gotten it, but we spent some time with your old boss, Jim Trestle, and you were the special teams coach.
Did it ever creep you out how addicted he was to punts? Because when we sat with him, he started just listing the best punts he's ever seen, and I think he loves punts more than any other part of football. Most important playing football, I'd say.
Every series needs to end with some type of kick. No, it was quite unique.
That's kind of the way I brought up, but being a conservative by nature that obviously 10, 11 years with Coach Tress, one the unique things as i you know came here i had to kind of try to find a way after year one to change my mindset you know because that's ingrained in you and uh so we we have we have i have just adjusted and adapted you know not being uh not saying a punt's not important but uh not trying to end uh every with some version of a punt or kick. Yeah, but he does really, he's very passionate about it.
He came to life when he was talking about punts. He says the only play in football that starts with the offense touching it and ends with the defense touching it and the defense becomes the offense.
It's like, wow, I've never thought of it that way, but it's very true. He's got like an encyclopedia of punts all set up in his head.
And yeah, we love getting to visit with him. And I'm impressed with what you've done at Cincinnati, and especially like going to Cincinnati, I think you were ranked as like the top defensive coach sabermetrically, like in all of college football.
Did you have any of those insights into what kind of analytics they were putting in? I think I saw somebody say they ran 100,000 simulations of college football games and you were the best coach. Do you have any insight into that data? No.
Believe me, my mind does not think quite like that. And some of that is way above me.
It's funny because we were just talking about mike and obviously the nfl is so far i'm not saying advanced because college football

is going to another level as well but you know with all their own analytics they have their own

analytics departments and so i actually called about two weeks ago and started to ask him on a

few of these analytic things that because we're similar minded and sometimes these analytics are

just like you have these guys come in and present to you they've never played a game of football in

I don't deal with some of that crap i mean you know there's a lot of things that just wholeheartedly are in your mind and in your heart you know so i think that similar in some ways to us i i didn't run it to see uh where i best bid or whatever those things were and you know and sometimes in games like that we don't have a whole lot of time to you know to go ask your analytics guy upstairs that uh is crunching the the numbers. We play this game with every guest we have on.
We'll go around the room. I'll start.
PFT will go second, and then you'll go third. It's called Predict Cincinnati's Schedule and what their final record is going to be.
I'm going to say regular season, I'm going to say they're going to go 11-1. I think they're to go 10-2 I have a surprise loss against Navy that offense is tough to prepare for and coach you're up we'll play for a championship usually the guest gives us a number we did this last week with Andrew Schultz the comedian he said that you guys were going to go 11-1 too.
I wore 99 in college.

What other numbers would you like?

I got a bunch of kids.

I could read you.

They got numbers too.

Yeah.

My wife's got a phone number.

I don't know it, but I can bring out my phone and try to look it up.

Okay.

All right.

So like 10, 11 wins, somewhere around there.

Yeah, that sounds right.

Yeah, that sounds about right. Yeah.

There you go.

How soon in the season do you start preparing if you're going up against a service academy? We love watching those offenses. Oh, God, I don't.
But, yes, we do it in spring. We'll do it in our little OTA stuff.
And then we'll do it every third night out of camp. So every third night we'll do a triple option.
So we actually have two of those. We have two triple option teams this year, Navy being one.
Are you ready for the fact like it is unique that you guys are in your league for this last season? You do know that like you have the built in excuse of like, oh, the refs were mean to us because we're going to the Big 12. We can do that for you.
We can just say that for you if you'd like, because you can't say it, but if you want us to do it, it will just cost, I don't know, like a couple million bucks. Well, we've been one of the most penalized teams over the last five years in college football.
So I don't know that this one year with us maybe leaving, we can use that as an excuse of like, well, hold on. It's a trend.
You guys have been the most penalized team in college football over the last five. So I don't know that the officials are going to have as great an impact on throwing flags against you guys because they do anyway.
So, but we are, I do feel like we're a man without a country at times with a lot of the things that are going on and everybody kind of sticking tight with their, with their, you know, with their leagues, you know, we, we don't have as much communication and connection. Quite frankly, sometimes I feel left out.
Yeah, that is sad. Wait, so how do you fix the penalty thing? That's interesting because does it drive you crazy? Or are you like, no, we've had success, it's okay? No, it drives us crazy.
I mean, I always tell them, look, I don't want to be the least penalized team in the country because if you're the least penalized team, to me, you're playing a little bit more passive. Like, look, if we get a personal foul, we're playing through the whistle and everything we do, we're going to be aggressive, which things are going to happen.
But, guys, I would prefer us not to be in the bottom, you know, 2% of the nation of the nation every year. But so last year we were only, I think 70th in yards per game, but we still were like a hundred and 20th in penalties per game.
So that, if you don't know what that means, you can ask your analytics guy. That's probably back there.
Hey, that's because they make some stupid penalties the ball's snapped, jumping off sides and false starting. Hopefully, we can figure out ways to change that a little bit.
I wonder why that is. I wonder why.
Let's just say, we'll say that the refs have it out for you already. There you go.
My theory is that it's a lingering carryover effect from Cincinnati basketball, going back to some of the brawls that Mick Cronin's guys got in. bob huggins cronin yeah yeah that's they see the cincinnati logo and they're like oh these guys play violent they add a little extra 10 on so we're gonna be on the lookout for them i would blame the basketball program you know what i think that's a good idea i think that's a good idea they've been holding us back for a while now yep it's always good to have a scapegoat ready to go that You gotta have that crutch.
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plans to go out in abercrombie shop their newest arrivals in store and online okay last question and i love to ask these type of questions because we see the game from a different angle of like the human element this year you're in ohio state you know you went to ohio state you coached there you got friends, family, everything. I'm sure that the rivalry is very important to you.
But this year, Michigan beats Ohio State. Was there a small, maybe 1% of you, that was happy because now you're not the last time that Michigan beat Ohio State as the interim head coach? Like the human element, you got to be like, finally people will stop bringing up 2011.
You know what? I never thought about it. Yeah.
I'm glad that you brought that up because last year, so we played on a Friday. We played Friday, and then obviously that game was on Saturday.
So we played Friday night, and so actually it was a great day because we got to sit out back, and I was watching the game with my kids, and I got twin seven-year-olds, right? And they literally looked at me and said dad we're rooting for Michigan I said what do you mean he's like well you know it's not you know obviously we want to be we want to move ahead you know because they were looking at the rankings and I looked literally had to look at it say no we don't ever root for what are you guys crazy what are we doing no that's that's our alma mater and so but if I had thought about it like that i would be like darn right yeah i don't want to be the last guy to have lost yeah yeah it's got to be like it's it's a silver lining of like people will stop bringing up 2011 yeah there you go thank god why do i stop getting those text messages and emails somebody else to send them to now yes yes yeah you're no longer featured in that little graphic that they show on the bottom of the screen every time the game's on. It's said with interim coach Luke Fickle.
Yeah, yeah. Well, I didn't realize that.
Now I know exactly why those messages have stopped coming to me. That's great that they've got somebody else to send them to.
Awesome. Yeah.
I have one last, last question, I'm always curious about what a Bearcat is every time I see the name Bearcat because I've never seen a Bearcat. Do you have a Bearcat? Is there one on campus? It's actually housed at the Cincinnati Zoo just down the street.
Oh, no. By Harambe.
Get it out. Get out.
Careful. Yeah.
So we can bring them out whenever needed. Vicious, though.
So I don't know. If you guys come to higher ground, I promise you I'll have the Bearcat out there that day.
Okay. I mean, this is a you're putting on a hell of a cell here.
Yeah. And you have to know don't make us eat Skyline and we'll be fine.
I'll eat Skyline. We're in Indiana.
So we actually go across the border there. To get away from Skyline.

I like that.

You don't have to eat Skyline if you come to West Terrace in Indiana. Yes, yes.
Well, Coach, this has been awesome. We really appreciate your time.
We will take you up on it. It might not be this year, but I think next year we've got to come.
Okay. All right.
You got it. All right.
I'll send you the schedule. Awesome.
Thanks so much, Coach. Thanks, Coach.
All right, man. Thanks for having me.
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Okay, let's wrap up. We got Mount Rushmore of Fruit.
Who won the last one? I don't know. Jake, why didn't you say that? No, Hank, can you look it look it up who won the last one? Oh, okay.
Nice. Nice.
Thanks. We're running up the score.
All right, so we get to choose who goes first. Yeah.
I think we go third. Yeah, I don't want to go first.
This draft is deep. Real deep.
Fruits are... We could do double fruit draft.
Also, for the record, before we start... Also, for the record, having two teams...
Hank, shut the fuck up. Fuck you, Hank.
10 to 20,000 times the followers is the rest of the groups. Someone say that makes no sense.
We should actually have an idea. Why don't we just make it nameless and make it team one, team two, team three.
Okay, well, I recall suggesting that a couple years ago and then Hank not having such a great reaction. No, that was Big Cat, but you're just saying that because you don't want to get your team upset but big cat was the one that well i also said you also said we should no i i never said no i said no to no to whoever said we shouldn't vote that was pft yeah i said we should vote i never said no to nameless i said voting that's a fact jack well what i'm saying about about this fruit situation.
I realized BFT offered up different ideas to just change every. Yeah.
Yeah, because you guys don't want to do it yourself. No, because I'm just an ideas guy.
I'm just throwing ideas out left and right. So for this draft, I want to make it clear.
Just don't flex when you have 10 times the followers. That's all I'm saying.
We shut the fuck up. Seriously.
This is exactly what Mount Rushmore should be in August. But Hank needs to learn how to shut the fuck up.
Out of each other's throat. Yeah, get it.
Say it again. Shut the fuck up.
You and your fucking team with Batgirl? All right. So what I was going to say about the fruit is I...
We talked about this a little bit earlier. I don't think that bullshit fruits like tomatoes and avocados should be on this list.
Agreed. The tomatoes should not be on this list.
No, no, no, no. We're talking about real fruit.
No, no, no, no. What defines a real fruit? I know about the seeds.
The different... No, no, no.
That's bullshit. All right, then define a real fruit.
Define a real fruit. Joey! Pat! I want the regular...
You can't look me in the eye and say that a tomato is a fruit. A tomato is literally built almost exactly the same as a...
It's a fruit. Don't give any spoilers away, dude.
Fuck, you almost said a fruit. Dude, I had all those off-brand fruits.
Yeah, no, they're... All right, fine.
You guys can use those. We're not going to lower ourselves.
I'm going to hit you with an off-brand fruit that's going to knock your socks off. I'll hit you with one that you're going to fucking cry when I pick it.
I bet Jake's really excited about your weirdo choice that you're about to make. Yeah, this is going to – you're going to – you've already lost the draft.
Dude, it's – You've already lost the draft. Well, you know, we're just trying to be unique and have fun because, as you said – Say it.
Say it. Billy.
I mean, look, you guys have powerful retweets. Yes.
Okay, Billy, I won't retweet this one, but I just want you to know that dingleberry is not a fruit. So don't try to pick that.
Darn. Okay.
All right, Billy, you guys go first. Then Hank, memes, and Batgirl go second, and then we'll go third.
This is just and me tonight but we're gonna okay and we'll get

back all right we're gonna start off uh with trying to we're gonna forget why we call him call this family i like oh yeah i'm gonna be the producer bar one fucking one episode of batgirl No, you're Batgirl now

We're gonna start off with bananas

I feel like bananas are

Good One fucking one episode of Batgirl. No, you're Batgirl now.
We're going to start off with bananas. I feel like bananas are good.
That's bananas. Sure.
There's not much of an exclamation. No, listen.
They're good. No, that's a good pick.
And it's super fruity. No, and you took an offensive lineman with 1-1.
That's a good pick. Sometimes you need championship.
It's a solid pick. Yeah, no, it is.
It's a good pick. Right.
All right, we're going to go with a flashy star, best fruit, especially this time of year. No-brainer.
Also, the best fruit flavor for drinks, so that should be factored into watermelon. Okay, good choice.
Good choice. That is a flashy wide receiver.
That's a great way to describe it.

We had it.

We had Watermelon marked as our high one.

That was my number two overall selection.

So I vote we go maybe the first one that I listed.

Yeah, definitely.

That's not good.

Easy.

Easy.

This right here.

Flex on them.

It's probably not a wide receiver.

I'd say this is a quarterback. This is a surefire, can't-miss quarterback.
Strawberry. The mighty strawberry.
Delicious. Strawberry.
Versatile. You can put it in any meal, basically.
Delicious. Put it in smoothies, covered in chocolate.
The best in smoothies. Yeah.
The best in smoothies. I think every smoothie has strawberries.
But on its own? Yeah. Yeah, Hank.
I don't know. Have you ever been seductively fed a watermelon? Wait, what do you mean on its own? Are you eating just blendering just a banana straight? No, but I eat bananas.
I raw dog bananas like it's my job. I raw dog watermelon like it's my job.
Hey, hey. Strawberries all day.
PFT, you're the biggest hypocrite ever. Yes, Billy.
A strawberry is a false fruit. Oh.
It is not a true fruit. It's a fucking bear.
Talk about beards. It's a fruit.
Billy, a strawberry is a fruit. Yeah, there we go.
No, but technically, if you want to get picky about fruit, it is not. In the strawberry, the flower has many separate carpels embedded on the flower base or receptacle.
The fleshy part of the bit we eat is solely made from receptacle tissue, so it is a false fruit. Hey, Billy, guess what? It's a false fruit.
A strawberry is actually a multiple fruit, bitch. It's a false fruit.
It's a double fruit. It's a fruit.
PFT, should we go with the one that we forgot or the fourth on the tier one list I sent you. I think those are our two selections.
Tough. You can't go wrong with either one.
You can't go wrong with either one. I think, I mean, the one that you sent most recently, that's a flashy.
Okay, all right, yeah, yeah, let's go flash. Pineapple.
Great fruit. Pineapple.
That's why we had that next. Great fruit.
I think Ann makes... Why?

I just bonked you.

Explain.

Why?

Because you just were about to say it.

Say what?

I was going to say pineapple.

It makes you big and strong.

Yeah.

Pineapple.

And the vitamin C protects your immune system.

It's a great house.

What was the bonk for?

I'm confused.

I was going to say, the only thing about pineapple is it makes you want to eat more pineapple

because that's how good pineapple is.

Yeah, it makes stuff taste good.

What?

Like smoothies.

And?

Like candies.

And?

This is good.

You're helping our pick.

And?

What else?

Gametes.

Oh, what kind of gametes?

The male kind. Huh.
Oh, sperm. You oh sperm you said it well no you said male you know gametes yeah have you what does it taste like yeah what does it taste like how do you know pineapple juice is delicious delicious delicious yeahapple is a tier one fruit.
It can be garnished too. Oh, yeah.
Delicious. We had that if you didn't take it.
Yeah. Pineapple skewers on the barbecue.
So good. A little sour though.
It can be a little, you know. You know what I like? I don't know what pineapples you're eating, brother.
When they wheel out the whole hog that's being barbecued. Yep.
And it's got pineapples on it. Pineapple on pizza.
Delicious. I will say sometimes pineapples.
I love pineapples with pizza. Pineapple bacon.
No, this is because you have mouth herpes, what you're about to say. No.
Yeah. You feel like you have canker sores.
You have mouth herpes. No, sometimes you take it.
It can have a weird texture, but I'm a huge pineapple fan, so I'm not going to knock it. I just don't know if it was worth that.
I have a pick. You just said you're going to take it.
We are going to go with orange. Good choice.
That was what we were deciding between. The most refreshing, not great flavor, and it's very versatile.
And similar to watermelon, probably the second best fruit flavor. Obviously, drinks, it's just orange goes with everything.
Orange soda, orange soda orange gatorade oranges are probably also the number one nostalgia fruit because you you know eat it you know when you're playing like soccer or whatever as a kid oh yeah good for halftime yeah yeah only downside to the orange well no i'm i'm not going to talk shit about another man's pick i thought that was a good picking thank you what would you have said if we had picked orange if If you brush your teeth, you can't be anywhere near an orange. Oh, yeah, gross.
Like, really. And I brush my teeth a lot because I have good dental hygiene.
Hank with his canker sores might not. I'd say that goes for pretty much anything.
But if you do brush your teeth, then it's pretty tough. What can you do right after you brush your teeth? A lot of things.
Everything. Go ahead, Billy.
I have a question for the group. I would like, I don't know how we could do this blindly.
Maybe everyone close their eyes and put up a one for pulp and a two for no pulp. Batgirl, you watch everyone's.
I just want to see because I think this is a one for pulp, two for two for not pulp we'll say it out loud obviously are your eyes shut everyone close your eyes put up your pick and then back girl say everyone's pick around the around the room what's the choice again one is is pulp two is no pulp someone's very indecisive oh okay it's me I'm being I like I like no no no I like a little pulp go a little bit of pulp go one is the winner all across oh no Billy and Hank very close Billy and Hank are pussies they want no pulp I like a little bit of pulp I love pulp you need a little pulp I don't like the pulp at the bottom of the box no you can't go Max pulp is, you got to have a little pulp, so you know it's a real world I don't know why I feel this way, but I feel like it is I feel like once I hit puberty. I started liking pulp I don't feel like a maturity thing or not.
Yeah You started noticing pulp. I just feel like as I got older and more mature I was fine with pull you started to get pulled I feel like that you never had pulp before.
Oh my god. Okay, Jake.

It's one of the most off-the-rail shows.

It's very fun. I'm having a lot

of fun. I am a firm believer

you gotta have a little pulp. Again,

Max Pulp is crazy. You gotta have a little

pulp. Orange juice is weird when it's

totally smooth. Yes.

It's creepy. It's kind of like pubes in that way.

It's like, gotta have a little landing strip

in your orange juice. Gotta have some pulp.

Not me. Okay.

Now you, Billy, I feel like you would

Thank you. It's creepy.
It's kind of like pubes in that way. It's like, I got to have a little landing strip in your orange juice.
Got to have some pulp. Not me.
Okay. Now you, Billy, I feel like you would appreciate the pulp.
You'd be man enough to have the pulp. No.
If I'm drinking a liquid, I want liquid. Got it.
What about mimosa? I'm kind of like team no pulp if it's a mimosa. Well, yeah, that's different.
That's a different drink altogether. Yeah.
Okay. Go ahead.
Our pick is grapes. Grapes.
Deadly. Used to make wine.
Kills dogs. Used to make wine.
Kills dogs. Deadly.
If you have a dog and you have a dog in your house, you have a weapon. Same thing with raisins, which are just dried up grapes.
Wine. Raisins, another benefit.
I do like grapes a lot, but I did not put them on my list because I knew that was going to come up. Vineyards.
Dog killers. Our other pick? Green or purple, Billy.
Oh! I feel like this has a correct answer, too. Cotton candy is delicious, but obviously you can't eat them exclusively because you get sick of them.
This might be a great test of of a person green or purple i actually hate fruit i i literally hate all fruit okay hank you green or purple purple all day all green yeah i'm green really i'm green okay i mean that girl split it split. What do you got, purple or green? Green all day.
Oh, okay. All right.
Our third pick. Billy's just like, this Mount Rushmore bores me.
You know what blows my mind about grapes is that we've all agreed what the flavor of grape is, if it's in a candy or if it's in a soda, and it tastes nothing like what a grape is. Yeah.
It's just the color. Correct.
Like the purple grape yeah it's purple you know that banana flavor that is in all the candies that's from an extinct type of banana oh it seems like a pretty wasteful use of an extinct banana no but they like when they made the artificial flavor for banana it's from that extinct flavor of banana so that's why it tastes different than real banana also were were any of you as kids just you heard that one person told you that the spiders and the grapes and then you were scared forever? No? Was that just me? I just heard that I eat spiders when I sleep. Yeah.
That was in like one of my agendas. There was something about spiders and grapes.
Spiders and peanut butter. Really? I heard spiders and grapes.
I feel like that's just, everyone just learns about spiders in something, and then it just kind of traumatizes you. I haven't had a grape since 1992.
Our next pick will be something that probably has the most variety of any fruit in the world, and it's apples. It's bold claim.
It's a solid fruit. There's red, there's green, there's yellow, there's mixes.
There's got to be like an apple scorigami out there. You would be a teacher pet with apples.
You definitely gave your teachers apples. Never in my life.
I swear. You had a nice shiny one.
You gave it to your teacher. I don't mind the pick.
I feel like it's a good value pick at this point. Third round.
An apple is a staple. It's probably the most common fruit to have in houses.
I just don't know if I'm... I've never really craved an apple, but it is a staple.
Slice apples so much easier. Yeah.
Yeah. No mess.
Okay. Yeah.
Okay. You you guys are i feel unbelievable but our draft uh you know this was a risk well you missed pineapple it's well no i didn't get it but we got oranges which is actually probably the superior pick because you were you guys were debating and you probably when he said you like you guys wanted to take orange no we actually both wanted to say pineapple um i like the preamble to this pick, but we could move it along a little bit.
That'd be great. Cantaloupe.
Oh. Ew.
That was your pick? Cantaloupe is fantastic. I would have put it at the top again.
You just took a victory lap before he selected cantaloupe. Yes, that's a genius draft pick.
All my cantaloupes will know what it's all about. Could have been at the top of my draft board for my personal favorite fruits to eat.
It's delicious. It's succulent.
Is it? And it's just, yeah, it's all about could have been at the top of my draft board for my personal favorite uh fruits to eat it's delicious it's succulent is it and it's just yeah it's juicy yummy refreshing cantaloupe okay but if you're going to eat a cantaloupe there's a reason why they serve it to you in like the thinnest slice possible and you only eat it like once every year probably no i mean my how often do you eat my dad's a big cantaloupe guy so we had there's always there's cantaloupe in the fridge a decent amount and i would eat them i think that's an insane pick but that's fine yeah i mean it's it's it didn't make my board i like i i wouldn't turn down cantaloupe but isn't like it's a pretty negative fruit also is it what's up bill you don't even fucking eat fruit tell again, Hank. Green or purple, I don't like fruit.
Wait, wait, wait. I have a question.
Is honeydew melon? That's just better cantaloupe, right? Is melon? It's different. It's like the green one.
Yeah, that's better, right? He's got a better name. I don't think so.
Yeah, I like that. Cantaloupe helps you grow.
Is that a fact? Yeah, from memes. Just text me that.
Oh, he's listening and trying to. Was cantaloupe memes pick? No, I said I'm thinking cantaloupe as well.
Wow. Interesting.
I was thinking cantaloupe. Yeah.
All right. So, PFT, we have two picks here.
These are big two picks. I just texted you three things.
Cantaloupe is a sweet melon. Oh, okay.
Suck it. Okay.
What do you think i do like your the first one that you sent over um well there's we have three pit we have two picks and three fruits that are all dynamite fruits like knock your socks off fruits okay so i i love the first one i love the last one too i know i love the second one so well i one. Well, I know.
The second one, it's a risk.

It's a risk. All right.

How long are you going to do this for?

Okay.

All right.

All right.

Our next pick.

Our next pick.

Our next pick.

Our next pick is blueberries.

Blueberries.

Easy pick.

Blueberries are delicious.

No one doesn't like blueberries.

Rich in antioxidant.

Mm-hmm.

The best in a pie.

Yes.

Blueberry pie.

Nothing like it.

Pie.

Muffins.

Oh, yeah.

I forgot about muffins. Put a little on your cereal delicious delicious blueberry pie delicious okay so pft go ahead i i'm here i know no no no before you say anything i just want to say to you i support you 100 okay this is my favorite fruit maybe in the world nectarines nectararines.
Nectarines are delicious. Go off.
It's basically an orange. Go off.
You don't know what a nectarine is, bro. The nectarine.
No, maybe not. If you had said basically a peach, you would have been right.
It's the same species. Yeah, yeah.
But it's also got some peach elements to it. Yeah.
It's a different fruit. Yeah.
If I'm doing just a pure draft, if I have a big board and I'm not drafting by need, I'm just saying best player available, number one to me is nectarine. I think it's the best fruit in the entire world.
I had a nectarine last weekend. I came my pants.
Delicious. I came.
I'm not ashamed to admit it. I saw it.
All right. Well, with our last pick, we got my favorite fruit in the world.
Great pick, PFT. Thanks, Big Cat.
Peach. Okay.
It's like a JV nectarine. It's a good pick.
If nectarines are better, why do peaches sell more? Because they're more exclusive. Why do more people watch the Big Bang Theory than Arrested Development? Good question.
Because one's on TV and one's not. Hank, you know.
They were both on TV. Hitler had millions of followers.
Jesus only had 12. That's true.
I'm sorry to interrupt. What? Say it.
Say it. Billy just said, just trust me.
I love it. Buckle up.
He's going full sense. All right.
Yeah. No, peaches are fine, but nectarines are better.
Yeah. You forgot about blueberries.
I'm a big blueberry guy. You sure about that? Yeah.
Listen, cantaloupes. I would rent cantaloupes if it was my personal my horse

more they're at the top wow okay billy this is the full send billy i'm so i'm so excited this look you guys are gonna hear it and you're gonna be like whoa but will we know what it is yes okay that's a good start corn Corn. Oh, God.
Corn is a fruit. Can you guys video that? Is it? I'll let Billy say whatever he wants to say.
No. That's going on the graphic.
I think it's not a vegetable. Corn is a fruit.
Is it a vegetable? If you look it up, corn is a fruit. It has fruit qualities.
Wait, that doesn't mean it's a fruit. No, it has.
Qualities of a fruit. It's fruit curious.
No, it has. So the kernels, corn, are fruit.
Isn't it grain? The first question is. It's got to be a grain.
So the first question on Google is, why is corn not a fruit? An ear of corn is not technically a fruit. Instead, each kernel is a fruit.
Exactly. But that's not...
So you're taking one kernel, one single kernel of corn. It's like a single hornet.
You're taking one single plant. So are you taking one strawberry? One new school part of the strawberry? No, we're taking a strawberry.
Remember, you're taking a corn. But you only eat kernels of corn when you eat corn.
No, if we put this all out in the kitchen and we said, here's everything, you get one cantaloupe, you get one blueberry, you get one strawberry, you get one nectarine, and you get one kernel of corn. There's kernels of corn that are bigger than one blueberry.
Okay, that's fine. But you still, like, blueberry has a lot of taste in it.
Corn does not have it. Corn is very sweet.
They're a great band. Butter.
I love corn. Corn, I love fruit.
I don't love single kernels. Alright, so you guys vetoed it, so we're going with it.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. He gets a single kernel of corn.
Look, I know you might be out there, and you might be like me, and not really like fruit, but love corn, and you're gonna vote for Team Jilly because of corn. And there's some of you who might just love corn in general.
Who are you talking to? I'm talking to the corn lovers of America who are going to vote for us. And bring Team Jilly to our first W this season because of corn.
No, we haven't lost every time. Oh.
But corn will bring us there. Trust in corn.
Okay, so a single kernel of corn is going on the Mount Rushmore. No, no, corn.
It's just corn. No, corn is what I just said.
You're scared of corn. No, no, no.
You are scared of corn. Corn is actually a vegetable.
That's what it says. And then a single kernel of corn is a fruit.
That's like saying the stalk of a strawberry is a vegetable.

No.

The part you eat.

We said you get the strawberry.

No, no, no.

But when...

No, the corn is a vegetable.

No, no.

Corn is a fruit.

Corn is a fruit.

Great pick.

Corn.

Great pick, Billy.

I think it's a good pick.

On the graphic, four letters.

C-O-R-N.

K-O backwards R-N.

Yeah.

We'll do that too If you put corn in the band on there, you might actually get more votes Yeah, I'm down with that Corn If you ask someone, can you pick up some fruits at the grocery store You think anyone comes back with corn? In Billy's defense, sweet corn is really good I know it is You're scared of corn Corn is one of my favorite foods of all time. I'm not saying corn is not good.
It's not fruit. No, I know.
You're scared of corn on there because corn might win. I'm shaking him.
Bill Murray gif. Okay.
Why did we have that big knockdown drag out earlier about tomatoes? If you guys didn't even pick them. Well, I was.
And you were going to pick pick corn instead yeah oh you were afraid that the bullshit vegetable rule would apply to corn ah that's why you're protecting future picks okay we missed a lot the one we were deciding between uh pear got missed pear's delicious i like pear the only reason i didn't pick it besides the fact that yeah is uh Yeah Pears Pears can sometimes get mealy Yeah They can be a little bit mealy That's true

Blue The only reason I didn't pick it besides the fact I love nectarines is pears can sometimes get mealy. They can be a little bit mealy.
That's true. Blueberry, I think, is more consistent than pear.
I was going to pick before I did peach to kind of trolley. We were going to go with cherry.
Cherry's a good pick. I like cherries.
Raspberries are good. Raspberries.
Blueberries are good. Avocado.
We didn't pick limes. Limes.
I didn't know if we were going to open the door to a play on word for fruits,

like fruit snacks, fruit by the foot.

Me just wanted to do the Catholic Church for our last pick.

Blue raspberry.

Fruity pebbles.

Yeah, blue raspberry, white cherry.

Things that don't actually exist.

But are delicious.

We know what they taste like.

Yeah, we know exactly what they taste like.

Mystery flavor.

Ices.

I'm trying to think what other fruits did we forget.

Fruit punch.

Fruit de mar.

Let's see.

Fruit de mar.

Wait, what else?

Mangoes.

Oh, mangoes.

Great one.

Clementines.

Yeah, I love clementines.

Clementines are better than oranges, I think.

This is easier.

Good point, Jake.

Clementines are better than oranges.

They're easier.

I think tangerines are better, too. Plums.
Dragon fruit. Plums are good.
Dragon fruit. Star fruit.
Passion fruit. Guava.
You just keep naming fruits. I'm just naming high noons.
Yeah. Papaya.
Lemon. Yeah, lemon.
Lemon. Grapefruit.
Trash. Thank you.
I'm not a big grapefruit guy. Coconuts? Are those fruits? I think so.
Yeah. Aren't they? What are you going to say, fruit expert? I think they're seeds, so that doesn't make them a fruit.
But you know what? They are fruits. They are, but they aren't.
I think they're seeds. Fruit flavor.
So a nut. Yeah, they're a nut.
Apricots. Again, a far distant second to the mighty nectarine.
We cover the good ones. I actually think blackberries might be the big.
I like blackberries a lot. Blackberries are very good.
Pears are also very good. All right, anything else? That was a good Mount Rushmore.
Very good. I feel good about this show overall.
I feel like Billy and Jake are going to get their first win. Do you think so with corn? Corn.
I forget how many corn listeners we have. If corn is four letters, C-O-R-N on the graphic, I think we're going to go.
All right, so then we have to have it be that. Yep, that's fine.
What are you going to put on there? How much corn are you going to eat if you lose? We, I mean, look. Big corn is going to pull us through.
They're out there. Okay.
Ethanol. Exactly.
Get the oil lobby to weigh in on this one, Billy. If you lose, I want to see you eat five pounds of corn.
No. Five pounds of corn.
I want to see five pounds of corn. What happens if we win? How much corn will you eat? Yeah.
If you're going to put it up for him, you've got to be able to take the same risk. Well, I didn't say he's going to win.
He said he's going to win. I didn't say I'm going to win.
You scared of five pounds of corn? Do you guys want to see me fail another eating challenge or have another man? Yeah. that's the first one.
Sounds like Big Cat's scared of five pounds of corn. I think corn is...
I think you guys should nut up. Do you feel good about your draft? That was a perfect example of Billy just talking his way out of what seemed like a surefire win at the moment.
You're like, nobody out there wants to see me fail another eating challenge. They'll all vote for you.
All right, how about a pound of corn? I'm talking about, by the way, after like loose corn, not years. Yeah.
Yeah. Not years of corn.
A pound of corn. We'll go pound of corn.
Pound of corn. Is a pound of corn a lot? I don't know.
Yeah. A pound of corn.
A pound of corn. You can do it.
It's a pound. A pound of corn.
Easy do a pound of corn. How much is one cup of corn? Five cups of corn we have to eat.
No, do a pound. A pound.
Pound of corn. Pound of corn.
But is five cups more? You can do a pound. No, I know.
I'm saying it's five cups more than a pound. A pound is, I don't know.
What's more? A pound of corn? I'm saying if I'm comfortable with betting five cups of corn. What size cups?

Like measuring?

No, like the ones we ordered.

The corn.

I'm thinking of the corn that we get from.

Oh, the serving cups.

No, no, no.

Hank knows exactly what I'm talking about.

The street corn.

Street corn.

Oh, street corn is awesome.

What's that mixed with?

All kinds of shit.

We'll figure it out.

We'll figure it out.

Yeah.

Just make a thing.

Someone's eating corn.

Someone's eating corn.

Don't do it, yeah. Well, no, I want to eat a a lot of corn i don't know how much a pound of corn is i'll eat a pound of corn you know let's just enjoy corn new segment cornography all right pound of corn okay deal let's go you have to win i'm voting for oh so you're gonna move for over billy so are you going to tamper? Well, yeah tampering? I'm absolutely going to tamper.
And we're going to combine followers and not even still be close to you guys. So if they win, then that's on you guys.
Okay. Great.
No one's listening. You're close to a million, right? You're very close to a million.
Seven. A million what? Twitter followers.
Thank you, Jake. Yeah.
That was nice of you. Nice, Jake.
Seven. Where am I at? Let me see.
Big guy, you did like an ice cream party, right? I just ate a pint of ice cream. It was during COVID.
I'm going to lock my account. 973.3.
I'm going to lock my account when I get to 999. That would be metal.
Yeah. Fuck it.
I don't need to. Or it could be like that YouTube stream where we get really close and then people just dip on purpose.
Yeah. And then climb up.
Seven. Sounds like you want that, Jake.
All right, seven. No.
Seven. Thank you, Jake.
That was very nice of you. 69.
26. I'm going to go with 27.
Batgirl? 43. 43.
What was yours, Hank? Seven. I'm going to go with 22 for Juan Soto.
Every time we say Batgirl girl I keep thinking there might be a chance there's a girl in the corner. I look and it's Max.
270 pounds. One of the dumber things that you've ever said.
Why did he say his weight? He's also not 207 pounds. Say 70? What is that? 20.
20. Hank what'd you pick?? You just dox his weight, bro? Did you say that Max weighs 270 pounds? Yeah, you just dox his weight? That was fucked up, Billy.
Damn. Love you guys.
Oh, wait. Billy's upset that he can bench more than that.
There's a group of six lions killed. A group of six lions killed 40% of all lions in the region.

Google Mapogo lions.

It's a metal story.

Kane is in the building. Take me.
Take me.

Take me.

Take me.

Talking away.

I don't know what to say.

I'm saying it anyway. Today is another day to find you.
Take me home Take me home I'm here to go You're not too long Things that say isn't love Just play my worrying weight.

You're all the things I've got to remember.

Do you shy and away?

I'll be coming for you anyway.

Do you shy and away?

I'll be coming for you anyway.

Take on me.

Take on me.

I'm it. Come here when it lies.
Take on me. Take on me.
Take on me. Take on me.
Take on me. Take on me Take on me Take on me Take on me Take on me Take on me

Take on me

Take on me