Super Wild Card Weekend Recap, Fastest 2 Minutes & Mike McCarthy's Dumb Brain

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On today's part of my take, super wild card weekend, full weekend of football. We watched, felt like football forever, and it wasn't enough.
We got another game on Monday night, which we will talk about. we have who's back of the week we have fastest two minutes we have a great monday football monday show for you ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working nah neither has ariot ariot work jackets and boots are packed with all the cold stopping waterproof protection you need to get the job done under any conditions so you can take any job out there and always deliver.
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All on the sun, oh no. We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.

And then we'll take it higher.

Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.

And then we'll take it higher.

It's Part of My Take, presented by Barstool Sports.

Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by Coors Light.

Today is Monday, January 17th.

Super wild card weekend.

Whop! Whop! Whop! Whop! Whop!

We start in Cincinnati where TJ saved the drama for Uzama.

Opened the scoring in this game as Mike Tirico was looking down upon his Italian brother, Rich Basicchia. Huh? Huh? What? Huh? What, boom? Zaytoven Jones and the refs lost their sense of hearing as Jerome Boger.
McFarlane will be watching the rest of the playoff games from his own special seating. Evian McPherson was wet from range, and the Raiders had one last chance to tie the game late, but Jermaine, ooh baby, I like it like Pratt.
Touch me, touch me like that before I turn into this Cinderella back into a pumpkin. And the Raiders fall short.
Send that text message, Bengals fans. We did it, Joe.
Bengals 26, the Raiders 19. What? In western New York, where Josh Allen popped his Viagra and warning, please see a doctor if blowouts last longer than three hours.
Dawson, knocks, knocks. Who's there, boom? Imo.
Imo who? I'm open to get in the end zone as the Bills kept the clowning going all night.

There must be some kind of way out of here as Dante all along the watchtower contemplates retirement after his showing Saturday night.

The game was well out of hand when Hunter Henry Biden dropped a touchdown like it was a laptop filled with incriminating emails.

The Bills in a rout.

And no one circles the wagons like the Buffalo Buildos. Bills, 47.
Patriots, 17. Down to Tampa Bay where Keyshawn Ricky Vaughn proved he belongs in the major leagues.
The Bucks and Hit Me Brady one more time are looking to repeat his champs. And Mike Sean Evans was a hot one on Sunday going for 117 and a tutty.
Giovanni Bernard Sanders did his best on offense to hold back the Crimson Tide Red Wave Jalen Hurts. And Philly is consoling themselves by taking enough shots of Jalen Rägermeister to forget where they are.
Beer before liquor, you'll never be sicker. Jalen before Justin, you just drafted a bustin'.
Bucks 31, Eagles 15. That was very mean.
You're just saying what we're all thinking, Boom. Over to the Big D, where Placebo Samuel had more of a psychological effect on the game than Cowboys fans would have liked.
It wasn't all losses for Cowboys fans, though, as it looked like Elijah Mitchell Trubisky would run away with the MVP, but Gak Prescott was the one who got slimed. When you're on a long drive and your line jumps offside, that's some R.A.
Cooper couldn't do enough to offset all the flags, and in a touching tribute to my good friend John F. Kennedy, Mike McCarthy also lost his mind in Dallas.
Too soon, boom. Niners, 23.
Cowboys, 17. We finish in Kansas City, where they played a game of whose watt is it anyway, as TJ Derek Watt got the scoring started for the Steelers.
Nice hit, Hank. It quickly flipped Kansas City's wave with a Byron Pringle touchdown because once you pop, you just can't stop unless you run out of fireworks.
Lake Travis Kelsey got Austin translation to end the half with a breakdown in Steelers' defense costing them before intermission. It looked like the Chiefs could put up 100 as big man Nick Allegretti White found the end zone.
Let us be the first to wish Big Ben a happy retirement. There's a warm P.F.
Chang's booth waiting for you, Ben, with your name on it. You deserve it.
The bagbag's Trump. Yeah.
You deserve it, Ben. You deserve it.
What a treat. Yeah.
Make sure you wear your motorcycle helmet. Chiefs 42, Steelers 21.
All right. Super wild card weekend.
Before we get to the games, PFT, you had a quick word? Yeah, before we jump right in, I got a question for you, Big. When your home system or appliance breaks down, American Home Shield will help fix or replace the covered item, no matter its age.
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And in the books, it was a great weekend of football. Well, there were some moments.
There was a lot of games that weren't great. I would like to say to the people that are saying we should not have a seventh playoff seed, you're wrong.
Fuck you. I can do it in verbal meme fashion, which is Winnie the Pooh saying we should not have seven playoff teams.
Tuxedo Winnie the Pooh saying maybe we shouldn't have the 18th week because if we didn't have that last week, these matchups would have been better. Yeah.
It probably would have been like the Chargers playing against the Chiefs, and it probably would have been maybe even the Saints. It's like when they expanded the NCAA tournament to 68 teams, and everyone's like, why the fuck do we need these first four games? And then you watch them, and you're like, well, yeah, I mean, it's sports.
I'll watch it. I don't care.
What do you want me to say? Next week, the games might be closer. Yeah, there were some blowouts.
I don't care. I want more football.
Yeah, it's more football. Period.
I'm excited for more football. We have a game tonight, which is incredible.
The fact that we have that sitting for us after a full weekend of football is awesome. So, yeah.
Dummies. You're just playing the results.
One year, a seventh seed will get hot, and they'll beat the the two seed and everyone will look like an idiot. Well, be careful

what you wish for because if you root for a team

that's borderline that would

be that seventh seed and we get rid of that

seventh seed, you're going to hate yourself. Yeah.

Because that's, just making the postseason

means so much. I speak

as a team that's like, that's our ceiling really.

Yeah. Is the seventh seed just like you and the Bears

last year, right? Like, just

getting to the playoffs, that's absolutely worth having that extra seat in there. It's a whole week to get excited.
So we'll start with Sunday night, then we'll go back in time to Saturday afternoon. Big Ben, the finale, it's over.
There was a moment in time when T.J. Watt returned that fumble for a touchdown, and Hank thought he had just won $3,000 off a $25 bet because he thought he bet T.J.
Watt first touchdown. He actually bet Derek Watt first touchdown, which, Hank, are you okay now? Yeah, I'm doing all right.
I'm just going to quickly explain my logic. I know on this show, I don't know if I've said it on this show, you guys know this, every primetime game I bet the quarterback to score the first touchdown, and I usually pick one player from each team.
I knew Big Ben wasn't going to score, and I was looking at the odds, and at the very, very bottom, literally at the very, very bottom, it said Watt plus 12,500. Crazy odds.
And I was like, oh, Derek Watt, TJ Watt, Defensive Player of the Year. They must have thrown this on knowing that he's Defensive Player of the Year.
Who knows? I was like, fuck it. Those are good odds.
TJ Watt, you never know what's going to happen. And we also talked about TJ Watt scoring a touchdown as being part of the formula for success for the Steelers.
Which you definitely spent on part of my take. Great move, Jake.
Hank listening to us in part of my take. That seeps into his mind.
But then it becomes an age-old battle of Hank against the English alphabet. And you saw Watt.
You didn't even read the first name. I didn't even read the first name.
I didn't even think about it. It was such a long shot.
And then all of a sudden, TJ Watt gets a fumble six. And I was paralyzed with excitement and hope.
Big Cow was pumping me up. Everyone was gassing me up.
I was so excited for you.

And then I tweeted out and someone that was with

us at the stream was like, no, it's

Derek Watt, not TJ Watt.

Our touch grass moment of the

week for people online, I got

tagged in a thread where people were saying

you just made that whole thing up and you were

acting and you knew it was Derek Watt. You have to

understand, we are very stupid. That

was all authentic. I don't think we could have pulled that off.
Go watch it. We'll put it on the Pardon My Take Instagram.
It was from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows, but that moment is perfect for this game because that moment happened and the Steelers were playing the Chiefs to a draw in the first quarter and it was like okay, the Steelers wereers are doing everything they need to do minus the fact they couldn't get a first down. Their defense is all over the place.
T.J. Watt has completely wrecked this game.
He had to basically cause an interception, got that fumble for a touchdown, and there was that glimmer of, ooh, this might be magic. The Steelers might actually do this.
This is going to be crazy.

And then, I don't know how it always works this way,

but the scoring finally starts off a stalemate,

and the Chiefs woke up,

and then the Chiefs just went into full-blown,

fuck you, we're the Chiefs mode for the rest of the game,

and scored so much that they ran out of fireworks.

They went super gremlin on everyone.

They actually ran out of fireworks?

They had a message on the video board that was like,

sorry, we've run out of fireworks.

I don't know. so much that they ran out of fireworks.
They went super gremlin on everyone. They actually ran out of fireworks? They had a message on the video board that was like, sorry, we've run out of fireworks.
That's on the Chiefs for underestimating Patrick Mahomes. And also, you're the Chiefs.
I think there's a big enough body of evidence here to say that, yeah, you should go to Costco for the fireworks. You should buy in bulk for the Chiefs.
If you had told me actually going into this game that the Steelers would score 21 points, I would say that's incredible. They got a chance.
That's incredible. They scored 21 points because their offense most of the time looks like it's basically Big Ben hands the ball off.
Sometimes really late. Yeah, late.
He'll do it. He does pump fakes on the handoffs where he second guesses himself, takes it away, and then puts it back.
And other times he'll just like drop back three yards, stand perfectly still, and then just throw the ball down the sideline. You know what it's like? It's like, not even if you took a child playing Madden calling the plays, it's like if you took a European child who plays soccer their whole life, and then you give them a game of Madden to play, and you're like, okay, try run an offense that's essentially what the Steelers offense looks like most of the time it's the most confusing thing to watch because the Steelers offensive line is their weakness and they like great coaches and this isn't really I wouldn't say it's on Mike Tomlin he's not the one calling the plays it's Matt Canada but great coaches be like all right this is what we're bad at at so let's figure out a way to overcome this and game plan around our weaknesses.
They do the exact opposite and they're like, alright, our offensive line can't block. Let's make sure that every single play takes a really long time to develop.
And it's either a play where receivers run out and then come back to the ball and they throw it before the sticks, or it's a deep pass and Big Ben can't move really because his legs are shot and it's basically a Hail Mary to Chase Claypool when he's double covered. Those are the only plays.
And then run the ball into the line for like a yard and a half. Yeah, the runs into the line are set up.
They're even slow because Big Ben doesn't go under center. He goes and shotgun, which you would think you can just get the ball and hand it off immediately.
But when he turns to the side, it's like a Midwestern person scooting past you in a supermarket being like, oh, sorry, let me just scoot by real quick. He slowly rotates his body, hands the ball to Najee, and then Najee's getting tackled immediately.
They probably run the most plays that go for exactly zero yards of any NFL team.

What was his final stat line?

Because I predicted it beforehand.

I said he was going to be 27 for 64 for 127 yards.

29 for 44, 215.

Oh, so he lit up some yards at the end. So wait, what was it, 29 for 44?

Yeah, 215.

That wasn't that far off.

Yeah, he maybe didn't have as many.

92.5.

Yeah, so I mean, and that's kind of indicative of, like, Big Ben's season, where if you look at his stats afterwards, you're like, oh, he's still got something. He can come back.
And then you watch it, and you're like, no, no, no, no. There's not a lot there.
And in a weird way, it's like, obviously, I mean, the Steelers weren't going to win the Super Bowl. It's almost better that they lost this way because, like, it really is over.
over. It's done.
We've said our goodbyes. Shout out Mike Tomlin for calling that last time out with 11 seconds left so that Big Ben could try to end on a touchdown, which would have been a hilarious.
You almost got us tied and killed on the last play. Yeah, but hilarious.
We're cheering a touchdown when we lost by 14 in the playoffs, and it really wasn't that close. Because the Chiefs, they went into full clown mode.
They were throwing to big guys. They were doing the shovel passes.
Travis Kelsey threw one. They basically just opened the playbook and were like, yeah, they can't really stop anything.
Let's just have fun. It's crazy that Andy Reid was using all the fun plays this week, knowing that they have to play the Bills next weekend.
So imagine what they have in store. If this was the cute stuff that they had drawn up this week, they probably got

some crazy stuff on deck for next week.

Yeah, and it was a

very good reminder that the Chiefs are still

like, I mean...

They're still the Chiefs. They're very much the Chiefs.

Well, no, because Rabel wants us to not give the Titans any credit. The Chiefs are still the team to beat.
There you go. The Chiefs are, yeah, they're the team that you don't want to play still, even though they've been the team that...
They're in like year five of being the team that you don't want to play. Also, Tyree Kill I don't see.

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I don't want to play still, even though they've been the team. They're in like year five of being the team that you don't want to play.
Also, Tyreek Hill, like the only thing that anyone who's rooting against the Chiefs right now is like, oh, Tyreek Hill might be banged up, and then he did a somersault in the end zone on a score that wasn't even a score. A backflip.
Backflip, yeah. He did a roundoff with a back handspring and then a backflip, and he stuck all of it.
I think his heel is just fine. And he didn't even score on that play.
And he didn't score. He came down like an inch short of it.
And I was thinking back to before the game when Big Ben was saying, no one's giving us a chance. We might as well just go out there and have fun.
And everyone was like, oh, Big Ben's being sarcastic trying to get his guys. I actually think Big Ben was being completely serious.
Oh, yes. He was like, hey, guys, the media's guys is double-digit underdogs.
We can't throw intermediate passes. Deontay can't catch unless it's a tennis ball.
They're saying all this bad stuff about us. I'm reading that I'm physically incapable of running an offense right now.
I think it was just actually being dead serious. I don't think that Big Ben's sarcastic at all.
No, he was being dead serious and he was exactly right. This game was never...
Like I said, for 18 minutes, it felt like oh man, they're doing... You check the boxes.
Turnovers. Defensive touchdown.
Getting off the field on third down. And then once TJ Watt scored that touchdown, it just...
It was an avalanche. The end of the half situation where the Steelers literally couldn't get a first down

to just go into, they weren't trying to score.

They were just trying to get a first down so the Chiefs wouldn't score

and they weren't able to do that and then the Chiefs did score.

It was like, all right, it's over.

There's nothing we can do about this.

They couldn't even control the clock in that game because you couldn't get a first down.

Right.

Their offense was just that bad going into it. It was frustrating if you're a Steelers fan.
Mike Tomlin told you to cut your eyelids off before the game, so at least we got a good Mike Tomlin quote out of it. Cut your eyelids off.
We don't want guys that are blinking out here. Just sew them shut.
In a weird way, I don't know if that's... There's a couple this weekend where like, and we'll get to the Eagles game, but I don't even know if you're like sad if you're a Steelers fan.
You're sad because Big Ben, it's over. But if you had said halfway through this season, like the Steelers are going to make the playoffs in a crazy week 18 like string of events to get Big Ben one more playoff game, you wouldn't have believed it.
So it was all house money at this point. And, yeah, they got killed by the Chiefs, but everyone expected them to get killed by the Chiefs.
And I don't know. It's like you know you've got to move on.
You know there's a shitload of, like, decisions to be made. You need to figure out who the quarterback's going to be going forward.
If I were a Steelers fan, I don't think I'd be that sad today because you were never close. You know what I mean? You were clearly the most hampered team in the field.
I think if you're a Steelers fan, you've been sad all season just because it's been very tough to watch football. It has never been pretty.
Never been anything short of just like, wow, I hope that we can string another win together with duct tape and string somehow. But going into this offseason, I think it's not like, you're not sad that you lost this game.
You're sad that you have to completely do everything differently on offense next year. Right.
Literally everything. He's got Najee Harris.
He should stick. And you actually have good wide receivers.
Yeah. Love Harris.
He's a great player. You've got two good wide receivers.
I mean, that's the craziest part. You actually, I mean, Firemuth is good.
Chase Claypool's good. Deontay Johnson can't catch, but when he can, he's good.
And Juju Smith-Schuster might be back as well. So they have pieces on offense.
They just need a quarterback in an offensive line. Yeah, Deontay Johnson, in much the same way that Ben Simmons is a great basketball player if there's no basket, Deontay is an outstanding wide receiver if there's no football.
Right. He will absolutely get open.
You just need to completely redo your offensive line and the quarterback position. Yeah, right.
But in terms of if you look at the entire NFL, the Steelers are not in a bad... No, you could be doing a lot worse.
It wasn't Big Ben with it. His last ride was with all his guys, old guys, old team.
It was just Big Ben is really, really old. And that's, like, if they had a mobile quarterback tonight, someone threw out the name Trubisky during this game.
I was like, Trubisky would have fucking been awesome on the Steelers this year. Yeah.
He would have. Trubisky's going to be a name that people talk about.
He got a save. He got a quarterback save this weekend.
He got a quarterback save. I also, one last thing about this game.
I think we need the new scorer Gami. This is my personal scorer Gami.
I love whenever a game has just touchdowns and no two-point conversions because it's rare now. Field goals and two-point conversions.
42-21 is just a cool score. It's like a cool score Gami.
A lot of special teams guys around the league at the weekend off. Yeah when they played right now Bill's punter.
Yeah, but I just love I don't know I just love that like if a game ends 28 21 or 30 Maybe it's just my simple brain. No, it's because you can look at it and you can immediately Deconstruct how the game went right right.
It's just fun. It's like a matter of 42 21.
Yeah, right I like it. I'm also.
I told Hank this earlier. To your point, the over hit from the first touchdown to the over hitting in 21 and a half minutes of game time.
That's crazy. Because if you watched that first quarter, you're like, the Chiefs will probably figure out a way to score a few touchdowns.
The Steelers will never score a touchdown. And then it all just, the floodgates open.
10-41 second quarter and then 4 4-10 third quarter. That's insane.
Went from zero to 49. Also, bad news if you're the rest of the AFC, but it looks like the Chiefs have another good running back in the playoffs.
Playoff Jarek, maybe. Who, like, it was so mean that Al Michaels, or maybe it was Chris Collinsworth, was like, Jarek McKinnon, you remember him, he was on the 49ers where he was injured for two years.
Yeah. It's like, well,'t be so nervous of because he was saying that Clyde Edwards-Alaire should look over his shoulder even when he gets healthy because Jarek McKinnon is going to steal his job I don't think that you can lose your starting running back job to a guy that wears number one a guy that wears number one is always going to be a change of pace guy he's going to be a guy that will catch the ball like a screen Third down back.
I don't know if you can trust a guy that wears number one in pass protection. Yeah, you probably can't.
I also like in playoff football, I don't think you can have enough running backs. You know what I mean? Because you just keep them fresh.
Keep them rolling in and out. Like look at all the teams.
I mean, you saw it with the Bucs today. You obviously saw it with the 49ers.
Have a bunch of guys running the ball. Packers have a couple running backs.
I just, I think that's actually a great thing instead of being like, hey, we got one guy who's just going to get 30 carries. Why not have two or three guys who get 10 to 15 each? Yeah.
How many plays do you think Andy Reid has drawn up that has a different guy that just, in a goal line set, delays, delays, and then runs up the middle to get a shovel pass yeah I think he probably has a bunch of different iterations yeah it his entire offense inside the five yard line is based around one guy running directly up the middle of his offensive line after catching a shovel pass um one last thing so Eric B enemy obviously is gonna get or he should get a head coaching job at some point if he wants one so. Yeah, like why would you want one if you're him? It's almost, I mean Brent Venable is now obviously at Oklahoma but he was the defensive coordinator forever at Clemson because he got paid a ton of money.
If you're an offensive coordinator and you have Travis Kelsey and Tyreek Hill and a bunch of speedsters and Patrick Mahomes is your quarterback, I don't know. I'd just be like, this is kind of sweet.
Like pay me enough money that I'm not resentful, and I'll keep doing this because it's fucking fun. You're not really going to find a better situation than you got in Kansas City right now.
And you maybe can wait it out. What's that name? You just shook his head at us.
I'm just saying financially. Yeah, no, I'm saying pay me enough money.
Like, Brent Venables was a case where they were paying him enough money that he didn't get resentful. Obviously, it's crazy how much more money you can make as a head coach,

but if you get paid enough money that you're happy

and your situation is great, I don't know.

What is the old saying?

Heavy is the...

Heavy is the head that wears the crown.

Right.

Like you don't have to be criticized much.

Andy Reid gets most of that blame.

And Andy Reid might have whispered to you, hey, I'm going to retire eventually. It can be yours.
Patrick Mahomes is going to play for another 15 years. That would be a pretty sweet setup.
Pretty sweet setup. That would be incredible if Patrick Mahomes played for another 15 years.
It also would be a great move by Eric Bien-Aimé to actively be like, I never want to leave and have a handshake deal with Andy Reid but also have the media be on his behalf being like, Eric Biennium should get a job. This is an injustice.
It's great. That's a win-win all around.
Would you rather, and I don't know his salary right now, but would you rather be the offensive coordinator for the Chiefs and make let's call it $600,000 a year or be the head coach? Definitely more. More than that? Yeah, because I mean...
Let's call it a million then let's not be an easy number there's college guys that make a million plus so you make a million bucks as the offense coordinator of the Kansas City Chiefs you have all the toys that one boy could have or would you rather be the head coach for the New York Giants yeah or the Chicago Bears or the Miami Dolphins that are just dumpster fires of franchises in In New York, you make, what did they pay them? Probably like $3 million, $2.5 million a year. Let's call it $3 million a year.
New York taxes. And you also lose every game.
Yeah. Yeah.
I'd probably, I'd rather stay in Kansas City and have everybody be like, that guy's a genius in Kansas City for another three years until you either get a job that opens up that you actually want or you get the keys to the kingdom.

You could have Andy Reid be your boss where...

You get to hang out with Andy Reid.

Every disagreement is squashed over a burger or a ribeye. Or like, yeah, three steaks.
Yeah, or you can have John Mara or George McCaskey be your boss and just creep you out all the time because they're fucking old and they have dumb brains and they whisper with their stale breath in your ear that you're not doing a good job. Their teeth fall out when they're berating you after a loss.
A pretty easy choice for me. The whole office smells like death.
Or would you rather hang out with a fat jolly guy that wears Hawaiian shirts and shorts all the time? Who's like, I'll take the blame. Yeah.
Like, don't worry. If we lose, people will just blame me for timeouts.
The only thing that would drive the Jackson-Holmes factor. Yeah.
I would get sick of him showing up and telling me what to do. Maybe everyone loves him there.
Never thought about that. What if Jackson was actually the world's nicest guy? And everyone loved him? Yeah.
Maybe. Chiefs, though, are awesome.
This game on next Sunday night is going to be incredible. We'll get to Bill's Patriots.
Let's start. Let's go back in time, though.
Bengals-Raiders, the Cincinnati Bengals, win their first playoff game in 31 years. Incredible, incredible afternoon for the Bengals, for their fans, for Cincinnati.
I said on Sunday morning, there's no better feeling in sports. Obviously, maybe winning a Super Bowl.
So besides that, there's no better feeling in sports than playing the first playoff game, or if it were like a tournament game, if you played in the round of 32 on Saturday afternoon, and then getting to watch stress-free football or basketball for the rest of the weekend, being like, we're in the next round. Waking up on Sunday morning, if you're a Bengals fan, you probably got super fucked up, rightfully so, and then you got to sit on your couch and watch a bunch of teams and be like, well, they've got to struggle to get where we are.
This is an awesome weekend for Bengals fans because you got to get hammered before the game. You got to get hammered after the game.
You got to extend your being drunk into watching football

all day Sunday. You probably have Monday

off for MLK Day. This is

been an outstanding weekend for

any Bengals fan, and you honestly deserve

it. The entire city of Cincinnati

should get a ring just for winning a playoff

game. It's crazy.
It's been 1991?

Was that the last time? 1991. Send the text

messages. Send the text messages.

You've got, you had so

many years with Marvin Lewis where you were

kind of like at the text messages you've got you had so many

years with Marvin Lewis where you were

kind of like at the door

for a long time

and you never got over that hump

CJ Uzama I feel happy for that guy

because he was around for the Marvin Lewis days

and he got to see what he must feel like he

hit the absolute lottery

having the team just completely change around him

going through like a big

pile of shit for a few years there in the middle

I'm just happy for people since everyone gets

to hit the absolute lottery. Having the team just completely change around him, going through a big pile of shit for a few years there in the middle.
I'm just happy for people that says everyone gets a ring in Cincinnati. Jerry Springer? Everyone gets a game ball because Zach Taylor went out afterwards.
He actually had CJ Uzama go out as well. He gave a few game balls out to different players and was like, go give these out at bars, which is such a cool move.
He went to a bar. He promised that if they won a playoff game, he would give a game ball to the fans of Cincinnati.
So he went to a bar. It was sick.
Like, imagine just being at a bar after your team wins a playoff game for the first time in 31 years. You're drunk, and the coach walks in, and everyone's like, wait, is that the coach? I don't know what he looks like.
And then he presents a game ball. That's pretty cool.
Yeah, no, it's actually a very smart strategy to get the drunkest people in your city to be huge time supporters of you. And know your face.
Yeah, those are the guys that will be calling for your job on Sports Talk Radio. If you walk in and shake their hand one time after a playoff win, they're like, he's actually a really nice guy.
I like that guy. They'll have your back.
I was thinking about it because the fact the Bengals won, they get to play again next week, obviously, in another big game, and this is essentially the world is doing when you get your new iPhone and you have to rotate your face so it can recognize your face for the lock screen. We're doing that with Zach Taylor.
We're going to see him enough that we're now going to be able to pick him out of a crowd. Wait, you did that? Because I'm not fully comfortable.
You gave Steve Jobs your face? Yeah, of course. It's the fucking best technology ever that you can just open your phone with just looking at it.
I never do it. Wait, you unlock your phone every time manually? Every single time.
That's weird. I get the passcode in there.
Dude, because they don't have everything's what I'm saying the crazy part is like I've got all my credit card information stored in there I've got my home address in there everything they own us literally everything about my personal life in there but I'm like not my face that's like it's not like my face is not out there anywhere else it's like doing the clear technology people like oh you want yeah you want the TSA and them they own us I gave them my face too i have everything i give a lot of face out to a lot of people but i will never give face to steve jobs oh it's the best technology ever never just fucking do it i will never do it but i just won't it's a that every man's got to have a line and mine is a terrible i will not allow my phone to scan my face into it but yeah we're doing that with that we're figuring out figuring out Zach Taylor. Real leaders do their best work in beer halls.
I like that he's going in there and he's making friends with the locals and especially catching them in a moment. This is just an outstanding win for the city of Cincinnati.
I'm happy for them. It's about time that they got to celebrate anything.
Yeah, absolutely. After Harambe.
After Harambe, our sweet prince. The game sucked in terms of flow.
It was a ref show. It was also a field goal show.
There's eight field goals made, which tied the record, playoff record. It was basically stalled drive after stalled drive.
And then the ref show got very bad. The whistle that people are complaining about, two things can be true at the same time.
One, the whistle I do not think had any impact on that play. If you missed it, there was a whistle that was blown at the very end of Joe Burrow's touchdown pass to Boyd.
And by rule, if there's an inadvertent whistle, the play is just dead. Like, they just have to redo the play no matter what the outcome is.
So, if you watch it, it happened at the very last second, like, as he was about to catch the ball. The fact that the NFL is like, it happened after he caught the ball, do they think that we're all so stupid that we can't just watch the replay? Like, it didn't.
It happened right before he caught the ball. It's like 1984.
When they're telling us what happened, history is controlled by the winners. It's crazy.
They're saying, like, we have always been at war with East Asia. And we're like, no, I remember, like, I was cool with those people two weeks ago.
But, yeah, they're telling us that we did not hear the whistle. There was a fucking whistle there.
It was a whistle. It happened before the catch.
It didn't have anything to do with it. It didn't impact the play.
If they had flipped that result over, if they had said, okay, we're going to replay that down, I would have been fucking pissed off. Even though they're right, there was a whistle.
You should not call that play back. Sometimes I'm okay with Big Brother lying to me a little bit.
And in this case, I think I'll let the lie wash over me like a warm blanket and I'll'll be happy with it because nothing should have changed about that play. But they're gaslighting us.
They're gaslighting us to think that the whistle happened after. It's like we all have eyes, ears, and a brain.
We know when the whistle happened. Again, it had no impact on the play.
The play should have stood, but it happened before he caught the ball. It just did.
You just watch it and it did. It was Joe Burrow's coming out party.
I think that's fair to say. He's officially, now in my book at least, an elite quarterback.
The guy has ice water in his veins. By the shirts, Barstool store.
Good point, Jake. Where is it? Where can they find that? BarstoolsportselSports.com Joe Burrow Elite Shirts.
Yeah, Joe Cool.

He is fucking elite.

He just, his heart rate never gets higher than like 50.

Anytime there's a pass rush coming out of him,

he'll do that really cool little like sidestep out of it,

keep his eyes downfield.

He's unflappable. It's a perfect case study in like what a franchise quarterback can do for an organization for a city.
The Bengals didn't have a playoff win for 31 years. Joe Burrow has been a Bengal for two years, and half of it he tore his ACL for, and he still has got them with a playoff win for the first time in 31 years.
If you draw it up, hey, we just need our guy, this is what it looks like. It looks like Joe Burrow coming in.
Obviously, they made some moves. They had decent roster decisions on defense and free agency, Jamar Chase.
But it starts with Joe Burrow and what he does to change an entire swagger of an organization. That's what it is.
That's what it looks like. He's so good now that I feel like we almost have to start doing the nitpicking thing that we do with with the best of the best where we find something where we're like hey this is this is actually what i don't like about you well here here we gotta keep him grounded i i have one too i have one just because he he played the they lost the bears this year and he threw three interceptions and three straight passes and i still don't know how that happened okay so that one I still I'm like wait how did that happen and I'm watching him and he's like the best quarterback ever and the coolest guy ever.
Spinzo and I actually like the fact that he threw three straight interceptions. Three straight passes.
If he had thrown two straight interceptions then I'd be like that sucks. He sucks.
But since he threw three it tells me he's got a really short memory. Like maybe the shortest memory where even after throwing two consecutive interceptions, he's like, fuck it.
Jamar's down there somewhere. I'm going to try it again.
Do you know what's crazy? That when we went down to Baton Rouge for LSU-Bama when LSU didn't score and like we watched Joe Burrow and that was his first at LSU. And he was a good college quarterback.
But you never in a million years watched that, and you're like, that guy's going to win a national title. That guy's going to win a playoff game for the city of Cincinnati for the first time in 31 years.
And it's all going to happen in the next three years. And he is legitimately like an upper echelon elite quarterback that I just love watching play.
You know what's crazy is that game reminded me a lot of the Chiefs-Steelers game tonight in terms of how LSU's offense looked. You know who the offense coordinator was? Matt Canada.
It was Matt Canada. Maybe this is a Canadian problem that we're dealing with here.
But he didn't have Joe Brady on the Steelers tonight. Correct.
Maybe he should have brought him. He should have brought him with him.
Yeah. So bottom line is Joe Burrow is, I think it's safe to say he's elite.
The only thing I was going to nitpick about him is he seems to be addicted to cigars, smoking cigars. He loves them.
And they asked him about smoking cigars again. And he was like, yeah, I love smoking cigars.
It's really cool. He's right.
It is cool. Actually, maybe it's actually a good thing.
No, that's a football guy move. Because maybe he gets addicted to smoking cigars.
The only way that he can smoke more cigars is to continue winning games. Yeah, win, win, win.
It's actually, goddammit, Joe Burrow's perfect. Yeah, he is.
The glasses was a cocky move. It played.
He will do a cocky move that we will have to call out if he just keeps going down the line of, I'm going to wear more and more ridiculous stuff. I think these played.
I looked at him, I was like, he's fucking cool. He looked like Al Pacino playing a younger version of Al Pacino.
Yeah, but he's going to do the Big Ben when Big Ben wore a fedora. And you're going to be like, Joe, no, don't do that.
That was an all-time hilarious look when Big Ben wore the three-piece suit. Dick Tracy, yeah.
Dick Tracy, he had the fedora pulled down over his eyes because that was right when quarterbacks were starting to dress cool yeah and it was like a very awesome thing that you could do as as a starting quarterback to be like the fashion guy and big ben was like yeah you know i'm i i consider myself a bit of a fashionista myself i've got this hat that looks like i'm a lawyer trying to track down someone who kidnapped dalmatians yeah it was it was um yeah it was an all-time look but with Joe, I think he's kind of like Fitzy. Like Fitzpatrick in the way that when Fitzpatrick wears the chains, he puts on Deshaun Jackson's...
Yes, no, it plays right now. It looks good when he does it.
I just know if you get addicted to fashion, we've seen it when Cam Newton would get in front of everyone a couple times, you'd be like, wait, what are you wearing? Is this real? But you can do it after a win.

I don't think that's the way that Joe's going.

I think Joe finds one piece of flair per week,

and he's like, you guys dare me to wear this in my post game?

They're like, yeah, you should.

He's like, cool.

I thought the glasses looked cool.

But then he pulls it off.

It looked like a superhero when they lift their glasses off,

lasers shoot out of his eyes.

We should talk about the Raiders.

So the Raiders, like we said on Friday, I kept on saying alligator blood. Like that was the Raiders.
They, like the game felt like it was out of, like they were going to lose the game by a million when that fumble happened. They kept on holding the Bengals to three.
They kept on making big plays. And then you get to two minutes left.
It's like, wait, the Ra chance to tie this game how the fuck is this happening they're on the 10 yard line how are they doing this that was that was basically the entire back half of the raider season where every time you thought they were dead they would just like rise back up like the undertaker putting his hand through the fucking buried alive like nope we're still here we're the raiders i hated that spike that Derek Carr did. He should not have spiked that.
I was watching the game. It was a panic spike.
I was watching the game like, do not spike it. You got to have either a play called or something for that exact scenario where you know you're going to run in a panic moment.
And he went up and spiking that. He got rid of a down that he thought he wouldn't need.
So he ran out of clock before the game ran out of clock. Yeah.
Like his, the downs were more valuable in that circumstance. Fake spikes there would have been...
Fake spike would have been awesome. I feel like that's very un-Christian to deceive your opponent.
Yeah. Derek Carr probably wouldn't want to do that.
He wouldn't. I also thought the bonehead play of the game, the doy-doy play, excuse me, that the Raiders had was in the first half when Peyton Barber took that kickoff.
Yeah. And stepped out of bounds.
That's what I mean. They were dead.
The Raiders

were dead. And then they just kept

on coming back.

It was one of those games, if you're watching

it, you think the whole game

the Raiders have no chance, and then

you look up in the fourth quarter and you're like, wait,

okay, they're only down 10, and they got the ball.

Oh, they're going to kick a field goal. Wait,

how are the Raiders stopping a score away

from going to overtime? Yeah. And I love Max Crosby.
They call him the Condor, which I think is a pretty sick nickname. Mack, baby.
Because he's got that huge wingspan. Yeah, he's from Michigan.
But I read something about Max Crosby that his wingspan is actually not that wide compared to other players that play defensive end. But maybe, I think he's just got like maybe a short torso and long arms.
He's got two X's in his name, which is cool. Yeah.
Dos Equis. When they do the measurements of the wingspan, they just go fingertip to fingertip.
Yeah. So if somebody has like a narrow chest or narrow shoulder diameter, then they can still have the long arms and have a big wingspan.
Right. Proportionally.
I think that's what we're looking at with him. You thought way too much about this.
Oh, I did because my eyes were lying to me. I was like, this dude has what must be an incredible wingspan.
He's named after a bird. Really? He's just all limbs.
Yeah, all limbs, exactly. He's got a narrow torso.
Yeah, Rich Pasikia should get the Raiders head coaching job. They should give him a two-year contract, three-year contract.
I don't know what more you could do. Like, with a team that went through all of that and had flaws, and Derek Carr, I mean, he didn't play great, but he wasn't, I mean, he had a great, like, I still can't believe the Raiders were in the playoffs.
Like, they were not a playoff team with everything that happened to them, and starting December, they were notoff team and they found a way I don't know you just I think you run that back. You try to fill some holes you run that back.
Yeah He's got the pulse of the team No one no one's gonna be able to step in and be respected by the players immediately the way that he is because they love him I saw I saw a clip before the game of him going up to I forget who was I think Jose Jones yeah, and he like pulled him goes, hey, coach, you're doing a great job. Yes.
Whispered it into his ear. It was like, fuck yeah, thank you.
I appreciate that, man. I think they might try to make a run at Harbaugh.
That's what it looks like to me. Yeah, but that would be so stupid to me.
I don't think, if John Gruden keeps his job, I don't think they make the playoffs. I really don't.
Because he fades every year and they would have made some bonehead games and everything. The Raiders deserve a ton of credit for being in the playoffs this year.
They deserve a ton of credit for being the alligator blood team that just wouldn't die up until the last fucking second. I would be excited if I were a Raiders fan, I'd be excited if they brought him back.
Yeah. I would too because the players would be excited for it.
And then the question will be Derek Carr will get like linger people throw his name out there because he does feel like the veteran quarterback that could fix a team that is on the cusp. Who's their offensive coordinator? What's that guy's name? Oh, Greg Olson.
Greg Olson. Yep.
That guy. The other Greg Olson with the slicked back hair is a fella.
Yeah. That guy, he looks like a loan shark that's a bit of a hothead.
He's been around forever. That gets the whole crew into trouble, you know? Yeah.
Yeah, he's been around forever. He like curb stomps somebody because they're a day late on their payment.
Yeah. Greg Olson.
He's, uh, I feel, yeah, I feel like he followed John Gruden around for a long time. Maybe that, maybe that's wrong.
He's, John Gruden's like henchman. He takes care of the dirty the dirty work.
And the fact that his name is Greg Olson is crazy. Yeah.
When was Gruden on the Bucs? In like the... Not 2008, right? No.
Was that post Gruden? That was probably... He was on the Bucs 08 to 11.
Yeah. And then with the Raiders since 2018.
Okay, so he's been with the Raiders for a while. That's what I'm thinking.
I don't remember when Gruden finished with the Bucs. Might have been right around there.
Let's see, he finished with the Bucs 2008. Oh, so there it is.
Yeah. So he, yeah, he's a Gruden guy.
Do you think Gruden, I was thinking about this, do you think Gruden will ever coach again? Do you think he was rooting for the Raiders? Yeah, probably. I think he was.
I think he still likes these guys. I think Gruden will coach again.
I think he'll go through like a phase. He's going to like write a big, what if John Gruden gets like really woke and then comes back? That'd be very funny.
And just like apologize. He's like, I've changed all my ways.
He Michael Scott kisses Carl Nassib on the lips in front of the whole team. Yep.
like look guys yeah do it do it do it to roger goodell yeah he's like i i got no i got no bad bones in my body um yeah i was thinking about that that's kind of a maybe a college maybe a college would be like fuck it we'll give it a shot i think he's gonna have to go back to a high school that he's donated so much money to that they basically have the field named after him. And then Peter King will write a story about him being like, John Gruden's doing great things with these kids.
Yeah, he'll rehabilitate his image and then probably get a Mac job maybe. Yeah.
Come back up that way, finish out his career as a defensive coordinator, probably quarterback coach, I would say. I don't think he's going to be a head coach again in the NFL.
I think there's some crazy Raider fans that probably blame the whistle, but I think most Raider fans know that that was, like, you can't walk away being like the refs ruined that game. It was a ref show.
Jerome Boger literally got banned from the rest of the playoffs. They're like, you're done.
That usually happens to Jerome Boger, where once every 10 years, they're like, okay, Jerome, we'll give you one last shot at it. Oh, yeah.
I remember why we don't hire this guy to do anything. Yeah.
There must be no refs out there if Jerome Boger still has a job. Yeah.
I mean, we have Hocule's son. That's it.
I mean, it is a terrible job to have. Who would want to be a ref? Not me.
Not me. It is impossible.
It's a terrible job to have. You know how fast those guys are? It sucks sucks you can't see shit the the best case scenario if you are a ref is that at one point right before you retire like al michaels has a nice 45 second story about you and the worst case is all all the fans in the nfl find where you live and like send you death threats every single day yeah every single day.
So that's kind of it. You know what the ceiling is for just the refereeing profession in general is Charles Barkley gives Dick Bavetta a kiss when they're doing that sprint back and forth up and down the court thing.
That's as high as it gets. It's a thankless job for sure.
It's crazy how they don't have to face the media and go on the podium afterwards. They have the poor reporter.
But everyone should be able to ask. They're gaslighting us.
It's a thankless job for sure. It's crazy how they don't have to face the media and go on the podium afterwards.
Well, they released the poor reporter. But everyone should be able to ask.
They're gaslighting us. It's crazy.
Again, the whistle did not affect the play, but it's fucking crazy they're saying it happened after the catch. It kind of is a nice thing for Raiders fans to have, though, because you have something concrete that you can point at and be like, look, NFL rigged.
The league is fucking us. They're lying to us about this.
And then you get to do the math where if that touchdown hadn't counted, if they had blown the whistle, then we would have won the game. You can at least say that to yourself.
That's kind of a nice gift that you got out of this game. You can convince yourself that.
All right, before we get to the next game, cross-country mortgage. Oh, and the Bengals obviously are playing against the Titans next week on Saturday, correct? Saturday.
Yeah, first game. They keep disrespecting the Bengals, throwing them on Saturday afternoons.
I would say that's disrespectful to the Titans. Yeah, both of them.
Nobody believes in the Titans. Yes.
All right. Cross-country mortgage football.
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OK, Saturday night. Bill's 47, Patriot's 17.
What were you going to say, Billy? I got some insane stats. I've got insane stats, too.
I think we've got the same stats. So we'll start with, which one do you want to pick from? One, two, or three? Two.
Two. Josh Allen had more touchdowns than incompletions.
He was 21 for 25. Four, by the way.
Yeah. That was our callback.
Yes, four, four, four, four games. He was 21 for 25 for 308 yards, five touchdowns.
What do you want next? Three. From 2001 to 2019, the Bills beat the Patriots three total times.
Since Tom Brady has left, the Bills have beaten them four times. So they've already surpassed the last 20 years.
And then one, they had more touchdown drives than third down attempts on Saturday night. That one's crazy.
Yeah? We got crazier ones. Oh.
So, for the first time in NFL history, this was the one time there was a game with no kicks, punts, or turnovers by one team. Damn.
That's crazy. That is crazy.
The drives were... That's wild.
Nine for... Here were their opening seven drives, which is a funny thing to say, opening seven, because it was the whole game.
Nine for 70. Nine plays, 70 yards touchdown.
Ten plays, 80 yards touchdown. Ten plays, 81 yards touchdown.
Four plays, 89 yards touchdown. So that was a little, did that one quicker.
Six plays, 58 yards touchdown. Nine plays, 77 yards touchdown.
Three plays, 39 yards touchdowns. The Bills have not punted in two straight games against the Patriots.
And, yeah, the only reason that they didn't score on their final drive, they just kneeled it out. Yeah, Mitch Risky.
So I think that drive shouldn't even count. So, Hank? Yes.
What do those stats do to you? I sat here on the show one week ago on these very airwaves and said I wanted the smoke. I wanted the bills.
I watched The Mandalorian during my COVID break. How are you feeling, by the way? I feel good.
I feel better. I only had symptoms for a couple days and I was just kind of chilling, playing video games.
But I did watch Mandalorian. It's a similar thing.
You know, Gladiator versus Gladiator. Youator you don't want to lose till let's say you lose to the bangles and then you can always say like oh well you know who knows who the east is we got the bills head on they shit down our throats there's no takeaway from that game other than like they know the east is the bills for what 10 15 years there's no reason why they shouldn't be beating the Patriots for the next 10-15 years.
The blueprint

from for, what, 10, 15 years. There's no reason why they shouldn't be beating the Patriots for the next 10, 15 years.
The blueprint from 2001 was like, young quarterback, not great, great defense they're going to carry to the playoffs. Those stats explained it all.
That clearly didn't happen. I don't even blame Mac Jones.
Even if Mac Jones played the best game of his life, they still probably weren't going to win that game. That's a fair thing to say.
Absolutely. Because seven drives, seven touchdowns, no sacks, no fumbles.
Mac Jones wasn't on the field for those. Right.
But it's still fun to ask, like, should they move on from Mac Jones after this loss? No, the Patriots defense looked old. Like, it looked old.
They had guys that looked like they were running in sand. I have a very stupid take from this game about Bill Belichick and the face mask that he was wearing.
Obviously, it was like five degrees there, and wind chill was like negative five, which as far as I'm concerned, if you're out in that for three hours, you should probably die. That's like dying weather to be out in that type of environment.
But Belichick's mask covered up so much of his face that his players couldn't even see his emotion on the side. All you could see is just his eyes.
That's probably a good thing. You think that's a good thing overall? Yes.
I would like, I don't know, I'd like to be able to see some of my coach's emotion occasionally. But he's not an emotional guy anyway.
It's not like he's boisterous to begin with. Yeah.
I mean, did Steve Belichick, was his face out? I think it was. He should have just had his mouth cut out so you could see him licking his lips.
Yeah, I don't think Bill Belichick's facial expressions had any bearing on the game. Probably not.
That's why I prefaced it by saying it's a stupid thing. Yeah.
But it just struck me as kind of odd that he went full Darth Vader mode for it. He probably thought this was going to be a long-ass game.
Because Josh Allen, right now, as we currently sit here, owns the Patriots. What he's done, besides the game that we went to that was crazy elements, they just run all over the Patriots.
Quick note about that game, because I've got a lot of people reaching out, saying some not-so-very-nice things. Yeah, reaching out.
Check it in to see how you out you know sending me a lot of people pinging you uh but among those you know tweets and dms were like enjoy week 13 super bowl you fucking bitch and i was thinking about it i will always enjoy that week 13 super bowl that was a great that was a great night we went to buffalo we had wing nuts it was a fun game. And I was talking to Dave about it afterwards, and it's like,

we're probably going to have to just take the next 20 years,

and we're probably not going to win for the next 20 years.

And I'm okay with that, too.

I'm okay with being like –

You're just resigning the fact that –

you're not even doing this as a reverse jinx.

You're saying we're going to stink as long as I'm alive.

But think about it.

But the thing is, if we do stink as long as I'm alive, the three Super Bowls, and obviously there was three before that when I was like 10 years old, but the last three Super Bowls have legitimately been three of the best nights of my entire life. All three of them individually, if I was going down a list of the ten best nights of my entire life, those three are high on that list.
So we can suck forever, but people are like, oh, the past suck now, enjoy those. Enjoy those Super Bowls.
It's like, yeah, I will. I will enjoy those Super Bowls.
I will look back fondly. Like, I don't – whatever.
It sucks. But, like, winning three Super Bowls in nine years is insane.
It is crazy because, you know, the Patriots got demolished. But, like, what can you – like, people can kind of dunk on you.
And they did. But you did just come off probably the greatest, like, dynasty that football, modern football will ever see just because it's going to be so hard to ever duplicate that.
So it's kind of like, I don't really know. It's like, like you just said, you actually put it perfectly.
Like, you went to three Super Bowls for your team. Bengals fans, you think Bengals fans won a playoff game and it was the greatest thing ever.
I would love to win a playoff game right now. There's definitely elements where the party feels like it might be over for the Patriots, but you still had one of the greatest parties of all time.
And the Bills have to fucking win the Super Bowl or else I'm coming. That's true.
That is true. You have that.
I'm telling you, I think that the Bills acted like it was over after yesterday. They were just high-stepping on you personally.
Yeah, a wild card game. No, I agree though.
The thing that makes me nervous about that game is it felt like 20 years of pent-up anger coming out in one night where the Bills played the perfect football game, and they beat the bully, and it was fucking rocking there. It was incredible scenes.
Not even sold out. It's hard to...
What? They're selling tickets for like $3 before the game. Yeah, but that's because the Canadians that usually go to the game, they couldn't cross the border.
Right, sure.

Are you a Canada truther?

No, I mean, it's the Buffalo Bills, not the Buffalo Canada Bills.

We don't need multiple areas to sell out our games. Definitely not.

Not the New England Patriots.

Nope.

It does feel, though, like there could be,

I know it's crazy to say, a letdown in the playoffs,

but that's such an incredible win for the Bills. And how they did it, and who they did it against, and everything they threw at them.
It was the perfect game. It's hard to have a perfect game twice in a row.
I know what you're saying, because you can look at this two ways. You can look at it as have the Bills played their best game.
Right. Are we going to be like, these Bills could win the Super Bowl, and then they won't have anything left? Or you can look at this as like, this was an official monkey off the bat game.
Well, it's not the same because college football is very different in the fact that there's two teams, three teams every year that are just so much better than everyone else. But I did see Seton from the Dan Patrick show made a decent point that I didn't think about.
But it felt a little similar to Michigan beating Ohio State. And it's like Michigan beat Ohio State.
That was an incredible day. They finally beat the bully.
They kicked the shit out of them. It's hard to get back up.
They beat Iowa, which is a flawed team. But it's hard to get back up in that next spot after you spend the whole week being like, that was incredible.
I still think that the Bills will win the Super Bowl if they make it to the Super Bowl. They're an incredible team.
I think that if they get to that game, they can beat any team in the NFC in that stadium. The Bills are essentially designed to win a Super Bowl in Los Angeles.
They also, like, the Josh Allen experience is so much fun to watch. It's just, because you could tell, they were like, it's the playoffs, and we talked about this on Friday, and I think it wasn't a novel concept, like everyone kind of knew it.
It's the playoffs. You're going to run him without any fear, because, like, you've got to win the game.
You're not worried about, oh, 18-week season. His entire arsenal of everything that he has is so much fun to watch.
Just running the deep bombs, the short passes he rifles into places. He's a very unique – there are very few quarterbacks.
It's probably Patrick Mahomes, Aaron Rodgers, and Josh Allen, maybe throwing Russ, where you know you're watching something totally different, and it's so much fun to watch. Obviously, no offense to Tom Brady, he's the best of all time, but he's like surgical, and it's almost boring how good he is.
Josh Allen, you just don't know what's going to happen next.

Down to that play where he was, it looked like a throwaway to Dawson Knox

that was just like, holy fuck, how did he do that?

That was a mirror image of the catch, the Chris Berman catch in San Francisco.

It was almost identical of a play, almost identical of a location where it was caught.

I gave some thought and I'm getting off the Josh Allen nickname hunt because that'll work itself out in time he's just josh but there's a uh there's there's a spectrum there's a meter like how i had the flacco meter for his eliteness with josh allen it's all based around profanity it's like on here on e it's god damn it josh allen right here it's holy shit josh allen here it's josh fucking allen right and then over here it's holy shit Josh Allen here it's Josh fucking Allen and then over here it's holy shit Josh fucking Allen and he was holy shit Josh fucking Allen last night you know what I'm saying there are certain athletes that it's it's not just greatness it's also you're watching something that is like just something about it is so different than everything else like watching Steph or watching Gian Giannis. You're not only watching greatness, but he's doing shit.
You're like, what the fuck is going on? He feels like a drug sometimes watching him. He makes me, you know how we were talking about Dan Campbell makes you want to punch a stranger in the face, as Teddy Bridgewater said? Josh Allen kind of has that effect where you watch him and you just want to get up and you want to just chest bump your body.
Yeah, you want to get physical. Yeah, I want Billy to hit me in my stomach.
I can't wait till Ravens fans are like, but Lamar, they're going to say that after I went on that whole speech about those quarterbacks. But Josh Allen, the combo of running and throwing is so crazy.
And when you know he's going to cock back and throw a deep one, it's fucking awesome. And he had Stefan Diggs with that one.
He's like, this is going to be sick. That brief second, it's almost like, I mean, we don't surf, but it'd be like the brief second before you catch that wave.
How do you know I don't surf? That brief second when a quarterback, a really good quarterback, steps back and you know that a big-ass play is coming, it's going to be sick. It's the best feeling in the world.
I think my favorite part of a deep bomb is the instant that he lets go of it. When the elbow reaches full extension, the ball comes right out, and you know it's going to go 70 yards.
I can't wait for next week when it's Patrick Mahomes, Josh Allen, just peppering the field with these deep bombs. It's going to be incredible.
And the Bills defense was awesome. The Bills defense deserves a lot of credit.
Micah Hyde, that pick was out of this world good. Yeah, or do you think the game's different if they call that holding play? I mean, that holding call and that touchdown at 7-7, who knows? It was egregious.
Who's to say? It was an egregious hold that they put on the guy. Josh Allen screened the ref.
That's what it was. Oh, really? Yeah, the angle.
Josh Allen was perfectly screening the guy that was holding. Intangibles.
Did they say anything about it in the post-game pool? Did they ask the refs about that? It wasn't really one of those games where you're like, I need to see this pool to justify this game being bullshit. Well, the whole game changed on that call.
He did the ole, and the guy got past him and then reached around, grabbed both shoulder pads, and just dragged. It was the most blatant call that, like, usually when you're watching a game, unless you've singled out one specific pass rusher that you're locked in on, you don't really see the offensive line holding calls until the replay.
On that, everybody was like, that's a fucking hold. That's a plain old.
And then you just kept waiting for the flag to be thrown and never was. Hank, where's your mental state going forward? Can I say something, a thought that popped in my head that I think was dismissed almost immediately in the post-game conversations? But Bill Belichick will retire at some point.
Yes. And it does feel like it will be sooner than later, but who knows, he might just coach forever.
Has that thought popped in your head? Not really. I would say my current state of Patriots fandom is kind of accepting that this new era is not going to be like the past 20 years, maybe the cockinessiness and uh you know i can't blindly be like oh we're the fucking patriots we got belichick and mac jones where it used to be brady we got this and because you know the past 20 years that worked yeah you could just blindly be like we got this shit and you guys be like no well the blah blah blah and then the patriots would beat that team i don't know that that's the case anymore that is what we said yeah you could fill in the blanks with like 10 people in the past 10 years and you're going to be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, the Steelers, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Jaguars, those days are over. The Bills, you know, they have the East for now and we'll just see.
Now we're back to being the underdogs. The reason why I thought of that, and it's obviously the difference between Bill Belichick and, like, regular human beings.
Because Bill Belichick is addicted to being the best coach of all time. And, like, he clearly loves football on a different level that no one could ever understand.
But I was thinking it because if I were in his shoes and I watched my team get smoked like that in five-degree weather and I was, whatever, 70 years old, 65 years old, I'd be like, enough of that shit. I'm moving to Florida and I'm fishing all winter.
Like this sucks. You've accomplished enough in your career where I don't think you have to go stand and literally freeze your face off.
That's why we risk your life. We're quick guys.
Yeah. We're definitely like- Quit while you're ahead.
Yeah. This has all been fun.
It's time to just go and chill out and live in Arizona or something. Yeah.
Imagine doing this podcast if we had to do it outdoors in Canada. Fuck that.
And we had been doing it for 25 years at number one. Yeah.
And we were 60 years old. No, thank you.
I do like that Hank has learned humility, really. Hank's like, I guess, you know, I'm going to have to learn how to be an underdog.
That's going to underdog Hank because the level if you thought that you were able to channel all this seething rage towards the people that you perceive have agendas against you when you're really good but imagine how many more enemies you'll be able to develop and nurture as a true underdog literally no's not going to be. Literally no one believes in him.
He's not going to be a true underdog. Yeah, we're the underdog.
Because he's still got the six rings. Like, if you get in a conversation with him, you're like, oh, it's going to be like the Bears and the Washington football team.
He's like, yeah, but we just won six Super Bowls. Like, fuck.
Hank's got the three rings that you really remember, right? Well, I remember the other ones. He won the other three.
Yeah, I was physically there for the last three, and I was drinking, partying, doing the whole celebration thing. I was, I think, what, 9, 11, and 12 for the first three? You went to jail for Brady.
You deserve a ring. I would agree.
What do you think about the idea that—because I know a lot of Patriots fans absolutely hate the uniforms that they wear right now. The only reason that they're good uniforms is because he won so much in them.
Do you think that now is the time to rebrand the Patriots, to get all new uniforms in, and just let those old ones belong to the dynasty? Yeah, well, you know, that kind of, speaking of uniforms, I've had some thoughts about the vest. Oh, that stays in the dynasty.
I think you've got to frame it, though. That's the plan.
So obviously, I wasn't going to bring this up,

except I just brought it up out of nowhere.

But if we ever get in a situation, obviously these things come up.

Tom Brady, if I ever get in a situation where I can be with him

and appropriately ask him to sign the vest, I would do that.

I would frame it, and that would be it.

It stays with the dynasty.

The one saving grace you have, though, is that if this is a big transition, I mean, Bill Belichick's the one guy that you'd want to be at the helm. That's when you would panic, I think, if you were a Patriots fan.
If Bill Belichick retires, that's the panic day. Up until that happens, you're like, well, he's got this.
Beg that he has a job.

And he probably does have it.

That's the thing.

He probably does have it. He probably has a plan in place.

Yeah.

And it's probably a super secret plan that he's told Ernie Adams about.

Ernie Adams?

They've got a scroll that's hidden behind a bookshelf where if you move a statue's head,

it opens up.

And here's the line of succession for Patriots coaches.

But he definitely is a guy that would have his successor anointed and already picked out. You just got to hope that he sticks around to help with the transition and becomes like a behind.
He almost would become the Ernie Adams of the next guy. Yeah.
Because he's, like you said, he is football. Bill Belichick, football is not just his life.
He is, his body is football. I just think that if that were me, that loss would have been like, yep, that was fun, but I'm out.
Did they ask him about his New Year's resolution? No, but he did say that he's going to be back. That was put to bed pretty quickly.
Grass of Buffalo, Super Bowl champions. Great season.
It is true, Hank. You get to play the role of if you don't win the Super Bowl, it means nothing.
Is that incorrect? No. I think it's not.
That's not fully correct. It's not incorrect, but it's not.
It's somewhere between the truth and a despicable lie. I think it's pretty correct because of...
I'll tell you one thing. The Patriots fans would not be celebrating seasons that we didn't win the Super Bowl.
Well, you also won six of them.

Just saying.

I think the Bills,

given where they were just even

a few weeks ago... If they lose in the divisional round and they're

acting like that was a good season, like that, you know,

just couldn't be me. No, I think that part's correct.

I honestly do. If they lose this weekend,

it's a disappointment. That part is correct.

If they make it to the Super Bowl,

then... Soupy's a soupy.

Speaking of soupy, they were

drinking chicken broth on the sidelines Thank you. Yes.
It's a disappointment. That part is correct.
If they make it to the Super Bowl, then...

Soupy's a soupy.

Soupy's a soupy.

Getting their skis is the hard part.

They're drinking chicken broth on the sidelines, too.

That looked delicious.

I don't know why more teams don't do that.

Oh, also, Ryan Fitzpatrick was there.

He took his shirt off.

What a fucking legend.

God damn it.

He did tell us when we had him on that Buffalo was his favorite city that he played in.

He's played in a lot of cities.

As a win for the Washington football team in the playoffs.

There you go.

Our quarterback was there.

Yeah. We fucking beat the Patriots.
That was sick. Billy? Dildo.
Yeah. Good call.
Dildo. Good job, Billy.
That was awesome. Good call, Billy.
It was great, too. He looked at it and was like, that's a fucking dildo.
Look, it was a dildo game. Yeah.
The dildo was there, and they had the greatest offensive performance of a team probably ever. You foretold this prophecy.
I don't know how it happened. Also, on Friday, you had a dildo premonition.
No, I just thought this would be the game they'd bring the dildo out for. So I saw a tweet from Ross Tucker saying that there were multiple dildos, or was there just one magic dildo that was thrown? We saw one big one, yeah.
I don't know how many dildos were in the stadium, but... Probably a few.
But wouldn't that be really sad if you brought a dildo, and then you didn't throw it, especially in that game, and then you had to take the dildo home with you? Oh, I think the saddest would be bringing the dildo and not having a strong enough arm to reach the field. Yeah, you hit somebody in the throw row.
That's the saddest of all. If you hit someone and then you get kicked out for throwing a dildo, but didn't even get on national television.
If you don't throw the dildo, do you throw it out in a trash can on your way out? I think so. Or do you take it home with you? No, just leave it.
Leave it at the seat. Yeah.
Leave it at the seat. You suction it to the seat itself? Yeah, just see you later.
That's their last game there this season. Maybe.
Right? No. I mean if the Bengals win.
Oh yeah, I forgot about the Bengals. You're already disrespected the Bengals.
Disrespecting them, yeah. If the Bengals win and the Bills win, the Bills will have an AFC championship game in Buffalo.
That would be so fun. Which would be very, very fun.
I'd predict another dildo if that happens. If that happens.
So you've got to predict the game first. You're going to say that's going to happen.
It's going to happen, and if it does, the dildos will come out. We also put to bed, finally, wind is the only weather that matters.
Because it was just as cold, if not colder, than when we were there. But there was no wind, and you saw what happened.
So wind matters, which I think everyone knew, but we had that brief stint for a couple months where we were just climate denioless Denialists? Deniers. Yeah, we got Greta Thunberg.
We didn't deny climate change. We denied climate in general, that weather didn't exist.
We denied climate effects. No, just weather doesn't exist.
Yeah, so I actually think that the, I don't think rain matters. I want that on the record.
I think wind occasionally matters. I think snow matters, but in a different way, where snow gives certain football players incredible abilities, like Shady McCoy.
Tons of rain matters. Yeah, tons of rain.
Torrential downpour matters. Yeah, I mean, if you're playing the game in a swimming pool, it's an issue.
Like that Colts 49ers game this year. But I think that, like, snow football, definitely, there are guys that know how to run in the snow better than other guys.
Yes. Absolutely.
Alright, let's go to the next game. Sunday.
Bucs Eagles. The Bucs killed the Eagles.
This was a game that was walking into it. I was like, this is the Super Bowl champs playing against a team that has not beaten anyone good.
And then it happened. And the B kind of similar to the chiefs they reminded everyone oh yeah we're a really good football team the regular season the ups and downs the regular season don't really matter it's all about just january and their defense looked awesome fully healthy first time they have like pretty much everyone back since week one and and they demolished the Eagles.
The score looks a little bit closer. This game was a complete snooze fest in terms of competition.
I think the stat was the Bucs in nine drives through three quarters, the Bucs forced four three-and-outs, and only one of those nine drives the Eagles got more than one first down. So they just had nothing.
The offense just looked incompetent for most of the game. And going into that, you know, like Jalen Hurts' stock actually took a big bump in this game because the last memory that you have of him was, well, one of the last memories was him walking out of FedEx Field and the stadium falling on him.
And his reaction to that actually made me like him a lot more. Seeing how he was like played it cool took some pictures made sure everybody was okay that told me like maybe franchise quarterback but you thought that you the way that you saw him progress through the season you were like I think this might be maybe the guy going into next year we've got three first round draft picks we can build around him and then this game happens and it really highlighted everything that people said was wrong with Jalen Hurts.
And you're like, maybe they're right. Because at some points in this game, I was thinking they might put Gardner Minshew in.
Yeah, absolutely. It was bad.
The Eagles got demolished. The Bucs defense was just, they had every answer to what the Eagles were trying to do.
Jalen Hurts did do an all-time vet move, though. He got in the walking boot.
Oh, he did? So he got in the walking boot after the game, and he said he'd been dealing with something all season. A true veteran.
Like, go get surgery even if you don't need it, because that's a smart move. Yeah, I didn't realize that.
Yeah, he got in the walking boot. So no sooner than the game had ended, than his last game, than he puts the boot on, which he had not worn this year? Yes, correct.
That's a smart... Okay, now I'm back again.
He's smart. That was so smart.
Between his reaction to getting hit by a stadium and then how he deals with the loss in the playoffs, that is a smart, smart heads-up quarterback. Tremendous situational awareness.
Yeah, I mean the Bucs defense is scary good. Like this is...
They won the Super Bowl last year because of their defense and it feels like their defense is going to be back to where it was last year and it's going to be tough for any team to battle with that for four quarters, especially Todd Bowles is an awesome defensive coordinator. I just don't, this was, there's very rare times where you like go into a game and you kind of feel like a genius but this was one of those times for me because I was like what the Eagles haven't they had a nice story it's crazy they made the playoffs Nick Sirianni deserves credit for that but they're just not on the same level as the Bucs yeah sometimes this might just be a lesson that we need to take for all two seven games until we do see a seven seed like compete yeah sometimes when you watch a game you forget like you watch it as somebody who just watches games on TV.
That's where all our analysis comes from on this podcast is what we see when we're watching games on TV. And you forget that there are some people out there that are capable of analyzing the game as being one of the guys that's actually on the field that knows what they're talking about.
Yeah. And Booger made a really good point saying that going up against Vito Vea, Jason Kelsey just doesn't have the ass to go against him.
Yeah. Where their offensive line is very good on the Eagles in certain situations, but when you play against dudes that are just huge and big, that's a line that can get bullied around, and there was absolutely nothing happening with the running game and it was just as simple as again, you don't apologize for making the playoffs, but the Eagles didn't they got to the playoffs because they beat the Washington football team and the Giants and like they beat a bunch of teams that weren't good you know what I mean? Cowboys.
Yeah, I know but the Cowboys were at least least competitive in their game. The Eagles were not in this game.
I wish the Saints had been playing the Bucs. That would have been utter chaos.
No one would have known which way to go with this game because according to the eyeball test, you'd be like, well, the Bucs are clearly the best team in this game. But then you're like, the Saints just have their number for some reason.
It's actually the tired wired is like tired people complaining about how there shouldn't be seven seeds and wired. It's just, well, we just should have had the Chargers and the Saints.
Exactly. That's what I'm saying.
That extra week fucked everything up. If we had just gotten either the Colts or the Chargers into the playoffs instead of the Steelers, you got the wrong two 7-seed teams.
You got the wrong two 7-seed teams

because there were better teams

for those matchups out there.

And I don't think that, like,

the Eagles season has to be viewed as a positive.

Now, Nick Sirianni playing Rocky Clips

the night before,

that's got to be the dumbest thing ever.

That's a fucking, that's a college coach move.

Like, you can't, you can't play Rocky.

That's Sirianni trying so hard to be from Philadelphia. That is, I saw that.
I was like, what is he doing? You can't tell me that guys in that locker room weren't just like, what are we doing right now? We have an NFL playoff game, and we're watching Rocky to get us pumped up? This might be a controversial take, but Rocky 1 is pretty boring. Except for the fights.
It's a boring movie. I assume he played Rocky 4.
I assume that's the clips that he used. But who knows? Maybe.
You think Brady was Drago? Maybe, yeah. Probably.
Yeah, the champ. Yeah, but it's classic Sirianni.
It's a goal for an away game. Sirianni is the friend that you know that went overseas in college and did one semester abroad in England.
And now he comes back and he loves football, but he's talking about soccer. He says cheers to everyone.
His emails are signed, cheers. Yeah, cheers.
Rick. Yeah, that's just a clown move.
I mean, it's a college coach move. I remember Fred Hoiberg did that with the Bulls.
He was playing he played the clips of Animal House to lighten up the mood. You know, just go back to college, dude.
They're grown men. Why would you do that? You know, the only person that was more upset than we were that we were watching this game, or actually the fan base of Philadelphia Eagles, they did not like watching this game.
They were just screaming the entire time about Jalen Rager, which now I get it. Now I actually do think that using the words Justin Jefferson in the city of Philadelphia, that's a slur.
You should not be allowed to say that. It's crazy, too, because you can point to any draft, and obviously I know very well with the Patrick Mahomes

and Sean Watson stuff,

but the fact that it was same position, back-to-back picks,

and Justin Jefferson was trending,

and then I saw the video.

They replayed the video of the Vikings' war room

when Jalen Rager got picked, and they were shocked.

And they were like, oh, that's awesome.

Justin Jefferson's our pick. It was the fastest pick ever made.
They laughed. Mike Zimmer never laughs about anything unless Kirk Cousins gets a devastating injury.
That's the only reason. He was cackling when they didn't take him.
So, yeah, that's the J word now. You should not be able to say Justin Jefferson.
So the Eagles, though, all things considered, I think it's a win of a season in terms of fact they weren't expected to be good. They made the playoffs.
I think Nick Sirianni's a good coach because he was able to figure out how to get the most out of his team, besides the Rocky stuff. And they have three picks.
And I know that we were sitting with some Eagles fans, Smitty and Ronan Fran. They're like, but it's Howie who's going to make the picks.
Do we trust him? I mean, three picks is a lot of picks. And there's guys like Deshaun Watson, Derek Carr, who knows if he'll be – Russell Wilson.
Like, there are quarterbacks out there that can be had. Jameis Winston.
Jameis Winston. But, like, for picks.
I'm saying, like, they have an ability. If they don't think Jalen Hurts is the guy, and they don't think there's a guy in this draft, you can go get a franchise quarterback with your three picks.
Baker Mayfield. Baker Mayfield.
Yeah, the nice thing is, if you're an Eagles fan, the three picks, even if Howie whiffs on two of them, you're probably not going to whiff on all three, right? That's basically impossible to do. Eagles fans are, like, tortured right now listening to this.
It's got to be three. You hit on one of them.
That's all you have to do. Just get one.
I would draft three quarterbacks. Why not? Yeah.
Why not use three picks on quarterbacks? Throw up the whole room. Maybe not this draft.
Two quarterbacks, one wide receiver. But if you get two quarterbacks, one wide receiver, and you've got Jalen Hurts, that's enough talent at positions that matter where you're going to hit on something.
Something good is going to occur. Just trade all three for Russell Wilson.
Well, is that on his list of places his wife will allow him to play? Yeah, but like that's I don't know. You have three first round picks.
That would be an incredible move because you're not mortgaging the future. You're mortgaging right now for an incredible franchise quarterback.
It's not even really a mortgage. You're paying cash.
Right, exactly. Boom, let's go.
Transaction over. Yeah, I'm curious to hear Jake's take on this, but Troy Aikman, he enjoyed watching this game less than the Eagles fans even did.
He hated it so much he got high. Like his eyes were especially, it looked like Big Cat on his birthday when his grandmother calls.
But I'm curious. RIP.
I'm curious to know your point of view as a professional. Troy Aikman taking shots at having to call this game.
Yeah, I think that was just taking shots at the NFL because I don't know who makes the decision. Is it the NFL or the networks? But it would be weird for Troy to complain about that because it's just more money for him.
Right. Maybe it's just a selfish one to do the Cowboys, which I get.
Yeah, no, that's where he was mad at. He wanted to do the 49ers and the Cowboys, which would have made a lot of sense.
But CBS had that. Which is fucked up.
Those two teams should never play on CBS. Right.
Would you ever slander your assignment on the air? No. But he's also...
He has so much experience where it's like... You can't even be mean to Troy Aikman.
You're not going to be mean. A younger slash not experienced broadcaster wouldn't make that comment.
I don't think. I thought it was a bit unprofessional of Troy.
Yeah. They're not going to pull him from the air for something.
I would have pulled him from the air. If it was a newer guy, maybe.
For the remainder of that Yep. You're out of there.
Hit the showers. I'd suspend him for the first quarter of the next game.
I imagine they always. That would be hilarious.
Yeah. Joe Buck.
Joe Buck solo. Solo.
In Green Bay. Yeah, for first series.
Yeah, check out Arizona Ball YouTube solo. Yeah.
Yes. Joe Buck, you got a tight five.
You can just handle yourself up there in the booth. Yeah.
All right, last thing on this game. I also want him to read an apology.
I want him to go full Brenneman on us. Last thing about this game.
Tom Brady, this game was his 35th playoff win. Who is second in how many wins? Of all time? If you know the answer, don't say it, Billy.
Why would you do that? It's got to be like Big Ben and it's like 12. 36 playoff wins.

That was his 36th?

Are you sure?

You're 100% sure.

Oh, Billy just,

he just checked you?

You're 100% sure.

Wow.

No doubt about it. No, he's doubting.

Well, you guys are figuring this out.

Tom Brady owns Philadelphia,

so congrats to him.

2-1 now in the playoffs.

All right.

Good note, good note.

Are you positive, Billy?

Because you stopped it right there and you made a point of it. Yeah.
I hope you're right. Good note.
Good note. Are you positive, Billy? Because you stopped it right there, and you made a point of it.

Yeah.

I hope you're right.

What time did the game start today?

It started at one.

You added the extra.

Jake, can you please find out how many?

Confirm the exact number of playoff wins that Tom Brady has. Who is second and how many wins? Okay, I'm going to guess Ben Roethlisberger at 3.27 p.m.
after the game was pretty much decided. This will be Tom Brady's 35th playoff win.
Okay, so Billy? You want to say sorry to me? Now Billy's got notes out. He's got a fact check.
Oh, man. Never mind.
Okay. Is it going to be an apology? No, he said never mind.
Well, I was going to say I knew who the second guy was. Yeah, I know.
Don't say it if you know it. It's not as fun.
Who's number two and how many? 35 playoff wins for Tom Brady. Joe Montana.
Yes, that part is correct and to be expected. The second part is not.
How many playoff wins does Joey M. have? Joey Cool.
17. I'm going to say 14.
16. Tom Brady has 35 and second place has 16.
That's fucking insane. That's insane.
How many teams made the playoffs when Joe Montana was playing? That's still insane. It's over two seasons worth.
I mean, Peyton Manning doesn't have to. I would have thought he'd have more.
I don't know. It's just crazy.
Well, he had to play Tom Brady all the time. Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, but I'm just saying 35 to 16 is such an insane gap of playoff wins. It's crazy to think that any of these great – like if Joe Montana had to play against Tom Brady in the playoffs, no one would know his name.
Yeah. No one would ever know who Joe Montana was.
Never. But that's just that.
I saw that stat and I was like, holy fuck. Well, first I said, what time did the game end? Let me make sure it's 35, not 36.
And then I was like, holy fuck. No, what time did the game start? For some reason, that was the question.
Sorry, Billy. You'll get the next one.
You had a better stat for the Bills-Patriots game than me.

Yeah, I don't want to discourage Billy from chiming in because I think the show is better when Billy is unafraid.

But he's got to be right.

No, it's actually better, I think, when he's very wrong.

Yeah, on my notes, it just says Tom Brady's 36th playoff win.

Okay, so you're blaming the notes now. No, but the thing is I saw that somewhere.
Someone else made that mistake. It's like when a tennis player misses the ball and he looks at his racket.
Like, what did it do wrong? No, somebody else snuck onto Billy's notepad when Billy was out of the room. And someone else made the mistake.
Billy copied that person. Yep.
And then now he's saying that that person should be blamed. Oh, yeah.
Billy, did you ever get in trouble for copying off somebody in a test that got their answer wrong? Yeah. Billy, here's what I'm going to do for you.
I got Jersey Jerry'd. I saw the stats online, and I just took them.
Here's what I'm going to do for you. Well, no, I think you saw 35 online, and then you added.
That would make sense, because someone with a blue check. It's going to blame someone else, and he's like, oh, Jersey Jerry did it too.
Remember that? Billy, if the Bucs win next week, I will let you announce that it's his 36th win. I need to find which blue checkmark tweeted this.
Because now I'm angry. Now I'm angry.
Now it's the libs. It's the libs.
Oh, yeah. Billy is first.
Actually, you're the first one to report. Tom Brady has won 36.
Congrats, Tom Brady. Bet on the box next week.
Money line. It's in the box.
That's Billy's premonition for this week. It's guaranteed.
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Cowboys, Mike McCarthy. I mean that I'm so mad at myself for thinking the Cowboys were going to overcome Mike McCarthy.
Mike McCarthy versus Mike McCarthy is a tale as old as time. Mike McCarthy versus Mike McCarthy versus time.
Mike McCarthy's brain is favored by 25 points minimum against Mike McCarthy.

He's at war with himself.

I can say this.

He lives in his own head, which is doubly bad because his head is filled with trash.

I can say this because I struggle with my weight, and I'm at times technically obese

if you go by the letter of the law.

You can't do BMI.

BMI is horse shit.

Mike McCarthy. And so I am this person myself, which shout out to Twitter because I said I'm done.
I'm hashtag done with the Cowboys and hashtag done with myself. And then I got an email being like, just checking in.
We saw self-arm on your Twitter timeline. So, no, I was just mad at myself that I bet I'm Mike McCarthy.
he though

when they zoom in on his face

I'm like

he's so fat that he just thinks slower than everyone. Like, that's what I think.
I, I'm like, he's, he's not processing at the same speed. He's like an old outdated computer.
It's like, it doesn't matter like how fast you are computing that computer Cannot think fast enough for what's going on. He's getting wider, and he's getting redder.
He's slowly turning into Alex Jones. He's complaining like Dak Prescott, he free-falled at the speed of gravity, and the refs didn't get over to him in time.
They're putting slime in the water, turning the frogs gay. We're not even talking about the last call, which who knows who called that, the Dak Prescott run that Cowboys fans like, what? It was his analytics guys.
Oh, his analytics guys. That's what he said.
Cowboys fans blaming that the refs got in the way. You ran the ball with 14 seconds left and no timeouts.
That is your fault. Now, Big Cap, Mike McCarthy did say on the final play with 14 seconds remaining,

they practiced that each week.

Oh, okay.

So they practiced having their quarterback run for 17 yards, fall down,

and then have the ref be able to keep up with Dak Prescott

as he's sprinting down the field.

Best case scenario for the Cowboys, you spike the ball with exactly one second left on the clock. That's best case.
But they practice this every week, and he's blaming New York. He's blaming the league.
He said that he was told the New York Review was likely to put more time on the clock at the end of it. Did you see the play as it happened? They were like two seconds late on that spike.
No, no, no. It wasn't even close.
They ran the ball with 14 seconds left. That was the game.
It was over. But it's not even that.
It was the punts. It was the fake punt, which was actually a great call by him.
And then doing whatever the fuck they were doing where they took a delay. They took a five-yard penalty after that where they were not putting the other team...
For a second, Mike McCarthy looked like he was discovering a genius way to play football, which is you run a fake punt, you get up to the line of scrimmage, you don't substitute, so the defense doesn't substitute, and then you try to run another play or to make the other coach burn a timeout. And for whatever reason, Mike McCartney, he just froze on the sideline.
And his punt team was like, do you want us to punt it now on first down? Or we can try the exact same play that's really all we know how to do as a punt team. It was crazy.
And then his brain, it wasn't a brain fart. It was like a brain burp.
I'm telling you, he can't think fast enough. His neck just expanded until it reached the collar, which then cut off the air circulation to his head.
Yeah. And he just froze.
They got a delay game penalty, which is one of like 14 penalties that they had today. They had 14 penalties, completely undisciplined team.
Just, it's a joke. Like they were, they had all the talent in the world.
And I guess this is every year with the Cowboys. They have all the talent in the world.
and guess this is every year with the Cowboys they have all the talent in the world and it just doesn't like it doesn't end up mattering in January because Mike McCarthy is your fucking head coach and you're going up against Kyle Shanahan who the Niners the first drive for the Niners was like like that was football porn the game was over it was crazy how they were able to go down the field. It was.
It was like the runs, everything they do. You want to bonk me for football porn? You said the P word.
Oh, okay. Yeah, that's too far.
I've been bonked for less. But it was crazy.
PSA's on full edge about the bonks. Oh, he's so triggered about bonks.
He's been bringing it up just casually in the office. I regret bringing it up.
I was thinking about your bonk list, and here's something maybe you should consider putting on there. I regret ever bringing it up.
I will never say it again. It's bad.
I got mad yesterday because the Skyline Chili, they were doing shots of Skyline Chili to celebrate Cincinnati's win, and then people were bonking me because I tweeted that out because there was a girl in the picture that was a waitress that some people thought was hot. And so they're bonking me.
You didn't notice her. I was looking at the Skyline Chili.
Yes. That's all I'm saying.
Forget about the bonks forever. I forget ever bringing it up because it has broken a little piece of your brain.
So we'll stop bonking.

Okay?

You'll stop.

I'm not.

Okay.

I will stop. All right.

I will forever stop because I want your brain back.

Only when it's appropriate.

I want that part of your brain back.

Okay.

You're going to get full horny PFT now.

Go for it.

I don't care.

He'll bonk you, but I won't.

All right.

I've got five more minutes on the dildo situation.

Yes.

Yes.

But it was crazy how good that first drive was. It was insane.
And the Niners looked like the better coach team, the team that had a plan. Debo Samuel was awesome.
But then the last four minutes, it was basically a race of who could lose the game in the more tragic fashion. Jimmy G's interception, which we all knew was coming, we were just like, he's going to do it.
He's going to do it. He had that.
They almost had the kiddo fumble, which, thank God, Jimmy G threw such a bad pass that it wasn't. It was a Cam Newton pass.
It was one of those ones where somehow the ball is pointing downwards as it's traveling forward and wobbly. And yeah, he skipped it right to him because that would have been, I would have felt very bad for a friend.
It would have been very bad. And then they didn't go for it on that fourth and one where it's like, you're Kyle Shanahan, you're the 49ers, just run the ball, you'll always get it.
Then they have the Debo Samuel play, which they basically atoned for punting on fourth and one by having that great play on third and 10 to end the game that didn't end the game because they were half yards short. And then they get an offsides or whatever it was.
It was just an insane ending. The game was close, but the last five minutes was essentially like, who could be worse at football to lose this game? Watching those two coaches square off, and they've both been hurt so much in the playoffs, that they're both scarred for life.
They were playing a game of reverse chicken, where if two guys got in cars, and instead of driving directly at each other, just sped off in opposite directions until one car ran out of gas, and then the other guy's a winner. And Kyle Shanahan, he was deep inside his own feelings, too, for a while.
They had some real questionable decisions in terms of when they were going to kick field goals when they were going to punt it was crazy turns out robbie gold that guy unjinxable holy shit unjinxable i tried my very best to jinx him um jim nance tried his very best to jinx him so did romo just unjinxable he won that game for the 49ers if you don't include the fact that the game was over after the first drive. And the rest.
The 49ers basically pulled their nuts out and said, okay, we're just going to run the ball. See, right there.
You can't do that. I didn't.
You can't say that you're going to stop and then go tell on me to Hank. I didn't.
You were like, teacher, PFT drew a dick on the table again. It was funny because it was the next one.
Yeah. But yeah, the game was over, as far as I'm concerned, after that first drive.
The 49ers were like, we're going to do the thing. We're going to deputize Greg Kittle as an offensive lineman before the game.
He's going to stay in and block, and he's going to love doing it, and we're just going to be more physical than you. And we're going to run from like six different angles.
And we're going to kick the shit out of you. We're going to run that little counter toss that we do.
Straight back.

I think that's unstoppable.

I don't think I've ever seen the counter toss where the entire offensive line

motions to one side.

Then you hit the running back, usually Debo, the wide back, excuse me,

when he's already cutting back to go against the grand.

I've never seen that play get fewer than five yards.

Watching the Niners when they're humming on offense,

you're watching a different sport than what we watched with the Steelers. It's just a beautiful thing to watch.
It's why I'm obsessed with Kyle Shanahan. And I'll always think the Niners, even if they have no one, it's like, well, it's Kyle Shanahan.
He'll figure it out. The other things from this game.
So the Cowboys are just a joke. The fact that they have this fucking stadium that has the sun just blitzing everyone in the eyeballs, then the punt hits the fucking video board.
They have 10,000 people trampling over each other to go stand and watch a game seven hours before it starts. It's so perfect, Jerry World.
The whole thing is just such a joke. And I also saw the stat that since Jerry World opened, the Cowboys are 3-2 in playoff games, and Alabama football is 3-0 in playoff games in Jerry World.
That's crazy. Yeah.
I mean, they just don't win the playoffs. The Cowboys just have never won the playoffs since the mid-90s.
You can point out that fluke that they had a couple years ago when it was Dak and Zeke, and Zeke basically put the team on his shoulders. Yeah, they beat the Lions at one time.
Yeah, they beat the Lions at one time. There were a couple blips here and there, but the Cowboys have just stunk in the playoffs for about almost 30 years.
It's crazy. Almost 30 years.
You could say like the Cowboys haven't been good since text messaging was around.

And it would be more or less true.

Yes.

Yes.

And it showed today.

They have all the guys and it just doesn't show up.

So Jerry Jones after the game said he essentially, you know, I love how he gives press conferences

after the game.

He does that in his capacity as general manager, by the way, not his owner.

But he said when you get this combination of players, you need to have success. So Jerry has graded himself as general manager with an A-plus for the season, graded his coaching staff as an F.
The crazy thing is Jerry Jones is 100% correct. Yeah.
Jerry Jones has built an awesome team. He might be, sneaky, a great talent evaluator.
They are, like, they have everything they need. Obviously, the offensive line wasn't, like, totally up to snuff at the end with all the holding calls.
I do think Trayvon Diggs, like, had all those interceptions, but he got burned again today with Brandon Ayoub. Like, he gets burned all the time.
time, but they have like a great defensive line. They have a franchise quarterback insane skill positions and it's was a catch up fucking first round exit with Mike McCart.
Like you imagine having to sit in a room with Mike McCarthy after a loss like that and like have him mumble his way through an explanation. I mean would ban me because I'd put a bullet in my head.
You can tell everything that Mike McCarthy is thinking because he went to the podium and just denied, denied, denied. He's like, no, I called that game perfectly.
The refs screwed us over. We actually ended that game with plenty of time to get a spike.
This was just – Mike McCarthy got up to the podium and essentially just said NFL rigged. And he rigged quit the press conference.
Mike McCarthy knows deep down that he completely fucked us up. And I don't know what else the Cowboys can do from a personnel standpoint, because I think that they've got maybe the most talented team.
Again, if you just judge by, well, actually, I mean, the Niners have probably more blue chippers. If you went just straight off, like who's, you know, the guys who are elite guys at different positions, the Niners do have an insane roster, which is like you kind of forget how good they are.
And I hope Bosa's okay. I hope Warner's okay because that's big for their defense.
D'Amico Ryan deserves a ton of credit as their defensive coordinator. But, yeah, you're right.
The Cowboys have all these fucking guys, and they get nothing for it. I do have a question.
And someone who's way smarter than me about football will probably correct me and tell me this is the dumbest take ever. But why is Kellen Moore decided as this next genius? Because I feel like every time I watch the Cowboys offense, it's boom or bust and it's clunky as fuck.
Because that's what happens to the Cowboys offensive coordinators because they always have the shittiest head coaches. Yeah.
That you have to have somebody right beneath the head coach where you're like, that guy is the head coach in waiting because the guy that's currently in charge is an absolute dunce. It goes back to like when Jason Garrett was the understudy for, was that Parcells? Yeah.
And it was like, this guy's going to be the next one up. And so everybody points at that guy and they're like, just wait until Parcells leaves.
Jason Garrett, he's a guy. That's what they're doing with Kellen Moore right now.
And again, someone's going to correct me and be like, it's Dak's fault or it's the offensive line or a million different things. But I've watched the Cowboys' offense enough to be like, I've never thought that – I've always thought it has not reached its potential.
With the amount of playmakers they have and the different things that they can do, I've just always been like, eh, that doesn't... They have guys.
They're not as talented as the Chiefs because Patrick Mahomes is better than Dak Prescott, but they have CeeDee Lamb, who's a burner. They have Amari Cooper.
They have a good tight end. They have great running backs.
They have everything. I don't get it.
Yeah, it makes no sense. I mean, this is classic Cowboys.
That's all you can say about it. This is a classic Cowboys season From beginning to end And the fan shots of them like crying There was a lady that was sobbing tears With four minutes left There was the guy and the girl That were holding each other The dudes all dressed up in Cowboys Like weird regalia You would think that for a fan base That is so used to crushing disappointment That they would be better at it.
But they're not. It's like every time it's a brand new thing.
And they have the MVP, 81% MVP, yes. Zach Prescott, congratulations.
Democracy is still alive. We were worried for a second that the voting was being stolen from us.
The voting system it was in shambles. I don't know what software system they were using to tally the votes we didn't even know if our votes were counted they clearly did at first this was this is like if the my pillow guy comes around run because we hacked the shit out of this voting system I also like I know we clowned at the Nickelodeon game but like the whole time I was like I kind of wish I was watching this this with my son because he would definitely be more into it.
Even though he has, I had a big breakthrough where he actually said on Saturday, he's like, Dad, I watch football. I was like, yeah, we're going to fucking watch football.
You're damn right we are. That's cool.
Yeah. I like that.
He watched it for like maybe three minutes. I was like, all right, I'm done.
I like the fact that they just have neon colors and they've got slime. We are essentially, at heart, we still have the same brain that we had when we were four or five years old.
You would have loved it. When all you want to see on TV is a cartoon and then maybe a neon green color occasionally.
You want to watch your things and then every now and then have a little mini acid trip. That's nice.
Is that too much to ask? Nope. The slime monster popping up? You never knew when that guy was going to show up.
It's crazy. The field goal thing is very funny.
The field goal. SpongeBob frowning and then smiling.
I love that. I like the field goal thing too, but I would like you lose the ball as it goes through the uprights.
I don't like that. You need to figure out a way where it goes into SpongeBob's head and head and gets stuck in there, and then he spits it out or something.

But yeah, I thought Nickelodeon did a great job, as always.

The MVP award is going to Dak Prescott.

By the shirts.

The NFL tweeted out congratulations to MVP Dak Prescott.

They deleted that tweet.

I'm thinking maybe Dak is trying to reject this award.

You can't. You can't.
You cannot.

It's bestowed upon you. You're MVP for life.

Can you check his Wikipedia?

MVP. We need to put the Wikipedia.

MVP for life. Update that.

No, not that. Pro football

references where it really matters.

That's where they put it for Mitch and it was incredible.

Because pro football references where

I want it there.

We need to DM that guy. Get on that.
I don't see it on pro football reference. Is it on Mitch's? Go to Mitch real quick.
I'm pretty sure it is. That's when it's a real award.
Career highlights and awards in Wikipedia it's not currently on there. It's pro football reference.
Fuck that. I almost said defacing.
Enhancing his Wikipedia. Pro football reference.
Pro football 2021 MVP. That's funnier because pro football reference is like the official record keeper of all football awards and MVP being on there will be so fucking funny.
But yeah, the Cowboys, you suck. I'm so mad at myself.
I don't know why I fucking thought. I just got swept up in all their names and stupid.
Just stupid. I did love watching the fights after the game.
The Cowboys fans were just fighting each other. There were like seven guys wearing different versions of the Micah Parsons jersey.
Just swinging on each other in the stadium. One guy's pants were falling off.
That's when you know it's like a real ratchet fight when a butt crack makes its first appearance and the guy keeps fighting don't don't do it don't do it you know what I'm talking about it's always it's always the longest butt crack it's a guy whose pants had no chance of staying up as soon as he started moving a little athletically. The butt goes up to almost in between his shoulder blades and he's still swinging.
I lost my credibility on this game. Didn't have credibility to begin with.
Still got my reputation. There you go.
Can always bet that. Hey, it's Rhea from Tricks in the Office.
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Shop their newest arrivals in store and online. All right, before we get to who's back, we'll wrap up any predictions for Rams-Cardinals.
I actually have no idea. This is one of those games where I'm going into it, and I feel like both teams have faded in the back half of the season.
Yeah. Maybe Rams? It's Matt Stafford? Oh, it's Rams.
It is? It's the M mimble. It's really Rams? I'll put my credibility on the Rams right now.
Are you sure you want to do that? Yeah. Once it goes away.
Someone on this podcast has to have some, and I'll put mine on it right now. There we go.
Best gambler on the show. Okay.
That's true. Rams.
Rams? Rams. Rams.
I was looking at the deep numbers going into this game, the stats behind the stats. We've had a lot of brothers playing this weekend.
Yes. It's been a ton of brothers.
We had the Diggs's. We had the Kelsey's.
Now we've got the Watts. Wait.
They're three Watt brothers. I know it's confusing.
I'm done with the Watt brothers. Which team is the other Watt brother on? Oh, there are two that play on the Steelers.

It's confusing.

Yeah, no, I know, I know.

Derek?

No, no, no.

He plays offense.

Yeah, no, you would think that it would be him.

You'd think they would put him with the other offensive players

at the very fucking bottom of the screen.

But in terms of all the brothers that play on separate teams,

one of their teams has won, the other has lost.

So going off that, you would bet on the Cardinals. Oh, yeah.
True. The Watts are due.
I'm done with the Watts. Rams.
Yeah? Yeah. I was never a huge fan of them.
You know, whatever. Now I'm done with them.
You're just never a huge fan of their family? Well, JJ,J., we always had a robbery with you. You guys used to bust his balls.
I like the Wats, too. You kind of cater to him.
But now I'm fucking... Here comes the Patriots' anger.
It took a while to bubble up. No, he's right.
Listen, in my old age, you gain perspective on things sometimes. John Cena taught me that.
And J.J. Watt, I think he's a good human being.
Well, he's also changed. Some may say that we made J.J.
Watt change to us. Some may say that.
I'd say most people would say that. No, we talked to J.J., and he goes, Hey, guys, let's cool it out on the comedy for a little bit.
Yeah, we got people die all the time. He was right.
And then he lifted up his purple gloves, and we're like, wait, dude, are you wearing a fucking costume right now? How many lives has JJ saved? So what's reading me? They were like, I like how... Wait, cured the hurricane.
What? He cured that hurricane. He beat the fuck out of that hurricane by himself.
So what's reading me the other day? Walter Payton Man of the Century. John Cena gave great perspective about the fragility of life and all these things.
And then on Friday's show, PFT and Big Cat, like, joked about having a game where Brandon

Starr is. perspective about the fragility of life and like all these things and then on friday's show pft and big cat like joked about having a game where brandon staley killed the chargers fan in every game and i was like correct yeah yeah that's what we do yeah no like if you thought john cena's speech changed us i think we discussed bolt man hanging by his neck from the rafters because brandon staley didn't get a fourth talk more about death.
Actually, that's really what it changed. It's like the fragility of life.
Yeah, the Cowboys made me want to kill myself today. So shout out Twitter for saving me.
But it's good that you can openly put that out there. Yeah, exactly.
Done with myself. Stop hiding it in the darkness.
It does sound suicidal now that I'm thinking about it. When I did the mayo mac and cheese on Twitter, the funniest response by far amongst all the quote tweets was I just got an email from Twitter being like, are you okay? Because somebody reported that mac and cheese was so terrible looking that they thought I was going to kill myself.
All right. Let's get to who's back.
We'll end with who's back. Before we do that, Piazza, you got one last ad.
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Who's back of the week? Hank? My most back of the week is the Masters. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. I noticed there was a commercial for him.
Commercial. Andrew Nance.
Yeah. I was home for break.
I was watching a lot of TV, saw my first Masters commercial. You're home for break? That's what you're calling having COVID? You're home for break? Wait, what? Were you actually sick? Home for COVID break? I was home for break.
Home with my sick, home for Q.

When you were sick, you were COVID.

Home for break.

You were home with a fatal illness.

It's actually a fatal illness.

I just wanted to take last week off.

No, but the Masters are back.

Did you see what Mike Zimmer said about Colin Bond?

No, what did he say?

It was crazy.

My other who's back of the week is interviews oh big week for interviews in the nfl yes uh it's always fun also to the patriots defensive woes uh they're they're fucked geron mayo's fucked with his interviews now like imagine being you know he's gonna get he's got i heard he's gonna have some interviews this week that's gonna be a tough one to walk into and into and be like, hey, you just went up a perfect game. Yeah, so they didn't punt? Imagine if you're the Texans and you've got two interviews lined up.
First one is with Mayo. Second one is with Brian Dable.
Who are you going to hire? Right. Yeah.
Do you think that maybe Mayo was thinking ahead to his interviews, didn't prepare enough? Who knows? I don't know what happened.

But it's not a good look for him.

But this is a big, you know, over the next few days,

every candidate is going to be interviewing with different, you know,

organizations and stuff.

People like Bears fans and these people that have a coaching vacancy get excited over the interviews.

I'm not excited anymore.

We're going to hire someone.

I've come to a bad realization.

Shouldn't you be excited?

This is the most exciting time. Yes, but you've heard me hire someone.
I've come to a bad realization. Shouldn't you be excited? This is the most exciting time.

Yes, but you've heard me say it.

I've come to a bad realization with my wisdom in life is that it's not the coach.

It's the organization.

Whoever gets hired is going to fail because the organization will fail them.

Jim Caldwell?

It doesn't matter.

You can name anyone, and 90% chance will fail because the Bears are a broken, terrible organization. I hope you guys get Jim Caldwell.
That would be funny for the jokes. I hope I get Brian Dable.
I would be excited about that. Someone not retread.
Like, just fuck it. Who cares? Just fucking do something.
I don't care. We've done done everything the Mark Treston the John Fox who cares my favorite part of this season is the official team accounts tweeting out updates on their coaching search like we have officially concluded an interview with Brian Flores and then the post is like sponsored by Boeing yeah great it's I mean it's they keep kids up up to date with every single It's like, just tell us when we fucking hire someone.
It's just like a series of seven teams trying very, very hard to get a retweet from Adam Schefter. Yes.
That's all their social teams are trying to do. Yes.
Also, shout out to Jimmy G. That was my Who's Back.
My Who's Back is Jimmy G. I'll just cut in line.
My Who's Back is Jimmy G because Adam Schefter tweeted this morning.

It was just a tweet from his brain. He's probably taking a shit.
He's probably just thinking about it. He said, during the second half of this season, Jimmy Garoppolo simultaneously has raised his value to both the 49ers and to other teams in the offseason trade market.
49ers would not be where they are today without him. That was written by Adam Schefter agent and then forwarded to Adam Schefter, and he said, any changes you need, Mr.
Editor? So, all-time tweet. Like, out of nowhere, just, hey, Jimmy G has the same agent as Tom Brady.
Let me tweet this out, hoping that I get some Tom Brady scoops. It would have been very funny if

Rap Sheet had seen that tweet and it was like,

oh shit, now I got to tweet something out about

Jimmy Garoppolo. And then he like rephrases

a little bit. Jimmy G has taken amazing

steps forward this year and it is

expected to be a significant part of

the 49ers in the near future.

I want someone to do this. Adam Schefter, I'm

pretty sure his contract is

up soon. Someone needs to do this for Schefter.
We should do that. Jake, you should do this.
Adam Schefter, I'm pretty sure his contract is up soon. Oh, yeah.

Someone needs to do this for Schefter.

We should do that.

Jake, you should do that.

Be like, it's crazy what Adam Schefter has done for ESPN this year.

Why don't you try to schedule it?

I don't know.

When's he doing his interviews?

Yeah, we've got to get an update on his interviews.

We should actually do graphics for Adam Schefter has just completed an interview with MGM.

Yeah, with Yahoo. Yeah.
The ESPN would not be where they are without Adam Schefter has just completed an interview with MGM. Yahoo.
The SPM would not be where they are without Adam Schefter. Tomorrow? Monday? That was such a wild tweet.
I guess I'm, in a weird way, like, if Schefter just went full heel, it's like, yeah, no more fourth wall here, guys. I'm just tweeting out whatever an agent tells me so that I can get more shit.
It's actually better for Adam Schefter now that everyone is caught on to exactly what he's doing because he can be more blatant with it. Right.
And it's almost like a joke now when he tweets out like, hey, Jimmy G, it turns out that the trade market looks like it's three first-round picks right now if anyone wants them. It's great.
He can get away with more now because we're all in on the joke. I think that, I think Schefter over the last couple years has gotten like, he's not a journalist anymore.
No. Right? We can agree.
He's an information broker. He's essentially just like a guy that collects dirt and will play to whoever the highest bidder is.
And the more he leans into that, I think the better for him. He should stop pretending that he has any sort of journalistic integrity at all because I think he's going to make a move where he just goes to a gambling company.
It's fine. I don't care.
He's like, I'm the man with the information that you need. I'll give it to you when I feel like it, sucker.
Yeah, $69.99 for my whale play. Exactly.
Yeah, Schefter, I think he's actually going to do that. He's probably going to get paid twice as much as he would to be a journalist.
Why not? Why not? Everyone should sell out. Everyone should be looking for that big day.
But he's... Getwood.com.
It's crazy that he's... It's crazy that he doesn't even change any of the wording.
I bet you that was literally sent to him in an email from Jimmy G's agent

and it was like one of those

suggested things to say.

And he just copy and pastes it.

He's like, I'll just fucking do this.

Include picture here.

Then I'll send it.

He probably just starts typing

Jimmy Garoppolo and then lets the

suggestive text finish

the sentence. You ever do that? That.
That always takes you on a wild ride. All right.
Who's back, PFT? My who's back is Coach K. Coach K's back after taking a couple days off.
He saw that Wake Forest had a good record, and then he came down with an illness. Well, he lost to Miami first.
Yeah, he lost to Miami, and then he saw that he had a game on the road against a ranked Wake Forest team, so he decided that he was going to come down with a real quick illness. And then, turns out, the Blue Devils beat the fuck out of Wake Forest, and then they beat NC State over the weekend.
Some people are saying that John Shire should coach the team for the rest of the season based on the performance against Wake Forest. Not me, but that was trending.

That entire sentence was trending on Thursday night.

So he's back, though.

He's back coaching the team, trying to keep his players from driving drunk and failing

at that.

But I actually really do like this Duke team.

I know we joke around about saying if Coach K doesn't lead them to a national championship,

then it's an utter failure.

But can you name a more talented team? Yes. Who do you think is more talented? Bama? No, Bama's in trouble, buddy.
Auburn's been fucking insane. That Kentucky game against Tennessee on Saturday, they scored like 107 points.
That was the Bills' pitch. They had the perfect offensive game.
It was crazy. Jake, if the season ended today, where would the Blue Devils be? They're fringe one seed right now, probably.
Probably two. What if Shire was coaching them? Oh, number one overall.
Yeah, exactly. They're better with Shire.
Auburn's really, really good. Yeah, check out Bruce Pearl interview on Benchmont.
there you go Jake yeah I was on the show too coming on back on on Thursday yes yes I love I mean I've been I've been hot in college basketball I fucking love college basketball so much noon game today Saturday yeah Purdue Illinois big game huge game yeah huge game Illinois is kind of back they are a little bl All right, that was our college basketball talk. Do you think that actually Coach K has done a bad job, like the whole Paolo Bancaro thing? Do you think that it's just that in Italy it's more culturally acceptable for their youths to drive drunk? Mm-hmm.
Yeah. And then Coach K just has done a bad job teaching him the rules in the United States.

That's probably true.

Because over there, if you can drink a bottle of red and parallel park a Fiat in one of

those tiny little streets, that's basically a national sport that they have.

Yeah.

In the United States, it's like, the rules, you got...

He's lost control.

You need somebody with a strong sense of wanting to teach the kids when they come over, especially

from a different culture.

Just a thought.

He's completely lost control of the locker room.

Thank you. you know with a strong sense of wanting to teach the kids yeah when they come over especially from a different culture just thought he's completely lost control of the locker room hank or this is like a three-month-old thing that you're saying the exact same things you said three months ago that's true uh jake i think it's it's more true now uh my who's back is tennis we don't need to get into the politics of what's going on with Novak Djokovic.
Free Djokovic. Bullshit.
That's the politics. He was deported from Australia.
Australia's fucking over. He did nothing wrong.
He cannot play for his 10th Australian Open title, so we're still a three-way tie at 20. Is there a chance that this is maybe people in the shadows, Roger Federer's paid someone off to get rid of these tournaments? Roger and Rafa are making this.
Seems a little convenient. There's like four rounds of court stuff.
I don't know. But the thing I wanted to point out is so they had to replace him in the draw.
He was the one seed. And what they do, it's an official term called the lucky loser.
So one of the alternates from the losing the last round of the qualifying round. Gets it? Yeah.
That's awesome. And they're called the lucky loser.
So one of the alternates from the, they lose in the last round of the qualifying round.

Gets it?

Yeah.

That's awesome.

And because they're called

the lucky loser.

Holy shit, that's so cool.

So all backups

should be called lucky losers.

That's the most Australian term

that I've ever heard though.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's a sport-wide term.

The lucky loser.

Damn.

So what did Federer do?

Federer just like

falsified a document?

I don't think Federer

had anything to do with it. His paperwork? Or not Federer.
No, you were right. Yeah, Federer falsified Novak's document saying that he had not been to Serbia when in fact he had.
Yeah, I think he might have. You know what? I'm just going to say it.
This is Mickey Mouse Championship. Yeah.
Mickey Mouse Major. Well, here's all I'm going to say is if a professional athlete, you know, accidentally leaves out some details about whether they've gotten the vaccine or not, they should get a second chance.
Like that's bullshit that people are upset at him. The crazy part is it was a technicality, right? Like he was implying that he had done something, but that's on you for assuming his implication.
And then like Australian people are like, oh, you should go to prison or jail. And it's like, get a life.
Yeah. You should fucking get to play.
That's what you should get to do. Your whole island is a prison.
Right. Australia.
It's bullshit. Learn your history.
I don't know. It runs me the wrong way.
I think it's, yeah. I think people are being very biased.
Could you imagine if they deported Rogers in a different country for this?

Who?

Roger Federer?

What did you say?

He's implying that Rogers Hornsby, the baseball player?

Who are you talking about?

Rogers Clemens.

They added an X to his first name.

His wife was the one doing steroids.

Multiple Roger Clemenses.

Amari Rogers on the package. Yeah, Amari Rogers.
If he did that, jail. Yeah.
Any Packer. All right, Billy, wrap us up.
I got two Hoosie backs. First one is Leonardo DiCaprio.
So Leonardo DiCaprio's ex-girlfriend, Camilla Marone. Yeah, yeah.
Go ahead. Did we talk about this before? No, no.
Keep going. Details the worst date of my life with the actor.
He rented out a whole cinema and made me watch every single Star Wars movie while he ran around with his lightsaber pretending to fight bad guys. That's crazy if true.
That's nuts. That was the only thing that Leo was in the news for? Am I missing someone? Yeah.
Yeah. He was getting a handjob in the ocean from his girlfriend.
I did not. I didn't know that.
I didn't know that. Did you see that picture? What did you talk about? Oh, what are you talking about? Well, that entire story is a hoax.
Oh, damn. That's what I'm saying.
That's what Spider-Man mean. Yeah.
Yeah, no, there was a picture of him. His girlfriend was, like, very clearly, like, was, like, behind him and, like, very clearly giving him a very clearly.
Like a reach around? Yeah, it was wild. It was like the Jeff Goldblum pictures.
But wait, so you got hoaxed again? Big hoaxed. Big hoaxed.
That was debunked quickly. Oh my God, Billy.
What? I mean, even the headline itself. Yeah.
Like read the headline out loud. Read it again.
Breaking. Okay.
All right, sounds legit. It's 1.30 a.m.
But you did those notes when? Somebody else did those notes. Other goes back.
Football guys. Hold on, go back.
Just read the headline. When did you do these stuff? I pulled this up during the show.
Oh, so you didn't have a... But you already said that you had a backup who's back.
So that was your who's back. Yeah, but I wanted to bring something more to the table.
So you already had it, though. Yeah.
So you wanted to go above and beyond. Other who's backs, football guys, they know that we're not doing this week.
But Mike Tomlin had a great quote. If you're blinking, we're going to cut your eyelids out.
Metal, bro. It is metal.
I think we talked about that on the show. Sorry it's late on a Sunday.
Happy MLK Day, guys. Yeah, happy MLK Day.
Look at this. Like bloody.
I mean, she could be doing anything. You don't know that he's getting jacked off.
It's just so funny. Maybe he's choking on something, and she's trying to give him the Heimlich.
It must suck to get just paparazzi'd like that. Like, you're just...
You can't even get... You're standing in the ocean getting a handjob, and you got some fucking creep in the bushes taking pictures.
I think that's not even indecent exposure because everything's beneath the water, right? Yeah, no, that's a fact. You should be able to get jacked off anywhere as long as your belly button is up to the tide.
That's a fact. And I'm happy that we've reached a new world where we can say these things freely to each other.
We can be open with it. Hank will judge us, but that's fine.
Hank can judge us in his own world. I'll just say it.
Handjobs are great, and they need to make it coming. Let's put our cards on the table here.
A lost art. Handjobs get a bad rap.
You know what it is? It's like listening to baseball on the radio. Self-service? It's fucking nice.
It's nice. It's jacking off a handjob.
It's nice. Just because we have HD doesn't mean you don't want to listen to a ball game on the radio every now and then.
It's a good throwback. What happens is handjobs are the coolest thing in the entire world from 6th grade until like 11th grade, 10th grade.

And then they become the lamest thing in the world for about 7 years.

And then people just have that stuck in their head like, oh, handjobs equals bad.

Turns out, no.

Handjobs are great.

They're lost art.

They're dying medium.

Hashtag BBHJ.

Yeah.

Giving or taking.

Yep.

Doesn't matter.

Love is love.

Giving one to yourself.

Boom.

It's good practice.

Yeah.

All right.

Numbers.

Real quick.

Bill, you good?

Nah, bro.

44.

Maybe a little more prep work.

That's fine. My notes are gaslighting me.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Give me an 8.

Writing stuff on like...

69.

88.

On paper.

You don't have a paper plate this time, so...

Yeah.

Random number.

All right, I'm going to do 22.

Meme size 3.

Does he always do 3?

I'm so excited

for tonight's game.

83.

Dolphins have huge brains.

83.

Not

Chris Greer. Third time.

Ciao Frank. Spend enough time

with Frank in a day. Oh, one last

note.

I love the Nickelodeon broadcast, but fuck young Sheldon. Yeah.
That nerd ruins the entire thing. It's all over us.
Love you guys. I'm talking away.
I don't know what I'm to say I'm sage anyway Today's another day to find you Shying away I'll be coming for your love again Shying away I'll be coming for your lover. Take on me.

Take me on.

I'll be gone.

Get out to your team.

Let's see. I won't send it.
Let's put a piece of little weight. Take me Place the bed at two percent of the sun.
Take on me.

Take me out.

I'll be gone for you anyway I'll be coming for you anyway Take on me Take me up I'll be gone Be empty

Take on me

Take me up

I'll be gone

Be empty I'll become energy.