Tennis Pro Genie Bouchard, Hot Seat/Cool Throne, Billy's 1 Rep Max And Guys On Guys

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I mean, where else can you pair wall-to-wall hoops with hard-to-find whiskey? Only at Twin Peaks, the number one sports bar. On today's part in my take, we have tennis pro Jeannie Bouchard.
First time we've ever had a tennis player on the show. Great interview in person, in the studio.
Awesome time. We also have our good friends Pat and Joey from the Out and About podcast.
Our colleagues on for the first ever guys on guys we're going to talk a little nba playoffs we're going to also see billy try to hit his one rep max live on the show go watch it on the part of my take youtube as well and hot seat cool throne ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working? Nah, neither has Ariat.

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The Warriors are back, but we also should make jokes about being high if you want to do that.

Oh, I thought you were going to say something about the H-man's birthday.

But, yeah, I'm not a drug guy.

Have not partaken today.

Might partake later on this afternoon.

But I feel like it's when people go to the bar on, like, St. Patrick's Day and all the old drunks in the corner, like, this is a day for amateurs.

I'm a professional.

You know, like, 420 is the day when real stoners real real ganja heads out there they're like not for me it's legal everywhere so it doesn't it's completely lost the allure from 15 years ago when it was like oh this is kind of cool and they show the video from Boulder where they were just billowing clouds coming up but yeah I'm looking forward to the early morning text that we'll get from Chris Long just saying happy holidays. Yeah, he'll be like, hey, guys, we made another trip around the sun.
Happy birthday to all of us. That's what he sends us every 420.
But, yes, the Warriors are back. I'd say that's the lead story.
The Warriors are back. Maybe not for long because I just placed a future on them, but the Warriors are back.
Yeah, I think we called that, right? Like, we're the Warriors podcast. Nobody out there believes in the Warriors anymore.
They all forgot about the Warriors, and they very quickly turned into the Warriors that we all know and love. It was the third quarter Warriors.
That's what we've always said about the team, but actually last night's third quarter Warriors, that was the best third quarter Warriors of all time. They were awesome.
They were incredible. It was some run where they scored, I think it was like 70 points in 19 minutes or something.
Or maybe it was even more. It was crazy.
We should note, by the way, Hank and I are in Chicago for the dozen trivia. So we are not going to record after the games tonight.
We'll be back to regularly recording after the games on Thursday. So we're going to talk mostly Monday games.
We've got some great interviews for you. But, yeah, you're right, PFT.
That was insane what they did, what they put on. I do want to just – because we have at times flirted with being a Nuggets podcast, and I want to say something for the Nuggets fans out there because they're going through it.
It sucks. Everyone's bashing Jokic because he's not been good in this series, but he also has no one on his team, and everyone's trying to take away his MVP case for this year.
So I went and looked back because I was just curious because the MVP is a regular season award.

How many times do you think in the last 20 years the MVP in the NBA has won the title?

It's like never, right?

So it happened four times, twice by LeBron, Steph Curry, and then Tim Duncan in the 2003, 2002-2003.

Now how many times has the MVP lost in the first or second round of the playoffs in the season they've won it? I think, wait, they've lost in the first or second round of the playoffs in their MVP season. I think it's a lot.
I think it's probably like 12 times. It's seven times that that's happened and obviously their guys have gotten to the Western Eastern Conference Finals.
But my point being is that it's a regular season award, and a lot of times the MVP of the season is the MVP because he dragged a team that probably shouldn't have been where they were in the playoffs to the playoffs, and then they get there. And much like what's happening right now with the Nuggets, the Warriors are like, oh, you got one guy? Okay, that's not hard to stop in the NBA playoffs, and you get this.
And it's like Dirk lost in the first round. Remember that year where he lost to the Warriors? You had James Harden losing in the second round, Russell Westbrook losing in the first round.
So my long point here is I'm not taking away from the Nuggets or Jokic. The Warriors are just really good.
And you can win an MVP, which he probably will, his back-to-back MVP. And that doesn't mean that you have the best team because that's just not what the award is.
Yeah, and I think that Dirk's series, they were the number one seed overall, right? And they were playing against the eight seed Warriors. So I agree with you.

I had the take that I thought the Nuggets could make some noise this season,

which I'm not going to back off of because I think I was right in a sense,

but here's what I was right about.

The team, when they're healthy, I think is still a legitimate title contender.

So they're obviously missing Jamal Murray. They're missing Porter.
And Jamal Murray just came out today and said, I think he tweeted, y'all don't think I want to be out here. So like everybody that's saying Jamal Murray is the reason why he's not playing, he's saying, no, it's the team.
I actually think what the Nuggets are doing, this is right now, this is the season before the season. So this postseason is, they kind of intentionally fucked up their team by keeping two of their star players out.
People are going to forget about the Nuggets. They brought in Boogie.
There's no better way to create just like a complete disaster than having Boogie Cousins on your team. So what they're going to do is after this season's over, after this offseason's over, they're probably going to get swept by the Warriors, maybe steal a game.
But they're going to get rid of Boogie Cousins. they're going to do is after this season's over after this offseason they're probably going to get swept by the Warriors maybe steal a game but they're going to get rid of Boogie Cousins they're going to bring back the two of their three best players and then they're going to be like thank God Boogie's not here now we're all ready to go from day one as a team I think next season's Nuggets the day that that the NBA Finals are over I'm going to put a big future on next year's Nuggets it's the season the season well so I'm with you in everything you said except for the fact that like banking on Michael Porter Jr.
being healthy is you just can't ever do that because he was he had back surgery in college and it's always like that's no knock on him it's just hard for him to stay on the court but yeah they're done now if done now. If you saw the postgame, all the quotes were like, we got to stay together.
We can't let our folk – like, we have to stick together as a team. We got to dig deep and find out if we're guys that fight through things like this.
Just basically the last gasp of a team that knows it's absolutely screwed because the Warriors are back. And then the other big story from Monday night and these playoffs

is the Sixers look awesome.

And Tyrese Maxey has basically made everyone in Philadelphia forget

who Ben Simmons was and is.

And I have to ask, I have to kick it to our resident Philly lover in Henry Lockwood, are you a little scared? I'm not a little scared. I'm also just focused on the nets.
You can only worry about the opponent in front of you and if we were to play the Sixers, it wouldn't be for a while. And I also have some Philly love coming up from myself later on in Hot Seed Cool oh nice but yeah that was we joked like the

Heat were the most disrespected one

seed and the Sixers felt like the team

that everyone was picking against and

they've two games

series isn't over but those

are two very strong statements

on the level

they're playing at versus the Raptors

and Joel Embiid

just he goes nuclear in these

little spurts I think he had

was it like 19 points in the first half

Thank you. they're playing at versus the Raptors.
And Joel Embiid, he goes nuclear in these little spurts. I think he had, what is it, like 19 points in the first half last night? Like 20 in the first quarter.
He's dominant when he wants to be. And I don't think that he takes plays off.
I don't think that when he doesn't want to be, it's not because he lacks any motivation. I think he just gets tired.
Imagine just the size of him, the amount of effort that he has to put forth to be dominant. It's got to be exhausting just to walk around.
I think if I was Joel Embiid's size, this is why I'm short, but if I was his size and I was walking just down the street to work, I would just need to take a nap. No, I mean, it's often said when it comes to the NBA, like big men don't usually love basketball because it's very arduous for them.
I mean, would you? I'm not saying Joel Embiid doesn't love basketball. I think he clearly does.
But you see it often where big men are out there and their job is to just go and bang bodies for 45 minutes a night, run up and down, and also be freakishly big with huge joints, and it's got to suck. But he is like, when he wants to dominate, he dominates more than anyone right now in the NBA.
Man, it might be a hot take. I'm trying to think.
I'm going through it, going through it. Kyrie, when do you want to dominate? No, I feel confident.
I feel confident when I'm saying if Embiid wants... There's less of an answer for Joel Embiid when he wants to dominate than anyone else at this current moment in the NBA.
So he should be the MVP. Yeah, there we go.
And he should be the MVP because Jokic is about to get swept. Fucking bum.
Yeah, I'm disappointed that we're not going to get to drop any more big quesadrino memes this offseason.

Yeah, and we also had the Mavs Jazz Series, which you can just tell the hierarchy when they throw that series on NBA TV.

And you're like, oh, okay, yep, makes sense.

We know where everything stands here.

And that's no slight against the Mavs because if Luka was playing, it probably would be but I'm I'm staying firm I've heard a little bit of pushback from some jazz fans I'm staying firm I just want this team out of my face and you should too because they don't like each other and I don't know if you saw Quinn Snyder after but Quinn Snyder looks like a dude like five years from the future who's lost all his money on NFTs he's just just wears all black to all his press conferences he's still got like kind of a young stylish look but he's got big bags under his eyes and he just looks like at one second he's going to be like yeah we don't have an answer for jalen brunson and the next he's going to be like yeah i sunk all my money into bored apes and it didn't work out i actually think he looks like a dude from the past i think he looks like a sweaty sales time travel like a guy from he he's the fixer that you see behind the scenes in like madmen anytime any of those guys gets arrested for like sexual assault he goes and shows up with a case of money and bails out of jail he's just he's also he's also the maybe the most consistent sweater that i've seen in the n. He's not a big sweater in terms of he doesn't sweat really through his suits that much, like you see with a Sean Miller, but he's always glistening.
And he always has that dapper hairstyle that looks like he's... I don't know, he looks like the first jazz musician that discovered heroin.
Yeah,ve lavin had that look remember steve lavin had that look yeah just that slick back where it's like i don't know if you're greasy or you're really well put together just

always on that line i think they should allow quinn snyder to smoke cigarettes on the sideline

i think that would look good for him i would agree with that he strikes me as someone who might

offer you a clove though you're like really bro what they taste better no it crackles when you

Yes, though. You'd be like, really, bro? What, they taste better? No, it crackles when you smoke it in.
It's so sick. All right, so should we do predictions for tonight's game? Because we're not recapping.
Again, Thursday we'll be back. It's the regular scheduled program.
Just a weird night because we have trivia. So let's do a prediction.
You want to do a prediction for tonight's games all right we'll sound stupid go ahead hank heat timberwolves pelicans oh did you see the chris ball stat no oh yeah chris paul by the way sunday night we we joke about chris paul because we we like to go after our good friend ryan rusillo who he he said i think his exact quote about chris Chris Paul's performance on Sunday night he was like everything that I do in my life um you know watch too much NBA don't have kids don't have like a wife don't have all these other things and I just sit in in as a recluse and watch NBA it was all validated by Chris Paul's performance on Sunday night.

So he's good.

He's in a good mental spot right now.

That's awesome.

That's great to hear.

I did see that stat.

Are you talking about the Scott Foster stat? What is it?

12 straight playoff losses for Chris Paul and Scott Foster referees.

Oh, man.

That dribble move he did was so sick where he was just toying with the Pelicans. I watched it so many times I couldn't really fully figure out what exactly he was doing.
And it had everyone stunned, and he was incredible. I mean, I still put a future on the Warriors.
I'm Dubs Nation because I think Chris Paul will eventually get hurt. But let's at least mention the fact that he was incredible on Sunday night.
This is going to be the ultimate test of the Scott Foster trend because there's no chance, there's no way in hell that the Suns should lose to the Pelicans after what we've seen from both these teams. There's no way that it happens, right, Hank? No, I'm saying it's going to happen.
All right, so I'll take the Pelicans on the spread, but I'm not going to take them straight up. I like the Pelicans.
I think the Heat and I do think the Grizzlies will bounce back, make it 1-1. I like the Heat also.
I'm going to stick with the Wolves. I like these Wolves.
I'll do it too. Fuck it.
I'm sticking with the Wolves. Wolf Nation, baby.
All right. It's going to be a Wolferade.
I'm Wolvesing it. Yeah, you're right.
No reason. You know what I i did right there that's when uh when an underdog wins game one and you just sort of like assume like ah you know what it will even out game two no fuck that wolves are gonna well raised by wolves raised by wolves let's go it's gonna be in memphis there's probably not gonna be another protester maybe i think if there's a protester i think that there should be one.
Because if you're a Minnesota fan and you've seen the last two games get infiltrated by protesters, you've got a winning streak going during protester games. You have to.
You've got to just find something new. Like, I'm sure that the owner of the Wolves has killed another bird since the last game.
Let's make it happen. Stick with the trend.
Did you guys see the video that john moran posted on instagram though to hype no he posted the mj clip about losing one game oh no i gotta watch this this is gonna decide it's from the last dance just search john moran mj on twitter and it comes up it's got a hundred thousand likes i don't know how i feel about that though i like john moran Morant, but I don't think if you're John Morant,

you can be just out there posting MJ clips and being like,

this is so me right now.

It's just him holding the baseball bat.

All right, hold on.

Yeah, I don't like that.

I think you have to wait.

You have to let the team account post that for you,

or you have to have one of your teammates post that about you.

I don't think you can be like, man, I'mj but remember the the number one uh hype video of himself guy has a few rings julian edelman so you don't know right but but julian edelman's not out there being like look at me i'm i'm waiting where is it i don't see it he's letting other people i don't see it i don't see Instagram right now, but if you search on Twitter, it's like a viral video. It has 1.8 million views.
And it was posted by him? I mean, this screenshot says it was. It has 100,000.
It says Ja posting this on Instagram. Oh, no.
So if he deleted now, it's definitely the T-Wolves. So it was either deleted or- Yeah, that's even worse.
Oh, no. It wasn't deleted.
It's the second swipe on his second most recent Instagram. Oh, wow.
So he kind of hit it. I would say that's even worse than deleting it, putting it as the second swipe.
So you see the one where it says Morant on the white jersey? Swipe, and it's there. The second swipe is always where you bury the bad shit.
I feel like this is – that's – I like the fact that he's trying to motivate himself. But, like, that clip of MJ, he'd already – you know what I mean? There's a little different between Ja Morant in his current state in his career year three versus that clip of MJ.
So, hmm. The quote from MJ, so what?

We lost one game.

Well, it'll be a dogfight tomorrow, but that's all right.

Let's see if all that trash talking starts when it's 0-0 instead of a 5-6 point lead.

That's where it starts.

That's the sign of a good man.

If you can talk shit when it's an even score or when you're behind score.

When you're ahead, it's easy to talk.

T-Wolves.

This is going to blow up in our face.

That was MJ's words.

I guess that's pumping them up.

This is going to blow up in our face.

Grizz Nation is going to be very mad at us.

That's okay.

And we made our pick.

Thank you. This is going to blow up in our face.
That was MJ's words. I guess that's pumping them up.
This is going to blow up in our face. Grizz Nation is going to be very mad at us.
That's okay. And we made our pick.
That's all right. You watched The Last Dance.
I still like the Grizzlies. I might take the Grizzlies game three.
You just can't. We can't go against what our heart is saying, and that's the Timberwolves are very, very fun, and the fact that there's been a protester at all their games is also very fun they're a great story right now oh also have we not talked about this yet anthony edwards he named he named his dog anthony edwards jr that's an awesome move i love that i bet i actually met a guy uh one of fight's friends that came to the beach house this summer.
His name's Mikey. He's got a dog named Mikey Jr., and it was the best combination of all time.

Like, you can't hate on a guy and a dog that has the same name.

Yeah, no, I think that's great.

I absolutely agree.

It also reminded me of our boss, Dave, bet on the Cubs the other day because Mark Leiter Jr.

was on the mound, and he thought it was Al Leiter Jr.'s son.

Oh, wow. I can't believe White Sox did that.
No. Dave Portnoy.
Oh, okay. But he tweeted, he was just like, Mark Leiter Jr.
isn't Al Leiter Jr.'s son? Yeah. No.
All right. Hand up.
When I drafted Raul Mondesi, Aldoberto Mondesi last year, I thought it was the same Raul Mondesi as I watched in 1993. Yeah.
Why not? Legends never die. One last thing before we get to Hot Seat Cool Throne.
Kyrie got fined $50,000, and I thought Kevin Durant's statement on it was incredible. Kevin Durant, I don't think I've ever switched from not liking an athlete

to loving an athlete harder than I have with Kevin Durant.

It's crazy.

So his, I don't know if you saw his statement, but he essentially was like

the reason why Boston fans are feeling this way and are so vocal about it

is because they once loved Kyrie and then he left.

And that's what happens with fans. Like when I left OK OKC the same fans that were rooting for me one day were calling me soft and cupcake the next and that's just part of sports and you can't get upset about it you can't you can't take that personally I was like holy shit Kevin Durant like you're right yeah no no he's a million percent right there are two reasons why fans end up hating a player from another team.
One is if they just kick the shit out of you constantly, like absolutely destroy you and your soul and own you repeatedly and repeatedly and repeatedly again and again on national television. All right, you're going too specific.
It's too specific now. Derek Jeter.
I was talking about Derek Jeter and then Boston. That's why Red Sox fans hated Jets.
And then if a player that you used to love turns his back on you.

I think that's a legitimate reason.

Kevin Durant's sneaky is like a pretty good psychiatrist

and just tapped into the emotions of sports fans.

Stomped on Lucky, bro.

If you're Kyrie, 50 years.

You're going to get the smoke brought to you.

And he even said, too, he was talking about Kyrie,

like his gestures to the fans and everything.

He's like,

Thank you. And he even said, too, he was talking about Kyrie, like his gestures to the fans and everything.
He's like, some days he might be into it. Some days he's not.
Like, this is – I don't know. I just thought it was very interesting, Kevin Durant, just being like, we're human.
Just because next – you know, game two happens, if he's not the same type of back and forth with fans, it doesn't really mean that he he's lost intensity or anything it's just some days it hits you a different way and you respond a different way kevin durant fucking smartest athlete of all time yeah the ecosystem of sports isn't just always as simple as like a guy being like i paid money for the ticket so i get to yell at you or then the other player being like just because you paid money for a ticket doesn't mean that you can yell at me. It's not that simple.
It's like there are actual complex emotional relationships that fans have with their teams, with their opponents, with former players, with current players. And it goes back from the player to the fans as well.
Like, sports is... Kevin Durant actually beautifully summed that up in a way that I think not many people have thought of.
But I also think that Kyrie Irving would be like $50,000 to flip off all the Celtics fans like three times. Yeah, that's easy.
Well worth the price of admission right there. I love this rivalry going back and forth.
Hank, do you think that he should have been suspended? Wait, let me just one last thing because Kevin Durant's last statement on it was like perfect. He said, it's rooted in love.
They once loved you once cheered for you and brought your and bought your merchandise had life-altering experiences

coming to games watching you play sometimes it gets a little dark and deep but that's just how

the human brain works we understand all that and the fans understand where we come from too

because we have our own platforms and speak on stuff like this it's healthy once everyone

understands both sides that's perfectly said once you understand why a fan is mad at a player

Thank you. platforms and speak on stuff like this it's healthy once everyone understands both sides that's perfectly said once you understand why a fan is mad at a player and why a player has a reaction back to the fan it's like this is this is great this is what sports should be so do this is actually how us as guys learn about emotional relationships yeah when a when an athlete explains it to us and we're like, oh shit, yeah, that's why I'm mad.
It's a feeling called jealousy. It is crazy how much I love Kevin Durant now.
If you had told me four years ago, I don't think I've ever switched this much on one player. Who? JJ? No, because JJ, I still could say, sometimes has loser moments.
I don't think Kevin Durant has loser moments anymore. I think he's honestly him all the time.
It's when he lost his burner and was like, here's who I am, everything kind of switched. And he was like, I'm always on.
If I clap back at you, that's what I'm going to do. It makes me feel good.
I don't know. It's just everything changed.
I almost want to start hating on him again just in the hopes that he'll ghost me. That's how good he's been at the internet recently.
I agree with you. We used to call him.
It was mostly you. Oh, don't worry.
Come on. You were part of it, too.
But, yeah, I agree. Kevin Durant's an awesome guy.
Seems like a cool hang. Hank, how many games do you think Kyrie should have been suspended for? He definitely should have been fine more money.
But I saw some people chirping Boston fans because there was a chant at Fenway, like a fuck Kyrie chant, which I loved. To me, that's just a city united.
We're all on the same page. It doesn't matter what sport we're at.
We all know where the goal is, where our hate needs to be directed. I think that's a sign of a great sports town do you think that they should have played a game on monday night like going the the whole patriots day thing you get the daytime red sox game you get the marathon and then you get a night game celtics against kairi that would have been sick yeah i mean i it's all great it's it's sports are the best this is why we This is why we love it.
Billy. So, Hank, you're calling New York a great sports town because they did it with Trey Young first at the Yankees game.
Oh, wow. Got you there.
Oh, that's high praise. That's a sign of a great sports town.
Cats and dogs, get along. New York has great sports fans.
Their teams just suck. That's not their fault.
All right, let's do Hot Seat, Cool Throne, and then we have great interviews coming up. We'll do Jeannie Bouchard first in person, first tennis player we ever had on.
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Hank, you start. Hot seat, cool throat.

My hot seat is the charts, the radio this summer.

Just anyone that likes to listen to music in general.

I think people that go to bars, whatever.

Drake posted a picture with Taylor Swift.

Let's go. There's probably going to be a song coming, which means it's going to get.

It'll probably be a good song, but it will get murdered into the ground and just played in for it everywhere anywhere at all times i love it summer and she's she's a bit old for for his taste but i i do think this is going to be like have we started the most ambitious crossover event of all time maybe if we added a a Rihanna feature on it, it would just be...

That'd be it?

I don't think that's happening.

Okay.

Oh, do they have...

And then just Kodak Black doing the intro.

I think there's...

I don't know if there's Drake and Rihanna, like, beef.

Oh, what about Taylor and Kanye?

Possibly.

That would be...

That would be the most ambitious crossover.

Yes, ever.

That actually would be an ambitious crossover.

That would be incredible. And then your cool throne? My cool throne is Meek Mill.
Talking about great sports fans, city of Philadelphia. I obviously have well-documented my hate towards Philadelphia and their fans, but I do like Meek Mill.
I've always liked his music. There's an old video of him doing the in the tunnel before the game.
It looks fake. There's like one of those trampolines that the cheerleaders use, and he runs full speeds, jumps, does a front flip, and lands on his feet.
And everyone just kind of starts clapping. And he did it again last night, which just reinforced, obviously, it was never fake.
It's just a hilarious video. Like, he just, he's good at doing flips.
Yeah, he's really good at doing flips. And it's just – it's surprising.
It's surprising for – it's a surprising thing to do. It's a surprising thing to see.
It makes me laugh every time. So that was – you know, shout-out to Meek Mill.
Shout-out to Philly fans. I hope they advance this round just so he does it again.
Yeah. It is very fun.
It's hilarious. i like any stadium that has like a pre-game ritual in it i know up in seattle they have somebody raise the 12 flag in philadelphia they have somebody like bang the liberty bell they've got that guy at texas tech that jacks off into that metal thing on the sidelines or whatever uh i i love i love when people do are one of the stadiums has somebody like that cranks a s, like an alarm that goes off.
I'm a big-time sucker for those. The horn in Minnesota? Yeah, blowing the bugle horn.
The big drum in Kansas City? Yeah, those are great. Those are all great.
Yeah. If I was designing a team from scratch, you better believe, day one I'm having some bizarre pregame ritual where I can bring in the local the local celebrities uh that get the crowd going yeah that's awesome all right pft your hot seat cool throne okay my hot seat is billy football billy is uh on the hot seat for something that happened today you guys are in chicago so you missed out on it a little bit billy's ice dogs he's not happy what happened well was, I'll try to walk you guys through it and you'll see some of this on stool scenes and the whole nine yards because it was documented.
Billy has done a great job of being a personal trainer to me and really a mentor and a nutritionist over the course of the last four months. He's getting me the supplements.
He's worked out with me here in the studio. And today I told billy i was like hey billy let's go in here and before we do the the uh podcast with the guys in chicago help me see if i can get my one rep max up because i was thinking maybe i could have a put up a good number today so billy grabbed a bunch of people from the office um i was just asking billy to come down here but he picked up like an entire hype squad to come into the studio to hype me up like a great teammate great teammate and so I got all the videos with people doing max outs it's like the whole team you gotta have the whole team around we had everybody we had Kelly Keegs, Fran Coach Duggs, everybody was in the room no one's in the office and so I put up the 225 Felt pretty good about it And then Billy was like Yo Toss all the weight on there Because Billy saw somebody Putting up a one rep max And he was like Wait let him finish Let him finish Let him finish Billy you can respond Because we know that Whatever you say Is not going to be the truth That is the truth So we put all the weight on Which is how much weight approximately And Billy was like 275 Exactly We can make an exact calculation Because they are weights.
So we put all the weight on. Which is how much weight approximately?

275, exactly.

We can make an exact calculation because they are weights.

And so we put 275 pounds on there.

And I was spotting for Billy.

That's a lot of weight.

I don't want Billy to get hurt or worse injured.

And so I'm standing over him, and we lift it up together.

He pulls it down, pushes up, and after he pushes up,

the left arm buckles, and it starts to sink sink and you can see that on the video replay and so i helped him bring it up because i didn't want him to get hurt bring it up to the top and billy gets up he's like did you touch it i was like yeah you were gonna die he's like you fucking stole my max from me and billy stormed out okay he's been freaking out going going up to everybody and telling everybody in the office all afternoon. Wait, this is an easy solution.
Just do it right now, Billy. No, I will do it right now if we get a makeshift clip.
Because what actually happened to it right now is he did his max. I think we should do maxes on Tuesdays.
Then it goes up. I'll do it right now.
That's the easy solution. Let's tie it up with something.
Don't do this. No, no, no.
PFT, do not touch the bar whatsoever. We didn't have the clip.
There isn't a clip on the left side of the bar. So, Jake, what happened? What happened? PFT saved my foot.
If there was no clip, the plate would have fell on my foot. Now I would have had a broken toe.
Because the plate started falling off. Because your arm buckled.
So wait, wait. This is very easy.
Wait, no, Big Cat. So Jake makes a good point.
And also, I don't know if you noticed this. Memes has created a new chart for the part of my take studio that's above Jake's shoulder.
It's the current one rep max bench press list for all of us as a podcast so well no we just have you listed in second place big cat as father of two and uh Jake is 135 Liam can pick up the camera Hank is 135 I've seen Hank put up 135 before personally and memes memes is too much and then Billy is is in last place at not applicable NA because he hasn't completed one rep match yet.

So what happened was, by the way, I said I didn't want a one rep match.

I don't know why you're still talking.

Just put up the weight.

I will.

Let's get a clip.

Yeah, do it.

Because last time the plates fell off.

Last time the plates fell off, and that's why I couldn't.

Okay, so do it.

Just tie a shoelace around it. Hank, am I going crazy? Just go do it.
Just do it. Yeah, just do it.
Let's go, Billy. Let's go.
All right, we're doing it. We're getting fired up.
This is going to be awesome. Billy.
Don't touch the bar under any circumstances, PFT. By the way, everyone go watch this at YouTube.
This is a good way to subscribe. All right, so go subscribe on YouTube.
I'm afraid that Billy's going to get hurt. I'm afraid Billy should do it.
No, no, no, no. This is all going in the podcast.
He doesn't want me to do it because he knows I'm going to do it. Yeah, exactly.
Redemption, Billy. Redemption.
This is awesome. Oh, he's tying an electrical cord.
All right, Hank and I will narrate. That doesn't seem to be sick.
He's tying an electrical cord on the weights here as the clip. Do you think he got this? I think he's going to me i mean because i think he's i think billy billy responds well to billy ran a marathon he also responds well to embarrassment like if he gets embarrassed he gets so upset that he then comes back and bounces back yeah we had to run a marathon and he actually ran a marathon,

that's kind of when I gave him the, like,

I'll give him the benefit of the doubt in these situations.

I'm not going to touch the bar.

Jake's going to come over here and monitor the plate.

If the plate starts to slip, he's going to nudge it back horizontally.

I'm not going to help Billy with the bar.

Here we go.

Yeah, and we'll narrate. He's laying down on the bar right now Again, go watch on Pardon My Take YouTube Stretching, stretching out You should go watch on Pardon My Take YouTube Getting his arms loose The shows are up earlier now He's wearing a camo sweatshirt He's feeling good I don't know what he's doing with his hair right now.
All right, Billy. Let's go.
He's breathing heavily. Jake has his headphones on.
Also, I boxed this morning. That's why I didn't want to max out.
I boxed for an hour this morning, so there's no glycogen in my muscles. No excuses.
Here he goes. Oh, he's doing the smelling salts, which some may say is illegal.
Oh. Oh.
If this drops right on his chest, it's going to be so funny. I got this.
I think he's got it too. He's got this.
I believe in it. Three.
Oh, my God, Billy. Billy, this is your hot seat cool throne.
Okay, ready? He can't hear you. Here we go.
Jake and... Three.
Here it goes. Shout out to Mobile Muscle.
Here we go. For the bench press.
Three. And two.
Here it goes. Oh, the Mets just won.
Three, two, one. Here he goes.
Here we go. And he's up.
He's up. He's up.
He's got it. Yeah.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Kicked half the studio over. That was impressive.
There we go. Yeah.
I mean, we called it, Hank. We called it.
Billy, good job. Billy, we called it.
Billy. I'm so glad we got it.
There you go. I've been getting so much shit in the office today.
Billy, so you took off your headphones. You couldn't hear what we were saying, but you'll be able to listen back on the pod.
Hey, Billy, can I tell you something? Hank and I both said that you were going to do it because we're like, the one thing that Billy does is he responds well to embarrassment. So we said you were going to do it.
All the shit that Billy was getting was very much so that he couldn't stop talking. Right, of course.
Yeah, no, no. I was getting attacked on all sides.
He was getting attacked. So in order just to tell the story fully, I think that we should put out the video of Billy failing to do it.
Yeah, put that on Pardon My Take YouTube. Before we put this video out.
Yeah, it'll be on PMTV. Yeah, PMTV.
Perfect. And then watch Billy do the actual, complete the actual Ben's Press on the part of my take YouTube.
Great job, Billy. Proud of you.
Appreciate it. Good job, Billy.
My cool throne is Sam Darnold. Sam Darnold, future starting quarterback of the Carolina Panthers because Ben McAdoo was asked if Sam Darnold was a starter and he said yes immediately but then record scratch Ben McAdoo had to go in front of the press being like and this is a quote that is something that I should not have said so Sam Darnold was named the starting quarterback for the Panthers for about I think two and a half hours and more importantly, it's just an excuse to get Ben McAdoo back in the national news because he's looking smooth as ever.
Him and Matt Rule probably painting Charlotte red when they go out at night to the bars. He's looking awesome.
I do miss having Ben McAdoo around. And it's very funny when you see a naturally goofy guy like that always try to look stylish.
I was liking it to if Mr. Bean thought that he was actually James Bond and dressed accordingly, that's what you get with Ben McAdoo and his swaggy haircuts.
It's awesome. I miss him being a head coach, and that oversized suit is one of my favorite pictures of all time.
All right, my hot seat is uh burner accounts so i was i'm in chicago i went and visited my my my guys waddle and sylvie uh they have a great show on espn 1000 i go on every week but i went in person and sylvie uh who's a very very good host the best in the business he has uncovered chris bryant's dad's burner account and it feels good. I feel like we haven't had a burner account in a really long time.
So the burner account, the name is TWMB917. TW being because Ted Williams is his idol, Chris Bryant's dad's idol.
MB being, wait, what was that? What is MB? I don't remember. Something Bryant.
Oh, Mike Bryant, his name. Nine being Ted Williams and 17 being Chris Bryant's number.
And he just responds to everyone. And he has some very funny response.
He said to someone who said, Cubs offered $200 million two years ago, but Boris said he could get Chris Bryant more get Chris Bryant more and he responded ah yes another ignorant cockwomble stuck on stupid Chris Bryant was never offered $200 million ever in fact the Cubs never offered him an extension you stupid dumbass haha he already made $70 million haha what was that word that he invented cockwomble cockwomble I like those guys that are like this has been a fuck crustable of a day like people that just invent sayings that nobody uses cockwomble is going to make its way into the lexicon I don't know if I disagree ethically with revealing burner accounts or doxing people big cat there's been a lot of that going around recently I think it's and so i have no problem with him having the burner account but we have to like talk about it when it gets revealed i i don't blame chris bryant's dad at all i think it's a great move i would do the same thing for my son like why wouldn't you it's just when it gets revealed we have to have a good laugh about it that's that's a fact that's the rules i love Cockwombler cockwombler is a great baseball yeah he also and then yeah go ahead i was gonna say memes just texted us brian kelly's burner brian kelly has a burner oh the the the frog account oh yeah yeah that's right the um the uh the other one you know it's chris brian's dad because a lot of them are aggressive and then the one that actually made me laugh the most was BlogFinds. Matt Clapp, who does a great job with the Cubs, tweeted, that was easily the cheapest double of Chris Bryant's career.
And he responded, makes up for the homer he hit that got robbed by Melky Cabrera against the White Sox a few years ago. It's like, what? So he's really fighting.
Yeah, I want it very much on the record. Mike Bryant should keep doing this.
He has every right to defend his son. We're going to laugh about it when we find it, but I love this.
Like, why wouldn't you do this? I like burner accounts, too. I might hop back on mine.
I might get back to that lifestyle. It's fun just tweeting, just like replying to people, tweeting whatever you want with zero accountability.
Yes, yes. And then my cool throne, I have two.
Duke is on my cool throne. John Shire finally cleaning up the program.
Michael Savarino, Coach K's grandson, is hitting the transfer portal. So Sean.
Probably be a name that's in hiding. John Shire inherited a mess.
What if he goes to Chapel Hill? I have, yeah. This league.
Is he going to drive there, Jake? Actually, you know where he's going to go. Jake, is he going to drive there? Careful.
You know where he's going to go. We'll be responsible.
Yeah. Probably a good culture fit up in Syracuse.
So, shout out, Jon Chiron. Then my other cool throne is Canada because I've decided I put a future on the Calgary Flames.
I'm going to bring a cup to Canada. Personally, I want to bring a cup to Canada.
So if anyone wants to hop in with me, they're a very fun team. They score a lot of goals.
They probably won't win the cup, but I put a future on them. Substantial future.
I'm a Calgary Flames fan for the playoffs. I'm bringing a cup to Canada.
I don't think they've had one in like 25, 30 years. I'm doing it.
I think you got the wrong team. The Leafs.
I asked about the Leafs. I think this is the year.
Here's the thing. I tweeted can the Flames win the cup? No it's the Leafs.
I tweeted can the Flames win the cup and everyone responded no so I was like okay yeah they probably can. But I'll add the Leafs too.
I might do it but you know what? I'll do it. At Leafs and Flames.
Parlam. No, you can't.
No. To both win? I'm on the Leafs already.
That's the play. I'm adding the Leafs.
This is their year. This is Leafs here, man.
I'm Leafs and Flames. I'm bringing the cup.
All I care. Austin Matthews is playing really, really well right now.
They're smoking teams. Also, Calgary is one of those.
I always forget that Calgary is out west. For some reason, I always think that it's out east.

No, I'm adding... But they do the stampede

out there. I'm adding the Leafs.

I just want to bring a cup to

the fine people of Canada, because

I'm sick of them not having a cup

and us making jokes. Hank's watching

me put it in. Boom.
Leafs and

flames. Listen, I'm not

sick of making the jokes, but I

did also take out a future on the Leafs.

I think that they can do it this year.

There's no chance. There's no way.
I think

Thank you. flames listen i'm not sick of making the jokes but i i did also take out a future on the leafs i think that they can do it this year there's no chance like there's no way i think they've actually exhausted all the heartbreaking ways to lose in the playoffs i think that there's just they can't find another way the only way out right now is to win that's what they're gonna do i just i was trying to figure out because the blackhawks are not in the playoffs or even close and and I do love NHL playoffs.
I was like, I need to have a rooting interest. My rooting interest is just simply bringing a cup to Canada.
One way or another. Fans are back, man.
I'm going to do it for the Canadian people. You know what we should do? We should bring back Todd and Gordon.
Yeah, let's do it. Billy.
I got a good one. My hot seat is the USFL.
Running back Davion Smith was cut from the Pittsburgh Maulers for ordering pizza instead of chicken salad. I think this was a work.
Yeah, it was weird. The story doesn't add up in my mind.
So basically the Pittsburgh Maulers sent out a memo saying that he had violated three team rules in 24 hours,

and that was just the last straw.

This was all aired on league programming, sort of an inside the USFL type show.

And he claims that he never violated any league rules.

So it's all starting to look murky.

The USFL and the Pittsburgh organization is not looking too good, and Smith is very angry okay yeah uh i'm with i'm with hank on this work i think it's yeah it's absolutely stay woke on this because what's going to happen they're going to bring them back and then that'll be a storyline going into one of the games and people will be like oh look it's the guy that got caught for the pizza everybody tune in and watch this agreed my question is, was it chicken salad or a chicken salad? You know what I'm saying? Because chicken salad is pretty disgusting. Wait, what? The option was chicken salad or pizza, and they said, we only got chicken salad.
He's like, can I have pizza? I was like, are you okay with that? And he said like a non-future remark. Wait, you think chicken salad is disgusting? Apparently.
Well, like chicken Caesar salad is one thing, but like chicken salad that's like potato salad. Yeah, chicken salad is good.
Like on a sandwich? That's just mayonnaise. There is mayonnaise in it.
And chicken. But it's also got celery.
And depending on how white you are. You put it on a bagel.
Raisins and walnuts. I'll get back.
Graves and walnuts. The Sonoma.
That may be an unpopular opinion. That may be my calamari.
No, it's not non-popular. Like, I think there's probably a lot of people who don't like chicken salad, but saying it's disgusting, I can't agree with that.
Me neither. I think that chicken salad sometimes unfairly gets lumped into the egg salad.
Yeah, which is. That's why.
Egg salad is fun to make and nothing else. Like, it's gross.
Yeah, because it sloshes around. Right.
Egg salad is good from the moment you make it to, like, 10 seconds later. And then it's bad after that.
If you have, like, a six-year-old and you want them to, like, just do something to stay occupied, let them help out making the egg salad. They'll have fun.
Don't actually eat it. Just throw it in the to run is our digging buddy our digging bro who we talked about on monday's episode got a little update for us so all right so i've spoken with my boyfriend and after a good long chat i can successfully say mission accomplished i sat him down when he came home thursday night and seriously voiced my concerns both about his safety and about our relationship he hadn't realized how big an effect this had been having on me in regards to our relationship and he immediately said that he was going to cut the time he spent out there in half.
He said that we could spend the entire weekend together and we pretty much did. Friday night was spent at home and we went out for a nice dinner Saturday night after spending the day together.
Why go out to dinner when you have a whole nice lazy Sunday? But I could tell that he was getting kind of antsy and almost nervous after church day, so I told him that he could go ahead and go to his tunnel early if he wanted to. I won't lie.
I was kind of hoping that he would stay at home. We decided to go back out, which was all right by me.
I also talked to him about my concerns regarding gases and that y'all made me realize it should be conscious of, and he said that he'd work to get some sort of ventilation system installed ASAP. So basically, he's in the clear.
He's made enough. No, this is all, everything you just did is bad.
Well, at least he hasn't stopped digging. One, he's not on the show, which is bad.
Two, he's slowing down on his digging, which is also bad. We want this guy to come on and we want to tell him to dig more.
I also found an article about microbes. Okay i said was correct just because yeah but but but first of all so this guy he might also be lying to his fiance he might be like yeah i'll totally i'll totally slow down on digging the hole i'll cut back on it it sounds like it sounds like something that an addict would say, okay, I'll stop doing it except on Fridays and weekends and then if I really need to blow off some steam.

It sounds like he might still be full-fledged into the whole lifestyle.

Well, the whole lifestyle hasn't stopped.

That's why I'm saying Cool Throne.

Okay.

I'm concerned now.

Please come on. You can't stop digging the hole until you reach your goal yes uh jake uh my hot seat is uh tom brady and aaron rogers they are teamed up against a fellow a pair of fellow recurring guests josh allen and patrick mahomes in the next match so i think we know who we'll be rooting for in that one Yeah.
These have gotten progressively less interesting. I'm actually excited that they don't have golfers in this one because this actually could be fun to watch a bunch of quarterbacks who aren't great at golf chit-talk and play golf.
I like this zag off of it. It'd be very funny if they had a quarterback.
I don't know if Josh Allen plays golf, but it would be very funny if he didn't play golf at all and he just told them that he played. And they had two guys, like if Aaron Rodgers didn't play golf at all against Josh Allen that had no idea what to do, and then they were out there golfing like us.
That would be fun to watch. Yeah, so that should be interesting June 1st.
My cool throne is Marshawn Lynch. He is now minority owner of the Seattle Kraken along with Macklemore.
So good for them. Nice.
Yeah, he was also riding a Zamboni. That clip was so funny.
He was whipping shitties, as they say in Minnesota, with the Zamboni. It looked very, very fun.
Yeah, I'm all on board for more Marshawn Lynch content. Absolutely.
Because all these different brands and networks think that they're going to have Marshawn Lynch on, and he'll be like the normal, charming, exciting Marshawn Lynch. And this time, he won't say any cuss words.
But it's never going to happen. They're going to put Marshawn Lynch on the microphone before Seattle Kraken games, and he's just going to go off to be incredible.
Correct. All that's true.
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maple glazed donut and blueberry cobbler. Find all one bars at a retailer near you or on amazon.com okay we now welcome on a very special guest um it is a first it is a first it is the first woman we've ever had on pardon my take so are you serious no i'm just kidding first tennis player though actually first tennis player we were thinking about it before and we have not had a tennis player on this show we talk a lot of tennis but we've never actually had a tennis we talk tons of tennis so it's genie brouchard tennis uh pro superstar comeback player of the year this next year coming back from injury i'm so honored thank you thank you for having me your as player.
It's so special. Yeah.
So how is the comeback going? How are you feeling physically? It's going really well. Thank you for asking.
So I'm rehabbing from my shoulder surgery that I had last June and the goal is to be playing tournaments very soon. I'm hoping for the French Open in a month.
Okay. So, and then after that's Wimbledon, which is like my favorite tournament.
So I'm gearing up for that. Is that your best surface? Cause I know that's a big difference.
Like with tennis pros is like clay versus grass versus hard court. I grew up, I'm born and raised in Montreal.
So until age 12, I was playing on indoor hard courts. And so that's kind of similar to what grass is.
It's pretty fast. And then the clay is obviously slower.
I feel like I do well on all surfaces though. Some, I know some players like absolutely hate a certain type of surface but I like all of them but I prefer grass and Wimbledon is just my favorite tournament because of how important it is to tennis yeah and you you fit you were the uh in the final so you finished second what 2014 right that's right so that I mean I again I'm not a huge tennis fan but I feel like I the Wimbledon final every year.
Was that being there, especially early in your career, that must have been a little like, holy shit, I'm already at this level? Because that's the tournament, I would assume. Oh, it is.
It's like the Masters in tennis. So it was a huge deal for me.
I think at the time, I almost didn't realize how big it was when you you know, when you're in it and you don't like fully realize. So I was just so focused on how I was playing.
And I think that helped me achieve those good results. But yeah, it was incredibly special.
I was actually named after Princess Eugenie and she was in the stands watching me play in the finals. So it was like one of those full circle life moments.
So that was pretty crazy. That is crazy.
What do you think you could have done different to win that one? You know, I kind of got my butt kicked, not going to lie. I lost to Petra Kravitova.
She's very good on the grass and she's a lefty. So she's tough to play.
And yeah, I kind of didn't really even have a chance in that match. So I still to this day have not rewatched that match because I'm like still traumatized from it.
Well, that's funny because we actually have it if we want to pull it up on TV. Let's just watch the finals right now.
Billy breaks it down stroke by stroke through mechanics. That sounds like torture.
That's a nightmare for me. How much of an adjustment is it when you get into, is there like a clay court season? Yeah.
Is that a specific time of year? That's right. It's basically starting right now.
So before each slam, we have the season of whatever surface that is. And it's all these preparation tournaments to play to culminate with the grand slam i've got a really dumb question about about wimbledon and the grass court there do do players ever wear cleats are there like specific shoes that you can wear that have like tiny little studs to give you better traction that's a great question we have he's like thank you we have uh basically regulations rules on how much we can have these like cleat type of shoes.
So we're allowed a little bit of like spikes, but they can't be like too long or too like pointy because then it destroys the court. So like Wimbledon has to approve your shoes before you play.
Got it. Okay.
So and then in terms of gear, I feel like tennis fashion has made like a resurgence. Like people like to wear the New Balance shoes, you know, the old school tennis logo and stuff.
Have you felt that, that tennis is getting cooler? I do think so. I think because athleisure wear is so prominent these days that you can kind of mix and match like that.
I signed with New Balance a year and a half ago. I didn't even know that.
Look at that. I feel like I jumped on the cool, trendy train at the perfect moment because they're dad shoes, but they're also so cool now.
And then also their clothes is really cool. They're doing cool collaborations with fashion brands.
And so we get the best of both worlds. It's awesome.
They're super comfortable too. They're like sweatpants for your feet.
That's why I like wearing new balances.

They are. And the Prince

brand. I see people wearing Prince all the time.

That's the tennis brand, right? It's like old school

stuff that's basically coming back in. The

vintage look. I mean, I think everyone loves that.
I personally

love wearing all that type of stuff.

If you haven't figured it out already, we know absolutely nothing

about tennis. I was going to try to

see how long we could fake it, but then

once I asked the cleats question, I was like, that's probably a giveaway. I'll give a tennis question.
When do you attack the net? When you— How often? Because I've always thought if I were a tennis player, I'd just fucking go crazy at the net every time. Because I feel like every time you attack the net, you fuck the other guy up.
Yes and no. You want to do it on the right shot.
So when you get your opponent out in trouble, like on the side of the court, if you get him moving and you have an easy ball, then you want to do it on the right shot so when you get your opponent out in trouble like on the side of the core if you get him moving and you have an easy ball then you want to go to the net if you go to the net on a bad shot you're going to get passed so especially nowadays the rackets are more powerful and so it's easier for people to hit like big shots even if they're stretched even if they're on the run so going into the net on a bad shot is a terrible idea don't do that have you ever played with an old racket like the old school rackets the wooden rackets i never have until literally a month ago i found these two wooden rackets in my grandma's closet my grandma used to play tennis and i was like how come you never told me these were here one of them had a broken string and then the other one she said was strong like 50 years ago so i was like i'm going to take and bring them to my practice tomorrow. And I hit with it and it was so like soft because nowadays we play with so much new like advanced like material.
And it was just like the soft wood. It's like a gut, you know, it's like natural gut string.
Right. So it felt like hitting with a trampoline.
That's crazy. What about like the Hawkeye technology? I'm always impressed with how tennis has incorporated the instant replays because they get it exactly right every time, and it's so satisfying to watch the little shadow of the ball land on the court.
Is there anybody that thinks, hey, this technology is bad for tennis? People are like, oh, I hate VAR and soccer. Replay is ruining the game.
Does anybody have that take, or are most of the players like, this is good, I'm glad that they've incorporated this? I'm sure some of the traditionalists and purists don't think it's good for the game but you know now they've gone a step further they've eliminated all the lines people at tournaments so before you had a lines person who would call it but then you can challenge if you didn't agree with the call nowadays it's basically just the computer calling it so i think that takes a bit of the fun out of it because there's no like anticipation of whether it's in or out and there's no like ability to challenge because you're not going to challenge the computer so you don't challenge anymore so now there's no more challenges because it's just the computer that calls it out yeah i agree with you that the challenge was always fun because it was like would you yeah would your coach say like hey challenge it or was that just you you would just do it by eye like i felt like that was it well technically you're not supposed to get help from your team whether to challenge or not but every player secretly looks over and then the coach does like a little signal like yes challenger take their hat off got it okay but now it's gone exactly that's also kind of a bummer because now you don't have somebody to scream at if there's a missed call like it's you know that it's your fault exactly like we don't have to talk about Serena who went up to the lines person and was screaming at her. We're not going to have that anymore.
That's good for Djokovic too, right? It'll help a couple players. Let me ask you that question.
It's a very important question. Who's the GOAT on the men's side? Well, technically by slam number now it's Rafa Nadal.
But I personally have a soft spot for Roger. I think he's great.
But I do think Djokovic is actually the best. Yes! Okay.
I basically just gave you a non-edger. I said all three.
No, you ended up there. We have to redefine it now.
What about Roger in his prime against Djokovic in his prime? I'll always pick Roger in his prime. Gross.
Come on. Djokovic is goat no we actually like we we found uh for sports that we're not watching all the time the best way to tap in is to just figure out what the goat debate is and then get people riled up and it seems like tennis has a very spirited one on the men's side serena is clearly the goat on the women's side right like that's not even a question yes to me she right.
So that one's kind of definitive, but on the men's side, the fact that you have Djokovic, who will probably end up with the slams title, Rafa and Federer, and they all had different peaks. I just love it.
I love getting in the goat debate. Yeah, their fan bases are all very aggressive towards the other fan bases, and so it gets a very scary debate.
Well, Rafa fan bases are losers, because you can only win on clay, and Federer fan bases just wear their Swiss watches and think they're better than everyone while Djokovic goes out and just pounds people. Being a Roger Federer stan is a luxury brand.
A lot of times, a riff-raff can't understand how classy it is to cheer for a man like Roger Federer. Exactly, and by the way, Rafa just won the Australian Open, so...
What's that played on? Hard. Oh yeah, Djokovic didn't play because they banned him.
Mickey Mouse. It was a bubble.
Jokovic would have won that. Good.
Thank you for proving my point for me. Was Federer in that tournament? No.
Oh, that's interesting. Yeah.
So Rafa won a tournament without Djokovic or Federer there. Hmm.
That is true. Thank you, Jeannie.
Okay. There are other good players.
Okay. Yes.
All right. so we had a question about one of your former boyfriends, not the breakup and all that stuff, but Mason Rudolph.
We're football guys. Did the Miles Garrett thing happen while you guys were dating? No, that was before.
Did you talk to him about it at all? Yes. What'd he say? Was he like, I almost died? He almost died.
From your perspective, was it assault? Yeah assault yeah wow you guys are coming with the hard-hitting questions you thought we were gonna ask something else like we just want more intel on that incident that's all we care about i mean i think they both got fined right yeah so i think that tells you miles garrett yeah yeah even more so you know i think there's a bit of blame on both sides. Yeah.
Was he like, he never was like, damn, that was crazy. I mean, I think the whole world was kind of like, damn, that was crazy.
But like just randomly you guys be out to dinner. He's like, remember that time? Miles Garrett almost fucking domed me.
No, he would not bring it up like that. All right.
That's how our brains work. Like something like that happens.
That's all you talk about for the rest of your life no i think that's something you'd want to move past though because you're just labeled if it happens to you yeah then you want to move on from it but us we're dumb right we see something on that rectangle that has lights that come out the television and that just gets sears into our brain for the rest of our lives and that's what we remember yes but when it's you you're like i don't want to be known just for the one thing yeah Yes. So you want to move past it.
You also had a very funny Twitter story that's actually becoming a movie now. So if I have it right, before the Patriots-Falcons Super Bowl, a fan on Twitter basically was like, if the Patriots win, you got to take me out on a date.
And then obviously the famous comeback happens. And then you're a woman of your word.
You took him out on a a date you guys hung out a little bit after too right yes and then it's now a movie that's kind of crazy you know everything about this story i love it well we i i was looking it up uh nate in our office he he chronicled it uh extensively he was on top of it he was i think that was his entire beat for a while was the Jeannie Bouchard twitter date twitter fan date yes you know it was one of those crazy stories because it was just the timing of it all you know the timing of my tweet when it was the worst score ever and then I was betting against Tom Brady and he was like I'll take you on a date if Brady comes back and I was like sure because I thought that would never happen and lo and behold we have the greatest comeback in Super Bowl history so just the timing of it all was outrageous and the next day, like people were stopping me on the street, like, hey, because I thought that would never happen. And lo and behold, we have the greatest comeback in Super Bowl history.
So just the timing of it all was outrageous.

And the next day, people were stopping me on the street like, hey, are you that Twitter girl?

And not like a tennis player.

No, you're that girl that I saw something on Twitter about.

So John was just a very sweet guy.

We actually went to a Brooklyn Nets game.

We sat courtside and they showed us on the screen and everything was so cute.

And yeah, we stayed in touch ever since.

We're like good friends. And now Fox 2000 bought the rights to the story.
Right. And then it got bought by Disney.
So we're in the process of trying to attach an actress to my role and then selling it to probably one of the streaming platforms. Okay.
So I want to ask about what actress you want to play you, but I have to just real quick. Do you know how close you were to like having to go on a date with just a complete like loser weirdo? Like Twitter is, we live on Twitter.
So I could have been one of you guys. Well, that hurts, but that's okay.
No, that's fine. She's right.
She's right. But like, were you holding your breath like, oh God, this guy could be, There are some trolls on Twitter, and if he shows up and he's just like, oh, man, that was a mistake.
Were you holding your breath? Oh, I was completely terrified because his profile picture on Twitter was a picture of Tiger Woods. Oh, no.
No, better than a big fish or something. That would have been bad.
A tiger picture? A tiger picture definitely sets the tone. This is obviously not Tiger Woods, so that means he's a super fan and we all know how super fans can be and so i was tiger woods yeah so i had no idea what to expect literally my bodyguard started doing like a background check and we finally got like a picture and like i got a picture of his driver's license and i was like okay he's just like a little college boy he's a normal dude he's a totally normal dude and people like he's good looking people looked at us and thought we would be such a cute couple and so I was like I think that's why people love the story so much as well because it looked like it could really happen and who knows maybe it did maybe it didn't we don't know yeah okay did you have any like security measures in place like uh was somebody going to call you after the first quarter to just check in and be like, are you okay? Was there a signal?

Oh, yeah.

My bodyguard was, like, standing right over there.

All right, smart.

But also, it was in a very public place, so I felt safe.

You know, this guy was going to pull anything in the middle of a basketball game.

This might be the most shocking story of all time, that you, like, took up a guy on Twitter and he wasn't a crazy.

I know.

It's just amazing how it turned out.

I looked at the picture. I was like, that guy looks completely normal.
Huh? One in a billion. We could actually date.
Yes. I will actually consider this guy.
Sorry. So who do you want to play you in the movie? Dream.
You get any actress in the world. I love Blake Lively.
Okay. Maybe Margot Robbie.
Okay. Those are good choices.
Yeah? Yeah. Or I always get, I look like that girl from Gone Girl, people tell me.
Rosamund Pike. Yeah.
I can see that. Yep.
But isn't that a fun game to play? Like everyone always plays that game. Like who would you want to play you in a movie? I know.
And this is like real life. Yeah.
Pinch me. It's going to happen.
This is so cool. Yeah.
You get to pick anyone. No, it's really cool.
I'm executive producer and I want a a little cameo in it as well. And I'm like, I want to be the crazy ex-girlfriend in this guy's past that comes back to scream at him that he's trying to date someone famous or something.
I feel like I could be a great psycho ex-girlfriend. That's kind of a psycho move to want to play a girl who's mad at a guy for wanting to date you.
Yeah. I want to live out my psycho girlfriend moment.
That's's such a funny story i really wish you had like gone on a date with like one of those guys that replies to every tweet like lafra james has has never won a real title and he's got it typed out and he just replies to everyone all the time he's like copy paste you know the people or a crypto guy or someone do you know who's gonna play the guy no so we're we're just trying to attach actors to this right now and um they've thrown around names like uh gosh who are they denzel washington no but okay will smith i just think i mean if you're in a couple he's a little on the older side will smith um available right now he's yep he's got nothing going on he's been in a tennis movie before that's before. That's true.
Yeah. He won an Oscar for it.
Actually, that would be a cool melding of worlds that Richard Williams. So it basically is like a sequel.
It becomes almost like- Richard Williams then dates, and then you go and beat Serena, and he's like, well, my wife and then my daughter are playing in Wimbledon Final. It's like a cinematic universe thing where he dates you, you eventually get married, you have kids that then grow up to be probably the best tennis player of all time, right? Because it's like half your genes, half the Williams family genes, and then your son or daughter becomes the GOAT.
Yes. I'm going to go call Richard right now.
This sounds like a great life plan for me. Yes, that's perfect.
It was interesting because I was watching King Richard the other day, and just thinking about what you have to do as a child to put in work to become an elite tennis player, it seems like so much work. It seems exhausting for not just the player, for the entire family.
So from what age did you really realize, I want to focus on this and I want to be great at tennis? You have to start really young. I started at four and a half years old.
I played my first tournament when I was eight. And I think I would say when I was probably nine, which I know is really young to decide your career in life, is when I qualified for a big 12 and under tournament in France.
So I got to travel internationally. And I was like, wow, I could travel and play tennis and this can be my career.
Like I'm doing this. And so pretty soon you have to specialize.
I played other sports as a kid, like soccer, basketball. But by age 10 to 12, you're like, you know, leaving school early for practice and missing weeks and months of school at a time to go play tournaments around the world tennis is very international so um you sacrifice a lot i missed birthday parties i missed family events i missed socializing right was there ever a moment where you're like i'm this is not for me like that moment that happens in every movie where it's like i don't think i want to do this anymore for sure everyone had those moments when you lose a tough match.
You're like, is this really worth it? And you feel bad about yourself. But for me, it was very soon to bounce back.
Like the next day, I'm like, okay, like I'd feel weird not going to practice now. And I do still want to play tennis.
And what's great with tennis is you have a tournament the next week. So you always have the ability to go play again next week.
And, you know, I'm not playing a team sport. I'm not owned by a team where they tell me what to do.
I can decide my schedule. I can decide when I play.
So it's like, hey, I want to go play extra tournaments. I can go do it.
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I like to ask this of athletes whenever we have an athlete on. What's the one thing about tennis that the normal fan doesn't understand like whether it be something difficult that they can't really comprehend they think we're the quintessential guys who sit on a couch and we're like oh we could do that we can't but you know a lot of fans are like oh I could do that what's the thing that fans completely overestimate in terms of skill or the game or thinking the game you know I find fans in New york specifically are like that because when i play at the u.s open and i go to the back of the court to get a ball they're screaming at me like hey serve to her backhand like her backhand sucks in new york specifically they just love to be coaches and i'm like how about you come try dude you know you think it's so easy right um so i i feel that aspect i think the biggest thing is the amount of hours that go into it.
And I think tennis, honestly, I think we practice more than other sports. Like I have friends in every other sport and like we are on the court three to four hours a day.
And it's like other sports are they do an hour of really on field or on court and then other stuff like gym, of course, and all that stuff working out. But tennis is just the repetition.
You really need good timing. And so it's just the hours that go in and it's a full-time job i mean i'm practicing three four hours on the tennis court two hours in the gym two hour massage or physical therapy eating is part of my job sleeping and then that's my day how much time does it take for you to like lose your peak ability like is it a week is it because that's always amazing to me when we talk to athletes or like a hockey player is like oh if i don't if i'm not on the ice for two weeks like i'm not i'm like 80 oh yeah i mean probably if i don't hit for one week i'll go out on the court and feel a little bit out of it really tennis is very much of the timing aspect to it and you just got to get in a groove and so that's why we practice so much yeah um speaking of like big cat talking about fans having rational confidence and being able to coach you up on things i had a thought before you came in that i wanted to get your feedback on if if you took everybody in this room so me big cat jake baba billy and memes back there if you had us all on the court against you at once so it's like one against what is that six could we take a game off you ever oh no you sure no chance because she could just like i don't think we could hit it back if she hit it as hard as she wanted to like big cat said we would just we would just charge the fucking net we put the pressure on yeah i guess that part so we probably put four four people at the net so you'd have to figure out would would you just hit it at us, directly at us and try to injure us? Probably at that point.
I feel like, yeah, your reflex wouldn't be fast enough to be able to handle that. So I would just try to nail you guys.
Yeah, I mean, I was lucky enough, I think it was like seven years ago, we got to go hit with Andy Roddick, and I couldn't even get the racket up in time. Yeah, so more of you wouldn't really help in that situation.
Yeah, it'd probably be worse, actually. That's what I was going to say.
You're going to get in each other's way. It would not be helpful.
We wouldn't communicate well. Yeah, who would you...
So if it was like me, Big Cat, Jake, and Billy at the net, like just getting ready to return the volley, who are you going to try to hit first? Well, I think I'll go with you because you seem to have superior confidence. And so that's a red flag to me.
Yeah, go right at him. Yeah, because he thinks he can do it.
I think that means he really can't. No, you're absolutely 100% right.
Like you could not have read me more. The more I say that I believe that I can do something, it's usually because deep down I know that I can't.
Yes, and you have inside so yeah yeah well the difference only blind people and assholes right he's 27 so he's still got that like irrational confidence i'm 37 so i'm i've now reached the point in my life where i'm like no i would suck at everything yeah you have that life experience and that maturity right exactly maturity yes exactly um all right so when you're like i've always heard this about tennis. You're thinking, like, two or three shots ahead while you're playing.
Is that true? Pretty much, yeah. I wouldn't say two or three.
I mean, one or two for sure. You're trying to hit somewhere, get them off the court.
Like, I like to try to hit an angle, and then I'm already thinking about, you know, moving them back to the other side or doing a drop shot after that. It's a little bit, people call it, like, chess a little bit in of you want to you want to set up the point so you're thinking about where you want to serve and your next shot after for sure multiple shots do you ever think about what they're trying to do to you and then you just do the opposite like is it and then they know that you're thinking about what they're doing so they're going to do the opposite on that you could really get yourself twisted that was a convoluted question you could really you see what i'm saying though if you know what i'm doing and i know that you know i'm going to do something else now do you know that i'm going to do something else even though you already knew what i was doing in the first place take a guess if you're going to be doing reverse psychology on me or not but what if i'm reversing the reverse see this is how you think yourself into like if you're a football coach this is how you end up running a draw on third down to 12 this is me just standing on the tennis court like my my controllers unplug being like okay and not moving at all right then you're like analysis paralysis and it's just frozen so no that's not helpful to think that way okay good to know i'm closer to being a pro let's simplify you know simplifying it um you know thinking one thought at a time what i would though, is you do need some humility to think about what they would do to you because you've got to admit, what are my weaknesses? What are people going to try to attack? So you've got to think about that and then find ways to counter it.
What are your weaknesses? I'm not telling you. I don't have any.
That's smart. That's smart.
You almost had her. It's a good question, though.
Your serve's not great, isn't it? No, my serve's good. Yeah.
To both ways? To both sides? To both sides. I don't think you charge the net enough, right? You're a ground stroke player.
I am more of a baseline player, and I do want to go to the net more. But again, you want to pick the right shot.
But it's helpful to practice it and practice. We call it approaching to the net, and so you want to do that.
So I need to practice that more. I would see you falling into that trap of just trying to ground stroke us to death.
And I would just hit a drop shot. Yep.
Checkmate. All day drop shots.
Wow. You like know me.
I'm scouted. What about, have you ever whiffed on a slam? That would be so embarrassing.
Like an easy one. And you're just, you just whiff.
I do that all the time. Why am I not surprised? You get so hyped up.
You're like, holy shit, I I'm gonna crush this ball. Do you ever hit one in the net? Well, of course.
That's embarrassing. Yeah, but see, you're already trying to think of winning the point when in tennis it's cliche but you have to think one shot at a time.
You can't get ahead of yourself, can't get emotional during the point. You gotta stay focused.
I've always wondered, a lot of times when you go to the ball person, you get the balls that you're about to serve. They bounce a couple of them, check a few, and then just throw one away.
They're like, not this one. What's that ball's deal? Because it has bad vibes.
Yeah. You can't play with a ball that has bad vibes.
I like that. That's kind of what I figured.
They're all the same. They're new balls that are used in championship-level tennis.
I would imagine there's some sort of quality control aspect where they're all good balls, but you see when you're just like, nope, not today. To be fair, there can be a difference if you've randomly used one particular ball more than the others in this current set of balls, then it has less fuzz on it.
It means it goes faster through the air. So people will try to pick that ball for their serve.
So it goes just that little bit amount faster. Little tiny fuzz.
What about the, remember when Djokovic hit the, was it a ball woman? Yes. In the throat? The lines person.
Lines person? Yeah. So you thought she shouldn't have been standing there, right? What are you talking about? I mean, she shouldn't have been standing there.
It was her job to stand there. No, no, she shouldn't have been standing there.
That's why they're getting rid of him. That wasn't his fault.
They're trying to protect him. Yeah, they're trying to protect Djokovic.
No, that was wrong. He should not have done that.
For her, yeah. Yeah, that one was a tough one to spin zone as a Djokovic fan.
I was just like, well. See, this is the problem with fans.
They're like blind. They have just blind love for their person.
It's a bad look. Big Cat's like, if he wasn't doing this job right now, he would be a guy at home with a Twitter avatar of Djokovic.
Yeah. I'm sure he still has that.
Yeah, this is Bird of Couch. Oh, for sure.
Yeah. My favorite part about- I actually probably have only watched one match of him ever.
So what's the blind love for Djokovic? Again, it's just being part of the goat debate is very fun. It's just getting in the mix.
And it's also the one that makes the most people the most angry. Correct.

Because he has a love-hate with

some fans. Some people totally hate him

so he's the perfect guy to get hate.

Because he's got a mind of his own. He speaks what he

thinks. Exactly.
Good for him.

My favorite part about playing tennis, and I

don't really play that much,

like ever, really, but

I always love the smell of the new balls.

When you crack the top, does that joy ever go away? It never goes away. Yeah.
That's amazing. And the sound that it makes too.
The sound, yes. And at Wimbledon, because the courts are grass, it's like a softer sound when it bounces.
And it's just like, it's the most like beautiful noise in the world. Wait, how many hits of the ball until the ball is like, can't be used anymore? Literally one point? No, no.
We use the same balls for like seven games and then they change them out okay yeah all right yeah because then but those balls if you like grab that ball after it's dead not completely dead but it's just not to our professional player standards you guys could play with those balls but no thank you i appreciate what do you mean like throw to our dogs that would be perfect no for the one time every three years you go on a court yeah you lose it. Have you ever been in a warm-up? I love the warm-up because you've got to be nice.
Have you ever played warm-up with anyone and they were just being a dick? Oh yeah, Sharapova. Really? Yeah.
What'd she do? She just tries to hit the ball as hard as she can in the warm-up. That's hilarious.
It's so annoying. That's kind of a mental edge though.
Trying to set a tone. Yeah.
She's trying to intimidate you, but it didn't work on me. So can you complain to anyone about that? Can you be like, hey, stop? No, the umpire can't force you to do anything.
Ultimately, the umpire can't force the person to warm up. You could just walk on the court and decide not to warm up if you don't want to.
But normally, most of us just do some easy rallying to feel good. And some try to do winners and try to hit as hard as they can.
Yeah, there's nothing that you just roll your eyes. It's like, oh, God, here goes Maria again.
She's in winners. This is what, yeah.
Would you say that, like, I mean, I detected a note of, like, this is my rival when you brought up Sharapova. Would you, is it fair to say that you and her have bad blood? Definitely.
But she's retired now, put her in retirement you outlasted her yeah congratulations i did that to coach k yeah it's a nice thing to do yeah no so no unfortunately we can't play anymore i mean she's a great competitor and we had battles for sure but uh no we can't play anymore she's retired what about um i've always wondered for strategy a second serve. So you hit the first serve in the net or it's out, and then you take a little something off the second serve.
What if you just don't take anything off? Obviously, you have a better chance of giving up the point, but you kind of fuck up the opponent, right? Totally. I sometimes think that's a great strategy because they step in expecting an easier ball, and then you just go with another first serve, and you're surprised.
But it's way higher risk, so you've got to weigh the pros and the cons. It's all about risk-reward.
I think I'm finding quickly that I would just probably not get a single serve in and then I would go to the net right away and lose every point. Yeah, I'm getting a very kind of aggressive mentality here, so it's like only first serves, rush the net.
I don't know how far that will take you. Can I tell you the truth? We're like Sampras.
I have played tennis before a few times, and it's like only first serves rush the net i don't know how far that'll take you can i tell you the truth like sampras yeah yeah i have played tennis before a few times and it's just very boring to me so i'm like i'll hit it a couple times and i'll just try to hit a home run out of the out of the whole thing yeah that defeats the whole purpose yeah right i i admit that like it's stupid but i just can't there's something about having a tennis racket and like seeing the ball just like like, I want to hit a dinger. So you should maybe play baseball.
Yeah, right. Exactly.
If maybe tennis was more of a mound and a wall that you had to hit over, I would be more into it. And the racket was smaller and made out of wood.
Yeah. And it had no strings on it.
So basically you hate tennis. No, I don't hate tennis.
I love Djokovic. Yeah, I love tennis.
Well, my well, my favorite parts of tennis are the sound and the smell of the new balls, the massages that you were talking about as part of the training. The goat debate.
The goat debate. And then the giant tennis balls that they give you that you sign up.
Oh, that the fans use? Yeah. I love the giant tennis balls.
Those things are the best. They're so cute.
I love signing them. It's so much easier to sign the big ball than when they give you the actual balls because it's like a disaster.
And also fans like has there ever been a fan that like screwed you up because i know you're not supposed to yell during the point right during the point you're not supposed to yeah it happens sometimes especially if a ball is close to being out sometimes fans will call it out and then the player will stop because they think the umpire called it out and then you have to replay the point and it's a whole situation but i wish the fans i wish it was more like involved because it's a quite quiet sometimes yeah and stiff and i feel like tennis needs to get with the times and be a little more fun so i'm totally for fans i always tell my fans i'm like scream as loud as you can i think it's so fun what your fans are called genie's army yeah they've labeled themselves the genie army we're in are you part of the crew now oh yeah absolutely why aren't they the boo crew that's that sounds weird i think it sounds great or boutang clan taking no ideas from you genie's army i'm part of it but you gotta like tattoo my name somewhere on your body oh okay we go right next to my jokovic tattoo you know what you should do the tennis well not you like tennis as a governing body should kind of take a page out of golf's handbook where just have a tournament in scottsdale arizona once a year where the fans can get as drunk as they want they can scream during points just like free-for-all just absolute chaos i think that'd be fun to do like one time i totally agree and as long as the players can just get used to it i think it'd be way more fun for people to be more engaged and more into it i mean the fans are great in tennis but there's just they're a little restricted so i just want to loosen that up and make it more of a party scene like when you go to basketball game i went two nights ago and it was like a club like you're sitting the music is so loud and it's it's fun yeah i like that we've been pretty nice in this interview but i do have i've got one major issue that i think you're complete and total psycho about it's an old tweet that you had oh you said i'm gonna quote this dipping pizza in soy sauce is life oh no all caps on life oh no dipping pizza in soy sauce is life that's that's a serial killer move oh no you know what you i'm not helping you on this one i got so much hate for that i had no idea that there was gonna be this huge backlash i mean people got mad at me but then soy sauce companies were like reaching out and like hey you want some free soy sauce i was like uh yes but uh it just adds some saltiness to it. I thought it was a great idea.

Yeah, no, that's gross.

That's too much salt.

That's gross.

I can't believe people feel so passionately about this.

It's not passionate.

It's more like, what's your problem?

I feel bad for you, actually.

I just happened to be having sushi and pizza at the same time one night,

and I just dipped it in.

And now it's life.

Yeah.

And now people know I'm a serial killer.

All right, so if we're doing the mean question portion,

I'll do my one mean question.

I'm ready.

You're a twin.

Yes.

Thank you. it together and now it's life yeah and now people know i'm a serial killer all right so if we're doing the mean question portion i'll do my one mean question i'm ready you're a twin yes how much does your twin suck at tennis oh my god i mean right that's a real question though right like what's her problem look she started when i started at age four or five okay and she retired at age six right okay so i yeah exactly is she ever like i should have kept with that? Sometimes, but you know, we're so different.
She's like a social butterfly. She's great at other things.
Definitely was not into sports like I was. I was more the tomboy kind of obsessed with sports.
So interesting how twins can be so different. Yeah.
It's just always fascinating when twins, when one's like a professional athlete and the other's not. If I had a twin and he was a professional athlete i'd be like i fucked that up like i got everything you got well maybe maybe you got some different genes who knows isn't it the same i think is it identical twins yeah no we're fraternal oh okay all right so then there it is yeah all right you just you just beat her into submission yeah you sharep over her you made her bow out.
Yeah. You dominated her in your mom's belly.
In the womb? Yeah, in the womb. Just bullied her.

Just took no strokes off in the warm-ups you're like it's on once we get out of here yes um i'd prefer not to think of it that way but you know no i just uh we're just so different people we're basically yeah it's like siblings that just happen to be born at the same time got it um i i want to play just real briefly real quick game of matchmaker you might not be into this at all but i want to throw it out there because um you have gone on a date with a fan before yes and there's a person who works here at barstool that is a massive fan of yours in fact when you first started dating mason rudolph um this person wrote a blog his name's hubs he said devastating news as genie bouchard is reportedly off the market and then he just led person wrote a blog. His name's Hubs.
He said, devastating news, as Jeannie Bouchard is reportedly off the market. And then he just led the blog off with, no, and 17 O's, and then nine exclamation points after.
He was devastated. That sounds like someone who's really devastated.
Very devastated. Would you be willing to meet him at any point? Are you completely...
You had one good date with a fan, so you're like, you know what? I'm not going to try it again. Well, first of all, with John, it was multiple dates.
Oh. Yeah.
Good job, John. And you know what? I am very single and very ready to mingle.
Okay. So, yes.
Let's meet Hubs. Okay.
I think Hubs might have a girlfriend, but we'll. Not for long.
We'll pretend. Yeah, there you go.
He's a massive Roger Federer fan, too. I love it.
You guys have a lot in common. Yeah, he is a huge, obnoxiously so, Federer fan.
Like, he thinks he has the class that Roger Federer has. That's great.
I would love a classy guy. He does not.
He does not. He's not a classy guy.
He's a Yankee fan. Although he has earned his pinstripes.
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I got a little more on my resume. What club? Weston Hills in Florida, Florida.
Ask him what happened the last time we played if he had to retire due to injury. I hit a slam winner at the net and I sprained my ankle.
But I still won the point. Retired due to injury.
That's pretty epic. Scorecard says retired, could not finish.
He's also sick at ping pong. That does not translate at all to tennis.
Well, he's also sick at tennis. Okay.
So maybe it's us. I respect it.
Maybe a little bit. So we were talking about the GOAT earlier, right? You've played Serena Williams a handful of times in your career, and you beat her once.
Yes. When you see her on the other side of the net, people say it's cliche, oh, it's just another match.
There's no way people actually think that. Is that what you thought when you played her have to you have to imagine it's just oh my god holy crap that's serena great question i mean to be honest for sure the first time especially when i played her i looked across the net and i felt like i was looking at my tv screen because i'm so used to seeing her on tv and i was like wow i mean it's an amazing feeling to be able to get to that place and achieve that to be able to play against her.
And so it's just kind of one of those like out of your body experiences because you're just so used to seeing her on TV. And now she's actually in front of you waiting for you to serve.
It's like I wasn't even thinking about winning at that point. I was like, I just want to do a good enough serve that like she's OK to return.
You know what I mean? Yeah. She beat her 6-2, 6-1.
Whoa. Does she give up a little bit? No.
Because that happens in tennis, doesn't it? We're emotional. But in certain, is there not a strategy? Like, I'll see, and again, I'm very, very, not a lot of knowledge about tennis, but I've heard people say that, like, in a certain, no, certain game set, set.
Well, the whole thing would be a match. Match, set.
If someone goes down, they'll just be like, all right, I'm punting on this. Maybe it's more men's because it's five games.
In one set that they would try to. I think that can be a strategy.
They want to save their energy and almost just start over in the next set. Right.
I never do that, though. I don't think that's right.
That's what I say whenever Djokovic loses a set. That's what he did? Yeah.
Okay, you're one of those real diehard fans. Yeah.
I seriously have watched them one time. It was against...
It was the 2019 Wimbledon final against Federer, I'm pretty sure. And who won? I think Joker.
Fuck yeah. That was an epic match, right? Oh yeah, that was the crazy thing.
Yeah, that's what I watched. Yes.
Do you have any other questions, Jake? That was a great question. Well, you know, the first time I ever played Serena, though, I do remember calling my mom before and just saying, like, I'm so scared I'm about to lose six love, six love.
And then I went out there and I won the first set and then I lost. That was another match.
What was the handshake like? Oh, great. She's gracious.
Yeah.

But handshakes are a big thing in tennis.

Are they?

Oh, yeah.

Has there been bad ones?

What was Sharapova's handshake like?

Probably just grab the hell out of your hand, try to break it because she was so mad that

you beat her again.

It was kind of, yeah, very icy, silent from both ends.

Stare.

Dead fish?

Yeah.

Have you gotten a dead fish?

Yeah.

Sometimes some girls are just almost like barely tap your hand and then just walk away.

Any Juwan Howards? Anyone try to get physical? Smush your face? No. Okay.
Tennis is a classy sport. Yep.
But there's some, you can tell the personalities and the emotions by how the handshake goes at the end. So always keep your eyes open for that.
I love that. I mean, are you happy that there is the handshake? Because my take is it does seem antiquated at times, especially in professional sports.
Like, why are they shaking hands? But I love watching that interaction after a game. Oh, I love it, too.
I think it's great for the fans. And I think it's right to just, you know, have some sort of acknowledgement before you leave the court after battling it out.
So oftentimes they're great. I love when you see like two after an epic match and the two guys hug and you're just like, yeah, they respect each other.
So yeah. All right.
Go ahead. One last last question.
My last question, because i did just watch king richard have you ever done the thing that sanchez vicario didn't just pretend that you have to go to the bathroom just to stall somebody for a while no but players do it all the time i won't admit to it though yeah the way you answer that it sounded like a maybe maybe it's a maybe yeah you'll never know no i mean honestly sometimes it's just for like to take time for myself to like take a couple minutes to go to the bathroom. But there are players who pretend they're injured to take time away and they play all these kinds of games.
I try to not do that. Yeah.
All right. So my last last question has been great.
We've as far as like first tennis guests couldn't gone better. Now you guys have so much more information on tennis.
I know. Really enjoyed having you because we like to ask dumb questions because we're dumb guys when it comes to sports we don't watch and sports we watch.
Let's just say you win Wimbledon. Are you a full collapse or go to your knees kind of celebrator? Oh, full collapse.
Full collapse. Yeah, because that's just a life-changing moment.
So back or forward? Back. Okay.
Gotta go back. Alright.
Because that's like, that's a huge decision. You have to think about that ahead of time.
Yeah, you do. Like, I kind of think I'd be the knees, like, that guy.
Yeah, you do seem like that. Yeah, like, are you not entertained? But listen,

going all the way up,

doing the Snow Angels is a pretty classy move too.

Yeah, I would do that

and just be like,

what is happening?

What is life?

I would absolutely go to the back

in France at Roland Garros

because you get the clay

on your shirt.

Like Rafa, your favorite?

Yes, no, Rafa's not my favorite.

And now this is great

because if you do win Wimbledon,

we are part of Genie's Army,

so we're rooting for you.

You will collapse,

full collapse,

I don't know. favorite yes no rafa's not my favorite and now this is great because if you do win wimbledon we are part of genie genie's army so we're rooting for you uh you will collapse full collapse and then you'll be thinking in the back of your head remember when those two weird dudes sitting next to a bench press asked me what i would do if i won wimbledon so we will actually be the first thought in your head if you win wimbledon yes and i'll like thank you guys for helping me plan my yes celebratory reaction mental coaches maybe do a barrel roll that would be kind of cool You go down, and then'll be like, thank you guys for helping me plan my celebratory reaction.
Mental coaches. Maybe do a barrel roll.
That would be kind of cool. You go down, and then you just start rolling around the court back and forth.
Yeah, and I'll be thanking you guys in my speech as well. I like that.
The French part or the English part? The English part. Well, it's Wimbledon.
She's winning Wimbledon. Yeah, but you speak French too, right? Yeah.
I always assume that if you speak French, you have to address the crowd in French. If I'm in France sure yeah not in England I would stick with English I would want the Queen to understand I also think this is actually what some college football coaches do you get on the grass you take a little bit you like oh yeah off like two three blades eat it Djokovic shows that yes at that football guy yeah I mean it's grass it's healthy so yeah it's healthy maybe a little soy sauce maybe have a little soy sauce packet in your sock I'm telling you try it I'm never going to try it and I like skyline chili so I'm not a guy that's afraid to try gross shit soy sauce on pizza bridge too far I just didn't realize I hit a nerve with that tweet we'll stop we're going to try're going to try tennis again.
We're going to try watching tennis again. We'll do that first.
I mean, I would expect you would watch me after this interview. When's your next match? Well, hopefully French Open.
Done. And then after that, Wimbledon.
Done. So is your arm, would you say it's like 90%, 95%? Yeah, probably around there.
I just need a little bit more time to do more rehab, very boring, fun exercises to get stronger, and a little more time on the court to be ready to play. We're in.
Actually, the more I talk about it, I do have another question. I'm here all day, guys.
I'm always curious about the serves. They always have the miles per hour, kilometers per hour, the radar gun set up for the serves.
How closely do you pay attention to that, and do you adjust how hard you're hitting the ball if you're like, oh, that's three miles per hour less than what I know I can do? I actually look at it a lot. I probably look at it too much.
My coach would probably tell me, don't look after every single serve. I look after every single serve.
I just have to know. I love numbers, so I'm just like, I need to know exactly how much that was.
And sometimes when you're in different conditions, I can feel like I hit it harder, but it actually came out slower because the air is thicker. We're in a humid area, like in Miami or something.
And then you go to Indian Wells and Palm Springs, and the ball actually goes faster through the air. So, yeah, I would totally – and I would just try to hit, you know, as hard as I could every time.
I love it. All right, we're Genie's Army.
We're excited for your comeback. This has been a lot of fun.
We appreciate it. Thank you.
I had so much fun as well. Yeah, sorry for some of the dumb questions.
They were mostly not dumb. There were some dumb ones, but mostly not.
What was the worst question that you were asking? Was it the twin one? Was it the twin question? That was just mean. Yeah, it was just mean.
It felt mean. I said it was going to be mean before I said it, though.
So it was like a no offense, but yeah. Yeah, no, I don't know.
I mean, the cleats were a little bit out there. The belief in charging the net no matter what.

Got to.

Interesting.

Always be charging.

That's what they say.

ABC.

I like the aggressive mentality.

Maybe I'll do it more when I play as well.

I love it.

Yeah, just have that

as like a mindset

and then you can always

throw it away at the last minute

but you'll be more pumped up

going to the match.

Like I'm going to be aggressive.

And then my coach

is going to be like

what are you doing?

And I'm like yeah

I learned this tennis thing

from these two guys

that know nothing about tennis. Yeah.
Alright, thank you so much Jeannie. Appreciate it.
Thank you for having me. Love you guys.
Love you too. I was going to say we should take a field trip in August for the U.S.
Open. Come watch me at the U.S.
Open. I'll be there.
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Okay, we now welcome on very special guests. It is the first ever Guys on Guys, and it is with our colleagues, Joey and Pat.
If you haven't listened, out and about, their podcast is fantastic. Thank you.
Mostly sports-centric. Correct.
But these guys are the best. They're very, very funny.
They are, I would say, like, at this point, point this office is pretty much dead but when you guys are in the office you can feel it so that's a compliment thank you and i know you want we had some listener questions but i know you pat brought a gift for billy well i know we sit with billy we share a desk and billy by the way said so he's nervous he's nervous so a lot of times when someone will either be racist or have a slur, they'll be like, oh, I have a black friend or I have a gay friend. And Billy actually said, I sit next to two gay guys.
So he definitely says that on the weekends. He's like, oh, I can't be racist for using.
I can't be homophobic for using this slur. I sit next to two gay guys.
Now, also, Billy said that he was a little bit concerned

because he's fine with all the jokes at his expense

and all the flirtation that goes on.

There's a lot of it.

Well, it's two ways.

Don't get it twisted.

It's two ways.

And he actually initiates it most of the time.

I'm sure he does.

He's like a little minx.

He bats his eyes at a lot of people.

But he said he's fine with that off the air,

but he doesn't want any of that in actual content, which is completely backwards in the way that it should be. Well, he's a closet queen.
Okay. Oh, that's what we call a closet queen.
She does things behind closed doors, but not in the open public. Now, I see him in the men's room doing this quite a bit.
Tapping? Put his hand underneath the old Larry Craig. That's actually my first question.
Is that a thing? People forget that senator, he was up in Montana in an airport, and he stuck his foot underneath a stall and tapped his foot to try to get laid, and then he was like, no, I just have a wide stance. Well, his technique was off.
You're going to want to wear a Chelsea boot. He was in a Timberland.
You're going to need a Chelsea boot, perhaps a wingtip, maybe a triple reinforced heel, and you're going to point. Has that ever happened? Yes.
And have you been like not for me for him it has have you ever been joy have you ever been like oh that's gross the guy's wearing like adidas well no i i peek through the crack like a lady okay see what i'm getting myself into um a lot of times it's not just the men's room and one thing i hate about that is i hate having to like get on your knees and like i'm knees. I'm not a problem with that.
I'm a taker. It's when you have to stick your dick under the stool.
I just like to go into the stool. You've done that? No, I hate that one.
You only service. You've never done the sucking.
I can't get that far down. But you've done the service and you haven't been serviced in the hole.
I've done both. I'm just curious how the physics of that work.
Well, if there's a glory hole, then you's a glory hole, then you just take the hole. But if there's not, you have to go under the stall.
So you like squat and spread. Ew, that's gross.
Not the sex part, but the floor part. Not the sex part.
Yeah, no. Not the sex part.
We're sex positive. Yeah, if there's a hole there, go for it.
I'm just not going to touch the back of that floor. I prefer just to go into the same stall.
I know it says one at a time, but I'm a rule breaker. And I like to live on the edge.
So I like to go into the store with him so I can really do my work, my magic. Okay, nice.
So, Pat, what did you bring for Billy who, again, he sits next to two gay guys, so if you think he's homophobic, think again. Yeah.
Well, Billy is always so, like you said, flirtatious with Joey, and he's always getting bricked up at the desk. He has very high T.
So we got him a little something to help take the edge off when he needs it.

This is an ArcWave Air Masturbator, Bill.

And what you do is you stick your cock in here, and it'll suck it for you.

It sounds like a muffler.

It sounds like a 1994 Honda Civic when you started up.

And if you need something for the spank bank, here's a photo of Joey at the tunnel in 1999, I believe. Yes.
So, Billy, this is for you. Right for the turn of the century.
Wow. That's a glamorous-looking masturbator.
It's like $200. It looks like something you'd find in, I don't know, like a nice store like a Sears or a Brookstone.
Wait, so that's not... A sharper image in the mall.
Yeah. Joey, that's 1999.
Where is that? At the tunnel. That's in the upstairs bathroom.
Ladies' room, to be honest. And where's the tunnel? It was on 28th Street.
And 12th, right? And 12th Avenue. Billy just, by the way, opened it up and gave a good look at the masturbation.
Can you turn it on? Yeah, you've got to turn it on. Can you turn it on? It's quite the piece of hardware.
It looks like a science project. He'll be using that.
Now, that's the charger. You know what's good about that is I have it on my desk.
My cleaning ladies don't know if it's a speaker or what it is. They always find my sex toys.
Wait, is this new or used? No. You have to find out.
We haven't opened it. Just ignore the liquid, dude.
Now, you want to hold? You want to hold? Can I show it to you, Billy? Because my confusion was when I climaxed in here, there's a reservoir, if you will, and I didn't know how to open it. Wait, when you said in here? Not in this one, in a different one.
No. In the studio? Although the seal was broken.
You had to twist it, and that's where all the nut goes. Got it.
Oh, I didn't even know that came off. Now, this is dishwasher safe, okay? And you can feel it.
That's the thing that's going to make your muffled sound. Turn it out so I can hear.
All right, hold on. Ready? Yeah.
Needs to be charged? It's on the back. No.
It's on the back, I think. Really, sex toys, like, they should come, like, two-thirds charged.
No, they are charged. I remember I had trouble with this last time.
One, two, three. Let me read this one.
So you got Bluetooth? Yeah. I can control this from my desk.
Hell yes. Come on.
Talk about something else. I'll try to start it up.
Let's do questions. We have Billy's.

So we usually do guys on chicks where we give advice to women about how to deal with their

boyfriends and different women's needs.

This will be the first ever guys on guys where we have guys asking questions and we give

advice to them.

I love it.

Yeah.

Oh, sorry.

Forgot one thing.

Billy also threw in two questions of his own. You'll have to guess which they are.
Easy. All right.
Oh, sorry. Forgot one thing.
Billy also threw in two questions of his own.

You'll have to guess which they are at the end.

Easy work.

You'll be able to tell.

He won't stop asking questions at the desk.

He's a very curious guy.

He goes, hey, when one guy's taller than the other.

And make sure the charger's on.

And then we can go.

I'll do an instructional video in the men's room with you.

Perfect.

Now, I will grab it by the base hello big coach killer undefeated in the game of the year's cat the team formerly known as the washington pft please don't send me a selfie suit honk billy my hands are no longer weapons football and. And of course, our golden goose boy, Jake.
I love my girlfriend very much. Our sex life is fantastic, but she isn't the best at BJ's and she loves to give them.
How do I tell her to hone her skills? Tough combo. Tough combo.
Isn't the best at BJ's and loves to give them. Same.
You just got to take it, right? How do I tell her to hone her skills, look up some tips without without sounding like a douche Love the show and I think of myself as a man of faith And there's a drive into deep left field So, good question He's looking for tips On blowjobs So that instructional video Is there? I don't know if he's necessarily looking for tips on blowjobs He's looking for tips tips as to, like, what's the best way to make her want to get better. Because it sounds like she likes doing it.
Well, I think, I mean, communication is the first. Maybe you pop on a porno.
You know, maybe you slide into Joey's DMs. Copy what she's doing.
Do what she's doing. You should have a gay guy over to teach her.
Is that the answer? Slide into your guys' DMs. Someone actually did just slide into my DMs asking us for that.
Who? It's probably the same person. Someone's asking for blowjob advice from us.
We can't. I would tell her, I love the enthusiasm.
Great enthusiasm on the field, but we want to do some practice moves. You can do a lot with enthusiasm.
Yeah. But you just got to hone the skills.
If the enthusiasm is there, that's half the battle. That is.
Like 90% of girls and guys don't want to give the blowjob. If they want to give the blowjob, give the blowjob, you just got to coach them through it.
Or just have her teeth removed. Or just have her teeth removed.
I don't want to get this confused. Joey's not saying knock out all her teeth.
Surgically removed. Yeah.
By a medical professional. Well, that could be a fetish as well.
Knock her teeth down her throat and then skull fuck her. Let's skull fuck her.
Munchausen's by proxy, if you will. You just trick her into thinking she has bad teeth.
You say, God, you really should get your teeth fixed. And then you pull the teeth out.
And then, you know, you just never put it back in. Do you think you just start feeding her more foods in cone form? Just like if you're making dinner, just make sure everything is in a cone or on a stick.
And then she gets practice. She gets the reps in, yeah.
Or just show her slowly. Yeah, give her a banana.
And like every time that she bites, just be like, ow. You know how you do that with your dog? With your dog, like you have to like fake like you got bit by your dog if he gets nippy.
Wait, what if the guy, what if this guy, why don't you get a dildo, this is my advice, why don't you get a dildo and suck the dildo the way you want to be sucked in front of her and have your wife videotape it and then also videotape it and then send it to us and we won't share it with anyone. That, I can guarantee will leave an impression.
Yeah. Like, she will remember that.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's very romantic. He's all, he's like, now you're gonna wanna You don't want to lift it up and get right on that that frenulum Put your name on the cock on the dildo just so it's very clear Have we considered the fact that maybe this guy maybe she's not bad at giving head Maybe this guy's bad at getting head.
Oh, yeah, maybe he's got bad head getting tech Well now we're victim shaming. Yeah, and that's not really something we like to get into.
Yeah. All right, Billy.
It goes both ways. Good first question.
Next question. What do gay dudes think of tits? Oh, this is Billy's question.
That's the most Billy question I've ever heard. Oh, great question, Billy.
What do gay guys think of tits? Well, we have a pair of G's at our desk. I had mine removed.
He had hers removed. I used to have big man tits and I had them removed.
But I think, oh man, I think I'm fascinated by breasts. I love them.
I just think the word boobs is funny. Yeah.
There's so many funny names for boobs, but I enjoy a pair of titties. I think there's nothing funnier than just a massively large set of tits.
I wouldn't want to touch them. No, it is funny.
Have you ever had milk come out of a tit? Never had that. Have you tried it straight from the tap? You have a kid? No, I do.
I have two children. You never took it from the tap? No, never took it from the tap.
Willie Colon did that. Of course he did.
Yeah, he goes, I leaned over, I go, baby, I'm thirsty. I leaned over and he sucked it right out.
But I guess a lot of times you have to unclog the tit. The father does.
Yeah, it's the duct. So you got to get a real sucker on there.
Billy didn't think the question was going this way, by the way. My friend used to squirt her breast milk like this across the room.
A little party trick. So Billy's real question is, you never see tits and you're like, damn, that's hot? Never.
They kind of gross me out. Them big utters, get out of here.
Okay. All right, so good question, Billy.
Billy's next question is, are you sure? Yeah. Question two, really? Yeah, and then question three is going to be like, what about a pussy? Ever want to fuck it? What if they're like real hot tits? Okay.
Next question. I would love to hear Joey tell us what someone looks and sounds like when their dad presenting.
Oh. What is this? Wait a second.
They want me to do a straight voice. I think this is what it is.
Okay. So you want to clarify what dad presenting is? Let me just talk about what presenting is first.
Okay, yeah. So you're like straight bro presenting.
Mask daddy presenting. What you appear as.
What you appear as. You're like a chill vibe, like stoner presenting.

Not a drug guy, though.

Not a drug guy.

Billy is bro presenting, frat bro presenting.

And on our show, we always talk about what we're presenting as for the day.

And then he does straight presenting.

He does a straight voice.

So I think, is that what they want you to do? I'm confused.

Yeah, I think so.

But dad presenting would be like a

Probably go maybe a gay guy that looks like he's a father right well. There's dad bods mm-hmm Go ahead rip it let the voice talk about the game last night.
Hey, you catch a game last night, bro We're not live right And it's character

What can I give me a conversation? Is he fucking Kyrie last night? Yeah the crowd. Oh man, I fucking saw that shit I don't know everything about Kyrie is it's like the dudes fucking Whack as hell And then he's fucking gets in the game Throwing the ball down the wrong side of the court.
I'm like, dude, what the fuck, man?

Yeah, you crushed that.

End scene.

End scene.

These are available at the store.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

You guys got new merch.

Also, listen to Out and About.

Pat actually came, visited the beach house last summer.

I did.

And the guy that was renting it out to us turned out to be an Out and About listener. So he called me the next day.
and he was like, uh, hey I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, the beach house last summer i did and the guy that was renting it out to us turned out to be an out and about listener so he he called me the next day and he was like uh hey heard uh somebody talking about my house on one of the podcasts i was like oh fuck what did he say oh but you guys were actually very complimentary i think fights was just talking up his interior design game it was a beautiful house it's too bad we didn't do it earlier they could have saved you 5 000 bucks i know whatever it was it's free ice cream billy free ice cream free ice cream

what you are we gonna say to billy we're just having a side conversation oh yeah i'll about

merch to the ma'am sweatshirt which i ruined during the case race i'll get another one i saw

it in the trash i go who threw this out and i think it was covered in paint yeah paint and

you know whatever sweat grossness all right next one what's up dad cat ghost to pft poppy pat and

Thank you. It was covered in paint.
Yeah, paint and, you know, whatever. Sweat, grossness.
All right, next one.

What's up, Dad Cat, Ghost to PFT, Poppy Pat, and Big J Joey?

Why do my bros not want me to want them to fuck?

I'm sorry?

What?

Why do my bros...

This is a Billy question.

No, no, no.

I'm reading exactly what he said.

Why do my bros not want me to want them to fuck?

They bonk me when I try to encourage them to hit up chicks

or when I ask if their night was successful.

Can a dude not enjoy a video? Why do my bros not want me to want them to fuck? They bonk me when I try to encourage them to hit up chicks or when I ask if their night was successful.

Can a dude not enjoy knowing his bros are bricked up?

I am happily married, so I will admit I try to live vicariously through their single lives.

He wants to suck the girl.

I was going through this exact thought process about the 8th grade.

Okay.

But they are very weirded out by it. Thanks, Honk.
I hope Jake didn't cringe when he tried to pronounce vicariously. I love this guy.
He's just a horny, he's cock hungry, is what it sounds like. He's married, and they always preface that, oh, I'm married.
So it's like, we get more fucking questions. Everyone says, every guy, straight guy listens, he goes, I'm straight and I'm married, but I find you guys so funny.
I just. He he is not living vicariously He is cock hungry and he it's very simple He can't joke.
He doesn't want to do it to his wife and he didn't he didn't explore till later in life He wasn't ready to explore till later in life And now it's too late for him because he doesn't want to you know his wife I would just tell your wife you need to get a cock in you for like maybe one day just get out of your system and then go back to your wife. He needs to get fucked.
That's what needs to happen. Just rip the bandaid.
I do like him saying like I'm married but it's like you're talking to your lawyer and nothing that you can say after that is inadmissible in court. I'm married but every once in a while I go right to that LaGuardia airport and I tap my foot.
There's also I don don't know, he sounds like to me maybe the friend who got married first because that is a creepy thing to walk around to your buddies being like, yo, did you fuck last night? Like being serious about it. Where'd you shoot? Yeah.
Yeah. Do you have any left I can taste? You can root for them without having to ask them every time and having it being a little bit creepy.
Right. We asked Hank one time, and that was one time too many.

What did you ask?

What did you ask?

Did you fuck?

Did you fuck?

What did he say?

He just looked at me.

Is that Hank?

He just looked at me and said, what?

Is that Hank behind the screen?

No, Hank's your boss, Joey.

He's upstairs.

He wears a suit.

He can fire you at the drop of a hat.

I know.

Who's behind the screen, then?

That's memes.

Can I see his face?

Oh.

Smash your pass.

Didn't he used to work in here, though, Hank?

I think... suit I can fire you at the drop of a hat I know who's behind the screen that's memes crazy's face oh smash your past didn't he used to work in here though Hank yeah years ago yeah many moons ago you guys want to walk us real quick through like how you guys met each other and how Joey came on the podcast we met through KFC through Kevin yeah I was bottoming for Kevin and I was filming and next thing you know no he was in for Internet with Snooki back in the day.
And then I was doing my show when I first started it. And I thought about having Snooki on.
They said she's not available, but her best friend is available. And I go, oh, I go, well, I guess we can get him.
We'll see how this goes. And then he came in and we just instantly hit it off.
And then he kept hosting and hosting and hosting. And then they bring him on on full time and that's pretty much it.
You guys kissed on stage. How'd that do for the podcast? Should PFT and I kiss? I would love if you'd kiss right now even.
We do that once a year. So on January 30th, it's Big Cat's birthday.
The 31st is my birthday. So it's like at midnight, it changes over from his birthday to my birthday.
So we play Suck and Blow. We didn't do that.
Suck and Blow? Have you played that for? No. It's so much fun.
But how did it go for the podcast? I'm not great. Yeah.
Now, are we talking for the mental health of us both? Yeah, mental health. Or the actual show.
It definitely helped. It definitely helped.
It put us on the map. They loved it so much.
The women in the crowd went nuts. We were like, oh, we'll do a little pack.
That guy was probably in the crowd watching. Yeah, the guy was probably jerking off in the crowd.
They went so crazy when we kissed on there. It was like.
Well, because they know I haven't had sex in 20 years. We don't want to get into that.
You know he hasn't had sex since 2014? Really? Why? I'm emotionally damaged and I can't trust a man. Got it.
You tried chicks? You know why? That was Billy's next question. Have you tried chicks? I would.
You tried woman? I want to. Would you bottom for a woman? No, I would want to stick it in her.
Oh. He actually fingered his friend on the couch once.
Her name is Jen. Just to see what it felt like he did that at a Christmas party.
That was on my sectionals from Jennifer Convertibles. Yeah.
And I kept giggling so she couldn't finish. I felt defeated.
Joey, by the way, also has maybe the best bio on BarstoolSports.com. Thank you.
If you go to the blogger page, by the way, you're wearing an Iron Maiden cutoff shirt. Yeah.
That's just fashion right there. It says, Hi, my name is Joey Camasta.

I'm a celebrity makeup artist turned comedian.

I'm the co-host of Out and About

and soon to be host

of a top secret makeup project.

I moonlight as an amateur chef

and my three favorite things

are big dicks,

fried chicken,

and impeccably chilled

Sauvignon Blanc.

That's great.

True dat.

Preach.

I love those things.

When was the last time

you had fried chicken

or a big dick? In what order? I had fried chicken Last night And Sauvignon Blanc Now I'm just missing The dick Billy What's up Out and about Can two gay dudes Put their dicks In each other's Butts at the same time Wait what That's called Billy this is you No it this is you. No, it's not.
Billy, this has... We go from boobs to this.
This was next level, like... Billy wanted to go one level deeper with it.
I'm puzzled right now. Are we talking about a classic DP? No.
No, like your guys... My dick in your ass and your dick in my ass.
At the same time. Oh, if you could bend it, probably.
Yeah, you have to have... I'd imagine that, like...
Let's get into a scissor. One person who's blessed needs to be involved in this at least, right? Who's big boned.
Yeah, because, I don't know, the anatomy. How would you do it physically? No, you can't do that.
Unless you could send your dick, like, all the way down, and then, like, you went in and you, like, almost, like, knifed each other. What position would you be in? You'd be, like, sitting on each other, yeah.
Okay, I think I got it. It's one guy on his back, and then the other guy guy on top of him reverse cowboy style.
But his ass is on the floor then. Oh, yeah.
No, but he's sitting butt on top of this but he's got to have like a big long... He's got to have a big dick.
Yeah, he's got to have a boomerang. That like maybe even angles down.
Yeah, it's back to back kind of. Yeah, it could happen.
It could happen. I'm sure if you search Pornub, it's on there.
Cool. Yeah.
Billy's writing that down. He's adding us to his list of experts for this specific topic.
How do you make new friends in your 30s? Thanks, P&T. Oh, this is a good guys on guys.
Yeah. That's a tough one because I have been trying.
Oh, God. Friends in your 30s.
The obvious answer is people you work with that's like the easiest way to make friends yeah but a lot of people who they work with suck and you don't want to be friends with them especially if you're in your 30s it's that that weird age where like the people above you are like you know maybe they're upper management and they're 40s yeah hank you know maybe they're a suit they're fast-tracked like hank you gotta be careful. You can never really open up with them.
Right. Or if they're younger, like Gen Z, you can't relate there either.
I think just go out to the bar. And you make friends all the time.
He'll go out and, like, he'll party with people until 11 in the morning. We met the night before.
I think the best way to do it is a high noon happy hour. Of course I am.
For Bar Silver versus America. Oh, yeah, or that.
But, yeah, so, Joey, you're a social butterfly. Yeah.
it well it's drug induced okay so there's your answer are those like are those friends that you make or are those like people that you have an awesome night with well they're both is there a difference I never hear them see them from them again most of the times I get so many texts like oh like hey like midweek I don't know who the fuck this person is but they're on my phone so I always have to take pictures of the person while I'm fucked up so I remember and put them in the phone so I remember who it is and how I correlation 90% of the time I'm going out to people someone is trying to blow straight guy facts that's a very high percentage and then and then whatever ensues after that initial like contact so either I'm like on my journey to like I start to keep like with a straight guy keeping up with him trying to keep suck him off and then I run into friends with his and girlfriends of his and then it trickles out from there and the girlfriends know him and then they're like oh my god we're such a big fan we love you it always starts with me trying to try to blow a straight guy you do sound like a salesperson almost you were even like reaching out to pen like touching him because you you like you almost have to schedule again and be like, hey, it's me. Yeah, yeah.
And then you're moving them closer and closer to closing them as, like, a done deal. Yeah, so, I mean, exactly.
So just to put a button on it, try and blow them? Try and blow them. Try to blow your friends.
Try to blow some dudes, and you'll meet a lot of new people. Yeah, or what about a singles mixer for, like, friends? Do they have those? Publicity show? Go to a comedy show by yourself.
Comedy show? Go to bar by yourself No one does that Go to the Ramble show I've got two suggestions And you guys can give me feedback On this Is there a lube on this? Somebody hit me up And said A way to get around this lube Or a way to get around The problem of not having Any friends in your 30s Is to buy a boat I think that's I think that's actually A genius move. Now, every other part about buying a boat sucks,

but it will get you friends.

Fake friends.

Fake friends.

Well, you don't need real friends.

You just need fake friends.

Yeah.

Because at the end of the day,

you don't want to open up that emotional damage.

Yeah, that's right.

Fake friends are actually the best friends.

Yeah.

Fake friends are way better than real friends.

And eventually, fake friends,

you just lie to each other long enough

that you become real friends.

Right.

Right.

You don't want to let someone in. No.
That's the worst thing you can do. Alright, Billy, why don't you do two more? Okay.
Uh. What are poppers? Oh.
Do you want to go grab some from your handbag? I could go grab them, but. It's like whiteout.
Not whiteout. It comes in like a whiteout thing.
It's you sniff it and it loosens up your asshole. It's the thing you might have seen on the street on a Sunday morning.
You go for a walk. Maybe take the dog outside.
There's tiny little metal canisters that are laying down next to the curb. Those are whippets.
Oh, is that different than poppers? Yeah, no. Poppers are liquid.
It's ammonium nitrate. That's what poppers are.
It's a jar and you sniff it like this and it's the funnest thing ever. You just laugh uncontrollably.
The way it loosens up your blood vessels, so the blood just rushes through your body, so you have this orgasmic rush through your whole body. That sounds very unhealthy.
Oh, it is. You're sniffing pure chemicals.
It is not good for you at all. Sniffing something to have it loosen up your blood vessels cannot be healthy.
No. No.
And especially it comes with like a, it looks like a Chernobyl sign on it, like radioactive. That makes me even better.
But you go into any gay club, people are sniffing this stuff. He only jerks off with poppers.
I do it every time I masturbate. Otherwise, it won't work.
Right now, Billy's thinking of ways that this could be used for working out. Sounds like a vasco dilator.
It basically is. I'll give it to you at the desk.
You can try and see what you think of it. Does it give you a boner? No, don't give you a boner, but if you're jerking off and you're like you sniff it It's like you just like you can it makes you come like you can't it makes your face like hot and heavy It's but it's not good.
Do you have a hangover from it? Yeah, it's like 30 seconds like 30 seconds. So it's it's like chemical cocaine Yes, a little bit.
Yeah, but more it's more euphoric than cocaine. Okay.
It's like more seconds. It's like 30 seconds.
So it's like chemical cocaine. Yes, a little bit.
Yeah, but it's more euphoric than cocaine. It's more like ecstasy, sniffable ecstasy.
Got it. Is it like smelling salts? It's exactly like that, but it feels much better than smelling salts.
It doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt.
It makes your face feel like a mercury balloon. Can you overdose on it? That's not good.
Can you what? No. Can you overdose on it? No.
I'm sure you can just out, if anything, but you can't overdose on it. Joey's not a medical professional.
I just want to throw that in. Oh, right, right.
True that. Disclaimer.
A bunch of 22-year-old bros in college are just popping and all dying. Well, I listened to part of my take.
If you do want to get fucked in the ass, though, it does help because it makes you very relaxed. Got it.
Okay. Last question.
This has been fun. We'll have you guys back on for sure.
Thank you. Depending on the...
I think people will like this. I think people are going to like this.
There'll be a few people who are like, this was terrible. And I'll be like, oh, they're terrible.
Yeah, they are. Yeah.
Joey, give us one more sports take in your dad presenting. Give me this topic.
The NFL draft's coming up. NFL draft coming up.
Say I'm really looking forward to the NFL draft. It's going to be sick.
I'm getting my script. Kenny Pickett and Malik Willis are two quarterbacks that are going to be sick.
Kenny Pickett and Malik Willis. Make a decision on that.
Are the Giants going to get a quarterback this year? I'm fucking hoping, man. We fucking finally get a quarterback on that fucking team? It's been years.
I know. what was the draft? Well, we got to see what the fuck was the draft coming up.
Maybe we'll get ourselves a fucking quarterback. It'd be nice, right? Kenique Pell, what's her name? Kenny Pickett.
Kenny Pickett. Fuck Kenny Pickett, man.
He's got tiny hands. Smallest hands in the draft.
He's a friend of the show, so. Oh, we love him we love him.
We love him. Is the draft...
No, the combine. That's where they all walk in their underwear across the stage? Did that happen already? He's watched that before.
That's in end of February. Oh, it happened already? Yeah.
I would love to be a fly on the wall there. I said to him today, I go, why don't we tell them we want to talk about the Celtics-Nets series? And he goes, is that a band? Billy, did you ever...
When you played football, did you ever have to do that? Walk across the stage in boxer briefs? No. You're just saying.
Do you want to do a reenactment today? That'd be funny. We can film it.
Joe, you don't watch any sports? I know Pat watches sports. I watch all the sports that are on.
My friends all watch sports. Collegiate wrestling.
Got it. Oh, I love that.
That's how I discovered Gable Stevenson. Yeah.
Have you seen Pat on a basketball court? No. He's the best basketball player in the office.
Oh, wow. I wear many different hats.
No, I'm serious. He's incredible at basketball.
Thank you, Dan. Yeah.
I haven't heard. He looks like Larry Bird.
That's an honor. That was just a white guy playing basketball.
That was all. No, that was sports.
You should have done that in a straight voice. I would have taken it away.
He looks like Rick Smith. I like baseball, though, because you can see their faces.
In football, they wear those silly hats. You can't see their faces.
Well, baseball players are caked up. Yeah, they are.
They're very underrated. Did you see the guy getting hit? He sent it to me before it went viral.
It happened, and somehow it shows up. His algorithm on TikTok is disgusting.
It showed up on his TikTok, and he sent it to me as they were getting ready for the next pitch. It was in my phone.
Amazing. Baseball players' asses are just – I feel like they've gotten bigger even over the last 10 years.
You're damn right. Boys, I have a buddy that loves the Key and Peele slap ass skit even to this day.
At least a couple times a month will slap my ass as hard as he can and say the iconic phrase slap ass or the occasional good game. Am I a bad bro if I tell him he can't slap my ass it's not just me it's nearly our entire friend group thanks bruise cheeks well would you rather have him finger your ass i'd have him slow down and incorporate a squeeze first of all um no maybe because it hurts probably because it hurts a slap that it's a very thin line between a slap ass being gay and it being a sports tap're going hard, it's a tap.
But if you linger, which is what I tend to do, it can become sexual. If you cup, it can become sexual.
I think you've got to go. If it's a flat hand, that's an ass tap.
What's the fingers are pinging? A cup with a wandering pinky? Yeah, you're trying to do something more. Whenever guys touch each other, we also have to make sure that we're hurting them a little bit at the same time.
Just to make sure that they know that we're being straight. We're like, hey, what's up, buddy? And just hit the fuck out of them.
Or a nut tap. Yeah, just hit them in the dick.
I want to touch your dick, but I also want to hurt it. I did like the no homo phrase is no longer PC, but I always thought it was funny when a dude would be like, yeah, I love that guy, no homo.

It's like, you can just say you love him.

And then that evolved into pause.

Yeah, pause.

Pause is funny.

Pause is the new, yeah, that is true.

We should start saying pause around the office.

What does pause mean?

Pause means no homo.

Yeah.

Or it's like if someone says something,

it's like, well, pause.

Like when Billy looks at you during the day

with that lingering eye, you say pause.

Like when I tell Rico that I'll come in his hole. Yes.
People will be like, pause. Oh.
I only know pause up from Lady Gaga. What's that? The Monstars.
Pause up. Monstars.
Yeah. What do you guys do with that bingo machine? We do a lottery.
We're going to do it right now. You want to pick a number? Yes.
Yes. Okay.
Pick any number. One through 100.
I want 38. Oh, okay.
24.

22.

8.

Billy?

69.

3.

6.

4.

4.

Everyone just got to remember their own because I never remember whose numbers are what.

If you guys got this on the first try, that means you actually get part of my take.

Okay. 54.
No, that was be able turn on by. Thanks guys.
It's an honor. And if Billy gives you any shit, just let us know.

Yeah.

All right.

Now,

Bill,

that should be able to turn on by now.

Yeah.

Yeah. We're talking away I don't know what to say I'll say it anyway Today is another day But the fighting Don't let me Take me Take me Take me Take me I've always said it But I feel some little way Thank you.
Dream of me I'll be I'll be I'll be I'll be I'll be I'll be I'll be I'll be I'll be I'll be I'll be I'll be I'll be I'll be I'll be I'll be I'll be I'll be Oh, my God. Thank you.
Take me on me.

Take on me.