Craig Kilborn, Football Is Back + Mt Rushmore Of Ways To Say Goodbye

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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have Craig Kilbourne on the show. He's got a new podcast out.
Great interview with him. We're going to talk a little training camp.
Football is back.

Speaker 1 We have the Mount Rushmore of Ways to Say Goodbye and Fire Fest of the Week.

Speaker 5 This is our last week week of vacation zoom shows we're back fully in studio next week um coming off of great takeys hey it's pft here reminding you that boars head makes game day entertaining elevated and effortless whether you order catering platters ahead from your local boars head retailer or you create your own spread at home with boars head premium deli meats and cheeses you are sure to impress your guests My favorites like oven gold turkey or blazing buffalo style chicken paired with their classic Vermont cheddar or creamy Munster cheese, are sure to score big and help me elevate my entertainment every time, whether it's for a tailgate or a home gating celebration.

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Speaker 5 And then I like to stop the weapon.

Speaker 5 No place behind a lot of washing.

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Speaker 1 Part of my take

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Speaker 1 Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by Sling. Go to Sling.com/slash Barstool to get your first month at Sling half off.

Speaker 1 Today is Friday, July 28th, 29th, 29th, and football is back. It's back.
Back, back, back, back, back, back.

Speaker 5 We've got the press conferences with the quarterbacks after their first day of practice where they're not saying anything. We've got the coaches saying everybody looks great.

Speaker 5 We've got fans everywhere except for an Ashburn, Virginia. It's a great time to be a football fan.

Speaker 1 It's the tweets of seven on seven and like, oh, that pass, you know, like Justin

Speaker 1 Fields' third pass was intercepted. It's like, oh, okay, well, defense looks good.

Speaker 2 You can just do that all

Speaker 1 August long. We are all the way back.
We had Russell Wilson with the biggest truck of all time. We had Aaron Rodgers cosplaying as a felon,

Speaker 1 which actually he doesn't really need to practice. He is a felon.

Speaker 1 And we, since we had the takies on Wednesday, we didn't get to discuss Kyler Murray's contract, which has everyone

Speaker 1 scratching their head.

Speaker 1 And Kyler Murray did an impromptu press conference today and was like, this is disrespectful, which I don't really understand his point of view in the fact that he signed the contract.

Speaker 1 Does he know what was in the contract? But either way,

Speaker 1 that saga is very fun to watch.

Speaker 5 I think it was more along the lines of he thinks it's disrespectful that somebody leaked the contract. I think that's what he's going to throw forward because you're correct.

Speaker 5 He did sign the contract that said that. And if it was so disrespectful, he probably wouldn't have signed the contract.

Speaker 5 But they're trying to figure out who released the contract because it doesn't make anybody look good.

Speaker 5 It doesn't make the Cardinals look good to be like, oh, yeah, we just guaranteed $166 million to a guy that we have to monitor to make sure he's doing his homework every night.

Speaker 5 And that, like, when you look at the contract and it says, oh, you can't be using a second screen while you're studying film. How are they going to monitor that?

Speaker 5 I think that they're just going to have to put a nanny cam in his house.

Speaker 5 I think they're going to have to put like a giant stuffed teddy bear on his sofa to make sure that when when he's watching film, that's all he's doing is watching film.

Speaker 5 And it doesn't, it doesn't sit well. Like if you're the Cardinals, like, why did you, sounds like they just, they had to pay him, but they didn't really want to pay him.

Speaker 5 If they're going to put in four hours, you know how I spend longer eating lunch cumulatively over the course of a week, four hours. Like four hours is such a small amount of film to watch.

Speaker 5 It's almost absurd. If they're going to ask you to watch film, they should have put like 10 hours, 12 hours of film.
Four hours is nothing.

Speaker 1 Well, it's independent film. So he's watching film at at the facility, you'd assume, with his teammates and coaches.

Speaker 1 I do think, though, it was the Cardinals that leaked it because, like you said, they had to sign him, but they also know that there's like some issues with his play falling off at the end of the year.

Speaker 1 And the two things I looked up, one was a story in the athletic where it quoted Kyler Murray from a couple of years ago when he said himself, this is Kyler Murray's quote.

Speaker 1 He said, I'm not one of those guys that's going to sit there and kill myself watching film.

Speaker 1 I don't sit there for 24 hours and break down this team or that team and watch every game because in my head, I see so much. So he's admitting that he's not

Speaker 1 a film rat. And then the other one, I don't know if you guys saw the study that was released where Kyler Murray, before Call of Duty is released in the fall,

Speaker 1 he averages 22.5 fantasy points per game. And after it's released every fall, he averages 17.4 fantasy points per game.

Speaker 1 And the new Call of Duty is supposed to come out at the end of October so it feels like the Cardinals were like hey this is actually the Call of Duty clause here that we just need you to keep studying when they release new maps

Speaker 5 yeah I saw that was awesome that was from Rose City Peach they put that study out and uh it does line up perfectly too with Cliff Kingsbury's stats do you think Cliff Kingsbury is also a big Call of Duty guy do you think Cliff Kingsbury got Kyler into it or do you think that they're just bad for each other where they just kind of they get sucked into their own little death spiral because they both love Call of Duty so much.

Speaker 1 I don't know, but all I know is that Kyler Murray, if he was offended by this, he shouldn't have had it in the contract. That's the part that still doesn't compute.

Speaker 1 I know that he's upset it got released, but I really do think the Cardinals are trying to cover their own ass because,

Speaker 1 like you said,

Speaker 1 they have to sign Kyler Murray. Kyler Murray has the potential to be a top five quarterback, but he's also had seasons where he's looked incredible and then he's faded down the stretch.

Speaker 1 So it's like one of those signings that they have to do it, but they also want to cover their own ass and be like, well, if it doesn't work out, here's probably why.

Speaker 1 Giving themselves an escape clause.

Speaker 5 You know what they should do? They should just let Kyler stream it on Twitch.

Speaker 5 It should be like a thing where, yeah, you can make content out of it. And the world wants to see you with an iPad in your hand.

Speaker 5 The world wants to see you like going through it, have the screen play the all-22 and then have Kyler break down what he's seeing.

Speaker 5 And then like a bunch of graphics pop up when people subscribe to him. That's really what he wants.
He wants the interaction.

Speaker 1 He He should just play Madden. He should play Madden against, like, they should, the team should have

Speaker 1 that week's opponent run exactly what they're going to run. And that could be film study.
Like, why not?

Speaker 5 But could you imagine the numbers that that would do on Twitch if it's Kyler actually doing film study?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Well, people would just be like F's in the chat the whole time.
But yeah, it would be great. But seriously, why wouldn't you just play Madden and be like, this is my film study?

Speaker 1 And just install the exact defense that you're running up against.

Speaker 1 Like, I'm sure Madden could, if you called up Madden, they would do that in a second, where it's like, have them run exactly the same schemes they ran last time they played him or this week, you know, like injuries updated, all those things updated.

Speaker 1 Maybe even have like a professional Madden player running the defense against Kyler Murray and giving him different looks.

Speaker 5 All right. So I'm not a lawyer.
I have watched a lot of Franklin and Bash, so I know a little bit about what I'm talking about.

Speaker 5 In the contract, it certainly seems like they can void the entire thing if Kyler doesn't log four hours of film study. So at some point, like he's probably going to screw that up.

Speaker 5 Like four hours, that's a long commitment that they have to each other. When Kyler Murray screws that up, are they actually going to tear up the contract and be like, sorry, he didn't do his homework.

Speaker 5 So he's cut. He's fired.

Speaker 1 I mean, maybe not, I would assume not this year or next year or the year after, but like, could you imagine if the end of their contract, they're like, we don't want to pay him anymore.

Speaker 1 Let's just wait for, let's just, let's just call up Call of Duty and just be like, hey, can you guys, we'll pay you guys to drop a new map like every single Monday for like four consecutive weeks.

Speaker 1 And we'll just watch Kyler not be able to do his four hours of independent study.

Speaker 5 Yeah, there's a lot of room for exploitation here. Like, what if they, what if Warzone dropped a new map because like Kyle Shanahan was like, hey, I'll pay you $50 million to make a map

Speaker 5 that is just just like Glendale, Arizona. And then Kyler will be playing on that the entire time.
And then, boom, you get him fired.

Speaker 1 That'd be

Speaker 1 right before a big playoff game. Yeah.
It's, I mean, it does suck for Kyler because he's basically, but actually, no, fuck that. No, it doesn't.
He got $160 million guaranteed.

Speaker 1 And I keep going back to it. Like, there's no way that Patrick Mahomes or Tom Brady has a similar contract.
Like, they don't, they don't, there's no way that that is even a question.

Speaker 1 And I'm not saying that Kyler isn't preparing, but it clear, it's clear there's a question out there. And he had said it himself.
He's not like a 24-7 film guy.

Speaker 5 I'll just say that getting paid $166 million to watch four hours of football a week is my dream job. Yes.
Put that in every contract that I have. I would actually love that.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yes.
What were you going to say, Hank?

Speaker 7 I was just going to say this is the first year, you know, they're fully partnering with Twitch and Amazon. So like that, the Twitch stream would lend itself nicer to that.

Speaker 7 I'm sure the Amazon, Twitch people, and NFL would love that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 All right. What other, what other?

Speaker 7 I still don't think people are like, have really football's back and stuff, but like, Thursday Night Football is not on TV.

Speaker 7 I think I've said it before on the show, but like that's just something you've got to mentally get prepared for. Yeah, no, I'm not ready.

Speaker 7 People are going to be watching Thursday Night Football on Twitch. That's a little bit.

Speaker 1 It's a boomer take, Hank. Yeah.
I'm not ready for that.

Speaker 1 Other stories we had, Darren Brown.

Speaker 1 That's not a take, PFT.

Speaker 7 That's just, I just stated a fact.

Speaker 5 Yeah, no, it sounds like you're not mad about it.

Speaker 1 It's a good heads up. I'm not mad.

Speaker 7 It's just like a, yeah, it's just a, it's just like a, just so you guys know.

Speaker 1 It's a good heads up.

Speaker 8 It's like, it's going to be a significant delay, too, probably.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like saying the SEC on CBS is going away soon. Get ready for that because you're not going to be able to hear that song, and that's going to suck.
I like the heads up, Hank.

Speaker 1 People are going to be mad. People are going to be very mad the first Thursday night.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, other things. I think we're still at week one on NBC.

Speaker 1 Okay, so then we'll wait for week two to be mad.

Speaker 5 There's also Russell Wilson dropping a little algebra on us today. He said that if somebody tells me to do something, I just do three times what they asked me to do.
And that's his secret to success.

Speaker 5 So the sauce has been spilled by him. Yeah, Triple X.

Speaker 5 Mr. Triple X is Russell Wilson.
He's not 10X.

Speaker 5 Yeah. He's not 10X.
He's way worse than 10X. He's actually,

Speaker 5 he's supposed to be Mr. Unlimited.
So three times is actually underperforming what he's already advertised to be.

Speaker 5 So when you say, like, oh, Russell Wilson, you have zero MVP votes, he's like, oh, I actually have three times as many as zero MVP votes. That's correct.

Speaker 1 And he is just, Russell Wilson is just becoming more and more of a robot every day. The fact that he, like, he actually is, you know, when people say, like, I'll give 110%,

Speaker 1 he truly believes that there is something more than 100%.

Speaker 1 Like, in his heart of hearts, he's like, I will do, I will do 300%.

Speaker 1 And you'll see me do 300%. It's like, well, that's not possible.
Like your max effort is 100%. No, it's like, no, no, no.
300% is what Russell Wilson will give you.

Speaker 5 You can always dig deeper. Him and Jim Harbaugh are the only two guys that know where to find 110% milk on Earth.
And that's what they drink.

Speaker 1 Jim Harbaugh, I mean, chestnut checkers. He's going to be like the NIL recruiting era is going to be very competitive.

Speaker 1 And he's essentially just opened the doors being like, I will take any babies that my team produces.

Speaker 1 and guess what it's a lot easier to recruit your adopted sons than it is some random kid that you have no connection with uh who you're trying to get you know like a t-shirt deal to come to michigan so i he's that's chest not checkers to me like he's building he's building a super team for 20 years from now It's actually double chest because not only is he doing that, and you're definitely right about that, but he's also saying, like, I'm going to recruit younger than anyone else in America.

Speaker 5 I'm recruiting negative eight-month-old babies that are not yet fully developed clumps of cells. And I'm putting an offer out to them.
Come join us in life.

Speaker 1 I'm giving you your first offer letter when you're one week old. Yeah.
Embryos

Speaker 1 are getting an offer letter to Michigan.

Speaker 5 A scholarship? No, a scholarship to the world from Jim Harbaugh.

Speaker 1 That's what he's doing. Yes, he's giving that full ride to the world.
I just... I hope it ends up with Jim Harbaught having like 20 children because I think that's probably what's going to happen.

Speaker 1 And I think he if there's one person who can who can be the father of that many kids I think Jim Harbaugh is like definitely up there with people who will who who have the capability of just being a father figure to that many people like just yeah filling all of them up with milk tossing balls in the backyard teaching them about competition and and the human body craves contact.

Speaker 1 And next thing you know, Jim Harbaugh is like, yeah, here are my 35 sons.

Speaker 5 If Jim Harbaugh was everybody's dad, I think the world would have a lot fewer problems than it has right now.

Speaker 5 In fact, if he was God, he would be like the Old Testament God, except more focused on sports.

Speaker 5 But yeah, he's a listen, Jim Harbaugh is absolutely like, he's a master of saying something to get attention without meaning to get attention, which I love.

Speaker 5 There are some coaches that are like, okay, I'm going to make some waves with this. Harbaugh just goes out there and he just brain dumps on everybody.

Speaker 5 And everyone's like, oh, yeah, Harbaugh, he's a character. I remember him.

Speaker 5 He's a one-of-a-kind guy.

Speaker 1 I love having him around. He also,

Speaker 1 I would love to have someone talk to his wife and be like, did you sign up for this?

Speaker 1 Because that felt like a Harbaugh was just writing a check, a future Harbaugh check, where it's like, wait, how many, like, what's the amount of kids that he could adopt in one year?

Speaker 1 Do you think that his household can handle?

Speaker 5 He's going to have a farm system.

Speaker 5 He's going to have a farm system where he gives them out to like Tom Creen has to raise a couple of them, probably.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we might have to take a couple. I'm fine with that.
I will.

Speaker 5 I will take one excommunicated Jim Harbaugh son.

Speaker 1 Yes. What else do we have, football? Billy, you have your hand up.

Speaker 5 A.J. Dillon was at a Manchester United game and jumped out of the crowd, being ushered by security to hype up the crowd during a rain delay.

Speaker 5 And then a cop just shoved the shit out of him for just out of nowhere, no reason. And no one really figured it out.
But that went pretty viral this week.

Speaker 5 Did he run through the contact? He went down?

Speaker 5 I mean, A.J. Dillon is a

Speaker 5 rock of a human being for just like to get a shove like that. That must have been like a huge.
I also want to try to do a Lamboo Lee. It might have been that same game, the

Speaker 5 EPL game or whatever that was played at Lambeau Field. They had a real streaker, which I appreciate.
It was a streaker like balls out and everything.

Speaker 5 So you shouldn't be allowed to be called a streaker unless you're fully committed and you go totally nude on it.

Speaker 5 So I want to just tip my hat to that individual and say thank you for actually appreciating, respecting the art of streaking and not just running out there in a t-shirt and having Al Michaels be like, and we're not going to show you the streaker on the field because I think that's bullshit.

Speaker 1 Agreed. Agreed.

Speaker 1 The protesters should not get streaker status. Streaker is something completely different.
Where if you get flopped, I got to see pubes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and you let your little dick like flop around out there in the middle of the field.

Speaker 1 Because let's be honest, even if you have a huge dick, if you're in the middle of a football field, it's going to look small. So that takes some balls.
And you shouldn't have to do that. Yeah, true.

Speaker 5 Like our our good friend Kyle Long said, it's like hanging the Mona Lisa on the Hoover Dam. So it's always going to look small, even if it's really nice.

Speaker 5 For me, it's like, I'm like the other proportion. So I say it's like putting a postage stamp on a G.I.
Joe, which is nice, but it's still not impressive. I don't care who you are.

Speaker 5 If you're in public, if more than three people are seeing your penis, it's probably 30% smaller than it normally is at most.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 Okay, anything else from training camp? It just, it did feel good having training camp, like guys show up. We saw Aaron Rodgers drop what I assume was a bomb off at Packers training camp.

Speaker 1 I don't know what I reported it to the FBI. We'll see what happens there.

Speaker 1 It was good, though, just like seeing NFL writers on Twitter tweeting about scrimmages and, you know, pictures of football happening.

Speaker 1 It's the first moment where you're like, oh, yeah, we're about to have the best stretch of the year. It's about to be fall.
It's about to be football. Something beautiful about that.

Speaker 5 There was an injury. You always hate to see it.
Ryan Jensen had, I think, think, a left leg injury on the first day of practice or one of the first days.

Speaker 5 I don't know why coaches make players do anything even close to full speed or full contact until maybe the last two weeks of August.

Speaker 5 If a guy like Ryan Jensen has to be running around or anything, I feel like that's just, it's a rest before disaster.

Speaker 1 But they don't, they, they, I'm pretty sure the new rules are you can't even do, they can't put on the pads for like at least a few days.

Speaker 1 So that might have just been a non-contact, like unfortunate thing.

Speaker 5 Well, they didn't report anything about the players puking while they saw him. So it probably wasn't that bad.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. So he's probably going to be fine, just fine.
And Julio Jones is on the box. That was something I learned this morning.
I just missed, I missed the fact because we're on vacation.

Speaker 1 It's the last show that we're on vacation, but that was cool. I was like, oh, Julio Jones, box.
That's awesome.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I'm sure he'll be okay. I don't think that Julio's the Julio that we saw from a couple years ago.

Speaker 5 He stunk on the Titans last year, but as an idiot that just watches, like, I don't break down the all-22 like I used to, but I feel like, uh, I feel like he's gone downhill as a player.

Speaker 5 Like, he didn't look explosive last year at all.

Speaker 1 Well, the fact that he's 33 and he's like old, and at the end of his career, it's just very, it's like a bummer just to think about. Like, 33, and they're like, oh, he's so washed up.

Speaker 1 But yeah, ever since it was, it was the refs in that Seahawks game when they didn't count his foot in, which he clearly was in.

Speaker 1 From that moment on, he was a non-factor for the Titans.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 let's do Mount Rushmore. And then we have Craig Kilbourne.
And then, like I said, this is our last week of vacation. We'll be back in studio on Sunday.

Speaker 1 Takeies were incredible. I feel like that was our best takeies yet.
People were buzzing all day about it.

Speaker 1 Congrats to all the AWLs for winning seven in a row. Very, very well earned.

Speaker 1 All right, before we do our Mount Rushmore, Hank, you have an ad for us.

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Speaker 1 Okay, Mount Rushmore time. We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of Ways to Say Goodbye.

Speaker 1 PFT and I won the last Mount Rushmore. Credit to us.
I think we won it by like, it was a blowout. It was an absolute blowout.

Speaker 1 It was a bloodbath. It was a bloodbath.
So we'll go first. We'll have Team Hawk go second, and then we'll have Jake and Billy go third and then wrap around.

Speaker 1 Billy, before we start,

Speaker 1 any slurs you want to get out of the way before we get going? Maybe we could do it beforehand?

Speaker 9 Irish goodbye.

Speaker 1 Wait, well, that's that plays?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that does play. All right, well, let's just get it going.
That's our first pick. Irish goodbye is our first pick.

Speaker 1 There's no better goodbye than the Irish goodbye when you just are, you can just leave and you don't have to worry about saying goodbyes and you're just gone. And it's goodbye.

Speaker 1 And it's no see you later. It's no awkward like standing around, shaking

Speaker 1 you know, hugging, like, oh, we'll see you. Oh, yeah, let's meet up soon.
No, no, no. You're gone.
Deal with it in the morning the next day via text message like an adult.

Speaker 1 The Irish goodbye is one-one of goodbyes.

Speaker 5 I'm part Irish, so I can say it.

Speaker 1 Irish goodbye is an elite goodbye.

Speaker 1 Yep. Yep.
So we're good.

Speaker 7 All right. This is an interesting Mount Rush war, I would say.

Speaker 1 You were the one who co-signed it. No, yeah.

Speaker 7 Not in a bad way. It's just like I'm trying to figure out which way to go.

Speaker 1 You know, it's tough.

Speaker 1 By the way, before PFT, before you hopped on, we were talking about the Mount Rushmore.

Speaker 1 And when we were texting earlier today asking what we should do, and Billy was like Italian food, it's because Billy's actually in Italy right now.

Speaker 1 So that's, it's the most literal thing he was thinking about. Like he was probably.

Speaker 7 He was gave whatever he ate.

Speaker 1 Yeah, of course.

Speaker 5 I mean, Billy's been on a trip through, I think, every micro state in Europe right now. So he was in Liechtenstein earlier this week.
He was in Andorra. He goes to countries that

Speaker 5 nobody could possibly pick out on a map because he's paranoid of somebody finding him in these states. Like, wait, are you actually in Italy? Are you in San Marino or Vatican City? San Marino.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.
So you couldn't even, you can't even tell just a regular, you can't just tell a regular truth.

Speaker 1 You can't just be like, hey, I'm in San Marino. You had to tell us Italy for some stupid reason.

Speaker 7 Is that different? Are those different places?

Speaker 5 Yeah, it didn't dawn on me until you were explaining that he was that he was in italy and then i started saying it out loud and it's like wait that doesn't add up because he's he's been to all these weird countries and so billy gets caught in yet another lie reset the counter i think that i think billy's actually on a streak like a cow ripen jr type streak of telling the dumbest possible inconsequential lies on this podcast he's incapable of just telling the truth for like when the when the truth has no repercussions he still can't give us the truth they do eat italian food in san marino though right but i said where are you And you said Italy.

Speaker 1 Why didn't you just say San Marino?

Speaker 5 Because it's basically Italy. I don't recognize, I mean, microstates are such a big joke.
It's hilarious.

Speaker 1 Your brain is so, like, is so, I don't know what's wrong with it. San Marino

Speaker 5 is in Italy.

Speaker 1 Technically, it is in Italy.

Speaker 5 Inside of Italy. San Marino is technically surrounded by Italy.
So it's Italy.

Speaker 5 It's a tiny little country. But still, Billy, you cracked so easily under cross-examination there, it's disturbing.

Speaker 7 All right, we're going to go, we're going to go with,

Speaker 7 you know, you're at the bar, you're walking out, you don't even, you don't dap up. It's not like an Irish goodbye, but it's like you kind of see your friend.

Speaker 7 Maybe you're walking out, you know, with a friend or a colleague, whatever, maybe a girl, maybe a guy if you're a girl. And you just kind of give your friend a head bob, and that's it.

Speaker 7 Like it's not an Irish goodbye, but you don't have to go through the whole process of like dapping everyone up and hugging and stuff. You just kind of walk out.
You just, you kind of lock eyes.

Speaker 7 If they don't see you, they don't see you, but you just give them a quick head bob as you're walking out of the bar.

Speaker 5 Yeah. But it's the respect nod.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 If they don't see you, that's an Irish goodbye.

Speaker 7 But in this situation, they see you.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. See ya.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it's a head. Yeah.
I sometimes practice.

Speaker 7 That's the head nod. It's just the.

Speaker 5 Sometimes I'll do a northern Irish goodbye, I guess would be what you'd call it, where you like tell somebody, like a good friend that you're with, like, hey, I'm about to Irish goodbye the rest of this bar, but I'm letting you know on your way out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, just be like, if I, if I, if you don't see me, it's because I left. That's always a good, yeah, like, hey, I told one person, so that way someone can be like, hey, he's not dead.

Speaker 1 He actually let me know he was in Irish goodbye. Spread the word out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, good pick. Good pick, Hank.

Speaker 5 Hank took also an Irish goodbye with his pick.

Speaker 1 No, I took a picture.

Speaker 7 No, no, no.

Speaker 1 Pretty much.

Speaker 7 No, took a head nod. Head nod.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, yeah.
Head nod. No words exchanged.
Yeah, but sometimes they don't see it.

Speaker 7 It's acknowledged, but no, no, no, no. In this situation, you guys are making up fake situations.

Speaker 7 In the situation that I presented, it was acknowledged, which would be the opposite of an Irish Kubai where you don't acknowledge the person.

Speaker 1 Okay, but you said maybe they see it, maybe they don't. So I'm just talking directly from what you said to me.

Speaker 7 No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. Jake and Billy.

Speaker 5 Good pick, Hank. Thanks.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I know it was a great pick.

Speaker 1 We picked it 1-1.

Speaker 8 No. We are going to go with something.

Speaker 5 Jake, I think our ideas are a lot more coherent. So, whichever one is.

Speaker 7 That's usually the case, Billy.

Speaker 1 Jake.

Speaker 8 No, Billy, we're not going with any of yours. We're going to go with something that I'm not capable of doing, but I think a lot of people are, and that's a clean dap.

Speaker 1 What the heck?

Speaker 8 You always just Clean dap, me and Eric Musselman, the infamous one.

Speaker 1 Billy, the, the,

Speaker 1 the band that, like, goes down the gondola start. He's actually in Venice.
Fuck. He lied again.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 8 Yeah, so a clean zap is,

Speaker 8 I'd say, pretty common and popular way to say goodbye with someone. And when you really...
Make contact, middle of the palm, it feels good.

Speaker 1 Yep, it's clean.

Speaker 5 You walk out the door with a little pep in your step. Golfers are just utterly incapable of the clean dap at the end of a round.
It just, it never happens.

Speaker 5 If it's between golfers or if it's between a golfer and a caddy or two caddies, if you're wearing spikes on a green, you can't possibly connect with a handshake.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but it does. When you get it, and it feels it, and you feel it, there's no better feeling.

Speaker 1 Good pick. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 8 Thank you. And then our next one, we're going to go with something that definitely moves the needle when a person of significance does it, and it's a retirement speech.
You're standing at the podium,

Speaker 8 there's tears flowing, and you never know which way the emotions are going to go.

Speaker 5 Right, Jake, would you say that's a good way to say goodbye to retire and bid everybody adieu and then get your ass kicked by UNC on senior night?

Speaker 8 I think that's one way to do it. Maybe have that ceremony beforehand just in case things go wrong.
But I'm just speaking.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 okay okay good pick um hank your team's up next thank you

Speaker 7 saying i mean this is where i get i am a little bit i i get a little bit confused um

Speaker 7 you you co-signed this one you thumbs up no i know i just i it's a team game it's like a team game like i but i actually like this pick i like this pick by memes winning a national championship is a senior

Speaker 1 good one

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, that's a great way. That's a good goodbye.

Speaker 7 It's a good way to say goodbye.

Speaker 1 Good pick, yes.

Speaker 1 That's a great way to say goodbye.

Speaker 7 I'll get weird with my

Speaker 7 last two.

Speaker 1 PFT, what should we do? I think we should start getting weird, too.

Speaker 5 We have a couple. I think the second one that we have on our list is a way to go.

Speaker 1 You sure about that? Okay.

Speaker 1 Yes. It's clean.
It's elegant. Yeah, you go with it.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 It's see ya. Just good see ya.
See you is an elite way to say goodbye. I say it on the phone.
I say it in person. It's probably my number one most used goodbye.
Just see you. Not even see you later.

Speaker 5 Just see it.

Speaker 1 Hey, see ya. Yep.
Yeah. It's just like, all right, see ya.
Because you don't, you don't have to, the word goodbye is always awkward. Like, goodbye.
No, it's just see ya. Maybe

Speaker 1 see you again.

Speaker 5 Yeah, see ya. See you again.
It hit different when you said it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. See ya.
I'll see you.

Speaker 5 That's so good. Yeah.

Speaker 8 Michael K. Signature call for the Yankees.

Speaker 1 All right, see you. See ya.

Speaker 1 See ya. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. Good pick by us.

Speaker 1 Hank, you want to say that? No. No.
No.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.
Our next one is going to be, it's going to be no goodbye. No see you later.
Just going to see about a girl.

Speaker 7 Ah, John. So like, kind of like

Speaker 7 an Irish exit?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Thank you.
Thank you, Billy.

Speaker 1 Thank you, Billy. That's a good thing.
Billy knows. This no goodbye, no see you later, just going to see about a girl.

Speaker 1 Your friend just walks up to pick you up for the construction job, and you're just not there. Hank, are you? You're driving.
Are you from

Speaker 1 one day?

Speaker 5 We hope that happens.

Speaker 1 Hank, are you from Boston?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 No, I'm actually from Boston. How do you not get that reference?

Speaker 7 I do.

Speaker 1 I was a pilly. He's just hater.

Speaker 7 He's being in hater mode. My favorite movie.

Speaker 1 And he's being in hater mode because he didn't think of it.

Speaker 7 Fine. All right.
But listen, we're going to.

Speaker 1 That's a great goodbye. That is a great goodbye.

Speaker 7 That is a great goodbye. That's a great movie.
I'm not going to hate on it. One day I hope I walk up and you're not there anymore.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And there's no way that Matt Damon made it across the country in that shitbox of a car.
Yeah. No.

Speaker 7 Imagine she was. No way.
Imagine if she she just showed up and she had a boyfriend. She's like, oh, I didn't think you were actually going to come.

Speaker 1 No, they leave, and then

Speaker 5 she kills him. She murders him on their trip across the country.
She's a psycho the entire time.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. Yeah.
All right. That's our pick.

Speaker 7 All right. We're going to go with driving off into the sunset while you split at the fork in the road while Charlie Pooth plays see you again.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 5 We actually had that on our list.

Speaker 1 That's a good pick. Yep.

Speaker 5 Thank you. Good pick, memes.

Speaker 1 Good pick memes

Speaker 1 great pick memes

Speaker 1 all right jake and billy um so similar to hanks we had winning a super bowl billy you're cutting out we're gonna go with we're gonna go with wait wait what

Speaker 1 uh this is a bad bit it's winning a super bowl i can't hear you you just picked the first two

Speaker 5 winning a super bowl

Speaker 1 winning a super bro you're frozen winning a super bowl

Speaker 5 winning a super bowl i'm not frozen peyton manning peyton manning ray lewis winning a super bowl is the best way to go out and say goodbye.

Speaker 5 All right, hopefully, we can get Billy back on the show because I'm sure you've got some fire picks.

Speaker 1 Jake, what's your jay? I guess.

Speaker 5 Are you really guys?

Speaker 5 We're going are you guys really locking out to go with I love you?

Speaker 1 That is

Speaker 1 a good one. Oh, that's a great pick.

Speaker 7 That's a good pick.

Speaker 1 When Billy comes back, I'm frozen. He's going to like that.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. That's a good pick.

Speaker 7 I think he's back.

Speaker 1 Do we get another pick now? Are you back, Billy?

Speaker 5 Do we get another pick now?

Speaker 1 Yeah, but Jake just picked I love you.

Speaker 5 So we'll just do winning a Super Bowl and I love you. Perfect.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 You don't think winning a Super Bowl? Is he frozen again?

Speaker 1 Yeah, Billy. Yeah, I think it's frozen again.

Speaker 5 Must be that shady San Marina internet they always talk about. The internet is cleaner than all of yours.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, he's frozen. All right, Jake, what's your pick?

Speaker 8 We're going to go with posting a notes app on social media to announce a career change.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're thanking everybody involved. That's a good pick.

Speaker 8 You're thanking all of your coworkers and we're just thanking all the fans. A lot of people, public figures, do this, right?

Speaker 8 They say goodbye via Notes app, and it usually puts their name in the trending column. So I think it moves the needle.

Speaker 1 I like that pick. I agree.

Speaker 7 I haven't made it that long.

Speaker 5 Our last pick, it's our pick, right?

Speaker 7 Yes. We're going to go with winning a Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 Fuck, I was about to take that. I've literally just had that.

Speaker 5 Yeah, we had that too.

Speaker 1 It's a great pick. I was going to say, like, John Elway.
Yeah. This one's for John.

Speaker 1 That was actually the first one they won, but the second one, yeah, walking off on the, you know, on the white horse. Yeah.
Peyton Manning

Speaker 1 Manning.

Speaker 5 Peyton Manning when he's like at midfield, he's like, I can't wait to drink an ice cold Coors Light. And then he makes out with Papa John.
Tears in my eyes. That's a great one.

Speaker 1 Great pick. Great pick.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 Okay. PFT, what do we want to do for our last pick?

Speaker 5 So we can go with

Speaker 5 the

Speaker 5 one with involving the water is a good one.

Speaker 1 I think that.

Speaker 1 Or the last one that you sent in your initial text,

Speaker 1 pretty good.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I like that one. Let's go with that one.

Speaker 1 Okay, go ahead. You do it.

Speaker 5 Saying the Lannisters send their regards.

Speaker 1 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 7 And then just kill everyone.

Speaker 7 That was my favorite part of season seven.

Speaker 1 Knife, knife, knife, knife, knife. You just knife everywhere.

Speaker 1 That is a crazy way. Crazy way to say goodbye.
It's a great goodbye. Slit.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 I've never killed anyone, but I imagine that if I did, I wouldn't have the cool

Speaker 5 steel mentality to say something witty and appropriate and like biting right before I did it. I would just panic and then try to do it and probably miss.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes, yes. It's just a great, a great way to say goodbye and then just kill everyone.

Speaker 1 All right. We had on our honorable mentions.
We didn't get to it, but we would have probably been clowned for it. But just giving a good old one love, one

Speaker 1 on your way out. I like to say it on the phone.

Speaker 7 I like to say,

Speaker 7 I like to say it kind of as a joke, but also I say it a lot.

Speaker 1 So it's like

Speaker 1 type of thing.

Speaker 5 Similarly, peace out, just peace.

Speaker 1 Yep. Peace out.

Speaker 5 It's good. Peace is good.

Speaker 5 I like peacing out on people. I don't like saying peace, but I do like peacing out.
Yeah, like I waving goodbye from the deck of a ship is good, too.

Speaker 7 I had don't do anything I wouldn't do, but like, that's so corny. But I also kind of like to say that sometimes, like, as a joke, but it's not as a joke because I say it so much.

Speaker 5 Here are some more cornier pics. Uh, see you later, alligator.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 in a wild crocodile, yeah, catch you on the flip side, you know.

Speaker 1 See you when I see you is a kind of a longer see ya, but you know, like, hey, I'll see you when I see you.

Speaker 5 What about smell you later?

Speaker 7 Or do I smell you?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 8 At one shining moment.

Speaker 1 Yep. One shining moment's a good goodbye.

Speaker 1 Cheerio.

Speaker 1 What about on the phone with Dave when he just like, okay, and then hangs up?

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Every conversation I've ever had with him in my entire life has always ended like that. All right.

Speaker 1 Hang up. It's actually nice, though, because you don't have to do like the long drawn out like, all right, see you later.
Goodbye. like, blah, blah, blah.
All right, boom.

Speaker 1 What about quitting?

Speaker 5 Just being like, I quit. And then leaving.
That's a pretty good one, too.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I mean, I had like the one I was kind of confused about, too, is like, I had like a kind of emotional one, but it's like if you're like saying goodbye to a loved one or like an animal or something, it's like doing something that you guys enjoy doing together one last time.

Speaker 5 Yeah. That's sad.
No, that's Mount Flushmore. For sure.

Speaker 5 I also had just in terms of animal goodbyes, like if you're leaving your dog with somebody for a long weekend and you're going on a trip and you walk away and you turn back and they're looking at you like, what are you doing to me?

Speaker 5 That's a terrible goodbye. I hate that goodbye.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, that's a bad goodbye.
That is definitely a bad goodbye. What about

Speaker 1 for good goodbyes, scoring 60 points? Because was it the Raptors just didn't want to play defense?

Speaker 1 Was it the Raptors? No.

Speaker 5 It was the Jazz. The Jazz just didn't want to play defense.

Speaker 1 That's a good goodbye.

Speaker 7 That game was fucking awesome.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was. That's what I'm saying.
It was an all-time goodbye. 60 points at home on your way out.
I mean, Jeter, too. His goodbye.

Speaker 1 Didn't he hit the walk-off single, like a blue single? Yeah. Wasn't that his goodbye?

Speaker 5 Retwo packed.

Speaker 1 What about? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 What about taking out a full-page ad?

Speaker 5 That's like the

Speaker 5 grandfather of the notes app goodbye. People used to just buy ads and newspapers to say thank you to a city.

Speaker 1 What about

Speaker 1 yeah, hug. What about a Mount Flushmore goodbye of I'm deleting my Twitter and then being like, I don't know, like, I think this place is toxic.

Speaker 1 I'm deleting it only to come back like two weeks, two weeks later, like a Chrissy Teigen. That's definitely a Mount Flushmore.

Speaker 7 I mean, Taylor Luon did that. We'll see how long he lasts.
I'm curious how long the over-under goes for that.

Speaker 1 That was also very funny. Shout out to the boys, but like right in Will's face.
Being like, hey, that podcast we co-host, I'm out for the next six months.

Speaker 5 There's so there are a lot of people on like political Twitter that are like, you know what, this website is polluting how I think.

Speaker 5 I need to sign off because it's making me too angry and my family hates me.

Speaker 5 And then, like, two hours later, they're quote tweeting a CNN article, being like, This is beyond the pale of democracy, sir. I can't believe this is happening.
I had to pop on to signal boost this.

Speaker 5 Okay, see you later.

Speaker 1 Gonna

Speaker 5 get some cigarettes and milk.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that would have been

Speaker 1 that would have been a good pick, Billy. That was a good pick.
I wish your internet was working earlier.

Speaker 5 I was silenced.

Speaker 5 Um, saying A2, Brutus, as you're bleeding out on the Roman steps,

Speaker 1 great one, Brute.

Speaker 5 Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry, I don't have the Sam Marina accent that you do, Billy.

Speaker 1 Sorry if I was silent, my internet cut out. That was why I was silent after the last thing you said, PFT.
Yeah, that wasn't intentional. That's okay.

Speaker 5 Everybody else laughed raucously, so it was good.

Speaker 1 Nice. Fuck yes.
Hell yes for the boys.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 2 That was pretty good about Rushmore, right?

Speaker 5 Yeah. Oh, what about a long kiss goodbye? That's a good one, too.
Just a big, big, big smooch.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Just a real sensual. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Tongues. Tongues deep in each other's throats.

Speaker 5 Tonsil hockey.

Speaker 1 Maybe a little bit.

Speaker 5 Yeah, sometimes you get a little too horny on the deep long kiss, and then you have to walk away with a semi. That's a little bit awkward.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Everyone's like, whoa, look at that guy.

Speaker 1 He's all chubbed up as he walks away.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that famous picture of uh, you know, like Victory in Europe Day when the when the sailors kiss him in the middle of Times Square.

Speaker 1 People don't realize that right after that, he just had a rock hard boner walking down the street. And I was like, dude, put your boner away.
You're on 40-second half.

Speaker 5 What are you doing? It wasn't even his girlfriend. And also, he didn't know that woman and just assaulted her, probably.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Times are different.

Speaker 5 It wasn't even his girlfriend.

Speaker 5 It was another, the dude in the background's girlfriend.

Speaker 1 That's tough. Oh, really? Yeah.

Speaker 5 There's the guy whose boyfriend, no, the guy whose girlfriend that is in the picture is behind them in the photo, walking towards them.

Speaker 1 Damn,

Speaker 5 imagine being that dude and like you're already mad because your girlfriend cheated on you and you're like, okay, we can work through this. It was just a kiss.

Speaker 5 You didn't know what was going to happen. Whatever.
Let's just try to forget it. And the next day, the cover of the New York Times is your girlfriend making out with that guy.

Speaker 1 And then like 40 years from then, it's like being sold as fine art at every Target in America. Actually, they might still be married.

Speaker 5 That poor bastard. Let me look it up.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 They're probably dead.

Speaker 5 My guess is they're dead.

Speaker 1 They're very much dead. I mean, don't have to be dead, but most likely dead.
If you're just

Speaker 1 playing the odds here, they'd both be probably 100, close to 100 years old.

Speaker 1 So, but who knows? All right, let's get to Craig Kilbourne and then we'll do Firefest on the other side.

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Speaker 1 okay we now welcome on a very special guest probably the classiest man we've ever had on the podcast it is sir craig kilbourne he is uh he has a new podcast out it's called craig kilburn the life gorgeous you can find it on youtube you can find it wherever you find podcasts uh he's joining us from his studio, which I actually, before, when we were texting Times, I asked him what time works for you.

Speaker 1 And I was like, how about 8 o'clock Eastern? He's like, 5 p.m. Pacific works, but my mahogany panel den gets really hot by 5, but I can handle it.
So this is a gritty showing by you.

Speaker 1 I just want to set the stage for the people.

Speaker 9 I'll be showering in a moment, but no, the sun hits it. It's a 1923 home.
I do like old homes.

Speaker 9 homes i like i like having martinis in historic locations historic restaurants and bars and it's so it's warm in here but not it's i have a i have a fan on right now and that's my conquistador lamp that i've had for years okay it's nice the uh the lighting that you have right now is exceptionally warm as well i it's warm and comforting yeah and i i want people to feel good about themselves yeah this is cozy what what is the classiest establishment you've ever had a martini in

Speaker 1 Great question.

Speaker 9 I'm only allowed three great questions. Let's see.

Speaker 9 There's a restaurant.

Speaker 9 There's a bar restaurant up in San Francisco. It's currently closed.
It's been closed a while, but it's at the Knob Hill in San Francisco. It's across from the Fairmount.

Speaker 9 It's called the Huntington Hotel. It's called the Big Four Restaurant and Bar.
It's paneled, and it's named after the four railroad barons, like Leland Stanford.

Speaker 9 And then they had Stanford University from him and everything.

Speaker 9 But it's historic, and they have a piano bar there and I like to have a one of those small martini glasses they're actually called nick and nora glasses they're smaller martini glasses and I like to wear a sport coat and go there

Speaker 1 big cat you have a sport coat you've had a drink before yeah I mean this is I I like to see like sitting in a room that's named after the the railroad tycoons that right there is class yeah yeah and I have to say your Instagram is phenomenal I've been following it for a few years now we'll get into everything else but like your Instagram, when you put out videos of you drinking martinis and walking on beaches and old cars, I feel classier just by watching that.

Speaker 9 Yeah, it's it's surprisingly, it's one of my favorite things I've done is my Instagram. I'm enjoying it.
And there's some,

Speaker 9 I'm not going to name drop, but there's some prominent comedians who... who I don't really know, but they follow it.
And my friends know them and they say, does he really wear ascots?

Speaker 9 Wait, when's he serious? And just to let you know, I've never worn an ascot outside of my house, but I do.

Speaker 9 I wear them around the house. It's just, I'm just goofing off, man.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's classy. So, all right.
So, the big question is, the podcast and the Instagram, you know, your career has been fascinating.

Speaker 1 You know, you were so incredible in the late 90s on Sports Center and then the late, late show. And then you kind of walked away from all of it for a while.
Why

Speaker 1 now are you coming back? Like, what is, what is the reason for you to be like, hey, you know what? I'm ready. The world is ready for more Craig Kilburn.

Speaker 9 Decent question.

Speaker 1 Okay, I like this. Great every question.
I like this.

Speaker 9 No, no, I was going to do a podcast 10 years ago, but I didn't want anyone to my house. So I waited.
And now after COVID, you can do a Zoom. And now you can do it.

Speaker 9 And I used to joke, I wanted to be the only man in America without a podcast. And now I'm the last guy in America with a podcast.
But I joined my Instagram mainly for my nieces because

Speaker 9 in case they wanted to think I was their uncle, was funny. But

Speaker 9 the Instagram is so positive. And by the way,

Speaker 9 Big Cat,

Speaker 9 you promoted me on Twitter. Yeah.
And I messaged you. I said, thanks.
And then you said, I grew up, I don't already said, grew up watching you.

Speaker 9 I'm a couple of years older than you. I'm not that much older than you.

Speaker 9 I just turned 40.

Speaker 9 But no,

Speaker 9 I think it's cool that you

Speaker 9 used to watch the Kilbourne shows. That's pretty cool.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I mean, I grew up, the feel-good edition of Sports

Speaker 5 was my favorite. I mean, I used to, I remember,

Speaker 5 you know, sometimes my dad and I would sit down, watch your shows, laugh at it. It was like a real bonding moment.

Speaker 5 It's one of the points where I truly began to love sports watching your commentary on it. So, yeah, I think Big Cat and I are both big fans.

Speaker 5 And then going to the daily show, like, I loved, I used to love watching you on

Speaker 5 ESPN first. That was my introduction.
Is there any guy on ESPN that you were exceptionally close with?

Speaker 9 Let's see. I was, we all got along.
I mean, it was a, it was a really fun time. It was funny because there was a producer there named Scott Ackerson, who later went to Fox NFL.

Speaker 9 And he produced the Terry Bradshaw, the pregame show on Fox, which was so funny. But Scott Ackerson had this great line.

Speaker 9 He used to work at local TV. And And he said to me, because I didn't think the people, we all got along at ESPN.
And there was some competition, but we all got along.

Speaker 9 And Scott Ackerson said, the biggest egos I ever saw were local TV.

Speaker 9 Because the local TV guys, they all want to do their, you know, resume tape and go to the big market. They want to go from Rockford to Chicago and they want to do, you know, and it was just funny.

Speaker 9 But let's see, who do I? I used to work with Carl Ravich and Brett Haber. I was very close with Dan, Dan and Keith.
And then everyone was nice. Berman.
Robin Roberts was really cool.

Speaker 9 And then some of the people that I didn't even work with,

Speaker 9 I just interviewed two people from ESPN. One, Ryan Rossillo, I know him pretty well.
And he's going to be, he might be my first guest on the podcast

Speaker 9 Thursday.

Speaker 5 He's going to tank your ratings.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Just a heads up.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's very... Did you research that? Yeah,

Speaker 5 he's poison. Yeah,

Speaker 1 you're probably, this podcast is doomed if Rosillo is your first one.

Speaker 5 He's going going to talk about Chris Paul for three hours.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow.

Speaker 9 We already recorded it and he went 245 on Chris Paul.

Speaker 1 He's a good friend of ours.

Speaker 1 He's great. Yeah,

Speaker 1 you got to go down to his house in Manhattan Beach. He'll wear the shortest shorts for you and show you his balls the whole time.
Okay,

Speaker 9 we have a story. We have a connection.
Yeah. What you just said, I almost...

Speaker 9 I've been down there and as soon as I parked and he came out and said, yeah, just parked there. I said, are you going to put on a shirt or not?

Speaker 1 I mean, I know you're buffed.

Speaker 9 I know you're buff. Thank God I didn't see the short shorts.
I mean, what's the story? Is it because he's built that way? He just likes to show off or something.

Speaker 1 He got it flaunted.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I think he just like he sees any

Speaker 5 guests coming to his house as an invitation. It's like, okay, they're coming to see my house.
Then I'm comfortable showing them the goods.

Speaker 5 He thinks that that's the real tour. Yeah.
It's like, okay, you can check out the den or you can just look at my pecs for 30 minutes.

Speaker 9 Well, interestingly, so I mean, I literally just interviewed him.

Speaker 9 It's either going to be uh Michelle Beadle or Ryan on the first show, uh, because I just recorded them and they're editing them right now. But uh,

Speaker 9 he, he didn't, uh, I like martinis and I like martini glasses.

Speaker 9 And I swear to God, I don't even know if he had a martini glass or he didn't have vodka or something because he drinks, I think he drinks tequila and I brought some red wine. But

Speaker 9 I don't know, man. What shit? What do you young people drink now? Because when I was in my 30s, I used to drink gimlets, which have the roses lime juice, but I don't like all that sugar.

Speaker 9 So now I just go martini or red wine. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You guys. We're Coors Light, Coors Light-sponsored podcast.

Speaker 5 I like Coors Light or any margarita that has like an upside-down beer bottle in it. I like those two.
Okay.

Speaker 9 Okay.

Speaker 5 A little less classy. I'm like the junkyard version of the worst part of your brain.

Speaker 9 Well, I used to drink in my 30s single malt scotch, but it's, I love it. But now I do it only at like Christmas time.

Speaker 1 That's a good Christmas drink.

Speaker 1 I'm going to get some martinis. I feel like that's a later in life kind of drink.

Speaker 9 Yeah, I mean, they're ice cold. They're beautiful.
I go vodka.

Speaker 9 A lot of people go gin. I like vodka.
And I like the whole ritual of the shaking. And I've mentioned about three times I like the martini glass, the shape of it.

Speaker 9 But I do like talking about drinking, but I do, I talk about drinking in moderation because I've cut way down. And

Speaker 9 I gotta, you want to hear a funny thing? It just happened today.

Speaker 9 There is a friend of mine who has a,

Speaker 9 he's probably an alcoholic, but,

Speaker 9 and I say he's an acquaintance, but, but he told me, I met him recently at a bar.

Speaker 1 You know, I met him.

Speaker 9 He's like 38, and he said

Speaker 9 he has to stop drinking because his liver, he started drinking at an early age and he abuses it. So his liver is really bad.
And he had something called a fibro scan, which I have never heard of.

Speaker 9 But as soon as I heard that, I said, I want to see if all those years of drinking affected my liver. So I've got a fibro scan and it's an ultrasound.
And

Speaker 9 they put a little cream on there and they do an ultrasound. They check your liver and you take, you also do a blood test.
And I got the results. Actually, today I went to the doctor.

Speaker 9 He emailed me the results, but I couldn't see him for a month. And he said, everything's good, Craig.
Everything's fine. I said, really? He He goes, yeah, you have no

Speaker 9 fibrosis of the liver and you're fine and there's no enzymes. It's actually one of the best tests I've ever seen.

Speaker 9 And I laughed really hard. I said, well, that's because you do a bunch of old people.
He goes, no, your liver is

Speaker 9 better than a lot of 30-year-olds.

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 9 So we're going out tonight, man.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this is like

Speaker 1 you're dipping into Trump territory. He's never seen a liver like yours.
The best liver he's ever seen.

Speaker 9 Oh, that is funny.

Speaker 5 He's also kind of like underhandedly calling you a pussy.

Speaker 1 Yeah. He's like,

Speaker 1 you should drink more. True.

Speaker 9 That's a good point.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you guys cut through the crap.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, let's talk about the Timberles because Anthony Edwards is electric.

Speaker 9 I think everybody loves him. Nationally, everybody goes crazy.
He is unbelievable.

Speaker 9 I watch every game, 82 games. He's inconsistent right now, but he's unbelievable.

Speaker 9 And nationally, everyone has a problem with Kat. And Kat is, his shooting touch is ridiculous.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 so here's the problem. And I think it's, it just is very basic in that Kat is a big guy, and his game is soft sometimes down low.
And now, now, I know it's a, it's a mean thing. He's saying soft.

Speaker 1 It is. It is.

Speaker 1 He doesn't he dunked on Joe.

Speaker 9 He junked on Joel Embiid. Yeah.
He sometimes pushes off. Yeah.
He gets an offensive foul. He's not soft.
I mean, I guess a guy like Embiid,

Speaker 9 these guys can't guard him.

Speaker 9 Jokic can't guard him. Embiid can't guard him.
Now, he has trouble guarding them. Now we have Rudy Gobert.

Speaker 1 Right. So that's, I think that's actually the, like, I love the Rudy Gobert signing or trade.
I don't think Rudy Gobert, like,

Speaker 1 there's clearly problems because you can't, like, offensively, he's a zero at times in the playoffs, and that causes a big problem.

Speaker 1 But I do think that Kat, having Rudy Gobert there, is going to help him a lot. And now Kat doesn't have to guard all those guys.
And

Speaker 1 when I say soft, I don't mean he's soft like anyone who's in the NBA is not soft because the work it takes to get there. I'm just saying,

Speaker 1 would you not agree that sometimes down low, you're like, dude, you're bigger than these guys. Just fucking take it to him.

Speaker 9 Well, they, they, listen, they used to criticize KG for not posting up like Tim Duncan, but he doesn't have the same body as Tim Duncan. He doesn't have the same hips as Tim Duncan.

Speaker 9 And then KG, of course, can guard everybody on the perimeter because he's such a great defender.

Speaker 9 I haven't seen it. He has an automatic jump hook, Kat does when he's down low.

Speaker 9 I mean, there are a couple highlights where he got muscled down low, but I think they play him nationally. He bothers people for some reason.
Maybe he's quirky or whatever.

Speaker 1 He's goofy. He's goofy.

Speaker 1 He's a goofy guy.

Speaker 9 Right. By the way, Chris Finch, the head coach who we all love, Finchy,

Speaker 9 had this term for Kat. He came up with it.
So, Cat will drive. He likes to drive.
He'll get the ball. He'll fake the three-pointer and drive and dunk or lay it in and fall down.
He falls down a lot.

Speaker 9 And Finchy calls it

Speaker 9 stray voltage.

Speaker 9 Cat has stray voltage. He'll just go down the lane and do this stuff.

Speaker 9 But we all locally, we all thought that was very funny because Cat has that crazy energy sometimes when he drives and falls down.

Speaker 9 But I love him. I mean, the guy shot 54% his first three years in the NBA.
He shoots over 40% from three.

Speaker 9 He puts a lot of stress on the defense.

Speaker 1 So I love him. What about Pat Bev?

Speaker 5 Are you going to miss Pat Bev? It felt like he gave you guys a nice little spark.

Speaker 9 He did. He played well.
There was this guy. His name was Larry Miller.
He was the old owner of the Utah Jazz. He's passed away, but he said, I don't want to win a championship with Dennis Rodman.
So

Speaker 9 there are certain players you don't want to have on your team for certain owners and stuff. And as a fan, Pat Bev was a little too crazy for me, but

Speaker 9 he played extremely well. Yeah.
The guy that's mercurial is an inconsistent streak is D'Lo. Yeah.
He's a streak. He's a streak shooter, man.

Speaker 1 But you need guys like that. You need guys who can get hot and carry you for a quarter.

Speaker 1 So what would you say? Like we saw last year. I feel like that was a good first step for a young team.
What is a success next year for the Timberwolves?

Speaker 9 I'm saying it

Speaker 9 great question um

Speaker 9 they had 46 wins last year

Speaker 9 and they felt you know they were they were talking for a year and a half to try to get miles turner from the pacers for to play alongside cat

Speaker 9 and then they talked about clint capella nobody thought rudy gobert was available

Speaker 9 But now Vegas already has about, I think, 50 wins. So I'm going to say 50 because, you know, the West,

Speaker 9 the Wolves caught a break with Kawhi being out. The Blazers were down.

Speaker 9 The Lakers.

Speaker 9 Lakers, Zion was not playing. You know, so

Speaker 9 they caught a break. So if they stood Pat, they were concerned that they might struggle to get to the play-in game, which was the seventh seed.
That's what they were. So I'm hoping 50 wins.

Speaker 1 50 wins feels doable.

Speaker 5 But I mean, you've been in this game long enough. You know how it goes.
They get 51, 52 wins, and they lose in the first round. And then everybody's like, What's wrong with the Timberwolves?

Speaker 5 At that point, like the regular season goes out the window, and we start calling them choke artists. That's you know, that's what we have to do.
That's our job.

Speaker 9 You don't have to, you can, you can, you know, suck it up. Right.

Speaker 1 I want to.

Speaker 1 I will want to do that, though.

Speaker 9 Yeah, you got the media has to, you know, be colorful and say choke and suck and all that kind of stuff. Um, but, um,

Speaker 1 you're taking food out of our mouths here, Craig. That's okay.
That's their frauds.

Speaker 5 I want to call them a fraud.

Speaker 1 We like the takes. You got to have the takes.

Speaker 9 Are we able to swear? I don't swear.

Speaker 1 Yeah, fuck. You can swear.

Speaker 9 You don't swear.

Speaker 1 You can swear.

Speaker 9 I don't swear. I'm sadly, I don't swear.

Speaker 9 I don't know if we'll get to it. I was thinking about it.
I have this.

Speaker 9 I have a great story. And I have to work blue for a second or dirty for a second.
But I don't know if we're going to get to it. But it's a Clint Eastwood story.
But if we, I don't know where to go.

Speaker 1 Let's go for it.

Speaker 9 Let's go for it. Conversation is going.
Well, it has to happen naturally.

Speaker 9 Talking about movies or something.

Speaker 5 Yeah, my next question was going to be on the T-Wolves. Like, if you were to look at the starting lineup and say, who's the good? Who's the bad? Who's the ugly?

Speaker 5 Of that, who would you assign to those categories?

Speaker 1 No, I had that written down. He did.
I saw it. Oh, really?

Speaker 5 Wow. It's a segment that we do.
It's like five questions: the good, the bad, the ugly.

Speaker 9 Jaden McDaniels is really good.

Speaker 9 He's a start. He might start over.

Speaker 9 We got that guy from

Speaker 9 the guy from Memphis, Anderson, the forward, the slow-mo guy.

Speaker 9 But, you know,

Speaker 9 D'Lo plays the point and Ant plays the

Speaker 9 two guard and then Jade McDaniels and then Kat's going to play the four. Rudy's going to play the five.
They're all good. They're all, none of them are ugly.
You guys, you guys ever seen Dirty Harry?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Who's in that?

Speaker 9 I'll just tell the story. I have to figure out the word I'm going to use, but I'll figure it out.
So

Speaker 9 my favorite place in the world is Carmel, California.

Speaker 9 I used to live up there. I don't know if you know where it is, where Pebble Beach is.

Speaker 1 I was there a month ago. Oh, really? I hated it.

Speaker 9 How come?

Speaker 1 I was at a wedding and everyone got COVID. No, I actually loved it.
It was great, but everyone did get COVID, but it was a great place.

Speaker 9 Were you in Carmel? Did you go down to the beach?

Speaker 1 Yeah, we were at the beach. Then we were in the valley, the whole thing.
It was unbelievable. We went to Pebble Beach for lunch.
It was great.

Speaker 9 Okay, so it's one of the most beautiful places in the world. I lived in the village of Carmel by the sea for three years.
I did local TV in Monterey, and then I went to ESPN. And

Speaker 9 Clint Eastwood was the mayor there in the 80s.

Speaker 9 He lives there. Clint Eastwood lives there.
He did a movie called Play Misty for me in Carmel back in the late 60s, I believe. Anyways, maybe 71.
But anyways, so I'll quickly tell my story.

Speaker 9 So I'm at ESPN, and I go to Comedy Central Daily Show, and it's different. I have a makeup person, a wardrobe person, and then my producer says, I got somebody who will cut your hair.
He's in Midtown.

Speaker 9 Go down there. It's in Midtown.
So I go there, and this gay hairdresser is cutting my hair. And inevitably, we talk about, you know, I miss California.
I said, I used to live in Carmel.

Speaker 9 He goes, Carmel?

Speaker 9 Well, Clint Eastwood was the mayor there. He has a 12-inch dick.

Speaker 9 I said, oh.

Speaker 9 He actually said, he actually said C and then O-C-K. That's the word he used.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 9 So I said, oh, that's interesting. And then I had, when I worked at Carmel, I lived the local news anchor, Dina.
She was at the other station, but we were friends.

Speaker 9 She ended up marrying Clint Eastwood. There was a 30-year age difference, and she married him.
And they were married for like 19 years. And she's a friend of mine.
So

Speaker 9 the next time I talked to her, I told her this story about the hairdresser. And she said, that's very funny.
That's not true, but that's very funny.

Speaker 9 Fast forward six months, Dina calls, says, Clint and I are in Manhattan. Do you want to go have dinner with us? I said, absolutely.
So we go down there and we're down at Nobu downtown.

Speaker 9 I'm sitting there. And then to my left is Allison Eastwood, his daughter, who I became friends with.
And she did my show later on CBS.

Speaker 9 And then it's Clint across from me and then Dina across from Allison. And then is William Morris agent.

Speaker 9 The last thing I'm going to do is talk too much around Clint Eastwood. But halfway through the dinner, I said, hey, man, I said, hey, I didn't say man.

Speaker 9 I said, hey, my dad and I love the movie where Eagles Dare with Richard Burton. Did he drink a lot?

Speaker 9 And he said, yeah, I could match him with the beer, but he was chasing it with scotch and I couldn't keep up with him. And then I did Paint Your Wagon with Lee Marvin.

Speaker 9 I thought all actors were luscious because he was a drinker. So my one question, Clint just starts talking.
And then Dina says, I told him about the hairdresser.

Speaker 9 And I said, don't we have any secrets? And Clint said, he was an inch off.

Speaker 1 That's great. That's distraction.
Yeah, right. I know.
He didn't say, man. He didn't say.

Speaker 9 And then Dina got him on the CBS show.

Speaker 9 I got to interview him. It was great.

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Getroman.com/slash PMT. And now, Craig Kilbourne.

Speaker 1 So, your career is fascinating. I know that you probably had the questions before, but like, when you did step away,

Speaker 1 what was the thought process? Because

Speaker 1 I like actually love anyone who's like, you know, at the height or a success and like, you know what, I don't want to do this right now.

Speaker 1 And also sidebar was your agent at the time like so furious. Like, what the fuck, Craig? Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 9 Well, there, yeah. Well, one of the conflicts of interest was I had the same agent as Letterman and Letterman owned the show.
But

Speaker 9 my thought process was,

Speaker 9 I'm doing the 1230.

Speaker 9 I now have no desire to do the 1130. And you're supposed supposed to want to move up.
But to me, it was a headache. And I'll tell you why.
You had to tiptoe around the guests.

Speaker 9 And then it became too much talking of politics. I'm kind of apolitical.
I'm a registered independent. I work in Hollywood.
You're obviously going to work with a bunch of liberals.

Speaker 9 And I just, you had to start talking about politics on the air. And that bothered me.
I didn't think that show was set up for victory. I thought it was more of a

Speaker 9 just kind of in place, a place setter, and it was just there. And,

Speaker 9 but the main reason was creatively, I, I lost interest. I always say that because if I creatively wanted to do it, I just put up with all the silliness and do it.

Speaker 9 You just put up with it because it's fun. But creatively, I didn't want, I was bored with late night comedy, with Paris Hilton jokes, which are now Kim Kardashian jokes.
And

Speaker 9 I have this weird, quirky, aristocratic sensibility that's on my Instagram. And

Speaker 9 I always felt there was a character I could play in a scripted television series. That's what I felt.
But it was a very liberating decision to walk away.

Speaker 9 It was, I mean, it's one of the happiest days of my life. I know, and people don't understand it, but that's fine.
But some people get it.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 I definitely understand it. And I also, there's something that's,

Speaker 1 I don't know, it's just the most people watch. us or you or whoever and they're like, that's the dream job.
Why would you ever walk away from it?

Speaker 1 Well, I mean, not understanding there's other parts that are involved in it. And what you said about the creative pro, like not being creatively

Speaker 1 like stimulated. Yeah, and stimulated and enthralled with it.

Speaker 1 Why wouldn't you walk away? That's an incredibly powerful decision to make.

Speaker 9 Yeah, and it was a dream job. It was what I wanted to do.
I watched Johnny Carson a lot. I worshiped Letterman like everybody did in my 20s when I was in my 20s.

Speaker 9 But I guess I got it out of my system. I did it.
And it wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

Speaker 9 I'm grateful I did it. And I really enjoyed walking away.
And

Speaker 9 it's funny because when you do, I mean, I'm sure you guys are controversial in your own way. I was controversial.
You know, I was jokingly self-absorbed and, you know, all this kind of stuff. And

Speaker 9 so when I was doing the show, some people loved me and some people hated me. And then when you walk away, a new group of people hate you for walking away.
Like, who the hell do you think you are?

Speaker 9 Right.

Speaker 9 uh but it's it's it's very relaxing i mean you can see i mean i still have blonde hair

Speaker 9 great there's no stress, man.

Speaker 1 There's no stress. Yeah, I think.

Speaker 9 Did I tell you about my liver?

Speaker 1 My liver is the best liver you've ever seen.

Speaker 5 I think a lot of people can relate to the fact that we've all had bad jobs, and the day that you walk away from a job that you don't like is actually the best day of your life. Like you said.

Speaker 5 Like, I remember where I was when I quit my most hated job, and I was driving away, and I was just smiling. I was like looking at the office building.

Speaker 5 I'm like, this feels, why did I do this, you know, six months, a year ago? Oh, yeah, the whole like paycheck thing. That was kind of nice.

Speaker 1 But you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 Right, right, right.

Speaker 5 It's a good feeling to kind of know in that moment that you made the right decision. And I understand what you're saying about especially late-night comedy.
It's so

Speaker 5 segmented. And it can be so routine sometimes where it's like, okay, here's your monologue.
You get to do a bit. And then the celebrity interviews are either hit or miss.

Speaker 5 And sometimes they feel so transactional. It's somebody that you've never met before, never spoken with, might not ever speak with again.

Speaker 5 And they like set you up with their anecdotes that they want to tell and all that.

Speaker 5 It seems like there's not a whole lot of room for creative freedom as much as you know, David Letterman made it look like the easiest thing in the world in the 80s and 90s, but that's not always the reality.

Speaker 9 Yeah, the uh,

Speaker 9 I feel like sometimes they have to fill an hour, it's it's filling an hour, and it's the comedy's hit and miss. And then, and then sometimes the interviews, you know, some of the interviews are great.

Speaker 9 I had great interviews, and it's very satisfying, but uh, I don't really watch it anymore, so I don't pay attention. I do listen to some podcasts, and

Speaker 9 I'm surprised at the success of podcasts because everyone says we're a short attention span society, but podcasts are not short attention span, man. They're they're long.

Speaker 1 No, I think that's also

Speaker 1 like the key to a good podcast. And I'm, you know, I guess I'll say that we have a good podcast.

Speaker 1 It's shown over years is like you want to feel like you're just hanging out with the people that are hosting the show.

Speaker 1 And so there is definitely some passive listening where I'm sure people will, you know, tune out or forget they're even listening.

Speaker 1 But there's something about being able to hang out with people that you like or find funny or want to hear what they're talking about that podcast, you can't do in any other medium.

Speaker 1 You can't really do that on TV or radio because radio is every 10 minutes

Speaker 1 there's a commercial break or you take callers or whatever it may be. And that's,

Speaker 1 just speaking from listening to podcasts myself, I always find that you you get drawn to the people you want to be friends with.

Speaker 9 Right, right. I was going to say when you were telling the story about driving away and from the quitting the job and you felt amazing, I

Speaker 9 when I quit the CBS job, I was so euphoric. I just said, if I play the lottery tomorrow, I will win.
I mean, I was like, so.

Speaker 1 You're in the zone.

Speaker 9 Yeah, I was in the zone. It was hilarious.
It was, it was just like, and my girlfriend at the time was was like,

Speaker 9 she comes over with champagne. She goes, I can't believe you did it.
You told me you would. I said, why do you think I said it?

Speaker 9 I just didn't think you were going to actually do it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 You're actually like, you've quit some great jobs.

Speaker 5 That takes balls.

Speaker 5 You left the ESPN. You left Sports Center.
You left the Daily Show. I think that surprised a lot of people at the time because I loved you when you were hosting the Daily Show.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 Thank you.

Speaker 5 What was the impetus for that? Why did you decide, okay, I've taken this show as far as I want to take it?

Speaker 9 Well, I wanted to, back then in the 90s, there was a big difference between network and cable. In fact, the daily show was replacing Bill Maher's show because he was jumping to ABC.

Speaker 9 So I wanted to do a network show. I wanted to do a traditional late night show, not a news parody.

Speaker 9 The daily show, it was a half hour. The interviews were four minutes.
Also, and we're not getting into this today. I haven't really talked about it.

Speaker 9 The daily show was easily the most dysfunctional place I've worked because the network set it up the wrong way.

Speaker 9 They hired the executive executive producer first and then they didn't, they hired me second. And so it was very dysfunctional.
I just ignored it and scored on the air and got out of there.

Speaker 9 But I much I wanted to do a traditional network show. It was, I wanted to get the hell out of there.
So the and I wanted to get the hell out of ESPN as well because I wanted to do a late night show.

Speaker 9 So the only one that for me was the, you know, crazy one to walk away from or whatever was the CBS one, but I enjoyed it.

Speaker 1 What, how long after you walked away from the CBS show?

Speaker 1 Like, I would imagine there was phone calls i imagine there's people being like hitting your agent up and hitting you up being like hey craig we want you to do this what was there any that you walk like that you're like no that you ever think back of like ooh that'd be weird if i did that that'd be cool oh no i mean the the thing is i was I wrote a sitcom and sold it.

Speaker 9 There were a couple of sitcoms. Sitcoms are like hit or miss.
Like if you, if you know, like Ted Danson did Cheers, then it took him forever. He did Becker.

Speaker 9 They're like hitting the lottery themselves when a scripted show works. They develop all these sitcoms and then one of it, one of them goes, and it's a long process.

Speaker 9 So I sold one to ABC and then we wrote it and it didn't go to pilot. But as far as talk shows,

Speaker 9 there were, I mean, I could tell you some of them, like there was, Fox said, do you want to do something at Saturday night?

Speaker 9 uh going up against saturday night live i said no i don't want to do that um i don't want to and then what else was interesting there was something else i think there were some daytime things that uh and then there was another one that was very interesting.

Speaker 9 And I can't remember. I mean, MSNBC, but that's before they were political.
They just, I think they had McEnroe doing his show. There was another,

Speaker 9 yeah, they asked you to host,

Speaker 9 what's the comic, what's that show,

Speaker 9 the stand-up comic show? I can't remember.

Speaker 5 Last comic standing?

Speaker 9 Yeah, that, yeah, exactly. They asked me to host that.
But there was another, another good talk. Oh.

Speaker 9 The Comedy Central people had another network called Spike at the time. And they said, we want you to do a talk show on Spike.
So

Speaker 9 there were opportunities,

Speaker 9 but

Speaker 9 I was just like, I either want to do what I want to do, which is some kind of scripted character. My favorite sitcom is Frazier.
And some kind of

Speaker 9 white-collar character.

Speaker 9 I would play. And so I didn't really want to do a talk show, if that makes sense.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 5 You should do like a cooking show, but instead of top chef, you're the judge, and it's just guys making you drinks. Just like classy,

Speaker 5 classy cocktails, top liver. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Can you kill Craig Kilburn's liver?

Speaker 9 Let's

Speaker 9 produce it. Let's get it going.

Speaker 1 We'll have a meeting next week.

Speaker 1 I love it. Do people, I'd imagine you still get recognized every now and then from old school, even though it was a brief

Speaker 1 cameo, it was a memorable one.

Speaker 1 Do you still have every now and then people being like, oh, old school?

Speaker 9 We'll give you a dollar if you don't say good talk at the end of this podcast.

Speaker 5 No, I'm just kidding.

Speaker 1 See you out there? Okay.

Speaker 1 It's an all-time line. It's an all-time line.

Speaker 9 No, no, it's, it was, no, it was fun. It was, uh, that was a fun scene.
Good talk. I see you out there.
Yeah. It was so funny.

Speaker 1 Uh,

Speaker 9 that was a, that was a fun movie. Uh, yeah, people recognize me from that all the time and, and from all the shows.
And they're very nice. Bartenders are my favorite people in the world, man.

Speaker 9 I have a, I don't know how much time you spend in California, but so I live in L.A., but I have a vacation home out in the Palm Springs area.

Speaker 9 I don't know if you've been out in the desert, but there are a bunch of communities. There's a place called Palm Desert and Indian Wells where they have tennis and Coachella and La Quinta.

Speaker 9 And so I have a little place out there and there's a lot of live music and a lot of

Speaker 9 cool bars and restaurants. And it's just, it's fun to go out there.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
No, that is a great place. I've been out there once and I loved it.

Speaker 5 We drove through Southern California. We drove to the Super Bowl last year.
So the last part of that trip was going through the California desert.

Speaker 5 It's actually stunningly beautiful

Speaker 5 because it's a place that you don't really see that much on television or travel shows.

Speaker 5 It's a gorgeous desert.

Speaker 9 Yeah, Sinatra had a place there.

Speaker 9 There's this kind of kitschy place called Melvin's in Palm Springs at this hotel, and they have Sinatra napkins. It's just hilarious.

Speaker 9 But

Speaker 9 you guys went to the SoFi, and I've never been there because my friends.

Speaker 1 We We didn't go. We didn't go.

Speaker 9 Oh, I thought you drove there.

Speaker 1 No, we went to the Super Bowl week. We actually didn't go to the Super Bowl.
We don't do, it's a little pros trip trick. Okay.

Speaker 1 Going to the actual Super Bowl, it's better to watch it on TV and then we have to podcast right after.

Speaker 9 So it's like... I see.
That's smart.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we don't go to a lot of football games because we're just a bad person.

Speaker 9 Yeah, I had a friend who went to the Rams against Brady in Tampa Bay regular season game, and he said it took him an hour and a half to get home. I just don't like the traffic going to these games.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 NFL is is one of those sports that it's 10 times better to watch at home. You get to watch, because you also want to see what else is going on in the league.

Speaker 5 You don't want to just sit there and watch one game. The NFL is in trouble, I think, in terms of like ticket sales.
They're going to start building smaller stadiums, I think, in the future. Because

Speaker 5 the cat's out of the bag. Your couch is 10 times more comfortable than going to a stadium.

Speaker 9 I got to tell you.

Speaker 9 I've gone, I get offered to go to NBA games and I, hey, someone just walked by. Is that normal?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. That was my problem.

Speaker 9 Should I do that with my podcast?

Speaker 1 Have people walk by to make it look like I'm important? Someone should just serve you a martini halfway through the podcast.

Speaker 9 So

Speaker 9 I've never paid for an NBA ticket, and I don't think I ever will. Okay.

Speaker 9 But, and I don't really want this to be repeated. For the NBA league pass, I would pay anything.

Speaker 9 I have to watch those games. Yeah.
So I think it's like, I think it's 300 bucks. I don't know what it is, but don't tell Adam Silver, but if it was higher, I would pay higher.

Speaker 1 I'd agree. I agree.
I have it like I do the double. I pay, I think I pay for it on my phone and then also for regular cable so I can watch it on my TV.

Speaker 1 But yeah, you can have one account and log into both. Yeah, I pay twice, but I'll take it.
I'm stupid. Yeah, I'm stupid like that.
I do that with MLB as well. All right.
So, Craig, this is

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Speaker 1 Last question, kind of a

Speaker 1 tough question to answer, but I'm going to ask it anyway. If Craig Kilbourne was starting his career again and he had social media like it is is today.
So, social media existed in 1995 or whatever.

Speaker 1 How do you think it would have gone differently? Because I've seen, you know, like what you've done with social media, your humor would have fit so perfectly with Twitter and Instagram.

Speaker 1 Do you think it would have been like, oh, my God, this guy is the funniest guy in the world? Or how do you think, or would he have been canceled? Would you have done something stupid?

Speaker 9 No, that's a great question.

Speaker 1 That's the question. Thank you.

Speaker 6 I think that was the third great question. Yeah.

Speaker 9 Yeah, that was a great one.

Speaker 9 When I used to late night, the guys used to some of the critics called me the natural host, and then all my friends, of course, they like to call me the natural host.

Speaker 9 It's kind of fun, but since I walked away, all these other my friends call me underrated host, underrated host.

Speaker 9 But a lot of people said, Craig, if YouTube was as big as it is now, when you guys, when you put those bits on there, Sebastian, the asexual icon, and Yambo, and five questions, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 9 So, it would have been, yeah, it would have been a bigger thing, man. Because we had some what we call repeatable comedy bits.
We had some really good comedy bits.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And

Speaker 9 we had to recreate a press photo. We'd take a press photo of Rick Fox hugging Phil Jackson.
And then we had our stage manager be Phil Jackson.

Speaker 9 We had Rick Fox on the show and he'd hug him and we'd do split screen. We did all this crazy stuff, man.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was great.

Speaker 1 I tend to agree that a lot of your humor and what you did would have translated even better in today's day.

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 9 Were you a great question? Did I say that?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's very strong. I appreciate that.

Speaker 5 Were you

Speaker 5 a little bit pissed off that Jon Stewart stole Moment of Zen from you?

Speaker 9 No, not at all. I uh I think the moment of Zen, I think uh we had that.
I think a writer came, I can't remember who came up with that.

Speaker 9 I did, I was able to take five questions and dance, dance, dance a moment for us. That's all I cared about.
Yeah, and uh that's uh it's called intellectual property, the five questions.

Speaker 9 People grooved on that. There were a couple of guests that said I can't play it.
They didn't want to be embarrassed, but that's okay. I can't name names.

Speaker 1 Name one name.

Speaker 5 Clint Eastwood.

Speaker 9 Yeah, I tell you, the fifth question for Clint Eastwood was:

Speaker 9 and finally, I want you to squint because it's sunny and then squint because you're angry. So he wanted to see the different squints because that's all he does when he acts.
He squints.

Speaker 9 Squint because it's sunny and squint. Let's see the difference.

Speaker 9 No, Hallie Berry was really cool. She was beautiful.
And she said, Craig, I don't want to play. I said, fine.
Yeah, she was cool. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 your wit is intimidating.

Speaker 9 Yeah. Some of those questions, I mean, you never know in life where there's a gap, you know, where there's a gap.
Like, not everyone knows geography or some people don't know math.

Speaker 9 There might be something we should know, you know, because

Speaker 9 there are stories that we don't follow. There are movies we haven't seen.

Speaker 9 I mean, I could tell you guys I've never seen an episode of Friends and that, but that would piss you off, or maybe you'd be proud of me. But there are things I haven't seen that I'm supposed to see.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, you thought Kellen Mond was going to be a good quarterback.

Speaker 9 Well, I was just.

Speaker 1 Like, that's exactly what you're saying. Yeah.
Oh, oh, wait, wait.

Speaker 9 Do you have do you have Chris Sims on your show ever?

Speaker 1 We have had him on once, yes. Okay.

Speaker 9 He likes Kellen Mond.

Speaker 9 He had him rated ahead of Justin Fields.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit. All right.
Well, I walked into that one. Okay.
That was a great interview.

Speaker 1 Listen, you can't hurt me more than I've been hurt when it comes to Bears quarterbacks.

Speaker 9 Let me just ask you, is he going to be good? Because the Vikes wanted to trade up for him, but they low-balled it, so they didn't. And then the Bears snuck, you know, they got him.

Speaker 9 He's going to be good?

Speaker 1 He is going to be the perfect test case of

Speaker 1 if he's good, it's in spite of everything that's been stacked against him. And if he's bad, we're not even going to know if he's truly bad because it's been that much of like, he has nothing.

Speaker 1 So I could totally see him being terrible for the Bears and then getting a second chance somewhere else and flourishing. So I really don't.

Speaker 1 I wish I could say definitively yes, but I really do think he's in such a bad spot that the answer could very well be no.

Speaker 9 You know, I fear the Bears more than you do because they beat the Vikings in their defense.

Speaker 9 I know they got rid of Khalil Mack and some people, but when you're talking like that, I have friends that are Jets fans, and I have people tell me if you're a great quarterback and you're drafted by the Jets, it's not going to work out.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 9 But the Jets are worse than the Bears.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's...

Speaker 1 In terms of quarterback,

Speaker 1 in terms of history of quarterbacks, the Bears have never had a 4,000-yard passer in the history of their franchise. Do you know how hard that is in today's NFL?

Speaker 9 Yeah,

Speaker 9 I was a huge Walter Payton fan growing up, and I liked Bobby Douglas, who was the quarterback for the Bears. Who else did they have that I liked? I liked Jim McMahon.
He was okay.

Speaker 9 But yeah, they've never had

Speaker 1 the guy. Never had the guy.

Speaker 5 There's just certain franchises that have that stink on them. Yeah.
You know, like the Jets are definitely up there. Although, I don't know, Zach Wilson.
Did you follow the Zach Wilson news last week?

Speaker 9 Yeah,

Speaker 9 I texted my buddies in New York about it.

Speaker 1 He's a motherfucker.

Speaker 9 Yeah, we were talking about our mom's hot friends and all that stuff. It was fun.

Speaker 5 I feel like that's going to play in the locker room, though.

Speaker 1 I feel like that's a

Speaker 5 positive for him.

Speaker 9 One of the guys already said that's my quarterback.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, that is.
That is.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, Craig, thank you so much.
You're now a recurring guest, so you have to come back on anytime we ask. Everyone, go check out his new podcast.

Speaker 1 Go check out the YouTube, Sir Craig Kilbourne on YouTube, and Craig Kilbourne, the Life Gorgeous, out now.

Speaker 1 Ryan Rossillo, listen to it before it gets canceled because I'm sure Ryan said something that will be very bad.

Speaker 9 Well, I'll just go with Michelle Beadle. I won't even play Ryan today.

Speaker 9 I'll take your advice. Thanks, guys.
It was a blast.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 5 Thank you so much, Craig.

Speaker 1 Really appreciate it.

Speaker 4 The Pro Football Football Show is presented by the Chevy Silverado. Built for the hustle, ready for the game.
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Speaker 1 Okay, let's wrap up.

Speaker 1 This is, like I said, we'll be back in studio on Sunday. This is our last vacation week before football kicks into gear.
Credit to us, by the way. Feel like we did a good job vacationing in July.

Speaker 1 Because we do say we're going to do that every year, and we finally did it. And football season is going to kick our ass, but we're very excited for it.
We also have Grit Week in two weeks.

Speaker 1 So get excited, Colorado,

Speaker 1 Rado, all the people in Rado, and maybe some other locations. Get ready.

Speaker 1 And yeah, we'll be back in studio on Sunday. Big announcement, Sunday.

Speaker 5 I can't wait for football season. Huge announcement.

Speaker 1 Yeah, big announcement. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, Hank, Firefest.

Speaker 7 PFT, I mean, there's a couple. PFT alluded to it.
I have the first one is that match we had. Jake and I were up one hole with two to go and we, or three to go, and we lost.

Speaker 7 So that was a choke job on our part.

Speaker 5 PFT. Did you choke or did we win it?

Speaker 7 I played, I didn't choke.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 7 Jake. You guys won it.
So you guys won it.

Speaker 5 Throwing you right under the bus. I actually played it.

Speaker 1 Actually, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

Speaker 1 no. Yeah.

Speaker 7 Yeah, no, you guys won it. My other firefest, I am staying at the Casa de Cometer last night.
I woke up,

Speaker 7 kind of was very confused where I was, was, very, very thirsty, walked downstairs to get a water, couldn't find a water bottle, couldn't find a cup.

Speaker 7 There was a mini fridge, and I saw a green can, and I thought it was a seltz water, and I was like,

Speaker 7 that'll quench my thirst. And I took a giant glug of it, and it was a Sprite.
So that was kind of

Speaker 7 a rude, like little 5 a.m.,

Speaker 7 5 a.m. sprite for the boys.

Speaker 5 It's kind of like mouthwash, though. Like, if you had to pick a soda to be surprised about early in the morning, I would say Sprite is my my one overall pick.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but Sprite is also

Speaker 1 top level of refreshing. Like if you had to pick the soda, the most refreshing sodas, Sprite is up there.

Speaker 7 Yeah, you just got to know it's coming. Like you think you're going for water and you get a lot of bubbles.

Speaker 1 So tough week.

Speaker 7 It's been a really tough week. Tough week on the golf course and tough week at the beach house.
It's just like a tough, tough life we lead.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Really tough week.

Speaker 5 We were playing this game of, it's kind of like a high-low game where you have nine cards showing at the same time, and then you have to figure you have to figure out which card you want to play on, and you have to say higher and lower.

Speaker 5 So, if there's like a king out there, you should say, okay, lower than that king, because chances are it'll be lower going by the math of the deck.

Speaker 5 Hank was playing like on a different quantum physics level where I couldn't even begin to get inside of his head. I tried to observe Hank in his natural environment.

Speaker 5 He was like Zach Galfanakis in the hangover doing the calculus, and he was like, I think it's going to be higher than this queen because we've seen a lot of low cards recently.

Speaker 5 And he would, to his credit, he got it right a couple times, but he really screwed us over a few times.

Speaker 1 Hank, when it comes to cards, is yeah, he gets a confidence about him that you just

Speaker 1 you don't see in other parts of like Hank's life where he's like, I know what card is going to come. When you play blackjack with him, he does the same thing.
And he does sometimes like,

Speaker 5 I mean, he did this week where he gets on the heater.

Speaker 1 2K to 3K. You got to respect it.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I mean, that was definitely.

Speaker 5 He's been golfing, going to the beach, and he won $20,000 playing blackjack.

Speaker 1 Whoa. What was that? Brutal.

Speaker 7 I was streaming.

Speaker 7 Shout out to the Barstall Sportsbook.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Sam Reno doesn't have the Barstool Sportsbook. Sorry, you missed out.

Speaker 1 All right. PFT.

Speaker 5 My Fire Fest of the week is... By this time tomorrow, I'm going to be $1.02 billion in debt with a B.

Speaker 5 So approximately the cost of Elon Musk backing out of Twitter, I've worked my own way into that sort of situation because I went out to the store, I bought $500 worth of mega millions tickets because the lottery is over a billion dollars this Friday.

Speaker 5 And I'm giving away all the money that I make when I make the billion dollars to people that are in Atlantic City at the Anchor Rock Club tomorrow night at the Pup Punk concert.

Speaker 5 So I don't know how the logistics are going to work out. I'm pretty sure it'll just be the honor system.
Tell me you were there, and then I'll pay you your share of the winnings.

Speaker 5 But it reminds me of the Larry the Goldfish issue that we ran into a few years back where he almost won the super contest and we had to figure out how to pay out like 20,000 people.

Speaker 5 I'm fairly confident that I'm going to win the drawing tomorrow night and that I'll be in that exact same situation. But again, you can only split the money with me.

Speaker 5 if you come out to the show tomorrow night Atlantic City or tonight, excuse me, Friday night, Atlantic City, Anchor Rock Club, Pup Punk.

Speaker 1 Can I be included even though I can't make it physically? I'll be there mentally.

Speaker 5 You kind of already are.

Speaker 5 You kind of already are included because when I made the initial video, I was just like doing one take, and I may have said that you will match.

Speaker 1 Okay, yeah, I'll match. I'll buy 500 tickets.
No problem. Okay, Hank, will you die? I'll buy 500.
Here's what I'm going to do for Pup Punk. I'm going to buy 500 tickets tonight.

Speaker 1 I'll tweet out the 500 tickets. Because I'm not going to be there physically.

Speaker 1 Everyone who says they couldn't make it but we're going to try to make it, they have to say it before the drawing. No, we'll get a piece of it.

Speaker 5 Big cat, no, you're not, no,

Speaker 5 take that part out.

Speaker 1 All you have to do is tweet me and say,

Speaker 1 I really wanted to go.

Speaker 5 Basically, Big Cat is paying $500 for people to not go to my concert now.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no, no, because

Speaker 1 that's literally what you're doing. Wait, but I thought it was sold.
Sorry, I thought it was sold out. If it's not, then you have to go.
No, it's dead. That's only if it's sold out.

Speaker 5 They're trying to sell some fucking tickets here. Okay, Kat.

Speaker 1 And you're like, actually, I didn't know.

Speaker 5 Would it be easier if I just gave them the money and they didn't go? No, I thought it was sold out.

Speaker 1 That's my apology. So that I will strike that from the record.
It has to, if it sells out,

Speaker 1 then anyone who says that they couldn't get a ticket because it's sold out. But if it doesn't sell out, it's only people in the same thing.
No one wants to sell it out.

Speaker 5 That doesn't make it any better.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it does because it's got to sell out. People got to buy tickets.

Speaker 5 It doesn't make it any better. Yeah, it does.
It has to sell out.

Speaker 1 No one gets anything if it doesn't sell out. It has to sell out.

Speaker 1 No one gets, you know what?

Speaker 1 If it doesn't sell out, I'm giving all the money to Saudi Arabia.

Speaker 7 Now we're talking.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there it is. Does that work?

Speaker 5 That's fine. That's better.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So if it sells out, everyone who's at the concert gets part of my winnings. And if it doesn't sell out, Saudi Arabia is getting it all.

Speaker 5 Okay, that works. That's better.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Fuck, like,

Speaker 1 it. That's happening.
So that sucks for everybody.

Speaker 5 I might, to be fair, like, it does sound very, it sounds tempting to me. Just give somebody to Saudi Arabia just for the fuck of it.
I might do that anyway.

Speaker 1 They could use it. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Just slice them in. Just help them out.
Cut out the middle, man.

Speaker 1 All right. Yeah.
I mean, it is hard to do Fire Fest on vacation. So, because you sound like you're complaining.
But

Speaker 1 I did like my 18th hole at Shinnecock yesterday. Total meltdown.
Double bogey. Could have shot par.
Brutal. So that's my Fire Fest.
Yeah. It was brutal.
That's impressive.

Speaker 1 Was it a three-putt?

Speaker 7 Was it a three-putter did you just like go OB or something?

Speaker 1 No, no. I fucking, my

Speaker 1 second shot was, I hit an eight and I should have, I should have hit a nine. So

Speaker 1 I went over the hole. Pure it.
Then I had to come back, had to scramble back. Just a total meltdown.
Total meltdown. And the caddy told me I should hit a nine.
I hit an eight. So fucking stupid.

Speaker 1 Only one to blame is myself.

Speaker 5 It's one of the hardest courses in the world. So, I mean, you know,

Speaker 1 that doesn't.

Speaker 1 People were saying that, like, oh, it's such a hard course. Like, you should be happy about a 72.

Speaker 1 That's just not how I think. You don't, you don't get to where we're at in life thinking like that.
That's a lose. Yeah,

Speaker 5 you got to go three times harder than everybody else. And on that last one, you just did normal 100%.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yes.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Jake.

Speaker 8 Yeah, so similar to you, it's a golf-related Fire Fest.

Speaker 8 I was playing out on Long Island earlier this week and I ordered my Uber from the course to the train station on the T of 18, just in case

Speaker 8 it was running late. It was a long wait.
The guy canceled on me on the way, and I missed the train, and I was stuck at the course for an extra hour when I was done.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 just brutal.

Speaker 5 Did you forget your keys?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 8 No, didn't forget my keys. I was just sitting there for an extra hour until the next train came.
But it's all good. Like you said, it's little things.
We're on vacation. We're playing golf.

Speaker 8 It's hard to complain. It's a lot of fun.

Speaker 5 Yeah, there are some moments in life where when you're going through them, you know that you'll never get these seconds back and they're utterly wasted seconds.

Speaker 5 Waiting for a train, I think, would definitely be one of them. When you're just on a platform waiting, you're like, I should be doing anything else.
When you're watching the last...

Speaker 5 15 seconds of a microwave tick down. You're just thinking yourself.
I'm just I'm just absolutely murdering time right now. I should not be doing this.

Speaker 5 So that's that's a tough wait, especially if it's hot outside.

Speaker 1 Yeah, agreed.

Speaker 1 Okay, good Firefest, Billy. Your last one, finish us off.

Speaker 5 Uh, I've been taking a lot of buses overnight, um, because then you have to pay for somewhere to sleep so you can travel and sleep, you don't have to pay for a hotel.

Speaker 5 So I was taking a bus two nights ago.

Speaker 7 Are you with friends or family, Billy?

Speaker 5 Everybody,

Speaker 1 um, everybody, everyone's family, Pangea, bro.

Speaker 5 So I was on the bus and I was asleep. I was like about to fall asleep and this dude was just sleeping on me.

Speaker 5 And I kept trying to tell him to get off me, but he like, every time he'd like wake up, he'd be like, it's some like, then he'd speak. And I don't know what language he was speaking.

Speaker 5 It was a romance language. He's like, oh, dude,

Speaker 1 and he just kept sleeping on me.

Speaker 5 And I was trying to wake him up, but he was in like a... a daydreaming state the whole time.
So he just slept on me the whole like eight-hour car ride.

Speaker 5 so wow was he snuggling yeah he was like nuzzling on my shoulder and it was just like dude i

Speaker 1 like wake up vec mom vec mom

Speaker 1 but yeah damn it was it was awkward that actually does suck a bus ride overnight is brutal it's been pretty good but that was that was the one problem

Speaker 5 that's that's maybe the biggest difference between your early 20s and your 30s is like sleeping on transportation you're fine doing that when you're like 23 years old.

Speaker 5 If you're above 30, you first of all, you don't sleep.

Speaker 5 Second of all, when you do sleep, like your whole body just goes, you either get the tingles or your whole body will just ache like shit for the next two days afterwards.

Speaker 1 It'll just spoil your week.

Speaker 5 If I tried to sleep on a bus, I might as well just check myself into a hotel for seven days to recover and sleep.

Speaker 1 Red eye, the red eye always feels like a good idea, and then you just, it ruins you for like three days when you're, when you're in your 30s, 30s 40s whatever like it just kills you i actually have the idea i i think people should start doing this um i have a bachelor party i have to go to in a couple weeks i think that it should be normalized that guys should just like spend an extra day in that city but everyone should just get like a hotel room and just sleep in like a dark room and like have a decompression day instead of going back to society like it should be like a bachelor party should always be a plus one day that you can just go and just die in like a a like think about a blackout curtain 60 degree hotel room for an entire day after it that's what we were talking about coming back from new orleans there should be yeah there should be an easier way back into society room just like the divers use when they come up to to surface level there should be a city right outside new orleans that just specializes in knocking you out pretty much for 24 hours and letting your body regenerate itself yeah yeah a seven-day coma after a bachelor party would be a great thing have you tried IVs?

Speaker 5 Just a quick, medically induced coma.

Speaker 5 Have you guys tried IVs? Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah, they're, I don't think they're like,

Speaker 1 they make you feel a little bit better, but you can't. What I've learned from IVs is they make you feel more hydrated, but you can't replace sleep.

Speaker 1 Like putting an IV in your arm doesn't replace sleep.

Speaker 1 That's the problem with IVs. Like I've done it before in Vegas where like I felt better, but I still was like, oh yeah, you know what?

Speaker 1 Sleeping three hours a night isn't going to, like, eventually I have to sleep.

Speaker 4 You push that to the limit, though.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's do numbers. Reminder: Pup Punk, Friday night, Atlantic City.
I'm going right now to buy 500 tickets.

Speaker 1 If it doesn't sell out, if it sells out, everyone in attendance can have part of my winnings and PFT's winnings. We're probably both going to win.

Speaker 1 Which would be double-big cat.

Speaker 5 What Big Cat was about to say is:

Speaker 5 Big Cat's $500 worth worth of tickets will go to the crowd if you go see pup punk on friday night tonight

Speaker 1 atlantic city anchor rock club what sorry am i back yep you're back now what yeah what i was saying yeah atlantic city i'm buying the tickets 500 tickets i what i was actually saying pft is i think we're both gonna win which would be two billion dollars um which would be sick and if it sells out it will if it sells out everyone who's in attendance gets a piece of my winnings if it doesn't doesn't sell out, Saudi Arabia gets my winnings.

Speaker 5 But to be clear, mine is: if it sells out or not, I'll be splitting it with everybody in the room, and maybe I'll just kick a couple-I don't know, like

Speaker 5 15 million to Mohammed bin Salman.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and also, my just the fine print on mine is: uh, I'm giving my winnings to Saudi Arabia after shipping and handling fees. So, naturally, so they better, we don't know.

Speaker 5 So,

Speaker 5 they better drop gas prices if they want to get that money.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes, yes. Well, dude, actually, how sick would it be to just do a stimulus for everyone?

Speaker 2 Wouldn't it be sick? Like,

Speaker 5 what do you mean, like, in the world?

Speaker 1 People need to get back to the back of the back. No, in America.

Speaker 7 People need to get back to work.

Speaker 1 $500 million after taxes.

Speaker 1 That means everyone gets a dollar.

Speaker 5 Everyone gets like over a dollar, yeah.

Speaker 1 Everyone go out.

Speaker 1 That's pretty sick. That's pretty sick.

Speaker 1 Everyone gets a dollar. That's pretty sick.
That's got to help. Take the next day.
And wouldn't that bring inflation down, maybe? Probably. I don't know.
I don't know how economics work. All right.

Speaker 1 Random number generator. All right.
Yeah. Everyone say their numbers.
One.

Speaker 1 34. 26.

Speaker 5 82.

Speaker 1 12. Again, Aaron Rodgers.
Two in a row. Whoa, back to back.
Wow. Damn.
Uh-oh. Aaron Rodgers.
Right after our ass.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Love you guys.

Speaker 5 Wolverines are related to seals and sea lions closer than actual wolves.

Speaker 5 Closer to sea lions, though, because you can see their ears.

Speaker 1 Love you guys.

Speaker 1 Talking away.

Speaker 1 I don't know what

Speaker 1 I'm to say and change anyway.

Speaker 1 Today's a night

Speaker 1 to find you

Speaker 1 shy away.

Speaker 1 Oh, I've been coming for your love and keep

Speaker 1 shying away.

Speaker 1 Oh, I'll be coming for your love and keep

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 Take

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 I'll be

Speaker 1 gone

Speaker 1 to

Speaker 1 needless to say

Speaker 1 I'm all present

Speaker 1 funny.

Speaker 1 What is okay?

Speaker 1 Say after me

Speaker 1 place for better to be safe and sorry.

Speaker 1 Say after me

Speaker 1 for better to be safe and sorry. All things that you say

Speaker 1 just to play my nerves away.

Speaker 1 You all things I've taught to remember.

Speaker 1 Be shy and away.

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for you anyway.

Speaker 1 Be shy and away.

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for you anyway.

Speaker 1 Take

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 1 begone.