Coach Jim McElwain, Remembering John Madden & Week 17 Picks

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Speaker 1 On today's part in my take, we are back in studio, different studio, all together.

Speaker 1 Minus Hank. We're going to talk some Monday night football.
We're going to talk about the passing of a legend, all-time football guy, John Madden. We have hot seat cool throne.
We have guys on chicks.

Speaker 1 The Arizona Bowl got canceled, whatever. That sucks.

Speaker 1 And we're also going to do the weekend preview because this will be our last show of 2021 without Hank. I should mention that.
He's not here. That's okay.

Speaker 1 He said that he's not here because Bills fans, he needed a personal day after what what the Bills fans were doing to him.

Speaker 3 Hank's taking a week off of social media, too, I believe.

Speaker 1 Yes,

Speaker 1 right. But we have a great show, long show.
If you have to work on Friday, we'll give you a spot to stop.

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

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Speaker 3 It's part of my take, presented by Marshall Sports.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take, presented by Tostitos, the official chip and dip of the NFL. Today is Monday, December 29th, and we start with the passing of,

Speaker 1 we were saying this beforehand,

Speaker 1 probably the number one football guy of all time, John Madden. He passed away at the age of 85.
Right before we got into studio tonight, we figured we had to start the show with him.

Speaker 1 For

Speaker 1 newer football fans, they think of Madden the video game. For us, PFT, I think we both think of Madden as the broadcaster and the video game.

Speaker 1 And then, of course, he was a Hall of Fame coach as well, winning a Super Bowl with the Raiders.

Speaker 3 Highest winning percentage of any head coach with 100 wins, I think.

Speaker 1 It's crazy to think about. like a guy like John Madden.

Speaker 1 And if you, I actually missed the documentary. I think it's it's going to be streaming, I think, January 3rd is what I read.

Speaker 3 Oh, I'm going to watch this shit out of you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so it came out on Christmas Day. I heard that it was incredible.
I missed it. I'm going to watch it.
Everyone should watch it. Maybe we'll do a review of it.
But it is crazy to think of

Speaker 1 like if you did a list of people who had an impact on football and football fans in America, I think John Madden might be one.

Speaker 3 Maybe even sports.

Speaker 1 Maybe sports because he had his career as a coach and then as a broadcaster, like

Speaker 1 the thing that made John Madden different and the thing that made John Madden so great was, and I think that we try to do this in our everyday life in our jobs, is if you're having fun doing something, the audience knows.

Speaker 1 And if you like and enjoy something, it comes across on TV and in your ears where you're like, this guy loves. his job.
He loves football. And he was the first broadcaster to really show that love.

Speaker 3 I think the best thing that you can say about a guy is that the gift that John Madden had and the gift that he gave people was that he loved something so much and so purely that he made other people love it too.

Speaker 3 Yes. And that it was like truly infectious love.
Listening to him talk about football made you love football more.

Speaker 1 Correct.

Speaker 3 Even if you weren't a football fan. And this kind of it transcends sports sometimes, but I kind of feel that way just about anybody that's super passionate about anything.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 3 They They make you love something and they show you the way that they love it.

Speaker 3 And with John Madden, the gift that he gave the world is that he made other people love football just because of how much he loved it. And in life,

Speaker 3 if you can do that, you've made the world a better place.

Speaker 1 Yeah, when I think of the two broadcasters, like when I was a kid watching sports, being like, oh, my God, look how much fun they're having. It's John Madden and Dickie V.

Speaker 1 It's those two guys where it's like they watch the game and they make you feel like you're part of the experience and you're having fun with them and john madden and pat summerall they were the crew like they were football they were sunday afternoons they were like

Speaker 1 everything that you could think of when you close your eyes for an entire generation what does football look like what does football sound like it's john madden and pat summerall and then what does football sound like it sounds like this it sounds like Boom.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's football.
Right. And it's illustrators.

Speaker 3 If somebody uses the word boom, then you're talking about football. That's code for let's talk about football.

Speaker 1 And we're going to date ourselves a little bit here, but then you then you move on to the video game, which is probably the most important.

Speaker 1 No, it actually, no, it's definitely the most important sports video game ever created.

Speaker 3 Except fuck the passing cone.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. But in then, like, the first 10, whatever, 12 years of it, he was the cover.

Speaker 1 I can see it in my head: him coming out of, I think it was coming out of a wall

Speaker 1 on the first cover. And I remember, you know, like maybe maybe Madden 96 or 7 on N64 when you could adjust every player rating on your team.

Speaker 1 So you just made your entire defensive line 500 pounds and 99 across the board. And I would get like, I think there was one season where I had 900 sacks.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there he is coming out of like a play sheet. And it's just, he brought football

Speaker 1 to an entire new generation with video games. And like, I loved

Speaker 1 the ambulance coming on, like all the

Speaker 1 Madden. We were lucky enough that we got to see basically the birth of the Madden football game and followed along.

Speaker 1 And yeah, you get to a point where you're probably aged out of it, but it still is the iconic game. I still have moments where I'm like, you know what I really want to do right now?

Speaker 1 I want to play some Madden. Like, that's all.
Oh, you just think of it.

Speaker 3 Always. And there was a great thread.
I'm going to read some Madden quotes because

Speaker 3 he just reading these quotes to myself, it makes me smile. The dude was such an awesome personality.
He was very funny, too.

Speaker 3 He was self-deprecating, which is like, there's so many people that take themselves too seriously, especially in media. I saw a report, I think Richard Deitch did an interview with him

Speaker 3 where it was a report of Chris Collinsworth and Al Michaels having dinner with Madden 2012 and being like, we really want you to come out of retirement to call one more game as a special, like a guest appearance for a week.

Speaker 3 And John Madden was like, no, because I know the work that goes into doing a single game. I know how much work it is to keep up with the NFL, to keep up with this sport on a week-to-week basis.

Speaker 3 Everything changes, and I don't have the ego that would make me want to get back in the booth to prove to everybody I still have it.

Speaker 3 And that's so rare for somebody who's undoubtedly reached the peak of their career to also not have the ego and to be aware of the fact that, hey, it's not as simple as just coming into the booth for a weekend, although I'm sure he still would have killed it.

Speaker 1 Oh, absolutely. Awesome.
Absolutely.

Speaker 3 So here's some quotes. Jay Adande pulled some of these up.
And this is John Madden talking about football.

Speaker 3 when you win as a coach you get to be a genius but if you look at it you're a guy that was a pe major in college your best class was recess and then you put then you become a coach when you win some games you're a genius you go from being good at recess to a genius that's great that's awesome uh

Speaker 3 he would say uh cheap and available you never want that as your nickname He said, there's great bodies and there's good bodies and there's average bodies.

Speaker 3 Every once in a while, you come across a bad body when he was watching a game.

Speaker 1 That's a fact. This is the pork chop one in there?

Speaker 3 The pork chop one's in here. Anyone from Houston, Texas, you're going to be tough.

Speaker 1 There's two rules in life.

Speaker 3 You can always be late. This is actually maybe my favorite John Madden quote ever.
There's two rules in life.

Speaker 3 You can always be late because you were watching Monday Night Football and the World Series. As a kid, you can always watch those two things and it's okay.
That is my child.

Speaker 1 That's so true. Buttoned up right there.
That's so true.

Speaker 3 This is just perfect about dogs. There's no dog that has more fun than a golden retriever.

Speaker 3 That's also just a fact. And then the pork chop one.
Whatever happened to nicknames, it's great to have a game where the tackle is nicknamed pork chopped.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's perfect. That's absolutely true.

Speaker 3 And maybe my other favorite one was when they were doing a preview for cops. You know, like they would always do the end next week or following the game on Fox.
We're going to watch cops.

Speaker 1 And Pat Summer would do the murder.

Speaker 3 She wrote. Exactly.
Yeah. So John Madden said, The thing about cops is when you're watching that show, there's always a guy with his shirt off.
And that's always the guy that did it.

Speaker 1 It's perfect.

Speaker 1 I mean, he's truly one in a billion.

Speaker 3 I am certain that John Madden is in heaven right now. Hell yeah.
If heaven exists, John Madden is definitely up there.

Speaker 1 He loved people. Yes, he loved people.
He loved football. He basically made Thanksgiving like a bigger holiday than it, like

Speaker 1 he

Speaker 1 popularized Thanksgiving, eating, football, all of it.

Speaker 1 He also, like, the coolest thing John Madden did was he just drove everywhere in a bus. Never got on a plane.
The famous quote is, I'm not afraid of dying.

Speaker 1 I'm not afraid of flying. I'm just afraid I'll die.
So it's like, and he just, he drove a bus everywhere.

Speaker 3 I think that's why he quit coaching, too. He was sick of flying everywhere.
It gave him such bad anxiety. He's like, you know what? I'm going to retire from coaching.

Speaker 3 And then the rest of my life, I'm just going to be like the global ambassador for football.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and I would always remember like he wouldn't go to the Pro Bowl because it was in Hawaii. He's like, well, yeah, he's not going to go there.

Speaker 3 I think we need to do something for John Madden. When I say we, I don't mean as a podcast.
Maybe we'll name the football. Well, Mike Tomlin called him the football man.

Speaker 1 Billy said that we should name America after him, just United States of Madden, which I kind of liked. That's not bad.
I think that's actually perfect.

Speaker 3 They should actually name. I'm trying to think of what trophies in the NFL don't have a name, the MVP trophy.
They could name that after John Madden.

Speaker 1 The problem is they're going to. Coach of the year.
Yeah, Coach of the Year. Yeah, why not?

Speaker 3 I think.

Speaker 1 Did Coach of the Year have a name?

Speaker 1 Coach of the Year should absolutely.

Speaker 3 He was always known for the All-Madden team, too, where he would just get like the toughest, grittiest guys out there. They should just pick the toughest, grittiest player.

Speaker 3 The NFL should give an award to that guy and call it the All-Madden award.

Speaker 1 They should actually get rid of the MVP because the MVP and the Heisman have become totally irrelevant at this point because it's just the quarterback on the best team and just make the MVP the Madden award and everyone is actually like eligible for once.

Speaker 3 A second MVP, the Madden valuable player like Nick does it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that would work as well.

Speaker 1 But yeah, an all-time legend.

Speaker 3 All-time legend. I actually do think that they should make a new award for him.
I don't think they should slap his name on something. I don't think that that's the proper homage.

Speaker 1 They should name the Super Bowl after

Speaker 3 John Madden Super Bowl. They should name football after Madden.
They should just call the NFL Madden. Like, you guys going to watch Madden on Sunday?

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. Or like the actual football.
Like, look at that. Look at how he handles the Madden.
Yeah. Well, that's the Duke.
Yeah, I know. They should just make it the Madden.

Speaker 3 I don't know who the Duke was.

Speaker 1 Like, you know,

Speaker 1 I'd say one of the biggest issues that Trevor Lawrence has is he's careless with the Madden.

Speaker 1 That works.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 We got to do something big for him. Roger Goodell, this will go down defining Roger Goodell's legacy.
Yes.

Speaker 3 How you figure out a way to properly honor the football god that was John Madden.

Speaker 1 I was going to say Tom Brady deflates his Maddens, but Hank's not here.

Speaker 3 You can't say that.

Speaker 1 You can't say that without Hank being here. Hank's not here.
He's not here because he said, I think his quote was, hey, guys, I'm going to take today off because Bills fans were so mean mean to me.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, actually, he's not here because he's the travel.

Speaker 1 That's a segue to the next one. John Madden, all-time legend.

Speaker 1 If you're too young to know the impact he had. Well, here's the thing.

Speaker 1 If you're too young to know, to remember John Madden calling games and being on the face of video games, you don't realize how much impact he had on your life with like just before you became a football fan.

Speaker 1 You became a football fan because of John Madden without even realizing it. So do watch.
I think I read January 3rd. It's going to be streaming everywhere.
Do watch it.

Speaker 1 We will do a documentary review.

Speaker 1 All-time, all time.

Speaker 3 It's a tough year for Frank Caliendo between Gruden and now this.

Speaker 1 Someone tweeted was like, you got to get Frank Caliendo on tomorrow's show. I was like, ah, man.

Speaker 1 He's probably, yeah, Frank's probably going to hang that one up for a while. But so we are, the reason why we're, well, we're all back because the Arizona Bowl got canceled.
You probably saw.

Speaker 1 Hank is not here because his plan was to go to Arizona from where he was.

Speaker 1 We were going to tape this show originally on Wednesday. We decided let's do it on Tuesday because we can maybe take a little bit of a break.
So that's why he's not here.

Speaker 1 It's not actually the Bills fans. Although I think they did get to him.

Speaker 3 It was very convenient.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 they did get to him, but that's why he's not here. Arizona Bowl got canceled.
Fucking sucks.

Speaker 1 With that said, I would recommend everyone, if you can figure out a way to have a plan to jump out of an airplane in a public manner and have that canceled 48 hours beforehand, thrill of a lifetime.

Speaker 1 I had quite the 2021 with canceled plans between this and my root canal because I obviously really, I was very upset that the game got canceled.

Speaker 1 We had so many people doing so much work behind the scenes for so long.

Speaker 1 Even that fuckhead, all business Pete, shout out him, can't even come.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 not having to jump out of the plane was awesome.

Speaker 3 That's a nice consolation. It really is.
I'm pretty pumped because I hadn't learned higher. We were going to play higher with Scott Stapp.

Speaker 3 He was going to play with us in Pup Punk, and he likes to play it in a very certain, I think he tunes it down like a half step when he does it live. I had not practiced it at all.

Speaker 3 I think I learned the basics of it about a month and a half ago. Hadn't played it again.
We were thinking about actually preemptively canceling that because we were like...

Speaker 3 He's probably going to sing it at halftime, too. We don't want to spoil the big surprise.
Well, this is Future Us prop. But then it was too late in the game.

Speaker 3 Because we're going to still do it.

Speaker 1 We still have the Arizona Bowl. We still have another two years of rights, I believe.
So you're still going going to do it with Scott Stapp. I'm still going to jump out of an airplane.

Speaker 1 This is the ultimate, we'll just handle this in a year from now.

Speaker 3 I'd also like to say that

Speaker 3 I'm very, very happy for Central Michigan. Yeah.
Good for them. They got paid by the Sunbowl.
I think they're getting like $3 million to go play in that game. Good for them.
No animosity.

Speaker 3 It sucks that COVID has fucked everything up. But I think that a lot of people are talking about we saw with the UCLA game and the NC State game where NC State's saying like, oh, they backed out.

Speaker 3 They voted as a team to not play. I don't know if that's true or not, but most of the, like, we're so far behind what even the CDC is saying right now in college football.

Speaker 3 And I think the reason for that is because of the threat of lawsuits. Right.
There are a bunch of people out there, the people that run the bowl games, that run the stadiums and shit.

Speaker 3 They're terrified of the fact that one person gets sick and then they get sued for all that they're worth after the fact.

Speaker 3 I don't think it's up to the players, and it's not up to the coaches to decide, like, do you or do you not want to play?

Speaker 1 Obviously, Boise State wanted to play the chips wanted to play it sucks it just the whole thing it's it's out of our hands it sucks shout out the losers

Speaker 1 which there are many who rooted like basically for our bowl game to get canceled because they hate barstool essentially saying fuck those kids that work really hard and have like a bowl game that they all like Jake and I were on the call with the coaches The coaches are like, all of our players are so excited to be in this game.

Speaker 1 This is going to be a lot of fun. That gets ruined for them.
But, you know, who cares? The people online who want to be like, ha ha, you guys deserved it. That's pretty cool.

Speaker 1 I just want to hypocritical pieces of shit.

Speaker 3 I just want to show those people the face of a boy that you've tremendously upset and you've ruined his week. Yes.
That's Jake Marsh. He is.

Speaker 1 Look at that. Jake Marsh is going to be on the call with Dave and I.

Speaker 3 Can we show Jake Marsh right now? I do feel the worst going to be doing play-by-play.

Speaker 3 He had already put in 90% of the prep work, which knowing Jake was probably, he probably spent the last month and a half just like staring at rosters, playing the media guide pronunciations of their name.

Speaker 3 Jake, what was the toughest name that you learned how to pronounce?

Speaker 1 Actually, one of Boise State's biggest players on defense, Keikalo Kaniho. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 That was like honey.

Speaker 1 And in Central Michigan, I mean, Pimpleton is

Speaker 1 Lou Nichols is great. Okay.

Speaker 1 It's not about me. It's about the players.
Feel bad for Boise State seniors. Yeah, it sucks.
It really does suck.

Speaker 1 And I know there's a lot of people who say bowl games don't matter.

Speaker 1 They actually do matter from a football standpoint more than people realize because if you're in a bowl game, you get an extra like three weeks of practice that can help you for next year, that can help underclassmen progress and get and get a shot, especially if there's other people opting out.

Speaker 1 So it does matter from a team standpoint, and it's a cool experience. Like a lot of these kids at Boise and Central Michigan aren't going to be playing in the NFL.

Speaker 1 They got a chance to play on a game that would have been a cool platform, the first ever barstool sports bowl. The whole thing sucks, but you're right pfd like central michigan they

Speaker 1 jim mcawain who's on the show today a great interview coming up he had a really nice note like they they end up like they had to do what they did because they get more money than they would have gotten because sunbowls on cbs it's how the business works people are trying to own us for that fact it's like no

Speaker 1 a game that's on cbs can pay more than a game that's on yeah uh barstool and face and youtube we were good for them yeah we're like we're trying to build something of course, that's how it works.

Speaker 3 I'm bummed that it got canceled, but I'm not, like, there's no animosity whatsoever.

Speaker 1 No, and the Mac gets shot.

Speaker 3 It was the correct decision, and I'm glad that they got it.

Speaker 3 I'm interested to see how this plays out, especially when it comes to the college football playoff, because they put out those rules about what's going to happen in the event of positive tests.

Speaker 3 I don't know if they're going to change any of that going forward, but I will say that the rules, as written right now, heavily favor Michigan.

Speaker 3 And most importantly, they favor Harbaugh. They favor Jim Harbaugh.
Why? Because I guarantee you, Jim Harbaugh is going to have his players isolated.

Speaker 3 They're going to be in competition coffins where they get fed their meals just coming through straws through the door. Harbaugh is not going to,

Speaker 3 he's going to lock his players up in rooms and be like, you're not interacting with anybody. This is, we have a greater purpose to serve.

Speaker 3 There's no greater enemy, foreign or domestic, than the coronavirus.

Speaker 1 See, I think Michigan's the only team that actually has a chance of

Speaker 1 losing out on this. No.
Because, well, no, I mean, the SEC does whatever they want. They've done whatever they want from the beginning.

Speaker 1 Georgia and Alabama, they changed their rules on the fly. Bill O'Brien's already back in practice.

Speaker 1 But Cincinnati, this is the biggest.

Speaker 3 That's the SEC's choice. No.

Speaker 1 No, they played. Oh, they basically have...

Speaker 1 They brought back Bill O'Brien out of nowhere. I'm pretty sure they made...
The SEC changed their rules.

Speaker 3 But when it comes to places, I don't think that they just leave that up to the teams.

Speaker 1 I think Michigan's the most at risk just because of knowing Michigan's athletic department and the big ten and kevin war all that shit that has gone into the entire last two years i think it's it's going to be left up to the ncaa it's going to be up to the the no because the

Speaker 1 charge of the testing and all that no because the the college football playoff they're just going to be like

Speaker 3 they're going to be like hey nick saban we found a stack of uh 20 binax tests tests down at walgreens i'm just going to trust that you give your guys a test and report back test the real figures yeah i don't think that's how it works i'm pretty sure that the the look it up jake I'm pretty sure the SEC has like some

Speaker 1 rules that basically are like, we're going to get to the college football finals, no matter what.

Speaker 3 We'll see how that plays out, but I guarantee that Harbaugh is like, he is treating this like his war. We know that he can't stop reading nonfiction books about World War II.

Speaker 3 This is Harbaugh's greater purpose. He was born for a moment like this.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, Nick Saban, too.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but Harbaugh is...

Speaker 3 I have faith in Harbaugh.

Speaker 1 I'm still looking at him. Oh, okay.
All right. Monday night football.
Oh, I guess we could do predictions for

Speaker 1 the

Speaker 1 final four in college football. I've wavered.
There's been times where I've been like, ooh, maybe Cincinnati will give Bama a game. I think we're just on a collision course for Bama, Georgia again.

Speaker 3 That's what it looks like to me.

Speaker 1 But it feels that way. But

Speaker 3 I think I'm going to take Michigan and Alabama.

Speaker 3 I want to believe that Michigan is going to win. So I'm really going with my, I'm going with my heart, not my gut, on that one.
So Michigan and then Alabama.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's, yeah, fuck.

Speaker 1 I'm excited for the games. I hope there's no blowouts.

Speaker 1 I hope we, there always is, but especially when it's New Year's Eve, it's like they put basically your entire happiness on New Year's Eve into hopefully these games are competitive.

Speaker 1 And when they're not, it fucking sucks.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Monday night football?

Speaker 3 Well, we had a lot of people that got mad at us for not talking about Thursday night football. We never talked about Thursday night football on Sunday night shows.
No.

Speaker 3 But there were a lot of Titans fans out there being like, why are you ducking us? Yes. So we should at least acknowledge the fact that the Titans won on Thursday night football show.

Speaker 1 They did, and they also won in very Titans fashion where they were down in the first half. You vacated if no one can play.
No, if no one can play.

Speaker 1 But I'm pretty sure the SEC has been playing by different COVID rules the entire time.

Speaker 3 They have,

Speaker 3 but this is not an SEC game.

Speaker 1 No, but I think they still have jurisdiction over like they don't suggest. I don't think so.

Speaker 3 I don't think it's conference by conference. I'm like 99% sure that it's not conference by conference.

Speaker 1 These rules are by the College Football Playoff Management Committee. Yeah, that's not the NCAA.

Speaker 3 Yeah, College Football Management Committee, whatever.

Speaker 1 So they're going to just make sure they play.

Speaker 3 The Overlords are in charge of all that.

Speaker 1 They'll just make sure they play. Oh, they're going to play.

Speaker 3 But, yeah, I'm just saying, like, I trust, I feel like Harbaugh is locked in on this one.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, Titans won.

Speaker 3 There you go. Titans won.
Congratulations.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Titans fans are very ornery. Jimmy Garoppolo.
They get very upset with the finger.

Speaker 3 It's been the year of the finger. Yep.

Speaker 3 Jimmy Garoppolo had maybe the worst performance of any quarterback that had kind of a decent stat line, at least at halftime. I think he was like 14 for 18 at halftime, but

Speaker 3 all of his misses were either interceptions or should have been interceptions.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and then we didn't even bring up the John Lynch liking a tweet at Christmas Mass, which was all-time.

Speaker 1 I think that's actually just Rico. He just took a playbook out of Rico Bosco's playbook because it's.

Speaker 3 Rico goes to church.

Speaker 1 Well, whatever bad things happen, he does. Yeah.
And he basically was like, hey, everyone talking about me liking this tweet saying that Jimmy Garoppolo is bad.

Speaker 1 Just so you know, I'm in church right now with my family on Christmas Eve.

Speaker 3 Yeah, well, shut up. If John Lynch thought that that was a good excuse, he's also saying, yeah, I was just scrolling Twitter.

Speaker 3 I was checking my ats.

Speaker 1 Also, it's totally believable because Jimmy Garoppolo had a terrible game. Very bad game.
He has been playing well, but that was a game that the Niners should have won.

Speaker 1 And Jimmy Garoppolo, like, that was, I don't know who said it, but it was basically the Colts and the Niners are the same team. Their Spider-Man meme where it's like their roster is really good.

Speaker 1 They have a ton of really talented players. You just hold your breath that Carson Wentz or Jimmy G won't do something crazy.
Yeah, and Jimmy Gentleman.

Speaker 1 And they both have played well this year at Tyler.

Speaker 3 Who's that? Was it Harrison Ford the guy that he's crashed like four planes?

Speaker 4 Yes. Yeah, he can't stop.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so when you say that Jimmy Garoppolo going 14 for 18 is a good thing, that's like saying Harrison Ford has completed 14 out of his 18 flights. Because when it goes bad,

Speaker 3 it goes real bad. It goes.

Speaker 1 But speaking of good quarterback play, Tua,

Speaker 1 I don't like what Lewis Riddick said. He said

Speaker 1 possible franchise quarterback. But the Dolphins are now,

Speaker 1 they've done the impossible. They've lost seven games in a row.
They won their first game, lost seven games in a row, won seven games in a row. An insane season.
They're eight and seven.

Speaker 1 They control their own destiny. Jake,

Speaker 1 what's your Dolphin fever at right now? It's nice. I'll be honest.
I was kind of bummed out yesterday, so I wasn't because I wasn't focused too much on it. By the way, I should correct myself.

Speaker 1 Kekala Canijo, cornerback, not linebacker. Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 We really got canceled. We dodged a bullet here.
Everything happens for a reason. Disaster.
Getting ahead of it. I would have written a letter and mailed it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But no, it's crazy that they're in this position. Kind of did the same thing a few years ago with Tannehill and Adam Gase.
Right. They won like eight in a row.

Speaker 1 I think they were like 10 wins or something. Yeah, they got in the puffs.
No, they got

Speaker 1 lost. Was that last year? Was that the game in Pittsburgh? Yes.
When Matt Moore got fucking smoked and it was just candy-ass uniforms in the cold.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they started like one in five, and then they made the playoffs. It's crazy.
I mean, the Dolphins are, I don't know if they're good because they have played. No one.
No one. And the

Speaker 3 hilarious list.

Speaker 1 The list of quarterbacks is

Speaker 1 very, very funny. They've won.
They have won.

Speaker 1 And then they got to add Ian Book, which, like,

Speaker 1 I did enjoy that it became just an indictment on Notre Dame.

Speaker 1 All the stats were flying. It was 24 games in a row that a Notre Dame quarterback has lost in the NFL.

Speaker 1 Last time a Notre Dame quarterback won a start was Brady Quinn in, like, 2012, I think.

Speaker 1 And then there was also the stat that the last time a Notre Dame player attempted a pass in the playoffs was 2006, and it was actually the punter for the Colts because the blocking got fucked up, and he just tried to shovel the ball.

Speaker 1 So it was a 16-yard loss. And that was the last time a Notre Dame player attempted a pass in the playoffs.
And you had Ian Book being the first ever Ian to start a game at quarterback.

Speaker 3 So I didn't know that about Ian.

Speaker 3 I would have thought that. Actually, I don't know that that tracks because Ian is 100% like a Moxie backup quarterback name.

Speaker 1 It's not a story. Or a reporter.
Or a reporter. One of the two.

Speaker 3 And Bubba pointed this out to me about Ian Book, because we all know Ian Book. Remember, he started infinity games at Notre Dame.

Speaker 3 He lost the iBlack.

Speaker 3 That's where he went wrong. He used to be the biggest iBlack guy in college football when he played.
And then he's going to play a game

Speaker 3 under the bright lights of Monday Night Football. And you come out there just raw dog in the sun.

Speaker 3 You should have put portals in. And actually, so it's funny, like, Ian Book's performance was so bad.
It didn't really look like he was playing football.

Speaker 3 Or he looked like a good athlete that has been convinced to try out to play football. Be like, hey, you're going to.
He looked like Greg Paulus, if Greg Paulus made it to the NFL.

Speaker 3 And he was so bad that he's actually the reason why the NFL said, okay, you know what?

Speaker 3 We got to change the rules.

Speaker 1 It's the Ian Book rule. Yes.
It's like, okay,

Speaker 3 it's reached rock bottom. Sam Ellinger.
We have to change everything because we can't have another performance like this.

Speaker 3 It's basically the same thing as Kenny Pickett's charge, the slide that got immediately revoked right after.

Speaker 3 Roger Goodell saw this performance and was like, let's just not test anymore because this is worse than coronavirus.

Speaker 1 And also, Alvin Kamara, I've never seen someone just not want to be there more than he did on Monday night. I don't blame him.
No. Because Ian Book, like, basically, every single play was the same.

Speaker 1 He would look through his progressions, not see anything, or throw a pick six for a touchdown.

Speaker 1 And then at the very last second, he would dump it off to Kamara, who already had a linebacker, like going full speed at him. And he was just like, fuck this, dude.

Speaker 1 Like, there was one specifically where he dumped it off to Kamara. I think it was a third and like eight.
And Kamara was three yards behind the line of scrimmage. And he dumped it off to him.

Speaker 1 And Kamara just got fucking smoked. It was like, why did you do that, dude? Why would you throw that to me? I don't want the ball.

Speaker 3 There was the other play in his playbook where he would just drop back and immediately sprint to the right and run out of bounds as he was throwing the ball.

Speaker 3 And that ball would usually land out of bounds or in a defender's hands at the same time.

Speaker 3 It was tough watching.

Speaker 1 And fuck Drew Brees.

Speaker 3 Fuck Drew Brees for sending that smarmy ass text back when they're like, please, Drew, can you please come back and play for us again? He's like, nope, I'm out here golfing. Guess what, Drew?

Speaker 3 You ever think it's about somebody besides yourself

Speaker 3 and your sons, not your daughter, your sons? Because

Speaker 3 we would have liked to watch some actual football on Monday Night Football. Fuck Drew Brees.
He should have done that. He's selfish.

Speaker 3 He's selfish for not coming back and making America experience the Ian Book game because it wasn't even entertaining bad. It was just,

Speaker 3 I zoned out in about the third quarter. I was like, I will not, I'm waterboarding waterboarding myself by watching this.

Speaker 1 Do you know what I'll say what Ian Book did, though? He gave us good perspective, how hard it is to play quarterback because

Speaker 1 Ian Book was a good college football quarterback, and it looked like he had never played quarterback. That's how hard it is to play in the NFL.

Speaker 3 They should have put in Blake there.

Speaker 1 It really did look, though. You watch it, you're like, has this guy ever played football before? No, he was a really good quarterback at Notre Dame, and he got drafted by the Saints.
And who knows?

Speaker 1 Maybe with enough time, like he just wasn't ready. I don't know.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to judge Ian Book. I'm not going to judge a book by its cover just from that game.
But it was bad.

Speaker 3 It was very, very bad. It was bad.
I'm boycotting Drew Brees, though. I'm not going to watch his picks on Sunday Night Football.
Nice.

Speaker 3 I'm going to turn away from the TV like fans used to do for the opening acts of Metallica when they go out on tour. I'm not going to watch Drew Brees.
Fuck Drew Brees for making me watch that.

Speaker 3 Also, they should have put in Blake Bortles. Yep.
Are you telling me that Blake couldn't have gone out there and done any better? Also, he definitely could have.

Speaker 3 I think Blake would have, at least, he would have been cool to watch. He would have had a good time.

Speaker 1 He also had a really good-looking beard. He's done a really good job with his beard manicure, where it almost looks like if he didn't have his hat on, he'd have hair.

Speaker 3 He looks good in black, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he does look good in black. Slimming.
Very good. Yep.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, so that was Monday night football. We are now

Speaker 1 careening towards week 17 where it feels like everything's going to get decided. We will do our picks after Jim McElwain.
Everyone's texted their picks to memes, so we'll get into all that.

Speaker 1 Let's do hot seat cool throw and then we'll get to Jim McElwain. PFT, you had a quick word from one of the things.

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Speaker 1 All right, hot seat cool thrown. Hank's not here.

Speaker 1 Anyone from the booth, Bubba, do you have one? Or TJ or memes?

Speaker 1 Three-man booth right now.

Speaker 1 Negative. Okay.
All right, PFT, let's start with you.

Speaker 3 Okay, my hot seat is statistics and probability because Josh Allen has won 13 out of 16 coin tosses this season.

Speaker 3 That's wild.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 3 That's not just, that's not coincidence. No.
I don't know if he's sticking with tails or if he's going back and forth, switching back and forth between head, getting head as well as the tails, but

Speaker 3 he's on a fucking run right now, and he's nine straight. He's hitting nine straight in a row.
Oh, I actually found this tweet. The probability of hitting nine straight is 0.1953.

Speaker 3 So, Josh Allen is defying all the stats nerds. Probably the same losers that were like, don't draft Josh Allen are the same ones that'll tell you that it hits 50% of the time.
I love it.

Speaker 3 According to this empirical evidence, Tails hits 13 out of 16 times. So, take that to the bank.

Speaker 1 That's dominant. That's a dominant performance.
That's a franchise quarterback.

Speaker 3 I also heard that if you flick a penny, if you like you spin a penny, not flip it up in the air, but if you spin it by flicking it on a table, it falls down headside up,

Speaker 3 I think 80% of the time. Because a new penny, it's heavier on the tail end.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit, we should cut this.

Speaker 3 So we should cut that and then win a lot of money from hustling people. We should hustle Hank because

Speaker 1 we listen to the show.

Speaker 3 And then my cool throne is the Minnesota Vikings. The Vikings on the cool throne because they brought in my guy, Kyle Sloeder.

Speaker 3 Kyle Sloeder, the best preseason quarterback that you've ever seen, has not gotten a chance to start a game in the NFL. And he's literally good.
Kyle Sloeder's literally good. In preseason.

Speaker 3 In preseason. And he's also like my little pet project because I feel like I'm the only one that's going to stand on the table for Kyle Sloeder.
No one gives him any shine. He's got a bad rap.

Speaker 3 He's gotten bad luck. He gets signed, release, signed, release.
Just start Kyle Sloeder, Minnesota. And it's weird because I think Mannion is the backup to Kirk Cousins, right?

Speaker 3 And Mannion is, he's in the COVID protocol. Kirk Cousins was probably hanging out around Mannion.
Facts. So they got Sloater.
They put him on the active roster immediately for Sunday.

Speaker 3 I feel like we might be getting some Sloater this Sunday. I think so, too.

Speaker 1 Sloaterboat. I think so, too.
To the board.

Speaker 1 All right, my hot seat is Future Me, which we talked about because we canceled all those plans, and it was a thrill in the moment to not have to jump out of a plane.

Speaker 1 But this is going to, I'm sure this is going to end badly. Like, I think there's just a

Speaker 1 rule in life that if you have anything like a flight cancellation or like a weird happenstance delay, then you hop on the next one, or you are supposed to jump out of a plane today and you're going to do it in a year from now.

Speaker 1 I will die. I will die in a year from now.
Or

Speaker 3 you might be on a plane where you have to know how to jump out of it, like a plane that's about to crash. Yeah.
And they hand you a parachute and they're like,

Speaker 1 well, I have done it once, but yeah.

Speaker 3 You're like, do you know how to do this?

Speaker 1 And you're like, I forgot. Oh, fuck.

Speaker 3 I forgot. It's been a while.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But doesn't it feel like just the odds?

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 I probably will die next year. Well, I probably would have been fine tomorrow or today.

Speaker 3 No, no, 2022, everything's different once the year changes.

Speaker 1 It has crossed my mind, though. That's one of those things you just tempt fate.
When you cancel a plan like that,

Speaker 1 something's going to happen bad next year.

Speaker 3 I think you can always say. But I have another year to worry about.
You can do the Mark Wahlberg and be like, you know, that flight, it actually would have gone down, but I didn't get on it.

Speaker 1 I didn't get on it.

Speaker 1 And then my cool throne is Antonio Brown because we talked about it on Sunday, but he is being framed by the media.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you guys saw, but someone compiled an entire list of things that he's done.

Speaker 1 I'll just read off some of it because this is, it's crazy how much the media has made up stuff about Antonio Brown to try to get him to be seen as a bad guy.

Speaker 3 So, what we're going to do right now is we're going to read all the things that the media has made up about Art.

Speaker 1 Right, right. Okay, so these are things media has made up that he might have done.
Kicked out of Florida International University after fighting a security guard.

Speaker 1 Don't touch me, I'm the franchise.

Speaker 1 He said, His second year in the league, he took a personal stretch limo to a charity event, had them open every single expensive bottle of wine, rejected it, refused to pay for it, charity, and then left, threw fits over not getting enough targets, drove 100 miles an hour down McKnight Road in Pittsburgh, which has a 45 mile per hour speed limit.

Speaker 3 I like how they just threw in what the speed limit was. Yeah, yeah, that's it.
Like it would have mattered if it was a 60-mile-an-hour speed limit.

Speaker 1 Killed a home aquarium full of piranhas and refused to pay the man who installed the tank.

Speaker 3 Okay, piranhos are man-eating fish.

Speaker 3 Sounds like he saved some lives.

Speaker 1 This was definitely written by a Steelers fan because refused to play week 17 for the Steelers. Who could forget?

Speaker 1 I do remember that. You remember he had the big coat on? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 And didn't Mike Tomlin be like, I want, that's the first time that he said, I want volunteers, not hostage.

Speaker 3 So I think it takes two to tango there.

Speaker 1 Dyed his mustache blonde. Yeah, we talked about that.

Speaker 1 Refused to pay a chef because he thought he threatened him by placing a fish head in the freezer. The fish head was saved to make a soup.

Speaker 3 I love the fact that Antonio Brown's opening up his freezer and he sees a fish head

Speaker 3 and he thinks that he's in the godfather.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Farted on a doctor.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 you're allowed to do that.

Speaker 1 Doctors get farted all the time. I disagree.
I disagree.

Speaker 3 They're a healthcare professional. They specialize in the human body.

Speaker 1 This was definitely, because he's done some real stuff, but this was definitely a stealer. You demanded

Speaker 1 stealers.

Speaker 3 Go back to the farted on a doctor one. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's HIPAA. Yeah, it is.
It's on tape. Unless he's.
Oh. That's also HIPAA.

Speaker 4 It's actually a video of him.

Speaker 1 You've been farting on the doctor.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's HIPAA to retweet that. Did he lift his leg?

Speaker 1 If you lift your leg, I think it's a crime. If you don't, then it's just

Speaker 1 plausible deniability that it just happened. But if you do the leg lift, like, here he goes, I'm going to fart on you.
That's fucked up.

Speaker 3 Well, what kind of doctor was it? That matters. Proctologist, fart away.
They need to be able to tell if you're healthy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 Demanded a trade from the Steelers. That's, again, a Steelers.
That's pretty bad, yeah. Became Mr.
Big Chest. I think think that's a positive.

Speaker 1 I think this list is actually proving Antonio Brown's point.

Speaker 3 Yes, he killed a lot of piranhas. So far, the worst thing that you've said has been that he killed a bunch of piranhas,

Speaker 3 probably the same fish that his chef was leaving frozen in his freezer.

Speaker 1 Some of these are also signed with Patriots, moved in with Tom Brady. And then the next one is the sexual assault allegations came out.

Speaker 1 That seems like more serious than signed with the Patriots moved in with Tom Brady. Dyed his mustache.
Whoever made this list didn't really prioritize actual things.

Speaker 3 Okay, a couple bad things Antonio Brown's done. One, he requested a trade.

Speaker 1 Two, he raped a chick. Yeah,

Speaker 1 three, he dyed his mustache blonde. So you decide which one's bad.
Bad guy. Yeah, bad guy.
Yeah, this list is all over the place.

Speaker 1 Threatened the woman not suing him in a group text that included his lawyer and had a picture of her kids in text. That was bad.
I remember that.

Speaker 1 He is a bad guy for that shit. There's some bad things he's done, but I think this list actually proves his point that when they try to get him for farting on a doctor,

Speaker 1 the media has run amok.

Speaker 3 He also, you remember the video when he got released from the Raiders? Yeah. That was an altimer.

Speaker 1 This, yeah, I think this actually now threw a bag of gummy candy dicks at the cops in a video he posted. I forgot about that.
Got dropped by his agent. Oh, man.
That's tough.

Speaker 1 Well, actually, if your is all over the place.

Speaker 3 If you're the best wide receiver in the NFL and Drew Rosenhaus is like, I can't work with you, that's probably the biggest indictment.

Speaker 1 Here's another one. Rumors spread about A.B.
signing with Tampa or Seattle.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 And he did eventually get to Tampa.

Speaker 3 He got traded in the Bill

Speaker 1 Hours scorned lover list of all time where they just didn't. They buried the actual sexual assault and all this actual bad stuff to past

Speaker 1 like the soup, the guy making soup with the fish head. All right, so Antonio Brown.

Speaker 3 He also, he called Mike Mayok a cracker.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he did. Yes, he did.
He tried to fight Mike Mayok. Yeah, that should be on here.
He was on Madden cover. Madden 19.
He was? RIP. Wow.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, called out Robert Kraft for his rub and tug session in Florida. That is quite a crime.
That's the real crime.

Speaker 3 I wish Hank was here to defend that.

Speaker 1 Started training for a boxing match with Logan Paul. That's cool.
Also,

Speaker 1 his wife, NFL fans are the best. Like that dude, the Cowboys guy who brings a puppet to the game.
Like,

Speaker 1 NFL fans are just, they've all lost their minds. And I consider myself in that lost their mind crew where this just tickles me to no end.

Speaker 3 Speaking of the Paul Brothers, did you see that Jake Paul wants to play safety in the NFL? Yeah.

Speaker 3 And his whole explanation behind it is like, I guarantee you, my ratings would be through the roof with the league. That's what we're going towards these days.

Speaker 3 It's just like the Paul brothers are just influencers. getting to do whatever sport that they want.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and then Logan Paul made a coffee table out of Game Boys and everyone flipped out. They're like, how could you waste those Game Boy's? Who the fuck is playing Game Boy?

Speaker 1 It's like that Game Boy came out 20 years ago. Does anyone like, man, I really wish I could find a Game Boy right now.
Right.

Speaker 3 If it was Nintendo Switches, I'd be like,

Speaker 1 oh, come on, dude. Give those to a kid for Christmas.
Game Boy.

Speaker 1 If you gave a Game Boy to a kid, like a five-year-old kid right now and like, here, play Tetris, they'd throw that thing in your fucking face.

Speaker 1 That's not a video game.

Speaker 3 They'd go to judge and be like, I need to be emancipated for my dad because he's poor.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they'd be like, why are you making me go to school? Yeah. Like, Testris is basically school.

Speaker 3 I actually think that a coffee table made out of Game Boys is the perfect use for Game Boy's. Yeah.
That's awesome.

Speaker 1 I love, oh man, I loved fucking Game Boy. I loved Game Boy.
All right.

Speaker 1 Billy, you go.

Speaker 4 My hot seat is Dabo Swinney for a promo in the Cheez-It Bowl. They're posing in front of the trophy, you know, showing off their new team apparel.

Speaker 4 And the Clemson team apparel just looks like a prison jumpsuit. Yeah.
Orange prison jumpsuit. It looks like a cream skull.

Speaker 1 When jumpsuit January goes bad.

Speaker 4 Exactly. Looks like a Cheez-It.
It's not January yet.

Speaker 3 It also makes you look more orange when you're wearing all orange. I've noticed that.

Speaker 4 My original hot seat, but now is with my cool throne, is Big Cat's Pinky. Yeah.
Earlier today, we heard that Carson Wentz was going to be on the COVID list.

Speaker 4 Before the rule change, this puts Sam Ellinger as the noted starter for Sunday's game against the Raiders.

Speaker 4 Unfortunately, because of the NFL rule change, Sam Ellinger will not be starting, meaning that his historic Super Bowl run, which I was hoping was going to happen with Sam Ellinger stepping in and taking the Colts to the next level to win the Super Bowl, will not happen.

Speaker 3 I knew it was bad when they were on the bottom line, the crawl that was going across every channel, it was just calling him

Speaker 3 presumptive starter, Sam Ellinger.

Speaker 3 If he was actually going to start, I feel like they just would have been like, Sam is going to start the game. But it was like,

Speaker 3 I guess we're going to do the Sam Ellinger thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I've seen some people being like, you're not actually going to to do it. First of all, it's the tip, my pinky.
It's the nail up. Second of all, it's essentially like a tattoo.

Speaker 1 Like, I'd have a story for the rest of my life. Like, why are you missing the nub of your, why do you have the tip of your pinky gone? Well, the Colts started 0-3 in 2021 and they won the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 It will suck, but I will do it. There's a nail up?

Speaker 3 That's nothing.

Speaker 3 They got to raise your pinky, the tip of your pinky, to the rafters.

Speaker 3 They have that AFC finalist band.

Speaker 1 No, I'll wear it as a necklace. Fuck that.
Put it in a little formeldehyde.

Speaker 4 There's a lot of guys with that niche.

Speaker 1 Like jaws. Right.
And people.

Speaker 1 Like, if you see someone with a nub, you automatically, like, oh, what happened, dude?

Speaker 3 You got to start shaking hands with your left hand.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's not as cool as saying, like, oh, I was, you know, manual labor. I got bit by a shark.

Speaker 1 It's, I'm a fucking idiot, and I have shit for brains, and I didn't think Carson Wentz could ever win a Super Bowl. A little bit of a different story, but still a story.

Speaker 3 It's still not going to happen. I'm convinced that the Colts,

Speaker 3 they're a nice team, but I don't see them getting past the second round.

Speaker 1 Here's what will make me really nervous: if the Titans somehow lose their last two games and the Colts win the AFC South.

Speaker 1 If the Colts win the AFC South and get a home playoff game to start, and they only have to, Carson Wentz only has to win twice on the road to get to the Super Bowl, that will make me officially nervous.

Speaker 1 If they have to win three, like right now,

Speaker 1 I think they would maybe play, I think it would be a pretty tough game to start the playoffs because they would be the wild card. So that makes me feel a a little bit better knowing that.

Speaker 1 Right now, they're the five, they'd be at Buffalo, which is what it was last year. Right.
So, I don't know.

Speaker 1 I mean, obviously, they kicked the shit out of Buffalo at Buffalo, but having to go play at Buffalo, then at Casey,

Speaker 1 that's a lot.

Speaker 3 I'm talking myself into that not happening.

Speaker 1 I don't think so. But I definitely, it is the most nervous I've been since the original year where the Texans won nine in a row and got to the playoffs.

Speaker 3 We also need to start having a conversation about realignment in the NFL. Like, what are the Colts doing in the South?

Speaker 1 Yeah, but what are the Cowboys doing in the East? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Why is they should replace Indianapolis?

Speaker 3 Indianapolis should go to the West, and then Denver should be in the South.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 The Bissonet

Speaker 1 divisions. All right.

Speaker 1 Billy, is that it?

Speaker 4 Also, Dana White, he challenged, speaking of the Paul brothers, he challenged Jake Paul to, Jake Paul called him a Cokehead, and Dana White said, I will exchange one random steroid test on you for 10 years of cocaine tests on me.

Speaker 3 Yeah, because he doesn't have hair that they can cut out.

Speaker 3 That's how they test Coke.

Speaker 4 Also, Coke gets out of your system in like two days. Dana White

Speaker 3 White is the smoothest man in the history of the planet. I don't think that he has any follicles that you can check.

Speaker 1 They're also so rich, they're doing drugs that you can't test for.

Speaker 3 Exactly. They've got the limitless pills.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. Exactly.
I'm not worried about that. Jake.
My hot seat is Shad Khan, the owner of the Jaguars.

Speaker 1 It was announced that they are keeping their GM, and Jags fans are now changing their Twitter avatars to clown faces with Khan's mustache.

Speaker 1 It is. So

Speaker 1 Tony Khan is a friend of the program. I have seen a lot of the clown.
Uncle Chaps did that. He made his avatar a clown.

Speaker 1 The Jaguars, and this goes for the Giants as well, I do not understand teams that don't flush it all out. Like if you...

Speaker 1 If you're going to have your GM be kind of there, but also then you're going to hire a coach and like your GM you're already nervous about or like the Giants have done or the the Bears are thinking about keeping pace, but firing Nagy.

Speaker 1 Like, if your team is an abject failure, just flush the fucking thing out.

Speaker 3 It's kind of like being alcoholic and saying, I'm going to switch to beer

Speaker 3 because whiskey makes me fight and stab people. So, just the lagers from now on, I'll be fine.

Speaker 3 You should clean house, like the whole Bill Parcels thing, change the carpets, change everything about the place, bring people in. But I will say that

Speaker 3 when it comes to ownership,

Speaker 3 I would commit murder to have Shad Khan be the owner of the football team instead of Dan Snyder. It could get a lot worse.
I don't think, and to clarify, I would murder Dan Snyder.

Speaker 1 No one else.

Speaker 3 But I don't think that it's fair to put this on Khan because, yeah, maybe he should probably think about somebody else besides Balky because Balky is the guy that hired Urban Meyer.

Speaker 1 Well, and also Balky is, that was a spite pairing against Jim Harbaugh. It was Urban Meyer and Balky.

Speaker 1 Balky remember had a big falling out with Jim Harbaugh in San Francisco, so it felt like a big F you to him. It's It's falling apart.
Jim Harbaugh's in the college football playoff.

Speaker 1 Maybe get rid of the spike. Maybe it's bad karma.
I'd go off karma. I would own a team off karma.
Like, I would definitely make moves like, hey, the karma's not working here.

Speaker 1 Like, Michigan's gotten better, and Urban Meyer and Ohio State and Trent Balky have gotten worse. We've got to get something else going on here.
Yeah,

Speaker 3 I don't hate. I think that Shad Khan's fine.
He's not the problem. He's not the problem in Jacksonville.
We'll see who they hire this time. They just need to figure out a way to not blow it.

Speaker 3 The only way that they could make it as bad as Urban Meyer, if they try to do the same thing again, if they bring in, if they try to go after Dabo, and then you're like, wait, you really haven't learned anything whatsoever.

Speaker 1 No, I think they're going to Byron Lefwich would make sense.

Speaker 3 Left which,

Speaker 1 I think Doug Peterson, like Doug Peterson would be great.

Speaker 3 He was a good coach for a long time in Philadelphia.

Speaker 1 Won a Super Bowl.

Speaker 3 You got to watch the football team to the playoffs last year.

Speaker 1 It actually is crazy to like when you say Doug Peterson won a Super Bowl in Philly like four years or five years ago. He just doesn't have a job right now.
Yeah. It's a weird thing.

Speaker 3 And also Caldwell, Jim Caldwell. Yep.
The guy took the Lions to the playoffs twice, I think.

Speaker 1 He's basically a wizard.

Speaker 3 He's basically a wizard. Yeah, Kellen.
Well, that's going to be funny because they're going to interview Kellen Moore and Dan Quinn.

Speaker 1 And Dan Quinn.

Speaker 3 So they're going to go back to the whole like Gus Bradley. We're going to get a former Pete Carroll defense coordinator, bald head, goatee.
Right. Got it.
Dan Quinn's coming.

Speaker 3 Jerry Jones might fire Mike McCarthy before the end of the season,

Speaker 3 even if they're still in the playoffs. If the Jaguars tell Kellen Moore, like, we want to hire you right now to be your next head coach, Jerry Jones might be like, see you later, Mike.

Speaker 3 We're riding with Kellen from this point on.

Speaker 1 Yes. All right, your cool throne? Cool throne is Squid Game.
Looks like we're going to get two more seasons of that. I don't know if it'll hit the same like we saw with Tiger King.

Speaker 1 They had second season. I haven't watched the first season.
I have to still watch it.

Speaker 3 I'm going to hear about it, so we'll see if it picks up track. Squid game is

Speaker 3 good.

Speaker 3 It's a good program.

Speaker 1 It's on my list of things to watch after football season. Yeah.
I just don't have time.

Speaker 4 It hit during cuffing season, so that's why I think it's had that Tiger King cult feel.

Speaker 3 Wait, what do you think cuffing season is?

Speaker 4 No, that's like Netflix and chill. It's getting cold.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but what's not...

Speaker 3 When is cuffing season? That's not.

Speaker 4 When it starts to get cold.

Speaker 1 No. Didn't it come out in September? Yeah, that's when it's starting to get cold.
No, that's... No.
No. Cuffing season starts right now.

Speaker 3 Cuffing season starts when football season's over and guys are like, okay, I can pretend to be emotionally available till March Madness.

Speaker 1 Cuffing season begins in October, lasts until just after Valentine's.

Speaker 1 And when did.

Speaker 1 I think that's too early for cuffing season. It is too early.

Speaker 1 When did Squid Game come out?

Speaker 4 Squid Game was, I think, September 17th.

Speaker 3 But that's not when it got popular.

Speaker 1 Yes, it is. That's not when it comes immediately popular.
When is cuffing season actually start? If it starts October 1st, that's wrong.

Speaker 3 It's an overnight setting.

Speaker 1 It begins in October 1st. October 1st is still summer.

Speaker 3 That's not cuffing season. No, no, no.

Speaker 3 As far as I'm concerned, cuffing season starts January.

Speaker 1 I think cuffing season starts right about now, like right between Thanksgiving and December. And Christmas.

Speaker 3 The person you kiss on New Year's Eve leads to the cuff.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. And you maybe kissed them beforehand.
You're really, that's when you kiss and you're like, that was magical.

Speaker 3 I actually want to know if you fucked them and now you kissed them. Is anybody out there?

Speaker 3 Are you in a long-term relationship or married to a person that you kissed for the very first time when the ball dropped on New Year's Eve?

Speaker 1 That's magical. Absolutely.

Speaker 3 One day when I have kids, I'm going to tell them that's

Speaker 3 the first time your mom and I kissed. Absolutely.
I'm just going to make up a lie.

Speaker 1 That absolutely has happened.

Speaker 1 And then every year, it's just as good as the first time. Yep.
Right on New Year's.

Speaker 1 Okay, except for when there's college football playoffs that steal all of our New Year's.

Speaker 1 All right, let's get to Jim McAlwing, coach of Central Michigan.

Speaker 1 Obviously, we taped this before the bowl game got canceled, so we're excited to talk about the matchup with Boise State and the Arizona Bowl.

Speaker 1 That will sound funny listening to, but great interview with a big-time football guy who's been in football for a very, very long time.

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Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is Coach Jim McElwain, head coach coach of Central Michigan, Fire Up Chips.
They are in the Barstool Sports Arizona Bowl.

Speaker 1 We're going to run this the day before the bowl game, so tomorrow, tune in. It's going to be great.
Coach, very happy to have you on. Let's start with the bowl game.

Speaker 1 How are we feeling about the matchup with Boise? And

Speaker 1 are you excited, personally excited, to be in the first ever Barstool Sports Arizona bowl game?

Speaker 8 I got to tell you,

Speaker 8 when we got it announced to us, the energy in our team room.

Speaker 8 You know, we were having dinner and the kids, the coaches, I mean, just to be part.

Speaker 8 Look, we're all fans. I mean, we love what you guys do.
And,

Speaker 8 you know, for us to be able to go out there and be a part of it, man, we're really excited.

Speaker 1 Yes, absolutely. I'm very, very pumped.

Speaker 1 I love your team, by the way. I love watching Central Michigan.

Speaker 1 Daniel Richardson's, I actually made a tweet that was maybe not kind because when he first came onto the scene, I was like, I love this short, fat quarterback. He's not fat.

Speaker 1 He told me he's not fat, but he just bombs it. He bombs it, and I love how he plays.

Speaker 8 You know what?

Speaker 8 He is to see his progress and the way he's come. And like I said, you know,

Speaker 8 he delivers the ball and he's very catchable. And he's got a great understanding of the game and handles the RPO game as well as

Speaker 8 I see a guy do it. And

Speaker 8 I'm just proud of him and just to see his growth. And he's a great leader.
So he's fun to have on this team.

Speaker 3 Yeah, we're excited to have you guys in this bowl game. It's going to be awesome.
I was actually, I was doing some research on you.

Speaker 3 And by research, I mean I looked at your Wikipedia page and there was a very fun fact on there that I want to dive in with you real quick on.

Speaker 3 It says that you were roommates with Colin Coward when you were in college.

Speaker 1 Colin, yeah.

Speaker 1 Is that true? Well, we weren't technically roommates.

Speaker 8 We hung out at the same, you know, at the same time doing the same stuff. In fact, I didn't know whether he ever went to class because, I mean, every day you'd go up to the,

Speaker 8 you know, gym rat, you know, playing shoot, playing basketball. I think he was in there every single hour that the place was open.
But

Speaker 8 no, we, we.

Speaker 8 got to know each other and obviously he's had an unbelievable career and and uh man he's he's a a lot of fun to listen to, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, do you ever recall him eating soup ever?

Speaker 3 Because he always talks about how much soup he eats, but I don't actually think that he's a brothhead.

Speaker 8 But at Eastern Washington, it probably wasn't about the soup as much as it was to get the cheap beer. You know, I mean, that's kind of, that was really our deal.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes, absolutely. So,

Speaker 1 you know, I think a lot of people remember you coaching at Florida because big-time program. Central Michigan, in my opinion, is also a big-time program.

Speaker 1 But I I want to talk about your time at Central Michigan. You inherited a 1-11 team, and then the next year you turn them around, you get to the MAC championship, you win the MAC West.

Speaker 1 I know this sounds stupid, but how do you do that? Like, is it just culture? Is it, you know, because we see it all the time, and it always impresses me.

Speaker 1 Guys who are able to come into a bad situation and get results almost instantly with not a huge change of roster and talent.

Speaker 8 Yeah, no, you know, I mean, it's

Speaker 8 a lot to do with who you surround yourself with. I've been fortunate at all our stops to have great staff,

Speaker 8 people, everybody on the same page. And the most important thing is the kids know we really care about.
And I think that's probably from day one walking in here.

Speaker 8 Same thing we did at Colorado State, same thing we did at Florida.

Speaker 3 was,

Speaker 8 you know, they've got to feel it. They've got to know that you're there for them.
and

Speaker 8 i think probably a knock on me is

Speaker 8 i am a player's coach i i

Speaker 8 i just love these kids i love to see them be successful and do everything we can to help them so um but i think that was a big piece man that was part of the buy-in when we got here and and quite honestly i think they were a little embarrassed you know from the year before so uh credit those kids for stepping up and building the program into you know we've got a pretty good thing going on here yeah when you say that you're a player's coach, do you anything like, uh, do you have any unusual motivational tactics or do you do like a turnover chain type thing or dive into that a little bit?

Speaker 8 You know, I haven't,

Speaker 8 I haven't bought into that stuff. You know, I'm still trying to figure out how to use my iPhone.
So, you know, all that kind of stuff, I, I, I'm not real big on. Um,

Speaker 8 but I think the things that we do for them, you know, that that um

Speaker 8 and we and we listen, you know, we i meet with everybody on on the team, you know, four times a year, just one-on-one, just to get to know them, you know, and find out about what makes them tick. And

Speaker 8 the biggest piece there, I think, is listening, you know, and

Speaker 8 they know they can always walk in this office and I'll be here for them. And that's kind of been every my career all along, you know.

Speaker 8 You know,

Speaker 8 you get into this business, you get in it for the kids and just to see them, and now being in it 34, 35 years, whatever it is,

Speaker 8 now seeing kids you coached have kids, you know, and use some of the same phrases that you did when you were coaching them with their own kids.

Speaker 8 It's pretty awesome.

Speaker 1 Okay, another spot you had in your coaching, like you said, 35 years was with Alabama under Nick Sabin. And so I wanted to ask you this because it's a little different now.

Speaker 1 This seems like every coach just goes through the wash at Alabama. You were there from the beginning, and

Speaker 1 Coach Sabin said a couple weeks ago that, you know, the fans were happy when they won a game at the beginning. Now they're not happy with winning SEC titles and being successful 11 wins every year.

Speaker 1 What was it like in the beginning at Alabama for a guy like Sabin to change that around and to turn that around? And what are the program recipes that he puts in to make them a monster?

Speaker 8 Well, I mean, to start with, I mean,

Speaker 8 look, arguably the greatest ever in what he does and what he's been able to do. I learned so much.
His detail is incredible. And he never sits the same.

Speaker 8 You know, it's always, you're always doing something new. You're always getting better, right?

Speaker 8 He's a firm believer in, you know,

Speaker 8 you can't stay the same. You're either getting better or getting worse, right?

Speaker 8 And for him and the program, what they did and allowed him to do from the get-go, I think, as an administration and a university, is they cut him loose, you know, and let him go do his job.

Speaker 8 And, you know, that it's a testament to what he's been able to do. But I got to tell you, I learned so much from him.
And it was.

Speaker 8 A very simple message he gave all of us was: look,

Speaker 8 all I want you to do is work hard and be complete in what you do.

Speaker 8 You know, and if we all kind of did that, then we all have a pretty good chance of being successful.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Did he ever chew you out like some of the famous, you know, Lane Kiffin,

Speaker 1 any of those moments where he gave it to you, maybe on the sideline or in practice?

Speaker 8 Well, I think there were probably more than a couple,

Speaker 8 but it usually had to do with,

Speaker 8 you know, maybe when we

Speaker 8 did some good things offensively against his defense, you know,

Speaker 8 you know, but no, he, he, uh,

Speaker 8 he, and it was never, and if he ever does that, I mean, it's not personal, you know, I mean, that some guys,

Speaker 8 you know, like, you know, I'm getting at?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 8 I mean, it, it's, and, and probably well deserved, you know, when it does happen. But,

Speaker 8 you know, his competitive nature, man, he is one of the most competitive guys you'll ever be around.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's like when you're up 40 to 14 against Tennessee in the fourth quarter and there's a false start, and then he just rips into one of the coaches on the sidelines.

Speaker 3 That's the stuff that we laugh at a little bit on TV because it's like, relax, man, you win by 30 points. You're going to, everything will be fine.

Speaker 3 But that's, I guess, what makes him such a great coach is he doesn't care and he just wants excellence, right?

Speaker 8 Well, and that's right. And, and it isn't,

Speaker 8 you know, it's about the personal performance and how you perform. And,

Speaker 8 you know, I just got to tell you, man, he's a great guy to be around.

Speaker 8 He's actually a lot more fun than maybe he comes across. And

Speaker 8 there are no surprises. I think that's what was great working with him.
You know, there was never a, you know, a surprise. You knew exactly the plan and what was next.
And,

Speaker 8 you know, I get a real kick out of how he evolves, you know, with the game. I think you see it over and over again.
So,

Speaker 8 and

Speaker 8 he always has a plan to get the program better, whether it's in facilities, whether it's in

Speaker 8 mental conditioning coaches, whether it's in, you know, there's always

Speaker 8 something that is new that he does, and he's able to keep it fresh.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 And you stopped by Michigan for a little bit with our friend Coach Harbaugh, all-time football guy there.

Speaker 3 And we actually had Frank Gore on the show a couple weeks ago, and he was talking to us about how when Coach Harbaugh Harbaugh was in San Francisco, he would still take some reps sometimes at quarterback.

Speaker 3 And so you're the wide receiver coach at Michigan. Did he ever get some like one-on-one work with your guys? He's like, let me see if the arm still got it.

Speaker 8 You know what? He would, and he can still sling it now.

Speaker 8 Every now and then he'll go out and he'll throw some routes and

Speaker 8 do that kind of stuff.

Speaker 8 You talk about another really, really good dude. I mean, he is really a good dude.

Speaker 1 I got one last saving question. So the famous stat that we would see every single time he'd go up against a former assistant of his finally got broken this year when Jimbo beat him.

Speaker 1 Did you reach out to Jimbo and you're like, thanks, thank you.

Speaker 1 I appreciate that because I was sick of my name being up on ESPN every year, like three times a year, whenever he went up against an assistant and beat him.

Speaker 8 Yeah, you know,

Speaker 8 the first time he beat us, you know, I took a Colorado state team in there, and I think we might have been a little overmatched.

Speaker 8 No,

Speaker 8 I tell you what it is. I think that's really a credit to him, you know, to coach.
And you look at the tree that he's produced.

Speaker 8 Pretty impressive, you know, a lot of guys out there.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. So you spent some time with our good friend Caleb.

Speaker 1 That video is going to be coming out. Probably the same time that this show comes out.

Speaker 1 So can we talk about it? Because it sounds like you actually, I talked to Caleb. He says that you had some good fun with it.
And I think that we can finally put it to rest.

Speaker 1 If you don't know what I'm talking about, it's the famous shark photo that was not Jim McIlwain, but people accused him of it being Jim McElwain.

Speaker 1 It was basically like a message board run wild internet story. Now, when that happened, when you first saw it, was there a small part of you that was like, wait, is that me?

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 8 you know, I mean, I actually was kind of like, wow, this guy does look like me, right?

Speaker 8 And And

Speaker 8 so, you know, to meet the actual person and to hear the story behind it,

Speaker 8 you know, it actually,

Speaker 8 so, you know, I grew up in Montana. You know, it's all about busting guys' chops.
I mean, that's, that's what you do every day. And,

Speaker 8 you know, I thought it was actually pretty hilarious myself. And then it started to take that life.
And when. when PETA starts coming after your ass, right? You got to be a little careful.

Speaker 3 Peter should have been happy with you.

Speaker 3 It looked like that person was having a great time with the shark

Speaker 3 i in a situation like that i imagine it probably took a few minutes to have it truly sink into you like exactly what was going on and why people were talking that's not something that's in any media you know any media prep sheet or you don't have any training on how to deal with a situation like that it must have felt like it was a just a weird dream that you were living in for a couple days there Yeah, you know, the hard part was, was it isn't, you know, it wasn't on me, you know, as much as, you know, my kids and my family you know my you know that kind of deal where you know they're having to answer questions like

Speaker 1 you know and that that I was that then I started scratching my head a little bit when it affects you know the the people around you yeah well and I think everyone should go watch the video because I talked to Caleb before we did this interview and I think that you handled it perfectly and it's like one of those things that you know when you can laugh at yourself and be like this is ridiculous and Caleb got the actual guy and and reunited the two of you, which is an all-time internet.

Speaker 1 Like, it's a perfect ending to an internet story.

Speaker 8 Sure, absolutely. You know,

Speaker 8 you get stuff like that. And I guess, you know, whatever, Deadspin or whatever, you know, people like that.

Speaker 8 But when like mainstream media started to kind of get behind it, I was sitting there going, now wait a minute.

Speaker 1 And you have to answer to it? Yes. It's like PFT said.
It's not really, you don't learn that.

Speaker 1 I don't think any of your mentors at any point were like, all right, well, if there's ever a picture of a guy humping a shark that looks like you, here's what you do.

Speaker 8 Here's the booklet. Yeah.

Speaker 8 No, there was no game plan on that at all.

Speaker 3 I feel like that might have been a Nick Sabins special. He was just trying to get under your skin.
He's like, I know how I can deal with this guy.

Speaker 8 That's exactly right. But

Speaker 1 no,

Speaker 8 I tell you what, it was a cool deal. And, you know, to meet the guy, because I, you know, people had said, you know, the New York, you know, former cop and all that kind of stuff.

Speaker 8 And to actually meet him in person and take a picture with him.

Speaker 1 Incredible.

Speaker 8 I was like, man, this is pretty cool. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. So I got to ask one other photo that I need an answer to.

Speaker 1 And you might not remember this one, but when you got hired at Florida and then they had you guys doing the SEC summer tour, you had one of the most hellacious sunburns I've ever seen on a person.

Speaker 1 And everyone was like, I don't know, does Coach McAway know the Florida sun is like pretty hot? It was, and you had like, it looked like you'd been wearing sunglasses too. And that was an all-timer.

Speaker 1 What happened there?

Speaker 8 Obviously, I spent too much time on the boat that day, right out in the lake at Flathead. That was probably what I did.
But

Speaker 8 that's like an every year occurrence for me. You know,

Speaker 8 you go ahead and fry yourself and then, you know,

Speaker 8 it all comes back.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And I would imagine that's, I mean,

Speaker 1 being part of the SEC, both as an assistant and a head coach, like it's got to be, it's just different, right? Like everything becomes a story.

Speaker 1 Every little thing that you do becomes this big media thing because people are so passionate about football and talking about it in the offseason.

Speaker 8 And yet, that's what's kind of cool about it.

Speaker 8 You know, I mean, yeah, there's, there's good and bad, but, but the one thing is the passion of the people in the South for the game of football and, you know, playing in those those stadiums,

Speaker 8 they really care about their teams. And

Speaker 8 that's kind of the neat part about being involved in it.

Speaker 1 And yet,

Speaker 8 like I said,

Speaker 8 they'll take whatever and run with it. There's no doubt about it.

Speaker 3 Yeah. And now it seems like you found a good home in central Michigan.
And I was reading that you now live in a barn.

Speaker 3 And we actually have somebody that is close to this show who's a barn living enthusiast. I think he spent, what, like a year in a barn.

Speaker 3 Do you have any tips for anyone who's maybe thinking about becoming a barn dweller?

Speaker 8 Well, I'll tell you what, I think whoever, I'm all about it, man.

Speaker 8 This is really cool. I mean, what they did here.

Speaker 8 The purpose behind it is, you know, in recruiting, what's your point of difference? Well, for us, it's selling our families and our togetherness.

Speaker 8 And this allows us a space now, bring recruits, bring the players, you know, all that kind of stuff. And

Speaker 8 it's actually,

Speaker 8 it's really cool.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 8 I'm glad we did it. I know that.
I think my wife was scratching her head maybe a little bit when, hey, this guy's going to build us a place to live in this barn, you know?

Speaker 8 And yet, she did a great job of helping design it.

Speaker 8 It's a place we go after games, obviously.

Speaker 8 We've been very fortunate to win a lot of home games here. So

Speaker 8 I think my dog, when we have, she knows whether we won or not. You know, it's based on the people count.

Speaker 3 Five in the barn. Yeah, so it sounds like it's a pretty nice barn as far as barns.
You're like doing the glamping, the glamor. You live the glamorous barn lifestyle.

Speaker 3 Is it like fully decked out, nice little meeting space? It's not what you think of, like there's no hay on the ground.

Speaker 8 No, no hay on the ground.

Speaker 1 No, no, not at all.

Speaker 8 It's it's it's uh

Speaker 8 it's a really cool cool place.

Speaker 8 I'll say that.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 8 when people come in and we're able to entertain and do things that way,

Speaker 8 it's a great spot for it.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I love to ask coaches and players what the hardest place to play is. And usually it's LSU at night or, you know, even the swamp or Columbus.

Speaker 1 I got to ask you, what's the hardest place to play in the Mac on a Tuesday night in November? Because that's maxion to me. And there's not a lot of fans, maybe.
You know,

Speaker 1 it might not be sold out. But what is the place that when you go, you're like, all right, we got this circle.
This one,

Speaker 1 it's going to be hairy.

Speaker 8 Yeah. You know, I'd have to say Western Michigan.

Speaker 8 You know, and that probably has to do with the rivalry and that kind of thing. And actually, we played them.

Speaker 8 There was actually a pretty good crowd for a weeknight there, you know, on that. I think a lot of people came out, but

Speaker 8 that would be one of the places, but uh,

Speaker 8 you know, I

Speaker 8 you say about like

Speaker 8 you know, tough places to play. I think one of the most underrated places

Speaker 8 that's a tough place to play is actually at the University of Montana in Missoula. Oh, yeah, let me tell you something.
Now, that that place

Speaker 8 25,000 people every game, and they are rabid, and it is loud.

Speaker 8 That one, I think, is a little unknown yeah you know i haven't been in all these other stadiums but that's as loud a place as you'll ever play i like that answer and you're montana guy through and through have you watched yellowstone yeah you know i i actually kind of started to because uh

Speaker 8 this latest one they they were doing uh season four

Speaker 8 they they filmed it in my hometown in missoula uh a lot of the shots in fact

Speaker 8 The latest episode where they shoot the guys in the diner, that's Ruby's right down the road from where I lived.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 8 so I kind of watch it for that.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Who's your favorite character?

Speaker 3 I'm a Beth guy.

Speaker 1 I like Beth.

Speaker 8 Yeah. I mean, she's

Speaker 8 a tough one, man. But I kind of like the rip guy, man.
I mean, he just kind of, he'll take,

Speaker 8 I like the guys that are kind of like.

Speaker 8 They handle things, right?

Speaker 8 And no questions asked. Yeah.
That kind of guy like.

Speaker 3 Yeah, he'll roll up on you with a cooler with a rattlesnake inside. That's pretty badass.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I haven't seen the show, so I'm just laughing along.

Speaker 3 I actually have a lot of questions about the rattlesnake in the cooler. Like, does he have a rattlesnake farm that he just goes to and he needs to kill somebody? How long had it been in that cooler?

Speaker 3 Did he just find the rattlesnake on his way to kill the guy? And then he's like, I can use this. I got a lot of outstanding questions about the rattlesnake.

Speaker 1 I'm going to watch the show. I'm going to watch the show.
It sounds like

Speaker 8 watch it for the scenery.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 8 Really, the reason probably I watch it more than anything is just because it's seeing home. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's right.
Where I grew up.

Speaker 8 And so, you know, the plot and all that,

Speaker 8 whatever. But the rest of it,

Speaker 8 that's what makes it.

Speaker 1 So I had two last questions. The first one was, we love football guys on this show.
We love guys that love football, but also find different ways to motivate their teams.

Speaker 1 You had a famous way when you went to Central Michigan that you had had a no-dead fish policy.

Speaker 1 You said, to quote you, you said, go ahead and walk by Kroger, take a look at the faces on those fish. If you come into the office like that, get the heck out.
There are no dead fish.

Speaker 1 I want guys with energy and excitement. So,

Speaker 1 did you ever have to kick a dead fish out?

Speaker 8 Absolutely. I mean,

Speaker 8 you don't want him around.

Speaker 8 I mean, it's like, and I tell him this story, like Winnie the Pooh, right? Who wants to be around Eeyore?

Speaker 8 The guy just makes you miserable, right?

Speaker 8 Look, life's way too short to be miserable. So,

Speaker 8 and you know, the whole dead fish thing, and this goes back, obviously, went to school to eastern Washington, recruited a lot on the coast there in Seattle.

Speaker 8 And when you see those guys throwing the fish, you know, the dead fish across the pike street market.

Speaker 8 And then you walk and you look at them and man, them fish are miserable, man.

Speaker 1 If you just think about it, right?

Speaker 8 They're dead and they got no energy, they're just dead. And there's nothing worse than that.

Speaker 1 Literally, there's nothing worse than that.

Speaker 3 So, what do you say to a guy if he's got dead fish energy? Are you just like, hey, fix the tude, come back and see me? You got a spark in your toss him out.

Speaker 1 Or what do you do?

Speaker 8 Well, thank God we're recruiting bigger players now. I can't lift them up and toss them.

Speaker 8 You know, maybe I could have when we were first here, but uh, no, we just, it's, it's, it goes back to kind of like, hey, what are you selling today? Right.

Speaker 8 And, you know, it's, we've got a policy here that when you enter the building, look, all I'm asking for is this time, right? And

Speaker 8 let's make the best of it. But most importantly, let's learn how we affect the people around us in a positive way.
And that's really what it's all about.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
All right. So my last question, and this is more not even a question.
Well, actually, you know, it is a question.

Speaker 1 So you, when you left Florida, like we said, the SEC is a tough place to coach. People come at you from all different angles.
Yeah, I remember.

Speaker 8 I had a great time. Yeah.

Speaker 8 I don't, no regrets. I mean, shoot, kid from Montana having an opportunity to coach at a storied place like that.
We've got great friends still from there.

Speaker 8 You know, just the disappointing things, you don't get an opportunity to finish it, you know, because we had some great recruiting classes and we were winning.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 8 but, you know.

Speaker 1 It's, yeah, the nature of the SEC. But I wanted to mention, so when you left, you sold your house and,

Speaker 1 you know, everyone made the joke because you sold it for a $400,000 loss. So, everyone's like, Oh, another loss for Jim McAwayne.

Speaker 1 Turns out you did it because uh, you were helping a family with two disabled children. So, I kind of just wanted to mention that.

Speaker 1 It's one of those stories, you know, we talk about all the other stuff, we make fun of coaches or we say something about a coach, and then we don't highlight the stuff that they do that maybe they're not doing for publicity because you didn't ask for publicity there.

Speaker 1 People busted you up about having taking another loss, but you did it for a family. How did that all come come about

Speaker 8 well we had met uh the family actually um through their you know our time there and

Speaker 8 they had been by the house a couple times and and you know they had mentioned that um just kind of the way it was set up you know it was maybe an opportunity you know for the kids uh

Speaker 8 and and actually give one you know one of the son maybe a little bit of freedom you know from that standpoint just the way it was set up. And, and

Speaker 8 it just made too much sense, you know? And, you know, there again, it's, it's all about giving.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 8 that, that's, that's kind of the way I was brought up. And that's what we've always done.
So, um,

Speaker 8 you know, not really that big a deal. It was an easy decision, right? Because you knew it was going to go.
to somebody that that needed it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Great story. And I love it.
Yeah. It's a great message.

Speaker 3 Coach, I've been been talking to a few football coaches over the years, trying to spread the gospel of the planned downfield lateral becoming more prevalent in football, college football and the NFL, because I actually think that it could change the game.

Speaker 3 I think that a coach that can implement smart, planned-out,

Speaker 3 almost rugby-style pitches on certain plays, you know, like kind of like you see it from time to time with a hook and ladder.

Speaker 1 Hook and ladder.

Speaker 3 But there are other ways that you can scheme open a receiver on a certain play to have a player taking an angle behind him, ready for the pitch that's not just the normal hook and ladder.

Speaker 3 And I've started to see it a little bit more, at least in the NFL. You saw the Jets do it last week.
The Chiefs have done it a few times.

Speaker 3 Is that something that you've ever considered putting into your playbook if you do it in a smart way to kind of

Speaker 3 limit the, to mitigate the risk that might be coming forward with the turnover off of it?

Speaker 8 Yeah, you know, I mean,

Speaker 8 some of that stuff actually can even happen just kind of spur of the moment. You know, you'll see, you a guy getting tackled and it's buddy behind him and, you know, flip it to him too.

Speaker 8 The design piece, probably not something that I have really kind of thought about from that standpoint.

Speaker 8 We obviously do the rugby part and a lot of our, we've got a couple of those in special teams, you know, that

Speaker 8 we use and we work on.

Speaker 8 And then a couple last plays that we work on with the same thing. But as far as implementing it, you know, in your day-to-day playbook, it's actually not a bad idea.

Speaker 8 In fact, as soon as I get off, I'm going into the offensive staff room right now. Let's go.

Speaker 1 I love it. Two nichols to Pimpleton.

Speaker 1 There you go.

Speaker 3 Tell them, go pull up some clips of the Fijian rugby team and watch how they offload the ball because the coach that figures out how to do it safely is going to change the game of football offensively.

Speaker 3 It's going to be, every other coach is going to have to play catch up to that guy, trying to figure out how they were able to implement it first.

Speaker 3 So, you know, baby steps in this, but I want to give you the opportunity to be a trailblazer.

Speaker 8 I love it. Baby steps.
One of the greatest, you know, what about Bob?

Speaker 1 Yes. Baby steps.

Speaker 8 One of the greatest ever.

Speaker 1 It really is. It really is.
I'm Dr.

Speaker 3 Leo Marvin.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, Dr.
Leo Marvin. Baby steps.

Speaker 1 Baby steps. All right.
Well, Coach, thank you so much. We'll see you in Arizona.
We're very excited.

Speaker 1 I'm on the call, so I got to be unbiased, but I do love Maxion. Let's just leave it at that.

Speaker 8 Well, I really appreciate you guys taking the time and just a total side note, and I think I've said it, but I just want to reiterate it.

Speaker 8 What Barstill did during the COVID time and what they did to generate money for these bar owners and restaurant owners and, you know, people in need.

Speaker 8 To me, that was awesome.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 8 And, you know, hats off to your guys' company, man, because that's pretty cool.

Speaker 3 We like to eat free drinks, so it was an easy choice to pay those people back. Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 There you go. Yes.
All right, Coach. Safe White to Arizona.
We'll see you soon.

Speaker 8 See you, guys. All right.

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Speaker 1 Okay, guys on checks, what do you got? What are you laughing about?

Speaker 3 I'm just laughing at the video that Billy texted the group chat. Antonio Brown continuously farting in front of his doctor.
It just seemed childish to me, Dr. Prisk said.

Speaker 3 I'm a doctor and this man is farting in my face. It's Antonio Brown getting electric stimulation on his body which is making his muscles twitching low

Speaker 3 bodybuilders

Speaker 1 oh my god that that is that should be on the list that's on the list all right guys on chicks then we're gonna do our weekend preview and picks which The drive to LA is going to really come down to it.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 TJ.

Speaker 1 Hey. Go ahead.

Speaker 6 Guys, my boyfriend and I have been dating for two years, and we recently moved in together.

Speaker 6 Everything has been fine up until recently when he sent me a meme relating to shitting on each other's chests. For the record, I think it was disgusting.

Speaker 6 While he said it was a joke, recently he's continued to bring it up, saying it would be so funny if he actually did it to me and will not let it go.

Speaker 6 I'm starting to think this is something he actually desires, and I'm becoming increasingly uncomfortable sharing a bed with him. What's my next step?

Speaker 3 I think it's more of a red flag that he's sending memes to you.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I feel like that's it.

Speaker 3 You don't send memes to somebody that you're in a relationship with.

Speaker 3 You steal the memes and then you verbally tell them to them when you're out to dinner so you sound funny.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what are you going to say, Billy? You absolutely send memes to people. Wait,

Speaker 1 you send funny tweets and stuff, yeah, and memes, yeah.

Speaker 3 No, you send like videos of dogs that are having a great time playing.

Speaker 1 No, I think you send funny. I send funny stuff, like tweets and shit, memes, yeah.

Speaker 3 No, you, at no point, at no point should you like screenshot a meme of the guy being like one does simp does not simply walk through hodor or whatever the fuck that guy says and like send that you don't send willy wonkas to somebody that that you're no not those memes but there's funny like memes that you'll see on the internet not shitting on people that one's weird but i absolutely think you share funny things you find on the internet with your partner absolutely all day i don't think i've ever i never want to see the impact font come across my my text thread you're a meme hater there's modern memes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're a meme hater. Yeah, you are.
You're living in the past with memes.

Speaker 3 To find a meme.

Speaker 1 There's modern memes. There's getting new memes every day.

Speaker 3 You send screenshots.

Speaker 1 It's not just crying Jordan and Willy Wonka. You send screenshots.
We literally have a guy. Name memes.
I love memes.

Speaker 3 That's totally different to be posting memes online.

Speaker 1 You're insulting memes as love language.

Speaker 3 All right, memes. Memes, are you there? I can't see behind my head.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Is there a meme?

Speaker 1 I know lies in the back of my head.

Speaker 3 Could you ever send a meme to a girl and be like, this meme is going to get her so wet? She's going to love this meme.

Speaker 1 I mean, it was funny enough. Yeah, you're also not like trying to, it's not like trying to get it.
It's just funny things to.

Speaker 1 It's not all about always like, I want to try to get her wet. Like, it's just, hey, this is funny.
Let's laugh.

Speaker 3 That's where you and I differ.

Speaker 1 I guess so. It's, you know, just having a funny banter back and forth.

Speaker 3 No, but as for the shit on the chest, it's...

Speaker 3 I don't think he actually means it.

Speaker 1 I think he was trying to do a little trial balloon.

Speaker 3 Are there actually people out there that like shitting on other people's chests?

Speaker 1 Is it Odell?

Speaker 3 No, he likes getting shit on. Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 1 Well, then I assume the person that he finds probably likes shit on him.

Speaker 3 I think they're just like, I'll tolerate.

Speaker 1 Two to tango.

Speaker 3 I'll tolerate dating an all-pro wide receiver if it means that he'll crap on my Areolas every now and again.

Speaker 1 All right, next one.

Speaker 6 Hey, part of my take, crew. My boyfriend of almost three and a half years listens to your podcast every week and worships the ground you all walk on.
For this past year, Spotify rapped.

Speaker 6 His number one artist was Olivia Rodrigo, and his top three songs were by her two. Do you think I'm doing a good job as his girlfriend if all he listens to is depressing songs about breakups?

Speaker 6 Thanks, guys.

Speaker 1 Ooh. Sounds like he's in touch with some of those are bangers.
He's in touch with his father. I was going to say she rocks.
Yeah, like some of those are bangers.

Speaker 1 Like, you have to, I think you have to weed through it. Like, does this song rock no matter what is being said?

Speaker 1 Or is it like he's just listening to Taylor Swift over and over, being like, I can't wait till we break up where this actually hits me even more.

Speaker 3 Good for you is just a good song.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but there's, you know, there's a

Speaker 1 listen, I'm not going to judge because we spend way too much time thinking about football and sports and gambling and everything.

Speaker 1 But the equivalent of that is the females out there that light a candle every night and listen to Taylor Swift on repeat.

Speaker 3 I don't want to put this in your head. Kelly Keeges, I like you.

Speaker 1 Don't get mad at me.

Speaker 3 I don't want to put this in your head to the person that wrote in, but

Speaker 3 there's another possibility here that he might share a Spotify account with a girl. Yeah.
And it's invaded his most listened-to-sex girlfriend? Because

Speaker 3 somehow my account got linked up like four years ago with a guy that lives in El Salvador and listens to nothing but El Salvadorian music.

Speaker 3 And so in my Recommended For You playlist, always one of them is just a bunch of songs by Central American artists. And it always, it confused.
I have no idea how it happened, but

Speaker 3 we might be looking at a similar situation.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I hope not.
You're right.

Speaker 3 But just put the screws to them a little bit.

Speaker 1 Memes, next next one.

Speaker 6 My boyfriend ruins the moment when he has to go pee before sex every time.

Speaker 1 He says he needs to empty his pipe before using it.

Speaker 1 He's jacking up.

Speaker 1 He's jerking off because he's a two-pump chomp. Yeah.

Speaker 3 He's firing off a warning shot. Yeah.

Speaker 6 I get turned off and shut him down when he comes back from the bathroom every time.

Speaker 1 Any advice?

Speaker 1 Roman swipes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Roman swipes. Actually, good call, Billy.

Speaker 3 Roman swipes. Yeah, just don't let him drink water.

Speaker 1 Yeah, or just be like, hey,

Speaker 1 instead of jerking off in the toilet, why don't I just jerk you off and then I'll fuck your limp noodle. We'll just put sexier.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, sorry, but this guy needs to just offer up Roman swipes.

Speaker 3 Well, it sounds like he's not even lying about it.

Speaker 1 Well, he is. He's saying he's peeing.

Speaker 3 No, he says he's got to go empty the pipes. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That was the exact phrasing? Yes,

Speaker 3 I think that she's just misinterpreting it. Yeah.

Speaker 6 My husband and I are expecting our first child in two weeks, and it's a girl.

Speaker 6 Considering my husband has used the ultrasound measurements to calculate which sport she will likely excel the most in, while also praying she doesn't arrive on a Sunday, we could use all the help over here.

Speaker 6 Dad Cat, any advice on what you would give to a soon-be girl dad?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, it is very funny, like thinking, I think that it's the macho thing before you have a kid where you're like, oh, I can't wait to teach my son or my daughter to play this sport, or I'm going to tie their hand behind their back, have them be a lefty.

Speaker 1 And then they arrive, and you're like, I just want them to be healthy. And also,

Speaker 1 given my personal genetics, I don't know this person, like, there is a 0% chance either of my kids play any type of sport at a high level. So,

Speaker 1 let's be honest with ourselves here. Like, my son just started learning how to shoot in the little Tykes, you know, basketball hoop.

Speaker 1 He sucks at it, and he probably will suck forever, and that's okay, because I fucking love the kid.

Speaker 3 It really speaks to what most guys are like before they have kids. Yes.
That we're only able able to think of things in terms of sports. Yeah.

Speaker 3 So if we see a bit, it doesn't matter that it's your kid and then it's on an ultrasound and it's going to be a real person that you'll get to meet in a couple weeks.

Speaker 3 Our brains are just wired to be like, look at those hamstrings. She's a sprinter.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Or like you're like when you're when you're hanging out with your boys in like college, you're like, oh, my kid's going to beat up your kids.

Speaker 1 Like, now that we all have kids, I would never want my kid to get hurt under any circumstances. So no thank you.
On behalf of him.

Speaker 3 Look at the neck on this kid. We got a future take you with Spikes.

Speaker 1 Did you see that tweet of that woman who has like a seven-year-old who did a Ruth Conda forever?

Speaker 3 Yeah, that was a great one.

Speaker 1 It's like my kid said, it's so unfair that my whole childhood is going to be coronavirus.

Speaker 1 Now that I have children, all those tweets are even funnier.

Speaker 1 Obviously, a seven-year-old and a two-and-a-half-year-old are very different, but I don't think my child is ever going to be bringing up those type of topics to me.

Speaker 3 She said, allegedly,

Speaker 3 I've had a corona childhood. Does that mean I'm going to have a coronavirus life? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yes. I mean, that's a very insightful seven-year-old.

Speaker 1 Like, yes.

Speaker 3 I just, I like to imagine that seven-year-old doesn't even exist. It's just a lady had a psychotic break online.
Well, I think

Speaker 3 a family.

Speaker 1 I think there's like a whole corner of the internet where all these people like to trade these stories to make themselves feel like great parents because they're like, look how smart my kid is.

Speaker 1 Because I went to that woman's Twitter feed and she had also retweeted someone saying, I turned to my five-year-old today and said, I wish we could just lay lay in bed and snuggle all day.

Speaker 1 And my five-year-old said, You would get dehydrated. Like, what?

Speaker 1 What kids are you raising? That's what they think about. That's weird.
That's really weird.

Speaker 3 That's very, but that would be a great pickup line for somebody to use in an actual relationship.

Speaker 1 My son, all he does is he says, He says, I need, he says, I need park. He needs to go to the park.
He's like, I need, I need to go to the park. I think I need cars.

Speaker 3 I'm going to invent a

Speaker 3 fake child for myself who's actually going to be the opposite. Who's going to be the dumbest kid ever online?

Speaker 1 Well, it'll just be a kid.

Speaker 3 Well, I'm going to make up stupid shit that they say. They're actively wrong about everything.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's going to be a good bit. All right.

Speaker 1 Any more? That's it?

Speaker 1 One last one.

Speaker 1 Hi, Cat, Poof, and Honk.

Speaker 6 This sounds weird, but it's actually true.

Speaker 1 Oh, Hank's not here because he got bullied by Bills fans. This sounds weird, but it's actually true.
Trend it to us, by the way, because Hank asked us not to say any

Speaker 1 V-word shaming, which we haven't done.

Speaker 3 No, I'm very happy that Hank has been.

Speaker 1 We just said that Bills fans have bullied him off Twitter, which will make him equally as mad.

Speaker 1 But we followed his rules.

Speaker 3 Every Bills fan out there, send a nice tweet to Hank today.

Speaker 1 Tomorrow morning. When you hear this.

Speaker 3 Yeah, send him a nice tweet. Very, very nice.

Speaker 3 Maybe talk about how great the week 13 Super Bowl was. Yeah.

Speaker 6 This sounds weird, but it's actually true and seriously annoying.

Speaker 6 Every time my boyfriend and I have sex, it starts out great, but then my boyfriend uses a weird robot voice and says things like, mating sequence initiated and penis equals erect, ready for insertion.

Speaker 6 And it really gets me out of the mood. He says he's been doing it for years and I'm the only one who's ever had a problem with it.
How can I get him to stop or should I just let him keep going?

Speaker 6 Thanks.

Speaker 3 I think you got to go over the top with it. You got to be more robotic than he is.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Was it

Speaker 3 fucking doors are open?

Speaker 1 Was he fucking a robot before? I like this. This guy's got...
Listen,

Speaker 3 he's doing something different. It's not as cool as the guy that would call out audibles when he was trying to switch positions.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That guy would say, like, Omaha, Omaha.

Speaker 1 You should just, yeah, reverse it on him. You should be like powering down and like just go limp.

Speaker 1 Just a total reversal on the rope.

Speaker 3 Even the blue screen of death. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the red ring of death as well.

Speaker 3 That was Xbox. The Xbox.

Speaker 1 Xbox Red Ring of Death.

Speaker 1 Shout out to anyone who went through the Red Ring of Death and tried to do, like, there was this whole, there was this whole entire video that showed you how you could fix it and it was like a blow dryer and like some super glue and all these steps and you just essentially what happened was it was like a one percent chance you could fix it and a 99 chance you fucked up the warranty so you could never get like a new Xbox there were actually online communities that were built around the red screen of death message but it was a very active topic I'm sure Billy if you look up on the bodybuilding forums there's probably at least seven powerful threads on there about how to deal with the red screen.

Speaker 1 That was probably the worst thing that happened to me in like the year of 2005, I want to say, maybe. When did Xbox come out?

Speaker 3 That was before that, I think. Yeah, it might have been before.

Speaker 3 I had Xbox when I was a freshman in college. That's when we were playing.
That's when I truly fell in love with Madden. I used to always love playing it.

Speaker 1 But Madden 2004

Speaker 3 was probably the best video game of all time.

Speaker 1 Was that the first Xbox? No, but didn't the original one not have the ring? Yeah, at 360 was the

Speaker 1 2005. Yeah.
Yeah, it was at 360, Red Ring of Death.

Speaker 1 All right, should we do our picks? What are you going to say, Billy?

Speaker 4 I'm looking at this bodybuilding forum. My Xbox won't turn on.

Speaker 1 There we go. Red ring.
That's a big deal.

Speaker 3 What did they say? What did they say to do?

Speaker 1 I'm looking through the ball. Real ones.

Speaker 3 They just do. Red ring of death.
You got squad.

Speaker 1 Because I remember. You sent it off for a few weeks, right? Yeah, you sent it off.
It was like $99, which in college, that's a lot of money. And it was, I remember I just...

Speaker 1 It was almost essentially like breaking bad. We were like cooking meth in our apartment, trying to fix the Xbox.
the amount of tools and weird shit we had to do. And it didn't work.

Speaker 1 It literally was just meant. I think it was actually written by Xbox so that everyone would ruin their warranty and have to buy a new Xbox.

Speaker 1 All right. Give it up for Chicago.

Speaker 5 Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep

Speaker 1 coming.

Speaker 5 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right. Premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers.

Speaker 1 Terms apply.

Speaker 1 Let's do it. Picks.
Give us an update. So here's what we did this week.
We all texted memes

Speaker 1 our picks separately. And so he has all of our picks.
So there's no cheating, no issues with that. Hank will, memes will say Hank's picks out loud when we go around.
Jake, give us the breakdown.

Speaker 1 I think Liam's in the best spot, right? Liam is in the best spot. So PFT is two games up on Hank, who is a game

Speaker 1 and a half up on me.

Speaker 1 You're a half game behind me, so you're two games behind Hank. In second place.
Second place and last place are going.

Speaker 1 And then Liam is two and a half behind you, and he's two and a half up on Billy. So Liam is two and a half games separated from danger.
Everyone else is within two. Wow.
With eight left.

Speaker 3 So no you're in pretty good shape, big cat.

Speaker 1 You and Bubba. I would say Liam.
No, because if I cat, me. If Jake and I bust out like a three and one and Hank goes a one and three, we're in second place.

Speaker 3 Hank's too good of a gambler, though. But it's, it's, it's,

Speaker 1 this is a diabolical

Speaker 1 way to do this. And it's the.
What we wanted is happening. We've accomplished what we wanted, and that's that this is coming down to the end and everyone's can be fucked.

Speaker 1 Like, if Billy goes eight, no.

Speaker 1 New game. Well, Billy's not going to happen.
I think Billy needs to go at least 2-2 to have a heartbeat going into that. I think he's going to go 8-0.

Speaker 3 I think Billy's going to absolutely choke down the stretch and finish a resounding last place. Billy.
I think Billy's low-key pump.

Speaker 1 He'll let you go. I'm going to go to 8-no.

Speaker 3 Like, I'm low-key pumped for the trip. I think Billy's low-key pump for the trip.

Speaker 1 Billy, go ahead and go.

Speaker 4 I was thinking about it. Like, I could just go 2-2 both weeks, pick the overtime.

Speaker 1 No, but I'm not going to do it. Technically, I'm not going to do it this game.
I'm not going to do it.

Speaker 1 The whole point of doing this was it was supposed to be a punishment that we all didn't want to do.

Speaker 3 I didn't want to do it. I know.

Speaker 1 Now I want to do it.

Speaker 3 I don't think it's ruining it to simply admit the fact that cross-country road trip sounds like a good time for this right now.

Speaker 1 Cross-country road trip is fun, but it was supposed, like, you understand doing this for an entire season.

Speaker 1 I just flare into a positive mindset.

Speaker 1 I still very much don't want to do it. Yeah, go eight and no, Billy.

Speaker 4 Shooting for the top or crashing and burning.

Speaker 1 Billy, why don't you start? Why don't you start? You're going to go 8-0. Favorites? Favorites.

Speaker 4 My favorites are Rams by 3.5 against the Ravens.

Speaker 3 That's mine as well. That's mine, too.

Speaker 1 That's mine as well. Oh, no.
And me. Oh, no.

Speaker 1 And Hank?

Speaker 3 Hank has Titans minus three and a half.

Speaker 1 Okay, all right. Wow.
So that just erased. Now it's down to seven games.

Speaker 1 That's kind of good for non-static season. We can't reverse what we did.
Five people. We can't reverse it because this is what we did.
And this is the whole reason that we texted memes.

Speaker 1 But you would be a fucking moron if you're listening to this right now and you don't bet the Ravens. Yeah.
Like five out of six of us having the same pick. Has that happened? Can I be honest?

Speaker 1 Not five. Can I be honest with you?

Speaker 3 This game was my sucker play of the week. I was like, everybody's going to love the Rams.
Everyone's going to remember how bad the Ravens have looked with their backup quarterback situations. And

Speaker 3 I think

Speaker 3 this is going to be where we get to see the finesse Rams come back, where they're going to get shoved around a little bit.

Speaker 1 Here's the thing.

Speaker 3 But I love the Ravens so much that I flipped it on myself at the last second.

Speaker 1 I just don't know. The Ravens are completely decimated on their defense.
Even if Lamar plays, the Rams are going to be able to pass all over them. Joe Burrow just had 500 yards.

Speaker 1 The Rams have the same amount of weapons that the Bengals do.

Speaker 1 This is going to be.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Honestly, if you're listening to this right now and you don't bet the Ravens, you're a fucking moron.
Memes, you said Titans. Titans for Hank.
Titans for Hank. Three and a half.
He's disrespect.

Speaker 1 He really.

Speaker 1 Hank is just based on this pick alone. You can tell how nervous Hank is of

Speaker 1 Judgment Day of the Dolphins beating the Patriots week 18 and going to the playoffs. They have the Jaguars.

Speaker 1 I understand, but if the Dolphins win this game, like Hank is saying to himself, the Titans are going to kill the Dolphins. The Dolphins suck.
I don't have to worry about the Dolphins week 18.

Speaker 3 Is it a possibility that we get into a situation where

Speaker 3 Hank going into week 18 could fall out of second place. Jake could take his spot in second place if Jake picked the Dolphins to beat the Patriots.

Speaker 3 And so then Hank has to root for the Dolphins so that he doesn't go on the trip.

Speaker 1 That's definitely

Speaker 1 great. That would be awesome.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, underdogs. Hanky.
Three and a half, by the way. I know.
Three and a half. I want to say all the numbers.
Yep. Thank you, Jake.

Speaker 4 My underdog is Cardinals by five and a half.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 So So they're on a two-game losing streak. They're playing a big game against the Cowboys.
I think they need to win this game to have any confidence. I think they're going to want it more.

Speaker 4 The Cowboys, I think, may be in chill for the playoffs mode.

Speaker 1 So we talked.

Speaker 3 Big Cap brought up that stat about Cliff Kingsbury and how he's Mr. Weeks one through seven.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 One through nine.

Speaker 3 Let's give him credit. One through seven is his worst stretch over the last three years that he's been in the NFL.
But somebody brought up. a graphic that goes back way farther

Speaker 3 than his head coach from Doug Clauston. So it goes all the way back to 2013 when he was coaching Texas Tech in every season from there.

Speaker 3 Games one through seven in every season, 42, 20, and 1. The rest of the year, 16 and 43.
Now he's got a vitamin D problem. That's the only thing I can think of.

Speaker 1 So I saw this. The only reason that

Speaker 1 in my mind it doesn't hold up is that Texas Tech plays cupcakes in September.

Speaker 4 It's still a stat.

Speaker 1 So it's like 4-0 automatically. NFL.
Yeah, no, it's still a stat. It's still a stat.

Speaker 3 No, but it's not just like 4-0.

Speaker 1 There are a lot of stats. No, I know, but it's like they start 4-0 every year, yeah.

Speaker 3 7-0, 5-2.

Speaker 1 All right, so Cardinals. So you're going against the Cliff Kingsbury? 5.5, yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Jake.

Speaker 1 I took the Dolphins plus 3.5. Okay.

Speaker 1 That's ahead of Hank. This is huge.
That is huge. That game will decide a lot.
If the Dolphins cover, not only are they more alive in the playoff picture, but... Well, they have have to win.

Speaker 1 Right, they'd have to win. But so they do win and cover.
Hank and I are pretty much even. But if Hank wins, it probably eliminates the Dolphins and it could put Hank closer to the road track.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 I'm doing the respect game. You have to.
Automatic. Might even make it a game of the year.
Pittsburgh Steelers plus three and a half Monday night. Big Ben's last home game.

Speaker 1 Have to. Have to.

Speaker 3 I was just thinking about what Big Ben's career is going to be like post-retirement. I feel like he's going to be the new Dan Marino or Joe Theisman where he does like every commercial.

Speaker 3 Big Ben's going to be on TV for Copperfit knee braces, selling his BB7 diet method.

Speaker 1 He'll definitely have a job with the Steelers in some

Speaker 1 capacity that isn't real.

Speaker 3 Football ambassador. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Big Ben. No, they'll give him a title that makes him feel like vice president of football things.
They might even put things in there for him.

Speaker 3 Big Ben should just be a spokesperson for WebMD. He's like, like, how are you feeling? Do you have a tickle in the back of your throat?

Speaker 1 He should just be the

Speaker 1 just be the chat operator. So, like, when you log on to WebMD and they're like, I see you've logged on.
Can I help you with anything? It's actually Big Ben. Hi, my name is Ben.

Speaker 1 I've had every injury that's ever occurred. How can I help you?

Speaker 3 Yeah, you got a torn labrum in your hip. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, that reminds me of week 12 in 2012 when I shouldn't have played, but I did. Someone's like,

Speaker 3 my head kind of aches. Sounds like you were riding a motorcycle.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like,

Speaker 1 do you have a game this week?

Speaker 1 That's how he asked the first question. Hi, it's Big Ben.
Do you have a game this week?

Speaker 3 Okay, you can play. Yeah, listen, every other doctor that you'll ever talk to is going to tell you that you can't do it, but if you really believe in yourself, you can gut through this one.

Speaker 1 All right, your underdog, PFT.

Speaker 3 Texans, plus 12.5 at the 49ers.

Speaker 3 Jimmy G's got the injury. He's got a finger, right? Is it going to be Trey Lance? He's got a finger.
We're going to get maybe Trey Lance.

Speaker 3 They'll at least sprinkle a little Trey Lance for us, I think. I would agree.

Speaker 3 I think Kyle Shanahan said that Trey Lance has had the best month of practice that he's had all year, which is a good thing that he's better now than he was at the start of the year. Yep.

Speaker 3 Because he stunk when he got in

Speaker 3 against the

Speaker 3 Cardinals, right?

Speaker 1 He ran the touchdown play that one time. But yeah, the whole game against the Cardinals was bad.

Speaker 3 That's stunk. And also, Texans are hot.
Yeah. Plus 12 and a half.

Speaker 1 They're starting to believe. 13.
Do we want to keep it at 12 and a half? No, give him a 13. No, give him 13.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Liam.

Speaker 1 I've got Falcons plus 14. Ooh, at Buffalo.
Yes. Buffalo has just been hot coming off a big win.
I feel like Falcons kind of keep it close. They are the.

Speaker 3 What about the coin math, Bubba? Did you hear me when I was talking about the coin math?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I didn't know about that, I'll be honest. And the Falcons do get blown out by good teams.
That's their thing. That's kind of their thing.

Speaker 3 They really get blown out by good teams.

Speaker 1 They get smoked by good teams. All right.

Speaker 1 Hank's pick, as said by memes.

Speaker 1 Raiders plus five.

Speaker 3 Wow, John Madden.

Speaker 1 John Madden, yep. Wait, is it six and a half right now?

Speaker 1 It's been bouncing around because Carson Wentz, it went all the way down to one. It was an eight and a half, went down to one.

Speaker 1 It is off the board on the Barcelona sports book currently.

Speaker 1 So that's probably.

Speaker 1 Hank. Hank might have known something.
Might have, yeah. Let's see.
Hank knows everything.

Speaker 1 Let's see.

Speaker 1 Let's give him what's a fair.

Speaker 1 I see six and a half other places. Let's give him six and a half.
Okay. I think that's fair.
I see six and a half at two different places.

Speaker 1 All right, so

Speaker 1 50 plus six and a half. Six and a half.

Speaker 1 Okay, your over, Billy.

Speaker 4 My over had to take it. You know, we're playing conservative, trying to get this 8-0.

Speaker 4 Chief Spangles over 50.

Speaker 3 What does that have to do with conservative?

Speaker 3 This is the most aggressive over that you can.

Speaker 1 are you trying or not trying i'm really trying i'm like well that's mine as well yeah it's the most obvious over your sue okay

Speaker 3 interesting i mean if you don't think joe burr is going to try to outplay patrick mahomes i mean as opposed to like every other week he's going to try to win yeah yeah like joe bro's going to try to win you can tell he takes it personal no yeah last week he came out there and he was like i'm going to suck because i'm not playing anybody but next week but you you bring your best when you're playing the best but when he played josh johnson he had his best game of his career right but josh johnson Johnson is the best journeyman quarterback.

Speaker 4 No, but like he wants to go out and do that against the Kansas City.

Speaker 1 Okay, I like it. I'll tell you what, Billy and Liam have two of the three the same in this two and a half game lead.
That's huge for Liam. That's huge for Liam.

Speaker 3 This might be a torch game.

Speaker 1 Wait, so that just guaranteed Billy's in last entering next week. Fuck.
Because he can't jump two and a half games if they have only two different.

Speaker 3 You'll be in striking distance, Billy.

Speaker 1 So do we have the same? How many am I up on Billy? Billy, road trip.

Speaker 1 You are

Speaker 1 five on Billy with eight left. This road trip's done.
Omazu's the best. So, no matter what, Billy will be.
Omaz? Well, no, I should say this. I hate

Speaker 1 this PFT. You have to try.

Speaker 3 No, I'm the most honest person here in that I want to finish second place.

Speaker 3 I'm being very honest with you guys. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right, my over is Rams, Ravens, over.

Speaker 1 You do understand my point, though, that like the competition, in the spirit of the competition, what people were listening for was like, man, this is going to suck for two people.

Speaker 1 Oh, every week it's neck and neck. And then

Speaker 1 on the finish line, you're like, I actually kind of want to do it.

Speaker 3 I think they'd actually be happy to see us having a good time on the trip across the country.

Speaker 1 But that's different than saying it now. Like, having a, again,

Speaker 1 if I finish second, I will find a way to make good content out of it and have fun with it. Okay.
But I don't want to do it because that's the whole point of it.

Speaker 4 You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 Wait, wait, wait for a second, Billy. I think what the actual issue is here, when we first conceptualized the trip across the country, We were like, fuck, that's going to suck.
I hate that.

Speaker 3 Now, we've gone so long.

Speaker 3 And the fact of the matter is, i literally just like looked at a map that somebody tweeted me and i got excited about it and i'm sure that if i finish in second place yes when it's when it when it dawns no when it dawns on me that i'm actually gonna have to do it i'm probably gonna flip again and be like this sounded like something cool that i could do this is gonna suck i just want to keep a competition that we had set from the beginning where it was like everyone's like oh that sucks wherever finishes second and last instead of oh we're now gunning for second and last i just think that's a you problem if you're upset that I'm not looking forward to

Speaker 1 the roads. It's not a me problem.
Spirit of the competition.

Speaker 3 You're yucking my yum.

Speaker 1 No, I'm

Speaker 1 trying to have a competition that we've done all season, and instead of the last two weeks being like, I'm in first, but I'd like to be second, so I win either way, that happened.

Speaker 3 The reality is, if I do come in second, I'm sure that eventually I'm going to flip again and be like, I really don't want to do this shit.

Speaker 1 All right, just do it now.

Speaker 3 I really don't want to do this shit.

Speaker 1 There it is. That's all you have to do.

Speaker 3 I thought it was going to be fun.

Speaker 1 There it is.

Speaker 3 But I actually have to get into a car and drive. And it'd be awesome if it was warm weather.
I just could get the convertible.

Speaker 1 It's fun when people listen to us being like, we have to do something we don't want to do. Not we get to do something fucking sick.

Speaker 1 What a bad punishment.

Speaker 3 The best possible

Speaker 1 thing we've invested all year in.

Speaker 3 It's actually me really hoping I get second place, still finishing in first, and then Hank having to go on the trip. And I'm like, damn, I wish I could have done that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's funny. If you're like, oh, Hank, you're going to have so much fun.
I really wish I was in your spot. And then knowing he's going to be miserable.

Speaker 1 The two people who go are going to make good content out of it. I never thought that wasn't going to be the case.
Unless it's like, well, no, Billy and Jake would have been hilarious.

Speaker 1 That would have been great. Well, it's very much in the cards.

Speaker 4 I kind of am fine with losing, but if I do get second to last, I would still kind of want to go.

Speaker 1 Okay, so there we go. All right.
Rams, Ravens, Billy, over 46 and a half. Why don't we just all just drive across the country?

Speaker 3 We should actually clarify for Billy that you're going to have to work and do other stuff while you're on the road trip.

Speaker 1 Correct. It's not a bad.

Speaker 3 Like, because Billy, I think most of the reason why Billy wants to go on the road trip is so that he doesn't have to work.

Speaker 1 And you also don't have like six days to do it.

Speaker 3 Okay. And are you going to bring your dog?

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 you got bent.

Speaker 3 You're going to do Mitt Romney and just put him on the roof?

Speaker 1 Rams Ravens over 46.5 is my over.

Speaker 1 Did you do your over? Yeah, that's just

Speaker 1 the Chiefs. All right.
Billy, have 50.

Speaker 3 I like that over.

Speaker 1 I think that's a good one. Which one?

Speaker 3 Rams Ravens. So you're going to take that? No, but I'm just saying I like it.
Okay.

Speaker 3 My over

Speaker 3 is

Speaker 3 I got Cardinals Cowboys over 51 and a half.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's a fun over.

Speaker 3 Basically, just a fun over. That's a fun over.

Speaker 1 52 now. 52.
Even better. Move line.
Even better.

Speaker 1 Liam, Bubba.

Speaker 1 He's in. I'm with.
Yeah, the same. Oh, yeah, you're the same.
All right, memes

Speaker 1 for Hank. Bills, Falcons over 44.5.
Bills, Falcons over 44.5. Okay.

Speaker 1 Under, Billy. Wrap us up.

Speaker 4 Giants, Bears, 37. It's a yucky game.

Speaker 1 I have the same one. Yeah.
Are you kidding me? Oh, my God. I mean, he texted it to memes.
I texted it to memes. Memes could verify.
No, no, but

Speaker 1 Memes has been back there with Liam.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 So Liam has

Speaker 1 huge for Liam without even realizing has played incredible defense.

Speaker 4 Wait, so

Speaker 1 What's the game that I haven't chosen with Liam?

Speaker 1 You have the Cardinals plus five and and a half, and he has Atlanta plus 14. So, in theory, that would have been a great strategy.
It would have. I just tried to guess all his.

Speaker 1 If Liam wins the Falcons and Billy loses the Cardinals, it would be three and a half with four games left. It would then need to be a 4-0 and 0-4 reverse sweep next week.

Speaker 1 But if he loses and I win, is that it's 1.5 with 4 to go?

Speaker 1 Got it. That's very much

Speaker 1 in reach. Yes.
All right.

Speaker 1 Four was that number. Under 37.5.

Speaker 1 Jake, you're under. I just want to confirm that.

Speaker 1 38. Giant pairs, 38.

Speaker 1 38. Okay.

Speaker 1 I took, what did I take? I took the Jets Bucs, I believe it was 47.

Speaker 1 That's mine as well. Under 46.
Yep. So we're paired up on two.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 We're not really ahead-to-head? Well, we kind of are. That's good stuff.
To get to second. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
There's going to be movement to second. All right.

Speaker 1 And then finally, Hank's last under

Speaker 1 memes.

Speaker 1 Hank has 49ers, Texans 44. And I can confirm that Billy and Liam have three picks.
Wow.

Speaker 1 Hank has 44 and a half now. Who texted you first, Jake or Billy? Or Liam or Billy?

Speaker 1 Billy, then Liam.

Speaker 3 Interesting.

Speaker 1 Billy. So Hank, 44.5.
Hmm.

Speaker 3 You texted first, Billy.

Speaker 1 Well, I did do an update on my picks.

Speaker 1 Wait, what?

Speaker 4 And that one update was the one pick that we have different.

Speaker 4 Interesting. Because I picked the Colts as my underdog originally when Sam Ellinger was starting.

Speaker 1 Ah, okay.

Speaker 4 And then I said,

Speaker 4 actually, I want to change it.

Speaker 1 Good thing he has the Falcons and not the Colts.

Speaker 1 So it never was a problem.

Speaker 1 All right. He changed it too.
I'm excited for week 17.

Speaker 3 Why didn't I get my under?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, you're under.

Speaker 3 My under, I'm going to take the under in the Saints Panthers. Which is.
38.5.

Speaker 3 That's what I got. I don't know what it's like.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, that's a there's two games in the United States.

Speaker 3 Just gross. Just a gross game.
I don't know who's going to be playing quarterback for the Saints.

Speaker 1 Assume Taysom Hill, right?

Speaker 3 If Blake's starting, do I get permission to change this? Yes.

Speaker 3 Out of respect for Blake. Absolutely.
I'm not going to be putting my name next to an underpick with Blake Boodle's name next to it. If he does change, I'm going to take a game.
I'll pick one that.

Speaker 3 Who are the Seahawks playing?

Speaker 1 Seahawks are playing the Lions.

Speaker 3 Okay, no one's talked about that game yet, so I'll take the under in that game.

Speaker 1 Okay, so that was. Your official picture.
Caroline, no,

Speaker 1 yes, correct.

Speaker 1 If Blake Bortles starts, it now switches to Seahawks line. The Blake Bortles flaws.
Yeah, it's absolutely fair.

Speaker 3 I did notice that some people online got to the bottom of the Hudat versus Huday discussion. And let's just say

Speaker 3 some stones are better left unturned.

Speaker 1 Yes, I'd agree. I'd agree.
But thank you for overturning those stones for a brief second and then being like, oops, there's some worms and critters.

Speaker 3 The phrase, weird shit. The phrase entertainment sketches from the 1960s was doing a lot of work.

Speaker 3 It's like my grandfather took a semester abroad from Germany to Argentina in 1945.

Speaker 1 Let's just quickly say best games of the weekend.

Speaker 1 There's some weird games because

Speaker 1 everyone's still alive. What would you say the best game on week 17 is? Chief Spangles.
Chief Spangles?

Speaker 3 Chief Spangles, yeah.

Speaker 1 Chiefs Bangles.

Speaker 1 Cardinals, Cowboys, although the Cowboys, both teams are in. They both clinched.

Speaker 3 I don't think that's that good of a game, though, because the Cowboys are awesome, and the Cardinals suck.

Speaker 1 Raiders, Colts will be interesting because that does feel like the Colts have been riding really high, and the Raiders, I don't know.

Speaker 1 Maybe I'm just talking myself into this Raiders maybe beating the Colts, which is not going to happen. And then the Vikings are going to lose by a billion to the Packers, I'm sure.

Speaker 3 Unless Kyle Sloeder starts.

Speaker 1 Unless Kyle Sloeder starts.

Speaker 1 I'll also give you permission for that. If Kyle Sloeder starts, you get the Vikings as your underdog if you'd like.
Declines. Out of respect.
No. You don't believe in Kyle Sloan?

Speaker 3 I want to see how he plays.

Speaker 3 I want to watch all 22 of them during a regular season game. I've only seen him play in the month of August.
I don't know if he can handle December.

Speaker 1 That's true. All right.
Anything else before we wrap up?

Speaker 3 The numbers.

Speaker 1 Like last week, we're doing this on Tuesday again. We had Dolphins plus three and a half last week.
I know, but that's just how it is.

Speaker 1 That's how it is.

Speaker 1 It could change.

Speaker 1 Billy benefited from the Raiders Browns game a couple weeks ago. True.
It's COVID rules. It's COVID rules.

Speaker 3 I had one other stat

Speaker 3 that I wanted to address here. Cliff Kingsbury.
You know what his middle name is?

Speaker 1 No. It's Tarl.
Hmm. With a T.
Tarl?

Speaker 1 Yeah, Tarl. Clifford?

Speaker 1 Cliff?

Speaker 3 Carl? No, it's Tarl.

Speaker 4 Would you think it was Carl with a K at one point?

Speaker 1 Oh, good call. Good call.

Speaker 3 They really went out of their way to avoid those initials.

Speaker 1 Yeah, his grandfather's name is Carl. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Smart move to the Kingsbury family. Tarl.

Speaker 1 Although,

Speaker 3 you really toe in the line with that one.

Speaker 1 Wait,

Speaker 3 are we idiots?

Speaker 4 Is Cliff spelled with a K or C? It's K. K.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit.

Speaker 3 With Kingsbury spelled with a K as well.

Speaker 1 Well, that was one of your most genius moments, Billy, and then you've doubted yourself.

Speaker 3 What the hell?

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, that's yourself.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it is. What? Yeah.
Fact check confirmed.

Speaker 3 Do you guys have any New Year's resolutions?

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah, by the way, real quick, if I ordered supplements, a supplement stack for everyone in the podcast, would you guys be down to take it?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 No questions asked.

Speaker 4 Let me just read it out so people.

Speaker 1 I'll give you my credit card.

Speaker 4 Okay, beta-alanine, 500 milligrams. The Spartac acid.
Wait, who's this for?

Speaker 3 That's in C4.

Speaker 1 For each of you. Creatine.
Oh, you're not customizing it?

Speaker 4 Customizing it for everybody.

Speaker 1 As a whole?

Speaker 1 No, that's not what customization is.

Speaker 4 So you're going to get stuff that speeds up your metabolism. Okay.

Speaker 1 PFT is going to get it. Okay, you are.
That is customization. Okay.
Yeah. So yeah,

Speaker 1 give me what I'm getting.

Speaker 4 Okay, this is what you're getting. Beta-alanine, 500 milligrams, aspartic acid, 600 milligrams, creatine.

Speaker 1 Actually, you know what? No creatine for you. Creatine kiddostone still.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah, no creatine for you. Ashguanda extract, trivulus, terrestrious, arganine, theanine, and turmeric biopairine.
That's just to make sure everything is streamlined in your body.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I look forward to what you're doing.

Speaker 4 What are something a little different?

Speaker 1 What am I getting? Is he getting the creatine?

Speaker 4 You're getting vascodilators to get you a pump so when every time you work out, your muscles get fucking swole.

Speaker 3 Wait, that's the only thing that I'm getting?

Speaker 1 Yeah, but you just finished a cut.

Speaker 3 You're giving Big Cat the ingredients of a complete nutrition laboratory. You're getting like,

Speaker 3 essentially, you're saying to me, I'm going to give you cocaine.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 it's actually he's just going to dehydrate you so that your veins pop. No, you're going to get oxygen.
He's just going to go water.

Speaker 3 You're giving me one thing. Big Cat.

Speaker 4 He's giving you nitro oxide boosters and other stuff. Oh, that's creative.

Speaker 3 Yeah, wait, he's getting to the other stuff.

Speaker 1 I want to listen to all boosters. That's fucking sick.
Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 3 The creatine, is that bad for somebody with kidney stones? Chronic kidney stones?

Speaker 1 No, it's just going to make you bloated.

Speaker 4 It's going to push out the kidney stones. Okay.
It's going to break them up. Get those kidneys going.
That's good.

Speaker 3 I just want to get jacked. Exactly.
New year, new me. I want to dunk on a regulation.

Speaker 3 My resolution is I want to dunk something on a regulation.

Speaker 4 We're going to put carnitine, which makes your muscle fibers more efficient.

Speaker 1 Okay, I like that.

Speaker 3 I'm also going to read a book this year.

Speaker 1 There we go. I'm still thinking about it.
I have a tweet from like three years ago saying I started a book. I can't wait till I finish one so I can reply to it.
It's been a while. You know what else?

Speaker 1 I did start a book when I tweeted that.

Speaker 3 I'm going to learn the Freebird solo this year.

Speaker 1 There we go.

Speaker 1 Jake?

Speaker 1 I'm going to read Goodell versus Obama. Oh.
Good book.

Speaker 3 You should read the audiobook version. Yes.

Speaker 1 And you should also purchase that if you don't have it already on Audible.com.

Speaker 4 I'm getting jacked again and starting to dress more like an adult.

Speaker 1 What? Yeah. What does that mean? Just shoelaces in your shoes?

Speaker 4 Dude, I already started, bro.

Speaker 1 Look what I got for Christmas. Wait, you brought it to show us? Yeah.
That's a book bag.

Speaker 1 That's not dressing.

Speaker 4 That's an accessory.

Speaker 1 It's not a backpack. Right, but that's not.
It's a satchel. But

Speaker 1 that's not part of dressing.

Speaker 3 We're looking more adults.

Speaker 1 Okay, all right. Do you think adults?

Speaker 3 Billy, you know that. Satchel.
You know that you're a blogger, right?

Speaker 4 Satchel.

Speaker 1 We have a job that's like

Speaker 1 encouraging.

Speaker 4 Yeah, but like at one point you guys like dressed like adults.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 PFG is literally wearing sweatpants

Speaker 1 in your life.

Speaker 1 Like at one point you put on like

Speaker 1 fun of for dressing the most adult like and it's just jeans and a sweatshirt. Yeah, but that is like the peak.

Speaker 1 The cat gets jean shamed. Yeah, I get gene shamed.

Speaker 1 He does show up.

Speaker 1 I'm literally the most adult person on this podcast and I've wearing a sweatshirt 40 days in a row.

Speaker 4 But at one point in your guys' lives, you guys like.

Speaker 1 The cat loves to rub in the whole I went to college thing.

Speaker 1 He wears sweatshirts with hoods. Look at me.
I have. And not hoods.
Look at me. I have equity.
I'm wearing socks.

Speaker 1 You got nice orange socks on right now.

Speaker 3 I know. They're nice.

Speaker 1 You also have equity.

Speaker 3 Everything that I'm wearing right now is free, which is pretty typical of my day-to-day experience.

Speaker 4 I'm never going to grow up.

Speaker 1 No, you're going to grow up. All right.
Numbers. Do you want to

Speaker 1 go hit the machine? 69. Scouts honor memes? Bring the ball out here.
44.

Speaker 1 For the video. 22.
6.

Speaker 1 TJ, you want to guess? The last ball of 2021. Wow.
16. You're a big, I can tell you're a big, like, this is the last of this year thing.
This is also the penal ultimate week of the regular season.

Speaker 1 I've gotten to the point where I just don't, the years just blend together. I don't even.
But you've said that a few times. I like that.

Speaker 1 You need the one guy around who's like, hey, this is the last time we'll be together. 2021, guys.
It's time to reflect.

Speaker 3 Another cool throw. See you next year, guy.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That guy's having a week.

Speaker 1 Last time we'll sip out of this water in this room.

Speaker 3 You guys think 2022 is going to be better than 2021?

Speaker 1 2022 is going to be sick.

Speaker 1 The chats are going to do some sick shit.

Speaker 3 I think everything changes in 2022.

Speaker 3 If you had to power rank 2020 and 2021,

Speaker 3 what's first?

Speaker 1 2020.

Speaker 1 2020.

Speaker 3 I like 20. I like the first.

Speaker 1 There was no March Madness. I like the two.
Oh, yeah, that's true. But that two months.
Yeah, first two months were sick. Yeah.
Dude, New Orleans? Yeah. Yeah.
What did you get? 68. Oh, you kidding me?

Speaker 1 Oh, damn, baby.

Speaker 1 I think it was upside down. The lines on the bottom.
68, yeah. Yeah,

Speaker 1 that's so close.

Speaker 3 But yeah, but Kay, I think that's fair. It's like having the debate on it.

Speaker 1 Second timer.

Speaker 3 Like Walter Payton versus Emmett Smith's career or something like it, where like the peaks of 2020

Speaker 3 were amazing. Right.

Speaker 1 The lows were quite terrible. Terrible.

Speaker 3 2021 was just it was pretty good also

Speaker 1 we compiled stats in 2021 you could make the argument the first like two weeks of quarantine were kind of low-key fun because it was like, yeah, it was snow day. Getting over March Madness.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but now, like, the fact that we're still dealing with this shit is such a slog and such a drain.

Speaker 1 Like, before it was, at least coronavirus was scary. You know what I mean? Like, it was scary.
We were like, ooh, this is scary for a little bit.

Speaker 3 Dude, everyone got addicted to the news. Yep.

Speaker 1 We were all terrified.

Speaker 1 Cuomo on

Speaker 1 his PowerPoints. Yeah, every single day.

Speaker 3 Yeah, all the Cuomo sexuals out there had a great 2020. 2021 was not as good for you.

Speaker 3 That was wild when we all just pretended that.

Speaker 1 What about you, Billy? 2020 or 2021? Well, you're a big Trump guy, so.

Speaker 3 So January 2021 was great for Billy.

Speaker 1 We'll see everyone in 2020.

Speaker 4 Wait, wait, wait, I got to explain something. Okay.
So this one, so the difference between

Speaker 4 a crow, a raven, and a blackbird. Blackbirds are much smaller.

Speaker 1 Who asked? Ravens.

Speaker 4 It's like the cougar, Puma, and Mountain Lion.

Speaker 1 Yeah, who asked that? It's very important.

Speaker 4 These are highly asked questions.

Speaker 4 Crows have different sounds than ravens. Ravens travel in pairs.
Crows travel in flocks.

Speaker 1 Love you guys. All right.

Speaker 1 Well, I drove her talking away.

Speaker 1 I'm to say I saves my life.

Speaker 1 Sage anyway

Speaker 1 Today's and not

Speaker 1 close my eyes

Speaker 1 Day to find you

Speaker 1 Shy ain't away

Speaker 1 I'm coming for your lovers

Speaker 1 I'm all descended to see the mile.

Speaker 1 But I mean,

Speaker 1 I have to be

Speaker 1 somewhat awful.

Speaker 1 life and just fire

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 It's the better to conserve itself.

Speaker 1 We're going to take

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 on.

Speaker 1 We're not going to

Speaker 1 be

Speaker 1 ground

Speaker 1 The winter of

Speaker 1 the way

Speaker 1 We're on the void wall bomb

Speaker 1 We're long wild