Bengals Evan McPherson & CJ Uzomah + Jimmy Tatro And Super Bowl 56 Picks & Preview

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, Super Bowl 56, we are finally here, ready to go. Preview, we're going to do our picks, we're going to do everyone's favorite prop.
We have CJ Uzama and Evan McPherson from the bengals in studio in our la studio and then we also because we didn't get any rams players we got uh ram super fan and very good friend of the program ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working nah neither has ariat ariat work jackets and boots are packed with all the cold stopping waterproof protection

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off your first order when you sign up for email and weather whatever in Ariat Work Gear. Boy! It's part of my take presented by Bristol Sports.
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Today is Friday, February 11th and it is officially time for Super Bowl 56. We're here.
Let's clap it up. Let's clap it up.
Last football Friday of the year, of the season, Bengals-Rams.

How are we feeling, everyone?

How are you feeling, PFT?

How are we feeling about, I think we both were in the same head space where it's like,

we like the Bengals, the Rams are really fucking good, but it's destiny.

The vibe check is just that, now I've reached the point of the week where I'm nervous about

saying, what if the Bengals just win all the time?

Yeah.

I've said it too much.

I don't and now i think that's a problem so the pendulum is swinging back and forth in my head all day every day i just i just would love to see the bangles that's all that's where i at right now. I don't think that's going to change.
I still think it's going to be like 24, 20 Cincinnati. Uh, but again, then you do the guy off and the Rams win the guy off in straight sets.
And I also, I've had a

couple moments where I'm like, Oh yeah, Vaughn Miller. Oh yeah.
Aaron Donald. I watched that

Aaron Donald, uh, pumping himself up before the super bowl a few years ago. It's like, that's just

a scary, scary man. And Aaron Donald, like I know it's a lot about Matthew Stafford, Joe Burrow.
Like Aaron Donald, if he wins a Super Bowl, if he wins a Super Bowl MVP, I mean, he's already a Hall of Famer, which is crazy to say. He's won eight seasons in, nine seasons in.
Like if he wins a Super Bowl and a Super Bowl MVP, he now is absolutely in the discussion for best defensive player of all time. Like I think I saw a stat where there's...
Oh, I go by win rates, so he already is the best. Yeah, but there's only been two or three guys who've been all pro eight out of the first nine years.
It was like Reggie White and Lawrence Taylor and Aaron Donald. I think there's one other, but it's a crazy list that he's already on, an exclusive, exclusive list.
And so, yeah, we're talking legacies here. Yeah, it's a legacy game.
And I think one thing I've been forgetting about this whole time is that, you know, we always talk about Sean McVay in that first Super Bowl. Scored three points on offense.
Not exactly what an offensive genius would do. But also, Zach Taylor was very involved in scoring those three points on offense, right? Well, so how do we judge this? Because I saw – there was also – I've been reading – I've been consuming all the Super Bowl material.
It's heavily influenced to a coach who's in his second Super Bowl versus a first-time coach. The second time for the coach, usually they do a lot better.
Do we count Zach Taylor already knowing what a Super Bowl feels like because he was there for that? I think you do. Or is it completely different because being a head coach is completely different.
You have to be in charge of everything. I think you do because he's older than McVay, right? So at that Super Bowl, he was young, but he was still older than McVay.
He was at his first. Now McVay is at his second.
Taylor's older, I think, by a year and a half. Yeah, so I feel like if you're going to count it for McVay, you have to count it for Taylor.
He's been through it before a little bit. But again, what he did in that Super Bowl was just trash.
It was just bad, just bad job all around. I'm at the point in this week where I just know now at this point that I don't know anything about what's going to happen.
Yes. I've read too many stats.
I've read too many articles. I've seen too many interviews with the guys.
There's too much information, and I've been confused by it. I feel like I'm dizzy with info, so I'm just going to go and revert back to what I had at the start of the week, which is the Bengals by four.
Yes. There is too much information.
You break it all down. There's a lot lot of things to look at i think it was uh the last time a first time in the super bowl uh head coach won it was mike mccarthy with the packers okay was like their first time his first time coaching a team to the super bowl i do like the fact that if sean mcveigh loses this game then he gets slapped with the can't win the big one label that's what we're looking at here.
Those are the stakes for McVay. It's like you can lose one and people can overlook it because it was against Tom Brady and that Patriots dynasty who, as Hank will tell you, just ended the Rams.
Destroyed them. Destroyed their dreams.
So badly they're back here. Yeah, but if McVay loses another one, then Hank can even say, yep, he really lost this game because he lost the first one.
Bingo card for PFT to work in a dig at the Patriots. No, I love it.
Bingo card PFT. This is what Hank thinks with something I don't think.
Hank's like a dog seeing a garage door open when PFT says something about the Patriots. He's like, wait, was that positive or negative? No, but the thing is Hank was nodding while I was saying it.
He agrees. I know Hank's brain pretty well.
You were. You were like, yeah, nailed it.
Patriots win. This is a Patriots Super Bowl.
It was a dynasty. That was a cemented dynasty.
I don't think they – they didn't end the Rams. They ended the Chiefs.
They ended the Ravens. They ended the Texans.
But if McVay becomes a guy that can't win a Super Bowl because he's so scarred from the Patriots beating him, I feel like that counts towards your legacy. Yes.
Yeah. Sure.
Okay, so should we do? But losing, no, that's actually disagree. Because losing to, like, losing to Bill Belichick in your first Super Bowl, like, no one expects you to win.
I don't think anyone's going to hold that against you. Losing to your assistant in your second Super Bowl when it's his first Super Bowl, that is way worse, and that will be the reason why the narrative is there.
It won't have anything to do with Belichick or the Patriots or Tom Brady. Yeah.
If he loses his game and loses to his former assistant, that's a much harder pill to swallow and much more storylines and narrative than losing to the greatest coach and greatest team of all time. There it is.
I want to correct myself, by the way. I was very wrong.
Bruce Arians, I think that was his first Super Bowl last year. Yeah.
Cardinals. Did he go on the Cardinals? No.
That was Wisenhunt? Yeah. He was on that staff, right? Arians? Yeah.
No, Arians was on the Steelers. That's right.
Yeah, so I was very wrong. So there you go.
So first-time head coaches, they're on a 1-0 streak. There's going to be plenty of people who tweet at you saying you're wrong.
Oh, yeah. The pause there.
Yeah, no, that's fine. Listen, I'm at the point now where time zone changes.
The Super Bowl week, we've been working a lot. My brain is complete mush.
You sound hoarse. I sound hoarse.
I do sound hoarse. What? I do.
Yeah. I sound hoarse.
What you been smoking?

What you been sucking on?

I've been smoking AB's fucking sick ass dank.

He's loud.

Yeah, he's loud. Did you ask him why he blocked me?

No, I should have.

I forgot to say that.

If I saw Kyler, I would ask Kyler why he blocked you.

I mean, I forgot.

So he did say shout out Barstools, though.

Barstools.

Barstools.

Did he pay his bill?

I left before him. Okay.
I wasn't sitting with him with him just for the record i was just smoking his weed because he has a blunt roller who just passes out weed wherever he goes uh the there's just an overload of information where i've consumed all this stuff and now it's just been blended in my brain yeah so everything i spit back out is like half truce yeah no that's what super bowl week is because there's so many interviews the The guys have to talk to the media like every day. There are articles written by people that usually don't write about football.
And then you just get too much shit. Half of it's not true in the first place mushed into your brain.
And then the ball that you end up puking up at the end of the week like a hairball is just like filled with dog shit. So I think I'm reverting back fully to I'm resetting my brain.
I'm doing a hard reset what i felt on monday morning yes i'm gonna stick with that and i'm gonna stick with the bangles but yeah no it's um also doug peterson like four years ago and gary kubiak in super bowl 50 so like it's literally every single time and pete carroll uh and john harbaugh and mike So there's been one, two, three, four, five first time coaches go to the Super Bowl that have won since what I said was the last one and Mike McCarthy. You know what? You know what? More than it's basically Bill Belichick has won Super Bowls and then all first time head coaches won Super Bowls.
But that's where I'm at right now, too, is just like you could say any stat or piece of information and I'm not going to fact check it right now. I take everything as gospel.
You can tell me anything. It sounded good coming out of my mouth.
It really did. You're like, yeah, this is the first time actually, a team has played a Superbowl in their home stadium.
I'm looking at it right now. It's so, it literally is just the last 20 years.
If a coach gets to the Super Bowl their first time,

they win unless they're playing Bill Belichick.

It's Bruce Arians, Doug Peterson, Gary Kubiak, Pete Carroll,

John Harbaugh, Mike McCarthy, Sean Payton, Mike Tomlin,

Tom Coughlin, Tony Dungy, John Gruden,

and then Bill Belichick the first time he won. All of them.
All of them. Literally all of them.
Every first time head coach playing a Super Bowl wins. God damn it.
So now the Bengals. I feel even better about the Bengals.
Now the Bengals. My Bengals pick looks great.
I also didn't know that Zach Taylor is married to Mike Sherman's daughter. Oh.
There's nothing coaches love more than marrying another coach's daughter. That's like their favorite thing to do.
That's a weird one. Yeah.
Also, his brother's name is Press.

Press Taylor?

Yeah, he's a coach.

He was a coach on the Eagles.

I don't know where he is now.

Sounds like a celebrity gossip blogger.

Press Taylor.

Press Taylor, yeah.

Yeah.

Good guy.

All right, so should we do our picks?

Yeah, he is a good guy.

We met him in Indy.

You met him in Indy, too.

I forget Press.

I feel like I remember Press.

Yeah, we met Press in Indy.

We met Press at a combine a few years ago. Very good guy.
I think that's his name. What if he just made that up? Yes, it is.
He's coach at the Jacksonville Jaguars. He's the offensive coordinator now.
Because he was with Doug Peterson at Philly, so that makes sense that he would follow him to Jacksonville. It would, yeah.
Yes, Press Taylor. Love it.
What a name. Okay, do we want to do our picks? Yeah.
Oh, should we quickly just say, do we care about home field advantage? The Bengals are the home team, right? Right, but there's the – so the storyline I have consumed is, obviously there's not going to be a home field advantage in terms of fans because the Rams, you know, even in the NFC Championship game, there's a lot of 49er fans. But in terms of they get to sleep in their own bed.
I even read someone made the argument that the Rams, since they've played, I think, 13 games in SoFi Stadium this year, counting preseason, they are going to be well-equipped with where the clocks are located. Aren't they located in the exact same place in every stadium? You would think that, PFT.
Nuh-uh. I guess they're in a different spot at SoFi.
Okay. So it's like, it's kind of a thing.
So the game clock. The Rams home stadium isn't even really their home stadium.
I know. They basically, well, they're landlords.
They have a tenant. I think the bang, it's actually good for the Bengals because they're practicing at what UCLA? Yep.
And so they're playing, practicing at a, at a college facility is a major upgrade to what they normally do during the week and probably have better equipment that they're using yeah better weather better equipment and their their locker room is the Chargers locker room so it's not like a downgrade whatsoever right and it has yeah it's pristine it hasn't been used in at least a month in a long time so um all right so I guess we don't care about the home field advantage thing no okay I just wanted to throw that out there just because it's going to be discussed at some point watch out for that clock oh uh also we should talk about the guy that billy and jake ran into today when they were out on their little muscle beach excursion what an all-time celebrity encounter in la yeah it was a legend we uh we did our little workout videos are on twitter people are o Olympians on Twitter in the replies. Listen, you got to – When you preface it by saying we did our little workout, I think that tells you all you need to know about the quality.
As someone who's done more athletic things this week than I have done in like four years on camera, you quickly remember that every single person that follows you is a former Division I athlete who's in insane shape. Well, Hank and I did the treading water challenge today for 15 minutes, and then Stephen Che replied to it, and he goes, sorry, I'm not trying to be the best at exercising.
I play real sports. Yeah.
It's like, what real sport does Stephen Che play? No, he doesn't. He doesn't play real sports, and in fact, it's not, I would say the realest sport is basic survival basic survival, which is what treading water is.
It's literally like, can you survive in the water? Absolutely. So that's the realest sport you can get.
That's fair. So we did our workout, and then we rented a scooter, went over to the Santa Monica Pier, grabbed some lunch, grabbed a picture by the water.
That's beautiful. Wait, did someone else take it of you guys? Yeah.
And then I took a picture of Jake and I having lunch. The food and Jake crossed the table from me.
We went live on Instagram and Twitter. And then our ride back, we were live on Twitter.
We just see Coach O. And did you yell at him? Yeah, we said Coach O.
And what did he say? He's like, hey. Did you say, pardon my take? Well, at that point.
Did you say, hey, we know Big Cat and PFT too? Well, he kind of started walking away. We were live, so we didn't want to, like, show the camera on him.
We're going to have to do a little lesson maybe in the off-season. We were on the news, though.
Separately. When you see Coach O walking by, that's, like, a more impressive public sighting than Bigfoot.
You should have gone out and interviewed him. Well, again, we'll review the tape.
I'll review the tape. We'll get in the film room.
He looked like he wanted to be left alone. Yeah, but that's, you know.
He was with his girlfriend. But you also know if you had said like, hey, we're on part of my take, he'd be giving you a giant hug.
And he probably was with Derek, who's our friend, who would know who you guys are. He was not with Derek.
Who was he with? A lady. Nice.
Nice. There we go, Coach go coach hopefully she posts the picture that they were taking because we're in the background on the scooter waving that's all they're taking the photo we'll see you know what I'm gonna follow her Instagram page just to see just for also a few pictures just so that she gets well you've been around for been around for a while.
Well, so it gets like in my algorithm. Right, right.
So that shows up on the first YouTube stories, too. By the local news.
A reporter was asking us our thoughts on local crime in Los Angeles. What did you say? I said.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
Billy. I said subscribe to part of my tank.
He's going to be like. It actually isn't as bad.
It actually isn't as bad as it's been described. L.A.
has actually been way better than I was told it would be. Yeah, L.A.
is – listen, I love the weather in L.A., but it also makes people soft out here. I think we can agree on that.
How the hell would anyone get work done? Because they're already soft. I like being a little bit upset.
I like good cities that have a little bit of edge and anger to them. Cities like Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Philadelphia.
I like the fact that everyone's a little bit pissed off all the time. Out here, it's too easy.
I'm not even saying it's a bad sports town. I'm saying I would be a bad sports town if I lived out here too.
It's not your fault. I wouldn't care.
You're just being coddled by God and handed 75 degree days every single day. Although I would freak out.
We're staying in West Hollywood and the hills right above us with these houses every time it rains I would just be like alright well I'm about to slide off this hill. There goes my house.
Do you know what Cocho's girlfriend's name is on Instagram? Nope. I don't.
We're not going to say it.

I do. I know her first name.
But yeah. It could have been a learning lesson, but give him a take.
We'll review the take. Those are content opportunities that we can maybe start to capture a little bit.
But it's not a win or a loss. It's more like, let's go watch the All-22.
I'm just going to follow every Brandy on Instagram. There we go.
Just for research. We were whipping, though.
10 out of 10, definitely rent one of those two-person scooters for the boardwalk. Nice.
Did you feel like it was GTA? Yes. I said that like 12 more times.
Of course you did. Low-key.
I got .1 stars. Low-key, kind of GTA out here.
All right, let's do our picks. I asked everyone to have a prop pick as well.
So give your game pick, prop pick, and then Vincent, who has been our sound guy all week,

we will have him come give a pick too.

If he gets hot, he's just going to have to start giving us picks for every game.

That's just how it works.

I'll start with you, Jake.

Just final score and a prop?

No, just whatever.

Total or what are you betting?

Just so people know.

I mean, the prop is obvious. It's Scorgami on the barstool sportsbook at plus 1400 um so gotta be aligned and take 32 26 bengals that would be a scorgami so double whammy there and the over and the over I love it.
Yeah. Okay.
So MVP, Sam Hubbard, game-winning strip sack.

Runs it back.

Love it.

Love it.

Plus. And the over.
And the over. Love it.
Yeah. Okay.
So MVP, Sam Hubbard, game-winning strip sack.

Runs it back.

Love it.

Plus $17,500 on the Barstool Sportsbook.

That exact sequence?

Oh, no, him winning the MVP.

Yeah.

Because of a game-winning strip sack.

Okay, Billy.

Bengals, Moneyline.

Okay.

Ballsy.

Joe Burrow, MVP.

Not ballsy.

I love it. Just laying it out there.
I want to see the bangles win and joe go off okay okay pft i'm taking bangles with points same i don't think i'm going to take bangles money line and um my prop i'm thinking first accepted penalty type of the game maybe you guys can help me narrow it down because i i've got it down to within two i'm thinking either offsides yep or pass interference i think offsides offsides to me because you're gonna have some guys on the edge yep that are feeling like they got to get home and it's a big moment especially if the bengals start with the ball yeah and they're like all right we already know that like this pass rush is going to be a problem we We're trying to get a little extra jump here. Oh, so you're saying false start.
Oh, false start, yes. Is false start on there? False start's a different one.
I was thinking about false start, too, because you could see a jumpy tackle scooting back up. Let's put up to a vote.
What do we think? False start or offsides? What about holding, though? No, holding's a pussy. No, but holding is like a big hit.
It's only plus 275. Aaron Donald, the first couple ties.
There's no value in holding. Oh, tackles.
False starts are more common. What's false start at? False starts plus 450.
Offsides is plus 550. I feel like you get better odds with false start.
You want to go false start? Yeah. What's holding? Because both defensive lines are good.
There's way more false starts than offsides in the game. I'm not a math guy, but that's what it feels like.
Here's how it's going to happen, because I had an apparition where I was thinking to myself about, I was trying to imagine, what does this look like? What's the first penalty going to be? And it was one of those plays where the guy comes off the edge hard and the tackle jumps before the ball is snapped. It's all going to depend on whether or not they call.
Two points first. Was he induced? Two points first.
So as far as the pointing goes, I feel like, yeah, there are some savvy veterans. All defensive ends in this game are vets.
They'll know to point. Just point right at them.
So, okay, false start plus 450. I like it.
It's a lock. I like it.
All right, so my prop, I'm taking the Bengals as well. My prop is first penalty offsides.
No. All right, so, yeah, I'm taking theengals with the points my prop is joe burrow over 36 and a half pass attempts so it doesn't have to be completions i look back four out of the last five games he's hit over that number i also all the store everyone knows like when when it becomes i love the super bowl because obviously everyone has opinion.
You talk to anyone. What do you like? When just a casual conversation is how are the Bengals going to block the Rams? Like, everyone is talking about that because it is the biggest – probably the biggest mismatch in the game in terms of the Bengals offensive line versus the – I was looking it up at the Bengals offensive linemen.
Individually, each rank, like, very, very badly. And then as a unit, very badly.
And then you have Aaron Donald and Vaughn Miller and all these guys. I think that's actually in a weird way a benefit to the Bengals knowing that going in because they got sacked nine times against the Titans.
Obviously, the Chiefs defense isn't as good as the Titans. They got sacked once against the Chiefs.
It's going to be Joe Burrow getting the ball out as fast as possible, like quick passes, making sure that like, because that's the big thing. Like what do we say when Tom Brady, when he knows he's going to be, you know, there's going to be pressure? He gets the ball out in like one second.
You can't even get to him. So I think it's going to be a lot of quick passes, a lot of Joe, like the Rams will be able to stop the run because they can have stopped the run all year so i think joe burrow will have for them the bangles to win joe burrow has to pass the ball 40 times and if you want to even go the reverse and say the bangles are losing joe burrow will have to pass the pass a lot i like it a lot and it could be a benefit almost like if your line sucks so bad right everyone is talking about how bad they are your screen game is probably going to be pretty effective because you'll be able to let the

guys pass you.

Right.

And they won't do the thing where they're like, wait, this was too easy.

It's a screen.

And in the middle of the play, they'll be like, no, this is what we saw on tape.

They literally can't block us.

And it's not even completions.

It's just a test.

And it's very similar.

Like I was thinking about it.

It's like similar to the SEC championship game when the whole conversation, I bought

into that and I was an idiot. How is Bama going to block Georgia? And it's like, well, they won't.
They'll just pass it so fast that they don't have to. And like move guys around and give them different looks and a lot of screens and a lot of quick shit that like that's – if you know it going in that you can't block them, you would hope that Zach Taylor and I do hope – I think he will do this.
The game plan will be, let's not try to block them. Let's try to just beat them quickly.
There are two types of coaches. One that will, a smart coach who will do what you're talking about.
Right. Just the game plan.
And then there's the other type of coach. I would put like John Gruden into this camp who would just show the offensive line film of them getting their ass beat over the last three weeks and be like you guys you guys got to take some pride in your blocking ability because we're going to depend on you this week and try to use that as a motivational tactic and then have them absolutely get their asses kicked yet again and Joe Burrow is the type of quarterback like he's going to he will like stand in there obviously but he also will you know use his mind and and make quick reads and all that stuff so i i like that bet a lot yeah um the thing is like i don't think i've ever won a bet on the completion on the over and completions and it's not completions no attempts yeah that's what i meant because nice part because i never bet on that yeah because the number's always so high i know i look at it i'm like 36 that's a lot of throws four out of last the last five times.
The only time he hasn't done it in the last five games is against the Raiders, who they had kind of a comfortable lead throughout the game. Hank.
Okay. The game I don't feel great about.
I'm going to take the Bengals as well, but probably not for nuclear missile. Yeah, no game of the year for this one.
I don't feel strong enough. Are you going plus sign hunting or are you taking Moneyline? Moneyline.
I mean, Moneyline Dogs, it's the last Moneyline Dog of the year. They've done me well this year, and I just, you know, out of loyalty to the Dogs, I'm taking them.
We're going to go to Washington State tonight against Arizona. Sure.
Well, yeah, maybe not. But probably wait until we're in Louisiana.
Yeah, true. I like the – I like to get my reps.
We have a lot. I am – so my point being, the reason I said that is said that is because I'm gonna you know sprinkle a little bit on the money line and then just go crazy with props have a crazy prop prop night just you know prop hunting yeah just be careful I wanna this is a PSA not to you Hank but to everyone out there when you put in all your props also bet early because all the gambling sites have crashed the last few Super Bowls so make sure you get your bets in early when you put in all your props, also bet early because all the gambling sites have crashed the last few Super Bowls, so make sure you get your bets in early.
When you put in all your props, take one last look right before, because I've done this many Super Bowls, where all my props, I have like 15 props, and they're all correlated on one game outcome. And then that game outcome doesn't happen, and I lose everything.
So if you think the Bengals are going to win and you do all your props around that, make sure you sprinkle in a couple of Rams might win props. No, these are fun props.
The Bar Sportsbook has good ones. I'm going to rattle through all the ones I have, and then my last one is my lock prop of the year.
What? I can't believe the odds in it. I'm probably going to put all the money I bet and then just put it all on the prop.
Hank, prop wood. I'm tweeting it right now.
All right, so these are the other ones I'm betting. This is the doink prop.
Any field goal or extra point attempt to hit uprights or crossbar plus 405, give me that. Match to end with a score, Gomi, obviously.
Any offensive lineman to score a touchdown? Wait, we're doing one prop. No, but Hank's got a lot of it.
The lock's at the end. He's giving out all the ones for fun that he's also going to bet on, but the one at the end is the one that's guaranteed the winner.
Those are the ones. This is the lock prop of the century.
I don't know how this is mine. I'm saving to year.
Give me a year. No, he said century.
It's crazy. It's insane.
Literally, I can't comprehend it. You guys are probably going to tell me something that's going to maybe burst my bubble.
Okay. Opening kickoff to result in a touchback.
Yeah. Minus 112.
I love it. I love it.
Yeah. The Bengals win the flip.
Kick Pearson's going to kick it, like, out of the stadium. Well, they're going to defer.
Okay. The Rams are going to – Both teams defer.
Right. You're right.
You're right. You're right.
An insane amount. You're right.
That's true. But – Wait.
So hopefully the Rams... No, you want the Rams to win the coin flip and defer.
Okay, wait. Let's back it up then.
Because that means that the Rams are going to call the toss. Other way, yeah.
And the Rams are going to lose the coin toss. You want the Bengals to win the coin toss and defer.
And then they have to kick to the ranks. Which, by the way, has anyone ever fucked that up? I think someone has.
I remember someone flag football in intramurals in college where they didn't understand defer. We got the ball twice and they were so mad.
I was like, learn your fucking rules, dude. It was in the NFL a couple years ago.
Some team said, like, we want to receive. Yeah.
I think it was Hasselback for some reason. Yeah.
No, that was, we'll take the ball and we're going to score. They threw a pick six.
That was a major cap. But yeah, lock of the century, that's going to be a fun one.
It's going to be an exciting way to start the Super Bowl. Oh, man.
Just rooting for it. I mean, all the adrenaline.
All the adrenaline. It's the Super Bowl.
It's the most electric hand signal in sports.

Yes.

One of these.

Yes.

Okay, look at that.

Like, I think it doesn't even matter if it's the Rams kicker.

It's still going through the end zone.

Okay, I'm going to look up some stats.

I'm only going to tell you positive stats.

Okay.

Let's do Liam's picks, and then we'll do Vincent's picks while I look up positive stats.

What if the Bengals have to kick off, and they just say, fuck it, and they do onside kick to start the game? That would be disappointing. Mac Gay has a touchback rate of 63.7 this season.
That's good. Yeah.
And then Cincinnati has 59.7. Oh, no.
60.4. That's still good.
That's still good. Yeah, it's, more likely than.
And also, you have to take into account there are probably a couple times this season where they've tried intentionally to do a squib kick. Also, you're not factoring an adrenaline.
Yeah, adrenaline. Those are.
No, I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it.
No, adrenaline is okay. I might have to play devil's advocate.
Yeah, Billy, you know, you're going to say the same thing. Adrenaline from the kick returner.
Yeah. Being like, I'm a fucking hero, Devin Hester.

The guys want to bang.

They've been amped up.

Right.

Weak off.

But let's not.

That was just us saying, look, there's a different world where we could, like, an alternate upside down world where this prop could lose.

No.

But it's not going to.

No.

We're just telling you that we're not going to the upside down world.

My Super Bowl will be made or broken after the first kickoff. And that's exciting.
Oh, tails too. Oh yeah, that goes without saying.
Tails and then the over on the national. That's a 50-50 though.
This is a 60-40. Yeah, that's true.
It's great value. One thing Billy's forgetting is that the kick returners are going to be amped up, so they'll be nervous and more likely to have it bounce off them.
They'll drop it in the end zone. They'll just take a knee.
No, these are professional. No, I'm saying then they take a knee.
These guys are amped. These are big games.
These guys are biting at the feet. Yeah.
They're not going to muff the kick. Did you know they were pros when you made that pick? I did.
Okay. These are professional.
The way I have it mapped out in my head, I've done some studying and some analysis and some projections. Do you know who's receiving the kicks? It doesn't matter.
In my projections, both kicks are going through the uprights into the end zone. They're not going to have a chance to kick it.
Think about it. If you're a kicker, this is your Super Bowl.
You get to kick off for the Super Bowl. You've never been more excited.
They're not going to going to touch the ball. Exactly.
It's going to go out of the back of the end zone.

I agree with Hank.

This is, I would say it's more of a lock of a century, but we'll stick with decades.

What's the wind?

What's the wind?

It's indoors.

Well, it's actually technically not.

We learned that this year.

Remember?

It's like not.

Yeah, but it went.

It's an open air.

Wind-wise, it's indoors.

There might be a wind tunnel.

There's like open.

That's just for lightning.

Yeah, but there's like open.

Whatever. There's no wind.
Oh, no. No, no, no, Jake.
Yeah, no, I was thinking this. Jake, no.
I want to be up front with Hank. Okay.
Just with the stats. Okay.
Tell me just to ignore the stats. I already tweeted it.
It's happening. We're betting it, Hank.
Don't worry. I'm riding with you.
You've ridden with me. If it's weather, we already know it doesn't fucking matter.
No, it's something else. It's return rate.
Yeah, yeah. Wind doesn't exist.
Okay. I have a take on why this might be a thing.
Okay, shit. Eight of the last ten Super Bowls have not been a touchback.
That's good. It's due.
Yeah. That's good.
Right. Yeah.
I'm just being up front. That's history.
Haven't the rules changed since then? Not recently. I kind of want to say that for a lot of people, this is their first football game they've watched all year.
So honestly, for the NFL product, they don't want it to start in a thing that the play stops, and then you have everyone asking, NFL rigged. NFL rigged.
No touchbacks on the first play. Yeah, they want the game to start with action.
Goodell, bro. He's the puppet master.
Let's do Liam, your pick, and then we get Vincent's, and we'll do a quick, quick NBA. Quick.
I just can't have us all take the Bengals. I'm going to go Rams.
Oh, I like it. You know what? You need someone because we can't all lose.
Yeah, this way they can't do the graphic where it has all the logos under it. And I'll do OBJ for MVP.
Ooh, spicy. Has he had the baby yet? Let's see.
Vincent, give us your background in football knowledge. Big football fan? No, I mean, I love playing it, but as far as following it, it's pretty limited.
That's awesome. That's such a cool thing to say.
That's as cool as it can get. Yeah.
You know, learned a lot from listening to you guys and stuff like that. No, you didn't.
No, you did not. That's so bad.
Did you hear the whole part where I screwed up the stat in the worst way possible with the coaches? I did, but I guess it maybe went over my head or something. No, it was not a bit.
I'm an idiot. Oh, yeah.
I don't know. It sounded good to me.
Okay. Okay.
Okay. So I'll say for the Rams with the flip, Second half lead for the Bengals.

Wait, what is this?

As far as my predictions.

Rams win the flip.

Rams win the flip.

And then in the second half, the Bengals are still leading.

Okay. And then I'll say

a 28-17 for the Bengals.

Alright!

The Bengals, Moneyline, Vincent, who's been with us.

Wait, one last thing, Vincent. How would you rank our operation and total vibe? Oh, it's great.
I would say 100%. Yeah.
Okay. Do we have any energy vampires in the room? Energy vampires? What's an energy vampire? Like someone who just sucks the energy out of the room.
Oh, no, no. Not at all.
No one? He's looking at Billy. Not that I've seen.
Oh, build it. I'm a hype squad.
Yeah, you want to tease it?

What was your favorite

interview that we did this week?

O'Connell.

He was great.

Oh, okay.

Well, everyone heard that.

What about one that we

haven't aired?

Oh.

We haven't aired any of them

except O'Connell.

Burt was great, too.

Okay, Burt Kreischer.

Yep, coming up.

Yeah, that's a good one.

He was super funny.

All right, that's a great tease.

That was actually an

incredible interview.

That's going to probably

be in a couple weeks.

All right, Vincent,

thank you very much.

Appreciate it. Shout out to you, Vincent.
Football player. We got a real football guy.
Okay. I'm going to start saying that.
I don't watch football. I'm too busy playing it.
Yeah, I just enjoy playing it more. All right, let's do a quick NBA trade.
The big three in Brooklyn is no longer. I saw the stat.
It's very, very funny. Kyrie Irving, Kevin Durant, and James Harden ended up playing 16 total games together.
It was like 350 minutes. 13-3, though.
13-3. Traded James Harden, which shout out James Harden because it was like maybe 10 months ago where he's like, I really regret how I handled myself at the end of theston days and then he just did the basically the same thing at the end of the brooklyn days where he the only thing he did different was he told woge he didn't want to complain so if but if he were to complain he'd say he won a trade well and also he didn't get fat this time yeah he didn't put on weight he should have he should have he should have gotten fat that was the best part of his last trade you're right.
He did not request a trade because I think Woj's report was James Harden would like to clarify that he's not asking for a trade because he doesn't want to be perceived poorly for requesting a trade. It's basically when I tweeted the airlines for myself and I'm like, I would never complain to an airline, but if I were to, this is what I would say.
It's the Russell Wilson trade request. Yes.
But in the NBA format. And now he's going to Philadelphia.

Simmons is going to Brooklyn.

And this could be

the rare occasion where both teams lose a trade.

It could completely blow up.

I disagree. I think the Nets got the

better end of the deal. I disagree.

You disagree? I think both teams won.

In a weird way. Because Ben Simmons was never going to play

for the Sixers. Yep.
So they had

to get something for him. They got

a player in James Harden

who, if he is healthy, is the perfect

Thank you. weird way because Ben Simmons was never going to play for the Sixers.
Yep. So they had to get something for him.
They got a player in James Harden who, if he is healthy, is the perfect fit with Embiid. And now, like, we know how the NBA works.
You have to have top-end guys to win a title. It's not like a rocket science.
You have to have anywhere between – you have to have probably a top-five guy and a couple – like, two top-ten guys total. Embiid's a top- five guy.
He might even be the best player in the NBA right now. And James Harden's a top ten guy if he's healthy.
So they have, like this is now title or bust, and they absolutely, I could absolutely see them winning the title this year. So I think, I was telling Hank about this earlier when the trade went through, but between Harden and Embiid, you basically get like a three-month period with James Harden where he can truly be happy in any environment before he starts to hate something about his life.
And so this might be a good example of, okay, he's got like three, four months where he can be in Philadelphia. His game does complement Embiid's game perfectly.
And then like right after he would get to the finals and maybe potentially win a championship, then he requests another trade. I think he's a free agent at the end of this year, correct? So are they going to extend him? They'll probably give him a max, which will be hilarious because he'll be making like $65 million when he's like 37 years old.
Yeah, and then Ben Simmons. I feel like the Nets could be the right place for Ben to be because he doesn't have to shoot.
Well, if you go back last year, the All-Star game, when they were picking their teams, Kevin Durant did say, I'm mad because LeBron just picked the guy I wanted, Ben Simmons. Yeah.
A little precursor. Ben Simmons was never going to play for the Sixers again.
I still think he's talented. There's clearly something mentally that's not there.
It doesn't all click. But yeah, if you put Ben Simmons with Kyrie Irving and Kevin Durant, those guys are so fucking good that they will find it.
And Kevin Durant is so basketball smart. I feel like they'll find a way to at least make him useful.
I do think the Nets, it did feel, it actually all from the Kirk Goldberry interview we had last year, where the Nets had won, what, they swept? No, they won in five against the Celtics, or did they sweep the Celtics? They swept the Celtics, and then they won in five, and then we had had them on after they were up 2-0 against the Bucs, and from that moment forward, essentially everything fell apart. Like,rie got hurt.
James Harden got hurt. Joe Harris lost all his juice.
Then this season started. Kyrie didn't get vaccinated.
James Harden got hurt. Kevin Durant got hurt.
Like from that point where Kirk Goldsberry, I'm not, I love Kirk, but he did say they're the greatest team of all time. And from that point on, they have not done anything.
And actually by winning percentage, they might've been the best team of all time when they were all playing together. Like right behind that Bulls team, right? We've got to have them back on and be like, dude, we'll have them back on after football's over.
We'll have them back on. I don't think that you can find two more opposite players being traded for each other at the same time.
And it's crazy. I don't know.
Ben Simmons, where has he been practicing? Has he been practicing has he been staying away from all all baskets all the time i don't know uh but i i feel like going to a team where you have guys that love to shoot and love to score he's the perfect guy for the you know the counter example to it's just one ball right it's just my ball he's a guy who's like yes you can have the ball all you want i will play defense i will get the ball back for you then i will pass the ball to So, yeah, I mean, it makes it interesting. I think the...
I saw it and I was like, ooh, that's pretty good for both teams. I think the Sixers become a real, real threat now.
I'll clarify. I don't think...
And watching Philly fans turn on James Harden will be funny. Yes, no, absolutely.
And also when Ben Simmons has to go back there, I think March 10th, mark your calendar. I don't think necessarily it's going to be bad for both teams.
I think it's going to be either really good for both teams or really, really, really bad for both teams. But it's also one of those trades that they had to do it.
Ben Simmons was not going to play for the Sixers. James Harden was clearly not happy and wanted to be traded.
So it's like, get what you get. And also the Nets, I think they got two first round picks back, which they had had to trade a bunch to the Rockets for James Harden.

And they got Seth Curry.

And they got Seth Curry.

And Ben Simmons still has four years.

Like, you know, I don't know.

I still believe in Ben Simmons.

Roan, real quick.

Real quick.

We're literally talking Ben Simmons real quick.

Our guy, Angelo Palantonio.

Rone, we're literally breaking it down.

Just give us the quick breakdown from a Philly perspective.

How are you feeling?

We just needed to do it.

Ben Simmons was not playing.

We needed to do something.

We weren't going to just do nothing and just sit around.

It would be a waste of a year, and James Harden might not be it.

We might wind up paying him $60 million when he's 38 years old. That's what I just said.
But at the same time, if you win a championship, isn't that kind of what you're paying for? You know what? You're all in. We're all in, dude.
The 76ers are all in. Dude, we're about to complete the process, dude.
I think we're about to complete the process. I don't know.
I think it's funny how Joel Embib like immediately posted that he's so good at twitter yeah i don't know how he got this good but like the meme that he put up of the like i just i stopped by my biggest haters funeral to stun on him one last time right after simmons left he's gonna be so happy and the thing is like i was thinking about nba and just the the players in general today feels like nobody no players are happy in the n one's happy. Like, Joel Embiid is probably the happiest he's ever been because he's no longer the most unhappy guy in the world having to play with Ben Simmons.
Pat Beverly's happy. He might not.
Is he? Yeah, because he got that fucking dig on Russell Westbrook. I think Pat Beverly's happy when he's the most pissed off.
That makes him happy. That dig was a piss off.
He basically reused Russell Westbrook's quote against him and was like, he's just a magician. He's doing nothing.
He's just running around. But everybody gets what they want.
You can be unhappy and you'll wind up getting moved. And the Sixers picked up James Harden's option for next year so they're paying him $47 million.
My bold prediction is they'll trade him before next season is over to another team. Win a ship and then move off him and save the money.
That's what I'm saying. You get like a three- to four-month window where James Harden is pumped to be in your city.
He will embrace everything about your city for three months, and then he's going to find something to get pissed off about. But that could work.
It's good that you made this move now and not three months ago because then he would be pissed off by the time the playoffs rolled around. Do you want know my bold prediction but it's not good give it to me i think james harden and joel and beat are going to be fucking insane together and they're going to go on a tear and then joel and beat's going to get injured at like the end of march why would you say i i told you i didn't want to say this but i had a thought i was like it's gonna be why would you put that it's gonna be beautiful it's gonna be beautiful basketball why would you even introduce that those thoughts into the world because it's like also perfect for daryl mori like his entire reputation of being like like it he he's a genius it just breaks haven't gone his way doc rivers james harden and joel and bead have not had a lot of success getting out of the second round of the play i was gonna say i was about to say like if you're in a game seven and you're two like the two guys that are leading your team out onto the court are James Harden and Doc Rivers, you can't feel that confident.
I love Joel Embiid, though. He's the best player in the NBA right now.
I just declared that. MVP-ed.
There we go. That's the perfect way to send everyone off.
All right, thank you, Royce. Isn't it weird, though? Everybody in the league is pissed off.
Everyone is deeply unhappy, and then you've got NBA media watching players get really unhappy, and they're like, this is awesome. This is fucking awesome how depressed these guys are.
There's like four or five guys. John Morant's happy.
I think Steph Curry's happy. I think the Suns are happy.
I think Kawhi's happy. Yeah, Kawhi's happy.
In just kind of a neutral sense. The Bucs are happy.
Heat culture.

Are the Bucs happy?

Yeah, I think so.

I mean, they've had like four or five games in the last couple weeks where they have crushed teams.

Yeah.

I think they scored over 130 like three times in a row.

It was nuts.

I think the Heat are happy too.

Heat culture.

Yeah, the Bucs are first place.

Yeah, they've been on a roll.

Oh, Heat are.

Oh, Heat are.

And the Bucs are second. Yeah.
Yeah. Now the Nets got two guys who are questionable with shots.
That's good. I'm glad Billy said it before I had a chance.
That was one that you would have tweeted, but you were like, no, I can't do that. Yeah, exactly.
I think I actually typed in the Nets lead the league in Australian guys who are afraid to take shots. And then I deleted it.
I was like, no, I'll save that one for Revell. That's playing really hard.
Last thing on the NBA trade deadline, LeBron, all-time quote. He said, obviously this is something that's weighing on this group that we're all trying to get through.
Almost feels like it's a fog, just a fog in the air. LeBron James made this group.
He's the GM of the Lakers. That quote, he's basically like, yeah, it's tough for all of us.
We don't know who's going to get traded. Yeah, well, you're not, and also you're going to get to decide, and no one's getting traded.
Could LeBron James technically demand a trade from himself, like ask himself, hey, LeBron, hey, future LeBron, this is young LeBron, will you please trade me in a week? Who would have thought that adding Russell Westbrook to this team and Carmelo Anthony and, like, a bunch of older guys would have turned out poorly? Literally everyone. In a way, it's perfect for LeBron because this season isn't his fault.
This is Russell Westbrook's fault. It's, like, the perfect scapegoat for him.
Well, I just want to remind you that I'll win with this and go to our interviews LeBron James uh in August he

deleted this but he said keep talking about my squad our personnel ages I think he said person

I think it was personnel ages the way he plays he stays injured we're past our time in this league

etc etc etc do me one favor, please.

And I mean, please keep that same narrative energy when it begins.

That's all I ask.

Hashtag thank you, King's Crown.

I am keeping that same energy.

We all saw this coming.

Also, their team total wins under hit last night with the loss.

It's February.

I got a nice future of them not to make the playoffs. 52 and a half.
And they're 26 and 30. Propwood.
Love it. I mean, yeah, the Cavs.
I'm a Cavs fan. Yeah.
If the Cavs win the division, Hank wins like a million dollars, and he's quitting. I'm really nervous they're going to bring that open kickoff out.
They're not. They're not.
There's literally no way. I'm going to bet it because you've bet with me on big moments that I'm going to repay this relationship.
Kick Fearson. Yeah.
I like it too. Shirts are in store.
Just imagine Harambe looking down at the opening kickoff, just blowing with his mighty gorilla breath. By the way, shout out Cincinnati Zoo.
Nice try, guys. Did you see the slideshow they did where they basically made an

entire slideshow of all their animals and

made their names like, I can't

even remember. It was like Manatee Higgins.

Yeah, I saw that. And so they tweeted

each one underneath it to basically

cover up all the replies being like,

what about the gorilla?

It's too bad.

It's too bad. You have to have a little bit more self-awareness

of that if you're literally the Cincinnati

Zoo to be like, okay,

We're going to just try to make ourselves go viral and not have people discuss the biggest star ever that we had that was murdered in cold blood. When your home system or appliance breaks down, American Home Shield will help fix or replace the covered item, no matter its age.
Visit AHS.com slash listen for 20% off any plan. See AHS.com slash contracts for coverage details, limitations, and exclusions.
Special guests, Super Bowl week from your Cincinnati Bengals. Our Cincinnati Bengals.
Our Cincinnati Bengals this week. It is tight end C.J.
Uzama and kicker Evan McPherson, Money Mac. We want to obviously talk about Money Mac and making these kicks, but we've got to start with you, CJ.
You're playing. Is he not Money Mac? We call him Shooter.
You have a million nicknames. You do.
So I just say it's whatever you want to call me. It's just a personal preference, really.
I like Kick-Pherson mean i've heard that too it goes yeah yeah maybe if you've heard that one if you win a super bowl then it's then it's money mac okay you've also done a very good job of um we're in in our side of the you know the media and how we do our job is we have one initial like we see someone we make an opinion and then that's it forever okay I thought you obviously sucked after the Packers game yeah and then you've been able to switch that like almost instantly with your run in the playoffs and all these big kicks you made so actually let's start with that that celebration when you didn't hit the kick yeah um that sucked I mean I I think it I think it sucked just more that it was focused on me and Kevin. I think if you show probably CJ.
Were you celebrating CJ? I was going crazy with Clark, with the long set. I was going crazy with him.
They do a little chest bump after their made kick, and so I'm sure they were chest bumping, doing whatever, celebrating. And then we all look up, and the refs are down there like this, and we're all like, what happened? Yeah.
Because, I mean, probably halfway, the ball halfway to the uprights was just dead center in our eyes. And then I look away, start celebrating, and that thing just takes a hard left.
But that was a good learning experience. I'll never celebrate a kick that i'm really not sure of see it all the way through let other people start the celebration then you react to their celebration what what happened that game that was a weird game because it was like you and mason yeah and there was just something going on where there was like a force field yeah between the uprights no it was super weird and i feel like there's definitely kind of games or even weekends like that because I feel like in the NFL that week, there might have been a couple missed kicks or extra points or something like that.
And so, but yeah, I mean, it was just super weird. And, you know, me and Mason had a word after the game.
And, you know, he had a 51-yard field goal in the same way. And his kind of did the same exact thing as mine did.
So it's like on the field, it kind of felt left right, but it's like when it got to the upright it was kind of right to left. See, we thought it was the moon.
We thought that there was something going on. It was a full moon.
Yeah, like something with astrology, like when Mercury is behind Jupiter or whatever, kickers start to fuck up everywhere. Yeah.
CJ, I wanted to ask you about your leg because it looked like a nasty hit when you got taken out there. But you say that you're going to play.
You're going to try. Is this smoke and mirrors? Are you smoke and mirroring me? No, no.
I mean, this is the Super Bowl, man. I'm not missing.
I can't. I don't know.
I mean, I don't know how much I'm going to play. I don't know how much they're going to limit me.
But I told the coaches. I told my PT guys.
I told Nick. And Nick knows I'm going to play.
I mean, coach knows I'm going to play. Yeah, I'm playing.
What's it at right now? Like, where are you? I mean, you're not 100%. Right.
It's just, I don't know. We'll see this week, for sure, to be honest.
Okay, that was smart. I almost got you there.
You can't tell me. Yeah, I got you.
I got you. Like, 85? Yeah, I mean, we'll see this week.
80? Okay. It just depends.
Like, I feel like I'm like 80% right now. What do you feel, Evan? Like, let's all do percentages right now, just around the room.
I'm probably 105 just because of this weather. 105, yeah.
The weather? PFT, how are you feeling? I'm a 91. Okay, and then CJ, what are you? Wait, why are you an 80 out of curiosity? I had a little slip at the pool today that was...
I saw that. I actually saw that.
That was good. But here I am.
Much like you, next play. I'm in.
I'm ready to go. Personally, then I have to be a little bit above that.
Okay, so you're above 80%. Yeah.
Alright, so put on a quote board. Blast that out.
Osama feels better than 80%. There's something about tight ends.
It's like you and Kittle, where we always joke around about Kittle. He just goes to the sideline if he gets taken out, and he'll just will himself to be healthy.
He's like, no, I'm not injured. He plays a lot of Halo, and he plays a lot of Warzone.
He hits himself with a stim kit real quick. He's like, I'm fine to go back in.
I feel like that's a very tight end mentality. Just be like, nope, I'm going to play.
I don't care. Yeah, you got the self-rest going.
That's what I have right now. I got the little self-rest going.
A little help from Nick, the PT. He's my teammate trying to get me right, dropping some shields for me, and I'm good to go.
Yes, yes. All right, so has it set in yet? You guys just landed, right? We're talking to you.
You landed a couple hours ago. It's Super Bowl week.
When is the jitters start to like, oh, shit, this is Super Bowl week is super bowl week man i don't know i mean i think that this team's probably just so confident that i don't know if we're really gonna have jitters at all i i think we're gonna you know prepare so well for this game and you know we're so ready for it and we've got so many players from winning programs that this is normal for them and so i feel like you know we've had some guys that have been there done that and for those guys I feel like there won't really be many jitters there's going to be a lot of excitement I feel like more than jitters it's true like a lot of the guys I mean you got Florida Auburn like played in big big games and you know Joe obviously I yeah so CJ you've been on the Bengals for a while now. You went through the roster purge, which is kind of crazy.

You've seen both sides of it. What do you think the similarities are between Andy Dalton and Joe Burrow? Good question.
The similarities. That is a good question.
Both QB1s. Nice guys.
Yeah, they're both QB1s. No, but seriously, Joe Burrow, everyone talks about it.
We know Joe a little bit. Is it really what everyone says in terms of, like, the way he commands the locker room and just the, like, you look at him and you're like, all right, we got this.
We're okay. Dude, yeah.
Okay, so, like, it's just, like, we're on the same, we're on the same, the way our locker room's set up. We're in the country club.
That's what we call it. Everyone else is in different sections, but we're in the country club.
You have to pay a membership fee.

But he sits closest to the wall, and there will be times where he's just staring into space.

And we're all on our phones.

We're all doing stuff, and he's just not moving. And he won't move for like two minutes, and then he'll just snap out of it real quick and then look at his phone and then move.

But then a couple minutes later, it's just the same like robot.

And it's weird, but that like, that's how he is, like, all the time. So in the huddle, he'll just be same thing.
And we're like, all right, well, he's thinking of something. I don't know what he's thinking, but he's thinking about killing this team or scoring the game-winning touchdown.
I don't know what it is. But we're all, like, having a good time.
Then all of a sudden he starts talking. We're like, all right, shut up.
Listen. All right, nice.
Here we go. Go score.
Go win the game. So it's never rah-rah.
It's never, like, we got, like, let's go, boys. Let's get it together.
There will be times where it is, but it's not, like, it's not, like, it's not, like, how I am where I'm just, like, yelling at the top of my lungs. It's kind of just, like, you know, there's a soundbite of him saying, all right, when we score, we're going to go for two.
And Jamar's like, shit, I like that. All right, cool.
But Joe's just like, yeah, all right, that's it. I'm like monotone.
Just hold on. Let me listen to the play real quick.
So, yeah, it's something like that. And that's stone cold killer.
It's crazy. What about what he said on Monday about like, hey, advice to youngsters out there.
When you work out, you don't have to post a video of you working out and then go home, you know, sit at home for four days and then just, like, put it all over social media. Who on the team was he talking about specifically? Was that one of you guys? Was it a bottle cap? Evan McPherson bottle cap? I don't think it was that.
It might be. You sat for a while after you had that bottle cap kick.
No, no. You didn't get out and make another TikTok right afterwards? No, I didn't.
I think that was probably one of the few kicking videos I've posted on social media. I used to post a lot in high school, you know, trying to get some recruiting done on Twitter and whatnot.
But ever since college, I don't really post many kicking videos. Just like Joe said, you do your work in private and not really share it.
Yeah, what's the longest field goal that you've hit in practice? 75 yards.

Oh, shit.

When was that?

In college.

Wow.

I've been saying this for years, which is like kickers at the professional level,

they can make, most of them should be able to make around 70-yard field goals.

But coaches, it takes them a while to catch up to that and to be able to trust a kicker.

Then obviously the field goal or the field position that goes along with it.

Have you told your coach, like, hey, let me try a 70- 70 yarder i don't know if he'd let me try a 70 but um it had to be the right conditions for sure i don't know if 70 is the right number maybe 67 to break the record but we'll see i mean i read that in the titans game your range was 57 you see i think coach taylor said after like we need to get to the 40, which is a 57-yarder. Yeah, so going that way, we were kind of going into the win.
And so we knew at most the 40-yard line. So it would be a 58-yard field goal.
We knew going into the win, that was probably the max distance, really. I mean, 60 with the adrenaline and whatnot, but probably nothing really past that.
So did you actually say, I guess we're going to the AFC championship game? I mean, I said something along, like I told Brandon, I was like, well, I said, let's go to the AFC championship game. So I wasn't like, we're going, you know, but it was like, you know, it was a confident, I guess, statement, but it is something I said.
Yeah. I think we need to just like, we need to solidify that rumor.
Cause it's such a cool story, even if it's not totally true. Right.
Because I heard, you can just confirm this if it's true. I heard that after you made it, you pulled out a piece of paper from your right shoe that said, we're going to the AFC Championship game.
Is that true? I actually, I heard some of that. He said fact.
He said fact, but I also heard he pulled out a piece of paper. He said, we're going to the AFC Championship game and we're going to make Patrick Mahomes forget how to play football in the second half and then go to the Super Bowl.
That's what I heard you said. Yeah.
Fact. Sounds good.
Another fact. What happened at halftime in that game? What? What happened at halftime in the Kansas City game? In the Kansas City game.
Something changed. It was like the end of the first half.
Did you guys kidnap Patrick Mahomes? What happened? What was the speech? Did somebody give you a speech, or was it just like you could feel the energy change? Because it was a completely different football game. I mean, I wasn't in the locker room at halftime.
We kind of go in. They lock you out? Yeah, take a piss, and then just walk straight back out.
Like, that's just what we do. It's just the secret stuff, guys.
We just have the secret stuff. So he could probably tell you what the speech was.
Yes, that's what it is. But the turning point was the play right before the half.
Yes. You know, we stopped him on the one.
That's, like, we were walking into the locker room, and I was like, you know, that probably just won us the game there. Like, that just shifted everything kind of in our favor.
Is he authorized to say that? Like, yeah, we could feel the entire team change, like, as a kicker? And I know, because I am a kicker, I know that, like, my job is to not open my mouth. I kick for one day.
But, like, what was it like for the real players that were invited into the locker room? Yeah, it's funny you say that, though. Evan talks a lot of shit.
So, for a kicker who's not really supposed to say a whole lot, he does talk a lot of smack. Which, I mean, I guess I'll talk a lot.
Yeah, I mean, you can't really say anything. He makes them.
He makes everything anyway, so it's like, all right, whatever. Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know what happens at halftime. Like, we're a second-half team, and we don't love that.
You know, we want to come out hot and just absolutely bury a team. We've been talking about it this week.
But there is something about our second-half are just i mean it's it's wild it's ridiculous it i mean it's not it's not even the second half adjustments the fact that you guys like obviously you have confidence but you were 10 and 17 it's not like you guys were dominating teams all year and then this run has just been incredible has like did you have that confidence going into i you, CJ, being on the Bengals for a long time now, like the city wanted just a playoff win. And then to get all the way to the Super Bowl, it's crazy.
Did you feel like, hey, we could actually do this? Yeah, for sure. I think I made some bold statements at the beginning of the year, and some people definitely laughed at me for them.
but i knew what we had i knew really i knew who we had at quarterback yeah and the playmakers that he had around him that he was just going to get him the ball and the guy that we have running the ball will make people pay too um and i knew what our defense was capable of um kind of you know i didn't know that they were going to like ball out and like people were going to make mistakes and they were going to capitalize on them the way that they did but um yeah I mean this run is I didn't expect it you know like you know I remember Sam saying you know I just want to get that one that first win that first playoff win and I thought the same thing I was like oh nice now we got it like what next though right afterwards I'm like all right cool we got another game like game. Like, we're probably going to Tennessee right now.
Like, what's good? And then it's just another game. Like, we got a bunch of young guys who just don't know any better.
Like, they don't understand anything. They're just like, yeah, it's a football game.
Oh, cool. Like, talk to me about media.
Cool. Yeah.
I'm still going to go out there. Jamar.
I'm still going to go out there and gritty. Cool.
Like, that's all I care about. I'm like, all right, cool.
Good. Yeah.
We're good yeah we're down 11 at the half okay we got this exactly i like that though it's like the moment it can't be too big because you don't know enough about the moment to begin with exactly you're just going through it yeah um all right so cj you went to auburn um we like to do a thing in media where we do the talk about questions talk about so talk about uh the current state of of Auburn and the coach. Yeah, it's crazy.
It's nuts. What are you specifically talking about? Yeah, you know, just you're talking about Coach Pearl, obviously, and basketball, the number one.
Oh, yeah. Come on now.
Come on. Yeah, we're number one in basketball.
It's crazy. You're in everything school.
We are. If you look, we have like the number one bass fishing team, too, I saw.
Who knew we had a bass fishing team? Not me, but I'm definitely getting a jersey. Yeah, so.
It is crazy, though. You've had it twice now in the pros and in college where you were on a team at Auburn that was very bad, the 0-8 SEC team, and then you went to the national title the next year.
Kind a similar thing with the bangles turnaround like how when it's bad does it ever feel like it's gonna get good again or have you did auburn teach you that like hey we can turn this around with a couple players yeah i think uh i think auburn was different because at the time i was like this isn't gonna get better yeah i mean like straight up mean, straight up, I was like, I don't, I don't know if this is going to get too much better. And then, you know, we had a coaching change and I was like, okay, well this is a little different for sure.
And then I think here I knew because we've had Zach for three years. And I was like, this is, it's eventually going to get to where it needs to be.
Like, I know, you know, it's not going to happen directly overnight, but I know the kind of guy that he is, the kind of people that we're bringing into the organization, the coaches, as long as we buy into what he's trying to implement in us, we'll be fine. If Coach Taylor was walking down the street, would you be able to recognize him? I would.
Would anybody else? We don't know. He got carded, right? Yeah, he did.
Tell that story. Kevin, so we have game balls that were passed around the city, and Kevin was with them, and I didn't know Kevin was with them.
I thought Kevin was going to go to another place. And so we're in a group message about, like, hey, where are we going? What are we going to, like, who are we giving the game balls to? It's after the Raiders win.
They're giving out the game balls to the city, yeah. And so he goes to MLT's, Mount Lugat Ta Tavern and the the guy just was like I don't know who this is so I'm just gonna card him and right when it happens Kevin immediately texts us and he's like you're not gonna believe this like the guy didn't know like he just was like hey give me your card and he looked at it he handed it back to him still didn't know just like all right next person I was like that's absolutely incredible that's amazing yeah I think if you win the super bowl i think we'll probably be able to recognize zach at that point oh at that point it'll sink in but we were joking the other day we're like it looks like patrick reed lost a lot of weight that's like his he looks a very like a very generic white guy kind of to us but yeah yeah that's it's probably a good way of describing good way of describing him.
Yeah, fair enough. You were on Auburn for the kick six, right? I was.
Were you on the field for that? I was not. I ended up on the field after we rushed it, but I was not on the field.
Walk us through that play and your emotions on that play. Well, I'll say I'm glad Evan wasn't the kicker because he's out here smacking 75 yarders.
It would have gone through.

No, it was insane.

Yeah, I kind of blacked out.

I jumped on the pile.

I'm running down the sideline.

Everyone's just running down the sideline.

That's my vantage point.

Jump on the field or jump on the pile, and I get off.

I actually see my high school teammate, which was sick. He's running off the field.
He played for Alabama, and he was running off the field, and I gave him a hug. Oh, that's fucked up.
I'm sure he pushed you. That's fucked up.
That's so mean. I would be so mad.
Sorry, Austin. He wasn't happy.
He gave me a hug back, but he wasn't happy about it. But right afterwards, I was on the 25-yard line.
I look up, and I'm like, I'm not getting back into the locker room there's no shot like it was just a sea of people and i'm like this is sick but we're gonna be stuck here for like 30 minutes i didn't get back into the locker room to like 30 minutes i don't think chris chris davis i don't know when he got back but i was gone before i saw him so it took it had to take him forever to get back into the locker room can you walk us through like the pile situation when you jump onto the pile and then people jump again onto you forming a bigger pile how long do you have like are you sitting there until everyone is like okay i think the pile's over dude i got super lucky because i jumped on i saw like someone jumped on me and someone jumped on him and the third person or the second person that jumped on like us knocked both of us off and i was And I was like, good. That's actually probably smart because I'm looking at the pile like, Chris is probably screwed under there.
He's probably gasping for breath. No, the pile gets scary sometimes.
Oh, yeah, for sure. When it stacks up, it's like you can't breathe in there.
Yeah, and then you freak out because you can't breathe. Yeah, I would freak out big time.
So, all right, so that's obviously a memorable SEC game. Evan, I'll do a memorable sec game for you all right what like what does coach mullen say after you lose to lsu it's like wait who threw that shoe yeah i i think that lsu game is probably more on me than it is on marco really because i you know i missed the field goal to go into overtime it was foggy though it was foggy but you know there's no excuse their kicker went down and made like a 57 yard field goal to go into overtime.
It was foggy, though. It was foggy, but there's no excuse.

Their kicker went down and made a 57-yard field goal after I missed.

So I'll take a lot of blame for that one.

That's credit to you because I actually don't.

I just remember the shoe.

So you just told on yourself for no reason.

So the shoe did take a lot of pressure off of me, I will say.

But that was a unique situation, and it was definitely one of those learning points for Marco to just kind of keep his composure into those freaking moments because obviously it would have been fourth and five, whatever it was, and they were going to punt it to us. Game's tied.
We were either going to drive down, kick a field goal, win it, or score a touchdown. I mean, that's how it was going to end.
But, you know, the personal foul. That Florida team was fun, though.
You guys were a lot of fun. That SEC championship game against Alabama when you guys went toe-to-toe with them.
Yeah. No, that was a lot of fun.
Yeah. Like, that was probably one of the most fun games I played in that.
And, obviously, I got to play against, you know, Joe Burrow, Jamar, and all them. We beat them in the swamp my first year.
Then we went to Death Valley at night my second year, and that game was just insane. That was whenever they went on their run.
Yeah. They beat us by like two scores, I think.
But, yeah, I played in a lot of good SEC games. Played against Auburn, beat them in the swamp.
Okay, but, yeah, cool. You're going to talk about beating Auburn.
But can we talk about the shoe game again? You missed a field goal. How far was it? 51.
Oh, okay. It was foggy.
No, but so you would have missed against us also. Because you were talking crap about it.
It would have gone through with kick-six. True, good point.
It was foggy. Yeah, it was foggy.
It was very foggy. Also, I feel like you should be allowed to throw a shoe.
If the shoe comes off, like what, you're supposed to give it back to the guy? I mean, yeah. I don't think – I think you throw it like 20 yards, 25 yards.
It was a pretty good toss. It was a good toss.
I know a lot of the players on the team loved Dan Mullins when he was coaching there. Was it ever a little awkward, like getting off the bus and it's like now you have to get a kiss from his wife? See, I mean, that part, it wasn't really what it seemed.
So explain how it wasn't. Yeah, go on.
So, I mean, no, Megan, she's a really nice lady, and she just wanted to really show her support of, you know, of all the players. And so just one way that she did that, and she didn't even kiss you.
It was kind of just like one of those, like, cheek-to-cheek, like, you know, those fancy little, like, you meet somebody. Yeah, French, yeah.
Yeah, the French little thing. Thank you for the podcast.
Okay, exactly. And so it was really one of those.
And, I mean, obviously there's probably pictures. You said it was a French kiss? Yeah, that's what I heard.
Fair enough. I know there are pictures online that make it look worse than it is, but, I mean, it wasn't really anything.
Yeah. She was just trying to show support.
Exactly. And, like I i said she was a really nice lady and um i appreciate her for actually trying to be involved you know i mean making a family yeah exactly i like it um how much do you squat not much really so how come i don't kick a ball 75 yards it's all about leg speed it's not about strength really like my little My little brother weighs probably 150 and he's hit a 75 yard field goal he's going to auburn right yeah he's going to auburn damn that's what happened there it's just what he wanted to do you know i mean now and you're from alabama right yeah so and nick saban just doesn't like to have kickers so that's why you didn't go to alabama uh it was a weird situation they actually wanted me to come and punt there really it was at

that time kind of jk scott was on his way out and so they had a kicker come in the year before me

it was uh joseph bulavis and she transferred to vandy i know a couple years ago but so they

thought they had their kicker they wanted me to come punt but you know i didn't want to punt in

college i really wanted to kick field goals yeah it is just is just so funny, though, like Alabama through all their run, that's been their one thing that you'd be like, well, they never got a kicking game. I mean, I think that's probably not a bad thing if they win, you know, seven national titles, six national titles that can't kick a field goal.
You could have fixed it. I mean, I think their biggest issue is just the quarterback holding.
Really? I think as a kicker, you really got to bond with your holder and just with it being a punter, you spend all practice with them. You can practice off to the side if it's Mac Jones.
He's got other stuff to deal with. He throws a long touchdown pass.
He's going to jog down there and then hold the ball for you. I mean, he's not going to be locked in, you know.
I think that's a good point. If you're playing quarterback and if you have like a touchdown run, you're tired and then you have to go hold for a kick.
It makes sense to have a specialist do a specialist thing. Yeah.
That's, yeah, that's a good point. So your punter is your holder now.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
So that's, yeah, he's great at it. Yeah.
Coachan probably saw your squat numbers, and he was like, I like to have my kickers as lead blockers in big games when I'm running a fake fullback dive. And he was like, I can't work with this.
I don't know. I mean, maybe.
You dodged a bullet on that one. Exactly.
Do you want to ask the Harambe question? No, you can ask the Harambe question. So, um.
You knew the Harambe question was coming.

You probably have been asked this like a hundred times this week.

So, how much is Harambe going to play a part in like what you guys are trying to accomplish on Sunday?

Go ahead.

Yeah, I mean, you all asked Sam.

Sam, he nailed it.

You know, it's.

He speaks for all of you.

It's been tough.

Yeah.

It's been tough out there.

Yeah, you were in Cincinnati at the time. I was.
So, you know crazy yeah it was nuts well they killed the gorilla i was like what the heck's going on yeah do you think that you look at the you look at the i think there was an election like that year the year after and like like 25 000 votes for her i'm dead serious i was like oh my god what a weird time so do you think that it's an easier time honestly yeah really like we really cared about like our nation was like, oh, my God. What a weird time.
So do you think that if you – It was an easier time, honestly. Yeah, really.
Like, we really cared about – like, our nation was like, what the fuck's going on? Yeah. The gorilla died.
So if you guys win on Sunday, do you think – I mean, will anyone, maybe both of you, say, like, this was for Harambe? I'm going to defer that to Sam. Yeah.
I'll let Sam. He's a Cincinnati kid.
Cincinnati native. Yeah, yeah, right.
Okay. So maybe that's.
But he does do a speech right before every game about Harambe, right? Yeah. Yeah.
100%. He does the whole thing.
You should have seen. On the Zoom, you should have had him act it out because he doesn't.
It's a whole production. Like a recreation of the event? Yep.
Well, not of the event. Oh, okay.
I don't know. It's like he she just gets into character.
It's good. Yeah, he starts beating his chest.
Exactly. Exactly.
Okay, well, what about this, Evan? What if you kick a 70-yard field goal to win the Super Bowl as time expires? Would you get a Harambe tattoo? I will say I will. Yeah.
Okay. A 70-yard field goal to win the Super Bowl.
An NFL record long field goal to win the Super Bowl.

Sure.

Now, I'm going to give you guys a little motivation because, you know, we're in the T-shirt business.

So we have to get T-shirts for both sides.

We have Bengals winning the Super Bowl, Rams winning the Super Bowl.

I did just get earlier today a text message from an image that I requested of a Ram Super Bowl t-shirt. And it is a dead Harambe with the little child in a backpack.
It's actually Sean McVay because he's so short. And he's standing over a dead Harambe.
I don't want to put that shirt up in the store. So you guys have to stop that, we already had one tragedy with Harambe.

Let's not have another.

We're at to sell this shirt of Sean McVay as a child.

Little itsy-bitsy child standing over a dead Harambe.

Was that your idea?

Yes.

Yeah.

We actually came up with it in this room last night.

Yeah, it's a very funny shirt.

Like, again, I don't want to put it on sale.

You know what?

I hope you guys win, and I'll still put it on sale. I mean, it on sale.
It'll be funny. It's like, then what's our shirt? Oh, no.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
I mean, again. We have a lot of shirts ready for you guys, too.
He's giving us extra motivation right there. Yeah.
That's tough. I think one with just Harambe holding up the Lombardi trophy.
We're heavily leveraged in the Harambe space right now. All of our stock is just in the Harambe market right now.
So you really need you guys to win. Smart.
All right. Oh, man.
Okay. Just a heads up.
The halftime is a little bit longer. The Super Bowl.
I don't know if anyone's told you. I'm going to enjoy it.
How much longer? Oh, you can't kick during the halftime because you're going to have a show. I'm going to try to be out there watching it.
Really? I got to be. I mean, this is going to be insane.
Yeah. I like your life.
I remember during the Orange Bowl my sophomore year they had like Gavin DeGraw out there performing. And we came out early and just were going crazy.
Just jamming? And they run off the stage, and all the specialists are right there just kind of high-fiving, you know, like, saying what's up. So, I mean, I would love to meet, you know, Eminem and all the performers.
I love it. I love it.
All right, I only have one last question. CJ, you have joe burrow saved as joey franchise in your phone because you i read the story that you went to text him and you couldn't find his number yeah yeah yeah i was an idiot i was like what is where is where is your number um and then i typed in franchise and i was like i should probably change that i'm not going to you can't but i should i need to put like in quotes like burrow yeah type in b oh nice all right cool you're there you know what i'm saying but whatever i can't now what if somebody finds your phone and then they're like oh it's joe burrow like that you have to have like a little bit of security right i guess that's true but then maybe i should do that for like everyone then yeah yeah wait do you want to facetime real quick just so we can say up? Do you want to FaceTime? No, you FaceTime.
You FaceTime. You want to say what's up, Joey Franchis.
I'll tell you what he said about you, Evan. That's okay.
If he doesn't answer, Evan probably doesn't have his number. Do you have his number? I asked him when I – What? You want to know a fun fact? CJ, I think you were the first person to text me after I got drafted.

Yeah.

Or maybe call me.

He called me.

First person to call me after I got drafted.

Really?

It does feel, and this is a compliment, CJ.

I know you're a humble guy, but it does feel like watching the Bengals,

Joe Burrow is the leader, but CJ is kind of the heartbeat.

Is that fair to say?

That's fair to say.

Yeah.

I mean, everything I've seen.

Maybe like the energy, you know?

The energy?

Yeah. Something like that.
Who's the energy, you know? The energy? Yeah.

Something like that.

The soul.

Yeah.

Who's the soul of the team?

Harambe.

That was a dumb question.

That was a trick question.

Just give him a face.

I'm going to now.

It took a...

The internet's kind of fishy over here.

Oh, is that what it is?

I'm not used to the...

My phone's not used to the California.

We have fishy internet.

We have fishy internet.

It's not even ringing. Oh, no.
Maybe y'all got to do it. Maybe I got blocked.
It's a possibility. You want me to try? This is what he said about Evan earlier, because we didn't know that CJ was coming until a couple hours ago.
I said, Evan McPherson is coming by today. Is he cool? And Joe said, ha-ha, yeah, he is.
Not a normal kicker. I usually don't like kickers, but he's cool.
You're one of the good ones. Should I face him? Give me a shot.
Should we see? Do you have him under franchise? No, I just have him as Joe Burrow best friend. He's probably not going to pick up.
There's no shot. Actually.
Why does yours work? Are you on the Wi-Fi? I'm the Wi-Fi Yeah We are on the Wi-Fi He's probably smart to not pick up Because we don't want to Yeah But he's probably thinking about Harambe right now This is his reflection time Yeah That's probably why he's not answering This is exactly when he got shot Yeah Yeah This time of day Alright yeah right, yeah. Yep.
That's all right. Wow, that sucks.
All right, well, best of luck, guys. We're rooting for you.
Thank you. Big time.
Appreciate it. Just covered four.
That's fine. Yeah.
And your Gatorade's orange, right? Yeah, it is. I never drink the Gatorade, though, but it is always orange.
Okay. Maybe that's why I don't drink the Gatorade.
Wait, what else?

Is there a drink on the sideline?

Is there another?

Just water.

Okay, so that's actually important to know, though, because if you guys were to win, you would probably be one of the guys who may, and you would go for the water?

Clear?

Huh.

Every time.

No.

Okay.

I don't know.

This is interesting.

You got to get Joe Burrow's number, Evan., Evan. Do you really not have his number? No.
Is that bad? Do you want me to send it to you? You think we just text all the time? I don't text him too much. You should text him on Sunday morning and be like, good luck today.
That actually would be hilarious. That would be great.
All right, guys. Well, best of luck.
Thank you for coming by. We're rooting for you.
And betting heavily on you. And hopefully you won't have to sell that shirt.
No. It would be very funny if we did.
But we don't want to. God forbid we sell that shirt.
CJ Uzama and Evancpherson was brought to you by our good friends at black rifle coffee we love black rifle coffee billy and i and bubba and snapchat steve were chugging it on the drive to the 405 it fueled us that was the real fuel that we were using we're gonna get right back to the show auto insurance can all seem the same until it comes time to use it so don't get stuck stuck paying more for less coverage. Switch to USA Auto Insurance and you could start saving money in no time.
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USA! All right, back to part of my take. This is going to go on Friday with two Bengals players and everyone's like, dude, you don't rep LA, you don't rep the Rams, so you are now, you're our token LA guy.
I'll be the token. I'm surprised you didn't ask me for any recommendations or anything.
I didn't get hit up for any recs. Yeah, I actually wanted to dive into that, because I've been looking for a dispensary, but one that just exclusively sells mids.
Oh, like bad shit? Yeah, like average stuff. Swag.
Maybe some seeds? Bad weed. Yeah, bad weed, because's too good nowadays.
It's hard to find out here, man. It sucks.
The weed has gotten too good. It is.
It's gotten much too good. And I remember in high school, 30% THC was like, this will knock you on your ass.
You haven't heard of shit like this. And now, I went to a dispensary a couple weeks ago and I was like i want something like pretty casual i don't smoke as much as i used to i would like to not i'd like to have a life after this yes and uh they're like this is solid and i look at it it's like 38 percent yeah it's low grade i'm like this is your decent shit she's like yeah it's like okay I'm like, is this okay um so yeah i just when i when i go i just ask for like bad yeah i just say i want something like pretty bad yeah that's smart i i need to start asking for bad because i have been asking for mids and you get mids and you're right it's like in high school middle school you had like an old a friend whose older brother would get his hands on something with, like, the frosty crystals on it once every six months.
And that was, like, a big weekend. It's like, okay, we're going to rent a movie.
We get all the snacks. Yeah, yeah.
You bring it around. Smell it.
Don't even smoke it. Just smell it.
Look at it. Just look at it.
Put the light on it. Put the LED on it.
Look at all the crystals. Yeah, exactly.
And, oh, see those purple hairs, the purple threads that are running through it? That'll get you fucked up. And then you smoke it out of the worst bowl possible.
You go to the store, you get a 20-ounce Sprite bottle, a ballpoint pen, aluminum foil, and then you stick it through the side. I used to do the paper towel roll, and then you cut a hole at the end, and then a little tin foil.
It's basically like smoking crack, but it's just weed, and it's like, look at this shit. It's incredible.
I used to really love MacGyvering bongs. It was fun.
It used to be fun. You didn't have the supplies.
So you look around the room and you're like, all right, what do we have? We got a Coke can. We got some foil.
We got a lighter. We can do this.
We can get this done. One time I went to the convenience store to try to get all the ingredients, which was the 20-ounce bottle, Bic Pen, and then aluminum foil.
They didn't have aluminum foil. And I was buying – I had to resort to buying a Nestle Crunch Bar because it comes wrapped in aluminum foil.
And I was so – I was like, this guy knows that I'm buying stuff for weed. Boke the holes in it.
Yeah. He's going to call my dad.
The – it also – man, this is like a, I didn't think we were going to go down this road, but like the throwback, I mean, it is funny thinking about like getting that weed and being like, this isn't, I don't even want to smoke it. I just want to, I want to look at it and I want to smell it and I want to just have it.
Like buying like really nice shoes? Yeah. No, no, no, don't wear those.
We don't smoke though. We don't't smoke that.
Yeah, we're saving this. That's for the shelf.
Yeah, it's collector's items. It's like baseball cards.
It's like, I got some Afghan 08. It's still in mint condition right now.
It's also like going into those smoke shops where they had to pretend that it was for tobacco. I thought it'd be so funny if someone actually went in there being like,

I'm going to buy this bong

and I'm going to just rip

a shitload of tobacco out of it.

Yeah.

Because they'd be like,

not for weed.

They used to be kind of anal about that.

They used to be like,

whoa, whoa, whoa.

And then I think over time

they kind of were like,

target.

But it would just be like

bowls and bongs

and be like,

this is for tobacco use only.

Yeah, you're like,

okay.

Yeah, all right.

I'm going to just rip

a bowl of American spirit

out of this roar.

I got it. Tobacco use only.
Yeah, you're like, okay. Yeah, all right.
I'm going to just rip a bowl of American spirit out of this roar, out of this zong. I kind of want to do that.
I kind of want to go out by a giant roar. Me and Bubba were talking about roars on the drive over here, and it's like everybody had a massive bong when they were in college.
And then once you move out of college, if you have a bong in your house, it's pretty weird.

It's like a giant red flag. Nobody will date you if you have a three-foot

bong.

You need a guitar case under your bed,

like a gun case to keep your bong

as an adult. When I got

to junior year, I got there

after all of my roommates. They were already

in the house. And I got there and they were

like, you owe us

$200 for the bong.

And I was like, well, I didn't sign off

Thank you. after all of my roommates they were already in the house and i got there and they were like you owe us uh two hundred dollars for the bomb for your share of the ball and i was like well i didn't sign off on this and i walked upstairs and they had it was the zong it was called it was this huge thing and it went boom boom boom boom boom boom and you have to stand over it no it's so smooth though it hits so smooth It hits so smooth.
Five full inhales. Yeah, Michael Phelps to get, like, to milk the thing.
And then you pull it, and then it would be, like, a rotation of three people that would... And then just die.
Yes. And everyone would come over to our house and be like, we gotta hit the zone.
And we're like, we live here. We don't wanna do this all the time.
It ruins our day, yeah's also funny thinking about all the different pieces. Like, all right, what do we want to use today? Like a bubbler, a one-hitter, a bull, a bong.
You have all these things. It's just smoking weed.
No, my buddy, he rolls the tightest splits, actually. Oh, should we do a blunt? I roll him so tight, you can't even fucking smoke him.
A little skeeter leg. Gravity bong was always like, holy shit, we're going to make a day out of this.
Gravity bong was fun. Get the sink.
No one used the sink for the rest of the day. You ever take the five-gallon thing and put it in the pool? Yes, yes.
Oh, man. In the tub or the pool or the sink, and you're just like, don't use it.
You can't use the sink for the rest of the day because the gravity bong set up. I'm actually convinced that most of my friends learned the principles of physics through creating bongs and then smoking weed.
You actually had to learn how air acted in a vacuum to use a gravity bong and understand the principles of where to let the air in, where to let the air escape. It was something, man.
We should make a gravity bong. We should do gravity bong.
Brad always used to do gravity bongs. He went to mit and he used to like make gravity bongs out of anything he could i'm like we get it you went to mit yeah you can you can put your mind to more useful things it's like those guys at mit that build robots that can like you know shoot perfect beer pong shots yes maybe figure something else out yeah Yeah, the robot who shoots the threes at halftime.
It's like, well, his release, I would swat the shit out of that. You couldn't get a robot who has a better release point? Yeah, at least, can he pump fake? No handles.
A euro maybe throw in there? Yeah, I kind of like the idea, though, of getting our nations and our world's smartest minds to work on the very simple problems that we all use. Maybe there is a better way to smoke that we just haven't thought of because they're too busy designing nukes.
I'd like to see what those minds could do in a room with a milk carton and a lighter. That's all I'm saying.
Figure it out. Navy SEAL trading.
Smoking weed, I will say, is just so much less of a process than it is. Oh, yeah.
It used to be like in high school, you couldn't just do it in your house. You have to leave.
You have to go find a spot. It would bring something to spray cologne or something so you'll come back smelling like it.
Yeah, I did have my whole my whole setup. I had like my lotion, my hand sanitizer, my eye drops, my gum.
Your Visine. Oh, my God.
And I would do it all in the car, walk in, and my mom would be like, you smoked. Do you think it's like jimmy smells like colonia he only puts it on when he gets high do you think visine it's actually like like i always think about like these companies that probably get fucked over like a ripple down like a trickle down effect where like visine's probably fucked over by the legalization of weed because people just don't care anymore about having red eyes whereas like it used to be visine was like very important to functioning as a person i still care because i look so stupid my eyes like people look at me and they're like are you okay are you having like an allergic reaction i'm like no i smoke and they're like well no i smoke and i don't look like that that's that's bad yeah i'm very jealous of people that can handle their their pot.
That's why I need mids. I'm fine on mids.
I enjoy mids. I like a background buzz.
I don't want it to be my entire day, just me walking around thinking about how high I am. Yeah.
You go to sleep, take a nap, and you just wake up, and you're like, I'm still high. Still high.
That sucks. This is the first part of an ad to our bad weed brand.
Yeah. It should just be called bad weed.
Bad weed. And they sell it to you in a plastic bag with, like, some seeds at the bottom, and you're like, well, this is kind of a throwback.
Yeah, there's, like, other stuff in the bag. It's nostalgia.
Yeah, you just got to pick out the weed. Nostalgia weed.
It's not great. Yeah.
So for Christmas, my aunt, she's in Virginia. You can now grow now grow plants in Virginia you can grow up to four she grew up she was like a hippie back in the day she grew her own weed plants and for Christmas she gave me bags of her different strands of weed like small little bags of it and there's just stems and seeds everywhere in it but she was like this is the best weed I've ever smoked because she used to smoke the stuff like back.
And this now to her is like the top of the line. To me, it's like bad weed.
I hit it. And I'm like, this is, this is what I want.
Yeah. That's all I want.
It's like pot from the six bad weed incorporated. All right.
So home economics too. We got to plug it.
Were you shocked that it got renewed? I actually watched it. I like it.
I know that's actually sounds bad the way i just said that um i i don't really watch you know cable sitcoms but i watch it because i support you and it was funny and i obviously we like tofer as well yeah um i wasn't surprised that it got renewed no um i was surprised it got renewed for 22 episodes i didn't know i didn't know that people were still doing that. I didn't know that shows still went for 22 episodes in one season.
So was it a shitload of money? Yes, that was the answer right there. He's trying to figure out how to say it.
He's trying to be polite, but it's a yes. How many commas was that laugh? How many Teslas do you own right now? Did you park the Tesla or did you get a ride? No, I actually just left it in front.
Yeah, you just hit and then walk away. Well, but that was because the valet guy, he just took off.
I told him as he came in, Jimmy came in, I was like, this hotel we're staying at has the highest valet people of all time. Yeah.
Well, it was funny because I there and he was like working on something else and he just looked at me and he did eye contact and i was like you know when you like give someone like you lift your head like it's time to engage in the service conversation we're about to take this to the next step and he just turns away and then just dick and I was like oh no not another car I was like

uh

and I was like, I guess I'm just going to bring the keys to the front. Yeah.
Yeah. So.
All right. So it's sick that it got renewed.
Is it like has your life changed at all now that you are on getting recognized? Anything like I would imagine you're you have a lot more visibility i don't know i mean i maybe i do but not from the people that i'm around okay so it might feel like less okay on youtube it was like very much my my like i'm around that demographic right um and i definitely it was like i had not a nine to five but that's like as close as you can get to a nine to five in like the entertainment which is probably kind of like awesome right yeah sure it's like you know it was like a six to six okay so you know i've been going since june and i just wrapped on friday so maybe that's not awesome so i uh okay i'm like five days a week very relieved to yeah five five days a week five days okay so that's not awesome i was thinking like like sometimes i get jealous of people who have like nine to fives and the fact that like it's just like they go in and they leave and then they're done yeah it's like we're working at nights and stuff like that so but you that that's a real job i like was very fortunate because i like everyone there like i like the cast they like you they i i'm pretty sure they like me who who would you guess doesn't like you uh one of the kids no there's no one there's one of the kids not tofer no i'm actually really cool with the kids the kids like me a lot. That's not what they said.
You had the kids on? Well, let's go back to that. When did you talk to the kids? No, we don't care what the kids said, but we don't agree with the kids.
We think that you're cool. We're like, we like Jimmy, so stop.
Stop it, kids. Stop bullying him.
I get that. No, I like everyone.
Everyone is good at their jobs. That's something you don't always have in movies.
If you go do an indie movie or a random movie, you might be around people that are new, but when you're on a network show, everyone's professional. Right.
So it's nice to be around people that are all good at what they do. The repetition gets a little tough for me yeah to be honest yeah and you have to just keep doing scenes over and over are you a one-shot guy no i mean you can't be a one-shot guy on no we are we always do one yeah we did one one and done okay i'll let well i mean i'll let one take, and that was it.
It's funny because we did do that one episode of television, and then after it comes out, there are different people that spin the ratings. I feel like it's their entire job just to, like, look at the numbers and then tell you, actually, this is really good because you were, like, number one by far in 18 to 21-year-old men from Massachusetts.
So that's a very coveted demographic that like they they're able to parse it so much that they can spin it um no matter what happens there's like a positive this is really good is there a number that you pay like do you pay attention to the ratings at all i look at them yeah i mean i'll see them every every now and then i don't like i'm not like i don't really care that much about them but um i'm like i'm always curious like how things are doing but it sucks though like when they they're just public and everyone like pft said like they spin it because you can also spin it the other way yeah right like but you also like you can see those no you can see the live numbers but you can never see like the hulu numbers right and i think that is where the show gets like most that's where i watch it is on who that's where i watch shout out hulu so is hulu hulu keeps all those numbers to themselves and then they decide which tv shows they want to bring on based on their internal numbers they don't they don't publish any of that i don't yeah i don't really know but i think they they give you like they kind of give you what they want like you'll notice like netflix every now and then we'll be like here's some numbers yeah yeah they'll give you like five numbers you put them together yeah netflix is like five billion people just signed up for a service yeah thank you four billion watch true crime right what is that what are we talking about here right they don't tell you how many signed up they're like well we't tell you how many signed up. They're like, well, we'll tell you how many signed up yesterday.
Yeah. You do that.
Big number, huh? Yeah, pick one number. Which number do you want? Seven? All right, seven.
You got it. I remember when American Vandal came out, they told us it was the most binged show of 2017.
And I was like, that's cool. But wait, what does that mean? The most binged? Yeah, right.
That's not the most watched. That's like people watched it in the shortest amount of time? It was like people watched three or more episodes in a row, more of that show than any other show on Netflix.
I'm like, all right, I'll take it. Most binged.
Yeah, you could do that just by making a really short show. Yeah, right.
If you made like a three- guarantee that would be the most binge yeah 25 episodes three minutes each yeah 90 of the audience watch our entire season in one sitting and it's actually just one episode with just cuts yeah exactly i think we just invented we just we just put a credit yeah no but commercials with credits yes yes that's good we're ideas guys um not execution guys so rams we got to talk talk about the Rams because you are a Rams representative. I am a Rams representative.
What is it? Ram fam? What is it? Do you have a name for the fan base? Ramily. I don't know.
I think they have used Ramily. What is it? Ramily.
It's here, it's Ramily. It's about Ramily.
Yeah. Ramily values.
Yeah. My friends were saying that they want to do a shirt to say Vamos Los Ramos.
That's good. That is good.
What's the vibe of Rams fans in general? Because is it weird that it's like, all right, well, this team got here five years ago or whatever it is, or is it it's just normal now? We're just football fans. we're NFL fans.
I'm very curious what, like, because everyone talks about LA, and we haven't been able to put our finger on it, like, when we say stuff on our show, we know right away, like, oh, these fans are mad at us, these fans are mad at us. I get a few Rams fans being like, why don't you respect us? But for the most part, I can't really figure out, there are yeah it's tough it's kind of like netflix it's kind of like netflix you know we'll give you whatever numbers we feel like um no it i mean i think personally when when we got the rams i was like you know i'm i grew up here so i never had a team like a football team so the So the second L.A.
had the Rams, I was like, sweet, I'm a Rams fan. I'm all in on the Rams.
And then there's a lot of people that are fair weather fans, like are Rams fans now. There's a lot of people that just want to go to the games for, like, this scene.
Right. So it's really, like, all across the board.
But but then you also have like those those dodgers fans that have like become rams fans and they're like hardcore rams fans now okay so like it really is all across the board sure there's like a lot of fairweather fans that are like you know just want to go to the games and be seen and take photos. Is it a conversation, though? That's kind of like, is it, do the Rams get talked about? Like, amongst me and my friends, yes.
I can't speak for whoever else, but like, in my fantasy football league, we're all pretty much Rams fans. Like, I think that's the sign of, like, a football city, and we've been to a bunch of them, and it's like, when the team is good, you feel it just walking down the street.
When the team is bad, you feel it walking down the street. That probably is not the case.
It's not the case, no. But I feel like it's hard for that ever to be the case in L.A.
Right, right. Because, I don't know, no one's going to walk down like sunset and be like, you know, you don't feel like a sports energy when you're walking down the street here.
Maybe like if you're by Staples Center or, sorry, Crypto.com. I'm so sorry.
The Crypt, is that what it's called? Yeah, The Crypt. Bill Plaschke, shout out Bill Plaschke.
He's still upset about that. He's like, this is the sign of new times that the Staples Center has sold rights to a corporation.
It's sad. It's sad that everything has to be about money now.
And that institution like Staples had to give up their name. Every cent Staples made must have gone towards what they were paying for the Staples.
Right, right. Staples wasn't making it.
No, no. When was the last time you went to Staples? Been a very long time.
They were paying like $20 million for a name. That's honestly not a bad business plan, though.
I could see myself doing something like that. Making barely enough money to afford putting my name on a sports arena.
That's kind of cool in a way. Right.
So would the Rams be more popular if they just wore Laker uniforms? Because Laker fans are psycho. Like that's the one thing that we make jokes about fair weather fans and like L.A.
not being like a huge sports town. But I feel like Laker fans make up for it.
And then some with just being insane people. Well, because now we're we're annoyed you know because like i said about the clippers last time it was like before it was just like everyone knows the lakers are the team and then all of a sudden you got these little fuckers coming in and being like no it's us so then it got the laker fans i think got it more aggressive yep once the clipper fans started like chirping uh-huh um and you also like haven't won anything You won the Mickey Mouse title, which didn't count.
So it's like LeBron has been here and nothing has happened. Yeah, I think it counts.
Who would you trade? Who would you trade as the Lakers, LeBron or AD? Who would I trade? Yeah. One's got to go.
You've got to keep Westbrook. Obviously, he's the centerpiece of your franchise.

Yeah, I have to keep Westbrook.

He's the glue.

I feel like you could get a lot more for LeBron right now

because, you know, obviously a team wants to get him so his son can play.

Yeah.

Honestly, I think I'd still trade AD.

Oh, wow.

So Jimmy doesn't like AD.

I like AD.

I love AD.

You just sent him out of town.

Literally just traded him. Five consecutive games.
No, you just sent him to Minnesota. He said get out of here.
Soft? What? Is he soft? I'm not saying he's soft. I'm just saying he could use some extra padding on the court.
Do you miss Caruso? I do, man. He's the best.
I love Caruso. He rooting for him on the Bulls is like a joy.
Oh, I forgot that you have him. Yeah, and he's been injured because Grace Nowlin should be in jail and assaulted him.
Yeah, what the fuck? Yeah, asshole. Did he get suspended for that? One game.
He should be in jail. But Caruso, when the Bulls were in New York, I went to the game at msg and it's like caruso has this confidence that is so fucking hilarious like he tried to dunk on like three guys it's like that's not gonna work he's just he doesn't care he's just and he's he's very good we just love to see it yeah we just love to see a high-flying white guy yeah yeah it's like with no with like he doesn't realize that he probably shouldn't be doing this, but he's going to do it.
Yeah. He was just a lot of fun to have on the team.
He's just really fun to root for. I used to love it before he shaved his head, before he realized that it was time.
It would grow out every couple weeks and just look really trashy. But that was even funnier when he was dunking on people with like the full on

monk hairstyle.

Yeah.

Like the bald top onto it.

Rocking a cul-de-sac.

Yeah.

You rarely see that in professional basketball.

Shamming out in the dead end.

It would have been sick if one day he showed up and he had like the LeBron

hair graft on the top of his head with a line and shit on there.

I love Caruso, man.

He's so much fun to watch.

Yeah.

He's a pothead though.

Yeah.

So just be careful.

Yeah.

Remember that?

Yeah, you got arrested at Texas A&M like a year ago. In an airport, maybe? He had a grinder.
He had a grinder, and he went through security, and there was a little bit of weed in there. And they're like, sir, you're arrested.
He's like in the last place in the US where you can't walk around with a grinder. College Station, Texas, is the one place where we just still have free Caruso.
Yeah, we love that guy. Fucking legend.
Yeah, he is. He's a legend.
The Lakers were cheap, and they were cheap, and they didn't fucking keep him, which was stupid. I know.
Can you break some news? Give us some real bros of Simi Valley news. Yeah, I mean, there's not really exciting news at the moment.
Oh, no. But now that I'm done with home economics, we are going to pitch season four to pretty much all the major networks.
Oh, yes. If you need our help.
We want to finish the show. Yes.
Facebook is no longer doing scripted content. They're doing red table talks and reality stuff.
So they're not doing any scripted TV shows anymore. Yeah.
So we are now taking it out to hopefully finish the show at one of the major networks. Now, obviously it would be awesome if that happened.
I'm rooting for you. I love the show.
I think it's one of the funniest shows. If you haven't watched it, you're an idiot.
Go watch it. You can watch it.
I think each season is on a different streaming platform, which makes it a little difficult. I want want to get all the seasons in the same place.
Yes, yes, because that's, like, it is, you see it, I'm sure you see it all the time. It's got to be cool, like, the GIFs and pictures that are used, it's very much like a cult classic in that respect.
It, like, feels a little bit like an Arrested Development or early Family Guy when Family Guy got taken off air, and it's almost this little inside joke where people know the context of these gifts that are being shared. But it's a big inside joke.
It's like a huge group. I wouldn't even say cult classic.
It's just something that I think hasn't been promoted by the mainstream. But I think a lot of people that are in the mainstream have watched it and enjoyed it but like people share the the gifts like you know like i'm sure i'm not having a good time i i bet some people who share that don't even know what they're sharing yeah for sure it's like but that scene is like you need to know the sound like the the baby fight sound became like a tiktok thing and it got like like hundreds of thousands of people made videos using that sound like you could watch all these people like lip-syncing the sound but um yeah i mean i think like it's it's really cool to see how many people still watch the show even though like you said it's like season one's on facebook season two is on or season one's on youtube season two and three are on Facebook.
but just the fact that it's like on different platforms and it's still all the episodes still have like millions of views is just i think a testament to the the fan base and it's cool that's what i think hopefully will help sell it because we can say the fans will follow it they absolutely will and they you had had Kittle doing the Xander at the Pro Bowl, which was fucking sick. Kittle threw down the Xander.
I'll throw that in the pitch document. Yes.
Why wouldn't you? You should actually just toss us in there. Just be like these guys.
They're going to be on the fence, and then they're going to see Kittle just throw down the boom. Oh, man.
All right. We'll buy it.
If you want to be like, hey, this podcast, it has a pretty decent fan base. We'll push it as hard as we, like, we'll just make up ads for you.
If you get it on a, throw that in the pitch document. I'll come on as Xander.
Yes. Yeah, I like that.
That would be fucking incredible. I feel like I don't know you guys.
Well, actually, it wouldn't be that incredible because it's kind of, we do that every show with Billy. Because he's kind of.
He's our real bro. Yeah, he is our real bro.
But he's like a real, real bro. Does that make sense? He's real.
Yeah, no, he does. He's upset seeing you here.
He thinks that you're appropriating his culture on the show. Yeah, he's like, wait, what's going on? He's like, my culture is not your costume, Jimmy, is what he is what he was saying yeah he's like what the fuck jimmy like there needs to be more roles in hollywood for real bros to play real bros representation matters and every time you film an episode you're taking jobs away from real bros you're in bro face let's start a controversy that would be so good if we're just like, these guys are not real bros.
And they're fucking taking our jobs. From real bros.
Yes. Billy's sitting there like, this is bullshit.
The real bro reality story. Our idea got stolen from us.
We need it, though. We need it.
I mean, it's such a fucking funny show. It is good, yeah.
And I hope it, you keep saying, like, we got to finish finish it, but I don't want you, like why, if someone bought it and they're like, Hey, we want four more seasons. Would you do it? Um, we want, I, I was, we know how we want it to end.
Right. Um, we also think it would be funny to do a couple like spinoffs where, you know, maybe wants to go rent an airbnb and they don't realize that they're getting roped into like a love island type situation and uh it's just like the full season and it takes them like you know an episode or two to even realize what's happening and then all of a sudden they're like all in on this love island show and they're like by the end they're like and then like the next season and just like okay that for pretend that never happened yeah right um but there's so many like different reality shows that would be fun to parody at the time real housewives yeah was was we were just laughing at how many there were it was like real housewives like podomac or potomac or whatever yeah all right we we can do a parody of this yes but now it's like i think love island would be really funny to parody i don't know if you guys have watched yes it's absurd um and there's just so many like that all the all the hookup in the one house shows put all these hot people in one house and just not let them fuck yeah like old school fear factor is dirty where you're just doing challenges and shit it's kind of weird that uh the whole concept around ending a series because like everyone says that they want to see their favorite show have like an ending you know and everyone that's making a show wants to think about what the ending is going to be.
But then every time they make it, everyone hates it. Yeah.
Like there's, I don't think that there's been a good ending, maybe breaking bad. Yeah.
I like breaking bad, but every other one, people are just like, Oh, that ending sucked because it's like, yeah, no shit. You, you invested, you know, five years of your life into watching a show and you made it such a big part of your day-to-day.
You look forward to it, and then you see it end, and it didn't fulfill your wildest dreams. Then it's going to just make you upset for how you – like Game of Thrones did that.
Everyone was like, fuck these guys. I just feel like more shows should just not have endings.
It would be funny if they did an ending that everyone got mad about. Like, how could you fucking kill off Xander? Like, this is my life invested in this.
Well, I really want Hawk to die of old age. I hope if you haven't watched it, you have to watch it, but Hawk is Xander, Jimmy's character's son, and he goes from a newborn to like eight years old to like high school in like a matter of like three episodes.
In the end of season three, he's like 19. Season four, he would start out being older than me for sure.
He'd have to be like 50. And I want to get the kid that played Hawk to play Hawk's son.
He's everything all the time on. That's so fucking confusing.
That'd be so funny though. And then, you know, eventually he'll, you know, his life will run its course.
He'll, he'll die of old age. I would really love that to happen.
We need that. We need that.
Um, all right. So you want to give a prediction for the game? This is for Rams are listening to this because, again, equal representation.
Uh-huh. I'm going to say Rams 24, Bengals 21.
Oh, Bengals cover the spread. All right, nice.
That's nice. You throw Cincinnati a bone there.
I'll take that. Yeah.
I don't know if you knew the spread. I don't know the spread, no.

I'm not a better like you guys.

Yeah.

You should actually have a season where Real Bros of Simi Valley get sponsored by a sports book.

Yeah, like Marshall Sportsbook. You could easily parody us, and it would be very funny.

You guys, just all you were doing is talking about parlays.

I could help write that.

Or you could just watch whatever I do.

Okay.

It would be pretty apparent how you could parody me.

I'm open to it. Yeah.
You guys are just gambling all the the time did i see that you're working with the fairly brothers now what was that are you working with the fairly brothers yeah we did a show it came out they didn't tell anyone yeah oh that was sick yeah i missed it but i was going back through social media before he sat down here i was like holy shit he's like working with yeah those guys and Bill Murray? Honestly, what happened with that, it was a Quibi show. Oh, there you go.
Wow. You're part of that.
Rest in peace. Did you kill Quibi? Did the check clear? The check cleared.
Dude, I was all in on Quibi because I had two Quibi shows. I had that and then I had like my middle school series that was sold to Quibi.
And like I think certain things were Quibi's fault, but overall it wasn't really Quibi's fault. You know, their whole concept was like, you know how you have no time? And they dropped it a month after the pandemic started.

Yeah.

You know, where everyone was like, no.

We have more time than we've ever had in our whole lives.

I want to watch a five-hour movie.

What do you got, Quibi?

And they're like, ooh, 10 minutes.

They're like, their whole marketing thing was like,

you know how you're on the move

and you only really have 10 minutes at a time? Yeah. And everyone was like, you know how you're on the move and you only really have 10 minutes at a time?

Yeah.

And everyone was like, no.

Yeah.

So I think they got very unlucky with the timing of all that.

But, yeah, we shot the whole show for Quibi.

It's basically like a two-hour movie chopped up into like 14 under 10-minute episodes.

Tangible? It's me, Dave franco and o'shea jackson jr okay that's like the main three dave franco shout out dave franco played beer pong with him for a movie promo for in like 2014 he's the neighbors too yeah i love dave yeah love o'shea and and then daryl hannah plays his mom and bill murray's in the show and it's written and directed by the fairly brothers who did is it just gone forever now well so it wasn't going to come out on quibi because quibi tanked um like right before the show came out so then i think they were going to like try to release it as a movie or something, but then Roku bought Quibi's library. So now it's on Roku.
So have you, are you the, are you, I think you actually could break the record. Like, have you appeared on every single streaming platform? That was my goal.
I wanted to be on every single one. I think I'm close.
So you've had Netflix. You've had Hulu.
You've had regular cable. You've had Facebook, YouTube, Quibi.
HBO Max? I'm in a movie on HBO Max. Yep, HBO Max.
So we need show time. We need Paramount.
I'm in a Paramount animated movie called Rumble that came out. Okay, all right.
Very good. What about Disney?

Have you done anything on Disney?

That's Hulu.

That's Hulu.

Oh, that's Hulu?

Right?

Yeah. But maybe a traditional Pixar voice, you're like the third candle.

No, I haven't.

I haven't made it on to Disney+.

I haven't made it on to Disney+.

I haven't made it on to Showtime.

Okay.

I haven't made it on to Stars.

All right, so we got to get those.

This is important, I say.

Showtime.

What shows are you? Are you a Billions fan? I haven't seen it, no. We could get you on Billions.
Okay. Yeah.
Brian Koppelman, the guy that runs the show, he'll put anybody on there. Yeah.
Literally. Yeah, literally.
Literally. All you got to do is retweet them.
Okay. Yeah, sounds promising, I guess.
Yeah. Seriously, we can get anyone, so we can get you.
Yeah. All right, so we got to, this is it this is like you will be the first ever that'll be a very big accomplishment i've yeah you've appeared on every single streaming platform i would just like a plaque of some kind yeah i think you need it it's no one's done it yeah that just says every i just got to get every as seen everywhere right me tatro and then it's just literally all the defun The defunct ones.
Everything. Seen everywhere.
This is a goal. Yeah.
I think we can do it. All right.
Well, thank you for stopping by. Always fun.
Our LA representative. We are around, so if you want to kick it, whatever.
When do you guys leave? Saturday. So if you want to give us some recommendations.
You don't have to come, but. There's a great breakfast burrito spot down the street.
What's it called? Dialogue Cafe. Okay.
They got a brisket burrito. Okay.
Any strip clubs around here? The Body Shop down the street. Just like the name of it.
The Body Shop is so good. I'm pretty sure it used to be a garage.
Yeah. They just turn into a strip club.
That's actually to go full circle. I feel like if you are someone who can come up with good names, it's like strip clubs and weed strains that's where you should be working because there's always good shit there weed strains for sure i i buy just from the names yeah same i bought one ghost dog i got ghost dog in denver it was it was just weed but it was it was ghost dog that's like literally what piques my interest every time i'm like i'm like, banana kush.
That sounds fun. White elephant, okay.
I got an abusive OG one time. Oh, Jesus.
I honestly had a panic attack. I had a pimple or something in the center of my chest, and I touched it, and I felt like it reverberate out and i was like cancer because of abusive og yeah i was like i'm dying of cancer and i like i started turning like green and white and purple and my friends were like are you okay and i was like i don't think so no and we looked at the name of the weed and it was abusive og jesus christ oh i've seen some strains that are some friends that are called, like, cocaine.
They call their weed cocaine, which is like, if you have a dog and you name it bear, which I've seen a few times. But then your buddy comes over, he's like, hey, I've got cocaine.
And he throws a bag on the table and everyone's disappointed. It's like, fuck you, dude.
Yeah. I'm smoking some cocaine.
Yeah, freebasing. Freebasing cocaine.
All right, well, thank you, Jimmy. As seen everywhere.
Check out Home Economics Season 2. Coming out when? Oh, it's out, dude.
Oh, it's out. I knew that.
That was a true question. There's actually an episode coming out tonight.
Beautiful. This is going out on Friday.
There's an episode every Wednesday until last week. And support our friend Jimmy.
But I think I'd like to plug more of the Roku show. because no one knows I saw the trailer for it, it looked good I was like, I like the Fairley Brothers I like Jimmy, how come I have not seen the show anyway it's good, it's fun Bill Murray's in it, you know who doesn't love Bill Murray? did you get to hang out with him? a little bit we went to a game.
We went to sushi. First thing we did at sushi, he just grabbed my hat and just threw it across the room and said, no hats, it's sushi.
And I said, okay. Sorry, I wore a hat to sushi, Bill.
Yeah. That's a rule, man.
I had hat hair all dinner. That's perfect.
All right, thanks, Jimmy. All right, guys.
Okay, let's wrap up. We've got Firefest of the week.
Great Super Bowl week. I don't know if anyone's got – I mean, it was a great week.
It was a great week. Awesome week.
Solid week, yeah. Let's do some Firefest.
We'll wrap everything up. We'll see everyone.
Watch our live stream, Super Bowl Sunday. Also, Overs Club is back.
Yep. We have a great promo as well.
I think it's three or four bets that you get in the Barstool Sportsbook app that are awesome. I was like, I actually had a meeting.
I was like, listen, we need a bet that everyone can get behind and everyone can be like, ooh, this will be awesome if it wins. Open and kick up.
That's the one we're all behind. That one we're all behind.
Scorigami. We're all behind.
We're all behind Scorigami. I'm going to tell you this real quick.
Yep. It's the bet.
Oh, no. I'm going to get it.
I'm going to get it. And we're all betting on Orange Gatorade, right? Yes.
Because that's been confirmed. Orange Gatorade.
Big game, long shot. So if you place a bet on the Super Bowl, if any of the following occur during the game, you just get $20.
So you don't have to bet these bets. If you bet on the game, you are automatically eligible for this.
Opt in at the top. If safety happens, you get $20.
If a 57-plus yard field goal happens, you get $20. And if a kickoff return for a touchdown happens, you get $20.
Okay. Just don't return it the first time.
Yeah, well, it's going to be overscaled. There's going to be a lot of points, a lot of kickoffs.

Yeah.

Just not the first one.

Yes.

So that's just like, and it's bonus.

It's not, you don't have to, you bet on the game, you opt in, you get those.

We all root for it together.

Watch our live stream from Louisiana.

All right, Hank.

All right, this is a hire fest, fire fest.

You spoke to the AB too?

No, I did not.

I think we should not even give context to that story. Yeah.
No, yeah. Let, let people fill in the gaps themselves.
Um, my, I had like a little film camera and the, uh, like it got a little fucked up, like a roll film. So I brought it to a camera store and I borrowed one of the cars we have out here, brought it to this camera store.
It was, you know, Feiner gave me. Maybe got a quick 10-minute drive.

Didn't think anything of it.

You guys smoke so much weed on this show.

Right?

I'm by far the most sober person.

Well, this is a non-work thing.

I was time off.

It was yesterday?

This is my hire fest.

We're on a fucking hill. This hotel is on a hill.

And I was stoned. And I was stuck in traffic on this hill.
Oh, this is illegal? And I did not... You were a passenger in the car, I was literally sitting there, and I was kind of freaking out.
You were a passenger. I was freaking out, and I was...
No, I had to be like... Stop saying that you were driving.
You were a passenger. You were a passenger.
You were so high, you forgot that you were in the passenger seat. Right.
It's legal out here. Can I not say my fire fest? Okay.
This podcast is sponsored by NHTSA. I was just on a hill and I had to...
Alright, should I not say it? It's not that bad. No, just say you were in the passenger seat.
It was very clear you were not driving. But then my entire fire fest is built around me driving.
No, you weren't driving. You weren't driving, but you was driving.
Billy was driving. You were so high, you thought you were driving.
The person that was driving. Billy was drunk driving.
Was on this hill, and instead of putting the car in park and waiting for the light, they were just, like, revving the engine. And it was like, this is really awkward, and it sucks, and, like, I need the light to go green, and the light went green and I didn't make it to the, the person didn't make it to the top of the hill.
So they had to sit there and we're just like, right. It was just, Oh, cause you're sitting on the hill.
Sitting on the hill. Right.
Like someone else was trying to get like, they should have just put the car in park. Yeah.
But I don't like putting it in park. That's what I'm saying.
Yeah. Because then you have to like do the quick gas.
And I didn't know what to do no person didn't know what to do the person did it right and it was just you know the person a bad experience to be in the passenger so it wasn't actually anything bad it was just stressful yeah it was not yeah i can't imagine driving stick out here on these no no no that's when you gotta use the handbrake like halfway then release it and then go billy's like an f1 driver over here yeah it's not a fun situation and i was like i'm in no state of the person driving yeah you should have told the driver push push yeah push push um all right pft your fire fest uh my not a felony no i was not i was not endangering my life or the lives of anybody else in my fire fest. Mine's worse, though.
I think mine's worse. Mine is I got to hit someone with your cart.
I went to bed the other night, and we're in this very nice hotel here. We're sponsored by Takis.
A lot of the stuff that we're doing. Takis are a delicious snack.
Everybody knows that. Especially if you're Hank and you've been smoking a vape pen all week.
Legally, I might add. You know Billy you can as long as you're a passenger yeah um and so I went to bed and I was hungry I ate some Takis in bed and oh god there's there's nothing worse than eating Takis in bed because the dust on white sheets it looks like I'm Dexter Morgan and I've've just i've slaughtered an entire family in my bed takis is a delicious snack the reason why it's so great is because you know like when i'm eating it i'm eating it i'm eating it and my hands are gonna get covered in dust and i'm never gonna be like hey mom guess what i ate the entire thing of takis and didn't lick my fingers until the very end but um yeah my bed looks just awful right now with like fingerprints and hand stains on and i didn't even realize until the morning because it was i was eating it it was very sad but i was sitting in bed in the darkness uh watching tv eating takis and and then i woke up in the morning with a takis bag next to me and then my bed looking like it there had been a slaughter going on there so um i'm not going to change my sheets or anything because I'm literally going to sleep in the bed that I made.

Love it.

For the rest of this week.

And then my other fire fest is that the Washington Commanders, Jonathan Allen, I'm having to defend his back and forth online.

He just wants to meet the H-Man.

He wants to meet the H-Man.

So he was doing a Q&A at 3 o'clock in the morning, which is always fun and highly recommended. And somebody asked him, three dinner guests, who would you pick to have dinner with? And he said, well, my grandfather, Hitler, and Michael Jackson.
Those were his three. And they said, two out of the three, I understand, but please explain Hitler.
And Jonathan Allen said... Okay, yeah, yeah.
No, I guess, no, I mean, it's actually smart. Like, Michael Jackson looks really good when you put it in that sentence.
Yeah. So, Allen said, well, Hitler's a military genius, and I love military tactics.
But honestly, I would want to pick his brain as to why he did what he did. I'm also assuming that the people I've chosen have to answer all my questions.
Honestly, Hitler's very known. He's well known for being an honest guy.
What you see is what you get with him. But like setting aside the fact that he invited Hitler to dinner.
Yeah. Hitler would be an all time.
Vegan, by the way. An all time bad dinner guest because he's a vegetarian and he doesn't drink.
And he's high on drugs. And he's high on meth.
So you have to plan everything around his little likeo diet. He's shaking and shit and just being a weirdo.
And he sucked at military tactics. And I'm just going to say it right now, bad guy.
Bad guy, but also sucked at military tactics. He blew a 3-1 lead in World War II because he invaded Russia in the wintertime.
He slept in on D-Day. And then he had a heroin addict leader of the Air Force that talked him into letting the British escape at Dunkirk.
So overall, not a good look from Jonathan. But he did apologize.
Okay, good. About Michael Jackson.
About Michael Jackson, yeah. I mean, say what you want about DH Man's military tactics.
He was a great shot. Yeah.
He was one for one all the time. Jesus Christ.
What a tweet. What a tweet.
Don't tweet it. Just never.
It's a good rule of thumb if you're a professional athlete to not ever say the word Hitler. Yes.
I think that's fair. All right.
My fire fest is simple. I ran a 5K and I'm really out of shape.
I don't know. Bill, you're going to have to do something about my lactic acid.
My legs are locked up. I haven't worked out in a very long time.
Did you run the entire one? I entire one i i would i would i like fast walked when i drank water but then i'd pick up my pace 34 34 minutes i mean it's not good that's mincy but he's like no mincy's train no and mincy's also was 36 minutes i'm a donkey no offense he's in very good shape for his size and he does that every day but i i but it's also different for min because when Mincy goes on a 5K, he has to stop every 15 seconds to take a picture with somebody that recognizes him. That's true.
When I got the dog chasing him, he gets some speed going. I know it's a bad time, but I also have not run more than a half mile in probably five years.
So in that respect, I think it's actually an incredible time. Yeah.
It's not bad for going from like absolutely nothing.

No cardio whatsoever.

And just doing all, like I did the 34 minutes.

I didn't stop.

I didn't get off or anything like that.

I just fucking powered through.

36 is Mincy's ceiling.

This is your floor.

Correct.

That's, yeah.

So.

Yes.

Get your mind right.

So you have way more upside.

If I trained, which I won't.

Yeah.

I could be under 30.

Easy.

No problem.

All right, Billy, yours. I have a couple.
Okay. First one, the thank you for your service thing may have gone a little too far.
One, we have Jake telling security guards that I'm a veteran at the Super Bowl arena. Billy, what pants are you wearing right now? Just curious.
I'm wearing my camo cargo pants, which are very effective in carrying multiple tools. Security guard NFL fan experience thought we were undercover cops.
Yeah. Yeah, I could see that because you were walking around sketchy.
No, you guys are like a movie cop duo. You got the one, the one that plays by the rules and then the other guy that desk pops three times a year.
Yeah, but that's one. And then also we were on the TV show.
We were on morning television. And the guy at the end said, thank you for your service.
So now people are actually like, you're clearly just stealing valor. You're accepting it.
Because I didn't push back on it because I just wanted to be like, ah. So panicked.
And yeah, so I'm sorry to the veterans. And I'm sorry it seems like I'm stealing valor.
I'm really trying not to. On behalf of all veterans, I say apology not accepted.
Okay. Hang on, I'm going to ask chaps.
All right, go ahead. Keep going.
Then I went, so I tried to get some exercise. I was doing some laps in the pool.
I'm not a nerd, so I didn't pack goggles. Chlorine's pretty strong.
Got out of the pool.

My eyes started burning like a motherfucker.

Then you smoked the bong.

No, I don't smoke weed.

I literally would have a panic attack.

Then I went out to the crowd.

You smoked weed and tried to drive up a hill?

No, I didn't smoke weed.

I was driving Hank's car.

And yeah, so my eyes were bright red.

Everyone started yelling at me, dude, you're so high.

And I looked very high, but I literally don't smoke weed.

Thank you. And yeah, so my eyes were bright red.
Everyone started yelling at me, dude, you're so high. And I looked very high, but I literally don't smoke weed.
Love it. So you see pictures of me with my eyes super red.
Any good videos, Rob, this week? Oh, yeah. Didn't finish the steak.
60 ounces out of 72. I don't know.
Wait, 60 ounces were left. 60 ounces.
I ate 60 ounces. So you puked, so that counts.
They weighed it. So they weighed your puke? No, they weighed the leftover steak.
Here's what actually happened. So after it was done, Billy's like, I basically finished the whole steak.
It was the sides that I didn't get around to. And then we asked the server to weigh the remaining steak, and there were 14 ounces left in the remaining steak.
So you do the math on that. That's like a big-ass steak.
Yeah, ate 58 ounces. When he says 60, he's rounding up.
I think he said 12. You were drunk.
Yeah, it was 14. That's fair.
And they didn't count the throw up. I think you probably puked up about 15 to 16 ounces.
But it was a great video because you were all pumped up going into the challenge. You were ready to go.
It was on the day that you fought Jose Canseco. Yeah.
The year to the date. It was Billy's war date that he has every February 5th.
And then you just sit down, you start eating it. And the sound that you make when you throw up is – I've never heard that noise come out of a human being before.
I actually thought it was fake. I thought it was, like, put in there.
That was ASMR. It was perfect.
I loved it. I laughed very hard.
Quickly, could you just run through your strategy in thinking that drinking like six beers and having that much water in your stomach was going to be good for you? Oh, zero plan. I was coming off the road.
My stomach was disgusting from all the supplements, energy drinks, a lot of coffee I was drinking. So going into it, I was...
You also stayed up late in your hotel room by yourself drinking Coors Light the night before. No, I was writing blogs.
And pounding Coors Lights. It's actually in the video.
It's like Connor S. Thompson.
You say that you did it. Fear and loathing in Las Vegas.
But, yeah, so that didn't go well either. But I'm going to go back and do it one day.
Okay. It'll be a momentous occasion.
I'm sure you will. That's good.
It's nice to say that. I'm going to run faster than a 30-minute 5K.
Yeah. It's fun to say shit that's not going to happen.
I'll get back to Amarillo. I'm going to run a 5K for under 30 minutes.
I don't think you'll ever go back to Amarillo. That's the thing.
No, dude. Amarillo is a town that you don't just stop through on your way somewhere else.
I'll get to Amarlla um jake finish us off yeah so earlier this week i was uh working on my big j feature story on sam hubbard i facetimed him on monday and i was planning on releasing the video too and the video just didn't save so it's just a written story which kind of sucks all right did it post yet yeah it was posted on monday Monday night. It's good.
It's a good article. My favorite part of the article is the sense that Urban Meyer did not respond to comment on this situation.
I was talking about Urban Meyer. Coach Meyer did not return a request for comment regarding this story.
Which is true. I tweeted at him and didn't respond.
Also, update. Bubba was with me after McPherson and Uzama left Burrow hit me back.
Burrow was like, Evans never asked for my number. He's like, tell that pussy to ask me if I'll give him his number and I'll give it to, I'm paraphrasing what he said.
Um, but yeah, that's a, so update on that. It's not that he hates him again.
He likes him as far as kickers go. Yeah.
I mean, how could you not? Guy's a cool guy. Alright, random numbers and then we'll end the week.
56. 17.
I'm going to switch it up. I'm going to go 87.
Vincent. 21.
100. Wow.
What does that mean? That's not even a number in the machine. That it? Yeah, it is.
That's like when zero hits in roulette. It is.
It's a number, right? Yeah, it is. It's happened twice before.
Do we have zero in the machine? No. No.
One through 100. Has 100 hit? This is the third time.
Really? Yeah. We've got December 13th, 2020, November 14th, 2021.
Love you guys. I love that you have you have that a trend balloon is used for cattle to put on mass for extra meat yield Thank you.
Outro Music Thank you. Outro Music Thank you.
It's part My Take, presented by Barstool Sports.