Scott Van Pelt Live From Augusta, Scottie Scheffler Wins The Master Plus NBA Playoffs Are Set

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On today's Pardon My Take, we're talking Masters. The Masters have completed Scotty Scheffler wins.
Kind of a boring Sunday, but we have Scott Van Pelt on, which is always fun. We're going to talk to him live from Augusta, as is tradition.
We are going to do who's back of the week. We're going to talk a little NBA because the playoffs are set.
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And Scotty Scheffler has won the master scotty scheffler who was once referred to by his friend uh henry higgs is that his name maybe i might have screwed that up he said uh scotty scheffler is about as boring as they come in the best way congrats scotty yeah scotty scheffler's cousin what a what a legend what a legendary performance we won't forget just because of it being so extremely forgettable. We'll always be like, you know what? This was the Masters where Sunday was meaningless.
He played well at the start of the round. It looked like he was going to get in some trouble early.
He's good at scrambling. I've learned a few things about Scotty Scheffler today.
One, he's good at scrambling. Yep.
Two, he went to high school with Clayton Kershaw and Matt Stafford same high school 15 20 years later they actually it is literally the the fun fact that has outlasted all fun facts we thought it was going to be uh Antonio Gates or Jimmy Graham or maybe even Chris Hogan playing lacrosse no no it is Clayton Kershaw and Matt Stafford because during the broadcast on Sunday, they found a way to work that in. And it actually, recurring guests, Mitchell Schwartz pointed out, Scotty Scheffler, kind of a loser that he doesn't have a teammate of his that also won a huge major championship, a Super Bowl or World Series.
That's true. Maybe there is somebody that went there, but he was just such a nerd that he wasn't friends with us.
Yes, yes. But, yeah, he's a very forgettable guy, except this is important for me personally.
Fun fact about Scotty Scheffler, he's deathly afraid of heights. Oh.
Representation matters. Yes.
I like to think that maybe we did our part here on this show, recognizing it as a legitimate concern. Scotty's finally free to be himself.
Yes. Let flag fly congratulations scotty for the fourth thing i had about scotty scheffler is he just reminds me of every dude i've ever met from uh the dallas texas kind of area where it's like you're 25 but you look like you're 35 and you got married when you were 23 and you just got your shit together better and you're really good gol golfer.
That's every guy I've ever met from Dallas.

He looks like a medium good accountant that's pretty good at golf.

Yeah, like some dude you meet who went to TCU and he's 25.

He's already got a kid, a wife, and he's like way progressed in his career as an accountant.

You're like, fuck, he's got his shit together.

I actually think that most people get into the field of accounting.

It's kind of like one or the other.

How much are you going to maximize your accounting ability versus how much are you going to maximize your golf playing right he just probably sucks at numbers right he just

hates math so he could have been that guy he could have been that guy and i'm talking to a specific

guy who's nodding his head right now being like yep that's me that's not a knock no it's like just

i for some reason maybe it's just the people i've met from dallas they all have their shit together

a lot earlier in life and it feels like they're just older at a younger age yeah he was

Thank you. No, it's like just I for some reason, maybe it's just the people I've met from Dallas.
They all have their shit together a lot earlier in life. And it feels like they're just older at a younger age.

Yeah, he was probably a caddy when he was 20 years old in like the summer after his sophomore year.

And he started his 401k.

Right.

With like $2,000 that he made then.

We were compound interest.

So we were robbed from a few things on Sunday.

One, we were robbed from any drama.

But more importantly, we were robbed.

Cam Smith.

It felt like he was going to maybe compete, even to a point, like, I don't know, somewhere in the back nine, he got it to three strokes, and then he went right into the drink. He birdied 11, and then...
He birdied 11, and then he went in the drink. But we were really robbed of PFT doing an Australian accent for the beginning of the show.
And probably for the next six months. It sucks.
Honestly, every time Cam Smith was going to be in the news. I was rooting so hard for Cam Smith, number one, because he's Australian.
And you could have done the accent. I could have done the accent.
I really just have a soft spot for Australia. Anyone that's listened to the show for any period of time knows that.
Two, the mullet and the mustache combo. I'm pretty sure that there's rules at Augusta National.
They're like the Yankees. Yeah.
Where if you show up wearing that, if you're not competing in a major tournament, and you just show up there with a mullet and that dirty blonde mustache, they're allowed to shoot you. The security force at Augusta is allowed to put you down like a dog.
He was a fun guy to root for. It was not meant to be.
There is a little bit of a witch hunt, however, that we can do on Scottyffler oh i'm sure scotty's a nice guy i'm sure he's like a nice guy everyone seems to like him no one has a bad word about him about as boring as they come in the best way that was from one of his good friends henry higgs i i did nail that name uh so on saturday he hit i think was on 18 hit his drive Yep. And he had to, like, crawl underneath some branches to find it.

And he said that he was looking for, I think, a Titleist 7.

Uh-oh.

And the ball that he said that he found clearly had the number 6 on the side of it. Uh-oh.

So there are a lot of golfs to listen.

Now, if we were to rewind, like, six years back to when it was legal for people to, like, call up and report rule violations,

because I guess the USGA just, like, deputized every American that was watching TV to be like auxiliary officials. Some people were saying that it's not the right ball.
Then maybe he signed an incorrect scorecard on Saturday. So Rory.
So Rory might be. So cash my bet because I did the thing when you're watching a tournament where you're like the guy who's winning.
You're like he can't win. He's like He can't win like this, so you just bet everyone underneath him, and it turns out he just wins like this.
He just won, even though he four-putted on 18? He four-putted on 18. Unders club got absolutely ruined.
Rory, by the way, had the shot of the tournament probably on 18. He went bunker to bunker, and then Sir Nick Faldo completely ruined it.
The fact that they get to watch it before us, and then he says, watch this. He's like, you wouldn't believe this.
Like, well, actually, we do believe it because you told us it was going to happen. Well, the gallery blew up.
The gallery was screaming. He was like, oh, you're not going to believe what's just happened.
And it's like, no, we can believe it because guess what? You told us it was going to be incredible, and then it happened. And then Nance like one-upped him with Morikawa the next one.
He's like, oh, you want to spoil it? I'll spoil it. Which really, it was just basically a dick measuring contest between the two of them.
Who could spoil it more? And the only people that lost was like the millions of people at home trying to gain any type of drama out of Sunday at Augusta. Yeah.
Yeah. They really ring that out.
I don't think that if Nick had not, excuse me, Sir Nick Feldo, had not ruined it, I don't think that Jim Nance does it. You're right.
I think he was just like, okay, you did it. I'm going to have my shot at it.
Yeah, we can both play this game. Also, I mean, Max almost hunted down Tiger.
They were neck and neck. We got to talk about Max.
Max made the cut. Yeah, that's a big deal.
Max made the cut at Augusta. He guaranteed he was going to make the cut.
Positive vibes worked. I was just, I felt like Gary V on steroids on Friday.
I was just looking for memes about positive thinking. I tweeted him a Winnie the Pooh meme at one point being like, this got to work.
But he made the cut. I think next year our strategy should not be to put so much onus on making the cut because I think Max thought the tournament ended after he made the cut.
Yeah. Because the way he played after he made the cut – and again, we did positive vibes only, but now we can speak honestly.
The way he played after he made the cut was disgusting, and he should probably turn in his tour card. He was neck and neck with the greatest golfer that's ever played the game.
We've always talked about the pressure. We've talked about the pressure that you feel when you're playing next to Tiger Woods.
And he was. He was playing next to Tiger.
So he only lost to Tiger by one stroke. I think one behind or ahead.
That's what I mean by next to. They were not in the same.
They were in the same area. They could see each other.
of sight was clear. And Max had a lot of pressure on him and they Max proof the course.
They don't allow cell phones. And that's Max's biggest strength.
Yeah, he did own up to it, though. He said afterwards.
So on Saturday, he played poorly and we're like, it can't get worse than this. And he went on Twitter and was like, guys, guess what? It's not going to get worse than this.
He said, today was a bummer, but tomorrow I get to play the final round at the Masters,

and that's pretty damn cool, even if Positive Vibes Only has ended after Friday.

I'll be shooting under par tomorrow.

Let's get it.

Hashtag golf.

Narrator voice, he did not shoot under par.

What did he shoot?

Like, fucking 10 over?

10 over?

Yeah, take away the one.

Yeah.

He almost shot under par.

He did say maybe the worst prediction of all time afterwards. So, max for that i listen max is our friend um as as much as he embarrassed this podcast on saturday and sunday all weekend just getting dragged like i was we could talk about tiger in a second but i said something about tiger and people were just like what about your boy max like dude i didn't sign i didn't sign up to defend his terrible golf that's bullshit i did positive vibes to get him to saturday and sunday what he does after that that's not part of the deal but i'm gonna i'm gonna help out max i i've had worse predictions i'm sure there's many many but someone reminded me of it i think is i think it's uh i can't remember his twitter name is Karen something.
Karen A263. There it is.
Yes. Karen with an A.
Karen.

On. reminded me of it i think is i think it's uh i can't remember his twitter name is karen something karen a263 there it is yes so with an a so uh on on uh december 20th 2020 someone tweeted me bucks to the super bowl and i quote tweeted and i said no they're frauds they ended up winning the super bowl not only getting there but winning it so see max we all have bad predictions yeah i i've never had one yeah I'm pretty good about that I knew that Max was gonna it was all written ahead of time we knew what was gonna happen Max made making the cut his Super Bowl and I'm very proud of him he won his personal Super Bowl now next time I think next major let's see if we can shoot at par or underneath in the third round and then we'll let the chips fall where they may on Sunday yeah but we But we got to ease our way into this.
Once it happens, it happens all at once. Scotty Scheffler had not won a PGA tournament until this year.
Now he's won like four out of six. Yes.
And the dude is insane right now. I do think we should probably go back to just being mean to him.
It seems like he performs better when he's playing like the NFT open and shit. So we got to just go back to that.
Well, how long until the next major? This is where Max goes on a little run. Yeah.
Next week when all the guys who competed for the Masters are like, no, I'm taking a week off. May 19th, PGA Championship.
Was that the fifth major? Where is it? Tulsa. Oh, he's going to suck.
He's going to be terrible. And then the U.S.
Open in June is in Boston. He's going to be terrible in that, too.
Or Brookline, excuse me. He's going to be fucking awesome.
I feel like he's going to be terrible. Pencil in the weekend of the NBA Finals, whatever weekend that's going to be in.
That's when Max is going to win some bullshit tournament. We'll be watching game one of the NBA Finals, and people will be tweeting us like, Dude, what about your boy Max? We're like, well, there's a fucking golf right now.
It'll go into like quadruple overtime. It'll be the best game.
Instant classic ever. Max is going to like shoot bogey golf on his on his last 18 and win the tournament back into it.
But we got to get our mind right. We'll be fine.
We love Max, even though he sucks. We love him.
We do. I genuinely like you can love someone when they just suck at their job.
Billy's here. That was too easy.
I set myself up for that. I'm sorry.
Billy doesn't suck at his job. We also love Will Zalatouris.
Yes. And he played well on Sunday.
Except another heartbreak. He not finishing top five was just I had the friends, the friends of the program bet, whereas Willie Z, Brooks, who Brooks actually didn't.

He withdrew from the Masters.

He beat Bryson.

He beat Bryson.

So did Sandy Lyles.

And Brooks was also clearly not feeling 100%. He's basically still on one leg.

It's, again, I don't want to go back and pass here, but, like, the fact that Brooks even

tried to play is, like, come on.

I saw Tiger doing his fake limp. Brooks could barely walk.
He got taken out in an ambulance. You didn't see that on Friday? So Brooks will be fine.
But, yeah, the bet was Will Zalatouris, Max Homo, Brooks Koepka combined. One of them has to finish top five.
So that's just how my weekend went. Will Zalatouris has maybe the best golfer forehead to end of all time.
Yeah, he does off it's worse than steward sink when he takes the hat off it's just like a pasty forehead he's got literally like a two-tone it looks like the ice cream that you dig into where it's like vanilla on top and then caramel second layer yeah that's like his forehead is gradient i can i ask a question about scotty sheffler because we should probably. I mean, we're going to talk to Scott Van Pelt.

So, big weekend for Scotties.

Would you qualify him as a Haas?

He might be a Haas.

No, I don't think he's a Haas.

John Rahm is a Haas.

He's a beast.

He might be a Haas, dude.

How tall is he?

I don't think he's a Haas.

He's got the Haas look in his eyes, too.

You know what?

6'3", 200.

He might be a Haas.

He's a big boy.

He might be a Haas.

I think he's a Bubba.

I think he's a big Bubba.

If you chip in, like he chipped in and don't even celebrate, that's a big boy. He might be a hoss.
I think he's a Bubba. I think he's a big Bubba.
If you chip in, like, he chipped in and don't even celebrate, like, that's a big hoss energy. Yeah, I think he's a hoss.
I think so. He was locked in.
Jon Rahm, by the way, like, dude, you got to find a better shirt. Like, Bubba's are, I mean, Bubba fucking has the, like, hover cart.
You're not going to see Scotty Scheffler on, like, a hover craft rolling around the 18th green like Bubba. You're right.
I probably won't see that. No, but he does.
You know what I'm talking about? Scotty Scheffler has. Didn't Bubba Watson do that? Yeah, the golf boy.
Scotty Scheffler has like, it's like a little bit of, he almost kind of looks a little bit like Jim Tomey. Like a little bit of a lost country strong.
He's got the big face. He's a little Adam Dunn-ish.
Yeah. He's lost.
Oh, you know what he looks like? He looks like that dude from the video that kept going viral this weekend, the guy that stepped out and did the country line dance. You know Rico? Shuffling his feet around a little bit.
That was Rico, yeah. No, that guy is way more of a hoss than Rico.
Yeah. No, it didn't look like Scotty Scheffler at all.
It looked like Rico. But, yeah, Scotty Scheffler.
He looked like Spieth's older brother, and they're both from Dallas. He's a hoss.
He looked like – yeah. He's like a diesel Spieth.
If he was from Fort Worth, I would say he's a Haas. But you know what? He's actually New Jersey.
Jersey should claim him. He should claim him.
Jersey hasn't had a lot of dubs recently. He's a Haas.
I think I'm going to tag him with Haas. I bet on him, and I was watching him very carefully, and he had big Haas energy.
The way he was not celebrating and just dialed in. And then a quote came out today that he said he broke down in his wife's arm this morning crying.
And he said he didn't think he was big enough for the moment. And so to do that and then to come out and just be fucking.
She looked him in the eyes like, you're a hoss. Yeah, exactly.
Go be a hoss. Yeah, that's actually exactly how it happened.
He also had, like, there were people, golf, Twitter, like, when I step into golf, Twitter, it's scarier than stepping than stepping into like UFC Twitter, soccer Twitter. There were, though, some pictures of like his follow through that I guess was bad form.
That's Hoss energy where it's like not people like this is the guy leading the Masters and his hands were all fucked up and everything. But he was just crushing.
He's got a very compact swing is what they were saying about him. And there were some golf likeists that were saying that his swing is not good, actually.
Right, so that's hot. So it's not sustainable for him to do it.
It's been sustainable for the last month and a half. That's pretty good.
He's on a very hot streak. So before we talk about Tiger, let's talk about our hypothetical.
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At my tailor-made clubs, we could really do this hypothetical. The hypothetical was Scotty Scheffler stepping up to the 18th tee box at Augusta with a five-stroke lead.
Is that right? Five-stroke lead. It's a par four.
He's got to hit an eight to win the Masters. And the hypothetical was, could an average golfer step up under the exact same circumstances and get an eight to win the Masters? I thought it was nine.
Nine was to tie for a playoff. Oh, that's a big difference.
Yeah, you said a nine, though. But I think it's now that I'm doing the math in my head.
We're adjusting the rules. Well, no.
We're not adjusting the rules. We're adjusting the scores.
I got to recalibrate my cali. I don't think it matters.
But PFC said he could do it. I don't think it matters.
I said I would hit 13 if lucky. Most people said no, no chance.
With the pressure, with everything, with the golf, with the one guy say, all you gotta do is get on the right plane of the green at Augusta and you can play bogey golf. He said that he played so much on video games, he'd be able to do it.
BFD, you think you can putt your way to an 8 on the 18th hole? I think I can do it, by the way. 25% yes, 75% no.
No chance. I could do it.
I got the clutch, Gene. I could do it with a putter.
Just got to hit it. I would putt every single shot.
465 yards. I've simulated the hole.
I did the guided walkthrough of the hole on YouTube a few minutes ago and checked out. It's mostly downhill from the start.
Then it goes uphill later, but I'm just focused on the downhill part. I need to know some things about the conditions.
Is it like today? Perfect conditions. Perfect conditions.
What am I hitting, like a Pro V1? No, it'd be a tailor-made I go putter, off the deck Off the tee box Off the tee? No, off the deck In golf terms it means no tee And then I just go putter the entire time I end up hitting 8, maybe 9 Which shot do you get to the green on? My putter. No, but like how many putts do you have from the green? I think I get to the green.
I have to two putt once I get to the green. You hit your putter, what, 100? 100 yards? Like 50 to 70.
So 50 to 70 means if you hit it 70, you get to the green in seven shots. And then I two-putt for the nine.
Okay, all right, got it. No, also pin placement matters.
Is the pin – Sunday pins. Is it attackable? No, it's Sunday pins.
All right, if the pin's attackable, if it's center green, I think I could do it an eight. If it's back right, that might be an eight or a nine.
I think I could do it. All right, I know I can't do it.
We've tried this before and we we pulled it up watch pm tv which will be out on tuesday on the youtube channel subscribe by the way the youtubes are out right away so if you're listening right now you can go watch us um we went and pulled up the footage and it was a 265 hole a yard hole that you did it in uh 465 is a little bit different. Well, it wasn't a 285-yard hole.
It was I had already hit my driver into the woods off the tee. Like 100? And then Tony Shuffler was like, bet you can't make it from here on out in like nine strokes or less using just your putter.
And this was also not Augusta. I'm pretty good hitting my putter for distance.
That's probably my strongest. Honestly, if I tee off with a driver, I might as well just throw my ball into the woods.
It's a negative. Even though I do it all the time.
When I'm golfing, I'm going to let the big dog eat off the tee, even though it's going to bite me in the ass. I just go putter the entire time.
I think I'd go 13. I documented it.
I'd slice it into the woods. I would hit it into a tree, then I'd hit it out onto the fairway,

then I'd probably have to smoke a bowl, because my nerves would be going crazy, we'd have to take a timeout, Sir Nick Faldo would have to, like, ruin the Sopranos, that asshole. Then I'd hit one good shot.
Piece of shit. Yeah, piece of shit.
One good shot, then I just like a uh like a uh sorry a sand wedge that i can't hit for shit for five yards then another one on then i'd putt like five times 13 so my strategy is basically just designed to avoid all the hazards if i get in the bunker i'm fucked but if i just hit the i was looking at the fairway too i was like okay there's shot one there's shot two shot three i'm gonna have to split these bunkers that's gonna be tricky i don't think you know how far I can fucked. But if I just hit the fairway, I was looking at the fairway, too.
I was like, okay, there's shot one. There's shot two.
Shot three, I'm going to have to split these bunkers. That's going to be tricky.
I don't think you know how far I can hit my putter, Big Cat. I've watched it.
My putter game. I watched you do it.
It was eight shots on 265 yards. But I had to also recalibrate my last couple shots because I was on the green.
Right. But the greens on Augusta are pretty hard.
So it'd roll. No.
Yeah, you'd roll back off, and you'd have to hit it back on. I don't know.
I feel like— I was saying, I legitimately don't think if you started on the opposite edge of the green as the hole, I don't know if you could nine putt. Yeah, no, and by the way, this was not— You're not factoring how much harder a regular green is versus the greens.
You're acting like it's a hypothetical where it's like, could you— You're acting like it's one of those hypotheticals where it's like, could you get seven yards on a carry in the NFL?

This is completely different.

It's completely different.

But you, but the best part is it was, it was not said in shtick.

It was like an honest moment where you're like, yeah, I could do that.

I could do it.

I could do it.

Yeah.

Easy.

I mean, they let dude perfect desecrate and piss all over the course.

Letting me try this at Augusta, I feel like would be way classier than that.

Three more years and we'll probably be on Augusta. So we should talk a little Tiger.
Tiger went from, could he actually win this thing on Thursday? And don't, listen, I had the thought, and I know a lot of people said the thought. So I don't want the goalposts to move.
I had Tiger fans up my ass. I said that watching him on Sunday was a little depressing because he was clearly like injured and he was playing the worst he's ever played at Augusta I get the counterpoint like just having him out there is great and it was but that went quickly from watch out for Tiger to I'm just happy he's alive well he can still play one round but it turns out that there's a lot.
Yeah. Turns out that there are hills and shit that you need to move your ankles on.
And yeah, so he's just sore. Very, very sore by the day.
After it was over, he was like meeting with his family, trying to walk up those hills after 18. He looked like he wanted to cut his own leg off.
Yeah. It looked painful.
And that was my point was like, it's not fun watching him in pain, like struggle. I think there was a stretch.
I think it was four, five, six or something where he had never went bogey, bogey, bogey at Augusta there. And he did that on Sunday.
So, listen, I get that a lot of people are just very happy he's back. I count myself as one of them.
I also would love to see him back like competing and not in pain. It does mean that he's probably going to play.
I think he already said he's going to play at the British Open yeah the Open Championship excuse me maybe the U.S. Open more Tigers better yes I did though I so I was watching it I was getting depressed watching him limp around and so I just went instead and looked up some Tiger stats to make me feel good so I just threw a throw a couple out there.
In 1997, so today's Masters was very boring. In 1997, Tiger won the Masters by 12 strokes.
Yep. He was minus 18.
The second place was minus six. I think that was the one they had the special on before too, with Jim Nance.
Yeah, that was his first major tournament win. He had a nine-shot lead going into Sunday.
He was so good in that tournament that they had to change the entire course because they said, well, Tiger's going to win every single Masters for the next 20 years. Yes.
He won seven majors by three shots or more in his career. From 1997 to 2009, in majors combined tiger went uh 134 strokes under par the second person in those like majors combined 1997 to 2009 was phil plus 99 think about that pretty incredible 134 under par combined the second place person was plus 99 and the last that which is awesome is he has he's third all-time in European Tour wins with 41, and he's never played full-time on the European Tour.
That's insane. That's fucking awesome.
That's my Tiger Fun stat. The difference was this time we kind of had to recalibrate how we think about Tiger Woods because this was, for the first time ever, the some things are bigger than sports round that Tiger had.

Whereas previously, literally nothing was more important to Tiger Woods than Tiger Woods playing good at Augusta.

Right.

At the Masters.

And it was like, there were some times when it felt, I don't know, the whole monster energy drink sponsoring his bag.

I don't know if that's something that Tiger's had for a while.

It felt a little weird.

Like it was almost like beneath Tiger where it's like like if you see Jimmy Carter hawking cryptocurrency. Right.
It's like Tiger with a monster bag. And that was the part where I was getting slightly bummed out because he got in the red on Sunday.
So there was it felt, oh, man, I've seen this before. This is awesome.
Good memories flashing back. Then it's like, oh, wait, it's he's playing it like, you know, 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He's in the back night at 1 o'clock in the afternoon. This is weird.
Yeah. Nothing about this really, like, fits my memories of Tiger Woods.
Yeah. But it was great to have him back.
It was good to have him back. Yeah.
They should have just let him tee off later on in the day just so we get that consistency. Well, they should have just let him go up against Scotty Scheffler

just to intimidate him because then we would have had drama.

That would have been great if we were just like, oh, you know what?

New rule, because Augusta can make any rules they want.

New rule, Tiger just gets to start with whatever the leader's score is on Sunday.

All-time quarterback.

And then also after they put the green jacket on Scotty Scheffler,

Dude Perfect comes out and the twins spray him down with a super soaker. Perfect.
That's exactly what we need. But yeah, great Masters.
Love Masters Week. We're going to talk more with Scott Van Pelt in a minute about Masters Week.
Before we get to who's back, we should at least mention the tragic passing of Dwayne Haskins. That was very sad on Saturday um you know he were huge football fans obviously he played for he drafted and played for the Redskins commanders what football team but very very sad anyone who you know any death that happens that early in life is very tragic but then when you also just think about like how his story and it felt like he was coming back and all these things it's just really really sad he was so young i think he was what like 24 25 yeah it's tragic there's really nothing else that you can say about it besides like it's you feel for his wife or his family it sucks it sucks i mean i i don't want to get into a thing where we talk about the different takes that came out well about him but i will say that what gil brant said when he called into that radio show it it was eerily similar to what like colin coward and mike wilbon were saying about sean taylor when he was in the hospital after he got shot it's just like some people just need to realize that like it's there's a human being that has a family that's going through this right now.
I think a weird thing happens in 2022 on Twitter. The Gil Brandt thing was appalling.
Like you said, we don't have to go into depth about what Gil Brandt said wrong because we all know what he said wrong. But it always strikes me as weird when a tragedy like that happens, and it's a true tragedy.
It kind of gut-punched me. I have no connectionne has to but it gut punched me because I was like holy shit this guy's so young everything in front of him it's just very bizarre to me that uh because we live in a world where like everyone has to have a take about everything it's tragedy and then immediately let's pile on someone who didn't you know deal with this exactly right like you're yeah shefter got it and shefter on his tweet was horrible but he's he's an idiot right but i also like and maybe i'm just maybe this is wrong of me but i always just feel weird that his tweets bad but it's also just feels weird that we then spend the entire day instead of talking about duane haskins Haskins, like doing the Twitter pile on.
And I'm a hypocrite because I've done the Twitter pile on before. I'm trying to do a better job about it.
But it felt weird to me that the entire day was Schefter was trending because everyone had to get their dunk in instead of just being like, this is tragic. Remember Dwayne Haskins.
Like, retweet a story about Dwayne Haskins, not, hey, I can't believe Schefterfter said this and I'm going to keep tweeting about how Schefter said this all day yeah no if I die and Schefter has a bad tweet about it which is very likely that he would um don't talk about Adam Schefter's tweet like it's not it's not about it's not about him I think what it is is people were upset it's a tragedy they need something to be mad at something like because they've got a lot of pent-up energy they see this there's emotions running wild and they don't know what to do so it's like okay that's the person that's bad that's where i can redirect all my all my sadness and grief towards it's like pointing at him it's yeah it's so bizarre to me it's similar to the read the room guys where it's like you're like a tragedy happens and then your first ink like thought is let me go in police twitter and see who's dealing with this in the 10 minutes after the correct way and not it just the whole thing is bizarre i i've now like you know stepped away from all like if something happens that's tragic i'll retweet the the message and and just leave it at that because it's just like, it's not, you don't have to have a take about everything. Yeah, sometimes.
You don't have to spend the entire day dunking on Gil Brandt and Adam Schefter and then making it about that instead of making it about the tragedy and Dwayne Haskins' life and everything he accomplished. Sometimes it's okay to just be sad about stuff.
Right. And to not have to get mad at somebody for doing something despicable and let that take over your emotions.
It's okay to just be sad about stuff right and to not have to get mad at somebody for doing something despicable and let that take over your emotions it's okay to just be like this is this is a tragedy i feel awful for him for his whole family for everybody involved it's just it's just sad in the special wrinkle that happened too because i was you know watching it all unfold and it was uh like colleagues of adam schefter knowing they can't call out adam chapter so going even harder on gil brand yeah it's like you guys like what what's going on right now why is everyone doing this just let's remember dwayne haskins i saw that video um of when dwayne haskins was a kid and he was in the ohio state locker room and he's like someday i'm gonna be the ohio state quarterback that was you know like broke my heart again so that season that he had in ohio state was incredible 50 touchdowns yeah he was incredible yeah yeah so the whole thing is sad and uh we had to mention it because obviously it was a big story this weekend but i don't think that there's anything that we can add to it besides just the fact it's sad it's really really sad right right and you know life is precious and i think we all know that um all right let's do by the way we we just uh as a side note we just did like tech support that was incredible this whole studio just blew up in between like we basically don't even describe it if i wanted to i i i don't even know what happened it's like there was a like one of those emps that went off from oceans 11 where every electronic in the studio is shut down simultaneously for different reasons yeah i got under the dad mode i got under the hood started just i'm doing all the all the technical research that i've all the years of college that i used in computer science which i'd never even studied uh to just go and i basically found the power strip and said hank i, I'm unplugging this cord. Did it do anything? Okay, Hank, I'm unplugging this cord.
Did it do anything? Until we found the cord that needed to be unplugged. Which broke something else.
Yes. Which I still don't know really what happened.
Billy filmed the whole thing on his cell phone. I don't know how that's going to come out, but.
Check out on TikTok. Oh, there we go.
We documented the whole, the part of my take TikTok. Can you do, can you do we didn't have the i don't think we had the spike moment which was unfortunate but i know that was the can you do the harlem shake to it can you remix it i'm gonna make it like really uh emotional but can you also make me a harlem shake version yes how did that work by the way did the did the tick tock blow up did you bring back I mean, it did very well.
All right, there you go. Billy invented Harlem Shake.
Good answer. All right, let's do Who's Back.
I'm an idiot. I don't know what day it is.
And then we have Scott Van Pelt live from Augusta, and then we will talk some NBA because the playoffs are set on the other side of Scott Van Pelt. Before we get to Who's Back, you know who's back always, Coors Light.
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Okay, who's back of the week? Henry. My who's back of the week is Vladimir Guerrero Jr.
Yeah, that ass. He's hitting bombs with that ass.
He hit a home run today that was literally a line drive, 467 feet. I've never seen a ball with a launch angle like this one had.
It looked like a special effect. You know the commercials or whatever where it's like the final scene is someone hitting a baseball, and then the baseball hits the camera or something? It looked like that in real life.
It was a line drive that went 467 feet. That's really all you can say.

It was a monster dunk.

Bubba, what's your rating?

You're the expert when it comes to...

Oh, I'm looking at it right now, dude.

That's a dinger.

That is a tater.

I'll give it like 4.5 balls.

It wasn't even a moonshot.

It was sick.

It was like a perfect home run.

For some reason, I don't know what it is.

Someone could have got hurt.

That was like a foul ball. All the players that are sons of former big leaguers, like your Vlad Guerrero juniors, your Bo Bichettes, your Fernando Tatis Jr., all these guys just hit the coolest looking home runs.
Jack Leiter just throws gas. It is wild, yeah.
Yeah. Your Drake LaRoche's?

Great one.

Great one, Hank.

Yeah, who's back?

Monster Dongs, Vladimir Guerrero. Drake LaRoche is actually 30 years old.

I know, it's crazy.

Yeah, no, there's nothing better than a Dong.

Just a, yeah.

It's just the best.

Big old Dong.

It is the best.

You guys are just fucking tempting me over there.

They should have a Red Zone channel that's just taters. Yeah, the Dong Network.
Dogs and taters, yeah. Just dropping them on everyone.
All right, PFT, you're who's back? My who's back, I got a couple of them. First is Pintar.
Oh. Pintar's back.
There was a controversy in college baseball where a guy, let's see, I'm pulling up the team right now, hit a home run ucf uh he had a three-run dinger and then he got kicked out for having too much pine tar and then everybody got kicked out after that because it started a brawl because the manager got pissed off that the other manager narked on the pine tar yeah but it was very it was very reminiscent of the george brett pine tar incident yeah the umpires crowd around the bat and i honestly didn't even know that college baseball players use pine tar on aluminum bats. I don't really understand.
It always seemed like something that was wood related. Yeah.
You got the wood and then you got the wood come, which is sap. I believe that's what sap is.
And then you measure it that way. But yeah, I guess they're using it in college baseball too.
What is the problem with having too much pine tar? I never really understood. It's the grip, I think.
But they measure how far down the barrel it goes. So, like, why is it a problem? Oh, because I think they use it.
Oh, it might be because it might come off the bat differently, too. So if you hit the ball with the pine tar part of the bat, then it's tougher for the infielder to field or throw? Probably.
Probably the ball has stickiness to it. I don't know, but it was awesome.
It was awesome seeing like five guys get ejected at the same time. And a bro in college baseball is pretty sick.
Then my other who's back of the week is the Pittsburgh Pirates. The Pirates are back.
I am bringing back. I was debating whether or not to switch my bet up to the Orioles this year.
I've got a proprietary system. It's an algorithm that tells me who to bet on for baseball.
Last year I was up 24 a half units on the season so i suck at gambling but i'm very good at betting on baseball and my algorithm is thus you just bet against the pittsburgh pirates every single game and so we're bringing it back this year uh only for road games i think because it took too much money away from the sports book so they're trying to limit how much money you can make off them don't don't play their games um so we're gonna bet on road games every pirates team under and uh for the other team to win money line love it against the pirates and we're gonna all make a bunch of money i was thinking about going to the orioles because the orioles might be lucky to win 55 games this year and the new wall they really and they have the new wall, which is just – We hate it. It's fucked up what they did to that wall.
They desecrated that stadium. So, yeah, the Pirates are back.
Right now it's 2-1 on the season, but I'm sure that it'll get off to a hot start again this year. We're just baseball heavy.
What are you going to say, Bob? Speaking of, that Vlad Guerrero home run, there's an account called Wood at Dong,

and it bases it.

It's like the trajectory and everything of it,

of if it would be out in all 30 stadiums.

And that one was only 28 out of 30.

Really?

Yeah.

I was thinking Fenway wouldn't have been one

because it's too high in center.

I can't think of the other one.

Maybe Petco.

Maybe Houston.

Orioles.

I feel like Jake would like that.

Yeah.

That is good.

I love that account just because every right field home run of the Yankees is a one out of 30. Yeah.
Houston might be the other one because they've got the train up there. Juan Soda's ball is still up there.
Yeah. All right.
My who's back. We're baseball heavy.
My who's back is the Yankees because the yankees posted a hype video to start the season that said uh no moral victories no excuses no storylines no narratives and then after uh garrett cole's first start he said that uh the game being delayed four minutes was an unforeseen challenge for him he said the festivities got a little away the schedule. I love psycho baseball pitchers that have their routines and they can't let anything out of there.
Are you sure it was four minutes? Four minutes. Did somebody fuck with his mound? One of the beat writers.
Garrett Cole said that the delayed start 1.12 p.m. instead of 1.08 p.m.
was an unforeseen challenge for him. The festivities got a little away from the schedule, Cole said.
I think I saw KFC, our colleague, mention it, which was spot on. He's like, Garrett Cole, before he came to New York, everyone just assumed he was like the badass dude who just gets on the mound and shoves and just fucking throws heat down your throat.
And then he comes to Nework and he's just he's like sweaty and he can't answer questions correctly and the only time he gets anything right is when he talks about how he was a yankee fan before you know like when he was a kid like he's just a loser i think it has to do with the fact that he had to cut his hair and shave his beard to become a yankee that's a yankee fan anybody can be a filthy dude that shoves if they've got a beard. But, dude.
You know what? He was a Haas. But he was a Haas.
He was a Haas. But you can't be that same guy if you get rid of your beard.
What's the thing? Jake is a Yankee fan, so is Billy. What was the poster he held up? Yankee fan today, Yankee fan tomorrow, Yankee fan forever.
So he knows the Yankee way. Like, that really is.
Garrett Cole just goes in between getting shelled, answering questions incorrectly about spider tack, and then every once in a blue moon, someone asks him about a memory when he was a kid, and he's like, yeah, I was at Derek Jeter's, like, you know, 3,000th hit game. That was cool.
Maybe it's the fact that he puts so much more pressure on himself because he did grow up a yankee fan yeah where he's like now i'm representing the pinstripes not just myself did he pitch that bad he might not have even pitched that bad because you know he gave up three in the first inning then he settled down a little bit oh so it was the start it was the it was the four minute delay yeah just a hilarious thing for him to say like i dude you got to know how stupid that sounds. I need somebody to look up the stats on players that have been traded or signed with the Yankees halfway through their career, if they're beard guys, if their performance has always declined once they get to New York.
I know Johnny Damon, he won a World Series, right? But he was not the same player that he was in Boston. I bet you it's almost every player that goes there.

If you have to cut your hair or shave to change your personal appearance, I bet it throws you

off.

Samson effect.

Yep.

Did Randy Johnson shave his beard when he sucked when he was on the Yankees, but he also was

like 38?

He was a mustache guy.

I thought he was on the Yankees.

Yeah, he was so old when he went to the Yankees.

The big unit.

But they allow mustaches.

Mustaches, no sideburns. Yep.
And your hair can go down to your collar and no further. Yeah.
All right, Billy, you're who's back? My first who's back. Fuck anyone who says we don't talk baseball, by the way.
I also, I'm now like so committed on the Mariners somehow getting to the World Series because there was one guy who was like, you guys are the number one sports podcast, and all we got for a baseball preview was half-assed Mariners are going to go to the World Series. If I somehow am right, I'm going to frame that tweet.
I'm going to invite that guy to come into the studio. Can you imagine if it's the Phillies and the Padres in the World Series, how right I would be? Yes, that would be sick.
If the AL just imploded. That would be the all-time prediction.
Yeah. We are going to have a couple baseball guests coming up.
So everyone just, listen, we get to things late. Things sneak up on us.
Remember when we did our NBA preview in like January? We're actually going to do another NBA preview with Ryan Russo. Yeah, right.
Like we, just relax. We know when football season starts.
We say football is back basically from June february and then everything else we missed by a couple weeks just chill out billy uh my who's back is ufos there was a weird sighting in the sky in alaska a picture just been released it basically looks like a long trail of smoke with a no one knows what it is object at the end of it over Anchorage and many are saying that it might have been a UFO that was shot out of the eye that they don't want us to know about but the government is saying it was just a contrail or maybe it's Russia being like thick ass contrail it looks like a worm you think it has anything to do with our studio falling apart? I think it has a lot to do with it. Something's going on.
Maybe they're like, you know what? Our planes aren't doing so well in Ukraine. Let's try going over to Alaska.
Exactly. I got a blog coming out on it.
Check it out on BarstoolSports.com. And my second who's back is Ronaldo.
Ronaldo. Jail.
Yeah. Assaulting children.
Because he said Ronaldo? What was Jake? Oh, no. He stole his who's back.
Oh. No, it was the pronunciation.
No, I think nailed it. Jail.
Oh, because he said Ronaldo? Was Jake... Oh, no, he stole his who's back.

Oh.

No, it was the pronunciation.

No, I think he nailed it.

Is it Ronaldo?

No, that's how they say it.

No, that's appropriate.

That's how they say it in England.

Jake just...

Every time.

That's like when you...

I see it out of the corner of my eye.

He breaks.

Yeah.

Ronaldo.

He can't help himself from like...

Jail.

Ronaldo.

Jail.

That guy should go to jail.

He hit a kid. He was limping, coming off the pitch after a loss and wasn't feeling the cameras in his face at that moment.
All right, so there's two things that are going on here. One, I do think, because we had Brooks, our guy Brooks had a little camera incident.
I think there should be a law in the world that if you are close enough for the person to slap the phone out of your hand without them having to make a move towards you then you legally can get your phone slapped out of your hand so if you're like if i'm walking up to you pft and i'm like this i can't do it but if i'm like that you should be able to slap it because like dude that is the bubble but in this in this situation the kid was in his space he owned his area right if we're talking about this in nba terms block and charge he had position and then ronaldo drove right at him right i just loved this uh because i do think he should be in jail for life for this um he hurt that kid's hand there was a a thread on twitter that was very funny because it had a picture of the kid's hand and it was just like, his hand was like slightly red. Like that was, that would have been one where, you know what? I could, I could go to England right now and I have to do this with my son all the time.
Like I could kiss the boo-boo and we'd be fine. Like it'd be like, you're good.
You're good to go. But at the end of the Twitter thread, they had a, it was the Irish daily mirror and they said anyone with information on this incident is asked to contact merseyside police social media desk via twitter it's like we what do you mean anyone who has information we saw it was a video that the kid got his hand slapped and that was it send them the video if anyone knows who might have done this a guy named wearing ronaldo jersey looking like ronaldo well it's a chief suspect it was it.
Send them the video. If anyone knows who might have done this, a guy wearing Ronaldo jersey looking like Ronaldo is a chief suspect.
It was the most famous person in the world hitting a kid on video, so I think we got this one under control. No, but if you see anything or if you know anything about it, please contact them.
Good who's back, Billy. Those are my two.
All right, Jake. Who's back is creating peace because that's exactly what's attempting to be happening

between Rob Manfred and the players of Major League Baseball.

Oh, are they going to take Ukraine-Russia?

No.

Sports podcast.

Bigger things.

Yeah.

He bought every player a pair of headphones.

Oh, that's nice.

It's like they're going to like a JV bowl game.

Here you go, guys.

You can't afford this.

Tell you what, Jake, what would you...

That's a guy with the Mets hat and a Red Sox jersey.

I love it.

There's a lot of those people.

A lot of Mets fans identify with the Red Sox.

That's the best house divided that I've ever seen.

No, it's not a house divided.

That's just a Yankee hater.

It's a Yankee hater.

Internal house divided.

Yeah.

He's just a Yankee hater.

So, Jake, he bought every player headphones? Yeah. Even the minor leaguers? Don't believe so.
Probably not them, no. But he's like, would you rather have- You think after everything, they'd be like, throw them a bone.
Would you rather have an extra $300,000 a year? We're not going to give you livable wages, but- Or would you rather have Beats by Dre? No, that's a like, yo, my bad, dude. Yeah.
Here's some headphones. The sign said, please accept this gift as a small gesture.
My appreciation for the hard work that comes with being a major leaguer. Yeah, very small gesture.
I'm sure most of them don't have headphones either anyway. No.
Although, I could take headphones anytime. Just be like, give me headphones.
That's cool. You always need them.
99-day lockout. But here's headphones.
Yeah, but no one. Also, Jake,, the bases are bigger.
You forgot they gave bigger bases.

I would argue, has anyone ever gotten headphones

and been like, no, I don't want these?

Good point.

I'll always take headphones.

I'll say this. The gift could have been anything, and people would have been like,

oh, that's it?

Yeah, it could have been a blank check for a million

dollars each.

Thank you for standing

up for Commissioner Rob Manford. Appreciate that.
If he wants to give me headphones I'll take it nice put that on the list no I'm being honest you you just said it I would let him give me I heard the pause and I go back to it and calm sound word I'm not gonna. The pause.
That's too much. He said, if Commissioner Rob Manford wants to give me headphones.
That's what he said. I said headphones.
Yeah, right. Listen, any guy can give me headphones, and I would take it.
All right, PFT, you want to do a quick word before we go? Scott Van Pelt, by the way, is in his car, so on the way to the airport, he's very gracious to give us his time every single Masters right after the tournament ends. So, there was like one weird moment where we lost him, but it's all good because it's always great to have Scott on.
Yeah, it's great to have Scott on. And if you just won a massive, massive tournament, got a lot of money, don't forget it's tax season coming up.
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Now here's Scott Van Pelt. Okay, we now welcome on one of our favorite recurring guests.
A tradition unlike any other, Scott Van Pelt calling us on his way to the airport from Augusta.

Texas big roll coming up soon.

Scott, let's start with the winner.

How big is this for Scott's everywhere and Scotties? I felt like I won, you know.

They were chanting, Scottie, Scottie, Scottie, and I was just standing up pumping my fist. It was emotional.
Not a lot of Scotties win stuff, but now I feel like everything's changed. What's the difference between a Scott and a Scottie? Did you ever go by Scottie? My family calls me that.
Nick Friedle, who joins me from time to time on SportsCenter, set the record for calling me Scotty. Watch.
Next time he's on, he smiles a lot and calls me Scotty. I love Nick.
He's my doppelganger. Who doesn't? Yeah, yeah.
I get a lot of like, hey, you're on TV whenever Nick is doing hits with you. And probably both of us probably feel a little bad about ourselves because our faces could lose like 10 pounds, but that's okay.
Great dude. Did you start your diet? Yes, I have started it.
Officially. What's it consist of? No eating.
That'll work. Yeah, I just basically don't eat all day, and then at night I come home and I eat all my kids' food, and then I'm like, oh, I didn't eat anything.
There you go. Yeah.
Doesn't count. Yeah, so Scotty Scheffler like we don't know anything about him do you do you get to talk to him do you i know you got to talk to him this weekend but like give us some fun fact that we can then go around and tell everyone like we know more about golf than the average bear i mean i think i think i think he's been pegged as like the like a 45 year old old.
Like he sort of, he kind of carries himself in a very mature way and is super buttoned up. And I mean, I, all I know is this, like he, he hadn't won on super until a Superbowl Sunday and he's won four times since.
And I mean, you come here ranked number one and then you go win a major. I mean, that's Tiger Woods stuff.
You know, that's that's he's he's doing things that tell us that this is sort of who he is. Like this is the this is the space he occupies.
I don't know if I have any fun fact. I'll give you this.
Apparently, his Twitter bio, not his Twitter bio, his PGA tour bio says his favorite course is Southern Hills. And that's where the next major is, which you can watch on ESPN and ESPN Plus, by the way.
Sick plug. Now, what about him? Bet him early.
Bet him early to win. I just, honestly, I just think he's, I'm impressed that he's this mature.
He's more mature than me now, and I'm more than twice his age, which is pitiful. He just feels like a guy that's an adult.
And I don't know, it blows my mind that he's this composed already and just didn't really wobble. Yeah, yeah.
What about his caddy? I feel like maybe one of the underreported stories is his caddy, Ted Scott, one of the best caddies in the game. Here's a fun fact about Ted Scott.
He was the world foosball champion in 1994. Bam, right there.
And they mentioned the two green jackets with Bubba, but I didn't hear the foosball thing until I came on with you guys. So the 18th, we had this debate, and you've seen Augusta, you've been to Augusta, you've golfed Augusta.
Yeah. Let me ask you, you golf, you've been to Augusta, if you walked up to the tee box on the 18th with a lead like he had, knowing you had to just get an eight or a nine for a playoff, would you be able to pull it off? I thought about that.
And with all the people watching, probably not. I think I would probably poop.
Yep. Right? Yep.
Yep. Let's just be honest, right? You probably would freak out a little bit.
I mean, every player that plays thinks, of course, all I need a nine and i'd be fine eight i guess and i'd be okay well you see these guys smacking in the trees and they're the best in the world so i'm not going to do that thing that people do and say like sure i could make an eight i i might not i probably wouldn't what about if you just used a putter you take the trees out of the equation you go putter off the tee and then you could just hit you could just hit seven iron three times and be up there close and then but then the fun starts i mean how many putts did he have on on 18 it felt like five yes yeah yeah and he was he was the leader wait so so we we've never been to augusta are the greens that? Like compared to just going out on a regular weekend if you're going your local course, like how crazy are the greens compared to that?

There's nothing else like them because it's a combination of how fast they are.

And it's married to the slope and like the undulation and the breaks that are some are subtle and some are drastic. You can tell on television.
I mean, all you need to know is Scotty Sheffler, I think he five putted, didn't he? I mean, whatever it was, he was making faces to say, I better make this eventually or this is going to really get embarrassing. Meanwhile, I think it's a bad beat for anybody to bet under, I think 278 and a half or 277 and a half was the was the the score for the over under for the week and i don't know i got eight million tweets i don't know if they're bad beats or not because people get confused sometimes but i think that might have come into play which will be sad for those that were on the wrong side of that because that was a mess yeah here's a fun experiment to do since it was kind of a boring Masters.
The Sunday at least was not really super exciting, at least outside the first six or seven holes. If it had gone 19 holes, do you think that Scotty Shuffler wins this Masters? Sure.
Sure. Here's the thing.
Often, it happened with Tiger in 19. It happened with Matsuyama last year.
If you have the lead, the way you play the hole is entirely different. I mean, you don't need to be aggressive, and you just want to avoid a drastic mistake.
Scheffler's lead was so big he could afford what happened on 18, and it doesn't even matter. So I think, absolutely, I think if he, but hole is it is it 12 do we drop back out to 12 see that we saw what happened to cam smith and that happens every year somebody unfortunately has a moment where it all goes wrong but i mean i get what you're saying if there was another hole i don't think he was leaking oil i think he just knew it doesn't matter what i do here it's just a matter of time until i get to hug my bride and put on a jacket.
Yeah. Yeah.
What was the mood around the course this week? Because we were talking about, you know, DudeGate, DudePerfect, and Bryson desecrating the hallowed grounds there. Do you get the feeling like the grounds crew, they had a chip on their shoulder after that display, and they were like, you know what? We're going to make it tough.
We're going to make it harder than usual was it was more just the fact that the wind blew 30 miles an hour on friday and then saturday was the coldest day i ever remember here i'm i mean it it wasn't cold chicago in the winter cold obviously but it was really cold for april and augusta cold and so friday and saturday were the issue um i mean, if it were, if we had four days like this where the weather was perfect, then I think you'd have seen scores that were a whole lot better. I mean, but honestly, I mean, the mood all week, it was, it was tremendous.
It's what it always is here. People were excited to be here, but then they were excited because Tiger was back.
And then he played well enough the first day where people got excited and thought holy shit what if he what if he can do this and i figured that there'd be some sort of diminishing returns just because his body is is is he's been through so much physically there's just no way to to reasonably think he could do it again and then obviously over the the weekend, he didn't play well. But I mean, him smiling, coming off the green after 78, 78 tells you all you need to know.
I mean, he accomplished a lot in his own mind. And so people were into that.
And then Rory and Morikawa, who I know has been on your show, great dude. They put on a show.
So there was that for some excitement. But I'm not going to try to sell you one.
Wow, it was the dramatic Masters we normally see. It wasn't because Scheffler largely took the wind out of the sails of that.
It was in his hands since Friday night, essentially. Yeah, so I got into it a little bit with the Tiger fanboys, which I need to just back off because they're a fierce group of people on Twitter.

Worse than Tua?

Worse than Tua non?

No, I'm part of Tua non, so don't do that.

I have a lot of stats.

We could talk later.

I just said that I was watching on Sunday.

I was sitting on my couch.

I'm watching Tiger, and I was like, this is kind of depressing

because he's clearly limping, and he's struggling,

and he's making shots he doesn't normally make. probably should take the the viewpoint that you just said like he comes off 18 he's smiling he's happy but was there any part of you that watched him uh Saturday and Sunday you're like oh this is not this isn't great because clearly he's injured I get what you're saying and and sure I mean it sucks it's.
It's it sucks that he's been through, you know, so many different things like his back was a mess before he had a car accident. So all that's a bummer.
And I think I guess what I'm saying, big cat, is that when he shoots 71 on Thursday, you trick yourself into thinking he's he's not a human. And you think, oh, well, he'll just keep doing this.
And then you see him limp and you're like, oh, I wish that weren't what it is. But, I mean, it's just the reality of – hold on one second, guys.
He's getting his bag. He's getting his bag.
He's getting cards with this guy. He's the hardest working man in show business.
I'll see you at Southern Hills. Thank you.
No, I'm at the airport. I want to walk.
This is a big moment for us because we're going to walk in and see if they have the big text. You said it perfectly, Scott, because that's exactly – you summed up my feelings better than I did in a tweet.
It was not that, like, it was a bummer to watch. It was the fact that Thursday happened, and I part of the group that tricked myself into thinking oh my god like Tiger will be in this thing and then to fast forward to Sunday and see him limping and like you know bogey bogey bogey and I'm like oh this kind of sucks man no doubt but but and I think both things can be true right where it was It was so so much fun to see him bury a pot on 16 and have lundquist yelling and and you're like holy shit this dude he's really is not human and this it doesn't matter that his leg has got broken and almost had to be amputated he's gonna he's gonna be a superhero well he's not he's you know flesh and blood like us and i mean i really have to talk to him about the bald spot i've tried to tell him that he has to shave his head he really something has to happen he's not gonna give that up yeah he's gonna go down swinging on that one i think it's the ultimate i'm tiger woods and you're not move where it's like i don't lebron's got a little of that going on too where he's like I what are you gonna say hey Tiger you're bald no no I did on television I said to him I said I'm your GPS you have to you have to come home and he won't I don't know why he won't because the longer he holds on to this just the worse it's gonna get but he he's explained that because his head he because he gets tan and then his head doesn't get tan, that he would look like a mess if he shaved it.
Yeah. That's when you say I'm Tiger Woods and it doesn't make any difference.
Yeah. Hold on.
Hold on. So we got to see.
We're going to the vending machine right now. We're going to see if they have the big Texans.
Oh, no. This is terrible.
What are we looking at? What are our options? I don't want to show you.

No.

You got to show us.

Oh, that's bad.

That's where the big Texas is supposed to be.

And it's not there?

And they got what?

Gummy bears?

I think you got to go Pop-Tarts?

Well, what about the Mrs. Freshly's?

What do you know about those?

Yeah, I go.

All right.

If I were you right now, I'd go.

I'd hit those Cool Ranch Doritos.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Mrs. Freshly's Jumbo Honey Bun.
I'd hit one of those. And then maybe top yourself off with some peanut M&Ms.
What if we make this flight? What if we really just get nuts and get cheddar jalapeno Cheetos? Then smash Mrs. Freshly's Jumbo Honey Bun.
And then some Pop-Tarts. Now, what if he did this? If I had an edible, we'd 100% get that sorted out.
What if you get the Pop-Tarts, right, and then you put the Cheetos in between like a sandwich, and then you have the Honey Bun to clean you up afterwards? There you go. This is to cleanse the palate.
Yeah, it is a shame that they don't have the big Texan, though.

This is really disappointing.

This is a disappointing moment in private aviation.

There is no Texas.

I was going to ask, because my last question was going to be the Roback question.

Use code TAKE, 20% off your first purchase, R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com.

I was going to ask, are you actually flying private tonight?

Because I thought maybe the wallet's a little tight with all the money you had to pay for Kevin Willard. I mean, we're going to sort that out.
We're going to just pass the hat amongst ourselves. My guy KP, Kevin Plank, started a company, Under Armour.
No big deal. Billionaire.
I'm sure he's good. We'll figure it out.
We'll sort it out. No, we're good.
Friend but we you know friendly with the wisconsin alum kenny dichter and the wheels up air force we're gonna get to me home to let wait your hands in front of your uh the mic oh there you go there you go see that's bad that was bad i was giving props to a wisconsin guy too i'm gonna give a plug the wheels up i want to make sure that it's heard clearly yeah and kenny dichter i i embarrassed myself because i saw you at super bowl week um and i got to the tail end i'm not invited to the wheels up dinner but i i was walked in at the very end and i said to kenny hey we got to figure out a way to get caleb williams and he gave me one of those like get this crazy guy away from me i don't know who you are he was like yeah yeah hit me later and i I was like, I don't have your number. Did you hit him? Did you sort that out?

I was like yeah yeah hit me later and i was like i don't have your number did you hit him did you sort that out i was like we got to get this caleb williams thing figured out we got to get him to wisconsin he's like yeah yeah yeah yeah get in touch with me next week and i walked down i was like i don't have his number well well i can i can put you in touch i i do i do have a serious question that's not serious but i am interested because I've covered golf obviously my whole life so to me coming to augustus is my favorite week of the year and being here is great and it's friends and the whole bit and it's it's it's just something i've always done so i see it through that lens you guys are sports fans sports fans and i just is is this is this a week that you love? Is it like, yeah, it's fun, kind of. Or is it like, yeah, I really like this week.
No, I really do. I really do.
Everything about it, it tells me that it is the official shifting of the season into spring for me. Hearing Jim Nance's voice.
And Jim Nance was on one. I don't know if you get to actually watch the pot or watch the the broadcast while you're working he was on one today he was just ripping off the whole i always say he is asmr for dads where you listen to him and you just fall into the most pleasant slumber that you can possibly be and it's fantastic but pft is right it's this it's augusta for me because i've never been and i love watching it i watch every masters it's like the time and place.
It's whenevera for me because I've never been and I love watching it. I watch every Masters.
It's like the time and place. It's whenever Masters week comes around, it's like, you know, that first 50, 60 degree day pops.
And it's like, all right, we've made it. We made it through winter.
It just everything kind of feels a little different where it just there's something very, very special about it. And the tradition, even when they did in the fall, I was like, this is this isn't the Masters.
Like, it's nice. They're doing it, but it's not the Masters.
Like, it's the spring. It's Jim Nance.
It's just the fact that it's the same place every year and all the history. You just love that same beer bird keeps showing up and making that same sound over and over and over again.
I'll say this on a day like yesterday when it was cold, and even on a day when it's cold and you're bundled up and whatever, it's great. But on a day like today when it's 75 and it's sunny and it's perfect and you're looking around knowing that someone's life legitimately changes because they become a Masters champion.
I mean, in this sport, it's the kingmaker event. And you win this, and then for the rest of your life, Scotty Scheffler, who already seems like he's 40 years old, is going to come here when he's 50 years old.
And he's, you know, the rest of his life, he's a master's champion. And I don't know.
I mean, I'm happy to make fun of stuff as much as the next guy but i mean this is a it's an event that that is it's whatever you think it is if you come here it's better i've never seen anyone leave the golf course and you say hey is this your first time and they say yeah and you go what'd you think and they go right it's all right it's it's an entire thing bucket yeah it's iconic like we say that a lot of stuff is iconic the masters augusta is iconic i would love to go there one day mostly i just want to i want to try everything that they have at the concession stand can you give us like a real quick power ranking of the different concession stand foods they have by the way yeah by the way before you do this my favorite thing is when they show the menu and it's like you can eat all this for $20, it will just cost you $10,000 to get in. Sweet.

Awesome. you do this my favorite thing is when they show the menu and it's like you can eat all this for twenty dollars it will just cost you ten thousand dollars to get in like sweet awesome but see they they could gouge you once you're here and they don't because they just they truly don't need your money yes this is this is a bit of controversy because but i mean hold on let me just say in advance if you're cheese, that's fine.
I'm not. But that's that's like the person that likes a specific flavor of ice cream.
If you like it, great. But if I don't, it's fine.
I'll just pick something different. The sneaky menu item you need to get is the chicken sandwich.
It's just a chicken breast, really well peppered. And it's on a bun.
And that's all you need. But what a lot of the vets do is they take the pimento and cheese and they take and buy a barbecue again because it's cheap.
You take the pimento cheese, smash it on the barbecue.

Then you have this hybrid pimento cheese barbecue mix that people say is great.

But again, I'm not the pimento cheese guy.

Other people like the egg salad.

Again, you can have it.

I'm just going to smash chicken sandwiches and call it a day.

If you want to see the next video salad. Again, you can have it.
I'm just going to smash chicken sandwiches and call it a day. It is actually a testament to Augusta as a place that is so sacred that they can make an egg salad sandwich appealing.
Like people like, oh, look at the egg salad. It's just that it's in the green bag and you're at Augusta.
So when you eat it, you get to tell all your boys that aren't here,

hey, you know what I did?

I just smashed nine egg salad sandwiches. It's light.

It's refreshing.

Our mutual friend, JP Finley, sent me a care package from Augusta last year.

Inside the care package was like three egg salad sandwiches,

two pimento cheese sandwiches.

Now, he didn't really refrigerate it.

There was like one bag of frozen corn that he put in the FedEx box. So by the time I got to the office and opened it up, I don't think it didn't.
There are things out there that keep well. I'm going to say that an egg salad sandwich is on the other side of that corn.
I don't feel like egg salad travels. Did you eat it? I mean, I had to take a bite.
It was a big mistake. I don't.
Yeah. Egg salad travels like as far as somebody handing it to you and then you eating it from the kitchen to like the table.
I don't think, yeah, egg salad travels, like, as far as somebody handing it to you and then you eating it. From the kitchen to, like, the table.
I don't mean, yeah, right. It's just not through the postal service.
No, it's not meant to be. Egg salad does not cross state lines.
You can't put it in a box and send it to somebody, for God's sake. I saw him.
I saw JP today. Yeah.
By the way, last thing, the Sky Scheffler's caddy, which we just talked about, but what a job by him on Saturday with the vest. Have you ever seen a caddy work that hard? He had to keep giving it back to him, the vest.
Scott Scheffler took on and off his vest like 75 times. I likened it to Scott when you're with a toddler and it's like, you know, just back and forth like, oh like oh no i don't want this i want this i want that's what he had to do all day on saturday you're a father too a lot of people people don't know that yeah yeah uh it was i mean listen you're you're there the caddy's job is is the list could be short or it could be really long on saturday was a long thing here's the best i don't understand i guess i mean couldn't you swing it couldn't you swing with the vest I just would have seemed like you could have could have done that it was they didn't yeah they also did it like they screwed him over because they kept on showing it so it then became a thing like we're sick of the vest and then I guess we got to talk to Colin Morikawa because his neck scarf that he was wearing,

he looked like Lenny Kravitz.

I don't know what that look was.

I think it was an Adidas thing

because I feel like Dustin Johnson had the same thing.

I felt like it was like part of the shirt.

It was a whole Lenny Kravitz thing.

That's a great call.

I didn't think of that.

I was thinking it might have been like a mask.

It was.

Like he was pulling it up. Points.
Like Sub-Zero. That thing was huge.
It's like wearing a lampshade. At times it was.
Yeah. At times it was.
Look, it was an interesting week, man. I mean, it starts with Tiger, who was awesome.
Then the wind blows 50. Then the next day, people have got on Dune masks.
And then, unfortunately, Sunday, we just didn't have, you know, we didn't have the back and and forth drama and whatever other than like rory and morikawa holing out on 18 that was nuts i don't know what rory did with his hands he made the you see that when he made it it was fantastic yeah it was like what do i what do i do with my hands it looked like a 50 year old woman getting like warmed up for a power walk he went like the side spin on it yeah what are you? I guess if you shoot 64, you can do whatever the hell you want. You were lucky enough to see that.
We got it ruined for us, so we got that spoiled for us, but that's okay. Nothing got ruined until I got here, and there's no big Texas.
Yeah, that's tough. I have one last food-related question.
You don't get invited. Nobody outside people that actually have won the masters get invited to the champions dinner right no but as far as the spread goes that looked like one of the all-timers i mean again we can there's there's jokes and all but i mean the way it's been described to me is that that's that that's the coolest night of the year i mean it's a bunch of dudes that you know you get to remember who you were when you were a younger man and you get to sit around and listen to stories.
And and it's, you know, Sheffler gets to set the menu. Morikawa's menu was was well received.
And apparently he gave a speech that Bubba Watson said was just brought people to tears, which I don't know. I mean, again, people can roll their eyes about golf and traditions and that's fine.
I'm not trying to sell you on them if you're not into it. But the idea of being in a room with the people that you know span generations and only the people that have done it get to be in there that is that's an all-time i mean yeah an all-timer and it's it's i mean i think that's why this this event's a kingmaker and it's you know it's the one you come back to the rest of your life i i you you are wrong though i i did see dude perfect was there for that.
Say that again? Dude Perfect was there for the Masters dinner this year. So they do invite some people.
Hey, then they got the invite that I've been here for a while. I haven't gotten.
I didn't get on the list. I got to tighten up my drone game.
They're actually renaming the 18th. It's not going to be Holly.
It's going to be Pound at Noggin is the name name of the whole name. I would love if Augusta just leaned into it and just started trolling the fuck out of everyone with Dude Perfect.
All those guys get exemptions for life to play foot golf on the Masters week. They actually get into the tournament.
There's one group, the Dude Perfect group, just to break it up a little bit. Listen, I got say other than it's they can invite whoever they want as long as they keep inviting my dumb ass then i'm fine with whoever else gets to come well scott thank you as always this is one of our favorite uh times we get to talk to someone who's actually there and uh safe flight and sorry about the big texas that's a heartbreaker yeah it's it i'm gonna try to shake that off and uh and soldier forth but you guys know i love you i appreciate the time always you guys keep doing your thing and killing it right all right thanks scott bye scott thank you scott van pelt was brought to you by our great friends over at manscaped manscaped is the leader in below the waist grooming support us head over to mansped.com, and you can use the exclusive code PMT at checkout.
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All right, we're going to wrap up. We're going to talk some NBA playoffs because we're finally here.
We should say, by the way, Joel Embiid wins a scoring title, first center to do it since 2000, which is remarkable. Like the fact that I was looking at it, Kirk Goldsberry put something up.
It was since, so there was 94 was david robinson 95 was shack 2000 was shack that's the list of centers that have won the scoring title in like the last 40 years that's how good of a season joel and beat has had there's been some heated debate about uh he joe yokich janice for mvp i don't mvp like talk, I feel like. I'm just going to vote for Embiid with my vote.
Yeah, my vote goes Embiid. I'm going to go with Devin Booker.
And I'm going to put it for Embiid and say that if the Sixers don't win the title this year, it's a disappointment. Yes.
All for not. All for not.
Well, it's James Harden's fault. So, yeah, yes, there is the perfect scapegoat besides Doc Rivers.
So, Hank, I know that you've been getting into it already with a certain element of Sixers Twitter, as you like to do. Any death threats? Any personal messages? No, I mean, there was a lot of people.
I had a tweet. It was during the Celtics' win streak when they were still like four or five games back in the division where I was like, feed me Philly.
I got a lot of people, even our own Adam Ferone, that was like, be careful what you wish for, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then in the past month or so, the Celtics obviously won the division today.
They got the number two seed. They didn't tank.
They didn't quit. They didn't rest their starters.
They played it out. And then there's a lot of Philly fans that in the last month, like I've seen them, follow them all, I see what they're doing, I'm watching the games, and they're all like,

this team sucks, Harden sucks.

They've fallen off James Harden.

That high that they were riding when they got James Harden,

where they were all like, this is it, we've got the missing piece,

championship or bust, they're already off that high,

and they're just worried about beating the Raptors.

I think I might have been right about that trade when it happened,

when I said I think both teams might lose this trade. Well, Simmons might.
There was a report today that he might come back for the playoffs. Yeah.
The world needs Nets, Sixers, and the playoffs. It's going to be so weird having Simmons come back for the first time in the playoffs.
Like, surely this player won't throw off all the chemistry that we have. Right, but he also, like, it's not like he is going to, like, you're not saying if Ben Simmons comes back for the playoffs, oh, he might have trouble, like, shooting because he hasn't shot in a while.
Right. If he doesn't shoot, that's probably good.
His best skill set can probably show up and play. He can probably show up and play defense.
I just, I was thinking about it. Joel Embiid, like, incredible season.
All those stats I just said, the fact that he's the first center in 20 years. He's also the first center since Moses Malone in 1982 to average more than 30 points a game.
It's crazy. Even if you want to say like, oh, the 90s was slower paced and not as many points.
Who cares? Look at the 80s and 70s when they scored nonstop.

Joel Embiid, though, is setting himself up perfectly

to be the most sympathetic figure in all sports.

When you think about Ben Simmons kind of ruined his chances

and now James Harden, who you want to talk about a pile on.

Everyone loves to pile on James Harden.

It's one of the funnest things to do every spring. It's a tradition unlike any other.
We go from the Masters to joking about James Harden being hung over in a playoff game. James Harden will fuck this up for Embiid, and everyone's going to be like, Embiid is so good.
He deserves a ring. I've already seen that he deserves a ring.
I don't know. It's going to be like trying to figure out who to blame between Harden and Doc Rivers because people love to pile on Doc Rivers, too.
Yeah, well, he does that to himself. He already bashed James Harden, which was awesome.
Did you see that the other day? He was like – some reporter asked about the backups, and he's like, well, James didn't do anything. Like, he just said it.
He said it after a game. It'sames harden stinks but we are set with the playoffs i want to i i'm a little the bucks basically the play-in game too is also like i think we should probably just tell people what the play-in game is because up until today when i was going through scenarios i kind of forgot about how serious the play-in tournament it's a play-in tournament yes uh it's a lot it's not just a play-in game.
It's a tournament. So Tuesday night is Cavs-Nets.
Well, Monday night too. No, not Monday night.
Western Conference. Nope.
It's Wednesday. I thought we said it was Monday Tuesday.
I know. I just saw it.
It's Wednesday. What the fuck? I know.
I know. It's crazy.
It was listed on my phone as being Monday night. It's Wednesday.
I just saw the thing behind you. I wouldn't have known it.
So it's Wednesday, Thursday, Friday? It's Tuesday. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday? Yeah, so Tuesday is the Cavs and Nets.
It's not by conference. Tuesday is Cavs, Nets.
Tuesday night, later at 9.30 is Clippers, T-Wolves. Wednesday is Hornets, Hawks, Spurs, Pelicans.
They did change it. And then I assume Thursday they just play everything I don't know Friday it's a doubleheader Friday Friday okay so there you go and then the playoffs start on Saturday and the winner of uh Nets Cavs is the seven seed so even though technically you know the Cavs are the eight the Nets are the seven if the Cavs beat the Nets they're the seven and then the Nets have to play the winner of the Hornets-Hawks just to make the 8.
And I told you, Hank. I think the Cavs can beat the Nets.
I'm just going to say it right now. Hank has two things going on.
Cavs have been his team all year because he bet on them. And two, he doesn't want the Celtics to play the Nets in the first round.
Cavs fight. It was funny because I came in and Hank was sitting in darkness, full darkness, by himself in the office.
He was in the lab. He was in the lab breaking down playoff scenarios and it was funny because we both came at it from different angles.
He's coming at it from a team, the Celtics, that could possibly win the title and I have been crunching the playoff scenarios to figure out like, what's the least amount of embarrassment the bulls can take. Um, and we now have actually gotten the most amount of embarrassment with, with the bucks.
Cause that's going to be an absolute shit show. The bucks will probably sweep.
I was like, I was weighing all weekend. I was like, would I rather get swept by the box and have Packers fans up my ass, ass which I'm used to or would I like to play the Celtics maybe win one game coach K's revenge but know that coach K's revenge and also Dave tweets me out of the clouds out of nowhere for like two weeks or have the Sixers and have like Smitty laughing in my face no good scenarios for me I think I'd have I'd have your back with that though yeah but it was the Bucs like at least all I could say about the Bucs the Bucs are gonna sweep the Bulls and at least I know how to deal with Packers fans like just dunking on me my entire life I know how to deal the worst case scenario for you would be if you played against the Celtics because you would get Hank and Hank wouldn't like talk a lot of overt shit you would just but he would sit there smiling yeah with that little smirk on his face, and then you know what happened? You would get buh-buh-buh-buh-bud.
You'd be like, oh no, I was just trying to watch the game, and like, I'm sorry my team can't win, and Big Cats would be like, buh-buh-buh-buh. But I'm also like, I'm a dead man walking.
I've watched many, many Bulls games this year, and they are not a good team right now. If you go from January on, they're a bad team.
So the Bucs are going to kill them. It's going to – I just want it to be over as fast as possible.
I'm hoping DeMar DeRozan scores 61 game and we can get, like, one nice moment maybe in Chicago. Hank, how are you feeling, though? Like, I think karma's on your side.
For the Celtics to not rest starters and the Bucs to basically say we'd rather play the Bulls, which I understand, karma's on your side. Like, the teams that don't tank have karma.
I think the Celtics have been one of the best teams the second half of the year. I think they were like 23-24 and they finished something crazy like 23-7 or something.
That's probably not exactly right, but they've been very, very hot. Obviously, without Robert Williams in the first round, it's tough going against the Nets, not at full strength.
I still think we can win. I would much rather play, though, the Cavs.
I'm just going to be honest. I'd rather play the Cavs.
Even though the Cavs are scrappy, they are a better team. They're a better matchup for us.
I still think we can beat the Nets, and then if we beat the nets we have a better uh you know path to the finals i think i don't know it's gonna be it's gonna be i don't know it's gonna be it's gonna be interesting the the nets and the bucks are legitimate matchups that i could see going either way i'll say that what i'm looking forward to is the play-in game out west clippers t wolves yeah because yeah because according to paul george this is not a paul george versus pat beverly match oh it's going to be a paul george versus pat beverly match pat beverly by the way is not on board with you saying that it's not about paul george is this pat bev is this this isn't this is a playing game so is there playing game p because it's not playoff it's play and p yeah it's not play-off, P. It's play-in P.
Yeah, this is not the play-off. Shout out R.
Kelly. Yeah, you're not.
It's not the playoffs yet. You're not officially in the playoffs until you actually play a series.
That would actually be the funniest thing to happen to Paul. We've seen it all happen to Paul George, and we've loved laughing when it does.
for him to lose in a play-in game that would that would be the ultimate yes yes um I I am and we're gonna have Varsila on later this week to break it all down but I do think that it's just gonna be the Suns and Bucks again and I know that Hank you poo-pooed that but it I just think Giannis is he's so fucking good and. And I know this is based off, like, facts that everyone knows, but sometimes it's that easy.
Sometimes you, like, we spend all year watching these NBA teams trying to talk ourselves into something new and different, and it's like, oh, yeah, Giannis is just a fucking monster. I think I'm just, I'm doing what I've learned over and over again watching sports that

you should not do which is to be like

the Nets look at all the talent they've got

right the Nets are a dream team. I'm

kind of talking myself into that like there's

they're too good to lose before the finals.

Yeah, so I'm going sons and

sons and bucks

rematch. I think it's plus 600

if you want to pick if you want to parlay them or

like set that up for them to

meet in the finals. That's

my pick. I'm

I don't know. Maybe Russell will tell me I'm the dumbest person ever and that the Nets...
We got to get Kirk Goldsberry back on. Shit.
Yeah, to do his Nets. He literally ruined the Nets.
Celtics-Warriors. That's spicy.
I like that. You know what? I'm going to double dip.
I'm going to go Nets-Warriors. Oh.
These two teams. KD.
Best on paper. What do you mean double dip? Meaning like the Warriors are kind of, I'm treating them the same way I'm treating the Nets, which is they're too good.
They've got so much talent. They're going to figure it out.
Names. You're betting on names.
You know what? I'm doing a guy off. Yeah, you're doing a, hey, I know a bunch of names on these teams.
That must be the best team. Also, don't be shocked if the Nuggets, don't be shocked.
That's me tossing a name out there. Yes, I would be shocked.
And just saying, don't be shocked so I don't actually have to put any weight behind. They have crazy injuries.
Don't be shocked. Don't be shocked.
Yeah, you basically did a free roll for a take where it's like, I didn't say that. I just said, don't be shocked.
You'll take 100% credit if the Nuggets get there, and you'll take 0% of the blame if they don't. Don't be surprised.
Yeah, right. Okay.
I like that. I'll say don't be surprised at the Grizzlies.
We all get a don't be surprised team. Okay.
Hank, who's your don't beprised team? The Cavs. Okay.
Okay.

That was funny.

Don't be surprised.

They are fighting. They're going to beat the Nets.

Jared Allen and Mobley, are they playing?

Don't be surprised.

Did you see Kevin Love's stat line tonight?

It was incredible.

He played 14 minutes.

He had 32 points.

14 minutes.

He went 8 for 11 from 3.

That's crazy.

Don't let your boy get hot.

They were playing against the Bucs backups, but who the fuck cares? And i had a lot of bucks fans they're not the smartest people they they were just i tweeted like oh wow bucks are limping into the playoffs i knew they weren't playing anyone shout out to drew holiday for getting 307 000 for playing eight seconds today that's i love things. Those are the best.
Okay.

That's the show.

Anything else?

Anything else we missed?

Billy, you got anything we missed?

Also, I have a big future on the Pelicans to be in the playoffs after the play-in games are over.

Oh.

How awesome would it be if Zion just somersaulted out there

for the play-in game?

That would be awesome. That would be cool.
I'm off the Pelicans because when we were in New Orleans, I bet on them. That's on you.
Yeah, I bet on the. Get off yourself.
I know. I should get off myself.
I bet on the Lakers. The last game LeBron played until he fucking withdrew from the entire season and left all of Laker Nation behind.
I bet on the Lakers on Friday night and they beat and they they lost the pelicans and then i forgot the pelicans were in la for the entire weekend so they were super hung over partied all weekend and got and lost by like 30 to the clippers on sunday night gotta be gotta be careful of those billy what you got uh scotty scheffler is not actually related to tony schefzer yep nothing gets by bill Billy. I disagree.
I disagree. Where'd you get that information? When I said it, if you're watching the YouTube, when I said it, I don't know if we have Billy's reaction, but he like perked up in his seat like, holy fuck.
No, I Googled it after sex. I did not know.
Yeah, I know you did. Billy, sometimes it's actually endearing that Billy doesn't know that sometimes we say things on this show that are intentionally completely incorrect.

Just to get that exact reaction.

Did you look up where Manchester was located when I said it was in South London?

When I said it was in London?

It was a joke. Hank was pulling your legs the entire time.

I'm just saying you asked if I had anything.

I was like, well, I did actually Google that.

No, you're right.

I did ask.

I did do a quick Google. Yeah, we'll have more.
I'm excited for the NBA playoffs. I'm just saying you asked if I had anything.
I was like, well, I did actually Google that. No, you're right.
I did ask. I did do a quick Google.
You did provide. Yeah, we'll have more.
I'm excited for the NBA playoffs. I'm pumped.
I'm very, very excited. Don't be surprised.
Except minus the Bulls. That's going to be really, really sad.
I might just be hacked for the entire first round. You know how memes sometimes does a fake Adam Schefter account? That would be a good rebrand to Adam Scheffler.
Just like a jacked up meathead version. Yeah.
They, if the Bulls won two games, I would be happy, but they're also in a bad spot just overall. It's just everything fell apart.
If they won two games, I'd be, that'd be kind of, that would be, hey, we acquitted ourselves well. We weren't, they're not going to to win again.
I'm not rooting for this to see Hank's personal demise,

but I do think it would be good for the show if it ended up being a Sixers Celtics series.

I want it.

Whereas Hank, there we go.

Okay, Hank, I like it so bad.

I also am just going to say this right now.

If the Nets play the Celtics and the Nets somehow beat the Celtics,

I think Frank the Tank should be allowed on this show for 10 minutes

to laugh at you. Agreed.

Fine. Just giggle.

He's not allowed to say anything. Just giggle.

I mean, it will be

torture. It will be torture.

Alright, numbers.

22.

6.

19.

6.

25. 86 is out.
Jake knew 18. You guys told me to win it with a different team.
91. Oh, reciprocal.
Booth Bay and Wiscasset, Maine are considered the worming capital of the world. Love you guys.
Thank you. Take me away.
I don't know what I'm to say. I'll say it anyway.

Today's my day to find you.

Shining away.

I'll be coming for your lover king.

I'll be coming for your lover king. Take me away.

Take me on I'll be gone After all change Change, change, change, change, change Me, what's the same? I'm all decided But I'll be stolen away Slowly learning that life is okay Say after me It's no better to be safe than sorry It's no better to be safe than sorry Take on me Take me Take on me Take me on I'll be gone With a day I'm changed To the part of the things that stay It isn't liable Just to blame the world, breathe away You're all the things I've got to remember. Leave you shying away, I'll be coming for you anyway.
Leave you shying away, I'll be coming for you anyway. Take on me, take me on.
I'll be gone.

You did.

I'll be gone.

You did.