Coach Jim McElwain, Remembering John Madden & Week 17 Picks

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On today's Pardon My Take, we are back in studio, different studio, all together, minus Hank. We're going to talk some Monday Night Football.
We're going to talk about the passing of a legend, all-time football guy, John Madden. We have Hot Seat Cool Throne.
We have Guys on Chicks. The Arizona Bowl got canceled, whatever.
That sucks. And we're also going to do the weekend preview because this will be our last show of 2021 without Hank.
I should mention that. He's not here.
That's okay. He said that he's not here because Bills fans, he needed a personal day after what the Bills fans were doing to him.
Hank's taking a week off of social media too, I believe. Yes, yes.
Get his mind right. But we have a great show, long show.
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Okay, let's go. to be done.
No place to hang out or wash in.

And then I can't name all of the sun.

Oh, no.

We're gonna rock down to electric avenue.

And then we'll take it higher.

Oh, we're gonna rock down to electric avenue.

It's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports.

Welcome to part of my take presented by Tostitos, the official chip and dip of the NFL. Today is Monday, December 29th, and we start with the passing of, we were saying this beforehand, probably the number one football guy of all time, John Madden.
He passed away at age of 85 right before we got into studio tonight we figured we had to start the show with him um for newer football fans they think of madden the video game for us pft i think we both think of madden as the broadcaster and the video game and then of course he was a hall of fame coach as well winning a super bowl with the raiders highest winning percentage of any head coach with 100 wins i think it's crazy to think about like a guy like john madden um and if you i i actually missed the documentary i i think it's going to be streaming i think january 3rd is what i read oh i'm going to watch the shit out yeah so it came out on christmas day i heard that it was incredible i missed it i'm gonna watch it everyone should watch it maybe we'll do a review of it but it is crazy to think of like if you did a list of people who had an impact on football and football fans in america i think john madden might be one because Maybe even sports. maybe sports because he had his career as a coach and then as a broadcaster like the thing that made John Madden different and the thing that made John Madden so great was and I think that we try to do this in our everyday life in our jobs is if you're having fun doing something the audience knows and if you like and enjoy something it it comes across on tv and in your ears where you're like this guy loves his job he loves football and he was the first broadcaster to really show that love i think the the best thing that you can say about a guy is that the gift that John Madden had and the gift that he gave people was that he loved something so much and so purely that he made other people love it too.
Yes. And that it was like truly infectious love.
Listening to him talk about football made you love football more. Correct.
Even if you weren't a football fan. And this kind of – it transcends sports sometimes.
But I kind of feel that way just about anybody that's super passionate about anything. Yes.
They make you love something and they show you the way that they love it. And with John Madden, the gift that he gave the world is that he made other people love football just because of how much he loved it.
And in life, if you can do that, you've made the world a better place yeah when i think of two the two broadcasters like when i was a kid watching sports being like oh my god look how much fun they're having it's john madden and dickie v it's those two guys where it's like they watch the game and they make you feel like you're part of the experience and you're having fun with them and john madden and pat Summerall they were the crew like they were football they were Sunday afternoons they were like everything that you could think of when you close your eyes for an entire generation what does football look like what does football sound like it's John Madden and Pat Summerall and then what does football sound like it sounds like this it sounds like boom yeah that's right in the telestrator and everything if somebody uses the word boom then you're talking about football that's code for let's talk about football and we're gonna date ourselves a little bit here but then you then you you move on to the video game which is probably the most important no it actually no it's definitely the most important sports video game ever created except I fucked the passing cone. Yeah, and then the first 10, whatever, 12 years of it, he was the cover.
I can see it in my head, him coming out of, I think it was coming out of a wall on the first cover. And I remember maybe Madden 96 or 7 on N64 when you could adjust every player rating on your team so you just made your entire defensive line 500 pounds and 99 across the board yeah and I would get like I think there was one season where I had 900 sacks yeah there he is coming out of like a play a play sheet and it's just he brought football uh to a an entire new generation with video games.
And I loved the ambulance coming on, all the operations of Madden. We were lucky enough that we got to see basically the birth of the Madden football game and followed along.
And yeah, you get to a point where you're probably aged out of it, but it still is the iconic game. I still have moments where I'm like, you know what I really want to do right now i want to play some madden like i always just think of it always and there was a great thread i'm going to read some madden quotes because let's go wait on me just just reading these quotes to myself it makes me smile the dude was such an awesome personality he was very funny too he was self-deprecating which is like there's so many people that take themselves too seriously, especially in media.
I saw a report. I think Richard Deitch did an interview where it was a report of Chris Collinsworth and Al Michaels having dinner with Madden in 2012 and being like, we really want you to come out of retirement to call one more game as a special guest appearance for a week.
And John Madden was like, no, because I know the the work that goes into doing a single game i know how much work it is to keep up with the nfl to keep up with the sport on a week-to-week basis everything changes and i don't have the ego that would make me want to get back in the booth to prove to everybody i still have it and like that's so rare yes somebody who's yes who's undoubtedly reached the peak right of their career to also not have the ego and to be aware of the fact that, hey, it's not as simple as just coming into the booth for a weekend, although I'm sure he still would have killed it. Oh, absolutely.
So here's some quotes. Jay Adande pulled some of these up.
And this is John Madden talking about football. When you win as a coach, you get to be a genius.
But if you look at it, you're a guy that was a PE major in college. Your best class was recess, and then you become a coach.
When you win some games, you're a genius. You go from being good at recess to a genius.
That's great. That's awesome.
He would say, cheap and available. You never want that as your nickname.
He said, there's great bodies and there's good bodies and there's average bodies.

Every once in a while, you come across a bad body.

When he was watching a game. Fact.

Is the pork chop one in there?

The pork chop one's in here.

Anyone from Houston, Texas, you're going to be tough.

There's two rules in life.

You can always be late.

This is actually maybe my favorite John Madden quote ever.

There's two rules in life.

You can always be late because you were watching Monday Night Football and the World Series. As a kid, you can always watch those two things and it's okay.
That is my childhood buttoned up right there. That's so true.
This is just perfect about dogs. There's no dog that has more fun than a golden retriever.
That's also just a fact. And then the Porkchop one, whatever happened to nicknames? It's great to have a game where the tackle is nicknamed Porkchop.
I mean, that's perfect. That's absolutely true.
And maybe my other favorite one was when they were doing a preview for Cops. You know, they would always do the next week or following the game on Fox, we're going to watch Cops.
And Pat Summerall would do the murder she wrote. Exactly.
Yeah, so John Madden said, the thing about Cops is when you're watching that show, there's always a guy with his shirt off and that's always the guy that did it it's perfect he i mean he's truly one in a billion um i'm certain that john madden is in heaven right now oh yeah if heaven exists john madden is definitely up there just he he he loved people yes he loved people he loved football he he basically made thanksgiving like a bigger holiday than it like he he made he popular popularized thanksgiving eating football all of it um he also like the the coolest thing john madden did was he just drove everywhere in a bus never got on a plane the famous quote is i'm not afraid of dying. I'm not afraid of flying.
I'm just afraid I'll die. So it's like, and he just, he drove a bus everywhere.
I think that's why he quit coaching too. He was sick of flying everywhere.
It gave him such bad anxiety. He was like, you know what? I'm going to retire from coaching and then the rest of my life, I'm just going to be like the global ambassador for football.
Yeah. And I always, I would always remember like he wouldn't go to the Pro Bowl because it was in Hawaii.
He's like, well, yeah, he's not going to go there. I think we need to do something for John Madden.
When I say we, I don't mean as a podcast. Maybe we'll name the football.
Well, Mike Tomlin called him the football man. Well, Billy said that we should name America after him, just United States of Madden, which I kind of liked.
That's not bad. I think that's actually perfect.
They should actually name. I'm trying to think of what trophies in the NFLfl don't have a name the mvp trophy they could name that after john madden the problem is they're gonna they have the year yeah coach of the year yeah why not i just i think with the year have a name he was always should absolutely he was always known for for the all madden team too where it would just get like the toughy toughest grittiest guys out there they should just pick the toughest grittiest player the nfl should give an award to that guy and call it the All guys out there.
They should just pick the toughest, grittiest player.

The NFL should give an award to that guy and call it the All-Madden Award.

They should actually get rid of the MVP

because the MVP and the Heisman

have become totally irrelevant at this point

because it's just the quarterback on the best team

and just make the MVP the Madden Award

and everyone is actually eligible for once.

A second MVP, the Madden valuable player like Nick does it.

Yeah, that would work as well.

But yeah, an all-time legend.

I actually do think that they should make a new award for him.

I don't think they should slap his name on something.

I don't think that that's the proper homage.

They should name the Super Bowl after him.

They should name John Madden Super Bowl.

They should name football after Madden.

They should just call the NFL Madden. Like you guys going to watch Madden on Sunday? Yeah, right.
Or, like, the actual football. Like, look at that.
Look at how he handles the Madden. Yeah.
Well, that's the Duke. Yeah, I know.
They should just make it the Madden. I don't know who the Duke was.
Like, you know, I'd say one of the biggest issues that Trevor Lawrence has is he's careless with the Madden. Mm-hmm.
That works. yeah i we got to do something big for him roger goodell this is this will go down defining yeah roger goodell's legacy yes how you how you figure out a way to properly honor the football god that was john madden i was gonna say tom brady deflates his maddens but hank's not here you can't say that you can't say that without hank being hank's not here he He's not here because he said, I think his quote was, hey, guys, I'm going to take today off because Bill's fans were so mean to me.
Yeah. No, actually, he's not here because he's – the travel, let's – that's a segue to the next.
So John Madden, all-time legend. If you don't – if you're too young to know the impact he had – well, here's the thing.
If you're too young to know – to remember John Madden calling games and being on the face of video games, you don't realize how much impact he had on your life just before you became a football fan. You became a football fan because of John Madden without even realizing it.
So do watch. I think I read January 3rd.
It's going to be streaming everywhere. Do watch it.
We will do a documentary review. All-time all time.
Tough year for Frank Caliendo between Gruden and now this. Someone tweeted, was like, you got to get Frank Caliendo on tomorrow's show.
I was like, eh, maybe. He's probably, yeah.
Frank's probably going to hang that one up for a while. Yeah.
But so we are, the reason why we're, well, we're all back because the Arizona Bowl got canceled. You probably saw.
Hank is not here because his plan was to go to Arizona from where he was. We were going to tape the show originally on Wednesday.
We decided let's do it on Tuesday because we can maybe take a little bit of a break. So that's why he's not here.
It's not actually the Bills fans. Although I think they did get to him.
It was very convenient. Yeah, it did get to him.
But that's why he's on here. Arizona Bowl got canceled.

Fucking sucks.

With that said, I would recommend everyone, if you can figure out a way to have a plan to jump out of an airplane in a public manner and have that canceled 48 hours beforehand.

Thrill of a lifetime. I had quite the 2021 with canceled plans between this and my root canal because I obviously really – I was very upset that the game got canceled.

We had so many people doing so much work behind the scenes for so long.

Even that fuckhead all business, Pete, shout out him, can't even come.

But not having to jump out of the plane was awesome.

That's a nice consolation.

It really is.

I'm pretty pumped because I hadn't learned higher. We were going to play higher with Scott Stapp.
Yes. He was going to play with us in Pup Punk, and he likes to play it in a very certain – I think he tunes it down like a half step when he does it live.
I had not practiced it at all. I think I learned the basics of it about a month and a half ago.
Hadn't played it again. We were thinking about actually preemptively canceling that because we were like, he's probably going to sing it at halftime too.
We don't want to spoil the big surprise. Well, this is future us problem.
But then it was too late in the game. Because we're going to still do it.
We still have the Arizona Bowl. We still have another two years of rights, I believe.
So you're still going to do it with Scott Stapp. I'm still going to jump out of an airplane.
This is the ultimate, we'll just handle this in a year from now I'd also like to say that um I'm I'm very very happy for for Central Michigan yeah good for them they they got paid by the Sun Bowl I think they're getting like three million dollars to go play in that game good for them no animosity which it sucks that that COVID has fucked everything up but I think that though like a lot of people are talking what we saw with the UCLA game and the NC State game, where NC State's saying, oh, they backed out. They voted as a team to not play.
I don't know if that's true or not. But we're so far behind what even the CDC is saying right now in college football.
And I think the reason for that is because of the threat of lawsuits. There are a bunch of people out there, the people that run the bowl games, that run the stadiums and shit, they're terrified of the fact that one person gets sick and then they get sued for all that they're worth after the fact.
I don't think it's up to the players and it's not up to the coaches to decide do you or do you not want to play. Obviously, Boise State wanted to play.
The Chips wanted to play. It sucks.
It just sucks. The whole thing, it's out of our hands.
It sucks. Shout out to losers, which there are many who rooted, like, basically for our bowl game to get canceled because they hate barstool, essentially saying, fuck those kids that work really hard and have, like, a bowl game that they all, like, Jake and I were on the call with the coaches.
The coaches were like, all of our players are so excited to be in this game game This is going to be a lot of fun That gets ruined for them But who cares The people online who want to be like Haha you guys deserved it That's pretty cool You hypocritical piece of this shit I just want to show those people The face of a boy that you've tremendously upset And you've ruined his week That's Jake Marsh Jake Marsh is going to be on the call with Dave and I. Can we show Jake Marsh right here? I do feel the worst for you.
Jake was going to be doing play-by-play. He had already put in 90% of the prep work, which knowing Jake was probably – he probably spent the last month and a half just like staring at rosters, playing the media guide pronunciations of their name.
Jake, what was the toughest name that you learned how to pronounce? Actually, one of Boise State's biggest players on defense, Kecalo Keneho. Oh my god.
That was like honey. In Central Michigan, I mean, Pimpleton would have been fun.
That's a fun name. Lou Nichols is a great name.
Yeah, Lee Rusher. It's not about me.
It's about the players. Feel bad for Boise State seniors.
Yeah, it sucks. It really does suck.
And I know there's a lot of people who say bowl games don't matter. They actually do matter from a football standpoint more than people realize because if you're in a bowl game, you get an extra three weeks of practice that can help you for next year, that can help underclassmen progress and get a shot, especially if there's other people opting out.
So it does matter a team standpoint and it's a cool experience like a lot of these kids at Boise and Central Mission aren't going to be playing in the NFL they got a chance to play on a game that would have been a cool platform the first ever Barstool Sports Bowl the whole thing sucks but you're right PFT like Central Michigan they Jim McElwain who's on the show today a great interview coming up he had a really nice note like they they end up like they had to do what they did because they get more money than they would have gotten because sunbowl's on cbs it's how the business works people were trying to own us for that fact it's like no shit a game that's on cbs can pay more than a game that's on yeah uh barstool and Facebook and YouTube we were good for them yeah we're like we're trying to build something of course that's how it works I'm bummed that it got canceled but I'm not like there's no animosity whatsoever no and the Mac gets shy it was the correct decision I'm glad that they got it I'm I'm interested to see how this plays out especially when it comes to the college football playoff because they put out those rules about what's going to happen in the of positive tests. I don't know if they're going to change any of that going forward, but I will say that the rules as written right now heavily favor Michigan.
And most importantly, they favor Harbaugh. They favor Jim Harbaugh.
Why? Because I guarantee you Jim Harbaugh is going to have his players isolated. Oh.
And they're going to be in competition coffins where they get fed their meals just coming through straws through the door. Harbaugh is not going to – he's going to lock his players up in rooms and be like, you're not interacting with anybody.
We have a greater purpose to serve. There's no greater enemy, foreign or domestic, than the coronavirus.
See, I think Michigan's the only team that actually has a chance of of of like losing out on this no because well no i mean the sec does whatever they want they've done whatever they want from the beginning they georgia and alabama they changed their rules like on the fly bill o'brien's already back at practice cincinnati this is the biggest sec's choice no no they play't. They basically have...
They brought back Bill O'Brien out of nowhere. I'm pretty sure they made...
The SEC changed their rules. But when it comes to players, I don't think that they just leave that up to the teams because...
I think Michigan's the most at risk just because of knowing Michigan's athletic department and the Big Ten and Kevin Warren, all that shit that has gone into the entire last two years i think it's it's going to be left up to the ncaa it's going to be up to the the no because the charge of the testing and no because the the college football playoff they're just gonna be like espn they're gonna be like hey nick saban we found a stack of uh 20 binax tests test down at walgreens i'm just gonna trust that you give your guys a test report back to test the real figures. I don't think that's how it works.
I'm pretty sure that the, look it up Jake, I'm pretty sure the SEC has some rules that basically are like, we're going to get to the college football finals, no matter what. We'll see how that plays out, but I guarantee that Harbaugh is like, he is treating this like his war.
We know that he can't stop reading nonfiction books about World War II. This is Harbaugh's greater purpose.
He was born for a moment like this. Yeah, I mean, Nick Saban too.
Yeah, but Harbaugh is, I have faith in Harbaugh. I'm still looking.
Oh, okay. All right, Monday Night Football? Oh, I guess we could do predictions for the Final Four in college football.
I've wavered. There's been times where I've been like, ooh, maybe Cincinnati will give Bama a game.
I think we're just on a collision course for Bama-Georgia again. That's what it looks like to me.
It feels that way. I think I'm going to take Michigan and Alabama.
I want to believe that Michigan is going to win.

So I'm really going with my heart, not my gut on that one.

So Michigan and then Alabama.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Fuck.

I'm excited for the games.

I hope there's no blowouts.

I hope there always is.

But especially when it's New Year's Eve,

it's like they put basically your entire happiness on New Year's Eve into hopefully these games are competitive. And when they're not, it fucking sucks.
All right. Monday Night Football? Well, we had a lot of people that got mad at us for not talking about Thursday Night Football.
We never talk about Thursday Night Football on Sunday Night shows. But there were a lot of Titans fans out there being like, why are you ducking us? Yes.
So we should at least fact that the Titans won on Thursday night. They did, and they also won in very Titans fashion where they were down in the first half.
They vacated if no one could play. No, if no one could play.
But I'm pretty sure the SEC has been playing by different COVID rules the entire time. They have, but this is not an SEC game.
No, but I think they still have jurisdiction over like they get to decide that. I don't think so.
I don't think it's conference by conference. I'm, like, 99% sure that it's not conference by conference.
These rules are by the College Football Playoff Management Committee. Yeah.
That's not the NCAA. Yeah, College Football Management Committee, whatever.
So they're going to just make sure they play. The overlords are in charge of all this.
They'll just make sure they play. Oh, they're going to play.
But, yeah, I'm just saying, like, I trust. I feel like Harbaugh is locked in on this one.
So, yeah, Titans won. There you go.
Titans won. Congratulations.
Yeah, Titans fans are very ornery. Jimmy Garoppolo.
They get very upset. Has a finger.
It's been the year of the finger. Yep.
Jimmy Garoppolo had maybe the worst performance of any quarterback that had kind of a decent stat line, at least at halftime. I think it was like 14 for 18 at halftime, but all of his misses were either interceptions or should have been interceptions.
Yeah. And then we didn't even bring up the John Lynch liking a tweet at Christmas mass, which was all time.
I think that's actually just Rico. He just took a playbook out of Rico Bosco's playbook because it's...
Rico goes to church? Well, whenever bad things happen, he does. Yeah.
And he basically was like, hey, everyone talking about me liking this tweet saying that Jimmy Garoppolo is bad. Just so you know, I'm in church right now with my family on Christmas Eve.
Yeah, well... So shut up.
If John Lynch thought that that was a good excuse, he's also saying, yeah, I was just scrolling Twitter. Yeah.
was just I was checking my ads also it's totally believable because Jimmy Garoppolo had a terrible game very bad he has been playing well but he that was a game that the Niners should have won and Jimmy Garoppolo like that was I don't know who said it but it was basically the Colts and the Niners are the same team their Spider-Man meme where it's like their roster is really good have a ton of really talented players. You just hold your breath that Carson Wentz or Jimmy G won't do something crazy.
Yeah, Jimmy G. And they both have played well this year at times.
Who is it? Was it Harrison Ford, the guy that he's crashed like four planes? Yes. Yeah, he can't stop.
Yeah, so when you say that Jimmy Garoppolo going 14 for 18 is a good thing. That's like saying Harrison Ford has completed 14 out of his 18 flights.
Because when it goes bad, it goes real bad for Jimmy G. But speaking of good quarterback play, Tua, I don't like what Louis Riddick said.
He said possible franchise quarterback. But the Dolphins are now, they've done the impossible.
They've lost seven games in a row. They won the first game, lost seven games in a row they won the first game lost seven games in a row won seven games in a row an insane season they're eight and seven they control their own destiny Jake like what's your Dolphin fever at right now it's nice I'll be honest I was kind of bummed out yesterday so I wasn't because I wasn't yeah focused too much on, I should correct myself.
Kekala Keneho, cornerback, not linebacker.

Oh, wow.

I would have made that.

Okay.

So you would have.

It's a good thing we got canceled.

We dodged a bullet here.

Everything happens for a reason.

Disaster.

Getting ahead of it.

I would have written a letter and mailed it.

Yeah.

But no, it's crazy that they're in this position.

They kind of did the same thing a few years ago with Tannehill and Adam Gase.

Right.

They won like eight in a row or something like that.

They ended up with like ten wins or something.

Yeah, they got in the playoffs.

No, they got in the playoffs.

That was last year.

Was that the game in Pittsburgh?

Yes.

When Matt Moore got fucking smoked and it was just candy-ass uniforms in the cold?

Yeah.

They started like one in five and then they made the playoffs.

It's crazy.

I mean, the Dolphins are – I don't know if they're good because they have played.

No one.

No one. A hilarious list.
The list of quarterbacks is very, very funny. They've won.
They have won. And then they got to add Ian Book, which I did enjoy that it became just an indictment on Notre Dame.
All the stats were flying. It was 24 games in a row that a Notre Dame quarterback has lost in the NFL last time a Notre Dame quarterback won a start was Brady Quinn in like 2012 I think and then there was also the stat that the last time a Notre Dame player attempted a pass in the playoffs was 2006 and it was actually the punter for the Colts because the blocking got fucked up, and he just tried to shovel the ball.
So it was a 16-yard loss, and that was the last time a Notre Dame player attempted a pass in the playoffs. And you had Ian Book being the first ever Ian to start a game at quarterback.
So I didn't know that about Ian. I would have thought that actually you know that tracks because ian is a hundred percent like a moxie backup quarterback name or not a store reporter or reporter one of the two and bubba pointed this out to me about ian book like because we all we all know in book remember he started like infinity games at no game he lost the eye black yeah that's that's where he went wrong he used to be the biggest eye black guy in college football when he played.

And then he's going to play a game under the bright lights of Monday Night Football.

And you come out there like just raw dog in the sun.

You should have played Portals in.

You should have put Portals in.

And actually, so it's funny.

Ian Book's performance was so bad.

It didn't really look like he was playing football. Or he looked like a good athlete that has been convinced to try out to play football.
like hey you're gonna you look like greg paulis if greg paulis made it to the nfl and he was so bad that he's actually the reason why the nfl said okay you know what we got it we got changed the rules it's the ian book rule yes it's like okay we it's reached rock bottom we have to change everything because we can't have another performance like this. It's basically the same thing as Kenny Pickett's charge, the slide that got immediately revoked right after.
Roger Goodell saw this performance and was like, let's just not test anymore because this is worse than coronavirus. Also, Alvin Kamara, I've never seen someone just not want to be there more than he did on Monday night.
I don't blame him. No.
Because Ian Book, like, basically every single play was the same. He would look through his progressions, not see anything, or throw a pick six for a touchdown.
And then at the very last second, he would dump it off to Camaro, who already had a linebacker, like, going full speed at him. And he was just like fuck this dude like there was there was one specifically where he dumped it off to Kamara I think it was a third and like eight and Kamara was three yards behind the line of scrimmage and he dumped it off to him and Kamara just got fucking smoked it was like why did you do that dude why would you throw that to me I don't want the ball there was the other play in his playbook where he would just drop back and immediately sprint to the right and run out of bounds as he was throwing the ball yeah and that ball would usually land out of bounds or in a defender's hands at the same time it was it was tough watching and fuck drew breeze fuck drew breeze for for sending that smarmy ass text back when they're like please drew can you please come back and play for us again he's like no i here golfing.
Guess what, Drew? You ever think it's about somebody besides yourself? Would have been nice. And your sons, not your daughter, your sons, because we would have liked to watch some actual football on Monday Night Football.
Fuck Drew Brees. He should have done that.
He's selfish. He's selfish for not coming back and making America experience the Ian Book game because it wasn't even entertaining bad.
It was just, I zoned out in about the third quarter. I was like, I will not, I'm waterboarding myself by watching this.
Do you know what I'll say what Ian Book did, though? He gave us good perspective, how hard it is to play quarterback. That's true.
Because Ian Book was a good college football quarterback, and it looked like he had never played quarterback. Yeah.
That's how hard it is to play in the NFL. They should have put in Blake, though.
It really did look, though. You watch it, you're like, has this guy ever played football before? No.
He was a really good quarterback at Notre Dame, and he got drafted by the Saints. And who knows? Maybe with enough time, he just wasn't ready.
I don't know. I'm not going to judge Ian Book.

I'm not going to judge a book by its cover just from that game.

But it was bad.

It was very, very bad.

It was bad.

I'm boycotting Drew Brees, though.

I'm not going to watch his picks on Sunday Night Football.

Nice.

I'm going to turn away from the TV like fans used to do for the opening acts of Metallica

when they go out on tour.

I'm not going to watch Drew Brees.

Fuck Drew Brees for making me watch that.

Also, they should have put in Blake Bortles. Yep.
Are you telling me that Blake couldn't have gone out there and done any better? I think he definitely could have. I think Blake would have at least been cool to watch.
He would have had a good time. He also had a really good-looking beard.
He's done a really good job with his beard manicure where it almost looks like if he didn't have his hat on, he'd have hair. He looks good in black, too.
Yeah, he does look good in black.

Slimming.

Very good.

Yep.

Yeah, so that was Monday Night Football.

We are now careening towards week 17

where it feels like everything's going to get decided.

We will do our picks after Jim McElwain.

Everyone's texted their picks to memes, so we'll get into all that.

Let's do Hot Seat Cool Throw, and then we'll get to Jim McElwain.

PFT, you had a quick word from one of our sponsors.

Yeah, before we'll get into all that. Let's do Hot Seat, Cool Throne, then we'll get to Jim McElwain.
PFT, you had a quick word from one of our sponsors. Yeah, before we get to Hot Seat, Cool Throne, I want to talk to you guys about Pepsi.
We love Pepsi. I'm always drinking Pepsi.
Pepsi is delicious. It's what I drink when I'm watching football.
And this year we're highlighting one team's trash plays to throw out and another team's great plays to recycle into next week with Pepsi's trash talk sustainability platform. So let's talk it out for trash.
I'm going to throw out. I'm going to throw out the Dallas Cowboys running up the score against the Washington football team.
I think that was classless. They're trash.
The Cowboys are trash. They're actually very good.
But I'm still I'm so bitter about that because it's I got roasted. I put up a tweet online.
I showed the jacket that I was wearing, but I walked into his sheets on Monday morning and the guy at the cash register started holding his nose and be like something stinks in here. What's rotten? And then he goes, oh, wait, it's just your jacket.
And he just owned me in front of the entire gas station. It was a great own.
It was a solid burn. But I have to deal with that from Dallas fans for the next year now, which is great.
So I'm going to say the Dallas Cowboys, trashing that whole classless performance for something to recycle. You know what I really like? I like the waddle.
I like the waddle waddle. When Waddle scores a touchdown, he does the cute little waddle.
That was the best part of the game. Billy, you look like you have something to say.
I love the waddle. It was so cute.
Zach Wilson's play. Zach Wilson.
Longest quarterback rush in Jets history. That's pretty awesome.
Okay, let's recycle that one, too. Yeah.
Run that back next week. Do it, Zach Wilson.
It's going to be, would you say, like, the Jets are low-key lit? Low-key electric. Low-key electric, yeah.
So this is brought to you by Pepsi's Trash Talk Sustainability Platform.

Know the difference.

Make a difference.

Be a team player and recycle.

All right.

Hot seat, cool thrown.

Hank Stott here.

Anyone from the booth?

Bubba, do you have one?

Or TJ?

Or memes?

Three-man booth right now.

Negative.

Okay.

All right, PFT, let's start with you. Okay, my hot seat is statistics and probability because Josh Allen has won 13 out of 16 coin tosses this season.
That's wild. Wow.
That's not coincidence. No.
I don't know if he's sticking with tails or if he's going back and forth switching back and forth between head getting head as well as the tails but he's uh he's on a fucking run right now and he's nine straight he's hit nine straight in a row oh i actually found this tweet uh the probability of hitting nine straight is 0.1953 so josh allen is uh defying all the stats nerds probably the same losers that were like, don't draft Josh Allen, are the same ones that will tell you that it hits 50% of the time. I love it.
Tails, according to this empirical evidence, Tails hits 13 out of 16 times. So take that to the bank.
That's dominant. That's a dominant performance.
That's a franchise quarterback. I also heard that if you flick a penny, if you spin a penny, not flip it up in the air, but if you spin it by flicking it on a table, it falls down headside up, I think, 80% of the time.
Because a new penny, it's heavier on the tail end. Oh, shit.
We should cut this. So we should cut that and then win a lot of money from Hank.
Hustle on people. We should hustle Hank.
Oh, he won't listen to this.

And then my cool throne is the Minnesota Vikings.

The Vikings on the cool throne because they brought in my guy, Kyle Slaughter.

Kyle Slaughter, the best preseason quarterback that you've ever seen,

has not gotten a chance to start a game in the NFL.

And he's literally good.

Kyle Slaughter is literally good.

In preseason.

In preseason.

And he's also like my little pet project because I feel like I'm the only one that's going to stand on the table for Kyle Slaughter. No one gives him any shine.
He's got a bad rap. He's gotten bad luck.
He gets signed, released, signed, released. Just start Kyle Slaughter, Minnesota.
And it's weird because I think Mannion is the backup to Kirk Cousins, right? And Mannion is in the COVID protocol. Kirk Cousins was probably hanging out around Mannion.
Facts. So they got Slaughter.
They put him on the active roster immediately for Sunday. I feel like we might be getting some Slaughter this Sunday.
I think so, too. Slaughter boat.
I think so, too. All aboard.
All right. My hot seat is Future Me, which we talked about Because we cancelled all those plans And it was a thrill in the moment To not have to jump out of a plane But this is going to I'm sure this is going to end badly I think there's just a rule in life That if you have anything Like a flight cancellation Or like a weird happenstance delay Then you hop on the next one Or you are supposed to jump out of a plane today and you're going to do it in a year from now i will die i will die in a year from or like i would have you might be on a plane where you have to know how to jump out of it like a plane that's about to crash yeah and they hand you a parachute and they're like all right big cat do you know how to do this once but yeah they're like do you know how to do this and you're, I forgot.
It's been a while. Yeah, but doesn't it feel like just the odds? Like, I probably will die next year.
Well. I probably would have been fine tomorrow or today.
No, no, 2022, everything's different once the year changes. It has crossed my mind, though.
That's one of those things you tempt fate. When you cancel a plan like that, something's going to happen bad next year.
I think you can always say. But I have another another year to worry about you can do the mark walberg and be like you know that flight it actually would have gone down yeah i didn't get on it i didn't get on it um and then my cool throne is antonio brown because we talked about it on sunday but he is being framed by the media i don't know if you guys saw but someone compiled an entire list of things that he's done yeah um i'll just read off some of it because this is it's crazy how much the media has made up stuff about antonio brown to try to get him to be seen as a bad guy so what we're going to do right now is we're going to read all the things that the media has made up right right okay so these are things media has made up that he might have done kicked out of florida international university after fighting a security guard uh Don't touch me.
I'm the franchise, he said.

His second year in the league, he took a personal stretch limo to a charity event,

had them open every single expensive bottle of wine, rejected it,

refused to pay for it, charity, and then left.

Threw fits over not getting enough targets,

drove 100 miles an hour down McKnight Road in Pittsburgh,

which has a 45-mile-per-hour speed limit.

I like how they just threw in what the speed limit was. Yeah, yeah, that's it mattered if it was a 60 mile an hour speed limit.
Kill the home aquarium full of piranhas and refuse to pay the man who installed the tank. OK, piranhas are man eating fish.
Yeah, this sounds like he saved some lives. This was definitely written by a Steelers fan because refuse to play week 17 for the Steelers.
Who could forget? I do remember that. I remember he had the big coat on? Yeah, yeah.
And didn't Mike Tomlin be like, that's the first time that he said, I want volunteers, not hostages. Yeah.
So I think it takes two to tango there. Died his mustache blonde.
Yeah, we talked about that. Refused to pay a chef because he thought he threatened him by placing a fish head in the freezer.
The fish head was saved to make a soup. I love the fact that Antonio Brown's opening up his freezer and he sees a fish head and he thinks that he's in the Godfather.
Yeah. Farted on a doctor.
Okay. You're allowed to do that.
Doctors get farted on all the time. I disagree.
They're a healthcare professor. They specialize in the human body.
This was definitely because he's done some some real stuff, but this was definitely still demanding a trade from the Steelers. Go back to the farted on a doctor one.
That's HIPAA. Yeah, it is.
It's on tape. Unless he's, oh.
That's also HIPAA. There's actually a video.
Of him farting on the doctor? Yeah. It's HIPAA to retweet that.
Did he lift his leg? If you lift your leg, I think it's a crime. If you don't, then it's just plausible deniability that it just happened.
But if you do the leg lift, like, here he goes, I'm going to fart on you, that's fucked up. What kind of doctor was it? That matters.
Proctologists, fart away. They need to be able to tell if you're healthy.
Yeah, that's true. Demanded a trade from the Steelers.
That's, again, a Steelers fan. That's pretty bad, yeah.
Became Mr. Big Chest.
I think that's a positive. I think this list is actually proving Antonio Brown's point.
Yes, he killed a lot of piranhas. So far, the worst thing that you've said has been that he killed a bunch of piranhas.
Probably the same fish that his chef was leaving frozen in his freezer. Some of these are also signed with Patriots, moved in with Tom Brady.
And then the next one is the sexual assault allegations came out. That seems like more serious than signed with the Patriots, moved in with Tom Brady.
Died his mustache blonde. Whoever made this list didn't really prioritize actual things.
Okay. A couple bad things Antonio Brown's done.
One, he requested a trade. Two, he raped a chick.
Yeah. Three.
It's like, wait. Three, three he died his mustache blonde so you decide which one's bad guy yeah bad guy yeah this list is uh all over the place threatened the woman not suing him in a group text that included his lawyer and had a picture of her kids in text that was bad i remember that that way he is a bad guy for for that shit there's some bad things he's done but i think this list actually proves his point that when they try to get him for farting on the doctor, the media's run amok.
He also, you remember the video when he got released from the Raiders? Yeah. That was an all-timer.
This, yeah, I think this actually now threw a bag of gummy candy dicks at the cops in a video he posted. I forgot about that.
Got dropped by his agent. Oh, man.
That's tough. Well, actually, if you're all over the place, you're the best wide receiver in the NFL.
And Drew Rosenhouse is like, I can't work with you. Yeah, that's probably the biggest indictment.
Here's another one. Rumors spread about AB signing with Tampa or Seattle.
Yeah, and he did eventually get to Tampa. He got traded to the Bills for four hours.
This is the best scorned lover list of all time where they just didn't. They buried the actual sexual assault and all this actual bad stuff to past the guy making soup with the fish head.
All right. So Antonio Brown.
He called Mike Mayock a cracker. Yeah, he did.
Yes, he did. He tried to fight Mike Mayock.
Yeah, that should be on here. He was on a Madden cover.
Madden 19. He was? Yeah.
Wow. Yeah.
Oh, called out Robert Kraft for his rub and tug session in Florida. That is quite a crime.
That's a real crime. I wish Hank was here to defend that.
Started training for a boxing match with Logan Paul. That's cool.
Also, his wife NFL fans are the best. Like that dude, the Cowboys guy who brings a puppet to the game.
NFL fans, they've all lost their minds. And I consider myself in that lost their mind crew where this just tickles me to no end.
Speaking of the Paul brothers, did you see that Jake Paul wants to play safety in the NFL? Yeah. And his whole explanation behind it is like, I guarantee you my ratings would be through the roof of the league.
That's what we're going towards these days. It's just like the Paul brothers are just influencers getting to do whatever sport that they want.
Yeah. And then Logan Paul made a coffee table out of Game Boys and everyone flipped out.
They're like, how could you waste those Game Boys? Who the fuck is playing Game Boy? Like, Game Boy came out 20 years ago. Does anyone, like, man, I really wish I could find a Game Boy right now.
Right, if it was Nintendo Switches, I'd be like, that's fucked up. Like, oh, come on, dude, give those to a kid for Christmas.
Game Boy, if you gave a Game Boy to a kid, like a five-year-old kid right now and like, here, play Tetris, they'd throw that thing in your fucking face. That's not a video game.
They'd go to Judge and be like, I need to be emancipated from my dad because he's poor. Yeah, they'd be like, why are you making me go to school? Yeah.
Like, Tetris is basically school. I actually think that a coffee table made out of Game Boys is the perfect use for Game Boys.
Yeah. That's awesome.
Oh, man. I loved fucking Game Boy.
I loved Game Boy. All right.
Billy, you go. My hot seat is Davos Swinney for promo in the Cheez-It Bowl.
They're posing in front of the trophy, showing off their new team apparel. And the Clemson team apparel just looks like a prison jumpsuit.
Yeah. Orange prison jumpsuit.
It looks like a cream skull. When jumpsuit January goes bad.
Exactly. Looks like a Cheez-It.
It's not January yet. It also makes you look more orange when you're wearing all orange.
I've noticed that. My original hot seat, but now is my cool throne, is Big Cat's pinky.
Yeah. Earlier today, we heard that Carson Wentz was going to be on the COVID list.
Before the rule change, this put Sam Ellinger as the noted starter for Sunday's game against the Raiders. Unfortunately, because of the NFL rule change, Sam Ellinger will not be starting, meaning that his historic Super Bowl run, which I was hoping was going to happen with Sam Ellinger stepping in and taking the Colts to the next level to win the Super Bowl.
I knew it was bad when they were on the bottom line, the crawl that was going across every channel, was just calling him presumptive starter, Sam Ellinger. If he was actually going to start, I feel like they just would have been like, Sam is going to start the game.
But it was like, I guess we're going to do the Sam Ellinger thing. Yeah.
I've seen some people being like, you're not actually going to do it. First of all, it's the tip of my pinky.
It's the nail up. Second of all, it's essentially like a tattoo.
Like, I'd have a story for the rest of my life. Why are you missing the nub of your...
Why do you have the tip of your pinky gone? Well, the Colts started 0-3 in 2021, and they won the Super Bowl. It will suck, but I will do it.
There's a nail up. That's nothing.
They got to raise your pinky, the tip of your pinky to the rafters. They have that AFC finalist band.
No, I'll wear it as a necklace. Fuck that.
Put it in a little formaldehyde. There's a lot of guys that injure.
It's like Jaws. Right.
Yeah, people. Shark tooth.
If you see someone with a nub, you automatically are like, oh, what happened, dude? You got to start shaking hands with your left hand. Yeah, it's not as cool as saying like, yeah, people.
Shark tooth. Like, if you see someone with a nub, you automatically like, oh, what happened, dude?

You got to start shaking hands with your left hand.

Yeah, it's not as cool as saying like, oh, I was, you know, manual labor.

I got bit by a shark. It's, I'm a fucking idiot and I have shit for brains and I didn't think Carson Wentz

could ever win a Super Bowl.

A little bit of a different story, but still a story.

It's still not going to happen.

I'm convinced that the Colts, they're a nice team, but I don't see them getting past the second round. Here's what will make me really nervous, is if the Titans somehow lose their last two games and the Colts win the AFC South.
If the Colts win the AFC South and get a home playoff game to start and Carson Wentz only has to win twice on the road to get to the Super Bowl, that will make me officially nervous. If they have to win three, like right now, what would it, I think they would maybe play, I think it would be a pretty tough game to start the playoffs because they would be the wild card.
So that makes me feel a little bit better knowing. Right now they're the five that would be at Buffalo, which is what it was last year.
Right. So I don't know.
I mean, obviously they kicked the shit out of Buffalo at Buffalo, but having to go play at Buffalo, then at KC, that's a lot. I'm talking myself into it not happening.
I don't think so. But I definitely, it is the most nervous I've been since the original year where the Texans won nine in a row and got to the playoffs.
We also need to start having a conversation about realignment in the NFL. What are the Colts doing in the South? Cowboys in the East.
What are the Cowboys doing in the East? Yeah. Why is...
They should replace Indianapolis. You just want to get...
Indianapolis should go to the West, and then Denver should be in the South. Yeah.
The Bissonette. Yep.
Divisions. All right.
Billy, is that it? Also, Dana White, he challenged... Speaking of the Paul brothers, he challenged Jake Paul to, Jake Paul called him a coke head, and Dana White said, I will exchange one random steroid test on you for 10 years of cocaine tests on me.
Yeah, because he doesn't have hair that they can cut out. That's how they test coke.
Right. Also, coke gets out of your system in like two days, and steroids.
Dana White is the smoothest man in the history of the planet.

I don't think that he has any follicles that you can check.

They're also so rich they're doing drugs that you can't test for.

Exactly.

They've got the limitless pills.

Yeah, right.

Exactly.

I'm not worried about that.

Jake.

My hot seat is Shad Khan, the owner of the Jaguars.

It was announced that they are keeping their GM and Jags fans are now changing their Twitter

avatars to clown faces with Khan's mustache. It is.
So Tony Khan is a friend of the program. I have seen a lot of the clown.
Uncle Chaps did that. He made his avatar a clown.
The Jaguars, and this goes for the Giants as well, I do not understand teams that don't flush it all out. Like if you're going to have your GM be kind of there, but also then you're going to hire a coach and like your GM you're already nervous about or like the Giants have done or the Bears are thinking about keeping pace but firing Nagy.
Like if your team is an abject failure, just flush the fucking thing out. It's kind of like being an alcoholic and saying'm going to switch to beer yeah because whiskey makes me fight and stab people so just the loggers from now on i'll be fine you should clean house like the old bill parcells thing change the carpets change everything about the place bring people in but i will say that when it comes to when it comes to ownership i would i would commit murder to have shod khan be the owner of the football team instead of Dan Snyder.
It could get a lot worse. I don't think – and to clarify, I would murder Dan Snyder.
No one else. But I don't think that it's fair to put this on Khan because, yeah, maybe he should probably think about somebody else besides Balky because Balky is the guy that hired Urban Meyer.
Well, and also Balky is – that was a spite pairing against Jim Harbaugh. It was Urban Meyer and Balky.
Balky, remember, had a big falling out with Jim Harbaugh in San Francisco. So it felt like a big FU to him.
It's falling apart. Jim Harbaugh's in the college football playoff.
Maybe get rid of the spite. Maybe it's bad karma.
I go off karma. I would own a team off karma.
Like, I would i would definitely make moves like hey the karma's not working here like michigan's gotten better and urban meyer and ohio state and trent balky have gotten worse we got to get something else going on here yeah i i don't hate i think that shag khan's fine he's not the problem he's not the problem jacksonville we'll see who they hire this time they just need to figure out a way to to not it. The only way that they could make it as bad as Urban Meyer, if they try to do the same thing again, if they try to go after Dabo, then you're like, wait, you really haven't learned anything whatsoever.
No, I think Byron Lefkowitz would make sense. Lefkowitz.
I think Doug Peterson. Doug Peterson would be great.
He was a good coach for a long time in Philadelphia. Won a Super Bowl.

He got to watch the football team in the playoffs last year.

It actually is crazy when you say Doug Peterson won a Super Bowl in Philly

like four years or five years ago.

He just doesn't have a job right now.

Yeah.

It's a weird thing.

And also Caldwell, Jim Caldwell.

Yeah.

The guy took the Lions to the playoffs twice, I think.

And Kellen Moore.

He's basically a wizard.

Yeah.

Well, that's going to be funny because they're going to interview Kellen Moore. And Dan Quinn.
And Dan Quinn. So they're going to go back to the whole, like, Gus Bradley.
We're going to get a former Pete Carroll defense coordinator, bald head, goatee. Right.
Got it. Dan Quinn's coming.
Jerry Jones might fire Mike McCarthy before the end of the season, even if they're still in the playoffs.

If the Jaguars tell Kellen Moore, like,

we want to hire you right now to be your next head coach,

Jerry Jones might be like, see you later, Mike.

We're riding with Kellen from this point on.

Yes, yes.

All right, your cool throne?

Cool throne is squid game.

Looks like we're going to get two more seasons of that.

I don't know if it'll hit the same, like we saw with Tiger King.

They had second season.

I haven't watched the first season.

I have to still hear about it, so we'll see if it picks up track squid game is uh it's good it's a good it's a good program i have it's on my list of things to watch after football season yeah i just don't have time it hit during cuffing season so that's why i think it's had that like tiger king cult feel wait what do you think cuffing season is no that's like netflix and chill getting cold. Yeah, but that's not...
When is cuffing season? That's not... When it starts to get cold.
No. Didn't it come out in September? Yeah, that's when it started to get cold.
No, that's... No.
Cuffing season starts like right now. Cuffing season starts when football season's over and guys are like, okay, I can pretend to be emotionally available.
Till March Madness.

Cuffing season begins in October last until just after Valentine's Day. When is that?

I think that's too early for cuffing season.

It is too early.

When did Squid Game come out?

Squid Game was, I think, September 17th.

But that's not when it got popular.

Yes, it is.

That's not when it started.

When does cuffing season actually start?

If it starts October 1st, that's wrong.

It's an overnight station.

It begins in October.

October 1st is still summer.

That's not cuffing.

No, no, no.

As far as I'm concerned, cuffing season starts January. I think cuffing season starts right about now.
Like right between Thanksgiving and December. The person you kiss on New Year's Eve leads to the cuff.
Yeah, yeah. And you maybe kiss them beforehand.
You're really... That's when you kiss and you're like, that was magical.
I actually want to know if. You fucked him and now you kissed him.
Is anybody out there, are you in a long-term relationship or married to a person that you kissed for the very first time when the ball dropped on New Year's Eve? That's magical. One day when I have kids, I'm going to tell them that was the first time your mom and I kissed.
Absolutely. I'm just going to gonna make up a lie that absolutely has happened um and then every year it's just as good as the the first time yep right on new year's uh okay except for when there's college football playoffs that steal all of our new year's uh all right let's get to jim macklewin coach of central michigan obviously we taped this before the the bowl game got canceled so we're excited to talk about the matchup with boise state and the arizona bowl that will sound funny listening to but great interview with a uh big time football guy who's been in football for a very very long time okay we now welcome on a very special guest it is coach jim mcelwain head coach coach of Central Michigan, Fire Up Chips.
They are in the Barstool Sports Arizona Bowl. We're going to run this the day before the bowl game, so tomorrow, tune in.
It's going to be great. Coach, very happy to have you on.
Let's start with the bowl game. How are we feeling about the matchup with Boise, and are you you excited personally excited to be in the the first ever Barstool Sports Arizona bowl game I gotta tell you when we uh when we got it announced to us the energy in our team room uh you know we were having dinner and the kids the coaches I mean just to be part that look we're all fans I mean we love what you guys do and uh you know for us to be able to go out there and be a part of it man we're we're really excited yes absolutely i'm very very pumped yeah i love i love your team by the way i love watching central michigan daniel richardson's i i actually made a tweet uh that was maybe not kind because when he first came onto the scene, I was like, I love this short, fat quarterback.
He's not fat. He told me he's not fat, but he just bombs it.
He bombs it, and I love how he plays. You know what? He is – to see his progress and the way he's come, and like I said, you know, he delivers a ball, and he's very catchable, and he's got a great understanding of the game and handles the RPO game as well as I see a guy do it.
And I'm proud of him just to see his growth. And he's a great leader.
So he's fun to have on this team. Yeah, we're excited to have you guys in this bowl game.
It's going to be awesome. I was actually – I was doing some research on you.
And by research, I mean I looked at your Wikipedia page, and there was a very fun fact on there that I wanted to dive in with you real quick on. It says that you were roommates with Colin Coward when you were in college.
Colin, yeah. Is that true? Well, we weren't technically roommates.
So we hung out at the same, you know, at the same time doing the same stuff. In fact, I didn't know whether he ever went to class because I mean, every day you'd go up to the, you know, gym rat, you know, playing shoot, playing basketball.
I think he was in there every single hour that the that the place was open, but no, we, we got to know each other and obviously he's had an unbelievable career and, and man, he's, he's a lot of fun to listen to too. Yeah.
Do you ever recall him eating soup ever? Cause he always talks about how much soup he eats, but I don't, I don't actually think that he's a broth head. No, I broth head.
But at Eastern Washington, it probably wasn't about the soup as much as it was to get the cheap beer. You know, I mean, that was really our deal.
Yes, yes, absolutely. So, you know, I think a lot of people remember you coaching at Florida because big-time program.
Central Michigan, in my opinion, is also a big-time program. But I want to talk about your time at Central Michigan you inherited a 1-11 team and then the next year you turn them around you get to the MAAC championship you win the MAAC West um how like I know this sounds stupid but how do you do that like is it just culture is it you know because we see it all the time and it always impresses, guys who are able to come into a bad situation and get results almost instantly with not a huge change of roster and talent.

Yeah, no, I, you know, I mean, it's a lot to do with who you surround yourself with. I've been fortunate at all our stops to have great staff, people, everybody on the same page.
And the most important thing is the kids know we really care about. And I think that's probably from day one walking in here.
Same thing we did at Colorado State. Same thing we did at Florida was, you know, they've got to feel it.
They've got to know that you're there for them.

And I think probably a knock on me is I am a player's coach. I just love these kids.
I love to see them be successful and do everything we can to help them. So, but I think that was a big piece.
And that was part of the buy-in when we got here. And quite honestly, I think they were a little embarrassed, you know, from the year before.
So credit those kids for stepping up and building the program into, you know, we've got a pretty good thing going on here. Yeah.
When you say that you're a players coach, do you do anything like, do you have any unusual motivational tactics or do you do like a turnover chain type thing or dive into that a little bit? You know, I haven't bought into that stuff. You know, I'm still trying to figure out how to use my iPhone.
So, you know, all that kind of stuff I'm not real big on. But I think the things that we do for them, you know, and we listen.
You know, I meet with everybody on the team, you know, four times a year, just just one-on-one just to get to know them and find out about what makes them tick. And the biggest piece there, I think, is listening.
And they know they can always walk in this office and I'll be here for them. And that's kind of been every, my career all along, you know, and, uh, you know, you get into this business, you get in it for the kids and, uh, just to see them.
And now being in at 34, 35 years, whatever it is, um, now seeing kids you coached have kids, you know, and use some of the same phrases that you did when you were coaching them uh with their own kids um it's it's pretty awesome okay another spot you had uh in your coaching like you said 35 years was with Alabama under Nick Saban and so I wanted to ask you this because it's a little different now there seems like like every coach just goes through the wash in Alabama. You were there from the beginning, and Coach Saban said a couple weeks ago that the fans were happy when they won a game at the beginning.
Now they're not happy with winning SEC titles and being successful, 11 wins every year. What was it like in the beginning at Alabama for a guy like Saban to change that around and to turn that around? And, like, what are the program recipes that he puts in to make them a monster? Well, I mean, to start with, I mean, look, arguably the greatest ever in what he does and what he's been able to do.
I learned so much. His detail is incredible and he never sits the same.
You know, it's always, you're always doing something new. You're always getting better.
Right. He's a firm believer in, you know, you can't stay the same.
You're either getting better or getting worse. Right.
And, and for him and the program, what they did and allowed him to do from the get go, I think is an administration in the university is they cut them loose, you know, and let them go do his job. And, you know, that it's a Testament to what he's been able to do, but I got to tell you, I learned so much from him.
And it was a very simple message he gave all of us was, look, all I want you to do is work hard and be complete in what you do. You know, and if we all kind of did that, then we all have a pretty good chance of being successful.
Yeah. Did he ever out like uh some of the famous you know lane kiffin uh any of those moments where he gave it to you maybe on the sideline or in practice well i think they were probably more than a couple um but it usually had to do with uh you know maybe when we uh did some good things offensively against his defense

you know yeah true you know but um no he he uh and it was never and if he ever does that i mean it's not personal you know i mean that some guys you know like you know i'm getting at I mean, it's probably well-deserved, you know, when it does happen.

But, you know. You know what I'm getting at? It's probably well-deserved when it does happen.
But his competitive nature, man, he is one of the most competitive guys you'll ever be around. Yeah.
It's like when you're up 40-14 against Tennessee in the fourth quarter and there's a false start, and then he just rips into one of the coaches on the sidelines. That's the stuff that we laugh at a little bit on TV because it's like, relax, man, you win by 30 points.
Everything will be fine. But that's, I guess, what makes him such a great coach is he doesn't care and he just wants excellence, right? Well, and that's right.
And it isn't, you know, it's about the personal performance and how you perform. And, you know, I just got to tell you, man, he's a great guy to be around.

He's actually a lot more fun than maybe comes across. And there are no surprises.
I think that's what was great working with him. You know, there was never a, you know, a surprise.
You knew exactly the plan and what was next. and, you know, I get a real kick out of how he balls, you know, with the game.
I think you see it over and over again. So and he always has a plan to get the program better, whether it's in facilities, whether it's in, you know, mental conditioning coaches, whether it's in, you know, there's always something that is new that he does, and he's able to keep it fresh.
Yeah, and you stopped by Michigan for a little bit with our friend Coach Harbaugh, all-time football guy there. And we actually had Frank Gore on the show a couple weeks ago, and he was talking to us about how when coach Harbaugh was in San Francisco he would still take some reps sometimes at quarterback and so you're the wide receiver coach at Michigan did he ever get some like one-on-one work with your guys he's like let me see if the arm still got it you know what he would and he still sling it now he uh he every now and then he'll go out and he'll throw some routes and and do that kind of stuff.
You talk about another really, really good dude. I mean, he is really a good dude.
I got one last Saban question. So the famous stat that we would see every single time he'd go up against a former assistant of his finally got broken this year when Jimbo beat him.
Did you reach out to Jimbo and you're like, thanks, thank you. I appreciate that because I was sick of my name being up on ESPN every year, like three times a year whenever he went up against an assistant and beat him.
Yeah, you know, the first time he beat us, you know, I took a Colorado State team in there. I think we might have been a little overmatched.
But, no, I tell you what it is, though. I think that's really a credit to him, you know, to Coach.
And you look at the tree that he's produced, pretty impressive. You know, a lot of guys out there.
Yeah, yeah. All right, so you spent some time with our good friend Caleb.
That video is going to be coming out probably the same time that this show comes out. So can we talk about it? Because it sounds like you actually I talked to Caleb.
He says that you had some good fun with it. And I think that we can finally put it to rest.
If you don't know what I'm talking about, it's the famous shark photo that was not Jim McElwain. But people accused of it being Jim McElwain it was basically like a message board run wild internet story now when that happened when you first saw it was there a small part of you that was like wait is that me you know I mean I actually was kind of like wow this guy does look like me And so, you know, to meet the actual person and to hear the story behind it, you know, it actually – so, you know, I grew up in Montana.
You know, it's all about busting guys' chops. I mean, that's what you do every day.
And, you know, I thought it was actually pretty hilarious myself. And then it started to take that life and when when pita starts coming after your ass right you got to be a little careful pita should have been happy with you it looked like that person was having a great time with the shark i in a situation like that i imagine it probably took a few minutes to have it truly sink into you like exactly what was going on and why people were talking that's not something that's in any media you know any media prep sheet or you don't have any training on how to deal with a situation like that it must have felt like it was a just a weird dream that you were living in for a couple days there uh yeah you know the hard part was was it isn't you know it wasn't on me you know as much as you know my kids and my family you know my you know that kind of deal where you know they're having to answer questions like you know and that that i was that then i started scratching my head a little bit when it affects you know the the people around you yeah well i and i think everyone should go watch the video because i talked to caleb before we did this interview and i think that you handled it perfectly, and it's like one of those things that, you know, when you can laugh at yourself and be like, this is ridiculous.
And Caleb got the actual guy and reunited the two of you, which is an all-time internet, like, it's a perfect ending to an internet story. Sure.
Absolutely. You know, you get stuff like that, and I guess,, you know, whatever deadspin or whatever, you know, people like that.
But when like mainstream media started to kind of get behind it, I was getting there going, now wait a minute. And you have to answer to it.
Yes. It's like PFT said, it's not really, you don't learn that.
Uh, I don't think any, any of your mentors at any point were like, all right, well, if there's ever a picture of a guy humping a shark that looks like you, here's what you do. Here's the booklet.
Yeah. There was no game plan on that at all.
I feel like that might have been a Nick Saban special. He was just trying to get under your skin.
He's like, I know how I can deal with this guy. That's exactly right.
But no, I tell, I, I, I tell you what, it was a cool deal. And, you know, to meet the guy, cause I, you know, people had said, you know, the New York, you know, former cop and, you know, all that kinds of stuff.
And, and to actually meet him in person and take a picture with him. I was like, man, this is, this is pretty cool.
Yeah. All right.
So I got that i need an answer to um and you might not remember this one but when you got hired at florida and then they had you guys doing the sec summer tour you had one of the most hellacious sunburns i've ever seen on a person yeah and everyone was like i don't know does coach mackaway know the flor Florida sun is like pretty hot? It was, and you had like, it looked like you'd been wearing sunglasses too. And that was an all timer.
What happened there? Obviously I spent too much time on the boat that day, right out in the lake at flathead. Uh, that was probably what I did, but, uh, that that's like an every year occurrence for me you know you you go ahead and fry yourself and then you know it you know it all it all comes back yeah i and i would imagine that's i mean being part of the sec both as an assistant and a head coach like it's got to be it's just different right like everything becomes a story every Every little thing that you do becomes this big media thing because people are so passionate about football and talking about it in the offseason.
Yeah, that's what's kind of cool about it. You know, I mean, yeah, there's good and bad.
But the one thing is the passion of the people in the South for the game of football. And, you know, playing in those stadiums, they really care about their teams.
And, you know, that's kind of the neat part about being involved in it. And yet, you know, like I said, they'll take whatever and run with it.
There's no doubt about it. Yeah.
And now it seems like you found a good home in Central Michigan.

And I was reading that you now live in a barn.

And we actually have somebody that is close to the show who's a barn living enthusiast.

I think he spent, what, like a year in a barn?

Do you have any tips for anyone who's maybe thinking about becoming a barn dweller?

Well, I'll tell you what. I think whoever, I'm all about it, man.
This is really cool. I mean, what they did here.
The purpose behind it is, you know, in recruiting, what's your point of difference? Well, for us, it's selling our families and our togetherness. And this allows us a space now, bring recruits, bring the players, you know, all that kind of stuff.
And it's actually, it's really cool. I'm glad we did it.
I know that. I think my wife was scratching her head maybe a little bit when, hey, this guy's going to build us a place to live in this barn.
And yet she did a great job of helping design it and and uh it's a place we go after games obviously uh we've been very fortunate to win a lot of home games here so um i think i think my dog when we have she knows whether we won or not you know it's based on the the people count yeah i've been the barn yeah so it sounds like it's a pretty nice barn as far as barns. You're like doing the glamping.
You live the glamorous barn lifestyle. It's like fully decked out, nice little meeting space.
It's not what you think of. Like, there's no hay on the ground.
No, no hay on the ground. No, no, not at all.
It's a really cool place. I, it's a, it's a really cool place.
And I'll say that. And, and, you know, when people come in and we're able to, you know, entertain and do things that way, you know, it's, it's, it's a great spot for it.
So the, I love to ask coaches and players what the hardest place to play is. And usually it's LSU at night or, you know, even the swamp or, or Columbus.
I got to ask you, what's the hardest place to play in the Mac on a Tuesday night in November? Because that's Maction to me. And there's not a lot of fans, maybe, you know what? It might, it might not be sold out, but what is the place that when you go, you're like, all right, we got this circle, going to be it's going to be hairy yeah you know I'd have to say western Michigan um you know and that probably has to do with the rivalry and and that kind of thing and actually we played them um there was actually a pretty good crowd for a weeknight there you know on that I think a lot of people came out but but that that would be one of the places but uh you know i you say about like you know tough places to play i think one of the most underrated places that's a tough place to play is actually at the university of montana in missoula oh yeah let me tell you something now.
That place is 25,000 people every game, and they are rabid, and it is loud. That one, I think, is a little unknown.
Yes. I haven't been in all these other stadiums, but that's as loud a place as you'll ever play.
I like that answer. And you're a Montana guy through and through.
Have you watched Yellowstone? I actually kind of started to because this latest one, they were doing season four. They filmed it in my hometown in Missoula.
A lot of the shots, in fact, the latest episode where they shoot the guys in the diner, that's Ruby's right down road from where i lived so okay uh so i i kind of watch it for that yeah who's your favorite character i'm a i'm a beth guy i like beth yeah i mean she's uh she's a tough one man but i kind of like the rip guy man i mean he just kind of he'll take i like the guys that are kind of like they handle things right and no questions asked yeah that kind of guy like yeah he'll roll up on you with a cooler with a rattlesnake inside that's pretty badass that's right yeah i haven't seen the show so i'm just laughing along I actually have a lot of questions

about the rattlesnake

does he have a rattlesnake farm that he just goes to

and he needs to kill somebody

how long had it been in that cooler

did he just find the rattlesnake on his way to kill the guy

he's like I can use this

I got a lot of outstanding questions about the rattlesnake murder

I'm going to watch the show

watch it for the scenery

yeah

really the reason probably I watch it

more than anything is just because it's

See you next time. It sounds like a great show.
Watch it for the scenery. Yeah.
Really, the reason probably I watch it more than anything is just because it's seeing home. Yeah, yeah.
Where I grew up. And so, you know, the plot and all that, whatever.
But the rest of it, that's what makes it. So I had two last questions.
The first one was we love football guys on this show. We love guys that love football but also find different ways to motivate their teams.
You had a famous way when you went to Central Michigan that you had a no-dead-fish policy. Yeah, no-dead-fish.
To quote you, you said, go ahead and walk by Kroger, take a look at the faces on those fish. If you come into the office like that, get the heck out.
There are no dead fish. I want guys with energy and excitement.
So did you ever have to kick a dead fish out? Absolutely. I mean, you don't want him around, right? I mean, it's like, and I tell him this story like Winnie the Pooh, right? Who wants to be around Eeyore? The guy just makes you miserable, right? Look, life's way too short to be miserable.
So, you know, the whole dead fish thing, and this goes back, obviously, went to school to Eastern Washington, recruited a lot on the coast there in Seattle. And when you see those guys throwing the fish, you know, that fish across the street market,

and then you walk and you look at them, man, them fish are miserable.

Man, if you just think about it. They're dead.

They're dead.

And they got no energy.

They're just dead.

And there's nothing worse than that.

Literally.

There's nothing worse than that.

So what do you say to a guy if he's got dead fish energy?

Are you just like, hey, fix the tube, come back and see me. You got a spark in your soul.
Just toss him out that so what do you say to a guy if he's got dead fish energy are you just like hey fix the tube come back and see me you got a spark in your soul toss them out or what do you do well thank god we're recruiting bigger players now i can't lift them up and toss you know maybe i could have when we were first here but uh no we just it's it's it goes back to kind of like hey what are you selling today right and you know it's we've got a policy here that when you enter the building look all i'm asking for is this time right and and let's let's make the best of it but most importantly let's learn how we affect the people around us in a positive way and that's really what it's all about yeah yeah all right so my last question and a question. Well, actually, you know, it is a question.
So when you left Florida, like we said, the SEC is a tough place to coach. People come at you from all different angles.
Yeah, but I'll tell you what, I had a great time. Yeah.
You know, no regrets. I mean, shoot, kid from Montana having an opportunity to coach at a story place like that.
We've got great friends still from there.

You know, just the disappointing things, you don't get an opportunity to finish it, you know,

because we had some great recruiting classes and we were winning.

So, but, you know.

It's, yeah, the nature of the SEC.

But I wanted to mention, so when you left, you sold your house and, you know,

everyone made the joke because you sold it for a $400,000 loss. everyone's like oh another loss for Jim McElwain turns out you did it because uh you were helping a family with two disabled children so I kind of just want to mention that it's one of those stories you know we talk about all the other stuff we we make fun of coaches or we say something about a coach and then we don't highlight the stuff that they do that maybe they're not doing for publicity because you didn't ask for publicity there.
People busted you up about taking another loss, but you did it for a family. How did that all come about? Well, we had met the family actually through our time there, and they had been by the house a couple times and, and, you know, they had mentioned that just kind of the way it was set up, you know, it was maybe an opportunity, you know, for the kids and, and actually give one, you know, one of the son, maybe a little bit of freedom, you know, from that standpoint, just the way it was set up and, and it just made too much sense, you know? And, you know, there again, it's, it's all about giving.
And that, that's, that's kind of the way I was brought up. And that's what we've always done.
So, you know, not really that big a deal. It was an easy decision, right? Because you knew it was going to go to somebody that needed it.
Yeah. It's a great story, and I love it.
Yeah, it's a great message. Coach, I've been talking to a few football coaches over the years, trying to spread the gospel of the planned downfield lateral becoming more prevalent in football, college football and the NFL, because I actually think that it could change the game.
I think that a coach that can implement smart, planned out, almost rugby-style pitches on certain plays, you see it from time to time with a hook and ladder. But there are other ways that you can scheme open a receiver on a certain play to have a player taking an angle behind him ready for the pitch that's not just the normal hook and ladder.
And I've started to see it a little bit more, at least in the NFL. You saw the Jets do it last week.
The Chiefs have done it a few times. Is that something that you've ever considered putting into your playbook if you do it in a smart way to kind of limit the – to mitigate the risk that might be coming forward with the turnover off of it yeah you know i mean uh some of that stuff actually can even happen just kind of spur of the moment you know you'll see you know a guy getting tackled and his buddy behind him and you know flip it to him too the design piece probably not something that i have really kind of thought about from that standpoint.
We obviously do the rugby part in a lot of our – we've got a couple of those in special teams, you know, that we use and we work on. And then a couple last plays that we work on with the same thing.
But as far as implementing it, you know, in your day-to-day playbook it's actually not a bad idea in fact as soon as i get off i'm going into the offensive staff room right now let's go i love it yeah nickels to pimpleton tell them there you go yeah tell them tell them go pull up some uh some clips of the fijian rugby team and watch how they offload the ball because the coach that figures out how to do it safely is going to change the game of football offensively. It's going to be every other coach is going to have to play catch up to that guy, trying to figure out how they were able to implement it first.
So, you know, baby steps in this, but I want to give you the opportunity to be a trailblazer. I love it.
Baby steps. One of the greatest, you know, what about Bob? Yes.
Baby steps.

One of the greatest ever.

It really is.

It really is.

I'm Dr. Leo Marvin.

Yeah.

Yeah, Dr. Leo Marvin.

Baby steps.

That's right.

Baby steps.

All right, well, Coach, thank you so much.

We'll see you in Arizona.

We're very excited.

I'm on the call, so I got to be unbiased, but I do love Max.

Let's just leave it at that.

Well, I really appreciate you guys taking the time.

And just a total side note, and I think I've said it,

But I think that've said it, but I just want to reiterate it.

What, what, what bar still did during the COVID time and what they did to generate money

for these bar owners and restaurant owners and, you know, people in need to me, that was awesome. Yeah.
Yeah. And, you know, hats off to your guys' company, man, because that's pretty cool.
We like to eat and drink, so it was an easy choice to pay those people back. Yes, yes.
There you go. Yes.
All right, Coach, safe flight to Arizona. We'll see you soon.
See you guys. All right.
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Okay, guys on chicks, what do you got? What are you laughing about? I'm just laughing at the video that Billy texted the group chat. Antonio Brown continuously farting in front of his doctor.
It just seemed childish to me, Dr. Prisk said.
I'm a doctor, and this man is farting in my face. Is Antonio Brown getting electric stimulation on his body, which is making his muscles twitch? I'm going to play that one again.
It's pretty freaking low. Those bodybuilders.
Oh, my God. That should be on the list.
That's on the list. All right, list all right guys on chicks then we're gonna do our weekend preview and picks which the drive to la is going to really come down to it all right tj hey go ahead guys my boyfriend and i have been dating for two years and we recently moved in together Everything has been fine up until recently when he sent me a meme relating to shitting on each other's chest.
For the record, I think it was disgusting. While he said it was a joke, recently he's continued to bring it up, saying it would be so funny if he actually did it to me and will not let it go.
I'm starting to think this is something he actually desires, and I'm becoming increasingly uncomfortable sharing a bed with him. What's my next step? I think it's more of a red flag that he's sending memes to you yeah i feel like that's it you don't you don't send memes to somebody that you're in a relationship with yeah you steal the memes and then you verbally tell them to them when you're out to dinner so you sound funny yeah what are you gonna say billy you absolutely send memes to people wait you said you said funny tweets and stuff yeah and memes yeah no you send like videos of dogs that are having a great time playing no I think you send funny I I send funny stuff like tweets and shit memes yeah I know you at no point at no point should you like screenshot a meme of the guy being like one does does not simply walk through Hodor or whatever the fuck that guy says and like send that you You don't send Willy Wonkas to somebody that you're in a relationship with.
No, not those memes. But there's funny like memes that you'll see on the internet.
Not shitting on people. That one's weird.
But I absolutely think you share funny things you find on the internet with your partner. Absolutely.
All day. I don't think I've ever.
I never want to see the impact font come across my text thread. You're a meme hater.
There's modern memes. Yeah, you're a meme hater.
Yeah, you are. You're living in the past with memes.
To find a meme. There's modern memes.
There's new memes every day. You send screenshots of memes.
It's not just Crying Jordan and Willy Wonka. You send screenshots.
We literally have a guy. Name memes.
I love memes. That's totally different to be posting memes online.
You're insulting memes. Your memes is love language.
All right, memes. Memes, are you there? I can't see behind my head.
Yeah. Pussy.
Is there a meme? I don't have eyes in the back of my head. Could you ever send a meme to a girl and be like, this meme is going to get her so wet? She's going to love this meme.
I mean, it's funny enough. Yeah's not like trying to get...
It's just funny things to... It's not all about always, like, I want to try to get her wet.
It's just, hey, this is funny. Let's laugh.
That's where you and I differ. I guess so.
It's, you know, just having a funny banter back and forth. No, but as for the shit on the chest, it's I don't think he actually means it.

I think he was trying to do a little trial balloon.

Are there actually people out there that like shitting on other people's chests?

What is it?

Odell?

No, he likes getting shit on.

Yeah, that's right. Right.

Well, then I assume the person that he finds probably likes to shit on him.

I think they're just like, I'll tolerate.

Two to tango.

I'll tolerate dating an all pro wide receiver if it means that he'll crap on my areolas every now and again. All right, next one.
Hey, part of my take crew. My boyfriend of almost three and a half years listens to your podcast every week and worships the ground you all walk on.
For this past year, Spotify wrapped. His number one artist was Olivia Rodrigo and his top three songs were by her too.
Do you think I'm doing a good job as his girlfriend if all he listens to is depressing songs about breakups? Thanks, guys. Ooh.
Sounds like he's in touch. Some of those are bangers.
He's in touch with his feminine side. Yeah, I was going to say she rocks.
Yeah, like some of those are bangers. I think you have to weed through it.
Like, does this song rock no matter what is being said? Or is it like he's just listening to Taylor Swift over and over being like, I can't wait till we break up where this actually hits me even more? Good for You is just a good song. Yeah, but there's a...
Listen, I'm not going to judge because we spend way too much time thinking about football and sports and gambling and everything, but the equivalent of that is the females out there that light a candle every night and listen to Taylor Swift on repeat.

I don't want to put this in your head.

Kelly Keegs, I like you. Don't get mad at me.
I don't want to put this in your head to the person that wrote in, but there's another possibility here. That he might share a Spotify account with a girl.
Yeah. And it's invaded his most listened to.
His ex-girlfriend? Because somehow my account got linked up like four years ago with a guy that lives in El Salvador and listens to nothing but El Salvadorian music. And so in my recommended for you playlist, always one of them is just a bunch of songs by Central American artists.
And it always, I have no idea how it happened, but we might be looking at a similar situation. Yeah, I hope not.
You're right. But just put the screws to him a little bit.
Memes, next one. My boyfriend ruins the moment when he has to go pee before sex every time.
He says he needs to empty his pipe before using it. He's jacking off.
He's jerking off because he's a two-pump chump. Yeah.
He's firing off a warning shot. Yeah.
I get turned off and shut him down when he comes back from the bathroom every time. Any advice? Roman swipes.
Yeah, Roman swipes. Actually, good call, Billy.
Roman swipes. Yeah, just don't let him drink water.
Yeah, or just be like, hey, instead of jerking off in the toilet, why don't I just jerk you off and then I'll fuck your limp noodle? That's sexier. Yeah.
Yeah, sorry. But this guy needs to just offer up Roman swipes.
Well, it sounds like he's not even lying about it. Well, he is because he's saying he's peeing.
No, he says he's got to go empty the pipes. Yeah.
That was the exact phrasing? Yeah. Yeah.
I think that she's just misinterpreting it. Yeah.
My husband and I are expecting our first child in two weeks and it's a girl. Considering my husband has used the ultrasound measurements to calculate which sport she will likely excel the most in while also praying she doesn't arrive on a Sunday.
We could use all the help over here. Dad cat.
Any advice on what you would give to a soon be girl dad? Yeah, I mean, it is very funny, like, thinking.

I think it's the macho thing before you have a kid

where you're like, oh, I can't wait to teach my son

or my daughter to play this sport

or I'm going to tie their hand behind their back,

have them be a lefty.

And then they arrive and you're like,

I just want them to be healthy.

And also, given my personal genetics,

I don't know this person, like, there is a 0% chance either of my kids play any type of sport at a high level so i let's be honest with ourselves here like my son just started learning how to shoot in the little uh tykes you know basketball hoop he sucks at it and he probably will suck forever and that's okay because i fucking love the kid it really speaks to what most guys are like before they have kids yes that we were only able to think of things in terms of sports yeah so if we see a bit it doesn't matter that it's your kid and then it's on an ultrasound and it's going to be a real person that you'll get to meet in a couple weeks our brains are just wired to be like look at those hamstrings she's a sprinter yeah or like you're like when you're when you're hanging out with your boys in like college, like, oh, my kid's going to beat up your kids. Like now that we all have kids, I would never want my kid to get hurt under any circumstances.
So no, thank you. On behalf of him.
Look at the neck on this kid. We got a future take you to spikes.
Did you see that tweet of that woman who has like a seven-year-old who did a Rukonda forever?

Yeah, that was a great one.

It's like my kid said, it's so unfair that my whole childhood is going to be coronavirus.

Now that I have children, all those tweets are even funnier.

Obviously, a seven-year-old and a two-and-a-half-year-old are very different,

but I don't think my child is ever going to be bringing up those type of topics.

She said allegedly, I've had a corona childhood. Does that mean I'm going to have a Corona virus life? Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, that's a very insightful seven year old.
Like, yes. I just I like to imagine that seven year old doesn't even exist.
It's just a lady had a psychotic break online. Well, I invented a family.
I think it's I think there's like a whole corner of the Internet where all these people like to trade these stories to make themselves feel like great parents because they're like, look how smart my kid is. Because I went to that woman's Twitter feed and she had also retweeted someone saying, I turned to my five year old today and said, I wish we could just lay in bed and snuggle all day.
And my five year old said you would get dehydrated. What? What kids are you raising that that's what they think about? That's weird.
That's really weird. That's very bizarre.
But that would be a great pickup line for somebody to use in an actual relationship. My son, all he does is he says, I need.
He says, I need park. He needs to go to the park.
He's like, I need to go to the park. I need cars.
I'm gonna invent a fake a fake child for myself who's actually gonna be the opposite who's gonna be the dumb the dumbest kid yeah ever online just should be a kid well i'm gonna make up stupid shit that they say like they're actively wrong about everything yeah um be a good bit all right uh we have any more that's it one last one uh hi hi cat poofed and honk this sounds weird but it's actually oh hank's not here because he got bullied by bills fans this sounds weird but it's actually true credit to us by the way because um hank asked us not to say any v word shaming which we haven't done no i'm very happy that we just said that his bills fans have bullied him off twitter which will make him equally as mad make him equally as mad. But we followed his rules.
Every Bills fan out there, send a nice tweet to Hank today. Tomorrow morning.
When you hear this. Yeah, send him a nice tweet.
Very, very nice. Maybe talk about how great the Week 13 Super Bowl was.
Yeah. This sounds weird, but it's actually true and seriously seriously annoying Every time my boyfriend and I have sex

It starts out great but then my boyfriend uses a weird

Robot voice and says things like

Mating sequence initiated and penis

Equals erect ready for insertion

And it really gets me out of the mood

He says he's been doing it for years and I'm the only one

Who's ever had a problem with it

How can I get him to stop or should I just let him keep going? Thanks

I think you gotta go over the top with it

You gotta be more robotic than he is

Yeah Pod doors are open Was he fucking a robot before? I like this. This guy's got.
Listen, he's doing something different. It's not as cool as the guy that would call out audibles when he was trying to switch positions.
Yeah. That guy.
Yeah. Like Omaha.
Omaha. You should just over.
You should just. Yeah.
Reverse it on him. You should be like powering down and just go limp.
Just a total reversal on the robot. Give him the blue screen of death.
Yeah. Yeah, the red ring of death as well.
That was Xbox. The Xbox.
Xbox red ring of death. Shout out to anyone who went through the red ring of death and tried to do...
There was this whole entire video that showed you how you could fix it and it was like a blow dryer and like some super glue and all these steps and you just essentially what happened was it was like a one percent chance you could fix it and a 99 percent chance you fucked up the warranty so you could never get like a new x there were actually online communities that were built around the red screen of death like message but it was a very active topic i'm sure billy if you look up on the bodybuilding forums there's probably at least seven powerful threads on there about how to deal with the red screen that's probably the worst thing that happened to me in like the year of 2005 i want to say maybe when did xbox come out i was a long i was before that i think yeah it might have been before that. I had Xbox when I was a freshman in college.

That's when we were playing.

That's when I truly fell in love with Madden.

I used to always love playing it.

But Madden 2004 was probably the best video game of all time.

Was that the first Xbox?

No, but didn't the original not have the ring?

Yeah, at 360 was the...

Yeah, like 2005.

Yeah, it was at 360. Red Ring of Death.
All right, Should we do our picks? What are you going to say, Billy? I'm looking at this bodybuilding forum. My Xbox won't turn on Red Ring.
That's a big deal. What did they say? What did they say to do? I'm looking through.
Real ones will know. They just do...
Red Ring of Death ruined me. Because I remember...
You set it off for a few weeks, right?

Yeah, you set it off.

It was like $99, which in college, that's a lot of money.

And I remember it was almost essentially like Breaking Bad.

We were cooking meth in our apartment trying to fix the Xbox,

the amount of tools and weird shit we had to do.

And it didn't work.

It literally was just meant.

I think it was actually written by Xbox so that everyone would ruin their warranty and have to buy a new xbox um all right let's do it pics give us an update so here's what we did this week we all texted memes um our pics separately and so he has all of our pics so there's no cheating no issues with that Hank will – memes will say Hank's picks out loud when we go around. Jake, give us the breakdown.
I think Liam's in the best spot, right? Liam is in the best spot. So PFT is two games up on Hank, who is a game and a half up on me.
You're a half game behind me, so you're two games behind Hank. In second place Second place and last place we're going.
And then Liam is two and a half behind you and he's two and a half up on Billy. So Liam is two and a half games separated from Danger.
Everyone else is within two. Wow.
With eight left. So no one's safe.
You're in pretty good shape, Big Cat. You and Bubba are okay.
I would say Liam, Big Cat, me. If Jake and I bust out like a 3-1 and Hank goes a 1-3, we're in second place.
Hank's too good of a gambler, though. But this is a diabolical way to do this.
What we wanted is happening. We've accomplished what we wanted, and that this is coming down to the end and everyone can be fucked.
If Billy goes 8-0-0, new game. I think Billy needs to go at least 2-2 to have a heartbeat going into next.
I think he's going to go 8-0. I think Billy's going to absolutely choke down the stretch and finish a resounding last place.
Billy. I think Billy's low-key pumped for the trip, though.
Be a legend to go 8-0. I'm low-key pumped for the trip.
I think Billy's low-key pumped for the trip, too. I was thinking about it.
Like, I could just and two both weeks, pick the over-and-under. But I'm not going to do it.
I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it.
I'm not going to do it. The whole point of doing this was it was supposed to be a punishment that we all didn't want to do.
I didn't want to do it. I know.
Now I want to do it. I don't think it's ruining it to simply admit the fact that cross-country road trip sounds like a good time to me right now.
Cross-country but it was supposed like you understand doing this for an entire season i just i just flipped into a positive mindset um yeah i still very much don't want to do it go eat no billy shooting for the top or crashing burning billy why don't you start why don't you start you're gonna go eat no favorites favorites my favorites are rams by three and a half against the. That's mine as well.
That's mine too. That's mine as well.
Oh, no. And me.
Oh, no. And Hank? Hank has Titans minus 3.5.
Okay. All right.
Wow. So that just erased.
Now it's down to seven games. That's kind of good for non-million.
We can't reverse what we did. Five people.
We can't reverse it because this is what we did, and there's the whole reason that we texted memes. But you would be a fucking moron if you're listening to this right now and you don't bet the Ravens.
Yeah. Like five out of six of us having the same pick, has that happened? Not five.
Can I be honest with you? This game was my sucker play of the week. I was like, everybody's going to love the Rams.
Everyone's going to remember how bad the Ravens have looked with their backup quarterback situations. And I think this is going to be where we get to see the finesse Rams come back, where they're going to get shoved around a little bit.
But I love the Ravens so much that I flipped it on myself at the last second. I just don't know.
The Ravens are completely decimated on their defense. Even if Lamar plays, the Rams are going to be able to pass all over them.
Joe Burrow just had 500 yards. The Rams have the same amount of weapons that the Bengals do.
This gonna be yeah honestly if you're listening this right now and you don't bet the Ravens you're a fucking moron memes you said Titans Titans for Hank three and a half for Hank three and a half he's disrespect he really he's Hank is just based on this pick alone you can tell how nervous Hank is of judgment day of the Dolphins beating the Patriots week 18 and going to the playoffs. They have the Jaguars.
I understand, but if the Dolphins win this game, Hank is saying to himself, the Titans are going to kill the Dolphins. The Dolphins suck.
I don't have to worry about the Dolphins week 18. Is it a possibility that we get into a situation where Hank going into week 18 could fall out of second place? Jake could take his spot in second place if Jake picked the Dolphins to beat the Patriots.
And so then Hank has to root for the Dolphins so that he doesn't go on the trip. That would be great.
That would be awesome. Yeah.
All right, underdogs. Hank, three and a half, by the way.
Three and a half. I want to say all the numbers.
Yep, thank you, Jake. My underdog is Cardinals by five and a half.
Okay. So they're on a two-game losing streak.
They're playing a big game against the Cowboys. I think they need to win this game to have any confidence.
I think they're going to want it more. The Cowboys, I think, may be in chill for the playoffs mode.
Big Cat brought up that stat about Cliff Kingsbury and how he's Mr. Weeks 1-7.
1-9. Let's give him credit.
1-7 is his worst stretch over the last three years that he's been in the NFL, but somebody brought up a graphic that goes back way farther as head coach from Doug Closton. So it goes all the way back to 2013 when he was coaching Texas Tech in every season from there.
Games 1 through 7 in every season, 42-20-1. The rest of the year, 16-43.
He's got a vitamin D problem. That's the only thing i can think of so i saw this i the

only reason that it i in my mind it like doesn't hold up is that texas tech plays cupcakes in september it's still a stat so it's like four and oh automatically nfl yeah no it's still stat it's still no but it's not just like four and oh there are a lot of no i know but it's like they Start 4-0 every year.

7-0, 5-2.

All right, so Cardinals.

So you're going against... No, there are a lot of...
No, I know, but they start 4-0 every year. 7-0, 5-2.

All right, so Cardinals.

So you're going against the Cliff Kingsbury.

5-1, yeah.

Okay.

Jake.

I took the Dolphins plus 3-1.

Okay.

Head to head with Hank.

This is huge.

That is huge.

That game will decide a lot.

If the Dolphins cover, not only they're more alive in the playoffoff picture but well they have to win right they have to win but uh so they do win and cover hank and i are pretty much even but if hank wins it probably eliminates the dolphins and it could put hank yeah closer to the road trip in place all right so um i'm doing the respect game you have. Automatic.
Might even make it a game of the year. Pittsburgh Steelers plus three and a half Monday night.
Big Ben's last home game. Have to.
Have to. I was just thinking about what Big Ben's career is going to be like post-retirement.
I feel like he's going to be the new Dan Marino or Joe Theismann where he does every commercial. Yeah.
Big Ben's going to be on TV for CopperFit Knee Braces, selling his BB7 diet method. He'll definitely have a job with the Steelers in some capacity that isn't real.
Football ambassador. Yeah.
They'll give him a title that makes him feel vice president of football things. They might even put things in there for him.
Big Ben should just be a spokesperson for WebMD. He's like, how are you feeling? Do you have a tickle in the back of your throat? He should just be the chat operator.
So when you log on to WebMD and they're like, I see you've logged on. Can I help you with anything? It's actually Big Ben.
Hi, my name is Ben. I've had every injury that's ever occurred.
How can I help yeah you got a you got a torn labrum in your hip yeah oh that reminds me of week 12 in 2012 when uh i shouldn't have played but i did someone's like my my head kind of aches sounds like you were riding a motorcycle yeah like do you do you have a game this week that's what that's all that's how he asks the first question hi Hi, it's Big Ben. Do you have a game this week? Okay, you can play.
Yeah, well, listen, every other doctor that you'll ever talk to is going to tell you that you can't do it. But if you really believe in yourself, you can gut through this one.
All right, your underdog, PFT. Texans, plus 12 and a half at the 49ers.
Jimmy G's got the injury. He's got a finger, right? Is it going to be Trey Lance? He's got a finger.
We're going to get maybe Trey Lance. They'll at least sprinkle a little Trey Lance for us, I think.
I would agree. I think Kyle Shanahan said that Trey Lance has had the best month of practice that he's had all year, which is a good thing that he's better now than he was at the start of the year because he stunk when he got in.
That was against the Cardinals, right? He ran the touchdown play that one time. Yeah.
But, yeah, the whole game against the Cardinals was bad. That stunk.
And also, Texans are hot. Yeah.
Plus 12 and a half. They're starting to believe.
Right now it's 13. Do we want to keep it at 12 and a half? No, give them 13.
No, give them 13. All right.
Liam. I've got Falcons plus 14.

Oh, at Buffalo.

Yes, Buffalo has just been hot coming off a big win.

I feel like Falcons kind of keep it close.

They are the...

What about the coin math, Bubba?

Did you hear me when I was talking about the coin math?

Yeah, I didn't know about that, I'll be honest.

And the Falcons do get blown out by good teams.

That's their thing.

That's kind of their thing. They really get blown out by good teams.
They get smoked by good teams. All right.
Hank's pick, as said by memes. Raiders plus five.
Wow. John Madden.
John Madden. Yep.
Wait. Is it six and a half right now? It's been bouncing around because Carson Wentz.
It went all the way down to one. It was an eight and a half, went down to one.

It is off the board on the Barstool Sportsbook currently.

So that's probably.

Did Hank know something?

Hank.

Hank might have known something. He might have, yeah.

Let's see.

Hank knows everything.

I'm going to try to find it.

Let's see.

Let's give him what's a fair.

I see six and a half other places.

Let's give him six and a half.

Okay.

I think that's fair.

I see six and a half at two different places.

All right.

All right.

See you next time. I see six and a half other places.
Let's give them six and a half. Okay.
I think that's fair. I see six and a half at two different places.

All right.

All right.

Six and a half plus six and a half.

Okay.

You're over, Billy.

My over had to take it.

You know, we're playing conservative trying to get this eight.

No.

Chief Spangles over 50.

What does that have to do with conservative?

Like you're – this is the most aggressive over that you can take. Are you trying or not trying? I'm really trying.
this 8-0, Chiefs Bengals over 50. What does that have to do with conservative?

This is the most aggressive over that you can take. Are you trying or not trying? I'm really trying.

I'm like, what? Well, that's mine as well. Yeah, it's the

most obvious over. You're Sue?

Okay.

Interesting. I mean, if you don't think Joe Bro's going to

try to outplay Patrick Mahomes.

As opposed to like every other week. He's going to try to

win? Yeah. Yeah, like big time.
Joe Bro's going to

try to win. You can tell he takes it personal.
No, yeah. Last week he came out there and he was like, I'm going to suck because I'm not playing anybody.
But next week. But you bring your best when you're playing the best.
But when he played Josh Johnson, he had his best game of his career. Right.
Josh Johnson is the best journeyman quarterback. No, but he wants to go out and do that against the Kansas City Chiefs.
Got it. Okay.
I like it. I'll tell you what.
Billy and Liam have two of the three the same, and it's a two-and-a-half game lead. That's huge for Liam.
That's huge for Liam. This might be a torch game.
Wait, so that's just guaranteed Billy's in last entering next week. Fuck.
Because he can't jump two-and-a-half games if they have only two different. That's fine.
You'll be in striking distance, Billy. How many am I up on Billy? Billy are up five on Billy with eight left.
The Omaha Zoo is the best. No matter what, Billy will be.
I hate that you're doing this, PFT. You have to try.
No, I'm the most honest person here in that I want to finish second place. I'm being very honest with you guys.
My over, my over is Rams, Ravens. You do understand my point, though, that the competition, in the spirit of the competition, what people were listening for was like, man, this is going to suck for two people.
Oh, every week it's neck and neck. And then on the finish line, you're like, I actually kind of want to do it.
I think they'd actually be happy to see us having a good time on the trip across the But that's different than saying it now. Like having again, if I finish second, I will find a way to make good content out of it and have fun with it.
But I don't want to do it because that's the whole point. Wait for a second, Billy.
I think what the actual issue is here, when we first conceptualized the trip across the country, we were like, fuck, that's going to suck. I hate that.
Now we've gone so long and the fact of the matter is i literally just like looked at a map that somebody tweeted me and i got excited about it and i'm sure that if i finish in second place yes when it's when it dawns on me that i'm actually gonna have to do it i'm probably gonna flip again and be like this sounded like I could do. This is going to suck.
I just want to keep a competition that we had set from the beginning where it was like, everyone's like, oh, that sucks. We're ever finished second and last instead of, oh, we're now gunning for second and last.
I just think that's a you problem. If you're upset that I'm not looking for.
I'm not upset. I'm not a me problem.
Spirit of the competition. You're yucking my yum.
No, I'm trying to have a competition that we've done all season, and instead of the last two weeks being like, I'm in first, but I'd like to be second, so I win either way. That happened.
The reality is if I do come in second, I'm sure that eventually I'm going to flip again and be like, I really don't want to do this shit. Just do it now.
I really don't want to do this shit. There it is.
That's all you have to do. I thought it was going to be fun.
There it is. But I actually have to get into a car.
There it is. And it'd be awesome if it was warm weather.
And we could get the convertible. It's fun when people listen to us being like, we have to do something we don't want to do.
Not, we get to do something fucking sick. What a bad punishment.
The best possible outcome. For this thing we've invested all year in.
Is actually me really hoping I get second place, still finishing in first, and then Hank having to go on the trip, and I'm like, damn, I wish I could have done that. Yeah, that's funny.
If you're like, oh, Hank, you're going to have so much fun, I really wish I was in your spot, and then knowing he's going to be miserable. The two people who go are going to make good content out of it.
I never thought that was going to be the case. Unless it's like, well, no, Billy and Jake would have been hilarious.
That would be great. It's very much in the cards.
I kind of am fine with losing, but if I do get second to last, I would still kind of want to go. Okay, so there we go.
Rams, Ravens, over 46 and a half. Why don't we all just drive across country? We should actually clarify for Billy that you're going to have to work and do other stuff while you're on the road trip.
Correct. It's not a bad.
I think most of the reason why Billy wants to go on the road trip is so that he doesn't have to work. And you also don't have like six days to do it.
Okay. Are you going to bring your dog? No.
I got bent. You're going to do Mitt Romney and just put him on the roof? Rams-Ravens over 46.5 is my over.

Did you do your over?

Yeah, it's just me, Liam, and Billy have 50.

I like that over.

I think that's a good one.

Which one?

Rams-Ravens.

So you're going to take that?

No, but I'm just saying I like it.

Okay.

My over is I got Cardinals-Cowboys over 51.5. Okay.
That's a fun over. Basically just a fun over.
That's a fun over. 52.
Even better. Even better.
Liam, Bubba. He's in with the same.
Oh, yeah, he's the same. All right, memes for Hank.
Bills, Falcons over 44 and a half. Bills, Falcons over 44 and a half Bills Falcons over 44 and a half okay under Billy wrap us up Giants Bears 37 and a half it's a yucky game I just I had the same one yeah are you kidding oh my god I mean you texted it to me I texted it to me memes can verify no no but memes has been memes has been back there with.
So Liam has... So that's huge for Liam.
Yeah, without even realizing he has played incredible defense. Wait, so what's the game that I haven't chosen with Liam? You have the Cardinals plus five and a half, and he has Atlanta plus 14.
In theory, that would have been a great strategy. It would.
If I just tried to guess all it is. If Liam wins the Falcons and Billy loses the Cardinals,

it would be three and a half with four games left.

There would then need to be a 4-0 and 0-4 reverse sweep next week.

But if he loses and I win, is that?

Then it's one and a half with four to go.

Got it.

Then it's very much less.

So it's in reach.

Yes.

All right.

So what was that number?

Under 37 and a half. Jake, you're under.
If I confirm that. 38.
Giant Bears, 38. 38.
Okay. I took, what did I take? I took the Jets bucks, I believe it was under 46.
That's mine as well. Under 46.
Yeah. So we're paired up on two.
Yes. We're not really head to head.
Well, we kind of are. That's good.
I get to second. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
There's going to be movement to second. All right.
And then finally, Hank's last under. Memes.
Hank has 49ers, Texans 44. And I can confirm that Billy and Liam have three picks.
Wow. Texans, Hank has 44 and a half now.
Who texted you first, Jake or Billy? Or Liam or Billy? Billy, then Liam. Interesting.
So Hank, 44 and a half. You texted first, Billy.
Well, I did do an update on my picks picks Wait, what? And that one update was the one pick that we have different Interesting Because I picked the Colts as my underdog originally When Sam Ellinger was starting And then I said Actually, I want to change it Good thing he has the Falcons And not the Colts So it never never was a problem. Maybe he'd change it, too.
I'm excited for Week 17. Why didn't you get my under? Oh, yeah, you're under.
My under, I'm going to take the under in the Saints-Panthers. Which is? 38 and a half.
That's what I got. I don't know what it's going to take.
Yeah, no, there's two games in the 30s. Just gross.
Just a gross game. I don't know who's going to be playing quarterback for the Saints.

Assume Taysom Hill, right?

If Blake's starting, do I get permission to change this?

Out of respect for Blake.

Yes, absolutely.

I'm not going to be putting my name next to an under pick with Blake Bortles' name next to it.

If he does change, I'm going to take a game.

I'll pick one that—who are the Seahawks playing?

Seahawks are playing the Lions.

Okay, no one's talked about that game yet, so I'll take the under in that game.

Okay.

Okay, so one's talked about that game yet, so I'll take the under in that game. Okay.
Your official pick is Carolina. No, no.
Yes, correct. He gets a...
If Blake Bortles starts, it now switches to Seahawks-Lions. The Blake Bortles clause, yeah.
It's absolutely fair. I did notice that some people online got to the bottom of the Who Dat vs.
Who Day discussion discussion and let's just say some stones are better left unturned yes i'd agree i'd agree but thank you for for overturning those stones for a brief second and then being like oops there's some worms and critters the phrase weird shit the phrase entertainment sketches from the 1960s was doing a lot of work.

Yes.

It's like my grandfather took a semester abroad from Germany to Argentina in 1945.

Let's just quickly say best games of the weekend.

There's some weird games because everyone's still alive.

What would you say the best game on week 17 is?

Chiefs Bengals. Chiefs Bengals.

Chiefs Bengals, yeah.

Thank you. because everyone's still alive.
What would you say the best game on Week 17 is? Chiefs-Bangles. Chiefs-Bangles? Chiefs-Bangles, yeah.
Chiefs-Bangles. Cardinals-Cowboys, although the Cowboys, both teams are in.
They both clinched. But I don't think that's that good of a game, though, because the Cowboys are awesome and the Cardinals suck.
Raiders-Cults will be interesting because that does feel like the Colts have been riding really high and the Raiders I don't know maybe I'm just talking myself into this Raiders maybe beating the Colts which is not going to happen and then the Vikings are going to lose by a billion to the Packers I'm sure unless Kyle Slater starts unless Kyle Slater starts then I'll also give you permission for that if Kyle Slater starts you get the Vikings as your underdog if you'd Decline. Out of respect.
Decline. Oh, you don't believe in Kyle Sloder? I want to see how he plays.
I want to watch all 22 of him during a regular season game. I've only seen him play in the month of August.
I don't know if he can handle December. That's true.
All right, anything else before we wrap up? The numbers. Like last week, we're doing this on Tuesday again.
We had Dolphins plus three and a half last week. I know, but that's just how it is.
That's how it is. It could change a lot.
Billy benefited from the Raiders-Browns game a couple weeks ago. True.
It's COVID rules. It's COVID rules.
I had one other stat that I wanted to address here. Cliff Kingsbury, you know what his middle name is? No.
It's Tarl with a T. Tarl? Yeah, Tarl.
Clifford? Cliff Carl? No, it's Tarl. But you think it was Carl with a K at one point? Oh, good call.
Good call. They really went out of their way to avoid those initials.
Yeah, his grandfather's name is Carl. Yeah, Smart move to the Kingsbury family.
Carl. Although, you're really toeing the line with that one.
Wait, are we idiots? Is Cliff spelled with a K or C? It's K. Oh, shit.
Kingsbury is spelled with a K as well. Well, that was one of your most genius moments, Billy, and then you've doubted yourself.
What the hell? Yeah. No, that was great.
Pick yourself up. Yeah, it is.
What? Fact check confirmed. Do you guys have any New Year's resolutions? Yeah, by the way, real quick, if I ordered supplements, a supplement stack for everyone in the podcast, would you guys be down to take it? Yes.
No questions asked. Let me just read it out so people...
I'll give you my credit card. Okay, beta alanine, 500 milligrams, aspartic acid.
Wait, who's this for? That's in4 for each of you creatine oh you're not you're not customizing i'm customizing it for everybody as a whole or no no you're saying what customization is so you're gonna get stuff that speeds up your metabolism okay pft is gonna okay yeah that is customization okay yeah so yeah give me give me what i'm getting okay this is what you're getting beta alanine 500, 500 milligrams. Aspartic acid, 600 milligrams.
Creatine. Actually, you know what? No creatine for you.
Creatine, Whitney Stone. Yeah, yeah, no creatine for you.
Ashkuanda extract, tribulus terrestris, arginine, theanine, and turmeric biopairine. That's just to make sure everything is streamlined in your body.
Okay. I look forward to whatever.
You're getting something a little different. What am I getting? Is he getting the creatine? You're getting vasco dilators to get you a pump so every time you work out, your muscles get fucking swole.
Wait, what about me? That's the only thing that I'm getting? Yeah, but you just finished a cut. You're giving Big Cat the ingredients of a complete nutrition laboratory.
You're getting like detain. Essentially, you're saying to me, I'm going to cocaine.
No it's actually it's actually he's just going to dehydrate you so that your veins pop. No you're going to get water.
You're giving me one thing. Big cat.
I'm giving you nitro oxide boosters and other stuff. Oh that's not.
Yeah. Wait he's getting to the other stuff.
Nitro oxide boosters. That's fucking sick.
Yeah. Okay.
Decreation is that bad for somebody with kidney stones? Chronic kidney stones? No it's just going to make you bloated. It's going to push out the kidney stones.
Okay. It's going to break them up.
Get those kidneys going. That's good.
I just want to get jacked. Exactly.
New year, new me. I want to dunk on a regular.
My resolution is I want to dunk something on a regulation. We're going to put carnitine, which makes your muscle fibers more efficient.
Okay. I like that.
I'm also going to read a book this year. There we go.
I'm still thinking about it. I have a tweet from like three years ago saying I started a book.
I can't wait until I finish one so I can reply to it. It's been a while.
You know what else? I did start a book when I tweeted that. I'm going to learn the Freebird solo this year.
There we go. Jake? I'm going to read Goodell vs.
Obama. Oh.
Good book. You should read the audiobook version.
Yes. And you should also purchase that if you don't have it already on audible.com.
I'm getting jacked again and starting to dress more like an adult. What? Yeah.
What does that mean? Just shoelaces in your shoes? Dude, I already started, bro. Look what I got for Christmas.
Wait, you brought it to show us? Yeah. That's a book bag.
That's not dressing. It's an accessory.
It's not a backpack. Right, but that's not.
It's a satchel. But that's not part of dressing.
We're looking more adult. Okay, all right, all right.
It's accessory. Adult steps.
It's accessory, yeah. Billy, you know that.
Satchel. You know that you're a blogger, right? Satchel.
We have a job that's like... It encourages you.
Yeah, but at one point, you guys dressed like adults. No.
PFG is literally wearing sweatpants to play portals. No, but in your life.
What? At one point, you put on adult clothes. Dude, I get made fun of for dressing the most adult-like, and it's just jeans and a sweatshirt.
That is like the peak of our... Yeah, Bicat gets jeans shamed.

Yeah, I get jeans shamed.

He does show up.

I'm literally the most adult person on this podcast.

And I've worn a sweatshirt 40 days in a row.

But at one point in your guys' lives, you guys like... Bicat loves to rub in the whole I went to college thing.

Yeah, he wears sweatshirts.

With hoods. Look at me.
And not hoods sometimes. Look at me.
I have equity. I'm wearing socks.
You got nice orange socks on right now. I know.
They're nice. You also have equity.
Actually, everything that I'm wearing right now is free, which is pretty typical of my day-to-day experience. Yes.
I'm never going to grow up. No, you're going to grow up.
All right. Numbers, do you want to – does someone want to go hit the machine? 69.
Scouts honor memes. Bring the ball out here.
44. For the video.
22. Six.
TJ, you want to guess? The last ball of 2021. Wow.
16. You're a big, I can tell, you're a big, like, this is the last of this year thing.
This is also the penultimate week of the regular season. I've gotten to the point where the years just blend together.

I don't even.

But you've said that a few times.

I like that.

You need one guy around who's like, hey, this is the last time we'll be together.

2021, guys.

Time to reflect.

Another cool throne.

See you next year, guy.

Yeah.

That guy's having a week.

Last time we'll sip out of this water in this room.

You guys think 2022 is going to be better than 2021?

2022 is going to be sick. The Jets are going to do some sick shit.
I think everything changes in 2022. If you had to power rank 2020 and 2021, what's first? 2020.
I like the first. There was no March Madness.
Oh, yeah, that's true. first two months yeah first two months were sick yeah dude New Orleans yeah yeah no what did you get 68 are you kidding me oh damn I think it was upside down the lines on the bottom 68 yeah Billy that's so close but yeah I think that's fair it's like having the debate second timer like Walter Payton versus Emmitt Smith's career or something like it.
The peaks of 2020 were amazing. Right.
The lows were quite low. Terrible.
2021 was pretty good. Also, we compiled stats in 2021.
You could make the argument the first two weeks of quarantine were kind of low-key fun. Tiger King.
Yeah, it was snow day.

Getting over March Madness.

Yeah, but now the fact that we're still dealing with this shit is such a slog and such a drain.

Before, at least coronavirus was scary.

You know what I mean? It was scary.

We were like, ooh, this is scary for a little bit.

Dude, everyone got addicted to the news.

Yep.

We were all terrified for a while. I watched Cuomo do his press conferences.
His PowerPoints. Yeah, every single day.
Yeah, all the Cuomo sexuals out there had a great 2020. 2021 was not as good for you.
That was wild when we all just pretended. What about you, Billy? 2020 or 2021? Well, you're a big Trump guy, so.
So January 2021 was great for Bill. We'll see everyone in 2020.
Wait, wait, wait. I gotta explain something.
So the difference between a crow, a raven, and a blackbird. Blackbirds are much smaller.
Who asked? It's like the cougar, puma, and mountain lion. Who asked that?

These are highly asked questions.

Crows have different sounds than ravens.

Ravens travel in pairs. Crows travel in flocks.
Love you guys. All right.
Well, I just heard

Talking away

The news today

I'm to say I

Seems my life

Saves anyway

It's gonna change Today's a night I'll close my eyes Day to fighting Begin to pray Shying away The tears of joy Streaming I'll be coming for your love of joy.

Take on me.

Take me.

I'll be gone.

And I'll be an empty ocean. Well, I don't know.
Needless to say. If I'm ready.
I'm all descended. To see the mind.
But I'm mean. I have to be Stolen away I take away Early love Life is okay Say it all To me It's the better to be safe Than take on me Take on me

Take me on I'll be gone And interrupted I'll show you when you're living

With arms wide open

With arms wide open