DPOY TJ Watt, Super Bowl Clean Up & Guys On Chicks

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Speaker 1 On today's part in my take,

Speaker 1 excuse me, TJ Watt, Defensive Player of the Year. We're going to recap some more of the Super Bowl.
Now that we've had a day to sleep, we're going to do hot seat cool throne.

Speaker 1 We have our good friend Jersey Jerry, who's going to join us from some Guys on Chicks and also talk to us about TJ Watt. A great show, a great follow-up for the season finale of football.

Speaker 1 And then we're going on vacation. We'll have shows, but we're going to go on a little vacation.
We're brought to you by our friends at Cross Country Mortgage. Go

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Speaker 1 Let's go!

Speaker 1 No place to hang out or washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can't pay all on the sun. Oh, no, we're gonna rise down to Electric Avenue.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Eli, Trake Avenue.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 4 It's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take, presented by Cross Country Mortgage. Go right now, crosscountrymortgage.com/slash barstool.
Today is Wednesday, February 16th. Life after football has begun.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and to be honest with you, this is

Speaker 1 these are the bleakest days of the year, in my opinion.

Speaker 1 You know what really twisted the knife? And I don't care about baseball until baseball actually starts. Then I don't care about baseball until after the all-star break.

Speaker 1 But today was the day that pitchers and catchers were supposed to report.

Speaker 1 And today was the day that Tony Kornheiser was supposed to say, the beautiful cycle of sports continues as pitchers and catchers report. Hope springs eternal.

Speaker 1 But unfortunately for a big seam head like myself, they're still at the negotiating table. We're still sitting in the trucks.
We've still got the truckers just sitting there causing traffic.

Speaker 1 Rob Manford's just got

Speaker 1 a bunch of semis

Speaker 1 outside every stadium just parked, holding up traffic.

Speaker 1 I actually,

Speaker 1 I obviously get a little sad when football ends, but a part of me is like, okay, now kind of readjust your life because it is a lot of football.

Speaker 1 And I love college basketball, so the come down isn't as harsh for me.

Speaker 1 But there is always that feeling like the Monday after the Super Bowl where you sit there and you debate the game and you talk about it and legacies and all this stuff and you're like, ah, this is kind of the last time we're going to do this for a few months.

Speaker 1 I'm just like, why?

Speaker 1 Why am I getting up in the morning when there's no football on TV anymore? But you know what? We'll get through it together. Yep.
We'll find some ways to replace it.

Speaker 1 And actually, for me, the next two weeks are going to be filled with sports because these are the two weeks where I do a crash course in college basketball. Okay.

Speaker 1 And I get really into college basketball again. I just, I found you have to know yourself sometimes.

Speaker 1 And I know that I can't pay attention to football the way that I pay attention to it and college basketball at the same time. I know you are able to do it.
I personally do not have the ability

Speaker 1 to process all that during the fall, during like November, December. No, I don't care about college basketball unless it's like number one versus number two in a primetime game.

Speaker 1 I can refresh you real quick. Give me anything.
No, no, I want to, I'm going to do this on my own. I'm going to craft.
I do this every year. I get back into it.
I've got my websites that I read.

Speaker 1 Gonzaga's good again. I know Gonzaga, but I called him frauds yesterday.

Speaker 1 Just out of habit because they don't play in a real conference. Well, I'll give you one tip about Gonzaga, and it will help you because it's going to be shocking

Speaker 1 when you watch them. They are very good again.
They can definitely win the title. Chet Holmgren, the number one recruit, is like the skinniest dude ever.
And people get really mad because

Speaker 1 if you watch him for the first time, your reaction is going to be, I actually would like you to see you do this. It's like,

Speaker 1 this guy's going to be soft when he plays against real men.

Speaker 1 Then people are like, but his skills are so incredible. No, but he's soft.
Yeah. He looks like he's going to be soft when he grinds up against a real guy.

Speaker 1 It's impossible to watch him once and not be like, oh, he's going to get eaten alive. But he is really fucking good.
Okay, yeah.

Speaker 1 I actually kind of feel that way about Paolo Banquero. Yeah.
Like he might be too soft to go up against a man. Yeah.
Well, we'll get into all college basketball.

Speaker 1 Let's do some Super Bowl cleanups. So I went to sleep at 9 o'clock last night.
Felt great. I was so tired.

Speaker 1 How tired I was,

Speaker 1 it's something I've never done before. I bet I had Cleveland State minus two against

Speaker 1 Indiana, Purdue, Fort Wayne, right?

Speaker 1 I'm up three with five seconds left. IPFW, whatever the fuck, hits a three to go to overtime.
And I was just like, I can't do it.

Speaker 1 This is an 855. You tapped out for overtime.
Tapped out for overtime. I was like, I'll find out what I lost.
I was like, I'll just figure it out in the morning. Just sap.

Speaker 1 I literally tapped out for overtime for a five-minute college basketball overtime. Yeah.
That's how time-to-blame me. I was kind of feeling the same way yesterday.

Speaker 1 I went to go see House of Gucci in theaters. Highly recommend.
Lady Gaga, excellent performance. Got snubbed at the Oscars.
I fell asleep like seven times during the movie.

Speaker 1 And as I was asleep, I was combining the storyline that I was hearing from House of Gucci with football stats from the Super Bowl. And I was waking up very confused.

Speaker 1 It was a combination of like football,

Speaker 1 the plays that I remember from the Super Bowl running on repeat in my head, and also

Speaker 1 blackjack hands that I had been dealt over the weekend at the casino.

Speaker 1 And I was combining that into the dialogue from House of Gucci and so I woke up and had no idea like seven times during the movie completely lost I probably need to see it again.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but it was it was the end of a long 12-day run where my brain had just become mush and it's good to to get out and do something to like cleanse it out a little bit Which is why I went to go see a movie just get media Like injected directly into my brain something a little different try to do a flush that has nothing to do with sports, but it didn't work.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, by the way, I just looked it up.
The game actually went to three overtimes. Okay.

Speaker 1 So then I was

Speaker 1 looking up the final. All right, let's do some Super Bowl cleanup, though.
Now that we've had a day, where do you want to start? I have a couple of what-ifs. Okay.
I have a couple.

Speaker 1 Everyone just stopped talking about this.

Speaker 1 Maybe a couple of legacies.

Speaker 1 Well, one thing that I've learned from this Super Bowl, and especially the aftermath, is it's a perfect example of how misinformation is passed along, washed, re-washed, until it just becomes accepted as truth.

Speaker 1 Yes. In society.

Speaker 1 The biggest case of this that I'm seeing everywhere is Aaron Donald was lined up offsides on that last play of the game, the fourth and one, where he made that stop and the refs fucking blew it and the NFL is rigged.

Speaker 1 That was the first fourth and one of the game in the first quarter. Yes.

Speaker 1 As everybody should know,

Speaker 1 that was a completely different offsides thing. He was offsides.
They're facing different ways.

Speaker 1 But now I've accepted it as truth because I've seen it passed along so many times online. So

Speaker 1 Aaron Donald was offsides on the last play of the game, that fourth and one, and there should be a full investigation into Roderick Dill, who should be arrested. And Jamar Chase was open.

Speaker 1 That's the other one.

Speaker 1 The one that drives me insane because, yes, he was open by the definition of like, oh, he was eventually open, but there was never a point in time where Joe Burrow was standing there and Jamar Chase was open.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like

Speaker 1 Jamar Chase got open. well after Aaron Donald had already started ripping Joe Burrow down.
So it's like, it's not like a situation where you're like, well, how did Joe Burrow miss him?

Speaker 1 Or even people saying, well, if he had an extra second, well, yeah, if he had an extra second for every play, the Bengals probably would have won. Yeah, that's why this happened.

Speaker 1 A full extra second is a long fucking time. Against Aaron Donald.
Against Aaron Donald Don Miller. Yes.
It was exceptional. It was very funny to see people be like, yeah, he was wide open.

Speaker 1 That happens all the time. I feel like Jimmy Garoppolo is a quarterback that happens the most to.

Speaker 1 They'll take a screenshot of a play and they'll be like, look, this guy was wide open as Jimmy's getting sacked.

Speaker 1 He eventually was open, yes. But if you freeze it right when Aaron Donald starts like ripping Joe Burrow to the ground, he wasn't open.
It just wasn't that way.

Speaker 1 So I don't know if that's people torturing themselves. Like, don't do that to yourselves, Bengals fans.
I actually, I agree with Bengals fans.

Speaker 1 The past interference call or holding call at the end was bad. It was.

Speaker 1 Like, it absolutely was.

Speaker 1 Orange gloves made orange for what Julian Edelman told us. Like, yep.
Orange gloves, Bill Belichick used to tell him all the time, wear white gloves so they can't call you for holding. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And like, so I understand the coping mechanisms that are used here that you have to go through the whole thing. I also think if you want to do a what if,

Speaker 1 what if Odell Beckham doesn't get hurt? Do the Rams win by 10?

Speaker 1 Like, they were, looking back at that game, they had three drives, or it might have been four drives, two punts, two touchdowns, but the two touchdowns were very easy.

Speaker 1 Once Odell Beckham goes out, they don't, they don't do anything until that last drive. Like, they don't do anything real until that last drive of the game.
Yeah. We also had the goat,

Speaker 1 If Patrick Mahomes makes this throw, the media goes nuts moment. Which was awesome because everyone was going nuts.
Everyone.

Speaker 1 That's how they were going nuts about it. But Matt Stafford had a sick lookaway pass.
So

Speaker 1 now I'm going to flip it next year. And when Patrick Mahomes does something, I'm going to be like, when Matt Stafford makes a throw like this, everybody goes nuts.
When Pat Mahomes does it, crickets.

Speaker 1 Yeah. We're going to flip that narrative on its head.
But that was a very nice throw. It was a sixth throw.
The lookaway pass

Speaker 1 completed it. That was the cup, right? Running over the ball.
Yeah, that was the Cooper Cup. That's why the Cooper Cup,

Speaker 1 I know there was some debate about the MVP. You could give it to Aaron Donald.
That Aaron Donald play on third down is so insane to watch.

Speaker 1 The fact that he was fully blocked and got around the offensive lineman and then grabbed P. Ryan by the hips and just sat him down.
He's a big dude. It's an insane play to watch over and over.

Speaker 1 And then obviously the fourth down, he gives Joe Burrow no chance to do anything. I still don't.

Speaker 1 I want to see like a full all-22 angle of where the ball landed because I think Piran's probably getting dogged a little bit when it, I feel like the ball died faster than we realized.

Speaker 1 No, it landed a few yards away from him as he was running downfield. Right.
So you can't stop, turn around, well, and jump. We can change.

Speaker 1 I could, if me personally, I could do it. It is awesome.
But he's a running catch. How did he not die for that?

Speaker 1 It's like, well, all his body momentum is going one way, and the ball is dying going the other.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 I would have at least made an attempt at that catch. Listen, me, I would have put my body on the line.

Speaker 1 That's the most important catch season's on the line season's on the line your championship's on the line p.

Speaker 1 Ryan you know obviously he's thinking about his next contract probably not willing to dive for a pass like that like I would have been as a real fan but no there was no there was no chance he was going to get to that yeah and that and so what I was saying is that Aaron Donald those last two plays were insane but Cooper Cup the reason why I mean

Speaker 1 the fact that Odell Beckham goes out the whole defense knows it's going to be Cooper Cup There's nothing you can do about it.

Speaker 1 Credit to the Rams for finally being like, hey, let's stop running the ball for nothing. Let's stop trying to do like different plays.
Let's just say,

Speaker 1 no matter what, it's Cooper Cup. And like, you even saw it with the fourth and one

Speaker 1 run play that Cooper Cup had the ball. They're like, this is our best player.
He needs to have the ball. And everyone in the world knew it was going to him, and it still went to him.

Speaker 1 And he still made catches.

Speaker 1 The stat that was crazy to me, in the playoffs, Cooper Cup had, in the fourth quarter of the playoffs, 12 targets, 12 receptions, 208 yards, nine first downs, two touchdowns.

Speaker 1 That's the definition of clutch, the definition of like, if you watched all these playoffs, you knew whenever the Rams needed a big play, whenever they needed a first down, it was Cooper Cup, and it was automatic.

Speaker 1 It was literally automatic. It was 12 targets for 12 receptions.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he was definitely deserving of the MVP.

Speaker 1 I do understand the case for Aaron Donald. Me too.

Speaker 1 Well, I had a future on both of them. And this is also just in like a stupid, antiquated,

Speaker 1 anything that has to do with journalists, it's always antiquated, like in leagues. The MVP voting has to be submitted by the two-minute warning.
Right, that's how

Speaker 1 it is so dumb because not only in a case like this, where it is, you could be like, Aaron Donald deserved that MVP over his teammate Cooper Cup, but what if the Bengals had won?

Speaker 1 Do they still give the MVP to Cooper Cup? Well, I think you vote for both. I think they vote for both in case.
But like what happened in the Falcons Patriots game when it went to overtime?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think they were just like, you know what, we're going to give it to Tom Brady. It's nothing.

Speaker 1 Was that Julian's? No, that was Julian Ellis. That was Julian's.
Nothing of consequence has ever happened past the two-minute warning in football. It's so stupid.

Speaker 1 There's this thing called phone. In the age of technology.
And how many votes are there? Probably like only 50? Yeah, there's probably like, yeah. You could just go around and get a head count.

Speaker 1 You could just be like, yeah, hey, everyone who likes Aaron Donald, put your hand up. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 In the press box. But yeah, that was so stupid.

Speaker 1 They probably have a more advanced system for ordering Diet Cokes with a push of a button than they do for voting for Super Bowl MVP. Without a doubt.
Without a doubt.

Speaker 1 Cooper Cup does, I think, submit the best single season that the receivers ever had. I know that he had

Speaker 1 extra game in the regular season, but there's only been three triple crowns in the modern era before him. It was Jerry Rice, Sterling Sharp, and Steve Smith.

Speaker 1 He adds the Super Bowl and the fact that he was so clutch. 33 receptions, 478 yards, six touchdowns in the playoffs.
Insane. Absolutely insane.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 1 the other thing, the other notes I had: so Joe Burrow at the party and Joe Burrow with the suit. I have no problem with Joe Burrow at the party.
I don't understand what you would do there.

Speaker 1 I think most people didn't, but he was singing along to Kid Cuddy. He was on the stage.
Like, I mean, knowing the Bengals too, their organization, like, they...

Speaker 1 They probably paid a lot of money for something that they didn't want to pay a lot of money for. You got to get everyone to the party.
Yeah, I think

Speaker 1 the owner was like, you're all going. Yeah.
You all have to come. You all have to go.
I'm not wasting my money on Mr. Cuddy.
And guess what? You're all eating steak and chicken. Yep.
Two meals.

Speaker 1 Take some home. I do think, in fairness, I was thinking about it.
I do have the take that Cam Newton has to bring two different pairs of clothes to a game.

Speaker 1 I think Joe Burrow should have brought a losing pair of clothes to the game. Yeah.
Because it did look, it was sad when he was walking out with a limp losing the Super Bowl in a zebra suit.

Speaker 1 The silver tiger stripe. It's more for him than anyone.
Like, dude, do you want to be in that right now? No chance. With like a bruised knee to slip on suit pants.
I agree with that.

Speaker 1 I think that every quarterback should have a winning suit and a losing suit. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And it's equally, to me, as a fan of respecting the media, it's equally as disrespectful when a quarterback who just won isn't dressed up like Cruelle Deville with like a giant hat with a feather pointing out of it.

Speaker 1 I want my quarterbacks to be like easily identifiable. Like that's the guy that won.
That's the guy that lost. I don't want a winning quarterback to be wearing like a tattered t-shirt and sweatpants.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, tough look for Joe, but that's fine. Joe will be back, hopefully.

Speaker 1 I do find it kind of interesting how everybody's like, the Bengals are going to be back here for sure. Like, just say that out loud to yourself.
The Bengals are going to be back here for sure.

Speaker 1 I hope they are. I love Joe Burrow,

Speaker 1 but

Speaker 1 given

Speaker 1 who's in the AFC right now,

Speaker 1 if we said bet, you have to bet next decade the Bengals go to X amount of Super Bowls.

Speaker 1 What would you bet be? I wouldn't even feel comfortable saying that. I'd say one more.
One, but over one and a half, you'd take the underall. Yeah, for sure, for sure.
All day.

Speaker 1 It's not disrespectful to the Bengals. No.
It's no disrespect to you guys because the Chiefs are that good. The Bills are looking that good.

Speaker 1 Herbert. Herbert looks great.
Lamar Jackson got forgotten about because he got injured, and the Ravens got forgotten about because they all got injured.

Speaker 1 The Ravens are the most consistent, one of the most consistent franchises in the NFL.

Speaker 1 Like, there is a lot of guys that are going to be really, I mean, Carson Wentz.

Speaker 1 Yeah, great. Great.
Mike McDaniel looks like he's going to be a great coach with Tua. Tua.
No, but it's just very hard to get to these. And just ask Dam Reno, who went to one, what, his second year?

Speaker 1 Yeah. And then never went back.
Like,

Speaker 1 it's crazy to think about how difficult it is for a franchise to get to the Super Bowl. And then to be like, yeah, we'll be back for sure.
They got a lot of things they got to work on.

Speaker 1 Now, the good news is

Speaker 1 the Chiefs went to the Super Bowl last year, got absolutely destroyed by the Bucs, and their offensive line failed them. They rebuilt it in a year.
I don't know if you could do that.

Speaker 1 Like, they hit on some things that you have to, like, get a little bit lucky on.

Speaker 1 But to say the Bengals can't just figure out a way to rebuild or drastically get better on offensive line in one offseason, they absolutely can. If they make a couple moves, they can.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's just the competition is pretty tough. We need to do one final, last ranking of AFC North quarterbacks.
Okay. As is tradition on this show.
I'm going to say number one goes to Joe Burrow.

Speaker 1 I'd agree. Number two,

Speaker 1 I'm going to give... Jameis Winston and a Steelers.
No, no, we don't say that yet. Okay.
Because I'm hoping for him as a commander. Okay.
Number two, I'm going to go with Ben Rollisburger

Speaker 1 for everything that he's done all season. Number three,

Speaker 1 Case Keenum against the Broncos. Yes.
Number four,

Speaker 1 Baker Mayfield when he's healthy.

Speaker 1 Number five, Lamar. Number six.
Without diarrhea. Yeah, number six, Huntley.
Number six, Hundley. Number seven, Lamar with diarrhea.

Speaker 1 Number eight, eight, Brandon Allen for that one play that I thought he was going to have to come in when I thought Joe Burrows' ACL was torn. He fucking sucks at calling coin flips.

Speaker 1 And I looked over to you, PFT. I was like, yo, who's the backup? You're like, Brandon Allen.
We both were like, oh. Oh, wait.

Speaker 1 Number 1A,

Speaker 1 Joe Mixon. Yeah.
That was a sick pass. That was a sick pass.
That was a sick pass. That was another thing.
And I do feel bad for Bengals fans. They should cope any way they want.
And I know that

Speaker 1 a bad call at the end of the game feels more important.

Speaker 1 The missed call on the on the T. Higgins touchdown was very important when you think about how the Bengals weren't really moving the ball.

Speaker 1 Like, they used a trick play to score a touchdown, and they had that.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I don't walk away, again, from this game being like someone got robbed. I wouldn't say they weren't moving the ball.
They were moving the ball a little bit. A little bit.

Speaker 1 They put together a couple decent drives, but anytime that you have like a 50-yard bomber, how long is that touchdown? 775-yard touchdown pass on clearly an offensive pass interference?

Speaker 1 Like that makes a big difference. Yeah, they were moving.

Speaker 1 They had a couple nice drives. I'm just saying, it wasn't like it,

Speaker 1 that play gets minimized, I think, if it's a track meet and everyone's scoring on every play. And it's like, oh, that probably would have happened anyway.

Speaker 1 Right, I'm sure like three of those catches happened in that in the Ohio State, Utah game. Right, exactly.
This one,

Speaker 1 every yard was hard to get, especially in the second half for the Bengals. So, I mean,

Speaker 1 their two drives,

Speaker 1 they had a field goal drive, eight plays.

Speaker 1 Yeah, think about it. Their entire second half, they had, remember, they got the interception.
So they had eight plays, 11 yards to get a field goal there. They had the T.
Higgins touchdown.

Speaker 1 Every other drive was punt, punt, punt, punt, and then turnover on downs to end the game. So they weren't moving the ball in the second half.

Speaker 1 They were in the first half a little bit, but that play was significant. I'm trying to think, what if, oh,

Speaker 1 so two other things, the retirement boys, Sean McVay retiring. I think that one has a little bit of merit to it.
Aaron Donald retiring has no merit to it.

Speaker 1 That is the most blatant, and good for him, the most blatant. I'm the best player in the NFL right now, and my contract is outdated.
Pay me money. Yeah, because right now, I think

Speaker 1 he's currently due, what, $15 million a year for the next two years?

Speaker 1 Which is, it sounds like a lot, and it is a lot of money, but not for him. At least for three years.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 he's not going to walk away from that money. He's just trying to get more money.
Right. I think he's now the eighth highest paid defensive player or something.

Speaker 1 It's stupid

Speaker 1 where he is compared to where his, like what he produces.

Speaker 1 That's how contracts work, obviously, but this is a very clear move by him to be like, I'm going to retire, pay me more money, and they should pay him more money. I'd like to, just breaking news.

Speaker 1 I'm considering retiring from podcasting in two months. I'm going to walk away.
I'm going to hang up the sticks, hang up the mics one last time.

Speaker 1 Unless I want to get paid more money. If you want to pay me more money, that's fine.
I'll come back. Sign me up for a big deal.
Boom. Done.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, I think Sean McVay, like, that has a little bit of merit, but who knows? And then the only last thing I had, well, two last things. Sorry.
The Rams Parade is hilarious. Did you see it?

Speaker 1 I saw that LeBron James is planning the Rams Parade. Okay.
The Rams Parade,

Speaker 1 how long is the Rams Parade? Give me a guess. 90 minutes.
No, no length. Oh.

Speaker 1 I mean, in terms of buses, how many

Speaker 1 bus maths? Distance. Trucker math.
Distance traveled. Okay.
It depends, again, if there are trucks that are blocking up the 45.

Speaker 1 17 miles. It is three-quarters of a mile.

Speaker 1 That's odd. That's three-quarters of a mile.
It's incredible. This is their parade.
Hold on. I had it pulled up.

Speaker 1 Are the trucks actually going to go? Dude, I don't know what. I don't know if they're going to walk.
I don't know. Maybe they'll change it after they realize how ridiculous this is.
They're going.

Speaker 1 Their parade is going from basically outside the Los Angeles Coliseum to inside the Los Angeles Coliseum. They're going from the shrine auditorium to the Los Angeles Coliseum.
That rocks.

Speaker 1 Good for them.

Speaker 1 It's so perfect.

Speaker 1 They're just going to set up like a bunch of buses and then just have them walk across all the buses. It's not a parade.
It's just a party. It's a party.
That's fine. Call it a party.
It's a party.

Speaker 1 But that's LeBron James. He's planning that.
Did you see his tweet? He probably wants it to be less than the Lakers. So, yeah, yeah, so LeBron James, well, that's the thing.

Speaker 1 The Lakers didn't really get one because it was a Disney Bubble championship that they got. Yep.

Speaker 1 So LeBron James yesterday logged on to Twitter, as he often does, and he tweeted out, we, Dodgers, and Rams should all do a joint parade together with a live concert afterwards to end it.

Speaker 1 City of champions. Trophy, trophy, trophy.
Ring, ring, ring. Congrats.
Once again, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire. So LeBron James, king of making making everything about LeBron James.

Speaker 1 That's incredible. Yeah, it is.

Speaker 1 No, I actually want LeBron to miss a Lakers game because he's attending his own championship parade with the Rams that he's co-opted into being a Lakers parade while the rest of his team has to play during the game, but only like LeBron and AD skip the game to go to the Rams Super Bowl parade, which also honors the Lakers.

Speaker 1 I'd like to also invite, because of a COVID year, all four-time and five-time AWLs. Please attend this parade.
This will be your parade. Yep.
So we're just going to throw that in there.

Speaker 1 Make sure that they get awarded as well. Also, if we win a sports Emmy, which we're nominated for, and we...

Speaker 1 This podcast isn't really fond of awards because I don't know. I guess we're too cool for school.
We just think that they're basically to get retweeted. So we make fun of.

Speaker 1 The way that award shows work is that they nominate people who they think will either retweet the award or they select the people who are going to win based on the people that are going to show up to the award.

Speaker 1 And we're doing either. And then they talk about the award and they talk about the network that the award is being broadcast on, and it becomes just a big suck fest for everybody involved.

Speaker 1 Which normally I'm all for being involved in a giant suck fest. Well, I want to be sucked.
I don't want to have suck. Right.
That's the problem I have.

Speaker 1 I don't want to leave with bad taste in my mouth. And we're not going to win this award.
We might, but either way, we're tanking it. Yeah, we supported Ross.

Speaker 1 They asked for our best clip of the 2021-2022 season, and we submitted John Cena getting mad at us because his friend died two days before. So I hope that they play that at the awards ceremony.

Speaker 1 It would be awesome. And I'm sure that we lost.
The funniest part to me is our iHeart Radio podcast award record that we have, which is being nominated.

Speaker 1 We're the only person to be nominated every year and never have won. Or attended.
Or attended. And so that streak is definitely.
They probably already had it. I don't even know.

Speaker 1 I want that streak forever. I never want to, yeah.
Yeah. We're the awardless show.
All we do is give them out. That's just the type of guys we are.

Speaker 1 All right. So that, oh, the last, last thing.
The Stafford Hall of Fame debate. I know that it's

Speaker 1 people are bringing it up. I just want to clarify.
I don't, I'm not saying that I think that Matt Stafford is like an incredible Hall of Fame quarterback. I've my

Speaker 1 statement has simply been that his career will be there by the end. And I think this will this is a cherry on top for him.
Oh, breaking news. The Bill Simmons podcast won best sports podcast.

Speaker 1 So the streak continues. Bullshit.
Yeah, Bill Shaw. I think it was a Cena interview? Probably.
Yeah, no, but

Speaker 1 I think you're right. I think that Stafford is going to be a Hall of Famer.
I also think the big, you know, who actually had the best come up from this was Matt Ryan. Yes, Matt Ryan.

Speaker 1 Because now Matt Rivers. Usually Matt Ryan and guys like him,

Speaker 1 they take these ricochet shots when somebody's having a debate about somebody online. But in this one, it's like, no, wait.

Speaker 1 Matt Ryan was a fucking awesome quarterback and has been a great quarterback for a long time and probably will be a Hall of Famer. Phillip Rivers, too, if you look at his stats, just insane.
But yeah,

Speaker 1 now that Stafford has this, and he is a wife guy, and he's good to the media. He's good to the media.
He got a ring. He's probably going to be a Hall of Famer for a year.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, it's all these things actually matter. Maybe you can argue they shouldn't, but they absolutely matter.
And he's, again, he's like the Hall of Fame. They'll have to figure out how they judge

Speaker 1 this era. But Matt Stafford's going to end up like top six all time in passing.

Speaker 1 So, and he's also going to, no one's saying that he's right now, if he retired, he would be a Hall of Famer because I think he's still probably got a little work to do.

Speaker 1 My argument was always under the assumption that he plays until he's, I don't know, like 38, 39, and he adds up, you know, which would be four or five more years.

Speaker 1 That's the assumption that might not come true, though. Yeah, who knows? Because four more years, maybe? The other thing is the way that the Rams are built right now, they're all in, but

Speaker 1 they've got the tiniest window.

Speaker 1 They've got, you know, that window in like the back seat of a honda civic that's part of the uh like side window but it's a really small sliver yep that's their window that they have right now uh and the way that they're going to get hit by cap stuff they're probably not going to i don't know if stafford's going to play for five years yeah we'll see i mean maybe he'll go somewhere else and play finish out his career but either way he's going to have it's also going to be very similar like everyone obviously assumes eli manning's the first ballot hall of famer the two super bowls to one is the difference but there's not going to be i mean at the end of of the day, like Matt Safford and Eli Manning's numbers are going to be very similar, where it's like you could never argue that they were the best quarterback in the league, but they put up great numbers.

Speaker 1 They were consistent. Eli, obviously.
Matt got the Eli was his regular season is he's 500. Exactly 500.
So it's not. Matt Ryan did get an MVP, though.
Matt Ryan got an MVP.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, Matt Ryan has absolutely a case. That's the people were trying to come back at me being like, so what about Matt Ryan and Phil Rivers? And I'm like, yeah, they're Hall of Famers too.

Speaker 1 It's not the argument, and people are throwing Richard Sherman's quote in my face. I agree with Richard Sherman.
The Hall of Fame is not what it used to be.

Speaker 1 The passing stats have changed how we perceive all these things.

Speaker 1 My argument is that because of where the Hall of Fame sits right now, guys like Matt Safford, Matt Ryan, Phil Rivers, they're going to get in. They just are.
So,

Speaker 1 yeah, someone's got my life on it. All three of those guys are in.
Someone asked me to put my house on it. Should have.
They're like, dude,

Speaker 1 if you really think this, put your house up.

Speaker 1 He's like, I don't own a house, but I will. Yeah, no, you should actually, you should bet your life, actually.
I should bet my life because it's one of those things that I could never actually lose.

Speaker 1 Just buy a cyanide capsule. He could still get in.
And say, yeah, I'm still waiting on it. Yeah, he's still waiting on it.
The veterans committee might get him in.

Speaker 1 That's going to be the funniest part is he's going to get in, yeah, in like 40 years, and I'm going to be screaming to no one. Told you so.

Speaker 1 All right, let's do hot seat cool throne. Hot seat cool throne brought to you.

Speaker 5 Man, I'll tell you what. When you're hungry out there, you start acting like a rookie quarterback in his first game, making bad decisions, messing up the basics, being all out of sorts.

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Roasted peanuts, nugget, caramel, milk, chocolate. It's like the MVP of candy bars.

Speaker 5 And when you bite into it, boom, it sorts you out, gets your head back in the game of life, satisfying your hunger. Remember this: Snickers handles your hunger so you can handle everything else.

Speaker 5 Snickers satisfies, man. That's a winning play.

Speaker 1 Today, it's me, PFT, Bubba, and Memes.

Speaker 1 Hank and Billy and Jake are off on vacation. Just a reminder, so everyone remembers, we're on vacation as well, starting after this show.

Speaker 1 Friday, we have an awesome life episode, two and a half hours with Ryan Rasilla and Mark Titus. Monday is President's Day.
We're off. Tuesday, no show.
Wednesday, we'll be back. So we're really not.

Speaker 1 We're taking a holiday that's given to us, and that's it. We're missing a show.
We're technically

Speaker 1 here.

Speaker 1 Billy wanted us to take it off for Biden. Yeah, no, yeah, Billy said, Mr.
Biden. President Biden.
Yes. Yes.
And Dr. Donald.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And Bill Clinton, one of his heroes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so that's the schedule. And then we have some great interviews coming when we get back.
But

Speaker 1 I want to see some vacation positivity from everyone. For sure.
So I want to not know what I'm saying from the AWS. I want to see, hey, good job, guys.
You're going on vacation. Good job.
Actually,

Speaker 1 yell at me if I tweet anything over over the course of this weekend. Be like, go back, get back to your vacation.
Go back on vacation.

Speaker 1 Log off. Just tell me, log off, touch grass.
Yes. Vacation.

Speaker 1 I need your support in this. Yeah, I'm going on a vacation.
I'm on an actual vacation without kids. I've learned very quickly that having kids means it's a trip when you're with the kids.

Speaker 1 It's vacation when you're without. Yep.
It's just moving. It's moving home-based when you're bringing kids with you.
Yep. All right.
Baba, hot seat, cool throw.

Speaker 1 My hot seat is everybody in the NBA not named DeMar DeRosan because I watched the Bulls last night for the first time, and he's just turned into like the greatest player of all time. He's amazing.

Speaker 1 I turned on the game. He had back-to-back possessions where he dunked on a guy, and then I think he scored every point in the fourth quarter.
Yes. He's been incredible this year.

Speaker 1 Absolutely incredible. Are we on out of nowhere? Are we on turned back into a pumpkin watch with him? I've heard that narrative going already about DeMar the season.
It's like he can't keep this up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's regression that obviously people talk about. I did see an interview with, he did with Taylor Rooks

Speaker 1 maybe a couple months ago where I guess his dad was really sick.

Speaker 1 In the last couple of years in Toronto, he was flying from Toronto to California in all his off days and then flying back, which had to have affected him. But he's been awesome to watch.
So much fun.

Speaker 1 I think the Bulls as a team are kind of pumpkining. Like, they don't play defense since Caruso has been out.

Speaker 1 But DeMar DeRose and Zachalvine also has one of those knee injuries that just keeps lingering where it's like seeing specialists and it just never feels good.

Speaker 1 But Tamar is awesome. So much fun to watch.

Speaker 1 And my cool throne is Kodak Black. Yeah.
PFD is guy, super gremlin.

Speaker 1 Basically, he just went on Sunday conversation and it's like one of the best ones. Was he part of the shooting though that almost killed Dave? Yeah, he got shot.
Did he get shot? He got shot.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he got shot. How bad? But he's alive.
Yeah, he's fine. Where'd he get shot? He got shot, I think, like in his leg.
Quick power rankings, places to get shot.

Speaker 1 Back, like, back of the leg right here. The fleshy part of the thigh.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
So you can maybe put a tattoo over it, too? That'd be kind of fun. Laughter.
I wonder, you know what?

Speaker 1 Like, what if he paid some old, like, Italian mafia guy to shoot him in the fleshy part of the thigh in order to get street cred for his album that he's going to put out?

Speaker 1 He's been to jail like several times, but he needs the street cred. What about right here? Yeah, no, it's a Sopranos episode.
That would suck. Right through the...
That would suck, you think?

Speaker 1 Yeah, because then you couldn't.

Speaker 1 Right through your thumb.

Speaker 1 The your thumb part. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Impact video games. Memes, you got a shot.
You got a shot of the fire. You could have fire off tweets, though.
Ear, foot. Foot, top of the ear.
Foot would suck. I'd say top of the shoulder.

Speaker 1 Ass would kind of be lame. Yeah, ass would be kind of cool.
Yeah, but it would be lame. You couldn't sit.
Yeah, you couldn't sit. But it would be the least hurtful, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, probably.

Speaker 1 I feel like calf. Calf.
Calf muscle would be fine. Calf.

Speaker 1 Maybe tricep. Tricep would be not that bad.
No, tricep would be bad because then you couldn't extend your arm at all. For a little bit.
But then you get a sick tattoo.

Speaker 1 Yeah, my problem is my triceps are so small. I'm sure it would graze a bone if that happened.
Okay, so Kodak blocks back. Cool throne.
Yeah, the Sunday congo is very funny. It's very, very funny.

Speaker 1 Go check it out. Yeah, it's very good.
Memes, you want to go? Sure. Here we go.
Memes. Thanks for having me.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 really talking the mic there. Is Harambe one of yours?

Speaker 1 It was going to be.

Speaker 1 Go buy the shirts. We have them out now.
Yeah, we put out the Sincey Harambe shirts too. And we got an update.

Speaker 1 There's so many sickos in this world because the dead Harambe was the best seller from a fucking Rams Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 So you talked about it a little bit.

Speaker 1 I'm going with the ESPN Monday Night Crew on the Nazi because supposedly if McVay wants out, ESPN wants him in for Monday Night Football.

Speaker 1 Tony Romo makes $18 million. Same as Belichick, who's the highest paid coach.
So they're saying.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, I never understood when people are like, why would McVay ever want to do this? I don't know.

Speaker 1 Why would he want to work like one hundredth of the amount of hours and time and stress for more money? Yeah. I think that's a pretty good deal.

Speaker 1 We were talking about this the other day, and a lot of coaches, they keep coaching when they don't have to.

Speaker 1 just because they want to be away from their families all the time. But in McVay's case, he doesn't have a family.
He's getting married this summer.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so now he's like, I'd love to spend all the time with my hot girlfriend and just with my boys chilling. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So he's in a position where he wants to stop coaching, get paid a shitload of money, go on TV. It makes a lot of sense.
Now, what would happen if the Mannings said, we want to do the booth?

Speaker 1 Would they like relegate McVay? McVay would do the Manning cast. And we'll move to Hartford.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What they would do is they'd be like, hey, we'll get McVay and all the Grudens to do the Manning cast together. Yeah.
And it'll just be the Gruden show.

Speaker 1 All like the Normies would love McVay just referencing like random plays from five years ago. Yes.
Oh, he's a fucking genius. Oh, my God.
He'd be like, we called this play Rihanna.

Speaker 1 Remember that? Yes, yes. Yes.
Okay, you're Cool Throne. And then Cool Throne Nets Locker Room.
Bruce Brown said everybody likes each other now. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Ben Simmons, no longer mental health patient. Good to go.
I'm very happy for Ben Simmons. Yep.

Speaker 1 Who knows what the fuck is going to happen between him and James Harden, but it is also very funny that James Harden didn't sign his extension. Yeah.
So he could be a free agent this offseason.

Speaker 1 I really do. I actually might.
It's going to sound crazy. I might take a future on the Nets to win the title.

Speaker 1 If Ben Simmons can play and be

Speaker 1 decent,

Speaker 1 Kyrie and Kevin Durant, and I also it would be awesome if Kyrie just got vaccinated tomorrow, just right in James Harden's face. Because I know Hardin was really pissed about that.

Speaker 1 So that would be a very funny thing if he was just like, actually,

Speaker 1 I'm all in. Well, it depends.
If the new governor of New York is going to do these $100

Speaker 1 incentives, maybe Kyrie sees that. And he's like, yeah, you know what?

Speaker 1 Shotman gets paid. It's worth it.
Yeah, it's worth it.

Speaker 1 All right, good ones. Good ones.

Speaker 1 PFT. My hot seat.
is Tommy Amaker. Yeah.
See the report coming out.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's too bad that Hank's not here to talk about Coach K, But there's a report coming out of New Book that Tommy Amaker was going to be named next head coach of Duke.

Speaker 1 He coaches at Harvard now, coached at Seton Hall, I believe, before then. Yep.

Speaker 1 And Coach K got on a Zoom with him and essentially said, I can't have you taking this job because that would set John Shire back in his career.

Speaker 1 So we want you to take your name out of consideration. And out of respect for Coach K, Tommy Amaker realized that this job search thing was open.

Speaker 1 Apparently, he had been offered the job already until Coach K stepped in and told him, no, sorry, we don't want you here. Wow.

Speaker 1 Coach K racist? I would just love to hear Hank's position on maybe add a couple more K's to your name there. Interesting.
This is legacy-defining moves. It is legacy-defining.

Speaker 1 I hope it's not true. I hope that there's some sort of mix-up in the press.
Yeah. And I'm sure Hank will clarify at his earliest possible convenience when he returns from vacation.
Yes.

Speaker 1 My cool throw is Kyler Murray. Ah, that was my hot seat.
No, it's a cool throw because there's absolutely nothing to see here. Kyler Murray hopped on social media and he cleared things up.

Speaker 1 Everybody had been wondering for the last couple of weeks, what's going on between Kyler Murray and the Arizona Cardinals.

Speaker 1 He unfollowed them on social media, which it's so hilarious that this is what NFL players are doing now to like voice displeasure.

Speaker 1 They're looking at their hands, at their phone, and they're hitting a button.

Speaker 1 That'll show them. But

Speaker 1 it's funny, but it's also very true. Like, whenever we're like, oh man, how is this news that someone unfollows someone? Yeah.
Kyler Murray consciously unfollowed them in anger. Yes.

Speaker 1 Like he looked at it and was like, fuck these guys. Yeah.
You can't tell me different. I'll show them.
Yes. So between this and like the fake, I don't, is he lobbying for a new contract? I don't know.

Speaker 1 But anyways, he's no, he wants less of the blame. Okay, fine.
Fair enough. You'll get less of the blame, Kyler.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He tweeted out a statement. He notes apped it.
And he said, I play this. By the way, you can tell it's a very serious serious note sapp because he used the

Speaker 1 title heading for the entire one, the big bold one. I play this game for the love of it, my teammates, everyone who has helped me get to this position that believed in me and to win championships.

Speaker 1 All of this nonsense is not what I'm about. Never has been, never will be.
Anyone who has ever stepped between these lines with me knows how hard I go.

Speaker 1 Love me or hate me, but I'm going to continue to grow and get better. So, boom.
End of story.

Speaker 1 That says it all. All of this nonsense

Speaker 1 I directly caused is, I'm not about it. And you can make the case that this is just more nonsense.
Correct. I think Kyler Murray leads the league in nonsense.
He does.

Speaker 1 He also, so this was, I don't know if it was transcribed to a notes app on Twitter. I'm blocked by him, but he did use this same caption on Instagram.
Okay. And he posted it with a picture.

Speaker 1 And the picture he posted, it's the tallest I've ever seen him. I saw that picture.
Like that. He's remarkably tall in this picture.
You know what? In angles-wise. He's a master of angles.

Speaker 1 What he's done is he put his helmet a couple inches behind his feet, so he stepped in front of it. And no one else is around him.

Speaker 1 Yeah. He looks so tall in this picture.
He does.

Speaker 1 I actually could learn a lot about posting from this picture. But yeah, this Kyler Murray, way to go, dude.
It's like you're causing all this, but you're not about it.

Speaker 1 Case closed.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 So that was going to be my hot seat. My cool throne is Novak Jokovich.
So he has decided that

Speaker 1 he's going to opt out of future grand slams with COVID-19 vaccine mandates. And I just want to say,

Speaker 1 I applaud him, and he's brave. And I think that everyone should get their own choice.
So good job, Djokovic. You're my goat.
Yep. Unlike other athletes who may have opted out.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, there's a difference. He plays an individual sport.
Right. Other guys who play team sports, if you refuse a vaccine, jail.
Yes, exactly. He also said it's not about the vaccine.

Speaker 1 It's about the principles of it. So there you go.
Just for anyone out there who thinks this is about the vaccine, it's actually not. It's states' rights.

Speaker 1 It's not.

Speaker 1 It's not.

Speaker 1 What was it? It's not slavery. It's states' rights.
It's about state's rights. Yeah.

Speaker 1 There was actually on the road trip, the drive to the 405, a couple times when I thought that Billy was going to just start driving north.

Speaker 1 Like when we crossed 35, I was like, Billy's going to drive up to Alberta. Yeah.
And he's going to think that he's a trucker and joined the convoy.

Speaker 1 I also just remember we forgot to mention the story when we basically just did a PMT at like four in the morning the the other night. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 When we all just happened to randomly walk into each other, like by the pool at the hotel.

Speaker 1 All four of us ended up back walking into the hotel like within two minutes of each other at 3.45 in the morning.

Speaker 1 Just sitting down at the hotel at the hotel pool and just laughing and starting to riff. And there was like a couple random people there.
They're like, what are you guys doing? It's like, don't worry.

Speaker 1 We're doing a show right now. You're like, welcome to part of my take.

Speaker 1 This conversation is brought to you by Roman Swipes. We're doing this right now.
Don't just go away.

Speaker 1 We're recording a podcast in real life.

Speaker 1 We actually had, there was Fran came back at about the same time, and she walked behind us. They were like, Fran, you want to come on the show? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You just essentially yelled at her to ask her into a conversation. She's like, no, thanks, guys.
I'm tired. Like, all right, now it's Fran.
Give it up for Fran, guys.

Speaker 1 It was very similar to the memory that we had of last time we were in L.A. You weren't with us, Bubba, but it was me, PFT, and Hank.
We played a very physical game of 21 at the Beverly Hills.

Speaker 1 What was that? What was that whole thing? Marina Del Rey. No, Maria Del Rey, four seasons.
Played a very physical game of 21, then smoked weed, then got in a hot tub.

Speaker 1 And it was the three of us and then a couple that were like trying to have a very like sensual evening. And we were just talking about if we were super rich, what we'd put in our house.

Speaker 1 I was like, I'd put a chilies in a bowling alley. Like these people are just sitting there like trying to make out what we're just super high talking about the most random shit.

Speaker 1 We end up doing the show a lot. Yeah, when we're not doing the show.

Speaker 1 That was was a good one though i think this most recent one might have been our best episode oh it's so good i wish we had recorded it we i don't know i don't remember i'm glad that we didn't that one's like it's good to do an episode every now and again that just goes out for the love of the game yeah like people say i do this for free we actually do do this show for free right it's like when kyrie shows up it like dressed up like an old guy even though that was for a movie but like playing you know what i mean we're just we just show up and start podcasting we we should actually do that at some point like go to some sort of podcast convention dressed up as old people like donna groodin and what was your name?

Speaker 1 Ivan Roth. Ivan Roth.
And be like, can we see how to use these things? Yeah. And then just step up there and do an episode of part of my take dressed looking like old people.
Or even better,

Speaker 1 we go to like a busy coffee shop or like a train station and we just start, you know, like the Beatles playing on their rooftop. We have a loud conversation.

Speaker 1 Not that we're the Beatles, but yeah, just be like, holy shit.

Speaker 1 They're doing a podcast. And then we have like millions of people like, oh my God, they're doing a podcast.

Speaker 1 The funny part about podcasting is that even if me and Big Cat did that, and even if we did like a Monday recap where we were doing like the fastest two minutes with the noises, nobody would stand and watch.

Speaker 1 It'd be maybe one person. It would be like the videos of

Speaker 1 a world-famous violinist playing the world's most expensive violin in Union Station, and people just walking by, ignoring. Yes, again, we're not that guy.

Speaker 1 Again, we're not, we're absolutely not that guy. We just compared ourselves to like the greatest.

Speaker 1 Well, no, I'm saying it's totally different for podcasts because what we do takes significantly less talent, I would say. There'd be one dude that would be like, hey, can I just get a picture?

Speaker 1 And you guys can just keep talking? Like, I'm not here to listen. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then he puts his headphones

Speaker 1 listens.

Speaker 1 All right, let's get to TJ Watt. When we come on the other side, we're going to actually have the man himself, Jersey Jerry, on the show to do Guys on Chicks and tell us about his TJ Watt FaceTime.

Speaker 1 Before we do that, I'm not going back to college to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber one for students.
It saves you on Uber and Uber Eats.

Speaker 1 I'm there for $0 delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 10% off smoothies, and 6% Uber credits back on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think college is for.

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Speaker 1 All right, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is Defensive Player of the Year.

Speaker 1 As of last night, tj watt the watt trilogy has been completed so thank you you are the you are missing like avenger stone out of the infinity zone i've not seen it either but you're yeah sure so yeah collect them all we've got them all you're like pokemon yes yes um so very like awesome congratulations by the way uh like we thought you were defensive player of the year all the all year also a little mini dynasty right now because i think i crunched the numbers four out of the last 10 defensive player of the years are wisconsin badgers which is insane that they produce that many good defensive players.

Speaker 1 It was literally just JJ and TJ, but that's okay. That's okay.
Defense Badger. That's a cool stat to throw out there now.
Bullbacks and defense. Yeah, that's what they do.

Speaker 1 But we have to start before we get into the season and everything else.

Speaker 1 We have to start with something. This is why we had to have Hank here, who was a little late, but that's okay.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you saw the video. Oh, I saw.
Oh.

Speaker 1 So do you want to apologize or how do we go about this? Because

Speaker 6 I do want to apologize.

Speaker 6 I don't know if you read it wrong, how exactly it happened.

Speaker 6 If it was DJ, I would have understood. But hey, I understand the excitement that you had.
I wish it would have hit for you, buddy.

Speaker 1 For anyone who doesn't know what we're talking about here, I mean, most people do, but Hank bett

Speaker 1 in the Steelers Chiefs game, first touchdown. He thought he had bet first touchdown score, TJ Watt, which is insane.

Speaker 1 And you actually did score the first touchdown, which that's, was that, how many touchdowns have you scored? That was the first one. First one ever.

Speaker 1 First one in the game. Hanks stood up and thought he had won $3,000 off a $20 bet.
The look on his face was priceless. Yes.
Before and after you found out. Yes.

Speaker 1 And I actually remember I was talking to JJ after because he was like, this has to be a bit. And I was like, no, no, no.
Like, we are this stupid.

Speaker 1 So you robbed him of an unbelievable moment. I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 I'm truly sorry. Yeah, you owe him like three grand.

Speaker 1 We'll figure that out.

Speaker 1 That was cool, though, when you scored that touchdown. It was, you can never take away that moment we had with Hank where he thought he hit that bet.

Speaker 6 Hey, that had to be a hell of an exciting couple minutes.

Speaker 1 No, it was a raw. Yeah, and it actually was like a couple minutes before Hank read your name.
And he was like, oh, shit. No, it was Nick, right? Yeah.
Nick was like, this is Derek Watt.

Speaker 1 Incredible. Yeah, it was great.
It was all time. In that game, were you after you scored the touchdown?

Speaker 6 Because we put together a list of things that needed to happen for the steelers to win that game and i think the first one was we we need uh tj watt to score at least one touchdown maybe more uh but at that point were you like we can do this like maybe maybe we can beat the chiefs i mean i thought we had a chance i i really did i mean i don't i didn't know how their offense was so powerful and we we put together a great uh string of stops and it was one of those things you don't know how much longer you're going to be able to keep stopping them but uh we knew we had to score points was glad to get in the end zone i tried to do my own little Lambo leap.

Speaker 6 I think I head-butted the guy. I felt so bad.
I hit him hard with my face mask and turned around, celebrated. I thought we had good momentum, and clearly it just wasn't.

Speaker 1 I mean, it was crazy that you guys got to the playoffs to begin with because there was times where it felt like the season was slipping away. And you obviously battled some injuries.

Speaker 1 Incredible defensive player of the year. What injury, though, this year was Big Ben most jealous of? Was he like, ooh, I kind of wish I had that? Because he loves injuries.

Speaker 6 I don't know. I mean, I think people are always jealous of a nice groin injury.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 6 You can still probably throw in the pocket with the groin injury. You can miss some practice time, show up on a Friday, still practice.

Speaker 1 Got a sick limb.

Speaker 6 Yeah, it's a nice little limp.

Speaker 6 I don't know.

Speaker 1 I mean, I go get treatment done. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 A little treatment, a little grasting on, a little do some treatment, cupping, all that stuff. But yeah, I had a fair share of injuries myself, but

Speaker 6 didn't miss too much time. No, he didn't.

Speaker 1 How many walking boots does he have have just like in and around his locker?

Speaker 6 He's got a separate locker for the walking boot.

Speaker 1 I like to think he's got like different styles of like he's got Jordan walking boot. He's got like a Yeezy branded walking boot, depending on the day.
We love Big Ben. We love him.

Speaker 1 His goodbye this year was emotional. I think everybody got a little emotional seeing him walk off the field with his family.
Is there any chance at all? that he comes back. Any chance?

Speaker 1 Just tell me like one person.

Speaker 1 I have no idea.

Speaker 6 I have no idea. I mean, it sounded like his retirement was a true retirement, but who knows?

Speaker 6 I'm just thankful that I had the five years that I had with him. It was cool to be a part of.

Speaker 1 So playing for the Steelers, obviously, iconic franchise.

Speaker 1 How much does it actually pump you up when Renegade plays?

Speaker 1 Because I was at the Monday Night Football game, Bears Steelers, and they played Renegade, and literally two seconds later, the Bears fumbled. And I was like, this is illegal.
This is not fair.

Speaker 1 Does it really pump you guys up? Because from a fan perspective, we're like, holy shit, this is awesome.

Speaker 6 It's cool.

Speaker 6 I mean, in college you used to watch like hit tapes before games you know and it gets you pumped up and in nfl you don't really have all the hip tapes and the hype the hit tapes and the hype before games so um the lights go out and it used to be i mean i think my dad always said to me like every time you guys play renegade the team just goes down your throat and just scores a touchdown there's like a stretch of games or renegade played and we just played terribly uh and this year it was just one of those years where renegade played we we really fed off the hype and the adrenaline the lights go out and the the terrible towels go crazy and uh when that stadium is rocking,

Speaker 6 it's a fun atmosphere to play.

Speaker 1 Yeah, one time they played Double Renegade. That was crazy.
Double Renegade. Yeah, they went Double Renegade like two years ago.
Just run it back.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know if they did by mistake or if it was on purpose, but it was awesome. And I think you guys got like a turnover on that drive.

Speaker 1 Do you like, what do you listen to in the locker room before a game?

Speaker 6 Well, I'm not allowed to have my phone on me 90 minutes before the game.

Speaker 1 Is that a Tomlin rule?

Speaker 6 No, that's an NFL mandated rule.

Speaker 1 Really?

Speaker 1 You got to check that. I think that's

Speaker 6 I received a fine for saying it jokingly in an interview this year, so I just a little stab.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay.

Speaker 6 I jokingly said I'd check my phone at halftime of the Baltimore game, and the NFL took it as a real saying, and fined me $10.

Speaker 1 No way. Why aren't you allowed serious or not? That doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 6 So it's just one of those things where, yeah, I'm not allowed to have my phone on me at all 90 minutes before the game or during halftime. So

Speaker 6 if there's music playing in the locker room, I'll listen to that. Otherwise, I just sit there at my locker.

Speaker 1 Just focus. Is Goodell trying to cut down on screen time for all the players or like what is I don't understand.

Speaker 6 Hey, six star pro nutrition that was our thing was cutting down on screen time. So maybe that's maybe that's a full thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I did a terrible job by the way of introducing the nutrition you got here, the stuff here. That's my bad.

Speaker 1 We did have Billy Football's already in Vegas, but this is PFT has been working out a lot. So he's going to start using this.

Speaker 1 I had been on a run a second ago and I brought my jewel with me and I hit it before I turned around.

Speaker 1 When they said in the workout, I was like, okay, now it's time to turn around and go back. I was like, all right, just give me a break here.
Took a couple drags, got the lungs moving, activated.

Speaker 1 I'll take some of this pre-workout now. Yeah, so they got pre-workout.
It's called Six-Star Pro-Nutrition. You should check it out.

Speaker 1 If you're trying to get back in shape in 2022, boom, here it is. Put on some muscle.
It's right here for you. PFT is literally going to take you.

Speaker 6 You're just going to scoop and dump it or you're going to put in some water. Just raw dog it.

Speaker 1 All right. Yeah.
Here's some water. I respect that.
I do have to, TJ, I have to come clean with something.

Speaker 1 We almost had a disaster in this studio. When he's disaster before you came here, what happened? All right.
So

Speaker 1 JJ and I, like everyone knows part of my take in JJ's relationship, it's actually, I've become friends with him.

Speaker 1 We text, you know, not like all the time, but you know, we'll catch up every now and then, talk about the Badgers.

Speaker 1 So last night I texted him and I was like, hey, what, like, what do you have on TJ that I can get him on? And he was like, well, he's like legit, like very, very badly allergic to tree nuts.

Speaker 1 And he was like, he almost died at Derek's wedding like didn't go to the wedding so I was like great so I went and I bought some nuts and put them in a Ziploc bag and wrote tree nuts on them and I told the guys before and they're like but wait what are those nuts and I was like almonds and they're like those are tree nuts

Speaker 1 tree nut is a type of nut like I was

Speaker 1 an actual tree nut yeah I didn't realize so you almost died again Like that would have almost happened.

Speaker 6 That would have been like three out of the five Super Bowl weekends I had attended that I had.

Speaker 6 We were just telling the the story last night uh when we were in arizona jj got defensive player of the year i don't know what one of the three times and uh i ate some like lomain or something from the hotel and i had an allergic reaction i was on the red carp with just a red face uh there was once in pittsburgh uh james harrison actually emergency drove me to the hospital holy because i had uh my face looked like i just went five rounds with mike tyson whoa and then uh one year at the super bowl my dad jokingly threw a pecan at me and it hit me in the face and my face blew up no way because i needed i went and washed my hands.

Speaker 1 I went and washed my hands because I was like, oh, shit.

Speaker 6 I know. He felt terrible about it, but he threw a pecan.

Speaker 6 He felt really bad, but I still give him crap.

Speaker 1 He's like, I didn't throw it. I'm like, me and you were the only ones in the room, man.
Holy shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the big plan was we're just going to toss these nuts at you. Man, that would have been bad.
And see what happens. We might have killed you.

Speaker 1 Oh, it might have been bad. Yeah, I saved your life.

Speaker 1 I saw that bag and I was like, wait, big cat. Those are awesome.
I think that almonds are tree nuts. Please, can we not kill our guests today? Is there a certain one that you're more allergic to?

Speaker 6 I do it. They run me through a gamut of tests every year, and they're like, I don't think you're allergic to almonds.
And I'm like, I'm still staying away. Yeah.
They give you like ones that you're.

Speaker 6 Do you want to try? I do not want to try.

Speaker 1 Do you have any microphone? Yeah,

Speaker 6 my fiancé carries the Evpen. I know.

Speaker 1 Why don't we just try an almond just with the boys? You want to play almond pen? It would make great content.

Speaker 6 Just have like a time lapse on my face, just like blowing up.

Speaker 1 It was like a spin-off of Sean Evans' hot ones. We just find things that people are allergic to and try to kill them slowly during an interview.

Speaker 1 Just see how long my airways cut off yeah i say we play almond roulette we have two peanuts and then one almond yeah and then you have to you have to overturn a cup and then eat that nut that's under there yeah

Speaker 6 i've always envied like pecan pie and stuff like that because always smells so good but i've never been able to eat it um all right so who's the funniest wap brother

Speaker 1 I heard it's you.

Speaker 1 It is me. Yeah, I heard it's you.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.
All right. Because, I mean, I did hear it was you.

Speaker 1 Are you guys still, like, now, obviously, Derek's got kids. You guys have moved around on a lot of

Speaker 1 career shifts. Are you guys still just as competitive when you get together, the three of you?

Speaker 6 Yeah, it's funny that you mentioned Derek has kids because Derek always mentions that he has kids. We always go, Derek, he got kids.

Speaker 1 He has sex.

Speaker 6 Yeah, we're very competitive. And it's one of those things that whenever we do get together in the offseason and train, you do kick it up a notch.

Speaker 6 And that's why, like, when you win awards like this and we have that special embrace on stage, it truly is so special. And you have to take a moment to realize that three of us are in the NFL.

Speaker 6 We grew up in the same household together and put so much work into it that when we are together, we truly bring the best out of each other. And it's a really unique bond.

Speaker 1 And the craziest part about your career, because obviously everyone knows JJ's, you know, the central Michigan part of it.

Speaker 1 But like when you went to Wisconsin, was it three full years that you didn't play a snap because of injuries?

Speaker 6 Yeah, I mean, if you want, I can run through the game and it's taken me like two minutes to run through. But yeah, I went to Wisconsin as a tight end,

Speaker 6 was 18 years old red shirted was fine with that going against like Brendan Kelly guys like 22 years old I mean I wasn't ready to play at all I just scout team bowl prep

Speaker 6 dislocated my right kneecap so basically just pops out and comes back in they said just rehab it no surgery so I said all right first day of spring ball it's like three months later First day of practice dislocated my left one.

Speaker 6 So basically said

Speaker 6 the right one's fine with rehab So just rehab it again came back first day of fall camp like first day of pads dislocated the right one again so basically flew down to um houston jj's uh team surgeon walt lowe um operated on my right knee and uh was really healthy was there for the lsu game when they played lsu down there yep emotional saw them go out of the tunnel was bummed i couldn't be there came back uh after surgery i think it was spring ball again or maybe it was fall camp left one or spring ball left one went right after i repaired my right one so i was still a tight end went down got surgery again.

Speaker 6 And then it was that summer where Coach Chris was like, hey, man, you should try playing defense. And I was like, am I not a good enough tight end for you or what?

Speaker 1 I thought you were going to say, like, try playing soccer. Yeah.
You should try handing out water.

Speaker 1 So you popped both of them out twice.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And that's so now we're what, 2014?

Speaker 6 Yeah. So I had two years at Wisconsin where I actually played.
I had the one year where I switched to defense and played behind Vince Beagle and Joe Schober. In 15, yeah.
Yep, 15. And then

Speaker 6 in spring ball, had a true spring ball, which is the first one I ever had in college, and then played the one year, started, and then NFL told me, return to school.

Speaker 6 I submitted my papers and just said.

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Speaker 6 You don't know me. You don't know the work that I put in, what I've been through,

Speaker 6 and was able to be a first-round pick.

Speaker 1 It's crazy, though, like to think, you know, it had to be very demoralizing to have being a football player, someone who loves football, football family, and you go,

Speaker 1 like I said, I think it was three full years if you didn't get to play a live snap of football.

Speaker 6 Yeah, it was frustrating. And

Speaker 6 I mean, obviously you have a lot of expectations being the younger brother of, I mean, Derek was a hell of a football player at Wisconsin too and still is to this day. But

Speaker 6 I...

Speaker 6 It was just trying to figure out why this was happening, all that stuff. But it gave me perspective.
You'd hear guys

Speaker 6 complaining about practice and they don't want to be here. And I would have given anything to be able to practice.

Speaker 6 And I think that's why I love this game so much is because it was taken away from me for those crucial years in college.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. And that 16 team was obviously very good.
Did you think

Speaker 1 Bart Houston, did you think he maybe had a shot at the Heisman after that first game? Yeah, I did. LSU.
I made the shirt.

Speaker 6 Hey, Bart Houston was a hell of a football player. He's like a California high school legend.

Speaker 1 I know, and his name was just awesome.

Speaker 1 And I was like, holy shit, like, you guys beat LSU at Lambeau It actually it's like a sliding door moment because that kind of ended Les Miles like that was the beginning of the end for him and I was like oh fuck man Bart Houston Bart Heisman this is gonna happen.

Speaker 1 You don't meet too many Barts these days. Real true

Speaker 1 good football name. Yeah.

Speaker 1 How come Derek's the only one that's allowed to play offense?

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 6 I don't know. I'm trying to figure that out.
I would like to get a snap of offense.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So what position would you like to would you like to get at a tight end or do you want to be a fullback?

Speaker 6 Tight end. I don't want to I don't want to have to have a big collision.

Speaker 6 I'd rather save a potential helmet to helmet collision.

Speaker 1 It would be just so awesome though, to be like, I just, I want to, I want to do something on offense where I don't touch the ball. You never hear about like a defensive player lobbying to play.

Speaker 6 You just go on offense and not get the fullback dive on third and one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. I just want to block.
You're like,

Speaker 1 can you just put me in at like a tackle eligible, but I won't go out on a route. I'll just stay in and block.

Speaker 6 Exactly. I'll just come back and block the end that's not even in the play.

Speaker 1 Yeah, have you asked Mike Tomlin if you can play offense?

Speaker 6 I haven't. I'm sure he'd look at me and just say, no.

Speaker 6 I don't think there'd be much joking to go along with it.

Speaker 1 But who knows? What is it about Mike Tomlin? Because I've actually,

Speaker 1 like, my thoughts on Mike Tomlin have evolved through the years where there was, you know, there was the time when Antonio Brown and Le'Veon Bell thing was happening.

Speaker 1 I was like, is he kind of losing this? But then in retrospect, I'm like, holy shit, Mike Tomlin's an incredible coach that everything was able to stay together.

Speaker 1 Like, is he, everyone says he's a player's coach. What does that look like day to day?

Speaker 6 He's a cool guy, man. He's fun to play for.

Speaker 6 He can be like that friend role if you want him, in moments. I think he just plays those moments so well.
And then there's also times where he's just so commanding.

Speaker 6 I don't know if you've ever met him or had a conversation with him, but he's got that deep voice. And he'll have you run through a wall for him.
He's just so organized.

Speaker 6 He knows how to motivate individual guys. I think that's really tough in the NFL.
You got guys coming from all different places, motivated different ways, and he knows how to grind your gears.

Speaker 6 And he'll talk up the other team's edge rusher like he's the Almighty and kind of look at me side-eyed. And I'm like, message received, message received.

Speaker 1 So what is it, the Tomlin thing that I love? I love coaches that I can like depend on. I know the spots to pick.
Like, all right, this is where this is a Mike Tomlin spot.

Speaker 1 This is the first part of this question is going to sound like it's a dig at you guys, but there's been times in the past where the Steelers have gone as big favorites and it's like, maybe come out flat.

Speaker 1 But then when you guys are like back against the wall, what does he do to get it? It like back against the wall. Steelers are underdogs.
Like, all right, Mike Tomlin, he'll have them ready.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I think it's one of those things where he's consistent in everything that he does.

Speaker 6 It's not like there's big rah-rah speeches, or when we're on top, it's not like we're sitting around thinking we're the shit or anything like that.

Speaker 6 I think it's just one of those things where he's so consistent over a time that it's hard to not buy in. And

Speaker 6 I don't think that's anything to do with him. I think in those situations, we just can't let up on the gas pedal.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you ever find yourself listening to him talk and you're like, the words that he's using are English, and I know what he means by what he says, but it doesn't really make sense as a sentence.

Speaker 6 He's got a lot of like one-liners,

Speaker 6 a lot of good sayings. I mean, there's a fine line between squishing grapes and making wine.
Yeah. I like that one.
That's a good one.

Speaker 1 Cut your eyelids off.

Speaker 6 Cut your eyelids off. Don't blink.
Yeah, don't blink.

Speaker 1 The standard is the standard.

Speaker 6 Standard is the standard. The new one this year was either you're either buying smart or you're buying in the gated community.

Speaker 6 So either you're balling and you're making a lot of money or you're buying smart. I like that one a lot.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that one's good.

Speaker 6 Usually you can tell, like, he's definitely reading the book where he got that from.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's got to be. He's got to be coming from somewhere.
Yeah, definitely. I love it because you can, I get his vibe whenever he says something.
I know what he's trying to communicate.

Speaker 1 He's a very effective communicator. He could say anything.
He could read the dictionary. I'd be like, oh, okay.
Yeah, he wants me to get amped up. I get that.
But yeah, we love. Love Mike Tomlin.

Speaker 1 What does the standard standard mean? We've been debating that for the last couple of years. Haven't gotten around to figuring it out yet.

Speaker 6 I take it as like the next, it's like the next man up mentality.

Speaker 6 Pittsburgh Steelers, gritty defense. For me, as a defensive player, it doesn't matter who's in the game.
Like I said, I missed a couple games. The next guy has to step up.

Speaker 6 The standard's been set by seven, six Super Bowls in the past. It's the standard is the standard.

Speaker 1 What is the standard?

Speaker 1 Did I just say a whole bunch of words that just didn't mean anything? No, it's great. The way that you described it was perfect, actually.
It's like, no, Pittsburgh Steelers, our mentality.

Speaker 1 The standard. Gritty.
The standard. I get it.
I get what it means. Yeah, yeah, we love them.

Speaker 1 I have a quote here. This is actually a tweet that was put out earlier this year from our good friend Adam Schefter.

Speaker 1 So you signed your big contract. Congratulations.
Can I have some money? You don't have to answer that.

Speaker 1 But the tweet was, Steelers outside linebacker TJ Watt overruled his agents who believe they could get more money today, marched into the office of Steelers president, Art Rooney, and told him they had a deal.

Speaker 1 Then the NFL's new highest paid defensive player excused himself and announced he had to go work out.

Speaker 6 That's just one of those things, man, having fun. And I mean,

Speaker 6 the deal, I'm just so glad that the deal got done with Mr. Rooney.
And it was a hard process to get there. Glad it got done.
And it was one of those things, it was a Thursday.

Speaker 6 I always work out on a Thursday.

Speaker 6 Always take a scoop of my six-star pre-workout.

Speaker 1 Which, by the way, is delicious. Yes.
Is it good? Yes.

Speaker 6 Is your face crawling yet?

Speaker 1 You don't even need water.

Speaker 6 You're starting to get a little red in the face.

Speaker 1 You got beta allamine or whatever. You had any tingles? Yeah.

Speaker 1 But yeah,

Speaker 6 I went down, I worked out

Speaker 6 and just went about my day. It was one of those things where when they said the deal was

Speaker 6 potentially done, it was a Thursday after practice. Normally get my workout in afterwards and went up, shook Mr.
Oooney's hand and went down and worked out and went about my day.

Speaker 1 Did you march into the office?

Speaker 6 I don't know if I've ever marched anywhere.

Speaker 1 Did you announce that you had to go work out?

Speaker 6 No. Or did you just go work out? There's no megaphone near me to say, like, to let everybody upstairs know that I was about to work out.

Speaker 1 So did you write that tweet or did your agent? agent? I said you wrote it.

Speaker 6 I didn't write that tweet. I was probably doing my social media cleanse through Six Star at that point.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, there we go. Wait, who

Speaker 1 is your agent? Who else do they rep in the league?

Speaker 6 My agency is CAA Sports. Okay.

Speaker 1 So we just try to connect the dots. Like Adam Schafter tweeted about how important Jimmy G is.
And it was clear he was trying to just get the info on Tom Brady's retirement.

Speaker 1 So we're trying to just figure out what was he tweeting that got him this.

Speaker 6 That's mind-blowing stuff.

Speaker 1 I mean, this is the stuff. This is why you guys who are in the game.
You're working out and we're sitting here being like, ooh, what does this tweet mean?

Speaker 1 I wonder who wrote Adam Schefter's tweet for it. It's a great life.
It's a great life. It actually is.

Speaker 1 Hypothetically, not talking about anybody in this room, but hypothetically, would it be weird if a 37-year-old man was DMing college students trying to get them to transfer to Wisconsin?

Speaker 1 Hypothetically. Hypothetically? Yeah, hypothetically.
Pretty weird. Yeah.

Speaker 6 But depending, I'd have to know the hypothetical situation.

Speaker 1 So hypothetically, it's not a high school kid. It's a kid who already went to hypothetical Oklahoma for a year.
Never good to start a sentence with. Hypothetically, it's not a high school school.

Speaker 1 I promise you. I just want to clear.
I would never,

Speaker 1 I would never DM a high school

Speaker 1 unless he was a five-star quarterback, then I probably would. But

Speaker 1 hypothetically, this person just said, yo, what's up, man? Madison is sick. You fuck with my vision.
Let's build.

Speaker 6 I'd say hypothetically, your poll must have not been what you thought.

Speaker 1 Clearly didn't.

Speaker 1 But hypothetically, if for some reason he didn't choose Wisconsin and he was like, all I really wanted was for Big Cat to reach out, maybe the 0.001% chance that happens, if I hadn't, I would have been killing myself.

Speaker 6 Hypothetically, you did your part.

Speaker 1 You did your part. And I actually...
You can sleep at night. Hypothetically.

Speaker 1 Hypothetically,

Speaker 1 other guys, you know, Again, just like random people, guys who maybe signed a $100 million contract a few years ago, or a guy who signed an 80 million guaranteed contract and then immediately marched into the weight room.

Speaker 1 Like those guys feel like guys that have a little bit of money that they could throw around to hypothetically get this kid to go to Wisconsin.

Speaker 6 Hypothetically, I don't know what JJ is doing.

Speaker 1 Why not just be like, I guess this is the difference between like players and fans that like if I had your money, I would have been like, hey, Caleb Williams, here's $10 million.

Speaker 1 I'm not sure that's

Speaker 1 happy.

Speaker 6 Where do I send that wire to?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Is that, I don't even know what NIL rules are.
No, you need to do that. You're like, oh, yeah.

Speaker 6 Just Venmo or Zelle or whatever they're doing these days.

Speaker 1 No problem. No problem.
I just, listen.

Speaker 6 That would get him Mickey's Dairy Bar for forever.

Speaker 1 Yes, exactly.

Speaker 6 What would you spend that on in Madison, Wisconsin?

Speaker 1 I know, right? Like,

Speaker 1 yeah, I don't know. Like, you actually couldn't.
It'd be like a Brewster's Million situation. Like, can you spend $10 million

Speaker 1 on drinks in a college town like Madison where everything is like $2?

Speaker 6 You'd be like $1,000 in and be like, I did everything I wanted to hold on.

Speaker 1 Right, right. Living like a king.
I just, I, listen, I, I am very open about the fact that I would like to be a booster. Why not? Why not? Yeah, why not? What's the downside?

Speaker 1 I don't think I can go to jail, right? No, I don't think so. So then I'm good.
All those Miami guys, it worked out fine for them. Wait, no, one guy went to the business.
That was something different.

Speaker 1 He did like fucking, they always get you for like tax evasion or something. Podzi scheme.
I'll just pay my taxes and then just give money to players, high school kids. No problem.

Speaker 1 Sounds like a good business. Sounds like a great business.

Speaker 1 Who's stronger? You or JJ?

Speaker 1 JJ is stronger. Really? Yeah.
He's strong. He's strong as shit, man.
Get some of this pre-workout in.

Speaker 6 He's strong as shit. He's a plug.
I mean, with my six-star pro-nutrition, this is, I think, my second or third year with them now.

Speaker 6 I think I'll be able to take my... my workouts to new heights this offseason.

Speaker 1 I like it.

Speaker 1 How much more does he bench than you?

Speaker 6 I have no idea what the actual number is. We don't really do max benches anymore.
I know that people don't like to hear that because

Speaker 1 it's too dangerous.

Speaker 6 It's too dangerous.

Speaker 1 So you do your bandwork and shit.

Speaker 6 Yeah,

Speaker 6 it's all football-specific stuff now.

Speaker 6 People want to see the squats in the bench.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 A lot of times, JJ likes to get the pictures of the squats deep in the business.

Speaker 1 He does. Yeah, he loves.
He loves posting online.

Speaker 1 What's the, so Derek being on your team this year, like, Derek's a good football player. You're defensive player of the year.
That's no knock on Derek.

Speaker 1 But is there ever a time where it's like Derek has to be like, hey, TJ, like the guys are being mean to me. Can you like help me out? Like, you're the best player on this team?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 6 Derek can handle himself. That's the cool thing.
I mean, like, I hate that special team gets overlooked as much as it does. And I know you're a kicker.

Speaker 6 But

Speaker 6 it's.

Speaker 6 The amount that goes in that he puts into special teams and the amount of pride that he takes in special teams is something that I didn't have an appreciation for until he got here.

Speaker 6 I didn't know how much he truly put into running down the field. And it's hard to make those tackles in open field.
I mean, I was on punt my rookie year and I got hurt my second game and I...

Speaker 6 hoped that they didn't put me back on the punt team and they did anyways. But those are hard plays to make and he puts, he cares a whole lot about it.
And

Speaker 6 I just love watching him compete and be able to see him up close and personal do what he does professionally is awesome.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's a very good fullback and he's a very good special teams player, like you said.

Speaker 1 How come he doesn't get a J in his name, though?

Speaker 6 Because I think DJ Tanner from Full House is a girl, so he didn't want to be DJ.

Speaker 6 I think that's the root of it.

Speaker 1 So his middle name is a J.

Speaker 6 Derek John, yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, so it's his choice to not be a J. Yes.
Wow. I don't know if I like that.
It is kind of cool, though, to have the one guy that plays offense. He's not a J.
He's a little different.

Speaker 6 He did play defense in college, though. Yeah.
He started out.

Speaker 1 So why did he get switched?

Speaker 6 I think it was Chris Borland, and I forget who else is in there.

Speaker 1 And I mean,

Speaker 6 he smacks it around in there and throws his head around in there. And they liked the way that he presented and accepted context.
They put him at full back.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 So we're going to run this right after the Super Bowl, but there's been a lot of talk about Joe Burrow and like playing different sports and how he could, I think his quote is he could get like 12 points in an NBA game.

Speaker 1 You're an insane hockey player. If we threw you out there, could you last a shift in the NHL?

Speaker 6 It was like two minutes, right? Yeah,

Speaker 6 I think I could let. I mean, yeah, I think I could let.
I mean, if we're fighting for 30 seconds of this shift, maybe.

Speaker 1 Would you score?

Speaker 1 What position?

Speaker 6 I was a center, a left-wing. I was a lefty, so okay.
I haven't played it. It's actually

Speaker 6 this offseason. I want to get some skates and I want to run out some ice time and I want to get back on the ice.
I think that'd be a lot of fun. But I don't know if I'd get you a goal.

Speaker 6 I mean, some of the scores are 1-0-0-0. So, I don't know.
I don't want to disrespect the NHL guys out there.

Speaker 1 Maybe just crash the net, just get in front of the net. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Push Push the goalie around. Yeah, see who the turn.
See who's got the goalies back.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's a playoff goal.

Speaker 6 That was the thing on the team playing home one year or one flight. We said,

Speaker 6 I could get you two points in a rebound in an NBA game.

Speaker 1 You could? Yeah. I think I could.

Speaker 6 The rebound, the rebound would be tough.

Speaker 1 No, I think the rebound might be easier than

Speaker 6 would you be the under-the-hoop rebound or would you just be went for the three-point missed rebound?

Speaker 1 No, I would hang out like on the perimeter and hope for a really ugly miss. Yeah.
That would be.

Speaker 6 Where are you getting your points, though? You got to get two.

Speaker 1 I don't think I could do it if you're not going to be able to do it if you've seen me. I'm like 5-2.

Speaker 6 You get to play the whole game though.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I don't think you'd probably only be able to play. I mean,

Speaker 6 you'd probably only get to play five minutes of the game.

Speaker 1 If you were playing with other NBA players, maybe you'd have a chance to get one shot up. But like, if it was just regular guys, like the hypothetical is so funny.

Speaker 1 If you're playing an NBA team, you wouldn't be able to get the ball in. Like, you wouldn't be able to pay.
Maybe you because you're different, but like we wouldn't be able to get the ball inbounded.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true. Right.

Speaker 6 They'd be on you like white white on rice, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, we wouldn't. We literally wouldn't be able to pass the ball in with one guy standing in front of us and one guy guarding the other.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's a good way of putting it.

Speaker 1 That's intimidating itself, I guess. So, but in an NHL game, you'd just try to get into a fight.

Speaker 6 Yeah, but I've never, I mean, on skates, it'd be tough. I think I would just be around the blue line waiting for a slap shot, honestly.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Have you ever gotten to a fight in hockey?

Speaker 6 No, I mean, I stopped playing hockey when I was like eight years old.

Speaker 1 Okay. But you were really good, right?

Speaker 6 Yeah, I mean, J.J. JJ was on Team USA.
Derek was on Wisconsin AAA. I was about to be on.
I had my Wisconsin AAA jersey in like uniform, and then we stopped playing.

Speaker 1 Were your parents just like, I do not want to get up this early anymore?

Speaker 6 It was just too much, man.

Speaker 6 Hockey's a tough sport on the family just because JJ would be out of the country playing hockey at... 12 years old.
Derek would be in a different state. I would be.

Speaker 6 It was just pulling the family apart, and it got to be too tough.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and the smell of the hockey bags is something that parents

Speaker 1 It's brutal. It's really bad.
Do you think that the Watt brothers could take the Gronkowskis? Ooh.

Speaker 1 Take them where?

Speaker 1 Like in a fight. Yeah.
Like Battle Royale.

Speaker 6 I don't know. There's a whole lot of them.

Speaker 1 There is more of them. Five or six of them.

Speaker 1 Four or five. AF5.
Five. Five Gronks.
That'd be tough. I don't know.
I don't know, man.

Speaker 6 Isn't there like a new UFC where they have like five versus five?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Yeah, like in Russia, they do that.
Like team fighting? It's crazy. That's the most violent thing I've ever seen.

Speaker 6 We need to get two

Speaker 6 extra Watt Brothers when you guys could join in the fight with us.

Speaker 1 Yes. I'm thinking there with you.

Speaker 1 What's the one play in your NFL career where you look back and you're like, damn, that was sick?

Speaker 6 I don't know.

Speaker 1 Good question.

Speaker 6 Never, never really.

Speaker 1 I would think about like, oh, man, that was so sick when I did that.

Speaker 6 Never really thought of it.

Speaker 1 You had one.

Speaker 6 The touchdown was cool. We lost the game, so it's not that cool.

Speaker 6 I think sacking Tom Brady was cool. I think it was second or third year.

Speaker 6 Sack and Fitzpatrick fumble, recovering the fumble. I don't know.

Speaker 6 It's still waiting on like a big, a bigger play. I don't know.

Speaker 1 It was that touchdown. And then

Speaker 6 if you don't win the game, it's not. I know.

Speaker 6 If you save that game ball, it's like, all right.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Are you rooting for the Bengals? Or is it one of those things where it's like, they're in our division. I hate them no matter what?

Speaker 6 No, I mean, I respect I respect them for where they are.

Speaker 6 I mean, they were hurting, I think, only won a handful of games two, three years ago, and to be where they are now, it's a great model for the NFL to look at.

Speaker 6 And they've done some great things, and we weren't able to beat them this year, which obviously I'm not happy with, but I'm just rooting for a good game.

Speaker 6 I think I'll be on a flight during the game, so I don't know if I'll be able to watch

Speaker 1 the Super Bowl.

Speaker 6 If my brother isn't playing it and me or Derek isn't playing it, I've never been to a Super Bowl. That would be the only situation where I actually go.

Speaker 1 Huh.

Speaker 1 All right, so I had one last, well, I have two last questions. One is,

Speaker 1 can you at least make sure that Jim Leonards stays at Wisconsin? Was he, he, he was coaching when you were there, right?

Speaker 6 I think he, yeah, I think he was, that was the year he was the defensive backs coach for one year because I played under Dave Aranda, great coach, and then Justin Wilcox, who's also a great coach, and then Jim came in doing crazy things there.

Speaker 6 Defense is so good.

Speaker 1 I love him. I actually, because he was...

Speaker 1 He was, when I went to Wisconsin, he was playing. So, and he was one of my favorite players.
Punt returns and all that stuff. He's like the scrappiest, grittiest dude out there.

Speaker 1 So, you gotta, can you at least give money to that? Like, can we just get some money?

Speaker 1 We need help. This whole

Speaker 6 I need to visit. I need to go when I'm back in Wisconsin.
I need to go up there and I need to have a conversation.

Speaker 1 Do a rah-rah. Yeah.
And just throw my name. Be like, we make some sick shirts.
Yeah. Free rah-rah.
But we make, yeah. Like, I was talking to Big Cat.

Speaker 1 He's like, whenever you need a shirt, we're ready to go. Gotcha.
Gotcha.

Speaker 1 I could just see it right now, five years from now, when Wisconsin's just won its third national title. It's like how a dynasty was built on the back of cheap t-shirts.

Speaker 1 We're all holding them up.

Speaker 1 And run the damn ball hats.

Speaker 6 I love going to Coach Chris, but hey, what we need to do is we don't need to run the ball better. We don't need to play defense better.
We need to print some more damn shirts.

Speaker 1 Yeah, let's print some fucking shirts. I got to say, this six-star pre-workout explosion that I took, it's got me on the moon right now.

Speaker 6 What are you going to do about it?

Speaker 1 Attack my day.

Speaker 1 I'm going to. I'm going to attack the hell out of it.
You're going to be a while.

Speaker 6 You're either going to be sitting in a chair fidgeting all day or you got to do something with it.

Speaker 1 I'm going going to march directly into Dave Portnoy's office, and I'm going to tell him we've got a deal, and then I'm going to excuse myself and go work out. There you go.
That's my plan. No,

Speaker 1 my last question was,

Speaker 1 when we were bullying JJ like four years ago, five years ago.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 we kind of owned you because we bullied your older brother. Yeah, exactly.
We kind of became your oldest brother at that point. Wow.

Speaker 1 Sure he'll appreciate that.

Speaker 1 Were you like, I fucking hate these guys?

Speaker 1 Did you want to smack us around?

Speaker 1 Yeah, for a while there, I was like,

Speaker 6 I just didn't get the point of it.

Speaker 1 And I was like, there was no point. Yeah, like, I,

Speaker 6 totally, it was the point where, like, it was just like, no one talked about it. Like, no one talked about it.
We just knew it was there. And it was just something that you just expected to be there.

Speaker 6 No one talked about it.

Speaker 6 I am glad that you guys have a good relationship, though. He does, he really does admire you guys and talks highly of you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I like, it was, it's actually the perfect internet service because I obviously look back, I'm like, damn, we were kind of dicks, but like, getting to know JJ, we were. Yeah, we were.

Speaker 1 I mean, we are. 100%.
We are dicks, but like, it's never meant to be truly mean-spirited. But, and then, like, you know, becoming friends with JJ, it's like, JJ's a very, very good guy.

Speaker 1 And he's like, you know, it was, you know, it was like a peak of us being dicks.

Speaker 1 And also when JJ was on his like little Captain America run, where he thought he was like, you know, actually from a Marvel movie.

Speaker 6 Guy's famous, man.

Speaker 6 I mean, it's, it's crazy.

Speaker 6 That's like just walking around with him i've i've gone everywhere with him i've gone over to europe i've gone all these super bowl weekends just the lifestyle that he lives and the amount of people that recognize him is crazy and you like is it kind of nice that you don't have that level of like do you get recognized a ton outside of pittsburgh well not really and i i like that i don't i'm not searching for crazy fame i like kind of just the little life that i have yeah yeah yeah sorry for uh

Speaker 1 for basically owning your family there for a little bit there man we learned a valuable lesson though yeah was there a moment where you're like, if these guys show up, like, they'll probably kick our ass.

Speaker 6 You guys would kick our ass, yes, correct.

Speaker 1 Yes, that's never crossed the board. I said that correctly.
I said that correctly.

Speaker 1 Like, I hope they never come over here. Nerds, they'll kick all of our asses.

Speaker 1 Hey, DFT and Big Cat are going to pick up all the watts with the pre-workout from Six Star. Anything's possible.
All right. I have one last, last question.
I have to do this.

Speaker 1 Jersey Jerry, you got to FaceTime him. He's the biggest TJ Watts fan.
The mess.

Speaker 1 if he doesn't pick up that's it. Oh my god, he'll never forgive himself.

Speaker 1 No dishes, nothing.

Speaker 1 Oh no, no, Jerry.

Speaker 1 Oh my god.

Speaker 6 I told him.

Speaker 1 Wow, is this the new iPhone? Did you tell him the right time zone? Yes. Did he tell you he wanted to like come here? Yeah, I talked a little bit of that.
Oh my god.

Speaker 6 Crazy.

Speaker 1 That's bad. All right.
Well, maybe we'll get it on the like two minutes before you leave. Yeah.
But we can't do anything about that.

Speaker 1 He was so excited. He was, well, first he was mad.
He was mad.

Speaker 6 He's like, he's sleeping like Hank was?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Seriously.
He was like,

Speaker 1 he was like, you're having TJ Watt on without me? It's like, well, Jerry, you're not part of the show.

Speaker 1 And you're also not here.

Speaker 1 And then he was like, all right, well, I guess you can do it. Like, he gave me his approval.
But he loves you. He loves you.
He rides and dies for you. He's got stats on him all the time.

Speaker 1 Just so you know, he rolls around with stats in his head just in case somebody would say to him, like, I think Aaron Donald is the best defensive player in the NFL.

Speaker 1 He's like, actually, in the last two years, and he'll show

Speaker 1 every category that you beat Aaron Donald.

Speaker 1 He's like, he's constantly defending your name.

Speaker 1 He tries to trick people, too.

Speaker 6 He didn't pick up.

Speaker 1 I know. That sucks.
Maybe on your way out, but he tries to trick people all the time. He's like, who do you think is the best

Speaker 1 defensive player?

Speaker 1 If you say anything besides TJ Watt, he's like, well, that's interesting. That's awesome.
That's awesome.

Speaker 1 And he just fucking unloads the clip of stats on their face.

Speaker 6 I saw a couple of his videos. I don't know if the one was at the end of the Raiders game or something.
He was all laughing and giggly. He's got some good content.

Speaker 1 All right, so that will at least just that you're aware of him

Speaker 1 will make him feel good. He's got the nicest laugh in the world.
You can't hate a guy like that. All right, I'm going to try one last time and then it's over.
This is so sad.

Speaker 6 You know, after four rings, it ain't happening.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah. And I did tell him.
I've told him all week. I even said to him yesterday, I was like, hey, reminder, TJ's coming in.
Make sure you're ready. He's probably stuck on like the New Jersey Transit.

Speaker 1 He's going to blow the whole thing up now.

Speaker 1 He's like, what do you think about Camel Cross Enter?

Speaker 1 Maybe that's where he is. He's stuck on L.A.
traffic. Maybe he's stuck at Clancy's.

Speaker 1 Went down there for a little dance. All right.
Well, it's over. Sucks for

Speaker 1 Jerry. All right, maybe we'll do this.
You can just say, shout out Jersey Jerry to the the camera and give him a message, and we'll just clip that and send it to him. Yeah,

Speaker 6 shout out to Jersey Jerry. I hear you're a huge fan.
I just want to say thank you for all your support, man. I wish, I really wish you picked up your phone.
I hope something more important was there.

Speaker 1 All right, thanks, TJ.

Speaker 1 Awesome.

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Speaker 1 Okay, we're going to wrap up with Guys on Chicks.

Speaker 1 We were supposed to have Jersey Jerry on, but he had to go do something. Not his fault.
We'll have him on next week or the week after.

Speaker 1 It was funny, though. The TJ Watt FaceTime with Jersey Jerry.
I don't know if we did we record it that we could put it in the end of the interview. I can't remember how it all went down.

Speaker 6 No, I think he was like outside.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was right outside.

Speaker 1 So as we finished, Jerry finally called me back, and TJ was able to talk to him while Jerry was in his, he was topless. He's coming out of the shower.
He's wearing a towel.

Speaker 1 He had a towel on with one hand, and Jerry did a great job of ingratiating himself into TJ. I think they made plans plans to go out and get some dinner together at the end of the phone call.

Speaker 1 At Jerry's request.

Speaker 1 Well, Jerry was like, me, you and Pat Fryer both. We'll go out and get some dinner sometime.
Yeah. And TJ was like, sure, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, fine, whatever.
Can I get out of this room? No, they had a good conversation. It was actually cool to see Jerry's face because he just lit up

Speaker 1 seeing his hero. It's funny because, like, even though we are in our 30s, we still do have heroes who are like 15 years younger than us.
Yes. And this was one of those circumstances.
Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 1 Very, Very, very cool moment, like a make-a-wish moment for Jerry. We got to get him that dinner.
All right, let's do some guys on chicks. Then we'll send everyone on their way.
Reminder,

Speaker 1 Friday, we got a life episode two, Titus and Rosillo.

Speaker 1 And then on Monday, no show because it's Presence Day back on Wednesday. Bubba.

Speaker 1 Sup, PMT boys. I've been coerced into running a half marathon in less than two weeks.

Speaker 1 By far the dumbest thing I've ever done for a boy. And he happens to be a fellow AWL, so I really need to impress him.
Shout out Brian.

Speaker 1 He doesn't sound much like an AWL if his Valentine's Day request was head really liked to see you run far.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and that says, seeing how Big Cat pulled out the 5K so athletically, do you guys have any tips for me? Billy, any supplements I should be taking? Thanks. Oh, man.
This is a...

Speaker 1 I think you got to end this relationship right now.

Speaker 1 Unless this could be a situation situation where she's like a distance runner and she has done distance running before. And so he's seeing this as like a date.

Speaker 1 If you don't have any experience running long distances and your boyfriend is asking you to run a half marathon for him, break up. He sounds like the long distance runner.

Speaker 1 It sounds like runners date runners. That is like everyone, like they have to date each other because they go and run together and they do that shit.

Speaker 1 Like I don't, I can't think of many relationships where I've seen someone who's like, there's a runner and then there's someone who doesn't do anything. That doesn't exist.

Speaker 1 No, and why would you ever go on a date with somebody to a track or to a gym? You're just going to be around people who are in much better shape than you all the time.

Speaker 1 Relationship built off fitness, I don't think, are built to last.

Speaker 1 Because at some point,

Speaker 1 you're going to be out of shape. Well, and then what? You both have to be fitness freaks and then make TikToks together about like meal prep and shit.
That's true.

Speaker 1 RG3 and Greta's TikToks have been pretty lit recently. I think you just got to fake an injury, by the way.
Like, this is pretty easy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, training injury. It's winter.
Maybe you slip on some ice coming out of a bar. Like, just do it.
Do it without any, like, do it in front of him.

Speaker 1 But it doesn't have to be, you know, some big show. It just has to be, oh, whoops.
I fell down the stair. Oh, whoops.
I fell outside of a bar.

Speaker 1 Or you can just get registered for a different half mile than he's doing. Go out, buy the bumper sticker that says 13.1, put it on the back of your car, be like, yeah, I totally did it.

Speaker 1 You could hypothetically get hit by our car. Hypothetically.
Hypothetically, yeah. Uh-huh.
I was crossing the street with Bubba on Friday in L.A. He started

Speaker 1 screaming. Well, because

Speaker 1 I'm not trying to brag or anything, but I'm kind of a ballsy guy when I cross the street. And

Speaker 1 I sometimes forget I have other people with me. Sometimes I forget I have people who have been hit by cars with me.
So we were like halfway through the street and there was like three cars coming.

Speaker 1 And I was like, Bubba, come on, hurry up. And he didn't get hit again, but I could see in his eyes he was scared.

Speaker 1 Bubba was complaining for most of the week about how long the crosswalk signals are there. Like, you have to wait for a while.
I wouldn't want to move there just because of that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's like so impatient. Well, you know, Bubba.
It takes like five minutes across each street. Bubble likes to really get going.
Right. Cross that street sooner rather than later.
Right. What?

Speaker 1 So once every few years you get fucking mangled by a car? It's worth it. Only in New York.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hey, Dad Cat, PFD, Cometer, and Fu Manchu Billy. My boyfriend and I have been dating for four years, and lately he has been

Speaker 1 growing out his facial hair. hair.
However, I don't really love his mustache or beard as they can get quite patchy and itchy.

Speaker 1 I asked him to shave his face for Valentine's Day, and this led to a conversation about

Speaker 1 if a girlfriend should be able to ask if when

Speaker 1 their boyfriend can shave.

Speaker 1 You got it?

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude. Memes, memes pick ones that are way too long.
I usually pick the short ones. There's like three more paragraphs about like nothing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, I don't know. Apparently, the girl wants him to shave.
By the way, that's the easiest Valentine's Day gift ever. If this guy fucked that up, he's a moron.
Just shave.

Speaker 1 Just shave and it grows back. Just be like, every time, every time you get waxed, I'll shave.
Right. Boom.
Problem solved.

Speaker 1 All right. Next one.
Been hanging out with this guy for over a month and really like him. Only problem is he started using heart emojis over text in like one week.
Is this a red flag? Ooh.

Speaker 1 The heart emoji.

Speaker 1 Now,

Speaker 1 does that mean I love you or does that just mean like wait, is it

Speaker 1 it's a big question of is it heart heart emoji or is he like pressing the the thing and hearting it?

Speaker 1 Because I become a big I think at first I thought that was annoying, but then I realized that it's the greatest way to end a conversation to not reply with words and just heart something or exclamation point something or thumbs up.

Speaker 1 Yep. So if it's that, I'm down with it.
But if it's actual heart emoji, that seems weird. Do you ever fuck with the auto replies that Google suggests too? No.
I do that sometimes.

Speaker 1 I'll start typing something that are my own thoughts. I'll be like, wait, Google suggests that I just say this instead.
And I do the same thing on text message now.

Speaker 1 Half my vocabulary is now whatever Steve Jobs or Dan Google wrote up in the code and wants me to reply with. Yes.

Speaker 1 So to this question.

Speaker 1 I actually think it's very important, like, when, who drops the first emoji?

Speaker 1 Because everyone knows like a relationship whether it be a you know a sexual relationship or a friendship whatever it may be the first emoji is important because like either you're an emoji texter or you're not and you have to figure out like that line of like am i a texting with an emoji person or am i not i don't know that's a tough one heart emoji a weekend feels weird yeah i i don't have a problem with it i think as long as it's reciprocated it's not weird but if only one person in the text thread is using emojis, that's strange.

Speaker 1 I do the cry, I do the laughing cry face thing just so I don't have to type.

Speaker 1 So that's tricky, though, because the laughing cry face, there are like three different options of the laughing cry face, and I never know which one is appropriate because I don't want to do one that's too much laughing at not that funny of a joke.

Speaker 1 Oh, I like to make people feel good, just cry cry guy.

Speaker 1 Hardcore laughing cry guy. Yeah, that's like always the top of mind.
Yeah, because I just reply with his right. That and the skull.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're dead, bro. Yeah, I just texted you.
Who did this, fam? I'm going to kill you.

Speaker 1 Hi, BigCat, PFT, Billy, and Hank. My guy friend says it's weird that I brought seven pairs of underwear on a three-day trip and that anything more than four pairs

Speaker 1 is excessive. Most of my girlfriends do the same as me and subscribe to the what if I shit myself every day rule of packing.
Do guys not follow this rule? And if not,

Speaker 1 is overpacking like this excessive or no? Do you think girls shit themselves way more than guys do? It's just that we talk about it more. Yeah.
That's a possibility because like every time we do it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we talk, we announced

Speaker 1 on this podcast.

Speaker 1 As someone who on this recent Super Bowl trip that was like 10 days long, I ran out of clothes like four days in. So I'm a terrible, terrible packer.
I either pack way too much or way too little.

Speaker 1 I never nail it. Ever.
I always, I find myself always leaving out one item of clothing. Yep.
So sometimes it'll be socks. I'll pack everything else and I'll be like, oh shit, I forgot about socks.

Speaker 1 Forgot socks existed for a week I like to roll up a bunch of underwear and just toss it in I rarely count the amount of underwear that I bring but I can confidently say that I've never in my life packed double the amount of anything for any road trip before you you eyeball it we eyeball it yeah it's like all right I'm gone for five days I don't know six seven eight whatever sounds good I close my eyes I visualize my ass seven days from now and then I imagine do I have anything to put on my ass that day yes and if I don't then I throw another pair of underwear in there I also sometimes will do the I'll convince myself like, oh, halfway through, I'll just go to like a laundry mat.

Speaker 1 Never do. No.
But like if you go on a long trip and you convince yourself like, oh, I'll be fine. I'll just figure out a way to wash the clothes.
No, you don't. You'll just wear dirty clothes.

Speaker 1 I'm sure the hotel will have laundry. Yeah.
That never works. That's what I did for this last trip.
I was like, I'm gone for 10 days. I'll do some laundry at some point.
Didn't do that.

Speaker 1 Just wore dirty clothes for half the time. Yeah, we actually.
Yeah, MB did our laundry. MB was very good.

Speaker 1 MB hooked it up with a laundry service after we got done with the drive out there because I don't think any of us packed I barely packed enough clothes to get through the driving part of the trip I wore a bass pro sharp shirt every day just bought them all there that's true you look good though

Speaker 1 shout out

Speaker 1 Sup Thick Hat PFT Hank and Wild Bill my boyfriend and I have been dating for four years and we always do something special on Valentine's Day nothing fancy usually a nice dinner in a movie or something

Speaker 1 This year he said he had a big surprise for me. He made me put on a blindfold as we drove to the restaurant and when I took it off we were were at McDonald's.

Speaker 1 He had two land-errant seaburgers in front of us. I started laughing uncontrollably, but then realized he was being dead serious.
He loves McDonald's.

Speaker 1 Am I an asshole for thinking this was a joke, and what should I do to make it up to him? No.

Speaker 1 Do they have the ball pit in the play place there? Because if that was part of it, then I think he's cool. Ball pit is sick.
No, I don't think you should be mad at him.

Speaker 1 Actually, he's done a great job of somehow convincing you that you're in the wrong for being

Speaker 1 for thinking it was a joke right like this guy has you mentally twisted right now i'm i'm down with this it was very nice thought thought just is it not the thought that counts anymore i think it's like limited edition too right might be right that's true the land aaron seaburger is only gonna be there for like another week i can't i can't stand this when people say that it's the thought that counts well then count the thought It doesn't matter what the end product is.

Speaker 1 He set something up. He did something.
You know what actually is a really good Valentine's Day gift?

Speaker 1 And it might sound a little bit weird, but if you just go to the store, like a convenience store, and you get the person all their favorite snacks in the world, and you spend maybe like 20 bucks on it, but you get like every single chip that they like, every single piece of gum, every single candy bar and soda that they like or Gatorade, and you put in a bag for them, that's maybe the best gift ever.

Speaker 1 That's true. But doing small things, like taking them to fast food,

Speaker 1 you got to keep the small thing spicy sometimes. Yeah.
I like this move. Shout out this guy.
But it is very funny that she's like,

Speaker 1 should I feel bad about thinking it was a joke? Yeah. No, I think it sounds like you guys had a great time.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, last one. Hey, fellas, my boyfriend and I's love life is great, but lately he has become addicted to bonking me that it started to ruin my mood.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Anytime I try to say something sexy or try something new in bed, he immediately says bonk and starts laughing. Yesterday, I sent him an unsolicited nude, and he just replied with bonk.

Speaker 1 How can I get him to stop? See, this is what we've done as a society with the bonk. We've ruined everything.

Speaker 1 Not only have we ruined the times when people are actually horny in acceptable places to be horny, but also when people aren't horny at all, now they're getting bonked left and right.

Speaker 1 It's a bad problem that we have as a nation. I think it's funny.

Speaker 1 I don't bonk you anymore. I know.
Yeah, also, it's like you can't really get bonked when you're having sex. Oh, yeah.
That's actually what you're doing. Yeah, that's horny.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, no, that's the most bonk-worthy play.

Speaker 1 Like, oh, your dick is hard? You're going to put this in my vagina? Bonk.

Speaker 1 That is bonk. That's what he's doing to her.
Yeah. He's sending her to horny jail for sending a nude.
But that would be the.

Speaker 1 That would be the definition of bonk. Yeah.
I guess. Like, during.

Speaker 1 She's like, it seems like that's the appropriate place, though. She's like, I want to sit on your face.
And he's like, bonk. During sex, she's like, bonk.
You know what? They should actually.

Speaker 1 They should make a vibrator that looks like the horny stick. Yeah.
for chicks to use on themselves. Like you're fucking me too hard.

Speaker 1 You're bonking yourself

Speaker 1 with the dildo. You know, I think the bonk plays here.

Speaker 1 I just don't like the bonk at all. I think it's unacceptable.
I think it's sex shaming. Yeah.
We don't sex shaming. And sometimes it's not even sex shaming.

Speaker 1 It's just thought shaming. It's thought shaming.
You're thought policing me. Yeah, thought policing.
All right. 1984.
Numbers? Six.

Speaker 1 69. Oh, hell yes, memes.
I hope you get it.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go with 27. I'll go with 22.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 yeah, get excited. Friday's episode is going to be great.
Maybe a little less serious than the first one, but just as funny. And then we'll see everyone on the other side of President's Day.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Here we go. Numbers, numbers, numbers, numbers.
27, 27.

Speaker 1 71. 71 for everyone out there.

Speaker 1 Love you guys.

Speaker 1 talking away.

Speaker 1 I know what I'm to say I've saved anyway.

Speaker 1 Today's a night day to find you shy away.

Speaker 1 Oh, I've been coming for your love, okay.

Speaker 1 Hey,

Speaker 1 come on,

Speaker 1 come

Speaker 1 Needless to

Speaker 1 I'm all descendants,

Speaker 1 but be

Speaker 1 stolen away.

Speaker 1 Third and ever,

Speaker 1 life is okay.

Speaker 1 Take up to me,

Speaker 1 it's no better to save it time.

Speaker 1 Day,

Speaker 1 come on,