Ryan Whitney And Paul Bissonnette, The Avalanche Win The Cup + Mt Rushmore Of Things That Change After Age 30

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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, the Colorado Avalanche have won the Stanley Cup. We talk about that.
Ole Miss is national champions. We have who's back of the week.

Speaker 1 Our good friends Ryan Whitney and Paul Bissonet in studio. We taped it last week, but we did a great great interview and we did a Mount Rushmore with them.

Speaker 1 Mount Rushmore of things that change after you turn 30. Great Mount Rushmore.
And then we'll wrap up with Hank's thoughts about what's going to change for him when he turns the big 3-0.

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Speaker 1 Today is Monday, June 27th, and the Colorado Avalanche are Stanley Cup champions. Big one for the South.

Speaker 7 Yeah, the Cup goes back to the South. Big weekend overall for the South.
Old Miss Baseball wins. Colorado Avalanche win.
Roe v. Wade overturned.

Speaker 1 Just all dubs. Huge one.

Speaker 1 You just threw that one in there. All dubs.
Coming up.

Speaker 1 Listen, I don't care who you root for in the NHL when you see the Space. Oh, I thought that was going to be...
I don't care who you root for. Yeah, but Roe v.
Wade.

Speaker 7 I'm back to both sides of the issue real quick. No, back to hockey.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Where we were.

Speaker 7 I was going to say, like, no matter who you root for, it's a great ceremony.

Speaker 7 Like, seeing the person lift the cup for the first time, the team captain, or or like a longtime veteran on that team finally get their San Lee Cup. It's awesome.

Speaker 7 That's like a top three sports moment. It's the best.

Speaker 1 The lifting of the cup, the passing it around as they do it, you know, depending, you know, like the oldest guy usually goes first and then they passes it to the guy who hasn't had a chance and the captain and all the stories.

Speaker 1 Also, shout out the keeper of the cup and the vice keeper of the cup. I don't, those guys are like trapped in 1980.
Their hair was incredible, just flowing.

Speaker 1 I actually wonder, wonder we should interview the vice keeper of the cup because that is his backup so he basically the keeper of the cup who's been doing it forever probably the coolest job ever uh goes around with the cup chap chaperones around with the cup even when the players get it for a day he's there but i do know that the vice keeper of the cup the backup guy i think he gets like days like

Speaker 1 three through five of the celebration when it's like you know just a few guys and they're all just blacked out and it's not as fun.

Speaker 1 So that guy's that, like, and you know, the cup has the cup has a curfew. Yeah, no, so the cup goes to sleep at like, I think it's 11 o'clock or midnight.

Speaker 1 Uh, when they bring it back to Colorado, they'll be partying and then be like, all right, cup's got to go to sleep. Like, got to bring it home.
They pack it up.

Speaker 7 They've got that special case that they lock it up in. I remember when Ovi won the cup and he was taking pictures of it in bed with his wife.

Speaker 7 You have to think like the keeper of the cup was there with his little white gloves.

Speaker 1 He was taking the pictures.

Speaker 7 Yeah, that guy's got to have an ironclad NDA. Oh, yeah.
Like his shit, the stories that he could tell, I would buy a book actually by that guy.

Speaker 1 And now that I'm thinking about it, like, coolest job, but kind of a shitty job at points because you basically have to be around the drunkest people ever with a big, super expensive

Speaker 1 piece of hardware and hope it doesn't break. Yeah, and that would be like, that would be all-time anxiety.

Speaker 7 Yeah, it's a tough job. Maybe not anxiety, but just like it would get annoying after a while.
Yeah. I think just hanging out with drunk people all the time.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 But yeah, yeah, it's the greatest tradition in sports. The Stanley Cup, the pass around, the kisses.

Speaker 1 Everyone kisses that cup.

Speaker 7 They're all sharing diseases by the end of the night. Yep.

Speaker 7 The guys with the white gloves, though,

Speaker 7 anything, you can do anything with white gloves on, and it's like the classiest fucking thing ever. Like, if you ate a sandwich with white, well, Mike Greenberg, yes, and he is a classy man.

Speaker 1 Yes. And the Avalanche,

Speaker 1 incredible team, like an absolute wagon of a team. I looked at it.
So they didn't win the President's Cup.

Speaker 1 They finished second in points to the Florida Panthers by three, but they did have the most points in the Western Conference. They went 16-4 in the playoffs.
They had a four-game sweep,

Speaker 1 four to two against the Blues, four-game sweep of the Oilers, four to two against the Lightning.

Speaker 1 If you combine it all and you take out overtime losses in the regular season,

Speaker 1 they won a 78% clip, which is insane. It's pretty cool.
That is just

Speaker 1 an awesome, awesome hockey team that deserves to win the cup. They're just super likable, too.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 7 Their team's awesome. Cadre, after the game, he said, everyone who thought I was a liability in the playoffs, you can kiss my ass.

Speaker 1 Love it. Love it.
That's just hockey talk.

Speaker 7 Yeah, love it. I think that you're completely allowed to swear if it's the Stanley Cup ceremony on TV.
They just forget about the FCC.

Speaker 7 As it should be. But yeah, they're super likable.
McKinnon was awesome.

Speaker 1 Awesome. John McCarr wins the

Speaker 1 Con Smith, who we talked to Whitney about it.

Speaker 1 He has a chance to be one of the greatest defensemen ever in terms of where he's at his career right now and the talent level. Yeah.
He was just a beast.

Speaker 1 Like the times where he would just, he would, I feel like there was multiple times where I was watching and he would have like minute 45, two minutes, and then he'd be sitting on the bench and just like square to water, not even hunched over, still ready to go.

Speaker 1 Just like he, those type of guys, those type of athletes, they're like secretariat. Like I wouldn't be shocked if his heart's like double the size of everyone else's.

Speaker 7 Yeah, did you see the Stanley Cup also has a fire Twitter account?

Speaker 7 They put out a pretty good tweet. They said, turn the lights off, carry me home.

Speaker 7 A little nod to all the small things fans. Damn.

Speaker 1 That's great. And the

Speaker 1 worst award goes to Corey Perry, who's now lost three straight cup finals. So he was on the Canadiens.

Speaker 1 He was on the Stars, and then he joined, tried to join the super team of the Lightning, going ring chasing, even though he has one, and came up short again.

Speaker 1 That's brutal. I mean, the fact that he has one makes it not that hard.
Like, it's different if he did not have a cup and it was the end of his career and he went three, 0-3

Speaker 1 with three different teams. That's so fucking hard to do.
But

Speaker 1 actually, the hardest

Speaker 1 anyway, so I don't care.

Speaker 7 The hardest one they had was last year getting to the cup with the Canadiens.

Speaker 7 That's like the most unlikely loss that he had in the Stanley Cup final. Yes.
Are we going to do the

Speaker 7 Tampa Bay Lightning fraud stock? Are they a fraudulent dynasty?

Speaker 1 Kind of.

Speaker 7 Kind of fraudulent dynasty. Kind of.

Speaker 1 Mickey Mouse.

Speaker 7 Mickey Mouse, Mickey Mouse. Two's not a a dynasty.
They're not even a dynasty.

Speaker 1 No, yeah, two isn't a dynasty. That's a fact.

Speaker 7 Yeah. But if they win next year, dynasty, perhaps.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but then

Speaker 1 talking is hot in the streets. What's a dynasty? Three.
Three.

Speaker 7 Three and five.

Speaker 1 I agree.

Speaker 7 Three and five seems right to me. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I agree. The Blackhawks were a dynasty.
Facts.

Speaker 1 The Avalanche, though, they're fucking awesome.

Speaker 1 That was as impressive of a run as you can have because

Speaker 1 it was just never like, they just never really sweat. They never got to a game seven, and they just trucked half the competition.

Speaker 1 And Stan Crocky, some people are saying, wins a Lombardi, wins a cup within the, within six months of each other. Is he the best owner in sports?

Speaker 7 Stop the Super League.

Speaker 1 Arsenal fans, I actually was trying to troll troops, our friend Troops, but Arsenal fans are feeling high and mighty right now because I guess he's spending some money in the transfer window.

Speaker 1 Oh, so how? So they just, they're like, yeah, he's fine. He is good.
Yeah. Yeah.
So maybe he got a taste of winning, and he was like, I just want to, I want to keep winning.

Speaker 1 Which that, I never understand any owner that doesn't, like, I love the idea of an owner winning one and being like, oh, this is fun. I should try to do this again.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like, what were you doing before?

Speaker 7 It takes that moment for them to be like, oh, shit, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was kind of cool.

Speaker 7 It's better to win than it is to lose. Yes.
They always say about Stan Crock, you're like, great, great owner, even better person, though. Yeah.
Even humanitarian.

Speaker 1 And the best mustache. Great mustache.
Super villain mustache for ages.

Speaker 7 Great hair piece. Yep.
Just all-around, all-star of a gentleman.

Speaker 1 Rich enough that no one will say to his face, hey, that hair piece is disgusting.

Speaker 1 Which is really all you need to do as a super rich owner is you just got to get to a point where no one would ever dare say to your face, hey, that hair piece sucks.

Speaker 7 Yeah, Mark Davis loves you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly. That's not a hair piece.
No, that's all natural. They would never sell it.
But Mark Davis is in the zone where no one's like, hey, dude, your haircut sucks. Yeah.
To his face.

Speaker 7 It'll be nice to get there one day, hopefully.

Speaker 1 Everyone says it behind their back. Yeah.
But like, would you care?

Speaker 1 If you're a billionaire, that really is like, can you get to a point where literally no one ever says anything mean to you to your face?

Speaker 7 It's also just an obscene level of wealth if you own three major professional sports teams.

Speaker 1 I think he likes to have the nuggets too, doesn't he?

Speaker 7 So he's got four. I think he's got like pretty sure he's got a piece of the pie with nuggets.
That's got to be awesome.

Speaker 7 Man. Like the sports calendar is just you have a sport that you own, a team that you own, like all year round.

Speaker 1 All the time. That's pretty sweet.
But he is the owner of, okay, oh my God. He's the owner of the

Speaker 1 Los Angeles Rams, Arsenal, the Denver Nuggets, the Colorado Avalanche, the Colorado Rapids, the Colorado Mammoth. What are even all these?

Speaker 1 Los Angeles. NLL.
Los Angeles Gladiators.

Speaker 1 Los Angeles Gorillas.

Speaker 1 I think we've gotten into esports.

Speaker 1 I'm not done. Screaming Eagle Winery and Vineyards.
Oh, that's Wagoneer Ranch.

Speaker 7 Screaming Eagle is like the best American wine. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Damn. That guy just owns she.

Speaker 7 Sheesh. That's crazy.

Speaker 7 That's a wild. Like, his life is perfect.

Speaker 1 It's kind of fucked up they have it as owner of the Denver Nuggets because we know that's governor.

Speaker 7 It's governor. It should be governor.
It's fucked up. But yeah, Avalanche.

Speaker 7 I do want to give a big middle finger to the sports calendar, though, because my internal biological clock is all kinds of screwed up.

Speaker 1 There should be more NBA games after the Sandling Cup's over. And it makes no sense to me.
It really is like a sad feeling to be like,

Speaker 1 there goes the last meaningful sporting event for a couple months. Like you can, you know,

Speaker 1 watch baseball, but

Speaker 1 you can't have the same feelings about baseball, regular season baseball, as you do of any playoff.

Speaker 7 Oh, the Live Tour.

Speaker 7 The Live Tour is back in action.

Speaker 1 The Live Tour is going to be electric.

Speaker 7 In Oregon this week.

Speaker 1 By the way, did you see our guy Brandless Chambly? He got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Speaker 7 What did he say?

Speaker 1 He was lying about.

Speaker 1 It was something about Charles Schwartzel basically not getting paid for winning that tournament.

Speaker 1 Essentially, he was saying that, like, all their money was up front, and it counts, like, their winnings when they win an actual tournament counts against their guaranteed money.

Speaker 1 And then, um, I forget his name. Can you look it up? Jason Caddy, the caddy who does stuff on ESPN, very funny guy.
Oh, yeah, that guy's awesome. He was like, yeah, this is just not true.

Speaker 1 And then he just roasted brandless and was like, why don't you get, why don't you go to, why don't you walk the course during turnover? Michael Collins. Yeah, Michael Collins.

Speaker 1 Get your facts straight forward.

Speaker 1 He was basically blasting and being like, everyone hates you. You're a coward.

Speaker 7 That's a good idea, though.

Speaker 7 Like, if anybody out there from Saudi Arabia is listening, I know we got a big demographic over there, but they should do the thing where they pay everybody up front, and then they're just indebted, they're indentured servants to the Saudis for the rest of the life, and they have to win their way off the tour.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 7 That would be awesome.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 That's what he made it seem like.

Speaker 7 Or they could just not pay them and be like, hey, Charles Schwartzel, you have to go ask for your money. You have to send your thugs over to get your money out of MBS's pocket.

Speaker 1 You got to go do an interview for your money.

Speaker 7 Yeah, you have to get that out. Yeah.
Meet us at the embassy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Bring your favorite journalist. Let's see if you can do it.

Speaker 1 But yeah, Avalanche fans, congratulations. Today is the day.
I mean, there's...

Speaker 1 Also, the fact that it's like happening right rolling into July 4th, I'd imagine the parade's going to be, what, Tuesday or Wednesday? They said Thursday. Thursday.
Oh, that's even better.

Speaker 1 So you just go into work. do your last week on Wednesday, last work of the week on Wednesday, and then just roll for like a week and a half, just

Speaker 1 having fun and just drinking where the cup could possibly be.

Speaker 7 Maybe just duck out of work early on Wednesday, get a head start on Thursday.

Speaker 7 You had to go to the grocery store, get all your provisions for the parade, then go to the parade Thursday, take off work Friday, then you have Monday off anyways.

Speaker 1 That's actually great they did it Thursday because parades like early in the week suck. Yeah, I agree.

Speaker 7 So today parades are the worst.

Speaker 1 Yeah, probably another Masterstroke by Stan Crocky. The guy just keeps winning.

Speaker 7 Oh, we also got a backup commissioner tonight, too. It's the summer of backup commissioners.

Speaker 1 I know, because I love doing Gary Bettman.

Speaker 7 We had Gary Bettman stand-in, and it's crazy listening to him talk because you forget what an impersonable piece of shit Gary Bettman is.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 7 Like all commissioners are kind of cut from the same cloth. Their job is to be just like...

Speaker 7 Their wallpaper is essentially what they want in terms of your personality. And then they have a guy that noticeably likes hockey that's out there presenting the cup.

Speaker 1 Fucks everything up.

Speaker 7 It fucks everything up. It's like, wait, you're not supposed to have a personality.
Yeah. You're supposed to just like stand there, get booed, and then let the guy take the cup.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And we got robbed of our booing.
Last thing about the Stanley Cup playoffs.

Speaker 1 Over-under,

Speaker 1 two and a half cups for this core of the Avalanche. Got to do it.
Got to do it.

Speaker 7 We got to do this. And if you take the under, it means that they're going to be disappointed.
Yeah. It's going to be disappointment if they don't turn into their own dynasty.

Speaker 1 I'm going to say over. They've been knocking on the door for a while now.
They got a crazy good young team.

Speaker 7 I think they're getting exactly two Stanley Cups. Okay.

Speaker 1 Two on the nose.

Speaker 1 Also, Hank said that Nathan McKinnon's legacy took a hit because he didn't win the con Smythe.

Speaker 1 You stand by that? People are asking, yeah. He is the first person.
It was the NHL.

Speaker 1 It was a very good, like, natural legacy comment right as the cup was being raised. He's like, hey, wait a second.

Speaker 7 Well, for real puck boys like Hank that know, like, Hank watches puck every night during during the liver.

Speaker 7 And so he knows that, like, that was Nathan. The big question was, like, can Nathan McKinnon get the Con Smythe Award?

Speaker 1 And the answer is no. Resounding no.
No.

Speaker 1 Did he choke?

Speaker 7 Do you think, like, if you were to inject him with truth serum, would you be like, I kind of wish that we lost?

Speaker 1 Yeah, they choked game five.

Speaker 7 I don't know if this season's a success right here.

Speaker 1 They choked game five, not winning it at home.

Speaker 1 Robbed him. I really wanted a game seven.
Because the other story, the other

Speaker 1 ring that we handed out today, Ole Miss Baseball, who was, I think I saw the stat, they were at 1.7 in 14 in SEC play, barely got in the tournament.

Speaker 1 And essentially, our colleague Ben Mintz willed them to victory with a little help from Chris Castellini.

Speaker 1 Incredible run by them. And I was like,

Speaker 1 First of all, I was pissed that they had that game at 3 o'clock in the afternoon. Like, I don't know why they're crowning a champion at 3 o'clock in the afternoon.
And then I just wanted one more.

Speaker 1 I wanted either a game seven Stanley Cup or a Monday night winner-take-all college baseball national championship. We got robbed of both, boys.

Speaker 7 I wanted the Monday night just because I wanted a full day of solo shine on college baseball. I never even knew that it existed until Ben Mintz told me about it.

Speaker 1 Correct.

Speaker 7 He's growing the game one person at a time. In fact, I've heard that if you see Ben Mintz around, he's going to probably go on his own Stanley Cup tour.

Speaker 7 We actually should hire a keeper of the cup for Ben Mintz, like just a full-time watcher that follows him around with the gloves, makes sure everyone's keeping the camera. A keeper of Ben Mintz.

Speaker 7 A keeper of the mints.

Speaker 7 If you see him, give him a big wet kiss on the cheek.

Speaker 1 He loves that. And say, PMT sent me.

Speaker 7 PMT sent me here. This one's from Big Cat.
Yes.

Speaker 1 And put two fat lips in the middle. That one should be on the lips.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I went to Pride Parade today. I noticed you guys weren't allies being there.

Speaker 7 Oh, my friend died. Sorry, I was at a funeral.

Speaker 1 Okay, well, I knew you had an excuse. Hank, what's your excuse? You don't want to get too close to employees you're probably going to fire because they're gay?

Speaker 1 I was just feeling really proud on the golf course, you know. Oh, oh, golf.

Speaker 7 Would you shoot?

Speaker 1 It's not important. Nice.
So you went to a country club that is notorious for keeping out.

Speaker 8 No, it was a Mooney.

Speaker 1 Oh, everyone's welcome.

Speaker 7 Did you at least play the back nine?

Speaker 1 Yeah. How bad did you shoot? Not good.

Speaker 1 Tell us. Tell us the number.
105. 105? That's pretty good.
That's okay. For a 13-year-old.
Yeah. No, that's not bad.
Tiger did that when he was five.

Speaker 8 Yeah, it was bad. What do you want me to say?

Speaker 1 Well, at least you're getting better.

Speaker 7 I'm trying to. At least you're getting exercise.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Exactly. That's what I'm talking about.
Good walk. A good, solid walk.
But yeah, congrats to Ole Miss.

Speaker 7 That was their first, I think, NCAA-recognized team sport national championship

Speaker 1 for Ole Miss. That's crazy.
And they also did it a year after Mississippi State.

Speaker 1 And I know that our friend Brandon Walker will think I'm trolling with this, but I told him this exact statement a week ago.

Speaker 1 I think that if your bitter rival wins a championship the year after you do, it almost erases your championship.

Speaker 7 Oh, completely, because you don't get, you have have zero time to gloat over it. None, none.

Speaker 1 It's like it's over. It never happened.
It never happened.

Speaker 7 Especially the way that it happened. Like, that was Mississippi State's first national championship in a team's career.

Speaker 1 Correct.

Speaker 7 And then Ole Miss gets theirs. I think now it's just Virginia Tech that's left without a title.

Speaker 1 That's crazy. Yeah.

Speaker 7 I've got a dumb question about Ole Miss, though, and I'm sure that everybody will tell me exactly the reason behind it. Why isn't it Ole Miss? Why is it Ole Miss?

Speaker 1 I don't know. Why is it E?

Speaker 1 Just what they got. Yeah.
Sounds cooler. Old Miss would be weird.

Speaker 7 It would be very weird.

Speaker 1 Old Miss, old miss. It's good old miss.
But they... Not good old miss.

Speaker 7 They played exceptionally well, like, all throughout the college world series.

Speaker 1 They're the hottest team in baseball.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 7 But then now you've got all the people being like, well, they shouldn't have been in it to begin with. Silence them right up.
Can't do that. Can't do it anymore.
You can't do that.

Speaker 1 They won the whole thing.

Speaker 1 I'm so sorry. I have to go to the bathroom.
Oh, my God. What? What did you eat?

Speaker 7 I had chicken and rice, but I guess the chicken.

Speaker 1 Is it you problem now? It was always a me problem. All right, guys.
We'll call you for your who's back.

Speaker 7 Jake's got IBS, guys.

Speaker 1 Unreal.

Speaker 7 He's got crones, maybe?

Speaker 1 Billy would. Oh, no, I can't say his name.
No, swear, swear to Jar. All right.

Speaker 1 I'm going to look up what Jake might have. Who's back?

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Speaker 1 Hank, who's back of the week?

Speaker 8 My who's back of the week is throwback jerseys.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 8 So obviously with the, you know, NHL season come to an end, college baseball come to an end, no more NBA. It is now kind of that like get ready for football

Speaker 1 time.

Speaker 8 And I saw the Patriots.

Speaker 1 Are you saying football's back?

Speaker 7 I saw the Patriots back.

Speaker 1 You just said the first football is back.

Speaker 8 I saw the Patriots put out that they're going to come and wear their red throwback jerseys this year. And that was the first time I was like, I think football's back.

Speaker 1 I can't wait to see it. Here we go.

Speaker 7 That's a record new time.

Speaker 1 I didn't say the words.

Speaker 1 No, but you did. I didn't say that.

Speaker 7 No, people are getting ready for football now.

Speaker 1 Football is back. Football back.

Speaker 7 Thank you, Hank.

Speaker 1 We're getting ready.

Speaker 8 We're getting prepared for it to be bad.

Speaker 7 The Patriots are wearing their red jerseys this year? Yeah. Are they going to have Pat the Patriot on the helmets? Because you can now do two different helmets, right? It changes everything.

Speaker 1 I like that. I think the Eagles are doing Kelly Green, which is like, they should always do that.

Speaker 8 By the way, who's back was NIL deals? Because

Speaker 8 four-star QB got $10 million from Miami.

Speaker 1 Yep, pretty good.

Speaker 7 He turned down, I think, $11 mil from Florida, and he went with $9.5 million from Miami.

Speaker 1 I think I might be outgunned with my

Speaker 1 let's make some sick t-shirt pitch to a bunch of high school kids that I slide in their DMs. I'm going to have to refigure this one.

Speaker 7 Yeah, so I think you have to shoot lower.

Speaker 7 You just have to go for two-star recruits.

Speaker 1 Yeah, maybe

Speaker 1 tank tops.

Speaker 8 He obviously signs. He's going to make more than that, too, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know because he's also just insanely rich because of the Manning family.

Speaker 7 Yeah, he's going to make money for sure in Austin. There's no doubt about that.

Speaker 1 But I could also see Arch Manning being like, because they have so much money being like, no, we're still college athletes. We're not taking any money.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 7 I feel like that was a pretty big deciding point for him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it probably was. But it is interesting having a guy being that rich

Speaker 1 also

Speaker 1 walk into that type of money.

Speaker 1 So good for Arch Manning. Good for this kid in Miami.
Four-star, too, right? Not even five. Damn.

Speaker 7 I think he was like number 30 overall.

Speaker 1 It was great for five stars.

Speaker 7 That's crazy.

Speaker 1 That's so normal.

Speaker 7 Well, Tennessee gave that one kid like $6 million.

Speaker 1 I realize now that how bad this is going to be for the kids if they suck oh yeah like they're going to get roasted because there's always been the oh they're just kids well that's but if a five star is getting nine and a half million dollars and he stinks people are gonna fucking crucify that's what arch has in his twitter bio it just says high school athlete so he might just do that i'm just a kid for the love of sport i'm just a kid yeah all right who's your who's back pf my who's back is quitting oh quitting's back specifically jason kokrak is that how you say his name the golfer oh so he Oh, yeah, I saw this.

Speaker 7 This was awesome. You remember Vantae Davis, the guy in the Bills that quit at halftime? Yes.

Speaker 7 So after his second round this weekend, he hit his second shot on the last hole 44 yards over the green into spectators that were on the road.

Speaker 7 And then he just finished up the hole and didn't even submit a scorecard. Just got in his car, left, and left to join the Live Tour.
Love it.

Speaker 1 Yep. That's a great way to do it.
It's awesome. Because then you didn't have to talk to anyone.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 Yeah. My other, who's back is cigarettes because jewels are getting outlawed.
Oh. Thoughts and prayers to Bubba on that one.
It's going to be tough. Listen, if you need any advice, I kicked it.

Speaker 1 I kicked a cold turkey back in Texas. Summer Sigs now.

Speaker 7 Summer Sigs analog cigarettes are back.

Speaker 1 Jake's back.

Speaker 7 Jake,

Speaker 7 quick question for you.

Speaker 7 Are you using again?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 I don't know. How'd it go in there? We're good.

Speaker 11 It was a pretty quick one.

Speaker 7 A number of diseases and conditions can cause diarrhea, including viruses such as COVID-19,

Speaker 7 bacteria and parasites,

Speaker 7 lactose intolerance,

Speaker 7 and digestive disorders like IBS,

Speaker 7 ulcerative colitis, celiac disease. Are you gluten?

Speaker 1 Do you think your mom's going to text you after this segment? Of course. And she'd be like, what's going on, honey?

Speaker 11 No, because this has been my thing my whole life. But the fact that it's on this show, like, why couldn't my body have done this an hour?

Speaker 1 Right, right. It's just synced up to the show.
Yeah. And we're doing a super fast show, too.

Speaker 7 Does that that make it tough? Like in the bedroom when you've got all these butthole issues?

Speaker 1 Well, he eats butt. He doesn't get his butt eat.
Well, no, is that true? I don't know. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Did you find out the ole mist thing?

Speaker 11 Ole mists was a term, well, slaves used to refer to the wife of a plantation owner.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, all right. So that's

Speaker 1 shouldn't ask that question.

Speaker 7 You don't want to dig around too deep for questions you don't want to know the answer to.

Speaker 1 All right, my who's back is

Speaker 1 Wild Things. Things.
Crazy Wild. Bonk.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 7 You know the movie?

Speaker 1 You thought of that.

Speaker 1 That's a bonk on you.

Speaker 7 All-time scene.

Speaker 1 That's a bonk on you, not me. Wild,

Speaker 1 Russell Wilson threw the first ever football at A.S. Monaco's practice field.
It was wild. He did a whole Instagram video and he's like, check this out, guys.

Speaker 1 No one's ever thrown a football on this field.

Speaker 7 And then he threw it. He broke the seal off.

Speaker 1 It was fucking nuts, dude.

Speaker 7 Did people go crazy?

Speaker 1 I mean, it was a where were you moment?

Speaker 7 Like, how the ball is like differently shaped from any ball that they've seen before.

Speaker 1 I was sitting on my couch while I was watching, and I was like, wow, it was like watching

Speaker 1 them land on moon, on the moon, which

Speaker 7 was actually just a sound stage while I'm gonna try to find it. Yeah, Stanley Kubrick directed it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Vegas.

Speaker 1 That's true, though, isn't it?

Speaker 1 I don't want to show him a football that I know, and it's the first pass, football pass ever here at A.S. Monaco Practice Facility.
Come with me.

Speaker 7 Come check it out.

Speaker 1 And then he threw the ball.

Speaker 7 That's crazy. Was it a good spiral, at least?

Speaker 1 Pretty good. Let's go.
Let's go.

Speaker 1 Let's go. Okay, now that's done.

Speaker 7 First ever. No, that's done.

Speaker 1 First ever.

Speaker 7 Listen, I'm surprised they didn't burn him at the stake for being a witch. Crazy.
When they saw that football. Because it's football.

Speaker 1 They say football over there.

Speaker 7 But it's a different football. It's shaped differently.

Speaker 1 There's been a lot of football passes, but never a football pass. Wow.
Crazy. Growing the game.
And then my other who's back is Mark Capell, which is actually a really cool story.

Speaker 1 Former number one pick in the MLB draft. I always know him as the guy that let the Cubs get Chris Bryant because Chris Bryant went the pick after.

Speaker 1 But he's talked openly about his struggles getting, you know, mentally getting through injuries and all these things. Everyone called him the biggest bust ever.

Speaker 1 He finally got called up to the Phillies over the weekend. Very cool story.

Speaker 1 One of those, like, yeah, sports are like, sometimes things work out for good guys who are just grinding.

Speaker 7 Yeah, he's a pitcher, right? Yeah. And so he had, I think he had Tommy John surgery.

Speaker 1 And then he had shoulder surgery.

Speaker 7 That's got to be so frustrating for a pitcher.

Speaker 7 Like, I'm surprised that more players don't just completely drop off the face of the earth after they get Tommy John's because it's like a year and a half worth of rehab.

Speaker 7 So, like, the moment that you're told you need Tommy John or you need a shoulder surgery, you have to just accept the fact that you're not going to throw a baseball for like nine months.

Speaker 7 I think it was more.

Speaker 1 I think I saw a tweet where he was like, I, when I got my, when my shoulder got fucked up, I, I couldn't play for 30 months. Yeah.
Crazy.

Speaker 7 Yeah, that's got to really fuck with you as a player. Yes.

Speaker 1 Good for him. Good for him.
And also the brawl between the Mariners and the Angels was awesome. Yep.
There should be more brawls.

Speaker 7 It's usually like right around this time of year. There's another brawl.

Speaker 1 Yeah, come on. More brawls.

Speaker 7 I love the second wave when it's the bullpin that runs out and it's like two minutes after the fight's already started and usually been like broken up.

Speaker 7 Then you get the bullpin guys coming in for the second round of pushes. But there were actually some punches thrown in this one.
Yeah, there were, which was nice to see.

Speaker 1 And the Angels continue to be the weirdest team ever because I think Mike Trout and Shohei Shohei Otani probably are 1-2 in terms of most electric guys to watch, and no one watches it.

Speaker 1 No one ever watches it. It's crazy.
It is crazy. Shohei Otani hit a home run the other night that was like jaw-dropping, and no one saw it.

Speaker 7 So we were talking about the sports biological clock that your body has earlier. This, to me,

Speaker 7 this is the exact right week to get a brawl in baseball. I just know a brawl is coming.
The other thing that I know is coming this week is going to be an NFL news dump. That always happens.

Speaker 1 Deshaun Watson is suspended for

Speaker 7 a year, but also indefinitely. They're going to drop that one on us on Friday.
Yep.

Speaker 1 Yep. Right before 4th of July, and the Browns are going to look.

Speaker 7 And then Baker. Baker might be going to Seattle.

Speaker 1 I would love to see Baker. I want to see Baker have to play for the Browns this year.

Speaker 7 I don't think he will.

Speaker 1 I don't think he has a choice. I don't know.
He's not going to play football? Yeah, maybe.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 7 He would come off looking very soft if that happened. Yeah, if he was like,

Speaker 7 I refuse to play football for you because you were mean to me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no chance. He'll play, and it will be very awkward.
And I hope he's good. Yeah, I hope he lights it up, and then everyone has to be like, shit, we signed Deshaun Watson.
And then, yeah, two.

Speaker 7 So, what if this happens? What if Baker gets him to the second, third round of the playoffs this year? And then

Speaker 1 the third round, that's, yeah, I mean, the AFC championship would be insane.

Speaker 7 Yeah, then Deshaun comes back next year, and Baker just lit it up. They're paying Deshaun $200 million, but Baker would, if he had, like, a Pro Bowl season, something to look forward to.

Speaker 1 Football's back.

Speaker 11 Did you see the pizza delivery portion of that brawl? Someone delivered a pizza to the Mariners locker room for Jesse Winker, and he got the pizza. DM the girl.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 Really? That's awesome. That is great.
That's great.

Speaker 7 That's also the most Mariner's story ever. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Because he got kicked out.
All right, who's your who's back, Jake?

Speaker 11 I don't know if I missed anything, so I apologize if I'm doubling. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The Water Dogs are back. Yeah.

Speaker 11 They won their first game of 2022. They smoked the defending champion Chaos in Baltimore over the weekend.
So congrats to them.

Speaker 1 Great. Good job.
Stay woke. Congrats on doing your job.
They have to give us a win eventually.

Speaker 1 One and three. They have to give us a win eventually.
So, like, of course, why not be against the

Speaker 1 defending champs? Yeah.

Speaker 1 A little too convenient, right?

Speaker 7 I was this close to offering my portion of the Water Dogs up to Stan Cronky. Because at least he would get shit done.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He would win. Winners win.
I've said that if the Water Dogs get above 500, I will issue a formal apology. Above 500.
Not 500.

Speaker 11 Above 500. They've never lost to me in attendance.

Speaker 1 Do they? Is that true? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know whether I want you to go or not go. No.
All right. I'm wrong.

Speaker 11 Last year I went to Long Island, LA.

Speaker 1 Oh, damn.

Speaker 1 You did a great job on your call. Thank you.

Speaker 11 Thank you guys for all.

Speaker 1 I also want to say a special shout-out because my favorite thing to watch when Jake is calling a game, there's times where I think he knows that we're watching and he's very

Speaker 1 particular. Do you know what I'm referring to?

Speaker 1 Maybe. Your co-host, Quint Kesenich,

Speaker 1 was like, man, this game's crazy. We thought there'd be 40 goals because I bet the over.
He's like, we thought there'd be 40 goals with the way the first quarter went.

Speaker 1 And you were like, well, hopefully there still will be. We're rooting for the over.
And I was like, data boy, Jake. Yes.

Speaker 11 They put the lines right above the scoreboard. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, you're free to talk about it. Right.
That's the future. Like, there's no

Speaker 1 more tips. That is.

Speaker 1 Jake Marsha is the future. Wait, we had Jake Marsh calling the sport of the future while there was lines.

Speaker 7 Lines of the future.

Speaker 1 We're just in the future. At what point do we say we're in the future?

Speaker 7 That was nice.

Speaker 1 It was wild. It was nice.
Yeah, the future's nice.

Speaker 11 So, like, the broadcasters don't really need to tiptoe around it anymore.

Speaker 1 No, it's out there. But I appreciate it because I know that in the back of your head, you're like, I know Big Cat has the over because he tweeted me and said that.

Speaker 1 Like, I'd be very upset.

Speaker 11 And it was a good start to that game, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, not a great start.

Speaker 11 The Archers didn't score in the second quarter.

Speaker 7 You looked extremely tall on television. Thank you.
I think the camera added like seven inches to your jacket.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it did look pretty tall. You were towering.
Yeah, you were a beast.

Speaker 7 My favorite thing that Jake told me, like a little behind-the-scenes nugget, is they give you cue cards in case, you know, to cover virtually any circumstance that happens during a game.

Speaker 7 And one of the cue cards was for a TV announcer apology, where if Jake had said something bad on the air, they had like a form ready to go where he was like, earlier in this broadcast, I said XYZ.

Speaker 1 And I like to apologize for that.

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 1 They were prepared for

Speaker 7 Jake to drop something bad.

Speaker 1 That's great. I love that.
You should frame that at the end of your career and be like, never had to use it. Yeah.
Knock on wood, yes. No, I'm not knocking on wood.
I hope you have to use it.

Speaker 1 Are you kidding me?

Speaker 1 I want you to use it so bad.

Speaker 7 Memes wants you to use it bad enough so you have a new template right now.

Speaker 1 I also want some really famous person to die during a PLL game, so you have to announce it. No.
Your John Lennon moment? How does that work?

Speaker 7 So, like,

Speaker 7 in terms of sports hierarchies, like, if you're announcing, I don't know, like a double A game or like a single A game or Savannah Bananas game,

Speaker 1 and like,

Speaker 7 what if the president dies?

Speaker 1 The president gets assassinated, Jake has to be.

Speaker 7 Jake after breakfast.

Speaker 1 He can run away from the archers and cannon. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. Now I'll knock up wood.
That would be incredible. That would be so great.
That would be so fucking great. Yeah.

Speaker 11 Maybe more to come later this season. We'll see.

Speaker 1 Yes. Okay.
Yeah. All right.
Do it. Great job, though, Jake.
Do it. Thank you, guys.
I appreciate it.

Speaker 7 Every time I see Jake on TV, I do get a feeling like almost of a proud death.

Speaker 1 Oh, look at your boy. Big time.
All right. Let's get to Ryan Whitney and Paul Bissinette.
Great interview with them. We also do the Mount Rushmore of Things that Change After You Turn 30.
Very funny.

Speaker 1 And we're brought.

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Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on two of our favorite guys in the world. Oh, yeah, there he goes.
He's putting on the headphones now.

Speaker 1 I lost three to one. What am I supposed to do? It is Ryan Whitney and Paul Bissinet in studio.
It's been a while since we had both you guys on at the same time. The old office.

Speaker 10 Yeah, the old office. Two on two, no back checkers.

Speaker 1 Two on two, no back checkers. We're kind of, I don't know if you guys, you guys probably didn't hear,

Speaker 1 you guys didn't hear our. I'm criminally horny.

Speaker 7 Like, I get a lot of shit for being horny, and I'm not. You are actually, you should be locked up.

Speaker 10 Well, I actually, I'm less horny now that I'm over 30.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Ooh.
Okay, so that's a preview. We're going to do the Mount Rush more of things that we're going to make it broad.

Speaker 1 So it's things that change after you turn 30, so it can be things that you suck at as well.

Speaker 10 Your dick size.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
But let's chop it up. Or your belly size, so your dick, you just can't see.
That's an optical.

Speaker 10 If you don't use it,

Speaker 1 you lose it. You lose it.

Speaker 1 We actually were talking about, how about this for a horse name? Leather Cheerio. Oh, that's a good.
Okay. Can you imagine Leather Cheerio winning the Kentucky Derby? Leather Cheerio?

Speaker 1 Where did this come from? Am I missing this?

Speaker 10 That's one of my buddies from Well in Ontario, the way he described a stripper's asshole when he went to the sundowner back in the day when he was

Speaker 1 lighting loonies and toonies up getting them hot and

Speaker 7 it'd be great if leather cheerio was like a brown horse that was really good in the mud too yeah

Speaker 1 disgusting looking horse so so we're taping this

Speaker 10 the jockey was a stripper instead of it's instead of continually ripping off your your goggles he's ripping off the domers

Speaker 1 it was that girl mercedes driving the horse

Speaker 1 yeah his little horseshoes are just big condoms magnums yeah i just oh i don't use leather cheerio um yeah i double bag those once. I'm not supposed to do that.
What, double bag?

Speaker 1 Yeah, frick freaks, dude.

Speaker 1 Tell me how to fuck my wife.

Speaker 1 Oh, congrats. Congrats on the marriage.
Yeah, congrats.

Speaker 1 Sounds like.

Speaker 1 All right, so we're taping this on Wednesday.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 there's Stanley Cup, and we're going to run it on Monday. So Stanley Cup has happened.
What?

Speaker 1 I just saw you. We're changing.

Speaker 8 We're doing the different format.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Taco will not be on the thick on his feet, dude.
A half hour ago. It's all-encompassing.
By the way, you already already have

Speaker 7 doing teams. We're not doing teams.

Speaker 1 We're doing things.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Hank, we just talked about being quick-witted and being able to think on your feet.
You're proving you can't do either. Oh, I'm ready.
Bitcat's just, I don't know. He's

Speaker 1 already in the world.

Speaker 1 No, he said it's the same thing.

Speaker 10 I think it's all gone to his head since he's been sitting courtside

Speaker 10 at the NBA finals. He's got splinters in his toes.

Speaker 1 Stop thinking you're so big time and just adjust. Everything that

Speaker 1 can still work. All right.
But I was going to say, so we're taping on Wednesday. We're going to run it on Monday.

Speaker 1 So, Stanley Cup final, do you guys want to give a prediction that's going to be wildly wrong by the time we get to Monday? What will that be, game? Tampa's coming back and winning this thing. Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 Really? But I've been on Tampa for the past two years. I've picked him to win the last two cups, and I picked him again this year because I won't pick them till they lose.

Speaker 1 So I'm not going to go against my feelings now because game three, which just happened,

Speaker 1 went exactly as I thought it would. Yeah.
So if Kuchrov's hurt, now granted, it's before game four, I know he's going Monday. If Kuchrov's hurt, we could be in trouble.

Speaker 1 But I think that now Vasilevsky's figured it out. Every series, Tampa just gets better and better.
Biz, have you noticed now that you're a big-time fucking TV star on TNT? Yeah, you are.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you are.

Speaker 1 Any shout-outs real quick? Oh, yeah, he thanked the whole thing. He thanked Turner Broadcasting.
He doesn't even remember, though.

Speaker 10 No, no, no, I thanked everybody because they were so kind in being able to mix in the Chiclets and Barstool brand

Speaker 10 with a major network. And

Speaker 10 maybe you're just a little jealous because ESPN pigeon-tossed you guys. Oh, no.

Speaker 1 no, no. Yeah, you two got absolutely people.
You guys got pigeon-tossed. You want to know why? You guys couldn't do what Biz does.
You want to know why? They gave you the sunk. You're hired.
Sunk.

Speaker 7 Because we didn't go on other shows and be like, hey, I'd like to take the next 30 minutes to thank a company.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you should.

Speaker 7 Hey, thanks to ESPN. We just want to say, ESPN, you're great.

Speaker 1 You should have gone out.

Speaker 7 Mickey Mouse pound me in my ass and call me Shastura.

Speaker 10 Things that suck after 30, giving double barrel wristers to every company I work for.

Speaker 1 How about that? Biz was thanking the room, the people who cleaned his room at the 40.

Speaker 10 I was getting shasturkined off stage there.

Speaker 1 They started playing the

Speaker 3 wrap that shit up. Wrap that.

Speaker 1 Who was it?

Speaker 10 I think it was Tyler the Creator when he was at the Grammys.

Speaker 3 They were like, wrap that shit up. Get the fuck off.

Speaker 1 What I was going to ask, though, like, are you watching the games now with a professional mind? Because I feel like you're walking around giving like, hey, who do you think is going to win the series?

Speaker 1 And you get into biz TV mode and you start breaking it down. It's like, dude, I just asked, like, if I asked Whitney that, he'll just be like, yeah, I think the lightning are going to win.

Speaker 10 Well, he just talked for a minute. I would say that, I'd say that it's going to come down to pivotal game four.
Winner of that game, I mean, that's a simple game.

Speaker 1 Well, that's basically a game five. What do you mean?

Speaker 7 We said pivotal means game five.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 These guys are trying to get it.

Speaker 1 They're trying to mess you up. It's a pivotal game four.
Don't fucking listen to them.

Speaker 10 If Tampa ties it at home in game four.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's basically a game five.

Speaker 10 I think that Tampa has a good chance of coming back in the series. Game four, if they lose it, it's over.

Speaker 1 No way that they win three in a row in game. So if it's 2-2, Tampa's family.

Speaker 10 Well, you told me to fucking keep it simple and off the glass and out Hal Gilstyle.

Speaker 1 You made him spit on himself. By the way, you could get Biz.

Speaker 1 You want his take on the series? And then he'll give it to you, and then you say, all right, now smoke Biz. And then he'll be like, oh, bro, Braun's in the stands.
We're on real. So I'm on Tampa.

Speaker 1 Colorado, Southern State. So you can get two different Biz's depending on when you catch them during the day.

Speaker 10 You get crackhead Biz, and then you get normal Biz.

Speaker 10 If I sit next to R.A. on the stream, I become crackhead Biz.

Speaker 1 Hey, Biz is Chappelle. Biz, right, like on TBS is like Chappelle doing his stand-ups, and and then Biz on Barstool is like Crackhead Chappelle from the skits.

Speaker 1 Tyrone was the biggest thing.

Speaker 7 It's a good question to ask, though. Is there a bigger swing that anybody in media has than sitting next to R.A.
on your podcast and then sitting next to Wayne Gretzky? That's a good question. On TNT.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, and then R.A.
sent Gretzky home from the one time I got to hang out with him because he asked him if Adam Oates was a better passer than him. I'll never get over that.
What did you have?

Speaker 1 You don't know this? No. Yeah.
Oh, my God. God, we had a night with Gretzky.
Let me explain. You had a million nights with Gretzky.

Speaker 1 They used to drink till freaking three in the morning together and tell all these awesome stories.

Speaker 1 I had it one night after we interviewed him, having drinks, Wayne's telling stories, stuff that he's not going to say on the podcast, you know, being a little bit more, not personal, but he's not being recorded.

Speaker 1 Right. And all of a sudden, R.A.'s talking to him for a while going,

Speaker 1 and I look and Gretzky just gets up. He's like, Good night, guys.
I was like, what the fuck just happened? We have videos. What happened? R.A., what'd you say?

Speaker 1 And he's like, I asked him if Adam Oat is a better passer than him.

Speaker 10 He's got more assists than anybody else who has ever played hockey has.

Speaker 1 It made Wayne leave. Wayne goes, nice meeting you.
Yeah, I mean,

Speaker 7 there's a lot of stuff you can say about Wayne Gretzky. I always like to say, like, Ovie's a better scorer than Gretzky is, a goal scorer.

Speaker 1 Well, not yet.

Speaker 7 But you can't say there's no chance that anyone could ever be comparable to him when it comes to assists.

Speaker 1 But is there, like, can you debate Eras? Like, it obviously was more offense when he played, right? Like, because that's obviously a big NBA debate, NFL debate.

Speaker 1 like you know any passing record that happens now you're just like okay whatever like they just pass way more than they they did 20 years ago yeah i don't think anybody's going to deny like the the equipment uh the the goaltending has obviously improved uh

Speaker 10 team structure the way that uh players handled their bodies in the offseason with whether it was training or you know how much they were boozing but just given how much he was better than his peers at that time i don't think that we're ever going to see anything like it I think Lemieux is close.

Speaker 10 You're seeing like Connor McDavid's basically what, twice as good as most guys in the NHL, but Wayne was like three times as good, maybe four times as good as some guys.

Speaker 1 He put I've argued that McDavids is good. Yeah, it's a tough one.

Speaker 10 I think watching McDavid and what he can do physically compared to everybody else, yes, we have never seen anything like that.

Speaker 10 But the sheer dominance and the amount of points that somebody can produce and comparable to the better overall competition, it's just going to be very difficult. difficult.

Speaker 10 Wayne was just so much more ahead of his time.

Speaker 1 When did they start butterfly technique and goalie?

Speaker 1 Because that's one of those stupid ones in sports where it's like even the last 10 years in the NBA, we're like, oh, yeah, three points counts more as two. You should probably take more of those.

Speaker 1 Like, oh, yeah, doing butterfly technology. I think that technique probably.

Speaker 10 I think that's a very strong comparison in the eras of

Speaker 1 goalies.

Speaker 1 Goalies were, it used to be get giant defensemen, big power forwards, and the goalies would be 5'6, like a bunch of Darren, a bunch of Darren Pangs. And if you win a round, he's a great guy.

Speaker 1 And now the goalies are all

Speaker 1 Vasilevsky 6'4. You want a 6'5 ⁇ goalie, and you're willing to deal with smaller players.
That's completely switched. That's what I'm saying, though.

Speaker 1 It's like such an obvious thing looking back on it. We're like, yeah, maybe a taller guy in

Speaker 1 a net that you're trying to guard is smart. Or a sumo or a sumo.

Speaker 7 But you don't even need the height necessarily, but having the long arms and the long legs, that makes a big difference. Like any of these toe saves, like you see a guy like Vasilevsky.

Speaker 1 It's crazy.

Speaker 7 I mean, you couldn't have a guy that's my size doing that.

Speaker 1 It's just funny seeing it in all sports. Like even you could say NFL, like the tight end position.

Speaker 1 It's like, oh, maybe we should have our biggest, strongest guy go and catch balls where no one can guard him.

Speaker 10 I don't think

Speaker 10 one thing is emphasized enough, though. Back then, it was like prison rules.
There was a lot more clutching and grabbing.

Speaker 10 If you went around a defenseman that was 6'5, who probably worked at the local grocery store or lumberyard in the offseason, he would just come in with a full. He'd slash your wrist and

Speaker 10 he'd take off your wrist.

Speaker 1 Like, legit. Like, break his wrist.
Boom. Good job.
Yeah, good defense.

Speaker 1 That's how to defense. You could, you could use the guy's arms hanging off.

Speaker 1 No suspension.

Speaker 10 Yeah, you suspend the other guy for being a pussy.

Speaker 1 The can.

Speaker 1 He's like, what's going on? He's got inflatable arms.

Speaker 7 Yeah, this guy's a China doll.

Speaker 1 Look at him. Yeah, yeah.
Outside of a hat bones.

Speaker 10 They had to take out the can opener. That was the way that defensemen used to play one-on-ones, where as soon as the forward would come down, you just put your stick in between his legs and he'd go

Speaker 1 and they would just like fall. And that was legal.

Speaker 1 Dude, you know what they should do? They should have an NHL. Like, I know the NHL has done a good job of growing the game.
They've done outdoor games. What if they just had an old-school rules game?

Speaker 1 Like, none of the goalies can butterfly. No health.
No CF, like 40 fights.

Speaker 1 No glass, just fencing with barbed wire on top.

Speaker 1 Everyone has to get shit faced the night before. How great would that be?

Speaker 1 The funny thing is if you go look, so the 04 Cup, Tampa beat Calgary. Then the whole season was canceled with the lockout the following year.
Then NHL came back with completely new rules.

Speaker 1 It was actually Biz and I's rookie year.

Speaker 1 The game completely changed. If you go watch game seven or any part of the cup finals in 04, it's like watching a game from 1950.

Speaker 1 Like the guy will dump the puck and skate by a defenseman, and the defenseman just takes him and just pushes him into the wall and holds him there.

Speaker 1 Yeah, or like the devil's like the trap and everything. Yes.
And Sean Avery just standing in front of him. Yeah, Alexander Grambell's on the glass.
The Sean Avery shit is hanging out.

Speaker 7 That was an ultimate moment because nobody had ever tried doing that before. And just one night, he decided he was just going to stand in front of the goalie and just kind of like hit him.

Speaker 1 There was an immediate rule change. The next day, they're just like,

Speaker 1 they're like, oh, my God, the Avery rule. Only he could do that.

Speaker 10 Actually, going back to the canopera, I think they took that out in that lockout because Brian McCabe used to do it right before that all the time. I think it was in 2000.

Speaker 10 You said 2003, 2004 was the last year before it.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 1 We had another geography moment with Big yesterday when I came to the studio here. I want to set it out for him.
I want to

Speaker 1 say, what other rules should there be for this throwback game? Oh, no helmets? No helmets. No, that would be hilarious.

Speaker 1 No helmets. Goalies wear that.

Speaker 7 You're allowed to wear that one, you know, like the Jason face mask.

Speaker 10 Yes, the paper mache face mask.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes. It would be, I mean, tell me that wouldn't be great to tune in.
Just like, obviously, player safety would be a big issue, but it would be awesome for

Speaker 10 any stitches you'd have to get with a rusty needle.

Speaker 1 You know what they do? Maybe they do. That would give you hepatitis.

Speaker 1 Maybe what they do is, and instead of so they have the regular all-star game, and then they just have an all-star game of every goon on every team, because they're not, maybe not as many goons anymore, but like guys that

Speaker 1 get in fights that what was the most memorable all-star game that you can think of?

Speaker 10 Yeah, the guy who got

Speaker 1 John Scott. So like, let's do that.
And then it doesn't matter because there's a big bunch of tough guys playing slow hockey, but it's hilarious to watch.

Speaker 10 We joked about with Grinnell and you guys about doing something like that where you compete with the NHL All-Star game where you you ask like maybe all these old goons to show up and do like a charity game or some sort.

Speaker 1 It would be incredible.

Speaker 10 Well, because a lot of those types of guys have a lot of personality too, so you can hear them saying some pretty interesting stuff on the would you play in it? I would probably try.

Speaker 10 We should do a broadcast team where we commentate.

Speaker 1 I'm in. Jake Marsh right here.

Speaker 7 I'll wear the Don Cherry suit a little throwing.

Speaker 1 Wait, tell the geography.

Speaker 7 Okay, so yeah, so the geography, it was a minor dust-up. It wasn't like a full-scale biz music.

Speaker 1 It wasn't Colorado in the South.

Speaker 7 It was similar. So we were talking about

Speaker 7 the end-of-the-season awards that they're giving out. And I was like, Do you think Austin Matthews is going to get the MVP? He was like, Yeah, I think so.

Speaker 7 Because with Toronto, they've got that East Coast media bias. And so Toronto, if you know geography, it's west above the field.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, no, he's not. It's west above the bank.
That's right. Are we counting Toronto? You have no idea what you're talking about here.

Speaker 7 No, I'm not saying it's not media bias. I'm saying is that East Coast media bias.

Speaker 1 It's just being he meant Eastern Conference. Eastern Times Conference.
He meant Eastern Conference. Yeah, it is Eastern Times Conference.

Speaker 10 I would say if you chop North America and divide it into three pieces,

Speaker 10 if you drew lines, what would you call that down?

Speaker 1 West, Central, East. I would call that time zone.
Yeah, we have three hours behind in LA,

Speaker 1 two hours behind in Colorado. Four, yeah.
Eastern time zone. Central.

Speaker 1 That's such a high line, though.

Speaker 7 Like we have the United States split into four, and he's like, no, let's make it three. Three seems better.
So in that case, you'd have the Eastern and then the Central and then West.

Speaker 1 So this is mind-boggling.

Speaker 10 The term was coined basically on the people that aren't staying up enough nights to watch the Western Conference. So they're just seeing

Speaker 10 Austin Matthews do his thing and then maybe not as many as Mick Davidson.

Speaker 1 That's real. That's absolutely real.
It happens with the Heisman in college football when you're not.

Speaker 1 The writers who vote for the Heisman, the majority of them don't watch every USC game at night or Oregon game. Like, that's absolutely real.
So thank you.

Speaker 7 I agree in the premise that there are a lot of hockey writers from Toronto, or at least have spent time.

Speaker 10 Dude, they're going to tell you what those guys had for pregame meal. They could tell you the last OnlyFans chick that they crushed.
They know everything about the players.

Speaker 10 That's how psycho they are about it there. That's probably why a lot of guys don't want to go play.
They're assigned there as free agencies.

Speaker 10 You can maybe say that about Canada in general, but when you go to Toronto,

Speaker 10 there's just, buddy, the fucking whole room's packed.

Speaker 1 They're walking all over the logo. There's about 100 media members when they have, speaking of Mick David, are you guys friendly with him do you talk to him?

Speaker 10 Yeah, yeah, well I talk to him a little bit.

Speaker 1 What do you what do you say about that little

Speaker 1 dust up on the street?

Speaker 10 We just we don't really like to get into the guy's personal life.

Speaker 1 Oh, we do just oh, okay. Well I'm just kidding.
Did we have that or we don't have an old video? Yeah, it could have been old video.

Speaker 10 I don't guys I honestly didn't look into it much other than the fact that I saw it once and then we were like, well, we're not talking about it.

Speaker 1 How about

Speaker 1 chivalry isn't dead? He's helping a young lady walk down the street after a night at the bar. That's where I'm nice.
It was a puddle. Yeah, and it was in the middle of the street.

Speaker 1 that's dangerous it was a puddle just trying to get her to the car exactly exactly i haven't seen the video i mean you know i'm

Speaker 1 just gonna shut up you're such a you're such a loser if you're if you're you're including that video on the big time loser move it's just like huge loser move i don't know but that speaks to you know it wasn't it in toronto so i speaks no idea where it was or the hockey it was yeah it was probably 10 years ago people people

Speaker 10 people in media always bitch especially in hockey oh there's not enough personality there's not enough personality there's plenty of personality they just take advantage of it and shit like that is why guys are

Speaker 1 they just fucking close it all off yeah the minute they get to the rink it's like a sonar system like

Speaker 1 they're not they're not saying a fucking word you get them as far away from the rink as possible and then they then they start to loosen up and like did you guys ever get burned like because i i actually agree with you like when you talk to athletes you can tell like you know, like a rookie or someone who's like in the second year, there's a little bit of a wide eye, like, this is awesome.

Speaker 1 And then, you know, they'll go through a couple years and they'll realize, oh, you know, I can get burned by people. People are trying to take advantage of me.
People are asking me questions.

Speaker 1 They're trying to get me. Did you guys ever get burned with yourself? I never got burned on, like, anything like off the ice or anything, but I do remember when I was in Pittsburgh.

Speaker 1 And granted, I was playing good when I was young and came to the league. So I would give reporters quotes.
I actually enjoyed, like, oh, after practice or games,

Speaker 1 I'd try to be not like the boring type of interview. And then all of a sudden, I started sucking.
And the same guys, they're like, hey, what's up, Wit? What do you think of the game last night? it?

Speaker 1 Those same guys were just carving me. I was like, Oh, I guess it doesn't matter.
You're not, you're not fret, you're not, you're not at all friends with them.

Speaker 1 Not that I thought that, but at any point in time that you're not playing good, they don't care that you've been a good quote, they're still gonna bury you, right?

Speaker 1 So, I was like, I was like, All right, well, fuck this, especially in Edmonton.

Speaker 1 I was like, I don't want to talk to any of these guys anymore, and that's why, but it's their job to talk about how bad I'm playing, so it still sucks, though, if you feel like you know the guy a little.

Speaker 1 And he's like, Whitney, with another minus three pathetic game, and he lost the he lost the puck in overtime, and this guy's lost. What is this guy doing?

Speaker 1 It's like and that's kind of where it comes into, like, where I think podcasting, a lot of the popularity is like, you guys do it really well on your show. I think we do it well on ours.

Speaker 1 We're like, we're not trying to burn anyone. We're trying to have a good conversation, let them feel comfortable to open up.
I got burned. You got burned? Bad.

Speaker 1 The baby Jones, the baby Jones. I've told the story.

Speaker 10 Well, I used to go on KUPD maybe once a month and just like shoot the shit. And I was saying stuff that athletes, like, especially who were playing,

Speaker 10 weren't like really saying on radio back then. I don't even think the team fucking.

Speaker 1 But the Coyotes had nine fans.

Speaker 1 The Yotes.

Speaker 10 Yeah, so I don't even know if the team knew

Speaker 10 what's going on.

Speaker 1 They don't even get to put their logo on the ice next year.

Speaker 10 That's still up for debate. That's not true.

Speaker 1 Shut the hell up. I think they're doing like.
Is this their locker room next year, your studio? They're playing in Arizona State if so many people don't know.

Speaker 10 It's going to be a good time.

Speaker 1 They can't even get the logo off.

Speaker 10 Spitting Chicolits is getting a box. We're going to do a bunch of charity work with it.

Speaker 1 With that rent of a bunch of people. Pink Whitney will be flowing.

Speaker 10 The brew that's coming out is going to be flowing. It's going to be awesome.

Speaker 7 That's how you know a team's like scraping the bottom of the barrel. They're like, fuck it, I guess, yeah.

Speaker 1 Let's give them a box because we can't get rid of and Brian Whitney in here.

Speaker 10 Dude,

Speaker 10 I still work for the fucking team.

Speaker 1 Oh, for the organization?

Speaker 10 I do between periods. I do pre-game, post-game.
I do ambassador work.

Speaker 1 I do charity work with the team.

Speaker 10 The ambassador work.

Speaker 1 It's amazing.

Speaker 7 Yeah, what does that mean to be an ambassador for a hockey team? It sounds like a great job.

Speaker 1 He thought it meant he'd have to do like yard work for local fans. No, I do.

Speaker 10 I'm actually building out the new stadium.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 by hand. Yeah.
He's going to take a while. Oh, I got to take it.
He's a super of the project.

Speaker 10 I got to carry the moiter over. I used to do that when I was growing up.

Speaker 1 I used to help out with the bricklayers. So, tell the story.

Speaker 10 So they like wanted to hook me up with this Baby Jones girl.

Speaker 1 And she was, and I'm like, oh, I remember this. Yeah.
And so

Speaker 10 I ended up taking her out on a date. You know, we go back home, we do our thing.

Speaker 10 And, you know, the next thing you know, the next morning, I'm getting a phone call from KPD at 8 in the morning being like, Baby Jones, saying that you have a small horn on the radio.

Speaker 1 Don't believe it. He's awful in the sack.

Speaker 10 He's awful in the sack. I'm like,

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 10 how am I going to go back myself up? Most of this is pretty true here.

Speaker 10 So it was a game day against the Chicago Blackhawks, so I couldn't even go on in rebuttal. But I thought that given the fact that I was giving these guys my time

Speaker 10 every month, they kind of threw me under the bus having her on.

Speaker 10 I got teed up for failure, and it played out in the Valley Radio, and I think everybody had a good chuckle, but I didn't really give a fuck.

Speaker 10 If it would have been in a market like Toronto or something, then

Speaker 10 I would have been hooped. And that is like I might have had, I might not have gotten laid for a couple of years.

Speaker 1 But you guys do it well where you protect the guys that you're friends with. And I, you know, sometimes we'll get criticized for it, but it's like, dude,

Speaker 1 we're not journalists. We're not trying to bust people up here.
I want you like, oh my God, my bro, we're not a shower. I was in a poll.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like Whitney's coming in here bashing our friend Brooks Kepka, who is suspended, by the way.

Speaker 7 I don't know if you saw that.

Speaker 1 We suspended him from the wake of the year.

Speaker 10 I don't know him, but he's fucking.

Speaker 1 He seems like a bit of a Gweek. the definition you got hard on.
He's the definition of golf. You just wish you were as good as golf.

Speaker 1 I'm just following you. Yeah, you think? I'd love to be as good as golf.
No shit, who wouldn't? But I never would act the way he does. What do you mean? Why wouldn't you want to be as good as him?

Speaker 1 I don't like golf.

Speaker 7 I think Brooks, what we like about Brooks is that

Speaker 7 he seems to dislike golf as much as most of us dislike golf. But he happens to be really good at it.
And that's a pretty good thing.

Speaker 1 I think that's such a prediction. I think that's such a

Speaker 1 guy just seems a little painful.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I'll say watching around with him, his body language is, yeah, it's a bit a lot of nonsense.

Speaker 1 Oh, your body language doctor now?

Speaker 7 We're the experts on body language.

Speaker 10 And what do you think of his body language?

Speaker 1 I think he's an awesome competitor.

Speaker 7 Great, nice human.

Speaker 1 Would you say Kobe had bad body language? Or MJ? Yeah, exactly. Same thing.
Winners.

Speaker 10 You're putting them in the same class as those guys.

Speaker 7 Look how much he's won.

Speaker 10 I don't know how much Wit wants to divulge, but yes, I have heard that

Speaker 10 he's maybe changed a little bit since all the success happened.

Speaker 7 Is it a bleached hair? You don't like the bleached hair?

Speaker 1 That was tough luck. Yeah, that wasn't the best luck, but that's the thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you got it.

Speaker 10 Can you just suspend him from your pod now?

Speaker 7 No, he's suspended from Blake of the Year.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Blake of the Year.

Speaker 1 Which means he has to. It's basically just some of the listeners don't really understand what the move there is to just get him to come on and talk about Toronto.

Speaker 10 Let me ask you a serious question.

Speaker 10 Had you heard anything negative about him from other people on tour?

Speaker 1 No, no, I don't really talk to anyone. They don't talk to anyone on Twitter.
Well, there you go. No, so

Speaker 7 the thing about Brooks is he he did a very smart thing by having this rivalry with Bryson because everyone hates Bryson. So even the guys.

Speaker 1 I think everyone ended up hating Kepka more.

Speaker 7 Everyone who was lukewarm on Brooks is like, well, he's not Bryson, so we like him.

Speaker 1 There was a moment where he was so painful that I think it switched. No, there was a moment where he maybe overplayed his hand because Bryson is so incapable of

Speaker 1 defending himself and not being a dweeb that people started to feel bad for him.

Speaker 10 I think

Speaker 10 they lost him on when he lost it on the rep about, was it Puma rep or something? He lost on a rep about his clubs.

Speaker 10 And that's where, yeah, Bryson did. So that's where I thought Bryson had actually had the lead about being a more likable guy.

Speaker 10 And then that came out, and you're like, oh my God, this guy's not making it easy on us.

Speaker 1 We can't get out of their own way. Yeah, we said, yeah, we said that from the beginning to Brooks, like, dude, just let Bryson just be Bryson and you'll win.
Because that's just an easy win.

Speaker 1 Because you're right. He just gets in his own way.

Speaker 10 The one defense I do have, though, is I wouldn't,

Speaker 10 it's, it's easy to say, but imagine being that famous and that good at your sport how you would be able to keep it on the rails and manage it and and not maybe in some cases look like a fucking asshole yeah like having the whole valley tell every you know yeah the BB Jones it was that bad was it that bad three inch horn

Speaker 1 lasted six seconds yeah it was like a sewing machine though

Speaker 1 was it that bad

Speaker 1 it was that bad

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 10 the performance was fine. She kept getting a phone call from her boyfriend the whole time, which she then

Speaker 1 She then went on.

Speaker 1 But she went into studio, I believe, with him the next day, which was so.

Speaker 1 That's awkward.

Speaker 1 She has to be like, oh, I had a bad time.

Speaker 10 That's what was throwing off my performance.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 10 I'm like, can you, you know,

Speaker 1 watching it all. Yeah.

Speaker 10 Yeah, it was actually a cuck video that never made it on ugiz.com.

Speaker 1 So still waiting for that to come out.

Speaker 7 She wasn't doing a very good job pretending she was stuck.

Speaker 1 And then that got into my own head.

Speaker 7 And I was like, wait, what's going on here?

Speaker 1 I have one last question before we do our Mount Mount Rushmore.

Speaker 1 Wit, we had Danny Woodhead on. He got to the, like, one step away from the U.S.
Open.

Speaker 1 Are you good enough that you could maybe one day get a step away? I'm not saying get to the U.S. Open.

Speaker 1 I think I could get through the locals. You have to go play.
It's one round, right? That's crazy.

Speaker 1 And then I think like a buddy of mine got through last year where I think there was four spots, maybe even five spots to get through locals. It's one round.

Speaker 1 If you're one of the five best scorers, you go through and then you go to sectionals and then you have no chance.

Speaker 1 Okay, then it's then it's sectionals is 36 holes in one day, and that's all the PGA guys who aren't in the open area. That's running against Duffner, yeah.

Speaker 1 So it's like then you have no chance, but the locals ones, especially in a maybe a place like Massachusetts, where you're not going to get like you know, you get great players, local, great players.

Speaker 1 But if I would, if you go out, put it this way, you go out and shoot even par, that day it could be enough to get you through locals. Right, now I don't know what Woodhead shot.

Speaker 7 I think he shot, I think he shot minus one in the locals.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so there you go. Like it gets through minus one.
It's not like you even have to shoot. Like then at the sectionals, through 36 holes, you got to shoot usually like six or seven under.

Speaker 1 It's too much golf, too.

Speaker 7 36 holes in a day, like competitively.

Speaker 1 I would love that. Yeah, competitive.
That's a grind. Falling the hole.
That's his wedding anniversary. Have you ever gone to the bottom?

Speaker 10 36 holes with Brunch in between.

Speaker 1 No, buddy, buddy. We went to Colorado to fall around the Stanley Cup finals.

Speaker 10 This is how much this guy loves golf.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 10 And on his wedding anniversary, Bree came out. He ends up golfing in the morning.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 that's your day, too. Yeah, and she went to the spa and like shopping.
Like, that's a hell of a relationship if you didn't meet up after. Yes.
And you have a nice lunch and we went to the game.

Speaker 1 It was a wonderful anniversary. That's beautiful.
I respect it. She lets me do what I love, and I let her do what I love.
That's lovely. Shop and go get massages.
But

Speaker 10 another thing, you qualified for what? The U.S.

Speaker 1 No, Mass Am. That's just local Massachusetts amateur tournament.
That's like not U.S. Open shit.
It's way different. Have you ever played more than 36 holes in a day? Yeah, I've played 55.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 one day we played at eastward hoe it's biz's course hoe eastward hoe in chatham massachusetts beautiful course we teed off at like 7 a.m played 54 holes then i went to my buddy's wedding it was an amazing day

Speaker 1 what a beast i can't even get 12 holes in well we're in a cart yeah and i mean i'm not i'm not heavily drinking the entire time like that sounds awful from my understanding in canada they're starting to build uh 12 hole golf courses that's perfect 12 or i think 14 yeah 12 to 14 is actually what will probably really grow the game of golf yes Yes, and night golf.

Speaker 1 Night golf, par threes where you can just. Yeah, because like a lot of guys don't, can't get away from their families and stuff.
Boom.

Speaker 1 Kids go to bed, go at 8.30, play a par three course, two and a half hours, drinks, music. That's what will grow golf.

Speaker 1 I'm in for that. I'm in for that.
Because then also you can, what is it, the light-up ball? No, you just need the course to be lit up. So it's like, that's kind of the issue.

Speaker 1 But if you have a shorter course, it's easier. I hear that things are starting to pop up like that more often, but it's still expensive with the electricity bill.

Speaker 1 The ADD invitation. This can build it, though, because that's him being an ambassador.
We should do a sandbagger with you guys. Oh, I'd love that.
How good are you? So bad.

Speaker 10 Yeah, it gets a bit more.

Speaker 1 Maybe they lost like a bunch of dollars to Elio and Portnore. I lost six grand to Elio in 14 holes.

Speaker 1 And he made me pay. What a scumbag.
Of course he did. Of course he did.
It was so bad. It was, at one point, we were down, I think, like, I think I was down like seven or eight grand.

Speaker 1 And I was like, I should just quit right now. And then we made a little comeback, and I was like, thank God.
But it was, yeah, it was very bad.

Speaker 10 Can I go take a piss before we start?

Speaker 1 This guy has a very small bladder. I could do it in a bottle in here if you guys want.
We should do that, Wit. That would be a very funny video.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 Maybe we'd split up the teams, but like we were terrible. Yeah, we have to do something.
Well, Hank's now like a golfer. Well,

Speaker 7 he entertains clients on the course. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's out there. He's an executive.
We should have to make idiot Billy Football stand on the green. He can't move.
So if we can hit him, that's like an aspect. Now you five iron, 200 yards.

Speaker 1 I'm interested in it. Let's just have him lay down.
You can't move. Hopefully he'll be diabetes.
Hit him right in the forehead.

Speaker 7 He said he's got liabides.

Speaker 1 He's a liabetic.

Speaker 7 He has a liabetic, which is a perfect description for him. Yeah, he is.

Speaker 1 He's got a serious problem. You guys got to fucking figure that out.
We did. We sussied him.
I know. I love that he sussied.

Speaker 7 Yeah. Do you guys have a, who's the Billy football of spitting chiclets?

Speaker 1 I don't know. I don't know.
Everyone's got me. Yeah.
The best, you know what the best was?

Speaker 1 Because, you know, Billy is Billy, and everyone knows Billy, but when we sussied him, he was like, good, now I got time to do all the stuff.

Speaker 1 Does the part of my take fan base like or hate Billy? They like him. A lot of them like him.

Speaker 7 I think there's some people got irritated.

Speaker 1 I feel like he's hating. So they feel like

Speaker 1 the young kids love him.

Speaker 7 They feel like he's

Speaker 1 their dream job.

Speaker 7 And so they get mad because they're like, oh, Billy is ruining his shot at the dream job.

Speaker 1 I feel like kids, I feel like people in their,

Speaker 1 yeah, like very young

Speaker 1 love him. And then like fans that are around his age, like early 20s, probably hate a little bit that they don't have that job.
And then late 20s like him again. And then 30s are like, this kid is

Speaker 1 frustrating. Yeah.
So he runs the gambit. But we've said he's had something to the show.
He's entertaining.

Speaker 1 He just needed to get sussied. Yeah, he needed a big sussy.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Who got sussied? Billy Football.

Speaker 7 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Fuck. That's right.
We're going to have him stand on the greens when we play them in golf and just he can't move.

Speaker 10 We should do a wife swap. You guys get R.A.
for a a month and then we get Billy Football.

Speaker 1 Can we sussy him? What do you mean? Can we sussy him? If R.A. walks the door and like sussied.

Speaker 7 We're addicted to sussy.

Speaker 7 We're on a two-game shot.

Speaker 10 You should get the yellow card and the red card.

Speaker 1 You're out of here, buddy.

Speaker 7 Have you guys watched R.A. on Shorzy?

Speaker 1 I have not seen Shorzy.

Speaker 10 I've seen the clips.

Speaker 1 I've got teammates, huh? Yeah, well, no, I've seen, buddy, I've got to see if you're a motherfucker.

Speaker 10 How many fucking tweets do you want me to send out?

Speaker 1 I want them to be from the heart. He actually saw it.
I agree with you. We've talked about the technology.
What do you think I've done that R.A.'s watched? Yeah, that's a good point.

Speaker 1 You think R.A.'s watching Sandbaggers? No.

Speaker 1 You guys ever seen The Town? Yeah, you guys. I've seen it up a million times a million.
We talk about it on every podcast. That and Shorzy since it happened.

Speaker 7 It is very funny, though, that the start of the series, it's R.A., like at the beginning of it. It's like, here's our introduction to the series.
It's R.A.

Speaker 7 talking about, like, what is the first thing that he says? He's like, oh, yeah, that guy's a dirty player. And it's like, whoa, this is.
It sounds, he's got a voice like a cartoon character.

Speaker 7 That's what I love about it.

Speaker 10 Oh, you can recognize it anywhere. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Shit.

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Speaker 1 All right, let's do the Mount Rushmore. You ready? Sure.
All right, so since Hank is not 30 yet, he wrote a list that he'll give it to us after. You're not

Speaker 1 going to be the backlist. No.
Oh, shit.

Speaker 1 Holy shit. Imagine all this kid's accomplished.
He's still in his 20s.

Speaker 1 I've said it many times that when Hank turns 30, it's going to be like an existential crisis for me because I've known him since he was 19. 18.
God.

Speaker 1 19. 19.
Yeah. So I've known him for his entire 20s.
Last few years. Yeah.
All right. So you guys ready? You want to start, Biz?

Speaker 1 No, I don't want to start. Things

Speaker 1 that change after you turn 30. So it could be things you suck at, just life changes, whatever.
Just kind of a huge. I actually will start.

Speaker 10 I'll have one that I think you'll really enjoy.

Speaker 1 So it's going to be a snake draft. You understand that?

Speaker 1 Sure.

Speaker 1 So you explain it to me. I got a hose too.
I should have gone one biz.

Speaker 1 Explain to me how you think a snake draft wins.

Speaker 10 Why can't I just play my game and you guys?

Speaker 7 Well, because you have to play your game, but inside the concept of the Mount Russell draft. So the structure of the draft, how would you think a snake draft draft went?

Speaker 10 You're taking what you think would be the top pick in that topic to not allow anybody else to have it, and then explain a little bit why it is you

Speaker 1 made that decision.

Speaker 7 So then let's say you go first.

Speaker 10 I have one that's going to floor Big Cat.

Speaker 1 So you go first.

Speaker 7 And then Ryan's up next. And then me.
And then it's me after Big Cat. And then who? And then what goes after me?

Speaker 10 So things that suck after you go to the next one.

Speaker 1 No, no, but wait, wait, wait. So who goes after PS? Ryan went.

Speaker 7 Big Cat went. I went.
Now we've all four gone.

Speaker 1 Who is that?

Speaker 1 You go first again. Yes, there you go.
You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I know how the fuck it works. Come on, guys.
Well, you looked at us like you didn't.

Speaker 10 No, because

Speaker 10 I was overjoyed with my first answer and how much you'll appreciate.

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Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 7 he answered while you were out.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, you'll have to listen to what he said. I don't, I mean,

Speaker 1 nothing.

Speaker 10 I feel like he maybe sometimes he gets a little bit cranky and whines, but it's kind of funny. He's a funny whiner.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Do you want us to tell you what he said? Sure.
You got a small peen.

Speaker 10 Why would he care about that? You know what he would probably say? How much I asked him to do for work.

Speaker 1 what do you mean like i i i try to chisel too much work off him and he's like dude shut he's like i just want to golf yeah yeah yeah right would you say that that's probably my most annoying quality is i'm always asking for us to do more stuff and you're like dude this is a joke like let's just do the pod yeah but it's not it's not annoying because he's like making us money so yeah i respect the hell out of it you have the dream he didn't make he didn't make the money i made playing hockey so i respect it he's grinding now to make his dough like i i yeah sometimes i'm like holy shit, but

Speaker 1 I love you for it.

Speaker 1 You actually, like, if I had to pick one person who has the dream life, it's you. I mean, that

Speaker 1 would let me.

Speaker 1 I mean, you've interviewed a lot of AEW.

Speaker 1 No, but you get to do the fun stuff, but you're also, like, I respect that you don't do, like, you could, you could move to New York and work here full-time and be a star.

Speaker 1 I'd rather be Philly football. Right, but

Speaker 1 you are like really good at managing, like, this is what I want to do. This is what I don't want to do.
You have the dream life for me.

Speaker 1 And for the record, I have an average-sized cock okay i just want to put that out okay yeah it sounds like you're

Speaker 1 pleased update the record it's average at all i've never

Speaker 1 like colorado's in the south it's average i've never had to give a press conference announcing the size of my penis i'll put it that way

Speaker 1 i'd like to thank everybody from tnt all season long uh i'll be 20 minutes here guys give me a few for the dick pump they gave me to grow this thing yeah yeah bulging my crotch area with the hd lenses in studio did they explain to you what a snake draft is yeah he got i know what a snake draft is.

Speaker 1 Did you ever do one with Barcelona Chicago? Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 10 I figured out what a snake draft was about halfway through that one. That was the learning.

Speaker 1 That was, yeah, that was where we learned. All right, so go ahead.
Let's go. First pick.
Biz, right away.

Speaker 10 Your dependency on coffee after you turn the age of 30.

Speaker 1 That's a fact. That's a good one.
I didn't have that one. That is an absolute fact.
That's a good one.

Speaker 10 I mean, you're thinking you're taking on more responsibilities, whether it's with work, whether it's the fact that you have a family.

Speaker 10 You know, if you have kids, you've got to be cranking at least four or five cups a day, even to just get your fucking day started. Big cat, I see you post about it every single morning.

Speaker 1 I love coffee.

Speaker 10 And I know that you can really relate to this one, and I'm sorry if I stole it from you.

Speaker 1 No, that's a great one.

Speaker 10 Most people in America can agree that your dependency on coffee, and it sucks because there are a lot of consequences to it. If you stop, you get headaches.

Speaker 1 Oh, there's days where... You need to keep drinking it.

Speaker 1 So I have a cup like right when I wake up, but then I'll sometimes like get busy or something and forget because I usually have another cup around 10 a.m.

Speaker 1 And if I miss that one at like two I'm just like what's happening to my body yeah you're like am I having a seizure

Speaker 10 old lady yeah sorry I need my coffee

Speaker 1 it's like yeah

Speaker 1 we should do that as a sketch turn into a raging bull yeah yeah

Speaker 7 a bad drunk you're just a bad non-coffee drinker man what's wrong with you I need a cup of coffee you know that something kicks ass when there's a big movement of people that try to like tell you how to quit it right so now it's like a thing where people are like I'm doing a caffeine detox yeah I'm quitting coffee coffee and they quit for like two months and then they go back and they're like i just had to prove to myself that i could exist without it turns out it sucks going back to it now i'm addicted again full time yeah oh why you actually did that or you're saying people do that no some people i would

Speaker 1 but but why if that's your problem that you're trying to quit like Settle down. That's a pretty decent problem to have.
I mean, there could be way worse things we'd be addicted to.

Speaker 10 Have you guys ever had a scientist on to explain the

Speaker 10 bad things about caffeine?

Speaker 1 No, they always release, big coffee does a great job marketing because, like, every three months, the New York Times would be like, study shows that coffee drinkers live 10 years longer than everyone else.

Speaker 1 So they're doing a good job. Yeah.

Speaker 10 Would you guys start a coffee company with me?

Speaker 1 Sure. Okay.
Be ready for phone calls. Okay.
Let's talk. I'm not going to.
Yeah. This isn't.
Okay. Why?

Speaker 10 Then it could sponsor your pod. It could sponsor our podcast.
And then we like, you know, maybe one day if they fucking say.

Speaker 1 We're really hurting for sponsors.

Speaker 7 Wait, so you're saying start your own company so that your company can sponsor your own podcast.

Speaker 1 Correct. That's fine.
Double dipping, baby. That's genius.
That is genius. This guy's smart.
This guy. This guy's

Speaker 1 a big coffee today. I'd like to thank my coffee company.

Speaker 1 That's a good 1-1. All right, Witt, go ahead.

Speaker 1 I would say

Speaker 1 just the hangovers. Yep.

Speaker 1 This is like the 1-1 draft payoff. It's plain DHM detox.
You can't. Drinking, I say the drinking is the only thing in the world.
The more you do, the worse you get at it.

Speaker 1 And over 30, it's like, I don't know.

Speaker 1 For me, this list, once we talked about this yesterday, a lot of it's actually 35 for me.

Speaker 1 In the last four or five years, it's been even bigger than 30 to 35. But overall,

Speaker 1 dude, I cannot.

Speaker 1 Cannot go out if I have something to do the next day.

Speaker 1 And if I'm drinking, I have to drink from noon to 8 p.m. Get my seven, eight hours.
I'm fine. But dude, if I'm up till two in the morning drinking, I'm actually done for like two to three days.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. No, you know what it is? And you're right about the 30-35 thing.
I think 30 is when these things start to creep in. 35 is when they hit like.
And I got married when I was 35, so that really

Speaker 7 I got my first hangover when I was 31. Yeah.
And I was like, what is what is this?

Speaker 1 What's your feeling? So I remember

Speaker 1 I was just out of call. I was say 22.
I used to, we'd go out every Friday, Saturday night, say we'd train during the week, right? All the guys playing, but we'd rip it up.

Speaker 1 Every Friday, Saturday night, I'm talking till 3-4 in the morning. Saturday starts right back at it.
Every Sunday morning, I would play softball in Situate, my hometown.

Speaker 1 I'd go down and play softball it was a 9 a.m. start and I'm like I can't even fucking move my body at night I was out two straight nights and then I'd play softball 9 a.m.

Speaker 1 I wasn't even I felt great yes dude and in and like bachelor parties it's all it's now three days because it's like Monday you're terrible Tuesday it creeps in and then Wednesday you're not hungover you just don't feel right and you're like I'm not normal I can't tell you the last time I went on a bachelor party maybe three four years ago I go on golf trips which I guess turn in basically

Speaker 1 bachelor parties and then yeah you come home and you need a vacation from the vacation. Yeah, yeah.
But

Speaker 1 I'm sorry to go long-winded, but drinking and hangovers after 30 is the biggest thing. That's why you need DHM detox.

Speaker 10 No days wasted.

Speaker 7 It's a good, it's a good thing.

Speaker 7 Yeah, and the delayed onset hangover is brutal.

Speaker 1 The worst thing is so bad.

Speaker 1 I'll be fine.

Speaker 1 Weed can help that a little. Yeah.
Like, weed's kind of created, I think, to just like a little puff of your hungover might help you, but then you're just like on another planet from that. too.

Speaker 1 So yeah. But you're absolutely right.

Speaker 7 Like a great life hack once you turn 35 especially is just go out and daydream.

Speaker 1 Just daydreaming. Just daydream.

Speaker 7 And then go back home, have a giant meal on your couch, and then fall down.

Speaker 1 Pass out on the couch.

Speaker 7 Yeah, pass out on the couch, wake up, you know, get like 10 hours of sleep, and then you're at least manageable the next day.

Speaker 1 The rule I always go is getting drunk is still fun, but once you're drunk, it's time to go home. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Like, beers one through seven are so much fun, and then when you're like, oh, wait, I'm drunk, I'm out. If I have, yeah, if I know I'm drunk, I just, it's the biggest Irish actually you've ever seen.

Speaker 1 Out. All right.

Speaker 1 I'll go with another one that I think is high on the list and similar to Hangover's heartburn. Heartburn, after when you get older, like it's

Speaker 1 last night. It sucks so bad to have to actually think about these things where it's like, oh, I shouldn't eat these wings at fucking 9 p.m.

Speaker 1 tonight because I'll be puking in my mouth at 4 in the morning.

Speaker 1 We remember when we took, we were in Vegas probably three years ago, four years ago, and Hank had his first ever heartburn and he explained it to us and we're like, yep, buddy. The puke comes up.
Yep.

Speaker 1 Yep. Yep.

Speaker 1 And it's like, you just, it just hurts and you just feel like shit uh yeah like having to actually think like ooh i shouldn't eat this this late at night or this is gonna like if i have a beer and a wing like it's gonna fuck me up so that's the worst i carry i carry around tums now like it's my wall yeah so i recently made the upgrade from doing tums and keeping tums on me to now i take the one a day pills which is like supposed to get ahead of it yeah get ahead of it yeah it's like okay this is just a problem i'm gonna have to deal with so for the rest of my life i'm gonna just take like a morning pill and then i'll be moderately I still take the thumbs.

Speaker 7 I double dip on that, but it helps. So that's that's a big switch in your life when you realize you just accept the fact like my stomach's going to suck.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like until I die. Yeah, and I think about like when you're 21 in college, you're like, oh, I'm going to eat Taco Bell at two in the morning.
If I did that now,

Speaker 1 I actually might die. I might be like, fucking whoops.
Yeah, I think you're going to be able to get it. I didn't even have to go to puke, you know, choking on my own puke.

Speaker 10 You just have to really change up your diet as you get older. You don't even really need to exercise that much.
It's more about the diet.

Speaker 1 If I have Italian with red wine and then chocolate after,

Speaker 1 those three right there,

Speaker 1 those three right there, you're waking up at 2 a.m. with a rush of puke through your side.
Like a Siamese cat and eat a shit.

Speaker 1 That's a heart bomb.

Speaker 7 Red sauce and wine are barbecue and whiskey.

Speaker 1 Either one of those two combos. Yes.
You got two picks, Pierre.

Speaker 7 All right, this is tough because a lot of mine are off the board right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I knew Heartburn was on there. I had

Speaker 7 digestion.

Speaker 7 Is that the same as Heartburn?

Speaker 1 Yes. Yeah, where it's

Speaker 7 mine was also also about my asshole, too. It's like

Speaker 7 taking too many shits. But I'm not going to say that.

Speaker 1 You can do bowel movements because that's kissing, too, changes. I'm going to say making new friends.

Speaker 1 That's a great one. Yep.
That's a great one.

Speaker 7 When you're 30, you usually have your set group of friends.

Speaker 1 I'm all set. I don't need any more friends.
You don't need more friends.

Speaker 10 You trim the fat, actually.

Speaker 1 You trim the fat.

Speaker 7 Everybody, yeah, get less friends, as a matter of fact.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's hard to keep friends.

Speaker 7 But when you meet new friends after the age of 30, it's usually built around an event that's taking place in your life and not necessarily because you have something in common with them. Yes.

Speaker 7 You know, it's like, oh, this person works in the same office as I do and I don't hate him.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 Okay, yeah, I guess we're friends. Oh, this person plays fantasy football.
Yeah, I'll talk to them. I guess they're my friend.

Speaker 7 But it's not the same level of closeness because I think what really makes you close with a friend is getting into trouble together with that friend. Yeah.
That's what forms that bond.

Speaker 1 Well, and doing fun stuff. When you get over 30, you don't do that.
Yeah, like sitting. The funnest times that you can remember with your friends is not even like going out.

Speaker 1 It's like waking up the next day and like all being in a house together and like, you know, busting each other's balls. Like, you don't get that anymore.
No, you don't because the kids got baseball.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. You got to get in the dry clean.
Yeah, it's over. Good pick.
Good pick. Pick that.
You're up. Oh, no.
No, you don't know the snake.

Speaker 7 You don't know the snake.

Speaker 1 You're up again. I'm up again.

Speaker 7 So for my next one, I'm going to go just sleep.

Speaker 1 Just sleeping.

Speaker 7 Sleeping is tougher

Speaker 7 once you hit 30. It's harder to fall asleep.
It's harder to stay asleep. When you wake up in the morning, you don't feel like you've slept the full night.
It's just, it's not the same.

Speaker 7 It hits different after you're 30.

Speaker 1 I would do anything, anything to sleep in. To be able to sleep in.
I'd kill a small animal. I would do, I would, I wouldn't do that.
I shouldn't have said that. But I want to just set an alarm again.

Speaker 1 I don't need to set an alarm. Do a small chipmunk.
I'd kill a chipmunk. Yeah, yeah, like a little bird.
Little bird. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, I'm just telling you, I don't need, if, if, if, if I need to be up for a flight or something at five in the morning, yeah, you need the alarm. But at 6 a.m., my eyes open no matter what.
Yep.

Speaker 1 And it kills me. Yep.
Yep. It's, it's impossible to sleep in.
All right. Uh, I got next pick.

Speaker 1 I'm going to say that when you get past your 30s, something that really sucks is all the athletes you're watching are younger than you.

Speaker 1 And being like, like you start calling athletes kid and like shit like that, where you're like, oh, okay, like Luka Doncic is like 13 years younger than me.

Speaker 1 Like that shit just like kind of fucks you up where you're like, what am I doing?

Speaker 1 I'm watching like, you know, because you grow up and you have athletes that are older than you and they're like, oh, yeah, that's my hero.

Speaker 1 And then you get to a point where you're like, fuck, I'm older than everyone in this league. Yeah.
And that sucks.

Speaker 7 I don't think you can have a hero that's younger than you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right.

Speaker 7 That's always tough to do.

Speaker 1 It's like thinking about like watching college basketball. It's like, I'm rooting for a 19-year-old.

Speaker 7 I'm double his age. When Zion got into the league and people on TV were like, this fat ass needs to watch his diet.

Speaker 7 It's like, dude, you're just like on television, like really, really caring about the body size of an 18-year-old.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right, right. It's just weird.
It fucks with your head.

Speaker 1 And it's just like, you have moments, you still root hard, but like you also have moments where you like step back back and you're like, whoa, what am I doing?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm gonna get hit with a restraining order.

Speaker 7 Yeah, like, what's happening? You know what's my body shaming it? Is when the first person who's younger than you retires from sports.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're like, what?

Speaker 1 No, no, don't do that. Yeah, wait, I still think the college guys are my age.
Yes, yeah, yeah,

Speaker 1 dude. When you see a college, when you see the NFL draft, the quarterback that goes 1-1, you're like, that guy's older than me.
And if he and if he saw us, he's like, hey, sir, Mr. Whitney,

Speaker 1 what the fuck? We're the same age, bro. Yeah.
All right.

Speaker 1 You're pickwit. Okay, mine would be, and this has been a big problem for me, just

Speaker 1 waking up and something's injured. Yum.
The injuries from sleep. And like,

Speaker 1 I wake up and I'm like, oh, my God, I can't move my neck. What the fuck happened? Oh, you went to bed.
Like, oh, really? This is what happens now?

Speaker 1 Like, I wake up, my foot, I can't walk really correctly. Like, you have these injuries that happen from nothing.
Whether it's, I guess, sleep, what I meant.

Speaker 1 Also, like, you can sneeze in like Sammy Sosa style, throw it your back. Like, that's after 30.
That doesn't happen in your 20s. So,

Speaker 1 random injuries basically that come from nowhere.

Speaker 10 It happened to me the other day.

Speaker 1 I woke up, my entire left arm completely not there. Yeah,

Speaker 7 I'm talking, like, not even pins and needles. I mean, like, there was nothing going on nerve-wise in my entire arm.
And then I do some research about it.

Speaker 7 I either slept on it really wrong, or I've got like some injury that I'm just going to have to wake up with a dead arm once a month.

Speaker 1 And you'll never do a thing about it either. And it's also like just any, like, I was at a wedding a couple weekends ago, and I woke up and I was like, my ankle hurt.

Speaker 1 And I I was like why is my ankle hurt and my my friends are like dude you were so fucked up you were just Euro stepping people in the middle of the street at like two in the morning it's like why did I like that why was I doing why was I doing that like of course I'm injured from that I was I was going to a golf I was going to play golf this was two years ago and I got to the road where I'm on the road and then I got to look I got to merge onto a road left and all I did was just go like this

Speaker 1 slowest turn to the left and I couldn't even go play I was I was like I got to go to the hospital like I just turned left

Speaker 1 another one is picking up your kids. Oh, yeah.
Like, if you pick up your kids, like, I just hurt myself once a week just picking up my kids with a weird angle.

Speaker 10 You should hire a guy to

Speaker 1 hand me my kids.

Speaker 10 No, you can go in and lean in for the kisses, but he has to continually hold the kids.

Speaker 1 Yes. All right, your pick.
Two.

Speaker 10 I was just going to say, overall, like grooming and maintenance in the fact that you start having hair coming out of weird skin.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, nose and white hair.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the ear.

Speaker 10 I get these long ass eyebrows,

Speaker 1 eyebrow lashes. Oh, dude, yeah, it's bad.
They're like this. Nose hairs.

Speaker 10 Hey, well, nose hairs, and not only that, but you got nose.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're really on me. I have a couple hairs on top of it.
His hairs growing on top of it. Go look at his nose.
Oh, man, that's whiskey.

Speaker 1 That might be the beginning of whiskey nose, too.

Speaker 10 Can we please post like a video or a picture of the hair that's growing on top on the point of his nose?

Speaker 1 Dude, what do you want me to do?

Speaker 10 I think you should start getting it waxed.

Speaker 1 Eyebrow combo.

Speaker 1 He's got a mock three. The unibrow.
I'm done with it.

Speaker 10 Do you guys pluck your unibrow?

Speaker 7 No. I've never had to deal with that.

Speaker 1 No, so I'll set up my unibrow.

Speaker 10 I shave my unibrow. I do it all.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think you do for one.

Speaker 1 I would be next to my wife on the couch, and she gets up all of a sudden, comes back with tweezers, and is just pulling ear hairs. And your eyes are watering.

Speaker 1 You're like, ah, she's like, getting all these

Speaker 1 ear hairs are disgusting. I'm like, what? I didn't know I had those.
So

Speaker 1 that's a great pick.

Speaker 10 I think this is the obvious one: sex drive.

Speaker 1 Okay. After the age of 30.
Yeah, yeah, you don't want to hump.

Speaker 10 I feel like just wearing new balances, kind of like all the stereotypes you see online about becoming a dad, like the big white ones,

Speaker 10 the high white socks, kind of how it looked how it looked like today. Yep.
And just, I don't know. I just like, I'd rather just fucking not do it.

Speaker 7 Sometimes you have to remind yourself, like, if I was 18 years old and I knew I could get laid and I knew that 30-year-old me would not take that opportunity, then you get mad at yourself.

Speaker 7 And then you're like, no, I got to take advantage. So you have to like almost trick yourself into wanting it more after you turn 30.
Yeah.

Speaker 10 Or get testosterone shots. Yeah.

Speaker 7 Stuffiner.

Speaker 1 Every single

Speaker 1 Does he really? Oh, yeah. Really? Dude.

Speaker 1 We know when we take Barcelona Sports Advisors if it's a testosterone week or not. Because he's screaming.
He's just so horrid. Have you ever heard of his rule? Yeah.

Speaker 1 The 15, 15, 30. You should have heard of his rule.

Speaker 1 I still haven't recovered from throwing up after I saw him discuss.

Speaker 10 That wasn't the heartburn?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 He does Barcelona Sports Advisors with his kids in the room most of the time. His sons will be sitting there and he'll be talking about eating their mom's ass.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, went you're up.

Speaker 10 While he's close talking you with a hair in his teeth.

Speaker 1 Kind of a tough one to explain, but I cannot for the life of me get around, since, and this is kind of a post-35 one, maybe a post-kids one.

Speaker 1 having to make plans so far in advance.

Speaker 1 It fucking kills me. I got, hey, you want to play golf September 10th? I'm like, what are you talking about, dude? I'm like, call me September 8th.

Speaker 1 But everyone I know, all my friends that are way more organized than me with families, it's like they have every weekend planned out for the next four months. Yes.
And I can't do it.

Speaker 1 And it's like actually creating stress in my life because like if I just did it, but I'm like, that's like me holding on to being young.

Speaker 1 But anyone listening, you'll have a point when you need to plan out everything and it sucks. Do you have the big calendar? We got the shared calendar.

Speaker 1 Dude, when the calendar calendar shows up at your house, this might be relatable just to dads, but when the big calendar shows up to your house, it's a torture chamber.

Speaker 1 But the only good thing about shit gets put on that, like he said, like in 2023.

Speaker 1 It's like, it's basically like, you know, when like Alabama announces they're playing Texas in 2030, that shit goes on the calendar.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we have his sixth grade graduation in nine years. That's crazy, dude.
So

Speaker 1 I do think about the big calendar, though, married guys will know. The good thing is if you get something on the big calendar, you get it.
It stays.

Speaker 10 You get it.

Speaker 1 So it's like, I put that in the big calendar. That's a fact.

Speaker 10 Wayne gets the calendar and just puts golf every day.

Speaker 1 That's the thing.

Speaker 7 It's like you can use the big calendar to your advantage, too.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 7 Because if it's on there, they have to respect what you put on them. You're actually doing a good job as a husband and a father by planning that out that far in advance.

Speaker 1 Basically, so I mean planning our life, planning your life phone in advance. I hate that, and that's an over-30 thing.

Speaker 7 Yes. What about Thanksgiving? How early do you make Thanksgiving plans? Because I made my last ones.

Speaker 1 We do the same thing every year.

Speaker 7 I made my last ones in January, and that was tough. Yeah.
When I had to decide, like, and then I started looking at flights, and Expedia is like, sir, you can't book a flight this far in advance.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. I'm all.
You know, you're old. That's an old, yeah, yeah.
Yeah. That's oh, the big calendar haunts me.
All right.

Speaker 1 This one, I'll have to explain a little too.

Speaker 1 Once you get to 30 and then like 35, you're supposed to like nice things. And it's like, like, you're supposed to like wine, really nice wine and like nice clothes.

Speaker 1 And like, you're supposed to like these things, but there's part of you that's like, I don't, I just want a fucking Coors Light. Like, I don't.
I'm still a piece of shit. Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 Like, I'm still a scumbag. Like, you're not supposed to, like, you can't stay in bad hotels.
Like, there's supposed to be like things that you do that are nicer and your friends like nice things.

Speaker 10 I appreciate you admitting Coors Light's bad.

Speaker 1 Coors Light is

Speaker 1 a fuck up. It is the best.
I'm a Coors I can't. You're suspended.
I'm a Coors. Do you know what I mean? Sussy feel later.

Speaker 7 Sussy. Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 You're supposed to be an adult with some of your tastes and you're like, wait, I don't, like, I like a cheeseburger. I don't need to get like the tuna tartare and shit.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Like ordering a cheeseburger at a nice steak restaurant or a nice restaurant, you look like a scumbag. Like I was like, I want the cheeseburger.

Speaker 1 A girlfriend or a wife wants to try this new restaurant. You look at the menu, like, there's not one thing I want at that restaurant.
Yes. I want to go to the sports bar.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I want to get like mini fucking,

Speaker 1 you know, corn dogs and

Speaker 1 a big pretzel and just watch some games.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I booked this non-alcoholic vegan restaurant, sweetie.

Speaker 1 It's just like,

Speaker 1 yeah, right. I should have thought of the fucking calendar.
Dude, you have to, like, you can't, like, if I was just by myself, no kids, no family or anything, I'd just be a scumbag still.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Like, I'd stay at shitty hotels. I wouldn't care, like, all that stuff.
But you got to like nice things when you grow up.

Speaker 10 The heartburn's making a lot more sense now that you keep talking.

Speaker 1 Hartburn was a great pick.

Speaker 1 What do you put into your last two?

Speaker 7 Suicide's not funny, but it would be very funny if Biz actually killed himself because he had to go to a vegan restaurant or put something in a calendar.

Speaker 1 Not worth it. Not worth it.

Speaker 10 I don't mind vegan food, actually.

Speaker 7 So my next one, I'm going to go.

Speaker 1 Hmm. You got two.

Speaker 1 We got to rush two because they got a shot clock. Okay.

Speaker 7 I'm going to go with finding and caring about new music.

Speaker 1 Good one. a great one.

Speaker 1 I'm struggling with this big time.

Speaker 7 Yeah, so when was the last time you found like a new band?

Speaker 1 Well, music is not a song now. I'm trying to find old music now.
Me too. It's crazy.
I'm like, my Spotify is just all songs from the 70s and 80s.

Speaker 7 Mine, like the latest I go, I think I stopped really appreciating brand new music. I think the year was like 2011.

Speaker 1 It's all junk now.

Speaker 7 Anything past 2011, it's like, yeah, I'll listen to it occasionally and I'll recognize the song, but then I'm like, no, play me some from the 90s.

Speaker 1 Like, go back.

Speaker 1 I love that pick. That's a good one.

Speaker 10 The key is finding a few friends that are DJs or have great Spotify lists and just

Speaker 10 have them send you over the lists and you just kind of go through it and listen. And it's kind of fun because it's random and you don't have to do any of the work to find it.

Speaker 7 It's kind of like the same thing of talking about an 18-year-old that's coming to the NBA, though. Like, I'd feel weird going to a concert of people that were all like 21 years old.

Speaker 7 I feel like a real creep out there.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, that's a good one.
That's a very good one.

Speaker 1 My last one:

Speaker 7 I'm gonna go just dressing.

Speaker 7 Just dressing yourself in general.

Speaker 7 This might be more personal to me because I have like what I call accidental six-year-old days where I get into the office and I look at myself in the mirror for the first time.

Speaker 7 I'm like, I'm fucking dressed like a six-year-old again. Yeah, and it looks weirder as you get older.
So maybe it's just like me not updating my dress style. Whatsoever.
What's that, Hank?

Speaker 7 What's that fucking smirk?

Speaker 1 No, it's like, it's like.

Speaker 7 No, no, Hank has a smirk. What is it?

Speaker 1 I mean, like, he looks great right now. He looks like a six-year-old or something.

Speaker 8 You were explaining it well. Yeah.
But it's not like that changed when you got over 30.

Speaker 7 But it looks worse on me now that I'm old.

Speaker 1 No, now when people find out your age, like, that's how you're dressed? Exactly. You were 27.
At least maybe that's cool.

Speaker 7 Yeah. So it's like a personal thing.
It's like not updating your dressing style whatsoever to appear like an adult.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I feel you, buddy.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's a Rudy outfit.

Speaker 7 There's definitely some.

Speaker 7 That's Rudy Junda. He would wear that exact outfit that you're wearing right now.
He'd look much better in it.

Speaker 8 I'm envious of your dress style. Like, I wish I could dress the way you do.

Speaker 7 Who are you talking to about that?

Speaker 1 Me? You wish you couldn't stay. You not feel like

Speaker 1 that.

Speaker 1 He's exclusively wearing shit. You say not feel clothes.

Speaker 1 It's going to be paparazzi following you around now.

Speaker 10 He wishes he could not feel shame.

Speaker 7 You wish that you could wear jeans.

Speaker 8 Like, I don't think you've spent money on clothes since I've met you.

Speaker 7 Yeah, that's a fact.

Speaker 1 I know. And

Speaker 1 I'm envious of that.

Speaker 7 The game I like to play is what did I buy that I'm wearing?

Speaker 7 I think

Speaker 7 I bought these socks.

Speaker 1 There we go.

Speaker 7 Huge. I always buy, that's my treat for myself.

Speaker 1 What is your socks? Yes, I buy these. Stocking stuffer.
Yes.

Speaker 1 All right, my last pick.

Speaker 1 With the gold coins. Chaka gold coins.

Speaker 1 My last pick is going to be,

Speaker 1 I watch everything in subtitles now. And

Speaker 1 I also like have found my, so this is like a combo of like, like just sound. I have, it happened actually the first time we went to Army, Navy last year, and we had like a barstool sportsbook event.

Speaker 1 And I had to ask the DJ to turn the music down a little bit because I couldn't hear people talk. Because like I was trying to have a conversation.
I was like, like, this is just too loud.

Speaker 1 So just the sound and like subtitles, like all that shit changes.

Speaker 1 And you're like, yeah, this music, like having to actually say, can you turn that down a little is such a demoralizing moment, but you have to like do it because you can't hear anything.

Speaker 1 And it's bothering you how loud it is. So that's.

Speaker 7 You know what the worst is? Loud bars. Yep.

Speaker 1 I fucking hate loud bars. Yeah.

Speaker 7 And it's, I think I've always like not, I've never really loved being in loud bar, but it's such a bigger inconvenience now that I'm older. And I know that I'm not a loud talker, anyway.

Speaker 10 Like, you're not stepping foot inside a club.

Speaker 1 If I, no, fuck no.

Speaker 7 I went, actually, I went into a club like a month ago, Hank, right?

Speaker 7 Went to a club a month ago. I was like, what do I do now?

Speaker 1 Oh, I just

Speaker 10 put your earplugs in.

Speaker 7 I stand next to this couch.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and like, wait for the bottle to go.

Speaker 10 Then you pay 10 grand to stand there for the real estate.

Speaker 7 Yeah, it's like, okay, I'm going to hang out by this very nice-looking couch for an hour.

Speaker 1 Can't even talk to anyone.

Speaker 1 Can't do it. Awful.
But you do get the sparklers. That's true.
Yes. All right.
Witt, your your last one. Oh, this is tough when you come to the end.

Speaker 1 I would say, like, patience in lines, if that kind of makes sense. Like, when I'm standing around now, I don't know.
Like, when I was younger, I don't know. I just kind of like waited there.

Speaker 1 Now, if I'm at like Starbucks or something, it's taking forever. I just notice I'm way more.
Maybe it's having kids.

Speaker 10 You just lose your patience. Yep.

Speaker 1 And I feel like you get it back, like maybe 50s and 60s when you got nothing to do. As of right now, like my patience level is horrific.
I skip, I'll skip.

Speaker 1 If I I see a line, I'll just be like, nope, we're not going there. Yeah, it's like, yeah, it's like, I just, I just, I am always somewhat in a rush, I feel like, and it drives me crazy.

Speaker 7 Yep. You know what the worst line is? If you've already received whatever service that you're paying for, and then you have to wait in line to pay for it.

Speaker 1 Yep. It's like, I've already got it.
I'm leaving.

Speaker 7 But now I have to wait in line to give you my money.

Speaker 1 Let me just hand you some money. Yeah.
And just, I won't, I won't take chance. Let me wait to pay for it.

Speaker 10 I mean, you guys kind of collectively took my last one, which is going to be your irrigab goes up.

Speaker 1 i think that's fair yeah in general so now i got to think of another no i mean you can do that one if you can think of other

Speaker 10 you know patience is different i i would say that my early days like you know in your 20s you always want to be around your buddies and you're you're okay we took and we talked about the friend things as well like where i really really like you i guess you enjoy your your alone time yeah so therefore you aren't as irritable but i guess that wouldn't be something that you hate when you turn 30 right so yeah yeah taking care of your body maybe a little is an extra one like just like you're like losing weight.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like impossible. I'm gonna go to the gym.
No, you're not. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like just trying, yeah, just being like, oh, well, I can put together a few good days in a row, but like, it's not gonna, it's not gonna stay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, losing weight. How did I not do that one? I can't lose weight.
I actually, someone, I was on the

Speaker 1 elevator with Alex Bennett today, and she was like, oh, you've been playing basketball. Like, are you trying to get in summer season?

Speaker 1 And I was like, no, listen, there's only two seasons in my life now. It's football season when I gain 20 pounds, and then off season when I lose 10.

Speaker 1 So I'm just going two steps back, one step forward until I fall off backwards off a clock. So in the 2035 season, you're going to be forced to go.
Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 It's just like, that's pretty much how it always works.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 7 For me, I think that there's a limit to my body. I think once I hit 200, I think then it's all over.
If I'm below 200, what are you at now? I can always, shit, I don't probably like 175.

Speaker 1 So if you hit 200, it's basically.

Speaker 7 I came so close last summer after we did Grit Week, and we went to that wing place, Wing Nuts. Yep.
And I fucking absolutely destroyed these wings there. I got home.
I weighed myself.

Speaker 7 I think I was 195 pounds.

Speaker 7 And I know that once I hit 200, it's never going below 200. It's just going to be about, I'm just like throwing up my hands and being like, okay, I'm going to be fat from now on.

Speaker 1 That was my 220. And once I hit 220, it was 240 the next day, and it was like, you're never going below.

Speaker 7 I think everyone has that number in their mind, though, that when they see it, it's like, okay, this is over. Yep.

Speaker 1 we have an interview right now yeah let's go bernie nichols yeah let's so we'll we'll what we'll do is wrap up this was awesome thank you guys we love you guys

Speaker 1 who won well we'll we'll put it to a vote on monday and then we'll have hank

Speaker 1 say good job we'll have hank say his list uh after you know during the show on monday so thank you guys we love you all right i love you guys love you too love you guys

Speaker 7 Man, I'll tell you what.

Speaker 9 When you're hungry out there, you start acting like a rookie quarterback in his first game, making bad decisions, messing up the basics, being all out of sorts. That's where Snickers comes in, man.

Speaker 9 That thing is packed. Roasted peanuts, nugget, caramel, milk chocolate.
It's like the MVP of candy bars.

Speaker 9 And when you bite into it, boom, it sorts you out, gets your head back in the game of life, satisfying your hunger. Remember this.
Snickers handles your hunger so you can handle everything else.

Speaker 9 Snickers satisfies, man. That's a winning play.

Speaker 1 All right, let's wrap up. Hank's got his list from the Mount Rushmore.
Great Mount Rushmore, by the way. Keep sending us Mount Rushmore ideas.

Speaker 1 We have a couple guests coming up that we're going to do Mount Rushmore with, including Kate, our favorite Marine.

Speaker 1 We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of America on Wednesday. Get excited for that.
And Max Verstappen and Sergio Perez coming on Wednesday. I know people have wanted that, so apologies for the delay.

Speaker 8 I had packed bars.

Speaker 7 Yep.

Speaker 1 That's actually a very, very good one that we should have said because there's definitely a point that you reach where it's like standing for long periods of time and getting bumped into your tolerance for it just diminishes to zero.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I remember when that moment clicked for me. You guys probably had a similar experience at some point, but on

Speaker 7 New Year's Eve one year, and I had to pay like a hundred bucks or whatever to get a ticket, and then you have to wait in line about 40 minutes to get each drink.

Speaker 7 At that point, I was like, okay, I'm done with crowded bars.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 7 Give me a hole in the wall where I can sit at the bar, talk to the bartender.

Speaker 1 That's perfect. It's actually one of my, I think, when we did the Mount Rushmore's

Speaker 1 hidden skills, I think one of mine was always finding

Speaker 1 a table or seats because I just

Speaker 1 lock in because it's basically life or death. When I walk into a busy restaurant or bar, it's life or death.
If I can't find a seat within the first 10 minutes, I'm dead. I'm a dead person.

Speaker 1 Popping the top?

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, that's just a wait joke.

Speaker 7 Are you talking about tarps off for the boys?

Speaker 1 Are you talking about convertibility? Actually, getting your Jeep.

Speaker 8 No, I'm talking about taking your shirt off. Yeah.
Like, even if, I mean, I feel like some people stay in shape after 30, but I feel like a lot of people are in shape with the burger.

Speaker 1 Never trust

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 7 Never trust a guy over 30 with a six-pack. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So it's like that. So when's yours coming?

Speaker 1 Summer. I'm still 29.

Speaker 7 This is the last summer you can have one without being weird.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 7 And also, I think that it gets cool again to take your shirt off over the age of 40.

Speaker 1 Well, that's when you start doing,

Speaker 1 you know, testosterone and HGH, and everyone's like, whoa, we see what's going on here.

Speaker 7 Yeah, or if you just get fat, then it's cool over the age of 40.

Speaker 1 I like it that we now know every guy who's super ripped over the age of 50. It's like, yep, cheater.
Cheater.

Speaker 8 And then

Speaker 8 my last two are kind of the same, or I guess similar, but keeping up with the lingo and talking to people.

Speaker 1 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's cap.
No, it's not. It's for real.

Speaker 7 Oh, God.

Speaker 8 And just talking to people significantly younger than you and realizing you're old. Yeah.

Speaker 8 Like you think you're talking to someone that's like might be your age or whatever, and then they're like, I'm 21.

Speaker 1 I had that moment today when I was at Pride Parade. Did I mention I went and did Pride Parade, Ally? No big deal.

Speaker 1 But in the office, it was like all 23-year-olds, and I was in the mix, and I had nothing to talk about. Like nothing, because everyone's talking about the weekend and everything.

Speaker 1 And I was just like, I don't know what to do. So, yeah, you're absolutely right.
Those moments really suck.

Speaker 7 It's also when you see a player that gets drafted and their birthday is like 2003. Yeah, that was awesome.

Speaker 1 He's winning their list.

Speaker 7 That was on your list? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I forgot.

Speaker 1 Well, I can't believe we didn't do losing weight. That was very stupid.
That was a big mess.

Speaker 7 Yeah, it does. Yeah, it gets more difficult for sure.

Speaker 1 Absolutely more difficult where it's like, oh, yeah, my metabolism,

Speaker 1 I can't just be like, oh, I'm going to eat a salad for four days in a row and lose 10 pounds. That doesn't happen anymore.
Getting up.

Speaker 1 Standing up.

Speaker 7 Standing up. Yeah.
Standing up is a tough one.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Standing up.
Getting up from seats. Just changing positions.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 Moving your body from like either laying down to sitting up, sitting up to standing up, or standing up to sitting down. Yeah.
All very difficult to do.

Speaker 1 I have to constantly be getting up at home with kids, and it's just, that's probably the hardest part of life now, is constantly getting up. That first thing.

Speaker 1 Because Because you know when you get home and you sit down, you're like, I'm going to sit down for an hour. Like, I'm just going to sit.
This is going to be nice.

Speaker 1 After, you know, long, hard day in the blogging minds, now, no sitting for me. Nope.
I'm always on the go.

Speaker 11 Sometimes you walk in and you stare at the couch and you're like, you know, if you sit down, it's over.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 11 Yeah. Like, you're not getting up.

Speaker 1 My son makes

Speaker 1 four to play with him. And I'm just like, dude, why can't I just sit on the couch?

Speaker 1 Sacrifices I make. What are you going to do?

Speaker 7 Oh, your bowels get bad.

Speaker 1 Yeah, your bowels bad. For a lot of us.
Yeah.

Speaker 11 That's true.

Speaker 11 I eat four salads in a row.

Speaker 1 Look what happens to me.

Speaker 7 I think you eat too many salads. I think that's your problem.

Speaker 1 Your body is

Speaker 1 rebelling.

Speaker 1 Yeah, your body's weak.

Speaker 1 No, your body's weak.

Speaker 7 You got to start putting some real dog shit meals in there. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, you wouldn't get fat. Come on.
Cake more shit. No, they said it was cake because everyone loved him.
Like,

Speaker 1 that's why they're talking everyone loves cake. Yeah, that's why they called him that.
Not because he was fat. Don't say that, Hank.
I'll take their word for it.

Speaker 11 I'll ask some of them. I'll repoll them.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Do a repoll? Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right, let's do numbers. One draft.

Speaker 7 Give me a 77.

Speaker 1 What's the gayest number? Six. I was at Pride Parade today, so I'm just kind of in the mood.

Speaker 7 What's the gayest number?

Speaker 1 That's a good question.

Speaker 1 Three. Ask Joey and Pat that.
Right? Three.

Speaker 1 Three? Is it? I don't know. I just picked a number.
All right. I'll do

Speaker 1 2031.

Speaker 1 96.

Speaker 1 Great, great tight show, boys.

Speaker 7 Real tight.

Speaker 7 Almost too tight.

Speaker 1 Looks like it's going to be 89.

Speaker 1 That's 89. Fifth time.
Fifth time. Who's in the lead?

Speaker 11 52 at nine time.

Speaker 1 Whoa, that's insane.

Speaker 7 And Hank, with how many?

Speaker 1 Yes, just going to say this every show.

Speaker 7 No, I forget.

Speaker 1 Like, I like it very, it makes you laugh every show.

Speaker 7 I just forgot about the big cat draft thing where he took you know, players with their birthdays like 2003. I just, I'm a forgetful guy, anyways.
Parrots will selflessly help each other out.

Speaker 7 They're the only bird that does that.

Speaker 8 Wow, love you guys.

Speaker 8 Talking away,

Speaker 8 though, I don't know what to say I'd say

Speaker 8 anyway

Speaker 8 Today is a matter of day to find you Shy it away

Speaker 1 Though I've been coming for your love of King Shy it away

Speaker 1 Though I've been coming for your love of King

Speaker 1 Take on me Take

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 on me.

Speaker 1 I'll be

Speaker 1 gold.

Speaker 1 Take on me. I'll be

Speaker 1 gone.

Speaker 1 Some needless to say.

Speaker 1 Hopes and

Speaker 1 spumpy sunlit wait.

Speaker 1 Slowly learning to find things okay.

Speaker 1 Say unto me.

Speaker 1 At least for better to be safe, but suddenly

Speaker 1 come.

Speaker 1 Drink on the day.

Speaker 1 of the old

Speaker 1 love.

Speaker 1 Get out of the

Speaker 1 drink.

Speaker 1 Things I could say

Speaker 1 everyone. Just play that

Speaker 1 real way.

Speaker 1 You are the things I've got to do in love.

Speaker 1 Shine on you.

Speaker 1 All coming for you when you light.

Speaker 1 Take

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 Take on me.

Speaker 1 Take on me.

Speaker 1 Take on me. I'll

Speaker 1 of the

Speaker 1 earth

Speaker 1 Take on me