Bengals DE Sam Hubbard, Tom Brady Retires + Uncle Chaps

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, Tom Brady officially retires. We have Hank's poem I think he's writing.
Who knows? His reaction, all the takes. Adam Schefter was right.
Hot seat, cool thrown. And then we have an awesome, awesome interview for you Bengals fans.
Sam Hubbard, Cincinnati native. He has made the big sack on Patrick Mahomes, had an incredible year.
We talked to him about going to the Super Bowl, the playoffs, Joe Burrow, everything. And then we have our good friend Uncle Chaps on the show to catch up with chaps.
So an awesome pack show for you. It is all brought to you by our friends at Cross Country Mortgage.
The experts at Cross Country Mortgage might not be doing doling out concussions or breaking bones like football players on the field, but they're dedicated to doing whatever it takes to get you into the home of your dreams. Cross Country Mortgage has a team of loan officers dedicated to getting it done and finding you the best possible loan terms available.
They have an average close time of 21 days, which is crazy fast, with a huge variety of products. They cover everything from renovations to refinancing and everything in between.
So go with the players that will make the plays for you when buying a home. Cross Country Mortgage is dedicated to getting it done for you.
Go to crosscountrymortgage.com slash barstool. Cross Country Mortgage can take care of you through the home buying process.
Cross Country Mortgage LLC NMLS 3029. All loans subject to underwriting approval.
www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org. crosscountrymortgage.com slash barstool.
Go check them out today. We love Cross Country Mortgage.
One of our favorite sponsors. crosscountrymortgage.com slash barstool.
Go check them out today.

We love Cross Country Mortgage.

One of our favorite sponsors, crosscountrymortgage.com slash barstool.

Okay, let's go.

Boy!

Boy!

Now in the street there is violence.

And I'm not allowed to lot of work to be done

No place to hang out or wash in

And then I can't blame all on the sun

Oh no

We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue

And then we'll take it higher

Oh we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue

And then we'll take it higher oh we gotta ride down to electric avenue and then we'll take it higher it's part of my take presented by barstool sports welcome to part of my take presented by crosscountrymortgage.com go to crosscountrymortgage.com slash barstool today and talk to a cross country mortgage representative today is Wednesday, February 2nd, and Tom Brady has officially retired. Thank you, Tom.
Tom Brady. Jeff Darlington was right.
Jeff Darlington was right. Adam Schefter was doing, you know what? P-boy, I got to give him credit.
He started liking some tweets that were bashing him over the last few days he deserves this it goes both ways here we had some fun at his expense we were all hoping that Brady was going to do a spite tour right in his face but Schefter was right so he gets to dunk on everyone well no he can't dunk he gets to take a jump shot he probably can't even get rimmed he's got he probably takes a jump shot. He's got the torn meniscus.
Yeah, so where do we want to go from here, Hank? Because I know... Let's keep it on Schefter for a quick second.
I know. Well, you asked me a question.
Darius Butler tweeted this, and I'm just curious because you guys are big Js. You cover the sport.
You care about the players. I thought Darius Butler made an interesting point.
He said, everybody's got a job to do.

Shefty and Darlington are two of the best at what they do. I get it.
But damn, two of my former teammates slash QBs had their retirements fucked up. Not cool in my book.
I think guys at least deserve that. My two cents.
Okay, so how did Tom Brady have his retirement fucked up? He was on vacation. I think in Hank's mind.
You guys have no respect for vacations. That's true.
In Hank's mind, if Schefter and Darlington hadn't reported this on Saturday,

but... On vacation, you guys have no respect for vacations.
That's true. In Hank's mind, if Schefter and Darlington hadn't reported this on Saturday, Brady would have been more prepared and would have had a glowing long note about how great New England was and his time with the Patriots was.
But because it was preemptive, he kind of got rushed into it and just forgot about you. I think, and this could be denial, I think it's coming.
I don't think that. I think it was always the plan.
He technically was a buccaneer. He's a consummate professional.
So technically, today he retired from the Buccaneers. He is going to New England.
He is signing a one-day Patriot contract. There is going to be a ceremony.
Has that been reported? Yes. I thought that was a fake account.
There was one blue checkmark who tweeted it, but I have... No, I saw one an hour ago.
Okay, it was a fake account. No, there was a blue checkmark, but I don't know how valid it is.
Okay, so there was one that said it's happening tomorrow. That was fake.
But then another one that was like, Tom Brady has talked to Mr. Kraft.
He is going to sign a Patriot. It didn't say date or anything, but it's happening.
So for anyone who missed, I don't know how you missed, but not everyone's online all the time, but Tom Brady listed a notes app retirement where he first posted a picture. Hank, did you see that it was the picture of him in a Bucs uniform against the Patriots? Someone noted that.
I don't know if that was specifically chosen for any reason. He doesn't probably run his social media.
Yeah, he probably doesn't for his retirement. And then he posted a bunch, a series of notes thanking the Bucs, the Buccaneers organization, Alex Guerrero, the fans of the Bucs, his family, his agent.
He thanked the city of Tampa and I think the city of St. Petersburg.
Yeah, he did. He threw in St.
Petersburg. The entire region.
And he didn't thank the Patriots or Patriot fans. That is the big question coming from his retirement.
And my initial reaction was like, oh, it's got to be coming. It's got to be coming.
There was a lot of backlash. A lot of Patriots fans were very upset.
My group text with my friends from home was firing away. And then like three hours later after the backlash, the Patriots put up a statement.
And Tom Brady basically, it looked like it may have been a – he realized there was a lot of backlash, so he has to say something. So he kind of just quote-tweeted it with a very, like, love you, Patriots nation.
It's nothing but love here. But it did come across like – An afterthought.
He maybe wasn't thinking about it. Yeah.
No, it was a quote-tweet. Which is not what I think.
I think it's still coming, but that was tough evidence against the contrary. So, a spin zone, though, would be like, he is so bad at quitting, it makes him even more of a winner.
Like, this is a pretty bad retirement. Well, Schefter rushed him.
He did rush him. He rushed his ass.
He played his, yeah. He forced him into his hand.
Brady made a mistake of partnering up with ESPN because ESPN, as they have in the past, they fucked him. They had him in his document series, and then they fucking leaked the news before he was ready.
When he's on vacation on a boat with his family, trying to enjoy his time off, and he can't. He's probably just, ugh.
I know people are saying, like, it's ridiculous to react that way if you're a Patriots fan, but I do think it's kind of weird that he didn't... Like, it was weird seeing his retirement entire list,

and it was like, wait, is this just retirement from the Bucs?

It was a little odd.

For someone who's very calculated,

you can't say that it wasn't just a little like,

huh, that's weird.

It was very odd, and this is what I was arguing with my friends about.

Yes, Tom Brady technically owes Patriots fans nothing, but you still would like to see it. A tip of the cap? Yeah, tip of the cap, anything.
I'm not mad at Tom Brady. I'm not going to hold it against him, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt.
I would be lying if I said I was scrolling and I wasn't waiting for, you know, like you said. You're like, here comes my slugs.
Yeah. You know, fans.
Brady Ford. To the Patriots fans.
Thank you, Hank. To the people that got arrested for me and defended my name when I got suspended by Roger Goodell.
And, you know, we're there for 20 years as I was a 23-year-old now. Imagine if he thanked Roger Goodell.
No. Oh, my God.
Roger Goodell thanked him, which was a little like, okay, cool, Roger. He ate your guts.
Do you think Darlington is – do you think his source was Antonio Brown? Because we know they're very close. Maybe he got his source ahead of time, like Tom Brady mentioned it, and Antonio Brown's in the next room in his bedroom.
Darlington has been right about all the Brady stuff. Like, he's very close to Brady's, like, camp.
He was right about Brady. Let's see if this was a direct shot at Hank.
He was right about Brady. Who are you calling, Jeff? Yeah.
He was right about Brady going to, from New England, or leaving New England. He was on that early.
Yeah, we could have just called him through the hey jeff you're on you're on part of my take right now heads up i'm not trying to uh shannon sharp you um do you think that tom brady's retirement and the lack of mentioning of the new england patriots fans was a direct shot at hank but no i think that I think that the tribute to Hank is still coming.

That's a... Thank you.

Thank you.

That's going to be a highly produced video.

I was going to mention that in my previous reporting,

but I figured I didn't want to

ruin things for Hank.

Okay. Thank you, Jeff.

He says thank you very much.

Pifty's so mad about that answer.

Yeah, so from your conversations with Tom, has he mentioned Hank to you ever? I'm not trying to make this about me, by the way. He talks about him.
He appreciates him. He loves his continued support and loyalty and hopes that he will take this next ride, whatever that is, with him.
And I will. I think I speak for everybody when I say that, not just Tom.
Okay, thank you, Jeff. I appreciate the insight on everything.
And congratulations on being right. That's always the goal, isn't it? Yep, you got it.
See you, buddy. Okay, so Tom Brady thinks about you, Hank.
Is that enough? It was always enough'm i again like i said and jeff just confirmed it shadow line shout shadow line productions it's coming it's coming the video there was still weird that it didn't there was nothing but he was rushed yeah yeah he was rushed that's true he was rushed there were a lot of allusions to the video like imagine i know it started it is kind of funny how we talked about the uh the last episode of of the last or whatever the fuck it is man in the arena and how that all kind of came to fruition but think about this and you know to darrys beller's point adam schepter absolutely fucked over andrew luck like had the most awkward retirement ceremony of all time that was bad on the field bad scumbag move brady on vacation trying to fucking make money for espn and make his last episode about his retirement which i'm sure there's going to be an unbelievable montage to patriots fans that was his original plan shefter fucking ruined it and so he had he had to come out and say that he had to do this all right i'm gonna retire from the bucks but know. I don't know.
Counterpoint. It's an emotional day.
In defense of P-Boy, he is in a contract year. He's got to get the scoops.
He's in a contract year. And he's done so much for ESPN.
He's improved his stock not only internally with ESPN, but also externally with other companies. Yes.
So there's got to be a sense, though, that you're like, you want me to be mad at Tom Brady?

Tom Pifty does one.

You were trying to be mad.

You like to shape my narratives.

I like to rattle your cage a little bit.

But I don't think Hank's that mad.

I'm just calling it like I see it.

If nothing comes, I'll be furious.

But I don't think that's going to happen.

You have to admit, though, Big Cat,

it is funny how Hank has built up in his head

there's a giant specially produced montage

that he's been working on for years.

and he's a giant specially produced montage that he's been working on for years. There might be.
Dude, he has his shadow like he's got the production company. He's doing a fucking documentary series.
Why wouldn't it come? Do you think it's not coming? The montage? Yeah. This is like the Isaiah Thomas thank you video that never came.
No, it's not. It will come now because it might not have been planned all along, but it's clear people are like, what the hell is going on? Okay.
Yeah. You know what I mean? It is interesting how Big Cat pointed out.
I think it hasn't waited long because that's how the whole thing got leaked. It was the picture of the game against the Patriots.
Yeah, someone tweeted that. I was like, well, that's kind of weird.
That part was weird. That part is weird.
The whole thing is a little weird to me. I don't know.
I read it and I was like, okay. I mean, I guess technically he did retire from the Patriots.
He said his thank you when he left the Patriots. Now he's retiring from football.
He's retiring from the Bucs. But it did feel like, wait, why wouldn't he at least mention it unless there's something big coming, which I actually agree with Hank, there probably is.
There's definitely an element of denial, and you've got to trust your partner who's been there for you for 20 years and just hope that what you're seeing isn't the whole story. It's like somebody dying and they leave their entire estate to their most recent wife they're like 20 year old wife that they married six months ago none of the kids meanwhile you're over here you've got you've got grandkids to put through college yeah you're like what am i what did this mean anything that that is kind of how it feels what do you say billy i had a wild take okay tom brady you want to say your other wild take you said off air that was pretty pretty wild? I'll get to that Tom Brady retired because he had AIDS? No No, what? Tom Brady retired because he bit his lip in the divisional round No, just saying No, I'm saying You're actually right That's not what I'm saying He didn't bite his lip He got bloody lip He got bloody lip But it's like his family sees that probably, he's a sentimental guy.

Right.

They saw the blood for the first time.

And then it was kind of like, oh, like.

That's it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Anyway, Tom Brady unretires, comes back, plays for the Patriots,

and that's why he's not thanking the Patriots yet.

Oh.

With the Patriots? With the back though?

Look.

Spicy.

He's like, look, this take. Yeah.
It's going to be a one one day contract. It's going to be like a one year contract.
This is 3D chess. He's using this to go back to the Patriots because the Buccaneers, he doesn't think can take him to another Super Bowl, but the Patriots could.
Yes, Billy. And that's why he was so gracious to the Buccaneers who does this.
The Buccaneers can't say anything because they got their own post. They were like, look, I said the Glazers were great.
Exactly. I could actually see Tom Brady coming back, signing a one-day contract.
And on his one-day contract, he actually goes and practices. And then he's like, you know what? I think there's still some juice left in this arm.
Mentors Mac Jones. Mac Jones takes a backseat.
Then the saga continues. I like it, Billy.
It's a good take. Yeah.
It would happen. In Gronk's future, totally dependent on all that.
Gronk probably. Gronk's got a house in Foxborough.
Owns the eSports team in Foxborough. I imagine Gronk showing up to OTAs and being like, where's Tom? Like, he retired.
It was a one-day contract. Oh, fuck.
Gronk. They could probably say, like, we signed Tom.
Gronk, you want to come back to New England? He's like, sure. And then he doesn't realize that Tom's not actually going to play the season.
Right. It is a weird spot we're in right now, though, because I think Hank doesn't want to get mad, but is ready to maybe get mad and pft really desperately wants hank to be mad right now i want that's a great summation of where we're at i want him to own his emotions big cat i don't like to deny hank said several times in this in this podcast already like this might be denial we'll see right he's the all the facts have to come out he's standing back and standing by to get mad he is that's what's happening right now.
He's a proud boy. I'm not going to throw away 20 years and six Super Bowls for one Instagram post.
The punishment doesn't fit the crime. Right.
But we'll see how it goes. Now, when Tom does make this inevitable Oscar-worthy montage about New England Patriots fans, and specifically you, isn't it going to feel like he wasn't going to do this until you got so mad at him and you pressured him into it? No, because fucking P-Boy.
Yeah, P-Boy. This was all going to be in the episode.
I think in Tom's head, it was all going to be in the episode, and when the episode dropped, the announcement would all come out. Yep, and P-Boy, yeah.
And P-Boy fucked it up. He fucked it all up and he couldn't like sit there and pretend to hem and haw for two weeks because he was getting like bombarded um i mean it is a weird it's weird how it all went down but he is retired he's greatest of all time i actually had billy look up i said billy find me all the crazy tom brady stats so he can give it to us because I do think he deserves that incredible career.
He's going to be the spot where everyone compares every quarterback going forward. Unfairly, but that is what it will be.
How about this take? He's like the Bill Russell of football, except he played in the modern era. Whoa.
That's good. You know, Bill Russell's numbers are insane.
It's like 10 championships, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But it's like, oh, but he played so long ago.
When you look at Brady's numbers compared to his competitors, that's what it is. Do you have the...
I got them all. Seven Super Bowls will not...
I'm going to safely... I really do not think that will be touched by a starting quarterback.
There's only been – there's four quarterbacks in the NFL who have three Super Bowls or more. Think about that.
So it's not – it's very, very rare air to just have three or more. There's two guys with four, Terry Bradshaw and Joe Montana, and then Tom Brady has seven.
The stats that take Tom Brady's numbers, and then they combine like Drew Brees, Peyton Manning, and then Brady's are still higher. Those are the ones that are mind-blowing.
You know what sucks, though, is that they added the game. So a lot of his, like, yardage stats, TD stats.
Those I agree. Those will be passed because, like, think about Mahomes.
When he started, the time that Mahomes started, like, Brady still played in an NFL that wasn't all passing. Like, there was some time there where it wasn't, you know, Peyton Manning was doing it, but not everyone.
So I think those stats will probably fall. But seven Super Bowls as a starting quarterback, that's really, really hard to do.
What's also crazy is he did play in those two different eras where they changed the rules because of what his Patriots team did specifically to Peyton Manning, which ended up benefiting Tom Brady way more than it ever benefited Peyton Manning. Yeah.
And what was the... I mean, you'll get to the stats, but the one that's just...
What, he played 20 years total? Was that it? Or 22? He played 49% of his lifetime, and I'll give you the exact... But he made the Super Bowl half of his years half of his years right? he's more likely to make a Super Bowl than Steph Curry he made 12.7% of all Super Bowls actually he might have won let me get to the stats I'm excited for these 35 playoff wins whoa I'm so sorry that we didn't Billy.
Maybe. I like that you let off with that.
No, maybe. That's a great callback, Billy.
Maybe. 35 playoff wins.
Stuck on 35 forever. Oh, no.
Mr. 35.
Most passing yards ever. Most passing touchdowns ever.
Most completions ever. Most playoff passing yards ever.
Most playoff passing yards. Most playoff passing touchdowns ever.
Most playoff completions ever. Most wins ever.
Most playoff wins ever. Most Super Bowl wins ever.
Most Super Bowl MVPs ever. This is Hank's favorite fucking rap ever.
That's great. Keep going.
Tom Brady has won 12.7% of all Super Bowls in history. So that's one.
That's crazy. Yeah.
And he's been... Yeah, go ahead.
Keep going. Quick math.
Sorry. 16.8.
What? Okay. He's been to 16.8.
Is that right? No, that's quick math. Oh.
Tom Brady's... Quick math, 17.2.
Tom Brady's career gambling stats against the spread. I asked him to put this in.
He was 211 for 144 with eight pushes. 211 to 144.
That's incredible. It's even more incredible that he was the favorite the entire time.
Yes. And he's still a master.
Covered spreads. Like that's, I know that most those stats don't get kept in Canton, but those stats matter.
There should be a gambling hall of fame. Yeah.
Absolutely. He's in it.
Teddy Bridgewater. Yep.
Coach O. Interim Ed.
Team win total over. Like team wins in a season, 16, 3, and 2.
Whoa, okay. So they hit the Vegas odds 16 times out of 20.
And those were, in the prime years, those were like 12 and a half. Right.
Those were absurd. I don't think it's ever been lower than 10.
Yeah. Yeah, that's nuts.
Okay. Like those pushes were probably like 13 or 14 win seasons.
If you were to bet $100 on whatever team he played on winning the conference, you'd be plus $4,050. That's nuts.
Okay. If you bet $100 on whatever team he was on winning the NFL title, he would have had $9,550.
So if you just bet Tom Brady to win the Super Bowl every single year For his entire career If you take out the 2008 ACL year Tom Brady was a starting quarterback for 20 seasons In those he had more Super Bowl wins Seven than seasons that ended before the conference championship round Six What? Now that's insane I'll be blogging all of these and giving credit to all the people who gave

these stats.

Say that one again, because that one's insane. So he played 20 years, and he had seven Super Bowl wins, and there was only six times in his 20 years where his season didn't get to the conference championship.
Exactly. Wow.
So these are Tom Brady's stats from his 20s. he had 21,000 yards

147 touchdowns

three Super Bowl championships and two Super Bowl MVPs in his 20s. That's one Hall of Fame career.
In his 30s, he had 40,000 yards passing, 309 touchdowns, two-time MVP, two-time Offensive Player of the Year,

one Super Bowl championship, and one Super Bowl MVP.

That's another Hall of Fame career.

Those were his prime years.

In his 40s, he had 23,000 yards, 168 touchdowns,

three Super Bowl championships, two Super Bowl MVPs, and one league MVP. That's crazy.
That's three Hall of Fame careers for every decade. I think he's the best winner of all time.
Yeah. He's the most winningest winner of all time.
I know we said this on Monday, but he beat time. He did not fall off a cliff.
It's weird because I think a lot of people, knowing that Brady kept on saying, I'm going to play forever, I'm going to play forever, everyone thought it was going to be like a Super Bowl that he walks out of. Almost like a Peyton Manning, maybe his arm's a little shot.
It's almost perfect how he did go out. He went out almost coming back 27-3, guns blazing.
His last touchdown throw was that bomb to Mike Evans in a year that he had his most yards. You won't think of an old Tom Brady.
You just don't. We need to track down that ball.
Billy's hot on the case to try to find the ball that Mike Evans gave away illegally, you might add. Was Mike Evans an agent of the team that could give away team property? That ball is worth a lot of money.
He's thrown touchdowns to 92 different players. Number one being Gronkowski with 102 touchdowns.
Two to Julian Edelman with 41 touchdowns. Shout Jules.
Three, Randy Moss with 40 touchdowns. Welker with 38, and Deion Branch with 28.
Okay. Also a couple to Woodhead.
Happy birthday, Danny Woodhead. We forgot about Danny's birthday.
Birthday week. Anything else? Yeah, we all have more.
Oh, okay. In the 20 seasons he started, not including his ACL season, he played in 10 Super Bowls.
so there was a 50% chance that he was going to the Super Bowl in his career. Nuts.
Brady's teams made the playoffs in 19 of his 20 seasons, and he's won the division 18 times. So real question, what happened in 2002? So that was the year they didn't go to the playoffs, so that he wasn't injured.
Yeah. After they won their Super Bowl.
Hangover. So they won three out of four Super Bowls, and that was the year they didn't win it.
And it was like their first Super Bowl was kind of a defense. He was still coming into his own.
He was 9-7 that year. So letdown year.
Not that bad. So joining to hear how many wins he had he had in each season he started? Please.
01, he had 11 wins. Nice.
02, he had 9 wins. 03, he had 14 wins.
04, 14 wins. 05, 10 wins.
06, 12 wins. 07, 16 wins.
09, 10 wins. 10, 14 wins.
Okay, I'm going to stop it right here. I feel like that's enough.
That was like halfway there. 13 wins in 11, and then 12 wins till 15 every year.
This is a Mike Francesa segment. 11 wins in 16, 13 in 17, 11 in 18, 12 in 19, 11 in 20, then 13 in 21.
Should we do how many playoff wins he got in each of those years?

Hank, do you have a poem for him? You said that you were

going to write Tom Brady a poem. Wait, wait, there's more stats.

I had to get it prepared. I don't.

I'll get it. It will

coincide with the video that he releases.

More stats.

The days between Tom Brady's birth

and Tom Brady being drafted were

8,292. The days between Tom Brady getting drafted and retiring, 7,961.
So if you do the math, he's in the NFL for 49% of his lifetime. Basically half of his lifetime.
Okay, that's nuts. There's more.
Okay. In 22 seasons, Brady missed only 15 games due to injury, in 2008.
And one knee injury and a four-game suspension. Those are the only games he lost.
He missed. He was the top two in passing, rushing, receiving yards amongst all NFL players 40 years or older.
And the New England population increased,

had huge birth rate increases in every year after a Super Bowl win.

Okay, bonk.

He also makes way less than his wife, Giselle.

Giselle has almost a net worth of a billion dollars of career earnings.

So he's a feminist.

And he makes way less than that.

She's the girl boss. Love that.
Number one in NFL career earnings and So he's a feminist. And he makes way less than that.
She's the girl boss.

Love that.

Number one in NFL career earnings

and around $300 million.

So the biggest sport in America,

the best player ever,

still doesn't make as much as his wife.

Love it.

Flex.

That shows you.

Glorified stay-at-home dad.

And his wife is like

the most beautiful person in the world.

Inside and out.

So Tom Brady, yeah,

I was saying inside, but also out.

Yeah, you're right.

She is a supermodel too.

But Tom Brady's saying like,

you know what?

I have won more than any person will ever win in their life

in the most important sport in America.

And I'm going to walk away from that

so that I can hang out with my gorgeous wife

who's a billionaire.

Yeah.

Damn.

It's crazy. All of it's crazy all that's crazy that that state that word that sentence alone puts you in the hall of fame yeah what a career insane um anything anything else hank mount rushmore on the yeah it's greeny that was such such a greeny fucking tweet i think tom brady's on the mount rush Like, just totally, like, this is my input on Tom Brady.
Yeah, no shit, Greeny. I would, you know what? I'm very much looking forward to the, like we said, Bill Belichick loves the football history.
When he does do these, you know, retirement notes or whatever, I think the one he gives to Brady will be very detailed, very emotional. I hope that it's not this petty beef that, youFTs and media whores of the world are trying to...
You're talking about Floria there, right? Whoever. Everyone that's trying to separate Tom Brady from the Patriots and make it seem like it's an us versus him thing.
Including maybe Tom Brady? No. Well, if he doesn't release the video.
Right. That's what I'm saying.
If he doesn't release a video, that would mean Belichick's probably not going to release a heartfelt, emotional statement, and that would hurt. Belichick's just going to give a line at the combine.
But that's the thing. What does Tom Brady mean to you? That's what people...
But it's like when Belichick... It's like when they ask him about a punter and he fucking talks for 20 minutes.
When it's football history related and he does need to open up, he does open up up so it's like you you would hope i don't know if he's gonna open up though i think he's of course you don't i know i i'm saying knowing belichick a little bit i think he's gonna say like tom you were but that you were the best player ever coach no i i i think what hank is saying is that belichick does have moments where like even the bill and bill uh 30 for 30 was whereas Parcells, he enjoys talking about the history of the NFL. So when Tom Brady is no longer a competitor in the NFL, he will talk about him as part of the history of the NFL.
I would put this whole retirement saga on the Mount Rushmore of... Stupid manufactured drama from the media.

Mount Rushmore of crazy retirements.

Like the most drama-filled retirements.

You have Brett Favre.

Andrew Luck.

Andrew Luck.

Jordan coming back. Jordan coming back.

A couple times.

Bud Dwyer at his press conference.

And Barbaro the horse.

There you go.

My favorite Tom Brady memory is I was watching,

it was a Patriots Colts game and I was at my grandpa's house sitting on the

couch and Brady was warming up and my grandpa just pointed at him and said,

I think I was like, I think I was like six, five or six.

And he just points at Tom Brady and goes, see that guy, Superbowl winner,

you know, like good looking guy has a supermodel wife.

If you want to be like anybody on this planet and model your life after anybody, be Tom Brady. That's how you made it here.
Yeah, that is. Yeah, what would Tom Brady do? He'd want to hang out with Hank.
That's what Billy decided to do. Yeah, Jeff Darlington told us that.
He reported it first on this podcast. Okay, anything else before we get to Hot Seat Cool Throne got a i think a couple coaching carousel things yep the the vegas uh the vegas raiders hired josh mcdaniels yep so um i remember when he came back from indianapolis belichick would he was like i'm going to open up my world to you and teach you all the things that i haven't taught you before.
So I think this time it's with Coach's blessing, right? Yes. He sent him out there and he said, okay, go west, young man.
So I think it's a good hire, right? I feel like if you want a guy that's going to get the most out of Derek Carr, McDaniels makes sense. Yeah, and I mean, I heard he was making $4 million as a coordinator for the Patriots, which is pretty crazy.
But obviously McDaniels, he's got an ego. Not in a bad way.
I'm just saying he wants to run the show again. Mark Davis, his haircut just gets funnier and funnier.
I saw that press conference. It's like, how does he go out in public in this? But he just keeps on doing it.
He keeps running the same play. Makes me laugh every single time.
I think it's kind of of swaggy. I like his haircut because it's different.
It is different. It's different.
No one will ever copy Mark Davis's haircut. Nobody will mistake.
Nobody's going to walk down the street and somebody will go up to him and be like, hey, are you Mark Davis? And be wrong about it. You see him coming.
We also had Brian Dable get out of his truck with his suit, and everyone made a big deal about that. I love the truck videos.
I love the let's get to work videos where people just drive into a parking lot and then they walk into a building. Yeah.
And I imagine the little time we spent with Brian Dable and what I know of the guy, I bet you he came to work in his sweatsuit and then the social media intern was like, coach, can you actually put on suit and go around the block real quick and and we got to videotape this so that everyone knows that we're serious about getting to work uh-huh and then there was a there was a helmet controversy right i didn't even follow that i didn't follow that he like had he had like mike glennon's helmet or something it was very no she was saying it was attention lack of attention to detail it's like yeah yeah that doesn't have anything to do with playing football, Stephen. Yeah, right.
And also, you're hiring a new coach. That means that your franchise probably isn't that great right now.
Yeah. Also, you've got to give new coaches a little bit of a leash when it comes to knowing your team's operations and their traditions.
Right. There's a learning curve to that.
I remember when the football team hired Jim Zorn, and he said, your colors are maroon and black. He just needed a couple of years to figure it out and it'll all be fine right uh but the whole i think the social media teams like got together this offseason because you know they talk they have little conferences where they share best practices and they're like you know what's going to be hot in 2022 driving to work videos yeah guys showing up early guys getting out of their truck and then walking through a door that's going to do num do numbies.
It's just confidence. It gives the fan base confidence being like, you know what? Before the sun even rises, they're at work.
I do like Dable, though. I think he's a good hire.
Yeah, no, I like him, too. When we had him on the show, it was awesome.
So hopefully he'll come back on. Anything else? Any other hires? The Jaguars hired Byron Leftwich like three days ago we'll talk to chaps about that uh the texans are interviewing they interviewed flores and josh mccown i saw they're gonna hire mccown i think yeah florio was all over that a couple years or a year ago yeah mccown i think is going to be a head coach there and then the saints i think are looking at just promoting dennis right? They're going to interview some other people.
That's, by the way, because now that Brady's retired, I think we as a group should do a group bet on one more year, Matt Ryan, Atlanta Falcons winning the South. Because that's a disaster of a division now.
With Matt Rule, what are they going to do at quarterback? You don't have Sean Payton anymore. What are they going to do at quarterback? You got the Bucs who I feel like if they can't get someone in place right now, if they can get Aaron Rodgers, obviously they put it back together.
But there's a lot of guys that I feel like we're going to take less money to try to win a Super Bowl. That might unravel pretty quickly.
What if it was Jimmy G? Jimmy G to the Bucs. I don't know.
Falcons, man. What about isn't Jameis still under contract in New Orleans? I don't know what his contract situation is.
He also, when did he tear his ACL? It was October, I think. It might be a little funky for him.
You think he's a slow healer? I've seen his training videos. I don't know.
They're going to have a dog lock on with its jaws to his knee, and he's going to be running wind sprints in it. He'll be ready in like two weeks.
Jameis Winston signed a one-year contract with the Saints, so he is a free agent. So he can go anywhere he wants.
But right now it says on Spot spot right. Yeah, no, I think he's a free agent.
So someone go get Jameis. Someone go get Jameis.
Jameis holds the keys to funny quarterback play. So we need Jameis.
Yeah. The Washington football team is announcing its new name this morning.
Yep. We're just going to operate under the assumption that it's the Commanders.
Yep and here's my entire thoughts on the washington commanders if you win games people will be fine with it yep it's a perfectly boring name it's almost like a perfect name for a new nfl franchise if you were starting a brand new one where it's like just so bland that you almost forget about it after you hear it so you know people are going to hate because's – they were going to hate no matter what the name was because the internet is going to have 48 hours where they just roast everything. But then if you lose, the name is going to suck.
If you win, it's a fine name. Yeah.
No, I was just going to add that it's just deal with the 24 hours and everyone roasts it and then no one will remember anymore. Yeah.
So who cares? are the what are the indians now the spiders guardians guardians okay so i already forgot yeah see guardians and commanders they're kind of they're very similar and you forget and then you just like you see it and it's like oh i don't care football's on yeah put the stadium in dc that's what i care about yeah maybe win a playoff game we're the commies now let's go to uh hot seat cool throne hot seat cool throne brought you by our friends at Coors Light. What do you do when you need a moment to chill? How do you hit the reset button? You grab a Coors Light.
Coors Light is mountain cold refreshment made to chill. Coors Light is cold lager, cold filtered, and cold packaged.
It's literally made to chill. It's as crisp and refreshing as the Colorado Rockies.
Perfect for a moment to unwind. When you crack open a nice ice-cold Coors Light, you can maybe stop with that go, go, go feeling that you got, the hustle and bustle.
You can sit down, enjoy family, enjoy friends with a nice cold, ice-cold Coors Light. Coors Light is the one to choose when you need to unwind, so when you want to hit that reset, reach for the beer that's made to chill.
Get Coors Light in the new look delivered straight to your door with Drizzly or Instacart by going to CoorsLight.com slash take celebrate responsibly Coors Brewing Company Golden Colorado CoorsLight.com slash take crack open a Coors Light make sure those mountains are blue CoorsLight.com slash take Hank my hot seat is the MLB uh-oh the MLB and the Major League Baseball Players Association made little progress in their latest meeting, and a delay to the upcoming season feels inevitable. Frank's going to be mad.
That was reported at 340 today, not too long ago. All-time stock graphic.
Jake pointed this out on Twitter. The photo that accompanied it was a baseball with a chain and lock on it and the baseball on top.
So it's an all-time stock photo for an announcement. I love that.
Yeah, you know what? I don't make it a practice to care about baseball until like three days before opening day. I just – It might not come until Julyuly i hope that they just figure it out silently like

figure it out baseball this is one sport that really can't afford to lose any fans that are out there yeah just just fucking figure it out we don't like don't tell us how it gets done just get it done you know what is it because the pft is right like if if if april comes around on the If April comes around and it's like, hey, where's baseball?

We're going to be pissed.

And we aren't going to be pissed before that. No.
So you've got to do it now. Like, I'm not going to care that pitchers and catchers haven't reported.
Although, actually, no, I'm going to care a little bit right after the Super Bowl when it's usually that one day that comes like two months before anybody sees it coming, when it's like pitchers and catchers report today. And you're like, wait, there's snow on the ground outside.
I like that one day. I'll be willing to sacrifice that one day as long as it's just there in April.
If there's April baseball, I'm fine with it. But yeah, I really couldn't bring myself to care less about what they're actually negotiating because it's so complicated that I don't understand.
Just pay the players a little bit more. There you go.
End of story. Boom.
Speaking of things I couldn't care less about, my cool throne is me and my stubbornness. For the past two or three weeks, my group text with all my family members and a lot of my Twitter feed has been hijacked by this stupid fucking Wordle game.
Never played it. Didn't give in.
I was like, I don't like words. I don't like to read.
I'm not getting involved uh they got bought by the new york times and now people are mad they're like you know it's been ruined jumped the shark but we beat it yeah so i think hopefully this is the beginning of the end and people stop posting those stupid boxes yeah because no one fucking cares about i love it i love so we we made a pact on this show that we were gonna we're gonna hold out until world went away jake um i've been playing i play i don't post i think it's very annoying when people post i've also i've been secretly playing i got no problem people playing it yeah the post thing is annoying text is like you know usually it doesn't really pop off and something's going on there's a conversation every fucking day it's like six people with their wordle score it's like yeah i don't i don't post's weird, but I have been playing it. I actually did.
I love you guys. I keep it packed, and I stick to it.
I read the backstory behind how it was developed, which is kind of cool. The guy made it to impress his wife, who loves word games, so he just made it as a fun thing for her.
Now he sold it, and he's a millionaire. That's good for that guy.
And then I saw some people getting mad at him for selling for selling this. Like, this guy doesn't owe you anything.
Okay, I understand that you're a long time fan of his and that he's been very good to you and giving you hours and hours of entertainment. But that doesn't mean that he owes you anything when he decides to make a career move for himself.
Correct. Just because you're a fan.
Also, there's now Nurdle, which is a math equation. I did it for the first time.
Cut his mic off. You'll probably play at P pft you'll get us to do a pack it was a good time i'm just not gonna post the square i don't do math you guys know that um all right uh your hot seat culture on pft my hot seat is thumbs put thumbs on the hot seat this week kenny pickett had initial hand measurement that was eight and a quarter inches which would put him in the 0 percentile for NFL quarterbacks.
All-time small hands, which is why I noticed he didn't answer a question about his hands when he was on part of my take. But plot twist, he's actually got an issue with his hand that affects the hand size.
He's double-jointed, not a drug guy. He's double-jointed in his thumb,

so it makes it like he's playing claw grip on the football.

It's very bizarre.

You have it, Billy?

I also have double-jointed thumbs.

Yeah.

When you see it, it looks like he's just not stretching his hand out.

I don't understand.

Like, I can pop my thumb out.

Yeah, like that.

Yeah, his couldn't fully go all the way out.

It was very weird.

It's like he's like this, like making the claw with his thumb.

Yeah.

So he's doing exercises and stretches to increase the width of his hand.

I'm sure he'll be fine by draft day.

We still are a Kenny Pickett podcast here.

Correct.

If he needs any, Billy will come and straighten your,

as a fellow quarterback with double-jointed thumbs,

Billy will take care of your thumbs. Kenny Pickett.? I have a question about can you pick the glove thing? So my one thing about the glove thing is that when you get new gloves, they're stickier.
And they get less sticky over time. So is he, for consistency, I think he is.
Is he showing up with new gloves at every game? I think he's changing them. Like, routinely.
Maybe not new every game, but I think he routinely changes

them. Because I've seen them, they look fresh.

Because... They don't look

worn in gloves. Yeah.
Because

that's my only thing about... It's grip.

The reason people like big hands for the ball

is grip. Right.
And the gloves help with

grip. But then it's consistency

with throwing with gloves. Right.

If it gets slicker over time.

Next time we have them on, we'll ask him. Breaking moves.
Breaking moves. Hank just sent this in the PMT group chat here.
Brian Flores is suing the NFL and the Giants, alleging racism and hiring includes private text from Belichick. He also says that Stephen Ross, the owner of the Miami Dolphins, offered to pay him $100,000 for every loss during the 2019 season to help the team get a better draft spot.
And that Ross was pissed when he kept winning. If this is true, Roger Goodell should probably get Stephen Ross out of the league, right? Whoa.
It also is crazy because what he's saying right now is that the suit includes texts from Bill Belichick that appear to show him congratulating Brian Flores on getting the Giants job, but mistakenly believing he was texting Brian Dable. He said the text says, Wow, that's crazy.
Sorry I fucked this up. I double-checked and misread the text.
I think they're naming Brian Dable. I'm sorry about that.
And this was three days before Flores even had his interview. So Belichick was, oh, man, that's as bad as it.
But also, that's definitely Belichick's just doing that to take down the Giants. Yeah, that's actually very smart.
That's absolutely what he's doing. And he's saving his friend, Brian Flores, from taking an interview that he wasn't going to get the job for.
Yeah. Mastermind Belichick move.
He just took down the Giants. For Brady, probably.
And the Dolphins. You think he did it for Brady? Right, and the Dolphins.
Yeah, and the Dolphins. You think he was like, Brady, I'm not going to congratulate you publicly, but I will take down the Giants for you privately.
Makes sense. This would allude to Brady going back to the Patriots.
Yeah, it would. Yeah.
Yes, it would. Yeah.
Or maybe Belichick found out that Brady wanted to play for the Dolphins because he wanted to go to Florida. Yeah, I think he wanted to go to the Dolphins initially, but they said, we're going to start Tua.
Yeah, that's the guy that he said, like, you're going to keep that motherfucker over me, was Tua. Maybe Brady's trying to go to the Dolphins now.
Belichick just dropped a nuke on the entire franchise do you think brady was just trying to establish residency in florida for tax reasons yes this is crazy that stephen ross like if this is true that he was offered to pay flores a hundred thousand dollars for every loss during 2019 that's wild kick him off the tour wow. Find another really rich white guy to take the team over.

In Miami.

Yeah.

Good luck.

All right.

Your cool throne.

My cool throne is the Chinese Zodiac because it's the Lunar New Year today.

Happy New Year.

Quo Chi Fatsai to all those who celebrate.

Big fireworks day.

Huge fireworks day.

And also, it's the year of the tiger.

The Bengals are tigers.

Yep. Just something to think about.
It's true. It's the year of the tiger.
The Bengals are tigers. Yep.

Just something to think about.

It's true.

It's the year of the tiger.

Big cat.

Might be my year, too.

Might be Tiger Woods' year.

Yep.

All these things are true.

My animal's the tiger from when I was born.

That's sick.

Yeah, it's pretty slick.

Dude, Belichick fucked this up so bad.

So bad.

So bad.

That's got to be an all-time oh shit moment. Yeah that i love it that's so awesome um all right my hot seat is uh nfl rigged um i saw this posted on twitter but it was from the official fan page of patrick mahomes um it said kc fans need to understand something nfl football is a sport or a business it's a business first and a sport second What team has the most bills to pay SoFi Stadium it's a multi-billion dollar complex and one of the largest markets in the U.S.
Rams need a Super Bowl appearance and victory to sell all those luxury suites and tickets LA was going to get their Super Bowl the victory was never going to be against Andy Reid Mahomes way too dangerous and very hard to control Cincinnati had a great up-and-coming quarterback decent defense great receivers and a suspect offensive line best candidate for a Rams victory the NFL Goodell could not afford to have Mahomes and the boys ruin the SoFi party Casey made it perfectly clear in the first half totally dominating the Bengals totally different Mahomes played the second half sure a directive came in at halftime from above, business or sport. It's an entertainment business, and it showed big time in Kansas City.
There you go. I like that.
That's good enough for me. The Joe Mixon fumbled people are awesome, too.
They think that we're going to just turn the game back on. The Mixon fumble, he got hit, right? There was contact on the legs, not only after he went down, but also before he went down.
But maybe by his own player, that's what the whole thing was. If your own player lights you up, are you technically down? I think no.
That's the point. And so that's why the Joe Mixon fumble people are.
It's just very funny. Well, after the fact.
Remember, the Saints fans obviously got screwed. But when we were like four days after the fact, they're going to play the Super Bowl, guys.

We moved on.

There's nothing we can do about it.

My cool throne is college basketball because Texas Tech tonight is going to be awesome,

and Chris Beard, what are you going to say?

No, I'm assuming you're going to get to it.

Stool bench problem?

No.

Oh.

Coach Gay?

Any big wins, you know?

I mean, Notre Dame's not very good.

It was a big game. ACC's a dumpster fire.

Oh, come on. ACC's a fucking poverty league.
Jake Poverty's got a big test tonight. No, they're poverty league.
Duke was sloppy entering that game. Yeah, but ACC's a joke right now.
That Texas Tech video where they had all the fans, they were so mad at Chris Beard. Like, screaming, fuck yous.
Like, essentially trying to assault a bus with Chris Beard in it. I love it.
College sports. Psychotic.
Yeah, I mean, the game will be over by the time this is out, but it could get ugly tonight. Could get ugly tonight.
There's a prediction. They've been camping out.
What does that look like, Jake? What does getting ugly look like? I think if Texas Tech wins, you could see some debris on the floor. Oh, I think it's worse.
Wait, is it? Sorry, if Texas wins, you could see. Texas wins.
Yeah, sorry. If Texas Tech fans are mad, you're going to see some debris on the floor.
Very minimum. Some bad words.
Bad words. Bad words and debris.
Bunch of Tennessee Volunteers fans sneaking into the stadium and throwing stuff on the court. Dresses Eagles fans.
Yeah.

All right, Jake, give us your hot seat, Cool Trone.

My hot seat is NFL Red Zone because it looks like it has some company.

NBA revealed crunch time on NBA TV last night, similar format.

Shout out, Billy.

He had a great tweet.

It should be the paint.

I don't understand it.

I like that.

Like, what are we doing here?

Turns out we got it all wrong.

The post that was – it made sound like the NBA named their new show Red Zone. And then somewhere Crunch Time popped up.
I think it was after my tweet. So this is just going to be a channel where we can watch like 10 minute replay reviews? I don't know.
It's another step towards your spread zone idea. Yeah, no, I like it.
I would tune in. It's just funny because NBA games,

the one thing that drives me nuts about watching the NBA

is the end of the games.

It's always very tough to watch because they review every play.

Yeah.

If they made a product where they played the exact same game

like three hours later,

if they rebroadcast the game three hours later

and edited out all the reviews from the end of the game,

I think a lot of people would choose to watch that as if it were live TV. didn't you watch an old version of red zone during the pandemic we did i think i think we did a lot of stuff during the pandemic that was our brains were just yeah stuck in a cave trying to find sports anywhere we could find it yes um are in your cool throne my cool throne is the fellow scorgamiacs oh because the wait is over It is on the Barstool Sportsbook for the Super Bowl.
Whoa! Let's go! Plus 2,500. It's happened in three Super Bowls before.
All three had the Broncos losing. So that's not really good for the Super Bowl.
We have to bet this. Yeah.
What are the odds on it? Plus 2,500. You can bet no for minus10,000.
Why would you do that? No, you're a fucking loser. Yeah.
Yeah. That's crazy.
So the weight is over. That's crazy odds to bet.
Yeah. So it should be fun.
Okay. Awesome, Jake.
Congratulations. I saw your tweet being like, I got a big news coming.
That's what it was. Okay.
That is big news. That's huge news.
All right, Billy, your hot seat, Cool Throne. My hot seat is PFT and I.
We are going to be driving through one of the largest storms we've seen, snow storms, these next couple of days. I'm excited.
Road warrior mentality. I think in order to get off to a good start, we have to...
Did you guys hear this? You hear what he's already doing? What? Like Billy's getting into war mode in a car. Yeah.
Against the snow. It's It's the perfect storm.
Weather's not real. You know what happens in the perfect storm? We drive into the storm.
Everyone dies. They die.
You didn't see the end of the movie. They get over that wave, right? Yeah, but then they die.
And then they die because of that giant wave. Yeah, well guess what? We're not soft like that.
Yeah, okay. We're going through the storm and it's going to be sick.
Where storm gonna hit us the storm starts tonight and it's moving uh eastward from the rocky mountains so we're gonna be driving right through it and we're gonna eclipse it probably wednesday night or so billy's already talking about just skipping the first night and just driving through it and driving all the way we're not skipping we're skipping. We're pretty much skipping.
The first night, you know what? I'm going to fall asleep. That's a smart idea.
It is a smart idea. And I'm going to wake up.
Get as much out of it as in the beginning. I'm going to wake up in the morning and Billy's going to have us in a truck or caravan up in Ontario.
Why would we in Canada? The thing is, he's actually not that it's a smart idea by Billy because the alternative plan was you guys were going to go from Pittsburgh to Cincinnati to Memphis with like a four-hour stop in Cincinnati all in one day, which does not add up. We're not going to make it to the Bass Pro Shop pyramid in time.
I'm saying we gun it first night, not stop in Pittsburgh. Just go straight to Cincinnati.
Iati i'll drive it the east coast is the hardest block if we get through that the problem with this is the problem is if we just go through the first night then we're already behind on our sleep after night one you can you can sleep in road life this is what you wanted yeah i you know why i wanted a normal four day road trip where we're driving 10 hours a day. No, this is normal.
Now we're driving like 16 hours at a time. This is crisis fuel.
This is chocolate milk and Red Bull. This is the two worst planners on the podcast putting this together.
I'm actually a great planner. I mapped this entire thing out.
But now that it's Cincinnati. And build the concept of time.
Right. Time doesn't really exist in your brain sometimes.
But the thing is, we're not going to. When have I been late for anything? No, that's not what it is.
It's more like, we'll stop here, here, here, and here, and then we'll be here, and then we'll stop here for four hours, and then you add it all up, and it's like, I added it with Billy today, and it's like, you won't get to the Bass Pro Shop until like two in the morning. Yeah.
That's that concept of time. In order to have fun, like in order to enjoy Bass Pro Shop, we got to go hard to Cincinnati the first night.
You got to have one hard day of like long driving. I'll stay out of it.
I'm just saying it's very fun to watch. Because if we end up stopping in Pittsburgh, then we wake up the next Thursday morning and I'm down to like wake up at five, even though we're going to probably get to Pittsburgh late at night.
Then we're going to have to drive to Cincinnati. We're going to get there.
It's going to be 10 or 11. Then we do our whole thing, whereas we could just go straight to Cincinnati, roll up probably 3 a.m., get six hours of sleep, 9 o'clock, do what we've got to do in Cincinnati, get on the road by hopefully 1 or 2 then we hit Memphis this road trip alright here's the problem Billy the problem is the problem is I don't wanna start the entire fucking cross country road trip with 6 hours of sleep waking up at 7 o'clock in the morning it's gonna throw off the entire rest of our trip no it's not we're not gonna have fun at the Bass Pro Shop pyramid you can sleep you're not gonna be able to eat the big steak that you wanted to eat I'm gonna eat the big ass steak on 6 hours of sleep no you're not going to have fun at the Bass Pro Shop pyramid You can sleep You're not going to be able to eat the big steak that you wanted to eat I'm going to eat the big ass steak on six hours of sleep No you're not You need your rest Does anybody in Cincinnati have any meth to sell us It's about the memories you make along the way Time doesn't matter We're going to go hard If I will do the driving I will pick you up where we're going And drive straight to Cincinnati That first night.
You can sleep in a reclined front seat. I'm not going to allow myself to fall asleep because I'll be like, Billy will kill us all.
You guys have figured this out. It'll be fine.
It'll be fine. The thing is, if we're late the first day, second day, we're not going to do anything fun.
We're going to get to Bass Pro Shop way too late. We're not going to be able to eat the barbecue there and sit on the top of the pyramid and look at memphis and all its glory that sounds and then we're going to be late because then we're all of our time in the cool spots is me in the morning not when we should be dining and you know talking about planning out our next trip like throughout the like checking on the weather all right so my hot seat is me I'd put you on the next week yeah no you're right you're right this is i may have bit off more than i can chew this is we're road warriors i i was the one who told billy that this made no sense but he has now realized that we sat down this morning i was like you you guys there's time you guys have like days that should be like 40-hour days, but you're trying to get – it made no sense.
No, because I think Billy probably embellished some things that we were going to do during the day. No, no, no.
It was simply like if you woke up in Pittsburgh at 7 a.m. and you drove to Cincinnati, and then you were in Cincinnati for three or four hours.
Oh, you see, that's the thing. We're not going to be in Cincinnati for three hours.
Well, we're going to do the podcast. You want to go eat chili.
You want to go see. We're going to buy chili.
You would have been there for three or four hours. That's rubbing time.
There's rollover time between doing all that stuff. And then going to Memphis, you would have gotten there at midnight, and I was like, that makes no sense.
Yeah, I'd rather go hard. I want to just get to Bass Pro Shop so we can enjoy it.
I'm out of it. I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have said anything to you this morning, Billy.

No.

I'm trying to get you guys

to enjoy it,

but like that...

I think it'll...

Like, it's going to be fun.

Billy, we'll...

I don't think that we go

all the way to Cincinnati

night one.

I think we split the difference.

I think, look...

I wanted to mention this

because this is airing

tomorrow morning.

We're not getting to the storm

until the next day.

Well, you said maybe

Wednesday night, right? It's probably... We might not be able to drive early on Thursday because of the storm.
So we're better off going. I'm just saying, we got to go pedal to the metal road warriors.
I need to write a will. If you're not ready to be a road warrior, then I don't know.
I'm going to write a fucking will. We're in a Chevy Silverado.
It's one of the safest trucks. He's going to go war mode against the snow.
Nothing ever bad has happened in an epic snowstorm on the highway. I'm probably going to kill Billy.
No. This is how we got to do it.
All right. All right.
What's your cool throne, Billy? My cool throne is... There is going to be a camera guy that's going to film everything.
I've told him to just film. Well, it's going to mostly be just Billy driving through the night.
We're going to drive. Pittsburgh's the place we can't stop on the way to Cincinnati.
So at around 11 p.m., we'll be like, are we going or are we not? And I think it's going to be a full send moment. Yes, yes.
There we go, Gene. Yes.
It's going to be a full send moment. Damn, I should have gone on this road trip with you, Billy.
Yeah, Gene. I would have driven right through the night.
Exactly. Road warriors.
I don't have a problem. Road dogs.
It's so easy to say. Road dogs.
Shout out the road dogs. Road dogs.
Road dogs. Me and Billy.
Yeah, baby. Me and Billy.
I'm fine with driving through the night. I am.
But not all the way through the night. Not all the way through the night.
No, not all the way. Just until like 3 a.m.
When we get to Cincinnati, then we crash because we're tired as fuck. I'm fine with driving through the night.
I am. But not all the way through the night.
No, not all. Just till like 3 a.m.
When we get to Cincinnati, then we crash because we're tired as fuck. Right.
Then we sleep six. And it's going to be like a light sleep because we're so razzled.
I was mostly concerned because I had a text from Billy this morning. Be like, hey, change of plans.
I think we should just drive all the way and skip the first night of sleep. I didn't know that the back channels were happening.
There's not back channels?

Yeah, there's back channels.

There's not back channels.

Big Cat is submarining this road trip.

No, it's not.

Behind the scenes.

I literally told Billy, because I know your brain, PFT,

time doesn't exist sometimes with you.

So your planning brain isn't reality.

And Billy told me at the beginning of the trip, and I was like, those hours don't add add up and then he looked at me he's like yeah you're kind of right i was like okay and look it's i i did not think about this too much they literally don't add up i think the whole three hours in cincinnati was that was overblown we got a tape but it's gonna And you wanted to see. And the thing is.
You're talking about going to like making stops at people's houses for Skyline. The productivity.
We're going to have much more. Even if you stop for one hour in Cincinnati, you won't get to the Bass Pro Shop until like 10 p.m.
We should say, if you're in Cincinnati, we might need a place to record the podcast. Yeah.
Yeah. And the thing, like there's a lot of transactional, frictional time

that was going to be wasted and we'll get much more. That four hours, if we stop in Pittsburgh to Cincinnati, there's going to be that extra 30 minutes waiting for one another.
Like, oh, can I get... Listen, I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have been involved. I'm oftentimes the realist on this podcast.
I shouldn't have done that. I am.
I have to be the realist, so I shouldn't have done that. You guys do whatever you want.
That's cap. You're going to have fun.
That is cap. I am.
I'm the one who's got to keep us realist. The only one.
Honestly, we should put a poll out tomorrow morning. The world needs dreamers, man.
I know, but the world needs people to be like, you can't drive 40 hours in a day and a half. But the thing is, we're not going to be able to enjoy the stops.
We don't have any good stops in Pittsburgh, so we shouldn't even stop there. I'm enjoying this.
I want to, at the end of these 12-hour driving days, when we go... When we stop in Canton, spend the night at the Pro Football Hall of Fame.
Maybe it's a night at the museum where the statues talk to each other. I don't understand why that extra two hours, because it's only an extra two or three hours.
Think about this, BFT, not to be devil's advocate. No, certainly not.
Times of the essence, every hour matters when you're on the road. You get to the hotel at 11 because you want to get your 10 hours of beauty sleep.
If you're going to be awake from 11 to 1 o'clock, because that's just like you're naturally awake. You're not going to get to the hotel at 11 because you want to get your 10 hours of beauty sleep.
Beauty sleep. I need to wake up feeling refreshed.
If you're going to be awake from 11 to 1 o'clock because that's just like you're naturally awake. You're not going to get to the hotel and pass out.
Whereas if you drive till 3 or 4 a.m., you will just pass out. Those extra two or three hours make a difference.
I'd rather not err on the side of getting to a place where I'm seconds away from passing out. But you're going to be sleeping.
I'm probably going to be driving because you don't want to drive.

You don't want to drive that late.

What do you mean I don't want to drive that late? So why?

What am I, 90?

You don't want to drive that late.

I can't drive on a freeway.

You just said.

It's not safe to drive after sunset.

You just said,

we'll stop for dinner at 4 p.m.

But what's the difference

between 11 p.m. and 3 a.m.?

A massive difference.

Yeah, so you don't want to drive that late

so you can sleep.

All right, I'm looking at it.

Look, I'm going to be like, it's going to be sick.

Okay.

The distance between Pittsburgh and Cincinnati is about five hours.

You said it was two to three hours right there.

Right, but look at the difference between going straight to Cincinnati.

You agree with me that I'm not, I wasn't trying to undermine anything.

I literally just looked at a map, which I don't think you had done. But PFT.
no I had I had looked at a map I was telling Billy this morning that we can stop in like Columbus because I looked at the map and that's the only reason I said anything is because I was like if you look at the map and being like this makes no sense but if you look at the difference between the time between here and Cincinnati and here to Pittsburgh to Cincinnati it is shorter if we go straight to Cincinnati you guys guys are figuring it out. The thing is, we didn't really concept.
We had a whole different route until Cincinnati won, which we're very grateful for. Very glad.
Who day? Very glad. It'll be a nice stop.
Big things planned. Look at the distance between here and Cincinnati.
But only under an hour. No, an hour for the podcast, and then 15 minutes to make the two other stops.
Yeah. And then think about it.
You're watching it unfold. Honestly, we're not thinking about the time after Skyline.
Good point. Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
We might have to dipe up after that. Because I'm going to be eating a shit ton of Skyline because I'm trying to bulk for the Amarillo.
I'm training for the big steak in Amarillo. Yeah, that's true.
He's training. All right, so from New York to Cincinnati, it's 10 and a half hours.
Exactly. But we're leaving at like 3.34.
Right, so think about that. That's only like 1 a.m.
All right, fuck it. Let's do it.
Wait, full send. What? Full send.
That doesn't really add up. Yeah, but full send.
You do have to stop. Full sin, big cat.
Yeah, okay.

Full sin.

That's where I... That's exactly...

What just happened exactly,

like what he's like,

he read the time

and was like,

this is exactly how long it would take.

It's like,

usually road trips takes a little bit longer.

I think on exactly February 5th,

we will be landing in Amarillo

for the 72-hour steak challenge,

and that is a year to the day

war mode occurred.

Boom.

All right. That's a perfect ending of that.
Let's get to Sam Hubbard. Cool Throne WADA.
What? World Anti-Doping Administration. I had a Cool Throne WADA.
Oh, okay. Sorry.
For what reason? Because all the bicyclists for the Tour de France tested negative for any banned substances. Oh, perfect.
Which means that there's a new substance that they're all using that they can't detect that you are on the hunt for right yes exactly sick for the road trip before we get to sam hubbard i want to talk to you guys about roman roman is a men's health and wellness company and right now they've got a great great discount for you most guys have tried different ways to last longer in bed thinking about baseball baseball doesn't always work. The folks at Roman and Online Men's Health Company are changing the game with Roman Swipes.
It's the secret to longer lasting sex. You can go to GetRoman.com slash take right now.
Get your first month of swipes for just $5 when you choose a monthly plan. Roman Swipes are a clinically proven way to last longer in bed.
They're effective.

They're easy to use and fast acting.

They don't require prescription.

They can ship swipes to you in discreet, unmarked packaging.

And each swipes packet is small enough to hide in your wallet for whenever you need it.

They're super easy to use.

You just take the swipes out of the packet, swipe it on, let it dry.

You're good to go.

That's it.

Go to getroman.com slash take.

You can get your first month of swipes for just five bucks. That when you choose the monthly plan that's get roman.com slash take okay we now welcome on a very special guest it is cincinnati bangle cincinnati native sam hubbard also a vacation goer with our very own bubba which we'll get to that later, but awesome that you could join us, Sam.
Congratulations on everything. You're going to the Super Bowl.
We got a lot of questions, but I had one question that, like, I have to ask off the top because I was doing a little, like, you know, looking at some different stuff before this interview. That game, the AFC Championship game, the play that you made on third and goal with Patrick Mahomes going back in the pocket, you're the QB spy and you just, like, after about five seconds, you sprint and get him.
Can you walk us through what goes through your mind when your responsibility is QB spy and you're like, alright, fuck it, now I'm going. Now I'm going full send.
know thanks for having me on I'm a big fan of the pod but um yeah that whole drive was crazy I mean um you know there are situations where you like at one point would maybe think that uh scoring is a good idea red carpet situation get Joe the ball back but never went through our head to let him score I was always keep him out of the end zone um take it to overtime we knew joe was gonna make it so we're just bowing up um you know down the five yard line first and i think it was first and five on the first and goal and uh yeah i was just sitting back in there he was running around for his life like a chicken with his head cut off i was was finally just like, all right, my job is to spy him. As soon as the play breaks down, I'm going to go run him down.
It was crazy. I saw the way that you approached him because he'd been doing those slow spin moves all game long.
He'd have a couple plays where he pulled two or three of those off in the same play. I saw you kind of break down down before you got to him, like maybe even a little bit early.
Is that something you were thinking about? Like I know that he will do the slow man spin move and somehow get away from me. No, I was completely acting on instinct.
I think I went back to my high school safety days, just open field football, tracking the hip. I don't even know how I got the ball out.
I just kind of reached my arm out and tackled him. It was like hit him straight in the ball, but it was like a clothesline.
It's really an incredible play because, you know, if you watch it from a wider angle and you see like you're sitting there, you're waiting, you know what your responsibility is, and then when you're like, fuck it, I'm going for this. Like if you don't get get them there there's a good chance mahomes probably scores either running or passing because everything else breaks down so like that play alone was so so huge for the game i just love the mentality of like all right let's do it like now it's go time you probably weren't saying that to yourself but i would imagine like i like to imagine you being like all right let's go sam we're fucking we're doing this we're going to the super it was actually the guard as soon as the guard turned and went on to bj hill and the center was on uh dj nobody was looking at me and it was like part of like the red sea i was like all right i'm out yeah what what so speaking of like your defensive uh performance the entire team in the second half was exceptional.
So you guys like your patience. We always hear analysts say like your discipline on, you know, rush lanes and not letting the quarterback, you know, get out, especially a guy like Mahomes.
How hard is it play to play to have that discipline where you're, where you might like every now and then be like, Ooh, I can make here if I just if I go if I lose my discipline for a second like how hard is that that's got to be really really hard especially when you think oh the play's there but I got to stay where I'm at yeah I mean Mahomes it's I mean we played him twice in a short time span and I think it like unfolded the same way both times like the first half was just like a blur that you know Mahomes was kind of in total control of the game. And we were getting back there, but he was just getting out of the pocket, extending plays.
And both games that we beat him, we settled in in the second half and kind of just played our game, just kept him in the pocket, not trying to make huge plays and let him cover in the back end and stop those uh scrambles that really are dangerous and like back breaking plays we're able to eliminate those and that's uh really was the difference i think i love the phrase that you used to boat up i'm usually a pin my ears back guy myself but boat up sounds like our defense our defense is um you know red zone boat up that's uh we always say that down there three points or zero i love that yeah uh did you guys have anything put in in place in your game plan defensively for if you did happen to get into a 13 second or less scenario with patrick mahomes no i mean we practice those situations every saturday i walk through every week and there's situations that you may never have in your career like um you know sideline situations or um yeah we just have different names for them and they're like once every four years a situation like those will come up where you actually need them and you have to execute them perfectly in the biggest moments and that's really the difference when it comes down to this time of the season yeah have you had a chance to watch you know sit down know, sit down and watch all the film? And have you been able to find one play that maybe us as just, you know, guys that watch football on TV maybe didn't realize was a very important play for your defense? But to you, it kind of – it changed things? Yeah, I mean, I heard you guys talk about the game. But I think Eli Apple's play at the end of the half on Tyreek Hill, like really.
mean they score there it's a totally different ball game that kind of was a momentum shift for us at half the difference in the game that was just such a huge play yeah going into halftime i'm sure it was like all right we've been here before it's literally the same exact deficit that we had in week 17 it's got to got to be huge doing that like having that momentum half. Yeah.
And I mean, I think the thing you see with our team is like our defense plays so hard at all times because we have full faith that whenever Joe gets the ball, he can bring us back into the game. So like we literally never quit or like question that if we just keep getting stops, like Joe can bring us back in the game.
So, so you're, you're, you're from Cincinnati. You were a captain in the game.
It was you and Joe, captains of the game. Zach Taylor said afterwards, Ohio's finest, Cincinnati's finest.
How many thank you texts have you gotten from just random people? Because like it's obviously – obviously everyone on the Bengals is so excited and what you're doing for the city, but it is your city. So it's an added layer of like coolness to this whole thing.
Have you just had people that you haven't talked to in a really long time being like, thank you so much? Yeah. I mean, I think everybody I've ever met in my entire life has shot me a text or like an Instagram message.
And also like my parents, my siblings, anybody that's ever like associated with our family is just so happy and reaching out and the support's just crazy. And to like make a play.
Oh, sorry. That's all right.
Can you hear that? Yeah, we can. That's okay.
Is that Joe? You can put him on in his show. It's another person texting you or calling you being like, hey, Sam, we were in PE class in fifth grade.
Want to say thanks. It was a random number.
But, yeah, no, it's crazy. Everybody I ever met is just hitting me up.
And I just love the – my favorite part is the videos of the bars in Cincinnati. When the kick goes through, people are just, like, weeping and crying and just over and over.
They're shotgunning Skyline Chili. Yeah.
I've seen, like, five videos of people either beer bonging or just, like, opening up a can with a can opener and just pouring it down their face. It's great.
It's awesome to see. It's truly the best part about sports.
Like you have a franchise that hasn't had success in a really long time and you can see the like outpouring of emotions. I just love the fact that every literally every person you've ever met, including Bubba, who you went on vacation with, what, like 20 years ago, also hits you up.
Everyone, literally anyone who's met you ever has hit you up. Yeah.
I think it was just making the play in that stage. Like, that was probably the biggest stage, I mean, in my career.
And, like, last play of the game of regulation, sack, fumble. Like, you can't imagine a better situation.
It's just, it's crazy. I'm just, yeah, it's awesome.
You realize that you're now America's team, right? Like the entire country is rooting for you with the exception of maybe, I don't know, like a few guys and like Rob Lowe. Rob Lowe and Snoop Dogg are rooting for the Rams and everybody else because you kind of represent, you know, like it or not, you represent a lot of teams that never thought that they would have a chance

at the Super Bowl.

Like, if you're a fan of the Detroit Lions,

who actually might be a little bit rooting for Matt Stafford,

but, like, the Lions, the Jets,

teams that have had a really rough go of it for the last, like,

five or six years, they're all rooting for you

because your odds were so long going into this season

to even find yourself in the playoffs, much less the Superbowl. You're kind of,

you're, you're America's darlings right now.

Yeah, no, we appreciate that. I mean, my first year,

I did my first winning season. And like, I mean,

I was like, yeah, one playoff win spent 31 years.

Like that was my going into the season. I'm like, let's just win one playoff game for the city.

Like, that was my main goal.

And I talked to Joe after that first playoff when I was like, dude,

like, do you realize what we did?

And he was just like, eh, no.

I mean, we got a lot more to do.

It's pretty cool.

But, like, it's just – it's a crazy mentality that we have on this team. It's like everything's aligning together.
Stars are aligning. I mean, you said team of destiny.
I feel like we're a team of destiny. Yeah.
When did that occur to you this year that this team is built a little bit different? There's a different vibe around these Bengals than those Bengals? I think during offseason, we were all on virtual on zoom trying to discuss when we it was like if you remember way back it was up in the air whether teams would be meeting for the off season virtually or in person teams opted out and all that stuff cba uh issues and we kind of just every single person on our team wanted to come in get together we had We had a lot of new guys, a lot of free agents,

and wanted to come in because we haven't had success,

and we wanted to be great.

We did six weeks of OTAs together,

and that was really where we all bonded

and laid the foundation of what we wanted to be for the year.

You said something that was interesting there I wanted to go back to.

After the first win, the excitement is all off the charts. Joe Burrow's like, yeah, we still got a lot to work on here.
We got a long road to go. How long is it before you have to switch to the next game? Because as regular guys, I think that we can say that if we have any little piece of success, we're like, all right, we're good forever.
I would still be drunk. Yeah still be drunk yeah you win something and you're like sweet I never have to do this again but the turnaround is one week like how quickly did you guys did you stop celebrating you're like all right and now it's the Titans now it's the Chiefs yeah I mean every week it's kind of the same routine I mean this is like our 23rd week in a row playing games it's a long season season.
But you have that Monday. It's Victory Monday.
After a loss, you have 24 hours of, like, misery. And you wake up on Tuesday, the player off day, and you kind of just turn the page, you know, do your routines, massage or whatever to get right and start game planning for the next week.
So when it's a big win, you enjoy it. I mean, this is pretty great because we have an extra week

to enjoy this victory, but we'll still be watching the Rams.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it's pretty quick.

Just out of pure curiosity, what color Gatorade do you guys usually have

on the sidelines during games?

Actually, it's always consistently orange now that you say that.

You haven't noticed that.

That's interesting.

We'll bleep that out so that nobody else finds out. i'm just curious i'm just curious for no real reason about that one thing i've always appreciated about you sam is the fact that you are uh you're a swiss army knife in that you play defensive end and fullback i haven't seen you get too many reps at fullback though recently is that something that we might see in the super Bowl potentially you getting back out there and getting another fullback assist because you came in second place I think in fullback assist back in 2018 yeah no it actually amazed me when we met you and I met back in the Super Bowl 2019 of that rough and rowdy I was like yeah hey I'm Sam PFT and you're actually like oh Sam Hummer you had seven fullbacks assists in 2019.
I was, like, really impressed. Like, I didn't even know I had that.
Yeah, I'm like Rain Man for grit. Yeah.
I've been on my offensive coordinator trying to get me back in there, but I kind of gave up, and I'm patiently waiting for my number to be called. We'll see when it happens.
Yeah, I would love for that to happen in the that would make me happier than like when a offensive lineman catches a touchdown in the red zone to see you get out there and blow somebody up from the five yard line on a fullback assist that would make my week yeah i know so mike grayball type or yeah something like that that would be perfect uh so you you listen to the show, right? You listen to the show? Yeah, big time. Okay.
So you know things we talk about and our likes and dislikes. So since you are in AWL, talk about Urban Meyer's character.
I'm not going to go there. I was anticipating this question coming.
Was that or what is the biggest lesson that Urban Meyer has taught you? I decided it was a game-time decision which one I was going to go with. Yeah.
I mean, I have a crazy recruiting story with Coach Meyer, but I was a lacrosse player back in the day, and he somehow saw a football player in me and actually convinced me to flip over to football no way wait so when did you start playing football you played in high school but yeah i played uh lacrosse and football from like third grade but i was committed to play lacrosse at notre dame and in high school and i was like yeah i'm just doing football for fun and uh yeah he came into my gym class actually in junior year of high school just recruiting at moeller and i was like who's that big tall dude i was like 185 pounds at the time he's like and my coach is like that's our safety you know he's a lacrosse player and uh that's really where the relationship started we just started uh talking i went to their camp and he's like yeah you need to come play football so urban looked at you and he's like he's like this guy's tall he plays football we're playing this guy fat yeah that's awesome i can make this guy a lineman great eye for talent yeah i guess so i owe him a lot for that what uh did you have you ever given joe shit for i mean obviously he made the right choice but for transferring from ohio state No. I mean, that was a tough situation.

I remember the whole process because he was deciding where to go.

I think he was down to University of Cincinnati actually in LSU.

And, I mean, that's a big-time stage.

And he went down there and took over.

So it worked out for him.

Yeah.

I mean, I'd say so.

It's very hard.

Like, whenever college football fans are like, oh, this guy transferred from here. fields went from georgia it's like there's a lot that goes into it it's not like they just decide it overnight like oh yeah i'm gonna go to lsu i'm out of here i mean yeah and the whole yeah the whole situation was he got hurt um you know that the year before and uh you know dwayne stepped in and great.
It was just a tough spot, a lot of talent at Ohio State. He did what was right for him.
And, I mean, look at where he is now. Yeah, and I think, you know, you guys have a pretty close team, it seems like, right now.
And, you know, obviously going through what this team has gone through in the last couple years, going into winning, you know, playoff games on playoff games, going to're in jail a little bit one thing i appreciate about your defense especially your defensive line uh on the other side you've got trey hendrickson and does does he wear the arm sleeves so that the announcers can tell him apart from you is that like a handshake deal you guys have no i mean that's uh the no gloves sleeves is his thing and uh you know i will i don't know how i honestly don't know how he plays the game without gloves because like my fingers and hands get mangled and he's just uh out there doing his things it's i don't know we're we're uh we were very close i mean he came in spree agency, and we hit it off right away,

but we're two very different people like yin and yang, we always say.

And the whole defensive line, we go out to dinner together.

We're all super close.

I think that is what makes our defense special for sure.

Who can eat the most on your defensive line?

I mean, I don't know.

We got some pretty big nose tackles. Tyler Shelvin.
You know, Tyler Shelvin's the guy that's the picture of him in college holding Joe. And then at the AFC, him on his shoulders again.
So sick. You got to get ready because people are just going to tell you for the next two weeks that the Super Bowl is really fast.
So let us be the first to tell you that, that the speed of the Super Bowl is crazy. Really? I haven't heard that yet.
You're going to be shocked when you see it. As people who've watched a lot of Super Bowls, it's fast.
Okay. That's what they said when they first come into the league and I get out there for my first preseason game and I was like, holy shit, this is fast.
It really is true. The speed of the game is just ridiculous.

Also, halftime.

Halftime is longer, so you're going to be ready for that, okay?

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, Eminem, I heard.

That would be cool.

Snoop Dogg.

Yes.

Dr. Dre.

Has there been any discussion around the locker room about winning this one

for Harambe?

Bringing one home for the Sweet Prince.

For the lowland gorilla. Sweet Prince.
No, I uh i mean that's our guy that's our hero uh i think that's known kind of goes without saying right um you know we're doing this for him so so it's safe to say that you were on the side of the harambe grievers and like the kid like shouldn't have been there it's to say, but I mean, yeah. I hope someone asked you about Harambe Media Day.
The fact that this is now coming back up, it's the perfect amount of time, too, where it's funny again. I look forward after every game.
I don't know if it's memes or whoever puts up the Harambe looking over the stadium. Make day every time it's so good you were in cincinnati or you were around ohio at the time in 2016 right i was at ohio state at the time but what was the mood like on campus that day uh sullen i mean heartbreaking no i'm just kidding well i'll give you i'll give you a chance here

like maybe a mark walberg chance like if you were there would would it have gone differently would you have maybe been able to rescue the child without lethal force i think so i think uh yeah that would have added to the cincinnati legend yeah you just jump in there make harambe Yeah, go bow up on Harambe.

Yeah, bow up on Harambe.

Just say it. You just jump in there and make Harambe tap out.
Yeah, go bow up on Harambe.

Yeah, bow up on Harambe.

Just Sam Hubbard fucking blitzing Harambe.

Takes him down.

Harambe can't spin out on you.

No, no chance.

Harambe, he moves like Big Ben now.

Yeah.

Yeah, cement boots.

Actually, dead Harambe probably moves better than Big Ben.

That's true.

That's a fact. How was it playing against Ben at this stage of his career? I mean, I watched him go against the Bengals my whole life.
He's a legend. I mean, he gets the ball off.
Actually, my rookie year, I think that was 2018, was my first. That was the last game of the season and uh you know Ben was um pretty large and I got back there and wrapped him up and just like got completely thrown off he ran scrambled and or stepped up in the pocket and threw a third down I was like it felt like I was trying to tackle an offensive lineman I was like oh my gosh they said he's big but like I didn't know he was that big.
He's big. Yeah.
This is my favorite interview because knowing that you know every joke that we make and we're just going to keep asking you, what do you think about Big Ben? What do you think about Urban Meyer? What are your thoughts on LeBron? Do you like LeBron? Hey, Akron's very own. He's an Ohio guy.
Yeah, just a kid from Akron. Yeah.
Yeah. Actually, he was out on the sidelines.

He was in the locker room, too, when we played Team Up North one year

at Ohio State.

That was pretty cool.

What about –

He gave the whole team beats, too.

Oh, really?

Was that impermissible benefit?

Yeah, that's before NIL, right, Sam?

No, no, no.

He was joking. Yeah.
Yeah, I was joking. We didn't actually get him i think this was this would be similar to when we had joe on and got odell in trouble and all that stuff i think it was permissible because of bull gifts or something like that yeah and also because he's lebron and urban meyer was the coach do whatever he wants yeah and urban meyer Meyer was using the beats by Dre to teach a lesson about accountability down the line because you're only permitted to listen to motivational podcasts.
Yes. Yes.
Got it. So I'm going to further incriminate myself anymore.
So you're from Cincinnati, born and raised. You play in Cincinnati now.
What are your thoughts on Skyline Chili, and can you tell us why? What's your favorite part about Skyline Chili?

Is it the texture, the cinnamon, or the spaghetti?

Actually, right here, I have a Cincinnati fact for you.

Oh, let's go.

I love Cincinnati facts.

Okay, Cincinnatians eat over 2 million pounds

of Skyline Chili annually.

Cincinnati fact. Wow.
That's a good Cincinnati factinnati how many crackers though the crackers are great the thing is so like you sit down um uh at skyline and you get a little bowl of crackers and water and hot sauce and you just douse the crackers in hot sauce and then your mouth is on fire until your skyline comes and like it's the routine every time yeah no you described it perfectly it's a routine yeah it's not really a meal as much as it is just you know like it's it's like making the trip to to mecca yeah it's brushing your teeth in the morning you know you're doing it yeah you're not even thinking about it no first you eat the cracker with the hot sauce then eat the chili that's what we do yeah yes you have to do and uh i mean my orders i get three plain cheese coneys and a three-way every time um dk metcalf yeah i still just can't get over the fact that like um people do it for lunch like go to eat skyline for lunch and then go back to work that will blow will blow my mind forever. I space it out.
I actually like after every, after the season's over every year, the first place I go to is Skyline. Cause like, you're not going to feel good after you eat it.
But, uh, I mean, it's, there's nothing better. So I can't, I can't, I don't know how people do that either, but like late night and stuff like that, it hits the spot.
It's great drunk, for sure. It's a glowing endorsement to say you're not going to feel good after eating it.
I mean, there's a lot of stuff that I eat that I feel bad after eating. Big Cat's right, though.
Going there and then having to go continue on with responsibilities, that's a meal that will ruin. Give yourself a 24-hour buffer to just recover from that meal.
I just imagine a guy in a suit going and eating a whole fucking three-way and then going back to his desk and trying to type something into an Excel spreadsheet.

That is actually like an Iron Man.

That's the most impressive athletic feat of all time.

Yeah, no, that takes some serious grit.

I don't know. I don't think I could do it it i'd be in a coma or like negotiating against somebody like going back and being a serious businessman i guess they're all eating skyline so it's like that's almost like the the pre-fight routine yeah let's both go get touching gloves is having a couple conies with each other yes um what's one thing that you don't like about Joe Burrow? Good question.
Great question. Thank you.
It's a tough one. I can't do my boy like that.
I don't know. I don't think there's anything I don't like.
He's Joe cool. He's the guy.
What about the glasses? Are the glasses, do they always play? Or does he sometimes put on a pair that he tries out and you guys are like, that's a little bit too far, Joe? No, he doesn't try. He doesn't get our thoughts.
He just does it every time. But he wore those glasses and I was like, I don't know.
I don't know about those. And then the next week we went to Tennessee and literally every person I saw on every picture on social media everywhere is wearing these glasses.
and it's taking over the city. Their glasses are on everybody tailgating, and they're the biggest hit.
What is it about him in a locker room? I'm sure there'll be a ton of stories written this Super Bowl week, like the it factor. A lot of times the it factor just means you're winning.
But for Joerow it feels like he's had it even if you go back to LSU before the season before they won the national title if you talk to anyone about that like he was confident he's always been confident like does he have that effect on the locker room where guys just buy in because of who he is yeah no doubt I mean people in the position Joe's in will sometimes like try to force things or be somebody they're not and like the thing about joe is he just does everything um organically and uh just handles every situation like after you after he does it like that's my quarterback like i don't know it's hard to explain it's just uh it's hard to uh like you can't even replicate or put your finger on exactly what it is you know yeah it feels like he has the perfect blend of like confidence and then there's something about having confidence and then backing it up with actions that's like the most infectious thing ever you know and you see someone like oh yeah I'm confident in myself I'm not cocky I don't cocky. I think he's confident.
He's not like saying crazy things or trying to be boisterous. He's just confident, and then he goes and does it, and then you're like, okay, this guy can walk on water.
Yeah, exactly. And he's always been that way.
And, yeah, when you back it up what you're saying, I mean, anything that he says, you're not going to be like, oh, that's a stretch or that's a lie. Like, it's like, OK, like, yeah, then he goes and does it.
Yeah. Did you have a word with Brandon Allen about calling heads at the coin flip in overtime? We need to straighten that out in case there's an overtime situation in the Super Bowl.
Tails doesn't fail. I think Joe called heads when we were at the coin toss before the game, too, and I think it was tails.
But that coin toss Brandon Allen went out there for, I was after I just had those sacks back-to-back, and I was completely exhausted. I was on the sideline, like, sitting on the bench, like, not even sure where I was at.
It was crazy. But, yeah, we'll ted's like tails next time yeah tails doesn't fail it never fails that's how i believe that too i i'm yes that's how it rhymes uh let's get some super bowl media day questions out of the way for you so that you're ready and prepared um how many tickets how many tickets you got to get for your family that's definitely going to be asked yeah i mean that's right now i mean we have a team meeting later to get some more information but that's probably the most stressful part right now i mean do you want us to handle it i've always heard you got to have someone else handle it we can handle it public can handle it you give us the tickets we'll make sure it gets to your family and then some of your friends and also what sweet aren't you getting a Sweet from McVeigh.
McV suite from McVay? McVay, he's been ducking us. He's a slippery little bastard.
That's tough. We should actually, you know what? Now that I'm thinking about it, we should just show up in L.A.
with an extra challenge flag and be like, McVay, here, take this and give us a suite. I'll trade you.
Yeah, you get three now in the Super Bowl because you know he's going to throw one before the coin toss.

But I appreciate the offer.

I think my mom's going to handle the tickets.

Okay.

All right.

Well, if you need a backup, we won't sell all of them,

just most of them for an insane profit.

Yeah, very big profit for sure.

I don't know.

Are they doing Super Bowl Media Day this year?

I think they're doing like a Zoom probably.

I think it was one of those things where they tried to do it last year, but they canceled it, and then they said, you know what? It turns out we don't really need Super Bowl Media Day. Nobody really missed it last year.
Yeah. You're going to get a story written about you in Sports Illustrated or something about actually, can Jake write that story? Can he interview you? i mean i'd love that okay we yeah maybe we beat everyone with that interview where it's like i don't know how super bowl media i don't never been there i don't know how it works well it's gonna be hometown kid like there's always storylines burrow's gonna have the it factor matt stafford's gonna have like a detroit storyline it going to be the first overall pick versus the first overall pick.

They'll talk about that.

SEC, all this shit.

You know what they'll probably do?

They'll probably say, you're the new Chris Hogan.

If Chris Collinsworth finds out that you played lacrosse in high school,

oh my God, he's going to be like,

here's a guy that played lacrosse in high school, Al.

Oh, we should get – all right, so now that we're talking this out,

we need to get in touch with whoever recruited you at Notre Dame. Jakeake will contact him it will be the lacrosse story yes sam hubbard how sam hubbard could have been on the water dogs and been a loser instead he's on the bangles and a winner even better lacrosse player than he was a football player in high school yes yeah jerry burn notre dame coach who recruited me um that's a great great story.
Yeah, this would be great. I want Jake to do like a Big J journalist story on Sam Hubbard because someone's going to do it.
We've got to beat him to it. Yeah, no, he's got exclusive rights now.
Let's get it on the books. Perfect, perfect.
Evan McPherson, does he have like a pass in the locker room? Like he's not a kicker, he's one of us? one of us yes definitely i mean i said this in my media when they asked me about him i was like we drafted a kicker um ots i'm like trying to chirp him like get him around him give him shit and uh he never like i mean he's this uh he's like a smaller guy but he never backed down he would talk shit right back right back. And, you know, has a personality.
He's a cool dude. He's got confidence.
And after he's been making these kicks, everybody's just super happy. He's on our team.
He's a great dude. Does anybody ever give kickers shit when they miss some easy ones? Because I know he had that tough game against Green Bay early this year.
That was kind of a fluke. I mean, both kickers were missing on that game i think there was like eight missed field goals i mean that was just a crazy game i think i know but no one really says anything everybody knows just on to the next one yeah the way he's played this year like as a rookie is so impressive especially in the playoffs where i i do think that he's the second best kicker in the league behind Justin Tucker right now, which is saying something, even like mention him in the same breath.
But when you have a kicker that has that much ice water in his veins, there's a huge boost. It does make a difference.
I think it made a little bit of a difference in the game plan that you guys had against the Chiefs, where sometimes teams are like, we're not going to beat the Chiefs with field goals. But it turns out points count the same as points.
You know, like three points is still three points. And if you add them up, you can actually beat the Chiefs with field goals.
Matt LaFleur tried that. Matt LaFleur tried that.
But you actually have a good enough weapon at kicker where it's almost like a luxury to have that on your team. Yeah.
I mean, like i don't know 35 or whatever it's like automatic points and like you see joe i mean even the playoffs like against tennessee you just see him he gets pressure down the red zone he just takes care of the ball like he might get sacked but he's not going to turn the ball over because we still get three points like he's just gonna make a smart decision not like do something crazy and we're just gonna take the points and go out there and get another stop get the ball back it's just really nice to have a reliable kicker trust me so my last football question when you drop back in coverage because that was a lot of you know the chief second half was you know dropping eight and you're you're the guy who usually drops is there ever a moment when you're're dropped back in coverage where a Tyree Kill or someone who's running across the field, you're like, oh, fuck. Because the reality of football is you have power speed, but you don't have wide receiver speed.
Does that ever cross your mind? Like, uh-oh, this is going to be a bad situation if I get one-on-one with this guy. yeah i actually speaking of tyreek hill and a few years ago 2018 we were in kansas city my first time and we had a similar type of game plan where i'd walk out on tyreek hill and jam him and then drop back over the ball and they snap the ball and he does like the quickest like juke i've ever seen and like completely ducks under me and i whiff on my jam and he's like 10 yards down the field by the time i even like turn around and i'm just like and then they complete the ball to him and i was like oh my like what the hell and uh yeah once you get out in space with these guys, you really see sometimes why you belong in the trenches.

Yeah, it's not fair.

It's probably similar like when a running back who's not great at blocking

tries to block you.

You've got to feel like a superhuman, whereas one of these speedsters

is breaking you down at the line of scrimmage.

It's like, uh-oh, this is scary.

Yeah, I mean, but the coaches do a good job of never putting us

like one-on-one with like zero help over top in situations like that um so we're never truly like out on an island as a big man you can't or else it's just not gonna go well um all right so i had one last question it's the roback question you're wearing roback i think your cousin maybe started Roback? Is that true? Yeah, actually, he was one of the founders. And back in the day, they were just trying out products and would give them to me.
I'd just be rocking it before they ever like blew up and kind of just organically as my career has grown, they've blown up and we're just I'm a Roback athlete. So it's really cool.
Yeah, we love Roback. They've been a great sponsor of ours.
Use code PMT when you go to R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com. And Sam Hubbard's an official rowback athlete, so now you have to support it.
He's an AWL. We've got to support each other.
20% off when you go to rowback.com and you use code PMT. So Liam, Bubba, our producer, you went on vacation with him? Like, this is the weirdest, the fact that we were just talking about the game on Sunday night and he's like, oh yeah, like 15 years ago, I went on vacation with Sam Hubbard.
Do you remember him? Did he leave an impression on you? So I don't know. My texted me last night and uh i don't know somehow they made the connection that i was coming on the show today and so liam went to breezy point with my cousins because they're close family friends but i spent all my summers going to breezy point for vacation and uh it's like the best place on earth and uh she told me that liam fell in love with breezy point he can chime in but uh yeah do you still go there right there he asked you still go there i don't i haven't been there in a while my grandma's uh sold her house that we used to stay at when i was like in high school so it's been a while.
But my cousins are still there. I need to get back out there.
Legendary vacay spot. Bubba talks about it all the time.
So, yeah. He's always like, we'll go places.
We'll go to Vegas or we went to Malibu. He's like, yeah, it's cool, but it's no Breezy Point.
Yeah, Breezy Point's the best. I mean, you ride your bikes everywhere.
Yeah, there's no cars. That's why I like it.
There's no cars cars he always says there's no cars or you can ride your bike all over the place so yeah every street's like blocked off it's crazy i have a fear of cars yeah he got hit by a car so that actually works he's the breezy point king allegedly got hit by a car it's a magical place for sure yes um okay so uh last last question i had um you went to moeller high school i hear all the time that like their soccer program's good but they never won anything yeah i mean i can't comment i didn't play soccer but uh yeah i think this is um someone i'm gonna have to reach out to Yeah, I think so. Kotsi's coaching for his job right now.
He's make it or break it year. Yeah.
This is actually really mean because Welker, and I've known him for a decade, he does our t-shirts for people who don't know the behind the scenes. He's done it for literally like a decade with Barstool.
He's like an all-time nice guy, great guy, but he definitely will be like, wait, am I on the hot seat?

Fuck.

Does he listen to the show?

Yeah.

I'm sure he will, yeah.

He was at the game.

He was decked out in Bengals gear.

So, yeah, he's going to be nervous that we put him on the hot seat.

I mean, his midfield connection with the fullbacks needs some work.

It's like they're not even playing soccer out there.

It's like they're playing just like four in the back, four up front. Get your midfielders to actually hustle their ass back on defense, Mike.
Hashtag Welker out. I mean, you guys are speaking a foreign language.
I don't know anything about soccer. You're a lacrosse guy.
That's right. Yeah.
Yeah, we're going to get the details of that story. All right.
Well, Sam, congrats again, man. So awesome.
Unbelievable play. That play, like like i watched it like five times before we got on this interview like that's it's an all-time moment for the city of cincinnati oh i have one last last question go ahead what sound does patrick mahomes make when you sack him who uh i mean when you tackle somebody like that you're like in the pile you You just hear like, just like, no, like, no specific sound.
I mean, when you tackle somebody like that, you're, like, in the pile. You just hear, like, just, like, no specific sound.
I mean, I saw him after the game, though, shook hands. He's a class act.
Just, you know, told us to go win it all. Just a great competitor.
Yeah. What about Big Ben? What sound does he make when you sack him? Barts? Yeah.
I had one this one this year where I like did a text and came underneath and like

happened to be falling and like took his legs out.

And it was just like a tabletop situation.

And he went down pretty hard.

Cause I like heard him fall next to me.

Um,

but yeah,

he's,

he got back up.

I don't think he makes any sounds.

Yeah.

He got back up.

All right.

Well,

Sam,

uh,

best of luck in the super bowl. We're rooting you uh really appreciate you coming on yeah thanks for having me sam hubbard was brought to you by our good friends over at black rifle coffee black rifle coffee company is a veteran-owned coffee company serving premium coffee to people who love america black rifle is continually committed to supporting veteran law enforcement and first responder causes.
In 2020, they donated more than 6 billion cups of coffee to deployed soldiers, law enforcement, and medical workers through their signature buy-a-bag, give-a-bag initiatives. They import their high-quality coffee beans from all over the world.
They roast five days a week, and you can join the coffee club with Black Rifle Coffee. You pick your perfect roast, how much and when you want delivered to your door, and then they take care of the rest.
It's free to sign up. You get free shipping, discounts on partner brands, and early access to new products and club exclusive products.
True story, last week I ran out of coffee in my house there's no worse situation than waking up you want

a cup of coffee to start your day you're getting ready to go into work you go into the kitchen and

you're out of coffee throws off your entire schedule for the day if you're in the coffee

club they ship to you on regularly scheduled deliveries so that never happens to you they're

also sponsoring me and billy's cross-country trip a whirlwind vacation it's gonna be great we're

gonna be drinking black rifle coffee making sure to stay alert and awake on the road we love black

Thank you. Okay, we now welcome on our good friend, Uncle Chaps.
I don't like being here. What? Here! It was the couch a second ago.
Just like a more general general. This couch stinks.
It's not an ad, right? Is this couch an ad? That is Billy's spot that his ass is usually in. It's so flattened out.
Billy, did you stink? You're like so much lower than you guys. Billy, did you stink couch that? Is it stinky? Not stinks.
Like, it's just not comfortable. It's not a good spot.
Like, I feel like I can't be relaxed. I got to lean forward a little bit.
Have you thought about lying down on it? No. We had a professional cuddler come in here and cuddled with Jake.
Would you like to cuddle with Jake? Would that make you feel better? Yeah, it was good to break it in. Yeah, it was.
It was very sexual. There you go.
We're going to say Hank. That's better.
That looks comfy. That's better.
Yeah. You're a handyman chaps, big time toolie.
Billy broke the couch probably 18 months ago and was tasked with fixing it, and this was the leg. How do you think, as a craftsman, how do you think he did? How's he done? I just saw that it was at a sharp angle.
That's not good. Yeah, there's just a box of what? Core seltzers.
Core seltzers. That's probably going to stick around for a while.

I got the job done.

I would say it's a very troop thing of him to do,

to improvise, adapt, and overcome.

But you said it stinks.

Does it stink?

Does the couch stink?

No, it's just not a good couch.

You're doing the yucky fingers. Yeah, it feels kind of yucky.

I'm obviously a gross dude.

I don't mind that.

No, you fix your eyes.

Yeah, I have.

I'm doing skincare now, by the way. Oh, you need to do that.
Did you see me in a Dead Sea mask? No, I did not. I did not see that.
I was in a Dead Sea mask. Okay.
What is that? You just put it on your face and you let it sit? Yeah, it's like mud from the Dead Sea. That's cool.
I don't even know if it's really from the Dead Sea. What's the shipping on that? $4.99.
Nice. Not bad.
Ship anywhere. Yeah.
All right, so you're doing skincare. Your eyes look better.
Your face looks the same. How's Gussy Boy? Gussy Boy from heaven above is doing great.
Baby Dale, woo-hoo. A little bit of trouble right now.
He's in a rebellious stage. He's about two and a half.
Yeah. He's kind of in his rebellious stage.
He does not want to go outside to go to the bathroom when it's cold. Wait, do dogs have...
I just kind of said yeah and went along with that like dogs knowingly go through rebellious stages.

Oh, the terrible twos

is a real thing.

I don't know if that's true.

I love it.

Yeah, it is.

Terrible twos for dogs.

And then they just stay bad

for the rest of their lives.

No, the triumphant threes.

They're back.

Yeah.

They're kings again.

Wait, but wouldn't that be dog years?

Wouldn't that be

when they're like three months old

to four months old?

It's the same.

It's adolescence.

So whenever you're two years old,

you're looking at your prime

preteen teenage years and they're very angsty. Yeah.
What about Sprinkly Dinks? Sprinkly Dinkles doing great. Been shedding a little bit more.
Her and Baby Dale, woohoo. Best buds now.
But didn't you say that about... No, I didn't.
They're best buds. So go out and butt that relationship.
My dogs and cats are best friends. That's awesome.
And always have been. And it also shows you have no fear.
None. None.
Just get back on that horse. Yeah, right.
Otherwise, you'll never be able to put your cat in the same room as your dog again. I do have a double dose of PTSD.
One from the gunshot wound and one from leaving my animals together. Now, if if we go somewhere we definitely don't have the cats and dogs in the same that's smart that's very smart so i also want to talk to you while you're here about your beloved jaguars okay who seem to be doing all the right things they hired byron left which a couple days ago as reported by me they signed him officially he's doing some other interviews just to you know just to kind of like get his name out there a little bit.
I think the Jaguars are the first coach to ever have their current head coach taking interviews with other teams. Yeah, the Jags are kind of an abomination to the Lord right now.
God hates Jags. Well, it's smart because what he's doing is he's going out there and he's finding out about other teams.
He's's getting the inside source i don't think it's what i really think happened i think i fucked the jags again like whenever it first happened and i got adam schefter to report that olivier vernon was going to sign with the jags right i later found out from people that work with the jags you honest to god probably cost the jags signing him because his agent saw it they saw the numbers and they went back to the Giants and like this is the number he got a little bit more than that number and I've been told by people in the Jags that were in the GM spots like those offices that it could have cost them I legitimately think it's possible that I did that with Byron Lefkowitz that they were about to go over the finish line and the only thing that was left was them to really sign the contracts and figure out what when Trent Baucki was going to leave yeah and now it might not happen he had he the the everyone's been saying that Byron Lefkowitz wants to be the Jags head coach but only if Baucki goes yeah because everybody hates Baucki right like everyone in the NFL except for like four or five people urban Meyer urban Meyer hates him no urban Meyer likes meyer likes no urban meyer just said he would tolerate him oh because urban meyer like shad asked balky from what i understand he asked balky if urban meyer if he wanted to stand with urban meyer urban meyer was like i don't know if he's gonna fit in the nfl but i will stay if i can be the gm so he stayed as the gm urban meyer was like i just want somebody that's been around the nfl for a while i haven't. Urban Meyer didn't do any of the hiring for his coordinators or anything like that.
It was all Trent Baalke people that he went out and got. It wasn't Urban that even ran his coaching search.
So when he said, when he called them all losers, that actually he's allowed to do that. Because he didn't pick them.
Yeah. Baalke's losers.
Why does Trent Baalke have the job that he has right now? I have no idea. He must have like dick pics or something.
Well, he did an okay job with the Niners. No, he didn't.
Like when you look back at who he drafted with the Niners. I think it was Scott McLuhan that did those drafts.
Yeah, he got a lot. That really stocked up the roster.
Right. He came into a good roster and then he had a good roster.
Because remember when Sanisco went on that run everybody was like san francisco was built for a decade yeah they have all these young studs yeah they have all these joe staley like they had a great offensive line they had a great defensive line and they were going to stick around forever and then balky started drafting all the players with torn acls so instead of keeping young talent they, this dude's a superstar, but he has a torn ACL, and they were banking on that. And then with free agency, he never wanted to go out and make a free agency splash because he believed in building through the draft and all that, which is great, but you have to supplement, and he didn't want to.
He was the GM, according to this, 2011, of the Colin Kaepernick when he drafted Kaepernick in the second round yeah and alden smith was a good pick obviously had issues his draft picks this year like uh campbell the corner from georgia he played poorly the first four or five games easily one of the best rookie corners in the nfl after after that like he was a pretty shut down corner for this jacks defense he also uh drafted little from sanford. That dude had missed like two straight years, and he's come in and played great.
He might even beat out Cam Robinson if they don't bring him back for left tackle. And then you get Travis Etienne back next year.
Etienne comes back next year too. So, out of the remaining coaches, if for whatever reason, some weird wacky reason, Byron left, which decides to not coach your beloved Jaguarsars who are you thinking it's going to be who do you want i said when the whole search started that the top three guys were probably doug peterson jim caldwell and byron left which those are the ones that i think doug would be a good choice i personally of all the ones that i think will make the biggest impact it would be caldwell like i think caldwell coming in, being that steady voice, he's been in the league for a long time, probably go out and get Pep Hamilton to be the offensive coordinator, somebody like that that's developed quarterbacks too.
Put that in. Draft Neal number one overall, the left tackle from Alabama.
Get him to come in as the left tackle. And then I've done those PFT mock drafts.
Top wide receiver available for the rest of the draft. So what you're saying now is you're not looking for a new quarterback? No, no.
And how dare you? I'm just asking. There's so many people that are like, he should demand a trade.
Shut up, demand a trade. He shouldn't demand a trade.
It's one year. Jaguars should cut him.
Oh, you mother... Trevor Lawrence has been disgusted.
Why would you say that? Billy's theory actually turned out to be kind of true that Trevor Lawrence had never lost before and it's going to be tough for his rookie year. I will say, paying attention to the Jags, which you guys clearly don't do, the Jags, this guy, Trevor Lawrence, was essentially like a front office dude this year too.
He would answer questions even when Urban, the offensive coordinator, when Beville wouldn't. He would answer questions from the franchise's perspective as a rookie.
He was way more impressive than I thought he would be. Okay, so you're still high on Trevor Lawrence.
That's good. It's tough to be a quarterback when you don't have anyone who can even catch.
I'm giving you a shot. I think he's still going to be fine, but there has been conversations on this podcast about him maybe being a bust.
No, he makes some throws that are just unbelievable. I think he might be a bust.
I'll be honest with you. I've said it before.
He's not going to be a bust. The last game was nice.
The game that he had against the Colts. Walk us through that.
That was like your Super Bowl this year. Tell us about your Super Bowl, Chaps.
You beat the Chaps. No, I don't think that was our Super Bowl.
I think beating the Bills was our Super Bowl. Oh, 96? Yeah, that was a great game.
That was a good game. If the Bills had won that game, it would have been at home.
They would have been at home versus the Chiefs. Wow.
So we ruined their season. They would have been at home against the Chiefs, and the Colts would have made the playoffs.
Wow. My pinky would have been gone.
Possibly. Colts look good.
I'm so confident that Trevor Lawrence isn't a bust. If they don't make the AFC championship on his rookie contract, I will get five years.
I'll do four years. We don't even have to do five years.
We'll do five years. I will come up wherever we're recording.
I will go both of my big toenails removed. Oh, wow.
By Billy? Sure, but I got to get the painkillers. I'm not doing it straight.
No, you get painkillers in one. One leg.
Okay. So we have a test case of how pain.
He's got to get to the AFC Championship game in the next four years. You're insane.
This is the Jaguars we're talking about. Yeah, they just did it.
Lake Bordel isn't walking through that door. They just did it.
Chapsy. What? As your lawyer, I advise you not to do this.
I'm going to do it. But as your friend and someone who wants to see you in pain, I advise you to do it.
Now, what about Trevor Lawrence's long hair, though?

We've discussed all the time on this show.

You can't win a Super Bowl if you're a quarterback with long hair.

I think he's a trendsetter.

I think he can.

I think he's that guy.

But I also feel like there's going to be a time.

I wouldn't be surprised when he turns like 25 and he's like,

look, that's a young man's game.

Whoa, is that how he talks?

He's got a deep voice.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hey, Trevor, how did you like having Urban around? It sucked. It wasn't great.
Hey, Trevor, some people are calling you a bust. Imagine going from Dabo to Urban.
Because Dabo's a mile a minute. And Dabo ain't fingering nobody's butthole.
No. Maybe Jesus.
Right. He's got the crucifix right up there.
That's attack religious.

I'm sorry for saying that.

You should be.

All right, so what else is going on in your world?

Because the roast, for everyone to understand,

we have one single roast because they don't update.

Apple doesn't update.

Next time we'll have the roast that were submitted.

This time we can read the one roast, but what else is going on?

We just want to catch up with you.

We love you.

I don't have a whole lot going on, I'll be that's all right so don't say that why to like dave i've heard that doesn't work oh you want like a work update yeah i'm doing fucking podcast like who cares nice i'm doing military podcast still still doing that pop father is very fun we got a new channel called bar still grown up i saw that and large has given out some of these cooking tips unbelievable makes it easy even for the dumbest people to do it i gotta hop i'm back in on kool-aid yeah oh do you tell well i would notice i was getting back up there in lbs oh i had put on probably around 25 pounds and i think it was because i was hugely back into soda i've been watching your kool-aid it has sugar wait No, like the no see no no i'm talking squirt kool-aids okay yo the little uh they call them cordials yeah like those little things not actually act like putting the sugar into the kool-aid not doing that just a little quick squirt bottle what about water i don't like that water just water water doesn't do it for you what about this water's good though some water new york water yeah i like that water is fine but i also i want flavor and then i would always go to like a dr pepper or something like that so i've been back in on kool-aid big time that's great though that you just can cut that out like i always wish that i drank soda or beer too much of that stuff so i'd be like oh i'm gonna lose some weight by just cutting it out unfortunately i just eat like shit well it's because i've been addicted to that thousand pound sister show really all the super fatty shows i've been just consuming non-stop do they lose weight some of them and it's hilarious when they do because they think they look awesome and it gases me up like they are so confident that it just feels good watching yeah you used to watch the biggest loser show no jillian michaels because i felt like they did a lot of fat shaming so they did they did and there was like a real i i enjoyed the show for like five years i got really into the biggest loser because it's inspirational it was you know 53 of their body weight over the course of like nine months through working out and eating healthily through you know for the first time in their life but then one that I saw, this girl lost probably 60% of her body weight and she came out at the reveal at the end and she looked like she was going to die. And everybody in the audience was like, I don't think that we should, we should probably not clap for this.
And then they just took the show off the air. It's like when Kelly from The Office when she just starts drinking like hot honey so she can get into a toot like a bathing suit it's the same type of thing where eventually it gets a little bit unhealthy but watching them and how they get that spot is just uh it's an eye-opener because you could see you drink one soda you drink two next thing you know you're sitting in a recliner you can't move and you're pissing on a puppy pee pad and you've drank like 24 mountain deuce yeah just drink more water right so that's a good solution just drink more water you'll be healthier but don't drink three gallons a day like that psycho that that uh tweeted at there's no way that three to four gallons a day you would die it's drowning yourself yes i try to look up what the world record is for water consumption in a day but it gets to the point where they're like, anything over two and a half gallons is incredibly dangerous.
Yeah. Yeah.
If you do that, if three, four gallons a day for a year, that's crazy. You would die.
Apparently, if you drink that much water, you feel like you're high and then you just die. What's that term? Is it hydro glycemic, right? Yeah.
Because it floods your cells. The sodium content of your blood and your body dips so low that you're not even thinking straight.
It's almost like you're climbing a mountain without oxygen. You get hypoxia, I think.
Yeah, they changed the rules at boot camp. Because at boot camp, at the end of the day, they always talk about drinking water.
That's soft. Huge piss charts everywhere.
Like, where are you at? Are you a good teammate? Are you going to be a good teammate? You want to be a good teammate. Who doesn't? So everybody stands online at the end of the the night and they'll have two or three canteens and you're supposed to down them well people were doing that so much and getting forced water so much people were getting sick with hydroxycyon oh that's soft the chinese army doesn't do that no they don't do that they embrace they they drink water like a motherfucker oh yeah they fucking love what what are your thoughts on waterboarding um it's not fun it hurts a lot to give it or to take to receive have you done that yeah i've done it oh we're not giving it what never given wait what does it feel like like so you did it as a training how long did you do it for um just to see what it felt like and it wasn't even supervisors just me and some buddies damn.
We were in Okinawa. We just took turns doing it.

Tie yourself down.

Put the rag over your mouth, and you just have somebody pour water over you,

and it feels like you're legitimate and only drowning.

Holy shit.

It's not fun.

No.

I thought it was going to be fun when I did it with my buddies.

I was like, okay, this will be a cool thing that we can laugh at,

and then you just panic.

Yeah.

It does feel like you're underwater.

Billy?

Beer boarding is also not fun. Yeah.
That's good that you learned that on your own though yeah everyone's got to go through their they got to find their way on their own don't put it never mind just don't beer board yourself all right so chaps you got podcasts you've got uh long time toolies anything else that we're catching up with you you want to give us a big time Tommy? Sure, what do you want? I don't know, anything to get us motivated He's going down to Delray Beach He tags me every now and then Did you see the video of him diving straight up into the snow? No, I didn't see it You gotta check it out, it's on his Instagram page He's like, I'm getting out of New. Big time Tommy's going down to Delray, Florida where I can drive my Cadillacs and smoke

my cigars. And they just did a straight up

face plant into the snow and came up.

He's looking like the grizzly bear from the

I fucking love cocaine meme. It was awesome.

I wish we

would do something together. I feel like him and I

Yeah, why not? We could just motivate

the world just to be better. A Spider-Man meme.

He likes the part of my take Instagram posts. He does.
He tags me every now and then in random posts that I don't know. Where does he get all these cars? Are they all his? He's old school.
Or is he like a car dealer? He's old school. No, he's big time.
I think it's more old school than big time. Big time motors would be huge.
Big time motors? Yeah. Come on down and see big time.
You're getting fucked when you go to that dealership. You're in the market for a new Cadillac.

Come on down to Big Time.

He's got tattoos of dollar signs on both his arms.

He's like, I'll give you the greatest deal in town.

He's got old school Cadillacs and stuff.

He's a classic.

With every car, you get a 24-inch TV.

That's the old school way.

All right, give it to us.

All right.

This is a ballet motivational quote

successful people aren't born that way they become successful by establishing a habit of doing things unsuccessful people don't want to do that's the old school way os for life Ticketties

It always makes you laugh

How's Liver King doing?

Liver King, I'm out on Liver King old school way os for life ticketies we're not always makes you laugh how's liver king doing

liver king i'm out on liver king why i feel like liver king is canceled no not canceled but he's

so self-aware now oh like liver king you're not fucking putting a sled out and pulling it with

your teeth because you read about the mandibles of our ancient ancestors that's not what you're

doing it for the clicks have you seen the ones whereibles of our ancient ancestors. That's not what you're doing.

He's doing it for the cliques. Have you seen the ones where

he sleeps on essentially a cedar pallet?

Like he's got his bed in his room

which first of all he said he put some

paint up that's Wi-Fi proof because

that's not our ancient ancestors would never have

Wi-Fi in their room. That's true.
That's a fact.

It is true. They also didn't have rooms.

No and then he doesn't even

have Wi-Fi at his house but he'll'll have like a thousand-foot cord of Cat 5, like cord, that he pulls out into the middle of his yard, and that's where he does his business. Amazing.
Yeah, it seems to be bad, too, but he's got this pallet that's like two feet off the ground that's made from wood, and it's got maybe a half an inch thick mattress, and he's like, this is where me and Liver Queen get it on. Damn.
What are you going to say, Billy? Liver King, low-key a business genius. He is.
Because he's figured out how to sell. He's a rancher.
He's figured out how to sell the one part of cattle that was the hardest to sell, and that's the organ meat, and then he grinds it up, and the returns on one liver must be insane. How much time? Oh, yeah, because I bought some.
I bought some of the ancestral liver pills.

And how did it make you feel?

Oh, it gave me diarrhea.

But you had diarrhea anyway.

But it upped it.

It was like, here we go.

It was like diarrhea that went from being a Heisman Trophy winning quarterback in college,

and then they stepped on the NFL for the field, and the whole speed is just completely weird. So velocity increases.
Velocity and volume? Yeah. Diarrhea had diarrhea.
Yeah. I mean, you don't see Ed Reed coming across the middle when you're at LSU.
Yeah, right. You just don't.
Yeah, fuck. That sounds pretty cool, though.
The liver supplements? What do cows eat, though, that they would need to have a great liver? I feel like cows don't get fucked up. I don't know what they would need that liver for, Billy.
Cows got like seven stomachs. Yeah, it's true.
Yeah, but just the one liver, so it just works overtime. And the liver is enormous.
Have you seen the ones whenever they really pull it out and put it on a picnic table? It's legitimately the size of a pig. I've not seen that, no.
It's got to be a 90-pound liver, you think? Oh, I love love it liver king puts them on his shoulder and they're about the same size of his whole torso yeah I would say it's probably a 90 pound liver Jesus Christ that's a lot of a lot of liver pills you can sell a lot of diarrhea pills a lot of nutrients in there buddy well you're probably not doing the simulated hunts though no not nearly as much as I should you're absolutely right so then the pills probably don't no the pills probably don't have the right effect on you no they wouldn't you haven't you haven't embraced the entire liver king primal program and just here now because we are every time i come on i feel like we're very honest i haven't done a lick of a super serious saturday simulated hunt i haven't done one where we go where we go super what does he call it going super savage mode on saturdays oh no I haven't done a single one of those Well that's why The liver pills don't work Probably You're just not doing it right No And I haven't eaten Nary a Single fermented chicken egg Oh man That's tough man This guy's slacking I've been doing Simulated hunts With my dog And Ben Mince On the weekends. Hunting who? Mince.
Mince gets simulated

prey. I love it.
So I make, I

give him like a 10 minute head start

and he goes and runs. And then

I have this new leash with my dog

that wraps around my waist. So

hands free and then he runs. So then

we go looking for him. In the city?

No, no. This is in where we live, in the neighborhood.

So he gets in. Wait, so that's

a city? Yes, but it's like, it's a little bit It sounded like it was the wood It's not legal to do that in New York It's sort of like a hide and seek game Then you wrestle How many times have you done this? Once, you see Ben got a little too tired And it got a little too cold So he was just sitting there out of breath on a park bench? Exactly. So I thought he'd be moving, but Ben, it's...
Did you put anything of Ben's around your dog? No, so what we did... Are you trying to teach him to track? What we did is we put a little treats in his pocket and we made him smell before.
It's quite the scene. Yeah.
You know, you got to get him in shape some way. I have a theory that the fear might up his metabolism.
That's a... I think that's a fact.
i'm saying have you trained your dog how to attack at all i think that would really do a little aggression nah i'm just more than food motivation as opposed to because then if ben has to come feed him and he's like ben's prey yeah you got a problem well you would feed him be good content yeah yeah and he would just treat him like a cat yeah damn that was that was me that was something. Be good content.
Yeah. And he would.
Just treats him like a cat. Yeah.
Damn. That was.
That was mean. That was something.
Sorry, Chaps. Don't leave Billy's dog and Ben Mintz alone together.
Chaps, do you have any questions for us? Anything you need to get off your chest while you're here? Do you guys think Joe Burrow is actually cute? Yeah. No, not cute.
He's devastatingly attractive. He's's good looking but do you think he's sexy or is it his personality both that makes him sexy i think i feel like it's more personality than just straight up look i don't think that he would be as attractive if he had a different personality with that look i think the look and personality work together symbiotically i think he's a good a good looking dude and then the personality makes him a great looking Yeah, because when he shows up in those Cartier glasses and he has that coat on, you just want to pull that thing out and give it a little suck.
It's a swag. I mean, no matter who you are.
Confidence. Yeah.
It's just unbelievable. Just a tiny little kiss.
Yeah. Maybe not even a suck.
Just a lick. If you win a Super Bowl in Cincinnati, do you think that's the best spot that you could win it right now? No, Buffalo.
Buffalo? Oh, yeah, Buffalo. Detroit probably up there.
Buffalo, I think. But it's in the top five.
Cincy, Jacksonville, Buffalo. Don't.
I don't know if I'm true. I know Jacksonville's not there.
Yeah, if you win a Super Bowl in Jacksonville, you're a king forever. No, I think that credit goes to their head coach, Byron Leftwich, for turn of the franchise.
That might be true.

I think it would be Cincy, Cleveland, Detroit, Buffalo.

I actually do think if you want it in Chicago,

because look what everyone talks about the 85 Bears.

But you guys have won.

Right, but I always say the punter from the 85 Bears

sells cars.

You know what I mean? So if Rex Grossman won it, do you think that would go? Yeah, it would be pretty off the charts. I also think that Dallas Cowboys, if you win a Super Bowl for the Cowboys, you become a thing for the rest of your life.
That's a very good one. I think it's Detroit, Buffalo, and Cincy.
Oh, I think Detroit, Buffalo, Cleveland are top three. Cincy, four.
Also, New England, until you turn your back on that franchise and your fans 15 years down the line and forget about everything they did for you. But until that point, you'll be a legend there.
It's 20 years, but... Watching that, the Patriots fans just reading it, it's got to be coming soon.
I thought there was going to be... It is.
It is. It's still like seven times to the size coming.
If it's a one-page note app, you're like, okay, well, he might not have been able to put those two words in there. No, it was one page.
He just split it up. Into eight.
I did think there was going to be one that was going to just be like, and to Dave Portnoy, thank you for going to jail for me. Yeah.
Like, also that blog post about my son.

Maybe he should come on y'all show to explain.

I agree.

They had to go like this reading it.

They're like, all right, Patriots, but nothing about Patriots.

All right, nothing.

Wait, no, nothing about New England.

Wait, how many more dots do I have?

Okay, still four more dots.

I mean, you could tell halfway through his part that he wrote about Bruce Arians.

You could tell Brady was teared up.

Oh, yeah. And that like you could see the shaking.
I wish he hadn't threaded them. It would have been even funnier.
They were just, you know, when someone tries to do a thread and they just fail. Or the super annoying one where they'll quote tweet it and add more.
So then you got to go back fucking 20 years. Yes.
Like a Rex Chapman prompt. At least when they're individual tweets, you can just go through their timeline.
The other way is the most annoying. All right.
Well, ch for coming on you want to pick a number yeah I'm going to do number 21 I'm going to mix it up now I'm going to do 12 oh is it bad luck to say it before it starts spinning no it's just bad luck in general this machine is bad luck I'm going to say... Why is this machine bad luck? It's not.

I kind of like it.

44.

I don't like it. 50, you're coming off a win.

I know.

What the fuck?

Why are you bashing this?

I did.

I said I kind of like it.

69.

Honestly, I still have PTSD.

No offense, chaps.

From the Blake of the Year contest.

56 for the Super Bowl.

12.

I'm going to go 1.

Come on, 21.

Oh.

45.

Billy's favorite number.

No, that's 46, right?

No, he loves...

45.

He loves 45.

He just loves all presidents.

Yes.

Just a fan of the game.

Huge. There you go.
Love you guys. Love you.
Do you have a fact, Billy? Llamas and alpacas spit. Hey.
Did you know that? Yeah, dude. It's hot.
I don't think you knew that. I know so much about llamas and alpacas.
What's your favorite one? Between the two? Yeah. More of an alpaca guy.
Okay. They're cute.
It checks out. I think llamas are bigger, right two yeah more of an alpaca guy okay they're cute it checks out i think llamas are bigger right yeah and the alpacas fur is a lot softer yeah you can you can actually make a good amount of money raising alpacas in this country oh buddy you make an alpaca sweater huh yeah you're swimming in cash i think that's my retirement plan i think i just move out to the country somewhere and get an alpaca farm.
That would be awesome.

I'll come too.

Alpacas also ward off coyotes and predators.

If you have a flock of sheep, goats, you want to throw an alpaca in there.

That's got to be so confusing for the coyotes, though, because the coyote, if it sees an alpaca,

it's probably like, ooh, tasty treat.

Alpacas look like they'd be great coyote food, right?

They spit.

They spit.

They'll spit right in that coy. They spit.
They'll spit

right in that coyote's eye.

They'll spit the shit

out of the coyote.

Coyote. Today's another day to find you Shying away I'll tell you I'm out.
I'm tired, I don't know So fearless to sleep I'm odds and ends

But I'll be your stomach in a way

Slowly learn that the light is open

Stay after me

It's not better to be safe than sorry

Stay on me

I'm sorry. It's not better to be safe than sorry Take on me Take me around Take on me I'll be gone And I'll be gone

I'll be gone

I'll be gone