The 2022 Takie Awards With Special Guest Presenters Presenting 26 Awards Including Blake Griffin & Blake Bortles Competing In Blake Of The Year

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On today's Pardon My Take, the 2022 Takey Awards. Our sixth ever? Is this our sixth ever? This is our seventh.
Seven? Yeah. How is that possible? Well, because the way time works.
Wait, I'm going to do the math in my head real quick. Wait, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 21, 21.

Seven years.

Fuck, man.

Time is going fast.

Okay. Wait, I'm going to do the math in my head real quick.
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And then I can't blame all on the sun. Oh, no.
We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue. And then we'll take it higher.
Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue. It's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports.
The Takey Awards. Yes.
The most illustrious awards ever given. We are the most important award show.
Fuck the Emmys. Fuck the Oscars.
Fuck the ESPYs. It's the Takey.
Respect to the Tonys. Yeah.
Respect to the Tonys. Yeah, Tonys, respect.
Tony's Award. Respect.
Any local Emmys, respect. Sports Emmys.
Everyone gets a sports Emmy. Everyone gets nominated for a sports Emmy except us.
We don't want one. If you breathe and talk into a microphone at any point in your life, you get nominated for a sports Emmy.
Did we ever tell that story publicly? What? When they were asking us, like, some of the behind-the-scenes people at Barstow, like, we want to go for sports Emmys, what would you want to get nominated for? And you guys were like, send them the John Cena clip. Yeah, we were like, we don't want to get nominated.
But if they want to nominate us and only do it on our John Cena interview, we're in. They're like, if they get that.
What was your best interview that we should send for sports Emmys? And you guys were like, send him to John Cena. We are actively trying to never be nominated for everything.
There was also one that was like. People forget, though, Jeff D.
Lowe has several Emmys. He does.
Yeah. There was another one.
I can't remember what award it was. They were like, hey, they want to nominate you, and you guys will probably win, but you got to fly out.
Oh, it was just like iHeart. Yeah, we were like, nah, no thank you.
That was year two of being nominated for Best Sports Podcast on iHeart. We were like, yeah, no, I'd rather just be at home and not care about what's going on at that particular award show.
And then they've punished us for the last five years. Which I'm happy with.
Which fine. Yeah.
I love being a loser. Keep that chip on your shoulder.
Yeah, if we ever win an official award, like with an award show, that means we've sold out. That means we've been kidnapped.
So come save us. Yeah, I mean, if you look back through history, they gave Hitler person of the year.
Yeah, they did. Time Magazine gave that award to them.
Got to host the Olympics. Awards are overrated.
They are very overrated, except the takeies. Again, except for this one.
The most important award show ever created. This is year seven.
We were just having that discussion. Did we skip it in 2020 when there was COVID? No, we didn't.
We did one in 2020. 19-year-old of the year was won by COVID-19.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Huge.
Shout out COVID-19, Coco. Yeah, so if there was an AWL who had a baby in 2016 and they also listened to the podcast, that means that that kid is now in, like, second grade.
Oh, that's scary. That's scary.
That means there's an AWL who's going for seven in a row, and he's in second grade. If you were a freshman AWL in high school, you're about to graduate college.
You're a junior in college right now. And if you were in college when you got your first AWL, you'd probably hate your fucking job.
That's nuts. And you're going to get another one, though.
And we'll make a certificate that you can print out and put in your office for the job that you hate billy hadn't hit puberty when the first take is that's true you didn't have your first pube yet you got your first pube in 2017 i was a junior in high school yeah right when you got your first right exactly so congrats on getting pubes uh all right so let's do it we're gonna we're gonna hop right in we have 26 awards we have some guest presenters we have the important Blake of the year we have the podcast listeners of the year there's a lot of great awards should we hop right into it can you put in some dramatic music or something sure so put in some dramatic music here da da da da da da da da da da some dramatic music here. Da-da-da-da.
Yeah. Da-da-da-da.
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Da-da-da-da-da.
Da-da-da-da-da. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
I used to play that song with my friends in a basement and just play Halo. What's the song that the lads sing in the bar? I want to stand.
I'll be your dream. I'll be your dream.
I'll be your fantasy. I'll be your love.
I'll be your love. I'll be everything that you need.
I'll love you more with every second, every day that you do. I will be strong.
I will be faithful. Cause I'm counting on a new beginning.
A reason for living, a deeper meaning is true.

I want to stand with you on a mountain.

I want to bathe with you in the sea.

I want to lay like this forever until the sky falls down on me. All right it is that's the dramatic music okay let's do it okay takey number one the award is worst collector of the year a great award this is a new award and the nominees are guy at the all star game who was this is actually a late ent nominees are Guy at the All-Star Game, who was – this was actually a late entrant.
The Guy at the All-Star Game was trying to elbow a bunch of kids to get a signed ball. He came on the scene late, but he made an impact.
He made a very big impact. Logan Paul for buying fake Pokemon cards.
He bought $3.5 million worth of fake Pokemon cards. He did get refunded, but when he opened when he opened the box it wasn't great stay woke that seems like a marketing tool for whatever company he bought them from being like look they were fake it does it gave me my money no it's like an nft i think it was an nft uh like don't buy cards buy these non-fungible tokens right exactly you can't fake these um we have super valuable we have darren revell for his martin luther king collection which uh on martin luther king day he produced uh he tweeted out my most cherished cherished piece of martin luther king jr memorabilia are pages from the warden's log books from the birmingham jail in 1963 when he wrote letter from a birmingham jail king signed in and out of mail 12 times.
Now this is Martin Luther King being imprisoned and he's signing a document to just receive his mail. What an autograph.
What an autograph. Incredible.
And I think he said he also had a Rosa Parks rookie card. Yep.
Rosie Parks rookie card, which was her, her N.A.C.P. card.
It was her card that she had to have in order to be able to vote without getting killed. Yes, yes.
And that was the card he had. He also, when he was criticized for this, he did clap back at everyone saying, calling me a racist is cute on this day especially.
I have one of the largest Martin Luther King Jr. collections in the world, and some of my closest friends are black.
He did tweet that.

It's rare that you get to see that.

You get to see that in real life these days.

Yes, yes. He also

it's yeah, he deleted that one because

he realized how stupid it sounded. Also because

he probably does not have any close friends

that are black. Yeah, he's going to have to produce a black

friend and everyone's like, oh. It's like, oh shit.

Darren, you've really got yourself

in the mud on this one. Yeah, the shirt malcolm x was wearing when he was assassinated does not

count as a black friend um he then went on a twitter space uh to defend himself it was a miami hurricanes twitter space let's play that real quick everybody can get on the same page sure I have I have over nine I am a humongous fan of what he's done and over the last seven years i've collected a lot of things uh it's not only mlk it's a lot of black history i own a rosa parks uh signed n double a cp card so it was pretty shocking today how I was called racist when I am a student and lover of black history. And it was, I never expected the reaction that I got today.
Of course not. No.
This is the best part. Hold on.
Because he's done sorry i'm sorry if people think that a white man can't enjoy black history i'm sorry i'm i'm sorry i i really am it i'm sorry if people think that a white man uh can't uh uh love martin luther king but to, that seems pretty counterintuitive.

And see. Darren is

0 for his lifetime. It's actually racist to think that he's racist.

Darren is 0 for his lifetime

in expecting the

backlash that he receives. Yes, yes.

He not once has ever anticipated

people getting mad at him.

So he's nominated for his Martin Luther

King collection. He also is nominated,

double nominee, for his

check collection. So he also has

collected famous checks. I went

Thank you. So he's nominated for his Martin Luther King collection.
He also is nominated, double nominee, for his check collection. So he also has collected famous checks.
I went through it. Some of the famous checks he has is Ted Williams paying for his life insurance, a check from the minor league affiliate of the Yankees to John Elway.
Does he still have to pay that because he might still be coming back? Yeah, he might still be alive. His head might be alive.
That's true. Good point, Hank.
Jackie Robinson paying rent in his apartment in Brooklyn.

Muhammad Atta purchasing a one-way

ticket on American Airlines Flight 11.

And the Raiders paying John Madden.

So are you joking about the Muhammad Atta?

I am, but

it actually wouldn't be that crazy for

Jared Revelle to be like, look at this, guys.

On September 10, 2011,

Muhammad Atta bought a plane ticket. Yeah, this is the first purchase actually ever made by the public investment fund.
Yeah, yeah. So he is.
It's a piece of sports history, I'm just saying. Dude, if he did that, I don't think anyone could be shocked.
No, I was like, normally I would understand that that was clearly a joke. Yeah.
And I was like, you know. Darren's probably listening to this show now or at least the part that's that his friend cut up where we talk about him yeah and he's probably like you know what i would i would actually really like to get my hands on that has anyone out of logan yeah has anyone found the credit card that lee harvey oswald used to buy the gun to kill jfk because i'm in i'm interested i do like some of his collectibles oh yeah i'm sure absolutely some of it's interesting when he bought the viagra bottle from hugh hefner's estate that was kind of cool like some of them were ridiculous but like sometimes he has them for every day yeah it's like today is like whatever whatever day it is he has some type of memorabilia it's kind of impressive i don't think that as a society we talk enough about the fact that collecting signatures is just fucking weird Yeah Yeah, it is.
Especially if you have a picture and you're like, hey, can you write your name on this picture that I have of you? Like, what the fuck? Who decided that that was something that would be valuable? I do think that selfies have taken the place of it, which is way more meaningful to be like, here is me with this person, not here is me. Here is a signature from this person.
Yeah, hey, will you write your name on this picture that I have of you?

Right.

It's fucking, it's weird if you think about it from like an abstract point of view.

Yes, it absolutely is weird.

Okay, so.

People forget I have a job here because of him.

That's true.

So he has done something positive in this world.

Yes, thank you, Darren.

All right, so the winner.

We actually collected a Darren Revell.

Yeah, yeah.

The winner, drum roll, is Darren Revell and his Martin Luther King Jr. collection.
Wow. Incredible.
Over nine pieces of Martin Luther King Jr. Is it 10? The over-under has said it at exactly 10.
It's got to be 10. It has to be 10.
It might even be nine. He might just be lying.

You think he goosed it?

Yeah, I think he said over nine, and it's exactly at nine.

If you count each signature when he was getting his commissary while in jail,

then that would count as upwards of 16.

That's true.

He's got the documents of the CIA when they plan to assassinate him.

That's cool.

FBI.

Oh, the FBI, yeah.

Same thing.

Probably CIA.

All of them together. Yeah.
All right, so that is that is our first award pft you are presenting our next award okay our second award is the twitter reply guy of the year oh big big big award it was a banner year and reply guys um want to recognize actually three of the nominees actually come from part of my take replies outstanding, Outstanding Work in the Reply section. We have Jess Posa nominated.
Big reply guy. Always strong.
FSU Brando. Yep.
Great song that he wrote for us. I just want to say, Jess Posa, there's like, I will, you know how there's always this weird feeling of like, if you've been in common sense, you've been on the online, people could just die and you wouldn't like know that they're gone oh i would know if if i didn't get a tweet from him every morning

of a new episode i would be like call the cops where'd he go because i used to be memes memes

was the i mean memes got basically a job from being a essentially a reply guy yeah but i i do

love just post it because it's like wake up drink some coffee boom he's like you know this part was

great he's he's an all-time awl all-time nominee for Reply Guy. The brilliant thing about Just Posa, it's not just the depth of what he does on this show.
It's like every show. Yeah.
Like every Barstool show. It's crazy.
Yes. All right, FSU Brando also nominated.
Clue Haywood also nominated. Clue Haywood, strong Reply Guy, maybe the biggest drinker, and the only Arizona Cardinals fan in cardinals fan in the world yes that's true and clue haywood also has this specific uh reply guy very funny twitter account everyone should follow him but he uh if you don't respond to him like after a few times he just assumes he's muted it's like no dude i'm never gonna mute you yeah but that's a reply guy thing to be like am i muted reply guy mentality yeah right like whether you put me in a box? What the fuck? Yeah.
And then, you know what I love? I love his Xanax tweets. You can always tell when it's like 2 a.m.
Yeah. He's had a couple pops.
He wakes up the next morning. He's like, oh my God, what have I done online? And he's got a great dog.
I think the name Kevin. Kevin's a good dog.
Any time you name your dog after just a regular name, I laugh. Yep.
Or another animal. Yeah.
Or another animal. It's named Bear.
Yeah, that's true. I like that, too.
And then the final nominee is LeBron James' entire reply section to every tweet that he has. Mm-hmm.
So, drum roll, please. Ooh.
And by the way, if you don't know that, it's the little fraud, and then it lists all this. Well, I'm- Yeah, okay.
All right. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Pause. Spoilers.
Drum roll, drum roll, drum roll. And the winner is the LeBron James reply section.
Congratulations to LeBron James tweet repliers. As they say, LaFraud is actually 0-10 in the finals in my eyes.
2007, lost. Swept.
2011, lost. 2012, Baby Thunder.
Doesn't count. 2013, Ray Allen.
Also, that was rigged.. 2013, Ray Allen doesn't count.
2014, lost. 2015, lost.
2016, Injured Warriors doesn't count. 2017, lost.
2018, lost. Swept.
2020, Mickey Mouse doesn't count. Yeah.
It's strong, and they make it. When you read it like that, I actually now believe that LeBron James is 0-10 in yeah in his career in the nba finals yeah there's an asterisk next to all but baby thunder is my favorite baby thunder doesn't count ray allen doesn't count they were too young that's all the ray allen one is essentially like lebron had a good teammate doesn't count yeah doesn't count doesn't count ray allen made that shot uh okay congratulations to all the reply guys in lebron james uh twitter comments they keep it up yeah keep it up keep that same energy please That's right.
Okay, congratulations to all the reply guys in LeBron James' Twitter comments. Keep it up.
Yeah, keep it up. Keep that same energy, please.
That's right. The Q&A was wonderful.
Yeah. Okay, next up, the Wild of the Year.
Jake, could you stand up for a second? Jake's standing up. All right, Jake, you're going to want to sit down for this.
Okay, there we go. So Jake's now sitting down.
All right, the for wild of the year uh joe burrow and jamar chase smoking cigars after they won the afc championship and the wild part jimmy chase and jimmy burrow both named jimmy are smoking cigars in the parking lot after the afc championship game so pretty wild that's crazy crazy The next nominee, Derek Jeter's nephew. If you remember when his last game, he did the respect with the hat.
Very famous thing. We're too packed.
So check this out. You ready for this? It's his nephew.
That's wild right there. That's wild.
Derek Jeter's nephew, who tipped his cap to Jeter in his final game at Yankee Stadium, was front row for his uncle's Hall of Fame induction. Did he tip his cap? He didn't have a cap.
He didn't have a cap. No cap.
No cap. Yeah.
Incredible, though. That is wild.
His nephew was at both events is fucking wild. Okay, so that's the next nominee.
The third nominee, Tiger Woods played golf with his son, Charlie Woods, at the PNC Championship.

They kind of look the same.

They walk the same.

They hit the same.

It's wild.

That's crazy.

Yeah, very wild.

The next one, Matt Holiday's son, who we saw a picture of Matt Holiday holding his son,

which is wild in its own right, after he won the NL Championship with the Rockies. He was like a two-year-old.
Matt Holiday's son, Jackson Holiday, went 1-1 in the MLB draft. Whoa, like a Major League ball player's son is also going to play Major League Baseball? It's crazy.
Let me listen. That's not the last wild we got from that.
We also have the Blue Jays' sons. So the Blue Jays have Vlad Jr., Bo Bichette, and Kevin Biggio.
All their swings kind of look like their dad's swings. Holy shit.
Wild, right? Wild. That last one was also cool.
Yeah, it was cool. It was wild and cool.
All right, so the winner of the Wild of the Year. It's Derek Jeter's nephew.
All right. Yep.
He was at both things. I still don't know how he got to the Hall of Fame induction and was able to sit front row.
That's wild in its own right, but it's like, whoa. He's a young kid there, and he's still a young kid, but just a little bit older five years later.
But it's that same kid that was at the game. It's the same kid.
I think he's also DJ Premier's son. I think DJ Premier married Derek Jeter's sister, I want to say, which is extra wild.
I'm going to double check that right now. I don't even know who DJ Premier is.
Derek Jeter. I think that yeah from Billy was just a fact check.
Yes. I think that's what he meant.
Right, Billy? Yeah. Yes.
Yeah. Derek Jeter, his nephew is DJ Premier's son.
Wow. Wow.
That is wild. Double wild.
And it's crazy that this has happened at the same time as a documentary being released. This is too many wilds.
If everyone, if you need to take a break at this point in the podcast, I would understand. Thank you, Captain.
If you want to take a pause and just let this all sink in. Who did you just say that to Jeter? Yeah, he said, thank you, Captain.
To Jeter. To Jets.
Yeah, Jets. Yeah, Jets.
You know what? I've never agreed with Rico Bosco about anything in my life, but I love his Derek Jeter takes. Yeah, he just goes all in on Derek Jeter.
Overrated. Yeah.
Bad defensive liability at shortstop. If he was a Cincinnati Red, no one would know who he is.

Yeah, he has a massive ego.

He wouldn't let A-Rod play shortstop.

Yeah, that's true.

That would have been much better.

He ruined the Marlins.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And the Yankees.

The proud Marlins.

I mean, the Marlins hadn't won since 2000.

No, no, no.

That was the proud Marlins.

Jake, that was the joke.

Thank you.

The proud Marlins, Jake.

The proud Marlins actually beat Jeter in 2003.

That's true.

Wild. Wild.
I was on the field. You know what? That motherfucker took down the statue of the fish.
Yeah. And he – no, just play along with it, Hank.
That's on Jeter. And he expelled Marlins, man.
Yeah. He wouldn't let him bring his hookers to games anymore.
Ladies, those are the mermaids. Please, put some respect on their name.
They were the Marlins mermaids. Yeah.
Yeah. He didn't take the blank check offer from Marlins, man.
Okay, next up. Suspension of the year.
It was a great year in suspensions this year. Great year in suspensions.
We had a lot to work with. Sussies left and right.
We got addicted to suspensions for a brief period of time. I feel like I'm still...
What's that rule? You have to wait 28 days to break a habit, right? To get of your system so i'm still technically addicted to suspensions um but we're working on that so the suspension of the year nominees are billy football for getting sussied for a month for um billy do you want to congratulations do you want to say anything any uh Any like I'm glad to be nominated speech?

Anything?

It really shouldn't be celebrated.

Oh, okay.

All right.

Well, it is.

You're nominated.

That's big.

It was a big suspension.

Yes.

Huge suspension.

Although we did kind of make Billy into a martyr in a way.

Well, no, that was Rico.

Did that.

He got saved by the Bosco.

Thanks, Rico.

Yes, yes.

The second nominee is Brooks Koepka, Blake Koepka, being suspended from part of my takes Blake of the Year award at the end of this episode, pending appeal. Yes.
Now, I'm told there might be an appeal of sorts. He has a statement ready to be read when we have the remaining two Blakes on the show to decide Blake of the Year.
I also think that in much the same way that Billy kind of got saved and martyred by Rico, Brooks has kind of been saved and martyred by everybody else that's short. David Faraday.
Yeah, Charles Barkley in the future. Yeah.
Yeah. And the third nominee is Calvin Ridley getting sussied from the NFL for a season for putting a $500 parlay on a game last year.
Seven-game parlay.

Honorable mention, Deshaun Watson.

He might be suspended by the time this comes out.

Yeah, that's true.

That is true.

We were taping this a week before, so if he was suspended,

again, our statement on the suspension is,

I think it was not enough, and PFT says... It was too was too much yeah so just go with whatever you want there yep and the winner is for suspension of the year calvin ridley oh put a shitty little parlay in wow it didn't even win it didn't even win his parlay and he's out for a year we're gonna look we're on this, I think, in 10 years, the same way we look back on how he treated weed laws back in the 1990s.
Yes, especially after everyone tweeted those clips of him getting tackled, and they're like, he threw this. Yeah, exactly.
NFL rigged. Look at him.
He didn't score a touchdown on every single catch that he had. Yeah, that Emmanuel Acho tweet when he's like, look at this, and then he looked up the stats, and Calvin Ridley had like seven catches for 150 yards and a touchdown.
Oh, I didn't see that one. I'm blocked.
Yeah. Oh, I'm blocked too.
Okay, next up, worst take of the year. Loaded, loaded award here.
We got some great ones. So we'll start.
Ben Simmons traded from the Philadelphia 76ers to the Brooklyn Nets on playing with Kyrie and KD. He said, quote, it's going to be scary.
So I actually think he was correct about this. He was talking about he was just expressing his emotions.
He was like, I'm scared to play. I'm scared to play basketball.
Yeah, right, right. Because he doesn't want to be on the court.
But it's going to be scary. I i'm gonna play in the nba this year that's terrifying yeah yeah i would i would actually say that they're gonna make me shoot that's scary yeah whoa no no thank you please yeah so uh he uh yeah they never played a game together this year could have used him in the playoffs didn't show up uh the next one trista crick uh our former colleague said uh during the uh 2021 nfl draft are the bangles having the worst draft of any team that kicker pick was puzzling now this is also mind you the draft they took jamar chase um which turned out pretty good and evan mcpherson and turned out to be good really good fact he doesn't have joe burrow's.
Yeah, and he also watches the halftime shows. Yeah.
Yeah, which, come on, how could you do that? The next up, Colin Coward. You knew he would get in here somewhere.
He said before the 2021 NFL season, really think Urban Meyer and his staff have nailed this draft. So let's have some fun.
I like the Jags over six and a half wins so um it actually turned out they only won three games and on top of that urban meyer was fired uh after week 13 or week 14 they were 2 and 11 he his last two games in the nfl they lost to the rams 37 7 and the titans 20 to. And we have the special Urban Meyer really figured it out.
After the Rams game, it was leaked that Urban Meyer said when watching Rams tape, who is this 99 guy on the Rams? I'm hearing he might be a problem for us. That, of course, is Aaron Donald, the best defensive player in the NFL.
So Urban Meyer did not get the over six and a half. He got fired in a total train wreck, kicked a player.
He was a kicker. Yeah, didn't do well.
The next up, LeBron James. He said on the Lakers season after they got Russell Westbrook and signed Carmelo Anthony, he said, keep talking about my squad, our personnel ages, the way he plays, he stays injured, we're past our time in this league, etc.
etc. Do me one favor, please, and I mean please, folded hands, keep that same, that's the emoji, folded hands, keep that same narrative energy when it begins.
That's all I asked. Hashtag thank you.
I actually like the verbal emojis. Yeah, it was written out in front of me.
The Lakers then went 33-49. And we did keep that same energy.
We did. Only because he asked us.
And they missed the playoffs. And here's a great thing about this worst take of the year nominee.
He then provided one that could be another worst take of the year in the future. So he laid an Easter egg.
It's the take that keeps on giving. When they missed the playoffs, he said, I can slash will not miss the postseason again for my career.
This S star, star, star hurt. Okay, back to watching these games.
So that could be – keep your eye on that. I think my personal favorite LeBron James tweet was still the MSG one when he was watching playoff basketball.
He's like, man, Madison Square Garden is loud-ass hell. Yeah, loud-ass hell.
Yes, yes. All right, next up we have Dan Dockich for his take.
Interesting. Pacers are praised for picking Reggie Miller over Steve Alford in 1987, yet Pacers have not won a single thing in the subsequent 39 years.
Would they have won anything with Alford? Who knows? But what we do know is nothing was won with Miller. That's a good point.
Yeah, Reggie Miller, bad draft pick by the Pacers. Pretty much the best Pacer of all time.
How many NBA championships did Alford win? Zero. Zero also.
But who's to say? Who's to say? You never know. That sliding door, butterfly effect, they could have been the best franchise ever.
Steve Alford could have been the Jordan killer. We don't know.
We were robbed of that opportunity. The next up is Kurt Warner.
This was before the Bills Patriots game in Buffalo with the crazy weather. He said yeah yeah it's football weather blah blah blah.
No one enjoys playing in this and no one can play their best football in conditions like this but what do I know? I'm a dome guy. I'll be here for all the windy action uh and then the last up is our darling jake for keeping the wisconsin badgers out of his preseason bracketology uh they ended up getting a three seed he was they won co-big-ten champions he couldn't have been more wrong about that so terrible terrible take for you jake yeah this is why i like staying neutral because i'm just so bad at predictions but there was no doubt about this one there was not one portion of the season where they had a chance of missing correct correct but jake it wasn't a prediction you you said time and time again wait now i'm confused yeah because your explanation was it wasn't a prediction it was a prediction at the time no it was a reflection of just your formulaic, your proprietary algorithm.

It was a take at the time.

Right.

The November take was wrong,

but I had him in by December.

And it should have been so easy

if you just put him in.

I know.

But it provided a great clip.

That's true.

It did.

It did.

All right.

The winner of worst take of the year.

Drum roll.

It's LeBron James.

LeBron James.

Good job, LeBron.

When he said keep that same energy

before the season, and then his team went 33-49, missed the playoffs. Great take by LeBron.
We did keep that same energy like PFT said, and it was fantastic. It was great energy.
It was fantastic energy. LeBron, thank you for helping us help you make the game of basketball better.
And now I won't even speak to Russell Westbrook. Yeah.
No, they huddled on the phone. Did you see that? Anthony Davis, LeBron, and Russ huddled on the phone.
What is that? It was the report. It was one phone? Yeah, and they talked about how they're going to keep that same energy and hopefully win.
Okay. Can't wait.
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whatever in Ariat work gear next up P, PFT, you got the next one.

Take it away.

Yes.

The next category is the text meant to be sent to somebody else of the year.

There are quite a few of them this year.

Several on this podcast.

The first nominee is Hank's gym selfie.

They accidentally sent to Dan, Dave, and Gaz.

The worst three people you could ever send it to. All on the same text chain.
What's the name of that workout thing? F45. F45.
How many days in are you? Well, I moved, so I did about 30 days. Okay, so F30.
About 30 days, so like 23? Give or take. You did over nine days of F45.
Yeah, at least yes yeah and and you have the six pack it's in in in progress loading yes six packs there it's just underneath the other stuff yeah yeah okay it's like a 30 pack right now it's the spinning wheel when you when you try to go on like in an explorer i'm gonna put my cape on for hank real quick because I've seen that gym selfie resurfacing a lot recently. It's always funny.
I laugh every single time that does. By the way, if you're listening to this, do not reply to this podcast tweet with Hank's gym selfie.
But the one that they're using, it's a Photoshopped one where your face looks like it's been stung by bees and it's all swollen up. Your face isn't really that swollen in the original one.
Yeah. Right.
It's one of those where the Photoshop has actually overtaken the original in terms of which one people think is true. Correct.
A little disambiguation. I would say that people have actually stopped.
I haven't seen it as much, so thank you for resurfacing. Yeah, appreciate that.
They're definitely going to stop doing it. Yep.
Yep. Never send that to us.
The second nominee was the weird joke that i sent to big cat hank and peggy or booker weird yeah it was a weird joke well it was just out of nowhere and we were just talking about getting a guest and then you just dropped a joke yeah i dropped a joke about like hooking up with somebody when you're leaving a bar which was meant to be a ghost written joke for get up to impress mike greenberg yep and uh boy egg all over my face on that one um next nominee is liam screenshots that he replied where he screenshotted our own conversation on the group chat and then sent them back to us on the group chat yes and the last nominee is bill belichick texting brian fl, congrats on getting the Giants job just heard.

Turns out that was meant for Brian Dable.

Brian Flores had to be the one that was like,

wait, did you mean to send this one to me?

And Belichick said, oh, sorry about that.

I fucked this one up.

And I know it's not true,

but I just assumed that he in his phone has black Brian and white Brian.

And he just did the wrong one.

He did the wrong B. Yeah, yeah.
So the winner is, drumroll please. Bill Belichick to Brian Flores wins.
Winners win. Made the news.
Yeah, he did. He won a takey.
That's big. Hopefully he accepts this award.
We'll have to text it. We don't have his number, but we'll text it to someone who could maybe text it to him.

Now, I mean, the big brain theory on this is that Belichick did it on purpose,

said Brian Flores would file his lawsuit so that the Dolphins would get in trouble

for trying to tamper with Tom Brady.

Right, and everything would fall apart, and it kind of worked.

Yeah, it is kind of worked.

Classic Belichick.

That's the best part about being Bill Belichick. Anything you do, if you do something stupid, everyone's like, the genius of Belichick.
Yep. Okay.
Great award. Next one, League of the Year.
So League of the Year, big year for new leagues and old leagues. NFL had a great year.
They're our first nominee. You know, it's NFL.
They should just be nominated all the time nfl is king nfl is king uh the live tour the live tour is nominated for league of the year the live tour has made waves in the golf world the new uh tour out of saudi arabia that is uh gobbling up golfers and sports personalities left and right uh if they take charles barkley from inside the nba like or nba on tnt i'm gonna people are gonna be mad well why is tnt gonna be like the pga tour to charles barkley and say you're not allowed to work for us and also for the live tour i don't know and i think at some point the pga tour is gonna have to just say all right you know what we're not gonna suspend every golfer that goes to live for life right jay tour well i just assume that the the live tour would just give charles barkley so much money he wouldn't do other jobs oh he wouldn't want to work he wouldn't want and also like they would just be like hey how about 300 million dollars you can't do anything else yeah i mean it's a possibility that live tour could just take over everything that we like yeah and every single branch of this podcast yes open for business uh the pll is uh nominated for league of the year pll has had a big year no thanks to the water dogs uh darling jake did a great job on his call this is now we're taping this before he calls on espn2 which hopefully he did well um and this won't be And this could be a nominee for worst take of the year in retrospect. The racial slur was a little over the line.
I mean, expected during a lacrosse broadcast. But I appreciated the fact that you didn't leave and you just pooped your pants on air.
That was nice. I'm just going to tease this out.
I can't. It's okay.
This is going to air after the fact. Yeah, yeah, don't worry.
They can't kick you off the air yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right.
Also, is it a coincidence that the PLL had their best year ever after Paul Rabel retired? Was Paul Rabel bad for professional lacrosse? Some are saying. Some are saying.
Okay, the last one is Mike Trout's Fantasy League, which made waves after Tommy Pham slapped Jock Peterson in the face in the outfield before an MLB game. We also now have Mike Trout's Fantasy League commissioned by our good friend Stephen Che.
And Dave is in the league now, so it is definitely a nominee for League of the Year. Do we have a cameo, a person? I shouldn't have said that word.
Bleep that out.

Do we have a presenter for League of the Year?

Jake.

Yes, this was selected by Hank.

Okay.

Hello, my award-winning listeners.

It is the 2022 Takey Awards.

I am your host, Claire Hogel.

Big thank you to PFT for selecting me to announce this prestigious award.

I picked the wrong one.

Oh.

Oh.

All right.

Cut that.

So that was a little teaser.

Wait.

Oh.

Yeah.

I know.

Cut that.

Okay.

I'm going to pretend like I'm surprised next time I hear that.

Okay.

Yeah.

All right.

So we have.

You didn't pick the wrong one.

That is it.

Wow.

Bad job, Jake.

All right.

This is the beauty of the Takey Awards show. You get to see...
We're like Steve Harvey incident every other award. Oh.
Okay. So was that the correct one? All right.
So play it again. Yes.
We also have not heard, so we all picked some presenting... Hall monitor Jake just ruined my joke right off the bat.
We picked some different presenters. Hello, my award- of these.
It is the 2022 Takey Awards. Is this Claire Hogle? Claire Hogle.
Oh, I nailed it. Big thank you to PFT for selecting me to announce this prestigious award.
Bonk. Bonk.
And now the moment that you have all been waiting for. The Takey winner of League of the Year is the Live Tour.
Yeah. that paper, boys.
P.S. If he keeps swinging it the way he is, he may just end up on the Live Tour himself.
Great job. Great job.
Who is Claire Hogle? She's a golfer. Okay.
All right. Yeah.
No, I know her. She's an Instagram golfer.
I was saying more for the people who don't know because I I obviously know who their whole goal is. So, wait, wait.
Does she have... She's a good golfer.
Okay, yeah. All right, okay.
Yeah, so that was a false flag bonk on Hank's part. It was a setup piece of shit.
Okay, so LivTor. Congratulations to LivTor.
Yeah. Sorry, Jake.
I'm sorry to ruin the LivTor's moment. I thought it was bonk of the year, but we didn't even have that.
Yeah. Yeah, I screwed that up.
I'm sorry. We retired that with PFT.
He just won Bonk of the Year. Okay.
Good job. Live Tour.
Congratulations. They needed some good publicity.
There it is. The takey of the year for League of the Year, the Live Tour.
All right. Next up, PFT.
All right. The next category is the Retirement of the year.
Ooh. A lot of people walked away from the game on top.
Some people walked away from the game in third to fourth place, but it was still tremendous. Yep.
Our first nominee is Coach K. Ooh.
He had a great retirement. He did.
Great year. 18 months.
Yeah. 18-month retirement tour.
Maybe a little more, yeah. Two-year retirement tour.
Yeah. he's probably announced his unretirement already by the time this airs uh our second nominee is jay wright coach jay yeah coach jay just he he did it classy just tipped his hat and said i'll see you guys later graceful tom brady tom brady retired this year people forget that he did and then adam schefter unretired him.
Tom Brady re-retired. Then Tom Brady re-unretired himself.
It was actually great for Tom Brady because everyone did, including this show, are like, holy shit, Tom Brady is incredible. Look at all these stats, like, you know, segment.
Every show did that. And then he unretired.
So he gets to do that again. Yeah.
It's like if you fake your own death,

you get to watch all the nice things people say about you.

Can you stop?

John Cena's friend.

Oh yeah.

You had a friend that pretended to have a friend that died.

Yeah.

Okay.

The next nominee is Antonio Brown.

Yeah.

Great retirement.

He rage quit in the middle of a Jets-Bucks game.

He just left at halftime,

threw his gloves into the stands, had Danny Boy hustle hard, pick him up. Our guy, yeah.
Drove around for a little bit. I love doing the takeies because a lot of these, I obviously didn't forget that Antonio Brown did that.
I just, being reminded is fun. Yeah.
You know what I mean? It's a nice look back at the entire year and the craziness that happened. I think that we should give some respect to Bruce Arians

for managing to not have Antonio Brown freak out for as long as he did.

Yes.

You know, we do give credit to Mike Tomlin for that,

for managing AB and Le'Veon Bell at the same time,

when both of them were just, like, way out there.

Right.

But I think that Arians needs a little bit of credit on this one.

Agreed.

So the winner of the retirement of the year is...

Wait, wait, wait.

Before we get to it, I want to say something here.

The person that I got to do this cameo, really bad job.

Oh.

Really bad job.

Okay.

And I think it has to do with his coaching that he's received in the past.

Ooh, okay.

Hey, Jake.

Joey Baker here. Hope you're doing well.
It's a beautiful day in Michigan. Just wanted to say hello.
It's a great year this past season. A lot of success on the court.
An incredible team, an incredible coach, and memories that will last a lifetime. Facts.
So I hope you're doing well, and hope you have a good day. Just didn't read the script at all.
Completely went off script. Did he think that cameo was for Coach K? Because he's like, hope you're doing well? I have no idea.
No, he said, hey, Jake. Yeah, that's true.

It also is interesting because Joey Baker, in the memories that he listed so eloquently there,

when he said a lot of great memories, he didn't say his senior day and his senior walking out on the court

because Coach K stole that from him.

Yeah, so he never had a...

Do you want to read your script?

Jersey retirement.

No, no. Yeah.
No, I think just know that my script as always was incredible and that performance just it was a slap in the face of college basketball yes the entire sport yes yes so coach k coach k coach k congratulations coach k what an award hopefully he uh displays this prominently in the office. He refuses to give up.
Yeah. All right.
Next up. Finger of the year.
Yeah. Loaded.
You'd think, oh, finger of the year. What the hell? Loaded finger of the year category.
The first up we have horns down. Horns down for finger of the year.
Remember last summer at at the uh big 12 uh media day the commissioner said uh that horns down the symbol could be subject to a penalty against them let me put it this way big 12 coordinator officials greg burke said at big 12 media day if you do a horns down to a texas player as an opponent that's probably going to be a foul huge huge There's a time and a place for it, you said. So you're allowed to go horns down when you're not playing against the Longhorns.
Right, right. Next up, we have Urban Meyer at the bar with his finger knuckles deep in a young co-ed's asshole.
He is Finger of the Year nominee. We have Eli Manning on monday night football the manning cast he gave the finger to the listeners all-time moment double bird how could he do that eli how could you um and then finally we have raising canes chicken fingers because raising canes one love this actually is not an ad they're not uh advertising on this specific episode but we love them so much and i think we ate like a hundred of them uh for the final four in new orleans can't wait till it comes to new york city they're really beautiful they are they are all right drum roll please for finger of the year it's urban meyer's finger at the bar of course it is knuckle deep in a butthole now which one was it it was it was it middle finger was it ring finger i think he was switching back and forth.
Yeah, probably. Yeah, he was doing both.
The whole hand. The shocker? Yeah, his entire hand is immortalized.
The Dane Cook super finger? You remember that one? Yes. The middle two? Yes, yes.
So Urban Meyer, great award. He's now won.
Did he win? No, he didn't win the take of the year. That was for Colin Coward.
So Urban Meyer has one award here.

That's big.

Finger of the year.

That's actually, it's a new award, but I feel like this one's going to stick around.

Yes, yes.

And it might be named after Urban Meyer going forward.

I think that's how impressive his performance was this year.

Okay.

All right.

Next award is for Southerner of the Year.

Southerner of the Year.

Part of my take.

The first nominee, the Colorado Avalanche. Yes.
Won the Stanley Cup. Big, big performance in Southerners.
The second nominee is Brian Kelly and his whole family. Yep.
My family. Third nominee is Ben Mintz.
So here at Barstool Sports, we haven't had anybody from the South. And it's been a big glaring hole in our coverage for a long time, especially considering the big stuff that Mississippi's doing.
And so when we got Ben Mintz, I dare say the entire company changed. Yep, I would say so too.
I think we've all become a little bit more like Ben Mintz and the direction that he sent this organization in. If you know anything about the Barstool Sports organizational chart it goes dave number one hank number two ben mentz three erica four yep and it's you know when someone's like we're gonna go international when we hired ben mentz we went national finally yeah it was beautiful look at what the stock was when ben was hired correct probably compared to what it is right now correct Correct.
Correct. Yes.
And then the fourth nominee is Cam Smith. Yes.
The Deep South. Yeah.
Australia in it, mate. Yes.
Now Live Tour golfer, the Open champion. Wait, he's not on the Live Tour.
He's joined the Live Tour. No, that was just a...
Allegedly. It hasn't been confirmed.
Maybe by now. It has?

Maybe by now. I think he's going to join the Live Tour.
What are your stances if he has at this point? I think that they paid him too much. Yeah.
I think they paid him too little. There it is.
Yeah. Yeah.
If you're looking for guidance, there it is. All right.
And the winner is... Do we have a cameo for this? Yes, we do.
hi i'm brandon walker of barstoolsports.com and thank you guys for having me i am here to present the takey award the 2022 takey award for barstool for the southerner of the year the southerner of the year i'm in the beautiful wilds of mississippi right now i'm enjoying life it's wonderful out here. You can hear the bugs.
And the Southerner of the Year. I'm in the beautiful wilds of Mississippi right now.

I'm enjoying life. It's wonderful out here.
You can hear

the bugs. And the Southerner of the Year

is...

Southerner of the Year is

Ben Mintz.

Yes!

That's deserved. That's well deserved.
He certainly works hard. He doesn't have D-cup titties.
Congratulations. The 2022 takey to Ben Metz.
Ben Metz. That's who won that award.
Thank you. I punched my ass.
He threw a chair.

A lot of bugs. A lot of bugs in that video.

I don't know if Ben's actually going to find out that he won this award because he works that hard.

Just nose down.

Yeah, it's going to take probably, I'd say, around Christmas when we take a little break.

He'll find out that he won the award.

But much deserved, Southerner of the Year.

He deserved it, and he was great. We finally have arrived in the south thank you mincy thank you mincy um all right before we get to the next award uh pft you want to do a quick ad yes before we get to the next award i want to talk to you about roman they've got a brand new product out there when i said the name of the product billy popped straight up in his seat it's about testosterone we're, folks.
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was just a breakdown of all the times that baker mayfield didn't throw it to odell beckham jr and it was so well done and over the top because he used everybody hurts by rem as the song choice and it was just a beautiful beautiful video of baker mayfield refusing to throw it to odell beckham. He got his son a Super Bowl.
Yes, yes, he got his son a Super Bowl. Some may say that was after LeBron tweeted free OBJ, but either way, all-time dad move.
Next up, we got Jim Boeheim. Jim Boeheim, who somehow got – this could have been wild – somehow got both his sons on the Syracuse roster.
That's wild.

I don't know how. It's crazy, too.
Yeah. Because it's so wild that they're his kids that he raised.
Yes. And now he's also coaching them on a university team.
Correct. Usually that just goes to the best players, but it turns out that his two sons are two of the best players.
Correct. Wild and awesome for a dad.
dad the next up is Coach K because his grandson who wildly was on the Duke roster I don't know how that happened he's a wild driver wild driver he got pulled over rested for DWI with Paolo Bencaro in the car and Coach K for some reason that just disappeared I went and I looked and he actually said in the moment right the day after, he said, we're reviewing a legal matter involving two members of the men's basketball team. Any further actions as a result of this situation will ultimately be determined by the vice president slash director of athletics and university officials.
So he basically was like, look, this is not in my hands. This is now in the athletic department's hands.
So good for Coach K to put that in the athletic department's hands. I think it probably came down to the assistant director of athletics, Debbie Severino.
She probably had the decision who is also Coach K's daughter and the mother of Michael Severino who got got pulled over so but good job by coach K he was like you guys handle it a quick question big cat when it goes down to the athletic department how how much of the Duke athletic department is financed by the basketball team I don't know it's yeah it's it seems like a lot I think it's probably a lot I just imagine that the the way it was handled internally when Coach K was like, I'm not going to deal with this. I'm going to elevate it to the people above me who happen to be my daughter, who's the mother of the player in question.
Debbie Severino probably just washed Michael Severino's mouth out with soap and was like, all right, there's your suspension. He was basically saying, no matter what the police choose to do i promise you the punishment my house is going to be even more yes yes yes um and then last up herschel walker who i think is running for senate in georgia um and he just has new kids come out of the woodwork every other day uh he has one son that everyone knew about and then three more that have appeared.
In the last, like, three months? Yeah. So he's dad of the year.
Probably a couple more coming. Yeah.
My brother hit me up the other day. He's like, yeah, five more on the way.
Yeah, dad of the year. Yeah, yeah.
Let's order another five spot for Marshall Walker. Dad of the year.
All right. The winner, we have a presenter.
This seems like a conflict of interest. But let's – no, we didn't get it.
So Hank was supposed to... He was going to get someone.
Who were you going to get, Hank? You want to say? Matt Jones. Matt Jones.
Okay, our good friend Matt Jones? No. Other Matt Jones.
The other Matt Jones. Which Matt Jones? He happened...
I was just kind of looking through the basketball section, just going for someone reasonably priced. Coincidentally, he was a member of the 2015 national champion.
Oh, that's such a shame. I know.
Such a shame. I know.
Damn. Hank, do you have a speech that you'd like to give on Coach K's behalf? Yeah, because Coach K is our winner, dad slash grandfather of the year.
Let's let Jake read the script as Matt Jones. No, we didn't read PFTs.
All PFTs. Alright, fine.
Yeah, I mean, I think, listen, everyone has to deal with tough stuff. Kids are kids.
And Coach K... He's like 22.
I mean... Yeah, kid.
Yeah, he's a kid. Billy's 23.
Billy faces consequences on this show. Yeah, and you don't think he got worse consequence? Absolutely.
Billy only drives drunks on days at end with Y. Okay, that's fucked up.
That's not cool. Okay.
But no, I'm sure he's honored this award. He's probably won more awards than any coach in the history of college basketball considering he's the greatest coach of all time, most wins of all time.
And so I'm sure he appreciates it. He's got two takeies, and I would like, Jake, if you could maybe send the certificate.
And he's a 2015 national champion. That was kind of the emphasis on the takey award.
Not as many ACC championships as Roy Williams since Roy's been in town, though. Just think about it.
So, Jake, can you figure out a way to send both those certificates to Durham? Make sure sure they go to coach k's office i'll do my

best he has both of those now two-time winner wow congratulations coach wow what a what a year for him uh okay pft your next one you got our next one we've got beef of the year beef of the year surprise surprise our first nominee beef of the year speaking of coach k big cat first coach k for taking him down, eliminating him, ruining his retirement. I did do that.
Spreading the good word around New Orleans. Yep.
You were basically the Westboro Baptist Church, but for Coach K. Yep.
Showing up, picketing his last appearance, sending out flyers. Our second nominee is Aaron Rodgers versus vaccinations.
Mm-hmm. Aaron Rodgers has gone on a crusade against vaccinations.

He hates them.

Hates them.

He hates them.

Aaron Rodgers will never fucking put a needle in his arm unless it's going to draw two lions on it in front of the solar system with ink.

Yes, correct.

Third nominee, Kyler Murray versus the Arizona Cardinals team social media accounts

I kind of forgot about this until last week that's it's so weird that like this is how he's handling his contract stuff and like not being happy with not making the playoffs he's like I'm going to unfollow my employer on Instagram yes is this the future of beefs Billy I think it might be Bugs.

I think they're going from beef to bugs.

What do you mean?

Oh, because it's Don't eat the bugs reading bugs got it yeah i'm not eating the bugs uh cricket flour i've had cricket flour before oh okay i noticed that you've become more of a beta um yeah i'm i'm a gay bug shout out adam friedland um our third our fourth nominee is jokic brothers versus the morris brothers that was awesome that was a great beef because i don't think america knew that much about the jokic brothers before this happened and it turns out that they're sweet they're awesome yes and they also i think they didn't have i think they had an egg avatar or like a no-name avatar yes they did and they were just and they shared an account yeah they shared an account they just like, we will come and beat your ass. Yeah, I think they're probably the scariest people in America right now.
Next nominee is Nick Saban versus John Cena. I think that's actually a misprint.
I think it's Nick Saban versus Jimbo Fisher. Yes, it is.
Yes. That makes way more sense.
Nick Saban. You know what? Fuck it.
Nick Saban versus John Cena. Yes.
The beef. Who could forget? Yeah.
One of the biggest beefs we had this year. I'm on team Saban.
I'm going to go with our guy, Cena. Okay.
Yeah. Next nominee.
He's had a tough year. Yeah.
Skip Bayless versus Stephen A. Smith.
There was a lot of back and forth going on. Who begged who to join whose show? Who's Batman? Who's Robin? It's funny that we can actually have the Batman-Robin debate about the guys that invented the Batman-Robin debate about basketball.

Correct.

And then they got a nasty little divorce.

They're seeing other people right now, but they're still madly in love.

They end up sewing.

They patch things up at the end, and one day they will get back together.

As we've said on this show,

I believe it should be the day that LeBron James retires.

They should get together and debate his legacy. Yes, absolutely.
That's what we need. Pay-per-view.
And our final nominee, Urban Meyer versus accountability. Yes.
Urban Meyer versus accountability. Mad beef going on there.
Urban Meyer hates accountability. Accountability has not been seen in a room with Urban Meyer in at least five years.
You remember he called his entire coaching staff losers, who he hired. Also, Aaron Hernandez killed two guys when he was playing for them.
Correct. At Florida.
Correct. And Urban Meyer was like, but he's a pretty big red zone threat.
Yeah, he is a matchup nightmare. He is.
And so our Beef of the Year award winner for the 2022 Takey Awards is Urban Meyer versus Accountability. All-time beef this year.
Double winner. They slugged it out.
Yeah, wow. Coach K and Coach Urban.
Yeah, big year for both of them. Urban Meyer now has as many takeys as he does NFL wins.
That's huge. And you know what? I'm sensing a theme between these two guys.
The only two guys on this list that enjoy faking injuries to avoid accountability. Yes, yes.
So Urban Meyer, huge takey for him. Okay, next up, the comeback meme of the year.
Big year for memes making a comeback. We had the rock shut up bitch reply that has made a comeback from the WWE attitude era.
We have the Hitler meme, which we kind of actually were, I think we're the only ones that brought it back. But it did numbies.
It did do numbies. We have Harambe, our sweet prince.
And then we have the, hey Kev, how was your weekend meme from the office. Again, have been our own doing memes is addicted to it but that's okay this is really the memes of the year memes find something that works and then he's like okay I'm going to do this all the time and it always works it always does numbies alright the winner do we have a guest presenter we do not Billy why don't you do it because this you were going to have a guest presenter But some of these people didn't get back to us in time No fault of ours So the winner of this year's Meme Comeback of the Year award Yes Is Harambe Yes Harambe Sweet, sweet prince Brought the Bengals all the way to the Super Bowl Couldn't finish the job But it was his spirit that carried them all the way there If you look at it on a sliding scale If we're grading on a curve The Bengals losing in the Super Bowl Is worth, like, that's a dynasty That's worth at least four Super Bowls In the Rams conversion chart You know, like, one Super Bowl for Los Angeles Doesn't mean shit When your home system or appliance breaks down, American Home Shield will help fix or replace the covered item, no matter its age.
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The Island Boys. Oh, that's too bad.
They're on Island time. They might get back to us by the time it- Yeah, true.
They will.

True, true.

Okay.

They better not say anything bad about Hank this time.

Yeah, that was fucked up.

They called him a bitch.

Well, they didn't call him.

They sang it.

Yeah, they did.

Hank is a bitch.

The island boys.

I told them specifically not to say that about Hank.

Yeah.

And then they went and did it.

They're just-

You can't cage an island boy.

You can't. A songbird.
Okay, next up, PFT. What do we got next? Next up, we got got that dog in him, Haver of the Year.
Who got the most dog in him this year? Our nominees are Pat Bev. Yeah.
Patrick Beverly definitely had that dog in him in the play-in tournament. Yes.
Second nominee, DK Met that dog in him Yeah, he does, trying to have a threesome Foursome, foursome, three ladies Next nominee is Joey Chestnut Got that dog in him He just broke the cherry pie record Yeah. Hoof.
Dog. Next nominee is Zach Wilson.

Mm-hmm.

Because he's got that dog in him.

He's put that dog in other people, too.

Putting that dog.

Yeah.

He's got that dog in him.

Hoof.

Hoof.

Hoof.

Allegedly, right, Billy?

Allegedly.

And so the winner is, Billy, you actually have a cameo for this.

Sorry, Billy, you hired a presenter for this award. Yes.
Hey, congratulations, Zach Wilson from Jake Marsh, man. You got no quid in you.
That's outstanding. A heck of an award for Pardon My Take.
Man, you won this thing. You kept going.
You didn't stop. Persistence is the key, and that's how you do do it you they said got a lot of dog in you man you get after that stuff you need to make sure that you keep doing that when you're wrestling an alligator you don't quit when you're tired you go and tell alligators tired so you keep rolling man always remember that hard work can beat talent when talent doesn't work hard.
Congratulations again. It's great that he has no idea what it's for.
Perfect. That was the coach from the famous clip.
Bob Green. Yes.
Oh, my God. Fantastic.
It's always low-key an insult when you tell somebody, like, hey, hard work will beat talent when talent doesn't work hard. They're basically saying you suck.
Yeah. But maybe if you try hard enough that you become annoying.
Someone will quit. Yeah.
They'll get sick of playing against you. Yeah.
Someone at some point is going to quit, and you'll be there to fill that void. That was basically what every single coach I've ever had in any sport has told me.
Yes. Yes.
It is kind of a sneaky diss. All right.
Before we get to the next one, PFT, you got another ad. Yeah.
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Hey, next up, we have the Friend of the Year Award.

Yes, yes.

So first nominee for Friend of the Year, Urban Meyer, who's already won.

He's going to gobble up every award.

He is nominated for Friend of the Year because he gave Tim Tebow a job,

who he didn't need a job, but he gave him a job, had him come to camp.

Not a distraction.

Tim Tebow decided 10 years too late that he should be a tight end.

Didn't make the team.

He also was.

He had a friend that was going through some really difficult times in Columbus, which

is why he stayed overnight after the Thursday night game.

Friend everywhere.

He was trying to lend a helping hand, Big Cat.

Yes.

Next up, we have John Cena from our famous interview with John Cena, who had a friend pass away. And we send our condolences again to John Cena because it was not funny to joke about anything death related because he had a friend pass away.
So that's a good friend, John Cena. Regardless of the fact that he was wearing a superhero costume.
Correct. With purple gloves.
And, finally, we have Jameis Winston's trainer for friend of the year because he's just there and he's... I mean, at some point, you can only whip a guy with a towel and throw pool noodles at his head.
That's friend of the year. Yeah.
I don't understand how he's coming up with the different exercises. You just know that his trainer has to be thinking every hour of every day that he's not with Jameis Winston.
He's planning new exercises for Jameis to try. Yes.
Okay, we're going to put bees in your pants next time. Yes.
I'm going to shoot you with a paintball gun. Yeah.
Have we tried getting out of the pocket while skydiving? I've greased up this eel. Okay.
So I want you to swing it around your head like a lasso with one hand. I'm going to hit you in the stomach with a wiffle ball bat.
I could just imagine them playing five-on-five basketball but Jameis has a football the entire time. Dude, that'd be sick.
Yeah, it would be so sick. That would actually teach you a lot.
I kind of want to play foot basketball. Yes.
Yes. Alright, the winner, a friend of the year, it's John Cena.
It had to be John Cena. John Cena repping his friends.
No jokes. Just straight again.
Condolences to John Cena and his friend who passed away. So we hope that he's doing okay that he's.
Well, his friend's dead. No.
Oh, okay. We hope John's doing.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yes.
Yes. You know, eventually you will move on.
Yeah. Eventually we can make jokes again, but now is not the time.
No. So John Cena friend of the year.
All right. Next okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yes, yes.
You know, eventually you will move on at some point. Yeah, eventually we can make jokes again.
But now is not the time. No.
So John Cena, friend of the year. All right, next up.
Next up, we have Lib of the Year. Ooh.
This is a very prestigious award. It is.
We've had this award. This is, what, the seventh year probably? Yeah, I think Chris Long's won it like six times.
Chris Long and Billy, they're the goats of the award. It's like when you look at the AFC quarterbacks that have made the Super Bowl over the past 12, 15 years.
That's what Chris Long and Billy have been doing. Just going back and forth, duking it out.
So it's no surprise that Chris Long is nominated for Lib of the Year once again. Okay.
Next nominee is Billy Football. Yes.
Billy Football nominated again for Lib of the Year. He just decided nobody wants to work anymore.
Yep stuff going on there Yeah, Billy got a check from Biden and stayed home Yes, yes Minus 1,000 each, Billy and Chris When they had the biggest odds for this Yes Next nominee is Jack Del Rio For apologizing Yeah, totally For calling January 6th a dust-up Really, you let the woke mob get to him. Real men don't apologize.
As opposed to the real mob. Yep.
The next nominee for Lib of the Year is Rex Chapman. This is more of a career recognition award for outstanding work in the field of being a lib.
Rex Chapman is the go-to lib guy on Twitter. He just logs on every day, and he's like, I'm just going to lib in your face.
He just libs off. Yes.
Next, our final nominee is Clay Travis. Oh! Clay Travis nominated for Lib of the Year for being pro-choice.
Oh. For being pro-choice.
What the fuck? Yeah, kind of fucked up, Clay. Yeah, really fucked up.
Really fucked up. And then the winner of the 2022 takey for Lib of the year we have a tie what we have a tie between best friends rex chapman and clay travis oh my god congratulations to both you guys i'm sure you'll have a lot to talk about very proud of both your your achievements in the form of liberty this year that is great because it's like participation trophy everyone gets a gets a lib of

the year yeah you know what let's give let's give trophies to the other ones too but the winners

are rex and clay yeah let's make sure that we tweet that at them that's a that's a great

great honor congrats guys yes um okay next up we have pervert of the year a lot of perverts this

year uh first up andrew cuomo for being a big time pervert slapping asses kissing people doing

Thank you. A lot of perverts this year.
First up, Andrew Cuomo for being a big time pervert, slapping asses, kissing people, doing a lot of shit. You remember when he showed up for that press conference and he was wearing a real tight fitting dress shirt? Yeah.
Everybody was like, what the fuck? Andrew Cuomo's got a nipple ring? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. It was also great because Andrew Cuomo's story arc went from, oh my God, daddy vibes to, whoa, this guy is a fucking freak.
Yeah. No, it went from, I want this guy to fuck me raw to, I can't believe this guy just fucked me raw.
Yeah, right. Exactly.
All right. What a sicko.
Yeah. God damn it.
Next up, we have Max Homa for being Italian and also procreating this year. So big time pervert move to have sex.
We have Deshaun Watson. Don't think we need to explain that.
He is definitely in the pervert category. And Lifetime Achievement, he's just going to be nominated every year.
Jeffrey Toobin for jerking off in front of all of his coworkers and then having to go on air and just be like, yeah, I did that uh i jerked off wasn't that last year yeah but he's lifetime achievement yeah he's going to be nominated every year all right the winner of pervert of the year pft's got a uh guest presenter for us i'm chris hansen and i'm here to present a very prestigious award and we have a lot of great sicko nominees this time around. Drumroll, please.
Max Homa. That's right.
Max Homa. Why don't you take a seat right over there? Because you have won Pervert of the Year, my friend.
Wow. Congrats, Max.
Congrats, Max. We should have also said Max.
Not only he's having a baby, he is Italianian but he didn't really protest uh the idea of tiger fucking his wife so big time pervert he's he's in italy right now thinking about it yes exactly so max congratulations you are the pervert of the year uh next up this one's a big one next up uh this one's a big one this is a big one now there's a lot of weight that comes on our shoulders with this next award because we've been, unfortunately, our timing hasn't been great with this award. I think so.
This is the Tommy Lasorda Still Alive Person of the Year in memory of John Madden who won the award last year. Yep.
That says a mouthful right there. So, yeah.
So, last year John Madden won it and the year before Tommy Lasorda won it. Yes.
won it yes okay so this next winner i guess you could say they've got a lot to live up to yes big time hopefully john cena's not friends with any of them the first nominee is willie mays willie mays still alive yeah all right still alive willie barry bonds tweeted hey kid yeah pictured to be it appeared to be a picture of him at his funeral yep willie was just asleep he was asleep he's just taking a nap yes uh next nominee is joe biden yeah still alive as of now uh i actually just saw like an hour ago he got covid oh he did and he might have cancer because he slipped up and said that yeah and he can't stop falling off bikes like this this motherfucker's gonna die he is he is really tempting it he's he's going up against death's door and being like hey you ready i mean his son will probably accidentally kill him at some point yes uh next nominee is queen elizabeth who she's still the queen mom in it oh yeah husband died That guy died? Yeah No way, he was so spry Queen Elizabeth, it'd be very funny if she got cosetted by that absolute unit that walks around Oh yeah If she just sat down on a chair Oh, she crawled under my ass for warmth That's what I'm hoping for That'd be a proper way to go out The next nominee is Jack Nicklaus Ooh Jack Nicklaus still Yes. So we saw him at the Open, saw him at the Masters.
A lot of people did not realize. All-time major champion winner, not Tiger Woods.
In fact, it's Jack Nicklaus. Yep, that is a fact.
And then the final nominee is Sister Jean. Sister Jean still alive, that old bitch.
She's alive. She's alive.
Rolling around. She's a witch, so she'll never die.
You can throw in water. She'll swim away.
And the winner of the Tommy Lasorda Still Alive Person of the Year in Memory of John Madden is Queen Elizabeth. Whoa! Queen Elizabeth.
Congratulations to Queen. One of her stupid fucking jubilees this year.
I can't remember which one it was. Cherry or diamond or something like that.
But yeah, next year we're all rooting for you you're gonna stay alive yeah for sure all right uh next up we have the longest injury recovery of the year some people had some trouble with injuries this year uh the first nominee is kawaii leonard who i still don't even know what he injured he tears acl i think he tore his acl but people just completely forgot that Kawhi Leonard, who I still don't even know what he injured. Did he tear his ACL? I think he tore his ACL.
But people just completely forgot that Kawhi Leonard was even around. Yeah, when everyone did their top ten players, Kawhi just got forgotten because that's just every other year he's just gone for the year.
Zion Williamson, who was injured for the year, looking quite healthy in his recovery. Not missing many meals.
Yep, was injured this year. Ben Simmons, who had the double injury.
He was taking time off for mental health, and then he hurt his back, and everyone thought he was going to play, and then he just didn't play. So congrats to Ben for being nominated.
And then finally, Stephen A. Smith Smith who is actually recovering right now as we speak from a lot of injuries so he tweeted appreciate the love I've been receiving from everyone who's missed me on first take I'm out because I'm rehabbing from shoulder surgery partial tear rotator cuff and bicep along with frayed labrum plus a bone spur.
Aging sucks, but it is what it is.

Back next month.

This is just crazy because in dog years,

Stephen A. Smith missing a month of first take is like 10 years.

Yeah, it's crazy because Stephen A. Smith,

he should just say, I don't want to work in August.

Right.

That's what this means.

Your mouth is a long way from your shoulders, Stephen A. Smith.
Smith. Okay, so the winner.
We have a guest presenter for this. Alright, the takeies are here again.
And I am proud to announce the winner of the longest recovery from an injury this season. A man who has no heart.
A man who is literally scared of playing. A man who wishes that he had a hammock for the sidelines that he does not intend to ever play.
Yes, that's right. I am talking about Ben Simmons.
Congratulations on your Tiki Award and enjoy your season in that drama box shithole. The Brooklyn Nets.
Oh, what a team. And that is our good friend Frank the Tank, who when I hit him up asking him for that video, he just replied, just about to have pizza, so we'll have to wait.
But he did get it to us. That should be a nominee for our next category.
What? Oh, for Alpha of the Year? Yeah. yeah yeah he does alpha everyone um so congratulations to ben simmons okay next up alpha of the year pft yes it was a big year in alpha yeah i'm actually looking at some of the nominees right now i don't like this yeah so i don't i don't know i don't know what where what direction we're gonna go but i do know that two of the nominees are kind of tied together.
Big Cat got alphaed a lot this year. That's fine.
It happens. But one of our nominees would say a true alpha knows when to concede.
And that's Dan Campbell, who's nominated for alpha of the year. Yes.
And then the other two that I mentioned, Ryan Fitzpatrick alphaed you by simply thumbs upping one of your texts to him saying, hey, we're going to be in Ashburn, Virginia tomorrow. We're interviewing Coach Rivera.
Would love to interview you too. And he thumbs up.
He thumbs up. But he came on the show.
Yes, he did. The other is Kevin Durant for leaving you on red.
He is just constantly thumbs upping me. Yeah.
Thumbs upping you all day. Yep.
The other nominees are Mike Greenberg for taking everybody's show at ESPN and simply running the station by himself. He is a true alpha.
And then Jake Marsh, our darling Jake, is also nominated for Alpha of the Year just for excellence in the field of being an alpha. His alpha just seeps out at all times.
When he hit me with the hang the banner.

Yeah.

Just casually.

It cuts so deep.

Or when we played tennis and he just let out that let's go.

And it was just like, oh, God.

Yeah.

When he does anything to Hank.

Yep.

Yeah.

When he has any interaction with Hank, period.

Oh, the Celtics beat the Heat.

That ended it.

Yeah.

But I mean.

Facts.

You somehow managed to alpha him when he hit you in the nuts. Yes.
Because everybody was like, Hank, what the fuck? Yeah, right. That's way over the line.
Yes. Also could have been nominated for Slap of the Year.
Yeah. Coming up soon.
So alpha of the year, again, it's Ryan Fitzpatrick, Kevin Durant, Mike Greenberg, Jake Marsh, and Dan Campbell. And the winner of the 2022 alpha of the year, drumroll, our darling Jake.
Yeah. Jake wins again.
Thank you, guys. Yeah, you're welcome.
It's an honor. Back-to-back years now.
Oh, see, that's casual Alpha right there. I didn't even know it was back-to-back.
I had no idea. Honestly, I'm not even sure, so I might have been wrong there.
Why not? No, now you're going to look at it and be like, oh, I was right about that. Actually, three years now.
Sorry. Not three years.
I didn't start this joke until me and Hank. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. When you outfit him.
Yeah. With the step over.
No. But yeah, it's an honor.
Thank you to AWLs. And yeah.
What's the secret, Jake, to being a true alpha? Just keep your head down and be myself. and you guys just think I'm an alpha.
Well, you are. Yeah.
There's no thinking. It is the fact.
You just said the secret to alpha is being an alpha. Yeah.
You're an alpha. I agree.
Through and through. All right.
Great job, Jake. Congratulations.
Next up, we have Slap of the Year, which I'll throw in nominee Hank slapping Jake in in the nuts that absolutely should be a nominee for uh slap of the year we also have will smith slapping chris rock uh whatever happened to all those people who thought that was fake billy what happened to you what happened to you his uh tour sold real well oh really it did and he talks about it time, right? Chris Rock, one of the biggest comedians of all time?

Yes, Hank, you wouldn't believe it.

There was that one show where everyone was like,

see? And it was all secondary tickets that he didn't get a dollar from.

I just think it's bullshit that Hollywood

is now blackballing Will Smith for the slap.

Yeah. If they were smart,

they would put Will Smith on everything now.

Because Will Smith is hot. Yes, real hot in the streets.

Jock Peterson for getting slapped by Tommy Pham. So actually this should be Tommy Pham's award if he wins.
Tommy Pham slapping Jock Peterson in the outfield before a game over a fantasy football fight. We have video evidence.
I mean, that's a story. Jake, put that, put that in your, in your calendar.
Can you just remind us that story like November 7th? Just give us a reminder. Remember when two Major League Baseball players got in a fight over fantasy football and one of them slapped the other.
It was a fight over using hyper-aggressive GIFs in a group chat about fantasy football. Yes, and a little waiver wire, too.

Yeah, the stashing.

Yeah, the stashing.

And then we also have Juwan Howard when he smushed my coach,

Greg Gard, in the face.

Well, he slapped.

He smushed Joe Krabbenhoff.

Did he slap Greg Gard?

No, I think he just smushed Krabbenhoff.

He smushed, but it was – we're going to count that as a slap. Yeah, that's a slap.
All right, the winner of Slap of the Year, big year for slaps, it's Tommy Pham. Tommy Pham wins Slap of the Year.
I mean, just an all-time story. One of the best stories we've had in a long time that still is hilarious just thinking about.
I can't wait for November 7th. That will be official Tommy Pham Day.
I do think that slapping has made a comeback recently because you've seen a lot of those. I think it's Russian fights that they have or Russian slap competitions where they stand at the same table.
I still don't know the rules of that because every time I watch it, there's a guy that just like uses whole body and slaps the shit out of the guy. And then another guy that just goes straight arm, 45 degree angle, casual slap.
And that guy always loses. I love slaps.
Slaps are great. You can't really get that hurt from a slap.
It's also just a very... Once you get slapped, you either have to go full out fight or you just have to eat it and walk away.
I would rather get knocked out with a punch than slapped really hard, disrespectfully. The slap suggests you're lesser, not worth punching.
Yeah, that's right. I'm not going to waste my fist on this.
I'm just going to go open hand. Okay, next up.
We've got a few more. Next up, we have trend of the year.
The trend of the year this year in 2022. The first nominee is taking your salary in Bitcoin or in crypto.

That's real hot.

A lot of guys took all their salary.

I think Russell Okung was patient one on this, but I know Spencer Dinwiddie did it.

A few other guys have done it.

I'm taking my salary here.

Part of my taking apes.

So I get three apes an episode and a couple slurp juices.

The second nominee is- I get ass coin. Ass coin? Yeah, that's all I get.
I got mine last year- There's so much ass coin. In Cum Rocket.
Yeah. In Cummies, the market really tanked.
There was a cum bubble. Yeah.
And it popped. Ripping Pants is nominated for the year.
Ripping Pants from the back. Billy got his pants ripped off multiple times.
Once while talking to a girl. Once while at a boxing match, right? I got my pants ripped off multiple times once while talking to a girl once while at a at a boxing match right i got my pants ripped off my balls flew out billy put my balls on tiktok and there have been a couple other pants rips going around in the office will copton got one pant leg ripped yep uh next nominee is cap cap trend of the year everyone's saying cap the big trend the kids are and right.
It's the year of the cap. Yep.
And then the final nominee is the crying face filter. Yes.
On Snapchat. That was real hot.
It was. For the whole year.
And it still kind of fucks me up every now and then when I see it and I'm like, wait, is that person actually crying? Mm-hmm. Nope.
Filter. Yep.
Actually a great time to be a crier. For sure.
He's like, no, 100 yeah mr borelli's living large yes uh the winner of trend of the year is ripping pants ripping pants congratulations hell yes billy billy you are you are the uh the pied piper of the pants rip he brought it to us i remember we were in Vegas and he said, hey, I need you to rip my pants. And I was like, okay.
And then it was one of those moments. I trusted Billy and it went dummy viral.
I'd like to shout out the original video. I saw people ripping pants.
It was a bunch of dudes drinking beer in a basement. Fuck yes.
That's where all good trends start. They were all wearing jeans, and one guy was leaning against the bar, and his friend grabbed his pants and ripped them.
What? But it was harder than some of our clean rips. I think we originated the clean rip.
Yeah. This guy got tossed around like a rag doll while he was trying to rip off his friend's pants.
Yeah, the first pants i ripped of yours were very old jeans and you're like these will rip i also i love the people who just can't enjoy a good pants ripping and they're like it was pre-cut i also love the people who are like that's so fucked up how would you do like how could you do that um just really really great like gamut of internet that we have with the pants ripping. We're paid professionals.

Don't try this at home.

Yeah, that's a fact.

True.

That's a fact.

Okay, next up, we got four left.

This is the fourth to last.

This is ratio of the year.

So very prestigious award.

Do we know who won it last year?

Was it the guy who said he didn't come on his cats?

That was a couple years ago.

He's like, I didn't fuck my cats.

Last year, we had five nominees.

All five were Kevin Durant.

Oh, okay.

And the winner was his interaction with Shannon Sharp.

Y'all drunk uncle out here lying again.

When did I say this, Shannon Sharp?

Wow.

I'm trying to see the context.

It was deleted.

This construction sucks.

It was deleted. All right.
So, good segue because Kevin Durant is nominated only once this year. He had – there was someone named Cuffs the Legend on Twitter said, Kyrie needs a better team around him.
Kevin Durant quote tweeted it and said, Kyrie needs a better team around him. And then a picture, very funny picture, of a dude just sitting on his phone in an empty apartment room with no furniture.
Oh, wow. Very funny tweet.
That ended up having 37,000 retweets. And the original tweet only had 39 retweets.
Incredible. Incredible ratio.
The next up, we had Mike Florio on, and we found one that he got ratioed on. And then I went and I looked.
He's been ratioed many times. But actually, the biggest ratio he had was his steak picture.
Mike Florio is the last person, our good friend, last person to enter the world and honestly give a steak picture expecting good results. Nothing good happens.
He said, trying this again, I needed to give steak twitter something to chew on wagyu strip 18 ounce it looks like tuna the way he cooked it it has uh 12 over 1200 quote tweets and only 52 tweets that's also another thing about the ratio the ratio is now changed where it's really about quote tweets like the quote tweets are what what gets you um the the next up is the Chicago Cubs for uh trading away everyone who won a World Series in 2016 and then the day after the trade they said here's our starting lineup for tonight and that had 1200 uh quote tweets I also wrote here's this here's tonight's starting ratio underneath that one and I got 13,000 likes their 2,000 likes. Incredible.
So, yeah, that was a good ratio. I'd like to see an inconsequential team out there just make up a starting lineup.
Yeah. Include their one.
So the Pirates could probably do it if they put O'Neal Cruz and then just made up every other name around and be like here's tonight's starting lineup. Yeah.
Probably nobody would even notice. Yeah, and I'm not a ratio guy, but that was a thrilling ratio to be a part of.
You just be like, here's your starting ratio. I'm not a ratio guy, but what I am, counter ratio guy.
Yeah. I like to reverse.
I play the reverse card in Nuno. Yeah.
I like to do the credit card that says your ratio has been declined. Ratio declined.
I also like putting the picture of the ref in soccer, doing ratio check. Yeah.
Doing VAR and then ratio denied. Red card.
Those are great. We have Annalyn McCourt, who is, I don't know why she's famous.
Is she an actress, I believe? I believe so. She put out a video when Ukraine and Russia, the war started there.
She said, Dear Mr. President Vladimir Putin.
And in her video, she basically was like, I wish I were your mother, because if I were your mother, I would have hugged you and and raised you correctly with so much joy in your life and everything here. I'll actually play a little bit of it because, well, let's wait, let's go.
So she had 113,000 quote tweets, 113000 quote tweets that she probably made up like five percent of twitter that day it was something else um okay and then finally our last uh nominee is stuart mandel uh who is a writer at sports illustrated i believe i don't know where he writes but when it was announced that we had a bowl game barstool bowl game he wrote business is business but at least espn is not a notoriously misogynistic company um if you are familiar the these guys have all the fun or something whatever the book title is yeah those guys have all those guys have all the fun about espn in the in the early days um also they've had stories like as as of last year about the misogyny there. He had 559 quote tweets on his and only 15 real retweets.
That's incredible. Yeah, really nice.
All right, the winner of the Ratio of the Year, drumroll please. It is Annalyn McCord.
Congratulations, Annalyn. Her open letter to Mr.
Vladimir Putin, and here to accept the award is Annalyn McCord. Dear President Vladimir Putin, I'm so sorry that I was not your mother.
If I was your mother, you would have been so loved, held in the arms of joyous light. Never would with the stories plight the world unfurled before our eyes a pure demise of nations sitting peaceful under a night sky if i was your mother the world would have been all right you get the gist so she went on and on about fantasizing about putin being putin's mother um she was like if you had these titties yeah you would not be invading uk Ukraine.
You'd be a peaceful man. I love it, too, because it's not only the ratio of the year, but it might be narcissism of the year to be like, if I was your mother, I would have stopped all war.
Yeah, it's also fucked up towards Putin's actual mom. How do you know she wasn't a nice lady? Yeah, she could have been great.
That's low-key misogynistic. It's like blaming Putin's mom for everything that he's done.
Right, right. That's true.
That's a very good point. Billy.
Putin's mom lived through Stalingrad. Oh, wow.
Yeah. She's a tough woman.
So she's, yeah, I would trust Putin's mom to raise me before her. Yeah.
Okay, let's go to the next one. That was a great one.
Ratio of the year. Annalyn McCord, congratulations.
Great honor.

Congratulations.

The next award is an annual award that we do.

The preemptive take of the year.

Yes.

Preemptive take of the year.

So we're calling our shot for what the take of the year in 2022 slash 2023 is going to be.

Hank.

Give us your preemptive take of the year.

It can be someone else is going to say this,

or you could actually have the take.

Do you want me to start?

Yeah.

I'll start.

Okay.

Thanks, Hank.

He's just lost for words right now.

Here's my take.

I think that we are going to get a one-on-one sit-down interview

with Dan Orlovsky and Deshaun Watson, and he is going to set him straight on how to not be horny. That's great.
I want that. I need it.
I'm going to call my shot. It's way outside the ballpark shot.
I think the chances are maybe less than 1%, but I'm going to call it. That's my preemptive take of the year.
So Dan Orlovsky, according to his rules, it would be like, Deshaun, don't ever go to a

room by yourself.

Don't ever be in the same room as a woman.

Yep.

He might.

The thing about Deshaun, though, have we considered like it might not be a woman thing.

It might just be like a massage thing.

Yeah, it might be.

He might have just too much massage porn.

Like it might be a hand is a hand.

Yeah.

You know what he'll do? Deshaun Watson to get around that. He'll make a milking table for himself that he'll bring with him like he brings his towel.
Yeah. Face down.
Can't see what's going on underneath the table. If you've seen.
That would actually be the perfect Dan Orlovsky. They're sitting.
I imagine they're sitting in a giant room very close together and he just takes Deshaun Watson's hand.

He's like, look at this hand.

This hand can do everything for you.

Throw a football, jerk you off, everything.

And he maybe even just shows him the motion too.

I mean, according to Dan, if you're just hanging out with the bros jacking each other off,

that's actually, that's good.

Yes.

That's saving your marriage.

Yes, that's absolutely saving your marriage.

So, yeah, Dan Orlovsky interviewing Deshaun Watson.

I like that.

PFT, why don't you go so we give Hank another example.

I'm good.

I'm ready.

Oh, you got yours?

Okay.

Okay, why don't you go ahead, Hank.

I think this is the year that LeBron responds to Skip.

Whoa.

Tries to cancel him.

Whoa.

Tries to get him off the air.

How bad is this construction, by the way? Really bad. Okay.
All right. So I thought last year.
It's really bad. I thought last year what LeBron was doing with Westbrook.
Power drilling. Was smart.
Maybe three feet away from the studio. Because he brought Westbrook in to kind of serve as a human shield against Skip Bayless.
Yes. Knowing that Skip would go after Westbrook instead of going after LeBbron little did he realize that that just gave skip bayless fuel to be like look who lebron brought in and here's why skip's gonna start going after brawny jr oh and then lebron's gonna be like that's a bridge too far time's up he's gonna try and time's up skip okay.
Yeah. Got it.
He's going to new medium. Yeah.
All right. Fair enough.
Okay. Billy.
This construction is driving me insane. Should I go out? I was about to say, should we open the line and tell him to stop? Yeah, Billy, you work construction.
You can talk to these guys. Okay.
Billy's going to go get this construction stopped. All right, Billy.
Good luck. By the way, Billy won this category last year by his take being 2022 is going to be sick.
Yeah. That was the winner.
Literally? That's what he said. That was a great call by him.
Hank actually had a good one. It was a nominee.
The NCAA will be defunct within five years. Now with the conference realignment.
Wow. Interesting.
Hank. Okay.
What was mine? It was Mike Florio and Max Kellerman were the other ones. Max Kellerman said Tom Brady's falling off a cliff.
Mike Florio with Richard Sherman's agent and COVID. I don't know the context of that one.
Okay. That sounds, both of them sound right.
I don't know why, but they both sound like they happened PFT yours

Mine

It's time for Bill Belichick to retire

Oh

Has the game passed him by

Wow

I feel like you've been saying that

I've never said that

No you're projecting

You're projecting

Wow

We know that Tom

Has won the divorce

He won a Super Bowl. Mac Jones.
I'll put it this way. If Mac Jones is not the answer this year.
He is? If he's not, I think we're going to have the conversation. Bill, is it time to go coach lacrosse? I have some saver metrics for you about Mac Jones if you want him Yeah hit me Let me pull him up Two DUIs Nope He was in Alabama whatever More DUIs than Complete passes against the Bills In their Monday Night Football win against them Oh shit Never mind I't have them.
I can't find the tweet. Saliensio solamente ahora.
Whoa. Por favor.
We got an hour. That's not going to be enough, but that's good.
You go back out there. Yeah.
I like that, Billy. Uno más.
Way to go, Billy. Billy, Spanish Speaker of the Year award.
Joe Burrow, 520 passing attempts, 4,198 air yards.

Mack Jones, 521 pass

attempts, 4,260

air yards. Air yards, I love it.

I love air yards.

Air yards is a great stat.

That's two falls apart

in air yards.

I'm two and on, but yeah.

Okay, who hasn't gone?

Jake, Billy, preemptive take of the year? A team that a PMT member roots for will win a championship. Okay, well, I'm out.
Never know. Celtics.
I'm out. The Celtics have to be out.
We have so many opportunities. Yeah, I know, but I'm 100% out.
U.S. men's soccer.
Oh, yeah. Congratulations.
By default. There we go.
Maybe the sky will go back to back. Yeah.
I'm out'm out just circle back on this there's actually like yeah if you could parlay against all the chicago teams it would be the best in mind big cat if ohio state wins the college football playoff you're gonna count that oh yeah that's true that is that is big 10 yeah might win you're right you're right yeah okay i was like that's sad that all our only is all hank hank has to win it or i know Republicans probably taking the house back for Billy. Yeah, Billy.
Shut up, Billy. I was like, that's sad that we ain't just all Hank.
Hank has to win it. Or Republicans probably taking the house back for Billy.
Yeah, Billy. Shut up, Billy.
I was just living the year. Red wave, baby.
Red wave. Just living the year.
No, you weren't. You're not living the year.
Yeah, I got a participation. Yeah, you did.
You got a trophy. Yeah, yeah.
Billy's the only person that can be simultaneously MAGA and lib. You're like the libest MAGA out there.
Well, I'm just the worst of both sides.

Yeah, you are.

You are the worst of everything.

Yeah.

Okay, Billy, your preemptive take of the year.

Do we review past takes?

Yeah, you won last year.

2022 is going to be sick.

Hmm.

It's been pretty sick.

Well, maybe not for you personally. Okay, it was sick until the last month may have not been sick, but it was sick before that.

Yep.

It was really sick for you before that. I know.
I know. I'm going to go.
I'm not going to say it's 2023. It's probably going to be.
Hmm. I'm going to say that it's going to be the year of just normality.
Oh, a return to normalcy. Nice.

I think we're going to go. And that

is in conjunction with the red wave?

No. Oh, okay.
I think that means

that the Patriots are winning another Super Bowl.

I just love the idea

of Billy when he was out

with the lacrosse bros.

That fateful night. And he was like,

dude, don't you have to work tomorrow?

He's like, no, no, no, dude.

I already said 2022 is going to be sick.

Like, it's good.

They know.

Intertaining clients.

Yeah.

All right.

Good job.

Good preemptive takes.

All right.

We have a winner?

No, we picked a winner last time.

It was Billy.

I don't think we should pick a winner right now.

I mean, that was clearly the best one.

I think we have to wait.

Yeah, we have to wait.

Yeah, we have to wait. I hope it's Billy.
Normalcy would be we should pick a winner right now. I mean, that was clearly the best one.
I think we have to wait. Yeah, we have to wait.
Yeah, we have to wait.

I hope it's Billy.

Normalcy would be good.

Normalcy would be great.

All right.

It is time.

Before we do this, let's go to an ad,

and then we'll intro Blake of the Year,

which is we have the two competing Blakes,

and it's phenomenal.

As we progress through the season,

every fan knows that big wins are hard to come by

and tough losses are even harder to accept. But you know what isn't hard to accept? Discover.
Believe it or not, Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide. You heard that right, 99%.
So make a good call for your wallet and get Discover. Based on the February 2024 Nielsen Report, learn more at discover.com slash credit card.
Okay, let's do it. Blake of the Year.
Okay, it is now time for one of the most important Takey Awards given. I'd say it's the most important.
It is the Blake of the year award uh just to refresh everyone's memory we've done it different ways we did uh who could answer the phone faster last year we did the ping pong ball draft that i think was maybe the low point for this show in general i think the low point for recorded audio yes it was it was tragic how that went. But this year we have Blake Bortles and Blake Griffin, our good friends.
Blake Bortles, did you win last year, Blake? I did, yeah. Yeah, so you are the defending champ, Blake of the year.
And you'll notice there is not a third Blake this year. It is Brooks Koepka.
He has been suspended because he joined the Live Tour. Upon appeal, upon appeal, he has given us a statement.
I'm going to say right now from this statement, we can decide as a community here whether we should lift his appeal for next year, but he is suspended for this year. Yeah.
So you guys, Blakes, what do you think? Go ahead, Blake. I think it's a compelling argument.
I think you guys are right. I think there has to maybe possibly be one caveat, and that's that we get to fly on the live jet.
Yep, smart. I like that.
I mean, you know, words are great. I like to see people live it out.
So if we can go watch him, you know, play a tournament, fly with him, all that, just to make sure he's living up to Blake Code, I'm willing to allow it. Okay, I like that.
Yeah, what do you think, Blake? Yeah, I agree with everything that's said. I'd like to be on that plane as well.
Maybe if he threw us a party, I think that would maybe make up for some of the things that have happened. But I'd welcome him back with open arms.
Okay, so a party and a trip on the live jet, and then he's officially unsuspended. Yeah, you got to show him love.
You know, you got to bring him back to the lightness with a little bit of your love. Yes, yes.
Okay, so it is a two-man race this year. Before we do it, so how we're going to do it is PFD has come up with some trivia that we're going to give the blakes um and we'll decide blake of the year from that uh let's first go with blake griffin uh before we start the trivia anything you'd like to say about your past year and uh how everything went um yeah sort of honestly uh man not too dramatic, but everything sort of went downhill after last year's Blake of the year.
I had a rough year, fellas, and I think it started with those ping pong balls. Yeah.
Now I can't even look at a ping pong ball without thinking of the devastating loss, but I will say this. It's an honor to lose.
If I have to lose to somebody, I'd rather lose to a Blake. Yeah.
We did go see you in the playoffs this year, Blake. It was game four.
Oh, cool. I played that one.
Yeah, you did. I was about to say, you were hustling.
You were on the ground all the time.

Thanks, man. Just trying to bring the grit to the name Blake,

make the other Blakes proud.

But, yeah.

Yeah, okay.

It was nice.

All right, and Blake Bortles, your year as champion,

Blake of the Year, how'd it go?

The Blake of the Year competition last year

was probably the high point of my year uh i didn't throw a jump pass or dunk or win a golf tournament this this past year but you know things are looking to turn around this year i think yeah yeah i mean you you did play in the nfl though like you were you were on the saints i got your jersey i'm maybe the only person in America that got it. I did.
I was on a couple sidelines last year, so we'll see if anything comes from that. This kind of begs the question, is there a curse? Is there a Blake of the Year curse? That's fair to ask.
Yeah. Yikes.
Let's not think about that. Let's not think about that.
Probably not. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, okay. All right.
Let's get to the trivia. Decide Blake of the Year this year.
This Blake will have an entire year to revel in the fact they're Blake of the Year. People will be calling you Blake of the Year.
We've got to re-record the intro. Yeah, we've got to re-record the intro, so the Blake of the Year will end up having the intro to part of my take.
It is our biggest honor that we give out. And it doesn't come lightly.
You have to do everything that all Blake should do and act like a Blake at all times. So without further ado, PFT, you have our trivia.
Yeah, so we're going to do some Blake trivia right now, and that's how we're going to decide this.

So we'll go one at a time.

There are three questions.

Just an opening statement from each of you.

What's your stance on the Saudi Public Investment Fund?

Blake Griffin.

Why am I always going first?

I've gone first every time.

I'd like to cherry pick off other people's answers.

Sorry, say the question again. What is your stance on the saudi public investment fund uh man you know what politics uh especially today are such a tough topic and you know i have enough trouble keeping up with uh the politics in our own country.
So it's tough for me to say, you know, I don't know that I know enough about that topic to truly speak on it. And I think that, you know, there's good and bad with everything.
OK. Yeah.
And, you know, it's tricky. So, you know, God bless America.
God bless everyone. Yeah.
Great answer. Great answer.
And Blake Bortles, same question to you. Where do you stand on the Saudi Public Investment Fund and Mohammed bin Salman? I think that was well said, Blake, and I couldn't agree more.
Okay. All right, you guys tie.
One to one. Good answer.
This is a tie. Next question.
This goes to Blake Bortles. Blake Bortles, how many people has Matthew Broderick killed? Is it A, none, B, one, C, two, D, all the above? I'm going to be honest.
I don't even know who Matthew Broderick is. Oh, wow.
Ferris Bueller. Ferris Bueller.
Okay. um well in that case I think I'd say

uh Oh, wow. Ferris Bueller.
Ferris Bueller. Okay.

Well, in that case, I think I'd say C2.

Yes, he got it right.

He got it.

He got it.

Wow.

Holy shit.

He has killed two people.

People forget that.

Wow.

What an answer.

In a car accident in England in like the 80s.

Yeah. Well, yeah.
All right. Blake Griffin.
Next question for you. What is the difference between a sea lion and a seal? Is it A, the nose? B, the ears? C, the penis? D, All the above Can you read those again for me? The nose The ears Or the penis I'd say Not the nose I'd say the ears.
Yeah! You got it! You got it! That's a fun fact. Sea lions have external ears.
Seals have internal ears. Wow.
Yeah. 2-2.
Wow, this is crazy. This is crazy.
Okay. Next question.
This is crazy. This is crazy.
Next question. Blake Griffin, complete the lyric.
Yes. Jealousy, turning saints into the sea, swimming through sick lullabies, choking on your alibis.
But it's just the... Christ, I, that is just the price I pay.
Yes. Yes.
Yes. You nailed it.
All right. Blake Bortles.
Blake Bortles. Your chance to respond.
Complete this Drake lyric. You gotta be nice for what to these? That way I got like a whole verse and I get three words.
Complete the lyric, Blake. Okay, that one was a joke.
That one was a joke.

I won't make you say that one.

We're tied 2-2 still.

No, no, it's 3-2.

No, no.

Blake's whole thing was just a setup to get Blake.

All right, so it's 3-3.

3-3.

It's 3-3.

I'm going to give – you know what?

We're going to give Blake Bortles credit for the correct answer.

Yeah.

Because you could see he knew, but he didn't want to act like he knew.

Yeah, but you knew.

Because, like, is it racist?

No, I don't know.

Yeah.

So, 3-3.

So, we're going to go to a tiebreaker here.

Wow.

Blake Bortles, name every team that Blake Griffin has played for in the NBA.

Mmm.

Can I get a total?

Yeah, give a total. Yeah, give a total.

Yeah, sure.

Three.

Total number?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Three.

Yeah, three.

Three.

Clippers?

Yep.

Nets?

Yep.

He's trying to forget this as well so it's fine

this was a one-year stint the one i'm missing no no no multiple multiple years yeah do i answer these no no no no no i know i don't answer the question and um you got it

it's your time limit And, um, you got it.

Is there a time limit?

No, he has literally forever.

We did the ping pong balls last year.

So half under pace.

Um, I'm struggling.

I don't know.

I'm going to guess and say the sons.

Good guess.

You give off son's energy. Yeah.
Uh, it's, It's the Pistons. It's the Pistons.
Yeah. Blake, I'm sorry.
I knew that. Yeah.
Detroit Pistons. Sorry, buddy.
Yeah. No way.
No. I mean, Blake might be on the Suns.
He might be part of that KD trade package that he wants. Yeah, that's true.
You never know. That's true.
I think we should give him a point for each one. So it's five to three Blake Bortles.

Well, here's what we'll do. Because what I'll say is that Blake Bortles' career,

he's played for twice as many teams as you have, Blake Griffin.

So we can just reduce the fraction and say that you can tie Blake on this answer

if you get four of the six teams that Blake Bortles has played for. if you get all of them or five out of six you're the winner five out of six I win yeah okay so we got five teams what'd you say teams he's only played for five teams oh yeah you played for one of them twice.
Okay, all right, so five teams. I know that one.
That was a test. So we got Jacksonville.
Yep. We got the L.A.
Rams twice. Yep.
We got the Green Bay Packers. This was right around the time we were doing Blake of the Year last year.
Yep. And, well, I mean, PFT kind of gave this away.
Saints.

Yep.

And I believe we had a stint in.

I'll give you a hint.

He gave everyone.

Oh, you can't.

No, no, it's a hint.

He gave everyone COVID.

Denver.

Denver.

Congratulations to Blake Griffin for winning Blake of the Year Trivia. Big Cat, tell him what he's won.
So, you have won Blake of the Year Trivia. You then get to decide heads or tails to decide Blake of the Year.
Man, all right. I got the coin right here.
I'm going to flip it. I'm going to catch it, and then I'm going to put it on my palm, and I'll have Billy read the answer.
Okay, you're going to catch flip. Yeah, I'm going to flip it, catch it, and then put it on the back of my hand.
Okay, that changes everything. Yep.
All right. Am I calling it now? Yeah, call it.
I can't really see the screen at all. Call it now.
Call it now.

Tails.

Okay, here we go.

Here's the flip.

Billy, get ready for it to be on the mic.

I like that call.

Okay.

This is, by the way, just showing this to the camera.

This is tails.

This is heads.

Official quarter.

It is a official quarter.

I don't know what year it is.

2013.

Oh! Oh, my God.

I pulled this off my desk randomly what does that quarter say this quarter says mount rushmore oh it's a mount rushmore it's a mount rushmore quarter that is that's beautiful all right here we go that meant nothing to you guys. All right.
It meant a lot to us. Here we go.

He is called Tails. This is for Blake of the Year 2022.

It is Tails.

Wow! Congratulations, Blake!

Blake Griffin has won 2022.

Blake of the Year. The King returns.
What do you call it? Tails never fails. Wow.
He's emotional. He's emotional, folks.
First, let's hear from the loser. Let's let Blake Griffin catch his breath here.
Blake Bortles, a one-year stint as Blake of the Year. What are you thinking about right now? It hurts, I think, most importantly.
But at the end of the day blake's a valiant competitor he put a lot of hard work and time and energy into this and uh i don't think there's anybody else i'd rather see win this award than him wow that's what a classy guy well said uh blake our winner our blake of the year uh he's won now i think he's officially a dynasty. Three out of the last four years? That's right.

So Blake Griffin, how are you feeling?

I mean

honestly, hats

off to Blake.

A lot of people

don't want to remember the Pistons.

My stint on the Pistons

and that being his downfall

you know

doesn't seem fair.

He's a great guy, great competitor.

And like you said, it's always fun to go against a Blake.

With that being said, you know,

hopefully it's the beginning of a new journey, you know, a new chapter.

It's always a big thrill.

It's I needed this this i needed this uh i'm just uh i'm thrilled man i i almost switched to heads after you said it was a mount rushmore quarter um and i'm glad i stuck with my original choice shout out um you know always sticking with your uh with your gut yeah thank you guys thank you to the thank you Thank you to the AWLs as well. Yeah, they're serious.
Great people. I just want to say, I'm going to get ahead of this.
All the people out there, because I'm sure there will be a few, say it was a Mickey Mouse Blake of the Year because you're only competing against Blake Bortles in this one and not Blake Ko kepka i remind you that i believe for the first two blake of the years these are the original original blakes yes so don't don't bring that mickey mouse shit to this yeah and also shout out live for taking away a competitor and upping my chances by 17 yes that's true um uh last question for you blake griffin so you've won the Blake of the year. What do you think this is going to mean for next season? You think maybe Steve Nash actually plays you or what? I don't know that he's a AWL.
So I don't know that this helps my case at all. But I'll be in conversation if I do end up back there, but, you know, free agency, so who knows where I am.
That's true. That is true.
Okay, so, I mean, we're hoping that it's a big year for both Blake's. Again, thank you to both of you guys.
Our favorite award to give out at the Takeys. Blake Griffin, I expect you to, you know, be the best Blake that you can be for the next

year because this is important. People

will see you and they'll be like, there goes Blake of the year.

That's a heavy

crown you're wearing now.

Yeah, honestly, one of my favorite

things to hear from people, you know,

just walking down the street, people shout out Blake of the

Year, and that's the thing I always turn around and

like give a fist pump, you know?

People could say anything

and I might not hear it. But you hear those words, Blake of the Year, and you know you got a quality person on your hand.
Yes. I love that.
You're a great ambassador for Blakeness, so thank you. Yes.
All right, fellas, thank you so much. We appreciate it.

And, yeah, next year should be interesting when we have a three-man race again.

I can't wait to get on that live plane.

Oh, dude, that's going to be sweet.

Thanks to Blake, by the way, for agreeing to that.

Has he agreed yet?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, no, he'll agree.

He's officially agreed.

Yes, yes, yes.

All right.

Thank you, guys.

Amazing.

See you guys.

Thank you, guys.

We'll be right back. agreed yet yeah oh yeah no he'll agree he's uh he's officially agreed yes yes yes all right all right thank you guys amazing wait see you guys thank you guys okay that's the takeies good job everyone how about that yeah lake griffin returns the dynasty's back yep and that means also pay attention to the start of the next show because there might be a different intro yes yes we Yes.
We don't have any more awards, right? No. Love you guys.
Bill, you got an animal fact? Chocolate cows give chocolate milk. Jake, is that all the awards? I believe there's one more.
Oh. What would that be? That would be listeners of the year.
Oh. Podcast listeners of the year.
Jake, why don't you intro this one with the nominees and we'll we'll sit back and uh see who might win all right we have four nominees for this final award of 2022 first up the six-time defending champion award-winning listeners from pardon my take i think they're bad for podcasts wow too dominant we'll see if they can keep the streak alive next we have aaron rogers a listener of the joe rogan podcast probably yeah nice um certainly the bodega hive oh actually yeah uh when did we do this we did this we put this together a couple months ago yeah we did so all right we made one mistake we made one mistake one mistake and lastly we have the come boys oh. Stop.
Okay. So is it now a coin toss? Yeah.
Does that nominee convey to the Freeland podcast? No, I think it's over. I think so.
It's just us versus the AWLs versus Aaron Rodgers. That's it.
Should we flip a coin? Yeah, flip a coin. What do they get? Heads or tails? We should do it.

This would be devastating.

We should actually do this. We should actually do this.

Oh, my God.

Holy fuck.

I'm freaking out.

Okay, so what's heads and what?

Do we give the AWLs tails?

Yeah.

We preach tails.

Wait, wait, wait.

It's just one for Blake.

I'm going to look up right now.

Yeah, you're right.

Why did you dislike Aaron Rodgers even more? Now we have a reason. If he wins this, if he steals this from our AWLs? Well, I mean, there were four nominees now there are two.
It's kind of like a playoff. Yeah.
You probably won't win. Now you have a spin.
If Aaron Rodgers wins, Mickey Mouse. Yeah, okay.
I don't know. I think we should actually do it.
Yeah, I think so too. Let Let's actually make them earn it.
This is actually, okay, so full transparency, this was not planned, and we were going to give it to the AWLs, but now I think we have to do this. Yeah.
We got to make them earn it. We have to earn it.
Yeah, this will be their greatest test. You remember when Aaron Rodgers called tails twice in a row, and, like, the didn't flip? It landed on Tails and they had to do it again? Yeah.
That was awesome. All right, so who's going to see it? We're going to call it Tails for the AWLs.
I can video with the phone. Yeah, I can video with the phone.
Proof of the coin. I'll keep it right here.
Or here, come stand over here so PFT can see it with me. Yeah, I want to witness this.
Oh, my God. I think a loss would actually be good for that.
No, Billy. Jesus.
All right. Suspension, dude.
It's Aaron Rodgers and Billy Football as Joe Rogan podcast. I think a loss would be good because then they won't take it for granted.
I'm nervous. I'm very nervous.
Okay. I disagree wholeheartedly.
All right. But you agree with the coin flip.

Yes.

Yeah.

It's got it.

All right.

So it's tails for the AWLs.

I'm going to flip it.

I'm going to catch it.

Oh, my God.

I'm going to flip it actually right.

Oh, my God.

I'll flip it right on the table.

All right?

So I won't even put it on my hand.

I'm going to catch it.

Whatever.

Slap it on the table.

Okay.

All right.

All right.

Oh, God.

Oh, shit.

Wait, wait.

AWLs have tails.

Thank you. Slap it on the table.
Okay. All right.
All right. Oh, God.
Oh, shit. Wait, wait.
AWOs have tails. AWOs have tails.
Okay. Oh, Jesus.
Oh, God. It's there! It's there! Yes! Yes! Yes! Fuck you! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! That was electric! Oh, my God! That was...
Oh, my God. Seven-time champions in the world.
Seven. Wow.
Award-winning listeners, hang that bear. That was the hardest-fought one you've ever had because it literally was up to chance.
That's got to be the worst loss of Aaron Rodgers' career. Oh, my God.
We need to immortalize this coin. We should, like, frame it on the tails.
Holy fuck. Tails doesn't fail, baby.
Thank you to everyone listening. This is the best job ever.
You know that. But fuck, man.
I say it at the end. Memes has texted.
He's not listening. He just heard their screams.
He goes, Hank got the ball. Like I said, this wasn't planned.
I say it at the end of every episode, most episodes. I do love you guys.
We all love you guys. Thank you very much for the time.
We know that you have a lot of other choices. Thank you for listening to part of my take.
Seven years in a row. Seven years.
I'm very humbled by this. I love it.
I love saying how humbled you are when you're receiving an award. Yeah.
You should be humbled. The AWLs should be very humbled by being crowned seven time champions i mean we say it all the time but like it is the truth and we do love doing this show and uh you know set doing this for what seven years now is fucking crazy you know not every show is the best there's been ups and downs but we we love doing it we love everyone who listens and interacts with us and holy fuck you guys beat aaron rogers i love you even more now like i don't know how i could love the aws more you just beat aaron rogers yeah i never beat aaron rogers the only thing is like if they had lost that oh i would have been devastated yeah i would have just tweeted the playstation tweet right now and everyone be like wait did he actually get hacked because it's like the middle the day on a Thursday.
Also, if they had lost it, everybody would hate Aaron Rodgers along with you. Yeah, but – And people's days would have been – Ruined.
Yeah. Years ruined.
You heard what happened to Blake Griffin? He didn't play. All their bios.
Yeah. Loyal AWLs have six – Five AWL on their bios.
Six and one. Dude, seven in a row is insane.
Oh, my God. All right, numbers.

Hank, no pressure, but if you did get the number here,

that would be the most electric episode we've ever done.

20.

20?

No, seven.

Yeah, I was going to say, why not seven?

Six. If it's 20, I'm 26.

All right, I'll go 27.

91.

They could have actually lost. No, no, no.
81. They could have lost.
I know. That was like the first time.
I also thought the flip was bad. I was like, oh, no, that didn't flip very much.
Oh, 12. Oh, so close.
That's Aaron. God damn it.
Motherfucker, he's fighting back.

All right.

See everyone on Friday.

Love you guys. Lost bears live forever.

Love you guys.

Oh my God. Take me on.
I'll be gone. I'll be gone.
He likes to say. I'm all the senate.
But I'll be so long Take on me Thank you. Take on on.
I'll be gone

I'll become