Craig Kilborn, Football Is Back + Mt Rushmore Of Ways To Say Goodbye

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.

Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

On today's Pardon My Take, we have Craig Kilbourne on the show.

He's got a new podcast out, great interview with him.

We're going to talk a little training camp, football is back.

We have the Mount Rushmore of ways to say goodbye. Firefest of the week.
This is our last week of vacation Zoom shows. We're back fully in studio next week, coming off a great takeies.
Nashville, get ready for one of the biggest parties of the summer in Music City. Barstool Nashville is hosting the Summerfest block party on Friday, May 16th and Saturday, May 17th outside of Barstool Nashville on 2nd Ave South.
We're closing down the street and putting up a huge music festival stage for a star-studded lineup of artists, which includes Galantis, Loud Luxury, Young Gravy, Cameron Whitcomb, Josh Roche, Shaylin, Chandler Walters, and Dylan Schneider. And the two-day event is hosted by me, Brianna Chicken Fry, and out and about Joey and Pat.

Don't miss one of the biggest parties on the summer.

Doors open at 5 p.m. on May 16th and May 17th,

21 and over.

Get your tickets now on BarstoolNashville.com. Now in the street there is violence

And then a lot of work to be done

No place to hang out or wash in

And then I can't blame all on the sun

Oh no

We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue

And then we'll take it higher

Oh we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue. And then we'll take it higher.
Oh, we're gonna rock. Down to Electric Avenue.
It's Part of My Take, presented by Barstool Sports. Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by Sling.
Go to sling.com slash barstool to get your first month at Sling. Half off.
Today is Fridayuly 28th 29th 29th and football is back it's back back back back back back we've got we've got the press conferences with the quarterbacks after their first day of practice where they're not saying anything we've got the coaches saying everybody looks great we've've got fans everywhere except for in Ashburn, Virginia.

It's a great time to be a football fan.

It's the tweets of seven on seven and like, oh, that pass, you know,

like Justin Fields' third pass was intercepted.

It's like, oh, okay, well, defense looks good.

You can just do that all August long.

We are all the way back.

We had Russell Wilson with the biggest truck of all time. We had Aaron Rodgers cosplaying as a felon, which actually he doesn't really need to practice.
He is a felon. And since we had the takeies on Wednesday, we didn't get to discuss Kyler Murray's contract, which has everyone scratching their head.
And Kyler Murray did an impromptu press conference today and was like, this is disrespectful, which I don't really understand his point of view and the fact that he signed the contract. Does he know what was in the contract? But either way, that saga is very fun to watch.
I think it was more along the lines of he thinks it's disrespectful that somebody leaked the contract. I think that's what he's going for because're correct he did sign the contract that said that and if it was so disrespectful he probably wouldn't have signed the contract but they're trying to figure out who who released the contract because it doesn't make anybody look good it doesn't make the card was look good to be like oh yeah we just guaranteed 166 million dollars to a guy that we have to monitor to make sure he's doing his homework every night and that like when you look at the contract and it says, oh, you can't be using a second screen while you're studying film, how are they going to monitor that? I think that they're just going to have to put a nanny cam in his house.
I think they're going to have to put, like, a giant stuffed teddy bear on his sofa to make sure that when he's watching film, that's all he's doing is watching film. And it doesn't sit well.
Like if you're the Cardinals, like why did you – it sounds like they just – they had to pay him, but they didn't really want to pay him. If they're going to put in four hours – I spend longer eating lunch cumulatively over the course of a week, four hours.
Like four hours is such a small amount of film to watch. It's almost absurd.
If they're going to ask you to watch film, they should have put like 10 hours, 12 hours of film. Four hours is nothing.
Well, it's independent film. So he's watching film at the facility you'd assume with his teammates and coaches.
I do think, though, it was the Cardinals that leaked it because, like you said, they had to sign him. But they also know that there's like some issues with his play falling off at the end of the year.
the two things I looked up one was a story in the athletic where it quoted Kyler Murray from a couple years ago when he said himself this is Kyler Murray's quote he said I'm not one of those guys that's going to sit there and kill myself watching film I don't sit there for 24 hours and break down this team or that team and watch every game because in my head I see so much. So he's admitting that he's not a, uh, uh, like a film rat.
And then the other one, I don't know if you guys saw the study that was released where, uh, Kyler Murray before call of duty is released in the fall. Um, he averages 22.5 fantasy points per game.
And after it's released every fall, he averages 17.4 fantasy points per game. after it's released every fall he averages 17.4 fantasy points per game and the new call of duty is supposed to come out the end of october so it feels like the cardinals were like hey this is actually the call of duty clause here that we just need you to keep studying when they release new maps yeah i saw that was awesome that was from rose city peach they put that study out and uh it does line up perfectly too with cliff kingsbury's stats do you think cliff kingsbury is also a big call of duty guy do you think cliff kingsbury got kyler into it or do you think that they're just bad for each other where they just kind of they get sucked into their own little death spiral because they both love call of duty so much i i don't know but all i know is that like kyler murray if he was offended by this, he shouldn't have had it in the contract.
That's the part that I did still doesn't compute. I know that he's upset it got released, but I really do think the Cardinals are trying to cover their own ass because like you said, like they're, they have to sign Kyler Murray.
Kyler Murray has the potential to be a top five quarterback, but he's also had seasons where he's looked incredible and then he's faded down the stretch so it's like one of those signings that they have to do it but they also want to cover their own ass and be like well if it doesn't work out here's probably why giving themselves an escape clause you know what they should do they should just let kyler stream it on twitch it should be it should be like a thing where yeah you make content out of it. And the world wants to see you with an iPad in your hand.
The world wants to see you like going through it, have the screen play the all 22 and then have Kyler break down what he's seeing. And then like a bunch of graphics pop up when people subscribe to him.
That's really what he wants. He wants the interaction.
He should just play Madden. He should play Madden against like they should,

the team should have the,

like that week's opponent run exactly what they're going to run.

And that could be film study.

Like why not?

But could you,

could you imagine the numbers that that would do on Twitch? If it's Kyler actually doing film study?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well,

people would just be like F's in the chat the whole time,

but yeah,

it would be great.

But seriously, why wouldn't you just play Madden and be like, this is my film study and just install the exact defense that you're running up against.

Like I'm sure Madden could, if you called up Madden, they would do that in a second where it's like have them run exactly the same schemes they ran last time they played them more this week.

You know, like injuries updated, all those things updated.

Maybe even have like a professional Madden player running the defense against Kyler Murray and giving them different looks. All right.
So I'm not a lawyer. I have watched a lot of Franklin and Bash.
So I know a little bit about what I'm talking about in the contract. It certainly seems like they can they can void the entire thing if Kyler doesn't log four hours of film study.
So at some point, like he's probably going to screw that up like four hours. That's a, that's a long commitment that they have to each other.
When Kyler Murray screws that up, are they actually going to tear up the contract and be like, sorry, he didn't do his homework. So he's cut.
He's fired. I mean, maybe not, I would assume not this year or next year or the year after.
But, like, could you imagine if the end of their contract, they're like, we don't want to pay him anymore. Let's just wait for – let's just call up Call of Duty and just be like, hey, can you guys – we'll pay you guys to drop a new map, like, every single Monday for, like, four consecutive weeks.
And we'll just watch Kyler not be able to do his four hours of independent study. Yeah.
There's a lot of room for exploitation here. Like what if they, what if Warzone dropped a new map because like Kyle Shanahan was like, Hey, I'll pay you $50 million to make a map.
That's a, that is just like Glendale, Arizona. And then Tyler will be playing on that the entire time.
then, boom, you get him fired. That'd be sick.
Right before a big playoff game. Yeah.
I mean, it does suck for Kyler because he's basically – but actually, no, fuck that. No, it doesn't.
He got $160 million guaranteed. And I keep going back to it.
Like, there's no way that Patrick Mahomes or Tom Brady has a similar contract.

There's no way that that is even a question.

And I'm not saying that Kyler isn't preparing,

but it's clear there's a question out there.

And he said it himself.

He's not like a 24-7 film guy.

I'll just say that getting paid $166 million to watch four hours of football a week is my dream job. Yes.
Put that in every contract that I have. I would actually love that.
Yes. Yes.
What were you going to say, Hank? I was just going to say this is the first year. You know, they're fully partnering with Twitch and Amazon.
So like that, the Twitch stream would lend itself nicer to that. I'm sure the Amazon, Twitch people and NFL would love that.
Yeah. Yeah, that's true.
All right. What other – I still don't think people have really football's back and stuff, but Thursday Night Football is not on TV.
I think I've said it before on the show, but that's just something you've got to mentally get prepared for. Yeah, no, I'm not.
People are going to be watching Thursday Night Football on Twitch. That's a real thing.
That's a boomer take, Hank. Yeah, I'm not ready for that.
Other stories we had. What's a boomer? That's not a take, PFT.
That's just, I just stated a fact. Yeah, no, it sounds like you're not mad about it.
It's a good heads up. I'm mad.
It's just like, yeah, it's just a, it's just like a, just so you guys know. It's a good heads up.
It's like saying. It's going to be a significant delay too, probably.
Yeah, it's like saying the SEC on CBS is going away soon. Get ready for that.
Because you're not going to be able to hear that song and that's going to suck i like the heads up people are going to be mad people are going to be very mad the first thursday night oh yeah um all right other things also week one on nbc okay so then we'll wait for week two to be mad yeah there's also russell wilson he dropping a little algebra on us today he said that if somebody tells me to do something i just do three times what they ask me to do and that's his secret to success so the uh the sauce has been spilled by him yeah triple x he's russell mr triple x is russell wilson he's not 10x so yeah he's not 10x he's he's way worse than 10X. He's actually, he's supposed to be Mr.
Unlimited. So three times is actually underperforming what he's already advertised to be.
So when you say like, oh, Russell Wilson, you have zero MVP votes. He's like, oh, I actually have three times as many as zero MVP votes.
He's correct. And he is just, Russell Wilson is just becoming more and more of a robot every day.
The fact that he like, he actually is what, you know, when people say like, I'll give 110%, he truly believes that there is something more than a hundred percent. Like in his heart hearts, he's like, I will do, I will do 300% and you'll see me do 300%.
It's like, well, that's not possible. Like your, your max effort%.
No, it's like, no, no, no. 300% is what Russell Wilson will give you.
You can always dig deeper. Him and Jim Harbaugh are the only two guys that know where to find 110% milk on earth.
And that's what they drink. Jim Harbaugh, what a, I mean, chestnut checkers.
He's going to be like the NIL recruiting era is going to be very competitive. And he's essentially just opened the doors being like, I will take any babies that my team produces.
And guess what? It's a lot easier to recruit your adopted sons than it is some random kid that you have no connection with, uh, who you're trying to get, you know, like a t-shirt deal to come to Michigan. So I he's that's chest, not checkers to me.
Like he's building, he's building a super team for 20 years from now. It's actually double chess because not only is he doing that and you're definitely right about that, but he's also saying like, I'm going to recruit younger than anyone else in America.
I'm recruiting negative eight month old babies that are, that are not yet fully developed clumps of cells. and i'm putting an offer out to them come join us in life i'm giving you your first offer letter when you're one week old yeah embryos are getting are getting an offer letter to michigan a scholarship no a scholarship to the world from jim harbaugh that's what he's doing yes he's giving that full ride to the world i just i hope it ends up with Jim Harbaugh having like 20 children because I think that's probably what's going to happen and I think he if there's one person who can who can be the father of that many kids I think Jim Harbaugh is like definitely up there with people who will who who have the capability of just being a father figure to that many people like just yeah filling all of them up with milk, tossing balls in the backyard, teaching them about competition and the human body craves contact.
And next thing you know, Jim Harbaugh is like, yeah, here are my 35 sons. If Jim Harbaugh was everybody's dad, I think the world would have a lot fewer problems than it has right now.
In fact, if he was God, like the old testament god except more focused on sports but yeah he's a listen jim harbaugh is absolutely like he he's a master of uh saying something to get attention without meaning to get attention which i love there are some coaches that are like okay i'm gonna make some waves with this harbaugh just goes out there and he just brain dumps on everybody and everyone's like oh yeah harba, he's a character. I remember him.
He's yeah. He's a one of a kind guy.
I love having him around. He also, I would love to, I would love to have someone talk to his wife and be like, did you sign up for this? Because that felt like a Harbaugh was just writing a check, a future Harbaugh check where it's like, wait, how many, like, what's the amount of kids that he could adopt in one year do you think that like his household can handle he's gonna have a farm system he's gonna have a farm system where he gives them out to like tom crean has to raise a couple of them probably yeah we might have to take a couple i'm fine with that i will i will take one excommunicated jim harbaugh son yes what else do we have football billy you have you have your hand up.
AJ Dillon was at a Manchester United game and jumped out of the crowd being ushered by security to hype up the crowd during a rain delay. And then a cop just shoved the shit out of him for just out of nowhere, no reason.
And no one really figured it out. But that went pretty viral this week.
Did he run through the contact? He went down? I mean, A.J. Dillon is a rock of a human being.
To get a shove like that, that must have been a huge... I also want to say...
It might have been that same game, the EPL game or whatever that was played at Lambeau Field. They had a real streaker,aker which i appreciate it was a streaker like balls out and everything so you shouldn't be allowed to be called a streaker unless you're fully committed and you go totally nude on it so i want to just tip my hat to that individual and say thank you for for actually appreciating respecting the art of streaking and not just running out there in a t-shirt and having al michaels be like and we're not going to show you the streaker on the field because i think that's bullshit agreed agreed the protesters should not get streaker status streaker is something completely different where if you get i gotta see pubes yeah and you let your little dick like flop around out there in the middle of the field because let's be honest like even if you have a huge dick if you're in the middle of a a football field, it's going to look small.
So that takes some balls. And you shouldn't get to be called a streaker.
Like our good friend Kyle Long said, it's like hanging the Mona Lisa on the Hoover Dam. So it's always going to look small, even if it's really nice.
For me, I'm like the other proportion. So I say it's like putting a postage stamp on a GI Joe, which is nice, but it's still not impressive.
I don't care who you are. If you're in public, if more than three people are seeing your penis, it's probably 30% smaller than it normally is at most.
Yes. Yes.
Okay. Anything else from training camp? It did feel good having training camp, like guys show up.
We saw Aaron Rodgers drop what I assume was a bomb off at Packers training camp. I don't know what I reported to the FBI.
We'll see what happens there. It was good, though, just like seeing NFL writers on Twitter tweeting about scrimmages and, you know, pictures of football happening.
It's the first moment where you're like, oh, yeah, we're about to have the best stretch of the year. It's about to be fall.
It's about to be football. Something beautiful about that.
There was, there was an injury. You always hate to see it.
Ryan Jensen had, I think a left leg injury on the first day of practice or one of the first days. I don't know why coaches make players do anything even close to full speed or full contact until maybe the last two weeks of August.
If a guy like Ryan Jensen has to be running around or anything, I feel like that's just, it's a recipe for disaster. But they don't, they, they, I'm pretty sure the new rules are, you can't even do, they can't put on the pads for like at least a few days.
So that might've just been a non-contact, like unfortunate thing. Well, they didn't report anything about the players puking while they saw him.
So it probably wasn't that bad. Yeah.
Yeah. So he's probably going to be fine.
Just fine. And Julio Jones on the box.
That was something I learned this morning. I just missed.
I missed the fact because we're on vacation is the last, last show that we're on vacation, but that was cool. I was like, Oh, Julio Jones box.
That's awesome. Yeah.
I'm sure he'll be okay. I don't think that Julio's the Julio that we saw from a couple of ago.
He stunk on the Titans last year. But as an idiot that just watches, I don't break down the all 22 like I used to.
But I feel like I feel like he's gone downhill as a player. Like he didn't look explosive last year at all.
well the fact that he's 33 and he's like old and at the end of his career is just very it's like a

bummer just to think about like 33 and they're like oh he's so washed up but yeah ever since it

was he's like old and at the end of his career is just very, it's like a bummer just to think about like 33 and they're like,

Oh,

he's so washed up.

But yeah,

ever since it was,

it was the refs in that Seahawks game when they didn't count his foot in,

which he clearly was in from that moment on,

he was a non-factor for the Titans.

Yeah.

Okay.

Let's do,

let's do Mount Rushmore.

And then we have Craig Kilbourne.

And then, like I said, this is our last week of vacation. We'll be back in studio on Sunday.
Takeies were incredible. I feel like that was our best takeies yet.
People were buzzing all day about it. Congrats to all the AWLs for winning seven in a row.
Very, very well earned. All right, before we do our Mount Rushmore, Hank,

you have an ad for us.

I do, Big Cat.

Listen, guys, there are moments in life that are just absolute vibes,

like your team getting the draft pick you've been praying for

or shooting your first birdie on a par three.

Big Cat, did that happen to you yesterday?

No, I had multiple birdies.

Thank you.

And the best way to celebrate those moments is with a drink that matches the vibe.

Busy Heart Seltzer always brings the good vibes with a variety of delicious fruit flavors and antioxidant vitamin C. You guys know we love Coors Light.
We're Coors Light guys, and that hasn't changed. When I'm craving a hard seltzer, Vizzy is the one I go for.
Summertime is seltzer time. Vizzy's are vibes.
You've got to get a Vizzy. They have you covered this summer with a wide range of refreshing fruit flavors like pineapple mango, black cherry lime, strawberry kiwi, blueberry pomegranate, which is my personal favorite.
Vizzy hard seltzer is the seltzer that passes the vibe check. We're at a summer house right now.
It's vibe season. We're vibing out with Vizzy.
To find Vizzy near you, go to VizzyHardSeltzer.com slash PMT. That's VizzyHardSeltzer.com slash PMT.
And for updates on the latest flavor drops and more, sign up at VizzyHardSeltzer.com slash subscribe. You must be 21 plus.
Vibe out with some Vizzy. Okay, Mount Rushmore time.
We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of ways to say goodbye. PFT and I won the last Mount Rushmore.
Credit to us. I think we won it by like – it was a blowout.

It was an absolute blowout.

It was a bloodbath.

It was a bloodbath.

So we'll go first.

We'll have Team Honk go second,

and then we'll have Jake and Billy go third and then wrap around.

Billy, before we start, any slurs you want to get out of the way

before we get going?

Maybe we could do it beforehand.

Irish goodbye. Wait, well well that's that place yeah that does play all right well let's just get it going that's our first pick irish goodbye is our first pick there's no better goodbye than the irish goodbye when you just are you can just leave and you don't have to worry about saying goodbyes and you're just gone and it's goodbye and it's no see you later it's no awkward like standing around shaking hands you know hugging like oh we'll see you oh yeah let's meet up soon no no you're gone deal with it in the morning the next day via text message like an adult the irish goodbye is one one of goodbyes i'm part irish so i can say it Me too.
too. Irish goodbye is an elite goodbye.
Yep. Yep.
So we're good. All right.
This is an interesting Mount Rushmore, I would say. You were the one who co-signed it.
No, yeah. Not in a bad way.
It's just like I'm trying to figure out which way to go. You know, it's tough.
By the way, before PFT, before you hopped on, we were talking about the Mount Rushmore. And when we were texting earlier today asking what we should do, and Billy was like Italian food, it's because Billy's actually in Italy right now.
So it's the most literal thing he was thinking about. He was probably sitting.
He was going to give whatever he ate the last two days. Yeah, of course.
I mean, Billy's been on a trip through, I think, every micro state in Europe right now. So he was in Liechtenstein earlier this week.
he was thinking about like he was probably give whatever he ate the last course yes i mean billy's been on a trip through i think every micro state in europe right now so he was in lichtenstein earlier this week he was in andorra he goes to countries that nobody's nobody could possibly pick out on a map because he's paranoid of somebody finding him in these states like wait are you actually in italy are you in san marino or vatican city san marino okay yeah so you couldn't even you can't even tell just a regular you can't just tell a regular truth you can't just be like hey i'm in san marino you had to tell us italy for some stupid reason is that different are those different places yeah it didn't dawn on me until you were explaining that he was that he was in italy and then i started saying it out loud and it's like wait that doesn't add up because he's he's been to all these weird countries and so billy gets caught in yet another lie reset the counter i think that i think billy's actually on a streak like a calurican junior type streak of telling the dumbest possible inconsequential lies on this podcast he's incapable of just telling the truth for like when the when the truth has no repercussions he still can't give us the truth they do eat italian food in San marino though right but i said where are you and you said italy why didn't you just say san marino because it's basically italy i i don't recognize i mean micro states are such a big joke it's hilarious it's your brain is so like is so i don't know what's wrong with it is in italy technically it is in italy inside of it san marino is technically surrounded by it so it's like it it's a tiny little country but still billy you cracked so easily under cross examination there it's disturbing all right we're gonna go uh we're gonna go with you know you're at the bar you're walking out you don't even you don't dap up it's not like an irish goodbye but it's like you kind of see your friend maybe you're walking out you know with a friend or a colleague whatever maybe a girl maybe a guy if you're a girl and you just kind of give your friend a head bob and that's it like it's not irish goodbye but you don't have to go through the whole process of like dapping everyone up and hugging and stuff you just kind of walk out you just you kind of lock eyes if they don't see you they don't see you but you just give them a quick head bob as you're walking out of the bar yeah but it's the respect nod yeah if they don't see you that's an irish goodbye but in this situation they see you okay yeah so it's like all right see ya yeah it's a head yeah I sometimes practice that's that's it's the head nod it's just the sometimes i'll do uh a northern irish goodbye i guess would be what you'd call it where you like tell somebody like a good friend that you're with like hey i'm about to irish goodbye the rest of this bar but i'm letting you know yeah on your way out yeah just be like i if i if i if you don't see me it's because i left that's always a good yeah like hey i told one person so that way someone can be like hey he's not dead he actually let me know he was an irish goodbye spread the word yeah good pick good pick hank hank took also an irish goodbye with his pick no no no pretty much no No, took a head nod. Head nod.

Yeah.

No, yeah.

No words exchanged.

Yeah, but somehow they don't see it.

It's acknowledgement.

No, no, no, no.

In this situation, you guys are making up fake situations.

In the situation that I presented, it was acknowledged,

which would be the opposite of an Irish goodbye where you don't acknowledge the person.

Okay, but you said maybe they see it, maybe they don't.

So I'm just talking directly from what you said to us. No, no, no, no, no.
You said, okay. All right, Jake and Billy.
Good pick, Hank, thanks. Yeah, I know it was a great pick.
We picked it 1-1. No.
We are going to go with something. Jake, I think our ideas are a lot more coherent.
So whichever one of those. That's usually the case, Billy.
Jake. No, Billy, we're not going with any of yours.
We're going to go with something that I'm not capable of doing, but I think a lot of people are. And that's a clean dap.

What the hell? It just started playing. Me and Eric Musselman, the infamous one.
Billy, the band that goes down the gondola. He's actually in Venice.
Fuck. You lied again.
Okay. Yeah.
yeah so a clean zap is uh i'd say pretty common and popular way to say goodbye with someone and when you really make contact middle of the palm it feels yeah it's clean you walk out the door with a little pep in your step golfers are just utterly incapable of the clean dap at the end of a round it just it never happens if it's between golfers or if it's between a golfer and a caddy or two caddies,

if you're wearing spikes on a green,

you can't possibly connect with a handshake.

Yeah, but it does.

When you get it and it feels it and you feel it,

there's no better feeling.

Good pick.

Good pick.

Yeah.

Thank you.

And then our next one,

we're going to go with something that definitely moves the needle when a person of significance does it, and it's a retirement speech. You're standing at the podium.
There's tears flowing, and you never know which way the emotions are going to go. Right.
Jake, would you say that's a good way to say goodbye, to retire and bid everybody adieu, and then get your ass kicked by UNC on senior night? I think that's one way to do it. Maybe have that ceremony beforehand just in case things go wrong.
But I'm just speaking. I don't know.
Okay. Okay.
Good pick. Hank, your team's up next.
Thank you. Saying – I mean, this is where I get a little bit confused.
You co-signed this one. You thumbs up.
No, I know. It's a team game.
It's like a team game. But I actually like this pick.
I like this pick by memes. Winning a national championship as a senior.
Good one. Yeah.
Yeah. That's a good goodbye.
It's a good way to say goodbye. Good pick.
Yeah. That's a great way to say goodbye.
I'll get weird with my last two. PFT, what should we do? I think we should start getting weird, too.
We have a couple. I think the second one that we have on our list is a way to go.
Sure about that. Okay.
Yes. It's clean.
It's elegant. Yeah, you go with it.
Yeah. It's see ya.
Just good. See ya.
See is an elite way to say goodbye. I say it on the phone.
I say it in person. It's probably my number one most used goodbye.
Just see it. Not even see you later.
Just see. Hey, see ya.
Yep. Yeah.
It's just like, all right, see ya. Because you don't have to.
The word goodbye is always awkward. goodbye no it's just see ya maybe you can't say see you again yeah see ya do see again it hit different when you said it yeah see ya I'll see ya that's so good yeah Michael K signature call for the Yankees all right see ya see ya yeah okay good pick by us Hank you want to say that no Oh.
Okay. All right, see you.
See you. See you.
Yeah. Okay.
Good pick by us. Hank, you want to say that? No.
No. Okay.
All right. Our next one is going to be no goodbye, no see you later, just going to see about a girl.
So, like, kind of like an Irish exit? Yeah. Thank you.
Thank you, Billy. Thank you, Billy.
That's a good one. Billy knows.
There's no goodbye, no see you later. Just going to see about a girl.
Your friend just walks up to pick you up for the construction job, and you're just not there. Hank, are you from Boston? One day we hope that happens for Billy.
Hank, are you from Boston? Yeah. No, I'm actually from Boston.
How do you not get that reference? I do. I was Billy.
He's just a hater. He's being in hater mode.
It's my favorite movie. And he's being in hater mode because he didn't think of it.
Fine. All right.
But listen, we're going to, that's a great goodbye. That is a great goodbye.
That is a great goodbye. That's a great movie.
I'm not going to hate on it one day. I hope I walk up and you're not there anymore.
Yeah. And there's no way that Matt Damon made it across the country in that shit box of a car.
Yeah. No.

Imagine if

she just showed up and she had a boyfriend. She's like,

oh, I didn't think you were actually going to come.

No, they leave and then

she kills him. She murders

him on their trip across country. She's a psycho the entire

time. Oh, man.

Yeah. All right.
That's our pick.

All right. We're going to go with

driving off into the sunset while you split at the fork in the road while Charlie Puth plays to you again. Okay.
We actually had that on our list. That's a good pick.
Yep. Thank you.
Good pick, memes. Good pick, memes.
Great pick, memes. Great pick.
All right. Jake and Billy.
So similar to Hank, we had winning a Super Bowl. Billy, you're cutting out.
We're going to go with – Wait, wait, what are you – This is a bad bit. It's winning a Super Bowl.
I can't hear you. You just picked the first two.
I can't hear you. Winning a Super Bowl, you're frozen.
You're frozen. You're frozen.
You're frozen. Winning a Super Bowl.
I'm not frozen. Peyton Manning,

Ray Lewis, winning a Super Bowl is the

best way to go out and say goodbye. Hopefully we can get

Billy back on the show because I'm sure he's got some

fire picks. Jake, what's your pick?

Are you really guys

going to go with I love

you? I love you to a significant

other. That's a good pick, Jake.

That's a good pick.

When Billy comes back on Frozen, he's going to like that. Yeah, that's a good pick, Jake.
That's a good pick. When Billy comes back on Frozen, he's going to like that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good pick.
I think he's back. Are you back, Billy? Do we get another pick now? Yeah, but Jake just picked I love you.
So we'll just do winning a Super Bowl and I love you. Perfect.
No. You don't think winning? Is he frozen again? Yeah, Billy, you dropped out.
Yeah, I think he's frozen again. It must be that shady sand marine internet they always talk about.
My internet is cleaner than all of yours. Yeah, no, he's frozen.
All right, Jake, what's your pick? We're going to go with posting a notes app on social media to announce a career change. Oh! You're thanking everybody involved.
That is a good pick. You're thanking all of your coworkers, and you're just thanking all the fans.
A lot of people, public figures, do this, right? They say goodbye via Notes app, and it usually puts their name in the trending column. So I think it moves the needle.
I like that pick. I agree.
As far as it made it that long. Our last pick, it's our pick, right? Yes.
We're going to go with winning a winning a super bowl fuck i was about to take that i literally just yeah we had that too it's a great i was gonna say like john elway yeah this one's for john that was actually the first one they won but the second one yeah walking off on the you know on the white horse yeah payton manning payton manning when he's like at at midfield he's like I can't wait to drink a nice cold Coors Light and then he makes out with Papa John tears in my eyes that's a great one great pick great pick thank you um okay uh PFT what do we want to do for our last pick so we can go with uh we could go with the uh one with involving the water is a good one.

Mm-hmm.

I think that –

Or the last one that you sent in your initial text.

Pretty good.

Yeah, I like that one.

Let's go with that one.

Okay, go ahead.

You do it.

Saying the Lannisters send their regards.

Mm-hmm. And they're just killing him killing that was my favorite part of uh season seven uh knife knife knife knife knife just knife everywhere that is a crazy way it's a great goodbye slit yeah yeah um like i've never killed anyone but i imagine that if i did i i wouldn't have the cool like steel uh mentality to say something witty and appropriate and like biting right before i did it i would just panic and then try to do it and probably miss yes yes yes it's just a great a great way to say goodbye and then just kill everyone all right uh we had on our honorable mentions um we didn't get to it but we would have probably been clown for it but just giving a good old one love one on your way out i like to say it on the phone i like to say yeah i like to say kind of as a joke say it a lot.
So it's like a joke type of thing.

Similarly, peace out, just peace.

Yep.

Peace out's good.

Peace is good.

I like peacing out on people.

I don't like saying peace, but I do like peacing out.

Waving goodbye from the deck of a ship is good too.

I had don't do anything I wouldn't do, but like that's so corny.

But I also kind of like to say that sometimes like as a joke,

but it's not as a joke because I say it so much.

Here were some more cornier picks.

See you later, alligator.

I mean.

In a wild crocodile.

Yeah.

Catch you on the flip side, you know.

See you when I see you is a kind of a longer see you.

But, you know, like, hey, I'll see you when I see you.

What about smell you later? Or just smell. Yeah.
One shining moment. Yep.
One shining moments. Good.
Goodbye. Um, cheerio.
What about, what about on the, on the phone with Dave when he just like, okay. And then hangs up.
All right. All right.
Every conversation I've ever had with him in my entire life has always ended like that. All right.
Hang up. It's actually nice though, because you don't have to do like the long drawn out, like, all right, see you later.
God, goodbye. Like, blah, blah.
It's all right. Cool.
What about quitting? Just being like, I quit and then, yeah, that's a pretty good one too. Yeah.
I mean i mean i had like a the one i was kind of confused about too is like i had like a kind of emotional one but it's like if you're if you're like saying goodbye to a loved one or like an animal or something it's like doing something that you guys enjoy doing together one last time yeah no that's mount flushmore for sure i I also had just in terms of animal goodbyes,

like if you're leaving your dog with somebody for a long weekend and you're going on a trip and you walk away and you turn back

and they're looking at you like, what are you doing to me?

That's a terrible goodbye.

I hate that goodbye.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's a bad goodbye.

That is definitely a bad goodbye.

What about for good goodbyes scoring 60 points because was was it the Raptors just didn't want to play defense? Was it the Raptors? The Jazz. It was the Jazz.
The Jazz just didn't want to play defense. That's a good good bye.
That game was fucking awesome. Yeah, it was.
That's what I'm saying. It was an all-time good bye.
60 points at home on your way out. I mean, Jeter too, his goodbye.

Didn't he hit the walk-off single, like a bloop single?

Yeah.

Wasn't that his goodbye?

Re-to-pecked.

Jeter?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What about taking out a full-page ad?

Mm.

That's like the grandfather of the notes app, goodbye. Yeah.
People used just buy buy ads and newspapers to say thank you to a city what about just a hug yeah hug what about a mount flushmore goodbye if uh i'm i'm deleting my twitter and then being like i i don't know like i think this place is toxic i'm deleting it only to come back like two weeks two weeks later like a chrissy te That's definitely a mountain. Oh, I mean, Taylor Luan did that.
We'll see how long he lasts. I'm curious how long the over-under goes for that.
That was also very funny. Shout out to the boys, but like right in Will's face, being like, hey, that podcast we co-host, I'm out.
The next six months. There are a lot of people on like political Twitter that are like, you know what? This website is is polluting how i think i need to sign off because it's making me too angry and my family hates me and then like two hours later they're quote tweeting a cnn article being like this is beyond the pale of democracy sir i can't believe this is happening i had to pop on to signal boost this okay see you later gonna gonna get some cigarettes and milk yeah that would have Speaker 1 00, been a good pick really that was a good pick i wish your internet was working earlier i was silenced um saying a2 brutus as you're bleeding out on the roman steps great one yeah yeah i'm sorry i don't have the san marina accent that you do billy sorry if i was silent my my internet cut out that was why i was silent after your last thing you said pft yeah that wasn't intentional no it's okay everybody else laughed raucously so it was good nice fuck yes hell yes for the boys um all right that was pretty good about rushmore right yeah oh what about a long kiss goodbye that's a good one a big, big, big smooch.
Yeah. Just a real sensual.
Yeah. Tongues, tongues deep in each other's throats.
Tonsile hockey. Maybe a little dip.
Yeah. Sometimes you get, you get a little too horny on the deep long kiss and then you have to walk away with a semi.
That's a little bit awkward. Yeah.
Everyone's like, whoa, look at that guy. He's got, he's all chubbed up as he walks in there yeah that famous picture of uh you know like victory in europe day when the when the sailor's kissing in the middle of times square people don't realize that right after that he just had a rock-hard boner walking down the street everyone's like dude put your boner away you're on 42nd ave what are you doing wasn't even his girlfriend and also he didn't know that woman and just assaulted her probably yeah well times are different wasn't even his girlfriend it was another the dude in the background's girlfriend that's tough oh really yeah there's the guy whose boyfriend no the guy whose girlfriend that is in the picture is behind them in the photo walking towards them imagine imagine being that dude and and you're already mad because your girlfriend cheated on you.

And you're like, okay, we can work through this.

It was just a kiss.

You didn't know what was going to happen, whatever.

Let's just try to forget it.

And the next day, the cover of the New York Times

is your girlfriend making out with that guy.

And then like 40 years from then,

it's like being sold as fine art at every Target in America.

Actually, they might still be married.

That poor bastard.

Let me look it up. Yeah.
They're probably dead. My guess is they're dead.
They're very much dead. I mean, don't have to be dead, but most likely dead.
If you're just playing the odds here, they'd both be probably close to 100 years old. But who knows? All right, let's get to Craig Kilbourne, and then we'll do fire fest on the other side craig kilborn is brought to you by our friends at hooters what goes great with wings more wings today is national wing day oh today's national wing day let's get some wings yes talk uh we love wings it's it's national wing day gotta get wings on national wing day so head on over to your local Hooters and celebrate.
Today only get 10 free boneless wings when you buy 10 wings any style. They're just giving you 10 free boneless wings.
That's a great deal because it's like getting the regular wings is the move, but then 10 free boneless on top, that's just a bank error in your favor. So head to Hooters.com right now for more info.
Today only, National Wing Day. Get 10 free boneless wings when you buy 10 wings any style.
Thank you to Hooters for raising awareness that today is National Wing Day. Okay, here he is, Craig Kilbourne.
Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest, probably the classiest man we've ever had on the podcast. It is Sir Craig Kilbourne.
He has a new podcast out. It's called Craig Kilbourne, The Life Gorgeous.
You can find it on YouTube. You can find it wherever you find podcasts.
He's joining us from his studio, which I actually before when we were texting times i asked him uh what time works for you and i was like how about eight o'clock eastern he's like five five p.m pacific works but my mahogany panel den gets really hot by five but i can handle it so this is a gritty showing by you i just want to set the stage for the people i'll be showering in a moment but no the sun hits it it's a 1923 home i do like old homes i like i like having martinis in historic locations historic restaurants and bars and it's so it's warm in here but not it's i have a i have a fan on right now and that's my conquistador lamp that i've had for years okay it's nice the uh the lighting that you have right now is exceptionally warm as well i it's warm and comforting yeah and i want people to feel good about themselves yeah this is cozy what is the classiest establishment you've ever had a martini in great question i'm only allowed I i'm only allowed three great questions uh let's see uh there's a restaurant there's a there's a bar restaurant up in san francisco it's currently closed it's been closed a while but it's at the knob hill in san francisco it's across from the fairmont it's called the huntington hotel it's called the big four restaurant and bar it's paneled and it's named after the four railroad barons like leland stanford and they had stanford university from him and everything but it's uh historic and they have a piano bar there and i like to have a one of those small martini glasses they're actually called nick and nora glasses they're smaller martini glasses and i like to wear a sport coat and go there big cat you have a sport coat you've had a drink before yeah i mean this is i i like to see like sitting in a room that's named after the the railroad tycoons that right there is class yeah yeah and i i have to say your instagram is phenomenal i i've been following it for a few years now we'll get into everything else but like your instagram when you put out videos of you drinking martinis and walking on beaches and old cars i feel classier just by watching that yeah it's it's surprisingly it's one of my favorite things i've done is my instagram i'm enjoying it and there's some uh i'm not going to name drop but there's some prominent comedians who who I don't really know what they follow it. And my friends know them and they say, does he really wear ascots? When's he serious? And just to let you know, I've never worn an ascot outside of my house, but I do.
I wear them around the house. I'm just goofing off, man.
I don't know. Yeah, it's classy.
So, alright, so the big question is, the

podcast and the Instagram,

you know, your career has been

fascinating, you know, you were

so incredible in the

late 90s on SportsCenter and then

the Late Late Show, and then you kind of

walked away from all of it for a while.

Why now

are you coming back? Like, what is

the reason for you to be like, hey, you know what, the world is ready for more craig kilburn decent question uh okay i like this great every question i like this no no i i was going to do a podcast 10 years ago but i didn't want anyone to my house so i waited and now after covid you can do a zoom and now you can do it and i used to joke i wanted to

be the only man in america without a podcast and now i'm the last guy in america with a podcast but i joined my instagram mainly for my nieces because they in case they wanted to think i was their uncle was funny but uh the the instagram was so positive and by the way big cat you you were you you promoted me on uh twitter yeah and i and i messaged you i said thanks and then you said i grew up i don't know if you said grew up watching you i'm a couple years older than you i'm not that much older than you uh i just turned 40 but uh but but no i i think it's cool that you uh i used to watch the uh the kilbourne shows that's pretty cool yeah i mean i i grew up the the feel-good edition of sports oh yeah was my favorite i mean i used to i remember um you know sometimes my my dad and i would sit down watch your shows laugh at the it was like a real bonding moment it's one of the points where like i truly began to love sports watching your commentary on it. So yeah, I think Big Cat and I are both big fans.
And then going to the Daily Show, I used to love watching you on ESPN first. That was my introduction.
Is there any guy on ESPN that you were exceptionally close with? Let's see. We all got along.
I mean, it was a really fun time uh it was funny because there was a producer there named scott ackerson who later went to uh fox nfl and he produced the terry bradshaw the pregame show on fox which was so funny but scott ackerson had this great line uh he used to work at local tv and he said to me because i didn't think the people we all got along at ESPN and there was some competition, but we all got along. And Scott Ackerson said, the biggest egos I ever saw were local TV because the local TV guys, they all want to do their, you know, resume tape and go to the big market.
They want to go from Rockford to Chicago and they want to do, you know, and it was just funny, but let's see let's see, who do I, I used to work with Carl Ravitch and Brett Haver. I was very close with Dan, Dan and Keith.
And then I, everyone was nice. Berman, Robin Roberts was really cool.
And, uh, then some of the good people that I didn't even work with, I just, I just interviewed two people from ESPN. One I'm Ryan Rosillo.illo i know him pretty well and he's going to be he

might be my first guest uh on the podcast uh he's gonna tank your ratings yeah just a heads up yeah he's he's he's very research that yeah he's he's um he's poison yeah he you're you're probably this this podcast is doomed if rusillo is your first he's going to talk about chris paul for three hours. Oh, wow.
We already recorded it, and he went 245 on Chris Paul. He's a good friend of ours.
He's great. Yeah.
You got to go down to his house in Manhattan Beach. He'll wear the shortest shorts for you and show you his balls the whole time.
Okay. We have a story.
We have a connection. Yeah.
What you just said i almost i've been down there and as soon as i parked and i he came out and said yeah just park there i said are you gonna put on a shirt or not i mean i know you're buff i know you're buff thank god i didn't see the short shorts i mean what's the story is it because he's built that way he just likes to show off he got it flaunt it yeah i think he just like he he sees any uh any guests coming to his house as an invitation it's like okay they're coming to see my house then i'm comfortable showing them the goods like he thinks that that's the real tour yeah it's like okay you can check out the den or you can just look at my pecs for 30 minutes well interestingly so i mean i literally just interviewed him it's either going to be uh michelle beetle or ryan on the first show uh because i just recorded them and they're editing them right now but uh he he didn't uh i like martinis and i like martini glasses and i swear to god i don't even know if he had a martini glass or he didn't have vodka or something. Because he drinks, I think he drinks tequila and I brought some red wine.
But I don't know, man. What do you young people drink now? Because when I was in my 30s, I used to drink Gimlets, which have the roses, lime juice, but I don't like all that sugar.
So now I just go martini or red wine. What do you guys do? We're Coors Light.
Coors Light sponsored podcast. I like Coors Light or any margarita that has like an upside down beer bottle in it.
I like those too. Okay.
A little less classy. I'm like the junkyard version of the worst part of your brain.
Well, I used to drink in my 30s single malt scotch, but I love it. But now I do it only at like Christmas time, but that's a good Christmas drink.
I'm going to get, I'm going to get some martinis. I feel like that's a later in life kind of drink.
Yeah. I mean, they're ice cold.
They're beautiful. I go vodka.
So I'm a lot of people go gin. I like vodka and I like the whole ritual of the shaking.
And I do, I've mentioned about three times. I like the martini glass, the shape of it, but, uh, I do like talking about drinking, but I do, I talk about drinking in moderation cause I've cut way down.
And, uh, I gotta, you want to hear a funny thing. It just happened today.
There was a friend of mine who has a, who he's a, he's probably an alcoholic, but, um, uh, and I say he's an acquaintance, but, but he told me, I met him recently. At a bar.
No, he's like 38, and he said, he has to stop drinking, because his liver, he started drinking at an early age, and he abuses it, so his liver's really bad, and he had something called a fibro scan, which I have never heard of, but as soon as I heard that, I said, I want to see if all those years of drinking affected my liver. So I've got a fibro scan and it's an ultrasound and they put a little cream on there and they do an ultrasound.
They check your liver and you also do a blood test. And I got the results.
Actually, today, I went to the doctor. He emailed me the results, but I couldn't see him for a month.
And he said, everything's good, Craig. Everything's fine.
I said, really? He goes, yeah, you have no fibrosis of the liver and you're fine and there's no enzymes. It's actually one of the best tests I've ever seen.
and i laughed i laughed really hard i said well that's because you do a bunch of old people he goes no your liver is better than a lot of better than a lot of 30 year olds whoa so we're going out tonight man yeah this is this is like you're dipping into to trump territory he's never seen a liver like yours the best liver he's ever seen oh that is funny he's also kind of like

underhandedly calling you a pussy yeah he's like yeah yeah drink more true that's a good point you guys yeah you guys cut through the crap so yeah let's talk about the timbrels because anthony edwards is electric i think everyone loves him nationally everybody goes crazy he is unbelievable I watch every game, 82 games.

He's inconsistent right now, but he's unbelievable.

Right. him nationally everybody goes crazy he is unbelievable just i watch all get every game 82 games he's inconsistent right now but he's unbelievable right and nationally everyone has a problem with cat and cat is his shooting touch is ridiculous but okay so here's the problem and i think it's it just is very basic in that Cat is a big guy

and his game is soft sometimes down low.

And now I know it's a mean thing to say.

He's soft.

It is.

He doesn't play.

He junked on Joel Embiid.

He sometimes pushes off and gets an offensive foul.

He's not soft.

I mean, I guess a guy like Embiid, these guys can't guard him. Jokic can't guard him and Embiid can't guard him.
Now, he has trouble guarding them. Now we have Rudy Gobert.
Right. So I think that's actually the, like, I love the Rudy Gobert signing or trade.
I don't think Rudy Gobert, like, there's clearly problems because you can't, like, offensively he's a zero at times in the playoffs, and that causes a big problem. But I do think that Cat having Rudy Gobert there is going to help him a lot, and now Cat doesn't have to guard all those guys.
And when I say soft, I don't mean he's soft like anyone who's in the NBA is not soft because of the work it takes to get there. I'm thank you.
Would you not agree that sometimes down low you're like, dude, you're bigger than these guys. Just fucking take it to them.
Well, they, they, listen, they used to criticize KG for not posting up like Tim Duncan, but he doesn't have the same body as Tim Duncan. He doesn't have the same hips as Tim Duncan.
And then KG of course can guard everybody on the perimeter because he's such a great defender i i haven't seen he has an automatic jump hook cat does when he's down low um i mean there are a couple highlights where he got muscled down low but i think they they play him nationally he bothers people for some reason maybe he's quirky or whatever he's goofy he's goofy he's a he's a goofy guy right by the way chris finch the head coach who we all love finchie had this term for cat he came up with it so cat will drive he likes to drive he'll get the ball he'll fake the three-pointer and drive and dunk or lay it in and fall down he falls down a lot and finchie calls it uh uh stray voltage cat has stray voltage he'll just go down the lane and do this stuff but we all locally we all thought that was very funny because cat has that crazy energy sometimes when he drives and falls down yeah but i love him i mean the guy shot 54 his first three years in the nba he shoots over 40 from three he puts a lot of stress on the defense. So I love them.
I mean, the guy shot 54% his first three years in the NBA. He shoots over 40% from three.
He puts a lot of stress on the defense. So I love him.
What about Pat Bev? Are you going to miss Pat Bev? It felt like he gave you guys a nice little spark. He did.
He played well. There was this guy.
His name was Larry Miller. He was the old owner of the Utah Jazz.
He's passed away. But he said, I don't want to win a with dennis rodman so he there are certain players you don't want to have on your team for certain owners and stuff and as a fan pat bev was a little too crazy for me but he played he played extremely well yeah the guy that's mercurial is is an inconsistent streak he's d-low yeah he he's a streak he's a streak shooter man but you need guys like that.
You need guys who can get hot and carry you for a quarter. So what would you say, like we saw last year, I feel like that was a good first step for a young team.
What is a success next year for the Timberwolves? I'm saying it. Great question.
Great question. They had 46 wins last year and they felt you know they were they were talking for a year and a half to try to get miles turner from the pacers for to play alongside cat and then they talked about clint capella nobody thought rudy gobert was available but now that Vegas already has about, I think 50 wins.

So I'm going to say 50 because, you know, the West, the Wolves caught a break with Kawhi being out. The Blazers were down.
The Lakers. Lakers.
Zion was not playing. So they caught a break.
So if if they stood pat they were concerned that they might struggle to get to the playing game which was the seventh seed that's what they were so i'm i'm hoping 50 wins 50 wins feels feels doable but i mean you you've been in this game long enough you know how it goes they get 51 52 wins and they lose in the first round and then everybody's like what's wrong withwolves? At that point, like the regular season goes out the window and we start calling them choke artists.

That's what we have to do.

That's our job.

You don't have to.

You can suck it up and just say the other team is better.

I will want to do that, though.

Yeah, the media has to be colorful and say choke and suck

and all that kind of stuff. You're taking food out of our mouths here, Craig.
Well, that's okay. I want to call them a fraud.
We like the takes. You got to have the takes.
Are we able to swear on? I don't swear. Yeah.
I don't swear. You can swear.
I don't swear. I'm saying I don't swear.
I have a, I have a, I don't't know if we'll get i don't know if we'll get to it i was thinking about it i have this um i have a great story and i have to work blue for a second uh or dirty for a second but i don't know if we're going to get to it but it's a clint eastwood story but if we i don't know where where this go for it let's go conversation is going well it has to has to happen naturally talking about movies or something yeah my next question was going to be on on the t wolves like if you were to look at the starting line i'm gonna say who's the good who's the bad who's the ugly of of that who would you assign to those categories yeah no i had that written down he did i saw it oh really well it's a segment that we do it's like five questions the good the bad. Yeah.
Jade McDaniels is really good. He's he's a start.

He might start. I did.
I saw it. Oh, really? It's a segment that we do.
It's like five questions. The good, the bad, the ugly.

Jayden McDaniels is really good. He might

start over...

We got that guy from

Memphis, Anderson, the

forward, the slow-mo guy.

But, you know, D'Lo

plays the point, and

Ant plays the two guard,

and then Jayden McDaniels, and then Cat's going to play the four. Rudy's going to play the five.
They're all good. They're all none of them are ugly.
You guys you guys ever seen Dirty Harry? Yeah. Yeah.
Who's in that? I'll just tell the story. I have to figure out the word I want to use, but I'll figure it out.
So my favorite place in the world is Carmel, California. I used to live up there.
I don't know if you know where it is, where Pebble Beach is. I was there a month ago.
I hated it. How come? I was at a wedding and everyone got COVID.
No, I actually loved it. It was great, but everyone did get COVID.
But it was a great place. Were you in Carmel? Did you go down to the beach? Yeah, we were at the beach then we were in the valley the whole thing it was it was unbelievable went to pebble beach for lunch it was great okay so it's one of the most beautiful places in the world i lived in the village of carmel by the sea for three years i did local tv in monterey and then i went to espn and uh clint eastwood was the mayor there in the 80s he he lives there clint eastwood lives there he did a movie called play misty for me in carmel back in the late 60s i believe anyways maybe 71 but anyways so i'll quickly tell my story um so i'm at espn then i go to comedy central daily show and it's different i have a makeup person a wardrobe person and then my producer says i got somebody who will cut your hair he's in midtown go down there it's in midtown so i go there and this gay uh hairdresser is cutting my hair and inevitably we talk about you know i i miss california i said i used to live in carmel he goes carmel well clint eastwood was the mayor there he has a 12 inch dick i said oh he actually said he actually said c and then ock that's the word he is okay yeah okay so i said oh that's interesting and and then uh i had uh when i worked at carmel i lived the local news anchor dina she was at the other station but we were friends she ended up marrying clintwood.
There was a 30 year age difference and she married him and they were married for like 19 years. And she's a friend of mine.
So the next time I talked to her, I told her this story about the hairdresser. And she said, that's very funny.
That's not true, but that's very funny. Fast forward six months.
Dina calls, says Clint and I are in Manhattan. Do you want to go have dinner with us? I said, absolutely.
So we go down there and we're down at Nobu downtown. I'm sitting there.
And then to my left is Alison Eastwood, his daughter, who I became friends with, and she did my show later on CBS. And then it's Clint across from me and then Dina across from Alison.
And then is William Morris agent. The last thing I'm going to do is talk too much around Clint Eastwood.
But halfway through the dinner, I said, hey, man, I said, hey, I didn't say man. I said, hey, my dad and I love the movie where Eagles dare with Richard Burton.
Did he drink a lot? And he said, yeah, I could match him with beer, but he was chasing it with scotch and i couldn't keep up with him and then i did paint your wagon with lee marvin and i thought all actors were luscious because he was a drinker so my one question clint just starts talking and then dina says i told him about the hairdresser and i said don't we have any secrets and Clint said, he was an inch off. That's great.
In which direction? Yeah, right. I know.
He didn't say, man. He didn't say.
And then Dina got him on the CBS show. I got to interview him.
It was great. We're going to get back to Craig Kilbourne in a second, but before we do, he's brought to you by our great friends over at Roman.
Testosterone affects a lot of aspects of men's fitness and health, from sex drive to muscle and bone mass. The experts believe testosterone plays a huge role in our body's natural function, but men's testosterone starts to deplete with age, which is why it's important that you support it early.
Roman T-Support is meant to help men maintain their body's natural testosterone production with a proprietary supplement formulated by Roman's in-house doctors. Roman T-Support contains a blend of six nutrients, including ashwagandha to help support healthy testosterone levels and magnesium to support muscular health.
Roman T support is not testosterone replacement therapy.

It's not meant to treat people with testosterone deficiency syndrome, but it will help you go to get Roman.com slash PMT to get $15 off your first order of Roman T support. That's get Roman.com slash PMT, get Roman.com slash PMT.
And now Craig Kilborn. So your, your career is fascinating.
I know that you probably had the questions before, but like when you did step away, what was the thought process? Because I actually love anyone who's like, you know, at the height or a success and like, you know what? I don't want to do this right now. And also sidebar was your agent at the time, like so furious.
Like, what the yeah yeah well yeah well one of the conflicts of interest was i had the same agent as letterman and letterman on the show but um my thought process was i'm doing the 12 30 i now have no desire to do the 11 30 and you're supposed to want to move up but to me it was it was a headache. And I'll tell you why you had to tiptoe around the guests.
And then it became too much talking of politics. I'm I'm kind of apolitical.
I'm a registered independent. I work in Hollywood.
You're obviously going to work with a bunch of liberals. And I just you had to start talking about politics on the air.
And that bothered me. I didn't think that show was set up for victory.
I thought it was more of a just kind of in place, a place setter. And it was just there.
And and but the main reason was creatively, I lost interest. I always say that because if I creatively wanted to do it, I just put up with all the silliness and do it.
You just put up with it because it's fun. But creatively, I didn't want, I was bored with late night comedy with Paris Hilton jokes, which are now Kim Kardashian jokes.
And, uh, and I have this weird, quirky,

aristocratic sensibility that's on my Instagram. And I always felt, I always felt there was a

character I could play in a scripted television series. That's what I felt.
But, uh, it was a very liberating decision to walk away it was i mean it's one of the happiest days

you was a character i could play in a scripted television series that's what i felt but uh it was a very liberating decision to walk away it was i mean it's one of the happiest days of my life i know and i people don't understand it but that's fine but some people get it no i i i definitely understand it and i also yeah there's something that's uh i don't know it's just the most people watch us or you or whoever and they're like that's the dream job why would you ever walk away from it well not understanding there's other parts that are involved in it and what you said about the creative pro like not being creatively uh like stimulated yeah and stimulated enthralled with it why yeah why wouldn't you walk away that's that's an incredibly powerful decision to make yeah it was it was a. It was what I wanted to do.
I watched Johnny Carson a lot. I worship Letterman like everybody did in my 20s when I was in my 20s.
But I guess I got it out of my system. I did it and it wasn't all it was cracked up to be.
I'm grateful I did it and I really enjoyed walking away. And it's funny because when you do, I mean, I'm sure you guys are controversial in your own way.
I was controversial. I was jokingly self-absorbed and all this kind of stuff.
And so when I was doing the show, some people loved me and some people hated me. And then when you walk away, a new group of people hate you for walking away.
Like who the hell do you think you are? But it uh but it's it's it's very relaxing i mean you can see i mean i still have blonde hair great there's no stress man there's no stress yeah i think i tell you about my liver best liver you've ever seen i think a lot of people can relate to the fact that we've all had bad jobs and the day that you walk away from a job that you don't like is actually the best day of your life like you said like i remember where i was when i quit my most hated job and i was driving away and i was just smiling i was like looking at the office building i'm like this feels why did i do this you know six months a year ago oh yeah the whole like paycheck thing that was kind of nice but you know what i'm saying right right it's it's a good feeling to kind of know in that moment that you made the right decision and i understand what you're saying about especially late night comedy it's so uh it's so segmented and it can it can be so routine sometimes where it's like okay here's your monologue you get to do a bit and then the the celebrity interviews are either hit or miss and sometimes they feel so transactional it's somebody that you've never met before never spoken with might not ever speak uh with again and they like set you up with their anecdotes that they want to tell and all that it it seems like there's not a whole lot of room for creative freedom as much as you know david letterman made it look like the easiest thing in the world in the 80s and 90s but that's not always the reality yeah the uh i feel like sometimes they have to fill an hour it's it's filling an hour and it's the comedy's hit and miss and then and then sometimes the the interviews you know some of the interviews are great i had great interviews and it's very satisfying but uh i don't really watch it anymore so i don't pay attention i do listen to some podcasts and uh i i'm surprised at this success of podcasts because everyone says they were a short attention span society but podcasts are not short attention span man they're they're long no i think that's also um like the key to a good podcast and i'm you know i I guess I'll say that we have a good podcast.

It's shown over years is like, you want to feel like you're just hanging out with the people that are hosting the show. And so there's definitely some passive listening where I'm sure people will, you know, tune out or forget they're even listening, but there's something about like being able to hang out with people that you like or find funny or want to hear what they're talking about, that you can't do in any other medium.
You can't really do that on TV or radio because radios every 10 minutes there's a commercial break or you take callers or whatever it may be. And just speaking from listening to podcasts myself, I always find that.
You get drawn to the people you want to be friends with. friends with right right i was going to say when you were telling the story about driving away and from the quitting the job and you felt amazing i um when i quit the cbs job i was so euphoric i just said if i play the lottery tomorrow i will win i mean i was like so you're in the zone yeah i was in the zone it was hilarious it was it was just like and my girlfriend at the time was like she comes over with champagne she goes i can't believe you did it you told me you would i said what do you why do you think i said it you know i just didn't think you were gonna actually do it yeah yeah you're actually like you've quit some great jobs yeah that takes.
You left ESPN. You left SportsCenter.
You left The Daily Show. I think that surprised a lot of people at the time because I loved you when you were hosting The Daily Show.
Thank you. What was the impetus for that? Why did you decide, okay, I've taken this show as far as I want to take it? Well, I wanted to back then in the 90s, there was a big difference between network and cable.
In fact, The Daily Show was replacing Bill Maher's show because he was jumping to ABC. So I wanted to do a network show.
I wanted to do a traditional late night show, not a news parody. The The Daily Show was a half hour.
The interviews were four minutes. Also, and we're not getting into this today.
I haven't really talked about it. The Daily Show was easily the most dysfunctional place I've worked because the network set it up the wrong way.
They hired the executive producer first and then they hired me second. And so it was very dysfunctional.
I just ignored it and scored on the air and got out of there. But I wanted to do a traditional network show.
I wanted to get the hell out of there. And I wanted to get the hell out of ESPN as well because I wanted to do a traditional network show.
It was I wanted to get the hell out of there. So the and I wanted to get the hell out of ESPN as well because I wanted to do a late night show.
So the only one that for me was the, you know, crazy one to walk away from or whatever was the CBS one. But I I enjoyed it.
What how long after you walked away from the CBS show? Like, I would imagine there was phone calls. I imagine there's people being like hitting your agent up and hitting you up being like hey Craig we want you to do this what was there any that you want like that you're like no that you ever think back of like oh that'd be weird if I did that that'd be cool uh no I mean the the thing is I was I wrote a sitcom and sold it there were a couple sitcoms sitcoms are like hit or miss like if you if you know like like ted danson did cheers then it took him forever he did becker it they're like hitting the lottery themselves when it when a scripted show works they develop all these sitcoms then one of it one of them goes and it's a long process so i i sold one to abc and then we wrote it and it didn't go to pilot but as far as talk shows there were there were i mean i could tell you some of them like there was uh fox said you want to do something at saturday night uh going up against saturday night live i said no i don't want to do that um i don't want to and then what else was interesting there was something else i think there were some daytime things that uh and then there was another one that was very interesting and i can't remember i mean msnbBC, but that's before they were political.
They just I think they had McEnroe doing a show. There was another.
Yeah. They asked you to host.
What's the comic? What's that show? The stand up comic show. I can't last comic standing.
Yeah, that. Yeah, exactly.
They asked me to host that. But there was another another good.
Oh, the Comedy Central people had another network called Spike at the time. And they said, we want you to do a talk show on Spike.
So I there were there were opportunities. But I was like, I was just like, I either want to do what I want to do, which is some kind of scripted character.
my favorite sitcom is fraser and i some kind of you know white collar character i i would i would play and and so i didn't really want to do a talk show if that makes sense yeah yeah you should do uh like a cooking show but instead of top chef you're the judge and it's just guys making you drinks just like classy oh classy

cocktail top liver yeah can you kill kreg kilburn's liver let's uh let's produce it let's get it going we'll have a meeting next week okay i love it do people i'd imagine you still get recognized every now and then from old school even though it was a brief uh you know cameo it was a memorable one do you still have every now and then

people being like oh old school

we'll give you a dollar if you don't say good talk at the end of this podcast no i'm just getting rid of this other question see out there okay it's an all-time line it's an all-time line no no it's it was no it was fun it was uh that was a fun scene good talk to see out there yeah it was so funny uh that was a that was a fun movie uh yeah people recognize me from that all the time and and from all the shows and they're very nice bartenders are my favorite people in the world man i have a i don't know how much time you spend in california but so i live in la but i have a vacation home out in the palm springs area i don't know if you've been out in the desert but there are a bunch of community there's a there's a place called Palm Desert and Indian Wells where they have tennis and Coachella and La Quinta and so I have a little place out there and there's a lot of live music and a lot of you know cool bars and restaurants and it's just it's fun to go out there yeah yeah no that is a great place i've been out there once and i loved it we drove through southern california we we drove to the super bowl last year so okay the last part of that trip was going through the california desert it's it's actually stunningly beautiful correct because it's a place that you you don't really see that much on television or travel shows it's it's a gorgeous desert yeah sinatra had a place there uh there's this there's this uh kind of kitschy place uh called melvin's in palm springs at this hotel and they have sinatra napkins it's just hilarious uh but but uh you guys went to the the sofi and i've never been there because i my friend we didn't go we didn't go oh i thought you drove there no we went to super bowl week we actually didn't go to the super bowl we don't do it's a little pros trip trick okay uh going to the actual super bowl it's better to watch it on tv and then we have we have to podcast right after so it's like i say that's smart yeah we don't go to a lot of football games because we're just yeah i had a friend who went to the rams against brady and tampa bay regular game, and he said it took him an hour and a half to get home. I just don't like the traffic going to these games.
Yeah. Agreed.
NFL is one of those sports that it's 10 times better to watch at home. You get to watch – because you also want to see what else is going on in the league.
You don't want to just sit there and watch one game. The NFL is in trouble, I think, in terms of, like, ticket sales.
They're going to start building smaller stadiums, I think, in the future.

Because the cat's out of the bag.

Your couch is 10 times more comfortable than going to a stadium.

I got to tell you, so I get offered to go to NBA games.

Hey, someone just walked by.

Is that normal?

Yeah, yeah.

That was Bubba.

Should I do that with my podcast, how people walk by and make it look like like i'm important someone should just serve you a martini halfway through the podcast so i've never paid for an nba ticket and i don't think i ever will okay but and i don't really want this to be repeated for the nba league pass i would pay anything yeah i have i have to watch those games. Yeah so i think it's like i think it's 300 bucks i don't know what it is but don't tell adam silver but if it was higher i would pay higher i'd agree i agree i i have it like i do the double i pay i think i pay for it on my phone and then also for regular cable so i can watch it on my tv but yeah you can have one account and log into both yeah but i'll teach you i'm stupid yeah i'm stupid like that i do that with mlb as well all right so craig this has been great i had one last question by the way you're gonna have to come back on whenever uh a minnesota team does well that will you will be now you will be our minnesota uh sports guy so that will be good absolutely i love it man all right so my last question is the Roback question.
R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com. A man of your leisure should be wearing Roback.
Great. Q-Zips, hoodies, lightweight hoodies would be great on the beach.
Yeah. Great in Carmel.
So use code TAKE for 20% off your first purchase. Great.
Roback.com. Thank tough question to answer but I'm going to ask it anyway if Craig Kilbourne was starting his career again and he had social media like it is today so social media existed in 1995 or whatever how do you think it would have gone differently because I've seen what you've done with social media your humor would have fit so perfectly with twitter and instagram do you think it would have been like oh my god this guy is is the funniest guy in the world or how do you think or would you been canceled would you have done something stupid no that's a great question that's a question i think that was the third great question yeah yeah that was a great one um And i used to late night the guys used to some of the critics called me the natural host and then all my friends of course they like to call me the natural host it's kind of fun but since i walked away they all these other my friends call me underrated host underrated host but a lot of people said craig if youtube was as big as it is now when you guys when you put those on there, Sebastian, the asexual icon and Yombo and five questions, blah, blah, blah.
So it would have been, yeah, it would have been a bigger thing, man. Cause we had some, what we call repeatable comedy bits.
We had some really good comedy bits. Yeah.
And, uh, we had, uh, recreate a press photo. We take a press photo of Rick Fox hugging Phil Jackson.
And then we had our stage manager be Phil Jackson.son we had rick fox on the show and he'd hug him and we do split screen we did all this crazy stuff man yeah it was great it's it's i i tend to agree that like a lot of your humor and what you did would have translated even better in today's day yeah yeah were you that's a great question did i say yeah it's very strong appreciate that were you uh were you a little bit pissed off that john stewart stole moment of zen from you no not at all i uh i think the moment of zen i think uh we had that i think a writer came i can't remember who came up with that i did i was able to take five questions and dance dance dance a moment for us that's all i cared about yeah and uh that's uh it's called intellectual property the five questions people grooved on that there were a couple guests that said i can't play if they didn't want to be embarrassed but that's okay i can't name names name one name clint eastwood ah yeah i tell you the fifth question for clint eastwood was uh and finally i want you to squint because it's sunny and then squint because you're angry so we wanted to see the different squints because that's all he does when he acts he squints squint because it's sunny and squint because let's see the difference uh no hallie berry was really cool she was beautiful and she said craig i don't want to play i said fine yeah she was cool yeah i mean your your wit is intimidating yeah some of those questions i mean you never know in life where there's a gap you know where there's a gap like not everyone knows geography or some people don't know math there might be something we should know you know because there there there are stories that we don't follow there's movies we haven't seen mean, I could tell you guys I've never seen an episode of Friends,

but that would piss you off

or maybe you'd be proud of me.

But there are things I haven't seen

that I'm supposed to see.

Yeah, I mean, you thought Kellen Mond

was going to be a good quarterback.

Well, I was just...

Like, that's exactly what you're saying.

Oh, wait, wait.

Do you have Chris Sims on your show ever?

We have had him on once, yes.

Okay.

He likes Kellen Mond. He had him rated ahead of Justin Fields.
Oh, shit. All right.
Well, I walked into that one. Okay.
That was a great interview. Listen, you can't hurt me more than I've been hurt when it comes to Bears quarterbacks.
Let me just ask you, is he going to be good? Because the Vikes wanted to trade up for him, but they low-balled it, so they didn't. And then the Bears snuck, you know, they got him.
Is he going to be good? He is going to be the perfect test case of if he's good, it's in spite of everything that's been stacked against him. And if he's bad, we're not even going to know if he's truly bad because it's been that much of like, he has nothing.
So I could totally see him being terrible for the Bears and then getting a second chance somewhere else and flourishing. So I really don't – I wish I could say definitively yes, but I really do think he's in such a bad spot that the answer could very well be no.
You know, I fear the Bears more than you do because they beat the Vikings in their defense. I know they got rid of Khalil Mack and some people, but when you're talking like that, I have friends that are Jets fans, and I have people tell me, if you're a great quarterback and you're drafted by the Jets, it's not going to work out.
But the Jets are worse than the Bears. In terms of quarterback, in terms of history of quarterbacks, the Bears have never had a 4,000-yard passer in the history of their franchise.
Do you know how hard that is in today's NFL? Yeah, I was a huge Walter Payton fan growing up, and I liked Bobby Douglas, who was the quarterback for the Bears. Who else did they have that I liked? I liked Jim McMahon.
He was okay. But yeah, they've've never had the guy.
No, never had the guy. Never had the guy.
There are just certain franchises that have that stink on them. Yeah.
The Jets are definitely up there. Although, I don't know, Zach Wilson.
Did you follow the Zach Wilson news last week? Yeah. I texted my buddies in New York about it.
He's a mother-friendly. We were talking about our mom's hot friends and all that stuff.
It was fun. I feel like that's going to play in the locker room, though.
I feel like that's a positive for him. One of the guys already said, that's my quarterback.
Yeah. Yeah, that is.
That is. All right.
Well, Craig, thank you so much. You're now a recurring guest, so you have to come back on anytime we ask.
Everyone go check out his new podcast. Go check out the YouTube, Sir Craig Kilburn on YouTube.
And Craig Kilbourne, the life gorgeous out now. Ryan Russillo.
Listen to it before it gets canceled because I'm sure Ryan said something that will be very bad. Well, I'll just go with Michelle Beadle.
I won't even play Ryan. I'll take your advice.
Thanks, guys. It was a blast.
All right. Thanks so much much craig really appreciate it craig kilbourne was brought to you by our great friends over at bird dogs now it's time to talk about our favorite shorts in the entire world bird dogs i'm actually check this out i'm wearing bird dogs right now didn't even know they were sponsoring today's podcast but i do wear bird dogs almost every day of my life bird dogs are the perfect shorts for summer they're perfect for the beach.
You can take them swimming. They're great.
They're also the most comfortable shorts in the world, and it's not even close. Light, breathable, super comfortable.
They give you the freedom you need to go out and enjoy every second of summer, not to mention they go with pretty much everything. Again, I go to the beach in these.
I can play sports in these. I was golfing in these yesterday.
Me and Jeff played against Jake and Hank in a scramble, two versus two scramble. Not going to say who won, but it was us.
And we were all wearing bird dogs on the course. Great.
They got zipper pockets. They also have sewn in underwear lining, which is perfect because you don't have to worry about picking out underwear to go with your shorts.
You just toss on a pair of bird dogs. They make everything simpler and they're super comfortable.
Go to birddogs.com and a promo code PMT. They will throw in a free bird dogs tumbler.
It's a super premium insulated drink vessel, like a Yeti mug. They copied it exactly and it's free.
They're normally like 35 bucks. Bird dogs will give you one for free.
Go to birddogs.comcom promo code PMT and boom, you get a free bird dogs tub tumbler with your pair of bird dogs. Okay.
Let's wrap up. This is, like I said, we'll be back in studio on Sunday.
This is our last vacation week before football kicks into gear. Credit to us, by the way, feel like we did a good job vacationing in July.
Cause we do, we do say're going to do that every every year and we finally did it and football season is going to kick our ass but we're very excited for it we also have grit week in two weeks so get excited colorado uh rado all the people in rado and maybe some other locations get ready um and yeah we'll be back in studio on sund. Big announcement Sunday.
I can't wait for football season. Huge announcement Sunday.
Yeah, big announcement. Yeah.
Okay, Hank, Firefest. PFT, I mean, there's a couple.
PFT alluded to it. I have the first one is that match.
We had Jake and I were up one hole with two to go, or three to go, and we lost. So that was a choke job on our part um did you choke or did we win it uh i played i didn't choke oh jake you guys want it so you guys want it throwing you right on the bus i actually yeah yeah no you guys want it um my other fire fest we were i am staying at the casa day commenter last night i woke up uh kind of was very confused where i was very very thirsty walked downstairs to get a water couldn't find a water bottle couldn't find a cup there's a mini fridge and i saw a green can and i thought it was a seltzer water and i was like that'll that'll that'll quench my thirst and i took a giant glug of it and it was a sprite so that was kind of a rude a rude like little 5 a.m 5 a.m sprite for the boys it's kind of like mouthwash though like if you had to pick a soda to be surprised about early in the morning i would say sprite is my my one overall pick yeah sprite is also yeah sprite also top level of refreshing.
Like if you had to pick the soda, the most refreshing soda, Sprite is up there. Yeah.
You just got to know it's coming. Like you, you know, you think you're going for, for water and you got a lot of bubbles.
So tough. It's been a really, it's been a really tough week.
Tough week on the golf course and tough week at the beach house. It's just like a tough, tough life we lead.
Yeah.

Yeah, really is.

We were playing this game of it's kind of like a high low game

where you have nine cards showing at the same time.

And then you have to figure out which card you want to play on

and you have to say higher and lower.

So if there's like a king out there, you should say, okay,

lower than that king because chances are it'll be lower

going by the math of the deck. Hank was playing like on a different quantum physics level where i couldn't even begin to get inside of his head i tried to observe hank in his natural environment he was like zach galifianakis in the hangover doing the calculus and he was like i think it's going to be higher than this queen because we've seen a lot of low cards recently and he would to his credit he got it right a couple times but he he really screwed us over a few times hey i mean when it comes to cards is yeah he gets a confidence about him that you just you you don't see in other parts of like hank's life where he's like i know what card is going to come when you play blackjack with him he does the same thing and he does sometimes like i he did this week where he gets on a heater.
2K to 20K. He's like, all right, you got to respect it.
Yeah, I mean, that was definitely the reason. He's been golfing, going to the beach, and he won $20,000 playing blackjack.
Whoa. What was that? Brutal.
I was streaming. Shout out to the Barstool Sportsbook.
Sick. Yeah.
San Marino doesn't have the Barstool Sportsbook.

Sorry, you missed out.

All right.

BFT.

My Fyre Fest of the week is by this time tomorrow,

I'm going to be $1.02 billion in debt with a B.

So approximately the cost of Elon Musk backing out of Twitter,

I've worked my own way into that sort of situation because I went out to the store. I bought $500 worth of Mega Millions tickets because the lottery is over a billion dollars this Friday.
And I'm giving away all the money that I make when I make the billion dollars to people that are in Atlantic City at the Anchor Rock Club tomorrow night at the Pup Punk concert. So I don't know how the logistics are going to work out.
I'm pretty sure it'll just be the honor system. Tell me you were there and then I'll pay you your share of the winnings.
But it reminds me of the Larry the Goldfish issue that we ran into a few years back where he almost won the super contest. And we had to figure out how to pay out like 20,000 people.
I'm fairly confident that I'm going to win the drawing tomorrow night and that I'll be in that exact same situation. But again, you can only split the money with me if you come out to the show tomorrow night, Atlantic City.
Or tonight, excuse me, Friday night, Atlantic City, Anchor Rock Club, Pup Punk. Can I be included even though I can't make it physically? I'll be there mentally.
You kind of already are included. You kind of already are included because when I made the initial video, I was just like doing one take and I may have said that you will match.
Okay. Yeah.
I'll match. I'll buy 500 tickets.
No problem. Okay.
Hank, will you double? I'll buy 500. Here's what I'm going to do for, for punk.
I'm going to buy 500 tickets, uh, tonight I'll tweet out the 500 tickets because i'm not going to be there physically um everyone who says they couldn't make it but we're gonna try to make it they have to say it before the drawing no we'll get a piece cat no you're not no take that show. All you have to do is tweet me and say, I really wanted to go.
But I couldn't make it. Basically, Big Cat is paying $500 for people to not go to my concert now.
No, no, no. No, no.
Because that's literally what you're doing right now. Wait, but I thought it was sold.
Sorry. I thought it was sold out.
If it's not, then you have to go. No, it's yes.
That's only if it's sold out. We're trying to sell some fucking tickets here okay cat and you're like actually i didn't know it'd be easier if i just gave them the money and they didn't go no i thought it was sold out that's my apology so that i will strike that from the record it has to say if it sells out then anyone who says that they couldn't get a ticket because it's sold out but if it doesn't sell out it's only people you're just think no one wants to sell it out that doesn't that doesn't make it any better yeah it does because it's got to sell out people got to buy tickets doesn't make it any better yeah it does it has to sell out no one gets anything if it doesn't sell out it has to sell out no one gets if you know what if it doesn't if it if it doesn't sell out i'm giving all the money to saudi arabia there now we're talking yeah there it is is that work that's fine that's better yeah so if it sells out everyone who's at the concert gets part of my winnings and if it doesn't sell out saudi arabia is getting it all okay that's that works that's better yeah fuck like that's it that's happening so that sucks for i might to be fair like it does sound very it sounds tempting to me to just give a Saudi Arabia just for the fuck of it i might do that they could use it yeah just slice them cut out the middle man um all right yeah i mean it is it is hard to do fire fest on vacation so because you sound like you're complaining but i did i did like my 18th hole at Shinnecock yesterday total meltdown double bogey could have.
Could have shot par. Brutal.
So that's my fire fest. Yeah.
It was brutal. Was it a three putt? Was it a three putt or did you just like go OB or something? No.
No. I fucking – my second shot was I hit an eight and I should have hit a nine, so I went over the hole.

Pured it.

Then I had to come back, had to scramble back.

Just a total meltdown, total meltdown.

And the caddy told me I should hit a nine, I hit an eight.

So fucking stupid.

Only one to blame is myself.

It's one of the hardest courses in the world.

So, I mean, you know, double bogey on 18.

Yeah, that doesn't – people were saying that, like,

oh, it's such a hard course, like you should be happy about a 72 that's just not how i think you don't you don't get to where we're at in life thinking like that that's a loser yeah you gotta go you gotta go three times harder than everybody else and on that last one you just did normal 100 yes yes okay uh jake yeah so similar to it's a golf-related fire fest. I was playing out on Long Island earlier this week, and I ordered my Uber from the course to the train station on the T of 18, just in case it was running late or it was a long wait.
The guy canceled on me on the way, and I missed the train train and I was stuck at the course for an extra hour when I was done. So just brutal.
Oh, did you forget your keys? Yeah. No, I didn't forget my keys.
I was just sitting there for an extra hour until the next train came. But it's all good.
Like you said, it's little things. We're on vacation.
We're playing golf. It's hard to complain.
It's a lot of fun.

Yeah, there are some moments in life where when you're going through them, you know that you'll never get these seconds back and they're utterly wasted seconds. Waiting for a train, I think, would definitely be one of them.
When you're just on a platform waiting, you're like, I should be doing anything else. When you're watching the last 15 seconds of a microwave tick down,

you're just thinking to yourself,

I'm just absolutely murdering time right now i should not be doing this so that's that's a tough wait especially if it's hot outside yeah agreed okay good fire fest billy your last one finish us off uh i've been taking a lot of buses overnight um because then you have to pay for somewhere to sleep so you can travel and sleep you have to pay for hotel so i was taking a bus two nights ago with friends or family billy everybody um everybody everyone's family pangia bro um so i was on the bus and i was sleep i was like about about to fall asleep. And this dude was just sleeping on me.
And I kept trying to tell him to get off me. But he like, every time he'd like wake up, he'd be like, it's something like, then he'd speak.
And I don't know what language he was speaking. It was a romance language.
He's like, oh, do it. And he just kept sleeping on me.
And I was trying to wake him up, but he was in like a daydreaming state the whole time. So he just slept on me the whole like eight hour car ride.
So. Wow.
Was he snuggling? Yeah. He was like nuzzling on my shoulder and it was just like, dude, I'd like, wake up.
But yeah. Damn.
It was, it was awkward. That actually does suck.
A bus ride overnight is brutal it's been pretty good but that was that was the one problemo that's that's maybe the biggest difference between your early 20s and your 30s is like sleeping on transportation you're fine doing that when you're like 23 years old if you're above 30 you first of all you don't sleep second of all when you do sleep like your whole body just go you either get the tingles or your whole body will just ache like shit for the next two days afterwards it'll just store your week if i tried to sleep on a bus i might as well just check myself into a hotel for seven days to recover red eye the red eye always feels like a good idea and then you And then you just, it ruins you for like three days when you're in your 30s, 40s, whatever. Like it just kills you.
I actually have the idea. I think people should start doing this.
I have a bachelor party I have to go to in a couple of weeks. I think that it should be normalized that guys should just like spend an extra day in that city, but everyone should just get like a hotel room and just sleep in like a dark room and like have a decompression day instead of going back to society.
Like it should be like a bachelor party should always be a plus one day that you can just go and just die in like a like think about a blackout curtain 60 degree hotel room for an entire day after it that's what we were talking about coming back from new orleans there should be yeah there should be an easier way back into society room just like the divers use when they come up to to surface level there should be a city right outside new orleans that just specializes in knocking you out pretty much for 24 hours and letting your body regenerate itself yeah yeah a seven day coma after a bachelor party would be a great thing have you tried just a quick medically induced have you guys tried ivs yeah yeah they're i don't think they're like they make you feel a little bit better but you can't what i've learned from ivs is they make you feel more hydrated, but you can't replace sleep. Like putting an IV in your arm doesn't replace sleep.
That's the problem with IVs. Like I've done it before in Vegas where like I felt better, but I still was like, oh yeah, you know what? Sleeping three hours a night isn't going to like, eventually I have to sleep.
You push that to the limit though. Okay.
Let's do numbers. Reminder, Pup Punk, Friday night Atlantic city.
I'm going right now to buy 500 tickets. If it doesn't sell out, if it sells out, everyone in attendance can have part of my winnings and PFT's winnings.
We're probably both going to win a way to cut out, which would be doubling. We lost Big Cat.
What Big Cat was about to say is Big Cat's $500 worth of tickets will go to the crowd if you go see Pup Punk on Friday night. Tonight, Atlantic City, Anchor Rock Club.
Sorry, am I back? Yep, you're back now. Well, yeah, what I was saying, yeah.
Atlantic City, I'm buying the tickets, 500 tickets. What I was actually saying, PFT, is I think we're both going to win, which would be $2 billion, which would be sick.
And if it sells out, everyone who's in attendance gets a piece of my winnings. If it doesn't sell out, Saudi Arabia gets my winnings.
But to be clear, mine is if it sells out or not, I'll be splitting it with everybody in the room and maybe i'll just kick a couple i don't know like 15 million to muhammad bin salman yeah and also my just the fine print on mine is uh i'm giving my winnings to saudi arabia after shipping and handling fees so naturally so they better we don't know better drop, they better drop gas prices if they

want to get that money.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

What dude, actually, how sick would it be to just do a stimulus for everyone?

Wouldn't it be sick?

Like, what do you mean?

Like in the world?

People need to work.

People need to get back to work.

500 million after taxes.

That means everyone gets a dollar. Everyone gets like over a dollar yeah everyone go out that's pretty sick everyone gets everyone gets a dollar that's pretty sick that's gotta help take the next year inflation down maybe probably i don't know i don't know how economics work all All right.
Random number generator. All right.
Everyone say their numbers. One.
34. 82.
12. Again.
Two in a row. Whoa.
Back to back. Wow.
Damn. Uh-oh.
Aaron Rogersgers right after our ass. Okay.

Love you guys.

Wolverines are related to seals and sea lions closer than actual wolves.

Closer to sea lions, though, because you can see their ears.

Mm-hmm.

Love you guys. I'm talking away I don't know what I'm to say I'm a sage anyway Today is another day to find

you shying

away

I'll be coming for

your love again

Shying away

I'll be coming for your love

again

Take on me? Take me on. I'll be gone.
I'll be done I'll be done Needless to say I'm all the same But I'll be still a little way Early learning plot is okay. Say up to me.
A place for better to be safe and sorry. Say up to me.
A place for better to be safe than started All the things that you say

Yeah, easy to lie for

Just to blame my love

Either way

You're all the things I've got to remember

Are you shying away?

I'll be coming for you anyway be shining away I'll be coming for you anyway take on me take me on.

I'll be gone.