US Open Champ Matthew Fitzpatrick, NBA Draft And Mt Rushmore With Joey And Pat From Out And About

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have the NBA Draft, Matthew Fitzpatrick, a Mount Rushmore that I think is one of the funniest Mount Rushmores he's ever done with our good friends Joey and Pat from the Out and about podcast, the Mount Rushmore of straight things that are low key gay. We have Goodell.
We have Kyrie. We have Stanley cup finals.
It is a huge show, like a sneaky, huge show for a June show. And then we have fire fest to wrap it all up.
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Barstool Golf time app now. No place to hang out or washin' And then I can't blame all on the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue It's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports Welcome to part of my take presented by Visible Go to visible.com slash pod get unlimited single line wireless for as low as $25 a month.
Today is Friday, June 24th. You ready for this BFT? A little little little hezy.
Hey, the Detroit Pistons are back. They are.
I like what they're that pick. Hey, they're building something up in the North, Big Cat.
Ah. They're putting something together.
So, NBA draft, Paolo gets picked one. We have to talk about what Woj did, the insider trading that he did.
Crazy. And we can talk about whatever pick we want to do.
But the main takeaway, I know this sounds crazy to say, but think Jaden Ivey falling to five because Keegan Murray goes four to the Kings. Jaden Ivey and Cade Cunningham, they're building.
You fuck with that because let's build. Dude, it's going to be something in a couple of years.
I like it. Listen, I don't know shit about basketball, but those are two good players that they got.
Also, Paulo Banqueiro, he went first overall. Credit to Coach K for going out on a high note right there.
He's I can never like really tell with with some of these players like you go to a team like Orlando that's just dog shit. To me, they're like probably five years away from being any good.
So I don't know when should when is an appropriate time to do a redraft of players i feel like it's after like three years or four years i'd like to do one right now okay redrafting i love i actually think that the thunder nailed it i think that check goes to just because a guy named chet in oklahoma city that plays you chet chet is going to be a be a perfect fit in Oklahoma City, not from even a basketball standpoint, just from a life standpoint. From a Chet standpoint.
I was a little upset that his father didn't have the video camera. Felt like a great moment for him there.
He should have had the video camera, but he did have – Chet's dad is like – I'd love to actually have chet's dad on the show he had like a ponytail um looking like a like a maybe a silicon valley guy who made billions in like the 70s and just hasn't changed his look i love that guy um jabari going to the rockets another great like what draft talk i love draft talk right after we draft because everything's a good pick, right? Right now. Well, except for whatever the Knicks are doing.
That's all I truly understand. The best part of draft night by far is just Stephen A.
Smith getting more and more progressively despondent about the Knicks. I just want, like, a solo cam on Stephen A.
Smith, like, hanging his head further and further down Well, the Kings, the Kings. Yeah.
So the Kings taking Keegan Murray was like, everyone thought it was going to be Jaden Ivy for they went. I like Keegan Murray.
I think he was really good at Iowa, but the Kings are just the Kings and they keep doing Kings stuff. Well, going off that stat with the Kings.
So every single year, yes, the player, the team after the Kings pick drafts an all-star. It's a trend.
They had to keep up with that this year. And Detroit was – you knew that Detroit was going to get a great player even before the draft started.
Yeah, that's why Jaden Ivey going to Detroit. The Pistons are back.
Also, a great part of the draft was Perk just just trying to pronounce anyone's name. One of the greatest ones when he compared, I can't remember who he compared him to, or who he was comparing, but it was to OJ Ananubi.
I probably fucked that up, Jake. You can give me that, but he called him OJ Ananubi.
So like a combo of Ananubi and O og what can you give us a full pronunciation there jake i'm double checking right now ananobi og ananobi from indiana yeah but perk just he's leaning into it he doesn't fucking care he's just like i'm just gonna go all the way into this and i'm just gonna mispronounce remember last year when he moses moody like he got stuck in a time warp trying to get that name out. I like I perk makes me laugh.
Like I don't I know some people I saw some people being like it's disrespectful. He can't get the names right.
I want to be entertained. There's only so much you can say about every pick being like, this is a great fit.
This is a great pick. This guy has length.
This guy can do everything. He can play D.
He can he can shoot th threes just give me someone mispronouncing every name and i'll be i'll laugh it's it's fine if the guy's like really southern like kendrick perkins is then you can mispronounce anything and it's funny if it's like a northern accent mispronouncing stuff it's like whoa that's unprofessional but when it's perk it's like that's kind of what you expect that from perk and then and then you expect him to say carry the hell on afterwards. Exactly, exactly.
So one of the big questions I had about this draft is Woj. So he's insider trading, right? He just completely insider traded this entire draft.
So if you missed it, Woj tweeted at 840 this morning saying that Jabari was going to be the first pick, I believe. And basically everyone, Paolo Bancaro went from minus 200 to plus 300 to be the first pick.
And then obviously Paolo becomes the first pick and Woj, I assume, just cashes in on the other side. I mean, you're allowed to do that.
There's no law against it right now. So like as an information broker, so Woj has opportunities, right? Woj could go work for a gambling company if you wanted to, and they get all the information first, or Woj could take less money, stay at ESPN and then profit like a motherfucker based off all the inside information that he's getting and like little frosting, little icing on top of the cake that way.
And I think that's what we'll just doing. And, and as far as I understand, I'm not a finance guy.
Our finance guy is suspended from the podcast right now, but I feel like that's completely legal. Yeah.
I mean, it is, but it still pisses me off. I didn't lose any money.
Like I didn't bet it, but if I had, I would have been, I would have been opening up a lawsuit that, you know, class action lawsuit, doing one of those commercials that comes on late at night being like, were you harmed by Woj's tweet for the 2022 draft? Because we're going to sue and we're all going to get like $16 back. Permission to go off real quick? Yeah.
I kind of fucking hate the NBA draft. Why? I hate the little details behind it.
I hate how it's like, I like the picks. I like when, when teams are making picks, the guys go up, they put their hats on.
I don't like that sometimes they make them wear the hat of the team that drafted them, even when they get traded, like immediately. I don't like that part, but I like, you know, I like the theory of players advancing to the NBA, seeing what teams are getting, what players.
But the NBA has convinced sports fans to do algebraic equations to understand what the fuck is going on. You have to be kind of nuts to understand it.
It's like the Hornets shed a two-way expiring contract to the Thunder via the Trailblazers in exchange for the protected rights of the Knicks' second rounder from the first round play play in tournament victory. There's too many rules.
They make people like have to follow these little breadcrumbs and know all the shit about the contracts to understand exactly what's going on in these NBA draft day trades. And it pisses me off.
Well, it's, I mean, it's, it's similar in the NFL where the salary cap just isn't real. So it's like, whatever's reported, just figure it the next day.
The reason why I'm not huge on the NBA draft is, let's be honest, every NBA draft, what is there? Maybe four guys who are going to make an all-star team, five guys that are going to make an all-star team. There's another 10 guys that are going to be decent players, some role players, but like, it's not, you know, there's a lot of, the majority of the guys in these, in the two rounds, the NBA draft are not going to be in the NBA in three years.
I think you're wrong. I don't think that it is like the NFL draft.
I think there's way more rules in it. There's way more salary cap.
There's way more rules though, about like conditional things that have to happen and picks that they've acquired via some other teams from another thing.

It's just it's too much like protected picks and stuff.

Yeah, all that.

And the way that they get moved around, like right after players are drafted, that part pisses me off.

You know what?

I think I think your gripe is really that Oklahoma City has so many picks that like it just confuses everything that and like everything that happens between between the nets and the Celtics, we still haven't figured out who won that trade yet. Yeah.
That's still some picks left, but yeah, I mean the, the thunder, like, so the Knicks people are mad at the Knicks, right? Knicks fans are very upset. I believe they're upset because it looks like they got rid from my understanding, at least I don't know.
It's been a while since they've taken calculus, but it looks like they're pissed off because they got rid of kimball walker essentially his contract they didn't want to have his contract on the books so that now they can go pursue uh what's his name from the mavericks i forget who they're looking at from the mavericks no a free agent a free agent so um yeah luca that would be a good trade no probably jalen brunson i think is a free agent yeah jalen brunson that's this guy so they are like getting rid of money so that they can go after this guy that they think that the knicks think is going to be good but everybody's like what the fuck why are we doing this we wanted an actual like impact player right now so right next fan but they benched at the end of the year last year and you know just always going to be mad about something and this is the we're mad about this at the night for kn next fans yeah and i you know i i do think there's a frustration anytime you have a pick and then you trade out of the pick and you're like i want the new shiny thing we want to talk about yeah johnny davis to the wizards yeah buddy unite us big cat doing the fucking fist grab our handshake meme so um i want to give a little behind the scenes because i have some insight into the johnny davis pick you might recall from uh wednesday's part of my tech i told you if he gets to 10 the wizards are taking him so what happened was memorial day weekend i was down in dc right i went to the old glory rugby game the mlr game in dc i got introduced to john thompson the third former georgetown coach son of big John Thompson. And he was there.
He's working with the Wizards now in player development. I was probably like seven to 10 Coors Lights deep at the moment.
And so I got introduced to him and I said, John, I got two words for you. Johnny Davis.
That's the first thing I told him. And then he looked at me, he goes, what do you mean, Johnny Davis?is i was like i think he's a good defender and he can score at the basket and he looked at me and

he goes i swear to god he goes you sound like you really know your basketball and i was like i do

i do i know a shitload about basketball he's like he's not going to be there at 10 i was like well

if he is there you got to take me he's like we plan on it we intend to so i in this in this

scenario i might be the homeless guy that told the cleveland browns to draft johnny manzel

All right. got to take him he's like we plan on it we intend to so i in this in this scenario i might be the homeless guy that told the cleveland browns to draft johnny manziel yeah well he's so so you basically were like when he's like you don't know it sounds like you know your basketball you should have been like i went to one college basketball game this year yeah it was johnny davis it was johnny davis well i mean to be fair i have been watching johnny davis for a couple years mostly because you have the Wisconsin games on all the time.
And I have liked Johnny Davis a lot.

So. Johnny Davis.
Well, I mean, to be fair, I have been watching Johnny Davis for a couple of years, mostly because you have the Wisconsin games on all the time. And I have liked Johnny Davis a lot.
So as somebody who's historically apathetic about the Wizards, this is as close as they've come in like the last seven years to making me care about the team. Johnny Davis.
You know, I'm going to be rooting for him. So I love it.
I love it. And then the Bulls took a dog.
That's all I care about. The bulls took a dog, Dale and Terry from, from the, uh, uh, Arizona wildcats.
And I just like all the tweets are him just talking about how, if they do a redraft, it's going to like in 10 years, it's going to be different and, and shit like that. Just quotes.
They're just dogging them. He said the reason he said my redraft number three.
Yeah. He said his reason for coming out after his sophomore year, I haven't played basketball since I was two to be a college player.
Dog. Dog.
Dog. Got that dog in him.
He's got that dog in him. And I don't know.
He's just going to play some defense, be a wing. As KD said, wings rule the league.
We just need wings. Just get guys between 6'6 and 6'9 and hope that it works out eventually.
Also, our good friend Tom Franelli, his player comp for Dale and Terry was Draymond Green without a podcast. So he won't be distracted.
That's good, I guess. Yeah.
I don't know, four rings? Are you one Draymond Green away from a ring? I'd say so. I'd say that's just the piece.
What if the Bull it what if the bulls built the team out of only draymond greens i would watch that game actually that'd be awesome yeah and they would probably have they'd probably take number one

spot away from us in podcasting they would probably just collapse the bulls because they

want to have a team because everybody would be suspended yes that's true just they would hate

each other draymond green would actually hate playing on a team with himself yeah well when

he sees dale and terry it's gonna be like two dogs barking in the uh in the window at each other

Thank you. They would hate each other.
Draymond Green would actually hate playing on a team with himself. Yeah.
Well, when he sees Dale and Terry,

it's going to be like two dogs barking in the window at each other.

It'd be a great podcast, though.

As our college basketball expert,

any thoughts? Any nuggets

you want to drop on us?

All the Duke guys are going to be a bust. They can't

win when it matters most because

they lose when

all the pressure's on them. Wait, but

hold on, Jake. Hold on.
How many

Duke guys went in the first round? Three or four?

Four. Four.

And I think the first round's still going on.

And UNC must have had, what, like four or five

guys go in the first round?

They're all going to exercise another

year and try to run it back.

They're going to exercise another year.

They're going to go lose again and now win the national championship that's not so duke duke sounds like it's just as far as hicks so they should have they should have won it all and see yeah and they should have beaten unc in their last home game ever in front of coach k and also because he's never going to go to cameron ever again and also the final four game they played against their rival unc did they win that game right you would think that and they were the number one overall seeds they were favored to win by seed but i guess maybe they were checked out because they wanted to go to the nba and they want to win it for their coach so i don't know where the blame goes there but no they did not win it all they did lose in the final four they did send out their Hall of Fame coach out with a loss.

Jake, you know what's crazy is that the New Zealand Breakers had more first-round picks than Syracuse.

Yes, they did, but the Boeheims, they're in New York City.

They went to John's at Bleeker today, so who's the real winner?

I'd say the New Zealand Breakers.

I'd say we are.

I don't know.

As governors.

Did you guys see the wild thing? I won't forget the wild thing this time. Jaden Ivey's mom played in WNBA.
There was a picture I tweeted of him as a baby and her in the WNBA jersey. And the reverse is them hugging in the green room.
And it's wild because now he's in the nba she was in the wmba that is wild that's wild oh that is wild nikola jovich just when he just went to the heat culture oh this is this kicks ass the team that he played for mega moz played for Mega Mozart. What a cool name for a team.

By the way, Dale and Terry just tweeted Chicago.

What was good with a bunch of O's and D's and then use the demon time emoji.

So that's a dog.

Oh, also is Johnny Davis a dog.

Johnny Davis is a dog.

We got that.

We got that dog in us.

For sure.

He never smiles. His Johnny Davis scouting report is he literally never smiles good don't smile until you win a championship that's your reward and even that not until your dynasty how great would it be if the wizards like late in the second round just took brad davison it'll be awesome that'd be so sick just turn into baby badgers baby that's just out of nowhere that would be would be incredible.
Can you imagine just... So the Wizards is just an objectively dog shit name for a team.
Can you imagine them winning an NBA championship and it's like congratulations to the Wizards? Yeah. It's just...
You'll storm the Capitol. One center.
That's good. Good job, Jake.
Let's keep the politics. Jake is on fire.
Damn. One more thing.
Wait, wait. You can't make a bad joke and be like, I knew that you'd like that one.
Well, that plays. Yeah, that does play.
I never make bad jokes. I just make good jokes.
You guys don't get. Yeah.
Half the,

half the area believes that.

Right.

Nuggets fans are about to,

they're about to learn that Christian Brown is not brawn.

And they're going to be like,

what the heck?

Cause they,

we should,

we should throw out the bonk on our friend,

Steven Shea,

who's very horny for Christian Brown's mother, which I feel like that's a relic of, like, Internet 1.0 when we're just like, damn, this mom is really hot. I guess it still plays.
I mean, you know, it is the NBA draft. You kind of lose interest after the first, like, five picks.
So what else are you going to do besides ogle it, like, family members of the draftees? It goes back of like the blogs that would be written the day after the draft who really won the draft christian bronze mom fly joe by the way how about palo's suit oh it's nice all purple all purple a lot of nice suits today a lot of nice haircuts today really cool haircuts all around yes i don't

know what else what else we have in the draft i mean it was top goal arena not center so the joke doesn't even apply jake jake you're you were feeling hot after the duke joke you went for it you shot your shot yeah i'm trying to look any other draft picks that we should talk about? Shaden Sharp. I'll tell you what.
If you're a Blazers fan, Shaden Sharp, I actually love taking a guy like that just to be like, he could be the greatest player of all time. He didn't play college basketball, but any guy who everyone's like, the ceiling is incredible.
Why not? You at least get a year to think that he might be that guy. Yeah.
Jalen Duran, he got traded. Like Woj and Shams kept going back to back saying he was going to like a different team.
Then he would go to a different team after that. And it all happened right after they played the clip of him saying how much he loved friends.
So I tend to believe that every GM saw that and was like, fuck, get this guy out of here. This guy sucks.
And then another GM would find out that, oh man, I got a friends lover on my team. Got to trade him.
I don't like three times within the span of five minutes. It's got to be the highest of Benedict has ever been drafted.
Ooh, can we get a quick fact check? Also was Arnold conscripted or was he volunteer? I don't know. That was a draft joke about Benedict Arnold.
I was trying to one-up Jake. You did.
You did. Because Jake's joke was incorrect.
Yeah. We also were the closest.
We were very close. I heard Rosillo mentioned this on his podcast.
That was a good one we almost oh yeah i i love i love the 15 second hank delayed joke understands those are the best we almost broke the streak chet holmgren was very close to going one he would have been the first white american since 1977 drafted one overall in the nba draft is that Larry? Maybe next year, guys. No, there's a guy named Kent Benson.
Maybe next year. Old KB.
Yeah. Yeah.
Literally KB, no swag. Who could forget? Yeah.
Yeah. Old KB, Kent Benson.
So we were close. We will reach that mountaintop.
Yeah, we are when it comes to NBA draft 1-1-1 we are a minority. So maybe next year.
1977 is crazy though. Wait, no, that French guy is going first overall next year, right? Yeah.
So, but 2024. That's our year.
You yeah so but uh good NBA draft 2024 that's our year you think so yeah yeah I think so call your shot I'm gonna say wait let me look through the McDonald's all Americans right now say in even 50 years give me 2027 if you could actually bet on it what do you think the over under amount of years would be I think it's probably like over under 30 the next 31 and a half years yeah a billion i don't know it's yeah mcdonald's all americans yeah give us a quick breakdown jake plug your plug lacrosse this weekend saturday night right yeah saturday six and 8 45 eastern time espn plus uh if you're around would for you to tune in. Should be a lot of fun.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. If you don't tune in, you're a fucking scumbag and I want you dead.
Jake's going to show off his crotch in the live broadcast and you're all dead if you don't watch it. There we go.
Should be exciting. I think we're having a Barstool Sportsbook boost on the games as well.
All right, I've got our guy. The Marsh? Is it going to be called the Marsh? I think it's still the Ray Bull.
I mean, it's up to change probably. Okay, so the guy that's going to break the streak, I'm calling my shot right now, he's going to go to Kansas, and his name's Grady Dick.
I just sent it to the group chat. Look at the official picture of this guy.
There's no better shooter in this class of McDonald's All-Americans than Grady Dick. What year is the nice season? McDonald's All-American this year? Yeah.
Okay. I like that.
Grady Dick. I'll give you a backup.
Okay. It's not real.
We got from Maine. Okay.
Real. Let's not get carried away with the weather.
Class of 2025, Cooper Flagg with two Gs. He's the third ranked overall high school player right now.
Five star, six, seven kid from Maine. There we go.
We gave you good options there, folks. Oh, Cruz.
It's also funny because none of these high school players have pictures, and then I saw Cooper. I was like, okay.
That's our guy. Yeah, but the second round doesn't matter at all in the NBA draft, right? No, no.
Ever? When was the last time there was a good second player? Oh, it's flag with two G's flag with two g's that's what i said yeah i mean there's been some good players but like it's it's a very very low percentage no there's definitely been some very good players in the second round it's just it's just yeah there's a shitload of players that just are they don't even make the team because it's not guaranteed contracts in the second big case big case a rito chris middleton was a second rounder jimmy or no jimmy was not yeah nicole yeah the mvp is a second rounder i forgot about the case rito yeah yeah the case rito i'm trying to think jalen brunson who we talked about was a second rounder. Marcus all.
Can I just plug real quick for Hank Taco Bell? I had the crunch wrap breakfast thing the other day. Thank you.
Holy shit. That is good.
You never had that before? No. First time or over here.
And my God, my life has changed forever. Forever.
It is. It's my one,one fast food breakfast item across the map.

Actually, this is how dated it was.

I had one of my most popular

vines was me vining

at breakfast contract when it first came out.

Hell yes. And do numbers?

Compared to my other

vines, yes.

What do you guys think about

Jabari Smith's fit

in Houston?

I don't know. It seems like there's a very active roster they got going on over there.
I think it's solid fit. Solid.
Houston's basketball sound. I'd say he's an A-plus on talent, A-minus on fit.
Why? I had the other way around. I think he's more of a catch-and-shoot guy.
If he can add the shot creation into his repertoire, I really think that he's going to be a plus as a player and still an a plus as a fit. Yes.
All right. Let's kick it to ourselves.
We have an unbelievable show. Rest of the show, Matthew Fitzpatrick in studio guys.
Fire fest. We have a Mount Rushmore that I think is one of our funniest ones ever.
It's straight things that are sneaky gay with joey and pat and then we're also talking some stanley cup final now a word from our sponsor better help life can be overwhelming and many people are burned out without even knowing it symptoms can include lack of motivation irritability fatigue and more sometimes i feel burnt out you're just tired You feel emotionally drained. Well, guess what? BetterHelp is there to help you feel better.
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Okay, let's talk some other sports. Stanley Cup Final, we had another overtime.
We had the Cadre goal that was the most anti-climactic goal because it was on the road. It reminded me right away of the Patrick Kane goal where it gets stuck up in the net.
Only a couple people realized it went in. And the avalanche, the best words in all sports, the cup is in the building.
Yeah, it's coming home. The cup is in the building.
I'm pretty excited for my avalanche bet. I'm feeling comfortable about it because this does feel like a game seven now.
Yeah. Well, no.
Yeah. I think it feels like a game two.
No, this is because the avalanche can lose or it doesn't really matter. They're going to win this series.
This is game seven for the Lightning. Yeah.
And it's a game two for the avalanche. Correct.
Got it. Yeah.
Last night, I'm actually starting to get confused about the Lightning because the thought entered my head, are we sure the Lightning are good? Or do they just have Vasilevsky, who is the best goaltender in the league by a comfortable margin? Any other team, any other goaltender that was playing last night with that Tampa Bay team, the score would probably be like 5-2 at the end of regulation. It was insane, some of the saves he was making.
He was crazy.

Standing on his head.

Yeah, and you could feel like there's no worse feeling if you're a fan of a team in the NHL playoffs

and you're in the overtime and you're just like,

there's nothing we can do.

They staved it off for 10 minutes.

It felt like the Avalanche were just living in their zone.

The Lightning are good.

I think we're also finding out there's the tread on the tires,

not only just from playing two seven-game series this playoffs,

I'm going to go and the different substitution patterns that they're using unlike us we see that but even people that are just casual hockey fans look at it and they're like well the avalanche are just much faster on ice skates yeah than the tampa bay lightning are and you've seen the the so uh murals who's with the spit and Chicklets crew, I was watching a period with those guys last night, and he was saying that he talked to someone that basically the Lightning's big adjustment has been, if you've noticed, they're basically flipping the puck out of the zone every time they're in the defensive zone. The forecheck was too strong.
Well, instead of trying to gain possession and, like, go forward, they're just basically saying let's play 50 50 50 pucks in the middle of the ice instead of you know letting the avalanche gain up all this steam and come downhill constantly on us but what it was for one game and then last night it obviously didn't in games one and two they just couldn't get the ball or the puck out of their end sorry a lot of times we call it a ball it's like next level stuff yep um and the the forecheck that the avalanche had was too strong so they said said, fuck it. Let's just clear the puck every single time.
They're flipping it. Yeah, we'll flip it down the field.
Right in the middle. Down the field.
And then we'll go retrieve the ball. Just a nice little coffin corner.
Exactly. Right along the board.
The walls. I think we call them the walls.
The walls, yeah. The sidelines.
Yeah, the sidelines. Yes.
And then at the end of the game, there was that anticlimactic moment where I just wanted the horn. If the horn had sounded, then it would have been fine, but there was no horn.
Then everyone stood by the net, staring at the puck in the back of the net. And they were like, I don't know.
Is that a goal? The puck's back there. And I thought it was a goal.
I felt like it went in. And then by everyone else's reaction, I was like, wait, it didn't go in.
Well, everybody else on the ice, they just sw swarmed the net and there were some guys on the avalanche i think cadre even went to the side of the net and started swatting at like an imaginary puck that was on the ice and then i got very confused by that but you saw a bunch of lightning fans even i think the lightning coach after the game said john cooper john cooper said it stinks dog it stinks to mr cooper yep said after the game it stinks to lose like that on a blown call. Yeah.
And kind of said they had too many men on the ice is what he was implying. Which they did.
They did, but then if you go down that road, the Lightning had seven guys on the ice. Yeah.
To the Avalanche, six on the ice. They were right along the boards.
They were saying that it was clear that they had a full six, not someone in the middle of a line change. I don't know.
I agree with you. Fall to lie.
If you try to dissect every single second of a game, it's a tough call to make, and he wasn't part of the play. That's kind of what I like about hockey, though.
The first goal of the night, Kemper's helmet helmet came off and then the lightning scored after the guy's helmet came off. And then, uh, they like took a look at it and some people were saying, Oh, that shouldn't be a goal.
And by the, by the letter of the law, if the helmet comes off, they're supposed to stop the play. It's over, but it was kind of like in the same motion.
Right. And so the refs were like, that's a good hockey goal.
Yeah. And it's like, yeah, I get that.
I love love that about hockey sometimes they're just like we're going to ignore the rule book because my eyes told me that's fine yeah play on play on let the boys play on yeah uh wayne and gart just playing in the street um okay so we have what game cup in the building on friday night there's nothing better than the cup in the building like if you're not watching the cup in the building, come on. It's the cup.

The thing about the cup is whenever some team wins it,

if you root it against them, the ceremony afterwards,

like how happy the guys get, you're like, man, I love these guys.

Win a team.

And the way they do it, like where the captain will lift the cup

and then he'll make sure that the second guy is usually the guy

who's been there the longest or the grizzled vet. vet and it's like you can the announcers will like explain the story of oh this is why this guy goes and this guy and it's great there's nothing better that's one sport where i would actually appreciate it if the owners raised the cup first if they handed the giant ass stanley cup to like an old frail owner and then that guy had to skate around the ice yeah holding the Stanley Cup.
The videos that we would get out of the falls would be all time. It would be incredible.
Okay. Speaking of owners, segue.
How are you feeling about Dan Snyder and Roger Goodell going in front of, who are you going for? Congress? Who are you going for? Yes, Congress. Here's what I don't- A bunch of clowns in Congress that were trying to make names for themselves.
I was hopeful. I was hopeful when I heard, when the news was announced that Roger Goodell was going to testify under oath, I was like, oh, that's going to be good.
But like everything else in my life with Dan Snyder, I'm just resigned to the fact that he's going to be stuck on my ass like a dirty, hairy mole. Yes.
Until I die. And he's going to outlive me.
And then my kids will probably be also outlived by Dan Snyder's children, who will inherit the team and we're going to go five and eleven excuse me five and twelve uh for the next 150 years no five and five and thirteen we're going we're going 18 games we're going 18 nothing really new came to light there was well before the testimony there was another report that came out of a settlement that snyder made with a former employee he's just he's not going anywhere i'm just i've got what i've got my straw i still am down to one straw and it's a pathetic tiny chewed up looking straw it's one of the paper straws that's been inside a margarita for like two hours it's dissolving but i'm not gonna no it's nothing good is gonna happen and and the thing that always shocks me because i know people were mad at Goodell, because he was like, I can't oust Dan Snyder. People were like, you're the commissioner.
The commissioner, Roger Goodell was doing exactly what all the owners wanted him to do yesterday, and that was to sit in front of Congress, take bullets, and look like a buffoon, because his job is to be the shield for them, and they are his boss, not the other way. I think sometimes people get confused and be like, Roger Goodell is the boss of the owner.
No, no, no. The owners own him, and he owns the players.
Yeah, it's actually genius what the NFL has done by setting it up this way because if you want to get the real answers of why Snyder is still an owner, you have to get 31 rich guys into a room at the same time, women and ask them and mark davis and you ask them why is this guy not fired yet and then they they are all like well we don't have all the right information and and the real answer is well one he knows where all the bodies are buried and two he's an idiot and we like having an idiot sit at the poker table yeah it's great that's like that's pretty much the honest truth about all of this like he is the mark you think jerry jones wants wants jeffrey bezos owning the fucking washington commanders hell no dude jerry jones loves dan snyder yes and he immediately cozied up to dan snyder because he's very manipulatable is that a word yep manipulatable facts hank did i pronounce yes. Okay, thank you.
And yeah, he likes having that mark there in the division. It used to be their biggest rival.
Why wouldn't you? By having Dan Snyder around, now he doesn't think about the Washington Commanders anymore. Yes.
So Snyder's never going to sell the team. I'm going to die unhappy with my football legacy, and that's kind of where we stand at part of my take.
Yeah. All right, other news.
Let's stick with football. Texas is bad.
He also lied about not knowing Dave. Yeah.
He could get – that would be an incredible story if he went to jail for that. He should.
He perjured himself. Yeah.
Yeah, which Roger Goodell going to jail because he lied about not knowing Dave Portnoy would be an all-timer. You know what would be funny? Roger Goodell should have been like, yeah, you know, after looking through the last several months of what's been happening with the commanders, I've decided to fire, to suspend, to remove Tanya Snyder as owner of the Washington Commanders, and we're bringing back Dan Snyder.
That's real change. I don't even think I saw this guy brought up, but Dave won the charity auction, which he then shut down.
Correct. He's basically acknowledging that he never knew he was offering a seat for charity.
Yeah, lock him up. Lock him lock him up lock him up um yeah so the other football news is texas is back arch manning has uh made his decision i love i just love college football fan bases so much because obviously texas fans are very excited i also just took like a quick look around the internet and there's a lot of people coping being like he's not going to play for them like you think that you think that's actually his final decision I don't know yeah yes I do well I do think it is Arch Manning's going to get on campus be like whoa Quinn Ewers I didn't know he was going to be here you never told me about that okay I guess I will go to Ole Miss and then there was a lot of people who were like yeah Arch Manning's a bust he just has a good last name okay I'm kind of i'm kind of in that train but just because just for the takes yeah you got to zig when everybody else zags and he hasn't shown me that much of an arm he's like running over little kids yeah in his high school games but it's it's a good move i think for arch manning yeah i think if you look at the choices that he had georgia would have been a good choice too but he had no bad choices let's be honest this is like it's austin is a fucking awesome city yeah it's a great place for a college kid to be and he gets to play in the sec play in the sec build up his own name in a massive college football town that has nothing to do with either his dad or his two uncles yeah i i like it i yeah because if he goes to tennessee to Ole Miss, if he goes like, you know, there's a lot of expectations and everything feels a little bit more heightened.
Now he gets to go to Austin, and they might not be in the SEC by the time. Like, I think it's 2025 or 26, but I assume Texas and Oklahoma will be in the SEC before the Big 12 deal is up.
Either way, I would imagine he's going to play at least a season in the SEC, and that had to have played into it that Texas is now part of the SEC when he made his decision. He's probably not going to start his freshman year because they do have, they've got a stacked quarterback room ahead of him.
No, he's starting. He's a fucking stud.
Quinn Ewers, I think, is going to be starting when Arch Manning is a freshman there. They're probably going to redshirt him, but I'm already looking forward to 2025, Texas at Ohio State.
Arch Manning will be the quarterback. I'm pretty excited about that game.
Yes. Hell yes.
Put it on the calendar. Put it on the big calendar.
Yeah, put it on that one. It's going to be sick.
But, yeah, I think it's a good move for Arch Manning. Yeah.
Again, he had no bad options. Did you see the picture of the entire Manning family out to dinner the other night that Eli tweeted out? Did you see Peyton's eyes? He had my eyes.
I think Eli photoshopped. I think if you zoom in on his eyes, he used the pen tool to make his eyes black on him.
It's pretty sick. But the Manning family- It just looked like a country club.
They're all wearing the exact same shirt with the same logo, same khakis. They're like if the Bush family was just a dynasty and selling like really expensive life insurance yeah vineyard vines yeah they started vineyard vines yeah that's that's exactly what that is um and then last uh which is not surprising whatsoever kyrie irving wants to get out of brooklyn who could have seen this one coming wow back to boston yeah what funniest places for him to go b Lakers 2? Lakers 1.
Cleveland 3? Lakers would be very funny. Lakers 1, Boston 2, Cleveland 3? I think Knicks would be good, too, just because he'd be here.
Also, it would be funny if he went to Sacramento. That would be the smartest thing for him to do.
Yeah. Charlotte.
Yeah. He would look good in Charlotte.
He would. I mean, anybody looks good in those colors, I think.
And then now KD, too, it feels like that could be up in the air because the report was that he's closely monitoring the situation. I think KD will be on the Nets this year, and then next year is when he'll be like, I'm out.
That means KD is just refreshing Twitter at a faster pace than usual. Yes.
He's paying attention to every move. He should just go back to the Warriors.
He should come on and talk about it. He should come on and talk about it.
We just continue to get Alfred. But you know what? At this point, KD, do you think KD is afraid to come on the podcast because of the fact that we're the number one sports podcast and he's got a little bit of a reputation of you know joining the best he doesn't that's

that's what i would say we have to we have to win something before he gets on we haven't won anything yet it feels like that might be why he's avoiding us i think that um it's new media big cat you just don't understand new media it's like me and actually me and big cat are new media yeah hank's old media like all these executives don't understand what the kids are doing these days. Draymond actually

told Scott Van Pelt, I'm

new media. You're old media.

I don't understand what the kids are doing these days. Draymond actually told Scott Van Pelt, I'm new media.
You're old media. I actually fail to see where the line is drawn there.
Yeah, new media. I think new media is just players having podcasts, but I don't know.
Which is awesome. Yeah, it's great.
Sometimes. There's some players that have podcasts that don't say anything because they don't want to.
I'm happy that they're able to have a podcast

so that they can walk a mile in our shoes, see how hard it is.

Correct.

Like, step into the arena, KD.

Yeah.

KD is like, he's kind of the Skip Bayless for bloggers and podcasters

where he sits there and just takes cheap shots at us all day long.

Yeah, thinks he's better than everyone.

Step into the arena and prove yourself.

Please.

We'd love to have you. Jake has already turned down Kyrie Irving to the heat.
Oh, that's not heat culture. It's not the culture.
No. Come on.
You can't have that. I'd be shocked.
Yeah. No, that's not heat culture.
Okay. Let's get to our interview.
We have Matt Fitzpatrick, who just won the U.S. Open and broke our hearts.
Very funny interview in studio. And after him,

we have one of my favorite Mount Rushmore's that we've ever done with Joey

and Pat,

the Mount Rushmore of straight things that are low key gay.

And we will finish up with fire fest.

After all of that,

PFT,

you had a quick ad.

Yeah.

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Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is U.S.
Open champion with the trophy, Matt Fitzpatrick in studio. First of all, congrats.
Thank you. Incredible.
Do you want to do the hard questions or the easy questions first? Let's do the hard ones. Okay.
So you ruined my son's third birthday on Sunday. And I was thinking about it.
So we had a lot of money on Will, and you completely ruined it for us. Yeah.
So like tears, everything. He'll forever remember how horrible his birthday was because of you.
I was thinking about it maybe you just give us the trophy if you give us a trophy i think we could say i'll get you a replica okay your replica okay that'll make up for it that's my gift to him yeah for his birthday it was it was a thrilling tournament obviously incredible like the shots you made um have you replayed the 15th hole in your head yet where it's like you obviously had a tee shot that wasn't the best but you get a great lie and it's like you know you played great but you also had those moments that you know the ball went your way yeah yeah it is funny i mentioned it a few times that this year i feel like i've had a couple chances to win and do well and just just not had the look um and i think kind of that said it all i actually said to my caddy when we got up there i was like this makes a nice change yeah um so yeah it definitely you know definitely got lucky and and uh managed to take advantage of it yeah so your caddy it was a big story was his first major championship win you guys obviously have a good relationship i saw some of the clips behind the scenes of him telling you to like speed up when you're out there playing you guys obviously get along really really well together that's great i'm curious to know what the what the process is like for selecting a new caddy is it word of mouth is it somebody just like suggests him to you or you guys like have a couple pints in the bar and you hit it off and then you like you know you drunkenly plan like yeah i need you on my back yeah i got you there's a few different ways i mean um what the way that me and billy ended up working together he'd split with his last player i'd split with my last caddy just kind of coincided we we could work together basically but uh there's there's loads of different ways you know you go out with guys and um think oh well you know he's a really good caddy and some players end up poaching that caddy and uh or it's kind of you know you're set up by other caddies who your friends work for and um so yeah it's a range of different ways but for me and Billy it was just the the timing was just really convenient yeah it was incredible moment because, you know, obviously you win it and you have emotion, but he had double the emotion. More emotion, yeah.
And, I mean, were you just so happy? I would assume, obviously, you're happy for yourself because it's an incredible career achievement. But was there a part of you that's like, thank God that he's finally won one? Yeah, I mean, I think that's what he's definitely saying yeah yeah he uh it was just i think it was just it's been like his thing for so long um and he never really talks about it doesn't really talk about it often he had a moment a few years well quite a few years ago now where it's kind of in his players hands' hands and it didn't go the right way.
And Billy said himself, I saw in an interview he's given since, he said that he ended up crying basically all the way home. It was like a drive home and he was just in tears on the way home.
He was just devastated. So for me to be the person that wins it and he, yeah, it's pretty awesome.
Now the other shot that we have to talk about that, that shot from the bunker in 18th. So when you hit the tee shot, are you like, Oh man, I fucked this up.
Like you, was that going through your head? Like, God damn it. I, I, I just said to the, the foreplay boys that, uh, all week me and Billy had a bit of a disagreement on, on the on the 18th tee shot.
I wanted to hit driver, and he thought three would, but he went with my opinion, and that was fine. And for the first three days, I played it in two over par, which is pretty shitty.
Get to 18 Sunday, and I've got a one-shot lead, and he's like, I think it's three wood. I'm like, okay, I'll go with it.
And I changed my mind. But I was 100% committed to the shot.
I bought into it and it was the right club and I just didn't hit a good shot. And I was just like praying for a good light when I was getting on the way.
So wait, so you're saying like if that goes against you, right, and you don't hit that unbelievable shot from the bunker, Billy Foster, he's crying again in his car because it's the three wood. Quite possibly.
Yeah, like that's incredible. So then when you get to the bunker, I mean, that was an insane, insane shot.
Did you like when you hit it, were you like i got that that was that was exactly what i wanted

as soon as i hit it i was like literally i that was unbelievable i was like thank god like that was unbelievable like it came out perfectly and um everything about it was perfect it was always moving towards the flag and it always always had enough i knew it was always had enough distance but before it

I wasn't actually

shitting myself

before I hit it

but like I knew it always had enough distance, but before it, I wasn't actually shitting myself before I hit it, but it's not a shot that I particularly enjoy. It's not a shot that I've hit well this year.
I've not got a good track record with it, and to have it when I needed something the most wasn't really appealing. So to hit the shot that I did, yeah, it meant the world.

And now did you think that Will was going to miss the putt?

Because I mean, I'm a terrible gambler, so I was like, it's over.

And then it was just more painful than I even imagined with how close it was.

But to be honest, like in your heart of heart, were you like, I think I got this?

I'm a numbers guy.

And on the screen, it said there's a 25% chance.

Okay.

And I would give him 50% chance on that day because I thought he put well that day.

Not by my analytics, but we don't have to get into that.

But so I genuinely thought 50-50.

I would say I thought 50-50 because I just like I thought he'd put well all day.

I thought, you know, he'd hit a great shot in there he saw my ball and I gave him a good line um and I was shocked that it didn't turn more I thought my put I hit was a really good put because I had that put back in 2013 when I played the US amateur there and I seem to remember it moving a lot um and after it didn't move as much as I thought. So, yeah, when it stayed high, I was pretty happy.
Yeah, so walk me through what happens because you want to be polite. Golf is a sport of manners, right? So he's putting to send it to a playoff, to a two-hole playoff.
You're watching him hit this putt. You want him to miss.
You want to win the U.S. Open.
But at the same time, you have to think to yourself, I can't celebrate too much if it looks like it's not going in, right? So what was going through your head? Did you even think about suppressing how happy you needed to be when you missed that putt? Yeah, Billy said to me, you know, be prepared for three extra holes. And I kind of – Wasn't it two? Yeah, two.
Yeah, yeah. You too we were like like you you finished the two holes you're like all right let's go let's go no no no one more yeah but he coached you up he was like just just like be ready yeah just be ready you know to to play and and and part part of me again i'll be on it like 20 percent of me was like yeah you know you're right you're absolutely right but 80 of them is like i think that's it yeah and and uh it's a weird feeling because obviously you're watching it's in someone else's hands now all of a sudden to to make or break it and um the pup missed and of course i didn't want to start running around fist pumping everywhere i kind of turned to billy and and say you know i would go

you probably see me on the broadcast i was like going billy billy and he was already like yeah blubbering or whatever and billy tells a lot of great stories about his old boss sevey balasteros one of the golfing legends and uh he always billy always always says uh what sevey used to say was you son of my bitch

and I went over to him

and I went to Billy Billy and he's like still got and I'm like we did it you son of my bitch so it was yeah when it out gave him a hug and then went made sure I shook Will's hand and his caddy's hand and and then after that that that was it was like all hell broke loose yeah what a moment for you like that's your your whole life I would imagine has been leading up to a moment like that yeah I can only imagine like the the outpouring of emotion that you have yeah it feels 10 million times better than I ever thought it would and um so after I shut Will's hand, I went to find my family. My brother walked past me to go and shake Will's hand.
My dad walked past me to go and shake Will's hand. Oh, I would hate that if I was Will.
I would be so mad if I was Will. Jake would definitely do that.
We've got to get on the podcast. And then I saw my mom first, and she wasn't crying, which I was kind of, well, kind of, which of.
She's like, I'm finally proud of you. And then I come back and my brother's like bawling and that kind of set me off and then like gave my dad a hug and that set me off a bit more.
And that was kind of when I was like, we did it. Yeah.
So you're also in the history books because you were – heard it uh all day all day on sunday that obviously you'd won the amateur in 2013 at the same place the only other person to do the same course amateur and us open is you and jack niklaus and it's it's crazy how much of like your familiarity with the course played into you being able to win this tournament? Massive. Yeah, I just feel like because I had success there before, I just felt I did feel like really confident throughout the whole week.
I just felt I was so comfortable where I needed to go, what shots to hit. And I think that, yeah, I honestly think that helped massively.
Because it's one of those things as viewers, they beat that storyline into the ground. A million times.
Oh, by Friday. Yeah, so we're like.
Yeah, did you guess that I won the USA? Yeah, yeah. Probably never mentioned it.
Yeah, so we're thinking like, did this actually help? But to hear you say it, like it absolutely helps. No, genuinely did.
I think because, you know, knowing that I was saying someone else that hitting shots around other golf courses we play where I've maybe not played well but never won round.

There's still shots where you're a bit intimidated by it.

It's like I don't feel comfortable with this.

But there wasn't one shot out there that I felt intimidated by other than the 11th hole.

And that is the only hole we didn't play in the U.s amateur oh the par three yeah yeah okay you were intimidated by it even though it's like the shortest hole in the golf wedge sandwich sandwich love wedge sandwich gap wedge sandwich so you had no idea what to make of it three over par oh wow so yeah i was sucked on that yeah i gotta admit like when you hit that drive at 18 though i celebrated i was so happy you were in that bunker yeah i could i was like i fucking did it i finally hit a golf future yeah he's gonna bring it home i gave my son his birthday present yeah i said that moment i took it away yeah yeah i think i said all-time choke job i think i said that out loud nice and then you came and hit would you say that's an iconic shot out of the bunker? I've been told that, yeah. Yeah, it's iconic.
They should name the bunker after you. Yeah, there's going to be a nice plaque.
No, I don't know if it is. Did you thank the patrons for trampling down the grass there on the 15th? No, I actually had someone just place it onto a nice bit of grass.
I actually feel bad because I'm like always shout for, always shout for.

I didn't realize how far right it had gone.

No one said it hit them, so I got away with it.

We were bitter, and it was – because it is one of those things.

I think if you talk to any champion of the U.S. Open or any major champion,

you have to be great, but you also have to get a couple lucky bounces. You do, 100%.

That's part of the game.

Yeah, and you got one, so it's pretty much illegal, you should give us this trophy or give it to willie z so here's another hard question for you the story goes according to my good friend paul bissonette he's a hockey guy but he gave me some golf background to ask you about uh the story goes that you added 30 yards to your drive recently pretty much yeah so did you pass the piss test? Yeah, I did one Wells Fargo, which was middle of May. So pass.
I'm good to go. So that was one cycle ago? Yeah.
I'm just eyeballing you down, right? You look like you're a steroid user. You got veins popping out.
How'd you do it, though? How'd you add that distance? It's like a golf club with special weights called the stack. It's got different weights on it.
You can change them. You follow an app program.
It's like going to the gym, but for swinging it faster. Done it for quite a year and a half now, and it's made a massive difference.
Oh, wow. It's like a batting donut for baseball.
Is that what it is? Yeah. On Deck Circle, they put a big weight on it so that the bat feels lighter when you're in the box.
Here's another tough question. On a par four, if there's no water and you're just hitting putter the entire time, how many shots if it's a 420-yard par four? Do I get to tee it up on the first shot? Yeah.
Well, I go putter off the deck, but that's me. I'm built different.
You can do whatever you want. I'm going to tee it up.
I'm going to take advantage of that. I'm probably making an eight.
Eight. Okay, that's what I said I could do too.
Your professional golfer just won US Open. He said he could do an eight as well.
I think I could do an eight. We'll tie.
And then we go to playoff. And then we could use real clubs.
Yeah, I'm going to do steroids beforehand, so I'll probably out-drive you. Can I count this? So I'm a Big Ten guy.
Can I count this for a Big Ten championship? Absolutely. What, you did one quarter at Northwestern? Three months, yeah.
That counts though, right? Three months is enough. Okay.
One day is enough. All right, so that's a Big Ten championship.
Yeah. Done.
Okay, I like that, because that's a little solace in the fact that I lost all that money on Willie Z. Yeah, you really heard us.
You really heard us. Deeply.
I think I might have said on Sunday. I'd say sorry, but I'm not sorry.
Yeah, I think I said on Sunday's show that someone from England shouldn't be able to win the U.S. Open.
I was lashing out. That's serious.
I understand that. I understand that.
Would you trade this in for a Claret Jug? Oh, good question, PFT. Thank you.
Oh, wow, that's a great question. Thank you.
No, I wouldn't. Oh, because we have a Claret Jug back here.
We're going to see if we're going to trade it in. It means more because you took it back from the U.S.
It's like revenge for 1776. Yeah, exactly.
That's what it is. It's coming home.
Yes, precisely. That's probably the only thing that might come home.
Yeah. How would you rank them, rank them though is the Masters I always have a tough time really because I've always felt the US Open was the one that I had the most chance over because it was always the toughest it was always thick rough tight golf courses and that kind of suits my game more but going back to Augusta every year playing the Masters every year there's just something special about it so I always tended to rank that number one yeah then I would probably have to go US Open purely on this on my game I felt always fit there yeah and then Claret Chug yeah okay and then PGA there was a putt that you hit I want it was on 16.
It was the one that was going downhill, the fastest putt of all time. Oh, on 17.
On 17. Yes, yes.
It was the fastest putt of all time, too. It might have been because you touched it.
You barely even tapped it. How do you even putt that? It looked to me like the thought process on your end was just touch the ball as lightly as possible.
It was. It was because throughout the day, hit so many puts like five foot past and i missed the comeback and my caddy was already freaking out at that time like what are you doing and uh on that one in particular given the situation i was like just just get it down there just literally just touch it and um yeah i was happy to see it like go to to two inches and just tap it in and go to the 18th so that's what i love about the u.s open sometimes we root for the course at the yeah i'm a big fan of that i love that okay yeah i love that i love playing golf courses that are just insanely hard and just you know it's just a grind was there ever any moment though you were playing and you're like oh come on like give me a chance why are you doing this there was two and i don't know if i can't remember if it was sunday no it was saturday there was two pin positions one on 13 and one on number nine and they were like they were like on slopes and i was like that's i i love the usga like 2018 shinnecock was unbelievable when everyone was complaining about the golf course yeah um and i loved it there i thought the golf course was so good and the setup was great but those ones on saturday were a little bit suspect they were like kind of slanted at an ankle yeah yeah i read a headline that uh i was going to you you kind of you kind of duped me because there was a headline that basically said you called your ex-girlfriend before the u.s open and got No, that's not true.
Oh, it isn't? Not before the US Open. Oh, when was it? It literally says that, yeah.
This was March, yeah. Okay, all right.
Because I was going to say you're a psycho for calling your ex-girlfriend, but then the actual story is that your ex-girlfriend has family in Ukraine and gave you perspective. So you kind of stole that joke from us that was yeah that was uh yeah that was in march that was um i wanted to be like desperate much and then i kept reading the story and it was like yeah some great perspective well that shows you like god damn it man you beat us every which way can't get one over on you sucks man uh so what's what's like, is this a launching off point? Like is there, what's your next tournament? Are you playing next weekend? I'm playing the Scottish Open in two weeks.
Okay. Yeah, so I've got two weeks off.
I'll go back to the UK on Sunday. And yeah, just take it all in for the next few days and figure out what's next.
yeah yeah i'm happy you're celebrating for a while

because i feel like there's a lot of times where guys win something and they're like and they're like back on the road yeah it's a huge moment i mean i've got like i'll enjoy this week and then i'll get back to try and practice the following week but then i'll play two tournaments and then i actually do actually go on holiday so yeah i can properly celebrate then that'll be great how drunk did you get the night of?

I had one sip of champagne. What?

Yeah. I was doing

me go on holiday so yeah i can properly celebrate then that'll be great how drunk did you get the night of i had one sip of champagne what yeah i i would do media till i didn't basically my last bit of food was probably on like the 15th hole what'd you eat banana bread okay and uh homemade yes whoa who made it your mom no no no, no. Oh.
No. No, we had a chef, by the way.
Okay, all right, all right, all right. So that was the last time I ate, and then, like, I don't know what time it was, but, like, six hours later, I've still not eaten anything.
And I know full well, like, I am the biggest lightweight of all time, and I don't really drink anyway, so I knew if I'd have had a drink, I'd have just been dead. Yeah.
So, yeah, I'm saving it for when i go on holiday okay um i had one last question for you it's a rowback question use promo code take you get 20 off rowback great golf gear qzips hoodies everything take 20 off with promo code take r-h-o-b-a-c-k.com so we asked our good friend max homa this uh when he won uh the fortnight the Fortnite Open, and we asked him when the cash actually hits your account. So you won $3.15 million.
Has it hit your account yet? I don't know. Check.
You check right now. Also, how many more zeros do you think you'd have in that if it was a live US Open that you won? Just something to think not sure don't care is this guy from usga yeah he just gave me a look like you motherfuckers yeah you gotta check your account we at max i think it didn't hit it hadn't hit and then he texted us when it did i think i think sometimes well pj tour i Tour, I think, is normally played on, like, a Tuesday, and it is a Tuesday.
Yeah. You got direct deposit set up? It's not hit.
Oh, get out of here. Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Have fun being poor for the next 12 hours. I would just be refreshing that forever.
Just, like, just hitting the refresh, hitting the refresh. Do you have anything that you want to buy once it hits? No.
Not, not, not, no, not off the top of the top. See, I don't like you because you're too likable.
You're too nice. No, I don't like you either.
I do not like you. You're too nice.
You're a nice guy. I ruined your kid's birthday.
Yeah, you did. I get it.
It's fine. I'm serious.
It's fine. No problem.
So whatever you want to give to me off that money when it hits. It was Father's Day.
Yeah, it was Father's Day as well. Even worse.
Wow. Oh, yeah.

Oh, no. Listen, I told the story

on the show on Sunday, but I had to give

a speech. We had family over

for my son's birthday. I had to give a speech

to everyone right around the 14th hole

where I was like, listen, everyone lock

in. It's Will

Zalatornis. Yeah, yeah.
The good news is, though,

my dad had a good father's day. Yeah, he did.

The problem is my dad just

likes sports, so he was like,

you hit a shot. I can't remember when.
He was like,

Thank you. Zalatoris.
Yeah, yeah. The good news is, though, my dad had a good father's dad.
Yeah, he did. The problem is my dad just likes sports, so he was like, you hit a shot.
I can't remember when. He was like, wow, what a shot.
And I was like, shut up. Shut the fuck up.
Like, we're Will Zalatoris guys today. Like, you want to be in a good retirement home or a bad one? Figure it out.
But yeah, this has been great. We appreciate it.
You've taken a little sting off of it. We appreciate that's good we actually no joke so when we're booking Peggy who books a lot of our guests great she's a great part of the team she texted us on Sunday and was like do you guys want Matt Fitzpatrick and I think I said hell no and then after like an hour we're like alright well actually yeah we should do this yeah I, we should do this.
Yeah. I said, I think I'll pull the text up.

I think I said, I was so mad.

I was so mad.

That's fine.

Let's see.

I think Big Cat said, hell no.

And then I said, well, he did just win the US Open.

So maybe.

I'm going to say yes, reluctantly.

Yeah.

You're going to drag us to it.

But no, this has been a fantastic interview.

So we appreciate it.

And congratulations. Thank you.
Thanks. Congrats.
Are you a Fitzy? Did they has been a fantastic interview. So we appreciate it and congratulations.

Thank you.

Thanks.

Congrats.

Are you a Fitzy?

Did they call you a Fitzy? Yeah, Fitzy.

Okay.

I've got a few nicknames, yeah.

Fitzmagic?

Fitzmagic, I'll take that, yeah.

Okay.

You can have it.

We lost our Fitzmagic.

Oh, okay.

Can you grow a beard?

No.

Maybe not a Fitzmagic.

No chance.

No chance.

No chance.

Thanks, Matt.

Appreciate it, man.

Thanks.

Matt Fitzpatrick was brought to you by Skrill.

Thanks for Matt. Appreciate it, man.

Thanks.

Matt Fitzpatrick was brought to you by Skrill.

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And now, here's Mount Rushmore. Okay, Mount Rushmore time.
We have our good friends, colleagues, Joey and Pat, out and about podcast. Go subscribe right now.
Tremendously hilarious guys. They've been doing an incredible whirlwind.
They were on Andy Cohen. We got the Pride Parade on Sunday, which I think I'm – as long as I don't have to walk, I'm in.
So if I can be – We can get you a wheelchair. We can get you a jazzy gear.
Just say the word. I want to be in the truck.
You can be in the truck. Yeah, so...
Get him a scooter. I'm in, though.
Bring it back to the scooter. I'm in for the pride parade.
I also, before we get into this, I wanted to... We're doing this thing where we're just going to see how many times after the NBA Finals we can bring up the NBA Finals to make Hank mad.
I love the NBA Finals. So Pat is a huge Celtics fan uh what do you think about the Celtics going forward I mean we gave going forward I mean we would have to get through Brooklyn again if Kyrie stays there we'd have to get through Milwaukee again those those are you high or low on this young core I'm high on them I'm high on I mean we gave him the series right experience beats uh youth in that in that situation situation But we've now gained experience So maybe next year we go back And we win And Joey what are your thoughts on the Celtics Well I have a quite different opinion Of the Celtics? Of the Celtics or the Bulls You made that up I made that up I like the green team I didn't think there was any You like Jason Tatum I like Jason Tatum That was the only reason I watched that one And Pritchard That little The bottom The white guy I like Luca Donnick Luca Donnick He's not an arts team I don't care what he means I like that team Whatever he's on Yeah He's actually very good looking That's the one I like Have you seen the new Top Gun Yeah you don't think so No But I just song.
Welcome to the danger zone. I'm curious to hear your thoughts on the dogfight football, how that stacks up to the dogfight volleyball.
You know, I've been very into dogfight football for many years. Play offense and defense.
Well, he's been a vocal supporter for many years. Wait, you don't think Luka's attractive? No.
The hair? The tattoos? I don't want that gross Eastern European face. That tattoos? He looks good.
You know, he's an okay looking guy. There's just much better options.
In the whole NBA, there's much better options. I like Brooklyn Nets because I like Brooklyn Nets.
You know why? Because I've been frequenting the joint and they have a great set up. The food there is really good.
Carbone, right? Carbone's downstairs. Love that.
And the Crown Club there. He's got a cigarette in the bathroom at the Crown Club there.
That's awesome. Yeah.
And I tipped the waitress. I was like Rockefeller.
The food's great there. There's great seats there.
The store, the little boutique they have has all different costumes and outfits to buy. Yep.
Love that store. I love so.
The Nets are my team. Okay.
Because I like going to the place. Yeah.
It's a CNBC place. Yeah.
Okay, so last question before we do our Mount Rushmore. We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of straight things that are low-key gay, which I think I'm very excited for.
I think it's going to be very funny. Pride month overall.
What's your guys' stance on everyone changing their all the brands changing their logos? I saw the Yankees did it today and everyone got very upset. Well, I think, oh, sorry, Trish? Well, I was just going to say it's interesting because I didn't notice part of my take logo had been changed.
Which is actually good because that means you're not pandering. No, we did.
So you're actually more, you're more of an ally. If you look at our logo year round, I'm giving Big Cat a big old hug.
True. How did you end up that shade? Of Grage? I don't know know yeah that there's a few different shades that i have he gets swarthy in the summertime yeah and look the other one the other logo you don't really know where pft's hand is and i'm holding a hot dog i'm actually it could be low yeah fisting him all right and i have a hot dog so about what you're saying to piggyback what you just said uncle dan um i think that it's i think obviously the only to make sure that everyone knows that they're like inclusive but the fact that they're forced I think companies are forced to do it now because if you don't do it people will riot outside your place and say that you're anti-trans anti-gay you're anti-this so I think society forced it on people because if you don't put it up that means that you hate everyone you can celebrate it we just don't want to see it I think it's fucked.
I think no one should have it up. I think it should be a thing that's known.
Don't be a fucking dickhead to people that aren't like you. It feels like we are on the path to that, though, where it's like, you know, even you think 10 years ago, we're getting to a point where it's like Pride Month doesn't have to be the big show because it's accepted everywhere.
No one should have to have a big video coming out saying, I have this. I don't care who the fuck you're fucking.
Just be a good person. Facts.
By the way, I'm looking at that flag right now. Come on, guys.
I know. I just looked at it, too.
Damn. We had that since year one, I think.
Yeah. Goddamn.
But yeah, once companies like Raytheon and Lockheed Martin, like companies that build bombs, they're like, we're going to make all our bombs in the rainbow flag this year for inclusivity. I think it's nice that everyone feels included the kids are feeling included, seeing how much hoopla is going around it.
I think that's what everyone's doing. The pride parades for the youth.
All this gay shit's for the youth because now we're too old and fucking bitter. I don't care what the fuck's going on.
Just don't get in my way when I'm trying to shop. I've also noticed in the last three years, four years, five years, whatever it is, that gay people in sports, it's kind of normal now, which is good.
It used to be a huge deal when a former NBA player came out of the closet. It's like, whoa, holy shit, can you believe this? Now it's like, yeah, we probably understand that somewhere between 5% and 20% of people in major sports leagues are probably just like the rest of us.
And I feel like teammates now have no problems person, like, comes out of the closet as a teammate. They're like, great, good, awesome.
I just stood in Carl Nazib's DMs yesterday. Oh.
Really? And we just had. He read it.
He left me on read. Oh.
He left me on read, too. He curved you? Or no, he wrote back to me.
Every fucking gay in the world. When he came out, every queen came out the woodwork, following him, typing, you know.
And his boyfriend looks exactly like you thought his boyfriend was going to look. But we just had Gus Kenworthy on our show.
And we played a game of Pin the Tail on the Homo. Ooh.
So he got to ask three people a set of questions, try and figure out who here at Barstool was gay. Ultimately, it was Tommy Smokes.
Tommy Smokes. It was okay.
It was Tommy Smokes. It was very fun.
Very fun game. I like that.
That is a fun game. I was upset that I missed when you guys did the stool scenes, which was also very funny.
Oh, thank you. Yeah.
That was fun. Like I said, tremendously funny.
Tammy Smokes would be a great drag name for it. Tammy Smokes.
Yeah. That's just a good name.
He smokes. Long cigarettes like Virginia Slims.
Maybe a Cruella de Vil. In the home.
Oh. The 120s.
Yeah. Yeah.
All right. So let's do it.
So you guys are our guests, so we will let you decide the draft order. So it's Joey and Pat, it's PFT and I, and then it's Hank, Bubba, and Jake over there.
So it's three teams. So I tried to explain what a snake draft is to Joey.
I thought it was a sex move, and I don't think I was very successful at it. So, Joey, if we pick number one, then we have the last pick.
Yeah, you pick one and five, six. Five, six, yeah.
One, six, seven you would have. It would go one, two, three, four.
I don't think anyone's taking this, so I think we should go two. Okay, and who would you like to go one? Them, yeah.
Okay, so we'll go nice around the room. I don't think they're going to be as creative.
Hank, Jake, and Liam are going to go one. You guys are going to go two.
PFT and I will go three and four, wrap around, and then you guys will go. Is there a good one first? Yes, we're hoping that we can buy it.
Which is mine? It's the second one down. This is a gamble.
This is a gamble. There's strategy involved in this.
If you guys get the one that we have that we're going with second, I will be shocked. I would agree.
I feel like this is a pretty... Here come the excuses.
I love cocks. Okay.
Fucking a man. What did you think about Hank's tweet? He said fucking a man.
He was such an ally this month that he actually had sex with a man and tweeted about it. Live tweet.
It was beautiful.

It'd be like a live camp perhaps next time.

The one one that we're going with, we've got to figure out a team name, Hubba Marsh, is bodybuilding.

Not like weightlifting, but like the actual spray tan.

All you're doing is just focusing on getting your muscles as tight as you can, wearing the tight thong bikinis. Flexing in the mirror.
Yeah. Those guys, they get too big.
It's weird. There's nothing wrong with going to the gym and getting your fitness on, but when you're really just flexing, spray tan, the whole thing.
You're analyzing different body parts. You're like, man, my legs look great.
Yeah. Do this.
Yeah. Yeah.
And when you're looking at your competition, you're just checking them out. Yeah.
Like, oh, got great chest great abs great arms like thank you i wish i had his traps yeah okay well we're gonna turn it up a notch here hank okay go with number two once you read that out two words gentlemen double penetration oh yeah rubbing what two dicks one twat okay uh-huh that is that's a straight thing that's straight oh we dp, bro. But both your dicks are together.
That's the gayest thing you can do. I have a picture I pulled up of like, would you mind showing them? You did turn it up to 11.
I wanted to make sure I had the right that you weren't confused about what the actual thing we were talking about was. Airtight.
We were saying on last show, it is weird though how there's certain guys that are threesome guys. Yep, that would be.
Yep. Yeah.
We're literally fucking your friend's dick. We're looking at a picture, and you guys are right.
You're literally fucking your friend's dick inside of a warm vagina koozie. That's what's going on.
Yes, spit roasting is something that some straight guys are into. It's kind of weird.
And Eiffel Tower We should have said that one You can also take the actual building Itself I feel like that's Okay so we'll go with our 1-1 I think we know it I got this. We both actually had this.
Who had it first? We both had it. We both came up with a list earlier.
So why does Big Cat got to say it? Oh, stop it, Hank. Stop it, Hank.
Here we go. All right, so our one-one.
Hey, Big Cat, I'm going to allow you to say it first. All right, thank you, PFT.
Oh, that's very nice of you, Captain PFT. Jerking off.
Oh, what? I thought of that one, too. You're literally touching a dick.
Touching a dick. Oh, you're giving a handjob.
Yeah, you're jerking off a dick. Constantly touching it and, like, really.
Caressing, caressing it. Staring at it, looking at it, caressing it.
You're gooning over it. It's not a glancing blow.
You've got, like, constant contact with it. And you know what? You get really good at it, too.
Yeah, Really good. You know what you like.
You know what your dick likes.

You look forward to it.

Hank, you're looking at me with the-

I don't know.

I guess I'll let the panel decide.

What?

You don't think that that's-

I feel like it's a natural thing.

Like, your body-

No, I mean, technically-

It is.

Of course.

What are you saying?

That homosexuality isn't natural, Hank?

No, I'm saying jerking off.

Like, that just-

If you don't-

Even if you don't jerk off,

like, your body's gonna eventually just cum.

Is that true?

For adults? I think- It's called called nocturnal admission. It's a handjob from God.
Did you say nocturnal admission? Admission? Admission? What is it? Emission? Emission. Could be admission.
All right, PFT, you go with our next one. I think we have a great list.
We got a good setup going here. My second one, I'm going to go with...
You are going to go with? Shut the fuck up, Hank. You're so bad at trying to split us apart.
We're lockstep right now. Hank is upset because we smoked him in the first one.
PFT and I compiled a list of like 10 great answers. Same.
So we can pick anything we want. Okay, this is an easy number two.
Yeah, it was. Yeah, number two for me, wrestling.
Fuck. Yep.
Wrestling. Easy.
Either professional or competitive, like, collegiate wrestling. Either way you want to slice it.
Or WWE. Yeah.
Like, it's just, you know, it's a lot of straight guys being like, go choke that guy out. Jump on him.
Shirts off. I'm going to triangle choke you out from behind real quick.
Right. Tap choke tap when you're about to pass yeah right spear yeah spear you yeah like all that stuff yeah suplex yeah the um or the uh what's the one where the guy gets behind you and then he like sits on your ass and then grabs your legs up i think jared the wall is a jerry oh that's a uh it's a x something figure four the figure four leg lock yeah that's pretty gay uh x--Pac when he would just bounce up and down.
The Bronco Buster. He would literally, the guy would be dead in the corner and he would jump on the ropes and basically grind his face in their face.
Or grind his dick in their face. Yeah.
Should we start a wrestling podcast? Yeah, that's good. We actually have a, we have an opening.
We just canceled one. Yeah, we have an opening.
Well, we canceled one. We canceled one.
Yeah. No, well, yeah, that made room for you guys.

We can offline about this.

Yeah.

That would actually be great.

At our June 1, July 1 meeting.

If we brought back wrestling.

Yeah, isn't that convenient?

We had a July 1.

If we brought back wrestling.

There's college wrestling.

No, it's just, no, Brandon can do wrestling, but Joey and Pat have to be on the show.

It's called Aslan.

And Brandon's just talking about how much he loves wrestling, and they're just sitting in the corner being like, that's gay. Yeah.
Okay. Are we next? Yeah, you're next.
So we had an iteration of wrestling, but we're not going to use it because we feel that would be too much of a piggyback. But we should bring it up.
Can we bring it up? Yeah, bring it up. Yeah.
It was Turkish oil wrestling. Oh.
Have you ever seen that? No. Please Google Turkish oil wrestling.
You're literally literally think fisting and grabbing guys balls Your hand is down the other guy's pants the whole time. So they try and get in and like Grab and you wrestle.
Oh, yeah, this looks good. Yeah, it's just guys with their shirts off Turkish Yeah, yeah, they're going to show wrestling their hands are down their pants.
Oh, wow. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah No, you guys are right on that.
That's I didn't know this was a thing. Oh, I did So Joey we either do this top one here or this one here the very top or this no wait It's uh, it's Hank's turn now.
Oh, no, you didn't take yours. Yeah top one of this you pick I think maybe the one that's highlighted.
I really I hope that there's like at least one listener who's listening Who's like a little bit homophobic and hears us say their favorite activities. Oh, I would hope so.
Wait, what? Wrestling? This one's very good, and it's a tale as old as time from the Greeks. Fraternities and hazing.
Yes. It's a gay show.
Let me stick this funnel on my- Nothing better than an elephant walk, ladies. Yeah, right? Let me put this funnel on my friend's ass and have him butt chug beer while I'm making sure that there's a secure seal on his fucking asshole.
Oh, that could have been one too, butt chug. We're giving away so many.
That's Dana Beers. Dana Beers for sure.
He poofs. Pounding beers in general is kind of pause.
Yeah, yeah. So frats in general, yeah.
Yeah, frats in general. Fraternity X.
Like knowing where all your buddies went to high school. Yeah.
Just like Joey said. That's the gayest thing ever.
The Greek alphabet. Yes.
Yeah. Alpha Sigma Sigma.
The little dinner parties in their costumes. Like their little suit and tie.
Togas. Yes.
Yeah, the costumes they wear. It really is.
It's like if you actually, it's a funny thing. Like you know that comic, what was it, Garfield without Garfield? Yes.
If you did like like, frats without chicks, and you just, like, looked at all the pictures, and you're like, okay. And then they have to all prove that they're straight by having a formal.
Yeah. Oh, get the chicks.
The ratio sucks. Hey, I got breaking news real quick.
Breaking sports news. Oh.
Breaking news. Arch Manning has announced that he is going to play for the Texas Longhorns.
Whoa. Yeah, Texas is back.
I knew that. Officially back.
I saw that coming. Joey's been saying that for weeks.
What? Yeah. From who? Wow.
For Adam Schefter at ESPN. Ever heard of him? Wow.
Oh, yeah. Hanson disbelief.
That's shocking. It also shows the benefit of them going to the SEC, because I feel like he might not have picked that if he doesn't get to play in the SEC.
You would like Archie Manning. Arch? Arch.
Arch Manning. Archie is the grandfather, the patron of the family.
Is that right? Archie, Payton, Eli, and this is the younger one. Oh, I love all those.
Oh, yeah. Actually, Eli tweeted a picture of the boys hanging out.
It was very funny. Is that 6'4"? What do you think about? Yeah.
Oh, my God. Well, I'm a grunt girl trying to ensure I hit up the whole family, including the dad.
That's the whole family. They're all just dressed exactly alike.
Yeah, run a train on me. The Mannings.
The Mannings. Line up're going to go with the Catholic Church Oh that's so good That is so good The drama of the costumes The pageantry of it all It's theater They come in dresses, there's spraying.
There's smokes going on. There's candelabras.

There's singing.

There's chorus.

There's instruments.

Yes.

And at the very end of it all, there's priests touching young boys.

Yes.

There's grooming, which there's nothing better than grooming.

There's ornate decorations everywhere.

It's really well decorated.

It's a great pick.

There's a naked dude that's just hung on the wall.

Yeah.

Sing-alongs.

Yeah.

There's sing-alongs. Okay.
Great Great pick boys. Great pick.
Very good. And then we will go with, it's, it's slapping the ass after a play, but basically just any celebration with your sporting teammates.
Yep. Yep.
It's, it's a little bit over the top. Like again, if you remove the, if you remove the play beforehand and you just saw a bunch of guys, the way they're like celebrating or like, yep.
It's a little bit over the top. Again, if you remove the play beforehand and you just saw a bunch of guys,

the way they're celebrating or hugging each other.

We discussed the passion.

The dog pile at the end of the game.

Anything.

The dog pile, someone hits a buzzer beater.

Interception.

Every sport, you know, it plays.

Yeah, you get the interception, you go with your boys to the end zone all standing for the camera posing together yeah that's good we have a good one I think is it our turn? yes it's sharing a bed on vacation 10 guys in a room trying to save money in Cancun or fucking Daytona Beach all cozy cozied up in the same bed. Well, ten guys in a bed, yeah.
That's more fantasy. Can we take one back, actually? No.
Who knows? This one, too. This one really kind of takes it up a notch.
You have another pick. No one's taking this one.
I didn't want to be too sexual off the bat. So I was like, let's slide this one.

And then the last one we do.

You didn't want to.

Wasn't your first one?

Joey just showed us a picture of two dicks in a vagina.

Well, this is actually.

What is more sexual than that?

Casey Smith's favorite.

So you have another pick coming up.

And also we do honorable mentions.

So we can discuss everything that we didn't pick.

So you'll have a chance for that

as well yeah all right there's one here next one for us um i think we do this pft this one i love secrets yeah yeah all right so our next pick is uh a quarterback under center so not shotgun offense quarterback under center pro style pro style offense what does that mean putting. What does that mean? Putting his hands in, you basically, the quarterback puts his hands in the ass in the center.
Tom Brady has a very specific way that he likes his center's ass to be. Yeah.
And so he makes his center put a specific type of towel, like, in his ass cheeks. Actually? Yeah, during the game.
Yeah. And what does it do? It just creates more of a V? It just arouses them.
It absorbs the sweat that's coming out of the asshole. Yes.
Because males naturally lubricate when Tom Brady is grinding underneath. Yeah.
So he has to put a giant-ass towel in between their ass cheeks during games. Yeah.
An ass towel. That actually, you know what? Instead of changing your logo to a rainbow, why doesn't a team come out against homophobes and be like, we're only running pro-style offense this year?

No shotgun.

That is something I would love to see in the NFL.

That would be nice.

For Pride Month.

Yes, for Pride Month.

That's why they do it in June because they don't actually have to do it.

I think we do this one last.

Well, that's obvious, though.

Which one?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That one or this one?

That's what we should have done.

I was going to go with the first one.

Okay.

So the last one, being called a daddy Or calling yourself daddy Oh yeah yeah Daddy's home We're calling your dad daddy She'll get erect Give daddy a kiss Zaddy do you know what a zaddy is Explain a zaddy A zaddy? Explain a zaddy. A zaddy is like a hot, like a metrosexual, like Silver Fox daddy, right? Right.
What about Dada? Because I'll come home and be like, my son calls me Dada. Stop.
And we'll kiss on the lips. How long is the kiss? That's not gay.
Oh, long. I feel like guys only do that to either their kids or to girls, though.
Daddy? Yeah. No, kids call their dad, Daddy.
All the time. Yeah.
Daddy's home. Especially, like, daughters call their dad's Daddy all the time.
My siblings and I refer to our parents as Mommy and Daddy. Yeah.
It would not be gay. Yeah.
But we don't call them. No, Daddy is very gay.
I wouldn't say, Daddy, can I borrow this? I'd be like, Dad, can I have this? But when we refer to our parents to each other, it's like, do you call Mommy today? Yeah Yeah Yeah Daddy But you've also used daddy in the bedroom Several times Hank's doing a very bad job Of trying to poke holes in this team He's killing us This team is ironclad right now Hank We're fucking lockstep We're airtight I'm just mad you got Catholic Church That's like the guy Catholic Church is the best pick Catholic Church is the best Well Second best Behind double penetration, very strong. What about this one?

Okay, you guys go with your last pick.

It's very funny watching Hank's brain try to wrap itself around how jacking off could fit into this draft.

You're going to think about it next time you go jerk off.

Okay, the last one.

I don't think I'm going to be thinking about girls.

Is that strong enough?

I'm thinking about girls, dude.

You're thinking about girls as your hand is wrapped around your meaty cock?

Yeah.

It definitely is. I mean, I guess I will be digging in there, too.
You're literally making a cock cum. You're making a cock cum.
You're gay. You're getting cum on yourself.
We'll get out of our mention. Clean it out of your belly button.
Not if you shoot it right into your mouth, though. Throw the legs up over the top.
Take it right from the tap. There's a couple good ones.
This one is also good. Well, maybe that's an honorable mention.
That's not... That's homosexuality.
We're not picking this one. He said ladyboys.
It's an honorable... I was going to say the country of Thailand.
Okay, I'm going to say the scratch and sniff. Scratching your balls and fucking...
Savoring the fucking nutsack. That's a great one.
Smelling... He wanted to do it.
Yeah. Constantly.
That's the gayest thing ever. Yeah.
There's a soccer coach. After you made the dick cum, now you're going to hold the balls, all that musk and everything.
You cuddle it. You can't get enough of it.
You're cock hungry at this point. The soccer coach from Germany, he was famous for getting caught on the sidelines.
He was like a really well put together guy. Like he'd dress up in suits and stuff on the sidelines.
And then he'd be out there and he'd have his hands down his pants. And you'd catch him doing that.
And then he'd just take a giant whiff of his hand. You all do it.
Do you? It's true. I've done it.
I don't think I've ever. I don't think I notice when I do it though.
I would never do it in like a public situation probably. Well maybe Goonon Fest.
What's Goon Fest? It's our live show on July 16th. You haven't heard? Oh, no, I haven't heard yet.
We're taking everyone's cell phones at the door. Yeah.
Oh, sounds awesome. But yeah, definitely that.
This is going to be a very, it's called Goon Fest. And then you're just driving away with them.
Yeah. We're selling them all.
We're selling them all. That's a good idea.
Yeah, yeah. Like I'm gross enough.
Can I be honest? This is a safe place. Yeah, sure.
I've actually taken my musky underwear off and held them up to my nose while I masturbate. Joey.
That's too honest. Bro, you might be gay.
I might be. Well, let's not jump the gun here.
I take it the extra step. You did take it the extra step.
Hank's like, that sounds fun. It's like normal.
What's wrong with that? Hank's going to try that later. I do like smelling my balls, but that is a little bit.
Who doesn't like smelling my balls? We were on Barstool vs. America.
I think that's what makes it gay. I think it gets gay when you're masturbating smelling your own balls.
Right. You're getting off on the smell.
We were on Barstool vs. America, and I let him use my room to shower, and I literally thought to myself, my underwear is on the ground.
He's going to smell it and he walks back down and he goes, your underwear was on the ground. No, I would take, what's the one I liked? The one who suspended.
Mulcahy. Oh, Billy.
He loves Fasoli. Can you believe that? Oh, really? He's a big, well, that's rude.
I can believe that. He's a very big Fasoli guy.
He obsesses over Fasoli.

That was pretty mean, Pat.

Yeah, that was very...

I love Fasoli, but he's...

I have visions.

I have a fantasy about getting a hairball

and choking to death.

He'll walk by.

He'll just go,

oof, those legs.

Get it?

Big Ed, just a real quick sidebar here.

I know that we said

that we wouldn't talk about him.

What if we just loaned Billy

to out and about for the rest of the month? Oh, that would be a treat would be We do need him for the parade We need him on a jockstrap I would like to see that I would like to see Billy go all in on the pride parade Billy is He's at our table He's warmed up He was an under center quarterback He was a pro style quarterback He went like this Oh? Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Was he? I feel like he went like this. Oh, he might have been shot.
I know. I think he was pistol.
I think he was like curious. Oh, yeah, that's right.
That's curious. Yeah, he was still working things out.
That was an all time clip, by the way, with Big T when he's like, no, I'm not gay, but I am curious. And then you guys just stopped.
You're like, what? Punishing Billy football is gay. You're getting the corner.
No, they're doming him out. They're doming Billy football out.
That's true. You're right.
punishing Billy football is gay If he's never gonna learn if he doesn't oh my god doesn't take his mix All right, hey your last pick our last pick is using an umbrella Mmm. Oh.
Ooh. So you got that from somebody else.

Whoa. Because they tried to give that to us, too.
Oh. I like mine.
Oh, from Bubba? That was Bubba? Yeah. What do you guys think about using an umbrella? I hate getting wet.
I'm like a cat, so I don't think it's gay. Well, I am also gay, so I don't really...
I don't like using it because I don't like the schlep. I don't like carrying it around because I don't like the schlep.
I would rather be wet than walk around with a fucking umbrella. Then you gotta shut it and it's tough to shut it because everything gets wet and everything drips down.
It's the worst. And you're like walking on the sidewalk and you're trying to do the math of if you can fit past somebody while you're holding your umbrella then you raise it half the lower.
Just wear a raincoat. I don't like using an umbrella because guys just try to kiss me all the time.
Right, exactly. When I have it.

We have another one.

Oh, these are honorable mentions.

Yeah, honorable mentions.

Honorable mentions.

Eating dessert.

Using a bidet.

Eating dessert.

Eating dessert.

Very gay.

Yeah, any sweets, any kind of cupcake, any kind of pastry with a whipped cream topping.

Whipped cream is gay.

Whipped cream is very gay.

I'd say treats in general.

Fruit is gay.

Strawberries are gay.

Rim jobs are gay. What about, we were saying eat a hot dog or like a corn dog? Popsicle.
Hot dog, corn dog. Lollipop.
Any salad food? On the left. Leather.
Leather is gay. Leather vests.
Vests. Oh, vests.
Guys in motorcycle clothes. A lot of Wall Street pros are like, what? Jock straps, obviously very nice.
Yeah, jock straps. That was too obvious.
We asked Enrique, and he said jock straps. Enrique was jock straps.
Great list you guys came up with. Well, we didn't use it.
All these were ours. Yeah, we didn't use jock straps.
Oh, yeah. We had that.
We had rim jobs. We had every single part of taking a shit.
Yeah. The pushing out, the cleanup process afterwards, it's pretty sus.
What about dumping, like when a team wins and you dump water on your coach, and it's basically like a wet t-shirt contest. It's see-through, yeah.
No, that's gay. In college, because they can't drink, if they have a big win in basketball, they'll run in there and everyone will just pour water all over each other.
Chest bumps? Yeah, chest obviously. Riding a bike? Riding a horse.
Riding a horse. Riding a cock.
Riding the top. That's another one.
I'm sure we've all been there. Kissing your dad? Yep.
Kissing your dad on the lips? Yeah. Eiffel Towering? Yep.
Your dad kissing me on the lips? Shopping. Shopping is gay.
Boozy brunch is very good. Brunch, yeah.
White wine. Wine is gay.
White wine is so gay. I'll just take a Riesling, please.
Something nice and light. White wine.
The machine at the gym where your legs do this. Oh, the adductor.
They call sus machine. Yeah.
Classical music or any kind of

orchestra music.

Yeah.

The orchestra.

The theater.

The fine arts.

Painting bodies.

Body painting

at like a sports game.

If you go to it as a fan,

you paint your chest.

Yeah,

yeah,

oh yeah.

Or your nipples

as basketballs.

I don't know if you guys

saw that.

Yeah,

you turn your entire

upper body into a badger. Or shaving your chest hair into a shape Yeah There was that one guy last night at the College World Series That did that He shaved like two triangles above his nipples Like a bikini top? Yeah they kept interviewing him about it He's like no I just kind of wanted to do it They're like did you lose a bet? He's like no I just kind of thought it Says it.
Swimming is kind of gay. Ooh.
Swimming is a little bit gay. Okay.
It's just like that. Well, the Speedos.
Yeah, Speedos. Not even the Speedos.
Just like swimming. Like the boys are going swimming.
Like that's gay. Yeah.
Putting on suntan lotion is gay. Putting on suntan lotion is gay.
Wearing sunscreen. That's a fucking great one.
Wearing sunscreen. You think you're tougher than the sun? Yeah.
Accessories are gay. Okay.
If you have too many accessories. Yeah.
How many is too many? Three or four will do the trick. But that actually is funny because I have one Mexican lucky.
Is that a Kabbalah bracelet? No, it's some guy. I bought it from a dude in Mexico said he'd give me gambling luck and it hasn't worked.
What about wearing Band-Aids? Wearing Band-Aids is gay. Because if it's minute enough that a Band-Aid is going to fix it, you're a pussy for wearing a pussy for wearing a little band-aid you know what I mean if it's really fucked up you're going to have a fucking cast on or a fucking you know a tarp aloe vera you should die if you're going to get cut a band-aid if you can't handle a band-aid it's somewhere if you need a band-aid just go all the way and die otherwise what's the point small tattoos are gay oh how small little tattoos this one right here He's got a cross A guy with a regular size arm And just a small one here Or like You know what I mean You know why he's got Little tattoos Did he tell you the story About why he got a Buck hunter A ten point deer on him Why So you can attract hunters In the bar So they can come up to me And then start talking to me About things Like oh yeah yeah My uncle's yeah, yeah, my uncle's a hunter.
And then, you know, next thing you know, I'm getting railed behind the Pizza Hut-Domino's combo. The ambitious crossover.
Yeah. Pizza Hut-Domino's combo.
Crips and the Bloodstine, they're bandanas together. Yeah.
How small of a tattoo? Like one that's on your finger? No, just like... What about the ones where you do like this?

Yeah, like on the side.

That's what I'm saying.

On the side of your finger.

No, I think it's like small tattoos in a large area.

What about a thigh tattoo?

Yeah, what's it said?

It's like a fish.

Of what?

Just a fish.

What if you have a fish?

Like the fish you used to draw in high school?

A fish named Larry.

A pretty gorgeous goldfish.

Yeah.

A goldfish is gay.

Like a brook trout?

No.

No, a trouser trout is also gay.

Yeah.

Well, so back to accessories.

I feel like you're right, but if you go over the top with it, if you have like nine wristbands,

then you're Lenny Kravitz and you're the straightest man of all time.

Yeah, but it depends on the type of accessory.

A thin, like the thickness of the bracelet matters. If it's like a bunch of beads and you have like 10 of them, you're Lenny Kravitz and you're the straightest man of all time.
Yeah, but it depends on the type of accessory. A thin, like, the thickness of the bracelet matters.
If it's, like, a bunch of beads and you have, like, ten of them, you're gay. Like, you're gay.
You know what I mean? It all matters on how you accessorate. I do, Trump.
Conditioning your hair. Yes.
Yeah. Body lotion.
Equinox is gay. Yeah, it is.
Equinox is gay. I feel bad for the girls who go in girls who go in there No one's looking at those pigs We were talking to Nick on the way in He said confidence in general Being like yeah I feel good about myself I look good Look how I look in these clothes I look awesome You're looking at yourself and getting turned on.
Mirrors, so that makes mirrors gay. Yeah, mirrors are gay.

Laying your outfit on the bed is gay.

Making the bed is gay.

Making the bed every morning.

Making the bed is gayer than double penetration.

Uh-huh.

Fresh flowers are gay.

Yep.

If you brought flowers in the house, anything scented candles are gay.

I could go on for days. Yeah.

Candles.

I feel like flowers.

Gay stuff everywhere.

Flowers are for everyone.

Flowers are, I think flowers are just like.

I had a bouquet yesterday, bro. Just nice.
Just nice I know he did I love flowers in the house Mom wants a We can bleep that right What about little dogs Yeah It depends It depends on how you interact with it Okay Talking to your little dog Talking like, that can make it gay. To a small, small dog.
Actually, you know, I think dogs might be off limits. Yeah? To be honest.
I don't think little dogs are gay. Okay.
Unless it's a gay guy holding it. Right.
Giant dogs. No.
Tanning beds? I've never been in a tanning bed. I would say like just...
I'm too straight. Just like laying out.
No, I've never been in a tanning bed. I have a natural, beautiful olive skin.
Yeah. As you see on display'm too straight Just like laying out No I've never been In a tanning bed I have a natural Beautiful olive skin As you see On display right now Just like laying out Anytime a guy lays out Somewhere Yeah So the beach is gay If it's outside Yeah the beach is gay Lakes are gay Water is gay Water is gay I'm so tickled Are hot tubs gay? Oh hot tubs Hot tubs are gay Hot tubs I was on a bachelor party In Vermont I was sitting in a hot tub with six of my friends, and we were like, this is kind of gay.
Yeah. And I was like, no, we can stay.
It's fine. Steamer Monsonnas.
Steamer Monsonnas. Oh, yeah.
Very good. Think about water, though.
Every time you're around water, you're either laying out, displaying your body next to it, or you're splashing other people with it. You're playing in it, or you're just pouring it down your throat.
I'm done with water, I think. I just want to keep going and just have it be everything.
Showering at the beach? Showering off the sand at the beach? Showering in general? This microphone? Yeah. Yeah.
Are flip-flops gay? Flip-flops are gay. Open-toed shoes, for men? Thongs are gay.
Thongs are gay, yeah. I think we covered everything.
Yeah, this has been great. And there are definitely going to be some people having to look themselves in the mirror, which will be gay, and be like, whoa, I just listened to part of my take today, and I got to reassess.
We're groomers. Yeah.
We're grooming. I'm done with football.
Grooming is gay. We invented grooming.
All right. Well, thank you, guys.
Thank you for having us again. Out and about.
Subscribe. What do you got coming up? Is there like a, after Pride Month, is there like a hangover where it's like, well, that was a lot? Well, we have our live show coming up on July 16th.
Okay. To answer your question, yes.
What are you laughing at? I look at Hank. I was after Pride and go, we think Hank's going to fire us after Pride.
Oh! He called the meeting on July 1st. On July 1st.
The day Pride Month ends. It gets thrown on our schedule.
Joey calls me in a panic at 10 at night. He's going, this is it.
It's over. We think we're getting let go.
On July 1st. That'd be so mean.
You find the tickets on Barstool Sports, live events. It's going to be me and Joey.
It's at Sony Hall in New York City. Cool venue.
Awesome venue. Great Times Square.
Are they on sale? They're on sale right now. I love it.
That's awesome. So everyone go out there.

It's going to be a great night. Who's special guests?

Not yet. Possibly

you. Possibly you.

Possibly you.

Well, Billy Phil will be handing out paper towels in the men's room.

Oh, oh!

Getting the

guy in the bathroom washing your hands for you and giving you the paper towels

gay. Taking a paper towel from a guy

in the bathroom is gay. The mints from any the paper towel is gay.
Taking a paper towel from a guy in the bathroom is gay.

The mints from any sort of toiletries are gay.

Yes.

Yes.

Jitty bags are gay too.

That's the last one.

But we'll see you there.

Sony Hall, July 16th.

All right.

So check it out.

Where can they buy it?

Live event?

You can go to

barstool sports.com

slash events slash

out and about.

I love it.

About seatbelts.

Yeah.

Buckling up.

Safety. In the backseat.
Safety's gay. Safety sure for sure for sure all right well thank you joey pat out and about check it out go to their live show it's going to be fantastic uh you guys i feel like you guys are a shooting star like not in it that's going to keep shooting thank you because i know shooting stars eventually fade out i don't know if that.
Yeah, no, I... Rocket ship.
You guys are rocket ship. Thank you.
Not the challenger. Not the challenger.
R.I.P. Yeah.
Chris McAuliffe shared the same last name. Rocket ships kind of...
Rocket ships are good. Space travel.
Yeah. Space travel is gay.
One more. I just...
Now I'm thinking magic. Magic is good.
Oh! Magic is good. Magic is so...
Good call. Good call.
Like a magician in a restaurant. The ones that throw the bubble up and it becomes...
Rocket ships. They are so...
Missiles. Guns.
Missiles. Guns are pretty gay.
It's just like bullets. You're shooting sperm, basically.
Then I was thinking Navy, and then I'm going ships. Ships are gay.
I forgot about fucking the military. It's the gayest thing in the world.
All right. Thank you, guys.
Thank you. Thanks.
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That's HelloFresh.com slash PMT16 and use code PMT16 for up to 16 free meals and three free gifts. Okay, let's wrap up with Fyre Fest of the Week.
By the way, Monday we have Biz and wit together in studio with a mount rushmore in an interview and wednesday i know people have been asking i apologize taking a little bit of time uh but we had the nba draft this week wednesday max verstappen and sergio perez awesome interview with them uh hank fire fest yep fire fest uh i've been playing golf back on got the itch again that time of year oh yeah trying to get a handicap going what'd you shoot nice catch i shot a 53 i went out with our darling jake marsh we play a little little match he 53 is not bad it's pretty bad and jake beat me by like six nine. Oh.
Oh. I think you shot a 53 on 18 holes.
But you were probably drunk, right? You were just, like, casually golfing? Early in the morning, 7 o'clock. You really are an executive.
Just getting those early golf rounds in. I know, but, like, I got to be – I can't be on the course with other executives.
Yeah, it's true. Swimming like that, losing to Jake.
Well, Jake is the best in the office is it is it nice that like you know you you've had a quite a hot run the last month is it nice to know that no matter what like jake is always here to humble you celtic no yeah i would have preferred that to no but no no but you humble i'm down to go back to the way things were yeah no on the rise of on the rise up nah but jake is you know he's just there did any time you need a humble pie you could just get a slice at jake's house yeah seriously and he just does it with kindness yeah jake i talked to jake as well he said that um he he thought he played terrible and he still beat you by six strokes that's what he said you you did say that you played poorly i said i played all right i had I had some good pulls and I had some bad pulls And he beat you by six strokes Was there any trash talk going back and forth Between you guys No I couldn't even I didn't have a chance I obviously was ready to Jake never did You had some lines ready Well yeah I don't know I like to chirp a little bit What was the the conversation like? We were playing with two, a dude from England, a dude from Scotland. Shout out to them.
Pleasant conversation. You guys couldn't play just two of you? No, foursome.
Yeah. Poked at two times.
Did those guys play well? No. Jake beat them all? No, one of them was probably.
Yeah, I think they both shot like 48. Yeah, so Jake beat them all.
That's my boy. Good job, Jake.
Fuck yes. Just beating strangers off the street.
Those guys flew over here from Scotland to get their ass kicked by Jake. To get fucking smoked by Jake.
To have Jake just shove a putter up their asses. Yeah, they're going to go back.
They're like, how was your trip? It's like, well, it was great except for this one guy who just fucked us up on the golf course. He brought a friend, though, that was so bad we thought he'd never played golf before.
No, it's fun. We've got to do a group outing soon.
Okay. Cool.
I'm in. Yeah.
Sweet. Sure.
So for us to watch you beat, Hank? No, you force him. The gallery.
Okay. Yeah, yeah.
We'll beat the gallery. Yeah, yeah.
Okay. We can do that.
We'll do anything you guys want. Great.
Yeah. Sounds fun.
You're the boss. All right.
PFT, your fire fest. My fire fest, it's kind of a group fire fest, but also for me in particular.
Yeah, that's the move now. You and Big Cat teaming up.
Shut the fuck up, Hank. Jesus Christ.
My fire fest is I have to look at Hank all day. Hank was downstairs on the second floor all day today just hovering.
You got mad at me for not hanging out. Just hovering around.
Oh, Hank came in today at the usual hour that executives come in at 1130. And he comes in with sunburn.
I was up on the third floor, and he thought he saw a ghost. He was like, what are you doing up here? Get out of is my like world's colliding he doesn't we should go up there and just start mixing it up up there to see what hank's like rep is claim a desk yeah claim a desk up there but my my actual fire fest in addition to dealing with hank is that um i think we're addicted to suspending people so we we sussied someone and then we sussied brooks appeal.
Today I sussied Avery because he's been hanging on to the science fair video for like a week and a half, and he just won't release it. He's hoarding all the footage to himself, so I had to sussy him too.
And I just feel like this is one of those things. How's he going to release it if you sussied him? Well, maybe I'll – It's gone forever.
Pending appeal. I'll allow him to make an appeal to me.
Appeals are big. Yeah, but I feel like this is just something that we're going to be doing all the time.
Oh, yeah. It's just suspending people.
We're drunk with power. Oh, yeah.
I can see how Roger Goodell loves it so very deeply. Yes.
Because I kind of find myself... What's that saying? Like, absolute power corrupts absolutely? Mm-hmm.
I'm a million percent. I would be the worst king.
I would be the mad king. Yeah.
I would just destroy everyone everyone so never give me an inch of power because I will abuse it um so I'm looking forward to to seeing how we overdo this one until it bites us in the ass yeah and then we learn our lesson because it's happening at some point yeah mine's similar that like um so my firefest is we've had barceladal this week I think it's gone very very well we're hiring a new colleague uh pFT had a vote on Wednesday night. I have to vote tonight, so you're going to know by the time you listen to this.
But I've quickly realized that voting on people's future is the worst. It's not funny.
I hate so much having to be like, oh, you're funny. You're not funny.
Oh, I'm going to give you a dream job. Oh, I'm not.
It's just the stress of this week has eaten me alive where I'm having fun, but at night I lay down and I'm like, fuck, am I making the wrong decision? Just making decisions in general sucks. And even sometimes if it's a guy that you vote for, then they'll end up getting dementia and falling off a bike and ruining everything.
And then you're like, oh, shit, what did I do? Did you have dementia before or did the concussion cause the dementia? Both. Concussion on dementia feels like a really bad thing.
Or it might just make you, it might just eliminate the effects of the dementia. That's true.
Knock it out of your brain. There you go.
Old school, like 80s football. Knock the cobwebs off.
Yeah. He's ready to go now.
He's ready to play. Joe Biden ise's gonna be sharp as attack uh but yeah 16 dimensional chess against putin making decisions sucks it sucks it just sucks sucks sucks so um yeah it's been a great week of barcelotto but yeah i'm i'm happy to see it go because i do not take pleasure in like deciding the fate of other people yeah it's it's a lot of it's responsibility but it's like real world impacting people's futures responsibility yeah like knowing that you are actually could impact someone's like the the trajectory of their life is just a terrible feeling to have that's why you got to take it not seriously at all and just like right in sanjaya every time yeah right we need a sanjaya gate uh all right jake wrap us Yeah, so another golf fire fest from last week.
I was on the third hole and I couldn't find my sand wedge. Left it on the first green.
Had to turn around. Slowed down everything.
Wait, you beat him by six strokes without a sand wedge? No, this was last week. What did you beat him last week? We didn't play last week.
What did you shoot last week? 95 Would you shoot last week, Hank? About 95. Wow.
So you beat him without. You probably weren't even in a bunker, though.
Yeah. No, I was in a bunker.
You know who else was in a bunker? President. Yeah, sure.
Yeah. Yep.
Something like that. You nailed it.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. That is a fire first.
Yeah. So it was tough.
I just don't ever go back. You need your sandwich.
No, I just leave it. Yeah.
And then I just stopped golfing and then don't golf again for five years. If it's enough holes behind, you just say, fuck it.
Like it belongs to the course. Yeah.
Yeah. Just slowly whittle it down.
I would love to, that would be the best to be one of those golfers that has like golf with like three clubs. Yeah.
I've actually thought about that. I don't think that I would be significantly worse at golf if I only had a driver, a seven iron, and a putter.
On Wii Sports, they have that. That's your only options.
Those three? It's driver, iron, and putter. Yeah, that's all that I need.
I don't think I would shave any strokes off my game by incorporating irons three through six. Why haven't they made a golf club where it's like, you know those weights that you can put the key in and it's like a five pound, then you can make it a 10 pound? Why haven't they made that? They have.
Interchanged the club. They have.
They have? There's one of those out there. It's got to be so bad.
Oh, it's awful. Yeah, I want to use that.
It's really bad. That's all I want.
Just got there with one club. Yeah, just carrying it.
It's my Swiss army knife. Yeah, just switching it.
It's just super heavy. Yeah, I'm in for that.
Yeah. Someone make a super, like a, I don't know, what would the.
I think the problem was it was too. How do they do it? It was too heavy because you have all those.
Yeah. You have to have a joint in it.
You need to be like Kevlar or something. You have to have a joint in it that switches the angle, and then you also have to be able to use it as a driver.
No, wait. Kevlar is heavy.
What is the thing that they use for, like, kayaks and shit? Is it, like, carbon fiber? Yeah, that's it. That's what I'm talking about.
We need carbon fiber clubs all in one. That's a genius idea.
There's also a wedge in Wii Sports, correcting myself. Oh, wow.
Wow. You're suspended.
I was going to get, like, five to ten tweets being like, you're wrong. And what would you have done?

Your life would have been over.

Yeah.

I'm issuing you a 30-second suspension from the podcast.

Pending appeal.

All right, let's go numbers.

Granted.

Numbers.

Everyone have a great weekend.

31.

Someone told me that 31 is coming on Friday.

So I'm going to say it. 13, 6.

69.

25.

This guy was right about 31. 49.
No one has hit it in a long time. Third time.
It's been, yeah, it's a real dry spot here for us. Well, for Hank, he hasn't hit it at all.
Ever? Nope, I'm a virgin. Koala fingerprints are so close to humans that they could taint crime scenes.

Love you guys.

Love you guys. I'm going to stress you.
I'm going to stress you. Don't you take me out.
I'll be gone. Let me want you.
Don't you take me out I need you to see you Nothing won't be Talking away I don't know what I'm about to say I'd say it anyway Today is another day to find you Shying away I'll be coming for your love again Shying away I'll be coming for your love again Needless to say I'll just send hands But I'll feed some little weight Slowly learning that life is okay Stay out to me It's for better to be safe than sorry Stay out to me It's for better to be safe than sorry. Stay off me.
It's the better to be safe than sorry. Don't call me.
Take me off. I'll be gone.