Play In Game Recap, The Pat Beverly Show, Craig Robinson (Darryl From the Office) In Studio Plus Things Get Contentious

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On today's part in my take, we recap the NBA play-in games.

We have Hot Seat, Cool Throne, some FAQs for you,

and Craig Robinson, you might know him as Daryl from The Office, stops stops by first guest we've ever had on to do an impromptu song that happened yeah it was awesome little jam session yeah tune in for that um we're we're recording this portion before the game so Nets won by 10 and KD had 55 And Ben Simmons had a triple triple double turnovers bricks air balls calves clippers money line calves clippers money line there you go from from ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working nah neither has ariat ariat work jackets and boots are packed with all the cold stopping waterproof protection you need to get the job done under any conditions

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It's Part of My Take presented by Marshall Sports. Welcome to Part of My Take presented by Coors Light.
Today is Wednesday, April 13th, and the playing games fucking rule. So we're doing this all from home.
The rest of the show is in studio, but we decided for the listeners, you know, we're huge. Ball is life.
We watched all the playing games so we could give everyone a recap of glue girl and Pat

Beverly and the nets and everything.

Yeah.

I mean, I think, I think Skip Bayless said it best.

Whatever happened to Ligon James.

That's the, that's the real storyline, but no, you're right.

Like Pat Bev, this was the Pat Bev game.

I fucking love that guy.

He's the best.

He's the, he's the absolute best.

He's the best agitator. He's the best pest.
He could be a good hockey player. He's fun to watch, man.
And this was personal for him. You saw like a play in peace said before the game talked about in the last show that this was not going to be Pat Beverly against the Clippers.
Pat took that personally. I was thinking about it because it really was like, you know how whenever Patrick Beverly does something it's like oh a Pat Bev moment right on Twitter we had like a thousand of those in one single game tonight I the reason why he is so great and like so much fun to watch we as fans always are like we wish that the guys that we rooted for they obviously care but that they cared like so personally as much as we do and he is like the epitome of that he cares more than any fan that's in there he cares so so much that he like was motherfucking Steve Ballmer he was yelling at every single player like it was so personal for him and it was so much fun fun to watch.
And he and Anthony Edwards put on a goddamn show. Anthony Edwards, I also love when players have a heat check and it goes so poorly.
Anthony Edwards had that run in the fourth quarter where he was dunking, hitting threes, and then they had a four-on-one where he just had, I don't know, three full seconds seconds with no one around him and he completely airballed the three and I was like that's my guy because in life you got to take heat checks and he took a heat check and he missed with an airball but it doesn't matter because he had a hell of a game and it was so much fun to watch the Timberwolves like the crowd was insane everything all of it and the Clippers like the Clippers are the same team as they always are they they're just the same team like playoff P plays really well for a while and you're like damn this guy's so good and then they they give up a lead in the fourth quarter and the team with like younger guys who are more exciting and and want it more end up beating them it's just I feel like I watch the Clippers every year, the same exact story every single year. So back to your point about Pat Bev being the guy that tries as hard as fans think that they would try if they were in a game.
He's not a guy that you want necessarily to be a featured player on your team in a series. He's not going to go out there and win a series by himself, but the play-in game is the perfect environment for Patrick Beverly because it literally is just like one game.
Go out and give everything that you have. And that's the antithesis of what the Clippers are and what they've been made out of.
Paul George had a couple of nice shots. He played pretty well.
I don't think that there's any player in the NBA that travels as much as Paul George. Like dads across America were screaming at their television, just throwing shit out there, being like, they don't call carries, they don't call steps anymore in this game.
More than travels, he's push-off P. He just pushes off on every single possession, which, I mean, there's something about Paul George.
Like when you watch him play, you're like, damn, that guy's really good. But it doesn't really mean Paul George like when you watch him play you're like damn that guy's really good but it doesn't really mean anything like when you like even the the fucking three that he hit at the end when they're down like eight or whatever and it was just a beautiful like he launched a perfect shot from I don't know 40 feet it was like yep that's that's playoff p right there that's that's playing p and and the clippers now have to go fight for their lives and the timberwolves i it felt like justice that both of the seven like the teams with the seven seed was it were the wolves wolves were seven right yeah the seven right it feels like justice like when that happens because i i love the play playing game i think last year i poo-pooed it i I was glued to my television tonight.
I still, part of me feels like it would be so wrong if a seven seed ended up missing the entire playoffs. Oh, for sure.
But it's great that it played out this way. You were glued to the TV.
The fans were glued to the court. A-Rod was spilling Tito's and sodas everywhere.
The environment, I love the environment in Minnesota. And after the game, I think Carl Anthony Towns was the one that they interviewed.
It could have been Anthony Edwards. I'm not sure.
But one of the guys said, like, I think I think this is the first game that we've had all season that's been on television. I don't think that's entirely correct, but I know what he's saying.
Like, it's the first time that I've been exposed as a fan to like watching Minnesota Timberwolves, a home game that gets that loud. I'm I'm actually pumped for that series against the Grizzlies because I think the teams are very similar in terms of like the Grizzlies were always the team, even when they kind of stunk, that would sneak into the playoffs.
And they're the team that would like give the two seed or the one seed absolute hell in the first round because they played so hard. Them against the Timberwolves, I'm glad that we get to see Minnesota and that home stadium a few more times this postseason.
Now, as for the woman that glued herself to the court, the attempted gluing, I did a little bit of research on what she was protesting. Exactly.
What happened? So the woman, so this woman, yeah, Piety will tell you exactly what she was doing, but this woman, the game stopped for a minute. A woman basically just like covered her hand and it looked like elmer's glue like like the glue that you use when you're doing a project in kindergarten not like actual epoxy or gorilla glue that might actually have a chance of sticking and she just slapped her hand on the floor and was laying there it was an all-time visual when patrick beverly another patrick beverly moment was standing over her and a security guard and they're like what the are you doing and her palm print was on the baseline well she stopped the security guard she was like no don't you can't you can't take me off my hand stuck to the court you're not going to be able to move me at all i don't know what kind of glue or ever to set in and it only works if you're if you're literally gluing like a bunch of little tiny stars to a piece of paper it would have been um it would have been great if she were protesting animal abuse with something that was literally made from seattle sews grandson you know like i think it was elmer's which i don't believe is made from horse hooves but she was protesting uh the timberwolves owner, Glenn Taylor.
He has a farm and on his farm, it's a chicken farm. He sold the team to A-Rod though, didn't he? He technically still involved.
He's like doing one of those transitions, like you know how the Wilpons are kind of like around the Mets. He's doing a transitional thing where in 2023 is when A-Rod and Mark Lurie finally take over.
But it is kind of funny because it's like they're glenn taylor's you could have done this i guess the timbrels haven't been in the playoffs a lot but you could have done this at any point that he owned the teams well no no because it's like 25 years what she was protesting wasn't just his chicken farm she was protesting the fact that he very recently had to kill a bunch of chickens because they all got bird flu and so she she's gonna be shocked when she finds out what it is a chicken farm does with the chickens even when they're not sick but that's what that's what she was making a statement about uh it was it was very funny like her pretending that her hand couldn't move off the court and then the handprint that was left afterwards it looked like a csi episode uh it was just a crazy environment i loved watching yeah it was insane and yeah you're right like i don't know her protest this is i bet you pete is going to come out and speak against her because the one thing i've learned about all these protests is pete has got got a shit together and these like rogue animal people always make pita look bad because she looked like a fucking moron with her hand glued to the like what do you think there was some meeting beforehand where she's like all right like i could run on the floor everyone's done that what if i glue myself to the floor with glue that will take 60 to 90 minutes to set in and is literally only used for paper mache, not body parts to wood. It's not even wood glue.
Like if you use wood glue, I would have been like, Hey, good try. Good effort.
It still wouldn't have worked, but at least it would have been the correct glue to get yourself on the, on the floor. It doesn't even really work for construction paper.
The only thing that it's meant for it it's like subpar she would have been better if she had a glue stick that she smuggled in and tried to use one of those things uh you know i don't think that there was a meeting because to have a meeting you have to have friends and she didn't really strike me as somebody that has a vast network but i think you're right about pita that they get it's almost not like they have their shit together but they get jealous they have like a they're warlords PETA's a warlord so if anybody is protesting animal rights uh and they're not under the purview of PETA and not being monitored by PETA then they're like nope they're not part of the tribe sorry we don't yeah we don't allow what she's doing yeah it was um it was an all-time night and we also should mention D'Angelo Russellsell was like incredible i that i loved like the timberwolves have a bunch of young talent and it was like each guy picked a spot like all right i'm gonna carry the team um and except for carl anthony towns who i actually like he has to feel terrible right now because the game changed when he got when he fouled out like it was it was a direct court there was two runs that happened in this game one was the glue girl gun run where she glued herself to the the floor and the timberwolves finished the second quarter on on a hot run and then the second was in the fourth quarter when carl anthony towns who had a horrendous game complained about every foul horrendous game like everyone who's like who who criticizes them and says that he should be so much better than he is and he's soft and all these things tonight was not a night that he proved uh the naysayers wrong and then he gets fouled out and the timberwolves make a run and win that game i don't if you're carl anthony towns i don't need you shouldn't even shower you should go get in your car and be like all right we're in the playoffs. I'll try again on Saturday.
I don't, if you're Carl Anthony Towns, I don't need, you shouldn't even shower. You should just go get in your car and be like, all right, we're in the playoffs.
I'll try again on Saturday. I think he had three assists, four turnovers, five rebounds, six fouls.
And three for 11 from the field. Yeah.
Not a great night for him. And now a little sneak preview of later on this morning on Undisputed, are the Timberwolves better without Carl Anthony Towns? Is the question many people are asking.
Sure. I'm signing up for it.
What are you going to say, Hank? I'm seeing some narratives about people kind of roasting the Timberwolves for celebrating the fact that they won the game. And LeBron posted a bunch of crying emojis immediately after the TNT coverage was showing like Pat Beverly throwing his jersey in the crowd.
NBA on TNT was roasting them. Like this is no different.
Obviously it's, it's new. The play in tournaments new, but this is no different than a, than an MLB team celebrating like the divisional round and NFL.
Like this is a round of the playoffs. The NBA made this around to the playoffs.
If you win at home, you should celebrate. Not only that, but let's, let's give a shout out to.
And LeBron didn't even of the playoffs. The NBA made this a round of the playoffs.
If you win at home, you should celebrate. Not only that, but let's give a shout out to.
And LeBron didn't even make the playoffs. What's he crying emoji? I'm sure Hank would keep that same energy if LeBron had celebrated a planned tournament win, right? Yeah.
Or Minnesota AWLs. Minnesota.
Well, you can't even make the playoffs, so that's not a problem. But they are.
Thenesota franchises can absolutely whenever we say like oh buffalo or cleveland minnesota sports have have taken the cake like now that atlanta's won a couple you know with georgia and the braves minnesota is a absolute factory of sadness the timberwolves had kevin garnett who is a top 75 player of all time they went to one western final with him. Like the twins have lost because I've been in a little bit of a fight with the twins Twitter because they don't post their losses.
People and I actually feel bad because twins fans are like, dude, we've lost 13 straight playoff games. I think that's right.
13 straight playoff games, which is almost impossible to do. And I think they've all been to the Yankees.
The Vikings are the Vikings and Kirk Cousins is their quarterback and they're the state of hockey in the Minnesota Wild just losing the playoffs in the first or second round every year so if you're a Minnesota fan celebrate like this is a championship because it has been that bad and they deserve a young fun team like this you just wish Carl Anthony Towns a little bit better but Anthony Edwards better. But Anthony Edwards, when he dunks, he dunks so fucking hard.
He wants to kill the rim. I love it.
I love watching him play. And that's Tom Crean made, by the way.
That's Tom Crean made. Remember that for the resume.
Tom Crean coached Anthony Edwards at Georgia. He's also a guy that likes to get his eyes above the rim.
I feel like every time I see him thrown down, he's like staring down into the basket, which is always cool to watch. What were you saying? Calling him Ant.
Calling him Ant is a fucking cool thing. I have it on mute, but TNT is just cooking them.
Like they're here. I can't have it on mute, but they're like on that one going replays of them celebrating and like posting like people's tweets and stuff laughing no i don't care i don't care yeah you can't tell a franchise to act like you've been there before when they have absolutely not not only that but sports is about enjoying the ride like you only one team wins what the fuck are we doing you you have to enjoy the ride you have to enjoy these moments if you don't there's no reason to be a sports fan can you imagine telling you're not going to win the title this imagine imagine telling minnesota timberwolves fans like hey don't celebrate until you get to in the nba finals it's like what's what are you going to do why would you ever show up to anything there's no you would never have joy i i have friends from minnesota and it's like literally i i actually remember when kg they went to the western conference final because i was in college at the time and and it was like we've never like well we've never had this and they never had it again like that's what happens with minnesota sports so fuck that fuck all the haters minnesota fans justice for you enjoy the hell out of tonight if i were you i'd watch every single replay of Anthony Edwards dunks and Patrick Beverly screaming at everyone and Carl Anthony Towns fouling out and complaining about fouls um one quick thing about LeBron I don't want to make this playoffs about LeBron but he's going to definitely try to make the playoffs about him did you see he also tweeted um like two hours ago he said I'm sitting here after watching the WNBA draft the other day and wondering why the hell do these young ladies have to stay in school for four years before being able to go pro? I'm confused.
There's no way. There's no way he watched the WNBA draft.
There's a 0.0% chance. If he was watching the WNBA draft, he would have tweeted it during the WNBA draft not 24 hours later being like just a thought I've had on my mind recently well it was taco Tuesday my thoughts it was taco Tuesday his brain was elsewhere he was thinking about dinner all day then he probably had I'm going to check his Instagram see how many stories he had to put up while he was cooking taco Tuesday today but But yeah, I mean, yes, I did see what LeBron had.

I have LeBron notifications set up on Twitter.

There's no way.

That's the best way to use the platform.

Nobody's no way.

Speaking of LeBron, the Cleveland Cavaliers at least advanced farther in the playoffs than he did.

Yes, that's well.

Yes, that's true.

They've they're they're now going to be playing on Friday night.

Let's talk about that game. I have a series of the year bet.
A series of the year. Interesting.
I'm doing a season of the year with the Pirates, but series of the year. Series of the year bet.
I mean, I don't have it right because the fact that you just did it with that transition. What were you going to say, Hank? What's your guess? What was your guess? Well, I was confused because when you said that, I looked at it like there wasn't series odds for the Celtics one.
So my guess was the Warriors, but I didn't feel great about it. But clearly, with the way you just set this up, it's not I don't think it's good for me.
No, I well, I guess it's depending on if you think I'm bad at my series of the year bets i think the souths are going to beat the nets oh i watched like that game tonight the kev kairi didn't miss a shot for three quarters and the calves were shooting 40 the calves didn't play good they're almost one watching that game yeah kairi irving played perfect basketball keant was, you know, obviously Kyrie Irving was going off, but they were doubling him. So he was, he was facilitating more than he, you know, usually does.
He could probably Kevin Durant could score 35 any night he wants. But I watched that game being like the nets just don't have any defense and the cap, like the nets are playing perfect.
And the calves are still in this in this game. That game made no sense when you're watching it.
The way the Nets were playing, they would be up 20, and you'd be like, game over. They're up 40 to 20 to start after the first quarter, and then because they can't play defense, the Cavs would just keep coming back.
Hank, I'm sorry, but I think that the Kevin Durant, Kyrie Irving Netsets have been vastly overrated and everyone's scared of them. I think the Celtics are going to beat them in six.
I mean, here's your bet. Minus 115.
I like that a lot. I think the Celtics are way better in terms of team basketball.
They're a million times better. Kevin Durant's like probably the greatest like pure score probably of all time.
And he took over in the fourth quarter going against that's never fun.

But I agree with you that the Celtics are way, way better team and they have way better defense.

Obviously, they don't have Robert Williams, but still like their team defense should help with that.

And I agree. I'm with you.

The Nets have to play perfect basketball.

They have to have Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving play perfect basketball.

And I wasn't like I didn't have an opinion on this series before tonight, obviously, because it wasn't set.

Thank you. play perfect basketball they have to have Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving play perfect basketball and I I wasn't like I didn't have an opinion on this series before tonight obviously because it wasn't set but when I saw that it was like it's PFT I think it's minus 110 Celtics to win the series and I was like what's going on here I think you're insane actually I think that the Nets are going to want the Celtics I really I really do I think it's going to be a whopping because they yes it's going to be w-h-o-m-p a whopping i-n apostrophe when they want to play well they can play well they are the rare team that i think the switch can be flipped on and so celtics but but they couldn't even flip it tonight because the calves kept on coming back back.
They did though. They, they were flipping it on and then flipping it off.
You could, you could pinpoint the moments do that. I think they flipped it on.
You can't do that. I think the Cavs have their, like their best players are injured and they still almost won the game.
Cause they're scrappy as fuck. And they're a great team basketball team.
So that's why they kept it close. The Celtics minus Robert Williams have their best players.
Like I, I listen i'm not i i i'm gonna wait to i'm gonna look at it more so i'm not gonna release it yet i'll release it if i release it it'll be like on friday i just don't i i saw that line and i was like what why is everyone because you know obviously the conversation going into this weekend last weekend was like everyone's trying to avoid the nets and I get it. Obviously the nets are way better than the bulls right now.

The bulls are fucking complete garbage.

So the bucks were smart to do that.

I just don't,

I,

I don't know.

I have a prediction.

So also playing into my prediction here is I do think that Ben Simmons is

coming back.

I think that he's ready.

I think that they're, they've just been waiting to get them back out there. You saw him.
Let me ask you this. A guy that is going to be out for the remainder of the playoffs, do you think he would sit directly in the middle of the bench wearing a neon green leprechaun Notre Dame mascot uniform with shorts? That was like, that's Ben Simmons.
Yes. I think I would love it if he comes back.'s not like they're not gonna know how to play with him and by the way i i've never noticed this about ben simmons tonight from like the waist up he's not like an enormously tall guy his shins are gigantic his shins were like half a foot taller than anybody else that was sitting down on the side his knees were so high it's It's crazy.
I mean, he's a very tall guy, 6'10". I do think that he's going to come back.
I think that he's ready to come back. Here's the other thing that made me think that this might be a series of the year bet.
After the game, I think it was Bruce Brown said this when he was like, we're going to just attack them because they don't have Williams because he's hurt still. And Kevin Durant then went and corrected him and was like, whoa, whoa, like that's, I think he said like that.
That's crazy. Like every game is going to be tough.
This is going to be a difficult team. I, I don't know.
I just, they had like the number one round again, Robert Williams being out is bad, but he was one part of a, the Celtics, the second half of the season, like, have played unbelievable team basketball and unbelievable defense. Like, they're going to be absolutely, like, ready to fight.
It's not going to be a whomping. A whomping is cap.
It's no knock on... It's no knock on KD and Kyrie.
They're clearly incredible. I just don't know how defensively they can play seven games and like get stops when they need to i i trust the south to get a stop before i trust trust the nets the watching tonight's game the calves the the nets should have beaten the calves by 40 and they should have been over after the first quarter she's been like all right this game's over and they just the calves just kept on coming back and i guess maybe it's more scrappy Cavs, but I just watched.
I was like, what the fuck? I think it's scrappy Cavs and they kept coming back, but it was never, it never felt super close. It never felt like the Nets were in any real serious danger.
They'd be, you know, within like five, six points, whatever that was. But every single time that it got that close, the Nets just, they flipped the switch again.
I think, I think the Nets are just that good. And Hank, okay'm okay.
You don't think it's going to be wamping. I think it's going to be wamping.
I think it's not going to go seven. That's what I mean.
I think it's Nets and five Celts and five Nets and six. So if it doesn't go seven and your team and the Celtics win, I'll stop saying cap forever and likewise you have to stop saying i want to nip

that in the bud i hate hearing you say cap all right did you see that commercial where the dude says cap and then the way and the lady's like oh and i was like oh that's part of my take yeah like they just stole our bit but it's not a bit because pft says it no no i brought, I brought Cat back. Yeah.
That game, though, obviously, I mean, Kyrie was insane. It was insane to watch him.
What did he end up from the field? He was at one point he was 11 for 11. 12 for 15, three of six from three, seven of seven from the line.
That's crazy. He was so, so good.
And i said kairi or katie didn't even like have to assert himself offensively until the very end but it is scary he is he's the best in the nba he is he is the best score in the nba what about our friend blake is blake where's his health at right now we got blake issues boys he's getting iced he's getting iced out all the Blakes are yeah we we are only the only Blake that's doing well right now is the original Blake in Bortles because he's you just know even if he's not playing on a team he's just happy well because he's yeah you know that he's doing awesome because he's unemployed and it's about to be summertime that's awesome you can't you can't have a better career than that that's the goal i did talk to blake griffin a couple days ago yeah he's ready to go so let's put him in put him in coach let's get him in let's get him some minutes let's get him some it's playoff basketball time you need people out there doing the hard shit um and blake's ready to go yep yep so i couldn't set it better myself Put put blake in give blake some energy to spark plug that that might be what the nets need to toughen up a little bit he's going to go out there and blake's going to give you six hard fouls we got to go to one of the games yes we should go to one of the games we absolutely will go to one of the games so i'm not i'm i'm holding back my series of the year bet until friday i'm going to decide but that's the way i'm leaning leaning. I just, I saw that price and I was like, even if it goes seven, I would trust the Celtics at home over the nets.
I don't PFT. You think it's a whopping? I think it's a whopping guys.
I don't care where they play the games. You can play it anywhere.
You play in the Hoosiers gym. You play.
I don't care. Jake, any cool things that you, do you think Patrick Beverly was maybe yelling too much? No, it was awesome.
But I understand why people are mad. Also, Big Cat, Minnesota fans are going to come after you because you forgot the Minnesota Lynx have won four WNBA titles since 2011.
That's LeBron's fault. He should have reminded everyone tonight.
If LeBron had any couth, he should have tweeted uh minnesota fans why are you celebrating like this you got a dynasty in the wnba that would have been that would have been a tweet i would have gotten behind from lebron right also the uh the grizzlies versus timberwolves logos are way too similar in terms of colors i don't know if you've seen them side by side. Yeah, it's interesting.
I do think that the well, I miss the old Grizzlies uniforms. Those were maybe the best.
They wear them sometimes. Yeah, it's always so cool when they do.
And I always think Bryant Reeves, big country Reeves. That's what those old Vancouver Grizzlies remind me of.
I do think that the Timberwolves have awesome jerseys, though. Very underrated uniforms.
Yeah, they do. I'm excited.
The playing game, good job, Adam Silver. Like I said last year, I'm pretty sure I shit on it because I am, like, deathly afraid of a team.
I'm going to look it up right now. But, like, the idea that a team could win, let's see.
Yeah, like, for instance, the Timberwolveswolves the idea that the timberwolves could somehow miss the playoffs and they have 12 more wins than the spurs that would like piss me off to no end do you know what i mean that would be that would make me so angry to be like how is that how how can you have that happen when a team like the spurs are 34 and 48 and could make the playoffs? Guess what? Ball don't lie. Ball don't lie.
So we got the results we wanted tonight. Those were good games.
The two home teams won. The two higher seeds won.
Hank, you are now in a – it's Hank versus Frank. You're in a fight to the death with Frank Fleming.
Well, I think me and Frank are probably on the same page that the nets are bad. So that, that part is good.
I also have weighed a humongous amount on the Pelicans to make it to the playoffs, which means they have to win today as you're listening and then beat the Clippers, which is a revenge game for our, our bet first time in new Orleans. So I don't know about that now.
Now that it's all kind of played out.

Well, it's like they played at the end of the regular season.

They could have clinched a playoff berth.

They got smoked.

Hopefully that doesn't happen again.

Yeah.

I don't feel great about it.

I don't feel great about it.

They have to play on Wednesday night and then fly to LA.

Yeah.

Yikes.

Wednesday night in New Orleans and they have to fly to LA right after the game to go play the Clippers anything can happen but it's but it's playing P yeah he's come on and either of those teams just can get smoked by the Suns so that's actually the best part of tonight is that the Timberwolves didn't deserve to get smoked by the Suns like that they can they can win a couple games against the Grizzlies the Playing against the Suns would have been very, very bad because the Suns are that good. Cavs might beat the Heat.
Hank, you... Hank just lost the Heat.
This is Hank chasing his bet. You saw it, dude.
They're scrappy as fuck. Hank is the dog in the fire sipping the coffee just being like, the Cavs could beat slim fill in team.
They almost beat them tonight. Imagine they had Jared Allen.
But they didn't really almost keep it close. They were like two possessions away in the fourth quarter.
But they never took the lead. No, but it was close-ish.
They covered.

They did cover easily.

It's true.

Yeah.

All right.

Hank, I know what you're doing, and you were right about the Cavs when you put a bet on them earlier this year.

I think that's what you want is to be acknowledged

that you were correct about the Cavs.

You were.

You were.

You were the only person in all of media.

I lost the bet.

Across the board.

Yeah, but you were still right, even though you were wrong. You were more right than anybody else was about the Cavs.
So I think you can take your victory lap on that, but let's not get delusional here. That might be my series of the year.
But they might not even make the playoffs. We'll cross that bridge when we get there.
That would be perfect, though, if they didn't make the playoffs. Hank could always say forever, like, that Cavs team would have beaten that Heat team.
Yes, if they just got, if Jared Allen came back, which, is he coming back? I love Jared Allen. I don't know.
He was questionable, and then he was ruled out. He's probably not going to be back full strength either way, but if they win on, what is itursday then i think i'll be back for miami friday friday yeah um all right and the in 330 uh is your game on sunday hank i'm at 6 30 so it's nba playoffs and we're we credit to us it's one o'clock in the morning bubba and memes are still at the office so is evan we're we're we're in playoff mode yeah shout out the boys for getting the YouTube's up early yes all right let's go to the rest of the show in studio a little contentious before we get to the rest of the show quick word from our friends at Roman you know when you're wearing a great outfit everything just looks right your confidence is soaring you can walk into a room knowing you're on your a-game if you've been struggling roman can give you that same feeling the folks at roman an online men's health company are changing the game with roman swipes the secret to longer lasting sex roman swipes are clinically proven way to last longer in bed they're effective easy to use and fast acting but don't require a prescription roman can ship swipes to you in discreet unmarked packaging and each swipes packet is small enough to hide in your wallet for whenever you need it they're super easy to use just take the swipes out of the packet swipe it on let it dry and you're good to go that's it go to get roman.com slash take to get ten dollars off when you choose a monthly plan that's get roman.com slash take get roman.com slash take okay let's get into the rest of the show we have craig robinson coming up um anyone send any cool text messages the last 24 hours we're doing this well i we have to bring it up yeah fire fest yeah we got a couple days we can't for that long yeah hank i just want to say before you you walk us through what's been going through your mind and how you feel i just want to say i'm on your side on this i don't know what you're talking about and neither so so yeah so let me explain it so um i was sitting minding my own business at home on monday night i was actually putting my my kids to sleep and i get a text message and you're a father yeah i'm a father too i got bothered by you hank uh with this text message sorry to your one kid that's two trolling me my bad well actually it's three thanks billy and you too because now i have to worry about what you're gonna text to everyone so four this is hank lashing out right now big time contentious i don Oh, no.
Yeah. Jake's nervous.
So there was a text message thread that Caleb, our great colleague Caleb, started six years ago at the Super Bowl. It was me, Caleb, Dave, Gaz, and Hank.
We were at the Super Bowl. I think it was probably after our late night of drinking.
It was 3.23 in the morning. He texted everyone, good night, fam.

I texted one love because I love you guys.

And named the group.

Named the group, fam.

No text messages on that group chain for six years.

Flash forward to last night.

And Hank sends us a picture of just a sweaty face staring deep into our souls.

His sweaty face.

And it says F45 day one check mark.

And we're all like, huh?

And I actually didn't even, I looked at it, I was like, oh, this is weird.

And then I just kept on doing what I was doing.

And then an hour later, Hank was like, whoops, I meant to send this to my family.

And since then, yeah, it's pretty much the worst people you could ever send a text message to.

Me, Dave, and Gaz.

The internet has memed you.

And I'm uncomfortable with you in the room.

I submitted an HR complaint because you snitch unsolicited.

That's a snitch.

That's a suit energy.

Because you're my boss now.

I'm not.

And you work on the third floor.

And the power structure.

You just invent these things for your narrative.

Thank you. Because you snitch unsolicited.
That's a snitch thing. You suit energy.
Because you're my boss now. I'm not.
And you work on the third floor, and the power structure is so off that you send me a- There is no power structure. You literally send me nothing has changed.
Hey, you sit on top of us. Yeah.
You sent me a picture that made me feel uncomfortable, and then you tried to silence me by calling me a snitch. That's fucked up.
It is a snitch move.word or did bft i did because you turned him into hr you said all that on the streets when when i turned him into hr i actually just went upstairs i was like where's hr and they like just pointed in the corner and i just said out loud i'd like to file a complaint against hank and then walked back downstairs hank does sit in the corner office upstairs no i said i sit with hr so i took the complaint and just fucking see it's the shredder. You control it.
This is the power structure. This is corruption all the way down.
So, Hank, I'm uncomfortable being around you, but I guess I have to power through. Credit to me.
I feel like you should be supporting me. I don't know.
Like, again. No, I don't want that picture.
Caleb, I blame. I'd say 48% of the blame is on Caleb.
48% of the blame is on Loud Sean for spiking my phone, which forced me to get a new one, which when I turned it on, all the messages repopulated, but only from Saturday night. That was the last time my cloud updated, which was, who cares? It was a day's worth of meaningless text messages.
But this group text, the PMT group text, my friends from home, and my family group text didn't show up. And I was like, whatever, new phone blues.
I but this group text the pmt group text my friends from home and my family group text like didn't show up and i was like whatever new new phone new phone blues i texted this group literally just to make sure like things were going through um and then yeah i worked out again new phone so i was sweating and i didn't think the flash was on like i'm not used to my flash on my selfies being a shocking picture so i typed in fam because that's what my family group text is called and i don't know i'm again i wasn't factoring in this fucking super bowl crew from six years ago typed in fam you say that like that's your fam it's not my fam yeah it is not that that fam was the first time i ever hung out with the company as a whole i remember you know what You know what? That was probably post-second slices at the House of Prime Rib. Yeah, House of Prime Rib.
And that's your family. Or your family.
Was my family. And you just...
I mean, I'm just... I don't know.
The best was that Hank texted me after on the side. Either way, I went back and texted, and when I realized that it was those three, I pretty much got paralyzed from embarrassment.

Once I realized it was Gaz.

I said it earlier.

If it was maybe Caleb and Big Cat, you probably would have posted it,

but maybe wouldn't have, or I could have talked you out of it. It would have been 50-50, yeah.

Gaz probably definitely would have.

Dave probably wouldn't have just because he wouldn't have known what was going on,

and Caleb wouldn't have.

But the fact that it was all three of you just piling on was just, I knew it was no shock. Hank sent me a text after he's like,

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm in a really long time.
And it just made me so happy because it's like this guy, he's been promoted to vice president of Barstool sports. He's literally our boss executive vice president.
And he's still, but it's nice because we can do like a throwback 2014 hank embarrasses himself you just when you thought that the suit had gotten you know you'd graduated i don't think it was anything to be embarrassed i thought you looked good you looked like you were in shape it was just such a weird picture like it wasn't like i wasn't thinking like when you take a selfie sometimes you take a picture and i don't know again i don't know what i was thinking i don't what I was doing. I thought I was sending it to my flesh and blood.
I was actually sending it to literally. Would they have been as scared as I was? That was my biggest question out of this, Hank.
Yes, good job. How was it? I understand how it's.
Here's me playing paddle tennis. I understand how it's embarrassing.
This is my wordle score. It's family shit.
It's not like. I don't really drop in that much.
I'm probably the least active. You'd never do it again they're kind of like you know why don't you ever update us i'm like i don't really have much update i'm like oh i worked out like here we go yeah that was my biggest question because i understand how the mishap just happened but the big question is why why are you sending your family sweaty photos of yourself after working out it was just like you know here what here's an update like i don't play wordle i don't like also it didn't prove that you worked out it just it could be like your air conditioning couldn't have worked like you weren't at the gym you were just sweaty and scary i actually listen it was a mistake like it wasn't something i really thought out it was just like here's a quick little text message, and no one's going to see it.
The memes were very funny.

Just to my family.

And then, yeah, fucking we had.

That's where I was like, I regretted anything I've ever done to help memes.

I regretted it in the past two days.

Memes went new clear.

Memes blacked out.

When memes smells blood in the water, it's all over.

When he sees a new meme template just hit the internets, it's like over for a while.

His timeline was like 100 tweets.

Yeah, I'd imagine memes just like tells. I don't know.
I think he might live with his parents. He's like, Mom, clear my schedule.
I got memes to make. There's going to be a couple things he works in.
One, he's absolutely going to do the Vin Diesel, the goodbye to Paul Walker with it. He's probably going to work in a Castellanos here or there.
But I think that when I first saw it, it came through on my radar from Tom Fornelli. No, because it's interesting, Hank.
It came through. I thought it was a sports podcast.
Well, you were working out. F45.
Tom Fornelli sent it to us, and I looked at it, and he said, Hank's down bad. That's the worst part.
I don't want to go back. I don't understand why Hank is down bad, and I checked Twitter like 20 minutes later, and I was like, oh oh now i get it but i thought like this might be just a sneaky way of hank letting everybody know that he was in the gym yeah like that's pretty cool no but like it's worse because it's day one and like yeah who knows if it's gonna last and now it kind of has to last oh yeah it's like you better get that six-pack in 30 days we were days, people are going to be like, what day?

Which I guess isn't the worst. It's forcing me.
I've been publicly shamed to continue working out, which is probably good for me. But just really, really bad.
Really, really embarrassing. I was laughing so hard last night.
I didn't move from my couch, and I tried to just tweet through it. I tried to just bet the Padres Giants first five innings over and just tweet about that a bunch.
Yeah. It didn't really matter.
No, there was like 10 runners left on base. Second and third every single inning for both teams.
It was disgusting. I think that was the last thing I talked to Hank last night.
He just texted me. He's like, I really need five runs in these first five minutes.

Yeah, which you should have done is just go on.

That would have been a good – a little bit of like – You should have just gone on a retweet spree and played ratio defense like Adam Schefter's playing right now.

There was no positives.

Where you just retweet everything and then you can't be ratioed.

I had nothing to – there was no one in my corner.

There was no one like, oh, this is funny or like, you look good.

It was just like, what the fuck?

And a million memes, most of them from inside the house yeah the calls coming from inside the house all right well i mean but you know shit happens congrats on the workout hank you i i also i also think hank is now at the point between the coach k like the fact that he works like a nine to five and has to put on a suit every day and this picture he this boy needs the celtics to win the title like we have now somehow gotten into over it's never happened in the history of this podcast where people should actually be rooting for hank's teams because they need to win on purpose no i'm not i'm not we've never been on a goal this is literally uncharted territory for us as a podcast you're such a winner I've talked about it I'm up good I'm up great what is it down bad I'm up good you're up good well at least your favorite quarterback wasn't planning on coming back to play for the Dolphins as a team owner that would have been tough wait so is that a story I saw the rumblings of that story I mean there's about as good what like you just you just live in fantasy land like Dan Snyder's going to sell the team. Tom Brady's going to play for the Dolphins.
Come back to Earth. He went after me for being a dad.
Now he's coming after you. This is exactly what happened.
Tom Brady was going to take those meetings. He was going to come and play for the Dolphins.
He was going to get Sean Payton to be the head coach of the Dolphins. He hates the Patriots so much, and you personally so much, that he wanted to stay in the building.
It's literally fan fiction.

I'm telling you why.

You and your dad are just right

fan fiction for clicks.

Because of the Brian Flores lawsuit.

Florio does borderline on fan

fic sometimes. He had a tweet today

about Aaron Rodgers is going to

miss OTAs, and it's like,

I fell for it. I was like, oh, is he going to hold out?

Can he hold out? That's what's beautiful. The NFL does need like a what if guy.
And he's the ultimate what if guy. Like, oh, they're already mad at each other.
But I think you could also spin that to be like Bill Belichick actually released that text message. No, listen to me.
I'm not even listening to anything you're saying. Bill Belichick sent that text message to Brian Flores telling him like, oh, congrats on the job, that whole thing.
He sent that to him so that Brian Flores would then sue, prompting Tom Brady to not be able to play for the Dolphins. There it is.
That actually adds up. If it were something that happened, that would – but again, you're writing fan fiction because it all makes sense.
Well, we're in a lull right now. NBA playoffs haven't fully started.
You know, baseball just started. We haven't gotten to hockey playoffs yet.
So, you know, posting gym selfies and getting mad about Tom Brady hypotheticals is what we have to do for content. Why? I feel, am I wrong? Or did hockey playoffs start before the NBA? Something happened this year.
I don't know what.

Did they have a break?

My internal clock has been so thrown off.

It always used to start.

It used to be like a week before.

The trucker convoy.

Slowed it down.

Yeah, they don't start until March.

I mean, May.

May 1st or 2nd is the first hockey.

So it's going to end after NBA?

Yeah, I guess so.

Although they do it a lot faster.

Remember the NBA gets in that stretch where it's like three games. Yeah, three games.
It's like three days off. Yeah, they take forever off.
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Okay, Hank. Hot seat, cool thrown.
My hot seat is Philly. Oh.
You're just leaning into this, huh? No, not actually. This is just nice.
It was funny, but then the guy had a good response. Alec Baum, I don't know if you guys saw the clip.
Yep. Made a bunch of errors.
And then when he was walking off the field, said he fucking hates this place and and so yeah talking about philly he's a philly's player so he's a philly's player he had three errors on the night he said i fucking hate this place i was like in a in a all in on crazy turn of events because there was a lot of lip readers i love when lip readers get going on the internet because it's it's kind of like the dress uh you know which one you see or what was yanni yanni or laurel uh people were saying he he's he was saying let's get out of this or something like that this position yeah position people were trying to say that he actually in his post game did like the reporter asked him he's like yep i said that it was a moment of like anger and i had the quote yeah give me the quote said it Emotions got the best of me Do I mean it? No It's a frustrating night for me These fans They just want to win They're great I'm sorry I didn't mean that And I think that actually Ingratiates him to Philly even more I think actually The more you hate Philly The more you love it Right I think it's totally appropriate Even people Philly fans probably hate Ph philadelphia say i fucking hate this place right but that just means that you know philly so well yeah you love each other right it's it's it's a love-hate relationship but it's at the same time yeah no i was actually kind of like i saw his response like holy shit that was because he could have easily easily said he said something else and it just becomes a you becomes a story that everyone talks about. He completely, like this is a PR 101 masterclass.
I said it. I was emotional.
I don't mean it. Move on.
And it's like, yep, I actually like this guy now. The truth will set you free.
Yeah. I think Philly will respect that.
Yeah. In fact, like just based off what I saw on Twitter last night, all the Philadelphia fans that were replying to the story were like, yep, he gets it.
Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
All right, your cool throne? My cool throne is Nikola Jokic. Yeah.
He, it appears it's not official, but a bunch of the, I mean, the MVP, NBA is just weird. All the writers say who they voted so people put it together and realize Jokic is going to win again.

I was looking at the list.

We should try and get Jake a vote one of these days.

We should, but I have a question for everyone.

The Ringer has 12 votes.

Really?

That's entirely too many votes for the Ringer.

Rosillo voted for him.

They all go to Jason Tatum.

I would vote for Jokic.

I would vote for Jokic if I had a vote. He had a ridiculous year, and he plays with no one.
I voted for Embiid, personally. Do you want to have a debate? I think Embiid wins matter.
They have pretty much the same amount of wins. Wins matter, though.
Not as many as last year, though. Who? Jokic.
He's also missing two guys. And the wins matter thing doesn't really work when the Sixers are the four seed.
Yeah, because he didn't play with Simmons, the Harden got hurt. I'm just debating on their side.
Yeah, there's been a very hard push for Embiid. I just think Jokic just played with no one, and he does everything.
But what I was going to say, the MVP debates to me or might be for professional sports they mean nothing like i don't remember do you remember any mvps uh yeah like you remember some but you don't remember all like it's not something like oh i remember that you remember who wins i don't know i remember i remember carson wins got two mvp votes. Here you go.
2010. Any MVP.
Give me any MVP from any league, Hank. See, this is my point.
This is my point. I think it was LeBron.
Tim Duncan. Tim Duncan, okay.
Dirk, I don't know. Maybe it was, yeah, it could have been Dirk.
LeBron James. LeBron.
I was right. 2008.
That was right before he left. 2008.
Miami. Any MVP? LeBron.
No. Wasn't KG.
This is my point. It wasn't Paul Pierce.
Kobe. Kobe.
I would have got there. Oh, you were going to get there? Yeah, I was trying to think of who else would have been involved.
Then you go back and be oh they were an 8 time MVP Yes of course but I'm saying like in a certain Who was the NFL MVP in 2008 Brady Peyton Manning That was bullshit Who was the MVP in 2012 Any MVP This is a game called Chris Johnson Drew Brees It Brees. It was...
I'm not looking this up. I just looked up LeBron.
I think it was Adrian Peterson. Wasn't that his year? It might have been.
Let's see. I'm looking it up right now.
Adrian Peterson. Yeah.
Alright, so there we go. I guess we do remember some.
MVPs matter. MVPs matter.
I just like... I don't know.
There's something about... I think, like Jake said, it at at the end of your career when you're like that guy's a three time MVP then it matters like Steve Nash has two MVPs it's good during a player's career too so that you can make the argument if you're getting into a debate if you find yourself in a situation where Hank you're arguing against the entire city of Philadelphia it would be good for you if Jokic won the MVP yes yes alright good hot seat cool thrown Hank Good job, Hank, you're arguing against the entire city of Philadelphia, it would be good for you if Jokic won the MVP.

Yes.

Yes.

All right.

Good hot seat, cool thrown, Hank.

Good job, Hank.

Hank's back, guys.

Hey, you guys are the real MVPs.

Nice.

Remember that?

Who said that?

Kevin Durant.

During?

The 2013 season?

I think that's right.

Might have been.

Do you remember who he was talking to?

The reporter?

No, his mom.

No, I think it was his team.

No shit, obviously.

No, it was his mom.

Yeah.

Hank.

I thought you were talking about the reporter.

You're the real MVP, Hank.

Yeah.

14, 2014.

Mr. Vice President.

Damn.

Damn.

All right, Pifty, your hot seat with Throne?

My hot seat is Dan Snyder.

For real this time.

Oh.

Legitimately Dan Snyder, you crusty old bitch. You energy vampire.
You piece of shit. I'm just falling into the Alex Jones thing where he yells at the camera.
But there was a report that came out of Congress where Congress has been looking now into Dan Snyder's finances. Wow.
They caught the fucker. And here's why I think that it's real.
Okay? Because I've fallen into this trap literally every time. Shut the fuck up, Hank.
I'm talking right now. Who's talking? Hank, you had your turn.
Even blogs about speculation. You had your turn, Hank.
Now it's my turn. Hate this.
Hate this. Hank, mute yourself for the rest of this conversation.
So, as we discussed, when John Gruden got busted with those emails, right?

Correct.

And Adam Schefter was reporting on it, he pulled the clean sweep. He insulted females, minorities, and NFL commissioners.
Yes. That's it.
That's all the protected classes. He's the owner? Shut the fuck up, Hank.
Dan Snyder has now been busted sexual harassment. He's been busted for persecuting minorities.
And now the clean sweep roger goodell has been implicated too because some of the ticket funds that dan snyder was misallocating actually came underneath roger goodell's tickets under his name for tickets that he was given to games and so now it's like roger goodell's name is front and center in this i think dan snyder is done. I think that motherfucker is done.
I think, I think he's going to get curb stomped by the rest of the owners. And also it's been proven through the other books that have been released.
Now the documents that have been sent to Congress, that he was taking money out of the pockets of Jerry Jones, out of all the other owners. And if there's one thing, like you can have 40 sexual harassment claims against you.
If you take money from the other owners, that's when they're going to do something about it or maybe they won't if it's the doomsday clock it's never been closer to midnight than it is right now i'm fucking pumped i'm gonna have a parade when dan snyder goes when he's done i cannot wait get the fuck out of here you crusty old five foot five bitch fuck you i hate you causes, but quickly. Okay.
I'm looking forward to it. Jake is not happy.
Jake is not happy right now. I mean, I'm rooting for you.
It doesn't sound like you are. I am.
I just, how many times does this guy just have to skirt by before we're like, hey, he's just never going to go away? What gruden and dan snyder uh people actually like john gruden well dan snyder also owns the team yeah he owns the team right but he's a big difference there another big difference is dan snyder's taking money from other owners who are the ones that get to decide whether or not he stays in the league i'm rooting for you i just don't think i just the guy survived everything he's a fucking he's a zombie he's a zombie owner that will not die so it's more like i just don't think I just the guy survived everything. He's a fucking he's a zombie.
He's a zombie owner that will not die. So it's more like I just don't I never he gets out of everything.
You got to double tap him. He gets out of everything.
He's done. He gets out of everything.
I would I would literally give anything for anybody in the world besides name anybody in the world. I would rather they be the owner of the Washington Committee.
Yes, yes, absolutely. Bring Putin over here.

Maybe he would stop invading other countries

if he could. Put that on a quote card.

PFT wants Putin over Dan Snyder.

Putin is never...

OJ. Yes.
Oh, 100%.

OJ? Yes.

I guarantee you Dan Snyder's killed more people than OJ.

You think so? Through grief

and sorrow and stress.

That's true. He's almost killed me multiple...
And that that fucking stadium it's a death trap falling apart i would rather live in kiev than spend all my days and nights underneath the cement columns of fedex field yeah it's a death trap people are gonna die i'd still probably pick lando lando raljong raljong maryland actual war zone personally you haven't been to FedEx field, have you? I mean, personally, I would rather think so. I'd rather pick Raujohn over getting bombed every day.
Well, it's the same thing mentally. Okay.
My cool throne is water and hydration. I'm in a battle right now against water Twitter, which I didn't know was a thing.
But maybe you guys can help me out because there's a mystery that I've been meaning to ask you guys about in the internet in general for the last several months. I've got a neighbor.
Seems like a nice guy. It's a guy and a girl.
They, every two weeks, they get a delivery of six five-gallon water cooler-sized jugs. So, like, ones that you might find in your office when you're talking about not betting the over in the rams chiefs game and uh they have been getting these delivered every other week and i've been trying to figure out what the fuck is going on in their house i had a water salesperson come to my door last night when they were dropping off all the water for my neighbor and the water salesperson was like hey just curious i'm selling water to your neighbor um how much water do you drink and i was like i don't know she was like where do you get your water from i was like the tap i just it comes out of the faucet it's free and uh she was like trying to sell me this water we ended up not buying any but uh i've been trying to figure out what two people could use 30 gallons of water for every two weeks and now the water twitter is like 30 gallons every two weeks and they're like that's a normal amount of water to be drinking if you're drinking just over a gallon a day well why don't we ask there's only one guy on this show that works out regularly so Hank I've been drinking a lot of water personally I'm looking it up I't know.
What's the difference between how do you convert leaders into gallons? These people have to be just like COVID crazies who don't leave their apartment, who are still in lockdown. I see them a lot, but why not just use the tap water? No, that I can't answer because I drink tap water, but yeah.
Do they have big animals? Oh, maybe. They could have.
Do they have any animals they have cats i don't i haven't seen maybe they have fish fish that could they're getting tap water or they're getting bottled water for the fish that could be they don't trust the tap water for their frogs it'll turn gay they have a whole the straightest frogs in america hardcore alex jones today they could be filling a fish tank they get over and over and over again with fresh like tap maybe they have a lot of flowers. Jake drinks the most water out of anyone I know.
I drink a lot of water. I don't know how much.
Is that a lot? You've been working out? No. No.
I feel like big water has poisoned our brains and told us that we need to actually be drinking more than we need to. Like the whole thing, if you need to drink a gallon of water a day.
Yeah, water's definitely something you should be drinking. Yeah, no, I know that.
Do you? I think most people can get by drinking like 32 ounces of water a day and getting the rest from their food. How many ounces is this? 32 ounces? This is 16.
I drink probably like. No, 32 ounces is definitely not enough.
I probably drink four to six of those a day. What are you talking about? But you probably also drink like other drinks over the course of the day.
Your coffee has water in it. It's mostly water.
But I definitely drink more than 32 ounces. That's three cups of water.
Four cups of water. You could probably drink a half a gallon of water a day.
Get the rest of it from your food and your other parts of your diet. So they just like water.
I guess they just really fucking like water. There's definitely people who drink a lot of water who are just water guys.
That seems like overkill to me.

But what do I know?

I'm not a water guy.

I have water with me on the go everywhere.

Yeah.

Literally everywhere.

Drink a beer, water.

Yeah.

That's how you do it.

That's true.

Yeah.

They're alcoholics.

They're constantly mixing in waters.

Yeah.

Never hung over.

All right.

My hot seats.

Wait.

What was going to be my hot?

I was going to figure out how I was going to fucking do this.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Oh, my hot seat is Coach cal because uh there was a tweet yesterday that said that coach cal was meeting with the ad of kentucky to uh figure out his uh like severance package that went viral and it turned out obviously it was fake the person was just making it up it was a troll account but it was so believable that Cal got asked about it

and then Turned out, obviously, it was fake. The person was just making it up.
It was a troll account. But it was so believable that Cal got asked about it.
And then Coach Cal's wife also released an Instagram video, which is very funny, of her dog just going to the bathroom in the driveway, being like, he's not going anywhere. But it makes me think if a joke like that can be believed that much, he's truly on the hot seat.
This is how it begins. It is.
Maybe maybe it was put out there by i know that their family is very active on twitter and i would never fuck with the calipari family on twitter because they're good at it and they'll roast you but if they had like a burner account they could put out the terms as like a trial balloon to see how how everyone reacted to it yeah and then maybe they they take the fake account was it? No, it was Mark Fisk Hoops, who has like 300 followers. He tweeted non-player movement news per an SEC source.
I'm told there's a meeting scheduled later today between John Calipari and Kentucky Athletic Director Mitch Barnhart regarding the head coach's future and expectations moving forward for the program. Interesting.
And it got like 150 retweets and a bunch of likes so people this is this is how it begins uh because if you did this tweet about uh bill self it wouldn't be believed well maybe because of the violations but what you know what i mean like there's a believability maybe it's like mark few they did lose to saint peter's so huh he might be on the hot seat. Yeah, I know that's it.
It was the Athletic Premium Plus Edition. You only get if you pay the $500 a month for the extra subscription.
Yes. My cool throne is LeBron James because LeBron has been freed of another coach, so congratulations to him.
If you're keeping track at home, which I am, that would mean that LeBron, if we're going to count the interim head coach that he had, I think, in 2005, LeBron has gotten six coaches fired in his career. Well, there have been six coaches fired while LeBron was there.
Yeah, so the only ones who've survived is Ty Lue because he left Cleveland, LeBron did, and Spolstra, who's a very good coach. But yeah, I don't know why we don't talk about LeBron James as a coach killer more because Frank Vogel got a raw, raw deal.
He basically, he won a title two years ago in the bubble. Everyone applauded him, said that their defense was incredible, which it was.
And then LeBron got all his friends to be on the team and then got injured. And it was like, Frank Vogel, you fix this.
And to be clear, I think that that title does count towards Vogel's titles. Yes.
Because it's tough to keep a team like that together in a bubble environment. It does not count for LeBron.
It's a Mickey Mouse title when it's for LeBron. I'm just wondering, when does that conversation ever happen that LeBron might get guys fired? You hear who he wants next? Himself? Mark Jackson.
Oh, my God. Please.
I did hear that. I want Mark Jackson.
I also saw Stephen A. Smith said that he could fix the Lakers, but they can't afford him, which would be unbelievable.
That's actually true. Stephen A.
Smith was the GM, and Mark Jackson was the head coach. If LeBron wants, I would maybe be a LeBron fan if he could figure that out.
I would be a fan of the Lakers. I actually think that Stephen A.
Smith is right that the Lakers can't afford him. No, probably not.
I don't think that's in their budget. It's such a flex, though.
Just be like, yeah, I would do it, but I could fix that. They can't afford me.
I had a dumb idea before we started taping today. I floated this one out here.
Curious to see what you guys think. Would it be possible for LeBronames to hire his son as head coach and thereby ensure that lebron james jr gets to play on the lakers like he becomes a player coach and gives himself minutes what why don't we go one further why doesn't he hire his daughter for the first female head coach in the nba history that would be touching we're breaking barriers we're doing everything also the first toddler head coach in in NBA history.
Well, also, I mean, she drinks a lot of wine. She does.
That's an issue. She does.
He keeps her drunk. Yes.
I was actually just reading back on that story the other day where he was like, yeah, my daughter doesn't really like the wine. She says it tastes like rocks.
And it's like, problem number one is your daughter drinks wine. Problem number two is your daughter knows what rocks taste like.
Yes, rocks are part of her palate. But, yeah, LeBron, coach killer.
Some are saying I'm not. He's on my cool throne.
So any LeBron fans can't say that we're hating on him right now. I'm simply asking.
He's freed, which is nice, out of the wrath of Frank Vogel. Everyone knows Frank Vogel, very similar to like a Bobby Knight type.
Iron fist. Just choking people and throwing chairs.
But yeah, Frank Vogel. I actually probably, Frank Vogel's probably like relieved because that's got to suck to have had that job this year.
And have basically everyone conspiring against you. And it's like, dude, I won a title two years ago.
He also got fired via tweet. Yeah.
He didn't even make it to his meeting. He found out online.
There was a great quote that LeBron had, though. They asked him about how this year came together.
And he said, the reason we were not very good together is we weren't on the damn floor together. Yeah.
That's the number one damn thing. I actually think that's new segment alert.
The number one damn thing. The number one damn thing.
It is funny because, I mean, they didn't have, I think I saw a stat, like they were the only team that didn't have 100 minutes of the same starting five, which is kind of crazy. But you could also make the argument, like, Steph missed a bunch of time.
Draymond missed a ton of time. Klay missed a ton of time.
Warriors are in the playoffs. He also had a great spin zone when he was talking about whether or not this season is a

failure, and he was just kind of holistic

with it. He was like, it's not really a failure because

we got to learn together and grow together

and spend quality time as men together.

So can that really be a failure? Yeah, that's

right. Like, could Hank's

text message be a failure if we just

brought the fan back together? I just

scrolled my timeline and I saw his picture like

16 times.

This is actually reminiscent of, I don't want to say the name.

Norm.

When that happened.

That was all over my timeline too.

I mean, Hank,

if you want to make this go away,

you just post a dick pic.

Yeah.

And everyone's just talking about Hank's hog.

No one's talking about your face anymore.

Hank's drinking some water. Count that to the ounces.
All right, Jake. Jake, has this been the most uncomfortable part of my take? It's up there.
I mean, we're having fun. It's all good.
It's fun. Not in a bad way.
I can't believe I miss Billy. Yeah, I know.
You miss Billy's calming presence next to you on the couch. Billy is a glue guy because we can all just make fun of him.

So he is. He's a

lightning rod. Yeah.

Okay, Jake.

Go ahead. My hot seat is Angel

Hernandez. So the

notable MLB umpire

has had an interesting start to the season.

He's missing balls and

strikes, which is obvious. And he's also caught dancing behind the plate just in the middle of the at-bat.
I saw that. What was that? I think he's just feeling himself.
Yeah, I'm okay with that. Listen, Major League Baseball always needs at least one umpire for us to talk about and to be like, oh, it's this guy.
Sports are more fun when you have like a Joey Crawford, like in basketball that you can point at and be like, you're like, look at this game. It's the Joe West show.
It's the Angel Hernandez show. It's good to have one of those guys.
In fact, I think that when we do inevitably make the switch to robot umps, we should keep Angel Hernandez around as like a controlled variable where we can show how much better the robot umps are, and if Angel Hernandez is lucky enough to come to your city on a certain night, the tickets probably go up for that game, because will want to see the umpire. Yes.
No, I'm, I, that's been my take for a very long time that robot umps will ruin everything because we won't, we won't get to have guys like Joe West that we can complain about. Right.
Like if any minor league umpire did this, they'd have no shot of making it to the majors. Yes.
Yeah. He gets a little bit of an immunity.
Um. My cool throne is things being wild.
We had a wild incident in the NL West last night. We had two twin brothers pitching against each other.
Tyler and Taylor Rodgers. What? Yeah.
One of them got the loss. One of them got the save.
What? Wild. Wait, so they weren't really pitching against each other? I mean, opposing teams.

Were they in the game at the same time?

Both lost in the save.

Second time MLB history.

Were they in the game at the same time?

I mean, that's impossible.

Right.

Not wild.

Not wild?

No.

I thought they were opposing starting pitchers.

I mean, you look at the box score.

It says L.T. Rogers save T.
Rogers. They look identical because they are identical.
They're identical twins? They're twins. That is kind of wild.
That's back to wild. That's back to wild.
I didn't realize the identical part. Jake, you can't just bury the identical part.
I said it. Oh, you did? Maybe I didn't.
I don't know. But it's the second time in MLB history that two twin brothers pitched in the same game in the first time for opposing teams.
Okay, that's wild. I'm going to say certified, stamp it, wild.
Especially if one was pitching during the same inning, but that never happened, right? They weren't pitching in the same innings as each other? No, because there were three pitchers that came in after. Wait, did you just bang? You can't do that.
That's my brain. What's yours? What is yours? I don't have one.
I thought you had one. Boom? Well, I say kaboom, but the heat announcer does that.
It's not mine. Wait, the heat announcer says kaboom? Yeah.
So what's yours? I don't have one. You need one.
Eventually. It's still early in my career.
Wait, blap. Bang is yours? No, it's Mike Breen's.
Oh, Mike Breen's. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He said bang, and I was like, wait, you can't do that. You need to have one.
Eventually. You need one.
Okay. It'll become natural.
Natural. Natural.
I like kaboom. That's the heat.
I'm about to say kaboom so MF loud. Right on your forehead.
You need one. Okay.
Splash. I feel like that's common.
Someone's? Yeah. What about get some? We'll see.
We'll see. Can you do this noise? Oh.
Hank, that was cool. Yeah.
We're about to get some. We'll see.
We'll see. Can you do this noise? Oh.
Hank, that was cool. Can you do that again? Dude, you're back.
You started doing that in the mic? That was awesome. Do that one more time.
Four, three. That's a great sound effect.
Dude, that fucking rules. How do you do that?

That's why I spent a lot of time in school doing that.

Just that?

Yeah, just trying to figure it out.

Hank, one time we need to have your former teachers on the show to interview them. That would be, I would be interested to hear that.

It would be great if-

I mean, you know what they would say.

Yeah, he spent the entire class in the back of the room with his finger down his throat. It would be- Bonk.
It would be- Put it on the list. You literally just did that.
Put it on the list. It would be great.
It would be- He didn't put- He's not putting his finger in his mouth. I'm flicking my cheek.
Yeah, he's flipping his cheek. It would be great if Jake got a big NBA gig and was like, well, there's one condition.
Hank's coming with me. And whenever there's a big shot, he's going to have to do the sound effects.
Or you can just pre-record it and they can fire you. No, no, no, no.
I can teach you, Jake. I'll teach you.
No, it's got to be live. Yeah.
Has to be live. Fair.
Okay. Good.
Let's get to our interview with Craig Robinson.

We got FAQs on the other end.

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Find all One Bars at a retailer near you or on Amazon.com. Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest.
It is Craig Robinson. You may know him as Daryl from The Office, but we know him as his new show, Killing It, Out on the Cock, April 14th.
cock right yes sir it is on peacock streaming april 14th killing it welcome to the office man also i should say one of the smoothest voices in the world well thank you how you doing man i appreciate you i'm great how about yourself we're doing great We're doing great. Thanks for having me.
Killing it out on April 14th. We're going to run this tomorrow, so it'll be out the next day.
Okay. The show is a lot of snakes.
I saw that part. What do we say to people? So essentially the show, the premise is a guy's going out.
He's down on his luck, and he's participating in a snake-capturing chase for money? He's a bank security guard turned python hunter. Okay.
So, yeah, he loses everything. He loses his car, burns up, loses his apartment, and he loses his job.
And so he gets in this Uber. He's going after the American dream.
He really wants to start this salt palmetto farm, to sell these salt palmetto berries. And he hooks up with this Uber driver, and she's crazy, played by Claudia O'Doherty, amazing actress, comedic, and then hilarity ensues.
And then he finds himself having to, well, he agrees to join this snake hunting contest. That's the elevator pitch.
You're welcome. I mean, I like it.
Did you have to interact with real snakes? Yes. We had real snakes where the American Humane Society was on present every time we had those.
We had fake snakes and we also had the CGI, which blew my mind when I saw the CGI. Because I was like, well, I didn't work with that snake.
How is it there? It was amazing. It was that snake.
Do the snakes have names when you're working with them on set? Like the ones that you're handling? They do. I didn't catch them because they had the handler.
So he would show us all of that. But, yeah, we had a few days of those.
You know who's a real big snake guy is Dwight Howard? He's got like 25 snakes. Oh, somebody just told me he had 500.
Oh, 500. 25.
I don't know. I might be wrong.
It's a lot. It's a lot.
He named some of them. One is a lot.
So, yeah. They have to earn their names I have a long standing theory that You can't trust anyone who Owns a snake as a pet And that's biblical The snake showed up on what Day 7 and fucked everything up Eve kind of fucked it up Eve fell for the's charm.
I think it's a bad rap though sometimes.

Snakes get a bad rap because of the Bible

and Indiana Jones.

And when I met a snake for the first time,

I ended up touching it.

I was in Australia with my band.

We was at this animal sanctuary.

Ended up holding snakes.

And I was like, the snake means no harm.

You've been afraid of snakes

all this time. Just because you saw a movie or heard biblical stories.
They are scary. I think the snake from the Bible gets a bad rap.
He was just trying to spread knowledge. Imagine if we hadn't eaten that apple there would be no TV show.
There would be no Craig Robinson. Yes, very true.
But I do think that if you own a snake as a pet, it's like why can't you just own a cat or a dog? Yeah. Those are totally fine.
I recently held a snake on a talk show. I held a couple of them.
But there was this one. It's called a corn snake.
It's the number one snake pet. And it's adorable.
And I'm thinking about getting a couple. No.
Adorable. If you own a snake.
Imagine getting tickled by a hot dog. Okay, that's not a good sketch.
I'm thinking about that. Let me close my eyes.
That wasn't something that was going to sell me. Tickled by a hot dog.
What do you think about it, Big Cat? Just think about laying back, closing your eyes. I just heard myself say that.
Yeah, like a dog's unrequited love for you, loyal companion, or tickled by a hot dog. That's a tough one.
But if you own a snake, it's like people own monkeys too. You're just counting down the days until the monkey rips your face off or the snake gets lost in your house and you can't find it.
That's just going to happen. True that, true that.
Maybe. But true.
Yes. Especially with the monkey.
I don't think the same way that if you have a snake it's going to attack you. I just think that if you own a snake that's kind of pre-crime where a police officer...
If my neighbor owns a snake I'm just going to call 911 on him. I'm going to be like something's going to happen eventually.
I want you guys to be close by. Pre-crime.
He's a snake guy. Look, Tom Cruise on that ass.
Yes. My party report, right? Speaking of getting tickled by hot dogs, that's actually a good segue.
I want to talk to you real quick about Sausage Fest. Sausage Party? Sausage Party.
Excuse me. Sausage Party.
Sausage Fest. That's a different thing.
Different thing. Well, it's pretty similar.
Sausage Party, the supermarket orgy scene in Sausage Party. Yes, yes.
You were Mr. Grits.
You did the voice of Mr. Grits.
Correct. That's maybe the most disturbing piece of cinema that I've ever seen.
Bro, you know, I haven't heard the outtakes or the extras, but if there are extras and if Mr. Grits is in those extras, we should find him.
Because the things that we were saying that didn't make the movie, oh my God. Yeah.
Forget about it. So they get you in the booth and they're just like, okay, you're participating in a giant orgy with other snack foods.
They grease you up a little bit. No, you go in there, yeah, and you just act a damn fool.

It sounds fun. Yeah, that's the most fun you can have at a job.
How often, is it getting annoying that people are like, hey, Daryl, all the time? No, no. You like it? I mean, I know it's coming from love, and I do like it because you get, like sometimes people you've never expected some foreign dude you know look like he's all to himself he's like oh office it's amazing yeah so it's pretty dope and you know if I need to disappear I can do all that it's kind of a weird like I would imagine there's sometimes it's like hey I lot of other things.
But then you also, on the flip side, you're part of one of the most iconic TV shows of all time. I'm very grateful, man.
It's like having friends everywhere you go. It's all good.
Yeah. I do have one bone to pick with The Office, with your character on The Office.
Maybe you can help me out on this. Talk to me.
What was it exactly that you and Jim's company actually did? Because I couldn't figure that out. Athlete.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you worked in sports. That's the answer, athlete.
Yeah. We lead athletes.
And then you hang out with athletes too sometimes. You hang out with them.
You sign them. Uh-huh.
And you lead them. Yeah, you lead them.
I like that. That actually didn't sound that different than some agents some agents yeah I just got the script was like okay we're doing this yeah I mean it's yeah what's your favorite episode that you were part of oh man let me see great question I think you know when I told Mikey he had on lady clothes yes when you got to When you got to do a scene with Steve Carell, that was just like Christmas.
And the fact that I was in so many scenes with him in that one was, you know, it blows my mind. I'm a part of it.
Yeah. So, you know, going there and going toe-to-toe with Carell, that's a good look.
And I saw that you did comment, not recently, maybe a couple years ago, that you would be in if they did a reunion. Do you think that's ever talked about? People tell me, but I never hear anybody from the cast.
But I'm just waiting to hear Greg Daniels speak on it. If he speaks on it, then it'll be real.
Then we could cross that road but yeah yeah i mean on the surface i'm in yeah the the uh bar would be so high but i think everyone would like jump at you know i would be so pumped but yeah you have to get the right you know the writers correct and uh i'm sure there's a billion stories that if they were to do it again you have to do like a special or like a movie yeah we've had Brian Baumgartner on the show a couple times he kind of gave us like a little bit of insight as to what the secret life of Kevin might have been behind the scenes because you've probably seen some of the theories out there there's just some crazy shit super fans of the show I have not they dive well some people think that Kevin was like a secret yeah that's uh like you know he's an expert poker player but he's also dumb as shit when it comes to doing accounting did you have it like what was the internal motivation that you had behind daryl did you come up with like your own backstory or were you just like i'm daryl the beauty of daryl was actually like what daryl says is what he means all the time right like you have anything, like, in your head that was your own backstory at all, or were you just like, I'm going to show up and do it? I probably did at the time. I don't know anymore.
Because there's always a backstory. But I don't remember.
I just, I don't remember. I feel like I'm letting you down.
No, it's okay. I mean, sometimes those super fan theories are just so far out there.
Is it just Secret Life of Kevin or do they do other people? I'm going to look it up right now. I'm just going to Google Reddit Theory Daryl Office.
We'll see what happens. There'll be something for sure.
You've worked a lot with Seth Rogen. Is he as high as he seems? No.
Really? No, I mean, he likes to get high, but I don't think he's as high as, I don't see him high a lot. Yeah.
What was your favorite project you worked with? I loved Pineapple Express. That was one of my favorite movies.
I love it, too. Food's still warm.
Um, you know, this is the end was pretty, pretty, uh, pretty dope to be a part of.

We were in New Orleans for like two and a half, three months.

Did that kill you?

Because we actually, we just came back from New Orleans.

We were there for the final four.

And I said that being in New Orleans for four days felt like 40.

I was there just for shooting, killing it.

I was there from mid-October to mid-February.

And I didn't have any alcohol. Really? Yeah.
How? I don't know. I was like, I'm not drinking.
I would be dead. Between the food and the schedule, it would have been a problem.
It's a city unlike any other because it's like not only the culture but the food. And then we were joking.
I got back, and I was taking my son to school,

and I was like, man, I wish I was just drinking a beer standing in the middle of the street

fresh off a bowl of gumbo.

It's super dangerous down there now, too.

Yeah.

Super dangerous.

My car got stolen.

My rental car.

What happens when a rental car gets stolen?

You know what?

I don't know. They didn't tell me if they found it or not.
You just called, and you're like, hey, it just like. What happens when a rental car gets stolen? You know what? I don't know.

They didn't tell me if they found it or not.

You just called and you're like, hey, it's gone.

Can I get another?

Pretty much.

But no, you had to go get a police report.

Yeah, yeah.

Turn that in.

And then about two weeks later, I got another car.

You just gave me a great business idea.

What?

Just continually rent cars and be like, hey, it got stolen again.

Let me get another one.

Yeah.

Then you drive them all to Mexico and sell them. Give me another.
Give me another. Over and over.
I think that's pretty flawless. You're welcome.
So the first time I remember watching you was Knocked Up when you played the doorman, right? That was a really good use of a cameo because it was short, it was sweet, but I remember watching and being like, that guy's funny. That guy funny was that all scripted out was there any improv to it it was a lot of improv essentially though the top half of the monologue was appetite written and the bottom half was uh we had improvise some stuff and uh and then it gave me a huge shot of confidence because I was throwing stuff out there.

And then, you know, they'll tell you to get something again for safety.

And then Judd was throwing my lines back to me.

He's like, old pregnant bitches.

And I just can't handle old pregnant bitches running around the club.

So, yeah, that was definitely some improv, heavy improv going on.

Yeah, it was great.

It showed like a little bit like you were being very funny,

but also there was like a little bit of emotion coming from the doorman. Nobody ever thinks about how the doorman thinks.
Right, exactly. Yeah.
Nobody does. I got a dumb question.
So you've done a bunch of commercials. Pizza Hut was one of them.
Yeah. Do you just get to eat free pizza when you're there? I think we got some coupons coming, but no, I want to do a video where I'm like, hey, I'm going to see how this Pizza Hut works out, and then I walk up and they're like, yeah, $8.99.
Yeah, right. It doesn't matter that you're in the commercial.
Good for you. $8.99.
So they don't, like, I just assume. They take good care of you.
Okay, because I was going to say, I assume you show up to a Pizza Hut commercial and it's just Pizza Hut all day. And that's, I guess you have to work too.
That does happen, yeah. Yeah.
Because you're doing, you know, takes. So you got to eat the you gotta eat the pizza but pizza I'm fine with it and I think they are giving us some coupons or something but they could go either way it's fantastic I'm glad they're taking care of you I don't want that relationship to sour at all however I was dismayed is maybe too light of a word when I ordered the triple treat box which you were promoting you know what i'm gonna say i heard there was no levels it doesn't come in the drawers oh my god what the fuck that's why i ordered it that's on you somebody tweeted me like what the fuck i have no idea i have no idea what what goes on with that because like watching you in the commercials you've got the thing and it's got the drawers drawers and it's the triple treat and i'm like i want that craig looks so happy eating out of the drawers and then it's drawerless by the time it shows up i was very disappointed i don't know what to tell you and i did bring it to their attention so okay i hope it works out that would actually make me very happy if you fix that problem finally had drawers what i told him I told him I had an idea for doing a commercial where, like, oh, shit,

like you see a brick go through a dominoes, and I'm like,

no one out pieces the hut, and then I drive off.

I like that.

Yeah.

You kidnap Papa John?

Yeah.

Oh, the kidnapping.

Oh, that's a whole other level.

Yeah.

Papa John would probably be down. Just beat the shit out of Papa John.
Yeah. be a lot of people like yep that makes sense exactly wow so you mentioned your band are you still like touring with the band yeah we got a show May 4th at the Troubadour in LA part of this Netflix comedy festival thing but um absolutely man we uh we get out there when we can.
It's actually been a while between gigs. I've been busy, they're busy.
But my band is beyond fantastic there. Everyone has their own band in the band.
We're like a super group that comes together, like Voltron or something. So if you had to pick, not saying you have to pick, but like acting or music, which one is like your true passion? I would go with the band.
Yeah. I had to go all the way.
I feel like most musicians are people who have musical ability who do other things. Like PFT is a great guitar player.
And I bet you if it's like, hey, you could trade all this to be like in an all like, you know, top 10 band. Forget about it.
I'd probably trade it all. I'd trade it all just if I could learn the favorite solo.
I'd be like, go for it, dude. That would be sick.
The song, the Dunder Mifflin, the people, the people, persons, paper, people. That is a jam.
Have you thought about taking- Out of paper. Yeah, can you sing it just real quick? I'll stock.
There's friendly faces around the block. Break loose from them chains that are causing your pain.
Call Michael and Stanley, Jim DeWiney Creek. Call Andy and Kelly for your business paper.
And he's called the, the, me, people, persons, paper, people. Yeah.
I think that, have you ever considered just changing the words to it not being about a fictional paper company and just making it into a hit? I have not. I think it's good enough.
Wow. It's so smooth, yeah.
Why not just keep it like it is? Yeah, I guess so. This is me trying to organize a whole people want The Office to reunite because they want to go back in time to feel the way that they felt about it the same time they first watched it.

That's what I'm doing with that song right now.

I want to go back and listen to it again for the first time.

Do you have your act here?

I do have a guitar down here.

Oh, is it acoustic?

Acoustic.

Bust it out, man.

Let's do a little something.

There you go.

Shoot.

Why not?

What do you want to sing?

Purple Rain. Oh, you went great to like expert mode there.
What do you want to sing? Purple Rain.

Oh, you went right to expert mode there.

What do you want to do?

Oh, one of the best songs from the best artist of all time.

Real quick.

Why not?

Gotta put it on him there.

Who would you say are your favorite artist of all time?

Wow, man.

That's deep.

Good deep.

Michael Jackson.

Yeah?

I could do it. What do you say are your favorite artists of all time? Wow, man.
That's deep.

Good deep.

Michael Jackson.

Yeah?

Michael Jackson.

Prince.

Jenkins Brown.

Marvin Haye.

Sam Kinison.

That's a pretty good fucking list.

Are you searching how to play it?

No, what key do you want to play it in?

Let's go B flat.

B flat. Okay.
Have you ever played Purple Rain?? No, what key do you want to play it in? Let's go B flat. B flat.

Okay.

Have you ever played Purple Rain?

I have, a long time ago.

Do you need the lyrics?

Mm-mm.

Limit calls you into sorrow I never meant to cause you into pain I only wanted one time to see you laughing I only want to see you laughing

in the purple rain

purple rain

purple rain

purple rain

purple rain

purple rain

purple rain I only want to see you, baby In the purple rain That's beautiful. Yes! That's beautiful.
I mean, that was off the top. That's fucking sick.
Thanks That was Thanks bro Thanks Nice Nice skills there I heard a little funk I mean You picked it in B flat Which is tough to do And make it sound nice and open Right right You know Couldn't play any open chords on there It was a little high for me too I was like I mean that was fucking awesome You do have a Smooth voice You have a gift I appreciate it So I don't know where to go from that Because we never had someone just Drop a perfect rendition of Purple Rain on our face What do you like doing better? What do you like doing better? Live action shit? Or animated stuff? Yeah that's what i was gonna say well they're both like you know it's like choosing between your kids but the animated man you get to do a lot of you know you get to go big and go crazy i got this this movie coming out april 22nd called uh the bad guys and it's like tarantino for kids man it's pretty dope wow tarantino for kids. Yeah, and I got a stupid character named Mr.
Shark. He's the master of disguise, so it's like Tarantino for kids, man.
It's pretty dope. Wow, Tarantino for kids.
Yeah, and I got a stupid character named Mr. Shark.
He's the master of disguise, so it was stupid. It was so much fun to make.
But then the live action, that's a whole other beast. It's just two different beasts.
So a serious question. Back to the office real quick.
In terms of your career and what it did for like the trajectory of your career because you know reading a little about you it wasn't you weren't like someone who was day one you know like 16 years old doing stand-up comedy so what what did it do for like was that the moment where you're like okay this is actually now a career now this i was part of hit. I was a very likable character on a huge TV show.
Did that catapult you? Yes, absolutely. The office is, I would consider that my big break.
I was on a show before that called Lucky that you probably haven't heard of. It was John Corbett and Billy Gardell, myself.
John Corbett was a gambler. Actually, I do remember that.
Yeah, it was on FX. And we had, it was, dude, I'm talking about, we were talking about Critics Darling.
I had like 30 clips of newspaper things or whatever. It was like lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky.
Everybody loved it. And then I forget how it happened.
Some kind of politics happened and we got cancelled after one season. But that was a huge, beautiful lesson because I didn't save a dime from it.
I was just ready for the second season. And then I got Billy Gardel called me.
Hey, man. No, no, I think Mark called me first, my manager right here.
He said, hey, man, they canceled the show. And then the two guys, Rob and Mark Cullen, who are the brothers who wrote the show.
Hey, man, they're letting us go. And by the time Billy Gardell called, I was like, I got it.
But I was holding on to my chair. I could not believe it.
But I was at a party for, okay, so it was The Shield, and then Lucky came on, and then there was the show Nip Tuck. So we went to the premiere of Nip Tuck.
President of FX looks at me in the eyes and go, you got nothing to worry about. So I'm like, oh, now that's when I felt like I made it.
That's when I felt like. So then once that happened, ever since then, I haven't had that feeling.
I always feel like the bottom could come out at any time. I mean, that's actually a blessing in disguise.
A super blessing because now I don't spend money. Yeah.
You know what I'm saying? A little bit. Yeah.
Is there a show that you've worked on where you thought it was going really, really well, and then you watched the final version, and you're like, this didn't turn out the way that it felt in the moment? No, but that would be my act, my comedy act. Or like a certain joke sometimes.
No, the shows, it's hard, man, because you get on a show, and there's so much good morale. Everybody's like, oh, this is good.
It's always positive. Then you get out there, and sometimes it hits, sometimes it doesn't.
So it's hard to tell. I just go in, do the best work I can, and keep it moving.
Do you always watch the stuff that you do, or is it just it's done? I have not always. I try to, but there are some things I have not seen.
I have not seen the full movie Walk Hard yet. Oh, really? Would you believe that? That's a great one.
That is a great one. Good.
There you go. You don't have to see it.
I will be checking it out. Yeah, there you go.
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no bull has options for everyone exclusively for barstool listeners no bull is offering 30 off your order visit www.nobullproject.com slash barstool for 30 off your entire order That's www.nobullproject.com backslash Barstool for 30% off. To God's ears, we got to see, I guess, how it debuts and people stick with it.
We need people to watch it. We need people to watch it, watch it all the way through.
Whether you love it or hate it. If you love it, wonderful.
If you hate it, watch it anyway. Just let it play.
Yeah, just cue it up and let it play. Leave and go somewhere.
You got a pet snake at home, just turn it on and leave. What about if people have snake phobia? Should they watch it? Maybe those are the people that turn it on and walk away? I get it.
Some people can't watch because it's not so much so many snakes all the way through and all of that. That is the center of it, but it's not hard to explain.
Have people actually reached out to you and been like, dude, I support you, but I can't watch this? Somebody tweeted that they could. I love Craig Robinson, but I can't look at the snakes.
So that's a perfect case of just turn it on and walk away. Turn it on and walk away.
Yeah. Just keep it running.
And tweet that you watched it. And tweet that you watched it.
You know, people are going to do what they want to do. They want you to do the elevated pitch.
They want you to come out and say, why should you see this? I don't know. I just, we had fun making it.
It was very challenging. I loved every minute.
And it's got some great moments. And I hope you all enjoy it.
Yeah. I need a new TV show, so I'm in.
Awesome. It was a pleasure jamming with you.
Likewise, brother. Thank you.
Yes. Thank you all very much.
Thank you so much. We appreciate you stopping by.
Appreciate you getting the word out. Hey, it's Rhea from Trix in the Office.
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All right, let's finish up FAQs.

Hank.

Yeah.

Give it to me one more time.

I love it so much.

You want to know the other one I would do?

I don't know if you're going to be able to hear this. Yes, please.
This would get people going. The many talents.
Oh, my back hurts. I go.
Oh, yeah. I have seen you do that before.
And you're cracking your fingers, right? Crack your neck. Oh, man.
Oh! Fun stuff. I feel like the bubble one would be appropriate for a free throw.
All right, Jake. Maybe you'll learn how to do it first, and then we can talk.
No, I think that's a three. Splash.
Yeah. It's a wet sound effect.
Okay, I'm wrong. Implying that the jumper is wet.
You gothmm. You got that? That's basketball.
Nice. Hank's lashing at Jake.
Hank knows ball. Hank knows ball.
What's up, Coach K, Killer, Mr. Commenter, Honk, Billy Pigskin, and Jake? How often are you guys recognized out in public? Is it just at sporting events, or do you get recognized in normal places as well? Sporting events are normal.
I'm thinking through my head of when I go out in public the most it's like sporting events or sports related is probably number one it's two things one is when when we're going somewhere that everyone knows we're at it's obviously way different like when we're in the new orleans for the final four it's like non-stop but that's also sports and people know we're there in terms of like regular just walking around i don't know i probably like i walk like a like six blocks to from from the train to the office maybe once maybe once like that's the average is like one time a day when i'm walking that walk my favorites are when i ran into a guy yesterday actually that um i was out on the trail and the guy holds up his phone as I'm walking past him, and he's like, I'm listening to you right now. I always like that when he's actually got part of my take playing while they see me.
That's always good. One time, actually, I was at a restaurant, and this girl came up, and she was like, hey, are you Post Malone? That really set me back a few.
It is nice to get recognized because our fans are the best so the only time it ever I mean we've said this before the only time it ever sucks is when someone tries to take a picture without saying hello then you feel a little bit like a zoo animal but that very that very rarely happens usually it's just a what's up what's up and then that's you know fun or sometimes people will ask me like a construction site by my house the dudes will ask me for a pick and i think i'm like oh for seven on picks i've given them so i stopped walking that way i mean memes is just continuing to troll me he's p picked these oh no uh faq will hank return to full participation in upcoming mount rushmore season or is he still butthurt about pizza toppings? Hashtag double olives. Oh, no.
I forgot about pizza toppings. Yeah, I mean, I'll be back.
You guys ruined the sanctity of the competition forever. It was awesome.
So, again, I feel bad for the listeners, but. Yeah, it's after it's in July, yeah.
I have a motion for this year's Mount Rushmore's. I think that we should do them.
Yeah, what? No, no. Oh, what? Okay.
Every year you have a motion that we shouldn't vote. No.
But go ahead. No, we can vote.
I'm just saying we do it the Chicago style where you take the names off. Okay.
And then it's a big reveal afterwards. I mean, that works.
I don't really worry about the voting. Well, some people do.
Yeah, I mean, once you guys cheated, it's like the whole system is broken. You guys broke the system.
Don't even worry about the voting Once you guys cheated It's like the whole system is broken But don't even worry about the voting Who cares about the voting I literally don't care about the voting But every year you come up with a rule that tries to change the voting Hank cares very much No, I'm done See? You guys broke my will to care That's actually Put that on on our resume. That's fucking huge.
June 19th. That's huge.
Killed Coach K, broke Hank's will to care. Also made him a suit.
Which congrats on the promotion, President of Barstow Sports. Thanks.
You're fired. What's Dave like as an employee? You're fired.
Are you ever going to have Tim Woods back on for more dnd yes i see that it's we're we're just now getting to uh like a little bit of a slower time the footballs from september to the end of march madness is chaos now we will get to do we have a couple like we have some weird interview we're doing next week that should be great. So, yeah, we're going to start doing some different interesting things.
For sure. I always loved him.
It's not just the actual act of playing Dungeons & Dragons. Just his personality in a room is kind of like it's rejuvenating.
Yes. Makes me feel like there are good people in this world.
Effervescent? Effervescent, positive. Yes.
Can you just read the Ray Allen tweet again? Yes, no problem. Well, I know most of it.
I'm getting there. Picture me.
Hold on. Let me find out.
Yeah, you don't want to ruin it. I don't want to ruin it.
That would be trying to quote Shakespeare. All right, I'm going to introduce you.
And now, Big Cat reading the Ray Allen tweet where he talks about the clitoris.

I'm getting there.

Wait.

I'm actually getting there.

All right, I'm getting there.

When you masturbate, think about my tongue or your clit

and switching back and forth from my dick to my tongue.

I want to have him on just to ask him.

Thank you. about my tongue or your clit and switching back and forth from my dick to my tongue i just i want to have him on just to ask him like it would be so awkward because he we think about this tweet far more than he's ever thought no i i actually don't i think if you fire off he did what i did you think about it all the time every now and then you just can never it might be cathartic for him because because he's probably never spoken about it.
He could help me with what I'm dealing with. Let's see if he's – is he on Twitter still? He might not even be on Twitter.
That would be legendary if he just deactivated. I'm looking Ray Allen right now for people, and there's no verified Ray Allens.
So he might have just been like, I'm out. I can't.
No, I think it's like Sugar Ray 20 or something I would love to have Ray Allen on and it would basically be all questions about that I can't find him hi fit cat fit hank oh no this is funny hi fat cat dude he deleted his twitter account Hank and Perv FT. Get it? When the heck are you guys going to do another 24-hour stream? Never.
We should do one. No, never.
Well, so this year we're combining training camp and grit week, so it's going to be in August. Maybe we do one in May? Maybe we do a 24-hour stream in May.
Why? This is... Corporate Hank's got to know that.
I had fun. I think we should do it.
I can do it. I'm just not drinking a beer an hour.
Yeah, no, you don't have to do that. I'm not eating a hot dog an hour.
That set me back. Billy will be running a marathon again.
He'll be running two marathons. One of the most impressive things he's ever done.
It really was. But yeah, we'll...
We to guarantee anything. We're not going to commit to anything, but we'll talk about it because that was fun.
It was just guys hanging out. Remember when you guessed that card? Yeah.
Buster Posey. That was the highlight of my life.
I mean, some of these questions, I don't know. Memes.
What's the most difficult lesson you've learned while building barstool slash PMT The most difficult Lame memes nice try That was A-Rod Trying too hard Sometimes we learn that if we try too hard You burn out We gotta think of the macro versus the micro sometimes When you're developing a show like this I don't know Just't know. Any, just consistency.
Consistency. Just be consistently fucking stupid.
I would say. Oh, the hardest lesson.
Oh, I guess one of the hardest lessons. You just got to like eventually get to a point where you realize that there's just going to be people who don't like you.
That's hard to deal with when you start, especially like early Barstool when it was very small and it was like it felt like you know everyone was in on like the joke and then it's like you get bigger and bigger it's like all right some people are not gonna like you from the outside some people aren't gonna like you from the inside some people listen to this podcast and probably hate us and they just hate listen and then they you know comment all day about how much we suck but it's just like getting over that and being like your opinion doesn't matter uh because it just doesn't anymore it is weird to get to that point because there's it's human nature correct to read what people say about you and then when uh there's enough people that say negative things and if you're a show that that has a lot of listeners it's just natural that there will be a significant amount of people that might not like what you say or disagree with you or don't like you personally or whatever and it's it's very um it goes against everything in your body to be able to not listen to what they have to say correct it took me probably like about two years to get to the point where now i literally don't care um if somebody has constructive criticism that's completely different and that's valid. But you have to be able to differentiate between the two.
And sometimes I wonder, are the people that comment on Twitter different from the people that comment on Instagram and the people that comment on Reddit? It's really weird. Twitter is the worst.
Twitter is useless. I disagree.
Twitter is the best. Yeah, I think Twitter's not bad.
I think Reddit is like you can't find a podcast show, anything that doesn't devolve into we just don't like this anymore. Like critiquing it.
That's just a platform. That's the nature.
I don't even hold it against anyone. It's like if you comment on something and consume it for long enough, you're just going to poke holes in it.
It is what it is. I think most of the people commenting probably still like it.
No one wants to read everyone and be like, these guys are the best over and over. That's just the nature of the internet.
You can't, like, no one's going to be like, oh, let's read an entire thread about how much these guys rock and how funny they are. It's just not going to happen.
Would you listen to this show if we were talking about, like, the NBA, for example, and we thought every player was good? Yeah. Because guess what? Every player is pretty good in the NBA.
Yeah, pretty damn good. For the most part.
Except LeBron, coach killer. Yeah, and Embiid.
Hank, what was your – corporate Hank, you've gone from literally an intern to the C-suite at this? Not true. He's actually emperor of Barstool Sport.
I keep promoting him throughout this show. Thankfully, I got publicly roasted in my entire life, like broken down when I was like 20, 21 years old, and I had to get over.
People were just like, I got shit on over and over and over again, and I had the like, if you care, you're not going to be able to work here. So I thankfully have been over that for a long time, and I feel like it just doesn't even nights like last night like i've had so many of them it just doesn't it's it's embarrassing but like i don't i don't lose sleep over it goes back to the first question that we did with faqs about getting recognized in public people are mean online they just are because they can be faceless and they don't have to like stand behind anything They can just be mean i've never had a single bad interaction in person no one has ever come up to me and been like you fucking suck you know what i mean it just doesn't happen so that's how you kind of just gauge your life off it's a sliding scale and it's like that's one bad thing but there's a million good things like who cares there was one guy at lsu i was never gonna be I was walking around before the LSU-Alabama game, and he just goes, hey, PFT.
I looked over, and he goes, you suck. But I was too drunk to care.
I was like, okay, respect. If I was getting booed going to restaurants, I think I'd probably be like, oh, something bad's happening.
Uh-huh. But that hasn't happened yet.
You just show up, and everyone just starts heckling you. That was actually a good question, memes.
That was a good question, memes. Is that it? Yeah.
Okay. Are you good? Are you sure that's it? Yeah.
I'm fine. Can we get one more wet sound? All right.
Numbers. Numbers.
Six.

25.

By the way, a hippo can eat 150 pounds of grass in a single night.

Wow.

About 150 pounds.

Okay, thank you for the clarification.

That's a lot.

22.

90.

90.

90.

I like it. Strong number.

Watch would be 69.

Oh, I'd love every second of that.

30.

Love you guys. I'm talking away I don't know what I'm to say I'm saved anyway Today's another day to find you Shying away I'll be coming for your love again Shying away I'll be coming for your love again Take on me Take me on I'll be gone And I'll take off.
Needless to say.

I'm all decided.

But I'm pleased to win it away.

So I learned that life is okay.

Say up to me.

It's no better to be safe than sorry.

Say up to me.

It's no better to be safe than sorry.

Take on me.

Take me on. I'll be gone in a day or two.
All the things that you say, yeah. Is it a lot more just to play my worries away? You're all the things I'll start to remember When you're shying away I'll be coming for you anyway When you're shying away I'll be coming for you anyway Take on me Take me on I'll be gone.